Mr. All Wrong - R.C.Stephens(ang

Mr. All Wrong R.C. Stephens

Mr. All Wrong Copyright 2017 © by R.C. Stephens (Irene Cohen) All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. COVER ARTIST: SARAH HANSEN @ OKAY CREATIONS PHOTOGRAHER: BEN CUMMINGS FORMATTED BY POLGARUS STUDIO EDITOR: ELLIE MCLOVE PROOFREADING: RENITA MCKINNEY This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead is coincidental.

ISBN- 978-0-9953499-5-7

Table of Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four Chapter Thirty-Five Epilogue Also by R.C. Stephens Excerpt: HALO Acknowledgements About R.C Stephens

Chapter One “I thought we were heading to Greensboro Elementary,” I say to Albert, my chief of staff, sitting beside me. He glares at me with his dark blue eyes giving me a sidelong glance, and I sense a hint of guilt in his glare. That’s never a good thing coming from him. He straightens his tie and tilts his head to the side. “We have a slight detour.” His lips twist into a wry smile. “Detour?” I cock a brow. “I promised those kids a pizza lunch. They won a contest. I don’t need to tell you that I’m a man of my word.” Albert, also known as Albert Walsh the III, winced. “Your father thought we should make a pit stop at Henderson Place. The Bachmakers are having a ribbon-cutting ceremony. They’re tearing down Henderson Place and building a strip of condominiums there,” he explained as if it all made sense and it did, only I didn’t like the reason my presence was needed. I kept quiet, and Al continued. “Mr. Bachmaker believes in you. He wants to give his support for your campaign. Your father thought a quick show-your-face-and-

handshake would go a long way in securing the contribution.” For fuck’s sake, I mutter under my breath. “I don’t know if I’m making that announcement.” I shake my head, and a light chortle escapes my mouth as I realize what my life has become. “Al, can you see me running for President of the United States? It would be a fucking gong show.” Al throws back his head laughing at the thought. “I guess most people don’t know you stuck your head in a toilet when you were six because you wanted to save poor old Marty,” he reminds me of the time I tried to save my goldfish. I had come home from kindergarten to an empty fish bowl. Dad fed me the story that Marty needed a swim and he accidentally got flushed down the toilet by our maid. The truth was, Marty died, and Dad didn’t know how to break the news. I went all superhero and tried to save poor old Marty. In my six-year-old mind, it was feasible to look down the toilet drain. Of course, there was no Marty. “Exactly, I’m the guy who shoves his head down the toilet. I’m not the right fucking guy to run for office.” Al’s lips press together, and his head tilts to the side assessing me as if he doesn’t get me. “And yet here you are Mr. Governor of the Great State of Illinois.” His tone is playful yet reminds me how I became governor. How my father’s constant

meddling in my life got me to do things I didn’t want to do. If it were up to me, I’d be working in the prosecutor’s office, or maybe I’d take on some pro bono cases. Lord knows I didn’t need the money. “Yes, and as governor, you would think I would have control to make decisions about the little things in my life like having a pizza lunch with Ms. Fitz’s second-grade class while learning about the innovative learning strategies used at Greensboro Elementary.” I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my tone, but sometimes my father’s meddling was too much. Al looks at his watch. “This’ll only take twenty minutes tops.” He gives me a have some patience for my father’s meddling look because Al believes I should be the next President of the United States. The polls are agreeable too. I’m the one itching for something different in my life. Sort of a mid-life crisis but since I’m only thirty-five, it probably doesn’t classify. It’s more like I am having an awakening. I don’t like the direction my life is taking. Before I know it, I will be forty and the expresident of the United States. It’s a huge accomplishment for a person whose passion is to become president. It’s just not my passion. I sound like a spoiled brat born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but that doesn’t mean my life’s been happy or straightforward for that matter. It gets to a point

where material things are meaningless. Even titles for my power-hungry father become obsolete. I nod. “Sometimes I think my father hypnotizes you in your sleep. You fucking bend to his every whim.” I chastise my chief of staff, who is also my best friend. He chortles. “I did see a faint old figure hanging over my bed last night.” “Not fucking funny. I love my old man, but sometimes his need to have me succeed gives me fucking nightmares. I should finish this term as governor then go back to being a lawyer,” I say, knowing my best friend wouldn’t agree. When you’re raised with old money your parents and, in my case my father, has ingrained in me a need to achieve more, move higher up in the ranks of power. Money can provide for materialistic bliss but can’t buy love. My father comes from the Mathis family. One of America’s wealthiest families. They make candy. I know it sounds cool but even getting all the free candy you want as a child becomes old. My father left the family business to become a lawyer and was a partner in the most prominent law firm in Chicago. He planned to enter politics, but there were glitches along the way. He found himself a single father to a young boy instead. Now he lives his dreams through me. “You know that isn’t how life works,” Al retorts

and I watch as his blue eyes turn dark like he’s thinking of something morbid. I’ve called him on it a few times, but he’s a hard shell to crack. His father, a tycoon in the technology industry, wanted Al to come work in the family conglomerate so he could groom him to take over the Walsh empire one day. Just as Al was getting ready to take on the reigns of Walsh Industries they had a big blow out. Al was all hush hush about it. Said some family secrets were best laid to rest. He walked away from his family who then blacklisted him for over a decade even though his mother kept in touch with him secretly behind his father’s back, and his little sister also made visits out to see him since they live in Texas. I remember that day like it was yesterday. He was angry, seething and hurt. He had heard my father’s plans for me on more than one occasion. That day he said let’s go for it. “Let’s pave our own way to the white house. You can be President, and I’ll be behind the scenes.” I huff out a puff of air. He had no clue how jealous I was of him that day. The way he walked away and didn’t look back. The way he went after what he wanted. That day I gave my father the go ahead. Told him I’d run for the position of the state attorney. I won. Only the price I was paying was too high. All my life I’ve felt like I had a noose around my neck. My father’s grave baritone voice is constantly ringing in my head, brainwashing me to be the best. I never had the

chance to be a kid, have fun. I was always in one extracurricular activity after the next. Most of them were private lessons, so I didn’t even get to socialize. My existence was pathetic. Even today at age thirty-five and a long list of accomplishments, I felt inadequate. “You mean how my life works.” I couldn’t help but snap. “Say it, Al. I’m a fucking coward. I’ve let the guilt of my father’s sacrifices rule my life but when does it end?” He tilted his head to the side. “You didn’t always let the guilt rule. Africa was you sticking it to the old man. And working in the prosecutor’s office,” Al reminds me of all the times I defied my father. The list is short. Working in the prosecutor’s office was a big one, but I didn’t want to work in his law firm as a defense attorney. And Africa… while attending Harvard, Al and I decided to join the Peace Corps while we were on summer break. We loved it so much we went back for another two summers. My father had other plans for me. He wanted me to spend some time in Washington making political allies. “Yeah, there’s Africa and the tattoos running up my arm,” I chortled thinking of my tats, then tilted my head to the side and considered Al’s words. I was young and rebellious. The tattoos are a constant reminder of my brief freedom which came to an end once we started law school. By then my

father’s method of lathering on guilt had thickened. Boy, I could have been president or boy sometimes I wondered why I didn’t just give you up, find a new wife and conquer my dreams… I know… that last comment was particularly rough. It made me feel low, made me realize how much I owed him even though he was an asshole for saying it. He was the only parent I knew, and quite frankly I didn’t have a better frame of reference since I didn’t hang out with other kids and their parents. “Yup, Africa, and tattoos.” Al nodded, his gaze seemed miles away like he remembered the good ol’ days. “But where did it get me? He only became more determined after that,” my lips twist. “Fuck Colt, you’re depressing me today. What the hell is going on with you?” Al’s humorous tone changed to a look of concern. Nothing like having a heart to heart with your best friend in the back of an SUV with your security detail possibly listening to every word. That was it. I was sick of everything. I gave Al a long hard look. “Everything is wrong.” I let out a strangled laugh. “Look at you, man. You like what you do, and you enjoy the political games. You took life by the balls. You couldn’t understand me,” I huffed out. “My life isn’t perfect, Colt. There are things you don’t know. Things I can’t discuss with you.

