Ann PAMELA -Love Triangle

LOVE TRIANGLE

By Pamela Ann

LOVE TRIANGLE Copyright © 2014 by Pamela Ann All rights reserved. Smashwords Edition This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. Interior book design by Bob Houston eBook Formatting

LOVE TRIANGLE CONTENTS SCORNFULLY YOURS (TORN SERIES BOOK #1) CHASING BEAUTIFUL (CHASING SERIES BOOK #1) More books by Pamela Ann Acknowledgements:

Scornfully Yours (TORN SERIES BOOK #1)

By Pamela Ann

SCORNFULLY YOURS Copyright © 2013 by Pamela Ann All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

“All the diversity, all the charm, and all the beauty of life are made up of light and shade.” Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

Prologue It was official! I had fallen hopelessly in love with Carter after dating him for only a couple of months. It wasn’t easy to come to terms with this realization knowing, with full certainty, that Carter Mason would not like this fact. He’d most likely just drop me like a hot potato the moment he found out. In the very beginning, he was quite clear about emphasizing his feelings on love and relationships. “I don’t do any of the hearts and butterflies shit, Em. I don’t do love or the happily ever after shit either.” Yep, that’s what he said, and I went ahead and jumped into bed with him anyway. What woman would fall for a playboy who loathed the idea of love? I sure wasn’t going to. Or so I thought. Carter was the University of California–Santa Barbara’s (or USCB) star forward on the soccer team. He was only a junior, but scouts from professional teams all over the world had already come to watch him play. They said he was the next ‘big thing.’ He was that good! Carter was tall, dark and handsome. He had thick, killer thighs and the nicest bottom you’d ever see. Not to mention the fact that he was dynamite between the sheets and the sweetest—if he was in

the mood—boyfriend. Everyone adored Carter and when he wanted to date me, there was no chance in the universe that I would even consider saying no. Lindsey, his sister and my roommate, was over the moon when we started dating. Although, I didn’t mention what her brother’s ‘terms’ were in our relationship. I was sure that if she knew, she wouldn’t think it was ‘love at first sight,’ but more like ‘lust at first glance.’ In the beginning, his rules were great—perfect even. I mean, I couldn’t have agreed more to them. Who would want to be tied down with a serious relationship when you were in college anyway? I certainly didn’t. I’d seen many women drop classes or quit a semester because they were too hurt and too heartbroken to continue going to school. I certainly didn’t want to become one of them, so Carter’s thing made sense. It did, until I fell in love with him. Now, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Who Ever Loved That Loved Not at First Sight? It lies not in our power to love or hate, For will in us is overruled by fate. When two are stripped, long ere the course begin, We wish that one should love, the other win; And one especially do we affect Of two gold ingots, like in each respect: The reason no man knows; let it suffice What we behold is censured by our eyes. Where both deliberate, the love is slight: Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?

~Christopher Marlowe

“Love is not a force between a mind and a body, but a force between two hearts. Your mind and eyes will never tell you when you feel true love, for only your heart can receive the true love that another heart sends directly to it.”

~Dr. Laurence J. Peter

One My phone vibrated and I fished it out of my purse. Carter: Baby, want to meet me for lunch? Crap, this was not good since I hadn’t decided what I was going to do about him yet. Me: Sorry, can’t. I have school stuff to do. It was a half lie, technically, but what was I to do? I was still coming to terms with how I felt for him and I would probably freak out if I saw him right now. My Human Sexuality class ended with a yawn. My teacher, Mrs. Crowley, was a total bore. To think I was ecstatic to enroll in this class. What a laugh! I was surprised to see Lindsey outside, waiting for me when I got out of class. “Hey, what’s up?” “I need a 911 emergency therapy session. Let’s do lunch then I’ll tell you all about it!” Her pretty pink, glossed lips pouted. I

loved Lindsey to pieces, but she could be so emotional sometimes. “Oh, okay, I’m starving anyway. What do you feel like having?” “Tacos and margaritas!” she exclaimed. We ended up at Los Agaves and ordered our usual However, after we’d ordered Lindsey stayed busy on her phone. She had waited on me outside of class before, twice, actually, and both times were quite interesting. I was her emergency therapy person, which was why I was wondering what was taking her a while to speak up. Lindsey Mason was not your average chick. She was a straight forward, no-nonsense kind of gal. She was quite smart, like MENSA kind of smart. We immediately got along when we became roommates and were best friends now. She was a sexy brunette and adored her brother more than anything. Carter and Lindsey’s parents died in a car crash seven years ago and their aunt and uncle adopted them. I knew she was close to them, but Carter didn’t speak much about them at all. He rarely ever opened up. Well, actually, he never did. My relationship with Carter was mostly based on well, sex and not much else; and oh my, the sex... it was scorching hot and so good! Just thinking about it made me blush. Lindsey finally pushed her phone aside and clasped her hands

on the table, trying to look serious, but failing because her eyes were twinkling with enthusiasm. With a big grin she spoke, “Brody wants to date me.” Brody Thompson was Carter’s best bud—and quite a sweetheart—a smoking hot sweetheart to boot. “And?” I dragged out my question, my excitement from her announcement evident on my face. I knew it! I even teased her about it before. I saw how Brody had been checking her out, but she always played it off like I was imagining things. “And… I’m thinking of saying, no?” Linds bit her full bottom lip while tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Okay, I didn’t expect her to say ‘no.’ “Um—why not Brody? I can’t think of a reason why you wouldn’t want to date him. He’s nice… and cute!” Lindsey leaned back and huffed. “Why not Brody? Okay, let me break this down for you. First, he’s my brother’s best friend. Second, we grew up together and I was friends with some of his ex’s. Third, Brody’s just not my type.” Not her type? Was she crazy? “He is so your type, Linds! Admit it—you don’t have to be all coy.” She was interrupted from responding when our waiter delivered our food. I took a lengthy sip of my refreshing strawberry margarita, letting my words sink in as I gave my friend a simpering

smile. “Fine, I was lying. I think Brody’s hot, but he and I aren’t happening. I know you’re wondering why, but we just aren’t, okay? I just wanted you to know because I might be skipping a few parties.” That was odd. So, what if she was turning him down? Brody was not going to be a sore loser, was he? “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?” I took a big bite of my chicken taco and my tummy did a happy little merengue. God, I was starving! She merely shrugged. “It is what it is, doll.” Lindsey wiped off a little sauce from the side of her mouth with a white linen napkin and focused on me. “How are things between you and Carter? Still going strong? We were almost like sisters, if you thought about it.” I coughed at her sentiment, seriously? “It’s not like that with Carter and me. In fact, that’s far from what we are. Truth be told, it’s like having an exclusive bootie call with a dash of party scene involved,” I bravely admitted the true nature of our relationship. It sucked to blurt the truth out, but no more hiding from it. It was black and white with no gray in between. Lindsey finished her margarita and grabbed mine. That was quick. She held the stem of the glass and spoke with disdain. “Fucking Carter! I don’t get why he’s so afraid of commitment. I

just want him to be happy. He could be great with women, but he’s a complete shit to them instead. Are you happy with him, Em? I mean, with this cold, technical arrangement?” she asked as she annihilated my drink. GAH! I was, but not anymore. I loved Carter, but shit would hit the fan if he knew. Carter was known to bounce out of a relationship for less. Ask the long line of broken-hearted females who made that very mistake. “I am… I mean I was, but I’m not too sure anymore. Carter’s a great guy, Linds, but I don’t think I want to be that girl anymore.” I had always been a free spirit—not having a care in the world—I just wanted to have a good time, but now, things had changed and I wanted more out of my life. Lindsey caught the waiter’s attention and ordered two more drinks. Hmmm… why the need to get wasted during lunch time, girlfriend? She usually only had one drink in the middle of the day. “I support you in whatever decision you choose, but to be honest, if my brother can’t give you his all, why the heck would you want to stay, you know?” I nodded. Good point. Yep. Why should I stay? Let’s see, because you would go mad without him? You’ve been living and breathing the scent of the very sexy Carter

Mason for the last three months; how do you figure on surviving without his ambrosial enticement? Fuck! Fuck! Could I really do it? It would go down in history, surely. I would be the first female to dump the hot jerk. Hot, but a jerk all the same! Carter was not my first love. I had been in love before. His name was Lewis Grand and he was my high school sweetheart. It was cute and sweet—totally opposite of what I had with Carter. Lewis had been accepted to Harvard to study medicine, but before college, he planned to take a year or two to work with the underprivileged in Africa. Lewis was a great guy, but we both agreed that a long distance relationship wouldn’t work for us. I was devastated and so lonely when we broke up after being together for four years, and I wasn’t sure how to be single. The summer before college, I became depressed. It was a dark, debilitating depression that kept me secluded from the world. In my moment of darkness, I realized that I wasn’t mourning my relationship with Lewis, but the end of something that was sweet and comforting and familiar. By the time I started college, I was slowly pulling myself from the darkness and I knew that I was ready to try to start living; to be happy again. Lindsey talked me into attending my first college party. I was wary about going, but I wanted to try and live. That’s where

I met Carter. Since I had been with him, I had slowly pulled out of my funk. Dating him became a perfect solution to my loneliness; I didn’t need another serious relationship. I just wanted something fun and jumping into bed with him seemed like the perfect thing to do. Carter was great and hot damn the sex! He took me places that I didn’t know existed. Lewis was good, but compared to Carter, he was mellow and tame. Now, though, my ‘perfect idea’ had just become a perplexing quandary. After lunch, Linds had to get back to school for her class, which left me with a lot of unanswered questions. I wanted to know what was going on in that pretty, little, dark head of hers. At times, she could be very closed off; much like her brother. However, like the good friend I was, I didn’t want to push the issue and pressure her into answers, knowing quite well that she was conflicted. I knew that when she was ready, she would tell me. I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to hit the beach and try to clear my head. It was a warm, glorious September afternoon and the beach looked heavenly. Santa Barbara was a nice, little, charming town that had a rustic Spanish feel to it. I had good memories of this town from trips with my family and friends growing up. That was why UCSB had been my first choice when I applied for college. It was close to home and at the same time, it

gave me enough space to find myself and figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. I grew up in Ojai, a mere forty-minute drive from here. My parents didn’t argue much when I decided to study nearby. I think they were relieved that I didn’t plan to tag along with my boyfriend, Lewis, to Boston. My mom and dad adored Lewis, but they wanted their baby girl to stay close to home more than anything. I parked my car and opened my trunk to fetch a beach towel—it was necessary to have a beach towel and extra clothes with you at all times when you lived around here. With my purse and towel tucked under my arm, I trotted towards the shore and found a spot to lie out; somewhere not too close to the buzz of people, but somewhere not too far either because my imagination tended to run wild—I feared getting stabbed to death or being kidnapped. Weird really, but I blamed it on watching too many Bones and True Blood episodes. I made a blissful sigh before I spread myself out across my beach towel. The sun greeted my face and I basked in its delightful warmth. I loved the beach; it was the perfect escape from life. I wished that life was as easy as being here with the peaceful waves and the warm sand. I wished I could find the answer to my complicated situation with Carter. It was a good thing I was wearing a faded denim skirt with a

fitted, sleeveless cotton shirt because the sun’s rays were beaming down from a cloudless sky and I wanted to consume as much sun as I could before fall rolled in. My tan made my cornflower blue eyes more noticeable and I thought that it made me look much better. As much as I loved being golden-hued though, I would never get an artificial one from a tanning bed. I had nothing against people who used them; it was just that some of them went overboard and managed to look like an Oompa Loompa. I would so not look as good as an Oompa Loompa, so I’d rather stick to the real thing. My ringing phone brought me out of my reverie. Grabbing it, I checked who the caller was. Carter. Clearing my throat, I answered it, “Hey.” “Hey, I just saw Lindsey and she said you two had lunch. Why wasn’t I invited? I would have loved to dine with my two favorite girls,” he drawled and I couldn’t hold myself back from rolling my eyes. I’m your favorite girl, for now, I wanted to voice out, but held my tongue. “Yeah, she wanted to have some girl time. What’s up, Carter?” I wanted to sound bored and irritated, but my voice ended up sounding breathy.

“Just wondering what you’re up to ’cause I’m free for the rest of the afternoon. Feel like coming over to chill a bit?” His voice deepened when he said, ‘coming over.’ It was basically his comehither term for ‘let’s fuck.’ “Um, I don’t know about that, Carter,” I whispered. Sex would be a very bad idea. It would be like piling more shit on top of an already enormous pile. I wanted to kick myself—if I could—for falling for the man. I mean, come on, Emma! I scolded myself. Where the hell is your brain, huh? It was probably somewhat brain dead from mind-numbing orgasms. As much as I loved Lewis when we were together, I always wondered what it would be like to be with someone wild and unrestricted—someone without limits or boundaries—who didn’t have a care in the world. Carter fit the bill and I was sucked into his world the moment our eyes met. I was screwed; in more ways than one. Literally. He grunted on the other end, frustrated. “I haven’t seen you in two days, Em. TWO DAYS! This is the longest I haven’t seen you,” Carter started to sound irritated. I guess two days without sex could really make a man grumpy. “I’ve been… busy,” I said hesitantly, but he wasn’t buying the

crap I was spewing. “Busy? You’ve been busy? Get real, Em. We both know you haven’t been busy. Why don’t you come over? Maybe it’s high time we talk.” And here it is… Doomsday was here. I waited a beat or two before I replied, “I’ll see you in an hour.” Yeah, an hour would be enough time to come up with some kind of a plan and recharge my battery. Maybe. “In an hour and not a second longer, got it? If you keep hiding away from me, I will scour the entire campus to look for you.” He was heated. Carter was angry and his underlying threat was quite clear. My time was up and it was time to face the music and dance. “Got it,” I responded and quickly ended the call. I knew Carter had a mean temper. He wanted to see me pronto and I needed to show up. I didn’t doubt for a second that he would follow through with his threat. He was notorious for his bar fights and his road rage. One time, we were stopped at a stoplight and when the light turned green, the driver in front of us didn’t move because he was too caught up in his phone conversation. Carter didn’t even blink twice before he got out of his SUV, cussed the guy out and managed frighten him so badly, the man was on the verge of tears.

Yep, Carter had a problem with his temper, and I didn’t want to push his buttons further to see how far he’d take that temper of his.

“I can usually tell if a man is emotionally unavailable by my instant attraction to them.”

~Author Unknown

Two After another forty-five minutes, I decided it was time to leave. I gathered my belongings and headed out to see Carter. Carter had bought a four bedroom villa that overlooked the beach where his friends, Brody and Cooper, rented rooms from him. It was quite close to Main Street where the bars, clubs, restaurants and all types of shops were located. I parked my car just outside his house, killed the engine and took a deep breath. “Showtime,” I muttered under my breath as I opened my car door. The guys never locked the main door so I turned the doorknob and pushed the heavy, white door open. The house was actually quiet for the first time since I’d known the trio. They usually had a crowd of people lounging and hanging around. Where was everyone? “Good of you to finally show up!” Carter announced from atop the landing only wearing a pair of cargo shorts. His tanned, sculpted torso and abs were out on display and his dark hair had droplets of

water in it like he had just come out of the shower. I salivated like a bitch in heat. Fuck, this is not going as planned! “I’m five minutes early. What more do you want?” I asked, in a mere whisper. The emptiness of the house made my hushed tone quite loud. He took his time coming down the stairs, using his usual lazy, care-free swag as he walked towards me. It sucked! The man didn’t even have to try to look hot, he just was. Like air equaled breathing, water equaled drinking; Carter Mason equaled SEXing. It was quite absurd. I despised the fact that he held such power over me and was mystified as to how I had let that happen. He continued his lazy saunter until he was right before me, his almost bare-naked, glorious body stood only a foot away as he studied me quietly. “What more do I want, Emma?” he parroted my question back to me. “I want you to be honest.” He wanted honesty? Right, then I’d give it to him… somewhat. “I don’t think I can do this with you anymore,” I managed to whisper. His gaze was penetrating, never leaving my eyes. “Why? What’s changed? You were fine the last time we were together. If I recall correctly, you were more than fine. You were insatiable and didn’t want me to leave your side—you even followed me into the shower. What was it that you said? Oh right,

‘because you missed me.’ So, from that type of adoration to ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore,’ tell me, what’s changed?” My brows furrowed. Fuck! Dammit, was I really that pathetic the last time we were together? That was sickening. What do I tell him? I was panicking and couldn’t conjure any reason at the moment other than the real truth. I wasn’t a raving idiot, I was not going to confess my undying love and humiliate myself. “It’s just not working out, Carter.” God, that was the best I could do? I really sucked at this. He moved a little closer. “That’s not really telling me much, Em. Do you expect me to let you go,” he snapped his fingers, “just like that?” Well, yeah. “Sort of,” I uttered. I gasped as he moved closer. His masculine scent hit me like a brick. Fuck, my body was shaking and my senses were taking over. This is so bad, stop it, I scolded my lascivious body. “That’s where you’re wrong. This body,” the back of his forefinger grazed the tell-tale outline of my erect nipples, “responds to me. You may not notice the changes, but when you entered my home, these weren’t visible.” He pinched my nipple and I gasped at his crass boldness. “But the second I stood before you… your body betrayed you… it acknowledges the kind of power I have

over you.” So my nipples, had what… a Carter detector? I groaned. He moved in on me, his hand immediately went under my short denim skirt and he caressed the inside of my thighs as I stared at him wide-eyed. “Carter…” I hesitated, knowing full well where this was going. “Let’s stick to what we’re good at Emma and that’s indulging each other’s needs, hmmm?” His wet, hot tongue ran along the back of my ear to the base of my neck. Fuck! My entire body shivered and broke out in goose bumps. In the time it took me to process what was happening, he had squatted down and parted my legs. His expert finger pushed my thong aside and his tongue found my wet folds. Panting, I whispered, “Carter… someone might come back! We can’t do this out here for everyone to see!” I tried to be the voice of reason but hell… my traitorous body loved the feel of him; loved being with Carter like this again. Love totally sucked. Not only did it make you feel powerless, but it made you stupid, too. Carter’s tongue was heated and rushed then his finger found my hot entrance and toyed with it. Dammit, his gifted tongue was like a whirlpool, full of ferocious intensity and it most definitely sucked you in. It had the capability to pull me into its dark depths,

free-falling without a life raft to hang on to. My fingers found his dark hair and grabbed on to it while I moaned and writhed during his artful ministrations. He hooked my left leg over his shoulder, making me even more frenzied and incoherent. At that point, I could not have cared less if his friends walked in on us like that. I was past modesty and restraint. My body was tightening and my insides started to simmer from the brewing force of my orgasm. I was mere seconds away from convulsing when he stopped. God dang it! What now?! Carter unbuttoned his cargo pants and stood in the foyer butt naked. My beautiful Adonis, I thought as my eyes devoured the creature before me. His throbbing cock was gleamed in the sun’s rays that filtered through the windows. I licked my lips when I gazed at his sheer masculine beauty. The energy between us was charged, aroused with pure and potent sexual ardor. It was always like this with him, with us. It was just sex and more sex and nothing in between. No talks about the future. No hearts and butterflies, just as he had promised. My eyes looked deep into his… I love you, I thought. He didn’t even bother with kissing or words. Since my legs were parted already, he jammed his cock inside me with haste. Damn, my body exulted at the very feel of him. Carter’s passionate

fucking bordered on fervid, senseless mating. He had a way of setting me ablaze, burning me up with heat and need for him. Him alone. I hooked my leg up on his thigh as he pummeled deeper inside me. His hands gripped my hips as he hammered me into oblivion. I gripped his shoulder when he lifted me off the floor and roughly pushed me against the wall as if I weighed nothing. With each powerful, hard thrust of his hips, my mind shattered into euphoric ecstasy. “Caaaarteeeer!” I screamed over and over again. My screams vibrated throughout the house, maybe even the entire neighborhood, but I didn’t care. What mattered was the hard pounding I was getting. I panted as my orgasm convulsed through my body, tightening around his thick cock. My vaginal walls squeezed the length of his manhood, driving him even further with an intense need for completion, his release. His climax was a heavenly act in itself. The feel of his rigid body, the moment he screamed my name when he unloaded his seed inside me. He grunted and grumbled something incoherent. My mind was blank as he pulsated inside me. With another final push of his cock, he lowered me back onto the marbled floor. He buried his head deeply into the crook of my neck as I

listened to the heaviness of his breathing and fought the urge to cry—from loving him so much and wanting something I could never have. Doom and gloom. I tried to move, but he wouldn’t let me. Both of his hands were securely planted against my fuzzy head, his cock impaling me and preventing me from moving. My blue eyes searched his darkened depths, but I couldn’t read them. “There will be no talks of you leaving me, Em. The only way this ends is when I say it ends. You got that?” Bossy. Domineering. I wanted to just punch him. I got that, loud and clear, mister. It was pretty apparent that this relationship I had with him changed the moment I fell in love with the jackass and I couldn’t keep hurting anymore. “Lewis and I are thinking of getting back together,” I blurted out, a technical lie. True, Lewis wanted to try again, but I never wanted to. At this point, though, I’d do and say anything to get away from this insensitive man. “I beg your pardon?” he uttered in his most deadly tone. He moved closer and I held myself back from moaning. I didn’t care if I made him angry anymore. I was past caring. “You heard me. Don’t make me say it again.” “Was this your goodbye fuck then?” He nudged his hips

forward, making me unconsciously moan. His cock was semi-hard after our session, but I could feel it growing rapidly to its full length and girth. OH. MY. “You’re the one who started it, but sure, if you want to call it that. You can un-sheath yourself from me now,” I ordered as his wicked eyes twinkled. “Oh no, my luminous beauty, I have yet to satiate myself before I can un-sheath myself.” He smiled as he unceremoniously picked me up and carried me up the flight of stairs and into the master bedroom. Stupid me, I hadn’t voiced a word because his dangerous demeanor excited the hell out of me. I was hopeless, wasn’t I? ~E~

After two hours of long ardent lovemaking, he finally relented. What a blissful two hours they were, too. Carter licked, kissed and fucked me to make a point. He was harsh and tender at the same time. His dark eyes never left me. Whatever was going through that beautiful head of his, I would never know. We lied naked against the sheets and both stared blankly at the ceiling. He didn’t even bother holding me like he usually did after

sex. It was break-up sex, I knew, but it still hurt all the same. His distance hurt me. It was just sex to him—nothing more. I guess, a small part of me hoped he’d beg me not to end this and show me some kind of emotion. Carter sat up and planted his feet on the floor. His rippled back looked so enticing. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and trail kisses along his spine, but my legs, which were still slightly parted, were vibrating and quivering after being stretched and used to capacity for the past couple of hours. Not once did he kiss me today; it was not really his thing, but he had obliged me a few kisses here and there before. I sighed with sadness; the heaviness on my chest never left me the entire time I was with him. He suddenly stood up and headed to the bathroom, but stopped mid-stride. Without looking at me, he spoke, “You can gather your things and go now, Em. Thanks for the great sex. I’ll see you around.” His voice was curt, deadpan, uncaring. Thanks for the great sex? Mother Fucker! The nerve! Why couldn’t he just say, “I’ll see you around?” Cold, but I’d rather take that than him thanking me for great sex. Fuck, I felt like a cheap tart. I couldn’t even muster a good comeback because I was beyond hurt and in utter shock. I mean, I knew he was an insensitive prick, but I hoped to have a civilized parting.

Stupid, stupid asshat! Hot, salty tears threatened to spill from my azure orbs and it took all of my inner strength to keep them at bay. The stupid prick didn’t deserve my tears. Even one drop would be too much to bestow upon the horrid rat! I shot out of bed and immediately searched for my discarded clothing. “FUCK!!! Where the hell is my underwear?” I screeched as I scampered around, hunting down my tiny thong. Ugh, the miniscule piece was on the foot of the bed, ripped to shreds. Huh, I didn’t recall them being torn, I thought, annoyed. I’d die if he came out of the shower and found me still waiting here, pondering about him, about us, like a good little rabbit. Not a chance in hell! I haughtily left his house and slammed the door so hard I was surprised it didn’t come off its hinges. With my gloom and doom demeanor, I drove back to the dorms. UCSB was not only known for its good programs, but was also notoriously known across the nation as a top party school. Oh yeah, I planned to hit the party circuit hardcore, not tonight, though. Tonight, I planned to lick my wounds, recharge and shuffle the riotous order that was racking my brain. I had dumped him, hadn’t I? Then, why did it feel like he was the one who dumped me? Damn him! That farewell parting sealed it

for him. I guess you could say he won. Carter was insufferable. News of my break-up with Carter would spread like a bad wildfire on a windy California day. The women would rejoice once more. Their famed stud was back on the market. I’d have to mentally prepare myself for what that would entail for me. I’d have to watch him find his new fuck buddy amongst the onslaught of awaiting women who wanted a piece of our school’s hottest athlete. Carter Mason was now single and ever so ready to mingle. Would my heart be able to bear it when he found someone new?

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

~William Shakespeare

Three “Rise and shine princess!” Lindsey pulled the down comforter off me. I groaned. Not today, Lindsey! I can’t bear to face the world. Let me just wallow for a few more days, I silently begged my friend. “Leave me alone, Linds!” I turned the other way, curling up with my favorite feather pillow. “Suit yourself.” I heard a thud on my side table. The smell of coffee hit my sleepy senses. Oh, darn it. She knew me well; I couldn’t resist my morning cup of Joe. Evil, evil woman. Lindsey sat on the side of my bed and squeezed my arm. “The news is out babe. You’re officially axed! Now we should get you in good condition to come party tonight, bueno?” I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Her words sunk in and my gut started to churn. Carter and I were no more. Finito.

Kaput. Dead. I guessed I should have been thankful that I got out of that relationship in one piece? But it didn’t feel like it. “What time is it?” I sat up and greedily grabbed the hot coffee. My palms cradled it as I took a cautious sip. I smiled when I saw Lindsey wearing her usual house garb; a skimpy thong and a long fitted cami. “It’s almost noon. The girls plan to head out later tonight and party in Hollywood. I already booked us a suite at Chateau Marmont for our little getaway.” She winked with a mischievous smile plastered on her face. “You’re on, lady!” I tried to sound excited. Just because Carter Mason and I were done, didn’t mean I was going to let him push me into the darkness again. Maybe going out of town would be the best solution. “Good, ‘cause I’m not letting you mope around here while my stupid brother runs around town looking all chummy and unaffected,” Lindsey muttered and left my room. I bet he was, I thought angrily. Carter wouldn’t be known as a notorious playboy if he weren’t an insensitive jerk. With a heavy heart, I got up and headed to the bathroom to shower. I wasn’t going to let him see me hurt. I was going to try to

live my life like he didn’t matter. It would be hard, but I could do it. The old soppy and nostalgic Emma was gone. That Emma ended last night. It was Saturday and I decided to treat myself to a mani/pedi at the nearest spa. If we were hitting the joints of Hollywood tonight, I couldn’t appear raggedy and have that I’m broken look’ hanging on me. Carter certainly didn’t deserve that. Even though my heart made a huge mistake falling for a man like Carter Mason, I certainly would not allow my pride to be trampled by him. At least in that, I got to have a choice. Carter was not the only man on this planet and I was quite positive I would get over him. Life was about stages and phases. I wasn’t going to dwell on my mistakes. Didn’t we have to kiss tons of frogs before we ended up with the prince? By six, I was ready to go. I was wearing a black, short, frilly skirt that I matched with a red, skintight, halter-top. I finished my ensemble with my favorite Louboutin lace booties. There was nothing much I could do with my short, blonde hair so I left it alone. For my make-up, I went for the smoky-eyed look and swiped soft pink lipstick and lip gloss on. I used my pinky to touch up a spot on the outside of my lip that had a little smudge of color. Eyeing myself from side to side I mumbled, “I suppose this will do.”

“You’re a knockout, Em. No need to double check it,” Lindsey spoke from behind me. I grinned at my friend, who I could always count on to bring my spirits up. “The other girls already left in a separate car. I thought it would be best that we drive there by ourselves and meet them at the restaurant. They tend to go a little crazy when we’re all together and I don’t want to have any fights tonight.” “The girls” consisted of Amber, Trista and Cece. They were cool party friends, but Cece had a jealous streak, and Linds and Cece went way back from high school. “Uh, thank goodness. I don’t think I can deal with you and Cece sparring with words all night,” I said, agreeing with her. Oh, and did I mention Cece had a thing for Carter? Yeah, she didn’t seem too keen on me either. However, Amber and Trista were pretty cool and fun to hang out with. Lindsey introduced me to their little group and I became friends with them, too; well, except for Cece, of course. We took Lindsey’s BMW X5 and joined the chaos that was the 101 Freeway. It was Saturday and traffic was usually dreadful on the weekends. What should be an hour drive to Los Angeles could take two or three hours. “We should’ve left earlier and checked in at the hotel rather than drive at this hour,” Lindsey, frustrated, agreed with my thoughts.

Why didn’t we think of that ingenious idea earlier? I picked up her iPod and scrolled through her songs. “Play ‘Ooh Ooh Baby’ by Britney,” she requested with excitement. Another revelation, we jammed to Britney Spears. I mean, Britney did have some good party songs, Toxic anyone? As much as I loved my mainstream pop music, I liked the ‘trip-hop’ genre and lots of alternative rock more. I checked my phone for the umpteenth time with disappointment. Sullen, I leaned back and closed my eyes. What did I expect? Carter wasn’t the groveling type. He didn’t chase women. It was the other way around. It took us an hour and forty-five minutes to arrive in L.A. A feeling of excitement rushed through me as we exited Sunset Boulevard. The plan was for us to dine at a famous sushi restaurant and go clubbing at the Greystone Manor Nightclub then check-in at the hotel after. Lindsey left her car with the valet outside the famed restaurant and I waited as she joined me. “Damn, Linds. I didn’t realize your dress was so revealing!” She just waved her hand carelessly at me. Her dress was super tight and had one of those diamond shaped-cut holes in the middle, exposing her belly button. If Cece would have worn this dress, she would’ve looked like a tart, but on Lindsey, it looked amazing; she looked like one of those snobby

fashionistas. She carried herself with great certainty and a classy air of which I was jealous. I honestly didn’t think she had any insecurities. I applauded her for that. Sometimes, it rubbed off on me and I loved it! The girls were already seated inside the restaurant and it didn’t take long for us to get rowdy. Dinner took about two hours and even Cece was playing nice and being civilized. It was a relief to see the other side of her; her bitchiness was starting to bore the hell out of me. By the time we got to the nightclub, we were in high spirits. The club was a celebrity hotspot and the line to get in snaked around the building, but thanks to Amber’s connections, we didn’t have to wait in it. Our fake I.D.’s weren’t even checked. It was almost midnight and the place was starting to get crowded. We were seated on one of the lounge’s damask covered couches. The club was decorated in a neo-Renaissance theme that had a gothic-like feel. It was like the old and new Hollywood meshing together. The outcome was outstanding; it was stylishly posh and had a decadent atmosphere. I studied the place in wonderment. The décor alone probably cost millions. It was luxurious and sexy. Even the people here were sexy and beautiful. What did I expect? This was Hollywood territory after all. There was a commotion on the other side of the room. Trista

blushingly whispered that Bass Cole was here. Everyone became excited, even Lindsey. I just shook my head at Cece’s overeager enthusiasm. The poor woman looked like she was hyperventilating. I could just tell what was going through that head of hers. Okay, maybe I was a little piqued. Okay. Total lie. I was super psyched! Fucking Bass Cole in the house! Gah! Who wouldn’t be? Bass Cole was one of Hollywood’s most sought after movie stars and an everlasting heartthrob. His movie career blew up a couple years ago when he made one of those vampire movies and he’s been a household name ever since. I admit, I saw the movie a few times, but don’t remember much of it. Was he a good actor? I didn’t know. Was the movie any good? No clue either. The only thing that stuck with me was Bass Cole was a hot piece of yummy handsomeness. All blond hair, tanned skin and the most striking blue eyes I’d ever seen were all I could conjure in my head. That about summed it up, I believed. Pathetic, wasn’t it? “God, I have to meet him! I love his movies and he’s just so hot!” Cece squealed and started to fan her cheeks furiously. Uhm, I was sure she was going to try in earnest to get past all the people around him; good luck with that! Cece loved attention and she would do anything to be in the spotlight. She was, after all, an aspiring actress and she actually had a part as an extra a few

times on some TV shows, but nothing major. I once joked that if she auditioned for Playboy, she would be instantly hired. I remembered her murderous glare when I made that statement. I mean, come on! Cece has 34 DD implants so when you spoke to her, all you saw were those big, hard jugs. We were served a bucket filled with a large selection of bottled alcoholic beverages. Trista opened the bottles and started to mix drinks for everyone. By the looks of things, we were all going to get hammered tonight. Trista handed us her concoction. Amber stood up. “I just want to make this toast to my newly, single friend, Emma. No guy is worth moping over, baby!” she screamed through the blaring music. Oh, dearest! Did we need to make everyone here aware of that? The rest of them hooted in agreement. “CHEERS!!!” I cringed when I tasted the concoction Trista made. Holy crap, this shit was deadly! I wasn’t planning on puking my way out of the club tonight, thank you. Placing the potent mix back on the table, I glanced at my selections. I chose a bottle of champagne and poured a glass for myself. I made a satisfying sigh when the bubbles worked their magic. Light, fizzy bubbles I could do, I thought contently. Trista and Amber went dancing and Cece left to go manhunt. It

was a typical girls’ night out. Except Lindsey was stuck to her phone. Not typical. “Brody again?” I asked just loud enough for her to hear me. She nodded. “He’s pissed off at me. He’s drunk-texting.” She waved the screen at me. I mouthed an “Oh” and she merely shrugged. She looked a bit bothered. Maybe she felt something more than she let on? I wondered. I hate those. I used to do that a lot… with Carter. I would send hateful and spiteful messages and he would always end up at my doorstep. I would open the door and he would just barge in there and take me to my room. It was crazy, but at the same time, I lived for those exhilarating moments of madness. Amber came back with two cute guys. Trista, on the other hand, grabbed my hand and ushered me to the dance floor. I glanced back at Lindsey to invite her to come with us, but she was talking to one of the men. The club was playing some popular dance music and it didn’t take long for Trista and I to start swaying and dancing to the beat. Trista leaned over and yelled in my ear. “I’m glad you came out with us tonight. I’m sorry about what happened with Carter, but you know, it’s Carter.” She smiled. Yup, it was Carter. No need to emphasize what that meant. “Yeah, good riddance! It was starting to become mundane.” I

fibbed with great confidence. Trista smiled; the lights making her red hair and green eyes light up. I didn’t think I had ever seen Trista sad or angry. She was always so damn cheery. How could anyone be so fucking cheery all the time? That must be exhausting, surely? When my favorite song came on, I let loose and danced my hips and ass off. Tonight was going to be my night! I thought ferociously. Fuck Carter Mason. Fuck his hot tight ass that made me drool. Fuck his stupid swagger and sexy smirk. No more! I screamed in my head as I danced with my eyes closed, feeling the beat vibrate through my body. My breath caught when I felt a big hand capture my side. I immediately tensed. OH NO. DID CARTER FOLLOW US HERE? “Can I dance with you?” a deep voice asked from behind me —a hot, masculine drawl that made my toes curl and my insides melt and quiver. OH. My eyes snapped open.

“Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.”

~Randall G. Leighton

Four I hastily turned around and found the one and only Bass Cole staring me down with his azure eyes. I stared back, star-struck and dumbfounded. With my mouth wide open, I thought wildly, Bass Cole is right in front of me! TALKING. TO. ME. Wow, just wow! His sheer beauty totally caught me off guard. His movies didn’t do him justice. My heated gaze landed on his soft, full pink lips. Does he bite just as good as it looked in that movie? I wondered. His lips looked tempting. He was tall; about six foot three. His dirty blond, bed-head hair looked so deliciously sexy. Bass Cole was armed with the most sultry, lazy smile I had ever encountered, topped with some fucking adorable dimples. I was drooling on the spot. My, I’m tongue-tied. Can anyone be allowed to be this arrestingly beautiful? I stood frozen, not comprehending what the fuck Bass Cole

just asked me. Holy shit! He was even more perfect up close. Get it together before you embarrass yourself! I chided my brain to fully function. I was still reeling, but recovered a bit from the initial shock. Not saying a word, I spun around and held his hand that was clutching my hip. My soft hand held his large, masculine one. The touch sent electric currents up my arm. God, I’m dying here! I thought as Bass firmly held me as we danced in synchronization, grinding and swaying erotically. His hand tightened on me as his free one started to caress my other side. Goodness, the man moves in quickly! And man, doesn’t he feel perfect. Argh! Fuck you, Carter! I thought as I danced with Bass. With his heated body grinding against mine, I got a whiff of his cologne and wanted to die on the spot. You see, I had a thing for a man’s scent. I hated how some men used crazy strong cologne or a strong repulsive deodorant—it was a total turnoff. Bass Cole smelled like… well… perfection? I knew you couldn’t smell perfection, but I knew if you could, it would smell just like him. It was pure masculine with a hint of… citrus? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that it was an intoxicating blend of pure heady perfection. When the song ended, I hesitantly moved away. Time to let

go of my erotic fantasy, I begrudgingly thought as I gave him a great big smile and a little wave. “It was great to meet you. Have a lovely night!” I called out to his taken aback expression. Bass immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me close. “Wait. Do you want to join me and my friends at my table?” he invited, gesturing where his friends—who had all witnessed our intimate impromptu dance—were located. Err, no. As hot as he was, flirting with Bass would not be the greatest idea. I knew I wanted to have fun tonight but Bass Cole… was, well… Bass Cole! It was rather overwhelming. “I’m good. Thank you though.” I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t budge. “Okay, well can I invite myself to join you then?” Bass gave me another lazy smile. God, his smile was freaking blinding! It was simply melting my resolve. “If you want to, I guess,” I replied, unsure. What he did next seriously made me smile and tingle all over. “I’m Bass Cole.” He gave me his hand to shake. Really? I was sure he knew everyone in the club knew who he was. But still, he was being nice. Darn, this guy was a total charmer. “Emma Anderson.” When I gave him my hand, I had expected him to shake it, but instead, he took it to his lips and kissed it. I gasped at the mere brush of his soft lips.

Easy there, Lucian the hot vampire! I swooned. No wonder this man was one of Hollywood’s finest! He went in for the kill without qualm. Bass Cole’s eyes looked entertained. I was sure this was quite the norm for him. Unexpectedly, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I want you, Emma Anderson.” I swallowed, hard. Wow. He was really, really forward! I supposed things were done fast-paced around this town. I wasn’t accustomed to it and I didn’t plan to start tonight. “I’m not going to have sex with you, you know. If that’s what you’re after, you’re going to have to look elsewhere,” I said with all seriousness and I meant it. His eyes gleamed with pure amusement. “As much as that thought appeals to me right now, Emma Anderson, I don’t have sex on first dates either.” His lazy smile got wider at my confused expression. Huh? A date? “What date? We just met. This is obviously not a first date!” “Oh, but it will be, Emma. It definitely will be,” Bass whispered in my ear. The thumping music immediately vanished around me, his touch and voice dominated my senses. He softly chuckled at my frozen state. “So, want to introduce me to your friends?” He

pointed a finger at my table and I saw that my friends were gaping at us with avid curiosity. He was coming on to me so hard I barely had time to think. Not a very good sign, if you asked me. “Sure. I know someone who will be very interested to meet you.” I thought of Cece and how badly she wanted to meet him. Maybe those two could get together. Bass certainly wanted to hook-up with someone tonight. Why not Cece? With my hand still intertwined with his, Bass guided us towards my table. When we got there, all the girls were giggly and excited to meet him. “Guys, this is Bass, as all of you know already.” My heart sped up when he squeezed my hand. “This is Cece, Trista, Amber and my good friend, Lindsey.” “Hello, ladies. Glad to make your acquaintance.” Bass gave them his mega-watt smile and Cece and Trista sighed. I looked at all of their faces, a little embarrassed and a little amused by them. Bass definitely had fans at this table. I slid inside the booth and Bass followed suit. Cece, who was sitting across from us, got out of her seat and sat next to Bass. Here goes Operation Shameless Cece, I thought amusingly. I thought these two would get on just fine. ‘Player meets player’ equaled perfect harmony.

I tried to pull my hand away from his grasp, but he clutched it tighter. What was it with this man? I needed some sort of privacy— even if it was just for a second. Cece was talking animatedly about her plans of being a movie star to Bass and I caught Amber rolling her eyes; bored from listening to Cece’s blabbering. Amber immediately got up and took Trista with her; the guys they met earlier were outside smoking and they were heading out to find them. I wished I was that brazen when it came to men, but I was known to get shy at the most uncertain times. Maybe it was because I wasn’t really that experienced. I mean, apart from Lewis and Carter, I hadn’t dated or had sex with anyone else. Lindsey nudged my arm. “Total upgrade from my brother. I approve.” She winked. “You’re crazy. I’m not hooking up with an actor who has a playboy reputation. Don’t you think your brother traumatized me enough?” I quipped back, just loud enough for her to hear me. A cell phone flashed brightly on the damask couch and I saw Brody’s name on the screen. I glanced at Lindsey, who was nervously biting her lip. “Doll, Brody’s here. Outside. He wants to talk. He’s being very persistent and I just agreed to see him. The hotel room at the Chateau is under both our names so you can check in anytime; that is, if you get back before I do. Call me

anytime, okay?” She leaned back and looked anxious. With my free arm, I gave her a quick hug and kiss. “Give him a chance. He’s a good guy, babe,” I urged. I wanted her to see reason, but something was holding her back. “It doesn’t matter.” She got up and gave Bass and Cece a quick goodbye and sauntered towards the exit. I glanced back at the two people who were left with me as they chatted animatedly. I almost choked on a laugh when I saw Cece push her fierce boobs forward, giving Bass a great view of her rack. The two seemed to be getting friendly. They even shared a laugh or two when I was talking to Lindsey. Maybe they are hitting it off. Time to move it, I supposed. I didn’t want to see them in action. Why’s that? I thought you didn’t want Bass? my fucking thoughts countered. Who knew really? What I did know, though, was that I didn’t want to watch it happen. Bass Cole was my wet dream come to life and I had gladly handed him to Cece—or she jumped on the opportunity more like it. Given my circumstances, I couldn’t just throw caution to the wind and sleep with Bass, as he had hinted at earlier. It felt too early for me; I needed a time-out. Imagine my frustration when he wouldn’t let go of my hand when I tried to pull away, yet again. “Bass, I have to go to the

bathroom.” “Let me take you,” he suggested. I looked at him like he had grown horns. “No, thanks. I’m good.” He let go of my hand and I instantly scrambled to my feet. Since I really didn’t need to use the restroom, I opted to seek out Amber and Trista. Why did I feel the need to excuse myself from Bass’ presence? Well, it could possibly be that he was way too much of everything for my palette. Sure, he was drop dead gorgeous, but hadn’t I just gotten out of a hot mess? When I finally found the girls, they were already engrossed in conversation with their chosen men. I would have felt like an intruder if I had joined their cozy tête-à-tête. Without Lindsey as my side-kick, I felt like a fifth wheel. I sighed, feeling lost and defeated. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. Maybe it was a bad decision to come out tonight, I thought sullenly. “Hey, why are you all sad?” a man’s voice asked, a stranger. I counted a few times before I fluttered my eyes open. An attractive, dark male was smiling down at me. I lifted my brow. “What makes you think I’m sad, stranger?” He gestured his palm over his face. “You have this look about you. Guy problems, isn’t it?” HUH? Was I that obvious to

onlookers? I really am officially PATHETIC , I thought with disgust. “Possibly,” I shot back. What was the point in lying? Didn’t they say it was easier to talk to strangers about your problems because you’d never see them again? “I think that you’re too caught up with your emotions and you can’t see the truth behind the façade. I think you should talk to him and clear the air, but once you do, a set of forbidding forces will be working against you. Another man or two will seek for your love and attention. Be prepared; I am warning you. Your heart’s pure, but know that this world sets out to taint the purest ones. Be strong and remember never to lose faith in yourself once it happens,” the dark stranger voiced out grimly. What in the world is he talking about? How the hell did he know these things? Did people randomly say these things to strangers? So freaky and odd. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I warily eyed the dark man who seemed to be full of knowledge. “Maybe I do. I’m a psychic. It’s what I do for a living and I can tell what’s bothering you. I advise that you talk to him and go prepared. Your life is about to change; it will knock you back a few times before you see the truth. The man who will wholeheartedly deserve your love is the man who will be there at your lowest, the

one who loves you in all your shades—the light, the hued and the dark.” He gently squeezed my arm and left. What? After all that shit load of crap, he left? My mouth was gaping open as I watched him walk away and join the mass of the dancing crowd. What the hell just happened? Were psychics even real? Wasn’t Miss Cleo a big hoax? She was… but that didn’t mean they didn’t really exist… Weird, this entire evening was getting so freaking weird! It was like being in a low budget horror film, with me starring in the role of the unsuspecting victim about to be eaten by a zombie. That was it! Surely this weirdness was a tell-tale sign to ‘get the fuck out of here?’ I didn’t want to be eaten by zombies. Maybe it was time to get a move on and go back to the hotel. I could just nurse my broken heart for another night watching The Notebook. I felt totally drained and depleted. Resigned, I weaved my way towards the entrance of the building. There was a heavy crowd tonight and it was difficult to move past the throng of people without bumping into them. I almost sighed with relief when I saw the exit, but a strong arm gripped me and tugged me into a darkened corner. “What the fu—” I halted mid-sentence when Bass turned me around and placed a finger on my lips, hushing me. I swallowed. I

bit back my tongue from snaking out and licking his finger. His close proximity wasn’t helping my jumbled brain. His eyes darkened as he studied my lips. Shit, he’s killing me here . His thumb grazed my bottom lip and I held back the urge to wet my suddenly dry puckers. His breathing hitched and when he did speak, it was raspy and seductive. “Call me crazy—call me anything you like—but I want to get to know you, Emma. Give me the rest of the night to get to know you. The moment my eyes spied you tonight, I was mesmerized and I can’t let you walk away.” My eyes looked into his, seeking answers, seeking reason. “I don’t know about that, Bass.” Was this about sex again? Hadn’t I declined him? “Tonight, just tonight… that’s all I ask, Emma. I know you barely know me, but I give you my word, I will not do anything you don’t want me to do, I promise,” Bass assured me. He would be an honorable gentleman? Hmm. Was I crazy? This hot movie star wanted to get to know me and here I was contemplating whether I should agree or not. What was wrong with me?! “Why? What do you have in mind?” I asked, needing assurance. I was still mending my broken heart. I couldn’t possibly

let loose and be with another man straight away, even if it was Bass Cole who wanted me to lose it with him. “All I want to do is talk and enjoy your company, nothing more.” The heartthrob even managed to look desperate. Damn, he was a good actor. “Fine, as long as you keep your promise, okay? No sex of any kind or shit will turn very ugly,” I warned him, but he just gave me his mega-watt smile. “Thank you, Emma Anderson. I promise you won’t regret this.” His finger traced my bottom lip again, ever so slowly. Shove me in the burning furnace, why don’t you? “You better,” I croaked back. His gentle brush made me a little breathless. Wasn’t I in love with Carter? Then, why did Bass make me feel like this and make me forget that Carter existed? Carter Mason. He was possibly somewhere in Santa Barbara… quite possibly nestled in between a woman’s legs. My thoughts were diffused as Bass held me tighter. He pressed his hard muscled body against mine. His delicious scent overpowered me, making me think of his skin, his taste and those unforgettable lips. My whole body shivered from being this close to him. “Exquisite beauty,” Bass rasped out, staring at me with dilated

eyes. Slowly, his hand caressed my neck and jaw with soft gentle strokes. It was driving me senseless with want and need. His touch utterly seared me; my skin was on high alert and sensitive to his touch. Oh, fucking hell, I freaked. I gulped down what little saliva I had when he pressed against me, his face next to mine. “I told you we would have our first date tonight,” he whispered intoxicatingly into my ear. His hot breath brought a soft moan from my lips. Dear Almighty, what have I gotten myself into?

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”

~Herman Hesse

Five Bass was on his phone when we emerged from the club, but he stayed close to me with his strong arm holding my hips. A black Escalade pulled up in front of us almost immediately and a few cameras flashed out of nowhere, nearly blinding me. Paparazzi were everywhere. “Bass, who’s your date tonight? She’s hot!” a guy asked and flashed his camera at us. “Good choice tonight, Bass. Is she fresh meat?” another one from the annoying goodbye party asked. “Bass!” someone yelled at the top of his lungs. Christ. “Bass Cole, over here! Is she your new girlfriend?” another man asked. A few security men came over and ushered us towards the waiting SUV. Who would have thought that getting into a vehicle a few feet away would take forever? I was relieved once I got in the SUV. Once inside, Bass

profusely apologized. “Sorry I didn’t warn you about the paparazzi. They can be very obtrusive sometimes. I should’ve prepared you for that.” “It’s all right. I mean, you’re a celebrity; that comes with the territory, I guess,” I mumbled back to him. “Where do you want me to take you, Sir?” the chauffer asked. “Just take me back to my place, Lou. I need to pick up my car.” “Right away, Sir,” Lou replied and focused on the traffic. Shit, we’re going to his house to get his car. Shit. I had no fucking clue where this night was heading. I certainly didn’t expect to end up with a fucking celebrity, let alone with Bass Cole of all men! Hell, I was super nervous. With the leather seat and my short dress, I could feel my legs start to sweat. Bass’ cell phone was constantly ringing and beeping. How did he live his life like that? It was disconcerting. “Hey, Turner!” I heard him say as I watched the passing cars before me. “No, dude, can’t join the crowd. I’m with Emma.” I smiled at the way he said my name. He sounded like he’d known me for a while and not just a couple of hours. I could just imagine this Turner dude asking, ‘Who the heck is Emma?’ because Bass replied, “My date for the evening. Now, if you don’t mind, go hassle someone else. Gotta go. Bye.”

“Are you okay?” he murmured as he moved closer, not touching me, but close enough that I could feel the heat of his body. “I don’t know. I’m thinking ‘what the fuck’ right now,” I answered him with honesty. He chuckled at my retort. “Try to relax. I won’t let you down,” Bass promised with seriousness. I muttered ‘uhhmm’ and reverted back to looking through the glass absentmindedly. He was silent the rest of the ride and I was quite thankful that he was. I needed to gather my thoughts. Lou drove up a long winding driveway and stopped in front of an impressive house made almost entirely of glass. When he opened my door for us to step out, I suddenly felt anxious. I am so out of my league here, I thought with a moment of insanity. When Lou bid us goodnight and left, Bass held my arm and pulled me towards his home. Once he managed to open the door, the lights immediately flickered to life. Wow, I thought as I took in my surroundings. An entire glass wall panel was made into a waterfall. The open space was done elegantly in black, white and silver with cerulean blue accents that meshed quite chicly. It was all very masculine and I was impressed. “I want to tell you that your house is gorgeous, but you

probably hear that all the time,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you. I do, but it’s a first from you. So, it counts.” With his arm around my waist, he nudged me forward. My heels echoed loudly against the black marbled floor. “Come on, I want to show you the view from the patio.” The view before me was simply amazing. Situated on a hilltop, the bright lights of Los Angeles sprawled before our eyes, vast and mysterious. It was utterly captivating. The famous Hollywood sign could be seen in the distance. Magnificent, was all I could think. My eyes took in the sight before me with great fascination. “It’s marvelous, isn’t it?” he asked from behind me. I merely nodded in agreement. It was truly majestic. Bass cleared his throat and his dark, toe-curling voice asked, “You’re a new guest in my home, Emma Anderson. What can I get you for refreshments?” “Red wine and water, please.” Bass smiled lazily. “Right away, Miss.” Charming, just charming… and he was disturbing my lucidity. I followed him further inside the house and watched as he moved about his impressive kitchen. I leaned over the island as he gathered my drinks. He was nice to look at and I couldn’t seem to drag my eyes away from him. Okay, I conceded. He was more than nice to look at—he was epic. I could look at his smoldering eyes and his lazy smiles all night long.

“So, where did Cece go?” I lightly inquired. Did they exchange numbers? I wouldn’t put it past Cece. I caught him hide back a smile. Goodness, that smile of his… Shit, why was it that I felt the urge to just jump on him and kiss him? Wow, I was really crushing on him big time. “I knew what you were doing, you know. I have to tell you that I feel insulted—truly and deeply insulted—that you would ditch me and hand me over to someone else, but you weren’t that slick.” Bass shook his head, smiling. “I caught you at the right moment.” He made an emphasis of the word ‘caught.’ Ha! If only… Bass handed me a bottle of water then opened a bottle of red wine and took out two wine glasses. Such a yummy, fascinating specimen to look at… “Whoops. Thought it was a match made in Heaven,” I jested back at his grinning face. “Not even close. Not. Even. Close,” he murmured as he left for the patio, barefoot. I followed him and watched as he placed the items on the table and turned on the huge outdoor marbled fireplace. He then went back inside to get something else. I walked towards the rattan chaise lounge and rested my aching feet. The ambiance around here was getting cozy and downright

romantic. Bass Cole, a true romantic? I wished, but I guessed that acting had taught him a thing or two about romance. This was a step more than what Carter had ever shown me. I should just bask in it and not over-think it. My phone rang inside my purse and I instantly reached for it. Maybe I shouldn’t have because I gasped when I saw who my caller was. Carter Mason’s name was flashing manically at me. After a few more flashes, it stopped. I had nine missed calls and two text messages from Carter. Curious, I hastily opened my messages. Carter: Where the fuck are you? Great, so now he’s worried? Carter: Cece just posted a video on Facebook of you and some celebrity guy dancing. What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck was I thinking? You have got to be kidding me! Carter: Pick. The. Fuck. Up!!!!! Bastard! I didn’t even bother responding to his stupid texts. A big part of me was delighted that he was affected by this. What girl wouldn’t be? It was a big slap in his face. Did he really think I would sit back and cry over him after how he treated me the

last time I saw him? How he didn’t even have the decency to look me in the eye when he left me bedraggled and naked on his bed? It took him, what? Like a whole three minutes to fucking ditch me for a shower after he came? Prick. No! Carter Mason was history. He was, wasn’t he? Then why did I feel a sudden pang of sadness? My thoughts of Carter went on hiatus when Bass came out with a tray of food and placed it on the table. It consisted of fruits, brie and crackers, cold cuts, black and green olives, cherry tomatoes, dark and milk chocolates, a slice of strawberry cheesecake and chocolate cake, and a bag of Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream chips. I laughed. “This is a very interesting mix you’ve got here, Bass.” He blushed and placed his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t know what you wanted so, I, uh, guessed.” He really blushed! Maybe he wasn’t the playboy the tabloids portrayed him to be? Didn’t they like to exaggerate to get more sales? Amused, I graciously thanked him as he handed me a glass of wine. He sat on the larger rattan outdoor couch to my left. Leaning back, he popped a cherry tomato in his mouth. So fucking hot, I thought and quickly looked away, a bit bothered.

“So… what do you want to talk about Bass?” “You, anything and everything about you.” His magnetic gaze studied me. My throat went dry as I felt the heated scrutiny of his blue eyes. God, help me. Why did this man affect me so much? I just met him for Pete’s sake! I took a careful sip of the wine and savored the smoothness as it went down before I went on. “Let’s see, I’m a college student at UCSB, major undecided, for now. I love cheesy movies and have a thing for athletes. I get emotional—especially a week or two before my period. I treasure those who are dear to me and eject the people who aren’t. I stock up all of my fortune cookies until I have over twenty of them and eat them all in one sitting. I come from a loving home so I’m not emotionally crippled in that sense. The only issues I have with my parents are their persistent nagging for me to become a doctor. We have a family cat named Tumble, who I am chronically allergic to, but I love all the same. I have a ten-year-old pillow that I wash constantly, mind you, but can’t let go of. And yes, it is a tad ratty, but I just can’t part with it.” He chuckled. “Ratty pillow, emotional, undecided and allergic to cats, gotcha. And you have a thing for athletes? Say, David Beckham?” “Uh, who doesn’t have a thing for him?” I countered back, aghast at his question.

Becks was the prime hotness. Show me a single soul who didn’t pant and ogle at those delicious Armani ads, especially at that sexy package of his? Right? Exactly my point. “So, actors… you don’t have a thing for?” he asked, his eyes peeked at me through his lashes, smoldering like the hot man that he was! His sex appeal was off the charts. If I got to see his hot, naked body, I would devour this lovely creature and lick every ridge of those dang abs of his. Wait, was the great Bass Cole fishing for compliments? “No, not yet.” I pressed my lips together, hiding a smile. He grinned. “You are something else, aren’t you?” He placed his hands behind his head and I couldn’t help gawking at his muscular arms. “Are you dating anyone, Em?” Being forward, wasn’t he? I shook my head. “No, not anymore. It ended yesterday actually, if you really want to know.” “Oh, wow. I didn’t expect that,” he muttered. “Expect what?” I glanced at his boggled state. What did he mean by that? “That you’re on the rebound.” Uh, what the hell? “Who said I was on the rebound?” I exasperatedly asked the mysterious man across me. Cece? It had to be Cece.

“That’s just a given. A person is on the rebound for a month after breaking it off with someone, especially if the person they broke it off with actually meant something, then that’s another shitload of shenanigans.” Okay… he was complicated and odd to say the least. “Can I just say that… you’re weird? I never thought Bass Cole would be weird until this moment.” “Ha. You are too cute sometimes.” Gee, thanks. Looking cute was what I had aimed for tonight— not. Cute? Cute was for kids, not a grown almost twenty-oneyear-old woman! Diverging from the touchy subject, he continued on. “What are your favorite films?” he asked as he prepared crackers with cheese and olives on them. Placing them on a cocktail napkin, he handed them to me. I murmured my thanks. The man had such gracious manners—so unlike Carter. I took a small bite and spoke, “Eurotrip was a blast. The Notebook, Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, Kingdom of Heaven, Defiance and Closer to name a few.” “Interesting choices you have there. I like it. So, what did you like about Closer?” he inquired as he watched me eat and talk. I shrugged. “What’s not to like? It was a great film with great actors. The story was moving and relatable.”

“So, you condone cheating then?” he pressed, figuring me out. “No, I never said that. I don’t condone it. I meant it was relatable in a sense that our society has made it somewhat okay. If a famous celebrity cheats on someone, they publicize it to the hilt and it’s portrayed as acceptable to some, I supposed. I wish they didn’t though because it sets a bad example to others.” “Good answer.” “Thank you,” I murmured and downed my drink. Excellent choice of wine, I thought to myself. This was surreal… “Tell me, why The Notebook?” He was still pressing for answers. “Because that movie was hella awesome!? But to answer your question, I loved how committed the hero was to his love. His unfaltering dedication to the promise he made years back was astounding. I mean, he truly, deeply loved her. It’s that kind of love that stays with you, you know? The kind where it haunts you and there is nowhere to hide…” I trailed off, my thoughts on Carter and my wasted love. My heart gripped me for a second. I thought back at how cold he was when he told me to gather my things and leave his house. I was instantly brought back to the present. “Have you had that kind of love?” he inquired, pressing me

further. “I thought I did once, but it was a mirage… there was no point on holding on to it. Maybe one day I’ll get to have it. I would consider myself lucky if I ever did, not a lot of people can say that they have though.” I glanced at him and asked, “What about you? Have you ever had it? That kind of love, I mean.” I had to clarify it just in case he took my question as an innuendo. He smiled at my inquisition as his eyes glittered at me. “No, not yet, but if I do, I will embrace it and hold onto it for as long as I can. I haven’t loved a woman before. It’s not that I’m hiding from it, it just hasn’t happened. I do know that once I do, this woman would consume me and I would gladly surrender to it, to her. I would be enslaved to it and love her wholeheartedly, no holds barred.” Bass spoke with utmost depth and conviction. That was quite intense and deep. That woman would be very lucky indeed. Imagine all this hot goodness as yours to conquer and behold. Jealous much, Emma? I cringed at my stupid thoughts. Was I drunk already? Surely because my mind couldn’t be tamed. It just kept on wandering about. “Do you want to drive somewhere, Em? We can go wherever you like,” he asked softly. His question was much appreciated, but unnecessary.

“It’s okay. I kind of like it here; it’s very peaceful. I’d like to stay here, if you don’t mind?” I didn’t want to leave the beautiful scene before me. The scene was ‘the view on the patio’ and the beautiful man beside me.

“Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. This person is one you could forever talk to. They understand you in a way that no one else does or even could. This person is your soul mate, your best friend. Don’t ever let them go, for they’re your guardian angel sent from heaven above.”

~Author Unknown

Six It was six in the morning and we were still on the patio, lounging and talking. The fireplace was still burning strongly, giving us enough heat to fight off the chilly morning air that had settled in. Bass was kind enough to grab two blankets to help keep us warm. He moved another chaise lounge and placed it next to mine. He even arranged them facing the view of the city as we tucked ourselves in the nice warmth of the blankets, side by side. He took the liberty of brewing us coffee and we drank it quietly. It was a comfortable silence. Until I died, if we became friends or not, I would never forget that sweet moment with Bass Cole. The man sure knew how to make a first impression. He kept to his word and he was a true gentleman. The entire time we just chatted on and on about whatever subject we could think of. I didn’t know there was a guy

out there who liked to talk. Most men I knew didn’t care for idle chitchat. Imagine my surprise when this hottie turned out to be different. Bass certainly was in a league of his own, unlike all the other guys I knew. “The sun should be rising soon. I want you to see it. It’s really beautiful,” he murmured out of the blue. I glanced at him, wondering if I heard him right. He loved watching sunrises? “I can hear you thinking, you know. On nights I have a hard time sleeping, I come out here and wait for the sun to come up. And no, I haven’t shared my sunrise with anyone else. You’re my first, Emma Anderson.” Bass gave me a quick glance and I gave him a smile. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it felt good. The sun was brimming behind the mountains. Its blinding yellow heat glistened from afar as it slowly moved upwards towards the sky. This was Mother Nature at her finest. How many times had I enjoyed a sunrise or a sunset? Bass took my hand, placed it inside the comforter and held it against his chest. I didn’t mind it because it felt, comfortable? It was as if we had done this before, it was an odd feeling really. After the sunrise, we were still cuddling and I wondered why I didn’t feel a bit sleepy. “Aren’t you tired, yet? Don’t you have a movie to shoot or whatever things actors do?”

“I just finished filming two weeks ago and got back in L.A. about a week later. I have no plans on this very bright, sunny Sunday. Feel like joining me on my lazy day off?” he invited. As tempted as I was, I should say no. I barely knew him. Surely, spending too much time with him so soon would be a bad idea? “I don’t think so. I bet my friends are wondering where I am.” “Don’t worry. They know you’re with me. I told Cece I was taking you somewhere.” Oh. He was that sure I was leaving with him? “Are you always this forward? Towards women, I mean.” I wanted to figure him out, to find out what his motives were. “Of course. I don’t have to work all that hard to get women, to be honest, but you’re the only one I’ve had to chase after. When I noticed that you had been gone for a long time—too long to use the bathroom—I realized you had ditched me and dumped me on your friend, Cece. I had to find you. I couldn’t let you walk out of the club without me. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t. That’s crazy, isn’t it? There I was, I had barely spoken a few words to you and yet I was captivated.” His words… made me feel something. Scared wasn’t the word, no, it was more like… safe? Yeah, along the lines of safe. “Could it be your rejection or aloofness that made you

different? No clue. One thing I do know—your pure beauty compelled me to seek you out. Your honesty and depth pushed me even further. It’s frightening and at the same time, fascinating. Knowing that, I couldn’t let you walk away.” Oh my God, what a fucking speech! Who said those things? An Oscar winner, perhaps? “What do you want from me, Bass?” I asked, eyeing him as he silently studied me. His azure eyes locked with mine and wouldn’t let me go, their powerful intensity pulled me while their spell weaved through my defenses. “I want to get to know you, Emma.” Okay, that was easy. I could work with that. “So, you want to get to know me only, right? And this is not some ploy to get me into bed?” I turned to my side, looking at his face that was inches away from mine. My eyes studied his profile. And what a fucking profile! His face was perfectly sculpted. Each curve was honed to perfection. His full lips, straight nose, perfect brows. He even had thick, long lashes. I even thought they were a tad longer than mine! How annoying was that? If there were a man who could make me get over “The Carter Mason Fever,” Bass was it and I knew it, too, but that would be using him, wouldn’t it? People do it all the time— Yeah, but why question the

dating karma cycle? Good point. Bass cleared his throat before he spoke, “Hell, I do want you in my bed, but I wouldn’t want to insult you by trying to get you to sleep with me. Not only that, the idea that you might be on a rebound doesn’t sit well either. Apart from that, I do want to get to know you. The real you; what makes you tick and stuff. Simple as that—nothing scary or anything.” “Like friends, then?” I double checked. “Sure, as friends, for now. My intentions are much more geared towards another path, but if that’s what you want to start out with as a platform—a common ground—then so be it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Em, and I really mean that.” How was it that I didn’t have to explain myself fully to him? He seemed to just know and get it. It was disconcerting to say the least. “Good. I’d like that very much, Bass.” I glanced at him as he stifled a yawn. “You should sleep and I should head back to my hotel,” I suggested. Bass shook his head. “No. I love having you here with me and I like holding your dainty hand very much. Don’t go yet.” He tried to hide another incoming yawn. Gosh, he even makes yawning look sexy. “All right, I’ll wait until you’re passed out and then I’ll leave.”

He handed me his phone. “Program your number, please, and set the alarm two hours from now? I promise I will call my driver to come get you and take you back to your hotel.” I consented, “Two hours. Tops.” You sure you’re not just staying because you don’t want to leave his side? “Thank you,” he murmured and finally closed his eyes. Since my hand was on his chest, I felt his heartbeat slow down. With one free hand, I programmed my number in his phone. I didn’t dare browse through his contacts. I was tempted, but willed myself not to. Whoa! I didn’t even think about Carter over the past few hours. How the heck did that happen? I thought happily. Bass Cole’s charms were amazing, indeed! I studied his striking profile and wondered how such a fucking beautiful man like him could see something in me. How the hell did I get myself into more trouble? Carter was enough of a problem as it was. Now I had added another man into the mix. This shit could get complicated as hell, I thought as my heavy eyes closed.

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

~Jean Shinoda Bolen

Seven I could feel the heat of the sun starting to scorch my back. I groaned and tried to rollover to my other side, but my hand was tucked somewhere. Bass was still holding it. Slightly opening my dreary eyes, I squinted at the bright surroundings. I shifted a bit and heard Bass grunt something as he started to wake up. “Good morning sunshine.” “Good morning…” I said in between yawns then stilled. Shit, what time was it? “Oh my God, I have to get back!” I got up and hunted down my purse. When I got to it, I fished out my phone. Carter and Lindsey each called a few times and there were a few messages from both of them. Ignoring Carter’s messages, I scrolled to read Lindsey’s. Lindsey Mason: Em, I have to get back to SB. Sorry, this was unexpected. Could you get a ride from the girls? Thanks, babe.

Oh, no way. Why did she have to leave so soon? Wasn’t this her bright idea to begin with? No, no, no, no, no! I was not going to ride back home with the girls. I honestly didn’t feel like being interrogated by them. This totally sucked. “Is everything all right, Em?” Bass sat up from the lounger and scrambled to his feet. “I, um…” My voice trailed off as I watched in total fascination as he stretched. His black shirt lifted up, showing off his famous abs. I licked my lips as I stared. Why did he have to be so… hella sexy? “Yes, Emma?” Bass caught me admiring him and now he was teasing the heck out of me. Blushing and a tad mortified, I excused myself to the bathroom. Once inside the house, I realized I didn’t have a clue where the bathroom was. I quickly turned around to look for Bass and found that he was right behind me—with a massive smile on his face.“Where is the bathroom?” I reddened a little more as I asked the question. “Come here.” He pulled me towards him and gave me a hug, enveloping me in his large, muscled body. OH. MY. WORD! My senses were on full alert as I inhaled the scent of him. Boy

did he smell fantastic! He pulled back a little and looked at me, our faces merely inches away. “You know you look even more beautiful when you blush like that?” Bass whispered. The cat got my tongue. My mind went blank and all I could see was Bass and his amazing eyes, dilated and very much locked on me. Compelling me… Calling me… I snaked my tongue out to wet my lips and his eyes zeroed in on them. He pulled my face a little closer and I closed my eyes, readying for his kiss, but his lips landed on my jaw and he nuzzled his nose all the way to my ear then he whispered, “You’re not ready for my kiss yet, my darling Emma. When I do kiss you, I will be the only one you can think of, the only one that can possess you and no one else. You, madam, are certainly not ready for that kind of possession.” His words weighed heavily on me. Bass was right, though, I wasn’t ready and I appreciated him being noble about it because if he had chosen to kiss me, I wouldn’t have pulled away and I might’ve ended up regretting it later on. He was merely a stranger and yet, he respected me. He was simply remarkable.

Bass kissed my forehead and squeezed me tightly. “Go freshen up while I make us some breakfast. Take two lefts and the bathroom is on the right. See you in a bit.” With another kiss on my head, he strolled towards his enormous stainless steel kitchen. I just stood there and watched him walk away. Oh My God! What was going on? My nerves were all over the place! I was confused as hell. This was like an odd dream or one of those movies where the plot was too good to be true and then out of nowhere an axe murderer joined in and killed the happily ever after. Mentally shaking my head, I followed the directions he gave me and found the bathroom without difficulty. “I look like a bedraggled cat,” I voiced out loud as I stared at my reflection. I fished out my phone and called Amber. After two rings she picked up. “Girl, you are getting it on!” Amber announced happily. I groaned. Did I expect anything else? They were going to tease the hell out of me until they get some juicy info. Shit. Here we go. “Listen, Linds left and went back to the dorms and I was hoping I could ride back with you guys.” “Oh no, we left like an hour ago, doll. We’re like around Summerland, babe. Sorry, cupcake.” Amber did sound sorry. Oh crap, what the hell was I supposed to do? I groaned.

Uh, this is what I got for being so idiotic. Why didn’t I figure this out last night? Since when had I ever been so unprepared? The old me would’ve made sure I had a ride before I left the club last night. The new Emma was obviously too star-struck to think coherently Ugh! “You know, why don’t you ask the bad boy BC himself? I bet he has a hot ride!” Amber suggested with tons of innuendos in between her words. Bad boy BC, was that his nickname? “Emma! Was he good in the sack?” I could hear Trista in the background. I guess the entire car could hear me. Damn speaker phones! “Good God! I didn’t sleep with him!” I countered back. This was still unchartered territory for me, dating and the like. I was still learning here, I wasn’t going to just start sleeping around. “No fucking way, why not? THIS is The Bass Cole, Emma! You’re such a bore whore!” Amber sounded aghast. Thank you, I guess? “Need I remind all of you that I just broke it off with Carter? Yeah—exactly! I am a bore whore, whatever.” “Carter’s pissed as shit. You better watch out for the angry monster when you get back in town,” Cece added with derision. Yeah, because you posted fucking videos on Facebook!

Who fucking does that? Of course, she’s friends with like the entire campus. Of course, each person who saw it would mention it to Carter. Carter Mason was like their freaking school hero. They simply loved him. “Gee, thanks for the heads-up. Anyway, I have to go and look for a ride elsewhere,” I muttered. “Damn straight! And that ride better be Bass Cole’s warrior! You better tell me the deets and how he is between the sheets. Please, please, please!” Amber begged. She was obviously going bonkers. “There’s no point in arguing with you, is there? See you later, girls!” I laughed and cut off the call before they threw any more innuendoes my way. After I washed my face, rinsed my mouth out with some mouthwash I found and applied some lip gloss, I came out of the bathroom. How would I bring up my dire ride situation to Bass? What if he has other plans? Maybe I could call a taxi to take me or better yet, I could just rent a car somewhere. As I entered the kitchen, Bass gave me a dazzling smile. “Come sit and talk to me while I cook. Which hotel are you and your friends staying at again? I’ll drive you there myself.” I strode towards the kitchen island, sat on one of the stools and watched him master the kitchen. “That might be a problem. It seems

that they all left already and I’m stuck alone in Los Angeles.” “No problem. I can take you back to campus.” He shrugged and continued to chop mushrooms like a Michelin star chef. Impressive. “Where did you learn how to cook?” “I was a chef in one of my movies and I had to train with this five-star chef for three months before shooting.” “Wow, three months? What movie was it?” I hadn’t seen any of his films except for that first vampire movie. Amber and Cece had told me there were two more and another one was in the works. Bass smirked at my innocent question. “How many films of mine have you seen, Emma?” He cracked four eggs in a bowl, peppered them, added a dash of salt and rapidly scrambled them. His large hands were even nice… “Knights of Cimmerian.” “Did you like it?” he inquired as he drizzled olive oil into the heated pan. “Sure, it was great!” I fibbed. “What did you like about it?” he pressed on, again. Shoot. Your rock-hard abs and that sexy, crazy, erotically charged sex scene that had gotten me so aroused in the movie theater. I

clearly remembered how his sculpted, firm ass looked as he made love to the woman in the movie. “Everything… it was… great.” I bit my lip as I looked at him through my lashes. He barked out a loud laugh. And what a… fucking stop it, Emma, I scolded myself as I lusted from afar. “It’s either you didn’t like it or you weren’t paying attention. So which is which?” Busted! I suck at lying. “I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry. When you asked, I didn’t know what to tell you to be honest.” “Don’t worry, babe, I’m not offended.” He winked at me as he prepared our breakfast. I made toast, coffee and cut up some fruit while he cooked. We ate at the island counter and I noticed how his eyes looked even more spell-binding in the daylight. It was past noon when we left his house and drove back to Santa Barbara. His bright blue Lamborghini Gallardo weaved through the traffic and I couldn’t help looking at his hands when he shifted gears. I loved men that could drive a stick. He looked so fucking edible in his aviator shades, wearing a simple white shirt and dark jeans. He looked like every bit of the heartthrob that he was. I was crushing hard on Bass.

As we got closer to school, my stomach nose-dived at the thought of seeing Carter again. Did he hook up with another woman last night? Quite possibly; it didn’t take him long to jump in bed with me after his conquest before me. It was what? Two days, three maybe? We had sex on our second date. We almost did it on the first date, but we were at a party with our friends and got too drunk to do anything. Carter didn’t talk about his feelings at all. Instead, he expressed them through his actions, usually during sex. When we fought or he was angry, he would take me hard and fast. When he was happy, he teased me and tickled me and left me begging for him to take me. Yeah, I think I fell hard during his happy phases, sadly. I still hadn’t read the rest of his messages, but I couldn’t fathom going over them right now. I bet he’s just angry that I was with Bass only a day after I dumped him. What else would he be so angry about?

“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”

~Fyodor Dostoevsky

Eight When we exited the freeway and were closer to my place, I gave Bass directions to my dorm. He parked the car and killed the engine then looked at me silently. The silence stretched for a good minute before I spoke; unsure how to take it from here. “It was nice to meet you, Bass. It really was. I had a great time; bizarre, but enjoyable nonetheless.” I grinned at the studious man beside me. My smile faltered when he didn’t smile back. Why was he so serious all of a sudden? We were fine when we left his house. “I have this dinner thing on Tuesday night for a film I just signed up to shoot this summer in Greece. Would you come with me and be my date?” “Oh, don’t you all discuss work details? I don’t want to intrude on that.” Not to mention, I would look like a complete idiot and so out of place. “You won’t. It’ll be fun. The director is my godfather, actually.

So it’s going to be laidback; don’t worry. You’re going to have a blast. Say you’ll go with me?” “Do people ever tell you no?” I cocked my brow at him. I somehow doubted he ever got a ‘no,’ especially from women. A lazy, gorgeous smile etched on his face as he responded, “Well, there’s this girl… she’s stunning and funny and she has these beautiful blue eyes and golden hair and she doesn’t seem to be interested in me, not one bit. I, on the other hand, feel compelled to be with her and to see more of her.” I nudged his arm. “Now you’re just being silly, Bass.” “I’ll pick you up at five, Tuesday afternoon?” He reached up to my face and his thumb grazed my bottom lip. His eyes darkened as he studied my slightly parted mouth. Why doesn’t he just kiss me already? He was always looking at them. Oh, hell yeah, I knew he was staring at me; my skin would prickle every time he did. His gaze was that powerful; it affected me even if I wasn’t paying attention to him. “Bass…” He looked at me, his eyes unreadable. “Did you love that guy you were with, Em?” My throat ran dry. “Unfortunately, yes.” “I knew you did. I just needed confirmation. Thank you for

your honesty.” all right… then. He got out of the car and opened the door for me. I cleared my throat as I stared at him; the sun was glowing behind him, almost blinding me. “Bass, I think you’re great, but I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. Everything’s complicated with me right now.” He held my chin and forced me to look deep into his eyes, powerful in their passion, acute in their force. They reached something inside me. “Aren’t we starting out as friends as we agreed upon? Don’t worry, Em.” Bass gently kissed my forehead. “Be ready by five come Tuesday afternoon. I’ll see you then.” With that parting, he slid back inside his car, gunned the engine and raced out into traffic. I was standing on the pavement, rendered speechless. What a man… With my purse in hand, I strode toward my building and into my dorm. Thoughts of the night spent with Bass raced through my mind. The sunrise… each time I saw one would forever bring me back to the night I spent with Bass. I was about to unlock the door to my room, but before I could even get my key in the lock, it was yanked open by an angry looking Carter. What was he doing here? Probably to see Lindsey, they were siblings after all.

“Uh… hello," I said lamely as I started to walk towards my bedroom. Carter jumped in front of me. “Is that all you have to say? A fucking hello!” In my sleep deprived state, it annoyed the hell out of me. What a drama queen! I was not in the mood to be bombarded by him at that time. I looked up to face him as I folded my arms across my chest. “What do you want, Carter?” Carter pulled me inside my room and shut the door loudly. He shoved me up against the wall and placed his hands on each side of my head, caging me in. “What I want is for you to explain what the hell you’re doing? The entire school knows about your little getaway and your little stunt with that actor dude.” So what? Who cares about the entire school? I had fun and that’s all that mattered. “That’s none of your business, Carter, and certainly not the entire campus’s either. I couldn’t care less about what they think. Now, will you please move? I need to rest. I’m exhausted.” It was too late to realize that that was the wrong thing to say. It set off something in Carter. He looked downright murderous. “You’re exhausted? From what, Em?” Carter’s voice had gone low and deadly. I swallowed hard as I studied him. He looked deadly; his eyes were so dark and dangerous. Had I pushed him too far? No matter how angry he was, I knew for a fact that he

would never, ever hit me. “I said. That’s. None. Of. Your. Business. Got it?” I spat the words back at him. If he was angry, I was angrier. How dare he march in here and act like this? “Don’t do this to me, Em… this is driving me insane!” he spat out, wretchedly. I wasn’t expecting that. Never from him. I felt a spring of hope… maybe… just maybe… “I thought we were done?” I asked, watching him with uncertainty, trying to gauge his thoughts. He closed his eyes and whispered, “I know, but I can’t stomach the thought of you with another guy. I just can’t. I’m going crazy here, Emma.” Oh fuck, I feel torn. Did he have a change of heart? Oh, fuck it! It’s now or never. Emboldened, I went for the kill. “Do you love me?” I throatily asked. His eyes instantly opened with my damning question, searching and pensive. “I told you I don’t do love, Em,” Carter responded with distaste. His words gutted me all the same. What was I thinking? He wouldn’t just change after a few days. “Then there’s no point of you being here, now is there, Carter?” His dark eyes penetrated mine and my heart stopped when he

spoke. “Are you in love with me, Em? Is that what this is all about?” His hand cupped my cheek. The sudden contact of him almost undid me. For some odd reason, I wanted to cry. I loved him so much, it was crazy. I felt crazy for wanting him to love me, even if it was just a small fraction of what I felt for him. But alas, it was not meant to be. “I don’t.” It was the biggest lie of all, but I wouldn’t back down knowing he didn’t feel the same way about me. “You don’t sound convincing to me and if that’s the reason why you broke it off, then I don’t mind that as long as you’re with me again,” he emphasized. How embarrassing was that? He didn’t mind that I loved him, did he? Well, great. Good for him because I fucking minded! I minded that he didn’t feel shit about me. Romantic, was he not? “Well, that’s your problem. Now, will you please get out of my room? I didn’t sleep much last night and I need some rest.” “Em, is it true? Did you spend the night with him?” His voice sounded pained again. Was it pain, really? Or was it his bruised ego because I ended our stupid relationship? The question was a Catch-22 and I didn’t know which answer to give him.

