L K Collins 2 ABBY (ang)

Abby Kindle Edition A novel by LK Collins Cover Design by Prezident Collins Edited by Lisa Christman, Adept Edits Formatting by Paul Salvette, BB eBooks Photography by honored All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.

“Placing the cold, black steel to my temple, I am reassured knowing that this…is the only way…” – Latch

Title Page Copyright Page Epigraph Dedication Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Epilogue Acknowledgements Follow LK Collins Other Books by LK

For Abby…

With the cold, black steel placed against my temple, my world spins. Everything that I thought I had, or was going to have, is gone. Stolen from me in the blink of an eye. Now, here I sit screwed over by the universe and stuffed into a fucking corner so far back that I can’t see straight to find my way out. The only logic that I can conjure is pulling the trigger, and the voices inside my head are screaming at me so loud to just do it. They won’t give me a second of respite, and the relentless agony has my whole body shaking. I just want it to the end, the pain, the fear – everything – I want it all to stop. “Latch, what are you doing?” My grandmother, Maris, is standing in the doorway of my home, paralyzed with fear. The tears flow faster with our eyes connected. I hate that she is seeing me like this. At my lowest point, with a gun imbedded against my temple. The brutal pressure of the muzzle on my temple sends pain to my eyes. Being in this place is terrifying, and I can’t seem to fathom how to get out of it. I’ve always wondered how my life would end. Panicking, savoring my last few breaths, I see now this is how. This must be my destiny… “Latch, please put the gun down.” I shake my head, her silhouette blurs out of focus, and my heart stammers knowing I’m going to have to do this in front of her – it’s my only chance before she stops me. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, my throat closing as I take in my last inhale. Her innocent frame stands completely shocked – frozen – and I pull my eyes away from her, looking at the picture of me and Abby for one last time. “I love you, baby.” I run my finger over the image and begin to squeeze back on the trigger. Waiting for my life to end. “Abby’s alive!” she screams. Immediately I let up on the pressure and look at her, trying to focus on what she just said. The gun drops to my side like a lead weight and the panic I was suffocating under is momentarily lifted as I process her words. What? No, no fucking way! “Don’t lie to me; just let me go. I need to be with her.” Inside of me there is a demon, tearing my insides apart, slowly killing me as despair and hopelessness reclaim their positions stealing my grasp on reality. “I’m not!” “No, it’s not possible!” I shake my head, fighting to ignore the voices. “I heard you on the phone.” She’s just fuckin’ with me, lying to me, doing anything she can to stop me in this moment. “Please, give me the gun. I promise she’s okay.” I shake my head, placing the barrel of the gun back against my skull and sob, not believing her. I want to trust her words, more than anything. But I can’t. The noise in my head is loud, plaguing me, telling me to just end it all…right now. “I heard them call code blue and…and saw her after the accident, she couldn’t have—” Vomit rises to the back of my throat, and I gag imagining her the way she was. Covering my mouth with my hand, my head is spinning going back to that place, with those

horrible images. My grandma is next to me and without me noticing she places her hand on the gun and turns it away from my head. Exhausted, I let her, no longer able to fight. Looking into her eyes, I have no idea how I got here or what to do. Leaning against her as she sits down, I am numb. She takes the gun and with hesitation, I let it go. A wave of hope ignites inside of me, imagining that Abby is really still alive. She sets the gun far away from us on the edge of the table and then wraps her arms around me, holding me tightly. I weep into her like a child, wallowing in the pain that blazes through me. “Shhhhh,” she says, rocking me back and forth. “Everything is going to be okay.” I soak in her words, trying to believe her. Wanting it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Then it hits me. If Abby is alive, I have to get to her. “Can I see her?” I ask my grandma. “They just took her back for surgery, but after, I’m sure you can, baby.” Releasing the grip I have on her, I pick the picture up and remove it from the mangled frame. “Let’s go,” I tell her, standing, and she stares at me confused. She’s worried – hell, I am too. However, my brain is on Abby. I need to get to her. “There’s no rush, Latch. It’ll take some time for the surgery – hours I heard the doctors say. Right now, I’m really worried about you.” Running my fingers through my hair, I look down at Abby’s picture. Her light eyes rock my soul and it pulls me to her. “I…I have to be with her.” I shake my head anxiously and place the picture in my pocket. “I understand, but you were just about to kill yourself,” she shrieks. “And if Abby dies, I’ll fuckin’ do it in a heartbeat,” I snap, and she jolts back, speechless. “Are you coming or not?” I retort. My hand is on the doorknob and she gets up, taking the gun and placing it in her purse. “What kind of surgery?” I ask her as I look for a cab to hail, on a mission to get to Abby. “To stop the internal bleeding. I think that’s what caused her to flat line earlier.” Clearly, she is worried. I can tell by her tone, but right now, I’m not myself. “Come on, Latch,” she pleads and I turn to see her standing at her car. As I get inside, I look down at myself, still covered in Abby’s blood. “What other injuries does she have?” “I’m not sure, sweetheart. No one has talked to me directly; it’s all been chaos and hearsay.” Glancing at her, I can see the agony on her face, and I feel terrible for doing this to her. But I didn’t have another choice. I lost control. “And the baby?” “I don’t know, Latch,” she whimpers, her voice so broken as tears are running down her cheeks, and I clam up, knowing that I need to just stay quiet. I’ve done enough damage for the day. Imagining what Abby has been through is almost unbearable, making my whole body shiver. Then my mind goes to the tiny life inside of her and I begin to pray that if she is alive, our baby is too. God isn’t that cruel. He wouldn’t take our baby, the pain of my thoughts cause me to start to weep, struggling to get air in my lungs. My mind plays games on me, leaping from one place to another. From Abby’s screams, to the collision, to her lying on the pavement of the highway so helpless, to just wanting to end it all. And somehow, through all of that, there is a glimmer of hope and I’m holding on to it, because it’s all I have right now. In a perfect world, I would have them both by my side riding off into the sunset together, but in my fucked up world things are far from perfect. I learned a long time ago that for Abby and I, things

never come easily. Just when we got into the flow of what felt like a new life for both of us, it all came crashing down like a ton of bricks. How did I let Darrell cause the suffering we’re going through now?

“Here,” my grandma says, waking me up. I blink a few times, taking in the hospital waiting room, as she hands me a cup of coffee. “What time is it?” “A little after two in the morning,” she says, and I rest my head back on the cold wall, fighting the fatigue and head to toe exhaustion. Staring up at the white, paneled ceiling, my heart is pounding profusely, so fast I can feel it in my throat. Why the fuck hasn’t anyone come and talked to us yet? My mind spins: fear, anxiety, worry, and anger in a way that I never dreamed could be possible on a loop of constant torment. “Drink up, baby,” my grandma says, and I take a small sip, not sure how much longer I can handle this. “I think I’m gonna—” “Are you the family of Abby McEllrath?” A doctor cuts me off, emerging through a set of double doors. Hearing him speak her name makes me almost crawl out of my skin in fear. “Yeah, that’s us,” I respond quickly and run towards him. He looks down at my blood-stained clothes before proceeding. There is a look of remorse as he pauses and I cringe my teeth not even able to blink, so fucking terrified that she didn’t make it. “Please just tell us – is she alive?” “Yes, Abby’s alive, sir. She pulled through the surgery quite well. She’s lost a lot of blood due to the internal bleeding, but we stopped it in time. She also has a large hematoma on her right thigh, a broken collarbone, separated shoulder, and has some minor swelling of her brain. But all in all she’s a very lucky girl, and I’m happy with how things have gone. She’s resting now in the ICU. We have her sedated until we know her condition is stable and the swelling has gone down, then we’ll allow her to wake slowly.” I swallow hard, feeling relief run through my body, but still I have to know about our child and am afraid to ask, “And the baby?” “I’m awfully sorry to say this, but we couldn’t find a heartbeat for the baby upon arrival. I’m afraid to say, he didn’t survive beyond the accident.” I hear his words, but I don’t believe him…I can’t. “He?” I ask. “Yes, sir.” “Why?” I whisper. “The trauma she suffered was tremendous, at this point, we’re lucky Abby pulled through.” “Where is he?” “We performed an emergency C-section in hopes we could save him, but I’m afraid it was far too late.” I drop to my knees, the hot cup of coffee splashes and burns my skin, but it’s nothing compared to the pain rushing through my body. How am I supposed to tell Abby our son didn’t make it?

Resting my chin on the side of Abby’s bed, I fight to keep my eyes open. I haven’t slept in days, minus nodding off when I physically just can’t stay awake any longer. I’m scared to give in. Afraid that if I fall sleep, Abby will wake up, or move, or do something that I’ll miss, and right now, I need her back. More than I’ve ever needed anything in my life. I already lost our son; I can’t lose her too. The doctors started weaning her off the sedation this morning and hoped by this afternoon, we’d have her back…but still nothing. And here I sit, feeling anxious and scared that maybe she’s never coming back to me and that’s not something I can live with. I already went through the motions of losing her once. If something happens and she never comes back, I’ll lose my fucking mind and end up in a room right next to her. “I really wish you’d take care of yourself. You’re not going to be any help to Abby when she wakes up in the condition you’re in,” my grandmother says. I glance at her for a brief second, but it hurts too much to take my eyes off Abby. “I’ll be fine, Grandma, but thank you.” I blink heavily as I speak, exhaustion running through my bones, and the flat tone of my voice doesn’t help me to reassure her. “Latch, please,” she begs me. “You’re falling asleep sitting here. It’s been days and you are still wearing the same clothes, all blood-stained…would you just think about what’s best for Abby?” I don’t have the energy to argue. To be honest, I don’t have the energy to do anything. I barely have the strength to keep my head up. “Abby won’t care what I’m wearing.” “What about the…” baby? she mouths to me. “Don’t put that on her.” My grandma’s words hit home. She keeps wanting me to make a choice. But to decide alone whether our son, who weighed only six ounces, should be cremated or buried, is not something I can fucking do right now. Not without Abby. She’ll wake up; she has to. I look down at Abby’s soft hand in the grip of mine and strum my fingers on the inside of her palm. My grandmother moves her chair next to me and says, “I don’t know how to help you.” I shrug my shoulders, my chin still resting on the railing of her bed. I’m not sure what to tell her; I can’t even help myself. “Latch, I’m worried about you.” “Me too!” “I’m being serious.” Sitting up for the first time in hours, my back stings. “What do you want from me?” “You need to talk about what happened. How you’re feeling. I know a great doctor that can—” “No! No! No!” I say firmly, cutting her off. “Not in front of Abby.” “Why not? She needs to know everything. Are you even going to tell her?” I turn and look her in the eye, my blood boiling. I don’t like how she is pushing me, trying to force me to talk about things in front of Abby. “I don’t have the slightest fucking clue what I am going to do. But right now, I’m not going to leave Abby, and I’m also not going to upset her by talking about what happened.”

She blinks, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Goddammit! I never want to upset her, but what she’s asking of me, I can’t do. “I’m sorry,” I whisper and she leaves with quiet disappointment and frustration. My eyes are heavy again, but then Abby’s hand moves a little in mine. This is the first time she has moved. “Baby?” I ask her, needing her to know I am right here. Her face is still. She’s the same way she’s been since the accident. Maybe she didn’t move and I just thought I felt her. Then her fingers tick against my hand and I search her face for more, leaning over, praying this is her coming back to me. “I’m right here, baby. Can you hear me?” Right now, I want nothing more than for her to just wake up, but deep down, I have this sickening feeling that she won’t. That she’s always going to be this way. Tears pool in my eyes when she doesn’t respond to me and I rest my head against hers, asking God to please bring her back to me.

Waking up pissed at myself for dozing off, I take in the room. Abby still hasn’t woken up and my Grandma hasn’t returned. “Glad to see you got some rest,” Abby’s nurse says, checking her vitals. I rub my eyes and nod my head. “Any change?” “No, she’s still resting. She’ll wake on her own time.” I look at the clock; it’s three in the afternoon. I’ve slept for a few hours. My stomach growls, but I ignore it. I’m sure my grandma will bring me something to eat soon like she has been for days. Abby’s hands are dry and I stand, grabbing the lotion from the table next to me. “Is there anything else I should be doing?” I ask the nurse and squirt some into my palm. “No, you’re doing everything you should.” I warm it between my hands and then rub it on her, taking my time as I massage it into her skin. “Have you made a decision, regarding what we talked about?” I shake my head, feeling sick, knowing she is referring to our son. Imagining him gone almost sends me into a rage. Clearing my throat, I ask her, “Can we give it just another day? She has to wake up.” “Of course,” the nurse responds and turns to leave the room. She stops at the door and looks back at me. “If you want, I can get you some scrubs to change into.” I look down at myself, knowing that I am being ridiculous for still wearing my old clothes, but changing would involve leaving Abby for longer than I’m willing. Just using the bathroom about kills me every time. “Thanks, but I have a change,” which is a lie. My grandma offered to get me some clothes, but I refused, just like I have everything else lately. Lowering the bar on the bed, I lean over her, close to her face, smelling her sweetness. “Baby?” But still nothing and it hurts me deep in my body. I wish I could get into bed with her, to have her as close to me as possible. Even if she couldn’t feel me, it would make me feel better. But I won’t until she’s awake. “Baby,” I whisper and wait for her response, like I always do. The doctors told me to talk to her as much as possible, but doing it while pretending like everything is normal is hard for me. “I was thinking when you get out of here, we could take a trip to Connecticut. It was so peaceful there. We could stay at Jeremy’s house and watch the waves all day.” I smile knowing if she were awake, she’d have us in the car today and heading up there. If being with Abby has taught me anything, it’s to enjoy the small things. Life is far too precious

to do anything but that. Like the simplicity of her lips against mine or the way her laugh would fill the room. Both I miss terribly.

As the hours and days slowly tick by and I wait for an indication that she’s waking, or a change, or for her to do anything but just lie there, I’m starting to lose hope. My insides are empty without her and without the thought of having the baby soon. Then to top it all off, I had to make the hardest decision of my life this morning, having run out of time. I was forced to decide what no parent should ever have to – I had to choose between cremation or burial for our son. The memory alone sickens me. The doctors said he was just six ounces – that’s so small. Tears fill my eyes as I imagine his tiny and helpless body. I’m wiping my eyes dry on my shirt just as a nurse comes in and buzzes around the room. I never get any time alone as someone is always coming or going at all hours of the day and night. Always, constantly checking on her, moving her, poking and prodding her. While I just sit in the same place, in slow motion wearing the same clothes…waiting and waiting. “Latch,” my grandma touches my shoulder, and I jolt, edgy. She hasn’t been back since our disagreement, and being without both her and Abby is quickly breaking me. Letting go of Abby’s hand for the first time in hours, I stand and hug my grandma, pulling her close. “I’m sorry for everything,” I tell her. She holds me with equal tenderness. “Me too, baby, me too.” Then I hear the click of boots against the linoleum floor and spot my father entering the room. He pauses when our eyes connect, and I pull away from my grandma, stunned to see my dad. “Why did you bring him here?” I whisper. “Please don’t be mad. He’s worried. I didn’t know who else to call.” I blink a few times, unsure how to proceed. Part of me wants to take all of my anger out on him. To blame him for what I’ve been through, but he has nothing to do with any of it. Even though he did a shitty job raising me, I set myself on a different path, and feel that I have fully let go of my past by moving on with Abby. The only person to blame here is that motherfucker, Darrell. My grandma steps aside and he walks up to me. His brown eyes are tired, like he hasn’t slept in years, and I remember this is how he’s looked since losing my mom. It fucked him up. “Hey,” he says and embraces me in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry for everything, son.” I hesitate for a second, before holding him back, and as I do, I feel all the pent up years of aggression and rage that live inside of me melt away as I am finally able to connect to this rawest part of him. If anyone knows what I’m going through it’s him, and right now…I need him. He lets me go and asks, “You hanging in there?” “Trying,” I respond and turn to look at Abby. They both do the same and all three of us just watch her. “Any change?” my grandma asks. “No, none,” I bleakly respond without even moving my lips. “Have you been eating?” “No.” “Here,” she passes me a change of clothes, and I blink a few times, reluctant to take them. Not only

am I dreading leaving her side to change, it’s like I’m being superstitious staying in my old clothes. Weirdly thinking somehow they hold the key to bringing Abby back, because I wore them the last time she was awake, but really, it’s all a fucking mind game that I’m playing with myself. She’ll wake up when she’s ready, and I’ll wait as long as needed. “Change,” my dad encourages me, and I take the clothes my grandma’s holding, contemplating what to do. “Please?” he asks, and he won’t take no for an answer. Looking at Abby, I can strangely hear her too, encouraging me. Walking into the bathroom, I take a piss and look down at the blood-smeared shirt. Normally, when I come in here, I’m back by Abby’s side before I have time to process anything. But the blood is everywhere, and my mind flashes to her on the pavement of the highway and then I picture our child fighting to survive inside of her, and suddenly, I’m on my hands and knees in front of the toilet. For not eating lately, my stomach seems to think there is more for it to expel as I gag and gag. Lately, I’ve been trying to push it all away. Keeping thoughts of the accident at bay. When I’m with her, she’s all I focus on. Did she just move? Is she comfortable? And I try to just talk, about positive things, hoping she can hear me as she’s fighting to find her way out of the darkness. But standing here and taking a moment to myself, makes everything come crashing down, forcing the thoughts I’ve suppressed wide out in the open. What if she’s not coming back to me? What if she knows the baby is gone and it’s too much for her to bear? Getting off the floor, I pull the stained shirt over my head and toss it in the trash, then do the same with my shorts. I need to change and get back to Abby. Letting my mind drift in here is only going to hurt me more. Grabbing the clothes my grandma brought me, I notice they are mine. She must’ve gone to my house. I get dressed and smile when I find the small Ziploc bag that contains my toothbrush in the pocket of my jeans. I’m sure my breath is rank. Turning the water on, I look at myself for the first time since the accident and I don’t like what I see. Squinting at my reflection, I don’t even recognize my own face. My eyes have black circles under them, and I fill my hands with water, splashing some on my face before running them through my crazy mane of hair. After I finish with my teeth, I brace my weight on the sides of the sink and pray to my mom, like I have been for days now, to bring Abby back to me. It’s all I can do. Walking back into the room, my dad and grandma are both watching Abby. I walk up to her and kiss her cheek, then take my usual seat. “She really is gorgeous,” my dad says, and I nod in response, not able to hold my smile back as I watch her. “So she’s it for you? The one?” “Yeah, she’s the one.” “I’m happy for you, Latch.” He seems genuine, different than what I’m used to. With my dad here and them questioning me about eating and making me change my clothes, I can feel them pushing me to open up about things. Granted, I get that they’re worried, but all I’ve been doing is sitting in this fucking chair. I’m not gonna try to hurt myself again. It was a mistake and I’ve had a lot of time to process what the repercussions of my actions could have done to the ones I would’ve left behind. “Come on, son, what do you say, let me take you to get something to eat?” Immediately, I shake my head. “Nah, I’m good.” I see him out of the corner of my eye look at my grandma, and I just keep my attention on Abby. I’m not leaving her…I can’t. “I’ll stay with her, dear. You need to eat.”

If I leave, I feel like I’m failing her. What if she wakes up and I’m not here? After all this time, I need to be here. I can’t risk it. “Come on,” he encourages me, and I look up at both of them with tears in my eyes. “It’s just one meal.” He forces me to stand, and as he pulls me away from Abby, my heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest, my throat closing. Looking at her, I swallow hard and know that I need to eat, and maybe a few minutes away talking with my dad won’t be so bad. He’s been through a lot of shit in his life. Even if I don’t agree with most of what he does, in a time like this, the past just disappears. Everything I’ve held on to, all of the grudges and hard feelings, just washes away. “Do you have your phone?” I ask my dad and he nods. I beg my grandma, “Please call, if anything changes at all.” She nods, “I will, dear.” She knows I left my phone in the cab and haven’t cared to get a new one since this all went down. Swallowing hard, I will myself to continue. Walking away from Abby hurts. My dad places his hand on my arm and urges me on. My throat is so tight, something is screaming inside me telling me not to go…but I do… I keep walking, leaving her.

Sitting across from my dad in the little dive diner he insisted we go to, I’m on edge. I didn’t want to leave the hospital – we’re too far away if anything happens and it’s distracting me. I’m trying to keep in conversation with him, to take in what he’s telling me, but I just can’t. The fear of not being there is consuming me. “So you knew her husband was a loose cannon?” I nod, blinking heavily, so tired. “You know I would’ve taken care of him in a heartbeat. I could’ve made him disappear before any of this happened.” “We had no idea he’d go to these lengths.” “You can never underestimate your enemy. If I’ve learned anything in this fucking life, it’s that. You should’ve just called me,” he says, insinuating that he is the answer to all of my problems. “Why would I have done that? I’m not like you.” He ignores me and stops the waitress, asking her for more coffee, just brushing my comment aside. It’s so fuckin’ weird how he can talk about killing someone in the middle of breakfast, like it’s no big deal. Slowly I consume my meal, taking everything in as I battle to keep the noise in the back of my head quiet. I’m so scared that something is going wrong with Abby and I’m not there. “Your phone hasn’t rung, has it?” I ask him and he checks it. “No. But I did come here for a reason. We need to talk about what happened after the accident. Your grandma called me because she’s really worried about you, and so am I, to be honest.” “I’m fine, man,” I growl, angry that he’s bringing this up. The forgiveness I thought I felt for him slowly starts to dwindle away. “Are you?” He leans forwards and scans my face. “What do you want me to tell you, Dad?” “Latch, I don’t want you to tell me anything. I need you to prove to me that you’re not gonna hurt yourself. I’ve been where you’ve been. I wanted to kill myself when your mom died.”

“Why didn’t you?” I ask him flat out. “Because you depended on me and I couldn’t do that to you.” Hearing him say he spared his life for me comes as a shock. We’ve never been close – ever. “All I’m trying to tell you is I’ve been where you are, son. I’ve felt what you’re feeling, and even though you don’t want to hear it, in time, things will get better. Nothing is ever bad enough to end your life over.” I close my eyes, reeling in my anger the best I can, knowing I am on the brink of breaking and then snap, “Yeah, in time it will get better, because Abby’s gonna fuckin’ wake up.” “But what if she doesn’t, then what are you gonna do?” I drop my fork on the plate and sit back in my chair, angry as all hell at him for even insinuating such a thing. “You know what? I thought you’d changed, but you haven’t! Fuck you!” I get up from the table and walk out of the restaurant. His words ring in my head and I push them away. She’ll wake up. She has to. But I don’t make it far away from him as he jogs up next to me and stops me. “Latch, hold on.” I turn and want to lay him flat on the pavement, to give him a lifetime’s worth of my accumulated anger and frustration. But I hear Abby calming me down, just like she always has, and I let him say whatever else he needs to, because I just need to end this with him as fast as possible and get back to her. “I’m not here to cause any problems, I just want what’s best for you, and I need to know that you’re not going to do anything stupid again. I’m sorry we don’t always see eye to eye, but you’re my son and I care about you more than you can understand. And your grandma…she needs you.” Letting out a breath of air, I tell him, “When I wanted to kill myself, it’s not something that I’d planned or even thought about prior, it just happened. I don’t want to die, but I can’t live without Abby.” “You have to stay strong during the rough times in life. Trust me, you’ll have more, we all will.” I start to walk back to the hospital, not able to stand still any longer and he says, “Think about Abby. Is that the way she’d want things to end for you?” His words resonate deep inside me. Killing myself is not the way I want to go out of this world, no matter what. No matter the pain or what happens. I want to die old, with Abby by my side. For once in my life, my old man is right. Walking back up to the hospital, there is a swarm of paparazzi outside. Fuck! “What’s going on?” my dad asks. “Just ignore them.” “Latch! Latch!” they chant. “How’s Abby?” one asks, they step over each other like ants racing to get to a crumb as they surround me. “Can you give us any updates on her condition?” “How’s the baby?” I breeze past them with my head down and jog up the stairs that lead inside. Once we are in, I’m even more anxious to get back to the room. “Your grandma warned me that they might be here. Is that what you always have to deal with?” “Yup, basically.” I push the elevator call button and look over at him. “Thank you for coming.” “Of course. I just want what’s best for you.” I don’t respond. I’m not really sure what else to say and my mind is on autopilot, I need to get to Abby. “How is she?” I ask my grandma as we walk back into the room. “She’s the same, dear. I read to her for a while and then the nurses came in and gave her a bath.” “Did they put lotion on her?” I ask, looking her over as I lean down and kiss her tenderly. “Yes, dear, how was breakfast?”