Still…” he paused and swiped a hand over his mouth. I looked at my watch quickly, wondering if we would be late for my visit to the school. Al had secrets. I knew that. Everyone has a secret or two they don’t share with anyone. A secret you keep locked inside because it’s either too painful to reveal or too many people would get hurt by it. My secret was simple. My mother walked out on me when I was five and didn’t look back. That shit has messed with my head all my life, and caused me to have insecurities that made me feel inadequate. My father turned a blind eye to how I felt, and then made me feel worse by telling me there was no room for my feelings in the game of politics. Only the tough prevailed and so I put on armor that made me look tough. I was living a life I didn’t want and for some reason, just recently, it began to gnaw at me like termites chewing on a tree, slowly degrading it to nothing, and now I’m at my wit’s end. “Still…” I repeat Al’s word because he still won’t say what his secret is. I worry my lower lip. “And here I am still…” I emphasize the word. “Eating the shit my father shovels.” “You’re the governor, and Colt…life could be a lot worse.” Al retorts and I know he doesn’t mean to, but he’s feeding me the same line my father does. I need to appreciate what I have. Problem is I want something completely different. I just don’t

know what. “Yup, heard that one before,” my tone bleeds sarcasm. Al gives me a knowing look, and rolls his eyes at me. As I said, he likes political life; he doesn’t understand my discontent. “Snap out of it. You know how this is going to go down. The way I look at it, the presidency is your destiny. People love you, you worry about the common good. You’re the right man for the job and we both know it.” “Give me a break. We can get my father to feature you in his campaigning. You can do everything that I would,” I quip. “Man, you’re a saint and I’m the devil incarnate.” He wiggles his brows. “There’s no way the American people are voting me in. I have no morals.” He guffaws and that sentence is only half right. “You’re no different than me. The only problem is you get caught and I don’t,” I scoff. “If you’re talking about Sheila Angel, man, I didn’t know she was married or being followed by the paparazzi,” he tries to feign innocence. I roll my eyes at him. “Everyone knows Sheila was married to Gord Mabely,” I state the apparent common knowledge giving him a you should have known better look. Gord’s wife is hot as hell and so the media is glued to their lives reporting on their power couple status.

“Man, I watch football because of football. I don’t pay attention to the little stories about football players and their wives or families,” he shrugs me off. “Well, you should start,” I snicker. Maybe Al wouldn’t get himself into trouble then and be outed as the asshole that broke up the Mabely family even though Gord’s affairs were public knowledge. For some reason though the media didn’t find that story entertaining. It also caused heat in the governor’s office that my chief of staff was caught with his pants down. So, to speak. “And you hitting on that princess…where was she from?” Al taps his chin…his voice stalls. He damn well knows where she’s from. “Princess of Monaco, fuck wad. And I didn’t know she was to be betrothed to the Prince of Sweden. She didn’t mention it when I was balls deep—” Al cuts me off. “Shut up. I don’t need to be hearing about your balls.” He lifts a hand and turns away. Hopefully, I’ve shut him up on the topic. “Just saying I’m no saint. If I go through a presidential race, the media will be taking apart my past. It’ll be everywhere. There’ll be no escape,” I say and my chest tightens at the thought. It’s an aspect of being a political figure and public person I can’t get over. I hate the attention. Hate that reporters think they have a right to know about my

personal life. Growing up a Mathis, I should be used to it. My cousins happily pose for pictures as opposed to ditching paparazzi like me, but I also guess that the paparazzi aren’t very interested in their dull lives. Married with kids and running a candy conglomerate doesn’t scream scandal the way my escapades do. My looks just help things right along. Al lets out a mock exasperated breath. “You know I love you man, and you also know that if Pop wants you president, you’ll be president.” He reminds me how I bow to my father’s every whim. He doesn’t chide me about it, he’s just stating a fact I can’t deny. He’s right, and I’m my father’s puppet. Me bowing to his every whim is my penance. “Don’t I know it. I’m just getting frustrated. I’ve had enough of his bullying tactics and the thought of announcing my candidacy is causing me to wake up sweating in the middle of the night.” Al cocks his head to the side. “We could take off. Head back to Africa.” He gives me a challenging look. Knowing I’d love to take him up on his offer, but he also knows I don’t have the balls to do it. Besides, I still have commitments as governor. I scoff, “Yeah, Right.” In my fucking dreams. The Escalade pulls to a stop, and both Al and I exit in front of Henderson Place. “Isn’t it a shame

that they’re ripping this place down?” I ask Al while wondering why I’m here to support the destruction of this beautiful landmark. My forced presence serves to remind me how I don’t have control over my own life. I don’t have time to overthink it because as I leave the SUV, my security detail guides us to the podium. The funny part of us walking with my detail is that Al and I both stand around six-foot-two. We’re both built and in dark suits which means it’s hard to tell between our security team and us. Al turns to whisper using his hand to block his mouth. “It’s a landmark so, yes,” he shrugs. “But Mr. Bachmaker is going to make good on this new investment so who the fuck cares about maintaining a historical landmark.” His tone is sarcastic. It’s one of the reasons I respect Al. He isn’t only about the bottom dollar. He cares even though he doesn’t like to admit it too often. He’d rather people think he was an asshole. I never did understand that about him. I chuckle and shake my head. We walk toward the podium set up for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. The press is front and center ready to snap the perfect shot and come up with their next headline. I walk up to Mr. Bachmaker and shake his hand. “Congratulations, Mr. Bachmaker.” I give him my million-dollar smile. “Governor Mathis. Glad you could make it.”

Mr. Bachmaker’s grin is wide. He’s a good five inches shorter than me and at least fifteen years older. “Your father tells me you have some big news breaking next week.” He waggles his thick black grey brows. I smile. I think. It’s more like I’m pinching my lips together. “Yes, news,” I repeat because I’m now seriously considering taking off on a plane to Africa next week. If it weren’t for my commitments as governor, it would be the game plan. “Well, I’ll tell you. I have a niece. A pretty girl. She’s coming to town tomorrow. Maybe you two can get together. She’ll be working at Kincaid and Landry, moving here from Texas. Sweet girl… my sister’s daughter. I’d appreciate you showing her around. And hey, you need a lady by your side to run for office, you know? My niece Madeline may be the one.” He winks, and I groan internally. Another attempt at a setup. Blind dates weren’t my thing. If my father were here, he would be all over Mr. Bachmaker’s attempt to set me up. According to dear old dad, a candidate can’t run and win without a woman on his arm. At thirty-five and looking the way I did, snagging a first lady was a walk in the park. Only it was a walk I wasn’t ready to take. My sexual needs are more than met. No complaints from me in that department. I forced a smile, hoping I didn’t look

constipated as opposed to happy. Mr. Bachmaker sure wasn’t the first person to try and set me up with a family member, and he wouldn’t be the last. Occupational fucking hazard. “Thank you Mr. Bachmaker, and your niece sounds lovely. Kincaid and Landry is an excellent firm, very reputable. My schedule is incredibly busy right now. I’m sure you can understand with my upcoming news and all, I don’t think I’ll have time to show her around.” I reply hoping I dodged that bullet. I hated lying through my fucking teeth. “Well, now I’ll have to talk to your daddy. Maybe we can all get together,” Mr. Bachmaker replies, his Texan accent coming through. He’s apparently unwilling to drop this idea. Why he thought that talking to my father would help was beyond me. I’m a grown man, and I decided where I stuck my dick, not my old man. “Sure, Sir, let’s set something up,” I concede knowing the old guy isn’t going to let up. The contribution he’s offering came with a price tag, it usually did. Now I had a week to tell dear old dad I wasn’t running for the presidency. The public saw me as this sharp, powerful figure fighting to get things done, laws passed, but that wasn’t who I was on the inside. I was a fucking grown man who was scared. Yes, I can use that word in my head only. I was scared to stand up to my old man. Fuck that was a difficult internal confession to swallow.

