ma7 No Big Deal

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/428989. Rating: Archive Warning: Category: Fandom: Relationship: Character: Stats:

Explicit No Archive Warnings Apply F/M Doctor Who RPF Alex Kingston/Matt Smith Alex Kingston, Matt Smith Published: 2012-06-09 Completed: 2012-08-05 Chapters: 10/10 Words: 41100

No Big Deal by clare009 Summary

Matt has been down in the dumps. Alex comes over to cheer him up.

Notes See the end of the work for notes

Chapter 1 Matt sat on his couch and flicked lint off his joggers at the football match. Manchester United were already up 2-nil and he fucking hated them. Gritting his teeth, he dug in the corner of the sofa for the remote and shut the screen off. He flung the remote away and began to pace up and down his living room floor. He was ansty, and movement was the only way he could work out his frustration. It was hard not to think of the little 'pep' talk the Moff had given him earlier today. You're on edge, Matt, the Moff had said with that smirky little grin of his. You need to settle down, take it easy. Don't want to scare the new girl away, eh? I know your mates've left the show, but you're a pro, boyo—now act like one. Moffat was wrong. It wasn't just that Kaz and Darvill had moved on without him, it was everything about his life. His thirtieth birthday was coming up too fast and all of a sudden it felt like... he didn't even bloody know what it felt like because he'd nothing to compare it to. Matt kicked the edge of the sofa, yelling at the sharp pain in his bare foot, and then hopped over to the kitchen counter where he buried his head in his hands. He should be so grateful about everything; he had good friends, a fantastic career—he was on top of the world. But when he looked down the passage to his bedroom, and the empty king-sized bed where he slept alone, a hollow feeling filled his chest. Christ, maybe all he needed was a decent shag. He should go out, go to a club tonight. There'd be plenty of pretty young things willing to come home with him and let him fuck them until he reached oblivion. He rubbed his eyes until they felt raw. Was that really what he wanted? A revolving door on his flat so that when one left another one could enter to take her place? Fuck, he was tired of that, too. He had been for a while. He could do just as good with his hand and a bottle of lube. For one heart-clenching moment, he missed Daze. He missed her warm body pressed against his, he missed her tumbled, make-up smeared look in the mornings, he missed her clothes scattered around his bedroom floor and her piles cosmetics in his bathroom. He just missed having her about, hogging the telly, constantly on her mobile, moaning about his disgusting habits. Although he didn't quite miss the moaning. Or the whinging about the long hours he worked, how he was constantly travelling to work on or promote Who. Perhaps he didn't miss all of that. Although he'd met up with her a few times since their relationship had disintegrated, and of course they'd shagged, but come morning she'd toss him out on the curb, not interested in entertaining him beyond between her legs if he wasn't willing to change to suit her. He snorted. And why the hell should he have? Something whispered inside him that perhaps, for the right woman, he would do whatever it took to keep them. As far as he was concerned, he could live without a woman telling him what to do. His door buzzed, shocking him out of his thoughts.

Matt frowned, who'd visit without ringing him first? And he didn't remember ordering any pizza, yet. With his hand on the doorknob, he squinted through the tiny peep-hole and was surprised to see a head of curly hair. He pulled the door open with a grin even as his heart beat a little faster. What the hell was she doing here? "Well! If it isn't Alex Kingston. On my doorstep. Would you look at that?" "Matthew," his fantastic co-star said with her trademark 'knock 'em dead' smile, "what's your poison?" "Excuse me?" From behind her back she produced a bottle of wine and a bottle of whiskey. "What's your poison?" He leaned back, mouth hanging open. She took advantage of his shock and barreled into his flat. Matt shut the door and followed after her. She plonked the bottles on his kitchen counter, then began to rummage in his cupboards, plucking a couple of mismatched glasses out of the disorganization. "I prefer wine myself, so I'll open that first." She pulled open drawers until she found the corkscrew. With deft fingers she peeled away the top seal and wound the screw into the cork. She eased it out with a pop and poured a generous amount into one of the glasses. Holding it up, she winked at him and said, "cheers." Matt finally managed to find his tongue as he watched her gulp down a large sip of wine. "What's the occasion? And I didn't think you were in town yet." "Oh, well... A little bird told me that a certain Mr. Smith was down in the dumps. Since I had nothing better to do this evening, thought I'd pop over and cheer you up with some booze. I landed yesterday for an audition this morning. Does that answer any questions?" At the sight of her and the way her eyes crinkled up in the corners when she smiled at him, Matt suddenly felt his heart lift. Perhaps life wasn't nearly so bad. "That little bird wouldn't happen to be called Steven Moffat would it?" Alex laughed, a throaty sound that was full of life and warmth. "Could be. Apparently you've been a crabby old man ever since the other two thirds of the golden trio left the show. Now, I'm here to tell you, screw them. I mean Steven and the lot of them. You take all the time you need to adjust to the change, darling. You're the star, after all. They're not going to do a thing without you on board. Trust me." Matt burst out in a chuckle. "God, it's good to see you again Kingston. I know it hasn't been that long, but I've missed you nonetheless." Walking around the counter and into the living room, Alex made herself comfortable on his sofa. She patted the seat next to her. "Go on. Grab yourself a drink and come here. You can tell me all about it. You have my undivided attention for one evening." He helped himself to some of the wine, a gorgeous red that melted on his tongue as he sipped it

and sent a golden warmth spreading out through his chest. As he sat down and leaned back into the cushions, he said, "How did you know I wasn't planning a fun evening out?" "I did my research. Karen said you've been ignoring her texts, Arthur said you've pretty much stopped harassing him and everyone else said you've been holed up in your flat for the last month and refuse to go out for drinks after work. What's wrong Matt? Besides Karen and Arthur, because I know you'd not ignore them like this unless you were truly going through a rough time." Smiling Alex was gone. Now she was watching him with concern over the rim of her glass. Matt held her eyes for a moment, and then huffed before he took a gulp of wine. "I honestly don't know. At first I thought it was because of Kaz and Arthur, but then it sort of grew and now..." He shrugged, feeling helpless to explain this to her. "Now sometimes I can barely breathe. It's all so stupid, I know—" "Matt, it's not stupid." She reached a hand out to his knee. It felt warm and real to him, like the wine in his mouth. "Sometimes life can be overwhelming. And sometimes, knowing what it is that's making you feel like this can go a long way to helping you get over it. And then there are times when you need to look to others for help, when you really can't manage it on your own, and that's okay, too." He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He always felt slightly nervous around Alex, because, well because she was Alex bloody Kingston, that's why, and she was gorgeous and flirty and clever and such a pro. They were friends, of course, but they hadn't spent enough time together to reach any real level of familiarity. And now here she was, alone on his sofa, her hand on his knee and talking to him sincerely about his recent bout of cantankerousness. "And if you can't talk to anyone else," she was saying, "you know you can always, always talk to me." "Thank you. That means a lot." And he discovered that it really did. Her opinion had always mattered to him. "Have you ever gone through anything like this?" "Where I want the world to disappear and everyone to leave me the bloody hell alone?" He smiled. "God. Countless times, darling. And worse. There was my first divorce—that was a fucked up mess if ever there was one. I didn't even want to continue living after that." Matt raised his eyebrow. "What made you choose otherwise?" "My family. And my good friends," she said with a twist of a smile as the pain of the memory flashed across her face. "And the grief I would cause them. And then things got better. I had my own career and I learned to live again. I even fell in love again, if you could imagine that. Not that it worked out a whole lot better, but I suppose that go around I was a little more jaded, and I had a lot more to live for." "Your daughter," he said with a smile. "Of course." Alex grinned and squeezed his knee. "But really, now. We're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you. How is everything going with the new girl—has she learned not to take any rubbish from all of you lot, yet?" "Oh god," Matt scraped a hand through his hair. "I've probably been a bit of a twat. She's nice and all, but I haven't gone out of my way to make her feel comfortable. She seems like the type who

can take care of herself, and she's doing a brilliant job—everyone loves her—but I just... I don't know. I can't bring myself to make the effort, you know?" "Well you must, you must." Alex raised her glass and he was caught by the way she pressed the rim against the fleshy part of her lips as she drank. "We're professionals, Matt. And we're actors. If anything it should be easy for us to fake it. So fake it if you have to, because you still have a job to do." "Yes, mum," he said with a wink. Alex slapped his knee. "Dear lord, I am not your mother. Don't ever call me that again, you sod." He laughed. "So, Ms. Kingston, have you ever had to, you know, fake it?" She raised an eyebrow. "Well now. I can't tell you that." "Oh? Why not?" "Because no man has ever been able to tell the difference. If you knew, I would have to kill you." Her smirk sent a flush through him. He was already warm from the wine, and now he was a little bit warmer. "I bet I could tell," he said in a rush. "Oh no. I seriously doubt it. I'm very, very good." Her fingers did a little tiptoe up his thigh. He grinned, because this was Alex at her finest. She was always a terrible flirt. "I could," he said with his best smirk on, "because, you'd never have to fake it with me." She barked a laugh. "They all say that, darling." Matt leaned forward slightly. "You'd just have to ask any girl I've ever shagged, Kingston. They'd all tell you the same thing." "What, that you're horribly conceited and need a street map to find the way to a woman's clitoris?" "They'd tell you I'm the best they've ever had." He licked his lips deliberately and noticed how her eyes flickered down to watch his tongue. "But those were all girls, darling. I bet you've never had to satisfy a woman." Her eyes held his and there was the devil of a smile lurking around her lips. Suddenly his heart constricted in his chest and he flushed hot and cold. Her lips, stained a little by the wine, were all he could focus on. They were ripe and plump. Alex shifted to face him, her hand now firmly planted on his inner thigh. "Would you like to try? His breath caught in his throat. Try as he might, he could not mistake the meaning of her words. She gently took his glass from him and placed it on the coffee table with her own. And then she leaned in to kiss him. Her mouth was soft and supple as it brushed over his, and he could smell the bouquet of the wine on her breath. Matt could barely move, his entire body had frozen as all his senses were

swallowed up by that single point of contact. Alex licked teasingly at his upper lip, her tongue flicking out to taste and torment him. And then he convulsed in a shudder and his mouth opened up with a groan. He pressed into her kiss, returning it as a need he'd never before been aware of blazed through him. His tongue slid into her mouth like butter, and his hands came up to grasp her shoulders. With a gentle push, he angled her back into the cushions and proceeded to take charge of her lips. He slanted his mouth over hers and dipped his tongue in and out, stroking her palate, running it along her teeth and tangling it with her tongue. One of her hands found its way between his legs and she cupped him beneath his joggers. Matt groaned into her mouth, his erection achingly hard. He broke free, his chest heaving in and out, and stared at her. "Alex, what are we doing?" She licked her lips. They looked swollen and slightly bruised. "I thought that part was obvious, darling." "Yes. No... I mean, we can't do this. It's not..." He shook his head. "Not what? We're consenting adults, aren't we? Neither of us are in any sort of relationship. We find each other attractive—at least I find you attractive, and judging by—" She gave him a little squeeze. "—you do likewise. There's nothing wrong with two adults who fancy each other having sex." He swallowed. It was painfully difficult to keep from thrusting into her palm. "Yes, I know, but... but we work together. Wouldn't it just complicate things?" "Only if we let it. Besides, the Who cast and crew have been shagging each other ever since the show started in the sixties—we wouldn't be setting any precedents, darling. It's no big deal. Unless, of course, you're not interested..." She raised an eyebrow and he could tell from the glint in her eye she'd never believe him if he said he wasn't. And god knew he most definitely was. Hell yes he was. This was Alex, for Christ's sake, with her fingers stroking him and starting fires along his nerve-endings. She was selfconfident, beautiful and the most truly genuine person he knew, and she was so out of his league he'd never considered that this could be a possibility. And yet, here she was... It was like winning the lotto when you'd never even purchased a ticket. His eyes fluttered closed as he thrust down into her hand. He let go of all reality except the friction of her palm running up and down his length. She pulled him down and pressed kisses along his jaw, and she nipped at him, scraping her teeth down his neck, sending little bursts of pleasure across his skin. "God, you taste good," she said. He could hardly articulate his own response. A whine escaped him when she finally released him to tug his shirt off, and then her hands were running up and down his chest, smoothing across the lean muscles of his abdomen. His cock twitched when her fingers dipped below the waistband of his joggers and brushed at it. Her fingers were burning hot, leaving trails of fire wherever they touched.

She pushed his joggers down over his bum and glided her palms over his cheeks. She squeezed and petted him, making him gasp as she scraped her nails down his crack and between his legs. "Fuck, Alex, Fuck..." Finally, she pushed his joggers down to his knees and his erection sprang out. He could feel the throb in the head of his cock and he wondered if he could keep it together with the way her hands were teasing him. She had run her nails up his inner thighs and now she was stroking his balls. Then her hand slid around the base of his erection and started to squeeze him. He panted with the effort of keeping himself still in her hands as she worked up and down his length. Matt opened his eyes to find her staring at him, her eyes black with lust and the tip of her pink tongue peeking out from the corner of her mouth. And he could feel his balls tighten and the pressure building inside him at just the look on her face, framed by her lavish corkscrew curls. Fuck, he was going to come like some inexperienced schoolboy, all over the front of her shirt. Yanking himself out of her grasp with a groan, he pushed her hands away and fell back into the cushions as he tried to get a hold of himself. He sucked in lungfuls of air to steady the fire in his belly. "Don't you like that?" Alex said, her voice hiding a touch of anxiety. It brought him back to reality. He let out a hoarse chuckle. "I think the problem is I like it a bit too much. I didn't want to ruin your shirt." She laughed and brought her hand to the top button. "Maybe I should take it off, just in case." She flicked the buttons open one by one and pulled her shirt off, tossing it to the floor. Matt sucked in a breath when he saw the lacy bra she was wearing. The garment did nothing to disguise the hard shape of her nipples. His hands itched to cover her breasts and feel those solid peaks beneath his palms. His gaze wandered down the curve of her belly and to the arc where her waist started the turn into her hips. "And your trousers. Wouldn't want to ruin those either," he said, his voice suddenly rough. Alex winked at him as she stood to unsnap her trousers and let them drop to the floor. Her body had the most perfect shape. Her waist was tiny, her hips flared out into toned and generous thighs and long legs. His eyes rested on the crease at the top of her inner thigh. Her underwear tantalizingly outlined the shape of her and he licked his lips. "Knickers, too, Kingston. Otherwise you can kiss them goodbye." "Darling, I think I've ruined those already." She moved to stand between his legs. "Why don't you kiss them goodbye?" Matt grinned, welcoming the suggestion. He ran his hands up the outside of her thighs and rested them on her hips. Then he pulled her into to him as he leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss on her stomach, just below her belly button. Alex arched into him as he kissed his way slowly down her stomach to the top of her knickers. He took a moment to breathe in her musky scent, then with his cheek pressed against her hip, he dragged her knickers to the floor, unveiling her

perfectly formed quim. She was freshly shaved, creamy and gorgeous while her lips were almost blood-red and shining wetly, pursed to hold a delicious secret. With one hand around her thigh to support her, he raised her other leg onto the sofa then he pressed his face directly to her centre. His tongue delved into her, spreading her open with slow, teasing licks. Her musk exploded on his tongue, mingling in a tangy contrast to the mellow red he'd been drinking. He licked around the nub of her clitoris and felt her jerk beneath him. "Like that do you?" Alex's only reply was a guttural sound and the sharp clutch of her fingers in his hair. He began to focus on her clit, starting by licking the alphabet across it in generous sweeps of his tongue. He deliberately avoided any forays into her opening. He wanted to drive her insane, and from the way she began to keen and beg as she gave little thrusts into his mouth, Matt knew he was succeeding. Suddenly he felt himself knocked back onto the sofa with force. Alex looked at him with fury. "Rubbers?" He coughed. "Um. There's some in the bread bin. Don't ask." She turned and walked across his living room. Matt licked her juice from his lips as he watched her arse sway as she walked. He idly stroked himself, while she found his secret stash. Alex ripped the condom package open with her teeth when she returned. She batted his hand away and slid the sheath onto his cock. Then, without so much as a by your leave, she straddled him, positioned herself and sunk down onto him in one movement. "Jesus, fucking Christ, Alex." Matt suddenly found it hard to breath. She'd taken him in, all of him, like it was no big deal. He could feel the tight press of her walls around his cock, so hot, and when she began to undulate on top of him, the pressure and friction was almost more than he could bear. "Matthew, you are bloody perfect," she said with a whine above him. "God, it's not fair. I could fuck you forever, you perfect, perfect man." He captured her mouth with a groan. He sucked her tongue as she rode him, his cock inside her reaching as deep as it could go. His hands were busy, too, undoing the clasp of her bra and pulling it from her breasts so that he could feel her completely naked against him. The peaks of her nipples scraped his chest up and down with her motion, until he bent his head and captured one in his mouth. He sucked her hard and she let out a long, glorious cry which ended in a half-sob as she shattered around him. Her walls pulsed around him and she shuddered through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Matt quickly flipped her around and onto her back. She watched him, dazed, as he pressed her thigh up, her knee almost to her ear, and slammed into her. He reached down between them and tweaked her clit, slamming into her again. He had one more thrust to give her, and she split apart again with a wail. He felt the damn inside him burst, releasing everything. He came in one violent, shocking explosion. When his vision finally cleared, he was slumped over her, his cock still twitching inside her, and her hand was trailing patterns across his spine.

He nuzzled into her neck, kissing her beneath her ear. "Matt," she said, "as much as I love a cuddle, I'm having a hard time breathing right now." "Hmmm." He couldn't get enough of the flavour of the delicate skin beneath her ear. "Darling, you're squashing me." She wheezed. His eyes flew open and he tried to scramble off her, but his legs got tangled in the sofa cushions and he fell to the floor with a thud. "God, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot." Alex chuckled. "You're the best idiot I know. Besides..." She slipped off the couch and stretched alongside him, turning into the curve of his embrace and resting her head on his chest. "This is the perfect place for cuddling." Matt let his eyes fall shut as he breathed in the clean smell of her hair. It was no big deal, but he he had a feeling he was going to be all right from now on.

Chapter 2 "Shit, sorry I'm late." Matt ran a hand through his hair. "I can't believe I overslept. And Christ knows where my mobile went. Still couldn't find the thing. I got in pretty late last night—they switched around my filming schedule at the last minute, you see—" "Please don't worry about it Mr. Smith." The event organizer only shook her head and smiled. "We've planned for these types of delays, and trust me, the fans aren't going anywhere until they see the Doctor." "Oh, right. Yes—that's me, isn't it?" He grinned. "Please call me Matt, all right? Mr. Smith sounds like my dad." "Of course," she said, sticking out her hand. "I'm Judy. I'll be your assistant for the duration of the convention. I'll tell you when and where you need to be, and, of course, if there's anything you need, just let me know." Matt shook her hand politely. He was pleased she looked efficient and not at all flustered by his presence. So many of these cons were run by fans themselves, and not all of them were professional about it. But Judy put him at ease right away. "So what's first on the agenda?" She consulted her clipboard. "Right. We've got to get you to auditorium B." She took off walking through the hotel lobby at a brisk pace and Matt hopped to catch up with her. Over her shoulder, she said, "Auditorium B is the River-Doctor Q & A session. Ms. Kingston's there already fielding questions and we slotted Mr. Sheppard in with her in case you couldn't make it, but they've only been going for fifteen minutes, so it should be no trouble for you to join them on stage." Matt's stomach clenched. Of course he'd known that Alex was going to be a part of the convention, and he'd been looking forward to seeing her, but suddenly the whole idea of meeting up with Alex in such a public situation made him want to turn and run very fast in the other direction. Possibly because the last time they'd been together, she'd shagged him blind—once on his sofa, once on his living room floor and once, when they'd finally stumbled through to his bedroom, on his king-sized bed. She'd left him sometime in the early hours of the morning when he'd been snoring blissfully and had been decent enough to leave him a note thanking him for the fabulous evening. He'd been meaning to call her ever since, but somehow every time he picked up his phone to dial her number, he'd thought of a million reasons why it was a stupid idea and chickened out. He'd drunktexted her once, but hadn't got a response to that that one—thank god. He'd hoped to make it up to her this weekend, maybe buy her dinner or something—what the hell did one do to say thank you for a good shag? "Mr. Smith?" Judy was tapping her clipboard and frowning up at him. He blinked. They'd stopped in front of a side-door. "Excuse me... What?" "I asked if you wouldn't mind waiting here for a moment. I want to let them know we'll be bringing you in." "Oh. Right. Of course." He rubbed the back of his neck and cursed his rolling stomach. It was only Alex, after all. She'd said it wouldn't affect things if they didn't let it. And it's not like he'd

been thinking about her non-stop since that night, because he hadn't been. He'd been busy with filming, and he'd actually been trying to make it up to Jenna for being such a prick to her at first. He'd been getting on with stuff. Figures that it really was a just a good fucking he'd needed to get him out of his funk. Judy reappeared, startling him out of his thoughts once again, and waved him inside. Show time, Matty. He straightened his shoulders and stepped into the auditorium. The announcer called his name out over the crappy PA system and the crowd of fans began to clap and cheer deafeningly as he leaped up the steps and onto the stage. He blinked under the glare of the flash photography, while someone quickly fitted a mic to his shirt. "Welcome to Birmingham, Doctor," the announcer was saying. He waved to the audience. "Sorry I'm late, everyone. The TARDIS had a bit of a wobbly landing." They all laughed uproariously at his corny joke and Matt beamed at them. The Doctor Who fans were the best. They gave him so much love and he lapped up every moment of it. In the beginning, it had been quite intimidating, but he'd learned to take the fan adoration for what it was —mostly harmless and completely genuine. "We want to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule, Mr. Smith. We know you're currently in the middle of filming season seven with the new companion. Is there anything you can tell us?" "Yeah, thanks mate—and call me Matt, please. Mr. Smith's my dad." He paused for the crowd to laugh. "And really, we've been having a fab time filming. Jenna is amazing, you know. She's so talented. I think you're all going to be blown away by what Steven's come up with this year." "Could you give us any details?" Matt laughed. "Sorry, Steven would find a slow and painful way to kill me if I did. What's the word my gorgeous wife uses?" "Spoilers!" They all called out at once. Matt turned around to see where Alex was sitting next to Mark Sheppard. Suddenly what he was going to say got stuck in his throat and he couldn't look away from her. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, wild curls all twisted and snaking adorably. And then her face broke into a wide smile for him, and suddenly all his tension unravelled. It was going to be all right. The Q & A went by in a blur. Matt slipped into old habits and flirted with Alex the whole way through, much to the delight of the fans. Poor Mark said he felt like a third-wheel. After the Q & A they signed autographs and the laughing and flirting continued true to form. Every so often his glance would slide over to her to try and catch her when she wasn't looking. She seemed happy to be there and so classy when it came to spending time with her fans. Something swelled in his chest as he watched her interact with others with such genuine warmth —it was how she was with everyone, including him. He leaned over to her as they waited for the line to move along and said quietly, "I'm sorry I didn't