Did I spend the night with Bass? Yeah, I did. Did I have sex with him? That was a definite no. “He took me back to his home. We spent the night together, if that’s what you want to know.” I pressed my lips together as I watched all kinds of emotions run through his eyes… his face. The way he looked at me, sliced me in two. There was so much hatred there, I felt pained and wretched. I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn’t. We were past that. He punched the wall next to me hard and growled like a maniac. I was surprised that the wall didn’t have a hole in it. His knuckles—from what I could see—were cut open and bleeding, but it didn’t seem to faze him. “Goodbye, Emma,” Carter whispered and marched out of my room, my life. What a stupid mess this was. I guess this really was goodbye for us. It was the conclusion, the ending. Why wasn’t I crying? The night we officially broke it off, I felt every single pain that wracked through my body. Now, there was still pain, but not as intense or numbing. It was bearable. Heavy on my heart, but bearable. It took me a good five minutes before I was able to move. I stripped off my clothing and jumped into bed in my underwear. I just wanted to hide inside my comforter and curl up. I definitely

needed my brain to shut down and dream away. It took an hour for my pressing wish to happen and I was more than relieved when it did.

“Sometimes you need a second chance, because time wasn’t ready for the first time.”

~Author Unknown

Nine I barely made it to my literature class the next day. I slept so soundly that I didn’t even hear my alarm clock. When I did wake up, I didn’t want to get out of bed. Lazy bones. For one thing, the rumor mill was probably going viral about Bass and me after that video evil Cece uploaded; God only knew what the gossipers were whispering about. The break-up with Carter was big news around campus. Actually, it was probably MAJOR news. Second, I knew Carter would be around school and from our heated encounter yesterday, I honestly did not want to see him so soon. After an hour discussion on Leo Tolstoy, the class was dismissed. As I got up to gather my belongings, two girls stopped in front of me. “Is it true? That you’re the mystery woman?” I’m a what? “I beg your pardon?” I questioned, looking wholly baffled at the two enthusiastic women.

“You’re Bass Cole’s mystery woman. You’re all over the gossip blogs and gossip magazines.” No. Fucking. Way. “Sorry, I have somewhere I need to be,” I excused myself and left them whispering to each other. Later, I was at the coffee shop, enjoying my macchiato, when Trista and Amber walked over to my table. Trista slapped a magazine down as they both sat across from me, each with a mile wide grin on their faces. My eyes immediately darted to it. ‘Who is Bass Cole’s Mystery Woman?’ it said in bold blue lettering. There were two large, grainy pictures of us on the front page. The first one was a picture of us leaving the club, Bass’s arm clutched on my hip as he guided me towards the SUV. The second picture, on the other hand, was something else entirely. The picture was taken through the gates of his home and it showed him opening the car door for me—I was dressed in the same clothes from the club picture the night before—and as I looked up to his face, I was smiling and looking rather… well, happy. It looked like we had a great night fucking each other’s brains out. Pictures could really be deceiving and from what little I read in the article, it seemed like his fans were going on an online rampage trying to figure out who I was. “This is bad,” I muttered, freaking the hell out.

I wasn’t worried about my parents because they barely had time to watch the news, let alone read a gossip magazine. Still, how was this going to affect me? What were people going to think of me? “You think? This is awesome, babe! You’re like Bass Cole’s girlfriend!” “I am not! Stop saying that; people might hear you,” I hissed at her as I looked around the coffee shop. I warned her off, but she was grinning like she had won the lottery. “Oh, shut up! This is great! You should enjoy it! I mean, you should really enjoy Bass Cole… I would happily sell my grandmother if I could spend a night with him in my arms. What I wouldn’t give to be with him for one night…” she trailed off, day dreaming her heart out. Even if I wanted to “enjoy Bass” and all his glorified scrumptious body, the man wouldn’t even kiss me, knowing the kind of emotional rut I was in. “It’s not like that with us. Trust me. I admitted that I had just broken up with Carter and stuff so that put him off a bit, I think.” Trista’s eyes bulged out. “For real? Emma! You’re crazy! What woman would say shit like that when she was out with the hottest demigod in Hollywood?” Trista looked stressed out as she frowned at me. I couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter that

threatened to crack. Her expression was just too hilarious. “So, did he, like, dump you already? He’s quite known for his one-night stands! I guess it’s a good thing that he did dump you; it’s not like you need another Carter in your life, you know? Yeah, Emma, you’re better off without Bass.” Trista looked like she was trying to convince herself more than me. Poor thing, she was so invested; I felt bad seeing her that way. “Actually, I am seeing him for dinner tomorrow. He signed onto a movie and some of the cast members are going to be there as well; to get to know each other and whatnot.” She jumped out of her seat and lunged at me with a big hug. Her shrieking caused some of the people to look at us to see what the ruckus was all about. I did say she was always damn cheery, didn’t I? “Trista Stevens, did you forget to take your anti-psychotic pill again?” Amber’s question made Trista laugh so hard she started to tear. “This is why I love you, Amber. Your twisted sense of humor never fails to entertain my boring life.” “Love you too, Tris.” Amber blew Trista a kiss. “This is crazy!” she added enthusiastically. It certainly was. I was lost in thought, staring at the magazine cover when I felt

Trista freeze next to me. “No dolls, this is about to get insane. Carter Mason just walked in and he doesn’t look happy.” Oh no. Not yet. I’m not ready to see him yet! Too late, when I looked up, he had just barely arrived at our table. Fuck my life!!! God, he looked so—so dark, dangerous and sexy; a total opposite of the blond hair, blue-eyed Bass. “Can we talk outside?” He sounded ominous as usual; no nonsense or pleasantries, no ‘Hello’ or an ‘Excuse me’. I stopped gawking at his beauty and managed to quickly gather my thoughts. “All right.” I got up. “See you ladies later,” I murmured, looking at Amber and Trista. They both looked like they were going to burst from curiosity. The other students in the coffee shop watched our exchange and stared at the unfolding drama we were causing before their eyes. Once outside, he walked towards his black Escalade and opened the door for me. As I sat, the familiar scent of Carter permeated my senses. His fragrant essence made me nostalgic, amongst other things. I tried to calm my nerves, but it was pointless; I was extremely anxious, on edge. Suck it up, Emma. When the other car door opened, he slid inside and locked all the doors. The engine was running with no music playing and the

silence was deafening. “I thought you wanted to talk. So, talk,” I commanded, aggravated at his silent state. His large hand ran through his disheveled hair making him look even sexier. GAWD! My blue eyes met his dark fathomless depths. Without breaking eye contact he spoke with evident strain and torment, “I really want you back, Emma.” Steady, my shattered heart. “We’ve been here before. Yesterday, in fact, if you don’t recall.” “I know. I was an idiot. I haven’t slept because every time I shut my eyes, you’re all I see. When news broke about you and Bass spending the night together, I couldn’t take it, Em. This is fucking killing me. You’re killing me and I’m going insane. I can’t think straight!” Tempting… how fucking tempting… I leaned back against the leather headrest and contemplated what to do. Could I really be with someone who didn’t love me? It was obvious that the more time I spent with him, the more intense my feelings for him got. At the end of the day, going back to him wouldn’t solve anything, not really. I would have him physically, but

I’d never have his heart, his love. Knowing how I was, I would not be happy with that nor would I be content with a half-ass kind of commitment. If I stayed with him, when the inevitable end came, I would be sorely hurt and I would regret it sooner or later. “I can’t do that.” “Why the hell not? You and I were great together, Em. We were… and you know it!” He sighed heavily and stared at the car ceiling. “Are you guys dating now or something?” he challenged, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as his eyes moved to mine, searching for the truth. Or something… that’s what Bass and I are… the connection was there. I felt it, Bass felt it, but the timing was all wrong. “No. It’s not like that. The gossip you hear is just, well, gossip.” That was the truth. “Why are you doing this now, Carter? Is this about your pride and ego? Because I honestly don’t buy the shit you’re telling me. We both know that you’ve had some crazy wild rides around town. Sex with me isn’t exceptional. You’ve done more questionable sexual exhibitions with other women. So, what the hell is going on?” “Unfuckingbelievable! I fucking miss you! That’s what’s going on. It’s the entire truth!” he barked out in frustration. He missed me? That was a first. All he ever said was, ‘I need you’ and the other infamous line, ‘I want you.’

“Don’t shut me down without some thought, Em. Just promise you’ll think it over before you give me an answer? I’d rather take that than your immediate rejection.” Astounding, I thought. Had the world tilted on its axis or something? Had aliens abducted Carter Mason’s brain? There had to be some bizarre answer to this. This was so unlike him; he was the most insensitive, callous, demanding, detached jerk that I had ever met. “Emma?” his voice pleaded. His tone was melting my purpose; my sole objective of staying away from him. Fuck love! “I’ll think about it. No promises though, just so we’re clear,” I clarified with total nonchalance. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” I barely nodded because my mind was going through a battle of sorts. “It’s past one already; want to grab something to eat? Or better yet, why don’t I take you out tonight? I haven’t taken you out on a date for a while,” Carter suggested, hopeful. Yeah, amongst the other deficiencies you have, I wanted to add, but couldn’t muster the energy for another lengthy argument. When was the last time he took me out properly? I couldn’t even remember. “I’m fine. Do you think you could just drop me off at my dorm?” I didn’t think I could muster enough energy to endure a

meal with him. “Yeah, of course.” When he got into traffic, he turned to me. “It’s our second to last game of the season against UCLA. Will you come and wear my jersey?” How about not? I’m not going to be your jersey girl, buddy! “I can’t. I have things to do.” Carter just nodded. Student housing was pretty close to the café so the ride back was quick. I didn’t waste a moment’s time getting out of his SUV. “Thanks. I’ll see you around,” I muttered before slamming his door shut, not giving him a chance to respond.

“I’m intimidated by the fear of being average.”

~Taylor Swift

Ten With another grunt of frustration, I lightly hit my forehead on my closet door a few more times before I heard Lindsey clear her throat. “Oh honey, that’s not how you say a prayer. You should try the floor; it clears your mind like no other.” Smartass! I glared at my smirking friend. “How does one dress amongst Hollywood folks?” Lindsey barked out a shrieking laugh and I gave her a death stare. “This weird upheaval is for tonight’s outfit?” She looked at me, her head askew. I threw a discarded shirt at her and she laughed even harder. She was certainly not helping the situation. “I was fine about it until Bass texted me that it was going to be held at Martin Lombardo’s home.” That statement made her laughing rampage halt. Her mouth hung ajar. “No shit, and you don’t have an outfit?!” she said, purely horrified. Now it was her turn to freak the fuck out. “Now’s not the time to give me a lecture, Linds. I have an hour before Bass gets here!” I gave her a quick retort, my eyes filled with

pure dread. Martin Lombardo was a producer and director. Most of his films were Oscar-worthy and he had won a crap load of them. He was an icon, a legend. I was impressed that Bass was going to make a film with him. However, that amazement turned into trepidation when Bass mentioned I was meeting the director himself tonight. “Give me a second to run through my closet. Go get yourself something to drink. You look like you need it.” She was about to leave, but she stopped mid-stride. “You know what? I’ll bring you a bottle of tequila. You just wait and sit here!” Linds departed my scattered room as my phone beeped. Bass Cole: Am leaving the house. Be seeing you very soon! I smiled. Why did I grin like a silly idiot every time I saw his name? Oh gosh, he was starting to worm his way inside, way too quickly for my liking, much to my dismay. Linds was back with what looked like ten outfits and a bottle of tequila which she threw to me. I caught the bottle before it landed on the bed. “Okay, now strip!” she commanded like a lieutenant. She was browsing through her chosen outfits while I stripped my clothes off, leaving my bra and underwear on. Thank God Linds and I were about the same size.

“How about this one?” She held out a flashy red skin-tight, silk dress. It was gorgeous, but the narrow top would make my breasts look squashed. Not the kind of attention or ‘wow factor’ I was looking for tonight. I shook my head. “Too vulgar.” “ All right… How about this one?” She held out a simple Aline dress. “That’s too plain Jane, doll,” I said and she scampered to hold out a few more and I declined them all. She was getting annoyed, I could tell. I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass, but none of them really appealed to me. “That! I want to try that one on!” I ran to her and grabbed the dress from her hand. “Finally! You’re such a pain, Princess Emma!” Lindsey rolled her eyes and helped me with the dress. “I love you more, baby!” I kissed her cheek to which she replied, ‘yeah, yeah’ with a cute pout. The dress was simple, elegant and it was sexy. It was a bodyhugging, nude lace, short dress with short sleeves. It was perfect! I thought as I studied my reflection. I loved that it gave me a good amount of cleavage, but not too much. “Okay, okay. Let’s get your make-up started. Do you want to go for a smoky sex-bomb, absolute goddess, or delicate ethereal

look?” Lindsey asked as I sat and browsed through the make-up selection before me. “Absolute goddess, definitely!” After twenty minutes of priming and brushing, she was done. She used a lot of gold and bronze creamy hues. It made my eyes look divine and quite stunning. My cheeks were bronzed and highlighted to perfection. She teased my hair and put some mousse and other hair styling products in it, making it look playful and sexy. I went back to my closet and took out my three and a half inch, rose-gold metallic pumps and slid them on. “How do I look?” I asked as I moved sideways to give her a good view. “You look, like, scorching hot, doll! Bass will fall at your feet and worship you until he’s out of breath!” How she exaggerated, but I basked in it all the same! “That’s pushing our luck, don’t you think?” My phone started ringing and I didn’t even need to check it to know who it was. Bass was calling me to let me know that he was right outside. “Shit, I haven’t even gathered my purse and stuff!” I freaked, scouring my room for the needed items. “Let me go downstairs and get him.” Linds was halfway out the door already and didn’t even wait for me to respond. Thank God for my awesome friend! Once I got everything in my tiny clutch purse, I heard Bass and

Lindsey enter the apartment. I gave myself another once over just to make sure my eyeliner wasn’t smudged or my mascara had flaked. Nope, I was all set! I was a nervous wreck when I strode out of my bedroom and into the living room. Bass, looking totally delicious dressed in all black was talking to Lindsey when I entered the room and he did a double take when he saw me. His azure eyes glittered. My heart sped up at his slow, heated, admiring gaze. “Hey, Bass! Ready to go?” I asked as the apartment door suddenly swung open. Brody strolled in and Carter was behind him, the dynamic duo. Fucking shit, what luck! “What are you two doing here?” Lindsey asked in annoyance. Brody saw me and his gaze landed on Bass. “We, uh, thought you guys would like to go and get something to eat.” Poor Brody looked perplexed and Carter looked like he was about to blow-up any minute now. I could seriously hear him grinding his teeth together. Calm it down, caveman! I wanted to yell at him. “Didn’t you guys have soccer practice?” Lindsey asked again, eyeing both men in question. “It was cancelled, Linds,” Carter’s deadly voice noted. No one bothered with introductions because the atmosphere in

the apartment was so strained and tense. Bass wrapped an arm around my waist, a tad possessively. “Let’s go,” he said. Carter simply growled like a raging bear. His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides. I could feel Carter’s hatred. I felt bad and wanted to comfort him, but I immediately scolded myself to snap out of it. As much as I loved him, it wasn’t enough. Being with him wasn’t enough anymore. I wanted what he couldn’t give me, I reminded myself. “Let’s go,” Bass urged again and I nodded in agreement. Turning towards Lindsey, I spoke, “Linds, thanks for the help and everything. I’ll call you later.” I gave her a quick hug before Bass and I exited the place. Brody was silent and observant. Carter was brooding with contempt. As much as it bothered me that he was pissed off as hell, there was nothing I could do about it. To be honest, I was actually surprised that Carter held himself back. I expected him to go apeshit about me going out with Bass. I tried to push the thoughts away as Bass led me towards his parked car. Seated and buckled, Bass turned to me before he started the engine. “That was your ex, wasn’t it?” Always forward, wasn’t he? “Sorry, I didn’t know they were coming over. I feel really bad…” What happened at our place was something I hadn’t

anticipated. I was not prepared for it. Bass just shrugged. “No worries. I would’ve acted the same way if I saw my ex—who I’m still hung up on—looking so sinfully beautiful.” He cocked his head and gave me a breathtaking smile. A smile that made me forget about Carter—even if it was for only a moment. He thinks I’m sinfully beautiful? Gah, melt me even further, why don’t you? Bass gave my left thigh a quick, tight squeeze then started the engine and joined the traffic. Even though he took his hand away from my thigh, I could still feel it on me. Butterflies fluttered about in my stomach. During the ride, his cell phone rang like it was possessed. It was nonstop! His agent, his publicist, his friends, the list went on and on. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him and he complied with patience. When my phone vibrated, I fished it out of my purse, a little relieved for something to do. Carter Mason: You just broke me apart, Em. It took all my strength not to yank you away from him and keep you for myself. But what good would that do? You don’t want me. I guess I have to accept that, huh? I get it. The message is loud and clear. I’m not going to wait for you anymore. I guess good

things always slip away. You were special to me, Emma. I was special to him? What? Since when? Was he just trying to say something so that I would comeback as his exclusive bootie call? So. Not. Cool. I was lost in my own thoughts when Bass spoke again. “There. I turned the damn thing off. My phone’s not going to kill our enjoyment tonight,” he declared. “You don’t have to do that for my benefit. What if you miss an important call?” I looked at him. He grabbed my hand and held it. The gesture was sweet and I indulged in his warmth. “What could be more important than my time with you?” He cocked his head back in question, decided and sure of himself. A whole lot of shit, I wanted to add, but I didn’t want to ruin the mood. “If you’re sure…” I trailed off. “Never been so sure of anything in my life,” Bass exclaimed, letting his words hang in the air. We both knew he wasn’t talking about his phone. I remained silent not knowing what to say. For I did not know how to respond to a man who was so handsome and rather determined to have a piece of me. A piece that had already been taken by another man.

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”

~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Eleven “Here we are.” Here was a palatial home in Holmby Hills. Bass turned off the engine and got out of the car as the attendant opened the door for me. I graciously thanked him. “Good evening, Mr. Cole. I’m Steven, the attendant for tonight,” a uniformed man introduced himself. Bass greeted him and handed his keys to him. My eyes scanned the estate and found that there were five uniformed men; three of them were the valet attendants and two of them were dressed in dark clothing who—I’m assuming—were there for security because they looked way too serious. The Italian Renaissance-esque garden had parterres that were created in artistically perfect geometric shapes. They were laid out in symmetrical patterns and adorned with fountains, Romanesque statues–angels, naked men and women–and other exotic plants and bushes. There was even a labyrinth. The outdoor pathway that led

to the main door was lined with plum crystal vases on both sides with rose scented candles in them. I swallowed. If I thought I was nervous before, I was a double wreck now. Martin Lombardo was an icon—a legend. What the hell was I doing here amongst these people? “Don’t be nervous; my godfather will love you.” Bass’s right hand nestled on the base of my spine as he ushered me towards the daunting palatial home. “Your godfather? I thought we were going to Martin Lombardo’s house?” “The one and very same.” He chuckled as he guided me towards the massive home. “You’re godfather is The Martin Lombardo?” DUH, Emma! One plus one equals two, right? He stopped us and turned to me. “Listen, there’s nothing to be anxious about. I’m with you; you’re going to be fine, okay?” he gently reassured me as he softly pecked me on the cheek. Bass stilled as he inhaled my scent, breathing me in. My world stopped spinning. He moved closer, held my hips and enveloped me into his large muscular body and my body shook against his. The sexual charge was loaded with violent acuteness as his lips brushed against my ear. He held my palm against his heart. It was beating frantically,

wildly thumping in his chest. “Do you feel what you do to me? Being this close to you affects me this much. There is no greater explanation but to show you how electrifying you make me feel.” “But we only met Saturday…” I was simply dumb-founded. “Precisely.”Precisely what, exactly? That this was madness? That it didn’t make sense at all? Whatever this was with Bass, it was definitely moving way too fast for me. I knew I wasn’t ready to be with someone else. I couldn't be with Bass knowing that Carter still held my heart. He was a great guy and he deserved a woman who could give him her all. That woman wasn’t me, but at the same time, a teeny tiny part of me wished I was. “Let’s get you inside and enjoy the rest of the evening. Hopefully, with you in my arms. So, how about it Emma?” Bass winked at me, giving me his to-die-for smile. I blushed at his innuendo. “Well, if you put it like that. Why waste time?” I quipped back at his wicked, grinning face. He was way too gorgeous for his own good. What does a man this good looking want from me? ~E~

As it turned out, there was no need for my anxiety. Martin was a charming man and his wife, Miranda, was a lovely, stunning

woman. Their home was absolutely gorgeous and from what I could see, everything looked expensive or like a priceless artifact. Needless to say, I didn’t touch a thing. There were ten of us, including Martin and his wife. Some of the actors couldn’t make it because they were out on location, filming elsewhere. The main cast was there, except for the elusive Samantha Knowles, the lead actress. I learned, during the five course dinner, that the movie was going to be filmed on some privately owned island in Greece, as Bass mentioned before. It was a story of a family who lost their father from the 9/11 Attacks. The mother and son leave the big city and move to Greece to start anew. The son—Bass—still recovering from the loss of his father, turns to alcohol and drugs to cope with his pain and loss. The son meets a woman who turns his world upside down. He falls in love, but in the end, finds out that she is married to another man. It was actually an interesting plot, but I didn’t get to hear the rest of the story, told by Ross Maitland—the mother in the movie—because Martin and his wife moved us to the game room. Before we entered the red and black themed room, Bass pulled me aside and pushed me to a room that was dark and cozy. It was obvious how familiar he was with his godfather’s house. I was a little thrilled that he wanted some alone time. All night, I

felt his gaze on me. Randomly, he would find a way to touch me; a brush of my hair, a squeeze of my hand, a massage on the back of my neck or one of his cute, toe-curling whispers. He managed to make me feel connected to him. “Having fun, my darling?” I’m his darling now? “Actually, I am. Thank you for inviting me.” I bit my lip as his closeness made my breathing more pronounced. “Did you know that you have this glow about you when you drink? Your cheeks get all flushed and your eyes sparkle luminously. It’s very enchanting…” His voice trailed off as his nose found my neck, breathing me in like I had the most beautiful scent. Dear God, that was intoxicating… beautiful… excruciating… My thoughts were wiped from my mind when I felt his hot kiss sear my skin; soft, gentle and burning, making me shiver in anticipation. How did he taste? I wanted to feel his kiss… I gripped his shoulder as he pushed me against the wall. His arousal was hard against my hips. “Emma, Emma, Emma,” he whispered against my heated, sensitive skin, “what are you doing to me?” Good question because I had no fucking clue. “Bass? Emma? Are you two lovers ready to join us?” Martin’s voice called out. “Get your nosy self back inside, Martin!” Bass’s playful tone

made me laugh. “He better not think we’re doing something bad here,” I chided. It was the last thing I needed tonight. “The things I want to do to you are way past that. Bad is putting it mildly. I want to take you up against this wall, come inside you and walk back to the rest of the party with you marked by me. I want to smile at you from across the room while I talk to someone, knowing full well that I unloaded my seed inside you. I want you to feel it drip from your mound all through the night, reminding you that you are mine and only mine.” HOLY. MOTHER. He was one graphic man. He gently pushed against me as he studied my expression. “You like me. You’re even attracted to me,” his finger pointed at my heart, “but this is taken. As much as I want to take you and your exquisite body, I don’t think I could bear it if you were imagining another man buried inside you. Even if the only thing I can think of lately is… you. There is no other woman in my mind, no one else but you, Emma.” I was incoherent and voiceless as I stared back at his azure eyes, packed with emotions far too intense for me. “Bass, I do like you… but what you’re asking of me… it’s just too much—”

“I know,” Bass cut me off. “That’s why I’m not doing much about it.” How could he feel this much already? I thought as we strolled back towards the game room to join the rest of the party. ~E~

I was sipping my espresso and was about to take a bite of a mini Napoleon when someone directed their attention to me. “Do you act, Emma?” Martin Lombardo asked as he twirled his amber colored drink around his glass. Flushed, I placed the small Napoleon back on my dessert plate. “I was in drama class back in high school. It was nothing big or anything, a small play here and there.” Martin’s dark eyes perked up. “Small play? Come on, show us some of your craft!” he avidly suggested as the others joined along, encouraging me. My craft? Was he serious? Everyone here, except for his wife and I, were actors. I’d rather get hit by an eighteen wheeler than perform my mediocre high school acting skills in front of all those professionals. “Bass, help me out here!” I hissed at his smiling face. Sigh. “Martin, stop putting my darling on the spot. I promised to give her a good time.”

“We are having a good time, aren’t we all?” he asked everyone. Amused, he asked again, “Why don’t you read lines together? See how it goes? Come on, run along, kids!” Apparently, Bass conceded and he got up and held out his hand. “What do you say, baby? Let’s give these folks a show they’ll never forget!” Ah, shit, I thought as I let myself be pulled up by his strong arms. Martin got up and handed us each a paper. Bass was to be Logan—the son—and I, Angela—the married woman. My eyes skimmed through the lines as I heard Bass clear his throat. “Ready for me, baby?” Ha! “As ready as I’ll ever be!” David Shilling got up and jovially said, “Three, two, one and ACTION!” Logan: You’re married? How could you keep this from me? He growled, clearly pissed off; his emotions rolling off of him. Angela: I—I intended to, I swear, but there was never a good time. You were persistent and wouldn’t let me think for a second. It was too hard to resist you. I don’t have the power to say no to you, Logan. My voice shook as I looked at the man I loved. I went closer to him—felt his warmth—this man who arrested my soul and my very being.

Logan: But you should have! You’re fucking married! You’ve had plenty of time to say it. You could’ve said it when I was fucking you! You could’ve said it any fucking time, but you chose not to! He cussed as he paced back and forth, distraught. Logan: I don’t believe this. The woman I fell for is married to someone else. How could you do this to me? To us? You’ve betrayed me, Angela! He stopped pacing and yelled at me. His eyes pained, but full of love. For me and only me. Angela: You love me? I whispered as my heart soared, lifting me higher and higher. Logan: I have fucking loved you all this time. Since the first time you smiled at me, Angela. How could you not see that? Angela: Maybe I was afraid to look because your love would complicate things. God, I’ve been so stupid, Logan. I love you, too, but I don’t know how this will work out. My husband will kill me if he finds out that I’ve cheated on him. Logan moved closer and he held me in his arms. Logan: He doesn’t matter as long as we have each other. I would kill for you. I would die for you, Angela. That’s how much I love you. “And cut!” David Shilling called out. Everyone applauded, much to my relief! I just smiled at Bass.

He embodied the role quite well. Well, duh? He was an actor—an Oscar winner! “That was amazing, Em!” Bass beamed at me and gave me a huge hug, picking me up and twirling me around. “Thank you.” I shyly looked at him and his beaming smile. For a moment, we held each other’s gaze, something passed between us, but it was interrupted by everyone who wanted to chitchat. “Wow, Miss Emma Anderson! I am impressed,” Ross Maitland gushed. The older woman was an acclaimed actress, one of the highest paid in the industry, yet she was gushing at my mediocre acting and seemed to mean it, too. I warmed at her sentiment. “Thank you. That’s very sweet of you to say.” “You did a splendid job, Emma!” Martin expressed as he double-tapped my shoulder. I murmured my delighted thanks. “You both did quite superbly well…” I heard Martin trail off as I was taken by David Shilling into another conversation. After an hour of talking and drinking, Bass finally sat next to me. He had been busy with Martin for the last hour; I guessed talking about the movie and the trip to Greece. “Hanging in there?” Bass whispered in my ear making my entire body shiver. “Of course, everything okay?”

“There seems to be a problem with Samantha Knowles. Martin just got a call, I’m not sure yet what is going on. Anyway, everything seems to be winding down for the evening, want to head out soon?” “I thought you’d never ask.” As fun as it was to be surrounded by these lovely people, I just wanted to chill and relax with Bass.

“Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.”

~Unknown Author

Twelve “I told you tonight would be entertaining,” Bass said as he maneuvered the car into traffic. It was an epic night! “It was and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thank you.” “Do you have class tomorrow?” Bass quickly glanced at me as he shifted gears. He looked totally hot. He was hot! What did he ask me again? Class tomorrow… Wednesday… “Yeah, I have one at two in the afternoon. Why do you ask?” “I was hoping you would spend the night with me again. Nothing crazy or anything, I just liked how our last date went and frankly, I want you with me.” Direct. Forward. I liked that. “Sure, what do you have in mind?” Another memorable night with him, why the hell not? “I was thinking along the lines of movies and such. Are you game?” “Definitely game,” I responded as my eyes studied the man

beside me. How was I going to fight this drawing, pulling power that this attraction had over me? Sure, he kept refusing to kiss me, but if I turned on the heat and advanced on him, would he still refuse? I better not put myself in that position because what the hell would I do once Bass demanded things that I wasn’t able to fully comply with? Yeah, exactly. You better behave and keep those lecherous thoughts at bay. ~E~

We were in his fifteen seat movie theatre, looking through his movies. “What do you feel like watching?” he asked as he scrolled through the menu. “How about Tristan and Isolde? Have you seen the film?” “Nope, but have you seen it?” I looked back at him as I took off my pumps and sat back on the luxurious seat. “I’ve wanted to. So, I guess we’ll watch this one. Do you need something comfortable to wear?” he asked as he eyed my clothing. “You look hot, but I’d rather you wear something that doesn’t push my imagination into overdrive.” “Oh, so you find me HOT then?” I smiled, flirting.

He groaned and got up. “That’s it! Let’s get you changed and out of that sexy dress you’re in.” Bass offered me his hand. I laughed at his obvious discomfort. “I don’t have any clothes to change into. Well, unless you want me to walk around naked.” “YOU. ARE. A. TEASE,” he declared and swept me off my feet. He carried me out of the theatre and up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. My word, he’s strong, I thought as I hooked my arms around his neck. He gave me a smile, totally erasing any thoughts of anyone other than the very man himself. Bass quickly took me into his dark room. He carefully placed me on his bed and the only sound was the crisp ruffle of his sheets and our shallow, harsh breathing. In the dark, his silhouette was quite alluring, but his searing eyes probed into my soul. “Why does a person want what they can’t have?” he rasped out. His sudden question bewildered the hell out of me. “It is human nature.” My response, though lame, was the truth. I knew that; I was in that position with Carter. I sat up, trying to bring back sanity from my inconsistent thoughts of Bass. I knew I loved Carter, but I wanted to fucking kiss Bass. His lips were enticing, making me want and think things I shouldn’t even be considering. I wanted to taste and feel those sexy lips, to see if they promised ecstasy because they certainly looked

like it. Bass got up and pulled a shirt and a pair of boxers from his dresser drawer. “Here, try these on. The boxers are brand new.” “Thank you,” I murmured as he strode towards the bathroom and turned on the light. “Here you go. I’ll be downstairs. Call me if you need anything, okay? Anything.” I nodded in response as I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down, my throat too constricted to utter a reply. His dirty blond hair was all over the place and, by God, he just looked absolutely to die for! His azure eyes spoke volumes; desire and lust etched in his dilated orbs. “Thank you, Bass,” I croaked. When he left the room, I sighed with relief. My phone wasn’t with me so I couldn’t make a quick call to Lindsey. I didn’t know what was going on anymore; nothing made sense and I was at a loss for words. Once I was out of my dress, I put on his white shirt and black silk boxers then I went to study my reflection. I looked flushed and totally turned on. My senses were on high alert and I felt like my body was strung out with anticipation. Anticipating what, exactly? I have yet to find out, I thought wickedly, shaking my head. Hastily, I left the bathroom and sought out Bass.

While I had been changing upstairs, he was busy making popcorn and getting all sorts of snacks for us to enjoy during the movie. “You look good in my clothes, Emma,” he commented as his eyes flowed from my dainty, candy pink toes all the way up to my braless state and my flushed cheeks. “I got you a comforter and a pillow. Come sit with me.” He patted the cushioned seat next to him. “This is quite the dessert feast, especially after the meal we had at Lombardo’s,” I noted as my eyes roved over the food before me. There was wine, popcorn, grapes, chocolate-dipped strawberries, chocolates, chips, mini brownies and Hot Cheetos. I loved how he threw something in the mix that stood out from the rest. Last time it was the Ruffles chips, now it was Hot Cheetos. “I take it that the Hot Cheetos are yours?” I smirked as I sat next to him, legs crisscrossed as I cuddled under a soft down comforter. “I am more than willing to share them with you, my beautiful miss.” Bass beamed as he took out a remote and with one click, the lights shut off and the large screen before us came to life. I took a lengthy sip of my wine when he gathered me close and I rested my head on his chest. It was definitely comfortable, I mused.

When the movie rolled on, I was so engrossed by the starcrossed lovers that I felt gutted along with Tristan. What fated luck! To love someone the way he loved Isolde and to watch his beloved marry someone else. What luck indeed! By the time the movie ended, I was crying and out of sorts. I felt Bass tighten his hold on me as he lightly chuckled, his chest vibrating. “Oh, baby, you are the most adorable thing!” I just bet. I lightly punched him, but he kept on laughing at me. “You know, had it been another girl with me in here, they would’ve been busy feeling me up, trying to seduce me to get me into bed, but you—you don’t care much about me at all. You were stuck to the movie. I don’t know if I should be happy or insulted with that. You seem to have a knack for not making me feel so special and it’s invigorating.” I suddenly looked at Bass and wondered out loud, “Do you wonder what it would be like to kiss me? Because I am dying to know what it’s like to have your lips on mine, Bass.” His jovial demeanor vanished and changed to that ever so popular smoldering look of his. And boy, it was deadly… that look alone captivated me. “I have been meaning to, wanting to since the night I met you. Why do you ask, Emma? Are you ready to move on? Are you ready for me?” What a heavy loaded question… didn’t he do anything in small measures? “You know I’m not, Bass, but what’s wrong with kissing? It’s

only a kiss. I’m sure you’ve kissed hundreds of women without much thought. Why can’t you do the same with me?” I countered. “That’s the difference, my darling Emma. A kiss with you will never be considered ‘one of many’ and never ordinary. I can’t explain it without sounding irrational, but I can’t shake this intensity that’s taken hold of me. I’m fixated by you, for reasons I cannot fathom or distinguish, for that matter. It’s disconcerting and demoralizing to my psyche.” My sentiments exactly. I gathered him in my arms and hugged him because he just looked like he needed it. He was so deep in thought and so bothered as he spouted the words out. He really was beyond confused. I would have been, too, if I was freaking Bass Cole and could have any woman I wanted. And yet, here he was, fixated on me; a woman who loved another man. Didn’t make sense, did it? “This totally sucks, BC,” I murmured against his chest. “Totally… anyhow, feel like going for a night swim?” Bass asked me huskily. “I don’t have my swimsuit with me, genius!” He gave me a devilish smile. “Who said anything about clothing?” Bass continued, his question loaded with innuendo. He then cocked his eyebrow at me. Hmmm, swimming naked in the moonlight? Bass’s hot body for

all my senses to devour? Sounds…perfect. “Are you trying to get a peek at my goods, Mr. Cole?” He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it. “You know what, that’s not a great idea after all. You naked and wet will seriously kill any restraint I have.” “Oo, Bass Cole, unbridled and impetuous. I am curious and rather provoked.” “You’re my sweet torture do you know that, Emma? Put your imagination to rest because I think we should try to sleep.” He got up and made three of the seats lean backwards until it made some sort of bed. Wow, super neat. “So, we’re sleeping here, I take it? Why not in your bed, huh?” He jumped on our makeshift bed and gathered me in his arms. “The only time you will share my bed is when you’re willing to give me what I’m after. Until then, we stay away from it.” Odd, but I understood. “Are you always like this with women, Bass?” “Always like what?” “This difficult. I mean, how do you even manage to get laid if you don’t want women in your bed?” “I get women in bed just fine, Emma. The big difference is my

bed. I go to hotels if I need to fuck. It’s cleaner that way, faster to get away.” HAH. “Wham-bam thank you ma’am? Hm, I knew the playboy side of you was in there somewhere. For a second, I thought you were lost.” I smirked. “I love women, Emma. What can I say? I love every fucking thing about a woman. That’s why I can’t figure out why I’m so fixated on you. You’re beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but there are tons of beautiful women around me and I want to fuck them when the opportunity arises, but with you, it’s not as easy. I want to fuck you, but I can’t seem to even manage to kiss you. Isn’t that the most absurd thing you’ve ever heard?” “That is kind of weird,” I mumbled. “This might sound weird, but how old are you?” “I am twenty-three. Why, how old are you, Miss Emma?” His brows wiggled in question. “I am a woman of twenty.” For such a young age, he was quite accomplished. I was honestly a tad jealous about that. I guess my indecisiveness about what I wanted to do about my future took a toll on my self-esteem. I hated how other people knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. The only thing I knew growing up

was that I didn’t want to be a doctor. Period. Apart from that, I was so lost and admitting it didn’t make me happy at all. Bass stroked my hair. “Hey, I didn’t know my age would make you look so sad,” he tried to joke. “What’s wrong?” Shrugging, I sat up, opposite of his laid-out, relaxed position— looking like a sexy Abercrombie model. “It just dawned on me how jealous I am of you. I mean, in the sense that you seem to know what you want in life. I, on the other hand, have no fucking clue what my future holds.” Biting my bottom lip, I continued, “Do you think that’s pathetic? I’m twenty-years-old; aren’t I supposed to have had an epiphany by now or something?” “What did you love doing when you were younger? The only thing that helped you escape your reality and feel that you’d found solace and happiness in it and through it?” That’s easy to answer. “Reading and I loved my drama classes in high school.” “So, there’s your answer. Pursue a career that has to do with reading or drama. Why wait and ponder like a lost puppy?” “It’s not that easy, Bass! Not everyone has freaking connections like you do!” He looked offended. “Hey! I know I have good connections in the industry now, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to work hard for it. Do you think I didn’t have to work from the ground up? I had

to start somewhere and had to build up my acting credibility by taking odd jobs here and there; like getting paid minimum wage to be an extra in an Indie movie wearing a hotdog suit for twelve hours or being ridiculed for being an amateur from hotshot directors and well accomplished actors. “But you know what, Em? I took it in stride and brushed it off. As much as I hated it, I knew where it would lead me. All that hard work paid off in the long run. I didn’t give up because it was what I wanted to do. Passion is the fire that drives us to do the things we do. The reason we do the things we do. So, if your passion is reading and acting, then there it is. Go write or act without hesitation. Put your foot forward and give up your soul to your passion. It makes life worthwhile when you give your heart and soul to the things that are gratifying and priceless to you.” So much depth and profound meaning… “Gee, that was something. Thank you, though; I might just do that. Write or act, I mean. I’ll think it over.” “You should because life is meaningless if you live it half and half. Being whole should be your sole goal and ambition.” Half and half, is that what I’m doing? Weeding through my life… half and half? “So… you feel whole then?”

“Career wise, yes, but personally, I am getting there. One can’t have everything in life at the same time, but I am a patient man and I will figure it out sooner or later.” He was confident and knew what he wanted… “For such a young man, you seem to have it figured out.” “I had to. My parents were almost never there for me so I had to figure shit out on my own, you know?” “Oh, that must have been hard. Growing up in itself is hard, but having to figure out everything on your own must have been challenging.” Bass boyishly grinned at me. “I like that.” Dumbfounded, I asked, “Like what?” “That you didn’t say ‘sorry’ about my parents being absent. Most people do when I tell them.” His hands pulled me down next to him. We were lying down, face to face and I watched his azure eyes sparkle. “I really like you, Emma,” he declared. Oh, man. He was going in for the kill, yet again. “I really like you, too, Bass. I really do, but I’m not ready for anything more.” His eyes searched mine, without blinking. “Because you’re in love with the man from the apartment right?” An angry man to be precise.

“Yes,” I whispered back to him. “Why are you in love with him? What makes him special?” His gaze still probed, seeking answers. Fuck, what do I say to that? I’ve asked myself that before and couldn’t seem to find one good reason. Sure, Carter was dynamite in bed, but apart from that, what? He was sweet—from time to time—which wasn’t a consistent trait. So, what then? His rock-hard body and asshole attitude? We didn’t really talk much about anything in depth. For reasons I couldn’t fathom, though, I did love him. When he got hurt once during a soccer game against UCLA, he blacked-out for a good minute and I thought of never being with him again. I knew then that I loved him, much to my dismay. There was a lot of truth about what people said about falling in love with the wrong person. Your brain might have told you it was a horrible idea, but your heart ruled everything. It just did, plain and simple. “I can’t explain how or why I do, I just do. I remember that it just dawned on me one night. It’s been hell ever since.” “You don’t seem very happy about it,” this wise man observed. “No, I’m not. He’s not an easy man.” Hell no, Carter Mason was not easy! He was a walking

contradiction, for reasons about which I had no clue. “I understand.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Bass, let’s go for a swim? I feel restless.” “Seriously? It’s like three in the morning, Em.” I got up and left the movie theatre. “Last one there has a sore, hairy butt crack!” I yelled after him. ~E~

“Whoa, there!” Bass uttered as he saw me wiggle out of his boxers and hastily place them on the pool lounge. The moon was high and the City of Angels glittered before me; thriving, alive and so full of life! It really was beautiful here, especially at night. It looked downright riveting. The huge swimming pool looked too enticing to resist. The color matched Bass’s azure eyes. What was he waiting for anyway? The known bad boy was hesitant. “What’s wrong, Bass? Admitting that you have a sore, hairy butt crack?” I teased, but he was too stunned to reply. His blue gaze stuck to my skimpy thong-clad bottom. A jolt of excitement coursed through me as Bass took me in with his eyes. It was intoxicating and it made me feel beautiful. “Hello, earth to Bass Cole?” I waved both hands at him.

Bass cleared his throat. “I don’t think this is a good idea, Emma.” Yeah, right. I’m only young once and I want to live and let live. Who cared if I had my heart broken? Who cared if Carter didn’t love me? At least I was alive—alive and breathing and enjoying Bass Cole’s arousing countenance. I am grateful for life’s good blessings, I thought mischievously. “Why not? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve swam naked. In fact, it was your suggestion to skinny dip, if I recall correctly.” I pouted at him. Seriously, Bass looked like the epitome of a sex god. The way he would brood when he was in deep thought or the way he held his hands on his hips when he didn’t agree on something. Every single move he made just oozed of sex. Bass was potent with masculinity and I found it erotic and stimulating. According to most females, they felt this way about him, too. Furthermore, all that fame and power didn’t seem to get into his head. He was quite grounded and not stuck up, surprisingly enough. I didn’t know what precisely triggered my audacious attitude, but I felt like I had some kind of clarity. Maybe it was the tiny stint of acting in Martin Lombardo’s home or the talk I had with Bass or quite possibly the wine talking, but it didn’t matter because I felt fan-fucking-tastic!

“Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she’s beautiful but don’t have anything to talk about, it’s going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person.”

~Amanda Peet

Thirteen “Emma, I’m telling you again, this is not the wisest of ideas,” Bass croaked out. I merely shrugged as I pulled the hem of my shirt, lifting it upwards and off. I turned around to face Bass. “Ready to swim?” “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Emma Anderson,” Bass taunted me as he placed a bottle of vodka and his phone at the edge of the pool. I just gave him a seductive smile. Without breaking eye contact, he took off his clothes—all of them. What was a skinny dip if one didn’t take it all off? I gasped as Bass pulled down his boxers and stepped out of them. “Is it up to your approval, my darling?” he amorously asked me. Cocky. I couldn’t help but lick my lips and I tried to drag my eyes

away from his... He actually laughed at my embarrassment before diving into the pool. I watched him swim a few laps before he came up for air. I made sure to stay in the deep end, choosing distance. We were on opposite ends of the pool. “Scared of me already?” he called out as his hands leisurely skimmed through the warm water. “Hell no; should I be?” I asked. He was daring me to come closer, so I did. I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he guzzled the bottle of Vodka. “You’re not going to share that? What a greedy man you are, Bass,” I teased and then settled myself right next to him, our arms touching. “I’ll share whatever you want me to share, little lady,” he retorted back as he handed me the bottle of vodka, eyes zeroed in on my lips as I placed the bottle opening to them, threw my head back and took a quick gulp. I couldn’t help but shiver. “Argh!” I muttered as I placed the bottle back on the white cobbled floor, next to his phone. “Bass, are you nervous?” I leaned close to him. Wanting him to kiss me, touch me, something! Without answering me, he went under water and swam away from me. When he came up for air, he swam towards the middle

side of the pool and stared out at the city. I couldn’t help following him. He let out a soft moan when I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He grabbed my waist and drew me into him, pressing my back against the pool wall. Face to face, we stared at each other, both hearts on a wild stampede. With the searing power of his eyes, he caressed me— slowly, decisively and acutely. Then, he said the sweetest thing. “Exquisite, so lush and pure Will you taste as sweet as I have dreamt you to be? I’m staggered by your magnetism, your beauty and your truth— Will I captivate you as you have done me? Sweet Emma, your name alone, spoken from my lips gives me enough sweetness Savored and cherished as one should be.”

He buried his head in my neck and softly bit it. I moaned and threw my head back, exposing my neck to give him full access to it. “Bass,” I gasped out his name. From the base of my throat, his hot tongue snaked out and licked my wet skin all the way to my chin. His hand found my nipple and he placed it between his thumb and finger, twisting it back and forth as he sucked on my neck and bit into it as my legs locked on

his hips. “I want… Bass… your lips… kiss me,” I pleaded, breathless. MY hips grinded against him and my scantily covered, hot mound rubbed against his naked cock. He panted against my neck and I became determined with my grinding. I felt the hazy lust-filled moment that blanketed us; leave him when we heard his phone ring. Bass cursed. Kissing my forehead, he unlatched my legs from his waist and swam towards his ringing phone. I heard him say, “This better be important, Papa.” Bass pulled himself out of the pool and walked out of earshot. I drug myself out of the pool and laid in one of the lounge chairs, awaiting his return. “Emma?” I heard Bass call out. “Yes?” Strolling towards me, Bass sat on the edge of the lounger. “That was Martin. He’s wondering if you’re interested in replacing Samantha in the film.” I sat up. “Shut up!” Bass shrugged and smiled. “If you say so.” My mouth hung open. “Martin wants me? But I fucking suck compared to other actresses. I’m an amateur, what could I possibly offer?” “Chemistry, he said we crackled with it.” He

reached out and stroked my calf. “Martin is known for picking out fresh faces and he has an eye for making a hit. He thinks you and I will be a hit. That alone proves how much he wants you to be onboard. Will you do it, Em? Filming doesn’t start until summer time anyway.” “Bass, are you crazy? Of course, I want to do it! It’s a fucking Martin Lombardo film. I am not dense; I recognize that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but what I’m worried about is… I don’t want to disappoint any of you guys. This is major for me. I’m psyched and freaked out at the same time.” “Baby, look at me,” he requested. “You’re great. I’m not saying this just because I feel like I should, but you were fantastic. Didn’t we just speak about you following your dreams? Well, this is it. It’s the universe calling out to you and handing you this amazing opportunity. What other fantastic way to debut your acting skills other than being the lead actress in a Martin Lombardo film?” “I don’t know.” I shook my head and let out a long breath. “Can you guys give me until the weekend to think it over?” He shook his head. “Martin needs your answer by nine this morning.”

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.”

~Danny Kaye

Fourteen Nine in the morning?! That’s like five hours from now, more or less! Bass was right on one thing though, what better way to debut myself than to do a Lombardo film? However, amazing as the idea was, I couldn’t help feeling frightened. What if my acting was subpar? What if they hated it? Would I be able to handle acerbic reviews and comments angled towards me by critics? My heart was galloping. It was already heightened from making out with Bass, but then it had skyrocketed to an unparalleled level. I was agitated and in dire need to speak to someone other than Bass. First, I needed to be alone to soothe my nerves then I would call Lindsey. Yes, I would call my friend even at this ungodly hour. I was in dire need of a 911 emergency therapy discussion. “Do you mind if I go shower?” I asked Bass. He looked a bit confused about my question. I was sure he wasn’t expecting me to

say something so random, but I felt like I needed a hot shower. Right now. PRONTO. “Go ahead and feel free to use my bathroom upstairs. You know where everything is. There is an extra toothbrush in the second drawer on the left and there are soaps and shampoos in the shower, use whatever you need.” I hesitated a second before I leaned over and gave Bass a peck on the cheek and hastily left the pool area. I knew it was stupid to hesitate after what we were doing a few minutes ago, before we got interrupted by Martin, but I was beyond confused. Why wouldn’t Bass kiss me? It seemed like the more I pushed him to do it, the more he hesitated. Well, he could keep his kisses ‘cause his licking and biting sure as hell got me hot and bothered in no time. I knew girls shouldn’t compare, but I couldn’t help doing it. Carter was awesome, but I felt like with Bass, it would be explosive. I had concluded this after that teeny, tiny stint in the pool? Hell yes! I felt it—in my bones and in my core. God only knew what would’ve happened if we hadn’t gotten interrupted. I wanted to see Bass lose control. Crazy, wasn’t it? I wanted the real him unleashed and unbridled. I wanted the real man behind the controlled restraints. I had a quick glimpse of it and I wanted to see more. I thought.

I made a quick stop at the movie theatre to fetch my belongings. It was weird that I felt right at home here. I barely knew him and yet here I was—not feeling awkward at all. Walking upstairs in my barely clad state, my mind boggled as I went to his room on auto-pilot. Per his instructions, I found a toothbrush and immediately took care of brushing my pearly whites while I went to turn on his shower, making the water as hot as I could stand it. When I jumped in, my eyes surveyed the selection of hair care products and shower gels I had to choose from. Amused, I scoured for his scent amongst the scented selections. After a few tries, I figured he was a Lime Basil & Mandarin kind of guy. You’d think lime and basil would be an icky combination, but nope! It was alluringly sexy and zesty at the same time. The smell was so him and I contemplated inhaling the damn scented shower gel until I passed out. I’d much rather smell it on him, of course, but that was a close second. After my quick shower, I wrapped my head with a towel and covered my body with another one. The screen on my phone read 4:24 am. I bit my lip nervously before I hit dial. I was about to give up after a few rings, but thank heavens, the woman managed to pick up before I ended the call. “Do you need someone to bail you out? Which station?” Lindsey grumbled as she made a loud, noisy yawn.

“This is not Amber calling, babe. I know you’re probably half asleep, but I need to talk to you. It’s a 911.” After a full minute, I thought she passed out on me. “Sorry, had to pinch myself to wake up. What’s up?” Lindsey asked with another yawn. Yeah, buddy, thanks for making me feel guilty for waking you up! “Okay, well, we both know I went to Martin Lombardo’s place tonight, right?” “Who would forget about tonight after Carter’s impersonation of a growling bear?” Lindsey asked amusingly. Right, Carter’s growling. What the hell? Mentally shaking my head, I continued my story, “Well, Martin insisted for Bass and me to read lines tonight and half an hour ago, he called out of the blue and offered me the lead in a movie that he’s going to be filming this summer with Bass. Martin needs my answer by nine in the morning, that’s in a few hours. I’m calling because I don’t know what to do, Lindsey! I mean, I want to do it, but I don’t want to embarrass myself either. You know?” “Hold up; Martin Lombardo offered you to star in his movie with Bass and you’re fucking thinking this over?” Lindsey asked hysterically. She started blabbering, “Okay, I get why you’re hesitating, going from your high school drama classes to the big screen. I get that this is a big, BIG deal for you, but Emma, Martin

Lombardo himself offered you the role! He must believe you’re good or good enough for him to even consider you. So do me a favor and stop it with this boo-hoo party you’re giving yourself because you’re going to be a movie star, BABY! Get that? A. MOVIE. STAR. Ahhhh! I knew you were going places with that angelic beauty of yours, Em, but an actress? That’s incredible!” “It’s great and all, but what if I embarrass myself or my family? Do you know how much this is scaring me? I would be devastated if I became an embarrassment to everyone I know. What if I let Lombardo or Bass down?" I voiced out my fears. “I don’t want to give it my all and not be good enough. I don’t think I have it in me to be butchered by the rest of the country or better yet, the rest of the world! God, the thought alone sends me into overdrive and I might just end up in a mental hospital.” “That overactive imagination of yours will really send you into a psych ward if you keep going on like this! I don’t know why your confidence lacks sometimes because you fucking ROCK, girlfriend! Besides, if you ditch this, do you want to go on forever wondering ‘what if?’ Think about that because I sure as hell don’t want a big fucking ‘what if’ in my life.” Lindsey, the voice of reason. “Geez, a big ‘what if,’ huh? Well, maybe you should check out Brody Thompson then, girlfriend, because from where I’m standing, the man is a big hot ‘what if’ to me.”

Lindsey huffed on the other end. “Whatever. I have to go back to sleep ’cause I have a stupid quiz first thing this morning. Just remember that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Emma. This is like one of those opportunities that are life changing and can undoubtedly alter your universe. This is it, Emma Anderson. It’s your time to shine. I just want to tell you—either way—that I’m proud of you. Okay fuck it! I will be prouder if you do take the damn role, woman! Imagine all those award shows and the free goodies that come along with it. Accept the role before I smack some sense into you, comprende?” As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Heck yes, failure is not fatal. Yet, I don’t want a big ‘what if’ haunting me. “All right, Lindsey Mason, you’ve finally gotten through to me. Now, go sleep and ace that quiz of yours. I will call you tomorrow after the meeting, okay?” “Damn straight! Now you owe me some tacos and margaritas. Over and out.” I so do, I thought with a smile. After a quick goodbye, we ended the call. Feeling convinced and assured, I strolled towards the bedroom to get a new shirt and boxers. I chose all white this time. I mean, there was only black and white to choose from. Why didn’t he

wear any other color? I bet he would look gorgeous in blue, especially with those eyes of his. I found Bass in the theatre on the makeshift bed he made earlier, lounging in a pair of white drawstring pants and nothing else. His blond hair was wet and when I got closer, I breathed in the scent of his intoxicating shower gel. Dammit, it smelled much more delicious on him. Without thinking, I traced the ridges of his tanned, steel abs with my forefinger, feeling the smoothness of his skin that was hot on my skin. Boy, he felt wonderful in all his steely, hard muscled goodness. Bass groaned as my finger went a little lower, an inch above the top of his pants. He immediately grabbed my hand and kissed each of my fingers as he laughed. Tingles reverberated all through me. “As great as that feels, I can’t let you go on. Tell me though, have you thought about it?” Bass inquired. He sure was eager to know. ”Well…” I teased, smiling at him. “Yes? No? Come on, Emma. You can’t miss out on this opportunity! Not only will it be awesome, but imagine spending all that time with me in Greece. We can explore the islands when we aren’t filming; get to know the culture and the history. You’re going

to love Greece, it’s beautiful. I’ve been there once and it was marvelous! I want to see it again, with you. Bass Cole, I think you’ve just disarmed me. The picture he just painted was pure bliss. “How long will we be out there?” He grabbed my hand and started to caress it. “Three months— possibly four–depending on how well it goes. I believe the privately owned island is somewhere on the Aegean Sea and is small. I think it has a population of roughly one thousand.” Three to four months with Bass. That’s ninety to a hundred and twenty days with him. That’s a long… long time… on an island… a beautiful Greek island… with a beautiful man. Hmmm, what to do? “Well, that’s quite a long time, you know?” I teased as he shifted me onto my back and positioned his super sexy body atop mine. Yes, yes, yes! my mind rejoiced. “Say yes!” he commanded with a lopsided grin, exposing his sexy dimples. Gah! “Um,” my voice trailed off when I felt his hand slide inside my shirt and caress my side. Was it wrong of me when I ‘accidentally’ opened my legs a tad wider to accommodate him better? His blue eyes became dilated as they looked into mine. “You feel like silk,” he rasped out as his hand moved a little higher. I

pushed my hips against his and found out how aroused he really was. Bass hissed from my bold gesture. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be touching you this way. It’s too early for you.” Are you for real dude? Come on! “Don’t you think that’s for me to decide?” Bass kissed my nose and held my chin. “No. I’m not taking you while you’re in love with Carter.” Well, there goes my sex drive, thank you. If that’s how he felt, then there was no way we were going to have sex anytime soon. Bummer. “I see… then I guess it would help if you didn’t make me all aroused then?” “Promise it won’t happen again.” He moved to the side, got the remote, turned off the lights then gathered me in his arms. How could he just turn me down like that? He was all relaxed and here I was, uncomfortably wet and turned on. How annoying was that? “Tell Martin ‘yes’ when he calls.” His strong arms pulled me tighter against his chest. “You won’t regret this, Emma. This will open a lot of doors for you, just you wait and see.” I didn’t doubt it. I just hoped that I could handle all of it. “I’m going to call my agent first thing in the morning and take

care of that for you. Barbara will take you on and she has a great team with her. So, go to sleep. I’ll figure everything out before you wake up tomorrow morning.” Sigh, I couldn’t continue brooding while he was being all nice. “Thank you. You don’t have to, really, but still, thank you for arranging it for me.” “No worries. Just don’t forget to thank me when you’re accepting your first statue though.” Bass chuckled. Ha! “I’ll be leaving for Canada in a week to film the third KOC movie. I really needed the good news.” He’s leaving in a week? What?!!! “You never once mentioned that. How long will you be gone?” I felt hurt for some reason. He never said a word! “Six months,” he grunted and nuzzled the crook of my neck. “Saying it out loud would have made it real. I like spending time with you and I’m not ready to go, but I have to. I apologize for not telling you any sooner.” Shit. I guess it was a good thing we didn’t have sex or anything to complicate things. He was leaving after all. “That’s your job, your life, Bass. You don’t have to say sorry about that.” I knew how much he loved his job and I sure as hell wasn’t going to interfere.

“I know; that’s why I wanted you to get the role Martin offered. I think it would be the best thing for us both. You get to see if acting is something you’d want to pursue and I get to be around you every single day.” Man, he was really serious about me. How long would that last, I wondered. “Trust me, Bass. You’ll get bored seeing me every day after a week. You’ll be running in the other direction afterwards.” I smirked at the thought, picturing him running away from me like he did when he was trying to avoid his fans. I guessed only time would tell… His arms squeezed me tighter as he let out a long sigh. “May you have the sweetest amongst the sweetest dreams, my dear Emma.” Sweetest dreams, indeed.

“Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit.”

~Mary Lou Retton

Fifteen “I’ve read through the contract and let me just say that you’ve been given an excellent deal.” Barbara Schwartz eyed me through her gold-rimmed glasses. How she read through hundreds of pages in such a short time was beyond me. Barbara was at Bass’s house at eight in the morning, looking like an agent straight out of that show Entourage. She was quick, sharp, and straight to the point. She also brought a lawyer with her named Sammy Chang, a hoity-toity stunning Asian woman. Sammy never once cracked a smile. And she was to be my lawyer? Bass assured me that she was as sharp as shark teeth. That I did not doubt for a second. “You’re to be paid a million dollars and might get more if the movie does great in the box office,” Sammy Chang stated. “One million?” I parroted. That’s a lot of money for an amateur like me. Shit, I better not let Martin and the studio down. “Samantha Knowles was going to be paid ten. You got half because you’re new in the industry and most people like you usually

get half a million max. To say this deal is excellent is an understatement,” Sammy said matter-of-factly. I was new and inexperienced, so I understood. I nodded and took a big gulp of my lemonade. “Let’s go over the important details of the contract.” Barbara looked at me as she opened a portfolio. “Do you have any reservations about being filmed in the nude?” I shook my head. I guessed not? Barbara gave me a curt nod. “Good, because this film is centered around the woman cheating on her husband. They want the scenes to be as erotic as they can get. After all, the title of the movie is Blasphemous so nudity is to be expected. I agreed, “Of course.” Barbara paused for a second while she stared at me. Blinking a few times, she shot out, “Moving on; your hair needs to be longer so no haircuts, just an itsy bitsy trim. There’s a mandatory health screening to make sure you’re not going to drop dead once filming starts. Three months before the shoot, you have to see a fitness trainer and a yoga instructor twice a week. The yoga will make you more limber for the sex scenes. Speaking of which, there’ll be five sex scenes and you will be baring all your naked glory. So you see why they indicated it in bold lettering that you see a personal trainer? They don’t want any love handles. That would kill the film.

If you still have any, we can do liposuction, but from what I can see with your figure, you’re in good shape. I’d rather be safe than sorry, though. “You will also be assigned an acting coach during this time—if you so wish it. I advise that you also hire a dietician for your daily intake of calories. You are obligated to do all the promotional tours —radio, magazine and television interviews. If you don’t comply with that, you will get sued. Do you have any aversion to waxing all the hair on your groin?” Barbara inquired in such a serious tone; you’d think we were plotting to invade Iraq. I wanted to laugh but instead, I shook my head. “No.” “Good. Since you’re new, I advise that you comply with each and every demand they make and do everything they ask of you. You can make your own demands later on when you’ve made it in the industry. Do you have any questions, Ms. Anderson?” A whole fucking lot! Five—FIVE SEX SCENES! How did that escape Bass’s notice? Instead I said, “I think you’ve covered all the bases. Where do I sign?” I grabbed Barbara’s expensive gold pen. By the looks and feel of it, the pen was probably made of real freaking gold. After what seemed like an endless amount of paperwork, we were finally done. We had been at it for more than an hour and I was ready to sign on the dotted line to get it over with.

“I will also need you to sign one more contract that states I will be your agent and so forth. I’ll call you later on next week.” “Yes, that would be good,” I responded as both women got up. “I would stay longer to go over any questions you may have, but I have a plane to catch. I need to save one of my clients from joining a cult in Ohio. I don’t normally accept just anyone, but you were recommended by Bass so it was already a done deal.” No smiles here. What was wrong with these women? They were both so automated and stuck-up. Were they acting like this because I was no one special? More than likely. “Thank you for that.” Sort of. Barbara Schwartz nodded as we shook hands. “Welcome to Hollywood.” With that, they both strutted out of the house and off to Ohio. I sat back down and stared at the horizon. I just signed! I WAS IN! All sorts of emotions washed over me. I hoped that I would rock this Angela character because if I didn’t, I didn’t think I would ever be able to forgive myself. Sighing, I got up and looked for Bass. “Hey!” Finally, I found him in the kitchen making a protein shake. “Hey, yourself! Did it go well? I didn’t want to interrupt—

that’s why I left you alone out there.” I didn’t know if it was the time to bring up the sex scenes or not. Maybe I was overreacting; maybe if I weren’t an amateur this would be a piece of cake. The thought of being in the scenes with Bass made my temperature rise. “It was good. Lots of paperwork.” And lingering thoughts of your hot bod on mine and all sorts of illicit ideas… I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle it. Bass gave me a dimpled smile. Too hot… he was too hot. “Martin just called to congratulate you, but you were still out on the patio with the ladies. He’d like to meet us for lunch to celebrate. Do you feel like going out?” “I’d love to, but I have to get back to school. I don’t want to miss class. Can I get a rain check for next week?” Not really, but I wanted to be alone for now. This was a massive deal to me. I needed to make a quick visit to see my parents to tell them about this. “Sure, that’d be great! Let me know when you want to leave. I’m ready whenever you are,” Bass said as he kissed my forehead. Gawd! I wanted to hang on to him for another second, but he moved away. ~E~

After class, Lindsey and I agreed to meet up at the coffee shop because she was in between classes and couldn’t wait to get back to our place before I spilled all the details. So, I spilled. Everything. “One mil? And you have Bass Cole hot on your heels? I hate you!” Lindsey came over and rained me with smacking kisses. “You’re going to kill that role; you know that, right?” I sure hoped so. “I will try or die trying,” I said sheepishly. Lindsey’s overexcited bubble was contagious. “There’s a party tonight at Carter’s house. I think we should go and celebrate. “Um, have you forgotten that your brother despises me?” “Pft. Yeah, right! He doesn’t despise you, he wants you all to himself. It’s a big party tonight, so you might not even run into him.” That was plausible. I had planned to drive back to Ojai and see my parents… but… I guessed I could ditch that idea and do it later this weekend. “All right, but don’t tell anyone, okay? Let’s just keep it between us for now. I’m not ready to be bombarded with questions and gossip.” Lindsey pinched my cheek. “Your secret is safe with me. Party starts at eleven. We should grab some dinner somewhere fancyshmancy tonight. I’ll be back by six and we’ll leave at seven. Tata!”

After Lindsey left, I stayed and finished my coffee. I couldn’t help -feeling great! I supposed Bass was right. It was my time to shine. ~E~

“The girls aren’t joining us?” I asked Lindsey as she studied the menu with intensity. “We’ll meet up with them later on. Tonight’s just our date night. We have so much to catch up on and I doubt you’d appreciate me grilling you about your new movie role with Cece around. Ah, can’t wait to see her reaction when she learns about it!” She gave me an evil smile and went back to studying the menu some more. “What’s the story between you and Cece, anyway?” I asked after the waiter took our orders. “Would you be shocked if I told you that Cece and I used to be best friends, but ended our tight knit friendship during freshmen year?” I choked on the little piece of buttered bread I just swallowed. With a big hefty gulp of water, I asked flabbergasted, “You and Cece were BFFs? That’s like mixing oil and water. I don’t believe you!” She merely shrugged and looked thoughtful for a moment. “We

were—until she slept with the guy I was so in love with.” Ouch. What a back-stabbing bitch! “That does sound like good ol’ Cece to me.” “Yeah, she was always like that, but I didn’t think for a second she would go for mine. I mean, she knew I loved him for so long, you know? And she was my best friend. When rumors flew that they hooked up, I was heartbroken. Not only did I lose my best friend, but I lost my first love, too—unrequited love—but still, it counted to me.” How stupid could that guy be? He chose Cece over Lindsey? Come. On. That was like choosing good quality over used goods. Gah, men and their stupidity. “Good riddance to both of them. It’s not like the guy was worth it. In fact, he was downright obnoxious.” With a strawberry margarita in hand, she smiled at me. “Precisely, that’s why Brody is out of the question.” Brody sexed it up with Cece over Lindsey? What a douche lord! Maybe he needed to get his eyesight checked. “Well, color me shocked. I didn’t think good boy Brody cranked his tractor towards whore-aholic women.” Mean of me to say, yeah, but everyone that knew Cece knew how much she got around. I was just calling it like it was. “Enough about me, let’s talk about you and your exciting life!

Have you concocted a plan yet?” I looked at her confused. She smacked my hand that was on the table. “Hello? On how to get him into bed? Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted to? A nun would be tempted to leave her convent for a quick roll in the hay with that fine man.” “What’s the point? He’s leaving a week from today.” That thought alone sobered me up. No more Bass and his toe-curling smiles. Or his deep husky laugh. Or his smoldering eyes. Yeah, I was going to really miss him. “Fuck. That seriously sucks! Maybe you two can figure something out, you know?” she enlightened me. “We’ll see. Let’s not talk anymore about Bass or the movie—” “Good, idea! It’s already forgotten!” she interjected without letting me finish my sentence. One of the finest things I liked about Lindsey was that she just got me. So, for the next two and a half hours, we discussed everything else, catching up with each other’s lives and enjoying each other’s company. By the time we got to Carter’s party, the alcohol in my system was working in full-swing. I was swaying my hips to the loud music before I even managed to get inside. I did have something to celebrate, after all. “Oh, fucking shit!” Lindsey cursed as I was breaking through

the crowd behind her. I stopped as soon as I heard her. “What?” I asked, looking at her before I followed where her eyes strayed. Oh fucking shit was just about right. It was Carter, sitting like a fucking mighty king in his own kingdom while some insipid bitch gave him a lap dance. The music of Pitbull thumped loudly from the speakers and the bitch was moving her ass in the air, jiggling it exaggeratingly. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry. The whole thing was fucking unbelievable! It was, until Carter saw me. While the bitch was humping and grinding herself all over him, Carter’s unwavering eyes were trained on me. “Let’s go!” Lindsey spoke next to me. I knew I needed to move, but for some odd reason, I wanted to watch and see how far Carter would take the scene he had going on for everyone to see. “I’m fine. You go and look for the girls. I want to see where your brother will take this nice demonstration of his.” Lindsey’s jaw hung ajar. “You’re insane!” she hissed. I merely shrugged. When she realized that I was serious, she left me to watch the real Carter in action. I thought the teeny, tiny skirt was enough display but no, no the woman actually took off her top and skirt and was only wearing her

matching fire-engine red bra and thong. She then hooked her flimsy skirt around Carter’s neck as she pulled him to her breasts. The guys hooted and clapped while the bitch became deliriously excited. Disgusted, I decided to stop looking when the hooker took off her bra. When I got outside to get air, I received a text message from Bass. Bass: You may be out of my sight and far from my reach... but you are certainly never out of my mind... Goodnight, my sweet Emma. Oh, my word. I think I was hyperventilating. Why the hell didn’t I meet him before Carter came along? I would’ve jumped on Bass’s bones in a heartbeat. “Emma!” I stilled when I heard Carter yell my name. What did he want? If he was looking for a quick lay, he’d be better off with the skank inside. Without turning around, I asked, “What do you want, Carter? If you’re looking for a lap dance from me, you’re shit out of luck.” “I followed you out here because I wanted to see you. How are you doing?” Carter inquired. Was he for real? How am I doing? WTF! “I am doing fan-freaking-tastic. Now, will you leave me be?” I screeched, immediately walking towards the beach. I knew it was

dark and all, and probably not a great idea to walk around alone, but I needed to get away from him. Carter was simply infuriating and I couldn’t stand being so close to him. “Why do you keep running away from me?” the dense man asked from behind me. Sigh. Honestly? “You’re an ass. You’re selfish, inconsiderate, cold, infuriating, insensitive and the list goes on and on. Now, will you please go away?” Carter hurried his stride to catch up, then stood before me, lifted my chin with his forefinger and gently kissed me. Before I had time to think, he pulled away. “If that’s what will make you happy, then I’ll leave you alone, but I am going to watch you from here because it’s dark and I don’t want a bunch of drunkards anywhere around you while you’re all alone, understood?” I nodded as I considered his suggestion. Carter kept to his promise. He did leave me alone but I could feel his searing gaze from where I sat, staring across the Pacific Ocean.

“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Sixteen “Wake up, Emma!” Lindsey shook me. God, how many times did this woman need to wake me up during the week? “Go pester other people, Linds,” I grumbled against my pillow as I tried to shut her giddy tone out of my mind. Sleep…. please come back to me, I pleaded. “You’re such a grump! I need a favor and you have no choice but to say YES,” Lindsey Mason demanded in her own cute way. I ducked under my pillow and yelled, my voice muffled, “You want to borrow my car, go ahead. You need to borrow something from my closet, I don’t care. Honestly, do whatever you like as long as you leave me alone so I can sleep!” “Sorry, doll face, but my favor will take up your entire weekend. We’re going to Lake Tahoe.” “Lindsey! Look at me!” I sat up with my eyes barely cracked open as I pointed at my sleepy face. “Do I look like I want to go on a road trip? No? Good because I don’t want to go. Lake Tahoe is like an eight-hour drive. Nothing you could say or do would make

me change my mind—well, unless it’s a ‘do or die’ situation, then I just might reconsider.” I flopped back on the bed and sighed as I closed my eyes. Finally! Sleep! I rejoiced, but it was short-lived. “I’ve been sleeping with Cooper for the last six months, but I accidentally slept with Brody last night. And all of us are all going to Lake Tahoe, as we’ve been planning for, like, the last three months. I need your help like so badly!” she rambled. Like, she really loved using that word—wait! Cooper Haze and Brody Thompson? Whoa! Talk about double hotness overkill! “Like, holy shit, Lindsey Mason! What? What!!! Cooper? Cooper is like even worse than your own brother! Does Carter know? He’s going to murder him. And my God! You slept with Brody? What the hell are you going to do now?” My mind ran through a few scenarios, none of them were any good. “I know! This is something I wasn’t expecting, Em. I mean, Cooper was just a good lay, but lately he’s been wanting to make it official. He’s even willing to talk to Carter about it. I think that happened because Brody spoke to Carter about wanting to date me and Carter gave Brody his seal of approval. Now Cooper is, like, jealous about it.” What a holy mess. “Wow—just wow. I knew there was some inner prowess in

there, but I wasn’t prepared for Lady Godiva. Wow, I am in a state of shock, babe.” I really was shocked beyond comprehension. Lindsey Mason and Cooper Haze? Hold up. “Hey, weren’t you the one who said Cooper Haze had the ‘triple ew’ factor?” She rolled her eyes and smacked me with a pillow. “God, Emma! Come on, let’s admit that Cooper is hot. I was a little tipsy and he just looked way too delicious to refuse and from then on, it just kept going, you know?” Uh- huh. Of course it did. “Are you in love with Cooper?” Lindsey shook her head no. That was a good sign, right? “Okay, who do you like best then?” I asked as she chewed on her nail. I lightly smacked her hand away from her teeth. I hated the sight of chewed up nails; it was a total pet peeve of mine. “I don’t know. I’ve always had a crush on Brody, you know. I don’t even remember how old I was exactly when I realized that I loved the man. So, I guess I’ve always loved him. I mean, always—to the point where I threw myself naked at him—but he refused me and told me I was a ‘little girl.’ Now that Cooper wants to see where this is all going, Brody wants to date me, but the whole Cece thing kind of kills it for me. It’s really confusing, Em. I don’t know what to do.” Freakin’ Cece! “I guess I should say, may the best man win! Ooo, how juicy is this? Your life is officially a soap opera.” Lindsey just rolled her

eyes at me. If I had to guess, I bet she was feeling like she really was in a soap opera. Two hard-headed males vying for her, pulling her in all sorts of directions. How hot and frustrating would that be to watch? Uh… sort of sounds like your life, too, right? Shit. I forgot for a second. Ha! “You’re going with me, right?” Lindsey pouted, looking at me all doe eyed, pleading and begging for me to say yes. Damn. Those eyes were quite convincing. “Sure, what are friends for?” I mumbled. A very long weekend with Carter, how taxing could that be on my sanity? ~E~

“All set, doll?” Amber asked as she took a peek in my room. “Almost, give me a sec,” I called without looking back to Amber as I folded my clothes and placed them in my small getaway bag. She threw something and it landed on my bed. “Bass has called, like, twice now. Go pick it up. We’ll be waiting downstairs when you’re ready. Don’t be long though, and oh, tell him I said hi.” Amber winked and left me to get the call. Picking it up, I spoke, “Hello?” “All packed and ready?” Bass asked.

I smiled at the sound of his voice. “Yes, you could say that. Are you all packed for Vancouver?” I couldn’t believe he’d be gone for six months. I was saddened knowing I wouldn’t be able to see him for such a long time. “I’m not leaving until Wednesday, Em. I still have a few days to pack and stuff. Anyway, I just called to say have a safe trip and I will see you before I leave for Vancouver.” “Great, I’ll see you then. Be safe and have a great weekend.” He would be hitting the Hollywood party circuit, no doubt. Bass got invited everywhere and he’d probably hit it a little hard this weekend before he left for Canada. “I want to say the same, but I honestly don’t want you to have too much fun with your ex. Just be safe, all right? Do take care, my sweet Emma. Bye.” “Bye,” I whispered, feeling a little deflated. I knew it was crazy, I’d known him barely a week, but he seemed to have grown on me. Bass’s approach to life was different and I found it invigorating. He was such a remarkable man. I grabbed my things and headed out the door. There were about twenty people meeting us in Tahoe. I looked around for Amber, Trista and Cece to ask if I could ride with them so I didn’t have to ride with Carter. They were parked behind Carter’s black Escalade and I could tell that there wouldn’t be any room for me. I

guessed I was riding with Carter, Lindsey and her sexy boy toys. The man himself was in the driver’s seat and the seat next to him was empty. Brody, Lindsey and Cooper sat in the back—all three of them were silent and broody. Ha. I guessed I would be sitting in the front seat then? Sigh. “Sorry I took so long,” I apologized as I opened the door. Carter immediately got out of the car and took my bag. “Thank you,” I said kindly as he went to the back of the SUV and shoved it in the trunk. After four hours of a completely silent ride, I knew some serious stuff was brewing in the back. Carter tried to engage Brody or Cooper to talk, but none of them were speaking. After several attempts, Carter cranked the music up to fill the silence. It was better that way, I supposed. He, himself, barely glanced at me. Still mad, was he? Well, tough. I could ignore him all the same. Although his nearness was almost killing me, I could pretend that he didn’t bother me one bit. When my phone vibrated, I was relieved to have something to do. It was a message from Bass. He sent me the picture of us that had been on the cover of the gossip magazines, the one where I’m looking up at him with a huge smile pasted on my face, the one I looked happy in. There was a silly caption underneath it. Bass: I guess someone is finally ‘star-struck’?

Ha. Sure. Me: Wishful thinking, aren’t we, Mr. Bass? Smiling widely, I typed the message. I loved the playful side of Bass. Bass: Indeed, Ms. Emma. Indeed, I am… can’t get your smile out of my mind. Did you cast a spell on me? For there is no other alternative reason for this raging delirium. I bit my lip as I tried to conjure a response. Did I cast a spell on him? Ha. Me: No witchcraft involved. Sorry to disappoint. Indeed, it is all crafty me, the one and very same. Maybe it’s been a while? Suppose you need to get laid or something? Yeah, I was hella fishing for information, but I couldn’t help it. I was curious. Bass: Why, Emma? Do you want me to stop? Stop what? Stop him from having sex? Shit, who had he been sleeping with? Me: No, Bass. Your life is your own. That’s solely up to you. I searched for him the other night on Google and there hadn’t been any news of him hooking up with anyone. Who had he been sleeping with? I guessed he could get laid without having it splashed online. I mean, he could easily hook-up with another pretty actress

without getting caught. My phone vibrated. Out of nowhere, Carter snatched the phone out of my hands and shoved it in his pocket. “Give it back!” I furiously demanded of the man next to me. “No.” His lips pressed together in a straight line, clearly determined and not budging an inch. Dickwad! “Give Emma her phone back, Carter! Stop being such a tool!” Lindsey chimed in. Her brother was unyielding. “Do you honestly think I’m going to sit here idly while you talk to another guy, Emma? Try to be a little sensitive here. I’m trying to drive, but I can’t help being distracted when you smile stupidly at his messages. I fucking hate it!” Okay, maybe I was being a little insensitive, but confiscating my phone was going overboard. “I apologize. That was rude of me. Can I have my phone back now?” “No.” Carter’s eyes were stuck on the road, not even bothering to glance at me. “What the fuck, Carter!” I yelled at him, but he was unmoving. What the fuck! FML! Oh, he was definitely going to face my wrath once we got to

his uncle’s cabin in Tahoe. My anger was brewing fiercely. Once we were out of the car, I was going to erupt like Mount St. Helens!