The ribbon cutting ceremony began. The press took their positions and Al took his spot beside me. “You think his niece looks like him?” he whispers in my ear. I kick him in the shin and he lurches forward. “Shut up,” I whisper. Cameras are on us. I didn’t want to come across as a juvenile. My opponents liked to argue I was too young for my role. I didn’t want to give them bait. There was also the issue that Al was a bit of a prick when it came to women and he had many which could bring unwanted media attention. I wasn’t a prick. I was always honest, upfront. I didn’t want to leave a trail of broken hearts behind or bring scandal to my office. Mr. Bachmaker stepped forward to cut the ribbon. In the distance, I noticed a long line of protesters making their way to the front of the podium. They were holding large signs and screaming “Save Henderson Place,” repeatedly. I had half a mind to jump off the podium and join them. “Don’t even think about it,” Al elbows me in the ribs and speaks from beneath his hand. He knew me well that was for damn sure. I gave him a knowing glare. He tilted his head to the side and gave me a look filled with caution. “Don’t,” he said to emphasize his point. He was right. As much as I supported free speech and the right to assemble, this was not the

time to stand up for what I believed. Now was the time to shake the hand of the man that was going to rip this beautiful building down. A structure that added character and vitality to our city. Instead he was going to build high-rise condominiums that would result in more traffic jams, use of too much hydro-electricity, and generate inequality due to the expense of making such a tall building. I smiled and took a step forward to shake Bachmaker’s hand. Yes, I was a fucking hypocrite but don’t judge. At least not until you hear my whole story. I spoke a few words into the microphone, but I honestly don’t think anyone heard me over the shouting of the protesters. I focused on the police cars positioned on the edge of the parking lot where the ceremony was taking place. I noticed the police setting up a blockade. After my brief speech, I stepped off the podium and shook Mr. Bachmaker’s hand once more. “I’ll be in touch about that date with my niece,” he nodded assuredly. “Yes, looking forward,” I smiled and straightened my tie which suddenly felt a little too tight around my neck. “Good luck with this project,” I said, then turned to leave. My detail is hot on my trail as I walked back to the Escalade since the protestors had moved up closer to the podium.

“You planning on getting hot and heavy with what was her name again?” Al tapped his chin fucking with me. “It started with an M.” He pressed his lips together. As we walked past the protesters, I picked my head up to look at them. Although they were a rambunctious crowd, they weren’t putting up with shit. They were standing here voicing their opinions, standing up for what they believed in, and me? I was a fucking joke. I knew it and it was eating away at me. “Governor Mathis?” I heard the voice of a female shout my name. I picked my eyes up to make eye contact. When I spotted the female with the shouty voice, she had a cream pie flying at me faster than I could think. It slammed me in the face. The cool feel of whipped cream practically blinding me. Al burst into laughter beside me appreciating the sight when not a moment passed and he was met with the same fate. Pie is making contact with his smug grin. “Not so funny, now is it?” I shook my head. He could be so juvenile at times. As we both used our hands to wipe away the excess cream from our eyes, one of the men on my detail offered me a handkerchief while shielding us from any more protesters. I noticed the police charging toward the crowds while I kept my gaze locked on the woman who called my name and then had the nerve to whip a pie in my face. Her red hair flailed in the

wind as I saw her taking off in the opposite direction. The red-haired vixen got away. I chuckled to myself. Can’t say I blamed her for the courageous act. I had just openly supported the destruction of a beautiful historical building. “We have to cancel the school visit,” Al said, looking down to his suit. The whipped cream had oozed down his neck and was dripping on his suit jacket. I was in a similar state. “We aren’t canceling. We’re heading there as promised. We can clean up in the school bathroom,” I said, and it wasn’t a suggestion. I was a man of my word, and those kids were waiting for their pizza. He rolled his eyes at me knowing I wasn’t going to concede. On the way to the school, my cell phone rang. My father’s name lit up the screen. James Mathis was a force to be reckoned with. “Father.” “Colton, what on earth….” His list of expletives followed. “The media is all over the fact that you had a pie thrown in your face. What happened to keeping a low profile before the announcement next week?” My father ran my campaign and he took his job too seriously. “Don’t shout at me. You’re the one who set up that media op anyway. I played along as usual. Don’t blame me if it backfired,” I hissed, biting my

tongue because what I wanted to tell him was that it turned out perfectly. I didn’t want to run for president. “Did they at least catch the son of a bitch that did it? No one throws a pie at the Governor of Illinois and gets away with it.” My father was pissed and his long drawl came through the phone. “They didn’t catch her. Fine by me though.” “Her?” my father asked, perplexed. “Yes, it was a woman that threw the pie,” I responded thinking of her pretty face. She was more than lovely; she was beautiful, the way her blue eyes danced with mischief as she ran away from the police was now ingrained in my brain maybe forever. She was a free spirit and her smile breathed sunshine. My father huffed. That’s what he did when he was at a loss for words which didn’t happen often. Then I heard a few heavy breaths before he continued. “Just great. I need to go. I have to find a way to spin this incident,” he mumbled to himself before I heard the phone click. No goodbye. I wish I wanted the things my father wanted for me because he was so driven and together we could probably land me in the role of president, that was the irony in all this. So many people envied my position. In my head, though it felt more of an instance of the grass being greener on the other side. To me the simple people who lead ordinary

lives had me intrigued. They did what they wanted and didn’t have to answer to bossy parents who were power hungry. After cleaning ourselves up, we spent a good hour eating pizza with Ms. Fitz’s class. Well, it was more like I ate the pizza while Al flirted with Ms. Fitz. We discussed learning and the kids asked me questions about government and making the world a better place. I never wanted to have children of my own. It was something I just never craved, but I loved how real and altruistic children were. “Mr. Mathis. Can you help end poverty in our city?” a young boy named Mathew Murphy asked. Man, I would have loved nothing more than to make sure each person was fed and had a roof over their head, but Chicago is a dynamic city with many people. The budget wouldn’t cover that reality. “Mathew, I’m working on all kinds of reforms. I want to end poverty. I want everyone to have a nice place to live and food on their table. I’m doing the best I can, buddy.” I forced a smile because I wanted to do more. More needed to be done. It was obvious. It was times like this that I wanted to pack a bag and head back to Africa. At least there I saw the difference I could make. Here in Chicago making a difference took a lot longer. Mathew smiled at me and nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Governor, I’d appreciate that.”

His words pulled at my heartstrings, reminding me why I allowed my father to convince me to run for state attorney and eventually the governorshipso that I could influence change. I learned the hard way that change wasn’t so easy. I was a grassroots kind of guy to my core, that’s why I fit in the Peace Corps. In the villages, small changes helped improved agriculture and drinking water. It was a group effort. Here in the US, bureaucracy bogged things down. We wrapped up in Ms. Fitz’s classroom and I’m pretty sure Al scored her number. Then we headed back to the office. My dad always tried to sell me on the idea that I was different than other politicians, that I was special and that I could be a driving force for change, for creating good and equality. Heck, there were times I bought his rhetoric, just not this time. Years in politics taught me change was hard to come by and that little incident this afternoon with Mr. Bachmaker reminded me that money didn’t sway me. I wasn’t the guy who would concede on his values for an endorsement; I wasn’t the right guy to run for president. Back at my desk, I pressed the call button and my secretary Susan picked up. “Yes, Mr. Governor?” her voice came through the speaker. “I need you to search for a boy named Mathew

Murphy.” “Can you give me a little more information, Sir?” Susan asked. “Yes, he’s a student at Greensboro Elementary. Find out where he lives and what his parents do,” I said through the phone, knowing this wasn’t a conventional request for a secretary in a governor’s office. Susan was used to these types of requests from me. She was very good about keeping things confidential. Even things that may be borderline illegal, like this request. “Okay, Sir. And once I have that information what would you like me to do?” Susan asked because she was good at her job, always thinking a few steps ahead. That way she didn’t need to bother me when she found out. “Secure the home address and let me know where they live and any family background you can gather,” I responded. “Getting right on that, Sir,” Susan responded. “Thank you,” I pressed the speaker button to end the call. I had to know why Mathew was so concerned with poverty. His old clothes and worn out shoes told me that maybe his family wasn’t fairing so well. I couldn’t save the world with my trust fund but I liked to make a small difference when I could.

Chapter Two “Would you stop consulting with Albert on his latest conquest and mingle a little.” My father leaned into my ear and shout-whispered. There was never a moment to myself when he accompanied me to functions, and this one was no different. Mingle Colton, make connections Colton, maybe find yourself a wife while you’re at it, Colton. I swear I was sick of my name. I clenched my fists at my side feeling my jaw tense. I had wanted to give my father a piece of my mind so many times in the past and held back. Lately, the urge was growing stronger and gaining fuel. I didn’t know what fire was causing my fuel to burn but I was embracing it for once. I gave him a side-long glance while gnawing at the inside of my cheek hoping it would curb the words threatening to spill from my lips. Without answering him, I returned my attention to Al, who just asked me to tweak my speech tonight to include a vague comment about old age pension since we were trying to capture the senior vote. Assuming I was still announcing my intent to run for President. I tended not to share my intimate

thoughts on the matter with Al anymore even though he was my best friend; he always wanted me to run. He believed I was the right guy for the job. “Will do,” I replied, not wanting to stir the pot before I made a final decision. “Don’t ignore me, boys,” my father cut in. It’s funny that he still liked to call us boys. We were far from boys. I left my father’s home when I went off to college and never returned. Al and I also paid our bills and fucked around with too many women to be considered boys. “With all due respect Mr. Mathis. Our boy,” Al grinned salaciously, “is nowhere near ready to settle down. He may not have a bride by his side, but our boy,” he accentuated again, “is well liked.” Al responded to my father understanding his hidden meaning in the words mingle. I knew there was a reason I kept Al close. I blew out a breath, straightened my tie, gave my father a cheeky smile and said, “Time to mingle.” I just wanted to remove myself from my father’s presence before he took on the role of matchmaker and dragged me around the room to meet all the potential lifelong partners in the place. I’m not exaggerating; he’d done that before. It wasn’t pretty. It usually ended in him finding me a lady whom he felt was, and I quote, the perfect match… proper upbringing, education and wanting to commit to the role of the first lady.