call you after... I was going to, but the last couple of weeks have been a mare. They've been working us to death. This actually feels like a holiday." She kept her eyes focused ahead of her as the corners of her lips curled into a tiny smirk. "You did text me once." "Bugger. You got that did you?" "Alex, I love your tits?" "Sorry. I was a bit arseholed at the time—went out with the crew after work and they kept feeding me shots. It still stands, though." Her glance flicked briefly to his crotch. "Does it, now?" Matt sputtered, but was forced to keep his composure as the next group of fans were funnelled through to them. "I'll get you for that, Kingston," he muttered as he scrawled his name across a glossy photo. He jumped a little when he felt her hand on his knee. "Maybe later, darling." The organizers let them loose for lunch and he convinced Judy he could be trusted to leave the hotel on his own and return at the required time for photographs. He'd been making plans to drag Alex out with him and find somewhere secluded where they could up the flirting ante in private, but when he'd finally charmed Judy into giving her permission, Alex had already vanished. Matt pouted at being thwarted. He kicked at the carpet with his shoe as he tried to readjust the plans brewing in his head. He wasn't entirely sure what the endgame was, but the woman had practically suggested a repeat of their last encounter with her teasing comments. The more he thought about it, the more he realised he really wouldn't mind a repeat if Alex was up for it. Maybe he'd seduce her over dinner then take her back to his hotel room and shag her blind. See how she liked it. He grinned to himself and was interrupted by someone clearing their throat next to him. "Hi Matthew. Are you heading out for lunch?" It was Mark Sheppard. Matt shrugged. "Nah. I think I'll just go back to the green room. They've got a ton of tiny egg and cress sarmies there." Mark nodded. "How's it been going, anyway?" "Yeah. Good. Good, and you?" "You know how it goes." "Yeah." "Hey," Mark said, "Wanted to ask you, is something up with Alex?" Matt frowned. "What do you mean?" "I don't know. She just seemed a bit, you know, off today. She's a real professional, so I'm sure

she wouldn't let on if there was anything wrong, but I just kind of sensed that maybe not everything was right." Matt felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He swallowed and shook his head. "No. Um. I mean I'm sure there's nothing." The other man shrugged. "Yeah, you're probably right. If anyone would know it would be you. See you around, mate." "Right. Cheers then." Matt ran a hand through his hair. Christ. He'd been so focused on himself today he never even thought that Alex might be... What? God knew. She seemed fine to him—she acted like nothing was wrong between them—but what if Mark had picked up on something he had been blind to. Wouldn't be the first time he'd been oblivious to how someone was really feeling. Matt let out a groan as he walked back to the green room. Now he would have to figure out what was really going on before he seduced her back into his bed. Except Alex wasn't scheduled to do photographs after lunch and he was stuck having to pose with grinning fans while his mind raced along with all the possibilities. By the time they were done with the day, he'd wheedled out of Judy the knowledge that Alex had been put up in the same hotel as him. With some masterful googling on his iphone, he'd selected a decent restaurant and made reservations for them. Now all he had to do was convince her to join him. He caught a taxi back to the hotel and took a whole ten minutes to shower, change his clothes and run his fingers artfully through his hair. Within fifteen minutes, he was knocking on her door. There was no answer. Shite. Matt smacked himself in the head. What if she'd already made other plans? It's not like he'd consulted her about his own—not even a quick text to confirm that she was free for the evening. His frustration after not seeing her all afternoon was mounting. He was about to walk away when he knocked loudly one more time, just in case. "Hold on, I'm coming." Oh, thank Christ—she was in. Matt couldn't help grinning like an idiot. "Hurry up, Kingston," he called, "I'm getting old out here." The door opened. "Yes, all right. I was in the shower." She was wearing a fuzzy bathrobe and towelling her wet hair. He pouted. "And all this time I could have been in there with you." Alex rolled her eyes. "Don't push your luck, boy. Now, what do you want?" The rolling nervousness he'd felt this morning crashed back down on him. Mark had been right— there was something wrong, and he'd been a total idiot to miss it. "Look, it's nothing really. I just wanted to... What I mean is, I thought that..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, Alex, I'm

really sorry about not calling when I really should have and I've probably ballsed it all up and that's so typical of me because I totally and completely suck at this, all of this, and, Christ, now I'm rambling on and not letting you speak and—" "Darling, stop. I thought you'd already apologised this morning." "Well... Yeah..." She cocked her head. "Then what's the problem?" "I just... I just need to know that everything's all right. Between us." "Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?" "I don't know. I just thought that—" "That's your problem, Matthew. You think too much." She smiled at him and reached up to pat him on the cheek. But there was something wrong because her smile didn't reach her eyes. And come to think of it, there were dark patches under them, like she had not been getting enough sleep, and she looked a little pale. He was going to have to dig a little deeper to get to the bottom of it. But as of right now, all plans for seduction flew out of the window. All he really wanted to do was solve whatever it was that was causing her to fake her smile. "Then let me make it up to you. Let me take you out to dinner," he said. "That's very sweet of you. But, to be honest, I'm truly knackered after today. I was going to order room service and watch some telly. Just want to relax a little." "Oh. Right. I see." He couldn't help the touch of disappointment that came through in his voice. "I'll leave you to it, then. Let me know if you need anything." She considered him for a moment. "You could always join me. If you want. I suppose I could use the company." Matt felt a rush of pleasure at her invitation. "Are you sure? Because I wouldn't want to intrude or anything." Alex snorted. "Come on in, then. Before I change my mind. You can look over the menu while I finish up in the bathroom." Matt resisted the urge to punch the air and followed Alex into her room. When he saw her expansive suite with its king-sized bed and separate seating area with a large comfy sofa, he sputtered. "Yours is bigger than mine, Kingston. I thought I was the lead!" He heard her laugh as she disappeared into the en suite bathroom. Finding the hotel guide, he looked over the menu quickly, then snapped it shut. "What are you having? I'll call down for our dinner." "I'll have the salmon," he heard her say, "thank you, darling." By the time he'd placed the order, kicked his shoes off and made himself comfortable on the sofa, and flicked through the channels on the hotel telly, he'd managed to convince himself that he could do this, he could be a friend to her. They'd have a nice, quiet evening, and maybe he could

get to the bottom of whatever it was that was bothering her. He could be there for her like she'd been for him when he was feeling out of sorts. He flushed. Well, maybe not exactly like she'd been for him. That probably wasn't what she needed at the moment. The thing that kept niggling at him, even though she'd said they were all right, was that maybe it was him who'd caused the problem in the first place. Somehow, that thought produced a tight pain under his breastbone. "Found anything decent to watch?" Matt looked up to find Alex looking relaxed and comfortable in a pair of cotton pyjamas. All thought of anything flew out of his head, because she was braless under her top and the thin cotton stretched a little over the natural swell of her breasts, and pulled taut under the strain of her nipples. His mouth went completely dry. "Matthew. Eyes up here, darling." He blinked. "What? Oh god, sorry." Dragging his gaze away from her chest, he looked up at her smirking face. "Well, what do you expect when you're wearing something as indecent as... as that!" She laughed. "These old PJs? God, what is wrong with you, Smith. Now, budge up. I'm in desperate need to put my feet up." "It has been a long day, hasn't it?" He shifted over so Alex could sit with room to tuck her feet up underneath her. "You know what it's like. You keep on going because you have to, and when you finally get some time to relax, your body just gives out on you." She narrowed her eyes at him. "But you probably don't know what it's like. They run you ragged and you still have the energy to have a social life. God, what I wouldn't give to be young again." "You know what they say: you're only as young as the man you feel." "What, are you offering up your services?" Stretching back, he put his hands behind his head. "Go ahead. Feel me up all you like. It might take a while to work—you're pretty ancient." He ducked as she threw a cushion at him. "You're such a bastard." Matt chuckled. "Absolutely. Wink if it doesn't turn you on." Alex leaned forward and gave him an exaggerated wink, but he could see the crinkles around her eyes and how her shoulders dropped just a little. She was starting to relax. Matt breathed out and smiled. He felt a little lightness inside himself just knowing she able to be comfortable in his company. Room service arrived with their dinner and Matt easily beat Alex to the door. He tipped the porter

out of the cash in his wallet and wheeled in the trolley by himself. Alex came over and breathed in the aroma of the food as he pulled the tops off the dishes. She spied the ice bucket on the tray and raised her eyebrow. "Champagne, Matthew? Is that really necessary?" "Don't worry," he said with a grin, "I charged it to your room. Now go and sit. I'll bring it over to you." He popped the cork on the champagne and brought a flute over to Alex. With a deep bow, he showed her the bottle and said, "Does this meet with madame's approval?" "Why yes, garçon , I think it does." He poured a third in her glass, waited for the bubbles to disintegrate, then topped it up. Next he manoeuvred the coffee table closer and brought over her dinner. "Your grilled salmon, madame." Alex giggled. "I could get used to this." "Don't push your luck, Kingston." He grabbed his own glass and dinner and plunked down beside her. Holding up his glass, he said, "I propose a toast." "To what?" "To River and the Doctor. Without them, we would never have been friends." He saw her face soften and her eyes crinkle as she smiled. Her first true smile all day. "That's very sweet." She clinked her glass to his and he held her eyes as they both sipped. They ate and chatted and relaxed in each other's company. Alex picked at her salmon until Matt grudgingly offered her a taste of his fettuccine. She made such a noise of pleasure at his dish, that he gave up and traded with her. He ate her salmon while she polished off his pasta, and then he teased her with a slice of chocolate torte. When they were done, he cleared up and left the trolley outside for the porter to pick up. Then they sat together on the couch, Alex nestled into his side, and snarked about the inane sitcom they were watching on the telly. After a comfortable silence, Alex said, "I really want to thank you. For this. It has been such an unexpected pleasure to just, you know, sit and be, for once. Not have to worry about anything." "Me too," he said, feeling a little sleepy after the meal and the alcohol, and with the warm armful of woman pressed against his side. "I like being with you." "It's hard, you know. Too many things, sometimes. And I am so high-strung." "You? Nah. You make it all look so effortless." "I am an actress. We tend to hide ourselves well, even from those we care about. But with you..." "You can be yourself. Yeah, I know what you mean." He turned and put his hands on her shoulders and began to gently work at the tension in her muscles there. "This is comfortable. There are no expectations."

"Mmm." Her head dropped. Matt pushed aside the mass of curls and rubbed circles up and down her neck. "You can do that all night if you like, darling." He continued to massage her neck and shoulders while she hummed in approval. Then, on a whim, with no preconceived thought, he bent and kissed the back of her neck. His lips vibrated as a shudder ran through her. He kissed his way up to the spot beneath her ear, then flicked his tongue out to touch her lobe. Alex jumped. She twisted in his grasp and the next thing he knew, she was kissing him fiercely. Her tongue forced his mouth open under hers and he bit back a moan at the taste of her. Until now, he hadn't realised how much he had wanted her, but now he was flushed with need. When she parted from him for air, she was already straddling his lap and grinding into him. "Christ, Alex," he said, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, "you kill me." "And you've been a tease all night." She thrust into him again and he groaned at the sensation it produced in his groin. Alex claimed his mouth again, and their tongues tangled together. She arched into him, and he could feel the warmth building between them, ready to blaze at any moment. Was it always going to be this needy, urgent thing between them? She yanked his shirt out of his trousers and fought with it to get her hands on his stomach. But he grabbed her by the wrists and held her back. Using his tongue to speak for him without words, he calmed her frantic mouth one slow lick at a time. Gradually their kiss turned deep and languid. Her hands stilled in his. He shifted to the edge of the sofa, and wrapping his arms under her, he lifted her up and walked over to the bed. Laying her down, he crawled up over her and started to nuzzle at her neck. Alex shifted and arched, a groan escaping her. "Damn it, Matthew, what are you doing?" "Shhh, love," he said into her ear, "let me take care of you, all right? Just relax." She nodded, then whimpered as he suckled on her earlobe. He worked his way down her neck and sucked lightly on the little dip between her collar bones. He wanted to take his time, even though his cock was hard and uncomfortable in his jeans. He wanted to taste all of her. Matt worked at the buttons of her shirt, popping them open one by one and letting his mouth touch every part of her that was revealed. When he pulled her shirt wide to reveal her breasts, he sucked in a breath at how perfect she was. They were full but natural, with the weight of a mature woman, and her dusk-tipped peaks invited him to descend on them and pull them into his mouth. He tongued her one tip, sucking it until she cried out, then he moved to the other one and repeated. Christ, he would worship her tits all night if she'd let him. He reduced her to inarticulate whimpers just with his treatment of her breasts, but he wasn't done, yet. "Lift your hips, love," he said, and when she obliged, he dragged her bottoms down, exposing the creamy smoothness of her thighs and her succulent quim. Gently nudging her thighs apart, he

settled between her legs and set to work. He teased her folds open then licked her slowly from bottom to top. He continued to lick in slow, steady movements, winding her up another notch with each pass. He stopped for a second, to grab a pillow, and urged her to lift her hips again. Putting the pillow under her, he helped her to put her legs up and open her up even more to him. "Relax for me," he said into her thigh. He dipped and swirled one finger into her then ran it up to press on her clit. Then he dragged his tongue from her opening down to her second opening, that tight little ring of flesh. Matt swirled around her anus with his tongue, hardly daring to believe she was letting him, but the way she was thrashing her head back and forth, he knew she liked it. He dipped his finger back into her, getting it nice and wet, then he replaced his tongue with it. While he sucked long and hard on her clit, he gently eased his finger past the tight muscle of her anus, just to up to his top knuckle. Alex gasped above him at the intrusion, but he worked her gently, using her clit as a distraction. And suddenly her muscles relaxed. He used his other hand to press two more fingers into her vaginal opening, and began to stroke her slowly but firmly in all three places. It took just a minute until her walls clamped him like a vice and then she began with a low keen, finally yelling his name as her orgasm thundered over her. He rode it out with her, with his face pressed against her thigh and her walls pulsing around his fingers, and his own laboured breathing. He slipped his hands out of her and stood to quickly discard his t-shirt and jeans. He fished out the condom from his back pocket, and after ripping open the package, slid it onto his cock with shaking hands. Alex was splayed out on the bed, still panting, her eyes watching him with languid heat. He settled between her legs, his cock at her entrance, then with one push, slid all the way down inside her. The sensation of her around him, and how she was laid out beneath him all flushed and sated, was almost too much to bear. He screwed his eyes shut trying to contain the sudden emotion that threatened to undo him. "It's all right, darling," he heard her say, her voice low and husky. "I've got you. Let it go, baby. Let it go." Matt focused with every ounce that was in him and made himself move. He thrust into her in long, smooth strokes until the pressure in his balls was too much, and he let out a loud cry as he came. He collapsed on top of her with the force of it, while his cock pulsed inside her. Her hands on his back moved in slow circles and she was whispering comforting things into his ear. It wasn't until he heard her say, "there, there, darling, you're all right," that he realised he was crying.

Chapter 3

Artificially cool air across his bare skin and a light shining in his eyes from somewhere brought him out of sleep. Matt rolled over to seek out the woman lying next to him for warmth, but he ended up rolling to the other side of the bed and jerking fully awake to keep himself from falling off. He blinked at the light that intruded into his field of vision and realised that someone, somewhere, was talking. Slowly, the half-dark room came into focus. He was in a hotel room. Alex's hotel room, to be specific. Alex's bed in Alex's hotel room to be even more specific, and he'd fallen asleep there after they'd… shagged? Made love? He didn't really want to define it, just yet. Not at —his eyes scanned the alarm clock on the bedside table—Christ, four o’clock in the bloody morning. Matt groaned. The light that was bothering him came from the en-suite bathroom where the door was cracked. He could hear Alex's voice drift out from the bathroom as she spoke in hushed tones. She must have been talking to someone on her mobile. He frowned as he strained to listen, but she was speaking too softly for him to hear. Who'd she be talking to at such a god-forsaken time of the morning? Matt was about to roll over and try to hunt for sleep once more when he caught the tense strains of her voice. She was talking softly, probably so as not to wake him, but there was a panic underneath that he'd missed before. He was fully alert now, any remnants of sleep dashed away. Matt swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and waited. It wasn't long before Alex walked out of the bathroom, completely naked, with her mobile in hand. All he could see was how milk-white her face was in the fluorescent glow of the bathroom light. "Alex, what's going on?" His voice cracked, still rough with sleep. "I'm sorry," she said, panic in her tone. "I didn't mean to wake you." "Something's wrong. What's wrong?" Alex brought her fist up to her mouth. "Oh god, Matt. It's my mum. They had to rush her to hospital. It's all my fault." She shook. Matt was over to her in an instant. He pulled her hands into his own and tried to smooth away her trembling. "What happened?" "She... she hasn't been well. She's been having these fainting spells, and I tried to get her to see a doctor about them, but she's so bloody stubborn. But I should have forced her to. I've been so worried about it. She said it was nothing. I shouldn't have let her have her own way." She shook her head as her eyes began to fill. "Thank god she was with Jenny. She was staying with her and the kids in London while Ed was away. Mum tried to get up to go to the loo and passed out. She fell really badly. Jenny had to call for the ambulance—they think she broke her hip."

"Do you know where they're taking her?" Alex told him the name of the hospital. "I don't know what to do. My sister said to wait until they know more. But I can't just sit here." Matt shook his head. "No, of course not. Come on, get dressed, love. Go brush your teeth and wash your face. I'll work something out." He chafed her cold hands between his own and Alex nodded. She moved stiffly to pull some clothes out of the cupboard, then returned to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and leaving him in darkness. Heart pounding, Matt quickly dragged on his clothes from the night before. Then he flicked on a light and flipped through the hotel guide before he started to ring up taxi companies in the area. By the time Alex had finished in the bathroom, he'd managed to figure things out. "Here," he said as he handed her a smaller bag of hers in which he'd packed a few things. "Make sure that's everything you'll need for now." "What about the rest of my stuff?" She said as she rummaged through the bag. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." "I'll just grab some of my toiletries, but I think that's all." With the way she was biting the inside of her cheek he could tell that she was barely holding it together. He put her hands on her shoulders and squeezed gently. "Alex, look at me. Your mum's going to be fine. I'm sure she's a tough bird—she must be to have produced you—so a little fall is not going to keep her down, all right?" Alex gave him a weak smile. "Yeah I know... It's just..." She sighed. "My mum really wanted me to spend this weekend with her and Jenny. But I already had this commitment, and I was looking forward to... well, I said I couldn't cancel, but I should have. I should have been there for her." He rubbed circles into her shoulders. "You will be in a few hours." His phone buzzed and he glanced at the message on the screen. "Taxi's waiting. Go grab the rest of your things." He saw Alex off on the steps of the hotel. She had a brief moment of panic when she realised he'd commissioned the taxi to take her all the way to London, rather than to the train station. "That'll cost a fortune!" "Taken care of, Kingston, now stop arguing with me and go and be with your mum." "Shit! I forgot about the convention. I'll need to contact my manager—" "Again, I'll sort it. Now go." She held his eyes for a brief moment, then wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his chest. "Thank you, darling." "Sleep on the way there, if you can. They'll take good care of her, Alex."

