Kar Alla -Here With Me

Here With Me Book 2 in the Together Series Alla Kar

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The author makes no claims to, but instead acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the word marks mentioned in this work of fiction. Copyright © 2014 by Alla Kar HERE WITH ME by Alla Kar All rights reserved. Published in the United States of America by Swoon Romance. Swoon Romance and its related logo are registered trademarks of Georgia McBride Media Group, LLC. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Published by Swoon Romance Cover designed by Najla Qamber Cover © 2014 by Swoon Romance

To those who know how it feels to feel empty, And find that person that completes you.

Here With Me Alla Kar

Chapter One Jade “You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am. Like I’m made of glass. Like I’m made of paper. Go ahead and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground. Like a skyscraper.” — Demi Lovato. “Are you listening to me, Jaden?”

No, not really. My father’s BMW grinds to a halt in front of my brother’s apartment building. Or should I say my apartment building.

God, this is going to suck. My freshman year of college, and I’m being forced to live with my older brother. Dad wants me to be safe. He says Adam can show me the ropes and make sure I’m hanging out with the right group of friends. If only that were the case. The truth is, I have no friends, and Dad wants to make sure I’ll be around other human beings instead of staring at my walls all day long. He won’t have anyone to watch over me if I stay in a

dorm room. What’s he going to do, pay my roommate to hang out with me? With my brother being a social butterfly, I’ll be exposed to people my age. What Dad forgets—or decides to ignore—is that I’m going to be surrounded by half-naked girls all the time. Adam is definitely one of those guys. I love him, he’s my brother, but he’s an ass. Dad snaps his fingers in front of my face, and I jump. “Huh?” He ruffles his graying hair and goes to say something when his phone beeps. “Dr. Baker, here. What can I do for you?” he says into the Bluetooth speaker. “Yes, our appointment is tomorrow. Yes, eleven.” Dad clicks his pen, and I watch as he pulls out his checkbook. “Jaden.” I roll my eyes. Money fixes everything, according to Dad, who’s a psychologist, so he should know you can’t buy happiness. “I’m giving you three blank checks. You get anything you need for school. New clothes. Things for school. All of your books are on your bed upstairs. Nancy’s already got everything you’ll need for your room and classes.” Nancy is my dad’s secretary and the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother. I wish she were here. But she has her own kids to worry about. I fold the checks and slip them into my jeans. “Are you ready to go inside? See your new room?” He has this fake enthusiastic tone to his voice. He uses it

on me like I’m three, not eighteen. It’s the same one he uses on his clients—the ones who need mental help. “No,” I say, grabbing my purse, which Dad spent a fortune on. “But, like I have a choice.” Dad frowns, pulls the keys from the ignition, and faces me. The icy look—his real look—is there, but I don’t care. “This should be exciting for you, Jaden.” He reaches for me but withdraws his hand like I might bite him for touching me. His brown eyes narrow and he furrows his thick brows. “This is your chance to make a fresh start. Make friends. Make new memories. Good ones this time.” Dad pulls on his tie. “Okay, Dad. Can we go inside now?” He stares blankly at me for a long while before getting out of the driver’s seat. *** I sigh and step out of the Beemer. This is where rich parents send their children for college. I don’t know how much the rent is, but I know it’s a butt load. Dad doesn’t think twice when Adam asks for money, or me. It’s like second nature to hand over wads of cash. It means he is taking care of his children. More like bribing them, but whatever helps him sleep at night. I follow him up the three flights of stairs to the fourth floor. There is music vibrating from the other side. Dad raps his knuckles roughly against the door. He knocks louder, grumbling underneath his breath. His arm

flies up, and he glances at his watch. He’s sweating in his damn suit. Only my dad would wear a suit to help his daughter move. Not that we have to actually do any moving. Dad pulls out his cell. I figure he’s calling Adam, but it goes straight to voicemail. “Damn it,” he grumbles before pounding his fist against the door. “Open the door, Adam!” he yells. I play with a dark curl hanging against my shoulder and bite my lip to keep from laughing. A bead of sweat drops from Dad’s upper lip. Then the door swings open and my eyes snap upward.

Holy Shit. My. God. A shiver shoots down my spine as I drink in everything that’s standing in front of me. He has dark brown hair that’s standing up like a woman has recently been raking her hands through it. My eyes drag down his body over each lean, long muscle. Tattoos cover his torso, from a long, tribal tattoo to something peeking out of his low-rise sweats, to a cluster of them along his other arm. Jesus

Christ. Something settles in my lower stomach, and I squeeze my thighs together to keep the heat in. Is this a

dream? Are we at the right apartment? We have to have the wrong apartment. I glance at the door. 306. Nope, right apartment. Dad makes a disgusted snort and waves his hand in

front of him. It isn’t long before I smell why. Either a skunk died in their apartment or they’re smoking weed. “I’m looking for Adam.” My eyes settle on his dimples—of course, he has dimples—and then move with him as he rests against the doorframe. “Adam Baker?” he asks. His voice sends another roll of lava under my skin while my toes curl in my Dolce & Gabbana suede, knee-high boots. Damn. Dad’s teeth grind together. “Yes, my son. Is he here?” Pursing his thick, pink lips, he strokes the scruff on his jaw with a long finger. Dad seems uneasy. “Adam. Hmm, Adam.” His gaze drifts over to me for the first time, and my sex clenches. Lifting a brow, he rakes his eyes from my hair to my toes. I squeeze my already curled feet into my shoes.

What. The. Hell? Dad snaps his fingers in front of his face, and he drops his “I’m-taking-all-your-clothes-off-in-my-head-rightnow” look. “Is Adam here?” He smiles—God, he smiles—and I bite my tongue. He’s making fun of my dad, and I can’t help but grin. “Yeah, he’s in the living room.” Dad pushes his way in. I wait in the hall unsure of what to do and fighting the urge to drink him in again. When I do look his left hand is wrapped around the top of the doorframe, and he leans toward me. His dark eyes

penetrate me, and I’m trying not to lap like a dog from the heat of it. “You can come in. I won’t bite you, Princess,” he whispers before his tongue darts out of the side of his mouth. “But no promises about licking.” I haven’t even stepped foot inside of my new home, and I need to change my panties. He laughs at the expression on my face. Could I be any more embarrassed? “What are you doing to my sister, Cade? Leave her the hell alone.” Adam shows up in the doorway. He has a lazy smile on his lips and his arms wide open. I take a few cautious steps toward him, definitely aware of how close I am to the tall, dark, and handsome standing next to me. Cade doesn’t answer, but I hear the door click shut behind us. His front is really close to my butt now, and I feel his breath on my neck. My gaze turns to my dad who’s examining the living room from several feet away, oblivious to everything else. The warmth from his body heats me. I want to move, but my feet won’t budge. Then Adam pulls me to him and wraps me in a hug. His breath hits the side of my face and I nearly gag. He’s definitely high as a fucking kite. The entire place smells like weed which explains why it took them ten minutes to answer the door. I pull back and scrunch my nose. He ruffles my hair like he does our cocker spaniel and slaps me on the back. Like I need another reason—besides being the same bra size since ninth grade—for him to think I’m a little kid. “This is Jaden,” Adam says, gesturing toward

me. “This is Cade.” I turn to gaze up at him when something catches my attention. A long-legged blond staggers toward us. “Ah.” Adam smiles. “And this is Sadie.” She is swaying her hips like she’s on the damn runway. When she reaches Cade, she peers down at me. She’s probably 5’9, and I have never felt this small. 5’2 doesn’t compete with 5’9. Ever. Her slender arm snakes around Cade’s waist as she offers me her other hand. Of course, I take it. “Jaden,” I mumble. The gross grease stain on the kitchen floor is suddenly very interesting. “Sadie,” she says, with a voice that matches her long, silky hair. “So you’re Adam’s sister?” My cheeks are hot and I can feel Cade’s eyes on me. God, why am I so lame? “Yes.” She nods and nuzzles her mouth against Cade’s thick neck. Cade doesn’t move, keeping an amused smile directed toward me. He makes this face—a face that tells me he thinks I’m like not old enough to watch him be kissed. The thought sends rage through me. Why do I care so much about what he thinks? “Come on, sis. Let me show you to your room.”

Thank, God. *** I nearly race out of the small kitchen and into the hallway. Adam slings his arm around me and pulls me close to his

side. “This is it.” I take a step in, checking behind me to see Dad following us, and smile. My entire room is in grays and whites. Paris, London, Tokyo, and Australia pictures line my walls. It’s my dream to travel, and Nancy always supports it. She decorated this perfectly. It looks magazine worthy. “Do you like it?” Dad asks from the doorway. He’s checking his phone, and I’m sure he doesn’t really care if I do or not. I don’t think he’s even looked up. “It’s great. Thanks.” “Good. No problem.” He shoves his phone in his pocket. “Your schedule is in your history book. You’ve already been registered. So all you have to do is show up for class tomorrow.” He puts his hands into his pockets and gives me his patient smile. It’s totally fake. “Your pills are on your nightstand,” he adds. Warmth envelopes my cheeks. When I glance at Adam, he’s staring at me with a worried expression. “And you know you have your appointment next—” “Yep, got it,” I say, dropping my purse on my bed before I take a seat I do not want to talk about this. Dad and I haven’t talked about my medication since I was put on it over a year ago. An eerie silence envelopes the room, and I pretend to pick lint off of my new comforter. A huge black desk sits beside my bed. My laptop, printer, books, and pens sit on top. A bookshelf near the window overflows with books, and my dresser stands

opposite of the bed, close to my entertainment center. Dad claps his hands. “Adam, you keep an eye on her.” He points to me like I’m some kind of prized possession. “Keep her away from”—his eyes move toward the kitchen—“people.” Adam laughs. Plopping down beside me on the bed, he runs his fingers through his dark hair. “Dad, Jaden isn’t exactly Cade’s type. You don’t have to worry about him. He isn’t around much, anyway.” Not his type? Not that I give a shit, but why? Oh— that’s right—because I’m five feet two, and the boob fairy ran out of boobage when she was giving all the other girls theirs. “Good,” Dad says, straightening his tie. “I’ve got to jet. If you…need anything let me know, okay?” I nod. Reluctantly, Dad walks over and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Bye, Jaden. You can come home whenever you feel like it, okay?” I nod. Then he’s gone. Just like that. Once the door closes, Adam lets out a huge sigh and slams his palms down on the bed. “I’m so glad he’s gone.” I smile over at him. “Why, because you’re scared he’d find out that skunk smell isn’t really a skunk?” Adam’s green eyes, that match mine, dart over to me. “Oh, Dad knows. He just didn’t say anything because as long as I’m not getting girls pregnant and staying in

school, he doesn’t care. But how would you know what that smells like, huh?” I roll my eyes and stand up. “So, I guess you’re stuck with me now?” Adam gets to his feet, stretching his arms above his head. “Guess so. But, hey,” he says, grabbing my wrist, “are you okay? I mean…” He trails off because neither one of us knows what to say. Adam knows what happened in school. Hell, my grandma who lives five hundred miles away knows about what happened at school. “I’m fine.” I snatch my dresser drawer open and pull out underwear, a tank top, and some yoga pants. “Like Dad said, I’m starting over.” Adam gets quiet and his eyes drop to the floor. “Speaking of Dad. He hasn’t hit you again, has he?” I swallow the lump that’s trying to crawl up my throat. Dad went a little crazy this summer and slapped me. He’d never done it before, but it stung and brought tears to my eyes. All because I didn’t want to go to my appointment. I just wanted to skip one. “No he hasn’t.” Adam nods. “Good. I’d kill him if he did, J.” Then he reaches his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side. “But the bastard is right. This is a chance to start over.” He kisses the top of my head. “Hurry and shower. Will is getting back from baseball practice, and I want to introduce you.” “Who’s Will?” “My other roommate.” “Another? What do you mean?” I think I know exactly

what he means. That Cade is one of those other said roommates. I just thought he was visiting. I didn’t think I’d have to actually live with him. “Cade and Will are both roommates. Cade moved in a few weeks ago. But don’t worry, they won’t bother you. They know you’re my little sister. I’d beat their asses.” That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried I’ll embarrass myself living with two college guys. Or the fact that I’m super aware of everything Cade does around me. Or how large his shoulders are. Christ, did Dad not think this out at all? I’m going to be surrounded by guys all the time. “Oh,” I say. Grabbing my things, I shoot across the hallway toward the bathroom before he can see the worry line in my forehead.

Chapter Two Cade “I’m guessing Sadie went home?” Adam asks from the recliner. I tip back my beer, letting the liquor scorch down my throat. Then I take a slice of pizza from the box on the living room table. “Yeah, she sucked that dick pretty good, too.” Adam laughs. “I heard she was good. I’m glad she lives up to her reputation.” I nod and inhale my pizza. I’m starving. Fucking will do that to you. “You’re damn right. Just like I like ‘em.” Adam grabs the remote and turns the game down. “Hey,” he says, turning to rest his elbows on his knees. “What do you think about my sister?” She wouldn’t even fucking look at me when she walked in. Basically ran from the room the first shot she got. I saw her looking at me out in the hallway. Just like my eyes had taken off all of those expensive clothes Daddy bought her. She’s pretty hot…in a fresh-out-of-high-school kind of way. Not that I would ever do anything about it. Adam is my bro. “What’s up with her, anyway? I would figure she wouldn’t want to live with you. Not with the freedom of living in a dorm room.” “She doesn’t. My dad is making her. She doesn’t… make friends easily, and he thinks moving her in with me

will help.”

Eighteen-year-old spoiled rich girl doesn’t make friends easily? Who the hell would have thought? I snort and wipe my greasy hands on my sweats. “You think that’s smart? Wait until Will sees her. You know how he is about fresh meat.” Adam groans and leans against his seat. “I’ll talk to him. He won’t touch her if I say so.” Doubt it. Will is a conniving little prick. But I don’t push it. The front door opens, and Adam gives me a worried look. I can’t blame him. Will comes around the corner, pulling off his shirt. “What the hell is for dinner?” he asks, wiping his sweaty forehead with his workout jersey. I don’t answer, but he doesn’t expect me to. Will isn’t my favorite person, and he knows it. When I realized he was the other roommate, I nearly left. But I need this place. Since the rent is divided it’s one-third cheaper because of Will—now one-fourth because of Adam’s sister. Thank God. Working these double shifts at the garage is killing me. “Nothing, man. I need to talk to you real quick,” Adam says, waving him in. Will raises a blond eyebrow and walks over to us, one hand in his hair and the other on his hip. He’s what I would call a pretty boy with Daddy’s checkbook. And he flaunts it all the damn time. “Did someone die? You’re fucking freaking me out.” “It’s nothing like that. It’s just—” “Hey, Adam, can I borrow your hair dryer? Nancy

forgot—” Jaden stops mid-sentence and stares at us. Her brown hair is wet, droplets running down her white tank top. I can make out the edge of her small, pink nipple below it. As if she knows what I’m thinking, her hands wrap around her small chest. The brightness in her cheeks darkens against her tanned skin. She bites her lower lip, gnawing on it. It’s kind of adorable. “Um, yeah, it’s on my dresser,” Adam says. She nods and disappears down the hallway before anyone can say anything. When I look over at Will, he is jabbing his finger at her and smiling like a damn weasel. “Adam? Do you have a friend over, or is that our new little sister, Jaden?” Adam narrows his eyes and clenches his fist. “Will,” he warns. “That’s my fucking little sister, don’t even start, man. I told you!” Will laughs and holds his hands up. “Calm down. I was just admiring the view. I bet she won’t even remember my name by the time I graduate. I won’t be anywhere near her. Swear.” He puts his hand over his heart in a dramatic jackass way that irks me. Adam grumbles but leans back into his chair. “Can I at least speak to her when I see her?” Will asks, unlacing his nasty-ass cleats. He tosses them in the corner and begins to strip out of his clothes. Adam ignores him and glares at me. “Want to watch the rest of the game?” I shake my head. “I’m beat. I have class and a double tomorrow. Don’t wait up.” I stagger off down the

hallway. I don’t have much in my room but a bed, clothes, TV, and my guitar in the corner. All I do in here is sleep… and fuck, but as long as you have a bed no one really cares. It’s nothing like Jaden’s room. I sneaked a look before she got here. It looks like a magazine. But Adam’s family is loaded. Not that you can tell by being friends with him. He’s down to earth. Not like his asshole dad. He barely said two words to either of his kids. And left before Jaden could get settled. Douchebag. Slipping on a fresh undershirt and sweats, I make my way to the kitchen. Will is sitting on the counter beside Jaden. He’s eating something and staring her down like a fucking creep. I regret not leaving him any pizza now. She swings around and puts the milk back into the refrigerator. His eyes travel down to her ass, and he lifts an eyebrow. It’s a nice ass, don’t get me wrong. It’s plump, rounded, and comes up to the tiniest waist I’ve seen in a while. “What you eating?” Will asks over his spoon. She looks down at her bowl and back up at him. “Cereal,” she says lightly. Dumbass. He nods. “You ready for your first day tomorrow?” She leans against the counter and pushes her spoon around in her bowl. She isn’t wearing the white shirt like before, and I smile knowing she had noticed me looking. When she looks up, her cheeks are a dark red. Shaking my head, I walk in and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

“I’m actually really nervous,” she says. “You’ll be fine, sweetheart. I can show you around if you want. I wouldn’t mind.” He gives her the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. What a dickhead. Swallowing, she glances up at him. “I would love a guide. All I have are some maps that they gave us at registration. They’re kind of confusing.” Will isn’t listening. I watch as I twist the top of my water and take a swig. He’s like a lion, zeroing in on prey that he was specifically asked to stay away from. Adam might as well have given him condoms when he asked him to stay away. “Want to try some of this?” Will asks, offering her his spoon. It looks like peanut butter and something mixed together. Jaden’s grip tightens on her bowl, but she politely nods. “Sure.” Will jumps down from the counter, leans close to her, and places the spoon at her lips. Her full, pink lips. They part as the spoon touches the outside of her mouth. Is this fucker crazy? Quietly groaning, I make a grand show of turning and bumping into Will. His bowl falls to the floor with a runny plop and splatters against his shirt on the way down. “What the hell, man?” he yells, looking down at his stained shirt. My eyes find hers. I’m giving her a chance to run for the hills, but she stares blankly at me. “My bad.” I point toward the floor and his shirt. “Better go get cleaned up though.”

He narrows his eyes at me, and then disappears around the corner, cussing under his breath. “Sorry,” I tell her, taking another large swig of my water. “I’m clumsy.” She narrows her green eyes and leans against the counter. “Sure. You look like you’d be clumsy,” she says over her spoon. What’s that supposed to mean? I lift an eyebrow and obviously look her up and down. She squirms and looks at her bowl. “You do that a lot,” I say. “Do what?” “Look down when you’re embarrassed.” Her head jerks up, and she presses her lips into a tight line. It’s the only emotion, besides discomfort, that I’ve seen from her. “I’m not embarrassed.” “Really?” I ask, lifting a brow. “Your cheeks are red.” Her hand automatically reaches for her reddened cheek. Dumping her bowl into the sink, she turns to stare at me. Her mouth is partly open, like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t. I give her a quick wink and wrap my lips around the top of my water. She watches the movement, her mouth parting, and her eyes round. It goes straight to my dick. “See something you like?” I ask, gently. She crosses her arms over her chest. Her dark hair falls in front of her face in an attempt to cover her blushing cheeks. “Goodnight.”

I watch her hips sway as she walks to her room. It’s not like I’d actually date her. She isn’t my type, and she’s my best friend’s little sister. It’s just fun to get her worked up. To see those cheeks turn pink. I’m laughing when Will walks back into the kitchen. “Where did she go?” I roll my eyes and toss my water bottle into the trash. “To bed, to get away from your dumbass.” He grumbles beneath his breath, and I walk toward my room. Light spills through the crack in Jaden’s doorway and into the hallway. It’s right next to my room and across from the bathroom that we’ll be sharing. I never had a girl roommate, and never wanted one. There is too much temptation living with the opposite sex because they’re always there. But now not only do I have a roommate but she’s my best-friend’s little sister. Just fucking great. I glance over my shoulder to see if Will is near before leaning closer to her door to peek inside. Her TV is on but too low to tell what she’s watching. She’s turned toward her nightstand and when she tosses something into her mouth, I see a few prescription bottles beside her.

What medication is she on? Not that it’s any of my business. Hell, why am I even pulling a peeping Tom and spying on her? I take a step back, and rub my palm down my face. I walk toward my room and shut my door behind me. I have too many things to worry about and I’m not adding Adam’s little sister to the list.

Not going to happen.

Chapter Three Jaden My stomach feels nauseated and bile rises up my throat. My head presses against the side of the toilet, and I curl up like a snake. The sad thing is that I don’t know if I’m sick because I’m so nervous or if it’s because I vomit regularly from my medication. I’m surprised I didn’t see death on the warning label. She isn’t going to be there, I tell myself. She’s off to

college in Florida—a long ways from Utah. Never to be heard from again…hopefully. And yet a huge cloud of despair hangs over me. I shouldn’t let my high school experience ruin college, but I can’t stop myself from thinking what if? What if someone worse than Selena starts with me? What if my reputation has made it all the way to the university? What if I’m ostracized like before? I wouldn’t be surprised. It seems everyone knows about it. About my…past. My life. My issues. A burning lump travels up my throat, and I dry heave into the toilet. God, how pathetic. I barely slept last night. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the distant sound of Cade snoring in the next room. My hair falls around my face, and I try to keep it from sticking to the corner of my mouth. Another round starts, and I throw up my cereal from the night before. I should

have known better than to eat that late. Something bumps against the wall on the other side, and I hear a slew of cuss words shortly after. It has to be Cade. God, what an arrogant ass. There was so much I wanted to say to him last night, but I kept my mouth shut. Like always. I know that wasn’t an accident yesterday. I appreciated it; Will is overbearing. But how does he know I didn’t want Will to flirt with me? I didn’t, but I could have. Cade thinks he’s so freaking cute. With his charming smile and tattoos. That doesn’t make up for being an ass. The door swings open before I can move, and I press my back against the tub. Cade stares down at me. He’s shirtless and his hair is a mess of tangles, like he just spent a long night in bed with someone. “What the fuck? Are you okay?” he asks, crouching in front of me. “What’s wrong with you?” He taps my knee. I watch his heavy eyebrows pull down in the middle. I want to press my finger against that worry line and smooth it out. But I don’t. I crawl up against the tub with my knees to my chin like a child. “I’m just a little sick to my stomach. No big deal.” I go to stand, but my knees give out. Cade reaches forward and catches me, pulling me to his chest. Holy fuck. He’s hard… everywhere. The lines in his muscles are defined, causing his tattoos to look like they’re about to bust open. “Jesus Christ,” he whispers. Gently, he pulls my hair from my face. The touch burns underneath my skin, melting my bones into goo. “Have you been throwing up all night?”

He’s too close. His green eyes are light, tracing over me like he wants to help but doesn’t know how. “I’m fine,” I say, pulling away from him to stagger up. “I’m fucking fine,” I whisper, tears burning my eyes. God, don’t you dare cry, you big baby. “Just nervous.” He nods. “Okay, so why don’t you tell me what’s really wrong?” “I’m sick.” He narrows his eyes. “Obviously, but why? You’re nervous about what exactly?” He grabs his toothpaste and squeezes some onto his toothbrush before running it under the water and shoving it into his mouth. “School? You shouldn’t worry about it; it’ll be fine once you get in there,” he says around his toothbrush. “Are you Dr. Phil?” A smile forms around his toothbrush. “Ah, I didn’t expect such a pretty, pouty mouth to be so snappy.” His eyes explore me from head to toe. He isn’t even trying to hide it. With no shame, he drags his eyes back up to my own. “You better get ready.” He turns and spits into the sink. “Will is up and ready to show you around.” He winks and leaves me sitting in the bathroom.

Bastard. *** After I take a shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, and grab my books, I find Will standing in the kitchen, sucking

down some orange juice. He’s what I would call a typical fraternity guy. The button-down Polo shirt hugs his chest, and his jeans hang low on his hips. He even has Dr. Martens on. His smile is always there because nothing ever goes wrong for him. Not a care in the world. I went to a prep school. It was full of guys just like Will. But maybe I’m a little judgmental and should give the guy a chance. No one ever gave me one, and I know how bad that sucks. Tossing his glass in the sink, he turns to me. A dark blond strip of hair falls into his dark eyes, but he blows it back into place. “You ready to go to class?” Not really. If Dad would let me have a car, I wouldn’t even have to worry about getting places. “Sure. Is—” “Wait, you’re taking her to her class?” Adam asks from the bar, giving Will a death glare. Will responds with an easy smile and pats my back. “Just helping her out. Since you didn’t offer. What a big brother you are, huh?” Adam swallows and gives me another look. “Ugh,” I groan. “I need to go, class starts in ten minutes.” Will gestures toward me and gives Adam a pointed gaze. “Whatever,” Adam mumbles. Will drives a Lexus. I’m not surprised. Will has been Adam’s friend for a couple of years, and I hear his parents are loaded, too. “So, what class do you have first?” he asks. I pull my schedule from my history book. “Journalism.”

Will turns onto the university’s road and pulls into a parking lot. “That’s in the Fine Arts Center. It’s right over here.” He presses his finger against the map. “We’re here.” Then he runs his fingers over my own. I jerk my hand away and avoid his stare. Before he can make another move, I get out of the car. When I hear his door slam, I sigh to myself. Will wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. “So, what’s your major?” Really? That’s his line? I try to shrug out of his hold, but he pulls me tighter. “Undecided.” “You’ve got time, sweetheart. Plenty of time. This is it,” he says, gesturing toward the building in front of us like I couldn’t have found it myself. “I’m on the other side of campus. You need me to show you the room?” God, no. I slip from under his arm. “No, I can get it. Thanks, though. I’ll see you later.” Biting his lip, he lets his eyes linger over me. “Sure, thing. If you need help after this class call me.” Will digs my cell out of my back pocket, his hand caressing my ass. Oh, no. When he puts his number into my phone, he slips it back in and pats my ass before smiling down at me. My mouth pops open and he walks away before I can say anything.

Did he really just do that? What an asshole. I watch him walk away with my mouth hanging open. Adam is going to kill him. Then I turn and glance up at the stone-like building. I slip through a set of double doors. It

reminds me of high school when I glance down the hall, but everyone is dressed slouchy. Like they just rolled out of bed. Most probably did. Hugging my books to my chest, I stop in front of room 116. The door is wide open, with a few students already sitting down. I take a huge gulp of air and walk in. Every set of eyes darts toward me and holds. Heat engulfs my cheeks. Lowering my head, I walk to the first row and slip into the second seat. I’m sitting next to a marker board, and all the seats around me are empty. I take in everyone and everything while I pull out my notebook. Most are talking, no longer paying attention to me. A soft sigh escapes my lips. I can’t remember the last time I’ve sat in a classroom without being scared. That’s when I hear her. You can’t mistake that voice. Squeaky. Loud. Hateful. Every piece of me burns with agony. No. No, it’s a dream. A really, really bad dream. My eyes lift from my opened notebook and then I see her. She’s walking into the classroom, hands cupping her books to her chest. Her brown hair is down to her midshoulder. Her jeans—if you want to call them that—are low and tight to her slender waist. She’s walking with some guy who looks way older than us. Laughing, she throws her head back in that dramatic kind of way, but when she looks down her eyes meet mine. Shock rolls over her. Like she didn’t make fun of me for not getting into another university. Like she wasn’t the

reason. My grades dropped terribly my senior year, demolishing any chance of a scholarship. Then a smile rises from the corner of her lips. Cupping her hand over her mouth, she whispers into her friend’s ear. He moves his head and looks right at me. Staring. Smiling. Laughing. At. Me. No. Not again. A consuming memory bangs in my head, waiting to be released, to torment me. To bring me back to those miserable days… ***

“You look beautiful, Jaden,” Nancy said, running her hands over my shoulders. I smiled at her in the mirror. I look just like my mother, down to the dimple in my right cheek. Short, hippy, brown hair. Green eyes. Just like her. My red graduation gown swung with each movement. I felt huge, but was so excited to be getting the hell out of school that I didn’t care. “Your mother would be proud of you,” she said. The wrinkles around her eyes crinkled when she smiled. She took me in her arms and held me tight. She smelled like vanilla and Aussie hairspray. “You nervous?” she asked. “No,” I lied. Truth was, I was really nervous. More nervous than I could ever remember. My shaky fingers clung to the edge of my cap as I slid it on my head. My curls hung low

on my shoulders and framed my heart-shaped face. “I’m just ready to get this over with.” Nancy giggled as she sat on the edge of my bed. “Come here, little girl,” she said, patting the seat next to her. Sliding onto my bed, I watched as she reached into the pocket of her cardigan and pulled out a small white box. “It was my mother’s. Since I don’t have any daughters, only those old boys, I figured I would give this to you.” My fingers lingered against the box, tracing the red bow. For me? Tears coated my eyes. Nancy was like a mother to me, but knowing she feels it too made me smile. Dad was really good at buying me things, but he had never given me anything of my mother’s. He never even talked about her. Sliding the bow to the side, I unwrapped until a small, delicate rose charm sat in the palm of my hand. The silver chain it was attached to dangled between my fingers. “Nancy, this is beautiful. Are you sure?” She nodded and tilted my chin up. “You’re my daughter, sweetheart. Not by blood, but in here.” She pointed toward my chest. She helped me put it on, and my fingers automatically clenched around the pendant. Her finger traced my hand and stopped on my wrist. Her eyes met mine. “Are you doing better?” she asked, glancing down at the faded cut across the tender skin of my wrist. My blue veins made a spaghetti of lines

underneath my skin. Shame boiled inside of me. “Yes, I haven’t in a long time.” Lie. She pressed her hands to my cheeks. Worry was written all over her. “Get ready. We’re leaving in ten.” ***

The gymnasium parking lot overflowed with ritzy vehicles. Every pair of high heels and dress clothes I passed on my way to the entrance was designer. Parents. Grandparents. Sisters and brothers. Every seat was filled when we started our walk toward our seats. I was positioned between two big football players, and I could barely see over their tree trunks of arms. They started calling names, and my body began to burn with nerves. Craning my neck, I searched the crowd for my dad. I finally found him, texting on his phone, but my brother was sitting next to him, actually paying attention. Looking for me. When his eyes landed on mine he stood and waved. I waved back. When they got to the B’s my heart started to thump in my ears. The red and blue Mount Vermont Academy banners were spread all over the gym, making it impossible not to think about Superman all the time. “Jaden Lynn Baker.” Is it my turn already? Standing up, I saw my entire row had already gone, and I hadn’t noticed. My legs felt

like goo as I walked up to the podium to accept my certificate. Our principal smiled down at me and gave me one strong jerk of a handshake. “Great job, Jaden. Good luck in the future!” I smiled and turned my head so the photographer could take my picture. Then I heard it. Plain as day. Echoing loudly through the gymnasium. “Ho, sit down!” The entire place fell dead silent. People’s faces blurred through my tears, their gowns a collage of red and blue. Every ounce of my being shriveled up into ash. My heartbeat jackhammered in my throat, making it hard for me to breathe. “Get her off stage!” someone else shouted. “Sit down, stupid whore!” I didn’t need to see who that someone was because I would never forget her voice. The voice had tormented me for an entire year. The voice had started all the gossip. The voice had turned all my friends against me. I stood, staring out at my classmates as they snickered. A blur of red and blue decorations disoriented me. My diploma dropped from my hands, and a sob broke from my lips. I ran out of the gym and away from that fucking school. *** “Jaden Baker!”

I jolt out of my daze. My hand automatically wraps around the rose necklace against my chest. The professor is searching the room from over her glasses. When did she even get here? “Jaden Baker. Is there a Jaden Baker here?” My arm shoots up. “Sorry. Yes, that’s me.” And of course, not that I expected anything less, everyone turns to stare at me. The professor smiles and continues her way down her list. My thoughts settle. A giggle echoes from the opposite side of the classroom. When I turn, Selena is facing me, staring me down like an animal. Why is she even here? She’s supposed to be in Florida. My throat has closed up, and my breath is getting hard to catch. A red-haired girl sitting beside Selena turns to meet my gaze before her lips pull up in a sneer. I’ve never met her in my entire life. Never seen her. But she’s turning around to face Selena, whispering into her ear now. They both erupt in laughter. “Definitely a fucking slut. You have no idea,” Selena says. Hiding my face with my hair, I stick my pen inside my notebook and close it. I wish I could curl up so tight I’d evaporate. Disappear. Go to some wonderland somewhere that doesn’t have people like Selena. But that’s not going to happen. “Hey,” someone says beside me. I glance over at a boy who’s staring over at me. His popped collar is crisp, and I think he may have gone to my prep school. An easy smile on his face. “You’re Jaden, right?”

“Yes.” He gives me a huge toothy smile. “Want to hook up later? I’ve heard you’re down with that.” Anger swarms my stomach, climbing its way up to strangle my throat. Swallowing, I push back the tears, grab my books, and jet out of the classroom. *** I have no way to get home. My dad refused to give me my car back after the incident. So I’m stuck calling my brother. Straight to voicemail. Will is in class, and I don’t know anyone else. Frustrated, I sling my bag higher on my shoulder and start toward our apartment. Tears slide down my cheeks, hanging onto my chin. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. It takes thirty minutes to walk home. I’m missing my first day, but I can’t go back. What if I have more classes with her? I can’t even think straight. I can feel the tightness on my cheeks from the tear streaks. Pathetic. I climb the stairs to our apartment and sigh once the door is opened and locked behind me. Silence greets me. Sliding down the door, I cradle my knees to my chest, tears soaking the knees of my jeans as I sob. One of those snotty, embarrassing cries. “Are you okay?” I lean backward and bump the back of my head against the door. Palming the spot, I lift my gaze to Cade’s.

He’s leaning against the dining room table, staring at me. His black hair is standing straight up. A mechanic’s shirt is fit tightly to his chest and arms. Matching black pants ride low on his hips. “Fine. Just…feeling sick again.” He lifts a brow. “Really?” Grinding my teeth together, with the door’s help, I stagger up until I’m leaning against the door. “Yes.” “Why aren’t you in class?” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Why aren’t you?” I snap, grabbing my bag. He groans, and I hate that my stomach tightens. “Because I have to work. I only have one class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Not that it’s your concern.” “Well, then, you don’t need to worry about me either. Do you?” Tilting my head upwards, I walk past him. Callused fingers wrap around the curve of my elbow and pull me toward him. “Did Will hurt you?” he asks softly. One finger gently, almost unnoticeably, makes a circle against the inside of my arm. “No,” I say, stepping out of his warm grasp. Does he think he will? “No, it’s just…” I trail off. What am I going to say? That the evil witch of the north decided to come to my college? The college I was supposed to be able to attend without being bullied? The one escape I had is now gone. Evaporated into thin air. “I’m just not feeling well,” I lie. Then I turn and race to my room.

Chapter Four Cade What. The. Hell? Jaden shuts the door behind her with a loud thud. She’d been crying, sobbing. What am I supposed to do? Go after her? I turn to go after her, but stop. I don’t know

what to say to her. She doesn’t tell me anything when I ask. Growling, I roll my neck and grab my keys. I have to be at the garage in fifteen minutes. Locking the door, I take the steps two at a time. My pickup is parked at the other end. It looks ridiculous with all of the expensive cars surrounding it. It’s rusted, beat-up, and old. But frankly, I don’t give a shit. She’s been with me since the beginning, and I would never toss her to the curb. I race toward it, sliding against the gravel, sling the door open, and burn rubber out of the parking lot. The gate guard gives me a go to hell look as I leave. I raise my hand out of the window and wave at him. Digging through my shirt pocket, I pull out a cigarette and light it. I take a slow, much-needed drag. The drive to work only takes about ten minutes. It’s just up the road from our complex. I pull in with a few minutes to spare. Standing outside, I take one last drag and stomp the butt out. Dan is on the phone when I walk in. He has that

annoyed scowl on his face. You can barely see it from underneath his handlebar mustache. Two young girls stand at the counter. One, the brunette, keeps tapping her cell. The redhead is staring Dan down like she hopes he bursts into flames. It seems like it’s the year of the rich bitches— they’re everywhere. The brunette twirls her finger around her hair and lets out an annoyed sigh. Dan gives me a help me stare and jabs his finger over his shoulder toward the girls. Sighing, I open the swinging door and walk up to the counter. “What can I help you two ladies with?” “Finally,” the redhead says. The brunette lifts her finger to the other girl and turns back to me with a smile. “Yes, I need my oil changed. It’s the Beemer outside.”

Of course it is. “Okay, I’ll have someone pull the car around. It should be,” I check the list, “about thirty minutes. Is that okay, kid?” She pops her gum loudly and flutters her eyelashes. “Thank you, sir,” she purrs. She twitches off toward a seat in the lobby. They turn toward each other and start giggling in one another’s ears. Definitely freshman. “Those damn telemarketers won’t fucking stop calling. If they’d give me a break I might could get caught up on these damn books,” Dan grumbles, slamming his clipboard down before pulling out his glasses and looking down.

I roll my eyes. Having more time would only give Dan more time to fuck up the books. He can’t keep track of shit. “What we got?” he asks. He scans the list with squinted eyes. “Oil change,” I say. Turning, he runs his fingers through his graying hair. He’s an old guy, but the best one in the fucking world. He gave me this job even after looking at my rap sheet. I haven’t been…picture perfect my entire life. Hell, I’m not even really there now. “You want to get started on it for me? John is late.” “Again?” He shrugs. “Just go, Cade. Don’t start.” I shoo him away and gather my things. “Did you see her cry?” the redhead says. “She ran out of class like a damn baby.” “I know. She’s been like that forever. Such a crybaby,” the brunette says, acid lacing her voice. “The only good thing about her is her hot brother. Adam Baker. Dreamy. Oh I think he’s looking at us,” she whispers, locking eyes with me. I turn before she gets the idea I’d actually consider her. Adam? They’re talking about Jaden? I grab a wrench and try to listen, but they’re already talking about my tattoos. Fuck. She ran out of her class today? Had they made her cry? “Cade,” Dan yells.

“Coming.” *** I clock out at eight. I worked John’s shift for him today and spent my break at the gas station next door, scarfing down a burnt corndog and fries. My muscles ache, I smell like oil, and my hands are so dark I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get this grease completely off of me. “See you later, kid,” Dan yells from the opened lobby door. I give him a nod and shut the driver’s side door of my truck. My baby purrs when I turn her on, and my fingers lace around her leather steering wheel. The clock on the dash flashes eight fifteen. I need to get home, eat something, do my fucking homework, and go to bed. But I don’t. I put the car into reverse and head out of the parking lot. I stop and get some groceries on the way home and start to my mother’s house. My mother’s house—my childhood home—is located in a bad part of town, past the railroad tracks and stuck behind two abandoned houses. With Dad bailing when I was six, Mom couldn’t afford anything better. And when she started doing crack, she couldn’t even afford this. No bills were ever paid unless I paid them, which I did with stolen cash from school, until I was old enough to work. Then I earned it. My mom’s old rusted Firebird is sitting in the gravel driveway. Stray weeds grow around the tires. It doesn’t look

like it’s been touched in a week. All the lights are off, but she never has them on. Saves electricity she says, but it’s really because it hurts her eyes when she’s blowed. And she’s always blowed. Getting out, I grab the groceries I bought and lock my doors. The porch squeaks under my feet, and a stray cat scurries toward the dead bushes in front of the house. Opening the door, the smell almost knocks me over. She hasn’t cleaned in weeks—months. Anger rushes through me, but I push it back. Getting angry at her doesn’t help; she closes up and recoils into her shell. I push all the shit lying on the floor out of the way with my boot so I don’t fall, like last time. “Mom?” I yell. Nothing. “Mom!” Nothing. I drop the groceries and flip on each light as I make my way through the house. When I get to her bedroom, I flip on the light and see her on the bed. She holds her hand up to block the light and narrows her gaze. “Turn that fucking light off, Cade,” she hisses through her teeth, which look like she hasn’t brushed them in weeks. I glance around the room. Her TV is playing lightly. Tissues, clothes, and a needle lie on her bed. She catches my gaze and throws the covers over the needle. “Can you turn the light off?” she snaps again. I walk toward her and stop abruptly in front of her bed. “No, I won’t. Stop fucking smoking crack, or shooting

up whatever, and it won’t bother you. Do you need anything? Besides a bath?” She jerks her head like she’s been slapped. Her thin fingers run through her faded blond hair. It leaves a grease mark against her face. God, when is the last time she’s looked at herself? “Don’t talk to me like that. I’m your goddamn mother, Cade.” “Could have fooled me,” I say, picking up her dirty clothes and putting them into the hamper. I’ll wash them because I know she won’t. She watches me, and tears burst from her eyes. Goddamn it. I drop her clothes and take her in my arms. “I’m sorry, Momma. Look, if you would just go to the rehab center you could—” “No,” she says, pushing away. She crawls to the headboard and watches me through hooded eyes. “I’m not going to that fucking place. I’m fine, Cade. I just need a couple more weeks, and I’ll be all better.” She twitches, scratching at her scalp. “Just give me a few weeks,” she mumbles, lying against her pillow. “Just a few more weeks.” ***

“Just a few more weeks, Sammy!” my mother screamed at my dad. She was hunched down in the middle of her bed, cradling her head in her hands. She looked like a scared child. Not like the other moms. They looked nice. Smelled nice. Mom cried a lot more, too. My hands were wrapped around a Ninja Turtle

headband, while I stood at the doorway of my room. I watched as my dad walked back and forth between the door and their bed. “I’ve heard it before, Stephanie. I’ve heard it, and I’m sick of it. It’s always ‘a few more weeks,’ or ‘I promise I’ll get clean,’ but it never happens.” Dad looked like a giant compared to Mom. I always wanted to grow up to be like him. Then it all vanished just as quickly as it started. “I swear, Sammy. I’m serious this time, please! I can’t take care of Cade by myself. I can’t afford it.” Dad gripped his hair and pulled. “Because you spend it all on drugs, Stephanie. That’s why you can’t. It’s your own fault. I’m sick of living like this. Look at yourself! When is the last time you took a bath, huh?” Mom sobbed louder and fell onto the bed, cradling the pillow to her face. Her sobs turned even louder as my dad grabbed his bag sitting by the door and slung it over his shoulder. “I loved you, Stephanie. I truly did, but I can’t take this anymore. I can’t take the torment of not knowing if you’ll live another day. I’m sorry…I have to leave.” My mother shot up out of the bed, slamming her fists against his chest, and he let her. He watched as she beat him with her balled-up hands. After a few minutes she dropped to the ground, holding her head. Dad didn’t say anything as he passed by me, or when he stopped at the door. He just stood and stared, and then he turned and left.

*** Anger runs through me, and I fight the urge to throw something. Instead, I grab her clothes. “Eat something tonight. I brought you chili. I’ll be back in a couple of days with fresh clothes. I love you, Momma.” She sniffles, looking at me like a scared Chihuahua. Shaking, hunched over, and crying. “Thank you, Cade. I love you, baby. Everything is going to be okay.” Everything is going to be okay? I can’t even remember how many times I’ve heard her say that. I fucking see red. Everything is bloodred. Why is this happening? God, I just want to slap some sense into her. I begged for days, weeks, for her to go to rehab. She does the same shit each time and it breaks my heart more and more every minute. If I can just get her back to normal. Bring her back to life, I may have a chance at saving our family. *** I pull into Smiley’s and park my car at one of the front parking spaces. The lot is dead since it’s the middle of the week. My forehead hits the steering wheel, and I screw my eyes shut. I know I need to go straight home. Straight into my bed, with a fucking good night’s sleep. But just one drink won’t hurt, right?

Yeah, just one drink.

Chapter Five Cade I’m fucking fucked up. My vision is blurry, my feet won’t stay still. Am I even moving them? I’m laughing hysterically at something, but I have no idea what it is. I had one too many Jagerbombs tonight and my body feels numb. A great painfree numb. My phone keeps vibrating in my pocket, but I press the ignore button. Whoever it is can wait. My keys drop from my hand, and I stoop down to scoop them up. The bouncer yells something at me, but I wave as I get into my pickup and start the engine. I just need to get the fuck back to my apartment and go to sleep. I’m going to feel like shit tomorrow. God, I’m starting to feel like shit

now. I take the back road toward the apartment building and drive ten miles per hour. I may be drunk, but I don’t have a death wish. I concentrate with what little focus I have left. The gate guard eyes me as I pull in, and I don’t even bother giving him hell tonight. I park my truck and let out a breath of fresh air. “Shit,” I mumble, grabbing my keys and opening the door. I stagger outside, and my boot catches on the mat, sending me face first into the door. “Fuck!” I yell, as I soar to the ground. My entire body is so numb the asphalt doesn’t even feel that bad. I debate

even trying to get up. People sleep outside all the time, right? Then I taste the metallic in my mouth and spit a puddle of blood onto the parking lot. Yep, the night just keeps getting better and better. I stare at the stars for a while, not even caring that gravel is piercing my skin. When I hear a car door slam, I stagger upward. A couple whispers to each other but avoid eye contact. The stairs kick my ass so that I’m sweating and gasping for breath by the time I get to the third floor. Using the rail, I stagger up toward room 306. Once I get there, I lean my head against the door and pound on it. “Let me in!” I scream at the door. Is it hot out here? Fuck. Fisting my shirt, I pull it over my head and let it hang from my fist. Jesus, it’s hot. I fumble with my belt buckle for several seconds before unzipping my pants. It feels like summer in Death Valley. The door swings open a few seconds later, and Jaden looks out at me. Her pink lips part, and a line creases in her forehead. Her eyes rake down my bruised face and then to my chest. My dick hardens in my pants. Now her eyes are on my unzipped jeans. Shit, she’s pulling

at her lip with her teeth. “Fuck me,” I whisper, reaching out to trail my finger against her lip. She steps back, holding her hand up against the spot I just touched. There go those cheeks again. Bright red, just like the barely there tank top she’s

wearing. Red looks good against her skin. God—I must be drunk. This is Adam’s little sister. “What happened to you?” she says, waving me in. Music plays softly in the background, and something smells fucking good. The door clicks softly behind her and she turns to look up at me. “You’re bleeding.” She starts to touch my lip but thinks better of it.

Good girl, Jaden. Her touching me like this, drunk off my ass, will only lead to me stripping her of those clothes and her innocence. She’s got to be a virgin. If those wide doe eyes don’t give her away, nothing will. “I’m fine,” I say, waving her off. Turning, I see two bowls sitting on the table with ice cream. There are two empty wine glasses sitting beside each one. Is she on a date? “Who are you eating with?” “We’re just having some ice cream. It’s Will. He’s in the bathroom.” Will? Eating with Will? Drinking with Will? I scoff and run my fingers through my hair. The overly aggressive side of me says that Will is a fucking dead man, testing the waters in no man’s land. The passive side of me…who the hell am I kidding? There is no passive side of me. “Right, makes sense. He’s our roommate, after all. Because giving underage girls alcohol is a great thing to do. You’re still a kid,” I say, eyes daring her to argue. She crosses her arms over her chest. I guess she

catches sarcasm easily. “I made dinner for everyone several hours earlier, and he happened to be home first. My brother is studying at the library. And I’m not drinking wine; it’s grape juice from dinner. Not that it’s any of your business.” It doesn’t matter. Or it wouldn’t, if Will wasn’t trying to get into her pants. “You’re right, it’s none of my business,” I snap. “I’m gonna go shower.” “Wait,” she says, grabbing my arm. Her fingers are so fucking small and soft against my skin. “Let me wash your cut off. I have some ointment in my room.” A stray piece of hair falls onto her cheek. Before I think better of it, I tuck it gently behind her ear and slide my fingers down to cup her jaw. She’s not breathing. I love it. I trace the pad of my thumb against her soft lip. “I can take care of myself. You just worry about feeding Will his ice cream, baby,” I whisper close to her mouth. She bats my hand. “Don’t touch me, Cade.” Fuck me. Those pink lips saying my name went straight to my dick and made camp. I groan and ease my back against the counter. “Feisty, aren’t you? Do you hit Will when he touches you?” God, I sound like a fucking pussy. Her eyes widen, and she curls her fists tight against her sides. I lean closer, smelling her flowery scent. “Or do you moan when he does it?” I whisper against her cheek. “Asshole,” she snaps, shoving me in the chest. I stumble backwards, my back hitting the cabinet behind me. She’s out of the kitchen before I have a chance to say

anything more. “What the hell happened to you?” Will says, walking into the kitchen. “No baseball practice today?” I ask, grabbing his bowl off the table. He eyes the bowl and lifts an eyebrow. “Coach canceled. Not that it’s your concern, grease monkey.” He sneers at me. Smiling, I take another bite from his ice cream.

Alcohol and ice cream are not the ideal combination. I hope I don’t regret it later. “This is delicious. But, you’re right. See you tomorrow, bro.” I scarf down the last bite of ice cream quickly. Tool. I could have slapped the smirk off his face, not that I know why exactly. Sure, Will is always a dickwad, but he doesn’t normally piss me off this badly. Stashing the bowl in the kitchen, I walk into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I strip out of my work pants. Freedom. Someone knocks on the door but I don’t answer. I don’t have time for Will’s shit tonight. My fingers lace through the waistband of my underwear when I hear another knock. Groaning, I stay silent, hoping they’ll go away. I don’t have time to talk to anyone. I just want to get in the shower and take care of these stupid cuts. I would fall out of the fucking truck onto the—the door flies open. Jaden is on her knees. My mouth pops open. “First off, what the fuck? And second, how did you get in here?” She stands, slides the door closed, and looks up at me. “You wouldn’t answer the door, and I got worried. So, I

picked the lock. Now sit down on the toilet so I can clean your cut.” My mouth is still hanging open, so I slowly close it. She looks uneasy now. Her arms tuck around her chest, and she gnaws on that goddamn lip again. I hold back a growl and lean backwards toward the sink. Sliding my hands against the counter, I lift myself onto the tile, my legs spread wide. She takes a few steps forward until she’s close enough to touch. She looks so fucking small between my legs. Small. Flexible. Portable. Fuckable. Goddamn it,

Cade, turn your dick off. Her eyes dart toward my boxer briefs, but she quickly bends down and starts rummaging through her firstaid kit. “Where did you learn how to pick a lock, Jaden?” Her back stiffens, but she keeps her eyes on the bag. “I didn’t forget what you said to me earlier. I’m just being nice right now.” What? Jaden straightens and takes a step forward. Grabbing her elbow, I drag her another step toward me. Her arm brushes my knee, and her body goes rigid. I lean closer to her ear, I’m close enough that my breath brushes her cheek. “I’m ready to be fixed, doctor.” I slowly recline and open my arms. Jaden narrows her eyes, and then grabs a washcloth from the basket behind her. Holding the cloth underneath the faucet, her dark green eyes never stray from the task at hand. She’s doing a good job at pretending to ignore me, I’ll give her credit. I keep my smile at bay and sit completely still as she

runs the cloth over my lip. It’s warm and stings a bit, but I don’t take my eyes off her. She squirms, and I move closer, leaning into her touch. She’s freaking out, her breath coming faster. She quickly turns, grabs a small ointment bottle, and dabs it on my lip. I dart my tongue out against the medicine. Her eyes watch the quick movement carefully. My lips turn up, and her eyes snap to mine. “Asshole,” she whispers. Before she can pull away, I grab her waist. It fits into my palm nicely. She’s shaking when I pull her toward me. Her hips press into the inside of my thighs. Grabbing her chin, I lean down. She watches my lips, my face. When my lips touch her ear, I swear to God she moans. Holy Hell. My dick tightens in my underwear. The entire sentence that was forming on my lips stops. Damn it, Cade. Right. Focus. “And you’re not just being nice right now, Jaden.” My lips graze her ear. “Because if you were really mad at me, you wouldn’t have come in here with those tight ass yoga pants on. You would have stayed in your room for the rest of the night where you should be. Let’s not start something we can’t finish. It would be a shame to lose my best friend because I want to fuck his little sister until she learns her lesson about testing me,” I whisper, letting my teeth scrape her earlobe. She stays completely still against me for an entire minute, not moving, just standing. Her scent is making it hard to stay still. My fingers tighten around her waist and the

other hand around the edge of the cabinet. Then the door pulls open. Adam is standing on the other side, holding a plate of food and gawking at us. “What are you two doing?” he asks. “What the hell happened to your lip?” My eyes dart toward Jaden. She’s tugging on her first-aid kit. “What’s going on?” Adam demands again. I focus. “Nothing, man. She was just helping me with my lip. I fell out of my truck and hit my mouth on the door. I was fucking drunk.” Still am, I think. Am I? Surely. I’d have to be, right? I know hitting on Jade, or just messing around with her would piss Adam off. I don’t want to piss my best-friend off. What

in the hell is wrong with me? He eyes both of us and then shrugs. “This fucking leftover lasagna is the shit, Jaden. I think we’ve found our new cook. What do you think?” Adam leans against the doorframe. My eyes find hers. She’s blushing and playing with her hair. “I thought it was delicious.” Okay, one more time,

just to see her blush. Her mouth gapes open at me, then snaps shut. “Goodnight,” she says before marching off to her room. “What’s her problem?” I jump from the cabinet. “Women.”

Chapter Six Jaden “Can I please just switch to another class?” God, I’m groveling like a child. My advisor is glaring at her computer over her coke-bottle glasses. Her mousy hair is pulled back with a bright purple ’90s hairband. “Ms. Baker, there isn’t anything I can do. You need Intro to Journalism as an elective, and it is offered at another time but not one that fits your schedule. Unless you want to rearrange your entire schedule. But I advise against that.” She blows her bangs up, placing her interlaced fingers on the desk. I have to get out of that class. It may just be a semester, but I’d do anything to avoid Satan for a semester. “What if I change my major?” Mrs. Kate’s mouth opens and the shock on her face is plain as day. Shame hits me like a hammer to the chest and I drop my eyes down to my lap. How pathetic am I? I would change my entire plan to avoid her. The fear she’s created inside of me was slowly going to take full control of my life. It’d already almost happened before but something pulled me through it. I didn’t want to change my major because I’d always wanted to go into journalism. Taking a huge breath, I lift my gaze to Mrs. Kate and give her a weak smile. “Never mind.

I don’t want to do that. I’ll be okay.” Mrs. Kate frowns and shakes her head. “I’m so sorry, Jaden. Is there a certain reason you don’t want to take this class? The professor? Or a student?” She’s asking with hopeful eyes. But I can’t tell her. It won’t do any good, just like in high school. I have no proof and know no one who could vouch for me. “No ma’am, there isn’t any problem. Thank you for your help.” I grab my bag and head out the door. My classes are over for the day, they actually went okayish. I didn’t get stuck with Selena again, and no one asked me if I was ready to hook up. I take a seat at a picnic table close to the curb by the cafeteria and wait for Adam to pick me up. We have to stop by the store because Adam begged me this morning to fix spaghetti for dinner tonight. Because we all know dinner went so well last night. Ugh. And I only agreed if Adam promised not to beg me to cook every day. He did, but I have my doubts. A couple of runners jog past me. I catch a glimpse of the guy, and he looks like Cade. Damn it, even when I purposely try not to think about him, I do. This guy isn’t as tall as Cade, and his hair is longer. Cade’s hair fits him, short and clean cut, even though he’s covered in tattoos. It would be hot if he wasn’t an arrogant asshole. “Let’s not start something we can’t

finish. It would be a shame to lose my best friend because I want to fuck his little sister until she learns her lesson

about testing me.” Like he just automatically assumes I enjoy the flirting. Familiar laughter jolts me out of my daze. I tense and ease my hood over my head. Hopefully she won’t see me. “Yep, I’d know that ugly jacket anywhere. That’s her,” I hear. No. Not now. Please . Standing, I lean over the picnic table and look for my brother. No sign of him. I head toward the bookstore. It’s a few hundred yards, but it feels like miles. I don’t look back to see if she is following me. I just keep my head forward and quicken my step. When I hear the rocks cracking underneath someone’s weight, I walk even faster. Then I feel cold liquid pour over my scalp, drenching me from head to toe. Before I can think, I hear loud laughter and feet slapping against the pavement. My eyes burn, and my white shirt soaks up the red color. Tears sting my eyes, and I tear off my hood. Two boys in football uniforms run the opposite direction. I recognize one of them as the guy with Selena in class, and the other I’ve never seen before. They meet Selena underneath a tree a few blocks away, and they laugh hysterically as I look through blurry eyes at them. All my memories begin to bang against my head at once. Before I can burst out into a pathetic sob, I grab my bag and push through a group of staring students. It doesn’t even feel like I’m breathing. The long walk

to my apartment doesn’t even faze me. The sun is shining but not drying my clothes. I’m halfway to our apartment when someone pulls up next to me. “Get in, Jaden.” I flinch at the sound of his voice. I do not want to be around him right now. Not like this. Not while I’ve been crying my eyes out, and while I’m covered in crap. “Leave me alone.” I hear a low grumble, and then I’m walking alone again. How could this happen to me? I apologized; it was

an accident. Why is she still tormenting me! Strong arms wrap underneath my knees, then I’m being thrown over Cade’s shoulder. “Let me down!” I slam my hands against his ass and swing my feet in the air. “Kick and scream all you want, baby. I’m used to screaming woman,” he says, before throwing me into his pickup. I sit up and go straight for the door, but he’s already around the truck and pulling me back in. “No you don’t, sweetie. No you don’t. Sit that pretty little ass down.” He buckles me in and immediately starts his truck. Catching my breath, I curl my knees against my chest. “This is kidnapping,” I hiss through my teeth. He snorts and gives me a smart-ass grin “You’re not a kid, and we live in the same place. It’s not kidnapping if I’m taking you home, Jade.” “You said I was a child last night,” I bite out. I don’t know where it came from or even that it bothered me. It shouldn’t. I am a child compared to them. I’m eighteen, and

they’re twenty-two, twenty-three. Hell, I don’t even know. He chuckles. “I didn’t realize you were so worried about what I thought.” “I’m not,” I snap out. “Right,” Cade says. I hear the smile in his voice. “So, you want to tell me why you’re covered in red stuff? Or do you want me to guess? Because I’m having a hard time coming up with anything.” Kool-Aid? Gatorade. I think its Gatorade. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d been drenched like this. My high school football team had tossed leftover Gatorade from their game on me before. “Don’t worry about it.” He drums his fingers against the steering wheel and relaxes into his seat. It’s an old pickup, leather seats but really taken care of. “Cafeteria accident?” Gritting my teeth, I grip my jeans and feel the liquid roll down my legs. “I was walking by the football team and one of the players dumped it on me. He’s in one of my classes. I think he thought I was someone else or thought it would be cute to do it.” Cade taps his chin and gives me a long sideways glance. “It was probably John Adams. The freshman quarterback that’s supposed to blow all of our minds this year. I’ll have to ask him about it.” Shit. Then he’ll think I make up stupid stories. “Why don’t we just drop it, please?” “So, it was a lie,” Cade says, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ll give you this one. You did do a good job with my lip last night.”

My eyes automatically turn toward his lip. There is a small cut on the side but barely noticeable. Then I see his tattoo sticking out from underneath his work shirt. When I glance up, he’s watching me watch him with an amused smile on his face.

Damn him. I turn to the window. My phone buzzes, and I see Adam’s face pop up. “Shit,” I mumble before answering. “Hey, Adam.” “Where in the hell are you, Jade? Are you okay?” “Yes, I’m fine. Cade is giving me a ride.” He huffs harshly into the phone. “You could have told me.” “I know…I know. I had an accident.” “You started your period?” “No, not that kind. Just spilled something on myself.” “Did someone toss it on you?” “No!” I yell into the phone. “Calm down, J. Love you.” “Okay, see you soon. Love you, too.” I press the END button and cram my phone into my jeans pocket. Cade is staring at me when I glance over. “What?” He shrugs. “You need anything from uptown?” I shake my head. “Adam is picking up the stuff for dinner.” “You say it like you don’t want to cook.” “I don’t. I’m a girl, but that doesn’t mean I like to cook. I’m cooking to be nice, and because I have nothing

else to do.” Cade turns down the music and leans against his door. “Really? I would imagine you would have boys lined up with that great personality you have going on.” “Fuck you,” I say before I can stop it. Lifting an eyebrow, his eyes settle on my breasts, then my thighs. “Be careful what you wish for, Princess. You may just get it.” Heat creeps up my cheeks and covers my face. “Shut up,” I whisper. I keep my eyes locked on the window the entire way home. Cade sings along to the radio and drums his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat. *** When we finally get home, I go straight to the shower. I peel off my soaked clothes and toss them in the hamper. The water scorches my skin, but it numbs my thoughts so I don’t care. I scrub myself until I’m burning from the friction of the washcloth. Tears mix with the water, and I can’t tell them apart anymore. I stay until the shower turns cold. After I’m dried off and dressed, I go to the kitchen. Will is in his baseball uniform, leaning against the table with a Gatorade bottle in one hand. He swipes his blond bangs from his forehead and smiles my way. “Ready to start dinner?” Adam shuts the refrigerator. “I got everything,” he says to me. “Need some help?”

“No, I’ve got it.” Walking over to the fridge, I take out the hamburger meat and then grab the noodles from the cabinet. Adam hops onto the counter next to the stove. “So, how did school go today?” Ignoring him, I place the meat in the skillet and the noodles in the pot of boiling water. “Fine,” I say after he stares at me for a few seconds. Will leans against the cabinet beside me. “Getting to your classes okay?” I stiffen at his voice in my ear, but continue to fiddle with the stove. I don’t want to give him any indication that patting my ass and invading my personal space is okay for him. Even though Cade does the same thing. That’s a problem I’m still working out. “Yeah, it’s been fine. I guess.” Adam swings his feet and looks at me over his phone that he pulls out of his pocket. “Dad called me today. You have an appointment tomorrow.” My eyes dart toward Will’s, but I avert them back to the stove. Shit. I knew Dad had said I would still go to my appointments, but I was hoping he’d change his mind. “Okay, can you take me?” Adam shakes his head. “I can’t. I have class. What about you, Will? Can you take her? It’s at two.” Will shakes his head and pulls his shirt to scratch his stomach. “Sorry, Jade. I have class until two and then baseball practice until five.”

I shrug. Another reason why I need my own car. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll call Nancy and see if she can take me.” I start some garlic bread, and finish cooking an hour later. As soon as I set everything on the table, everyone piles in and scoops it onto their plates. God, you’d think

they’d never eaten before. I wait until Will and Adam have filled their plates before making my own. My mouth waters as I dish out the spaghetti and grab a piece of garlic bread. I’m heading toward my room when Adam waves a hand at me. He points toward the couch where Cade is sitting. I didn’t even know he was home. “Eat in here with us.” I eye the seat next to Cade, and he pats it before taking a big forkful of food. I internally groan, but sit down beside him. Will settles his empty plate on the arm of the chair he’s sitting in. “So, we decided that we’re going to have a little get-together tomorrow night.” Get-together? A party? I nibble on my bread and keep my eyes on my plate. Parties and I do not mix. “Just a few upperclassmen and whatnot.” “So, do you want me to leave tomorrow night?” Will barks out a laugh. “Hell no. You’re invited. You live here too, remember?” He gives me one of those smiles that would drop any pair of panties. “You can be my date, if you’re up for it.” My brother makes a coughing sound over his food

and drops his fork against his plate. “I don’t know—” “Oh, come on. It’s not like you can’t go into your room if you get bored. It’ll give you a chance to introduce yourself to some other kids. Dance. Drink. Have fucking fun. You haven’t been to college until you’ve been to one of their parties.” He points toward Adam and Cade. “And who better to throw it than your roommates?” Crossing my ankles, I glance up at Will and nod. “I guess so, sure.” He throws his fist into the air and stands. “It’s a date, then. I have some homework to do. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” He gives me a sexy smile before he disappears into the hallway with his plate of food. My brother growls as soon as he leaves. “You are not his date, do you hear me?” He points at me, and I roll my eyes. “I’m serious, Jaden.” Sighing, I start in on my spaghetti. “Cool your balls, Adam. It’s just a party. You’ll be here, too.” Adam turns the TV on. “Yeah, but I’m planning on getting some puss—ass tomorrow night. I can’t babysit you with Will.” I slam my fork down onto my plate. “Then don’t. I’ll be fine. I’m eighteen, not three, Adam.” A scoff from beside me aggravates me. “Something funny?” I ask Cade. His plate is resting on his knees that are spread wide, both arms lying against the back of the couch. “Nothing funny, kid. You must want to go with him,

huh?” He isn’t smiling. It looks like an honest question, but I don’t answer. I don’t want to go with Will, but better him than no one. “Well,” I say, tossing my napkin onto my plate, “it doesn’t really matter either way, now does it? Because it isn’t any of your business.” I push to my feet. “I’m going to bed. See you guys tomorrow.”