Gah! The problem was the many holes in his tactics. Firstly, most of the single women he came across wanted to date me or at minimum bed me. These females took in the scent of power that the governorship gave and wanted in. I was good looking, built, had a trust fund, and a sleeve of tattoos down my arm. Most women were intrigued by the tattoos. Not many men at my political stature had them, at least from what the public knew. It had become an intrigue for a politician to have a tattoo. I blame the Canadian Prime Minister who visited Washington last year. The media was all about publicizing his tattoos and somehow they latched on to me too, reporting on my muscular arms and colorful sleeve. The media attention added to the frenzy on me even though I’d already been established as Chicago’s most wanted bachelor. I scanned the room in search of some interesting conversation. This was the second year I was attending the Veteran Affairs Gala. I respected our veterans wholeheartedly. Before I applied to Harvard, I wanted to join the military. My father had been against it. Said I was all he had and if something happened to me, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. I didn’t enlist naturally but I’ve always felt like it was something I should have done.

Just as I’m about to have a seat at one of the tables next to some older veterans that have tags on their suit jackets saying they fought in Vietnam my father stops me. “Son, glad I caught you. Mr. Bachmaker wants to introduce you to his niece.” My eyes widened and I blew out a long puff of air. Is that guy here tonight? Dammit! For some reason, I had a feeling my father would orchestrate a meeting. I just didn’t think it would be so soon. “Not tonight. I was hoping to speak to these men.” I nodded to the gentlemen sitting around the table exchanging war stories. My father pursed his lips together a telltale sign he wanted to get his way. “Don’t you see that this is for your own good?” I was losing the battle to meet the niece, so I caved like I usually did. I couldn’t be the only one raised by a single parent who was intrusive and borderline obsessive about my personal life. I just couldn’t be. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a woman standing by your side when you make your announcement?” My father’s dark brows furrowed together. His deep brown eyes, so different from mine, darkened while he waited in anticipation. I tilted my head back and a deep chuckle escaped my throat. “I don’t need a woman beside me when I have a different one under me every night.” I winked because my father was the one who taught me how to be a lady’s man. I learned from the best and now he was all for me throwing

my bachelor status and fun out the window. “Not here, Colton. You can’t think with your dick when it comes to campaigning. Thinking with your dick will have you falling for the wrong woman.” And even though he didn’t say it, I knew he was speaking of my mother. “You can’t surely believe I could meet and have time to fall in love with a woman in a span of a couple of weeks? You know me.” I scoffed, shaking my head at the notion. I’ve never had a relationship last longer than three months. My old man hasn’t had a relationship with a woman last more than a few weeks since Mom left. How he thinks I can fall in love so quickly was ludicrous. “You’re my son. I’m fully aware of what you are and are not capable of. That’s why you need a nudge from your father.” He tilted his chin urging me forward. I turned my head so that our eyes were level. “Did you ever consider that maybe I have no interest in being president?” The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them. My father clenched his jaw and got a daunting look in his eyes. I usually didn’t take such a rebellious stance with him but sometimes desperate measures called for extreme responses. My father’s face fell and his skin paled. “Is that what you want, Colton? Truly? Because I’ve dedicated my life getting you to this point,” his

voice trailed off and his words settled on me like a thick honey coat of guilt. “Just introduce me to the niece,” I conceded feeling even more defeat. Like my face was pressed into the sand and I was unable to breathe. I extended a hand for him to lead the way a hollow version of myself following. He glared disappointedly before passing me with the silent instruction to follow. And even though my breathing was labored, my usual guilt roiled in my stomach. The blame he used to get me to do anything he damn well pleased. “Mr. Bachmaker, you remember my son, Governor Colton Mathis.” My father smiled proudly making the introduction. Mr. Bachmaker’s family was in the oil business down in Texas before they began to spread their wings across the country and buy real estate when the market crashed many years back. My romancing his niece would result in a substantial contribution to my campaign. I felt like a prostitute. I wasn’t going to sleep with her even if she was pretty just to prove that I stuck my dick where I chose and not where I was told. Why did I feel so childish thinking those words? My mind had been warped somewhere from the time my mother took off until today. “Hello, again Mr. Bachmaker.” “Pleasure is all mine, Colton.” He grinned before turning to the young woman sitting by his

side. He gave her a nudge and she fumbled to stand. “I’d like to introduce you to my niece. Madeline Huntsworth.” The woman smiled a toothy grin. I couldn’t help but rake my eyes over her body. She didn’t look like Mr. Bachmaker at all. She was blonde, pretty green eyes, smiled a lot. Wore a dark blue dress that was simple and sophisticated. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came straight from her office to the gala. She was average height, nice full breasts. In short, she was doable. As the thought entered my mind, I chided myself for sounding so much like Al in my head. Was I considering sleeping with this woman? What had my life come to? I felt low, dirty. It’s the one thing I promised myself I would never feel like as politician and here I was for the first time in my life feeling utterly defeated. And it was only a matter of time before I would make an announcement that would change my life forever. Fucking hell. I extended my hand with a smile because Mathis men are always gentlemen. “Madeline, it’s a pleasure.” I paused to look at my father. He had such a pleased look on his face. That overwhelming feeling of not wanting to disappoint him swept over me once more. “Colt,” I finally said and my father let out a loud cough like he was choking. Only him, Al and a few close friends from college ever called me Colt. He was probably worried I was about to sabotage his efforts.

Madeline’s cheeks turned pink as I said my nickname. It wasn’t something new for me to see a woman blush in my presence since most women had that reaction to my looks. It was my ocean blue eyes. Women feel like I can see right through them because of the bright coloring. I never argue that notion because it gets me laid, but it’s a crock of shit. They also tell me I could be Henry Cavill’s twin with my large built frame, wide jaw bone and high cheeks. My response is usually, “You mean he looks like me.” Okay, so I may be a little conceited but I still am a nice guy, I swear. On some level, it’s my self-deprecation about my looks that makes me brush them off too. I know I don’t look like my father which means I look like the woman that gave me life and left me behind. A part of me hated having her look back at me when I looked in the mirror. “Nice to meet you.” She shakes my hand firmly and I felt the reverberations down my arm. Not surprising. I suspect she had to earn her place in a courtroom as a defense attorney. “Which law firm are you with?” I ask just to make conversation because her dear old uncle already told me. Off to the side, I noticed my father whispering something to her uncle probably campaign stuff I didn’t care to know about. “Kincaid and Landry,” she replies while smiling from cheek to cheek and batting her eyelashes. She

must be a second-year associate at best. I was much older than her but I get why her uncle would think that the possible next president of the United States would be a good match. She’s precisely the type of woman my father refers to as proper upbringing, education, and family name. “Yes, of course, I’m familiar with the firm. I used to practice in Illinois myself. I heard Kincaid Senior is about to retire,” I say feeling the need to pull teeth to make conversation. “Yes, I heard that too,” she confirms. Again, she ends the potential for further conversation. Feeling like I’ve been staring at her awkwardly for a few seconds longer than I’d like, I allow my gaze to wander to either side of the room. Father was in deep conversation with Mr. Bachmaker to my right. I scan the room for Al, hoping I could eye motion him to save me from this situation but instead I notice a woman briskly walk past me, her long red hair catches my attention and the scent of strawberry she leaves behind makes me want to follow her like a dog in heat. My gaze remains trained on her as she pauses and smiles at an older man. I watch their animated conversation. How they look warmly at each other. Like a grandfather would his granddaughter and suddenly I’m so intrigued I forget where I am and who I’m speaking with. I can only see her profile, pale skin, blue eyes, lush red lips, a spattering of freckles across her

