First Love - Heather Carver

First Love



Copyright © 2016 by Heather Carver

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. The author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

This book is dedicated to anyone who has found love and fights for it even when things get complicated.

Table of Contents Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Epilogue Author Bio Acknowledgments



The only things a fourteen-year-old girl should worry about in high school are dating the quarterback and summer vacations. But, during my freshman year of high school, my life changed in a blink and without warning, and after that, things were never easy for me. That moment when I saw my dad kissing an anorexic blonde with big boobs, I felt like I was drowning. A girl who didn’t look old enough for my dad to be kissing. Why is he kissing someone who isn’t Mom? Why is he kissing someone who doesn’t look much older than I do? How do you look at your dad after something like that when he’s the one guy you’ve always looked up to? The man you dreamed of marrying when you were a little girl? The man who would have a say in who you married because you wanted your husband to be like him? I always imagined that my parents would be together forever, we’d have a perfect family and not be a statistic. I don’t know what Mom’s going to do about it. Not wanting to be seen, I ran out of the house and over to Brian's. Escaping my parents is one of the reasons I’m happy he lives next door to me. I’m not sure if Dad even realized I walked in, but at this point, I don’t care. How can he do this to mom? How can he ruin our family? Without knocking, I burst through the Clark’s door and run upstairs, where I know Brian is. He’s always in his room, playing that stupid Atari. Ever since it came out last month, he hasn’t done anything else. “What are you doing here?” he asks, “Are the hounds of Hell chasing you?” “I…I…” I don’t know how to say what I saw. “What’s wrong, Donna? Did something happen to your mom and dad?” No longer able to hold the tears at bay, I fall onto his bed, sobbing. Brian instantly wraps his arms around me. “Shhhh. Everything will be all right.” “No, it won’t. Everything’s about to change. Change for the worse,” I manage to mumble.

“I only caught about half of what you said, but it’s okay. You can tell me about it once you calm down.” He doesn’t ask me any more questions. He pulls me into his lap and holds me, while rubbing my back and pushing my hair out of my face. It’s been years since my mom’s done anything similar to this. Thinking about my mom makes the tears come even faster. How am I going to tell her what I saw? How do I keep it from her? Why did I have to come straight home from school today? Finally, after what feels like hours, I stop crying. I feel weird that Brian comforted me through my cry fest. “Thank you for being here for me,” I say. “Especially since all I did was cry on you.” “I’ll always be here for you. You should know that. Can you tell me what happened now?” “Yearbook club was canceled, so I came home to study for the stupid math test tomorrow. You know my dad's rarely home for dinner, so I never expected him to be home at this time of day. Oh, but he was, and he was kissing some blond, anorexic-looking girl. I didn’t say anything. I ran out of there. How am I ever going to look at him again? How can I not tell my mom?” “Donna, it isn’t your place to have to tell her. I understand you want her to know, but don’t worry yourself over it. When my dad cheated on my mom, I wanted to run and tell my mom also, but I didn’t and I felt guilty for not telling her, but she knew already. Maybe you should try and talk to your dad first. You shouldn’t be thrown into the middle of it.” How could he have waited to tell his mom? I don’t know if I can wait. Let alone confront my dad about what I saw. How do I not act different around my mom and dad? “I don’t know how to do that,” I say. “You have to do what feels right to you. Just because I didn’t tell my mom doesn’t mean you can’t. I also don’t know how your dad will handle you confronting him. I can be there with you if you need. I’m here for whatever you need from me.” I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I don’t want to face either of my parents tonight. I don’t know how to act normal. I also don’t want to be the one to tell my mom about my dad. I wish I could forget I saw anything and be oblivious to it all. “I don’t want to go home tonight. Do you think we can convince our parents we’re studying for our math test together?” “Yes. Then I’ll tell my mom you ended up falling asleep, so I’m going to let you sleep and you can head home in the morning.” “That may work, but you’ll have to wait a few hours though. As far as my parents know, I’m at school still.” “Okay. What do you want to do?” “Can we play a video game?” I don’t want to do anything. I have no energy to even move, and I can’t think, either. “What do you want to play?” “I don’t know. I’ll watch you play a game.” “Okay. If you’re sure.” Lying in Brian’s arms makes me realize he isn’t just a guy trying any funny stuff. He really does care for me. Not many guys would hold me and not expect something in return. I’ll always be grateful for Brian. He’s claimed a piece of my heart tonight and he doesn’t even know it yet. He’ll always be the one constant in my life. I’ll never let anything come between us or take him away from me.



I’ve known Brian my whole life. We’ve been best friends since that fateful day. Once we turned sixteen, our families pushed us together—well, mostly our mothers. They always talked about how it’d be best for both of our families—and the family business—if we got married someday. Frankly, I always thought their pushing us together was their way of trying to prevent us from making the same mistakes they’d made in their own relationships. But Brian was my best friend. We spent every waking moment together. We’d do our homework together, go to sporting events, and watch movies. It didn’t really matter as long as we were together. Our friendship meant something to me, and dating could have ripped it all away from me if things didn’t work out between us romantically. I couldn’t lose him because he’d helped keep me sane when my parents weren’t getting along. Being Little Miss Independent and resentful of being told whom to date—how could they give me relationship advice when they weren’t even happy with their own relationships—I put up a bit of a fight. Like most teen-aged girls, I dreamed of dating the quarterback and went after him. When he finally asked me out, I was ecstatic. Once I found out his only interests were football and…well, football, I dropped him. Then the boy who could look as good as the quarterback if he didn’t hide behind his horn-rimmed glasses and ill-fitting clothes asked me out. I said yes. I said yes to my best friend, Brian. The boy who, no matter how he dressed or even if he wore his glasses and I couldn’t see into his crystal-blue eyes, would always own my heart. Now, I’m proud to say he’s all mine. I can’t believe we’ll be getting married in a few short months even though, at the age of twenty-six, I thought we’d have been married years ago. Planning a wedding is a lot of work, more than I ever imagined. If I’d known it’d be this difficult, I would have eloped. Choosing my gown, the dresses for the bridesmaids and our mothers, the venue, the flowers, the food, the cake, the photographer, which songs to play for the special dances—the list is endless and especially mind-numbing because my mom, Jolene, and soon-to-be mother-in-law, Marianne, want everything done their way. Mom wants me to wear her dress, but how can I wear that dress when I know things weren’t always happy for her and my dad? Marianne wants to wear purple, but that isn’t one of our wedding colors, so she wants me to change them. I can’t handle it anymore. I’m ready to pull my hair out.

Why do moms have to be so annoying at times? I love my mom dearly, but we’re not seeing eyeto-eye on the wedding plans. She treats me like an indecisive kid. Before I graduated and passed the State Board Test Pool Examination for Nursing, I didn’t have a lot of time to focus on the planning, but now, I do, and I want my wishes heard. Today, I’m finalizing some wedding plans with “The Moms” and all I’m hearing is, “Why would you pick those colors? Why that dress? Why those flowers? Who would even want to listen to that music? Why, why, why?” I can’t handle their perpetual seconding-guessing anymore. It’s pissing me off, and I’m about to blow up at them. I’ve never yelled at my mother, but I’m fighting everything in me not to. I don’t know why, when I get angry, I want to cry, but I know it won’t help, so I hold the tears back. I don’t want a fancy, huge wedding at the Hilton. I want an intimate ceremony on the beach. I don’t want a five-course meal, but they think a lavish dinner is a must because I want an evening wedding. Their wish list is longer than mine, which is maddening. I simply can’t take much more. I should be able to plan my wedding my way, damn it. They had their chances when they got married. Now, it’s my turn. Brian and I have discussed eloping. The only thing stopping us is being disowned by our mothers. Fighting their every whim is getting to us though. Things are coming to a head, reaching a boiling point, and someone’s going to snap from all of this stress. Up until now, we’ve allowed our moms to control our lives, but it needs to stop. Unfortunately, I have a more difficult time standing up to them than Brian does. He hates that I give in to their every whim, but I don’t want to cause a problem. I hate being involved in conflict. We can’t really say anything because we don’t want to hurt their feelings and lose their help with planning our wedding. If that happened, Brian would get a lot of shit from his dad for upsetting his mom. They have done so much for us, but being bullied is frustrating. I know that isn’t their intent, but that’s how I feel. Finally, after coming to a somewhat easy decision on invitations, I tell Mom I have a lunch date with Brian I can’t cancel and then leave for his office. I don’t actually have a date, but I’m going to surprise him. We need some spontaneity back in our lives. Lately, all of our time has been devoted to school, work, or wedding planning. Where’s the fun in that? Hopefully, he’s not stuck in a meeting. I need someone who understands what it’s like to be around “The Moms.” This is one of those times I wish my best friend, Shawna, still lived close by instead of in California. She knows me and what I need. I don’t know how I’ve gone so long without her. But, since she isn’t here, I’m going to Brian because I know he’ll hold me and tell me that everything will be all right and our big day will be here sooner than we think. Every once in a while, a lady needs her man to hold her and comfort her. Today would be one of those days for me. I don’t bitch to him too much because then he’ll say something to our moms. Although they don’t listen to me, they listen to him. Then they give me shit for running to him for backup. They’re always saying, “Women should stick together.” As I make my way toward Brian’s office, it’s unusually quiet, and his secretary, Janice, isn’t at her desk. Janice is always at her post, controlling access to Brian’s office. She’s like a guard dog, one you slip by only after you’ve tossed it a steak stuffed with sleeping pills. She especially likes to make me wait. She acts as though she’s busy and stalls forever before letting Brian know I’m there. She doesn’t like me, and her dislike has only worsened since he proposed. Janice has never hidden the fact that she wants Brian. Although she’s in her late thirties or early forties, she thinks she can win him over. I’ve talked to him about her, but he reassures me I have nothing to worry about. I trust Brian, but because my dad cheated on my mom and his dad still cheats on his mom… Well, I know that women can be so tempting when they want someone. And Janice

wants my man. Without Janice around, though, I can surprise Brian by arriving unannounced. As I approach the door, I hear sounds, which assures me he’s in his office, but I’m so excited about surprising him that I don’t process what I’m hearing. I push the door open, and the sight before me physically sickens me. All I can see is Brian furiously pumping into Janice, his face buried between her breasts. Janice moans. “Harder, Brian. Right there. Don’t stop.” She looks at me with a smirk that says, I got the man after all. For a split second, I’m frozen. I can’t move. I don’t know whether to run away or yell at Brian for cheating when he promised he would never do that to me. I can’t bear to witness the ecstasy on her face any longer. The moans of pleasure from Janice, the sound of their bodies slapping together, the grunts from Brian and the look in Janice’s eyes, which says she knows this will haunt me for years to come. My heart leaps into my throat. I can’t swallow. My chest is constricting. I can’t breathe. Hot tears blind me, and I swipe at them, hoping to clear my vision. The black tile floor whizzes by as I dash for the elevator. Away from the man I love. Even the whooshing of the brass-plated doors can’t pull me out of my fog. I’m not aware of the ride down to the lobby. I only know I need to get out of the building as fast as I can. The images are burned into my head. What the fuck was that? How long has he been cheating on me? I should go back and confront him, but my heart’s pounding so fast that I don’t know if I could get the words out. What if I’m not strong enough and I fall right back into his arms like my mother did with my father and my future mother-in-law does with Brian’s father, Brian Sr.? How could he do this to me? I shouldn’t have believed him when he said I didn’t have to worry about Janice. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I love him and you trust your significant other, but I should’ve gone with my gut instinct. The instinct that said he’s cut from the same cloth as his father. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I need to get away. I can’t stay here and let him convince me to stay while he continues to lie and cheat, and I can’t let him talk me into believing that what I saw was an accident or even a one-time thing. He doesn’t deserve me. I gave him my all, and this is how he treats me? I don’t know how I’ll ever trust another man again. From my experience, all men are lying, cheating assholes. Brian Sr. cheated, and he still cheats. My own dad cheated on my mom. Yes, my parents had trouble earlier in their marriage, but in my eyes, that doesn’t excuse the breach of trust. Even if I don’t know all the details, cheating isn’t okay in my book. Come to think of it now, I really am surrounded by assholes pretending to be men. *** Finally, it’s time to take Shawna up on her offer to go to California for a visit, especially now that I’m unsure if I have anything holding me here. Hopefully, she’ll be around. While sitting at a red light, I debate calling her, but my parents would be livid if I used the car phone. It’s for emergencies only, and calling her over this wouldn’t be an emergency in their eyes. Doesn’t matter if my life is falling apart or my heart is breaking. I can only use the phone to call them or 911. The call to Shawna will have to wait until I get home. I’ll have to pack and talk fast because I need to be long gone before Brian gets home. Somehow, I manage to get home, and after I walk in the door, I instantly head to the phone. It takes me a couple of tries to get her number right because my hands won’t stop shaking. “Hello,” Shawna says. Immediately, her familiar pep bolsters me, and I manage to say, “Hey, it’s Donna.”