“It was good,” my dad says, leaning on the edge of the window. “Have the paparazzi been out there this whole time?” I ask. “Off and on. They weren’t here when we arrived today. Are they back now?” “Yeah, a fucking army of them. I didn’t see them when we went for breakfast, so to walk back into a fucking swarm of them was unexpected and pissed me off.” “I’m sorry, dear.” I focus on Abby, realizing how silly it is of me to be worrying about something so dumb during a time like this. I have much greater struggles than a swarm of nosy assholes waiting outside.

It’s been three weeks, two days, and sixteen hours since the accident and here I sit, next to Abby, in the same spot, still watching her and waiting for her to come back to me. And the more time passes, the more afraid I am. Every day is Groundhog’s Day, nothing is different, except the date on the calendar. Same routines, same nurses, same doctors, and the same nothingness from Abby. “How’s she doing today?” Abby’s neurosurgeon walks in with his team of assistants. “The same,” I respond in a somber tone. He looks over her chart and then walks up to her, opening each eyelid and shining in a flashlight. I hate when he does that. It’s just fucking wrong! It’s like I get a glimpse of who she was and hope she’ll look at me again with those eyes, but I worry she won’t. “Her eyes look clearer today.” “Is that good?” I ask. “Yeah, it could mean she’s getting closer to waking up.” I let out a breath. That’s what they said last week and the week before that and the week before that. Rubbing my hand over hers. The doctor moves to the bottom of the bed and lifts the covers then removes her socks. He grabs her toes, lifting each leg, before running a stick up the inseam of each foot, checking her reflexes. “She still looks great.” “Hey, Doc?” I ask him. “Yeah?” He puts her socks back on and waits for me to speak. “She is going to wake up…right?” “Yes. I believe she will…don’t you?” Giving him a small smile as he and his team leave, I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I do believe…I have to… If I let go of the possibility, then what do I have left? “Please come back to me, baby,” I plead as my eyes fill with tears, hoping that maybe today will be the day. I’m not sure how long I stare at Abby, but I must’ve drifted off to sleep in the process and I wake to a knock on the door. Glancing up, there are two men peeking their heads in before entering. “May we come in?” one asks and I nod, not sure who they are or what they want. But with the amount of doctors in and out all the time, I’ve lost track. Both are dressed in slacks and dress shirts and one looks vaguely familiar to me. “Thank you, Mr. Teracino. How’s she doing?” “The same.” “We’re very sorry.” They both just stare, not checking her out or anything, and I say, “May I ask why you’re here?” “Absolutely. I’m sorry. I’m Detective Jargon and this is Detective Lewis.” They shake my hand and I’m not completely sure why I haven’t kicked their asses out yet. “We’re from the New York State Police Department and are investigating the accident that you and Mrs. McEllrath were involved in.” Right away, my blood boils and I’m pissed at myself for letting them in. Putting up my defenses, I ask, “What’s to investigate? I was already questioned and told them everything I know while Abby was here fighting for her life.”

“And we appreciate everything you’ve done. But this case was just reassigned to us. It seems the detective who questioned you knew Mrs. McEllrath’s late husband and may have been inappropriately biased, so to be fair, our sergeant has asked us to recheck everything over and to do that, we’d really appreciate a little bit of your time.” I shake my head, angry that they are asking to go through everything again. I don’t want to go back to that day. And for all I know this is a fucking trap and these fuckers are just here to arrest me. To put the final nail in my coffin, just like Darrell set up all along. “Please, Mr. Teracino, we know you’ve been through a great ordeal, but this is imperative to closing this case and getting justice for —” I cut him off, raising my hand to him and shake my head. He stops talking and gently I let go of Abby’s hand, then step into the hallway and they both follow. No one has said a word about the baby and I’ll be damned if these assholes do such a thing. “Please don’t talk about my son in front of Abby.” “We’re very sorry,” Detective Jargon says. “Can this wait?” I ask, agitated, “Until Abby is awake?” “We’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days, but your phone must be shut off. Your statement is really a crucial piece to this case.” “What’s it matter? It’s just my word against Darrell’s 911 call.” “That’s true, but…we’ve found some new evidence that we believe might help sort this all out once and for all.” I look in the room at Abby as she is resting so peacefully. “Okay, can we do it here?” I ask, not wanting to leave her. The thought is too unsettling. “We need to do it down at the station. We’ve gotta follow the book this time around.” “And I’m not under arrest?” “Absolutely not, Mr. Teracino.” “What’s going on?” my grandma asks, concerned, as she walks up to the officers and me. “Can we have a few minutes?” I ask the two detectives and they both nod then walk away. “Who are they, Latch?” “Detectives from the police department, they were reassigned to the car accident case and need to re-interview me.” She looks worried and I don’t like that. “Why? Why now? It’s been almost a month.” I fill her in on everything and she asks me, “Do you really think it’s smart to talk to them again, especially without a lawyer?” “I’ve got nothing to hide. Resisting this or demanding to have an attorney present is just going to make me look guilty.” “Are you sure?” she asks, still not convinced. “Yeah,” I pull her into a tight embrace and as she hugs me, my dad’s words ring in my head. Your grandma needs you. I didn’t really realize it until now. I guess…she needs me, just as much as I need her. “It’ll be fine, I promise. Stay with Abby and I’ll be back as soon as I can. Then this will be just another obstacle we can all put behind us. Which right now…I need and so does Abby for when she wakes up. Just like the baby, cremating his remains was what needed to be done, closure for all of us.” “Which reminds me…Here,” she says and pulls a white box out of her purse. “I got the necklaces back today.” I swallow, fighting back the tears as I open what she gave me. Looking down at the thick cross necklace that contains half of my son’s ashes, I’m devastated this is all that’s left. “Thank you.” She kisses me and I place the chain over my head. “And Abby’s?”

“I have it. You can give it to her when the time’s right.” Which I can’t fathom doing. So I concentrate on the task at hand instead and kiss her forehead. She wraps her hand around mine, staring at the cross as we walk back into the room. My grandma sits in my usual chair and I give Abby a kiss, then tell her, “I’ll be right back, baby.” “Good luck,” my grandma says and I force myself to turn away and walk out of the room, knowing I need this all to end. Tucking the necklace under my shirt as I walk up to the detectives, I pray this isn’t the last time that I’ll see Abby.

“Would you say Abby was scared of Darrell?” Detective Lewis asks me. “Yes.” “Did she ever talk about Darrell getting physical with her?” “She told me he was always very verbally abusive and would push her when he was drunk or break things. But I don’t believe he ever actually hit her.” “The night of the accident, had he contacted Abby at all, that you’re aware of?” “No, not that I’m aware of.” Jargon whispers to Lewis, and Lewis nods then says, “Mr. Teracino, were you aware there was a transponder installed on your vehicle to track your location?” “What?” I judder not wanting to believe them, but knowing Darrell’s crazy ass was capable of anything, I’m sure my whole house could be bugged. “We believe that Mr. McEllrath either installed the device on your car or had it installed in preparation for doing something like this. With how high profile he was, he knew he couldn’t get away scot-free with anything in the city, not with the paparazzi, but if he had them torment you guys enough and push you of out town…then that was his chance to make a move, and unfortunately it all played out just the way he wanted.” “How do you know it was his device?” “We have the camera footage of him purchasing it.” That motherfucker is lucky he’s fucking dead, because had he not died in the accident, I’d beat him ’til he took his last pathetic breath begging me for mercy. How could he track us, to purposely kill our child and attempt to do the same to Abby and me? Only a sick, demented person would do that, and that is exactly what Darrell was. I just wish I’d realized it sooner.

Arriving back at the hospital, I look out at the swarm of paparazzi and almost don’t want to get out of the car, but knowing Abby is just beyond the doors pushes me forward. “Thank you for your time today. We hope the best for Abby,” Detective Lewis says as Jargon opens my door. “Good luck closing the case,” I respond and make a break for it, zoning out the chants as I rush through the barrage of cameras. Once inside, I head up to Abby’s room, avoiding the elevator just so my legs keep moving. As I walk up each flight, I feel positive about putting all the shit with the cops behind me, glad that I made the decision to go. But as I open the door to her floor and round the corner, that positivity flees out the window. All hell is breaking loose. Her room is filled with people, noises and alarms swallow me whole, and I run, blurring out the chaos as I push my way through, fearing what I’ll find. “One, two, three,” a nurse says and I freeze as her feeding tube is pulled from her nose. Abby coughs and gags, pain sheaths her face, and then blood runs out the side of her mouth, and the nurse says, “It’s okay, Abby…just breathe and stay with me.” Even though she is hurting, she’s awake…she’s fucking awake! She’s sitting up in the bed, exhausted, and looks into my grandma’s eyes, who is right by her. “Where’s Latch?” she asks in a raspy tone, and I rush to her side. Tears blaze out of my eyes as I grab her hand and she squeezes me back. “I’m right here, baby.” She’s afraid, I can tell. “All right, you two.” Another nurse steps between my grandma and I, and I hate to let go of Abby, but I don’t have a choice. “Give us some space.” “What happened?” I ask my grandma as we back away from Abby. “She just opened her eyes and started coughing, I pushed the emergency button, and the room was flooded with people, and that’s when you got here. “So, she just woke up?” “Yeah.” Fuck yeah, I didn’t miss anything! Abby looks up at the ceiling as her doctor examines her. “Why is she bleeding?” I ask. “The feeding tube was rubbing on her esophagus and caused an ulcer. This is typical in patients that are out for as long as she has been. I’d like to get an x-ray,” he says, and Abby looks over at me then back at him as he asks her, “Do you know where you are?” “The hospital.” “Good. And what’s your name?” “Abby.” “Last name?” “McEllrath,” she mumbles. “Good, Mrs. McEllrath.” “Please call me Abby,” she asks, and I can’t help but fuckin’ chuckle inside hearing her say that. “All right, Abby, how are you feeling?” “A little tired and weak, I don’t think I can walk.”

“No, no, not yet. And those are all normal things. You were comatose for almost a month. I’m gonna get that x-ray ordered and let the nurses get you comfortable, but you look great. Welcome back.” She smiles and then turns to look at me as tears run down my cheeks. I just want to hold her, goddammit. I want to have her as close to me as possible. The nurses clean her up and get her all situated, which seems to take forever. I stand watching, holding my grandma’s hand as my and Abby’s eyes are glued to one another. “Just push this button if you need anything, okay?” “ ’Kay.” She’s slow. I can see the exhaustion bleeding out of her. “I’ll give you two some time,” my grandma says and walks up to Abby, kissing her on the cheek and holding her face as they take a moment together. Then she leaves and we both watch her and I resume my usual seat next to Abby. As she stares at me, with her hand held tightly in mine, I’m not sure what to say, or how to talk about everything that’s happened. “Fuck, baby, I missed you,” I tell her with tears still wet on my cheeks. “Me too. Was I really out for a month?” “Almost. Three weeks, two days.” I wipe my face on my shoulder and her eyebrows scrunch together as she tries to make sense of everything. Then she places her hand over her stomach and bile creeps up the back of my throat. I can’t tell…not now…not yet! “The baby?” she asks and I swallow hard, searching within myself for the strength to break the worst news ever to her. Holding on to the side of her face with one hand, “I…” Fuck me! I can’t tell her. “Tell me, Latch,” she demands, and I shake my head, knowing this will break her. “Please tell me what happened!” And I whisper, “He…he didn’t make it.” She puts her hand over her mouth, her wide eyes are plagued with pain as she processes what I’ve just said. It hurts me just as much. The worst news any parent ever wants to hear is that they’ve lost a child, whether they were just pregnant or their child is grown up. The realization rocks her to the core, just like it’s done to me, and I can’t take it any longer. Lowering the bar on the side of her bed, I slide in next to her. Holding her as close to me as possible. “It was a boy?” she sobs, crying into my chest. “Yeah.” “Noooo, Latch,” she weeps and right now there are no words that will help ease her pain, so I just hold on to her, consoling her, living through the same pain she is as the reality that our son is really gone rains down on us.

“Hey,” Abby says, looking at me through tired eyes. “Hi,” I respond, resting my head on my arm as I lie next to her, still in the same spot that I’ve been since I told her about the baby. “Why are you up?” she asks, looking outside at the dark sky. “Don’t sleep much anymore.” “I’m sorry.” She wraps her hand around mine and blinks heavily, clearly still exhausted. “Go back to sleep,” I tell her, and she closes her eyes. I can’t put into words how grateful I am that she’s come back to me. I’ve been watching her for hours. Loving the difference in knowing that she is asleep and not in a coma. Tickling her hand, I watch her chest heave up and down, so pure and beautiful. Jesus, what I’d do to make love to her, to blend our bodies together and become one. But unfortunately, that is far, far away, so I keep in control. Holding on to the simple token that just having her back is enough. After I gave her the news of the baby, we talked for hours, to the point of exhaustion. Finally, she gave in to her body and fell asleep, but I, however…couldn’t. My mind has been racing, spinning itself into a nasty web of self-doubt and regrets. Thinking there had to have been something I could’ve done to prevent all of this from ever happening. But the unsettling truth is, I don’t know that there was. Abby had so many questions about all of the events that have taken place, most of which I could easily answer. However, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what I’d almost done and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to tell her. Losing our son killed her and knowing she almost lost me too, might send her off the deep end. Weighing the pros with the cons, I’m not sure I see a benefit in telling her. “Did you get to see the baby?” she asks me and I shake my head. She’s asked me a lot of things today, but none of them were about him, or how, or why. I can tell inside she has a lot of unanswered questions, but how do you even begin to talk about them? “I bet he was small.” “Six ounces,” I respond, imagining his size and it’s still unfathomable. She sobs and I get up grabbing the white box with her necklace from the window ledge. “What’s that?” she asks. I hand it to her, my heart trembling it hurts so bad as I search for the words, “It’s him.” She wipes her eyes dry and watches as I pull my necklace from underneath my t-shirt. She looks at the silver cross and then slowly opens the box. Her head falls back against the pillow as she wails, “Noooo!” “I’m sorry, baby.” “This is all we have left?” she exclaims. I hug her, keeping her close to me as we mourn together, reeling in the pain that we truly no longer have a baby. And it hurts so fuckin’ much, like a knife slicing right though me. “I’m sorry I let this happen.” I still can’t break away from the guilt that as a goddamn man, I should’ve been able to protect them. “You didn’t do this,” she insists. “Darrell did.” “But I should’ve kept my guard up better and been one step ahead of him. I promised to protect

you and the baby and I didn’t do that!” She turns her face towards mine, her lips so plump staring at me and I yearn for them like nothing else. Laying my palm against her face, she exhales softly on my skin and I connect our mouths. Not able to hold back any longer. She cries under my touch and slightly pulls away telling me, “Please don’t blame yourself. No matter how hard any of this is, we’ll be okay.” “Thank you, baby.” Her words are somewhat calming, although making myself understand them and living them are just other things that I’m not sure I’m ready to do. Will we be okay? I still haven’t told her what I did. She’s too fragile and when she’s ready, if I can muster up the strength to come clean, I’m not sure how she’ll look at me. “Sleep, baby, your body needs it.” She nuzzles against me and I get lost in the security of having her in my arms. Knowing she is the key to my everything, I pray no matter what, we’ll be okay, as she believes. Quickly, the pain medication takes over and she’s out.

“Latch?” My grandma nudges me awake and I rub my eyes, bringing her into focus. “Hey.” “You better not let them catch you sleeping in her bed.” “Fuck ’em.” I kiss Abby and hold her closer. The nurses didn’t tell me shit as they came in and out of the room to check on her. But I shouldn’t push my luck, so, tenderly, I slide away from her and hug my grandma as she stands in front of me. “I brought you some more clothes.” She hands me a bag and I hug her again. “Thank you so much, you’re the best. I couldn’t have done this without you.” “Of course, you know anything you need, just ask. Did you tell her yet?” she whispers, and I shake my head, knowing that it’s wrong of me to lie, but every time I consider it…I can’t. I’m scared of what it’ll do to her. “You need to.” Grabbing her hand, I guide her out of the room so we can talk in private. “Right now, I can’t do it. It’s too soon. Trust me, I want her to know everything, but I also can’t hurt her or risk her regression. She’s been through so much. I don’t need her to worry about me; I’m fine.” “Are you though? ’Cause I’m really worried about you.” “Yes, I am!” She stares at the ground, still hurt, and I force myself to stay in the moment, as my mind wants to go back to that day I thought I’d lost everything. Lifting her chin with my fingers, I bring her eyes to mine and feel absolutely terrible for putting this pain and worry on her. My entire life, she’s been my rock, my constant, and I’ve been anything but fair to her and I need her to know how sorry I am. Reaching for her hand, I wrap mine around hers and she squeezes me back. Abby is still asleep, so I tell the nurse, “We’ll be right back.” “Okay,” she responds. Walking with my grandma, I find a private area for us to sit and talk. She looks at me confused, waiting for what I have to say. “I’m sorry I didn’t do this sooner. But I want you to know how truly sorry I am for everything. For all the unneeded pain and stress that I’ve caused you. I owe you so much. You’ve saved my life more than once and I’m not sure how to ever thank you for that. What you did the other day and all those years ago means the world to me. And I know you’re worried,

seeing me the way you did. But I’m okay now, I really am. I’m not sure how to reassure you that I am. Maybe it’s because how close I came to losing it all. Going forward, whatever might happen, I will never go there again.” “God, Latch! Thank you for apologizing and saying all those things. I needed to hear it, but deep down I still can’t help worrying. I saw the look in your eye. That day, you weren’t yourself, so how can you be so sure you won’t fall down the same hole again?” She squeezes my hand and I search for the right answer. The correct words to reassure her that…I won’t, no matter what. She takes a tissue out of her purse and wipes the tears away from her cheeks. “Do you remember when I was ten and I saw Dad torching that man?” She grimaces. “Uh huh.” “I was so scared, that I’d end up just like him. But you made me see that I wouldn’t, that I didn’t have to. Do you remember what you said to me then?” She shakes her head and I continue, “You told me to always be true to myself and to follow my gut, and that because I’m nothing like him, I’ll never end up where he is. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you saved my life then and showed me who I can be. You turned me into the man that I am today. I’ve always lived for you and I always will, forever. Right after the accident, I was so lost and didn’t hold on to the grasp of what we had. I’m very sorry I didn’t think about you and what my actions would do to you. You didn’t deserve to see me the way I was or to feel that pain. You deserve more from me. I want you to always be confident in me, in the man you raised. You’ve always accepted me and never doubted me. I promise you I’ll never do anything to hurt myself, no matter what. I’ll come to you first, just like I always have.” “Thank you, Latch. I love you, so much.” She grabs the sides of my face, her cold hands press hard against my cheeks and I place my palms over hers. “I promise, you have nothing to worry about.” She nods and I can see that she believes me. And for the first time since all of this started, I believe myself. Looking into my grandma’s hazel eyes, I owe her everything…just like I always have.

The familiarity of my cellphone resounds through the quiet hospital room and both Latch and I look at each other. The sound used to twist my stomach in knots, fearing it was Darrell, but now…those worries are gone. He gets up to get it and I say, “I didn’t know you had my phone.” “The cops gave it to me when I was questioned.” He passes it to me and I don’t recognize the number. It stops ringing before I can answer and Latch asks, “Who do you think it was?” “I’m not sure.” Then a voicemail chimes in and I check it, looking into his gorgeous eyes as an unfamiliar voice speaks to me. “Hello, Mrs. McEllrath, my name is George Herron, I’m the attorney for your late husband’s estate and I’d like to talk to you regarding his wishes. If you could please call me back at your earliest convenience, I would be grateful.” The voicemail ends and I hang up, my stomach churning thinking of having to deal with Darrell’s family. “Who was it?” he asks me. “An attorney, regarding Darrell’s estate.” “Really!” “Yeah, I guess, I didn’t think about having to handle any of that. What should I do?” “Not a damn thing. Just forget about it for now.” I couldn’t agree with Latch more right now. The last thing I want to do is deal with any legal stuff, or Darrell’s mom and sister. Just then Maris walks into the room with food in hand and I could jump out of the bed. I’m starving and so happy that I can eat something other than the terrible, spongy hospital food. “How are you feeling?” she asks me, kissing my cheek and then pulling the table over my bed to set the food on. “Better.” “Good, are you excited to get released tomorrow?” she asks me, handing me a delicious bowl of pasta from the Metro and a fork. “You have no idea. I just want to be home and to sleep through the night without being poked and prodded.” Latch takes out his food and both he and Maris sit next to me to eat. “I bet, dear.” Removing the lid from my meal, the smell invades my senses. Lifting the fork to my mouth to enjoy my first bite, my phone rings again, and it’s the same number. The noise takes all of our attention away from eating and I ask Latch, “Should I answer it?” showing him the screen. He rolls his eyes and says, “I guess.” “Hello?” “Oh, Mrs. McEllrath, I didn’t think you’d answer. This is George Herron regarding your late husband’s estate. I’m sorry to call again, but I realized I forgot to leave you my number.”