cheeks. My eyes roam down her body unashamedly to the curve of her behind in that slender red gown and my dick stiffens. Oh, fuck! I’m the first to admit that my body readily reacts to a beautiful woman, but this lady…she blows everyone else out of the water. My breath catches and my chest warms, I’m not sure what’s happening but before I know it, my feet are moving. I’m following her and the older man she’s with, but I’m at least a few feet behind them. I’m pretty sure I hear my father call out my name from behind me but I don’t turn around because I’m too enthralled with the lady before me. She pauses in the middle of the dance floor where she and the older guy begin to dance to “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole and for some reason this moment is unforgettable as I watch them, her face pressed to the older man’s chest. He looks like he must be a World War II veteran, maybe her grandfather. Before I can think my legs are carrying me toward them. My eyes glued to her. This mystery woman who has captured my breath with one glance. “Excuse me. May I cut in?” I ask. Her back is facing me and she doesn’t move from her spot or turn her head. The older man stops dancing and she lifts her head to look in his eyes. “That would be up to her,” he replies. He looks at the beautiful woman in his arms and she turns to look at me but her stare is blank. Her blue eyes

sparkle in the dim light of the dance floor and some crystal stones on her dress glimmer off the chandelier lights. She doesn’t answer me, so I repeat my question and extend a hand. “May I have this dance?” She smiles and it’s brilliant. It also sends a pang of warmth into my chest. She looks at the older man for a moment. “Sorry, I’m busy,” she replies. It’s completely unexpected. I wonder if she knows who I am. I know it sounds cocky but seriously, given my looks and position women are putty in my hands. She continues to dance with the older guy. I’m stuck standing in my spot, my mouth hanging open. I’m speechless for a brief moment when I realize I don’t want to take no for an answer. I want one dance, one conversation, at least the chance to know what she’s like. It’s an odd sensation for me because I’ve never been genuinely interested in a lady past a good lay, but I’m intrigued. I take two steps and tap her shoulder since her back is to me. She turns to look at me like I’m a nuisance, her mouth opens to speak but I interrupt her. “Sorry to intrude again, but…” I pause as the memory of the Bachmaker ribbon cutting ceremony replays in my mind. I get a fluttery feeling in my chest, my brows furrow and my curiosity becomes even more heightened because taking a look at her

up close tells me that my memory isn’t mistaken and she’s the pie-whipping bandit. For some reason, I find the situation amusing and my eyes drag up and down her body. Geez, she cleans up nice. She’s fucking stunning, classy, elegant. Nothing like the wild, free, and apparently angry woman that threw the pie. “I’m sorry can I help you?” Her brows are dipped together as she asks the question. She also seems a little nervous like maybe she knows I’ve recognized her. “I’d really like a dance.” I persist hoping she doesn’t get turned off by my perseverance but now that I see it’s her, I want the dance even more. She shakes her head. “Why?” I insist. I’m a little pushy but my ego is hurt and now I also want to know why she’s a piewielding vixen in her spare time. The older man gives her a little nudge and with unspoken words with a blink of an eye and a tilt of a chin tells her to dance with me. She blows out a puff of air and stares at the old guy, her eyes narrowing to slits. I’m pretty sure she’s about to tell him off or me where to go when she says, “Fine. One dance.” Ha! My ego is taking a real beating tonight. I feel like I’m treading on uncharted territory. In my past relations with women when things got too serious we broke it off. It was an arrangement I

always set up off the bat. No complications, no spewing my undying love. Just raw animalistic sex. Simple. I tilt my head almost in a bow and extend my hand. She takes it and I place one hand on her slender hip. My hand making contact with the silky fabric of her dress. She smells delectable; I’m enthralled. I can’t understand it for the life of me. We dance at a distance from each other and as the music continues, all I can think is that this woman is unforgettable. “Are you going to give me your name?” I finally ask, breaking the silent stare between us. She bites her lower lip and tilts her head to the side like she’s assessing me. “I guess I could,” she replies but she doesn’t give me her name while her lip curves in one corner. She continues to smile devilishly as we softly sway to the voices of Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole radiating through the hall making the moment feel surreal. “And it would be,” I coax her into giving me her name. “Evie,” she says sweetly looking deeply into my eyes. She has an accent I can’t place. “Evie, that’s a beautiful name. I’m Colton,” I grin. “I know, Mr. Governor,” she replies her tone terse. It throws me off a little as I wonder what her deal is. My intrigue wins out.

“So, beautiful Evie. What brings you to the Veteran Affairs ball tonight?” “My uncle is a vet, World War II. He raised me; I respect him very much. So, I’m here.” She shrugs her shoulders. It felt like she wanted to say more and stopped herself. Her accent has me very curious but I don’t want to be rude and ask. I have to be careful with this woman because my sense tells me one wrong word from my mouth and she’s taking a hike. I’m not used to this, being the one to chase. It gives me an unexpected thrill. “And you Mr. Governor. Why are you here?” she asks throwing me off my tracks. Isn’t it obvious why I’m here? To support the veterans, of course. I smirk and bite my lower lip while I contemplate my answer for a moment. “I thought my presence would be obvious.” The song changes to another slow song. I’m worried my time with her is up, but she doesn’t pull away from my embrace. “You mean to secure your support with the war veterans. I heard you’re about to announce that you’re running for the presidency.” Her words are more of a statement than a comment which causes my chest to tighten and my breath to hitch. I know there’s speculation whether I will run, but I hadn’t realized it was common knowledge. “Ouch, that isn’t fair. I respect our military. I respect the men that have given up so much of their

lives to fight our wars, to protect our freedoms.” The words bleed from me with the utmost conviction. “You seem passionate about the subject,” she retorts with a hint of surprise in her tone. I can’t help but notice how she watches me so intently when I speak grabbing onto my every word. Watching my mouth, looking into my eyes. This woman is so different. Different, good. “You sound surprised.” I grin, hoping to win her over with my smile. My smile has always been a sure thing. Her lips slowly spread and I feel like maybe I’m winning her over. She shakes her head. “Sorry, I don’t know why but I had a different picture of you in my mind.” I want to say yeah, a picture where my face is covered in cream pie, thanks to yours truly? I keep my mouth shut. For now. “Really? Do you mind sharing exactly what you mean?” I’m pushing a little but I can’t help myself. She seems to be a critic. I need to sway her. “I just figured you were this spoiled rich kid who had the governorship handed to him on a silver platter,” she answers, and my jaw drops. Fucking hell. She has no filter and yet I find her sexy as hell. “That isn’t fair. I worked damn hard to get top grades at Harvard Law School. I worked a hundred

hours a week in the prosecutor’s office before I even ran for state attorney. I may have been raised with money and I may have a topnotch education, but I’ve worked hard all my life. I set goals and I achieved them. I shouldn’t be blasted for hard work,” I scoff. I don’t mean too, but I need to set her straight. Besides I’ve been blasted with such accusations in the past. I have this speech ready at the tip of my tongue. The only difference is I’ve never defended myself to a woman I wanted to bed so badly. And a woman who I seem to repulse. She squints her eyes, not relenting on that deep stare she seems to give me. It looks like she’s unsure if she should buy my argument. I need to change tactic. “Enough about me and my uninteresting life. Tell me about you. What do you do?” I ask as we move to the music. We’ve been dancing for awhile; I hope the DJ continues with the string of slow songs. “I work in a clothing shop and on my free time, I volunteer with Habitat for Humanity. It’s—” I cut her off. “I know what it is. Jeez. You must think I’m a real schmuck.” She eyes me curiously. “We had a donor donate some commercial land a few months back. We petitioned Cook County to have it transferred to a residential designation so we could build some homes. Two blocks over is a

residential area; only we were declined. A representative from Habitat came to your office seeking your help in changing the order; only you were too busy to see him. You said you would call him back. You never did. We had planned to build homes for families that don’t have one. I’m sorry Mr. Governor, but you’re right. I think you’re a real schmuck.” My breath hitches as she pulls out of my embrace and takes a few steps back. Did she just call me a schmuck to my face? “If you’ll excuse me.” She turns to stalk away from me. I can’t have her walk away. I have to see her again. My feet are moving before I can even process what’s happened. “Evie wait…please,” I beg but she doesn’t turn around. “Give her space,” a deep scratchy voice says from behind me. I turn around to see the source of advice. The older man that was dancing with Evie earlier approaches me. I think she said he was her uncle, although he seems a little old to be her uncle. “You’re her uncle, right?” he shakes his head. “Her grandfather,” he says. Okay, so she lied. What else did she lie to me about? “Uh,” I nod. “I think she likes you,” he says, throwing me off. I don’t want to pop his bubble and tell him that she hates me. I chuckle, “She just called me a schmuck and

took off. Pretty sure that’s a sure sign I was shot down.” “A schmuck, huh?” he chortles and begins to laugh so hard his belly moves with him. When his laugh dies, his face turns serious. “She always did say what was on her mind.” I straighten my tie and mutter, “apparently.” Then I snicker to myself this night just gets weirder by the passing minutes. “You get around. I see the gossip columns,” he says, his voice turning stern. “My granddaughter isn’t that type of girl.” Okay. Where did that come from? This old man and his granddaughter need some sort of verbal filter. “I know she isn’t that type of girl and don’t believe everything you read. I happen to be a nice guy. Truly,” I quip. “Can you tell me where I can find her? I just want to have a cup of coffee with her,” I say, thinking it sounds safe. The old guy continues to stare at me like he’s trying to get inside my head and read my thoughts. He takes a couple of steps toward me. His eyes narrowing. “Coffee,” he repeats. “Okay, you gotta pen and paper?” He waits expectantly. I was expecting another snide remark, so I pause before it hits me to reach for my phone. I pull my cell phone out and get ready to type. “Sanderson School for the Deaf,” he says. “You mean she works there?” I ask because if