He briefly clutched at her hair, then let her go. There was a tightness under his chest, a knot of worry for her. She slipped out of his arms and into the waiting car, and then she was gone. Matt blinked as he looked up at the early morning sky just starting to fade from black to blue. With hands in his pockets, he slouched back inside the hotel, wondering if he should try to chase a couple of hours sleep before his day began in earnest. When he crawled back into bed and curled around a pillow, he could smell her scent on it, and he had to laugh at himself because without thinking, he'd returned to Alex's room, and not his own. The rest of the weekend went by in a blur. He could barely concentrate on the convention and the fans; all he could think about was Alex and how she was coping with her mother. He'd received a couple texts from her explaining the situation—her mum would be okay, but had definitely broke her hip and had a bit of a knock on the head. Matt was desperate to find out how Alex herself was holding up, but her messages were always short and informational, but not excessively personal. He didn't know why it should bother him, especially when he knew what type of pressure she was currently under, but it did. "Mr. Smith," A young woman was up at the microphone to ask her question, "how does it feel now that she's gone?" He started. "Excuse me?" "For the Doctor, how does it feel now Amy is gone?" Rubbing his face, Matt tried to settle his beating heart. He needed to get a hold of himself. With a conscious effort, he forced his thoughts away from Alex to answer the fan's question. The return to Cardiff that evening did nothing to help, and Matt felt as if he was slipping back into melancholy. With every mile travelled, the creeping sense that he was headed in entirely the wrong direction began to fill him. He had this itching compulsion to stop the driver and tell him to turn around and take him to London. Instead he slouched further down into the seat and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest. His flat was empty and cold. He threw his bags on the floor and headed for the cabinet where he kept his booze. Pulling out the whiskey, he poured a generous measure into a glass and, taking the bottle with him, flopped onto the sofa. As soon as he sprawled out, trying to get comfortable, a flood of memories came back—of Alex above him in this exact spot, her tits bouncing as she slid up and down his cock. God it had been perfect. She fit him like a puzzle piece, allowing his entire length to fill her, and the dusky rose of her peaked nipples were the ultimate temptation, urging him to suck them into his mouth and feed on her. And there was that look on her face, her eyes grown dark, her cheeks pink with exertion, a light sheen of perspiration on her skin and her bottom lip like a ripe plum caught between her teeth. Matt groaned at the heaviness in his groin and the sudden aching hardness of his cock. With a gulp of his drink, the fiery smooth liquor coating the back of this throat, Matt set down his glass and unzipped his denims. He lifted his hips to push his denims and his pants down to his knees, then settled back with a sigh, his cock grasped firmly in his hand. Focusing on the image of Alex in his head, he began to stroke himself. He imagined her beautiful quim tight around him where his hand was. She could fuck him slow or fast, gentle or rough, it

wouldn't matter, as long as it was her. She might have ruined him for any other woman, because Christ, he'd never, in his nearly thirty years on the planet, experienced anything like her before. She was a bloody revelation. It didn't take him long, as he knew it wouldn't, until he was spurting jets into the air and coming all over his fingers. Matt surrendered to his orgasm, her name falling from his lips. The moment of quiet ecstasy was fleeting. He uncurled his hand from his flaccid cock and wiped it on the front of his shirt. Matt fell back with a sigh. He covered his eyes with his elbow. The ring of his mobile echoed harshly around him, making him jump. He struggled a bit to pull it out of his pocket as his denims were still bunched around his knees, and when he saw Alex's name on the screen, the thing slipped out of his hands and clattered to the floor. Matt scooped it up and clicked to answer. "Shit! Sorry. Hello?" "Matt?" "God. Sorry Alex. Dropped the bloody phone." He heard her dry chuckle and suddenly he was lit up on the inside. "Typical. I assume you're back home?" "What? Oh, yes. Got back about twenty minutes ago. Bloody knackered I am." "I'm sure you are darling, those things can be tiring. Anyway, I just wanted to call and say thank you for taking care of everything this morning." "Of course. I mean, absolutely. Would have done it for anybody. How's your mum?" "In a lot of pain, and cranky as hell, as you can imagine. She's scheduled to be operated on tomorrow. Total hip replacement." "Oh god, I'm sorry." He ran his hand through his hair. "I mean, that's got to be rough on her." "She really is a tough old bird. She'll do fine. I'm more worried about the physiotherapists who'll have to put up with her afterwards when she's going through recovery. She's already flirting with the male staff." "So it's a genetic trait, is it? The big flirt gene?" "Oh, shut up, Matthew," she said, and there it was, the teasing note he'd been longing to hear. "If you were here, I bet you could make me." She laughed. "Darling, I could make you shut up now, if I wanted to, except I'm in the middle of a hospital cafeteria and I'm trying to snag a desperately needed cup of tea." Matt felt a wave of guilt. He'd ignored the roughness of her voice and the strain of exhaustion that ran through it when he was just so bloody pleased that she'd called him. "You shouldn't be wasting your time speaking to silly old me. Are you going to get a chance to get some rest?" "My sisters are both here, so we're taking turns sitting with her. They've got their families to think

about, though, so I'm trying to field the brunt of it." "What about..." He swallowed, unsure if he should probe her on personal matters, but he blundered on ahead, anyway. "What about your daughter?" Alex sighed, and there was a world of hurt in the sound that he knew was a whole history of missing her child, something he'd never truly understand, he supposed, until he was a parent himself. "I've spoken to her, of course. She was upset, but she knows her gran will be okay. I think she just wishes she was here. So do I." "I don't think I ever realised how hard it must be for you. You know, to be so far away from your daughter." "It's not easy," she said, her voice gone quiet. "Sometimes I wish..." "What do you wish, Alex?" "I wish my last marriage had worked. Then I wouldn't be forced into this situation." Matt hesitated a beat, then the words spilled from him before he could pull them back. "Do you still love him?" "Lord, no. That ship was sunk a long time ago. Possibly before it even set sail. I can't even blame him, you know, because I think I was the one who manipulated him—I was so, so heartsick, so desperate for a family... And he just happened to come along and he was perfect husband material. It's just a pity we never truly loved each other." "I'm sure that's not the case. There must have been something there from the start, right?" "Have you ever been in love?" The question floored him. He tried to speak, but words would not come. But he hadn't, of course he hadn't ever been in love. He'd always had to ask himself, 'am I in love?' and they all say if you have to ask yourself, then you aren't. "Because I have been. I know what love feels like, how it tastes. God, I knew it, Matt, I knew I didn't love Florian, but I married him anyway. Was that so wrong of me?" "Maybe." He was finally able to find his voice over the tightness in throat. "Maybe not. I mean, love can grow, can't it?" "For some, maybe. Not for me. For me it's always all or nothing." "I think... I think for me, too." He swallowed. "I don't know." "One day you will, darling. We're a lot alike, you and I. One day the right girl will walk into your life and you'll be dragged completely under before you even know it's happened." He laughed, and it sounded shrill in his ears. "God, sounds bloody painful, if you ask me. Not sure I want it." "It is. I'm sorry to say it, especially if the person you love doesn't love you back. Only one thing that I know of hurts more than that."

"What's that?" "Being separated from your child." His heart clenched. "God, Alex..." He heard her sniff. "Sorry, I think it's lack of sleep—I'm being far too maudlin tonight. I shouldn't be dumping all this baggage on you." "I have broad shoulders, love. I can bear it." He was aching to put his arms around her and simply soothe her. Except he was stuck miles away from her and he couldn't use words to tell her how much he wished he could take on all her heartache. He didn't know why, but it cut him to the quick to hear how broken she was. "You're too sweet, Matt. You really are. Thank you for being such a good friend to me. Sometimes I..." She paused, and he waited as she gathered her thoughts. "Truthfully? I feel I may have taken advantage of you just a bit." "Taken advantage...? Christ, you mean because we... um..." Her voice dropped low. "I shagged you. Twice." A giggle escaped him. "Alex, do you honestly think I wasn't a full and willing participant?" "Well, you certainly appeared willing, darling. But I'm old enough to be your—" "You're gorgeous," he said, cutting her off. "Any man would be a fucking moron to turn you down, Ms. Kingston." What he didn't say was that he'd always thought she was stunning, and that he was currently sitting half-naked and his groin cold and sticky because he'd just had a wank thinking about her. "Well. Thank you." She laughed again, and this time he heard her tension ease. "You're not so bad yourself." "Actually, I probably shouldn't be thanking you, because now I've had to set the bar impossibly high for any other woman. I'm going to die lonely and unloved because no one else could ever be as good as you." "You may have to lower your standards." "Never." He grinned. It was always their way, this back and forth banter that was so easy to slip into with her. She was so easy to be with. "That's what they all say," she said with a mock sigh. "But really, and this is probably quite silly of me, but I don't want you to think of me as the sort of woman who just, you know, drops her knickers for any man who breathes in her direction. I wouldn't want you to think that." "I don't," he said, quickly. "I would never think that of you, Alex." "Good, because I'm not like that. It just... With you it just felt..." "Right. It felt right."

He heard her drag in a breath and wondered for a moment if she was affected in the same way that he was. But he shook his head at his absurd thought. "Yes," she said. "It felt right. And I don't want it to be this... thing... that gets in the way of our friendship, because I truly value that. I don't want it to be awkward between us." "No. Never. I promise." And he hoped to god he could keep that promise. "Thank you, Matt. For everything, really." "Of course. If you need anything..." "I'm fine, now. And I really should get going. I was supposed to be back upstairs five minutes ago. But I'm really glad I got a chance to talk to you." "Yeah. Yeah, me too." He tugged at his hair and hoped she couldn't hear the flatness to his voice, because something had changed, he didn't know what, yet, but he was afraid it was going to screw everything up. Alex hung up with a good bye. He'd been praying for a 'talk to you soon'. The next week he was back at work, and apart from a couple of short texts, he hadn't spoken to Alex at all. Every morning, however, he woke up hard and aching for her with fleeting visions of her soft curves undulating above him, or writing beneath him. By Friday, his patience was starting to wear thin. They were on break, filming at the new studios, and Matt leaned against a wall and contemplated his phone. Would it be going too far to call her? He could ask how her mum was doing, but by her last brief message, it looked like everything was going well and there would be nothing more to say on the subject. He really just needed to hear her voice, and it was becoming more and more apparent each day that she'd become this drug he couldn't do without, but each time he made the decision to press her number, he came up with all sorts of reasons why she didn't need him to complicate things for her. "If you stare at it any longer, you're going to burn a hole in the damn thing." Matt looked up from his screen with a jerk. "What?" "Your mobile. You've been clutching it and looking at it for the last half hour as if it holds the answer to life, the universe and everything." Jenna sidled next to him, a Starbucks concoction in her hand. She was addicted to the things, he hardly ever saw her without one, and Matt wondered if she might have a small barista tucked into her pocket. He grimaced at her. "Trying to decide if I should call someone or not." "Boy or girl?" "Neither. Woman," he said with emphasis. "Right. So—shagged or not?" "Um..." He flushed. Jenna nodded. "Definitely shagged. So the next question is... was she a good shag?"

He flushed even more and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not sure that's any—" "Oh, I see. A really good shag, then. Do you like her?" "Well, of course I like her, she's—" He almost said 'she's Alex' but he bit it back at the last second. "She's a friend. She's special, y'know. Gorgeous, too" "A special, gorgeous friend. Who you shagged. You really are in trouble aren't you?" He hung his head. "You have no idea." Jenna's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god. It's Karen Gillan, isn't it? Please tell me it's not her. Oh god, if it is, you're such a pillock!" "Wait a minute. It's not Kaz. Christ, what would give you that idea?" "Special, gorgeous... friend." "Yeah well, it's not her. I would never... not Kaz, for god's sake." Jenna bit her lip and tilted her head back against the wall. "God, I would." "You...?" Matt raised an eyebrow. "I thought you had a boyfriend." "Yeah, well, he wouldn't mind, either." Jenna winked at him. Matt held up a hand. "Not any of my business. Honestly." "So, this lady friend. You shagged her once, because... either you were drunk, or lonely, or horny, or whatever, but you did it. Now you regret it and you're wondering if you should call her to smooth it over, or wait for her to call you, or just let it go and hope she does the same. Does that sound about right?" "Well..." Matt scraped his hand through his hair. "Not quite. See, it was twice. And actually, I don't really regret it." His lips twitched at the memory. "Christ, no." Jenna's eyes grew wide. "Oh. Oh... Oh! Now I totally get it. You've fallen for her, haven't you?" Matt shook his head a little too vehemently but Jenna continued on, "You've fallen for her, but you think she still sees you as a friend. That she might be the one who regrets it. So you don't want to call, because she might tell you to bugger off." Matt huffed, blowing his fringe out of his eyes. "That's not how it is at all." "Do you think about her all the time?" "No. I..." Matt stopped. If he had to truly examine himself, he had to admit, that yes, in the last few days, he had thought about Alex rather a lot. Pretty much every waking moment. "Well, maybe. But that's because I was worried about her. She's been under a lot of pressure lately." "Do you dream about her?" Matt started to shake his head, but had to stop again. He coughed. "Maybe... A few times."

Jenna nodded, a smug look on her face. "I see. And would you do anything for her? I mean, like if she called up right now and told you you had to drop everything, no questions, and go meet her, would you? You're in the middle of filming—would you walk off set?" "No... I..." Matt stared at her, a horrible feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach. He looked at his phone almost as if it was about to ring and Alex would miraculously show up on his display. "No, of course not. Not without good reason, anyway." "You're lying." Jenna took a swig of her Starbucks. "I can tell because you've got this look on your face that says you'd give up a body part if she called you right now." He looked from Jenna to his phone and back. If Alex really did ask him to just walk off the set and go see her, with no reason given, would he do it? No, he wouldn't walk. He'd bloody well run. He swallowed. "Fuck." "Yep," Jenna said. "Shit." "Uh huh. You're really in trouble, aren't you?" He dragged a hand through his hair. "How the bloody hell did I not know? I mean, this is important, don't you think? Like pretty much one of the most important things to know. How did I not know?" Jenna shrugged. "You're a bloke. Sometimes it takes a swift kick in the arse to get you to realise things." He thought of Alex and suddenly he was breathless. "It really is so obvious. I can't believe I missed it before." He broke into a grin. "I think... I think I'm bloody in love. Christ! And you—" He grasped Jenna by the shoulders and gave her a smack on the forehead. "—are a genius." Jenna laughed. "So, are you going to tell me who the lucky girl is?" "Woman. Who the lucky woman is. And no." Matt thought his face was going to split in two his grin was so wide. "I'll see you later." She yelped as Matt moved past her and strode off. Suddenly he was filled with a fizzing bubble of energy and his heart was fit to float out of his chest. He was in love. Christ! In love with Alex. And he felt bloody amazing. Jenna called out after him. "Wait. Where are you going?" "To see her, of course." "Right now?" "Yeah, right now." "You can't just walk off set. Despite what I said, you really can't." Matt stopped. He turned back to look at Jenna with a grin. "Yeah. About that. You mind telling

them I'll be back later? Thanks." Because screw the consequences, but he was going to find her and bloody well kiss her until she admitted there was something between them.

Chapter 4 By the time he reached London, the long summer evening was descending towards dusk, and the first lights of the city cast a yellow glow over the busy streets. Matt fished for his phone and put it on speaker as he navigated his way through London. His initial euphoria had dimmed somewhat in the drive up from Cardiff and had now settled into a warmth tucked behind his heart. He hesitated for a fraction, and then grinned as he pressed the button to dial Alex's number. It was now or never. "Hello," he heard her voice and felt his chest squeeze. "Alex, hi. It's Matt." "Yes, I know darling. What's going on?" "Nothing. I mean, not nothing, but... well... where are you right now?" "I've just come back from visiting my mum. Why?" His grin spread. "Oh. Good. No reason. Everything going well, then? With your mum, that is?" "She's driving everyone, including me, up the bloody wall. But, yes, other than that, she's doing well. They'll discharge her tomorrow, if everything remains good." "That's good. That's wonderful. So... What about you? How are you holding up?" "Oh, you know," he could hear the fatigue in her voice, "I'll get by. It's been a long week. I am glad I was here, though—it would really have been difficult if I had been Stateside." "You probably walked in and took care of everyone and everything without thinking of yourself, if I know you. They're lucky you were there." Alex laughed. "Now if you could go and tell them that, then I'd be sorted. They always complain that I'm far too bossy." "You, bossy? Never! Maybe a little dictatorial, but only very, very slightly. Minutely. In fact, I hardly notice it when you order me around on set." "That's because you love being lorded over, darling." He chuckled. If Alex was bossy, it was in such a warm and enticing way, that you didn't realise you were fetching her tea or massaging her neck until you were halfway through, and by that time, you'd gained just as much pleasure in the giving as she did in the receiving. Or was it was just him who felt like that? "Maybe I do," he said. "So what are you up to, then?" She stifled a yawn on the other side of the phone. "Oh, you know. This and that. We just wrapped filming," he coughed to cover the lie, "I might go home and put my feet up, read a book or something." "That's very tame of you on a Friday evening, Matthew." "Ha! That's because Kazza's no longer around to drag me out clubbing. I miss her, dearly, but

Christ I don't miss that. What about you?" "God, I'm just looking forward to a glass of wine and falling asleep in front of the telly." "Wouldn't you prefer some company?" "Only if it's you, darling. Everyone else can bugger off and leave me alone." The warmth in his chest threatened to bubble over at Alex's sultry tone. She was always such a tease, but now that he knew how he truly felt about her, he could no longer respond lightly, as if it was just a game. "Listen, Alex, I have to go, okay?" "Anything the matter?" "Not at all, just something I have to take care of." He smiled at the hint of disappointment in her voice. "Speak to you later, yeah? "Of course, I'm going to hold you to that, darling. You really should call me more often." He bit back a giggle as he swung his car down into the parking garage and stopped to grab a ticket from the entrance. "There are other things I'd rather you hold me to. Like yourself, for instance." "Oh, shut up!" "Good bye, Alex," he said as he parked the car and turned off the engine. "Bye bye, darling." He hung up his phone and tucked it into the pocket of his trousers, then combed his fingers through his hair as he looked in his rear-view mirror. Show time, Matty. Grabbing the flowers he'd bought at the last second when he'd put petrol in his car, he made his way from the parking garage into the hotel where Alex rented a long-stay room whenever she was in town. The inside of the hotel was sleek and modern, but with touches of the nature and the outdoors that Alex loved. A cheery fountain bubbling over river rocks in the lobby was a welcome contrast to the shiny black tile of the floor. He knew her exact room number from when he'd had to arrange to have her things sent back to her from the convention. A passing hotel worker pointed him in the right direction and he found his way to apartment 203. Matt drew in a deep breath, but mostly he tried not to think about the consequences of what he was doing. If he let his brain in on the conversation, he'd be paralyzed. As it was, he was having a hard time raising his hand. But, eventually he managed and for the second time in a week, he found himself knocking on Alex's door. "Who is it?" "Company," he said, wincing at the roughness to his voice. He heard her hurried steps and then the door was flung wide. Alex stood there, eyes wide and mouth parted. "Oh my god! Matthew!" "Hello." His lips twitched, straining to contain his joy. "You were... I was..." She held up her phone. "I know. Oh, here—" He shoved the flowers, now looking a bit limp from the car ride, towards Alex. "Sorry, I just... I wanted to see you. You don't mind, do you?"

Alex. "Sorry, I just... I wanted to see you. You don't mind, do you?" "These are for me?" She reached to grasp the stems of the bouquet. "Actually, no. They're mine, but I'm severely allergic—nasty red bumps all over, you wouldn't believe—so I wondered if you could, um, house them for me?" She rolled her eyes but clutched the flowers to her chest. "God, you're awful. How did you know these were my favourite? I adore blue irises." Matt blinked. "Um..." "You didn't, did you?" "I can read minds?" He'd bought the flowers because he thought the colour would complement her eyes. When she glanced at him over the tips of the cerulean petals, he knew he had been right. "Can you tell what I'm thinking right now?" she said. "I don't need to be a mind reader for that." Heart racing, he stepped up to her, placed his hand on her jaw and tipped her face to his. Her eyes darkened a shade and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Then he bent and kissed her. Matt savoured her taste, milk tea with a note of peppermint chewing gum layered underneath. He wanted to show her exactly how he felt, with just his lips and tongue, so he took his time. He dragged his tongue across her bottom lip, and then gently sucked it into his mouth. He nibbled on it for a moment as he flicked his tongue inside her mouth to tease her. He wanted to worship her, taste her, sink softly into her. Alex, however, had plans of her own. She gripped the back of his head and pulled him hard against her as she thrust her tongue deep into his mouth. Matt swallowed a groan as the intensity of the kiss heightened. He pressed her backwards with the length of his body until she was flush against a wall, and then he angled his mouth to deepen the kiss. They clashed with tongues and lips and teeth until he felt raw and breathless and his cock ached. Suddenly, Matt found himself stumbling back as Alex shrieked. "Oh shit," he said, wiping his hand across his mouth. "Did I hurt you? Was I too... God. Sorry, I..." "Shut up, you idiot. You didn't hurt me. You were crushing my flowers." Alex held out the sorry looking bunch that had been caught between them. "See? Poor things didn't stand a chance." His eyes widened at the sight of the bruised and battered irises and the look of complete woe on Alex's face. He couldn't help chuckling, and when she pouted, he smiled at her. Gently, he eased the flowers from her grasp and took them to her kitchenette and the nearest rubbish bin. Alex gasped as he tossed them in the bin, but he said, "Love, I'll get you more flowers, if that's what you want. I'll fill this whole bloody room with flowers, but right now, I'm going to take you to bed," he stalked back towards her and Alex bit her lip in a way that made his stomach flip-flop, "and I'm going to take off all your clothes, and then I'm going to make love to you, because that's all I've been able to think about since I saw you last. I've been going mad." And she was finally in his arms again. She wound her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and eyes shone as she looked up at him. "I've missed you too, darling." As they kissed, clothes were shed en-route to the single bedroom attached to Alex's apartment. By the time she pushed him to the bed and straddled him, they were both naked and Matt could do

nothing but stare at the amazing woman above him. The lamp light slanting through the vertical blinds that covered the horizontal window marked her body in shadowy stripes and caught the highlights in her hair. Matt arched up as she gripped his erection in her hand, and then he felt the wetness of her cunt brush over his tip and he gasped. "Christ, whatever happened to foreplay?" His words came out strangled as she rubbed his tip against her clit and groaned her pleasure. "Fuck it," Alex said as she let out another groan. "Want you. I never thought... Matt..." She sank down onto him with a sigh and leaned forward, her tits brushing against his chest, and claimed his mouth. Matt could barely breathe, because this time it was completely different. Not just emotionally, not just because he knew what it was he felt for her, but physically, too. He was overwhelmed with her heat surrounding him, and as she began to move back and forth, the friction was exponentially greater than anything he'd experienced with her before. It was too hot, too tight, too good... And then he realised why. "Alex," he said with a groan. "Shit. No condom." "Mmmm, what?" She lifted her head from where she'd been mouthing kisses down his neck. "Forgot the bloody condom." She ground down on him. "Ah, hell." "Too late, sorry," she said between pants, "I don't care. Do you?" He shook his head. He couldn't think anymore. "You feel... Bloody marvellous. Don't stop, love." "No way in hell I'm going to stop." She ground down again. And again, and again. Matt surrendered to her and let her ride him. Each movement made him feel like he was about to explode. She was breath-taking. Her hair fell in loops and whorls around her shoulders, and as she arched back, her breasts jutted out at him, each one tipped with a hard, dusky nipple. He slid his hands up the perfect lines of her torso and reached for those peaks, tweaking them between thumb and forefinger. Then he slid one hand between their joined bodies to find her clit. She was slick and he rubbed his finger in circles around her in time to her thrusts up and down his length. A low guttural wail began in her throat and Matt could feel how impossibly tight she was around his cock. "Come for me, baby, please," he said. He gritted his teeth to hold on and resisted the urge to screw his eyes shut, because he wanted to record every single moment of Alex as she came. He didn't want to miss a thing. "Please tell me you're close. I need you to come. Let go, love, let go, ah fuck, fuck..." And he couldn't wait, anymore, it was too much. He cried out as he spurted inside her, every nerve, every sense overwhelmed with the explosion as he came. Alex was a second behind him. Her wail turned to a cry and he felt her walls throb around him even as his cock stuttered out the last of his seed. She was completely undone in her ecstasy, and after her last shudders rippled through her, Alex fell boneless on top of him. When he could finally command his breath, Matt inhaled the scent of her hair as his hand trailed down her back. "I think," he said, clearing his throat, "I think you're brilliant."