“It’s all right, George. How can I help you?” “Well, let me first say I’m very sorry for your loss and so sorry that you couldn’t make the funeral, but Darrell’s mother and sister…well, they’ve been very adamant about certain things.” “George, you realize that Darrell put me in the hospital and killed my unborn child?” I’m firm in speaking even though it hurts like hell to say the words out loud. Latch sets his food down, looking into my eyes as I talk. I don’t want to hurt him, but I need George to know I’m not Darrell’s widow – I’m his fuckin’ victim. “Yes, ma’am, that is what I’ve heard, I just didn’t know where you stood on things.” “Well, now you know where I stand. There is no need to take pity on me. I don’t care about Darrell or what happened to him. He ruined my life as far as I’m concerned.” “Well, my apologies. I don’t want to keep you, so I’ll get to my reason for calling. The matter of the estate is quite complicated, and Darrell’s mother and sister are very frustrated that I’m stalling, but before I can proceed, it’s important that I discuss things in person with you so I know which direction to take.” “Okay,” I say, wondering why he needs to talk to me first. Darrell told me his mom was the executor of his estate and that she would always make sure I was taken care of if anything ever happened to him. “Could you come to my office tomorrow?” “I’m still in the hospital,” I tell him, even though I’m being released in the morning, hoping it’ll buy me some time. “Very well. Why don’t you call me when you’re home and situated, then we can set up a time to meet?” “Sounds good.” I hang up and quietly set my phone on the table in front of me. Latch and Maris both look like they are about to jump out of their skin. “What did he say?” “He wants to meet with me to discuss the estate once I’m home.” “No way, you’re not doing shit to help him. This is Darrell’s family’s problem.” “Latch, dear, she can’t just run from all of this.” “Why not?” he asks Maris, with a stone cold expression on his face. “Because this is a legal matter. I can call Veronica, my attorney, and see if she can help and handle things for you, dear.” Latch shakes his head profusely and looks at Maris with wide eyes. There is something more here and I don’t like it. “What?” I blurt out. Neither of them answers me and I begin to get pissed off. “Hello? What is going on?” “Nothing,” Latch adds and grabs my hand. Maris gets up and tosses her food in the trash, still avoiding me. “Well, I better get going, dear.” “No! You just got here!” I shout and rip my hand away from his hold. “Would you two stop… whatever this is, and just be fuckin’ honest with me?” Maris looks at Latch and she raises her eyebrows. “So are you gonna tell her, or should I?” Latch runs his hands over his face and scoots closer to me before speaking. Like he’s about to drop a bomb or something. “I…I used to work with her attorney.” “Of course you did. Jesus Christ! Who haven’t you fucked!?”

Today’s the day. Finally, after all we’ve been though, she’s going home and the feeling of making it this far is un-fucking-believable. I can’t stop smiling. I couldn’t be happier to say goodbye to this place and I can tell Abby is too. Even though we don’t have our son, trying to cope with her grief without any real privacy has taking a toll on both of us, especially Abby. I can see the relief on her face as we prepare to leave. “I want to see you in the next few weeks,” her doctor tells her. “Absolutely, I’ll call and make an appointment. Thank you for everything.” “Good, and if you need anything day or night, my pager number is on my card too, just reach out to me.” The doctor shakes our hands and then walks out. Abby looks gorgeous, dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoody. She wasn’t really up for it, but her hair and makeup are all done up to try to project normalcy and hopefully deflect any overly intrusive questions. “Was there a lot of paparazzi out there when you came in today?” she asks my grandma with a tremble in her voice. I don’t know if she has any more fight in her. “Maybe one.” She’s tried to put on a good front, but I can tell her emotional reserves are depleted, and being bombarded by asshole photographers would further stress Abby and I don’t want that, so I tell her, “I’ll be right back, baby.” Her doctor is talking to the nurse and they both look up at me as I approach them. “Everything okay?” “Yeah, we’re great. I was wondering if there would be a back entrance we could leave out of, to avoid the paparazzi? I don’t want to stress Abby out.” “Absolutely, let me have security come up and they can show you where to pull around to.” “Thanks.” “Hey, Latch?” he asks just as I turn to leave. “If she starts to develop any memory problems or forgetfulness, I want you to call me right away, day or night, okay?” I nod, feeling sick to my stomach that this is something we could be facing. Heading back into the room, I tell the girls about the backdoor plan and they both seem to think it’s hilarious. “You know, you’d think you two were teenagers,” I tease, relieved to see a smile on Abby’s face. Lately, the lightheartedness has been hard to come by. “I’m sorry, babe,” Abby says, “It’s just funny the way you said it and how serious you were about this top secret backdoor plan.” I wave them off and crack a smile, prepared to do anything to hear that laugh again and again. “Are you ready?” the nurse asks pushing in a wheelchair.

“We are.” Then my grandma leaves with the security guard to get the car. Abby looks at me with a smile. It’s not the same as it was before the accident, shooting my heart with pain, and she whispers, “I’m ready.” I know it’s because we are leaving without our son. The nurse helps her stand off the bed and then sit in the chair. I grab our bags and follow them out of here. As we walk down the hall, a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders, but a sense of heaviness remains. As good as it feels to be taking Abby home, I can’t help but wish things could be different and that we had our baby with us too. We take the elevator down and Abby must be thinking the same thing as she is nervously fidgeting with her necklace. “We won’t go by the front at all, will we?” “No, not at all,” the nurse tells her. I can see the relief wash over Abby’s face and before I know it, we are in my grandma’s car. As we pull away, I look back and notice a slew of paparazzi camped out front. “Did you see that?” she asks me. “Yeah.” “I hope there are none at our house.” “There won’t be, baby,” I reassure her. “They all think we’re still there.” She nods and I grab her hand, bringing it to my lips, which causes her to look me in the eye, the shadow of grief lurking in hers. “You feeling okay?” I ask, not able to push the fear away that lurks in the back of my head. “Yeah, I’m happy to be going home, to being on our own, to having some privacy. I mean, I wish…but I’m so grateful that I have you,” her voice thickening as she avoids mentioning our son. “I feel the same. Try not to stress your body; you’re still very fragile, beautiful.” “You guys are always welcome to come and stay with me,” my grandma adds. I appreciate the offer. But after all we’ve been through, I’m sure Abby just wants some time alone, just the two of us. “Thank you, we might do that,” I tell my grandma. Pulling up to our house, I spot a paparazzo staked out front. “Fuck,” I mumble under my breath and Abby looks around, spotting him right away. “Just the one?” she asks. “Yeah, let’s get you inside.” I figure the best course of action is to move swiftly. So when my grandma parks the car, I take the opportunity to slide out, helping Abby right along with me. With my arm around her waist, we make a dash for it. “Abby?” he shouts, spotting us, and I tell her, “Just keep moving, baby.” “Abby, how are you feeling? How’s the baby?” Pulling out my keys, I fumble to unlock the door. Abby is gripping my t-shirt like it holds the secret to life, and her head is turned towards my chest, her eyes clenched shut as she attempts to block out his words. And then I hear my grandma yelling and both Abby and I glance to see her in the asshole’s face. Standing between us and him at the bottom steps. “How dare you ambush her like that and think you have a right to ask her personal questions?” She pokes his chest, and I open the front door, sadistically pleased at how scared he looks. Stepping inside, Abby and I watch her, peering out like teenagers spying, for as long as we can tolerate and finally I say, “I’d better go and stop her before she makes him cry.” Kissing her on the cheek, I jog down the front steps and grab my grandma’s waist. “Come on, grandma!” Pulling her away from the chaos and into our home, her face is beet red and once we step inside, I look up at Abby who is standing in the middle of the living room with a letter in her hand.

She is as white as a ghost, and I run to her, panicked, and ask her, “What’s the matter?” She passes me the note and when I read the words, my world spins upside down. Latch, I’ve been calling you for weeks. I hope you’re okay. I miss you. I have something I need to tell you, please call me. XOXO, Jessy Sonofabitch. “Who is she?” Abby asks me, betrayal blazing in her eyes. “She’s no one.” “Latch!” she shouts and I don’t like her getting upset. “Don’t! Don’t fuckin’ treat me like I’m some ignorant whore. Answer the goddamn question.” Taking a deep breath, I have to be honest – there is no sugar-coating who Jessy was or what we did together. “She’s an old client.” “She’s one that came here, to our home, isn’t she?” “Yes.” “Is she…” she puts the back of her hand over her mouth and squats down on the floor in pain. “Goddammit, Latch!” My grandma kisses my cheek and leaves, knowing that she has no place in the middle of any of this and can in no way help. “Baby, please calm down.” “How can you ask me to do that? We just got home and there is already some fucking love letter from a goddamn whore needing to ‘tell you something.’ She’s the one I caught you with when I told you I was pregnant…isn’t she?” Slowly I nod and watch Abby’s heart break right in front of my eyes. She falls to her knees, crying, completely defeated. What effort she gave towards getting through the day, was just stripped away. “Baby, please!” I plead with her, hating that this is happening. “You have nothing to worry about. She’s in my past and you…you, my love, you’re my future and all that matters to me.” “How can you even say that? I lost our child, and I can’t…” she breaks down crying harder and I sit next to her on the floor, holding her tightly against my chest. “Stop it! Don’t you dare blame yourself. You’re perfect. You have nothing to worry about at all. Please let it go. I am not going to contact her. I’d never hurt you like that, you’re my forever.” “But she knows where we live. What about when she shows up knocking on the front door?” “We’ll ignore it. There is nothing she could do to change what we have and how much spending the rest of our lives together means to me.” Abby looks back at me, processing my words. But I’m not really sure if she believes them.

Lying in bed, our bed, in Latch’s arms, is the best feeling in the world. He soothes me in a way I’ve never felt. He makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. With every day that passes, things just get harder and harder and I’m struggling to believe it myself. When everything in this fucked up world is crumbling around me, he makes me see the light, as hard as it is sometimes, and reassures me when the walls are closing in and everything is so suffocating. I breathe in his scent, thankful to have him, and hold on to our love, pushing away the worries of the note his ex…whatever left. He promised me he’ll never have anything to do with her and I trust in that. But closing my eyes, something is nagging in the back of my mind and it’s not just the grief. It’s telling me that we can’t avoid her…not forever. Eventually he’s going to have to deal with her. My mind swirls thinking of all the possibilities, of what she could need to tell him, and the answers I keep coming back to are just not good. Sliding out of bed, I leave him sleeping peacefully. After being stuck in a bed for a month, I’ve rested long enough. Getting up on my own, without rolling a machine along with me, feels so good. Opening the fridge, I’m grateful that Maris stocked it for us. Pulling out a handful of grapes, I begin to eat them, taking comfort in being back home. But when I close the door, the baby’s ultrasound picture is right in front of me and I can’t help but start to weep. Dropping the grapes into the trashcan, I take down the picture and hold it close to me, running my thumb over his tiny body. Then the weight of my necklace bears down on me, and I lose my breath, knowing I’ll never have another child. Bracing my weight on the handle of the fridge, the picture falls from my grasp, landing like a feather on top of the grapes. My stomach churns watching this piece of him go, but I have to hold faith in the fact that the picture fell for a reason. I have him around my neck. I don’t need a picture that reminds me of what I once could’ve had. Especially if it does this to me. Releasing my grip, I search for some fresh air, needing to ground myself, and head out to the balcony. On the way, I notice a huge mound of mail on the table which looks like the perfect distraction, and I grab it, thumbing through it as the warm air hits me. Most of it is for me. I changed my address when I moved in here, knowing that I wanted to cut all ties with Darrell. After a month away, clearly things have piled up. Sitting down, I scope the area for any paparazzi, like I’ve become accustomed to. Thankfully, it is clear this morning and I take a moment inhaling the fresh air that I’ve missed more than I knew was possible. Making sure that I’m okay with the picture still being in the trash, I grip my necklace and keep my mind busy, opening the first of many envelopes. Sorting through all of the madness isn’t hard as the majority of mail is hospital bills. Taking the stack in my hands, I mentally tally up what I owe in total and the amount is fucking astronomical. It’s got to be more money than most people make in probably five years.

Leaning back, I contemplate how to handle this. Darrell never gave me access to our bank accounts. All I have is a credit card, and I’m not even sure what the limit is on it. Granted, Latch has some money and promised to financially take care of me, but his money is dwindling fast, that’s a fact neither of us can deny. It’s not going to be enough to take care of us forever and all of these bills. As much as Latch doesn’t want to deal with Darrell’s estate, maybe seeing what George has to say and what I’m entitled to isn’t that bad of a choice. Even though it feels wrong since Darrell is the one that took the life of our child and is the reason that all we are left with are his ashes. Setting all the bills aside, I run my hand back and forth over my necklace. A pang of guilt hits me hard for even considering this. But the truth is, Latch and I don’t work and his money is not endless. There will come a day that we have to make a choice, and I’ll be damned if these bills put us in a position that causes him to ever consider going back to his line of work even for a second. I don’t know if we’d survive something like that. Heading back inside, Latch is still asleep. The sight is settling. And in this chaos, he is my only constant. So I know what I have to do to keep it that way. Pushing myself into an emotionless state as I grab my phone off the charger, I take it back outside to call George. Even though I shouldn’t do this behind Latch’s back, something is telling me I need to take control of our life and the situation, as we both know far too well that we don’t know what the future will hold. Dialing George’s phone number, I close the sliding door and nervously tap my foot on the ground as I take a seat. Then I realize how early it is and know he won’t answer. As his voicemail recording directs me to leave a message, I second guess everything and hang up. What in the hell am I thinking? Staring at the blank screen, he calls me back and I jump, startled. What the fuck? “Hello,” I answer nervously. “Abby, I’m sorry I missed you.” “Uhh, that’s okay. I…I didn’t realize how early it was.” “Oh, that’s quite all right. I’m an early riser. So are you home and feeling better?” “I am, thanks. Do you still want to meet?” I feel sick to my stomach asking him. “Of course, that would be great. And to prepare you beforehand so everything isn’t so overwhelming, how about I highlight everything that pertains to you and send you over the estate documents? Then this way, you can read through it all and have an idea of things before we meet face to face and come with all your questions?” I like the idea a lot. Because quite frankly, I don’t want to meet with him at all if I can avoid it. “Okay.” I give him my email and then we hang up. Looking out at the clouds rolling by, I’m not really sure what to do now, or why I didn’t just flat out ask him what the documents say. Maybe internally, it’s my own way of protecting myself because deep down, I really don’t want to know. Plus, Latch doesn’t want anything to do with all of this either. Walking back inside, the pile of bills echoes in my head. They are never going to disappear unless I do something…and if I don’t, they could tear Latch and I apart like every other negative thing in the universe always seems to try to.

“I knew I smelled your cooking,” Latch says hugging me from behind. I flip his favorite pancakes and savor the delicate touch of his sweet lips on my cheek, keeping the

tears at bay as I immerse myself in the simple pleasure of being home. “How’d you sleep?” I ask him. “Like a fuckin’ rock. It’s so good to be home. What about you?” “Okay.” “You feeling all right?” he asks pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Yeah, I was up early, stressing about things.” “What things?” he asks ignorantly, and I literally stare at him for a moment before speaking. “Uh, I don’t know. The canny letter from the whore you used to sleep with. The stress of dealing with Darrell’s estate and the colossal amounts of hospital bills I found piled up on the kitchen table today. It’s pretty much enough to put me back in the hospital, but this time in the psych ward.” Latch turns me towards him and forces my eyes to his. “Would you stop stressing about everything that you can’t control? This is all minor shit compared to the mountain that we’ve climbed over already. I’ll handle the bills, and that chick and Darrell’s estate we’re going to ignore.” I swallow, feeling guilty for calling George behind his back. “Oh, so just like that, it’s all handled?” I grab the syrup from the cabinet and he says, “Yes!” “How on earth are you going to pay all the bills? Do you even know how much they total?” “It doesn’t matter. I have money.” “Latch, I’m aware how much money you have and it’s not enough. Don’t you see why I’m so stressed about everything? It’s not all as easy as you make it out to be.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and I hand him a plate of pancakes. He sets it down and reassuringly kisses me, pouring so much love and adoration into it, as he about takes me off my feet and spins me around in the kitchen. Typically, I’d give right in to him, but knowing Latch so well, this is just a distraction tactic; he’s worried too and doesn’t know how to answer me. Stopping him, even though it hurts like hell, he blinks, stunned. I hand him his plate and say, “It’s not going to be that easy. This is serious shit we have to talk about. We’re gonna eat and figure it all out.”

I know it is naïve of me to think I can avoid Darrell’s estate and Jessy forever, but if it keeps Abby from being stressed then I’ll push the idea. I’ll figure out another way to make money and take care of us. I can handle it all and take care of her. Watching her eat her breakfast, I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to piss her off, so I just eat, enjoying such a small thing that we are able to do together in our home. Internally, I hope being home and out of the hospital will help her heart heal, and move past the pain that is still fresh from losing our son. My distraction of sex failed miserably, but it’s all I know how to cope sometimes and I felt out of options…out of control. She knows me so fucking well. As she eats, Abby keeps fidgeting with her necklace, and I can tell she’s uneasy about things. So I ask, like she wants, “What do you want to talk about first?” She won’t make eye contact with me, and I wish I could tell her the road ahead of us is going to be nothing but smooth sailing, but deep down, something’s telling me that’s not the case. “I called Darrell’s estate attorney today.” “What? Why would you do that, baby?” “I told him I would when I was home.” “Don’t give me that BS, Abby. I thought we were avoiding him and Jessy.” “No, you want to avoid them. I think we need to handle things, and that means you need to call her and find out what she wants.” “Why?” I’m caught off guard. First I thought we were going to talk about bills, now she wants me to call this girl. “Because we need to know what we’re dealing with here.” “Okay. What are we dealing with regarding Darrell’s estate?” “I don’t know. He said he’s going to email me the documents. I might not even open them.” I shake my head, agitated that she went behind my back and did this. “If you’re not even going to open the email, why do I have to call her?” “Because it’s the right thing to do.” “Fuck that. I don’t care about right or wrong. I only care about you.” “Well, I want you to call her. I need to know what she has to say. If she came to our house, and has been trying to contact you for weeks, then it has to be damn important. Aren’t you the least bit curious?” “No, not at all. I couldn’t care less about what she has to tell me.” “You don’t have to agree with me on this, but I’d like you to call her…that’s all I’m asking for.” I finish my food and can tell there is no talking her out of this right now, or ever for that fact. “If I call her, do you promise not to open the email without discussing it with me first?” “Sure.”

“Well, I need to get another cell phone and see if they can transfer my contacts ’cause I don’t have her number.” “Where is your phone?” Abby asks me, not knowing the truth, that I left my phone in the cab after I thought she was dead. As that ugly monster pokes his way back into our lives, I shut him out. There’s no point in telling her; it’ll hurt more than help. “I lost it after the accident.” “Okay,” she responds without probing further, and I’m grateful that she doesn’t ask anything else. Telling her right now isn’t going to benefit either of us, that I’m sure of. “We can go after we eat.” “Thank you, Latch, it means a lot to me.” “Baby, I’ll always do anything you need me to. I just don’t want to make the wrong decisions and cause you any unwanted stress, that’s all.” Leaning over, I take her hand in mine. She gives me that look, the one I’ve been searching for, for so long now and I blink a few times, totally taken aback. After all her shit today, all it took was me agreeing to what she wanted. Taking my last bite of food, I lead her away from the table. She follows close to me and a feeling I haven’t felt in so fuckin’ long invades my system. Finally! Laying her gently on the plush fabric of our bed, her hair fans out around her and she bites her bottom lip. Nudging her chin up with my nose, I nip and suck on her sweet skin, my cock so hard as it grinds against her. My hands grip the sheets, so eager that I just want to tear into her. She whimpers from the friction and looks at me through hooded lids. But before I push things too far, too soon, I ask her, “Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” “Yes,” she answers breathlessly and pulls her panties down. I help her guide them down the length of her sweet legs and race to remove my shorts, gripping my cock in my hand as I hover over her sweet cunt. She sits up and pulls her shirt over her head, and as I admire her body, the tiny scar from the C-section rakes pain through me. It’s healed so well, now just a faint line, compared to what it was, and I shake away the nasty images as it’s making my dick soft, asking her again, “Are you sure?” “Yes, Latch, please…I need you.” With focused intensity, I stiffen up and slip inside of her. The walls of her pussy conform around me, embracing me, the way only Abby can, and I lose my breath. The sensation her pussy gives me is un-fucking-believable. “Fuck,” I grunt as I begin to stroke in and out of her. She moans softly, her fingernails digging into my back, and I drop my head, getting lost in the moment, the way I have so many times before. And it doesn’t matter, all of the shit we’ve been through, or what we have to face, because she reassures me that we’ll make it. Just by being. Wrapping up every last worry and fear I have, I let them all go, focusing only on pleasing Abby. Her eyes are screwed shut as she moans my name and urges me on. “Yes, Latch.” She whines and what would normally turn into rough, carnal sex, I can no longer push myself there. Not this soon after the accident. I worry I’ll hurt her, so I keep steady, deep, long trusts, traveling to a far away place with just her. “Mmhh, mmhh,” she bellows, and I pull our bodies closer together. My insides are on fire, the control I once had has vanished. My orgasm is right at the tips of my fingers and quickly I lose the battle, coming out of the blue. Abby grips my biceps as I let go, then shudders, just a tick behind me, letting go herself. My movements slow and I rest my nose against hers, breathing harshly. I never thought I’d ever get to do

this again with her, but here we are. I’m not sure how I got so damn lucky. If I’ve learned one thing through all of this, it’s to never take one second in life for granted. If she wants me to call Jessy, then so be it. I’ll handle it and put it behind us, like we have so many other things. Because I just want to make Abby happy.

“So she didn’t say what it was about?” Abby asks me. “No, I asked, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. She just said that what she needed to tell me she had to do in person.” “What do you think it is?” “I don’t know, maybe she wants money?” “For what?” “Maybe she thinks she can blackmail me, or just needs to borrow some.” “Did you tell her I was going to be here?” Abby asks me. “No, she doesn’t get a fuckin’ say in that. If she wants to meet, then she’s meeting with you, too.” Abby smiles and I kiss her cheek, keeping her body close to mine as we wait for Jessy inside the small coffee shop. “Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” She shakes her head. “No, my stomach is a mess.” I kiss her lips, trying to calm her and as I look at the front door, there she is, dressed like she’s going out on the town. Wearing a tight red dress, her hair and makeup are all done up, and Abby tenses next to me. “Is that her?” I nod and Jessy looks around the room, trying to find me, clearly not looking for me sitting with someone else. Then just as she notices us, the swag she had walking in shifts when she sees my arm around Abby. Her face contorts as she walks over to us, and I keep my expression stone cold. “Hi Latch,” she says timidly. “Jessy, this is my girlfriend, Abby. Abby, Jessy.” The girls glare at one another and I figure I might as well get right to the point. “Jessy, why did you want to meet?” She pulls out a chair and takes a seat across from us. Getting lost in her own world for a minute, looking at me before proceeding, like she’s going back in time, and I don’t like it. “Sorry, I, uhh…I didn’t know you were bringing your girlfriend.” “Is that a problem?” Abby asks. “No, it’s… it’s just, this is a little awkward.” “Just spit it out, would ya?” “Latch,” she bites her bottom lip stalling, and I could wring her neck for acting like this. Thank God she’s a woman, because I would never lay a hand on her. “I’m pregnant, and the baby is yours.” What? “No way, it’s not possible, Jessy!” I feel Abby’s hand slip from my thigh and I grab it harder than ever. “I’m sorry, Latch, but it is. I haven’t been with anyone but you for the last two years.” “How far along are you?” Abby bravely chokes out, and she says, “Not long at all.” “Have you even been to the doctor?” I balk. She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to go until I talked to you. I wanted to offer for you to come.”

