Maxim Australia 2014-11

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ISSUE 40 NOVEMBER 2014

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NOVEMBER 2014 #40

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UP FRONT Meet sexy Arrow star Celina Jade, learn to be a better man with MAXIM TV’s Kerls, all the latest in speakers, sneakers, bourbon and beer, and we chat to the iconic Ray Liotta.

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HEALTH + FITNESS With MMA’s popularity surging, is the so-called sweet science in trouble? What happened to the days when the winner killed their opponent? Plus our tips for your own boxing workout.

game ever out of the water? Does the new Call Of Duty make up for the last one? And finally an alien game worth our time.

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TECH All the new tools and toys you need immediately – from power saws, to ultra HD TVs, to the latest in tablets – and how to convince your missus you need them.

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MASCOT MADNESS For some, dressing up as a giant animal and parading around a packed sports stadium is an actual job. We infiltrate the crazy world of baseball mascots to find out more.

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TRAVEL We travel to Vietnam and discover a whole new world of fear… and a whole lot of reasons to forget your fears: monkeys, cheap suits, and beautiful women.

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RATED Guy Pearce talks his debut album 30 years in the making, Slash makes a horror flick, Emily Blunt kills Tom Cruise, and we hit the casino with the boys from Let’s Be Cops.

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GAMES Is DRIVECLUB the game that will blow every other racing

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FASHION Ditch the black suit and look fancy as hell in a colourful new velvet ensemble. You’ll be the envy of every bloke who sees you and probably finish the day in bed with a model. Possibly.

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SEX How to make your one night stand keen for a repeat performance … or at least make your lady friend feel like you know what you’re doing.

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THE END Reece Mastin has … 24 hours to live

MAXIM AUSTRALIA PHONE +612-7900-6786 MAIL PO Box 230, Double Bay NSW 1360 EMAIL [email protected] WEB www.maxim.com.au FACEBOOK maximau TWITTER maxim_AUs INSTAGRAM maxim_aus YOUTUBE maximaustralia

COVER PHOTO: CONTOUR BY GETTY IMAGES

STUFF THAT KEPT US SANE THIS MONTH... Booze, booty calls, broken bones, and BIG racks!

Our E-i-C, Santi, hits the bar with his new best mate Guy Pearce. For more GP goodness see page 48.

MAXIM TV fitness guru Garfield has a crack at training with the Rugby Sevens. Cracked bones, that is.

MAXIM TV host James “Kerls” Kerley dishes out some (unneeded) man advice to legendary SBS football broadcaster Les Murray.

EDITORIAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Santi Pintado ([email protected]) ASSOCIATE EDITOR Scott Keenan ([email protected]) ART DIRECTOR Luke Shaddock ([email protected]) GROOMING EDITOR Shonagh Walker MOTORING Bill Varetimidis GAMING & TECH Chris Stead STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Wayne Daniels CONTRIBUTORS James Kerley, Seth Porges, David Alm, Jeff Foss, Lauren Viera, Jodie Peter, Davy Rothbart, Dan Steiner, Stephanie Radvan PHOTOGRAPHERS Ted Emmons, Travis Rathbone, Jamie Chung, Ture Lillegraven, Ryan Michael Kelly

ADVERTISING NATIONAL ADVERTISING MANAGER Drew Haywood ([email protected]) ACCOUNT MANAGER Lisa Sheerin ([email protected])

MAXIM TV co-host Lana Kington gets her hands on a big rack... of ribs at Hurricane’s Grill in Sydney's Darling Harbour.

The MAXIM Gives Back segment on MAXIM TV, featuring our girls Tamika & Britta, is proving quite popular on the streets of Australia.

Lana talks booty calls with sexy Aussie DJs, and HOT 100 stars, The Faders. Catch MAXIM TV on ONE HD every Thursday night at 10:30pm.

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NUCLEAR MEDIA MANAGING DIRECTOR: Michael Downs MARKETING DIRECTOR: Natalie Downs

© 2014 Maxim Inc. The name "MAXIM" and the MAXIM logo are registered trademarks of Maxim Media Inc., and used under license by Nuclear Media and Publishing. All rights reserved. The United States edition of Maxim is published monthly by Maxim Inc.

CHAIRMAN AND CEO, BIGLARI HOLDINGS INC.: Mr. Sardar Biglari VP OPERATIONS, MAXIM INC.: Gretchen Tibbits MAXIM WORLD WIDE BRAND LICENSING INTERNATIONAL PUBLISHING MANAGER: Stephanie Marino INTERNATIONAL RIGHTS CO-ORDINATOR: Catherine Baxter

UP FRONT

Jade

PHOTO: TED EMMONS

Playing master archer Shado in super hero series Arrow, this beauty is honing her skills by aiming a shot directly at our hearts (and, we hope, not any lower) 12

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Bikini Mikoh Earrings Ocnarf Sairutsa Bracelet State Room Jewelry Ring Soffer Ari STYLING: LAUREN CAMPANILE; HAIR: MICHAEL KANYON/ CELESTINE AGENCY; MAKE-UP: ALEXIS SWAIN/ CELESTINE AGENCY

Hometown: Hong Kong Job: Actor/Model/SingerSongwriter/Martial Artist Astrological sign: Gemini My go-to drink is Glenlivet 18, straight.

My favorite line from a movie is “Take them to the graveyard, and then maybe they’ll change their minds,” by Roy Horan in Game Of Death II. Deep stuff!

The last thing that made me LOL was watching Wipeout… Japanese-inspired TV shows are definitely out there.

The worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard was “How do you like your eggs in the morning: scrambled or fertilised?”

If I named a sandwich after myself, I would call it Fire in a Bun, a delicate Chinese bun with sweetand-sour sauce and deadly hot peppers you find only in Sichuan, China. M A X I M . C O M . A U

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UP FRONT

FACIAL FUNGUS

MOVEMEBER IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR, FELLAS: LOSE THE BEARD AND START AFRESH WITH A NICE PORN ’STACHE WHILE SUPPORTING MENS HEALTH CHARITIES. AU.MOVEMBER.COM

YOUR GUIDE TO BEARDS & THE MO M When it comes to facial hair there is a very thin line between getting it very right and completely wrong. For example: a hipster beard is great but team it with an overworn jumper and worn sneakers and it’s a hobo beard. High man-tenance mos and beards come off looking try-hard, and while stubble is a good look, untrimmed stubble with a whiff of alcohol gives the wearer a homeless feel. In short, a beard is a responsibilty and it's up to you to keep it in shape and dress the part. in the wrong hands, any beard can take you into tramp, rapey or – worst of all – paedo territory.

WHAT YOUR BEARD SAYS ABOUT YOU

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BEARDOMETER: THE FINE LINE BETWEEN TRAMP AND TRENDY

BEARDO

USHER

CHUCK NORRIS

CLOONEY

“Hello there. Wanna lift?”

“I love myself. A Lot.”

“I will beat you. At anything.”

“Testosterone runs so hot in my veins I can’t shave fast enough to keep this shit mowed.”

BOY AND BEAR

WOLVERINE

DALI

RANGA BEARD

“Yeah I can grow facial hair, just not heaps.”

“I’m part man, part he-wolf. Grrr.”

“I’m a crazy nonconformist bastard with a lot of facial grooming time.”

“No, I’m not a redhead. Yeah, I’ve got concerns.”

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HIPSTER/RAPEY IPSTER/RAPEY BEARD “I’ve spent months trying to be different by conforming to a group that’s different / I’m a little rapey.”

THE MAN WITH THE PLAN JAMES KERLEY What’s your advice for guys who want to write book? Firstly learn to write better than the f–ker who wroted this question. Then work out all your ideas and run them past friends or anyone who will listen to you and gauge which

idea is the strongest. I pitched The Man Plan to a few major publishers, one made an offer but wanted me to be their bitch and write about things I didn’t want to in a style I didn’t love so I self-published, put my balls on the line and now The Man Plan is a top 10 best seller. Can you explain the difference between Brotivation and The Man Plan? Brotivation is for the bloke who can’t be f–ked to read a book but still wants to learn and get a bit fired up and get more shit done. The Man Plan is a journey of dick jokes, life hacks and man tips for those who can be f–ked to read a book.

THE MAN PLAN AND BROTIVATION ARE AVAILABLE AT MYER, SURF DIVE N’ SKI AND ALL OK TO BELOWAVERAGE BOOK SHOPS.

What kind of beard can you grow? I’ll bust some Clooney-esque stubble out on occasion but once I get closer to the Chuck Norris I suffer an intense case of Ranga bear. What’s next up on MAXIM TV? We’ve got the Hilltop Hoods, Bondi Hipsters, ridiculous babes, tips and short cuts to kill it in life in general.

SPECIAL OFFER USE CODE: MAXIM TO GET BROTIVATION AND THE MAN PLAN DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR FOR 30 BUCKS @ WWW.THEMANPLANBOOK.COM

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UP FRONT

RIO & RENEE

Special thanks to all our mates at Sydney’s Luna Park!

LUCKY MAXIM WINNER, RIO BOND HAS A FIRST DATE HE’LL NEVER FORGET

e MAXIM inner of th the lucky w EE competition Rio Bond, EN R H E WIT erfield WIN A DAT the sexy Miss Som to cuddles up

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PHOTO: NIEL DIXON

HEN we announced MAXIM’s competition to win a date with our cover girl Renee Somerfield, we were inundated with entries. After sifting through them, the winner was clear: Melbourne lad, and huge Renee fan, Rio Bond. “I couldn’t believe it when I got the call, out of the blue, telling me that I’d won the competition,” recalls Rio. “Not only have I never been on a date in my whole life, I’d also never won a competition.” That’s right, this would be Rio’s very FIRST date. With a beautiful MAXIM model. No pressure. “She is amazing,” he says. “When

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I saw her it was like love at fifirst sight. She hugged me and was w extremely nice. Then we had lunch at The Deck, shared a few jokes, and got g to know each other a little e more.” o also got to meet Rio MAXIIM TV hosts James Kerleyy and Lana Kington “and a few other lovely MAXIIM models”, an exxperrience he calls “wonderful”. But the crew from MAXIM TV had another surprise for young Rio – an earpiece through which Kerls fed him embarrassing first date questions. Oh, and Renee had no idea. “She took it like a champ,” says our winner, who then took Renee on some rides at Sydney’s Luna Park. “I loved Renee’s reaction when we went on the Hair Raiser ride,” he laughs. “She was scared of heights and it was hilarious.” Although the date didn’t result in an engagement, Rio left Luna Park a very happy man. “My trip was an experience I won’t forget.”

UP FRONT

TAKE YOUR Breathe life back into your digital music – and unleash the purest sound quality – by employing a few of these tracktightening, musicpolishing accessories

Enlist Headphones That Don’t Compromise Pulling in pitch-perfect audio is a team effort— and what you hear is only as good as the weakest piece of gear in your setup. Handmade in Southern California from African bubinga wood, Audeze LCD-XC headphones ($1,799; audeze.com) cradle your ears with memory foam and feature planar magnetic drivers that draw every note and nuance from even the most complex songs. Want a more mobile pair? Try Sennheiser Momentum On-Ear headphones ($180; sennheiser .com). Compact and cushy, the on-ear cans (previous page) punch well above their weight class, creating highs and lows that give your bipolar ex a run for her money.

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Hi-Fi EVEN HIGHER Find an Amp to Polish Your Music Some beat-blasting basics: For you to hear the hits from your laptop, the computer must first translate a digital track into an analog sound wave. This is serious work, something that most sound cards, well, suck at. A work-around: Plug your computer into a combination amplifier/digital-toanalog convertor (DAC). These musicmaking middlemen create a more accurate representation of tracks and give your computer the smarts to play highresolution songs. Our favorite? The retro-cool Woo Audio WA7d Fireflies Duo (from $1,199; wooaudio .com). The tube-assisted amp reinvigorates all tracks: tightening the bass, spreading out the vocals, and making your music closer to what the artist originally intended.

WORDS: SETH PORGES PHOTO: TRAVIS RATHBONE; PROP STYLING: SHARON RYAN/HALLEY RESOURCES

WORDS: DAVID ALM; PHOTO: JAMIE CHUNG; PROP STYLIST: BRIAN BYRNE

UP FRONT

Sneak Attack Go farther (and faster) by lacing up a pair of high-tech, lightweight running shoes

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1. UNDER ARMOUR SPEEDFORM APOLLO BEST FOR: TRACK RATS

These 184g shoes are constructed in a clothing factory, with ultrasonic seams and a foam-and-rubber midsole. The result: a wicked-fast shoe suitable for speed sessions, races up to 10K, or lightningquick KFC runs. underarmour.com

2. ADIDAS ENERGY BOOST 2.0 BEST FOR: BEGINNERS

Their chunky soles absorb heavy impacts, making hard pavement feel like a rubber track. And at well under 300g, these sneakers are light enough to never slow you down. adidas.com

3. PUMA FAAS 1000

4. NIKE FREE 4.0 FLYKNIT

BEST FOR: MIDDLE MEN

BEST FOR: STYLE HOUNDS

Sporting a heel-totoe drop of 12 mm, the 1000s set up like the high-heeled kicks of yesteryear but boast a lighter, new school foam midsole that makes them extra cushy. They’re ideal for moderate distances, such as half marathons. puma.com

The lightweight Flyknits fit snug like slippers, but they go like hell during a hard workout. The elastic upper pairs with a highly responsive sole for a natural, minimalist running experience. nike.com

UP FRONT

You Don’t Know Ronaldo Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo is hands-down, feet-up, the greatest soccer player in the world. Witness the numerology behind his methodology THE NUMBER OF THE U.S. PRESIDENT RONALDO WAS NAMED AFTER (AKA RONALD WILSON REAGAN). HIS OLD MAN WAS A FAN.

$50

MILLION WHAT RONALDO EARNED IN SALARY AND BONUSES IN 2013.

$24.5

RONALDO’S AGE WHEN HE BEGAN PLAYING SOCCER, PROFESSIONALLY, FOR HIS HOME COUNTRY OF PORTUGAL’S SPORTING LISBON CLUB.

RONALDO’S AGE WHEN HE JOINED MANCHESTER UNITED IN 2003.

RONALDO’S AGE WHEN HE JOINED REAL MADRID IN 2009.

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THE NUMBER OF ADULT BEVERAGES RONALDO HAS REPORTEDLY CONSUMED IN HIS LIFETIME.

MILLION

WHAT RONALDO EARNED IN ENDORSEMENTS IN 2013.

THE NUMBER OF TATTOOS HE HAS.

NUMBER OF SIT-UPS RONALDO PERFORMS EACH DAY.

THE NUMBER OF EXECUTIVE JETS RONALDO CHARTERED FOR HIS FAMILY AND ENTOURAGE TO TRAVEL TO THIS YEAR’S WORLD CUP IN BRAZIL.

THE AMOUNT ANOTHER CLUB WOULD BE FORCED TO PAY REAL MADRID FOR RONALDO’S SERVICES, MAKING HIM THE MOST EXPENSIVE FOOTBALLER OF ALL-TIME.

THE NUMBER OF GOALS RONALDO SCORED IN 59 GAMES LAST YEAR, EARNING HIM THE FIFA BALLON D’OR AWARD. HIS POINTS SCORED WERE MORE THAN BOTH THE SECOND-PLACE (FC BARCELONA’S LIONEL MESSI) AND THIRD-PLACE (BAYERN MUNICH’S FRANCK RIBÉRY) POINTS COMBINED. WE MAY LIKE THIS NUMBER TOO MUCH.

2009

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$1 BILLION

$150 MILLION

THE AMOUNT REAL MADRID PAID MANCHESTER UNITED TO ACQUIRE RONALDO, AFTER HE’D SPENT SIX YEARS WITH THE ENGLISH CLUB.

2 0 14

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THE PERCENTAGE OF REAL MADRID’S TOTAL MERCHANDISE SALES THAT RONALDO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR.

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UP FRONT

KEEPERS Anyone can bring wine to a party; stand out by carrying a craft beer in one of these fizz- and flavourretaining growlers, tested and approved by our team. WORDS: JEFF FOSS

PORTLAND GROWLER CO. THE GRIGRI Hand-cast with extra thick walls, this ceramic growler (right) kept our beer chilled for close to 24 hours with no loss of carbonation. Testers loved how quickly they could batten down the flip-top lid (essential for freshness) and how the handle made the growler easy to maneuver. It’s the heaviest here, but, man, is it well made. $65; portlandgrowler company.com

PRO TIP “For optimal flavour, drink your growler in one sitting. Growler beer begins to deteriorate as soon as the seal is cracked. Once you’ve exposed the liquid to oxygen, the flavour starts to go downhill.” — Kevin Greer, Denver’s Baere Brewing Co.