“Well, it’s about time you quit ignoring me and call me, bestie.” Her calling-me-on-my shit greeting only makes me miss her more, and I push my response past the sob filling my throat. “We don’t talk enough.” “Sweetie, what’s wrong? Why does it sound like you’re about to cry?” When Shawna switches from her playful snarkiness to a sweet and caring tone, my sobs break free. “Oh, Donna, don’t cry. What is it? Are ‘The Moms’ being a pain in the ass again? Just say the word and I’ll come up there and kick their saggy asses.” I’m sure she said the last part to get a laugh out of me, but I don’t have it in me right now. “Shawna, I need to come stay with you for a while. I don’t know for how long, and you can’t tell anyone I’m there. I can’t tell you what happened now, but I will when I arrive.” I sob, full-on crying now. I can’t hold it back. This is my best friend, but I’m not ready to explain what I saw yet. She wouldn’t be able to understand me anyway. Maybe, after a few shots to calm my nerves, I’ll be able to tell her. “Donna, you’re worrying me, love. What’s going on? How are you getting here? I’m not sure you should drive in your condition. I want you to get here safely.” She has always been level-headed, and she’s probably right, but I don’t want anyone to find out where I’m going. Besides, driving will give me more time to think about my situation and decide what I’m going to do. Who has time to wait around the airport, hoping to get a flight sometime today? Not me. I can’t sit idly right now. Driving will be torture enough. “Driving’s my only option. I’ll pull over and rest if I need to. Plus, I’ll call and keep you posted on where I am and if I’m stopping for the night. It’s only a fourteen-hour drive, give or take, depending on traffic and how much I have to stop.” She probably thinks I’m avoiding her question, and maybe I am, but I can’t relive the nightmare that is my life right now. “I’m not purposely avoiding telling you what happened,” I tell her, “but I need to focus on the drive and process everything before I say it out loud. Once I say it, it will make it real. I know that sounds stupid. Just give me until I get there, please.” I’m begging, but I want her to understand I need time to absorb everything. “Okay. You can tell me later, but please be safe.” She rattles on with the directions, but I can’t focus. “Just know, when you get here, I’ll have drinks ready for us. I’m here for you in any way you need, anytime you need.” Hearing “drinks” pulls me out of my head, and I write the directions down. “I will. Thanks for the directions. I gotta go.” Once I get to Shawna’s, things will start looking up. “I’ll see you late tonight or tomorrow. Love you.” “See you later. Love you too.” I’m not sure if I should leave a letter explaining that I needed to get away or if I should just disappear. I don’t want anyone to think I was abducted, but I don’t want them to know I’m gone right away, either. Why am I still concerned what Brian thinks when he’s the one who ripped my heart out? My parents won’t contact me unless Brian goes to them—or unless my mom has wedding demands. And, because I spent the best part of today with her, I should be free of them tonight. I don’t pack a lot because I can’t pull my thoughts together enough to figure out what I might need, so I throw a bunch of things in an overnight bag. I’m madly in love with Brian, but forgiving his cheating is a tall order. The truth is, I love him so much that I might have been able to forgive him if he’d cheated with anyone else besides Janice. I wouldn’t have believed he’d do this to me if I hadn’t

seen it for myself. How am I going to move on? I haven’t been with anyone else. I’ve been with Brian for so long that I can’t even imagine dating again. It’ll be hell. On the drive to Shawna’s, I only stop for gas, for snacks, and to use the restroom because I don’t feel comfortable stopping at a motel along the way. I decide that, after I settle in at Shawna’s, I’ll call Brian. It’s going on two in the morning, and he has to be worried, but why should I care? Gah! It’s so hard not to care. Just because he cheated doesn’t give me the right to turn around and leave without letting him know where I am. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But, sometimes, thinking about myself instead of him is hard. He wasn’t thinking about me or my feelings today. When I pull up to Shawna’s condo, I get out of the car and stretch my cramped legs. Looking up to the fifteenth floor, where Shawna’s place is, I wonder when I got so focused on me that I lost touch with what’s going on with her. She recently moved in with Frank, and I’ve never met him even though he’s good friends with Brian. I can’t bother myself to come down and visit her, be here for her? I want to rush up to her place, but I’m anxious about having to tell her Brian’s fucking his secretary. It’s going to be hard for Shawna to hear because she loves us both and I don’t want her to have to take sides, but I need a friend to lean on and help me through this. I hope she’ll forgive me for being a terrible friend lately. Take a deep breath. Everything will work out. You’ll make it with or without Brian. You don’t need him. I feel like I’ve done nothing but talk to myself since I started driving, hoping that would help me work through everything. Now that I have Shawna, I can talk to her about it and she’ll actually have some advice. She always knows what to say and how to make me see both sides to every situation. She also knows when to simply comfort me. I don’t even have a chance to knock on her door before she’s opening the door and dragging me into her arms. “Hey, sweetie. Seeing as how you made it here so quickly, I take it you only stopped for potty breaks and gas? How was the drive?” I throw my arms around her and squeeze like I’m never going to let her go. “Yes. I wanted to get here as quickly as possible. I really don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m not sure I could handle my own thoughts any longer.” “Oh, sweetie. What happened? I hate that you needed me and I wasn’t closer to you,” Shawna says, stepping back and eyeing me. I can’t hide anything from her now. Her big, brown eyes are glued to me as she waits for me to tell her what’s wrong, but I don’t want her to feel bad. It isn’t her fault Brian cheated and I didn’t want to be alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that to her. She’s a fixer and doesn’t like anyone to be in pain. “I wish you could take the hurt away, but there’s nothing you could have done. Now, time with my bestie and some alcohol will help cheer me up.” “Anything you need. Also, Frank’s here, but he won’t stay if you don’t want him to. He understands you need girl time, but he’s excited to finally meet the woman who holds my heart,” she says, winking. I don’t want to meet her live-in boyfriend yet, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I mean, this is his condo. Where will he go? I wouldn’t normally be comfortable telling her what happened with a stranger in the room, though with enough alcohol, I’ll be able to open up. “What do you have to drink? Preferably something strong. I won’t make the best impression on him tonight, but I need the release.” I shouldn't resort to getting drunk, but sometimes, it does help. “Oh, that’s fine. He won’t hold this meeting against you.” She throws her arm around me. “I have

tequila. I hope you still like shots and margaritas.” This is why Shawna’s my best friend. I really should consider moving to California to be closer to her. Maybe that’ll help with the pain of not seeing Brian every day. The thought of being around him and his slut of a secretary makes my eyes sting. “You know me so well. I still love tequila,” I say, remembering some of the good times we’ve had. Finally, I take a look around. She has a really nice place with floor-to-ceiling windows. I bet it’s an amazing view; I can’t wait to see it in the daytime. I’m eager to see the rest of her home, but that can wait until tomorrow. “Let me show you to your room,” Shawna says, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Sounds good. I need to put my bag down and get into something comfortable.” I look down at my wrinkled slacks. My mother would disown me if she saw me wearing clothes that looked like I’d slept in them. “Donna, are you all right? You look like you’re about to fall apart.” “I am about to fall apart, but I just want to have a drink and then I’ll break down.” “Hey, come here.” Shawna pulls me into a hug. I can’t stop the tears now. I want to be strong, but I’m not. I feel like my whole life is falling apart in front of me. How do I get it back? “Can you show me the room now so I can set this bag down and then have a drink so we can talk? Please.” I should just let her comfort me, but…I can’t face saying what Brian did to me while sober. It’ll be hard enough saying it, even with liquid courage flowing through me. “Yes, and take your time. There’s a bathroom next door to your room if you’d like to use that as well. I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen, love.” Shawna gives me a hug and leaves me to my thoughts. While I’m in the guest room, I overhear Shawna and Frank talking. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem bothered that I showed up in the wee hours. He asks, “Would you like me to make the drinks while you go talk to Donna? Also, you need to tell her to call Brian. He’s already called here a couple of times and I hate lying to him.” She’s told me so much about Frank, but I didn’t believe there was a man out there who’d do anything for his girl. I’m not even sure Brian would be willing to stay up all night to wait for my friend to arrive then make drinks and be there for anything we needed. He’s always consumed with work. He does nice things for me, but his work always comes first. Brian said, “I won’t make partner by sitting around on my ass all day. I have to work hard to get to the top, and I’ll have to work even harder to stay on top. I don’t want people to think I got the job because my dad owns the firm.” He wants to make partner within the next two years, but he’s working sixty-plus hours a week to achieve that goal. I know he loves me, and one day, he won’t work as much, but sometimes, it’s hard being alone so much and feeling like I’ll always be second to his work. Well, fucking the secretary isn’t working very hard. It’s playing around, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive that. “Sweetie,” Shawna says. Crap. I was spaced out and didn’t even notice that Shawna had come back into the room. “Are you going to call Brian and let him know where you are?” she asks. “I’m not ready yet. I want to hear what your thoughts are before I call him, but I can’t ignore him, can I? Do you think he’s called my parents, looking for me?” “Let me or Frank call him for you. I’ll tell him you made an unexpected trip to see me because I got engaged, and you meant to leave a note and must’ve forgotten in your excitement. We don’t have to tell him the real reason yet,” she says.

It sounds like a good way to go about it. But he’d still wonder why I wasn’t the one to call him. “No, you can’t do that. I don’t want him to know where I am because I need some space to think. The moment he knows where I am, he’ll be on the next plane. Whoa, hang on a minute! You’re engaged?” I shout as I stare at her, my mouth gaping open. “When did this happen? Isn’t it too soon? You guys have only been together a few months.” I don’t know if I should be mad I’m only now finding out or if I should be excited she’s finally happy. “I was going to wait until after we talked about why you came to visit me so suddenly, but yes, I’m engaged! I’m so excited, and it happened last night. I was going to call you tonight and tell you. I wanted to call you last night, but he took me to the most romantic bed and breakfast and I was preoccupied with my man,” she says, wagging her eyebrows. “I’m thinking we’ll have to go there every year and celebrate the anniversary of our engagement.” She said the last part with so much enthusiasm that I don’t want to tell her my problems and burst her bubble. “Frank’s excited to finally meet you, but he’s going to let you have me to yourself so we can deal with whatever happened. He’ll even wait till tomorrow to get the proper introduction to you.” God, even when she’s excited for herself, she still puts others first. We should be celebrating her engagement, yet we’ll spend our precious time together talking about my disaster of a life. Hopefully, we can figure something out and celebrate while I’m here. “Can you give me a few minutes before I join you in the living room? I need to call Brian and let him know I won’t be home tonight.” “That’s a great plan. Don’t let him talk you into anything you don’t want to do. This is about you tonight. Not him,” Shawna says. “I won’t let him talk me into anything. I’m hoping I can get away with leaving a message.” I know she disagrees with me by the disappointed look she gives me. I’m hoping he’ll be asleep, but because he just called, he’s probably awake and waiting by the phone. As the phone rings, I silently chant, let the answering machine pick up. Please don’t let him pick up. Please. I need to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say without either breaking down in tears or yelling. I don’t want him to know yet that I went to his office today, but I won’t be able to hide it if we talk right now. The answering machine picks up and my breath catches until I hear the recorded greeting. Saved by the answering machine. “Hey. I won’t make it home tonight. Don’t worry. I’m safe and need some time away from all the wedding planning. Please don’t call my parents. I’m not at their place, and I don’t want to worry them. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can talk about everything.” I sigh as I end the call, relieved I don’t have to deal with him yet. Then my brain starts wondering where he is, what he’s doing. Why didn’t he answer the phone? Now that I’ve made the call, it’s time to talk to Shawna and see what she thinks. I need to think rationally. I can’t be one of those girls who accepts lies and stays with a cheater. I’m better than that. Maybe even Frank will have some advice, because I really do need help with this one. Could my mind have been playing tricks on me and it wasn’t really Brian? But I’d have known if it wasn’t my man, wouldn’t I? But, if it wasn’t Brian, who could it have been? So many thoughts swirl through my mind, and I can’t think straight.



Before Donna called and left that message, I’d been worried out of my mind, wondering what happened to her. It figures she’d call the one time I’m in the bathroom. I haven’t been able to sit still since I came home and found her gone. I called her parents—before she called me—and a few of her friends from work, and I even called hospitals to make sure nothing bad had happened to her. I would’ve called the police and filed a missing person report, but they won’t do anything until she’s been missing for at least twenty-four hours. This is so out of character for Donna. She never goes off anywhere without calling, leaving a message for me at work, or leaving me a note. Something had to have happened when she was with our mothers today to have caused her to run, but that still doesn’t make sense as to why she’d leave me without letting me know. What could have happened? Fred, the security guard in my office building, mentioned he’d spotted Donna practically running out of the building around lunchtime, but I hadn’t seen her. Why didn’t she come by my office? Did Janice forget to let me know she stopped by? Or had she come to see someone else? No, don’t even go there. Donna would never cheat on me. Fred also said, when she arrived, she looked very distraught and didn’t even stop to say hi like normal. I wonder if my dad knows what happened today. I can’t ask though, because if I do, he’ll know something’s wrong, and then he’ll try to fix it. And, by fix it, I mean he’ll send me one of his sluts. He thinks sex with random women will fix anything. That’s only one thing we disagree on. My thoughts are, if you’re committed to a woman, you shouldn’t be with another. He, on the other hand, thinks the more the merrier. Why be stuck with one when you can have a variety? Because she said she’s safe, my assumption is she’s with Shawna. There’s nowhere else she’d feel safe. I can relax a little. But she’s in California, at least a twelve-hour, if not closer to a fourteen-hour, drive away, and I want her in my arms. I don’t understand why she up and left. My head is spinning with all the possibilities of why. I need to see for myself she’s okay. I’ll call Shawna’s and hopefully she’ll answer me if Donna refuses to talk to me. What will I ask Shawna? Do I ask to talk to Donna? Or do I pretend not to know she’s there? Crap!

I’m still at a loss for what to do. After I’ve dialed Shawna’s number, she answers and her voice is bubbly even though it’s late and most phones calls this late are bad news. “Hello, Shawna, it’s Brian. How are you doing?” Could I possibly sound like more of an idiot right now? I’m sure she knows the sound of my voice by now. We’ve only been friends for almost eight years, though we’ve known about each other for fifteen. “I’m well. Is something wrong? You never call at two in the morning.” I love that she always tries to lighten the mood when it’s tense. But I now know I’m not supposed to know Donna’s there. What the hell did I do? Everything was fine this morning when I left for work. Shit. “Sorry. I didn’t even realize the time until the phone was already ringing. My head isn’t on straight at the moment. Have you by any chance heard from Donna?” Please let her say yes. If she says no, then I’ll know Donna doesn’t want to see me and I did something wrong. If she says yes, I’ll be on the next plane out. Shawna pulls me out of my head by asking me the question I can’t answer. “Brian, what happened? Why don’t you know where she is?” “To be honest with you, Shawna, I have no idea why she vanished. She called me a few minutes ago and left a message on the answering machine saying she’s safe and I shouldn’t worry, but this is so unlike her. If she’s in a safe place, it has to be with you. She told me not to contact her parents, so I’m almost positive she’s not there. I need to talk to her, though I’d prefer to see her and find out what happened. She was with our mothers today and they’re always pushing her around, but I can’t imagine what they’d do to make her leave without telling me.” Please let her tell me Donna is there. I want to make things right. “Brian, she showed up here about thirty minutes ago. We haven’t really had a chance to talk yet. I have no idea why she up and ran, but when she called me around noon, she was really upset. She was crying and I could barely understand a word she was saying. That has me worried. It has to do with you though. I did get that much. But I don’t know what happened. Let me talk to her, get her drunk like she wants. Then I’ll get in touch with you later this morning.” I guess that’s all I can hope for: that whatever happened can be fixed. I can’t lose Donna. She’s the love of my life, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to be with her. Trying to make partner at such a young age is stressful, but we can make it work. I need to make more of an effort in showing her how much she means to me. I’m trying to be successful so we have a better future, but I can’t let her think my job is more important than her. She is my number one, no matter what. Money isn’t everything, even though I sometimes think it is. Losing her, even if it’s only been a few hours, is showing me how much Donna really means to me. “Thanks for letting me know she’s there. I understand you need time with her, but I’ll fly down there in the morning. I’d be on a flight now if I could get one. Please don’t tell her I’m coming. I don’t want her to run away again. I need to talk to her. I’ve been dealing with some issues at work, and I’d planned to talk to her about them tonight because I need her help and support. I probably should have already asked her for it.” She has to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it. “Brian, I can’t guarantee I won’t tell her. She’s my best friend. Now, if you did something to hurt her, I’ll tell her and help her get away from you. If I don’t think she needs to know, then I’ll keep it from her. It’s so unlike her to be this upset. I’ve only seen her this way a few times, and usually, it was her parents causing it. Please be safe until I see you tomorrow. I’ll have Frank pick you up if you want to call us and tell us when you get a flight.” “No, I’ll get there on my own, but thanks for offering. Please take care of Donna for me.”

