KEPT A Small Town Second Chance Romance - Vivian Lux

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Kept A Reckless Falls Novella by Vivian Lux

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This book contains adult themes, explicit language and sexual situations. It is intended for mature audiences.

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(C) 2016 and 2017 by Vivian Lux and Velvetfire Press All Rights Reserved

BOOKS BY VIVIAN LUX: Sons of Steel Motorcycle Club: Steel My Heart Steel Me Away Steel My Love Steel My Soul

Rockstar Romance JAX: A Rockstar Stepbrother Romance RANE: A Rockstar Stepbrother Romance WILDER: A Rockstar Romance LOW: A Rockstar Romance TRUE: A Rockstar Romance

The Reckless Falls Series: KEPT: A Small Town Second Chance Novella WRECKED: A Small Town Bad Boy Romance TWICE: A Small Town Menage Romance TIED: A Small Town Bad Boy Romance (March 2017) PLAYED: A Small Town Bad Boy Billionaire Romance (April 2017)

Sports Romance FORCE: A Bad Boy Sports Romance IMPACT: A Secret Baby Sports Romance

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Prologue Autumn (Eight years ago)

The second I slid into the passenger seat of his car, Cole's hand was sliding up my thigh. "And hello to you too," I giggled, halfheartedly trying to bat him away. "How'd you do on your calc midterm, Slick?" "I don't want to talk about calc," he murmured against my neck. "I want to talk about getting these clothes off of you." I squirmed, feeling the blood rush to my face at the same time my breath quickened. His hand was already smoothing its way downward. "Right here in the parking lot of school?" I asked breathlessly. "Wouldn't be the first time," he said and I could feel the shape of his grin against my skin. "Yeah, but it was dark." My weak protest dissolved into a groan when his fingers slid into my panties. "What's gotten into you?" "It's you, Autumn," Cole replied, pulling back to look me in the eye. "It's always been you."

Just like they always did, my knees went to jelly the second I saw his eyes. They were the warmest of brown, the color of amber or pinesap. So warm that they burned into me and every time he looked at me I melted. "You jerk," I sighed as I sought his lips. He smiled against my mouth before slipping his tongue against mine. I sighed again, feeling my body surrender to the first guy who had ever kissed me with authority, much less skill. With Cole, it was like every kiss was the first one we ever shared, punctuated with that wild, gasping realization that I was only eighteen but somehow I'd found the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. "Red," he murmured, kissing a trail along my jawline and down my neck. "I missed you today." "We have... oh... five classes together, ah!" I gasped as he took my earlobe in his teeth and nibbled. "Right, and I missed you in the other three," he said as he moved, sliding over to kneel in the passenger floorboard. "You're... um... shit..." I babbled as he yanked my skirt up and shoved my panties aside. Then I froze at the sound of clacking high heels on the pavement. "Shit, that sounds like Collis!" I hissed to Cole. "Guess I'll have to get my head down," Cole laughed, burying his face between my thighs. "Oh god." I bit my lip and then pasted on a bright, fake, probably unhinged-looking smile as our English teacher stalked past on her way to her wood-paneled station wagon. Our eyes met just as Cole's tongue

found my clit and I gasped out a breathy, "Hi!" as she passed the window. "Tell her 'hi' for me too!" Cole laughed against my thigh. I smacked the top of his head. "You're crazy! She almost saw you!" "She hates my guts anyway. It wouldn't have made a difference." "Yeah, but for me, though..." "Don't worry, baby," he growled as he slid his finger inside of me. "Don't I always take care of you?" "You do... oh..." My protests died away in a hysterical little babble as he moved his finger. Sometimes I wondered if Cole had been made specifically for me somewhere. The way he just instinctually knew my body, hitting all the spots that made me weaken. His finger moved in perfect rhythm with his tongue and I forgot everything. I forgot that we were sitting in his car behind our high school in broad daylight. I forgot that we were waiting anxiously for our acceptance letters to college. I forgot that I'd probably fucked up my Chemistry midterm beyond repair because I'd forgotten Avogadro's number. I forgot everything except Cole's fingers and tongue, and Cole himself, my fucking favorite person in the whole wide world. My heart thudded in my ears and I felt the gathering heat coiling around my belly. Arching upwards, I sank my fingers into his hair and held him there on the spot I needed, the place I craved him most. "Cole," I gasped, gritting my teeth my whole body tense and ready... "Yes baby," Cole said. "I want to watch..." he slid his thumb up to

my clit, swirling it in circles as he lifted his head to look in my eyes. He loved to watch me come, watching my face as I came undone and I was more than happy to oblige his peculiar obsession by gasping out loud. He groaned and covered my mouth with his, muffling my scream before Mrs. Collis came back and caught us for real. I kissed him as the tremors subsided and then slowly opened my eyes to see him watching me with boyish excitement. "What's gotten into you?" I asked, smiling and then stifling a yawn behind my hand. He laughed. "That's how I know I did good," he crowed. "You always yawn afterward." "Do not!" I protested, but I knew it was true. "What do you want, orgasms make me sleepy!' He grinned, kissed me again, and then executed a graceful tuck and roll that ended up with him behind the wheel again. I blinked at him, confused, and reached for his zipper. "It's your turn," I reminded him. He batted my hand away and clicked the keys into the ignition. "I'm saving it," he informed me. "For later." "There's going to be a later?" I grinned, shimmying and already anticipating it. "All night long, Red," he promised, starting the car. "We're celebrating." "Ooh, what are we celebrating?" I asked, clapping my hands and bouncing up and down. I freaking love birthdays and holidays and

planning festivities. I already had my wedding to Cole planned out, down to the tiniest detail. Never mind that he hadn't proposed yet. I knew it was coming. Just like I knew we'd be going to college together and getting a place off campus as soon as we could. Just like I knew we'd come back to Reckless Falls after college and buy a house together. I'd go work at the elementary school and Cole would open his own business and we'd get married the following year and have a baby the year after that. Some people might think that’s boring but I couldn't imagine any other way my life should go. It was what I wanted. He was what I wanted. Some people spend their whole lives searching for what they want. I was eighteen years old and I already had it. I was on top of the fucking world. Cole fell silent as he drove around the park towards my parents' house. "What are we celebrating?" I prompted him. "I did it," he said. "I got in!" I clapped my hands together. "You jerk! I haven't gotten any letters yet! Which one? Syracuse? Ithaca? Geneseo?" I asked, naming all the colleges we'd applied to together. "Oh wait, did you hear from University of Buffalo already? They don't get their letters out until later I thought." "No..." Cole's voice wavered strangely. "Not from them." I mentally ticked off our choices on my fingers. Four colleges we'd

applied to together. Syracuse and Ithaca were long shots with my grades, but I figured it was worth a try and besides, Cole was so smart I couldn't deny him a shot. "Where?" I asked, and some of the breath left my body before my brain fully comprehended what he was about to tell me. "Penn." "Penn State?" "No. University of Pennsylvania." "That's..." I swallowed. "We didn't apply there, Cole." He just stared straight ahead. "Cole?" My voice was rising. No. This wasn't what we'd talked about. This wasn't what we'd planned. "Cole, what are you talking about?" "The guidance counselor. She said I could probably get a full ride scholarship there if I applied. So... I did because you know..." "I know," I exhaled. Where he was going to come up with the money for college had always been a nagging thought in the back of my head but I'd dismissed it as something we'd figure out once we knew where we were going. "And Autumn... I did." "You..."

"Got a full ride to the University of Pennsylvania." I blinked. I opened my mouth. I tried to say something, anything, but I couldn't make my thoughts heard over the sound of my plans crashing down around me. The only thing I could manage was a strangled sob before I swallowed and blinked back my tears.

Chapter One Cole (Present Day)

When I was a kid, the mountains that closed in around our small town seemed to touch the sky. But now, as I looked at them from the back of my hired car, they seemed as small as anthills. I blinked, convinced I was seeing them wrong. The memory I held of my hometown was as clear as crystal, but now that I was back, there was a tug of war in my head, a battle between my memories and the realities that faced me. “Were they always that tiny?” I wondered out loud. The divider slid down. “What was that, sir?” the driver asked. “Nothing,” I sighed, sitting back on the sumptuous leather. Then I leaned forward again. “Do those mountains look big to you?” I needed to know if I was going crazy or not. “Mountains, sir?” “The mountains!” I gestured at the snow-covered landscape. Flakes danced in the air, swirling thick and fast. Though the sun still

glimmered through patches in the dark clouds, I could feel the heaviness in the air. This was going to be a bad storm. “Those mountains, you see? All around us?” Reckless Falls, New York was a reliable provider of white Christmases, and this year proved to be no exception. It was Christmas Eve, and the ground already had a good eight inches on it. Up in the mountains-turned-hills, it was probably a foot deep already, and the snow hung thick on the branches of the pines, making each tree look like it was dressed up for the holidays. The thought made me smile with unexpected nostalgia. There was nothing quite like my hometown to get you in the Christmas spirit. The driver stopped at a red light in the center of town and looked out of his window. “Mountains sir? I see some hills, sir. Over there? And there also, right? Is that what you’re wondering?” Hills. They were as small as they seemed then. Something inside of me deflated and I felt a flutter of something unfamiliar in my stomach. I didn’t recognize it because I’d never felt it before, but at the same time, I started wondering... Was I wrong? Of course not. I’m never wrong. “Hills. Of course,” I sighed. “Those are definitely hills. No question.” That the mountains were small was only one disappointment. There was also the matter of there being absolutely no one out and

about to see me arrive in this top-of-the-line car with my companyprovided driver. Yeah sure, I didn’t really believe that there would be crowds out on the sidewalk, waving flags to greet the return of their hometown hero. That kind of shit doesn’t happen in real life. Unless you’re coming home from war. And while the corner office sometimes felt like a war zone, the fact was, my life was nothing people rolled out parades to honor. On the other hand, though, my homecoming was probably the most important event this town had seen in months. Possibly years. Maybe just a banner across Main Street, “Welcome to Reckless Falls, Birthplace of Cole Granger.” I’m not picky. That would have been enough. That would have been acceptable. I couldn’t help looking out the window. Just to check. “Shit, they knocked down the IGA?” “The what sir?” I had no idea why I was so exasperated. “The old grocery store,” I barked. “Sir, I’ve never been here before in my life.” I leaned back in my seat. “Course not.” I settled in and pulled out my phone, busying myself with emails from the office to distract from the worryingly unfamiliar town that rolled by the windows. The little flutters of misgiving in my stomach became more intense. When the parcel of lakefront opened up, I convinced my board to let me handle the negotiations. After all, I knew this town. Crotchety old Mr. Melton would deal better with a hometown hero than he would with a stuffed

suit from the city. Never mind that I’d also become a stuffed suit from the city. Somehow. Not really sure how that happened. Was I wrong about this deal? I couldn’t be wrong. I staked my reputation at the firm as some kind of real estate wunderkind. Cole Granger had an animal’s instinct when it came to sniffing out undervalued properties for development. At the Ledgerwood Properties Group, the New York City firm I had belonged to since I graduated with top marks from the Wharton Business School, I had been pushing to lay claim to properties upstate. The New York City real estate market was so overvalued, it was next to impossible to turn big profits. Big profits meant big bonuses, and I needed those bonuses to fund the lifestyle I had grown accustomed to. When the Melton property came up for sale, I jumped on it. It was perfect, undeveloped waterfront in a growing vacation hotspot. Reckless Falls was already undergoing yuppification, moving from a low-key family vacation spot to sporting million dollar properties along the southern end of the lake. Melton’s Marina and Repairs was one of the last big pieces of waterfront left. Split it into parcels for condos and retail and we’d make a fortune. I truly believed that when I was sitting in my Manhattan office, dreaming about the deal. “Let me handle this,” I told the board, smiling the megawatt smile that sealed all of my deals. “Listen, I went to high school with Mr. Melton’s granddaughter,” I told them, neglected follow up with exactly what my relationship was to Mr. Melton’s granddaughter. “He’ll remember me,” I said instead. And when it turned out that the old man had demurred, asking if he could send a family representative instead, I knew for certain that I was a shoo-in. “I’m a local, I know how these

people work,” I encouraged the board. “Just send me upstate and I’ll take care of everything.” The stuffy, white-haired board members had looked confused — collectively befuddled by the idea of moving their investments outside of Manhattan — but ultimately decided that I was right. So they voted to let the new guy, the kid as they called me, take care of this deal. If it went well, I could be start building a whole portfolio of properties. I started designing my business card in my head right then and there, Cole Granger, Director of Upstate Opportunity. I shook their hands and promised them there was a whole world out there, off their little neon island. A world that was ripe for exploiting. Did I say exploiting? I meant improving. And now here I was. Heading home for the holidays. I’d shake a few hands, slap a few backs and remind everyone how much they’d missed having me around. Stop by and see my brother, who still stubbornly stayed here, acting as caretaker for our family home even though our parents had fled to their Florida retirement home last year. Maybe hang around, see if I could get myself invited to a few Christmas parties. I knew Mr. Melton well enough to know that he wouldn’t take kindly to me just showing up at his front door out of the blue. But if I came home for the holidays and just happened to have time to talk business? There’s no way he could say no. I leaned back in my seat again, feeling quite pleased with my plan. Getting Earl Melton to sign on the dotted line would be the best Christmas present I could ask for. And then when we were finished and were sharing a celebratory beer, then maybe I could ask about Autumn.