I’m not mistaken, she told me she works in a clothing store. Probably another lie. I should take the hint and let well enough be. He gives me a look like I’m deft. “She’s my granddaughter. I ain’t giving you her home address because I don’t trust you. She didn’t give me permission to pass her phone number on so I won’t. You want to see her again you need to work for it. Meaning you find her at work and ask her out. You want coffee? Fine, but you gotta put the work in. My granddaughter is special like I said.” He tilts his chin. “You have a good night now.” “You said Sanderson School for the Deaf. Right?” I shout out to confirm. He lifts his right hand and waves before entering the hall where the party is taking place. His words repeat in my head. I need to work for it. Well, game on. I definitely don’t shy away from a challenge.

Chapter Three Evie As I drive down the street, I come to an abrupt stop at a red light. I can’t believe how late I am for school. I’m never running this late. Problem is I couldn’t get to sleep last night after the ball. I sip my coffee and press the gas a little too harshly causing the car to jerk and my coffee to slip over the rim of the cup and onto my white blouse. Of course, my morning just gets better and better. I grab a tissue and dab at my blouse. A big yellow stain has already formed down the front. My father was Grandpa Jack’s son. When I was two years old, he found himself fighting a different battle dying from complications from the flu. I take a quick right turn and head toward school as a long yawn escapes my lips. My grandfather is only visiting me for a short while here in Chicago before he heads back to LA. I like to support his veteran affair commitments basically because he stood up to the plate when there were no other takers. He gave me love the best way he knew how and saved me from ending up in the system.

I feel out of sorts after last night. My nerves strung high. It was by fluke that I made it to protest the destruction of Henderson Place only to have my best friend Jake place a cream pie in my hand. I’m only passionate about certain things in life. I certainly don’t go out of my way to fight battles that aren’t my business like Jake does. Heck, I don’t even know what the governor was saying about Henderson place since he was too far away for me to read his lips. What I did know was that the Governor was there to support its destruction. Just the thought made my stomach turn because it meant he didn’t care about the heritage of our city but more so I was angry that he didn’t even have the decency to meet with Jake and the project manager when he brought the proposal from Habitat for Humanity to his office. It had been rejected the previous week in the Cook County Development Department, and the governor was our last resort before the project would be shut down. I was fueled by the fire of his rejection of the project when I threw that pie at him. It was only a bonus that Jake nailed his chief of staff. I also didn’t expect to nail the governor right in the face. I started freaking the heck out when I did. Throwing a pie must be a felony in the great state of Illinois. I’m sure of it and I’m a teacher for goodness sake. I could lose my license. Hence my lack of sleep last night. I mean who would have thought that not

even twenty-four hours after throwing a pie in his face I would find myself face to face with none other than the governor himself. And not only did I come face to face with him but he seemed interested in me in a way that wasn’t friendly, the look in his gorgeous blue eyes spoke of something feral, needy, sexual, and almost devious. To say I wasn’t weak at the knees would be a lie because they were knocking together as we danced and not only out of fear of him recognizing me but more because he was so darn handsome. His smile was kind, his eyes bluer than the bluest of seas, and his masculine scent all had me thrown off kilter. That never happens to me. And so, when my heart rate speed up and my mouth watered at the sight of him I did the only thing that made sense. I put up my defenses. Scolded him for not meeting with Jake about the Habitat project and called him a schmuck to his face. Okay, maybe the whole schmuck thing was a little overboard, but honestly what was a simple girl like me to do when faced with such a handsome powerful man? Besides he had his priorities crossed when it came to politics. I had gone over the long list of reasons why him and me would be a bad idea last night in bed, and the list was too darn long to even contemplate the pros. Now I was a hot mess this morning with a coffee-stained shirt and the papers I graded for my tenth-grade science class sitting on the floor of my

car in a heap completely out of order. My mind was everywhere as I convinced myself that the governor was all wrong for me. I finally parked in my usual reserved spot and reached for the papers I graded on the floor. There was no time to organize, and I would have to do that later. I just picked up the heap and held it close to my chest while some of the pile threatened to slip through my fingers. I grabbed my huge purse, throwing my water bottle inside, then grabbed my cup of coffee and left the car. As I walked in my stilettos and too tight pencil skirt, I worried about spilling more coffee down my shirt. It didn’t help that tonight was parent-teacher conferences and I would have to meet parents with a stained shirt. I finally made it into my morning class remembering the lie I told the governor about working in a clothing store. I’m not even sure how that lie came about other than my nerves were frayed by his good looks and the mixed thoughts about getting arrested for the damn pie incident. I stopped dead in my tracks as I passed the threshold to my classroom because a man with broad shoulders, wearing a dark suit was looking out the back windows at the courtyard. Fuck me! I didn’t usually swear but fuck me! He was here in my classroom, in my school. I was going to kill Grandpa Jack, that could be the only explanation as to how this man found me. I leaned forward on my desk and plopped down the large heap of papers I

was holding. Followed by my cup of coffee and too large purse. He must have sensed my arrival because at that moment he turned his head followed by his body. Those dazzling blue eyes raking over every inch of me before a slow smile formed on his lips. I didn’t mean for the warmth I felt in my chest to spread throughout my body, but it did. Moving on its own accord before slipping between my thighs and reminding me that the male in front of me was all man. And before I had time to remember that I ended last night by calling him a schmuck and taking off, nervous words were spilling from my mouth. “What are you doing here?” His brows dipped together before those thick lips of his moved and said. “I’m here to see you.” I laughed. “You’re a glutton for punishment, I see. If I remember I called you a schmuck yesterday.” His smile grew, maybe he made a sound of laughter. I’m not sure. It had been so long since I heard a sound that it seemed a part of a different life and time. “You did. I haven’t forgotten.” He cocked a brow. “I think we got off on the wrong foot and I wanted to rectify that,” he said but he was speaking rapidly. Too fast. I only got half of what he’d said. “Sorry, can you repeat that?” I asked.

“I want to fix things between us. Take you out for dinner.” He grinned a smile that probably had many women in his past saying yes to his every whim. I tilted my head to the side and gave him a look that said ‘what’s your angle buddy?’ He muttered something, but I don’t know what he said. Then he looked exasperated. “You threw a cream pie at my face at the Henderson Place ribbon cutting ceremony. You should at least say yes to my dinner proposal. You owe me.” My eyes turned so wide and round I thought they might bulge out of my head. My heart raced at the thought that he was here to have me arrested. He lifted a hand. “Relax. I’m not here to get you into any trouble.” He grinned widely then coughed looking around my empty classroom for a brief moment. “Although I can’t believe that teachers throw cream pies at governor’s in their spare time.” “It was a once in a lifetime occurrence,” I quipped. Then thought better of it. “I’m sorry. I was having a bad day and you were smiling so wide at the ceremony like you loved the idea of ripping poor Henderson Place down, plus you wouldn’t help out with the Habitat project.” “And for that I’m sorry. I want another chance to make a first impression on you. I hate that Henderson Place is getting demolished,” he stopped

talking. “Okay, how about we meet for dinner, and we review your Habitat proposal over dessert?” he offered. “Great, I’ll ask my friend….” I began but he cut me off with a shake of his head. “No, you make the proposal. Not your friend.” “You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Governor,” I smiled a little too much, unable to control my need to flirt with this man. “Great, so do I have my driver pick you up from school or are you going to tell me where you live?” I thought long and hard about his question. My apartment was my personal space. Did I want to share that information? I mean he is the governor so he can’t be the crazy stalker type. And he was very dreamy, too dreamy. There was only one problem. I don’t think that he caught on to the fact that I was deaf. Would he still be interested in me when he found out? Did I even want to go out on a date with a man that was able to hear? I knew from my peers and past relationships that it wouldn’t work in the long run and anyway did the governor truly see me as someone he could be with past a one-night stand? I hated all the questions running through my mind but at the end, my curiosity and the need to get to know the handsome governor won out, “My apartment is fine. Only I can’t meet for dinner tonight. Parent-teacher conferences.” I reached for a notepad on my desk and scribbled my

address down. Then I passed him the paper. He was grinning like the darn Cheshire Cat. “Fine, tomorrow evening then,” he responded. I looked at the clock it was eight fifty-five and the students began trickling into the classroom. We had no bells here. They weren’t needed. “Yes.” I smiled and he turned and left. I fell back in my chair and blew out a long breath. I had a date with the Governor of Illinois. Holy shit! I let out a loud noise knowing my students wouldn’t hear it anyway then put my straight face on to teach. Still, I was giddy the whole darn day.