“I will, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” “Wait. Can I talk to Frank for a minute?” “Yes,” Shawna says. “Frank, Brian wants to talk to you.” “Hey, Brian.” “Hey, Frank. I need some advice. I’m an idiot and have been putting off talking to Donna about all the shit happening in the office. I have a feeling that’s why she ran. I’ve been finding more stuff. The condoms, the bras and underwear. The other day, I saw Janice hastily stuff some files into her drawer then lock it when I came out of my office suddenly. When I asked about them, she said they were nothing. She’s hiding something, but I don’t know what. What should I do? I’ve already put the cameras up and I’m going to see if I can find anything on them tonight.” “I’ll first say all of this sucks and is messed up. You need to talk to Donna about everything like I told you to do weeks ago, man. I know you had your reasons, but you’re going to lose her if you don’t talk to her soon. If I were you, I’d try to see what’s in the files or tell Bill about them.” “I don’t want to involve my father-in-law into my family problems unless I need to. He doesn’t need to worry about this stuff. Otherwise, I would have told him already about the cameras. As it is, no one but me knows about them.” I have a feeling my dad has something to do with those files I keep seeing Janice lock up. “That’s up to you, man, but don’t get in over your head.” “I won’t. Thanks for talking to me, man. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “See you tomorrow.” Once I get to the office, I do what I’ve been dreading and cue the video up to see if the cameras caught anything. I had these video cameras installed because weird things have been happening. Not only have I been finding random things in my office, but I’ve been seeing files not labeled correctly and then disappearing. I never thought I’d really be using the cameras, but now, I need to know what scared Donna off. Watching the playback, I see that, at around eleven forty-five, Janice walks over to my desk and starts stripping. I’m guessing someone else is in there, but I can’t be positive because I can’t see the door. After she’s completely naked, she sits on my desk and leans back on her elbows. Her feet are on the desk and her knees spread as wide as possible. A few seconds later, someone else walks up to her. I can’t see his face, but from the way he swaggers, I’m guessing my worst nightmare is about to come true. Once I see who it is, I turn the video off. I can’t watch any more of this. But I have the proof to bust my dad if needed. After watching the video, I can’t focus on anything else. All I can think about is my brown-haired, brown-eyed beauty, wondering if she came up to my office when all of that was happening. Would she have come into the office? Did she come in and think it was me? I hope she’ll let me explain what's been going on in the office. I have a feeling she thinks it was me this morning. I can’t even imagine the pain she must be feeling if she thinks it was me with Janice. It’s probably worse because Donna has never really liked Janice, and Janice lets her know all the time that she’s interested in being more than just my secretary. God, what a mess of a day it’s been. I can only pray that I can fix things with Donna. I can’t help but wish we were curled up against each other in our bed right now. Instead, I’m at the office, hoping I can fix this mess of a situation. What I wouldn’t give to be at Shawna’s so I could make that fantasy come true. Tomorrow, I’ll have my love in my arms. Hopefully, if she doesn’t hate me for hiding all the stuff going on in the office. I’ll fall asleep with her curled around me, and I’ll wake up to her big doe eyes looking back at me.



It’s time to quit stalling and tell Shawna what happened. She’ll be shocked because she really likes Brian and we both thought he’d never do this. Although I grew up with both of them, they didn’t meet until college. I only saw Shawna when I went to Wisconsin to visit my grandparents for the summer, so we did a lot of communicating by letters, and every couple of months on special days, we’d call each other. The two of them got to know each other in college, and he’d always set her up with his friends. That’s how she met Frank. He and Brian had some classes together in law school, but they didn’t hang out otherwise. They recently got in touch through a support group set up for alumni to get advice from their peers. Brian and Frank instantly became good friends even though they lived a state away. When Brian found out Frank lived near Shawna, he decided to play matchmaker again. Apparently, it’s working out for them. Even though it’s only been four months, they seem happy. Not only are they living together, but they’re engaged, and I couldn’t be happier. “Shawna, thanks for the drinks and being here for me! I really need this!” I yell as I walk into the kitchen. “Oh shit, I forgot you were here, Frank.” I feel stupid for blabbing away like normal. Frank speaks first. “Don’t worry, Donna. I understand you’re having a difficult night. As long as you’re a fun drunk, we’re good,” he says, winking. I think we’ll get along well. Hopefully, he’ll make Shawna a happy woman for a very long time. She deserves to be happy and find a man who wants her for her and not what she can give him. “Hey, Donna. Here’s your drink and a shot. Hurry and chug it. Frank will make us another while we talk.” I down my shot and then Shawna’s before she even finishes her sentence. I proceed to guzzle my margarita, not even waiting for Shawna to sit down at the bar. Then I start talking. “So, Marianne and Jolene were being pushy about the wedding as usual, but today, they hit a nerve. You know I want flame lilies and bleeding hearts as my flowers, and I want ruby and silver as my colors, but they disagree. They say flame lilies and bleeding hearts aren’t a typical flower and I won’t be able to get them. They say I need something people will actually recognize.” God, even talking about it makes my heart beat speed up and my face get warm. “Since it’s a summer wedding, why not

purple and blue, make it a more colorful day? They bitched.” Red is colorful. “I was about to pull out my hair, so I told my mom I had a lunch date with Brian then left to surprise him. Normally, I’d call first, but I was so flustered that I didn’t even think about it. When I showed up, Janice wasn’t at her desk, which I found very odd because she always watches Brian’s office like a hawk to make sure no one gets in. And you know how she’s constantly trying to keep me away.” I stop to take a breath. “Why is Janice not being at her desk a problem?” Frank asks, frowning, his nose scrunched up and his eyebrows knitted together. “Hold on. I’m getting there.” I sit for a couple of moments, taking deep breaths, and then I chug the rest of my drink. A little more liquid courage will help—and hopefully hold the tears at bay. “Since Janice wasn’t around, I figured I’d surprise him. I needed the quiet and figured it wouldn’t hurt to be waiting in his office when he got back. As I approached the door, I should’ve recognized the sounds, but my mind wasn’t processing anything. Instead, I was lost in thought about how I could get ‘The Moms’ to leave me alone, I pushed the door open and all I could see was Brian fucking Janice with his face buried in her breasts. Then Janice started moaning. Before I could say anything, she said, ‘Harder, Brian. Right there. Don’t stop.’ Then she looked directly at me and smirked. It’s like she knew I was going to be there. Why else would she look up at that moment? I wanted to scream and yell at them, but I couldn’t, so I ran as fast as I could out of the building. I didn’t want anyone to see me break down and warn Brian I’d been there. And you know the rest because I called you right after that.” God, that was so hard to say out loud. I don’t want to cry again, but I can feel the tears streaming down my face. I don’t want to be an emotional wreck all day. “Oh, Donna. What the fuck? How could he do this to you? He knows your history. I’ll help you castrate him.” She takes a deep breath then quietly asks, “Are you sure it was Brian?” “I want to be mad you’d even ask me that, but it’s the same thing I would’ve asked if I hadn’t seen it for myself. Don’t you think I would have known if it wasn’t Brian? I should’ve said something so he would have turned around, but I can’t go back and change anything, and I can’t quit hearing those sounds. They’re plaguing me.” I reach for Shawna’s drink and chug her margarita. Alcohol isn’t the answer, but sometimes, you need to forget, if only for a few hours. Frank leans forward in his chair. “Donna, you may not want my advice, but I really think you should talk to Brian about this. I know him, and I can’t see him cheating on you. He told me a while back there were some weird things going on in the office, and he was going to talk to you about them. Tonight, he mentioned he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you yet. Give him a chance to explain himself.” “I’m not sure why he felt he couldn’t talk to me but he could to you,” I mumble under my breath, hurt because Brian would tell Frank and not me. I’m sure my feelings are unjustified, but I can’t help but feel this way. “I do plan on talking to him, just not tonight. I can’t with my emotions all over the place. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. How can he deny that it was him? I saw him.” A part of me wishes he were here to talk to now. I need to know why he’d cheat on me. “You didn’t really see him though. You only saw the guy’s butt and legs. It could have been anyone,” Frank says. “I’m not trying to say you’re wrong. I only want you to see it possibly wasn’t him. If you didn’t see his face or anything on his body that tells you it was him, then how do you know for sure?” “I don’t and I won’t. I’m hoping to keep an open mind when I talk to him, but without knowing for sure, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to believe him. And that breaks my heart.” I know not to drink on an empty stomach, but I wasn’t thinking about that when I started drinking, and now, my head is starting to spin and my stomach is gurgling. I’m going call it a day. Yesterday

was a long, stressful day and, with everything that’s happened, my body’s exhausted. Surely I can get all of my answers when I wake up in a few hours and call Brian. “Thank you both for letting me crash here. You guys have been a lot of help, and I really appreciate it. I’m going to go pass out now, and pray that, when I wake, it the day brings some clarity and no hangover.” “Goodnight,” they say in unison. Once in bed, I can’t sleep. All I can think about is Brian. I don’t want to believe he’d cheat on me, but I saw him. Or did I? I really want to speak with him, but I’m drunk. If I call him now, then he’ll know he’s busted. But I want to see his face when I tell him because then I’ll know whether or not he’s lying. He’s never been the best liar. Shawna told me I could use her phone to call Brian if I wanted to, and before I can stop myself, I am dialing him. I want to hang up, but I can’t. “Hello,” Brian says. Hearing his voice brings tears to my eyes. “Hello? Donna, is that you?” I want to answer him because this is the man I’ve come to know as my protector and the love of my life. “Please, baby, answer me. I need to know you’re all right.” But hearing his voice also causes me to question everything he’s ever said to me. Shit, I have to answer. I’m the one who called him. “Yes, I’m here,” I say, but I’m not sure if I can trust him or myself. Double shit—I should have followed through with my plan of going to sleep and waiting a few hours to call him. Stupid girl. “ Thank God. Are you okay? Where are you? Wait. To be honest, I already know you’re at Shawna’s because I called her. I was worried about you.” Even though he’d called several times, he still wanted to check up on me and make sure I was safe for himself. “I’m doing better now. I’m going to have a hangover from hell in the morning. Or, well, in a few hours when I wake up.” I lose my train of thought. This is why I shouldn’t drunk call. “Oh, I’m planning to drive home later today so we can talk.” “What? You’re going to drive home by yourself? I really don’t think you should. Will you be sober enough to drive? Can Shawna and Frank come with you? I would really love to see them. Then they can fly home. We can buy their plane tickets. With the stress of the wedding and all the driving yesterday into the wee hours of the morning, you’ll be too tired to do it all by yourself, and I would hate for anything bad to happen to you.” See, this is why I fell for this man. He’s always looking out for me. He wants me to be happy. He always says, “If you’re happy, then I’m happy.” Up until yesterday at his office, I believed him. “I’ll ask them in a few hours when they get up. They’ve been talking about coming up for a visit so I could meet Frank and you could see them. I don’t know why you didn’t set them up when you were in law school. They seem to be amazing together.” “Well, if they can’t come with you, I’ll fly out and we can take the weekend to drive home. I actually like that idea better. There are some things we need to talk about, and it’ll give us alone time. What do you think about me coming out to drive home with you?” God, that sounds wonderful. Man up and tell him how you really feel. “You know what? No, I don’t want you to come out here. The whole purpose for me coming out here was to get away from you and figure out how to deal with my broken heart. Not let you back in instantly.” Oh shit. Did I say that out loud?

“Why did you need to get away from me? I haven’t seen you since I kissed you goodbye yesterday morning,” Brian says. “I don’t want to go into that right now. What I want to do is go to bed and pray that I don’t wake up hungover.” “Donna, I need to know why you ran. Did you come to the office yesterday?” “Brian, I can’t talk about this right now. I have my reasons. Please don’t force me to talk now.” I’m being a brat by not answering him, but I don’t want to talk about it yet. “Fine, but I’m not thrilled you won’t even tell me if you showed up at my office yesterday.” Deep breath. “We really need to talk about what happened yesterday, but it’ll be on my terms, not yours. You’re the asshole who couldn’t be honest with me. Frank told me you’ve been meaning to talk to me about something, but apparently, I’m not worthy enough to know what it is yet.” Why did I have to go and say that? Drunk. No filter. “Plus, I need some time to relax and hang with Shawna. If you’re with me, I won’t be relaxing or spending much time with her. I won’t have any time to process where I see myself going from here.” “Please, let me come drive home with you. You can still hang out with Shawna. You can ignore me all you want while we’re at her house, but once we start the drive home, you’ll be all mine.” I can’t really argue with him. I don’t want to make that drive home alone, and I really do need to get some questions answered. “I can’t stop you from doing what you want to do. I’m not agreeing with you, but I know you’ll come whether I want you to or not.” “Thank you, baby, for letting me come get you. And yes, we need to talk about yesterday and what happened, but I have a feeling its part of the reason I need to talk to you. I don’t want to do this over the phone though. I want you to be able to look in my eyes when I answer your questions. I want you to have no doubt I’m telling the truth. So please sleep well, and I’ll see you in a few hours.” “Goodnight, Brian. See you soon. I love you.” Shit. Why’d I say that? Oh well, I do love him—even if he did cheat. You can’t stop loving someone overnight. “Good night, my beauty. Sweet dreams. Love you.” I hang the phone up, climb into bed, and pass out.