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

~Erica Jong

Seventeen “Finally! My butt is killing me! I hate long car rides! They’re the most uncomfortable things, like, ever!” Lindsey declared as Carter finally parked right outside cabin McMansion, which was big enough to hold all twenty guests for the weekend. It was beautiful. I’d seen pictures of it before, but they didn’t do it justice. I remembered Carter promising to take me here, but again, that never happened. It was almost eight at night and the long drive was beyond exhausting. I was ready to unpack and unwind. “Hey, Lindsey! I need to talk to you for a minute,” Carter yelled out to his little sister, as she headed toward the other parked cars on the driveway. She halted. “Sure, what’s up?” Lindsey asked as Carter pulled her off to the side to talk. “I’ll get the rest of the things, Em. Go on up and relax,”

Cooper said. He sounded a little sad. His usual flirty self was nowhere in sight. Guess he really was fighting for Lindsey and trying to be on his best behavior. Well, I wasn’t on anyone’s side. I used to be on Team Brody, all the way, but that went down the drain the moment I found out he ran his tractor through Cece’s rotten infested field. I was a little reserved now. “Thanks, Coop.” I stretched my body and yawned. The smells of fall were floating in the crisp autumn air. Sleep was calling me, but from the looks of things, it would be hours from now before I would get any. I followed everyone towards the house. When am I ever going to catch up on my much needed sleep? I wondered. ~E~

“Who’s up for some hot tub?” Brody asked everyone. It had been three hours since we’d arrived and everyone seemed to have the same goal—to get wasted. At ten, I decided to call it a night when a few drunk girls—I had no clue where they had come from—took off their clothes and ran naked towards the lake. Of course, some of the guys from the soccer team followed them. Ah, living the good life! I shook my head towards the screaming crowd, amused. I scoured the party looking for Lindsey and was relieved to

find her in the kitchen. “Hey! Can you tell me where my room is? Cooper took my bag to a room, but I don’t know where it is, unfortunately.” Lindsey stopped smiling then. “Um… I have no clue. I’m rooming with Amanda.” HUH? “What do you mean? You dragged me here! Now, who do I have to room with?” There were like twenty random people here and I only knew a handful of them. The thought of sharing a room with a stranger seriously freaked me out. I should’ve just stayed home. Maybe I’d have been with Bass right now… “You have to ask Carter and the boys. They’re the ones that arranged it.” I stared at my friend, not knowing what to say. “How could you invite me and not room with me? This just doesn’t make sense at all!” “I know and I’m sorry, but it was just such a last minute thing and I had been paired with her months ago. I’m so sorry!” Just then Brody joined us with a bottle of beer in his hand. “Want to join me in the tub, pretty ladies?” Brody grinned at us. Hmm… was he trying to score some with Linds? Well, he’d have to try harder than that. “Actually Brody, do you think you could show Emma to her room? She doesn’t know where it is.”

“I will, but I need you to stay put. We need to talk,” Brody spoke to Lindsey. Her smile wavered. “Yeah, of course,” Lindsey murmured. Brody looked like he meant business and he seemed to be very determined to talk to her. “Here you are. Everyone’s been looking for you.” Carter strolled in the room in nothing but a pair of jeans, displaying his tanned pecs and rigid six-pack. My cheeks burned when I stared at his body a little longer than I should have. Nice… Dammit! “Oh, great, man! Emma wants to turn in. Can you show her to her room?” Brody asked. What? What? He’s handing me over to Carter? “You’re ready to sleep? It’s still early.” Carter’s dark gaze landed on me, burning holes, searing right through me. “Yes. I want to sleep. I’m exhausted.” Carter nodded. “Okay, then. Let me show you to your room.” He exited the kitchen and climbed up the wooden stairs. I followed silently behind him, not wanting to make unnecessary chitchat. The house was humungous and I would’ve easily gotten lost by the time I got to the second floor. There were three wide carpeted hallways that were adorned with black and white abstract paintings. They were a striking contrast amongst the woodsy theme. I followed Carter as he turned right and made another right down a

long hallway. There were two large, dark, wooden doors at the very end of it. “Here you are, Emma.” Carter opened the doors and he ushered me into a massive room with a fireplace and a big kingsized bed with a large bay-windowed lounge area that overlooked the lake. It was gorgeous! When I looked back, Carter was just standing in the middle of the room, observing me. “Can I have my phone back?” He pulled out my phone from his front pocket. “You mean this?” “Yes. Can you hand it to me now?” “No. I’ll give this back to you once you set foot back in Santa Barbara. For the time being, though, you’re phone free.” Incorrigible man! I just wanted to kick him in the nut-sack! I went over to him. “What the hell is your problem, Carter? I don’t get why you’re acting like a petulant kid!” With another angry whine, my finger poked his hard muscled chest. “You. Are. Being. Ridiculous.” I emphasized each word with my finger poking on his skin before I withdrew my finger, his hand caught it. “You ask what my problem is?” He leaned forward, closing the gap between us. “You. You’re my problem.” I swallowed. “You have to let this go, Carter.” “It’s not over until I say it is.” Arrogant jerk!

“Well, fuck you! We broke up already. You kicked me out of your house!” “You wanted out. I didn’t. It was my ego talking.” We stared at each other. Carter gently reached out and caressed my cheek with the back of his finger. “You’re beautiful, Emma. You don’t know how lonely I’ve been without you.” Carter was lonely? What a joke! There were rumors flying that he got it on with Amanda. I wasn’t stupid. I licked my lips. Wrong move because his eyes darted there and he stared at them. “I think you should go. I want to rest.” Carter hesitantly dragged his eyes away from my lips and brought his darkened gaze to mine. “If you want to, go ahead. You can use the right cabinet to unpack, mine’s on the left.” I froze. We were sharing a room? Dammit! I should’ve known Carter would pull something like this. “You’re sleeping on the couch. I’m not sharing a bed with you!” “Too bad, I’m sleeping in the bed. Don’t worry; I’m not going to touch you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Carter just shrugged and strode towards the bathroom. Within minutes, the shower came on. Well, great, just great. I groaned. How was I going to handle

sleeping in the same room with him for two nights? TWO NIGHTS! This was insane! I strolled towards the bay windows and stared at the moonlit lake before me. Immediately, my thoughts went to the movie I just signed up for. The thought was daunting, but at the same time, I felt ready for the challenge. I mean, what if I did nail the role? My life, as I knew it, would be gone. Things would drastically change for me. I wouldn’t feel so lost anymore. I would have a direction, a goal to achieve, a passion. My passion, something to give my heart and soul to, as Bass described it. If there was one thing I felt I could put my soul into, this would be it. I didn’t doubt it. I turned around when I heard the door crack open. “Bathroom’s all ready for you.” Without responding to the infuriating man, I just strolled past him, gathered my things and locked myself in the bathroom. This was going to be one hell of a long night for him because I sure as hell wasn’t going to waste a blink of sleep over Carter! Hell no. “Gotcha!” I exclaimed when I found my make-up bag. It was located in the very bottom of my clothes. I popped a Benadryl before I hopped into the shower. The tiny pink pill not only helped with my allergies, but put me right to sleep. After a ten minute shower, I got out and dressed in a pair of white cotton shorts and a large, soft pink, cotton shirt with a huge heart in the middle. Once I

was done, I walked towards the bed. Carter was on his side, dressed in his sweatpants and nothing more, staring idly at the ceiling. HUH. I went over to my side and slid inside the sheets. Without a word, I turned off the light and sighed when my head hit the pillow. This entire week had been hectic. I’d lost a lot of sleep over Bass, Carter and the movie. Now, though, I was so ready to just knock the hell out. Why didn’t he go downstairs and party with the rest of his friends? This was their wild idea to begin with and now their Captain was already in bed, ready to sleep—or brood—and it wasn’t even midnight yet. Semi-unconscious, I heard him say, “I’ve missed you. Goodnight, baby.” With another sigh, he rolled over and scooted closer to me, but not close enough to touch me. I think I dozed off after he sighed the second time. ~E~

When my eyes finally fluttered open, I found myself face-toface with Carter. He was sleeping soundly. With his relaxed features, he looked like a fallen angel. My eyes traced his naked torso and slowly made their way back to his face. I wanted to reach

out and touch him so badly. It had been so long since I had seen him so peaceful. It caught me off guard when Carter opened his eyes and gave me a beautiful smile. If I hadn’t been so surprised at getting caught, I would have smiled back. “G’morning!” “Morning.” “Guess you slept well, huh? You snored— sort of—they were like these tiny little noises coming from you, it was adorable. I stared at you doing that for hours, I think.” Carter’s eyes twinkled as he smiled down at me. Moments like that… I forgot everything. He was being adorable. “I did not!” “Did, too! Don’t worry; it didn’t turn me off, if that’s what you’re worried about. I thought it was sexy—cute sexy—but still sexy, you know?” “Shut up, Carter!” I smacked his face with a small throw pillow. I tried to do it twice to shut him up because I was starting to redden from embarrassment. Carter caught my arm and rolled me over to my back, leaving him on top of me and almost nestled in between my legs, they were barely apart. Our eyes clashed—dark met blue. “Baby,” Carter grunted when he pushed his hips against my pelvis, I unabashedly moaned. His erection was palpable, hard and hot against me. “Can I make

love to you?” Carter rasped out. Shit cakes. I stared back at him while my breath escaped me, fully. Did he just say make love? Love. Carter NEVER, EVER used that word when it came to women he had sex with. He didn’t even give me a chance to reply because his lips caught mine. And hell, I reveled in his kiss, drowned in it while wishing for things that were unreachable. His hands were quick as he pulled up my shirt and grabbed my breasts, kneading and squeezing them. My legs quivered as he pushed himself on me, grinding his cock on my mound. I moaned when he lowered his mouth to my breast and bit my nipple as his left hand sought entrance in the leg of my soaked shorts, pushing them aside so his hand could have full access to my wet silken flesh. The back of his fingers stroked the outer part of my wet folds and the act itself made me quake in anticipation for his assault. My torso lifted off the bed as I pushed my breasts out more for him to take. His hand toyed with one while his teeth and tongue lavished the other. When his tongue circled and bit my nipple, I buckled. “Carter…” You’re driving me crazy! I thought as his fingers finally separated my silken folds and rubbed against my nub. My hands found his hair and I pulled it and brought his lips onto mine. Our tongues fought as his fingers continued to ambush me. I gasped

when he stuck his fingers inside. “Exquisite,” he murmured. I blinked a few times. Exquisite? Bass. He uses that word—Bass. Fuck, I needed to stop this. I didn’t know why, but I felt like if I went through with this, Carter would just think I’d be back to being his permanent bootie call. I think not. “Stop! We have to stop.” Carter stilled. Stilled—inches away from me, eyes searching mine, fingers still inside me. “You’re not serious? I’m so fucking hard, Em. I’m ready to combust here and you want to stop? What the fuck? I don’t find this funny.” “Well, I don’t either. Can you please take your fingers out of me?” Carter kept staring at me and, much to my annoyance; he still hadn’t pulled his fingers out. “Fine, I will stop… after you come apart on my fingers.” WTF? “No!” However, he was determined and within a heartbeat, two fingers stroked me as his thumb massaged my nub. I thrashed and whimpered. Loving and hating what he was doing to me; hating him for making my body his slave, but loving him because I just did. “Look at me!” Carter commanded as his fingers continued their

onslaught. My body heightened and exalted. Climbing, reaching higher, for the ultimate quaking nirvana. My eyes searched his. I tried to catch his gaze, but it was hard to focus. His assaulting fingers were twirling and sliding in and out of me. “Look. At. Me. Emma!” “Carter,” I whimpered. “Don’t hold it back. Just let go. I want to feel your juices gush like a dam on my fingers,” he ordered as his fingers became serious. He took hold of my womanhood, hooking his fingers inside my walls with his thumb on my clit. His other free hand was pressed on my abdomen, pressing me down on the bed as his fingers, rubbing and flicking with purpose, obliterating any thoughts in my mind. I was locked down and didn’t have a choice but to savor the sweet torture he was giving my body. “Look at me!” Carter ordered again when he felt my muscles contract. His eyes consumed me as an orgasm hit my body. It rippled and pulsated through me and my mind went blank. I had to blink a few times before I looked at him. Carter beamed at me as he studied the satisfaction on my face. “Shall we see how you taste this morning?” His fingers slid out of me and he immediately placed them on his tongue. He licked them without tearing his eyes off me. “You still taste like heaven, Emma.” I opened my mouth and shut it again. I couldn’t believe I let

him do that to me after I told him not to. Okay, I got that I didn’t reject the idea much when he started to finger fuck me, but still, I was a little bothered right now and more than a tad confused. Sitting up, I glared at his grinning face. “You shouldn’t have done that!” “Why not? You loved every second of it. If I really wanted to take you, I could’ve done it with ease, but I didn’t. Look at my cock, it’s still hard. Want to give it a go? I promise to make you come a few more times.” Arrogant son of a bitch! “Fuck you, Carter!” Still grinning, “Well, that was the idea, baby.” “Ugh! You’re hopeless! I don’t even know why or how I tolerated your absurdity for the last few months!” I exclaimed and made a move to get out of bed, but he caught me and pulled me back to him and I landed on my back. Hovering on top of me, he spoke, “Don’t leave. Stay.” Stay here… for now or stay with him until he was done with me? “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have to move on.” He could take that any way he wanted to, but I was done yo-yo-ing with my emotions over him. I think. I had my future to think about and that was what I should put first. Messing around with Carter would be great. I mean, he was

great in the sack, but then what? Have my heart broken all over again? I thought not. It would be better to just let him go now. Pushing him off me, I scrambled to my feet. Heading towards the bathroom, I stopped midway. “Oh, by the way, thanks for the orgasm.” I smiled at him and headed towards the bathroom. Hardy har har. His expression was priceless. Take that, jerk!

“Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.”

~Angelina Jolie

Eighteen When I got out of the shower, Carter was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, he went fishing with some of his friends. I was somewhat relieved, but my mind was nagging me. Did he fuck some other girl from his army of skanks while I was in the shower? Amanda seemed to be following him everywhere. She was pretty gorgeous, but a skank all the same. Harsh? Yeah, but she totally deserved it. She would call Carter incessantly while we were still together, wanting to ‘kick it.’ Seriously, ‘kick it’ was her code? Ugh! There were a bunch of people out on the lake and a few strolling outside, just chilling, but I didn’t really know any of them. When I found Cooper in the kitchen, I was hella relieved. “Hey, Cooper, do you know where the girls are at? I can’t seem to find them anywhere.” Cooper stopped drinking from his bottled water and looked

thoughtful for a moment. “Try checking their rooms. They’re in the west wing. I think they’re talking or whatever.” I gave him a quick wave. “Thanks, bud.” I went back upstairs towards the west wing. Sure enough, I could hear women’s voices talking inside the room, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying from the hallway. With a soft knock, I pushed the door open. “Why are you all in here? The weather is bright and sunny outside!” I cheerily greeted the quiet crew. All three women looked at me. Lindsey was sitting crosslegged on the bed, Amber was sitting on the couch, hovering over a table with a bunch of credit cards splayed all over it and Trista was standing against the wall, looking pained. Okay… “Did I just miss something? Why are you guys looking all glum? Did someone just die?” Trista just shrugged and kept staring at Amber. I looked at Lindsey for answers. “Amber’s parents are getting divorced.” Oh, no. I rushed to Amber’s side and gave her a tight hug. “Hang in there. You’re a tough cookie.” Amber sadly nodded her head and sniffed. Aw, she was obviously crying. “I hate this shit. I don’t know why Dad had to

cheat on my mom with a stewardess. A fucking STEWARDESS! How original. And now he’s buying the fucking whore a house in Malibu. What a fucking gold-digger. That home-wrecker is killing my mom right now. My mom’s hysterical.” She sniffed again and wiped her eyes. “You know what the most fucked up thing is though? The stupid bitch is our age. Can you believe that shit? My father is banging a chick our age. What a disgusting pig! I hate him!” Amber started crying severely. I rubbed her back when she started having trouble breathing. “I don’t think it’s wise to lay all the blame towards the mistress, Amber. It does take two to tango, you know.” Trista put her two cents in on the subject. Why weren’t these two consoling Amber? Amber growled, “Yeah, you would know, right? It takes one to know one!” Her accusatory tone and eyes landed on the shocked Trista. What did she just say? “What the fuck are you talking about, Amber?” Amber snorted before she busted Trista. “I followed you a couple of weeks ago because you were being so sneaky. Funny, isn’t it? You’re screwing your cousin’s husband!” SHIT. My eyes went back and forth between the best friends. Trista looked teary now. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like that, I swear.

Harry and I got drunk one night at a family party and it just happened.” OMG! Trista really was a mistress… to her cousin’s husband? Talk about scandalous! “Well, don’t you think it’s high time you stop fucking each other’s brains out before it gets worse, Trista? Don’t you think what my dad is doing to me and my mom is horrible?” Trista slid down the wall and plopped on the floor, looking distraught. Lindsey rushed over to her side and tried to soothe her. “I can’t leave him. I don’t think I can,” Trista whispered. “It’s too late now. I’m in love with him.” “You’re ruining your life, Trista! You’re not that kind of woman.” “Well, you’re not one to talk about ruining lives. You’ve been using cocaine for like forever!” Trista retorted back with vengeance. Cocaine? No. I pushed Amber and checked her. Sure enough, she had a clear baggie of powdery, white stuff sitting on her lap. And lots of it! “You can’t be using this shit, Amber. This is so bad for you! Your dad’s not worth it. He’s not worth ruining your life over!” “I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want!” Amber yelled back as she prepped her paraphernalia on the table, right there in front of us.

“Amber! Stop it!” Lindsey stood up and tried to take away her stuff. Amber stood up, too, and slapped Lindsey in the face. Lindsey recoiled from the impact. “What the fuck!” She screeched. “I want you all out of my business right now. None of you are of any help! Do you hear me? SCRAM!” Amber sat back down again, opened her tiny baggie and poured the powdery white stuff on the table. With her Platinum AMEX card, she made three perfect straight lines, tediously. She took out a tiny black straw and snorted the first line in her left nostril then she closed her ambercolored eyes, tilted her head back, sniffed and cleared her nasal passages, making sure she got all of the powdery stuff inside. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked us each in ours. “I need you all to leave. Just give me time. I need this right now before I go crazy. I’m not going to ask again.” Frozen and horrified, Lindsey and I both looked at Trista, who merely shrugged and left the room. What the hell! Were we just going to leave Amber in here, wired and high? Lindsey followed suit, but I stood there, staring at Amber, not knowing what to do. “Amber… please… listen to me.” Amber gave me a sad smile. “This is not the first time, my friend. I’m sorry you’re witnessing this ugly side of me, but I am what I am. I’ve done this before and quit, but I just need time to process things, okay? I really like you, Emma, but right now, I really

need you to leave. I just want to be alone.” “Amber… you’re hurting. You can’t possibly be okay to be left alone.” “Each person hurts differently. Each person processes hurt in their own way. This is how I cope with it.” I wanted to hug her. Her eyes were so haunted and anguished. I felt helpless. With a begrudging nod, I silently left the room and found Lindsey and Trista at the end of the hall, waiting for me. “How long have you guys known?” I asked the two people that have known Amber the longest. “Ever since it started,” they both responded in unison. “Well, isn’t there a way to help her?” Why were they acting like this was normal? “We both told her parents before, but they just didn’t care. They said their daughter’s a big girl and that she could handle herself.” I blinked a few times before Trista’s words sank in. “Are you serious? What kind of parents would say stuff like that about their daughter’s addiction?” “Give her a week or two, Emma. This is her way—fucked up way, yeah—but it’s her way to cope,” Lindsey murmured. I stared at her wide-eyed. So, I guess this was just a routine for them? I hadn’t known and I didn’t like this. I felt like there was

something we should have done. It sucked to sit idly by and watch your friend be in shambles. ~E~

I still had an hour and half or so before the planned barbeque downstairs. I didn’t want to be idle anyway. I would just think too much about Carter and that was a no-go zone for now. Lindsey and Brody went for a walk and Trista went hiking with some other folks. Amber was still stuck in her room and when I checked on her, she was curled up in bed sleeping. All by my lonesome, I figured I should get my priorities straight and my number one priority was to start studying my movie script. I wanted to call Bass so bad, but I couldn’t find my phone anywhere. So, I decided to enjoy the view from the bedroom porch and start reading through the Blasphemous script. I knew I had months to go through it, but I wanted to make sure I nailed the part right. This film would be my debut and I wasn’t going to do it half-ass. I wanted to embody Angela and her feelings towards Logan and her Greek husband, Spiros, perfectly. After reading fifty pages, my cheeks were flushed. Wow, Martin was aiming for this film to be a heck of a rollercoaster of raw sex and a mind-bending whirlwind of emotions. The first kiss between Angela and Logan the first night they met was scorching.

SCORCHING to the point where I could see me and Bass kissing like our lives depended on it. Gosh, that kiss would be explosive. I figured out that Bass and I would be nude during the love making scenes and the thought of it made me break out in a sweat. If I felt like this just thinking about it, how was I going to feel when Bass and I were actually naked? I closed the script and decided that I would read it later. Provoking thoughts of Bass and me in that heated sexual ordeal was too much to take in. Out of options, I retreated to the massive bed that was inviting me to sleep. A nap would do me wonders. ~E~

“Hey, aren’t you that chick?” one of the guests asked me as she snapped her fingers, trying to remember where she saw me. “Don’t think so,” I mumbled as I forked the ribs and placed them on my plate. The girl still pondered. “Yup, got it! You were in that celebrity gossip magazine, right? I think you were with Bass Cole! OMG! O.M.G! Yeah! Yeah! That was you! You guys were coming out of a club together! Shit, you’re dating Bass Cole! Can I take a picture with you?” I stared at her, horrified. Are you kidding me? I didn’t understand why she was freaking out like that. The decently

composed girl turned shrieking monster made me want to hide somewhere. “Wow, you’re really pretty!” she kept on going. I was beyond relieved when Lindsey joined us. My friend butted in, but not to help me. “I know, right? Give me your phone. I’ll take a picture of you two together!” Lindsey offered and the ranting girl happily obliged. What the hell? This was stupid. I was not Bass’s girlfriend! “But I’m not his girlfriend!” I interjected, but neither one seemed to care. “Give me a pretty smile, Emma! One, two, three; say cottage cheese!” I wanted to murder Lindsey right then and there. Once the annoying girl left with her stupid picture, I went to sock my friend. Lindsey put her hands up. “Listen, I know that was stupid and I had a lot of fun teasing you, but honey, you have to start getting used to stuff like that. In seven months, this little bubble you live in will no longer exist.” She was right, but I didn’t want to point that out to her. Instead, I asked about Amber and Trista. I was still in shock about what happened earlier. “Amber is hard-headed. There’s no way around her,” she told me. “Trista, on the other hand, seems to be hopeless. She’s in love with that Harry guy and doesn’t want to leave him.” Hell, it was how I felt. I was watching Trista and Amber spiral

downwards and there was nothing I could do but watch as they struggled to stay afloat. Lindsey and I were eating barbeque and enjoying the placid view of the beautiful lake before us. There were bonfires, music and tons of drunken folks singing and dancing, but we decided to choose a spot far enough away from the crowd so we could chat. We stopped stuffing ourselves with ribs when we saw Cece come out of a darkened corner with Cooper, doing God knows what. My eyes automatically darted to Lindsey. Anger, pain, hatred and jealousy were all etched on her pretty face. “Linds?” “I’m fucking furious right now. Does Cece have to get a taste of every guy that I’ve ever been with? I don’t get her. And as for Cooper, he can go fuck himself and stuff his sausage in Cece’s contaminated pussy.” “Sorry, I know you liked Coop.” Lindsey did. She wouldn’t have slept with him if she didn’t. “I just lost my appetite. Want to drink with me, doll? I know you haven’t touched much alcohol lately, but I’m asking you to drink with me. I want to forget what I just saw.” Crap, my friend was hella hurt. Men, we hated them and yet, we couldn’t live without them. I stood up and pulled my friend out of her seat. Before we

started commiserating in our drunken misery, I had to give her a big I-love-you-no-matter-what kind of hug. “Come on let’s look for a bottle of Hennessy and Patron. It’s time to crash this party!” my hurt friend said with determination. Lindsey Mason had one purpose and that was to show Cooper Haze a big fuck you.

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

~Candace Bushnell

Nineteen We’d been drinking for about two hours straight and I must say, neither of us were coherent. Once the alcohol hit Lindsey’s bloodstream, she was unstoppable. She danced and made out with Brody, for Cooper to see. “Get your tight ass up here, Emma!” Lindsey and Trista tried to gather me up with them. I was about to get on top of the mahogany bar and join them dancing Coyote Ugly style when Carter pulled me back. This better be good… “Don’t you dare get your drunken ass up there, Emma!” he bellowed as something flashed below me and my eyes went straight to his pocket. Carter was wearing white surfer shorts and I could easily see my phone screen flashing. Bass Cole Calling… I lunged towards him and dug inside his pocket. “Give me that!” I ordered, but Carter was too strong for me and he pulled my hand out before I had the chance to even brush against my phone.

Fuck! How many times had Bass called? How many times had he sent messages? They all went unanswered. “Didn’t I make myself clear that you don’t get to have it back until we hit Santa Barbara again?” Since Carter was a major Jerk—yes, with a capital J—I threw him my two middle fingers. “F.U.C.K. YOU! Why don’t you go stick this up your idiotic ass and spin on it?” Whoops! Too harsh? My bad. With that parting, I joined the girls on the bar just when Womanizer came on the speakers. Ha ha ha! Can you say the song was perfect for all three of us gals? “Superstar Where you from, how's it going? I know you gotta clue, what you’re doing You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here But I know what you are, what you are, baby.” Trista and I bumped our butts together as we continued on. Guys gathered around the table, taking videos and hollering. Lindsey was getting all hyped up. “Look at you Gettin' more than just re-up Baby, you

Got all the puppets with their strings up Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em I know what you are, what you are, baby.” I could feel Carter’s simmering anger from somewhere in the room, but I didn’t have it in me to look for him. His abhorrent antics were getting to me and I didn’t know if I could stand being close to him without killing him. “Womanizer Woman-Womanizer You're a womanizer Oh Womanizer Oh You're a Womanizer Baby You, You You Are You, You You Are Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer.” Each time Lindsey uttered the word womanizer, she pointed to a man—any man. Ha! Girlfriend was on a roll. Guess Cooper Haze was now history, huh? I sang and danced with my gals until I couldn’t do it any longer. Out of breath, I jumped down off the bar and hunted for a bottle of water. I took one from the sprawling amount of iced beverages next to the bar we were dancing on and walked out of the house, needing distance from the riotous commotion that Lindsey evoked.

At the same time, I couldn’t stand the swirling thoughts of the men in my life. Once outside, I walked towards the backyard and welcomed the fresh change of scenery before me. The moon was high and my entire body was blanketed in sweat. The earthy smell of pine and crisp air cleared my jumbled brain. Lindsey was hurt. I got that and I did feel for her, but at the same time, if I was Cooper or Brody, how would I feel if the woman I was after couldn’t make up her damn mind? Well, I guess that didn’t take long because Cece made that decision easier for her. I just hoped that Lindsey would be okay. Occupied with my thoughts, I strolled at a leisurely pace until I hit a stream. I leaned against a pine tree as I stared at the flowing water and the calming sound it produced. The trickling sound made me feel at peace. Who would’ve thought a month ago I would be in this position? Life certainly had its way of surprising you when you least expected it, especially when you were down and out. No matter what happened with Bass, if we became involved or not, I would forever be grateful to him. Not only did he open a lot of doors for me and not only did he make it an easy transition for me, he made me realize a lot of things. He made me see that life was about following what your gut tells you to do and not what others

expected you to do–his ‘half and half’ speech. Bass was a passionate man. He spoke with conviction and truth. He was straightforward and didn’t hesitate when he wanted something. I wanted to be like that. I hoped to become like that. I admired him. I admired his passion and his authenticity. He was the real thing. What was exemplary about his personality was that he didn’t let all the fame and fortune get to his handsome head. Bass was a grounded man. Even with all that, I couldn’t bring myself to be with Bass. Yes, things were running in the fast lane—even faster than the German Autobahn—and it startled me that things unfolded as quickly as they did. Even if I could get over the fact that things had been going too fast with Bass, it wouldn’t eradicate what I felt for Carter. Sure, my love for Carter wasn’t as strong since I met Bass, but it was still there, lurking in the back of my mind and when I least expected it, it would pop right out at me like a jack-in-the-box. Carter… where the heck did I even begin with that tumultuous rollercoaster? I tensed when I heard a twig snap, bringing me out of my reverie. Well, wasn’t it the very man himself? “Emma.” I sighed. Couldn’t I just have a moment of peace without him hounding me? “What do you want, Carter? Are you giving me my

phone back? If you came here to be an ass again, then I suggest you go back before I pummel your body into the ground!” I threatened. In reality, I wasn’t capable of beating him into the ground—he was all muscle—but I needed to relay just how angry I was. Carter was being beyond unreasonable. He made a two-year–old’s tantrums easier to deal with. Carter sighed as he raked his large, sexy hand through his hair. The moonlight made him look even more dangerously beautiful, much to my dismay. The last thing he needed was for me to gawk and praise his Adonis form and beauty. Carter already had an oversized ego. “Em, I know I’ve been such a jerk to you over the last week. It’s just—that’s how I was used to reacting to things and I don’t like changing what is normal to me, but this past week has been pure hell. I really want you back in my life.” Carter came closer, pained and unsure. He stared at me with such burning emotion, I felt faint. “I’m sorry. Please… please… forgive me?” he asked as he tried to reach out to me, but I quickly moved to the side, not wanting him to touch me. Words. An ‘I’m Sorry’ from Carter wouldn’t cut it with me. Well, not anymore. “You’re sorry? For the last week, you’ve been acting like a little boy who wanted his old toy back. Well—that’s

just it, Carter! I told you I was done with you. I am done with our half ass kind of relationship. I want more than sex. I want commitment—I want it all! You’re not that man—you have some kind of phobia when it comes to commitment. So, please, just walk away and stop pursuing me.” He moved a little closer before he spoke, sounding more sure, more than ever. “I could be that man and I will—for you, I will, Em. Just give me a chance!” Empty promises, they didn’t mean shit anymore. Oh, he was good with those. “Promises. Here we go again. Save your promises for another woman who would die to hear them from you. I am not that woman, Carter—not anymore. It’s best you get that drilled into your head.” I hugged myself and started to walk fast, away from him. I was so over this. I’d reached my limit when it came to Carter. I didn’t think I could stomach this crazy tug of war with my emotions anymore. I needed to move on and never look back, no matter how much it pained me to do so. With renewed determination, I walked towards the clearing. I wasn’t sure if he was following me or not. It was hard to hear because my ears were ringing from our encounter and it didn’t help that I was more than tipsy. I stopped abruptly when he did

something I hadn’t expected him to. When I was halfway through the clearing, he yelled at the top of his lungs, “I love you.” His voice was choked up, abundant with tortured pain. Frozen, I let his words sink in. The words I had waited to hear from his lips were now my reality. I fought the emotions that roared through me. They were igniting my whole body and burning me with their crackling fire. In quick haste, I turned around and ran towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare use love in this, Carter! We both know you don’t do ‘love.’ You don’t get to use that as a fucking weapon,” I spat at his face, even more furious that he was riling me up. He had the audacity to use that damn four letter word. The gall! My determined stance and face spoke volumes. He wasn’t getting through to me. He knew I meant what I said. Carter would not weaken my resolve. Been there, done that. Carter stared at me for a second, his face contorted with misery. He looked simply wounded and in utter disbelief that I threw his declaration of love back in his face. His breathing was ragged and his pained gaze simply eviscerated me. His Adam’s apple bobbed before he rasped out, “Emma, please…” My eyes searched his and in that very instant, I knew he meant every word. Defeated, he sunk to his knees. With his head down,

he inhaled, deeply, like he needed to get as much air as he could to enable him to breathe properly. Startled and panicked, I stared at the broken man kneeling before me. What the hell do I do? I thought as I bit my lip. Carter looked up at me. “I love you, Emma. I’ve loved you ever since the first night you spent in my arms. I’ve been in love with you all this time, but I never had the courage or strength to tell you how I felt because I was a coward, but being a coward made me lose you and now I’m trying to brave it out for you—face my demons because of my love for you and you alone,” his voice wobbled. “I feel like half a person without you, Em. I can’t function. I need you back; I want you back because I honestly love you.” God! He did mean it. Shit. Fuck. Shit. There went my damn perseverance. Carter… “My father used to be so in love with my mom, to the point where nothing made sense to him unless my mother was around, close to him. My mom was his obsession, his drug. But even with his obsessive adoration, my mom cheated on him. One night, she came home and told my father that she was pregnant and the father

was her personal trainer. She was going to move in with him… my dad… he was distraught, even then, he begged my mom not to leave him. He even went on and on and promised to love the child she was carrying as his own because he loved everything about her and if the baby was part of the bargain, he’d take it in a heartbeat. Lindsey was too young to understand what was going on. But I did, I saw what love could do to a man. It weakens you and it makes a fool out of you. “The same night of her revelation, my mom left us. My father, fool that he was, followed her out in a separate car. My mom ended up crashing her car against a broken-down truck on the side of the road. I guess dad was following closely behind her because his car followed suit. I’m not sure if it happened because he didn’t have much time to maneuver, or if he did it on purpose so that he could follow Mom because he couldn’t live without her. “You see, Emma, love doesn’t come easy for me. It was the one thing I promised myself not to do—I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I wanted to hide it from you… for as long as I could, but you left me no choice. When I told you I loved you… it’s because I honestly do.” Oh, my God… Carter did love me. “Get up, please,” I begged. I couldn’t stand the sight of him hurting and in evident pain as he knelt before me.

Carter shook his head, clearly adamant. “No—not until you take me back.” His contorted face gave away how serious he was. What do I do? I was torn. Should I wait for a sign to tell me to take him back or should I grab at the opportunity to be with the man I had fallen for? Maybe this time, we could make it work as a couple in a real relationship, not the sexual one we had before. Bass… What about Bass? Bass and I had known each other for such a short amount of time. I lusted after him. Who wouldn’t? However, it was Carter who I loved, right? This was my chance to have my heart’s desire. Then, what am I waiting for? “Fine, I’m taking you back… as long as you promise that you will try very hard to make this work. I’m giving you this one chance, Carter, don’t fuck it up.” “What did you say, Em?” he asked, a smile forming on his handsome face. He obviously heard me, but wanted me to say it again. “Uh, now you’re just driving me nuts!” I complained as I held out my hand for him to grab onto so I could lift him up. To my surprise, he pulled me down with him. I let out a loud squeal as he tickled me half to death. With my back on the ground and Carter on top of me, I felt

deliriously happy. Our faces were inches apart as he spoke, “I love you, Emma, and I promise to be loyal to you and you alone. I will give my all to make you happy.” God, let’s hope so because I’m dropping Bass Cole for you. You better make it worth it. I linked my arms around his neck and looked at the man I had fallen for. For the first time since he said those words, I saw Carter in a new light. I whispered, “I love you, too, Carter Mason.” “Thank the fucking gods! ‘Cause if you didn’t, I wasn’t going to let you leave the cabin until you told me that you did.” I laughed at his statement as he kissed me passionately. I moaned as his mouth ambushed my senses. His hand possessively captured the side of my cheek as he voraciously fed his appetite with hot lingering kisses. With his hard body on top of mine, his hand reached inside of my sweater, pushing my bra aside. He caressed my breast and pinched my nipple. I groaned as he whispered my name, “Emma… I love how you come apart in my arms.” Carter didn’t give me much time to think as he took my leggings off. The chilly night didn’t hinder our urgent need to be together; the need to feel each other, the need to become one. My thong was flung in the air next as I looked at the man who consumed me. I watched as he took his shorts off with no shyness

or inhibition. His gorgeous, muscled body was illuminated in the moonlight as his gaze burned with fire; they were full of ardent passion, heady lust and savage desire. His dark eyes obliterated me and he was all I could see, feel and need. Without another word, he annihilated my lips as he parted my legs and harshly plunged inside me with one hard thrust. I gasped as his huge cock filled me, hot and demanding. “You’re worth the wait, Emma,” I heard Carter say as my body craved and savored every heated, hard thrust he gave. “Give me more, Carter. Give it to me harder.” With haste, his left hand cupped my ass cheek, lifting and pressing it against him, making it easier for him to go deeper, stretching and filling me to capacity. I reached for his ass to keep it in place, to continue to shove it deeper inside me. “Your nice little pussy is fucking heaven, baby.” We panted and mated like we were dying and couldn’t live without each other. He held my hips with his strong arms, his manhood still jammed inside me as he shifted us to a sitting position with me on top. With my feet planted on the lush, cool ground on the sides of his hips, I linked my arms around his neck, kissing him as I rode him hard with urgency and greed. “Take everything that you want from me, baby. Ride me harder —give me your all. Give me that nice, juicy pussy, again and

again. I want it to eat my cock whole. Ride me harder, baby.” Carter groaned as I clutched his shoulders harder and took him as he commanded me to. “Carter!” I choked out as spasms hit me in waves. His lips sought my neck and bit into it as my orgasm shattered me into pieces. I moaned as he took charge of my hips and lifted me up and down, sliding in and out of me as he prepared for his own release. “FUCK, BABY! You’re the best fuck!” he grunted out as he came inside me. Limp and distractedly happy, I laughed as he tried to kiss me. “I love you, Emma.” “This is crazy. I can’t believe we did this out here.” “Sorry, I couldn’t control myself. I was dying and needed to have you as soon as possible. There’s no one else but you, Emma.” He looked soulful as he stroked my flushed cheek. “Thank you for giving me this chance again, Em. I will make you very happy.” I smiled as I kissed him. I hoped he would keep his promise because I didn’t know if I could stand it if he hurt me again, but that’s what love was, right? We had to take a risk or we’d never know what love truly meant. “You’re still on the pill right?” I raised my brow in question. “Yeah, why?”

Carter smiled and gave my lips a searing kiss. “Tonight’s going to be a long night. I’m going to make love to you over and over again until the sun comes up.” “A stud’s promise?” I cheekily asked as he gave me a wink and gathered me up. “It’s only the beginning, you’ll see,” he said as we got dressed and then strolled back to the cabin to join the crowd.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

~Kahlil Gibran

Twenty “There you guys are!” Amanda announced in front of everyone. “Where have you been Carter? I’ve been looking all over for you.” She pouted as she traced the outline of Carter’s neckline. “Are you blind, Amanda?” I asked the blatant flirt after I smacked her hand away from touching Carter. “Hello? Of course not. I can’t be this hot and be blind, duh? Why do you like this boring, so-so, plain woman, Carter? She’s just plain, like vanilla. Uh, who likes vanilla, anyway? No one!” The bitch smirked at me. I wanted to wipe that smirk off her smug face. “Yeah, I am boring compared to you, so what? Carter wants the vanilla me and not your flavorful swirls. Get over it.” Something flashed in Amanda’s eyes. She was in full catty mode. “He likes my swirls. Trust me–Carter Mason loves swirls.” Amanda looked at Carter through her lashes as she stuck her tongue out and traced her lips. “That’s enough from you, Amanda. Emma and I are back

together now and I’m not interested. Stop following me around and find someone else to sink your claws into.” Amanda huffed and spoke before she walked off, “You’re going to miss me, Carter. I can’t wait ‘til you come knocking on my door.” I tensed. Reality check, here it is. “Let’s go back to our room,” Carter suggested and I didn’t even nod or respond to him because my mind was still focused on what Amanda just spewed; swirls, blowjobs. That meant she had sucked him off. I knew I shouldn’t be really mad since we were broken up, or at least I hoped we had been when the incident happened with Amanda. Still, I had to see her around. A lot. Once inside the confines of our bedroom, Carter strolled towards the bay windows and looked out at the glittery lake As he spoke, “She gave me head, once. Well, I guess half a head since I didn’t let her finish. It was that same night you went off on a date with Bass Cole, when I caught you guys at the apartment.” Shit cakes. Yeah, same night I begged for Bass to kiss me—the same night that I wanted Bass to touch me. “Did you do anything else with her? Or with anyone else, for that matter?” Carter shook his head. “No, I wanted to. I mean, I tried to, but I couldn’t get you out of my head, Em.”

I smiled. “Good to know.” I walked towards the bed and sat down. Carter came over and joined me, looking serious. “Did you have sex with Bass? Did you kiss him?” Did I have sex with Bass? Definitely not, although, I wanted to. Did I kiss those perfect lips of his? No, although, I wanted to, oh so badly. “No, we didn’t go that far. He kissed my neck though, if you must know.” Carter pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. “Are you telling me the truth? You really didn’t have sex with him? ’Cause everyone was saying you did and that magazine insinuated you did.” They did, didn’t they? Well, they got my thoughts correct, but not what really happened. “No, nothing happened. We just hung out and talked a lot. Bass is a great guy. He was respectful and treated me with the utmost care.” And boy did he. Bass. I was really going to miss him. My heart constricted at the thought of not being around him. I liked Bass a lot, but there was always going to be a big BUT when it came to him. “Good, because if he hadn’t, I would have just loved to knock

that arrogant son of a bitch out.” “Oh, shut up, Carter! You’re not punching anyone.” “Don’t you doubt it because I will hurt anyone that tries to hurt you, Emma.” I took a moment to think about what he said. When I looked up, I found his eyes on me. “There’s only one thing I ask of you... don’t hurt me, Carter.” He kissed my lips and smiled. “Not going to happen. Why don’t we go downstairs and join the rest of our friends? We’re leaving tomorrow after all.” I shook my head. I was emotionally drained and tired from all the alcohol I consumed. I also didn’t want another encounter with Amanda. “You go right ahead. I want to shower and catch up on some reading.” Reading the movie script; something that I wasn’t ready to share with him. I would tell him eventually, but not tonight. I just didn’t know how he’d react to it. “You’re sure? I can stay with you, if you want.” I pinched his cheek. “I am sure. Soccer just ended and you guys had a tremendous season. You need to party with your team.” Was I a jealous woman? Hell, yes, but I was a reasonable one, too. I knew what this weekend meant to him and his teammates and I wasn’t going to come in between that. I just hoped that he would be just as noble when I told him about the movie I would be doing

with Bass. Didn’t they say in every relationship one should learn how to give and take? Well, here it was. This was me giving. “You’re the best, Em! I’ll be back in a couple hours.” He stood up and pulled my phone out of his pocket. “Here. I don’t need to hold your phone hostage to get your attention. I love you.” He then kissed me and headed towards the door. I called out to him before he managed to grab the door handle, “You better be on your best behavior, Carter Mason, because the minute you touch another woman, you’ll be dead to me.” “Never, my love.” Carter blew me a kiss and swiftly closed the door behind him. Sighing, I plopped down on the bed. My phone weighed heavily in my hand. I glanced at it like I had never seen a cell phone in my life. Curious, I unlocked it. Sure enough, the battery was low. I had two missed calls from my mom and seven missed calls from Bass. When I opened my messages, Mom sent me one and Bass sent me five. Mom: Honey, we haven’t heard from you in a while. I called because I wanted to tell you Aunt Gemma and little Joey are here and we’d love it if you could come by. Please call us. We miss you! Scrolling towards the first message Bass sent me, I quickly opened it. It was his reply to my last text message.

Bass Cole: I know that my life is my own, but if you did ask it of me, then I would be more than happy. I’m leaving for Canada soon and I can’t help thinking about you and what happens next. I know it’s too early for you to even think about being in another relationship, but that’s what I want with you… I just want you to know... need you to know that I’m serious about us. When you’re ready, I want to be with you, Emma. Oh, Lordy. Ugh! Now I was totally confused! That, of course, didn’t stop me from reading the rest of his texts. Bass Cole: Was that too much at one time? I’ve waited for your response for over an hour now. Emma? I didn’t have my phone, but even if I did, would I have replied to that heavy loaded text message? Maybe… Bass Cole: Sorry, Em. I guess that was the wrong thing for me to say. It was inconsiderate even. I merely wanted assurance that you somehow… somewhat… feel the same. How spot on because I did feel a connection. I had never been in tune with any guy until Bass came along. Bass Cole: Emma? I suppose your silence is answer enough. That’s all right. I’m not angry, so don’t worry. I won’t mention it again. The message was sent this morning. Did I want to call him and

apologize? Explain how Carter took my phone? If I did, was I ready to answer Bass’s questions? Or better yet, was I ready to tell him about Carter? Bass Cole: Martin called your phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I’m just letting you know that he made a reservation for six-thirty Monday night at Melisse. Business manner, cut straight to the point with no hi or hello. What did I really expect after not replying to any of the text messages he sent? Me: Thank you. Tell Martin I will be there. I stared at my phone for a good twenty minutes, waiting for his reply, but it didn’t come. Exhausted, emotionally and physically, I dragged my body towards the bathroom to shower. When I was done, I checked my phone again, but there was still no response. I should have felt like I was floating on cloud nine because Carter and I were back together, but I wasn’t. My heart weighed heavily in my chest. Carter woke me up when he noisily came back to the room, drunk as hell. He stripped to his naked glory and slid into bed. Pulling me close to him, he whispered, half asleep, “I love you.” I blinked a few times, feeling a little guilty that my thoughts had been consumed by Bass the entire time he was downstairs.

Depleted, I willed myself to go back to sleep and tried to erase the image of Bass Cole’s hypnotizing blue eyes from my mind. I tried, but didn’t succeed. They were haunting me.

“Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate.”

~David Pratt

Twenty-One It was Monday afternoon and I was on my way to meet up with Trista and Lindsey at the café. When they learned I was back with Carter, they didn’t look too happy. I guess it would take time for them to get over Bass Cole, too. They all adored him. They were both already seated with their drinks when I finally walked in. I sat at the table and saw that they had already ordered my coffee. “You guys are the best!” “We know!” Sipping the still hot coffee, I savored the first taste of my caffeine fix for the day. I ran late to school again because Carter wouldn’t let me out of the damn bed. “Things are great between you and Carter?” Trista asked cautiously. “Yeah, they are. Why?” “Are you going to tell Bass?” Lindsey pressed on. “Yes, I actually plan to… tonight.” Trista and Lindsey both just

sighed. Okay... “What? Just spit it out.” Lindsey spoke first, “We get that you just got back with my brother, but are you sure you want to let go of Bass? I mean, Emma, ding dong. You like Bass! Why don’t you sit tight for a second and really think it through before you give him the axe? Bass really likes you and, to be honest, I think he deserves you way more than my brother.” Ding dong? I had thought it through, hadn’t I? “Lindsey has a point, doll. I know my love life is hopeless at this point, but yours… you could still salvage it, you know?” “I have thought it through, so please stop.” Lies. The only thought that had been occupying my mind were those spellbinding azure eyes. I turned to Trista. “You’re not going to keep this affair going, are you? Not only are you hurting yourself, but your cousin, too.” Trista instantly looked sad all of a sudden. “I know, but have you ever felt that strong pull towards someone without explanation? Like having them around makes you feel complete? I read about this twin souls crap online. They’re soul mates, but so much more. When you meet your twin soul, you feel an intense love for them, but conclude that it’s just lust. It said that you could try to move on, but it would be impossible. No matter how hard you try to fight

your feelings, you would always be a part of them.” “That being said, I felt that intense, powerful love when I met Harry. I tried to forget about him and as soon as I thought I had, we would run into each other and all those intense feelings would come rushing back. For two years we fought this magnetic pull towards each other. It was difficult—it physically hurt to be apart from him. One night, when everyone decided to go to bed early during a family get together, it happened—we happened. Harry says he wants to leave my cousin, Becka, but I told him not to. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet and I’m not too sure if I’m ready for my entire family to disown me.”What. A. Conundrum. I supposed no matter how much you twisted it around, someone was going to end up hurt. However, in this case, Trista was hurting her family. She was not just hurting a person, but she was hurting people; people that were dear to her. I felt sorry for her. I’d hate to be in her shoes. “I hope Harry is worth it, Tris. I’ll skin him alive if he’s playing you for a fool,” Lindsey finally spoke up. “Make sure he’s worth it because if he isn’t, maybe it’s time to move on,” I added as I looked at her saddened face. I turned to Lindsey. “How’s Amber doing?” After her hermit-like hiding in Lake Tahoe, I spoke to her briefly before we all rode back to school yesterday morning. She

said she was tired and that she didn’t feel like talking. I gave her a quick hug and let her be. “She dropped out today and left for New York to be with her grandmother. She didn’t even say goodbye in person. All I got was a freaking text message.” Trista looked even more upset now. Lindsey and I confirmed that we got the same message. “Will her grandmother help her?” Amber needed to heal and deal with her drug habit. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I really hope so because I don’t know what I’d do if she overdoses. She’s stubborn and doesn’t like to be told what to do. It’s hard to help someone when they don’t want to help themselves.” I was going to ask Lindsey about the men in her life when I got interrupted. “Here you are!” Carter surprised me as he gave me a big smacking kiss on the lips. “Hey, Tris and baby sis.” “Hey, yourself. What are you doing here? I thought you had class?” I asked as he sat on my retro chic armrest. “I do and I’m about to head out soon. I just wanted to drop by and say hi. How about I take you ladies out tonight for dinner?” All three of us exchanged glances. They knew I was going to see Bass tonight, so they remained mum. “Baby, about that… I’m actually going to go meet Bass

tonight. This was planned a week ago.” Sort of… Carter immediately tensed. “Do you really need to go see him? I don’t think it’s necessary, Em. He can go fuck himself.” “Ugh, you’re such a tool, Carter. You didn’t like it when Emma was making your life a living hell, right? So back off! You just got her back; don’t make her change her mind now.” Catty, weren’t we? Lindsey didn’t want me back with Carter—that was obvious. I knew she loved him, but I wasn’t sure why she didn’t want us together. “Just back-up a second there, Linds.” Carter turned to me and spoke, “If this is what you need to do, then I trust you, okay? I have to run to class. I love you.” “I love you.” With a quick kiss, he darted off to his class. “That was harsh, Lindsey!” Trista chided. Lindsey just shrugged and leaned back. “I just don’t know. I don’t want him to hurt Emma again. Look, there’s this guy who is super sex on legs that treats her so well and she’s trading that to be with Carter? I don’t know. I just don’t want you to have any regrets, Em. That’s all.” “Lindsey has a point, Emma, but if Carter is the one that really makes you happy, then we will fully support you.” “Thank you.”

The thought of seeing Bass again made my stomach churn. So much had happened since I last saw him five days ago. Tonight, I had to be brave when I faced him. I would have to keep myself composed, no matter how Bass treated me. I supposed I’d get to see how good of an actress I could be. It was time to put my big girl panties on and act like one. ~E~

I dressed with the utmost consideration. I chose a silver and black sequined, silk tunic, loose dress that stopped at mid-thigh and had a low curved back. I left my hair loose and amped up my make-up. I went for the smoky eye look and accentuated the top part of my cheeks and the curve of my eyebrows with a slight white shimmer mousse cream. I applied my candy pink lipstick and finished it off with a swipe of tinted peach gloss and then blended them together. It was already twenty to six and I would be extremely late if I didn’t leave right away. Frantic, I gathered my silver clutch as I slipped into my silver cut-out bootie shoes in haste. “I’m leaving!” I called out to Lindsey, splashing a spray of my perfume before dashing out the door. I slipped inside my G-Class white on black Mercedes and headed to the restaurant, getting a call from my mom as soon as I got on the

road. “Sweetie, how are you?” Mom’s voice came through the car’s speakers. I sighed once I saw the traffic jam that awaited me. Crapper. “I’m well, Mom. I was hoping to speak to you guys tomorrow or the day after? It’s about something important.” “That sounds serious. What is it about?” Mom sounded worried. “It sorta is—well it’s about my future… I think I’ve finally found my niche,” I went on, giving her a clue. “Hmm… why do I feel like this is going to give me a cardiac arrest?” Mom sounded suspicious. “Your dad and I are both off tomorrow since Aunt Gemma and baby Joey are visiting.” A car honked behind me and I rolled my eyes. Geez, what’s the hurry? Everyone is bumper to bumper. No one is going anywhere so there’s no need for the damn honking! I fumed. Cali drivers… they’re fucking insane! “You shouldn’t be talking and driving at the same time, young lady!” My mother scolded me for the thousandth time. “One word—Bluetooth.” “I’m getting off the phone now so you can focus. We’ll see you tomorrow. Love you, kiddo.” “Love you, too, Mommy Dearest,” I said as a joke.

Finally, at six-forty, I was outside of the French restaurant, Melisse, on Wilshire Boulevard. I was ten minutes late and I was so nervous I felt like I was about to piss my undies. I took three calming breaths before I got out of the car and handed my keys to the valet. Once inside, I was greeted by a slim, pretty brunette. “Good evening, I’m Alyssa. Do you have a reservation?” “I’m with the Lombardo party,” I said and noticed how her eyes snapped open. “With Bass Cole? He just got here.” She started to become chatty as she eyed me with interest. “Okay. Um, can you direct me to where the table is located?” I pointed towards the dining room. She immediately stood ram-rod straight and stepped out to show me to my table. “Certainly, sorry. It’s just that I am a huge fan of Bass. I heard he’s going to make a risqué Lombardo film. Is that true? I can’t wait to see him on the big screen. He oozes raw sexuality, don’t you agree?” Alyssa smiled as she sashayed about. “I suppose,” I muttered. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel like talking, it was the fact that she was talking about Bass and I didn’t want to talk about him. Martin and Bass were already seated in a darkened corner, talking in hushed voices. Martin stood up as I neared the table and

Bass… well… he barely glanced my way. “Here you are. Is everything to your liking, Mr. Lombardo?” Alyssa asked in a saccharine tone. “Perfect, thank you.” Martin dismissed her in a polished manner as he came over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek and pulled out my chair. “Good evening, Martin, Bass.” “Emma,” Bass greeted me through gritted teeth. I hated that he was treating me with cold indifference. It made me feel like shit. Sensing the tension, Martin stepped in. “Still looking beautiful as ever, Emma, how are you? How was Tahoe?” Martin inquired as he poured me a glass of Shiraz. “I had a great time. I’m glad to be home though.” I looked at Bass, but he was busy on his phone, completely ignoring me as he sipped on his wine. The waiter came and took our orders and Martin waited a minute or two before speaking again. “Thanks for taking on the role as Angela on such short notice, Emma. I must say that I am quite anxious to start filming this movie. The studio had a lot of reservations about it in the beginning once the script was done, but that didn’t deter me. You and Bass will make it happen for me. I can’t wait to see it on the big screen.” Wow, pressure much? “Thank you. It’s not like I could decline

it. It’s a great opportunity for me and thank you for offering it. You don’t know how awesome this is.” I cleared my throat before I continued, “You know, just in case I totally suck, you can take the money back. I’m not doing this for the money. I’m doing this because I really love to act and I want to see if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.” That caught Bass’s attention. He and Martin roared with laughter. “Oh, Emma Anderson, you are a gem. Where have you been hiding all this time? I like your personality. You’re going to be great, so your money back guarantee assurance is of no need, my dear.” Martin shook his head in wonderment. Yes, the money was great. Come on, it was one million dollars, but in all honesty, I was really doing this for myself. There was no other reason behind it. “So what were you up to this weekend, Emma?” Bass finally diverted his attention to me as he slipped his phone inside his pocket. His azure eyes were drawing me in, looking very decadent and sinful. I licked my lips. “I… uh, partied and spent a lot of time catching up with my friends.” Martin excused himself to take a phone call. Bass waited until Martin was out of earshot before he spoke again. “And Carter?

You’re back with him, aren’t you?” Shit. How does he do that? He seemed to just know. “Yes, we did get back together.” I braved it out and took a quick glance at him. Sigh, why did he have to be so… everything? Bass was playing with his fork, making circles with it as he stared at it. “It was going to happen eventually. It was a given when you decided to join them. A part of me hoped you didn’t though.” Bass lifted his eyes. They burned holes in me. Ah, fuck. We stared at each other and I took in his face. How did he get such perfect skin? Was he a fan of facials? Fuck, and those lips… I dreamt of those lips. Why was he so stingy with his kisses? I still didn’t get it. It was like the more he hesitated, the more I craved them. But it was just as well; I was with Carter now. “Bass, are you angry with me?” He gave me a sad smile before he shook his handsome head. His dirty blond hair stuck out in all sorts of directions—bed head—but he sported it perfectly. In fact, it made him look sexier. “What should I be angry about, Em? That you’re in love with Carter? No, I am not angry. I’m not an idiot.” Bass huffed out a sigh. “As long as you’re happy, nothing else matters.” “Bass! Fancy seeing you here! I’ve missed you. Do you want to come over again tonight? I’m free and available for you,” A stunning woman interrupted us and gave Bass a long lingering kiss

on the lips. No. Shit. This woman had the privilege to kiss him? I eyed her with a covetous stare. When the blonde woman came up for air, Bass spoke, “Lydia, this is Emma Anderson. She and I will be co-starring in Blasphemous.” When Lydia finally turned to me, I was rendered speechless. Hell, she looked like a pretty angel. She was tall and lithe with clear blue eyes. Wait—Lydia? As in Lydia Cornwell? Ha! She really was an angel… a Victoria’s Secret angel. “Hello, Lydia. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” “Same to you, Emma.” She gave me a beautiful smile before looking back at Bass. “Call me tonight? I’ve got to go. My agent is here with me. I will see you tomorrow. I can’t wait for Canada!” Lydia said her goodbyes, giving Bass another kiss before she turned to me and gave me another fucking smile. Her smile, it was genuine, not one of the fake ones. I simmered even more. “She’s an actress, too?” I didn’t know that. “No, I invited her along to join me. I didn’t want to get bored in Canada.” Right… because a pretty angel would be making all your wishes come true. “Well, good for you. I guess now we’re both happy. How

quaint,” I said sourly. “Sorry the call took a while.” Martin slid back in to his seat. I was rather grateful that Martin chose that moment to come back. I couldn’t look at Bass. My stomach was churning and my mind was working overtime. Ding dong, what do you call that? Oh yeah, jealousy. It was twisting me up like a damn pretzel. Once the food arrived, the conversation stuck to the movie we were about to film. The food was excellent. It was fine French cuisine with a twist of fusion. After the two hour, four-course meal, we were ready to head out. After Martin signed the bill, he spoke, “I will keep in touch, Emma. My assistant, Jack, will contact your agent directly if there are any requirements that are altered or added. If you have any questions, you can call me directly. “Bass, have a safe flight. I will speak to you soon, son. I have to go to a film screening at Scorsese’s house. Drive carefully, you two.” We all stood up to leave and with a quick hug, he abruptly left us alone. “Have a great evening, Mr. Cole. Come and dine with us again, sometime soon,” Alyssa called out. “I will. The food was excellent as always. Thank you,” Bass spoke with sincerity and graced Alyssa with his signature smile. I think Alyssa almost died. The love-sick puppy blushed and almost

freaked out. Sigh. Outside, we both handed our tickets to the valet attendant. We waited side-by-side for our cars. I suppose this is it then. I thought sickly. “Will you stay the night with me, Em?” I tensed. Crap. “Bass, I don’t think that would be good for either of us.” He exhaled and looked at the passing traffic. “I know it isn’t, but I’m asking anyway. I won’t be seeing you until Greece. That’s months from now. I just want to spend time with you.” “But Greece is months from now. I thought we’d stay friends?” Was he planning to just drop and un-friend me? “I know and we will.” Bass’s azure gaze captured my eyes. It was hard to tear them away from the beautiful depths of his. “I choose not to see you until Greece because it will take a long time for me to get over you and the fact that I’ve been rejected for the very first time. What’s bruised my psyche is that you were the first woman I wanted to have a real relationship with. I just want this night with you, Em. That’s all I ask. If it’s too much, I’ll understand.” I stared at him with my arms folded, my lips pressed together and my foot was tapping. I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how I could do that without hurting anyone. Carter would go apeshit if he learned that I had decided to stay the night with Bass. Did I want to

spend time with Bass? Yes, very much so. I was going to miss him when he left. “Give me just a second. I need to make a quick call.” With my phone in hand, I stepped a few yards away from him. Lindsey picked up on the first ring. Thank God! “I have a mammoth-sized problem.” “Spill.” I groaned before I spoke. I hated to be in that position. I wanted to kick something and hyperventilate at the same time. “Bass wants to spend time with me tonight. Do you think I should? Carter will lose his shit if he ever found out!” “Well, are you planning on screwing each other tonight?” “No, Lindsey. Bass hasn’t even managed to kiss me. He just wants to hang out and do the usual stuff we do, I suppose.” “Good, because if that was the case, I don’t want any part of it. I might not like my brother for you, but he is my brother and I don’t want him hurt. Now that we’ve cleared that up, why don’t you tell Carter that you’re visiting your parents and you’re staying the night with them? It’s the best excuse.” It was a perfect excuse. “You’re the best, Lindsey. I’ll call you soon, okay?” “Please do and please, please don’t do anything that isn’t PG13, got it? Now, go be a good girl.”

“Will do. Bye, doll.” Next call, Carter. I wasn’t really a big fan of lying, really I wasn’t, but this was a special circumstance—selfish as it was. I didn’t know why I had the need to spend the night with Bass, but I felt like we owed it to each other. Sort of like an ending to the little ‘something’ we had. Only it wasn’t a little something. It was much more than that, but I wasn’t ready to look beyond the surface and dig deeper. Chicken? Just a tad. I feared what I would find if I did. “Carter, hey,” I greeted him as he came on the other line. “Are you on your way home, babe? Is it going to be my place or yours tonight?” Carter happily asked. Yeah, about that… “I’m driving to see my parents tonight. My aunt is in town and I want to visit with her and my baby cousin.” I was going to my parents’ house, I tried to rationalize. “Oh. Sure, no prob. I want to take you out to dinner.” “Yeah, that would be nice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Carter.” “Love you, Emma.” “Yeah, me, too.” I cut off the call before he had the chance to question me. I didn’t know what was going on either. I did love Carter, didn’t I? I just couldn’t bring myself to say I loved him when Bass was so

close to me. Turning around, I walked towards Bass who was leaning against my car, waiting and watching every move I made. The valet attendant waited for me to finish my call before he handed me my keys. I graciously thanked him as I gave him a tip. “I’m all set. I’ll follow you to your house.” He shook his head. “That won’t do. You have to ride with me. I’m not letting you out of my sight. I will have someone pick your car up and drive it back to my place.” Bass held out his hand. “Your keys?” Okay, that was workable and made total sense. I handed him my car keys as he guided me towards his car. Bass called Lou, his driver, to pick up my car, giving him the location of the restaurant and instructing him to drive it back to his house and leave the keys on the table in his entry hall. The ride back to his house was silent. Bass’s usual happy demeanor, that I was so accustomed to, didn’t surface. He was rather quiet and serious and didn’t bother with small talk. I supposed we were so engrossed in our own conflicted thoughts. Once we got to Hollywood Hills, I started to fidget. What the hell was I doing? Carter would kill me. At the same time, though, I felt like Bass and I had unfinished business… but to what extent? That was the million dollar question I had yet to find an answer to.

“A desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately another comes. In the interval which separates two desires a perfect calm reigns in the mind. It is at this moment freed from all thought, love or hate. Complete peace equally reigns between two mental waves.”

~Swami Sivananda

Twenty-Two “Do you want anything to drink?” Bass asked as he strolled towards the kitchen. My feet shifted as I held my clutch in both hands. “Water would be great, thank you.” Bass cocked his head towards me. “Do you want wine as well?” Shit. Did I really need alcohol right now? In a sense, yes. I was nervous and I didn’t know why. I had been to his house before and both times, nothing crazy really happened. I guess the only thing that I should have been worried about was me because Bass was making me think of things that I shouldn’t have been thinking about. “Um, sure that would be lovely.” Bass gave me a dimpled, lazy smile. “Right away.” Oh, geez. That smile of his… The silence was short lived because Bass’s cell phone started

ringing. “Yep?” he answered as he pulled a bottle opener from a drawer and slid it closed. His teeth bit his bottom lip as he concentrated on opening the wine bottle while he was listening to the person yapping in his ear. “I might check it out. Yes, might. Gotcha. Bye.” I moved towards the marbled counter and sat across from him. He was still biting his bottom lip when he looked at me. Smolder overdose anyone? “There’s a promotional bash at a club tonight. Do you want to come and party for a little bit with some of my friends?” Should I? “Will there be paparazzi lurking around?” Yeah, I had to ask. I would be put through the meat grinder tomorrow if Carter found out or anyone from school, for that matter. “Yes, they are always around, especially at hot spots, but we can go through the back door and no one will know that you’ve been partying with me.” “It’s nothing personal, Bass. I just…” Don’t want Carter to know… for now. Carter didn’t even know about the movie yet. I’d tell him after I told my parents tomorrow, most definitely. Bass poured us a glass of wine and slid mine carefully towards me. “Carter; got it.” I opened my mouth to deny it, but ended up shutting it and instead, decided to swirl my wine glass before I took a small sip.

“What’s the verdict?” he asked, raking a hand through his dark blond hair, making it look all hot and sexy. “Yeah, I could do with some dancing.” “Awesome! Let me just get a quick shower then we’ll head out, is that cool?” Bass asked and drained his entire glass, looking sexy as sin. I licked my lips and blushed. Without looking him in the eye, I responded, “Yes, sounds great.” Why, oh why, does Bass fucking Cole make me think of sex when he’s drinking wine? It was disturbing. Bass was off to shower and I was left alone with my thoughts… and they were full of IF’s. Ugh! Taking my wine with me, I strolled towards the patio and stared at the bright lights of the City of Angels. Tonight… tonight felt different with Bass. I supposed it was because I was with Carter now and it made things feel even more… not weird… constricted, perhaps, leaning towards restricted. I think it was because during the short time with Bass, he infiltrated my inner being. Bass had made his mark; he had marked me without me even noticing it. He was rooted somewhere deep inside and I didn’t know if I could erase the stamp he had made. I felt wretched and cut open. I mean, here I was, restarting my relationship with Carter and yet Bass was hounding my thoughts. I

didn’t know if I was so blinded with the realization that I fell in love with Carter that I didn’t really see or realize what was really going on before me with Bass. After ten minutes, I heard him say, “Ready?” I turned around and found Bass standing next to the sliding patio glass door. His hair was still wet, but what really caught me was how the plain white shirt and washed out jeans made him look like a hot, smoking, rock god. I felt my nipples tighten at the very sight of him. I was in so much trouble! “I know, I look too plain for a club, but I really don’t feel like dressing up and all that.” Uh, the prepped up Bass looked sexy, but the laid back allAmerican look was just downright yummy! I’ll take both please! I was bothered that my thoughts were bordering on cheating. Was it really cheating fantasizing about Bass instead of Carter? A little, perhaps? “Let me just grab my clutch then I’m all set to go,” I muttered. As I walked past him, my senses went into hysterics as I got a whiff of that shower gel he used. I almost stopped, almost. I just wanted to drown in that sexy fucking smell. I was such a basket case. How the hell was I going to get through the rest of the night if I all I could think about was Bass fucking Cole?

Once I got to the barstool where my clutch sat, I stared at it while my thoughts rampaged on. I was seriously losing it… I almost moaned when Bass touched the side of my hip and asked, “Everything okay, Em?” NO! It’s not okay. My body seems to be wired with a crazy amount of sexual energy and all I can think about is fucking you until I can’t take it anymore! No, nothing is okay. “Yes, let’s go.” ~E~

“Emma, how is Bass in the sack?” the hot brunette asked me, giggling. I thought she was dating Bass’s friend, Stan… Stud… Stew? Meh, I didn’t remember. Bass had introduced me to a lot of people at the club and I hadn’t managed to remember any of their names. “I heard he’s a beast! I heard Sheila’s friend, Masie, actually spent a night with him at some hotel. She said Bass fucked Masie four times in one night. I’m so jealous of you, Emma,” the blonde, honey-eyed chick said. “Yeah, he surely is a beast,” I giggled back. Here I go, lying again. I found that there was no point in trying to rationalize with these women when I arrived with Bass earlier. It seemed that in Hollywood, once a woman arrives—or is seen—with a famous

actor anywhere, it’s a given that they’re sexing it up. So, in my champagne/tequila/vodka muddled head, I was owning Bass. These girls that were introduced to me by Bass were fun—a dum-dum kind of fun. All they talked about was Hollywood, plastic surgery, gossip and hot men. In my semi-coherent state, I didn’t remember their names and yet, I had been hanging out with them for two hours or so. I just called them—in my head—the pretty blonde, hot brunette, so-so redhead and goldilocks. My gurgling laughter died when my eyes darted across the club and saw a girl trying to get Bass’s attention. I didn’t think twice before I got up. I excused myself and marched over to them. The woman looked like some hot vamped up Latina. She was drop dead gorgeous. I fumed and stepped right in between them. “Emma,” Bass uttered, a little surprised that I was being bold towards him. “Dance with me, Bass,” I ordered and grabbed his hand. The vamped up woman pulled my hand away from holding Bass’s. Nah, uh. She. Did. Not. Just. Do. That! “Bitch! Back the fuck off! He’s mine!” The stupid bitch smiled. “No, he’s not. He’s single. I know this because we hooked up last night.”The stupid bitch looked smug as

hell when she saw how her words affected me. Stupid bitch can go fuck herself! “Choose, Bass. It’s her or me.” I started tapping my foot as I simmered some more. What if Bass chooses her? Ah, fuck. I didn’t think that far ahead! Before Bass could answer, the stupid bitch spoke, “Who the hell are you? Are you like some random psycho who wants to get it on with an actor? I think you should start with the Z-list ones and not head straight, like a piranha, to the A-listers.” I was about to retaliate when Bass pulled me towards the dance floor, but before he did, he managed to holler at the stupid bitch, “Don’t ever talk to me again, Cassandra. Emma is not on any alphabetical list. She is on The List.” Bass took me to the other side of the dance floor and shoved me up against the wall. I knew the music was thumping, but I had no clue what song was on and I was oblivious of the people around us. The dance floor was packed, but all I noticed was Bass’s searing, blistering gaze. “I think you should stop with the Mojitos, Emma. You’re clearly wasted already.” I sneered. Yes, I certainly was. “Well, if you weren’t busy flirting with all the women here, I wouldn’t have made a scene.” He leaned closer, both hands on the sides of my head, as he whispered in my ear, “You’re off limits, Emma. You made it that

way.” His hot breath made me shiver. I closed my eyes and devoured his scrumptious aroma. God, help me. I didn’t know anymore. Bass pressed his hot body against mine, his heart beating erratically. I moved closer and nestled my nose on his neck. My nose slid up and down and I felt him shiver. Since I was going crazy, I went even further. I stuck out the tip of my tongue and licked the base of his neck, stopping in the middle and biting into it while my hand went inside his shirt and clawed his back, wanting him closer. “Emma… you’re killing me here,” Bass spoke in between hissing and moaning. “How do you like it, Bass? Hard and rough? Nice and slow? Or fast and delirious?” I whispered against his ear. Yep! I was way past drunk. I was ludicrous. Bass groaned as he pushed his hardened state between my hips. “I want you… I want all of you. I want your hot body on my bed, wide open and ready. Your cunt will be annihilated. Your sweet, little pussy will be destroyed and I will not stop until it is ravaged and weeping with wetness… and you screaming for me to stop because you can’t take anymore.” Need I say that my silk thong was soaked? Need I say that I was going bat-shit crazy with horniness?

“Bass, I want you.” Bass pulled a bit away from me, our bodies still connected, while his eyes pierced mine. His magnetic eyes darkened as he saw my overtly wanton face. “Be with me, Emma. Just say the word and I’m yours.” “I don’t know if I can.” I loved Carter, but with Bass, it was complex and enthralling. It frightened me. I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for that kind of terrifying possession. He bit his bottom lip then looked to his right as he processed what I said. Bass huffed out a deep breath. Composing himself, he gave me a bright smile. “I just had to try one more time, I guess.” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and grabbed my hand. “Come on! Let’s go and join our party.” And so we did. The entire time, Bass avoided touching me. When other random girls came up to get a picture with him, he obliged them. When they wanted to dance with him, he gladly went. When they flirted and touched him, he didn’t stop them. And so, the jealous bitch that I was—but had no fucking right to be—drank some more delicious Mojitos. I wanted to get drunk and just pass the fuck out. I didn’t want to think about Bass anymore. Of course, it was short-lived, but it was worth it. ~E~

“Can you manage to get out of the car?” Bass asked me before opening his door. We were back at his house and parked right outside his four-car garage. I just groaned. “Sure,” I slurred. “I’m a pro. Just you watch.” Well, I haven’t been this drunk ever in my life, but sure? Why the hell not? It’s only walking, right? I opened the door and stepped out and then my head started to spin. Whoops! I leaned over the hood of his sports car and took off my shoes. The engine was hot on my butt and I just wanted to stay there awhile. I laid my body back on top of the hot-hood. It felt good, I sighed satisfyingly. I was drunk, tired, confused and so messed up. I smiled as I closed my eyes. Yes, this definitely felt better. I heard Bass’s footsteps as he stopped before me, somewhere close. He cleared his throat, “Em, you can’t sleep there. That’s not a bed.” Bass was clearly amused. Whatever, go away! “I don’t like you right now, Bass-boy, Bass-kill, Bass-hole, Bass-tard!” I mumbled, but cracked a small smile. Since my legs were slightly parted, Bass swiftly planted himself in between them while both of his hands caressed my legs. Ah, dammit! “I love this drunk you. It’s very entertaining.” Blah, whatever. Just stop touching my legs will you… not?

I bucked when his hands went higher and his thumbs caressed the inner lining of my thong. Sweet… sweet mother of mercy… “Can I kiss you?” Bass whispered to me. That certainly made my eyes snap open. Oh. Hell. No. …Yes? Since I didn’t have the guts to look at him, I stared at the twinkling stars above me. Possibly asking for my mind back… or forgiveness? I wasn’t too sure. “Um, I thought you didn’t want to kiss me?” “Not those lips, Emma.” I lost my ability to breathe. Did he just ask me… if… he could go down on me? His thumb was now slowly lifting the side bands of my underwear. “Emma...” Hearing my name uttered from Bass’s lips with such raw intensity became my undoing. I let out a loud moan when both of his thumbs caressed my soaked mound. “God, your cunt is drowned in your hot juices,” Bass hissed as his thumb slid up and down my folds while the other thumb rubbed my nub. I bit my lip and whimpered. Imagine my shock when he completely took those sinful thumbs away. I sat up, dazed and confused. My world stopped spinning when I found his eyes. Bass

gave me a devilish smile while he traced his thumb on his lips and licked it. I swallowed. Hell, could he be any sexier? “I want more of those succulent juices, Emma.” Speechless, I stared agog. I stuck out my tongue and licked my suddenly dry lips. I wanted to… God, I wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t. Carter. “You know I can’t, Bass.” He grazed his thumb on the tip of my bottom lip. “You’re such a sweet temptation. You have just enough mixture of sweetness and feistiness. I can’t help wanting you.” “I like you too much, Bass. I feel what you feel, but in a twisted way, my heart is with Carter.” “If Carter is the one that makes you happy, then I wish you all the luck, Emma.” Why did I have the urge to cry? It felt like someone was pressing down on my chest and I was having a hard time breathing. Out of the blue, Bass plucked me off the hood and carried me towards the house. I was grateful that he did because I didn’t have the energy to climb the stairs. Once we got to his bedroom, he slowly undressed me. “Bass, I don’t know about this.” “I won’t cop a feel, I promise. I just want you to be comfortable. Is that agreeable to you?” His eyes searched mine and

I fought back the urge to capture his lips. When my dress was finally off me, I forgot to warn him that I didn’t have a bra on. The dress didn’t need me to wear one since it already had built-in support. Bass’s eyes became dilated and my nipples tightened at his scrutiny. “Bass? Can you hand me a shirt?” He snapped out of his funk and cleared his throat, mumbling an apology. Once I was safe in the confines of the large cotton shirt, I slid inside his bed. I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. After five minutes of not hearing any commotion, I sat up and found Bass sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. Baffled, I got off the bed and moved towards him. “Hey, what’s upsetting you?” Bass shook his head. “I don’t think it’s wise to sleep next to you. I don’t trust myself not to touch you with what little you have on.” Well, I knew he wouldn’t have sex with me unless I chose him—and only him—so it was irrelevant if he slept in the same bed with me or not. I tried to pull him up, but didn’t succeed. He stood up, held me and we fell on the bed together. He immediately nuzzled my neck in a ticklish way and I started laughing like a little kid. That was all well and good, until his hand skimmed downwards, cupped my ass and

squeezed it. I moaned when he softly bit my earlobe. HELL. “Bass… no…” His hands were drawing close inside my thighs. I wanted him to touch me so bad I felt like I was dying, but I knew it couldn’t happen. Not like that. So, I took charge and rolled on top of him. “Let’s go to sleep. Playtime’s over.”

“The best and strongest attraction is unspoken…it’s that crazy chemistry where you don’t have to say a word.”

~Author Unknown

Twenty-Three Bass nodded and got off the bed. He shifted his pants and from what I could see, he was hard. “I’m going to get us some water. I’ll be back.” I sighed dramatically and fell back on the bed. If I thought my life was complicated before, then I had been mistaken. I looked over on the side table to check what time it was—four forty-five. I had to go see my parents before I went back to school. Shit. Shit. Shit. Bass strolled in with a glass of ice water and handed it to me. He looked mighty serious. I bet he was thinking that I was a major tease, or something along those lines. Or maybe he was thinking… nothing. “Thanks.” I downed half the glass before Bass took it and placed it on his bedside table. Without taking off his clothes, he laid next to me, pulling me to his chest. I heard him huff out a long sigh as he started to stroke my hair. Since I didn’t know what to say, I kept my mouth shut… as did he.

After ten minutes or so, he shifted to lay on his side, facing my body. He gathered me in his arms and pulled me close to him again. I could feel his heartbeat vibrating against my chest. I kissed his neck and left my lips and nose there, nicely tucked. No words were spoken, but we knew what was going on. It was goodbye. We fell asleep like that, holding each other. No words were needed. ~E~

I woke up an hour later from the uncomfortable position that I was in. When I tried to move away, Bass’s arms immediately released me. He was clearly in a deep coma-like rest. After the kind of night we had, I wasn’t surprised. I stared at his sleeping face and felt my heart lurch and constrict. I was one confused woman; loving one man and lusting and caring for another. I wanted to touch his face and caress it, I wanted to kiss those full lips of his and feel their soft warmth, but I didn’t. I didn’t need another reason to muddy my mind up more. Sliding off the mattress, I walked towards the foot of the bed where my thong and dress had been abandoned. The once soaked thong was now dry and I was thankful because it would’ve been uncomfortable to wear and I clearly didn’t need another reminder of

what I’d been up to all night. With another lingering glance at Bass, I left his room. Sure enough, my keys were on the foyer table. I was surprised to see my clutch and shoes there, too. Hadn’t I left my purse and shoes outside, next to Bass’s car last night? He probably went to get them before he came back upstairs. Putting my shoes on, I silently left his house. I strode towards my waiting car and slid inside. I thanked my lucky stars that Bass had one of those automatic gates that had sensors which only opened for outgoing cars and joined the traffic on 101 Freeway. My thoughts were troubled. I had a long drive to my parents’ house and used that time to try and sort out my feelings. Two hours later, I arrived at my mom and dad’s house, sighing with relief when I turned on to my parent’s lemon tree-lined, winding driveway. I parked on the opposite side of the house because I didn’t plan to stay long. With my keys in hand, I strolled towards the Spanish-styled home. It was ten-thirtyish; my parents would be up and about already. I was greeted by the smell of pancakes and I followed the odor like a hypnotized person. My stomach growled, loudly. “Hi, Mom, Dad and Aunt Gem,” I greeted the trio who were about to eat by the looks of it. My parents looked at me oddly. What?