He heard her muffled laugh. "You're not so bad yourself, darling." "I think I'm in love with you." She stiffened. Matt wasn't sure if this was exactly how he had planned to tell her. He hadn't really had much of a plan. It was as good a time as any. "No. That's not true. I know it. Alex. I love you." Slowly she raised herself onto her elbows and when he saw the look on her face, Matt instantly wanted to swallow back the words. She looked horrified. But he couldn't. Because he couldn't lie about this, no matter what she thought, no matter how much it hurt. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I love you." "No. No, no no. You don't mean that." Alex ran a hand gently through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. "Please say you don't mean it." And then he felt the sharpness of the pain in his chest, and he wondered if he looked down, would he see the shaft of an arrow sticking out of it, or some other bloody, gaping wound. He didn't respond, he could only watch her shuttered expression, and it didn't matter that he was still lodged inside her, because she was a thousand miles away from him. "Oh, Matt. Sweetheart. Darling, you can't be. Infatuation, that's all it is." Alex shook her head. "It's my entire fault. God, I should never have... I thought you could be adult about this. That if we fucked a few times it wouldn't matter." Her words sliced through him, and suddenly he couldn't take it anymore. He gently pushed her off him and rolled to the edge of the bed. A shudder ran through him and he almost broke, but he swallowed it back down and steeled himself. He felt her hand on his back. "Matt, darling, please don't be upset. I do care about you, you're my friend. And now I'm afraid I've ruined all of that." "You haven't ruined anything," he said, and the words were wooden. He stood and began to hunt for his clothes. He found his briefs and his trousers and pulled them on quickly. He thought his shirt might be in the other room. Alex remained on the bed, watching him dress. He could hardly bear to look at her, let alone meet her eyes. "Please, let's just talk about this," she said. "There's nothing to talk about." He strode through to the other room and collected his shirt. Alex padded out behind him. "I need to know that we're all right. I can't have this affecting us. We work together, for god's sake." Matt found his jacket and slipped it on over his shirt. He stuffed his socks hurriedly into his pocket and wrenched his shoes on barefoot. "We're professionals. I'm sure we can manage." "Are you?" He bit the inside of his cheek and looked over at her. She stood with her hands on her hips, completely unashamed that she had not a stitch of clothing on. He could see the flush across her skin from her recent orgasm. Her expression was distraught, and he knew he'd hurt her in some way, but he couldn't understand how, when he was the one bleeding. And despite all of that, his

heart sped at the sight of her, and he wanted to drag her back into his arms and never let her go. Matt ran a hand through his hair. "Alex," he said roughly, "would you even consider the possibility that this might be real?" She shook her head. "No. I can't." "Why not?" "Because it's ridiculous. You and me?" She laughed, and there was a tremor in it. "It's impossible. You can't love me. We slept together a couple of times. That was all. How could you even think it could be anything more than that?" "Christ, Alex! What do you take me for?" He couldn't hold it back, anymore. "And it was three times. Three times. But that's beside the fucking point, because that's not why. It would have happened if you'd never even touched me. It might have taken longer to figure out, but I would have got there in the end, do you understand?" She flinched at the volume, but not at the content of his speech. "You don't love me, Matthew. You don't even know what that word means." He straightened his shoulders and looked down at her. "You're right. Maybe I don't know what it means. But I think I'm about to figure it out." Matt turned and walked towards the door. "Thanks for the shag, Alex. I'll see you at work in a couple of weeks." He slipped out of her apartment even as she was calling for him to stop. He strode back to the hotel parking garage, back to his car. Back to Cardiff.

Chapter 5 Matt woke up with a start. He was shivering and... a bit damp? He lifted his head from where he was lying face down and rolled over. Light sliced through his eyeballs and he quickly covered his face with his arm. There appeared to be two small armies fighting a gory battle inside his skull. "Wake up, twinkle-toes, or you'll get the rest of the bucket." "Huh?" Matt lifted his arm and squinted at the man standing over him with a bucket of water poised and ready. "Bloody hell," he said as he scooted away from the impending deluge. He ended up falling off his couch with a thud. "Serves you right, boyo," his boss said as he set the bucket down on the coffee table. "You take off from set on a whim, you don't answer my calls all weekend and today you were supposed to be at work two bloody hours ago, but again, you ignore my calls. Now get up and go take a shower because you smell like a distillery." Moffat scanned the room. "And by the looks of things, you've imbibed a bloody distillery." Matt blinked, taking in his surroundings. Once he'd returned to Cardiff after... after—his mind shied away from thinking about what had come before that—he'd not left his flat. From the debris of half empty pizza and curry take-out boxes, and the collection of dry bottles stacked on his coffee table, he'd held his own pity party. Christ, he must have drank every ounce of alcohol in his flat, even the liquorice schnapps that Daze had left, which tasted bloody awful, was gone. And then there was Moffat, his boss, who usually had a jokey, smirky little grin on his face, but could only frown at him with disappointment and shake his head. At any other time, that look would have made him piss his pants. Disappointing Moffat—very high on the list of things he never ever wanted to do. But now he only felt numb. Matt clambered to his feet and avoided the other man's gaze. He slunk off down the passage to the bathroom, made the shower as hot as he could stand, and stepped inside. Matt ached all over, inside and out. And then, of course, there was the deeper, more insistent pain that was raw, but he could pretend it didn't exist now that he had the buffer of a couple of days and the more immediate hurt of his alcohol abused body. He slumped in the shower and let the water scald his back for a good twenty minutes before he climbed out and dragged on some mostly clean clothes without bothering to dry off. When he came back through to the lounge, the smell of food cooking made his stomach lurch. Over the breakfast bar, he could see Moffat with his sleeves rolled up working a frying pan. His boss turned and readied a plate with a couple of slices of toast from the toaster, then scraped the eggs he'd been scrambling on top. Moffat pushed the plate across the breakfast bar towards Matt together with a tall glass of water and a couple of white tablets. "Eggs and toast because that's all you've got in your kitchen," Moffat said. "And the bread was a touch mouldy, but I cut that bit off, so you should be okay." Matt eyed the concoction on the plate. The eggs were scorched, and the toast a little bit less so. He opted for the water and painkillers first, then picked up some cutlery and began to force the food in his mouth. He didn't think Moffat would take no for an answer. His boss watched him eat, arms folded across his chest like some kind of drill sergeant, and when

Matt finally pushed his clean plate away, produced two steaming mugs of tea for them both. Moffat took a stool across the counter from Matt and sipped at his stringent brew. "So," he finally said, "care to tell me what's going on?" "It's nothing," Matt said, half hiding behind his tea. "Yeah, okay. Take me for an idiot if you like. But I thought you'd got past all of this. When Karen and Arthur left, I gave you your space, gave you time to figure it out in your head, and you seemed to be doing fine. But now, all of a sudden, you're back to acting like a bloody prima donna and I want to know why. So you're going to tell me about it." Matt rankled. He wasn't ready for anyone to go poking at the raw bit inside him. "Look, Steven, I don't mean to be rude, but it's not any of your business, okay?" "Look, laddie, I don't mean to be rude, either, but it really is my business when you're the Doctor, and you decide to go off on a jaunt and avoid coming in to work because you've nearly killed yourself with booze. Because, you see, we can't do a whole lot without you and so we have to pay people to sit around and wait on you to get off your arse and make a bloody appearance." Taking a gulp of the hot tea, Matt tried to keep the shaking in his hands to a minimum. The eggs had actually helped to settle his stomach somewhat, but his head still pounded, and now a wave of guilt washed over him. "Sorry," he said. "Not good enough, Matt." Moffat looked at him, his mouth a grim line. "God knows I've tried to keep you level throughout all of this. I've always encouraged you to keep your feet planted on the ground, haven't I? I've even forgiven some of the lapses in judgement you might have had along the way. We were all young once. But don't for one minute think I won't write a surprise regeneration into the current script—don't push me, because I'd fucking love to do it. It would absolutely send the fans over the edge. Do you understand?" Matt swallowed. "Yeah. I understand." "Then we're going to get to the bottom of this and we're going to sort it. Is that clear." Matt nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I fucked up." He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I really, truly fucked up." Moffat leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands. "Tell me." "It's Alex." The air felt chill around him at the sound of her name. "I'm in love with her. Christ. It sounds so pathetic." Moffat snorted. "Yeah, all right. So you finally figured it out. Still don't see why that would turn you into a prick." "You knew?" "It's my job to know. I'm a writer, for god's sake. I watch how people interact for a living. You've been half in love with Kingston since you first met her, idiot. I thought it might just be some sort of schoolboy crush at first, but you seemed to get more and more enamoured with her as time went on. So what's the big deal? Unless you're embarrassed about it because she's older than you."

"What? No. That never even crossed my mind. No, the problem is... she doesn't." "And how do you know that?" "Because I told her, damn it. On Friday. That's why I skived off. I'd just sort of figured it out myself and I wanted to tell her..." Matt hung his head in his hands. "So you had this revelation, and then you tracked her down and after the week from hell that she's had, you just regurgitated your emotions all over her shoes and expected her to reciprocate in kind?" "Bloody hell, when you put it like that—" "Yeah, thought so." Moffat shook his head. "For god's sake, get a hold of yourself. Did you really think, after the two failed relationships she's been through, that she was going to let herself fall for a boy just because he confessed he had feelings for her?" "I suppose not. I didn't really think about it like that." Moffat slammed the counter and Matt jerked up. "Of course you didn't. Idiot. But don't worry, because I think I've figured out your real problem." "What?" "You need to bloody grow up. You must see that she's really very fond of you, Matt. That's something, isn't it?" "Yeah, I suppose. But—" "But nothing. Start acting like an adult. Stop thinking the world revolves around you. And maybe, just maybe, she'll come around." "Do you really think so?" "I don't know. But I do know she's not going to love you when you're acting like a spoiled child." Matt let out a sigh. "I suppose I could try to convince her that I'm not worthless." "For god's sake, if you don't stop with the self-pity I will smack you. There's no convincing, Matthew. Just be yourself. Either she'll realise she can't live without you. Or she won't. And in the meantime, don't screw the rest of us over, because you're not the first, nor will you be the last, to ever be rejected by a woman." Steeling himself, Matt looked Moffat in the eye. He nodded once. "Yeah. All right." Moffat drained the dregs of his tea and stood, looking at his wristwatch. "See you on set in an hour?" Matt nodded. "I'll be there." "Then I'd better give your potential successor a call and tell them not just yet." Moffat winked, then left Matt to mull over what he'd said.

He needed to grow up and be himself. It was funny, because he'd always thought the two were mutually exclusive. After Moffat's little chat with him, Matt threw himself into his work. It was all he could do to keep sane, really, and the only times when he succumbed to thoughts of Alex were during those quiet moments just before sleep. Thank god he was able to exhaust himself, because otherwise sleep would not have been so easy to reach. Throughout all of it, he actually ended up following Alex's original advice. Fake it. Fake it if you have to. So he pushed the boundaries of his acting skills, and made nice with his co-workers, and by the end of the week, Jenna and the crew were all speaking to him again, and Moffat's nod of approval as he walked past buoyed his spirits just enough to keep him from drowning. He was dreading the weekend, however, but he knew he couldn't return to alcoholic oblivion, so he did the next best thing. He called up Kazza. "Oh, about time someone remembered that I still existed," she said as she answered her phone. "I'm really sorry, Kaz. Guess I've been a prick to everyone lately. Can I make it up to you?" "Hmm, well I suppose so. Does that mean I get to choose your punishment?" Matt gave a nervous chuckle. "Absolutely. Your call, dear. I am yours to command." "Well isn't that exciting. And good, because I'm dying to see my boys again. Darvill's almost as bad as you are, you big twat. How about a Who reunion then?" "Sounds fantastic. Just tell me when and where." "Hang on a sec, gotta check my calendar for the weekend." He heard a couple of beeps as Karen accessed her phone's calendar, then she said, "Saturday, lunch. Pub and grub sound good to you? I know just the place. Meet us up in London, yeah? I'll text you the directions." By the time Saturday rolled around, he was actually pretty excited to see his friends. Matt opted to take the train instead of drive up and left early, losing himself in a novel Jenna had given to him. When he got to the city, he had a couple of hours to kill, so he strolled through the crowds around Covent Garden. The day was warm and wonderfully bright, and he meandered without purpose through antique and thrift shops and other tucked away places. He bought some cheese and stopped for a shiatsu massage. Matt loved the anonymity of London. If people recognised him, they never said so, but just let him be. Even the paparazzi seemed to be out of sight today. His grumbling stomach told him it was time to find his way to Kazza's pub, and as he walked through the front doors and squinted in the dim light, he realised he hadn't once thought of Alex that morning. He smiled to himself. Maybe he could get through this. "Oh ho! If it isn't himself." Matt whirled around at the sound of someone loud and Scottish and found himself attacked by a ginger. He hugged Karen back and said, "Missed me, Kaz?" "Shut it, you idiot." She released him and punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, all right." Matt rubbed his arm, wondering if a bruise was already forming. "That's what you get for ignoring me. And don't tell me you've been busy. That's no excuse for dissing your friends." He hung his head as Karen ushered him over to their booth. "You're right. I'm a world class idiot." He nodded at Arthur as he slid into the booth and Kaz scooted in next to him. "Darvill. How's it going?" Arthur nodded back. "Good, you?" "Yeah," Matt said. Pushing a pint glass towards Matt, Arthur said, "I took the liberty." "Ah, cheers, mate." Matt took a long swig of the crisp brew and quenched the thirst he'd built up after his walkabout. "Now, come on," Kaz said, "dish the dish. Tell us all about her." "What?" Matt sat up ramrod straight. "You know, your new girl. I want to know everything." "I don't know what you heard, but there's nothing going on—" "She means the new companion," Arthur said, butting in. "Tell us about Jenna, we want to know if she's good enough to replace us." Matt let out a little puff of air. "Yeah, of course. Well, she's great. Not as good as you lot, right, but she's great." "Now wait a minute," Karen said, "you thought I was asking you if you had a new girlfriend. Oh my god, Matt! Have you been hiding something from us?" He flushed deeply and shook his head. "No. I'm not hiding anything. There's no one, okay." "I thought he was still shagging Daisy on and off," Arthur said. "Isn't that right, mate?" "What? No! Blimey, you're both as bad as each other. I haven't seen Daze in months, Darvill, well not technically, and Kaz, I'm definitely not dating anyone right now. In fact, if you really want to know..." He ran a hand through his hair and looked at his friends eager faces. "Honestly, I think I'm done with all of that. I'm through with dating girls." Kaz blinked. "Through with dating?" Arthur patted him on the arm. "Hey, mate, whatever lifestyle choice you want to make, I'll support you. Doesn't bother me." "No, not like that, Darvill!" The other man grinned and Matt shook his head. "I just mean that I'm sick of it. I'm sick of women like my ex, I'm sick of women wanting me only because of my job, and don't tell me that Daze wasn't like that because you both know she'd never have looked twice at me if it wasn't for Who."

"That's not true," Kaz said, but Matt raised his eyebrows at her and she sighed. "Yeah, all right. Maybe in the beginning it was. But you were great together. I mean, you always had such a laugh." "Well it didn't work out. And I'm fine. I'm fine with that, honestly. I just don't want that anymore." "You don't even know what you want," Kaz said. "I understand what he's saying though," Arthur said, "you get to a point in your life where you want more than just someone to shag and have a laugh with. You want something a bit more meaningful." "Yeah, that's exactly it. Thanks mate," Matt said. "No problem." Kaz flicked her hair over her shoulders. "Well, good on you then, I suppose. I, for one, am far too young and gorg to even think about anything deep and meaningful. Bleh." Matt laughed, but couldn't help noticing the pained look that crossed Darvill's face, and wondered if he might not be the only man at the table lost in unrequited love. His laugh turned selfdeprecating. Suddenly Karen squealed as she looked over Arthur's head towards the door. Matt followed the direction of her eyes and his whole world froze except for the woman who was walking towards them through the pub. Oh god, it was Alex. Karen leapt up and hugged the other woman with her usual zeal. "You made it! I was beginning to think you'd ditched us after all." "How could I miss a Pond family reunion?" Alex said, hugging Karen back. The customary huskiness to her voice sent shivers across his skin. Matt schooled his features and stilled his limbs even as hurt shredded up his insides once again. He thought he'd been coping. He thought he'd be able to deal with seeing her again, but he hadn't had time to prepare. And now the plaster had been ripped from the wound and left him gasping. Arthur hopped up and hugged Alex, too. "Good to see you, how's your mum doing?" "She's doing well, thanks for asking. Well on her way to recovery. You were such a darling to come and visit her in the hospital." Matt blinked. Arthur had visited her mum? Arthur merely shrugged. "Joanne's a wonderful lady. Tell her I send my regards, will you?" Alex patted him on the cheek. "She adores you. As do I." She turned to Matt and he held his breath under her steady gaze. "Well. No hug for me, then?" His heart began to hammer in his chest. What was she doing? He forced himself to slide along the booth and approach her, fighting a battle between the yearning to hold her and bury his nose in her curls, and to run as fast as his legs could take him away from her.

She initiated the hug as if nothing had happened between them. Such a good actress. As his arms rose woodenly around her, he said, "Good to see you, Alex." He was a liar, yet it was also the truth. Christ, he'd been trying so hard not to think about her that he never realised how much he missed her. He relaxed into her embrace for a moment, pushing all other thoughts aside but the smell of her and her warmth pressed against him. He felt the rapid thrum of her heart beat. "I'm sorry," she whispered quickly in his ear, "I didn't know you would be here... I would never have..." Matt let go of her but kept a hold of her shoulders. Her words should have cut him, but a calm had settled over his frayed nerves, and he was thinking clearly for the first time in a week. Steven had been right. He was a selfish prick. How he felt—that didn't really matter, did it? He could wallow in self-pity, or he could focus on what really did matter, and that was Alex. He could be what she needed him to be. He wasn't sure what that was, but he'd figure it out. He circled his thumbs over her bare shoulders, drinking in the sight of her. She was dressed in a cheery summer dress with spaghetti straps, and the bright blue looked gorgeous against her tanned skin. "It really is good to see you." She let out a breath and he knew she'd been as stunned to see him as he had her. "Thank you," she said. Her relief was tangible. Matt gave her a small smile and let her go. During lunch, he remained subdued while he let Kaz take centre stage. His eyes kept flicking over to Alex where she sat next to Arthur. She seemed to have relaxed in their company and chatted without a hint of nervousness. But every now and then he'd find her gaze on him and she'd bite her lip and look away. After their plates were cleaned and their drinks were done. Kaz was the first to say adieu. "Promised Lou I'd go shopping. I was supposed to meet her five minutes ago," she said with a grin. "I'm a bad, bad friend." "I'm sure she'll forgive you," Alex said. Karen kissed them all soundly on the cheek. "Don't be a stranger, Matthew, or I might have to do you bodily harm. Oh, and when you're finally cured of this 'no-dating' funk you're in, ring me. I know a few girls who'd totally be up for a laugh and a shag, yeah?" "Christ, Kaz," Matt said, his cheeks burning. "Tell them not to hold their breath or anything." As Karen hurried out the pub, thumbs flying over the keypad of her phone, Alex turned to him and Darvill with her eyebrow raised. "What was all that about?" "Oh yeah, Matt's decided to take a vow of celibacy," Arthur said. "I'm starting the betting pool if you want in." Alex gave Matt a level stare. "Giving up sex? Did you have a bad experience or something?" He had an overwhelming urge to throttle Arthur and Kaz both. "No, Christ, of course not. I'm just not..." He faltered under her scrutiny and shook his head.

"He's going to wait for, you know, 'the one'," Arthur said. "Ah." Alex raised her wine glass and drained the last drop. "Well good luck with that. Never believed in that, personally. 'The one' is the one you're with, isn't it?" Matt raised his eyes to hers. "Until they leave you for someone else," he said, slowly. He was rewarded with a flash of pain across her expression. Her mask fell back in place all too quickly, but he'd seen all he'd needed to. God, Moffat really was a genius. Of course she'd been hurt by her previous relationships. Arthur flashed glances at them both and cleared his throat. "You know, I just remembered. I was supposed to be somewhere. Yeah. Sorry. I'd better head out." Alex snapped her eyes from Matt and nodded at Arthur. She moved so he could exit the booth and gave him a hug and a kiss. Arthur gave Matt a quick salute and mentioned something about texting him before he left the pub. And now it was Alex and him left, trying hard not to look at each other across the table. "I didn't know you were going to be here, Matt," Alex said first, her words rushing out all at once. "Karen said Pond family reunion, so I thought, you know, just her and Arthur..." He let out a sigh. "Honestly, it's okay. I want to apologise, anyway." Alex looked startled. "What for?" "I said some things last time we were, um, together. Some very spontaneous things, I suppose. And then, when you were only trying drum some sense into my thick head, I got mad at you. I behaved like a child. You were right. I'm sorry" She cocked her head and bit her bottom lip. It sent a wave of heat through him and he wondered if he could hold it together long enough to get through this. "Are you still... Do you still think you're in love with me?" Matt looked at her for a moment, taking note of the tremor in her hands and how vulnerable she seemed. He swallowed everything that threatened to spill from his mouth. Instead, he said, "no." Alex nodded slowly. "All right." "I don't even know what love is." He shrugged. "Not that kind, anyway. Maybe one day I'll know." She reached over and covered his hand with hers. He had to bite his tongue to keep from flinching. "Sometimes I think it's better not to know." "Yeah." He gave her a flicker of a smile. "So what do we do now?" "I hope that we could be friends again?" Alex was tracing a pattern across the top of his hand as she spoke, and he knew it was completely unintentional, she was always a very touchy-feely person, but it was stoking the embers inside him. "Friends. Yeah. Of course, Alex. If that's what you want." "But what do you want?"

Everything. "I want us to be friends. I don't want to lose that." Her smile made him breathless. "Good. That's settled then." But it wasn't. Not at all. And she was doing things to him with her touch and her brilliant smile and it made him shift in his seat uncomfortably. It wasn't fair. Matt licked his lips and saw her eyes dart to his mouth and back. Without much thought, he put his other hand over hers, making a sandwich, and circled his thumb slowly over that little bump on her wrist. Her lips parted and he wasn't completely sure in the dim pub light, but he thought her eyes darkened a shade. "Good," he said, dragging out the word. Two could play this game. Alex snatched her hand away and raised her empty glass. "One for the road?"

Chapter 6 Somehow, one drink had turned into two, then three and after that, Matt lost track. The afternoon rolled by as they slipped into easier conversation. A few beers was enough to make him feel mellow, and he stretched out in the booth with one leg up across the bench he was sitting on and his head leaned back against the wood panelled wall. His eyes were half-lidded as he gazed at and listened to a very animated Alex. Several glasses of Pinot Grigio had made her quite tipsy, and he noticed that the more inebriated she became, the less inhibited she became, and it was quite a sight. She was telling him about an incident when she'd been interviewed by Craig Ferguson in the States, something to do with rabbits and a ring she wore sometimes. As she spoke, she leaned forward, her arms gesticulating, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright, and gave him an excellent view down her cleavage. Matt licked his lips at the glimpse of the edge of white lace that barely managed to constrain a handful of boob. "How could someone like Craig Ferguson not know what a rampant rabbit was?" Alex was saying. "You mean the sex toy." "Yes, of course I mean the sex toy. It's a vibrator, for god's sake, but it has this bit, you know, that sticks out the bottom with two little ears. That's why they call it a rabbit." Matt blinked, trying to conjure an image. Daze had had a vibrator, but never one with ears. "That must be pretty uncomfortable." "Oh no." Alex shook her head a bit too vehemently. "It's wonderful. You see, it's supposed to pleasure your, you know, your clitoris at the same time that you do yourself with the dildo part. Very ingenious, if you ask me. I'll have to show you sometime." Grinning, Matt said, "Oh yeah?" Alex flushed. "Not like that, you naughty boy." She gave him a coy look. "Well, maybe like that." Somehow it seemed like the funniest thing anyone had ever said and Matt cracked up. Several people in the pub looked their way as he laughed and he felt the prickle of discomfort knowing they were being stared at. Matt swallowed his next quip for Alex and said, "Christ, what time is it anyway?" She frowned. "No bloody idea. Why, you have somewhere to be?" He motioned with his eyes towards the people slowly trickling into the pub. "It's filling up in here, early evening crowd starting to come in." "God. You mean we've been here all afternoon?" "Yeah, we've been here a while." Alex's eyes widened and Matt could imagine the cogs slowly turning as she processed the information. She finally said, "We've been here for hours. Together. Alone. Shit."

