ENGLISH IMPATIENT - Garland Fiona

Text Copyrighted © 2016 Fiona
Garland
Cover Design © Fiona Garland
Cover Image © Deposit Photos
All Rights Reserved
The characters featured in this story
are fictional with no relation with any
persons alive or dead. All events
depicted in this story are fictional and
any similarities to the real world are
purely coincidental. Any and all
references to trademarks are covered
under fair use.
This book is intended for adults. It
contains mature depictions of violence,
sex, and profanity. Please avoid reading
further if you are not at least eighteen
years of age or find this type of work
uncomfortable.
Table of Contents
Bonus Story
I needed to stop.
The pain had gotten worse. The
physical kind I could deal with. That
kind came in like waves crashing against
the rocks. It would be red hot and then
fade with time. I could block out that
kind of pain. I had even gotten good at it.
Sex and liquor did their duty in
sharing the burden.
The other kind was a different story.
I felt a ringing in my head like hammer
drilling into the base of my skull. It
forced to take off the bedsheets and face
the light.
“What the bloody hell is that noise,”
I groaned, suppressing a yawn. A man
could never live in peaceful debauchery
in this country, “It’s like a damn
woodpecker on hooch. I’m going to nut
that fucker.”
A soft, feminine body moved beside
me. “I think that’s your phone.”
“I set that sodding thing to silent
mode yesterday,” I grumbled in
frustration. “I don’t need bad news
ruining my good times.”
The woman spoke again. “No, it’s
the landline phone.”
“Son of a bitch,” I said, stirring my
body awake. The woman beside me felt
like a pillow of meat. Then again, that’s
what I brought her home for. My cock
had gotten quite the workout. “I got it.”
That damn noise had to stop.
I reached over to the phone and saw
that my bedmate was a sleepy redhead. I
could’ve sworn I came in with a
brunette. “Who the hell are you?”
“You dropped by with my roommate
and picked me up,” the brunette
grumbled, looking half-awake. “She left
in the middle of the night. I think she left
her cardigan here.”
“Explains why you changed your hair
color and went up a cup size.”
The girl got up and rubbed her eyes.
“You have a nice house. It could use
some cleaning though.”
“And you have a delightful pair of
tits but your bum could use a bit of heft,”
I teased. It won me a glare. “We can’t all
be perfect.”
The phone rang again.
There was no point in delaying
business. I sighed and said. “I’ll get it.”
The woman rubbed her eyes. “Um…
can you give a ride?”
I smirked at her. “You mean a lift?”
“Whatever, I just need to get home,”
she said. “This place is in the middle of
nowhere,”
“It’s just a thirty minute walk before
you reach civilization. The exercise will
do you good.”
She cursed under her breath and
went back to sleep.
I picked up the phone and
immediately heard the voice of my
butler. Or personal assistant as he
preferred. “Alan, are you awake?”
“In a manner of speaking, Winston,” I
grumbled to my personal henchman. “It’s
been a month since I crossed the pond.
The jetlag still hasn’t worn off. What is
it now?”
I heard him sigh like a disappointed
father. “Are you whoring and drinking
again, sir?”
“I didn’t whore around,” I said in my
feeble defense. I knew his heart was in
the right place. “No, money was
exchanged. And this was my last drink. I
swear it this time!”
I could almost imagine Winston
groaning and palming his face. “I’ve
heard that last line before.”
The girl spoke again. “Can I get
money for the bus at least?”
“No trolley service around these
parts, love,” I answered, before
returning to the phone “So what’s this
call about?”
His answer roused my body awake.
“I’ve found your nurse.”
As much as I hated to admit it, I
needed a member of the holy sisterhood
of the stethoscope to help me. I was on a
collision course with death. I at least
owed it to myself to not take anyone else
down with me.
It was the sensible thing to do
I needed someone I could trust.
Someone who I could count onto put me
back together again after I fell off the
wall like Humpty Dumpty. Someone who
wouldn’t give up on me after I did.
Then again, no one could put Humpty
Dumpty back together again.
I needed to stop before I destroyed
myself.
“Great… who is it, Winston?”
“Miss Elizabeth Sears,” began the
electronic crackle of the prerecorded
message. “We appreciate your interest
but at this time-”
I hit end button on the phone and
slammed it in its cradle. It was a stupid
thing to do considering it was my only
phone connection. I had to cancel my
cell phone since I couldn’t afford to pay
the bills.
Another day, another rejection.
The news in the mail wasn’t much
better. I had applied for an opening in a
nearby hospital. I looked at the
beginning of the letter. “To whom it may
concern…”
They didn’t even have the courtesy to
type out my name when they rejected me
this, “Damn, it.”