Autumn. Just thinking about Autumn Melton made the flutter in my stomach ramp up to an earthquake. She looked just like her name, all red hair and orange-y freckles, her bright blue eyes as clear as an October sky. And she was just as fiery too. In the eight years since I left this town, I’d lived my life with no regrets. But that was because I had left my biggest regret back here, in Reckless Falls. I was eighteen and stupid. So fucking far up my own ass about being the first in my family to go to college that I let my ego get in the way of love. Autumn had too much dignity to beg me to stay. She waited for me to choose her. And when I didn’t, she didn’t let me see her cry. It was only by chance that I looked back and saw her eyes filling with tears and I’ve carried that picture in my head every day since. I wonder if she still hates me. Fuck it, I still hate myself. Yeah, it would be a fucking mistake to track down Autumn. She probably left here a long time ago too. I never heard from her again after that day, so for all I knew, she’d joined the Peace Corps or maybe was doing that Teach For America thing she’d talked about.

I hoped she was okay. I hoped she was happy. But maybe it’d be best if I didn’t ask about her. There was no reason to open up that old wound. I was here for business, not pleasure. Although, if I needed pleasure there was always Brynn Reese, the pretty wild child with the flowers in her hair and loose attitudes about nudity and sex. She’d always been properly impressed with me and she probably still worked at her dad’s bar... “Wait, stop here, please,” I called, purposefully derailing that train of thought with a sudden realization. “I need to run in to the liquor store.” “Stop where, exactly, sir?” I looked out the window. “Wait, isn’t Lolly’s Liquor Barn right there?” “I see no barn, sir.” “Shit. Did they knock it down?” “Appears that way, sir.” “Well, where the hell am I going to buy a bottle of something to help me deal with my brother?” “I have no idea sir, I have never been here before,” he repeated. “There appears to be a convenience store up on the right.”

“Yeah, that’ll have to do. Fuck, nothing else is open? Christ, I forgot what a sleepy little shithole this place turns into in the winter.” “Yes sir,” the driver replied. I couldn’t be certain if he was agreeing with my plan or with my assessment of Reckless Falls. I bristled at the thought that it might be the latter. I was allowed to make fun of this place. But no one else was. “I’ll pull in here, sir.” “Thanks... uh...” “Langley, sir.” This man had been driving me for the past six hours, but I only thought to ask his name now. I wondered why I noticed that and I wondered why it bothered me. It wouldn’t have back home in New York. “Want me to grab you anything, Langley?” I asked, hardly believing the words coming out of my mouth. Langley looked like I had asked him if I should drop my pants and go running through the town square. “No, sir. I’m fine sir.” His eyes darted up to meet mine. “But thank you, sir.” “Yeah, no problem,” I grunted as he opened the door for me and some weird little instinct made me duck my head just in case someone was driving by and saw me in some fancy-ass car. All the rest of the cars in the lot, all two of them, were modest sedans with snow tires and spots of rust around the wheel wells. I felt a tinge of embarrassment over my shiny luxury car. Another thing I would never worry about in the city. There I

wanted to be seen. I had an image of success to maintain and, as exhausting as it was, image was everything. I inhaled sharply, taking in the smells of wood smoke and pine — the smells of my home in winter — before I shook my head to clear it and headed into the store.

Chapter Two Autumn

Egg nog is disgusting. There. I said it. Maybe this time I’ll remember and not try to gag it down when it’s offered to me. But my mother believed that Christmas wasn’t Christmas without a cup of her homemade eggnog in hand. After a marathon cookiebaking session, she opened her fridge and let out such a cry of despair over the lack of eggs for eggnog that my oldest-daughter-guilt kicked into overdrive. “I’ll go grab some,” I promised her, shoving my arms into the oversized parka I inherited — or to be more accurate, stole — from my father. “Really? Oh, Autumn thank you!” She stole a worried glance out the steamy kitchen window. “But it’s getting worse out there.” I kissed her cheek. “Didn’t you teach me how to drive in the snow? I’ll be fine. Drink your noxious potion and I’ll be right back.” My mother’s eyes gleamed at me from over the chipped candy cane mug that was her nog-receptacle of choice. The rum was already coloring her cheeks. “Would I be a bad mother if I told you to hurry?” she asked as she took a healthy slug. I involuntarily gagged. “I won’t be a moment.”

The nog-gods must have smiled on my mother, because as I waited at the end of her drive, a plow went by, allowing me to jump right behind it and enjoy clear roads straight into town. Nice and Easy Mart actually had another car in the lot besides mine, which surprised me, and as I parked, I caught a glimpse of a really fancy looking car pulling in. Must be one of the vacationers, I thought. Coming in to spend the holiday at their lodge. No one from Reckless Falls would have a car like that, that was for certain. The flakes were falling thick and fast and everything was so silent and muffled I felt like I had cotton balls in my ears. I puffed my way to the door and pushed into the overheated warmth, immediately unwinding my scarf and unzipping my parka. “Hey Mr. Foster!” I called out to the sad-looking old man behind the counter. “Thanks for staying open.” “Hardly worth the effort,” he grumbled. “It’s just a few flakes, but people act like it’s a blizzard. I’ll tell you, back when I was a kid...” “I know, right?” I said cheerily, breezing my way to the refrigerated back wall. “It’s terrible.” The jingle of the bell over the door made me sigh in relief that someone else was in here to absorb Joe Foster’s complaints. I just wanted to grab these eggs and get back.... “Autumn.” At the sound of his voice, my heart skipped and I dropped the eggs. They splattered across the floor in front of me like a Jackson

Pollack painting, but I didn’t even care because goosebumps had broken out over the whole of my body just hearing his voice again. Did I really just hear Cole? I looked up and saw him standing there. Yes, my brain registered dully. That is Cole. He is here. There was no emotion connected to this thought. Just a clinical observation of the facts. Cole smiled his smile, the one I still saw when I closed my eyes. He stepped forward... Wow, his shoes are really nice, I noted nonsensically. Then suddenly I stiffened as instinct took over. “Wait!” I waved him off. But he didn’t listen to me. Like usual. He moved towards me... and stepped directly into the goopy, shattered egg yolks at my feet. “Oh.” He looked down. “Yeah.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah.” “You dropped your eggs.” “No kidding.” “I feel like I should be making an egg joke here.” I swallowed back my irritation. How in the hell is Cole Granger back from the fucking dead and standing in front of me trying to make egg jokes? Is this really happening?

“Please don’t.” His eyes flicked up from his shoe. Goddamn. Those lashes. Goddamn. “Like maybe ask you how you like them in the morning?” “Stop, Cole.” “But I know that already. How you like your eggs. Fried over easy in an obscene amount of butter.” Anger flashed in my veins. “You need to stop,” I said evenly, gritting my teeth. His eyes softened. “Sorry, Autumn. I’m just... I didn’t expect to see you here.” “It’s Christmas, Cole.” “Yeah. Uh, Merry Christmas.” I waited for a beat. “I’m Jewish now. I converted.” He looked mortified. Good. “Oh, shit, sorry. Happy Hanukkah.” I could only hold out for a second before my lip twitched. “No I didn’t. I’m just messing with you.” “Oh, so you can give me shit, but I can’t give you shit?” he challenged me, eyes twinkling. God, I always loved that dimple. It was only a certain smile that showed it, so when it appeared it always felt like a secret he kept, just for me.

Stop it, Autumn. Just fucking stop it. I lifted my chin. “That’s right.” “And why’s that?” “Because you deserve to have shit given to you.” It came out meaner than I wanted it to, and I could see that my words hit him like a blow. The cocky tilt of his head slumped forward and he kind of deflated. That wasn’t what I wanted to see, no matter how badly he’d hurt me. I took a deep breath. “Look, I didn’t mean...” “No,” he exhaled through his teeth with a slight whistling sound. There were still snowflakes trapped in his hair, even in the extreme over-warmth of the store. I wanted to brush them out of his hair for him, but that would mean touching him and I wasn’t sure I could do that without wrapping my hands around his throat. He licked his lips, making them shine wetly, kiss-ably. “I deserved that.” “Maybe you did at the time, but it’s been years.” I straightened my shoulders, proud of my diplomatic tone. “I know. Too long.” My diplomacy instantly wavered. “No,” I spat. “I wouldn’t say that.” He deflated a bit more and a perverse part of me liked that I was hurting him. It was shitty and totally against the Christmas spirit, but fuck it. Cole Granger was an asshole and he’d broken my heart.

“You’re here for Christmas?” he asked, deftly changing the subject away from our whirlwind, doomed romance. I nodded. It was too complicated to get into it much more than that. “Christmas and family stuff. But I live just outside of town now.” “Really?” The shock of this revelation was evident in his voice. I guess he figured I was serious when I told him I was joining the Peace Corps. I nodded. “Sometimes you just need to be by the people who love you.” He winced again, and even though I hadn’t been trying to hurt him, I was glad I’d scored an unexpected point. “So you’re like, a local again?” “As local as you can get. I’m a teacher now.” “No shit?” “No shit.” "Just like you wanted?" "Just like I wanted," I said, folding my arms across my chest. Maybe my plans about marrying him had crashed and burned but that didn't mean I was going to let the rest of my life get screwed up too. “What do you teach?” he asked, even though I could tell by the look in his eye that he knew the answer.

I nodded. “That's right. Sharing with occasional crowd control. I’m a kindergarten teacher. Just like I said I'd be.” He blinked as he processed this new information. Was there sadness there, if only for a second? Fuck him. He didn't get to be sad about me moving on. He swallowed a little. "So Mrs. Hope retired. Finally. Good god, how old was she?” “She was only sixty-five when she retired, Cole. She just seemed old because you were a kid.” “She was ancient. Older than the dinosaurs.” “And damned good at her job too. When she retired, they hired two of us to replace her.” “Wow, really?” “Me and Brynn Reese.” This time when he winced I had no idea why. “There are that many kids in the school? Wow.” “Town’s changing, Cole.” “I noticed on the drive in. Not sure I like it that much.” I had to laugh and I hated how he was still his charming self. It was impossible to stay mad at him and that was the problem. “It hasn’t changed that much. The core of it is still the same. Lots of people either stayed or are realizing that they missed home too much and are coming back.”

This time I had no idea what the look in his eyes meant. It seemed almost wistful, though I knew that Cole Granger had never been wistful in his life. Being wistful would mean he had to admit he missed something... and that he’d been wrong to leave.... Shit. Don’t think these thoughts. He knows you too well, he can... “You thinking maybe I’m one of those people, Red?” I’d forgotten how much I loved when he called me that. Loved and then hated it. I lifted my chin higher. “Well, you’re here at Christmas time. That’s a pretty good indication that you miss it here.” I expected him to protest, but he just smiled his crooked smile. “Winter is the best season here.” I nodded. “The frozen falls.” “The smell of wood smoke from a far off chimney.” “Ah, so poetic.” “Oh, you like that? Is it turning you on?” You know what turns me on, I didn’t say. I took a deliberate step back. Away from his maddening nearness. Being so close to him was doing strange things to my body. I felt like I’d lost my bearings, my internal compass needle spinning wildly, around and around. “Keep talking poetry at me, Slick.” He grinned at the old nickname. The guy knew he could charm the pants off a scarecrow. It might be his only saving grace. “I also like

fires when you’re inside too. The heat on your naked skin when you make love in front of a wood stove...” “Jesus, Cole.” “What? I’m telling you what I like about winter.” My cheeks were flaming. “Well, stop.” Too many memories. He leaned in, deftly stepping around the egg. “Sorry, Red.” I could smell the heat, the wet wool of his gorgeous peacoat, and him. He smelled the same as he did in my memories. “It was good to see you.” “Good to see you too.” I bit my lip, trying to stop talking, to stem the tide of words, but my tongue just kept moving without my brain. “Where are you staying?” “Derek’s.” “How’s your brother doing?” “Same. Chip on his shoulder the size of the rock of Gibraltar, so everything’s normal in Derek-land.” I grinned. “Tell him I said hey.” “I will.” My tongue was moving again. “Cole?” “Yes, Red?”

I grinned reflexively. “A couple of us are getting together at Reese’s pub tonight. I’m sure everyone would love to see you.” The way he looked at me sent my heart racing. I could feel the blush spreading across my cheeks, even before he asked me, “Are you going to be there, Autumn?” “I am.” My voice was remarkably composed, given the storm that raged inside of me. He nodded once, as decisive as could be. “Then I’ll be there.” “Okay,” I squeaked. My composure was cracking. “See you.” I waited, staring at his broad back as he walked back up the aisle, grabbed something off the shelf and went over to the counter. I ducked behind an end-cap, listening to the rumbling, creaky sounds of Old Joe’s bitching. Then I waited some more, taking deep steadying breaths. When the bell over the door jingled, I took a deep breath and began counting. When I reached sixty, I rushed blindly to the front and pushed the door open, hurtling into my car where I slammed the door shut behind me and sped off, my heart racing the whole way home. It wasn’t until I was back in my mom’s driveway that I realized I had forgotten the eggs.