Chapter Seven Jaden “I can’t come get you today. Eric is having surgery on his collarbone. Darn boy went and broke it in football. I wish I had girls,” Nancy sighs. Hearing her voice almost sends me into a fit of tears. “It’s okay, Nancy. I’ll get someone to take me.” “How are things?” “Okay,” I lie. “Okay…now tell me how things really are. Did you forget who you were talking to, girlie?” I smile into the phone and sit on the edge of my bed, watching my feet sway over the carpet. “I love my room,” I change the subject. “I knew you would. It took me five stores to find that Paris picture.” I glance above my desk at the huge Eiffel tower. “It’s gorgeous. I can’t wait to go. I’ve almost saved enough from taking out tiny portions from my allowance from Dad. I’m thinking summer in Paris.” Alone. All alone. Alone in Paris. Those words do not fit together…ever. She laughs. “I’m so happy for you. I hope you get to go, sweetie. So, are you going to tell me how things really are?” Damn. I tug on the end of my braid. “She’s here. In my class.”

Silence. Then Nancy makes a small sound that I don’t recognize. “I thought she was going to Florida or some other bitchy university.” I keep my laugh at bay. Nancy doesn’t cuss a lot, but it’s always hilarious when she does. “I guess not.” “Are you okay? Has she done anything to you? You know I’ll come up there if she is bullying you again. I won’t toler—” “No, it’s fine,” I lie. “I’m just nervous and overdramatizing it. I’ll be fine.” “Okay,” she says carefully. “Oh, crap. Here comes Eric, sweetie. Can we talk later? Maybe meet up for dinner next week?” “I’d love that.” “I love you, Jaden. Call me if you need anything.” “I will.” Lie. “Love you, too.” I press the END button and glare helplessly at my door. I hear the music vibrating from Cade’s room. I really didn’t want to ask him, but I see no other option. Slipping into some boots, I tug on a knitted pink hat and walk across the hallway. My appointment starts soon, and I don’t have long to get there. I knock a couple of times and listen. The door swings open, and he leans against the frame. His big shoulders take up most of the space. He’s smiling when I meet his eyes. “Are you busy?” He taps his chin. “Depends. What do you want? To

come inside my room? To make out?” He grins. “To have some fun?” he whispers, and I don’t think anyone has ever said that word so sexily before. “I can unbusy myself for that.” Heat stains my cheeks. A low, deep heat settles in my core. “No,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I needed a ride to…um.” A finger touches beneath my chin and Cade drags my face to look at him. “A ride to where, Jaden?” With parted lips, I squirm. “Um, to my appointment.” He lifts an eyebrow and quickly drops his hand. “Are you pregnant?” “What? No! How, Immaculate Conception?” A loud laugh leaves his throat, and my entire body shivers. He tosses his head back and then leans down to look at me, giving me the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen. There is hesitation in the way he stops several inches away from me, but those eyes show no hesitation in mentally undressing me. “Are you saying you’re a virgin? Or that it’s been awhile?” God, my cheeks are probably screaming look at me! “I’m not a virgin,” I snap out. Cade lifts an eyebrow, the corner of his lip slowly dragging upwards. “Really?” He steps forward, all the hesitation from earlier vanishes. “So, somebody’s already touched you here,” he says, trailing five fingers across the sensitive skin of my hip to the palm of my ass, before squeezing me.

Is this really happening? I can’t even breathe. Jolts of heat scorch my core, a sopping wetness building between my legs. I want to tell him to step away, to give me more space—but for some reason, I don’t want him to. Something inside of me is daring me to take a step closer to him, but I don’t. I can’t move. He watches me from under heavylidded eyes, his jaw tightens, and he lets go like he just realized what he was doing. “I’ll give you a ride. Let me get ready.” I stare at his door while I wait for him to come out. When he finally rounds the corner, he’s holding a cigarette between his teeth while he tries to light it. I follow him to his pickup and settle in my little corner against the passenger-side door. I give him directions quickly and we drive for a few minutes before speaking again. “Ready for the party tonight?” he asks. Clearly he is being a smart-ass. There is no mistaking the aggravation in his voice. “Not that it’s any of your business. But, yes, I’m actually excited.” He jerks his gaze to mine and gives me a look I can’t pinpoint. Both hands are wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, and his cigarette hangs lifelessly from his full lips. “Excited?” he echoes. Anger rises from my throat. What does he think I’m

too young to go? Or that he’ll have to watch over me like a child? “Yes,” I snap. “I’m ready to have a night to do

nothing. Just to drink and have fun. Sue me.” His green eyes narrow, and then he turns his gaze back to the road. “Well, I hope Will shows you a good time then.” He takes a long drag and tosses it out the window. “I’m sure he will,” I say under my breath. “What was that?” he asks. “Nothing.” He speeds into an open parking space and slams on the brakes. “I’ll be back in an hour. They’re an hour, right?” Humiliation burns my throat. He knows exactly what kind of appointment this is. Grabbing my purse, I nod. “Yes.” I step out of the truck and watch as he speeds away like a bat out of hell. Whatever. *** “How are you feeling today, Jaden?” I keep my mouth shut and my eyes focused on the photo of Dr. James and her family facing outward on her desk. It makes me feel like she’s an actual person and not someone that gets paid shitloads of money to listen to people. After the incident, my father didn’t hesitate signing me up for therapy. Since my dad is a psychologist it was easy for him to find me a good doctor to talk to. As long as it’s not him, I don’t give a shit. Dr. James is an older woman with big brown eyes, a

small face, and lots of dyed blond hair. “Jaden?” she asks again. “How are you feeling?” “Fine.” She nods, wrapping her interlocked fingers around her crossed knee. “You started classes this week, correct?” I nod. “How are they going?” I bring my eyes to hers. She’s watching me closely, like she may miss something very important. “The girl that tortured me in high school decided to come to my college,” I say. I’ve talked to Dr. James a few times. I mean really talked to her. I never feel necessarily better, but I can always breathe easier. As badly as I try to block it out, I feel the overwhelming feeling that the air is leaving the room. Every bad memory of Selena is crushing me. Why is she

here? She nods. “This frightens you?” “Yes. More than anything in my life, it frightens me. All the abuse I went through in high school. All the fucking shit I went through.” Cradling my chest, I lean down and put my head between my knees. Breathe, Jaden. Breathe. My head spins and everything rushes back to me. Every single moment of my life crashes against me. ***

The bell had just rung, but I still sat in my desk,

pretending to gather my things. My hair hid my face, but everyone knew who I was. They all talked as they filed out of the classroom. My teacher never questioned why I took so long, but I’m sure she knew. Everyone knew. A few lingering people were scattered across the hallway, but I eased down the aisle quickly, stopping at my locker. My fingers shook as I turned the black dial. 56, 60, 4. I picked up my books and switched them out. After closing my locker, I grabbed my backpack and darted down the south hall toward AP Chemistry. My day had gone by decently. I hadn’t had any Selena encounters. And only one person had thrown paper at my head in class. My fingers clutched the strap of my book bag. My feet were light, careful not to draw attention. Only a few stragglers rushed to their classrooms around me. The L-shaped hallway was long and had alcoves between restrooms and lockers. I took the curve to the right and heard her. She was a few lockers down with a group of cheerleaders. They were hanging banners over the lockers with a ladder. Before any of them could see me, I slid into one of the alcoves and raised my hood. I buried my head into the corner of the alcove and prayed they didn’t find me. Please, not this time.

I waited a few minutes until I couldn’t hear them anymore. Stepping out, I saw nothing. Emptiness was becoming my favorite feeling. I turned and made my way down the hallway. AP Chemistry was just a few doors down. My heart pounded in my throat, and just as my hand wrapped around the handle, I felt something hit the side of my head, knocking me to the floor. The burning ache starts to claw at my head as I lay helplessly staring at the ceiling, my vision blackening in and out. I heard voices screaming, and then emptiness shut it all out. An aching burn pounded at the base of my skull when I finally opened my eyes. Dad leaned over me, his lips pressed into a hard line. He’d been crying. Tears stained his cheeks. “Sweetie, are you okay?” he asked, rubbing his finger over my hand. Was I? What had happened? “Why am I in the nurses’ office?” Dad frowned. “Someone hit you in the hallway at school today. Do you remember what happened?” Hit me? Knocked me out? My brain strained to understand, to remember, and then everything slammed back into me, knocking the breath from my lungs. “Someone hit me from the side. I didn’t see who it was.” Sobs broke through my lips, and I cradled my face in my palms. “Shh, Jaden. We’ll get this taken care of. I promise.”

It didn’t happen. No one owned up to the crimes and no one talked. Not that I expected any different. And at school the following week…it only got worse. *** “Jaden,” Dr. James says, snapping her finger in front of my face. I jerk back and blink, my surroundings slowly coming back. “I’m fine,” I say, relaxing into my chair. “I’m fine.” She has a worried look on her face, but she leans back and crosses her legs. “Is there anything else you would like to talk about? Anything else happening in your life? How has moving in with your brother been for you?” Clenching my fingers around my chair arm, I bite my lip. “Umm, it’s fine. Just my brother, Adam, Will and…Cade,” I say. Why is his name so hard to say? God, I hate thinking about him. I just want to stop. Dr. James studies me for a few moments, before smiling. “Do you like your new roommates?” No. Yes. Fuck, yes. “They’re fine.” She barely lifts her eyebrow but jots down a few things before placing her notebook on her desk. “Time’s up,” she says, getting to her feet. “We have another appointment next week.” She pulls me into a hug. “If you need anything before then, call me, and we’ll make an emergency appointment.” “Okay.” “But before you go…have you…” He eyes dart

toward my wrist. “Have you been thinking about it? Having any bad thoughts?” All the time. But I never do it. Not since my life was taken away from me because of it. “No, I haven’t.” She gives me a sweet smile and pats my shoulder. “Good. Until next time.” *** Cade is sitting in the front parking lot when I walk out of the building. I feel better since I’ve talked but not enough to say it helped. Despite my better judgment, I get into his truck. Cade doesn’t look at me, just starts the engine and reverses out of the parking lot. Something is off about the way he is avoiding me but I don’t mention it. We ride in silence, the radio lightly playing in the background. Cade’s mumbling to himself, but I don’t ask what about. “Last night I shouldn’t have done or said those things to you. I shouldn’t have said that today either. It was a mistake, I was drunk. I won’t let it happen again. I promise.” Everything around me seems so far away. Did he

really say that? The dryness in my mouth keeps me from commenting back. I just keep my eyes glued outside. What

does he expect me to say to him? “Okay?” he asks after a few minutes. I don’t answer. I watch the trees pass by in a blur of green and red. I try to derail my thoughts and forget that he’s ashamed he flirted with me. It’s way harder than it

looks. Utah is pretty this time of year. “Goddam it, Jade! Fucking say something!” Cade shouts. Jumping, I swivel around to look at him. His cheeks are red and his jaw is clamped tight. “What the heck do you want me to say, Cade? I’m not deaf; I heard you. I’m not your type. I don’t arouse you. You shouldn’t have tried to force it. Okay. I get it.” I recoil back into the corner, not knowing where the frick that came from. Cade’s eyes narrow, and his mouth opens like he wants to say something but he snaps it shut before anything comes out. We pull into the parking lot, and it couldn’t have been sooner. I’m out of the car and rounding the second floor landing before Cade starts to catch up. I listen to the rhythm of his boots pounding against each step, as I start up the last flight of stairs. My legs can’t take me to my room faster. I’m too embarrassed to look at him right now. I swing around the railing onto the third floor, and Cade grabs my arms, pinning me against the railing. The metal rail digs into my lower back. Cade stares down at me, eyes hooded, a snarl on his face. A heavy soap scent engulfs me and sends my nerves soaring high. The muscles in his biceps flex as he takes a step closer, placing his arms on either side of me, his large fingers wrapping around the metal next to my waist. His thumb traces a soft circle against my hip bone,

moving the cloth of my shirt so he can touch my skin. Need swarms me, but I keep it at bay, watching him watch me through those long lashes. “You think I don’t find you attractive, Jade?” he asks, his voice brushing against every possible square inch of me. His eyes trace my lips, then down to my small chest. And even though I know he likes big boobs, something about the way he studies me convinces me that he would love to take my shirt off and suck them. “Why would you?” I whisper close to his lips. He frowns, bringing one finger up to trace my bottom lip. Slowly he touches the sensitive skin, while his other hand grips my waist tightly with his huge palm. “You’re a tempting little ass, aren’t you?” he whispers, more to himself than to me. “Those pouty lips that you’re always gnawing on. Your smart mouth.” The hand touching my lip cups my jaw and forces me to look at him, while he watches me like a predator. “Or those reddened cheeks. The way your ass has that natural curve of your back, down to perfect cheeks,” he whispers against my skin, trailing his palm to my backside. His wide hand stretches out over my ass, pulling me all the way to him. I gasp, all rational thought escaping my mind. Squeezing me, he growls, trailing his nose against the curve of my neck, letting the tips of his lips graze against me. Smelling me. Almost tasting me. I grip his shirt, shakily holding on for dear life. If it weren’t for the railing behind me, I would have fallen. “Jesus Christ,” he moans into my ear, pulling me

closer still. He makes a throaty laugh and takes a step back. His eyes are dark, his chest rising and falling in powerful jabs. “Go to your room, Jaden. Now.” I don’t question him. He’s hot and bothered. There is no erasing that image. There is no getting it out of my head, and I know for a fact that I’ve been ruined. No one will ever turn me on like him. No one will ever make my body melt with just one word. One second. One look. And even though he rides my nerves, I want him. There is no denying how badly he wants me. A large bulge protesting against his jeans shows me everything I need to know. But at the same time, he won’t touch me more than what he already has. Anger floods my throat, but I push it down. There is so much going on in my head but my body is craving him. It makes sense that he’s trying to stay away from me for Adam’s sake but I’m not worried about Adam. I don’t care what he approves of and what he doesn’t. Getting mad at Cade will never work, but making him see what he’s missing will—maybe. I have to make him take that chance. Make him want me as much as I want him. Help him take down the wall my brother built to divide us. I’m going to fucking demolish it. I turn and walk slowly up the stairs, swishing my hips as my pace increases. When I look back down, Cade is holding onto the rails, with his head hung low between his arms. ***

My brother is out getting beer. He says no college party is a party unless there’s a keg stand. I’m taking his word for it. The little black dress I’m wearing is short…way shorter than I usually wear. My legs look good in it, and it’s tight to my ass—because I know Cade likes it. He hasn’t said anything to me since we got home. Not even as we ate the Hamburger Helper I made. I’m not sure if he is ever going to look at me again and it worries me but I have to try. I glance at my wall mirror and examine the lines of my face. I’d once felt so pretty and now all I can see are the things everyone pointed out. The things that taunted me. A knock thumps against my door, and it drives Cade from my thoughts. I start panicking. I hear the people outside; it seems like quite a few people are already here. Will is leaning against the doorframe when I walk over, his blond hair brushed out of his dark eyes. “Well, doesn’t someone look gorgeous,” he says, bending down to kiss my cheek. His Abercrombie—or something as deliciously amazing—scent trails over me, sending goose bumps against my flesh. Shutting the door behind him, he watches as I grab my wedges. He’s holding a beer in one hand, and a blue martini glass in the other. “This is for you,” he says, offering me the liquor. I take it, letting the fruity drink scorch my throat. “Umm,” I whisper. “What is this?” “A hurricane. It’s pretty stout.” I smile. “Good.” Maybe some alcohol will settle my

nerves.

He smiles, raking his hand through his hair and eyeing me as I slip into my shoes. “We ready?” I ask. He offers me his hand. “We’re definitely ready.”

Chapter Eight Jaden There are at least fifty people crammed into our apartment. Probably more. Will wraps his arm around my waist, guiding me toward the kitchen. My brother is standing in front of the keg, helping hold a guy upside down. They’re all shouting Chug! Chug! Chug! When Adam drops him, he stumbles against the cabinet and laughs hysterically. “Hey! There’s my sister! My fucking sister is here!” Adam screams, running toward me and pulling me to his side. “You having fun?” he screams over the music, leaning down to my ear. The smell of alcohol on his breath hits me hard, and I push against his chest. “Get your nasty beer breath off of me.” Will laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pushing Adam out of the way. Adam doesn’t even think twice before jumping back over to the keg. I know he’s drunk if he’s letting Will put his arm around me. But I don’t think about it. My second drink is starting to make my legs numb. I’d been sipping cautiously for the past thirty minutes. Cade hadn’t even left the living room since Will and I made it into the kitchen. So much for my mega plan to win Cade’s attention. I let my head rest against Will’s shoulder, not something I’d just normally do.

This alcohol is working better than I thought. A few seconds later, he leans down close to my ear.

“Want to dance, sweetheart?” He gives me his best pantydropping smile. “Sure.” Will leads me through the kitchen and into the living room. The table has been pushed back into a corner, leaving a large space in the middle of the floor. A portable table is in the corner, with four guys huddled around it playing cards. My eyes lock with a pair of light green ones. Cade has a cigarette hanging from his lips. His light eyes are on Will’s hands, which happen to be on my waist, pulling my ass against his front. The music is fast, and I sway without even thinking about it. My hands rise over my head, and I push back against Will, who wraps his arms tighter around me. I feel Will’s hardness pressing against me, but I barely care with the hard eyes burning into the side of my head. A couple bumps into me, sending us turning and laughing. When Will wraps his hand around my upper thigh, I freeze. His fingers trail up the hem of my dress and caress softly. Slowly, I get the nerve to look up. Cade’s eyes are fixed on Will’s hand as Will grinds against me. Cade’s lips tighten on his cigarette and a card crumples in his hand. One of the other players nudges his ribs, and Cade looks back down at the deck and plays. Then his eyes are back on us, holding my gaze. Screw him. I can dance with Will if I want. He isn’t volunteering to dance with me, so what the hell is it to him? “You’re a good dancer,” Will slurs into my ear. He’s

been drinking a lot. Not that I haven’t been. I’ve already sucked down my second drink, and I’m starting to feel dizzy. “Want another drink?” A third one? Why not? The more liquid courage the better, right? Cade was staring at me, and I knew he’d been watching our every move. Against my better judgment, I nod. “Sure. I’m going to go to the bathroom really quick.” Will bends, leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek. Before he can try again, I dodge my way through the crowd of swaying people and shut the bathroom door behind me. It smells like vomit in here. Of course, my bathroom would be the one used for parties since Will’s is on the other side of the apartment. I redo my eyeliner. It’s been so long since I’ve drank. Or got dressed up. It’s nice to feel like I used to before everything. Before— The door swings open, and I stumble backwards. I forgot to lock it but before I can scream, it slams shut behind Cade. He’s been drinking. Definitely drinking. I smell it on his breath, which is suddenly really close to my mouth. “Jaden, Jaden, Jaden,” he whispers, taking a step forward to trap me between his wall of muscle and the cabinet. “What are you doing out there?” he asks against my neck. It feels like a dust storm in my mouth: dry and rough. “What are you talking about?” I struggle out. He chuckles under his breath, trailing his lips against my neck but never actually touching me. “Why are you

dancing like that with Will? Your brother is going to be pissed.” “My brother or you?” The liquid courage is definitely working. His head hovers above my shoulder, and then his teeth graze against my skin. “Don’t you ever try to make me jealous again, Jaden. Do you understand me?” His breath heats my skin, and he bites me again. Then his tongue slides over my skin. Holy mother—my breath catches in my throat. Bending down, he grabs my leg—the one that Will had touched—and drags me up onto the counter. He’s still leaning against his palms, but he stands straight. I’m straddling him in the bathroom, his gaze hard on mine. His other hand hasn’t uncurled from around my thigh. He squeezes, making every piece of me yearn for him. His lips rest against my ear. “I want to hear you say it. Tell me you won’t try to make me jealous again, Jaden.” Before I can focus my thoughts he bends down between my legs and presses my knees open wider. I grip the counter’s edge. He places a soft kiss on the inside of my upper leg, then trails his tongue over the place where Will touched me. “I don’t want Will to put his hands on you again,” he says. “Why?” He growls, grabbing my jaw and keeping me still. His green eyes darken, while his fingertips trail down my spine. “Don’t tempt me. My self-control isn’t nearly as strong as you think it is. And neither one of us want to make

Adam mad,” he says, nipping my bottom lip. I nearly jump up and grab him. Bring him down to me, taste that mouth I’m dying to taste, but he backs away. Wide shoulders rise and fall quickly, tension tightening his lower abs. “And put on some motherfucking clothes.” Then he turns and leaves. I sit on the counter, listening to someone beat their fist against the bathroom door. My underwear is damp against me, my legs weak from his touch. How dare he tell me what to do? But I didn’t dare say it. I couldn’t make my brain connect with my mouth. Everything was focused on his words. His breath. Those large hands and…his fucking mouth.

Damn it. Staggering off the cabinet, I swing the door open. A guy is standing in front of me, a beer in one hand, the other tight at his side. “About fucking time. Shit.” He pushes me out of the way. My drunkenness isn’t completely gone but my brain is able to focus. I see my brother lifting a wasted girl up on the keg, chanting with the rest of the small group. A group of guys are watching two girls make out next to the dining room entrance. Will is sitting in the living room talking with a group of guys, my cup resting against his knee. I debate going to sit by him, but realize I know no one else and finally cave. Sliding beside him, I take the cup and down half of it, squeezing my eyes shut as the liquid

burns down my throat. “You okay?” Will asks. I give him a small smile. “Yep.” We sit and talk to a few guys for a long while. The soberness is vanishing again. I’m getting drunker and drunker, my body weightless against the couch. Will’s arm is around my shoulders now, and he’s whispering in my ear. I don’t recoil because it feels nice to be touched. To be talked to. “Let me get you to your room,” Will says after a while. I don’t object because I can barely see to take a step in front of me. The music is still playing, but it’s lower than before. Will’s hands find me and halfway carry me to my room. Leaning me against his shoulder, he opens my door and carries me inside. He stops after a few steps. He’s talking to someone, but I can’t tell who it is. All I can see is his strong jaw. I reach up and touch it, but then I’m being transferred to someone else’s arms. Stronger arms. Wider. Bigger.

Cade. I begin to swing my arms. He is not to touch me, not after the bathroom incident. He’s not going to hold me after he left me high and dry. “Get me back to Will,” I slur out. I hear a laugh and then I’m being tucked underneath my covers. Before I can think, I’m drowning in a sea of black.

Chapter Nine Cade Something feels off. I’m in a bed, but not my bed. The white sheets are bunched around my waist, and an ass is against my dick. A tight, round ass from what I can tell. Opening one eye, I see Paris and London…and a shitload of grays and whites. Fuck. Suddenly I’m awake, sitting up, and staring down at Jaden. She’s pressed against me, one tanned leg sticking out of the covers and one arm hanging over the side of her bed. Everything from last night swarms back. Will had gotten her drunk and was carrying her to bed. Like a fucking knight in shining armor. But I know better. It took some talking, but I got him to leave. Then she asked for him, and I could have thrown him out the window. Jesus, did I really kiss her thigh? Seeing him touch her made me mad. We can’t touch Adam’s little sister like that. And that’s the only thing I think about when I’m around her. I know I’m on thin ice with her, but I want her. I tell Will to back off, but I’m doing the same damn thing. I’ve got to get a grasp on this before it gets out of control. It’s almost impossible to stay away from her. Putting something so irritably sexy right in front of me, dangling her like meat in front of a starving dog. Now I’m lying in her

bed…naked. I’m guessing I got hot last night. Leaning over her, I see my jeans in a pile next to her bed. All because some douche was passed out in my bed. And I refuse to sleep with Adam or Will. I do not sleep with dudes. Ever. Period. And how could I have turned down a night on this mattress? I swear, it feels like I’m sleeping on air. I was drunk. Yep, drunk. That’s my story, and I’m fucking sticking to it. A soft moan escapes her lips, and she turns to face me. One eye peeks open and then the other. A worried look crosses her face, and then she jumps up, falling to the floor, her feet tangled in the sheet. “Shit,” she says, before standing. She searches herself, and then looks up at me, fisting her shirt. “Why are you in my bed? And why the hell are you naked?” She points to my hip, visible through her white sheet. Watching her turn red, I slide to a sitting position. Her eyes widen. I don’t bother covering myself before I stand. The sheet falls from my waist. Jaden’s eyes jerk to my morning wood and then back to my face. She bites the inside of her lip. “You b-better start talking, Cade. Did we…?” A smile tugs the corner of my mouth, and I lift an eyebrow. “No, baby,” I say, sliding my jeans on. “Because if we had, you wouldn’t be able to walk right now.” Placing her hands on her hips, she narrows her eyes at me. “Why am I in my underwear? I don’t remember getting undressed. In fact, I don’t remember most of what

happened last night.” She rubs her temples with two fingers. “I have a massive headache.” Stretching, I eye her legs. “You’re half naked because I took the liberty of undressing you last night.” And how fucking amazing it was, pulling her out of that dress, and then unsnapping her bra. Goddamn, I wanted to take advantage, but I didn’t. I dug through her drawers, then helped her into a long T-shirt. “You didn’t…” she whispers, looking at the ground. “You had no right to undress me.” I roll my eyes. “You don’t have anything I haven’t had in the past, sweetie. Don’t get yourself worked up.” I zero in on her legs. “But I have to say, slipping that dress over that ass was…tempting.” Pressing her lips into a line, she turns away from me. “Get out of my room. Right now. Out.” She points like she’s the fucking Queen of England. But I’m not done just yet. Grabbing the back of her neck, I force her to look up at me. “You said you don’t remember much of last night? Do you remember what we talked about in the bathroom?” Her eyes widen, and she gently tugs on her lip, nodding. “Good.” I hear her cuss under her breath on my way out. *** The goddamn house looks like a tornado hit it. Someone is

lying facedown in my bed. I groan and snatch the covers off the guy who is snoring loudly. “Hey, get the fuck out of my bed. I don’t care where you go, but you’ve got to get out of here.” He sits straight up and rubs his fists against his eyes. I’ve seen him around campus before. “What the…” He stops and stares at me. “This is your bed?” “You’re a bright one.” “I’m leaving. Don’t beat my ass.” He stands and grabs his clothes on the floor beside my bed. Before I can say anything else, he rushes out of my room. My sheets are sweaty and it looks like he may have thrown up on them. I pick up my mom’s clothes and my sweaty sheets and walk to the laundry room. The condo is quiet since it’s only eleven. I don’t think Will or Adam gets up before eleven except for class—ever. My mother’s clothes smell like shit. If I didn’t wash them once a week they’d never get clean. Groaning, I divide her clothes into different piles and wash the whites first. *** Just like I suspected, Will and Adam are both asleep. My stomach growls, and I run my fingers over my face. I don’t feel like cooking. I just want to relax. Making my way to the kitchen, I stop when I see Jaden putting eggs onto two different plates. “What?” she says, placing the eggs and bacon back

into the fridge. She’s still in her T-shirt, and her legs look good. I’d do anything to spread them apart and taste her, but I don’t. I can’t. I’m promising myself to leave her alone. She’s eighteen and vulnerable. “Who is that for?” She slams her small hands down on her hips. “You. Do you see anyone else standing around?” I lift an eyebrow. She’s getting more and more brazen. I reach behind her and grab the plate. Letting my ear rest against her cheek, I say, “Thank you, Jaden.” *** My mother’s car is parked in the same spot. The weeds on her tires are taller and thicker. I guess I’ll have to come back to mow it soon. Stomping my cigarette out, I grab her laundry basket and walk to the door. There is an old pickup in the driveway and it worries me. Mom never has company. A loud banging sound echoes from inside. “Momma!” I yell, grabbing the knob, but it’s locked. I bang my fist against the door until it shakes. Damn it. “Momma!” I yell again, and this time I hear voices. A man’s voice. Clenching my fist over the laundry basket handle, I lean back and kick my boot against the door. For the first few kicks, the door doesn’t budge. Then it cracks and swings open.

Finally. The same disgusting smell hits me hard, but I ignore

it. Some of the lights are on. The banging is coming from my mother’s bedroom. I can’t get there fast enough. I slam the door open and stop dead in my tracks. A huge man holds my mother by her neck, his thick fingers suffocating the life out of her. Even my deadbeat dad didn’t hit my mother. “I suggest you drop her, or you’re going to have a hard time picking your big ass off the motherfucking floor,” I say as calmly as I can manage. The man’s head jerks to me. A scar runs down the side of his face and disappears beneath his shirt. He looks me up and down with dark eyes. A sinister smile rises from the corner of a mouth that’s covered by a massive mustache. “What are you going to do about it, kid?” he asks, his voice rough. My mother gasps, her arms shaking against his chest. Lifting a brow, I set her clothes to the side. The burly man throws my crying mother on the bed. She recoils in a ball, sobbing into the mattress. Turning toward me, he plasters a sneer on his lips. “Your mother owes me money.” My mother’s gaze meets mine. “So you strangle her?” I ask, taking a cautious step toward him. “Seems a little…caveman-ish to me. How will she pay you if she’s dead?” The floor squeaks as he steps forward. “I’m not leaving here until I have my money, kid. I suggest you leave.” “I would ask you if you’d leave your mother, but I’m not sure you give a rat’s ass about her. I’m not leaving, no

matter the consequences.” He grins. And he’s still smiling when I connect my fist to his face. This isn’t my first fight and won’t be my last. The sound cracks but doesn’t break the bone. Stumbling toward the bed, he catches himself with his big arm. I can imagine the stars swirling in his vision right now, and I give him a swift kick to the ribs before he can fully focus. He jerks back, crumpling into a tight ball. “You have ten seconds to leave before I beat you to a pulp and call the police. Don’t come back,” I warn. The man tries to stand but falls back to the floor. One hand is curled around his ribs, the other wrapped tightly in his hair. Dammit. Grabbing his upper arm, I haul him to his feet. With barely any effort, I walk him to the door and toss him out. “This isn’t over,” he says, stumbling down the stairs. “Says the man crawling for his life. Fuck off.” I wait until he’s on his feet and halfway down the sidewalk before going back inside. She’s still curled into a ball on her bed. “Get up,” I say. “Now. You’re taking a shower.” She doesn’t protest. She’s quiet while she digs some clean clothes out of the basket. “How much do you owe him?” “Does it matter?” she asks, slipping out of her slippers. “How much?” “Three hundred,” she whispers. God, three hundred dollars? Shit. I’ll have to work

three days of overtime for this. Her lips turn down. “Go take a bath,” I say. She leaves, walking slowly across the hall where she shuts the bathroom door. I toss the clothes on her bed and start folding. Then I make the bed and pick up all the trash. *** The kitchen is a fucking wreck. I groan. I don’t even wash the dishes at my own apartment, but I wash hers. With the dishes in the drainer, I make some tea. “You don’t have to take care of me, Cade. I am an adult.” “Well, if you’d act like one I wouldn’t have to.” I hand her a cup. She sits down at the dining room table and touches the rim to her lips. Her hair is twisted into a towel on top of her head. It reminds me of how she used to be before Dad left and before the drugs consumed her. I only remember a bit before she started doing drugs, but it was nice while it lasted. “I don’t know how I let myself get like this,” she says into her cup. “I’m a terrible person. A terrible mother.” She turns to me, her eyes wide. “Why can’t I stop?”

You’re addicted. It’s a disease. You have to get help. I’ve answered this question with those answers for as long as I can remember. But it happens the same way every single time. She will say she wants to stop. She’ll beg me to give her another chance. Sign her up for rehab. She promises. But she never goes.

“You’re addicted. You have to get help, Momma.” Nodding, she sets her tea down and leans her elbows on her knees. “Okay, son. I’m ready.”

Chapter Ten Jade My palms sweat against the kitchen table. The breakfast I made is now on all three roommates’ plates, but my own hasn’t been touched. “You not going to eat?” Will asks from across the table. He gives me his best bedroom smile. Placing his fork into his mouth, he pulls it out slowly, keeping his eyes on me. “Not very hungry¸” I say. A snort comes from the kitchen. Cade smiles as he leans against the cabinet, ankles crossed while shoveling food into his mouth. It would disgust me if he didn’t have that tight shirt on, which grips his biceps. “Or because you may throw it up like last week.” Adam lifts his head and furrows his dark brow. “You threw up?” Dammit. I give Cade my best go to hell look. “I was just nervous.” Adam leans closer to me. “Have you had any more symptoms? The medication. Ya know—” “No,” I snap, standing and grabbing my plate. I feel Will and Cade staring at me. “I haven’t.” Adam frowns and leans back in his chair. “Jade, I was just asking, calm down.” “I am calm,” I say, trying to keep my eyes on the floor

as I walk to the kitchen. Cade’s gaze is heavy on the side of my face as I grab a Coke from the refrigerator and toss my plate into the sink. “Can you take me to class?” I ask my brother. Adam gives me a worried look before sighing and grabbing his keys. *** He taps his fingers to the beat against his steering wheel. “You know it’s okay to not be okay, right? I want you to know you can talk to me.” Right. Because the first thing he’ll do is tell Dad. Dad just sends me to doctors who push more pills down my throat. I don’t need pills. I’m not sure what I need, but all the medication I’m already on isn’t good for me or my body. “I know, Adam.” He nods. “Okay.” Adam drops me off at the arts center since I have journalism this morning. I’m fifteen minutes early so I can get a seat in the back away from everyone. All the seats are empty when I walk in. I take the first row against the wall and the last seat in the back. My fingers tremble as I open my notebook and pull out my pencil. A few kids filter in and take seats closer to the front. My heart jackhammers as I watch the clock move closer to 11:10 a.m. Selena walks in two minutes later. Her eyes rake over the students, and I know she’s looking for me. Like she always did. Her sneer rises slowly up her face

when she finally spots me. Our professor comes in a few minutes later, carrying an armload of things. With a loud sigh, she drops the materials on her desk. “Okay, students. We’re going to go over chapter one today, so let’s take notes.” She talks the entire period, pacing in front of the classroom, her hands folded behind her back. I’m turning the page when I feel something hit the side of my head. My body stiffens at the contact. A paper wad falls to the carpeted floor beside my foot. Snickers sound from the front left of the classroom. An ink spot starts to bleed over my notes, and I slowly remove my pen from the paper. Only ten more minutes. Our professor is smiling at the overhead like she’s proud of herself when she jolts up like she’s been asleep. “Time’s up. Do the questions at the end of the chapter for homework and read chapter two. We’ll be going over it Wednesday in class.” Finally. I sling my bag over my shoulder and dart to the exit. The guy in front of me takes his time, blocking the door while he tries to throw his paper into the wastebasket. I don’t look behind me, but I can feel the stares. And hear her whispering. As soon as my foot breaks the barrier of the doorway something shoves into me from behind. My foot snags on the doorframe, sending me face first into the doorknob. Everything in my bag scatters into the hallway, while I fall to the ground. I automatically clutch my eye and press down at the ache. Stars form in my vision and black

threatens the corners. I can’t tell who is in front of me or if anyone is trying to help. The person behind me passes, laughing over her shoulder. It’s the redhead who’s been following Selena around. She glances over her shoulder with a look I wish I never had to see again. The same look from senior year all over again. I try to blink my eye open, but all I see is black. “Jaden, are you okay?” “I’m fine,” I whisper, getting up with the help of the door. My eyes tear up as the next class filters in, all staring me down. “Jaden? It’s Will. Can you see?” Will? Oh, God. I stare up at him. He’s frowning, rubbing his hand over his head. “Do you need some help? A ride?” My eye is burning, but I’m not asking him for help, I have too much pride for that. “I’m fine. Adam is coming to get me.” Lie. “I’ll see you at the house.” He opens his mouth to say something, but finally just nods. “Okay, see you at the house.” He turns and walks down the hallway, past the group of girls who are pointing and staring at me. Selena isn’t laughing. She’s watching Will walk away from me. I don’t wait to see what she does, I turn and run. *** A book digs into my back, so I shift against the bookcase. My legs are under my chin, hands by my side. Only a few

students are on the third floor in the library, and most are in the study rooms in groups. I can feel my eye swelling, but I can’t call Adam early because he’ll know this wasn’t an accident. Waiting it out is my only option. Pulling out my compact, I try to steady my shaky hands. A dark bruise forms under my eye, redness skimming the outsides. No. No. No. One single tear slides down my cheek and drops to the library carpet. “Jaden?” Shit. The compact slips from my hand and snaps closed against the floor. When I glance up, Cade is staring down at me with a furrowed brow. His lips are pressed into a tight line while he watches my face. “What are you doing here?” “It’s the library, what do you think? What happened to you?” “I tripped into a doorknob.” Lifting his eyebrow, he squats in front of me. Firm fingers grab my chin and turn my face to the left for a better look. “Bullshit. It’s too bruised. It wouldn’t be this dark if you tripped. Who hit you?” Snatching my chin from his hand, I look down at the floor. “I really did hit a doorknob.” My eyes turn to his boots. They’re scuffed and dirty. With both hands on his knees, he stands. “Okay, since you don’t want to tell me what really happened…” He starts to leave “Wait!” I yell. “Are you going home?” He leans against the bookcase. “Yes.”

“Can I have a ride?” Pursing his lips, he takes me in slowly, making me squirm. “What’s in it for me?” I narrow my eyes. “Excuse me…it’s called being a good person. Helping someone out. Being a Good Samaritan.” “Baby.” He smirks. “I’m the furthest thing from a good boy you’re ever going to see.” The muscles in his arms flex. “Believe me.” “Well…” I stand and swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ll wash your clothes for a week?” He looks down at his watch. Ugh! “Okay, what do you want? Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it. Just please give me a ride home.” Dark eyes pin me in place. I’m almost afraid of what he’s going to ask. “Okay, I’ll give you a ride home. But, just know you owe me a favor.” “You’re not going to tell me what it is?” Rolling his shoulders, he straightens back up. “Nope.” Then he turns to leave. Bastard! *** “I need to stop by my job real quick before we go home.” Cade gives me a long sideways glance. “Is that okay, Princess?” “If it wasn’t, would it matter?” Cade grins and puts his truck into park. “I’ll be right back.”

I nod. I have nowhere else to go. I wait until he’s in front of the truck to look up. His jeans fit tightly to his ass. And what a freaking ass it is. I got a view Saturday morning. Since Cade felt it was necessary to sleep in my bed—naked. God, my body heats thinking about it. Right next to me. Naked. It obviously didn’t bother him like it did me. I stood there staring at the fine lines of his muscles, the tattoos lining his body. A small quote is tattooed around his hip, but I couldn’t read it. I was too busy staring at what was hanging between his legs. A truck blows its horn behind us, and I snap out of it. A flash of blue catches my eye from the side of the shop. An old blue Mustang is parked to the side, a FOR SALE sign on the window. Before I know what I’m doing, I step out of the truck and walk over. The paint is a periwinkle blue, with two black stripes down the front. Leather seats. Stick shift. I have to have this car. “What are you doing?” I jump and press my back against the car. “Is your boss selling this?” Cade lifts a heavy brow. “Who’s asking?” Crossing my arms, I stare back down at the car. “Just answer. Is it for sale?” Cade nods, lights a cigarette, and takes a long drag. His lips form a perfect O as he exhales. “It’s for sale but not worth shit. It needs a lot of work. I think the boss is asking six grand for her.” Six thousand. That’s chump change for my dad. But,

he would never give me the money for it. Not for a car. Not after what happened. Maybe if I tell him it’s for something else. But what? I’ll just have to use some of my savings for traveling to do it. Or get a job. If Dad would let me. “You want this car?” Cade asks bringing me back to reality. “Your dad is loaded, and you want this car?” He laughs, running his fingers through his hair. “What goes on in your head?” I roll my eyes and place my hand on the hood. I feel it. It needs to be mine. It has to be. “Where’s your boss?” Cade scratches the back of his neck while he laughs. “Seriously?” I lift a brow. What is so hard to understand here? “Yes, seriously.” He gives me the craziest look and walks into the shop. When I glance back up, an older man in a mechanic T-shirt and worn black pants is walking my way. “Hi there, young lady,” he says, sticking his hand out. “I’m Dan. It’s nice to meet you.” I take it and smile. He eyes Cade—who is still staring at me like I’m crazy—and then runs his dirty hands through his graying hair. “Cade tells me you’re interested in Old Blue over here?” I shove my hands into my pockets and give him a curt nod. “Yes, sir. I am. I don’t have a vehicle right now because…” I bite my lip. “I totaled my last one, but I’m really interested. I have four thousand saved for traveling, but I really need a car. Would you be willing to set up payments?”

I give him my hopeful look. He spits onto the ground while he strokes his scruffy chin. His thick caterpillar brows pull down in the middle. “I may be able to take you up on that offer.” His dark eyes make their way back to mine. “You’d spend your traveling money on this clunker?” I lift one shoulder. “I like her.” His grin widens, and he juts his hand outward. “I have a proposition for you.” Cade’s gaze drifts to Dan’s. “What are you talking about?” “I’ve been needing help with the bookkeeping around here. You organized?” I nod quickly. “How about you give me two thousand for the car, and work the rest off keeping my books?” Before I can help it, I launch myself at him and give him a hug. He chuckles deeply and pats me on the back. When I step backward he slaps his palms against his thighs. “It looks like we’ve got ourselves a new secretary.” He makes eye contact with Cade, but Cade’s glare doesn’t affect him like it does me. “And Cade is going to be the mechanic to fix it.” “What?” Cade yells. “The hell I am, Dan—that car needs some major TLC—” “And who better to give it to her than you?” Dan’s smiling when he glances back at me. “Come on in, and I’ll show you around.” I go to follow, but Cade grips my elbow before I can take two steps. He jerks me toward him. “What do you think

you’re doing?” His jaw is clenched tight. The sharp ridges of his face make him look scarier than he actually is—I think. “I’m getting myself a car,” I almost squeal. “Not here, you aren’t,” he argues. I open my mouth to ask why, and then I realize why. Because he works here. This makes me angry. Snatching my arm away from him, I tilt my chin upward. “I’m working here whether you like it or not. So tough shit.” Cade tightens his lips into a thin line and narrows his eyes at me. But I lift my chin up and follow Dan into the shop. After Dan introduces me to everyone, he gives me a form to fill out and sends me on my way. I’m nearly giddy when I climb into Cade’s truck. My hands are tight around my paperwork, and I start on it as soon as I shut the door. Cade doesn’t say a word as we get into his truck, and I don’t try to make conversation either. Because I have a job. My dad would never let me have one in high school. “I can take care of you. You don’t need that job—enjoy your youth.” Well that was one thing I was absolutely not doing—enjoying anything. Cade’s sigh draws my attention. He’s staring at his phone. I’m sure it’s some girl wanting to hook up. I don’t even give him a second glance. “Why do you want this job so much?” I should have known he would ask that. Tapping my pen to my chin, I close my eyes for a few short seconds. I think about the question and answer it honestly. “Because I

want to be needed.” Cade stares at me for a long few minutes before turning back to face the road. “You don’t feel needed?” And then my wall comes up. This is not my session at the clinic, and this is not a sensitive conversation about issues. This is real life. “Don’t look too much into it,” I mumble. Cade chuckles and turns the radio up. I reach forward and stop his hand. His green eyes drag up my body toward my face. “Don’t tell Adam.” He examines my face for a few long minutes. I pray he doesn’t ask me why, and he doesn’t. “Okay.”

Chapter Eleven Cade The old bastard gave the girl a job. She could have gotten a job anywhere and it just had to be at Dan’s. Dammit. I roll the sleeves of my shirt to my elbows and tuck the hem deep into my pants. The sound of her blow-dryer is loud from the next room over, but not as loud as her screams from last night. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but before I could rush to her room to see if someone had broken in, I realized it was a nightmare. Just to be sure, I looked through the cracked slit in her door. I watched as she wiped the tears from her face and dry swallowed a pill. I left when she fell back against the pillow and stilled. Obviously Jade has her problems—who the hell am I to judge? The blow-dryer stops, and I jerk out of my trance. I finish getting dressed and gather all of my shit. When I walk into the kitchen, Jade is shoveling scrambled eggs out of a skillet onto two plates. The slight pink in her cheeks would make an excellent excuse to distract myself by embarrassing her, but the sad shape to her smile stops me. I grab the plate with the most food—assuming it’s mine, she doesn’t eat worth a shit—and graze her arm before pulling back. “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t ask how I know because she doesn’t have to. “I’m okay,” she says. *** “Do you think you can do that?” Dan asks. Jaden’s broad grin gives the answer he needs. I’ve never seen anyone so happy to have a job before in their life. I didn’t peg Jaden for a girl who would want to work. Normally when parents shower their teenage girls with everything they want, they don’t hide a job behind their parents’ backs. It only proves that she’s nuts. “I can do it,” she says, turning to face Dan. He hands her a name badge. Her eyes round, and she throws her arms around him—again. “Thank you! I’m so excited to start!” Dan chuckles almost giddily—which I’ve never heard him do—and pulls Jade in by her shoulder. He almost looks smitten. Bring in a pretty lady and Dan goes nuts. When he catches me staring, he straightens his shoulders and runs a hand through his graying hair. “Well, that’s pretty much what I need you to do. Cade, can you show her how to use the register?” He disappears before I can answer. “Well, now that that’s over with,” I say. “Let me show you.” It isn’t long before Jaden catches on. The skin between her eyebrows pinches as she watches me put in a few fake orders. “I think I have it,” she says, writing notes down on a

notepad on the counter. “Yeah, it’s pretty easy. So let me know if you need anything.” “Are you going to work on my car?” I turn and lift an eyebrow at her. “Now? I have a fucking ton to do today, Jaden.” She slams a fist down on her hip. “Is it going to be like this every day? I know it’s such a pain to work with me, but I’d appreciate if you’d keep your end of the bargain.” A laugh escapes my mouth before I can stop it. I’ve seen her get mad but this is priceless. Her flustered look is something I’d like to see more often. “Stop laughing at me. I’m being serious.” I contain myself as I lean against the counter and bite my lip. “I may get around to it today, Jade. If I have the time I promise I will—” “We got a new chick?” John staggers in through the front door and grabs his timecard from the wall behind the desk. Jaden juts out her hand. “Jaden Baker. Nice to meet you.” John lifts a dark eyebrow, grabs her hand, and lifts it to his mouth. Something tings in my chest and, before I can stop myself, I knock his hand away from hers. He jerks back with a sleazy smile. “Hey man, just giving the lady a friendly hello. No harm done.” He places his palms up and walks backward into the shop, but not before he blows Jaden a kiss. My eyes widen, and I glance over at Jaden. She’s

staring at me with her lips parted into a perfect O. Goddamn, she looks so innocent. My fingers clench into a fist. “Guy’s an asshole. You should stay away from him.” She nibbles nervously at her bottom lip. “Noted. I think we have a customer.” She points and faces the front before the bell dings them in. Most of the day goes by quickly. Jaden packed our lunches and for the first time I’m actually thrilled to eat at work. Compared to my burnt pizza stick and corndogs from the gas station, anything looks better. When I see Jaden clock out for lunch, I follow suit and find her sitting in the lounge area in the back, eating. Her eyes lift to mine, and I see the excitement still there. How someone could be so excited to work is beyond me. I watch her as I heat up my subs and grab a drink from the fridge. “So, by the smile on your face I’d say you like it so far?” She takes another bite of her food and swallows. “I do like it.” I slide the chair against the tile and take a seat in front of her. A comfortable silence settles over us. A silence that’s much needed after the banging of the garage all day. When we finish, Jaden grabs my plate. I watch her carefully as she cleans the two dishes and sets them in the dish rack. I admire the shape of her ass and how her jeans hug the curve just right. My dick shifts in my jeans, and I readjust myself before she can see. When she turns around she

leans against the counter and rolls her neck. “Those new working muscles hurting you over there, Princess?” She rubs at a certain spot on her neck. “No, I slept on it wrong.” Yeah, like she could sleep. Her nightmares keep me up; I know they keep her ass up. “Do you sleep well—in your new room, I mean?” She eyes me. “I sleep fine.” I nod and throw my drink into the trash. “You sure?” She stiffens when I stop in front of her. She’s avoiding eye contact like a six-year-old kid with permanent marker all over their face. “I said I was fine and that means I’m fine.” I grip her chin in my fingers. “Just because you tell me you’re fine, doesn’t mean you’re fine. I heard you cry last night.” A look of outrage crosses her face, and she jerks out of my grasp. “Our thirty minutes is up. I’ll see you after work.”

Ah, hell. *** My phone rings as soon as I slide my timecard back into the slot at the end of the day. My mother’s number pops up on the screen. I mentally groan and swipe my thumb across the screen. “Hello.” I follow Jaden outside after waving bye to

Dan. She stops by her Mustang and examines the backseats. “What’s up?” “Cade,” she says. She sounds scared to death. “What’s wrong, Mom? Are you okay?” She sniffles into the phone and then I hear rustling on her end. “I think someone is watching the house.” God. I wrap my hand around my keys and stop when I remember Jaden. She’s bent over looking at the tires now, like she even knows what to look for. Her dark hair falls from her ponytail as she removes her hairband, letting the strands fall down her shoulders. I don’t want anyone to meet my mom like this. I would ask John to take her, but after what happened this morning, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. “Cade—please,” Mom begs. “I think I’m ready to go to rehab. I can’t be alone in this house anymore. I’m scared.” I want to tell my mom she’s fine. Because honestly she’s probably paranoid because she’s high as a fucking kite. But on the other hand if this gets her into rehab— maybe I should go along with it. I bend my knees and screw my eyes shut. “Okay, Mom. I’ll be there in ten minutes. I have someone with me so please keep the melodrama to a minimum? I’ll take you to rehab.” I hang up before she can answer. Jaden straightens when I walk over to the car and tap my fingers against the hood. “Hey, we need to hurry. I have to go get someone.” She shoves her hands into her pockets and drags her gaze from her car to me. “Who?”

I bite my lower lip and debate telling her. She lifts an eyebrow, but I don’t answer. “Come on.” We get into the truck and Jaden immediately pulls on her seatbelt. I guess she noticed the urgency in my voice. She pulls at the sleeves of her shirt and waves the fabric away from her skin. “You know, you wouldn’t be so hot if you’d wear short-sleeves. It’s not November.” She gives me a sidelong glance but points ahead. “Didn’t we need to hurry?” I roll my eyes and slam the gas to the floor. I know my mother is fine, and odds are no one is watching her… but what if, right? The old Firebird hasn’t moved since the last time and the weeds are now covering the entire tire on the right side. “Who lives here?” Jaden asks, sitting up higher in her seat. I stop my truck and turn toward her. “Stay here.” She huffs but obeys as I get out and walk the stairs to my mother’s house. The lights are off, so I flick them on as I go through the house. My mother’s room smells like a mixture of heavy drugs. The TV casts a faint glow over her bed, and I see the needles, Kleenex, and empty can of chili. My stomach rolls at the thought of her eating it cold. How fucking high do you have to be? I find her cowering in the corner beside her bed with a blanket on top of her head. “Mom?” She snatches the cover off, and I sink backward.

She looks worse than the last time. Her tangled hair is stuck to the side of her face with blood. “What happened to you?” I bend down in front of her. She begins to shake and claw at her forearm. Ah, she’s out of dope. “You’re strung out.” She jerks her hand up and scratches at her cheek. “Please, Cade. Take me to rehab. I hurt. Everywhere.” The sight of my mother curled into a ball on her bedroom floor makes my stomach turn. “Let’s get you washed up first.” Carefully, I lift her into my arms. I hear her soft sobs as I sit her on the toilet seat. “We need to hurry. I have someone waiting outside. Take a quick shower. I’ll be in the kitchen when you get finished.” I wait until I hear the water turn on before I walk down the hallway and into the living room. The blinds are halfway broken behind the couch, but I carefully pull them down anyway. Jaden is still in the truck. Not that I thought she would go anywhere, but this isn’t the best part of town. I pick up random things and wash a few dirty dishes in the sink. Mom doesn’t eat much so there really isn’t much to clean. Only a ragged kitchen with holey walls. Mom walks into the room several minutes later. Her clothes hang off her, but they’re clean, and it’s a step in the right direction. Her natural dark roots have grown down to her ears. I can’t remember the last time she went to get a haircut. “Thank you for cleaning up,” she says.

I nod and grab my keys but stop. I don’t know why, but I’m hesitant to bring her with us. I don’t care what Jaden thinks—I just don’t want to deal with her pity. “Mom, look,” I say, scratching the back of my neck. “I have someone in the car with me.” She grabs her purse off of the counter and lifts an eyebrow at me. “You’ve said. A girl?” God. Digging my keys from my pocket, I give her a don’t go there look. “Yes, she’s one of my roommates and works at the garage with me.” Mom slides her arm through her purse and places the other one on her hip. “And why do you look like you’re about to shit bricks if she’s just a girl?” I grind my back molars together. “I’m not. Just…let’s get this over with.” She holds up her shaky hands and follows me outside. Jaden’s head is leaned back against the seat. She looks up when I open my door. Her gaze moves to the back door as it opens as well. I watch as she eyes my mother and then me. “Hi,” Mom says, jutting her shaking hand between the two of us. “I’m Cade’s mom.” Jaden gives her a sweet smile. “I’m Jaden, Cade’s roommate. It’s nice to meet you.” Once I start the truck I watch my mom in the review mirror. She looks Jaden up and down with a small smirk. It almost makes me smile, but then I remember why we’re here. Another try at rehab. “So, are you in college, Jaden?” my mom asks from

the backseat, her legs jerking erratically. Of course. I ask her not to talk to Jaden and what does she do? Jaden nods. “Yes, ma’am. It’s my first year.” “Well, congratulations, sweetie. It’s a big step to go to school. I’m glad my Cade did as well.” I swear to God my cheeks better not be red. I give Jaden a sideways glance, and I see the small smile curling the side of her mouth. “Thank you,” she says. “So, are you and my son dating?” Goddammit! I slam my hand down on the steering wheel and glare at her in the review mirror. “Mom.” She scowls at me, scratching the crease of her arm. “Calm down, Cade. It was just a question—that you didn’t answer.” “No,” Jaden says from the passenger seat. Her neck is inclined just enough to show my mom that she’s looking at her. “We’re not dating. Just roommates and co-workers. Nothing more.” She whips her head back around without a glance in my direction. Something tingly starts happening in my chest, and I do my best to block it out. We drive the rest of the way to the rehab facility in silence. My mouth is dry when we pull into the parking lot. The faded paint from last year hasn’t been fixed. The building isn’t in the best condition, but it’s the only tax-paid facility in town. There is no way in hell I’d be able to pay for her stay. Not when she’s just going to leave anyway. Jade’s stare is like hot coals against the side of my face, but I don’t look. I don’t want to see her judging my

mom. Not everyone grew up with a picture-perfect family. This is how the other half lives. “It was nice to meet you, Jaden. I wish you the best of luck with school.” Jaden turns and shakes my mom’s hand. “Nice to meet you, too.” My mom pats her hand and climbs from the backseat. Once we’re at the entrance of the building my mother pulls me to a stop. Oh, no. She’s not backing out this time. She tucks her hair behind her ears and puts a finger up before I can protest. “I’m not backing out, Cade. You can stop sneering at me.” She glances over her shoulder at my truck. “I know I haven’t been a great mother, Cade. And I’m truly sorry. But I’d keep that little girl close. Don’t be mean to her.” She shakes her head. “I can see the pain on her face.” As badly as I want to tell her I’m not taking dating advice from you, I don’t. Instead I open the door and gesture her to go in. Once she’s situated with a nurse, I leave. If I stay any longer she’d change her mind and start into a fit like last time. A sense of hope fills me when I hear the door click without her screaming out my name. Jaden doesn’t look my way when I get in the truck and start down the road. Something about the way her eyes fell when she said we weren’t dating is eating at me. But we’ve already talked about this. Jade and I aren’t compatible anyway. Even if you took away the pills, crying,

nightmares, and the fifty-foot guard she has up around her, it still wouldn’t work. I refuse to fuck my best friend’s sister. No matter how crazy she’s making me. I can’t do that to him. I won’t. “Look,” I say. “Could you not tell anyone about my mom?” She jerks her face to me and there is no denying she’s pissed. Her lips are pressed in a hard straight line. And I almost ask her why she’s so mad, but before I can, she shuts up tighter than a clam. “I won’t tell, Cade.” I know I’m getting nothing else out of her. “Thanks.”

Chapter Twelve Jade I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t stoked about my job. It’s easy, and it’s going to get me a car. My own car. It’s all I’ve been able to think about all day. I pull open my laptop and flop down on my bed, sending my feet into my dresser drawer. “Shit!” I grab my toe and squeeze. My gaze drops to what I hit, and my pill bottle is lying on the floor. I have an appointment tomorrow but I don’t think I’m going to mention it. It’s not that I think I’m better because I’m not. But I take my pills religiously and I know that sitting in that room isn’t helping me. I wouldn’t be surprised if sitting in that room didn’t worsen my depression. Before I change my mind, I crawl back onto my bed and pull up Facebook. A loud thud sounds from Cade’s room and a stream of cuss words fills the house. I try not to laugh too loud. That’s what his ass gets! The way he sounded disgusted that his mother thought we were dating. It hurt worse than I wanted to admit. I stroll through my newsfeed and wait for one o’clock to hit. Cade and I both have an evening shift at the garage today. But as much as I want to stop thinking about him—I can’t. His mother is clearly on drugs. Not that it matters. A slight ding pops up on my Facebook, and all my hope dies when I see it’s a game invitation from some old

relative that doesn’t even need a Facebook. I’m not sure why I even thought it’d be anything important. No one talks to me on Facebook. I’m about to shut my laptop when I see his face on my newsfeed. Justin. Status: About to lay it down… I haven’t seen him since graduation. The day he chanted along with all the prep school assholes “Ho, sit down.” But it’s not the ugly yells that draw my attention. It’s the memories surfacing. A memory that takes me back to the beginning of the madness. ***

Jennifer’s gaze widened as she stared over my shoulder. Those hazel eyes were locked on something behind me. By the look on her face, you would have thought it was Adam Levine walking up to us. “What in the hell, Jennifer?” I gave her a shaky, nervous laugh and shoved her shoulder, but she didn’t budge. I clutched my finger over the bottom of my opened locker door and turned around slowly. Justin Diggs. His hands were shoved into the depths of his jeans, and his self-assured swagger was more than most high school girls could handle. Including me. But it wasn’t his swagger or jeans that had us gawking. We saw him every day from afar. It was the direction he was coming—straight toward us. His

letterman jacket hugged him tight. He was the only person that made the Superman colors look good. Before I could turn to hide, his dark brown gaze settled on mine. It was the moment I had dreamed of for two years. Until last week, he’d been dating Selena. They had a huge breakup the week before in the cafeteria. She poured Kool-Aid all over his head, and he called her a bitch. The best school day that year. “He’s coming.” “No he’s not,” I said quickly. I didn’t want the chance to miss his smile. Words formed on his lips, and I was eager to know what they were. I hoped it wasn’t “can I borrow a pencil” like the time before. But this time was different. He was looking —smiling—at me! “Jade, right?” I had heard him say many things, but hearing him say my name was the best word he could have said. Jennifer nudged me from behind, and I took an unwanted step toward him. At the same time, his arm jutted out and wrapped around my elbow. The warmth settled in my lower stomach. “Steady there,” he said, giving me his best smile. “I’m Jennifer,” she said, shoving her hand at him. I almost bit her arm off. Jennifer had a wild dream of becoming popular. Yep, it’s just as cliché as it sounds. She would have crawled, slid, or chewed someone’s arm

off to cross that line. “You’re in my science class, right?” Justin asked, raking his eyes down my T-shirt and jeans. I gave him a small nod. “And History.” He snapped his fingers and nodded awkwardly before looking at Jennifer. “Could we get a minute?” I didn’t even hear what she said. My heart was jackhammering in my chest so loud it sounded like eighteen-wheelers raced inside of me. I knew when she had left because his gaze drifted back to mine. When he leaned against the locker and grabbed the zipper of my jacket, I got dizzy. “You busy this Friday, Jaden?” His gaze pinned me to the ground. There wasn’t one way I could have gotten away from him if I had wanted to. I was the innocent lamb in the hallway being tracked by the wolf. I took in his woodsy cologne and lost all rational thought. I wanted—needed—to go with him. “I can make time. What do you have in mind?” The smile—again. He reached into his jacket and handed me a slip of paper. “Here’s my number. Text me yours. We’ll make plans.” His phone number. Something I would have given my right leg for three minutes ago. I took the slip of paper in shaky hands and slid it into the pocket of my jeans. When I looked back up he winked and before I could swoon in the moment—he was gone.

And I was doomed. ***

Bang. Bang. Bang. My head jerks to the door, and I sit up, closing my laptop. “Yeah?” Adam sticks his head in and opens the door the rest of the way. “You have a visitor.” I lift an eyebrow and pull my knees to my chin. I’m not expecting anyone. “Who?” “Me.” Nancy playfully shoves Adam out of the way and enters my room. I almost squeal at the sight of her. Her partly graying hair is cut in a small short bob and her loafers —sensible shoes, she calls them—are shined and paired with her usual slacks. She tosses her hands out wide, and I run into the familiar warmth. “Baby,” she sighs. “It’s so good to see you.” She kisses my forehead before pushing me back, hands braced on my shoulders. She pretends to examine me. “You still look the same.” She sniffs me, and I laugh. “You still smell the same.” “Dang, Nancy. She’s only been gone two weeks. Geesh—I’ve been gone two years, and you don’t act that excited to see me.” Nancy rolls her eyes and ruffles Adam’s hair. “Adam —you know I love Jaden more than you. She didn’t give me hell like you did. I’ve been chasing girls out of your room since you were twelve.”