He had a feeling she was sobering up a little. "Nobody's been taking any notice, at least until now." Rubbing her temples, Alex said, "Maybe we can slip out and that will be that. I'd really hate for photos of us like this to show up in the tabloids tomorrow." "Well, yeah. But that's always a risk when we go out in public. That's not something new." "No, of course not. It's just if they see us together... Well you know how the press can get. What if they infer something?" Matt sat up a little straighter. "So what? It's not like they're gonna get shots of us bloody shagging in the street, are they? Alex, you're my friend. If people can't handle that, then screw them." "You know what, you're right," Alex said. "I've been out with Arthur before and there was hardly a blip about that. Why can't I be out and about with you?" "Exactly." "Absolutely." They matched smiles. Matt said, "So, what do you want to do now? Hungry?" "Maybe in a little bit. But I don't think I could handle more pub food." He stroked his chin. "Well, let's go out for dinner. My treat. One friend to another, yeah?" She shook her head. "Oh no, I couldn't possibly let you pay for dinner. That would not be right. How about if I treat you?" He glared at her, but inside he was smirking, because he knew if he got her to focus about who would be picking up the bill, then she wouldn't balk at the idea of dinner. "Look, let's not argue about this. We'll go Dutch, all right?" Alex pouted. "Fine. Now where should we go?" "Well..." Matt leaned back in his seat, plans slowly forming in his mind. "To make things fair, how about you choose the type of food, and I'll pick the place. So what do you feel like? London is your oyster..." Licking her lips, Alex said. "Mmmm, oysters. And mussels and prawns. Oh, I do hope you like seafood, Matt." This was perfect. "You know I do. And I know just the place. Have you ever been to Sheekey's?" She laughed. "Of course, once or twice, darling. But you need a reservation. You know what they're like." He whipped out his phone and pulled up his contact lists. Alex goggled at him as he clicked the number. "You have them on speed dial?" "Watch and learn, Kingston." The line was picked up at the other end and the receptionist answered. Matt cleared his throat and said, "Hello. I'm the Doctor. My wife and I require a table for dinner tonight. Could you see to it?"

Alex collapsed into giggles and he waved his hand at her to get her to stop. On the phone, the woman who had answered explained that all tables were currently booked for dinner. He could try a different day. "That never works," he said. "All right, could you get Phillip for me? Tell him it's Matt and I need a big favour." After a brief back and forth argument with the woman, she finally put him on hold with a huff of irritation. Matt nodded at Alex as he waited. "Don't worry, Phillip will sort it. I showed up at his niece's birthday party last year dressed at the Doctor, now he has to do whatever I ask him." When the woman returned, she said, "Table for two at seven o'clock, sir?" "Ah, perfect. Tell Phillip he's gorgeous." Matt hung up with a grin and pocketed his phone. "Dinner at seven. Whatever shall we do until then?" They ended up having one more drink at the pub, damn the stares they were getting, then they wound their way through to the very edge of Covent Garden, pointing out the various theatres they'd worked at and stopping to riffle through all the bookshops they could find. As they walked and chatted, their hands would brush, knuckles touching knuckles. Matt itched to hold Alex's hand, and he didn't know whether it was the beer or simply being with her, but a warm contentment had settled around him like a blanket. The summer evening was as bright and clear as the morning had been, a rarity, and they both commented on how gorgeous the weather had been lately. The pubs and restaurants were filling up with the early crowd and people were starting to queue up outside the theatres. The streets were busy with the press of late shoppers hurrying to their destinations. All Matt could see was Alex. Her hair caught the bright sunlight and the relaxed smile on her face turned his own into a grin. He loved just being able to spend time with her, and if they never had anything else, they'd have this. The restaurant was hidden on St Martin's Court, not too far from the Noel Coward Theatre. As soon as they arrived, they were ushered to a discreet table tucked away in a little corner booth. Matt liked the place not only for the great food, but because they had a strict 'no photography' policy. He knew they wouldn't be bothered here. As soon as they were seated at the banquette that wrapped the table, they were presented with a very expensive bottle of champagne, on the house they were told, and just behind the maître d' , a smartly dressed young man with a flashing white smile appeared. "Oh hey, Phillip," Matt said. "you are brilliant. This table is perfect." Phillip grinned, his teeth almost luminous against his tanned face and cropped bleached hair. "Anything for Doctor Who. Now, if you would introduce me to your marvellous companion..." Matt laughed. "Don't be coy, mate, you know who she is." "Well, yes," Phillips said in a mock whisper, "but until an introduction is given, I won't be able to complement the lady on her gorgeous appearance." Grinning, Alex said, "Oh, I like this one, please do introduce us, Matt." "If you insist," Matt said, exaggerating a huff, "Alex, meet Phillip, supposedly he works here but I've yet to figure out what exactly he does. Phillip, this is Alex Kingston, my delectable co-star,

and my date for the evening." Alex slapped his hand. "I am not your date." Phillip bowed with a wave of his hand. "Ms. Kingston, I would be ecstatic if you allowed me to whisk you away from all this. You don't need to put up with Matthew, here." "Hey, I thought I was the one you owed an eternal debt of gratitude to?" Matt said. "That is true, but until you start batting for the other team, sweetheart, I'm afraid Ms. Kingston trumps all your cards." "Oh, I really do like you," Alex said to Phillip as Matt slumped dramatically in his chair. "Stop pouting, Matt, I already promised you dinner. Sorry Phillip, maybe next time?" Phillip sighed. "Very well, Ms. Kingston. But if he becomes unruly, just shout, I'll be right over to rescue you. Please, enjoy the champagne, and if you're in the mood, the Lindisfarne Oysters are superb tonight. I highly recommend them." After Phillip had slipped away to entertain another table, Matt raised his glass. "To friends," he said, even as his heart fluttered at the look in her luminous green eyes. "Whatever happens, wherever we are, may we always, always remain friends." Alex clinked her flute to his. "I'd really like that." They sipped and smiled, then Alex said, "My turn. I propose a toast to Saturdays. And I hope all our Saturdays are as wonderful as this one." "Oh, that's good," Matt said. He took a sip. "How about a toast to tradition?" "What tradition?" "This one," he said with a smirk. "Where we drink champagne together and get all sentimental." Alex rolled her eyes, but drank to it nonetheless. "You know, darling, lately it's not us getting sentimental that's been the problem." Matt laughed. "Then I would like to propose a toast to that, too." "You can't toast sex." "Why the hell not?" "I don't know, it just wouldn't be proper, or something." With a snigger, he said, "Who said we were proper, love? Certainly not after some of the things I've done to you." "Matthew!" "I would like to propose a toast to your lips, and don't try to stop me, because every time you bite your bottom lip—you do it all the time—it drives me absolutely bonkers and all I want to do is kiss you until you can't stand it anymore. So, cheers to your lips, Alex." He raised his glass and drank.

Alex's cheeks flushed, and her heightened colour turned him on even more than he already was. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, I see what you're doing. Well, I can play that game, too. Let's see..." Her eyes roamed over him blatantly and then finally came to rest on the hand that grasped the stem of his glass. "I would like to toast your hands. You have that dip between your wrist and your thumb that just screams to be licked, do you know that? No, I didn't think so. Do you know how many times I've had to bite my tongue on set to keep from doing just that? Countless times, darling. Not to mention your fingers, which are just bloody perfect—long, slender, artist fingers— and contrary to the rest of you, perfectly co-ordinated and perfectly capable. I think that really does deserve a toast, don't you?" Matt shifted in his chair. His throat was tight and dry as Alex raised her glass to her lips, and before she took a sip, her tongue darted out a fraction to lick the rim. Matt gulped at his own and said, "Christ, yes." Alex winked. "Ball's in your court, darling." Stammering, Matt said, "Just you wait." He drew in a large gulp of air. He needed to reorganize his thoughts, because right now, Alex was killing him. They'd always been good at flirting, but now it just seemed to reach a whole other plateau—and the teasing was no longer in jest, couldn't be, because that would be cruel and unusual punishment. He was rescued by the maître d' returning to take their order and while another topped up their glasses. When the team had scurried off to do their jobs, Matt smirked at Alex. "What now?" she said. "Your tits." "That really is such a crude word." Grinning, Matt said, "would you prefer boobs? Knockers? Melons? How about cans, babylons, fun bags, puppies, jugs—" "Oh, stop it!" She tried to sound stern, but she couldn't stifle her giggle. "Kingston's tits, by any other name..." "God, you're awful. My breasts are nothing to crow about." He spluttered. "Nothing to... what? Oh my god. You honestly believe that? Look, don't take my word for it, I might be biased, but how about if you stand on your chair and take your bra off. Then we'll get everyone to rate you on a scale of one to ten. I bet they all say eleven ." "Did you just... make a pun?" "I did," he said with a giggle. "Get it? Eleven. I'm eleven..." Alex flopped her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking. "And twelve on your next birthday." He laughed out loud. They continued the back and forth banter and by the time their dinner arrived, Matt's side ached from laughing, and he had the added problem of increasingly tight trousers.

They were served with the Plateau de Fruits de Mer that they'd decided to share as too many of the menu options looked delicious and this contained a bit of everything; oysters, fat bug-eyed prawns, razor shell clams, wicked looking crab claws and even a lobster tail. Matt breathed in the aromas of freshly prepared seafood, garlic and butter and salt, and then cringed when his stomach rumbled loudly. "God, I'm starved," Alex said, "and this looks fantastic. Tuck in Matthew, otherwise I'm liable to eat your share." "Don't you dare," he said, waving a tiny fork in her direction. Most of the meal was intended to be eaten by hand, and Alex dived right in. She picked up a freshly shucked oyster, added a squeeze from the a half-lemon that was delicately wrapped in muslin, and tipped the morsel into her mouth. Matt watched intently as she shut her eyes, relishing the flavour, and then swallowed, her throat bobbing with the action. His fingers itched on the white linen tablecloth as he fought the urge to reach out and trace the line of her throat. Alex opened her eyes and looked directly at him. "You should try one." He reached out and plucked an oyster from the platter, avoiding the lemon as he preferred them au natural. Matt wiggled the shell a bit, then placed it against his bottom lip. Looking at Alex watching him, he flicked his tongue out and lightly sampled the mollusc, then he sucked the plump flesh right out of its shell. The delicate taste, salty and briny and sweet, exploded on his tongue. He chewed a few times, the texture firm and slippery, and then swallowed. Licking her lips, Alex said. "Well? What do you think?" "Very good. Particularly since they taste like something else I want to eat." Alex flushed. "I'm going to pretend I don't know what you mean." She picked up a prawn, removed the head and shell, then wrapped her tongue around it while she slid it into her mouth. When she had finished with it, she dabbed at her mouth with her linen napkin in a way that made Matt all sorts of uncomfortable. They continued to tease each other during the meal, and even progressed to feeding each other morsels. They gradually moved around the banquette until they were sitting thigh to thigh, smirking and giggling, heads together like a couple of school girls. When they were finally too stuffed to eat any more, they pushed their plates away and leaned back, Alex's head partly lolling on Matt's shoulder. Alex declined more champagne as their plates and the picked clean platter of seafood was cleared away. "I honestly don't think I could put anything else in my stomach without exploding." Matt pouted. "Not even some pudding?" "God, no. Especially not pudding. But if you want some, darling, don't let me stop you." He put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "Nah, it's all right. I don't need pudding when I've got my girl." "Not your girl," she said with a yawn. "Yeah, yeah. I may forget that every now and then. Feel free to remind me."

She patted his knee. "You'll get over it. Although if you're always this entertaining, maybe I'll let you take me out every once in a while. Now, I think it's time we headed back home, don't you?" "Yours or mine?" Laughing she said, "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." "Ouch. Not fair, Kingston." "Life lesson number one: life's not fair." "Ah well, tonight I've had you all to myself for several hours—so really, I think I do come out ahead in the end. You, on the other hand..." "I, on the other hand, need my beauty sleep. You don't stay this gorgeous without it." "And here I thought you bathed in the blood of innocents." She punched him on the shoulder for that one and he winced. Eventually they settled the bill and had the maître d' arrange for a cab to pick them up at the entrance to St. Martin's Court. They waved to Phillip as they left, and somehow, by the time they'd exited the restaurant, their hands had entwined, fingers linking together in an intimate braid. Matt hardly wanted to breathe, in case Alex figured out her hand was grasped in his and removed it. The warmth of her small palm elicited a corresponding warmth in his own that travelled up his arm, across his chest and suffused his entire body. As they ambled down the paved alley towards the waiting taxi, he couldn't help but notice the tiny smile that hovered on Alex's lips. Christ, he hoped with all his heart that he was the one who had put it there. The taxi dropped him off at his London row house first, as it was along the route to Alex's hotel. While the engine idled, Matt looked across at her and found her looking back at him. She parted her lips, and the warmth inside him turned electric. Clearing his throat he said, "Come inside? One more drink—for the road?" She was shaking her head even before he'd completed his proposal. Matt pushed down the stab of hurt. He should have known better than to expect anything more from her, now. No—they were firmly in friend territory. Flirty friends who fancied the fuck out of each other, and with no benefits attached, whatsoever. It was better that way. "It's not a good idea," Alex said softly. She squeezed his hand and slipped her fingers out from his, leaving him bereft. He said an awkward goodnight. He'd leaned in, simply to kiss her on the cheek, as friends do, but Alex had shifted back and left him hanging, so he shook his head and gave her a self-deprecating smile instead. Then he climbed out the car and walked up to his front door, willing himself all the while not to look back. It must have taken him a good five minutes to find the right key in the dark, and for some reason, his hands were shaking so much he had trouble fitting it into the lock. Chalk it up to being a bit drunk, maybe. But he'd never been a jittery drunk before. Just as the key finally slid in and he heard the lock click, he was startled by the sound of his name.

Matt spun around and his heart rose to his throat. Alex stood on the step below, no sign of the taxi behind her, and wrung her hands. "You see," she said. "I'm my own worst enemy. I can't stay away, even though I must. Matt... There's nothing I can promise you, because I'm like a hollowed out shell inside. I have nothing left to give. It was all spent on two bad marriages, and whatever else I have belongs to my daughter. But—" she chewed on her bottom lip— "you can have tonight. The rest of tonight. If you'll have me..." It took him two steps to reach her level. He cupped her upturned face in his hands and kissed her. Like a starving man, he knew he'd take whatever he could get. Alex leaned into his kiss and opened her mouth to him. He took advantage and delved his tongue inside, tasting the salty sour inside her mouth that reminded him of the dinner they had shared. He groaned into her as her arms wound up around his neck, then he broke free. Alex panted as he kicked the door open and pulled her inside. As soon as he'd shut it, she was on him again, kissing his mouth, his cheek, the corner of his jaw and back again to tongue the inside of his mouth while her hands fumbled with his belt. Soon his trousers were caught around his ankles and he was pulling the zip of her dress down her back as he licked and kissed her shoulders. Alex arched back into his touch, and gone was the shaking from earlier, because he managed to undo her bra and it came down as he dragged her dress off. Matt kicked off his trousers and pants while Alex made quick work of his shirt before shimmying out of her knickers. He took just a moment to drink in the sight of her naked body, her magnificent tits with nipples jutting out firm and ready caught his eye. Matt hoisted her up in his arms and clamped his mouth around one of those succulent peaks, licking and sucking and humming with pleasure at the feel of her in his mouth. With her nails scraping at his back, Alex locked her legs around him and pressed herself firmly against him. "God, Matt. God I missed you. You make me feel bloody amazing." He released her long enough to look up at her and grin. "We haven't even started yet. I've got all night, remember? I plan to take my time." Alex groaned. "I've been on the verge of an orgasm all evening. If you don't sodding fuck me right now, Matthew, I swear I will never speak to you again." Laughing, he hoisted her higher and said, "Whatever you say, ma'am." He carried her through to his bedroom, thanking god or whoever that the housekeeper had been over since the last time he'd left the place in a shambles, then he threw her not too gently onto the bed. "Turn around," he said. Alex's eyes widened and she grinned. She turned her back to him and got up on her knees, then she looked at him over her shoulder with raised eyebrows. Matt adored her tits, but, Christ, this view of her, with her round arse in the air and just a hint of her pink folds peeking out between her

legs... he could stare at her like this forever. His erection throbbed, swollen and bobbing in front of him, and he knew he'd have to save admiration for later. He had enough forethought to quickly grab a condom from the table next to his bed and slide it on his cock, then he positioned himself behind her and splayed his hands over her arse. Alex bit her lip as he tilted her to the correct angle and the tip of his cock slid against her opening. With one, beautiful thrust, he was inside her. Matt grunted at the feel of her snug around him and as he began to thrust, he knew this one would be quick. "Alex, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna last... Christ... Too much. You're too much for me." Her response was to meet him thrust for thrust. As she leaned on one elbow, her other hand reached between them and she fingered herself in time to his thrusts. Matt clutched at her arse even harder as his vision began to blur. He was holding himself back, all his muscles straining with the battle he fought, but he was losing, because it was Alex, and she surrounded him and was inside him also. He could no more take her out of his heart than he could hold back the flood, and when her walls pulsed around him and the sound of her voice calling his name descended over him, he let go.

Chapter 7 Matt was sitting on his sofa with a mug of tea in one hand and the Sunday paper in the other, reading the sports section—he'd missed the Rovers vs. Chelsea matched and wanted to catch up on the score—when Alex came padding into the living room. "You should have woken me up, darling. It's already a quarter to eleven." He looked up from the paper to see her standing there in one of his t-shirts. The stretched out neck hung off one shoulder and the hem of the shirt was long enough to reach the tops of her thighs. She plucked at the front. "I hope you don't mind. I seem to have misplaced my clothes." "Sorry," he said with a grin. "Just woke up myself not too long ago. You looked worn out so I decided to leave you alone—wouldn't want you to miss out on your beauty sleep." "Don't you start. I haven't had any coffee yet." Setting the paper aside, Matt stood and stretched, then hoisted up the baggy joggers he was wearing before they fell to his knees. "I think I've got some in the back of a cupboard, somewhere. The kettle's just been boiled." Alex's face took on a horrified look. "Please don't tell me it's instant." "Um. Okay." She waved a hand. "Never mind. I'll get some on my way home." A surge of panic washed over him and Matt stepped around to block the exit. "Not leaving so soon, are you? How about some tea instead?" "After you kept me up all night, I don't think tea is going to cut it. Anything else you can think of?" She smirked at him, and suddenly everything seemed all right again. If she was flirting with him, then she wasn't completely upset that the night she'd agreed to was over and yet she was still here. "I might be able to come up with something." Licking his lips, he grabbed her around the waist and picked her up. Alex shrieked as he dumped her on his sofa, scattering the newspaper everywhere. She looked up at him, biting her lip, and the t-shirt she was wearing had ridden up to show she was sans knickers, which was perfect for what he had in mind. Her eyes got that cheeky glint in them as he absently rubbed at his belly, and then she let her knees drop open. Matt gulped. Oh, yes—absolutely bloody perfect. He knelt down in front of her, placing his hands on her knees, and with a quick smirk in her direction, dipped his head between her legs. He breathed in her musky scent, ripe and pungent, and gave a generous lick up her slit. Alex shuddered under him and he licked again, delving deeper and parting her folds with his tongue. She tasted salty, creamy and a little metallic, and Matt allowed her to pervade his senses as he committed to drawing out her pleasure with tongue and teeth and nose. He swirled around the hard nodule of her clit with rhythmic strokes, humming in time to his pattern as his chin pressed down into the cleft of her arse.

Alex bucked her hips up, her sighs turning to moans turning to little grunts of frustration as he brought her to the brink, then backed off, only to bring her right back. "God, will you stop bloody torturing me," she said with a wail as he backed off for the third time. Matt replaced his mouth with his hand, keeping constant contact on her clit with his thumb while ghosting over her entrance with the tips of his fingers. "Only if you promise me—" "What? Promise you what?" "Breakfast. You'll at least stay for breakfast." "Is that all? For fuck's sake, Matt, I probably would have promised to be your slave for all eternity." "Promise me breakfast," he said sternly. "Fine. I promise. Now get on with it. Please." The last word she uttered with such pained suffering, that Matt felt almost guilty for torturing her. He grinned as two of his fingers slid inside her as far as he could reach. Then he bent his head and sealed his lips around her clit and as he began to pump his fingers inside her. He licked and sucked viciously at her clit. He could feel her walls tighten around his fingers as a low moan began in her belly. He twisted his fingers inside her and gave one long suck and it was all that was needed to make her jerk upright and cry out his name at the crescendo of her orgasm. He licked at her gently as she fell backwards—a heap of quivering woman on his sofa. Matt nipped at the inside of her thigh, causing her to jump. Alex shifted to run her hand through his hair and he grinned at her heavy lidded eyes and satisfied smirk. "You really do know how to take care of a woman, don't you?" she said. "Who taught you that, darling?" Matt blinked at the odd question. "Well, I suppose my mum did." "I beg your pardon?" "What? Christ! No, not like that." He laughed and flushed at the same time. Matt got off his knees and threw himself on the couch next to Alex. He nuzzled his head into her neck, burrowing between her curls to find the smooth skin and kiss it. "No, what I mean is, my mum always taught me to treat a lady as if she was, well, a lady. You know. Take care of her needs before your own sort of thing." Alex chuckled. "So you thought the sentiment extended to sex?" "To everything, really. I want to do whatever I can to make you happy, Alex." He caught her wistful sigh as she wrapped her arms around him and brought him closer. "I think I love your mum." "You should meet her some time." "Yes, we'd probably get along famously until she found out I had debauched her little boy."