Abby is antsy next to me, I can sense it, then she nudges me and says, “Will you let me up?” “What’s wrong?” I ask Abby. “I can’t do this, Latch.” “Then let’s go.” I look at her dead serious and stand holding my hand out to her. She’s not leaving me. If she’s gone, then I’m gone. “Did you need to say anything else?” I ask Jessy and look at her, pissed. She stares offended and then says, “Are you really going to just abandon your baby like that?” Abby and I walk away and she yells, “You wouldn’t walk out on her baby!” Abby’s grip on my hand is loose and telling me that she wants nothing to do with me right now. But I have to somehow make this better. Pushing the unsettling news aside, I focus on Abby and making things right.

“What the fuck, Latch? You told me you’ve always used protection! With everyone!” I scream, not only pissed at him, but so completely fucking heartbroken. Everything that I thought we were, or had, or could count on, has been put into question, making me second guess it all. “I did…always. I promise, baby.” “Apparently not. How else could she end up pregnant?” “How the fuck do I know?” “Did a condom break?” “No, baby, never. Please calm down.” I turn towards him, clenching my jaw. An anger I’ve never felt rages, and I snap, “No! I won’t fuckin’ calm down! Don’t you get it? I lost our baby and now some tramp who looks like a goddamn teenager is carrying your child. Don’t you see how fucked up that is?” I sit on the loveseat, disgusted, and he comes between my legs, his hands trembling as he reaches for my face. I swallow back the tears as he touches me, and as much as I just want to lean into him…I can’t. “Everything is so fucked up now.” “No, it’s not,” he tells me. “How can you say that? What are we even gonna do?” I whisper. “We’ll figure it out, like always.” I look into his eyes. The words I’ve always trusted and counted on feel like such a lie. Then the words spill from my mouth, scaring me as I fathom the repercussions of their truth. “I don’t know if I can figure this one out.” “No!” He shakes his head and my heart hurts, twisting inside of me like a knife, cutting me in half watching him hurting, but I won’t lie to him and act like I’m okay with everything…because I’m not. “Please don’t say things like that, things you can’t take back.” He flips my words back on me that I used so long ago on him and I finally come clean. Not wanting to admit to the truth, but I have to. “Latch, I never told you this, but…I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Our baby, the one we lost, he was a miracle and our only chance at creating life.” My words shock him as his sexy chin tucks into his neck and he shakes his head. “No, that’s not true.” “It is. I’m sorry I never told you. I was so excited when we were pregnant. I can’t sit back now and watch you go through the only thing I’ve ever wanted and dreamed about, with another woman.” “Then I won’t be a part of it, baby!” I cup his face, his wet cheek hurts my core, and I tell him, “You have to. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. You need to be there for her.”

“No!” he pleads, and I get up, leaving him sobbing on the floor in the spot he kneeled between my legs. My gut tells me to go even though my mind is screaming at me to stay. Right now I need space, some perspective. My insides are shredded to pieces as I reach for the door handle. His head spins towards me, his eyes wild, and he shoots off the floor slamming his hand on the door, stopping me from leaving. “Don’t!” he shouts. “Abby, I don’t care if we can’t have kids.” “I do!” I scream, gripping my hair. “Please let me go,” I plead. “You promised me you’d never run.” I swallow as an expression I haven’t seen from him plagues his face, and I whisper, “I’m not running, I just need some space and to catch my breath.” “No, Abby. Fuck! No! No! No! The last time I gave you space, I almost fucking lost you.” “I’m sorry, Latch.” He shakes his head, and I grab his hand, gingerly lowering his arm. He doesn’t fight me and my stomach is roiling as I turn the doorknob and step outside. He’s so fucking broken as he slumps to his knees. Closing the door, every muscle in my body aches at the sight of him and I walk off, hating myself so much right now, but this is what I need. Getting into the first cab I see, I’m wrecked. Leaving him like that is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but if I stay, things will escalate and I’ll take my anger out on him, only making this whole situation worse. Crying into my hands, I am interrupted by the cabbie and pay him before running inside Maris’ house. “Maris?” I call, my grief telegraphed in my tone. “What’s the matter?” she asks, getting off the couch, worried. I close the door and fall into her arms, sobbing like a child, and she asks me, “Abby, what happened? Is Latch okay?” I nod and tell her, “We…we met with that woman and she’s pregnant with his child.” I told Maris when I was in the hospital about my condition, so she knows how much this all means to me. “Oh, dear,” she holds me in a tight hug. “I’m very sorry.” I cry, entirely crushed, letting every pent up emotion roll out of me and onto her purple cardigan. Then her phone rings and she says, “It’s Latch. Does he know you’re here?” I shake my head and she answers the phone. “Hello?” Right away, I hear him freaking out, causing everything in my core to burn that much more. “She’s here with me. No, Latch, just give her some time. She’s in a safe place, you know that.” “No, I mean it.” She is firm in her response and then says, “Remember what you promised me?” and steps out of the room. I’m not sure what to do; my mind is tortured by so many fucked up images, and instinctively, I run my hand over my stomach, like I’d become so used to. It was my one constant. The baby I was carrying soothed me from all the stresses of my fucked up life, and now it hurts like hell how empty I am. Everything that was supposed to go as planned was ripped from my grasp in the blink of an eye. Silently I cry into the couch, so lost. Maris comes back into the living room, having ended her call, and rubs my back. “Come on, dear, let’s have some tea.” I get up knowing that I can’t lie around and feel sorry for myself around her. It’s not going to help anything anyways. I came here to talk about things, and as much as it hurts, I need to do just that. “What did he say?” “He’s a mess, I could barely understand him.” “Is he coming here?” “No, I told him not to.” She puts on a pot of water and grabs my hand, looking at me with her warm hazel eyes. “I’m so sorry, Abby, for everything that you’ve already been through, and now…

for this.” “Thank you,” I whisper. “Would you mind telling me what this woman said?” “More like a girl,” I sneer. She pats my hand and I continue filling her in on everything. Hoping she can provide me with the guidance and answers that I need to work through this.

Pacing across my house, I don’t know what to fucking do. My insides are a goddamn mess of anxiety. Only Abby can calm me right now and she’s not here. It’s been almost six hours since she walked out on me, and I’m beginning to lose my mind. Granted, my grandma said for me to give her some space and time…but each minute apart is becoming more and more unbearable. She promised me that she’d never run, and I’m worried that is exactly what she’s thinking of doing. My phone rings and I answer it in a rush. “Abby?” “No, it’s Jessy.” “Fuck,” I say loudly, not wanting to deal with her shit right now. “What the fuck’s up?” “I’m not feeling well, I’m super nauseous, and I was wondering if you could pick me up some medicine.” “Dammit, Jessy, didn’t you get my point earlier?” “What do you mean?” she asks blindly. “It’s not my fuckin’ responsibility. You’ve already messed up enough shit in my life.” “Hey, you did this too, so don’t get shitty with me. I didn’t make this kid all by myself.” “Well, I wore a condom every time we were together, so it’s kinda hard to believe you.” “Latch, you do know that condoms are only ninety-seven percent effective right? With how much work you did, you’ve probably got an army of children running around.” “Fuck you and your kid!” “You’d really turn your back on this baby, because of me? It’s helpless and doesn’t get to pick its parents.” Hearing her say the word “baby,” makes me think of my and Abby’s son and how I’d do anything to have him back. Instinctively, I move my hand over my necklace and say, “I’m not agreeing to anything without talking with Abby, but what do you need me to pick up? Like a prescription?” I ask, staring at a picture of Abby, completely zoned out. “No, just something from the pharmacy.” “You’re pregnant, Jess. You can’t take shit over the counter. Call your fucking doctor.” “I did. They can’t get me in until next week.” “Then I can’t help you. Let me know when your appointment is, I wanna go,” I bark and hang up on her. Still holding Abby’s picture, I can’t take it anymore. I need to be with her. Heading to my grandma’s, I don’t call ’cause she’ll just try to stop me. Instead I just show up, and quietly enter her house. She is cooking dinner and I look for Abby, but don’t spot her. “Latch.” My grandma is caught off guard and gives me a hug. “Where’s Abby?” I ask her. “I thought she was home with you.”

“What? No, I haven’t seen her all day.” “She left here a couple hours ago.” “Where did she say she was going?” “Home,” she responds and I pull out my phone dialing Abby, close to flipping out. Her phone rings and rings, but she never answers. I hang up and dial again. The same thing happens and I get really fucking worried. “She’s not answering. What else did she say?” “Nothing.” “What did you guys talk about?” “A lot of stuff. Why are you freaking out?” “Because this isn’t like Abby. Did you tell her what I did?” She pauses and then says, “Why haven’t you yet?” “That’s not the point!” I shout, “Did you tell her?” She shakes her head and I say, “I’m going to go find her. If you hear a word from her, call me, and stay here in case she comes back, okay?” “ ’Kay, dear, I love you,” my grandmother says and hugs me tightly. Then I rush out going to the only other place that I think she could possibly be. Taking a cab across town to her condo, I get an uneasy feeling pulling up to it. I don’t want to go inside, but I have to. Running in, I push the elevator call button and take it up the fifteenth floor. Once I am on her level, I jog down the hall and bang on the door. “Abby?” I shout, dialing her phone again. She doesn’t answer and I don’t hear it inside. So I keep banging, praying that she’ll answer, she has to be here. “Abby!?” I holler even louder, but everything is still silent. Sliding down the door, I’m so fucking terrified. Where could she have gone? Why would she have told Maris she was going home and then just disappeared? Resting my head on my knees, I cry like a fucking pussy, feeling my world spiraling out of control the way it did when I’d thought she was dead.

Heading home from Maris’, my cell phone rings. Pulling it out, I answer the number I don’t recognize and a familiar voice says, “Abby?” “Yeah.” “Hey, it’s Mike from your condo. I hate to bother you, but I thought you’d want to know that Darrell’s family is demanding access to the apartment.” “Who is?” “His mom and sister.” “Christ! Thank you for calling, Mike, they have no right to go in. I’ll be right there.” Telling the cab driver the address to the condo, I dial the number for George. “This is George Herron,” he answers. “George, this is Abby McEllrath, I just got a call that Darrell’s family is trying to go into the condo he and I shared. I haven’t spoken to them, so I don’t know what they could want, but can they do that?” “No, Abby, they most certainty can’t. Do you want help handling things?” “No, I’ll handle it. Thank you.” “Of course, let me know if you need anything else.” Pulling up to the condo, I get an unsettling feeling being back here. But I persevere and hop out of the cab, spotting Mike waiting for me. “Where are they?” I ask him and he responds, putting out his cigarette, “They just went upstairs. They have all sorts of legal paperwork they gave my building manager and were really fucking adamant.” “Well, they have no right to go in. I just spoke to the estate attorney.” We rush inside and take the freight elevator up. As soon as the doors open, I jog down the hall, then barrel through the front door of my condo. The building manager is standing in my kitchen, completely lost, reading whatever they must’ve given him. “Mrs. McEllrath?” He is dumbfounded and I ask him, “Where the fuck are they?” He points upstairs and I drop my bag to the ground. “Let me handle this, Mike!” I dart off running after them. These fucking twats have always had it out for me from the day I met Darrell. So I’m sure they’ve got to have some sort of a sneaky ass agenda. Searching room after room, I can’t find them. Then, walking into the office, his sister Laura is on the computer and his mom is digging through the files inside of the desk. “What the fuck are you doing in this house?” I snap and their heads turn like vultures zoning in on their prey. “Well, well, well! If it isn’t the whore herself,” his sister sneers. “I asked you a question, you stupid bitch. Why are you here?” His mom steps to me and I stand my ground. She points her sharp fake ass nail at me and says,

“This isn’t your home, and it hasn’t been since you killed my son.” My blood pressure sores at her accusation. “How dare you?” I grab her finger out of my face and shout, “He killed my baby!” bending it as far backwards as I can. She screams and Laura tries to pull me away from her, knotting her fingers into the back of my hair. Adrenaline courses through my body and I elbow her, slamming her square in the face. Her nose cracks against my arm and she screeches, then Bernadette slaps me across the face. I hold my cheek looking at her with a crazy smirk and automatically unleash a fury of venom upon her. Everything blurs as I take out every bound up bit of aggression burning in my soul. But suddenly, I’m pulled backwards and Mike shouts, “Stop it, Abby!” Brushing the hair out of my face, I holler, “I want them out of my house!” Laura is on the phone holding a mound of tissue over her nose, and I yell again, “Get the fuck out! NOW!” Laura walks off and Bernadette scoffs at me following her. Catching my breath, everything inside of me is sore. My body wasn’t ready for that. But when it comes to those two, I always lose my temper. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. Things got so volatile in the past that Darrell and I stopped going to family functions. Mike lets go of my arms once the room is empty and asks me, “Are you okay?” I nod focusing on my breathing and hold on to my shoulder, having tweaked it in the process of throwing elbows. Looking around the office at all of Darrell’s things left in the exact place he put them before his suicide mission, my stomach knots up, and I say, “I’m fine, I just need to get out of here.” “Okay,” he walks with me downstairs and I tell him, “Thank you for calling me. I’m sorry I lost my temper.” “It’s okay. I totally understand.” He pulls me into a friendly hug, and then I grab my purse from the floor, opening the door to the condo, but I am stopped dead in my tracks as two police officers come walking up with Laura. This fucking cunt called the cops…for real? She gives me a dumb ass scowl, still holding tissue over her busted nose. “Seriously? After you break into my home, you’re going to call the cops on me?” “We didn’t break in. We have the legal right to enter the property, per the estate documents, and quite frankly…this isn’t your house anymore.” I shake my head and a police officer says, “Mrs. McEllrath, did you hit this woman?” “I didn’t hit her. I elbowed her to get her off my back. She was attacking me.” The cop looks me up and down. “I don’t see any marks.” I look down at my arms and he is right, there is nothing. “Please put your hands behind your back.” “What? No! Why?” “You’re under arrest for aggravated assault.” “They were in my house!” “With permission from the building manager, pertinent to the proper legal documents.” I stare at Mike, blinking a few times as my hands are cuffed together and he reads me my Miranda rights, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you, Mrs. McEllrath?” I nod, mortified that I am being arrested and hauled away like a fucking animal for protecting

what is rightfully mine. Whatever happened to questioning all parties before jumping to a conclusion?

“I’m starting to freak the fuck out!” I shout at my grandma and I can see she is just as worried, but she’s trying to act strong for me. “I’m sure she’s fine.” “She fucking disappeared. What makes you think any part of that is fine? Can’t the cops help?” “They wont do anything until it’s been twenty-four hours.” “Then I’ll lie and say it’s been that long.” My phone rings from a blocked number. Right away, I answer it. “Hello?” “Latch?” “Abby?” I yell and a tsunami of relief crashes over me and finally after stressing my body to the max, I sit down, trying to focus on what she’s about to say. Thank God it’s her. “Are you okay?” “I’m fine. I need you to listen to me.” “Where are you?” “I’m at the police station, I got arrested.” “What the fuck for?” I shriek. “For assaulting Darrell’s mom and sister. It’s a long story; I’ll fill you in on the details later.” “Fuck, baby, you’re not hurt are you?” “I’m okay, baby. Please listen to me. I don’t have long on the phone. I got a call that his family was trying to go into the condo and when I got there, I caught them going through all his stuff. Then I lost my temper.” “Why didn’t you call me?” “It all happened so quickly. I need you to call George Herron, he’s the estate attorney. He told me they weren’t allowed in the house, but they flashed all sorts of paperwork to the building manager which got them in and got me arrested in the process. George will have what we need to prove they weren’t allowed inside and to get me out of here.” Abby is panicked, speaking a million miles a minute and I feel terrible this happened to her. Getting up, I walk to the fridge and write the attorney’s name on a notepad that Maris has, and then repeat it to her. “Yes, baby. I’m so sorry. I feel like an idiot,” she says. “Don’t ever be sorry, you hear me? I’m so happy you’re all right.” “Thank you, Latch, for everything. I’m sorry for this morning. I love you.” “Don’t be sorry. I love you more.” “Now get me out of here.” “I’m on it, babe!”

I don’t want to hang the phone up, but I’ll always listen to Abby, no matter what she asks. It’s why I let her go earlier today, when it killed me to do so. “What did she say?” my grandma asks me. I fill her in on all of the details and neither of us can imagine Abby doing that, and then do as she asks, looking up the number for Darrell’s estate attorney. As much as I want nothing to do with Darrell, or his estate, or anything that is connected to him, right now this man holds the key to Abby’s freedom. And I’ll stop at nothing to have her home and back in my arms again.

“Stop!” Maris says as I bounce my knee up and down, anxiously waiting for Abby to be released. “Sorry. But it’s been hours. I don’t get what the fucking hold up is.” “I don’t know, dear.” Placing my head in my hands, I rake my fingers through my hair. George has been speaking with the cops forever. He’s got all the documents that state Abby is the sole executor, and I’d bet the beneficiary too, of Darrell’s estate, which absolutely blows my mind. Why would Darrell go through all the hassle to cut his family out, and then give it all to Abby, especially when he tried to kill her? I keep coming back to the same reasoning: his name and his innocence. Whether she lived or not, he wanted it to look like she was his world and he would never do anything to hurt her. That’s the only explanation. It just goes to show how truly sick and demented of a person he was. Regardless of his reasoning, I couldn’t give two shits. I don’t want a penny of his money. He killed my child and that is something that I will never be able to look past. Checking the time on my phone, I notice a missed text from Jessy that says, I’m feeling much better. I got some anti-nausea bands and a real ginger supplement from Duane Reade. I knew there was something over the counter I could take. Now our little one and me are gonna get to bed. Good night, Latch. This chick is a fucking piece of work. Is this what I’m going to have to deal with for the next nine months? Resting my head back, I close my eyes waiting for Abby, letting all the other noise disappear; soon I’ll have her in my arms and it’ll all be okay. Then the doors open and I look to see George walk out with a frown on his face. “What’s the matter? Where’s Abby?” “I’m sorry, Latch. She’s already been booked and has a hearing scheduled with the judge in the morning. They said the judge is going to have to review both documents and then make the decision regarding her release.” “Are you fucking kidding me, man? She just called me and was here at the station.” “I know. Then they booked her and since it’s the middle of the night now and both documents look authentic, it’s up to the judge.” “Fuck that!” I shout, and my grandma touches my arm to try and calm me down, but it’s useless. “She’s not a fucking criminal,” I yell. “I know she’s not, but this is what we’re dealing with. She’s gonna need an attorney to represent her. You don’t want her to get stuck with a court-appointed one.” “Can you represent her?” I ask George. “I wish I could, but I’m just an estate attorney.” “I can call Veronica,” my grandma adds.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Is she a defense attorney?” George asks. “Yes,” my grandma responds. “If you could have her on Abby’s side by the morning, then I don’t see any reason why she’s not home tomorrow. Our document is the real one. We just need someone to prove that.” Contemplating what to do, my options are slim. I don’t know any attorneys except for Veronica, who I unfortunately used to fuck, which means Abby will want nothing to do with her, but right now, my past can’t impede my decision making. I have to let all that go. “Do you really think Veronica can get her released?” “It should be a straight forward matter,” George says. “Then couldn’t a court appointed attorney handle it?” “I wouldn’t risk it, Latch.” And I wont. I only hope Abby can let go of any grudge against Veronica too. Looking my grandma in the eye, I tell her, “Call Veronica.”

The noise in here is so loud that my ears hurt. I didn’t sleep for shit and my body is sore after being forced to lie on the cardboard mattress. Looking around at all the women from all walks of life, I can’t believe that I am in the same boat they are. Locked behind a door— “McEllrath!” a guard shouts and I pause my ruminations hearing my own name, surprised, and then dart across the room. I stop at the door and she says, “Hands in front of you.” I give her both of my wrists, which she cuffs, and then we proceed down the hall. “Where are we going?” I ask. “Your attorney’s here before court.” She opens the door to a tiny square room with just a metal table and two chairs in it, and I sit down, waiting. Nervously, I strum my fingers, imagining having to go to court today. What if the judge doesn’t agree with me and…but I stop the thought dead in its tracks. That won’t happen. Then the other door in the room opens and in walks a tall, skinny, gorgeous woman. “Hello Abby, I’m Veronica Taylor, I’ll be representing you.” She takes a seat and the moment her name registers in my brain, bile rises to the back of my throat as visions of her and Latch race through my head. I shake my head as she is digging through her briefcase. “Absolutely not!” I growl and she blinks a few times sitting across from me, stunned. Folding her hands on the table she asks me, “I’m sorry, is there a problem?” “I know who you are and that you used to fuck Latch. Get out…now!” I scream like a fucking psycho, having to face yet another one of the gorgeous women he used to work with and it has my skin crawling. I can’t even call it “work.” These are women he fucked! “Abby, I can assure you that Latch and I kept a very professional relationship, which ended many years ago.” Standing up, I lean over the table, my hands shaking, cuffed to one another as I look into her goldrimmed eyes and scoff, “Fuck you!” “This is not a good idea.” “Guard!” I shout, banging on the door I came in. Then it opens and I turn to the tramp, feeling the air come back to my lungs knowing I can get away from her. “I don’t care what you think is a good idea or not, I’ll represent myself.”

Sitting in what feels like the center of the courtroom, wearing an orange jumpsuit, with all eyes on me as I wait for the judge to give her verdict, is unsettling. My fate is in the hands of one woman. What if

she finds me guilty and I’m convicted of assault? She could very easily do that, and then I’m not sure what I’ll do. She didn’t even ask me details about the assault, so I’m not sure how she’s going to fairly decide. I’ve never had to defend myself and the decision to represent myself is beginning to scare me. Should I have said more? Less? I really hope I didn’t fuck myself over. Looking back at Latch and Maris, I can see they’re uneasy too. There is a clear line of pain etched across Latch’s face, which is the last thing I wanted to cause him. But when it comes to Darrell’s family, I can’t control myself. But it’s not just that. It’s the fact that I chose to represent myself, which I truly hope he understands. Reading through my notes again, written on a thin sheet of white paper, trying to reassure myself, I pray to God that this all goes my way. With my hands placed neatly in my lap, I close my eyes. “All rise for the honorable Judge Ramirez,” the bailiff says. I stand, my heart beating so hard inside my chest. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. “Please have a seat. Thank you. Mrs. McEllrath, I’ve had a chance to review both documents. The one your late husband’s mother and sister gave to authorities when you were arrested, and the other one, that was submitted this morning by George Herron, the estate attorney for Mr. McEllrath’s estate. Let me begin by saying how sincerely sorry I am for everything that you’ve been through. There are clear discrepancies between both documents that I believe a child could point out. But to be thorough, I spoke with the notary public and the estate attorney. Regardless of what happened on the day of the assault, Mr. McEllrath’s family was out of line and broke the law. The document that is authentic clearly states you as the sole beneficiary and executor of the Estate. I’m hereby dropping all charges and releasing you immediately.” A surge of relief crashes over me, I’m not sure how or why I got so damn lucky, but after everything I’ve been through lately, I needed a break. An officer removes my handcuffs and I rub my wrists then turn to Latch and Maris with tears in my eyes. “Thank you, your Honor.”