I crumpled up the boilerplate
rejection letter informing me of the
hospital’s decision. I would not be
working as a nurse at their hospital. I
will not be able to supplement my
meagre income. I would not be able to
put my nursing license to actual use. I
would not be able to pay the rent and
take care of my only living family
member.
I almost wanted to cry but I had shed
all my tears a year ago. One after
another, my parents had died two years
ago. My mother had always been a
sickly woman. Her heart finally gave out
in spite of all of our hopes. My dad was
already an emotionally wounded man
from time in the Iraq War.
Mom’s death pushed him over the
edge.
It left me to take care of my teenage
sister, Sally. We didn’t have any
immediate family members who could
help us. She was still a minor and I’d be
damn if I let the state take her in. I was
afraid I would lose Sally to a foster
home or some halfway house. I even
dropped out of medical school to gain
custody of her.
Now, I wouldn’t even be able to pay
the rent and keep a roof over her head.
That isn’t to say I won custody
without a hitch. Back then, I was a
college student that had pursued a
nursing degree. It would’ve made me
into a registered nurse. As opposed to
being a licensed nurse, I could be more
hands-on as a registered nurse. It would
come with a sizeable bump in pay.
I was the top of my class and the
future looked bright. I had loads of
experience dating back to my high
schools years. I had volunteered at the
local hospital. I had even volunteered at
the local Veteran Affairs office due to
my dad fighting in the war.
After the death of my parents, I left
college to take care of Sally. It was
tough becoming a full-fledged adult so
quickly. Each month there more and
more bills to pay. I worked two jobs to
make ends meet. Neither of them
involved nursing. Licensed nurses are a
dime a dozen and they’re just so many
jobs to go around.
Instead, I did odd jobs to pay the
bills. I worked as a cashier at a small
clothing store some days. Other days, I
waited tables at fast casual restaurants.
The pay was lousy and the tips weren’t
any better. You would’ve never have
guessed I had been on the fast track to
becoming a decorated nurse.
Now, I was on the fast-track to
declaring bankruptcy. Worse, I was
becoming a terrible parental figure. Two
jobs meant little time for Sally.
This was what upset me the most. In
spite of what I told myself, my
commitment to my job led me to neglect
Sally. I was seeing less and less of her.
We couldn’t even be together on
weekends because of my jobs. I was
working so hard to keep a home which I
barely lived in. I was destroying the
family I swore to protect.
The phone rang and broke me out of
my somber thoughts. I didn’t bother
answering it. It would just be another
credit card offer I couldn’t afford with
my abysmal credit score. A part of me
wondered when I’d have to disconnect
the phone due to a lack of money.
It was time break the bad news to
Sally.
I gave a glance at our apartment. The
place had fallen into disarray. The
carpet was matted and held several
stains. Dust had settled on the furniture.
I was normally a diligent cleaner.
My two jobs changed that. I was
exhausted the moment I got home. Sally
had tried to do her part but I always
made sure she concentrated on her
studies. I’d rather the house deteriorate
rather than her grades. I had left college
so that she could have a future.
There were several keepsakes
littered throughout the rooms as well.
Sally and I didn’t have the heart to throw
out some of my parents’ belongings. My
father’s tennis equipment and my
mother’s knitting collection congested
our already small living space.
Drying my tears, I turned around and
entered Sally’s room. I didn’t want her
to see me like this. I also didn’t want to
hear to know bad things were. Sally’s
room was the one that changed the least
since our parents’ deaths. We used to
share it until I went off to college. I now
slept in my parents’ room. It always
brought a smile to my face to see its
walls full of posters of teenage boy
bands and cute actors.
I always hated to have bad news
intrude upon good times.
I masked my sorrow and asked.
“Have you finished your homework yet,
Sally?”
“I did it two hours ago,” she
answered, sensing something was
wrong. Nothing got past her. “Are we
going to get kicked out of the
apartment?”
I cursed to myself. She had always
been a precocious child. Now, she was
an intelligent if rebellious teenager. Of
course Sally would piece everything
together. Besides, it wasn’t as if my
months of fruitless job searching went
unnoticed.
“A lot of changes are going to
happen,” I admitted, sitting next to her.
Tears welled up again in my eyes. I
knew that the social workers would take
her. They would give her a better life. It
would be for the best. “You’ll have to
live in new home. It’ll be bigger and
better than this one. You’ll have a bigger
room than you’ll know what to do with.”
I shouldn’t have gotten misty-eyed. It
was a greenlight for her to cry as well.
“But I don’t want to leave you!”