Chapter Three Cole

My brother Derek was only two years older than me, but he wore those years like a funeral shroud, wrapping himself in his cares to the point where he was almost stooped over. When I saw him standing there, on the porch outside of the secluded rented carriage house he'd sequestered himself in, I felt a small pit open up in my stomach. With it came the hollow feeling of regret. I should be here. Helping him. It wasn't exactly fair that he got stuck caring for our parents' place now that they'd fucked on out of here and into a Florida condo. It was just sort of how things worked out, proximity wise. And he was older too. So, that was sort of his job. Or at least that's how I rationalized it to myself back in New York. But now that I was here, I wondered what kind of toll it was taking on him. Derek’s depression seemed to be on an uptick, or at least that’s what he’d been telling me whenever I bothered to call him up to check. But his depression and alcoholism went hand-in-hand. And though he had quit the bottle — seemingly forever — two years back, I still worried to see the lines on his face. Something had happened. Something he refused to tell me about, and really could I blame him? The only contact we had these days was when I blew into town in my fancy hired car to judge the life he led up here and then left again a few

days later. He didn't owe me the reason he'd stopped drinking, although I damn well wished he'd tell me anyway so I could stop worrying. Because with that worry came guilt. Would I always have to be suspicious of him? Was I always going to be left to wonder if he was off the wagon again? And how would I even know? How would I even have the nerve to ask him, when I hadn’t seen him in so long? "There's my little brother, the suit!" Derek called across the drive. He was still an asshole. Guess I didn't need to be worrying so much about him after all. "There's my big brother, the hick!" I snapped back smartly, grabbing my suitcase with my bare hand. I shoved my other hand in the pocket of my peacoat, cursing the fact that I’d forgotten my gloves back at my penthouse. I was risking frostbite out here. But where the fuck was I going to find gloves in Reckless Falls on Christmas Eve? Unless I maybe borrowed a pair from Derek. But I had to give him more shit before then. “Hey, you got a couple coon dogs lying under the porch here, Derek?” I asked as I took the stairs up the front porch two at a time. “When did you go fullbackwoods on me? This place is like something out of the movie Deliverance." It was actually really nice in a Reckless Falls sort of way. A rehabbed carriage house like this, located on the estate of some wealthy old guy, it was the kind of property I'd snap up and add to my portfolio in a heartbeat. Cole Granger, Director of Upstate Opportunity knew all about diamonds in the rough. But I wasn't going to tell him that.

Derek narrowed his eyes, but the corner of his mouth worked upward. "Glad to see you’re still an asshole,” he growled, pulling me in for a manly one armed hug, slapping me so hard on the back that I had to stifle a cough. "I was afraid New York would have changed you." “No way,” I said, feeling the tips of my ears burning. “I’m bigger and better than any city." "So I guess, uh, Merry Christmas or whatever?" Derek asked, unceremoniously lifting my luggage without straining in the least. "Yeah sure, Merry fucking Christmas and all that." I followed him into his kitchen. "I see you've decorated recently,” I said sarcastically, turning in a circle to take in the sparsely furnished house. There wasn’t a garland or a string of lights hung anywhere. Derek shrugged. "Didn't really see the point. It's just you and me after all, right?” I ran my tongue across the top of my bottom teeth. "Just you and me, yeah," I nodded. "It's not like I thought they should stay here forever," Derek muttered, staring at his shoes with an expression of intense ferocity. "It's just more that they..." "Didn’t even tell you?” I seethed. Anger flared like a match in my belly, heating up the blood that started thudding in my ears. Our parents, my parents, just up and leaving like that, what the fuck? But Derek’s anger seemed to have settled into a slow burning simmer. ”Oh no, they told me,” he drawled, shoving his hands in his

pockets like he used to do when he was resisting the urge to punch something. Maybe that was still what he was doing. “Just like how they told me I would be the one who needed to take care of the house for them. Mom put it pretty fucking bluntly. ‘Just because you insist on wasting your life, Derek, it doesn’t mean we need to be wasting ours alongside you. We’ll even pay you a wage, although, it’d be pretty ungrateful for you to accept it...’” The sound that came out of my mouth was halfway between a bark and a laugh, but Derek was still looking at his feet and not paying attention to my impotent rage in the slightest. “So that was that. I’m officially a caretaker of our family home. I gotta keep it nice for renters and more importantly for Mom and Dad. You know... just in case they decide to come back." I swallowed down the lump that was forming in my throat. “You think they will?" Derek looked up from his feet. "Honestly? Who cares?” That pit that had been forming in my stomach widened and deepened. "Harsh, dude, they’re our parents." "They’re selfish and always have been." He looked me up and down. "I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree." I blinked. ”And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” "It means exactly what I just said." "You're saying I’m selfish?"

"Well, who cut and run first, huh?” "Cut and run? Is that what you think I did?” Instantly the simmering anger I’d been feeling on his behalf flipped into a defensive rage. “I went to college, Derek. I got a job. A fucking good job. I'm at the top of my fucking field, dude. Do you even understand how well I'm doing?” Do you see how expensive my watch is? I didn't ask. Do you see how nice my shoes are, getting all scuffed up with snow melt? Aren't you proud of me? Don't you see how far I've come? I clamped my mouth shut to keep the words inside, unwilling to open up that Pandora's box. Derek was waiting for me to finish. ”Yeah,” he exhaled in a sharp rush, “you went to college. Mom and Dad let you go because they knew they still had another son who’d stay here and take care of things for them.” "Well don't put that guilt on me! You don't have to give in to this. Staying around, waiting for the call, sending reports on how well their investment property is doing?” I choked on the word. “Investment property? We grew up there! That's our house!” “I’m not putting any guilt on you," Derek said, his voice slightly softer now. "You're the baby brother, you’re spoiled, that's the way these things work." “Spoiled?” I laughed grimly. “That’s what you call it? Because I worked my ass off and managed to get a scholarship, that makes me spoiled? Mom and Dad didn't send me to school, I sent myself." Derek shrugged. And I had to keep talking just to keep myself

from punching him right in the face. "I saw Autumn Melton today," I said, somehow unable to keep my big mouth shut. "And she was happy to see me, you know? Even invited me to a little shindig at Reese's pub with her and her coworkers.” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against his ugly-ass wood paneled cupboards. “So if there're no hard feelings there, maybe you'd better get over whatever the hell chip you’re even carrying around on your shoulder." “Just let it go?” “Let it fucking go, Derek.” “Just like that?” “Why the fuck not, it’s Christmas?” I could see by the way his eyes hardened that he was in no way finished with me, but instead of lashing out, he turned around. "Spirit of Christmas and all that crap?” he asked, “Sure, why the fuck not?” He rummaged around in one of the drawers and pulled out a clumsily wrapped package. "Got you something." I looked down at it balefully. "It's not a bomb," Derek coughed. "And it's not going to jump out and bite you. I was just blowing off steam, Cole. It's been a while.” His voice dropped lower like the word pained him to say. “Maybe I just missed you was all." I took another look at my brother’s face. Time had worn deep

lines into grooves on his forehead, and there with the hints of shadow under his eyes I wondered if he had been sleeping well. I wondered if he had anyone taking care of him right now. "I got you something too,” I said, reaching into my duffel bag and pulling out the package. I hesitated before handing it to him, all of the sudden regretting the gift I had chosen back in New York. I had totally been showing off when I bought him the watch that matched mine. I wanted my big brother to be impressed. I wanted him to raise his eyebrows and turn the corners of his mouth down and make some remark about his baby brother, the big spender. But as I held it in my hand, my gift just kind of seemed tawdry, and cheap. What the hell was Derek going to do with a watch? What he really needed was something else entirely. But it was all I had, so I held it out to him. "Hey, thanks," my older brother remarked, taking the package and holding it in his hands. We both stood there awkwardly. "It's still only Christmas Eve," I observed. "So, we should wait till tomorrow or something?" “Fuck it. We're grown-ups now, right? We can open our presents whenever we damn well please." Derek chuckled. “Mom and Dad aren't even here to tell us otherwise," he said. I grinned at him, feeling that old, familiar bond. The two of us

conspiring against my parents, the family order settling into its natural alignment. ”Let's do it." But Derek held out his hand. ”We should celebrate the moment,” he said, smiling wider than I’d seen him smile yet. “But I don't drink anymore so I don't have anything celebratory, except...” He reached over and rummaged in the fridge. “Orange juice?” I laughed as he poured two tumblers out like shots. "An orange juice toast to commemorate the season." We clinked our glasses together and knocked back the juice like fake frat boys. Then both set to work silently opening our presents. Derek pulled his watch from the gift-wrapped box. “Hey, thanks. My watch just broke, actually. Good timing." He put it on without taking note of the finely tuned Swiss mechanism, or the smooth, fluid sweep of the second hand. He slung it on like it was an old Timex, and for some reason that made me far happier than any reaction I had imagined. "Okay. My turn," I said. I tore open the package and blinked to see a pair of gloves. Derek craned his neck to look at them. ”I figured you’d forget yours. You’re always fucking forgetting to pack gloves. And then your mooching ass wants to borrow mine. So I thought I’d preempt that.” I blinked, struck by the thought he’d given his gift. He wasn’t trying to impress me. He just thought about what I might need. I didn’t know what to do, so I punched him in the arm. “You know I'm going to

lose these immediately.” Derek nodded. “Oh I know, don't worry, they’re not that expensive, so I don’t give a fuck.” “You're right, you know. I totally did forget my gloves.” Derek raised his orange juice and silently toasted me. I cleared my throat. I hadn’t talked to my brother like this in months. Years, really. And I wasn’t ready to finish yet. The looming need to get to the bar, shake some hands, make my deal was still there in my head but it was surprisingly easy to shove to the side in favor of spending more time with him. Or maybe I could do both? "So, hey, uh, I thought I might head out to Autumn’s thing,” I said. “You want to come?” Derek’s mouth twisted oddly. “Bad idea for me to be at a bar. Especially around the holidays," he said. I winced. "Sorry man." He shook his head. "No need to be sorry, the holidays are hard. I think I’ll just have to sit this one out. I got my two-year chip last weekend.” "I know you did," I said softly “Yeah. So.” I fucking hated myself for asking, but... “Can you, uh, give me a

ride then?" Derek rolled his eyes. ”What? Your fancy driver doesn’t want to be seen at a shitty dive bar in the sticks?” It was my turn to roll my eyes. "He's not on the clock right now." He started rifling through the junk drawer. ”Sure I'll drive you, whatever. If I let you borrow my car you'd probably wreck it anyway, forgetting how to drive in the snow and all that." "Well, you see, in the city, we have these things called snowplows." "Yeah, whatever, they'll get to it. What about when you come home? You want to call me or something?" A picture of Autumn flashed across my mind, just a fleeting impression of her lips, the memory of her kiss seared into my flesh as deep as any scar. I shook my head to clear it. "With any luck, I'll find my own way home." He raised an expertly skeptical eyebrow. ”Autumn?” There was no use lying. I was certain my hopes were written all over my face. ”Yeah." Derek cocked his head to the side. ”You know she hates your guts, right?” I looked sharply at my brother, but he was already gathering his keys, having stated that fact as baldly as he always did. Derek had no

idea how to lie, or how to sugarcoat things, so if he said something, you knew it was the truth. I winced and looked down at my hands. She hadn’t seemed like she hated my guts. She’d invited me after all. But why would Derek lie when he knew how we left things, how broken I’d been when she left me? What if he was right? Why did I even think I had a chance again? Why was I even considering going after her tonight? We were done, over. If she wanted things to continue, she could've called me, come down to Philly, stayed in a dorm room. If she truly loved me, distance should not have mattered. And if I saw her tonight, I was going to say that to her face.

Chapter Four Autumn

“Did you pull in and then back out again, or am I just really drunk?” my mom asked me as I returned with the eggs. “You’re drunk,” I said lightly, kissing her on the cheek. “Here are the eggs.” “No,” my mom slurred. “You definitely pulled into the driveway and then peeled back out again like your hair was on fire.” “Left my phone,” I lied. My mom narrowed her eyes at me and I widened mine at her. My father wandered into the kitchen, took one look at the women in his life having an epic staring contest, and then turned around and walked back out. “Fine,” my mother declared. “Have your secrets. Get in here and help me with this batch, we’re falling behind.” I nodded, grateful for the distraction. Baking huge, assembly line batches of cookies should be enough to banish the glimpse of Cole’s dimple from my brain. My heart rate hadn’t yet returned to normal, and I was grateful for the steamy heat of the kitchen to disguise the blush in my cheeks.