Adam shrugs. “What can I say? The ladies love me.” Nancy smiles. “Of course they do. Now get out of here; you get to see her all the time now. I don’t. Shoo!” She pushes him out into the hallway and shuts the door. She turns and gives me a giant grin. “So, what’s with the shirt?” The shirt? I look down at my garage uniform and frown. “I forgot I had it on.” Nancy takes a seat at my desk and gently crosses her legs. “Spill. You got a job? Good for you!” I let out a gentle sigh and sink onto the bed. “Thank God. I was scared you’d be mad. Dad and Adam don’t know, they’re oblivious to anything I wear. You know how Dad is, and I don’t want to open that can of worms with him again.” She rests her elbow on my desk and rolls her eyes. “Your dad is busy. And a jackass.” I snicker at the cuss words like a three-year-old and nod. “You said it.” “So where is this job? Dan’s? Is that a garage? Now what do you know about cars?” “I don’t. I keep the books for him. My roommate works there.” Nancy’s gaze narrows, and a small smile curls up her jaw. “What’s his name?” Heat warms my cheeks, and I roll my eyes to play it off. “Cade.” Nancy twirls a piece of her hair with a smile on her face, and I burst out laughing. “Stop!” I throw a pillow at her

face and she blocks it. “You’re the one blushing—not me.” I pull at a string on my comforter, and it suddenly hits me. Why am I blushing? There isn’t anything going on between Cade and me. Sure, he’s gotten pretty close to kissing me before but nothing in days. And the sexy little remarks have almost disappeared. Now he seems aggravated with me. “You’re really focusing over there. Do I need to be afraid?” I snort. “No, it’s just—” Thud. Thud. Thud. The door swings open, and Cade fills the doorway. Nancy makes a small noise under her breath—that Cade can’t hear—and I have no idea what it means. But if she’s anything like me, she’s staring at the way the fabric of his shirt is bulging around his muscles. Or maybe it’s his tattoos that climb down his forearm to his wrist. His eyes widen. “Oh, sorry…I’m Cade.” “Nancy. Nice to meet you.” Cade’s gaze turns to mine, and he jabs his finger over his shoulder. “We need to leave soon. Work in twenty.” I give him a quick nod. “I’ll be ready in a bit.” He closes the door behind him. “Ha!” Nancy yells and points a finger at me. “And now we really know why Jade wants a job.” I fall back on the bed. “So not true. I’m saving for a car.” Whoops. A silence settles over the room, and I’m afraid to

look over at Nancy. Shortly, I feel her hand on my knee and the mattress bend from her weight. “Sweetie—” “Please,” I whisper and squeeze my eyes shut. “I can’t hear it today. I’ve been doing…better.” Nancy sighs, grabs my arm, and pulls me upright. Her soft fingers cup my face, and she smiles at me. “I’m glad you got a job, and that you’re trying to get a car. I believe you’re better. And I won’t tell your dad. But you need to make sure you’re one hundred percent before you drive. We don’t need what happened last time to happen again, sweetie. In a vehicle or at home.” Sighing, I give her a curt nod. “I know. It won’t.” She smiles and pats my cheek. “Okay, it looks like your roommate is waiting for you.” She gives me a sly smile. “And you need to get to your job!” She stops by the door and gives me another hug. “I love you, sweetie. Call me if you need anything.” “I love you, too.” *** I lean over the counter and try to grab the paperclip holder from the opposite side. The garage is closing in ten minutes, and my neck is actually really killing me. I may have been excited to start, but I didn’t think about my body. I’m not used to standing on my feet for hours at a time. I’d blame my dad, but I was never the athletic one anyway. My fingers grip the edge of the paperclip box when I

feel something press against my back and then the paperclips are being lifted. I turn around quickly and come face-to-face with Cade. He smells like oil and sweat—I never thought that would smell so good but mixed with his heavy spicy scent it smells like heaven. The corner of his mouth curls up. “Trying to get these?” I swallow the heavy lump in my throat and try to ease back, but I’m pushed up against the counter. And by the smile on Cade’s face, I’d say he knows exactly how uncomfortable I am. He just doesn’t care. He cracks his neck slowly—deliberately keeping his gaze on mine—before stepping away. “Are you ready? I’m fucking starving.” I pull out a paperclip and attach the receipts to Dan’s book for the day. “Yep.” I grab my timecard and clock out before tossing a hand to the back of the garage. “Bye, guys.” I heard a loud gruffer of goodbyes before following Cade outside. “I need to stop by my mom’s house to check on something. She hasn’t been there and I just want to make sure it’s in once piece and locked up. Do you mind?” I climb into the passenger seat. “It’s your truck.” Cade smiles. “I was being polite. Don’t make me regret it.” *** Cade pulls into the driveway a few minutes later and kills

the engine. His eyes are narrowed in on a side window that’s been broken. “Goddammit,” he mumbles. Before I know it he’s out of the truck and running up the porch. What in the hell? I hear a loud banging sound from inside the house and my heart starts thumping hard in my chest. I jump out and run to the house before I can change my mind. The front door is wide open. Furniture is strewn across the living room floor and trash litters everything. When I get to the kitchen, I gasp loudly. Broken glass and dishes cover the floor. Cade’s back is to me, but I can tell his shoulders are tense. He’s looking at the broken dining room table, but I’m sure the spray-painted DEAD BITCH that’s on the dining room wall is what’s got him clenching his fists and shaking. “Cade,” I whisper. He whips around, and my breath catches in my throat. He’s not mad—he’s fucking irate. His big green eyes are dark, his jaw clenched tight, chest rising harshly, and his fists shake at his sides. I’m suddenly not sure why I even got out of the truck. I sure as hell don’t know what to say. But he needs to calm down before he explodes. I’ve seen that face way too many times. “I’ll help you,” I say. The anger is still on his face, but his jaw unclenches. “What?” His voice comes out hoarse and rough, but it slides over me like velvet. I say it before I lose my nerve. “I’ll help you clean this up tomorrow—if you hurry on my car. We both get

something it looks like we need.” He doesn’t even know that if he’d ask I would have helped either way. Cade gives me a good once over, and it cuts me to the bone. The insides of my thighs tremble at the heated intensity of it. “You want to help me?” Yes. I want to yell it at him but, of course, I don’t. “I’ll help.” Cade swallows and closes the distance between us. He’s not touching me, but his gaze brushes every inch of my skin. My sex clenches when he runs his tongue over the side of his lip. “Deal.” “Okay.” My voice sounds as weak as my self-control feels. There is no reason to be so damn turned on right now and yet, my fingers are trembling with an itch I want to scratch. But of course, I don’t take his strong jaw in my tiny hands like I want to. I jet out of the house so I don’t have to stand underneath his gaze anymore. I don’t think I can take one more minute.

Chapter Thirteen Cade The writing scribbled on a Post-It taped to the fridge is from Will. I can tell by the crap handwriting. It looks like they’re having some douche frat meeting at the condo tomorrow because the frat house is being renovated. I crumple the note into a ball and toss it in the trash. Like we don’t have enough douchebags in this apartment already. *** My mom is sitting in her room, which contains a twin-size bed with a dresser and nightstand. She looks so small curled up in the middle of her crumpled blanket with her knees under her chin. A small glass of water is on the nightstand next to her. It looks untouched. The rooms are small, but there’s no dope or alcohol and that’s all that matters. Dark half-moons hang underneath both eyes, and I know she’s having a hard time. The first few weeks are always the worst. “Mom.” She opens her eyes and blinks at me for a few seconds. A small smile crawls up her lip. “Cade. I didn’t know you were coming by.” I hold up a bag. “I brought you some clothes.” I place

it on the small dresser on the opposite side of the small room and then take a seat in a foldout chair next to the bed. “So, how’s it going?” Mom gives me the stink-eye and leans back against her headboard. “I’d do anything for a fix,” she says, but it sounds like a cry. “But at least I have no way of getting it here.” I frown. I wish she had some faith in herself. “Someone broke into the house.” Mom sighs and cups her face in her hands. “Goddamn. It’s Hardy. The same guy as last time.” When she looks up I see the tears in her eyes. “I can’t afford to pay him back.” “He threatened you.” “I’m safe for now. Were you there when he came? Or Jaden?” I narrow my gaze. “Why would Jaden be at the house, Mom?” She lifts her shoulder slightly, and she looks so skinny she may break. “Just asking. You know, it’s okay to like her, Cade.” What? I furrow my brow and wipe my palm down my face. “Mom, please don’t start this again. She’s my best friend’s little sister. It’s guy code. I can’t be with her, even if I wanted to.” “Are you saying you’re interested?” I open my mouth and shut it quick. Am I interested? I’ve been hot and cold with the way I feel about her. “I have to go, Mom.”

She huffs and lies back against the headboard again. “You’re so damn hard-headed. If you could have seen the look on her face, Cade.” Look? I wipe my palms against my jeans. “What are you talking about?” She bites back a laugh and picks at a random thread on the wooly comforter. “When I asked if you two were in a relationship, you hurt her when you acted the way you did.” She suddenly looks up at me. “She’d be crazy not to like you, Cade.” She leans up and pats my knee. “Whether or not Adam wants you to date, Jaden wouldn’t think twice.” I try to speak, but my tongue sticks to the top of my mouth. She’s not right, is she? I don’t doubt Jaden may like the way I look, but she couldn’t really like me, could she? I’m not right for her any more than Will is right for her. But I don’t deny wanting to taste her. That innocence attracts me like a moth to flame. Mom is grinning ear-to-ear when I look over at her. I roll my eyes and stand. “Okay, Mom. Whatever you say.” I kiss the top of her head, stop at the doorway, and glance back. “Thanks for staying, Mom.” And I know by the way she smiles she’s going to get better this time. I feel it. *** Jaden runs down the stairs two minutes after I blow the horn. My fingers lace around the steering wheel as she

turns the first corner. The small shorts she’s wearing look like cheerleading shorts. The black fabric curves nicely to her ass and legs. She walks slowly toward the truck. She doesn’t really look that young, does she? Her eyes stay locked on the ground when she walks. I can’t imagine how much better she’d look if she had confidence in herself. But it isn’t just shyness; there is some other reason. The way she looks shaky around a lot of people. Or the way she uses her hair to hide her face. When the door squeaks open, I snap my gaze toward the front and start the truck. “Is your mom okay?” “How did you know I went to see my mom?” She starts fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt. “I heard you talking to her last night.” I lift a brow. “You heard or you were eavesdropping?” She gives me a small smile and a sideways glance. “Heard, thank you. Now keep your eyes on the road, you’re making me nervous.” I chuckle before I can help it. “You sure I’m not making you nervous because you like that I’m staring at you?” A little sound escapes her throat before she reaches over and turns the radio up. “Drive.” The house looks worse in the sunlight. Jaden helps me carry the cleaning products up the half-fallen stairs and into the living room. The house is cool, and I’m glad I thought to turn the air conditioner on before I left, or it’d

smell like shit in here. Jade drops the bag of supplies in front of her and places her hands on her hips. “Where should we start?” “Good question.” I close my eyes and randomly point. “How about in the kitchen?” Jaden smiles. “Sounds good.” After we get the broken glass and dirt swept up, I clean off the cabinets while Jaden starts scrubbing the spray paint off the wall. Every time I see the writing it makes my blood boil. Jaden clears her throat as I take my place beside her. “You know, this house would be really pretty with some paint. Maybe a yellow or something in here?” “Really?” I ask, taking a few minutes to imagine it. “Yellow would work. Are you suggesting we paint it?” Red covers her cheeks, and she gives me a onearmed shrug. “I could help—if you wanted some help.” Oh, I do. “Help is always nice.” She nods. “Okay, then. We’ll paint it.” She wipes the sweat from her brow and starts scrubbing harder. It’s coming slowly but surely. “Where does your brother think you are right now?” She huffs. “He thinks I’m at the library.” “You’re hiding me?” She turns and gives me a shut the hell up look. “That would mean I tell him about your mom which I promised I wouldn’t do. And even though we’re just cleaning he’ll jump to conclusions and think we’re in here getting it on or something.” Her eyes widen and the blush

darkens. “Getting it on?” I ask. She presses her lips into a hard line. “You know what I mean. Don’t be a jackass.” “Jackass is my middle name.” I watch her from the corner of my eye as we scrub the wall. Her hair falls around her face from her loose ponytail. Her back arches, showing me the full curve of her ass, as she presses hard with each swipe of her arm. “No it’s not,” she says. And the way it whispers from her lips makes my dick ache. “You don’t know me.” Jade stops mid-scrub. Those big green eyes are wide and curious. She tugs on her bottom lip as we stare each other down. “A jackass wouldn’t take care of his mom the way you do.” Goddamn it. “Oh?” I ask. She watches me—her gaze suddenly heavy—but doesn’t move when I take a step closer. “You think because I help my mom, that makes me a good guy?” I laugh harshly, but she doesn’t flinch. She searches my face. I can only imagine the horror she’s looking at. The fucked-up boy with the tattoos and bad family. But for some reason it doesn’t feel like she’s judging me. “I’m fucked up.” She gives me a quick nod. “So am I. But that doesn’t make me a bad person.” Then she turns back to the wall, leaving me standing stupidly close to her. “Just because you’ve had a bad childhood doesn’t put you in the category of grease monkey or whatever else you think you are right

now.” She turns to me and points her finger at my chest. “I don’t think you’re a bad guy at all. I think you’re good.” And that’s all she fucking wrote. I can’t take how close she is or the way she smells. She thinks I’m good and I feel like letting her see how good I can be. I feel like trying for her. Before I lose my nerve, I snake my fingers around the back of her neck. Those green eyes widen as I stroke the pad of my thumb against the corner of her pouty mouth. “You think I’m good, Jaden?” A quiet sigh escapes her, sending her minty breath against my lips. I want—need—to kiss her. Now. “Because you’re wrong. A good person wouldn’t want to do the things I want to do to their best friend’s little sister.” She lets out another shaky breath and reaches up to grab one of my wrists. My heart jackhammers because I think she’s going to move it, but she doesn’t. She grips my hand hard. “Would a good person kiss me right now?” Her breath is frustrated. Her thin brows pull down in the middle as she watches my lips. “No.” Her hooded gaze drifts up, and she licks her lips. “Well then we’re both fucked up and bad people. Because I want your mouth on mine.” Christ. I curl my fingers around her neck and close the gap between us, pressing my lips against the softness of hers. The whimper that’d been riding on her tongue escapes into my mouth, and I plunge my tongue in to smother it.

Her hand tightens on my wrists and the other clutches my T-shirt. I lap at the sweetness of her mouth and move my tongue in a slow steady rhythm until she’s shaking against me. I have no idea what Jaden’s done before, but I love the way her lips move—submissively hungry and determined.

Fuck it. I run my hands down her arm to her hip, and I don’t stop until I feel the smooth curve of her ass in my palm. She whimpers again, this time gently biting my bottom lip. All the doom from this is irrelevant because I can’t make myself stop. There isn’t enough manpower in the world. Her soft moans are masked by the groans I can’t keep in. I grab her ass and wrap her legs around my waist. Her tiny body fits around mine perfectly. I kiss a path down her jaw, and she lets her head fall backwards, exposing her neck. I nip and suck at her skin until we’re in my childhood room. *** I carefully lower us on the bed, until I’m lying between her spread legs. I grind my cock against her, and she grips my shirt and breathes against me. “Don’t think about it,” she whispers, pressing her eyes closed. “Don’t think about it, just kiss me. Just touch me. Don’t think about Adam or anyone.” I smile and wipe my thumb across her bottom lip. “Sweetheart, Adam is the last fucking thing on my mind

right now. Now give me your mouth.” She obeys, parting her lips as soon as I run my tongue against her. Her hips grind upward against me at a steady rhythm that matches our pace. There isn’t one thing in this world I want more right now than to pull those goddamn jeans off and fuck her raw. Her small fingers reach for the hem of my shirt, and she tugs it over my head. I toss the tank to the floor, and when I look back down at her, she’s staring at me. The soft featherlike touch of her fingers set a fire inside of me. So innocent. So perfect. “Baby,” I whisper, and she tightens her legs around me. Goddamn she’s got to stop doing that. “You told me you weren’t a virgin. That true?” She nods once, but her eyes dart away. I push the stray hair sticking to her face behind her ear and carefully watch her. “How many times, Jaden? How many other men have had you like this?” She squirms underneath me, her small chest rising and falling quickly. She doesn’t want to answer. It may be way more than I want to hear, but it wouldn’t matter. I stopped counting mine. “One,” she whispers. “One guy?” She swallows hard. “One time.” She’s only had sex once? Who the fuck could have her just once? Carefully, I sit up. A worried look crosses her face and she leans on her elbows. I try to think what to say. I can’t take her. I don’t know if I have the self-control to do

this to her. I’m not a gentle lover. And she’s only had one guy a long time ago. It’s going to feel like she’s a virgin. I imagine slipping inside of her—tight and wet. I run my fingers down my face and remove them when I see her head for the door. Fuck. “Jaden,” I yell, tripping over a pair of old Nike shoes. She’s trying to straighten out her clothes in the hallway when I catch her. Tears stream down her cheeks. Her tiny nose is Rudolph red. “What’s wrong?” She grinds her teeth and grabs a handful of her hair. “You don’t want me! I basically throw myself at you and you stop. What’s wrong with me?” She sniffs and wipes at the makeup smudges underneath her eyes. “Just take me home. You’ve made it perfectly freaking clear.” She’s shaking while trying to keep eye contact. I take in her face—those sad, beautiful eyes—and her small, shivering body. I take another step and trap her against the wall. “We’ve had this conversation, Jaden. I want you. I want you so bad that I don’t know what I would do to you.” She swallows. “Then why won’t you try?” “Because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not the kind of guy that’ll go in there and give you a two-minute ride. I need to feel you—hard.” I push off the wall and grip my hair. “That sounds so fucking stupid.” “You’re scared you’ll physically hurt me? What is this, Fifty Shades?” She throws her hands up and slaps them back against her thighs. “Do I need to sign a contract, too?”

I growl and grip her neck. “This is serious. You’re gentle. I’m not. And I like things a little differently. Rough.” She watches as I nip her bottom lip and take her hip in my hand. “You’re a gentle fucking flower, and I’m a bulldozer that wants to rip you to shreds. You think you could handle it? Handle me?” She bites her lower lip and takes a step away from me, swiping her shirt from the floor. “I don’t know if I can, Cade. How does anyone inexperienced get away from that if no one will give her the chance?” I open my mouth and snap it shut. When my phone rings, she points to it. “You better get that. I’ll be outside.” “Fuck.” *** Jaden hops out of the truck before I kill the engine. She wouldn’t even look at me on the way home. “Jaden!” I yell but she’s already at the stairs, taking two at a time. “Goddammit, Jaden,” I mumble to myself. I lock the car and race up the stairs. The door is wide open. I slam it behind me but stop when I run into Jade’s back. She’s standing in the middle of the dining room, looking out over the living room at a group of guys. By the looks of it, the frat douchebags are here. Will stands up and gives me a dirty go-to-hell look. “Could you have slammed the door a little harder?” I clear my throat and cock my head to the side. “I don’t know. You want me to try again?”

Will grinds his teeth and pulls at the ironed sleeves of his shirt. But by the way Jaden is still standing and staring, I get the feeling something is wrong. I gently trace my fingertip against the back of her arm, and she’s shivering. Will raises an eyebrow. “Do you need something, Cade? I left you a note. By the way it was crumpled in the trash, I’m sure you got it.” “Jaden?” My gaze follows Jaden’s to one of the guys in the living room. He looks a lot like Will. Ironed, three-hundreddollar clothing with shoes that would pay someone’s rent. He runs his hands through his brown hair and strides toward her like he owns the fucking town. When he reaches for her, she pushes him away. A look of outrage crosses his face. Then he slides his hands into the pockets of his slacks and leans back with a cocky grin. “What’s wrong, Jade? You sick?” He laughs. Laughs at her. What a douchebag. She’s pale. White as a fucking ghost. Tears begin to build in her eyes and her bottom lip trembles. I don’t like the look on this jackass’s face, so I push him. Half of the room jumps up, and Will starts yelling. “What in the hell?” Jackass points at Jade just as the front door swings open. Adam is carrying his backpack and an armful of pizzas. “Can I get some help?” Adam yells and puts the pizzas down on the table. He looks around. “What in the hell is going on—wait a fucking minute.” He flies toward the jackass before I know what’s happening.

Will pushes Adam into me. I pull his arms behind his back. “I’ll fucking kill you! Get out of my goddamn house. You stupid motherfucker!” Jaden tears from the room, and I hear her door slam shut. Will tosses his hands in the air. “What in the hell is going on?” “Get him out,” Adam yells again. “In fact, all you motherfuckers get the hell out. Now!” Everyone files out, including Jackass who Adam tries—almost successfully, he’s stronger than he looks—to kick on his way out. Adam pries himself from my grip and rushes toward Jaden’s room. I glance at Will. “Don’t look at me. I have no idea what the fuck is going on.” Will rolls his eyes and follows the rest of the douchebags out the door.

Chapter Fourteen Jaden Justin just stood there, like nothing had happened. He tried to hug me. Touch me. Vomit threatens my throat, and I push it back down. I never wanted to see him again. Adam locks the door behind him and comes straight to my side, like he did when we were little, and pulls me to his chest. “He’s gone, Jade. I’m so sorry he was here. I can’t…he won’t be back.” I relax into his grip. “I thought I’d never see him again. I don’t want to.” Adam kisses the top of my head. “You won’t, Jade. You won’t.” He rocks me against him for a few seconds. “You’re okay, right?” I stop the sob riding on my lips and pull back. “Yeah.” “You’ve been gone a lot lately. Are you…” He trails off. “Sane?” I ask, trying desperately to keep the bitterness out of my voice. He’s just asking, but I hate it. I hate that anyone has to ask if I’ve gone crazy again. “I’m fine, Adam.” He groans. “I have to keep an eye on you.” “Because Dad checks in on me, right?” ”Dad’s not the only one that worries about you,” he whispers. After a few minutes of me ignoring him go by, he walks to the door. When he turns around, he looks tired and

beaten. I know I shouldn’t be so hard on him, but I have enough to worry about without him giving me the third degree. “I love you, Jade. You know that, right?” I push my hair from my wet cheeks. “I know.” He leaves, and I don’t stop him. I want to be alone. This can’t be happening again. I’m supposed to be free of these people. They both had scholarships to other schools. Why the hell are they still here? My cell goes off so I toss it to my nightstand and grab my medication. I change into some yoga pants and a tank top. As soon as I turn the lights down, I hear a soft rap of knuckles against my door. The light from the kitchen filters in, and Cade’s silhouette fills the doorway. My body reacts almost immediately. Just the thought of earlier sends a throbbing ache between my legs. “Can I come in?” His dark brow is heavy over his light eyes. I open the door wide and let him slip in before Adam sees. Cade takes a spot on my bed, his eyes glued to the prescription pill bottle sitting openly on my nightstand. I almost reach over and hide it but I just really don’t care at the moment. His eyes dart back to me, and he pats the mattress. “Come sit with me.” My nerves are all over the place. Just sitting by him, being close to his warmth, makes me jittery. “Are you okay?” he asks. I nod, making a little too much of an effort, and he frowns. “You can talk to me. I

mean, if you want to.” He scratches the back of his neck and ruffles his dark brown hair. “I’m fine.” I tuck my knees under my chin. He groans, hooking his index finger over the curve of my elbow and pulling me close. “Okay. I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you’re going to answer them. How about that?” “I don’t have to answer them if I don’t want. Stop bossing me around,” I say and pray I don’t sound as childish as I feel. Cade sighs and gently wraps his hand around my calf. “Why do you take medicine, Jade?” His voice has lowered an octave. The tip of his tongue hovers over his bottom lip as he gives me a heavy stare over hooded eyes. If sex had a face, it’d be him. I’m so aware of how close he is that I taste his cool breath. “Why do you want to know?” My breath quickens as he runs his index finger down my jaw to the hollow of my neck. “I want to know everything about you.” I take in the pleading look on his handsome face and give in as soon as he drops his gaze to my mouth. “Antidepressants,” I say. The hand that’s hooked around my calf trails up and down my leg. “Does that jackass who was here have something to do with it?” His voice is gruff. “I dated him in high school.” I go to tell him that Justin was my one time, but it gets stuck in my throat. “And he was dating another girl at the same time. When she found out—

she made my life a living hell.” I try to shrug away the pain, but by the pity etched on Cade’s face, I know I’m not hiding it well. The pad of his thumb rubs my knee, and I bite my lip to keep from melting into his touch. “It must have been bad.” “It feels like forever ago,” I say, but we both know I don’t think of it like that. I hurt more than I could ever imagine for something that happened a year ago. My one chance to outlive the humiliation was college and now she’s here. “Why don’t you drive?” he asks. I shake my head. Tears threaten my eyes and the humiliation eats its way up my throat. I’m sobbing before I know what to do. Cade pulls me against him, but it doesn’t feel like when Adam does it. It’s warmer. The safety I feel from my brother is nothing compared to what I feel with Cade. And it scares me. He leans down to my ear. “Come with me?” I watch him through tear-filled eyes as he stands and offers his hand. I take it without hesitation and let him guide me to the hallway. I wait as he disappears into his room, and watch the corner for Adam or Will. Then the warmth of Cade’s hand sears my lower back. He’s carrying blankets and pillows under one arm and pulls me behind him. For someone so large he walks so quietly. The stars are the first thing I notice as soon as we step out. I watch them as long as I can before we part to get into his truck.

*** “Where are we going?” I ask after twenty minutes of silence. Cade rests against his headrest, and when he turns to look at me he has an easy smile on his face. “You nervous, Jade?” I eye the wooded area and the gravel road we’re driving on. “Yeah, this looks like a good place to get murdered.” Cade grins. “You wouldn’t have gotten in the truck if you thought I wanted to kill you. Let’s stop kidding ourselves.” I cross my arms over my peaked nipples and watch the fog dance in front of my face with each breath. “It’s kind of cold. Are we sleeping out here?” Cade laughs and pulls onto another gravel road off the larger one. The trees thin and when he stops the truck, we’re in a huge field. Cade hops out, leaving me by myself. After a few minutes, I get out and wrap my arms around me. Cade is spreading out the last blanket in a pallet. He turns to me, his smile smooth and easy. “Coming?” The grip of his hand is tight as he lifts me into the bed of his truck. He guides me to the blanket, and then pulls the top two blankets over us. “Still cold?” His voice is so light, and I almost laugh because no one is here to hear us. But it feels nice to listen to the silence.

“Just a bit.” I feel the blanket ruffle and then his fingers find mine underneath the covers. Each calloused scrape of his hand against my soft one makes my thighs ache. “Better?” “Much.” “This is where I would go after I stole something when I was little,” he says. I turn and watch the side of his face as he stares upward. “My dad left when I was young because my mom was a drug addict. She wouldn’t pay the bills or feed me, so I stole to do it myself.” A wide grin stretches across his scruffy jaw. “I would come out here to sit and stare at the stars. I would hope someone was watching over me.” “Do you think there is?” Cade turns, his gaze heavy and focused. “I know there is a God, Jade. Without my mother ever telling me. Or my dad. I feel it in here.” He places our intertwined hands against my chest. The wind whips around us, and I snuggle close. He cups my face. “Maybe I shouldn’t bring this up, but I feel I need to. I didn’t turn you down today, Jaden,” he whispers. “You know that, right? I just want to…take it easy on you. For now.” For now? Me? My back arches, and I press myself against him. I can’t stand the feeling of not being closer. “But I am going to kiss you. All night if you want. Just let yourself feel safe and free tonight. Don’t worry about pills or jackasses, just me.” Cade’s lips hover an inch over mine. The way his

eyes darken and his fingers tighten around me, I can feel he needs control. And I need his control more than he will ever know. Teeth and lips graze up and down my neck, while his leg works its way between my thighs. “You always smell so goddamn good, Jaden,” he whispers, sucking at the hollow beneath my ear. I clench my thighs around his and try not to explode as he pushes against me. And as bad as I want to shake him and force him to take me, I know he’s right. I’ve had sex once—and I don’t even want to know how many times he’s had it. I’m new. One hand rises up my thigh, and I feel his finger pull at my yoga pants. I almost freeze, but it feels too good. I don’t want him to stop. When he finds my mouth, I’m already panting as he pulls the material over my hips to the middle of my thighs. His touch is featherlike up to the string of my underwear. He groans while palming my ass. He pulls me closer and a little squeal leaves my throat. “You call these underwear,” he whispers against my ear. He takes my earlobe between his teeth and bites down gently, snapping my panties. I hold in my gasp as he moves the fabric to the side. The anticipation coursing through me heightens. The growl that leaves his throat when he traces his finger down the smooth mound of my core sends my thoughts straight to the gutter with no return. “No hair,” he says. “That’s the biggest fucking turn on, Jaden.” I latch onto his biceps and hold my trembling

body against his. I can’t take it. I need some kind of touch. He pulls back, his green eyes hardly visible by the dim light of the moon and stars. I watch his eyes as he trails the tip of his middle finger down and spreads me wide with his hand. One finger traces small circles on the inside of my thigh, making me dizzy. When he presses his finger into me, I clench tight, my head falling back against the pillows. My eyes drift closed as he claims my mouth with his, dipping his tongue into me over and over while his finger moves to a similar rhythm. “Oh, God,” I whimper. I haven’t had pleasure caused by someone else in so long I can’t remember how it feels. Cade’s calloused palm pushes harder against me. I’m so wet I should be embarrassed, but I’m so turned on that my vision is heavy and blurry. “Feel it, baby,” he whispers. “Let yourself go for me.” And I do. I grind my hips against his hand, and he quickens the pace, whispering things as my climax grows higher and higher. He bites a rough path down my throat to my collarbone. The pressure of his thumb rubbing over my clit sends me over the edge. I free fall into the most embarrassing half-scream, half-moan and slump back against the pillow. Cade leaves his finger inside of me while he kisses his way to my lips. The moon casts a beam on his face as he pulls his finger from me and sticks it in his mouth. He sucks it to the back of his throat and pulls it out slowly before licking his lips. “You taste so goddamn sweet.”

The heat in my neck scorches my face, and I’m thankful for the darkness. Cade crawls underneath the covers and pulls me back against him. “Do you feel better?” he asks. “You have no idea,” I say. “It’s been…a while.” He snorts, and I feel his hardness against my ass. “I can fucking tell. You’re so goddamn tight.” I bite my lip to keep from moaning. The thought of me making him feel like that is the best feeling in the world. “I bet you’re blushing right now,” he adds. I giggle like the fourteen-year-old girl that I feel like. “And I’d bet you’d be right.” His laugh slides over my skin and before I know it, I’m drifting into the darkness of the night. *** The gentle jerking of my shoulder wakes me. When I sit up, I’m looking out over a field, the warm sun heating my skin. I blink once, twice, and then look over to see Cade sliding off the tailgate. “Your brother hasn’t stopped calling,” he says. What? I rub my head and then remember everything that happened last night. I instantly feel like I’m a hundred degrees, and I try to hide my blush with my hair. Cade laughs and tosses me my yoga pants. “As sweet as that blush is to look at, we’ve got to get you home. Adam’s been calling, cussing me out, and asking if I’ve seen you.” He grabs his shirt, and I watch as he covers the hard lines of his abs.

Reality sets in, and I fumble around for my panties. “They’re ripped in my pocket,” he says, the side of his mouth rising. “And that’s where they’re staying. Even if they weren’t ripped I’d be keeping them.” I hurry into my pants and slide out of the truck while Cade stuffs the blankets under his toolbox. I trudge through the grassy field, but Cade whips me around and pushes me against the truck. His tongue invades my mouth and laps at me until I’m melting into him. When he pulls back, he’s smiling. “I would advise we leave the whole ‘coming on my hand’ thing out when we tell Adam where we’ve been.” “Only if you stop talking about it.” He grins, running his hand down to settle on my hip. “Embarrassed, Princess?” He nips my lip. “Don’t be. Because it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen…or heard.” I shove his chest, and he opens the door for me. “Now we need to decide what we are going to say.” I frown. “Oh, shit.” *** The vein in Adam’s head is popping out when we open the front door. To make it worse, Will stands beside him with his arms over his chest. Adam lets out a bitter laugh, and I instantly intertwine my fingers behind my back and wait for the yelling like I’m eight-years-old. “Where in the fuck have you two been all night?”

Cade steps forward, his hand outstretched in a “we come in peace” kind of way. “Jade was upset last night, and I thought getting away from here would help. So we went out to this field I know—” “What?” Adam flings himself toward Cade, and I hurry between them. “No!” I yell, shoving my forearm against Adam’s chest. “We fell asleep. It was so quiet, and I just fell asleep. Cade didn’t want to wake me, so we slept, separately, there.” Adam’s staring over my head at Cade, and I wish I could see the look on his face. “Cade, don’t you fucking do this to me. Don’t you fucking do it. If there is anything going on…so help me I will beat the living fuck out of you.” I want to reach over and slap the hell out of him. It isn’t his business what I do. But I don’t. Cade’s body is stiff, and when I don’t hear him deny it, I start to get worried. But then I feel Cade place a hand on my shoulder and he nods. “She’s just as much a little sister to me as she is to you.” Lie. Lie. Lie. I nervously swallow, and Will’s dark gaze catches mine. His button-down is neatly pressed and tucked into his jeans. He taps the tip of his finger against his bottom lip as he stares at me from underneath his blond bangs. I look the other way and step back when I feel Adam take the pressure off my arm. He looks down and ruffles my hair. “You okay?” “Yeah. I’m just going to get ready for class.” I slip out

of the crosshairs before anyone can ask any more questions.

Chapter Fifteen Cade I screw my eyes closed and stroke my hand up and down my cock. The scalding shower water rushes down me, heating and soothing my body. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. The softness of her skin or the delicious sweet taste of her mouth. Don’t even get me started about how tight her pussy was around my finger. I wanted to go hulk mode on her—rip her clothes, my clothes, everybody’s fucking clothes, but the panties were probably enough. I groan as I come and watch as it washes down the drain. Where it needs to stay. But by the rate I’m going, I won’t be able to keep myself out of her for too much longer. That innocent gaze, the smart mouth hidden beneath such a submissive demeanor. How could anyone not want her? I finish my shower and get ready to go pick Jaden up for work. I’ve been avoiding Adam since this morning. He’s never tried to fight me before, but I’d never messed around with his sister before either. I can’t believe he even bought my shit to be honest. I grab a drink from the fridge, and my hand is on the door when I hear Will scoot a kitchen stool across the tile. He’s sitting down, leaning his elbow against the bar. “Fun night, Cade?”

My keys jingle as I dig them from my pocket. “I had a great night.” Will nods before sliding his hands over the countertop. “I’m sure you did. I can only imagine the fun you had with sweet Jaden Baker.” “Is there a point to this conversation?” He grinds his teeth together and stands. “Nothing serious. Just letting you know that I’m not stupid. And I know you better than you think I do.” I give him a salute. “Good to know. Now fuck off, douchebag.” I slam the front door before he has a chance to respond. Asshole. *** Jaden pulls the ponytail from her hair and lets the strands cascade across her shoulders. She stuffs her work shirt into her bag and zips it up. She eyes her car sitting in the opened garage with a smile on her face as she settles into my passenger seat. I started working on it today. It’s going to be a pain in my ass, but a deal’s a deal. “Ready to go?” She gives me a look and shakes her head. “Not really. Adam asked me to cook tonight, and I don’t want to cook them anything.” I start the truck and pull out onto the road. “Well, don’t. You don’t have to cook for them.” It feels good that she doesn’t want to cook for Will. Jade smiles and fiddles with the fringe on her jeans.

“We could just go to the cafeteria and eat. I promise you won’t find Will there.” She furrows her brow. “Will? Who says I’m hiding from Will?” I groan. “No one. I was just hoping you were. He gave me the third degree today when I came to get you.” She crinkles her nose. “Yeah, he was giving me this weird stare this morning when we came in from school before work.” “Dude’s a fucking douchebag.” “I sensed that.” *** When we get to the cafeteria it’s already seven. We find a booth in the far back corner of the room. Once we’ve started eating, I glance across the table and watch her eat. “What’s with all of those pictures in your room?” I swallow a mouthful of mashed potatoes and point my spoon at her. “You want to travel or something?” She smiles and takes a sip of her drink. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to since I was a little girl. That’s what my savings are for. I’m glad Dan’s letting me keep some of it.” “Why don’t you just ask your dad for the money? Adam says he’s always handing it out.” Jaden’s smile falls, and she picks at her food. “Dad will give us whatever we want, but I want to work for mine. Plus, Dad wouldn’t give me money to travel because he can’t keep an eye on me if I’m overseas somewhere.”

Jaden looks up, and her face pales. With one hand holding my fork, I carefully turn around and see what she’s staring at. The same brunette who was in Dan’s that time is sitting on Jackass’s lap. She has her arm snaked around his neck and whispers into his ear while he stares our way. When he sees me looking he jerks his head the other way and pretends to be interested in what the brunette bitch is saying. I turn back to Jaden, staring down at her plate. “Hey, I’ll be right back. You want anything?” She shakes her head but keeps her eyes glued to her food. I slide my chair back and trudge across the cafeteria to the ice cream bar. I wait in line behind a couple who are both trying to decide what the other one wants. I groan and crane my neck to look at Jaden. She’s still sitting with her head down and pretending to eat. “What do you think?” “What?” I turn toward the guy in front of me who’s holding a bowl in one hand and a cone in the other. The girl next to him gives me a smile and points toward the cone. “The cone is better, right?” I scratch my neck. Who cares? “Uh…I’m not the one eating it. Just pick one.” The guy shrugs me off and turns back to his girlfriend. Christ, can a man get some ice cream around here? I crane my neck to get another look at Jaden and this time I see the girl standing behind her with a cup hovering over her head. The guys at the table in front of her are laughing, but she won’t look up to see. Shit. I bolt

forward, shoving people out of my way to get to her in time. “Don’t you fucking dare, bitch,” I say, trying my best to keep my composure. The brunette jerks back and spills the drink down the front of her shirt. Her eyes are blazing when she looks back up. “Asshole!” “They aren’t anything to look at anyway,” I say, offering Jaden my hand. “Do it again, I don’t care if you’re a girl, I’ll knock your cock-sucking ass on your knees where you need to be.” A loud group of laughter erupts from the guys. She grinds her teeth together and stares at Jaden as she takes my hand. “I’ll get you next time, bitch.” “No, you won’t. You’re going to sit your skanky ass back down at the table. Maybe ask your boyfriend why he hasn’t stuck up for you once,” I say. I guide Jaden out of the cafeteria before any professors or workers come over to investigate. Jaden doesn’t say anything on the way to the truck. *** Her eyes settle on the dash while she clutches the edge of her seat. “It’s a long story,” she whispers, her breath as soft as she looks. Nodding, I slide over and wrap my arm around the back of her seat, guiding her against me. “We’ve got time.” The sadness that takes over her face makes me want to kill the person that did this to her, but I rub circles on

the back of her neck as she sinks back to tell me what happened. “We’d been seeing each other for about three weeks when it happened. Everything had finally fallen into place. I’d loved him since I first saw him in the seventh grade. He had just moved to our school and I hardly knew anything about him, but there wasn’t one person in the world that could have told me he wasn’t meant for me.” A tear falls down her face. “He was my one time.” ***

Jaden My palms were so sweaty I could hardly keep my keys from falling from my hand. I quickly shoved them down inside of my purse and tried to steady myself. Justin’s front door looked as intimidating as a grizzly bear. Trying again, I slid my palms against my jeans and took yet another steady breath. I took the steps up to his house and knocked quietly. Half of me wanted Justin to open the door and the other half was praying he didn’t hear. His father was out of town on some orthodontist convention and his mother was with him. That left Justin with the house to himself—with me. The furthest we’d gone was touching each other, but nothing underneath the clothes. But I could feel the pace shifting that way, and I

wasn’t sure if I was ready. But I stood there looking at his front door anyway. When it opened, he was standing on the other side, sweats on, a tank top, and socks. The easy smile I fell into was accompanied by an overwhelming look of lust on his face. He was definitely interested in taking it further. “Come in,” he said. I’d been in his house once for a party the year before. But this time it wasn’t filled with raging drunken teenagers. It was just us. The door clicked behind me, and I jumped when I felt his hand wrap around my waist. The feeling of his breath on my neck was the only thing I could focus on. “Come to my room.” And all he had to do was ask. Even though my head was spinning with rational thoughts, I went because I wanted to feel his arms around me. He opened the door for me and I walked into his room. It looked mostly the same as the time before, when I’d snuck in with Jennifer during a party. And as much as I wanted to look around, I couldn’t take my eyes off of his bed. “You look nervous,” he said, grabbing my purse and tossing it on his desk chair. His messy hair was shoved out of his face, giving me a clear view of his wandering eyes. It looked like he was already fucking me in his head. Without my purse, I shoved my hands into my

jeans and nodded. “Just a little.” His smile made my knees shake. “That’s okay. We won’t be nervous in a minute.” He walked toward his bed and lied down in the middle. Curling his finger, he gestured for me to join him. And against my better judgment, I did. Justin clicked on the TV but didn’t even look its direction. His eyes raked me up and down, his fingers twitching to touch me. Before I knew it, he was on top of me, kissing his way down my neck. Panic consumed me, and I tried to take a few quick breaths but his hands had already found my zipper. “You’re so fucking hot,” he said, ripping my jeans down and leaving them around one of my ankles. The TV blared in the background, and all I could hear was the Cops theme song and his heavy breathing as he pulled my panties down the same way he did my jeans. His woodsy scent was suffocating me. The pressure of his body on mine while he tore the condom with his teeth was squeezing what breath I had left out of me. When he settled between my legs, I didn’t feel ready. I felt dry, nervous, and the pounding of my heart took over my hearing. The TV fell away, his heavy breathing drifted from my consciousness. Thump. Thump. Thump. Hard against my ribs. When he began to push his way in, my hands gripped the

covers. I couldn’t touch him—I couldn’t. Fear was tearing me up from the inside. “Fuck,” he said, but all I could see was him mouthing it. Any sounds from him were gone, covered by the thumping in my head. My legs tightened around him, but he didn’t stop. He slammed harder and harder into me, not caring that my mouth hung open in pain. One hand gripped my hip while he held himself up with the other. Even with his lips an inch away, he never lowered his head to kiss me. Not once. His hips rolled and moved harder and farther into me, but all I could feel was him tearing me. Hurting me. Rubbing me raw. When the tears formed in my eyes, I felt him jerk and still. I didn’t move when he pulled out of me and disposed of the bloody condom. Or when he went in the shower to clean himself off. I stared at his high ceiling and watched as dust fell from one of the blades of the ceiling fan. “Your underwear is on the floor. You probably need to get off the bed so I can wash the sheets.” Slowly, I lifted myself from the mattress and slipped into my clothes. I didn’t ask if I should stay because I knew the answer. He was done with me. And I let him toss me out like yesterday’s trash. ***

Cade

Jaden’s tears have stopped. The hiccup sob has disappeared too. Now the only sound left is a heavy silence hanging over us like a rain cloud. Anger I haven’t felt in so long burns inside me. That fucking jackass fucked her like that? Her first time and he didn’t even try to get her off. All he was worried about was his small prick. I may have had plenty of girls in my time, but I’m not getting off until she comes. Period. Her small hands wipe underneath her eyes. “That girl in the cafeteria? Her name is Selena. When I asked if they were together he told me no.” Of course, he did. And now she has to pay the price for him fucking her over. Goddamn it. I slam my fists on the dashboard and then again. Over and over until I feel blood against the leather. Jaden pulls on my arm, and I brace myself against the truck. Her small hand tightens. “It was a long time ago. I shouldn’t have even told you.” I groan and rest my head against the seat. “That was your one time? That, Jaden?” I force a laugh and try to contain the frustration coursing through me. “That was not sex. That was him getting what he wants and not worrying about you.” I run my palm over the nape of her neck. I study her innocent eyes and flawless face. I’m going to demolish the memory of him and have her. “Come with me.” She nods before I ask anything else. But I’m sure she has no idea what I really have planned. I can’t help what Selena has done but I can show her how she’s supposed to

feel. Sliding into the driver’s seat, I start my truck and haul ass out of the cafeteria parking lot. Jaden sits perfectly still as we make our way across town and then down my mother’s road. I see her gaze drifting from mine to my mother’s house which is now coming into view. “What are we doing?” she finally asks. The truck comes to a screeching halt in front of my childhood home. I pull my keys out and turn toward Jaden. “Tell Adam you’re going back home to spend the night.” Her brows pull down in the middle. “What?” I growl. “Don’t make me change my mind, Jaden. Call Adam and tell him you’re going home. You’re staying with me tonight. I’m going to show you how having sex is supposed to feel.” I shut the door and make my way up the stairs. I can only imagine the shocked look on her face. But when I see the light from her phone flicker on, I know she won’t leave me here alone. I’m going to fuck her right.

Chapter Sixteen Jade Adam doesn’t believe me, I know it. But I couldn’t get him off the phone fast enough. He kept threatening to call Dad, but frankly, I don’t give a shit. When a hot guy—that you’ve been drooling over—tells you he’s going to show you how sex is supposed to feel, you do as he says. Especially if that guy is Cade. My legs tremble as I walk through the front door. The house is still mostly messy, and the evidence of DEAD BITCH is still spray painted on the dining room wall, which we didn’t finish the other day. Cade isn’t in the kitchen, so I follow the hallway back to the other side of the house. The light flicks on from the second door down and then I hear the shower. I feel like hummingbirds are fluttering inside me. The door creaks as I push it open, causing Cade to spin around. His shirt is off, lying on the floor beside his bare feet. Each ripple of his abdomen is chiseled, his hip bones protruding, making my fingers twitch with the anticipation of touching him. His low-slung jeans are ripped at the knees, giving him a grungy look that makes me throb between my legs. He lifts one finger and curls it toward himself, and I automatically obey. But the feeling of angst isn’t here. It’s something much deeper that’s urging me forward. His gaze holds mine as I stop just a few inches from

him. His smell slides over me, etching its way under my skin. “Did he believe you?” I smile and shake my head. “Not a chance.” He sighs, brushing my hair off my shoulder. “He’ll find out.” “I don’t think I care.” Cade nods slowly, dragging this thumb over my collarbone and up to the side of my neck. “Neither do I.” He examines my face for a while before leaning in and pressing his mouth against me. It’s warm and inviting. His teeth nip and suck at my lip until I’m only standing because his fully inked arm is wrapped around me. The wetness between my legs weighs me down. It’s the only thing I can focus on. I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet in my life. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against mine and covers my hips with each open palm. “Do you want me?” he whispers, his hooded gaze watching me closely. “Yes.” I hate myself for how soft it comes out. “Bad,” I say again, trying to regain my composure, but he’s pressing himself against me. I fight the urge to think about seeing him naked in my bed—just the evidence of his morning wood made me squirm. And now I understand why he’s worried about me. I’m way out of my league. I swallow the nervous lump in my throat and tighten my fingers in the belt loops of his jeans.

“I know I said that I couldn’t do this because I don’t want to hurt you,” he says. “And that’s mostly still true, but I can show you that it’s not supposed to feel like that. It’s not supposed to feel like nothing. It’s supposed to feel fucking great—for both of us.” I have no doubt in my mind that it will be. Carefully, I lift my gaze and give him a look that I hope shows him how much I want him. I guess it does because my shirt is off and on the floor before I can blink. Embarrassment swarms me the minute I realize I’m in my bra. I’ve always been ashamed of my breasts. I’m only a B and compared to the one girl I’ve seen around him, I know they’re pathetic. My eyes fall as soon as I wrap my arm around my chest. Cade makes an aggravated noise and pulls both of my arms and holds them behind my back. “You want me to show you how you’re supposed to feel, right? You want to do this with me, don’t you?” He tightens his grip. “Stop hiding from me. I won’t hurt you, I swear.” I relax my shoulders and stay still as he lets go of my wrists and pushes me against the nearest wall. His mouth hovers over the hollow of my neck before nipping his way toward my jaw, licking behind each bite. My panties are soaking wet, and I almost die when I feel him slip his fingers down the front of my jeans. “You’re so goddamn wet, baby,” he says before taking my mouth with his. I focus on his tongue dipping into my mouth and exploring me like he can’t get enough, while he works my jeans over my hips and down my ankles. His featherlike

touch caresses up my legs and around the curve of my ass as he stands back up, hovering over me, protecting me with his wall of muscle. One hand gently trails over my ribs and to the clasp of my bra. A hooded, stormy gaze traps me in my place against the wall. He never looks away as he unhooks my bra and slips the straps off with so much experience I blush. Seconds tick by before he looks down at my chest. The devilish look on his handsome face makes me squirm. “I was going to take a shower because of work but I don’t think I can manage it,” he grunts. “Put me out of my misery. Say we don’t have to take it.” I forgot the shower was even running. I can’t imagine having to bathe before getting this. Or having him so close to me, touching me, and not moving forward. “Fuck the shower,” I whisper. *** Excitement flashes in his eyes, the shower is turned off, and I’m in his arms. The walk to his room is short, his strides long and determined. I focus on the stubble of his jaw and his strong cheekbones. When the door shuts behind him, I swallow the large nervous lump in my throat. My back hits the mattress, and he’s suddenly over me, blocking out my safe view of the ceiling. Then I feel his mouth on my breasts, his other arm pulling me closer to him as he sucks my nipple. I arch my back and twine my fingers into his dark hair and pull. I’ve never had anyone pay any

attention to my boobs before—well lack thereof—and it feels amazing. All the embarrassment floats away, and I’m being sucked into a blissful heaven. His other hand runs down my back and grabs a handful of my ass, pulling me closer to him. “Goddammit,” he growls, nipping a path down my flat stomach to my core. He’s going to no man’s land. I feel his mouth there first, on the inside of my thigh. The bites and licks make my stomach heavy with a need only he can fix. Then his fingers pull me open and his tongue laps me into oblivion. My scream is so blissful that I’m jealous to hear it. Spreading my legs wide, Cade holds me down by my thighs and runs his tongue over me again and again. I’m shaking when I grab his hair and push him down farther. Which gets me a low growl and then he starts to nip his way up me—gently. My vision is blurry and my head dizzy like I’m on a rollercoaster ride. My gentle shake is rocking through me now. An eruption of heat and shivers dominate me in every way. And just when I’m about to come, Cade bites down on my clit and shoves two fingers deep inside of me. I scream so loud my ears rattle from the volume of it. I’m rocking, shaking, and everything in between. Cade’s hand moves up my stomach to grip the back of my neck and forces me to look at him as I finish my orgasm. My eyes flutter closed and he tightens his grip. “Open.” And I do…just as I come down from the highest high

I’ve ever felt. I see the evidence of me on his mouth, and my cheeks heat. A panty-dropper smile curls up his mouth before he presses it against mine. Knowing I’m tasting myself should be weird, but it isn’t. The way he groans and invades my mouth with his tongue, I know he loves it. And so do I. “Are you ready for me?” He lowers his head, and I listen to his heavy breathing, take in the sweet smell of his hair before slowly nodding. “You don’t sound too confident, sweetheart.” He grabs my hand, placing it over the large lump in the front of his jeans. “I said, are you fucking ready?” God. I stretch my fingers around him and run my hand down his length. Something inside of me aches, and I grind my hips up toward his. “Yes.” He reaches over me and digs around in a small nightstand for what seems like forever, and when he pulls back he’s pale as a ghost. “I don’t have a condom.” He grinds his teeth together and rakes his fingers through his hair. “Fucking shit. I don’t have a condom.” “I’m on the pill,” I say. “How long?” I let out a shaky breath when I feel his fingers trail up my outer thigh. “Two years.” He groans, and my fears dissolve. Our gazes are locked, but I’m so tempted to look down as he pulls his jeans over his thighs and kicks them off the bed. When he comes back up, I can see everything squeezed into his boxer briefs.

“You’re sure?” he rasps out. I nod. “Completely.” He nods and gives me a wolfish grin. “Good. Hold on tight, sweetheart.” All the hesitation from him—from me —has evaporated. He rolls his underwear down his legs. He sighs as he spreads me open with his thigh and settles in. “I’ve wanted to know what it would feel like to be over you for a while now.” I swallow and try not to dwell on his dick pressing against me. “What’s it feel like? Live up to your expectations?” Another wolfish grin. “Absolutely.” He clears his throat and settles himself above me, one forearm resting by my head and keeping me up while the other one guides his dick against me. “Now.” His voice is raspy, low. “Let’s see how you like me inside you. If I hurt you, tell me. If you want more, tell me.” A silence takes over the room, while we stare at each other. His green eyes are dark, and he never loses contact as he slides into me. A deep ache tears the moment he pushes an inch farther. I drop my head and a painfully blissful scream rips through my throat. Cade drops forward, bracing his other forearm on the other side of me, and presses his forehead against me. “Holy mother of God,” he mumbles, sliding into me again. He shivers on top of me, and roughly grips the nape of my neck. “You’re so goddamn tight. Fuck.” His voice is a grave whisper in my ear, but all I can focus on is him inside of me. So big.

“Relax your body, baby. Let me in,” he whispers. “Once I’m in, you won’t want me to leave. I swear.” I obey, spreading my legs wider and relaxing into the comfort of his bed. My head rests on the pillow as he pushes more of himself into me, and every part shivers for him. “More,” I whisper. When I lift my gaze, I almost gasp at the look on his face. His forehead is pinched in concentration, and those luscious lips are parted. Something animalistic—raw, rough—radiates from him. He grabs my ass and thrusts himself all the way in, his tongue muffling my cry. I widen for his girth, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist and pushing him farther into me. The painful pinch is being overpowered by the pleasure of him as he quickens his pace. Little sounds I never thought I’d make escape my throat with each thrust. “Cade,” I choke out, not sure why I’m even speaking. I can’t seem to find my breath. He growls, grabs my hips, and positions them upward, sending him harder, faster, and farther into me. I yelp out, my fingers digging into the hard muscles of his shoulders. Cade’s eyes flutter closed, and he pounds into my channel harder than I ever thought possible. He feels so good that I don’t care that I’m shivering and panting. I need him. With a growl of restraint he pulls out of me and before I know it I’m being turned around on all fours. I feel his body hovering over mine, his hot breath trailing over my

back and up to my neck. His cock presses against my ass and my wetness runs down my thighs. “You okay?” he rasps against my neck. I nod, clenching the covers for support and ease. His calloused hands run up my backside, over the arch in my back, up to the nape of my neck where he grips my hair in his big hand. “Tell me.” Through a dizzy haze, I dig up an appropriate answer. “I’m fine.” He laughs, reaching around me to rub the pad of his finger against my clit. “You like the way I feel?” Another nod. “You want more, Jaden?” Easing backwards, I don’t stop until I’m grinding against him. “Say it,” he growls. “Yes, more. Please.” I’m so delirious that when he pushes into me from behind, a giggle pops out of my mouth, and I arch my back to give him a better view. He plunges deeper into me, his hands digging into my ass as he pounds me from behind, unmercifully forcing himself into me like he’ll never get another chance. I’m so wet and swollen, but he feels so good that all I care about is climbing higher and higher with this man. It feels so right that I bury my head into the pillow and scream. Cade’s hands slide up my back and force me into the pillow. With each thrust, I lose more control of myself, and Cade knows it. He plunders my channel until I’m

shaking, begging for release. And when he leans down and bites my shoulder, his hot mouth whispering my name, I let go. My muscles tighten around his shaft, and he growls out incoherencies before making the hottest half-growl, halfmoan that I’ve ever heard and spilling into me. His cock jerks, sending me further over the edge than my own selfpleasure has ever gotten me. My skin is covered with a soft film of sweat, but I don’t move just yet. I listen to the heavy sound of Cade breathing behind me. Both hands are still latched onto my hips. Slowly, I feel Cade pull away from me, leaving me lonely and cool against the sheets. A thought dancing along the back of my mind is trying to crawl its way upward. Is he

going to leave you? But I force it away when I feel Cade run his fingertip under my chin and force me to look at him. A cocky smile rises from his lips. My eyes betray me and travel down his stomach. “You’re blushing again.” I roll my eyes and turn to hide myself with a pillow. “You’re not blushing.” He laughs. “Of course not. There’s no shame in my game, Princess. Now, are you going to come take a shower with me, or do we need to go for round two?” I swallow and take his hand, trying my best to keep my composure. I am completely naked in front of him. He gently bows and gestures his arm outward. “Ladies first.”

I tilt my head upward and walk as calmly as I can out of the room. I smile when he lets out a loud wolf whistle. *** “You smell like me,” Cade whispers as I open the front door and step onto his porch. The fresh air hits me, and I melt into the fragrance of food coming from someone’s house nearby. The setting sun reflects off Cade’s dark-as-midnight hair and makes his green eyes glow. “Am I blushing?” He smirks. “What do you think?” “Of course.” The wind blows my hair around my face, and he pushes it behind my ear, running his thumb against my jaw, then lip. “Adam is right to keep you away from his friends. Because now that I’m here, I’m not leaving.” “Promise?” He nods, trailing his fingers down my arm before linking them with my own. “I haven’t had feelings for a girl in a really long time, Jade. I like you, a lot. Your smile. That innocent look. Jade, you don’t even fucking understand how bad I want to drag you back inside.” If I was blushing before, I can only imagine how pink my cheeks are now. “Ditto,” I say. Sighing, he squeezes my hand and tosses his head toward the truck. “Now, let’s go see if we can trick Adam again.” I snort. “I’ve been doing it for years.”

The ride back home doesn’t take nearly long enough. Before I know it we’re pulling into the parking lot. I nervously pull at my hair and turn to look at Cade. “We’ll be fine,” he says, but it seems more like he’s trying to reassure himself rather than me. I frown but jump out of the truck. The walk up the stairs is torture. Were the stairs this long before? When my feet hit the WELCOME mat, I freeze and stare at the closed door, listening to Adam and Will’s voices behind it. I know that we should probably walk in separately but I’m scared to face Adam alone. “Just act normal,” I say, turning to look at Cade. He gives me an amused smile. “You don’t look any different, baby. Maybe a little more pep in your step, but he can’t tell you’ve just had sex.” I roll my eyes. “I know that. I’m just nervous that he’s going to catch on about us—whatever this is—and I don’t want to deal with it.” Cade steps forward, sweeping those sultry green eyes over my face, and sliding his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck. “We’ll tell him eventually. One day.” He grins. “But not today. Just act normal. I’ve got this.” I take his word and follow him into the condo. The TV casts a glow over the dark living room, and I make out Adam on the loveseat and Will on the coffee table, playing Assassin’s Creed. As soon as they see us the game is paused and they’re both up. “Where have you been?” Adam crosses his arms. He looks more and more like Dad every day.

My hands start to shake, and I push them down into the depths of my pockets. I look to Cade for help, and I see he’s not standing beside me. Then I feel something cold slide over my shoulder, and I reach up to catch the Coke Cade is offering me. I take it, pop the top, and take the biggest drink I can manage. Adam narrows his eyes and looks at Cade, who is pretending to text on his phone, which I know is dead. “Jaden had some homework to do at the library, and I picked her up afterwards and dropped her off at her dad’s house last night.” He takes a sip, then shoves his phone into his pocket. “Any more questions, Dad?” Will clears his throat, and I almost groan, because I thought he would have left by now. “Jaden, you sure do have a lot of homework for a freshman. Do you need help in any of your classes?” A sleazy smile is plastered on his face, and I can tell he’s forcing it to stay there. “Not from you,” Cade snaps and my body stiffens. “Why so serious, Cade?” Will lifts a blond brow and gives Adam a look I can’t decipher. “I was just offering.” Cade loosens his tight grip on the Coke and gives me a look so quickly that I can’t even be sure he did it. “Goodnight, guys. See you tomorrow.” Both boys watch him walk off—swagger dripping off him—and then turn back to look at me. I give them both a weak smile and dart off toward my room to sit in blissful silence on my bed. As I pull off each article of clothing, I imagine his hands on me. His calloused touch, rough grip, and hot

mouth on me. I’ll sleep fine tonight. Before I slip into bed, I reach to turn off the lamp when I see my pills sitting there. A silly smile and a minute later, I’m shoving my pills into the first drawer I see and sliding into bed with anticipation of a night’s sleep I’ve been dying for.

Chapter Seventeen Cade Jaden: You’re getting a lap dance right now, aren’t you?

I grin at the text and quickly reply underneath the table. Adam’s fist keeps hitting the bar in response to the game we’re watching. He’s already half-drunk, but I don’t tell him to knock it off because I don’t want to draw attention to myself. It’s only a matter of time before one of them asks why I’m not chasing a girl or drowning myself in booze. Cade: No can do. I’m only allowed to touch your ass, remember?

I shove my phone into my pocket, and see Will staring at me when I look up. Taking my beer bottle, I guzzle it and sit it back on the table. “Why are you staring at me?” Will tips back his beer and shrugs, brushing his perfectly quaffed hair out of his face. All the more reason he’s a douchebag. “Just wondering why you’re not drinking much. Or trying to hook up with some poor girl.” “Bullshit! That was a shitty call, ref! Come on!” Adam throws his hands up and his beer comes down on his head. “Fuck,” he mumbles and rubs his scalp. “Yeah, Cade. Why aren’t you bringing the hotties to us anymore? You get the hot girls’ attention and the other hot girls follow.” He leans over, cups his hands in a failed attempt to hide his voice, and says, “I need some pussy, man. Come on and bring ‘em in for me.” He laughs, sending his funk breath in my

face. I push him back and take another drink. “You could get them yourself if you’d brush those teeth of yours. Damn, bro. No wonder the ladies are staying away.” Not like I really want to attract anyone. I haven’t been able to think about anybody but Jaden. The soft curves of her little body pressed against me. I push back a groan and think of dead puppies and homeless babies. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I dig it back out. Jaden: That’s right. If you’re good, I may sneak into your room tonight.

“Goddammit,” I whisper. “I’ll say,” Adam says, pointing the tip of his bottle toward the floor behind us. As soon as I see what he’s pointing at, I turn around and cup my hand over my face. Dammit, Sadie is behind us by the jukebox. Adam waves at her, and I kick him underneath the table. “Don’t call her over here, Adam. Stop. Stop. Stop it.” But he’s far too gone to care. Will grabs a chip from the basket on the table and smiles. “And why are you denying yourself some pussy, Cade? Someone special waiting for you?” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Will is talking about Jaden. Anger settles in my lower stomach, the sneer on Will’s face is making me sick, but someone’s smooth hand running down my chest from behind me stops me from jumping across the table and shoving my fist down Will’s throat. “Cade,” she whispers, her blond hair falling over my

shoulder. “Why haven’t you called me?” She giggles. “Like you thought I would.” I pull her hand off my shoulder and guide her toward Adam. “He’s lonely,” I say, giving her a wink. The skin between her brows furrow, and she slams her fists down on her hips and turns on her heel to leave. “Come back!” Adam yells. “My dick is way bigger than his. I can make you scream, girl.” I snort and shake my head while I take another long sip of my beer. The truth is that I don’t even want to have sex with anyone else. This feeling is new to me. I’m not normally a one girl kind of guy. But I like her. And I’m starting to realize why she’s so different. She’s broken, like me. Heartbroken. Beaten mentally until you break and withdraw from your real self. Until you can’t even remember who you really are. “Someone is seriously thinking over there.” Adam laughs and slaps my back. “What’s got you all quiet and not up trolling for some ass?” Will’s chuckle forces me to grip my leg to keep from knocking him across the room. I see it on his face. That forceful arrogance that is desperately trying to cover up for the fact that he wants Jaden, and she doesn’t want him. “I’m tired. Been working at the garage a lot lately.” Adam nods and gestures for the bartender to bring him another drink. Like he needs it. I quickly message Jade and hide my phone. Cade: I think I need to see a picture of what we’re wagering before I agree.

When I look back up, Will’s seat is empty. The waitress drops off Adam’s drink and slides a piece of paper my way. Adam wiggles his eyebrows and opens the paper for me. “You’ve got a name, address, and telephone number, bro.” He dangles the slip in front of me. “You gonna lay it down tonight?” I snatch the paper, crumple it, and toss it on the table. “Didn’t I just tell you I was tired? Are you really that drunk?” “I’m not drunk,” he says as straight-faced as he can before tossing his head back in laughter. “I’ve got two-aday’s coming up for baseball, and I’m trying to enjoy myself, but my best friend is tossing all the pussy out for other guys to grab. And I thought we were friends.” “Don’t you want another beer?” I ask him. With a serious face, he nods. “Always.” The bar is starting to fill up by the time Adam starts his fourth drink. Adam is already completely drunk when I leave him making out with a girl in his chair. When I push my way into the bathroom, I hold my nose and lock the door with my other hand. The rundown bathroom is in worse condition than last time. Puke is spewed over the floor and half of the urinal. My phone bings and I pull up Jade’s text. Despite the stench, the fabric of my jeans stretch as my dick moves. Goddamn. I stare at the picture of her ass in those goddamn boy-short panties. We’re definitely leaving soon, whether Adam throws a fit or not—I’ll drag his drunk ass out.

Because we’re going home. Without touching anything around me, I relieve myself and flush it with my foot. This place is gross, cheap and dirty, which makes it a mating ground for broke, horny college kids. When I walk out of the bathroom, I run into a small brunette with her back to me. She’s got her hands snaked around Will’s neck and her back arched out, pressing herself against him. “Excuse you,” she snaps and twirls around to look at me. I flinch and tighten my hand to keep from reacting on instinct and knocking her ass out. It’s the brunette girl from the cafeteria. She gives me a sultry smile. “Hi. I think we’ve met.” “Unfortunately. Fuck off, Barbie.” I tilt myself to the side to get a good look at the poor bastard. “Get lost, Cade. We’re busy.” I open my mouth, then snap it shut. With a small salute, I trudge through the sloppy drunks and find my table flipped on its side.