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SHINE VESSELS WANDER AND RUMBLE Traditional in shape, this stainless steel flagon has a threaded cap for fizz retention. Its single walled build reduces weight but also insulation: It couldn’t keep our beer cold for longer than 12 hours. Still, it’s sized right. Testers loved being able to pour a pint with one hand. $50; shinevessels.com

HYDRO FLASK It looks like an overweight water bottle, but what the Hydro Flask lacks in sexiness, it makes up for in sheer utility. The broad, well-insulated bottle has an extra wide mouth for easy gulping. It kept our brew frigid for more than a day. $50; hydroflask.com

ZYTHOS PROJECT THE BRÄULER This burly beer keeper is designed to minimise foam during the filling process. Whatever the case, it kept our suds cool and carbonated for a day, and its CO2 injector (sold separately) extended the brew’s life span. Its neoprene sleeve offers added insulation. $60; thezythosproject.com

SPECIAL EDITION

ON SALE NOW WITH OVER SEVENTY PAGES OF MAXIM GIRLS FROM AROUND THE WORLD, FOUR GIANT FOLD-OUT POSTERS INCLUDING AN 18-MONTH WALL CALENDAR, THE MAXIM AUSTRALIA WOMEN OF THE WORLD MAGAZINE SHOULDN'T BE MISSED. IN STORES FROM AUGUST TO OCTOBER.

UP FRONT

Bourbon Renewal WORDS: LAUREN VIERA

Let’s be clear: there is no bad time to drink bourbon. Whether we’re sipping it on a sun-drenched dock, in a dimly lit bar, or on the couch at day’s end in honour of battles won and lost, the sweet, oaky spirit is always welcome in our glass. We investigated some new releases and found our four favourite bottles to seek out, from limited-edition blends to barrelaged offerings more mature than most millennials.

Fall into the best new batches of standout seasonal whiskeys

Jim Beam Devil’s Cut We can't get enough Devil's Cut–in moderation, obviously – Jim Beam's premium offering that utilises whiskey left trapped within the wood of the barrel. A robust drop, Devil's Cut is both complex and smooth. $39.99; jimbeam.com.au

Elijah Craig 23-Year-Old Single Barrel A whiskey that’s been sitting in the same barrel for more than 20 years should be savoured during only the most deserving moments. This bottle’s bold, oaky nose and campfire-meets-caramel kick will make them all the more memorable. $200; bardstownwhiskey society.com

Jim Beam Signature Craft 12 Year Old Jim Beam Signature Craft represents Jim Beam’s finest smallbatch offerings. Aged 12 years and 86 proof, this extra aged bourbon reveals a full-bodied and rich complexity that only comes with extensive aging. $79.99; jimbeam.com.au

Four Roses Limited Edition Small Batch Every autumn, Four Roses bottles a handful of special blends for the colder months. This year’s model is their best yet: a mix of four bourbons laced with flavours from orange zest to glazed maple. It’s smoother than a John Legend LP. $99; fourrosesbourbon.com

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UP FRONT

You know why we’re naming the Goodfellas star – who appears in new flicks Kill The Messenger and The Identical – a MAXIM icon? Outta respect!

The Icon

Ray Liotta

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Greatest Hits (clockwise): Ray in Goodfellas, Hannibal, Field Of Dreams, and Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

out in quick succession, and as we speak, you’re shooting a western miniseries in Mexico. Do you even know how many movies you’ve made? Someone told me – I think one of my daughter’s friends – that there’s 70 or 80? I have no idea.

Kill The Messenger is based on the true story of a journalist who tried to expose the government’s role in selling drugs in inner cities to raise funds to arm the Contras in Nicaragua. Did you know much about the scandal going in? Obviously, I’d heard about the Contra stuff, but no. It’s mindboggling when you think of what they did – it almost seems like fiction. With Goodfellas, people really lived like that. Speaking of Goodfellas, did you get to see real-life gangster Henry Hill, whom you played in the movie, before he passed away a couple of years ago? I did. I go to a Gold’s Gym in Venice where I would see him every now and then. He’d usually be [outside] lying against a tree, looped out of his mind.

Did he like your portrayal of him? He did. He said, “Thanks for not making me look like a scumbag.” That was exactly what he said. I’m thinking to myself, Oh my God, did you see the movie? Ratting people out, drugs, cheating on his wife… Somehow he saw it and didn’t think of it the way you and I would.

Field Of Dreams is a movie I’ve actually never seen

Goodfellas is on TV all the time. Do you ever watch it? I’ve seen it only once or twice. I was at the Aruba International Film Festival a couple of years ago, and they were doing a screening of Goodfellas, so they asked me to introduce it. I was there with my daughter, who was 14, and I said, “Yeah, sure.” I introduced it, and that was it. I started walking out, but my daughter wouldn’t move. So we sat and we watched it. She loved it. She was flipped out by it. It’s so overwhelming, especially when you see it on the big screen and to know that it’s true. Field Of Dreams turned 25 this year. Do people come up to you all the time and say, “If you build it, he will come”? You know, that’s a movie I’ve actually never seen. But yes, that, and I hear, “You’re a funny guy!” I like hearing that stuff; it means they’re watching the movies. I don’t get bothered if

people come up and recognise me. That’s just part of what it is – because when things are cold and nobody is coming up, you think, is it over? Is my run done? There was a period of time when I was in that place. You’re hot for a while, then things cool down, and hopefully you find something to bring you back again. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about women over the years? They’re always right. Things will just be easier that way. Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know? I was doing press for Killing Them Softly a couple of years ago, and they asked me a question about Brad Pitt. I jokingly said, “Oh, Brad, he’s a hack.” And those motherf–kers took it really serious, and the next thing you know, it spread like wildfire. I want to let everybody know that I was just fooling around. I really like Brad!

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Machines LaFerrari translates, simply enough, to “the Ferrari.” In other words, the company is not so subtly declaring that this is the Ferrari, the $1.4 million manifestation of its philosophy, technology, and design heritage. That heritage includes a line of such true Ferrari supercars as the GTO, F40, F50, and the Enzo Ferrari. And securing a spot in that pantheon means the LaFerrari must smite those that came before. To pull that off, Ferrari’s engineers sought inspiration from the electric power that propels Formula 1 racecars around the track. The hybrid engine they created for this street-going Ferrari packs 949 horses – that is, about 200 more than those F1 racers. These total system horses arrive with a one-two punch: a 789-hp, 6.3-liter V-12 mated to a 160-hp electric motor. A seven-speed, dual-clutch automated manual transmission sends abusive force to the rear wheels, right up to a shrieking 9,250 rpm redline. Regenerative brakes suck up energy and return it to a lithium-ion battery that actually helps support the car’s carbon fiber structure. That feathery material, created in the same

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autoclaves as Ferrari’s F1 cars and handassembled by engineers, helps hold curb weight to 3,285 pounds. It also gets centrefold exposure inside the LaFerrari’s cabin, accessed via a set of wing doors. Inside, drivers perch limbo-low with only custom-fitted padding between their bulging, um, wallets and the carbon tub – all the better to feel the physical forces assaulting their bodies. Pilots manage most of the Ferrari’s techno-array via a squaredoff F1– style steering wheel, including the manettino switch that toggles settings for the throttle, transmission, and electronic rear differential, as well as the F1 stability and traction systems. The result? A 2.9-second surge to 60 mph, a sub-10-second quarter mile at more than 150 mph, and a top speed of 217 mph. But the car’s animalistic performance stats are beautifully juxtaposed

with its impeccable design. A fighter-jet greenhouse perches atop a voyeuristic assemblage of swoops, ducts, curves, and valleys. Side mirrors protrude like a set of Martian antennae. A dizzying array of active aerodynamics— including underbody flaps and a saucy rear wing—unfurl at speed, Batmobile-style, to smooth drag, boost braking force, or pin the LaFerrari to the ground. Even by Ferrari’s forbidden-fruit standards, cleverly designed to strangle supply and enhance its appeal to the customer,

SPEC CHECK

the LaFerrari is something special. To ensure that the car's power and glory aren’t wasted on dilettantes or speculators, a buyer must have a collection of at least five Ferraris, two of which were purchased new, to even be considered LaFerrari material. While we’re just saying hello to the production LaFerrari, it’s already saying arrivederci: All 499 cars have been presold. Most of those vehicles will be tucked into supercar-stuffed garages, frrom o whi hich c the ch heyy wi w lll rocket for sightings in such h nat atur urral al hab bittat atss ass Monaco naco and d Mia iami mi.

1. POWER MOVES An F1-derived HY-KERS hybrid engine marries a 6.3 V-12 with a 120-kW electric motor; it not only produces 949 hp but also recaptures energy lost during braking to maintain efficiency—and power. ------------------------------

2. ACTIVE AERO It has more moving parts than a Cirque du Soleil show: A huge rear wing deploys under hard braking to create stability; three flaps under the front keep the car firmly planted during highspeed driving. ------------------------------

3. AT YOUR COMMAND An array of controls on LaFerrari’s F1-inspired, flat-bottomed wheel let drivers start the engine, select one of five driving modes, and even flash the turn signals. ------------------------------

4. A DASH OF CHARACTER Drivers can select a traditional tachometer display or a more trackoriented one from a 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster. ------------------------------

5. STAY SEATED Unlike most other cars’, LaFerrari’s seats are fixed in place; the pedal box and steering wheel shift forward and back to accommodate your position. ------------------------------

6. EASY ENTRY LaFerrari’s dramatically positioned wing doors swivel upward on a single hinge for a statement making display. ------------------------------

DUCT AND COVER Massive ducts on the side of the LaFerrari ingest air, channeling it to cool the engine or increase downforce – whichever the system demands. 7

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Machines 2015 AUDI S8

SPEC CHECK ENGINE

4.0 LITRE TWIN-TURBO V8 Originally, sadly, mysteriously - the S8 was once a reject, failing to make Audi Australia’s cut alongside the A8 in 2010. But with local demand so significant, Audi were forced to put it on the menu – becoming the main course of the rebooted A8 range. While it’s billed as “the ultimate in a sports luxury limo”, its turbocharged 4.0L V8 gets it off the line more like a supercar – in many cases making it a better choice for travel than a private jet. The Mercedes S63 is almost as fast, but a little flashier and a lot louder, so if you go the Audi you’d keep $100k along with some subtlety. The S8 provides a smooth ride with voice-activated Google search, satellite navigation Google Earth and night vision. Despite it being over five metres and almost two tonnes, the electric steering helps cornering feel like you’re manoeuvring over a helium cloud of feather pillows.

TRANSMISSION 8 SPEED AUTO; CONSTANT AWD POWER

382KW TOP SPEED

250 KM/H 0-100KM/H

4.1 SECONDS FUEL CONSUMPTION

10.2L/100KM

$280,000

INMOTION IM01 CONCEPT A group of Dutch students have not only designed a radical futuristic Le Mans concept, they built a prototype, and aim to break the Nurburgring lap record – a record which has stood since 1983 at 6 minutes 11 seconds. Equipped with hybrid drivetrains, all wheels are connected to each electric motor, making it a permanent four wheel drive. Power comes from a battery charged by regenerative braking and a range extender, but because a full electric drivetrain is not yet possible, it is also fitted with a rotary engine. Like the Nissan ZEOD, driver visibility is piss poor, so cameras allow the driver to see blind spots. Eventually, however, both cameras and drivers will be given the flick when an autonomous version is built. Not Cool.

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Machines 2014 ISUZU MU-X LS-T Australia is bloody big, and while many of us crash on the coasts, those who live in the outer suburbs are looking for a tough, seven-seater that will tow three tonnes, bush with the best and won’t break the bank. Such a vehicle isn’t a fantasy – add on city comforts, fuel efficiency and, dare we say, good looks, and you have the 2014 Isuzu MU-X. Although Isuzu is the tenth largest auto manufacturer in the world, its passenger car stamp in Australia is small–so it’s hoping its MU-X will create even the smallest of stampedes against the topselling Toyota Prado, Mitsubishi Challenger and

Holden Colorado 7. From the production team in Thailand, it’s been given a ‘happy’ nose and neater side profile to reduce proportions, and while city owners will be frustrated with the large turning circle–caravan owners will be happy as Yogi Bear when they go camping. Perhaps only the MU-X and Hugh Jackman know what it’s like to be both rugged and sensitive. It's a big, bruising, yet smooth cruiser closely related to the D-MAX that takes you back to when you were a kid thinking you could climb anything, survive everything and outrun everyone.

Isuzu was founded in 1916 by the Tokyo Gas Company

SPEC CHECK ENGINE

3.0 LITRE 4 CYLINDER TURBO DIESEL TRANSMISSION 5 SPEED MANUAL/ AUTOMATIC POWER

130KW FUEL CONSUMPTION

8.4L/100KM

$49,990 34

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Machines 2014 YAMAHA SR400

SPEC CHECK ENGINE

Back in the 1970’s the original SR400 was welcomed with open wallets by the Aussie motorcycle community as demand was strong for a reliable working man’s bike. But from ’78 to ’82 there were only a few thousand on the streets, leading to small importers (legally) shipping them in to satisfy demand for customizable ‘café’ racers. Today, Yamaha have kept their retro recipe, equipping the SR400 with just a kick starter which may confuse younger riders reaching for a starter button that isn’t there – and despite a price nearing $10g’s, Yamaha aren’t worried about strong competition from the Royal Enfield Continental GT that comes with an electric start.

SPEC CHECK

2014 BMW S 1000 R

ENGINE

999CC LIQUID-COOLED, DOHC, 4 CYLINDER TRANSMISSION

6 SPEED WET CLUTCH POWER

118KW FUEL CONSUMPTION

17.5 LITRES WET WEIGHT

207KG SEAT HEIGHT

814MM

$18,990 36

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You’d be forgiven for thinking the S1000R looks almost identical to the S1000RR, the only differences are the missing handlebar – and R. BMW Motorrad has manipulated the power delivery of the S1000R to ensure torque becomes its main weapon. This, along with the constant throttle quickshifter which can stretch like a yoga instructor makes for the ultimate ride. All Australianspec versions come with Rain, Road, Dynamic and Dynamic Pro riding modes, while the standard comes with ignition key-adjustable compression.

Its simple set-up means even the most amateur rider can carry out service and maintenance on their own – especially with the fitted balance centre stand. Elsewhere, not only is the engine a carbon copy of the original, the teardropshape fuel tank is virtually identical – the only difference being a larger capacity of 12 litres. Due to no oil sump, the oil stays in the frame, meaning weight is kept low which is ideal for lane filtering; now legal in NSW – unlike back in the 1970s.

399CC, LIQUID-COOLED, SOHC, SINGLE-CYLINDER TRANSMISSION 5 SPEED CHAIN DRIVE POWER

17KW SEAT HEIGHT

785MM WET WEIGHT

174KG FUEL CAPACITY

12 LITRES FUEL CONSUMPTION

3.8L/100KM

$8999

HEALTH

FITNESS

Boxing WORDS: JODIE PETER

THE HISTORY I learned first handedly the joys of boxing when I trained with super talented and well-known MMA star Neil Diesel. Gloves on, pounding away on a bag, focused and in control of where to make your mark and landing the perfect jab, cross and hook, every tension in your body just melts away on impact. Boxing, also known as the sweet science, has roots that go all the way back to ancient Greece and Rome. Back then, fights would take place without gloves only leather strapped on to the hands. This resulted in even more gruesome, deadly battles.

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The first documented “boxing match” took place in 1681 in Britain when the Duke of Albemarle engineered a bout between his butler and his butcher. Seriously. Jack Boughton, also known as “the Father of Boxing,” developed the first set of rules for the sport and published them in 1743 after a bout in 1744 where he killed his opponent. People learnt the sweet science the hard way. The most revolutionary change in the sport came in 1865 when John Sholto Douglass, the Eighth Marquess of Queensbury, drew up new rules of boxing which basically transformed the sport into what it is today. Regarded as the “Patron Saint” of boxing, the most significant changes he made were three-minute rounds and the regulated use of approved boxing gloves. In 1927 the National Boxing Association (NBA) became the first “sanctioning body” to govern over the sport. These sanctioning bodies ranked fighters and arranged matches between champions and the most deserving challengers, all for a healthy sanctioning fee of course. Today, three “recognised” sanctioning bodies control the world of boxing.