God, why did I let myself drink so much last night without eating? It feels as if there’s a jackhammer going off in my head. The sunlight shining through the windows is killing my eyes. Why does the bed have to face the window? And why are the curtains wide open? I know not to get drunk, and I didn’t even get the escape I needed because I broke down and called Brian last night. I remember pieces of the conversation. “Oh shit,” I cry when I realize he’ll be here today. Knowing him, he was on the first flight out. I’m thinking no later than ten, which is only thirty minutes from now. I need to hurry up and get dressed so I can warn Shawna and Frank that he’s coming. After hopping out of bed, I race over to my bag, grab the first pair of pants and shirt I see, and throw them on. Hopefully, they match. I can’t believe I acted so casual with him on the phone. I made it seem like I wasn’t even pissed off at him. Alcohol doesn’t have the angry affect with me. It makes me lovey-dovey. He has no idea what a shit storm he’s walking in on today. He’s probably been wondering why I left. He probably thought it had to do with our moms, but then, last night, I basically called him a lying asshole. How could I have let myself talk to him without even yelling at him? He deserved my anger last night, and then I agreed to him flying down here to freaking drive me home. How stupid can I be? I’m turning into one of those women who lets their man walk all over them. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I have to talk with Shawna and let her know I made a colossal mistake and I need to get away. I’m not ready to face Brian yet. “Hey, guys,” I say, walking into the kitchen and holding my throbbing head. I plop down next to Shawna at the breakfast bar. It’s so bright in here; those floor-to-ceiling windows sure do let a lot of light in. “Good morning, sleepy head. How do you feel?” Frank walks over from the stove and sets water and sets an ibuprofen in front of me. “Thank you! If you weren’t Shawna’s man, I’d kiss you for giving me these,” I blurt, grateful I didn’t even have to ask for them.

“You’re welcome,” Frank says as his face turns pink and he backs away from me. “I feel like shit. I ended up calling Brian last night. He’s going to be here sometime this morning, but I don’t know when.” I don’t even get another word out before the doorbell rings. I glare at Shawna and Frank. “Let me guess. You already knew he was coming, and you weren’t even going to wake me to let me know.” I don’t know why I’m upset she didn’t wake me, but I feel she should have. “Hey, you’re the one who invited him, not me, so don’t go getting all bitchy on me.” See, this is why I love Shawna. And why we’ve become such good friends. We aren’t afraid to call each other on our shit, and neither one of us lets the other one get away with acting like a total bitch for no reason. “Fine. But you can answer the door since I don’t want to see him. If I had been the least bit sober last night, I would’ve given him an earful about what a piece of shit he is instead of telling him to come on down. Though I don’t think I told him to come. If memory serves me correctly, I told him I didn’t want him to come. Why’d you let me get drunk and leave me unsupervised with a phone?” “Tell it like it really is,” Brian says behind me. Slowly turning around, I see Brian and Frank standing in the kitchen doorway. Shit. When did Frank go answer the door? I really am out of it this morning. “Well, hello there, Brian. I’m going to go get myself together, as I wasn’t expecting you quite so early. Well, at all, actually, but my stupid-ass drunk mouth brought you here.” Wow, that came out sounding colder than I’d meant it to, but he needs to know I’m not happy with him. “Good morning, beautiful. My guess is you feel like shit. You’re always short with me when you’re hungover. Go take a nice hot shower, and I’ll be here when you get out. We’ve got all day.” I don’t respond to his snide comment about me being short with him. I turn and stomp away, calling out, “I do feel like shit, and it isn’t for the reason you think. I’d take this hangover any day of the week over having my heart ripped out and fed through a shredder like you did with it.” After saying that, I rush into the bathroom and lock myself in. The last thing I need is Brian or Shawna coming in. I need time to think and get ready for what will hopefully be an eye-opening weekend.



The combination of the hot shower and the ibuprofen helped my hangover, but neither could help with my broken heart. Now that I can finally function, I join my friends and Brian in the kitchen. “Look who finally decided to join us,” Shawna jokes. Oh, I hate when they draw attention to me, but at least no one’s thinking about the tension between me and Brian. “Oh, take a flying leap,” I say, knowing that will piss her off because friend-fighting with her takes my mind off Brian. “Oh, you did not just tell me to go F off. Those are fighting words,” she says back to me. “Actually, I didn’t say the F-word. Though you know I love to say it as often as possible in different ways because you hate when I say fuck, fuck, fuck. Coming up with different ways keeps you on your toes.” I laugh now that I’ve made her just as embarrassed. “Donna, stop picking on poor Shawna,” Brian chides. “But she knows I don’t like having attention focused on me ever, and that’s what she did,” I say, sounding like a child. “You two are worse than kids. Why don’t we all play nicely,” Frank suggests. He hasn’t seen Shawna and me together before, so our friend-fighting is a first for him. He better get used to it, though, because I plan on being around a lot more. I don’t like being away from her for as long as I have been. “Fine, I’ll behave.” I stick my tongue out at Shawna, eliciting a laugh from both Brian and Frank. “Oh, grow up, Donna,” Shawna says, smirking. “So, what are the plans for today?” I look over at Brian because I’m not sure what his plans are. We need to talk, but is Shawna’s house the right place for this conversation? Should we leave? Or can I spend the day with Shawna while he goes off with Frank and then meet up with him later? I’m not sure waiting a couple of hours is going to hurt anything, but I don’t know if I can be around him that long without saying something. “Shawna, could you excuse us for a moment? I want to talk to Donna. Alone.” Brian leads me out of the kitchen and pulls me down the hallway. As soon as he has me in the bedroom, he closes the door and pins me to it.

He kisses me as though it’s the last time he’ll be able to, and I want to stop him, but it feels so right. I’ve missed him. Finally, I push him away. I can tell it bothers him that I stopped the kiss, but I’m hurt by what I saw yesterday. “I can’t do this with you right now. I can’t even stand the sight of you. I should go bleach out my mouth. Even looking at you makes me question everything.” “What are you talking about? I haven’t done anything wrong. I left you yesterday morning like I do every morning. I didn’t even talk to you all day. How could I have done something wrong?” “Oh, so, you’re going to play dumb? That’s so typical of you. And any man, for that matter.” “I’m not playing dumb! What did I supposedly do?” Brian screams at me. The playing-dumb comment was a low blow because his dad used to say that to him all the time, but I’m so mad and hurt that I can’t help yelling back at him. “Don’t you fucking patronize me, you asshole!” I really need to calm down. Turning away so I don’t have to look at him will hopefully help a little. Saying these hurtful things is what I wanted to avoid because I’ll only end up regretting them, but it’s hard to not keep spewing all this shit at him. Turning back around, I can see the pain on his face. How can he act like he’s hurting? He’s the one who fucked another woman. “We really should talk,” I say. “I need answers before we act like everything’s okay. I realize that isn’t what you want to hear right now, but it’s the way it needs to be. You can’t come here and stake your claim on me. Right now, I’m not yours. You lost the right to call me yours when you fucked that slut of a secretary you have!” Oh shit. Did I really scream at him? That was not the way I was planning on bringing that up. “Why the hell would you say I fucked Janice? I haven’t touched any woman but you and you know that.” He’s pissed now. Well, good, because I’m fucking livid. “Did you know I was at your office yesterday afternoon? I’m guessing you did because I remember you asking me a couple of times last night. I’m sure Fred told you he saw me going up to your office, and he probably even noticed me storming out. Why would I be running out after coming up to your office to see you? Hmmmm. . .do you think it could be because you couldn’t keep your fucking dick in your pants?” I’m so pissed that I can’t even see straight. A wet spot on my cheek is the only thing letting me know I’m crying. I didn’t want to do this here, but I’m glad I got all of that off my chest. He starts pacing around the room. Is he going to defend himself, or is he going to come clean and tell me he’s madly in love with Janice and he’s going to leave me for her? “I don’t know if I should leave and let you believe the shit you just spewed at me or if I should set you straight. I don’t believe, after all these years, you’d think so little of me.” “What would you like me to believe? That I was seeing things? That I was imagining a man pumping furiously into a woman who was moaning and yelling, ‘Harder, Brian. Right there. Don’t stop’? Tell me what you’d think and do if you came to my work and heard and saw something similar?” I know he’d believe I was cheating on him. “First, I’d beat the living shit out of the guy. Then I’d walk out and never look back again. It would be the hardest fucking thing ever, but I wouldn’t be able to stay with a cheater.” He takes a deep breath as if he’s really picturing this happening. “Second, why didn’t you scream at them and give them a piece of your mind? If you would have, you’d have known it wasn’t me. I wasn’t even in the damn building. I had no idea who the guy was until the wee hours of the morning, but I’m fairly positive it was Janice being a conniving bitch.” He pauses again, his eyes all watery. “This is something you should have already known, but I’m an

idiot. I’ve been having issues with her but haven’t said anything to you yet because I know you hate her and I didn’t want you to worry any more than you already do. I’ve had some suspicions she’s been trying to set me up to look like a cheater for a few weeks now, but I see not telling you was the wrong thing to do.” You think? “Why not tell me to begin with? Withholding information makes you look guilty.” “I didn’t want to stress you out more. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate with the wedding and all the crap ‘The Moms’ put you through. I was waiting to get some concrete evidence before I told you, hoping to prevent anything like this from happening.” “I’m at a loss for words. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I don’t know the right thing to believe or do, and I’m not sure we can accomplish anything right now. I need some time to absorb and process everything. I’ve always believed you’d never cheat on me, but what I saw and heard makes me question everything even though you say it wasn’t you. I want to hear more about Janice setting you up, but not right now. Plus, wouldn’t I notice if it wasn’t you?” “I’m sorry you’re conflicted. I want so badly to tell you to believe me, but you need to come to that conclusion on your own. I can only hope, once you’ve had time to think and process everything, you’ll want to sit down and talk with me. I understand that it would be devastating to see and hear something like that. As I said to you, I would have beat the guy. Please take all the time you need to figure it out, but please come home with me. Don’t leave me yet. I simply can’t live my life without you.” “I really need some time alone. I came here to be with Shawna. I need time away from you so I can think clearly. Having you around is going to cloud my judgment. I’m not saying you have to go home, but I need today to be with Shawna. Maybe you and Frank can hang out and do something.” “I can work with that. I can’t leave here without you, so I’m happy you didn’t ask that of me.” Heading to the door, I look back and say, “Thank you for coming for me even though I can’t give you the welcome you were looking for.” Then I, leave him alone. Walking into the kitchen Shawna and Frank drop their jaws when they see I’m alone. I have a feeling they thought I was going to be coming out with Brian in tow and all would be forgotten and forgiven. I can’t do that without making sure I’m doing the right thing. I don’t want to be one of those women who believes their guy isn’t a cheater when he really is. “Shawna, I know you thought I’d forgive Brian and all would be well, but I can’t be around him right now. I need time to think and process everything he told me. I’m sure you guys heard some of our conversation. I’d like to steal you away and have a girls’ day. Maybe Frank can hang with Brian?” Looking over at Frank, I hope he’ll be on board with this idea. “I told Brian I needed today. Maybe, by tonight, I’ll be ready to talk with him more.” “Donna, you know I’ll do whatever you need. Let’s go have a girls’ day and leave the men to do whatever they do.” I’m so happy she’s on board with this. I want to relax and think about what the right thing is in this situation. I don’t want to make the mistake of a lifetime and regret it later. There is too much riding on the decision. Then Brian walks into the kitchen. “Bye, Brian. I’ll see you later this evening.” I wish I could tell him I’m sorry that I’m hurting him by taking time, but I don’t think I should be sorry. “Bye. Have a great day. I love you. I always have and always will,” he says. *** Spending the day at the arcade with Shawna was a lot of fun. We got to act like kids. I haven’t played Galaga in so long. After I kept beating Shawna, she wanted to play some other games. PacMan, Donkey Kong, Frogger, Centipede, and Tetris all got some of our attention. It was so refreshing

to let go of everything and pretend to be a kid again. I don’t understand why kids always wish away being a kid to be an adult. It really isn’t any fun. I had a great time with Shawna, but I didn’t have a lot of time to think over everything Brian had said. But that’s okay because I feel like I’m more relaxed and able to listen to what he has to say now. The great thing about today was there was no talking about Brian or anything that brought me to California. To make it fair, we didn’t talk about Frank, either. I wasn’t sure what to expect when we got back to Shawna’s, but I never could have imagined what greets us when we arrive. Frank is waiting outside to whisk Shawna away. “Now, you behave tonight, Donna,” Frank says. “Don’t give my boy too hard of a time. Let him talk to you.” “I will. You two really don’t need to leave your place to give us alone time. We can always get a hotel. I feel bad that you guys are leaving.” “Don’t feel bad. We want you both to feel comfortable enough to talk things out. Please don’t feel like you’re putting us out. I have a special surprise for my lady here,” Frank says as he opens the car door for Shawna. Walking up to the apartment has my nerves going crazy, and I have butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know what to expect from Brian. I want to believe he wasn’t the man in his office, but how can I when I saw him and heard the woman say his name? But did I really see him? Do I walk into the condo, or do I knock? I’m guessing, because they left us to the place, that I can just open the door. As I’m pondering what to do, Brian. “You going to stand out there all night, or you going to come in?” Looking up, I see him standing in the doorway, holding the door open for me. “I was planning on coming in. I wasn’t sure if I should walk in or knock.” “I’d say walk in, but now that I have the door open, I’ll invite you in. Come on in, beautiful.” “What are you doing, Brian?” “I wanted to have some peace and quiet to talk with you. I need to tell you about everything that’s been going on in the office and what we, as in you and me, should do about it. We need to do this as a couple and not me doing it solo like I was. That was stupid of me.” This is going to be a long conversation, so I sit on the couch. Brian can either follow or not. “Brian, I’m going to come out with it. I know you told me it wasn’t you, but with seeing you and hearing Janice moaning and shouting, ‘Harder, Brian,’ what am I supposed to think? Janice has never liked me and is always blatantly eye-fucking you in front of me. You’re always working long hours. Again, Brian, what am I supposed to think?” My voice gets louder the more I say. I need to take a deep breath and calm down. Shawna and Frank might get pissed if their neighbors call the cops or the condo manager on us because we’re too loud. “First of all, I wasn’t in my office during lunch yesterday. Second, I have proof it wasn’t me. And last, you need to breathe and calm down, hun. I want you to listen to everything I’ve been needing to say, and then you can ask questions.” “Don’t you dare sit there and tell me to calm the fuck down. I don’t need to be calm. I can do what I want. Until you prove it wasn’t you, I’m allowed to be angry. I have all the evidence I need to believe it was you. So please excuse me if I’m having trouble not being pissed at you.” “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to tell you what to do. I didn’t want you to have a panic attack.” I know he cares about me, so I listen to him tell me his dad’s been trying to get him to hook up with Janice because “it’s all right to have a side piece of ass.” That it’s a given for a man, and I wouldn’t leave him or say anything about it. His father believes I’m unable to be a wild, crazy minx in the