What. The. Hell? A loud crash booms and then chants of “fight, fight, fight” fill the air. I start toward the small crowd in the corner of the bar. When I get to the middle, Adam has some guy in a headlock while the girl he was making out with is hitting him on the back.

Jesus Christ. Is he serious? “Adam! Stop!”

“Fight. Fight. Fight.” “I told you not to mess with me, asshole! I’m a black belt!” Adam yells, on the verge of hysteria. And everyone in this room knows Adam is not a black belt. Kid can’t fight worth a damn, though he’s holding his own pretty well. Maybe because his victim is so drunk he’s drooling. Sighing, I reach down and pry the two apart. Adam starts kicking and swinging like a madman. The other guy kind of rolls to his side before puking. At least he isn’t lying on his back. “I had him. I had him!” Adam screams at me, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. “Let me get ‘em, Cade. Come on.” Now he’s swaying back and forth. I haul his arm over my shoulder, and he immediately drops his weight against me. I pull him from the bar and the bouncer helps me get him to his truck. Will’s coat is sitting in the front seat, so I toss it in back and shove Adam in. *** After pulling Adam out of the car and basically carrying him up the stairs, I lean against the door in a pant. I’m a strong guy, but Adam is too damn big to be carried like a kid. I unlock the door and drag him in headfirst and don’t stop until he’s lying on the couch. Jaden’s sitting in the middle of the floor facing me when I turn around. A scrapbook—or something like that—is spread out in front of her, and she closes it as soon as she sees me looking.

“He’s such an alcoholic,” she says, shaking her head and gathering her things. I swallow as she stands, her white tank top bunching around her small waist, and her short cheer-looking shorts stick to her smooth thighs. “Your picture was enough to get me to come home, as you see.” A grin I’ve never seen pulls up her face, and her gaze darts to Adam, whose arm is hanging lifeless off the couch. “He’s really drunk,” I say. She eyes the door. “Will?” “Out with some bitch he picked up at the bar.” She nods and clutches her book tightly to her chest. “You can come to my room if you want.” Those green eyes move up to meet my gaze. “Give me fifteen minutes.” “Okay.” *** I take the quickest shower known to mankind. The mirror is only half- steamed as I climb out and dry off. The sound of silence on the other side of the door makes me smile. Adam is still passed out on the couch when I sneak across the hallway and lock myself in her room. She’s lying underneath her covers, which are bunched around her waist, and staring over at me. A soft smile is etched into her face. It’s been there since yesterday. I think I may be the reason for that smile, and it

makes it even more special. “You’ve missed me?” I ask, slipping onto her bed and crawling to the headboard. She nods and relaxes into her pillow. “You know me well.” I meet her with my mouth first, demanding she give me what I’ve been dying for all day. Having to pretend like she isn’t sitting beside me is harder than I thought it would be. She opens for me, allowing me inside to explore her sweet taste. When I pull back, I nip her chin and then her bottom lip. “Did you have fun?” she asks. I shrug and push a stray hair from the side of her face. “Not really. We drank a bit, and then your brother got in a fight.” She giggles and my dick aches at the sounds. God, can someone’s laugh even be sexy? “He’s such a dumbass.” I tap her arm and then run my fingers underneath the covers to find her ribs. “I agree.” She jerks and grabs my wrists in her hand. A small smile forms on her face. “Don’t touch there. I’m ticklish.” I nod, and she releases my wrists. “Where? Here?” I jump on top of her, straddling her small body and pressing my fingers into her sides. She rocks against me, struggling to get away. She lets me take her wrists in my hands, and I pull them above her head, trapping her between me and the mattress. Tears

pull at her eyes from laughing as she shakes her head. “Please. No more.” She relaxes. I slide my hands down her wrists and stop when I feel the mounted scars tracing across her skin. She stills beneath me when she realizes I’ve found them. The thought of anyone hurting her made me hurt. To know that she wanted to hurt herself tore me apart. “You cut?” I whisper. Both arms relax in my grip and a helpless look haunts her. “I used to cut. In high school.” Which was only a few months ago. Carefully, I watch her eyes as they close, and her mouth pulls down at the corners. “Is it because of them?” Her head hardly moves as she nods. God. I want to erase all that pain on her face, and be the reason it never happens again. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jaden. We all have our problems.” “It was what caused me to lose my car,” she whispers. “I lost my car because I drove to where no one could find me—and cut myself. I planned to die.” What? An overwhelming urge to shake her comes over me, but I fight it. She can’t die. She can’t even think about dying. How can she hate herself so much when all I see is this beautiful person? Inside and out. Why can’t she see it? “Tell me,” I whisper. She drops her head to the side, and I gather her up into my arms and hold her tight. “Tell me, baby. I’ve got you.”

***

Jade Cade’s arms are around me, holding me tighter than anyone has ever held me. My eyes drift shut, and I know I’m supposed to be telling him everything, and I want to, but it’s so embarrassing. “You can tell me,” he whispers again, running his fingers through my hair. “Tell me, baby.” And so I do.

The toilet paper was covering my car, wheels, and even the side mirrors. “Whore” was spray-painted across my windshield in black paint that bled all the way down to the bottom of the glass. But it wasn’t the physical damage that had me crying, it was the emotional toll that had ripped me from the inside out. My heart hammered as I neared my car, and I prayed no one was waiting for me like last time. No one was. They couldn’t do anything more to hurt me than they already had. The bullying, the fights, the getting away with slowly murdering me. Nothing is more barbaric than a scorned teenage girl, and Selena played the part well. No matter how many times I apologized for everything, she only came back harder on me. I didn’t know she’d gotten back together with him, but she never

listened. She never seemed to care. I tore the toilet paper from my car, hearing someone yell “ho” my way before snickering into the distance. Each time someone screamed at me, or whispered behind my back, I felt a little part of me slip away, disappearing into oblivion. I kept my eyes focused as I drove down a back road to avoid traffic. The leaves had started to fall, but the sunshine streamed through my windshield and soothed my skin. No one’s vehicle was there when I pulled into our driveway. Dad wouldn’t get off until six, and Nancy must have been running late for her scheduled “check on the mentally unstable girl” day. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and hurried into our two-story home. A fresh scent of cookies filled the air, and I knew the new housekeeper and cook—I didn’t bother remembering their names because Dad fired them on a monthly basis—probably had cookies set out for me. But I never felt like eating them after school. I took the stairs two at a time to get to my room at the end of the ridiculously long hallway. I passed Adam’s old room and then the three extras and pushed my bedroom door open. My room was immaculate, the bed made, the floor vacuumed, and a small candle warmer burning against my nightstand. I slipped out of my shoes and then slung my backpack on the bed.

My stomach growls, reminding me that I didn’t eat today. Or better yet, why I didn’t eat today. Selena and her friends had been sitting at my usual table, waiting for me. I saw her before I even took two steps into the cafeteria and walked the other way. Biting my lip, I hurried downstairs and found a plate of chocolate-chip cookies sitting on the island in our kitchen. I scooped the plate up and brought them to my room with me. Setting the cookies to the side, I opened my backpack, grabbed the bottom, and dumped my notebooks and books from it. Only—my notebooks and books weren’t the only things that fell onto my bed. A sharp knife fell to my mattress and something was attached to it by a string. My heart thumped against my ribs. I couldn’t imagine who would have had access to my backpack. Carefully, I lifted the knife and opened the attached piece of paper. The writing was definitely feminine, and I already knew who it was. Might as well kill yourself. No one wants you here.

I stared at the paper for a few minutes, reading the words over and over again. I’d told Selena I was sorry multiple times, through her friends’ fists hitting my face, and even when she tripped me down the bleachers at

school. I had actually lost count of how many times I’d said it, but it was obvious she didn’t care. And no one else did either. A sadness I couldn’t control swallowed me. Tears blurred my vision until I could hardly see the floor in front of me. No one wants you here. And I believed her. After so long of someone telling you the same damn thing, you start to believe them. Terror clogged my throat, giving my scream an impossible taste. My fingers lingered over my phone, but I had no one to call. No one to run to. I was all alone in a house that could fill ten. The truth was that I’d been alone for so long I couldn’t remember how it felt to feel comfort. And before I could talk myself out of it, I found my shoes and slipped into them. Dad would be home in thirty minutes, and I needed to be gone by then. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I grabbed my keys and the broken razorblade from my nightstand drawer. The thoughts in my head were so—empty. There was nothing, and at least death would be something. The pain was something I could feel—it was real. I didn’t really think as I jumped into my car and starting driving. I can’t really explain how you feel when you realize your life isn’t worth living anymore. And I can’t tell you when you’ll reach that breaking point because everyone is different. But I can tell you when you feel that emptiness, that hollow torment take over your soul—that it’s hard to

get back from it alone. The road led to a cul-de-sac. I listened carefully to the sound of my car running over the gravel. Adam used to take me to this place to fish when we were really young. Dad would always have an excuse as to why he couldn’t come along, but I didn’t mind. Adam was better than no one. I parked underneath a large tree that Adam and I would use to help get over the fence. Everything was a huge swirl of madness. Colors and emotions swirled inside of my head until I pressed my cheek against the steering wheel and sobbed. Sweat gathered at my hairline despite the air conditioner blowing at my face. And when I felt I couldn’t cry anymore, that there was nothing left of me, I grabbed the razor from the seat and held it to my wrist. My fingers shook as I pressed the sharpened edge to the sensitive skin until blood started to run down my wrist, and then I pressed deeper, sliding it toward my elbow. Blood trailed down my forearm, down to soak into my favorite blue jeans. The pain took over and made me smile. It was the only time I felt anything. I had been on auto-pilot since the night with Justin. A steady pace to follow that would get me through the day without being killed or humiliated. And it slowly became—me. I’m not sure how long I laid there bleeding before I passed out. Minutes, hours—I couldn’t tell.

The blackness welcomed me, and I sunk into it with ease. No fight. I was ready to leave, to be done with the mess I’d created with my life. But God had another plan for me. I just didn’t know it yet. Cade’s gaze settles on mine, a frustrated look in his eyes. His lips press into a hard straight line to keep his bottom lip from trembling. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jaden.” He trails the pad of his thumb against my lip. “I can’t believe anyone could ever treat you like that. All because of some fucking guy.” I try to shrug off the memory, but it’s there now. Cade’s fingertips trail across the scar, and he cusses under his breath. “You’ll never be alone like that again. I swear it.” My heart aches—and I don’t know if I believe him— but I let him take me down against my mattress as he kisses the tears from my face and holds me tight. It didn’t feel like it would last forever, but I relaxed into the feeling because I didn’t have the courage to push it aside.

Chapter Eighteen Jaden Someone knocking on the door wakes me up. I stretch my toes toward the end of the bed and kick the covers from my body. “I was using those.” I sit straight up. Cade is lying on his back, an amused smile on his face. “Are you naked again?” His brow rises. “Do you want me to be, Princess?” I flush and let my hair fall to hide my face. “Maybe later…because someone is banging on my door—oh!” Cade grabs my arm and pushes me down toward the mattress, straddling my thighs with his large ones. “I don’t give a fuck who is at that door. I only care about who’s underneath me right now.” I smile and watch him devour me with those green eyes.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Cade furrows his brow and looks over his shoulder at my locked door. “You think it’s Adam?” I ask, nerves fluttering under my skin. He shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s never up this early.”

Thump. Thump. Thump. “Jaden, open up. It’s Dad.” “Shit,” I whisper. Cade looks back at me with wide eyes. “Yeah, shit.”

He jumps off of me and starts running around the room, grabbing his clothes. I smile. “You’re a pro at this.” A half-smile. “Pretty much. I’ll be in the closet if you need me.” He smiles and dashes into my walk-in. “Hold on,” I say before making Cade’s side of the bed and putting some pajama bottoms on. I open the door and Dad’s standing stiff as a board. His suit is crisp—Armani, no doubt—and he looks like a complete douchebag. “Hey, Dad,” I say. He gives me a sharp smile and barges into the room. He’s looking for something, but I’m not sure what. “How have you been?” I press my lips together and close the door behind me. For some reason I don’t feel like this visit is a pleasant one. He hasn’t looked me in the eyes once. “I’ve been fine.” “Have you?” he asks, turning and placing his hands behind his back. The corner of his lip twitches and now I know he’s mad. Tugging on the side of my long nightshirt, I nibble on the inside of my lip. “What is it?” I finally ask. “What do you want?” “Why did you miss your appointment, Jaden? Did I not make it clear that you’re to continue going?” My ears are burning. Not only does this conversation make me furious, but Cade is sitting in the closet hearing all of it. Not like it’s a secret, he knows everything now after last night, but having my dad come and treat me like a little girl sucks.

“I don’t think I need them anymore. I feel better.” Dad laughs, but it’s bitter. “You feel better? Jade— it’s only been a few months. You can’t just declare yourself okay. You’re not a doctor.” I grind my teeth. “Neither are you.” He sighs, working his hand into his perfectly greased hair. “I want you to come home. You’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing, and you’re not taking your medicine. Do you want to feel that way again? I have to protect you from this. You need to come home. Now. Today.” “No!” I yell. “I’m fine here. I’m happy, Daddy. I’ll start going back to my appointments, but I don’t want to go home.” He shakes his head. “You’re not okay to be by yourself. You’ve shown me that you can’t be trusted. Have you been taking your pills?” My mouth is dry. I’m so angry that I’m shaking. Dad makes his way over to the dresser where he pours my pills out into his hand and counts them. My fingernails draw blood against my palms. “Jaden, you better be taking your pills. If there is one extra pill in here I’m going to—” A scream rips from my throat, and I take two steps forward and knock the pills from my dad’s palm. “Get out! I can’t take it! Get out! I’m trying to get better! I’ve been taking my pills! I just want you out of here! I’m not going the fuck home with you!” Dad’s eyes widen and before I know it, he

backhands me. I gasp, grabbing my face and staring down at the floor. Just as I try to take a step to run, I hear my closet door open, and Cade rushes out toward my dad. “Don’t you fucking touch her again. I don’t give a damn if you’re her father, I’ll whoop your old ass right here and now, motherfucker.” Dads face pales, but he tries to hide it. “So now you’re sleeping with trash, Jaden. That’s just great. Let’s add that to your list of problems.” A burn aches in my chest. I’ve always thought I was a burden to Dad, but he’d never confirmed it. Cade’s body is blocking half my view of my father, but I can see his jaw clenched tight. Dad’s a man who makes people pay with money, somehow, someway, but doesn’t have the balls to talk to people face-to-face. “I suggest you leave before I lose what little self-control I have left, man.” Dad lets out a shaky snort. “Son, I pay for her share of this apartment; I have every right to be here.” “She has a job. She can pay for it herself. Plus, if she couldn’t, I would. Get out.” Dad laughs again. “I told you I don’t have to leave!”

Oh, God. “What’s going on?” Adam asks from the door, and bile rises in my throat. I beg Dad not to do it with my eyes, but he isn’t looking at me anymore. He’s staring at Adam, who is staring directly at Cade standing half-naked in my bedroom. “It looks like your sister needs to come home. She

hasn’t been going to her appointments, she’s picked up a vulgar mouth already, and she’s sleeping with this fine gentleman who’s been cussing me out for the last five minutes. So, she’s coming home with me.” Adam’s face reddens. “You’re fucking my little sister? What the…” He stops and places his hands on his head. “You’re fucking my sister!” he yells, tossing his hands in the air. “Get your things, Jaden. We’re leaving,” Dad says, completely ignoring Adam’s meltdown. “I’m not going,” I say, shaking my head. “Cade’s right. I don’t need you.” “Jaden.” He steps forward. “I’m not going to ask you again. Get your things together and let’s go.” “And I told you,” I snap. “I’m not going.” Dad turns to stand right in front of me. “Jaden, if you don’t leave with me now, you’re cut off. You’re not getting another chance to come home. Either come now, or don’t come back.” Wow. That hurt so much more than I thought it would. An ache bone deep sets in and I give him a shrug. “I’m sorry. But you need to leave.” Dad stares down at me, his gaze cold as ice. “Okay then.” He pushes his way through Cade and Adam. I wait silently until I hear the front door slam shut and his heavy footsteps down the hallway. Adam is saying something now. It’s loud and rude, but I can’t make out the words. I sit on the edge of my bed

in a zombie-state while Cade and Adam bite each other’s head off. And I stay like that until Cade bends down in front of me, placing his large palms on my thighs. “Jaden,” he whispers, and I focus on his mouth. He’s saying my name, isn’t he? “Baby,” he says, louder this time, shaking my shoulders. “Are you okay? Can you hear me?” I fight the numbness trying to take over and rub my fists over my eyes. “Where’s Adam?” Cade frowns. “He left.” “He’s pissed.” Nodding, he stands up and closes the door. I wait until I feel the bed move to turn around to look at him. He curls his finger toward himself and pats the spot next to him. Once my head is against his chest, I relax into his warmth. “What are we going to do?” His calloused fingertip trails across my collarbone. “We’re going to go back to sleep until it’s time for class, and then go to work.” I frown. “I meant about my dad and Adam.” “That’s what we’re going to do,” he whispers. “Adam will come around, and your dad can’t make you come back home. You’re an adult.” “What if I miss him?” I choke out. Cade pulls me into the crook of his arm. “We’ll pray he’ll turn around and if not, I’ll show you every day how goddamn better off you are without him.” A smile pulls at my face. “Thank you, Cade.”

*** I place my hands against the bathroom sink and let my head hang, stretching my neck. My neck muscles are so sore from working on Dan’s receipt book all day yesterday. I’m distracted with the books for a day, and he destroys my organization and tosses it down the drain. My eyes drift toward the locked bathroom door, and I listen to the sound of Cade watching TV in the living room. Adam has gone home—most likely—and hasn’t been back since yesterday morning. I know he’s pissed if he’s missing the party he planned tonight. Will has a baseball game and will be back around nine just in time to get the party ready. Which leaves Cade and me with the house to ourselves for the whole day. I hurry into the shower, shaving my legs and washing my hair twice. I blow-dry my hair and straighten it. My nerves are jittery. And every time I hear Cade move on the couch, my chest tightens. When I’m finished, dressed in yoga pants and a tank top, my hand hovers over the doorknob. The TV casts a glow underneath the door. Why am I so nervous? We’ve had sex and slept together on multiple occasions. What else is there? I take a huge breath and walk out of the bathroom. Cade’s sitting on the couch, no shirt, his jeans slung low on his waist. The hand resting on his knee is holding a beer, and the other is stretched out across the back of the couch. His gaze pins me in place. He lifts an eyebrow

before crooking his finger. “Come here.” It isn’t a question, and I wouldn’t have denied it anyway. I walk toward the couch and take a seat beside him, curling my foot underneath the other one. “What are we watching?” Cade gives me a sideways glance as the corner of his lip curls upward. “Jackass.” “I used to have a crush on Bam Margera.” Cade makes a small sound and slowly shakes his head. “Oh, yeah. I bet he got you all wet.” I blush and pretend to be interested in a string on my pants. “Cat got your tongue, baby?” he says, his lips suddenly at my ear. “I bet he can’t make you feel like I do.” I smile. “Jealous?’ “Hell yes.” “Then show me,” I say, turning my head to face him. “Show me what Bam can’t do for me.” A glimmer of something washes over his face, and then a smile curls up his scruffy jaw. And before I can get lost in those sea green eyes, he grabs the nape of my neck and drags my mouth to his. His kiss isn’t anything less than demanding. My mouth opens for his and his tongue laps at me. His other hand grabs my waist, and he slowly guides me down onto my back as he settles between my legs. My eyes close at the pressure of him in the V of my jeans. “You’re shivering,” he whispers against my lips. “Are you cold?”

I hadn’t even realized. I shake my head and lift my mouth back to his again. With one hand in his hair and the other tightly gripping his shirt, I want to be even closer to him. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him in, feeling his erection pressing harder against me. Cade pulls his mouth from mine, sits up, slides my shirt from my body, and slowly takes off my jeans. I bite my lip and watch as he pulls his jeans down his thighs. My eyes wander to the outline of his cock in his boxer briefs, and my sex clenches. Sex with Cade is nothing like sex with Justin. Cade makes sure my needs are met first. And boy does he know how to use what he’s got. Cade eyes my panties and slowly leans back so that he can kiss his way up my thigh. My shivering body can’t take much more of his mouth on me. My fingers latch onto the couch, and my legs tremble as the heat of his mouth sears my panties. “Look at me,” he whispers against my core, his mouth hot. I force myself to meet his gaze and watch as he grabs the side of my panties and drags them off with his teeth. Wetness pools at my core; a burning fire ignites underneath my skin. Cade’s scruff scrapes against my thighs, leaving a burning trail behind it. I’ve never felt this turned on before. When my panties are off and tossed to the side somewhere, Cade crawls back up, capturing my lips with his again. My head is spinning. I’m new to the seduction thing, but I’ve read enough books to know a little something. With a shaky hand, I push Cade to a sitting position. His brow

furrows, but he sits back against the couch. I can’t make eye contact, but I drop to my knees in front of him and put my shaking hand against his huge upper thighs. I open my parched mouth and then snap it shut. I shouldn’t say anything, should I? I rise on my knees and slowly lean forward. Cade’s chest vibrates, and his hand reaches out. “Look at me, Jaden,” he whispers. And I obey. He stares at me through a hooded gaze, his lips parted, and a sexy-as-hell look on his face. “You don’t have to do that.” I swallow. “I want to.” And it’s the truth. Before he can say anything else, I wrap my palm around the base of his dick. He groans and leans back to stretch his legs out farther. I guide my fingers from base to tip, which gets me another growl. “Do something before I bend you over the table and fuck you, Jaden. You’re testing me.” I hold back my smile and slowly lean down to take him in my mouth until I feel him at the back of my throat. I’ve never gone down on a guy before, but it makes a thick heavy pressure build in my lower stomach. Cade growls and pushes himself further into my mouth. “Holy mother…” he grunts, wrapping my hair into one of his fists, guiding me back down onto him. I grip his jeans with one hand and stroke him with the other while I suck the shit out of his dick. Cade continues to guide my mouth while making the most erotic groans and growls I’ve ever heard. Each one adds another layer of fire to my body. “Baby, that’s it, just like that,” he grits through

his teeth. I quicken my pace, taking him into my mouth and right back out. Cade’s grip tightens on my hair and before I know it my mouth is off his dick, I’m turned around on the floor on all fours, and Cade is slamming into me. I instantly come, my muscles convulsing around him as he pumps into me, helping me ride my orgasm out longer. I quake, my back arches, and my head tilts back. “I love to hear you come,” he growls. “I told you I was going to take it easier on you last time, but this time I’m going to make you fucking scream.” And I don’t disagree with him. Five rough fingers grip the back of my neck and guide me down toward the floor, until my head is resting against a couch cushion he tossed in front of me, and my ass is straight up in the air. Slowly, he unlatches his fingers and trails them down my back and over my ass before disappearing. Then I feel his hand smack my ass, and it stings me so good. “Get ready, baby,” he says, voice gritty and deep. I listen to the harsh sound of my own breath as I wait for Cade to take charge. Both his hands grip my hips, and he pounds into me. The position makes my body shake. A squeal leaves my throat when he quickens his pace. I crave each lavish pump before it comes, grinding back against him with all the strength I can muster. Cade reaches around me, running his hand down my mound until he finds the spot he’s looking for. I whimper, and he chuckles into my ear as he circles my clit again and again with his rough calloused fingers. “You like that, do

ya?” I nod, gripping the carpet. “Say my name,” he demands. “Cade.” “Again. Louder.” He pumps harder.

“Cade.” He growls, rolls his hips, and presses into me all the way. I arch my back, closing my eyes, desperate for more of him. “Cade!” I scream, my building orgasm tipping over the edge. “Jaden,” he groans, saying my name over and over as I come crashing down from the orgasms he promised me. Violent jerks and shakes take over me, and I can’t keep the noises from spilling from my lips. Cade slams his palm against my ass again, and I feel him jerk inside of me. I grasp the pillow beneath my head and bite the side of it while he slams into me three more times before pulling out. I keep my head down and ass up for a few seconds, catching my breath, trying to calm myself. Slowly, I sit up and turn to him. His chest is still heaving harshly, and his eyes are hooded. The side of his lip curls upward, and he reaches out to drag my weak, helpless body toward him. “You smell so good,” he whispers in my ear. I giggle and bury my head into the crook of his neck. “Do you have an evening shift?” “Unfortunately. Dan needs help with an old school that was brought in today. Why, you gonna miss me?” I shrug and trail my fingers over the hard lines of his

stomach. “Maybe.” He pulls me back and drags me to my feet. “Well, I have thirty minutes before I have to be there. If you bring your pretty ass, I’ll take a shower with you.” My sex clenches. “I’m not sure thirty minutes will be enough.” He gives me a cocky smile. “A lot can be accomplished in thirty minutes, baby. Let me show you.”

Chapter Nineteen Cade “Hand me that.” Dan points at a screwdriver. I roll my eyes and toss him the tool. It’s always “hand me this” and “hand me that” with him. But I guess that is my job. “What’s Jaden up to tonight?” he asks through a grunt, wiping his forehead with the back of his greasy hand. I lift a brow. “How would I know what Jaden’s doing, Dan?” We haven’t exactly been mushy in front of him. And plus, we’ve just now started getting…intimate. God, I sound

like a woman. Dan snorts from under the hood. “Cade, I’ve known you for years. You’ve never looked at any girl like that.” “Like what?” He wiggles from under the hood and turns to me. “Answer the question, son. Do you know what she’s doing tonight?” He smiles. I try my best not to smile. “She’s getting ready for a party.” Dan’s grin widens. “Told you.” He turns back to the old school and starts tinkering with it again. “And are you planning on going to this party?” I rake my hands through my sweaty hair and dig my phone from my pocket so I can check the time. “I’ve got about an hour before I have to leave.” Dan nods.

Thirty minutes pass, and we’re both leaning under the hood when we hear a door slam. I glance over my shoulder, but all I can tell is that it’s a pickup. I rap my knuckles against the car. “I’ll get it.” Dan says something I don’t understand as I make my way to the front. No one is in the office area, so I open the front door and look outside. The truck is empty. “Hello?” No answer. I take another step, and something shoves me from the side, sending me stumbling over the concrete step in front of me. I jerk around and see the old bastard my mother owes money. “What in the hell are you doing here?” He looks even worse in the sunlight. “You know what I want,” he says, his voice like sandpaper. “Where is she?” I snort. “Like I’m going to tell. I suggest you leave before I whoop your ass again.” He gives me a sneer and takes a large step toward me. The guy is huge, but old and slow. He’s already showed me that. “I think you better start talking, kid, because I’m not leaving until I get my money or you’re dead.” I wipe my forehead. “Then bring it on, grandpa.” His swing is fast, and it knocks me back a few steps. Sluggishly, I shake my head and steady myself. He swings again, and I jump out of the way, landing three quick jabs to his side. He groans, clutches at his ribs, and lands a swift kick to my leg. I grind my teeth together to keep from shouting.

“What in the hell is going on?” Dan comes outside, waving his hands in the air like a madman. “Cade!” Ignoring him, I backhand the guy and sidestep to miss the huge boot aimed at my leg. Dan screams something, but I’m not listening. The man and I swing at each other until I step out and hook my foot beneath his knee, making him fall backwards. I jump on top of him and slug him over and over. My anger is vibrating through my blood. The image of my mother dangling from his hand clutters my vision. It’s the only thing I can focus on. Dan’s voice has faded completely away now, and all I can feel is my hand hitting bone. There is blood, but I can’t tell if it’s from him or me. Then something in the distance stops me. Sirens. Shit. When I look up Dan is standing in the door of the station, eyes wide. “Don’t run, Cade.” I shake my head and jump up, staggering toward the bench outside of the building. ***

Jade My gaze drifts to the clock hanging over my desk. I’m standing in my room, staring at myself in the closet mirror. I thought Cade would be back by now. People have already started showing up for the party. I can hear the thumping of music and laughter from the living room. I check my phone again. I have a new

message. Before I can click open it, there’s a heavy knock at the door. Cade. My hopes fly as I run to my door and wing it open. Oh. “Hi, Will.” He’s got a devilish smile on his face and a drink in his hand. “What are you doing in here?” he asks. “The party is outside.” I cringe. “I’m…just waiting on someone.” He lifts a brow, steps inside, and closes the door with his foot. “Well, why don’t you get a drink and relax? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in weeks.” He hands me the drink he was holding. “I’ve been busy.” He gives me what I assume is his attempt at a sexy face and runs his fingers through his dirty blond hair. “I bet. Why don’t you come out here with me until they get here?” I swallow the nervous lump in my throat and eye my cell on the nightstand. He’s probably just running late. He’ll be here soon. “Okay. A little while won’t hurt.” *** The party is bumper-to-bumper people. Our dining room table has been converted into a beer-pong table, the living room is full of gyrating students, and every piece of furniture is occupied. The music rattles the decorations on the walls. Will’s hand lands on my lower back, but despite the warmth of it, I feel chilled. He seems different, but I don’t know how or why. I’m

sure he’s heard about Cade and me by now. I’m sure Adam’s told him everything. I almost ask, but I decide to keep my mouth shut. No need to bring it up if he doesn’t know. We stop near the kitchen where Will fixes himself something to drink. “That good?” he asks, gesturing toward my untouched liquor. “You want something else?” He gives me a big grin. “I can fix it for you.” I give him a small smile and take a sip. I almost moan. “Is this ice cream?” He laughs. “Good, huh?” “Hell yes.” Will takes a step closer to me, guiding me into the dining room. “You’ve got to watch a round with me. This guy is the fucking champ at beer pong.” He points toward a smaller guy with large glasses standing at the end of the table. I snort. Will knocks his shoulder into mine. “Looks can be deceiving, Jaden.” “Oh, I know.” My first drink is gone when the small guy claims his applause at the end of the match. Will was right, the kid is awesome. I watch the people around me run toward the living room when the music turns up. “Here you go,” Will says, lowering my drink in front of me. “You want to dance?” I let Will lead me to the middle of the makeshift dance floor. The rap music blares from the speakers in the

corner, and I pump my body to the beat. The world around me gets a little hazy. All the alcohol blurs my vision, the roaring bass of the music causes me to close my eyes and sway. I think I’m still dancing with Will. His hands are around my waist and he’s saying something, but I don’t know what. A dreamlike haze takes over and everything stills. My body relaxes, and I can’t feel myself anymore. And then everything drifts to silence. *** The constant sound of something beeping is heavy in my ear. I slowly shake my head, and feel a weight settle in the base of my skull.

Oh, shit. I blink a few times, finally focusing, and when I do I let out a small sigh. I’m definitely in my room. Slowly, I stretch my limbs and bring my arms above my head. And that’s when I realize I’m naked. I bound up out of bed and look around. The other side of my bed is empty, and doesn’t look like it’s been slept in. My clothes are scattered around the floor, and I have no idea why. I search myself, but there isn’t any evidence of anything off. I don’t feel like that’s happened. Rubbing my temples, I remember why I woke up in the first place. I scramble over to my phone and dismiss my alarm. When my home screen pulls up my eyes widen. I have sixteen missed calls from a number I don’t know and four messages from Cade.

Cade: Cade: Cade: Cade:

Answer the phone. I’m trying to call. Jaden, please, I’m in jail. Jaden… Ah, shit.

I drop my phone and immediately get dressed while I call a taxi. The house is trashed. A couple of people are passed out in the living room. Will can handle it. Will. I try to think of something, anything that happened last night, but everything is fuzzy. I stand on the corner as the taxi pulls up. Once I’m in, we ride in silence while something dances on the edge of my thoughts. Something I’m missing. Something isn’t right. I pay the driver when we pull into the jail’s parking lot. I hurry inside and check with the lady at the front desk. My knees bounce against the floor of the waiting room. I tug at my lip and try to remember what happened. When the woman at the desk calls me over, I bound up and pay the bond for Cade to leave. Ten minutes later, Cade walks through the double doors, and I bound out of my seat. He looks like hell. His shirt is bloody, there’s a scrape above his eyebrow, and he looks pissed as hell. “Cade,” I say, sinking into his arms. He kisses the top of my head, lowers his hands to my shoulders, and pushes me back. “Where have you been? I called you a thousand times.” “I-I didn’t hear my phone ring. Will gave me something to drink and I got really dizzy…There is… something is off today. It’s not sexual—I don’t think.”Cade

furrows his brow. “Hold on. Let me get my keys.” He walks to the front desk for his items. Once we’re outside he calls us a taxi. “Okay, so what’s going on?” I bite my lip. “You first. You were the one in jail, Cade.” He rolls his eyes. “Someone called the cops on me for fighting. And once we got it figured out, they wouldn’t release me until someone came and bailed me out. You were the only person I could think of.” “Why were you fighting?” He sighs and waves me off. “Tell me what’s wrong.” “Okay,” I whisper. “I went to the party last night. I drank a little. Will asked me to dance.” I try to avoid Cade’s death glare. “And…” He reaches out and tilts my chin upward. “What happened?” I shrug and let out a small sob. “I woke up naked this morning. I don’t feel like I had sex or anything but…I feel weird.” Cade’s face is stone. I can’t make out what he’s thinking or if he’s mad at me. “Where were you naked?” he asks, his voice grave. “My bed. I only had two drinks, I think. I’m so confused,” I say, trying to keep my voice to a whisper. “Shh…” Cade drags me closer to him. “Calm down. Maybe you undressed yourself,” he says. His voice sounds gentle, but the way his hands tightly hold me, I can tell he’s trying to keep his cool.

We get back into the taxi and ride the rest of the way toward Dan’s to pick up Cade’s truck. He holds my hand until he can’t anymore and picks it back up once we’re in the truck. I’m almost afraid to go home. Will, and maybe even my brother, will be there. But the house is empty when we get there. Still trashed though. All the people who were sleeping when I left have gone, leaving behind empty Solo cups and trash. I take a shaky breath and follow Cade into my room where he examines everything. He takes a slow breath and turns to face me. And in his hard appearance I see something I have yet to see in him—fear. “You okay to go to class?” he asks. I press my lips together. “Are you mad at me?” He closes his eyes, runs his hand down his face, and slowly shakes his head. “No, baby. I’m not mad at you. I just wish I could have been here with you. You shouldn’t have woken up alone.” “It’s not your fault.” He exhales and points toward my alarm clock. “You better get ready. I’ll drive you.” *** Cade drops me off in front of my first class five minutes before it starts. I push my legs faster up the steps and down the long hallway. My books almost slip from my arms, so I use my knee to push them back up.

The classroom door is still open when I round the corner, and I let out a small sigh. I run inside, and that’s when I see it. It’s on the overhead projector, casting across the entire whiteboard. Me. Naked. In my bed. Snickers echo over the room, but I’m still looking at the board. My heart isn’t beating. I’m not breathing. Everything pulls apart inside of me at once. Terror clogs my throat. Someone walks past me, holding a flier. Tears brew in my eyes, and I can’t stop them. A hand thrusts the flier in my face, but I can’t focus to see who is holding it. It’s the same picture on the overhead. “Okay, class. Take a seat. Why are we blocking the door—oh, God,” the teacher says from behind me. But I’m choking. I can’t turn to explain. I can’t breathe. I turn on my heel and break through the people behind me. Fliers scatter the hallways. Hundreds. Thousands. All of me. I hear someone calling my name, but I break into a run. A few late students stare blankly at me as I race down the hallway toward the double doors. I don’t know where I’ll go once I’m outside, but I have to get far away from here. The sunlight heats my already burning skin. I frantically dig my phone from my pocket and dial Cade’s number. When he answers, I start to hyperventilate. “Jaden? Calm down, baby. What’s wrong? Breathe.” “Come,” I whisper. “Come get me.” I hear his breathing on the other end and I pray he doesn’t ask why. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

I press my back against the brick building and bring my knees to my chin. The tears haven’t stopped, and my nose is running all over my face. I don’t know how long I sit there. But I feel Cade’s approach before I hear or see him. His arms wrap around me, lifting me to my feet. “What’s the matter?” he asks. I sniffle, holding my arm around my waist to keep myself together. “There were naked pictures of me. Everywhere.” I keep my eyes closed and head down, hoping no one passing by will recognize me. Please, God. This can’t

be happening. Cade’s silence startles me, so I glance up at him through watery eyes. His face is calm, but his eyes look angry, feral. I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows. “Let’s go.” He grabs my arm, hauling me to his side and takes long strides toward his pickup. Once I’m inside, he starts the engine and spins his tires out of the parking lot. *** My mind is reeling, but my mouth won’t open. Cade’s going way over the speed limit, hauling ass around each curb until we pull into our apartment complex. I spot Will’s SUV, and my heart starts to jackhammer in my chest. “Cade,” I warn when he jumps out of the driver’s side and heads toward the apartment. “Cade!” I yell this time,

desperately trying to keep up with his long strides, but by the time I catch up he’s already standing in the middle of the living room floor, searching through a phone. I stop, eyes wide, and try to catch my breath. Will is pale, his hands clenched beside him. A wild look is in his eyes, and it doesn’t set right with me. “You told him I raped you?” he asks me. “What? I didn’t say that.” Cade holds his hand outward. “I didn’t say rape, jackass. I said took pictures.” He continues to fumble through his phone and then stills. He must have found something because he isn’t moving. I can’t even tell if he’s breathing. Will’s gaze snaps to mine, and I see him slowly swallow. The silence is so loud in my ears I can’t hear myself breathe. Cade throws Will’s phone to me. I barely catch it before he’s on top of Will. His fists hit his face over and over. The bone breaks beneath the blows. Will doesn’t even look like he’s moving, and I’m trying my best to keep my head. Everything is hazy. The tears blurring my vision aren’t letting up. My shaking fingers are curled around my phone, but I have no one to call for help. My dad doesn’t care. And my brother is pissed. The sound of Cade’s fists hitting bone sends chills down my spine. He’d just been in jail for the night for fighting his mother’s battles, and now he’s fighting mine. At first I try calling out to him, but Cade isn’t listening. The hazy look in his eyes is trancelike. He’s a man on a

mission that isn’t letting anything stop him. But I have to. He’s going to kill him. “Cade!” I scream, my voice unrecognizable. Cade’s fists stops mid-swing and his green eyes meet mine. “That’s enough,” I say. “You’re already in trouble for fighting.” Cade’s jaw is tight, fist still raised when the door swings open. Adam steps inside, looking like he hasn’t slept or eaten in two days. “What the…” He trails off before running toward Cade and pulling him off Will. Will lays there lifeless, head to the side, blood smearing his face. “What is going on?” Adam yells as Cade pushes against him. “Let me go. I’m finished,” Cade says, but Adam holds him tighter. “What happened?” he yells again. But all I can do is cry. Cade breaks from his grasp and turns on him. I watch in horror as they square off at each other. No. No. No. Not my brother. “Your best fucking friend over here drugged your sister’s drink and took naked pictures of her. And then posted fliers at school!” Adam’s face falls, and he looks over at me. “Jaden?” But I turn my head and screw my eyes shut. No more pity. No more of this pain. I hear Adam growl, and he kicks the side of the living room table so hard the glass in the

middle breaks. “Fuck!” he screams, grabbing his hair. “I’m so sorry Jade. I should have been here.” More tears suffocate me. I can hear Adam and Cade talking, but I can’t make out the words. Everything is hazy, I feel high and light. Cade carries me down the stairs and toward his truck. “Where are we going?” “I’m taking you to my house.” “What about Adam. He—” “He’s fine with it. And even if he wasn’t it doesn’t matter. I want you far away from this place.” I furrow my brow and ignore the throbbing pain in my skull. “What about the cops? You know he’ll call the cops when he wakes up. And school? I don’t—” “Jaden,” he warns. “I’ll take care of everything. Relax and get some sleep.” As badly as I want to stay up and figure everything out, my tiredness wins, dragging me down into a muchneeded sleep.

Chapter Twenty Jaden “Can you believe she slept with him? I mean they’ve only been talking for about two weeks. What a slut,” someone whispered. Warmth swarmed my cheeks, and I hid in the protection of my hood. The whispers had started that morning. Everyone already knew I’d slept with Justin, probably before I knew I was going to sleep with Justin. Pressing my books to my chest, I walked down the hallway toward Jennifer’s locker. She stood shoving books away at a record pace. “Wow, you’re in a hurry,” I said, sliding in next to her to open my locker door. She didn’t answer, and I looked her over. She faced forward, trying her best to hurry and grab her books. “Hello, Jennifer?” I said, waving my hand in front of her face. She shrugged me off, shut her locker and left. My heart fell through my stomach as I watched my only friend walk away. That was the last time I ever talked to her. I shoved my books into my locker and headed to the cafeteria. Most of the lunchroom was filled by the time I

walked in with my plate. Our normal table was in the corner close to the EXIT, but Jennifer wasn’t sitting there. Not that I expected her to. She had just tossed out six years of friendship like a molded loaf of bread. I took the seat closest to the door so I could watch people walk in. The sound of my heart was heavy in my eardrums as I quickly tried to eat. The pizza was gross, and I only eat the toppings anyway, so I slid them to the side and picked out the pepperonis. “She doesn’t know yet?” some girl at the next table whispered. “I swear she doesn’t. You should so go and tell her.” They giggled. “Yeah, I’ll go with you.” I heard their chairs scrape against the tile and then the clacking of their shoes on the floor. I followed them with my eyes as they walked to Selena. Trying to shrug it off, I pretended to be interested in my plate which the smell was making my stomach queasy. “What?” Selena screeched. Her fists slam the table, rattling the surface. “She did not!” My gaze—hell, everyone’s gaze—was on Selena. But someone else caught my attention first. Jennifer sat across from Selena, watching me. Then she dropped her head and started eating. My heart broke in two. She had tossed me aside for the people who had tormented me? What the hell was going on here?

“Oh, shit!” someone yelled. I looked up to find Selena standing over me, one perfectly plucked eyebrow lifted, and a sneer riding her jaw. “You’re going down, bitch,” she said. And she kept her promise. *** My scream rattles my ears when I sit up in bed. I’m suddenly aware that I’m not in my room anymore but at Cade’s, but that doesn’t make me relax. Tears pull at the corner of my eyes. A small Post-It note flutters off my stomach.

Went to take care of things. Be back soon. Cade The letter falls from my hand as I try to stop the tears from forming. Slowly, I make my way to the kitchen where I get a glass of water. It doesn’t help the ache in my chest, but it does relieve my scratchy throat. Cade’s mother isn’t here, so I’m assuming she’s still in rehab. Slowly, I walk down the hallway and strip out of my clothes. I fold them in a nice pile and place them on the back of the toilet before I step into the shower. My tears mix with the water, and I can’t tell if I’m even crying anymore. All I can feel is the hurt eating away at me, slowly. The image on the overhead is still flickering through my mind. All my memories from high school are there to

remind me that I’m never that far away from my past. The hot water numbs my skin, and I carefully lay down in the tub and let the water wash down on me. I try not to think, but it’s impossible not to relive what happened only hours ago. I watch the steam rise off of my body as I lay helplessly. Cade’s disposable razor is sitting on the side of the tub; my fingers run over it and then back again. Just one time won’t hurt. It’ll take the pain away long enough for me to breathe. For my heart to try and heal. “It’s not worth it, Jade.” I screw my eyes shut. “How do you know it’s not? I could take the pain away, just for a second—” The shower curtain flies open, and I’m jerked out of the tub. Water rolls down my body, and my hair sticks to my neck. Cade’s jaw is locked and a plea hangs over his face. “I’m not willing to let you go. But I can’t fight for you if you don’t fight for yourself, Jaden.” Five rough fingers palm the nape of my neck. “I know you’re hurting. Hell, I don’t know half of what you went through last year, but I promise I’ll be here no matter the damage. No matter the fucked up past you have. No matter the heartache to come.” He closes his eyes for a brief moment. “Look at me. I’ve put myself through hell for my mother, but it’s paying off now. She’s trying. And even though I got tossed in jail defending her, I don’t regret it. It’s made me stronger, Jaden.” Cade sits us down on the closed toilet seat. “And I can help you get stronger. All you need is love, and I’ve got that for you. More than I even realized.”

I gaze up at him through hooded, tear-coated eyes as my bottom lip trembles. His big green eyes are intense, both brows pulled down in the middle. He presses a kiss to the top of my forehead, the scruff of his jaw scraping my skin. “What about Adam?” I whisper though a clogged throat Cade growls and presses his forehead to mine. “You let me take care of Adam, Princess. He’ll come around. And between your brother and me, you’ve got all the family you need.” I sob into his chest as he rocks me like a baby. I don’t care that I’m naked or that I’m soaking his clothes. I don’t care about anything but him. His touch. His lips. His words. Everything about him helps heal that hollow ache deep in my chest. And even though I’m once again teetering on the brink of insanity, this time, one ray of sunshine pokes through that dark hole of despair.

Chapter Twenty-One Cade “Adam called me today.” I glance over my beer bottle and look at Jaden. She’s wearing those damn yoga pants again, with her hair in a long braid. Her tank top is tight to her flat stomach, and don’t get me started on her ass. “Are you listening to me?” she asks, sitting the bowl of mashed potatoes down on the dining room table. I grin over at her. “Adam called you today. Did you answer?” She slowly shakes her head. The sides of her mouth pull down in the corners, and she pretends to busy herself with the already perfect table setting. I stand up, dropping my beer on the living room table. “And why haven’t you called him?” I ask, picking at the fried chicken she’s now holding. She pops my hand, and I lift an eyebrow. “Because I don’t know what to say, Cade.” I grab her waist, take the chicken, and place it back on the counter before pulling her back to me. “What are you confused about?” She looks flustered as hell about it. Resting my hands on her hips, I bend down to nip at her jaw. “Spill it, Jaden.” She huffs and grabs a tight hold onto my work shirt.

“I don’t know what to tell him about us.”

Oh, she wants to define our relationship and doesn’t have the guts to say it. This will be fun. I grin and run my thumb across her bottom lip. “What about us, Princess? Are you speaking English right now?” Another sigh and she tugs on my shirt. “I mean…do I tell him we’re…dating? Or just fucking around?” I let my smile slip, and she tries to wiggle away from me. “Just forget it!” She tosses her hands in the air. I laugh and drag her back, resting my lips against hers. “You can tell him we’re together. He doesn’t need to know the details. Don’t tell him I rock your world in the bedroom or anything like that.” She smiles. “Good. Now come eat, I need to feed you.” “There are other ways to be fed.” She sashays over to the table and takes a seat. “After we eat. Don’t make me send you to bed without supper.” I crack a smile and take the seat beside her. *** After the kitchen is clean and all the dishes have been washed, I set a blanket out in the living room. The old box TV and the tattered lamp cast a glow over our living room and piece of shit recliner I’m sitting in. The only thing that looks good is where Jaden and I painted the room that bright yellow color she picked out. But it

doesn’t matter to me, and I can tell it doesn’t matter to Jaden. She’s happy. Content. She’s better than yesterday and a huge leap forward from this morning. Jaden walks in with two glasses of wine, and I lift a brow at her. She rolls her eyes and dares me to call her out about underage drinking. She settles between my legs, and I run my fingers up and down her arms. “You’ll have to go down to the jail tomorrow so that they can get your statement,” I whisper, watching as she slowly relaxes more and more into me. “So we can catch Will.” “It wasn’t his idea.” She twirls the tip of her finger around the edge of her wine glass. “It was her.” By her I’m assuming she means Selena. Shit. “Oh, God,” I say and slowly shake my head. “What?” she asks over her shoulder. “It was her. I saw them together at the bar the other night. I should have known. They were making out and all over each other. That fucking bastard.” “She must have some kind of voodoo power over guys,” I say. “Nah, Will had it out for us. He’d been dropping hints about us sneaking around, and I think it pissed him off.” “It’s okay, Cade. There isn’t anything we can do about it now, other than wait on the cops. You turned in his cell phone?” I nod. “Hell yeah. There wasn’t a chance in hell that I was going to let him get away with it.”

“Thank you for sticking up for me. I’ve never had anyone do that for me before.” That makes me sad. I crawl on top of her, propping my head on my elbow. “I’d do anything for you. You know that right?” She nods slowly. “I know.” We watch each other for a while before I pull up to my knees. “Want to play a game?” A look of excitement crosses her face as she crawls up to her knees, tucking her long hair behind her ear. “Like spin the bottle?” I snort. She’s too damn cute. “I think we’ve outgrown that game. How about we play ‘never have I ever.’” She frowns. “I thought this was going to be sexual.” “Someone’s turning into a little freak.” She blushes and starts to get up. I laugh, grab her arm, and drag her back down. “I’m joking. It’s going to be sexual.” “I’m listening.” “Every time you don’t get one, you take an article of clothing off.” She nods. “Okay. You go first.” “Never have I ever kissed a guy.” She rolls her eyes. “So, that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” She smiles and pulls her shirt over her head. I take in her just-right tits in a lacey pink bra and her flat stomach. “Is it my turn now?” she asks. I nod. She bites her lip in concentration and then snaps her

fingers. “Never have I ever smoked a cigarette.” I smile and fist the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head. Jaden’s eyes rake over me. That wide-eyed, lipbiting look drives me insane. I close my eyes to steady my focus. “My turn, right? Never have I ever had sex with a man.” “Neither have I,” she says casually, picking at her fingernails. “A boy or two but no—” She squeals when I grab her around the waist and pin her under me. “No man, huh?” She giggles and I bury my face in her neck, nipping and licking my way up to her mouth. “Maybe a little bit of a man.” I grind myself into the V of her jeans, and her gaze falls to a hooded stare. “Okay, definitely a man.” “That’s what I like to hear.” “Want to play another game?” she whispers, her mouth an inch away from my own. “What game is that?” She gives me a sultry smile that goes straight to my dick. “Seven minutes in heaven.” *** My phone rings as soon as Jaden walks into the kitchen. Her eyes search mine. We both know it’s Adam. Neither of us have talked to him since it happened,

or talked about Jaden and me. And frankly, since we spent three hours at the damn police office today, I don’t have the patience for Adam’s bullshit. “We should answer,” Jaden says. “I know Adam can be an asshole sometimes, and he blew things out of proportion, but he is my brother. We could at least talk to him.” I groan and drag my hand down my face. “I guess you’re right. Let me take a shower, and we’ll head over there. I’d rather do this face-to-face.” *** Forty minutes later, Jaden and I walk up the stairs to our apartment. Will’s truck isn’t in the parking lot. I have no idea where he is right now and frankly, I don’t give a shit. I wanted to kill him. I couldn’t stop my fists from pounding his face. If Adam hadn’t come when he did, I probably would be in a jail cell right now. Luckily, Adam vouched for me with the cops. Not that it didn’t get me a court date, but they let me go when they saw what Will done to Jaden. I push the door open, and Adam is sitting in the living room. He immediately stands when we walk in and places his interlaced fingers on the back of his head. “Hey,” he says. Jaden’s grip on my hand tightens, and I squeeze it back. “Hey.” Adam gestures for us to sit down. We take our seats across from him. Adam’s gaze keeps going back and forth between

us and our interlaced fingers, and my patience runs thin. “Maybe I should start,” Jaden says, clearing her throat. “Don’t be mad at Cade. I pursued him—”

Oh, no. “No,” I stop her, sitting up to look Adam in the eye. “I tried to stay away from your sister. God help me, I did. But I faltered, and I’m not sorry for it. I really care for her. And I’m not here to get your permission. I’m here to tell you that I’ll take care of her.” Adam stares blankly at us for a minute and runs both hands over his hair. “I’m not happy about you fucking my sister—” “I’m not just fucking her,” I snap. He laughs. “Yeah, you’re not just fucking her, huh, Cade? Christ!” He starts to pace back and forth. “You’re having sex with my baby sister, Cade! You’re supposed to be my friend.” “I am your friend, and I’m not just sleeping with her. She isn’t a fucking little girl anymore. Stop treating her like one!” “You don’t know what she’s been through. I can’t let another asshole break her heart!” “I know exactly what she’s going through, and I won’t break her heart. I love her.” Beside me, Jaden gasps, her eyes popping wide. It wasn’t that she didn’t know I loved her but because I’d admitted it to her brother. And she valued his opinion more than she realized she did. Adam swallows and watches me closely. But I’m not bullshitting him. It’s the truth, even though

he probably didn’t want to hear it. I turn to Jaden, and she slowly looks at me. “I do,” I whisper, rubbing my fingers over her knuckles. Adam laughs. “You love her? You don’t love anyone, Cade. You’re the one who gets ass like there is no tomorrow. Why Jaden?” He sighs. “Why does it have to be her?” “I didn’t pick her specifically. I tried to stay away from her. She’s a temptress—” “Ew,” Adam says, shaking his head. “Just stop.” He holds his hands up. “Okay, let’s say I’m okay with this. What now? My other best friend hung naked pictures of her all around school. I don’t know how to handle this.” God, he sounds like a woman. “Shut it, Adam. I’ve taken care of everything with the police. We went today and filed everything. Where is that best buddy of yours anyway?” “The hospital. You fucked him up, Cade.” “Isn’t that a good thing?” Adam smiles. “Hell yeah. Someone had to do it, and we both know my ass can’t fight.” I grin. “And I’m sorry about your Dad. But when he hit Jaden—,” “Wait, he hit you?” Adam turns to Jaden. “Wow. I mean the first time I thought it was just an accident but now —damn.” The first time? “He’s hit you before, Jaden?” Jaden’s eyes drop to her lap, and she nods. “Yes,

once before this summer. He was mad at me for not wanting to go to my appointment and he just hit me.” A tear drops from her eye, and I catch it with my finger. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. He won’t lay a finger on you again.” She nods and turns to face Adam. “Does this mean you forgive me?” Adam looks down at her and gestures for her to get up. She does and walks over to his waiting arms. “I’m not Dad, Jaden,” he whispers. “I love you, baby sister.” She sniffles into his shirt. “I love you, too.” And even though we both know this won’t be easy for him, I can sense everything’s going to be okay.

Chapter Twenty-Two Jaden Two weeks later Cade’s finger drags down the tip of my ear to the hollow of my neck. I swipe the last bit of mascara over my eyes. It’s been two weeks since I’ve been to school. Once we let them know that I didn’t toss the pictures out for everyone to see, and I had hidden long enough from everyone, I felt like I was ready. And I’m not sure if two weeks is long enough. Everyone is going to remember. The dean offered to have me transferred out of journalism, but another class will only make it worse. Words spread across campus, and I’d be the center of attention in that classroom too. I guess facing my demons is the only way out of this one. “You nervous?’ Cade whispers into my ear from behind. His hands are braced on the counter, his mouth doing wicked things to my neck and ears. We’re back at the apartment, but take random trips to his mom’s house for private time. Adam stills avoids us like the plague when we’re watching a movie or if we’re close to one another. He makes a face and leaves the room. Cade keeps saying he’ll get used to it, but I’m not really seeing any progress. We visited his Mom the other day, and she’s been

doing great. She looks better than before, and looks like she’s gained a little weight. Cade seems optimistic about his mother, and I know he needs my support because sometimes I see the worry line in his forehead. “I’m petrified,” I whisper. “Everyone saw it, Cade.” He growls and turns me around. “What did we talk about? We talked about being strong. Not giving a rat’s ass about what other people think.” I nod and breathe out a shaky sigh. “I know. I just don’t want to see her again.” I pull at a string hanging from the hem of my shirt. Cade’s grip tightens, and he tilts my head to get me to look him in the eyes. “You’re going to see her, Princess. But you’re going to have to push through it.” I swallow the terror in my throat. My lip trembles, and he stops it with his mouth. He molds it to mine, tracing my lower lip with his tongue before pulling back. “You’re going to be okay. And if not, I’m only a phone call away.” Pulling back, I run a comb through my hair in an attempt to get some air. I’ve got this. I have to have this. “They’re going to talk.” Cade nods. “Hell yeah they are. They saw your sexy ass naked.” I roll my eyes. “This is serious.” The smile on his face turns somber. “I know it is, Princess. And I’m being serious when I tell you that I know you can do it.” I swallow. “Okay.” Cade takes me to school and drives extra slowly. He

doesn’t say anything, only runs the pad of his thumb over my knuckles. *** Cade watches me closely once we’re in the parking lot of my first classroom building. “You don’t have to go, Jade but I think it’s a good idea.” I sigh and tighten my grip on the door handle for the fifth time. “I’m going.” Cade reaches over and cups the side of my face. “Princess, don’t make me turn this car around. It’s either that or I’m going to carry you into the classroom.” I smile. “I’m going.” He winks and presses a swift kiss to the corner of my mouth. “My phone is on loud in my pocket.” “Won’t you get in trouble if it rings in class?” I ask, trying to waste time. We both know that Cade doesn’t give a horse’s butt about getting into trouble. He lifts a brow. “You’re stalling, Princess. We can go —” I jut my palm out and shake my head slowly. “No, I’m going this time.” Cade leans over and gives me a soft kiss. “I’m here.” “I know.” I grab my bag and hop out of Cade’s pickup. I start walking toward the door, and I hear Cade pull off as soon as I shut the building’s glass door behind me. His tailpipe is loud, and I miss it as soon as it’s gone.

*** With my hand tightly clutching the strap of my bag, I make my way down the hallway. The last time I was in here it’d been littered with naked fliers of me. I briefly screw my eyes shut. I can do this. I’m strong. She doesn’t have any power

over me. The door is open wide like last time, and a few people are already sitting in their desks. I take a shaky breath and walk in. Everyone’s eyes pop up to mine, some snicker, and others toss me compassionate glances. I bite the inside of my lip, tilt my head up high, and trudge through the aisle until I’m at my seat. I feel them watching me, but I don’t look up. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I dig it from the depths of my jeans. Cade: Everything okay?

The professor walks in and puts her books on her desk. Her gaze settles on me, and I see the pity, but I look the other way. I don’t need it. I hurry and reply before shoving my phone back into my pocket. Several minutes pass, and my body starts to relax. Tons of my classmates are staring at me, they’ve all seen what I’ve got, but I ignore it. The professor turns the overhead on when the doors swings open. Selena walks in with the same guy she’s always with, the same guy that poured the liquid on me. His shirt is wrinkled and they both look like they’ve been

banging behind the building. “Take your seats,” the professor says. Selena ignores her, searching the rows until her eyes land on me. A sickening smile rises from the corner of her mouth. My heart sinks as she leans over to whisper something in the guy’s ear. My pen clutches in my hand and snaps in two. The guy next to me turns his head slightly toward me with a lifted brow, but I don’t meet his gaze directly. The professor is talking now, but all I see is red. My heartbeat thumps wildly against my ribs, something building within my chest. “I know. She’s such a slut,” someone whispers. The redhead must have come trailing in afterwards because she takes a seat next to Selena, and automatically turns toward her. They giggle and pull out one of the fliers, examining it so that everyone in the classroom can see. “We stopped on page one hundred last week,” the professor says, skimming her book. My throat clogs as I watch her pass the paper to the person sitting behind her, who looks at it and then over his shoulder at me.

No. No. No. “Yep, we stopped on page one hundred. Let’s turn our pages there, class—” Red swarms my already dizzy mind, and I’m up out of my seat before I can think twice. “Ms. Baker? Take your seat. Ms. Baker!”

My legs carry me across the classroom quickly, the opposite way I would have run last week. Now I’m standing over Selena’s desk. “What?” she snaps, crossing her arms over her shirt and sneering. “What do you want, slu—oh!” I punch her. With all my might, I swing and pop her in the jaw. Her head slings to the side, spit flying from her mouth. The class erupts in a fit of laughter. “Fight. Fight. Fight!” And I’m done. All my pain and torment spills out of me. Grabbing her by her two-hundred-dollar jacket, I sling her out of the desk. “Is this what you want, huh? You want your ass kicked in front of everyone?” I slug her again. This time she falls to the floor and curls into a pathetic ball. “All because of a boy that doesn’t give a shit about either one of us now!” I’m screaming, shaking, my body humming with adrenaline. I tighten my fists, but Selena looks up at me over teary eyes. And I know I shouldn’t feel bad for her. I should kick her ass now while I’m here, but I don’t. My fist unclenches, and I stare down at her. Pathetic and crying. I smile. “I feel so bad for you because you have to be one lonely bitch to be so mean. I pray that Satan takes it easy on you.” “Ms. Baker!” someone yells from behind me, but I don’t turn. I watch her as someone—I assume the dean of the department—drags me from the room because I can hear someone telling the students to calm down around me. And I don’t cry because I’m in trouble. I smile on the

way to the dean’s office. They always say “violence isn’t the answer,” but I’m not sure that’s always the case. Because I know now that Selena won’t mess with me anymore. She was just a bully. Someone so unhappy with her life that she tried to ruin mine. And some people just need a good old-fashioned ass-kicking to get over themselves. *** Cade jumps out of his truck and slams the door. The sun shines down on us as I make my way toward the tailgate of his truck. I lift my legs to get through the knee-high weeds. Cade laughs, and my stomach tightens at the sound. “Looks like Princess needs a new nickname.” He rubs the scruff on his jaw. “How about Rocky? Champ? What do you think?” I snort and help him lower the tailgate before hopping on the edge. “I think I like Princess the best.” He gives me a sexy smile and grips the nape of my neck. “Then Princess it is,” he whispers against my lips. “But look at you,” he says, shoving his phone in my face. “I’m on YouTube?” I gasp. “Oh, God.” Yep, there I am, cussing Selena out in front of the entire class. Do I really talk like that? I hide my face in my palms and try to stop the giggle. “I’m on YouTube.” Cade runs his fingers through his raven hair and smiles. “You’ve already got five thousand hits. Damn, girl. Remind me not to make you mad. You’ll knock me out.”

I snort and lean my head back, staring up at the sky. “Although fighting wasn’t what I suggested you do today, I’m proud of you,” he says, sliding his hand up the hem of my shirt. I shrug. “I just snapped.” Cade nods, making circles around my bellybutton. “It must be something about bitches because they go down easily. Look at Will. Out like a light.” Definitely true. Will went down like a sack of potatoes. He hasn’t been back to the apartment; he sent some of his dad’s workers in to get his things. His lawyer gave me a note last week from Will. I didn’t tell Cade about it because I know he doesn’t want me interacting with Will. It said he was sorry. And that he was jealous that I’d started seeing Cade. When Selena come to him with the plan that he just agreed. Cade had suspected it was because of us, but now I know for sure it was. But it didn’t make a difference why he done what he done, but that I was going to overcome it. And Cade was my strength. I giggle and relax when Cade’s hand drifts over my ribs and down the curve in my side. “You talked to your dad?” “Unfortunately. He called the other day. Supposedly the school sent my letter of two week leave to him for some ungodly reason.” Cade traces up between my breast and then back down. “What did you say to him?” I smile. “That I whooped Selena’s ass.”

Cade grins and tickles the side of my ribs as I try to get away. “He was mad?” “Of course. He started telling me that I needed to come home so that he could make sure I was doing right.” Cade watches me carefully. “And you said?” “Screw you.” The corner of his lip pulls up, and he barks out a laugh. “That a girl. Someone is growing some balls around here, and I’m sad to say it isn’t me.” “You’re big enough already. Leave some growing room for the little people.” He groans and rolls over until he’s hovering over me. “I like that you’re small. You’re portable.” “Oh yeah? Where will you be carrying me, Cade?” He shrugs and dips his head to take my mouth in his. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll carry you to the airport this summer.” This summer. I can’t help the huge grin that spreads across my face. “Sydney,” I whisper. “We’re going to Australia.” Cade and I decided there wasn’t anything keeping us from what we want to do. And since it’s been my dream for as long as I remember, traveling is part of the deal. Our deal. “Yeah, we are. And then London. And then Japan. Anywhere you want to go, we’ll go, Princess.” I span my hands over his chest and feel the hard muscles beneath his thin T-shirt. “Have you talked to your mom?” Cade’s smile falters a bit. “She’s trying. That’s more

than I can usually say for her.” “She’ll get there. I know she will. Does she know yet?” Cade guides me down on his chest. “I don’t think I’m going to tell her about the guy,” he says. “I don’t want her to worry.” I smile. “You’re so sweet, Cade.” He rolls his eyes and puffs out his chest. “Don’t call me sweet, Princess. I’m supposed to be macho. Or tough. Not sweet. I knew you were going to ruin my reputation.” I toss my head back and laugh. “Your reputation was ruined the minute I walked into that apartment building, Cade.” Cade gives me a wicked smile before dropping his mouth to mine. My lips part for him, and he growls in response. “You’re damn right, woman.” I settle into his touch and let myself freefall into his eyes. “We know everywhere I want to go. What about you?” I poke his chest. “Where do you want to go?” Cade smiles, running the pad of his thumb against my bottom lip. “Jaden, I don’t care where we are, as long as you’re here with me, I don’t give a shit.” A small laugh erupts from my mouth. “That was almost sweet, Cade.” “Almost sweet is better than sweet. I’m working my mojo back up. Now get your cute butt over here and strip for me, woman.” I grin. “Now you’re hardly sweet. It’s working.” He grabs my waist and drags me underneath him

until he’s blocking out the sun. “I love you, Jade,” he whispers. My heart flutters. He watches me intensely, his eyes following the curves of my face and down to my lips. The words form on my tongue, and I know they were meant to be there. No second guess. No what-if moments. “I love you, too. But you’re back to being sweet.” He grins. “Damn it.” Then he takes my mouth with his.