I measured out the flour and the rest of the dry ingredients and held out the bowl for my mom to dump in the wet. “Grandpa’s going to be so happy,” she clucked. I grinned. “Hopefully it’ll cheer him up,” I said. “Otherwise I have no idea how I’m supposed to handle this property deal for him. He seems hell bent on saying no to everything I come up with.” “That’s because he doesn’t want to sell. Not really.” “I get that. It’s sad,” I sighed. “But it’s for the right reasons.” “Nursing homes are so expensive,” my mom seethed. “I hate that it’s come to this, but he just can’t stay in that house alone anymore. We need the money.” “We know and he knows, but he doesn’t have to like it.” “That’s why we’re making a big batch just for him,” my mother explained. “Gramps always does better with a belly full of sweets.” She grabbed a spoon and started mixing the batter. I pulled out the baking sheets, and my mind took the moment’s quiet to flit away from my upcoming role as power of attorney for my elderly grandfather and right back to my encounter in the convenience store. Fucking Cole. What the hell was he doing here? Eight years had done nothing to lessen the effect he had on me. If anything, he was even more gorgeous now, broader with a more manly set to his jaw. His hair no longer flopped boyishly into his face, but I knew that if I reached up and combed my fingers through those chestnut waves, they would still feel like silk. His hair was the same

but his body... that had grown up in the best way possible. Even though he had been covered nearly head to toe against the weather, there had been no mistaking the way he’d filled out... quite nicely. “Are you finished with your wrapping?” my mother asked, abruptly breaking into my thoughts. She was dropping the batter out in measured spoonfuls onto the greased baking sheets. “Uh,” I stammered, feeling like she had caught me in the middle of masturbating. I grabbed another baking sheet and mimicked her movements just to avoid her eyes. “I just have to wrap Dad’s.” “What’d you get me?” Dad called from the living room. “Lump of coal!” I called back. My dad muttered something about ingratitude, and my mom laughed and lowered her voice. “What did you get him?” “A leather-bound first edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy,” I whispered back. My mom widened her eyes. “Fancy!” “Ebay.” “He’s going to love it.” “I hope so. Hope he doesn’t think he has too many Tolkien books already.” My father was a huge J.R.R. Tolkien fan and had a shelf in the basement devoted to all of his works.

“Trust me, he won’t.” My mother sniffed. “I might. But he won’t.” She grabbed my finished sheet of cookies and opened the oven door, letting out a blast of heat. I laughed. My father and Cole had bonded over the Lord of the Rings movies when they came out. We’d watched the movies as a family, Cole and I snuggled under a blanket, his hand in mine. I used to love listening to his heart start racing under my ear during the exciting parts. I missed that. I missed him. Why was I missing him? “I saw Cole Granger at the Nice 'n' Easy,” I suddenly blurted. My mother shut the oven and froze in place. “He looked good,” I went on. My mother still said nothing. Fuck this out-of-place nostalgia, where was it coming from? It must be the Christmas season. That’s all. I needed to screw my head back on straight... “He’s still an asshole, though,” I continued, as much for my benefit as hers. My mother finally made a noise, although whether it was happy, angry or sad I had no idea.

But I was off and running with the rush of picking at an old wound. “He didn’t even call or anything, just fucking showed up out of the blue.” My mother cleared her throat. “Maybe he’s here for Christmas.” “I hope it’s the first fucking time and he hasn’t been coming for eight years and just not looked me up!” “Why, Autumn? What would that have done?” “Are you really taking his side?” My mom wiped a damp strand of hair away from her face, leaving a streak of white flour across her cheek. “Cole was a smart boy,” she said diplomatically. “Even though he could be really stupid too.” “Stupid, Mom? He was an asshole. And he probably still is an asshole.” “We’ve been over this, Autumn.” But my words were bearing down like a freight train, the same refrain I’d been spouting for eight years. The span of time had done nothing to soothe the raw wound in my heart that still ached every time I thought of Cole. “He’s an asshole. He said he loved me, promised me in fact. Yeah? Well if he loved me, he shouldn’t have left without me, goddammit.” “Autumn!” “Sorry for swearing, Mom.”

“I don’t give a shit about you swearing!” she wiped her hair back again, leaving a twin white streak on her other cheek like war paint. “I’m tired of listening to you delude yourself!” I took an involuntary step back. In all the years since Cole left Reckless Falls — left me — my mother had always listened to me as I ranted and raved against my first love. This was the first time she had ever said anything about delusion. And now I was pissed. “I’m deluded now, huh? Thanks a lot, Mom.” “Autumn,” my mom sighed, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose. Flour now caked her face in four different places, but I was feeling too spiteful to let her know. “You’ve created this sort of an alternate reality where leaving to go to college was all Cole’s idea, but honey? Didn’t you encourage him to go for it?” I swallowed. “I did, but when it came down to choosing which college to go to...” “You tried to trap him.” “What?” “You told him to apply!” she exploded. “He’s the first kid in his family to ever get to go to college and you were so proud of him! You told him to apply, he got accepted to a place that gave him a full ride, and then you hated him for taking your advice!” I took a deep breath. “He shouldn’t have left if he loved me.

Because he chose to leave instead of staying close to home, close to me... We could have had a family by now and I know how badly you want grandchildren and...” I wiped my eye and was surprised to see that my fingers came away wet. I was crying without even realizing. “Did you love him?” “Yes! You know that!” “I know, honey. And if you really loved him the way you said you did, you needed to believe in that love and not try to put him to the test. Now, honey, I love you more than life itself, but you were kind of a little shit to him back then. Putting him on the spot like that and giving an ultimatum. I raised you better than that, and you’ve grown up and gotten better, but on this issue honey, I’m afraid you’re not the victim.” Her harsh words were softened by the love in her eyes as she took hold of my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “You shouldn’t have tried to make him prove his love to you by giving up his future.” The oven timer buzzed. Something hollow echoed in my chest. I opened my mouth and then shut it, waiting for words to rise up in my defense. But I couldn’t find a single one. My mother took a deep breath, let me go and grabbed her oven mitt. “It worked out the way it was supposed to. though. In the end.” She opened the oven and pulled out the rack of chocolate chip cookies. “That boy was too arrogant and good-looking for his own good. He was only going to cause you trouble.” She scraped a cookie off the baking sheet with a spatula and held it out to me. “Here honey, have a

cookie. It’ll make you feel better.” It was still scalding hot from the oven and burned the roof of my mouth, but I devoured it anyway, hoping she was right.

Chapter Five Cole

The dulcet strains of Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” filtered out into the snow-covered lot. I shut the door of Derek’s car and stood there, listening to the hum of voices and the occasional shout of laughter. In my head, I knew each person who was in there. I heard Mr. Reese, Brynn and Callum’s grumpy, overworked father with a nose as red and pitted as a raspberry, shouting good-natured insults to the drunken revelers. I heard a laugh that sounded exactly like a ‘ho ho ho’ and immediately grinned to think of Jasper Beals who always grew out his white beard and wore a red jacket every Christmas just so he could freak out little kids who thought that he was Santa. That wild cackle that sounded like a Halloween witch had to be Flora Feathergill, the owner of the antiques place that attracted all of the rich yuppies from New York. I knew this town. I knew these people. I grew up here. I wasn’t one of the visiting yuppies from New York, no matter what my rented car and expensive watch might say. I was a local. I belonged here as much as any of them.

A shiver of insecurity, of the kind I hadn’t experienced since middle school, rippled through me. With a start, I realized I missed everyone. But would any of them actually be happy to see me again? Would Autumn be happy to see me again? When she invited me, I was feeling pretty confident. But out here in the cold lot with the door shut in my face, I wasn’t feeling nearly as cocky. She was in there with the people she’d grown up with, celebrating Christmas in the place where she belonged. Where did I belong? I stepped forward, determined to shake these maudlin thoughts. Go inside, have a drink and shake some hands. I was here on business, not pleasure, and I could always cut my losses and leave. This night didn’t mean anything, just another day on the calendar. I spent every other night of the year getting drinks with clients, sealing deals. Why should Christmas Eve... in my hometown... with the girl who broke my heart... be any different? Yeah. There was nothing special about this at all. My feet and my brain were not in agreement, though, so it took a Herculean level of effort to take that next step and the next. Sometimes when I was interested in a property, I would go visit dressed as a civilian and take in the scene. Chat up the security guards and receptionists, and try to get the real story on why the owner was selling. Tonight could follow the same script. I would just open the door and peek in, enter as unobtrusively as possible. That way I could feel out the temperature of the room before making myself known.

But a sudden stiff gale that seemed to come directly from the North Pole propelled me forward the last few feet. I threw open the heavy wood door and the wind caught it and sent it slamming into the wall with a resounding thwack. The whole bar went silent. “Holy shit,” a drunken female voice slurred from the back. “Is that Cole Granger?” “Hey everybody,” I called, taking off the gloves that Derek had gotten me. I’d grown up here. How had I forgotten to pack gloves for myself? “Um, Merry Christmas.” The first person to break free of the pack was Harper McCabe. She was a few years older than me and I knew she was visiting from out of town herself since she was a big children’s book author now. As she came up to me, I couldn’t help but notice that everyone was watching, ready to take her lead. “Cole!” she called, going in for a hug and a cheek kiss. “It’s so good to see you again! I heard you were in New York and I kept meaning to look you up...” “I know, it’s a big city,” I finished, smoothing over her guilt. “And I hear you’re not even there too often. Congratulations on the book tour!” “Oh you know about that?” she grinned, pride shining in her eyes. “I didn’t know you followed the children’s book scene.” “Well, Mrs. Collis probably believes your writing is at my reading

level,” I grinned. Reckless Falls’ High School’s English Department was presided over by Mrs. Molly Collis — more dragon than woman — who was famous for holding a grudge. Of course, being the idiot I was back then, I took her gruff hatred of teenaged boys on as a personal challenge and led Gil Aldridge’s cow up to the stairs to the third floor of the school. See, cows can go up stairs, but they can’t go back down again. They had to get a crane to lower the cow out a window. This only sealed my fate as an imbecile in her eyes — though I maintained it was pretty smart of me to woo a cow into a building like that — for the rest of my four-year career. Even my 4.0 GPA wasn’t enough to convince her I wasn’t illiterate. “Oh Mrs. Collis believes I’m a literary failure as well,” Harper pointed out. “Don’t listen to her. I think she thought I was going to write the next great American novel.” “Didn’t you?” “Gilly’s Garden had a 150-word vocabulary. So, um... no.” She cast her eyelids down for a second. “What brings you home for the holidays? Let me buy you a drink.” “Oh please, you don’t need to do that.” “Call it reparations for ratting you out all those years ago. I was more worried you’d fall than anything else.” “I was an idiot. I shouldn’t have been drinking on the water tower that night.” I was trying to get over Autumn, I didn’t say. Instead, I smiled widely. “I was just a mass of poor life choices back then.” But instead of laughing, she cocked her head to the side. “Have

you changed now?” Reflexively I licked my lips. “I like to think so.” She smiled and nodded, and then grabbed my arm, dragging me up to the bar. “Hey guys, make room for Cole!” she called to the assembled crowd. “Granger!” Sam Fitch was decked out in holiday-colored camo, which was something I didn’t even know existed but wasn’t surprised that he owned. He slid off his barstool and gave me a slap on the back, so big and broad that he took up my entire field of vision. “Careful New York, you’ve got mud on your shoes.” “Eat me, Fitch,” I shot back, giving him a slap that I was proud to see made his eyes water. “Have you ever even crossed county lines?” I grinned as the rest of the crowd laughed. Fitch looked like the hamster wheel in his brain was starting to smoke. “I went to Elmira once,” he retorted. “Yeah?” I smiled, shrugging off my jacket. It was pleasantly overwarm in here and I’d thawed to the point where I could close my fingers around a bottle of beer. “What did you think of Elmira?” Fitch wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Didn’t like it. I’m not a city guy. You like the city better than here, Granger?” A week ago I would not have hesitated. Of course I liked the city better, I would have said immediately. The city had culture, the city had restaurants, the city had clubs.