The WBC, IBF and WBA are the only bodies whos fighters are recognised worldwide as “champions’’.

BOXING SALARIES In the never-ending battle between the two biggest fighting sports in the world, mixed martial arts (MMA) and boxing, MMA might be the more popular culture right now but boxing is still the king when it comes to generating big paydays. The highest paid MMA fighter in 2010 was Brock Lesnar. For his troubles, the professional wrestler turned mixed martial arts heavyweight champion earned $5.3 million. Given the amount of punishment that MMA fighters typically take in endure during a fight, many were caught off guard at just how small the total earnings are for this top sport. Boxer Manny Pacquiao, earned $32 million last year. Even though he didn’t fight Floyd Mayweather Jr, he generated over six times the income of the highest paid MMA fighter. So what’s going on here? MMA is more popular yet boxers get paid triple or quadruple a martial artist’s salary? (See panel on left)

THE DECLINE OF BOXING DUE TO MMA Why is MMA increasing in popularity at such a rapid rate while boxing is slipping into irrelevancy in terms of popular mainstream sports? The merits of MMA and the public’s increased ease with the violence involved in the sport have been huge factors in its rise to prominence. When you consider that MMA has only come into mainstream consciousness in the western world in the last five years, its rapid ascendency is quite staggering. It’s also what the fans want. Back in the heavyweight

boxing days, fans would rock up to see Tyson and Ali, now the great heavyweights are thin on the ground. As the iconic boxing pundit Bert Sugar so perfectly put it, “The best American heavyweights are named Ray Lewis and Brian Urlacher they’re over 250 pounds (113 kg), and they can make money.’’ MMA fights are more intriguing to watch, there are less rules and it's far more violent than boxing. People like watching real-life blood baths. With thinner gloves, the use of elbows, knees and feet allowed, as well as striking on the ground, boxing defensive techniques become redundant here. When a fighter goes to the ground, the booing will begin quickly if his opponent does not quickly lay down a torrent of blows. The fighters may be in the middle of a tactical bout, attempting to gain position and posture through wrestling or working for submissions, but the fans just want to see them smash each other. Top South African mixed martial artist Boyd Allen adds, “MMA is the fastest growing sport but boxing has been and always will be around for ages. Boxers still get paid very well if you’re at a high level. I think MMA has affected boxing in a great way, it’s had to keep up and start putting on bigger fights and better shows in order to compete with martial arts.’’

THE VERDICT? A timeless, ageless workout, boxing will remain the sweet science of combat. Everyone should have some sort of boxing in their training. It falls into the same category as running and cycling, everyone tries it but it may or may not be for everyone. Studies have shown that people are opting more for a fitness programme led by an instructor, that way they feel they have accomplished a good workout held together by someone with experience and a voice for motivation. If you’re old school, stick with boxing, the new school likes it rougher with MMA.

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HEALTH

FITNESS

Movements

It’s a hot workout that consists of good selfdefence; de-stressing and it can be used in any form of training. Punching gloves? Check. Wraps? Check. Punching bag. Check. It’s clobberin' time!

1. JAB

A jab is an important punch in any fighter’s game, it’s vital because it keeps your opponent off stride and doesn’t allow him to commit. To land a good jab you need to step in with the punch. Turn knuckles in, as fast as it comes out it must come back to the chin faster. Keep your chin tucked away under your shoulder. A good jab is a fast jab; it must never stop working in the fight. It sets up the knockout!

JAB

CROSS

2. CROSS

A good cross is always followed after a good jab. A cross needs to be accurate and on the mark. Get your entire body behind the punch by bringing your hips through as the punch goes from you chin. Hip rotation is important when you throw your cross because it generates a lot more power and helps you to hit the ‘mark’.

3. UPPERCUT & HOOK A good cross is always followed after a good jab. A cross needs to be accurate and on the mark. An uppercut like a hook is a great punch used when your opponent is a forward fighter. The reason being it is usually the third punch of the combo that fighter’s don’t see. The uppercut or hook needs to be thrown as quickly as possible as it can tend to leave you open. Get good angles to execute these punches. Get under your opponents attack or step to the side so you can strike him with an uppercut or hook he can’t see. Usually hit through his defence when using an uppercut or hook.

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UPPERCUT

M

CROTCH-PUNCHING KIDS! INFERNO-LIKE COSTUMES! DEATH-DEFYING STUNTS! SURE, BEING A MAJOR-LEAGUE BASEBALL MASCOT GETS YOU FREE HOT DOGS, BUT IT’S SERIOUS WORK. JOEL ZIMEI, A.K.A. LOU SEAL OF THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS, TOOK US UNDER HIS FLIPPER AND TAUGHT US WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A SULTAN OF SILLY

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A

S

C

O

T

Lou Seal shows the author how to do the Running Man properly while wearing 13 kilos of carpet

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he first rule of mascoting is obvious: Don’t take off your head in public (kids will freak out). The second rule doesn’t hit me until I’m sitting beside a 6’2” anthropomorphic seal on public transit: Don’t forget people expect ham, lots of it, at all times. Today I’m escorting Lou Seal, a fuzzy grey manimal in king-size sunglasses and a San Francisco Giants jersey, to a charity drive, and we’re running late—our train is stalled underground near AT&T Park. As commuters grumble, Lou does the Running Man, pops ’n’ locks, and knocks out a few pull-ups on the train’s overhead bar. When an off-duty Muni driver approaches holding up his cell phone like Lloyd Dobler and blasting Gangnam Style, Lou puts one fist over the other, rocks his shoulders, and hops on each leg, mimicking Psy’s signature move. “Thank you for making my day!” the train’s female driver squeals over the loudspeaker before we exit and scurry up an escalator onto the street. In the span of three blocks, Lou gives no fewer than 16 high-fives, five fist bumps, and one hug. I’m already convinced this guy wearing 13kgs of carpet has the best job in baseball. He rubs elbows with Hall of Famers, qualifies for the MLB pension plan, and earns a diamond-studded ring whenever the Giants take the pennant. In 2010 and ’12, Lou rode on the lead car in the Giants’ World Series victory parades. Nevertheless the guy inside the Seal is mostly anonymous. Few fans know his name, let alone what he looks like. Such is the nature of the beast. Most clubs like it that way – except the Yankees, Angels, and Dodgers, who don’t have mascots. Many teams won’t even let you talk to their performers out of costume, preferring to maintain the illusion there

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aren’t sweaty grown men inside. (Actually, I’m told two MLB mascots are played by women, but I can’t reveal which.) It’s a tight community. After 10 years in the league, a mascot receives a commemorative patch at All-Star weekend. Lou Seal even moderates a private Facebook group for current MLB mascots. They talk smack daily, sharing links and screen grabs of their coverage. Whenever someone from their “furternity” makes it onto a televised broadcast or highlight reel, it’s kind of a big deal. The more the world of mascots starts sounding like a secret brotherhood – like Yale’s Skull & Bones – the more I want in. When we first met over lunch, I asked Lou Seal (a.k.a. Joel Zimei, a 41-year-old from Long Island, New York) whether I might give mascoting a try. “I’ve gotta think about it,” explained Zimei. “Just because I’m doing something that looks fun to you doesn’t mean it’s not a lot of work. A lot of fans will treat you like you’re a wild animal. If something goes wrong…” OU SEAL DOESN’T have a locker. Zimei dresses in an unmarked utility closet at AT&T Park that’s crammed with a menagerie of Seal gear: Four spare heads sit on a shelf beside a rack of assorted 5XL jerseys, T-shirts, and one oversized orange wet suit. There are props galore, including a huge wooden bat and a giant pink ice cream cone. Lou even has his own Darth Vader helmet and cape. “I never planned this,” Zimei says of his career. “It’s just the way my life has

unfolded.” Unlike many pros, Zimei wasn’t a high school mascot. He never attended clown school. And he didn’t go through Dave Raymond’s Mascot Boot Camp, which was created 21 years ago by the original Phillie Phanatic. As a kid Zimei was a redheaded class clown. While his Uncle Manny, a mulleted disco DJ, fed Zimei VHS tapes of The Three Stooges, his dad kept urging him to become a lawyer. By 1993 Zimei had dropped out of college in Scranton, Pennsylvania, getting by with odd jobs like telemarketing and assembling pool tables. At night, though, he’d tear up dance floors performing in a hiphop troupe. (Watching MTV helped him perfect the moves of MC Hammer, Bobby Brown, and Big Daddy Kane.) Everything changed one day in 1997 at a Scranton-Wilkes Barre Red Barons minor-league game. Zimei spent all nine innings armchair-quarterbacking the club’s lacklustre mascot, an Oscar the

Grouch look-alike named the Grump. “He’s not dancing! He’s not doing anything!” Zimei groaned to his friend. “How does that guy get this job?!” After the game Zimei’s friend introduced him to the Red Barons’ GM, who gave him a shot at manning the Grump. “I didn’t realise how physical the job was,” Zimei says of his first time performing while wearing the Grump’s 13kg head. “Your body needs to adjust.” Zimei spent the season earning $50 a game, stuffing his face with free hot dogs, and eventually performing alongside the Phillie Phanatic, who offered Zimei a job. The following season, after running the Phillies’ pep squad, Zimei wrote letters to every other MLB team inquiring about their mascot positions. He was invited to audition in San Francisco by the Giants, who’d whit tled their list of 100 applicants down to 10. At Candlestick Park, Zimei waited his turn with a hoodie pulled low, headphones blaring his rou-tine music, and his head bobbing like Eminem’s in 8 Mile. “Mentally,” LEFT he recalls, “I was like, Lou Seal flashes his moneymaker This is mine.” (or lack thereof) at AT&T Park in Zimei nailed his San Francisco 45-minute interview BELOW and 15-minute set The author catching air before in front of a panel catching balls of judges including S.J. Sharkie from the San Jose Sharks, Sourdough Sam from the 49ers, and Stomper from the Oakland A’s. Two weeks later Zimei got the call. He was going to the Show.

EING A MASCOT CAN be physically brutal. In a widely publicised survey conducted in 2001 at Johns Hopkins University, researchers polled 48 pro mascots, who reported a litany of injuries to their knees, ankles, wrists, fingers, and ribs. Forty-four percent of the mascots had experienced chronic lower back pain. The most common ailment? “Heat-related illness.” Half the mascots had been treated with intravenous fluids, including one who was hospitalised for dehydration. A mascot costume is basically a fuzzy portable sauna. Inside, the heat can climb five degrees above the outside temperature. Thus, the average mascot loses about 3.9 kgs per game. That’s roughly a gallon – 3.78 litres–of sweat.

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“You sweat out a lot of toxins,” he says. “This job is literally like the fountain of youth.” Zimei hydrates religiously and lays off alcohol before games. The Bay Area climate also helps. The average high/low in June: 20°C/11°C. “The East Coast is the worst place to be a mascot,” he says. “I have no idea how those guys do it.” That’s not to say Zimei’s gig is a cakewalk. During his first season, he nearly died. Rehearsing alone in his parents’ backyard by their pool, he zipped up his suit, pressed record on a video camera, and waddled onto the diving board. His plan: Flip into the pool! As soon as he hit the water, he knew he was in trouble. “I’m kicking and swinging my arms, gaining water and starting to choke,” he says. “Every ounce of energy in my entire body got me to the edge of the pool. In the video it sounds like I’m dying.” That didn’t deter Zimei from taking more risks. After his mom sewed him a Lou-sized Spider-Man outfit, he developed a bit where he dangled from a nylon rope. Eventually the front office nixed the rappeling: “God forbid something happens to you!” That’s why a few teams actually use multiple performers to play one mascot in a single game. According to Zimei, up to five different guys will share a costume. Fans—and managers—also add to the danger. In 1988 Dodgers skipper Tommy Lasorda pummeled the Phillie Phanatic after the mascot abused an effigy in a Lasorda jersey. In 1999 Baltimore’s Oriole Bird spent 40 days in a wheelchair after being pushed off the right-field bleachers in Camden Yards. And that’s just baseball. Extend the list to other pro sports and colleges and the number of incidents and injuries multiplies. Now consider this: Zimei has never

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missed a day of work. By his count he’s been Lou Seal in 1,226 straight games, which appears to be the longest streak in pro baseball. He’s the Cal Ripken (who played 2,632 consecutive baseball games) of mascots. What’s his secret? When we get back to AT&T Park, I ask Zimei to walk me through his strength-andconditioning regimen. Get this: He doesn’t have one! “The job itself is a total workout,” he explains. Zimei humours me. ABOVE The Giants are on the As Lou looks on, Papa Seal and road right now, so we Mama Seal (the author) get ready hit the weight room for the Kiss Cam for light cardio and RIGHT iron pumping before Your eyes don’t deceive you: This taking the field. Then is a man, dressed as a seal, wearing we step onto the dirt, a panda mask where Zimei demos OPPOSITE a proper Running Man The not-so-sweet smell of success. and Roger Rabbit. I’m panting, but I hide it. I want Zimei to see I’m serious. I ask him for more ground rules, aside from the no-head-offin-public policy. Zimei breaks it down: 1) Be nice to all kids. 2) Bust every dude’s chops. 3) Flirt with all women. Admirable words to live by, even if you’re not wearing a furry costume. ’M STANDING IN my underwear in the players’ parking garage. To my left is a tricked-out Audi R8 that costs more than my last three cars combined. To my right is Maureen, a blonde twentysomething wearing an orange jacket with SEALCURITY stitched on the back. Maureen is one of Zimei’s three assistants.

“Your ass is kind of big, so I’m gonna help,” she says as I straddle a pile of grey fur and an immense flowered dress. Tonight, as the Giants battle the Arizona Diamondbacks, I’ll be appearing in three skits as Lou Seal’s mom! I pull on a wife-beater with big PVC rings, which create a crucial part of my mother seal’s anatomy: the belly. Once I finish zipping the thing up, while still headless, I attempt my first “belly bump.” I thrust my hips forward while simultaneously flinging my hands under the PVC rings. Boom! Piece of cake—until I put on my head. It weighs 5 kilos. It smells funky. And I can barely see through the eyeholes. “Think: Nutty Professor’s mom,” Zimei says as we leave the garage. At the bottom of the first, Maureen carts me over to McCovey Cove, a jetty behind the right-field wall where Lou Seal

THE AVERAGE MASCOT LOSES ABOUT 3.9 KILOS PER GAME. THAT’S ROUGHLY A GALLON OF SWEAT. competes in a paddleboard race with other manimals, including a panda, a shark, and a giraffe. I post up on the rocks, and Zimei’s assistant Anthony passes me semideflated handballs, which I awkwardly launch five metres towards the water. I manage to peg Lou, who falls in ( just as planned!). I clap my hands, pantomiming my best “Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!” During the third, after Zimei has changed out of his wet suit, I ride shot- gun as we race a bullpen cart around the field. I fling souvenir hats. It feels amazing to hear thousands of people going bananas for me, even if that me is a big-boned lady seal. In the bottom of the sixth inning, I star in a Kiss Cam gag with Lou Seal’s dad, who is played by Zimei’s third assistant, a hulking dude who is also losing his mascot virginity this evening. Zimei seats us at a café behind the outfield bleachers. While

we await our cue, I wave, blow kisses, bob my head, and pose for photos. I decide that Zimei’s rule about flirting with women doesn’t apply to my character. When the time comes for my on-screen kiss, Lou Seal’s dad grabs me, leans in, and plants one on me hard— so hard, in fact, that he pinches a nerve in my shoulder. By the middle of the seventh, while Lou Seal, my hubby, and I are swaying to Take Me Out To The Ball Game, I’m spent, my neck is killing me, and the Giants are losing. After the game Zimei and I sit together on the beat-up couch in his utility closet. We’re in our underwear, drenched in sweat, chuckling about the two grown men dressed as seals who smooched. Later that night I’m back home sipping a beer, fastforwarding through the game on TiVo. Our first-, third-, and sixth-inning skits don’t make the broadcast. I fast-forward to the seventh, hoping the producers cut to the three Seals at least for a second. Deflated, I skip ahead to the postgame wrap-up. After the broadcasters finish bagging on the Giants and they throw to commercial, finally, there she is: a quick slow-motion closeup of a lady seal hurling hats! I pause TiVo, snap a photo with my phone, and text it to Zimei. I may not be a full-fledged member of the furternity, but it’s a start. ■ M A X I M . C O M . A U

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Guy Pearce I N T E R V I E W : S C OT T K E E N A N

Broken Bones is your first album, but you’ve always been musical, haven’t you? I’ve been writing songs since I was about 10. I just loved sitting at the piano and making things up, writing things, and I’ve always loved to sing. So it’s a world I feel safe in, I can be in my own little bubble. As I’ve earned money on jobs, in television or film, I’ve bought myself recording equipment. I’ve been collecting lots of songs and song ideas over that time. Some songs I will never go back to and some I keep going back to after 30 years of mucking around with them.