The End

Where You Are Book 1 in the Together Series Alla Kar

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The author makes no claims to, but instead acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the word marks mentioned in this work of fiction. Copyright © 2014 by Alla Kar WHERE YOU ARE by Alla Kar All rights reserved. Published in the United States of America by Swoon Romance. Swoon Romance and its related logo are registered trademarks of Georgia McBride Media Group, LLC. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Published by Swoon Romance Cover designed by Najla Qamber

To those with a haunted past. Yesterday is history.

“Right from the start, you were a thief, you stole my heart, And I your willing victim.” — Pink

Where You Are Alla Kar

Chapter One Laney “And there will be a time, you’ll see. With no more tears. And love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears.” — Mumford & Sons Cold coffee. Is there anything worse? Staring down into my owl coffee mug, the cool brown liquid gawks up at me in mock humor. The cord is lying on the counter beside the pot, not plugged into the wall where it was last night. Instead, Heather’s—my looks-obsessed roommate—straightener is plugged in. What’s the point of having a timed coffeepot if

it’s unplugged every morning before you get a chance to use it? I grit my teeth and blow my bangs from my forehead. I snatch the cord from the plug-in and toss the straightener on her bed. Hopefully, she’ll get the point. Instead of pouring the coffee down our sink, I sip on it. Hell shall freeze over before I go a morning without my coffee. Hell frozen-over would probably be hotter than my coffee right now. I grab my backpack, tie my blond hair into a messy bun, push up my thick, black-rim hipster glasses, and walk out of our dorm room. I lock the door and head toward class, the aroma of perfumes swarming my nose. A few girls in towels race

down the hall, screaming. Like clockwork, a tall muscular guy follows behind them, a huge I’m-going-to-get-some grin on his face. College is definitely a guy’s wet dream come true. Especially, in a co-ed dorm. He’ll have one of them pressed against their dorm room door tonight. They’re all so predictable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly fine to date. But, doing it wisely is a completely different issue. Girls aren’t the smartest when it comes to dating. The three C’s that guys can’t stand are clinginess, crying, and clumsiness. I know it’s not possible to walk like a runway model twentyfour seven. And we all know girls tend to cry, especially around that time of the month. But it’s all about the game. You’ve got to play it right, so you can snag a great guy. It’s so easy to rope one in as long as you focus, and I don’t mean on his abs. I’m almost clear of the hallway when I hear my name. I turn on my heel. Heather is frowning from the lounge doorway. Her long black hair is perfectly straightened. I hope she gets a medal for her hair today, because that would be the only reason I’d forgive her for unplugging my coffeepot. She pouts her pink-coated lips and curls her finger for me to come closer. “She’s crying again.” Damn it. I don’t have to ask. I know it’s Bethany and I know why she’s crying. It’s the same damn thing every week. Sighing, I walk into the lounge. A few girls surround her, patting her back and trying to calm her down. It’s not going to work, because she’ll be in the same position next

week. She glances up over her long lashes and slender nose. Her strawberry blond hair is messy and hangs loosely down to her breasts. “I just—I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. It’s like every time he sees me coming, he goes the opposite direction. What do I do—” she breaks off in a fit of sobs. I’m thinking of a million different ways to escape when Heather claps her hands loudly. “I know. Laney—why don’t you help her? You helped me with Todd. You got him to ask me out in two days. You could help Bethany.” Oh, the agony. I don’t know if I could stand two minutes in a room alone with her. I give her a small fake smile and shrug. She looks like the damn cat off of Shrek, with her wide eyes and trembling bottom lip. If I say no I’ll look like a major bitch. “Who is it this ti—?” I stop myself. She wipes her nose and tries to straighten her hair. I want to tell her that’s not going to work, she needs a brush, but I keep my mouth shut. “Aiden Sims.” And the heavens opened up and released the hottest male specimen to come to Jacksonville University. Well, that’s what he thinks anyway. Aiden is the playboy of our small university and he plays his Abercrombie-model good looks to his advantage. I grumble under my breath and pull my strap up my shoulder to keep it from falling. “Have you had sex with him?” A few of the hovering girls gasp. Oh, get over it. Bethany shakes her head. “No, we haven’t.”

“Great. That means you still have a chance to get him.” “Wait,” a redheaded girl says from the corner of the room. “You’re telling me that if we’ve had sex with a guy, and he hasn’t committed, we’re screwed?” I nod. “Pretty much. You’ve never heard why buy the cow when the milk is free?” The redhead scoffs. “How do you know so much about this stuff, and who made you queen?”

Rawr. Someone hasn’t had their panties down lately. Heather raises her index finger and rolls her neck; that’s how I know she’s going to tell someone off. “She knows exactly what to do when it comes to getting guys. I’ve been with Todd for five months.” Red shakes her head. “But why don’t you have a boyfriend then, Laney?” A long, hard pain starts to build in the depth of my stomach. My eyes feel funny and my heartbeat is heavy in my chest. I will not think about him. No, I refuse. “No one has interested me yet.” Which is almost true, no one at this college has been worth my time. But that’s not the real reason. Red grabs her coffee and sways out of the room.

Please, bring me back that coffee! A tall brunette sitting in the corner clears her throat and leans over the worn lobby chair. “What else. I mean— any other advice?” Everyone turns to look at me. I should totally charge for this. I shrug. “You can’t show that you’re too interested.

No waiting for his text. He needs to be waiting for yours.” I take a sip of my cold coffee. “Don’t throw yourselves at him. Don’t take fifty million pictures on the second date. Make him work for it.” Most of the girls nod slowly at me, waiting for more advice. I glance at the wall clock. I’m going to be so late. “Laney,” Bethany asks, drawing my attention back to her. “Can you help me? I don’t know what move to make. Please.” Can I help you, or will I help you? It’s not like my small job at the writing center takes up that much time. Hell, I have tons of free time. That’s exactly why I have a TBR list on my Kindle a mile long. I tug at my ponytail, then give Heather a defeated look. “Okay, I can help. You want to meet me tonight? We’ll go over our strategy.” Bethany smiles. I think it’s the first one I’ve seen on her face since she moved in last semester. “Well, I have plans to go out tonight. Aiden is going to be there, if you want to meet up?” Oh, no. I don’t like where this is going. I’m not a big partier. I’m twenty-two and couldn’t care less about getting wasted. I do it sometimes, but only for celebration or if I’m really bored. “Where are you guys meeting?” Bethany stands up, adjusting her boobs in her shirt. No wonder guys flock to her, and no wonder they leave. She leaves nothing to the imagination. “The Loft down on King Street.” She places her hands on her slender hips. “You coming? I really want to start now.” The black lines of mascara running down her face

makes me sad. She is really desperate. Crying in the thirdfloor lounge isn’t the fix-it problem she was looking for and I can’t blame her. All the girls surrounding her right now would advise her to do the absolute wrong thing. I huff. It’s just one night. “Okay, I’ll meet you there at nine.” *** Since I was pulled into the lounge this morning, I am ten minutes late for class. Which is something I never am. I walk to my seat, conscious of the entire class watching me like I have a paper bag over my head and I’m waving a gun around. “Ms. Scott, please tell me there is an excellent reason you’ve missed the first ten minutes of my class.” When college students tell you that college professors don’t call you out like in high school, they’re all a bunch of dirty liars. My professors live to embarrass people. I guess it’s all they have for fun in their old age. And Dr. Phillips is the worst. Definitely not the kind of professor I had in mind when I signed up for creative writing. I love to write short stories, but if I’m going to have to read them to the entire class, I don’t think I like writing them anymore. “Big fire in my dorm room, everyone was running down the street in their underwear, screaming.” I plop my book bag down in my regular seat. A few of my classmates laugh under their breath. Dr. Phillips gives me a tight-lipped grin. “Don’t be a

smart-mouth, Laney. Sit down and open to page six eightysix.” I flip through my book until I land on one of Edgar Allen Poe’s poems. Great, now I have to listen to this depressing bullshit. I swear Dr. Phillips lives to bring his students down. “Don’t worry, at least you missed the first ten minutes of the torture session,” Jacks says. I laugh and turn around, handing him one of the PopTarts that was shoved down into the depths of my bag. Jacks’ dorm room is right next to mine. He was the only reason I made it through the first week of school. Where he is nice-looking, tall, blond, and has big brown eyes, he doesn’t act like a hormone-crazed, fifteen-year-old boy. Maybe it has something to do with being older and a senior. “Thanks, bud. I would go hungry without you.” He takes a large bite and half of the Pop-Tart is already gone. I shrug, then turn around in my seat, whispering, “I hear I’m hard to live without.” Jacks laughs and taps my shoulder. I glance back. He holds up a piece of paper with an Ogre-looking guy that, I assume, is Dr. Phillips. He has a huge mustache with Coke-bottle glasses. Not to mention a huge erection. Okay, maybe he doesn’t act that much older. I can’t help it; I laugh. Loudly. I snort, and that makes Jacks laugh, too. Soon I see a shadow fall over my desk. I glance back, trying my damnedest to give the best innocent look I can conjure up. It doesn’t work.

Dr. Phillips is sneering down at us. He reaches out and snatches the paper from Jacks. “Hmph.” He tears the paper into pieces and crosses his arms. I’m sure he is contemplating some diabolic plan to make our lives hell. “I need to see you both after class.” Fuck. Narrowing my eyes, I flip Jacks the bird over my shoulder. I hear him chuckle and feel a hard slap on my shoulder. Class goes by just as slow as it always does, and I know I heard someone snoring in the back row. When everyone starts to get up, I debate hiding behind the tall guy that sits in the back and escaping unnoticed. It doesn’t work. Dr. Phillips’ beady eyes are watching Jacks and me closely. “Don’t worry, Laney. I got this,” Jacks says, gripping my elbow and leading me toward Dr. Phillips’ desk. We stand in front of the desk, staring down at him. I feel like I’m in second grade again, when I called a girl in my class a cry baby and got in trouble. “Ms. Scott and Mr. Tate. I don’t appreciate your lack of respect for my class and myself. So, what to do with you both? I could overlook it…but I don’t think I will.”

Of course not. Jacks pinches my side and I bite my lip to keep from laughing. “I volunteer at the Cook Off down at the YMCA every year. It’s coming up. If you two show up and help, I’ll excuse this rudeness. Then we can go on with our lives.”

Cook Off? What. The. Fuck? Just because Dr. Phillips doesn’t have a life, doesn’t mean we don’t. “I—” “We’ll be there. When is it?” Jacks asks. I scrunch my nose and bite back a smartass remark. “This Sunday at seven. Then the final round will be next Tuesday at six. I suggest you two show up and do your share. I don’t appreciate childish bullshit in my classroom.” Sure, you don’t. Jacks gives Dr. Phillips a halfassed salute and pulls me closer to the door. “You asshole,” I say, shoving his shoulder. Jacks raises his palms in mock surrender. “I’m sorry. He was going to make us miss a test or something. You know how they are. I can’t miss any more tests; I’m graduating next semester. And I refuse to stay here any fucking longer.” I roll my eyes. “I hate you.” Jacks wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in close. “Like hell you do.”

Chapter Two Laney “No one said it was going to be easy. But no one said it was going to be this hard.” - Coldplay I look like a stereotypical blond. Heather is standing in front of me, hands clasped in front of her. She looks like a proud mom. “Oh, sweetheart. You look so sexy. Who would have known that you have an ass?” I lift an eyebrow. “I look like Kim Kardashian.” Heather fluffs her hair in the mirror, tugging down her already too low-cut black T-shirt. “That’s a bad thing because?” I refuse to answer that. “I just want to get this over with. I don’t know why Bethany is so worried about Aiden anyway. He’s slept with half of the female student population. Plus, he isn’t even that cute.” Heather turns around and lifts an eyebrow at me. “Okay, he is a little attractive, but he isn’t any good. He will stomp all over her heart. He already has.” Heather tries to fix my top. “Well, you can help her snag him. You helped me with Todd, who is going to be at The Loft tonight.” She squeals. I almost regret helping her. If I have to see them stick their tongues down one another’s throat one more time, I may gag myself with my own fingers.

“Come on, you look like a sexy bitch. Let’s go.” Heather and I drive to The Loft in her black, 1967 Camaro. Her dad is a mechanic and has every vintage vehicle known to man. I tell her about Jacks and me in class today. She laughs and says I’m on my own. She goes home every Sunday for church with her family. And I doubt she would try to miss it for a Cook Off. She has the radio blasting and is smoking a cigarette. I grab my stomach and roll down the window. It’s not the smoke that bothers me, it’s the familiarity. He used to smell like that. He would take long, luscious drags before glancing up at me from under his long lashes. I force the memories back down. I can’t—I won’t think about him. Not now. Not here. “Sorry, is the cigarette smoke bothering you?” Heather starts to wave the smoke away from me. I don’t trust my voice enough to answer. I glance out the window and watch as The Loft comes into view. “You know, that girl in the lounge today had a point… why don’t you have a boyfriend? I mean, you’re so cute, with your alternative clothes and little figure. I just…how do you know so much about boys, yet you haven’t dated anyone since you started college?” Sighing, I run my hands over my hair that Heather made me leave down for tonight. “I just haven’t found anyone worth dating. I just know what to expect. Any girl can do it, all she has to do is sit down and realize all guys want one thing. Once they get it, they’re done, finished. Unless, you make them work for it. Guys like a challenge. It’s

common sense.” “Well, maybe we could find you a sleeping buddy for the night. Get you a good lay in. You deserve it, babe.” A good lay in? Hell to the no. Knowing the guys at our school, I know that I want to keep my STD tests negative. “I think I’ll just worry about Bethany tonight.” Heather rolls her eyes and parks the car. “Okay, let’s do this.” The Loft is slammed with college kids. The bouncer takes our money and lets us through the door. Heather wraps her arm through mine and pushes us a path through the crowded bar. Bethany is sitting at a table with another girl, sipping some girly drink. Her eyes light up when we get to the table. “This is the girl that’s going to help me,” she says, patting my shoulder. Her friend gives her a what the hell looks and excuses herself. Obviously, I’m not up to par. “Bitch,” Heather yells, flagging a waiter down. Bethany wraps her hands around my arms and pulls down to get my attention. Her eyes are narrowed, and she is looking at the dance floor. I follow her gaze and sure enough, Aiden Sims is grinding on some girl. Classy. Bethany is swooning over him as soon as I look back at her. I snap my fingers in front of her eyes. “Stop that. That is always a no-no. No giving boys any more of a big head than they already have. Now, what’s your relationship been like with him? What’s happened?” A pale look swallows her face. She nibbles at her lip and picks at her finger. “He asked me out last weekend.

We came here and danced…then went back to his place.” “Back to his place? What happened after that?” She has to be lying. I point-blank asked her in the lobby if they had sex. She is swooning over a guy she just met? Really? They definitely had sex. She takes her drink and downs it. “We had sex,” she yells, covering her face with her hands. Great. I take her hands and put them down by her side. “Look, no crying, that’s another rule. Guys hate that. He’s already gotten what he wants out of you; there is no going back. Sorry.” I shrug. “I can’t help you anymore.” Bethany begins to nod and doesn’t stop for a few minutes. I want to feel bad for her, but she brought it upon herself. Keep your legs closed, is what I want to yell. Stop

letting him touch you! You take control. Always be in control. Heather places a shot glass down in front of me. I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t act like you’ve never seen a shot glass before, Lane.” She downs hers and gives Bethany a worried glance. “So, this is a no go?” She gestures between the two of us. I nod and sip a little of my shot. Gah, nasty shit. Bethany places her elbows on the table and reaches for some chips. “I don’t know what to do. I mean…I just…I liked him and I thought he liked me. So, I went back with him. I’d had a little bit too much to drink…and God, he smells like Heaven.”

I roll my eyes. “You want to try someone else? Any other guy you’ve had your eye on?” She shrugs and runs a finger over the rim of her empty glass. She looks so innocent with her strawberry blond hair and big blue eyes. “No. Look at him out there; he looks so carefree and happy. Why can’t I move on like that?” I take a chip and chomp on it. “Because he was never looking for anything but a one-night stand. He got it, now he is on to his next target.” Bethany mumbles. “I wish we could just break his heart and show him how it feels.” Yeah, right. Taking a couple of chips, I shove them in my mouth. I shouldn’t have skipped dinner. Heather was on my ass all night long about looking slim for the club. I reach for another chip when I see Bethany and Heather are both staring at me. You know, with those we took a vote and you lost eyes. “What?” Suddenly my chip isn’t very appetizing; I toss it back into the basket. Heather wiggles her eyebrows, which really shows me that they’re up to something I won’t like. “Well, since you know how to treat guys…you can go out with him, then break his heart once he falls in love with you. You’re freaking adorable and have the nicest ass. He likes asses.”

Wow, is that supposed to make me feel better? “What—absolutely no. No. No. No. Not going to happen. You want me to go out with the damn ass monster.”

“Oh, come on, Laney. You can date him for a couple of weeks and then be done. Please…I would do anything! He deserves it, look at him!” Bethany shouts, pointing at him. I glance over my shoulder at Aiden. He is grinding on some girl and checking another one out. I scoff. “Sure, he is an asshole, Bethany. But I’m definitely not your girl for this.” Heather opens her mouth to say something when two tree trunks of arms wrap around her from behind. She squeals as he nuzzles her neck. “Hey, girls. You three having a great night?” I hold up my half-empty shot glass and give Todd a sarcastic smile. He snorts and starts to pull Heather toward the dance floor. He has no idea I coached Heather through their entire dating experience. It didn’t take long before he was texting her nonstop and asking her to be exclusive. Sucker. They seem happy together so I can’t say it wasn’t worth it. “I just wish I had that,” Bethany says, pointing toward Heather and Todd. I grab my shot glass and down the rest. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Will you be okay until I get back?” She nods and glances off into the distance. She

doesn’t know it, but there is no way she can make me feel guilty for not pretending to date this guy. I’m not the one that had sex with him. Scooting my chair against the tile floor, I start toward

the bathroom. I push my way through the crowd. A few elbows get shoved in my face and a couple of half-drunk assholes fall on me. I push even harder and thank God once I break free of the crowd. The florescent bathroom light blinds me, so I walk in with my hand cupped over my brows, eyes squinted. Several girls are doing their makeup in the mirror and don’t even look my way. “I can’t believe how hot he is,” one says. Placing the plastic toilet seat cover over the top, I sit down. “I know. He is almost too sexy. I mean, take me home whenever you like, Aiden.” I mentally throw up on myself and flush the toilet. The girls leave as I open the stall door. They look just like Bethany. The same kind of dress and obviously they all love Aiden as well. After I wash my hands, I push past the bathroom door. There are a group of guys standing just outside the girls’ bathroom. Tucking my chin toward my chest, I push past them and into the crowd. I can vaguely see the top of Bethany’s head when a heavy arm flops onto my shoulder.

What. The. Fuck— “Hey, baby,” someone slurs into my ear. Damn, have you ever heard of a breath mint? “Wanna dance with me? I like dat ass you got back there.” Fucking gross. “Okay, get off of me now.” Pushing the tree trunk of an arm over me, I turn around. Aiden is staring down at me, a devilish smile rising from the corner

of his full lips. “Baby, you know you wanna.” He reaches out and tries to grab my shoulder. I duck out of his reach and start toward our table. Heather must still be dancing, because Bethany is the only person sitting there. She is texting and she seems like she is in a better mood. “Took you long enough…what happened to you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I give her a shaky grin, then grab her drink and down it. “No problem, just a long line in the bathroom.” My tongue is starting to feel heavy. What in the hell did Heather give

me? I wipe my palm against my sweaty forehead. “So—” “Baby.” Ah, fuck face. “You ran away from me… why?” Aiden slides into the seat next to me, running his fingers through his blond hair. I’m sure he bleaches it, but we’ll let him think we think it’s real. Glancing at Bethany, I shrug. She is wide-eyed, her fingers clutched tightly around her shot glass. “First off, I’m not your baby. I’m no one’s baby. Secondly, I have no idea who the fuck you are and you don’t know me. Why don’t you go find someone else to dance with, huh?” He chuckles and tosses his arm around my waist, pulling my chair closer to his. “Oh, baby…we don’t have to know each other.” Okay, this is starting to get annoying . “For the last fucking time—” “Hi, Aiden.” Bethany glares at him from across the

table. She is mad as hell. Aiden squints, his mouth falling open. He looks like he is trying to figure out who she is. “Hi, Aiden,” she says, louder this time. I almost tell her I think he heard you, but decide to keep my mouth closed. He stands up, getting closer to her face. A blond strand of hair falls and he pushes it back up, scratching his scruffy jaw on the way down. He doesn’t remember her, it’s pretty obvious. Bethany is livid. I can practically see the damn heat rising off of her. “It’s Bethany, you asshole. My name is Bethany. You fucked me last weekend. Remember? Or you don’t? I guess it’s pretty obviously that you don’t.” Aiden seems a tad more sober now, but he tilts his head and gives Bethany a once over. “Nah, you sure?”

Ah hell. Everyone hide their silverware, she’s going to lose it. Tears are building at the corners of Bethany’s eyes. A sadness that I’ve seen too many times. Aiden doesn’t notice; he is too busy staring down my shirt. “So, what about that dance?” Bethany is holding her breath. I bite my lip and close my eyes for the briefest of moments. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. “Not a big dancer, but I wouldn’t mind something to drink.” Aiden smiles. This is music to the devil’s ears. “Anything for you, baby. I’ll be back in a bit.” Bethany is staring at me when I glance back over at her. I raise an eyebrow. “Get up, let’s go.” She furrows her brow. “What do you mean?” I grab the remainder of someone’s drink and toss it

back. I feel the burn all the way down to my toes. “Let Momma show you how it’s done.”

Chapter Three Lachlan “Don’t you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you” — Miley Cyrus “Come on, mate, I don’t have all damn day.” The taxi driver is sending daggers at me through his review mirror. I salute him until he glances the other way. Damn this American traffic. I haven’t been back since high school, but I’m not missing it as of now. Jacksonville’s traffic is way worse than I remember. I thought there wouldn’t be one reason for me to ever come back here, until Lucas called and said he was getting married. Dirty

twit. The taxi driver swerves through the crowded street and pulls up to Lucas’s apartment building. Thank God. Grabbing my bag, I toss him the money and step out. “Damn British asshole,” the driver mumbles beneath his breath. Slamming the door with my foot, I say over my shoulder, “I’m Australian, arsehole.” The place is a lot nicer than I expected. Lucas wasn’t raised with much, and I liked that about him. When I moved to Florida with my parents when I was thirteen, Lucas took me in as a friend. When my parents and I moved back to Australia four years ago, it killed me deep

down to leave her, but I knew I needed to. I started to hate this place as the years went by. Just the thought of Florida made me hurt. Building C is in the front, so I take the stairs to room three twenty-three. Before I can knock, the door swings opened. “You Australian bastard.” Lucas opens his arms wide and grins like a Cheshire cat. Unable to control myself, I pull him in for a hug. “Damn it, bro. I was hoping you’d gained some weight. I don’t want my best man looking better than me at my own wedding.” “I won’t brush my hair, maybe that’ll give you a shot. I haven’t seen you in yonks, how have you been?” He lifts an eyebrow. Damn, I forgot. I need to talk American. “It’s been a long time, how are you?” Lucas laughs and gestures for me to follow him. His apartment is messy, but that’s no surprise. It’s large, and that sixty-two-inch telly seems very satisfying. “So, where is this lovely fiancé? I’m dying to meet her.” Lucas calls out from the fridge, bringing two beers out. “She is at school. She has late classes on Fridays.” I nod, hoping he’ll change the subject quickly. When I told Lucas I wasn’t going to college he flipped the hell out. Not that my dad didn’t give me enough shit about it. “What do we have planned for tonight? I wouldn’t mind getting into a little trouble.” I take the beer from Lucas’s hand and pop the top. It feels great sliding down my throat. “You were always great

at picking party places. How about you show me what you got?” Lucas scratches the back of his neck, and I can see that he’s debating what to say next. I’m not sure why. “I didn’t ask you to strip down into your knickers and screw me, Luke. Just a drink at a bar? Maybe get a little plonked for old times sake, mate.” Lucas sits across from me and laughs, sipping on his beer. “I don’t really go out much anymore since…” “Since you’re getting married?” Ah, damn. “Are you marrying one of those spewin’ whinger girls?” I’m just bullshitting him, but he seems so uncomfortable. “I’m just joking with you, mate. We can hang out here for the night, if you want.” Lucas sighs, then props his feet on the table. “So, how was your flight?” “Fucking long. Not to mention the taxi driver going ten miles the entire way here. I wanted to strangle him.” “Tell me about it,” he says, avoiding eye contact. That’s it. I place my beer on the table. “What’s going on? You’re acting stranger than usual. Go ahead and spit it out, buddy.” Lucas laughs. “Is it that obvious?” I nod and gesture for him to continue. He stands and comes back a moment later with a flier in his hands. “It’s this Sunday. I know you liked to cook in high school, but this isn’t High School Musical and you need to own this. You’re not in school, you’re a whartie, right? Whatever the hell that

is.” He presses his lips together. “Do this. What do you have to lose?” Damn. Now I get why he has been so quiet. I examine the paper. It’s a Cook Off at the YMCA. The winner gets a chance to work at some new restaurant they’re opening in town. This is…ridiculous. I’m not that great of a cook, so why waste my time? And plus, I have no intention of moving back to Florida and even if I did, I don’t know if I’d want to work in a restaurant. I toss the flier back onto the table and glance over at Lucas. He rolls his eyes and interlocks his fingers behind his head. “Just give it a shot, bro. The worse that could happen is you don’t win. You won’t lose anything.” I click my tongue against my cheek and crack my neck. “Look, I’m zonked. I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises.” I stand and grab my bag. “Where am I sleeping? I think I want to take a small nap.” Lucas sighs and gestures for me to follow him. His apartment is large and I’m glad to see that he has two bedrooms. We get to the hallway where picture frames are lined across the wall. I turn left and see her. It takes me a few seconds to breathe right again. Nausea rises up my throat. I drop my bag, lean against the wall with one hand and cough into the other. I haven’t seen even a picture of her since high school. But I think about her constantly. Her large green eyes are sparkling behind a pair of thick-rimmed black glasses. Damn, they look good on her. This isn’t a newer picture.

It’s at least a few years old, maybe eleventh grade. “I’m sorry, bro. I forgot to take it down.” My throat constricts. I feel like a damn pussy, falling all over myself because of a picture. “I haven’t seen her since graduation,” Lucas says. “She hasn’t answered my calls in two years. I finally stopped trying to contact her. She is going to Jacksonville University, down the street.” She stayed here? Why? Her dream was always to go to California and draw. Why didn’t she live her dream? Clearing my throat, I straighten and grab my bag. “No problem, mate. Can you show me to the loo?” Lucas knows…I can see the concern in his eyes. He is the only one that knows the torment I went through with her. The tears I cried like a damned woman. He never judged, only patted my back and listened to me vent. It was horrible. God, I fucking miss the girl so much. Shaking my head, I follow Lucas to a back bedroom. “You have your own bathroom over here. There is a small balcony through those doors, and you know where the kitchen is. Make yourself at home. Take a nap and then I’ll wake you later.” I don’t sit down until I hear the door click. Gripping my hair, I tug, hard. She is here, in this city. So close to me. But so far. What would she say if she saw me? Would she

let me hug her? Touch her alabaster skin, or that round, tight ass? I huff. Fucking doubtful. She hates me. Not that I

blame her, but it wasn’t my fault. It was both of ours. We did this to ourselves, wound up in each other so tight that it hurt so much worse when it ended. My head hurts from the thoughts, so I lie back on the bed. I turn off the memories and drift to sleep. *** “He is cute.” I hear a grumble, then a small giggle. “Hey, watch out, or I’ll bend you over this bed.” What. The. Bloody Hell? I open one eye and glance up at Lucas and a girl I assume is his fiancé. She is smiling down at me, hand outstretched. “I’m Savannah,” she says. Rubbing my fist into my eyes, I sit up. She is really cute, not that I didn’t expect her to be. Lucas is pretty shallow. But she seems nice enough. “I’m Lachlan, nice to meet you, luv.” She giggles, making Lucas roll his eyes. “Hey, I can call you luv, too, sweetheart.” Savannah laughs and brushes her chest against Lucas. Now I see what drew him in. She has the biggest tits I’ve seen in a while, that are real, at least. Lucas has always been a tit guy; I’m more of an ass man myself. “So, what do we have going on?” I sling my feet over the bed and blink a few times. “Savannah says she wants us to go out and have a night to ourselves. She is going to have some girlfriends over. Sound good?”

“Too right,” I say, standing. Savannah furrows her brows, and I know she has no idea what that means. She wraps her arms around Lucas’s neck and brings him down to her level. “You guys behave tonight. Keep him in line for me, Lachlan.” I give her a salute. She waves and disappears into the hallway. “So, what do you think about her? Keeper?” Shaking my fingers through my hair, I step into another pair of shoes. “I think she is adorable, and if you love her that is all I need.” Lucas looks relieved. I never really understood why he worries about my opinion so much. “Good, now get ready. We’re leaving in ten.” *** Music blares across the parking lot, causing the car’s windows to shake. It feels like home. Bars, clubs, anything with dancing, beer, and food has been my home for the last few years. The smell of nachos makes my mouth water. We don’t have nacho cheese in Australia. It kind of sucks; they don’t know what they’re missing. Lucas leads me toward a tall bar table in the corner of the club. He scoots in and flags a waitress down easily. “What can I get you guys?” Her eyes rake over Lucas, obviously checking him out. He waves her off. “Two Buds, Jen. Thanks.” I lift an eyebrow. Lucas tucks his head, like a turtle

ducking back inside its shell. “What?” “Where has my best friend gone? That girl was checking you out, mate.” Lucas jabs his thumb toward Jen. “Nah, bro. Not interested.” I smile to myself. It’s nice to hear that my friend has finally grown up. About damn time. He was the player of all players in high school. Jen sets our drinks down a few minutes later, and I order some nachos. “So,” Lucas says, chugging his drink. “You found anyone special down under?” I down half my beer and wipe my mouth. No, I haven’t. The truth is that I haven’t even looked at another girl since senior year. Sure, I’ve fucked plenty of them. But fucking and actually finding someone special are two completely different things. I shrug. “Just the normal onenighters, no one special.” Lucas frowns, but tries to hide it with his drink. “Well, if you’re feeling froggy tonight, there is a girl to your left that has been checking you out since we walked in the door.” Lifting an eyebrow, I glance over my shoulder. A blond—long legs, tight Band-Aid dress—is staring at me from the bar. She blushes, then turns toward her friend. “Well, hot fucking damn,” I say, taking a sip. “I’ll be right back.” Lucas chuckles as I get up. I can feel the beer start to tingle through me. It doesn’t take much. That’s how I like it. The blond is leaning against the bar when I get to her. She isn’t as attractive up close, but she’s pretty cute. Her

hair isn’t as long as I like and her skirt is way too short. “Hi, luv. Having a great night?” Her bleached brows pull down in the middle, but she giggles regardless. “You’re foreign.” She giggles again, running her hand against my chest. Her eyes widen. I work out…a lot. It’s the only pleasure I get besides drinking myself to sleep and sometimes we all need a break from Jack Daniels. “Australian, doll. What’s your name? And better yet, why are you all alone?” Flipping her blond hair, she pokes out her chest. That’s fucking right, she has some nice tits. “Amanda,” she purrs. “What’s yours?” I shake my head. I don’t want to tell her. Not that it matters or she’ll remember tomorrow, but I don’t like to tell them. “Does it matter? Let’s go dance.” She shrugs, gives her purse to her friend, and follows me out to the dance floor. We maneuver through the bodies until we get to the center of room. She automatically presses her tight ass against my dick. Fuck…it’s been a week since I’ve had sex and it feels like three. I grab her waist, grinding her against me. She isn’t that great of a dancer, but who gives a fuck, right? She slings her head back and forth as she continues to dance on me. My dick protests, wondering why I haven’t pressed her against the bathroom wall and fucked her yet. The beer is starting to creep up on me, making me sway along with the music better. She doesn’t complain when I reach my hands up her

dress and cup her. She’s warm and wet beneath her knickers. She moans when I touch the fabric. “Why doesn’t your pretty ass follow me? I’m sure I can make you feel better, baby.” A loud moan leaves her lips and she is nodding like a bobblehead before I can finish my sentence. I tug on her waist, pressing her body against mine. She feels…almost right. Almost like I remember her feeling like. Then she reaches up and pulls at my jaw, trying to force my mouth down on hers. It’s sloppy, unattractive, and needy. I maneuver my mouth away from her, and she whines.

Great. Lucas isn’t sitting at our table anymore, but I don’t care. I need this release, I need to feel…something. Halfcarrying her drunk ass, I open the men’s bathroom door and lock it behind me. She is pulling off her dress as soon as I turn around. Her matching black knickers are tight to her, her large breasts spilling over her bra. Biting my lip, I grip her waist and lift her up onto the wall. She lets out a yelp and giggles loudly in my ear. I don’t even care that she is wasted, or that she smells like alcohol and too much perfume. I’m going to bury myself inside of her until she screams. With her help, we get her underwear off. She reaches for my jaw, forcing me to kiss her. I pull back and nuzzle my head into her neck. I don’t kiss. Not on the mouth, at least. It leads to emotions that I don’t want or need from a girl. Would it feel nice?

Maybe. I don’t care. I haven’t kissed anyone since senior year, when I kissed all over her dainty body. Her soft, pink lips. Her eyes, nose, chin, stomach, anything she would let me. No—I won’t think about it. Not now. I position myself while I pull a condom from my back pocket. A few seconds later, I slide inside of her. She throws her head back, slamming it against the wooden bathroom door. “Fuck,” she yells. Gripping her waist, I slam into her again, not caring that she is being loud. Not caring that she is enjoying this way more than I am. I just need this release. Her martini breath is close and hot on my face. I can sense her wanting me to kiss her, but I bite her neck instead. “Ah,” she groans, pushing down on my dick. Grabbing her ass, I continue to pump inside of her, ignoring her unattractive moans in my ear. I’m never as happy as when I come. She is shaking around me, grabbing at my skin like she doesn’t want me to let go. “More,” she slurs. “Me want more.” Suddenly aggravated, I drop her until she is standing in front of me. Her face is flushed and her titties hang over her bra. “That was enough,” I snap. I know I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at myself. But this is the only way to get her to leave. She pouts, grabs her clothes, and walks out of the bathroom in her knickers. Standing in front of the sink, I lean over, splashing water in my face. Feeling like an ass has become who I am now. I can hardly find the guilt that I’ve

pushed so far into the back of my mind. I walk into the bar and find Lucas at the counter. He lifts an eyebrow. “Having fun, bro?” I shrug, slap a ten down, and gesture for the bartender to keep them coming. “I feel better.” Which we both know is a damned lie. I don’t feel better, I feel better for right now. Only because there is alcohol coursing through my body and I just busted a nut. “After this round we need to head to the apartment. We have a wedding rehearsal to go to Sunday. And we know it takes you damn near two days to recover from this.” I nod. I seriously need a fag. I would do anything to light up a cigarette and inhale. “Sure.” “Was she as good as she looked?” Damn, my mate knows me well. “I’ve had better.”

Chapter Four Laney “Flaws, we need them to be who we are” - Bastille “It worked.” I glance over my glasses. Bethany is staring past me, and I’m afraid to turn around and see what she is talking about. I’m pretty sure I know. The chair next to me scoots against the library floor and then squeaks underneath someone’s weight. Glancing to my side, I see Aiden staring at me. “Laney, right?” He is smiling, giving me his best I’m a good boy smirk. Yeah, like I’d fall for that. I almost laugh. I nod, continuing to stare at my book. Don’t make too much eye contact, it’ll be all over as soon as you look into those big brown eyes. “That’s me.” Aiden smirks, turning his chair toward me. His knees touch my thigh. “I met you last night at The Loft. You —you kind of ran off before I could get you your drink. What happened?” “Got busy. Had to leave. You know, some stuff came up. Sorry.” I grab my highlighter and start to highlight some of my history material. There is a long silence. Bethany is trying to act nonchalant but I can feel her eyes on us. “Okay—are you going to let me make it up to you?

We could go out.” I fake a yawn and scratch my neck. Playing it cool is starting to make him nervous. I swear I see him flinch. “Actually, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I have homework and work. I’m kind of booked. Thanks for asking though.” More silence. I mean the uncomfortable type. Looking up, I almost laugh. Aiden’s got a deer-in-theheadlight look on his face. He isn’t used to getting turned down, obviously. “Well, maybe tomorrow then? I have a rehearsal dinner for my cousin’s wedding. Want to be my date?” He tugs on his shirt collar before returning his hands to his lap “Umm…” I trail off, biting my lip. “I don’t know…” “One date,” he says. “Come out with me tomorrow and if I’m as awful as you’re making me feel right now, then I’ll leave you alone.”

Good, that’s how you make everyone else feel. Bethany kicks me under the table. I give her a warning glare. I know what I’m doing. “Okay, just this once.” Aiden’s eyes widen and he stands up. “You won’t regret this, Laney. I’ll come by your room at five tomorrow. Sound good?” “Room 406,” I say and then shoo him away with my hand. He frowns but glances over at Bethany. “Brittany, right?” Bethany’s eyes fall and she grits her teeth. If I had an egg, I could cook it on her forehead. “Yep, Brittany.” She

waits until he is out of sight before gaping at me. “What. An. Ass. But holy shit, did you see the way he was acting? Like a damn puppy dog. I think I’m definitely going to have to take your advice.” Rolling my eyes, I point toward my homework. “Okay, enough of Douchebag McGhee. Let’s get these history notes down.” *** After studying and helping out at the writing center, I go back to my dorm. Heather is out with Todd, so I have the room to myself. I turn the radio up and begin to pick out what to wear tomorrow. I don’t go to a lot of wedding rehearsals, and I didn’t even think you brought dates to them. But whatever. My closet shows exactly how much I go out, which is never. So I look in Heather’s. Even though I’m much shorter, I can wear her dresses because she wears them way too small. Taking my time, I try on different ones until I stop on a short black dress, low-cut in the front and tight against my butt. I’m twirling around when my heel snags on one of Heather’s shoes and I go sailing forward into the closet. “Fuck,” I shout, covering my head as boxes fall from the top. I wait a few seconds before I uncover my head. There are shoe boxes, backpacks, and miscellaneous things scattered around me. “Well, that’s just great.” Groaning, I stand up slowly until I’m leaning on the clothes rack for support.

I slip out of my shoes before I do any more falling, and bend down to clean up. I’m halfway finished when I see a box. The box. My body begins to shake thinking about him. Why is this box in here? It must have gotten shoved in with Heather’s things. No, no, no. I won’t cry. I won’t. Gathering my papers, I stop when my hand lands on a picture of us. Of him. Of us happy, together, smiling. Tears build in my eyes, and a hard lump forms in my throat. I slide my fingertip across the picture as a tear drops on his face. God, he was so beautiful. So perfect. So honest. So everything I wanted in a guy. Until I fucked it up. Until I left him begging me to stay. Until I threw away my entire life for a stupid, selfish reason. Anger rises within me; I stand, kick the box, and throw the picture into the back of the closet. Shutting the door, I let myself fall to the floor. Tears. Pain. Selfishness. All because of me. I cry for hours. Not sure how many exactly, but until my eyes refuse to produce any more tears. I crawl into bed and toss the covers over my head. I fall to sleep with tearsoaked cheeks. *** “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” I look down at the small black camera on the end of my necklace. You can’t even tell it isn’t a real pendant. Bethany straightens my necklace and laughs. “Sure it is. I got it from Nick, the tech guy in the University’s IT

department. He says it works one hundred percent. Now we can watch as Aiden’s life unravels in front of us.” She laughs a Plankton evil laugh. I snort and pull at my dress. “What if he finds it?”

Jeez, I didn’t realize we were going all Spy Kids on this. Heather laughs from her desk. “Yeah the fuck right. Do you think Aiden would be able to figure that out? I had him in Geology last year. He isn’t that bright.” Sliding into Heather’s heels, I snicker. “Okay, but if he does, I’m ratting both of you out.” “He won’t, so don’t worry about it. I can’t believe we’re doing this. What’s your plan? Anything we need to know? What if he tries to kiss you? Will you let him? Oh, God. What if he tries to rape you! We will never get there quick enough. I mean—” “Bethany,” I say, placing my hands on her shoulders. “Calm down. He won’t. There will be hundreds of people there. I wish I weren’t one of them. Damn, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Three loud knocks on the door make me jump. Bethany looks at me, eyes wide. She runs and dives underneath my bed. I’m not sure why. He doesn’t remember who she is anyway. Heather opens the door and gestures for Aiden to come in. He is wearing a tux, tightly fitted to his upper body. If I didn’t know how much of an ass he is, I would be impressed. The blond in his hair isn’t as bright with his hair brushed back, but it suits him. “You look—wow—great. Are you ready to go?” Aiden asks.

I try not to smile. I haven’t had anyone say I look that good since high school. I take Heather’s Coach wallet and walk into the hallway with him. I’m suddenly nervous, sweat building underneath my armpits. Aiden turns and offers me his elbow. Wow, so the ass does know manners. “Thank you for giving me a chance, Laney. You won’t regret it. Despite what you’ve heard, I do know how to treat a lady.” Then why the fuck don’t you? I smirk. “We’ll see,” I say, before following him down the stairs. He keeps a tight grip on my waist; I’m not sure if it’s out of niceness, or if he’s trying to feel my up. I watch as he leads me toward his BMW; of course he drives one. A nice-ass BMW, at that. He opens the door for me and I slide into the leather. It smells like Heaven. Aiden starts the car and backs out of the dorm parking lot. “So, what’s your major?”

Damn, and everything was going so well. Why did he have to open his mouth at all? I shrug. “Undecided.” Aiden relaxes a bit and turns down Central. “Oh. Well, I guess you still have time. I’m going into business. My dad owns a car dealership here and I’m going to take over once I graduate. I can’t wait. It was like I was meant to sell cars.” Sleazy. Check. Good-looking. Check. Rich. Check. Smooth-talker. Check. He is definitely meant to sell cars. “Sounds…fun.”

He nods, then sits up in his seat. “Here we are. You nervous? Don’t be. It’s just my cousin Savannah. She is marrying some guy I don’t know. Anyway, I’m one of the groomsmen. Let’s go. Hold on.” He parks, gets out, and opens the door for me. I figure that Aiden would be great as an escort. He has that charm about him and I’m sure giving his clients some penis would never be a problem. The church is a large Baptist church off of Central. There are many cars here. Tons. I am actually a little nervous. My hands are starting to sweat. Not because I’m on a date with Aiden, but because I’m out in public with Aiden. He isn’t someone I want to hang around. But, I figure if I’m going to teach him a big lesson it may be worth it. The wide double doors are open when we walk in. Flower vases sit on each end of the aisle. A man in a tux stands by the entrance. “You two here for the rehearsal? Everyone is in the community room. Right down the hall to the left.” Aiden nods and squeezes my arm. I’m almost thankful for him because I’m feeling a bit dizzy. I may have fallen over if he wasn’t holding on to me like a possession. The chatter is loud when we round the corner to the community room. Aiden helps me down the few stairs. At least fifty people are standing around, chatting, laughing, and eating. Aiden leans down and whispers into my ear, “We’re going to find my cousin. Do you want something to drink?” I shake my head quickly. I don’t want him to leave

me alone in a room full of people I don’t know. “No,” I say. He smiles and leads me toward a group of people against the far wall. Aiden taps on a short brunette’s shoulder. She turns and squeals. “Aiden, I’m so glad you’re here. I wasn’t sure if you’d be late. We all know you…Oh, who is this?” she asks, a smile riding her lips. Great. She seems normal; she must be wondering why I’m being fooled by Aiden. “This is Laney, my date. Laney, this is Savannah, my cousin. She is the one getting married.” “It’s nice to meet you, Laney. Thanks for coming.” She hugs me, and I relax. At least they seem down to earth. “You too. You look wonderful.” She grins and pokes Aiden in the ribs. “You didn’t tell me your date would be so pretty, Aiden.” Aiden glances down at me, his white smile almost flattering. “She sure is. So, where is this groom of yours? I’ve only met him once, a while ago.” “Oh,” Savannah says, pressing her fingernail to her lips. “There they are. Baby—over here!” She starts to jump up and down. Aiden presses his hand against my back and I turn to look at her groom. He isn’t what catches my eye. It’s the six foot two inch guy trailing behind him. His tux is fitted to his wide shoulders all the way down to his slender waist.

Lachlan. Oh, God. I always laughed at people when they said time slowed down when they saw someone. But now I’m

not laughing. Time has definitely slowed down. He runs his fingers through his short black hair. I take a large breath, wondering what in the fuck I’ve got myself into. He is here. In front of me. Walking toward me. His swagger is still flawless, his stride wide and determined. His green eyes are clear, radiating perfection. His jaw moves as he swallows, forcing me to look at his lips. Oh, fuck. His lips. Those lips. The only lips. They were all over me, all the time, kissing, soft against my skin. He smiles politely and glances my way. Realization passes over his face. His eyes widen. I feel sick. Vomit is rising in my throat. This. Can. Not. Be. Happening. Breathe,

Laney. Breathe. Just as Lachlan gets to us, I do what anyone would do. I turn and run toward the bathroom. My heart is hammering in my chest. I can’t do this. I have to go home. I make it to the bathroom, which unfortunately doesn’t lock. I start to pace, not sure what to do. I can’t walk out of here because everyone would see me. I frantically check the bathroom, there is only one small window. My phone rings just as I get to the window. “What are you doing?” Bethany yells. Shit, I forgot. The damn camera thingy. “Look—I can’t. I just need to come home now. I promise I’ll explain this to you then.” Bethany huffs. “You’re backing out on me, aren’t you?” “No,” I throw my hands in the air, “I’m not. Just—

please. I’ll be home in a bit.” I press the END button before she can protest. Glancing back at the door, I reach up and grab the windowsill, lifting myself up with a grunt. I wish I would have worked out with Heather, but who knew I would be climbing out of a church window. I slide onto the ledge and pull at the window until I feel the air from outside. It doesn’t open all of the way, but I have to try. Placing my hands underneath me, I push myself, only to stop abruptly. Oh, no. My dress, Heather’s dress, is snagged on the wood of the window. “No, no, no,” I say over and over again, like a prayer. But being stuck in the girls’ bathroom window is a situation that isn’t easily fixed. Not when your ex-boyfriend and your pretend boyfriend are both outside the door. I tug and tug until I’m completely exhausted. The bathroom door opens a few minutes later and I hear a loud gasp. Yeah, I know, my ass is showing in the church’s bathroom. We get it. “Laney,” Savannah says. “Are you okay—I mean, do you need some help?” I glance out at the squirrel running up a tree in front of me. I would do anything to be that squirrel. “Actually, yes, I’m a little stuck.” “Is she okay?” I hear, then the sound of footsteps echoing against the bathroom walls. No, everyone just get

the hell out! “Yes, I’m fine—” “Laney, what the hell?” Aiden yells. I feel his hands

wrap around my waist and he pulls. Wood digs into my stomach and I let out a murderous screech. “You’re bloody hurting her, stop it.” Goddamn it. My body freezes when I feel Aiden release me. Only to be touched with wider, stronger hands. “I’m going to help you down; let me know if I hurt you, luv.” Luv. I swear my insides just melted. I’m not ready for this, but it seems I have no other choice. I’m stuck in a bathroom window with my ass in my ex-boyfriend’s face. Lachlan grabs my hips, pushes me upwards, and unsnags my dress with no problem at all. His fingertips slide down my sides as he sets me on the floor. It’s like a fire is consuming me in every single crevice. I don’t look up, I can’t. “Are you alright?” I nod. I’m not sure what to say. What can I say? I left

you when we were seniors, and you’re the only one that knows the real reason. “God, Laney, are you okay?” Aiden says, bringing me back to the fucked-up reality. I glance up at him and nod. “Yeah, I think so.” “Well, can I ask what the hell you were doing? Why were you trying to get out of the window?” I didn’t think this through obviously. I have no idea what to say. So, I shrug. Savannah is staring at me like I’m an elf from Lord of The Rings. Aiden blows his blond hair from his eyes and offers Lachlan his hand. “Thanks a lot, buddy. She was really stuck in there, weren’t you?” His fingertip touches the bare

skin of my side where my dress in torn. I retract from his touch. “You’re bleeding,” Savannah says. “Let me go get the first-aid kit from the kitchen.” She disappears, her heels clacking against the tile. “Let’s get that dress off of you, so we can clean you up,” Aiden says. My eyes widen and I glance up, losing my composure seeing Lachlan so close to me. He is studying my face, my neck, my breasts, my thighs, every single inch of me. A fire lights in the middle of my stomach, traveling down between my legs. Jesus Christ, I don’t know what to do. “I don’t want to take my dress off,” I say. Aiden scoffs. “Laney. I promise I’m not going to molest you. We just need to get your cut looked at.” I bite my lip, hard. I’m not taking my clothes off in front of Aiden, or Lachlan, for that matter. “No.” Aiden growls underneath his breath. “Please, Laney. It could get infected.” “She said she doesn’t want to,” Lachlan says, his voice smooth and calm. How much I missed the sound of his voice. Aiden narrows his eyes. “How about I give you my shirt to wear. Will that help?” No, you dummy. Can’t you tell that Lachlan is standing here, watching me like he has laser vision? Savannah comes back in and motions me over to the sink. Shit, I grab my side as I take the last step. I’m bleeding pretty badly, and my side fucking hurts.

“Come on, take that dress off, missy. Aiden, give her your shirt.” Holy shit. This isn’t happening. Aiden gives me an I told you so look and starts to undress. I glance down at the floor. I don’t look back up until he shoves the shirt in front of me. “Wait,” Savannah says. “Lachlan can you give us some privacy? I mean—she’s trying to undress here.” I sigh. Thank you, baby Jesus. Unable to help it, I glance up at Lachlan. He doesn’t seem like he wants to leave as he stares directly at me, not hiding his aggravation. Aiden clears his throat and draws my attention back to him. He gives Lachlan a get the heck out look and raises an eyebrow at me. I snatch the shirt and limp over to a stall. I pull the dress over my head and toss it down hard. I slip Aiden’s crisp white button down over me. Being pretty short has its advantages, but since my legs are so long compared to my body, his shirt barely touches the middle of my thighs. “Come on out, Laney. We need to get you cleaned up.” Closing my eyes, I open the door and walk out. My eyes bug out when I see Lachlan is still in the room. Wasn’t he just asked to leave? The tension feels like weights pressing down on my chest. I can’t even glance at Aiden, my eyes haven’t left Lachlan. He is breathing harder now, a look I can’t pinpoint on his face. I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I pray no one can tell. “Lachlan!” Savannah says.

He clenches his jaw. “I’m fine. It’s not like I haven’t seen her naked—it’s not like she has something any other girl doesn’t have. And put more pressure on that wound, it will stop the bleeding, luv.” We stare at each other until Savannah scoffs and shrugs her shoulders. “Oh, Aiden. Your friend has the nicest legs. Can I have them?” Savannah asks, trying to lighten the mood. It’s not helping. Aiden grins like he’s proud of himself. “She sure does.” Am I standing in this room? “Can we get this over with? I want to go home.” I can feel Lachlan’s eyes on the side of my face but I don’t dare look his way. I don’t want him to know how much his presence is affecting me. Savannah frowns, but dips a cloth in some ointment. “Lift up your shirt. We’ll get it all cleaned up for you.” I want to turn around and demand both of them leave. But what

would that look like? Slowly, I pull up my shirt, revealing my underwear to Aiden. I hear an intake of breath but I’m not sure that was anyone other than myself. I thank Heather for making me wear these stupid lace panties. They are better than the granny panties I normally wear. “It’s not too deep, it should heal quickly,” Savannah says. My blood is boiling. I can’t wait to get this over with. Savannah looks up when someone walks through the door.

Lucas. Mother of God, who did I kill to be punished so badly? “Hey Savannah—Laney? Is that you?” “Hi, Lucas.” “I—” he scratches the back of his neck and looks at Lachlan over his shoulder. I look away. “Um, nice to see you, Laney. Ummm…are you here with Aiden?” I nod. Unfortunately. He stares blankly between all of us for a few moments. “Okay well, Savannah, we need you outside. The wedding planner wants to talk to you about the fish at the wedding.” “Damn it,” she says, tossing her cloth onto the counter. “I told her it’s supposed to be chicken. Aiden, can you take over? I need to figure this out.” Aiden all but jumps over to the counter. I look up at him, wishing I was anywhere else. Savannah and Lucas both leave at the same time but Lachlan is leaning against the back of the closed bathroom door. I can feel his eyes rolling over me. I blush harder, thinking about him wanting me. Would he? Would he still want me? I try to find my words to tell him to get the hell out but my mouth won’t open. I don’t want him knowing him seeing me is affecting me this much. “Okay, babe, hold onto my sides. This may sting.” I don’t reach for his sides, I can’t think about it. I don’t want to touch him. I want to leave. Now. He presses the cloth onto me and I moan. Unable to stop myself, I grab his sides and squeeze. “That’s right.

Squeeze. It’s okay.” An uncomfortable noise comes from behind me. I want to look but I don’t dare. I take my punishment like a man. A few minutes later, Aiden finishes. He presses his lips to the side of my cheek. “Feel better?” Shaking, I nod. “Now, let’s get my shirt off of you. Although, you look fantastic with it on.” He isn’t whispering anymore, and I burn hotter. If that’s even possible. “I—I can do it by myself.” I almost run into the stall and change as quickly as I can. When I get out, Aiden is the only one standing in the bathroom. “I want to go home. I’m hurting.” Aiden wipes the corner of his lip with his thumb. “Okay, I’ll run you home really quick. You sure you don’t want to hang around?” I shake my head. “Absolutely not.”

Chapter Five Lachlan “Look in my eyes, you’re killing me, Killing me All I wanted was you.” — 30 Seconds to Mars I cup my hands and bring a handful of water up to my face. I need to breathe, I need to relax. I can’t believe this happened like this. I thought I may see her, but not like this. Not with someone else. His hands…goddamn it, he was touching all over her. All over her panty-covered ass. Her barely there panties. Christ. What the fuck am I saying? She doesn’t belong to me anymore, not since senior year. Not since she tore my heart out and stomped on it. I gargle with the water and spit it back into the sink. I stand against the bathroom wall and close my eyes. I have got to get a hold of myself. But her skin had been so smooth, tight. Her ass…God, I wanted to rip the rest of her dress off and take her against the bathroom counter. “That rough, huh?” I don’t even have to open my eyes to know it’s Lucas. “I can’t believe she was here. Right in front of me. I —I wanted to kill that bloody twit with her.” Lucas pats my shoulder. “Let’s get this out of the way, then we can go home.”

I’ve never wanted anything more. *** The rehearsal lasts two hours too long. I tug my shirt off as soon as I reach Lucas’s apartment. My heart is still racing from seeing her. I wasn’t expecting it. She had looked so grown up…so sexy, so fucking beautiful. “Gah,” I groan, slipping out of my pants. She can’t be into that guy. He is a major douchebag. I thought I saw her snarl at him. But, why? Why would she even be out with

him? Sighing, I turn on the hot shower and slip inside. I lather up my hair until it hurts from the pressure of my fingers. I keep replaying the arsehole grabbing Laney’s waist and pulling. Her soft groan making me want to beat the bloody fuck out of him. Jesus, but her ass, in that dress. I could see the soft curve of her bum barely covered by her lacey knickers. “Fuck,” I groan. Screw it. I grab myself, moving my hand up and down my cock. It feels so good. I envision ripping Laney’s dress off her dainty body, and pressing her curves against me. Sliding into her soft wetness. I pump my hand harder, feeling the urge coming. A few minutes later, I come into the shower. All my want and need rushing down the drain. ***

Laney Just like I expected, Heather and Bethany are both sitting in my dorm room when I get home. Bethany jumps up and her hands land on her hips. “Jesus, what in the hell was that?” I frown. “It’s good to see you, too.” “Oh, no. I forgot you wore my dress today.” Heather jumps up and starts to examine the rip in her dress. “I’m sorry, I just—I had to get out of there. I couldn’t be there anymore.” “Why?” Bethany yells, twisting her strawberry blond hair out of her face. “Everything was going great. He was being a gentleman, which is something he never does for any other girl.” I debate telling them. It’s not like I’ll see Lachlan again. I don’t plan on attending this wedding. “The best man, I dated him in high school. I mean—he is the last guy I dated.” Heather stops her examination and gawks at me. “The sexy guy behind the groom? The one with the accent, that helped you out of the window? Holy shit, now I feel really bad for you.” “Tell me about it. I really just want to get out of this dress—I’m sorry about the dress by the way—and then go to bed. I feel like shit. We can plan our attack tomorrow, is that okay?” Bethany sighs, but says her goodbyes. I’m thrilled to

be away from her. Heather waits until the door clicks before she pushes me toward the bed. “What in the hell was that? I’ve never seen you act like…such a girl. You were stumbling over your words, nervous as hell. What the hell happened?” Tears sting my eyes and for once, I can’t keep them in. A sob breaks from my throat. Heather doesn’t say anything. She climbs into my bed and holds me until I fall into a deep, dark sleep.

Chapter Six Laney “I’m falling apart I’m barely breathing With a broken heart That’s still beating” — Lifehouse My eyes are still swollen the next morning. I blot make-up under them until I’m happy with the outcome. Heather has gone home for church today and I’m happy to be by myself. I never told Heather the truth. Not the real truth, at least. I’m not ready, not for the pitying glances. For the judgment. Slamming my mascara down onto the table, I answer my phone that keeps ringing. “Hello,” I snap. My side pulls as I twist in my seat. It’s still a little sore from yesterday’s incident. “Damn, girl. Remind me to always text you from now on,” Jacks says. “Sorry, I just had a really bad weekend. What’s up?” “Uh, the Cook Off, it’s today. Tell me you didn’t drink that much last night. Come on, you know, the extra credit for Dr. Phillips.” Shit. “Damn, I forgot. When is it?” “In thirty minutes. I’m coming over.” I hear the click of his phone and then some ruffling around next door. Jacks walks into my room, without knocking, two minutes later. He

jerks his head back. “What happened to you?” I want to throw something against the wall. I pull out some Advil and dry swallow two pills. “Is there any good news you can bring me today, Jacks?” Smiling, he leans against my make-up desk and ruffles my hair. “Come on, kid. Let’s get this over with, then I’ll take you out for some ice cream.” The YMCA is packed when we get there. A sea of people are cluttered inside the building’s community room. Jacks says all we have to do is look for Dr. Phillips and he’ll show us where to go. But, I’m not sure I want to go where he points. He is pissed off at us, so there’s no telling what he has in store. “I see his bald head,” Jacks points, “over there.” Dr. Phillips is hunched over a table, scribbling things down. He doesn’t look up once we get in front of him, so Jacks knocks his fingers against the table. He jumps, frowning when he sees us. I knew it. He gives us a small smirk, and pushes his glasses up his nose. “Great, how wonderful for you two to actually show up. I guess you do care about your grades.” Hilarious. Jacks laughs sarcastically, making it unreadable whether he is being a smartass or genuine. “That’s too funny, Dr. Phillips.” Grumbling under his breath, Dr. Phillips pulls out a clipboard. “You two need to go around to the tables and make sure all of the contestants are here. Can. You. Do. That?” What a douche. Jacks salutes him and takes the clipboard. “You

won’t have any problems out of us, sir.” He points for us to leave him alone. Gladly. Jacks pulls me to the side and glances at the clipboard. “Damn, there are like thirty people signed up. Who cooks nowadays?” I laugh. “I guess the people that are good at it. Because God knows I’m not.” “That’s the truth. I remember when you tried to make that cake in Home-Ec. Damn, that was pretty bad, all mushy in the middle—” “Okay,” I say, grabbing his elbow and squeezing, “no need to kick me while I’m down.” Jacks smiles, then focuses on the clipboard. “Okay, let’s get this done.” We go around the room, making sure every contestant has signed in. Heather texts me, asking what happened last night. I ignore it. I was not going there, not today. I’d tell her when she gets back. Then Aiden texts me. Three times. I was sure the window incident would run him off, but obviously not. Aiden: How are you? What are you doing? You looked so sexy in that dress last night. Want to get together later?

Barf. I send him a quick text telling him I’m doing some extra credit and that I’ll text him later. I’m not going to, it’s not part of the plan. Never text a guy first. Sounds bitchy, but guys always fall for the girls that act like they don’t give a damn. Well, he hit the motherlode, because I certainly don’t

give a damn. “Okay, I’ve got to take a piss, can you do the last three?” Jacks shoves the clipboard in my face. I guess it was a rhetorical question. Going to the next name, I scoot down the line. She isn’t standing behind her section, so I skip to the next name. “No,” I whisper, shaking my head. Lachlan Hems. I must have massacred a family in my past life. Biting my lip, I glance up over my glasses, searching for him. Maybe he didn’t show up. Maybe he decided it was lame. He did cook a lot when we were in high school. He was so good at it. The cupcakes he made for me after we found…no, don’t even think about it. Quietly, I place the clipboard on the table that is his. I sigh in relief to see he isn’t in sight. Maybe he will sign and turn it into Dr. Phillips. I’m almost in the clear when I feel eyes land on the side of my face. I don’t look, I turn and run toward the door. I wish I didn’t have to run. I wish I could turn around and plow into him. But, I don’t. I can’t. I run. Pushing through the crowded YMCA, I don’t stop until I’m in the alley next to the building. My legs are burning and my throat is on fire. How do track runners do it? I would be out in the first ten seconds. I’m half-limping and panting like a dog when I feel a rough, calloused hand wrap around my upper arm. I’m pushed against the alley wall in the next second. “Laney.” God, just hearing his voice makes me weak.