“We’ll still get to see each other,” I
said. Tears began to streak down her
face as well. “I will never leave you. I
will always be a part of your life. You
know that.”
“I can work,” she sobbed. The
statement hurt me. I was ashamed to
have let things get this bad. “There’s an
opening at the supermarket in downtown.
I can get a job there as a cashier.”
“Don’t be silly,” I consoled. “I’ve
been only delaying inevitable and I’ve
made you suffer for it.”
“What will you do?” she cried. I
dried her eyes with my sleeve. “Will you
still work? I don’t want you to work
anymore. We barely even see each
other!”
“I’ll go back to college,” I said out
of the blue. I hadn’t given college any
serious thought. I had thought about
finishing up my nursing degree with night
classes. However, time and money
prevented it. “This will help me get a
good job instead of two lousy ones.
Then, we can spend more time together.
You’ll be happier living in a nice big
house with-”
“I don’t care about a new house or a
big room,” she said, rushing up to hug
me. I hugged her back reflexively. “I
want to be with you. I don’t want them to
take me from you.”
The phone went off again. Whoever
it was, they were persistent. “Stay here,
I’ll answer it.”
I picked up the phone and waited to
hear another pre-recorded message. I
didn’t know if it would be another
rejection. I had lost count of how many
nursing positions I had applied for.
“Miss Sears,” said a distinctly
British voice. To my shock, it was an
actual living human being. “I have a job
offer for you.”
“Who are you?” said the woman
with a bit of venom in her voice.
Winston had chosen a feisty one. “How
did you get my number?”
I thumbed over the photo of her in the
file. The only thing remarkable about her
looks was how unremarkable she
looked. At least I could count on not
sleeping with her. Normally, that wasn’t
something you looked for in a medical
assistant but I had my vices to consider.
“Can I call you, Elizabeth, madam?”
I asked. I didn’t know why I was
working my charm for a woman I had no
interest in bedding. “I’m looking for a
medical assistant to work with me on a
personal basis. A nurse, if you will. I
understand you have volunteer
experience in working with both
alcoholics and war veterans.”
“Most people call me Beth,” she
said, changing her tone. I might have
played my hand too early with by talking
about her volunteer experience. “I’ll ask
again, how did you get my number? And
just who are you, anyway?”
I had expected a woman desperate
for a job offer. Instead, I met a flurry of
questions and suspicions about my
motives. You’d think someone in her
situation would think of me as an angel
descending from the heavens. I may have
begun to lose my touch. “I believe a
proper introduction is in order, Beth. My
name is Alan Zachary Esq. Since we are
on a first name basis, please call me
Alan.”
There was a brief pause. I doubted
that anyone across the pond had heard of
me. “You said you were looking for a
nurse?”
“Yes, I require a private nurse who
will work on-site,” I answered. “You
will be required to do daily checkups
and monitor my health. Try not to let me
croak before my time. It’s simple as
that.”
I can always see her eyes narrow in
mistruth in my mind’s eye. “What made
you consider me instead of a more
established practitioner?”
“Your grades were very
impressive,” I answered. It wasn’t a lie
since Beth had been the top of her class.
She was a prodigy even from what
Winston had gathered from her
professors. “I can tell talent when I see
it.”
“Why not hire a professional with a
specialization?” she inquired again. “It
sounds like you’ve done your homework
on me. You should know I’m not even a
registered nurse.”
Now this was interesting. A woman
who could bite back. Now I knew I had
to meet her in person at the very least.
“Due to the sensitive nature of the
arrangement, I am unwilling to go
through the traditional avenues.
Nevertheless, you will be well
compensated for your work.”
That last statement had been my
verbal right hook. I loved making people
an offer they couldn’t refuse. It was one
of the few pleasures in life now that I
refrained from actual fisticuffs. “Can you
at least tell me what the job entails, Mr.
Zachary?”
“Again, I’d like to refrain from
discussing the particulars until we met in
person. How about a preliminary
meeting where we get to know each
other?”
I knew I had Beth on the ropes. She
would take janitorial work if I offered it.
“A job interview then?”
“If you can call it that,” I replied.
“You can do a check up on me. We’ll get
a good idea of how this relationship will
work out. Is that acceptable?”
This had to pique her interest. “You
sound like an Englishman, Mr. Zachary.”
“Why thank you!” I said in mock
gratitude. “I do lay it on thick
sometimes. What of my accent, Beth?”
There was a brief pause before she
spoke. “Is the job located in England?”
“No, it’s located much closer to your
home,” I answered. God knows I wasn’t
going back there until things quieted
down in the British Army. Or I died and
had to be brought in for a funeral. I
honestly didn’t know which scenario I
preferred. “An hour’s drive is all it
would take.”