After years of keeping quiet about his passion for music, instead dominating the big and small screens, Guy Pearce finally releases his debut album Broken Bones

What spurred you on to actually record? In 2009 I did a play called Poor Boy and we sang Tim Finn songs in the play, with a band. Michael Barker was the drummer and he was asking me about the music that I made. I said, “Oh I make demos and that’s about it, I don’t do anything with them.” He offered to play drums on some of them and it just evolved. He ended up saying, “you need to do something with this.” He was very encouraging and inspiring and enabled me to see that I just needed to get this stuff out of my system. So we headed over to New Zealand to record some of these demos properly.

The Same

TEN Questions We Always Ask

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU HAD TO APOLOGISE FOR? There are always things that I have to apologise for, but I really don’t remember the last thing. I’ve been traveling a lot recently and I probably mucked somebody up with travel arrangements.

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Music

{} Plus a Few More

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SWEAR WORD? C–t, probably. F–k is up there as well. My wife and I do swear a lot, so... the big old C word, probably.

People would probably be surprised by how reluctant you were. There was a big, big level of reluctance. Doing music isn’t something that’s recent, what’s happened recently is the decision to crystalise it and release something, and really for me to get over the hump and the feeling of not wanting to inflict this on anyone, because I know everyone's pretty sick of actors who release music. Are they, though? There’s a lot of eye rolling. Pretty much most interviews you do it’s, “Oh you and Russell and Craig…” The thing for me is, it’s not about any of those other people, it’s about the reaction

WHAT’S THE WORST HANGOVER YOU’VE EVER HAD? When I was 15 my mother remarried and we went to a Chinese restaurant and I drank a lot of champagne. I remember being very ill and crashing out and not waking up the next day, but the day after that. And thinking I could never drink champagne again. I’ve managed to recently get back on champagne though, not that it’s a regular thing. I had some pretty bad ones on UDL Ouzo and Coke as well.

of the press – and not just the press, but they were the people we were talking to – and I would go, “No, no, no don’t worry, I won’t inflict my stuff upon you.” So I’ve been doing that for 25 years. Considering your acting choices, it seems like you don’t care what people think. Who else follows one of the biggest films ever (Iron Man 3) with an ABC TV movie (the Jack Irish series)? I think I have eclectic tastes and I just follow that. The film I just shot in Austin, Texas [Results] is probably the lowest budget film that has ever been made, let alone one I’ve done. But it was such a great script and I was really taken by it. So it was just fun to explore that.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A 1982 Datsun Sunny, a white wagon. Then I had a black Toyota 4Runner which I wrote off up near Daylesford on Easter Monday 1995. HOW BAD WAS THE ACCIDENT? It was pretty full-on, I drove off a 60-foot ravine and rolled the car into a creek bed. Awful. Luckily I was fine, strangely enough.

DO YOU HAVE A SCAR THAT TELLS A STORY? [Adopts Felicia from Priscilla voice] I’ve got emotional scars. I think the album, Broken Bones, delves into emotional scar tissue. But physical scars? I got a skateboard for Christmas, 1985, and on Boxing Day I had a really bad stack. Jim Caviezel jabbed me in the side with a sword when we were doing The Count Of Monte Cristo and I’ve got a little scar from that.

I drove off a 60-foot ravine and rolled the car into a creek bed. Awful.

GUY PEARCE’S ALBUM BROKEN BONES IS OUT NOVEMBER 7

DO YOU HAVE A PARTY TRICK? Our dogs don’t bark, they chortle and yodel and make funny noises. They’re Basenjis, African barkless hunting dogs, and when you go through your iPhone to choose the sounds, the marimba or the chimes for text messages, it starts one of our dogs off yodelling. So now our party trick is to make him do that. I can't tell if he enjoys it, though.

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST THING YOU’VE EVER PUT IN YOUR MOUTH? Last week we shot a music video in Japan for my song Taste. The director wanted a taxi driver smoking 50 cigarettes all at once. So I took a pic of me with all the cigarettes in my mouth as well. They weren’t lit, thankfully. I’m not a smoker any more so I didn’t want to inhale that much smoke.

THE ROVER IS OUT NOW ON DVD

WHAT’S THE ONE THING TO REMEMBER IN A FIST FIGHT? To duck and run, I’d say. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT? No. I was a few little punch-ups at school, on the footy field and stuff, but no. It’s not really my speed. Plenty on film though, I’m extremely violent on film.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO SEE YOU NAKED? My wife, obviously. She’s pretty much the only person these days – apart from Kate Winslet. Or maybe one of the dogs might have seen me getting out of the shower.

FINISH THIS SENTENCE: IF I RULED THE WORLD FOR A DAY, I WOULD… Create ever-lasting peace and happiness. No, I would make sure everyone had a never-ending supply of Cadbury chocolate. M A X I M . C O M . A U

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LET’S BE MOVIE STARS “Let it ride!” shouts Jake Johnson, leaning over a blackjack table at Hollywood Park Casino in Inglewood, on the south side of Los Angeles. He flashes an impish what-the-hell look at his colleague and close friend Damon Wayans Jr. and nudges a towering stack of blue and yellow chips forward while a crowd of onlookers clamour their approval. Generally, Hollywood Park’s musty casino floor is where hope goes to take an extended nap, but Johnson and Wayans are on a hot streak, and their energy has sparked the room from its slumber. Johnson downs the rest of his Jack and Coke and swivels around to slap hands with a couple of casino regulars who’ve come over to see what the ruckus is all about. “Come on,” he cries. “Let’s do this!” The dealer flips cards around the table. Wayans has 15, Johnson has 16, and the dealer shows a two, with her hole card a mystery. A young guy to Johnson’s right takes an ill-advised hit and goes bust. Wayans looks to Johnson for advice and Johnson shakes his head slightly, telling him to hold, and then holds tight himself. “That’s right,” murmurs one of the regulars, perched close behind. Here’s the moment of truth – if the dealer turns up a couple of face cards, everyone wins; if not, Johnson

and Wayans have flushed a few hundred bucks down the drain. A hush falls over the crowd as the dealer reaches for her hole card and turns up a red queen. Now at 12, she’s forced to hit, and slowly turns up the next card – another red queen – el busto! The room erupts in wild whoops of joyous celebration. Wayans trades high fives with the other winners at the table, while Johnson fist-bumps the guy behind him and turns back to sweep up his winnings. Wayans elbows his friend, grinning. “Good call, dude.” Johnson nods. “Life is good.” Remarkably, as Johnson, 36, and Wayans, 31, wind their way through the casino – the poker tables, the sportsbook, the bar, the all-night diner – they’re bothered by almost no one. It may be that a casino in South Central LA, full of tourists and hard-nosed locals, is not a hotbed for fans of New Girl, the hit Fox show featuring Zooey Deschanel that helped establish Johnson and Wayans as stars. But there’s also something about the

With starring roles in one of TV’s hottest shows (New Girl) and a hilarious new movie (Let’s Be Cops), Jake Johnson & Damon Wayans Jr. have Hollywood at their feet. Meet the new Kings of Comedy WORDS: DAVY ROTHBART PHOTOS: TURE LILLEGRAVEN

vibe they radiate – not Hollywood types preening for the camera, but just a couple of buddies out on the town, chopping it up, trying to make each other laugh – that deflects attention. If they stand out, it’s because they’re dressed like members of the Rat Pack, amid a sea of sweatpants and fanny packs. Still, they hardly draw a second glance as they steer their way back toward the blackjack tables for another go-round. That’s all likely to change very soon. Having already won over viewers on one of TV’s hottest comedies, their new action-comedy caper, Let’s Be Cops, a raw, rollicking romp that recalls ’80s hits like Beverly Hills Cop and Lethal Weapon, opens in cinemas this month. Johnson and Wayans play a pair of old friends who’ve rounded the bend into their early 30s without making a dent in their chosen careers: Johnson is a former college quarterback derailed by injury, while Wayans, who dreams of becoming a video game designer, is held down by self-doubt and a soul-crushing boss. The two men are close to throwing in the towel on big-city life and retreating to their Ohio hometown. On a lark, they hit a costume party dressed as cops, and after being

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mistaken for real cops, soon get drunk on the power of wearing badges and uniforms. When they get mixed up with a gang of gun runners and drug smugglers, they must put their skills as fake cops to the test. According to Johnson, the movie has been “blowing the roof off” at test screenings, and that’s no surprise – he and Wayans anchor a cast of comedy all-stars, including Rob Riggle (Saturday Night Live, The Daily Show), Keegan-Michael Key (Key and Peele), and smart, sexy Natasha Leggero. Like the 21 Jump Street reboot, Let’s Be Cops weaves action set pieces deftly with authentic, character-based humour, while offering a fresh twist: a buddy cop flick about guys who aren’t really cops. Dressing up as LAPD felt “badass,” Johnson says. He mentions Nick Miller, his character on New Girl, who can be painfully indecisive. “I’m actually an act-first, think-second kind of person, so it was nice to finally play a character who gets in trouble for his actions rather than his lack of action.” “To me,” Wayans says, “the message of the film is that you should never write yourself off. You should never tell yourself, ‘Oh, I didn’t make it by now – I should just give up.’ ” Johnson chimes in: “It doesn’t matter if you get a late start. You just need to get started.” Johnson speaks from experience – he was a bit of a late starter himself. The Chicago native dropped out of school in 10th grade (“mostly to smoke cheeba [pot],” he says), and worked full-time for an uncle making neon signs. After a year of “being a loser,” he returned to high school and went on to study theatre at the University of Iowa and NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. By age 26, though, he was back in Chicago, trying to figure out his next move. That’s when a friend in L.A. promised him a job – working at the Hollywood Park Casino. (It’s no accident that Johnson has requested this location for the day’s shenanigans.) “I had this old lime green Hyundai Accent that I’d bought from a friend of my dad’s,” Johnson recalls. “I put on a tape of Elton John’s greatest hits and headed west.” But in Cali, Johnson found himself living in a Hollywood dump, working a graveyard

shift at the casino, and partying way too much. He wanted to work his way into film and TV, but after a year the only role he’d landed was in a Tampax commercial. Then he met Erin, the girl who would eventually become his wife. “She kicked my ass and got my head in the game,” Johnson explains. “She pointed out that I was an actor without a head shot, just hanging out in bars.” Erin hooked him up with a catering job, which was a step up; at least he was no longer working nights and could make it to auditions. Soon, little breaks came, partly through partying with friends. One night, boozing hard with pal Derek Waters, Johnson tried to explain the crazy story of soul singer Otis Redding’s death. “I was so drunk, it took me 45 minutes to tell that story,” Johnson confesses with a smile. His wobbly storytelling became the inspiration for a Web series called Drunk History, which featured cameos from laugh titans Jack Black and Will Ferrell, among others, and eventually blossomed into a popular Comedy Central show. Johnson nabbed blink-and-you’ll-misshim roles in an Ashton Kutcher rom-com and Russell Brand’s Get Him To The Greek. Then one day he was called in to audition for a new show about a bunch of guy roommates and a girl who moves in with them, which someone had described as kind of an updated version of Friends. Johnson laughs: “I had no idea what I was getting into.” Soon, bigger movie roles came his way. He starred in Drinking Buddies, a thoughtful indie set in a Chicago brewery, where he played the love interest of both Anna Kendrick and Olivia Wilde (poor guy); director Joe Swanberg encouraged Johnson and his costars to guzzle real beers on set. Next, Johnson played a magazine writer investigating an oddball (Mark Duplass) who claims he can travel through time in Safety Not Guaranteed, which became an unexpected hit. Johnson and Wayans had hit it off on the set of New Girl, and when they were offered the chance to costar in Let’s Be

Cops, they called each other to discuss it. “I told him, ‘I’m in if you’re in,’ ” Wayans remembers. Johnson couldn’t wait to team up. “Some actors seem cool,” he says, “but when you really get to know them, you realise you’re not on the same page. They just want to be stars, and working with them can be unbearable. Damon and I, we’re not worried about being the biggest stars; we just want the project to work. If we make something great, we know we’ll both end up looking good.” While Let’s Be Cops is Johnson’s first headlining role in a studio film, he says there’s no pressure. “It’s got a big-budget feel but was made for not that much. I mean, look, they hired me and Damon instead of big movie stars, so they saved themselves some money right there. This isn’t X-Men. It’s more like The Little Engine That Could.” If Johnson and Wayans felt pressure surrounding the film, it was during production. On set, they estimate, as much as 90 percent of the dialogue was improvised. Each night, together in one of their hotel rooms, they pored over the script, riffing off each other and challenging each other to conjure up new and improved material. Johnson learned to rely on his costar’s humour barometer to measure the success of his jokes. “If everyone around us is laughing but Damon says, ‘It was just all right,’ then I get pissed off because I know he’s right and we’ve got to do it again. If no one’s laughing, but I hear Damon laughing, I know I’m onto something. We’re a team, and I trust his voice above anyone’s.” For Wayans, the shoot’s most harrowing moment came during a scene in which he has to tackle a naked sumo wrestler who’s burglarising a hardware store. “I had junk in my face!” Wayans cries, spooked by the memory. “I mean, I was looking right up his butt—I could see out his mouth!” Johnson finds this absolutely hilarious. “In the movie, those are his real balls, right?” Wayans explains that an early cut of the film actually included them, but they had to be enhanced later with CGI. “Thank God for small balls,” he says, laughing and shaking his head. “They would’ve been rolling around all over my forehead. Can you imagine? Scarred for life!”