Waiting for Abby to come out, my stomach is churning. Even though the judge said she was released, I can’t help but worry she won’t be coming, and I’m so anxious, it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve held her. I need her right now. Especially with how we last saw each other. But that all ends the moment she comes walking out, and the second that she spots me, she runs and jumps into my arms. I hold her tighter than ever, kissing her neck as I bury my face into her sweet skin. “Are you all right?” I ask, needing to know she’s okay. “Yeah, you?” I nod, and my grandma hugs her, with a huge smile plastered across her face. “I’m so sorry about the whole Veronica thing,” she says, right away taking the blame off me. “It was my idea. I thought she could help, please don’t be mad at Latch.” “Can we just forget about all that for right now and get out of here?” Abby asks. “Sure,” I say happily, “But you have a bit of an audience waiting for you.” She looks outside at the bombardment of paparazzi all standing with their cameras ready to attack. “How do they always know where to find me? “It’s their job. You want me to see if we can leave another way?” “No, I just want to go!” With my arm wrapped tightly around her and my grandmother in tow, we head out. “Abby! Abby!” they chant like they always do and we hurry to the car, which thankfully is parked right out front. “How does it feel to be the executor and beneficiary of the estate for the man who killed your child?” Abby tenses in my hold and I rush her into the back of the car, slamming the door. My grandma is already in the driver ’s seat, and as we pull away, Abby says, “I still can’t believe Darrell did that.” “I know, it’s very disturbing.” “Why do you think he did?” “I’ve thought a lot about that. Either something happened with his family, or he wanted to protect his name after the accident, by leaving everything to you, regardless of what happened.” “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” she asks. “I’m not sure. But that’s fucking tainted money. We don’t need any of it!” She looks out the window; I’m not sure how she feels about my comment. But all I can think about is our child and how he was never given the chance at life on earth and our lives will never be the same without him. All because he couldn’t handle losing Abby who he treated like shit and wanted nothing to do with. I think he just lost it because he couldn’t have his way. Pulling up to our house, all is quiet…thank God there are no paparazzi waiting. “I’m gonna drop you two off and give you some time alone.”

“Thank you for everything,” I tell my grandma. “Of course. Call me later. Abby, I’m so happy you’re home. Get some rest…I’m sure you’re exhausted.” “Thank you, Maris,” she says and kisses her cheek before exiting the car. Then we hurry inside of the apartment. Once the door is closed behind us, I lock it and pull Abby into the tightest hug ever. Nuzzling her so hard it hurts. “Fuck, I missed you, baby. Please, don’t ever scare me like that again.” “I won’t. I missed you more,” she says clinging to me, and I look deep into her eyes. “Are we okay?” I ask, needing reassurance. “Yeah, we’re fine, Latch…always.” She wraps her arms around my neck and says, “I meant what I said. I think we both need to forget about the past. Even if it’s just for one day. I want to pretend none of it happened, don’t you?” I couldn’t agree with her more. Weaving my fingers into the back of her hair, I kiss her lips, pouring so much love and absolution into it that I end up swooping her off her feet and taking her to our bedroom. But before I can lay her down, she asks me, “Can I shower first? I feel disgusting.” “Only if I can join?” I raise my eyebrows and she nods her head, giving me that look, the one I fell in love with. And it takes me back to the beginning when things were so much simpler, and I let go of all the shit of the past, like she asked me to, and only focus on us…in this moment. Right here and right now. With her still in my arms, I carry her to the bathroom and start the shower, her lips on my neck, as she drenches it with tiny kisses. I can’t bear to set her down. Carrying her perfect body under the cold water, she laughs, flinging her head back. “What are you doing?” she yelps. “Showering!” I set her on her feet, pulling her wet t-shirt above her head and then unclip her bra, letting her perfect tits free, attacking what is rightfully mine. She moans, holding my mouth over her nipple, and I enjoy this second, quite possibly more than I ever have any other moment with her. Wet, standing in the shower completely dressed, but all bullshit aside. We are together, moving forward, and I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure it always stays that way. Putting every ounce of passion into my hands, I unbutton her pants and work my way inside, moving my fingers side to side over her clit. She reaches down to remove her jeans and then laughs. “What?” I ask pulling away from her tit, so engrossed that I don’t know what’s so funny. She points down at her pants that are barely over her ass and says, “They’re stuck.” I try and help her, tugging on the wet fabric. She’s right – they are stuck on her apple ass; laughing with her, she’s so cute in this moment, I blink a few times then ask, “Should I get the scissors?” She swats me and tries again to push them down. It’s fuckin’ funny to watch and I can’t help laughing. “Do something! Don’t just stand there and laugh at me!” Turning the water off, I kneel behind her and work them over her ass. Nipping each cheek every so often. She doesn’t give me any attention as she keeps moving the front, and inch by inch, we slowly get them off. Then I toss the soggy jeans out on the tile floor and look at mine. She unzips them and yanks my cock out. I’m hard as a rock, needing to just be inside her, pumping her pussy…it’s been too long. I hold her hair back as she strokes me, kissing the end of my shaft, and I urge her on, waiting for her to take me deep in her throat. The moment she does, my ass tightens, loving what she’s doing, the way she works my cock with her hand and mouth in sequence makes my dick throb. Her sexy lips are wide, and her nipples are so hard. Then she stops and I work my jeans all the way off, thankful they are baggy, as they don’t put up the fight hers did. Once we are both completely naked, I turn the water back on and she grabs the loofah to clean her body, but I take it from her. “Let

me do that, baby.” She watches my hand as I run it over her collarbone and the scar from the spot of her surgery. It pains me that this will always be a reminder of the accident. Making large circles, I clean her tits and stomach, gently, brushing it over the line of her C-section and the spot where our son was taken. This scar hurts the most and I drop to my knees, kissing the line gently as the water pelts my back. She knots her fingers into my hair and holds my head there for a moment, looking down at me with tears in my eyes, she says, “Don’t cry, baby. Just one day, without the past, is all I want.” Nodding in agreement, we both need it, and as much as it hurts to swallow away the tears, I do. Turning her around, I clean her legs and ass, drooling over her body, dying to be inside of her as I touch between her ass cheeks. Then I stand and swiftly do her back, dropping the loofah as soon as I’m done and sink two fingers into her. Her eyes widen and she drops her head back. Holding on to me, moaning, coaxing me on by moving her hips forward and back. The water rinses her body clean and then I turn it off, needing more than the hot water we have to take care of her. Wrapping her in a plush towel, she whispers, “Thank you.” And I walk her to the sink, where she grabs her toothbrush and begins to use it. The towel slips a little and I tear it all the way off her. Her sexy body drives me fucking wild, and I can’t help myself. Gripping both ass cheeks and spreading them wide, I salivate over her delectable cunt. Not able to wait another second, she gasps when I touch her with the tip of my shaft and slowly ease my way inside her, watching how she swallows up every inch of my cock, like my body was made for hers. Blending together to create the perfect masterpiece. Holding on to her hips, I start to move. She looks at me in the mirror, her wet hair dripping over one shoulder, as she finishes brushing her teeth. Not able to hold a stare, I am drawn to the point where our bodies are connected. Her thigh still has a tiny bit of yellow bruising that catches my eye, and I’m reminded of just how lucky I am that she is alive. “Fuck, baby,” she moans and grabs the sides of the sink, her pussy locking me down with a fierce grip, causing my whole body to tense. I haven’t come in what feels like forever and I know it will be the strongest ever. Fighting the urge, I think of anything except for what I am doing to her. Pushing away the need to let go, I just need to relish in my favorite pleasure. All I want to do is stay in this moment as long as I can, enjoying this time with her. Savoring her body and her noises. Our skin slaps together as I thrust in and out of her, filling the room, and she bucks underneath me pushing back at me, screaming, going to her happy place. Fuck, she is so gorgeous. And as I watch her come for as long as I can, she pulls me right along with her. My fingers dig into her ass, slamming her. I love watching her slip away lost in her orgasm. Weaving my other hand into her hair, holding her right where I need her. I give her full strokes. Gritting my teeth and tightening my ass, as I push as hard as I can, releasing for what feels like the longest in my life.

Nuzzled under the covers of our comfy bed with an array of Chinese takeout containers surrounding us, Latch and I are exhausted from a day’s worth of fucking. He swaps me his food and as soon as I dig into his cashew chicken, my palate comes to life. “Oh my God, this is delicious,” I tell him leaning my head further into the plush pillow. In the distance, my phone rings and Latch gets off the bed to grab it. “Leave it,” I tell him through a mouthful of food. “You sure?” “Yes, babe.” It’s already hard enough to silence the noise inside my head. But I’m forcing myself. I need this day. We’ve been through so much and haven’t had one single break, plus going forward, there’s still so much ahead. I’m going to stay in this moment and leave that all for another day. Right now, I’m silencing all the bullshit and only focusing on Latch and I. “Even though we’re not talking about the past, I wonder…” I glare at him and he puts his hands up, “Okay, it can wait.” Swapping food with him again, I know I’m being a bit ridiculous. If he wants to talk about something, I should let him. I want to know everything that he has to say. “I’m sorry, I just have this vision in my mind of this perfect day today, where all of our worries are gone and we avoid the past. But…” Tears gloss over my eyes. “Don’t cry, baby.” He cuddles me and I burrow into him. “What’s bothering you so bad?” “Everything, Latch! Don’t you get it? Everything.” He holds on to me and takes my food, setting it on the nightstand. I’m sure I’m freaking him out being so up and down. But right now, everything is so overwhelming. “Talk to me.” “Latch, we can never catch a break, and it’s driving me crazy.” “That’s not true. We caught a huge break today and now you’re home.” “You can say that, but I’m not right, I’m not myself. I mean, I spent last night in jail for assault which is totally out of my character.” “It’s not your fault. There are those people that make you crazy. You saw what Darrell did to me. I could’ve killed him and my biggest regret so far in life is that I didn’t.” He’s dead serious in his confession and I shake my head. “No, don’t say that, then you’d spend the rest of your life in jail.” “Maybe, but our son would be alive.” I cry, hating myself for not being able to give him another child, and I’m not quite sure how to be. “Shhhh. Everything is going to be okay, beautiful.” “How can you be sure? It doesn’t feel that way.” “Because.” He grasps my face. “Because we have each other.” Closing my eyes, I let the

exhaustion take over as Latch’s words echo deep within my soul… …The noise of an innocent baby, crying, needing its mother rings through the room. Looking around, I am alone. There isn’t a single thing in here, minus the steel bunk bed, like the one I slept on in jail. As I sit on it, the crying gets louder and I follow the noise. Stumbling down the long hallway, the lights above me flicker, and as the noise goes closer, I realize the baby is mine. It’s my son. A mother always recognizes the cry of her child. I reach for my necklace, but isn’t not there. “Latch!?” I scream, my heart slamming, knowing that this has all been a dream and our son is alive. Searching each room I pass, I can’t find him, and the further down the hall I get, the more bizarre they become. The crying gets louder and I run faster, but the hallway gets longer. “Latch!?” I yell again, hoping he can lead me to our son. I keep running, the hallway never ending. My feet burn, like I am stepping across broken glass, then sirens deafen me as I look in one room and I stop, staring at the scene of the accident. Darrell’s demented laugh haunts me and I cover my ears. Looking at a pool of blood where I landed after being ejected from the car, the wind swirls so hard it hurts my ears, and I look up to see a chopper taking off. But the baby’s cries pull me back to the present and I run towards it, praying that I’ll find him and Latch. Suddenly, I can see the end of the hallway and I place one foot in front of the next, pushing myself towards my family. At the end of the hallway is one last door, but it’s closed. Slowly I open it, afraid of what I’ll find and then the silhouette of a family casts a shadow on the wall and I stop. Not able to continue as the baby’s laughter fills the air. Peeking around the door, Jessy and Latch are both gawking at a tiny baby. Jessy is his mother. She’s singing to him in the most gorgeous voice, and Latch is holding on to both of them. Rage consumes me and I shoot inside, fighting for what is mine, for what she stole. But as I reach for the child, my arms go right through them. I’m dead…I’m a fucking ghost… Waking up from the world’s worst nightmare, I’m cold and clammy. Blinking a few times as I take in the room and attempt to settle my breathing down, Latch is next to me, peacefully sleeping. The clock on my nightstand says it’s 5:27am. Sitting up, I realize that I slept the entire end of the day away. Our perfect and stress-free day is gone and I wasted it sleeping! Watching Latch’s beautiful lips, slightly parted as he breathes small breaths, I worry so much about him. He’s been through hell and back and just forges forward like everything is normal and we’re going to be okay, and I worry sometimes that maybe he doesn’t even believe his own words. Kissing him gently, he doesn’t move a muscle. Getting up, I head into the kitchen and fill myself up a glass of water, and as I stare out at the calm street, my phone chimes. I grab it to see a slew of missed calls. What the hell? Going into my voicemail, I listen to the first call regarding a hospital bill. I ignore it, knowing there is nothing I can do right now. But then the next call is the same, and the next, and next. Finally disgusted, I hang the phone up. This is all Darrell’s fault. He did this to me and Latch and our baby. He killed my one and only child. The reality of never having a second chance hurts like hell. The pain is unspeakable, worse than if my heart was ripped from my chest. It’s the same pain I felt when I lost my parents, alone, scared, and I just want it to stop. I want to ease the agony, but how? Sitting at the kitchen table, the pile of bills stares back at me, mocking me. They are just another

roadblock, stopping Latch and I from moving on and being happy, like the tons of other obstacles that have been thrown our way. Contemplating how to overcome everything, and to protect us…forever. I get an idea. One that Latch definitely won’t like, and I’m not sure I like it myself. Grabbing my iPad, I open my email and scroll through for anything from George. There is nothing, which doesn’t make sense. Why? He said he’d send it. I contemplate Googling “What is Darrell McEllrath’s Net Worth.” But instead search through my junk folder, needing answers, and a little over halfway down the page are two emails from George. My finger hovers over them, and before I proceed, I think about the repercussions of opening them. Granted, I should be discussing this with Latch. I promised him I would before I did anything. But the weight of everything is so great. The bills and the fear I have that one day Latch will go back to work. I look up and see him still sound asleep, so I decide informing myself isn’t going to hurt anything – it’s to protect us. Opening the first email, it reads, To: Abby McEllrath From: George Herron Here are the estate documents we discussed. Please review and let me know when you are ready to meet. I open the second email from George and it says. To: Abby McEllrath From: George Herron Attached is the 1st amendment, sorry I forgot it. Please let me know once you review. At the bottom are two small squares titled: The Estate of Darrell McEllrath and First Amendment To The Estate of Darrell McEllrath. Without even opening the documents, I feel sick to my stomach. How did I end up here? In this place. In charge of the wishes of a man who murdered my child and tried to kill me and Latch. Latch’s phone vibrates and I pick it up off the table, thinking it’s probably Maris. But reading Jessy’s words at five in the morning leaves me astounded. What do you think of the name Jessabelle for a girl or Latch for a boy? I drop his phone. It crashes against the glass of the coffee table and I’m sure I woke him. Tears pool out of my eyes. “Latch” was what we were gonna name our son. That is the name of my little boy. This girl is trying to steal my life! I keep strong, believing in the love that Latch and I share. She can try to steal him, but she’s got to get through me first. Wallowing in the pain of all this isn’t going to help me right now. Pushing it aside, I let go of any emotions and open the document from George. Scanning page after page, not much is highlighted in the original estate. But opening the amendment, clear as day, the first item lists me as the sole beneficiary of all cash and assets, including executorship of Darrell’s entire estate. Then it lists in detail all the cash and assets totaling the astronomical amount of $200,113,194.86. Taking in a deep breath of air, I contemplate what to do. After all he did to me and all the years of abuse, he’s laying everything on me, when all I have inside of me is hate. Sitting back, I look at the total number again, to be sure I read it right. I’m not sure if I’m more shocked that he left everything to me, or how much money he was worth. How did I not have a clue that’s how much money he had? Granted we never discussed his contracts or anything, I still

should’ve known, shouldn’t I? Maybe Darrell did this to cause problems, knowing it would put a rift between Latch and I. The document was amended just days before his death, so it was after I left him. He knew there was no hope of reconciling, but with his plan and how fucking smart he was, no matter how sick and demented, there’s more to this than meets the eye, and I’m ready to discuss things with George. I need to find out.

Waking up after the first fucking solid night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time, I reach next to me for Abby, but she isn’t in bed. I roll over and take in the room. Getting up, I shout, “Baby?” And look around the room. She doesn’t respond and I pull on a pair of shorts as I go in search of her. Checking each room, she is not here. Quickly panicking, I dart to my phone and call her. It’s not like Abby to just disappear and after losing her the other day, I quickly jump to the worst conclusions. Then when her phone rings, charging on the kitchen counter top next to her iPad, I worry wondering why she would’ve left the house without it. I remind myself to stay calm knowing I panic easily when it comes to Abby. I’m sure she’s okay, she just went out for a walk or coffee or something. Sending a text to my grandma I ask her. Have you seen Abby? No, dear, everything okay? I unlock her iPad to see if maybe it can answer anything about where she went and when the screen comes to life I find what appears to be Darrell’s estate document. Immediately it pisses me off that she went behind my back and wasted her time looking anything up about him, especially when she promised me she wouldn’t. Goddammit. Why would she wake up and do this? However, my worries all wash away as she walks through the front door, with breakfast in hand. “Morning, baby,” she says in a chipper tone. “How’d you sleep?” “Where were you, baby?” I ask, ignoring her question. She blinks a few times and then says, “I grabbed us food. Didn’t you see the note I left you on your nightstand?” I shake my head, ashamed that I panicked and got so worried. “Well, I left you a note. Did you not see it? Is everything okay?” she asks me and I give her a kiss on the forehead squeezing her ass while I take a moment to reel myself back into reality and calm down. “I’m good; sorry I panicked.” “It’s okay. Would you take this?” she hands me the to-go bag and I take it from her. Still trying to let my worries go. “Where do you wanna eat?” she asks me. “Out back?” I offer and she agrees, so I carry the food outside. She opens the boxes, the smell invades my scenes, and I drool looking at what she got. “You went all the way to Noon’s Cafe?” I ask her, knowing it is upstate. “Yeah, I was up early and knew you’d love it.” “Wow. What’s the occasion?”

“There’s no occasion, silly. I just wanted to get you your favorite breakfast.” “Thank you, baby, but you should’ve taken your phone going that far.” I dig in and can’t help but look at her and wonder if she’s going to tell me about the estate document. “So what do you think if we take a trip up to Connecticut and start house hunting?” I’m not sure how to respond. The question takes me by surprise. Yesterday, she didn’t want to talk about anything. Then today she’s looking at Darrell’s estate documents, going upstate for breakfast, and wants to talk about looking at houses. “Do you still want to move there?” I ask. “Of course, don’t you?” “I want to do anything that makes you happy, baby.” “Then I want to look.” I agree, but in the back of my mind, I can’t help thinking about the obligation I have to Jessy. After all, she is carrying my child and moving there would put a snag in things. Abby said herself that she is the one that wants me to be a part of its life. Deciding to put it out there, I make myself ask, “If we move to Connecticut, what about Jessy?” “What about her? It’s just a drive away. I’m not going to let her or anyone disrupt our future ever again.” “That’s not what I meant. No one will do what Darrell did to us, baby. It was you that told me the other day you wanted me to be a part of the baby’s life when I was willing to run. So now, I can’t help wondering why this sudden change of heart.” I’m assuming it’s this whole estate thing and that she wants to take the money, pay Jessy off, and sail into the sunset…but is that the right thing to do? Is that how she would have handled things, prior to the accident? “Slow down! It’s just us looking. I’m not saying we buy anything yet. We talked about moving there based on Jeremy’s house. I wanna see what else we can afford.” My phone rings, interrupting our conversation, and both Abby and I glance at the screen. It’s my grandma. “Are you gonna get that?” Abby asks me, knowing I always answer her calls. “Hey,” I answer. “Did you find Abby?” “Yes, she was out getting breakfast for us.” You called her? Abby mouths to me. I shrug my shoulders, a tad embarrassed. “Oh, good! Well, I won’t keep you then, but I wanted to see what you thought about dinner at my place tomorrow with your dad, since Abby never got to meet him. I figured this would give us all time to catch up. He’s really trying.” “Okay, yeah, that sounds good,” I respond, wanting to just make her happy. “Great, I love you.” “Love you too,” I tell her and hang up and Abby says, “I can’t believe you called her.” “What? I was worried, baby.” “About what?” “The fact that I woke up and you were gone, your phone was here, and you’d been—” I cut myself off, wanting to give her the chance to come clean, as I have my own secrets myself and in time want to tell her. “I’ve been what?” she asks. “You’ve been stressed.” “That’s life, Latch, you know that. You’ve got to have a little faith in us. I left you a note, babe.” “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t see it,” I respond, knowing I am being ridiculous, but the truth is, she means too much to me to not worry about. “Come here,” I tell her and pat my lap, and she sits on top

of it. “You know how much you mean to me, right?” “You mean just as much to me.” “Good,” I respond and lean down, kissing her lips. Molding mine over hers, controlling her, possessing her. She moans against my mouth, kissing me back. Her fingers knot into my hair as we get lost in one another, and I glide my hand underneath her t-shirt and bra. She arches in my hold, awakening the fire I have for her inside me. I twist her nipple, pulling up hard. My cock hardens and she wiggles her ass against it. Needing more of her, I carry her inside and pin her against the first surface I see. With my body holding hers against the wall, she looks at me panting. “Do you want me?” I ask her harshly, digging my cock into her. “Fuck yes.” Her response is quick, but I need more from her as my mind spirals back to all the times we used to play. “Then tell me how.” God, I miss the times like this, when my body was on pins and needles, my blood pulsating through my veins, all of it raging at the head of my cock. “I want you inside of me, skin to skin, ’til I come.” Reaching into the front of her pants, my hand is crushed against her sex and the wall. “What if I want more? What if I want you to come again and again?” Her tone is laced with a smile from my question when she replies. “Well, I’m yours, so you can do with me what you want.” I tear her shirt over her head – I can’t get her naked fast enough, shredding her clothes off, stretching her shirt as I pull it over her gorgeous fucking body. She reaches back for my cock and my body trembles when she grabs it. Her touch alone can be my undoing. Closing my eyes, I get a bit lost in the way she’s jerking me. I try to concentrate on what I’m doing. But she distracts me, pleasing my cock like only she can. Slyly, she turns in my hold, yanking my shorts down, and I growl watching the way she licks her lips, stark naked, wanting me. Then all of a sudden, she is on her knees in front of me, swallowing me up. I brace my weight on the wall, losing the battle of control when I look down and she’s almost taking me all the way in her mouth and gently rubs my balls. Her eyes are wild, matching her movements, and with every ounce of strength I have, I reach down and stop her. “Your mouth is fucking amazing, but not yet!” She stands to her feet and I slam her back against the wall. She grips my dick, pulling it towards her, and I push my way inside her. Every inch has her eyes closing a little more, and I can tell she’s enjoying this as much as I am. It’s a place where only Abby and I go to drown out the noise. She wraps her legs around me and I lift her up, holding her as we work together. Fire blazes from my head to my toes as we fuck. Her eyes are tightly shut and I get lost, sucking on her neck. Loving the taste and feel of her skin on my tongue. “Harder,” she begs me for more of my cock. Sitting her on one of the bar stools I say, “Hang on to my neck.” She listens and I hold on to her and the countertop pounding her. “Fuck,” she screams causing my balls to tighten and my insides to burst into flames. I’m so close to letting out a good cum, but don’t want it to end. I used to be able to fuck for hours, but not anymore, not with Abby – she’s my conclusion. She drives my body crazy and when we are together like this my control is stripped away. Stopping my movements, I hold my breath and everything tenses as the room spins. And in the middle of it, Abby and I are still, our bodies so close to the edge, but we know what’s waiting if we fall. Brushing the hair out of her eyes, she commands me, “Keep fucking me, take me with you.” Pulling my cock back a half a tick is all it takes and the second that I push forward, a burst of cum

floods inside her as I pump her with my full length. I hold her to me tighter than ever as I milk out every last drop while she shakes in my grasp, screaming and possessing her own release just as much as I am. Being this close and this connected in this moment with her is my absolution. And no matter what happens in the future, we’ll be okay, we’ll make it through it all. That’s how strong this love is. And one day…we’ll have our happy ending…one day.