“Who are you, Mr. Zachary?” she
asked. I imagined her heart racing as
though she just won the lottery. Then
again, she may have just done that. “Are
you some high-powered businessman?
Or royalty?”
‘High-powered businessman’
sounded much better than ‘alcoholic
soldier turned drunken venture
capitalist.’
I had more wealth than the woman
could dream of. Nevertheless, I wanted
an unbiased opinion. I’ve gotten tired of
‘yes-men’ looking to collect another
paycheck for a clean bill of health.
“Think of me as just another patient. Call
me Alan.”
“What will the compensation be,
Alan?”
I almost wanted to laugh.
“Enough that you won’t have to
worry about money ever again,” I
answered. “You can focus on your job…
assuming we go forward with the
arrangement.”
The idea of having money and being
able to spend it must have been alien to
her. I’ve met her kind before in my line
of work. Rich or poor, they always saw
the world in terms of a price tag. The
rich kind were the worst. They’ll haggle
a few thousand off a sodding million
dollar contract.
Me? I could not have given even less
of a damn. It was the one thing that had
gotten me ahead of my competitors.
I was much focused on effectiveness
and other more tangible factors. Price,
especially petty amounts, had little
importance for me. I’ve worked with
people who squabbled over every half-
penny. They’d push back inking a deal
just to save a few thousand dollars. All
the while, the meetings were costing a
small fortune in transportation and
catering. It made me miss the
predictability of military life.
Life was too short to act like a miser
for every single transaction you came
across. Chances were that my life would
be even shorter. For importantly, you
sell the same way you buy. If you look
for the best price, then you sell assuming
your customer looks for the best price.
You wait on nailing down that deal and
that person will walk straight into
someone like me.
I wondered what Beth was like.
Then again, I’d find out soon enough.
“Can you take a leave of absence from
your two jobs?”
Again, she paused. “How do you
know about that, Alan?”
“Why don’t you ask me in person?” I
teased. “How about you come to me
tomorrow? I can arrange transportation.”
She hesitated. “I have work
tomorrow.”
“Is losing a day at a minimum wage
job, pardon me, two minimum wage jobs
worth losing a chance to become my
personal physician?” I chastised with a
grin. She couldn’t see it but my tone set
the message. “You’re the one who’ll
have to answer that question.”
There was a long pause before Beth
spoke. “Just let me call work and
arrange for Sally, my sister, to stay with
a neighbor. Do you have a bus service
around where you’re staying? My car’s
in the shop…”
I loved it when negotiations were
fruitful. “I’ll send Wilson ferry you.”
“Nothing is set in stone, Sally,” I
said. Her enthusiasm was infectious but I
didn’t want to turn into a zombie craving
hope. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
I should have taken my own advice. I
needed to get this job. I had already
burnt bridges with my previous
employers by taking a day off. It was
now all or nothing with Alan Zachary.
“This sounds really, exciting,” Sally
replied. “Just who is this guy, anyway?”
“That’s what I’d like to know,” I
sighed. I hadn’t found out anything about
who this Alan Zachary was exactly.
According to the internet, the only Alan
Zachary in the area was a seventy year
old car salesman. I hoped I wasn’t
falling for some elaborate prank. “He
had a British accent and kept calling me
by my first name like he already knew
me.”
“He sounds like Hannibal Lector,”
she mused, helping me with my makeup.
This was an interview like any other.
“Try not to get eaten, sis.”
“I’ll do my best,” I smiled. “You’ll
be with Ms. Jacobs. No argument. And
no telling me how you’re not a little kid
anymore and don’t need a babysitter.”
Call me paranoid but I wasn’t going
to take any chances after the death of my
parents. Sally was the one thing in my
life I had worked so hard to protect. I
knew I would have to let her grow up
one day. I always wondered if that was
how mom and dad felt about me growing
up and becoming an adult.
I never had a chance to ask them.
Sally rolled her eyes and sighed. “I
don’t know why you think I’m going to
burn the house down with me in it if you
leave me alone for five minutes. Just
come back before she makes me eat
chicken livers for dinner.”
She wasn’t a big fan of the elderly
Ms. Jacobs. The woman was downright
batty at times. Nonetheless, she was the
only person in the complex who offered
to look after the young teenager.
Whoever this Alan Zachary was, he
was at least letting me travel in style. An
elderly Scottish man arrived in a BMW
to give me a ride. His name was Winston
and he seemed to be Mr. Zachary’s right-
hand man.
I sat back in the cushy leather seat
and asked the m...