DAMON AND I, WE’RE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME GUY,” SAYS JOHNSON. “YOU’LL NEVER SEE US IN BLACK TURTLENECKS DOING SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. 52

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Johnson and Wayans make a new friend at the Hollywood Park Casino, where Johnson used to work

On Johnson: Suit by The Kooples; shirt by Sandro; tie by Paul Smith; shoes by Mr. B.’s; socks by Calvin Klein; belt by Ferragamo; tie clip by The Tie Bar; sunglasses by Ray-Ban

On Wayans: Suit by Theory; shirt by Sandro; tie by YSL; shoes by The Left Shoe; socks and belt by Hugo Boss; sunglasses by Leisure Society

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WHEN THE STUDIO OFFERED ME LET’S BE COPS, I CALLED JAKE AND TOLD HIM, ‘I’M IN IF YOU’RE IN,’ SAYS WAYANS. 54

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STYLIST: BRUNO LIMA FOR EXCLUSIVE ARTISTS; GROOMER: ERICA SAUER USING ORIBE AND CHANEL AT THE WALL GROUP

Back when Johnson was still puffing weed in his uncle’s neon workshop, dreaming of Hollywood, Wayans was already immersed in showbiz; as a kid, he would hang out with his dad, Damon Wayans Sr., on the set of the pioneering sketch comedy show In Living Color, created by uncle Keenen Ivory Wayans, and featuring family members Kim, Shawn, and Marlon Wayans, plus their friends Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, and Jennifer Lopez. Surrounded by some of the funniest people in the industry, Junior – no big surprise – developed an itch to be onstage, with plenty of talent to burn. But the one guy he could never impress was his dad. “He was like a hard-ass soccer coach,” Wayans explains. “Total ball buster.” At 23, Junior started doing stand-up comedy, and a couple of years later joined his dad on tour. “There was one Def Comedy Jam where I really killed and got a standing ovation,” Wayans says. “I came offstage and was feeling great.” His dad asked him, How do you think you did, son? “Knowing him, and his level of expectation, I toned it down – I didn’t want to seem cocky. So I was like, ‘I don’t know…eight and a half?’ He just shook his head and said, ‘Seven,’ and walked off.” Even as the son found success in likable TV roles – Brad Williams on Happy Endings and Coach on New Girl – he never earned his dad’s raves. “He’d toss me a compliment here and there, but he’d never really give it up,” Wayans says. “He’d just be like, ‘That’s pretty good, man.’ Super low-key. I figured that was the most I’d ever get out of him.” A few months ago, though, Wayans Sr. joined Junior and Johnson in San Francisco for a few advance screenings of Let’s Be Cops. “The lights came up, and something in him had shifted,” Wayans says. “After all these years, he finally started saying all these nice things. He was like, ‘That shit’s really funny!’ Of course, he’s still my same old dad, so he had to tell me about a couple corny parts, too, but at the end of the night, we were all back at the hotel drinking champagne, and he said, ‘You know what? You did good work.’ ” Back at the blackjack table, Johnson starts chatting with one of the casino regulars who’d cheered him on earlier, a guy from the neighbourhood named Ivory Nims, a former gangbanger with the Inglewood Crips. Despite his criminal past, Nims seems like a pretty nice dude, and at 31, he’s not so different, ultimately, from the characters Johnson and Wayans play in Let’s Be Cops: He has dreams of buying a Lincoln Town Car and becoming an Uber driver but doesn’t quite have the know-how, initiative, or scratch to pull it off. Johnson

and Wayans chop it up with Nims, taking pleasure for a while in getting to know a stranger who’s not a superfan and has no agenda. Soon the pals are moving on, but as they continue to test their luck with the cards, Nims’ girl slips away with a scrum of photographers. “Damn,” says Nims. “The camera leaves, and my girl disappears.” Johnson claps him on the back: “Welcome to Hollywood.” Soon, the buddies are in a booth drinking beers and doing their best to crack each other up, which seems to be their constant M.O. Eyeing an ancient shoeshine man, they dive into a lengthy riff, imagining that his presence here has preceded the casino’s construction, that it was actually built around him. They imagine the conversation that might be taking place at a neighbouring table, filled with elderly Japanese tourists. Johnson even goes into a bit about a secret tryst he’s having with Wayans’ dad (“You’d be surprised how much he loves chocolatecovered strawberries!”); Wayans burns him a look, but he can’t help laughing. There’s one idea that’s funnier to them than any of the others: the thought of sharing a dramatic scene where both of them are asked to genuinely cry. “We’ve got to put it in our next contract!” Johnson says gleefully. “One unabashed, non-ironic crying scene!” For both, the hope is that Let’s Be Cops leads to more movies together. With their engaging personalities, heartfelt performances (even in a comedy), and superb chemistry on and off the screen, it’s easy to imagine the film dealing their careers a royal flush. Perhaps a movie

about fake cops will turn Johnson and Wayans into real movie stars. “I don’t want to be one of those actors who go from one project to the next,” says Johnson. “I’d like to do big movies here and there, a couple smaller indies, and also take time off to enjoy life.” With his friend Joe Swanberg, Johnson just cowrote and starred in an upcoming indie called Digging For Fire, based on a real-life experience: Digging a garden in their backyard a couple years back, Johnson and his wife discovered human bones and a gun. The movie imagines what might have taken place. “Working with friends is what it’s all about,” Johnson says. “Damon and I, we’re pretty much the same guy. We’ll never be those serious actors with black turtlenecks doing Shakespeare in the Park. We just want to keep doing fun stuff that we believe in.” Wayans nods in agreement. “One thing I learned from watching my dad was the importance of putting in hard work,” he says. “Every day I try to learn something and improve my craft.” With his downtime between acting and performing gigs, Wayans practices martial arts—muy Thai and tae kwon do. “I also want to get better at cards,” he says. “But this was definitely my best visit ever to a casino. Usually I play five hands, lose ’em all, and go broke.” For his part, Johnson is leaving his old stomping grounds a few hundred bucks ahead. “I think I’ll buy a gift for my wife,” he says, trading his chips in for cash. The lime green Hyundai he used to drive when he first landed in L.A. and worked at the casino is long gone. His ride now: a shiny black Lexus SUV. He hops in and heads for the gate. Wayans gives him a wave. “Drive safe, man,” he calls. “And if you get pulled over, just tell ’em you’re a cop.” ■

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Rated

DVD

ROCKER

SLASH I N T E R V I E W : D R E W H AY WO O D

PRODUCER

Iconic Guns n’ Roses guitarist Slash turns his hand to movie producing with the Anne Hache horror flick Nothing Left To Fear How did you get involved in the production of Nothing Left To Fear? I’ve always loved horror films, but I didn’t have any aspirations to get into the movie business. It was after a long, long conversation I had with a producer one Halloween about horror. He called me the next day and said I should produce, and he was sending over some scripts. So I’m like, “OK”. For months he would send me scripts and I would tell him which ones were good, which ones weren’t good and why. Next thing you know I was wrapped up in this whole process.

You also did the film’s soundtrack, how does that compare to your usual music making process? I’ve worked on some films prior to this. I scored The Wrestler [with Clint Mansell], and I’ve done pieces of music for people over the years. I’ve done stuff for Tarantino, the Weinsteins, so I’ve always been a fan of movie scores. The marriage of great score and a great movie is the ultimate entertainment experience. It’s something I’ve always been interested in, and when I do it I find I tap into a side of my creativity I don’t really utilise as a rock and oll guy. It’s very slow

going, I wouldn’t want it to be my day job, but I do love it and I’m very proud of the score for Nothing Left To Fear. Is it true that the town in Nothing Left To Fear is based on real place? Yes it is. I’ve never been there, I only found out about this through the guy who wrote the story. But there’s a whole folklore about how this town is one of the seven gateways to hell. This has been going on for hundreds of years. There’s an infamous graveyard there that people go to and try to worship the devil, and they have sex on the headstones and they

LIVING ONTHE EDGE AS IF, perhaps, Emily Blunt wasn’t hot enough, in Edge Of Tomorrow she gets to play out the fantasy of millions the globe over when she kills her co-star Tom Cruise again, and again. As tough-as-hell Sergeant Rita “Rose” Vrataski, Emily must train Tom’s novice soldier character William Cage as he re-lives the same day, Groundhog Day style, in an effort to destroy invading aliens. Every time he’s injured, Rose “resets” William by killing him – “In many violent ways,

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mercilessly,” Emily says – only for him to reawaken to fight another day. It was a task Ms. Blunt revelled in. “It was really exciting,” she recalls. “I would laugh after each take, just at Tom’s face, going ‘Oh, c’mon.’“ Emily’s favourite reset was the most nonchalant. “I sort of liked the casual one where I just don’t look and I just kind of shoot him like that,” she says. “It’s sort of like, ‘oh God, it’s so boring. I can’t be bothered.’”

I killed Tom Cruise in many violent ways, mercilessly.

NOTHING LEFT TO FEAR IS AVAILABLE NOW ON DVD AND BLU-RAY

procreate. At this point I don't think the town would be too happy if I showed up.

At this point I don't think the town would be too happy if I showed up

They’re not happy about the movie? Apparently they’ve been barraged with attention for this subject and they say the town isn’t the seventh gateway to hell. There’s history from the 1700s and perhaps earlier about witch burning there and a lot of other unpleasant sacrifices. All mythology is rooted in some truth, and they’re just trying to blow it all off. So making a movie spotlighting their town as a gateway, they were not too happy with. Do you believe in the devil? Wow. I don’t think I believe in anything the way it’s written on paper. When it comes to religion I’m not somebody who is a big fan of organised religion. But I’m open-minded and I do believe in dark forces and I do believe in positive forces. Have you ever had a supernatural experience? I’ve had lots of supernatural experiences, the only issue with that is if I was of the right mind.

EDGE OF TOMORROW IS OUT NOW ON DVD, BLU-RAY AND ULTRAVIOLET

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DVD

CULT FOLLOWING I N T E R V I E W : S C OT T K E E N A N

DIRECTOR TI WEST THROWS OUT THE KOOL AID WITH HIS JONESTOWN MASSACRE INSPIRED FLICK THE SACRAMENT After terrifying audiences with The Innkeepers and The House Of The Devil, Ti West has gone for the terror of reality in The Sacrament. The film is based on infamous 1970s American cult The People’s Temple, a religious sect whose charismatic leader Jim Jones built the Jonestown commune in Guyana. A promised utopian community ended in the biggest mass suicide in modern history.

What drew you to Jonestown? I’m pretty fascinated with the People’s Temple. Today if you found out 900 people committed suicide it would be huge news, but somehow it’s been reduced to this weird pop culture jargon – “don’t drink the Kool Aid”. It’s really strange. A lot of people don’t know the reason people joined; it wasn’t a cult waiting for space ships to come get them, Jim Jones talked about social acceptance.

The movie follows a team from indie news group Vice to the commune. Why Vice? Because it’s based on a real event, I wanted a real brand. In 1978 it was journalists from NBC who went to Jonestown. So, nowadays who would tell these stories? As much as Vice has its brand and shtick, they go into these situations as real people. Did you ever leave set feeling creeped out? Most odd was when we did the interview

THE SACRAMENT IS AVAILABLE NOW ON DIGITAL AND DVD

scene (in which cult leader Father shares his philosophies). The extras in the movie didn’t know what the film was about, so we didn’t tell them. They were totally

responsive. It was all really genuine, they just agreed with him. The whole movie hinges on this scene, and it was like, this is how this shit happens.

SKIN DEEP ASIDE from the always stunning Scarlett Johansson, the biggest scene stealer in sci-fi indie Under The Skin is Adam Pearson. The 29-year-old Londoner has the rare condition neurofibromatosis, which causes noncancerous tumours to grow on nerve tissue. His role is a pivotal one, changing the way Scarlet’s alien character views both humans and herself. Adam hopes it also changes the way society looks at people with facial deformities. “For me, the film is

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about what the world looks like and without prejudice," he says. "It’s about seeing the world through alien eyes.” Adam didn't tell friends about the movie, which includes nude scenes. “I didn’t tell some people at all and just took them to see the film,” he says. “My friend Heidi hasn't made eye contact with me for a week.” As for his leading lady? “She’s really nice, charming, funny and intelligent. Once you get over the feeling of ‘Oh my God, this is Scarlett Johansson!’”

UNDER THE SKIN IS OUT NOW ON DVD, BLU-RAY AND ULTRAVIOLET

Rated

Gaming

Alien: Isolation FORMAT: PS3, RELEASE: Out

The Evil Within

360, PC, PS4, XBO Now

LONG STORY SHORT: Finally, someone has done an Alien game right. Too often, developers have traded the horror IP in for a military action game, where it should be an intense survivalhorror. In this sequel to the original Alien film you play as Amanda Ripley (Ellen’s daughter) searching for your missing mother. Your search leads to an isolated space station where an alien

FORMAT: PS3,

360, PC, PS4, XBO 16

RELEASE: October

stalks the remaining staff. This is a game about cunning, stealth and filling your dacks, not direct combat. Iconic visuals, gadgets (motion detector!) and even faces (the original cast!) ensure this is the Alien game we always wanted.

LONG STORY SHORT: Shinji Mikami is best known as the dude who created the Resident Evil series and, in turn, as the godfather of horror gaming. With The Evil Within, he is returning to the genre and looking to re-establish the freakiness. Playing a lot like a Resident Evil, you peer over-the-shoulder of a detective called in to investigate a gruesome mass murder crime scene. Once there, a supernatural evil transports our hero into a warped reality where atrocities are splashed across every wall and gruesome beings hunger for flesh. It’s slow, measured and atmospheric gameplay, which keeps you on edge with sudden bouts of intense, challenging combat and seriously spooky occurrences. You can’t trust this world, and it makes for gripping fun, although it’s not for the faint of heart.

Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare 360, PC, PS4, XBO RELEASE: November 4 LONG STORY SHORT: So last year’s Ghosts was a bit of a dud, but legendary FPS Call Of Duty is bouncing back with a genuine nextgen iteration. The setpiece heavy campaign is set in 2054, where an organisation called KVA has knocked out all the nuclear reactors in the

world in a global terrorist attack, leaving everyone helpless. You play an ex- U.S. Marine who signs up for private military contractor Atlas and its ruthless boss (played by Kevin Spacey no less), completing objectives for the highest bidder in a new World War. Visually, the game really goes to the next level, and gameplay is familiar, with enough tweaks to keep fans smiling. A vast improvement on Ghosts.

Middle-Earth: Shadows Of Mordor PS3, 360, PC, PS4, XBO RELEASE: Out Now (PS3/360 versions – Nov 26) FORMAT:

LONG STORY SHORT: If the kid-friendly antics of the latest Hobbit trilogy have soured your Lord Of The Rings high, then dive back into the black of Mordor with this excellent actionRPG. You play Talion, a ranger with Wraith-like abilities, roaming an open-world Middle-Earth in a period between The Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings. The story is suitably epic, with

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Talion out to exact revenge on Sauron for killing his family. The action plays a lot like Assassin’s Creed, and Talion is able to level-up his Ranger or Wraith abilities, as well as loot he picks up. The landscape is dotted with foes, sidequests and activities to enjoy, with a Nemesis System ensuring that characters you meet (and even fight) will adapt their personalities based on that interaction, creating a dynamic world. The best LOTR adaptation yet!

WORDS: CHRIS STEAD

FORMAT: PS3,

Rated

WHAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Gaming

 Microsoft spent US$2.5 billion (yes billion) and bought developer Mojang, best known for creating Minecraft

Lords Of The Fallen PC, XBO, PS4 RELEASE: October 31 FORMAT:

LONG STORY SHORT: Dark Souls proved that modern day gamers don’t have the soft-underbelly oldschoolers presumed, becoming a massive success despite its slow, measured take on action-RPG combat, and intense difficulty. Lords Of The Fallen follows in that game’s footsteps, with a dark, medieval

setting, and tactical, skill-based combat. However, it’s not as punishing, allowing well-timed attacks to flow into combos, providing more welcoming checkpoints and a tutorial. It also offers a greater focus on story and rewards exploration with secret areas and alternate paths. For many, this will prove a more exciting mix than the intense agony of Dark Souls, while still being rewarding – for others, the killer next-gen visuals will be more than enough!

 The highly anticipated Assassin’s Creed movie has been bumped back to 2016  Nintendo is releasing new versions of its 3DS and 3DS XL handsets, with bigger screens, way better 3D, a new control layout (including a second analogue stick) and enough power to play Wii-era games!  Alone In The Dark: Illumination will revive the classic horror series, with new co-op gameplay

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel FORMAT: PC,

360, PS3 RELEASE: October 16 LONG STORY SHORT: Canberrabased developer 2K Australia has taken over the reins to the muchloved Borderlands series and it has spiced it up admirably. Known for its over-the-top characters,

full campaign co-op and insane amount of loot, this FPS-cumRPG really does have a unique and memorable mix of gameplay elements. Fans will enjoy the narrative, which sits between the first two games – hence the weird title – and puts you in the shoes of four of Handsome Jack’s henchman at the time he

descends into villainy. Set on the planet Pandora’s moon, lowgravity can make for some wacky combat scenarios, while new additions like freeze weapons and oxygen tanks that can be used like a jetpack, are also welcomed. In truth it is more of the same, with a neon-soaked visual spray… but that “same” is pretty damn good.

Project Spark XBO RELEASE: Out Now FORMAT:

LONG STORY SHORT: If you fancy yourself as the creative type, then the oddly named Project Spark is pretty special. You are presented with a blank canvas – although you can choose to begin from a set template – and then you can pretty much create anything you want and share it with other users. Create full game experiences, pretty worlds, objects,

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characters; you have full control. While we have seen this in other games (Disney Infinity, LittleBigPlanet, Minecraft) what sets Project Spark apart is the sublime next-gen visuals and interface. With the latter, you can use the tablet app Smartglass to pull and prod your world with a touchscreen, or use Kinect to record animations (literally by moving) and voice-overs. The game is incredibly intelligent, and will help you all the way by dynamically addressing the smaller details. It all feels rather… next-gen.