“Where did you come from? Why are you all dolled up?” my mom asked with a worried expression on her face. Oh, that! I forgot I was dressed in my clothes from last night. “Yeah, about that, that’s what I came here to talk about.” I did wear this get-up to meet with Martin last night, so it was kind of connected. “You look stunning, darling.” Aunt Gemma came over and gave me a quick hug and then pulled me towards the table and made me sit. “Where’s baby Joey?” I asked as my parents joined Aunt Gemma and me at the table. “He’s in school, dear,” Aunt Gem responded before she took a bite of her pancakes. “Spill it now, Em. The suspense is killing us.” Mom pressed her lips together as she stared at me, waiting. “I got offered to star in a movie by Martin Lombardo.” “You’re going to be an actress, Emma?” Aunt Gemma asked with a big smile. After a few silent moments, both Mom and Dad cackled like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I looked at both of them, baffled. Okay… were they laughing at me? Did they think I was joking? When they both finished, Mom and Dad wiped their eyes.

Laughing tears, great. Dad spoke first, “And here we were thinking you were going to tell us you were pregnant or something.” My dad pulled me close and kissed my head. “You’re going to do great, kiddo. How did you manage to nab this role? You didn’t mention you were planning to be an actress.” “Well, I wasn’t. The role was handed to me on a silver platter and I couldn’t pass it up. I really do think this is it for me. To be an actress, I mean.” Mom squeezed me tight. “I’m so proud of you, kiddo. Now, what’s the storyline about? A Lombardo film you said? I bet it will easily get an Oscar, don’t you think so, honey?” She looked towards my father and he gave her a great, big smile. It was clear that they were still in love. “It’s about a married woman who cheats on her husband. When the husband finds out, he beats his wife up. When her lover sees her bruised, cut-up body, he kills the husband. The lover straps the dead body on the hook of a speed boat and dumps him in the Atlantic Ocean where he’s fed to the sharks. It was much more than that, but I gave them a quick summary. “Wow, that’s a pretty gritty storyline,” Mom said as she took a quick sip of her coffee. “Yes, it is, but a bit on the erotic side, too.” That got their

attention. “What’s your role?” Dad inquired with a frown. I felt sorry for him before I blurted out my answer. “I’m going to be Angela, the wife.” My dad got up and started to pace. “You mean, you’ll be naked? In a movie, where all of our friends and family can see you? The rest of the world will see my baby naked?” My dad was starting to turn red. Thank God my mom stepped in. “Sit your ass down, Seth. We have to discuss this as a family.” Mom composed herself and Dad went back to his seat and simmered like a little kid. “Emma, we understand that you want to become an actress. Ever since you were little, you always loved to act and would put on little plays for us with your Barbies. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great opportunity for you, but at the same time, do you want to risk your self-preservation and morality for a film that will possibly pay you a hundred grand or so? Think long and hard about this, once this is filmed, it will be out there forever. Your kids will see it. Your children’s children will see it. Do you want to be haunted by that?” “I do get your point, Mom. Trust me, I do, but this is what I want. For the past couple of years, I have been drifting along, not knowing what I wanted to do in life. I didn’t think acting was possible for me. I hadn’t even thought about it since I graduated

high school, but now, since this has practically landed in my lap, I will not be discouraged from doing it. I want to do it. I already signed the contract last week and they’re not paying me a hundred grand, Mom. They’re paying me one million dollars.” “God, help me! My daughter becomes a movie star and I can’t even brag about it to my friends, let alone watch it,” my dad muttered under his breath. I really felt bad for my dad. I got up and hugged him from behind the chair. “I’m sorry, Dad, but you have to understand. I want this. I’m a big girl; I can handle it.” My mom leaned back and slightly shook her head like she was trying to digest everything I just spouted out at them. “Well, as much as we don’t want you to do this film, we’ll support you in any way we can. Wow! Our daughter’s a millionaire and she’s not even twenty-one.” My Aunt Gem got up and congratulated me, “You’re going to be a beautiful actress, Emma. You have a beautiful heart and a beautiful face. The world is going to love you! I just know it.” Although I doubted that the whole world would like my acting or that they would all love me, I thanked her all the same. What mattered was that she meant it. “When do you start filming?” Dad inquired as he started to eat. “May; and it’s going to be filmed in Greece.”

“Good, then you still have time to prepare,” Mom murmured. “Yeah, enough time for my kiddo to think it through and back out of the movie,” my father added and he meant it, too. Not happening, Dad. Aunt Gem stepped in, “Oh, stop it. This is a great thing for our little, Emma. Stop ruining her mood.” When I glanced at the time and saw that it was about to hit noon, I decided to get moving. “I have to go. I have class later this afternoon. I’ll call you guys soon, okay? I want to see little Joey.” I grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp. Mom and Dad stood up and hugged me. “We’ll see you soon. Congratulations, baby!” Mom kissed me on the cheek while Dad kissed my forehead. “Drive carefully, will you? I think I’ve had enough shock to last me a lifetime,” Dad mumbled. “Always, Dad.” I gave a quick goodbye to my aunt and waved at them. “Love you lots,” I yelled before leaving the kitchen and going out the front door. Turning on the engine, my mood started to sink at the thought of seeing Carter. One down, one to go.

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.”

~H.G. Wells

Twenty-Four The moment I parked my car, I fished out my phone and texted Carter. Me: Hey. I just got back in town. Can you come over? It beeped after a minute. Carter: Be there soon, babe. Fuck! I didn’t even know how to break it to him. We just got back together. I cared for Bass and the thought of the intimate moments that I shared with him, saddened me because I would never have those moments with him again. I supposed we really needed last night to get closure. Since Carter would be here any second, I got out of my car and went inside the dorm. Lindsey wasn’t home and I was relieved. I didn’t need a witness when Carter had a meltdown and lost his shit. In my room, I fought the urge to shower and instead, changed into my jean short-shorts and a loose, baby blue cotton shirt. I didn’t want to prolong any of this and have Carter waiting on me.

This confrontation needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. I couldn’t tiptoe around the subject. I made a choice and I had to stand by it. I looked up when I heard the door unlock. “Em?” “I’m in here,” I called out. I was on edge and a little jittery to boot. Here we go… Carter came through the door and immediately gave me a huge smile when he saw me. “I missed you!” “I need to tell you something important,” I started as I eyed him. Carter instantly tensed and his handsome face contorted. “What’s it about?” Carter whispered as he stared back at me, apprehensive. Shit. “Something happened with Bass last night...” I didn’t even get the chance to finish before Carter started pacing. “Define ‘happened’ Emma? You had sex with him, is that it?” “No. I stayed with him last night, nothing really happened except his hand lingering a bit longer on certain areas.” And how I really wanted to succumb to him and try to get him out of my system I thought to myself. Carter stopped pacing and sat back down again. His hurt face tugged at something inside me. “Bass didn’t fuck you?”

Isn’t that what I just said? That’s what I got for being whorebag-ish. Nope, Bass and I didn’t have sex, but I was tempted. “No, it wasn’t like that,” I murmured, not meeting his eye. Carter ran both of his hands through his hair. “I’m hurt that you lied about going to sleep at your parents’ house, Em. How could you do this? We just barely got back together.” I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t know why I did the things I did with Bass. Another Emma emerged—frivolous, spontaneous, alive and uninhibited. With all my heart, I wanted so badly to say that I was sorry for doing it, but I would be lying to Carter if I apologized for something I didn’t regret doing. “Maybe it’s because we got back together too quickly? Maybe I didn’t see it coming and I’m still trying to place my feelings in order? I met Bass right after you. I got to spend time with him, Carter. Somehow, someway, he got through to me.” Carter groaned. “So, you’re back with him? You wanted me to drop by today because you’re breaking it off? I can’t believe this!” “I’m not with Bass. Last night was a one-time thing. I don’t think I will be hearing from him again.” Not for a while, I think. He’ll be too busy filming a movie during the day and having a beautiful stunning angel in his arms at night. Carter lied across my bed, both hands on his face. “Carter, I

didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. I meant it when I said I loved you. It’s just that, I’m as confused as ever. I didn’t mean for us to end this way. I honestly didn’t.” I did love Carter, I still did, but was it as consuming as before? No, Bass chipped a bit of that off. Carter huffed out a lungful of air and sat up, looking me directly in the eye. “I don’t want to break up with you, Em. I hate what you did, but I don’t think I can survive without you again. I had a taste of that and I sure as hell don’t want you to go back to that man. Take as much time as you need to figure things out in your head, I’ll still want to be with you. I love you and as badly as I want to think that you’re perfect, you’re human and, by nature, you’re going to make mistakes.” What? “You still want me after what I did?” I stared at him flabbergasted. Who the hell was this man? The old Carter would have stomped around and thrown a massive tantrum the entire campus would have witnessed. The Carter before me was someone I had yet to get to know. “I love you, Em,” he croaked as he softly touched the side of my face. “We’ll be okay. We’re just hitting some rough patches because I totally messed up before by not taking my time with you, but now that we’ve cleared that up, we can start anew.” Could we? Could Carter and I move past this hurdle? I

supposed I wouldn’t know if I didn’t give it a try. “Maybe you’re right. We can start fresh from here on,” I agreed. ~E~

A few weeks later… Carter was throwing a Halloween party tonight at his house. We ended up being Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean. We smiled like idiots when we checked each other out. My costume was on the sexy side, showing my belly button. Carter even had the whole dark eye-liner thing going. He took being Jack Sparrow quite seriously. “My, can I be your captive, Captain Jack?” Carter, I mean, Jack Sparrow gave me a chaste kiss and smiled, showing his toothy pirate smile. “Anything for my Miss Swan.” The party was wild and crazy–nothing unusual about a Carter Mason party and Carter and I were stuck like glue the whole time. We danced, we laughed and we made out like no one’s business. It didn’t take long for me to get sucked back into Carter’s world. Every time my thoughts drifted back to Bass, I immediately shut them down and shoved them somewhere in the back of my mind. I

didn’t want to jeopardize anything with Carter. I really wanted us to work out. I was happy. Carter made me very happy. When Thanksgiving rolled in, we spent it with my family. He was the second guy I brought home to meet my parents. Though Mom was very sweet and accommodating, my father, on the other hand, was a total pain. “Tell me, Carter, how many women have you had sex with?” My father asked in a serious manner during dinner before he popped a carrot in his mouth and chewed it leisurely. Of course, the entire table, including my aunt and baby nephew, got quiet. Baby Joey, though oblivious as to what the question meant, knew it was serious. Dad hadn’t acted like this when he met Lewis. I didn’t understand the third-degree with Carter. Mom warned Dad, but it was to no avail. Dad stood his ground while he waited for Carter to respond. He eyed Carter with heavy scrutiny. “Dad, can you at least act civilized. You’re being too invasive,” I hissed at him. Carter turned red. I figured that Carter might have a guesstimate, but not the exact digits.

I tensed when I heard Carter clear his throat. WTF? Was he really planning to answer that? How could he even manage to without getting his head chopped off? “I can honestly tell you, sir, that I do not know the answer to that question, but what I can tell you, with great frankness and confidence, is that since Emma came into my life, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. If you had asked me how many women I have loved in my life, it wouldn’t have taken me long to answer. I have only ever loved one and that is your daughter.” Oh, shit. I loved him even more in that moment. After a minute of silence, my father beamed. “It’s ironic. I gave Emma’s grandfather a similar answer when he asked me the same question. You are welcome in our home as long as you treat my only daughter well. Don’t make me regret this, Carter.” “Thank you, sir. I promise that I won’t.” With that, Carter was welcomed into my family and was in my father’s good graces. Carter even accepted his invitation to spend Christmas Eve with us. I felt even more confident about our relationship—it was getting stronger by the day. When we drove back to his house, I decided that tonight, I was going to tell him about the Lombardo film. I just hoped that he would take it lightly and be happy for me. Changed and ready for bed, Carter gathered me in his arms

and started kissing me. “Carter?” I asked, breaking off our kiss. I looked at him while he waited for me to speak. “I have to tell you something important… something that I’m really excited about. I want you to have an open mind and let me finish talking before you say anything, okay?” I waited for him to nod before I continued, “I got chosen to be the lead actress of a movie alongside Bass. It won’t start filming until May, in Greece. I’m not sure if I’ve ever told you, but I used to be in drama in high school and I loved it. I still love it. This unbelievable opportunity could start my career if everything turns out well.” Carter let go of me and stared at the ceiling, his usual demeanor when he was deep in thought. After a few seconds of him not muttering anything, I touched his arm. “Carter, say something?” “I’m happy for you, Em. I really am, but concerning you working with Bass? Not so much. He wants you. I don’t know if he’ll stop the next time. Right now, I’m thinking that he’s probably waiting for the right opportunity to draw you in. I know men like him quite well because I was one.” No, Bass and I were through. I hadn’t even heard from him. From what I could gather from the media, he was busy living his life,

partying and playing hard on a field of vaginas. “That phase with Bass is done, Carter. You have nothing to worry about. I’m with you now and we’re doing so great, you’re being so great and you make me very happy. I can’t help but love you a little more each day.” He turned on his side and cupped my cheek. His eyes spoke volumes and it didn’t take a second for me to succumb to his will. His love rolled over me with his kisses, his touch and his mastery. Carter showed me his universe that night as he slowly made love to me.

“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.”

~Javan

Twenty-Five I got to spend Christmas day with Lindsey and Carter at their aunt and uncle’s house in Montecito. It would be my first time meeting them and I had all these bad scenarios playing in my head. I thought Carter didn’t speak about them much because, you know, they were awful or something. I was wrong. They were a lovely couple and it was obvious how much they loved Lindsey and Carter, so I didn’t get why Carter was being so indifferent about his Aunt Alice and Uncle Gary’s affection. After lunch, Carter immediately excused us when Alice suggested going out to see a movie. I wanted to go, but Carter didn’t even give me the option. So, when Lindsey, Alice and Gary left for the movie theatre, I was determined to get answers. He dragged me up to his bedroom. His home was enormous. Duh, Em? It’s Montecito? He’s probably neighbors with Oprah. “Why did your aunt and uncle buy such a large house when there’s only the four of you?” I wondered out loud.

“They already bought the house before we moved in. They hoped to have their own children, but after a few years of trying, they gave up. They loved this house too much to let it go. They were happy to raise Lindsey and I after our parents died. I guess in the end, they got what they wanted.” That was a little twisted to even consider. Gary seemed like a well-rounded guy and losing his brother in such a tragedy was a lot to take in. “That’s a little weird to say, Carter. You make it sound like they’re happy that your parents are dead—that they got an instant family through their deaths.” “Whatever.” Right whatever, Carter. You spout words that have a lot of hidden meanings and I should just shove them aside and ignore them. “Here’s my bedroom,” Carter murmured as he opened the dark oak door. The ‘bedroom’ was twice the size of our dorm room. It was themed in dark nautical colors against white walls. Carter’s trophies and achievements were lined up on top of a mirrored shelf. I walked towards it and scrutinized each trophy. I knew Carter was great, but I didn’t really know to what extent. His trophies started in little league and I smiled thinking about a little Carter in the field with mud smeared all over him.

“What are you smiling about?” Carter asked against my ear as he pulled me against his chest. “A little league Carter Mason.” Carter sucked on my earlobe and I moaned against him. He hastily lifted my dress up, pulled my stockings down, reached inside my thong and started rubbing my core. “How about you think about the big league Carter Mason, hmm?” he whispered erotically in my ear. With my head on the right side of his chest, I reached around and pulled his lips toward mine. I shivered when he kissed me like it was the very first time while his fingers did their job, killing me softly. Carter started pulling us towards his bed as we fervently kissed, at the same time hastily taking our clothes off. He broke our kiss and pushed me down onto the bed, naked. My hair was all over the place, but I didn’t care because Carter was eyeing me with terrifying hunger. He stood tall and naked before me and I indulged my overeager eyes. “I just want to picture you like this forever in my mind… on my bed… looking more beautiful than the first time I saw you.” Carter moved silently towards me, eyes full of admiration and determination. “Stop,” I commanded and pushed him down on the bed.

“Now, it’s my turn to have a good memory of you on your bed.” I gently stroked his pecs, my hands sliding down south. He gasped when my hand reached the base of his penis. My mouth hovered around the tip of his shaft while I gazed at him through my lashes. “Do you want a hard suctioned vacuum with a side of teabag action? Or, a wet, sloppy, nasty deep throat with a side of tongue action?” I batted my eyelashes, staring at him innocently. Carter gave me a wicked smile, “Thank you, God, for answering my prayers and granting me the perfect woman!” He reached down and stroked his hard cock a few times before speaking, “Give me the nasty works, Emma.” The nasty, you say? “Sure, but with one condition, do not ever, ever touch my head and push it down, comprende?” I raised my brow at the beaming man. “See this?” Carter held out his hands and placed them underneath his head and smiled. “I will never dare touch a strand of your beautiful blonde hair, my Emma.” “Good, then we have a deal.” I wetted my lips before lowering my mouth slowly on the head of his shaft. I stuck my tongue out and licked around it in slow, rhythmic circles to prepare it before I went down any further. “Fuck, baby!” Carter hissed with obvious ecstasy.

If there was one thing Carter loved more than sex, it was getting a blowjob; soccer following as a close third. Once I finally managed to fill my mouth with half his length, I still had more to cover, so I had to concentrate. Closing my eyes, I evened my breathing and relaxed my throat muscles before I pushed down further until the throbbing head of his cock hit the back of my throat. Hollowing my cheeks, I suctioned his hard length until the pressure made him delirious. Carter bucked his hips when I shook my head and stuck my tongue out, swirling it around as I moved upwards until it hit the slit on the head of his drooling shaft. After six more times in quick succession, I grabbed his cock with my right hand to stroke him and lowered my mouth to lick his balls. The soft wrinkles felt smooth against my tongue. Using only my lips, I tugged it before I took his balls inside my wet mouth. Sucking them together, I used my tongue to flip the two, hard, rounded goodies inside, exchanging their positions, then back again while my strokes on his cock got fevered. “Emma!” Carter hissed, his neck veins popping, his body tensed and knotted. I released his well-exercised scrotum with a popping sound. “Not yet, Carter.” Swiftly, Carter had me on my back and jammed his cock inside me without warning. My insides clenched at his sudden

invasion. “Emma, I want to feel your cunt flow like a damn fountain,” Carter demanded as he pressed his heavy hand on my abdomen, grinding his cock down, hitting my upper vaginal wall while his thumb rubbed and teased the essence of my core. I tried to bite back my screams, but it was pointless. His strong, determined thrusts became manically fast, making me tense and clench harder. “Squeeze around my cock tighter, baby. Fuck! You’re incredible!” Carter barked out as our bodies prepared for our release. “Let go, Emma!” I screamed when my orgasm rocked me. Carter muffled my cries, covering my lips with his as he, too, found his release. “Emma!” he shouted as I felt his semen spurt and his cock pulsated fluidly inside me. He pushed his hips against me a few more times, milking out his seed to the very last drop. We passionately kissed and then Carter broke it off, panting. Shifting his face away from me, he spoke. “I love you, Emma, with everything that I am.” Carter moved to my side and gathered me close. Kissing his chest, I murmured, exhausted, “I love you, too, Carter.” We held onto each other until we fell asleep. I remembered thinking how lucky I was to have the man I

loved finally loving me back. ~E~

Three weeks later… “What’s wrong? Why do you look all sad and depressed?” Carter nudged me and pinched my cheeks. Should I or should I not? Oh well! Best get a move on. “I’m a few days late, Carter.” He immediately tensed. His playful manner vanished in an instant. “You’re pregnant?” He said it in such a frightening whispered tone, as if I had planned it or something. Uh, hell to the mother fucking no! I shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I was hoping you could come with me to get a pregnancy kit at CVS or somewhere. Then we can head back here and do the test together.” “I’m not ready to be a father, Em. Hell, I’m not ready for any of that shit. What the fuck! I didn’t ask for this!” His stupid answer made me fume. “You think I want this? I have a future I was looking forward to and now that could be taken away from me.” I never failed to take my birth control. If there was something I was meticulous at, it was taking my pills religiously. I supposed it happened when I got sick and had to take antibiotics for a few

days. When I felt the chills, I immediately bought medicine. I guessed that was the culprit that messed up my cycle. Carter held my face and spoke sincerely, “We could have it aborted. We can get rid of it.” Okay, I wasn’t going to deny that that thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but I didn’t consider ever going through with it. However, now that Carter was all for it, I started to see him in a different light. And boy, it didn’t look good on him. “We’re not even there yet. We have to see if I am before you start plotting the demise of your child.” I got up and strolled towards where my purse was located and grabbed it. “Are you coming with me to go get the test or what?” Carter looked more stressed out than I did. He simply nodded and followed me outside. Twenty minutes later, we were back at the dorms. Carter pulled the kit out of the plastic bag and stared at it. “Do you just pee on it? Just like that?” “Yes, that’s what the instructions say, right?” I asked him, annoyed. He was getting on my nerves. I walked towards him, grabbed the damn kit away from him and went to my bathroom. Next time, Emma, when you get sick, steer away from having sex. PERIOD. Abstinence is the key. After following the instructions, I carefully placed the test on

the sink and stared at it until the three minutes were up. If I was pregnant, did I want Carter to be the father of my child? After three minutes, words surfaced on the tiny oval screen. Not Pregnant. The relief I felt was astounding. Definitely no sexy time for me for a very, very long while! When I pulled the door open, Carter was standing against the wall with his eyes closed. “I’m not pregnant,” I told him. His eyes finally snapped open. “Fuck! Thank you, God!” he thundered, a tiny smile forming on his face. Then he became somber again. “Listen, Em, I have to go. I need to clear my head. I need to just drink a beer or two. I’ll call you.” Before I could even manage to respond, he left my room. I stared at the empty doorway. I was shocked and saddened by his abrupt departure. Okay, I expected him to be freaking out and stuff, but not leaving me here all alone after all that upheaval! Boyfriends were pointless! Since it was around four in the afternoon, Trista and Lindsey were still in school. Bored, I channel surfed. I stopped when I found Bass Cole’s picture on the E! News channel. “Bass Cole getting his dirty business done on a hotel balcony with Lydia Cornwell? Look at the image and see for yourself!” The male host went on while the images flashed on the screen.

The picture showed him sitting on a hotel balcony, his head thrown back while a head bobbed in between his legs. It didn’t take a genius to figure that shit out. Bass was clearly in seventh heaven while the woman was sucking him dry. I pressed pause and stared at it for a long time, ingraining the image of him in my mind. I hadn’t heard from him, but I wasn’t going to lie and say that I hadn’t been tempted a few times to just pick up my phone and call him or send a text saying hello. My eyes glanced back at the photo and I suddenly felt sick. Bass Cole, I miss you. I wish you were here to soothe and calm me like you used to do. It didn’t take him long to find a girl after what happened with us on our last night together. Did he even remember me? I was sure after the endless list of women, things could get muddy. I mean, how many Brookes, Shannons and Emmas in the world had he hooked up with? Could he still remember? I was just one of many. The thought made me even more depressed. Feeling blue, I strode back to my room after I turned the damned television off. The thought of Bass on that hotel balcony made me want to hurl. Curled up and feeling lonelier than ever, I willed myself not to shed a tear. Surely this loneliness was the outcome of the pregnancy scare and Carter’s immediate take off? Would Bass have reacted like Carter did? I told myself that

Bass would, but somewhere, deep down, I knew that Bass would’ve acted differently. Thinking about Bass wouldn’t help anything. It was best that I shove my thoughts of him somewhere in the back of my mind. I closed my eyes and kept them closed until I fell asleep. ~E~

It was his voicemail again. “Stop bugging me. Thanks!” That was my fifteenth call to Carter that went straight to voicemail. I sent a few text messages and, they, too, went unanswered. Where was he? Was he mad at me? More than twenty-four hours had passed since the false alarm and I still hadn’t heard from him. A knock on the door made me look up and I found a smiling Lindsey. “Are you sure you don’t want to go and party with us on Main Street?” Positive. “No, I’m good.” Before she left I asked, “Do you know where your brother is? I can’t reach him.” “I think Brody mentioned that they’d be at Amanda’s house party. See you later, Emma!” “Laters, Linds,” I murmured once she closed the door.

So, Carter was out and about, partying, while I stared at the ceiling. Well, that would have to change. He couldn’t just leave and not speak to me again after the pregnancy fiasco yesterday. In haste, I grabbed the first skinny jeans I saw and fetched my nude leather jacket. I checked Facebook because I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure that her party would be blasted all over our common friends’ pages and I was right; people from our campus were going to her shindig. After tying my lace booties on, I headed out the door. I’d been to Amanda’s house once or twice and I luckily remembered where it was. Amanda’s house was a massive sprawling mansion in Carpinteria. Her parents were apparently well connected to politicians and they held a lot of shares in one of the most popular hotel chains in the country. Once her palace came into view, I had to park a bit further down the road since it was jammed with cars. I got out of the car and walked towards the house. I wondered how she could pull off having a party this loud in this type of neighborhood. I shook my head when I saw a girl puking her guts out on the pavement with her friends trying to soothe her. As expected, the house was a tsunami of madness; people were making out everywhere, topless girls were making out with each other for some guys that were hollering on the sidelines, lit-up joints were being passed around a large group of people, a DJ was

playing hip-hop and, of course, thong-clad women were dancing and singing their hearts out. Now, where the hell was Carter? Once I saw Cooper weeding through the crowd, I tugged at his shirt. His eyes bugged out when he saw me. “Hey, pretty little thing. What can I do for you?” Cooper slurred his words. “Where’s Carter? I can’t find him anywhere.” “Carter… right…” Cooper shook his head. “Oh, he’s around here… somewhere.” My heart started to palpitate. Why was Cooper being so cryptic? “Where is he specifically, Cooper? Don’t lie because I know you know where he is.” Cooper contemplated for a bit and finally shrugged. “Listen, Em, I like you, but don’t tell Carter that it was me who told you. He’ll chop my dick off if he found out. Got it?” WTF? How serious was this? Was Carter cheating on me? “I promise I won’t tell.” And I wouldn’t. This was between Carter and me. “Is Lindsey here?” Cooper hesitantly asked. Was he still hung up on Lindsey after all the Cece craziness? “No, I don’t think so.” Cooper nodded and squeezed my shoulder. Okay, spill already! “Try the boathouse. That’s where I last saw him.”

FUCK! “Thanks, Coop!” I gave him a sad smile and weaved through the throng of people to get outside. The backyard was massive. It had a sprawling lush lawn that spread out until it hit the sandy beach. Palm trees were scattered everywhere with torches surrounding the trunks. There was a DJ playing trance and techno music out here. I looked around for the damn boathouse. It was about a quarter mile from the house to my left. Was Carter really in there? It looked too dark for anyone to be in there. “Come dance with me, hot stuff!” Some sleazebag tried to pull me towards him. Ugh! No thank you. “Not interested, bubba. Maybe you should try a few breath mints before you open that mouth of yours? It reeks of garbage.” “Jeez, I only wanted to dance!” the stinker muttered under his breath and left me to my own devices. With my four-inch heels, I strutted towards the boathouse. I stopped right outside the door to listen for any indication that someone was inside. I could hear giggles and laughter from women, but I didn’t hear Carter. Should I just open it? Was I ready to see what was going on in there? Curious, antsy, angry and confused, I finally decided to open

the damn door. It took a few blinks and I squinted until my eyes adjusted to the candle-laden feast that brightened the entire place. I froze and stared horrified as I took in the entire scene before me. In the middle of some copper silk sheets, overflowing with embroidered pillows that were thrown on the floor, Carter was lying naked with one hand behind his head, looking like a fucking emperor having his usual night-time delights with his concubines. He was watching two nameless women—I recognized as friends of Amanda—make out while Amanda was sucking his cock. His other hand was busy finger fucking Cece while yet another nameless woman was licking his nipples. “MOTHER FUCKER!” I screamed like a banshee, halting their movements. My eyes misted and I saw red. How long had this been going on? I sprinted towards the indulgent sexual six-some and stood before Carter who immediately pushed Amanda off his cheating dick. Bastard! “Emma, baby!” Carter started. Baby, my ass! I thought before I stomped on his crown jewels with good force. “FUCK YOU! Now you won’t be fucking anyone tonight! We are through!” I bellowed at him. “What the fuck, Emma!” Carter yelled before he curled up, cupping his balls. Good, he deserved it!

I spun towards Cece. “Do you need to fuck the entire campus, Cece? Didn’t it matter to you that he was with me? You’re such a low-life skank!” I looked at the rest of the girls who started to scamper. “By the way, I’m Emma Anderson and you just fucked and screwed with my life, but I won’t have the likes of skanks and tramps affect and ruin me. You can go and fuck yourselves now.” With those final words, I left Amanda’s house. I didn’t let my guard down until I got inside my car. Tears were streaming continuously down my cheeks as the scene I just witnessed flashed in my mind. Carter was such a womanizer! He would never change. Well, he did for a month or two, but that didn’t last long. Wiping my tears, I drove off. Not towards Santa Barbara, but towards Los Angeles.

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

~Winston Churchill

Twenty-Six Once I exited the freeway, I had no clue where I wanted to go. After thirty minutes of mindless driving, I found myself parking at the Chateau Marmont. With my purse in hand, I walked to the reception desk. Old Hollywood glamour greeted me. The design was retro chic with a hint of old charm. Most of the people that worked here, it seemed, were all hot. Whatever worked for their image, I guess. There were a lot of celebrities there; this was, after all, a local celebrity stomping ground. I didn’t know why I chose this hotel. Since Lindsey and I were supposed to stay here the last time, it was the only hotel that popped into my brain. There was only one thing I was here for and that was to mend my broken heart and find solace. I finally managed to get a room without shedding a tear. The woman at the registration desk was a fucking chatterbox and she asked way too many questions. I smiled and pretended to listen to her, but in reality, I was holding my temper before I completely lost it and snapped her head off.

“Here you go, Ms. Anderson. Have a pleasant stay.” She finally handed me my keycard. I murmured my thanks before I headed towards the bank of elevators. Once I got to my floor, I inserted the keycard and let myself in the one-bedroom suite. I felt like I just walked in on an old school TV set, circa 1940’s. Mustard colored couch, beige walls, the style of the rug and the lamps were quite fashionably; period-themed? The room was homey and charming and made me feel right at home. Although, I felt like Lucy and Ricky Riccardo would walk through the door at any moment. I walked over to the bar and got myself a chilled bottle of water. I grabbed the wine bottle along with the wine opener and strode towards the bedroom. Sighing, I took my jeans off and jumped into bed. I decided to text Lindsey and Trista. Me: Hey. I just checked in at Chateau M. for the night. Carter and I broke up. Be back on Sunday. FML! What the hell just happened? Carter and I were doing well before the incident happened. Well, I guess that was that. Groaning, I sat up and opened the bottle of wine. Since I would be getting drunk alone there was no need for a wine glass. I grabbed the remote from the side table and turned the TV on. I immediately went to check out the movie section. Maybe I should

watch The Notebook, or something really depressing like A Walk to Remember? Scrolling and browsing, my thumb stilled when I found one of Bass’s films—Knights of Cimmerian. Should I? Since I really hadn’t paid attention to any of his movies before, maybe I should start now? Oh, fuck it. I pressed play. Lucian, the vampire, was definitely something. I got excited when I remembered Bass had a blatantly hot sex scene in this film. I supposed you could say that I was doing some ‘research’ for Blasphemous. I took another gulp of my wine and almost choked on it when I saw that Carter was calling me. WTF! “Leave me the fuck alone, manwhore,” I muttered aloud as my heart pounded at the thought of him. Why was he calling, to apologize and give me some reasonable explanation as to why he cheated on me with not just one woman but with five? I chastised myself for getting back with him. I shouldn’t have, especially when I wasn’t a hundred percent sure about it at the time. You lived and you learned. Well, lesson learned. I was not going to rock that cheating boat again because being betrayed like that is not the greatest feeling in the world. My phone started ringing again and I hit ignore. “Fucker!”

I willed myself to ignore the phone calls and concentrated on watching the movie. I melted when I heard Bass’s voice. How pathetic and idiotic was I, right? I was so engrossed with the movie that I didn’t hear the door open. I jumped out of my skin when I heard someone yelling, “Dooooll!” Within seconds, Lindsey and Trista walked into the bedroom. I stared at them like they had come from outer space. “How did you guys get in here?” Lindsey Mason gave me a grin and waved a keycard in the air. “Well, since our doll face is moping, Trista and I decided to drive up here and chill with you.” I was touched by their sweet gesture. “Thank you, guys, but how did you two manage to get in?” Trista laughed as they both joined me in bed. “Lindsey had to dish out some heavy boob seduction to get the guy at the reception desk to hand us a keycard.” I barked out a laugh. The image Trista painted was just too funny not to. “Hey! I had to. You weren’t picking up your phone and we were thinking crazy things. I was desperate to get to you quickly. Who cares? It was just a nice peek-a-boo to make the poor guy’s shift memorable.”

Oh, I just bet. My easy mood got squashed when Trista spoke, “What happened with Carter, Em?” Where did I even begin? Shit. “I had a pregnancy scare a couple of days ago and I think Carter just lost it after that. I hadn’t spoken to him since then. He wouldn’t pick up my calls or return my messages so I was really frustrated with him, but at the same time, I understood why he freaked out because I did as well. Anyway, I went over to Amanda’s party to look for him and I found him in the boat house with Amanda, Cece and three other girls, having an orgy.” “Fucking Carter! I told you my brother was not good enough for you!” Lindsey was upset. She scooted upwards and sat next to me as did Trista. Both of their heads were on my shoulders. “Men are such horn-dogs! I’m sorry, Emma.” Trista looked at me and rubbed my arm gently. “Thank you, guys, for being here. It means a lot to me.” I held both of my arms out and hugged my friends. “Well, look at the bright side, sunshine; you can finally go for Bass Cole without anything holding you back.” Lindsey pointed at the screen where Bass was kissing a woman. The camera focused and zeroed in on their locked lips. My eyes took in how he kissed her. The sight alone of him kissing made

me nauseous. I shook my head. “Bass and I are dunzo in that department, Linds. He probably doesn’t even remember me.” Lindsey huffed. “Nah, that’s wishful thinking, my friend. That man liked you. I mean really, really liked you and you dropped him like a hot potato. Bass Cole, dumped? That’s unheard of. Trust me, doll, that guy will forever remember you. Guys don’t take rejection kindly. Although, he might just hate your guts a wee bit.” Trista got all hyped up. “I think you should go see him, Em. You know, make a whole grand gesture thing?” Uh, how about not? “That would be terrifying. Let’s just drop the subject about Bass, please? I just got cheated on,” I reminded them, but they seemed to be busy thinking about Bass and me. “Bass wants you, doll. I say, give him a call,” Trista insisted. I bit my bottom lip. “I—he probably doesn’t like me much. It’s fine, really. Bass and I didn’t happen. It’s best to just leave it at that.” “Wait until Greece, you’ll see.” Lindsey was quite persistent. “Greece? Who’s going to Greece?” Trista looked at us both. Crap. I hadn’t mentioned it to Trista and Lindsey had promised not to speak to anyone about it, so she was clueless. “I’m actually going to star in Martin Lombardo’s film as the female lead, with Bass.” Trista stood up and started jumping on the bed. After her small

acrobatic routine, she landed back to earth. After catching her breath, she screamed excitedly, “Oh. My. God. You are so banging Bass there! And fuck, you’re going to be an actress! How cool is that? I can’t wait for Cece to hear this one. She’s going to hate you even more.” I was sure of that. “Well, she already got my boyfriend. That should suffice her, don’t you think?” I hated thinking about what I witnessed in the boathouse. The images kept flashing in my head. I just wanted to throw something or scream my anger out, but that wasn’t going to happen. So, I just opted to simmer. “Ah, forget Carter Mason. You should, like, have a seduction plan ready when you get to Greece.” Trista clapped her hands together. Well, it was great that she was all in high spirits again. “Better yet, I have the grandest idea! We should visit you in Greece and watch you guys film. Is that possible, Em? I would love to see it all happen!” Lindsey and Trista were both looking at me. “I totally agree that you both should come and visit me. We can go island hopping! I have no idea if you’re allowed to watch us film, but I’ll let you know,” I suggested while they got excited. “All those hot Greek men!” Trista shrieked. I thought she might have been a little drunk. Lindsey threw the wine cork at her. “Before you get all excited

and start gushing about Greek men, what are you going to do about Harry, Tris? Trista lowered her head and fidgeted with her big toe. “I don’t know about Harry anymore. My cousin’s two months pregnant.” Fuck. “What do you plan to do? You can’t keep being the other woman. He’s obviously having the time of his life while you’re stuck being miserable!” What was with all these men? Ugh! Tears started falling down Trista’s face. I reached out and gathered her in my arms. Trista sobbed, “I love him. I don’t know how I can move on. I know it’s wrong and I want to just leave him, but I don’t think I have it in me. I don’t know if I can survive without him.” Lindsey stroked her hair. “I know this must be very painful and difficult to do, but you have to let him go. He has a baby on the way, a little boy or girl. You don’t want to be that person that takes him away from the little one, doll. I don’t think your conscience could handle it. You’re strong and your strength is in there somewhere. It’s high time you really let Harry go.” Trista was now crying uncontrollably. “I know, I know. I just need time,” Trista spoke in between sniffs. Taking Trista’s face and wiping her tears away with my thumbs, I gave her a hug. “I think we’ve had enough of sadness

tonight. Do you guys want to go through the room service menu and eat our hearts out while we watch Vampire Bass kick some ass?” “Um, yes, please?” Trista tried to lighten up the mood. Lindsey stood up and pulled Trista out of bed. “You look like you’re in need of some pancakes and bacon. Come on, I’m starving!” Trista just nodded. “Do they even offer breakfast at this hour?” I asked. “If they don’t, I’ll make them. If pancakes will make Tris happy, I’ll make damn sure she gets some.” I loved Ferocious Lindsey. I got up and followed the two who were both hovering over the menu. “Don’t forget to order a shitload of dessert. I think we all need a little sugar lovin’. I want me some chocolate cake!” “You betcha!” Lindsey grinned at me. ~E~

“What the fuck! Who farted?” Lindsey jumped out of the kingsized bed and opened the sliding door that led to the balcony while fanning her button nose. Trista started laughing. “Sorry, I think I ate too much last night. I’m gassy. There seems to be no way of stopping it.” She then resumed her laughing hysterics.

Fuck, that stunk, BAD. I jumped out of the bed and went out on the balcony with Lindsey, laughing. Trista followed us. Lindsey pulled out a chair. “Sit your ass down woman and wait until the gods of shit bestow you the gift of using the toilet. Until then, do not come near me!” Trista was now on the floor, laughing. “Aye, aye, Fart Patrol!” It was already two in the afternoon; we woke up late because we kept rewinding the sex scene with Bass all night. Yeah, we drooled at the sight of his tight ass. Lindsey sat across from Trista. Both of their laughs were dying down. I plopped down on the other chair next to them. “Have you guys heard from Amber? I’ve tried calling and texting her, but she’s not picking up.” Amber had been MIA since Tahoe. Trista looked serious all of a sudden. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with her, too, but she doesn’t answer me either. I guess she’s just not ready to talk to anyone.” Trista had a point. It was obvious that Amber didn’t want to be bothered. I just hoped she was doing okay. We had to go home soon and I wanted to shower, but I hadn’t brought any clothes with me. “Guys, we have to check out in two hours.” “What? Why?” Lindsey asked, confused. “Because we have to go home?” Duh? We didn’t live here,

although, I wished I did. Lindsey pulled down her shades and leaned against the chair, her face basking in the sun. “Forget it. We’re staying another day here. We’ll go shopping for clothes later and have dinner somewhere. How does that sound?” Hmmm, strange, I thought. I folded my arms and stared at her. “What’s your reason, Lindsey? Why don’t you want to go home?” She rolled her eyes at me. “Same shit different day. Brody and I—I told him I didn’t want to do the whole relationship thing. Besides, I think this will be good for us. To stay another day, I mean.” And another one bit the dust. “Yeah, another day sounds good.” Trista stood up. “Sounds good to me. I have to get my phone charger. Be right back.” Lindsey and I were waiting for the coffee and fruit bowl we ordered when Trista came back. “Guys, look what I found!” She was out of breath when she slammed the magazine on the coffee table. Lindsey and I both leaned over to check it out. It was Bass coming out of a club with the gorgeous Winston Twins. The Winston sisters, Kate and Khloe, were models as well as socialites;

they were beautiful and rich. Their father, Grant Winston, owned one of the largest production companies in Hollywood. Guess Lydia Cornwell was history. Lindsey and Trista were looking over the article, but I didn’t join in. I honestly did not want to know about Bass’s sex life. At all. “This picture was taken last night. It seems Bass is here in L.A. for the weekend,” Trista shrieked. Okay, so? I wouldn’t call him. “Well, that’s nice.” Trista looked at me and then back to the trashy magazine. “Well, who needs another playboy anyway? I sure don’t.” Trista took the magazine and dumped it in the trash. That was much better, thank you.

“I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?"

~Author Unknown

Twenty-Seven I heard a loud knock on the door. “Emma, talk to me, please?” Ugh, not again! “Go away, Carter. You’re majestic dick is not needed here. Goodbye!” It had been a month since the boathouse incident and Carter was still trying to talk to me. Every. Single. Day. He hadn’t been successful, though. We dropped by Home Depot to buy new locks before we headed home from L.A. after the weekend at Chateau Marmont. I didn’t want to take a chance on Carter prancing in here, asking for forgiveness, with me caught unaware. He waited for me everywhere, but I’d been able to avoid seeing him so far. At times, I feel bad, like I was Cruella de Vil, but it didn’t last long. All I had to do was remember the boathouse and it set me off in flames. I felt relieved when I heard him kick the door and stomp off. Way to go and fuck up my day, Carter! Today of all days

when I had to leave for L.A. Barbara’s assistant, Mark, booked me a room to stay overnight in once a week. Upon arriving in L.A., I had to see my acting coach, Shiva, for two hours. After that, I had a one hour yoga session with Liston. The next day, I had a two hour grueling work-out session with my personal trainer, Ben. This painful, ass-kicking schedule started last week and today, I have to start it all over again. I didn’t think my body had even recovered from the trauma it went through last week. Yes, Ben was crazy. It was hard to catch my breath with him. He was always breathing down my neck to keep on going and blah, blah, blah. I honestly didn’t think I needed to lose any weight. My stomach was flat and my body was toned from years of Pilates. I didn’t know why Ben made me feel like I was the fattest kid in town. Whatever. I decided that after every session with him, I got to reward myself with something sweet and fattening. I knew it was naughty of me to cheat like that since I only had three months left before I left for Greece, but I really did believe that I seriously deserved it. ~E~

Lindsey and I were busy chatting as we unloaded our groceries from the trunk of her car. Once we got everything out, we walked towards our place. We both stopped chatting when we saw Carter

leaning on the door. “Emma!” Of course, we both pretended that he wasn’t there. When we got to the door, Linds pulled out her key and opened it. “We need to talk, Em. I’m so sorry,” the six-some lover said. Ignore. “Do you hear that weird sound, Em?” Lindsey asked me, amused. I cocked my head a bit and blinked a few times. “Yeah, I think that’s the sound of a dog crying because he got his balls stomped on.” Carter caught my arm and pulled me aside. Lindsey was about to flip a switch when I stopped her. “Go on in; this will only take a minute.” Linds nodded and closed the door behind her. For the first time in a month, I looked at Carter’s face. I gulped, even though he was my least favorite person, it didn’t change the fact that he still somehow affected me. Looking away, I hissed, “I’m only giving you a minute, Carter. I suggest you make the most of it.” Carter took hold of my chin and made me look at him. “Don’t do this, Em. We need to talk… in private. Not out here. Please, I’m begging you.” “Will you leave me alone after you say your piece?” I looked at

him skeptically. With Carter, it was hard to predict if he would keep his promises. His mercurial personality was one of the main things that infuriated me about him. He shook his head. “No, I can’t promise that. What I can guarantee, though, is that I won’t be pestering you on a daily basis.” Good thing he knew he had a problem with sticking to his promises. Resigned, I reluctantly nodded. “Where do you want to talk?” “Can we talk in your room?” Let’s just get this shit out of the way. “Yeah, that’s fine.” Lindsey looked sour when I informed her that Carter and I were going to talk in my bedroom. Once inside, I sat on my bed and waited for him to speak. He was leaning against the wall, pensive. What could he possibly say that would make anything better? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I started picking at the edges of a pillow when I heard Carter speak. “I know there’s nothing that I can say that will make you forgive me. I was so stupid. When you told me that you were late, I started to panic. All of my doubts of becoming like my father surfaced again. It was a big reality check for me. I suddenly felt suffocated. I can’t even describe the kind of relief I felt when you told me you weren’t pregnant. Nothing mattered then because I felt free. Before I even decided to cheat on you, I knew for a fact that it

would hurt you, but it still didn’t stop me. I do love you, Emma, but I don’t know how to accept it and live with it without getting paranoid.” He came over to the bed and sat across from me, the bed dipping under his weight. “I’m really sorry for hurting you this way. There’s no excuse that will make anything better for you. I love you and I will always love you. Maybe someday, when I am ready to fully accept my love for you, maybe we can try again.” Fat chance, bitch. When I looked up and met his eyes, I felt pain. I had really wanted things to work out between Carter and me, and he screwed it up because he couldn’t accept the fact that he loved me? LAME BALLS! “Well, geez, this was a nice chitchat, Carter. What are you going to say next? That Cece and Amanda were your side whores while you were with me?” “No, it was just you then, Em, and no one else.” Yeah, sure, I so believe you. Not. Carter raked a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh. “I fucking miss you, Em. What the hell am I going to do without you? I don’t like that I love you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. You’re all I see.” Good, let the ghost of me make you suffer and hound your thoughts. My breathing hitched when he came closer and touched my

cheek. Fuck! “I’ve missed how your skin feels. You’re beautiful and I just wish things weren’t so fucked up.” Carter moved a little closer. I wetted my suddenly dry lips. I couldn’t do this with him. This was just too much. “Carter, you have to stop.” “I know, but I don’t know how, Em. I don’t know how to stop…” Carter trailed off as his lips captured mine. Maybe it’d been too long or maybe I somewhat missed this stupid toad, but I responded to his fevered, hungered kiss. I moaned when he pushed me down on the bed and positioned himself on top of me. A knock came on the door. “Carter! Your time’s up! You gotta scoot!” Lindsey yelled from behind the closed door. “Fuck!” Carter cussed against my lips. Yeah, fuck. Thank God for Lindsey because I was just about to submit to him again. Getting off the bed, Carter stood up and gave me a quick kiss. I just stared at him, wide-eyed. “I love you, Em.” After telling his sister to back off, he stormed out and left the apartment. Lindsey knocked on my door before she opened it. She strolled in and sat on my bed. “I knew you were in trouble when I didn’t hear voices anymore. I just had to throw in my super lifesaving skills.” This woman was awesome! “Thank you, Lindsey. Yeah, your brother almost had me. Fuck! I’m so stupid.”

Lindsey gave me a quick hug. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Carter is just stupid. He’s hurting because of what he did to you, but there is no one to blame but himself.” She kissed my forehead and left me with my thoughts. And for the next two months, he stayed away; physically, not emotionally. He would send flowers or presents to me on a weekly basis, along with random text messages. Carter: I love you, my Emma. Carter: I miss you, my Emma. Carter: I can’t stop thinking about your lips. I wish you were next to me. Carter: I saw Pirates of the Caribbean today and couldn’t stop thinking about our Halloween together. Carter: I bought your perfume today. I just wanted to smell you again. Carter: I will come back for you when I’m ready and I won’t stop until you’re back with me because it’s not over. It will never be over. Although I tried ignored his messages, they were in my thoughts. I had to give him props because he was really getting through to me. I was being mind-fucked, plain and simple.

~E~

A month before I left for Greece… “Emma?” I was surprised that Carter was waiting for me outside of my class. I had seen him around school from afar, but never up close. From time to time, I could feel his hot gaze follow me around, but he never approached me, until today. “Yes, Carter? What can I do for you?” I wanted to roll my eyes, but refrained from doing so. He was exasperating. “I got an invitation to play for the L.A. Galaxy for two seasons a few months back and I accepted. My first game is next week and I was wondering if you could be there as my good luck charm and wear my jersey.” He got invited to play for the L.A. Galaxy? I was wowed, but I knew this day would come. He was going to be a senior this year and he was on his way to getting into MLS—Major League Soccer. His dream was to play for FIFA—Fédération Internationale de Football Association—and win a World Cup. I had no doubt in my mind that he would get there, for he was one determined mother fucker. Carter was fascinating to watch when he played. He dominated the field and I used to love watching him own it. In his jersey he was extra yummy. I loved his powerful, strong, thighs; they were thick,

hard and all manly. I once loved this man, but that was before he screwed it up. “I’ll think about it, but I’m not sure about the jersey thing.” I wasn’t his girl anymore. He had made that decision all on his own by choosing the kinky boathouse incident over us—me. He handed me his jersey. It was in a white gift bag. I knew without even looking that it would have the number seven stitched on the back, his lucky number. I hesitantly grabbed the bag from him. My hand tingled when our hands brushed. “Thanks.” Carter shoved his hands back inside his pockets, he looked unsure. “I guess, I will see you next week then?” “Yeah, I’ll see you then.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. With a sad smile, he departed. ~E~

“You sure you want to go with me? I mean he’s my brother and all so I have to give some familial support, but you, you don’t have to do this and torture yourself. You don’t owe him anything.” I was already dressed and set to go, wearing Carter’s jersey. FUCK! “Lindsey’s got a point, doll. I don’t know about you going.” Trista gave me a sad smile.

“It’ll be fine, you guys. I have you two for a buffer. Now, let’s get moving, shall we?” We drove to The Home Depot Center—the home field of the L.A. Galaxy. Truth be told, I really wanted to see Carter play. When he got on the field, he immediately looked to where we were seated—in the reserved seats section—and his face broke out in a massive smile when he found me. I almost smiled back. When the game started, all three of us were cheering him on. Lindsey glanced over to the general admission seating and stiffened. I looked to see what she was staring at and I saw Cooper, Brody, Amanda, Cece and the three nameless bitches from the boat house sitting right beside our seats. I wanted to rip Cece and Amanda’s heads off when they stood up and started hollering, their large boobs jumping along with them. “Stupid, skank-a-bitch,” Lindsey muttered under her breath. My sentiments exactly! They definitely popped our damn bubble. I was relieved when the game was almost over, but I was on the edge of my seat since the score was tied. All three of us stood up when Carter had the ball and started The Roulette to move towards the opposite side of the field. I knew then that he was going to do the Overhead Bicycle Kick and I hoped to God that he would fucking get it in past the goalie. My breathing stopped when I saw him go for the shot. Everything went in slow motion for me until

the black and white ball went inside the goal, scoring the winning point. The stadium went ballistic and Carter took his shirt off and waved it in the air. He bared his hot, banging six-pack for everyone to see. He laughed when people started to chant his name. When he stopped and looked at me, he bunched up his hand, tapped over his heart twice and pointed at me. I thought I was going to melt in to a puddle. Oh, fuck. “Shit,” both Lindsey and Trista muttered. He gave me a beautiful smile before he threw his shirt in the air and aimed it towards the screaming fans. The crowd went wild. After the game, Trista, Lindsey and I checked in at The Chateau Marmont, again. I supposed this hotel was now our place to stay when we were in L.A. We simply loved it here. Carter and the boys rented out a house in Malibu for an after-party. Of course, both Tris and Linds didn’t think that I should go, but I wanted to. “I don’t know, Em. Carter still wants you after what he did. What if he tries something with you tonight? Will you be able to resist him?” Trista asked. It was a question that I couldn’t answer. Since we would be partying with Cece and Amanda, I had carefully chosen my outfit. This was going to be the first time I had been to a party since the boathouse ‘incident’ and I wanted to make myself as hot as possible tonight. I was going to flaunt my super sexy assets—thanks to Ben and Liston’s dedication.

I chose a tight-fitted dress that matched my eyes along with some spanking hot designer nude rivet pumps. My blonde hair hung loose and I teased it to look like tousled beach hair. The tight dress made my C-cups pronounced with ample cleavage and the back of the dress had a big U-shape that stopped right above my butt. Yes, tonight I planned to rock it with a lot of pizzazz.

“The best kind of revenge is to let him see how strong and beautiful you are, with or without him.”

~Emma Anderson

Twenty-Eight When the girls finally saw me, Lindsey and Trista whistled. “You know, if I were a lesbian, I’d be humping you right now,” Trista declared. Linds and I both laughed. “Come on, ladies. Let’s go find Trista a super sexy man to get over Harry the asshat,” Lindsey said as she opened the door to let us out. Once we got to the party, Carter immediately sought me out like a horny teenager. “Em, you’re doing a good job torturing me. I want to hide you from the gawking eyes of all the guys here. Fuck, you look hot as hell.” Yeah, you can gawk some more if you want. Just gawk, but nothing more. “You played well tonight. Congratulations.” I avoided his eyes while I took a sip of my mai tai and looked around the throng of people. Lindsey was in one corner having an argument with Cooper while Brody watched from afar. What was going on with those

three? Didn’t she say that she didn’t want to date Brody and she wouldn’t date Cooper because of his fuck up in Tahoe with Cece? My eyes darted to Trista who was busy dancing with a guy on the dance floor. Seeing her that way made me happy. She definitely deserved more than that douchebag Harry. However, the burst of happiness suddenly left me when I turned to see Carter still standing next to me. My eyes connected to his; they were devouring me, but he refrained from touching me. After two hours and a half a dozen mixed drinks, Carter was still stuck to me, tagging along like my bodyguard. When guys wanted to talk or ask me to dance, Carter stepped in like a rabid dog. “Why don’t you go and celebrate? Why are you stuck to me?” I asked with annoyance. “I am celebrating, with you.” I rolled my eyes at that. Could he be any cheesier? I downed the rest of my mojito and spoke, “Well, I’m going to go find a guy to dance with. Laters!” When I saw a hot blond guy at the bar, I darted towards him. This would be the first time I’ve ever asked a guy to dance, but after all the alcohol I consumed, all of my inhibitions were thrown out the window. I tapped his shoulder and the hot blond spun around. He smiled when he saw me.

“Will you be a dear and be my knight and shining armor tonight? Dance with me?” I asked and playfully bit my lip. His hazel eyes lit up. “A hot, blonde bombshell asking me to dance? I’m honored.” I pulled him towards the dance floor and started to dance. The sexy man leaned into my ear and whispered, “I think I’ve seen you before, but I can’t remember where.” Not that stupid magazine again. I opened my mouth to say no, but he kept on going, “Did you happen to be at a club with Bass Cole and a group of his friends recently? I’m Taylor, one of his best friends. I’m almost a hundred percent sure that it was you. You’ve got one of those faces that are hard to forget.” FUCKING SHIT. “Oh, right, Taylor.” What the hell? I knew I was drunk with Bass that night, but still… I vaguely remembered meeting him and I did remember Bass telling me they were like brothers and always looked out for each other. “Emma Anderson, right?” He even knew my last name? Shit. “Yes, that’s right. How are you?” Taylor then pulled me off the dance floor and found a spot where we could talk. “Aren’t you going to film with Bass next month? He’s actually here tonight in L.A., but he heads out to London tomorrow.” Why was he telling me this?

Bass Cole, will I ever fucking forget you? “Yeah, I’ll be seeing him in Greece.” Before Taylor had a chance to respond, Carter stepped in. “Try another chick, bud. She’s taken.” Carter looked serious as hell. I certainly was not taken. Carter could just shove his blasted jealousy somewhere else. Taylor just gave him a jovial smile, but stuck his knife quite nicely at Carter. “It’s not like that at all. Emma and I were just catching up since the last time I saw her a few months ago with Bass. I’m heading out to Bass’s house right now. By the way, Emma, I’ll be visiting the set in Greece. I’ll see you then. Take care.” Taylor walked off, leaving me with Carter. Bass’s house… I loved that house. I missed that stupid house. “Can we talk in private?” Carter looked at me while I contemplated his question. I looked at Carter for a minute, deciding if I should go with him or not. Seeing how his mood deflated after I danced with Taylor, I obliged. “Lead the way.” Safe in the confines of his bedroom, I sat on a chaise lounge that overlooked the ocean. “Thank you for coming to my game. It meant a lot to me that you showed up.” Carter stood across from me. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t a big deal.” It was and it

wasn’t. “So, you’re leaving in a month?” he asked. I nodded. “Why?” What he asked next surprised me. “Are you planning on being with Bass?” Well… Bass… who knows? Bass touched something inside me and that alone made me hesitant. If I hooked up with Bass, would I come out of it sane? I doubted it. He would consume me. “Right now? No, but will it change once we start spending more time together? I don’t have the answer to that, Carter.” He sat across from me, too close for my liking, but I didn’t move either. “Emma, thoughts of another guy touching you intimately drives me mental.” Well, geez. Insert eye roll. “Good, at least you have the luxury of just using your imagination. I, on the other hand, got to watch it in HD, including groaning and moaning in surround sound, with not one, but fucking five women. So, no, you don’t get to complain to me about your tormented thoughts of me fucking Bass.” “Dammit, Em!” What I spouted off made him mad, but it was the truth. I should have pushed him away when his lips pressed on mine, but I didn’t. There was only one word to describe Carter’s kiss—desperate. It was like he wanted to erase all the bad things

he’d ever done to me. No matter how much he wished it though, it was not going to happen. “I want you… I want to be inside you. Let me in, Emma.” Was it wrong that I was a wee bit tempted to say yes? Was it wrong that I got wet kissing him? “No, Carter. You’re not just going to say sorry and slide back home like nothing happened.” Carter’s forehead touched mine, breathing in agony. “Will you give me another shot when you get back from filming? I will change and wait for you, Em.” “I don’t think you and I will ever happen again. I honestly don’t think I could handle it.” “When you get back, I’ll be waiting for you. I don’t care if you’re with Bass by then. I will fight for you, Em, and I won’t stop until you’re mine again. You may believe that we’re over, but you and I will never be over, even if you want us to be.” His words hung in the air. I looked back at the man who I’d loved, the man that broke my heart. When my eyes met his, his sincerity and tenacity showed through the darken depths… and in that moment, I had an inkling that what he said might be true.

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

~Tony Tobbins

Twenty-Nine “Are you ready?” Barbara asked me, eyeing me like I was a little girl. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” There was nothing that could soothe my nerves. Barbara checked me in at the W Hotel to stay for the night before I left for Greece the next day. We were in the living room in my suite, enjoying refreshments as we went over essential lastminute details. “You have a spa appointment in a few hours. Bass is in Europe doing his rounds of interviews for a movie he filmed before KOC. He should be joining the rest of the cast in a few days. That kid is always jumping from one city to another. I don’t know how he does it.” Barbara Schwartz leaned back and looked at me. “How is Bass? I haven’t spoken to him in a while.” Okay, it was more like five months, but who cares?

“Not on speaking terms, are we? I knew something was up, but I didn’t want to press you about it. Moving on, I have the ‘scene list’ and your sleeping arrangement.” Barbara cleared her throat as she pulled a sheet of cream paper from a folder and handed it to me. The ‘scene list’ was actually a list of what type of material I would prefer during the nude scenes with Spiros and Logan. Ha! “Do you know who will be playing Spiros? You haven’t mentioned him yet.” “Of course, his name is Dimitris Kosta. He’s Greece’s equivalent to our Bass Cole.” “Oh.” “Precisely—the man is a total charmer. Be wise, will you, Emma?” Barbara sounded worried. “About me and Dimitris?” Christ. I didn’t know if I should be insulted. I was certainly not a loose cannon. “Oh, don’t look offended. That wasn’t my intention. All I’m saying is that you will be stuck in this place for months! You will be spending a crazy amount of time filming, not to mention the sex scenes that will happen—hormones will be jumping around. The men… they will need to release… and hunt for their chosen meal. We’re only human and there will be times—how do you put it? Hmm… like you will be tempted to just let go and be reckless. All

I’m saying is BE safe. And if it does happen… don’t forget to take those birth control pills on a daily basis. I mean it, Emma. No unwanted pregnancies when you’re barely making a dent in your career. I can have my assistant call you on a daily basis to remind you.” Geez, seriously? “Barbara, both of my parents are doctors. My mom’s a gynecologist and she never failed to drill the safe sex speech into my head. I do love babies, but I’m not ready for that. You have nothing to worry about. I guarantee it, okay?” “Good. Moving on… read through the scene list and circle what you prefer. Of course, it would be best to discuss that with Bass and Dimitris beforehand. Do you need Shiva to come here and practice running your lines together?” Gosh, I knew I was new, but my memory wasn’t lagging. I think the past months with Shiva would suffice. I needed a break from him—even if it was for only a day or two. “I’m fine. I want to go shopping before my spa appointment. I need to grab a few things before tomorrow.” I huffed out a sigh and took a sip of my iced water. “I informed Martin’s assistant, Jack, about your sleeping arrangement. You did say you wanted to stay in a cottage?” I had the option of staying in one of the twenty cottages around the area or have a room in the villa. The thirty room villa would be

too crowded for me and I wanted to be alone. I couldn’t wait to wake up greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the Aegean Sea. “Yes, I’d much rather stay in a cottage.” Barbara ate a bite-sized cannoli then dabbed a napkin on her pristine red-painted lips. “I did tell Jack that. He said that a lot of the crew chose to stay in the cottages, too. Jack said he would try to secure you your own cottage, but since we submitted the request late he can’t guarantee it.” “I understand. I apologize it took me a while to get back to you about that. It’s been hectic with finals and all.” Excuses, excuses. Barbara gave me a curt nod. “Just make sure that doesn’t happen again because in this business, everything changes and shifts in the blink of an eye. Your phone is your salvation. Keep it close to you at all times. Little things like this are essential, Emma. You must understand that.” I was trying to, but I would try harder. “I will, Barbara. Trust me, I will. I take everything that is related to work very seriously.” That promise earned me a pretty smile. “That’s more like it. I don’t want to work with a harebrained actress. As long as you stick with that work ethic, you and I will get on just fine, Emma. Bass and I have a brilliant working relationship and I want that with you as well. I see the fire in your eyes—keep that and you will become successful. This movie will make or break you, dear. I don’t

underestimate Lombardo’s choice, so I am really aiming for you to become the next ‘it’ in Hollywood. Just as long as you don’t get too caught up with all the trappings of drugs and sex scandals, you’re going to do fine.” “Huh? Well, I don’t plan to scandalize all of America with my crotch, thank you.” I only want to be recognized as a good actress… not a porn star. “Splendid, then I suppose I will run along. I will check on you in a week or so. Have a safe trip.” Barbara got up and gave me a quick hug. Chanel No.5 hit me full blast. Goodness, did the woman bathe herself in it? A spritz or two should suffice, not the entire damn bottle! “Thank you. I’ll speak to you soon!” I gave her a tight smile and watched her saunter towards the door. I groaned when the door shut behind her. I went inside my room and hunted down my purse. If there was one thing that would help ease my nerves it was shopping. I guessed I could splurge a little bit. I had been partially paid and that amount was sitting in my bank account. I supposed a dent on the amount wouldn’t destroy me, so why not be fanciful? Rodeo Drive and Robertson Boulevard here I come!

~E~

After a long eleven hour plane ride from Los Angeles to London, I was beyond ready to fall in my bed and snore the night away once we checked in at The Dorchester Hotel for the night. I was dreading the flight to Greece tomorrow–I was sick of airplanes! Once inside my room, I pulled out my phone and sent a mass text message to my family and friends. Me: Just checked in @ the Dorchester H and I’m pooped! I will get in touch once I land in Greece. Love all you peeps! During the plane ride, I had a lovely chat with Ross Maitland. She had that whole warm, motherly feel to her that reminded me of my own mother. It didn’t take much time for us to start chatting about her kids and what I should expect for my first time being in a movie. She was very reassuring and I was glad when she didn’t question me about Bass. For the past few months, I’d been keeping track of Bass through gossip magazines and websites. Pathetic, I knew. I didn’t want to, but at the same time, my curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know what he had been up to since I couldn’t bring myself to call or even text him. After all, I didn’t hear from him either, so why make the big gesture? Because… because you’ve been dying to hear from him?

~E~

Once we deplaned and I saw the island of Aspasia, I was in love. My God, this little island was a beautiful piece of heaven with miles and miles of beautiful white sand and the clearest, bluest water I’d ever seen. This island was going to be my home for the next few months…hell yes! “Welcome to Aspasia,” a young tanned girl, somewhere in her late teens, greeted us. She stood next to a small circular table with iced lemonade. There were fifteen six-seater, pimped-out golf carts and three Jeeps with matching uniformed drivers in each. I assumed the Jeeps were for the equipment and luggage. “Will you be staying at the villa?” David Shilling asked me. Some of the people took their drinks and left with their assigned ride. I shook my head. “Nah, I’m staying in one of the cottages. I want to be close to the beach.” Ross Maitland laughed. “You young kids! See you during dinnertime then.” We grabbed our iced beverages and said our thanks to the smiling girl. “See you guys then!” With a quick wave, I walked towards the cart that said ‘Ms.

Emma Anderson.’ Wow, how cool was that? “Herete, I’m Anaxos and I will be driving you to your cottage,” a man in his fifties greeted me with superb hospitality. “Hello. That would be lovely, thank you.” I gave him a bright smile before I slid into the second row of seats. I took in the breathtaking scenery on the ride to the cottage. They were right on the shore and the wide pathways were lined with beautiful, colorful flowers and boulders. I could see the expanse of the villa, which sat atop a hill from afar. We passed a few of them on the way to mine and it seemed that they were half a mile apart. I had no idea why they called them cottages when they looked like freaking dream houses. They were all white with hot pink bougainvilleas crowding them. They were perfect! About ten minutes later, Anaxos finally stopped at the end of the pathway in front of a cottage that looked a little bigger than the other ones we passed by. While the smaller ones looked like they had two bedrooms, this one looked like it had four. Excited, I hopped out of the cart. “Thank you, Anaxos.” He gave me a toothy smile. “No problem, despoinida. Here is your key and your luggage will be delivered to you very soon. Enjoy the beautiful islands of Greece. Have a good day.” I gave him a quick wave before he jumped back in the cart and drove off. Bubbles of excitement rushed through me as I used my key to

open the cottage. The moment I walked in, a stunning view of the Aegean Sea greeted me from behind floor to ceiling windows. There was a glass door across the room that led to a large, shaded patio with an all-white pergola adorned with the twining hot pink bougainvilleas. I strolled towards it and opened the door to check it out. There was an outdoor rattan canopy bed, a table for six and lounge chairs were scattered around. There was even a pathway to the beach. I moved over to the white cement railing and took a long whiff of the sea air. “Ah, this is the life!” I closed my eyes and basked in the sun’s warmth. I jumped when I heard a loud banging noise. I tensed and listened to see if I would hear it again. After a moment of silence, the banging sound started up again and gradually got louder and louder. Was someone at the door? I moved back inside and walked towards the front door. I peeked out the peephole, but there was no one there. Okay… The banging got frenzied. I tensed when I realized someone was having sex in one of the rooms. I have a house mate? Ah, fuck. “Yes! Give me that meat, you dirty fucker!” a woman’s voice screamed. The banging got out of hand then. It sounded like

hundreds of horses were galloping at the same time. The woman was screaming and it echoed all through the house. Holy crap, she sounded like she’s getting some hard, heavy pounding. I stood in the middle of the living room as I listened… hell yeah, I listened! It was like listening to porn in surround sound. “Yes! I’m coming!” the woman screamed like she was being murdered. Oh, dear. If this woman was going to be my housemate, she and I would have to set some ground rules. It would be a living nightmare if I had to hear those loud screaming voices all night. After what seemed like a marathon of wall banging, it finally ended. How long have I been listening? I was about to move when I heard a door open. A beautiful exotic woman—who looked like Sophia Vergara’s doppelganger, but with green eyes—came out of the room, wearing only a skimpy shirt. From the looks of it, it wasn’t hers. Her hair was wacky… banged up hair. Ha! She was smiling, but halted when she finally saw me. “Oh, hello, I’m Alexia.” Without waiting for a response from me, she went over to the other side of the room towards the kitchen. Okay… that was odd. “Lex, can you grab me some water, too?” a male voice yelled.

I watched the door open and saw a black, tight-boxer brief clad Bass come out. HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL! You have got to be joking! “Emma?” I squeaked. FUCK!!!!! Floor, please swallow me whole. “What are you doing here?” Bass asked as he came closer, wearing a weird expression on his face. I think he was trying to make sure it was really me. The closer he got I noticed his body had a nice glossy sheen of sweat that made his abs and shoulders much more pronounced. Gah! Stop gawking, Emma. Did he just ask me a question? Where the hell did my voice go? One. Two. Three. I cleared my throat and spoke, not meeting his eye, “I was told this was my cottage.” “Here you go, stallion.” Alexia kissed Bass on the lips and handed him his water. “I thought this was mine. Jack himself arranged it for me,” Bass spoke in a tone I wasn’t familiar with.

“Barbara arranged mine.” Bass cussed and left the room, mumbling about fixing the problem. I supposed the ‘problem’ was me? Well, too bad. If he didn’t want to share this cottage with me, he could move out for all I cared. I was staying put, with or without the angry Bass Cole.

“The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain.”

~Aristotle

Thirty Bass finally emerged from his bedroom after a few minutes, looking as pissed off as ever. “I’m going back to our room. Don’t make me wait too long, I don’t want to have to come and get you. You still have promises to deliver, stallion,” Alexia teased then sauntered past us towards the bedroom. Stallion? Blah. “Jack said the extra cottage was given to the costume designer people. Fuck!” Well, his obvious disdain towards me couldn’t be any clearer. Did I expect him to greet me like this after months of not seeing each other? Hell no. Was I hurt? A thousand times yes. As much as I wanted to retaliate and stomp about, I didn’t want to argue with him. I just had to ignore it. Time to suck it up, Emma! “Whatever.” I shrugged and moved past him. I chose the opposite side of the house, the room farthest from his, which was only two doors down. It wasn’t far enough, but what choice did I

have? I certainly was not going to be sleeping in the villa with the rest of the crowd. I checked my room out. I had a huge bathroom and a massive bedroom with a very stunning view of the sea. It was enough to make me able to tolerate Bass and Alexia as long as they didn’t fuck like rabbits all night or get in my business. I was still appalled and disconcerted about my encounter with Bass, but if he wanted to act like a total asshat, so be it. I would not let it get to me because the more I thought about it, the more I would be distracted and I needed all my concentration focused solely on my job. I’d just have to suck it up. There was a soft knock on my door and I spun around when it opened. A young girl gave me a nice smile. “Ms. Anderson, my name is Maria. Your luggage is here. Takis will be bringing it in very soon. I’m here to inform you that there will be afternoon tea and snacks at the main villa in an hour. There is a directory next to the telephone in the living room. You can call for someone to come get you when you’re ready, if you like. Have a good afternoon.” I gave her an easy smile, thanked her and Maria smiled brightly and nodded her head before she opened the door a little wider to let the guy, who I assumed was Takis, bring my things in. I gave him a tip and said a quick thank you. Once they left my bedroom, I dragged myself out of my jet-lag

funk and headed to the bathroom. After a quick shower, I wore a long, pale, lemon-colored halter-top dress and finished it off with studded gladiator-style slippers. With a quick application of peach lip gloss and a hasty fluff of my long blonde hair, I was set to go. Since the studio asked me to grow my hair longer, I had been scared to go to a salon and get it trimmed. It was odd, yes, that I hadn’t had a haircut in a long time, but I was hesitant. You see, from experience, stylists always nodded and pretended that they understood when you tell them that you only want half an inch off, but once you were in that leather chair, bounded with clips and the shampoo cape, you were at their mercy. More times than I could count, these people did not follow through with instructions. I hadn’t minded it before, but with this movie, it was critical for me to follow through. I certainly didn’t want to bother with extensions, so I ended up taking care of my own problem. After endless research on the internet, I had found my salvation. Coconut oil, hot or cold. I had been applying it twice a week on my hair and it looked healthy and lustrous and most importantly, longer. When I surfaced from the room and strode past Bass’s door, I could hear laughter and something twisted inside me. I pushed forward and skittered out of the cottage. I needed a good walk to clear my troubled head and the ten minutes to get to the villa, did

the trick, mostly. The villa was humungous. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I walked into an acropolis. I was ushered inside a large banquet room. It was vast and airy and had all glass walls that overlooked the Aegean Sea. It looked like a shimmering blue jewel and reminded me of Bass’s beautiful eyes… the eyes that were gazing in Alexia’s this very moment, I thought painfully. There were a lot of people already here and when Ross Maitland saw me, she got up and introduced me to some of the other actors that I hadn’t met. There were possibly five people my age; three guys and two girls. I thought they may have been cast as Logan’s friends. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man stand up. I spun around and found a set of light blue eyes, fringed with sooty dark lashes. I was taken aback by his ravenous gaze–he was looking at me like I was his dinner. Barbara was right; I was going to be tested like mad. I was surrounded by hot men. God, help me. The man before me was the real deal. A real Greek Adonis. Ross suddenly gushed. Yeah, I know the feeling. “Emma, meet Dimitris Kosta, your soon to be fake husband in a couple of days.” Why was I frozen again? How many times did this have to happen to me? Fuck! He held out a large, tanned, beautiful hand to shake mine.

“Kalispera, Emma. I am Dimitris.” He said, telling me ‘Good evening’. Damn, deep dark voice, too. Why couldn’t he just have a squeaky, high-pitched, annoying voice? Why did he have to be armed with the whole hot package? I eyed his over six-foot frame; he wore skinny chinos that showed off his powerful thighs and a powder blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his thick, wavy dark hair was trimmed neatly. My intrigued eyes roved about and took in his chiseled sculpted cheeks, strong jaw, straight nose and tantalizing smile. If he tells me he plays soccer… I. Am. Fucked. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dimitris,” I murmured, not meeting his eyes because I was so intimidated by him. Who wouldn’t be? I had just barely recovered from my shocking encounter with Bass and now this! “I will leave you two young people to talk. I’m sure you both have a lot to discuss,” Ross excused herself and joined some others across the room. I had to leave and sit somewhere. Maybe I should have just blurted out, “later dude.” Instead, I tried to compose myself. “I’m going to go to the buffet and get something to eat. I’ll see you around, Dimitris.” He moved next to me and placed his hand on the small of my

back. “Let’s go get you some food. Greek food is the best. You’ll love it.” I’m sure I will. Once we got to the buffet, Dimitris pointed and explained the dishes. I noted that he was quite passionate about Greek food and his heritage. He was amiable and easy to converse with. He took charge, loading our plates with spanakopita, kalamarakia— which was calamari, but a bit harder to roll with the tongue—salad and some other stuff I didn’t catch. He then loaded desserts on two plates; baklava, loukoumades, halva, finikia and amygdalota. My stomach growled when I got a whiff of the sweet smelling dessert pile. Both of our hands were full with two plates each. Much to my surprise, Dimitris didn’t head towards the tables where everyone was chatting. Instead, he walked out the main entrance towards a grassy hill-top that overlooked the sea and found us a spot where we could sit and eat. “How do you like Greece so far?” the Greek man who sat before me asked with a winning smile. “It’s great so far. I’ll let you know once I have explored more of it.” I took one flaky spanakopita and savored every bite. Delicious, I thought with satisfaction. “I’ll show you my country. You’ll love it.” A soft breeze passed through us and I noticed how the ends of his hair curled

around his eyes. When he looked at me, I noticed how clear they were. “Your eyes, they’re very unusual, like crystals. I’ve never seen blue eyes like that. It’s very distracting,” I remarked out loud. “I could say the same about your eyes, Emma, but I would be lying because I find the whole package distracting.” Dimitris’s eyes studied me and lingered on my cleavage. Huh. How long did that playboy side of his take to come out? Fifteen minutes, tops? “Well, I suggest you become accustomed to it. You and I will be spending a lot of time together.” Dimitris brushed the crumbs off his fingers and laughed. “Yes, you and I have two good naked scenes, no? How long have you been an actress?” I was entirely new to this. Would he still take me seriously if I told him I was an amateur? I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “Actually, this is my first role in a movie. I’m overwhelmed to be honest.” That definitely intrigued him. “A virgin actress! How exciting. We’re going to have fun.” Hmm, right. Don’t think so. We had just finished eating and I was about to burst out of my dress. The food was totally delicious. I was already looking forward to our dinner tonight. Dimitris looked at the scenery as did I. It was really beautiful here. “I have a party tonight in Athens. Will you come?”

I wiped my mouth with a napkin before responding, “Sure. What time?” Dimitris gave me a dazzling smile. “I plan to leave after dinner. I will meet you back here at the villa, say at ten tonight? I have to speak to Martin about something important.” Partying in Athens? How far was that from here? “Okay, I’ll see you then.” We both got up and he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before strolling back inside. I walked back to the cottage and was surprised to find Bass. He was alone, out on the patio, enjoying a beer and lounging in only a pair of surfer shorts. Where was Alexia? He strode back inside when he heard me. “Where did you go?” I looked at him strangely. Why was he talking to me? Especially after the shitty welcome I got from him. “Why?” Bass frowned at my question. “I was worried.” I snapped. “Well, don’t. You can go ahead and keep screwing Alexia. I’m going to take a nap. Oh, and please stop making her scream like she’s getting murdered because I might just murder you both if you interrupt my sleep.” “I sent her home.” What? “Why would you do that?”

“You’re here. We’re sharing a house together. I don’t want to offend you. I apologize for my attitude earlier. You just caught me by surprise. I didn’t expect you to be just standing there, listening while I had sex with another woman.” I folded my arms and glared at him. “I wasn’t listening on purpose, Bass. Hell, I bet the entire island heard her scream. I honestly don’t care about your sex life.” I harrumphed and turned around to leave, but he caught my arm. “Let me make it up to you then. I’ll make dinner tonight and we can dine outside on the patio.” Bass’s lazy, dimpled smile surfaced. That caught me off guard. I used to drool over his stupid smile and now… I still did… but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing. “I’m going out tonight. I got invited to a party.” His hold tightened on me. “Party? Where?” I gave him a bright smile. “With Dimitris Kosta… in Athens.” Bass let go of my arm and cussed. “You barely just got here and you’re already going on a date? Are you fucking kidding me?” Nope. “See you later, Bass.” With a quick wave, I left him there. I walked to my bedroom and took a nap. Forget Bass and his stupid beautiful eyes… and his stupid smile, too.