But now that I was back here, I couldn’t answer so quickly. “Yeah?” I drawled out. “I don’t know. They both have their good points.” “Yeah?” Fitch actually looked interested. He hovered close to me and seemed to expand so that I couldn’t see anyone else, a big, camocovered universe. I moved my hands, trying to grasp the words from out of thin air. “It’s really, um, noisy there,” I began. He was watching me so intently I felt oddly self-conscious. “And you’re never alone. Even when I’m alone in my apartment I can hear the guy who lives next door to me. He's really into salsa music. I forgot how nice it is just to have silence. Like you’re the only person in the world. “Yeah but the chicks man, big city chicks...” Fitch looked like he was ready to swoon. I licked my lower lip. There had been a sea of women in New York, all polished and perfect and career-driven. I’d had my fun, but the thought of actually sticking around never crossed my mind. Not like it had with Autumn. “I don’t know,” I said slowly. “I think the girls here are pretty great too.” “Hear hear!” Fitch roared, lifting his bottle. “Country girls!” There was an answering ‘woo’ from the back of the bar and all at once the Christmas music stopped and the bass started thumping. A cry of delight went up from the assembled girls and all at once everyone around me started heading to the small makeshift dance floor. “Country girls!” Fitch yelled even louder and made a beeline for

the dance floor. I grinned and looked around, suddenly able to see the whole place and all the assembled town without Fitch standing in my way. And, as if on cue, I saw Autumn. Her back was to me, but there was no way I could mistake that hair. Or the way she held her head slightly forward like she was eager not to miss anything. Or the way her hands had such long, elegant fingers that cut these swirling shapes in the air as she spoke. I used to tell her she had bird hands and she thought I was making fun of her, but I was trying to give her a compliment. Her hands soared and swooped like the gulls over the lake and before we even dated I used to try to talk with her just so I could watch her hands. Across the table was a girl with a familiar face, but then every face in this bar was slightly, vaguely familiar. I squinted a little, trying to place her. And that’s when she caught me. Her wide blue eyes narrowed and she bent to say something to Autumn who stiffened noticeably. “Brynn Reese!” I realized, a second too late. Autumn’s hands fluttered back down to her sides when Brynn told her I was here. Because what else could she have said while staring me down? I waited for a beat, but Autumn did not turn around to say hello. I sipped my beer, smiled at Fitch spastically dancing in the middle of the floor, and then chugged half my beer in one gulp.

Autumn still didn’t turn around. I moved a little closer. Brynn glared at me like I was something she'd found on the bottom of her shoe, but I barely noticed because I was too busy willing Autumn to turn around. I finished my beer, called for another and downed half of that one in one gulp too. Fuck it, why was I here? I was here because Autumn told me I should come. I thought... I didn’t know what I thought would happen, but I didn’t expect this. Shut out, frozen out, whatever the fuck she was pulling. This wasn’t like her. She didn’t hold grudges. Not against me. She was the one who told me I should go in the first place. Suddenly angry, I downed my second beer and ignored the flush of heat in my cheeks. I needed to talk to this girl. She was why I was here, and even though my brain was suddenly buzzing from drinking so quickly, I still figured it was better to talk to her then turn tail and go home to my brother’s freezing house. Alone in my hometown on Christmas Eve. No that wasn’t going to happen. Not to me. Not to Cole Granger. I grabbed one more beer for courage and I moved closer to Autumn.

Chapter Six Autumn

Brynn’s eyes were the size of saucers as she stared over my shoulder. “Is that Cole Granger?” she asked, then answered her own question with a sputtered, “Holy shit it is!” I looked down at my hands and back up again. “Yeah?” I said. I tried as best I could to sound surprised, I swear I did. But I had two strikes against me. One, that I was an open book about everything. Basically the worst poker player in existence. Every emotion that flits through my head also shows directly on my face. And the second strike was that Brynn was one of those people who could smell bullshit a mile away. One syllable was all she needed to know I was keeping a secret. She snapped back from staring open-mouthed at Cole and eyed me suspiciously. “You knew he was coming!” she accused me. I raised my eyebrows. “What?” I squeaked. “Are you trying to play coy with me?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She sat back and folded her arms over her chest. “I’m talking

about you seeing Cole Granger behind my back.” “Seeing him?” My voice crawled an octave higher. I sounded like Minnie Mouse. “Yeah, that only counts if you mean the word ‘see’ literally. As in, I saw him. Today. At the convenience store my mom sent me to so I could get more eggs for her disgusting nog.” “You’re a freak. Eggnog is delicious.” I sighed. “Every year I try it, thinking I must be crazy, I mean it looks like something I’d like, all creamy and frothy like that. “ I ignore Brynn’s smirk. “But every year I take a sip and gag. It’s disgusting and I don’t know why I keep trying to pretend otherwise.” “You’re trying to change the subject.” “Maybe.” “The answer to that should be, ‘change what subject?’ God you’re the worst liar in the world.” I took a sip of my drink and sighed. “I know,” I lamented. “It’s a fucking curse.” “So getting back on track here,” Brynn said impatiently. Her eyes were glued behind me, and I didn’t need to turn around to know she was staring at Cole. I could feel him behind me. My skin was magnetically alive and aware of his presence. It was very distracting. Distracting enough that it wasn’t until Brynn fell silent that I

realized she was waiting for an answer. “I’m sorry, what?” “Oh Jesus, I asked you how you were doing but I think I have my answer.” “How I’m doing? I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be fine?” Goddamn the hysteria in my voice making a liar out of me. “Because Cole Granger is five feet away from you.” “Yes.” “And you haven’t even looked at him.” “Yes.” “And he broke your heart into a million pieces and then left without saying goodbye.” I swallowed. “He said goodbye.” “In an email. A fucking Dear John letter.” It was true. “Dear Red,” it had started. “There are no words to describe how much I loved you...” I had deleted it before I could read any further. What was the use? He had left. He had already made his choice. “You loved him,” Brynn reminded me, her eyes still boring into

Cole like she was trying to turn him to stone like Medusa. ”But it was puppy love,” I protested, shredding the label on my beer bottle into teeny tiny pieces. These were words I had said so many times. A script I’d memorized and internalized until I believed myself. And believing it was true made it true, right? “We were just kids, it wasn’t a real relationship or anything. High school lovers in a small town high school? Please. It wasn’t love. It was convenience.” Brynn fixed me with those big wide eyes of her that most people made the mistake of thinking were innocent. Once you got to know her, you learned very quickly that there was nothing innocent about Brynn. I could tell by the way her eyes narrowed a little that she was fixing to slam me with one of her trademark punch-to-the-gut questions and squared my shoulders a little. I waited for her to gut me like my mother had, to tell me I was lying to myself, that Cole and I had something real, that I should have pushed harder instead of giving up. That we could have made long distance work, that Philadelphia wasn’t that far away from Reckless Falls, hell if anyone was stubborn enough to do it, it was me. I had my responses ready to all of these accusations. Since I’d already slung them at myself. But I still wasn’t prepared for what came out of her mouth. “So then why have you barely dated since he left?” “I have too!” I sputtered. “Everett?” “Oh please. You two had the chemistry of a dead fish. He’s a good, decent guy, but you two were a terrible couple and you know it.” It was true. The thing I loved most about Everett was that he put no pressure on me. At all. He’d go exactly as far as I wanted and never

push for more, which was exactly what I needed as I was recovering from heartbreak. He was repressed in a way that made me wonder if there was something else underneath his skin that he kept hidden. But if he did, I wasn’t the girl to find it. “Yeah, poor Rett. I told him I didn’t like sex, did I tell you?” “Really?” “Really.” “And he bought it?” “He’s so straight-laced that I don’t think he understands lying.” “That boy is a closet sex maniac just waiting to be unleashed, mark my words.” “Yeah, well....” “Well he’s not the reason you’re flushed bright red and breathing heavy right now, is he?” “What? I am not.” “You are. Your Cole-radar is going off.” “He’s that close?” “I think he’s coming over.” “Oh god.”

“No, I’m just messing with you.” “You’re a pain in my ass.” “Why won’t you talk to him, Autumn?” I twisted the bits of label in my hands and dropped them onto the table top that looked like it was undergoing a very localized snow squall. As I did, I tried to find an answer. I searched my brain for a response that made any sense whatsoever, but there were no words for what I was feeling. How could I explain why I was on high alert, like a zebra wandering past a pride of lions? I squirmed in my chair, frozen to the spot and burning with the desire to run away, get away from him and run shrieking out into the snowstorm and let the snowflakes sizzle on my overheated cheeks. Why did I want to grab him, and then fling him away, kiss him and then slap him across the face? Why was I still feeling this way after so many years? “Because...” I started lamely and then trailed off, still searching for how to tell Brynn that in spite of everything I had ever said about Cole Granger being an asshole, I didn’t actually believe it. I didn’t break things off with him out of anger. I did it because I loved him. He needed to go. The first member of his family to get into college and he gets into Penn with a full ride? That’s incredible. I needed him to concentrate. To do well. To make me proud. Then maybe, someday in the future, our paths would cross again and we could pick up where we left off. Maybe. I wasn’t counting on it, though. When he walked out that door without saying goodbye, I honestly hoped I’d never see him again. I never counted on him coming back.

“He shouldn’t have left,” I finally stammered. Brynn’s eyes darted upward and I wondered how close Cole was to us now. Did he hear me? Oh god, he must have. Could the ground open up and swallow me now? I shifted in my chair and started backtracking immediately. “Yeah I thought that back then, but really, how could I make that demand? He got that scholarship, he’s so damn smart, it was right for him to leave. I was being selfish as hell.” Brynn’s eyes softened. “You were a teenage girl in love, of course you were selfish.” “Still, it’s no excuse.” “Sure it is,” a deep voice said over my shoulder.

Chapter Seven Cole

She whirled around with her mouth open, those perfectly pink lips making such a kiss-ably shocked round ‘o’ that it was all I could do not to kiss her with everything I had. Instead, I stood there with my hands shoved in my pockets to keep myself from reaching out to grab her. “How long have you been here?” she demanded. “Here, at the bar? About ten minutes.” “No, I mean, how long have you been listening to me talk?” I flicked my eyes up at Brynn, who pursed her lips together and took a sip of her drink. She hadn’t warned Autumn as I got close enough to hear them discuss me. I owed Brynn a drink as a thank you. Probably several. “Long enough,” I said. “You...” “Autumn, come dance with me.” “What?” She looked scandalized and excited at the same time. Watching Autumn fight with her emotions sent me right back in time to the moment when I last saw her, smiling and blinking back tears as

she told me to go to college, that she was breaking up with me for me. I thought that was what she wanted. I thought I was making her happy by walking away. But now I heard that she’d been just as miserable as I was without her and the weight of the years knocked me down to one knee. “Please,” I begged her. “Just a dance.” I reached out my hand and goddammit I still fucking loved her. Her long, elegant fingers slipped into my palm and I closed my hand around hers before she could get away. “Cole,” she began as I pulled her to me. “It’s nothing major, Autumn. I just want to talk.” I tried to bring her closer, but I misjudged her footing. She lurched to the side and for one, brief, beautiful moment, her perfect breasts were pressed against my arm. All I would need to do was move my hand a fraction to cup one in my palm. Instead, I froze and let her step away. Her eyes were accusing, but I feigned my innocence and hoped like hell she wouldn’t look down and spy the raging boner I was now sporting “You want to talk?” Her voice was muffled against her hand as she covered her mouth and looked away, and part of me wondered if she was laughing about the inadvertent tit-grope. Back in the day, she would have thought it was hilarious. She composed herself and allowed me to lead her — gently and with no more near tit-grabs — away from the table and into a quieter section of the bar. I didn’t try to sit with her. I knew she needed a chance to walk away from me.

She took a deep breath and looked up and I saw her grit her teeth. “Okay. So we’re talking. I’ll talk first then.” She pushed her hair behind her shoulder. “How is New York?” I cleared my throat. Small talk. Okay. I could do small talk. “Big.” She blinked “That’s it?” I was grinning like an idiot, so wide my cheeks were aching. “I don’t really want to talk about me,” I told her, feasting my eyes on the way her red hair glinted in the low light of the bar. Her grin was wicked. “Well there’s a first.” “Atta girl.” I leaned against the wall. “What’s been up with you, Autumn?” “You want me to sum up eight years in one sentence?” “How about the last six months?” “Busy,” she said shortly. Then her voice softened. “The kids are fun.” “Tell me, do teachers have favorites?” “Oh, absolutely!” I pretended to be shocked. “You’re supposed to lie to me and tell me that you are completely diplomatic and professional.” “Why?”

“Because now I know my teachers really actually did hate me.” Now she was laughing. “Just Mrs. Collis.” “Oh god, it was that noticeable?” “Well, you did let a fucking cow loose in our school!” She was laughing even harder now. “It was just that one thing!” I protested. “I was only a freshman, I was trying to make my mark!” “Kind of cemented your reputation, though, didn’t it?” I shrugged. “Yeah, guess so.” She blinked those perfectly blue eyes of hers. “You were really smart, though,” she said, her voice just a little bit softer. My whole body ached with wanting to kiss her. I had to look away. “Were?” I said, pretending to be petulant to disguise how badly I needed her. “Well, tonight’s not exactly been a shining moment of intellectualism. So far you’ve had a few drinks and tried to feel my tits.” “I think trying to feel your tits is the smartest thing I’ve ever done.” “Oh, he still thinks he’s so charming.” Her voice was mocking but she was smiling.