"Oh, Kingston. You don't understand, do you? I was debauched a long time before you got your hands on me." He licked up to the skin just beneath her ear, then teased at her lobe with his teeth. "I've been putting girls first since I was fifteen." "God—so young? I was the grand old age of twenty when I first..." She shook her head. "Ancient history, though. I don't like to dwell on the past." Matt followed the line of her collar bone with his finger and frowned. "Good. That's good, because it can't hurt you, now." Alex stilled. She turned to look him in the eye. "You know what? I suppose you're right." "I'm always right." His finger traced her nose. She had a strong nose, but it suited her. Just like the hair and her full lips and her eyes. Each part of her was distinct and beautiful. Sliding a hand down the front of his chest, Alex said, "Well, your turn now, darling." Matt stopped her hand and when she gave him a questioning look, he leaned in to kiss her lips sweetly. "No. That was just for you." "Are you sure?" It was extremely tempting. He was already half-hard from eating her out, and just the thought of her perfect little fingers touching him... Matt quickly forced back the images that had popped up in his mind and nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. Now, about breakfast—you did promise..." Alex laughed. "Under duress, darling." "Still counts." "I suppose it does. What are you planning to make?" "Who said I was making anything? Blimey, you really don't want me to cook for you, Kingston. Nah, I was just going to pop down the road and bring us back something. Including proper coffee, if you like." Her eyes lit up. "Oh, I would! And actually, would you mind if I borrowed your shower?" "Mi casa es su casa, love." Matt reluctantly disentangled himself from Alex and went to fetch whatever clothing they'd discarded by the front door the night before. He handed Alex her things and said, "you're welcome to borrow any of my clothes if you don't want to put these on again, and there's some new toothbrushes stashed in the bathroom cupboard—you can have one." Alex lifted an eyebrow. "You're well prepared. I take it I'm not the first woman to overnight with you at the last minute." He flushed. "God, not like that. Well... I haven't. Not in a long time. I don't bring random women to my place all the time. I mean, I went through a phase before, but—" She laughed. "It's okay. I'm a grown up. I'm not judging you. God knows I had my fair share of fun when I was younger. I'm no saint, darling." She walked off towards the bathroom, swaying her hips as she went. The t-shirt she was wearing barely covered her round arse and showed tantalizing peeks of the bottom curve of her behind as she walked. She looked over her shoulder at

him and winked and suddenly he regretted turning down her offer of turnabout. While Alex was using the facilities in the guest bathroom, Matt quickly brushed his teeth, ran a wet hand through his hair and pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a random t-shirt, all the while his heart threatened to burst out of his chest and float to the ceiling. He felt ridiculous, and giddy, and he was sure anyone who saw him would think he was certifiable due to the manic grin pasted to his face. He tidied up a bit in the bedroom, straightening the bed up, and in the living room he picked up the mess that had been made of the Sunday paper and tried to shuffle it back into some sort of order in case Alex wanted to read it while he was out getting breakfast. As he was riffling through the pages, an image caught his eye. He dropped the page as if it had burned him. Matt froze. The grainy photograph was burned onto his retina—an image of him and Alex, wrapped in an embrace that couldn't be construed as anything but exactly what it was, right on the very steps outside his house. Every ounce of blood in his head seemed to drain away and leave him light-headed. Matt forced himself to reach for the page and hold it up, and yes, he could confirm that the shot had indeed been taken last night. They'd only made the front page of the entertainment section in this slightly more respectable publication, but somehow he knew they'd made the front pages of other publications, too—ones not worth wiping your arse with. He didn't even bother to read the caption or the headline, he only set the page face up on the coffee table before he sank down onto the sofa and put his head in his hands. Pandora's box had been opened and only Christ knew what the outcome would be. An eternity passed before Alex came walking out, shaking out her damp curls with her fingers and dressed in a pair of his baggy joggers and the same t-shirt. "Back already?" she said, then she stopped. "What's the matter?" Matt lifted his head and looked at her through his fingers. He motioned towards the paper on the table. Alex stepped forward and picked it up. Her face immediately went white and she compressed her lips into a line. Matt watched her in silence as her eyes scanned the article several times. His heart dropped with each second that ticked past. When she finally looked up at him, he flinched at the fury in her eyes. "Say something. Please." His voice was ragged. "I should go." She dropped the paper and hurried away to retrieve her balled up clothes from the night before. Matt leapt after her and caught her by the wrist. "No. You can't leave now. You know they'll be waiting outside for fresh blood. You have to wait." Alex whirled on him. "This is exactly what I predicted would happen, but you said, no, we'll just go out as friends, nobody will care, but look," she pointed at the damning evidence. "It's all over the bloody paper. It's probably in every single paper this morning and will be global fucking news by Monday. What am I going to say? What will I tell everyone? Yes, Matt and I are fucking each other, but don't worry, it's just sex. God. What am I going to tell my daughter?" She choked back a sob and, wrenching her wrist from his grasp, covered her face with her hands. "How the hell am I going to explain this to her."

"I'm sorry. Look, I'm really sorry, all right. We'll figure something out, I promise. I should never have, Christ..." he ran his hand through his hair several times, wanting to pull it out so he could feel something other than the sharp pain that had lodged in his throat, "it's all my fault. I should never have kissed you like that. It's just, bloody hell, Alex, what else was I supposed to do? When I saw you standing there like that..." Alex drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "It's not your fault. Not really. If I hadn't been so weak... I was the one who followed you to your doorstep. I just can't seem to help myself when it comes to you." Matt laughed nervously. "I know what you mean." She lifted her eyes to his and they were wet. "It's not the first time my love life has been dissected in the media for everyone to see." "It must have been hard for you, to go through that." "For me? No. I don't really care what they say about me. It's my family I worry about. The questions they get asked because of something awful that's been said. And especially my daughter. And you don't even realise, do you?" She shook her head. "What I've been through in the past will be nothing compared to this. Prepare yourself, because we are about to get thrown to the wolves." "Do you really think so?" He shivered and rubbed his arms, because he knew she was right. And he knew that Alex was going to get the brunt of it, that he'd probably get off with a little 'wink, wink, nudge, nudge', but she'd be absolutely lambasted. Alex simply nodded. "Then I'll fix this. I don't care what I have to do, I'll bloody well fix it, because you are not going to be treated like that, and I won't have your daughter ridiculed, either." Her laughter was tremulous. "We don't even know how to leave your house without getting caught by the photographers." Matt fiddled with his hands. "I'm really sorry, Alex." She nodded and drew in a deep, shaky breath. "Not your fault—" "No. Don't say that. I'm as much to blame as you are. We're in this together, all right? You may look at me like I'm a big kid, but I'm not. I take just as much responsibility for being a bloody idiot. And yes, I am sorry, because I really didn't think about the consequences beyond myself.'" Looking over at him, she said. "I don't think you're a big kid." "You don't?" "I couldn't... I couldn't let you do what you do to me if I thought that." The corner of her mouth twitched. "That's part of my problem. I don't see how old you are. And I should." Heart pounding, Matt reached out to touch her hand. He prepared himself for her to flinch and back away. Instead, her fingers slipped between his and his pounding heart became like thunder in his ears. He tugged her gently in his direction as she gnawed on her bottom lip. For a moment, she considered him, then like magic, she stepped into his embrace. Matt felt something release inside him as he wrapped his arms around her. His hand moved up to

wind through her curls and he felt her own hands warm on his back through the fabric of this tshirt. With his chin resting on the top of her head, he said, "Whatever I need to do, even if I have to go on record saying I jumped you because I was drunk or stupid or both, and that you put me straight, slapped my wrists and told me I was a bad, bad boy..." "You really would be willing to take the fall for this?" "Absolutely. Without a doubt." "Why?" Her question vibrated against his chest. "Well... Because you've got more at stake than I do. Your daughter, for one." "You've got your career to think about." He chuckled. "Come on. The fact that I snogged Alex Kingston—don't you think that would make me infinitely more employable?" He could feel her relax a fraction. "You have a point." Alex lifted her head from his chest and even smiled at him, halting the breath in his throat. "I suppose we'd better call someone who can help us fix this." "Our publicists?" "God no. Especially mine. Jane told me I should have shagged you from the start—she'll be over the moon that I finally succumbed." Matt spluttered. "Christ. Well. You really should take her advice more often." "How about Steven? He's brilliant, after all. He'll know what to do, don't you think?" Thinking back to the last time he'd spoken to Moffat about this issue, Matt quickly shook his head. "I don't think he'll give a shit either way. He'll just laugh and tell us to figure it out for ourselves." Alex groaned. "You're right. The evil bastard will probably love all the publicity anyway. Damn him." "Darvill's pretty intelligent. We could call him." "Arthur? Seriously? He'll have material to mock us with for years to come. Do you really want to call and explain the situation to him?" "Yeah... Nah." With a sigh, Matt lifted his hand to her face to tug at one of her curls. With her proximity, it was getting more and more difficult to remember why they had to extricate themselves from this mess in a hurry. "I suppose that leaves us with—" "Karen," Alex said. "You have to call Karen. She's Scottish, she'll know what to do." Matt nodded. As much as she put on the giggling airhead display sometimes, Kaz was deep down a pragmatist. With reluctance, he untangled himself from Alex and walked over to pick up his trousers from the night before. He fished out his iPhone and winced at the number of new text messages and voicemails. "It's like the end of the world or something," he said to Alex. "Are you

going to check yours?" "Fortunately mine died on me sometime last night. I'm not sure I want to know. I'll have to call Salome soon, but thank god we're several hours ahead. She won't be awake yet." Matt considered scrolling through the unread messages, but shook his head. "Better not." He pulled up Karen's number and pressed dial. She answered her phone in one ring. "'Bout time you called me back. What on Earth do you think you're doing, you numpty? And with Alex? Oh my god! I've had people calling and texting me all morning trying to get the scoop. Do you know how hard it's been to avoid saying anything that would look bad? I can't even say I don't know anything, because even that would be incriminating. You're supposed to be a close friend, how come I don't know anything? I mean Alex? Jesus. I know you guys flirt a lot, but it's Alex—she flirts a lot with everyone—everyone knows she's not serious about it. I mean she's so out of your league—" Wincing, Matt held the phone away from his ear for a moment while Karen continued to rant at him. Alex raised an eyebrow as if to say what did he expect and he gave her a pained look. When he heard Karen take a breath, he quickly said, "Kaz, please, let me just speak for a second, okay?" "One second." "Look, it wasn't planned. It just... happened. And I'm an idiot because I wasn't thinking with my head—" "Yeah. You were thinking with your dick." "What? No! It's not like that. I mean it is, but also, Christ," he turned his back to Alex as a flush spread up his cheeks and dropped his voice, "I care about her, too." "Why are you whispering about it?" "'Cause she's standing behind me." "She's still there. From last night." Matt rubbed the back of his neck. "Um. Yeah." "Oh god. Okay. Well, um, when did you both realise that photos of you snogging her face off and then dragging her into your place have appeared all over the show?" "I don't know. About ten minutes ago." Karen was silent for a moment. "Oh god. You're both idiots. And you need my help because, basically, if anyone sees Alex leaving your place this morning, it'll go from wild speculation to wild fact that she spent the night." "Something like that." "Don't move. I'll be right over." For the twenty minutes that it took Karen to arrive, Alex sat on the sofa and stared at her hands while Matt paced the floor. Every so often he would stop, turn to her, and open his mouth to

speak, then shut it without saying anything at the pleading look she threw him. And he understood, he truly did, because before, it had just been the two of them involved, but now that they had embroiled a third person in the mix, it seemed that things had become infinitely more real. When he finally heard the knocker, Matt shot to the door and threw it open. Karen stood on the front step with her usual sunglasses on, two large Starbucks in her hands and an oversized handbag slung across her shoulder. "For god's sake, Matt, smile like I'm your best friend in the world and give me a hug." He pasted a grin on his face and avoided the coffee cups as he gave her a stiff hug. "Not perfect, but it will have to do." Taking the cups from her and ushering her in, he said, "You brought coffee, thanks." "Not for you, numpty. I know you don't have any decent stuff—poor Alex must be suffering dreadfully. The caramel one is mine." Alex rose from the sofa to greet Karen. She stepped forward, biting her lip. "I'm so sorry to drag you into all this. God, I feel like such a moron right about now." Karen removed her sunglasses and surveyed the older woman. Then, with a small sigh, she opened her arms. They embraced for what seemed like ages while Matt hovered with the coffees in hand. When they finally drew apart, Karen looked Alex in the eye and said, "I know it seems really bad right now, but believe me, it's not something that can't be fixed, all right?" Alex nodded, and when Matt pressed the coffee into her hands, said, "You don't know how much I need this right now. Although I almost wish it was something stronger." Karen grinned. "That would be really bad. You both need your wits about you from here on out. Alcohol is definitely off limits. Is that clear?" "I don't think you need to worry about that," Matt said, running a hand through his hair. "Good." Karen dropped her handbag on the table. "Alex, I brought you something to change into. Last night's dress or, even worse, Matt's joggers, aren't going to do you any favours. Best go and get changed, dearie." Alex actually flushed and mumbled a quick thanks before she grabbed the bag and slipped away to the guest loo. Karen turned to Matt. "And now you. I have just one question: why'd you do it?" His heart began to beat fast with the panic he felt under Karen's forthright stare. "You want to know why I slept with Alex?" "No, you idiot. I know why you slept with her. You're a straight man with a penis, that's why. No, I want to know why you had to publicize it like that. You must have known the press would have a field day with all of this." Matt hung his head. "Honestly, I just wasn't thinking. Or at least, I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself." "So basically, you just had a fuck it moment, yeah?"

"I suppose you could put it that way." "Because if you wanted to shag Alex you could have done it as much as you wanted in private and avoided the whole fiasco. But something tells me you have other ideas..." "Look, didn't do it on purpose if that's what you're implying." Karen rolled her eyes. "Of course not. But when you said you care about her, you actually meant that you care about her. As in, more than a friend with benefits." "Well, yeah." He looked down at his feet, clenching his jaw and feeling a muscle twitch in his cheek. "Oh, Matt. You poor sod. I think deep down, you're not too cut up that this happened." Matt continued to grind his teeth. "How can you say that? Why would I want Alex to have to go through this?" "Because you're in love and she's not. At least that's what you think. And the heart does selfish things, sometimes." "I let him kiss me." Matt's head shot up at the sound of Alex's voice. She stood in the doorway having changed into a pair of jeans and a casual shirt, and the sight of her pale face and redrimmed eyes struck him right in the heart. "So what does that say, if I let you kiss me?" He stood frozen, unable to talk or move or do anything but stare at her. What was she saying? No matter how many times he tried to process her words, he couldn't make sense of any of it. Karen broke the spell. "Well, then, this is awkward," she said. Alex snapped her eyes from his. "Sorry, Karen." "Yeah, well. I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end. So, here's the plan. Matt—you and I are going to go out for lunch. We'll walk. There's a nice little cafe just a couple blocks down that I've always wanted to try. We're going to talk very loudly about anything and everything, except this, and then you're taking me shopping." "God, do I have to?" "Do what she says, Matthew," Alex said. "With a little luck, we'll draw the paps away from your doorstep. Then Alex can make her getaway when she gets the all clear." "The all clear?" Alex said. Karen nodded. "Matt, go look out of your front window, see if you can spot the yellow bug." Matt did as he was told. He twitched the curtain open a fraction and glanced down the street until he saw a yellow beetle parked at the corner. "Wait a minute, doesn't that car belong to one of Darvill's mates." "Yep. Darvill is using it to pose as a photographer. When he sees that they've all gone, he'll come

and pick you up, Alex. And that's it, really." "You came up with all of this in under twenty minutes?" Alex said. "Yes, well. When you've had to do the walk of shame in front of a billion photographers, you learn the hard way." Karen looked over at Matt. "All right, then, lover boy, are you ready to face the world?" Matt shuddered. "No way in hell. But I'll do it, anyway." "We'd best get going then. No reason to keep them waiting." She put her sunglasses back on, downed the last dregs of her coffee and held her arm out to Matt. Matt's eyes darted from her to Alex. "Yeah. Um. I suppose so." Karen followed his look and groaned. "Ugh. Go on, tell her goodbye then, idiot. I'll wait for you by the door." As soon as Karen was out of earshot, Matt turned to Alex. "You think this will work?" "I don't see why not. And it's not like I have any other ideas. You?" He shook his head. "Well. I suppose this is it, then. I really am sorry, Alex." "Don't start, darling. Please." She spoke with weariness more than rancour and Matt wanted to reach out and draw her into his arms again, but he hesitated, unsure of how she would receive him this time. "Right. I won't. I'm sor— I mean..." He tugged at his hair, feeling frustration build like a pressure in his chest at his inability to express himself to her. "Will I see you again?" She chuckled dryly. "We do work together." "Before that, though. Will I see you before that?" Alex let out a sigh. "I... I hadn't really had a chance to tell you yet, but I'm flying back to the States in a couple of days." Matt stepped back a fraction, reeling at her words. "I've got an audition for a play in New York and then I'm in Florida for a convention next weekend. I really can't miss this one since I had to pull out of the last one halfway through..." "No, right. Of course." Matt swallowed. He felt hollowed out inside. "When will you be back?" "Not until I start filming with you again. I was really supposed to leave a couple of weeks ago already, but with my mum..." "Yeah. You must get back to your daughter. She's more important..." "She's all I have." You can have me, he wanted to say. If you'll let yourself. But all he could do was nod and give her a weak smile. "What are you going to tell her? About us." She bit her lip. "I honestly don't know yet. To everyone else I'll just plead a lapse in judgment and

an over indulgence in good wine. But to her... I could never lie to her." Matt nodded. "I'll go with that, too, then. Too much to drink." "Okay. Well... I think I can hear Karen tapping her foot by the front door." "Yeah, best not keep her waiting too long. Her head gets a bit hot under all that ginger." "You'd better be her slave for the next month to pay her back for helping us." "Why me?" "Do I really need to answer that?" A fraction of his tension unwound and he grinned at her. "No. Not really." "So..." "Yeah?" Alex bit her lip as she looked up at him. "Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye, then?" And just like that his heart was racing once more. Before she had a chance to rescind her invitation, he reached for her and dragged her to him, pressing his lips firmly against hers until she sighed and parted for him, allowing his tongue a chance to sweep inside her mouth. If this was the last time he was going to kiss her for god knew how long, he wanted to make it one to remember. His hand slid down her back to rest on her arse and he pressed her body tightly to his own. His mouth and tongue moved leisurely as he explored her lips and inside her mouth. When Alex groaned into him, he felt a corresponding twinge in his groin, and pulled away with a gasp. "Adieu, Alex," he said after his breathing returned to normal. "And good luck." She licked her lips and some of her colour had returned to her cheeks. "You too, darling. And if you want to, you can call me..." "Count on it." He kissed her one more time, swiftly and fiercely, before he turned to leave her, and despite the circumstances, he felt the first fluttering of hope sprouting in his chest.

Chapter 8 Matt woke to the sound of his phone buzzing. In his half-asleep state, he reached over and answered it before checking to see who was calling. "Get online right now." "Oh, hi Kaz." He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?" "It's almost twelve, did I wake you?" Her clear lack of concern bled through her tone. "Yeah." "Oh, too bad. Rough night?" "You know I was up late because you dragged me out to that poncy club of yours. Gotta keep a high profile, you said, gotta be seen out with other women so it doesn't look like I'm in an exclusive relationship with Alex." "Aw, such a hardship, Matthew. Fantastic music, free flowing cocktails and fabulous girls." "It is a hardship if I actually want an exclusive relationship with Alex." He stretched and yawned. "But your plan seems to be working because the press are now focused on my supposedly promiscuous behaviour and have practically forgotten about the kiss. Poor Alex Kingston, just another casualty." "Yeah, well, my plan was working brilliantly, until now." Karen's words were like a bucket of ice water over his head. He sat up in bed and said, "What do you mean?" "Check your email because I sent you a link." Karen sighed into the phone. "Then call me back, yeah?" "Yeah, yeah. Okay." He hung up and scrolled through his email messages to find the one from Karen with the subject all in caps telling him it was urgent and to open immediately. Trying to clear the sleep fog from his brain, Matt clicked on the YouTube link she'd sent him. It popped up on his screen as a fuzzy, shaky video of a large room full of seated people then swung around at a dizzying speed until the angle adjusted and Alex Kingston came into view. His stomach did a little flip-flop at the sight of her. She was sitting up on a stage of some sort, smiling, with a microphone in her hands and she was talking in that low, throaty voice of hers that he felt directly in his groin. He realised he was looking at a fan video of her at some convention she had done and when his brain had caught up with him, he remembered she'd told him about the convention she was doing in Florida that weekend. God, this was video of Alex from less than twenty-four hours ago. Matt pushed the volume on his iPhone as loud as it would go, because the crap sound quality was making it hard for him to hear what she was saying. He wound the video back to the start and listened intently.

A fan asked how many times Alex had kissed him and he froze. Alex smirked and said, "On set or off set?" Matt almost dropped his phone. The cheer of the crowd blasted through the speakers as she shook her head and laughed. What the hell was she doing? His heart sped up, pounding heavily in his chest as he listened to Alex tease the crowd about all their on screen kisses, carefully avoiding any further mention of other kisses they'd shared. The fans were lapping it up, as much engrossed with her as he was. She answered a few other Doctor Who questions and then a girl stood up and proposed marriage. "I sort of am kind of spoken for," Alex said, her smile teasing the audience. Again, there was a roar of approval and Matt flopped back in his bed, phone on his chest, as he resisted the urge to leap up and dance around the room like a madman. Oh god, Karen was right. She'd totally blown a hole through their carefully constructed PR strategy. She was all but admitting that they were involved. Alex had told a bunch of Who fans in America that they were in a relationship. She hadn't even told him, yet. Bloody hell. Matt replayed the video several times, backtracking to the relevant bits to make sure he wasn't misinterpreting what he was hearing, and all he wanted to do was reach through the screen so that he could bloody kiss her over and over again. God, she was such an adorable, flirty, amazing, incorrigible tease who was completely incapable of keeping her mouth shut, and he loved her. He was filled to bursting with how much he loved her. Hands shaking, he managed to call Karen back. "Oh my god, Kaz, she... she..." "I know! Stupid bloody idiot—all that hard work to draw the attention from her and she goes and puts it right back on herself. What was she thinking?" "Yes, but—" "I know Alex sometimes can't help the stuff that comes out of her mouth, but Jesus, Matt, couldn't she, I don't know, pretend she's someone else when she's in public?" "Yes, I know, but—" "Next time I see her, I'm going to wring her neck. If the press get a whiff of this, all our careful work will be for nothing. You know they'll misconstrue it as more than a bit of flirting. We'll have to figure something else out. Or, god forbid, you two just get over each other and admit that you're a pair of creepy lovebirds." "Kaz, that's what I've been trying to say." "What?" Matt sighed and grinned at the same time, still unable to wipe the smile off his face. "Alex. She basically admitted that we're involved. Don't you see? She's actually thinking of me and her in terms of... of an us."