~E~

“I do not believe this! Go change, Emma!” That’s not going to happen, buddy. “You wish.” When I had come out of the bedroom to call for a ride to pick me up, Bass was waiting for me in the living room. Bass’s eyes raked all over my body and I flushed from his scrutiny. “Your skirt is indecent, your top is too revealing and those fuck-me heels need to go.” My fingertips touched the end of my short skirt. “It’s not that revealing. I’ll be okay as long as I don’t bend over.” I was having such a ball at making his blood boil. Before he could muster a response, a knock came at the door. “That must me my ride. Have a good night, Bass.” I sauntered past him and went out. Before I managed to close the door I heard him yell, “Fuck!” I smiled at his frustration. Jealousy was a bitch. When I got to the villa, Dimitris was waiting on me, looking hotter than ever. “You look perfect, Emma.” His light eyes were shining in the dark as he admired me. I murmured my thanks, feeling shy all of a sudden. “There’s been a change of plans. I hope you don’t mind, but I want to take you to dinner then we’ll head out to the party

afterwards.” “Sure, I would love to see more of Athens. I can’t wait.” I gave him a great big smile before he ushered us to the waiting car. “Sas efharisto, Emma.” Thank you. Since he never mentioned how we would manage to get off this island, I was a little apprehensive when we got to a small air strip where a black helicopter was parked. I was maybe thinking along the lines of a speed boat... Once he thanked the driver, the golf cart drove off. I stood there, eyeing the daunting black thing. “Um, where’s the pilot?” I didn’t see anyone out here other than us. Dimitris just gave me an amused smile. “I am the pilot. Come on, beautiful Aphrodite, your chariot awaits.” Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty and pleasure. I swallowed. No way. “I don’t know. I, uh, I’ve never been in a helicopter before.” I didn’t plan on dying tonight either. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. Let’s go.” Oh, fuck it. Once we were seated inside the cockpit, he turned and flicked a lot of switches on. I had a hard time keeping up. As he handed me a headset, I looked at him, deadpanned. “How long have you been doing this?” His light blue eyes glowed. “Ever since I was twenty, five years ago.” He touched my jaw and our eyes locked together. “Just trust

me; I will not disappoint you, Aphrodite.” I smiled a tad hesitantly. “Just try not to get us killed. I would very much appreciate it.” With a throaty laugh, he turned on the rotors and swiftly lifted us up in the air. Scaredy cat that I was, I sat still and prayed for a safe landing with my eyes closed. About twenty minutes into the ride, Dimitris spoke. “Emma, watch as we fly over Athens, it’s a magnificent sight to see from up here,” Dimitris’s sexy accented drawl came through the headset. Men and their sexy accents. It was hard to resist ignoring them when they started talking, especially when they were as good looking as Dimitris. Sure enough, when I opened my eyes, the glittering lights of Athens below us sparkled in the black of the night. They were beautiful. It sort of reminded me of the view at Bass’s house. Of course, Athens was much more fascinating than the view of Los Angeles. I realized that this had been the first time I’d even thought of Bass since Dimitris and I had left. About ten minutes later, Dimitris landed on a helipad of a tall building. Apparently, he owned the entire building. The top two floors were used as his apartment and the ‘party’ was on the third floor. We ate our meal that his chef prepared–an authentic Greek

meal just as he had promised–in his apartment. After dinner we headed a floor down to join the party, I was surprised that the loud music didn’t reach upstairs. His soiree had a club atmosphere and it had a breathtaking view of Athens. I only had a glass of wine upstairs during dinner, but when his friends welcomed me and shoved shots of ouzo my way, I couldn’t say no. Did I fail to mention that Dimitris was the perfect gentleman? He was awesome. We danced all night. At around two-thirty, he pulled me aside. “Do you want to stay the night here with me or do you want my pilot to fly you back?” We were both obviously drunk and I appreciated that he was offering to have his pilot fly me back instead of him, but did I want to fly back? Bass would probably be asleep by now. “I would love to go back to the island. It’s been a lovely night, but I want to sleep in my room, if you don’t mind.” Dimitris arranged his pilot to fly me back. On the helipad, he gathered me in his arms and gave my lips a chaste kiss, the taste of ouzo on his lips. “I will be seeing you very soon, Aphrodite. Have a safe flight.” I gave him another quick wave before I jumped inside the deathtrap. Since I was drunk, I wasn’t scared of flying back to the island. A driver was waiting for me when we landed and took me back to my cottage. I happily waved at the driver and walked

slowly to the door. I opened my purse and searched clumsily for my key, but before I could even find it, the front door was yanked open by an intimidating Bass. “You’re drunk!” Really? I hadn’t noticed. “Ah, Bass-hole, how are we doing tonight?” I shoved past him and went straight to the kitchen to get some water. The entire house was dark, except for the moonlight shining through the windows. “Why are you home so late, Emma?” I chugged the entire glass of water then slammed it down on the counter. I spun around and faced him. “The green-eyed monster got you, baby? You should be happy that I didn’t say yes to Dimitris’ offer to stay the night with him.” I walked towards him, brazen and so full of energy, and cupped his balls. Bass was momentarily shocked from my attitude. “Does jealousy eat you alive?” I squeezed his manhood a little bit tighter. “How much do you want me, hotshot?” His eyes darkened and he looked downright wicked. Bass gave me a devilish grin, picked me up and swiftly carried me to my bedroom. He got us inside in a heartbeat. He put me down onto my stomach on the floor and ordered, “Don’t move. Let me do everything.” I like this Bossy Bass, I excitedly mused.

“Lift your arms.” I did as I was told. Bass slowly took off my clothes, leaving me in my skimpy thong. His forefinger traced a path from my neck to the base of my spine. He pulled my hair to the side, exposing my neck and began a trail of kisses down my back. He knelt down and slowly slid my underwear off then resumed his trail of soft kisses. When he got to the crevice of my butt he stuck his tongue out and I tensed. Whoa, there! “Step aside and bend over with your hands touching your toes.” Ummm, What?! I was a bit skeptical but still followed his commands, bending over with my ass up in the air while I clutched my toes as if my life depended on it. From the base of my butt’s crevice, his thumb slowly glided down until it reached my sensitized area. I gasped when his thumb grazed by my anus. It went further until he reached my pussy and jabbed his thumb inside me. I gasped in shock. “Do you like what I’m doing to you, Emma?” he asked while his ministrations became frenzied. I moaned. FUCK. YES! I closed my eyes and savored the heavy pounding of my heart and the throbbing of my pussy as he became relentless. I wanted more… He pulled out his thumb and inserted it in my anus. I tensed, but before I could manage to protest, he stuck another finger inside my

vagina. Ah, shit! His finger was twirling and sliding in and out of me. He was taking some of my juices and slathering them along my labia. “Do you want more?” Bass rasped out. Did I want more? Was he loco? I wouldn’t be in this bent over position if I didn’t! “As much as you can give me,” I implored. Bass pulled out his fingers. I sighed when he lifted me up and carefully placed me on the edge of the bed. He knelt before me and slid the lower half of my body a tad off the bed. I bit my bottom lip as I stared at him. My carnal body was fervent for him, aching for him to touch me. Spreading me wide open, he folded my legs and looked at me. “Hold onto your legs. Don’t let go until I tell you to, understand?” Bass asked as he pressed both of his hands on my inner thighs and pushed them open further. When had I become so flexible? The sides of my folded legs were touching the bed, all wide and all accessible to him. Anything you ask, I’ll do. “I won’t let go until you tell me to.” The wicked smile of his resurfaced again. “Good girl, Emma.” Just the look of Bass in this licentious state gave me a euphoric high. If I thought he looked like a badass sex-god before, I was much more blown away with the wicked Bass before me. It was the light and the dark side of him meshed together.

Bass pulled something out of his pocket and opened a tiny can of Altoids, the sugar-free kind. Ah, why did he need breath mints? He popped six tiny, blue squares in his mouth and placed the rest next to me. His azure eyes glittered before me as he focused on my exposed genitalia. I watched as he puckered his lips and slowly blew his minty breath on my pussy all the way down to my anal hole and then back up again. I shivered, holy awesomesauce! The tip of his minty tongue ran through my pussy with one quick swipe. The minty feel made my labia tingle like it was on fire. I clenched my vaginal muscles. I was trying to control my body because it was on the verge of combusting from the thrill and anticipation of Bass’s ravaging tongue. He reached out and took two more Altoids and inserted them inside me. His hot tongue followed suit. I yelped. All the minty/fiery/cool/wet sensations and the ministrations of his tongue made me lose control. I lifted my hips off the bed, wanting him to keep going, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure if I could handle it. Bass focused on my nub and started to slowly nip the sides of my wet folds. “Bassss!” I screamed when he inserted his middle and forefinger inside my pussy and his thumb in my back door entrance. Anal foreplay was something I had never experienced; it was a taboo and I never thought it would play a part during sex, but Bass

proved me wrong. His finger fucking of my vagina was another thing. He didn’t move it in and out of me, but instead, he hooked his fingers like a grapnel, and zeroed in on my g-spot. Bass was abso-fucking-lutely relentless in working over my body; his thumb stuck inside my other hole, his teeth biting in between the twisting and flickering of his tongue on my clit and his finger hooked in my pussy were all making me tremble violently. I was a fucking shipwreck; sinking further down and drowning from all the shocking tremors that were vibrating through my body in waves. The more I thrashed and moaned, the more Bass became feral, unleashing those teeth of his, biting me. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any crazier, he pulled out his thumb and used his free middle finger to trace my pussy juice down to my ass. Sliding it down, wetting it before he stuck his middle finger in my anal entrance. I bellowed when he started it all over again. It didn’t take long before my orgasm rocked me over and over and over again. Back to back to back, the crazy multiple orgasms made me see stars. “Bass, please, stop. I can’t take it anymore. I want you in my mouth,” I begged and sobbed at the same time because he wasn’t letting up. I didn’t know if I could handle another round of orgasms. I was already dying; the next batch would surely put me six-feet

under. When Bass finally came away from my mound and ass, his lips were cherry red, my wetness glistening on his mouth and chin. His smile was devious. From the top slit of my lower lips. He stuck out his tongue and slowly licked me going upwards; past my navel, the valley of my breasts, my chest, my neck and stopped on the tip of my chin. I gasped when I felt his hot tongue trace my lips in such a slow, sweet, lingering motion. I was praying for him to kiss me, but he gave me a kiss on the tip of my nose instead. What? There is no way we were done here! I wanted to touch that fat monster of his. I’d been dying to since I saw him naked the night we swam. I reached down to unbuckle his jeans, but he moved sideways. “No, don’t do this,” I begged. How could he not want to finish this after what just happened between us? He stared at me, eyes flicking back and forth. “Be with me, Emma,” Bass rasped out. I didn’t know if I could be with Bass. He was a big mystery to me. What I felt for him was just too complex to analyze at that moment. “I…” What? “Yes?” Bass waited until I spoke again. “I don’t have an answer.” What happened with Carter taught me that playboys couldn’t be trusted. Bass was one, too. If I thought Carter had an army of sluts in Los Angeles, Bass Cole had

an army in every country. Bass nodded. “Right, of course,” he said in a clipped tone. He got up and left my bedroom. I stared at the closed door, wondering if he and I would ever come to a resolution.

“What is a good performance? It lies in the hands and head of a performer... the shortest way between two people is not a straight line.”

~Earle Brown

Thirty-One The moon had just started to show when I arrived on set. Today we were filming the scene where Angela and Logan went for drinks at a local bar. The massage scene, where they initially meet, would be done tomorrow. I didn’t know why it was done backwards. I just did as I was told. I didn’t know how it would play out with Bass tonight, especially since I didn’t see him all day yesterday or this morning. My palms were sweaty and I was so nervous. The song, “Lose Yourself” by Eminem played in my head, on repeat mind you. I just hoped I didn’t get too nervous. The last thing I needed was to get choked up and be unable to utter a damn line. The first scene we would be filming today was an encounter between Angela and Logan. It was in a bar which would lead them to the abandoned hut where they made love for the first time. I had read through my lines and I knew them by heart… yet, I was still anxious. The thought of getting naked for the second scene

tonight in the “abandoned hut” with Bass, made me want to faint. I spun around when I heard someone approach me. “Emma? Hi! I’m Megan. Your hair and make-up team are ready for you.” I took her outstretched hand and followed her. I met the three people who were on my hair and make-up team–Stacy—hair, Gigi—clothes and body and Ants–short for Anton—make-up. They were all dynamic people and were excited that the shooting was finally about to start. And of course, they gushed and compared Dimitris and Bass. I stayed mum since I didn’t have anything else to add. They pretty much said everything there was to be said about their hotness and their certain body parts, in great detail. Ants shooed me away when I was done. The gay man’s unique personality was very uplifting and he made me a little less nervous. When I came out, I saw Bass talking to a few actors that I recognized. He was laughing and joking around with them, but when our eyes met, his laughter died and he looked away. So when Martin and the film crew indicated that we were about to start and the second assistant cameraman held the clapperboard, I zoned Emma out and channeled Angela. ~E~

After a few drinks with Angela, Logan started to become

aggressive. His large hands were caressing her thighs as he whispered in her ear, “Does the rest of your body feel like silk? Angela laughed and clutched his thigh. “You tell me. You were the one who gave me a massage earlier. Did you think it felt like silk then?” Logan’s hand took Angela’s and made her touch his face. Slowly, he looked at her through his lashes and with parted his lips, he sucked on her middle finger. She gasped at his brazen approach, especially since they were at a bar. “I want to taste your silk, Angela.” Angela just gave him a seductive smile. “You need to work a little harder than that, don’t you think?” For the rest of the evening, Logan tried to seduce Angela. When he took her for a midnight stroll on the beach, he knew he was going to have her. He wouldn’t allow it to be any other way. ~E~

The clapperboard woman shouted, “And cut!” Bass left without saying a word to me. I stared at him, lost in my thoughts and simmering at the infuriating actor. We were moved to another location and that took another hour to set up. This, though, was a smaller crew since there was a lot of nudity involved. There were only a few people allowed inside

the shack—the director, camera man, sound guy and a couple of women who would hand us our robes once the scene was over. The dynamic trio—Ants, Stacy and Gigi—took my clothes off and applied some lotion that would make me glow and my hair and make-up was retouched. The most embarrassing part? I had to lie down and spread my legs wide open so Gigi could put the vaginal pastie on properly. It was just enough to cover where my entrance was located. She said she didn’t want to have to redo it during the shoot. I was pretty sure I didn’t want to ever have to do this again. After a quick tousle of my hair, I was ready. Wearing only a blue silk robe, I stepped out of the tent and went inside the shack. The rest of the crew would wait outside until the scene was done. I was told that this scene could take thirty minutes or up to two hours to shoot—depending on how many times we had to shoot it to get it right. Any amount of time I would have to spend with the asshat was unpalatable, given my agitated state. Once in the shack, I was shocked to find Bass there in only a black silk robe that was slightly parted, showing off his hard chest. Not meeting his eyes, I swallowed hard. I better freaking get it together before I humiliate myself. I wished he would be at least nice to me; I wouldn’t have had a mild panic attack. The rustic room had candles lit around the bed giving the scene

a romantic ambiance. We were ordered to stand in front of the bed and kiss until we made our way onto the bed. If Martin didn’t like it, we had to redo it again and again until he was happy with it. Standing with Bass, the robe ladies came over and took them away from our bodies. My nipples tightened at the sudden feel of air against my flushed skin. I stared at everything other than Bass, but I could still feel him watching me. When the clapperboard woman stood up, I forced myself to suck it up. Bring it on, Bass Cole! “In five, four…” The stage hand finished counting down with her hands in silence then pointed at us as the film began rolling. ~E~

Logan touched Angela’s face, staring lustfully into her eyes and brushed his lips to hers. Once they started kissing, all hell broke loose. Without breaking their kiss, Logan had Angela on the bed in a matter of minutes. Parting her legs, he positioned himself on top of her as he kissed her to oblivion. Emma, what the fuck is going on. I can’t breathe! OMG! Bass is fucking hard against me. OMG! Fuck! Logan slowly made love to Angela, showing her the delights of his body as he licked and kissed her neck all the way to her breasts. Lost in each other’s body, that night sealed Logan and

Angela’s fate. ~E~

“Cut!” Immediately, the robe ladies came forth. Bass jumped out of the bed and took his robe. Before leaving the shack, he bent over and whispered in my ear, “It’s my turn.” Turn for what? To be a fucking pain in the ass? Son of a gun! I hated him! I fumed and left to change in the tent where the dynamic trio helped me dress and wished me goodnight. Bass was beyond infuriating. His ice-cold indifference was driving me mental!

“Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink and your thirst increases.”

~Chinese Proverb

Thirty-Two When I got out of the dressing room, dressed in a short, thinstrapped cotton dress, I didn’t see Bass anywhere. I was relieved and ticked off at the same time. What kind of game was he playing with me? “It’s my turn.” What the hell? Saying that he was frustrating was an understatement. I spun around when I heard Martin behind me. “You did a splendid job tonight, Emma.” Now, I was blushing. “You think so? Thank you. That means a lot.” He gave me a tired smile and tapped my shoulder. “There’s a thunderstorm coming in tonight, but it should be clear with sunny skies tomorrow. You should grab one of the rides and head safely to your cottage. Goodnight, Emma.” With a quick wave, he and Jack walked off in a deep conversation. Since we were on the other side of the island, a lot of the golf carts were here. When I got close to where the carts were parked, I made a last minute decision and decided to walk. It would take

me longer to get to the cottage, but I needed the walk to clear my head. There was no way for me to get lost as long as I stayed on the sandy path that led to the cottages. I took my sandals off before I started walking back and I reveled in the feel of sand between my toes. The sky let out a loud, angry grumbling sound. The weather certainly matched my mood. I was stuck with thoughts of Bass and my brain wouldn’t shut down. My mind kept skipping back to our kiss like a broken vinyl record. It kept flashing and playing in my mind. The kiss with Bass. Just the thought of it gave me shivers. Kissing Bass for the first time tonight, even though fake, felt so fucking real to me. I trembled in his arms and I felt like I was being lifted off into another dimension. The raw feel of his bare chest against my breasts felt too delicious. His evident hard-on against my mound felt like paradise. I wanted him so badly it had become a distraction, but I was hesitant and cautious. I just didn’t know what to do about him. Would it be wise to cross that line with Bass? He was such a lothario–hadn’t I just dealt with Carter and his man-whoreness? As disconcerting as it was to me, at the same time, I was euphoric. What was it about sexy bad boys that was just too hard to resist? The heart-pounding chase, the frustrating game and the cataclysmic surrender… it was like no other. I rubbed my arms gently while I strolled leisurely. My skin felt

damp on my hand, my body sheened with sweat. My long hair felt flat, almost losing its volume. After what seemed like two and half hours of shooting different scenes with a few that had to be reshot three times, it was no wonder I felt drained. There were no stars or moon tonight and the sky was dark. The clouds hung low and another loud grumbling sound warned me of the storm that was coming. Most of the cottages I passed were still dark since most of the people staying in them were on the film crew, and they were still back at the set. I walked faster and sighed with relief when my cottage came into view. Where was Bass? I wondered when I saw that the cottage was completely dark. I gathered my hair and tucked it over my right shoulder before I stepped on the four-step, pebble-cemented stairs. Once on the patio, I dropped my sandals next to the sliding glass door and shook some of the sand off my feet. Once done, I let myself in the darkened cottage. Now, where were the light switches located? It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the living room. “What took you so long?” I jumped from the unexpected sound of his voice. “Bass?” I was rooted to the spot when I saw him stride towards me, wearing only his worn out jeans. They hung low on his hips,

showcasing that sexy v-line. His rock hard, perfectly contoured body stood inches away from me. My throat constricted when I heard his shallow breathing. The words of Alexander Pushkin, the Russian poet floated in my head as I met my fate and looked him straight in the eye. Then came a moment of renaissance, I looked up - you again are there, A fleeting vision, the quintessence Of all that’s beautiful and rare. The world around me got smaller. At that very instant, it consisted only of Bass. My body was heightened and apprehensive, every hair standing on end. My nipples tightened acutely, painfully. When his finger lightly touched the curve of my cleavage, I closed my eyes as my body tilted a bit. My ears started ringing as my heart galloped with lightning speed. I felt drunk with lust and itched to be touched. I wanted to be possessed, marked, fucked and owned by him. I craved it. My body craved it. My soul craved it. With my eyes closed, all of my senses centered on him. “It’s my turn, Emma,” Bass murmured. My eyes snapped open when I felt him rip the delicate strap on my right shoulder. “My turn to claim this sinful body of yours,” he ground out before he ripped the other strap. My dress pooled to my feet. When my eyes finally met his

again, Bass looked dangerous. The sweet-talking Bass that I knew last year was gone. My body, though, didn’t care. It responded with an electrifying intensity when his eyes found my breasts. They felt heavy, my nipples peaked. His fingers grabbed the side of my thong and ripped the scrap off my body. I gasped from the slight sting I felt when it chafed my skin. At the same time, my body exalted with excitement. I felt hot liquid dripping slowly from my core in anticipation. Without breaking eye contact, he took off his pants. My teeth bit my bottom lip when I saw his fat cock spring free. Wow, my eyes simply couldn’t stop devouring the impressive size of his erection. I felt raunchy and downright nasty. On cue, his eager phallus twitched from my appraisal. Bass started stroking his length, slowly, up and down, while I watched it grow bigger. His hardness was stretched to capacity, evidence of his fervid arousal. I was unprepared when Bass used his fingers to pinch my pebbled nipple and twisted it. Upon releasing it, he lightly slapped my breast. Oh, fuck! Pleasure bordering on pain coursed through me. My mound quivered as I clenched my thighs together. I wanted to have sex and get it over with! This foreplay was killing me! “What are you waiting for Bass? Where do you want me?” my voice pleaded like the horny, wanton woman that I was. He let go

of his cock and caressed my neck. In soft, excruciating strokes, he touched my jaw and stopped on my lips. Bass gave me an evil smile. “Kiss me, Emma.” God, yes! Wetting my lips slowly, I pulled his arm and pushed him hard against the wall. It was my turn now. Pressing my fevered body against his hard masculine one, I hastily pulled his face towards me. His hands wrapped around me while I cupped his jaw. I wanted to eat those lips of his like there was no tomorrow since he had deprived me of it for so long. However, when our lips touched for the second time tonight, the animalistic kiss I expected turned slow and sweet. Ever so lightly, he used the tip of his tongue to open my mouth to him. I kissed him with every feeling that I felt, everything that I believed in and everything that was in me. The sweet slow kisses tilted my axis. He was my kismet. I moaned against him when he sucked on my tongue. I ran my nails down his back, grazing him. Bass shifted our positions and had me against the wall instantly. With our lips kissing and our tongues sparring, he swiftly lifted me up. He shoved me, pinning me against the wall while my legs clutched his hips. His cock twitched when it touched my wet folds. I used my hips to grind my parted folds against the tip of his shaft, but he lifted me upwards, not wanting my pussy to touch his penis.

“Bass… I can’t wait anymore.” With strength and determination, Bass carried me to the outdoor canopy bed. He hovered over me and I just wanted to die from the electrifying feel of him. The loud clapping of thunder broke out in the background, but I was beyond caring about anything other than this man. I felt him lower his body and part me wide open, both heels on the bed. Bass stuck two fingers inside me while his tongue teased my nub and folds. I whimpered when his ministrations became fervent and I couldn’t stand the feeling. I sat up and pulled his lips to mine and kissed him while he finger fucked me. I felt the first drop of rain on my shoulder, but it didn’t stop us. Rain couldn’t stop me, not even a storm. The smell of him and the feel of his heat were overwhelming my senses. I was rapturous. I licked the raindrops, which were coming in sideways, off Bass’s neck and sucked on his earlobe. “Emma, I want you so fucking much,” he hissed. Bass moaned when I started to go down on him, biting and nipping his skin. Without the help of my hands, I lowered my mouth to capture the thick throbbing head of his cock. My tongue made slow impassioned circular motions, before I hollowed my cheeks to take him deeper. With the way Bass was hissing and moaning, I didn’t care if I gagged or not, as long as I was pleasuring him. I

loved watching this man become undone by my mouth alone. Relaxing my throat, I took him deeper and he hit the back of my throat. “Fuck, Emma!” Bass hissed in between pants. Excellent, I’m not finished with you yet. I thought silently. I quickly shook my head as his member swiftly shot back and forth in my mouth, the tip of his shaft sensitive to the ridged muscles on the back of my throat. I used my hand to pull his ball sack as my tongue spiraled along with my bobbing head. Bass groaned before he pulled me off of his cock. He stood up, pulled me out of the bed and guided me to the cemented railing. “Spread your legs open, bend over and rest your elbows on the rail,” he commanded. I sucked in a breath. All this anticipation was driving me insane. I felt him behind me. “You’re so beautiful, Emma. You’ve been my living nightmare,” Bass hissed in my ear as he stuck his fingers inside of my hot, hungry channel again. My ass pushed down on his hand. I wanted more, dammit! I closed my eyes and concentrated on the glorious feeling his fingers were giving me. “How does your pussy like to be fucked, Emma?” At this point, he could do as he pleased. “It doesn’t matter.” Bass’s deep, fuck me voice broke into my thoughts again. “You’re so tight, Emma. Do you think your pussy can handle my cock?” I shook my head in response. No, I didn’t think so, but I

didn’t care. “Do you want me to rip you apart? Make this sweet, little pussy stretch while you wince in the pain with pleasure it will give you?” “YES! PLEASE!” I begged. The rain hadn’t stopped and we were both soaked. My pussy was soaked and out of control. I groaned in agony when I felt his other hand circle around my anus. What was he waiting for? I was way past ready. The thunder rumbled again, a little longer this time. His lips pressed against my back when I heard him, “I will fuck you on one condition, Emma.” I stilled. “What condition?” “You give me your body the entire time we are here, day and night. I want it available to me at all times. No one else gets to touch it, but me. Allow me to fuck my addiction of you, in your mouth and in your sweet cunt. I want sole ownership, Emma.” I felt him withdraw his fingers and position the tip of his fat cock on my entrance. FUCK! ME! Damn you. Us together for four months, day in and day out. What happened when we got back to L.A.? Would we be friends or foes? Do you really want to think about that right now? I think not. “Yes…”

My eyes widened and my mouth opened when I felt his large cock pierce me with one hard, obliterating thrust. “Perfect answer, you are mine now.” Even with all of my abundant wetness, he had a hard time sliding it all the way home. “Hell, Emma. If I had known you’d feel like this, I wouldn’t have let you go,” Bass muttered as he took hold of my hips and forcefully took me harder, filling me to the brim. I felt the sting of my pussy being ripped apart and stretched open painfully, but the overwhelming ecstasy it gave me in return was breathtaking. “Open your eyes and look ahead. Don’t ever tear your eyes away until we’re done.” I nodded and opened my eyes. The Aegean Sea was dark and foreboding. Black thick clouds rumbled and terrifying bolts of lightning lit up the sky. The thunderstorm was dangerous and beautiful; Mother Nature at her finest. My body shook when Bass started to pound his cock into me harder. I cried out when he slapped my ass, hard. “Keep staring at the tumultuous, thrilling beauty of nature in its rawest, pure, majestic form. This is what you do to me. You are like a thunderstorm. This is how I feel about you.” I sobbed in pleasure when Bass turned manic and furious. Fuck! He was monstrous. Every stroke was a new hit of sensation. It was madness, but it still wasn’t enough.

“Bass, I’m losing it here. Just fucking finish me off already because I don’t think I can take this anymore!” Without a word, he placed his hand around the back of my neck, gave me one last powerful thrust and shattered me. I screamed as my orgasm annihilated me. My body took what he gave until he couldn’t hold off any longer. I clenched my muscles to heighten his orgasm more as he shot his load inside my womb. My body quivered when his cock pulsated inside of me. Wow, that was mind-altering sex. I couldn’t believe I had passed this up. He kissed my shoulder and pulled out. I happily sagged against him as he carried me inside the house and went straight to my bedroom. Standing, he grabbed a towel and dried me first, then him. “I know we should shower, but I want to be close to you for a little bit longer.” He pulled me towards the bed, his big arms enveloped me. “Bass?” I’ve been dying to know. “Hmm?” He responded, holding me tighter. “What did you mean when you said you wouldn’t have let me go?” His fingers kept stroking the side of my arm, I loved being with him. “That last night in my bed, I wanted to tighten my arms around

you and never let you leave me.” HUH? “What do you mean? You were asleep.” I even remember saying he was in a deep coma-like sleep. I remembered it clearly… like it had just happened yesterday. “I wasn’t.” No fucking way. Was he serious? “You looked like you were asleep.” “I’m an actor, Emma.” Damn. “But why did you let me go then, if you clearly didn’t want to?” He took a while responding. I listened to his heartbeat while I waited. “You needed me to let go of you at the time. Carter was in your life, but even with or without him, I felt that you needed to find your own happiness. I didn’t want to sacrifice your happiness for my own.” Shit. What does any of that mean? That he cares for me… a lot? “So… a thunderstorm, huh? I don’t know how to take that.” Bass kissed the back of my earlobe. “You simply struck me without warning.” I melted and burned like hot molten lava. He started nipping my neck as he rolled his body on top of mine. “I want you again, Bass,” I moaned as I opened my legs to accommodate him and guided his semi-aroused cock into my entrance. “Emma,” he whispered against my ear when his head

penetrated me. I moaned at the sore, pleasurable feel. He felt so… so good! “Don’t make me fall for you, Emma.” “You won’t.” I cried out when he entered me roughly. I glorified at the feel of him. Yes! Bass started kissing the side of my face and my earlobe. Then he whispered, “What if it’s already too late?” ~E~ “When feelings of abandonment and betrayal arise with a soul mate, they do not last. Once soul mates achieve an ultimate level of symbiosis and serenity with each other, it remains forever.”

~Linda Brady

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Chasing Beautiful (CHASING SERIES BOOK #1)

By Pamela Ann

Chasing Beautiful Copyright © 2013 Pamela Ann All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. Edited by Alizon and Kristin Cover design by Melissa Gill Interior book design by Bob Houston eBook Formatting

To all loves, lost and found.

One I felt someone’s presence before I was fully awake. When I managed to slightly part my eyes, I cursed inwardly from the brightness of the sunshine. Great, I forgot to close the blinds again last night. Willing my sleepy eyes to open a little wider this time, I was stunned to find Blake sitting on my couch, right across from me, wearing a dark scowl. Why, oh why! Did I give him a spare key, again? Ah, yes! So, that he could have a place to go to if he was feeling out of sorts. What a genius idea that was! I rubbed my eyes and yawned loudly. When I finally glanced at his quiet form, he was still wearing a deep scowl on his face, and still not voicing a word. Okay… “Good morning to you, too,” I said with a sleepy voice that dripped with sarcasm. What’s with the attitude? I added inwardly. “What the bloody hell were you thinking, Sienna?!” Blake’s voice was grating and condescending, his beautifully expressive eyes—midnight blue rimmed with grey and flecks of gold in the middle—flashed with barely suppressed anger; stormy and formidable. “Excuse me? What in the world are you yapping about,

Blake?” His tone took me aback, I definitely wasn’t expecting it. Was he drunk, high or something? He didn’t look it, but still, that was beyond strange behavior. “Care to enlighten me?” I asked, exasperated and annoyed. I felt like someone had run me over; I probably looked it, too. I’d give anything for coffee right now, I sighed at the thought. What kind of mess was I in? I didn’t recall stepping on anyone’s toes before I left London to go home, I think. I just landed yesterday, jet-lagged and a little drained from my conversation with Luce before she left for Turkey with Toby. And now this… Blake had barged in here like he owned the place with a demanding and taxing demeanor. Wait, hold on. How did he know I’d arrived already? Ah, Lucy Connelly probably did the courtesy. She’s my friend, my flat mate, and dating Toby Watson—Blake’s best friend since childhood. I met Lucy at a college party. She was sweet and genuine, we’d hit it right off. She casually mentioned that the woman who she shared an apartment with left for New York to follow her boyfriend. So I’d immediately inquired about the vacant room. I was living in student housing then, but needed my own place —away from cat-fights, drunken noise and drama. She offered excitedly and wanted me to check it out the next day. I moved in

two days later and our friendship blossomed to the point where we became each other’s closest confidant. She went to school with Toby and Blake at the London School of Economics. When she started dating Toby, two weeks after I moved in, I became friends with the two men; more so with Blake, though. We’d just clicked. That was a little over eight months ago. “I ran into Lucy last night in Toby’s flat, and she casually mentioned that you came back, without telling anyone, might I add. So, OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to visit you, but she stopped me, revealed that you were in a delicate state. So, of course, my curiosity was piqued. I badgered her until she told me what she knew and learned about your ‘little interlude’ with Kyle, while his girlfriend was on the premise. I believe that the intention of ‘closure,’ indeed, was lost on you.” Blake’s furious expression deepened when he said ‘little incident.’ Oh, shit. I blushed. Shit-fuck-shit. He probably thinks I’m a hussy now, giving in to Kyle’s advances. I glanced away from him quickly. Is he ticked off that I haven’t called him about what happened and instead, learned it from Lucy? He even managed to sound hurt? I’m sort of in a tricky situation; Kyle cheated on his girlfriend—

with me. When I told Luce, she was shocked and felt wretched for me. So, it was no surprise really that Blake was angry. “Yeah, about that… it was merely a moment of madness—I’m shattered about it. I mean, who wouldn’t be in my situation? My emotions got the best of me,” I said lamely. Or maybe I was just plain horny and had made a beeline for it! I wanted to erase the whole entire visit back home from my lagging memory. “How could you put yourself in that position? I didn’t understand the bloody need to go and get ‘closure’. He already started seeing someone else before he called to break it off with you. Have you forgotten about that? He’s a cheater! Yet you still went prancing back to Los Angeles, and to make matters worse, he took advantage of that. You were intoxicated and placed yourself in danger!” His scowl deepened. “You could’ve been hurt, Sienna.” I was, not in the way he was implying, but my heart and pride were crushed. “Good God. I was in no way or shape in any danger. You seriously exaggerate and blow things out of proportion! Really now, Blake… it’s Kyle we’re talking about here. He would never hurt me, not like that.” I fidgeted with my lemon chiffon-colored, six hundred count sheets, trying to gather ground. Was it really pathetic to look for closure? No, but if the guy in question had cheated, surely closure is out of the

question? My thoughts queried. Blake sighed deeply and got up from the couch, standing in front of me, holding out his hand. His frame dominated the room. It was a pretty decent size, but put Blake’s presence anywhere and the result would be the same; size be damned. He had that pulling power around him and his dark good looks just enhanced it. He was dressed in nude chino shorts, a blue dress shirt that was pushed back to his elbows and tan, soft-leather loafers. He looked like he had just stepped out of a Dolce & Gabbana summer photo shoot. Sometimes I wish he was average looking; then it would be easier to look at him without melting. A few strands of his wavy locks fell onto his forehead. Looking down at me, his beautiful face was complacent. “I made the courtesy of brewing some coffee. Come, you look like you need some.” Oh, don’t I just. I took his outstretched hand and he pulled me out of bed. “I was worried, Sienna. I care for your well-being. Don’t be cross.” I looked down, not meeting his gaze. The man towered over my five-foot-two stature. Blake inhaled deeply, smelling my forehead before kissing it then he grabbed my hand and we walked towards the kitchen where the smell of freshly brewed coffee emanated, drawing me closer. He didn’t utter another word until I’d had my first sip of caffeine. “How are you really feeling? Okay? Not okay?” Blake

was studying my reaction, pensive. “Yes—no—I don’t know? Can one ever be okay after a broken heart?” I shrugged. “I’m sure I’ll move on, but I doubt I’ll put my heart out there like that again. It was traumatizing enough doing it once. Being vulnerable is something I don’t take lightly— with my background and all.” I sipped my scalding coffee without batting an eyelash. It was true; vulnerability reminded me of my demoralizing childhood and Hell would freeze over before I put myself in that compromising position again. Blake’s handsome head nodded in agreement with evident understanding. He had an idea of my rotten years of misery, but had never really pushed me to talk about it. I appreciated it and respected him for it. Both of our parents died when we were young and it was something we have in common. It gives us a platform of understanding. A place where we don’t have to explain, but we simply understand the pain, the loss, the daunting uncertainty of loneliness and the frightening feeling of what looms on the horizon. Blake and I immediately became close after Lucy started dating Toby. We liked the same books, shows, board games, amongst other things. We hit it off right off the bat and hung out once a week or so when he wasn’t busy with his women, and there’d been a lot.

In the beginning, both Luce and Toby thought we would start dating, too, but after a few months of insinuating, they finally let-up —accepting the fact that we clearly were just friends, platonic friends. I must admit that, at times, my mind drifts off and I imagine what it would be like to date someone like Blake. Six-foot-three, all muscles and the most arresting face; full lips, straight nose, chiseled jaw and his unique eyes were hypnotizing. Sometimes I got caught up staring into those eyes and forgot where I was. Blake was the sexiest man—sinfully beautiful—my eyes had ever graced. I always snapped myself back to reality when I reminded myself that he was only a good friend and he dated tall, beautiful, leggy, statuesque women; preferably lingerie models. My Coca-Cola-bottle-shaped form did not stand a chance. Sure, most red-blooded males find me desirable and gorgeous, but with Blake, I simply felt Plain Jane. “…so it should be okay, right?” I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying and my dumbfounded look seemed to annoy him. Glaring at me and combing his hair with his right hand, he looked frustrated. Something was bugging him. “Sienna… I was asking you if you wanted to eat breakfast.” “You haven’t had breakfast yet? How come? You never leave anywhere without eating first thing in the morning…” I trailed off. “Hold on, how long have you been here, sitting and scowling at me

like a bear with a sore head?!” My accusing green-gold eyes held onto his midnight silver blue. “Awhile…” I glared at him some more, not budging. “Okay, okay. I think… quite possibly around four in the morning, I suppose?” He looked sheepish admitting that and he started to run his fingers through his dark locks, again. That habit comes out when he’s anxious. He didn’t know that I know that, but I’ve noticed it enough. I notice everything about him. Did I hear that right? He’s been here since four in the morning? “WHAT!?!”Oh, hell. He was really pushing it. People break-up and get hurt all the time. There was no need to go to such lengths on my account. “I was concerned about you. I was worried and wanted to see for myself that you were okay. You’re one of my closest friends, Sienna. Sometimes, even more than Toby; I didn’t want some bloody, idiotic wanker treating you badly—as though you’re worth nothing! You weren’t picking up your bloody phone so I rushed over—like the good friend that I am—checking if you’d drunk yourself to a stupor or what of it.” “I was sleeping! So obviously, it was on silent!” I snapped at him. He has a very active imagination. How will he run his granddad’s empire if he’s extremely paranoid? The whole

company will crumble under his thumb in a week! The thought made me smile. That would be a sight to see. Knowing how he was, though, he’d excel and surpass everyone’s expectations like he always did. His frown deepened. I scowled. Not able to stand the feeling of being at odds with him, I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the couch. Our living room was painted in egg-shell yellow and consisted of two huge couches, a HD television and a coffee table as well as other knick-knacks to make it warm and inviting. The contrast of dark, wooden floor and a huge, baby blue area rug gave it a homey, cozy feel. It was spacious and airy at the same time, never stifling. I loved that flat. I felt like I belonged here. We sat next to each other on one of the dark, mustard colored couches, touching at our shoulders and thighs. I glanced down and studied the outline of his well-toned, muscular thighs, my eyes full of admiration. Uncomfortable, I looked at my very skimpy, cotton, soft-pink baby doll dress and felt a little flustered. How the heck did I manage to forget that I’m wearing almost next to nothing? I tried to cover my thighs by pulling it down more, but there was very little fabric to pull. Get over it, I told myself. Blake won’t be interested. Might

as well strip naked and test it. He’d probably beg you to get dressed before you embarrassed both of us more. I smirked at the thought. I tended to push his buttons a lot, much to his dismay. “Look, Blake, I apologize for my rude behavior. I’m sure if something happened to you, I would do the exact same thing. I was just taken aback. Thank you for caring. It means a lot to me. I suppose I should’ve seen it coming with Kyle. We hadn’t seen each other for nine months and we’d grown apart tremendously. The signs were there, but I ignored them. Somehow, deep down, I might’ve guessed that it was bound to happen. Kyle was a big part of my past and it’s sad that things had to end this way. We could’ve parted on nicer terms, but it happened and I just have to accept that.” That seemed to lighten his mood; just a tad bit. I took his right hand with my left and squeezed it tightly. Holding it, he took his other hand and touched my chin, making me look straight into his eyes, our faces only a few inches apart. I felt my stomach drop and I was mesmerized. I’ve never been this close to Blake. WOW! He easily takes my breath away. He’s so beautiful! Be still, my heart. “Are you sure you’re okay? Tell me, honestly? I want to beat his bloody ass to a pulp for hurting you! I warned you about that trip.” Obviously still angry and frustrated, I see.

Blake was such a good friend, maybe even a best friend. He cared for me. There were only a few that did and I’d treasure them forever. I suddenly felt like I had a lump in my throat. I cleared my throat and reached out to hug him. “I’m a bit better now, Blake. Don’t fuss about me! Sure, it was awful—you know—but the whole ordeal made me look at the bigger picture and I realized that I can’t hold on to the past… even if it is something I hold dear to my heart. I have to let it go and move on,” I whispered to him as my head nestled on his broad shoulder. I moved a little closer to his neck, wanting to rest my head and fall back to sleep again. He smelled delicious, which was a combination of a hint of lemon aftershave and something masculine. He smelled divine; I sighed loudly. How ironic is this? He came here to console me and here I am thinking naughty thoughts about him? I hate it when I got this weird feeling with Blake; it happened once in a while and, to be honest, it made me act awkward afterwards. I was a woman and just because he was my friend, it didn’t make me immune to his charms or his striking looks. Or his mouth-watering smell. GAH! I released him from my hug and sat back to enjoy my coffee. Clearly my reaction to his smell bothered me. “Let’s get you

out. Let’s do something fun; after we have breakfast at The Wolseley?” Blake looked like he was trying to conjure a plan. “Like what?” I thoughtfully asked him, knowing well enough that he didn’t quite know what the heck it was. He loved throwing ideas out and acting on them, spontaneous man that he was. “Whatever you fancy,” he said it with purpose as he sat back, splaying both arms on the back of the couch, legs both on the table, resembling a Greek god, lazing about with sheer contentment. His strong, thick, powerful legs were showcased before my lustful eyes. Is there anything this man is made of that isn’t sinful ? Everything about him screamed of sin and sex and I was hot and bothered. Am I always this hyper-aware of Blake? Has it always been like this? Quite possibly. It was too much; my sleepy state couldn’t process the heavy confusion and the coffee seemed to be working weakly. Hell. “Knightly, it was your idea. If you ask me, I’d rather sit at home and just sleep some more. Oh! How about we just watch movies here all day on the couch?” I smiled sweetly at him. Give in, please. I don’t want to shower and get dressed, I thought lazily. “That would not be a good idea, poppet. Get up, you little skive, and get dressed! I’ll have it figured out before we leave, all right?” Blake ordered, giving me his signature killer smile complete

with his sexy dimples showing. I loved it when he called me poppet in that cute, British accent. Truth be told, I had a hard time saying no to him when he dished out that type of smile and he bloody well knew it. I groaned, got up and threw a hap-sack pillow at his head. “This better be worth my time, Knightly.” I gave him my I’m-notso-amused face and started to leave when he suddenly pulled me down next to him on the couch. “Do you trust me?” Indeed, I did. I nodded and went to my room to get changed. Why was he being so intense about the whole Kyle thing? It was absolutely uncanny. I wasn’t sure if I liked him being that way towards me.

Two Showered and ready to go, I gave myself a once over in the full-length mirror that hung on my bathroom door. I wore a powder blue, cotton dress that fitted tightly around my torso and flared nicely at the bottom, sitting two inches above my knees. I accented the dress with mustard-colored, wedge espadrilles and hastily placed my naturally wavy, dark hair in a loose bun, evoking simplicity while still achieving a sexy look. I applied tinted moisturizer, pink gloss and just enough mascara to bring out my bright green eyes with a burst of gold popping out of them. It was one of my best features. Even if I felt like death inside, I needed to look at least presentable. It was part of the coping mechanism I learned when I was ten-years-old—always look put together. My golden-brown skin could be credited to my Brazilian/Caucasian mixed heritage. Spritzing my signature Coco Mademoiselle, I grabbed my tan Botkier tote and headed towards where Blake was patiently waiting for me. I found him in the kitchen on the phone. He turned around and gave me a swift examination before ending the call. “Ready?” he politely asked, as he stayed rooted to his spot. “Yep.”

“To breakfast, milady.” He held out his arm to link with mine. I smiled stupidly at him as we walked out the door and straight to the elevator. “Figured anything out yet?” I questioned, referring to ‘his plan of action’. “Sorted as promised, but it’s a surprise…” He looked impish and smug so I nudged him. As we emerged from the elevator, we headed towards the main entrance. “You have got to be joking! Why does it have to be a surprise? I hate surprises!” I exclaimed. I did hate surprises because surprises were horrible, every single time. So, I was a tad skeptical about that one. “You did agree to trust me; remember, poppet?” he asked, gazing at me with a playful smile as the sunshine accentuated his beautifully sculpted features, making him look annoyingly sexy as we hit the sidewalk. A few women who passed by stared openly at him. A harried woman stopped, halting in her tracks, awed, and just ogled— previous destination long forgotten as she was rooted to the cement sidewalk. Yeah, yeah he was hot. So, What? I wanted to snap that woman out of her trance. Don’t get me wrong; I adored Blake. I thought he was smart, articulate, funny, crazy talented and had a heart of gold, which was reserved for those he trusted, but it could be exhausting to be his

friend. Lucy had the same problem. We were the only women that Blake was friends with so we were constantly hounded for trivial information. Anything, to help them out, they’d say. “Right, if Blake really wanted a woman, he’d pursue her relentlessly, not the other way around,” had been the reply out of Lucy’s very owns lips. I go to a Fashion School, majoring in Fashion Marketing, and of course, the women there asked me about him after he picked me up from school once. He was parked on the curb and leaning on his sexy car looking absolutely delicious; that alone drove questions from six—SIX!—adult, grown women who had their panties twisted. The girlfriends I brought from school to party with us a few times brought hysterics into the mix at their first glance. Like “OMG, have you SEEN that ASS?” or “HOLY FUCK! He’s GORGEOUS!” or “Shit, Sienna, can you hook me up?” There was more, but I don’t want to elaborate any longer; it was taxing on my precious sanity. Blake, of course, never hooked-up with any of them because they weren’t lingerie model material. Glancing at him, I shrugged. “Yeah, right,” I said, thinking that this surprise better not suck or I was going back to my bed to wallow, sleep and then wallow some more. Jet-lag, thoughts of Kyle… what else? Kyle… did he know I’d left home? Home was Los Angeles for me and where Kyle was. My best friend, my protector… my

first love, my first everything—before he totally broke my heart almost a month ago when I got that call. Kyle and I had practically grown up together. He lived a few houses down from me. We were each other’s strength ever since we were seven years of age and we’d never grown apart, until I left for school in London. After a few months, he started being distant and talked to me over the phone only very reluctantly, and when he did, he was extremely nonchalant. I explained away his attitude with viable reasons such as he missed me or he couldn’t stand having me so far away from him and all. I had ignored the warning signs all too easily. Wanting to bridge the wedge between us, I decided to surprise him. I had a two-week window in between semesters so I could easily visit him, but before I booked the ticket, he called me. I was the one surprised. That call had shattered everything that I’d believed Kyle and I had along with my belief that we were invincible. He told me that he’d met someone else and he had been seeing her for a month. He justified his actions by stating that it was too difficult without me there and he was lonely. Lonely?! Two years of being together, not to mention that we’d been best friends since the age of seven, thrown out the window because

he was lonely?! What a cruel joke. Of course, Luce, Chad and Blake consoled me and all three begged me to forgo my trip to Los Angeles. They’d argued that he wasn’t worth it and I might just end up regretting the decision. However, I held my ground and still managed to book that blasted airline ticket. I wasn’t a coward and I needed to see it for myself. To hear him say it—I needed him to tell me that it was over. Guiding me to the parked Black One 77 Aston Martin on the curb, Blake opened the door and let me in. The heady perfume of leather and Blake’s signature aroma annihilated my nostrils, making my stomach churn; I love his smell. Opening his door, he slid onto the black leather seat next to me, pulled out his aviator shades and started the engine, pulling into traffic towards Piccadilly. Some of his hair fell on the side, looking like a sinfully sleek rock god, in control and dominating. What’s with Italian men and glorious hair, anyway? Even if he was only half Italian—he’d certainly got the coloring and the hair thing going on. I couldn’t help my thoughts sometimes. My reaction towards him came naturally. He was simply too damn sexy. “Did you sleep at all last night?” I asked, looking at him to see his facial expression. He smirked. “No, not really.”

I frowned at his answer. “But… why? You could’ve confronted me in the morning, Blake. Why the need to show up that late?” I was nursing my ego, pride and my heart, but I certainly was not suicidal. Blake exhaled deeply, his voice dark. “I needed to see with my very own eyes that you were not crying into oblivion or drowning in alcohol. I was worried. It didn’t help that you were alone in the flat and I reprimanded Lucy for leaving you in the state that you were in, even if she argued that you wanted to go straight to bed.” He looked so serious and started to get angry again. “It’s not Lucy’s fault that I showed up unannounced a week earlier than arranged, and besides, they had planned a trip to Turkey. I wasn’t about to have her stay back here because I had my heart broken. That’s ludicrous! She was worried, but I convinced her to leave me alone. I needed to be left alone last night and I thought, deep down, she knew that it was what I needed.” Blake looked pensive and seemed not to buy my argument. I tugged at his shirt. “Blake, you can’t seriously be mad at Lucy. She didn’t do anything wrong,” I was adamant that he believe me. I wasn’t going to let him be mad at Lucy and he knew it, too. He was merely trying to drive me insane. They were my friends and they meant a lot. They’d become like family. Taking my hand and linking his fingers with mine, he placed

both of our hands on his thigh before he spoke. “I hate seeing you hurt, Sienna. You’re one of my best friends; I cannot endure you being shattered and vulnerable. You always had this easy going, happy attitude about you, and after you got that call, you’ve changed. I know you’re hurt, poppet, but let me help you ease some of the pain? You’re not alone in this. If the situation were reversed, you would do exactly the same thing for me. Let me take care of you until you’re better.” Surprised and astonished by his speech, I gathered my dumbfounded brain to make a response. How lucky am I to have a friend like Blake? He didn’t talk much about his family, but from what I had gathered from Toby, to those he let in, he’d be their friend for life. A sort of til-death-do-us-part type of loyalty. Blake sounded too serious and I needed to lighten up the mood. Quirking my left eyebrow at him I asked, “Ease some of my pain, Knightly? Wonder how easily you can manage that! Tell me where and when and I’ll show up, milord.” I wore a seductive smile as I batted my lashes at him, going for the full effect. Yeah, sucker! He flashed his magnetic smile as he swiftly parked the car and killed the engine, giving me his undivided attention. “Are we frisky today, my sweet?” he drawled, brushing subtle strokes on my arm that still held his right hand. Ha, I see how you’re going to play

this. Two can play that game. “¿Cuánto me quieres, papi?” How much do you want me, papi? I purred at him, knowing full well he spoke fluent Spanish amongst other languages. Papi meant daddy, but it was widely used as an endearment in other Spanish-speaking countries, mostly in a sexual situation. I leaned over him, inhaling his smell as I whispered seductively, “Te deseo, papi—dentro de mí.” I want you, papi—inside me. Pulling back, I bit my lip and gazed at him through my lashes for the full-effect. His chiseled jaw dropped while the air crackled, heavy with arousal. I felt him hold my hand tighter. He swallowed hard and groaned. Okay. I kind of over did that, but I couldn’t help teasing him. I just wanted to see if he would take the bait and he had. I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. It was simply too intense; I had to figure out a way to diffuse the weird situation I had gotten myself into. Laughing always seemed to work. “I’m sorry; I got carried away. I couldn’t help teasing you. The opportunity was there and I just had to grab it!” I smiled at him with pure innocence. He laughed his throaty, sexy laugh, too. “Woman, you almost gave me a heart attack! That was some sexy stuff you just pulled. You’re lucky I didn’t take the bait and have my wicked way with

you!” With a sexy wink, he opened his door to get out of the car. He went to my side, opened the door and offered his hand to help me out. Chivalry’s always alive and kicking with Blake and Toby. I was lucky to have found Lucy as my flat mate and to have made very good friends with those two caring men, Blake especially. “Did you make a reservation?” “Don’t worry about anything. I got it handled,” Blake said reassuringly. I nodded. I was sure he had. I mean, did men like him need reservations, anyway? “Mr. Knightly, how lovely it is to see you again. How is your grandfather?” questioned the maître d', a middle-aged man wearing a suit and thick glasses, as he ushered us to our table. “He’s lovely, thank you.” Blake responded casually, placing his hand on my back as we headed to our table. “Here we are! Let me know if there is anything that I can do for you, Mr. Knightly. Good to see you again. Enjoy,” he said enthusiastically, looking at Blake and then me. “Thank you, Gerard.” Gerard gave a light nod, smiled towards me and stealthily left our table. I knew his granddad came here often with him. Blake adored his grandfather. He had taken him in when Blake was ten-years-old, after both of his parents had tragically died in an avalanche in the

Swiss Alps while skiing on their wedding anniversary. I met his grandfather, William, once during my visit to Blake’s flat in Mayfair when his grandfather decided to give him a surprise visit. He was charming and engaging. From the affectionate way they interacted, I knew they loved each other deeply. I was happy for Blake because, even though tragedy had struck him, he still had a loving family member to care for and support him unconditionally, unlike me. “I’ll have Eggs Benedict and a cappuccino, please.” I didn’t need to look over the menu. I knew what I wanted. “A woman with a hearty appetite. I like that.” I snorted and laughed. Ha! I’m sure you do. “What’s so funny?” “You.” He raised a brow, curious and waiting. “And?” I shrugged. “It’s just—you know—you only date models or ones that look it and I bet those types hardly eat or, if they do, simply nibble at their food. I’m sure,” I said sarcastically. Why does he date only women that look like that? I hadn’t pegged him to be a shallow man, but then again, I supposed his libido made the decisions. I truly was curious and wanted to know the truth, however I didn’t have the nerve to actually voice that question out loud.

“I do not!” I shrugged, not wanting to argue. After the waiter had come and taken our order, Blake had to go outside to take a business call. I was left to my own devices, so I pulled out my phone and texted Jen. I let her know that I had gotten back okay, that she shouldn’t worry about me and I would call her as soon as I got a chance. She was a good friend from back home and was one of the people in my support system. She was there with me when I saw Kyle with his new girlfriend. Thinking about that made my stomach churn and burn with acid. Fuck. The bitch gave me a smirk and held Kyle’s arm, looking at me with a scornful expression. I didn’t go back there to steal him from her. I just needed closure, but I’d gotten more than I had bargained for.

Three Saturday, Santa Monica, Katie’s Beach House Party (8 days ago)

“What’s your choice of poison?” The über hot bartender asked, wearing only surfer shorts and a garter bowtie to complete his ultra-surfer look. Hot might be understated, more like scrumptious. Exotic with caramel eyes and a to-die-for smile accompanied by perfect teeth. I giggled like a schoolgirl. “Um, I’d like a lemon drop and a…” I trailed off glancing at Jen. “What would you like to drink, Jen?” “I’ll have sex on the beach, babe,” she said with a wink. I’m sure she just wants that with a little sand and soft waves. Flirt. He started setting up our drinks as I pulled Jen next to me. She was still looking at the bartender through her eyelashes and I knew right then and there that she had already set her sights on him. “Jen, we just got here, can the flirting wait? I kind of need you to stick with me tonight. I sort of need armor, or more like a shield,” I said with an antsy smile and pleading tone. “Doll, you can’t be seriously hung up on Kyle still, are you?” Jen asked accusingly, her brows furrowed.

“Umm… well, I don’t know… I want to talk to him—” “What do you mean you don’t know? He cheated! You can’t second guess that, sweetie. He’s moved on, and from what I’ve heard, things have been getting steadily serious.” That did sound like a very good point. Steady and serious. Huh. Wow. How could he do this to me? To us? I wanted to scream and lash out at him, but it wouldn’t change what he’d done. I guess he didn’t want to wait; he wanted a change. I was hoping to catch him tonight and talk. I didn’t try calling his phone because I wanted to see his face. I needed this closure so I could bury the hatchet forever and never look back with regret. I needed a clean slate, no doubts hanging about in my semi-lucid brain. I knew he was going to show up; he always showed up at parties and I didn’t doubt that his ladylove would be with him, too. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter… just hang with me for a bit okay? I promise to take you for fro-yo tomorrow,” I said as I avoided her question. I couldn’t answer that myself at that moment. That had always been our go-to place; second to Starbucks. “Here you go, ladies! Enjoy!” purred the hot-tender. “Thanks,” we said, synchronized. “Okay, I’ll stick with you for a while, but not long. I don’t want

someone else snagging that nice piece of meat before I do! God, have you seen that tight body?” Jen delightfully noted, glancing back to the bartender before heading to the beach where some people we knew from high school were located. “I want to just drag him somewhere dark and see if those lips live up to my imagination! Do you think he’ll be into me?” I glanced at her like she had two horns on her head. “Have you gone mad, hon? You know you’re a knockout, right? Besides, he was totally checking you out.” Seriously, sometimes I thought she didn’t really know how beautiful she was. That part of Jen was the doing of a stupid, selfish ex-boyfriend who’d mentally and emotionally derided her and she totally succumbed to the douchebag’s manipulative ways because she had been blinded by love. In love or not, a person didn’t deserve to be treated like that. That type of abuse could take a long time to recover from. Had I known that in the beginning, I would’ve snatched her away from Tony. However, for three years she’d never said a word about any of it. From the outside, everything seemed undeniably perfect. Everyone had always thought they were perfect for each other. I did, too. I adored Tony. That’s why, when she confessed her dilemma, I took charge and let her stay with me until everything blew over and until Tony realized that she was serious about leaving

him. Our senior year, she started to blossom into her own person and had been loving life ever since. Most men I knew had a hard time resisting Jen when she was on the prowl—there was no chance in hell her chosen man could escape. Who would really want to resist someone who resembled Heidi Klum in the looks department? Apart from Jen having killer looks, she had a sharp mind and she was currently studying at USC to be a lawyer. She’d make a killing out of that one. “Jen! Sienna! Good of you beautiful ladies to grace us with your presence tonight!” “Mickey! I’ve missed you!” I laughed, giving him a huge hug and a peck on the cheek. Mickey’s the kind of guy who was always nice and respectful. He was second generation Samoan and had the size of one, too. He played defense on our football team at Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks. You’d never catch him talking crap about other people, though. He had never been that kind of jock. Jen and I adored Mickey, everyone did. “Nice to see you again, Jen!” Mick gave her a quick bear hug and released her with a grin. “You, too, Mick.” She jokingly punched his arm before she headed towards some other people we used to hang out with. I

casually waved at the group and continued to stick with Mick. I didn’t want to go over there and hangout. It would just invite questions and gossip about Kyle that I wasn’t ready to discuss. I scanned the area for any sightings of Kyle, but it seemed he had yet to arrive. I looked back at Mickey who seemed to be studying me with a twinkle in his eye. “Looking for someone in particular, Sienna?” Fishing, I see. “Huh? Oh, no. Just taking in the scene and seeing who else I know here. It feels good to be back home again, Mickey! I forgot how beautiful it was out here during summer time.” Indeed, it was a magnificent night. The full moon was up high and bright amidst the darkened sky. It was illuminating the ocean and making it look breathtakingly ethereal, serene and peaceful. The waves lapped softly on the shore and I felt calm inside, wishing Blake was here with me. He would have liked it. My trio of friends had offered to come, but I’d refused them. I needed to do this one on my own. “How are you?” I asked as I sat on the wooden lounger, glancing back to Mickey and enjoying my cold, alcoholic beverage. “Actually, a lot has been going on, man. I’m leaving for Alaska next week to help out my dad. He’s been feeling exhausted from running the business. So, it’s my turn to step-up and help the family,” he said solemnly.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mick. I recall you weren’t really fond of that place,” I said, empathizing with his situation. “Damn right, but I got to help the family out, so there’s no other option.” He took a chug of his Corona, studying the sand on his feet. There was someone hollering from behind me so I twisted my head to glimpse who the culprit was. Kyle was hugging and highfiving people along the way. His other right hand was attached to a very attractive blonde who was gazing and smiling lovingly at him. Perfect. Just bloody, fucking perfect. I felt awkward and anxious. Fuck. Should I go over and say hi? Maybe I should play indifferent? I castigated myself for being idiotic. Come on, Sienna, I scolded myself. Deep breaths and think of something relaxing. Crap-fuckity-crap. “’Kay there, doll?” Jen sat next to me with her arm loosely on my shoulder. “Course! Should we get more drinks?” Might as well get some encouragement from my old pal, The Don, Patron. “Oooo! Shots?! That should get us going!” “Hell, yeah!” “Bring on the happy face, doll. Don’t let him see anything else.” I nodded, not wanting to say anything else. She was right, of

course. We got up and headed back to the house. I knew we would be passing Kyle at any moment so I willed myself to play it cool and not take it too seriously. Who cares if we dated two gloriously fun-filled years? Really, who cares? Uh! I was getting idiotic after only one drink. “Hey, Jen! Sienna, you’re back,” greeted a merry-looking Kyle. “Hey there! Congratulations on your internship! I’m hearing that they’ll hire you before you even finish school,” Jen playfully said to Kyle. They got on so well back in the day, it was no wonder they were falling back into an easy banter. Kyle’s working with his father now. He loved music. He’d grown up with it, learning everything and anything music related from his father. His dad owned a major record label company here in LA so it was a no brainer that he’d be following in his dad’s footsteps. Most importantly, he loved to scour for musicians that had depth and soul in them in order to help them be successful in the music industry. He was quite passionate with his work and I remembered how he used to light up and get all excited when talking about it. “Ha ha! How I’ve missed your craziness!” Kyle said with his deep, playful laugh. God, I’ve missed that laugh. Here goes my

stupid brain. I looked like a complete idiot standing there next to Jen while they were catching up. His girlfriend, whom he hadn’t introduced yet, was curiously eyeing Jen and me. Did Kyle talk about me? Is that why she’s eyeing me up and down now? Hah. Bitch. Kyle turned his attention to me and his laughter died the minute our eyes met. His hazel eyes looked intense and fiery. His face looked calm, but I knew, deep down, he was mad. Damn, he looked gorgeous. A deep ache settled in my heart. I miss him. His white v-neck shirt outlined his defined torso and arms. My word, is he more buff and defined or what? My eyes roved all over him. Yes, he’s been working out . His body was a lean, muscular type; different from Blake’s physique, but still downright sexy. “How long are you here for? I didn’t expect you to be back for your break—would’ve thought you’d be traveling all over Europe or somewhere much more exotic rather than coming back here to plain, old Los Angeles,” he said cuttingly with barely hidden bitterness lacing his words. “Um, I’ve missed Jen and needed to tie up some loose ends with the conservatorship (outright lie) so, I decided to come back during break. It’s only two weeks anyway so I won’t be staying

long.” Shit, I sound so lame. Couldn’t I come up with something better to say? Sigh. Why was he being all cold, anyway? He was the one who broke-up with me. “Right, anyway ladies, I want you to meet my amazing girlfriend, Brooke,” he announced as he hooked his left arm around his amazing girlfriend. She had a huge, cat-like, fake smile and a massive rack. GAG. She looked fake, an absolute Blonde Bimbo. She was clingy, giggly and used a whiney voice like a little girl —it made me want to scratch the wall with my nails. I hated her already, and from the look of pure disdain she was giving me, the feeling was mutual. Since when was Kyle attracted to BB’s anyways? He’d always made fun of them. “Hey! Pleasure to meet you people—but we must go and mingle with others. Kyle? I see some of your friends are already in the tub. Let’s go! I can’t wait to get you wet, baby!” she said coaxingly as she grabbed his hand and left for the tub at lightning speed. Nice, she was amazing indeed. Not.

Four “Nice girlfriend there,” Jen remarked when Kyle and BB walked away. “Don’t mention it. I know you’re dying with questions, but let’s skip it tonight, okay?” I pleaded. The house was in full-on grinding, party mode as the speakers pounded, blaring “Birthday Cake” by Rihanna. “Hey! Why don’t you stay put and mingle with the eager men out here, hmm? I’ll go get us our drinks, lemon drop or a shot?” Jen suggested. I looked at Jen with a raised eyebrow. I knew she was going to go check out the hot-tender and have her wicked way with him, so I wasn’t going to trouble myself by getting in line for drinks. “How about both, please? I’m in dire need of them.” I winked at her as I fished out my phone from my purse and checked for messages. I got three emails from friends back home—Chad, Blake and from Lucy/Toby. From: Lucy Connelly Subject: Miss you! Be strong and don’t forget to enjoy! In case you forgot… you’re on vaca, too! See you when you get back!

WE love you, Lucy and Toby xxxxx

Lucy’s message made me smile. She liked to smother people with as much x’s as she could in her messages and I loved her for it. From: Chad Wilson Subject: Guess What! Baby girl! You would never guess! I just got a spot on a show! I’m so psyched! Couple of months away, though, but shit! This is crazy! How’s vacation? Call me the moment you land on Heathrow! I miss you, lover! Your ever sexy java-mamba friend, C xxx

Oh, Chad! I’m so happy for you! I couldn’t help getting excited for him. He was an artist—a photographer to be precise—and he was quite gifted. Finally! After a few months of being depressed, this was a very good opportunity for him. It was a competitive field out there and that show was going to be his big break! Opening my message from Blake, I suddenly felt warm knowing my friends were supporting me even if they weren’t

physically here. From: Blake Knightly Subject: Poppet Hanging in there, poppet? Make it short and quick. No need to linger with the bloody tosser! We still have a few episodes to catch up with Game of Thrones so you better bring your cute butt back home immediately! Or better yet—want me to come get you, Sienna? I’ll book the next flight out or I could use one of the company jets to fetch your tenacious self. Don’t doubt me because I bloody will drag you back to England, if I must. Two weeks without you or Toby (since he decided to permanently attach himself to Lucy’s side) has been uneventful to say the least. The break-up with Camille didn’t help much. The woman was painstakingly relentless wanting to move in with me. Got to dash, but don’t forget about my offer about coming back early! I’m only a text or phone call away. I miss you. P.S. MAKE YOUR TRIP SHORT! BK

Cute? My butt was anything other than cute! I got the junk to

back it up. How could he say it was just cute? Because he thinks you’re just cute—you’re just you, DUH? I should’ve been used to it with Blake, I mean, we’re friends, but as good-looking as he was, I wanted him to see the other side of me. Not the reliable, good friend side, but the attractive, sexy side of me, at least just once. But no, he has been impervious and treated me as nothing more than his buddy from his boarding school days. He and Camille broke-up? She wanted to move in with him after barely two months of dating? I could picture Blake’s reaction perfectly; mortified, racing for the hills. He abhorred it when he felt as if he was being trapped. He’d confessed as much when I had first met him; he was in a similar predicament at that time, too. Blake’s message was just so Blake; it was bossy and demanding with a tad of adorableness on the side. If it were from any other guy, I’d think that he couldn’t wait to have me back home and he was going ballistic from missing me. Sadly, though, it was from Blake. There was no hidden agenda there, plain and simple. I put my phone back in my clutch purse and swayed with the music, weaving my way to the dance floor. One thing was for sure; you could always count me in for dancing. I loved to immerse myself in the music and just make my

body speak as it moved to the beat. I danced when I was stressed out. I’d go to hip-hop classes or Zumba a few times a week in Hampstead. Chad managed the dance studio, and after closing time, we had our own little dance-off. It was our ritual and the bond that had brought us together. Closing my eyes, I was swaying my hips slowly to match the rhythm of the music when I felt someone grab my hand. I opened them slowly, disappointed that it wasn’t Kyle standing in front of me. I knew he was somewhere outside, possibly sucking face and swapping spit with his BB, but I couldn’t help it. I was home and being home simply made me want Kyle, badly. Maybe I’m nostalgic or maybe it’s because I haven’t been laid in what, like nine months? Who knows? “Hi! My name’s James. Dance with me?” he asked smoothly. Hmm, not bad looking. Quite decent actually. Not like Kyle, but decent enough and he seemed nice. “Sure, James.” I smiled at him as he twirled me around and my back landed on his chest. That was impressive. That man could dance. The DJ changed up the music to some Raggaeton song with Pitbull singing “Go Girl” and the tempo started to pick-up. Raggaeton music wasn’t for sensual dancing. It was more for showing your skills with popping your hips and being sexy. I separated myself from James and faced him. His eyes were

all over my body and that gave me ammunition to get down and dance more. “So…” “Sienna,” I offered. “Sienna. Where do you live? Somewhere close by?” “I did, but I’m on vacation. Home is London, for now.” I answered as my eyes scanned the crowd. The song ended and I found Jen across from me, watching us intently with our drinks in her hands. Walking up to her, she gushed out, “Goodness, Sienna Richards! You know everyone was checking you out, right? You looked… so, so hot dancing out there! I was even getting hot and bothered watching you two dance and that’s saying something! Was that to show someone that you still got your groove on? Hmmm?” I laughed. Oh Jen! How right you are. I shook my head in denial and smiled innocently. “And who might you be?” she asked James who had unknowingly followed me. Cute. “I’m James.” At about five-ten and well-muscled with dirty blonde hair that was spiked, he was the epitome of boyish good looks. “Where are you from?” Jen quipped. Knowing how she worked, she’d have him thoroughly grilled about his life in five minutes. We had always been protective of each other, so we

tended to do that with most men we met. Enthusiastically, I freed her hand of the Lemon Drop and took the tequila shot she was holding out to me as she commenced drilling. My, that burns. I welcomed the warm feeling it gave my body as I murmured “Thanks.” She didn’t seem to hear me, though, because she was still busy talking to James. I, on the other hand, was busy scanning the room to see a familiar face. Okay, I was guilty. I wanted to see more of Kyle and what he was up to, but he was nowhere to be seen. I just couldn’t believe he was being cold and indifferent towards me. What was that whole introduction scene with Brook, anyway? If he’d wanted me to think that he had moved on and was happier, then he’d definitely succeeded in getting his message across. I decided right then and there that I wouldn’t think about him anymore. Maybe this whole trip for getting closure from Kyle was merely stupid and irreparable. I couldn’t torture myself with the thoughts of him with his girlfriend, kissing and groping each other somewhere in a dark corner outside. All I had to do was endure the night and move on, but for the mean time, I had to hold my head high, even if I was anguished with my heart gutted and intestines twisted inside out. Or I could possibly take Blake’s offer. I could drown my sorrows happily simply by staring at him. Was this jealousy I felt? Or was it merely an indication that I was still in love

with Kyle? I love him. I’ve loved him all my life, but in love with him? I wasn’t so sure anymore. I mean, if I was dangerously in love with him, then I wouldn’t have left him behind to go to England, surely? I would have found a way to still be next to him or simply endured being miserable in Los Angeles if it meant being with him. I missed him and I was mad that he’d ended our friendship like that. I wanted to salvage our friendship, if nothing else. Before I’d left home, I had made that whole spiel of loving him, but I felt that I needed freedom. I desperately sought change, away from my horridly miserable past with my extended family and the memory of my dad. Would I want him back if he begged me? I don’t know. My mind couldn’t process the possibility of us getting back together when it was blatantly apparent that he was in a happy, satisfying relationship. Kyle took it badly when he learned of my plan. Of course, he was crazy about me. We were inseparable then. We’d even finished each other’s sentences. We were happy together, but my soul needed something more, to feel free. Free from memories of my past. So, my announcement to go to school in England was a surprise to everybody—most of all to Kyle. He didn’t speak to me

for days. He felt betrayed and implied I was giving up on us, our relationship. Distraught and wounded, he stuck it out until I left for school, showing me how much he loved me. Those few weeks before my departure were bittersweet. I remembered having a hard time letting him go at the airport, clutching and hugging him so fiercely. The memories brought a melancholy sigh and my attention back to reality. “Well it was great to meet you, James,” Jen said politely. I was still reeling from my nostalgic flood of flashbacks, swamped with the thoughts of what might’ve been. My mind shuffled back to the past and had lost track that I was here, in the middle of a damn party. “Doll, can I speak to you for a sec?” Jen grabbed my hand and dragged me to a corner. “Sure, be back in a sec, James.” I gave him one of my meltyour-bones smiles for effect. It seemed to work from the look he gave me. I needed a diversion and the unfortunate victim was James. I needed to gather my bearings before I went ballistic with roaring jealousy and did something drastic to get Kyle’s attention, like going up to him and giving him a kiss that was extraordinarily scorching to the point that it would haunt him forever. So, I needed James tonight, for my sanity’s sake. “Hey! What’s up?” I questioned her with an arched brow,

knowing full well what she wanted to speak to me about. “I’m going to leave the party with Ethan. He’s off and another person is taking the shift, so we decided to go grab something to eat somewhere. Will you be okay if I leave and you catch a ride with Mickey or something? If you can’t catch a ride, call me and I’ll come get you.” “I take it Ethan’s the hot-tender, right? Jen, seriously, go have fun. Don’t worry about me. I have only two weeks to party and then back to school again, so I’ll be okay. Go enjoy yourself! I’ll see you tomorrow for catch-up and fro-yo, kay?” I hugged her and kissed her blushing cheek. It really bothered her leaving me here, but she wasn’t my sitter. As much as I loved hanging out with Jen, she needed to enjoy and meet people. I wanted her to be happy, especially after Tony. “Have fun, doll.” I gave her a huge grin. “Will do! All right, catch up with you tom’! And be safe, ‘kay? Call me if you need me, anytime.” “See you!” I shooed her away and went back to James who had been watching my interaction with Jen with hawk-like intensity. “Did anybody tell you how gorgeous and sexy you are?” His dark eyes traveled all over me like I was a piece of candy to be savored. “Are you just saying anything to get laid tonight? Because let me tell you, your line was way off the finishing line!” I instantly

quipped back. Ha! This is a merry-go-round play date buddy— nothing more, I thought. The last time I had sex, or any intimacy for that matter, was with Kyle. It was not that I didn’t find anyone attractive in London —apart from crushing on Blake, but that was beside the point. He was nothing more than a friend. I had gone to a lot of house parties and met quite a few interesting and attractive men, but not one who’d given me the I-can’t-breathe-and-think-around-you feeling. Maybe if I’d put myself out there instead of cutting them off before they could even speak it would make a vast difference. I should probably take up Lucy’s offer of blind dates, just to dip my toes into the dating world. Snapping back to reality, I gulped down the rest of my drink and placed it on the table next to me. The alcohol I had consumed was a potent mixture of vodka and tequila. A lethal combination, but it was the prerequisite of a person who was dealing with an emotional upheaval. “Come on, James. Dance with me,” I said invitingly. The music blared, making my feet itch to move on the dance floor and let loose, my body speaking through the art of dancing. We were setting our rhythm as I danced against him, my back touching his chest. I let out a sigh. Where was Kyle? I thought sadly. Stupid girl! Just let it go already, I scolded myself. The

dance was getting intense and James was gripping both of my hips, grinding and swaying slowly. I honestly didn’t care because I wanted to forget, even if for only a few minutes. Then I’d go look for Mickey and ask him for a ride back to Jen’s apartment. James was getting quite comfortable. So comfortable in fact that he was moving his hands up and down the sides of my stomach. “You’re so hot. I want you,” he whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Right, not going there buddy. I was just using him temporarily for dancing, nothing more. Am I a tease? Yes, definitely. Do I feel guilty about it? No, not really. I closed my eyes again, feeling the beat and the alcohol seeping its way through my body. I felt relaxed and smiled, rocking the smashing beat with James. He was actually a descent dancer. I felt his lips kiss my exposed shoulder, softly working towards my neck. His hot breath gave me a shudder. “James, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Out of nowhere, someone yanked my right arm and dragged me away so quickly that my head spun. I barely got a chance to catch my breath. Everything was a blur—from the dance floor, passing the living room and up the stairs. Stumbling halfway up, I yelped from the tight hold on my arm. I tried to detach his fingers, but he was too strong. His fingers sunk deeper in my flesh, gripping

it harder. Sudden fear washed over my entire body. It was too dark, no light coming from the hallway or bedroom doors. How am I supposed to take charge and free myself if I can’t see my attacker? I freaked and told myself to calm down and breathe. Breathe. Think rationally, you can do this, Sienna. I was trying to get a handle on the situation and where the person was taking me. It was so dark, but it seemed like my abductor knew where he was going. The floorboards made a squeaking sound and the person holding my arm quickly turned around. Whooshing air swept by and there was an overpowering smell. A smell I knew so well that it made my throat constrict with familiarity. Kyle. What the fuck?!

Five “Excuse me! Where the hell do you think you’re taking me! How dare you, Kyle!” Unleashed fury roared off me. How dare he manhandle me like that! He opened a door and brashly shoved me inside with him. I quickly scanned the room. It was dark, but it was illuminated with the glowing light of the moon from the bay window. The room was quite large, but uninhabited, a guest room perhaps. I slowly glanced back and found Kyle looking down at me, furious to a point which I had never seen him before. My heart slammed wildly against my chest. “Are you trying to embarrass yourself, Sienna!” he raged at me, face thunderous with seething anger. “Are you trying to prove something?” He glared and spit fire. “Are you trying to prove that you’re a big girl, now? Taking offers and sampling men to your liking?” Kyle was accusing and livid. “Excuse me? I was dancing with James! Mind your own fucking business and go back to your amazing girlfriend!” I screamed like a banshee at him. “And if I am taking offers and sampling them, it’s my goddamned business. Now, leave me the FUCK alone!” I yelled with barely suppressed rage. How dare he? After how he had been cold towards me all night, without even

a backward glance, and now he gives me this blasted brutish treatment? Seriously? I was done dealing with that crap; I was going home, back to London. I tried to grab the handle of the door, but he quickly caught my hand and swiftly placed me on the wall next to the door. Both of his hands landed securely on either side of my head so I was imprisoned and had no chance in hell of escaping. I stared at him, wide-eyed and reeling. Not only was I shocked at his attitude and his chauvinistic demeanor, but I was more surprised that he had even bothered to. “Are you fucking drunk, Kyle?” I asked him angrily. “Did you not hear what I just said?” He simply kept staring at me like he wasn’t even listening to my questions. He moved closer, his eyes burning into me. I could smell him, his smell that I used to adore so much. The smell that reminded me of long nights sleeping in the nook of his neck. Being that close to him tested me to the hilt and drove me insane with acute lust. I was becoming nostalgic with pure longing. His molten eyes roved all over my body, reacquainting himself with it. They stopped on my lips and his eyes darkened. My heartbeat quickened, my breathing shallowed. My body quivered from his close scrutiny. Goose bumps covered my body as my nipples tightened and my stomach had butterflies flying about.

Damn him. His gaze was too powerful and like prey, I was hypnotized and captivated by him; by his closeness, by that sudden reminder that he was my first love, my first everything. I closed my eyes and tried my damnedest to steady the wild beating of my heart. His thumb traced my full, bottom lip slowly like he was trying to ingrain it in his memory. The moment his thumb grazed my skin, I was enthralled. “Sienna,” he said my name in a whisper that was full of pain and hunger. My heart twisted. I slowly opened my eyes and was tormented by the look in his. He wanted me. His desire was emanating from him; from every pore in his body. I knew that look so well. I suddenly had the urge to touch his chest, to feel his heat—his warmth—but I willed myself against it. I wet my lips slowly with uncertainty and swallowed. I was having a hard time breathing. All I could hear was my heart pounding incredibly loud against my ribcage as I anticipated Kyle’s touch. He would touch. That look said it all. He would devour me with no concession. I stared at this man before me, wide-eyed and waiting, waiting for him to make a move… Can I let this happen? There was hardly any option of backing out. He was here for a reason, a man

on a mission who would give no room for negotiation. Oh, hell! I’m going to be in big trouble. He lowered his head to kiss me, softly at first, like he was trying to gauge my reaction, see if I would respond. I certainly did. I kissed him back, matching his pace as I was fighting all sorts of sensations inside of me. A tidal wave of emotion rolled off me; from missing him to the angst of seeing him with a new girlfriend, amongst other things. All bottled in together once as I kissed him. My lips demanded just as fervently as his, like we couldn’t get enough of each other. The titillating hunger was demanding his full attention, driving us both in a magical, wanton spell. His signature smell enveloped me and I surrendered to the madness of lust and want. He groaned as my fingers touched his hair and slowly traced his back, all the way down to his ass, cupping it hard with greedy hands and pushing him hard against me. The friction was palpable. We both groaned at once. Yes, I definitely want this. How I’ve missed this man. I opened both of my legs wider to accommodate him better, riding my miniscule skirt up higher, flashing my magenta lace thong. I couldn’t stop holding him firmly and tightly by his ass, pushing him hastily and fervently against me to be nestled on my hot core. We

both groaned in unison. His soft kisses trailed down my neck slowly; he licked and nipped it. Writhing and panting against his hot body, I lost myself in the overwhelming, all-consuming need to be possessed. His hand skillfully loosened my top, kissing his way to my very aroused and very erect nipples. He found one and playfully bit it. I whimpered from the pure ecstasy that was taking me to a whole different sphere of being. I was already horny, but that drove me over the edge of the precipice and straight into a state of absolutely wanton desire. My thong was soaked as I rubbed myself with a driven mission over his jeans that showed his bulging erection. God, he feels wonderful. Fuck. “Can I take you baby?” he asked in a raspy, sexy voice, panting with the need to consume me. It was full of promise, full of wicked urgency. Of course, that was the old Kyle, my Kyle. “Yes—yes.” I was already out of breath. “Please hurry, I—” He didn’t even let me finish before I heard him groan as he touched my thighs slowly, finding his way to the edge of my thong. Thank god I had just had a Brazilian wax a couple of days ago, I thought to myself. He slid my thong to the side and I felt him playing with my

folds, gently torturing me as he teased them by making chaste, rhythmic circles around my sensitized mound. “Take me!” I commanded. I couldn’t focus on anything other than the throbbing, suppressed ache inside of me. “Did you miss me, Sienna?” he whispered hoarsely in my ear. His hot breath sent tingles all the way down to my very wet opening. I opened my eyes and looked him straight in his. “Yes.” I halted as he stuck a finger inside me, twirling and twisting it, hooking it in the upper wall of my slick channel. He frantically moved his fingers against my clit, flicking it up and down in a fast rhythm. “Oh, my God” I yelped. Yes! I chanted in my head. I grabbed his bulging cock and started to rub it hard before taking charge of his pants, swiftly opening the button and pulling his zipper down. His pants were pooling around his knees and I tugged his boxer briefs south, on top of his pants. I eyed him, man he’s aroused. I gently cupped his balls with my left hand, squeezing them as I delightfully moved my right-hand up and down his cock, twirling his erection with voracious determination. I was in such a delicious state of sexual euphoria, and I couldn’t seem to hold it back, for much longer. Nine months of celibacy made me desperate for him. “Kyle, please… FUCK ME,” I pleaded.