I looked at her. “I don’t actually really think that anymore.” “What?” “That I’m so charming.” “Um...” “You asked me how New York is.” I reached out and took a lock of her red hair in my hand. She gasped and held her breath as I twirled it in the low light, loving the way the colors glinted like fire. “I’ll tell you how it is. It’s lonely.” She gently took the piece of hair from my hand and tucked it back behind her ear. “You don’t have a ton of friends? Come on, Cole, you can’t expect me to believe that.” I cleared my throat and as I talked I realized I was telling the truth. “I have... colleagues. Work buddies. Associates. Networking partners. I have a bunch of people who I use to get ahead and who use me in the exact same way. It’s a little... soulless.” She was silent but her eyes were soft. Friendly. Knowing. She understood me better than anyone ever had. I took her hand. “It’s been a long, long time since I just talked to someone about... nothing.” “Are we talking about nothing?” she asked. I nodded. “Is that okay with you?” “It actually is.”

“Merry Christmas, Autumn.” “Merry Christmas, Cole.” “Autumn?” I drew a circle around her white wrist. “Dance with me?”

Chapter Eight Autumn

It was something beyond thinking that propelled me into his arms. More instinct than rational thinking, more primal. My body moved to press against him out of something very close to muscle memory and we fit together the way we always had. My head on his shoulder, his lips against my forehead, my arms around his neck just aching to pull him down for a kiss. We stayed that way for a long while, swaying to the music, turning in place three full rotations before I finally heard him murmur into my hair. Or rather, I felt his lips against my forehead, the shape of the words against my skin. “I’ve missed you so goddamn much.” I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened to come and instead I blinked. I didn’t say anything back. I didn’t think I could talk without crying, so I stayed quiet, but Cole made a low murmuring noise of assent that told me he understood exactly what I wasn’t able to say. I felt him tug us a little, and I stumbled off-beat. “What are you doing?” I asked. Even as we spun in slow circles, I could feel the press of his hand in the small of my back, leading us... somewhere. I couldn’t see over his shoulder, and part of me didn’t care. Part of me just wanted to drift in the bliss of being in his arms again. I still fit against him so snugly, the

years hadn’t changed that. And his hands still knew my body., even after all these years he still touched me with the authority of being the first everything in my life. First crush, first kiss, first lover... He tugged again. ”What are you doing?” I demanded as he leaned us even further to the left. “Nothing. Don’t look up.” So, of course, I craned my neck upwards. And nearly burst out laughing “Are you trying to drag me under the mistletoe?” He grinned that grin. “I thought it was worth a shot.” “How cheesy are you?” “Hey!” he protested. “I really want to kiss you right now, but I’m still afraid either you or Brynn is going to castrate me the first chance you get. So I figured mistletoe would be a good cover.” “You think I want to castrate you?” He looked down. “Hell, I would if I were you.” “Cole.” “Stop. We don’t need to do this. I’ve missed you so goddamn much, Autumn.” I felt my body craning for him, seeking him even before my brain kicked in and wondered what I was doing. Why was I kissing him? Why were my lips sliding against his, parting to let his tongue sweep

against mine? Why were my hands reaching up and gripping his shoulder, pulling him down to meet me and deepen the kiss? Why did he still know exactly how to touch me, the way to cup my face in his hands, holding me tightly to him? Why was he here? Why did I spend so much time hating him when it was clear I still loved him with all my heart?” He pulled back and smiled, then glanced upward with a devilish grin. “Mistletoe is way over there, still.” He snaked his hand around my waist and lifted me with one arm. I squealed as he moved us directly under the hanging branch. “I want to kiss you right here too.” This time when he kissed me, I didn’t think about anything other than how right it was that we were together again. Even if just for tonight, just for the holiday, it was still the sweetest present I could have asked for. A chance to do it over again and make it right. Cole pulled back again and kissed my forehead. “You want to go somewhere with me?” he asked. I was so content in his arms I was practically purring. I looked up at him, feeling oddly sleepy and sedated. “Why? Where are you going?” He looked me in the eye. “Home.” I felt like someone poured cold water on my head. I pulled back from him. “You mean to New York?” He chuckled at my shocked reaction. “No! I mean to my house.” His mouth twisted oddly and he reiterated. “Or rather, the house I grew up in.” He looked down. “I need to see it. Feels weird to be here

and not go over there anyway. But I don’t think I can go alone.” All the alcohol must have gone to my head. Mind you, I only had one, but I had to be completely drunk. It’s the only explanation for why I said, “Okay.”

*****

In the few hours I’d spent inside Reese’s Pub, the weather had deteriorated. I maneuvered my car along the slippery roads, concentrating all my attention on the yellow lines in front of me and trying my damnedest to ignore the fact that Cole Granger was sitting in the seat next to mine. He cleared his throat so as not to startle me when he started speaking. “I forgot how fucking dark it gets up here,” he said, craning his neck to look out the window and up at the dark sky. “I don’t think I’ve used high beams in, well, years.” “Remember doing this?” I asked. I switched on the high beams. The light reflected off the bombarding flakes as we flew through the night, making us look like we were zooming through the universe at warp speed. “Oh my god,” he breathed. There was something so... hearttwisting about his childish wonder. “I forgot it did that! They look like they’re coming straight for you! When Fitch, Ben Dailey and I used to drive around all bored, Ben used to turn on the high beams like that to wig Fitch out. He’d get so angry yelling at him to shut it off shut it off

and we’d just laugh because we were stupid asshole teenagers and we had nothing but time.” He paused for a second, lost in the memory. “I wonder how Ben is doing?” I licked my lips. “He died, Cole.” His stricken face shone in the reflection of the headlights. I nodded. “In Iraq, back in 2010.” “Jesus, he was only...” “Twenty.” “Shit, when I was a kid I used to think it was adults who went off to war, now that I’m older I realize it’s just a bunch of idiot kids.” “I’ve thought that too.” “Shit, I can’t believe I lost track of Ben.” “You guys were good friends.” “We were. I... shit.” We drove in silence for a moment. The sadness dragged heavily between us. The part of my heart that still belonged to him — the small, bruised part — ached like a phantom limb and I mindlessly reached out and grabbed ahold of his fingertips, squeezing them tight. This time when I saw his face reflected in the passing car’s headlights, it was stretched into a smile.

“You remember how to get to my parents’ place?” he asked. “You think I could forget the way? I practically lived over at your place.” “So then maybe you ought to slow down, speed demon?” “Oh, tough guy, am I making you nervous? Your city ass can’t handle driving in the snow anymore.” “Nah see, down there we have things called plows.” “They’ll get to it when the storm’s over.” “What happens if there’s an emergency?” “Then you call you friend who has a plow attachment on his truck and you follow behind him. He looked down at his hand. “Yeah.” “Everybody looks out for each other, Cole.” “Yeah.” “You miss it, don’t you?” “I never realized. But... yeah, I do.” I made the turn on autopilot. No one had been by to plow the drive, but I gunned the engine and we slid down the sloped drive to the A-frame house that nestled in a hollow, off the main road. I turned

my engine and headlights off and we sat for a moment, lost in the memory of this place. The snow still fell thick and fast, but the stars shone through the gaps in the clouds, so the storm would be over soon. And the town would wake up to a beautifully blanketed world on Christmas morning. Cole took a deep breath. “Let’s go in,” he said. The snow squeaked under our boots. I followed behind Cole, careful to step in his footprints, letting him blaze a trail through the dark. He was holding his cell phone aloft like a torch, and I had to stifle my grin in my scarf. Even when citified, you couldn’t beat a country boy’s ingenuity. The house was dark and silent. I looked up as it loomed out of the darkness, a series of sharp lines and right angles against the jumbles of forest behind it. No one had been here in quite a while. “Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?” I called to Cole. His breath wreathed up in ribbons around his head. “It’s my house!” he called behind his shoulder, sounding amused. “It’s your parents’ house,” I reminded him. “And they’re not here.” “It’s my house,” he repeated, more firmly now. “I grew up here. See?” he jingled something in his hand. “I still have a key.” We trudged forward a few more paces and suddenly the entire world was ablaze. When the pain in my retinas subsided I saw that the motion sensor lights had kicked on.

“Well. That makes it easier,” Cole laughed and looked down at the keys in his hand, picking out the right one. “Do they know you have that?” I wondered. “Unless they forgot they gave it to me when I was ten, then yes.” “You’re impossible.” “I’m charming. You told me that.” “And you said you didn’t believe it anymore.” “Maybe you’re helping me believe it again. Maybe all I needed was a few moments alone with the only girl who ever looked me in the eye and called me on my bullshit.” “What bullshit is that?” He swallowed, blinked. “I should have never left you behind.” Before I could say anything more, he pushed open the door and let us both inside. For a second, I stood there in the quiet, dark kitchen, trying to resolve the Granger house that lived in my memory with the one that I saw here now. Quiet and musty and covered in dust. I sneezed, and then shivered. “Oh my god, it’s freezing in here.” Cole chuckled as he took off his gloves and shed his peacoat. “Well, it’s warmer than outside.”

“Barely.” He walked around to the living room and checked the thermostat. “It’s forty-five degrees,” he protested. “Right,” I said. “Sure, that’s downright balmy.” My teeth chattered. “Would you like me to turn on the heat, Princess?” I stuck out my tongue at him. “Only if you think it won’t be too much trouble.” He came over and tugged on my sleeve. “If it’ll make you take off that ridiculous parka.” “Make it warm enough so that I can’t see my breath and I’ll consider it.” I’d never seen him move so fast. I burst out laughing, and my breath froze in a ring of mist around my face. I was giddy and half drunk and felt like a crazy high schooler again. A crazy high schooler who was head over heels in love with the worst guy imaginable.

Chapter Nine Cole

Having her here in my kitchen... I had to walk around, move away from her. I stalked around the house proprietorially, all manly-protector, to distract from the storm that was raging inside my head. I must have flipped on every light in the house before I noticed Autumn staring at me, grinning. “Aren’t you parents going to wonder about the sudden spike in their electric bill?” she asked. “For one night?” I shook my head. “No way. Besides, we’re the Grangers. It’s a sure bet that we’re not the only squatters this place has seen over the last few months. I'm sure one of my no-account cousins came here for some good old fashioned underage drinking.” “Well, they cleaned up okay.” “And that’s the important thing.” I looked up and saw she was smiling at me. She was so fucking perfect it wasn’t fair. The way her eyes shone at me made me want to run out into the woods and conquer something for her. Climb to the top of a mountain and claim it in her name. I wanted to be worthy of her again.

But all I could do was stare into her eyes, grinning like an idiot over finding her again. She grinned too. Then she shivered. I snapped out of my reverie. “Want me to build a fire while we wait for the heat to kick in?” I expected her to ask me how long she thought we were staying. I didn’t know the answer myself. All I knew was I wanted to keep here with me. Here in this house where we’d been happy together. Before college and adulthood and all the expectations wedged their way between us. Before we grew up and let life get in the way. But she didn’t say that. Instead she shivered again and said, “Sure.” Maybe she was thinking the same thing I was? I didn’t dare hope. Instead, I turned around and opened the flue, deftly making a pyramid out of kindling. I balled up the pieces of old newspaper, ones with headlines about record breaking hot temperatures, and stacked them underneath the sticks. “You still know your way around a wood stove,” Autumn observed. I hadn’t realized she was watching me.

I sat back on my heels, then leaned forward to blow gently on a piece of kindling. A tongue of flame licked upward and the newspaper sparked and burned into ash, the embers rising upward as the flames caught hold. “I’d better,” I said, closing the flue halfway. “I built a fire in this stove every night for eighteen years.” Autumn knelt next to me and gave me a shove with her shoulder. “Except in summer,” she teased, extending her hands to the warmth. I gave her a small shove back. “Okay if you want to be a stickler then, I built a fire in this stove every night for nine years. Happy?” Her eyes glittered mischievously. “Very.” I took a deep breath and stared into the flames rather than meet her eyes. “I haven’t changed that much, Autumn. I still remember where I came from.”

Chapter Ten Autumn

As soon as he said that, he jumped up again, like he’d been scalded, but his words hung in the air for one heartbeat, then another, then another. He reappeared with a wool blanket under his arm. “Hey, get up a sec?” he asked. I moved out of the way and let him shake it out and lay it on the floor, right up at the edge of the wood stove platform. I knelt down and spread my hands in front of the fire. “Are you warm enough?” he asked. “No,” I shivered. He grabbed another blanket from the trunk. It smelled like musty wool, a strangely comforting scent, and tossed it over his shoulders. Then he knelt down next to me and slung it over mine. “How about now?” Heat that had no business gathering in my core gathered anyway. “Better,” I said. It came out more like a sigh. “How about now?” He folded his arms around me and pulled me

closer. “A little bit.” “How about now?” This time there was no question in my head as to why I was kissing him. I was just kissing him back as hard as he was kissing me, with all the pent up urgency of the eight long years I had missed kissing him. I kissed him to make up for lost time. “Autumn, fuck,” he whispered against my lips. “Merry fucking Christmas. Fuck.” I laughed against his chest. “Merry fucking Christmas to you too.” “This is the best present I could have asked for.” Some little devil inside of me, the same one that made me laugh when Cole pulled the cow prank, suddenly took over my tongue. “The best one you could have asked for? Wow, you’re more easily satisfied than I remember.” His eyes darkened and he pulled back from me. “I didn’t know we were exchanging wish lists.” “We can. It’s Christmas Eve.” “Have you been naughty or nice?” "Don't naughty girls get a lump of coal in their stocking?"