Breathing in and out a few times, I keep my glare down. He is close…a little too close. His chest is rising and falling quickly. It’s the first time since graduation that I’ve really seen him…been so close to him. I’ve dreamt about having him close to me again. Having his lips on me, having him lying over me, making me scream his name. His white T-shirt is snug, giving me a perfect picture of how hard and tight his chest is. He’s gotten bigger, his once bulky frame is massive, muscular, hard, and hot as hell. My mouth isn’t cooperating with my mind…it won’t open. “Laney, look at me, luv. Please.” Goddamn it. I want to touch him. I want to feel him. I let out a breathy sigh and look him in the eyes. The green is still as transparent as I remember, so beautiful. The worry line in the center of his brow straightens out. A small smirk rises from the corner of his full lips, rising up his chiseled jaw. “Why have you been running from me, Laney?” he asks, sliding his fingers against my jaw, slowly, leaving a burning trail of lust behind. Again my mouth won’t open. Instead, I shrug. Biting my lip, I look for a way out. There isn’t one. He has me pressed against the alley wall. “What happened to that yabber I’m used to? I know you have something to say, Laney. Say it.” His tone makes me mad. Raging, even. “Don’t tell me what to do…you, you Aussie.” Wow, that was a good

one, Laney. Lachlan leans toward me, hands on either side of my body, and laughs. It’s hard, rough, and makes my panties wet. “Luv, you haven’t changed a bit. How have you been?” Hiding my shiver, I narrow my eyes. Is he seriously so calm this close to me? I feel like I’m going to combust. His hands are so big. His forearms are rubbing against the sides of my arms. “It’s none of your business. What are you doing here, Lachlan?” Tilting his head, he scoots closer. “I’m in town for Lucas’s wedding. But, I’m pretty sure you knew that from last night.” Why bring it up! “Don’t even say anything. It was an accident.” “I never said it wasn’t, doll. I just thought you may have forgotten since you were too busy trying to escape. Then undressing for your little boyfriend in the bathroom.” Anger boils under my skin. How dare him! He doesn’t know anything about Aiden, obviously, because he would know that I would never truly date him. Conjuring up my fight, I push against his chest. He takes a few steps back but not enough for comfort. “He is not my boyfriend, you asshole.” “No? Maybe you should tell him that. He seemed to have his hands all over you yesterday.” His jaw is clenched shut. He is angry. Well, join the fucking club. I point my finger toward his face. “You have no right

to show up here and judge me. If I want to date the devil it would be none of your fucking business.” He laughs, loudly, running his fingers through his hair. The edge of his shirt rises, showing washboard abs and tanned skin. “Of course it’s not. You didn’t even give me a chance to make anything my business.” Throw up. I’m going to vomit. Grabbing my stomach, I screw my eyes shut. Do no talk about that. Do. Not. Do. It. “Shut up,” I scream. “Stop talking about it. Just. Stop.” “Laney.” Shit. I open my eyes and look to my left. Jacks is standing a few feet away from us, hands pushed down into his jeans pockets. “Oh,” Lachlan says, pointing toward Jacks. “Is this another one of your boyfriends? Does he get to help you make decisions?” “He isn’t my boyfriend! And he wouldn’t have to help make decisions if you kept your promise like a normal person!” Lachlan is livid. His breath is heavy, his fists clenched. He looks dangerously beautiful. “Do you want me to come back?” Jacks asks. “No,” I shake my head. “Let’s go. I can imagine myself anywhere else but here. Let’s just go.” I turn on my heel and march toward the car. I don’t turn around and look at Lachlan, because I may cry. I don’t need any tears, not in front of Jacks. Jacks unlocks the car for me and I scoot in, burying my face in my knees. I hear Jacks start the car and then we

pull out. “You want to talk about it?” he asks. “No.” Jacks sighs and runs his hand over my back. “Okay, well, let’s go get that ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. Always.” The ice cream parlor is close to empty. I can’t remember the last time I came out just to get ice cream. Whoever said ice cream makes it all better is full of shit. Sure, it tastes great but it only hides the pain for a few minutes. Jacks is almost done with his double scoop chocolate cone when he glances over at me. “You going to tell me who that guy was?” “Do I have to?” “If you want a ride home.” I narrow my eyes and flick a piece of cone at his face. “His name is Lachlan. I dated him for two years during high school.” Jacks waits for me to continue. “That’s it.” Jacks snorts. “Sure, that is so not it. The way he was looking at you, like he was taking off every single piece of clothing with his eyes. What else happened? He seemed pissed. To be honest, so do you. Was it a bad breakup?” I nod. “Something like that. We just…had some issues. Then he moved back to Australia before we made it better. But it wasn’t going to get better. Not then. Not now.”

“Weirder things have happened, kid. You going to eat all of that?” “Don’t buy a girl ice cream then take it away. That’s like taking candy from a baby. But, I promise it won’t be that easy.” Jacks laughs and raises his hands in surrender. “I’ll remember that. So we have to go back to the Cook Off Tuesday, you know that, right? Lachlan might be there. What are you going to do?” I hadn’t thought about it. I don’t want to think about it. Eating the last bite of my cone, I wipe my hands on my napkin. “Don’t know. Avoid him. Maybe we got it all out of our system today.” “Really? It didn’t look like you guys resolved anything but how much you have the hots for each other.” Throwing my napkin at his face, I shake my head. “Shows how much you know.” “Oh what the fuck ever, Laney—” Jacks trails off, causing me to glance up. “What are you looking at?” Jacks points behind me, a smile rising on his face. Turning around in my seat, I see Aiden marching toward our table. Oh, fuck. “He looks like a man on a mission. Does he cheat off of you in class or something?” “Wow, that makes me feel really pretty, Jacks,” I say, flipping him the bird. I wasn’t going to tell Jacks about my situation with Aiden. Because, being the voice of reason, he will definitely tell me to stop. It’s a bad idea. It is, but I’ve

already, somehow, got him hooked. “Babe,” Aiden says, stopping in front of our table. “What are you doing here…with him?” he sneers down at Jacks. Jacks is biting his lip, trying not to laugh, a chuckle stuck in his throat. “Nice to meet you, too, bro,” Jacks says. Aiden turns his body toward me. “Are you two on a date…or something? I thought…I mean, I thought we were going to go out.” Okay, time to bump up my game. “Aiden,” I say, slowly. “We went out once…that doesn’t make us exclusive.” I can feel Jacks’ gaze on the side of my face. Aiden frowns and rubs his neck. He is debating what to do. He puts girls in this position every day, now it’s his turn. “Um, okay. Well, I guess I’ll text you later, then. Are you going home after this?” I nod. “Bye.” His jaw is open—I mean drool-coming-down-fromthe-corner-of-his-mouth opened. I wait until he is back at his table with two other guys before I laugh. I turn around in my seat and look over at Jacks. “Please, tell me what perfume you’re wearing. Is there a male equivalent? You’ve got guys back to back. What in the hell was that all about? You went out with Aiden? What the hell has happened to you? Did you fall? Concussion? Lose a bet?” I slap a ten down on the table and stand up. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you on the way home.”

I was right. Jacks lectures me the entire way home. Of course, I knew this wasn’t a good idea, but a little alcohol and him making Bethany cry changed my mind. I finally escape Jacks’ criticism and get to my room. Bethany is waiting on my bed with a big bowl of popcorn and two drinks. “Hi, friend,” she says. I sigh. I had really wanted to just come home and go to sleep. I’ve had the worse day possible, well besides yesterday, and now I had to give Bethany a rundown. “Hey, Bethany. We working on Aiden sabotage today?” She shakes her head and pats the seat next to her on my bed. “Nope. We’re hanging out. Grab a bowl, we’re watching John Tucker Must Die.” A coincidence? I think not. I don’t ask why we’re watching this movie, because it’s pretty obvious she wants to get some tips. I snuggle under the covers and lay back on my pillow. Bethany points and laughs, then asks if we can do any of the things on the show. I shake my head. “Aiden isn’t an athlete, so I can’t spike his energy shake. And no, I won’t kiss you to see if I can kiss or not.” She snaps her fingers. “Darn. Because, I was really thinking about jumping your bones.” She rolls her eyes. “Have you heard from him today?” “Have I?” I blow my bangs up. “He texted me all day today, not to mention Jacks and I ran into him at the ice cream parlor.”

Bethany gasps, then turns toward me, and sits Indian style on my bed. “What? What happened? This is vital information, you can’t hold out on me.” “He was mad…asked me why I was out with another guy. I told him we weren’t exclusive. Then I got chewed out on the way home by Jacks. See, I’m not the only one who thinks this is a bad idea.” Bethany waves me off. “Whatever, Jacks doesn’t know what he is talking about. What’s our next move? Has he texted you since then?” Digging through my pocket, I pull out my cell. I have five new texts. Jeez. Two are from Heather saying she is on her way home and the other three are from Aiden. Aiden: Since I have competition, I guess I need to amp up my game. Want to be my date to the TKE party tomorrow night? Aiden: You there? Aiden: Please, I’ll make it worth your while.

Bethany gets up on the bed and starts jumping up and down. “Yes! He always gets some ass during TKE parties. I can’t wait for you to turn him down. Woo!” I roll my eyes. “He won’t try it just yet. He’ll wait a couple of weeks, unless he has a death wish.” “Well, what’s our plan? Are you going to kiss him?” Bethany asks, her voice suddenly low. I shrug. “I don’t plan on it, but we can’t keep him coming if I turn him down every time. I may give him a peck, then go throw up in the bushes afterwards.” Bethany sighs. “He is a really good kisser. Watch

out.” Doubtful. But, any kiss would probably feel like Heaven to me. I haven’t kissed anyone since…Lachlan. I haven’t wanted to. I can’t allow myself that pleasure. Especially not after what I did. “Well, I have some homework to do. I’ll come over before the party and help you get ready.” Bethany jumps up and heads toward the door. She turns once the door is partially opened. “Thank you for doing this for me. I appreciate it.” She smiles, then shuts the door behind her. Pressing my feet into the mattress, I grab my phone. I text Aiden quickly before I lose my nerve. Me: Can’t wait. Pick me up at nine.

I glance down at my phone and look at his text. Aiden: I’ll be there.

I scoff. “I just wish I wasn’t going to be there.”

Chapter Seven Lachlan “I never meant to start a war, I just wanted you to let me in” — Miley Cyrus I touched her again. God, it’d felt so good. I don’t know how I controlled myself. I wanted to pry her lips open with my fingers and force my tongue inside her mouth. Shit, I’ve got to stop thinking about it, my dick is getting hard. “Is this a Baked Alaska?” A balding guy with a clipboard and name tag that reads “Dr. Phillips” leans over my dish, tasting it. He seems to be concentrating, so I almost don’t answer him. “Yes, sir, it is.” He lifts an eyebrow and glances up at me. “This is extraordinary. Are you Australian?” I give him a clipped nod “Yes.” “Hmm,” he mumbles, taking another bite. He slips a blue ribbon onto my table and pushes his glasses up his nose. “I’ll see you Tuesday.” He glances at the clipboard. “Oh, you didn’t sign the sheet. Those damn kids, they were supposed to make sure everyone signs.” Pressing my lips together, I take the sheet and sign it. “Thank you, Dr. Phillips. I’ll see you Tuesday.” He walks off, mumbling underneath his breath. He has to be talking about Laney. Her and that guy

were making sure everyone signed the bloody sheet. Everyone but me, at least. She saw my name and took off. She ran, just like before. I knew I shouldn’t have gone after her, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to touch her, talk to her, be near her. She is just as beautiful as the first time I saw her in tenth grade. That ass…goddamn that ass. She was leaning over the career fair table, not paying me any attention. I’d asked her if she was aware her knickers were showing. She slugged me in the face. Yep, right in the face. I thought it would be funny. She didn’t get the joke. After slugging me, she got down on her knees and apologized thirty times. For someone so tiny, she packs a mean punch. It was all over from there. She accepted my apology and my invite to the movies that weekend. That was all it took. Pushing back my memories, I pack up my bag and head toward the door. *** Lucas and Savannah are both sitting on the couch when I get home. Both of their heads pop up and look at me. “So, did you make it? Are you going to the finals?” Savannah asks. I almost laugh. She seems so excited, considering she just met me. “Yeah, I made it.” “Damn, bro, I knew you could do it,” Lucas says, offering me a fist pump.

“I’ve got skills. I just finished my Baked Alaska and it was all over with.” Savannah claps her hands and stands up. “I’m going to get in the shower really quick. You guys should pick out a movie. I’ll be back in a bit.” She scurries off to the bathroom and Lucas automatically glances up at me. “You saw her.” It’s more of a statement than a question. Is it that bloody obvious? Jesus, I’m such a pussy. “Yes, she was there…with some guy.” Lucas shakes his head. “Ouch, bro. Are you okay? Did you talk to her?” Sitting down on the loveseat, I swipe my fingers through my hair. “Yes, after I caught her. She ran. Just like old times.” I scoff. “I caught her in the alley. She wouldn’t look at me…Jesus, she felt so good. I barely touched her and I wanted to rip her bloody clothes off.” “Why didn’t you? You’ve never had a problem with girls, Lachlan. Make her want you. Use your magical pantydropping accent. Make her give you another chance.” He grins, like he does when he gets a bullshit idea. “How about we crash a party tomorrow night. They’re having a fraternity party for the TKE’s at the school. Her date at the rehearsal dinner is part of the fraternity. She’ll definitely be there.” The thought of seeing her again gives me hope. “I don’t know—” “Come on. Win her back. Make her drop that asswipe Aiden.” “Isn’t he going to be family in a few days, Lucas?

Maybe you should keep it down before Savannah hears. I’m not trying to force her to be with me, I want her to want me.” Lucas stands and slaps my shoulder. “She will want you, I promise. Just go in there and be yourself; she’ll have her panties down to her ankles in two minutes.” One can only dream. ***

Laney “Just make sure you keep an eye on your drink. Do not take a drink from anyone. Do you hear me, Laney?” Pressing my fingers to my temple, I nod. “Yes, mother hen. I’ve got it. Do not drink anything anyone gives me, unless I see them pour it. I promise, I won’t.” Heather nods, reaching over and straightening my boobs in my dress. I’m wearing a Band-Aid dress, it’s obviously Heather’s. She finally decided she would let me wear it, if I promised no rips this time. The yellow makes my black hipster glasses pop, and these heels make my calves look amazing. “You look smoking, baby doll. I don’t think he’ll be able to keep his hands off of you.” I pull my hair to the side and lift an eyebrow. “You do know this is a pretend date, don’t you? I don’t want his hands on me.” Heather rolls her eyes. “It’s just an expression.”

I’m pretty sure it’s not, but I nod anyway. Bethany slings the door open a few minutes later. She is carrying a bunch of snacks and a small video camera. “How are we doing? You look hot, when will he be here?” “Five minutes,” I say. She nods, unloading her armful of candy onto Heather’s bed. I poke my lip out. “Why don’t I get any candy? I’m the one doing all of the work.” Bethany tosses me a Snickers and continues to get her gear set up. Heather pulls my hair to the side in a long ponytail. “Be sure to speak into your necklace, make sure it’s on at all times. We’re going to get this sucker.” “Should we be worried about her?” I whisper to Heather. She shakes her head. “Nah, she is just a woman scorned. You know what they say about that.”

Isn’t that the truth. Aiden is right on time. A few knuckle raps against the door tell me he is here. I open the door. Aiden is holding a bouquet of pink roses. He grins, gaze rolling from head to toe. “You look amazing. I guess I’ll be with the prettiest girl at the party tonight.” Lame, we all know that’s not true. I fake a smile. Heather reaches around and grabs the flowers. “I’ll take those, you two have a great night.” She shuts the door, leaving me alone in the hallway with him. “You ready?” “As I’ll ever be.” The party is loud. I can hear the music from three

blocks away. It’s only a short distance from our dorm room to the TKE fraternity house, so Aiden decides it would be nice to walk. I, on the other hand, wouldn’t have minded a ride in the BMW. These heels are killing my poor feet. “So, about the other night. I—I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about that guy and you. I’m sorry…it’s just…” he trails off, pulling at the neck of his shirt. “I was jealous.” I’m sure Bethany is having a heart attack right now. I clear my throat and push my hair behind my ear. “We’ve only been on one date, Aiden.” He nods, squeezing his arm around my waist. “I know that. I—I feel like a girl. I just don’t want anyone else to have you.” I fight the urge to roll my eyes, and give him a small smirk. “Well, let’s just see how tonight goes. No need to rush into anything.” Aiden nods, even though I swear I see him frown. *** I don’t know how many drinks have been thrown in my direction. Aiden doesn’t seem to notice that I’ve been dumping them into the plant standing right beside me. I am not about to become that girl. Aiden has claimed a small corner, close to the kitchen. Easy for him, since he’s been slipping away to bring more drinks back for me. He thinks I haven’t noticed but I know he has only had one drink. A couple of other guys stand around us.

I’m on my fourth pretend drink, when Aiden leans down to rest his lips just below my ear. It’s the first physical contact we’ve had. It startles me, causing me to dump my drink onto the floor, splattering all up my legs. “Shit,” I mumble. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You want me to go to the bathroom with you to get cleaned up?” Yeah, like that’s a good idea, I’ve seen How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. I press my hand to his chest. He misreads me and pulls me close to him, his lips a whisper away. I knew this would happen, I mean, I am bringing this upon myself. Think, Laney. Think. Instead of kissing Aiden, I wrap my hand around his neck and grab a hold of his hair. “Save my spot,” I whisper, before withdrawing and climbing the stairs. I see an excitement in Aiden’s eyes. He doesn’t even move. Maneuvering my way through the crowded staircase, I try to calm down. The beer is sliding down to my toes, and my heart is jackhammering in my chest from the physical contact. I haven’t had any in years. A few people are in line at the bathroom. After five minutes of waiting, I push the door open and lock it behind me. “Gross,” I pinch my nose and flush the toilet. Damn alcoholics. Stripping my shoes off, I grab a washcloth from underneath the sink and run it under the cold water. Sliding onto the sink, I start to wipe the beer from my skin. Chill bumps climb up my leg and I shiver. A small

knock on the door startles me, and I drop my washcloth. “Someone is in here,” I say. Three more knocks. Thud. Thud. Thud. “I said, someone is in here!” I yell, jumping down to find the cloth. I’m in the process of picking up the cloth when I hear the door click and it slides open. Jumping up, I press my hands against the back of the sink and stare at my intruder. I wish I hadn’t. Lachlan is standing in front of me, and dammit if his gaze hasn’t moved from the low drop in the front of my dress. I clear my throat and his eyes rise to mine, not one indication he is sorry for staring. Damn him and his lockpicking abilities. He used to pick every lock in the damned school so we could have a room to ourselves. We weren’t very academically motivated back then; our hormones ran everything. I’m so anxious and it is eating me alive. I have no idea why he is standing in front of me, breathing hard, eyes glued to me. Swallowing, he reaches over and locks the bathroom door. That anxious feeling just turned into torment. I won’t —no, I can’t. “What are you doing in here?” I finally choke out. He doesn’t answer at first, only gazes over me, head to toe. “I—I saw you come in here. I was following you.”

Following me? Why? Had he seen Aiden try to kiss me? Had he seen me dumping my drinks? “Why?” His powerful chest is rising and falling hard. The

fabric of his dark gray T-shirt is pressed as tightly as possible to his chest. Jesus. “I—” he steps closer, the woodsy smell of his soap nearly brings me to my knees, “— we need to talk, Lane. I—we haven’t talked since it happened. I want—I need you to talk to me, please.” “I can’t. Not here. Not now. I have—I have to get back out there.” I try to move past him but he doesn’t budge. “Move, Lachlan. Now.” He shakes his head slowly, not taking his eyes off of me. I feel dizzy, my senses not allowing me to think clearly. They’re focused on him…on Lachlan. I’m trembling from his closeness, yet I can’t make myself turn away. He had always been there for me. Through it all. I tore him into pieces and he is still standing in front of me…wanting to work it out…wanting to talk to me. Startling me, his arms come out, tangling rough fingers into my hair. He pulls, yanking my head back, to look up at him. The spot in-between my legs is burning for him. His touch…there is nothing like it. He knows exactly where to touch to drive me to my knees. Inhaling, he presses his mouth to my ear, a small growl erupting from his throat. A strong arm wraps around my waist, and his tongue slides out to kiss my neck. I moan, not able to control myself. “Luv, I can almost see your knickers in that dress.” God, if his accent didn’t light me on fire, his fingers brushing the edge of my dress does.

Arching my back, I press my chest against his, feeling how hard he is against my stomach. “Can I kiss you, luv? You know you want me to,” he whispers, touching his lips to my jaw. I don’t answer, just keep my head pressed against his chest. I don’t trust myself to look at him. I’m sure I’d be beneath him breathing hard in two point five seconds. A hungry groan leaves his throat, and he swings me around until my back presses against the bathroom wall. Grabbing my face with his hardened hands, he drags his tongue from my neck to the corner of my mouth. I ache. Everywhere. He dampens my lips before opening me with his tongue, grazing my bottom lip with his teeth. A helpless sigh escapes my lips, which causes him to crash his tongue into me. And I talk about Heather and Bethany and their lack of self-control. I can’t help but let myself go with him. After four years of being separated in torment, I feel him against me. It’s so perfectly wrong. I feel like I’m drowning in his warmth, in his want for me. It’s all happening again…that night. The day I did it. I broke his heart. I broke my own. Trying to pull my mouth away, Lachlan grips my hair tighter, keeping me in place so I can’t move. “Please, luv. Just a bit longer. I want to remember your taste. Let me taste you.” Frustration is building in my chest, I want him too badly to describe, but I know I can’t. I can’t do this to him. I can’t do this to me. I’m here with someone else, pretend or not. Pressing against his chest, he stops cold. No more.

He steps back away from me, eyes wide with hunger. “Lane, I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.” I shake my head, trying to calm myself down. My entire body is still flaming. “You can’t just come in here and kiss me, Lachlan. I’m here with someone else.” It feels foreign on my tongue. I hadn’t been with anyone else since him. It had always been him. Always. Anger runs over his face, and he clenches his fists tight at his sides. Part of his dark hair has fallen into his eye. “That fucking twit downstairs? You’re better than him, Laney. You fucking know it. He hasn’t stopped staring at your chest since you walked through the bloody door.” I scoff. “As opposed to you, who stares at it in the bathroom?” Lachlan growls, pushing his fingers through his hair. “You’re mine! I had you first. I deserve to have you now. You’re being ridiculous…” he walks toward me, glaring. “And you fucking liked it, luv.” Half of my body is cowering in a lustful fear, and the other half, the logical half, is mad as hell. “Get out of the way.” He sidesteps me and holds his hands up. “Gladly.” Slinging the door open, I slam into a few people scattered through the hallway. I’m raging and I can’t wait to get out of here. I make it to the bottom of the stairs and run right into Aiden. He grabs my shoulders and bends his knees to get a better look at me. “Wow, Laney. Are you okay? You’re pale…” He gazes over me and it makes me nervous. I hope

I don’t look as hot as I feel. “Yeah,” I scratch my forehead. “Actually, can we head out of here? I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach.” “Sure, let me get our coats.” Aiden doesn’t say much on the way home. He holds my hands between his, rubbing over my fingers lightly. The gesture surprises me but I don’t stop him. When we get to my dorm, he opens the double doors for me and walks me up the stairs. My hormones are just now calming down, and the thought of him kissing me goodnight is alive on my mind. I listen when we get to our door, just in case Heather and Bethany are listening on the other side. I’m sure they are. Aiden clears his throat and tugs on his sleeve. “I’m sorry you weren’t feeling too great. Are you feeling better?” he asks, pushing his blond hair from his eyes. I nod. “Yeah, I think the smoke and alcohol started to get to me.” Aiden licks his lips, eyes darting over my face. I haven’t given him any reason not to kiss me, so it shocks me when he asks. “Laney, I really like you. I don’t want to push you away, so I’m asking, can I kiss you goodnight?” I hear a loud gasp from the other side of the door. Aiden’s brows pull together and he jabs a thumb toward my room. Panicking, I grip his face between my hands, holding him an inch away until he is really nervous. Leaning forward, I press my lips to his. He takes a long breath in, then reaches for my waist and pulls me toward him. He is solid, his lips soft, and Bethany wasn’t lying. He is a pretty good

kisser. But, not Lachlan great. Pulling back, he groans and presses his forehead to mine. “God…I think that’s the best first kiss I’ve ever had.” Smiling, I reach for the door and slide it open. “See you later, Aiden.” He is smirking when I close the door. “Holy shit, Laney. Get your ass over here. Why aren’t you melted into a puddle right now?” Heather screeches. I lift an eyebrow, then it comes to me. They saw and heard everything in the bathroom too. Blood rushes to my cheeks, and I feel warm. Bethany is sitting on her shins, her hands pressed underneath her chin as if in prayer. “Who the hell is Lachlan? And you just had two totally hot guys kiss you. What is going on?” Bethany yells. Sighing, I slip out of my shoe and dress. “I told you both, Lachlan is an ex-boyfriend. He…kissed me in the bathroom. There. That’s it.” Heather laughs, bends over and really laughs. “Right, because that in the bathroom was just a kiss. He fucked your mouth, Laney. That was the hottest kiss ever.

‘Please, luv. Just a bit longer. I want to remember your taste. Let me taste you,’” she says in a fake Australian accent. I roll my eyes to keep from drawing attention to my blush. It was the best kiss ever, though. My panties are still soaked. Shrugging, I crawl into bed beside Bethany. “Jesus…it was so good.” Heather claps her hands together and jumps onto her bed. “Are you going to tell us what happened?”

I shake my head. “I’m tired. I just want to go to sleep. I mean—I just got tongue raped by two guys. Well, sort of.” Bethany smirks and plays with the end of her hair. “He…he just kissed you. He didn’t try and come inside or jump you.” Tears are building in her eyes. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her toward me. “You want to stop? I can easily break it off now.” “No!” she screeches. “No, Laney. This is what he deserves. He does this to every girl he comes in contact with. Now, he will see how it feels. Please, we have to keep going. Please.” Her last “please” is breathless. She wants this so bad. How can I say no? I’ve already agreed. Regardless that alcohol played a huge part of my poorly made decision. Damn it. Just when I thought I had an out. “Okay, we’ll do some sabotage tomorrow.”

Chapter Eight Lachlan “When you’re dreaming with a broken heart The waking up is the hardest part” — John Mayer I’m a bloody idiot. Of course she was here with someone else. I had seen him feeding her beer all night long like a damned whore. I’d also seen her pour it out into the plant behind her. Not to mention he totally misread her signs; she didn’t want to kiss him.

She didn’t, but why? It doesn’t make sense. She doesn’t really touch him, only goes along with him, teasing him almost. It frustrates the fucking hell out of me. She deserves so much more than him. Mumbling under my breath, I take the stairs two at a time. I’m sure she’s already left. Judging by the empty space in the corner, they’ve both left. Shoving my way through the crowd, I look for Lucas. He isn’t the tallest bastard, so I’m having trouble finding him. After ten minutes, I find him bent over a pool table in a back room. Fuck. Now, I’ll have to pry him away from his pool game. I push my way toward him, tapping him on the shoulder. “Oh, hey, man, where’ve you been?” He takes a long drag off his cigarette.

Christ, I need one, too. “I need to go.” Lucas glances up over his fag and lifts a brow. “What’s wrong? What happened?” I shrug and mess with my hair to avoid looking at him. “I’ll tell you later, mate, can we please just go? It’s getting late anyway, and I have the Cook Off tomorrow.” It wasn’t a stupid lie. I was worried about the Cook Off, but right now, it’s the furthest thing from my mind. All I can think about is pounding that twit’s face into oblivion. Lucas nods, takes a long drag, and puts his pool stick down. “Sorry, boys. I’ve got plans. Hit me up and we’ll play sometime next week.” They all mumble their goodbyes, while I’m on edge waiting to get the hell out of here. Lucas follows me out, drops his cigarette on the ground and stomps it out. “What is the rush? Did you see her?” I look over at him and stare. “I take it that’s a yes?” Shoving my hands into my pockets, which is something I should have done in the bathroom, I shrug. “Yeah, I definitely saw her. I basically shoved my tongue down her throat in the bathroom.” Lucas laughs loudly and unlocks his door. “So, what happened? I see you don’t have a black eye. That’s always a good start.” “No, she kissed me back for a bit, then went all nuts on me. She said she was here with someone else. Then she stormed out of the bathroom.”

Lucas sighs, then scratches the back of his neck. “Well, maybe a not-so aggressive approach would do?” “Are we talking about the same girl?” He smiles. “You’re definitely right. She’ll come around. We’ll make sure of it. Now, we need to get the hell home. I’m dying for a drink.” *** Savannah is sitting on the couch when we get home, a dark-haired girl beside her. She doesn’t look familiar, but I have only been here two days. Savannah jumps up when we walk in, a grin plastered to her face. She actually looks a little embarrassed. “Hi, guys.” She clears her throat. “This is Jamie, she is my friend from school. This is Lachlan and Lucas.” The girl stands and offers her hand to both of us. She looks nervous and keeps fiddling with her jeans, which are skin-tight to her ass. “We were just going to hang out tonight; we didn’t realize you guys were going to be home so early.” That’s a bloody lie. She had been texting Lucas the whole damn time. I narrow my eyes at Savannah, but she avoids it by offering Jamie something to drink. If this isn’t a setup I don’t know what the hell is. “Well,” I clear my throat, not in the mood for games, “I’m beat. I think I’m going to head to bed.” “No,” Savannah yells. “Why don’t you guys play a

game of dominoes with us? Please, one game?” Lucas jabs me in the side and gives me a be nice look. I’m not in the mood to be nice. I want to crawl into my bed and feel fucking sorry for myself. I groan. “Okay, one game. Then I’m off to bed. I have the finals tomorrow.” Savannah squeals and runs into the kitchen to grab some drinks. Lucas ushers me to their extra room that they use for entertainment. “Look, Lachlan. I know you’re trying to get her back. But,” he scratches his chin, “I was thinking about something. You can bag any girl you want.” I start to protest, but he holds up a finger and cuts me off. “Just listen, okay? What makes a woman angrier than anything?” Thinking, I shrug. “I don’t know. Cheating?” “Close,” Lucas says, placing his hands on the table in front of us. “Seeing you with another woman. All you would have to do is show up with someone else to the Cook Off and the wedding. Then Laney will be putty in your hands, bro.” “I don’t know,” I whisper. “It does suck pretty bad seeing her with another guy, but…” I trail off. I’ve never been conniving but making Laney talk to me seems like the only way to make this ache go away. “Don’t think about it too much. Just do it. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to, to get what you truly want.” Laughing, I reach and dump the dominoes onto their foldout table. “When did you become Dr. Phil?” Lucas sighs and shuffles the dominoes around. “I’ve

had to watch so much Dr. Phil, Rachel Ray, and Oprah over the last few years, that I could easily trick anyone into thinking I’m a therapist.” “But who am I going to get? I mean I know no one since I moved.” “You’re serious? You’ve got an amazing, hot girl sitting in the living room with Savannah now. Why do you think Savannah brought her over here? It wasn’t for her entertainment, I can tell you that. You ask her to go with you, and she’ll go.” “Time for drinks!” Savannah shouts, bringing me back to reality. After our shot glasses are filled to the top, we tap our glasses together and chug. I’ve already had a few drinks tonight, so this just adds to the fire. I don’t even know my score in this damned game. We’ve been chatting, drinking, and listening to music. It’s all been a big blur. The girl next to me is cute. Not my normal type, but when I’m single, “girl” is mostly my type. She is starting to get wasted, her speech is slurring, her eyes roaming over me, and she keeps tugging at her clothes, like she wants out of them. “Win! Success!” Savannah yells, standing up and slamming her open palms against Lucas’s. When she falls over into his lap, he rolls his eyes and helps her up. “Come on, baby. It’s time to get to bed. You’ve had way too much to drink.” She laughs, struggling to stand. “No way, I’m just getting started. Who wants to play some strip pool?”

Strip pool? I snort and shake my head. “I’m all good, luv. Maybe tomorrow night.” Savannah pokes her lip out and runs her hands over Lucas’s hair. “I guess we’ll have to find something else to do, huh, Lucas?” Way to be conspicuous. He tugs her up over his shoulder and shakes his head. “We’re heading to bed; obviously lightweight can’t take too much liquor. Remind me to never let her go drinking with friends. She’ll come home pregnant.” I wave them away and then realize Jamie and I are both sitting at the table. She is swaying back and forth, smiling at me. I raise an eyebrow, the alcohol starting to really pump through me. “So, luv, you planning on going home tonight?” Let’s just get to it. No beating around the bush, it’s not really my style. She picks up a piece of her hair and runs it across her full lips. She is really hot. Barely said two words tonight, but like I said, she is really hot. “Nope.” She pops her lips at the end, making my dick hard. “Well then, luv. Follow me.”

Chapter Nine Laney “Louder, louder the voices in my head Whispers taunting all the things you said” — Kelly Clarkson Work study is the last thing on my mind today. But, because I have to, I go over every student’s work that comes in. Most of the time they want me to do it for them. Well, I’m not. I mark all over this guy’s Emily Dickinson essay. It doesn’t make any sense. “Here.” I slide it to him. Chewing on his gum, he glances down at the essay. “What the fuck, girl? I thought you were supposed to help me with my paper. This is tutoring, isn’t it?” “Yes,” I say, slamming my novel closed. “Exactly, tutoring. I’m showing you your mistakes, now fix them.” He grunts, sliding the paper back to me. “Yes, fix it.” Ugh! Narrowing my eyes, I stand up and slide it back. “Do your own work. I’m not doing it, kid.” He tugs on his football jersey and stands up, hands on the table. I know it’s stereotypical, the football player always needs help. But, if the shoe fits… “You’re going to help me. I have to make an A on this paper. Now, help me.” I go through this at least once a day. Sighing, I walk

over to my desk and sit back down. I am not doing his work for him. “Look, girl. I’m not going to ask nicely again, help me with my essay.” “I said—” “Hey,” I hear, then a sharp intake of breath. I glance over my shoulder at Aiden. He is standing by my desk, flowers in one hand, and the other twisted into the football player’s shirt. “She said she isn’t doing it for you. Now, fucking beat it before I beat the fuck out of you.” The football player jerks away, flips us off, and scurries out the door. “Thank you,” I say, dodging the glances everyone in the room is giving me. “What’s up?” I ask. Because, I’m not really sure why he’s here. Aiden leans against my desk and hands me my flowers. His blond hair is brushed out of his face, showing his big, brown eyes. “These are for you. Sorry about the asshole. Do you have a lot of boys do that?” I take the flowers and press them to my nose. They smell great. I sit them aside and glance up at him. “Yes, almost every day. I’m not here to do their homework, only help. But…” I trail off. Aiden presses his lips together and plays with the stapler on my desk. “Well, let me know next time. I’ll beat some ass if I need to.” I almost laugh, but I keep my mouth closed instead. “I’ll be sure to let you know. Thanks for the flowers. I’m just getting ready to go to my next class. I guess I’ll see you

later.” “Wait,” Aiden says, brushing his fingers against my arm. “I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch a movie at my dorm tonight? My roommate is always at his girlfriend’s house. We’ll be alone.” I swear I hear an evil laugh in my head at alone. You know, the Plankton laugh. I almost wither into ash in front of him. “Um, actually Jacks and I have to go to the Cook Off at the YMCA for extra credit tonight. Maybe another night?” He frowns. “Well, why don’t I go with you tonight? Then we can watch a movie afterwards?” Damn. I have no good excuse to get out of this. “Um, sure. If you want—” “Oh, I want to. What time do you want me to pick you up?” “Six thirty,” I mumble. “I’ll see you then.” I’m out the door before he can answer. *** “Um, why are you carrying around those flowers?” Jacks asks. I slam my tray down. I’m so glad to be out of class. Some guy picked on me the entire time about having flowers. What grade are we in again? “Because I haven’t had a chance to go to my dorm room to drop them off,” I growl. Jacks presses his lips together in an attempt not to laugh. “I meant—why do you have the flowers, anyway?

Does this have to do with you pretending to be interested in Aiden? Or is it the Australian guy this time?” Tossing a fry at his face, I sling my backpack into the empty seat to my right. “It’s my pretend boyfriend. He brought them to me at work study.” Jacks snorts and then covers his forehead with his hand. “Oh, my. You’re just a regular dream come true. You seem so excited to talk about your boyfriend! I wish you were my girlfriend.” Smiling, I gesture toward his food. “Eat. Caveman.” Jacks is talking about some girl that had been, deliberately, giving his professor a crotch shot when I hear a cough behind me. Jacks is staring behind me, one eyebrow lifted and a smile crawling up his face. I turn. Aiden is staring down at me. His eyes keep shooting back and forth between me and my bag in the chair next to me. “Oh,” I say, grabbing the bag and letting him take a seat. Aiden plops down, shoving his bag beneath the table. He glances up and his hand shoots out. “I’m Aiden, Laney’s boyfriend.” Boyfriend? I almost yelp. I am not his girlfriend. But, for some reason, I don’t correct him. Oh, that’s right, I’m supposed to be happy about this. Jacks smiles. “I’m Jacks, Laney’s partner in crime. It’s nice to meet you, bro. Boyfriend, huh? Well, congratulations, Laney.”

Evil. Jacks equals evil. “Lucky me,” I say, before taking a sip of my Coke.

“So, Aiden. How did a guy like you end up with my friend here? She is kind of secretive about her love life. So, excuse my surprise.” Aiden scoffs under his breath. I guess not shouting it to the world hurts his feelings. “Well, I met her at a party last week. I was getting her a drink and she bailed on me.” “How charming,” Jacks says. Aiden opens his mouth but stops when someone taps his shoulder. A tall girl with humongous boobs is standing behind him. “Hey, Aiden,” she says slowly, her voice sounding like syrup. It even makes me shiver. “Hi, ummm…” he trails off. Obviously he doesn’t know her name. But she stands there anyway, looking back and forth between the three of us. “Danielle. My name is Danielle.” Aiden snaps his fingers and nods. “Oh, yeah. What’s going on? Do you need something?” I feel sorry for her. She keeps looking at me, wanting an answer to why I’m sitting by Aiden. He finally groans and gestures toward me. “Danielle, this is my girlfriend, Laney.” God, I wish he would stop calling me that. Her eyes widen at the word “girlfriend.” She doesn’t say another word before she turns and disappears into the craziness of the cafeteria. Yes, that wasn’t awkward. Aiden sighs, jabs his fingers over his shoulder, and shakes his head. Like that explains exactly why she was standing there. We all know the real reason. He screwed her.

“What time are we going to that Cook Off again?” Aiden asks, continuing to eat. Jacks drops his fork and glares at me. I give him a small shrug. “Six thirty,” I say. “You don’t have to pick me up. I normally ride with Jacks.” Jacks raises his hands in surrender. “Not a problem. I can just meet you guys there. You two can have some alone time.” I almost grab my fork and jab him in the eye. “You’re dead,” I mouth to him. Aiden reaches out and slaps Jacks’ hand. “Thanks, bro. We’ll see you tonight.” Jacks salutes us before he walks out of the cafeteria. A weight presses down on my shoulders as soon as he leaves. Sitting with Aiden alone is different from sitting with him with Jacks. I feel an arm wrap around my waist, and I tense. “This is great. We should definitely eat together more often. Your friend Jacks is nice. Is he gay?” I snort. “Because he is friends with a girl he has to be gay? No, Jacks isn’t gay.” Aiden bites his lower lip and gives me a quick nod. Obviously, he doesn’t like Jacks being around me if he isn’t gay. That’s all the more reason to do it. *** Bethany slams her hands down onto my bed. “What are you doing? I did some digging today and found out that you sat

with Aiden at lunch. Why didn’t you tell us? We could have been watching.” I close my econ book, because I’m obviously not getting any more homework done. “Calm down, Bethany. He just came up and sat with Jacks and me. What was I supposed to do, excuse myself to call you guys?” Bethany juts her chin out and waves her hand, like that was exactly what I was supposed to do. “Yes! What happened?” Scurrying toward my closet, I yell out, “Nothing. He got jealous when he found out Jacks isn’t gay. Then I said I had to go. Which I did, because I’m supposed to have this econ homework finished tomorrow.” Bethany sits on Heather’s bed and slips off her shoes. “So what? You have all night. You’re such a grandma, always doing her homework.” “I’m pretty sure grandparents don’t have homework, but I catch your drift. And I have to go to the Cook Off finals tonight.” “Oh,” Bethany says, wiggling her eyebrows. “Is your Australian lover going to be there?” “Hope not,” I say, pointing toward a deep red, lowcut shirt. “You think this is okay?” Bethany nods and picks at the end of her hair. “So, you’ve been on two dates with Aiden now? What if he tries to really kiss you? Are you going to let him?” Sighing, I slip into my shirt and the tightest pair of jeans I have. “We’re going to his room after the Cook Off. I’m sure he’ll try. It’s not too early to kiss, but I…” I almost

laugh, “I’m not too thrilled about making out with him. I mean —ugh, sure he is okay at kissing from the small peck I got. But, you’ve got to know when to stop. Pull away, not go too far.” “How?” Bethany sits on her shins. “How do you stop yourself? I mean…he is so sexy.” “You have to make yourself stop. Just…stop. Just think the desire you have now will be shattered if you give it all away. He will be finished. That’s his goal. To get laid by as many girls as he can.” She nods. “How do you know he isn’t going to try that with you?” “Because,” I point toward my jeans, “he isn’t getting any. If he tries, I’ll give him a few right hooks, then scram before he can catch me.” Bethany laughs. “So, what would you say is the key? You ignore him most of the time and don’t show him much attention. That seems to be working so far. Is that it?” I press my finger to my temple. “Yes and no. You want to make him work for it. It will make him chase you, every single time. But, once he has you, you stay distant, but not too distant. He has to think you’re within fingertip distance at all time. He’ll keep working for it, and that gives him enough time to fall hard for you.” Bethany is staring up at me with wide eyes. “Good. Now, let’s break us a heart.”

Chapter Ten Lachlan “I keep dreaming you’ll be with me. And you’ll never let go.” - Nickleback My palms are sweaty. The YMCA is packed and there are only seven finalists here. I have to beat three other people. Probably people that have been doing this way longer than me. Pressing my palm against the counter to steady myself, I glance over to Jamie. She is talking with another cook’s wife and laughing. She wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t want to go home last night. She stayed all fucking day today, too. I wanted to fucking kill the bloody girl. She gives me a finger wave and winks. I turn my head. I don’t need to distract myself. Not that she is worth distracting myself over. This was Lucas’s dumbass idea anyway. I shouldn’t try and make Laney jealous, it isn’t right. I feel like I’m back in secondary school again. I’m watching the door, not sure exactly what I’m looking for, when Laney walks in. She is wearing a fitted red shirt that makes my blood pump. Not just that her tits are hanging out, but that the twit has his arm wrapped around her waist. I don’t notice I’m gripping the counter until I feel a tap on my side. I almost growl but bite my tongue. Jamie smiles up at me. “The Cook Off is starting in five minutes. You

ready?” she asks, pushing her tits against my side. I wish she would stop talking to me; I can’t concentrate. “Um, yeah. I’m ready.” She smiles and tucks her arm around mine. I don’t push her off, because I’m not that big of an arsehole. Jamie is talking about something, but I’m searching the room for her. Then I find her. She is sitting in the twit’s lap, eyes focused on Jamie’s arm. Jealousy wraps around me and decides it wants to choke me. My fingers are latched onto the counter as I watch her. Her green eyes flicker up to mine and red flushes across her cheeks. She turns and whispers something in Aiden’s ear. He lets out a laugh and taps her thighs. As if it couldn’t get any worse, the guy from the first Cook Off walks up and starts chatting with them. Rolling my neck, I place my arms around Jamie’s shoulder. She feels utterly wrong, but I keep my arm there anyway. She is yabbing about something, and I pretend to listen. A few minutes pass and I place my meal on the counter in front of me. It’s a Palova, which is an Australian dish. Carefully, I spread the whipped cream onto the cake and then place a kiwi on top. I wipe my hands on my apron. Dr. Phillips blows a whistle and the entire room grows quiet. “Hello, fellow chefs. It’s great to be here at the finals. We’re about ready to begin. We’re missing one judge, so I’m going to volunteer one of my students to help.”

My eyes dart toward Laney. Her face is pale as a bloody ghost. She grabs the guy standing next to her and tries to push him forward. He shakes his head and pushes her off Aiden’s lap. She staggers to a standstill when Dr. Phillips turns around and lifts his glasses. “This is a surprise. Come on, Laney. Get over here and we’ll begin.” Laney curses under her breath and stalks off to the group of other judges. I feel a small pinch in my chest, and I realize I’m fucking nervous. I haven’t been this nervous in years. To distract myself, I start cleaning up my dishes and placing them in the sink. When the judges reach the station next to me, I take a deep breath and stand completely straight. Laney is mumbling the entire time, glancing at my opponent’s meal. She gives it a thumbs up, and Dr. Phillips rolls his eyes. Dr. Phillips stops in front of my table and glances down. “This is?” Clearing my throat, I pull out the plates and sit them in front of me. “It’s called Palova it’s an Australian dish. A dessert.” One of the judges, a girl in her late twenties, looks down at it and smiles. “You’re Australian?” I fight the urge to roll my eyes, but I give her a sweet smile and nod. “Sure am, luv. Want to try a piece?” She flutters her eyes and leans in close over the counter. “Sure.” While they all take a piece, Laney doesn’t move. Her arms are over her chest, making her tits look bigger. I’m staring down her shirt in front of the entire YMCA. She clears her throat, dragging my eyes back to

hers. They’re narrowed, her lips pressed into a tight line. I want to reach over and unfold that wrinkle in her forehead. “Would you like some, luv? You look like you might like it.” Red rises to Laney’s cheeks. Reaching, she tries to grab the last piece but I slide it toward myself. A confused look crosses her face. I’m shaking with anticipation, but I dig my fork into the dessert and offer it up to her lips. She doesn’t take her eyes off of it. The red is spreading over her face, and I’m loving every single minute of it. She shakes her head. “No.” Lifting an eyebrow, I shrug. “You’re the judge, just thought you would have to take a bite.” Dr. Phillips nudges Laney. “Eat the dessert, it’s very good.” She shakes her head again. “Eat the cake, Laney.” They exchange looks before she tears her eyes back toward me. A desperate sound leaves her throat, and she takes the fork into her mouth. Her soft lips wrap around the food, then a moan leaves her mouth. My dick strains against the tight fabric of my jeans. “Good, huh, luv?” As if she snapped out of it, she nods and turns her attention to the other judges. Smiling, I place my fork back down and stand back to wait. I’d say I’m horny but that’s the understatement of the damn century. Every ounce of blood in me seems to have rushed to my cock. I’m glad I have this stupid apron on. I adjust myself, hoping no one has noticed.

I’m gloating in my ability to make Laney nervous when I feel an arm snake around my waist. “I think they liked it.” Jamie, I forgot. “You think so? I’m hoping they did.” Jamie leans up and whispers in my ear. Her voice is soft, angelic. “Why don’t we go to the bathroom while we’re waiting?” Jesus. Grabbing her hands, I push them down by my side. “This is important. Maybe later.” She doesn’t argue, but I can tell it hurt her ego. She’ll get over it. The spectators walk around after the judges and glance at everyone’s dish. A small smile is plastered onto Laney’s friend’s face. I don’t know his name, but he is blond and doesn’t seem interested in Laney that way. Which I’m not fucking complaining about. He knows. Not everything, probably. But he knows. I see it when his grin widens. Aiden doesn’t even look my way. Oblivious to everything going on around him. All he can focus on is Laney’s ass. I grip the counter tightly, and let out a growl. I.

Can’t. Fucking. Stand. Him. “I feel the same way, too,” Jamie whispers into my ear. Her fingernails glide against my arm, up and down. No,

you don’t know how I feel. Pressing pinched fingers to the bridge of my nose, I take a large breath. Around ten minutes later, the judges all march back into the center of the room. My heart is pounding. I hadn’t realized I was this nervous until they’re standing in front of me. “We all know

the prize is a spot to cook in the new Italian restaurant they’re building down on Central Avenue. Unfortunately, we have a tie.”

A motherfucking tie. The crowd grumbles, but Dr. Phillips waves them down with his hand. “Since we have two first place winners, we’ll have a second contest Thursday morning at twelve.” He fumbles with his papers, finally bringing his glasses down to read. “Jessica Frost and Lachlan Hems are the finalist. We’ll see you both Thursday morning. Come by the information desk and pick up your pamphlets. We look forward to seeing you both.” “Fuck,” I whisper, running my fingers along my face. At least I made it to the final round. “Congrats,” Jamie squeals, jumping up and down. “You made it.” I mumble under my breath, gathering my things. “Are you ready to go?” she asks. Grabbing my plates, I catch a glimpse of Laney pressed against Aiden. He is running his finger over her cheek and whispering something in her ear. I see red. I could beat the dirty bastard to death. Laney smiles politely and points toward the bathroom. Here is my chance. To do what? I have no fucking clue. “Actually,” I dig the keys from my jeans pocket, “take these. I have to clean up and head to the loo. I’ll be out in a bit.” Jamie nods and disappears into the sea of people.

I’m desperate. This is the second time I’ve cornered Laney in the bathroom. I’m not sure what I’ll say, or do, but if it’s anything like last time I’m sure as hell going to do it again. Pushing past the crowd, I ease into the girls’ bathroom. The third stall is being used, and I notice the sandal shoes are Laney’s. Running my fingers through my hair, I lean against the wall and wait. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never really spied on a girl in the bathroom before. Not as an adult, anyway. The toilet flushes and Laney emerges. Her mouth pops opened. “What in the hell are you doing in here?” I’m not surprised. This is the reaction I was looking for. Aggravation. “You don’t look happy to see me, luv.” She tosses her hands out and shrugs. “Wow, you catch on quick. That’s because I’m not happy to see you. First the stuff with the food and now you’re pulling a creeper on me and stalking me in the bathroom. While I pee.” She huffs and reaches over to wash her hands. I can’t help but smile and tilt my head to get a better look at her. Goddamn her ass in those jeans. “So, are you going to force your tongue down my throat again? Or are you going to let me out easily?” Pushing from the wall, I walk closer. Her eyes widen and she backs away from me until she is pinned between the wall and me. “What would you really prefer, Laney? I’m not stupid. You kissed me back in that bathroom. You wanted it…you fucking wanted me. Why are you playing this game with

me? Why did you run away from me? I was here…you made a mistake and I forgave you. Only to be left alone… crying like a bloody woman. I wanted you then just as bad as I want you now. Let’s start over. Be with me. Leave the fucking arsehole. Come with me.” Damn. I have no idea where that came from. It spilled out like vomit. A sob escapes Laney’s lips and she buries her head in her hands. “I can’t. Please, don’t do this to me. I’ve just now accepted myself again, and now you’re back, throwing it all in my face. I hate you!” she screams. Tears, more tears. She pushes against my chest, but I grip her wrists and slam them down to her side. “Stop, luv. Don’t cry. It doesn’t have to be this hard. I want you. We can start over.” She shakes her head, mumbling incoherently. “No, just, no—” She pushes past me and I let her go. This is going to be harder than I thought. It cut her deeper than I imagined. Well, I guess I’m going to have to put the pieces back together.

Chapter Eleven Laney “When we were one I was complete Now I’m only half the woman that I used to be” — Brooke White Breathless. I feel breathless. The burning hurt in my lungs is back. The thoughts, the memories, flood my mind. Always lurking, ready to eat at me. Now Lachlan is back, bringing those memories into full focus. Because Lachlan, he makes me burn in ways I’ve never experienced. A burn that makes my knees weak and panties soak. “Are you okay? You seem a little distracted, babe.” Jesus, as if I don’t have enough to worry about. I nod, then pull at my shirt. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just ready to relax.” Aiden flashes his perfectly white chompers and opens his dorm room door. Saying he has money is an understatement. First off, his room is way bigger than mine. Not to mention, it’s filled with enough electronics to open a Radio Shack. A nice sixty-two inch hangs above his desk. The nicest laptop I’ve ever seen sits underneath it. “This is home,” he says, tossing his keys onto the desk. His bed is made, a huge hotel-like comforter on top. I almost want to dive into it. “It’s not much, but it’s mine.” Sliding out of my shoes, I knock my fingers against

my necklace. I hope it blares into their eardrums. “Where did you get that necklace?” Aiden asks, picking it up to examine it. My blood runs cold. Finally, he meets my gaze. I shrug. “Gift from a friend.” Aiden nods, then gestures for me to sit. “Take a seat. What movie would you like to watch? I have tons.” He isn’t lying. I can see the three, tall movies stands holding hundreds of Blu-Rays. “Pick one out, and it better be good,” I say, lying back on his bed. God, it is soft. Aiden chuckles, pulls out a movie, and pops it into the Blu-Ray player. “Want something to drink?” “Yeah, as long as it’s not alcohol.” “You scared you’ll do things you’ll regret, Laney?” No, I’m scared you’ll molest me. I give a fake laugh and scoot onto his pillow. “Nope. I have wonderful selfcontrol, you should try it.” I still have my eyes closed when I feel the bed squeak. Aiden is staring down at me, a smile on his lips. “You’re sure a big talker. I don’t think you have as much self-control as you say you do.” Don’t I? My long-lost boyfriend has been playing grab hands in the bathroom with me, and I kept my clothes on. I would say that is definitely self-control. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I say, pressing back into his pillow. His gaze slides over me, and I can’t take my eyes off of him. Only because I’m scared he’ll pounce if I do. Faintly, I hear the sound of Titanic playing in the background. I want

to laugh, but I don’t move. A finger slides against my thigh, traveling up to my neck. “You’re so beautiful, Laney. What is it about you?” I’m not giving it up. That’s what it is about me. “I think it’s my charm,” I lie. Aiden nods. “It’s definitely that, but it’s something else.” He tucks his arm behind my back and pulls me into the crease of his arm. “I’m going to find out what it is, because I don’t want to ever lose it.” Titanic is three hours. Aiden knows this and so do I. I’m not staying three hours; I refuse to sit here that long. Instead of just saying I’m leaving, I start to yawn. Aiden notices and offers me something to drink. Since his drinks are all alcoholic, I pass. We’re to the part where Leo is getting it on in the car when Aiden’s fingers start to wander on my waist. Nerves are jumping out at me, ramming against my chest. A tightness builds, making it hard to breathe. A warmth spreads around my waist when his flat palm engulfs my right hip. He is sitting to my left, leaned over me, eyes wandering over my face. I pray he can’t see the fear deep down in my eyes, because that’s what guys like Aiden want. They want the doubt girls carry, the fear of giving in. Once they see it, they take it and run. Well, not this time. I have to stay in control. His eyes are still on mine, and it’s clear he isn’t going to look way. Biting my lip, I glance down at his mouth. It’s ready, his tongue darts out over the bottom lip and swipes the

length of it. “You want to kiss me, Aiden,” I whisper lightly. The grumble in his chest lets me know he really wants to kiss me. He nods, squeezing my waist. “More than anything you can imagine.” Smiling, I lift myself up on my elbow and barely place my lips on his. I know this is wrong. Aiden is super sexy, don’t get me wrong, but he isn’t what I’m looking for. His finger slides beneath the edge of my shirt, touching my bare skin. “Then do it.” Aiden sucks in a breath, and I can bet money that Bethany and Heather are doing the same. He smashes his lips into mine. His lips are soft, but his movements hard. The hand on my waist pulls up to cup my ribs, moving me closer. A loud grumble bursts through his chest, and he presses me flat against the bed. He is grinding against my leg, grabbing my hair with his other hand. Just as his fingers get close to my breast, I sling my leg over him and straddle him. He looks like a hungry animal. His shirt rides up, exposing washboard abs. No wonder all the girls want him. Taking my fingers, I gently press them against his neck, touching my lips to his. It’s soft, careful, and deliberate. Pulling back, I look down at him. His pupils are dilated, his teeth tearing into his bottom lip. “Damn,” he whispers, grabbing my waist. I can feel exactly how excited

he is, so I scoot off of him, lying back against his pillow. “Can I keep you?” he asks before wrapping an arm around me.

God, I hope not. The walk back to my dorm room is quiet. Aiden holds my hand and hums a small tune under his breath. A few thumps come from inside my dorm room, so I kick the door, as nonchalantly as you can, when we get to it. “I’m sorry to say goodnight, but we do have class tomorrow.” He presses his finger to my lips, then lets his hands drop. “I had a lot of fun today. Thank you.” Then he hugs me, tightly, pressing his face into my shoulder. It surprises me. He tugs at my hair, then gives me a quick, soft kiss. “I’ll text you later and see you tomorrow.” I wave, like an idiot, and take a step back. His eyes…they had seemed so kind. Jacks’ words replay in my mind. This really isn’t a good idea. The door swings open and Bethany and Heather are both standing there with open mouths. “Please, can I have your life? For one freaking day!” Heather squeals, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the room. She is bouncing up and down in her pajama shorts and tank top. “If you don’t want the Australian I will certainly take him.” Bethany pushes Heather’s arm and widens her eyes. “Just show me how he kisses, I swear I won’t tell anyone!” “Sorry, Beth. I don’t want to throw up in your mouth. That plan isn’t until later.”

“Really? You’ll throw up in Aiden’s mouth?” I slap my forehead. “Hell, no. It’s a joke, which is what I hope you two are doing. Fucking weirdoes.” Heather drags me to the bed, looking down on me when I lay back. “Aiden is starting to get a little touchy…not to mention dreamy. He doesn’t seem too bad to me.” Bethany scoffs, sitting down on the other side of me. “He doesn’t normally act like this. He really likes you.” Slipping out of my shoes, I tug on my pajama shorts. “About that…I was thinking maybe we should pull out before it gets too serious. I mean—I’m hurting him way more than he hurts those girls. They don’t really care about him…they think they do. They’re attracted to his looks, not his heart.” Bethany jumps up from her seat and tosses her hands in the air. “We can’t pull out now. Us girls gave him something special. We slept with him.” “Is it that special if you sleep with him after one night? I mean, it can’t be that special, can it?” Bethany is livid. She is tapping her foot and has her hands on her hips. “Regardless, if you pull out now I’m going to tell Aiden the truth.” I look down to see if there is blood on my shirt, because it feels like a knife has been stabbed into my chest. “Are you serious?” I glance at Heather, but she just looks down at her toes. “I’m helping you out. I don’t want to date Aiden. I have enough bullshit going on in my life right now.” Bethany’s cheeks are red, like a ripe tomato. “We can’t stop now! We’ve already started. Laney—please

listen—you promised. You have to do this for me. He is starting to fall for you, I can see it. Because it was the look I always wished Aiden had when he looked at me.” I give her a blank look. She grinds her teeth together. “If you don’t keep going with the plan I’m going to tell Todd that you coached Heather on how to get him.” What? My heart stops in my chest. Todd is not the kind of guy that would understand this. He would accuse Heather of lying to him and blame me for being conniving. Which isn’t too far from the truth, actually. Heather gasps. “Bitch.” Oh, no. Damn it. I bite my lip and give Heather a sideways glance. Her lips are pressed into a hard line but I can see the worry in her eyes. I can’t let that happen to her. I’m no Bethany. I can’t ruin her relationship for my own selfish reasons. Closing my eyes, I rub my forehead, hard. “Bethany —damn you—I’ll do this but you’ve got to promise to never tell Aiden or Todd. It’s one thing to break someone’s heart but another to deliberately do it.” Bethany smiles and opens her arms wide. “I promise. Come on, give me a hug.” I hug her back, even though I feel like yanking her hair from her head. “Well, I’m heading to bed. I’ve got a test tomorrow. I’ll stop by in the p.m. for more strategy building. What do you have in mind?” “Well, now that we have him semi-hooked, we bump up the game a little bit. What’s the most frightening thing to

a man?” “No sex,” Bethany says. I frown. “Yes, but no. He isn’t getting that from me anyway. For Aiden, it’s being undesirable. He is always wanted, he’ll never have a problem getting a woman. So,” I pick up a brush off of Heather’s bed, “we make him undesirable.” Bethany points toward the brush and laughs. “We shave his head!” “No, but we give him a small haircut.” Heather scoffs. “What? It’ll grow back.” I shrug. Bethany is laughing hysterically when she reaches the door. “I’m outie guys, you two are too much. I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll get this shit straightened out. Thank you.” I glance at Heather once Bethany has left. She shrugs. “That backstabbing bitch. I can’t believe I talked you into helping her. Now, she’s going to blackmail us.” Changing out of my shirt, I slide onto my bed. “What a friend. I swear I know why I had no girlfriends during high school. You guys are the best actresses in the damn world.” Heather sighs and opens her laptop. “You aren’t going to do it with him, are you?” “Gag. No.” Heather types away on her keys for a bit. “Have you ever done it?” Sitting up, I glance over at her. She is looking at me under long lashes, a bit of a smile on her face. “Does it look like I’m a virgin?” She nods. “Sorry, but you’ve got that look. The

nerdy, beautiful girl. You know, like in She’s All That? Hey!” She starts laughing. “Her name is Laney, too!” I can’t help but laugh. “Well, no, I’m not. In high school I—I did it.” More clacking against the keys. “With Lachlan, huh?” Damn tears. I turn onto my side, pressing my face into the pillow. The smell of my fabric softener is heavy in my nose. It was him. Only him. My body had craved him like a drug. He was the only guy I had ever let touch me. There, at least. He was so soft, gentle, willing to go slow. ***

“Come with me,” he had said. His voice like warm honey running over my chilly skin. I was standing in my nightgown. It barely hit mid-thigh. I blew a gasp of air through the open window, and it sent a blurry of fog in front of me. Lachlan’s large hands wrapped around the window frame, his face peering up at me from under long lashes, the green in his eyes bright from the moonbeams. “It’s cold. Why don’t you come inside?” A grin spread up his face and he reached inside, sliding his fingers against the outside of my arm. “I have a surprise. Don’t worry, luv. I’ll keep you warm.” Chills ran through me, all the way down my spine. “Okay, let me put on some pants.” I ran toward my dresser,

pulling out a pair of yoga pants. My heart was thumping hard, causing me to drop things and stumble over my shoes. Lachlan had his brow lifted and an amused grin on his face. We both knew what was going to happen. We had been talking about it for two months. Scared, as always, I had backed out a few times. Lachlan finally said it would happen when it did. Now, I felt ready. A surge in my body was rocking against my insides, making my nervous. I grabbed my phone and slid into a pair of TOMS. “Ready?” Lachlan asked. I nodded and swung one of my legs out of the window. It wasn’t a huge drop to the ground, but Lachlan wrapped his arms around my waist and helped me. Breathless from sneaking out, I glanced up at Lachlan and he pressed his lips to mine swiftly. His fingers lingering on my bottom lip before he pulled away. “Let’s go. I took my dad’s old pick-up truck.” Lachlan began to push me toward the truck. It was sitting in the distance under one of the large oaks in my family’s backyard. We lived out in the middle of nowhere, down a road where there isn’t anything but woods and fields. The wind was whipping at my hair as we picked up speed. Excitement and nervousness swarmed me, making me smile. “Where are we going in the truck?” Lachlan glanced down at me, opening the driver’s door so I could scoot in. He waited until I was settled in the

middle before he jumped in and started the truck. It roared to life, loudly. I prayed the ’rents didn’t hear us. But I secretly didn’t care if they did. I was so high off of my escape that my entire body was shaking with anticipation. Lachlan dimmed his lights, then pulled out onto the road. I sat Indian style, fingers fidgeting with the radio. “Where are we going?” Lachlan shook his head then placed his arm on the back of the seat. “It’s a surprise, luv. We’re almost there.” He took a back road leading us by the river. I had been there with my dad when I was little, but I vaguely remembered it. We had spent the day fishing. The cool air swept through the open windows and slapped my hair back again. When we finally slowed to a stop, it was dark, darker than I was comfortable with. Lachlan opened the door and tried to grab my arm. I shook my head. “It’s dark. I’m scared.” Lachlan laughed, grabbing me underneath my legs and carrying me out of the truck. The wind caressed my skin, the crickets singing a soft song in the distance. Lachlan sat me on the tailgate and pointed behind me. Blankets were layered in the truck bed with two giant pillows lying on top. “Go get underneath the covers; it’s getting chilly.” Too nervous to respond, I crawled to the back of the truck bed and snuggled underneath the covers. They

smelled just like Lachlan’s house. Sweet, flowery. Lachlan jumped into the back of the truck and closed the tailgate after him. He seemed too big to be in the truck, but he crawled underneath the covers. “Are you warm enough, luv?” Nodding, I snuggled into his arm. “Thank you.” “For what?” “Making this special. I always wanted it to be special, to remember it for the rest of my life.” Lachlan pressed his fingers into my side. “Special for what, luv?” he whispered into my ear. “Oh,” I said, sitting up and looking over at him. “I thought we were going to try to—ugh, never mind. Just forget it.” Lachlan laughed and pressed his forehead to mine. “Joking, Laney. Now, relax, baby. I’m not going to hurt you. Calm down. You’re shaking.” I hadn’t realized I was shaking, and we both knew it wasn’t from the chill in the air. My body relaxed, then my eyes zeroed in on his lips. God, I wanted to feel them on me. Lachlan leaned down, eyeing me to make sure it was okay. I nodded, giving him permission, and he pressed his lips against my neck. My thighs lit up in fire, my body smoldering with heat. His kiss traveled up my neck to my earlobe where he bit down, hard. “You sure about this, luv? I’m not rushing you. It’s completely up to you.”