“Not yet, baby” Our foreheads joined together as we panted hard. His thick, rock-hard cock had a small drop of juice that was enticingly sitting on the head of his enormous manhood. I hastily licked my dry lips as I greedily eyed it. It was just waiting for my attention. If he thought torturing me would work, then I would give him the same satisfaction. I slightly bent over again and licked that sweet juice off oh-so-slowly and at the same time, watched his face through my lashes with a pure fervor born of lust. Hovering over his cock, I sucked the head with just enough pressure to get all of his sweet, moist essence out, tasting more of his manhood as though it was nirvana. His face almost combusted with desire and he was beyond turned on. He seriously looked like a savage animal ready to pounce. He took his fingers out and spread me against the wall. He kneeled down just above my throbbing pussy and hooked one of my legs over his shoulder as he opened my other leg wider. Licking my outer lips with his hot-teasing tongue while nipping and sucking, I buckled and threw my head back from the sensations racking through my body. He quickly grabbed my hips and hooked my legs around his body as he pulled me down to the large bed. My dark mane of hair splayed everywhere. My top and skirt sat on my stomach, open

and ready to be ravished. My thong was still lopsided from his drastic invasion and I was still wearing my cowboy boots He loomed over me; his eyes intensely flickering to my nipples and wide opened legs. He pulled on his dick and started to stroke it, hard; big hands squeezing and stroking as I watched in fascination. He took my boots off and pulled down my thong. “You’re beautiful, Sienna.” Our eyes locked as he gently rubbed me with his pulsating head, ready to combust. He teased and probed—driving me insane. I whimpered as I anticipated the feel of him inside me. He paused, his cock just a mere centimeter from my soaked entrance. “Has there been anyone else? I know I was your first, but that could’ve changed since we broke up, so was there anyone else?” His face was passive as he waited for me to reply. I shook my head. “No, no one.” His smile was predatory and victorious, eyes gleaming. He slowly entered me and pulled out almost immediately. “Baby, you feel like a virgin! I love it that your pussy’s like this. Best fucking pussy I’ve ever had.” I looked at him as he was watching our bodies joining together. He was staring down candidly as his cock slid cautiously into my tightened core. He seemed to cherish the idea of being the only man I had ever had sex with. He groaned like a caveman as he shoved

his dick inside me, thrusting hard with no inhibition or restraint. My vagina’s walls immediately enveloped him, accommodating his size. “You’re mine! All mine!” he growled like an animal. “I love how you feel… so silky, wet, and fucking tight. I’ve been constantly thinking about when I can have you over and over. I can’t get you out of my head. When I saw you tonight, I couldn’t help myself… I needed to have a taste of whatever you could give me. I needed to be inside you or I was going to go insane.” He sounded raw with want as he picked up the pace and held my hips tighter. My legs were wrapped around his hips in an angle where it hit the spot, taking him deeper inside me. Thrusting harder, filling me, stretching me, taking as much as he could with no restraint. His penis was undeniably stretching me to its capacity. I couldn’t deny him that. I couldn’t deny us both. Sex with Kyle had always been this good when we were together. So, it was hardly a surprise that we couldn’t help ourselves. I felt my body and pussy tighten around him, building up slowly for an orgasm. The friction was more intense, fervent and exquisite. I was almost at the tipping point and then I felt my body convulse around him as my climax came to a close. I held his shoulders, digging my fingers in and screaming hard as I came. Kyle held my hips harder and placed his lips on my neck as he fucked me hard with building intensity, his orgasm trailing close

behind my own. He screamed my name against my lips, “Sienna, I love you. It’s always been you.” He then spilled his seed inside me with one hard thrust of his hips. Thank God I had continued taking the pill.

Six We held each other, panting and disoriented. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what had just happened and how I could walk away from the situation without having my pride and heart trampled over. Deep breaths. He said he loved me. He still loves me. I had so many questions I needed to ask him, but I couldn’t seem to find the strength or the wherewithal to look him in the eye. I might’ve deluded myself that this was over... Could it be possible that it was one of those you-don’t-realize-what-you-have-untilyou’ve-lost-it types of things? I groaned. I really am in the shitter. I slowly opened my eyes and drank him in. His hair and clothes were all disheveled and his eyes seemed to be raging something from deep within. He got up and started to get dressed without even giving me a glance. Thinking about the fact that whatever comeuppance this situation brought, I had played a major part in it so I should hold my head high and act like the mature person that I am. I sighed. “Kyle,” I whispered. He was staring at the window, his back towards me like he was trying to gather his thoughts. Distant and unreachable. Why isn’t he talking?

I straightened up my clothes and tried my best to fix my hair with my shaky fingers. I was nervous and anxious. I didn’t ask for this, yet I couldn’t stop or deny myself the opportunity to have him again. Even if it was for the last time. Wanting him and for him to want me, it was just all too much and yet it was something I couldn’t just walk away from. Oh, damn it to hell and back. “Kyle, say something!” I croaked. Still no response. What in God’s name was he playing at? “Oh! I get it! You just needed to get one last fuck out of your system and now you can just walk away! That’s it, isn’t it?” The feeling of being used was something I had never encountered before and that feeling didn’t sit well with me, especially when the person in question was Kyle. He moved against the window and the moonlight shadowed behind him, making him appear like he was some sort of dark angel, breathtaking to look at. This fallen angel was staring back at me with a blank expression. It gave me an idea of what was to come and for the first time, I was at a loss for words.

Seven Kyle

God, she’s gorgeous! Even in her bedraggled state from our crazy romping, she still had the ability to take my breath away by just standing there, demanding my attention. Her skirt was twisted to the other side and not properly fixed. Her lips were red and swollen from our lovemaking, her hair disheveled and those beautiful crystal green/gold eyes flashed at me, immobilizing me on the spot from her sheer beauty. She didn’t have any clue how she affected me by just one look. She had that power over me. She had that effect on most men, but she didn’t see it. I knew, though, and saw how men wanted to possess her; her beauty, her body, her beautiful heart. She was next to perfection. She was also mine. How did I even manage to convince myself that I could be at the same party with her and not feel this? Savagely, I cursed my stupidity. She had always possessed power over me. No one had the capacity to drive me up the wall like Sienna could. When she was still here, she was it for me and yet she still walked away. I wasn’t enough for her; never would be. I have to harden my resolve for my sanity’s sake. God, this is difficult! My throat ran dry as thoughts ran through scenes from a

few minutes ago, vividly. How she looked lying there, waiting with desire—all for me. All mine and mine alone. Not any longer. She would eventually find someone; it wouldn’t be hard. I bet there’s already a line waiting. The idea of another man possessing her brought ferocious feelings out of me. It was jealousy eating me alive. I couldn’t go there. Not tonight. “Sienna, I’m not going to apologize for this. Seeing you again made it impossible to resist you. I remembered us being good together and I just couldn’t seem to help myself… I had to have you—” “So that was merely a one-time thing then?” she cut me off in a shaky voice. Her beautiful eyes were rimmed with unshed tears. How I wanted to possess that woman. My heart ached. I hated seeing her hurt, but I couldn’t let her get to me. I barely survived when she left the last time. I couldn’t go there again. Steeling my resolve, I answered, “Yes, it is… it was. I’m with Brooke—” She didn’t even let me finish before she started yelling. “That’s fucking convenient! You had sex with me without a second thought to your girlfriend and now, after you’ve gotten what you wanted, you’re in a relationship again!” her voice screeched. Sienna was beside herself.

Man, she looked even hotter when she was furious. I wanted to take her again, right against the wall. I’m going crazy, I knew I was, but I truly wanted to reach out and kiss those pouty, swollen lips of hers senseless, for the last time. Just a little taste of her once more before walking away. I hate feeling like this. This uncontrollable passion I have with her. I feel powerless against it. I have to get out of here—fast—before I start kissing her and fucking up more. Leave, now! I had to calm myself before responding to her accusing tone. “I didn’t use you. I asked you if it was okay before things got way too heated and you told me it was fine,” I countered. I wanted to be friends with her, but it was impossible for me. That’s asking too much of myself, however I didn’t want any hard feelings, either. “Hey, we’ll talk this over when we’re sober and calmed down. I’ll come see you in a couple of days. How about we—” She held her hands up in exasperation. “You know what?! This was a stupid mistake! I thought for a second there that… that you might feel something… or it meant that you still… you know what? It doesn’t matter what I think! Let’s forget this ever happened, ‘kay? Please, don’t try to contact me because I don’t want to see or hear from you ever again!” she said with finality before she walked out the door.

Out of my life. Again. Hell, Sienna!!!

Eight Sienna London, present

“Sorry about that. I didn’t leave you too long, did I?” A concerned look was etched on his face as he waited for me to respond to his question. “No, it’s fine. Stop worrying, Blake.” I smiled at him. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a worrywart sometimes?” Sipping his coffee as he gazed at me, Blake waited a beat before speaking. “Yes, you’ve often told me.” “It’s true. You’ve got to channel stress into something productive like boxing, perhaps?” I teased him. “Sure, as long as you join me because then we can kick ass together,” he jested back. Uh, not a good idea! I might just get turned on watching him; sweaty and full of angst. “No thanks, I let out my frustration through dancing.” I gave him a smug look. “Anyhow, what the hell happened between you and Camille?” I asked, using my casual tone. I was curious. I was always curious when it came to his girlfriends. Sometimes he was forthcoming with the dirt and sometimes he was tight-lipped. Twirling his coffee cup, he studied it with the utmost concentration before he spoke. “As I said before, she wanted to

move in with me. She was getting demanding, jealous and paranoid. It was nothing permanent and she knew it, still she pushed. So, I had no choice except to let her go.” “I really believed you guys were going to last longer than two months. I mean, you looked perfect together. Are you okay, though? I know for a fact that break-ups are nasty and never easy.” I continued on when I didn’t get a reply, “So, she was jealous, huh? Were you entertaining and catering to your other girlfriends, Blake?” I gave him a you’re-such-a naughty-boy look because he surely was. His throaty laugh filled the air. “Oh, Sienna, sometimes you’re just too adorable. To answer your question, no, I wasn’t getting my groove on and screwing other women. Honestly, she was jealous of my relationship with you. She thought we spent a lot of time together and that I was crazy about you. I assured her that we were friends, nothing more, and the mere fact that you were with Kyle didn’t convince her troubled mind. Cam was convinced that once Kyle was out of the equation that I would step in and have you all to myself.” Leaning back and still playing with his coffee cup, his eyes were steady and pensive while studying my reaction. I laughed—hard—and almost ran out of air. That’s the funniest story I’ve heard, I thought. Was Camille high on drugs? Had she looked in the mirror lately? She was stunning. Where did

she cook up ideas like that? Blake didn’t go for women like me. If he’d wanted to, he had plenty of chances over the last eight months, but he’d never tried anything that would imply that he was interested at all. So, she was being silly over nothing. “Finding my story funny, Sienna?” He was still watching me intently, his voice steady and calm. He could be so intense sometimes that it made my heart skitter. “Yes, I mean, come on! That was stupid of her! Why would she be jealous of me? Look at her and look at me. She’s like the epitome of perfection. Besides, the idea of us? We’ll never work. I mean, we like the same things, but we’re different. You’re like mega rich and soon you’ll be running the world with just a bat of your eyelashes and I’ll be, you know, the same. Normal.” My voice got small in the end. I bit my bottom lip until all the blood drained. The idea of Blake—us—bothered me. We were worlds apart. Everyone could see that. So why do I wish that weren’t true? He was still and unmoving, his lips in a straight line, pensive. What’s he thinking now? However he didn’t have the chance to make a reply to my tirade because our food arrived and we fell silent as we worked on our plates, lost in thought. The food was excellent and I was happy to oblige my grumbling stomach.

“Mmm, this is definitely divine,” I said as I bit into a piece of bacon, savoring every taste as I closed my eyes. “Certainly looks like it,” Blake murmured, locking his eyes on me as he took a bite of his toast. Shrugging, I set aside my dish after I’d devoured every bite with pure gusto. I worked on my coffee next; I needed something to do besides looking at his magnetizing eyes. Uncomfortable was not the word I would use to describe it. Breathless would possibly be fitting, though. After what seemed like five minutes, he threw down a hundred pounds on the table and asked, “Ready?” “Not really, but guess I have to see what’s in store now, don’t I?” I stood up and pretended to be petulant. “You’ll just have to wait and see, my impatient one.” ~S~

“Notting Hill?” “Yes, our next stop to your easing-up-the-pain strategy.” Blake smirked when he said easing. Ha. I would rather forget that embarrassing incident in the car right before breakfast. He parked the car, got out and opened the car door for me. I smiled. “Hummingbird Bakery?” I gleefully asked. “As you wish, milady,” he said with a little bow. That gesture

put me in mild hysterics. He had a good sense of humor. That was why we were friends. We could act silly and have fun; it was easy. Grabbing my hand and pulling me next to him, we strolled along, passing clothing boutiques and antique places. Notting Hill was a gem. They had a lot of funky, trendy stores and just about any knick-knack you could ever imagine. It was awesome! We made our way to Hummingbird Bakery that made these delicious, mouth-watering cupcakes. Each perfect bite was sheer bliss. Still holding hands, he guided me inside the shop. We had found the bakery simply by walking around on a Sunday afternoon and we’d both fell in love with it; each liking to indulge our sweet tooth. So, once in a while, we would come here to indulge. Though, on special occasions—like when it was that time of the month for me—he brought me a box of cupcakes to cheer me up. How thoughtful was that? Ogling those beautifully decorated, earth-shattering pieces of ambrosia with yearning eyes, my mouth salivated. Blake ordered red-velvet and chocolate chip cupcakes to be eaten outside on the patio as well as a dozen more to take home. Oh, yum! You see how intuitive he is? Ha! “Let me pay for this one,” I demanded. He gave me a shut-thehell-up look.

I huffed and turned around as he paid for the cupcakes. It was always like that with Blake and Toby. They would get offended if you offered to pay. Some men would gladly appreciate the offer. Some men expected women to pay half of everything, but those two still believed that they had to take care of the ladies. They felt insulted if I asked. I found a table for two and waited for my cupcakes to arrive. Sitting, I basked in the warmth of the sunshine hitting my face. Life isn’t so bad when you have cupcakes, I mused. “Here we are!” he announced as he placed two of my favorite cupcakes in front of me and cut the cupcakes in quarters. We had a ritual because we both loved these flavors, we agreed to a compromise, eating them half and half. It was kind of cute. He took a piece of red-velvet and fed me. I opened my mouth, closed my eyes and savored the flavor. I was a passionate person, especially when it came to food. “Mmm, yes!” I purred in satisfaction. He laughed. “I knew you wouldn’t be mad for long.” He gave me his god-like smile again, placing his ray-bans atop his wavy hair. I looked away. He looked too tempting and when he smiled like that, I had this urge to stare and worship him. It was very disconcerting to feel that way sometimes and it caught me off guard. He was a great friend and a flirt, but a great friend nonetheless.

So, when he acted a certain way—holding my hand and smiling at me like I was the only person in the world that mattered—it confused the shit out of me. My phone beeped so I took it out of my purse and checked the message. Kyle. Heart-thudding, I opened the message.

Nine From: Kyle Matthews Subject: Miss you I went over to Jen’s to check if u were there last night and found out u went back to London. Why? Did u leave ’coz of me? Wanted to speak to you. WE HAVE TO TALK about what happened. About us. Call me. Seeing u again made me realize how much u mean to me, Sienna. I’ll be waiting for your call. I miss u, Kyle

Shit. How do I reply to that? He sounded guilty as hell. Well, he should be after he treated me crassly with no thought to my feelings. He just took what he wanted and my feelings, again, were pushed aside. “Sienna, what is it?” I turned off the screen, slid my phone back into my purse and sighed heavily. “Kyle… he wants to talk.” “Are you going to?” He looked at me, pensive, unreadable. “No, I’m not giving that jerk the satisfaction,” I said with decisiveness and a clear voice. I had made up my mind. As much as it killed me to admit, I was still hurting. What hurt more was the fact that he dated her a month before

breaking it off with me. He didn’t even have the decency to end things before saddling himself up to someone else. To put icing on the cake, he had sex with me and still went back to her. Now he had decided that he wanted to talk? The nerve! “What’s up next?” I asked, studying his unreadable expression. He grabbed my hand and played with the inside of my palm with his middle finger; in slow, agonizing, fever-inducing, rhythmic circles. He was touching me a lot today. He never used to, I mean, apart from the usual greeting of kisses, hugs and nudges here and there; nothing as personal as this, though. I was afraid to ask him about it, so I pretended it didn’t bother me, as if we did this all the time. “It’s a surprise, poppet. I’m sure you will figure it out soon enough.” Getting up and hooking my left arm around his, we strolled back to where his car was parked. Walking at a leisurely pace, my thoughts raced back to Kyle. Was it cold of me not to bother replying to his email? We had been through a lot and I considered him family. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad died when I was seven. From what I could recall of my dad, he was a loving man, giving, and he adored me. He used to talk about Mom all the time and how they had loved me from the moment they discovered she was pregnant. Dad had a heart attack. No one saw it coming; it was abrupt

and swift. All of a sudden, I was alone. I remember the conservator consoling and assuring me that my father was a wise man, that he had invested the insurance he got from my mother’s death shrewdly. He even added that there was more coming from my dad’s insurance policy, amongst other investments he delved in. My dad made sure I had a college fund on top of everything else. He basically thought it out accordingly, just in case he died. I received a partial amount of his Social Security money to tide me over until I turned eighteen; the legal age when I took over my own spending and could handle all my finances. At the time, though, I could have cared less about money because all I wanted was my dad back. My father’s sister, Christy, took me in. She had a husband, Dan, and a daughter a year older than me, Caroline. It was hell living in the Brown’s household. I was the interloper who basically ruined their neat, consistent lives. When I met Kyle—the boy next door—he became my solace, my protector and my friend. His mother was always kind and loving to me, baking cakes and pastries that I enjoyed through the years. I had grown to depend on Kyle, and leaving Los Angeles had torn me apart; but I had to leave home. I needed to get away; to have a new life, a second chance to erase all the memories of what I’d endured living with the Browns. As a result, he was hurt, but

supportive about my decision; or so I’d thought. My father had indeed made sure that I was well provided for. The money I had gotten from him on my eighteenth birthday was substantial. I don’t need to work if I don’t want to, but I have other plans. I want to become successful on my own and thrive in the marketing industry. ~S~

Leaning back against the cool leather seat, I exhaled. Boy, I’m exhausted. Driving around town seriously took a toll on my jetlagged condition. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head, the sounds of Moonlight Sonata in cello relaxing me into slumber as he squeezed my thigh. “Don’t drift off yet. I promise you can sleep when we get to our destination, all right?” Blake glanced at me with a hint of a smile. He took ahold of my hand and placed it on his lap; overwhelming me with weird emotions. I turned sideways to look at him. With his shades on, he looked like a sexy man from a car commercial, only a tad bit more good looking. He resembles Gaspard Ulliel or Christiano Ronaldo; that’s how deadly he looked. The Latin coloring and charm contributed from his Italian mother combined with when he spoke Italian… total, major turn on. His eyes were another dynamic

aspect that contributed to that killer look. Blake had the most unusual eyes; midnight blue, rimmed in silver with flecks of scattered gold in the middle. When he was angry, his eyes turned almost black; making those scattered gold flecks stand out. It was like staring at the Milky Way galaxy as it sucked you in until you were lost in them. It was spellbinding and disconcerting at the same time. “Are you done checking me out, Sienna?” He gave me a sideways glance before diverting his eyes back to the traffic ahead. Busted. “Not yet, just give me a few more minutes; I’m sure by then I will have memorized all your flaws,” I quipped back. I was a tad mortified that he’d caught me staring wide-eyed at him. “Are we almost there?” I drastically needed to change the subject back to safer ground. “Yes, a few minutes or so then you can sleep, my sweet; just as long as you promise not to snore.” He smiled tenderly at my horrified expression. “Ha! I do not snore!” I pinched his leg. “Ow,” Blake yelped, but had his god-like smile in check—dreamy was the more appropriate term for that smile. I hated it that he had a way of disarming me with that smile. As promised, after a few minutes we arrived at our destination; an upscale hotel in Knightsbridge. Getting out of the sexy Aston

Martin, he handed the car keys to the valet attendant and tended to me. With a hand on my back, he gently guided me to the hotel spa. “Aw, how you read my mind, Knightly! Thank you! Thank you!” “I hope this will make up for all the energy you invested with me since this morning. Come.” Like I wouldn’t forgive him? Blake held the door and we stepped inside the reception area which was a white and glass combination, giving a chic, clean-cut effect. “Mr. Knightly, welcome back!” greeted the auburn haired, blue-eyed, svelte lady with a flirty smile. “Krista, hello! How are you?” Blake said, acting polite yet distant. “I’m very good, Mr. Blake.” Krista gazed back through her lashes, quite suggestively. With a few taps on her keyboard, she spoke again, “Okay, your room is ready. Olga will show you to it.” I caught her wink at him and bite her bottom lip. I almost grunted out loud from her obnoxious, flirty attitude. Disgusting much? Jesus. Olga appeared almost immediately and politely showed us to our reserved room and I couldn’t have run out of there fast enough. My massage haven awaited.

Ten The moment I walked in, I felt like I had walked onto a set of the Arabian Nights. The room had an oval-shaped pool that was decorated with rose petals. Further to the left stood a colorful silk tent with beaded throw pillows and kaftan rugs. Plus, there were large, glass bowl-stands with petals and floating candles embellishing the room. The masseuse tables, situated at the edge of the tent, sat about ten feet from a lightly-lit fireplace. The strategically placed scented candles made the ambiance intimate, seductive and downright romantic. The room smelled of romance, a mixture of roses and berries with hinted notes of vanilla. I was guided to the ‘his and hers’ changing rooms, where it was requested that I wear this skimpy, barely there thong. I smirked. Great, how the heck will I ever be comfortable lying next to Blake almost naked? If I could relax, I was going to doze off the minute those powerful hands started kneading my back; I was sure of it. Is romance what Blake has in mind? Is it possible? Why would he book a suite? He could’ve gotten separate rooms, but he didn’t. So, if it is, am I ready to date him? I was and I wasn’t. I had just gotten out of being with Kyle and I was sure as hell was

not emotionally ready for someone as intense as Blake. That was like taking on Hurricane Katrina. Besides, he didn’t seem to be keen on long-term relationships anyway. Apart from Kyle, I hadn’t been with anyone else; emotionally or physically. Blake was a very intense person, too. How the heck would I handle him? I had watched as women became beyond helpless when he ended it with them. They were hysterical; calling incessantly, hoping he would take them back. He never did. It was mayhem. No, thank you. I didn’t want to be one of those women. Risking our friendship over sexual satisfaction? Maybe? I shoved that thought quickly to the back of my mind. I came out of the changing room dressed in a thong and a robe. I made my way towards the massage tables where my masseuse, a tall, stern-looking man—possibly Eastern European—waited patiently for me. He introduced himself as Alec. Blake was already on his stomach and had a scant towel draping his glorious ass. His back was all ripping-hard muscles, defined and cut. He had his head down, even though the session hadn’t started yet. I was sure he’d done that to make me feel less uncomfortable when I tried to position myself on the narrow table. Hopefully, that scant towel will be enough to cover my bottom. Alas, as dreadfully predicted, it just barely covered it.

Most times, I was proud of my “well-rounded assets,” but at times like these, I wish they were a little less rounded. As they started working on our backs, Blake turned, reached out and touched my arm softly. “Feeling better?” I smiled shyly at him. “Yes, thank you. It’s exactly what I needed. Next time, I’ll be the one giving you surprises, though.” His beautiful face lit up, giving me a devilish grin. “I’ll hold you to that!” I nodded, tranquility washing over me as I closed my eyes while I continued facing him. Shouldn’t I be mourning the loss of my relationship with Kyle? Yet, from the moment I opened my eyes today, Blake had railroaded my thoughts, putting Kyle somewhere faraway and distant. Except for the email… How was that possible? I was crying my eyes out last night and, today, I felt like an entirely different person. Powerful hands started to work their way down to my lower back. Hovering around where the slope of my butt started. Kneading thumbs and fingers made the towel slide lower. I gasped from a jolt of pain and then exhaled deeply, lips slightly parted. The pain felt good and I welcomed it. The stress I had from the last couple of weeks had taken its toll on my body. Opening my eyes, I found Blake staring intently at me. He didn’t smile or speak; instead he kept those magnetic eyes locked

onto mine. I swallowed, nervous. Those eyes had the power to penetrate and reach inside of me. It was disconcerting. He’s been doing that a lot today. Not knowing what to do, I closed my eyes again. Christ, I’m so screwed! Heaven help me if he did try something. God knows I had a hard time resisting Blake when he asked something of me, however this Blake—pure full-on Casanovamode Blake—would be my undoing. The smell of roses and the crackle of fire lulled me to sleep, unperturbed and tranquil. I happily dozed off into a blissful slumber. I woke up from the soft click of a door closing. Befuddled from my nap, I glanced around and realized that I was alone, lying there, almost naked and asleep. The darkened lighting from the candles made it hard to see much further into the room. “Blake?” I called out, sitting up and looking for my robe, but it seemed to have vanished! It was nowhere in sight. Biting my lip, I pulled my long hair forward to cover my breasts; it was good enough to cover my nipples, but not enough to cover the outline of my boobs. I tried to gather my wits. “In here!” called out Blake. Where was in here? Slowly, walking barefoot in a thong with my boobs partially covered by my long hair, I glanced around in the dimly lit room.

“Blake!” my voice laced with urgency. I started to make my way to the pool area, but couldn’t see him. Instantly, out of nowhere, he started gliding from the darkened corner of the left-side of the pool. My eyes rounded in admiration. My, God! I’m going to have a heart-attack. Gaping at his muscled pecs, six-pack abs and his wet hair swept back; I felt a jolt of instantaneous lust. I swallowed hard. He was absolutely breathtaking. Wow. I’ve never seen his chest before. NOW, I really think he was made perfectly! Rooted to where I was standing, heart beating erratically and barely breathing, I was mesmerized by his sheer beauty. I barely forgot to take note that I was almost as naked as he was. “Care to join?” he asked, glancing at me with the same look he’d had at the massage tables. He looked like he was ready to pounce. Still and waiting… The look was full of yearning… and pure, blatant lust. My stomach flip-flopped. Standing there—virtually naked—I was staggered, astonished. Being in that room, with him, the air—the smell of heady perfumed roses, the darkened setting of candles, making the room glow—I suddenly felt like I was there purposely to do his bidding! Enraptured and enthralled, I slowly walked to the pool, joining

my god-like mortal of a man without breaking eye contact. I went into the pool that was scattered with rose petals. The water gently rippled as I went deeper in, but I stopped when the water barely hit the tips of my hair. Standing on the very last step of the pool, I looked over to where he stood, unmoving like a statue, although his electric midnight eyes, roved all over my body, branding me. I gasped from the burning, ardent-filled scrutiny of his roaming eyes. He moved towards me, his tanned, rippling body glistening with water. My eyes examined his abs, slowly making my way to his hardened chest, his broad shoulders, his neck, his enticing lips, until my eyes stopped at his burning, silver-rimmed, midnight blue eyes. The air was charged, electric and perfervid. Looking up to his face, I was stunned frozen. He was so tall and all-male. I gasped again as he traced his thumb over my bottom lip, his eyes darkening. “You look like a goddess; exquisite and beautiful,” he rasped out as the back of his finger gently stroked my neck and collarbone with utter concentration. I shuddered from his delicate touch. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you, my sweet Sienna. I’ve always wanted you—from the moment our eyes met. I wanted you, badly, but you were with someone else. I’ve been patient—

biding time—until you were free, and so here we are.” I drew breath and slightly wetted my dry lips. He’d always wanted me? What?! This was insane! How the heck did I not see this? Being with Blake would be passionate; thrilling and tumultuous, however, did I have the capacity to go through a circus ring? I wanted him, no doubt. My mind boggled; I couldn’t think straight. As much as I was attracted to Blake, I didn’t know if I was ready, just yet. He was too intense, too commanding, too everything. At the same time, I was hypnotized and my mind was beyond puzzled. It really was disconcerting. “Blake, I—” I looked at him with beseeching eyes, licking my dry lips. “I don’t think I’m ready for this. I mean, I’m attracted to you, but this is too sudden. You must see—understand—that I need time.” I searched his eyes as he studied mine, waiting for him to answer me. After what felt like forever, I saw him nod his head. “All right, my lovely Sienna. I’ve waited for eight months; I can wait a little more. I’ll wait until you are ready, but I want to make something clear, I don’t just want you for your body… when you’re mine, I want your all; your body, your soul, your mind. I will consume you. I’ll be your world and in return, I’ll worship the ground you walk on and make you a very happy woman,” he spoke with a

strong, decisive and determined voice without his eyes leaving mine. He wants me. Blake Knightly. Wants. Me. I was excited, yet at the same time, I wanted to run for the hills. “Blake, if you must insist, but until I make up my mind, you have to respect my boundaries.” I gave him a peck on the left cheek, moved a little closer to his ear and whispered, “Thank you.” I accidentally grazed my nipples on his chest and the friction tingled all the way to my core. He immediately hissed through his clenched teeth. Oh, my God. That felt wonderful. “Sienna, try not to test my limits because I would gladly throw caution out and take you right here until I’ve had my fill of that glorious body; until you’re limp and worn-out from me fucking you,” he warned me with tested patience. “Right” What the hell do I say to that? I stepped out of the pool, leaving him as his powerful gaze burned holes through my back. I daren’t look back unless I wanted to play with fire. He was searing, scorching and sizzling with fire waiting to be unleashed. ON. ME. Shit.

Eleven I woke up startled from my surroundings and it dawned on me that I was in Blake’s apartment. The bedroom was simple with a touch of understated, warm elegance and twice the size of my room. A modern, queen-sized bed sat in the middle of the room with russet-colored, damask patterned wallpaper. The other two walls were painted an ecru shade, complementing the chic design. Amber colored lamps made of an actual rock sat on both sides of the bed. A contemporary chaise lounge in pistachio silk slanted in the corner along with a large antique mahogany coffee table. The room basked aglow with three shaded, floor-to-ceiling glass windows, overlooking the streets of Mayfair. His entire apartment, which was the whole tenth floor, was styled in the same manner; modern contemporary and expensive French antique accents. The combination gave the whole place subtle warmth. I smiled. The comparison of the apartment and its owner was uncanny. I gently rubbed my eyes as I yawned. Events from yesterday flashed through my drowsy head. He drove us straight back to his place from the spa. Surprised, yes, but I was too exhausted to argue with him to take me back to my own place in Covent Garden. Deep down, I was pleased that he’d wanted me to be close to him.

He cooked dinner and it was superb; I hadn’t known he was such a skilled cook. After we ate, we caught a couple of episodes of Game of Thrones from the DVR player. We lounged with a bottle of red wine and chocolate truffles from the famous La Maison du Chocolat—a completely marvelous way to end our day. During the entire evening, he never once tried to make a pass. He was respectful and kept his distance, though he did find ways to subtly touch me. Whereas you turn into a brainless creature every time he does touch you? I was aware of him; whether he was in the room or not. He acted like the usual Blake and that put me at ease. I was relieved. My mind was confused when it came to him. I mean, I know what I want, but when he was being all sexy and seductive, my thoughts turned to mush and that was perplexing. When it had been time for bed, he’d handed me one of his silk boxers and a shirt to wear. He decided—without asking me—that I should stay with him for the next few days until Sunday, when Luce arrived. School started Monday as he, too, began his lengthy training to become a tycoon like his grandfather. Blake would be shadowing him until he was ready to retire, which loomed on the horizon. Blake had been learning the ins and outs of the business for the last two years, but this time, he’d take on most of the responsibilities. His

grandfather wanted Blake to take over as soon as he’d deemed him ready. Their family business was vast from what Toby had told me. From oil to five-star restaurants, real estate, hotels and casinos, merely to name a few. I doubt their family would be estimated to be worth billions without an enormously diverse portfolio. Blake knew full well that his granddad would not be there forever. He needed to prepare for the inevitable, hence the prepping and training of him at the age of twenty-four. He’s almost four years older than me. The only thing that I was worried about was Blake changing. He was rich now, making a lot of money from his own investments, but when the time came, when he could tap unlimited funds and resources while being surrounded by powerful men as well as the world’s most beautiful women, I was afraid that would change him. I heard Toby joke about it before. I was quite certain that he too believed it was possible. Money and power could be intoxicating, especially at Blake’s impressionable age. I stretched for five minutes or so before going to bed. It helped me sleep better and my body didn’t ache as much if I stuck to one side during my entire sleep. The moment my head hit the pillow, I immediately went to sleep. Sometime during the night, I felt him bend over and softly brush my cheek with his lips and whisper,

“Sleep well, my Sienna.” Then he quietly left my room to go to his own. I slept like a baby after that. Still lounging in bed, his beige, fifteen-hundred count Egyptian cotton sheets haphazardly tangled on my legs, I looked across the room and stared at the sky through the windows. I felt well rested and almost like I was myself again. My face heated and my stomach coiled as memories of the pool incident surfaced. I groaned. Damn that man. He looked so good. That body… my God. Thinking about it made me all hot and bothered. I would never, for the life of me, fathom how I managed to decline his offer last night. It would undoubtedly baffle my psyche for the rest of my life. Not hearing the door creak open, I was surprised when Blake sat on the bed across from me, amused and sexy as hell. “Devising a plan to stay in bed all day, poppet?” If he only knew… how long can I endure this longing for him before I succumbed to what my body is aching for? I noticed that he had light stubble growing on the sides of his face; it made him utterly and painstakingly gorgeous. How does one manage to look beautiful after waking up in the morning? I bet I look a fright. He was wearing a fitted, black shirt and sheer, black cotton pajamas; I would not have guessed in a million years

that he was a pajama man. I would have thought commando was more along the lines of his thing. I looked away from his face. He’d caught me studying him several times already—much to my growing embarrassment—I didn’t need him catching me yet again. “Can we please? I need to just rest and unwind,” I exclaimed. I was still tired from my trip. Watching me intently, he reached out, brushed the hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. “As you wish.” I looked up, smiling and meeting his gaze. “Really?” I asked, loving his easy, jovial demeanor. “Yes, really!” My laugh abruptly halted as he slid his body next to mine. I stiffened when his strong hands pulled and hugged me from behind. The sudden feel of his hard, chiseled chest made me shudder. I was frozen in shock. Body, what happened to waiting? I want you… my damn mind kept nagging. His strong hand snaked around my waist, holding me tightly, imprisoning me to the feel of him. The heavy thud of his wildly beating heart was proof that he was as affected as I was. My body was shaking with hunger for Blake; a hunger that seemed to be getting close to impossible to resist.

“Hmmm… I just want to smell you. I hardly slept knowing that you were sleeping in the next room. Can you grant me this small request, my sweet Sienna?” My body shivered with anticipated excitement. I nodded, urging him on. His lips touched softly behind my earlobe as he trailed soft kisses all the way down to the base of my neck where he neatly pulled my hair to one side, exposing my neck and inhaling deeply. He groaned with frustration and a burst of lust surged from my aching core. Just one kiss, I thought wildly. I just want a taste. Turning around to face him, we stared at each other intently. An electric current between us crackled and sizzled. It was heady, intoxicating, searing. My gaze fell on his lips. One taste, that’s it. Feeling bold, I licked my own bottom lip. It’s now or never. Do it . Slanting my head, I kissed him very softly. A guttural sound came from his throat as he devoured my lips. His kiss was demanding with potent alacrity as I matched his passion. This. Gorgeous. Man. Wants. Me. Hooking my leg on his hips, I locked them against me. The feel of him being this close drove my body to a raging inferno. I’m so screwed. Feeling brazen, I tugged and pulled his shirt off. I needed to

touch, feel, taste his hardened chest. I greedily stroked his chest as his kisses became rapacious. Encouraged from his groans, I kissed his neck and ran my whole hand on his chest, scratching his erect nipple. “Ah,” Blake hissed from pain and pleasure. He speedily flipped me on my back and kissed my swollen lips hard. He briskly opened my boxer-clad legs and positioned his hot, hard body above me. Our tongues clashed as I locked both of my legs around him; his erection pressed boldly against his sheer pajamas. The heat of his erection rubbed with urgency against my covered mound, sending me into a tailspin. We were on fire. I felt his need, his frustration, his want and desire from his blazing kisses. The mixture was heady and downright intoxicating. I broke away from his mouth and moaned satisfyingly. The profound effect his body had on me was astounding. I felt drunk and more aroused than ever before. “Blake,” I gasped with my sex-awakened voice. Gazing at me with lust-filled eyes, he ground his hips harder onto my core—making me even wetter. Touch me. Please. Panting hard like he’d run a marathon, he sat back, looking over my wanton state. I can’t breathe. Time stood still. He softly caressed the cleft of the boxers, over my mound with his finger.

I whimpered and bit my lip, hard. Blake… what you do to me… The evidence of my arousal seeped through the soaked silk fabric, wet and hot. His finger grazed it, teasingly and stopped right there while he held my gaze, and then spoke. “You’re so beautiful. You have no idea how much I want to fuck you, hard and fast as you scream my name when you orgasm. I want to feel you come apart while my cock fucks you harder.” Oh, shit. My throat ran dry, his eyes pure with torment. “You have no idea… how much this is killing me, but I’m keeping my promise. You will be mine, Sienna. Not just for your body, I want everything from you. I’ll wait. You’re worth the wait.” His voice was gruff, but very much determined. He shrugged and looked away. Was he for real? What if I just want to get laid without the emotional hang-ups? “Blake— I—are you serious?” I croaked out, wide-eyed in disbelief. The infuriating man kissed me softly and then quickly pulled his body away. “Breakfast will be ready and waiting in ten minutes.” With that, he left the bed and exited the door with an evident hardon. I was left with my mouth agape and still wide-open legs, waiting to be ambushed. Who. Does. That? How can he just walk away when I’m more than willing? Because it isn’t only the

body he wants to possess. He wants me—body and soul—and he won’t settle just for my body. He wants it all. He wouldn’t change his mind, either. He wouldn’t make another move until I’d cleared my emotional closet and cleaned up all the cobwebs hanging loosely about. How long will that take? I cursed. Blake. Fucking. Knightly.

Twelve Showered and dressed in Blake’s Manchester United football jersey, I piled my hair up and went straight to the kitchen. Upon entering, I stood frozen and watched as Blake placed an omelet and some bacon on each plate. His hair was still wet from the shower and he was bare-chested, wearing only his well-worn jeans while also barefoot. His defined torso and six-pack made a rippling effect as he moved about. My mouth watered. What is it with men in jeans and bare feet? The combination’s simply irresistible! Was he trying to drive me insane? He looks so deliciously yummy! Feeling my presence, he turned around. With a sexy grin, he sauntered to where I was standing, kissed my forehead and guided me to sit at the breakfast bar. “Coffee?” the hot chef asked. I nodded, unable to speak, still mesmerized by the charming, barefoot-jean-clad god. He went over to the coffeepot. My eyes gawked as his impressive back muscles flexed when he moved. I restrained from licking that nicely sculpted back and that nicely dipped curve along his spine. Yum! This man is too sexy; it’s criminal. I could stare at him all day without becoming bored. It was like eye porn and he was a delectable subject. At the same time, though, I wanted to throttle him. Here he was, acting like a good

host, as if he hadn’t left me hanging and yearning in the bedroom. Coffee poured, he fixed it to my liking and placed the steaming cup in front of me with a sexy smirk. Blake’s eyes twinkled. He was enjoying this. His eyes were dancing with amusement. Asshat! “Blake, can you please put a shirt on?” I demanded petulantly. I didn’t think my hormones could take another dose of this exuberant display of masculine perfection. He just gave me a devilish smile and teasingly said, “Is it too much for you, Sienna? You just say the word and we can remedy that problem, immediately.” I shrugged. What word? How about three words? Let’s just fuck? “Thought you needed a reminder—that we’d be explosive together.” That hoarse, gruff voice again. It was making my body hum like no other. “But I want your all, poppet.” Don’t I know it! “Baby steps, Blake.” There was no doubt in my mind that we would be explosive, but I was trying to delay the inevitable. Once I let him in, there was no going back. There was no doubt in my mind that he would take everything; he would consume me without concession. It would be easy to fall for Blake. Most women did, but I would be vulnerable, open, defenseless.

~S~

“Loser!” I proclaimed with a little victory dance, hands waving high and hips swaying. “Don’t count your eggs yet, two more games to go,” Blake declared playfully. We were playing Scrabble. I’ll show him who’s the BOSS! I had won two-to-one and he was a little annoyed because I kept teasing him. This was the second time I’d won a round with him and we’d played possibly a hundred games all together. I was ecstatic in my victory! I was dancing one of my victory dances again when he pulled me to the couch and tickled me until I was out of breath, panting loudly as my thoughts were provoked. I badly wanted him to kiss me again, but he never tried. I wouldn’t beg, though I was dying inside. It was as if the incident this morning had never happened. How does he switch off like that? Hot and smoldering one second to casual and friendly the next? ~S~

Standing in the open, built-in wine cellar, I was biting and twisting my lips in frustration. My indecisiveness was causing me to contemplate for the umpteenth time as to what kind of red wine to

drink when he snaked his arm over my shoulder and grabbed his preferred wine. “Do you feel like a bottle of Barolo?” Blake asked close to my ear. His question barely registered because I was hyperventilating. I cleared my throat before I responded with a steady sounding voice, “I was actually thinking of Pinot Noir or that, but you’ve made up my mind. Go get the wine ready. I’ll go fetch the popcorn, Parisian cake and the fruits.” I could get used to this domesticated scene with Blake. He was so easy to be around; charming, thoughtful, witty and sexy, but most of all, he made me laugh. It wouldn’t be difficult to fall in love with him. We watched another movie, our third one today. Love Actually, one of our favorite movies. It was funny, sad and heartwarming at the same time. I snuggled close, drawing his heat and the need to be near him. He pulled me closer and placed my head against his strong, solid chest and held me firmly. I listened to his heart beating steadily, closing my eyes as he started to stroke my arm gently and I sighed with blissful contentment. Life certainly was starting again, whether I wanted it to or not.

Thirteen The sound of my ring tone blaring jolted me awake. I was about to reach for my phone when it suddenly dawned on me that there was a strong, heavy arm clutching my waist. Blake. I turned around to see if the noise had awoken him, but his steady breathing showed he was fast asleep. I unhooked his draping arm carefully as I slid off the bed, grabbed my phone from the side table and left the bedroom as I softly made my way to the living room. Why did Blake sleep next to me? He didn’t the night before last. Either way, I was happy he did. The entire flat was dark, but the moonlight helped me find my way around. When my toe touched the plush, black area rug, I opened my phone to see who the caller was. Who would call me at this time of night? Luce? Jen? Kyle. It was him. Again. I might as well get this out of the way. If I have to start considering being with Blake, it was best to clear out as much “Kyle baggage” as I could. The other issues I had would continue needing to be worked on. I’d have to talk to Chad, my gay, go-to person

and a very dear friend, about this. He’s my unofficial therapist. After a couple of rings, he picked up. “God, Sienna! I’ve been going crazy here! Are you okay, baby?” Kyle sounded frantic and like he was going crazy. Why is he still pursuing this issue? He made it perfectly obvious what his intentions were the last time I saw him. “Yeah, Kyle; I’m great! This call better be important if you had to wake me up at FOUR in the morning. So, what do you want, Matthews?” I sounded exactly how I felt; furious and annoyed. “Jesus, baby, take it easy, will you? I’ve been trying to reach you, but you’ve been ignori—” “It was done with good reason, Kyle! I told you—very clearly in fact—not to contact me again. But no, no, no! You never listen to me. I’m hurting; that’s a given. It wasn’t just our dating relationship that ended; I lost my childhood best friend, too! So, am I okay with that? Not really, but it was your choice. It was your choice to go behind my back—cheat—and start dating Brooke before having the decency—like other men do—to simply breakup with their girlfriend first!” I shrieked with erupting anger. I heard him sigh, heavy and pained. “I’m sorry, Sienna, baby. I’ve been missing you so badly. I’ve been drinking non-stop and got a DUI. I had a hard time handling things without you. I am hurting, too. You left me, even if it was for school… but you left

and went on with your life without me. When you called, happy and excited about your day, I felt left out. It had been you and me against the world since we were kids, but in the end… there was just me. I was lonely—I needed you—but I couldn’t beg you to give up your life for me. You already went through so much with your family. I can’t ask it of you. Breaking it off was the best thing to do, —and I was getting by… trying to live my life… working harder on my career. It was helping and, for the first time since we said our goodbyes at the airport, I felt like I was living again.” He drew air into his lungs before continuing. Crap. “When you showed up at Katie’s party, everything went down the drain… all the things I told myself that had helped me get through were forgotten the moment I saw you again. You looked even more beautiful…” He sounded choked up; his thoughts and feelings unconcealed. My stomach churned. “I simply wanted you—I needed you, I still need you, Sienna—like air to breathe. You’re my life and I can’t just go on living and not be with you. Without you, I’m in hell. I’m desperate for you… and without a doubt… in my mind—my heart—I’m still hopelessly in love with you, Sienna,” his voice was barely a whisper. I wouldn’t have heard him if the apartment wasn’t so eerily quiet. Oh Kyle! This conversation’s killing me inside. He was

dying from pain. I felt it. I felt his pain and it tore me up inside because I didn’t want him to hurt. I love him, but I can’t go through this; I’m beyond hurt. The man who I’d placed so highly on a pedestal had crushingly betrayed me and appallingly let me down. That was something I couldn’t get past or forget about. I sighed with a heavy heart, the weight pulling me down, “Kyle…” “Sienna…” His voice came out gruff and anguished. “Please, please, I beg you. All these years I never asked much from you, but I’m begging you now, give me another chance. Let’s give us another shot. I won’t let you down this time. I promise you I’ll figure it out, speak to Dad and work in our branch in London. I’ll do anything. I’ll promise you anything. Just please, think about it? We can get married, if you want… I’d give anything to have you back… just please, Sienna, forgive me and love me again.” He sounded so broken and extremely desperate. I sat on the floor, leaning on the couch with my lips quivering. What he said broke me in two. If he had come clean and been honest about his feelings, we wouldn’t have broken up. We would still be together. Plan our lives, get married and have babies. It was what we talked about. He had thrown that out the window because he was lonely. I had been lonely, too, for the whole time we were apart, but I hadn’t acted on it. What I wanted most was trust,

honesty and loyalty and Kyle lost on all three counts. Can I take him back? After what he’s done, I could, possibly, try to see if things could work out if he’d showed remorse and guilt. I might’ve before—before Blake told me how he felt about me. Hold on, did he say anything about what he felt? Besides wanting me? No. He hadn’t. His intentions were clear, though. He wanted me, in his bed, yet other than that, he’d never spoken about any indication about the future. It was sex he was after—my whole cooperation—but not once did he mention he was after my heart. I mentally shook my head. It doesn’t matter. My heart was not up for anyone to grab. Love made you weak and opened you up for pain and suffering. Never again! I took a chance with Kyle because he had been everything to me, but he’d reinstated my beliefs by proving them right. “Kyle, I forgive you. I do. It would have been easier for us if you’d told me about your feelings then—how terrible it was for you—but you never uttered a word to me about your pain and I’m sorry for that. I am. However, asking me to give us another try? That’s a bit too much. I can’t trust you. You hurt me and I’m not ready to forgive that yet. I’m so sorry for everything, but it’s all too late now; I can’t be with you,” my voice trembled because each word punctured me deeply.

Never in a million years had I imagined that I would cause Kyle pain and suffering. I wanted him to be happy and part of me continued to want to take all that pain away. He meant that much to me, but I couldn’t sacrifice myself for his happiness. I just couldn’t. “So, please, I’m begging you now, Kyle, I need space. I can’t talk for a while. Maybe in a year we could be friends again, who knows? However right now, I simply can’t. We just have to move on with our lives, separately. Goodbye, Kyle… I’ll always miss you.” Those last two sentences were torturous to utter. The pain in my heart was so acute, I gasped for breath. I immediately ended the call before he had the chance to speak. I almost ran to the bathroom across the hall, but I was careful not to make a lot of noise and wake up Blake. Blake awake was the last thing I needed right now. He’d grill me until he’d gotten all the facts as to why I was distraught. The bathroom was dark and comforting. The moment I closed the door, I slid down it and sank onto the cold marble tiles then cried, hard. I cried because Kyle was the only family I had growing up. Because he was my best friend, my first love. It hurt, but I didn’t have it in me to forget what Kyle had done. He made his bed. He simply needed to grow up and accept that sometimes things just didn’t work the way you pictured them.

After weeping for what seemed like an eternity, I washed my face and swollen eyes. I stared at the mirror, studying my distressed state, complete with blotchy skin from crying. That’s enough crying. You’ve shed it all and you have nothing left. Be strong. I walked slowly back to the bedroom and positioned my body next to a sleeping Blake, curling up, closing my eyes and praying for sleep to come so I didn’t have to think about my life. Even if just for a little while. Experiencing this kind of loss certainly made me realize that life would never be the same again for me. Kyle. He’d always be a part of me. I would always remember him as the man who took me in, held me close and protected me. He was my hero, my love, my best friend. Goodbye, my Kyle. I will always miss you.

Fourteen Waking up the next day was brutal. My body was lethargic and my head pounded. I groaned and covered my head with a pillow. As much as I wanted to stay in bed all day, though, I knew that I needed to keep moving to find some sanity. Reaching for my phone, I was shocked to find that it was already eleven-thirty. Haul your lazy butt out of bed, Sienna. Sitting on the bed, I decided to text Chad. Me: Hey, love! Are you busy? Want to meet me @ the studio to let off some steam? -S Dragging myself to the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth then studied my reflection. My eyes were red and swollen from crying, my skin blotchy and my hair was a tangled mess. Oh, Kyle! What a disaster. After I had showered, I changed into my freshly laundered dress that I’d worn a few days ago. It was time to go back and change. As much as I liked wearing Blake’s clothes, I missed my own. Putting on some gloss, I went to go look for him and found him in his library which also served as his office. He was on a call in a heated discussion and engrossed with something on his laptop. I backed away and went to the kitchen to give him time to take care

of whatever was so important. I sat at the breakfast bar enjoying my coffee and croissant when I received a text from Chad. Chad: Sure, baby love. What time do you want to meet? I’m free now. Want to grab lunch somewhere? Or better yet, how about I come over with Chinese? xxx Smiling, I eagerly replied to meet me at my apartment in an hour and Chinese would suffice. I put my phone down, sipping my coffee and enjoying a buttery croissant when Blake strolled in with what seemed to be an empty coffee mug and a serious face. “Everything okay?” I inquired lightly. Wondering where he’d gotten his mood from. Blake shrugged. “Just work. We’re trying to open a hotel and casino in Marbella and there seems to be a problem with permits as well as budget overruns that I have to look into.” “That’s unfortunate. I hope you guys can figure out a way to fix that. Marbella’s a prime location. I’m sure you and your people will figure out a way. You’re good at that.” I melted when he gave me his sexy smile. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, poppet.” “Anytime, Knightly” I winked at him as I retreated back to nursing my coffee.

“Going somewhere?” “Yeah, I’m meeting Chad for lunch at my flat in an hour and we’ll hit the studio later in the afternoon, perhaps.” Blake turned and walked over to the coffee pot. Stirring his contents with two teaspoons of sugar before returning to his former post, leaning against the kitchen sink. “Sounds like fun! Will you be back here tonight?” “Do you want me to? I’m sure you’re busy with work, Blake. I don’t want to impose any longer.” He left the sink, came over to where I sat and swerved my chair so I sat there facing him. “Listen, you’re not imposing. I invited you to stay here. I would love for you to stay with me tonight before Monday comes. We’ll be busy, but always count on me to make time for you.” Swoon. “I love spending time with you, too,” I said shyly. I was still not used to being with Blake like this. It caught me by surprise every time. “What time do you plan to leave? I’ll take you,” he said over his coffee as he took a sip. “Are you sure? Aren’t you busy with the Marbella project?” He couldn’t keep pushing his work aside for me. I didn’t want him to get into trouble with his grandfather. “Yes, but I’m still taking you. End of Story.”

Bossy aren’t we? “All right, in that case, save dinner for me. My turn to cook.” “Brilliant! Apart from your coffee making skills, I haven’t tried anything else.” Blake was back to teasing. I punched him lightly on the arm. “Hey! Don’t make fun of me! I’ll load your dish with cayenne pepper just to punish you for that!” I happily grinned at him. “Oh, really! My type of punishment will make you suffer with sweet torture. So watch it, my sweet. Take only what you can handle.” Threats, though hot, but threats all the same. Am I one to back down? Don’t think so, buster! “We’ll see about that, Knightly,” I retorted, amused. He held my hand as we both got up and he went to fetch his keys to drive me back home to meet with Chad for lunch.

Fifteen “Have some room for dessert, love?” I looked at Chad, astonished that he could even stuff himself more, considering how much Chinese takeaway he had consumed. “Go help yourself; I’m in a coma.” I moaned as I gently patted my belly. “We’ll just do double time with dancing tonight. It’s okay; cheesecake?” Flagging a forkful of blueberry cheesecake in my mouth. I groaned in frustration with his persistent attitude, knowing full well I had a weakness for sweets. Evil man! Heavens! That was delicious. I got up and went to the kitchen to prepare some coffee. When I came back, Chad was already almost halfway done with the cheesecake. “Is something’s bothering you? What is it, baby love?” He glanced at me with a perfectly arched, ebony brow. This was as good a time as any. Feeling helpless and confused, I spilled everything about Blake. They were friends by association, therefore Chad didn’t know I had the hots for Blake Knightly and my confession shocked him. He whistled after I finished with my tale, took a big gulp of

coffee and looked me square in the eye, “Wow. That’s some story.” Chad lightly fanned himself. You don’t say, buster? I smirked. “I’m usually pretty good at these things, but I never once thought he saw you that way, love. I mean, apart from a few lingering glances here and there… Wow, that man can certainly put a mask on! God, I can’t believe you didn’t just shag him! How could you not even think of going all the way, love? I would’ve yelled at the top of my lungs and told him to ‘pummel me any way you want me, baby!’” Chad looked all hot and bothered all of sudden. I was sure his thoughts involved the sweaty, smoldering hot body of Blake. I had no doubt in my mind Chad would do exactly that. We both had the hots for Blake Knightly. I laughed loudly and then, smiling at my dear friend, I confided, “I was sort of ready to do it all the way, but he resisted and I admire him for that. It’s difficult enough that I just barely got out of a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I like Blake—more than I should at the moment—and when he’s around, he’s all I think about, but I’m not emotionally ready. I’m drained and I can’t simply put myself in that situation. Not right now, maybe in a few months. Blake’s an intense person. He will consume me and I’m not ready for that kind of emotional rollercoaster. Not yet.” It was very confusing to be in this position. Here I was, trying to gather my bearings after such a riotous upheaval with Kyle and a

whirlwind of hotness of the formidable god that was Blake Knightly had been added. What was a girl to do? “Even though he’s a deliciously sinful specimen, I get where you’re coming from,” Chad sympathized. “Maybe you can still have fun with him without getting too attached? Or you can just enjoy being single and see what’s out there. God knows you haven’t yet experienced London single! Maybe it’s time you should, love! I’ll be with you all the way! This is so exciting.” He looked wistful, like he was imagining all sorts of scenarios in his head. I bet his are more revealing than mine. Blinking a few times, I leaned back on the couch and exhaled, sighing. Chad had a point. For me to jump from one relationship to another was not good, everyone knew that. I still had baggage to sort through with Kyle. I couldn’t think about him without feeling a heavy knot in my chest. Everything was unbelievably complicated. “You’re right. Maybe being single is the answer to all this.” “There you go. Speaking of fun, I have a different motive for coming here. I need a model for my theme with the art show I have in eleven weeks and I want you to pose for me… with a male model, who I don’t know at the moment—” “Pose?” “Yes, pose! Model for me! For my grunge sensual theme—” “I’m not model material, Chad!”

“I beg to differ. Have you seen your body, Sienna? C-cup breasts, small waist and that ass! Although, most of all, you are gorgeous! You look sensual and you fit my theme. I don’t see anyone else that would be as fitting, baby love. Do this for me and I’ll be forever in your debt. Will you do it, love?” He was on his knees with a huge pout and dark eyes, pleading. Chad, with his flair for the dramatics, didn’t exactly hold back when he was desperate. This meant I was the only person he had in mind. Sigh, the things we do for the people we love. “Ah! How you tug at my heart. You just have to go looking all sad! Fine! I’ll do it! You can bet your skinny ass that you’ll be indebted to me for a while! When does it start?” “I have to speak to a few guys tomorrow. I’ll let you know by Tuesday. Shooting will be in around a week or two. The images I want are risqué and you’ll be technically nude with undies, just to warn you.” He looked delirious and sheepish at the same time, happy that his project was well on its way. Technically nude? Shit. Bite me. I pulled my legs to my chest. Thoughts of the shoot mocked my mind. What if it looked obscene and tacky? “These better be tasteful, Chad,” I warned. Chad merely huffed. “Baby love, I only do it with taste and class! You know that!” True, I did know that. His artworks were appealing and riveting. I was sure my lack of confidence came from

my own insecurities. After lunch, we left to go for a walk around Bond Street and went inside Selfridges before hitting the gym. He needed some apparel and he enjoyed modeling them as I sat, cheerfully critiquing his choices. A couple of hours later, we left for Hampstead and hit the gym. They have floor-to-ceiling-mirrors that surround the room. There were six rooms in total and we took one that wasn’t occupied. Damp with perspiration, I gulped a whole bottle of water. The four sets of samba gave me a much needed workout and it felt great. “Get your sweet, Brazilian ass back here! Time to shake it for Salsa!” Chad called out as he was jumping about and browsing through his iPod. “Coming!” I yelled as I made my way to the middle of the room. I studied the image before me. Dressed in my black leggings and cut-off, loose shirt that hung off one shoulder, I looked flushed and glowing. The two-hour workout with Chad had left me in a happy state as I made my way through the checkout counter in Waitrose on Marylebone High Street. I was going to make spinach salad with cherry tomatoes and stuffed mushrooms, lasagna with hot Italian sausage instead of beef, garlic bread and tiramisu to finish the meal.

I paid for my items and hurried outside to hail a cab. Sitting comfortably inside, I texted Blake that I was on my way with groceries in hand and to meet me in the lobby.

Sixteen Playing with my wine glass, I took a sip and looked at the man across from me. His fitted black shirt emphasized his bulging biceps and broad shoulders, making my thoughts slide downwards into explicit territory. “Blake…” He looked up from his tiramisu. “Hmm?” “Is it okay if we keep this—whatever this is—between you and me? Until, I’ve thought things through?” Right, like whatever this is would be a suitable description. Something passed in his eyes before he responded, “If that’s what you wish, then, I’ll oblige, Sienna.” “Thank you. Since we’re on the subject, what is it you’re really after? A relationship? A fling? Friends with benefits?” The list could go on really. “A relationship, but as I said before, it’s your decision. I am not going to pressure you to do anything you don’t want to, however if you are, I want everything and only you, exclusively. I don’t share what’s mine.” That was good to hear. I mean, I didn’t want to share him if he was giving me the goods. “I see. That’s a lot to take in.” I looked up to him with a serious expression because the damn atmosphere had dropped and it was becoming quite serious.

“It is. That’s why I want you to think about it carefully.” Blake leaned back on his chair, studying my reaction to his words. His eyes were cautious and gauging. “What happens to our friendship? I don’t want to ruin what we have. It’s a major factor for me.” It was one of my many fears. Blake and I could lose a lot if things turned ugly. “I know and our friendship means a lot to me, too, but I want you! I’m burning for you, Sienna. I can’t seem to get you out of my head! It’s driving me insane. It’s the only thing I can think about; you’re the only thing that I think about. I can’t think straight, Sienna!” Blake’s face was unashamed from his admission. If anything, he looked unfaltering. He was a man that knew what he wanted. I was starting to become weary. “How about we try friends with benefits? No strings attached kind of thing first?” Say yes, my thoughts pleaded to no avail as he shook his pretty head. “No. I want all the strings; the good and the bad. If it’s too much to be with me because you’re still recovering from your ex then, as I said before, I’ll wait. I want you to want this, too; badly enough that you can’t wait to be with me. I want you open only for me and no one else.” My. He just keeps on pressing and pushing forward, doesn’t he? Fuck, he’s so damn delicious, too. His unabashed admission turned me on while it also gave my

stomach butterflies. I desperately wanted to kiss him. Blake was the kind of man who knew what he wanted and didn’t hesitate to get it; he could be utterly ruthless. “Why me, Blake? I know you don’t do serious relationships. I mean, you have so many women who don’t have any emotional hang-ups or issues. I just don’t get it; you could have any woman you want. What makes me different compared to Camilla or the others?” “That’s easy. You’re different because you’re all sassiness and sexiness; well, most of the time, however sometimes you can just be gullible. You’re unique and I’ve never felt this connection with anyone. It’s exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I knew this even before we kissed, which merely confirmed what I knew. You feel it, too. I’ve seen you trying to tame it down, yet it only intensifies. This is the point of no return for us, Sienna. You know that.” Point of no return, he said. Did I know that? Yes, I sort of did. Blake didn’t do things in small measures and I was next on his list, apparently. “It’s like that, huh?” I gave him a teasing smile as I got out of my chair and walked across the table to where he was sitting. His face lit-up with a knowing smile. Does the bad boy want to come out and play? I thought

provokingly as his smile became dangerous. Oh yeah. He definitely does! I stopped before him, hooked my right leg to the other side of the chair and straddled him. He gasped at the sudden contact of my body. Without hesitation, I took his face with both of my hands and kissed him passionately, deeply. My kiss showed him how much his words affected me. How he made me forget about everything except for him. The kiss was ferocious as our hunger battled against our tongues. I pushed my ass down harder and ground against him. We both groaned as his hands gripped my waist, pressing me firmly in place against his jeans that revealed his hardened shaft. The friction was pure torture. The heat of his rock-hard erection against my soaked underwear was madness. My body took over; I suddenly felt possessed, wanting to feel more of him as I rocked myself slowly against him. I was on fire as I kissed his neck, sucking it until he moaned my name. I slowly kissed him as I became lost in this blanket of mindless lust with this beautiful man. The spiral feel of emotions rocketed through my body as we devoured each other. My heart ached. I wanted him. So. Badly. However, what tore me up inside was the prospect of losing him altogether as my dear friend. He meant a lot to me and, by

sleeping with him, there was a huge possibility that our friendship could not and would not survive. Breaking from our locked lips, he touched his forehead against mine. “You’ve enslaved me, but I’m asking you to stop torturing me. End my agony. Say yes.” His voice sounded different; it was pleading and laced with hungered passion. It simply thrilled me to the core. I had this power over him, and for a man such as Blake, that was something important. I heeded. “Blake—” He took my chin and looked me straight in the eye. “Be mine, Sienna. Your body tells me that it’s mine, but your mind resists. Stop fighting it and let it conquer us. We’re fated to be together. I knew it from the moment I met you. You were made for me.” How sure could he be? “Blake, I can’t have sex with you tonight… but I can help you. I’ll help you… get off…” My voice trailed off, lust-filled and with purpose. Empowered from his reaction, I made up a plan. I might not be ready to do the deed, but I was ready to have fun. What fun it’ll be, too. I peeled myself off him and lead him straight into the living room. I dimmed the lights and directed him to sit on the couch. “Take all your clothes off except your boxers.” I commanded with

absolute seriousness. Walking over to his iPod player, I chose the song “I’ve Been Thinking” by Handsome Boy Modeling. It was fitting for what I had in mind for him. When I turned around, he was already situated in the middle of the couch and oh so ready! Blake’s compelling eyes preyed on me, scrutinizing each move I made. His smooth, six-pack abs and torso looked too tempting not to be noticed. His black boxer briefs fit him like a glove. My, oh my, what a package! I swallowed and started to panic. Shit cakes. Do I know what I’m doing? You’ve got it under control. You’re fine. You can do this! Now, move. “I need to get something. I’ll be back in a flash and don’t move an inch, Knightly.” I almost ran to the bathroom, fetched what I needed and darted back to where Blake was patiently waiting for me. “So, where were we?” I murmured as I got close to him. “Oh yeah, pleasing you, Mister Knightly.” Smiling and biting my lip, I felt excited and wicked at the same time. I felt like I was on top of the world when he looked at me. Opening his legs a little wider, I stood before him with my long, dark hair wild and mussed-up, lips swollen from his kisses. I untied the knot at my neck and pulled my short dress above my head, slowly and deliberately, making a teeny show for him as I let my dress drop on the floor.

When I heard him groan, it was exactly the push I needed. My eyes took him and his reaction in. His face was stoic as his eyes darkened, making his gold flecks stand out, his gaze penetrating me, burning unadulterated fire. With shaky hands, I unhooked my bra, swiftly pulled it off and seductively placed it on my fingers, letting it dramatically drop to the floor. I stood before him with my hot-pink lacy thong and four-inch, patent nude, Rolando Louboutin pumps. Still, no sound came from him, but his eyes spoke volumes. They were locked on my round and heavy breasts. His penetrating gaze alone had the power to make my nipples harden and my womanhood drench with excitement. Strategically bending over him with my butt in the air, I kissed his neck and slowly made my way to his tanned and chiseled torso. I licked the outer part of his nipple until it hardened and covered with goose bumps. My hot tongue flicked it slowly and my teeth playfully bit it. He gasped. “Fuck, Sienna. You’re killing me.” Slowly, but surely, they say… Glancing at him through my lashes, I gave him a cat-like smile. “I’ve only just started. Be patient, young man!” I went back to assaulting his left nipple then took my other hand and scratched the counterpart. Blake buckled. I smiled. You like that, don’t you?

My tongue snaked slowly to his navel and I nipped around it. My fingers traced the outline of his boxer-briefs, soft and light, only enough to make him tingle. I wanted him hot, ready and rabid. My fingers gently pulled down his boxers and I gasped loudly from his springing cock. It was massive; the girth was thick with a big vein that outlined his hardened ridge. Wow, impressive! My eyes were greedy, my mouth watered and my hands itched. Hell to the mother fucking yes! I gathered my bearings and hastily pulled the boxers off his long legs. Kneeling, both of my hands gripped his thighs. I kissed his inner thigh, slowly and deliberately, as I made my way to his balls. My hand cupped them, hard, and started to play with them— massaging and pulling a bit. Holding his balls firmly, careful not to touch his ready to combust cock, I slowly got up and bent over to kiss his neck. My lips assaulted; sucking and biting his earlobe while my hand continued to grip and squeeze his balls. “Sienna,” Blake muttered, edgy. I felt his large hands cup and grip my ass. He gave my left butt cheek a loud spanking. “Ahh!” I yelped from pleasure, but he needed to hold back. It was my playtime, my show. “Naughty, naughty. Don’t touch, Knightly.” I hissed. “I can’t help it. Your beautifully shaped arse was right there just waiting to be spanked.”

“Enough,” I scolded the Brit. He immediately shut his mouth when my hand found his manhood, stroking it slowly, up and down its silky, hard length. The gesture made him close his eyes with his mouth hanging ajar. “You like that, Mr. Knightly?” I inquired with a raspy, sultry voice. I licked my lips as I watched my hand touch him, his shaft got bigger and bigger. “Yes,” he responded, his voice thick and throaty. Still stroking him, I used my other hand to reach for the oil and flipped it open. I drizzled and smothered it all over his throbbing cock as it freely oozed all the way to his balls. It wetted my hands as I massaged it on his body, spreading the oil all over his thighs, his torso and on my breasts. Once done, I retreated back to catering his hardened ridge. Right-hand on his cock and my left on his balls, stroking his lengthy cock slowly as I sucked his balls and played with them with my tongue. He rasped my name as if in pain. Easing my mouth slowly from his sack, I gripped his hardened length and stroked it as I covered his engorged head with my other free hand, swiping my oiled fingers at the crown, making delightful friction on his manhood. Blake instantly buckled from my assault. “Fuck!” Encouraged, I gently squeezed the head of his shaft as I rotated my hand, upping his pleasure as I simultaneously stroked the rest of

his cock all the way to the base with fervent concentration. Blake was moaning my name, uninhibited in his delirious state. I accelerated the speed once I felt him grip my shoulder and pant loudly. Oh, he’s so close. I want to see this compelling man come apart in my hand, in my mouth. My determined tongue viciously caressed him as I touched my hand to his ready-to-combust head and massaged his balls. My hot, greedy mouth swallowed his swelling crown. I sucked him, hard. My tongue flicked on the small, slit opening of his shaft, where his creamy juices come out, before I hastily retreated to the bottom of his head where it was extremely sensitive, teasing him relentlessly. I bobbed my head, twirling my tongue around his crown as my tongue swiped and stroked him harder, taking everything I could from him. Blake took my head and clutched his hands in my hair, firmly holding me in place. With another strong flick of my tongue, he finally surrendered, yelling my name as he unloaded himself in my mouth. I sucked him hard, devouring every drop of essence that he secreted out; leaving not a drop behind. Blake gasped for air as he stared wildly at me, fascinated. I pulled my mouth off his cock; his cum still sat creamily on my tongue. Without blinking, I wantonly gazed at him through my lashes while I swallowed his creamy seed, slowly, and licked my lips after.

Boy did that ever catch his attention. Hell, Blake even tastes divine. Midnight silver eyes blazed, never leaving mine. Blake hastily pulled me down on the couch and swiftly placed my hot aroused body underneath him. His dominating swiftness left me ravenous. To say my body was humming would be an understatement. At this point, it was singing at the opera house. When he managed to find my lips and sealed them with his, he kissed me with pure abandonment. I kissed him back, matching his passion. I felt drunk with lust—with need—all because of Blake. He did things to my body that I couldn’t explain. It kept exploding when he was near, like he was the puppeteer and I was merely his puppet. My pussy throbbed and my thong was beyond soaked. I was more than ready. Blake broke off the kiss, sought my neck while his hand cupped my breast, squeezing a hard nipple as he fiercely bit my neck. “Holy. Shit. Blake!!!!” I screeched. Blake’s still-hard cock teased and rubbed the outer layer of my barely covered mound “You’re drenched, Sienna. Are you sure you don’t want me to remedy that?” His roughened voice was hoarse against my ear and it made me shudder. How I wanted him… to feel him inside of me, but it was not

the right time. Groaning my name loudly, Blake took his cock and determinedly guided the head around my pussy. Coaxing the lace with one swift nudge of his engorged head to move the elastic lace sideways, my swollen lips exposed to his assaulting eyes and awaiting cock. Blake’s eyes glittered. Not, yet. I pleaded in my hazy mind, not yet. “God, you’re beautiful, Sienna.” He softly rasped out as he gently parted my pussy with his cock. The engorged head gliding, slowly and gently, as it rubbed against my clit. Dear me. That feels blindingly exquisite. “I know we can’t have sex. Don’t worry,” Blake gently assured me. I nodded, trusting him fully. My chest heaved and my eyes closed. Blake, what are you doing to me? I felt like a whole different person, not the old Sienna, but someone wanton, shameless. My thoughts departed as he teased the tip of his head around my opening. Circling it slowly, excruciatingly, until I was delirious from pleasure. His lips planted kisses all over my stomach and then he placed his mouth directly in front of my pussy. I hooked my leg on top of the couch and the other on his shoulder. God, YES!!! “Open your eyes.” I did as he commanded. “Never take your eyes off me. Watch what I can do to your body.”

My eyes were the size of saucers, my mouth agape as I saw his tongue taste me with a slow flick, sucking my dripping clit. Blake took his thumb and played with it some more. The image of him going down on me, tasting me, was carnal and erotic. I almost lost it. I was mesmerized and couldn’t take my eyes off him. My body was already strung out, but the raging onslaught of his tongue was too intense, and suddenly, I ran out of breath as my body quivered, responding beautifully to him. “Come for me, my sweet Sienna.” His mouth was unrelenting, savagely caressing my pussy as he inserted a finger inside my molten opening. The pleasure it gave me was unbearable. My orgasm was closing in on me, fast. My breathing halted when I felt him insert another finger inside. It found my spot and he rubbed both his fingers there, ceaselessly. “Yes, give it to me. Please!” I begged as I gripped the couch, scraping it with my nails as my orgasm rocked me in waves. My body twitched from my release and I was panting, out of breath. Whoa! I closed my eyes and sank back on the couch. Energy all spent, I thought contently as I limply moved my hand to cover my eyes. That was mind-blowing! Never in my years with Kyle had I experienced anything like it and that was only his tongue and fingers. Imagine what his cock would do to me when the time came. That

thought alone made me want to jump on him and find out. I did say Blake made me shameless, didn’t I? Spent, Blake placed himself on top of me. He kissed my lips gently and tenderly. “Now, we’re even.” Hell yeah! What a payback it was, too! He kissed my nose as he slowly got up and then swiftly plucked me off the couch as if I weighed nothing. Blake headed towards the bedroom and placed me carefully on the bed before he slid in next to me. “Wow. Just wow,” I whispered in awe. “I know. It makes me wonder what fucking you would be like,” he wondered out loud as he kissed my earlobe and tugged me closer to him. “One day, you will be mine. All those sweet juices will be for my mouth and my cock. You won’t want anyone else.” Hmm, smug, aren’t we? “Arrogant man,” I mumbled softly. “No, just being truthful. You gave me something tonight. The memory of you almost naked, stroking and sucking me, will forever be ingrained in my memory.” I’m sure it will. It was what I wanted to do. I laughed sleepily. He kissed my shoulder, hugged me tightly and whispered goodnight. His soft breathing hit my neck as we both fell asleep.

Seventeen Monday came with a rush. My classes were a little hectic. From marketing classes to Art History, I was sure I was about to spend a lot of time studying paintings in The National Gallery to catch up. I came home yesterday after spending three nights with Blake. Luce came back upbeat from her vacation with Toby and things seemed to be going pretty steady between the two. I was keeping my fingers crossed. I never once mentioned to her that I’d slept in Blake’s flat or any occurrence I’d had with him. I wanted to keep it to myself for now. Blake had been texting me about how his day was. He mentioned how hectic his schedule was going to be, but asked if I wanted to have dinner with him Friday night. I eagerly replied and said yes, of course. I liked how he was being patient with me. I was even surprised that he was willing. The Blake I knew didn’t wait on women; it was the other way around. They waited on him. I hoped, though, that he wasn’t risking our friendship because I was simply a novelty. I guess I just had to wait and see how he fared with the situation. By Thursday, I was tired and weary. I hadn’t been sleeping properly. My thoughts lingered at night and it had been driving me

insane. I hadn’t heard from Kyle either. I was relieved and saddened at the same time. Will there ever come a time that I won’t feel this deep anguish every single time I think of him? I was haunted by that last phone call; his voice desperate and pained. I truly hoped that he was doing well and not indulging himself with alcohol until he was numb from the pain. I’d never known him to be so irresponsible. That’s why it was a surprise that he’d gotten a DUI. I was sure his parents were overjoyed with that news. I could seriously see their shocked faces and the disappointment. They were a lovely couple. They loved Kyle very much. Chris Matthews and I were friendly, but we’d never been close. Kyle’s mom Marie, on the other hand, was a dear and had made me feel right at home ever since I was a little girl. When I pictured what my mom would’ve been like, I always imagined my mom’s face with Marie’s gentle personality. Marie treated me like I was her own. I would always be grateful for her. Sitting in my marketing class, my mind drifted in and out of the lecture. I really needed to focus or else I would certainly fail. My phone beeped silently. I took it out of my purse and saw that Chad had sent me a message. Chad: Baby love!!!! I got your male model!!!! FINALLY! He’s über hot!!! It’s going to be FABULOUS!!! Just you wait,

love! I’ll text you the deets for the shoot next week. I think we’ll be doing a shoot once a week for six weeks? I’ll let you know! Love You! xxxxxx Ha! I wondered where he’d found his model. I just hoped his shots wouldn’t be raunchy or tasteless. How comfortable would it be to pose almost nude with a stranger? This should be interesting. I might need to take my accomplice, Don Patron, with me to soothe my nerves. I just might. By the time the class ended, it was already six p.m., so I rushed home to cook dinner because I was feeling ravenous. Hopefully, Lucy hadn’t arrived yet so I could cook before she did. She usually came home around seven from school. She’s a sophomore and had a bad schedule. When I opened the apartment door, I was surprised that there was noise coming from the living room. Luce is home early, I thought. “Luce? I’m home! What do you feel like for dinner? I’m cooking!” I called out to her as I placed my purse on the floor and checked the mail that was stacked on the rustic-looking table where we placed our keys and other knick-knacks. I barely glanced up as Lucy came to greet me. She looked a little frazzled which was unusual coming from her.