bedroom, and all men need a mistress to fulfill their deepest desires. He then goes on to tell me he’s noticed random things in his office—used condoms, panties, even a bra. He briefly mentions that there is something else going on with some mysterious files, but I honestly can’t follow along at this point. I’m still pissed about the condoms, the panties, and the bra left in his office. “What the fuck? Why didn’t you bring this up before? I can’t believe you’ve left me in the dark on all this. You do realize this makes you look guilty, telling me all of this now, after I caught you.” “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew who was trying to set me up. I didn’t want you to think I was messing around but trying to make it look like I wasn’t. I set up a video camera in my office and told Janice I’d be out for a few hours, but you’d be coming by for lunch around noon. “I didn’t know you’d actually show up, but since I thought she was the culprit, I figured that’d be a great incentive to get her to use my office again. The one thing I didn’t expect to see in that video was the man. I know he’s cheated before, but I don’t understand why he wanted to set me up. Unless he somehow knows I came upon the unmarked files Janice has been keeping hidden from everyone.” His hesitation to tell me who’s behind this tells me who it is. “Your father ’s the man, isn’t he? Oh my gosh, Brian. I’m so sorry. Why would he do this to you? He’s never really liked me, even though our moms pushed us together. What does your father have against me? What’d I ever do to deserve this? We don’t deserve this. . . You’re his son, for Christ’s sake. He should want you happy.” I’m crying now. I had no idea his dad hated me this much. Why would he attempt to ruin his son’s life? How could I have mistaken him for Brian? “I don’t know exactly what he’s trying to accomplish, Donna, but I’m done with him. I’m thinking of leaving the firm. I can’t work with him anymore, and I don’t know if I can allow him to remain in my life, either. He’s a manipulative bastard. It’s always been his way or the highway, but I never thought he’d stoop this low. Please know I’d never cheat on you. You mean the world to me. I can’t live without you.” “Oh, Brian, why didn’t you tell me right away? How was I to know you were being set up when you wouldn’t talk to me? I want to feel bad, but I know deep down I was right to leave.” If only my heart and my brain would feel the same way. “No, you have nothing to be sorry about. I know how horrible it must’ve been for you to see and hear. I had trouble myself watching the video. I have no doubt in my mind they wanted you to hear them, and they wanted you to leave me. I know why Janice wanted you out of the way, but I’m not sure what my dad hoped to gain.” He rubs the back of his neck. Wow. I never suspected that his father was this vindictive. I want to go home right now and get to the bottom of this. There must be a reason his dad wants me gone after all these years. I wonder what happened to make him feel this way. Something did. He’s not an overly friendly man, but he usually ignores me and goes about his life. “Brian, please don’t get mad at this question, but I need to know. I know your dad’s always thrown easy, slutty women at you, but did you ever take him up on his offers? We’ve been together since we were sixteen, but I also remember it didn’t start out great because I was against dating you because it’s what our parents wanted.” I shouldn’t have tried to push him away. God, I hope he says no. He told me he was a virgin when we got together; it’s what made our first time together so special. We got to experience it together and didn’t have to worry we’d let one another down. “Let me say this, and I’ll only say it once. I have never, and will never, cheat on you. You may not have wanted to be with me from the beginning, but I’ve always wanted you, and I’m happy our parents threw us together. I love you and would do anything in the world to make you happy.” “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with you,” I say. “It was more I didn’t want to ruin our friendship

and I hate being told what to do.” I need him to understand I’ve always wanted him but I valued our friendship more. “Also, I didn’t think you had, but that was one reason I thought maybe your dad would want me gone. Maybe you used to enjoy the women with him and he didn’t want to lose his wingman.” God, that sounds stupid. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he’s doing this to me, to us.” I hate that he’s so broken right now. I want him to be happy and not have to worry about all of this shit. “So, what’re we going to do now? Where do we go from here?” “Let’s get some sleep and deal with my dad when we get home tomorrow. I have a feeling my walking away will cause them to threaten to disown me, but at this point, I really don’t care if he does. What he did to you, to us, is unforgivable.” “While I understand it’s important to talk to your dad as soon as possible, I’d like to stay and visit with Shawna and Frank tomorrow. Hang out with them again tomorrow and leave in the evening to head home. Maybe leave after dinner and then stop somewhere for the night and then drive the rest of the way the next morning.” I feel like a bitch for wanting to stay with Shawna, but I haven’t seen her in forever. I need some time with her before we head back home to the unknown. “I’d rather us head home now, but I know how much staying means to you. We don’t get to see Shawna and Frank often, so we can put this on hold for the weekend. A day of fun is something we can both use. You’ve been stressed with the wedding, and I’ve been killing myself at work.” “About that. What’re you going to do for work if you leave your dad’s firm? Can you get a job with the same perks? What about talking with my dad about staying on with him? I know you want to be financially secure before we start a family.” “I’ll do what I can to find a job, but I’m not too worried. Your dad may be able to help me out. We’ll have to play it by ear. I need to do this for you, also. I want you to know you’re the most important thing in my life. I would give up everything for you.” “I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” I keep saying this, but I don’t know how else to tell him I’m truly sorry for running away from him. “As I said earlier, don’t feel sorry. You had no idea it wasn’t me. I love the fact that you reacted to it. It tells me you really do care about me.” Tonight couldn’t have gone any better. I’m so happy we’re finally getting back on track to us and actually getting some quality time together. It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything like this. “Well, why don’t we head to bed? Tomorrow, we can go hang with our friends,” I say. While I forgave him tonight, I still have doubts in my mind. I don’t want to be this frustrating girl who believes one minute and then doesn’t the next, but getting my brain to believe what my heart does is proving difficult. In my heart, I know he’d never cheat, but my brain saw it all playing out. “Sounds good. There’s only one guest room, so I’ll grab a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch,” Brian says. I like that he didn’t assume we’d be sleeping together. Although I don’t want him to sleep on the couch, I’m not ready to instantly hop back into bed with him because I haven’t seen this proof. While my heart believes him, my brain won’t be able to until I see the proof. “Brian, there isn’t any reason you can’t sleep in the bed with me. But I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.” “I only want to hold you in my arms tonight. Being away from you last night was really hard.” Getting into bed, I start to feel like everything is finally falling into place. It doesn’t take long before I drift off to sleep. There is nothing better than falling asleep on the chest of your man. Nothing. Well, one thing, but I’m the idiot who put the kibosh on that.



W aking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee is heaven. Well, there is one thing more heavenly, and that is waking up in Brian’s arms and having freshly brewed coffee delivered to you in bed, but I can’t be in Brian’s arms and have him delivery me coffee at the same time. “Hey, Brian? We should probably get up. Shawna and Frank must be home. I can smell coffee, and I need some.” “I’m awake. I’ve been awake for a while. I had trouble sleeping. I kept checking to make sure you were really in my arms and I wasn’t dreaming.” Aww, my poor guy. “I’m sorry. I feel bad that we’ve both suffered. Know this: I am here for you and with you. I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Before we can even get out of bed, someone pounds on the door. Then we hear Shawna say, “Get up. It’s time to get a move on. We have people to do and things to see.” “Don’t you mean people to see and things to do?” Brian counters. “Nope, I said it right. Now, get out of bed and let’s go.” “We’re up, and we’ll be out in a minute.” I really want coffee, but before I can even get out of bed, Brian pulls me back against his chest. “Where do you think you’re going?” “Coffee. I must have coffee.” “You and your coffee. I need lots of things and I don’t see me getting them. So, why should you get coffee?” “If you value your life, you’ll let me up to get coffee.” “Fine. I’ll go take a cold shower, then. I’ll be right out,” he says, getting out of bed and heading to the shower. I feel bad, but I won’t let him back in fully until I have my proof. When I walk into the kitchen, I’m greeted by Shawna and Frank, who are at the table, talking. “So, what do you guys want to do today?” I ask. “I figured we’d stay in town for the day and hang out.” I grab the biggest mug I can find and pour myself some coffee. Then I sit with Shawna and Frank.

“Oh, that sounds awesome. We haven’t done something together in a long time. Why don’t we do something fun so that we can all act like a bunch of kids,” Shawna replies. “You always act like a kid, so that’s nothing new,” Brian says, walking into the kitchen. “Hey now. You and Donna are always right there, acting like kids with me,” Shawna says. “Yes, we are. Why be an adult when you can be a kid?” I say. Shawna claps and bounces in her seat. “Okay, give me ten minutes to get ready. Come on, Brian.” I grab his hand and pull him along with me. Once in the room, I say, “Hey, are you still all right with hanging out today then heading home tonight?” He takes a deep breath. “As much as I want to clear the air with my father, I know how much you miss Shawna and want to spend time with her. Plus…” He reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “We both could use a day of fun to clear our heads, don’t you think?” “I do, but…” He’s being so considerate, so sweet, putting my needs before his. I squeeze his fingers. “I don’t want you to be stressed and worrying over what is going on back home.” “That won’t be a problem once we get out and the fun begins.” He grins. I love his playful, infectious grin. When haven’t we had a great time when he gives me that grin? I jiggle our clasped hands. “You’re right. Let’s enjoy the day with Shawna and Frank before we make a mess of everything back home.” So many emotions are flowing through me right now, and so much of our life is up in the air that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. But, sometimes, when the going gets tough, all you can do is laugh. “You know I enjoy spending the day with you, and we might as well take advantage of having our best friends with us. We can leave after dinner, drive a few hours, then get a room and talk some more. We should probably figure out what we’re going to do. We don’t have to make any set plans. Just talk it over a little.” “Sounds good to me. Now, let’s go see if they're ready to begin a day of fun.” I turn to walk out the door. Before I can reach it, he grabs me, spins me around, and kisses me again. This time, I don’t fight it. I kiss him back like he’s the air I need to breathe. I moan into his mouth when he sucks on my bottom lip. I need to stop this, but I’m having trouble pushing him away. It’s been too long since I’ve had him. There’s a pounding on the door. “Hey, none of that funny business in my house! Donna, you’re supposed to be spending quality time with me, so get your ass out here right now.” God, I love this woman. There’s a reason we’re best friends. She’s always there for me, and she seems to be my sense of reason—even when I may not want her to be. I’d much rather jump into bed with Brian right this minute, but it isn’t the time or the place. I need to spend as much time with Shawna as I can. “We’re coming,” I reply. “Haha, I bet you were,” Shawna says with a laugh. “Fuck, she’s such a cock blocker,” Brian mumbles. I laugh until tears stream down my face because it’s so like Shawna to cock-block him. It reminds me of our days in college when she’d storm in on us in the dorm even though I asked her to stay away. “Brian, I heard that. I know you guys nicknamed me cock blocker in college, and I’m proud of the title. Now, get your asses out here. We’re going to have fun, eat dinner, and then send you lovebirds

on your way.” “I don’t know how I live without her next to me. I need to move closer to her or get her to move closer to me.” I look at Brian, who looks worried. I don’t want him to think I blame him for not seeing Shawna anymore. “Please don’t respond to that comment. Today is about fun, not our problems. Let’s go cause trouble.” I lean over and give him a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s been a long time since the three of us went out and caused trouble. We’re due, and we need to initiate Frank into our group and become the Fearsome Foursome. We’ll probably have to teach him how to be a troublemaker like we had to teach you.”



I’m starving after the amazing day we’ve had. I love that we got to spend the day with Shawna and Frank. I can’t wait for them to come up and visit. “So, Shawna, what was your favorite part of the day? As I’m sure you all know, mine was the Big Game Safari shooting game. I love that I can school you all,” I say, laughing. “Oh, mine was the parade.” “The parade, hands down,” Brian and Frank say at the same time. “It was the best. I can’t believe I actually made it onto Mickey’s float before they noticed and we had to bail. Or, more accurately, I had to jump off and hide in the crowd,” Shawna says while laughing loudly. Today was a blast. It was nice to be free of the stress of life, and to let go. It’s been a long time since I’ve had so much fun. “Shawna, not so loud. You’re going to get us kicked out of the restaurant,” I say, trying to be stern but failing miserably as I crumble into a fit of laughter. “Brian, how did you survive with these two? They are full of shit, and I’m shocked they’ve never been arrested for some of the stuff they’ve done.” “Oh, Frank, don’t let Brian fool you! He’s the mastermind of some of that crazy stuff. If you remember, he’s the one who suggested we get on the Mickey float,” Shawna says. Tuning out everyone else, I think about the best part of the day. The part that was better than beating everyone at shooting—the motorboat cruise. Brian and I made sure we didn’t have to share a boat. While it isn’t the best ride for excitement, it did give us time alone together to enjoy each other's company. We didn’t talk much because Brian had other plans in mind. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Imagine we’re in Paris, the most romantic city.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond to him before his mouth was on mine. I tuned the world out. It was only us. His tongue didn’t waste any time before pressing into my mouth. Our tongues dueled for control. I wanted more from him. I slowly worked my hand down his stomach, but he stopped me. I tried to pull away from the kiss, but he wouldn’t let me, continuing to kiss me like I was his everything. Finally, he kissed down my neck then back up to my ear and whispered, “This will be

continued tonight.” “Donna, what has your face all flushed?” Shawna asks. “Just thinking about today and the amazing time we all had.” “It was a great time. Now for some food and drinks to finish the night off,” Frank says. I love that Frank fits into our group. It’s been the three of us for so long that I was beginning to think we’d never get a fourth. I’m happy Shawna found a great man. By far, he’s the best boyfriend she’s ever had. I really hope these two can make it. “We have something to tell you, and I’m not sure if you’ll be happy about it,” Shawna says. “You already know we’re getting married, but you don’t know we’re moving to Wisconsin in a few weeks. Frank has an opportunity to work for a great law firm there. He hasn’t been able to find much here, and we don’t want him to wait around to find one. You know that I love Wisconsin. It would even be better if he could get me season tickets to the Green Bay Packers games.” Shawna said that last part with stars in her eyes, but I don’t feel happy for her. “What? You’re moving even farther away? I thought California was bad enough. Now, we’ll never get to see each other,” I mumble, knowing I’m being a bitch. I should be happy Frank has a great job opportunity and he wants to take care of Shawna. “Hey, it’s not going to be like that,” Shawna says. See, now, I’ve made her cry, but we should be celebrating her engagement. Did I say that I’m a bitch? I really need to stop thinking about only me and start thinking about others. “Donna, I know you don’t want us to move away, but what if there was a possibility you can move with Shawna?” Frank asks. I’m not sure why he’d ask, because I doubt it’s really a possibility. Brian said he may leave his dad’s firm, but I don’t know if he really will. “Frank, what are you saying?” I ask, not wanting to assume he's saying there's another opening for Brian. “Brian, I was going to tell you this later, but I figured it best to spit it out now. The firm that hired me is looking for another lawyer. I may be able to get them to look at you. It could be a great opportunity for both of us.” I look at Brian the whole time Frank is talking, hoping I can see what he’s thinking. His face is like stone though, so I can’t. I was hoping he’d be smiling and excited about the chance. “Frank, this is something I need to think about and talk with Donna about, but by the grin on her face, I’m guessing she thinks it's a great idea. Let's talk more about it later.” “No problem. Let me know soon,” Frank says. It’s hard to say goodbye tonight because I don’t want to leave Shawna, especially with the news of her moving so far away. But Brian promises we’ll see them again before they move. Once in the car, he wastes no time grabbing my hand. All day, he touched me every chance he got, even if it was only a brief kiss to the head. “Donna, I know it hasn’t been easy having Shawna move away and now hearing she’s moving even farther. I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I’d like to apply for a job at the same law firm as Frank. We need to talk about if my leaving my dad’s firm is what’s best for us in the long run. You’ll always come first. I need you to know that. We’re a team, so we need to make this decision together. Not to be closer to Shawna. We need to do what is best for us.” That would be so freaking awesome! I don’t say that out loud even though I really want to. What he’s saying about not making the decision to be closer to Shawna is true, but that doesn’t help the sad feeling that she’s moving away and his dad doesn’t want us together. I want Brian in my life, but I can’t be the reason he loses his parents. I never thought I’d be in this position. If Brian has to choose between his parents and me, I’d consider moving to Wisconsin without him because I won’t make him pick one of us. I’d constantly be worried that he’d end up resenting me.