He waggled his eyebrows. "I can put that lump of Cole where ever you'd like. Have you been naughty? “Actually, I was pretty nice up until you came back into the picture.” He smirked a small expression of relief that there hadn’t been too many guys after him. Or at all. I looked down at my fingers and blushed. “How about you?” “I’ve been so much nicer than you’d believe.” “You’re right, I wouldn’t believe it.” “Well, you should, Autumn. There’s no one like you. You’re it. I knew it, but I didn’t want to believe it.” “Yeah?” “Yeah. Now tell me what’s on top of your wish list. Good girls deserve presents.” “Best things come in small packages they say.” “Ain’t nothing small about this package,” he said with a cocky grin. “Why don’t you tell me what’s on your list?” I asked him “Since you claim you haven’t been naughty.” “No, I haven’t been naughty.” The way he looked at me had me unable to catch my breath. “But I’m about to be very naughty.” His voice was so low that I leaned in to hear him. His lip brushed against

my ear lobe as he murmured, “At the top of my wish list? I want to see you spread on this blanket like a present under the tree. I want to see those tits of yours and kiss them until those pretty pink nipples get all hard under my tongue.” I bit my lip as his mouth moved lower, his breath warm against my neck. “I want to spread those creamy thighs of yours and lick you until you lose your mind. I want to watch you grab this blanket and hold on for dear life as I fuck you, because Autumn baby, that’s the number one wish on my list. I want to see if you feel as good as you do in my memories. I want to come home for Christmas.” He covered my mouth with his before I could utter a single word. My mind skipped and dove like a retreating dolphin leaving no rational thought left in its wake. All I had left was sensation, desire and the desperate need to feel him again. I needed him, he was ingrained in me, a part of my DNA, as much as my red hair and freckles. He was a part of me, a part I had so desperately tried to cut out, and he was here again, real under my fingers, warm under my touch. It was so unbelievable as to be otherworldly and for one second I truly did believe in the magic of the season. Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

Chapter Eleven Cole

Eight years had changed the shape of her that I felt underneath my fingertips. She was a woman, fully a woman now, with generously curved hips, and high, rounded tits and that feeling of touching her, the same skin I remembered in a shape entirely new to me was so exciting and thrilling that I almost lost what little control I still had. "Every day, Autumn,” I exhaled, tracing the lines of her body over and over again. I couldn't get enough of how new and familiar she was at the same time. "Every damn day I thought about you." "Then why didn't you call?" She punctuated that demand with a low shriek as I moved my hand down into the soft space in between her legs. Instead of answering, I concentrated on moving my fingers in slow, rhythmic circles, watching the way her hips arched and fell with each stroke. I was glad she was distracted because I didn't have an answer. Why hadn't I called? What stupid pride had kept me away from my home town, away from this? This girl of my dreams turned woman of my fantasies. Stupid pride, a shallow headstrong desire to prove that I was better than this town, that I was too special to be just another hometown boy who fell in love with a girl and never tried for anything more. I was a cocky asshole hell bent on leaving my town and the wonderful, familiar people in it, behind. I wanted to believe I didn't

need them, when in reality they were what was missing in my life for eight long years. Angry at myself, I yanked harder than I meant to and her jeans made a popping noise as the seam split. Her eyes flew open, but I moved my hand, swirling my thumb up and over the tight little pearl of her clit, and she moaned and closed her eyes again. I loved the way she still sounded exactly the same. Her moans were low and breathy, like she was trying very hard to keep under control. Like she was trying to keep her voice down so her parents wouldn't catch us. But we were alone now, finally alone, maybe for the first time. I couldn't even remember because my brain was so wrapped up in the sounds she was making now, louder and louder, she was losing control now and it was the best damn thing to hear her stop moaning and start to scream. My pulse thudded in my temples, my blood rushed to my cock and when she came, I swear to God I nearly lost it right along with her, completely and utterly shattered over the way she called my name. It seemed like we were crossing some divide, some years-long chasm between us was closing. Because I knew this woman, I knew her. She was Autumn and there had never been a girl like her. In the second it took for her cries to subside, I dove between her legs, burying my face in the scent of her and tasting the pleasure that already pooled there. She moaned again, arching herself into my tongue and I let her take over, grinding out her frenzied need against my mouth, letting her lose control again. All at once I was an addict and I needed to hear those shattering cries, louder this time, the sounds she made when I knew she was completely and truly losing control.

"Jesus Christ!” Her voice was shuddering and heavy. "You've picked up a trick or two in the past eight years!" I grinned up at her, and I'm not going to lie, it did my ego good to see how completely wrecked she was looking. Damp strands of hair were pressed flat against her flushed cheek, her spectacular tits were flushed rosily, and her freckles stood out from her milky skin like a constellation of inverted stars. I leaned down and kissed each one of them that I could before I moved to cover her mouth with mine. She arched up in to the kiss, her skin warm from the fire and with her red hair she looked like fire itself, gorgeously aflame. "I'm a fucking idiot," I sighed. She opened her eyes, regarding me with no judgment in her eyes, but with no confusion in them either. She knew exactly what I was thinking, even as I was realizing it myself. "When I left, when you told me I should go, I thought... I thought you were telling me it was over." "It's never been over," she whispered with a heavy sigh that told me exactly what it was costing her to admit that. "I wanted so badly for it to be over, but it never ever ended for me, Cole.” "Me either." "So what do we do now?" "Right now?" I leaned upward and threw my shirt up over my head. "Right now, we make up for lost time."

Chapter Twelve

Autumn

Lost time. Fuck, the lost time. So many years wasted, but right now... right now I had him. Each second stretched out into infinity as he kissed down, lower and lower. He seemed to want to cover every inch of my skin, claim it as his, even though it never wasn't. It had always been his, I had always been his, his, his.... When he drove into me, in one smooth, silky stroke, we both gasped. I saw his eyes — alive in the dark, dancing in the flame — open wide in wonder as he looked down to where we were joined. I raised my head and looked too, but I could only hold my head up for so long before the intense, overwhelming sensation sent me falling backward onto the blanket. "Yes," he hissed. "That's it, you feel... You feel the same. Do you feel that? Do you feel the way we fit together, Autumn? Doesn't it feel the same to you?" "It feels... Better... Oh!" I gasped. He rumbled a deep laugh. "That's right, that's what this is, it's better. It's going to be so much better. We're where we should be right? Tell me this is right? Tell me this is something and not just a pity fuck. Tell me we can do this over again, that we can do this right. Because I, I promise, I swear to fucking Christ, I'm ready to start over again." I closed my eyes as his words washed over me, an avalanche of

emotion crashing through me and washing up against the overwhelming sensations that were flooding my veins. This was real, there was no way I was feeling so much and it wasn't real, but there was such a sense of fantasy too. All of my secret, unasked for hopes over the past eight years finally coming true? How? How could this be happening? And on Christmas Eve, too. This wasn't the movies. This was my real life, this was true, he was here, he was... "Oh my God!” The orgasm took me by surprise, tearing through me like wildfire, burning through me until I was nothing but ash and flame, the whole blaze burning down around me as I cried out, vision blurring so that I could only see him, could only see Cole, and watch him watch me as we both fell apart together. I pulled him to me, melting into the sweetness of his kiss. He pulled back and looked at me, searchingly. “Well?” “Well?" "I asked you a question." I grinned and rubbed my hands over my face. "What was the question?" He grinned, his white teeth gleaming in the firelight. "I'm sorry, I guess you were a little distracted?" "A little." He pulled away and rolled to the side, then reached over to brush his hand over my breasts. ”We’ve gotten a little better at that, Red."

"A little?" "Well, I mean you must've had some practice." "If we’re telling the truth, most of the practice was with my own fingers.” He laughed, falling back onto his back. "Same,” he said, wiping tears of laughter form his eyes. “Thinking about you, though. I was at least pretending it was your hand." "My hand?" "We were in high school, Autumn." I nodded, blushing with understanding...and memories. "You felt my hand more than anything else, really." He sat back up again. "But I wanted more. I wanted everything you had to give me. Anything that you were ready to offer, I was ready to take. I was ready to give.” He cleared his throat and took my hand in his, entwining his fingers with mine. “I was ready to stay.” I shook my head slightly. "I didn't want you to stay." I saw his Adam's apple bob in the shadow as he swallowed and nodded. “I know you didn't. And I love you for that." "You love me..." I repeated, making sure he was using the correct tense. He nodded. "Always have."

“And... you’re here now." "I'm here now." ”Why are you here?” He shook his head. "Actually, I'm here on business." I pressed my lips together. I didn’t want him to see how my hopes had just fallen. "Business?" I repeated He nodded, but some of the gleeful joy had gone out of his eyes. "Your grandfather's land, actually." I sat up. "You're the real estate developer guy?” He sat up all the way and I couldn’t help but notice how he dropped my hand. “Is that a problem?” My heart was racing fast enough to catch up with my confusion. ”No, I mean yes, I mean why didn't you tell me?" "It didn't exactly seem relevant. What with all the...” he moved his hands between us, “reconnecting we were busy doing." "Cole,” I said slowly. “You’re here to make an offer for my grandfather's land.” I felt like I had to speak slowly as if to a child. "Yes, I believe I may have just mentioned that." "You're not meeting with my grandfather, though.“

"No. Family representative, though. Is it your uncle?" I felt like everything was crashing down over my head. "No, Cole,” I said, suddenly tired. "It's me.”

Chapter Thirteen Cole

"Mornin’,” my brother mumbled as he walked past me without looking, scratching his belly on his way to the coffee pot. I snorted. "Merry Christmas, Wreck." My brother didn’t turn when he heard his nickname, but I did see his shoulders shake, just a little. Derek had earned that nickname quite legitimately after he totaled his third car in three months back when we were teenagers. Even our uncle, the head mechanic at the hoitytoity foreign car dealership that catered exclusively to the vacationer market had no idea how he did it. "Boy, I will pay you money to stay outside of a mile radius of my garage," he opined that Christmas a decade ago. "You are like Armageddon for cars." “Car-mageddon?" I had asked, thinking myself pretty clever, but only earning withering stares from both my uncle and my brother. Derek finished pouring his coffee and turned around to see me sitting there at the kitchen table with my empty coffee cup. He startled a little. “Well,” he said, as casually as could be. "You look like crap." I leaned back and dragged my hands down my face. "I feel like crap," I said. "Too much partying last night?" My brother swore he had no

judgment for those who still partook, but there was always just a little smidgen of judgment in his voice when he asked me these sorts of questions. "I was up too late,” I corrected him. "Only had two beers." "I thought I heard you come stumbling around three in the morning." "Sorry about that." "No worries, you had some reconnecting to do. Been too long since you came back here, little bro." I winced. Every single person in Reckless Falls seemed to be conspiring against me to remind me of that fact. "Yeah,” I sighed. “I had some reconnecting to do." I could still feel Autumn's skin against mine, the slide of her silky smoothness again my own skin seemed to be burned into my core. I was afraid to shower, because it would be erasing the sensation that still lingered there. But maybe I needed to do exactly that. When I had left last night, she wasn't talking to me, sitting in stony silence in the driver’s seat, her beautifully plump lips pursed tightly like she had tasted something sour. I hadn’t understood why she was so pissed at me and I kept trying, trying as hard as I could, to knock down the wall she’d thrown up between us. After all, it was good that my firm had business in town. It would mean I was coming back. A lot. And if we worked

together to get her grandpa the best price, well then, what could possibly be wrong with that? “Cole,” she’d finally said as we pulled into my brother’s darkened drive. "Stop." "Stop what?" I’d demanded. I felt my voice rising, I had this desire to fight something and I didn't know what it was. I had just found her again, just found her after missing her for so long. I had just realized, just then — with the revelation still fresh in my brain — that she was the one. The one for me. And now she was telling me that something was standing in our way? I never took well to being told I couldn't have what I wanted. I realized with a start that my brother was waiting for me to finish talking and that I had sort of trailed off in mid-sentence. I took a deep breath. Fuck it. “I was with Autumn,” I finally blurted. Derek's raised eyebrows were the only indication of his feelings. “She's pissed at me." "No kidding," Derek deadpanned. "I mean, she’s pissed now, but she wasn’t, uh... she wasn’t when we were....” Derek cut me off. “Oh shit.”

I leaned back again. “Yeah." “So why is she pissed? Did she find out you only came back to try to lowball her grandpa on that piece of property that’s been in their family for generations?" I looked up sharply. "Who ever said anything about lowballing?" Derek spread his hands. “Well? Isn't that what you guys do down there in your fancy offices in New York? You guys aren’t local, you don't know the history of that land or what it means to the town to have it stay undeveloped. All these people coming in and snatching up pieces of the lake, erecting barriers so the rest of us can’t enjoy the view that’s been ours since our ancestors first settled here. You guys just want to come in and carve it up for a profit.” "What the hell, man? I grew up here just as much as you did." "And you left as soon as you could." "I had a scholarship! I went to college!” "Yeah, I know. I was really proud of my little brother. First one our family to actually go and get that piece of paper. But I didn't think it would give you amnesia." I turned back to my coffee, hurt and angry beyond anything I had expected to feel. “Fuck you, Derek,” I spat. ”And Merry Christmas to you too, Cole.”