“Luce?” I gave her a questioning look, but instead of responding, she dragged me to her bedroom and gently closed the door behind me. Okay… “Mrs. Matthews is here!” Lucy exclaimed. I gasped. What! Kyle’s mother? Here? What in the world is she doing here? Shit! Did something happen to Kyle? “Is Kyle okay? Did she mention what she wanted?” I asked dramatically. All these weird scenarios popped and flashed about in my head; none of them any good. “I don’t know. She never said. She’s been waiting for twenty minutes. You should go and ask her yourself. Whatever it is she came here for, be strong.” Luce gave me a hug and squeezed me tightly. “Right. Thanks for the warning.” My hand sought out hers, gently squeezing it before I left and strolled towards the living room to find Marie. My hands were clammy and I rubbed them on my jeans as I entered the living room. I found Marie gracefully sitting on the couch, drinking tea as she watched the news on the television. I was relieved that Luce had taken care of her and had made her feel comfortable. “Marie?” “Sienna, dear, how are you? It’s so good to see you again. I

was a little miffed that you didn’t come to see me when you went back home. I’ve missed you.” Oh, my. That made me teary and wobbly. I wanted to see her, but the thought of Kyle had stopped me. I didn’t know how he would feel about me going behind his back and visiting his mother. “I’m sorry. I meant to see you, but circumstances made it difficult for me. I’ve missed you, too.” She stood in front of me and gave me a loving hug. “I hope you’re doing okay, Sienna?” She eyed me with concern. “I’m fine. Is everything okay? You’re visiting London?” I cautiously asked her. I needed to know the purpose of her visit. Marie started to sit down and I sat across from her on the other couch. I needed as much distance between us as possible because it just had to be that way from now on. As much as I like Marie, she’s still Kyle’s mother and she would look out for her son first and foremost. “Sienna, let me explain my visit and I hope that you will let me finish before you voice your thoughts. Is that okay with you, dear?” I nodded and said yes, eager for her to get on. “I know it’s been extremely tough for you and Kyle both since you moved here. I saw his despair when you left. It tore my heart to pieces to see him go through something like that, but he somewhat survived that hurdle and started to live life again. Since the moment he saw you back

home, he’s been spiraling out of control and I need to intervene before things really get out of hand and he ends up dead somewhere.” I gasped. Kyle? Why do you do this to yourself? “A few days ago, I caught him passed out in the bathroom with lines of cocaine next to him. I was hysterical with worry and so I called Chris, panicking. We discussed what we needed to do to help our child cope with his problems. We sat Kyle down the next day, after he recovered from his binging.” She gently wiped a tear that had escaped her teary eyes. “We asked him what was going through his head and told him how negligent he had been with his actions. He didn’t talk much—as expected—however he laid out essential facts of how he felt like ‘he’s dying inside.’ I just wish he would’ve spoken to me about it sooner. He chose to bottle it all in. “Instead of putting him in rehab like most people do, Chris and I agreed that it would be best to send him here, to be around you again. You give him perspective, dear, but most of all, my son listens to you. He’ll be assigned to scout as well as supervise the UK branch, and at the same time, he can try to see you to make amends. Even if you two don’t get back together, you kids should remain friends. You darlings were inseparable and it’s painful to see a long standing friendship fall apart. “Sienna, I know this is asking a lot of you, but I’m asking you a

favor—for the first time—to please help my son get better. I’m not sure if this will help, yet I feel that this all started with you. I have no doubt in my heart that you can help him get better if he saw you again. He always listens to you. He loves you.” I was speechless. Kyle coming and living here? Me helping him get better? That’s a big responsibility! How the heck will I handle that? I’m freaked out! So much for cleaning out my closet of emotional baggage! It was going to drive me mental. “Marie, how do I even begin? That was a lot to take in. Has Kyle agreed to this? Does he know? When is he coming anyway?” “He does and he’s arriving tomorrow afternoon,” she said calmly. I stared at her in shock, her statement sinking in. Holy fuck! Kyle will be here tomorrow? What the hell am I going to do? What about Blake? He’d either go ballistic or understand. Who knew which one, though? This was all so frustrating. Marie was precious, and she’s only ever been kind to me since I moved in with the Brown’s. I couldn’t let her down without putting up an effort. “All right, I can try. I’m not making promises, but I’ll try.” “Oh, Sienna, thank you! This means so much to Chris and me. Thank you! Kyle will be so happy!” I don’t know about making Kyle happy, but I’ll be a friend. He

certainly needed to redirect his goals. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t see someone so dear to me spiral out of control, either. It was Kyle and he needed me—his best friend, not the lover—and I would be there for him. Marie stood up and took something out of her purse. She sat next to me and handed me a key. “Here is the apartment key. He’ll be staying in the company house in Hampstead. Here’s the address and my phone number, just in case you need to call me. Never hesitate to call me, dear. I’m here for you, too. I’m simply helping Kyle settle in the apartment and I will be leaving Sunday morning. I was hoping we could all grab lunch or dinner Saturday? Would that be okay?” “Yeah, that’s fine, Marie.” Maybe? “Thank you again, Sienna. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Have a good night, dear.” I nodded as she stood up to leave and then I guided her to the door in a daze. After she left, I scurried to my room. My palm was holding Kyle’s apartment key, a business card with Marie’s information and the address of the apartment. I looked down and stared at it, blankly until someone knocked. I looked up as the door slightly opened. “Can I come in?” “Oh, Luce! Kyle is going to live in London for a while. They

sent him here. They think I can help him get better.” My voice was small, but obviously freaked out. “Are you okay with that? Will you be able to help him without getting too attached?” Her blue eyes studied me as she tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.” She nodded and sat next to me on the bed. “I sort of heard the conversation. I was in the kitchen. I didn’t mean to pry, but, love, Kyle needs your help. You just have to be the bigger person and set aside any ill feelings for him. This could be tough; although, you’re the bravest woman I know and whatever happens, never think that you don’t have anyone to speak to. I’m here for you, always.” I gave her a hug and thanked her for all her support. She then got up to leave me with my daunting thoughts. It’ll be fine, I tried convincing myself. I was beyond exhausted as I made my way to the kitchen to make a sandwich for dinner. I didn’t want to think anymore. I’d think about my problems tomorrow. When I went to bed, I slept like a log. I had no dreams, no interference.

Eighteen I was contemplating what to wear for my date with Blake when I received a text message. Kyle Matthews: I’m here. I’ll see you tomorrow. I sighed. Way to dampen my mood for my date tonight, Kyle! My heart was beating erratically against my chest. I had never been in this position—where I had to deal with an ex while starting to see someone new. This was all so new to me and it was driving me insane. Should I tell Blake? I really should. Sooner or later Lucy might mention it to both of the guys and I’d be grilled for information. I knew back in the day they were all curious about him and knowing how Lucy was, she’d probably invite him over for dinner to bond with the guys. I cringed at the thought. God, please, no. That would be an epic disaster. Blake and Kyle in the same room would be chaos. Browsing through my closet, I chose an embroidered, black lace, short cocktail dress and paired that with my classic red Prada, gladiator platform heels. I artfully pinned my hair up and minimized my eye shadow. I was heavy on mascara and my engine-red lipstick. Spritzing my favorite perfume, my phone buzzed as if on cue. It was Blake letting me know that he was downstairs waiting

for me. Grabbing my purse, I headed downstairs to meet him. Coming out of the elevator, I could see Blake leaning lazily against his Aston Martin in a sharp, black suit against a white dress shirt. He looked dashing, sexy and still blindingly sinful. I felt lightheaded all of a sudden. I came out of the building as I heard him whistle loudly, clearly praising my look. Boy, how I’ve missed him. I had forgotten how he made my heart pitter-patter like crazy. I was breathless. I went over to him as he pulled my hand and twirled me around with full appraisal. I smiled like an idiot. “Like it?” “Like it? I love it, poppet! You look ravishing! That dress certainly had you in mind,” Blake said against my lips before he kissed me tenderly. I simply melted. A good whiff of his scent had my body into a lustful frenzy. Relax, stupid body! “I’ve missed you, my sweet.” “Missed you, too, Blake.” I gazed back, my emotions all over the place. I felt so much for him. Things I couldn’t explain. I swallowed hard. “Come on, I don’t want us to be late for our reservation.” ~S~

Blake took me to OXO Tower Restaurant and Brasserie on South Bank that overlooked the River Thames. It was al fresco

during the summer time and I relished the warm atmosphere around me. I had never been there before and the view was beautiful, even more so since I was sitting directly across from it. I grinned at him. He smiled back, eyes glittering in the night. “What do you want to drink? Champagne?” “I think I’ll have a watermelon martini tonight.” “I’ll order us a bottle of red as well,” Blake concluded as he browsed through the menu. He did love his red wines. Our waiter came and took our order. I let Blake decide what to order for my entrée and he happily obliged. With our drinks in hand, I sipped an ample amount of my martini, closed my eyes and savored the taste. Hell, it was glorious. The decadent drink had just the right amount of vodka, zest and freshly squashed watermelon juice. Delicious! “Do you always close your eyes when you revel in something you like—food, alcohol, sex perhaps?” Blake murmured in a low, husky voice. It was his ‘fuck me’ voice. Gah! Why are my nipples hardening? My eyes quickly snapped open. Blake was relaxed against his chair with his hand on the stem of his wine glass, his dynamic eyes burning into me. Damn it, those eyes will be the death of me. I swear it!

Does he know how fascinating he looks? How every single thing he does makes him even more desirable? Does he notice the other women staring at him longingly? Because I fucking do and I don’t like it one bit; especially when we’re out on a date. Will I ever manage to get used to his dark beauty? I wish. Clearing my throat, I murmured, “Yes, savoring them makes you appreciate all the good things in life.” The coy smile I gave him made him smolder. “Yes, I definitely agree. How was your week? How was school? Any news?” Tricky, those questions, I thought as I weighed my options. I swallowed slowly. Any news? That seemed a little loaded. “School’s good. I like my classes this semester. News? Let see— I’ll be modeling for Chad. He’s going to have a show in a couple of months.” “Model? How?” He looked perplexed. Okay… I know I’m not model material like the ones he’s used to, but at least have the decency to look pleased. “His theme is Sensual Grunge. He’s hell-bent on having me be his model. Go ask him.” My voice small and a little hurt because his reaction had definitely wounded my pride. “Sensual Grunge?” the blasted man reiterated. “Yeah, whatever,” I said, shrugging off his annoying attitude.

Blake became quiet, and after a few minutes, his mouth was still shut. Damn him! He always did this and it was incredibly uncomfortable. So, instead of glaring at his form, I opted to look about, glancing around at the people milling around with friends, laughing and drinking. Some chatted happily whilst eating their dinner. Everyone seemed to be having a great time except for our table. Biting my lip, I contemplated my news about Kyle. Since he was already in a gloomy state, I thought I might as well drop the bomb. “Since we’re on the subject of news, I just learned yesterday that Kyle’s temporarily moving here for work.” I took a long sip of my martini. “Kyle? Matthews? He’s here?” His reaction was disbelieving. Yep, my ex is definitely here in London town. “Yes, Kyle is here. He just flew in today.” “Bollocks! I can’t believe this! This night keeps getting better and better!” Blake said as he raked his hand through his hair. I didn’t get the chance to respond, though, because the waiter laid our food out on the table. Blake seemed eager to ignore me after that and so I let him. His brows furrowed as he worked on his meal. What was he thinking? He looked like he was working something out, but wouldn’t voice anything to me. It was so frustrating!

I had a hard time not choking on my meal. His forbidding attitude didn’t put me at ease and when the waiter came to clear our dishes and offer dessert, he immediately declined, stating clearly that we were in a hurry. My stomach dropped. He hurriedly paid the bill and led us both to the elevator, barely touching my back as he ushered me in. When we got out of the building, instead of walking towards the car, he surprised me and suggested that we walk for a while. He seemed so distant and I couldn’t seem to reach him while we walked. When we stumbled upon a garden, I sat on the concrete bench, waiting for him to say something, anything. The silent treatment was killing me. “Blake?” His faced away from me, looking over the clearing that led to the river. The garden was dimly lit, however it wasn’t dark enough to hide Blake’s stony face. When he finally turned around and faced me, hands in his pockets, his face was completely passive. What was going on with him? “Are you going back to him?” he asked, but it sounded like an accusation. “What? No! I never said I was! I mentioned it because you had to know, even though I’m not going back to him. I can’t freely

date you at the moment. He’ll go ballistic if he finds out. I guess all I’m asking is if you could understand where I’m coming from? Kyle’s been through a lot lately and he needs my help. His parents seem to think I’m the only one that can pull him out of this rut. They think I can help him somehow… heal, I mean.” “Heal him, Sienna? That’s a load of rubbish!” He cursed loudly as he kicked a stone next to his foot. Blake turned his back on me again and sat on his heels, both hands gripping his hair. I pressed my lips together, knowing I was asking a lot of him, but I had to help Kyle. He didn’t have anyone else. I owed Kyle this; at least, no matter what he had done for me we were friends for much too long to turn my back on him. I stared at the man before me who looked conflicted and I honestly didn’t blame him. I would have been, too, if our situations were reversed. I picked at my nails, antsy and nervous when he got up and turned around to face me again. “Sienna, as I badly want you, I can’t fall back and watch on the sidelines as you spend time with him. I can’t fathom the fact that you’ll be spending time with him, especially after what he put you through! However it’s your decision and I fully accept that. He’s obviously still significant to you and I understand that, as well. You still love him and that’s something I can’t compete with. I have to give you up, make things

easier for us both. “We’ll still be friends, never doubt that. I’ll always be here for you, but what transpired between us this past week is something we should bury and move past.” No! How can he say such things? I wanted to argue, but his eyes were grim and his lips pressed into a thin line, showing me how serious he was. My eyes were brimming with tears as I watched him speak. He looked fine, although his voice was something else entirely. He sounded hollow and empty. I knew, deep down, even if I begged him to change his mind, he wouldn’t. He had already made up his mind about Kyle and me. The big question is, how am I going to move on with life after Blake? Yes, he’s still planning to be my friend and we could mend things, bring them back to as they were before, yet how will I forget how Blake’s kisses make me feel? How will I bury these memories I have of him? I felt tormented with emotions and I had a hard time speaking. “Are you sure you want to give up whatever it was between us, Blake?” I pleaded, my voice a mere whisper. “It’s not easy for me to say this, Sienna. You know that. ” Do I really know it? I’m not so sure I do. I nodded, not wanting to argue his moot point. I unceremoniously got up and walked towards his parked car. There

was no point in staying longer in the park, pondering ways to convince Blake to change his mind. It was a done deal in his head. He’d probably concocted this while he had sipped wine and concentrated on his dinner. The ride back home was silent. He didn’t even bother to turn on any music. What a great night this turned out to be, I thought bleakly. How I wished things were different, but Blake was obviously willing to just walk away—without much ado—so I would do the same and not dwell on it. Apparently, it didn’t mean that much to him so I guess it was time to let bygones be bygones. He parked outside my building without even bothering to look at me. I stared at him for a bit, waiting for him to say goodnight, but he didn’t budge. I hesitantly leaned over toward him, gave him a peck on the cheek and hurriedly left the car. The tension was stifling and I needed to get out of there before I broke down. The apartment was dark and silent. Lucy usually stayed with Toby during weekends and I welcomed the eerie silence. Not bothering to turn on the lights, the moonlight barely slithered through the windows as I made my way to the kitchen and helped myself to a huge glass of wine. I’m not going to cry, I willed myself. It was stupid and we had barely started anything; it was too new for it to be significant. I went to my bedroom and slowly took my shoes and dress

off. I took the pins out of my hair, letting it cascade down my naked back. Wearing only my thong, I went to turn on my music and played “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Eva Cassidy. Placing it on repeat, I crawled into bed, curled up, alone with my heavy heart and my disgruntled thoughts. I never did cry. That night, I dreamt of silks, candles and a pool full of rose petals.

Nineteen Morning couldn’t come soon enough as I stretched lazily on my bed. I reached for my phone and checked for the time; it was ten in the morning. I sighed. I would be meeting Kyle and Marie later today. How exhausting is this? It drained my soul until I was insipid and lifeless. I wish I could have danced with Chad today, but Saturdays were usually busy for him at the studio and I couldn’t cut it close to dinnertime. I needed enough time to get ready. So I settled for some stretching and a twenty-minute Pilate’s session in my living room. Blake never texted or called last night; it was just as well. He was serious about his decision and I had to let it go. All I had to do now was gather up my courage and my armor for when the time came that Blake decided to bring a date when he was hanging out with us. I flinched inwardly at the thought of those strong hands on another woman. It had never bothered me before, yet since things did happen between us; it was going to be difficult to revert to the old ways. I knew how those hands felt, how great they could make me feel. Alas, it was over and I simply had to move past it. I did some laundry, dusted and cleaned the apartment. Before I

knew it, it was five in the afternoon. I had received a text from Kyle earlier stating where and what time we’d meet. I still had an hour and a half to get ready before I needed to meet them. I decided to run a bath and soak for fifteen minutes or so before I started getting ready. Browsing through my closet, I decided on another black dress, strapless, short and fitted with an A-line skirt paired with black stiletto heels. I kept my long hair down, reaching a few inches above my butt. Pearl studs finished my look perfectly. Aiming for the classy look couldn’t be accomplished properly without pearls, or so they said. Hailing a black cab on a Saturday night could be very difficult; however, I was fortunate enough that I didn’t have to wait long on the pavement. The traffic was terrible, but I was lucky to arrive a few minutes past seven at The Dorchester Hotel in Park Lane. Marie loved French cuisine and I was meeting them in one of the five-star restaurants inside. Entering the hotel’s foyer, it was hard not to miss Kyle. He was standing idly in the corner. His face lit up when he saw me as I passed the glass doors. He was wearing black from head to toe; black dress shirt, jeans and dress shoes. He immediately sauntered towards me. “Sienna.” “Hello, Kyle.” I greeted him as he gave me a light hug, pulled back and inspected me quite thoroughly. His eyes even glinted.

He looked like he had lost a lot of weight since I had last seen him. He had dark rings under his eyes and his skin looked paler. He continued to look handsome, but his usual luster was missing. I felt a jab of guilt looking at him. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t my fault that he was having such a rough time; he did it to himself and he should have known better, although the fact that somehow I was a major factor to his spiraling downfall, made it quite difficult for me not to feel some remorse. “Mom’s already seated inside. I just wanted to wait and meet you out here. You know, merely making sure you were coming.” He doubted it? I would’ve thought Kyle would know I could hardly say no to his mother. “I said I was. I wasn’t planning on canceling at the last minute.” He nodded and led the way to where his mother was located. Marie looked beautiful in her usual Oscar de la Renta suit in light pink as she greeted me warmly and sat next to Kyle. I sat across the table and Marie immediately took the uneasiness of the situation away. She never once discussed Kyle’s problems; instead she directed the conversation towards her charity work and other subjects that she deemed safe throughout the entire meal. Sipping the excellent red wine, I was a little guarded when Marie’s questions turned to an inquisition of my time in England; in her gentle manner, of course. “So dear, tell me about your life here?

Is it what you dreamed it to be?” Smiling, I relented, “I really love it here. I’ve made my own friends and I’m very comfortable now. School’s great, actually! I’m loving where my professor is going with our Art History class. So, I guess I’m happy, if that’s what you wanted to know.” I took another huge sip of my wine and glanced at Kyle. He seemed a little aloof and engrossed in his phone messages. “Anyone special, dear?” Marie lightly inquired. Even in her gentle voice, I knew she was dying to know this. Kyle even managed to pause his tapping on his phone, though he never looked up. I could tell he was waiting for my answer as well. Mother and son, working together. Great, this is just what I need. Since I’m not seeing Blake that way anymore, I guess there’s nothing to tell them. Shaking my head, I answered, “No, no one at the moment.” “That’s excellent!” Marie exclaimed with a huge smile. Excellent? Yeah, right. Marie suddenly stood up and announced that she was off to bed. Her flight was early tomorrow morning and she needed all the rest she could get. She thanked me and kissed me goodnight before doing the same with Kyle. Now, it’s just us, even better. I fished for my phone and saw that Luce had texted me.

Luce: Going out dancing tonight! Want to join us in Mahiki? Toby wants to take his friend from work. Say you’ll come! Oh, definitely! Me: Yep! Meet you there in an hour or so! I immediately invited Chad to meet us as well, if he didn’t have plans already. However, knowing him, he’d probably drag his date to come party with us. “What’s making you smile like that?” I looked up and clashed with his golden-hazel eyes. I hadn’t realized he was done texting his friends and giving me all his attention. Brooke perhaps? “My flat mate, Luce, just texted me to see if I wanted to go clubbing with them.” Putting my phone down next to my glass, I took another copious sip. “Going to join your friends?” Kyle inquired. “Quite possibly, yes.” “Can I invite myself as well… If you go?” He picked up my phone and toyed with it. He was acting like the old Kyle I’d known. I was relieved that he was still there, somewhere. “Shouldn’t you be resting? You just barely got here. Besides, after the crap that you pulled with your binge drinking and drugs, going out to party should be the least of your worries, no?” I

enlightened him, quirking up a brow with my question. I was furious that he placed himself in harm’s way. He could’ve easily overdosed and died. What the heck was he thinking? “I’m off that, Sienna. It was a deal I had with my parents. I know it’s stupid, but I needed to numb the pain I was feeling. I didn’t want to deal with it. I took the coward’s way out, but now I’m here and I can see you again; not somewhere far away from you. I’m not going to rebel and act out.” Handing my phone back to me, he informed me, “You have a message.” It was from Chad saying he’d be on his way soon and he couldn’t wait to see the gang. Chad started hanging out with us the moment Luce and I became friends as well. I was glad that everybody got on, even Toby and Blake liked him. The guys didn’t seem to mind that Chad was gay and I adored them for it. “You’re not really seeing anyone, baby?” Kyle finally managed to ask the stupid question I knew he was dying to ask. Why does he keep studying me? Can’t he look away, just for a second? It’s making me nervous. “I’m not yours to call baby, not anymore.” I shot him a hateful glare. “We’ll see, baby.” Huh! Confident, aren’t we? If he thought I was just going to

fall back and be with him again, after he cheated, because he was here in London, he could think again! The big question is, should I invite him to go to Mahiki and meet my friends? He’s eager to go, but what if Blake’s there? Nah, he’s busy with that Marbella project, remember? Hopefully, Lucy and Chad won’t be bothered by Kyle? They might not like him; however, I know they won’t be hostile, either. Draining the rest of my wine, I glanced at Kyle. His eyes were staring at my boobs. I rolled my eyes. I knew the tight dress emphasized my small waist, but it pushed my breasts up—and they looked insanely good. I suppose that’s why I’d chosen it. I’d wanted to rub what he’d thrown away in his face. Kyle’s a boob man and he loves those suckers. Too bad he wouldn’t be doing much with them other than staring at them longingly. I ignored his blatant mishap of calling me ‘baby’ after I’d rebuked him about it. “Still want to come and meet my friends?” I double-checked. This was a big deal for me, although I didn’t show it. This was going to be the first time my London friends would meet him. It was a major deal. “I definitely do.” Kyle nodded, responding with certainty. “’Kay, I’m going to refresh my make-up. Lobby in five minutes?” He nodded as I walked away from our table.

Twenty I was thankful when the cab finally stopped outside the club. The silence in the cab had been deafening. Awkward much? Why is he acting so weird, anyhow? As instructed by Luce, all I had to do was mention Toby Watson to get in right away. I was sure Toby had made reservations before coming here. Count on him to always be prepared. When it came to his ladylove, he didn’t think twice about giving her anything. Have you seen those couples that were toothache-inducing, sickly sweet to each other? Yep, that was them. They look like they’re made for each other; therefore people tend to forgive them for that. Brushing past the bouncers, I scoured the booths to look for my friends. I was quite nervous because I hadn’t mentioned bringing Kyle. I merely hoped that they would all get along so it wouldn’t be completely difficult. Kyle didn’t have many friends here, so he was most likely going to follow me about. God, I hope not. He’ll find friends soon enough, I convinced myself. The music was thumping and blaring loudly. The place was starting to get packed as more alcohol-induced bodies swayed to the beat on the dance floor. A Polynesian theme was throughout the

entire club. It was done tastefully with a touch of contemporary design. This place was known for their exotic cocktails and mixers that came with a fire exhibition. It was quite riveting and the crowd went rampant with awed fascination. Kyle’s hand found my waist as he pulled me in and whispered into my ear, “I think I found your friends. They’re all staring, just to give you a heads up.” I quickly turned to my right, away from the fire exhibition, and found their table was actually on the far right, away from the commotion. Kyle was right; they were all staring. I didn’t get to check out everyone at the table because I looked down, a little embarrassed as I made my way towards them. “Sienna Richards, glad of you to grace us with your sexy self,” Chad drawled in his flamboyant New York accent. “And you must be?” The question was aimed to Kyle. I totally forgot to mention his move here to Chad. He was going to devour the drama. He lived for these things. “I’m Kyle, Sienna’s friend from LA,” Kyle introduced himself to both Chad and Luce then flashed them both his seductive smile. Even tired, he could still manage to look handsome. Kyle had always been handsome in a lean, muscled, surfer, rugged kind of way. His dark hair and his hazel-golden eyes amplified his good looks.

“The Kyle?” “Yes, Chad! Now drop it, please.” My eyes glared at him fullon, begging him to stop, but it seemed he didn’t get the damn message. Was he drunk already? “My, my! Don’t you two look like the perfect couple! Don’t you think, Luce? Toby? Sam? Blake?” The moment Chad said Blake, my eyes shot behind Chad and looked over the booth. Sure enough, the prince of brooding was sitting conveniently behind Chad, blocked from my view earlier. Oh, fuck. Blake looked composed and impassive, as though it didn’t bother him. When our eyes met, he simply nodded to acknowledge me and returned to chat with another man I had never met before. Ouch. I hadn’t seen it coming. He had moved on. Blake’s reaction, or what little of it he’d shown, proved to me how over me he was. The dull ache in my chest wouldn’t subside, so I ignored it and pretended I was perfectly happy. Luce introduced Kyle to the rest of the guys and the stranger named Sam. They all seemed nonchalant. Toby and Blake, even less thrilled. I understood the reaction from Blake, but Toby? Kyle’s phone flashed and he texted quickly as he pulled on my waist a little too possessively—directly in Blake’s line of sight — and told me that he needed to make a phone call outside. He

quickly kissed my cheek before retreating into the crowd and out the exit door. My eyes landed on Blake’s. From the murderous look he gave me, I didn’t have to guess if he’d seen the exchange. His nostrils flared, his jaw muscles tightened and his beautiful eyes screamed bloody murder. Unable to stand the burning heat of his stare, I turned around quickly. Luce handed me a blue colored drink and Chad pulled my hand, cornering me on the mirrored wall. “You better start explaining yourself, baby love, before I start hyperventilating. Aren’t you dating sexy Blake?” Chad rattled on, his ebony eyes curious. “Blake decided it was best to end it last night when he found out that Kyle’s parents had agreed that I’m the medicine for his sobriety—hence the attendance of the one and only—I wasn’t expecting Blake here. He’s supposed to be busy with a project.” “Goodness! This is awesome drama! I love it! It must be wretched to be you right now, huh? How are you holding up?” As quickly as his eyes lit up to the prospect of fireworks, it immediately vanished when he realized how rotten it was for me. “Yeah, it’s fucking dreadful! But, please, let’s not talk about it; not tonight. I want to have fun! Is that okay with you, mister?” I gave him a quick hug and kiss on his glossed puckers. I sat next to Toby and he immediately gave me a tight hug.

“Ex-boyfriend coming after you it seems?” I shrugged, not wanting to reply. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but I want you safe is all.” He kissed my forehead and got up to join Lucy on the dance floor. They looked so happy together that it made me feel worse. Taking a sip from my blue sweetened vodka concoction, I noticed Blake toying with his glass of whiskey; possibly contemplating if he should talk to me or not. “Not busy with the Marbella project tonight?” I asked, leaning a little closer to him. “Back with him that quickly?” Blake’s sarcasm was palpable. Didn’t I explain the situation last night? “No, I am not.” I looked around and scouted for someone to rescue me, however it seemed everyone had dispersed to the dance floor. Picking up on my nervous state, Blake leaned close, so close that I could smell him. My stomach nose-dived as I closed my eyes and breathed him in. Damn you, I silently cursed. “You look bewitching, my Sienna. I seem to recall how well your body responded to me and I’m getting hard thinking about those lips of yours.” His gaze went south, gritting his teeth. “Your boobs are indecent. Did you do that purposely to torment and

torture me?” My, God! I love it when he talks dirty. His cool and composed façade slipped off and another man surfaced. “If you are tortured and tormented, you have yourself to thank,” I managed to whisper as I looked him straight in the eye. “Seeing how cozy you two are made me think twice about my decision. Do you know how it makes me feel seeing you together?” Even with the loud thump of music his voice was clear and grating on my delicate ear. “I didn’t know you’d be here. If I had known, I wouldn’t have come.” Blake abruptly pulled away from my ear and looked over to my side as Kyle came into view. He didn’t seem to notice the tension between us or he was doing a good job at pretending not to see it. Releasing a sigh, I turned to Kyle. “How did your call go?” “It’s good.” He gave me a sideways glance and his usual flirty smile. When I stood up, he held out his hand. “Dance with me, baby.” “I don’t think that’s a good idea. How about we just stay here, hmmm?” “Come on, baby! We used to have fun dancing! Please? Just this once?” He was still holding out his hand and smiled like an idiot as I took it.

“Fine.” “I’ll be right back,” I addressed Blake, but he just stared at me, infuriated. “By all means, dance your socks off,” he bitingly responded. That I will, just you wait. Joining the crowded floor with people bumping and grinding, Kyle took the opportunity to pull me close to his chest. Our eyes immediately locked and out of the blue he yelled, “I love you.” My mouth opened and closed again. I rotated myself and placed his hands on my waist while we continued to dance, which relieved me from having to talk to him. He seemed to love having his hands on me. His grip was getting tighter as he ground himself a little too close for comfort on my ass. How did one balance an ex and a “possible” new man in her life? It was Kyle’s first day here and I was having a hard time already. I hated what he’d done, and at the same time, I wanted to help him, however it was evident that he wanted more than that. With Blake, though, where did I even begin? He was incredibly baffling. Holding our rhythm, I was starting to have fun dancing with Kyle. We both relaxed and started to enjoy each other. When the music ended, I expected us to dance more, but Kyle led me to the entrance door. Outside on the pavement, he asked me to take a short walk.

and I obliged.

Twenty-one “I’ll give you a few minutes and then I’ll go back inside. I don’t want my friends to worry,” I said to Kyle and he simply nodded in agreement. When he stopped walking, he leaned on a building, closed his eyes and then spoke softly, “When my parents pitched the idea of me coming here, I was happy and scared. I was scared because you might not love me the way I love you; well, not anymore. I was cruel and I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done to you. If we turn out to be friends like how it was before we started dating, I’ll take that in a heartbeat. I’m really thankful that you’re even giving me time, but it was hardly a surprise.” Opening his hazel eyes, they were miserable and anguished. “You have such a good heart, Sienna. You’re smart, beautiful and brave. When Christy started beating you, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t dare hurt you, but I did. I broke that promise. You trusted me. You loved me. How could I betray someone I love so much? I was so consumed with anger and hurt that I forgot to think about how I was hurting you. I’m sorry.” Kyle started to massage his temples while sadness racked my body. I walked over and hugged him tight. The mention of Christy Brown’s name sent shivers all over my body; that woman was

horrid. “I know you are. That’s why I can’t stay mad at you for long. What you did was painful and I’m hurt. I just wish that you could’ve told me about what you were going through. Instead, you looked for a replacement to forget about me. That hurt.” “And look how successful that turned out, Sienna. The moment I saw you again, I was a goner. I was invaded by the thought of you. It’s always been you, Sienna; no matter how much I try. My heart belonged and will always belong to you,” he professed, a little breathlessly. I looked down and studied my toes. Why is it painful when he tells me he loves me? I love Kyle, I do and I guess I’ll always love him, but a big part of me wanted Blake. No point in denying myself anymore. I had always been attracted to him and I couldn’t pass this chance up or I might regret it for the rest of my life. Fuck, baby steps. I wanted him and that’s that. What I felt for him was complex, but as fascinating as he was, I was not going to let anyone trample on my heart. That’s one thing I wouldn’t compromise. Once was humiliating enough. “Kyle, I’m sorry. I really am, but right now, I’m not in a place where I would want to be in a relationship. There is too much between you and me. I need to step back and think about what I want. All my life, I was attached to your hip. I lived and breathed you; I loved you with all of my heart, however you must understand

that things changed. It’s different now.” I looked at the man I used to love with unshed tears. His thumbs started to wipe the sides of my eyes. “Don’t cry, baby. I feel like a total bastard right now. Please, don’t cry.” Kyle hugged me tightly. My head was on his torso as he tried to calm me down. He gently stroked my hair and kissed my cheek. Pushing myself off his body, I folded my arms as I waited for him. “Let’s go inside. We’ve been out for a while now.” He pulled me close to him and draped his arm around me as we headed to the club’s entrance where he immediately stopped. “Go be with your friends, I’m going back to the apartment. I was pooped before we came here, but I wanted to spend more time with you. Now, I’m ready to crash.” “All right, it was good to see you again. Be safe.” Kissing my lips gently, much to my surprise, he bade goodnight. “I’ll be in touch, baby. I love you.” With that, he headed to where several cabs were waiting on the curb. I waited until he got in a cab before I let myself past the bouncers who were listening intently to our exchange. I smiled, understanding how boring it must be to stand there all night. “Can’t say I blame him, love. I would want to spend all of my time with you,” one of the tall, bulky men said as I walked past. Men, I thought amusingly.

My mood took a sour turn when I saw a tall blonde sitting on Blake’s lap. Here’s a reality check. Moments ago, I had been thinking of being with him and now his hands were on that woman’s waist as he fed her olives. Barf. My blood was boiling and I wanted to throw something at them. “Turn around,” Chad whispered behind my back. “The old Blake lashed out when he saw how you danced with your old lover. She’s an old friend of his who just happened to be here with her own party, but as you can see, they’re quite engrossed with each other. Don’t mind him; I’m sure he’s gutted inside. This is his way of coping.” Chad looked sorry as he squeezed my shoulder. I didn’t even respond to that because I didn’t expect it, but why shouldn’t I have? It’s fucking Blake we’re talking about! Here was a side of him that I had never gotten to see before. I was beyond angry; however, Hell would freeze over before I let him see how hurt I was. “He just glanced here—don’t look back!” Ugh. I can’t do this. This is beyond pathetic. I am beyond pathetic! “Take me to the dance floor, lover.” I nervously smiled at my friend, offering my hand to him.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Chad’s a blast on the floor and, before I knew it, Luce, Toby and Sam had joined the commotion. Chad grabbed another man’s attention, so he was dancing somewhere amidst the throng of people. Luce and Toby were dancing and laughing with each other. So, that left me with Sam who was giving me a kind smile. As we danced next to each other, he leaned in and asked, “Where’s the boyfriend?” I laughed. “No, no, he wasn’t my boyfriend; an ex is more like it.” Smiling, he leaned in a bit more. “So, what do you do, Sienna? Apart from breaking hearts, that is?” Ha! If he only knew! “Well, I’m still in uni, but for the most part, my time is dedicated to breaking hearts here and there, lighting up drama whenever I can.” I was laughing and fluffing him up with his own joke. He was certainly easy to converse with. He wasn’t handsome, but his kind eyes and demeanor made him likable. “Come on, love, let’s get something to drink! I’m parched!” It was announced by the thirsty Lucy as she tried to catch her breath while she actively fanned herself with her hand. “Let’s!” The scene at the booth hadn’t changed much. The fucking

woman still on his lap, but she was now openly caressing his neck and chest from the unbuttoned, midnight blue dress shirt that matched his eyes. They can go fuck themselves. I could care less. Ignoring them, Sam poured us both champagne and I gladly took a huge gulp. Arching her brow with curiosity, Lucy asked Sam and I, “What were you two discussing earlier? I’ve never heard Sienna laugh like that.” Lucy leaned on the table as she eyed us with amusement. “We were discussing her full-time job as a heartbreaker!” “Yup! He was telling me how his heart was broken when I turned him down. He wanted a quick shagging in the bathroom, apparently.” I even tsk-tsked, loving the whole light-hearted banter. “Such a naughty boy you are, Sam!” I added to boot. Everyone laughed and Luce almost choked on her champagne. Chad appeared out of nowhere, dripping with sweat and a huge smile like he had just won the lottery. “OMG! Did you see how hot that guy was? I must have died and gone to Heaven.” He sat next to me and grabbed my champagne glass, emptying the contents. “Excited much?” I studied my friend who had a sheen of perspiration glazed on his forehead and his face lit up like Christmas. “I am. Oh, by the way, I meant to tell you, we’re shooting on

Thursday. So, you better make sure you bring your sexy-fuckingkitten look. You and Troy are going to be Hot! Hot! Hot!” Chad’s excitement was bouncing off him. “Wait, what? You model for him?” Sam looked interested and intrigued. “Yeah, he’s a photographer and he’s awesome! He also sort of needs me to do a few stills for his upcoming show which is in— what? Seven weeks?” I squeaked, glancing back at Chad who was busying himself with another glass of champagne. “Definitely, and Sam, you’re invited,” he finally managed to reply to Sam, winking at him. Such a flirt, this Chad! “Wouldn’t miss it. I want to see the ‘sexy-fucking-kitten’ look out of curiosity,” Sam responded with ease. I’m sure he did. What the hell did ‘sexy-fucking-kitten’ look like anyway? I cringed. I’ve never modeled before. Let alone have it shown in front of everyone and have it dissected for everyone’s pleasure. It was mystifying, but I already promised Chad. I couldn’t let him down. “Oh! Don’t mind him. I’m sure it’s going to be nice and appropriate!” “Honey, it’s going to be far from nice and appropriate! I can see it now!” Chad closed his eyes as he pictured it in his mind. “You’re going to be sexual and you’ll have that ‘fuck me’ look.

Troy will be doing the same, touching you sensually. It’s going to be a feast for the eyes. Carnal and raw.” Christ. I needed a drink. “That Troy better bring it or I’m packing my bags.” “Trust me; he’s hot! Though not as hot as you are, Blake!” Why did Chad like to bring Blake into our conversations randomly? Just because the freaking man was almost perfect, didn’t mean he wasn’t capable of being an insensitive prick! Stupid playboy jerk, I thought haughtily. Blake smiled at Chad’s comment before he averted his gaze back to me. He studied me while the woman caressed him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. My eyes flickered to the girl. That stupid woman was seriously lapping it up. She was kissing his neck and toying with his hair. I smirked. Yeah, keep massaging his ego you stupid flirt; it’s already massive and unmanageable. I looked away in disgust and anger from their display of foreplay. Honestly, it was stupid. I didn’t have the right to be angry. I honestly didn’t.

Twenty-two Luce and Toby wanted to go home, so we all decided it was best to leave together. It was two in the morning and I was ready to get some rest anyway. “Want to split cabs? I’ll have you dropped off first?” Chad asked. “She’s coming with me. There’s something we have to discuss.” I looked at Blake agape. What was he talking about? No, we don’t. “Oh, boo you!” Chad pouted. “You lovers enjoy the night then.” He smiled, showing off his perfect white teeth. I rolled my eyes. Seriously, Chad? Everyone shuffled to leave, saying quick goodbyes. I looked around expecting to see his “friend;” however, she was nowhere to be found. “She’s not here.” Of course, she isn’t. He probably just dropped her like a hot potato the moment he realized we were all leaving. Typical. “What do we have to talk about? I thought you were perfectly clear yesterday. There’s no need to rehash it,” I seethed, angry at his ever-changing attitude. Is he bipolar? No, he isn’t. He just

likes brain-fucking. He’s a pro at that. “My flat is only a couple of blocks away. Walking it off would be a good idea, unless you don’t agree?” He peered at me, hands in his pockets, his tone more serious. “Walking is fine. I don’t want to be confined next to you in a cab.” I didn’t mean to be snappy, yet it was irritating that he thought he could just bulldoze his way around. He hadn’t even had the decency to ask if I wanted to go with him, he’d simply assumed that I would. Well, I was curious and I would’ve gone anyway, but all he had to do was ask. We didn’t speak to each other. I would’ve bitten his head off with more snarky comments if he’d tried. He stopped outside his building and held the door for me. The man behind the desk looked up. “How do you do, Mr. Knightly?” “Hello, Scott. This is Ms. Sienna Richards, one of my best friends.” I greeted Scott as we headed for the elevator. He still wasn’t really my favorite person, even with the silence from us both the entire walk home. I was still angry and a little disconcerted by his coveting display with the biotch earlier. Are you sure you aren’t just jealous? What if I am, so what? It doesn’t change anything. I was a bit miffed that he’d started this whole thing between us

then immediately decided not to pursue it any longer. Now our friendship was hanging in the balance. I can’t stop thinking about his kisses, either. He’s incorrigible. Riding the confines of the elevator in utter silence, I couldn’t help it when I flinched from the pain in the soles of my feet. Even if it had only been a couple of blocks of walking with three-inch heels, it had been murderous. I would have given anything to soak in a hot bath. I sighed loudly and he didn’t even bother to turn around to ask if I was okay. Douche. Entering his apartment, Blake flipped a switch and the lights flickered, surrounding the place with a soft glow. It looked too intimate for my liking. Maybe I should bail and just go home? My hands were fidgety. My palms were sweaty. He better start talking before I collapse from a nervous breakdown. I stood in the middle of the living room. Memories of the weekend that I’d spent here with him flashed through my mind. Nostalgia can really dampen one’s emotions , I thought with wry amusement. Blake went straight to the bar, poured a glass of brandy and gulped the entire contents in one go. Why was he stalling? I stared at him, hands on my hips, glaring. “Talk.” “Why are you acting this way, Sienna?” His passive tone rubbed me irritatingly. The nerve! He’s acting like a royal, stupid

jerk! “How should I be acting Blake? With your little display of shenanigans tonight, why are you even surprised? You’re such an insensitive prick!” He moved towards me and his scowl deepened. “Are you fucking serious? I’m the insensitive one? Were you not the one who brought your ex and danced with him while… while I sat there and watched his hands all over you, groping and fondling your body? Right. In. Front. Of. Me.” I felt hot all over. His close proximity bothered me and I was having trouble being coherent. “It took every ounce of my power not to smash his face in. I did that. For you!” Blake’s beautiful face contorted with fury. He even looks hot and sexy when he’s angry. Damn it, Sienna. Get your head out of the gutter! “I didn’t realize you were watching the whole time,” I whispered slowly. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I watched you like a hawk all night.” His face was mere inches away. My heart’s about to jump out of my body, I swear. Snaking my tongue to wet my lips, I gazed up with a questioning look. “Why? You ended things—” Raking his hand through his hair, he spoke, “I did and I meant it last night. That’s why tonight was difficult. I was jealous and it

obliterated me. Seeing you with him, it seriously caught me off guard. I was raving mad, gutted, and I wanted to return the favor by making you jealous.” Cupping my cheek with his thumb, he went on, “I’m sorry for being such an arse. I want you; God, help me.” His voice wavered. “I want you like no other. Give me another chance?” His eyes were sad and full of remorse as they sought my own. Damn that cute accent of his. It melts me like a complete moron. “I’ll be busy in Marbella for the next couple of months looking over the project. I’m hoping this will be enough time for you to consider me—us—again?” I was rendered speechless. Think. Mind. Think. Biting my lip, I found my voice. “Blake… yeah, I think that’s enough time for us to weigh in on if we really do want this.” Blake beamed happily at me. I think I’ve lost all the fight I have in me, all the reasoning my mind can come up with. I wanted to live and feel alive. “Thank you. You won’t regret this, I promise.” Blake kissed my forehead… my cheek… The moment he kissed me, I was done for. There was no possibility of going back. He’s in my blood and I’m fevered. I want him. He drove me with this tug of constant need. Everything

about him, it pushed me into a frenzied state. “Blake, just fucking kiss me already—” The instant our lips touched, I was completely and utterly lost. Deepening the kiss, I let out a loud moan. Blake playfully bit my bottom lip and I nipped him back. He continued devouring my lips while I ran my hand through his luxurious hair and I trailed the other down to squeeze his erection. I wanted him. All of him. Blake growled and tore himself off my swollen lips. He swiftly picked me up and threw me over his shoulder; caveman style. I screamed and laughed loudly at his dominating display. “Put me down, you brute!” He threw me roughly onto his bed. My eyes expanded as Blake crawled predatorily towards me. His eyes were absolutely savage. Kissing my legs, my thighs, my heaving chest, my neck and then locking his lips onto mine again. His kiss was punishing and I exalted from it. I wanted him just as much. This consuming, driving need to simply be with him was distracting. “You’re going to be punished for what you did tonight, my love,” Blake harshly bit out. His hoarse tone loaded with promise, passion. My body reacted wildly to it as I became moist at the juncture of my thighs. My body tingled. “I’d love for you to do it rough—” I moaned

to him. Blake moaned my name as he bit my neck, hard. I gasped from the pain and ecstasy it brought. My insides quivered with anticipation. I panted as his hand trailed smoothly up my leg. When he teased the inside of my thighs, he promised, “Ask and you shall receive, milady.” Hands on my waist, he swiftly yanked me to the edge of the bed, demanding. “Turn around. Let me take off your dress. Leave your shoes on.” He sat on the edge of the bed, scrutinizing my every move. Anything, just don’t stop. My mind was fogged, my lecherous body enslaved. Shrugging off the dress, I let it drop to the floor. Stepping aside, I stood before him with underwear and shoes on. His eyes hooded as they gradually took in my half-naked body, caressing it with those beautiful eyes of his. “Come here.” His voice was gruff, fervid. I sauntered back to the man and halted right in front of him. Blake immediately fixated his attention on my breasts, cupping my heavy tits as he savored them. He bit, squeezed and pinched. My head fell back, moaning as illicit pleasure coursed through my body. Leaving soft kisses as he trailed towards my navel then further south as I arched my back, reveling in the high he was giving me, wanting more. He pulled my flimsy underwear off and instantly cast

them aside. Blake parted my legs and made a rough, throaty groan. “Your cunt is dripping beautifully, my love. You want me that bad?” Licking the moisture off with a swipe of his tongue, my body shook as I held onto his shoulder. “Tell me, how badly do you want it?” Blake’s demanding tone made me stare at him, agape. He was looking at me, waiting. I groaned with frustration. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. ” My confession was rewarded with his sinful smile. I looked at him through my half-lidded eyes as he nipped on the corner of my inner thigh. Touch me, my mind screamed. “Show me, Blake. Want me, punish me; I don’t care. I—” I stopped begging as he plunged his tongue inside me. Moaning as he flickered on the nub and inserted a finger inside of me. My body was hot and humming beautifully from his ministrations. My eyes rolled to the back of my head when he inserted another finger. Pulling in and out of me, circling and hooking towards the spot that was critical for my orgasm. Fuck. Me. My body quaked and I panted his name loudly. “Not yet,” Blake muttered as he pulled his fingers out. Then he traced his wet digits on my lips and stuck them in my mouth. I sucked them, hard, stroking them with my tongue as if they were his cock. He moaned, eyes loving how wanton I looked before him.

“How you drive me crazy, woman.” I pulled his belt and pants down followed by his boxers. I hungered for him, to taste him. I want it all. His swollen, enormous cock sprung free and my hand gripped it boldly, greedily. I stroked him slowly and replaced my hand with my tongue, twirling it up and down, wetting him slowly. I gazed at him as my mouth enveloped his length, gradually and precisely until it hit the back of my throat. “Jesus!” He rasped through gritted teeth, fascinated. Still holding eye contact, I used my tongue and lips to stroke him with ardent speed. He grabbed my head, clutching my hair, pushing me down more. I did as he wished, giving him all I had until he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled me up towards him and laid me gently on the bed. “I want you,” Blake declared as I scratched his nipples with my nails. Growling, he went onto his knees as he parted my legs. He expertly massaged the nub of my mound while I grabbed his cock at the same time, stroking it, sliding it back and forth through my slick, wet folds. His cock feels fucking glorious! I was dying from pleasure, begging him to take me while he massaged my breast and lightly pinched my nipple. The head of his cock was teasing my entrance. I spread my legs wider, silently begging him to end my sweet, tortured misery.

I moaned his name. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to regret it. I promised to wait. I want you to be sure,” he panted while his engorged shaft teased my opening. I groaned; this man is killing me. “Blake—I want you—please—” I heaved as he inserted his engorged head gently inside of me. I completely stopped breathing. His head was filling me slowly, but his size was much bigger than what I was used to. Nervous, I clenched my vagina muscles unintentionally. “Jesus, baby—Fuck! Don’t do that—you’re impossibly tight. I might just explode—” His neck veins were showing, straining as he closed his eyes like he was restraining himself, savoring his own sweet agony. “Bloody fuck… you feel… so beautiful.” He inched himself a little bit deeper this time. He folded my legs and pinned them down with his hands, giving him fuller, deeper access. Thrusting his hips as his cock went deeper inside me. He was enormous and my insides were stretched to their capacity, raw, with no room left. I flinched from the pain. He halted as he sensed my discomfort, cock pulsing thickly inside me. “Are you okay? I can stop if you want.” I shook my head, urging him on. “No, no. Don’t you dare stop!” Blake started to move again. I placed a finger on my clit and massaged it. The gesture made me wetter, making it easier for him

to glide his cock freely. I moaned as he picked up his thrusting speed, taking everything he could. His speed changed. Blake pounded and pummeled harder. “You like being fucked by me, Sienna?” he questioned as he placed my legs on his shoulder. The arch of my hips made it easier for him to access me with thrusting speed. I moaned his name, urging him to fuck me harder as my orgasm shattered through my body. It came in waves and my convulsing body quivered as he pounded a few more times. He yelled my name through gritted teeth as his own orgasm rocked him, spilling his cum inside me. I clenched and squeezed my muscles, milking him to the very last drop. We both continued to pant heavily as he pulled himself up on his elbows and looked at me with a huge grin. “That was out of this world, my Sienna.” Blake kissed me softly. “Now that I know what it’s like with you, I’m never letting you go, ever.” He kissed me harder this time, full of promise. Rolling to our sides, Blake gathered me towards him. “Sorry I came inside you… I couldn’t help it. Are you on the pill?” I nodded and smiled at him. “Why?” “So, I can have you anytime tonight. I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon. I wish I could stay here with you all weekend in bed.” I nuzzled his neck as he hugged me closer. Skimming my arm gently,

he spoke, “What made you change your mind tonight? I thought you wanted to wait on sex?” I stiffened from his question, but he had the right to know. “I’ve always wanted you. From the moment I saw you, I knew I was in trouble. I realized what was at stake—when you walked away from me—” I swallowed. “Regrets can be damning to one’s soul. The ‘what if’ scenario would haunt me forever if I didn’t give you a chance to see where this is going to lead.” Sitting up, fidgeting on the blanket that I held dearly to my chest, I went on, “I have issues, Blake, with trust and being vulnerable. When Dad died, everything I knew and loved was taken away from me. My home was sold, my friends vanished, love and security was gone… my dad’s sister took me in. They didn’t appreciate my interruption in their lives. Her husband and daughter both resented my presence in their home.” My voice shook, but I had to keep going. “I was taunted, threatened, beaten up and tortured by all of them. If I was late waking up for school, they would douse me with a bucket of water. When I didn’t finish my meal, I was beaten with a shotgun cleaner. If I did something that infuriated them, they made me kneel for six to eight hours on a pebbled floor, sometimes more, only in my undergarments. I got my hair pulled. I was dragged and slapped in whatever way you could imagine.” I heaved a heavy sigh. “Never once did I fight back. I was helpless and I was at their mercy. I was

seven; it was either live with them or go to social services.” “Didn’t any of your teachers know about this? Didn’t they notice your bruises?” His voice wavered as he spoke. “Not in the beginning, but after this one incident, I had a lot of cuts on my legs from the metal shotgun cleaner they’d used. I was bruised badly and the cuts were deep, so the blood gushed profusely. I only had band-aids to cover them, but they weren’t big enough. The blood oozed off my legs and stained my socks. That’s when the teachers noticed. My aunt and uncle were called in to school, but they negotiated with them, I guess. They had power and money after all. None of the teachers or the principal ever bothered to mention it again.” “When did they stop?” “Two years ago, when I started dating Kyle and he threatened to report them, but I stopped him. It’s not that I don’t want to see them pay for what they’ve done to me, but life has a way of catching up to us and I don’t want to live with so much hate in me. Hate ruins people and I didn’t want to lose perspective of what I want my life to be like. “I’ve forgiven them, but forgetting is another matter. I still get nightmares from time to time, but I won’t let them win. I just won’t. I’m stronger than that.” Blake hugged me from behind as he whispered softly, “I’m so

sorry. I knew you were hiding something, but never once did it occur to me that you were an abuse victim. People who do that to helpless children are sick, twisted human beings. I feel wretched. I want to ease your pain, but I don’t know how.” His heart was beating erratically on my back. I could tell from his breathing that he was angry. It was a ragged sound. “Just be here. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s in the past; let’s leave it there.” I twisted my head to study his face. Leaning in, I kissed him with all the emotions that were rolling off me. There were only a few people who know about my past— Kyle, Chad and Lucy. Sharing this part of me with Blake was huge, however I needed him to understand when the time came that I may, most likely, fall short of his expectations. Trust was important and I trusted him as my friend, but as boyfriend or lover, we were still working on that. I may not have offered my heart, yet I could offer him everything else. “Just promise me one thing,” I said against his lips. “I’ll give you anything, poppet.” “No matter what happens, be honest. Promise me that, Blake?” With his thumb on my chin, he lifted it until my eyes met his silver, midnight blue eyes. All sorts of emotions went through those

depths and I was left dumbstruck. The gold flecks stood out and the effect was utterly spellbinding. This gorgeous, enigmatic man had irrevocably ensnared me. “I promise that I will always be honest and never lie to you. From now on, I will protect you as my own. You’re mine now; no harm will come to you.” My entire body swelled from his protective and possessive nature. He was a Knightly; it came with the territory, I suppose. Resting my head on the expanse of his chest, I pondered our conversation. “I had a wonderful childhood,” he spoke softly. “My parents were so in love with each other and they both never failed to tell me or show me how much I was loved. When I saw how other parents treated their children, I felt blessed that mine were wonderful. When they died, I was angry because they left me, but at the same time, I was grateful that they were taken together. I don’t know how one would have survived without the other. “Grandfather taught me to have a backbone. To be strong and master my emotions. He once said that once your emotions get the best of you, your rational and logical thoughts erode. A man could be easily conquered, easily defeated, and the valuable idea of focus would evaporate. “He wasn’t easy to live with at first and I rebelled. I was angry at everyone, but I hadn’t realized that he was hurting as well. He lost his son, and we were both grieving. We reached a compromise

and his constant encouragement along with the reminder of my parents held me in check. For that, I am grateful that he never gave up on me. Grandfather’s the only one I have left. I swore to myself that I would never disappointment him.” He paused and stoked my hair. “Sienna, I’ve never done this before.” I looked up. “What? Having someone on your bed?” He smiled and pinched my cheek. “No, you beautiful wench; a proper relationship. What I had was a mutual agreement between two consenting adults, exclusive sex with no strings attached. But this, this is different. I need you to be patient; this is all new to me. I’ll make mistakes, I assure you; don’t condemn me without talking to me first. It’s all I ask.” “Thank you for telling me, Blake. You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say that. I promise, I’ll be patient with you.” He left loud, smacking kisses all over my face as I giggled like a little girl who got her wish from Santa. “I can die happy now; I’ve waited so long. Now, here you are—” kissing my neck and my earlobe “—driving me mad with hunger. You’re this burning need in my blood, Sienna, and I’m ravenous.” Rolling me on my back, he quickly demolished my lips. The only thing that was running through my mind was, mine,

he’s mine, as he annihilated my body with voracious greed, quenching his thirst. His touch was rough and raw, yet the thrill of having him again consumed my very being. When he finally rammed his cock inside with full force, I welcomed it lasciviously. His lovemaking was demanding, hard and harsh like a man starved; I matched his need. There were no words spoken. Our bodies spoke for us. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined this soulconsuming connection with anyone. It was a connection that obliterated my sanity. It yearned with no concession. It was like a hypnotic state of a nonsensical, merry-go-round of emotions with no chance in hell of slowing down. People always spoke about it, but I’d never understood their uncontrollable obsession, until now. I was petrified and scared shitless, however I didn’t have the capacity to walk away from him. It was all or nothing.

Twenty-three “Poppet, wake up,” Blake’s voice trailed along my neck as it sent goose bumps all over my body. I sighed contently. I like being woken up like this. I was on my stomach as he began kissing me across my shoulder and then his kisses trailed lower. Jesus, the man has more stamina than an Arabian horse. I was caught by surprise when he swiftly lifted my butt and placed a pillow underneath me. My ass was raised into the air, hailing his undivided attention. His thumb rubbed my clit intensely as he licked the lips around it and stuck his tongue inside my opening. He groaned loudly when I moaned his name. He was insatiable and I loved the fact that he couldn’t get enough of me. If this is his way of marking me, then mark away, lover! Lifting his body to his knees, he squeezed my ass with both of his hands. He took his sweet time, torturing me with the head of his cock, swiping it back and forth on my clit to make sure I was wet enough. My mouth hung ajar as I groaned from his ministrations. “Blake! Fuck me already!” I was aggravated and beyond aroused! I wasn’t to be me messed with! Thrusting his huge cock, he penetrated me quite roughly; the sudden impact stunned my body for a mere second. I was a bit sore

from his rough handling last night, though my greed for him seized me entirely and erased any thought of the soreness. I moaned as he took himself deeper. My pussy was salivating from the building pressure. He pulled my hips and commanded me to lift myself to all fours as he pounded my cunt harder. The impact of his balls slapping and hitting my wet folds just heightened my burning need. He slapped my ass. Hard. I howled from the impact of his palm as I felt a well of liquid seep out of me. My mind went blank from the excruciating hunger that rumbled inside. “You feel incredible,” Blake said in between heavy panting. Grabbing both of my ass cheeks with his hands, gripping them firmly as he fucked me harder, my body tightened from his animalistic lovemaking. I yelled, gripping the sheets as my body was released from its misery. My orgasm overwhelmed and paralyzed me as his tempo picked up faster than before. “This pussy belongs to me,” he growled loudly through gritted teeth. “Tell me it’s mine. Tell me!” his voice roared possessively. “This pussy’s yours, Blake. It’s yours. I’m giving it to you. Take it. It’s yours,” I breathily panted as his orgasm came to a close. With one last thrust, he stiffened and spilled his semen inside me. He panted heavily, his cheek on the back of my shoulder as he

said, “It’s mine, all mine; don’t you dare forget that!” Loud. And. Clear. ~S~

After Blake’s lovemaking, my lids started to get heavy. I submitted to my body’s demand for recuperation as sleep took over. A loud thud woke me from my slumber. How long did I nap for? I sleepily wondered. I sat up and yawned loudly as Blake entered the room dressed in a black suit, stark white dress shirt and a black silver-patterned tie. My eyes greedily roamed all over him. He looked sharp and utterly delectable. My mouth watered. And he’s leaving for a month and a half. How the hell am I going to survive now? I’ll miss him like mad. The bed dipped as he sat on it, smiling affectionately as he traced my swollen lips with his thumb. “You look flushed and satisfied, my sweet. Your hair’s all sexily mussed up and you look absolutely beautiful.” Gazing contently at him, I smiled like an idiot. “Maybe you did something right, Knightly.” I suggestively licked my lips, my fingers playing with his hair behind his ear. “Your skills are extraordinary; incomparable.”

Every time he smiles at me I feel like I’d just won the lottery. I was such a sucker for his smiles. I was hopeless! Smiling in between his soft kisses, he managed to say, “Oh yeah? Try to remember that in the next few weeks. I’ll try to get away as much as I can, though you have to understand the kind of pressure I have at the moment. I have so much to prove to my grandfather.” He paused as his eyes scanned my face. “Just remember how good it’ll be when we see each other again.” Yes, it will be hella crazy. “Blake, everyone that knows you, knows how incredible you are. Your own investments have been phenomenal. I don’t doubt you for a second. As for your other worries, stop, okay? You’re worrying for nothing.” I kissed his lips to assure him. “All right, I have to leave for Gatwick Airport. I hate leaving you here.” He took something out of his pocket and handed me a key with an embossed, golden, oriental lily with intricate pink and white diamonds around the designed keychain. It was probably about two and half inches in diameter. I swallowed. “Are these real diamonds? Blake, this must’ve cost a fortune!” I stared at him in shock. He simply shrugged. “You’re worth it, poppet.” I looked down at it with confusion as I traced the lily with my

finger. Sometimes I tended to forget how loaded Blake was; this keychain cost probably a fraction of his shaving paraphernalia, but still. We hadn’t properly dated yet. He knew I loved this particular type of lily. The intoxicating perfumed smell and the contrasting colors of pinks were too beautiful to explain. My insides swelled from the thought that he could remember insignificant details about me. “This is the spare key to my apartment. I already informed the lobby about you. It’s your second home now. I’ve been meaning to give this to you since you gave me yours, but didn’t get the chance to. I know how much you love this particular kind of lily so I thought it would be a nice reminder when you see it, hoping that you’ll think of me.” “Thank you! It’s very sweet and a thoughtful gesture, however I don’t need a reminder of you, Blake… you’re in my thoughts all the time.” “Good to know because you’re in mine, every second,” Blake declared, getting up and kissing me one last time. We said our goodbyes and he left for the airport. ~S~

The apartment was silent without him. I took the pillow he slept on last night and inhaled his scent; lemons and the smell of his

intoxicating skin. Maybe I should take the pillow with me when I go. Tempting. I miss him already. Grazing my fingertip on the lily keychain, I flipped it over and was surprised that he’d had it engraved. Cradling it on my palm, I read it slowly. “And one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us.” I’ll be thinking of you, poppet. It was a quote by the famous Pablo Neruda, one of my favored poets. My heart thudded as I traced the engraving. He remembers everything that I like! With his razor-sharp, brilliant mind, I was not surprised that he did. However the thought of him making an effort is a major deal. Bubbles of happiness coursed through my body. He thinks of everything; so far, I’m putty in his hands. He simply knows how to put a smile on my face.

Twenty-four Three days had passed and I was still high on Blake and I didn’t want it to stop. It was even better than a triple chocolate cake and crème brûlée put together. Though I’m sure if you put them all together, I would devour them all with gusto. We’d been relentlessly calling and texting each other. With the permit problem fixed, there was still much for him to get done. His schedule was punishing, yet he still made time to call me every night before he went to bed. Sweet, wasn’t it? I was walking on cloud nine as I entered the restaurant where I was meeting Kyle for lunch. It was a block away from school, so saying no to him when he’d invited me for lunch had not been an option. He was already at a table and stood up as I approached him. The dark circles were gone, his face bright and handsome as ever. He was wearing his usual get-up; jeans, shirt and his rugged Timberland boots. He looked well. I’m glad that his transition in the office had worked out fine. “How are you, baby?” He kissed my cheek before I sat down. Kyle had always called me baby, even before we’d started dating. There was some odd sense of security knowing that he was here with me. I suppose it was because he had been a big part of my life

growing up. “I’m good! What about you? How’s work?” I asked before taking a sip of water. “What’s this?” Kyle asked as his finger pointed at the folded flyer in my hand. He jovially took it, his long, manly fingers prying it open. “You’re looking for a job? Why didn’t you say so?” He peered at me as he popped an olive. I was staring at his mouth. I looked away quickly, a little embarrassed. Damn, he’s still cute and sexy to boot. Are these normal reactions to your still-hot looking ex? I suppose so. I mean, it was merely a month ago since that mouth went downtown on my body. “I don’t know what I want yet. Have to see what’s available. Although I want to work somewhere challenging, you know, a job that I can learn from and apply later on in life.” “Well, why didn’t you say? I’m interviewing for an assistant,” Kyle informed me, smiling widely. “You’re joking, right? Why would you need an assistant, Kyle?” He usually did his own thing. “Hey! Don’t underestimate my abilities. You know I’ve been working for the company since I was sixteen. I’ve earned my position. All I’m saying is that I have a spot available, if you’re not

interested, too bad.” He shrugged slightly as he devoured another olive. “Sorry, I wasn’t underestimating your abilities. I was just surprised. Climbing up the ladder, hmm? I’m happy for you, but as you can see, my class schedule is a little crazy. I don’t see how that could work.” The waiter took our order and placed a bottle of red wine and breadsticks on the table. Kyle poured wine in our glasses while I munched on the olives and breadsticks. I was famished. “The schedule’s going to be flexible. You will be working more at night when I scout during gigs or talk to bands during shifts. You only have to go to the office once or twice a week to do some paperwork. Other than that, you can send emails through your phone when I need you to get some things done.” “Hmmm, are you sure you want me as your assistant, Kyle?” Arching my brow at him, I questioned his sanity. “What if we fight all the time? What then?” “Baby, you forget that it’s me you’re dealing with. For years, I’ve dealt with your PMS and your mood swings.” I choked on my olive, but he kept going. “I took care of you when you were sick, held your hair as you puked your guts out over the toilet, taught you how to drive; need I say more?”

“Fine, I get it. When do you want me to start?” I smirked. I wonder what it’ll be like working with Kyle. He was passionate about his job and I admired that, however there was a lot of baggage between the two of us now. “How does Friday night sound? I need to check out a band that’s playing in Camden.” “Friday sounds bueno! Try not to be such a slave driver, okay?” I couldn’t wait to start work. I had always wondered how it would be working behind the scenes; the process, the thrill of signing a great band. I was dying to know. “I’ll definitely try not to work you to the ground, baby,” he murmured softly. I wonder if Blake will be bothered that he calls me ‘baby?’ Our food arrived and our conversation steered to his job as well as what he had been up to. Stories flowed and we chatted about the people we knew back home. His easygoing personality made it easy for me to be comfortable with him again. If we continued with this kind of progression, our friendship would bounce back in no time. I was confident that it would. We parted after our lunch date and I had to scurry to The National Gallery Museum to meet my class. Today, we were going to learn about Botticelli and his work. I was energized and psyched

that I would get to study it close-up. Last week, I had been awestruck with the works of Jan van Eyck, especially with The Arnolfini Marriage illusionism painting. It was simply unique and his perfect execution of geometrical points and perception were outstanding. Not to mention, his application on the reversed reflection of the mirror with immaculate detail had rendered me speechless. His one-of-a-kind depiction of lighting had also made it extraordinary. I had been intrigued and enraptured. Our class was small with twenty students who were all eager to learn about art and its history. When I got there, the class had already gathered at the far end of Trafalgar Square as our teacher, Mrs. Samantha Collins, checked her roster. She was a charming British lady who talked animatedly with passionate alacrity for anything and everything pertaining to art. Some people had the zeal for it and others were simply apathetic about the subject. I, for one, liked to be absorbed in the artist’s craftiness and mastery. The execution of their imagination in fine, intricate detail was simply gravitating. It was like being transported and seeing it from their eyes. Their hopes, dreams, emotions, their soul and their very being were captured from their compelling, graphic artistry. My ingénue mind was keen to learn and grasp their unrivaled ingenuity. While studying the Venus and Mars renaissance painting, I received a message from Blake.

Blake: What have you been up to, poppet? Stuck here about to head for a meeting. I’m knackered. I couldn’t help turning mushy every single time I got a message from him. I smirked when he used “knackered,” British slang for tired. I was still learning their British colloquialism, but it was funny how I tended to use some of them now. Chad, too, but he’d been here for almost five years. He came here to study after high school and decided to stay when he graduated. He told me that once you fall for London, it was hard to let go. I rushed a reply. Me: I’m at the National Gallery studying. Btw, I found a job! Drink up some of your beloved espressos. I’m sure that’ll help put you back in top form. My phone beeped again. Blake: You were looking for a job? Why didn’t you mention it, poppet? If you ever need money, just say so. Give me your banking details. I’ll have it wired to you immediately. I almost choked on my saliva. Me: No, thank you. Keep your money; it wasn’t the issue. I just want to see if I can explore more and meet new people. I only have school and I hate being idle. Luce mentioned once a few months ago how Blake would give hefty allowances to his women. A week or a month, it didn’t make

a difference since he simply spoiled them rotten. Apart from his god-like handsomeness, he was like the Roman god Plutus incarnated, squandering his wealth and lavishing the over-eager strumpets that were ready and willing for him. If Blake Knightly said jump, they eagerly respond, “how high?” I’m not bitter, much. Honestly, I can’t recall how many women he’d dated since I’d met him; there were countless of them. It was dangerous to think about. A speck of doubt was a speck of venom that would surely poison our budding relationship. We were still building our trust with each other as lovers; my mind could not wander about in the unchartered territory of doubt. With Kyle, I had encountered many instances where women hit on him constantly or “friends” that would try to seduce him while I was not paying attention. It was aggravating to say the least. With Blake, though, it was like comparing a gigantic lake to an ocean. Overwhelming didn’t even cover it. So, what’s a woman to do? I simply pushed it aside and distracted myself with dancing or with a handful of French and Italian pastries. Voila! It works like a charm. Blake: Sorry, meeting just started. Which company will you work for? When do you start? My stomach did a somersault. Should I tell him the truth or skirt around it? He’ll eventually find out. It was better to break

it to him now rather than later. Me: I start tomorrow. I’m an assistant for M.A.T.T. Music. It’s off my major, but too good of an opportunity to pass up. I’m pretty psyched about it! I hit send before I could change my mind. My phone vibrated immediately. Whoa, that was fast. Isn’t he in a meeting? Blake: Isn’t that Kyle’s company? You’ll be working for him? Rubbish. Tell him you’re going to quit. I’ll get you a job somewhere suitable. He’s not serious? Screw you . He could shove his demands somewhere else. I wasn’t budging. Me: Don’t dictate my life! My mind is capable of making rational decisions. If you’re not happy about it, well too bad; deal with it. If he’s going to think I’ll be complacent like his previous women, then he can think again! I shoved my phone back in my purse, infuriated with his attitude. I’d rather get back to studying Botticelli paintings than deal with His Royal Highness. My phone vibrated again, but I ignored it. Let him simmer and fester. He deserved it.

Twenty-five Blake

It had been a hectic day full of meetings, video calls and now, it seemed it was going to get even better. Amelia Mendez was in the middle of her presentation when my Blackberry vibrated. Everyone noticed, but I didn’t give a damn. My mood wasn’t going to be messed with or they’d end up getting fired. Amelia smiled and proceeded. She’d been giving me a lot of blatant come-hither looks. She was certainly beautiful, but I’d been subtly declining her advances. I’d turned them all down since Sienna became mine. Sienna: Don’t dictate my life! My mind is capable of making rational decisions. If you’re not happy about it, too bad; deal with it. Christ! This woman’s impossible! How can she think that working with Kyle would be all right with me? Me: I made my feelings perfectly clear concerning that cretin. I’m being rational. I can get you a job anywhere, name it. Kyle has motives. I just want you to be safe; that is all. I miss you, poppet. I placed my phone back in my pocket and waited for her reply.

Ten minutes passed and she still hadn’t. She was obviously ticked off. I’d give her time to calm down. It was evident to everyone within sight that he wanted her back, but his loss had been my gain. I wasn’t as feebleminded as he was. He hadn’t realized how special Sienna was, however I did. I’d waited gallantly for almost nine months. I wasn’t going to let him snatch her away. Hell. The. Fuck. No. That first night I had seen her at Toby’s party, I had immediately been bewitched. She wasn’t the type of woman I was usually attracted to, but, Christ, any man would have to be blind not to be captivated by the exotically golden/green-eyed beauty and her lush curves, especially that toned, succulent ass of hers. Her body was just perfect; long wavy mane, C-cups, small waist and a nice rounded, pert bottom. She was the kind of woman who could make a man groan as she passed by. She was lethal to all hot-blooded males in her vicinity. I was shocked after I had been introduced to her and had made the realization that she was not superficial, instead she was quite a sincere person. She was a breath of fresh air with enough sass, wit and sweetness melded into her goddess beauty that I had instantly wanted to know more about her. I couldn’t get enough of her. When Toby had seen where my eyes had wandered, he’d

warned me to back off. He’d mentioned that she was in a very committed relationship with her childhood sweetheart and there was no chance in hell of breaking them up. They were in love and would marry someday. So, I had retreated. How could a man compete with that? Love was anathema to me. I had seen my parents in love, but never had I experienced it for myself. Yet, I couldn’t stay away from her. I was drawn to her; hook, line and sinker. So, I settled for her friendship. When our friendship had flourished, it made me want her more. We had a lot in common and she was fun to be around, but I had to keep my desires buried when she was near. I quietly lusted from afar for months as I practiced the art of restraint and placed a harness on my feelings. When she broke the news that Kyle had cheated and started seeing someone else, I was triumphant and my mind was set on having her. My plan faltered when she decided to go see him after what he’d done. I let her be. If closure was what she needed, then closure was what she’d get. Had I known at the time what that visit would result in, I wouldn’t have let her go. When Lucy casually mentioned that Sienna was back early, how distraught she was and why she was distraught, furious didn’t amount to what I’d felt then. The impulse to see her was imminent and I made a dash to my flat to get her spare key. I let myself in the apartment, ready to confront and berate her; however, when I’d

opened her bedroom door and had seen her sleeping so soundly, all thoughts vanished. It pained me that she’d slept with him, but it didn’t change the fact that I still wanted her more than ever. I had to tread carefully when pursuing her, though all my good intentions of taking it slowly had vanished when she’d taunted me in the car; when she had spoken in Spanish. I knew the language fluently, but when she purred in Spanish, I had been flabbergasted. I wanted to fuck her right then, yet I did as she asked and waited. Then, when she broke the news about Kyle moving here and she needed to help him, I was conflicted. I wanted her, but she was still attached to the man. That night at the park, I was at odds with myself. I wanted her; however, I couldn’t bring myself to ask if she was still in love with him. If she was in love, how in God’s name could I compete with that? I did what I had to do; I walked away. My Sienna didn’t make it easy for me, though. She had to drag that cretin to the club and flaunt him as he groped her right before my eyes. Roaring jealousy floored me and ripped me apart. I was done for. I knew then. I knew that if I didn’t possess her, I would be haunted by her forever. They say life was about taking risks, right? My sanity was at stake; the decision had been made.

That same night, when she finally gave herself to me, something deep inside me had changed. A soul-shifting alteration that had touched the very core of my being; Sienna had done that, unbeknownst to her. The meeting ended. I thanked everyone as they departed and scampered back to their offices. Amelia sauntered towards me, placing her hand on my chest; a bold move for a bold woman. I met her three months ago when I made a quick trip down here to oversee the new branch, along with the new project. I was attracted to her and she had easily given in to my advances without hesitation. For two whole nights, I had enjoyed her body. However, seeing her now didn’t do anything for me. Although she obviously wanted to pick up where we’d left off. “Señor Knightly, what time will you need me to be ready for the gala tonight?” We were both going to represent the company and she was my plus one. It was all business and nothing else. She was a daughter of a prominent family in Spain. She was good at her job and she was a great asset for the company. It also didn’t hurt that she had vast connections in the country. “Be ready by six. You can go home and get ready. I’m sure we’ll be fine without you for the rest of the day,” I said calmly, cocking my head quickly and going back to studying the paperwork I had in my hands. She leaned a little closer and grazed my cheek.

Her perfume was heady and I wanted to get away. “I’ll be more than ready for you. See you tonight, mi amor,” she purred and then sashayed her tight-clad body out the door. Running my hand through my hair, I made a mental note to tell her I was seeing someone else. She seemed oblivious to the fact that I had declined her offers, several times. She simply kept on coming nonetheless. Christ, that woman’s going to be trouble. Releasing a heavy sigh, I went back to my office, sat on my desk and stared at the photo of the woman who had irrevocably bewitched me. It was a picture I had taken the day after making love to her. That night had been one of the best nights I’d ever had. She had definitely been worth the wait. When I’d woken up and seen her next to me, I had to keep a memento; to freeze that moment in my mind. She was everything that I’d ever wanted in a woman and more. I had grabbed my phone and taken the picture. Her hair was disheveled, lips slightly parted and the sheet barely covered her breasts. She looked so peaceful and absolutely breathtaking. Something tugged inside of me the longer I stared at her. Christ, Knightly, you’ve got it really bad. Pulling out my phone, I checked for messages or missed calls. I got a few from friends and work, but none had come from her. I squeezed the bridge of my nose to ease some tension, and

then buzzed the intercom, barking for Luke, my assistant who was hired a week ago in London, to come inside my office “this instant”. “Yes, Mr. Knightly?” the composed, blue-eyed, blonde male asked. “Can you check my schedule? Tell me when I’m free so I can visit London.” After a minute or two, he came back again with the company iPad and checked the calendar. Clearing his throat, he spoke, “Next week, you can leave Friday afternoon, but you have to be back early Sunday to make it for your golf meeting with the Mayor and other investors.” “Fine, make sure the pilot knows. I want to leave at four and get there by six. Do it before you leave today. That will be it, Luke. Thank you.” “Good day, Mr. Knightly.” Fuck! Another week until I see her? Fuck!