Chapter Four Colton Susan’s voice came through the speaker. “Is now a good time, Sir?” “Yes, Susan come on in,” I responded, leaning back in my chair. It was early in the morning. I had finished my usual morning run on my treadmill at the apartment I stayed in here in the city and was now showered and ready for a day of work. The fact that I felt tired wasn’t unusual. It was the reason I felt this way that irked me. I had spent hours into the night thinking of Evie. She was bent over my bed, her round ass up in the air…I had to stop my thoughts. I was obsessing and I sure as hell never obsessed over a woman before. I needed a distraction… A moment later my secretary entered my office. She had been a loyal employee for the past decade. A middle-aged single mother of two grown boys. Her smile was warm when she saw me. She was holding the newspaper in her hand. Perfect…a distraction. “I came across a cute little story,” she said,

eyeing me in an accusing way over her rimless framed glasses. “Okay,” I leaned back in my chair and ran a hand over the scruff on my chin unsure where she was going with this little semi interrogation. “I didn’t make the gossip columns again did I?” I huffed out a breath. The gossip columns loved to report on my love life, who was I seeing? How long would it last? Would my current dame be able to tame the infamous bachelor of Chicago? It was a boring old tale. “Gossip columns, No. May I take a seat?” she eyed the chair opposite my desk. She didn’t need to ask me to take a seat. We were way past that formality in our working relationship yet no matter how many times I scolded her for it she did it anyway. “Take a seat and tell me what has you smiling like that so early in the morning.” I shook my head but she knew I was just playing with her. She laughed, took a seat, her posture impeccable as she held up the newspaper in front of her and began to read. “Good Samaritan saves a family from living on the street.” After reading the headline her brown eyes narrow, assessing me. “Should I continue?” There is a hint of sarcasm and admiration in her tone. “Please,” my lips turn down as I begin to chew the inside of my mouth.

“A good Samaritan had a check made out to cash in the sum of one hundred thousand dollars and had it delivered to the Murphy residence via a personal delivery service. The youngest son who will not be named here because of his age opened his front door to a man in a suit and a dark pair of sunglasses. After his mother scolded him for opening the door to a stranger his mother, Anita Murphy, a single mother of three young children who was living on welfare and was facing eviction found out that the man at the door wasn’t dangerous. In fact, he was more like a modern-day Robin Hood giving money to the poor people living in the government subsidized housing project.” Susan paused and removed her glasses. “I guess that you know how this story ends and I don’t need to read further,” she continued to smile deliriously like a mother would when proud of her son. Most times Susan felt like the mother I didn’t have. “I don’t know what you mean,” I still feigned innocence. “Fine, I know you like to play that card. That was a grand gesture and I’m proud of you. That’s all I will ever say on the matter.” I grinned back at her warmly. She knew how to pull my heartstrings. When she came to work for me ten years ago I was just starting out as a lawyer, and she was working in the prosecutor’s office while raising her boys. I’d seen how hard she worked, how tired she

sometimes was coming into work in the morning. I’d also seen her dedication to her children. It was something I had craved from my father and never received. Susan would leave work to take one son to basketball practice, the other to piano lessons and then make dinner and sit with them for homework. Her ex-husband had been a real deadbeat and eventually left her to raise the boys on her own with no support. She wasn’t making much at the prosecutor’s office and so when I started my campaigning, I hired her as my assistant which upped her salary big time. She kept changing her job titles as need be as the years went on. “Thank you, let’s get back to work.” I gave her a nod that said I meant business. “Such a good man,” her lips thinned and the smile she gave was small, but the warmth that radiated from her brown eyes tugged at something deep inside me. “You have a good day, Sir,” she said and placed the open newspaper on my desk so that the article was facing me. Then she walked out of my office. I leaned forward on my desk and read the article briefly and all I could think was that I couldn’t save everyone but I could make sure Mathew Murphy had a roof over his head and food on his table. Susan had hired someone to research the Murphys and we’d found out that his mother dropped out of college because she got pregnant. Then had two

more kids with the same man. He was hooked on drugs and couldn’t keep a stable job. Anita Murphy hadn’t heard from her husband in over a year and things had gone downhill for her. She just needed a little help. I hoped she would use the money wisely. Maybe head back to school and get a better career for herself. I hoped she would make the right decisions for her and her kids. Sometimes that’s all we had was hope. *** The following evening my driver came to a halt in front of Evie’s apartment building. I usually went on dates in a suit. I almost always wore a suit in public, but tonight would be different. Evie wasn’t my usual type of hook up and something told me she wouldn’t appreciate one of the upscale restaurants I usually attended in Chicago. She was a teacher. She spent her days working with students, she seemed simple and down to earth, besides the fact that she had a spicy personality and told little white lies when she got nervous. I’m not put off though because I think I affect her or at least I hope I do because I don’t remember the last time a woman had such an effect on me. I’m still envisioning those hot as hell heels she wore yesterday morning which had me thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts. Problem is it’s not only her looks

that have me so wound up. I’m also intrigued by what will come out of her unfiltered mouth next. She isn’t afraid to say what’s on her mind and she doesn’t give a shit that I’m governor. I fucking love that she called me a schmuck because hell she was right. I slowly climbed a few steps to her front door and rang her doorbell. In a pair of blue jeans and a white polo shirt, I was as casual as I could get. She hadn’t given me her phone number, and I realized we never did set a time, so here I was out of nowhere ringing the doorbell of the feistiest redhead in the state of Illinois. My heart beat rapidly as I waited for her to answer. It took a little longer than I expected for her to open the door. The excitement of seeing her swarmed my chest, the feeling was odd, throwing me off balance. She finally answered, those blue eyes of hers round and a little shocked as her gaze raked over me. Her red hair was tied messily at the top of her head. She was wearing a pair of grey sweats and a white cut off shirt that revealed a very lean and trim midriff. Her silky white skin entirely on display caused my cock to twitch. Down buddy. Don’t think we’re going there tonight. My thought startled me because until this moment I had only used women for release. Evie was somehow different though and I didn’t know why. “What are you doing here?” she asked as if she

didn’t agree to a date with me yesterday morning. “Not the welcome I was expecting.” I paused. “We didn’t set a time.” I cleared my throat. “For our dinner. Remember?” I asked allowing myself to take a quick sweep of her apartment hoping to learn something else about her before she boots me out on my ass. Small, neat, modern. “You gonna invite me in?” I pressed, knowing I was making her uncomfortable but for some reason her being uncomfortable had me intrigued. She didn’t answer while she dug her teeth into her bottom lip. “If you’re tired from work we could order in,” I suggested, thinking it was the polite thing to do. I didn’t want to give her an out. Her silence continued along with her quiet stares. Then she spoke. “You want to come in… here? Like you want to eat here?” she repeated as if I had just spoken in a foreign language she didn’t understand and required confirmation. I wondered what type of accent she had. Still, I didn’t want to ask. First, I needed to gain entry. I smiled warmly. “I assure you that you’re safe with me,” I answered. I mean I’m the fucking governor, not a complete stranger. Shit! I was out of my element with this woman. In the past when I showed up at a lady’s door it meant my entry was ensured - until now. She turned around and looked over her apartment then back to me. “Give me a minute.”

She smacked the door in my face. Ouch. There’s a first time for everything. It had just been a while since I had any firsts.