 Dying Light will be out on January 30, Mortal Kombat X has been locked for April 14, while Batman: Arkham Knight is down for June 3 2015  Resident Evil Revelations 2 (XBO, PS4, PS3, 360, PC) has been confirmed for early 2015  EA has two teams working on iWatch games

Rated

Gaming

Join The Club NAME: DRIVECLUB DEVELOPER: EVOLUTION STUDIOS FORMAT: PLAYSTATION 4 GENRE: RACING

EVOLUTION EVOLVED If you’re a keen race fan, you will have heard of developer Evolution Studios before. Back in the PS2 days, it cut its teeth on the World Rally Championship games, but it was at the launch of the PS3 where Evolution really made its mark with the blockbuster off-road racer MotorStorm. It was a “next-gen” moment when it arrived, spawning three sequels. Now, it appears, the studio is up to its old tricks, resetting the racing bar again for another generation of consoles.

RELEASE: OUT NOW

Racing games and co-operative play don’t have much in common - we’ve never been able to swap out drivers during a virtual Bathurst run, “shake and bake” a slipstream overtake or yell abuse at our co-driver in a tricky rally course. For the most part it’s you, the apex, and a counting clock. DRIVECLUB is a game that changes all that. Developer Evolution Studios is driving the racing genre forward with its take on club-based racing. You and five friends can form a club – complete with customised liveries, of course – and then race simultaneously or asynchronously in competitive events under the team banner. Everything you do during a race is rewarded, not just your finishing position. Perfect sectors, long drifts, clean overtakes, close calls, fast laps; all these things and more contribute to the

If you like the beats in this game, it’s probably because the soundtrack is by British big beat electronic maestros Hybrid.

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experience you gain. However, unlike other racers, that experience unlocks new cars, races and items for everyone in the team. This all for one, us versus them take on racing is a neat twist that really brightens up the online experience. It doesn’t mean much however, without a weighty driving experience, and DRIVECLUB allows you to get behind 50 accurately modelled supercars – the in-car cockpit view looks a treat as you peer over the immaculate dash – and race then across diverse real world locations such as Norway, India, Scotland, Canada, Chile and Norway. Despite being very much based in reality, DRIVECLUB isn’t a hardcore simulation like Gran Turismo, and instead offers

that believable, yet accessible driving experience made famous by the GRID series. You can really feel the car bear into corners and power out, but you don’t have to spend ten-hours doing lessons in a hatchback first. The game is a visual splendour, too – how good is next-gen gaming, seriously! The level of detail the developer has gone to is near ridiculous, with 1.2million bits of flora hugging the sides of some tracks. A full day/night cycle and dynamic weather helps sell the experience,

but it’s the lighting – with rays of sun sprinkling through the canopy to flicker across your windscreen – that polishes off that sense of playing a first-party, prestige title. While the club mechanic is definitely where DRIVECLUB sets itself apart, at its core there is an excellent next-generation racer here, which remains fun even if you want to smash out a few laps by yourself. It could be years before the next Gran Turismo, so why not jump on this?

Rated KNOW YOUR ABCS 

Tech

A = All About (what the hell is this thing?) B = Bitchin' Because (why the hell do I want it?) C = Cunning Linguist (how the hell do I sway my missus?)

WORX JawSaw A: Ideas don’t get much niftier than this. Place a branch inside this beast’s jaws, where its teeth will bite into the surface. Push the handle, and the blade will swing through, lopping the limb straight off the tree. It even auto-lubricates. B: One of the handier benefits of keeping the blade in the jaw, is that you can chomp down on branches lying on the ground without fearing a kickback, or trashing your chain. C: “See look, I’ll show you, you can’t cut your leg off” WORXTOOLS.COM

Huawei 4G Ascend P7 Smartphone + TalkBand B1

A: With a sleek metallic design and only 6.5mm thick, the Ascend P7 feels good in your grasp. It’s sturdy, with Corning Gorilla Glass 3 front and rear covers protecting the 5” 1920 x 1080 screen (445ppi and 16:9 aspect ratio).

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Philips D0T Portable Speaker

assist mode to help you and your boat stick to suitable roads. B: Th GPS notes when driver fatigue is setting in and will suggest a good place to stop. C: “What did you think I mean when I said ‘go bush’?”

A: There’s some quality sound to be had in the Philips audio range and with D0T you can take it on the road. It’s splash proof and built for a rugged life, housing a 3” driver that delivers some serious sound via Bluetooth or a 3.5m audio jack. B: If the phone rings while you’re listening, a built-in mic allows you to use it as a speakerphone. It also shut down when you flip it up on its front, conserving the eighthours of battery life. C: “Fine then, I will take this racket outside”

WWW.NAVMAN.COM.AU

PHILIPS.COM.AU

My Escape III in-car GPS A: This impressive GPS offers all your usual day-today stuff (like school zone warnings and live traffic updates), but doubles as a 4WD fan’s dream. It has 105,000km of off-road tracks to follow, 6,200 campgrounds, in-built Lonely Planet travel guides and an even a large vehicle

It’s got a great Sony camera, too, with a f/2.0 aperture, 13MP 5P-aspherical-lens with panoramic option and 1080p recording. B: It pairs with the TalkBand B1, which not only tracks your daily activities (calories, steps taken, etc.), but has a Bluetooth 4.1 earpiece that pulls out for calling on the go. C: “I thought you said you wanted to go to Huawei?” HUAWEI.COM.AU

MAXIM TV airs Thursday night at 10:30pm on ONE HD

WD My Passport Ultra 10th Anniversary Edition Hard Drive A: To celebrate its 10th birthday, Western Digital has upped the visual appeal of its signature portable hard drive. The My Passport range has the software to back-up your files via USB 3.0 and make them available via the cloud. It’s only about the size of the palm of your hand, too. B: Portable hard drives never had to look good before because they were buried at the back of office desks, but in the modern day they need to be out and about, so why not give them some style? C: “No it’s not a cute knick knack, it’s a hard drive” WDC.COM

Sharp Quattron Pro 80” LED LCD TV A: The race to be the most ultra highdefinition TV in existence is getting pretty technical. Sharp’s latest entry in the Quattron series brings a flexible Yellow colour band into the fold, joining Red, Blue and Green for more vibrant colours. It also ups the sub-pixels by 2.5 times to make the most of it all. 4K upscaling and smart TV functionality are a given. B: TVs often come with throwaway speakers built-in, but the Quattron now has a full Yamaha system – including subwoofer – built into the screen. Nice! C: “Have you got a problem with the colour yellow?” SHARP.NET.AU

Nvidia Shield Tablet A: Graphics card maestros Nvidia tried an odd “controller with a screen” device with its first take at the Shield, but get it right its second attempt at portable gaming. This is a super powered Android tablet purpose built for gaming. It has a powerful Tegra K1 processor, 1900 x 1200 HD display, speakers and a 5MP camera for Twitch streaming.

B: As well as playing Android apps, it can stream PC titles, and can output direct to a TV. Plus, there is a wireless controller you can buy to complete the pseudo console experience. C: “I will get a shield to protect you” SHIELD.NVIDIA.COM

Microsoft Surface 3 Pro A: The continued evolution of Microsoft’s Surface is quite impressive. The latest model offers a bigger screen (12” in an A4-like shape), but a lighter case and thinner body. We love the Surface Pen, too, which with a click allows you to write notes in a jiffy. A full 180-degree flexible kick-stand and optional magnetic keyboard help it double as notebook.

B: Windows 8 copped a lot of hate from hardcore tablet fans when the first Surface launched, but being able to use all your PC software, connect via USB to existing media and transfer files over the cloud is pretty sweet. C: “You have to look beyond the surface, and see what lies within” MICROSOFT.COM/SURFACE

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Yeah, Nha

DANIEL STEINER EXPLORES VIETNAM’S SOUTH CENTRAL COAST AND, DESPITE STRONG RUMOURS TO THE CONTRARY, STRONGLY INSISTS HE DOESN’T HAGGLE OVER THE PRICE OF MANUAL STIMULATION*

*THAT’S NOT MENTIONED IN THE STORY; HE JUST WANTS TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT.

You learn a lot from taxi drivers: new types of odours, strident opinions about ethnic groups, how to emancipate a teen hooker in ’70s New York. As I exit Cam Ranh International Airport, a former US air base, it is I who am stinking up the Nha Trang night. The hour flight from Ho Chi Minh City isn’t to blame; more that half a day in transit (I originally departed from Sydney) usually leaves me smelling less than optimal and there’s a two-headed beast at work in the form of heat (28ºC at 7:30PM) and humidity (I don’t know the percentage but I think it was somewhere in the region of My Pudenda Is Damper Than The Borneo Rainforest and Can A Supernatural Amount Of Sweat Make A Black Tee Transparent?)

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Now that we’ve established the status of my scrotum, back to taxis. I’d read in forums that the odds of getting charged a fair fare for the 45-minute drive to the tourist swathe of Nha Trang were lower than crocodile piss. I walk by the immediate queue of cabs into the open car park. A small, doughy man waves at me, points to his green tie and then to presumably his green taxi, as if that colour is a signifier of credibility. Sure, why not? We exchange hellos and I tell him where I’m going. He says it’ll be 300,000 dong (the exchange rate is roughly 20,000 dong to one Aussie dollar), which is hard to argue with. The driver asks if I speak Vietnamese. Of course I don’t: I’m an arrogant Westerner and expect everyone to speak tertiary-level English, plus Vietnamese is a tricky language to master – hell, it’s tricky to even butcher

FEARS THAT MAY BE TRIGGERED IN NHA TRANG Russophobia 1 1 - Men Vodka – the local shot of choice for men (when whisky isn't available); 2 - Every time you take a selfie in Nha Trang, an angel gets its wings; 3 - Dan drinks the rice wine in Lak Lake; 4 - The water buffalo are a common sight in the streets of Dak Lak Province; 5 - Posing with a staff member from Crazy House in Da Lat, a hotel /giant, LSDinspired maze

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Russians run a number of bars and restaurants here, the majority of signage features both languages, and it’s not uncommon for Nha Trang residents to speak fluent Russian. A cursory stroll on the beach reveals that Russians also compose the majority of tourists. The reasons are manifold: it’s cheap to get and exist here, the deferential locals speak your language, the weather is the opposite of Siberian, and, like, it’s 7,752km away from that Ukraine thing. A lengthier stroll on the beach indicates that a decent portion of the men are red, fleshy, and bald, while a decent portion of the women appear to be slight variations of the Irina Shayk prototype.

Fear of Being Swindled

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the pronunciations. The next question is whether I have a girlfriend. I do not. “I know some Vietnamese girl. VERY beautiful. You can meet.” Great. Not 10 minutes in and I’m already fearful of being dropped off at a brothel outside the city limits. I memorise his cab number – 3126 – as if it matters. “Not tonight. Very tired.” Young single guy travelling alone – hey, you can’t blame a cabbie for trying. He then changes to a puritanical gear and warns me about seeking illicit company in Nha Trang, especially from scantily clad women riding motorbikes after midnight. From what I understand, they ride in groups of five or six on the prowl for pissed tourists who are on the prowl for sex. When they spot their mark they go into a circle formation and corral him. One, or multiple girls (it wasn’t clear to me), hop off and approach,

the others still riding in a loop. He slaps my crotch: “They touch here! You know?!” Yes, I do know. But do they touch or attempt to leave a handprint on the horny drunkard’s penis, as you no doubt just did, sir? He slaps my left pocket: “Take you fortress!” “My fortress?” He rubs his middle and index fingers against his thumb – the universal symbol for money. Ah, my fortress. I’m later told by a different cabbie (white business shirt, grey slacks, no tie) that if you ever find yourself in this situation your best bet is to yell at them to, “F–K OFF!” and, if need be, shove them away from you, lest you surrender the fortress. This brings us to the question of whether Nha Trang is safe. It’s a stupid question, but I forgive your pondering, as I pondered the same before realising it’s like asking if an artwork is good. Fear is subjective, so it depends on what you’re afraid of…

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This happens twice, and both times the drivers of bicycle rickshaws are involved. Like everything, cabs are cheap ( just make sure you remind them to turn on the meter), and if you’re on the way home after 10, the kindly driver will no doubt offer ‘boom boom’, weed, cocaine, or a massage (perhaps all four!).

Fear of Crime If you stumble through the streets off your face after midnight, you’re leaving your wellbeing in the hands of fate. Luckily, fate likes me – we had this casual thing; it ended amicably – but I wouldn’t recommend doing this regularly. The street-lighting situation is sketchy, it’s easy to get lost (even more so in the dark), you’ve got those hookers on bikes, and you’re obviously a target for any shady types if you’re walking in a zigzag. I did see a security guard at a park near the beach one night. He was armed with

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nunchucks and was swinging them aimlessly as he walked, so Tuesday is evidently a slow night for crime in Nha Trang. Maybe this goes without saying, but women with white skin and blonde hair get a lot of attention over here (and, like, every other country), so don’t wander alone after dark (anywhere, ever, because men are terrible).

Fear of Not Being Able to Communicate English isn’t a language you’ll hear much of here, so at least have a go – locals will find it amusing and endearing in the

same way a dog in a tuxedo is amusing and endearing. You may also find that an ersatz version of sign language can get you pretty far. A UCLA study found 93 per cent of “communication effectiveness” to be dictated by nonverbal causes, so it’s unsurprising the girl at reception asked me why I looked “sad” and “lonely” more times than made me comfortable. Smile, people!

Fear of Eating Dog On the topic of Fido, I was told that dog and cat meat, respectively (f–k knows if you

1 - The remains of a church bombed during the war; 2 Elephant rides in Dak Lak cost $5; 3 - Penguin cannibalism installation art on Monkey Island; 4 - You can bet on the hourly monkey-ondogback races; 5 - Relaxing with some streetside corn (RRP: 20c/head); 6 - Modelling Vietnam's SS14 collection at the beach; 7 - Yang Bay's uplifting pig enclosure; 8 - The scenic toboggan ride at Vinpearl Land

Fear of Crossing the Road

can get them minced together), can be found at certain restaurants if the mood takes you. It didn’t. Or did it, and I wasn’t even aware I was eating it… ? #soylentgreen

Hesitation is not your friend. Be confident and, if in doubt, cross at the same time as the locals. Cars seldom stop for pedestrians, so pay them respect; bikes will weave around you. BUT DON’T STOP MOVING.

Fear of Filth There aren’t nearly as many rats as I expected, so that’s a win! There is, however, a lot of trash and food scraps tied up in plastic bags (sometimes not) and left either on the footpath or in the gutter. The garbage then spends all day baking in the heat, so it can get a bit ripe.

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Fear of Spending a Day Passing What Feels Like A Solar System of Stool This will happen, though the time spent on the toilet may vary.

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THINGS TO MAKE YOU FORGET SAID FEARS

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Ba Ho

Monkey Island

Yang Bay

If you want waterfalls, make the 40-minute drive out here. Just not in August, where the dry weather results in not much water falling. Still, the (slippery and narrow) hike and climb through Ba Ho is an idyllic way to work up a sweat. Best of all, you can wash that sweat off once you reach the first of the three waterfalls (one is the best and most popular) by leaping 5m off a boulder into the swimming hole below.

I miscalculate the travel time, and one 45-minute drive and 20-minute-or-so ferry later I arrive at Monkey Island. The miscalculation results in my missing the start of the 10AM ‘show’. Let me put it like this: if you don’t like the zoo or the circus or the notion of a dog race where monkeys in cowboy outfits ride/are strapped to the dogs, don’t go here. Otherwise, you’ll have a ball!

I’d issue the same caveat to animal lovers as I did about Monkey Island – if you’re a PETA member, expect to get upset right about the time you reach the bear enclosure at this nature reserve (the waterfalls are nice)/ mini-zoo. Watching Russians (try to) ride ostriches is funny, but the fact archery targets were set up in the middle of the zoo had me clutching my head with both hands.

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And p creat ossibly e entir some ely n ones! ew

Long Son Pagoda A temple featuring a gigantic Buddha. Turns out a lot more Nha Trang-ians(?) worship Jesus than Buddha, so temples aren’t common. It’s a solid walk from the beach, so get a cab. And if you use the same shitty map I did (full-disclosure: orientation is not my forte), you may end up getting lost in the midday heat.

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The Weather:

Vinpearl

Going Out

Impromptu Modelling

Throughout August and it was consistently 32ºC. The sun is relentless from 11 – 2 and works every sweat gland; the sky is a baby blue blanket, punctuated by cirrus that looks like ripped tissues. Every major hotel has a designated spot along the coastline and beach chairs can be hired for $5. When thirst hits you, the Louisiane Brew House that does 1L beers for $5. Hot tip: sunbake near the pricier hotels for the best perving opportunities. On multiple occasions, lithe Russian women began doing yoga poses for no reason.