“It’s so good to see you, son,” Latch’s dad says, giving him a big hug. I smile waiting to greet him, noticing the distinct resemblance between the two. I don’t care what Latch says, they look alike. They have the same eyes, clear as day. “Abby,” he says and embraces me. “It is so great to finally meet you and to see you up and awake. You look beautiful.” “Thank you, Lance,” I tell him, hugging him back, getting a whiff of leather. “Should we eat?” Maris asks. “Absolutely.” “How long are you in town for, Dad?” Latch asks him. “Just tonight.” “Oh.” He seems surprised. We all take our seats at the table and Latch rests his hand on my thigh, giving me a small squeeze. As usual, Maris made a feast. “I hope you all brought your appetites,” she says. We chuckle and she urges, “Well, don’t be shy, dig in.” We begin plating our food and Lance asks me, “How have you been feeling?” “Good. Better than I thought I would, to be honest.” “That’s great. Now tell me where you two met.” “The grocery store,” I respond and smile looking over at Latch. He’s staring at me, so engrossed in me and not in the conversation. Sometimes I feel like he’s still processing the moments. Taking it all in. Which I guess I would do that too, had I seen him the way he saw me and gone through what he did. For me…it’s all black. A blur of nothingness. “Love you,” he whispers, leaning over and kissing me on my cheek. “Love you, too.” “You know, I met your mom at the grocery store, Latch.” He shakes his head taking a drink of his water. “I had no idea.” “Yeah, it was love at first sight. That woman changed my world.” I can still see the pain in his eyes as he speaks about her, and I can’t even imagine what he’s gone through. I mean, the anger I hold inside of me towards Darrell doesn’t even allow me to feel a shred of remorse. Thinking of losing Latch is unfathomable, my world would end. “Maris, where did you meet Latch’s grandfather?” “I was a nurse in the army when I was young and patched him up. He had these eyes, they made me lose my breath, and from the second we met, I knew there was no one else for me.” “Have you dated since he passed?” I ask, knowing he died over a decade ago. “Nope, I’ve got my boys and was still working until just a few years ago, and now, dear…I have

you.” I hold back my tears, a smile etched on my face, completely taken aback by her words. “Thank you, that is very sweet of you.” “It’s the truth, dear.” As we finish our meal, the conversation flows, and I don’t care what Latch has said about his father – he seems like a really good man, inside and out. Clearly he cares a great deal for both Latch and Maris. He might not have the most honest profession, but until very recently, neither did Latch, and it never stopped me from seeing the good in him. My phone rings during dessert, and I excuse myself to silence it. “Sorry,” I tell the table as I step away. But once I see who’s calling, I have to take the call. I’ve got to make sure everything is settled. “I’ll be right back,” I tell them, answering my phone and walking off to the restroom. Maris waves at me, like it’s no big deal, but Latch gives me that look, the one he’s had since I snuck out yesterday morning and met with George. “Hello?” I answer quietly. “Hello, Abby,” George says in his usual professional tone. “Hey, everything go through? “Yup, I just need one more document signed to get the condo in your name. Could you stop by the office?” “Not tonight.” “In the morning?” “Yeah, that should work.” “Great! Also, I’ve notified Darrell’s family, and they aren’t happy about things, but…this is what Darrell wanted, and I stressed that to them.” “Thank you. So once we get this document back, everything will be done?” “Well, in essence, it’s already done. The account is open and you have sole access to it, like we discussed, so take what you need to cover your medical bills.” Hearing him say I can take what I need lifts a huge weight of stress off my shoulders. Finally, I don’t have to worry about what Latch and I are going to do for money. Now I have the control. “Thank you, George. I’ll be by first thing tomorrow.” “It’s my pleasure. I’ll be in touch regarding the investments and some of the other final details.” Hanging up the phone, I look in the mirror at my reflection and take a deep breath. “Abby, you okay?” Latch knocks on the door startling me. I jump and respond, “Yeah,” then open the door. He’s leaning on the outside frame, looking so fucking sexy. “Who were you talking to?” With my phone in my hand, I swallow hard, not wanting to lie, but now is not the time to tell him what I’ve done. I need him to understand why I did it, and here at dinner with his family is not the place to talk about it. “It was just my friend, Sasha, checking to see how I was feeling.” “And you had to answer it while we were eating?” “She’s hard to get a hold of, babe.” Standing on my tippy toes, I kiss his cheek. He wraps an arm behind me and looks far into my eyes, and my heart shatters lying to him, filling me with anxiety. But I’m going to come clean. Walking back to the table, I say, “Sorry about that.” I shake my phone in front of me and then set it on the table. “It’s okay, dear. We were just talking about how when Latch was a baby, he refused to wear clothes,” Maris says. “His mom used to duct tape his diaper around him,” his dad adds. “Do you remember that?”

“No, thank God! It sounds like child abuse.” “It was either that or you’d piss all over the house.” I can’t help but laugh at Latch, and he looks down at me and says, “Don’t you side with them. It was wrong. I’ll never do that to my kid.” When he says, “my kid” a wave of sickness fills my body, because I’ll never be able to give him another child. Yeah, we can adopt, and now have all the money we need to explore that, but it’s not the same, and having been adopted, I know that all too well. Our baby was a miracle and our only chance at creating life together. Now he already has a baby coming with Jessy, and I worry that the bond between them will grow stronger over time. After all, I’ve thought it before and still wonder sometimes, did he just settle down with me because I was pregnant? Taking a sip of water, Maris and Lance don’t seem to notice how his comment affects me. But Latch does and whispers in my ear, “I didn’t mean to say that.” Fighting back the tears as I blink them away and stare at my plate, I respond, “But you said it.”

After saying goodbye to my dad and grandma, Abby and I hail a cab, and as we drive home, the vibe seems off. It has been ever since I opened my fuckin’ mouth at dinner. She seems distant and I don’t like it. Rubbing my hand up and down her thigh, she looks at me and rests her head on my shoulder. My phone rings and I wonder if we left something at my grandma’s, pulling it out. I’m pissed when I see Jessy’s name on the screen. Fucking bitch has been blowing me up lately with all sorts of nonsense. You’d think she was due any day with how often she’s been calling me. “You gonna answer it?” Abby asks me. “No,” I respond and hit the ignore button. “What do you think she wants?” “I don’t know and I don’t care.” I hold her leg tighter and say, “All I care about is you. I’m sorry for what I said earlier. It really came out wrong.” “I know,” she says still laying her head on my shoulder. “Baby, even though you think you can never have kids, it happened once…it can happen again, can’t it?” “No, it can’t, not with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Women like me don’t produce eggs. We’re lucky if our bodies ever make a single mature one.” She fiddles with her necklace and it kills me to hear her say those words. “I’m sorry I never told you, but I was so elated when we got pregnant and I didn’t want to jinx anything…” she trails off watching the buildings pass by. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.” “It does, baby.” “No, it doesn’t.” “I didn’t even tell Dr. Rosland.” “Well, maybe we do now? We could see him and discuss our options.” “We’re out of options, Latch, don’t you see that?” It hurts to hear her say the words. I can only imagine how she feels, and no matter how much she pushes me back on this, I won’t drop it. Arriving at our house, there is a swarm of paparazzi waiting outside. Which is not completely out of the normal, but at this time of night, it just seems strange. “What’s going on?” Abby asks me. I shake my head and ask her, “Ready?” extending my hand to her. She wraps her fingers around mine and I open the door, getting out with her in tow. The flashes of the cameras are blinding and the normal chants of, “Abby, Abby!” as they try to get her to stop are relentless, but we ignore it all, not stalling as we make a dash up the stairs. But they are close behind and one of them yells, “Abby, how does it feel to inherit all of Darrell’s money?” She tenses, squeezing my hand, and I am stunned by the accusation, looking at her for clarification, not wanting to believe what I’ve heard. I freeze, standing with the keys to our home in my hand. She takes them from me and opens the door as another paparazzo asks, shoving a camera in

our face, “It is true that you got over two hundred million dollars?” Abby drags me inside and slams the door. I stand there with the wind knocked from my lungs. How can she deceive me like this? “I can explain.” “Please tell me they’re lying.” She doesn’t respond and I grip my hair, deceived by the person I trust the most. “No!” I shout. “It’s complicated.” “Why would you do this without talking to me first?” “I tried,” she says and touches my arm. Looking down at her fingers on my skin, I am appalled by her betrayal. Pulling my arm away, I storm off to the bedroom and she follows. Before she can speak, I yell at her, “That motherfucker killed our baby and almost killed you.” “And I’ll never forgive him for that.” “Then why take his money or do anything that honors his wishes?” “I’ve thought a lot about it and it was hard for me to make the decision, but really, we didn’t have another option. He left everything to me.” “Then you could give it all to charity!” “And how would we survive then?” Abby asks me, knowing that my money won’t last forever. “We’d make it together, with our love and trust. Even if we had to live in a fucking cardboard box!” “Latch, I don’t think you realize what I went through. Being married to Darrell was a nightmare. I was a prisoner for years, tortured day in and day out.” “So that’s what this is about? Vengeance?” “No, but at the end of the day, we deserve that money!” “Fuck the money, Abby, I’ll burn that shit!” And I’m dead serious in telling her. “What’s done is done. You can fight it, or you can try to understand why I did it.” “I don’t even know who you are anymore, Abby. You lied to me.” “Like you’ve never lied to me.” I look at her speechless, my back up against the wall. Fuck…she knows! “I know what you did after the accident. Maris told me how she found you and it breaks my heart every fucking day that you still haven’t told me.” Why would my grandma do that? It wasn’t her place! “I can’t sleep, all I do is worry, and that’s part of the reason why I took this money. I want us to have security for our future, to be together every day, and do whatever we want. So if you wanna talk about lying, we’re in the same goddamn boat!” “You knew?” I whisper, looking at her as she sits next to me. She nods and asks me, “Why wouldn’t you have told me? Why did I have to pry it out of your grandmother? She wanted you to tell me in your own way, but we’ve both been so worried about you. I had every right to know, if for nothing else than to be there for you.” “I wanted to tell you, really I did, but I was so ashamed of myself for almost giving up and leaving you. I couldn’t put that stress on you, or fear into you, especially when you were so fragile. You didn’t need anything more added to your plate. Losing the baby was enough.” “Latch…I…” She’s breathless, unable to finish her sentence. “I appreciate you trying to protect me, I guess at the end of the day we were both doing the same thing. But you’ve got to always tell me

everything, no matter how dark things get.” “And so do you, baby! You can’t make decisions that change our future without talking to me first.” I realize how horrible those words sound in comparison to what I almost did when I held a gun to my head. “I will, I promise from this point forward.” “Thank you, baby. You have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you, but the thought of breaking your heart, or you being disappointed in me, was something I couldn’t handle.” “Have a little faith in me sometimes.” “I will. I’ll never doubt what you can take. You’re so strong.” I place her hand over my heart. It slams against the walls of my chest as I speak. “I want you to know that, no matter what, how dark or scary the future could be, I’ll never hurt myself.” She scoots on top of my lap, staring into my eyes, and says, “I can’t lose you, Latch.” “You won’t, baby.” “Thank you for saying those words. I needed to hear them and to believe them.” I kiss her tenderly, my hands forming around her sides, and she still holds her hand over my heart. Which she stole from me a long time ago. Her wet cheeks pressed against mine hurt me, but what pains me even worse is that I’m the cause of her tears. Pulling away, there is a sparkle in her eye and she smiles saying, “I mean, how realistic is it to donate over two hundred million dollars?” trying to lighten the mood. “It’s really easy. Especially when it’s his money.” “Don’t look at it as his money. It’s our money and we have our whole lives ahead of us. Plus, with everything we’ve been through, we deserve this.” “Why didn’t you tell me? “I knew you would put a stop to it, and I sat back envisioning what our future looked like. And it scared me. Neither of us have any skills to get a job. So what? I’d be a waitress and you’d go back to being an escort? I couldn’t see after how hard we’ve worked, things would end that way for us. This will make our lives so much easier. We can pay off all of the hospital bills, move anywhere we want, and take care of Jessy and the baby.” Hearing her words, I don’t know how I got so fortunate with this woman…but I did. I might not have been on board with the plan, and still am not completely sold, but she is so amazing, and I need to put trust in her and her decisions. “You know I’d never go back to being an escort. You’re my light, my salvation, and my sanity. I wouldn’t. No…I couldn’t do that to us.” “So what would you do?” “Well…I don’t have to worry about that because of what you did. Thank you for seeing things in a different light, when sometimes I can’t. I truly am the luckiest guy in the world.” “I feel just the same, Latch,” she says, connecting our lips and threading her fingers into my hair. As we are in this moment, a wave of relief rushes over me. As much as I was against it, taking the money was the right thing to do.

Latch prods my neck, waking me up with kisses as he whispers, “I wanna fuck you.” “It’s late,” I whine and pull the covers further up and around my chin. “Come on,” he murmurs through a kiss and nudges his dick against my ass. I moan, pushing my butt towards him, and he says, “Yeah, you want to get fucked, don’t you?” When do I not want him? “Mmmhhh.” He keeps rocking his hips and I move with him. The tip of his wet shaft has me ready to come from the sheer thought of imagining him inside me. Reaching back, I grip it hard then scoot down, under the covers. My hair is messy, and everything is hot, but I need him. Swirling my tongue around him, I take him deep into the back of my throat. Slowly, I suck him, loving his taste, and then he lifts the covers and the fresh air whips around me. For the first time since I woke up, I open my eyes, glancing up at him through tired lids. He’s so sexy and sleepy too, and I wonder why he’s awake. I could sleep the night away right now. Yesterday was so stressful; I don’t think either of us has fully recovered yet. But I smile around his cock and keep pleasing him, getting lost so easily. Tiny noises roll out of me and Latch reaches for my pussy. Then pulls my body on top of him, so I am straddling his face as I am still sucking him. I enjoy the combined pleasure of what I am doing to him and his lips as they mold around my clit. His hands on my body and the simple touch from his lips alone, rock me to the core. Being with him like this is my heaven, my paradise. And as he pleases my body, I lose the grip that I have on him. Under the covers it’s becoming so hot that I can barely breathe. Sitting up, I rip them off me and grind my pussy against him. Quickly causing me to fall from this world, stumbling into a remarkable bliss. “Fuck!” I scream, enjoying every second of the pleasure he gives me. And once my body settles, I grab him and stroke his amazing cock, sucking again, so I can pull his release out of him, but he stops me and says, “Fuck me.” Turning towards him, I engulf his shaft. Loving the moment he is nestled high inside me. His hands dig into the skin of my thighs, his eyes are fixated on mine, and our bodies move together, rocking and thrusting in and out, in and out. My body quivers as he rubs my g-spot, and it feels so unbelievably good. But that’s what Latch does and always has done to me. He gives me the greatest pleasure. Pressing my hands against his stomach, I rock my hips, enjoying him and our love. I’m grateful in this moment that I have him. Yeah, we might not have the perfect life and have had to deal with a whole lot of detours and obstacles along the way in such a short amount of time, but right now is enough to satisfy me. My release creeps up on me and upon opening my eyes and looking at him, he’s so lost in the bliss, grunting and moaning, and I let go…again, sliding into the chasm of ecstasy. Latch does the same, and as he comes, I lean down, kissing him, pushing him

farther into his favorite place. As we settle and come back to reality, his phone rings. He glances at it then grumbles, “Fuck!” “What?” I ask. “Jessy’s appointment is in the morning and she’s been blowing me up all night.” “It’s fucking late, Latch, you gotta put a stop to that bitch’s shit!” I complain, hating that she is calling him so much. “Can’t you just cancel on her and we could stay in bed all day tomorrow?” “I wish,” he says kissing me and squeezing my ass in his large hands. “You should come with,” he suggests. “No, no way! It was awkward enough seeing her the other day. I don’t need to go through that again.” “You sure? I really want you there.” Cupping his cheek with my hand, I plant a kiss on his lips and respond, “I’m sure you do, but this is something you’ve got to handle on your own.” “Fine,” he grumbles and kisses me long and tenderly, our lips lingering. Then he kisses my necklace too. The simple gesture sends a tinge of remorse rocking though my soul. Resting my head on him, he holds me. The sound of his heart soothes me and I fight back the tears, so thankful that he’s mine. Maybe I should go, just to make sure that the tramp keeps her claws out of him. “Can I ask you something?” “Anything,” he responds, tickling my neck. “You are going to get a paternity test, right?” “Absolutely! I’m gonna ask the doctor if it can be done before the baby is born. I don’t trust her, baby.” “You and me both.” “I’m really sorry we’re in this situation.” “Me too.” “Please, come with me?” he tries again and I shake my head. Forgive me for not wanting to see another woman’s baby thriving when mine is in heaven. “You hungry?” Latch asks me checking the clock, seeming to accept my reluctance. “I could eat.” “Let’s go get something. It’s late so you know the paparazzi aren’t out looking for us. They’re stalking clubs and shit, I’m sure.” “Like literal shit?” I ask and he tickles me. I squirm and his cock falls out of me. I hate the feeling of him not being inside me. But the thought of sneaking out late does sound fun. “I’ll go out if you take me to get a Philly.” “There’s my girl!” Latch kisses me and his phone rings again. He hops up and presses the ignore button on it and then leaves the room naked. Fucking twat Jessy, and this is just the beginning! I get my ass out of bed and throw on a change of clothes and then brush my teeth. Latch comes into the bathroom with a huge grin on his face and I shake my head at him. “What?” “Nothing, I’m just admiring how gorgeous you are.” My insides ignite. I love the way Latch has that control over me. I finish brushing my teeth and he says, “Grab a coat.” “Why? Is it that cold?” “It might be where we’re going.” “No, that Philly shop is small as hell and always crammed with people, you know that.”

“Well, maybe I have another surprise planned for you.” “For me?” “Yup, so bring a coat.” I contemplate what in the world he could have in mind and I’m stumped. “What does it involve?” I ask putting my shoes on. “I’m not telling, but you better wear some comfortable shoes too.” I roll my eyes and switch to a pair of tennis shoes. “Ready?” he asks. “I guess.” “You look gorgeous,” Latch says, and the one simple comment ignites my spirit. He pulls his hat down low and wraps his hand tightly around mine as we jog across the street and head into the subway tunnel. “You okay if we eat afterwards?” “Sure, but why are we taking the subway?” I ask as he buys us two tickets to Manhattan. We never ride the train. “If we took a cab, I’d have to tell the driver where we’re headed. This way, it keeps the element of surprise there. Plus, it’s slow this late at night, another perk of sneaking out late.” I don’t complain. I like the subway and he’s right, I never get to ride it, so this is a nice change, although I would like to know where we are going. The suspense is driving me crazy. We scan our tickets and cross the barrier, hopping right onto the 3 train. Our car is empty, just like he thought it would be. As the doors close and it pulls away, I lean against Latch’s chest, swaying with the motion. “Can I have a little hint?” I ask, still not having a clue where we are going. He points to a map on the wall at all of the stops and says, “It’s one of those stops.” I look up, barely able to read what he’s pointing at and figure I might as well just give up. “You’re such an ass!” Once the train arrives, we hop out and walk up the street. Once we are back on the ground level, it’s a whole different world in Manhattan compared to where we live. I look around at the stores and buildings, all still open, and try to spot where we are headed. Suddenly, he responds, “We’re here.” “Where?” I ask. He points to the Empire State Building and I crane my neck to look up its gigantic height. “You ever been?” he asks me. “No, you?” “Once.” He doesn’t say who he came with and I begin to fear it was a client. He grabs my hand and we cross the street. “I came with Maris when I was young. You’ll like it.” Walking inside, I ask Latch, “Are they still open?” realizing how late it really is. “If you have reservations, they are.” He winks at me as we approach a hotel-style reception desk. “Good evening, how can I help you?” the woman asks us. “We have reservations tonight, last name is Teracino.” She types into her computer and then says, “One private lantern release.” “Yes, ma’am,” Latch responds and my heart skips a beat, giving me a stomach full of butterflies. I squeeze his hand and he looks at me with a gleam in his eye. “Sign right here, please. Then take this card to that gentleman.” She points across the lobby. “And he’ll get you to the top.” We pass through a security check and then head towards the elevator. I know why Latch is doing this. We talked about doing something for the baby since we never had a funeral. “Is this okay?” he asks me and I nod, swallowing back the tears, trying to stay strong. This is more than okay. “Good evening,” an older gentleman says and Latch hands him the card. He walks into the

elevator with us and inserts the card, then presses a button and says, “Have fun!” before stepping out. As we ride up the many, many stories, Latch pulls my eyes towards his, holding my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I hope you’re not disappointed, thinking it was something else.” “Latch!” I exclaim, searching for the right words. I don’t think he realizes how much this means to me. “This is the best gift you could give me and our son. We all need this. It’s an amazing way to remember him.” “I’m glad you feel the same as me.” “Of course I do, I always do.” He kisses me and finally the doors open. Another man enters and removes the card. “Good evening, how are you both doing?” “We’re okay,” Latch tells him. “Good, follow me.” We walk behind him. The inside of the building is all marble and granite and he comes to another elevator. “Almost there!” Then he sends us on our way up again. When the doors open, you can see everything through a wall of windows, and I gasp. Latch says, “This isn’t the top yet!” “How did you do this?” I ask Latch wondering how he coordinated everything. “I just called and they were great in setting it all up.” Getting into the old rickety elevator, I suddenly become nervous. I’m surprised it is still in service. There is an attendant that rides inside of it with us and as I fidget with my necklace, he asks, “You afraid of heights?” “No,” I shake my head, not realizing that I fidget with my necklace as much as I do. Latch never touches his, but I always seem to have my hands on mine. Watching the floors tick by on the vintage dumbwaiter, it finally stops at 102 and the small door opens. As we step outside, the view is breathtaking, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Walking to the edge of the fence, I look through it. You can see all of New York and then some. The lights of the buildings sparkle under the night sky. There really isn’t anything more beautiful. Latch wraps me in his arms, his chin resting atop my hair as we take in this amazing view. “This is perfect,” I tell him. “It is, huh?” I nod, my insides breaking as I realize what we have to do. Giving over to the pain, I need to let it all out. Tears stream down my cheeks as I recall the events that all led up to us losing our baby. Before that fateful night, we were so happy. I’d let go of the hold Darrell had over me and I was focusing on the future and the gift God gave us. But Darrell had other plans and the consequences of those plans hurt so much. Reliving everything we’ve endured, Latch sniffles too, and I turn in his hold, knowing he’ll give me the strength that I need. But then I notice a worker standing behind us with a lantern and the sight rocks me. That lantern represents our son. Latch looks behind him at what has upset me and cups my face saying, “We don’t have to do this, Abby.” I fall to the ground, crying like a baby, and he slips down with me, sitting and coddling me as we let the agony out, every bit of remorse seeps out as I grip on to Latch, moaning into his coat. A cold breeze whips through me and I contemplate his words, maybe we shouldn’t, maybe we should just keep going on the way we have been. Making it through every day. In that moment, I think about the right thing to do, not the easy thing. Our son deserves this. He deserves to be remembered and then set free. Walking away from Latch, the answers that I’ve been looking for are all right here. As much as it kills me to do this, releasing this lantern will set us all

free and release the burden of guilt that I hold deep inside my soul. Standing next to him, I tell Latch, “We have to, baby.” With his arm wrapped around me and fingers dug into my skin, I find the strength that I need in his eyes. And for a brief second, I imagine the lantern is our son. Right now, I’d give anything to have him here with us. Closing my eyes, I breathe in the sweet air through my nose, feeling a connection so strong. “I don’t think I can let him go,” I tell Latch. “You can, we can, he needs to be free.” I sob a little more, afraid of how I’ll feel once we release him. Going back, I think of when I found out I was pregnant and how nervous I was. Then when Latch came running after me and forced himself into the cab grabbing my stomach and crying, it made me feel like everything was going to be okay, when it hadn’t been for a long time. Tears burn my eyes, going back to that day, and right now, as empty and scared as I am inside, as long as I have Latch, I’ll be okay. And I pray to God to always keep Latch with me. Latch takes the lantern out of my hold and automatically I give it over to him. Just like anything he ever wants from me, it’s his. “Abby, when you told me you were pregnant, it was the best news I’d ever heard. I didn’t question becoming a parent with you for one second, the way I always had questioned things in my life before. For sixteen brief weeks, we got to enjoy the thought and excitement of how it’d be to be parents. And in one devastating moment, that ended, so unfairly, and our son was stolen from this earth way before his time. However, he was still a blessing and always will be. We must always remember what happened to him was neither of our faults. As fucked up as things are sometimes, baby,” tears crown his eyes as he holds me snugly, “everything in this God forsaken world happens for a reason. Standing here with you now, I can truly say no mater what God throws at us, we’ll be okay. Because we have an amazing angel watching over us.” Reaching down, Latch takes my hand that is clutched around my necklace and places it next to his on the lantern. “Let’s let our little boy go.” Slowly, I nod, my insides crushing at the thought, but my hand opens on its own, following Latch’s, and ever so gingerly, our boy floats away, glimmering in the night sky, high above New York. I am frozen, watching him, a weight lifting off my body as I watch him float away. Watching him for as long as I can, Latch’s words resound in my head, We have an amazing angel watching over us.