“I know you’re talking about leaving your dad’s office, but it won’t be easy. Even if you do, it still doesn’t make it easy to accept my best friend being farther away from me. The last couple of months without her have been hard. She hasn’t been there to help me when our moms are being pushy about the wedding, to hold my hand when I’m crying because I can’t tell them no. I know I have you, but some things we need our girlfriends for.” Brian squeezes my hand, reassuring me he’s here for me. “I didn’t realize quite how bad our moms were. I don’t want you to deal with that alone. This is our wedding, not just yours, and it should be the way we want it, not our parents. I can start helping with some of the planning. They don’t tend to push me around the way they do you.” He brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He’s the sweetest man I know. He’d do anything for me. “Can we stay in town tonight? I need to get some things off my chest, but I don’t want to do it while we’re driving.” I pray that he says yes. “Sure. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind, but I already reserved a room at this bed and breakfast about thirty minutes away. I wanted to be somewhere cozy.” God, does this man think of everything? “That’ll be wonderful. Hopefully, we can get some relaxing in tonight and not only talk about life.” “I don’t plan on us talking all night. After you hear what I have to say and see what I want to show you, you’ll be pissed, but I need you to have an open mind and make your own opinions on what you’ll see. I want your honest thoughts.” I’m beginning to wonder if I can watch this video. Seeing and hearing the little I did in person was bad enough. I don’t want to see more, but I have to so I can know beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn’t my Brian in the office with Janice. Why couldn’t Brian tell me all of this before he had evidence? I know he said he wanted proof so I didn’t think he was making stuff up, but I want to be the person he goes to when he has problems. I must’ve dozed off, because the next thing I hear is, “Hun, we’re here. Let’s get settled in the room. We can talk, or you can go to bed. You must be exhausted.” Is he trying to get out of showing me the video? Why? I can’t go back to sleep now that we’re here. “No, we need to talk first. Hopefully, I’ll sleep in tomorrow.” I’m so exhausted that I’ll probably wish to be in bed for a week after we deal with his parents. “Let’s go, shall we?” Brian says, holding his hand out to me. I grab it, and he leads me into the most fabulous bed and breakfast I’ve ever seen. The first thing I notice is the cozy-looking fire in the lobby. It is straight out of movie, with the bear skin rug in front of it. The place has an old-school feel, beautiful, but not to the point where you feel you can’t touch anything or sit on the furniture. “Wow, it’s beautiful, Brian. Where did you find it?” “Frank told me about it. This is where he brought Shawna when he proposed to her. He said she loved it. Since you two are best friends and have similar tastes, I thought it’d be a good place for us to check out. I know you aren’t a huge fan of the fancy hotels.” “I feel so bad Shawna didn’t get to tell me all about her engagement right after it happened or even when she first saw me. I ruined her happy time.” I blink to fight back the tears threatening to escape. “Hey, don’t cry. She knows you needed her. She wanted to help you out and be there for you. Don’t worry. I made plans with Shawna and Frank. They’re going to come out and visit us so we can celebrate their engagement together. Frank already knows what I have to tell you, so he’ll tell Shawna tonight as well. I’m going to go check us in. Do you want to sit by the fire or come with me?” “Sit by the fire.” This is one thing I wish we had in our apartment. I love snuggling up by a fire with a good book.

I feel like I’ve just sat down by the time Brian’s back. “Here’s our room key. Why don’t you head up to the room and take a bath while I go get our bags out of the car then grab us something to drink.” “I’d rather talk first. Let’s get it done and over with so we can see what’s going to happen with us. I don’t know how to feel about everything that happened two days ago and then everything you dropped on me last night.” I shouldn’t be so worried, but I don’t want to watch the video. What happens if it really is him and he’s playing a sick joke on me? No, he wouldn’t do something like that. I head up to the second floor and walk into our room. There’s only a king-size bed, but I’m sure, if I asked him to, he’d sleep on the couch. He’s that kind of guy. I let out a deep breath. My stomach is in knots worrying about what’s going to happen. All we’ve been doing is delaying the inevitable, and now. We need to get it over with. I better use the bathroom before he gets back to the room so we can get right to the topic at hand. Who really was in his office on Thursday at lunchtime? I walk into the bathroom and almost regret saying no to a bath. There’s a Jacuzzi tub big enough to fit four people. I’m definitely going to take advantage of that before we leave, and maybe Brian will join me if we can work our issues out. I have so many ideas of how those jets can be of very naughty use. One can only hope. Thoughts of sharing a bath with Brian and relieving the stress of the last few days sends my mind into a fantasy. I’m here all alone, wishing Brian were with me. Thinking how much fun this tub can be has me horny and in need of some relief. Maybe I can take care of myself while he’s gone and then have him later when he gets back to the room. Slowly, I run my hand up my abdomen to my breasts. I caress them, flicking my nipples before I switch between pinching and pulling them. An electric current shoots down to my pussy. I need more though. Slowly, I run one of my hands down my abdomen and circle my clit. “Uh, god, that feels so good,” I breathe. I need more and decide to see what these jets can do for me. I slide down until I’m in centered before one of the jets and let the steady pressure hit my clit. Fuck, this won’t take long. I pull on my nipple even harder while inserting two fingers into my pussy. I grind against my hand while the jet massages my clit. “Brian!” I scream out my release. “That was so fucking hot. I may need to join you now.” Brian’s words jolt me out of my post-orgasmic haze. “Oh shit. I didn’t realize you were here. I needed relief, and I didn’t know when you’d be home.” “Shhh. You don’t need to explain yourself. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. But, now, I need you.” “Please. I want you,” I say, needing more. Getting myself off is never as satisfying as the relief he gives me. “Hey, Donna? Where are you?” Brian calls out as he walks into the room. I hope he doesn’t think I left. Shit, that was a fucking hot daydream, and he had to interrupt me right before the good part. “In the bathroom. I’ll be right out.” I finish washing up and head out to the living room, feeling very unsatisfied. Again.

 

My heart broke from the expression on Donna’s face when I explained my father ’s betrayal. I didn’t want to upset her, but she needed to know that it wasn’t me in my office yesterday. And that I love her. I really didn’t want her to watch the video. I could barely stomach it and had to turn it off. I ended up pausing it on their faces so she knew it wasn’t me. She was okay with not having to watch any video and relive it again. The still shot was enough for her. I still don’t know what my dad had to gain or if he was just getting his rocks off with Janice one time, but I have a feeling it’s more than a one-time thing. I can’t predict how he’ll react when I tell him I’m leaving, but I have to get away. Because of my talk with Frank, I’m hoping I can get a job with him, and then we’ll eventually open our own law office. After showing Donna the video I couldn’t sleep with worry over how she was really feeling, so it’s been one long night for me. I didn’t sleep much. I kept thinking about what was going to happen when we got to my parents’ house, and then I couldn’t stop looking at Donna. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have her, but I’m going to do whatever I can to keep her. She deserves all of me, and I need to start showing her that work isn’t everything. Since I couldn’t sleep well, I decided I needed to call Bill. I’m not sure if he knows anything yet, but he should have a heads-up. I figure knowing more about what is happening at the office is probably a good thing before I go in with guns blazing to my parents’ house. I hope to get a lot of information from Bill. Information I probably don’t want to know, but it may seal my fate in where I lie with the firm. “Hello. Bill speaking.” “Hello, Bill. It’s Brian. I’m sorry to bother you so early. Do you have a minute to talk?” “Yes, is everything all right? Did something happen to Donna?” “No, Donna is fine. But everything isn’t all right. That’s why I’m calling you.” “Okay. What’s the problem?” How do I say this? Being blunt is the only way I can do this.

“So, over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been noticing Janice sneaking around with files and then locking them up. Since she’s my secretary, that shouldn’t be happening. I have a feeling they pertain to my dad. I found him and Janice screwing in my office. I’m not sure why or what they had to gain. Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Please let him know something. I know there’s something else going on. “Yes, I have a feeling I know what you’re talking about. It looks as if we need to talk. I tried to keep it from you, which obviously didn’t work. I didn’t want to bring you into your father's issues.” Shit, I knew this couldn’t be good. But, as Bill continues to tell me everything he knows, I shouldn’t be shocked my dad would do something like this. It sickens me, and I can’t wait to get to his house now. “Thank you, for telling me everything. I can’t believe he’d do this to you though. Donna and I will be over in the next couple of days.” “Good luck, Brian. See you in a couple days.” I need to let out some steam, so I decide to take a walk before waking Donna. But I don’t stay gone long because I want to get this taken care of. “Hey, baby. Wake up.” It’s still early, but I want to get on the road so we can deal with this crap and move on. She barely budges. She’s one of the hardest people to wake up. She is not a morning person. Though, if I had freshly brewed coffee, she’d be all over it. “Love, you need to wake up,” I say as I kiss her neck. Hopefully, she doesn’t mind what I have planned next, but I need her. I want her. I need to show her that she’s my world and the only woman I want. She hasn’t budged yet. Perfect. I slowly kiss a trail down her neck to her chest. I don’t want her fully awake yet, so I leave her succulent nipples for later. While tracing my tongue around her navel, I feel her body respond to me. She’s not fully awake, but she’s getting there. I need to get her panties off before she wakes. I want to wake her with my face buried between her thighs. As I slowly slide her panties off, trailing kisses as I go. Once I have them off, I kiss my way back up lingering on her thighs. She’s waking up and squirming. “Please don’t stop,” she begs. I kiss up her thigh until I reach her pussy. I circle my tongue around her clit, and she pushes herself against my face. “You want more?” I ask. “Tell me what you want.” “You. Inside. Me.” She’s panting. “Oh, don’t you worry. I’ll get there.” I suck her clit while I pump my fingers into her. I won’t take her until she comes. I can’t take my pleasure until she’s had hers. “I can feel how close you are. Your pussy is squeezing my fingers.” “Yes,” she moans. “Feels so good.” Curling my fingers upward and pressing while sucking hard on her clit has her coming up off the bed, screaming my name. “Brian!” “Now, that’s how every morning should begin,” I say as I slide up her body. Then I begin kissing her. Breaking the kiss, she says, “Yes, but we aren’t done yet. I still need you inside me.” “Your wish is my command,” I say, sliding into her in one quick, fluid thrust. It doesn’t take long for me to find my release, but she’s right there with me. “Let’s shower now and then get on the road,” I say, getting out of bed. “Okay. I’ll meet you there. Get the water nice and hot first.”

I’m certain she’ll fall back to sleep, but that’s okay. She needs her rest after the stressful couple of days she’s had. After getting dressed, I lie on the bed, kiss her neck again, and then whisper, “Time to wake up.” Knowing this isn’t going to work, I tickle her neck with my whiskers. She hates being tickled, but I need her up. “Ugh, stop. I’m awake. Five more minutes please,” she mumbles. “No. Your five minutes already turned into half an hour, and I really want to get home and face my dad.” “Fine. I’m moving. Give me a few moments to clean up and pack my clothes.” She doesn’t take nearly as long as I feared. She wants to get home and figure everything out too. I wonder if she still wants to elope. She doesn’t want to plan a wedding that isn’t really hers, and it seems that’s exactly what she’s been doing. “How serious are you about running off to get married?” “I’m serious. I don’t want the hassle of planning a wedding—especially with our mothers. They’re a pain in my ass and don’t let me have much of a say in anything. At this point, I would rather save the money and have a longer honeymoon.” God, I love how she thinks. I’d love a longer vacation, but don’t most girls dream of their wedding day? “I don’t want you to regret not having a dream wedding. I want to make sure it’s what you want and not something you feel you’re being forced into. Why don’t we go deal with my dad, and then we can talk more about it? I want you to be happy and have what you want.” “I don’t care how long you make me wait,” she says. “It’ll still be the same answer. I’m perfectly fine with eloping. We can bring Shawna and Frank with us and then head out for our honeymoon.” I’m so happy she wants to elope. That means we can get married sooner than next August. I can make her my wife next week if we want. But, right now, I need to plan the talk with my father. It’s going to kill my mom to find out my dad hasn’t stopped his wandering ways, but he needs to stop meddling in my life. I have a feeling my mom will blame me for this, but I have to get her to see he isn’t perfect. I can’t let him ruin my life.



The ride home is full of promise. We talk about heading to Vegas and getting married right away. We hope Shawna and Frank will join us. Since Brian has paid for our honeymoon we’ll move it up if they’ll let us get the tickets for an earlier date, but that shouldn’t be a problem. If not, then we’ll go somewhere else and take our honeymoon trip as an early anniversary vacation. Brian’s been stressed so much lately; it’ll be nice for us both to not worry over everything. I won’t have to deal with my mom and soon-to-be mother-in-law anymore. I wouldn’t care if we went to the justice of the peace, but flying to Vegas will be a lot more fun. I want to get married. I hope Brian believes me when I tell him I don’t need anything fancy. I just need my man by my side. The only hesitation I have is my dad. I’ve always wanted him to walk me down the aisle, but even my mom has ideas about that. “What will you do if your parents disown you? I know family means everything to you,” I ask. “I hope it doesn’t come to that, but if they do, then that’s their choice. You’re my family now, and I want to be there for you. I can’t allow people to come between us. My father ’s behavior is despicable. If I let him get away with this, what’ll he do next?” “Okay. I don’t want you to regret losing your parents and then resent me for it later. I really hope it doesn’t come to that, but if it does, I want you to know I’m here for you, and I’ll always love you. Plus, Shawna and Frank are our family too.” “Here goes nothing,” Brian mutters as we pull into his parents’ driveway. “I love you," I whisper. Then I lean over and give him a kiss. “Love you too.” Please let everything go well in there. Don’t let Brian have to choose between his family and me. I don’t want him to ever regret his decision.