Chapter Fourteen Autumn Four days later

He was parked at the far side of the lot, leaning against the hood of a rental car, looking out over the icebound lake. Little rivers of melt water ran underneath the surface of the ice, spreading out patterns that always reminded me of fireworks, fingers and tendrils that looked so beautiful, but carried a hidden danger underneath. There hadn’t been any deaths this year, or the year before that, but the year prior, Casey Langley's dad punched through the ice during a midnight icefishing run. Some said it must have been a suicide, why else would an experienced guy like Mike go out after a thaw like that, but Casey swore her dad would never do such a thing, leave her mom like that. It was one of those mysteries that tugged at the seams of a community, little tragedies that made up the fabric of our town. Woven in sorrows and joys too. Like when I'd come down here to my Grandpa's property with Cole, the night we both graduated from high school. He’d spread my blanket out on the sandy shore — much like he'd done on Christmas Eve — and laid me down beneath him. It had been the first, and the last time we’d made love, right up until a few days ago. And I'd always remember the look on his face as moved above me, a mixture of pure animal rawness and almost reverent desire. He’d looked at me that way Christmas Eve, too.

He hadn't seen me pull up yet, which gave me a moment to take in his long figure. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his peacoat and he had a gray scarf wrapped around his neck. It looked expensive. Like cashmere, or maybe silk. I couldn't tell, I couldn't afford those types of fabrics on my kindergarten teacher salary. I tried very, very hard not to get angry about that cashmere scarf, and instead chose to be angry at him again. And angry at myself for letting him in again. Eight years had gone by and I was still having to cut Cole out of my heart the way you slice a bruise off an otherwise good apple. How could he forget everything he came from? And worse, how could I keep making excuses for why that was all okay? As I watched, he snatched the woolen cap off of his head and ran his fingers through his air. The weak sun filtering through the tree branches was enough to enliven the highlights of auburn that hid like secrets within his chestnut hair. My mother had crowed so much about that hair. “You and that boy," she’d said. “You’re gonna give me grandbabies with the most beautiful hair in the world." She’d said that as she played with her own ditch water blonde locks. "Sure as hell ain't fair for hair like that to be wasted on a man." “Wrong, mama,” I whispered in my brain. “It's not wasted.” I took a step forward, and as my boot crunched down, he slid off the hood of his car and turned to face me. With a start, I realized that I hadn't yet seen him out in full daylight. Our only meetings had been in the flickering fluorescent light of the convenience store, the dark shadows of Reese’s Pub, and then the flickering firelight as we made love. As we had sex, I mean. As we fucked. Yes. That.

In the full light of the winter sun, he was beautiful. There is no other word to describe the way he looked. Even in his winter gear, with nearly every inch of his skin hidden, there was still no mistaking the power of the body underneath. I wavered for a moment, wondering if he looked better with or without clothes. It was a disturbing choice to have to make. I opened my mouth to greet him, wish him a Happy New Year, get down to business with the real estate deal, be civil, be professional and all that... But he beat me to the punch. "I know why you’re pissed at me," he called across the lot. I stopped short and nearly tripped over my own feet. It was shades of the convenience store all over again. Thank God I had no eggs in my hand. "Why?" I called, for lack of any better way to respond. "I get it,” he said, striding towards me. The edges of his unbuttoned coat flared out like a cape behind him and I suddenly saw him as a superhero. Or super villain. I wasn’t even certain any more. “I understand,” he went on. “And I'm going to fix it.” I stopped and waited for him to reach me. He came right up to me, only stopping short when I raised my palm and pressed it against his chest. I needed him to stay at arm’s length. It was the only way... “I’m not testing you,” I told him firmly. "You are," he said casually. Like that was a normal state of affairs. "And that's okay."

I blinked, and my hand fell away. “Because you're going to fix it?" "Exactly." I sighed in exasperation. "Honestly Cole? Why bother?” My words seemed to cut him more deeply than I meant them to. "Why bother?" he echoed. "Because you promised me." "Promised you what?" "That we were starting over." There was a haunted look in his eyes that hadn't been there a second ago. I took a deep breath in, held it, clenching my fists and then released it like I'd learned in yoga class. "Cole. Baby. I was in the middle of having an orgasm. I would've promised anything. I didn't even know what I was saying." "But you said it. And you meant it. And I meant it too.” I shook my head. “No, I’m not interested in a long-distance relationship with the guy who's coming to poach my grandpa's land,” I lashed out in a sudden outburst that caught me by surprise. So much for being calm and professional. "I'm not looking to renew a relationship with a man who’s forgotten what happened down on the beach and what it should mean to him." "It means everything to me. And I am telling you that I will buy your grandpa’s land. Me. Not my firm.” “What?"

"This has been a long time coming, but I've only just realized that now. My board, they don't know what they're doing. I'm tired of having to justify the kinds of deals that are actually going to make the kind of long-term, sustainable growth I’m after. So I’m going it alone. As of today.” “Cole, I don’t understand any of this.” He took my hand and raised it to his lips. ”Autumn, I’m ready to buy. That is, if you're still selling." "Won’t your company hate you?" "I put in my notice this morning." "You did what?” He kissed my hand again. "I sent my driver home to his family and got this rental until I can buy my brother's truck. I also arranged with a realtor to sell my apartment. Housing is so cheap here. I’ve been on the phone all week, and I just found the perfect place to sublet for the season. Once the sale of my apartment goes through, I can buy my own place right in town. Or even up in the hills, with lots of land, and lots of room for guests.” I felt like my brain had turned to mush. "You're coming back?" He nodded and there wasn’t a hint of joking in his eyes. ”I was serious when I said I was starting over. My Christmas present was finding you again. Being with you would be the best possible start to the new year. What do you say, Autumn?"

"What do you want to do with my grandfather's land?” I whispered. He nodded and started ticking things off on his fingers one by one. “Open space. A gazebo, a pier for fishing. Playground for the kids. A town park with just a small parcel off over there,” he pointed, "for cafes and gift shops. That row of shops will be the flagship building for the start of Granger Development." “Holy shit.” He took my hand again. “You said you wouldn’t sell to someone who didn’t remember the meaning of this land. I want to make it available to everyone. Does that satisfy your conditions for selling?” My mouth was completely dry. ”I think so, yeah." "Good. I’ll have my lawyer draw up the paperwork and we can go tell your grandpa together. It'll be nice to see the old guy. I wonder, does even remember me?" My powers of speech recovered slightly. I smiled and reached up to run my fingers through his hair. It really was just as silky as I remembered. ”Of course he remembers you,” I said. “Everyone does. It's a small freaking town, Cole. There are no secrets here.” "Then I'm going to start spreading the word. ‘Autumn and Cole are back together again.’ I figure everyone will probably know within a day or so, right?" I smiled and snuggled up to him. “It's cold, people are staying in their houses more. Give it two days at least."

He kissed the top of my head. "Two days then,” he repeated. "Happy New Year babe. I'm so excited for it to start."

Epilogue Autumn

Of all the men standing there on the shore in their rolled up shirtsleeves, Cole looked the most at home holding a shovel. He also looked adorably ridiculous in his ill-fitting hard-hat, but I decided not to tease him about that too badly. At least not today. Today was his day, after all. A makeshift podium was set up in the gravel parking lot above my grandfather's marina. Strung with garlands and gussied up with a slapped on decal of the new town logo that had just been approved, it was waiting for Cole to step up and make his prepared remarks. He'd been practicing them all this past week, standing in the living room of the rambling old Victorian farmhouse he'd bought for us. It was a good speech, full of love for the town he was raised in and the people who made it what it was. I wasn't nervous for him in the slightest. He had this. A warm breeze wafted in from the south, bringing with it the smells of mulch and the machine oil from the waiting heavy machinery ready to reclaim the first parcel of land for the Town Park. It was the first part of a very long process. Nothing moves quickly in Reckless Falls. That's part of its charm, I suppose, and I tried to explain that to Cole as he sat tearing his beautiful hair in frustration as he filled out yet another permit application. There were still permits to be acquired and demolition to

undergo. The rusted shell of my grandfather's marina lurked ominously in the background down at the water's edge, but up here at the groundbreaking, everyone was all smiles. And Cole's smile was the widest. "On the count of three!" the camera man instructed, Cole bent his knees at the ready, and I felt my cheeks stretching into a grin even before he and the mayor and the Town Planning Officer all dug in and scooped up their ceremonial dirt clods. I raised my phone over the head of the official photographer and snapped my own photo of Cole's big day, then looked down at the screen to see he was smiling right at me. Then I looked up and laughed. "What are you doing over here?" I giggled and then whooped as he caught me up in his arms. "Oh my god!" I laughed as he whirled us in crazy circles around the gravel lot. "You're making me dizzy!" "You're making me dizzy," he retorted with that cocky little dimple flashing and I was only pretending to beat my fists against his chest when he caught me up in that kiss. I really didn't mind it at all. Breathlessly I broke away and looked at him. "Don't you have hands to shake? Palms to grease and all that?" "Nah," he shrugged. "I'm too excited. Come on over to the car, I want to show you something." "Ooh, did the permits clear for the storefront?" I asked, eagerly following him over to the massive country-boy pick-up he'd recently acquired. He yanked open the door for me and held out a chivalrous

hand to help me climb in. Then looked over his shoulder really quickly before he leaped in after me. "Ah!" I squeaked as he landed on me. The squeak of feedback from the microphone echoed across the lot, and I heard the mayor clearing his throat. "Your speech!" "Can't think about that now. Something I have to do first," he murmured, yanking up the long maxi skirt I'd chosen for the occasion. "Cole, I...oh..." His warm mouth was already on me, teasing my suddenly aching clit through the thin fabric of my panties. "What's gotten into you?" "You Autumn. It's always been you." I inhaled sharply. "They're going to be looking for you." "Then you'd better come quickly," he rumbled against my thigh. "Or we're going to get caught." I squeezed my eyes shut and suddenly I was transported back over eight years ago, to the parking lot of our high school and the afternoon he told me he'd be leaving. Everything had worked out the way I'd planned after all. Even if it had taken longer to get there than I wanted. The memory of that afternoon was so clear that in my mind I could almost hear the clack of Mrs. Collis's shoes as she stalked past us to her car.

Then I opened my eyes and realized that wasn't a memory at all. "Cole!" I hissed as I stared out the window on to the top of the real estate broker's head. "It's Fiona! She's looking for you!" "I'm busy," Cole murmured, yanking aside my panties. "Got some things I need to do right now." "Oh Jesus," I moaned, sliding down as his tongue found my center. Instantly I dissolved into a puddle of mindless mush, as everything fell away except for Cole's expert mouth. Who else but Cole could have me panting in an instant? Who else but Cole could have me mindless and quivering for him even as people looked for him five feet away? Who else but Cole could bring me to the very brink and all the while keep smiling up at me with that dimple blazing? Who else but Cole could do any of these things? The answer was no one. Which was why my left hand finally, finally sported his ring. "Oh fuck," I panted as the white hot coil snaked around my belly. I squeezed my eyes shut and arched upward into his tongue, grinding myself against him. He hummed something profane against my clit and then slipped that perfect finger inside of me, driving me right over the edge. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood as I stifled a scream, just as Fiona called Cole's name from just outside the pick-up door. Cole bounced up from between my legs and slammed his lips into mine. His dimple glistened ever so slightly as he pulled back and smiled. "Thanks for helping me find my notecards, future-Mrs. Granger."

I gaped at him as he yanked my skirt back down and opened the door. "Hey Fifi," he called out, charming as always. "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, I left my speech in the truck." He looked back over his shoulder. "Luckily my fiancée knew where I put it." Fiona was smiling, dazzled by Cole, just like everyone was. Just like I was. I gave a small wave and watched as she led him over to the podium. Then I took a deep breath, checked my makeup in the rearview mirror and slid down out of the truck, careful to hold on to the door lest I collapse in a boneless puddle on the ground. "Autumn Melton!" a strangely familiar voice called. "How lovely to see you again!" I swallowed, opened my mouth, cleared my throat and then swallowed again as the burning blush ignited my cheeks. How? How was she here? How was she right outside the door again? Then I choked down a hysterical laugh and smiled hugely. "Hi Mrs. Collis," I grinned. "Are you here for Cole's speech? I'm so proud of him." I couldn't help but raise my chin. "Aren't you?" I needled her. She pressed her lips together. "It's lovely what he's doing for the town. I guess he made good after all. Eventually." I looked down at my left hand. "Eventually," I repeated, nodding firmly. Then I headed over to the podium to listen to my fiancé speak.

THE END



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