Twenty-six Sienna

“Owww,” I yelped in pain when my tongue got burned by the scalding hot coffee. I’d been all over the place and my mind had decided to take a vacation somewhere in Marbella. The first thing I’d done this morning was check my phone for calls or messages. I was crushed when he never called or texted last night; he usually called me before he went to bed. I huffed. If he was still mad at me, okay. I could deal with that, but what I couldn’t fathom was someone telling me what to do. If he wanted to be with me, he had to change. I was not yielding to his demands. I was on my way to Chad’s studio in Camden town geared in an all-black ensemble; black cami, black pants and black pumps. It definitely matched my mood and I was in terrible need for girly time. I knew Chad was a man—technically speaking—however he was a woman at heart. His usual laissez-faire attitude would help pick up my mood. Pulling open the door to his studio, I let myself in and called out his name. The main floor was his actual art studio where he did some of his shoots and his touch-and-go penchant for painting. He only painted when he was stressed out, though. His main focus,

pride and joy was photography. “In here, baby love!” Chad yelled behind the black drapes and I strolled over to him. My shoes clicked loudly against the hardwood floors as I walked and my eyes scanned the room. The first thing I noticed was black. There were a lot of black drapes lining the room. The second thing I noticed was his equipment. There were a lot of scattered props; black chaise lounge, black covered bed, huge mirrors, metal working table with a lot of strategically placed work-man tools and an all-black Harley Davidson Hot Rod sat in the middle of the room. I dauntingly stared at the bike. Am I going to be on that thing? Or the guy named Troy? “Like it? It’s such a sexy bike. I pulled some strings to get a loaner. It’s going to be fabulous! Troy’s here somewhere.” Chad looked around and called out to him. A man emerged from another black curtain draping on the other side of the room. He was dressed in a low-rise, all black Armani micro-modal trunk. Holy Shit! My eyes landed on his bulging mid-section and then grazed over muscled thighs and up towards his torso. Whoa, was that an eight pack? I’ve never seen one up close. He had the bad boy, dark hair going on. It was a little long, brushing over his jaw, unruly, but it gave him more

appeal and a little edge. Dark hair, chocolate eyes and a sexy grin as he saw me check him out from head to toe. Chad cleared his throat as I looked away embarrassed. Crap. “Troy Scott, meet Sienna Richards. Sienna, this is Troy,” Chad introduced us jovially. “Hello, Sienna. Finally! I get to meet you. Chad’s been talking about you non-stop,” the hot hunk said with a dark, deep voice in his British accent. “Great to meet you, too! I hope Chad spoke kindly of me. He can get carried away sometimes,” I said with enthusiasm. He’s hot, all right! However my man is even sexier and hotter by tenfold. So, stop staring at his body, hmmm? “Enough with the pleasantries and let’s get down to business, shall we?” Chad’s business voice echoed in the room. Okay, here goes. Chad directed me behind the drapes where Troy had come out of and gave me a silk-ruffled bikini panty, a small, black silk robe and four-inch, black suede boots that sat two inches above my knees—fuck-me boots he said—to change into. He immediately applied heavy, black eyeliner, false eyelashes and cherry red lipstick. Troy was leaning against a table when I came out. I didn’t even look at him because I was a little apprehensive about my lack of

clothing. He was a model; I was sure these things didn’t bother him, though to a novice like me, it was nerve-racking. “Okay, Sienna, I want to get a few shots with you first. Can you stand in front of the mirror, cup your tits and take off your robe, please?” Chad already had his camera hanging around his neck and he had several strobes, umbrellas and reflectors all ready. Holy, Shit! Calm your nerves, Sienna. Just have fun and don’t think. Music played in the background; “Teardrop” by Massive Attack. The beat certainly made it more sensuous. I walked over to the huge mirrors against the wall and my reflection stared back at me. Yup! I look like an over-sexed, confident woman. Just pretend you are for today. Own it. I can do that, right? Chad asked me to turn around as I slowly slipped off my robe. He toyed with my long hair and asked me to open my legs a little wider while cupping my breasts. Click. Click. Click. “Stare back in the mirror and stick your tongue out over your upper lip. You look hot, Sienna.” Click. Click. His next shot had me lying on my stomach with my legs crisscrossed. “Lift your butt a little higher.” Click. Click. “Beautiful. Now look at me. I want you to look into the camera with ‘I want you’ eyes.” Click. “That’s perfect love.” Click. “Bite your bottom

lip and look at me through your lashes. Think lustful thoughts. Give me that provocative face. Perfect!” Click. Click. Click. “Tilt your head to the right.” Click. Click. “Troy, you’re on! Get on Sienna’s back!” Oh. My. God. Breathe, woman! I heard him approach. Dear, me. “Sienna, lift your butt again and pull your hair to one side. Troy, please get on top of her. Put one hand on her waist, the other on the bed to hold yourself and smell her neck.” Troy simply said “okay” like it was no big deal. I was sure it wasn’t to him. The bed dipped and I suddenly felt the warmth of his muscled body over mine. His covered penis was pressed on my ass as he gently placed his face near my neck. Dear God! I feel hot all-over. “Sexual perfection,” Chad said. Click. Click. Troy’s breath was hot on my neck and it took a lot of power in me not to shiver. “’Kay, now nibble her ear lobe.” Um, hell! This is torture. The minute his tongue captured my lobe, I let out a soft moan. FUCK! “Beautiful, guys! Open your mouth a little wider, Sienna. Troy, hold her waist tighter like you can’t wait to have her. You’re seducing her into submission and will fuck her mindless!” Click. Click. Click. “Change positions. Get on the chaise lounge. Troy, sit

comfortably, and Sienna, go straddle him while you take off the boots, please.” I guess I will just have to get over Troy being up close and personal with my boobs then. I walked over to where Troy sat, hoping that he’d be chipper so that it wouldn’t have to be so awkward, but nope, he was unsmiling as I stopped opposite of him. Tucking my legs slowly on his hips and straddling him, he gave a deep groan. I didn’t dare peek at him. “Troy, kiss her neck and push your chest to her tits. Sienna, look straight at the camera and grab his shoulder.” Wow, this is intense. I’m going to strangle, Chad. Fuck! Blake won’t be happy about this. Click. Click. Chad went behind me and took a few more pictures. “Sienna, I want you to lift your butt a little and then plump down on Troy, will you? Wrap your hands on his neck and look at me, love. Make the other men jealous.” Click. Click. “Perfect. Troy, grab her ass with both hands.” Click. Click. Click. He took a few more in different angles before he ended the session. “Thank you, Troy, Sienna. I’ll see you both Sunday at four?” “Yeah, sounds good,” Troy replied as he smiled at me. Now he smiles, after the shoot. I wanted to cover my boobs, but it was pointless. He had an up close and personal introduction to my lady lumps. I gave him a

non-committal smile and he escaped to go change as Chad handed me the black robe. I immediately slipped it on my barely-clad body. “Thank you, baby love! I knew it was a bit hard for you to do this, however you were fantastic! Behind the lens, you looked like you’ve done it for years. If I were straight, I’d already have a hardon just by looking at you.” I laughed. “It was a bit hard, but I’m doing this for you. You owe me big time!” “Yeah, yeah. Now, go change so we can have dinner.” I waited until Troy came out before I went to change back into my own clothing and I didn’t even bother to take the make-up off. It fit perfectly with my all black get-up. Chad and Troy were chatting like they were old buddies. I ignored them as I fished for my phone inside my purse, but no messages from Blake. Does he plan to ignore me forever? Chad invited Troy to join us for dinner, but he declined because he had an early shoot tomorrow. “Bye, Sienna. You were great!” Troy said. I reddened. “Thank you! You were, too!” I mumbled. I can’t talk about it without getting shy and agitated. Ha! I followed Chad to his loft upstairs. He was making chicken pesto as I pulled out a bottle of white wine. “Chad, what’s up with the soft porn shoot?” Glaring as I poured us both wine.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Baby love, it was hot! Troy was so turned on and you were, too.” Cocking up a brow, he confirmed. “We all heard the moan.” No, shit. “Uh, duh? The man was sucking and nipping on my ear! Any woman would’ve reacted the same way. Throw a nun in there and she’d have the same reaction!” I tried to justify myself. Sipping half of his glass in one gulp, he said, “I guess it helped a lot that he’s got a marvelous body to boot, ey?” Chad sighed dreamily, thoughts wandering about Troy, I was sure. He’s hopeless. “Well, I suppose his body’s pretty great! He does have that bad boy thing going on.” …and not to mention his nice ass? I chuckled softly. “Guess it’s not that big of a deal since you’ve surrounded yourself with hot men lately, hmmm? There’s Kyle, there’s Troy and our god of sexiness, Blake. Must be nice, baby love!” He motioned for me to give him the pepper grinder and I placed it next to him. “Kyle’s a part of my past and we’re working on our friendship. I hope working with him will help it recover, you know? As for Blake, he’s still too intense for me, but I want him.” While he was making the sauce, he asked me about Blake. I told him the story starting from the moment we’d gotten back to his

apartment that Saturday night. “I knew it! Blake’s face said it all. Can you believe it? Blake is your boyfriend! How can you get all the luck, Sienna? I feel faint every time I see him smile. How do you stand it? He’s such a marvelous piece of eye candy! I wish he had an identical gay twin!” He pouted as he fanned his cheeks. It was true; we both drooled over Blake! Who wouldn’t? He was just über fucking yummy! I went over to hug him and promised that I’d dish out all the delicious details to keep him at bay. He bounced like a five-year-old. I sat back in the chair, feeling a bit down. “It’s great and all, but he hasn’t contacted me for a whole day now. I’m worried. What if he found someone else? He wouldn’t have to look too hard.” “Do you blame him? He has the right to be jealous. Kyle wants you back and he feels threatened. After all, Kyle’s your first. He wouldn’t dump you like that, though, love. It’s Blake we’re talking about. You’re precious to him, even as a friend. Now that you guys are dating, you mean more to him. If it worries you that much, why don’t you call him? He’s probably waiting for you.” “I could call him tonight, I guess,” I conceded. “Splendid! Now, that’s settled. Tell me, did he tell you he loves you yet?” His question caught me off guard so the wine went the wrong way and I was coughing mildly. Uh, what the fuck?

“Shut it, Chad! It’s too early to be talking about love. This is about having fun and enjoying my youth! It was merely lust, not love; big difference there, Sherlock.” Was I in love with Blake? That’s a little extreme. We barely just started. Love is not on the agenda. “Open your eyes, young lady! Have you seen how Kyle and Blake look at you? Their faces mirror each other. Fine, let’s agree that Blake might not be there yet, but he’s sure as hell making the trip to ‘I Love Sienna Island’ a little quicker. Trust me; I studied the guy’s reaction that night, baby love. They’re going to fight over you. Kyle was the love of your life. Blake is the present lover in your life.” Chad looked at me thoughtfully. “The million dollar question is, if push comes to shove, who would you choose?” I didn’t answer him as he continued to make the pasta because I didn’t have a response. I went to the living room and stared out the window. Kyle didn’t know about Blake, yet. Once he found out, I knew he’d be devastated. Will he fight for me? If he does, am I willing to hurt him? I shuddered. I loved Kyle. I always had. I mean, who wouldn’t? He had been my life before. Do I love Blake? No, not that way. Although, my body has its own mind when he’s around. With Blake, I felt something… different. He evoked something profound

within me. That was the intense part that I got scared about. He was too much and Kyle was familiar. ~S~

It was past eight-thirty when I got back to my apartment and I was extremely exhausted, but I wouldn’t go to bed until I’d spoken to Blake. The photo shoot had been interesting, to say the least. I rehashed everything in my head as I showered and brushed my teeth. I’m sure when Sunday comes around, it won’t be so awkward. Dressed in my pastel pink, silk slip, I sat on my bed and dialed Blake. After a few rings, he picked up. Thank you, Jesus! “Sienna,” Blake breathed out my name. Hearing his voice made my insides twist. “Blake, you haven’t been texting or calling. Are you still mad?” My voice was low and calm. My fingers toyed with strands of my hair. Don’t be; I’m going crazy here. “I was giving you time to cool-off, poppet. Have you missed me?” Smiling like an idiot, I gushed, “I miss you. I miss you terribly. Are you still planning to visit this weekend?” “I can’t come out this weekend, poppet. I’m sorry. My

schedule’s chaotic. Hopefully next week, if I can manage.” I let out a disappointed sigh. “All right, promise to let me know when you are sure it’s definite?” “I promise, poppet.” I could hear him smiling. I could picture him with that beautiful smile as he spoke on his cell. He ended up talking about the galas and other parties he had attended for work. He asked me about the photo shoot with Chad. I gave him a cutout, subtle version and convinced him that he had to wait for the exhibition. After an hour of talking, we decided to call it a night. I twisted and turned on my bed, while sleep eluded me. Thoughts of Blake—his voice, his smell—lingered through my mind. My body ached for him. My hand slowly went south as I relieved myself, thinking about the man who had hounded my thoughts endlessly from the moment he’d kissed me.

Twenty-seven Since I didn’t have classes on Friday, I slept in longer. Somewhere in my foggy mind I thought I heard Lucy buzz someone in. I guess she’s having friends over. My mind started to drift back to slumberland when someone knocked. “Yeah?” I croakily called out, still not moving from my position. “Morning, love! Sorry to be a bugger, but you have a delivery; a few of them, actually.” A delivery? I haven’t ordered anything online lately. I dragged myself out of bed to check where they had come from. There were three enormous, lime-colored, crystal vases with two dozen of my favorite oriental lilies in each one. I took the card that was attached to the first and opened it: I want you. My face glowed and beamed. I took the second card: I miss you. The third one said: I worship you. I’m definitely charmed. There was another knock on the door and Lucy opened it straight away. The deliverymen stood there with a gigantic box of pastries that had the world-renowned Pierre Hermé label. Two of the men went past us, heading directly to the living room with the box in their hands. I didn’t see the man standing in the back of the

others, so I jumped out of my skin when he greeted us. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to frighten you, but I’m looking for Ms. Sienna Richards?” a tall, lithe blonde with clear blue eyes asked Lucy and I. Um, who is this man, again? He’d never said. “Um, that would be me. Who are you? Sorry, you didn’t introduce yourself.” I gave him a confused looked. “I’m Luke Scott. I work for Knightly Industries as Blake Knightly IV’s assistant. I was ordered by Mr. Knightly to come here.” Interesting. The deliverymen started to dissipate, exiting one by one, however Luke Scott stayed. He was smiling with a twinkle in his eye. Hmm… “I think the room is ready. Let’s all go and see.” Luce and I shared a what-the-fuck-is-going-on look as we followed Blake’s assistant to the living room. The coffee table had been transformed into a French pastry wonderland. Different flavors of authentic macarons were neatly organized in a towering pastry stand. Another tower was made of cream puffs, éclairs, napoleon, small Parisian cakes, fruit gateau, and pan au chocolat, to name a few. There were three silver platters of assorted chocolates and a bucket of champagne chilling in a silver bucket next to the coffee table and a coffee pot. My eyes greedily roamed the contents as my stomach growled.

Right on cue, Blake. “Enjoy, ladies. Also, Ms. Richards, I was ordered to give you this.” He took a small, soft-leather box out of his breast pocket. “Uh, thanks. Um, why don’t you join us, Luke?” “The company jet is waiting for me in Gatwick actually. I have to get back to Marbella as soon as possible. There was a lot of traffic in Paris so I’m running late. There’s an important meeting set for three this afternoon and it’s already quarter to twelve, but thank you, Ms. Richards. I’ll let my boss know how delighted you are. I didn’t realize how romantic he could be,” he said with a wink. “Wait, did you just say you flew to Paris? To buy pastries?” Goodness gracious. “Yes, that was what Mr. Knightly ordered. I really must get going. Have a good day, ladies.” He promptly left without much ado, leaving Luce and I staring at each other. A shrieking laugh came from Lucy, who was obviously as excited as I was. “Sienna, what the hell have you done to poor Blake? He’s obviously smitten. I knew it! It took longer than expected, but Toby predicted that Blake had his eyes set on you. I’m happy that he’s making you happy.” “You could say that, I guess. It’s just in the early days, but I do like him a lot.” Okay, I was a bit embarrassed that I hadn’t told her myself first.

“No wonder women clamor for him. Look at this! He had his assistant jetting off to Paris to fetch a few boxes of freshly baked pastries for his beloved. Oh, Sienna! It shows how much you mean to him when he goes to such lengths. Isn’t that romantic?” she said dreamily. It’s more than romantic. It’s downright disarming me. If this is his intent, then he’s doing a stupendous job! Luce and I sat as we poured each other drinks, champagne for her and coffee for me. We savored each pastry and compared which one was the best. It was an orgasmic dessert heaven. “How I wish Toby would do something like this for me. I mean, not on the same scale of grandeur—the man doesn’t own private jets—yet just as sweet and romantic.” Did I hear a tinge of sadness? I might just be imagining things. They’re crazy for each other. I took a sip of my coffee, eyeing her warily. “Toby loves you and he has his own way of showing it. Everything okay with you guys?” She let out a sigh and limply sat back with angst written all over her face. “It’s been rather off for the last week. Something’s wrong, but he’s not telling me. I’ll give him a few more days to tell, if not, then I’ll have to find another way.” Uh oh. “Whatever it is I’m sure he has a good reason. He could be

swamped with work, you know,” I tried to ease her worries. She shrugged and got up. “We’ll see. Anyhow, I have to go meet a few of my schoolmates for a project. I’ll help you clean up when I get back, okay? Tell Blake I enjoyed his impromptu.” She went over to kiss my cheek, but I hugged her instead and gave her a little squeeze. “It’ll be okay,” I whispered in her ear as she nodded and headed out the door. It was apparent that she was bothered about it. I hoped she would be okay. The soft-leather box sat closed next to the tower of macarons. I was dying to know what was inside. I jerked it open. It was a bracelet. A lightweight, gold chain design with an oblong, gold medallion and a big, diamond-studded heart that had tiny diamond-studded B.K. initials on the bottom right. Huh! Why would he put his initials there? Is this his way of laying it on Kyle when I start work tonight? I placed the bracelet back on the table, scrambled to get my phone in the bedroom and dialed Blake. When he picked up, I didn’t even let him say hello. I was ready to chew him out. “Knightly, you’d better explain to me and you’d better explain well! Tell me why you would give a present with your initials blatantly standing out? This present didn’t just land here on

the very same day I start working with Kyle for absolutely no reason, did it?” I was seething. If it were possible to have steam coming out of my ears, the room would have been muggy. “Poppet, calm down. I wanted you to wear something that’s from me. I commissioned it a day before you told me about your job. Is it possible that I wanted Kyle to stay back? Yes, I do. Do you ever plan on telling him?” his placid tone irked me somehow. “I’ll tell him, but not yet. It’s too early for him. He barely just got here. I’m not going to risk the possibility of him spiraling out of control again.” Why was he pushing the issue? I would tell Kyle in a month or so… I think. “It’s too early for him or for you, Sienna?” I stopped breathing from his tone of voice; he was controlling his own anger, though only barely. There was some noise in the background. “Mi amor, we have to go soon or we’ll be late!” the accented voice of a woman spoke in the background. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. “WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?” I yelled when I heard him speak to the woman, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. My eyes started to water. Was he cheating on me? “Oh, so now you pay rapt attention to me. I see how this is going, Sienna.” “Blake, are you seeing someone else? You have to tell me!”

My voice cracked in pain. “Why? So you can go back to Matthews again? Do as you wish, Sienna. I have to be somewhere important. I’ll speak to you later.” He hung up without even saying goodbye. Less than an hour ago, I had been basking in Blake’s sweet sentiments. How the heck had it unfolded like this? Okay, maybe I had over-reacted a little bit there. I shrugged it off. There was no point dwelling and crying. I had to meet Kyle in three hours and start work. I’d just have to busy myself and not think of Blake for now. I would deal with my emotions tonight. In a little over an hour, I was ready to go and I still had an hour and half to kill. I went to my drawer and pulled the card and key Marie had given me out. I’d just surprise Kyle with my punctuality. Since we were checking out rock bands tonight, I had to look the part… well sort of. I let my hair down, put on heavy eyeliner winged at both corners, lots of mascara and rose pink lipstick. I chose a hot pink, Hervé Léger bandage top, leaving my back purely bare, and black-fitted jeans that accentuated my butt nicely with hot-pink suede pumps. I made a last jaunt to the full-length mirror to assess everything and, suffice to say, I looked pretty hot. Suck it, Blake! Placing all the essentials in my black clutch, I headed out the

door.

Twenty-eight I let out a slow whistle when the cab dropped me off at the address I’d given him. When Marie said “company apartment” I thought of an actual apartment, not a gated Victorian home. I took out the card Marie gave me and punched in the code on the keypad attached to the wall. I heard a little metal screech and the gate opened slowly. Was Kyle even home? I had acted out of impulse and had totally forgotten to call to see if he was there or not. When I got a little closer to the door, I heard loud music streaming from the window upstairs. Jeff Buckley, yep, he was home. Fishing out the spare key, I opened the door. The home was decorated in black, white and silver splendor and the effect was gorgeous—a little cold—but still chic and gorgeous. I found the stairs on the left side corner and went to go hunt down Kyle. The music came from the room at the end of the hall that I assumed was the master bedroom. I stopped outside the black door and knocked, but no one answered. Clearing my throat loudly, I let myself in. The room was decorated in baroque contemporary with accents of sapphirecolored designs. My eyes landed on the table next to where Kyle

slept. My breath caught when I picked up a nine by twelve picture of us. The picture was taken a year ago. We were at Zuma beach watching the sunset. I sat in between his legs and took a bunch of shots. I was looking straight into the camera as he kissed me, smiling. What bothered me was the fact that I was glowing with such happiness; it was the look of love. I placed it back slowly as I jumped from my name being called out. “Sienna?” I turned around and was shocked. Kyle had beads of water dripping down his body with only a black towel draping his lower half. Oh! Fuck. Me. Shit! Why, oh why did I put myself in this position? My heart thudded like mad as the memories of that night in Santa Monica flashed through my mind. I stood there, frozen, and couldn’t utter a damn word. “Can I just say that, that top does your back incredible justice? You look so hot! I have my work cut-out for me tonight if the musicians start clawing you, baby.” He strolled to where I stood and his freshly showered smell engulfed my senses. “I had time to kill so I decided to stop by and use the key your mom gave me. I hope that’s okay?” I mumbled, distractedly. “Baby, you’re not serious! Of course, it’s okay; we’re

practically family.” What did he mean by that? Was it because we grew up together or because we agreed to get married at the age of twenty-seven? “I’ve never seen you with this much eyeliner, but it looks good on you; very edgy and downright sexy as hell.” “Would it be too much to ask if you could put some clothes on?” I asked as I stared at his bright hazel eyes. “Too many memories for you, baby?” I shook my head. “We both know you’re lying, though I’m going to let that slide.” “Thanks. What’s with the picture frame? Why did you bring it here?” His eyes darkened as he leaned closer, his mouth against my ear. His chest was pushed against mine. “Because we were happy. Because we were so in love and the thought of losing you left a big hole in my heart. I needed a constant reminder—something to believe in—that we’re going to get back together. We were extremely happy and perfect for each other. It’ll dawn on you someday that you are meant to be with me… and, when that time comes, I’ll be here… waiting for you.” His eyes had a little moisture in them. Oh, Kyle. Please don’t do this. Not tonight. I wiped the corners of his eyes and he smiled widely. “Did I tell you how much I love you today?” Am I forever doomed to be pulled back and forth? “Kyle, you know how I feel about this. I already told you, please, seeing you like this… tears me inside. It was so much easier

when you had Brooke. I didn’t have to dwell on it much.” “I know, baby. No worries, as I said, I love you and I’ll wait. However long it takes until you want me back.” Jesus, this has got to stop. “What if that never happens? What then?” “I know what I want. I’ll take my chances.” “Whatever.” He gave me a quick kiss and left to go change. ~S~

The venue was on Chalk Farm Road and Kyle ushered me in with a tight grip on my waist to an empty booth. As soon as we sat down, he excused himself to go to the bar to order some drinks. I guess part of the job was drinking, having fun and skillful negotiating abilities. I hoped his binge drinking days wouldn’t affect him being around alcohol and drugs. The music industry was famous for that. After that dreadful scene in his bedroom, he acted like nothing happened and I silently thanked him. We ended up ordering pizza and discussed the band that was playing tonight. The Cold Conflict was the band’s name. We listened to their recorded songs earlier and I was impressed. They sounded like Lifehouse and Jeff Buckley put together and I was actually super excited to see them play

tonight. How great is this job? Kyle was going to talk to them after their set and hopefully sign them on at the end of the night. The place was starting to get packed when we arrived. I guess the band was going on very soon. I checked my phone and was surprised I had five missed calls from Blake. Call him back or ignore? Do I really want to spend the next few hours wondering? Pressing the call button, the other end started to ring. The place was starting to get noisy so I had to duck a little bit lower. I didn’t want to go outside since I was technically working and I didn’t want to take advantage of the fact that Kyle probably wouldn’t mind if I did take the call outside. “Sienna, thank you for calling me back! I got worried when you didn’t pick up my calls.” The relief was evident in his voice and my stomach got the usual flip-flop from hearing it. “Yeah, um… do you mind if we talk later? It’s getting really noisy in here.” Of course, Kyle’s timing was perfect as he slid into the booth and glued himself next to me. “Who are you talking to, baby?” he yelled against my ear, loud enough for Blake to hear. The violent growl I heard at the other end of the phone made me flinch. Fuck-fuckity-fuck. “Baby, who’s that?”

I gave Kyle a death stare. “I’m talking to Blake.” “Tell him I said hi. TCC will be on shortly; you should call him back later when we’re done,” he shouted over the growing noise. “Sienna, if you hang up IT’S OVER!” Blake said with a snarl, but it cracked at the end. Is he going to be this jealous all the time? We’ve been fighting non-stop. “Listen, Blake, I’ll speak to you later, okay? The band’s about to start. Bye.” I ended the call without hearing his reply because I might have cracked from the pain it would have caused me. TCC started to set-up. They were tuning and adjusting their instruments. The front man introduced himself as Will and thanked everyone for coming out tonight before they started playing. After a couple of songs, my phone vibrated. Message received from Blake Knightly, it said. I opened the text and a picture downloaded. It was a picture of a beautiful woman. She had ebony hair and arched brows, creamy skin and striking blue eyes with a complimenting, seductive smile. Her pose was purely inviting to the person taking the picture; Blake. She had a red silk gown on that flaunted her boobs. The formal outdoor setting in the background suggested that they were at an event. Who is this woman? Did she work for him? My hands

shook violently as I read the message attached at the bottom. Blake: I guess we can both have fun tonight. How about it, Sienna? She already said yes. She’s always willing and eager to be serviced by the boss. No, no, no, no, no. My head spun. I felt sick. I excused myself from Kyle who was giving his undivided attention to the band. He asked where I was going and I pointed at the restroom sign. The bathroom was empty. I stood in front of the mirror for ten minutes just staring at my reflection. My mouth wobbled, yet I did not and would not cry. The message tore me to pieces, but I had the rest of the night to hold it together. If he wanted to fuck another woman, then I couldn’t stop him. Good riddance, over-indulgent playboy! A hysterical laugh bubbled out of me. Funny how it was just this morning he said he worshipped me in that damn card? I clasped my hands on the sink, my head bowed. I chanted in my head: Breathe. Clear your head. Focus. Breathe. Clear your head. Focus. Breathe. Clear your head. Focus. After twenty minutes in the bathroom, I decided to go back to the table before Kyle started looking for me. When he saw me, he gave me a thumbs-up and I smiled at him. The first set ended and

Kyle gestured that he’d go meet the band and bring them around to the table. I smiled at the platinum Patron sitting on the table. Bless the man who still knew my drink! I poured myself a double shot and cringed lovingly when I sucked the lemon slice. Work face, on, I commanded myself to function. Smile. They’re heading over. It was a difficult thing to do, especially when my heart was breaking, however this was work. Not only would it be unprofessional of me to break down and cry, it would also reflect badly on Kyle. Yeah, it was horrible, but this was life.

Twenty-nine The band consisted of five rowdy men. They introduced themselves as Spike, Roger, Brandon, AJ and Will. Will immediately slid next to me and AJ on the other side, the rest filled in, leaving Kyle sitting on the right end. The guys were fun to be around and, in the span of five minutes, we were all sharing jokes and laughing out loud. Everyone helped themselves to the drinks on the table. After Kyle noticed they were settling in, he shifted the conversation to business. He broke down the benefits of signing with them and the advantages and opportunities M.A.T.T. Music could provide. The guys each had their own sets of questions and Kyle responded to each one with great detail. Kyle was pretty amazing in action. I didn’t know why it never occurred to me to follow him around when he worked back in LA. “So Sienna, where do you come into the picture?” Will suggestively asked. “I’ll be helping with correspondence between your lawyers and managers and confirming bookings for gigs and shows… the usual lot.” “I like that! I like knowing that we have you on the team,” he said, winking at me.

What’s with men and their constant flirting, seriously? “Hey! We’re up for the second set in five,” AJ, who had thick eyeliner on, announced to the group. They grumbled and slid off the booth. “Save a dance for me later?” Will asked in a hushed tone. “Sure,” I murmured. Will winked at me before he took over the microphone. “Did he just wink at you?” Kyle’s disbelieving face made me laugh. “I don’t advise mixing business with pleasure, Sienna.” Yes, sir! “I won’t. No need to worry about that.” My purse taunted me, but I wasn’t going to check it, just in case there were more pictures waiting to be opened. I poured myself a couple more shots before TCC ended their second-set. Everyone applauded and hollered at them. They were pretty great. The music changed into upbeat dance music and people started to fill the tiny space that was the dance floor. Will came over immediately after exiting the stage and we both agreed we’d take a shot before dancing. Dancing with him was lively and entertaining. I was having so much fun that we ended up dancing to three songs. When we got back to the table, the men agreed to sign, but needed their manager

to speak to Kyle about money. Kyle was ecstatic and promised to call their manager the next morning and hopefully, by Monday, the contract would be drafted, if all went according to plan. With business out of the way, everyone relaxed. Kyle excused both of us with the reason of “work” and needing to talk outside. My lungs happily welcomed the fresh air. I was tipsy and buzzing quite nicely, just what I needed. Kyle pulled me to the other side of the building that had fewer people chatting and hanging about. “You okay, baby?” He caressed my cheek softly. “Yep, I’m stupendous!” He pulled my body closer to him and his warmth felt comforting. You’ve really lost your marbles. I closed my eyes, feeling the hot, coursing effect of the alcohol in my body. Blake. Blake. Blake. My mind was fighting the images of Blake and the woman flashing in my head. Kyle captured my mouth softly. His kiss was gentle and not fevered or demanding like Blake’s. I sighed softly as Kyle’s smell penetrated my nostrils. It reminded me of high school, the beach and yesteryears. He closed in on me and pushed me gently against the wall. He cupped my breast and squeezed it. That instantly made me snap my

eyes open. Don’t do this to yourself. Walk away before it gets messier. Think. Brain. Think. I placed a hand on Kyle’s chest. “I can’t do this with you right now. I’m sorry. We’ll talk about it soon, but not tonight.” “Does it have anything to do with Blake?” he hissed. He was grinding his teeth so loudly it made me cringe. “Possibly. I’ll call you, okay? I’m going to go home. I don’t feel too well.” I kissed him on the cheek before he pulled me to him, gave me a tight hug and told me again how much he loved me. He wanted to get me a cab, but I convinced him I needed a minute or two to clear my head. He finally agreed and went back inside where TCC was waiting for him to party with them. Leaning against the building, I closed my eyes. How about I just go home and wallow? Maybe I can drink myself to sleep then I wouldn’t have to think at all. “Sienna, is that you? It is you; what’s wrong? Did that man do something to get you upset?” My eyes flickered to life, looking for the owner of that voice. It didn’t sound familiar to me. “It’s Troy, from Chad’s photo shoot Thursday.” Oh, yeah. “Hey! Fancy seeing you here! And no that man didn’t get me upset, there’s just so much going on with life, that’s all.” I looked

down and studied my black lacquered nails. “Let’s get you some good food then you can spill your problems, deal?” Boy, that made me smile. “You’re crazy! Go back to your friends, Troy.” “I’m not leaving you when you’re sad. Let’s walk to the place. It’s only a couple of blocks and you can make a decision then, if you want to go in or not. How’s that sound?” “Okay, deal.” He doesn’t even know me and yet he’s willing to listen to my problems? That’s odd and unexpectedly very sweet of him. We were both consumed with our own thoughts as we walked. He stopped outside a pub, hands in his pockets. “What’s it going to be, Sienna? “What the hell. I don’t want go home this early anyway.” We ordered hamburger sliders, fish and chips, beer for him and a margarita for me. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until after the food was set on the table. We talked, ate a bit, drank some and talked some more. I learned that he was recently divorced; six months ago. His wife cheated and he caught them in action in their marital home. He’s probably still hurting too. Being cheated on can be traumatizing; not to mention the big dent something like that

puts in your ego and self-esteem. Since he spilled his own secrets, I spilled mine. I gave him the cutout edition of Kyle cheating, Blake sweeping in, Kyle moving, Blake going ballistic and the beat went on. “Do what makes you happy, Sienna. No one knows what that is except you.” “I know.” I smiled, nudging him lightly on the arm. Before I knew it, the time was hitting half past one. He insisted on taking me home since I had drunk three more margaritas. We took a cab back to my flat. He asked the driver to wait for a few minutes. He insisted that he see me to my apartment door, not the building entrance. We rode the elevator silently and I checked him out for the first time that night. He was wearing a leather jacket with jeans and he was very good-looking. Why did his wife have to screw around? He was one of the good guys. Stepping out the elevator, we stopped outside my door as I fished for my keys. “Thank you for tonight. You really made my night. When you’re feeling down and out, I’ll take you out for beer, fish and chips and sliders to make you feel better.” He chuckled softly. I slid the key in the lock and opened the door. He handed me his phone. “Program your digits, in case I take you up on that offer.”

I stifled a laugh as I punched my information in. I put my name down as ‘Sexiness is Sienna’ and we both laughed when he saw what I did. He kissed my cheek softly and left.

Thirty My throat was dry and I was absolutely parched, the wonderful effects of alcohol. Oh heck! It was dark and I was too drunk to flick the switch. Water. I need water. I staggered to the kitchen and poured myself a tall glass of agua. My phone vibrated. Oh, hell. I went to flick the light switch in the kitchen as I located my phone. Kyle. Grudgingly, I took the call. “Hello?” “Did you get home safe? Why did it take you this long to pick up?” Honestly, I was not in the mood to explain anything. “Sorry to make you worry, buster, but I just got home.” “What, just right now? Where the heck have you been?” “Out with a friend. Listen, I’ll call you tomorrow. Sleep. Going to sleep now. Peace,” I mumbled. Who explains when they’re drunk, anyway? Hangover’s going to be a bee-otch tomorrow. I swallowed the rest of my water and slammed the glass down on the counter. “Having the time of your life?” A deep voice came from somewhere in the blackened section of the living room.

I jumped, shrieking as the shadow came out of the darkened room. Blake. Oh, for the love of God! Did he have to come here wearing his tux? He looked like what dreams were made of… and that woman had probably enjoyed him quite thoroughly, too. The thought made me want to puke. “For crying out loud, what is it with you brooding and scaring people out of their wits? How long have you been waiting?” “I’ve been here for about three hours waiting for you to get home. Who was the man outside the door? He’s British, certainly, not Matthews,” said the observant man. Where does he get the nerve to just barge in here after what he put me through before? “None of your business,” I said deadpanned and turned to flee, wanting the security of my room. Blake yanked me back by my arm and cornered me at the kitchen counter. Oh my, he smells extra delicious tonight. My drunken body was already betraying me. Fuckin’ A! “What the hell are you wearing? Do you see how bare your back is?” “WHO CARES ANYMORE? Go back to where you came from and LEAVE ME ALONE,” I screeched at him while trying to

free my arm from his titanium-like hold. “No.” “What do you mean ‘no?’ Go back to that wretched woman in the picture you sent me. Go fuck each other’s brains out until you both can’t walk anymore. I. Don’t. Care!” “What did you do with that man, Sienna?” I stared him down, not willing to answer his question. “Fucking answer me!” I kept still. I wasn’t going to. That picture and message he’d sent earlier wreaked havoc in my thoughts. Images of him kissing her and touching her body the way he did mine caused my stomach to free-fall. I’m too drunk to be doing this. I was so drained from all the drama that was disrupting my life my sanity teetered at the edge of a cliff. When I tried to pull my hand away again, he let me go. I sprinted to my room and sat on the bed, slightly shaken. Why did he have to show up here? To continue this farce after he slept with someone else? My lips wobbled. I bit them—hard—until I tasted blood. I felt him watching me from the doorway. He was at the foot of my bed in a few strides, lowering himself and sitting on his heels. He placed his hands on my knees. I was speechless as I watched the man, shivering.

“Please…” Blake whispered. His voice heavy, anguished. With one word, all of my erected barriers fell apart. My mind boggled with everything that happened. “Explain that message.” If it were another man, I would’ve just shut the door on his face. He never failed to get under my skin, past my defenses. He knocked them down until I was barefaced and unmasked. “That was immature; I admit that. It was wrong of me to inflict the kind of pain you associate with your ex, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts of you with him. When I heard his voice in the background; it pulled the trigger. I was livid, delirious, unhinged with anger. I slept with Amelia a few months ago—” My heart literally stopped beating. Oh, no. Don’t do this to me. I tried to move, but he was like steel, holding me in place. I was stuck facing him. “I haven’t touched another woman since you became mine. I swear on my dead parents, I would never—ever—do that to you. You make me so happy; I get paranoid thinking that I’ll lose you to someone else. It’s terrifying. Forgive my offenses, my weaknesses, my failings, my flaws. I only want to be with you.” I jerked his arm and lightly shook him. “Promise me, you won’t hurt me that way again. I don’t think I can get past it and forgive you if you do.” He got up and sat next to me and pulled me in his lap, cradling my body.

“I give you my word. I promise it won’t happen again. Today’s been hell and I couldn’t go through it anymore without seeing you. I left the event an hour after I got there and flew straight to you. I’m glad that I did. I’m sorry, poppet…” I placed my hands on the back of his skull and pulled his lips to mine. The boiling, fevered kisses that I yearned for so many days turned into reality; and boy, were they better. I’d never hungered for any other man like this. His kiss lit me on fire. My body couldn’t get enough of him. I shifted, straddling his hips and rubbing myself on him as our kisses became violent and uncontrollable. Blake… show me… need me… love me… my thoughts spun as we groaned together. He ground my hips tightly against his. My body was freefalling into the abyss as his hands became urgent. I wrenched my hands from the back of his head and tugged the ends of my fitted bandage top. “I want… more…” I didn’t know what I meant by that, my emotions were all over the place. Since when did I want more? We took off our clothes in haste until we were skin to skin. Every touch made me weaken. He circled my waist and lowered me on the sheets, his body covering mine. The room was dark, but the streaks of light through the windows showed enough for me to clearly see his body. Our faces were inches apart as we stared at each other. By the

way we were looking at one another, one could tell there was something going on. I couldn’t speak. I was afraid of what would come out of my mouth and I didn’t think I was ready to commit myself that quickly, but at the same time, I couldn’t seem to control how I reacted to him. I can’t fall for him. It will end me. However I had; I loved him already, and I needed to stop denying it. My thoughts rammed into realization. I love him and I didn’t even know I was falling in love. His impassioned eyes zeroed in on mine. Fuck! Don’t let him see it. Please. “Sienna…” Blake said in a husky voice. What bothered me was how he said my name; it was loaded with meaning. He kissed me slowly and passionately. Gone was the man who wanted me with wild abandon. Gone was the man who handled me roughly like a savage animal that couldn’t survive if he didn’t get inside me any sooner. The man tonight was soft and gentle. His fevered kisses remained intense, but were soft, unguarded. He kissed my body with thorough tenderness and when his tongue touched my slick folds; his eyes never left my face as I came apart in his mouth. He took his time as he kissed my stomach and slowly made his way to my breasts, fondling, sucking, and biting. With his body ensconced over mine, he kissed me with pure

yearning and honesty. My mind shut down and I let my body speak to him as I linked my arms around his neck, my legs hooking behind his back, drawing his body closer. He broke off the kiss. Our eyes fixated on each other. His drew me in and I couldn’t look away as I felt his cock gently hover over my opening. He never looked away as he coaxed himself gently inside me. He watched me gasp as he filled me to my core, kissing me tenderly as he slipped in and out of me with unhurried focus. He’s making love to me. My eyes burned as I got choked up with emotion. Blake… I love you… I whispered in my head. I was kissing him lovingly, baring my soul to him. My hands held his ass cheeks, my nails digging into his skin. He went deeper and I moaned against his lips. His pace started to increase as I lifted my hips, meeting his thrusts. He pulled away from my kisses as his eyes bore into me, watching my frenzied response to him as he took my body to another level of ecstasy. I was panting and running out of breath. I felt my stomach tightening and clenching, readying for an orgasm. His body started to tense as he began a swifter pace. His teeth found my neck and bit it. I yelled out his name as my orgasm rocked my body off its foundation. His heavy breathing was hot on my ear as his hands

gripped my hips, grounding them into place, as his body demanded its own release. He said my name with a guttural growl deep in his throat as his body tensely. I felt his cock twitch and then the gush of his semen filled me. His lips found mine again and kissed me tenderly; my heart contracted. He pulled out of me and gathered me close to him. I was spent and exhausted from the intense lovemaking. My breathing started to even out and my eyes fluttered closed. His heartbeat was beating wildly against my back as he tightened his hold on me, kissing the back of my neck. “I love you,” he whispered against my ear. I squeezed my eyes tighter. I love you, too… His bare admission tore my insides. I evened out my breathing, pretending I was asleep. ~S~

I woke up with a start when I felt the cold air hit my back. I rolled to the other side, reaching for him. I hugged his body from behind. I nuzzled the back of his neck, inhaling his scent like a starved woman. I love him… My hand trailed over his broad shoulders and down to his abdomen. The ridges of his six-pack, toned abs teased my fingers. My hand moved lower and found his semi-hard penis. Damn, even

asleep his cock is huge. I stroked him gently as it started to come to life from my hasty ministrations. I smiled. Well, hello, bad boy. I gently turned him on his back as a soft sigh came from his lips, he was obviously still asleep. I smiled devilishly as I stared at his glorious body. I want him… and I’ll be damned if I have to wait for him… my aroused state can’t wait for him any longer. I took him in my mouth, teasing him with my tongue and, at the same time, bringing it to the back of my throat with determined suction. He moaned. I sucked him until his cock was rigid with throbbing need. I moved my body so that I was over his hips and straddled him, guiding his cock with my hand and coaxing it slowly inside me. I moaned with satisfaction, my God, he feels so good. I recoiled slowly as my insides adjusted to his size. This position made the filling penetration mind-blowing and grippingly intense. I moved slowly at first, my stomach quivering from the intensified strokes of his penis inside me. My palm sat on his chest to balance me as the other cupped my breast. The heightened carnal intensity drove me to ride him harder. I felt his hand pinch my nipples and I growled with delight. “Take what’s yours, my love,” Blake ordered, husky and aroused after my ministrations, making me even more crazed and hungry.

I want it all. Leaning back and placing my hands on his thighs, I rode his cock with fervent need. My mind shut down as my body convulsed around him. I yelped out his name softly as I recovered from my climax. He held me down as he ejaculated. Lifting my head off his chest, I stared at his delighted face. “Fuck that was amazing. You’re one hell of rider, poppet.” I laughed huskily as lay down next to him and nuzzled the crook of his neck. “You’re welcome.” “I thought I had died and gone to Heaven when I woke up to you moaning with your eyes closed, enjoying my cock for your own greedy pleasure.” “I can’t seem to get enough of you… I don’t think I ever will,” I admitted softly against his neck, my eyes heavy with exhaustion. “As do I, my love, as do I,” his sleepy voice murmured.

Thirty-one It had been almost five weeks since I last saw Blake, but we kept each other updated with everything. I was soaring high because our relationship was growing steadily and I loved him a little bit more every single day. I hadn’t told him how I felt. I wasn’t ready for that yet. It would be hard to take it back once I told him and I didn’t want it to be held against me. The morning after Blake left for New York, I met up with Chad and Troy for the shoot. It lasted around five hours and even though I was only wearing skimpy underwear, Troy made me feel at ease as we laughed and joked around. Though there were times in the shoot where his eyes became stormy when I draped my body over his or when he groaned as my nipples touched his chest. He was hot, to be sure; who wouldn’t be attracted to an extremely hot man like him? But I didn’t let this bother me because I knew, deep down, there was only one man I wanted. I eased Blake’s doubt by wearing his bracelet and convincing him that I didn’t want anyone else. Kyle warily eyed the bracelet, but never asked about it. He knew I was dating Blake and I was grateful that he never asked and didn’t push the issue. Our friendship strengthened over the weeks and I felt like we were almost back to where we were before. Almost.

I hadn’t seen Chad since the last shoot. He’d been busy preparing for his show. My time was consumed with school and working with Kyle. Luce and I barely caught up with our lives since school demanded a lot of her time with projects and applying for internships. Today, Blake would be arriving from New York and I couldn’t wait to see him. He was scheduled to arrive late in the afternoon so we’d see each other at Chad’s exhibition on King’s Road. I’d primed my body for this long awaited reunion and I couldn’t wait to get him alone. I’d been scouring the shops for a perfect dress for the last week. I hoped I got the reaction I was aiming for. My hair was in a high ponytail. I applied make-up carefully with light eye shadow and thick eyeliner winged on the both ends. I then swiped two coats of mascara on both my upper and lower lashes, making my eyes look a fiery, piercing golden green. I highlighted my cheeks with bronzer and finished it with candy pink colored lipstick, dabbing lip-gloss on my bottom lip and puckering to get the full effect. I went over to my bed and took the nude, designer, bandage dress that fitted my body like a glove; leaving little to the imagination. It was short, maybe a few inches below my butt and the top part pushed my breasts up, giving me a hefty amount of cleavage. I slipped on my nude designer Rolando pumps and

skimmed over my appearance in the full-length mirror. I look good, I thought as I admired how the dress showed off and complimented my figure. I wanted Blake’s eyes to pop out of their sockets when he got a glimpse of me. There was a soft knock at the door indicating Kyle’s presence. Grabbing my clutch purse, I headed out to meet him. “Coming,” I called out as I closed the door behind me. His face looked dumbstruck as he stared at me. I smirked as his eyes took me in. Hopefully, I will get that same reaction from Blake. “Goddamn, baby. You look like a piece of Heaven.” Rolling my eyes, I grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the elevator. “Let’s get moving, lover boy; I don’t want to be late or Chad will cook us for dinner.” We were five minutes away from King’s Road as the cab weaved through the traffic. I fidgeted uneasily in my seat. Which images did Chad choose? He’ll have fifty portraits up for display, but said he needed twelve from our shoot and the rest was filled with his other models. What if they look stupid and awkward? I grunted my frustrations. Kyle reached out for my hand, clasped it with his and placed it on his lap. “Baby, it’s going to be fine. You’re worrying for nothing,” he assured, smiling brightly as he kissed my hand. The cab stopped outside the gallery. My heart was in my throat and I was anxious to see the images

Chad chose. We entered the building and a uniformed waiter with champagne flutes greeted us. I took two flutes and gulped them, one after the other, like they were water. Okay, now I’m better. Kyle shook his head in amusement. I looked around me and saw Chad’s perfect artistry at its best. Wow, that friend of mine is hella gifted. One of the images was of a woman at the repair shop as she posed provocatively, barenaked. Another was of a man and a woman on the hood of the car making love in a cemetery. My eyes took in the portraits. An image of a woman holding a guitar looked captivating. Another image was of a woman with two men posing illicitly against each other, but it was done in a way that provoked sexual thoughts and yet, pulled off the look of making it chic. I passed by them, feeling all hot and bothered as people gathered in admiration. It was sex, sex and more sex. Sex blanketed the whole gallery as people buzzed about Chad’s eye for beauty. As provocative as they were, he made the images look sophisticated somehow and not raunchy. He managed to capture that essence of the moment where you feel like you’re there with them and you’re watching them in the act. It was beautiful. “Baby love, finally, you’re here! What do you think?” Eyeing

me, cautiously, gauging my reaction. “Chad you’re a genius! These are quite amazing! Tonight’s your big break, baby! You had better not forget me when you go global.” I hugged him tightly as my heart soared for him. I knew how long he’d been waiting for someone to acknowledge his work and after tonight, he’d be the toast of London. “As if! There’s no way a person can forget you, baby love. You have a way of making people remember you.” Do I? Huh. Smiling, I hugged his waist. “Who’s all here? Luce and Toby?” “She texted me a few minutes ago. She said they’d be here in ten to fifteen minutes, tops.” The gallery was filling up with a lot of artsy people. Where are the portraits of me and Troy? I looked around for Kyle, but he was nowhere in sight. “If you’re looking for Kyle, he’s at the encore of the show. Come, I’ll show you.” Holding my elbow with his hand, he guided me towards the end of the room and made a quick left. He showed me to another room, which was dimmer and darker. The only lighting came from the ceiling directly above each of the twelve portraits of Troy and me. My breath caught. The images were impressively stunning. The woman in the picture was seductive, confident and in-charge of her world. I was

rendered speechless. Chad placed an arm around my shoulders. “Now do you see what everybody else sees, baby love? Never let the past dictate you. Don’t berate yourself because you aren’t tall enough or you don’t have a slimmer figure. You’re beautiful, inside and out, scars and all. I wanted these images to capture how I see you—how we all see you—so that you’ll realize how special you are. You’re a strong woman, love, no matter what life throws at you, you always come out braver than before. It’s time to be free of the shackles because if you don’t, the Browns win. Look around you. This woman is bold and fearless.” I got choked up as I turned my body and hugged him with all of my heart. “Thank you,” I whispered in a wobbly voice. He was such a good friend and I would always remember what he had done for me. I would never forget it. “That’s what friends are for. Let’s not ruin our make-up, hmmm? Go over to Kyle.” He pointed to the far right corner. “I have to greet my other guests in the other room.” I nodded and whispered “I love you” as he kissed my forehead and whispered the same words back to me. I went over to where Kyle was standing and staring intently at my image. I was on the bed with underwear on and my boobs were covered with only a drape of a black silk sheet. One leg was on the

bed with the other leg slightly bent above it. Both of my arms were above my head, lips parted, as I stared provocatively at the camera. Oh, that looks hot! Kyle was silent as he took in the image. I didn’t say a word because he had a pained expression. Odd, not the impression I would’ve thought it would provoke. “That morning in Lake Tahoe, you looked exactly like this when I came out of the shower and I thought to myself, how lucky am I? I have a gorgeous woman who loves me to bits. I felt blessed. Seeing this portrait makes me see what I had lost again.” Fuck, I didn’t expect him to say that. That was the morning after we had made love for the first time. I remembered seeing him coming out of the shower and my heart had happily swelled at the sight of him. Fuck-fuckity-fuck. This night was becoming an upheaval of emotions. Kyle’s, I could do without. I felt shaky inside and I didn’t know what to say to him, so I stayed quiet. A squeal broke from another room. I smiled at Lucy’s enthusiasm. I kindly excused myself to meet Lucy in the other room and he smiled sadly at me. Fuck, Kyle. Don’t do this to me, my eyes pleaded. I gulped some air after I left the room. I found Luce and Toby

talking animatedly with Chad. I went over to join them and we all gushed over Chad. He looked so happy and my heart contracted seeing him like that. A few people came over to get him, wanting to introduce him to some other guests. All three of us went to check out some other portraits. I chuckled throatily as I found Lucy’s face flushed from the images before her. “Sienna Richards,” a booming, deep voice behind me announced. I turned and found Troy smiling elatedly. “Troy! How are you?” I squealed from surprise. I hadn’t seen him for a month and I was excited. I gave him a tight hug. “Are you trying to give me a cardiac arrest? ’Cause you’re about to accomplish that if you come any closer with that miniscule dress on.” I reddened. Holy guacamole! Was he flirting with me? That’s a first. “Cheeky tonight, aren’t we?” I jested back at the handsome hunk of a man. His gaze fell on Lucy and Toby who were watching the exchange with interest. “Hello, I’m Troy. Sienna’s counterpart in the shoot.” They all shook hands and Luce smiled brightly at the sight of him. Troy looked like his usual hot self, scruffy and rugged with his well-worn jeans and black leather jacket. He had a tad bit of extra dangerous edge when he puts his hair in that tiny ponytail. He’s

such a badass. One time he arrived at Chad’s on a Ducati 848, black on black motorcycle. I swooned then. Hot guy and a hot piece of motorcycle; totally too HOT to handle! When Toby and Troy started talking about football, Luce whispered in my ear. “He’s quite a hot hunk, Sienna! He seems too keen on you. Just be careful. Blake might not be too happy about that. You know how he gets.” Yes, I do know, but he has nothing to worry about. I love him… but he doesn’t know that… yet. “So, where are these infamous portraits of yours?” Toby asked and I pointed them to the other adjacent room. When they left, Troy moved closer with a smile that made his eyes dance. Hmmm, what’s he up to now? Amused, I had to ask, “What?” Troy shook his head. “Your pictures were really great. Chad managed to capture your vulnerability and your sass at the same time. I actually asked him to print and send me all twelve portraits, in a smaller scale of course.” Get out of here! No way! “Why would you do that? You liked ’em that much?” “You just sizzled and besides, we looked good together. The chemistry was palpable in those pictures,” Troy said, looking me straight in the eye. My mouth ran dry. No shit. I remembered during the shoot, I would tremble from his extra close proximity. Or a moan would escape me when his breath reached my ear or when

his chest grazed my nipples. A waiter passed by and I turned around to get a flute of champagne. Sipping the champagne soothed my scattered nerves. My back was turned to Troy. He came up behind me, almost touching, but not. I felt the heat of his body as his hot breath touched my ear. My eyes were glued to the champagne flute in my hand as his voice filtered through the music being played. “I want to see more of you. Think about it. You know my number.” With that neck hair-raising encounter, Troy parted and joined his friends who gathered close to the entrance where there was a lounge area. I blinked a few times. What just happened? Did he just ask me out? No shit, Sherlock. Draining my drink, I went to look for my friends when a dark figure across the room stopped me in my tracks. I went over to him, but my excitement halted when I saw his scowl. “You came!” I stammered. “Yes, I was invited if it escaped your notice.” I deserved his cold treatment, but it didn’t help lessen the pain that gnawed at my heart. I went closer, cradling the sides of his face and kissing his beautiful, sexy mouth for a good minute and released him. Ouch, he barely opened his mouth. “You have no idea how much I’ve

missed you,” I told the man who had me on tenterhooks as I took in how handsome he looked in a dark grey suit. He thawed a little bit, just a wee bit. “Blake! Good to finally see you emerge from your tycoon lifestyle!” “I wouldn’t miss your debut, Chad. You should know better.” Touched by Blake’s support for him, Chad held his hand close to his heart. “Thank you. You don’t know how much your support means to me. Lover, would it be okay if I steal your girlfriend for a second? There’s a bunch of people who want to meet her.” “Of course, as long as you don’t let her out of your sight. Men are eyeing her like vultures ready to pounce.” Damn. Way to go, Blake. Blake asked where my portraits were and Chad pointed to the room as he guided me to a group of artsy people chatting. They were painters and photographers, some independent and some who worked with famous magazines and celebrity portraits. It was an impressive group and I enjoyed our conversation. They wanted to know if I would model for them. I kindly told them that I’d think about it. After spending a good fifteen minutes with them, I excused myself to find Blake. I passed Lucy and Toby who were talking to another couple. Toby smiled, but Luce stopped me. “What’s up?” I

asked her. “Blake and Kyle are having words. You should rush before they rip each other’s heads off.” I was about to turn left when an angry looking Kyle sprinted by, almost knocking me over. “Baby, you okay? I didn’t see you. I’m sorry.” I held his arm as I looked at him questioningly. “I’m leaving. The show was great. You looked amazing, baby. See you Monday at the office, okay?” He gave my lips a peck and sprinted towards Chad. I entered the dimly lit room and found Blake standing in the center of it, eyes staring blankly at a portrait of Troy and me. “Blake?” I touched his arm lightly. He took a hold of my arm and linked it to his, lightly tugging me, making me follow him out of the room. Don’t panic. We’ll work it out. He said he loved me. He did, didn’t he? So, why hasn’t he said it again? Instead of turning right to go back to the main room, he kept going forward to where I presumed the offices were located. He dragged me to the last one on the right. Opening the door, he flicked the switch, closed the door and locked it. It was a decent sized office with a big desk and a leather couch sitting across from it with a coffee table that had magazines splayed neatly across. I turned around to face him and saw he was leaning against the gray door, eyes closed, hands in his pocket and his nose flaring; a

clear indicator that he was furious with me. The portraits, of course. I didn’t want to argue about that. I did it for Chad and I don’t give a hoot if he’s mad about it. I love him… I do, but he just can’t bulldoze his way around me. “Sienna, this is not how I pictured my reunion with you after almost six weeks of not seeing each other. I’m being rotten, I know, but I’m being eaten alive with jealousy. I can’t think or breathe without pain. Was that the man who took you home the same night when you started working for Kyle?” “Yes…” I admitted in a soft whisper. “Did anything happen with you and this man? Anything at all?” I shook my head. “No, apart from the intimate poses, no. Not in that sense.” His eyes fluttered open; the intensity of liquid silver dominated his midnight blue eyes, the usual gold flecks gone. The constant shift of his eye color depended on his mood and I was frozen in awe. He was compellingly riveting and spellbinding to those around him. Does he know the kind of power he has with his looks alone? Does he know he can make me fall at his feet with a smile? Or is it the fact that he can slice me in two with a mere glance? “Are you attracted to him?” Am I? I swallowed. He is hot, but enough to tempt me away from Blake? No, I didn’t think there’s a man out there who could.

“Yes, he’s good looking. Am I tempted? No. I only want you, Blake. I’ve only ever wanted you from the moment you kissed me. There’s only one you and I’m not going to jeopardize us over asinine curiosity.” He moved past me and leaned slightly against the mahogany desk. “Come here,” Blake commanded in a soft voice, but with an edge of something I couldn’t pinpoint at the time. I did as he asked and stood before him, however he didn’t even try to touch me. “Show me I’m the only one. Prove it.” Prove it, he said. “Fine” and I would. I had been aching for him. If playing charades would get him to be inside me, then who was I to decline his request? Slowly unbuckling his belt and his pants, I pulled his boxer briefs down all the way to his ankles. When his cock sprung free from the confines of his briefs, my insides melted from the sight of it and a flow of liquid oozed freely from my pussy. I knelt before him and took him in my mouth. His sharp indrawn of breath pleased me. I sucked his shaft all the way to the back of my throat and back out again; all the way to his engorged head, repeatedly. His large hand pulled my hair and he rasped for me to stop. He commanded me to prop my elbows on the desk and to spread my legs open. I did. I felt him behind me as he pulled the ends of my dress and hiked it all the way above my butt. His finger traced the

outline of the soft lace that covered my ass and then all the way to the front where he rubbed furiously. “You only get wet for me, Sienna?” His tone told me he was still angry. “Only you, Blake,” I croaked as his finger drove me insane, my mind totally incapable of thinking. “Are you lying to me?” What the fuck? How many times did I have to tell this infuriating man? “Why the hell would I lie to you? There’s no one else I want more than you.” It was so difficult to concentrate when his finger wouldn’t stop rubbing me. I was trying with all my might to get it together. A harsh sound came from him as he ripped my thong in two and flung it to the floor. He didn’t tease his engorged head on my opening like he usually did; he just inserted himself with one powerful thrust and growled, “Santo Cielo! I’ve been dreaming about your silk tightness for so long. Forgive me if I can’t control myself. God help me, but I can’t stop wanting you.” He held my hips tighter and pounded me very hard. His force was titillating and I lifted my ass more so that he could get his fill. My invitation was awarded with another growl. He lifted me so we were both on our feet as he cupped my breasts and used them to fuck me harder. “Baby… you feel so good… don’t stop…” I said in between

moans. He bit the spot where my shoulder and neck connected. I yelped from the searing pain his teeth caused. Blake pulled out and swiftly placed my limp body on the wide mahogany desk. Hooking my legs around his hips, he plunged inside me again. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was watching his cock pummel me and I had never seen a sexier look on his face. I groaned as he shifted his position and picked up his pace to a grinding speed. “I only want you… only you…” I panted, out of breath. His hands held my shoulders and both of his thumbs pressed firmly on my throat. His dominating position made the effect of his fucking even more powerful. “You belong to me. I’m taking what’s mine.” The pressure on my throat and the pressure from my groin put together simply combusted me. Multiple-orgasms quaked and vibrated my entire body as he poured his seed in my womb. Blake pulled me gently to him as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “Thank you, my love. I needed that,” said as he heavily panted against me. You can have me that way anytime. That was the best sex ever! Ever! I lovingly smiled at him. “No, thank you! I love it when you’re rough and unhinged. I enjoyed every second of it.” “Good to know because that was only the appetizer. I have

more coming your way tonight.” He gave me a wicked smile and at that moment, my heart convulsed with love. I love you… “Sounds like a plan, but for now, we have to get back before our friends start a search party for us.” I picked my ripped underwear up off the floor and was about to throw them in the waste bin when he took the decimated cloth from my hand. He bunched it up and placed it under his nose, inhaling my lingering scent. Oh. My. Goodness. His dazzling god-like smile in place, he shoved my torn underwear in his breast pocket. “Just a token of this eventful night, amore.” His toe-curling voice made me want to jump on him, but instead, I settled on his lips. Amore, he said. Love. The man did speak five languages, fluently.

Thirty-two We’d been seeing each other daily. Today was Thursday and he’d be leaving again Sunday. Long distance with Blake was such a bummer and since he was leaving soon, I’d decided to surprise him at one of the corporate offices in South Bank. The idea came when I was walking out of my last class of the day. It was only three in the afternoon and I didn’t feel like going home early so I hailed a passing cab. The high-rise glass building was magnificent. I eyed the automatic glass door wearily. I wasn’t exactly dressed appropriately for office visits. It was nearing the end of August and the weather had been chilly for the last few days, but today, the weather greeted me with warm rays of sunshine and I succumbed to the impulse of wearing this outfit. I was wearing a well-worn, short, denim skirt, white cami and dark brown cowboy boots with my hair down, finishing my look; a look of a college student no doubt. Oh well, whatever. I want to see him; who cares what people think? I didn’t wear much make-up today. Well, I didn’t usually do much when I go to school. All I needed was tinted moisturizer, a dab of gloss and a few swipes of mascara. Should I call him first? Maybe not. I wanted to surprise him. I was sure he was going be delighted to see me. Blake had been

insatiable ever since he’d landed Saturday from New York. Feeling optimistic, I strolled to the entrance. It was all glass and black marble tiles with a touch of chrome around the bank of elevators at the far-end of the building. I stopped and greeted one of the polished pretty receptionists; there were six of them. “Hello, I’m here to see Blake Knightly. Can you direct me to his office?” She stopped typing on her white Apple computer and glanced in my direction. The auburn hair, blue-eyed woman gave me a cold stare and mocked my outfit with her eyes. She almost laughed at me, but managed to stifle it. Catty much? “And who might you be? Do you have an appointment?” Her condescending attitude continued. “I’m Sienna Richards. I don’t have an appointment. This was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I’m one of his close friends.” “Sure you are. Give me a minute.” With a few clicks, she spoke into her tiny headpiece and started typing. After a couple of minutes—but what felt like forever—she handed me a keycard pass with my name and pointed to the set of elevators. She instructed me to swipe the keycard on the scanner and it would take me to Blake’s floor. Her forced smile made me leave the reception area without even saying thanks. She certainly didn’t deserve one. Is that how they receive guests here? It’s pretty scary. It was worse than

going to the dentist. I was about to step inside one of the elevators when a woman stopped and faced me with a hateful smirk. I froze. It was the woman from the text message. The picture hadn’t done her beauty justice. She was even more striking in person. “Yes?” Here I was, hoping my frosty attitude would send her away. “You should stop this chasing that you’re doing, querida. You will get hurt and you seem like a nice, pretty little girl.” Her Spanish accent was evident. “I’m not chasing anyone. I’m here to see my boyfriend. So, if you please, could you move out of my fucking way, bruja!” Hag. The woman laughed like she had all the time in her little, whimsical world. She even had the gall to look amused. She was a bitch with a capital B. “You are a little spitfire, aren’t you? No wonder my dear Blake can’t get enough. He always loves it rough, wouldn’t you say? But he won’t be yours for long.” Her wide, bitch smile was in place. “In less than four months, he’ll be officially engaged, my dear.” Engaged? Blake? No, it can’t be. This woman was bluffing and plotting because she wanted Blake all to herself. “Engaged to whom? You? Right, like I would believe anything that comes out of that salacious, poisonous mouth of yours.” What

a lowlife. Doesn’t she have anything else to do besides spewing lies and pestering others? She chuckled again in her stupid, annoying laugh. I was seriously tempted to punch the twilights out of her, but I didn’t want to make a scene. The women looked thoughtful for a moment before she spat her venom at me. “How I wish it was me. Papa and mama love him. The lucky lady was Camilla Clayworth. He’s been engaged since he was eighteen. He didn’t tell you, did he? Well, that’s too bad. Well, it was great to meet you. Good luck!” She sauntered past me like she was up for Miss Universe. Is it true? Is Blake really engaged? He never said anything. Well duh. Start moving and ask the man himself. I did as instructed and scanned the keycard with a shaky hand and the elevator came to life. Floor after floor I went up. The light indicator on the panel was finally on the last floor before the ‘P.’ I was assuming that it stood for penthouse. With a silent swoosh of the elevator doors I stepped out onto the carpeted floor. There was another model-type, blonde receptionist behind a desk. Do all the receptionists in this building look like they just stepped out of Vogue? What kind of a discriminatory workplace is this? A very pretty one. It’s a no brainer why men in suits gawk and pant with all these hot women around all day at work wearing tight-fitting suits. It

was no wonder lawsuits are quite common in this arena. “Ms. Richards? I’m Larissa. Why don’t you take a seat while I page Luke? He should be here shortly to get you.” Murmuring my thanks, I turned and sat in one of the lounge chairs. I was surprised she wasn’t hostile like the other hellcat in the lobby. Frankly, I was ready for another battle. I might get my wish if this farcical innuendo turns out to be true. I wasn’t naïve enough to think that arranged marriages were abolished back in the medieval period. These things were quite common with the blueblooded, upper-crust society. And Blake was one of them. I was sure his lineage could be traced as far back as before Christ. Luke came to greet me before my butt had time to warm the seat cushion. He genuinely seemed happy to see me, but his mood didn’t rub off on me. I was polite, but obviously it was strained. Who wouldn’t be, given the situation? “He’s just finishing up a call, but he should be done soon.” He opened a dark cherry oak door and I thanked him graciously. Blake’s office overlooked the River Thames and his executive black desk sat right in the middle of the room. He was on a call, but looked up when I entered and gave me one of his signature dashing smiles. I lamely waved back and strolled over to the far right floorto-ceiling glass window and gloomily stared at the view below me. I was nervous and I had no idea how to bring the subject up. He

looked happy to see me. If he is engaged… then I have to walk away. The big question is, can I leave him? Blake had become my life. I lived and breathed him. My love for him was so much more than the kind I had felt for Kyle. Blake consumed my soul. I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn’t hear him coming. I was jolted back into reality when I felt his arms wrap around my waist. He kissed and nuzzled my neck before speaking. “When you walked through the door, I was just thinking about you. It’s a good thing we read each other’s minds so well.” Tilting my head so he could kiss me, I sighed with a heavy heart when our lips made contact. I kissed him like it was the last time. I kissed with my heart. “Babe, can we talk?” My stern voice broke the spell. “That sounds ominous. Why don’t we go and sit, shall we?” He guided me towards the other section of the room where there was a sectional couch and a bar of refreshments. Neither of us sat on it. I stood behind one of the lounge chairs, anxious. He leaned against the bar and folded his arms. “What is it? You’re being odd.” “Are you—by any chance—engaged?” He froze in shock. His face horrified. Oh, fuck! “Where did you get this information?”

“From a relevant source. Be honest with me. Is. It. True?” He exhaled a defeated sigh and weaved a hand through his hair as his other hand squeezed the bridge of his nose. “A day before I turned eighteen, my grandfather summoned me to his study. He told me that the Clayworth wanted me to marry their daughter, Camilla. When he broke the news, I wasn’t at all surprised. The Clayworths were very good friends with my parents. I grew up with Camilla and it was always spoken between our families that they wished it, when the time came. Camilla’s lovely and I didn’t have any qualms about being married to her, so I said yes with one condition. The condition was for them to wait until I was at the age of twenty-five. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way; I’m so very sorry.” “Have you had sex with her?” “She lost her virginity to me and on occasion, we would meet up and go somewhere for vacation. It’s been our tradition ever since the agreement. It was our way of getting to know each other.” “You weren’t planning to tell me, huh? I’m just your little plaything on the side until you get married. I’m a quick fuck for you. I get it. I see everything clearly now.” He rushed to my side and tried to hold my hand, but I bunched them together until they were white. I couldn’t stand to be touched by him. “No, Sienna, it wasn’t like that at all. I wanted you from the first moment. You’ve been my friend; don’t do this. I’ll fix it. I’ll talk

to the Clayworths.” “You are a liar. One of the things I asked of you is your honesty and yet from the very beginning, you were lying. How many women have you fucked while being with me? God! I’m so stupid!” “I haven’t had anyone, except for you.” “Right, like I should believe what comes out of those lying lips? Forget you. I’m done. Don’t contact me because I’m through with you.” I was about to reach for the door when he held me down with his arms, wrapping my body like steel. “I’m sorry. I’ll figure a way out; don’t leave. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Don’t do this to us.” I fought against his hold and he finally released me. “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! You love me? This is how you show you love someone?” my tears started falling freely. “The pain I feel right now—it’s a hundred times worse than what Kyle ever did to me. This is your love? Well, I DO NOT WANT IT! Give it to your fiancée. I’m sure she’ll gladly take it, you lying sack of shit! I regret the day I let you in my life!” with that, I left and ran to the elevator. My heart was beating frantically. I didn’t feel relieved until I was in the safety of a cab.

Thirty-three I was still in a state of shock. The whole scene flashed vividly in my mind. I ordered the driver to take me to a place where I could find some solace. I didn’t want to be bothered with questions at home from Lucy. I paid the cab driver and entered the house with my key. I was on autopilot as I headed for the stairs. When I reached the top, I saw Kyle come out of his bedroom. His huge grin turned into a questioning frown as he got closer. “Sienna, what’s wrong? What happened?” My knees buckled and Kyle caught me before I landed on the wooden floor. “He’s engaged, Kyle. I’ve fallen in love with a guy who’s promised to someone else.” I started to laugh hysterically at the situation. I reluctantly followed my heart and look where that left me. The dream of having Blake in my life—waking up next to him and seeing him smile lovingly at me—was gone. All gone and soon he’d be doing all those things with the wretched Camilla. That image hit me quite literally. I howled from the pain. I cried, like how I cried when I found out my dad had died. Kyle held me until I stopped sobbing with my pain and gently carried me to his bed, covering my body with a comforter. He didn’t even bother taking my shoes off. He placed himself on top of

the comforter and held me as I cried myself into unconsciousness. I woke up later feeling like I had drowned and been brought back to life. I checked the clock on the side table, five thirty-six a.m. I felt Kyle still holding me. Bless him, he never asked about what happened. It was always like that with him. I liked how he never asked and always waited for me to initiate it. I was just about to slide off the bed when he stirred. “Hey, why don’t you wash up and I’ll make some breakfast? You didn’t eat last night. You have to eat something.” Pursing my lips, I nodded. “Okay, let me just wash my face and brush my teeth then I’ll come down.” Padding my way to the bathroom, I looked for a spare toothbrush and found one in the very last drawer. I didn’t even bother checking what my face looked like. I knew my eyes were red and swollen. I just couldn’t bear seeing it and looking myself in the eye. I just might have had a nervous breakdown. After washing up, I took a scrunchy from my purse and tied my hair up then I headed downstairs, barefoot and in my same clothes from yesterday. Kyle probably took my shoes off in the middle of the night. I sighed. I found him making two cups of coffee. There were two plates with ham and cheese omelets on the breakfast table. I took a seat as he placed a hot, freshly brewed coffee next to me. “Thank you,

Kyle, but you didn’t have to wake up this early and make me breakfast.” “You’re talking crazy. That was nothing compared to your usual crazy PMS days.” I smiled. “Geez, why do you always bring that up? Either way; thank you.” I took a huge sip of my coffee and a hefty bite of the omelet. We were silent for a while until he spoke, “I’m actually leaving for Heathrow to go back to LA today, for two weeks. My flight’s at ten-thirty. So I had to wake up anyway.” I paused. He was leaving for two weeks? “You never said. Why didn’t you say anything?” “You’ve been busy with Blake since Saturday and I didn’t want to bother you. It was irrelevant.” “How can that be irrelevant? You should’ve told me at least. I would’ve showed up at work Friday and found you gone. What the hell?” Kyle shrugged. “I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. I just didn’t want to bother you, ’kay?” “Well, we’re best friends. You should tell me every time you plan to leave the country. I worry, too.” “Fine, okay. I’ll do that if it makes you happy.” I murmured thank you and took another sip of my coffee. I

didn’t have much of an appetite and I had to force myself to eat. Kyle wouldn’t have it if I didn’t eat and I couldn’t deal with another argument at that point. Blake… was he hurting, too? Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t know him anymore. I thought I had, but that simply wasn’t the case. That mask he put on sometimes never came off. I never knew which one I’d get when I was with him. He could be deceiving. I had been dangerously playing with fire and I had gotten burnt. Kyle took both of our plates to the sink and cleaned up. I got up and sat on one of the stools that faced him. “Hey, I was thinking… would you mind if I go home with you? I don’t want to stay here. I just want to get away for a bit. I can email my teachers and tell them that there’s an emergency back home.” “You sure? You’re not going to get in trouble? I know you’re hurting, baby, but you can’t mess up school. You’ve worked so hard to get here; don’t mess it up. But, if your teachers are going to be okay with it, then who am I to stop you?” I went over to his side and gave him a big hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Now, I have to go and pack. I don’t want to miss our flight.” He called me a cab and we agreed that it would be easier for him to pick me up from the flat and we’d head to the airport from there. He’d pick me up around seven-thirty and it was already

quarter past six. I technically had an hour to shower and pack. The idea of going home with him came out of nowhere, but I was glad I thought of it because I couldn’t stand staying here after the break-up. The thought of seeing Blake terrified me. The idea of seeing him with someone else so soon was definitely going to kill me. I knew I was running away from it all, but I wasn’t strong enough to face any of my friends and explain the situation.

Thirty-four The ride from Kyle’s house in Hampstead to Covent Garden took half the time than usual without traffic. I graciously thanked the driver and hurriedly entered the building. I quietly made my way into the apartment, not wanting to wake Lucy out of her sleep. I hunted for my luggage, unzipped it and lugged it onto the bed. I couldn’t even look at the bed without seeing images of Blake and me making love on it. Shit, this is going to be difficult. I felt like I was a walking, breathing dead person. There was a heavy-knotted feeling on my chest. Every time I breathed it hurt. It felt like someone had jammed my heart with a knife, pulled it out and left me open and bleeding. I started taking off my clothes when I heard a knock on my door. I froze. Shit, is that Blake? “May I come in?” Lucy’s soft voice said against the door. “Yep, come on in,” I answered. She walked in the room looking half awake and her eyes widened when she saw the luggage on my bed. “Where are you going?” “I’m going back home with Kyle for a couple of weeks. I need some space… away.”

She sighed and sat next to my luggage. “Blake’s been calling my phone every hour checking if you came home. He’s going barmy and acting like a nutter. Haven’t you checked your phone?” I shook my head. I didn’t dare check it. “Listen, I don’t know why you guys broke up and I feel awful that you guys did; I love you both and I hate that it’s come to this. He didn’t want to talk about the reason why you guys did. Would it be okay if I tell him that you’re home and you’re safe? The man hasn’t slept because he’s been so worried.” “Yeah, that’s fine,” my small voice croaked a response. She got up and hugged me. “If going back home will help, then go, but if you’re not sure, then best you fix it with him; if there’s a chance for you both. Just think about it, okay? I love you, my dear friend. I’ll let Chad know later on today. Don’t forget to let us know that you’ve arrived safely, all right?” She kissed my cheek and quietly left the room. My eyes burned, but no tears formed. I guess I had run out of tears from all the excessive crying I had done last night. I jumped in the shower for ten minutes and got out to change. Was there anything to contemplate with Blake? He lied. Technically, he hid the truth. He didn’t man up and confess his little dirty secret. Is the engagement his dirty little secret or I am? Now that I think about it, he never once asked me to

accompany him to any of the events or galas he attended. Apart from our friends, he never invited me to meet other people he dealt business with. Fuck, this realization hurts. I had always wondered, but I didn’t dwell on it because I was just happy being with him. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles. I only wanted him and I didn’t care about all the lavish parties he went to. The joke was on me. He only used me for sex. His declaration of love was pure bullshit. I hastily changed into black, stretchy-skinny jeans and a black, fitted shirt with black, wedge heels. I pulled my wet hair in a bun and rummaged through my closet and my essential toiletries. I jammed them all in the luggage without a care. I didn’t even bother with make-up and settled for sheer lip-gloss instead. Kyle should be here in five minutes. I had better get moving so I can meet him downstairs. I found Luce in the kitchen, drinking her morning coffee. Poor thing, she looked like hell from lack of sleep. Blake was so inconsiderate to bother Lucy in the middle of the night like a psycho. I knew he was worried, but Luce needed her sleep. Her school was taking up a lot of her time as it was. I hated Blake even more when I got a glimpse of her dark circles. We said our quick goodbyes and I left for downstairs. Dragging my luggage out of the elevator and straight out of the

main door, I didn’t see the person waiting for me. “Sienna, please talk to me. I’ve been out of my wits with worry since last night when you didn’t come home.” His eyes spied my luggage. “Going on a trip?” “Yes, in fact, Kyle should be here any second. He’s going back home for a while and I invited myself along.” “Why would you do that? You know how I feel about him. He’s in love with you! He’s going to take this opportunity and turn it in his favor.” “That would certainly be up to me, don’t you think? Stop wasting your time.” “No, we can figure it out. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you, Sienna, with everything that I am. I love you.” Liar, if he did… he would’ve ended his engagement before I even found out, but he didn’t. He raked a hand through his hair. Dammit, he looks beautiful and sexy as hell. “Stop lying to yourself and to me. Game over, so you should drop the act—” He swiftly captured my lips and I reeled from the impact of his kiss. After a few times of trying to coax my lips into submission, I gave in to my lecherous body. God, kissing him feels perfect… it feels like home. I love him so much, it hurts. My tears fell freely and we both

tasted them, but he didn’t stop. With a deep, heavy, guttural growl, he pulled my lips away and cradled my cheeks with his hands. “Did that feel like a game to you?” I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. “Damn you! That kiss felt more real than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you, too, Sienna. I can’t live without you… will you marry me?” I gasped and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights as he got on a bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly more than fifteen carats. The ring was a princess-cut, canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds and had been designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band; the eternity band. “The color of the rock reminds me of the color of your eyes when they get caught with the sun, like liquid gold. I commissioned this ring to be made the day after I left for New York. That night, I knew you were it for me. I don’t want anyone else. I know everything’s been unfolding so quickly, but I wanted—needed— you to know how much you mean to me. I love you wholeheartedly. Will you please let me be the happiest man in all of England and say yes?” I stared wide-eyed at the ring, back to his face and back to the ring again. Shocked didn’t even begin to cover my reaction. “Blake… I’m sorry… I can’t.”

He abruptly stood up and grabbed my face with a fierce scowl. “What do you mean you can’t? How hard is it to say yes?” “I can’t. I’m sorry,” I stammered through my tears. “I see. I guess, I imagined that you felt the same way, but I suppose that’s all it was, all in my imagination.” He heaved and turned to me with a stony face. “You’ll regret this because I’ve only ever loved you and when you see me happy with another woman, you’ll regret it even more. Your thoughts will be haunted by me; the one that got away. Goodbye, Sienna.” He stood there for a few seconds before sliding in the Aston Martin, gunning the engine and rapidly vanishing through the traffic. I wiped away my tears and exhaled a long sigh. I had done the right thing, I knew I had. He lied. I can’t trust him! Kyle’s cologne penetrated the air, letting me know that he was close to me. “Did you see all of that?” “I did. Sienna, you love him. And it hurts for me to say this, but what if you’re making a mistake? Don’t you think you should give it another shot?” What good would it be without trust? It was worthless without trust. How can one be happy with a liar? One who keeps secrets such as having a fucking fiancée? Even if I did give him another chance, I would be permanently living in a state of paranoia. I

couldn’t do that to myself. I did the right thing; the best thing. It might not feel like it now, but it would be in the long run. “No, let’s leave it at that. We have to get going. I don’t want to miss the flight.” ~S~

I didn’t let my thoughts wander to Blake’s proposal until I was seated. I ached while I watched the fluffy, white clouds through the airplane window as I listened to “Lovesong” by Adele from my iPod. What happened today was life changing for me. I didn’t know if I would be able to get over it. The hurt and pain was rooted deeply inside of me. I didn’t doubt that I would see him again; we did have common friends. It was simply inevitable. I may be broken right now, but the next time I set foot in London, I would be a different woman. A much stronger one, I hoped. One that men didn’t trample on.

More books by Pamela Ann The Torn Series Order: Scornfully Yours Scornfully Hers Frayed Blasphemous Undeniably Yours Scorned Fixated On You Christmas With You Unveiled November 19 Crushed TBA Damaged TBA The Chasing Series: Chasing Beautiful Chasing Imperfection Chasing Paradise Chasing Forever (Lucy & Toby) April 28

Chasing Mrs. Knightly: Epilogue Coming August 4 Lily’s Mistake Loving Drake Loving Lily Coming July 7 British Billionaires Series: Falling For My Husband (Callum & Stella) Falling For Ava (Reece & Ava) TBA 2014 Formula Men Series: Monza Luca di Medici Coming June 24 Nice Jacques Bertrand TBA Barcelona Andrès Franco TBA Pieces: A Duet Pieces of You & Me

Pieces Of Us Coming October 15 + Upcoming Stand-Alone Novels + My Summer in Venice Coming May 2014 Havoc (Dark Erotica) Bartered (Dark Erotica) Breaking My Vows TBA 2014

Acknowledgements: I just want to say thanks to my family and friends who have pushed me to write and for being there to support me through it all. THANK YOU! To my mom, thank you for being a constant rock through my ups and downs and always encouraging me to follow my dreams. You’re the best! And I’m lucky to have a mom like you. To all the readers, thank you for all the love and support. I greatly appreciate it!!!! To read more about Pamela Ann and her upcoming releases, follow her through Facebook, Twitter and her blog. Blog: http://pamelaannbooks.blogspot.com/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pamela-Ann-AuthorPage/401789403246597

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PamelaAnnAuthor