I really don’t want to do this, but I need to know why my dad’s trying to cause problems between Donna and me. He’s always played by his rules, not caring who he hurts in the process. He needs to know there are finally going to be consequences for his behavior “Oh, hey, Brian and Donna. What’re you guys doing here?” my mom asks when she answers the door. “Hey, Mom. Is Dad around?” I say, not answering her question. “Yes. He’s in his study. Would you like to go in there and talk to him, or would you like me to get him?” “Please go get him. You both need to hear what I have to say.” I hate being so rude to her, but I need to get this done and over with. “Is everything all right?” she asks, her gaze darting between Donna and me. “No, but it will be as soon as I talk to Dad.” As my mom turns to leave, Donna leans into me and says, “I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to be so rude to your mom.” “I know I was a dick, but I want to get this over with.” As my mom walks away, all I can think is that I’m about to shatter her world. She knows that my dad cheated before, but she thought he stopped, so I hope this doesn’t kill her. I have a feeling she’ll blame me for the fallout between us all. “Hello, son. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?” he asks, giving me a slap on the back. “Well, Donna and I wanted to talk to you about what was happening in my office on Thursday around lunchtime,” I say without any preamble. “What are you talking about? Why would I know anything about what was going on in your office?” he replies. Okay, so he’s going to play dumb—exactly as I thought he would. “Someone named Brian was in my office, and I’m trying to figure out why. Any ideas, Dad?

“Son, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Quit beating around the bush and come out with what you have to say.” “Fine. Let’s go into the theater room. I have a video I’d love to show you all.” I grab Donna’s hand and lead her toward the room, hoping he’ll admit to what he was doing so I don’t have to play this video in front of my mom. “Are you sure this is the best way to go about this?” Donna whispers in my ear. “Yes. There’s no other way. Dad will keep trying to play dumb, and I don’t have the patience to deal with that right now.” “Son, what do you so adamantly want to show us?” my mom asks. “Oh, you’ll see, but you may want to prepare yourself, Mom. I only made it through about three seconds when I watched it.” She’s going to be heartbroken when she sees this, and I have a feeling Dad will be livid that I dared show this in front of her. That’s on him though. “What are you up to, Brian?” my mom asks with a shaky voice. “Probably doing the worst thing I can, but I can’t stop now. I have to start living my life. Mom, I want you to know I love you, and I hate to do this, but I need to know why Dad is messing with my life. Unfortunately, it seems he doesn’t want to confess to anything, so I’m hoping, after he sees this, he’ll answer one question. Why?” I turn and hit play, not looking at the screen, as I already know the awful sight in front of their eyes. “What. The. Fuck!” my dad yells. “Turn this off now!” His face is bright red. “No! Brian, you promised me you were done with your whores!” my mother screams. Watching my mom drop to her knees and sob while her eyes are transfixed on the TV, unable to turn away from the image that’s breaking her, kills me. I wish I didn’t have to hurt her, but she needs to see what my father is doing. What an ass he is. He will never change and that makes me feel sorry for my mom. “Holy shit,” Donna says. She’s seeing more of the video than I showed her the first time. Tears are streaming down her face, and I want to go to her, but I need answers first. They’re all talking at the same time. I don’t believe that anyone thought it’d be this bad, but I knew it was, and it should get me some answers. “Turn this shit off right now!” my dad hollers again. I hit stop then turn to look into my father ’s face. I’m still afraid to look at my mother. “Why, Dad? We all know it was you in my office with Janice on Thursday, but why did you want Donna to think it was me? I thought you wanted us to get married, that it was best for both families?” I’m beginning to think he won’t answer, but then he looks me in the face and says, “Oh, I wanted you guys to get married before her mom happened.” “What the fuck are you talking about?” What does Jolene have to do with all of this? “Donna needs to go because she’s nothing more than a stupid cunt, just like her mother. Her mother came on to me a couple of months ago at a charity event and then ran home and told Bill I came on to her. I told Bill it’s been happening for years. I won’t let Jolene’s lies ruin me. She’s the one who came on to me and got pissed when I told her I couldn’t do that to Bill.” I don’t know that I believe that. I can’t picture Jolene ever cheating, let alone with my asshole of a father. There has to be more. Before I can ask anything, he continues spewing. “In reality, I denied her and she didn’t like that. Jolene’s nothing but a slut who wants to ruin my life. Like mother, like daughter. It’ll only be a matter of time before Donna does the same thing. I was trying to save you the hassle of dealing with her stupid ass later on down the road. I was doing you a favor, son. Plus, if you don’t get married, then she can’t take the company back once I steal it out from under her dad’s nose.”

What. The. Fuck is he talking about? Taking the business away from Bill? How can he even do that? His reply is infuriating. Punching him would definitely get that smug look off his face, but I need to get to the bottom of this and let him know I have the upper hand here. “Are you sure that’s all? It has nothing to do with the files I saw Janice hiding?” “What are you talking about? I told you it has to do with Jolene wanting to ruin mine and Bill’s friendship. She wants me gone from the company. She’s spiteful because I turned her down.” “Bull-fucking-shit!” How can he continue to lie to me when I know that’s not the reason? “I saw what was in that file, and that’s more likely the cause. You think, by hurting Donna, that Jolene will forget about that case and tend to her daughter ’s broken heart? Have you even thought this through? You’re supposed to be some smart lawyer, but all you’ve done is fuck everything up. I now have the proof Jolene needs to have you charged with all of those sexual harassment cases. I also can tell you that, by hurting Donna, it would have only fuel the fire for Jolene to come after you.” “Don’t take that tone with me, and don’t be spewing shit that isn’t true. Think about what these lies are doing to your mother.” He’s said the one thing that may stop me from doing what I need to do, but I can’t let him put his crimes on me. He is responsible for doing this to my mom, not me. “What I’m doing to Mom? I’m not the one who can’t keep it in my pants. I’m not the one who is being sued by multiple women for sexual harassment. You’re the one who is breaking Mom’s heart.” I may have played that video when I shouldn’t have, but I’m not the one who has treated her like she means nothing. “And I believe you did come on to Jolene, and now, you’re trying to make us believe you’re innocent. I know you’ve slept with a lot of your secretaries and you’ve come on to even more of the females in the office. You’ve always thought you were God’s gift to women, and you don’t take rejection lightly. You’re an arrogant ass who needs to be taken down a notch or two.” I don’t want my dad to go to prison, but he needs to pay the price for what he’s done. He’s more pissed about losing the office than he is about losing my mom or me. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. There aren’t sexual harassment charges against me.” “You can keep playing it that way if you want. I don’t care. I’m so done with you and your lies. You’ll get what you have coming to you, and it’ll be sooner rather than later. I’ll help Jolene and Bill with whatever they need.” “Well, I see I’m going to have to pull out the big guns to keep you in check.” I want to walk away, but those words out of his mouth stop me in my tracks. Please don’t let him say what I think he’s going to say. It isn’t true, but in a way, part of it is. I don’t want to hurt Donna, but if this comes out, I know it will. “No, what you need to do is admit to your faults and let me live my life the way I want to live it. Let me be with who I want and stay out of my business. Also, you need to man the fuck up and take care of all of these claims.” “I’ll never stay out of your business. I don’t want you around Donna and her family anymore. They’re trying to steal the company away from me. If you marry her, she’ll get your portion. I won’t let them take what is rightfully mine. Son, one day, you’ll thank me for this.” With a smug look on his face, he turns to Donna and says, “By the way, ask my son where he really was on his eighteenth birthday when he was supposed to be with you but cancelled.” I don’t want to look at Donna and see any pain. I have to remain strong until we have time to talk about this later. I won’t have that talk in front of my parents. “Well, you don’t have to worry about losing the business to them because I quit! I don’t want anything to do with you or the business if you’re involved. As far as I’m concerned, you can sell it when you retire. I don’t want anything from you. That’s if Bill doesn’t take it from you, which I hope he does.”

I’m fuming mad right now. He has no right to be doing this. He’s not only hurting himself, but everyone around him. He’s willing to risk Bill’s part in the company. Bill is like a dad to me. I grew up being in their house a lot in the summer. “How can you be so callous? You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You don’t care that you’re destroying Bill and Jolene. With Bill being part owner, he could lose everything too. His only saving grace is that you’re named the sole perpetrator on all the sexual harassment cases. He was pissed when Jolene brought them to his attention. What were you going to do? Try paying off the women? It’s a good thing Jolene found out about them when she was helping Janice catch up on her workload. On top of all of that shit, you’ve never cared for Mom the way you should. You continue to sleep around when, really, you should come home and be with her. She doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. I don’t know why she stays with you and puts up with this shit. Now, you’re trying to ruin my life with Donna. I don’t know how I can ever forgive you for this.” “That’s fine, but if you walk out that door, you’ll no longer be our son, and you’ll no longer be welcome in this house,” my father says with an evil laugh. He thinks he’s won. He doesn’t believe I’ll walk away from it all, but he’s wrong. I’ll never walk away from Donna, but I sure as hell will walk away from him and from the business. My mom starts crying. “Son, don’t leave yet. I will not let your father make the decision for me. He is not in control of me anymore.” Then she turns to my father and says in a voice I’ve never heard her use on him, “Get the hell out of this house. You’re no longer welcome here. I don’t care where you go. If you don’t want to leave quietly, I will gladly call the police and have you escorted off the property.” I’m so proud that she’s finally standing up for herself. She has always let Dad make the decisions for her. “You can’t kick me out of my house. I pay all the bills here. No cop is going to make me leave my own house. If you want me to leave so fucking bad, then you should take your own advice and walk the fuck out of the door. I don’t need your lazy ass around anyways. I’d be better off without you. Then I wouldn’t have to waste so much money on hotel rooms.” I don’t even have a chance to defend my mom because she walks up to him and slaps him. “I don’t know how I stayed with you and put up with you for so long. I thought I was doing Brian a favor by letting him have his father around. I can now see that that was the biggest mistake I could’ve made. I can only be thankful he had Bill to look up to and didn’t turn out a sleezeball like you.” “You stayed with me because you were a money-hungry whore who didn’t want to have to work for herself. You’re a lazy bitch. You couldn’t have provided for yourself and Brian.” I can’t believe he’s talking to her this way. I’ve never heard him speak this way before. Yes, he cheats, but he’s never been this nasty. Without any warning, Mom grabs the phone. “Brian, we’ll fight over the house in the divorce, but I’m asking you to take your lying, cheating ass out of my house now. I won’t hesitate to call the police. You have one minute to turn and walk out that door.” “Mom, I can’t stay and watch that man treat you this way any longer. Just call the police and let them come deal with his sorry ass. He’s not going to leave willingly.” “You’re all a bunch of worthless pieces of shit. You’ll get what’s coming to you. I’ll make sure you end up living on the street, Marianne. Brian, you’ll lose all of your trust fund. You’ll both end up with nothing. Don’t think this is the last you’ll hear from me.” He grabs his bag and walks out the door. “You’ll get your comeuppance, and hopefully that’s a jail sentence for being a creep and thinking you’re above the law,” my mom whispers to his back. I don’t think she intended for anyone to hear her. I sigh in relief. I really thought my mom would have to involve the cops to get him to leave.

“Mom, are you all right?” That’s a stupid question to ask right now. “I will be. I have a lot to take care of tonight before your dad ends up stealing all of our money.” “I’m sure my dad will help you, Marianne,” Donna says. “He won’t hold what Brian Sr. has been doing against you.” “That’s who I was planning on asking for help,” she whispers. “Would you like us to stay with you tonight? I don’t want you to be alone if you need someone.” I don’t know what else to do for her. She looks like her world is shattered and nothing can be fixed. I hope she’ll finally get the peace she needs. It’s been a long time coming. “No. I’m going to call Bill and see what he suggests I do. Then I’m going to head to bed. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day with getting the bank accounts frozen so he can’t take all the money. Plus, I need to finally file for divorce. I also want to see what Jolene needs me to do about the sexual harassment cases. I don’t know if he’d keep anything in his home office or if I could even hand that stuff over or not. But that’s not something I want to deal with now. Why don’t you and Donna head home, and I’ll be in touch with you guys tomorrow.” “Okay,” I say as I walk over and hug her. “Please don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything tonight. I’ll be here for you whenever you need.” We haven’t had the best of relationships, but that’s because I couldn’t handle watching her let my dad walk all over her. I’m hoping we can finally have a stress-free relationship. “Goodnight, Marianne. I’m sorry about all the pain you had to go through tonight. Let me know if I can do anything for you. I love you,” Donna says as she hugs my mom goodbye. “Goodbye, sweet girl. Please don’t go too hard on Brian tonight. He didn’t have a choice on his birthday. His dad threatened him if he went out with you. Give him a chance to explain.” Mom kisses her on the cheek. “Love you too, beautiful,” she says and walks us to the door. “Brian, are you all right?” Donna asks as we get back to the car. That was not the first question I was expecting her to ask. Which only means one thing: I am so fucked. “As good as I can be. I was prepared for the worst, but you can never prepare for how it feels to be the one to tear your mom’s heart out. I’m hoping, with time, she’ll get stronger and we can have a healthier relationship, but for now, I have you, I hope, and that’s all I need.” Donna, Frank, and Shawna are family enough for me. And, one day, we’ll have kids and they’ll build our family. I know that my mom will eventually find happiness. She’s going to need time to heal and learn who she is as a woman.