There was a silence at the other end of the phone for a moment, then Karen said, "Um. She confirmed she had kissed you, Matt. I hate to spoil it for you, but that wasn't exactly a declaration of undying love." "Yes, but what about that bit in the middle where she said she was kind of spoken for? That's gotta mean something, man." "Oh. Yeah. Well, I suppose..." Hanging his head, Matt rubbed at his eyes. "You don't think it means anything, do you?" "No, no, no," Karen said and he could imagine her red hair flying as she shook her head, "I mean, it could be something. But, see, this is the thing—we're mates, yeah?" "Yeah." "One of my best mates, Matty. And I couldn't stand it if you got hurt." She huffed into the phone, a sound of frustration mixed with anxiety. "Not that I think Alex would. Not intentionally. God, I don't know. But you've shagged once, for Christ sake. If you get too invested in all of this before she... I mean, I want you to be bloody sure, you know, that she feels the same. Because, otherwise, this could be a very public and very messy affair." "Kaz," Matt said, a warning note in his voice, "I told you already: I love her. " "Yeah, but, of course you're all gooey-eyed over her, she's Alex, for crying out loud." "You're not listening. I bloody well love her. And it wasn't just once, by the way." Karen's voice was soft when she spoke. "How long?" "Almost a month since the first time we—" "Don't want details," Karen said with a screech in his ear. "You never said anything... And here Arthur and I thought you were pissed off with us for leaving when, in reality, you were avoiding us to cover up your covert affair." "It wasn't like that. Well... Maybe a little—but none of it was premeditated. You have to believe that, Kaz. It just sort of... happened. And now..." He compressed his mouth into a line. His mood had swung all the way from elated to hollowed out and raw. "You really do love her," Karen's voice filled with wonder. "Oh, Matthew. You poor sod. God, I just want to hug you, now. I'm sorry." "When she said that, about being spoken for, I thought she meant, you know, me." "Shite. Look, of course she could mean that. But she was playing the fans, honey, you know how it goes. String them along with jokes and innuendo—and Alex is such a pro at it. But until she tells you from her own lips, you can't believe it. You know me—I'm not going to lie to make you feel better. Does she know how you feel?" "I told her." He spat the words out.

"I see. Let me guess—didn't go too well?" "Not initially, no. But I thought... I hoped that she was warming up to the idea." "God, you're such an idiot. She shagged you. Have you seen you? I'd say she was already pretty hot for the idea." He snorted. "Thanks a lot, Kaz." "No worries. I'm here to keep you grounded." "All you Scots are the bloody same." "Oi, what's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing..." "Just call her, okay." Matt let out a shaky laugh. "And then what?" "Ask her. If you truly think she's changed her mind, just ask her." "And if she hasn't?" "Then you'll know." Her stark words cut into his heart. Matt drew in a long breath, filling out his lungs as much as he could, before he released it and shook his head. "Not sure I'm ready to hear that yet. Not so soon." "Come on, you need a pick me up. I'll swing by and we can get some lunch" "Is it all right if I don't? I'm just not feeling up to it." "Fine," Karen said, "you can wallow in self pity if you like. I'll keep an eye on the press, just in case they make a big deal of this, yeah?" "Thanks," he said. Karen chatted on a little about what they might do next to outsmart the paparazzi, and he knew the whole thing was a game to her. A serious, important game, but a game nonetheless. Matt let her ramble on, supplying one word answers for the rest of the conversation until she got the hint and blew him an imaginary kiss through the phone. The last thing she said before hanging up was, "Call her anyway, numpty. You don't need to get all serious about it, just have a good old chat. It might make you feel better." Matt set his phone back on his nightstand and shut his eyes. It was a good thing he'd spoken to her first, otherwise he'd have steamed ahead and called Alex and probably said something stupid that he'd be regretting. Ah well. He took his shower and threw on some old joggers and a faded t-shirt then sat on his sofa and sipped at his tea. He debated turning on the telly, but he really wanted to avoid the news and he didn't care too much about watching that was broadcast on a Sunday afternoon. He needed to get his stuff together for the drive back to Cardiff, anyway, but he didn't have the will to move or do

anything really. Matt stared at his phone. Maybe he should call Alex. He did the time difference calculation and it would be early for her, she probably wouldn't be up yet. He smoothed his itching hands down the front of his joggers. If he packed up and started his drive now, he could conceivably call her by the time he got in to Cardiff. As he was contemplating the matter, his phone buzzed and he started. A tingle ran up his spine as he reached for it. Before he even read the caller ID he knew it was her. "Hello?" he said, tentatively. "Hello, darling." And suddenly all was right with the world. He grinned. "You're up early, sweetheart." Alex chuckled. "So are you." "It's past twelve already here." "Yes. That's my point." He laughed and his spirits were soaring again. "So what are you up to?" "Just waiting for my flight back to LA. I thought I'd take the early one and surprise my daughter. You?" "Trying to decide if I should head to Cardiff now or later. It's been a bit of a rough weekend." Alex hummed. "So I see. What have you been up to, you naughty boy?" Flushing, Matt said, "You've been following the papers, haven't you?" "How else am I supposed to keep tabs on you, darling. I thought you were going to call me this week." He could hear the pout in her voice. "Oh. God. I wanted to, Alex, I really did. But I wasn't sure... you know... the timing of the whole thing. I didn't want to seem too eager. I'm trying to be just a little restrained, otherwise I'd bother you all the bloody time." "Honestly, I don't mind if you do." He jerked up in surprise. "You don't?" "No, I don't. I think I might... I might quite like it." Matt beamed like an idiot. "Oh." "Yes." He knew she was smiling on the other side of the line, just as he was, and his heart warmed. "Well, I might warn you that you've just given me wholesale permission to bother you whenever I

want to. You're not getting rid of me, Kingston. I'll be like the stray that follows you home. Once you start feeding it, you've basically adopted it." She laughed her throaty, sexy laugh that got to him every single time and now more than just his heart was warm. God, she could turn him on with just the sound of her voice. And then he pictured her smiling face and shining eyes and he was a goner. They chatted in a light-hearted and flirty way for the rest of the conversation, and he wanted so badly to ask her about what she'd said to her fans at the convention, but she didn't bring it up, so neither did he. Finally, Alex's plane was boarding and she had to let him go. "I'm glad you called," Matt said, feeling the bittersweet wrench knowing that she was all the way on the other side of the world and her plane was only going to take her further from him. Alex was silent for a moment, then she said softly, "me too." The rest of the day was a haze of euphoric feeling as Matt drove back to Cardiff, unable to remove the silly grin from his face. He didn't dare call Karen in case she brought him back to earth again. He didn't think he could stand another dip on the rollercoaster that was his life, and in his recesses of his mind, he began to make plans. Two weeks of filming flew by and he made a point to call Alex every single day. Sometimes their conversations were brief because he caught her at a bad time—usually when she was about to do something with her daughter or go out to visit friends, but other times, he would call her early in the morning, when she was just getting ready for bed, and he would snuggle down under his own duvet and listen to her ramble on about her day. They'd talk and talk for a couple of hours until he was forced to get up and get ready for work or until she fell asleep to the sound of his voice and he could just sit and listen to the gentle sounds of her snoring. One morning, his last day of filming before breaking to fly out for Comic Con, she surprised him by asking him about Daze. "I'm constantly seeing rumours that you and her are back together. Not that I believe them, mind, but there were these photographs..." Matt swallowed. "Yeah, that was a few weeks ago, same day I saw you last, in fact—part of Kaz's master plan. I saw her at Hackney and I might have played it up a bit for the photographers. Kaz thought it would help deflect attention from... you know. It didn't mean anything, if that's what you think—" "No. I didn't. But if I must be honest, I remember a time when you were fairly besotted with her." His stomach rolled, and for a brief moment he contemplated laughing it off with a lie. But this was Alex, he owed her the truth. "Yeah. Yeah I suppose I was. I think for a while there I let it all go to my head, if you know what I mean." Alex hummed in agreement. "Suddenly everyone in Britain knew who I was and she was gorgeous, I can't deny it. So I thought fuck it, and I went for it. God only knew I had no clue what to do with her when I got her. I hadn't even thought that far." "Oh, I'm sure you knew what to do, Mathew." He felt his face burn, and he really didn't want to think of Daze and Alex in the same terms. "It was very... invigorating. And flattering. And my ego may have grown just a touch."

"Maybe a little more than a touch..." Groaning, Matt said, "I'm so, so sorry I put you all through that. I must have been insufferable." Alex laughed. "Actually, you tried very hard to be, but you failed miserably. You're far too selfdeprecating sometimes. I was a little worried, you know, after your break up, because I think you genuinely liked her, and you're a sensitive soul, darling." "I liked... some things about Daze. And I think I was in love with the idea of her, you know, but... I think in the end I realised that we had different priorities. The things I value, she doesn't. And vice versa. Still, it was hard to let go." He sighed. "I don't like being alone. I'm not very good company." "Just like the Doctor." "Oh god, you're right," he laughed, "I never realised that." "That's why you play him so well, because you can identify with him. You're very good—have I ever told you that before?" Matt grinned and dropped his voice, "Not in so many words, love, but I did guess from all the satisfied noises you were making." She giggled and it sent his heart fluttering. "Oh you sod. That's not what I meant." "Don't try and take it back, now. Admit it, Kingston, I'm pretty good in the sack." "There's that ego again." "But true nonetheless," he said. "Admit it." "All right—if you must know, you are exceptional in bed, darling." "Oh? Exceptional? And here I was just aiming for quite good. You flatter me, Kingston." "Not at all. You do realise it takes two to tango? Without me, you'd barely be mediocre." Matt laughed and clutched at his chest. "You wound me! But if I have to be honest, then I'd have to agree with you. Without you, I'm actually quite shite." He lowered his voice. "You're the one who inspires me, Kingston. And not just when I'm making love to you." "Oh, darling..." He thought he heard a catch in her voice. And something inside him swelled with so much emotion he couldn't keep it contained anymore. "It's true. Alex... I—" "I miss you, you know. The feel of you inside me..." Matt bit his tongue. Stupid fool that he was, he'd been about to tell her he loved her again. Instead she was thinking about sex. "Your hands all over me... I shouldn't think about it constantly, but I can't help myself." And despite everything, the vulnerable thread in her voice superseded anything he might have been feeling. "I miss you too," he said softly. "Your hair, mostly, but also the line of your jaw—so soft, so infinitely kissable. And your lips, too, ripe and juicy, makes me want to bite into them—" She made a subtle noise, partway between a sigh and a moan and his breath halted. "Alex...?"

"Yes?" "Are you...?" She hummed in response. "It's been so bloody long. Talking to you like this without being able to touch you... god. I'm so fucking desperate, aren't I?" "You're bloody amazing, is what you are, love. And sexy as hell. Please, please... I want you to..." He heard her release her breath. "Tell me, Matt. What do you want?" "Touch yourself. As if I was there." "God, darling. I already am." "Fuck." He swallowed as the image of Alex splayed out on her bed, phone crooked by her ear, and her hand between her thighs as she worked herself. "Jesus. I bet you look gorgeous." She let out a moan. "I want you so much." With a small whimper, Matt skimmed his free hand down his stomach and slipped it under the band of his briefs. He gripped his erection and began to tug along its length. "I would give anything to be able to bury myself in you right now. You would feel so bloody good, Alex. You always do. I don't know how it's even possible, but when I'm inside you, it's like... it's like you take all of me, everything. And you're so hot and deep and tight... God..." "You're inside me right now, where my fingers are," she said, panting for breath, "I'm so close, so close..." Matt quickly licked his hand several times for lubrication so he could work his aching cock. "Don't stop, Alex. I want to fuck you until you scream, until you pass out from bliss. I want to see your face when you come. I want to feel your cunt around me as I send you to nirvana. Sweetheart, love, god, I wanna come inside you, so badly. I need you. I need you. Need you—" The rhythm of his words was punctuated with her whines and soft cries of pleasure as he brought himself close to the edge. He imagined Alex under him as he thrust inside her beautiful cunt, and he imagined her eyes wide open, focused only on him, looking at him, trusting him, loving him. "Matt..." She drew out his name into a wail and he knew she was almost there. "Alex, please... just let me... Oh, god, I love—" Matt swallowed his words. "Let go, let go—" And with a sharp cry, she did. Hearing her come, imagining her doing the same beneath him, Matt succumbed to his own release. His seed pulsed out over his fingers, the warm come cooling rapidly, leaving him wet and sticky. After a moment, Alex hummed into the phone. "Thank you, darling. You have no idea how much I needed that." Matt cleared his throat and chuckled. "I'm sure you could have managed that yourself, love." "You really do underestimate yourself," she said, "believe me, I tried. I seemed to have developed

a bit of a, er, dependency. I wish you were here, darling." "Well... In less than 48 hours I'll be just down the road from you, Kingston." "Yes, you're flying out for Comic Con soon." "I... I would like to see you. If you don't mind, that is. You could drive down to San Diego or... I could come to you. I'm sure I could squeeze at least a day or so in before I have to fly back." He held his breath. "That is, if you want." "Yes," she said. "I mean, don't feel like you have to have me, or anything. I know you're spending valuable time with your daughter, and I wouldn't want to interrupt that, but perhaps we could all do something together. I just thought, you know, it would be nice. To see you, that is." "Yes, I would love to see you." With her words, he was back up in the sky once more. Ever since Alex had barrelled through his front door carrying alcohol and swinging her hips, his life had been a rollercoaster of emotion. And even before that, because the first time he'd met her, he'd known of her, of course, had seen her work, but he'd not been prepared for the way she owned the room she walked into without being the least aware of it, how her presence somehow filled every corner, how her smile lit up her face and how her eyes turned him inside out as she looked him up and down. He'd been smitten with her, truth be told, at that very first meeting. Alex stifled a yawn and Matt blew her a goodnight kiss through the phone. "I'm going to be counting the hours, you know." "Me, too, darling. Me, too."

Chapter 9

The door to his hotel room burst open and Matt froze with his hand halfway into his carry-on bag. Arthur frowned as he came striding into the room. "What are you doing, mate?" Matt shrugged and continued to stuff things into the bag. "What does it look like?" "Looks like you're packing. Usually, you don't pack until the very last minute and then you ball everything up and chuck it into your suitcase." Arthur cocked his head at Matt's suitcase that lay open on the bed in shambles. "Sort of like what you're doing at the moment, actually." "Yeah, well. I thought you were enjoying a drink with that bit of totty you picked up in the lobby." "I didn't pick her up. She was just an interesting woman and we had an intellectual conversation over some coffee at the little shop downstairs." Matt gave him a level stare. "So she didn't invite you up to her room." "Nah." "Sorry, mate. Better luck next time, ay?" "Not every woman can appreciate all of this." He plucked at the front of his carefully tasteless cardigan. "I thought you planned to leave in the morning with the rest of us. We still have dinner with the Moff and his clan tonight. Why're you packing now, Smith?" Matt shot his friend a guilty look. "Yeah, well. See, the thing is..." He sighed as he zipped up the carry on, tugging it fully shut after grunting with the strain of it. He indicated with his head to the desk in the corner. "You were supposed to find the note." Stepping over to the desk, Arthur picked up the note and scanned it quickly. He said, "You were just going to sneak out on us, eh? 'Give my apologies to Kaz and Steven and the kids'—that's a bit harsh, mate, putting it all on me. I thought Alex wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." Throwing his toiletry bag on top of the heap of clothes in his suitcase, Matt pulled down on the lid and leaned heavily on it so he could snap it shut. "I arranged the rental company to drop off the car this afternoon. I mean, we're basically done with everything here—I thought since we've been relieved of our duties, I dunno... I want to surprise her." "Is that wise?" Arthur said, raising his eyebrows. Matt turned to Arthur, his nervous energy making itself apparent in his shaking hands as he scraped them through his hair several times. "God, I hope so. I just can't hang around here anymore knowing she's only a few hours away. I can't. I could barely sit through the comic con panels without telling everyone how I feel about her. Ugh. I'm doomed, mate. Doomed." "Yeah, I know. Alex could flirt with a fish? Who says that? Nobody says that. You're a love-sick idiot."

Flinging him a dirty look, Matt said, "Oi, your time will come. You'll be walking down the street or taking a crap or something equally mundane and suddenly it'll hit you. You're fucking in love with some woman, and for good or ill, your life will never be the bloody same again." Arthur's eyes flickered to the side and he said with heavy sarcasm, "Yeah. I wouldn't know anything about it, would I?." Matt frowned a bit, wondering why Arthur was looking anywhere but at him. Unexpected anger flared inside him. "Look, I know you don't approve of... of me and Alex. You haven't come out and said it, but I know. It's like you're jealous." He drew in a breath and narrowed his eyes. "That's it, isn't it. You are jealous. You've always been very friendly with Alex, more than the rest of us, but really it's because you've got the hots for her, and now that she's with me, you can't handle it." "God, you really can be such a wanker sometimes," Arthur said, shaking his head. "Yes, I'm her friend and I care about her. As a friend. And if you bloody hurt her, I don't care who you are, mate, I'll break your bloody legs. But honestly, do you think everything is about you? You can't even see past yourself, right now. You're so engrossed with your own bloody revelation, ooh, Smith's in love, nothing else matters." His anger was extinguished as suddenly as it had blazed. Matt sat down on the bed and hung his head. "Have I been that bad?" "You're not the only one who's ever been in love. You just think you are." Matt looked over at his friend. Darvill was always so laid back, never seeming to care about much at all, but looking at him now, Matt knew it was a ruse. "I'm sorry. You're right. Class 'A' wanker, here. So," he gave his friend a level stare, "if it's not Alex, who is she?" Arthur snorted. "If you haven't worked it out, I'm not telling you. Besides, you can't keep your mouth shut." With a rueful smile, Matt said, "so I take you've not told Alex who it is, either." "Christ, no. You two really are made for each other, stupid bastards that you are." Arthur mimed zipping his lips. "But I'm not risking telling anyone." "Not even Kazza?" "Especially not Kazza." Matt shrugged. "You do whatever you need to do. But if I could offer one bit of advice... not that I have all the answers, because, clearly, here's me, running after my mistress like a puppy, and I don't even know if she wants to keep me, so what do I know, right? But, if I can say, don't keep it close to your chest for too long. You gotta tell the girl, man, sooner or later." "Are you going to take your own advice?" "I am." Matt turned to look out of the window at the view of the marina below, the boats in their slips sparkling white in the late afternoon sun. The sky was so blue, like lapis lazuli, matched only by the azure of the pacific ocean framing the horizon. The world looked so much bigger here, and Matt felt a little lost, wondering if Alex felt the same, if she hankered after the greyer skies and less

expansive horizons of home. He turned to Arthur. "I have to. She needs to know that I am serious, that I've thought about this, about her, about us. That it's not just a spur of the moment thing. Then it will be up to her—what she wants to do with that information." Arthur nodded slowly. "Are you prepared if she decides to turn you down? Because there's always that chance." Matt gave him as much of a smile as he could muster. As it was, his insides were churning with the enormity of his decision. "It's do or die, mate. And I suppose better now than..." He shook his head. "Better never." In the end Arthur agreed to make his excuses to the rest so Matt could make a quick escape. He threw his bags in the boot of the rental car, set the GPS with Alex's address, and began the last leg of the journey he'd started all those weeks ago in Cardiff. As he drove, the sun slipped slowly towards the pacific ocean. He had the unshakable feeling he was driving home. By the time he reached Alex's neighbourhood, it was fully dark. Navigating the car through the gently curving streets of the suburb, Matt drove past beautiful, if not extravagant homes with meticulously manicured lawns, all brightly lit by the decorative street lamps. Each house looked almost exactly like the next, as if they'd been churned out by some American dream house factory, until he came over a rise, and on the left was a charming English Cottage style home, complete with overgrown ivy and scores of rose bushes. It had Alex stamped all over it. With a huge grin and nervous energy buzzing under his skin, Matt pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the car's ignition. He was keen to take her by surprise. If he caught her with her guard down, she may be less likely to reject him right away—at least that was his justification. After a few deep breaths, he climbed out the car and walked across the street. There was a fancy BMW parked in the driveway and Matt scooted around it and up the path that lead to Alex's front door. A security light illuminated the way, and while he was still at the bottom of the garden and Matt stopped in surprise as the door opened. At first he thought Alex had seen him coming up the path, but then a man he'd never seen before walked through the open door. Matt lurched to the side and into the shadow of a nearby tree as a wave of self-consciousness washed through him. The man stopped on the step outside the door, turned, and laughed at something. Then he saw her—Alex was mostly hidden from view by the man's larger frame, but he'd know her hair anywhere, and when her arms wrapped around the stranger and she put her head on his chest, it was unmistakable. His stomach roiled at the sight and he fought the furious flush of emotion, first jealousy, then anger, and then shame. He couldn't look away as Alex lifted her head, and they'd moved just a fraction so that he could see her face clearly now. She was smiling broadly, and more than that, her eyes were smiling and she looked so happy. He'd never seen her with that look on her face. And it wasn't him who had put it there. Alex kissed the man on the cheek, rubbing his arm and grinning from ear to ear. Matt felt sick. He'd come all this way to tell her he was serious, that he really did love her, and now he knew she'd never really thought of him in the same light. Christ, what an idiot he was. Had she been seeing this wanker all along making him some sort of fun diversion while she was on English soil? And he couldn't even get angry at her because she'd not once said there could be more between

them than just sex. He couldn't watch any more. Matt turned and walked away as fast as he could without drawing attention to himself. Alex was so wrapped up in the other man, she wouldn't even notice he'd been there in the first place. He needed to find a hotel and figure out a way to get his flight from LAX moved up. He could text her in the morning to say he'd had a change of plans. No big deal. She would be none the wiser, and he could get as far away from her as possible and start trying to figure out how to patch up the tatters of his life. He could do that. When he reached the car, his hands were shaking so hard he had trouble opening the door. Just then, he heard a small voice calling his name. He looked up to see a child push her way between Alex and the man and race down the path towards him. "Matty! Matty! When did you get here? Look mom, it's Matty!" Alex's daughter squealed as she ran towards him. Matt froze, not knowing what to do. He turned back to his car and finally managed to yank the door open. He wanted to jump in the car and get away as fast as possible. He made a move to climb in, but he heard her calling him again: "Wait, Matty—what are you doing?" He couldn't disappoint Salome. He stopped and turned back to her as she ran into the street. He heard the other car before he saw it. Salome was running across the road towards him, her eyes on him and nothing else. The bright headlights of the car crested the hill and Matt somehow knew the driver was going too fast and hadn't seen the girl. Instinct kicked in and he sprang forward. Matt reached Salome in less than a second, picked her up and, without thinking, launched her out of the way. He didn't even have time to turn his head before the impact. A noise like the crack of lightning filled his ears and everything went black. Time grew malleable. Matt didn't know if he was awake or asleep, and voices floated around him. The meaning of their words remained beyond understanding. "... oh god, oh god, someone call 911 … he's unconscious … be all right … there's so much blood …" He wanted them to know that his leg was on fire. Trying to form the words was like trying to swim up for air from the bottom of the sea. He was grateful when the darkness swallowed him up again. Matt regained consciousness several times after that, but he was no more able to make sense of his surroundings or of the words that strange people were mouthing at him. He struggled against them, knowing there was something he needed to do, or to find out, or somewhere to be—he couldn't remember—but they stuck something in his arm that made him forget even that. He welcomed sleep. The next time he woke, Matt was, for the most part, himself again. He blinked against the daylight and his eyelids felt like they'd been glued with cotton wool. Come to think of it, it felt like they'd stuck cotton wool in his mouth, too. He appeared to be in a hospital room. It was a fairly nice hospital room, as far as hospital rooms went, and he mentally applauded the big, flat screen telly on the wall across from him, but the room still smelled like bleach and the bed was excruciatingly uncomfortable and yes, someone had put him in one of those ghastly hospital gowns that had no room for modesty. He groaned a little. He knew he was a bloody clumsy idiot, but what the hell had he done to land up in here?