“The holiday paradise of Vietnam!” This is what the website says. Of course, “holiday paradise” implies it’s located on a separate island (complete with two lavish resorts, golf, and an amusement park), with a broad section of sea between you and the lowly tourists in Nha Trang city. A ticket to the amusement park, Vinpearl Land, is 550,000 dong – roughly half a month’s pay for locals – and to get there you take the world’s longest sea-crossing cable car system (3.32km; can operate in a “tsunami wavelength of 90 metres”).

I don’t mean for this to sound like a cop out, but you don’t need my help here. In the tourist part of town, follow the sound of cranking tunes either coastward or down one of the offshoots of Tran Phu Street, the main drag. If you want altitude and a view, rooftop bars are quite popular here; if you want to go low-key, a case of Bia Saigon is 10 bucks (50c extra for enough ice to fill an esky) and a spot overlooking the water is easy enough to find.

This one is less an activity, more a cosmic joke. I was told I looked “special” by the owners of the tailor I bought a suit at (a suit and two shirts will cost you $250), which is like saying someone is “interesting”. Just ask me which chromosome I’m missing – why bother with social graces? The upshot of this was me modelling Vietnamese formalwear on the beach in searing, blinding heat – and a trio of Russian women not only laughing to the verge of incontinence, but later taking photos of the punchline (that would be myself and the female model). Special indeed. M A X I M . C O M . A U

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COLOUR, TEXTURE, AND PATTERN: ADD THEM TO YOUR WARDROBE AND SET YOURSELF APART FROM EVERY MAN PLAYING IT SAFE IN BLACK AND GREY SUITS THIS SEASON

BOLD STATEMENTS

S T Y L I N G : S E T H H OWA R D P H OTO S : RYA N M I C H A E L K E L LY

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Magenta “wool” jacket and striped dress shirt by Paul Smith London. Trousers by PS by Paul Smith. Pocket square by Turnbull & Asser. Timepiece by Skagen. Black penny loafers by A.Testoni

Plaid suit by Paul Smith London. White button-down shirt by Black Fleece by Brooks Brothers. Knit tie by Isaia

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This page: Blue jacket, white button-down shirt, and navy chinos by Club Monaco. Charcoal suede cap-toe shoes by Hugo Boss

Opposite page: Velvet jacket and trousers by Canali. Striped button-down shirt by Isaia. Silk tie by Paul Smith

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HAIR: ANDREA WILSON/NEXT ARTISTS FOR T3MICRO & SWOO; MAKE-UP: MEGAN LANOUX/EXCLUSIVE ARTISTS; MANICURE: ANA-MARIA/ABTP

Grey-and-pink windowpane suit by Alton Lane. Grey country-plaid dress shirt by Perry Ellis. Tie by Hugo Boss

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PHOTOS: WAYNE DANIELS

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Style

GROOMING SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND IS A GREAT SONG LYRIC, BUT IT DOESN’T TRANSLATE TO YOUR FACE. CHECK OUT THESE SHINE-CONTROL SKIN CARE PRODUCTS

CLINIQUE FOR MEN OIL CONTROL MATTIFYING MOISTURISER, $39 This moisturiser is lightweight, but packs a punch in the shine-free stakes. It rebalances your messed up skin, keeping it moisturised, but with zero excess oil.

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This awesome threesome will keep your dial free from oil, as it cleanses away grime and refines the surface skin. The key take away here is not “threesome” but “awesome skin”.

NIVEA MEN CLEAR EFFECT VOLCANIC MUD FOAMING FACE WASH AND GEL MOISTURISER, from $9.95 each Control oil, nixes blackheads and banishes zits, without leaving your dial dried out.

It rubs the lotion on its skin

OLAY FRESH EFFECTS BEAD ME UP EXFOLIATING CLEANSER, $14.99 AVENE CLEANANCE This beauty not only cleans your skin, but K MASK, $22.95 it uses tiny beads to Use a couple of purge all the gunk times a week to and oil stuck in soak up shineyour pores. That’s causing oil and leave awesome news to us. your skin looking fresh and matt.

WORDS: SHONAGH WALKER; PHOTO: LUKE SHADDOCK

1. KIEHL’S OIL ELIMINATOR DEEP CLEANSING FOAMING FACE WASH FOR MEN, $34, REFRESHING SHINE CONTROL TONER FOR MEN, $34, and 24-HOUR ANTI-SHINE MOISTURIZER FOR MEN, $40

Sex Amp Up Your Hook-up

Women explain what it takes to make your random hook-up want to come back for more WORDS: STEPHANIE RADVAN

The good news: many women are just as inclined as guys to choose no-strings-attached sex over traditional dating. The not-great news: A new study reveals that ladies are only half as likely as guys to orgasm during a casual romp. “For women, achieving orgasm is based on giving up control and going with the feelings that cascade from arousal,” says New York sex therapist Miriam BiddelmanMassin. “So it’s often difficult to climax with a stranger, who may turn you on but with whom you don’t feel comfortable.” But there are ways to make women feel secure enough to get the big O with a rando and therefore suggest a second round. Here, some tips to make sure your girl has a great time – even if it's for one night only.

START EARLY Since arousal begins in the brain (or, as we call it, the “skull testicle”), start paving the way the minute you lock eyes with a hottie at the bar. “Guys shouldn’t take context for granted,” says Jessica, 29. “Grinding up against me on the dance floor isn’t going to get a reaction, but if a guy asks me questions and seems interested in what I have to say, I feel more at ease and let myself go once we’re naked.” Communication will make her feel less like she’s with a stranger and more likely to reveal what turns her on. Plus,

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don’t underestimate the power of a compliment. “Tell her how much you like her look and her body, and once the clothes start to come off, her smell and taste,” says Biddelman-Massin. Making her feel desirable will boost her comfort level enough to let her release her wild side in the sack. Everyone wins!

FOCUS ON FOREPLAY Unlike some things in life, delayed gratification actually makes sex better for many women. “This is almost a biological imperative for women, who are simply not warmed up and ready for action like men are,” says Emily Morse, host of the podcast Sex With Emily. “The more foreplay, the more comfortable she will feel during sex, physically and psychologically.” Foreplay is not just making out till your tongue cramps up. Oral sex, dirty talk, or just a lot of touching can do the trick. “I love when a guy takes the time to touch my body before trying to remove my clothes,” says Sara, 23. “Even just leaving my panties on a few minutes longer, touching me through my underwear, rubbing my thigh…All that teasing just brings me to the brink.”

ASSUME THE POSITION The female body, while a glorious vision and the only

reason you watched the Blurred Lines video 1,000 times, is poorly equipped for P-in-V orgasms. “So many sex positions are not as favorable toward the clitoris,” says Morse. So skip missionary and get into a more orgasm-inducing position. Girl-on-top lets her rub against you and control the depth and pace of thrusting, while reverse cowgirl, with a girl’s feet between your legs, will make the fit even tighter. Plus, you can encourage her to make like a Divinyls record and and touch herself. “I love it when a man asks me to pleasure myself, since it shows that my getting off is a turn-on for him, too,” says Erica, 25. The down dog position can also be manipulated to hit her sweet spot. Having her lie down on her stomach with her legs close together instead of on all fours increases the friction as you move in and out, and she’ll be able to rub herself against

the bed. “There’s also something inherently naughty about doing it doggy style during a hookup,” adds Lindsay, 25, “and hearing a guy compliment my ass and feeling him grab it – I completely get off on how horny I make him.”

ASK AND SHE SHALL RECEIVE You don’t have to interrogate your girl about her kinky fantasies, but by simply asking her what feels good or whether she’d like to change positions, you’ll make it clear you value her pleasure. “Some women don’t enjoy hook-ups because they don’t feel like the guy cares about what feels good for them,” says Morse. So act like her boyfriend, even if it’s only for a night, and always stop to ask for directions. You’ll get her there a lot sooner because of it. ■

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HOURS TO LIVE

Reece

Mastin

The ARIAwinning X Factor champion spends his days rocking out to hordes of screaming fans and cosying up to former Home and Away hottie Rhiannon Fish. But how would he spend his final hours? YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO LIVE. HOW DO YOU SPEND IT? In my pyjamas, in my bed, watching Friends. I want to watch it one more time, I really love that TV show.

YOU FIND YOURSELF AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN, WHAT DO YOU SAY? “Please let me in!” Please. I’m on the line as to whether I’m going one way or the other. WHICH DEAD CELEBS WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET IN HEAVEN? Michael Jackson, just to be able to say, “Hello!” And somebody like Kurt Cobain, just to ask the question, “Who did it?”

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There was blood all over my shirt.

THERE’S A KURT COBAIN DEATH CONSPIRACY? I think so. I’ve probably said something I’m not supposed to. You’ll never see me again; I really do only have 24 hours to live. ARE YOU FAITHFUL IN YOUR LAST 24 HOURS? I think, just for safety, yes. Just in case there is a God. LOOKING BACK OVER YOUR LIFE, WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR PROUDEST MOMENT? Getting the record contract, through the show [The X Factor]. There was a show in New Zealand, in Auckland, at the Vector Arena and that was a massive show for me. That’s probably the highlight for me.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST REGRET? I stood too close to my bass player at a gig once. At the very end of the set he jumped off the drum riser and slammed his bass down and got me right on the top of the skull. I think because of the adrenaline I felt OK, but knew I had to get off. Once I was backstage Rhiannon said, “OK, you need to go to the hospital” There was blood all over my shirt.

WHAT WILL BE WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE? “Buried alive”. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR LAST WORDS? “Why?” Just “why?”

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THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF AUSTRALIA’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN FEATURING IGGY AZALEA, S A M A N THA A RMYTAG E, THE YE L LOW W I G G L E & MORE

FOR THE PAST 364 DAYS, WE HERE AT MAXIM HAVE BEEN VIGOROUSLY RESEARCHING THE MULTITUDE OF TALENTED AND GORGEOUS WOMEN OUR LUCKY COUNTRY HAS TO OFFER. THE RESULT? THIS DEFINITIVE LIST...

100 J A C K I LAMBIE She's parliament's true renegade: Jacqui's refusal to always tow the line with erratic billionaire PUP leader Clive Palmer gives her serious power in the senate. The outspoken Jacqui has won fans and foes alike with her unique blend of common-sense policies, borderline racism, and dick jokes (she likes them big, fellas).

99 A N J A NISSEN To the outside world it may seem an awful like this year's winner of The Voice disappeared after the show's final, but if her mentor/manager will.i.am puts his money where his mouth is, we may soon see a phoenix-style return from Anja.

98 AAndreja ndreja Pejic' First making headlines at age X when male Andrej first took to Paris runways modelling womens clothing. This year the Melbourneraised modelling superstar announced she had undergone gender reassignment surgery and would be known as Andreja. Enjoy!

997 J U L I E BISHOP If somebody has to take to the world stage to announce we no longer believe in science or we're ready to blow up some poor people, it may as well be a person who delivers everything in the tone of a disappointed high school maths teacher. And those EYES!!!

96 M A R G A R E T POMERANZ Australia's grande dame of film critiquing, this year Margaret and her reviewing partner David Stratton, announced they would retire from At The Movies, bringing to an end to over 176 years of incredible bickering.

95 P R I N C E S S MARY It's been a decade this year since Tasmanianborn real estate agent Mary Donaldson married Fredric, Crown Prince of Denmark. Since then, the ultimate MILF has squeezed out two princes and two princesses, ensuring the Danes will be run by part-bogans forever more.

94 F I F I BOX The only thing more ridiculous than Fifi's quirky name is her always amusing life, so it's just as well she loves sharing so much of it on Fox FM breakfast.

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PHOTOS: HEMA (98); SHUTTERSTOCK (97, 95); WAYNE DANIELS (92)

Whatever is going down at Wentworth detention centre, the setting of Foxtel's Prisoner reboot Wentworth, you can bet that Nicole's feisty Frankie Doyle will be at the centre of it. Whether she's fighting or f–king, g Nicole is a scene stealer.

92 AAmber mber Greasley Former Miss World Australia, Amber has had a huge year, relocating to Sydney with Swans player Jeremy Laidler and starring in her first ever MAXIM photo shoot. Boom!

91 C H R I S S I E SWAN One of the few ex-Big Brother contestants to make a proper media career for themselves, hilarious radio host Chrissie is never far away from a tabloid scandal, a sure sign of her popularity. We adore you, Swannie!

89 S H A R N I VINSON She keeps a lower profile than a lot of other Aussie's in Hollywood, but Sharni is building an impressive filmography. On the big screen she's already danced, fought off a giant shark and killed a serial killer with a blender! is there anything left for this sexy actress to prove?!

88 90 L A U R A DUNDOVIC Sydney model Laura has ventured into the world of acting, with a guest appearance in web series Hunter n Hornet, inbetween posting incredibly hot pics of herself on Instagram.

She S Sh e''s th tthe he b best estt segment on The Project and also lends her trademark disapproving tone to the ABC series Utopia as a determined bureaucrat.

K Kitty FFlanagan

87 K A T E RITCHIE A 273 years (approx) on Home and After A , new mum Kate is now in the Away w world of radio, co-hosting Tim, Marty a Kate on Nova stations around and A Australia. As much as we love hearing h voice, we're hoping for a return her t TV is on the cards for Kate soon. to

86 EErin i McNaught Erin may have been a bit quiet on the local scene of late, now that she's married and preggers to musician Example, and swanning around the most exotic corners of the globe, but she's still smokin' hot (as her frequent Instagram posts prove). Big LOVE!

85 S I A

PHOTOS: SHUTTERSTOCK (90, 89); WAYNE DANIELS (86)

From indie princess to pop goddess, French DJ David Guetta's use of her demo vocal on his hit Titanium forced mega-talented, Adelaide-born Sia from semi-retirement to the top of the US charts. Chanda-lee-heer.

84 J E S S I C A ROWE If she hadn't become a journalist and mental health advocate, Studio 10 panellist Jess could have been a model. Although we're not totally sold on her hair's recent flirtation with blue rinse, we still love her muchly!

83 A S H E R KEDDIE The queen of Aussie TV drama collects Logies like we do restraining orders. While the future of Offspring hangs in the balance, Asher's new offering Party Tricks looks set to be yet another hit.

82 L I S A WILKINSON We're usually too hung over to watch breakfast TV, but when we do there is nothing as calming as the soothing tones of Lisa reassuring us that everything will be OK. Just ask Karl.

78 K Y LY CLARKE

77 N A T A L I E BASSINGTHWAIGHTE

This model, Dancing With The Stars contestant, and Mrs Michael Clarke better half, Kyly, would definitely be in the grand final of the Hot WAGs competition.

Singer, dancer, actor, presenter. Is there anything Natalie Bassingthwaighte can't do? Please send your answers on the back of a postcard c/- MAXIM.

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81 J A C K I E O After over a decade of playing good cop to Kyle Sandilands on the wireless, Jackie has proven to be a radio ratings powerhouse, the duo managing to stay at the top of the FM ratings in Sydney this year despite jumping ship to Kiis FM.

Phoebe Tonkin She left Australia a child star, and now 25-yearold Phoebe has found fame playing a sexy werewolf in US series The Vampire Diaries, and spin-off The Originals.

80 L A U R A C S O R TA N When MAXIM cover girl Laura injured her back and got out of doing the short-lived TV mess, Celebrity Splash, it made her the show's true winner.

75

SAMANTHA JADE

Affte A ter maki maki k ng a splash playing a spot-on '80s Kylie Minogue in the INXS mini-series Never Tear Us Apart, Sammy Jade has since been busying herself recording her new album in LA... and also looking mega-hot.

79 K Y L I E GILLIES The fact Kylie Gillies is a very good journalist and presenter goes without saying. But the fact she's also a yummy mummy needs more discussion. Right, Larry?!!!

74 Dami Im

PHOTOS: WAYNE DANIELS (80), SHUTTERSTOCK (78, 72)

The X Factor's 2013 champion has seamlessly slipped into life as a pop star with hit singles... and a visit to North Korea for a story on Sunday Night.

73 C A R R I E BICKMORE With the appointment of Rove McManus as host of The Project (aka News For Dummies), we have to keep reminding ourselves that Carrie is reading actual, real-life news stories. Which would explain all that war talk.