W hy I didn’t ask him the question burning in my mind, I’ll never know. I’m not sure I want to know what his dad was talking about, but I need to know. Marianne told me to give Brian the benefit of the doubt, so I will. I really don’t think it’s as bad as I’m imagining. I’m sure it was a ploy by Brian Sr. to deflect attention from himself and onto his son. I might as well get it over with so I know what we’re dealing with. “Brian, I know you’re hurting, but I need to know what your dad was talking about. I can’t sit here and wonder any longer. It’s killing me, thinking of all of these things that could’ve happened. I know you said you never cheated, but that’s all that’s running through my head right now.” He wouldn’t. Please, please, please don’t let that be the case. “Donna, you have to know I was young and I wanted my dad to be proud of me. Plus, I didn’t want to lose my car. Then I wouldn’t have been able to see you all the time. He wanted to make me a real man. He knew I was waiting for you to get home so we could spend the evening together. He knew I wanted to be with you and only you. He said, for me to be able to please you, I had to have experience. I didn’t want experience—I wanted you. The night of my eighteenth birthday, he and some of his friends hired strippers to come to a hotel. They were going to enjoy them while one of them took me back to a room and showed me how to pleasure a woman, and . . .” Why is he stopping? He told me he hasn’t cheated on me. We were definitely together when he turned eighteen—the next night was our first night together. “Please no. No. No. No. You didn’t. How could you do this to me? To us?” I can’t help but break down. He’s a liar just like his father. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. “No, I didn’t sleep with her. I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to. She tried to get me interested, but all I could see was you and the pain it would cause you to know that I was with another girl. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to you. So I finally got the stripper to dress. We ended up talking all night. She respected me for turning her down. She said no man, even married, had ever turned her down. I should have told you the truth about that night, but I was embarrassed for the longest time. But I don’t

have anything to be ashamed of. I didn’t cheat. I was an eighteen-year-old looking for his dad’s approval.” “I don’t know why this is happening to me. I feel like the universe is trying to pull us apart. If nothing happened, why does your dad think something did?” “I told her I couldn’t leave the room without making my dad believe I slept with her. If I didn’t, he would only find me someone new. She knew I wasn’t interested, so we made it sound like we had sex. We came out and she only paid attention to me. Dad ate it up and didn’t question it.” “Wow. I’m not usually speechless, but I don’t even know what to say about your dad doing this. He really is a piece of work.” “Yeah, well, we don’t have to worry about him anymore. I doubt he’s ever going to change. I’m hoping my mom is going to stick with her decisions and follow through with the divorce. She’s been following my dad around for almost forty years. I imagine it’s scary for her to picture herself alone.” “I bet it’s scary, and change is hard on anyone. She hasn’t known anything else but life with your dad. I can’t even imagine the pain she’s going through right now. Hopefully, she won’t take him back. She’ll be better off in the long run.” “I hope so. I don’t want to live without my parents in my life, but I will if I have to. If she goes back to him, I won’t be able to have her in my life, either. He would find a way to try and control me again, and I won’t go back to that. I want you, and you’ll always be my number one. You mean everything to me.” “You mean everything to me also.” These last few days have been filled with so much drama, but I’m ready for it to end. I’m ready to start my life with Brian. Now, I need to get my parents on board. “Brian, we need to tell my parents we’re going to elope.” “Ummm…I don’t know if I can handle any more drama right now. Do you think they’d hate us if we went to Vegas and told them when we got back? You know, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.” “That’s a great idea. Too bad I didn’t think of it. Let’s head home and call Shawna and Frank and see if they can meet us there. We can have some fun while we’re there.” When I call Shawna, she is excited I am finally putting my needs ahead of “The Moms.” She says that I deserved to have my happily ever after the way I want it to happen. We can’t wait to meet up in Vegas. The sad thing is Shawna and Frank can’t go until Friday, but that is fine because it gives Brian a little time to help his mom out and get his life situated now that he isn’t sure if he still has a job.



Monday comes all too soon and I’m not ready to leave Donna in bed alone. But the sooner I get up and deal with everything, the faster I can get home and be with her again. I’m hoping to have everything taken care of by Wednesday so we can leave for Vegas a couple of days ahead of Shawna and Frank. I want some quality time alone with my girl. We need it after the last few days we’ve had. First thing upon arriving at the office, I go to Bill’s office. Jolene is already there working away. “Hey, Jolene. Is Bill in the office?” “Oh my goodness, Brian. Your mother called us last night and informed us she kicked your dad out. Bill and I are sorry about how things went down. How are you holding up? “I’m doing well, all things considered. I have a lot of questions about things I’ve found. Mainly a case you are putting together against my dad.” It’s a statement more than a question. “Bill and I will talk with you about all of that later. Right now, he’s on a call, but he should be available in the next five or ten minutes, and he requested to see you first thing.” “Thanks,” I say as I have a seat. Lost in thought about what I’m going to do without a job, I pray that my dad can’t freeze my trust fund. I don’t think he can because it came from my mom’s side of the family. I don’t want to use it, but if I don’t have a job, I’ll need to. “Brian? Hey, Brian, you can head on back now,” Jolene says. “Thanks. Sorry you had to tell me more than once. I was lost in thought.” “No worries. It’s been a long weekend for you with everything that went down with your parents.” “Hey, son, how are you doing?” Bill says when I walk into his office. “I’m so glad you decided to come in and talk with me. I wasn’t going to let you up and quit. You’ll always have a job here.” I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t that warm welcome and show of support. I’ll take it though. “That’s what I came to talk about. I don’t want to leave the office, but I can’t work with my dad anymore. I can’t handle seeing the way he treats people.” “Well, for now, we can’t take over his portion of the company, but I can have you work for me. I can even let you do a lot from home so you won’t have to see him. You’ll have to come to the office for any appointments with your clients though, but research and case prep can all be done at home.”

“That sounds like something I can handle. Though I’d like to work in the office. I can’t let him intimidate me. I need him to know he can’t walk all over people and get away with it.” Now, I need to ask the big question. “What is going on with these sexual harassment cases filed against my dad? What is going to happen?” “He has five women all claiming he sexually harassed them. The first suit was filed a couple of months ago, and the others have trickled in since then. I’m not going to represent him. I’m actually planning on helping the DA. Your father and I been friends for years, but the way he treats women is sick and he needs to learn that he can’t do that. The thing is, we can settle out of court, but then there wouldn’t be any punishment for your dad.” I don’t want him to think I’ll be pissed if he chooses to settle out of court, but before I can tell him as much, he continues. “We’re going to have to build the business up from the beginning after all the bad publicity we’ll get when this goes to trial. Are you going to be willing to help me build it back up?” “I agree. I want to see him taken down a notch and be held accountable for his actions, and I’ll help you do anything I can to build our name back up. I also know a great guy who would be willing to help us out if you need it.” I’m hoping I can get Frank to come here instead of going to Wisconsin. “Let’s play it by ear, but I’m thinking having an extra hand would be great. I’m actually hoping that, by our working with the DA, it’ll show people that we don’t care who you are—we aren’t going to allow anyone special privileges, and no one is above the law.” I get up to leave and then realize we need to talk about Janice. “What are we going to do about Janice? We don’t want her to file a lawsuit against us, but I don’t know that we can keep her on, either. She was a willing participant by the tape, but we don’t know for sure if he threatened her job. We don’t need a wrongful termination lawsuit on top of the others.” “You’re right. I’m guessing you don’t want her to be your secretary, and I can’t say I blame you. We can fire her for not doing her job correctly, but let me think on some of this and then we’ll talk more later in the week. So, for now, why don’t you continue working on the cases you already have. Just head on over to the empty office next to Jolene. That way, you don’t have to be close to your dad. There will be hell to pay when he arrives, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to fire you, but he can’t.” “Thanks, Bill. I’ll talk to you later.” Walking out of his office makes me jittery. The last thing I want to do is run into my father and have him cause a big scene. I don’t want to have to face Janice, either. When I arrive at my office to pick my files up, I’m shocked Janice isn’t in already. I wonder if Dad warned her that I knew about them. I’m glad she isn’t here, and with any luck, she won’t show her face here again. Hoping she wouldn’t show her face isn’t enough though. We mail her her final check and the few personal belongings she had. Along with her termination papers. I want this to all be over with. I can’t wait to make Donna mine. Plus, I’m really hoping Frank takes me up on my job offer. Shawna and Donna would both be ecstatic to be living near each other again. I’m hoping that keeping this all a secret from Donna won’t backfire. We talked about my applying with Frank in Wisconsin, but not my staying here and helping Bill. I’m hoping Frank agrees. The girls will be happier here, I won’t have to find a new place to work, and Bill will get along great with Frank.



Five long, torturous—because we had to wait for Shawna and Frank to arrive in Vegas—days after we left Brian’s parents’ house, we got married. We had a double wedding with Shawna and Frank. Shawna and I had always dreamed of that, but we had begun to believe that it wouldn’t happen. None of us wanted to wait; we all were ready to start our lives. Vegas was a great way for Frank and me to get to know each other better. Well, when Brian and I weren’t holed up in the room. As a wedding gift to both Shawna and me, the guys announced that Brian was staying on at the law firm in Portland and Frank would be coming on to work with him. I was excited I didn’t have to move to Wisconsin and happy Shawna was coming home. I wanted to be upset Brian didn’t tell me right away, but I was so happy Shawna and I would finally be living close to each other again that I couldn’t. Before we headed to Portland to begin our lives as married couples, we went separate ways for our honeymoons. They went to Hawaii, and we took off to Cozumel. I was excited to spend two weeks with Brian where no one could interrupt our time. Our time together is something I’ll always value. We needed that vacation, because once we were home, we’d be going nonstop. I’d be house and job hunting, and Brian would be deep into work, helping rebuild the practice. The honeymoon was fantastic, and I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation. Snorkeling was one of the most memorable times. There were endless coral reefs and crystal-clear, warm water. I was scared I wouldn’t enjoy it because I was having trouble breathing through the snorkel, but once I got the hang of it, I had no problem. And then I didn’t want to get out of the water. Needless to say, we went out a couple more times so I could enjoy the beautiful fish. We did zip-lining, parasailing and a lot of swimming—well, Brian did a lot of swimming while I lay on the beach and read. It was a blast, but I was excited to go home so we could finally live our lives. After three long months of looking at houses, putting in offers, and being disappointed when we were outbid, Shawna called and said the realtor had two houses next door to each other for sale. If we wanted them, we needed to go see them as soon as we could and make an offer fast because they wouldn’t be on the market long. We met Shawna and Frank that evening to look at them both, and I prayed that they’d work for us because being next-door neighbors would be a dream come true for

Shawna and me. We all had different things we wanted in our houses, so it was going to be tricky to find something we wouldn’t have to build. The main thing the guys wanted was a garage so they’d have a place to tinker with their toys and drink beer—a man cave. I preferred a single-story house, but Brian liked two stories. We all hoped to have at least four bedrooms so we could be in the houses long term. We needed bedrooms for the kids, and I’d have loved to have a library-slash-reading room. The houses ended up being identical in layout and perfect. The five bedrooms seemed like a lot, but I hoped to one day fill every room. Brian could have his home office, and I could have my reading room. We were all excited about the houses—and that we hopefully wouldn’t be living in our small apartments any longer. Two days later, our offers were accepted and we were in our houses by the end of the next month. Things were going as we planned. I was married to the man of my dreams, had a house door next to my best friend, and would soon start my job as a nurse. Shawna had her nursing degree too, and after she passed the state test to practice, we were both lucky enough to get jobs at Oregon Health and Science University, working in labor and delivery. The only bad thing was it was the night shift. So time with Brian was limited, but we made it work. Brian said I didn’t have to work, but I figured I might as well until we had kids. I couldn’t wait until we had kids so we could hang out at home with the babies. But, until they come along, who wants to sit at home and do nothing? Not me! Even though I’d probably still work part-time after we had kids because I love being a nurse and there really isn’t anything more joyous than bringing a baby into this world. After the guilty verdict and the jail sentencing of Brian’s dad, Brian and Frank worked with my dad to repair all the damage. You lose a lot of credibility when your name is tromped through the mud. The good thing is Brian Sr. no longer owned any part of the company. It was all Dad and Brian’s. Though Frank was a huge part of it, and one day, he’d be part owner alongside Brian. Rebuilding the law firm took a lot of time and work, but with Dad, Frank, and Brian all working hard, clients were recommending them to others within a year. They became so busy that they ended up having to hire help. I couldn’t have been prouder of Brian for making his dream come true. During the year the guys were working so hard on rebuilding the practice, Shawna and I spent a lot of time working. It was nice to actually have a job because it made the days pass faster and I wasn’t sitting around waiting and missing Brian. Now, Shawna and I are planning for kids. The guys want to wait, but Shawna and I are ready to start. I couldn’t be any readier. Hopefully, I don’t have to wait much longer to finally become pregnant. It’s funny how life has a way of working itself out for the better. Life’s not always easy, and every relationship takes effort. But, as long as you’re both willing to work for what you want, there’s no reason you can’t have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. But love is ultimately what allows a relationship survive. Each day, continue to fall more in love with your partner. Never let yourself get too comfortable, and show each other in small ways that you still appreciate each other. Then your love will never burn out, and you’ll always know how it feels to be treasured.

If you’re wondering why this novella was set in 1985, it’s because I have full-length novels coming out featuring each of the kids!

About Heather Heather was born and raised in the Pacific NW. If she could live on the beach, she would. It's one of her favorite places to go. She's a wife and mother of three children. They keep her busy with all of their activities. She loves spending time with her family, reading, hanging out with friends, and taking her kids on adventures. The zoo is one of their favorite places to go. She didn't become a book lover until her twenties. She's happy that she found the book world. It has been a great way to release stress. Also a way to fill her nights of insomnia. She loves to chat with fellow book lovers. You can connect with her via e-mail [email protected] Facebook: www.facebook.com/hcarverauthor Goodreads: http://bit.ly/2aRXZUK Amazon: http://amzn.to/2bxrY4B

Acknowledgments

There are a lot of people who have helped me in creating this book and giving me the encouragement to write. First, I want to take the time to thank my husband for being so supportive of me and all the time I spend reading and writing. If it weren’t for reading, I never would have tried to write a book. There are a few ladies who really inspired me to write. Margaret Freund~ Thank you for all the great ideas for future stories. And thank you for being one of the first people to read the start of my first story and encourage me to continue with it. Kristie Krainock Wittenberg~ I want to say that I love you and thank you for our late-night brain storming sessions we have. You have been a huge support to me. You have faith in me that I can write even when I’m struggling. Thank you so much for being here for me. Annie Hargrove~ Thank you for being you. Telling me that it’s hard to make it as an author but to keep going. To never give up and always follow my heart. You’re an amazing woman, and I’m blessed to have you in my life. Lyra Parish~ Thank you for helping me when I’ve needed help. You are always there to answer any questions I’ve had. I want to give a huge shout-out to Lorrie Anson from Flaming Pen Editing for bringing my book to life. Your editing has helped me learn a lot. Can’t wait to work with you in the future. Thank you Letitia Hasser from RBA Designs for creating my cover for me. Can’t wait to share the others you’ve created for me also. Marie Garner for formatting this book in a rush so I could get it published. Love you, lady. <3 I want to give a huge shout out to Mickey Reed from Mickey Reed Editing for doing last minute proofreading on this story for me. I truly appreciate everything you did for me and this story. I know I’ve missed people and I’m sorry. It takes a lot of people to make a book come to life.

Table of Contents Table of Contents Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Epilogue Author Bio Acknowledgments www.facebook.com/hcarverauthor