There was a movement out the corner of his eye, and Matt tried to turn to see what it was. A pain lanced through his head and he bit his tongue to keep from swearing out loud. "Darling, you're awake." Alex. He turned his head again, more slowly this time, and there she was—huddled on the couch by the window with a hospital issue blanket draped over her. Her hair was sticking up on one side, and her eyes were red and swollen, but she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "What happened?" he said with a croak. Alex quickly got up off the couch and grabbed a cup filled with water. "Here, you're probably parched. Drink something." He took a sip through the proffered straw and sighed in pleasure as the cool water eased his dry mouth and scratchy throat. "What did I do? Trip over a wire and get hit in the head with the boom or something? I've got the worst headache, Alex." "No, darling," the look she was giving him made his stomach turn somersaults. He didn't know what it was, but he almost felt unworthy under her gaze. "You saved my daughter's life." "I... What?" "You don't remember. She was running across the road and nearly got hit by a car. You literally tossed her out the way and took the full impact yourself." Alex was blinking now, and he knew why her eyes were red—she'd been crying. "Christ. Is she okay?" "Oh you stupid idiot," Alex said with a watery laugh, "she's perfect—because of you. Bit of a bruised bum from the way she landed on the grass, but otherwise perfect. Sick with worry about you, though." He nodded. "Good to hear. Not that she's worried. That she's fine. I've never been hit by a car before, though. That's a new one. So... Give me the bad news Kingston—" he tilted his jaw at her — "how do I look?" Alex shook her head and grinned. "Never better." "What's the damage report, then?" "Well... really not bad, considering. You did a very impressive roll over the bonnet of the car. The emergency room doctor said you were lucky—it would have been a lot worse if you had gone under. You escaped with a sprained ankle, a dislocated shoulder, five stitches in your head, and a concussion. They did a brain MRI, though, and there doesn't appear to be any swelling, so if everything looks good, they could release you by the afternoon." Matt grinned. "You sound like Dr Corday... It's very distracting, you know." Laughing, Alex said, "Oh, shut up!"

He waggled his brows. "We could always play 'doctor' if you like. I'm dressed for the part of 'patient' and I know you make a very sexy doctor, Kingston. Run and see if you can nick a white coat from someone, eh?" "Now I know you're all right if you can manage to flirt." She shifted until she was seated on the side of his bed and leaned forward, brushing delicately at his fringe with her fingertips. Matt winced. "Sorry, sorry. I just... Why does everyone I love land up in hospital lately? First my mum, now you—it's wreaking havoc on my nerves." "I don't know about your mum, but you've always known I'm injury prone. Bound to happen sooner or later." "Thank you," she said, and there was that look again as she blinked back the water in her eyes. "For what?" "For being you. For what you did. You didn't even hesitate to put yourself at risk for my daughter." "Well, I can't really remember..." Matt frowned. He remembered the noise—like the crack of a gunshot but even louder—and before that he remembered Salome running to greet him. He'd been standing by his car and it was dark. "I think I remember a bit. She was excited to see me. She called to me as I was..." And then he remembered. He'd been about to get in his car and drive away because... because... Matt shook his head and he stared at Alex. "What's the matter?" she frowned. "It was all my fault. The whole thing. I remember now." He dropped his eyes and fiddled with his hands. "I was leaving. She saw me and was running across the street to stop me. So don't think I'm all heroic, Alex, because I was the one who put her in harm's way in the first place." "That's not even... Wait—you were leaving? You've got it mixed up. You had just arrived when it happened. You surprised us, that's all, we weren't expecting you until today. Salome knows better than to go running across the road without looking—especially that road with the blind hill." "I was leaving." Matt ground down on his teeth. He hadn't wanted to say any of this to her, but she was looking at him like some sort of saviour, like he was precious to her, and he couldn't take it. "Because I saw you with that man. I know I have no right to say anything, but Christ, I'm only human." "You saw me with Florian?" Matt put a hand over his eyes. "Your ex. Christ, why does that make it worse?" "I don't understand." When he lifted his eyes to her, he could see that she was genuinely puzzled. Everything he'd felt the previous night came rushing back, and combined with whatever medicine he'd been given for pain, made him feel sick to his stomach. "Are you really being obtuse? You're back with your ex —how do you think that makes me feel?" He shook his head. "Sorry, sorry, I know I shouldn't care—you never promised me anything more than the occasional fuck, and even that wasn't a promise, more like, like a random accident every once in a while."

"That is not true." Her mouth compressed into a line. "You got all of that from seeing Florian at my house? He's the father of my child, and besides that, he's still a friend. He's in my life whether you like it or not, so get used to it, Matthew. I will not put up with any jealous bullshit." "But I saw you together," he said, his tone turning to a bit of a whine, "you looked, I don't know, happy I suppose. More than happy. I just can't compete with that." Alex shut her eyes briefly as she rolled her lip between her teeth. "God, you're such an idiot." She turned to him and her face softened. She reached out and touched his cheek. "I was happy. Because I knew I'd see you today. And I finally told Florian how I felt about you. It made it real, I think, to tell someone else." Her feather light touch on his cheek distracted him and her words left him bewildered. "How you felt? About me?" "Yes, darling. I'm sure if you think about it, it'll come to you." A tiny smile played over her lips and Matt furrowed his brow. Now it was his turn to feel bewildered. How did she feel about him? He swallowed as a notion wormed itself into his head. "You said... you said why does everyone you love land up in hospital. Alex... do you love me?" She actually blushed, and dropped her eyes to examine the hem of his hospital gown. "I... Well, yes. I suppose I do." And just like that, he was floating, and it had nothing to do with strong pain medicine or the cotton wool in his head. "And you told your ex. You told him you were in love with me." "Well, yes. I sort of, kind of did." She grinned. "Blimey." "Indeed." Her hand inched its way over to where his rested on the bed covers and she twined her fingers in his. Matt suddenly couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. As her eyes fluttered up to his and she wiped at them self-consciously with the back of her hand, he wondered if he'd ever stop smiling again. "Well... Aren't you going to say something?" "Crikey." A bit of a laugh bubbled out of her. "More than that, darling." "Christ, Alex, I'm bloody speechless, is all. I'm so, so gone for you, there could never be anyone else, I hope you know that. And I'm serious. I was driving up to LA trying to plan the whole time what I was going to say to you, because I needed you to know that this wasn't some sort of puppy love or just lust, well, there is lust, believe me, there's a lot of lust, but I love you, Alex. So much. I can't... words can't..." He squeezed her hand and tried to implore her with his eyes. "And to know you feel something like that, for me, it's bloody marvellous." "I am sorry, though. For being such an idiot. I tried to tell myself I wasn't falling for you." She let out a sigh. "I thought, if only I could get you out of my system. I'd shag you, and that would be it." His eyes widened. "You naughty girl, Kingston. You knew you were going to jump me when

you showed up at my door all those weeks ago." "Quite right, darling." She grinned. "Aren't you a lucky boy." As his thumb rubbed circles over her palm, he said, "the luckiest."

Chapter 10 Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes

"I think that about wraps it up," the reporter said as she turned off her recording device and stuffed her notes in her bag. "I really appreciate you taking the time out of your break to do this. And, of course, the interview won't mention your, um, current location—as was agreed upon." Matt stood with her and reached out to shake her proffered hand. He winced a little at the ache in his right shoulder. "Oh, of course. No trouble, really. Especially after I blew off the original interview with your person back home." He grinned a little sheepishly. "I'm so sorry about that, really I am. I don't know what I was thinking. I was... I had a lot on my mind." The woman gave him a knowing smile. The late morning light that flooded Alex's little solarium made the reporter's white-blonde hair shine as brightly as her teeth. "Well, whatever it was, I'm sure it was important. Actually..." She raised an eyebrow as she looked around the flowery room, "I was wondering, completely off the record, obviously, but there were rumours floating around, and then there was that kiss that was photographed..." Matt flushed and began to fiddle with his hands. He knew it was a bad idea to do the interview with EW here at Alex's house. Moffat had insisted he make up the one he'd purposely avoided after the kiss incident as penance for being run over by a car and taking two weeks off from filming, and Alex, who'd been mothering him to death since the accident, not that he minded, had insisted he not leave the house without her. He glanced uneasily away from the keen look the reporter was giving him and coughed. "I can't confirm or deny any rumours you may or may not have heard regarding Ms. Kingston and myself—" "But I can." Matt's head shot up and he saw Alex at the door to the sunroom, eyes bright and beautiful, and her smile enough to rob a poor man of his last breath. "Alex..." Alex sauntered into the room and stuck out her hand for the other woman. "Hello, Ms—?" "Jones, Helen Jones," the reporter said, a tiny flush staining her tan cheeks as Alex warmly clasped her hand. "It's a great pleasure to meet you Ms. Kingston." Slipping her arm through his, Alex placed a lingering kiss on Matt's cheek. "Off the record, Ms. Jones." The sound of her voice so close sent a thrill through him. "Now, if you don't mind, Mr. Smith and I have a prior engagement." "Oh. I... Yes. Of course. I'll just show myself out, then." Matt was too focused on Alex's smirk to pay attention to the reporter's hasty exit. Alex grinned, apparently amused by his surprise, and then she pulled his head towards her with two fingers on his jaw and pressed a kiss to his lips. She kissed him again, lingering just a little longer, sending a tingle of warmth through him down to his groin. "Is she gone?"

"Oh, I bloody hope so," Alex said with another kiss, her tongue licking at his bottom lip. She was about to lean into him again, but Matt held her back just a fraction. "What was all that about?" "I knew she wouldn't leave until she got what she came for. Thought I'd cut to the chase." "Yes, but... you do realise, off the record or not, she'll find a way to publicize it—you know, a close 'friend' said... or a source that wishes not to be named said.... You've just blown our cover, love." "I know." She smirked. Matt sputtered. "But I thought... You're not worried, then? About what the press might say?" With a little sigh, she brushed her fingers through the fringe of his hair, carefully avoiding the spot where his stitches had recently been removed. "We've told the most important people. Salome is... adjusting to the idea. Moffat could care less and the rest of our friends and family are biding their time to say 'I told you so'. What does it matter, now, what everyone else thinks? And honestly, I just don't want to care anymore. I want to be able to go out with you—to show you LA, the places I love, and not give a fuck about what people are speculating. This way, there's nothing more to speculate." She gave him a pout. "I didn't think you'd mind..." "Honestly?" He said as he rubbed his thumbs across her shoulders, browned and slightly freckled by the sun, "I think it's bloody brilliant." "Then kiss me, darling." He did. With a smile as wide as his face would allow, he kissed her. The both dissolved into giggles. "So... what's this prior engagement you were talking about?" Alex grinned and smirked and laughed. "Since Salome has been safely deposited with her father for the weekend, and you're healing up nicely," she patted a faded bruise that marked the side of his face, "I thought we could shag on every horizontal surface in my house. And perhaps some of the vertical ones." Choking on a cough, Matt said, "Christ! And here I thought you were dying to be out and about." "After shagging." Laughing, he said, "Can't say no to that." Matt reached his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. "I say we start right here." Alex had no choice but to hum her response as he pressed his lips to hers in a hard kiss. When he felt her relax against him, the kiss turned languid and potent, setting fire to his blood. He hoisted her up and placed her on the wrought iron table, deftly lifting her skirts and sliding his hands up her thighs to complete the manoeuvre. Her lips on his and his hands full of firm thighs, Matt pressed his body against her, splaying her legs apart, and the delicious heat from between her legs made him delirious. He bucked into her a couple of times and broke the kiss with a gasp. Then, he gently moved her until she was lying flat. He helped her lift her hips to do away with her

knickers. The lacy briefs, a deep blue, tangled a bit on the heel of one of the strappy sandals she was wearing, but after a few tugs, he had it free. He brought them up to his nose and sniffed. Alex rolled her eyes. "God, you're awful." "Can't help that I love what you smell like." He tossed the knickers behind him and ran his fingers across the light spray of hair above her slit. "I also love how you taste." Alex hissed as his fingers slid between her folds and Matt felt a bubble of joy rise up inside him at being able to see her like this: relaxed and opened up for him, every part of her bathed in sunlight, and her trust fully in his capable hands. With one last kiss to the tip of her nose, making her giggle, he dipped his head between her thighs and started working her over with his tongue while his fingers slid up inside her. It didn't take long to send her keening over the edge and feel her body jerk and spasm through her climax. As Alex lay panting, coming down from her high, Matt carefully undid the row of little buttons up the front of her sundress and pulled the material aside to reveal the rest of her body. He loved the curve of her waist where it widened into the top of her hips, and the light gold of her skin above her tan line entranced him. He helped her slip out of the dress and remove her bra, and as he ran his hands up and down her sides and across her belly, he pulled one of her perfect nipples into his mouth. He felt Alex sigh as he sucked on her breast and savoured her texture and taste. Then she pushed a little at his shoulders and he released her with a last reluctant suck. Alex moved him aside and got up from the table. At his confused look, she said, "Maybe not every horizontal surface—I'm afraid if we don't move this somewhere else, I'll have a wrought iron pattern branded onto my arse." Matt laughed a little sheepishly, but caught his breath when she walked away with a swing of her hips and directed a 'come hither' look over her shoulder. He no more keep from following her through the house and up the stairs to her bedroom than he could stop breathing. The twinge in his ankle and the ache in his shoulder be damned; they'd had hurried, furtive sex a few times since the accident, and Alex had kept apologising every time he so much as winced, but now that the house was empty and his aches had faded to a mere annoyance, he wanted to make slow, deliberate love to his woman. He grinned at the thought. Alex Kingston, completely naked and crawling backwards onto her king sized bed, inviting him to join her with a crook of her fingers, was his woman. He had no clue what the future might hold for them, but here in this time and place, she was his, and he was undeniably hers. Matt hopped to remove his shoes, then stripped himself from his shirt, trousers and briefs so he could stretch out on top of her, skin to skin. "That's better," Alex said, her lips tilting up in a smirk. She arched her neck and stole his lips in a kiss that left his heart pounding in his chest, and her hands ran up and down his back in long strokes. Matt groaned at her touch, bucking his hips, his erection pressing down into her soft belly. His hands came up to her face and he held her still so that he could kiss her deeply. He stroked the inside of her mouth with his tongue and she answered him by sucking hard on his bottom lip and tugging at it with her teeth. He felt her hands move down to squeeze his arse, her nails digging

lightly into his flesh sent shocks of electricity to his groin and the tip of his painfully hard cock. "Christ," he said with a whine as he buried his head into the curve of her shoulder, "I wanted to take this slow, I want to worship every centimetre of your body, but I don't think I can. I need you so fucking badly." "You can worship me later, darling," Alex said, her voice low and husky in his ear, "I'm more than ready for you." She reached down between them and wrapped her hands around him, making him gasp, then, as she shifted her hips and hooked her legs high around him, she guided him into her. Matt pushed deep, filling her up with every inch of his cock and they both let out a groan at the intensity of the connection. "Fuck," he said as the fog in his brain cleared for a split second, "no condom." Alex arched beneath him. "It's all right. I'm not shagging anyone else—you?" Matt considered her for a moment, the way she surrounded him in every way possible and the way she'd slipped into his heart without so much as a by your leave. "You daft woman. I'll never shag anyone else ever again. Not if you'll keep letting me do this..." He twisted his hips and made her moan his name. "Don't ever stop, darling. I don't think I could stand it." He bucked into her again, angling up at the end of his thrust and Alex sucked in her breath. Matt kissed his way up her shoulder and neck to claim her mouth once more as they began to move in tandem. She met each of his thrusts with a tilt of her hips, following his slow and steady rhythm until he felt her grow taut and start to shake. Matt felt his own climax approach like a tidal wave. He hitched her legs higher so that they were almost by his shoulders, and he strained upwards as he pounded into her. Alex twisted her head from side to side, her eyes shut tight as she bit her lip to keep from crying out. "Alex," he said between breaths, "fuck, look at me, come for me, let go..." With one had to prop himself up, he used the other to pull her hand down between them and guided her fingers to her clit. Then he reached for her breast and palmed the soft flesh. "You feel... Christ... fucking amazing. Never, never in my life..." He was losing control. His hips snapped back and forth erratically and he could no longer hold the wave back. With one last, deep thrust, Matt groaned loudly as his climax rushed over him with a roar and he pumped his seed deep inside her. Alex squeezed her legs around him painfully, drawing him deeper inside her, and her eyes snapped open as she let out a cry with her own release. Finally, Matt collapsed on top of her. It took a few minutes for him to catch his breath, and he felt completely boneless and wrung out. His shoulder hurt like hell, too, and he was only just noticing the pain. It didn't matter, though, because in that moment of his release, he'd been as close to nirvana as he'd ever be likely to get. He was wrong, though, because as Alex shifted and stretched beneath him, her eyes bright and the smirk gracing her lips an exceptionally satisfied one, she mouthed, 'I love you', to him.

One Year Later... "God, darling, your phone has been ringing for the last five minutes. Could you please get up and answer it before I find it and throw it out the window." Matt groaned. His head hurt and his body ached from top to bottom. He blinked as he rolled over and stared at the clock on the bedside table. "Jesus Christ. It's not even six o'clock yet. You'd think they'd have waited to call at a decent fucking hour." Alex lifted her head, her mop of curly hair falling in a tousled heap over her eyes. "I'm sure they knew hours ago—I'm surprised they waited this long. Which one is it, anyway?" Wiping sleep from his eyes and wincing from the pounding in his skull from his hangover, he fumbled for his phone to put an end to the loud beat that was doing nothing to help his headache. He squinted at the caller ID and let out a dry chuckle. "Sorry, love, but you owe me ten quid. It's Jenna." Alex parted her hair and stared at him. "I would have thought Kaz, or Steven, but Jenna? She's always so unassuming." "It's always the quiet ones," Matt said before he put the phone to his ear. "Hello, sweetheart, what can I do for you on this lovely morning." "Matthew," Jenna's voice was clipped and slightly mocking, "according to the Mail, congratulations are in order." "You really shouldn't believe anything you read in that rag." "Normally I wouldn't, except I'm also reading it in the Guardian and the Times. I hesitate to even open my copy of the Sun. This one says that life imitates art as Doctor Who star Matt Smith weds Alex Kingston in Vegas. Vegas? Are you kidding me?" Matt rolled over and stretched out in the hotel bed with a grin. He looked over at his wife, who had flopped back down into her pillows with a groan. Even now he couldn't get over that she'd agreed to this insane plan. "It's no big deal, really. We didn't want to make a big production out of it." "Big production?" Jenna said with a splutter. "You're trending on twitter, for god's sake. Worldwide." Giggling, Matt said, "The Moff will be pleased at least." "However did you convince Alex that you'd make decent husband material?" Matt thought it might have had something to do with the fact that he'd made the proposal while his head was between her legs, but he didn't care to admit that to Jenna. "I've no idea, but let's hope she doesn't come to her senses anytime soon, eh?" "Personally I think she's bloody mental, but whatever makes her happy... And for some unfathomable reason, you do seem to make her happy."

Smiling, he reached out and wound his fingers into Alex's hair and massaged her scalp. She hummed in pleasure and stretched like a cat. "It's all your fault, you know. You were the one who made me realise how mad I was for her." Jenna sighed. "Well, don't tell anyone, but I'm very happy for you both. You beat the odds and told all those naysayers to fuck off, and you continue to prove them wrong. So for that, I applaud you." "Thank you. That means a lot, coming from you." "Don't push it," Jenna said. "Would I be if I asked for an exceedingly small favour?" "A little bit. But spit it out—what do you need?" "Could you tell the rest we'll throw them a big party when we get home so we can get a load of pressies, but for now I'm gonna ignore my phone and focus entirely on my new wife and family." Jenna laughed. "All right, but you both owe me. Tell Alex I send my love, and my offer still stands if she ever gets sick of you." After saying good bye to Jenna, Matt turned his phone off and rolled over to take Alex into his arms. She snuggled up to him and wrapped a leg over his hip, dragging him even closer. "You know, wife," he said, "I believe we might have at least another hour before your mother can't contain Salome any longer, and the kid comes flying in here to wake us up." "Mm, better put our pyjamas on then." "But I want to shag my wife," Matt said as he kissed her neck below her ear. "I'm so tired—you kept me up all night," she said with a whine. "And we'll have plenty of time after we've packed mum and Salome off back home later. Then three whole days of honeymoon, darling, and you can have your way with me." "That's what you get for marrying someone almost half your age." She snorted. "Hardly. When I'm old and senile you'll be able to wipe the drool from my mouth and feed me my dinner." "And kiss your wrinkled lips and fondle your saggy boobs," he said. "And shag you until your poor old bones rattle." Alex groaned as she burrowed back into the blankets, her hair tickling his nose as she pressed close to him. After moment, he could hear her soft snores and feel the puffs of air against his chest as she slipped back into sleep. Matt resigned himself to staring up at the ceiling of their Vegas hotel room. There was no hurry to start the rest of their lives.

Chapter End Notes

That's all she wrote, folks. Sorry about the sappy HEA, but I just couldn't help myself with this one. Thank you all the kudos, likes and especially the comments - which kept me going until the end.

End Notes

Disclaimer: Don't own Doctor Who. Don't know anything about the personal lives of Alex Kingston, Matt Smith or any of the Doctor Who cast. Really don't want to know, either. This is fictional. I made this up. I like making things up.

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