70 K Y L I E MINOGUE 72 M E G A N GALE Model, TV host and Isola bikini designer Megan has added new mum to her resume, welcoming a baby son to Carlton player Shaun Hampson – officially making her Queen of WAGs.

71 M E L A N I E VA L L E J O These days the gorgeous Mel is a fancy actor in Winners and Losers. Which is why we won't let her forget that tampon commercial or the time she played a Power Ranger.

This year Kylie returned to Australian TV on The Voice, released a new album Kiss Me Once and kicked off a world tour (which heads our way in March). Over a quarter of a century in the pop game and the artist formerly known as The Singing Budgie is still going strong. Respect!

68 J E S S I C A MARAIS 69 P I L A T E I N S T R U C T O R S A lot of blokes think pilates is the strict domain of women. This is both ludicrous and short sighted. Pilates instructors put the “phwoar” in core!

She received critical acclaim for her roles as Carlotta in the TV movie based on the legendary drag performer, and as a '60s midwife in Love Child. Expect some serious awards coming Jess's way over the next few months.

67 K Y M JOHNSON Looking refreshing sexy after her stints on the US version of Dancing With The Stars, Kym returned to the judging panel of DWTS Australia this year and as such has nudged Helen Richey out of the Hot 100 once again.

66 CCandice andice Falzon This ironwoman rocked a MAXIM cover this year and made fiancée David Warner a better man and more importantly, better cricketer. We wish them all the best with their new addition, aka “Ashes baby”.

N ATA R S H A 65 B E L L I N G

SARAH 64 H A R R I S

Newsreader Natarsha added the "r" to her name to ensure people pronounced her name the posh way. Which is why we'll now be MAXIRM. known as MA

How could stunning Sarah not join her female Studio 10 co-hosts on the list? Not only is she smart, but that wicked laugh suggests she'd be an excellent BBQ guest.

62 Nicky N i k Whelan After her unforgettable scene in Hall Pass Nicky has gone from strength-tostrength in Hollywood and also posed for MAXIM in this smokin' shoot.

60

C AT E B L A N C H E T T

PHOTOS: WAYNE DANIELS (66), IMAGE.NET (63)

Finally Cate won the Oscar she's deserved for so many years for her role in Woody Allen's Blue Jasmine. Next up she'll be glowing in the ninth through 11th hours of the seemingly endless Hobbit saga The Battle Of The Five Armies.

61 A L L I S O N LANGDON For some, the sound of 60 Minutes' ticking clock heralds the reality of another Monday approaching, for us it's time to check if Allison is filing a story on the show. Although, we'll also happily accept Liz Hayes and Tara Brown. Just sayin'.

59

MICHELLE BRIDGES

It was probably around the time Michelle Bridges' 12WBT fitness empire was valued at $67million that she decided it was time to ditch her gig as trainer on The Biggest Loser and (last we heard) exboyfriend Steve "Commando" Willis for a new life in LA.

63 R A C H A E L FINCH This gorgeous former Miss Universe Australia always looks stunning even after recently giving birth to daughter, Violet, with her DWTS partner-cum-husband Michael Miziner. HOT!

56 D A N N I I MINOGUE It's often said that the only thing more difficult than choosing a favourite child is choosing a favourite Minogue, but 2014 belongs to Dannii. The most sensible judge on The X Factor also boasts a fashion range, but we're still waiting for a new single or a return to Home and Away.

57 R O Z K E L LY When Roz quit her role as Channel Nine sports reporter and announced she was moving to South Africa, we thought we may have lost her for good. Thankfully, Network Ten snapped her up as a host of the Commonwealth Games and all was right with the world again.

55 L A U R A GEITZ Australian netball captain Laura added a Commonwealth Games gold medal to her trophy case this year. In contrast, we almost went to the gym on a least two occasions.

54 SStephanie tephanie R Rice ice With a brand new nose and a whole new attitude, Steph recently angered fans when she announced a return to the pool on Twitter as part of a radio prank. When has a radio prank ever gone wrong?

58 I M O G E N ANTHONY She dates Kyle Sandilands, she appeared on our cover with giant cutlery, and she turned up to our 3rd birthday party in bondage gear. What's not to love?

53 L E I G H SALES Walkley Award winning journo Leigh, host of ABC’s 7.30, makes interviewing look easy. From talking global issues with Hilary Clinton to confusing Tony Abbott with big words, Leigh asks the tough ones without ever losing her cool.

52 LLaura aura BBrunskill runskill Like most girls, Laura grew up dreaming of the day she could slip the MAXIM Australian Swimwear Model Of The Year winner sash over her bikini-clad bod. And this year, not only did her dream became a reality but she also posed for a sexy MAXIM cover!

51 S T E P H A N I E GILMORE

PHOTOS: JAMES MILLS (58), WAYNE DANIELS (52)

Pro surfer Stephanie's recent defeat of world No.1 Sally Fitzgibbons at the final of the Swatch Women's Pro in California means Sally had better watch her back, and we had better watch a lot more surfing.

50 A N N A BAMFORD If your girlfriend has tried to fill an Offspring-sized hole in her life with Wonderland, she's not alone. Luckily for us there's Anna who seems to get walked in on in the shower... A LOT.

48 EErin rin Molan Molan Is it just us or has the NRL Footy Show's incredibly itelligent, first-ever female panellist (to last more than one episode) got a whole lot funnier and sexier in 2014?

49 T E G A N MARTIN She's nabbed the Miss Universe Australia crown and a celebrity boyfriend in the form of actor Lincoln Lewis, next stop for Tegan: reality TV.

47 J A I M E E ROGERS She appears during pretty much every sportscast in Australia, and it turns out TAB Sportsbet's Jaimee is sporty herself. She competed in the Sydney Olympics swimming trials and is a devoted Sydney Roosters and Chicago Bulls fan. Go figure!

46 R H I A N N O N FISH Since leaving Home and Away, the most we've been seeing Rhiannon is via her frequent Instagram posts. We love Instagram. We love Fish.

45

ROSE BYRNE

Scoring a huge box office hit with Bad Neighbours alongside Seth Rogen and Zac Efron proves Rose's career shows no sign of slowing down. We're still waiting for her to headline her own comedy, pretty please.

44 E M M A WAT K I N S As the first female Wiggle, Emma has stepped into the yellow skivvy so well that we've almost forgotten the old blokes... And also proven once and for all that skivvies flatter nobody. Please call us, Em!

43 S O N I A KRUGER Sonia must be one of the world's hottest 49-year-olds. Not to mention 49-year-old mothers-to-be. One of the best ad libbers in the biz, Sonia is the best reason to watch Big Brother since they stopped doing the Adult's Only version. Or have they?

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PHOTOS: SHUTTERSTOCK (42)

The FFaders Th ders

42 R E N E E BARGH As the Aussie-accented one of US entertainment news show Extra, Renee gets to chat to celebrities and work with former Saved By The Bell actor Mario Lopez. Lucky girl!

Sassy Sydney gals Milly Gattegno and Suhana Lye are two of the hottest DJs in the country right now. Not only did they recently release their new album F.U.N., but they're also the support act for Miley Cyrus' Bangerz Tour. Now THAT's HOT!

38 S A N D R A S U L LY We get that hosting the Sydney news is a plumb gig, but nothing has been the same since Sandra stopped doing Ten's national late news. We miss those late nights, Sandy.

36 40 A N N A FLANAGAN In 2013 Anna “Flanno” Flanagan of the mighty Hockeyroos was named Hockey's World Young Player of the Year. In 2014 she was named “hot” by MAXIM Australia. That is all.

39 M I C H E L L E JENNEKE Michelle became an internet star the world over in 2012 when a video of her hurdles warm-up routine went viral. The famous hips returned at this year's Commonwealth Games, but sadly she missed out on a medal.

Her short-lived US sitcom Super Fun Night might have come to a premature end, but the Rebel consoled herself by stepping into the sequel to the highly successful teen musical comedy Pitch Perfect in what was another BIG year for her!

37 H A V A N A BROWN Melbourne-born DJ and singer Havana Brown has scored four No.1s on the US dance chart, and her latest video Better Not Said caused controversy with scenes in which she kidnaps a bloke. “Why would I do this if I was just to be safe?” she says.

PHOTOS: WAYNE DANIELS (37, 30), NIEL DIXON (31)

35 S A L LY P E A R S O N

34 T O R A H BRIGHT

Our golden girl at this year's Commonwealth Games, champion hurdler Sally backed up her win with a silver medal at the Diamond League in Zurich. Onya, Sal!

Olympic gold medal winning snow boarder Torah proved that Aussies can win Winter Olympic medals, even when their competitors don't all fall over, and also dance a little bit.

33 T H E V E R O N I C A S After years in the pop wilderness (thanks, record company politics!) this year Brisbane born twin sisters Jess and Lisa Origliasso returned to the top of the charts with You Ruin Me as if no time had passed at all.

32

CAITLIN S TA S E Y

With some controversial (mainly with old people) entrances into the Free The Nipple campaign, and roles in US series Reign and Josh Thomas's local comedy Please Like Me, Caitlin is sort of like the hotter, smarter, more talented Eddie McGuire.

31

SHERIDYN FISHER

You could call swimwear designer and MAXIM model Sheridyn Fisher a fitness fanatic, and devotee to a “green, clean and lean” lifestyle. We are happy to support her in this. From the couch.

30 K A H I L I BLUNDELL MAXIM cover girl and Aussie UFC hottie, Kahili, still manages to be sexy 24/7 even when she's dodging fighters' blood and spit ringside or in the octagon.

29

APRIL ROSE P E N G I L LY

Ditching modelling to concentrate on acting, the gorgeous daughter of INXS sax dude Kirk, could easily turn her DTWS gig into a bigger role on Aussie TV. Watch out, Osher Günsberg!

27 J E S S I C A & ASHLEY HART

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Renee Somerfield MAXIM cover girl, budding actress, animal rights activist... what's not to love?

26 L A N A KINGTON We like to take credit for Lana's entire career. Even if that isn't at all true, you can thank MAXIM TV for your weekly dose of this country girl hottie with a sense of humour to match.

25 A M A N D A KELLER A part of the Aussie media zitgiest since sporting parrot earrings on '80s science show Beyond 2000, famous sidekick to Andrew Denton, these days Sydney breakfast radio alongside Brendan “Jonesy” Jones on WSFM and Friday home improvement TV with The Living Room.

PHOTOS: SHUTTERSTOCK (27), NIEL DIXON (28, 24)

One works a Victoria's Secret catwalk, the other dances on a TV show with other stars. There's also something to love when it comes to the super-hot Hart sisters.

24 Ellie lli Gonsalves

23 R E I G A N DERRY Rising from the ashes of hit-free girl group Scarlett Belle, Reigan hass wowed us on The X Factor,and shown that she is not to be counted out, with her masterful vocals and super sexy stage presence.

She's graced the cover of MAXIM three times, making her three times more successful as you (possibly), and moved to the US for bigger and better things. Watch this space!

22 J E S I N T A CAMPBELL If it were up to us, Jesinta would be everywhere, always. Unfortunately (in so many ways) we're not Buddy Franklin. Lucky bastard.

21 C H E Y E N N E TOZZI She's taken the world's catwalks by storm, survived Naomi Campbell's attitude as a judge on The Face, and now she's joining Jennifer Hawkins on Australia's Next Top Model. Could that show GET any HOTTER!

20 I T A BUTTROSE The Queen of Australian media returned to the small screen with early morning chat-fest Studio 10, a position from which we hope she will fix Australian society once and for all.

Still juggling her gigs as an international champion in both cricket and soccer, we predict the next 12 months to be an even bigger year for one of Australia's hottest athletes.

18

SOPHIE MONK

From Popstar to actress to MAXIM cover girl to radio host, Sophie impressed us all this year by ditching high times in LA for a gig on Sydney breakfast radio. radio

17 Ri ki L Ricki-Lee Coulter There's just no stopping MAXIM cover girl Ricki-Lee. With a new album and a gig on DWTS getting her plenty of attention, surely a movie career can't be far off.

16 S A L LY FITZGIBBONS This surfing superstar has the world (and its waves) at her feet. And even though she recently hooked up with NRL player Trent Merrin, you're still one of our favourite gals, Sal!

O LY M P I A 15 V A L A N C E Yes, she's the younger half-sister of Holly Valance, and possibly the only reason you'd ever watch Neighbours. We're counting the days for when she calls us for a cover shoot, but for now the 21-year-old is concentrating on stirring up trouble in Ramsay Street.

PHOTOS: SHUTTERSTOCK (13), WAYNE DANIELS (14), SASHA EISNMAN (18)

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E L LY S E PERRY

14 LLauryn auryn Eagle Champion boxer, water skier, and MAXIM cover girl, Lauryn secured her ninth boxing victory this year. Oh, and she also continues to have one of the best bodies in the business.

LARA 13 B I N G L E Let the women's mags cover her on-off relationship and possible pregnancy, we're just happy to have a highprofile supporter of women getting topless at the beach.

D E LT A 12 G O O D R E M Vacating her seat on The Voice for a spot on the kids' table, Delta seems set to come out of relative musical hibernation, just toured with Andrea Bocelli, and released a cover of Martika's Love…Thy Will Be Done.

11 S A M A R A W E AV I N G Samara might have been very quiet since leaving Home and Away last year, but we have a feeling the 22-year-old is biding her time before launching a full throttle assault on Hollywood stardom.

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“We had emus come quite a lot to our back fence,” remembers Yvonne of her idyllic Aussie childhood, which would somehow lead her to becoming one of the most successful Aussies in Hollywood and the go-to sexy action woman in shows like Dexter, 24, and Chuck.

PHOTO: STEPHAN WÜRTH

YVONNE STRAHOVSKI

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PHOTO: BRAD MAWBY

LAUREN BRANT This former Hi-5 member has had children up on their feet and dancing on a daily basis. She also got a rise out of more than a few fathers. We predict a big year ahead for Lauren. Watch this space!

Most magazines only care to speculate about her romantic life, family dramas, blah blah blah... Can't they just admire the Kerrster for all the good she brings to the world? You know, like these black, tight spandex pants?

MIRANDA KERR

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JESSICA MAUBOY Jess already has a string of hits, a couple of movies and even an appearance at this year's Eurovision Song Contest under her belt. Now she's ready to storm the charts again with more hit music. All this and she's only 25.

6

NICOLE TRUNFIO

PHOTO: NICK LEARY

With a huge year that included a role in model reality show The Face and of course that unforgettable MAXIM cover, Perth hottie Nicole still can't believe her luck. “I thought it [modelling] was going to last two years. I'm 12 years in and busier than ever.” With photo shoots like this it's not very hard to see why!

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JESSICA GOMES Exotic looks and killer curves have made Jessica a familiar face on both on the catwalk and bikini shoots. A megastar in Korea, the David Jones ambassador has become partial to a visit to Korean bathhouses – a mental picture we're now going to have all day, every day.

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JENNIFER HAWKINS “When I was 15 I was more into touch football, soccer, ballet and netball,” says the host of Australia's Next Top Model. “To be honest, I was never into modelling.” And it's her combination of beauty and being completely downto-Earth which makes Hawko an eternal winner to us.

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SAMANTHA A R M Y TAG E There's just something about waking up to this beautiful Sunrise co-host that makes our tummies go a little bit funny. There's the laugh, there's the intelligence, there's the sarcastic streak, there's the fact she's gorgeous. Plus, they let her host the show with her dad (sorry. Kochie), which only a professional like Sam could handle.

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MARGOT ROBBIE The Wolf Of Wall Street put her firmly on the Hollywood It List this year, and now former Neighbours hottie Margot will next be seen alongside Chris Pine in Z For Zachariah and in the 3D remake of Tarzan in the role of Jane, naturally.

Few Aussies, female or otherwise, have had a bigger 2014 than Iggy. The first artist to have their first two singles hold the top two positions on the US music chart since The Beatles, the Mullumbimby rapper has truly taken the world by storm. Sometimes dropping out of high school and moving to Miami, a penniless teenager, can really pay off.

IGGY AZALEA

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PHOTO: HUGH HAMILTON

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THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF AUSTRALIA’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN FEATURING IGGY AZALEA, S A M A N THA A RMYTAG E, THE YE L LOW W I G G L E & MORE