I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I began to talk. “Yes, please,” I said, feeling myself grow anxious with the distance between us. Gently, Lachlan guided me to the blanket. It was soft, and I was glad he had layered them. His eyes roamed my face, as if to memorize every part of me. This time, when he leaned in to kiss me, he didn’t pull away. Thank God. He deepened our kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth. His hands roamed my skin, finally stopping in my hair and pulling, hard. I moaned into his mouth, arching my back. I don’t know when it happened but he was suddenly in-between my legs. “You taste so good, luv.” Holding myself together, barely, I cried out when he rolled his hips against mine. It was all cloth on cloth but the growing bulge in his pants rubbed against my most personal place. Pushing back, Lachlan gripped my hair tighter, forcing my chin up. “Goddamn it, Laney. I want you. Please, say I can have you. Forever. Always.” I nodded against his lips. “Always. Please, take me, Lachlan. I want you.” He growled, sliding his fingers against the edge of my pants. My thighs heated more as his calloused fingers trailed against my ribs all the way to the bottom of my bra. “Is this okay? Can I touch you here, luv?” “Touch me everywhere,” I whispered. He groaned, cupping my left breast with his huge

hand. The sensation was new but a familiar ache grew between my legs. I hooked my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. A hard-as-granite bulge pressed into me. Lachlan gripped my chin, hard, forcing me to look at him. “I love you, Laney. Don’t you ever forget it.” “I won’t,” I said breathless. He smiled, then leaned up so he was sitting on his shins. Reaching down, he tugged his shirt off. I’d seen him with his shirt off before, but knowing he was going to be hovering over me, making me scream his name, made my anticipation grow. The hard, fine lines of his stomach were drool worthy. I’d wanted to touch him since the first day I laid eyes on him. Even if I had socked him in the jaw. Shaking, I asked, “My turn?” Lachlan’s eyes widened and he nodded. Reaching down to the hem of my shirt, I slipped it over my head. The cool wind kissed across me, raising goose bumps along my body. He took a sharp intake of breath, and raked his eyes over me slowly, taking in every inch of me. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Laney,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to the center of my chest. Placing his index finger at the base of my neck, he trailed it down to my navel and then to the top of my jeans. “You’re sure, baby? We can stop right now, I won’t

be mad.” Closing my eyes, I tried to picture anything else I wanted this badly in my life. “Lachlan,” I said, slowly, “I want this. Please.” He smiled, his teeth shining in the moonbeams. “Luv, you’ll never have to beg with me. Come here.” He reached behind me, pulling me onto his lap, until I was straddling him in the back of his dad’s truck. He took his time, trailing kisses over my neck and between my breasts. Frustrated, I grabbed his hand and placed it on the back of my bra. His hand hovered over the latch for a few minutes, while he kissed me all over. Finally, after a few torturous minutes had passed, he unlatched my bra. “I’ve been dreaming about this since I met you, Laney. I wanted to know how you would feel underneath your clothes. How you would feel pressed against me,” he lowered his voice to a whisper. “How you would feel with me inside you.” The ache between my legs throbbed with a need I had to fulfill. “Well,” I whispered. “Let’s find out.” He nodded, sliding each strap off my shoulder. I felt exposed, my breasts in his face. His green eyes gazed over me. He slid the tip of his finger around the edge of my nipple before taking me into his palm, rubbing his finger across the peaked tip. A yelp came from my throat; I’d never been touched there. “Oh,” I whispered, helpless. Suddenly, I was his. This was right. I had to have

him. I would never have anyone else. “Feel good, luv?” Nodding, I pressed my lips against his ear. “More, please. More.” That was all he needed. Laying me back, he brought his mouth down to my nipple, taking the sensitive skin in his hot mouth. “Fuck,” I moaned, grinding my hips against him, frustrated that I couldn’t feel his skin on mine. “Take these off.” Lachlan grinned and stood up. Sliding out of his jeans, he stood in front of me. His boxer briefs fit him well, and his size made my heart pump into overdrive. Oh, God. This is going to hurt, isn’t it? My bottom lip trembled. Lachlan dropped to his knees, cradling my face in his hands. “What’s the matter, luv? Are you okay? Cold?” No, I was burning up. Everywhere. “No, I’m—you’re just so…big. I don’t know if I can take it.” Lachlan pressed his finger against my bottom lip, and smiled. “We can stop. It’s not a big deal, baby—” “No,” I shook my head, pulling him toward me. “I want you—I just want to make sure we can go slow. I’ve never done this. I don’t know what to expect.” Lachlan kissed my cheek and guided me down to the blankets. “We can go as slow as you want to, luv. Anything you want, you can have it.”

Gripping his biceps, I pulled him on top of me. “I want this now—right fucking now, Lachlan.” I rocked my hips toward his. Grabbing my yoga pants, Lachlan slid them down my legs, until they were a puddle of fabric at the end of the truck bed. Eyeing my panties, he licked his lips, sliding his index finger from my ankle all the way to the moist spot between my legs. I groaned, feeling the roughness of his fingers, only separated by the thin fabric of my underwear. He moved his head back slowly, groaning while stroking me. “God, luv, I can feel how wet you are through you knickers.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to my forehead. Embarrassment rushed to my cheeks; I’d never heard anything so sexual in my life, directed at me, at least. I was suddenly glad for the darkness. Lachlan sat back up on his knees and trailed his fingers down my legs, to the tip of my underwear. His eyes flickered toward mine, and held, while he pulled them down past my ankles. I felt uncovered, chills running up my naked body. In any other situation, I would have hid in humiliation, but the male looking down at me made me want to open my thighs and invite him in. His jaw had grown more defined over the last year, leaving him with a strong jaw and full lips. The stubble on his cheek was thick, dark, and paired nicely with his lime-green eyes. I wanted him. More than anything else in the world.

Lachlan took his time looking at me before sliding over me, holding himself up with his elbow. “I want to kiss you everywhere, Laney.” His fingers grazed my navel, then lower, then I felt the heat of his hand over my sex. “Everywhere, baby. Can I kiss you there?” Nervously, I nodded. Lachlan kissed my jaw, down my chest, and paused to take each nipple in my mouth. My skin was afire with sensation. His kisses slowed as he got lower, finally stopping above my sex. “I’ve dreamed about how you would taste, luv. Are you ready?” His finger slipped into my opening, causing me to let out a loud groan. The ache in my stomach erupted, making me arch my back in pleasure. “Christ, Laney, you’re so wet.” His fingers dipped lower into me. “Oh, God. So fucking tight.” Biting my lip, I gripped the blankets beneath me. The rhythm of his fingers burying into me slowly spreading a sensation over my legs. “Lachlan,” I whispered, grinding my hips against his fingers. “Please, more.” He tore his gaze away from my exposed flesh and looked up at me with hungry eyes. “I’m going to kiss you now, luv. Hold on tight.” Knowing he didn’t mean it literally, I still tightened my grip. Pressing a kiss to the inside of my thigh, he plunged his tongue inside of me. Holy shit.

Yelping out, I gripped his head and held on tight. All my problems blew away, the world slipped from my vision, there was nothing except his lips on my core. He lapped at me, tasting me while gripping my ass with his open palms. Crawling back up to me, he took my bottom lip with his teeth and pulled. “That was—fucking amazing,” I whispered. Lachlan smiled down at me, then winked before he reached behind him. A shiny wrapper flickered in the moonbeams, and I swallowed a large lump that was stuck in my throat. “Are you sure? This is the last time I’m going to ask you, I swear. I just want you to be one hundred percent sure.” Taking his face between my hands, I nodded up at him. “Please, Lachlan. I’m ready.” Burying his scruffy face in my neck, he sighed. “Okay, baby. Just sit back, because I’m going to take care of you.” Carefully, Lachlan stood and dropped his boxer briefs. His cock was thick, longer than I had imagined, and it made me wetter than I ever thought possible. He dropped down to his knees quickly, positioning himself between my waiting thighs. I waited, glancing up at the stars as he rolled the condom over his length. Leaning closer, he pressed kisses all over my face, then glanced down at me with heavy lids. “I’m going to start, luv. Hold on to me. If I hurt you, you tell me, and I’ll

fucking stop. Right then. No questions.” Nodding, I clung to his sides, holding on for dear life. Lachlan reached down and pressed himself at my entrance. Tears built in my eyes, not from pain, but from want, need. He locked eyes with me as he slowly began to press into me. A tingling pinch rocked over my core, causing me to press my thighs hard into Lachlan’s sides. “Luv?” “I’m fine,” I mumbled. “Go.” He pushed my hair from my face, wrapped his large hand around my waist, and pressed in harder. A cry tore from my throat, making me clench my thighs tighter. Lachlan’s eyes were wide, his mouth ajar, and his hand tight on my hip. “Fuck,” he grunted out. “You’re so fucking tight, luv. Bloody hell,” he spit through his teeth. Once he was in, he slowly withdrew and eased his way back in. The burning sensation was starting to fade and a pleasurable ache took its place. “More,” I whispered. “A little faster.” I was so comfortable with him. There was no way I would ever find someone that fit me so well that treated me like I was the only girl in the world. Lachlan growled, pushing into me harder. Once he found a steady rhythm, he gripped both hips and ground harder. The heat in my body erupted. This was so perfect. Lachlan bit his bottom lip, leaning in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I love you, Laney. Forever.”

I drown in his voice. “I love you, too.” *** “Hello.” Heather’s voice pulls me out of my daze. “Was it Lachlan?” I blink a few times to focus. “Yeah,” I whisper. “It was him.”

Chapter Twelve Laney “But if you close your eyes Does it almost feel like Nothing changed at all?” — Bastille “I’m not sure I want to do this, Heather.” Heather scoffs, painting more lipstick on my already caked lips. “You’re way too pretty to not go out. You’re depriving the male specimen of this,” she says, gesturing toward my tightly clad body. Rolling my eyes, I pull my hair into a long side-braid. “Whatever, Heather. Drinks do kind of sound nice. We haven’t been out in a while.” She nods. “Yep,” she says, popping her lips in the mirror. “I look good, too. I’ve been dying to wear these heels.” Her leopard-print pumps were a little too outrageous for me, but look hella cute on her. “Bethany texted me and said she is going to meet us there. She is running late. So, let’s go get us a seat before they’re all taken.” I snort and grab my wallet. “I’m sure that won’t happen. It’s a Wednesday.” Heather dabs some perfume between her breasts and on her wrists. “Obviously, you aren’t used to going out during the week. It’s Hump Day and drinks are half off. The

Loft is going to be packed.” Shit. I didn’t even think about that. “Well, I guess we do need to hurry then.” As usual, Heather is right. Vehicles line both sides of the road. A vibrant buzz radiates from The Loft as we near the entrance. A smoky haze sweeps past us as the usher opens the door. I cough and swat the smoke out of my eyes. The place is packed with swaying bodies, the bar full of people chugging half-priced alcohol. Heather wraps her arm through mine and tugs me along until we find a small booth in the corner. She is already flagging down a waitress before I can get my wallet out. We order drinks and relax back into the seats. “Bethany just texted me, she’s here. Look for her.” I glance around the bar, eyeing everyone until I see Bethany trotting toward us. She scoots in with Heather and smiles over at me. “So glad we could do this. I’ve been needing a drink.” She orders one when the waitress drops ours off. “You need a drink? I fucking need a drink.” I sip my wine and sigh. “I’m the one pretending to like a guy.” Sliding the tip of my index finger over the rim of my glass, I glance at them over my glasses. Bethany lifts an eyebrow and nudges Heather. She gives me a pitying look and points behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Aiden leaned over some girl at the bar, feeling on her boobs. Anger. Rage. Fucking torment. My mouth drops open. All the pity I felt for him leading him on is seeping out

of me. “That fucking bastard.” Bethany shrugs and sips her drink. “He’s an ass.” She chugs back more of her drink and slams it on the table. “What do you do? Say something? Leave it alone? What would you truly do in the situation, if you really liked Aiden?” Heather holds her face up with the palm of her hand. “Beat the fuck out of her.” I snort, then place my drink back down. “No, never hit the girl. Odds are she doesn’t even know he is dating me. It’s him that’s the problem. So, we fix it.” “How?” they both ask. “We find our own dates and dance. It’ll kill him to see that I’m not interested in him and his little two-cent ho. Now, let’s pick out my prey.” I hope they don’t hear the anger in my voice. It’s not because I care, but it does add fuel to the jackass-meter that is Aiden. I’m going to cream his ass. Heather squeals and clasps her hands together. “We’ve got to find a fine one. Oh, how about the hottie with the nose ring?” I wince. “Be nice, ladies.” They both laugh. Ten minutes later I’m about to give up, when Bethany points toward the outskirts of the dance floor. A tall guy with wide shoulders and dark skin is leaning against the wall, talking to a few other guys. He must be mixed with something because his mulatto skin is perfectly colored, with jeans that fit him just right and a dark red shirt that sets off his skin. “Hmm,” I say. “He could work.” “Great—now go get ’em. I can’t wait to see this shit,” Heather says, taking another long drink. “Let’s go. Get up.”

I put my palms up in surrender. “Calm down, I’ve got this.” I stand, feeling a little wobbly with this wine I’ve been sucking down. “Wow,” I giggle, which is rare for me, and steady myself against the wall behind our booth. “Now, ladies,” I curtsy. “Let me show you how it’s done.” Staggering, I catch my balance and start toward the floor. Elbows and shoves are thrown at me, almost making me bust my ass. The dance floor is flooded. A few guys try to grab my waist but I swat them away. I’m a girl on a mission. The guy doesn’t see me until I’m a foot away. His dark eyes glance down at me, and he smiles. It’s a nice smile, almost sweet. “Hi,” he says, leaning down so I can hear him over the music. “You want to dance?” Nodding, I let him wrap a large arm around my waist and pull me toward the floor. Nonchalantly, I glance around for Aiden. He is sitting at the bar, still drooling over the blond. I make sure we can be seen from the bar and press my ass against Hottie’s front. Two tree trunks of arms wrap around me from behind, swaying me to the music. He isn’t touchy, only dancing, and it makes me want to dance more. It’s been so long since I danced; it feels great to sway my hips to the rhythm his are providing. An upbeat song blasts through the speakers, and we amp up our pace, grinding and laughing. He is telling me to let loose when he is suddenly jerked away from me.

Bingo. Aiden is standing behind him, nostrils flared, fists clenched, and face raging. Oh, yeah. He cranes his neck to

look at me. “Laney—what are…what in the hell are you doing with this baboon?” Hottie steps up to Aiden and presses his shoulder against his. “We’re dancing, what the fuck does it look like?” Aiden growls, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer to him. “We’re leaving. How could you dance like that with him?” Is he whining? I’m not sure, but it’s getting on

my nerves. “Look, man, we were just dancing. If you would take better care of your girl, she wouldn’t have gone looking for a dance partner.” Hottie looks down at me and smiles. “It was fun. I’d suggest you get a better boyfriend. He seems like an ass.” Damn. Aiden lets out a cold chuckle and pushes Hottie in the chest. He takes a few steps backward, bumping into a few people, before launching himself at Aiden. I will say that Aiden takes the punch like a man. His head jerks, then he is flying toward Hottie like a mad man. It’s all a blur for a few minutes, my legs wobbly and my eyes hurting from trying to focus. Finally, I clear my head only to be yanked toward the door. Hottie is shaking his head at the bouncer and pointing in our direction. My arm feels like it’s been pulled out of its socket. Aiden is dragging me through the crowded bar and toward the door. The bouncer watches us as we disappear through the door onto the sidewalk. Aiden turns on his heel, eyes wide, anger written all over his face. “Why—” he trails off, running his fingers through his

hair. “Why in the fuck were you dancing with that asshole? I —Goddamn it, Laney.” Raising an eyebrow, I pick at my fingernail. “Well, it was just a dance. There wasn’t any need for you to flip the fuck out. Plus, I thought it would be OK since you decided to feel up the blond at the bar.” Aiden’s face turns white as a ghost. His mouth opens but then snaps shut. Fidgeting, he finally glances up at me. “I’m sorry—I’m not used to being serious.” He reaches for me, but I take a step away from him. I nod. “I know. That’s why I’m not sure this,” I gesture toward the both of us, “is a good idea. I had fun, Aiden. But I don’t think you’re dating material.” He’s been shaking his head the entire time I’ve been talking. He reaches for me, but retracts his arm when I take another step back. “No, babe—please, don’t go. Let’s talk about it.” Fear is in his eyes. I don’t feel sorry for him anymore. No more excuses, no more beating around the bush. This asshole is going down. *** Bethany is dying from laughter when we get back to our dorm room. She has had about as much to drink as I have. She stumbles against our door and turns to look at us. “His face, it was hilarious. Has he texted you yet?” I dig my phone out of Heather’s purse. Sure enough, Aiden has called me three times, texted me four, and even

left a voicemail. Bethany raises her eyebrows and presses her head against our door. “This was the best idea ever. We should go cut his hair now. What do you think?” She falls against the door and starts to wiggle her hips. I have no idea why, because she looks like she is trying to get the door horny. “Maybe tomorrow night. We’re all a little too wasted tonight.” Bethany pokes her hip out, along with her bottom lip. “Alright…I’m heading to bed. It’s probably good to wait until tomorrow.” She pulls her strawberry blond hair from her face. “I feel sick.” I wrinkle my nose and point down the hall toward her room. “You go be sick in your room. I don’t want to see that.” She sticks her tongue out at me, then staggers off toward her room. Heather swings our door open and the next thing I know, she is lying on the floor. “Fuck,” she screams. “What in the hell—” I can’t help it, I laugh. I bend over at the waist and hold myself up with my hands on my elbows. “What did you slip on? Are you okay?” She gets up and starts to rub her butt. “Ouch—stupid ass.” She looks down and picks up a piece of paper that had been shoved under our door. She reads it, and then gives me a devilish smile. “You deserve to be bowed to, my dear.” She bows and holds the paper out to her side. I snatch it from her hand and look over it.

Baby—I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me. I just—you

weren’t answering my phone calls earlier, so I went out. Then—I mean—she was just there. Please, call me. Really? She was just…there? I rip the paper into tiny pieces and toss them into my trash can. “Let’s cut his hair.” “Okay, now?” Heather says, slipping off her heels. “Let’s take our showers and wait until one or so. I’m sure he’ll be in bed.” Heather nods. “How are we going to get into his room? I’m sure he won’t keep it opened.” “Damn, I forgot about that. Wait.” I snap my fingers. “I know the perfect person.” *** “No.” “What do you mean no? You have to help us.” Jacks raises his brow and crosses his arms over his chest. “No, I don’t have to do anything. As you can see,” he gestures toward himself, “I’m half-naked and very busy with my term paper for history.” Glancing behind him into his room, I see his Xbox controller lying on his unmade bed. “Right, it really looks like your term paper is going to get done.” He scoffs. “I’m not doing it, Laney. That is breaking and entering. I won’t be a part of your little maniacal scheme.” Heather blows past her lips and presses her hand against Jacks’ shoulder. “Look, this is way bigger than your

little Xbox world. This is serious business.” He shakes his head. “Sorry, not going to happen.” “Please,” I beg, getting down on my knees. “Please, I will…do your writing homework for a month. I’ll clean your nasty dorm room…I’ll buy you a game. Anything, we need your skills. Neither one of us can pick a lock.” Jacks lowers his eyelids and purses his lips. “Homework for an entire month? No breaking our deal? And…clean my room before my mom comes up to get me in December.” “Done.” I hold my hand out. Acting like it may bite, he reluctantly takes it. “Let me get dressed.” *** Jacks taps his fingers against the bottom of the RA’s desk. Heather jerks my arm forward and we quickly run into the side hallway. Jacks had been distracting the RA, knocking things over and asking a million questions, hoping for a chance for us to sneak in. Aiden’s dorm is across from mine. Jacks comes around the corner a few moments later. He has a cocky grin on his face, and his hands are shoved into his jeans. “What in the hell would you guys do without me?” Shoving his shoulder, I point toward the hallway. We move like ninjas toward the third floor. It’s one thirty in the morning and his light is off. I’m hoping he is sound asleep.

The beer probably zonked him out, but who really knows? Jacks glances at us before pulling out his lockpicking kit. I don’t watch as he does it, like maybe that will make the situation a little less real. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t want to do this, it’s just, I’m really doing this. Jacks pinches his eyes closed and pulls up his lip until he hears a small click. “Done. Now, you two have exactly five minutes and I’m leaving you here. Go.” Heather elbows me and gestures for me to follow her. Tip-toeing, we ease our way into the dimly lit room. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the black light in the corner. The TV is on, a soft roar of some football game playing. Aiden is lying face down on his bed, one arm hanging off the side, the other tucked tightly next to him. An array of beer cans lie next to his bed, all drained, from what I can tell. Heather points toward the cans. “You’re making him drink himself to death. Shame on you.” Poking her in the side, I hold my finger up to my lips. “Where are the scissors?” Heather’s mouth drops opened and she wraps her hand around her mouth. “I forgot them,” she whispers. God, I could strangle her. Giving her my best dirty look, I slowly move toward Aiden’s desk. It’s messy with papers everywhere and some drinks. Aiden moans, sending me into statue mode. I freeze, hand outstretched. Please, do not wake up. My fears slip away when I hear the faint sound of his snores.

Heather’s breath on the back of my neck is making me squeamish. A pair of scissors are sticking out of a pen holder. Grabbing them, I turn around to face her. She is red in the face and holding back her laugh. “We haven’t even done it yet,” I hiss at her. “Can you please be quiet?” She straightens her shoulders and nods. Standing over Aiden with a pair of scissors in my hands isn’t anything I had ever imagined myself doing. Shit,

I don’t even like to be in his room. Now, I’m sneaking into it? This deal is turning me loopy. My heart hammers against my chest, as I near his bed. He is still lying on his stomach, snores rising from his lips. “Okay,” I whisper to Heather. I reach down and carefully pull a chunk of his hair from the back of his head. Holding my laughter back, I snip until all I can see is a small bald spot on the back of his head. Success! Heather is high-fiving me when I hear the doorknob start to rattle. Why is Jacks making so much noise? Then the door opens just a smidge to show the top of some guy’s head, as he reads a text on his phone. Dread. That’s the word. It was consuming me. Aiden said his roommate was never here. Heather is wide-eyed, staring straight ahead. Shit. Grabbing Heather’s hand, I pull her down to the floor with me. With speed I didn’t know my un-athletic ass possessed, we slid under Aiden’s bed. The door squeaks all the way open. “Aiden, you asleep, bro?” Aiden jerks around, and I assume sits up because

the bed squeaks under his weight. “What the—come on, man, it’s fucking one o clock in the morning.” His roommate scoffs and I see his jeans drop to the floor. Heather pokes me and wiggles her eyebrows. I jab my elbow into her side. “Shhh,” I mumble as low as I can. This is some fucked-up shit. So far this week I’ve gotten stuck in a bathroom window, trapped by my exboyfriend in two different bathrooms, and now I’m stuck under my pretend boyfriend’s bed. Someone is definitely out to get me. “Since when does Aiden—God’s gift to women— care about staying up late? You’re always dragging some innocent girl in here to bang.” Aiden growls. “Well, it’s fucking different now. Back off, man.” His roommate is quiet for a minute. I almost think he may be going to sleep. “What do you mean different? Are you saying that you’ve found someone special? Alert the media!” Aiden sighs. “It’s—I like her. Her—not her body, which is pretty smoking, too. But, she is…a handful. Dances with other guys, doesn’t take me seriously at all. I love it. God, I sound like a pussy-whipped boyfriend.” His roommate dives onto his bed, which protests with a loud screech. “No, you’re just finally starting to open up. I know that girl in high school messed you up, but it’s about time you let yourself love again. Let yourself have feelings.”

Goddamn it. If I wasn’t feeling bad before the club situation, I sure felt like shit now. Someone had already broken his heart? He just needed someone to push his limits, make him care. An ache tears through my stomach. I squeeze my hand tighter around the hair clutched in my hand. I’m a terrible person. Aiden coughs and changes positions. “Thanks, man. It was nice to have you here.” His roommate mumbles something under his breath and then there is silence. Heather and I are holding our breaths, until we start to hear their snores in the silence of the dorm room. Heather taps my shoulder and points toward the door. I nod, slowly, crawling out from underneath his bed. Heather follows behind me, closing the door behind her. Jacks looks like he just saw a horde of zombies walking through the hallway. “What the—oh, my God, I thought you two were dead meat. Shit, I didn’t want to call you, it would have woken Aiden up.” “I know, I think I almost shit in my pants,” Heather says, wiping her brow. “But,” she grabs my wrist and holds up the hand with the hair, “we got it.” Jacks rolls his eyes. “You two are terrible people. Make sure I never piss you two off. Can we go home now?” I nod. “What did you say to the roommate? He wasn’t curious that you were standing outside his dorm room?” Jacks smiles. “I just pretended to be at the wrong door. Then I started acting drunk, because I figure that

always works. It did.” “Of course.”

Chapter Thirteen Lachlan “My weakness is that I care too much” — Papa Roach “I won.” The blue ribbon in my hands stares back up at me. I clutch it tighter, glaring down at the words 1st Place. “I bloody won,” I mumble under my breath. The crowd is still cheering, patting me on the back, flashing me big grins. “I bloody did it.” It’s not that I thought I couldn’t win, but my opponent was good. She had been cooking her entire life. So had I, but she had at least twenty years on me. I turn and shake her hand. “Your cake was delicious, luv. You’re a fantastic cook.” She smiles, then pats me on the back. “Not as good as yours. Congratulations, hon. You have a wonderful life ahead of you.” Smiling, I kiss her cheek before she starts packing her things. Dr. Phillips, who had handed me my ribbon, was now looming over me. It kind of flipped me the bloody hell out. “Lachlan,” he says, adjusting his glasses. “We have tons to talk about. I’m going to be pretty busy with tests the next few days. Is there any way you could meet me at the college? I have a writing class around eleven on Monday. We can go over all the details of your job. Set up a time to go check out the restaurant. It will be open in a couple of weeks.”

A couple of weeks? I don’t even know if I want to live here. I never really thought I was going to win. I had no idea what to expect. All my things are in Australia; I’d have to make a trip back to get them. Get an apartment? Get my vehicle over here. I run my fingers through my hair. “Sure—I can meet you there. Where is your classroom?” Dr. Phillips pulls out a notecard and jots down the directions. My eyes wander over the crowd. I know who I’m looking for, and I watched her while I cooked. She wasn’t sitting by her boyfriend, but by her friend. Her arms had been crossed, eyes uneasy. Something was wrong. But, I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be near her arsehole of a boyfriend. Not to mention, he had a huge chunk out of the back of his hair. I had nearly dropped my cake when he turned around, pulled off his cap, and showed some guy talking to him. He was pissed. It made me fucking smile. She isn’t standing where she had been, but her blond hair caught my attention by the door. Her jeans—the ones I wish she would stop wearing—were snug against her ass. She laughs at something that guy says and then, as if she knows I’m staring at her, she glances back over her shoulder. I know the look. She wants to come over to me, I can feel it, but doesn’t. She smiles, nods her head, and gives me a thumbs up. It’s the first nice reaction, besides kissing me back, that she has given me. I smile and give her a small wink. She takes a sharp breath in and turns to disappear through the double doors.

“Lachlan,” Dr. Phillips says, drawing my attention back to him. His eyebrow is raised above his Coke-bottle glasses. “Do you know Ms. Scott from somewhere?” “Yeah, I know her.” *** The music is way too loud in this damned place. It’s not like the casual clubs I’m used to going to back home. They don’t try to bust your bloody eardrums. Lucas insisted we go out to celebrate, since Savannah was out doing some last minute bridesmaid shopping with Jamie. I was thrilled to get out of the apartment without Jamie. She was starting to come over more, hanging around when I leave and pretending like we’re dating. We most certainly are not. Lucas slaps his hand against the booth table, causing me to break my daze. “You’re a fucking winner, haven’t I always told you that?” He’s wasted. “No, you’ve never said that, mate. But, nice try.” Lucas chugs some of his drink, and flags the waitress down for another one. “Keep ’em coming,” he yells. “Are we trying to drink our life away tonight? I thought we were celebrating, not getting too wasted to get home.” “Oh, come on, you old man. We’re having a good time. You’ve got a job…here. Which reminds me, what in the fuck are you going to do? You going to move back here? Don’t get me wrong, I would love that, but I just didn’t

think you ever wanted to come back. Not after—” I cut him off with a sharp stare. “I didn’t want to—but now, I have a reason.” “Two,” Lucas mumbles under his breath. I glare at him over my beer. “She is fucked up, Lucas. Her heart…it seems like it’s been scattered into ten million pieces. I’m going to put her back together. You’re right. I do have two reasons to be here. I’ve won one, now I’m going to win the other back.” “That’s the spirit, you ole’ chap,” Lucas says. “Because here is your chance. She is standing over there by the bar.” What? I snap my head around, my eyes meeting her dark green ones. She is pressed against the counter, sitting on a stool and looking out across the dance floor. She sips her drink, her eyes fluttering up to meet mine. She doesn’t move, it doesn’t even look like she is breathing. I stand up. “Wait, where are you going?” Lucas asks. I glance over my shoulder. “To dance with my girl.” Lucas gives me a small smile and with his best Australian accent says, “Go get her, mate.” She sees me walking toward her. Her fingers tighten around her drink, and her legs twitch against the stool. Her roommate is standing beside her, yapping with some guy. She hasn’t even noticed. When I get to her, my heart is pounding in my throat. I’m such a pussy. Staring down at her, I offer her my hand. “Want to dance, luv?”

She purses her lips, then bites down slowly. Goddamn, I want to do that for her. She takes a slow breath, and just when I know she’s going to tell me to get lost, she places her hand in mine. I grin, like a damned fifteen-year-old boy. Guiding her behind me, I stop between a few other couples dancing in the middle of the floor. The song is a rap song, fast and up-beat. Laney’s hand is trembling in mine, I hate that she is afraid to know me again. I turn her ass toward me and wrap my hands around her waist. She takes a small breath in and tenses at my touch. It’s been so long…I screw my eyes together and push her toward me again. “Don’t be nervous,” I lean down and whisper in her ear. She smells flowery. My dick reminds me how she affects me. Everywhere. “I won’t hurt you again, luv.” She sways to the music, the tension in her shoulders draining away as she finally begins to dance. She grinds her ass against me, and I pray she can’t feel my erection against her, but if I had to guess she knows it’s there. Her hands go to the air, and she starts to sing along with the song. Laughing, she begins to sway her hips faster, throwing her hair around. She is finally having a good time. We’re both laughing, and dancing, when she reaches down and grabs my thigh, squeezing hard. The close contact sends my hormones on a rampage. Unable to help myself, I pull her hair to the side, placing a soft kiss against the skin below her ear. She moans. Holy Fucking Shit. She reaches behind

her, grabbing my hair and holding my face at her neck. Her fingers grip harder, so I lean down and touch my lips to her again. “More,” she says over the music. I’m a man of my word. I open my mouth and suck her sweet skin into my mouth. She arches her back, making her ass hit me harder. I suck harder, not wanting to let go. Biting down slightly, she growls, turning to face me. Her green eyes are wide—innocent almost—and beautiful. Her eyes undress me as they lower over my body. “More,” she whispers again. Christ. I grip the base of her neck, forcing her chin up. She couldn’t get away if she wanted to. I hover my mouth over hers, smelling the alcohol and mint, just a hairbreadth away from her waiting lips. “More?” I ask. She nods, her eyes wide—waiting—and her pupils growing. “Yes.” Bringing my other hand up, I trace my finger over the outline of her bottom lips. She has the prettiest lips I’ve ever laid eyes on. Thick, pink, and soft. They would make a priest swear. Slowly, I close the gap between our mouths, not able to keep myself from it any longer. Gentle at first, a soft, barely there kiss, then I quicken the pace. She opens her mouth for me, inviting me in. She doesn’t know but I never want her to let me go. This is the kiss I want forever. Tangling my hands in her soft blond hair, I tug until we’re touching everywhere. Her body is shivering against mine. Her softness fits perfectly against my hardness. A soft groan comes from

her throat as I trace her lips with my tongue. I’m not sure how much she’s been drinking, but I know it’s not enough to cloud her judgment. She wants this. Just like I want it—need it. Breaking free, I trail down her neck to the top of her low-cut shirt. She is breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling in quick jerks. The tips of her fingers press harder into my scalp as I make my way to the edge of her bra. I’m lost in her delicious skin when I feel someone push me forward. I fall into Laney, grabbing her hip to keep her from falling. Her eyes are wide, staring behind me. I know it’s him. “Go sit down, Laney. I’ll take care of this fucking twit.” I don’t give her time to answer. I push her forward and sling around. I come face-to-face with Aiden. He is staring at me, a serious rage building in his eyes. “Get your filthy hands off my girlfriend.” “I’m not your girlfriend,” Laney spits out. “Go sit down!” I yell back at her. She crosses her arms over her chest and doesn’t budge. God—hard-headed woman. I grit my teeth and turn back to Aiden. “You’re hurting, Laney. I said I was sorry. Please forgive me,” he says, taking a step toward Laney. I step to my left and block his path. “Move out of the way, before I beat your ass right now, Aussie.” Closing my eyes, I try to calm myself. “You have no idea how badly I want to press your head into the floor, twit. Now, get the fuck away from her. She isn’t your girlfriend.

She just said it.” Aiden frowns and tries to move around me, but I push his shoulder, making him stagger into a few dancing couples. “No,” Laney says, running in front of me. She has one hand on my chest and the other out in front of her. “Aiden, stay back. You’ve both been drinking and will probably regret this tomorrow. Just go home.” Is the bloody twit crying? He is clenching his fists and staring at Laney. “I’m fucking sorry. I won’t do it again, I swear.” Do what again? I’m going to knock the last living breath out of him. She is quiet for a moment, then she drops her arms. “Aiden…we can talk tomorrow. Go home, now, or I’m not going to talk to you at all.” Aiden screws his eyes shut, turns, and pushes his way out of the crowd. Laney turns around, her dark green eyes wide. A tremble forms on her bottom lip, but she bites it. “Laney, does he hurt you?” She closes her eyes, a tear falling from the corner. I want to wipe it away but she doesn’t look like she wants to be touched. “No, I hurt him.” What? “You—you hit him? What do you mean?” She shakes her head, wipes her face, and takes a deep breath. “Don’t worry about me, Lachlan.”

No, she is withdrawing. She is going to hide. She is shutting her doors. “Laney, no, don’t go.”

“Lachlan, please, it’s too much right now. I feel like I’m suffocating. I see you and it hurts. It burns. Just please…” She is crying, hysterically. Tears stream down her flushed cheeks. Fucking shit. I want to hold her. Tell her it’s going to be okay. Tell her I love her, and that I never stopped loving her, but she is gone. She pushes a path through the crowd and out the door.

Chapter Fourteen Laney “Life goes on, it gets so heavy The wheels break the butterfly Every tear—a waterfall” — Coldplay At least my coffee is warm today. Snapping the top onto my coffee container, I sling my backpack over my shoulder. My head is pounding and the Advil I took when I woke up isn’t helping. I hold the bridge of my nose with two fingers. “You know you can miss a class, Laney. It won’t kill you,” I hear Heather from under her covers, sleeping comfortably like I wish I were. Pushing my glasses up my nose, I narrow my eyes at her. “No, because I can’t miss Dr. Phillips’ class anymore. Since he tortured us with the Cook Off, I’m not risking it again. And we have an assignment due today.” A poem that I wrote while I was crying which is never a good thing to do. Not only are there corners smudged with mascara from me drying my tears and trying to write, but it’s about Lachlan. Heather mumbles incoherently through her covers, and then flips onto her side. Jacks is leaving his dorm room when I open my door. “Wow, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Thanks.” I roll my eyes. Jacks pats my shoulder. “Really, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?” All weekend. All freaking weekend. I don’t think my eyes can produce any more tears. They burn when I blink. My entire world feels like it is slipping from me. He had held me so close to him, his hard muscles clenching around me. So perfect. So raw and real. I never wanted to let myself go with him as much as I did last night. “I’ve just had a terrible weekend. Can we talk about anything else?” “Okay, how are you and Aiden doing?” “Okay, anything other than my terrible weekend and Aiden.” Jacks laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder. *** Jacks doesn’t send me any more notes in class. Thank God. I don’t think I could handle another Cook Off or some Dungeons and Dragons bullshit, which I’m sure Dr. Phillips is into. He barely gives us a glance when we walk in. He seems to be scrawling something down, quickly. “Okay, who did their homework?” I pull out my pathetic poem and hand it to Dr. Phillips as he passes by our desks. I don’t think he really reads them, only gives us the points if we try. So, I don’t care that I

wrote about Lachlan. He doesn’t know it’s about him. He doesn’t pull any out and embarrass anyone today, so I relax a little in my seat. We’re fifty minutes into class when a girl sitting a few rows ahead of me drops her head down to her desk with a loud thud. “Damn,” Jacks says from behind me. Dr. Phillips jumps up and presses his fingers to her pulse. “She’s breathing. Someone help me get her up. You guys are dismissed. Laney, can you stay behind for me? There is a gentleman coming for me in a bit. Tell him I’ll be right back; I had an emergency.” I nod, even though he could have asked anyone else to stay. I have work study in ten minutes. “Drunk or stoned?” Jacks asks. I purse my lips. “Hungover.” Jacks nods. “Yep, she looks like one of those. You want me to stay with you?” Jacks asks, sliding his bag over his shoulder. “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll meet you at lunch. Hopefully, I’ll get through work study without having to beat up the football team.” Jacks laughs, then pushes his blond hair from his face. “See you later.” The classroom empties out quickly. I can’t blame them. I want to get the hell out of here, too. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walk down to Dr. Phillips desk. It is cluttered with papers, pens, and an empty coffee cup. Slob. I’m looking in his grade book when I hear the door creak open. I glance back and stop. Of course.

“What are you doing here?” I blurt out. Lachlan presses his teeth into his bottom lip and gives me a once over. The movement makes me squirm. “I’m here to meet Dr. Phillips. He is going to give me the information about my new job.” Job? I didn’t even think about him winning. Sliding my fingers against the desk, I glance back over at him. “Are you moving back?” The thought makes my stomach tighten.

Will I see him all the time? Lachlan keeps his gaze on mine, watching me closely, before he closes the door behind him. The click sends warmth in-between my legs. Moving around, I put the desk between us. It seems like it’s the only place I’m safe. Yet, I’m not sure it’s enough. He is wearing a dark blue shirt today, tight to his chest. I can see the deep line of his abs beneath the fabric. He is closer now. He picks up the stapler off of Dr. Phillips’ desk and places it back down. “What if I am moving back?” I’d melt into a puddle right now. I’d lock myself in my room forever. I’d have wet dreams every night. The list is endless. “Nothing. I was just asking.” He chuckles, but doesn’t look up from a pile of papers on the desk. “Really.” My nerves are bouncing around inside of me. What is he looking at? A smile rises from the corner of his mouth and his green eyes drag, slowly, toward mine. “I find that hard to believe.” Heat. It’s swarming me. What is he looking—fuck.

My entire body ignites in flames. He is looking at my homework. Before I can think, I rush around the desk and snatch the paper out of his hand. “That’s private.” He nods, turning so he can lean against the desk. “Is it true?” “What?” I whisper, knowing exactly what he is talking about. “What that poems says. Do you regret it? Leaving that night, luv?” A dryness consumes my mouth, I’m unable to speak. Do I regret it? Of course. It’s the one night I wish I could take back. The one mistake I wish I had never made. But, I had. Now, I don’t deserve anyone. Not Lachlan. Not even Aiden. I deserve to be alone. I did this to myself. My one love, my one all-consuming faith, I damned to Hell. And God is punishing me. “Yes, of course I do.” Lachlan stares at me for a few seconds, but it feels like an hour. Standing up, he turns until I’m pressed against Dr. Phillips’ desk. My back arches, afraid to get too close to him. My body is betraying me, it wants him. All of him. On me. In me. He is dangerously close now, his minty breath kissing my cheek. “Then prove it, luv.” My breath catches in my throat. Oh, how bad I want him. Fingers lightly trace my side, up to my neck. His wide palm rests below my ear. “I said prove it, luv. Show me it was a mistake. Show me how we used to. Show me that you remember.”

I moan. Goddamn it, I moan. He is challenging me with his eyes; they haven’t left my lips. I want this. Just one kiss. Just one touch. Closing my eyes, I lean in until my lips are pressed against his. It’s the first time he’s let me make the move. It’s dangerously delicious. I pull back slightly, until our lips are barely touching. He brushes my hair away from my neck, and I hear him suck in a deep breath. He groans and lowers his hands to my hips, his wide palms engulfing each bone. “Do you know what you do to me, luv?” he whispers, bringing one finger up to my navel. I’m breathing heavily. I can’t make myself stop. I suck in a larger breath when he trails it between my breasts up to my bottom lip. His eyes are on me, testing my self-control. He is definitely pushing the line. I want him so bad, I feel knots forming in my stomach. My frustration is forming in my throat. He lifts me at my waist, until he is standing inbetween my legs. He slides his hands beside me, pushing all the crap around on the desk. Jesus Christ, he is close. Too close. As if he knows I can’t take it any longer, he slides his finger against my bottom lip. Frustrated, I take his finger in my mouth. His eyes widen, and he pulls me closer to him. I feel how hard he is against my sex. I wish there were no clothes keeping us from one another. “Goddamn, luv,” he whispers as I suck harder. My panties are soaking wet. I feel like I have no control over myself. There is no more stopping me. I want him. Right. Fucking. Now.

Pulling his finger from my mouth, he presses his lips against mine. His kiss makes my stomach swirl. I open my mouth wider, inviting him in. His tongue touches my bottom lip, asking permission. I groan, reach up, and tangle my fingers into his hair. “Laney,” he says. My name coming off his lips makes my grind into him, wrapping my legs around his waist. My mind is like a slideshow. I can’t turn it off. It only sees him. Our first kiss. Our first time. Everything about him. He responds quickly, sliding his fingers up the edge of my shirt, until his palm is flat against my ribs. “I want to take all of your goddamn clothes off and take you, luv. I want to feel inside of you again. Please. Please.” His begging makes me cry out. My body is racing more than it ever has. I’m so lost in him. Lost in the past. So lost that I don’t hear the door open. “Excuse me.” Fuck. I’m off the desk in two seconds. Dr. Phillips is standing at the door, papers in one hand and the other tucked into his pocket. “Laney, I told you to tell the person meeting me I would be back soon, not try and seduce him on my desk.” I just died. Yep, died of humiliation. I swear I’m holding fire in my cheeks. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Dr. Phillips. I —” “It’s not her fault. Blame me. We…we use to date. It’s been a while. I just—I had to kiss her. I’m sorry.” Dr. Phillips raises an eyebrow and rolls his eyes.

“Get out of my classroom, Ms. Scott, before I come to my senses and make you do extra homework.” I don’t say anything, just reach down, grab my bag, and run out of the door. *** Jacks has his head down on the cafeteria table, laughing hysterically. I toss three fries at his head and give him my best stern look. “This is serious, Jacks. Stop laughing. I should have never told you, you asshole.” Jacks pushes back his hair. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry. I’m stopping. I just…” more laughter, “…it’s so fucking funny. I mean, you read about it and hear about it, but you never think these kinds of things actually happen. You have the worst timing and luck I’ve ever heard of.” I sigh. “Thanks.” “Seriously, though. Were you really on his desk?” “God, you ass.” I go to stand up, but he grabs my arm. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop. No more. Promise.” Making sure he is serious before I sit down, I raise an eyebrow. “Promise,” he says. I sit back down and grab my fork. “This is just all too much.” “Do you love him?” “Who?” Jacks rolls his eyes. “Lachlan. Do you still love him?

I know you said you deserve to be alone, for this big secret of a reason, but I don’t think anyone deserves to be alone. It’s awfully lonely.” “You don’t understand—” “Yeah, I know, big secret. But you didn’t answer. Do you love him?” “I—” “Oh, shit.” Jacks pretends to duck behind his cup. “Pretend boyfriend alert. Three o’clock.” I turn around and watch Aiden push his way through the lunchroom crowd. He looks really determined. It makes me want to run out of the room screaming. When he gets to me, he grabs my hand and stands up in front of everyone. “What are you doing, Aiden?” I haven’t really spoken to him since the club. After his massive fit over Lachlan, he has kept his distance. I was actually starting to think he was done. I was too much trouble for him. Obviously not. He is leading me to the center of the cafeteria. “Aiden, tell me right now what’s going on.” He isn’t listening. His grip is tight on my wrist. When he stops, I look around at everyone staring at us. Jesus, I

just want to disappear right now. “Listen, everyone. Are you listening?” “Aiden, stop right now. What’s going on?” We’re busted. It’s the only logical explanation. Now, he is going to rat me out in front of the entire school. “Shhh, Laney. Hold on,” he whispers before wrapping his arm around my waist. Oh, God. “If you guys

haven’t noticed, I’ve been dating Laney for the past week. She is the only girl that’s made me feel this…crazy.” A few people let out wolf whistles and I swear I’m slowing walking into the light. Everyone is going to know. I mentally groan. Jacks is staring at me. He is laughing hysterically behind his palm. Bastard. I flip him off and screw my eyes shut. I’m sure I had a nightmare about this once. “But, this is my girlfriend. And I’m not afraid to say that I’m whipped.” The entire cafeteria starts clapping. Yep, like we’re in a damn romantic comedy. It’s definitely comical. Aiden kisses my cheek and tugs me closer to him. And I thought my life couldn’t get any more complicated. *** “What in the hell was that?” Aiden stops with his hand on the cafeteria door handle. “What do you mean? I just told everyone you’re my girlfriend. I thought you’d be happy?”

Happy? Happily humiliated? What is this guy smoking? I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. “Well, a little bit of a warning would have been nice.” Aiden swallows, then trails a finger down the length of my face. “I’m sorry. I thought you would like it.” He looks like a lost puppy dog. When did he start

acting so…clingy? Jeez. Play your part, Laney. Not only is your reputation on the line but Heather’s relationship.

Bethany will sing like a canary. Smiling, I reach up on my toes and lightly kiss his cheek. “I am happy. I just—it took me off-guard. That’s all.” Aiden grins, then wraps his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to let everyone know that I really like you. Sure, it was high school-ish. But, sometimes it’s better that way. To live like we’re in high school. Fall in love like we’re fifteen again, and put everything into it.”

Or not. “Right,” I whisper. “Well, I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you later.” “Wait,” Aiden says. “Are you still going to go to the wedding with me? It’s Friday.” Damn it. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Aiden’s brows furrow. “Why?” “Did you not see me get stuck in the window? I would rather not replay that in my mind.” Aiden laughs. “I think it was sexy. Your ass hanging out.” He smiles and runs a finger down my neck. “If that Aussie guy hadn’t been staring at your ass, it would have made it so much better.” I avoid eye contact. He had been staring at my ass? I know my cheeks have to be red. “So, you won’t be mad if I don’t go?” He frowns. “I don’t want to go alone. I tell you what… we can go and leave as soon as the wedding’s over. Please?” Biting my lip, I try to think of a way out. Nothing. He’s

got me now, I need to go. It’s what my character would do. “Okay, as long as we leave quickly afterwards.” Aiden smiles, then leans down and presses his lips to mine. It startles me. He’s never kissed me in public like this before. Cradling my face, he presses me against the wall. I screw my eyes shut. His lips are soft, but not Lachlan soft. His hands are gentle, but not like him. Frustration erupts from my chest. I grab his shirt and squeeze. “Jesus,” he whispers, raking his fingers down my back to cup my ass. “You feel so good, Laney.”

Tears. They’re threatening to run down my face. No, don’t. I smile into his mouth, the only thing I can think to do. “Why don’t you come over tonight?” he whispers before biting down, gently, on my earlobe. I suck in a deep breath. I know I should say no, because I can see the lust in his eyes. But, I think about Lachlan. The frustration of wanting him so badly I can’t breathe. It makes me see red. I want a release. I need to feel something more, to show me it doesn’t have to be him. I need something to keep me from falling hard into Lachlan again, only to be torn apart. “Why don’t we go outside to your car?” He groans and grabs my bottom lip with his lips. “I think that sounds like a great idea. Come on.” Adrenaline is coursing through my body, and despite my better judgment, I let Aiden pull me toward his BMW. Thank God the windows are tinted.

The parking lot is full of cars, but everyone is in class or at lunch. I can hear my heart beat inside my head. Aiden pulls out his car keys, fumbles with the lock, and opens the back door. I feel like I’m sixteen again, climbing into the back of my date’s truck to make out before my mom starts calling me to come home. Sliding in, Aiden shuts the door and wastes no time intertwining his fingers around the back of my neck. “God, I want you so bad, baby,” Aiden whispers, pressing his lips against my neck. Aiden pushes his shirt over his head when I reach my hand underneath his shirt. His muscles are hard and tense beneath me. I press my eyes shut harder, a kaleidoscope of colors previewing before my closed eyes. Lachlan’s face flickers into my vision every few seconds. Aiden’s body hovers over mine, his leg between my legs, pushing them open farther. I feel his lips on my neck, traveling down to my bra. I don’t stop him. I can’t. All I see when my eyes are closed is Lachlan. Kissing me. Holding me. Touching me. Tearing me apart. Aiden’s fingers sliding down to my jeans zipper brings me back to reality. What in the fuck am I doing? My jeans are halfway down my legs when I grip Aiden’s arm. “Aiden—I’m…I need to stop. I’m sorry.” Aiden widens his eyes and starts nodding like a bobblehead. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry. If you’re not ready you’re not ready.” Really? Aiden smiles down at me, and then presses his lips against my forehead. I think I’ve fallen into the

Twilight Zone. Did he really just give up that easily? It’s definitely not what I was expecting. “You’re not mad?” Aiden furrows his brow and sits up. “Why would you think I’d be mad, Laney?” Hmm…I don’t know. You’ve kind of got that asshole reputation going on. I shrug. “You’ve been with so many girls. I figured you’d be pissed.” The corner of Aiden’s lips moves up and he pulls me closer to him. “I would never make you do something you don’t want to. All the girls,” he rolls his eyes, “I’ve been with have given it to me. I’d never take that without them wanting to give it.” Damn. I wish I could rip the heavy pressure of guilt from my shoulders. A sick feeling starts to crawl up my throat, making me feel like throwing up in the back of his BMW. I give him a weak smile and pick at my thumbnail. “Thanks. I—I probably need to get home. I…I have homework.” Aiden brushes his hair out of his eyes and gives me the biggest smile. “Okay, I’ll take you home. Come on.”

Chapter Fifteen Laney “Why does it feel so good But hurt so bad? My mind keeps saying Run as fast as you can.” — Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida Slipping my feet into Heather’s death traps, I take an uneasy breath out. This week hasn’t been on my top favorite weeks of my life. First, I get caught making out with Lachlan on Dr. Phillips’ desk, then I let myself get carried away with Aiden. That is not in the plan. Heather hums along to some One Direction song, and I wish I had that life. The life with one boy who loves me, and I love him. Not a pretend boyfriend that I have to make appearances with, and turns out to be one of the sweetest guys ever. Or an ex-boyfriend that I can’t look at without seeing my past. My mistakes. I haven’t told Heather or Bethany what happened. I can’t. Bethany came over last night and had a plan for me to put Ex-lax in his drink. I said I didn’t want to do it and pretended to get a call from my mom. I’m sure that wasn’t the end of it though. Now I’m sitting on Heather’s bed, staring out into oblivion. “What’s the matter with you?” Heather asks from her desk.

I shrug. Heather shuts her laptop and sits across from me on my bed. Her hair is in a sloppy bun, her eyes wide and fingers intertwined. “Are you falling for Aiden?” I give her a puh-lease look. “No, I just—I feel bad for him. I don’t want to put that in his drink. I don’t want to lead him on anymore. I just want to stop.” Heather presses her lips together. “Laney, he is a manipulator. He is making you think he is good. It’s what they do.” I’m pretty sure she really thinks this but I’m surer that this has something to do with Bethany telling Todd that I coached her through their relationship. I know this. I know exactly how boys think, and I know when they’re playing me. I shake my head. “No, you didn’t see his face. He was so gentle. I—I know it’s hard to believe. But, he’s been hurt. I don’t know the story, but you heard his roommate. He does it to cover up his pain. I—I don’t want to do this to him. But I know Bethany will tell everyone, including Todd if I don’t. And to be honest I don’t want to hurt him anymore.” Heather sighs and comes to sit beside me. “If you don’t do it, it’s going to make him feel worse than having diarrhea.” I try not to laugh. “Gross.” She shrugs. “Just do it, then break it off next Monday. Then he won’t know you played him and you can go on with your life.” God. Vomit is rising in my throat when Bethany bursts into our room. She scans over us and frowns. “You’re

backing out aren’t you? What happened? You promised, Laney—” I hold my hand up for her to shut the hell up. “Bethany, this is the last prank. I’m breaking up with him Monday. He’s already lured in enough. And you have to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this, including Todd. You promised.” She twists her lips and nods. “Sure. And he seems like he is really starting to like you. It would probably be better this way.” For you. Sighing, I stand up and grab my wallet and keys. “I’m going to go wait outside for him. I need some fresh air.” I don’t feel a release until I’m out of the dorm and into the cool air. Taking a huge breath, I take a seat on the concrete steps in front of our building. I keep telling myself that it’s just a few more days but I still feel like crap. I hear the slight hum of Aiden’s Beemer and then he pulls up in front of me. He rolls down the window. “You ready?” I nod, grab my things, and get into the car. Ready as I’ll ever be. *** My head is sweating. Jeez. Aiden is talking about something, but I’m too busy wiping at the back of my neck to pay attention. “Laney.”

“Huh?” “We were just saying how beautiful the wedding was.” He gestures toward Savannah, who is standing there in her wedding dress. I hadn’t even realized she was there, let alone talking. I lean in and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Oh, yes, it was beautiful and so are you.” She smiles and grabs Aiden’s arm. “Mom wants a picture of us. Do you mind, Laney?” “Not at all,” I mumble. Aiden puts his drink down on the table behind us and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back really soon. Keep an eye on this for me.” Smiling weakly, I give him a lame thumbs up. He disappears behind a set of double doors. My fingers wrap around the bottle of Ex-lax in my blue jean jacket pocket.

God, I don’t want to do this. No one is paying attention to me. Grabbing his drink, I screw my eyes shut and pour a small amount into his drink.

That will definitely do it. “What are you doing?” Shit. I swing around and look up at Lachlan. His dark eyebrow is raised, his mouth pressed into a tight line. I fumble with my jacket pocket, making sure the bottle is shoved down into the depth of it. “What are you doing?” I ask, keeping my eyes glued to the floor.

Lachlan grunts. “What did you put in his drink?” What in the hell? I glare up at him. “None of your business. Leave me alone, Lachlan.” He chuckles, the sound making my stomach tighten. “Leave you alone? That’s not what you said in Dr. Phillips’ classroom.” Arrogant arsehole. Flipping him the bird, I turn my back on him. I can’t look at him now. He saw what I did. I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t. “Dance with me?” he whispers, his lips an inch away from my ear. “Please, luv.” No. I don’t need to dance with him. Last time I almost lost myself in him. That’s not possible now. I’m here with Aiden. Whether or not I’m pouring Ex-lax into his cup. “No.” Why is he asking me anyway; isn’t he here with that brunette bimbo? “Come on. One dance, and I’ll leave you alone. But, we both know you don’t want me to do that, luv.” “Go dance with your date.” A calloused hand wraps around my elbow and I’m turned toward him. He looks down at me through shaded eyes. “I want you to dance with me, not her.” Warmth spreads in-between my thighs. My damn hormones betraying me once again. “Lachlan—” “Hush,” he says, before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me out to the middle of the reception floor. A few more couples are dancing and a few fathers and daughters are dancing. When we get to the center, Lachlan turns me toward

him. One hand wraps around my own and the other one is on my hip. He smiles down at me. “See, I won’t bite, babe. Unless, you want me to.” Heat swarms my cheeks, but I look over his shoulder to keep from blushing harder. “So, I see you’re back with Aiden.” “What’s it to you?” I snap back. His grip tightens on my waist and he pulls me closer. “You know good and damn well what it matters to me. It never stopped mattering.” The wall around my heart threatens to crumble but I push back that feeling and keep my chin up. “Well, I see you brought your date. What’s her name? Whore?” Lachlan’s eyes widen but he laughs out loud. “Wow, I didn’t realize you cared that much, Lane. If it bothers you, I’m sure I can ditch her.” I bite my bottom lip and sigh. “So, are you going to tell me the real reason you’re dating him? Obviously it’s not because you’re into him. You wouldn’t have kissed me otherwise. You’re not that type of girl, Lane.” “You don’t know what type of girl I am anymore, Lachlan.” “I know you’re still the girl I loved in high school. You’re still the girl that I gave my all to. Remember our first kiss?” he whispers. “You were so nervous. I snuck us into the chemistry lab.” He laughs but it’s humorless. “I wanted you so bloody bad, luv. I didn’t want to pull my lips away

from yours. I wanted to devour you. Make you mine, forever. Your lips felt so soft, your breath minty from your gum.” His hand grips tighter around my waist, and my panties are soaking wet now. “Goddamn, I want you back, Lane. Please, let’s just forget what happened. We both made mistakes. I’m willing to forget about them if you are.” My heart is fluttering. How did this conversation take this drastic of a turn? We were just talking about his date and now we’re back to us. Back to the old us. The old damaged me. “No, Lachlan. No. I just can’t. Every time I look at you, all I see is…” I trail off, turning my head to keep the tears at bay. “Please. Just don’t.” He growls and pulls me so close every inch of us is touching. “Laney. I’m so sick of this bullshit game. I fucking love you. I always have. Please, let’s just start over.” Tears are building in my eyes. Jesus, I can’t believe this is happening. I refuse to cry in front of the entire wedding reception. “No, don’t you dare cry.” I try to pull away but he drags me back to him. “Tell me why you’re dating Aiden. Is it because you like him? Or are you trying to make me jealous? Because, luv, it’s fucking working. What did you put in his drink?” “It’s none of your business!” Lachlan growls and presses his lips against mine. In front of everyone. Jesus. It takes my entire being to push him away. I shake my head and start toward the door. “Oh, no you don’t.” Lachlan grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him, his green eyes dark and hungry. “Don’t

you dare run away. I’m so fucking sick of you running. Grow a pair and talk to me. Talk to me about it! I’m hurting just as much as you are. I can help you.” “No, you can’t!” I’m yelling now, my voice cracking from the lump growing in my throat. “Nothing can take back what I did. What you did. Now, please let go.” I snatch my arm away, giving me enough time to break through the double doors. I race down the hallway toward the Exit doors when I’m grabbed from behind and pulled through the closest door. Lachlan gently shoves me into the room and I glance around when the light comes on. We’re in a small office. A desk, a small loveseat, and a few potted plants and file cabinets are positioned around the room. His fists are closed tightly at his sides. His shirt is tight against his upper chest, and fits all the way down to his waist. I don’t move. I can’t seem to take my eyes off of him. I want to move forward, to taste him. To know him again. His eyes dart toward my lips. God, I want him to kiss me again. “Are you going to talk to me?” Slowly, I shake my head. I’m not ready. I can barely live with myself now. Talking to him about that will only make it worse. Make the memories, make the pain, come back to torment me. “Have it your way.” He takes two steps toward me, wraps an arm around my waist, and pulls me toward him. “I’ll just have to show you what you’ve been missing, luv. Hold on tight.” Before I know what he’s doing, he leans down and

takes my lips with his. My self-control must have been left in my dorm room, because I can’t help but kiss him back. His mouth molds to mind, marking his territory. He doesn’t know, but it was never anyone else’s. Always him. Always. He breaks his mouth from mine, trailing his lips down my neck. “I want all of you this time, Laney. Please, don’t shut me out.” His begging is making my heart ache. I never wanted to shut him out. I moan as he brings his lips back up to mine. He groans into my mouth and pushes me toward the small loveseat. “Wider,” he demands. I obey, opening my mouth wider, letting his tongue slid into my mouth. I moan, first in outrage from the hormones raking against my insides, then in helpless surrender as he finds my tongue. I remember Heather’s words: he fucked your mouth. And that is exactly what he is doing now. Marking me. Fucking me with his mouth. Christ. I grab his shirt and pull him closer to me. A low growl escapes his throat and he spreads my legs wider with his thigh, settling himself between the cradle of my legs. God. I can feel his cock hard against me. My own aching sex is throbbing. I want him so bad it hurts. I’m so hot I grab my dress and pull it over my head, quickly. Lachlan is staring down at me, his eyes taking in my body. My lacey bra and panties are tight and leave nothing to the imagination. “Fucking shit,” Lachlan growls, grabbing my hip and squeezing. “I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you like this. Only me. I want it to only be me,

luv.” I screw my eyes shut. “It’s only you. I haven’t…I mean, Aiden and I haven’t. We haven’t had sex.” A brief look of relief washes over his face, and it’s replaced with hunger. “God, you have no idea how excited I am to hear that.” Blood is boiling under my cheeks as he stares down at me. His eyes flicker to mine, before he dips his head and traces his tongue against the edge of my bra. I arch my back. The feel of his tongue warms me until I’m scorching underneath. “God, baby. Tell me you’ll leave him. Tell me you’re mine.” I cry out, not because I’ve always been his but because it hurts so much. It hurts to see him over me. To replay our memories. My eyes are starting to water when I hear a light rap of knuckles against the outside of the door. “Christ,” Lachlan says, jumping up. He grabs my dress and points toward the window. “It’s our only choice, luv. Come on.” “Not again,” I mumble. Lachlan pulls up the window and gestures for me to go first. The doorknob is wiggling again, harder this time. That flimsy door is going to pop open at any minute. This lights a fire under my ass, and I crawl onto the windowsill and shimmy my way through the window. I hear a slight chuckle behind me but I’m too worried about the door to give a damn that Lachlan is staring at my ass. I land with a loud ump and straighten myself up.

Despite Lachlan’s size, he slips through the window and lands so much more gracefully than me. Once he is standing upright, I hear the office door swing opened. Savannah is standing in the doorway, another woman at her side. She searches the room and her eyes land on the window. “Shit,” I mumble, running toward the back of the building. Lachlan is right behind me, my dress in his right fist. “Can I have that back?” Lachlan’s eyes move from the corner of the building to me, a hunger deep within them. “As soon as you tell me why you’re dating him.” Fuck. I don’t have time for this now. “Look, Lachlan. I will tell you whatever you want as long as you give me my dress back. In ten seconds Savannah is going to come around that corner and see me in my underwear and your shirt unbuttoned. I don’t want to deal with that right now. Please, hand it over.” Lachlan’s jaw clenches but he hands me my dress. I slip it on and fix my hair. Sighing, I slide against the brick wall. “Tell me.” Screwing my eyes shut, I shake my head. “It’s not what you think. I just—I’m so confused.” I hold my face in my hands and try not to cry. “This has gotten so out of control.” “What’s out of control? Tell me, I can help you.” Lachlan bends his knees, presses his palms on my shoulders, and demands I take my hands from my face. “Tell me, luv. I promise I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

I want to tell him. I want him to know I never liked Aiden. But, I don’t want him to know that I never liked Aiden. What kind of heartless monster would lead someone on with the goal of breaking his heart? I shake my head and stand up straight. “I need to get back in there. I don’t want him coming around here and seeing us.” Lachlan’s jaw clenches and he presses me against the wall. “Well, luv, I want a lot of things. But it seems I’m not getting them. Tell me and I’ll let you go.” “No,” I press my lips together. “I’m not. I won’t. Anger fills Lachlan’s face and he rips his hands away from me. “God,” he yells. “Stop running from me. I’m standing here for you. I want you!” My body is quivering. Lachlan’s eyes are wide, his hands out to his sides, his chest hard beneath his halfunbuttoned shirt. How can I walk away from him again? How did I let myself get this far away from reality? Why can’t I forgive myself? I just want a normal relationship. I want Lachlan how we used to be. I want him. But, I don’t deserve him. Tears are falling down my face now. I can’t help but let them run their course. Sobs are breaking from my throat and as much as it hurts to cry, it hurts worse to try and stop them. “I’m so sorry, Lachlan. I just—I can’t forgive myself. I don’t deserve you.” I know I’m being fucking stupid. But, I can’t make myself fall into him again. I’ll get sucked into him, love him, only to be reminded of my mistakes.