I miss you, I text Abby as I wait for Jessy outside of the seedy ass building that her appointment is in. Leaning against the brick wall of the building, I remind myself that as much as it hurts to go through what I have to today, that it’s the right thing to do. I love you, baby, she texts me back. Checking the clock, Jessy is late. I’m sure she wants me to call her and get all worried and shit. But it’s just not going to happen, if she can’t pull her crap together, then I’m gone. I’ll make the next appointment. “Latch!” Jessy yells, and I look to see her strutting towards me in another ridiculous dress. You’d think she was a goddamn stripper, not a yoga teacher. “What’s up?” I nod my head and she hugs me as I just stand there not really sure what to do. She looks up at me and says, “Really, you can’t even hug me back?” “I don’t like you like that.” “Come on, Latch, a friend’s hug.” “Exactly,” I chuckle. She swats at me and I ignore the gesture asking her, “Are you ready to head in? We’re already way late.” She nods and I open the door, following her inside the old brick building. She reads the directory with the list of all the occupants, then says, “Nineteenth floor.” “Haven’t you been here before?” I ask. “No, I told you this is my first appointment.” We take the elevator up and I can sense she is staring at me. “What?” I ask aggravated. I don’t mean to sound like a dick – I’m trying here, I really am – but she wants more from me than I can give her. “You’re so different.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “You’re just different now than when we used to be together.” “We were never together, Jessy.” “You know what I mean. It was just different back then,” she says. “Well, I didn’t give a shit about anyone except for myself.” “You could’ve fooled me.” “It’s the truth. Now, I’ve got Abby to worry about and things are a whole lot more complicated.” “Didn’t you like it when they weren’t complicated?” she asks stepping in front of me and touching my face. I scoff at her and yank her arm way. “You think when I was sleeping with multiple women for money all over New York, that wasn’t complicated?” “No, I meant I could give you a simple, non-complicated life.”

“So I should leave the woman I love, for you, because you’d be less complicated? You’re fucking crazy.” “I’m carrying your child, Latch!” “I don’t give a fuck.” “What about the connection we shared? How can you just let that go?” “Jessy, there was no connection. You were always a client, nothing more. When we were together, I kept you pleased so you’d keep paying me, not because I fucking cared. Don’t you get it? There are so many other women out there just like you that I made feel like they were the only ones. I was good at my job, but the truth is, it was a job and it’s part of my past. I have Abby now and she is it for me.” She steps away from me, her back against the other wall, and finally the doors to the old ass elevator open and we are on the nineteenth floor. I follow Jessy blindly, assuming she knows where to go. After what seems like a full circle around the building, we come back to the elevator and aggravated, I snap, “Really?” “Maybe we missed it.” “Are you even pregnant?” I ask in frustration. She blinks a few times without responding and then breaks down crying. I’m not sure what to do as she stands there with her head in her hands sobbing. Gently, I pat her back. That uncomfortable thing you do when you’ve said something wrong. “I’m sorry, Jess, I…I’m just really stressed, that’s all. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” She clings to me, hugging me again, and this time, I hold her gently. “Maybe it’s on the ninth floor,” she confesses through a sniffle. We take the elevator back down, and sure enough, as soon as we exit, there it is. Abby texts me as soon as we walk in and asks, How’s it going? Not sure yet, we just walked in. This girl’s a mess! “Hi, how can I help you?” the woman behind the desk asks Jessy. “I have an appointment with Dr. Neligh, at one o’clock.” The woman glances at her screen and then asks Jessy, “What’s your name?” “Jessica Baughman.” She types into the computer and Abby sends me a text, Oh, I’m sure she is. Is she dressed like a slut again? Yup! You should’ve yelled ‘rape’ when she walked up to you. LOL! I should’ve stayed home with you is what I should’ve done! “I’m sorry, Jessica, but I don’t have you in the computer today. It looks like your first appointment is next Thursday at one o’clock.” I gawk at her stunned, finding it hard to believe that this bitch didn’t do this on purpose. “Come on, there’s got to be a mistake. Can someone still see us today?” The woman shakes her head, “I’m sorry, the doctors are all at a conference. There’s no chance.” “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I blurt out. “I’m terribly sorry. Why don’t you two fill out this paperwork, then next week you’ll be all set to go?” “No,” I snap. “You wasted my fuckin’ time, I’m outta here!” Storming out of the office, I can’t get outside fast enough. Fresh air is a cool slap to the face and I hop the first cab I see to make my way home. Jogging up the front steps to our house, I unlock the door and slip inside. “Baby!?” I shout. “I’m in here.”

Heading towards her voice, I find Abby resting peacefully in a warm bath of water. “Oh fuck! How on earth did I get so lucky?” She grins, but I can see the underlying alarm in her expression. “Why are you home so quickly? Please, tell me she’s not pregnant.” Stripping off my clothes, I shake my head. “I wish. Where do I even begin?” “At the beginning, would be best.” “It’s such a long story. She’s fucking crazy.” “What happened?” “Scoot forward,” I tell her and slip behind her, the hot water feels so good on my skin. “Please excuse my hard cock,” I say as she lies back in my arms. “The sight of you in here does something to me.” “I like your hard cock,” she looks up at me, her lips slightly parted, and tenderly, I kiss them. Putting as much passion and love into the simple gesture as I can. “So what happened?” Abby requests, finally pulling away from my lips. I protest speaking, and kiss her again not wanting this moment to end. But she shakes her head, so I fill her in on everything, from how late she was, to the awkward hugs, to not being able to find the appointment, to me snapping, and then finally the fact that there was no appointment. “Something’s off, Latch. You remember how excited we were for our first appointment? I mean, we counted down the minutes, you were yelling at me to leave the house so we wouldn’t be late.” “Oh, I remember. How could I not? That’s why this is all so strange.” “Let’s take a step back. So you flat out asked her if she was pregnant?” “Yeah, I mean, I was frustrated and snapped and she just broke down crying.” “But she never said she wasn’t.” I think back…and guess she didn’t. “No, I don’t think she did.” “Latch, I’ve had a sour feeling about this from the beginning and it’s not that I’m jealous of her. Maybe she is pregnant and just saw an opportunity to take advantage of you today. But something is nagging at me, raising red flags, and I’m rarely wrong with these types of things. It’s like when Darrell was cheating on me. I knew well before any pictures ever surfaced online of him with anyone else.” “Can we please not talk about him?” I complain. “I’m sorry. I’m just saying, rather than waiting another week for her appointment while we’re dealing with her inciting messages and calls, let’s ask her to take a pregnancy test. She hasn’t proved shit so far. I think we should have the right to that.” I’m all ears for what she’s conjuring up, but accusing Jessy of something like this isn’t going to come easily. “How do you expect us to convince her to do it?” I still can’t fathom it. This type of shit is private to women, so to flat out accuse her of something like this could blow up in our faces. “Just text her, tell her that you’re sorry you overreacted today, and that you were edgy because you and I are fighting. Say I left you or something crazy, over all this, and now you want to see her.” I kiss her shoulder, not liking the idea of planting any hope in Jessy’s mind, but thinking of all my options, it might be the only way to go. “You think she’s dumb enough to just run over here?” “I absolutely do, one hundred percent.” “Remind me to never piss you off.” “Why’s that?” she asks with a layer of deceit mixed through her tone as her hands float in the hot water and her head rests comfortably against my chest. “Because you’re fucking smart!” “Don’t worry, I’d just cut your dick off!”

My hard cock immediately goes limp as she turns towards me, “You know I’m just joking… right?” “Are you?” “Yeah, you and I, we’re forever. So you have nothing to worry about.” “I like it when you talk like that, baby.” My cock gets hard again and Abby strokes it beneath the water. Taking every single thought and worry I have about all of this, I wrap it all up into the palm of her hand. Giving over to the pleasure as I rock my hips and grab a handful of her firm tit. She moans, loving the sensation, and moves her body, like she’s fuckin’ me. It doesn’t take her long until she has my shaft nestled between her thighs, engulfing me inside her, and I begin to thrust as the hot water surrounds me. Abby braces the sides of the tub, bobbing her body up and down. We work together, one unit, one purpose, all the bullshit ahead of us aside, and I can’t help but want this moment to never end. The water splashes up and out of the bath, hitting the floor. She slows her pace and I tell her, “Don’t stop.” She adjusts her footing so she has a better grip and enjoys fucking me mad. Drenching the bathroom, getting lost as she takes me where she wants. My cum is unbelievably intense, resonating from deep within my soul, and shivers run through my body. Abby always brings out the most powerful feelings from inside me. And as I give over to her, my body tensing, she shakes on top of me, moaning and screaming my name. The noise, her voice, this feeling, it is my greatest indulgence in the world. I lay back and let her body ride mine holding on to her sides. Each of us still moving and drifting away, yet again, to our slice of paradise.

“So are we gonna do this or not?” I ask Latch, dreading dealing with Jessy, but after coming for a fifth time, I’m floating high enough to feel the worry ease a notch. “Can’t it wait, just until tomorrow?” He’s spent and so sexy as he speaks. I close my eyes, nodding my head. My body drained from him working me so well. My hair is still wet from the bath, and my body clammy as I lay sprawled out at the foot of the bed. “So is that a yes?” He sounds exhausted, but after hours of fucking, it’s more than exhaustion – we are both annihilated. “I guess it can wait.” His phone rings and he rolls over, answering it. It sounds like his grandma. Who else calls him that he answers? “Hold on, let me ask her. You wanna go out to dinner?” and he squeezes my ass. “Tonight?” “Uh huh.” “If you wanna,” I tell him, not wanting to stand Maris up, even though I could sleep for a week straight. I groan as I finally roll over, taking in a huge breath of air. Latch says, “Yeah, we’ll go. Okay, love you.” Still lying on his face from where he collapsed after giving it to me from behind, he hangs up and looks over at me, his face smashed against the bed and he reaches for me. “Why does she want to go out?” “She had reservations at Twenty-Nine Bar, but her friend cancelled.” “I love that place.” “I know you do. Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” “Only because you tell me.” “Well, it’s the truth! So you’re gonna let me finally take your beautiful ass out?” I nod, a little excited inside. The truth is, we never go out. “Good!” he climbs on top of me and wraps his lips over mine and I succumb to his kisses. Loving the intimacy…the closeness. But it doesn’t last long as Latch rolls over and hops off the bed. “You better get ready!” He blinks a few times watching me still lying on the bed, then says, “You keep lying there naked and I’m bound to end up fucking you again.” I roll my eyes, knowing it’s true. “You know…I don’t think we’ve ever been on a real date.” He flops back down on the bed and searches my eyes, dragging his fingers all over my skin. “No? I don’t think we have, have we?” We haven’t. And you’d think after a year and a half together, that we’d at least have gone on one real date. “What about that night you picked me up from Maris’ and we had reservations at La Rue?” I ask him. “Doesn’t count – I attacked the paparazzo and we went home.”

“The beach house in Connecticut?” “We stayed in all week. Baby, this lifestyle has made us hermits. We are stuck indoors all the time. That’s not fair, and I’m tired of it. I want to take you out and treat you to dinner the way you deserve.” “If this is our first real date, then you need to ask me.” He smirks and kneels on top of me, his half hard cock resting against my chest and I can’t help looking at it. So proper! “Abby, will you go out to dinner with me?” I contemplate his question, completely messing with him. “You promise to be a gentleman?” He grabs my hands and urges his cock towards my mouth. “Aren’t I always?” My pussy tenses, and I lick the end of his shaft, but before swallowing him up, I say, “If you can promise me a good time, then I’ll go out with you.” “I promise you won’t regret it, how’s that?” Looking up at Latch and his delectable cock, I give in to him. Taking him in my mouth as my body is trapped beneath him. He scrunches his eyebrows together and grunts. “Fuck! You have such a good mouth!” Getting lost in this moment with him is perfection. Yeah, our relationship might be the total opposite of traditional, but to me…it’s just what I want. I wouldn’t change one thing…well…I would change one, but it’s not something I have control over, so I let go of the pain that hits me when I think of our son, praying that God has a bigger plan for us in this sliver of life we get to live in.

“Why, such a gentleman,” I tell Latch as he pulls my chair out for me. He leans down as he scoots it in, and whispers, “You have no idea.” I smirk, loving the way we’ve been playing. It’s not something we’ve ever done, but it’s fun. He sits next to me, focusing only on me. Pushing the rest of the noise and people away. Looking into his eyes, I zone out the room too. “Hi, welcome to Twenty-Nine Bar,” the waiter says, “What can I get the two of you to drink?” I contemplate my options and Latch says, “We’ll take a bottle of your 2012 Ponsot Clos de la Roche.” I sit stunned, gaping at Latch. He smirks and I place the menu flat in front of me. “I’ll be right back with that, sir,” the waiter tells him. “Where did that come from?” He points to his menu and I see the name listed at the top of the wine list. It’s also fourteen hundred dollars. “What the fuck?” “What, would you rather something else? You asked me for a good time.” I blink a few times, and then open my menu back up, looking over the food options. The waiter comes back over and shows Latch the wine, nods, and pours him a taste into his glass. Latch hands it to me and says, “What do you think?” I roll my eyes, taking the glass from him and swallowing a sip of this over-the-top but fucking delightful wine. It bleeds across my tongue and glides down my throat like silk. “You like it?” Latch asks me. “It’s perfect!” “Good!” The waiter fills our glasses and I set my menu down, savoring the deliciousness of the wine as I

watch Latch study the menu, so fixated on him and thankful that he is all mine. “What are you gonna get?” he asks me and looks up. “I don’t know, at the rate you’re going tonight, you can order for me. This wine is something else.” “You like it?” “I do.” The waiter comes back and Latch orders for us, then reaches over the table and takes both of my hands in his. I let go of my wine, zoning in on his stare. He swallows and says, “Abby, this is long overdue, but I need to thank you.” “For what?” I ask, confused. “For everything you’ve done and gone through for me. The way you accept me and deal with all my shit.” “You’d do the same thing for me.” “I don’t know. If you had my lifestyle, I’m not sure I could’ve accepted everything you have and loved me the way you do.” “You could. You don’t give yourself enough credit sometimes for how amazing of a person you are. Latch, you’re everything to me. We’ve been through some shit and had our trust tested time and time again, and even though we still have some to go through, we’ll make it, no matter what.” “Thank you, baby. I want you to know that no matter what happens with Jessy, nothing with us is gonna change. I want us to forge forward with our life as planned. I want us to move and start a family and grow old together.” “But I’m not going to be able to give you children.” “You keep saying that, but I don’t believe our son was our only shot. I want to meet with Dr. Rosland and see what other options we have.” Tears gloss over my eyes at the sheer thought of being disappointed all over again. Because, deep down, I know I’ll never be able to conceive. I can feel it in my soul. “Don’t cry, beautiful.” I nod, doing my best to push away the tears. “Don’t think the worst, think positive, like you’ve shown me how to do. It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to. If we need to adopt, then so be it. You were adopted, and you loved your parents more than anything.” I smile, loving his positivity. I’m not sure how he can take something so dark and scary and make me see the light in it. But he’s right, no matter what happens, we’ll make it, even if Jessy is pregnant. We’ll be a part of her child’s life. And if we can’t get pregnant, we’ll make our own family too.

Waiting for Jessy to text me back has me anxious. No matter the reason, purposefully deceiving someone is a hard thing to do. I stay on top of my phone, hoping this all goes according to plan. My mind keeps spinning, imagining so many different scenarios, and they all end with one conclusion… that she is pregnant. I mean, she has to be. She wouldn’t lie about something like that, not after knowing that Abby and I lost our baby…would she? “Baby?” I yell for Abby as I’m lying on our bed and she pops her head in. “What’s up?” I hand her my phone and she dries her hands on her pants before taking it. Then she reads the messages. “I don’t think I can keep the lie up,” I tell her. “Oh my God, you’re such a fucking pussy!” “What?” I ask, my ego wounded. “I’ll text her.” Abby sits next to me and I rest my arm over my head. Feeling bad suddenly for deceiving Jessy. “Stop stressing!” “I’m not,” I lie. “Really? After all this time, you think I don’t know when you’re lying? I can tell.” Abby keeps texting from my phone and I scoot over, resting my head on her lap. She runs her fingers through my hair waiting for a message back, then says, “She’s on her way.” “What did you tell her?” “You can read it.” “I don’t think I want to.” “Once in a lifetime, babe!” she shouts, already back in the kitchen. I told her at dinner last night that she was my once in a lifetime, so hearing her say the phrase back to me, makes me happy. My phone chimes and I see another text from Jessy. Opening it up I about vomit in my mouth. Does this mean you’re gonna give us a chance? I scroll up and read what Abby texted her after I gave it up. You’re not stepping on anyone’s toes. I’m done with Abby and all her bullshit, come over here. Really? Yeah! Why have you been so rude to me? I’ve been stressed trying to end things with Abby. I miss you! I miss you, Latch! You coming? You gonna make me come? You know me well!

On my way. Hopping off the bed, I walk into the kitchen where Abby is doing dishes and push away the vile feeling in my body. “You know you’re fucking cruel, right?” “I know,” she says. “And it felt good. At the end of the day, if she is pregnant, hopefully she’ll leave here devastated.” I kiss her hard, grabbing tightly on to the back of her neck as I hold her head just where I want. She melts under my control, moaning against my mouth. Giving her a taste of what she’s in for later, I leave her standing breathless and ask, “You ready for this?” She nods, my little partner in crime, devious in her own right. “Got the test?” I ask and she grabs it, sticking it into her back pocket. Just then there is a knock on the door and I look at Abby wide-eyed, “What, was she outside?” I ask. I shrug my shoulders and we walk to the door. Abby stands behind it so Jessy won’t see her when I open it. Looking out the peephole, just to be sure, I nod once to Abby and then open the door, gesturing her inside. Jessy flies in and leeches on to me. Abby slams the door and grabs the back of her hair, pulling her away. Jessy screeches, looking behind her as Abby stands in her way of leaving. “What the fuck?” She yanks away and I know I need to calm the situation. “What’s going on, Latch, I thought you two broke up?” I ignore the question and say, “I want you to take a pregnancy test, right now.” “Why? You don’t believe me?” she looks genuinely hurt and I hate to accuse her of something so heinous, but…it’s already been done. “I believe you, but…” I trail off and Abby saves the day. “I got an amazing job offer in Montreal and I have to answer them today on whether or not I can take it. In order for me to decide, I need proof.” “So, if I don’t piss on a stick for you, then you’re leaving the country with the father of my child.” “Well…yeah. If you won’t take the test, then Latch and I are going to take this opportunity.” “Fuck you, Latch!” she snarls at me. “I can’t believe you’re just gonna let this bitch decide your future. If you don’t trust me, then go. You don’t deserve to be a part of this baby’s life. Quite frankly, I don’t need you.” “You can stop with all the dramatics. Are you gonna take the test or not?” Abby outstretches it to her and Jessy snatches it away. “I’m not fucking doing this for either of you! It’s for the baby!” Then she storms off to the bathroom and Abby follows, stopping Jessy before she closes the door. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” “What? If you have nothing to hide, who cares? I’ll even let Latch watch you piss, if it makes you feel better.” I stand down the hallway waiting for the wrath of what’s next. Then I hear her piss and Abby looks at me with a huge grin on her face, knowing that we’ve won. I just hope more than anything that the test is negative. Jessy flushes and then Abby disappears into the bathroom. I assume to look at the results. I wait another second before going in, then all chaos breaks out. “You rigged it! You fucking jealous cunt! You fucking set me up!” Jessy screams and Abby passes me the test as I walk up to the doorway, and as clear as day on the digital screen it reads, “Not pregnant.” “How did I rig it? You opened the fucking package, stupid.” “Latch, she’s fucking crazy, don’t you see it?” Jessy is losing her grasp on me. It reminds me of how Darrell acted when he slowly lost his hold on Abby. Panicked and out of control. “You need to leave,” I tell her.