Reminded of my selfishness. I can’t. A single tear falls from his face, and my heart breaks into a million pieces. I feel them fall into oblivion. “Baby,” he whispers. “Please, you have to forgive yourself. I forgave you right away. Let me show you there is another way to live with this. I will pick up every piece of your heart and put them back together slowly. Give me a chance, please. I’ll take care of you, luv. Always.” Christ. A sob breaks from my throat and I try to hold myself up with my hands. “Lachlan—” “Lachlan? Laney?” Savannah is standing at the edge of the building, her brows furrowed. Her hands are intertwined in front of her. She’s changed from her wedding dress into a simple white summer dress. “Um, I was—I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was —” she trails off, looking between the two of us. “Do you two know each other? Why is your…why is your shirt unbuttoned?” “Damn it.” I press my lips into a hard straight line and try to catch my breath. “Savannah, I’m going to leave now. Aiden is most likely in the bathroom. I need you—can you tell him I’m going home?” She nods and bites her lip. I know she wants to say something, and I don’t blame her. I’m dating her cousin and I’m behind the building with another man. Lachlan growls and grabs my elbow. “This isn’t over, luv.” His whispers send chills through me. Snatching my arm away, I walk around the reception hall, not looking back.

My tears finally stop when I’m halfway home. I don’t think I can produce any more. I see Heather’s car pull up beside me. She gives me a pitying glare. “Get in.” I don’t ask how she knows I’m walking home, because I know that they saw everything. Well, at least heard it. I slide in and cross my ankles. “I don’t know what to do.” Heather is quiet for a few seconds, and I wait, watching the building blur into nothing. “You need to end it with Aiden. Then you need to grow a pair and stop running from Lachlan.” What. The. Fuck. “What?” She gives me a one-shouldered shrug, but doesn’t look me in the eye. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened between the two of you in high school but look around. We’re not in high school anymore. He obviously cares about you, and you’re pushing him away. He loves you. You love him. He is willing to forgive you for whatever monstrosity you think you’ve committed. Let him take care of you, luv.” She gives me a weak smile and then turns the radio up. I stare out the window, blank-faced the rest of the way home. I know Heather’s right. I know that I need to forgive myself. But how? I haven’t been able to talk about it since that night. Not to anyone. It’s been four years and I haven’t told a soul. “Bethany is pleased. One of her friends was at the wedding and said Aiden almost ran to the bathroom.”

I scoff and close my eyes. “Well, she got her wish. I’m going to break up with him this weekend or Monday. I can’t look at him anymore. I feel like shit. He may have been an asshole, but I don’t think he deserves to get his heartbroken. I should have never said yes.” Heather nods, but doesn’t say anything. There isn’t anything to say. When we get back to our dorm room, Heather leaves to see Todd. I know that’s another way of giving me my space. God knows I need it. I check my phone and I have several messages from Aiden. I prayed the entire way home that Savannah didn’t tell Aiden about Lachlan and me. I want to be the one to do it. He deserves to hear it from me. Not anyone else. Me. I send him a quick text, telling him I wasn’t feeling too well. Then I fall into a deep, dark sleep.

Chapter Sixteen Lachlan “But anyway I think you’re bionic And I don’t think you’re beautiful, I think you’re beyond it” — Lil' Wayne The restaurant is huge. The kitchen is any chef’s dream. Wide, stainless-steel cabinets, huge tile floors, pans hanging from hooks above every station. Anyone would have to be high to deny this opportunity. “You like?” she asks. I glance over at Cynthia. She is smiling at me, her clipboard close to her chest. She is my new manager. Her ideas for the place are great. I couldn’t ask for anything better. And the pay…damn. “I love,” I say, swiping my thumb over the corner of my mouth. “I’m moving into my apartment today. I’m all set. I just need to get my things shipped over here.” She nods and fixes her glasses on her slender nose. “We’re opening next weekend, Lachlan. Is that enough time?” I run my fingers through my hair. “Of course. It’s plenty of time. All I need to do is learn the menu this week.” She nods and pushes a stray hair behind her ear. “Right. It was such a pleasure meeting you. I tasted a bit of your Baked Alaska that Dr. Phillips brought by. Delicious.

The owner is thinking about adding it to the menu. It’s not Italian, but it’s sooo delicious.” She closes her eyes and I laugh. “Thank you, luv. I just…love to cook. I’ve always put it on the back burner, because my mum never really liked the idea. I’m from the outback. She thinks men should hold shovels and do manly work only.” I roll my eyes. She hides her laugh behind her hand. “I don’t think you’re lacking in the manly department, Lachlan.” I raise an eyebrow. Openly flirting? Isn’t there a rule against employees dating? “Why thank you, luv.” She blushes and moves her eyes toward her clipboard. Back to business. “Okay, we’ll see you this coming week. We’ll be in touch.” We say our goodbyes and I head toward the EXIT. The wind shutters over my face, making me smile. How did this even happen? I entered the contest to keep Lucas from begging. Now, I’ve won and I’m here to stay.

But why? I had always said I would never come back. My mum almost lost her composure when I told her I was moving back to Florida. She cried. She’s oversensitive. I knew why. I knew the exact moment I came to the conclusion I would stay. When I cornered Laney in the alley. My presence affecting her as much as she affected me. I would stay because I couldn’t bear to let her go again. “Hey, you going to daydream all day or are you going to get in the damn car?” I snap out of my daze and

glance over at Lucas. His car window is down and he is snapping his fingers at me. I roll my eyes and get into the passenger seat. “Well, how was it?” I laugh. “Fucking amazing. The kitchen is great. The restaurant in general is flawless. I can’t believe I’m getting the chance to do this. To cook. I’ve always done things my mum wanted me to, like a fucking kid. Now, it’s my turn. I’m gonna rock this shit.” “Yeah, buddy,” Lucas says. “So, I sent out all the invitations today. Via email and text.” I furrow my brow. “Invitations to what, exactly?” “Your celebration party. It’s tonight. We need to get your apartment set up and head back to my place. It’s going to be off the fucking chain, bro.” Christ. I close my eyes for the briefest of seconds and then open them back up. Lucas looks excited, and I don’t have the balls to let him down. “Great. I need to relax.” What I really need is to see her. Yesterday. Jesus, I almost had her. She almost let her walls down. She was crumbling, letting it out, when Savannah showed up. I clench my fists and look out the window. “Did you—did you invite Laney?” Lucas is quiet for a moment. “Yes, was I not supposed to? I sent her an email earlier today.” I sigh. “It’s fine. I want her there, even though I’m sure she won’t show up.” “She might. But, I’m not sure it’s that great of an idea

for her to come.” I glance over at him and frown. “Why the bloody hell not?” “Because, Savannah saw you two behind the building yesterday. She thinks you two are…I told her you dated in high school but nothing was going on now. She is cousins with Aiden. Her boyfriend. Do you remember him?” I scoff. “How could I forget the twit? And…” I trail off and scratch my neck. “I don’t think she likes him. She is always rolling her eyes, and avoiding him. Not to mention I think she slipped something in his drink yesterday.” Lucas lets out a loud laugh. “You mean that’s the reason why he was in the bathroom all afternoon? Why in the fuck would she do that to him? It doesn’t make any sense.” I nod. “I know. When I ask she says it’s complicated.” “It’s complicated so she puts Ex-Lax in his drink? Something’s fishy about that.” “Yep. But, don’t tell Savannah. I don’t want…I don’t want him getting mad at her when we’re not sure it’s anything.” Lucas pats my shoulder. “I would never do that, bro. Plus, you could easily whoop my ass.” I laugh. “At least you’re not in denial.” *** My place is nice. It’s on the east side of town in a nicer area. Lucas and I are bringing up the last boxes when his

cell phone rings. “Hello. Yeah, we’ll be back in a bit. We’re almost done. Right. Love you, too.” He shoves his phone back in his pocket. “Savannah. She is so scared you’re going to be late to your own party.” He rolls his eyes. Tossing my last box onto my sectional, I glance over the room. Once I get everything settled in, it’ll look great. Lucas drops his last box with a huff. “I need a cigarette. Want one?” I shake my head. “I’m going to hit the loo really quick.” I walk through the house admiring the walls, the large rooms, and the den off my bedroom. I’m backing my way into the bathroom, taking in my bed and TV, when I trip over something. “Bloody fuck.” My legs are draped over a box and everything in it has spilled out around me. Groaning, I stand and look down. My blood runs cold. The box. Her box. I know it’s fucking pussy of me to have it, but I couldn’t get rid of it. Not her stuff. My once stable legs give out and I sit down on my knees, looking down at the cloth sticking out from the box. The red fabric makes my chest tighten and my dick go hard. God, I hate that it still affects me. But, how could it not? It was our first kiss. The first time I felt her tight, soft body against me. The first time I knew I would never let her go. I guess I didn’t do too good of a job. She left and she wouldn’t come back. My brain brings the memory to the surface, daring

me to think back to that day. I have no choice but to fall into it. ***

The red, low-cut shirt hugged her curves tightly. Even at seventeen she had a killer shape. Petite, short, and God, that ass. She was leaning over the water fountain, getting something the drink. I’d already taken her out the weekend before, but was too chicken shit to kiss her. I called myself a gentlemen, but that’s not the real reason. The real reason was that I was chicken shit. “Hey,” I leaned down and whispered into her ear. She turned around and glanced up at me over her glasses. The thick frames looked fucking sexy as hell against her thin nose, blond hair, and green eyes. I had never laid eyes on anything that fucking beautiful in my entire life. “Hey,” she said, moving the strap of her bag up her shoulder. “I wanted to let you know I had a wonderful night on Friday. It was…fun. I mean—” I trailed off, scratching the back of my neck, “I had a nice night.” Her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink and she smiled. “Me, too. It was a lot of fun.” Nodding, I gave her a small smirk. The bell chimed in the hallway, sending all our classmates scurrying toward their classrooms.

She groaned and slid her glasses up her nose. “God, I don’t want to go to Math. I would rather drink the sweat from Johnny Frost’s socks.” I laughed. “That desperate, huh?” She nodded and bit her lower lip. Goddamm it, I wish I could do that for her. “Well, why don’t we skip class?” “Really?” she asked, not sure if she believed me or not. “Yep,” I shrugged one shoulder. “But we probably need to hurry before someone sees us.” “Where are we going to go?” I smiled down at her and offered her my hand. It fit so snugly into mine, her small fingers interlacing with my own. I led her toward the back chemistry lab. No one used it in the afternoons. I knew my chemistry teacher only had morning classes. I reached toward the lock and tugged on the handle. “It’s locked.” She frowned. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before I dropped down to my knees. Pulling a pick out of my pocket, I heard Laney laugh behind me. “Juvenile delinquent, are we?” I smiled and turned the pick until I heard the click. Scooting it open with my elbow, I gestured for her to go in. “I was a bit of a punk as a kid.” The room was dark, the windows shaded by blinds. Laney stayed close to me as we walked toward the shades

and lifted them. Sun shone through the windows, brightening it up enough to see. Her chest fell in relief. She walked around the room slowly, trailing a finger over the counter. “You’re in chemistry, right?” I nodded. “Yeah, I kind of like it.” She laughed. “Right. Well, you’re the only person I know that does.” Nodding, I moved closer to her. “That’s what I hear. It just comes easy to me, I guess. Like English does to you.” She slid onto one of the chairs and pulled on a strand of her blond hair. “And how do you know that? Are you following me?” “Would you think it’s creepy if I said yes?” Her eyes twinkled and she leaned over the counter, her breasts begging to be gazed at. “I may think it’s charming. Like that accent of yours.” My dick hardened in my jeans, and I moved, trying to distract her from the bulge clearly growing in my pants. “You like that, luv?” I asked, my voice dropping an octave. A hint of pink returned to her cheeks. She blushed and it made me even harder. I’d made my way to the chair beside her and leaned against it. She twisted toward me, one elbow resting beside her on the counter. “I love that, luv,” she said, her voice dripping with a fake Australian

accent. Goddamn. My entire body ached from her. I hadn’t even laid a hand on her yet and I felt like my bloody bones had melted. What a fucking pussy. “I’m glad. Is that what drew you to me?” A laugh escaped her throat. “Yes, because when you told me you could see my knickers that really made me swoon.” I belted out a laugh. “I could, luv. Well, the top of them at least. I thought it was hilarious. But my face took the punishment.” She giggled behind her hand. “I’m sorry. It just scared me. I didn’t know you—” I stopped her with a finger to her lips. “No need to apologize, luv. It was my mistake. I can be a dirty twit sometimes.” “Right,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “Because, you wouldn’t be as charming if you weren’t. I like your dirty twitty side.” I barked out a laugh. When I glanced up, she was staring at me through her laughter. My hormones were running wild, and if I looked at her tits again I was sure she’d slapped the shit out of me again. “Laney. I didn’t get a chance to do something on our date. I didn’t want to be pushy. But—” I trailed off. My mouth wouldn’t open and say what I wanted to say. She lifted an eyebrow and gestured for me to

continue. Even though I could see the pink underneath her cheeks. Fuck. Standing up, I leaned against the counter in front of her. Her bent knees brushed against my thighs. “I want to kiss you, luv. Can I kiss you?” Her green eyes widened, and a slight gasp exhaled from her lips. She didn’t answer, but only moved her eyes toward my lips. I took that as compliance, and I gripped her jaw, steadying her mouth. “God, you have the sexiest mouth I’ve ever seen.” A slight smile curled from the corner of her lips. “Well, why don’t you taste them and see how much you like them.” Holy bloody fuck. I leaned closer, relieved it took some of the pressure off of my growing cock. “I can already tell you, luv, I’m going to love it.” She closed the gap, resting her full, pink lips against my own. Her breath swarmed me, wrapping her scent into my bones. Christ. I couldn’t resist. Grabbing her jaw, I opened her mouth with my finger, letting my tongue into her mouth. She moaned, and it set me on edge. Her small fingers reached out and gripped my shirt, pulling me closer. Her back arched when I pushed between her legs, wrapping my arms around her waist. She sucked my tongue with her mouth. Gripping her waist, I turned her around and placed her on the table. This was not first kiss appropriate. I pushed the bullshit

away and devoured her mouth with my own. The scent of lavender filled my nose as I tangled my fingers in her long, blond hair. My dick was aching for release. I was going to have one great jack off when I got home. Forcing myself, I pulled away from her mouth, resting my forehead against hers. Her cheeks were flushed, her hands still interlaced with my hair. Her soft breath was gentle on my face, only making me want to take her places she would never come down from. “God,” she whispered. “That’s the best first kiss I’ve ever had.” Biting back a grin, I cocked an eyebrow. “I’m glad to say I agree. Maybe you should take me out to dinner first, next time.” She rolled her eyes, biting her bottom lip. “No, luv. I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It makes me want to do it myself.” “I don’t suggest that.” Spinning on my heel, I glanced over at my chemistry teacher. He had one hand on the doorknob, the other shoved down in his lab coat. Laney’s face turned pale. She grabbed her bag and held it to her chest. Shit. I gave him a small smile. “Hi, Mr. James. It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” He lifted an eyebrow and I swear I saw him holding back a smile. “It is. Better for some, I see.” He gestured toward Laney and rolled his eyes. “Get your asses back to

class, now.” He winked and left the room. Laney’s laugh echoed over the lab. She slid off the stool. “Ouch,” she said, grabbing at the back of her shirt. “Hold on, luv. Let me look.” The back of her red shirt had snagged on a piece of broken countertop. It ripped, showing her milky, smooth skin. “It’s torn.” She sighed. “Damn. I don’t have another shirt.” My eyes glanced over her lower back. Grabbing her shirt, I ripped until I had a piece of red shirt in my hands. “What the hell, Lachlan? That made it worse.” I smiled and fisted my shirt, bringing it over my head. Her eyes traveled down my white undershirt to the top of my jeans. “Here, luv. Put this on.” She watched me as she slid it on. I tucked the piece of her shirt in my jeans pocket. A small smile rose from the corner of her lips. “May I ask why you’re keeping that?” “Trophy. I finally got to kiss you. I have to remember it, luv.” The red fluttered back to her cheeks and she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Well, do I look okay?” My shirt swallowed her small body and it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. “You look bloody adorable.”

She barked out a laugh and grabbed her bag. “Hardly. But thanks for trying.” Smiling down at her, I ran my hand down her cheek. She watched my lips, my eyes, my chest rise and fall. I wanted her. More than wanted her. I needed her. All of her. She smiled, like she knew what she was doing to me. “One more kiss?” she whispered. One? I wanted thousands. Forever. All over her. Nodding, I bent my head and pressed my lips against hers. It felt even better than the time before. A loud pounding on the door broke us apart. “Out,” Mr. James yelled from the other side of the door. We both laughed and scurried out the door. *** “Dude, did you fall in the damn toilet?” I snapped back into the present. My eyes glanced over the box in front of me. Our first condom wrapper, our first movie ticket, even the bloody blanket from our first time shoved down into the box. I stagger to my feet, my hand clenched around the torn shirt. Lucas rounds the corner and his eyes go wide. “What the…” The burn in my chest thumps harder, not satisfied with the grief it’s caused me. “I…I tripped over the bloody box.” My voice is rising and I can hear it but I can’t stop it.

“It’s full of her shit…fuck.” I scream, slamming my fist against the bathroom wall. Lucas sighs, then pats my shoulder. “Lachlan, I’m sorry, bro. I don’t know what to say. She’s broken. She’s hurting. You’re the only one that can help her. Help her get over it. Make her talk.” Aggravated, I stand completely up and rub my eyes with my fists. “I’m going to get ready. I’ll be out in a bit.” Lucas opens his mouth, but slams it shut. He knows my bloody heart is breaking. She doesn’t know it, but I’m finished with the bullshit. She’s going to talk to me. And wherever she is, is where I’ll be.

Chapter Seventeen Laney “It’s not a cry you can hear at night, It’s not somebody that’s seen the light, It’s a cold and a broken hallelujah” — Rufus Wainwright To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: PARTAYYY!!! Hello Party People! There is a party at my house tonight. If you don’t know the address text me. We’re celebrating Lachlan Hems’ win at the Cook Off. He’s moving back, people. Let’s welcome him back to Jacksonville with love! Drinks are welcomed. See you at nine! Thanks, Lucas My finger hovers over the delete button. I don’t need to go to this. I don’t even know why Lucas thought to send it to me. Sighing, I close out of my email and throw my hands over my face. This has been the biggest bunch of shit I’ve ever been a part of. My phone chimes and I pull it out. Aiden: Can I come over?

My gut wrenches. He’s been texting me all day. I’m supposed to break up with him and I know I need to go ahead and do it. He’ll live and will never know that I was playing him the entire time. Me: Give me ten minutes. Aiden: Be there in eleven.

Shoving my phone into my jeans pocket, I stand and straighten up my room. Heather is gone with Todd to some away football game. I’m not telling Bethany anything. My camera necklace is locked in my desk drawer and not coming out for this. No one deserves anyone to see that look on their face. The face of your heart-breaking, of someone stomping all over it. Eleven minutes later, a knock thumps on my door. My hands are sweating and my heart is jackhammering in my chest. It’s now or never, Laney. I swing the door open and Aiden is staring down at me, a gorgeous smile on his lips. “Can I come in?” Nodding, I open the door wider, allowing him to brush by me. His eyes search over the room, taking in everything. “You’ve really made the place your own. Why haven’t I been in here before?” He touches my desk, runs his fingers along my bed. “I guess we’ve always gone to your place,” I say, lamely, closing the door behind me. “So, what’s up?” Aiden’s attention darts back to me. “You left yesterday. Savannah said…” he trails off. Fuck, she told. “Aiden listen—”

“No, let me finish. She said she saw you crying. Are you okay? Do you need to talk to me about something?” He steps forward, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close. “I’m here for you, baby. As long as you’ll have me. I’ve never met a girl that has been so distant. It’s been weeks and I haven’t slept with you.” I widen my eyes. “I’m not pressuring you. I’m saying that I’ve never stayed this long without sex. And…it’s nice. Ya know, it’s nice.” God. She didn’t tell? I was almost hoping she had. It would have saved me the torture. My throat is on fire. I need to tell. I have to tell him. “Aiden,” I chock out. “Look, I really need to tell you something—” He presses his lips to mine, silencing my plea. Christ. He grips my hair and gently pulls, making my stomach flip. “I just want you to know we don’t have to talk about it now. I actually have to run into town. Maybe you’re up for going out tonight?” He pushes his blond hair from his big, brown eyes. I nod. “Sure, what time?” “Nine. I’ll pick you up then. I just…I want to spend some alone time with you. I want to get to know you better.” My chest swells, and the guilt fills my lungs. I let him kiss me, and watch him walk out of my room. Tonight. I have to tell him tonight. Just do it. Dropping to the floor, I curl my knees against my chest. I deserve a pity moment, or two. ***

“I thought we were going out?” I screech. Aiden swerves into Lucas’s apartment complex. No. No. No! Not here! Please! “We are. I thought we could go relax. Have fun, make out in someone’s bedroom, drink… just have a good time.” My hands are clenched into fists on my thighs. Anywhere but here. “Aiden, I don’t know if I want to come here. I mean…I did kind of ruin Savannah’s wedding twice. Maybe we could go down to The Loft. How about that?” Aiden frowns, reaches over, and squeezes my hand. “I got an invite today from Lucas. I’m supporting my cousin and her friends. Even if the Australian asshole is going to be here.” He scoffs. “Can we go in for a bit and then we can leave? I swear Savannah isn’t mad at you, baby. She adores you.” Yeah the fuck right. I was basically caught with Lachlan. I’ve cheated on her cousin, well, she thinks that. “Aiden—” “Please, just for a little bit. We’ll leave if you feel uncomfortable.” A sigh escapes my throat, but I mask it as a cough. “For just a little bit, Aiden. You swear? As soon as I’m uncomfortable, we leave?” Kissing my cheek, he reaches over and opens my door for me. My legs are shaky when I step out of the Beemer. The cool air slides against my skin, popping goose bumps along my arm. Aiden’s arm snakes around my waist, and he pulls

me into his side. “Ready?” Aiden helps me up the steps in my heels. I shouldn’t have worn them. I’m probably going to be running out of the party, like always, in ten minutes. But, on the other hand, I may need them for a weapon. If I break up with Aiden sooner rather than later, I may have to fight him off. I roll my eyes. I’m jumping to conclusions. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, and worrying isn’t going to make it better. The music echoes down the hallway as we get closer to the door. Alcohol swarms my nose when Aiden pushes the door opened. The music is thumping from the speakers, people are scattered around. Their dining room table has been transformed into a beer pong table. Several fraternity guys from school are hooting around it, cheering an almost topless girl to chug the rest of her beer. When my eyes adjust to the light in the living room, I see him. He is sitting on the loveseat, hands outstretched behind him. The brunette from the Cook Off is snuggled into his arm. Red flashes over me, but I push it down my throat. I’m not here for him. And, obviously, he isn’t here for me. “There’s Savannah, let’s go say hi.” Savannah is sitting on Lucas’s lap, who is sitting on the couch across from Lachlan. Aiden pulls me alongside of him until we’re standing in the living room. “Savannah,” he says. Savannah jumps up and wraps him in a hug. “I’m so glad you could make it.” Her eyes drag to me, and I see her size me up. She didn’t tell, but that doesn’t mean she

doesn’t care. She knows. I can see it. “Hi, Laney,” she says before pulling me into a soft hug. Is that pity in her eyes?

Does she know? I mumble my hello under my breath and keep my eyes focused on the floor. Aiden’s hand has dropped down to my lower hip, his palm almost cupping my ass. When did

he get a drink? The heat from Lachlan’s glare is on the side of my face. I feel it, it’s hot, scorching, even. My mouth is dry, bone dry. I don’t want to be here. I want to go back and crawl into my bed. I don’t know how long I’ve stood here, waiting for an out. Aiden’s on his second cup of beer and I smell it on his breath. When I finally get the nerve to glance up, Lachlan is staring at me. His light green eyes dare me to look away. He knows I can’t. He knows I want him. Just like he wants me. The brunette starts to tug on his arm, but he doesn’t move. Eyes fixated on mine. Aiden’s hot breath on my neck brings me back to reality. “Let’s dance, baby. Come down with me, please?” He’s slurring his words. The heaviness of his weight is making me nearly fall over. “You’re getting a little tipsy, Aiden. Maybe we should slow down on the drinks, huh? You do have to drive me home.” He laughs, and pushes more weight on me. “Puhlease, baby. We can crash here tonight. Let’s get drunk and dance. I want you to let go with me. You’re so guarded.”

Do you blame me? Straightening him the best I can, I lead him toward the couch. Savannah grumbles when he lands, hard, beside her. “I’m going to the bathroom. Stay here, okay.” I turn on my heel, leaving Aiden mumbling incoherently. Pushing my way through the swaying bodies, I lock myself in the bathroom. A weight is lifted off of my shoulder. I pull my cell from the short, blue jeans jacket and dial Heather’s number. She picks up on the third ring. “Where are you? I came home and you’re gone.” “At Lucas’s house.” Silence. “Who is Lucas?” “Lachlan’s best friend. Aiden’s cousin Savannah’s husband. They’re having a party for Lachlan. I was coming to break up with Aiden, but he pulled me here. Now he’s drunk and I want to come home. I can’t do this. I feel like my throat is closing up.” I hear Heather’s car keys in the background. “Where are you at?” “Duncan Street. It’s the apartments close by that little store you like on the corner.” “Yep, know exactly where that is. It’ll take me about twenty minutes to get there. Especially with the traffic. Will you be okay until then?” I nod vigorously into the phone. “Yes. Call me when you get here. I’m going to stay in the bathroom.” Sliding down against the counter, I hide my face in my palms. The cool tile floor is Heaven against the burning

skin of my legs. Standing up, I take a small cup from the cabinet, and fill it up. I down it, not caring that the bathroom water is nasty. I need to cool down. A slight thump on the door makes me jump. “Someone is in here. I’m sick.” Which is the truth. I feel like barfing all over the place. “Let me in,” Aiden slurs, pounding harder. Growling, I open the door a small fraction, enough for him to get inside. He staggers in, slumping over the cabinet. “Baby, where did you go-gooo,” he whines, gripping my hips and bringing me toward him. I feel his erection against my stomach. No. Nope. Not going to happen. “Aiden, you’re fucking drunk. Shit-faced. I need you to stay here tonight. Heather is coming to get me.” “No,” he yells, bringing his hot mouth down to my neck. “You taste too fucking sweet,” he mumbles. “Please, let me have you.” Grabbing his wrist, I try to remove his hands, but he tightens his hold. “Aiden,” I warn. “No, you’re not going anywhere. You’re mine. I want you. I need you, Laney. You’re so good for me. You’re so warm, nice, funny…sexy as fuck. Please, let me take you back to my dorm. I’ll be gentle.”

What. The. Fuck. If he think I’m going anywhere with him drunk as a skunk, he must be more wasted than I thought.

“Aiden,” I drop my voice, hoping he hears the plea in it. “I don’t want to. I need to go home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Let’s go get Savannah, okay?” He groans and grips my ass, pushing me around until I’m trapped between him and the counter. Oh, no. His eyes are glazed over, his lips spreading into a smile. He is so drunk. Too drunk. “Aiden,” I whisper. “I need you to let me go. I’ll see you tomorrow when you’re sober.” He chuckles, bringing his fingers to my hair. “I always thought you were so hot. But, you never seemed interested. Then, that night at the club, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you…and that ass. Damn, girl. Why are you doing this to me? I want you so bad.” He presses his erection harder into my stomach. “Feel that? Please, I’m begging. Let me in.” Pushing against his chest, he holds me closer. “No, you’re not leaving this room,” he slurs, his voice rising. “I want to feel you.” He’s really drunk. Sliding my hands up his shoulders, he gives me a grin. I wait until his mouth is on my neck before I push with all my might. He stumbles into the bathroom wall, letting out a loud grunt. “Damn, Laney. Fuck.” He seems a little more coherent now, but I can still see him sway a bit. I’m halfway out the door when I’m pulled back in. No. No! “Come on, this doesn’t have to be hard. Just let me have you. I’ll keep you safe. Keep you with me.” “No, Aiden, please.” I shove my elbow back into his

side, and he lets out a grunt. My heart rate is speeding up. God, no. This can’t be happening. Kicking and yanking at him, I beg him to let me go. “Aiden, just sober up, please.” He bites my neck, gently, and moans. The alcohol on his breath is heavy, scorching my nose. The spot between my breasts is bare; the necklace with the camera is tucked tightly in my desk drawer at home. I screw my eyes shut and kick at his shin. I’m helplessly fighting him when the door swings opened. My entire being lights on fire. Lachlan’s face is calm, but I see the tightness in his jaw. “Let her go, you bloody twit.” Aiden barks out a laugh. “Wrong door, mate. You need to go on. I’m trying to have a private session with my girlfriend.” Aiden slurs his voice in a terrible mock accent. Tears are scorching my eyes, and I know Lachlan sees them. “Is that right, mate?” Lachlan steps forward and grips my arm, slinging me into the hallway. I bump into a guy and beer soaks my shirt. I don’t care. Before I can get all the way around, Lachlan has pushed Aiden from the bathroom, past me, and into the living room. It isn’t long before the entire party is staring at them. Lachlan’s fists tighten at his sides and he throws one into the side of Aiden’s face. The crunch makes my stomach hurt. “Lachlan,” I say, pushing through the people. “He’s drunk. Just stop.” Another fist to his jaw. Blood is running from his lip and eyebrow. He’s still sobering up, but it’s

coming quicker. Aiden stumbles and throws a pathetic punch at Lachlan. Someone grabs me around the waist and keeps me from running toward them. I’m yelling, beating at the person’s arm. When he releases me, Lucas walks out from around me and grabs Lachlan’s hands, holding him back. “Stop, Lachlan. He’s had enough. He’s fucking drunk.” Lachlan wiggles and tries to get free, his eyes boring into Aiden’s. “I don’t bloody care. Let me go, I’m going to beat his bloody arse.” “You already have. Just drop it.” Aiden staggers up, eyes searching the room. “I want to know what the fuck is going on!” he screams. “This guy attacked me. What is going on?” My mouth goes dry, a shiver of fear riding along my skin. Lachlan turns toward me and lifts an eyebrow. “I would love to know that, too, luv. Tell us, what the fuck is going on? Tell him the truth.” Oh, God. My entire body is shivering. A pain strikes my chest. “I kissed Lachlan,” I say, knowing that’s not even breaking the surface of the truth. Aiden’s face is suddenly sober. All trace of drunkenness gone. “I used to date him in high school. It—it just happened.” Aiden swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Okay, we can talk about this later. Come on, let’s go home.”

I shake my head quickly. “No, there is more. I—” “You fucked him?” Aiden is screaming, his fists clenched at his sides. He doesn’t dare move, I see it. He’s scared of Lachlan. “No,” I choke out. “I…can we go somewhere else to talk?” He is pacing, hands twisted into his blond hair. His strong shoulders look fragile. “No, tell me right now. Right. Fucking. Now.” Anger is rising in my throat. I shove my finger at him. “I went out with you on a bet. You screwed my friend Bethany and ignored her. She wanted to get you back and I told her it was too late. She’d already given it up. Then we made a deal that night at the club. I’d date you and break your heart.” I’m yelling and I hadn’t realized it. The entire party is quiet. A pen drop would have comforted me. Aiden grips his hair and a loud laugh rips from his throat. “A bet? You went out with me for a bet?” I nod. “Then Lachlan showed up…and…it’s fucked up, I know! I told her I didn’t want to do it and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry! She cried over you! You didn’t even remember her name. It hurt me to see her hurt. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” “But you did!” “Yes, I did! I’m sorry. I wanted to stop but she threatened to tell you. I didn’t want to see that look on your face. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I already had.” Aiden straightened his shoulders. His glare makes me want to crawl into a hole and lose myself in it. “Well,

congratulations. You fucking did it. You broke my heart.” He turns on his heel and slams the door. It rattles the picture frames on the wall. Every eye is on me. No one says anything for a few moments. Silence. Torture. Guilt is burying me alive. “Get out,” Lachlan whispers. No one moves. “Everyone get your arses out of here. Now!” Like cops were pounding on the door, everyone scrams around until the entire room is empty, besides Savannah, Lucas, Lachlan, and me. “Lachlan, I—” “Stop. Can you two give us a minute?” Lachlan asks. Savannah grabs her coat and Lucas’s hand. Lucas is staring at me. My friend from high school. Our friend from high school. I can see the sadness in his eyes. He is disappointed. I grip my knees and try to catch my breath. The silence is tearing at me. I hear the door shut behind Savannah and Lucas a few seconds later. “You dated him for a bet?” Lachlan asks. I don’t answer. It’s rhetorical, I’m sure. I keep my eyes down at the floor. The smooth wood beneath me. “What happened to you?” His voice rises. “You were never like this in high school. Never.” Shaking, I glance up at him. His eyes are orbs. “I—I was sick of seeing him fuck girls and break their hearts.” “So you made him feel the same pain those girls felt.” God, it sounds so sick. A tear slides down my cheek and hits the floor. “Yes.”

“You feel better about yourself now?” His voice is closer, the heat from his body close. “No.” A deep laugh slips through his lips. “Laney, you’ve got to let it out. You’ve held it in for years. Say it.” I don’t. Biting my lip, I screw my eyes shut. I can’t take the chance of falling into his eyes like I had in the past. “Laney,” his voice is closer. “Talk to me. We both went through this, you don’t have to keep it in. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.” A sob breaks from my throat, sending pain, guilt, and torment in my lungs. “No!” I scream, shoving back from him. “I did it. I can’t forgive myself. I was so fucking selfish. I hate myself.” Vomit is rising from my stomach. The words are there…I want to say them so bad. “Talk. Say it. Say it out loud.” A scream breaks from my lips and I fall onto the floor. “I aborted our baby. I killed it! Just kill me,” I cry. “Just take my life and give his back.” I’m shaking, my body shivering from pain. Guilt. An emotion that will eat you from the inside out until you’re a shell of the person you used to be. Lachlan reaches out and wraps an arm around me. “No,” I whisper. “I can’t. I see what I wanted our life to be when I look at you. I wanted to keep it, but I was too fucking selfish. I abandoned you and him. I left you sitting there, hands cupping your face. You begged me to keep him.” Another sob breaks from my chest. “Please, just take

me instead.” Lachlan’s arms are trying to pull me up but my legs are trembling, my body on fire. I haven’t told anyone this. Only Lachlan. Not Heather. Not my mom. The day threatens to break through my guarded door. The door I shoved it behind. Lachlan is cradling me in his arms, holding me tight. I don’t deserve it. My mother once told me that a heart can’t be loved unless it knows it deserves it. I don’t. Pushing away from his arms, I stand on wobbling legs. My eyes lock on his for the first time. Tears are pouring down his face. I caused this pain. I caused the heartache in his chest. Me. Wiping my tears, I shake when I hear my phone ring. Heather is on the other end. I mumble something into the phone and shove it back into my pocket. “I’m sorry, Lachlan. I have to go.” “What? No, luv.” Standing up now, he presses his palm against my cheek. “Stay with me, Lane. Stay with me.” Fighting back the ache, I shake my head. “I can’t. I’ve hurt you so much, I don’t want to anymore. I’m sorry for my mistakes. I will hate myself every day from here on out because of it. I took something so precious away from both of us. I don’t deserve your love, Lachlan.” His eyes widen, and he grips my shoulders, shaking me slightly. “No, don’t you dare close up. Don’t you bloody dare. I want you. I always have. I never stopped thinking about you.”

“Or him,” I mumble. “I caused you that heartache. You asked me not to and I did it anyway. I aborted our baby.” It feels so foreign on my tongue. “No. I’ve forgiven you. You were seventeen and scared. You made a mistake. I’ve forgiven you, please forgive yourself or it will eat you alive.” “I have to go.” I run from the room, unable to look back. I feel Lachlan on my heels, his cries screaming down my neck. I don’t give him a chance to answer. Because I don’t deserve it. I run and don’t stop.

Chapter Eighteen Lachlan “On my knees, I’ll ask Last chance for one last dance” — Nickleback The place is bloody packed. When Cynthia said there was quite a buzz about this place, I didn’t realize it would be this much of one. The dining area is overflowing. People are on the waiting list for up to an hour. My palms are sweaty as I toss some pepper into the noodles. “You’re doing great, chef,” Cynthia says from behind me. I glance over my shoulder and give her an easy smile. “Don’t you have to say that, luv?” She giggles and nods. “Sure, but I’m telling the truth. The customers are bragging on you already. They’re loving it.” A smile rises from the corner of my mouth. I can’t believe I’m the head chef here. I’d always wanted it, yet it always seemed so out of reach. Cynthia places her hands on my shoulder. “You should go say hi to your guests. I’m sure the others can take care of this.” Glancing around, I see several other workers working hard. They’re all great to work with and actually care about the food. Wiping my hands, I shove my towel into my shirt pocket and snatch the hat from my head. “I think that’s a great idea. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Nerves swarm my body, but I push them back down.

Stop being a pussy. Swinging the double doors opened, I stand looking out at all of the guests. I had been sneaking peeks all night through the window but seeing it like this…wow. I head for the first table and thank them for coming. Everyone is splendid. I’m heading toward the balcony when I hear her laugh. So charismatic. So lovely. My chest throbs with pain. She hasn’t answered my calls since that night. Finally admitting out loud what she had done, I even felt the weight lift from her shoulders. She had been so sad that day. So, broken. ***

I nuzzled her neck, trying to get a response out of her. She only looked into the distance, her feet hanging from the tailgate of my dad’s old pickup. “Laney, what’s wrong, luv? You sick? Want to go home?” She shook her head, blond hair blowing in the cool wind. Half of it was pulled from her face, but the rest lay against her back. I loved it that way. Smooth, and long, yet I could still see her bright green eyes. “I’m fine. I just…” she trailed off, looking out at the forest. It’s the same side of the river I took her for our first time. The same spot. “Just what? You can tell me, Laney.”

A tear slid down her face, falling into her lap. Her fingers were shaking against my thighs. I wanted to beat the fuck out of anything that made her so scared. So frightened. I just didn’t realize I had played a part in it. “I’m pregnant.” My jaw dropped. Black threatened to take over my eyes. Pregnant? How? Well, fuck, I knew how. I just…we had worn protection. Each time. No, pregnant? “Laney, I—” Her bottom lip trembled and I reached for her. She moved away, off of the tailgate and onto the ground. “I can’t do this. I’m seventeen. You promised we would be okay. That the condom wouldn’t break. I can’t…” “Luv, I would never leave you to do this alone. Never. I would…I will be there for you…for our baby. Are you sure? Have you been to the doctor? I…I didn’t realize it had broken.” She nodded. “I’m pregnant. I’m late, I’ve taken two tests and I went to the Health Clinic. I couldn’t go to my doctor; I was scared they’d tell my parents.” “You haven’t told your parents, Laney? You have to tell your mom. She can help you. You’ll need to go to monthly visits.” “No,” she shouted. “I’m not doing any of that. I’m… going to get an abortion.” Abortion. My heart stood still in my chest. “You can’t be serious…I thought…I thought you didn’t believe in

them?” She wipes her eyes, her make-up covering her cheeks. “I have to. I’m going to California to paint, Lachlan. I can’t go with a baby. Who’d watch it? How would I pay for the milk? The food, clothes, diapers?” “We could do it together, Laney. We talked about having kids in the future, right? We can start early. Get a place together. We’ll figure it out, you don’t have to abort our…baby. Luv, please talk to me.” She started to shake, her entire body on the verge of breakdown. I saw it in her eyes. The fear. The cries. The inability to control the situation. “No, I’ve already set up the appointment.” “Without asking me?” My breath started to come in harder gasps. “You were just going to do it, without asking me.” “I have to, Lachlan. I have to do this.” I racked my hands through my hair and hopped off of the tailgate. “How? You’re not eighteen yet, you’ll need your mother’s permission.” She pulled out a piece of paper from her jeans pocket. “It’s called a judicial bypass. A judge grants you permission to do it without an adult present. It’s the only way.” I glanced down at the paper in my hands, trembling as I tried to read. Our baby. Gone. Never going to be seen. “No, baby,” I choke on the words. “Please, I want to

be here for you.” A scream ripped from her throat, echoing against the bridge walls nearby. “Lachlan, I have to do it. I’m scared. I’m too young. I can’t have this baby. What would I do? Tears were pouring from my eyes now. I didn’t give a fuck. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and hold her there forever. Protect her from her fears. “Please, baby.” I grabbed her waist, falling to my knees. “Please. Let’s just talk about this. You don’t have to be scared. You don’t have to be afraid, luv. I’ll be here to help you through it.” I sobbed like a baby, and slowly crawled up to my feet, to cup her face with my hands. Sobs, tears, and heartache were written on her face. She shook her head, turned and, for what I thought was the last time, ran away from me. *** Applauding brought me back to the present. Everyone in the room is standing, clapping. I glance over my shoulder and Cynthia is standing behind me, gesturing for me to take a bow. Oh, they’re bloody applauding for me. I smile and give a modest bow, and everyone goes back to their dinner. My eyes snap back to Laney’s. This time she is staring at me, a smile rising from the corner of her lips. Unable to stop myself, I walk over to her table. Her friend is

sitting in front of her. I can tell she’s trying not to smile. “Ladies. Who is your friend, Laney?” “Heather,” Laney says lightly, taking a huge mouthful of food. I hear her moan under her breath but she tries to hide it with her drink. “Nice to meet you. You must be Lachlan.” I nod and take her hand. “You two enjoying the dinner tonight?” Heather gives me two thumbs up. “It’s fucking great. Excuse the language. But, yes, you deserved to win that contest. But, I knew that. Laney told me so.” Laney shoots daggers at Heather before glancing up at me for the first time. Her dark green eyes are darker than normal. Dark bags line underneath her eyes. She’s been crying. A lot. It’s been an entire week since the party. She’s cried every night, I see it on her. In her eyes. “I’m glad she thinks so.” Laney darts her eyes back toward her food, biting her lip and twiddling her fork. “So, you’re staying in Florida, huh? You’re not going to miss Australia?” Heather asks over her food. “No,” I glance toward Laney, “it seems I have unfinished business here. I plan to stay for a long time. Especially, if everything works out with that said business.” Laney’s cheeks are red. Her ears, too. I smile and give both of them a short nod. “Come back and see us, ladies. It was a pleasure having you here. And Laney?” She forces her eyes up and stares at me over her glasses. “Yes?”

“I never left.” *** My first night is over. Leaning against the countertop, I peel the chef’s jacket off, tossing it to the side. I smell like basil and garlic. Stretching my neck, I realize how tired I am. I stayed up and studied all bloody weekend. My eyes hurt from straining. Now that I have the menu down, everything is falling into place. All my worries have drifted away. Grabbing my keys, I walk toward the EXIT door when I hear a soft knock against the front entrance. “We’re closed, mate,” I say to the knock. Another three thuds ring against my ears. Bloody hell. Striding toward the doors, I stop dead in my tracks. Laney is standing on the other side, a coat tucked neatly against her bent elbow. Her blond hair is long, blowing in the wind. And…bloody fuck if her outfit isn’t stuck to her body. She gives me a small wave, and the worry crease in her eyebrows shows me she doesn’t think I’m going to unlock the door. If only I couldn’t. Stepping forward, I fumble with the key and let her and a gust of cool wind in. She shivers, and keeps her back to me. I’m staring at her back like a bloody twit, but I don’t move. I know her. She needs to do this on her own. Turning, she glances up at me. Her tongue darts out, tracing a line against the fullness. “Lachlan…I’m sorry.” Sorry. For what? She’s already apologized. I crease

my brow and shrug one shoulder. “For what, luv?” Pain crosses over her face. I want to reach out and stop it but I don’t move. I keep my hands shoved down into the depths of my jeans. “For everything. For the…” she swallows hard, “abortion. For leaving you. For denying you the right to…at least have an opinion. I just did it. I don’t know…I was childish, selfish…and a child. A child that got caught up in something that could have happened to anyone. I’m sorry for blocking you out. I’ve always wanted you. You. No one else. Not Aiden…not anyone. It’s been hell for me. To see you. Here. So close.” She screws her eyes shut and bites her bottom lip. Heat swarms my chest. I’ve waited for her to say this for years. To call me and tell me. To fly down under to see me. But, now that it’s finally here, I can’t make myself move. I’ve replayed this in my head for so many nights. Weeks. Years. I’ve known what I would do when I saw her again. Now I’m sitting here like a pussy, not moving, not breathing. Laney’s eyes flutter open and she shrugs. “I don’t deserve your love, Lachlan. I don’t. I know that. You know that. But, I’m asking for one chance. One chance to show you how sorry I am. If you’re not interested, I’ll walk away right now. I won’t ever bother you again. I promise.” A flicker of heat lights over me and my brain starts to work again. Stepping forward, I look down at her. Her glasses are pushed high on her tiny nose, hiding her dark, green eyes. The flush on her cheeks makes my body hum. “Laney.” I trail a finger against the side of her cheek down until I cup her chin. “Have you forgiven yourself?”

A cry escapes her lips and tears fall down her cheek. “Yes. I—I have.” A smile rides along my lip. I dip my head low and taste the skin of her ear. A moan slips through her lips, causing my dick to protest against my jeans. “Do you love me, luv?” A breathy sigh. “Yes.” My hormones are burning inside of me. Every cell in my body feels like it’s on fire. “Say it.” Trembling, she licks her lips. “I love you, Lachlan.” Groaning, I close my eyes. Fire is scorching me, edging me toward her. “Do you want me, Laney? Do you want me again?” “I never stopped.” My self-control rages out of me and disappears somewhere beyond my vision. “Goddamn,” I whisper, cupping her face. “I can’t express to you how much I’ve missed you.” Without warning, I press my mouth against hers. Her soft, delicious lips offer me access right away. Goddamn it. Gripping her hips, I holster her up onto my hips. Her long legs wrap around my waist, squeezing herself to me. Placing her on the counter, she gasped her mouth away from mine. “Lachlan, as much as I want this. Do you think we should do this here?” I glance around. “Damn it, luv.” I chuckle. “Let’s go to my apartment. It’s not ready yet, but it’s got a bed.” Red swarms her cheeks but her eyes darken. “Let’s go.”

***

Laney Holy fuck, this is happening. I’m trailing behind Lachlan as he zooms between cars toward his apartment. My radio is up loud, but I’m shaking too bad to care. My entire body is on fire. His touch. His arms. Lips. It was so much and not enough. I want him so badly it hurts. Lachlan eases Lucas’s car into a parking lot on the right. It’s a nice part of town. His taillights guide me into a parking space close to the door. Lachlan is out of the car and to my window in seconds. Reaching down, he scoops me out of the car and into a baby hold against his chest. I laugh as he runs toward his door. Swinging my feet down, he unlocks it and throws it open. My back is pressed against the back of the door before my eyes adjust to the darkness. As he leans on me, my body is aware of every single place we touch. My knees. Hips. Chest. Lips. They’re igniting under my skin like flares. His lips are warm, firm, and when he slides his tongue against my bottom lip, I grant him access. His tongue dives into my mouth, sliding against the roof, with my tongue, and against my lips. All the while, his hands travel in the opposite direction, one large, flat palm cupping my breast. My sex aches at the touch, and I arch my back

into him. He lowers his lips to my ear, sending chills down to my toes. “Goddamn it, luv. I’ve waited for this moment. To feel you against me again.” Before I can respond, he grips my upper arm and pulls from me. Leaving me breathing hard and wanting him. I don’t ask questions as he guides me through the cluttered apartment. He wasn’t lying; his bed is one of the only things up. I’m thankful. Shutting the bedroom door behind him, he stands in front of me. The ridges in his arms strain as he breathes harder, his chest rising and falling quickly. “Take your clothes off, luv.” Blood heats my cheeks. His eyes are still, he is obviously not joking. I haven’t been naked in front of a guy since him. Only him. Biting my lip, I close my eyes for the briefest moment. Licking my lip, I glance up at him. His light green eyes are bright against his dark, black hair. His tongue darts against his lip, causing my sex to ache. Christ. Reaching up, I grab the edge of my shirt and pull. I’m mentally thanking Heather for making me wear my lacey bra and panty. Hungry eyes roam over me, and his hand twitches. He wants to touch me. God, I want him

to. Taking a large breath, I gently guide my jeans down my legs until both items are puddles of fabric beside my feet. Lachlan’s eyes stroll down my body, and slowly back up to the top. He growls and storms toward me. His breath at my ear, he slides his tongue against

the curve, stopping when he takes the fleshly lobe between his teeth. Before I know it, he’s carrying me toward the bed. I land in the soft covers, and relax. Lying down slowly on top of me, his lips play over mine. “Are you comfortable, luv?” “Yes,” I say weakly. “Lachlan…it’s been a while.” He stiffens. “I mean…I haven’t since senior year.” His eyes widen and he snaps his head back to get a better look at me. “What? You mean…you haven’t been with anyone since me? Since senior year?” Swallowing, I shake my head slowly. “Christ, Laney,” he presses his forehead against mine. “Do you want me to stop now?” “No,” I whisper. “Thank God.” He leans back down, plunging his tongue into my mouth as I dig my hands into his hard biceps. Stroking his tongue with mine, I suck it harder into my mouth. A low grown rumbles from his chest, causing me to wrap my foot around his ankle and pull. Agitation flutters over his face and he reaches behind me to unhook my bra. My breasts fall free, and Lachlan has a nipple in his mouth before I blink. “Fuck,” I mumble, as his other hand trails along the cup of my bra. Both hands palm my breasts and my breath stops for a few seconds. “You feel so good, baby,” he coos into my ear, biting down where the flesh meets my shoulder. “So bloody good.”

His thigh has pushed my legs open, his jeans rubbing against the fabric of my panties. Black swarms my vision. Something erupts inside of me. I let out a cry. “I need you, Lachlan. Please, fucking touch me. I’ve waited so long —” He silences me with a kiss. Rolling us to our sides, he slips his fingers inside of my lacey underwear. His fingers settling on the spot, he rubs slight circles against my wet flesh. “Ah,” I cry out, arching my back. “That’s right, luv. You’re so bloody wet for me.” He leans his head down and kisses me again. It feels like a marking. Like he is branding my heart. Whether he knows it or not, it never left. Slipping his fingers up the ridge of my underwear, he slips them down my thighs and I help him take them off of my ankles. My flesh is warm, heated from him. Lachlan sits between my legs, gazing down at me. A flutter of nerves wrack through me. I haven’t had sex in so long. Will I

be good? Will it hurt like the first time? “We don’t have to do this, luv. I can wait as long as you need me to.” His green eyes flicker toward me, his thick neck constricting when he swallows. Biting my lip, I take him in. He will wait…he was always patient, but the evidence in his jeans shows he’s ready to take me to bliss. Sitting up on my knees, I reach for his jeans. My fingers shake as I unzip him and start to pull. He helps me until he is sitting on his knees in front of me. My mouth dries when my eyes flicker toward his boxer briefs. They’ve filled

out more since high school. “Like what you see, luv?” he whispers, sliding fingers against my bare stomach. “Yes,” I mumble, grabbing his waistband. “Lachlan, I need you to fuck me. I feel like my body is going to explode. Please.” Lachlan lays me back, his light eyes searching my own. “No need to beg, luv. I’ll give you what you want.” A laugh slips from my throat but stops when he pulls a condom from the pocket of his jeans. I watch as he pulls down his underwear. His cock springs to life. Rolling the condom over his length, he keeps his eyes fixated on mine. “Relax, baby. I’m going to make you feel good.” He is so fucking sexy, hovering over me. I feel like I may die if he doesn’t touch me soon. He pulls me up to crush his full lips against my own. I try to wrap my fist around him, but my fingers barely touch. Definitely bigger. Much bigger. He growls, dropping his head and closing his eyes. I stroke him up and down. The sound of a male being pleased passes his lips. Gripping my wrist, he brings it over my head, trapping me between him and the bed. “If you keep touching me like that, this isn’t going to take very long. Let me take care of you, luv. You bloody well deserve it.” Bending down, he kisses the hollow of my ear. “Laney.” Just his one word sets me on fire. “Please, no more stalling. I want it.” Lachlan smiles, the corner of his mouth crawling dangerously slow up his jaw. “My pleasure, luv. We aim to

please, do we not?” My world tingles when I feel him at my entrance, his thickness making my sex ache with a need unimaginable. I toss my head against the mattress as he slides into me. God. He fills me so deep. So long. “Christ,” he grunts. “So. Fucking. Tight. Goddamn.” He still has my wrist in one hand, as he slowly slides in and out of me. Keeping my wrist in one hand, he slides the other hand down to where we meet. His calloused finger glides against my wet folds. My eyes flutter to the back of my head. This. Is. Heaven. Pulling out, he glances down at me. “Are you mine, luv? Say it.” Deliriously, I nod. I feel undone. Gone. “I’m yours.” His face is stern, jaw tight, eyes fixated on mine. “You want me inside of you? Now? All of me?” “Fuck, yes,” I whimper. In one second I’m filled with him again. Hard. I cry out, clenching my muscles in the most dangerously magical way. He starts slowly, then his pace quickens. He is pulsing furiously in and out of me. My muscles wrapping tightly around his length, begging for more. His hot mouth takes my nipple in and he bites. An orgasm is building. Pumping my hips toward him, I long for it. Long for that release. I tilt my pelvis his way, giving him better access. “Laney, Jesus Christ. You’re so fucking tight.” He releases my hands, and my own go straight to his neck, interlocking my fingers in his hair. He plunges into me harder, making me cry out. Trembles race through my body.

I let go, my body shuddering with want. Need. “Laney,” Lachlan sighs, clutching my hips harder. “You want me?” I’m still riding a wave from my orgasm, but I nod. “Yes,” I scream, my voice foreign. “Okay, baby.” He plunges harder into me, back and forth. He growls before he comes down in front of me, his cock jerking powerfully inside me. Our breath is hard, fast, and the only noise in the room. I feel him shift off of me and hear him tearing the condom from him. A second later I’m wrapped in hard arms. “Laney.” My eyelids flutter closed, unable to stay open. “Hmm.” “I think I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Where you are.” Smiling into his pillow, I nod. “I think so, too.”

Epilogue Laney “And in the end, the love you take Is equal to the love you make…” — The Beatles My clenched fist hovers over the door.

This is a bad idea. But, it’s the only way to make any of this better. I have to right my wrongs, even if I have to grow a pair to do it. A few guys walk behind me, mumbling something under their breath. Bet and bitch are definitely two words I hear. It’s been like this since the party. Everyone at school knows about the bet now. The girls applaud me while the guys treat me like a leper. I guess I deserve it; I should have never done it, but I did. So, it’s live with the guilt or grow up and apologize. I’m going with the latter. It’s been two weeks since the party. Aiden has turned the other way every time I get near him. He goes straight to his room, at least that’s what I’ve been hearing. Before I lose my nerve, I bang my fist against the door three times. There is stirring behind the door and I hope another girl doesn’t answer. A few seconds later the door creaks open. Aiden is standing with one hand on the doorknob and the other tucked in his sweats’ pocket. His jaw clenches when he sees me and his brown eyes widen with hurt. “Do you need something?” His voice

is deep, snarky and rude. Can’t say I blame him. “Can I come in?” Anger washes over his face. Closing his eyes, he opens the door wider, allowing me access. His roommate is sitting on his bed, earphones plugged in his ears. “Hey, can you give us a minute?” The guy looks up. “Oh,” he mouths, letting out a low whistle. “I will definitely be leaving now.” He grabs a bag and scurries out of the room. The guilt has wrapped around my chest, squeezing the life out of me. I stand with my back to him for a few seconds, trying to regain my breath. “Aiden, I’m sorry.” He scoffs, and I hear him start to dig around in his mini-fridge. “Right,” he mumbles. “What I did was wrong, I shouldn’t have agreed to it, and the more I got to know you the more I didn’t want you to ever find out about this. But you found out anyway.” Aiden sits down on his bed, drink in one hand and the other twisted into his blond locks. “I just—I liked you, Laney. I did.” I slide his desk chair out and roll over until I’m sitting in front of him. “You didn’t, Aiden. You liked that I was hard to get. You liked that I was a challenge. That I didn’t give in. It’s imbedded into your DNA, you can’t help it.” Glancing up, he rolls his eyes from the top of my head to my feet. “You said it was a bet. Who bet you to do it? You don’t seem like the kind of person to just do this to be mean. Who talked you into it again?” “Bethany. You slept with her a few weekends back.

She was my friend at the club.” “Brittany?” I roll my eyes. “Can’t you see that you hurt girls when you do this? I mean, I think they should keep their legs closed, but a lot of women are engrained with it. They want to please their potential mate, and so they give it up. It’s inevitable.” Aiden scratches his head, before making eye contact with me. “You’re not into me at all? Not even a bit.” Tucking my lip inside my mouth, I give him a slow, one-shouldered shrug. “No. I—I love someone else. I have for a long time.” Aiden nods. “British guy.” “Australian, but close enough.” “Well, congratulations to you and him. He throws a mean right hook.” He points toward a yellowing bruise on his cheek. Smiling, I reach over and brush my fingers against his. “I’m sorry. I should have never done this. I hope you can forgive me.” He grunts and stands up. “There is no way I couldn’t forgive you. You broke my heart and, even if it was fake, I cherish the time we had. It was…nice. I’m sorry for the way I treated your friend.” “Thank you, Aiden. Maybe you should tell her yourself?” Grabbing my arm, he pulls me toward his chest. I fit my head into the crook of his neck and exhale. “Thank you, Laney. I will.”

Aiden grips my hair when I reach up and kiss his cheek. “See you around?” Aiden nods. “Yeah, maybe we could hang out sometime. Just for old time’s sake.” “That would be nice.” My hands is on the doorknob when Aiden stops me. “Tell Lachlan that he has a good girl. That I’d be proud to call you mine.” Tears are forming in my eyes but I push them back down. “I will.” *** Lachlan is hanging a photo on his wall when I get there. The place is actually starting to look like home. His low-rise jeans are the only thing hanging on his hips. His back muscles are hard, moving as he hammers the picture frame into the wall. The faint sound of music hums from his living room speakers. Shutting the door, Lachlan turns around to see me. His green eyes are bright, a smile curling up his strong jaw. “Did you see him?” I nod and toss my brown paper bag on his kitchen cabinet. “Yes.” He lifts an eyebrow and turns completely toward me. The lines in his abs are deeper than I remember from high school, his shoulders wider. Age has done him well. “And?” “He says he forgives me.”

Lachlan clears his throat and nods toward the brown paper sack. “What do you have in the sack, luv?” I shake my head. “Girl stuff. You want to take a break?” A wicked grin crawls up his face. “Do you have something in mind, baby?” his voice drips with sex. If that’s even freaking possible. I take a few leisurely steps toward him. “I think I may, luv,” I mock. Lachlan wraps an arm around my waist, bringing me close to him. “Well, why don’t I jump in the shower and then we can put said plans into motion.” I nip his ear with my teeth, making him growl. “Or we could forget the shower.” Laughing, I push him toward the bathroom. “Hurry,” I say. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Waiting until he is around the corner, I grip the paper bag and lock myself in the guest bathroom. All the nerves I’d been hiding jut out and start dancing at the sight of the test. Pregnancy test. I’m a week and a half late for my period. I open the box, memories resurfacing. I screw my eyes shut and lock them away. I won’t be tormented by my past mistakes anymore. The therapist Lachlan suggested has helped me. She doesn’t judge, only listens. It’s nice to talk. To admit my fears. I shake it off after I pee on it, and set it on the counter. I bite my lip and slide against the bathroom door. I

hear Lachlan in the kitchen. He must have taken a damn whore bath. Checking my phone, I ease my way up. The small stick is staring up at me. Begging to be read. “Laney, are you okay, luv? Are you sick?” “Not yet,” I mumble. “That’ll take a few weeks.” “What? Let me in,” he says, wiggling the doorknob. I instantly grab the knob and open the door. I won’t leave him out again. “What the—” he trails off as he sees the stick in my hands. Eyes wide, he nods toward it. “Are you?” I shrug. Lachlan puts his drink down and wraps his arms around my waist. “Want to look together?” Nodding, I grip the sides of his sweat pants. “Yes.” Lachlan pulls me back, and sits me on the bathroom counter. My eyes are closed; I’m too afraid to look. Lachlan takes the pregnancy test from me and the silence digs into me. “Look, luv.” Pressing my lips into a hard line, I open my eyes fast. Two pale blue lines are staring back up at me. Heart pounding, I glance up at Lachlan. He’s grinning wildly. Snatching his hands up, he runs them through his hair. “We’re—we’re pregnant, luv.” The large lump in my throat falls down my throat. I’m not scared. The look on Lachlan’s face erases every fear, memory, and doubt in my mind. “We’re pregnant.” Lachlan wraps me in his arms, those big, safe arms, and squeezes. “Christ, we’re getting a second chance.

Another chance.” He is shaking against me, tears soaking the shoulder of my shirt. I’m doing my best runny-nose sob into his shoulder. He pulls back, his eyes as wide as his smile. “I love you so much, luv.” Biting back the happy tears, I nod. “I never stopped.”

“It's been written in the scars on our hearts we’re not broken just bent And we can learn to love again” — Pink

Song Credits “Just Give Me a Reason.” Written and performed by Pink. “The Scientist” Written by Guy Berryman, Chris Martin, Johnny Buckland, Coldplay. Performed by Coldplay. “Wrecking Ball.” Written by Stephan Moccio, Lukasz Gottwald, Sacha Skarbek, Cirkut, Mozella. Performed by Miley Cyrus.” “Flaws.” Written by Daniel Smith. Performed by Bastille. “The Kill.” Written by Jared Leto. Performed by 30 Seconds to Mars. “Broken.” Written by Federico Scoot, Jason Wade. Performed by Lifehouse. “Hallelujah.” Written by Leonard Cohen. Performed by Rufus Wainwright. “Far Away.” Written by Nickleback and Chad Kroger. Performed by Nickleback. “Dreaming With a Broken Heart.” Written and performed by John Mayer. “Haunted.” Written by Jimmy Messer. Performed by Kelly Clarkson “When We Were One.” Written by Rune Westberg and Brooke White. Performed by Brooke White. “Pompeii.” Written by Daniel Smith. Performed by Bastille. “Scars.” Written by Tobin Esperance. Performed by Papa Roach. “Paradise.” Written by Guy Berryman, Chris Martin, Johnny Buckland. Performed by Coldplay.

“Troublemaker.” Written by Olly Murs, Claude Kelly, Flo Rida, and Steve Robson. Performed by Olly Murs. “Every Girl.” Written by DeWayne Carter, Aubrey Graham, Jarvis Mills, Jermaine Preyan, Carl Lilly. Performed by Young Money and Lil Wayne. “The End.” Written by Lennon-McCartney. Performed by The Beatles.

ALLA KAR Alla Kar is from the Deep South. She lives there with her husband, Chihuahua, and pit-bull. She loves YouTube and bringing alpha males to life. When she isn’t reading or writing, she is watching the Hodge Twins and swooning over book boyfriends to whoever will listen!

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Table of Contents HERE WITH ME Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two WHERE YOU ARE Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Epilogue Song Credits About the Author More New Adult Titles From Swoon Romance Also From Alla Kar