“No! I’m not lying. You have to believe me. I am pregnant! With our baby!” she pleads. “I took a dozen tests at home.” “Jessy, I bought this test at a store myself, so I know you’re lying. I want you out of my house, now!” She blinks a few time dazed then squeezes past me, crying, and barges through the door, leaving it wide open on her way out. Looking at Abby, she throws the test away and then washes her hands. Grabbing her by the sides, I pull her to me. Lifting her chin so our eyes stay connected, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe.

“So does this mean, after we get married you aren’t going to change your last name to mine?” Latch asks me. I slap him upside the head, “Would you shut up? You haven’t even proposed.” “What would you say if I did?” I roll my eyes, knowing he’s just messing with me. Looking down at the paperwork in my hand, a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders now that my last name has been legally changed. I never liked McEllrath. It wasn’t mine – it was Darrell’s – and my maiden name always meant a lot to me. It gave me purpose, it was my parents’ and represented when I became a part of their family. “Abby Lehigh. I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to get used to that. Now, Abby Teracino sounds so much better!” “Oh my God, Latch, you haven’t proposed!” “So you want me to?” I roll my eyes again and spot Maris sitting outside the rustic café waiting for us. I wave and she stands with the biggest grin on her face. “How did it go?” she asks, hugging us together. “It went well.” I hand her the paperwork and she smiles reading it. “She’s officially Abby Lehigh,” Latch says, kissing me on the cheek. We all sit down and she says, “I’m so happy, and no word from that girl…I hope?” I shake my head and Latch says, “Nope, minus a few angry text messages, it’s been quiet, thank God. Somehow I dodged a huge fuckin’ bullet with that one.” He speaks a little loud and other people eating look in our direction. Latch doesn’t seem to notice – he never does. It’s either that, or he doesn’t care what others think of him. “Well, just keep ignoring her, she’ll eventually stop. Did you guys have a chance to see that place I found in Manhattan?” she asks. “We’re actually heading there after this,” Latch says. “Oh, I hope you like it.” Latch squeezes my knee, alerting me that we need to tell her what our overall plan is. “Yeah, us too,” he adds. “But, if this place doesn’t pan out, I think we’re gonna look in Connecticut.” “Really? Why there?” she asks thrown off, and I proceed. “Before the accident, when we stayed at Jeremy’s beach house, it was perfect. It was everything we’ve ever wanted. No paparazzi or stress, it was just tranquil, almost surreal.” “Sometimes, I forget about what you go though on a daily basis, just leaving your house. Has it gotten any better?”

“Depends on the day, really,” Latch says. “Well, as much as I’d miss you both, I’ll always support you…always.” “That means a lot to us,” I tell Maris, and Latch reaches across the table, holding his grandma’s hand. As we sit here together, I couldn’t be more grateful for this little family that I’ve been welcomed into. These two mean more to me than I think they’ll ever realize. “Are you traveling anytime soon?” I ask Maris. “Yes, I have a Caribbean cruise coming up soon and then that refugee camp trip to Honduras.” I raise my eyebrows to Latch and he sets his fork down. “I thought you weren’t going to Honduras.” “I wasn’t, but they really need my help and I can make a difference.” “I don’t like it,” he barks. “I’ll be fine, dear. Why don’t you stop worrying about me?” He rolls his eyes, “Help me out here, Abby?” “I can’t stop her, she’s a grown woman!” He’s always worried about her, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Finally, we order and before we know it, our food has arrived. As we eat, I see Maris waving at someone walking by. I look behind me to see Dr. Rosland walking up the street. “Maris!” he exclaims entering the private patio. She stands and hugs him, and so do Latch and I. “Abby? Latch? How are you guys?” “We’re okay,” Latch says, wrapping his arm behind my back. “You feeling good?” Dr. Rosland asks me. “Yeah, I am.” “Hey, we’ve been meaning to call you to schedule an appointment,” Latch chimes in and I catch sight of Maris with a huge grin on her face. She’s an optimist. I wish I could be like her. But I’m not sure if I can be, knowing what I do, and seeing Dr. Rosland will force me to face the reality that we truly can’t have kids. “Why don’t you come by my office tomorrow? I’ve got a light day and can squeeze you in.” “Yeah?” Latch responds looking at me for approval. “Okay,” I agree, not wanting to let him down. I know how much this means to him, but I also know what the doctors told Darrell and I when we saw specialist after specialist years ago. “Great, I look forward to it. Maris, you look great, let’s have lunch soon, okay?” She nods as he kisses her cheek, and then he’s gone. “That’ll be great for you guys to see him tomorrow,” Maris says. “It will,” I lie, trying to convince them that I’m not nervous. As we eat, Maris and Latch are talking as if everything is perfect, and I try to keep in the conversation, but it’s hard. I can’t pinpoint why. Maybe it’s because I fear that as much as Latch and I love each other and as much as we try and fight for what we want, the reality of not being able to have kids could end us. When Darrell and I got the news, that’s when he changed and our relationship spiraled. “You okay?” Latch asks me. “I’m great.” I grab his hand and force myself into the conversation with him and Maris. Stressing isn’t going to help anything, it’s in God’s hands, the way my entire life has been.

“Hello?” I answer my phone as Abby and I drive to look at the house my grandma wants us to see. “Oh, thank God you answered, Latch!” I pull my phone away from my ear to see if maybe I missed the name, but sure enough it’s an unknown phone number. “For Christ’s sake, Jessy, what do you want?” “I took another test and it’s positive. I think your girlfriend is trying to sabotage me.” I laugh out loud at her ridiculous accusation. “I can assure you, she did no such thing. If anything…it’s you who sabotaged things.” “I’m serious, Latch.” “I’m sure in your mind you believe you are pregnant.” “Seriously? I have the test to prove it!” “How about this, Jessy – if you are pregnant, then have the baby and call me after it’s born so I can take a DNA test?” “You know, Latch, I thought you were a nice guy.” “Well…you thought wrong.” I hang up, hoping this is the last time that I ever hear from that woman. “Talk about a stalker!” I try to lighten the mood but can tell Abby is frazzled. “You okay?” I ask her. “What did she say?” I fill her in on the call, wanting to just close this subject once and for all. “She’s just making a last ditch effort, baby.” “Is she? I just thought the test would make all this stop and we’d never hear from her again…now this.” “I could tell by her tone, she’s lying. I made my point, baby. She knows to leave us alone.” Abby sits back in the car, her arms crossed over her chest, so closed off that I lean down, sucking on her neck so hard until she gives in to me. Pulling back, I see I left a mark and I like it. “Are you sure it’s done?” “I’m sure.” She inhales, like she’s been holding her breath, and the driver stops in front of the lavish home in Manhattan. “I love you, Latch.” “I love you more, now let’s go and see if this is our dream home.” I kiss her cheek, and get out of the cab. She holds my hand as we both examine the exterior of the house before walking inside. It really is something else, a huge Victorian piece of art. The realtor waves, struggling with the door, and I catch Abby chuckling at him. “How are you guys?” he asks, finally getting the door open. “Never been better, Neil. Thanks for showing this to us.”

“Of course, I owe Maris a favor or two. Now, this is a three-two with a split level plan, which you know in New York City is unheard of.” He flips on all of the lights and starts to show us around. The wood on the floors is dark and the walls are neutral in color. Everything is ready for us to move in, but as I look at Abby walking through, I can tell she’s not into it, and it has nothing to do with the phone call from Jessy. The realtor keeps talking as we follow him and I can’t help but keep my attention on Abby. Finally, we make it upstairs and he asks us, “What do you guys think?” “Could you give us a moment?” I ask him. His weathered eyes want this sale – I can see it. “Absolutely, I’ll be downstairs. Take all the time you need.” Abby watches him walk away and once he is out of sight, I get in her face needing inside her beautiful head. “What’s going through your mind?” “I don’t know.” “Don’t! Don’t lie to me, Abby! This is a huge decision for us!” “I’m not lying, I don’t know what’s going through my head right now.” “What are you thinking then?” “Stupid stuff.” “Like what?” “That I thought this place had a small back yard, which I don’t see. But…” she trails off, walking to one of the windows looking outside. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.” Gently, I turn her towards me. “Why are you doing this to yourself? We talked about this.” “I’m not doing anything on purpose.” “But you are, you’re thinking you know what the future holds, when you damn well know better than anyone that you don’t. You might think you do, but no one does.” She blinks a few times, processing my words, and I flat out ask her, “Would you just tell me what you think of this house?” “I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel like home and it doesn’t have a yard.” “See, was that so hard?” She shakes her pretty little head and I lean down, pressing my lips to hers. “Let’s go.” I extend my hands towards her and she wraps her delicate fingers around mine following me downstairs. The realtor looks at me excited, like he has a shot at closing the deal. “I’m sorry, it’s just not for us,” I respond and we walk out the front door. He stands stunned and I catch sight of Abby with a smile on her face. Seeing her happy is all I want in life. There really is nothing else that means more to me. Hopping in a cab, we head home. A tiny bit of satisfaction still shines through even though she has few words to say and that’s okay with me. With Abby by my side, whether our family grows or not, I couldn’t be happier. As traffic is at a standstill and I see the lights of the Brooklyn Bridge up ahead, I ask the cab driver, “Would you drop us off up there?” He pulls over and I pay him. “Why?” Abby asks me and I get out of the cab reaching for her hand. She looks across the seat at me, so hesitant. But she trusts me as I guide her out of the car without further explanation. Walking up the bridge, the cars roll on by and I look out at the East River, searching within myself for the strength and the words to give this amazing woman, who for some reason has chosen me in life, what she deserves. My chest is heaving as I turn to her. “Abby…” I swallow and look out on the water again, steadying my feet so I can put every ounce of my soul into this. “Abby, we’ve been through so much together. Probably more than most couples can say they experience in an entire lifetime. And through

it all, you’ve been my constant, my everything, my best friend, my lover. You’re my once in a lifetime and the mother of my son.” I lean forward with tears in my eyes and kiss her necklace. She places her hand over my necklace through my t-shirt and I continue. “We both know that nothing comes easy, and if this was it for us…right here and right now, I’d die a happy man. But I have a feeling that there’s more ahead for us. That we have a huge exciting future and…” I pull the elegant vintage silver ring from my pocket and Abby gasps as I get down on one knee. “This was my grandma and grandpa Latch’s, they were married for thirty-two years, and I was wondering if you’d do me the honor, no matter what we have to face, if we can or can’t have children, and become my wife.” “Yes!” she yells and drops to her knees, kissing me hard. I kiss her back, holding her tighter than ever. “I love you, Latch,” she says against my mouth and I search for her hand, needing to put the ring on it. It fits like a glove. She looks down at it beaming as I tell her, “I love you too, Abby.”

“NO!” she shouts as I show her my hand of cards and she has to remove yet another piece of clothing. I sit back, only missing my t-shirt, and shuffle the cards again. She refills our glasses of wine, her tits bouncing with every movement she makes. I had shit for cards this entire night, but somehow I keep winning on the river every time. Looking at my hand, I have an ace, three. “Fuck,” I mumble and she says, “What?” “Nothing.” I raise the ante and she taps her fingers, looking at her cards again and again. “You know you have a terrible poker face.” She sticks her tongue out at me and calls my raise. Laying out the flop, it’s nine, ace, king. As I look into her eyes, she takes a drink and I can’t read her for shit. But what I do know is if I win this hand, she’s naked and loses. Then she’s all mine. My cock stiffens, thinking about my plan for her, and I go all in. “I call.” “Really, that easily?” “Yup!” and she lays out her hand. She has king, nine. “Dammit!” I shout. “You could just take your pants off,” she gives me a hard time. “Fuck that!” I lay down the turn card and then the river and when I see a three and an ace come out, I know I’ve got her. “No way!” she slams her glass down. “You cheated.” “Oh, please! Don’t be a sore loser!” “I still have my underwear and my ring on, that’s two items.” Stepping to her, I shroud my body around hers, as I hold her by the back of the neck. “That ring is never coming off your finger, you fucking understand me?” She nods and I order her, “Tell me!” “Yes, I understand!” Grabbing my t-shirt off the table I twist it up and then place it over her eyes. Her breathing picks up as I knot it behind her head. “Remember, you lost, so I can do whatever I want to you.” She nods as I pick her up, cradling her against my chest. I walk us to our bedroom and gently lay her on the bed. She rests back, putting all of her trust in me. Skimming my fingers over her skin, goose bumps prick the surface, and I kneel on top of her legs. The pressure of my body confining her increases her breathing and I shred each side of her panties, then tear them off her as she lies completely still under my control.

Dragging the thin lace over her torso, she reaches for my cock, and I hold her hand away from me. She moans in protest and I let go of her panties, unbuttoning my jeans and releasing my dick. All the blood rushes to the head of it and she wiggles her body. Standing, I remove my jeans all the way and begin to kiss her body, every single bit of her skin will be touched by my lips, and I start with her fingers. Kissing every delicate one that holds more power over me than she realizes. Moving up to her arms, a place I love to be held in between. Then…her neck, her blood rushes through it. Turning me on, so much, and I kiss hard over her vein, relishing in the sensation. In this moment, everything feels so perfect and I’m happier than I’ve ever been, barreling my shaft deep inside of her. She gasps and I rip the t-shirt off her eyes. Needing to see her, to look into one another ’s souls. Every pump of my shaft pushes her up the bed, and I wrap my hands around her head, digging my elbows into the mattress as I put full movements into each thrust. My plan for the evening is thrown out the window. But that’s what Abby does to me – she takes over my body like a fucking hurricane. You’d think after all the years of escort work I did that I could control myself better, but not when it comes to Abby. The second our bodies blend together, I am at her mercy and I love it. I wouldn’t change a thing about the power she has over me.

“I really don’t want to do this,” I tell Latch, sitting in front of the toilet. “Why, because you’re hungover, or because you don’t want to see Dr. Rosland?” I throw up again and he holds my hair back. “Damn, girl, I drank more than you did.” “Don’t patronize me, Latch.” I look up at him and he lets go of my hair, passing me a tissue. “Ohhhh, fuck, it hurts!” I complain. “Come on,” he urges me up and brushes my hair out of my face. “Just once more?” I ask. “No, you don’t have anything left to throw up.” He carries me to the kitchen and sets me on the countertop. Looking in the fridge, he asks me, “Why don’t we have anything greasy in here?” “I don’t know, but I really don’t think I want to eat right now.” “It’ll help. Trust me! What about the burrito guy?” Latch asks and then looks out the window, trying to spot if he’s on the corner or not. “No, just make me some toast.” “You want another drink? That might do the trick,” he teases me and I could slap him with that comment. The thought alone makes me dry heave over the sink. He shakes his head and grabs the bread. “What?” I ask as he is staring at me, my mouth gaping open, not my finest moment, that’s for sure. “Nothing,” he responds and I rinse my mouth out. “Could we just see Dr. Rosland tomorrow?” “No way, he’s squeezing us in today. Suck it up, girl.” “Thanks,” I glare at him as he butters my toast then hands me a plate with two pieces on it. I look down at the bland food, but know I need something in my stomach to absorb the rest of the alcohol. “I’m never drinking again,” I tell him as I choke down the toast. “Sure, you’re not. Until I buy that wine again.” “You’re not buying it.” “Oh, yes, I will!” Rolling my eyes at Latch as I finish the toast and fill a cup with water, he asks me, “Ready?” “I guess.” He kisses me and quickly pulls away. “Oh, fuck, go use mouthwash!” I flip him off as I walk back to the bathroom, swishing the minty liquid around my mouth. Bracing myself on the sink, thankful that my stomach feels settled, I can’t help but look down at the ring on my hand. It sparkles in the light, taking me back to yesterday when Latch got down on one knee. It was by far the last thing I expected him to do, but it was the greatest surprise I could ever ask for.

Walking out to the living room, Latch is texting on his phone. “Who’s that?” I ask and grab a coat as it’s a little rainy today. “My grandma.” “She wants to throw us an engagement party.” “Uhhh, who would come?” “I think it’s more for her, babe.” I would have to agree with Latch. On the way home last night, we stopped by her house and she about jumped out of her skin, she was so thrilled and excited that he asked me so soon after she gave him the ring. Walking out, we hop in Maris’ car, which we borrowed last night so we could begin our house hunting in Connecticut. “How’s it feel to drive again?” I ask Latch. “It’s fine.” “You’re not tense at all?” “No, what happened with Darrell isn’t going to change me.” I smile, watching the way he grips the wheel with easy confidence and find myself drifting back to that day. To the day that did forever change our lives. But what matters is how we let it affect us now. Do we live, letting it define who we are? Or is it just a scar, that every so often we’re reminded of, but for the most part is tucked beneath our clothing? Pulling up to Dr. Rosland’s building, we somehow find a spot, which Latch backs into like a pro. Getting out, I pop a few coins in the meter and then we head inside. My stomach is a ball of nerves mixed with the leftover alcohol and toast, and I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through this. Before we enter, Latch stops me on the sidewalk and cups my cheek, underlying concern imprinted on his face. “Thank you for doing this today, baby.” “Of course,” I respond and hope that the reality of the news we are about to get doesn’t break him, the way it did me when I found out the truth so long ago. “Hi Francine,” Latch says, smiling at the older woman who runs the front desk. “Latch! Abby! Dr. Rosland said he was expecting you today. Come right this way.” She opens the door for us to walk back and then says, “If you could please wait in room two, and Abby, if you can leave a quick urine sample in the bathroom.” “Why?” I ask. “Dr. Rosland wants to see if you’re ovulating.” I oblige, stepping into the sterile bathroom and write my name on a label before I affix it to the side of the small cup that I quickly pee into and leave behind the tin door. Heading out, I find Latch in the room and he smiles when he sees me. “God, this is like déjà vu, huh?” He looks around, holding my hand in his. “It really is.” I can’t help but stare at the screen that not so long ago brought us so much joy. The same screen that showed us our baby boy for the first time. Nervously, I fidget with my necklace and Latch stops me, placing his hand over mine. “Don’t! Let the past go. Today is a new day, baby.” I nod and Dr. Rosland pulls me back to the present walking in with a huge smile on his face. “How are you guys?” he asks, sitting across from us, with genuine concern. “We’re good,” Latch responds and I nod in agreement. “Good. Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot. But I wanted to make sure we were all on the same page here. The ultimate goal is to get pregnant again, right?” “Right,” Latch says. “Abby?” Dr. Rosland asks me.

“Yes, that’s the goal. But I’ve been through all this fertility testing before and was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome a few years back.” “But you got pregnant in the past, right?” I agree, not able to push that aside. “Then, why don’t you think it can happen again?” “My body doesn’t produce eggs.” Dr. Rosland scoots closer, looking both Latch and I in the eye before saying, “That is true. But there are cases in women with PCOS where their bodies will produce a mature egg every so often, and I believe that is what you’re experiencing.” “And you know that from a urine test?” I laugh awkwardly. “No, I know that because you’re pregnant!” I swallow, not believing the words. My bottom lips quivers as I try and process what he just said. “What?” “Yup, I ran an ovulation and pregnancy test, completely routine, and you guys are pregnant. Again.” “Holy fuck!” Latch shouts, grabbing my face, his eyes glazed with the most glorious tears I’ve ever seen. “Are you sure?” he asks. “Yes.” I’m stunned, not believing the news. There can’t be a way that this is possible. Then Latch drops to his knees, touching my stomach, and all of my worries wash away. He whispers into the fabric of my clothing, sobbing, and I touch the back of his hair holding him against me, praying that this time… our dreams do come true.

As I lean forward and turn the recorder off on my cell phone, I can see the love between Latch and Abby. It’s something beautiful, so pure and genuine. He rubs a stray tear away from under her right eye and I look down closing my book of notes as the Prezident kisses my cheek. “I know this has been really hard for you guys, and we want to thank you both for going back and reliving everything you went through.” Abby swallows and says, “Thank you for pushing us to share our story with the world. If anything, at the end of the day, I hope we can inspire people to follow their hearts.” I look next to me at the Prezident – he and I have been working on this story for the last three years, and after so long, I think we finally got it right. “Are you ever going to come forward and reveal your true identities?” Latch shakes his head before Abby can answer, and the Prezident says, “Damn, I was hoping I could drag your ass to some signings with me.” We all laugh and Latch says, “Not a chance, man, that’s your world. You’re on your own.” “Come on, the readers love you, brother,” the Prezident says. “I’ve got all the ladies I need right here.” The Prezident knows there is no convincing Latch. They grew up together. Their fathers ran in the same club, so they’ve always been close. Just then, Maris comes through the front door and says, “I’m sorry to interrupt you guys, but you have to hear this.” “It’s okay, we just finished,” I tell her as Matilda and Anne, Latch and Abby’s twin girls named after their mothers, barge through the door arguing. Abby flies off the couch to stop them, and Maris sits next to Latch with their nine-month-old son, Landis, in her arms. “Does that mean dinner at my place?” She lives next door to them on the coast of Connecticut and I tell her, “Absolutely!” loving her cooking so much. She really is amazing in the kitchen. “Hey, little man,” Latch says, and the baby giggles, all drooly and cute. Then Abby comes back and sits next to Latch. Maris says, “Who is this, Landis?” she points to Latch and Latch pokes his belly, causing the baby to laugh hysterically. Then as clear as day Landis says, “Dada!” Latch grins like a maniac and takes the baby into his arms, holding him close to his chest. Abby wraps her arms around her two guys, savoring such a precious moment. And as we watch this family together, these people that have so bravely shared their story with the world, they have truly become the Prezident and I’s greatest friends and we couldn’t be more proud to be a part of their journey!

William, how do I ever thank you for making Latch and Abby’s story a reality? I’m not sure how you did it and I’m forever grateful. Thank you for tearing this book apart so it spoke true to Latch and Abby. I owe so much to you and want you to know how much your help and support mean to me. I love you so much, baby, to the moon and back! Lisa, we did it! And we did it beautifully. Thank you for all of your help and guidance in developing a solid conclusion to LATCH. I’m not sure how I got so lucky to be able to work with an editor like you, but I did, and I wouldn’t change a single thing. You are so talented with every single one of my stories you touch. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store. Love ya, lady! Leticia and Janice, you ladies are the world’s best proofreaders. Thank you for taking on yet another one of my books and seeing it through to perfection. I love you both and appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. I have to give a special shout out to all my crazies, especially the craziest, Crystal – thank you for keeping me in line and my head on straight while I wrapped this book up. You have been a tremendous help to me and I am so very appreciative. And to all of you that read an ARC of ABBY and took the time to share your thoughts and emotions with me, it meant so much to me. That is why I write – to make you all happy and give you that satisfied and fulfilled feeling. The support you all have shown me is amazing. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Last but absolutely and certainly not least, to all the readers, reviewers, and bloggers, I hope that you loved ABBY and it was the conclusion to LATCH you were hoping for. If you’d like to leave a review on Amazon, both the Prezident and I read every single one of them. We’d love to hear your thoughts! Be sure to add my next book, The Arrogant Architect, to your Goodreads TBR. It will be released in August 2016 goodreads.com/book/show/31146263-the-arrogant-architect

Website: www.authorlkcollins.com Facebook: Author LK Collins Twitter: @authorlkcollins Goodreads: LK Collins Amazon Author Page: LK Collins

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