Chapter Five Evie Damn it! He wants to come in here, to my apartment, my private sanctuary. I quickly glanced at the microwave it was only six thirty a little early for a dinner date. I had only realized after he left that we hadn’t set a time. I just figured it would be much later or he would be a no-show. No such luck. After he left, I also told myself that this date was a bad idea from the start. The main reason being that he could hear and I couldn’t. As much as I don’t like to look at my deafness as a disability, it still makes me different. I don’t always want to communicate through speech. American Sign Language or ASL is so much more natural for me. I love the fluidity of the communication, using my hands, my sight to take in the other person’s expressions watching how people react to their environment. There is something so peaceful and serene about being deaf and even though I have a faint memory of being able to hear, I don’t miss it. Not anymore, not since Grandpa Jack enrolled me in a school for the deaf when I was seven. I didn’t

only attend a school. I became a part of a community. It’s where I feel safe, and it’s where I don’t feel different because everyone is the same. That is why having a date with the governor is a bad idea. I quickly run around my apartment tidying clothing I’ve left on the couches, the floor, coffee table. Okay, so I’m not neat. Never claimed to be. After stuffing a pile of clothes into a closet, I begin to fix the pillows on my couch. Good thing he won’t be entering my bedroom because I have a few assignments I need to mark strewn all over my mattress. I begin to walk toward the kitchen where I know a pile of dishes awaits me in the sink when I see the light above the door flashing. Crap! He must think I forgot about him out there. I pull the elastic band out of my hair to allow the loose curls I made this morning fall down my shoulders. There’s no time to change clothes now. This is happening. And as much as I know that having this date is all wrong I can’t escape the excitement forming in my chest at the thought of spending time with him, watching his full lips while he speaks, his mannerisms when he’s speaking to me. It reminds me of the dance we shared a couple of nights ago. Being deaf makes me a good judge of character because I’m used to reading people in a way that’s beyond the use of words and this man seems sincere. I also can’t seem to forget the night

of the gala. The way he held me when we danced. The way he ran after me when I took off like he’s my real-life Prince Charming only I can’t get ahead of myself. Girls like me don’t need saving by a prince. I’m happy with my life. If everything about him weren’t so intoxicatingly sexy, I would be convinced by my own words. If only he were the stuck-up jerk I thought him to be, everything would be so easy. The light above the door flashes again indicating he rang the doorbell - again. How do I tell him I’m deaf? It’s beyond me that he didn’t notice it. He must be clueless, which isn’t surprising because as a governor he truly sucks, which is too bad because as a man he’s delectable. The light above the door flashes again. He’s persistent. I blow out a breath and answer the door. The minute my eyes lock with his, my lips spread into a smile. Even my damn body betrays me. “I thought you weren’t coming back,” he says, giving me a crooked grin. “No, just needed to tidy my apartment. Not used to having guests in here. Please…come in,” I wave him in. He looks around. “Nice place.” I keep my eyes trained on his mouth, so I don’t miss what he says, it’s stressing me out. “Thank you; I was lucky to find it. Everything is newly renovated,” I explain the modern dark wood

kitchen off to the left to the wide plank laminate flooring. It isn’t luxurious by any means, but it was a perfect size for me, clean, trendy and in a good neighborhood. I couldn’t ask for more. He nods his head, pulling his attention away from my apartment. His gaze pauses on me his bright blue eyes watch me and it feels like he can see right through me. “Are we still on for dinner? I can call and order take-out,” he offers. My eyes drop to his full lips then to his wide shoulders. He looks hot in a simple casual polo and blue jeans. I would have expected him in a suit for some reason. I can’t help but wonder why a guy like him, the governor, for goodness sake is here trying to get to know simple me. Simple deaf me I repeat in my head. I should just explain to him that I’m deaf and watch him walk away but I can’t. I’m too curious to know this man. “Dinner sounds good. I’m starved. Long day at school and I skipped lunch,” I explain not adding that I skipped lunch because I didn’t have time to make it this morning. I had to drive Grandpa Jack to the airport for his flight back to LA. He smiles widely, flashing me perfect white teeth, “Great. We better hurry then. We can’t have you starve. What are you in the mood for?” He pulls out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. “I’ve got Thai…” he says something, but I

don’t know what he said because he tilted his head down to look at his phone and I couldn’t read his lips. I dig my teeth into my bottom lip, thinking I’m totally screwed now, and I will have to give myself up early, but then I say, “Thai sounds good.” It was the first thing he said I’m pretty sure and I do enjoy Thai. He says something else I can’t see, but I know he’s talking because his lips were moving. Then I see him dialing. A moment later he looks up to me while speaking to the person on the other end of the line. Sweat breaks out on my forehead, and I tell myself I’m crazy if I think I can date a man like him. I need to come clean. My stomach sinks at the thought of him leaving. I turn to the kitchen to get a glass of water for both of us. My cell phone lights up on the kitchen counter, and I see Jake’s name on the screen. I place the cups of water on the counter and read the message: What are you up to tonight? Not much just need to get some grading done. I lie. I hate lying to Jake, but I can’t tell him who I have in my home. He’d get mad. He wouldn’t understand. K, Carter says he loves you. I love him to the moon and back. Have a good night and tell him I will see him tomorrow afternoon.

Sure thing. Jake would never understand me wanting to date a man that’s hearing. Most relationships we hear about between a deaf person and hearing don’t work out and there’s a long list of statistics to back it up. I met Jake sophomore year and he instantly became my best friend. We lived closed to each other in LA. I had lived in LA all my life but Jake and his mom had moved around a bit before settling down there. Since then he’s always been a constant in my life which I needed, depended on actually since Grandpa Jack was the only other person in my life that stuck around. I picture Jake’s face, his warm smile and I smile too thinking of him. With two glasses of water in hand, I walk back out to the main room which is my family room and office in one. I offer Colton a glass. He smiles as his eyes rake over my body sending jolts of heat from my head down to my… I take a sip of water to cool my thoughts. “Thank you,” he smiles and drinks. “Food should be here in twenty.” I point to my tan colored fabric couch and ask. “Would you like to have a seat?” He turns to take a seat. “We can eat on the coffee table here. It’s been a busy week, and my kitchen looks like it was hit by a hurricane,” I explain feeling uneasy, maybe a little nervous like the bones in my body have turned stiff and my breathing is forced. What is wrong

with me? I haven’t dated in a while. Okay, maybe a long while but I’m usually not so awkward. “Sure, this is perfect. I rarely get to eat at home, and I seem to always be on the go. It’s nice to have a quiet evening in,” he says and I feel like I should have offered him some sophisticated scotch to drink, not water. I just don’t have any hard liquor in my house beside a few Mike’s Hard Lemonade, but I guess that wouldn’t be his forte. “I can imagine with being the governor you lead a hectic life.” I smile. “I spend most nights at home either marking papers, watching TV, or curled with a book. Not very exciting.” He chortles. “It sounds perfect. I’d love the chance just to kick back a little. I went from being state attorney to the governor. There’s no rest when you’re in public office.” I remember the reason for this dinner date. He wanted to discuss the Habitat project. Now I feel awkward bringing it up but there is never a good time is there? And this whole situation seems uncomfortable to me anyway. “Speaking of your job. I have the proposal here for the Habitat project.” I stand and walk over to my desk to pick up the yellow folder with the proposal inside. I hand it over to him and he cocks a brow at me like he’s waiting for something. That’s when I realize he must have asked me something when my back was turned. Shitballs. Not a good

move, I should’ve walked backward or something. Even though it would probably look strange. Gah! Things are going awful. This isn’t going to work. “You don’t want to answer my question I presume,” he says and if I could picture what his voice sounded like I would think it would be deep, throaty, and proper. I have to pull my eyes away from his lips, not only because they are so kissable it hurts, but because he’ll think I’m a freak with how I’m fixating on them, so I don’t miss a beat of words flowing from them. “Sorry, I must have spaced out.” I press my lips together. “What did you say?” Yes, nice save. I think. I scream inside my head then take a long breath through my nose. I’m completely out of sorts. “I asked how you got involved with Habitat for Humanity?” he repeats. “It was a while back, in high school. My friend Jake and I signed up to build some homes during the summer in LA. It was so fulfilling that whenever we had breaks from school, we would offer to help. We still do. It feels good to help others. To watch them as they see their home for the first time. There’s no better feeling,” I pause realizing I allowed my passion for the subject to takeover but when I glance at Colton, he stares back at me almost mesmerized. “That sounds fulfilling,” he responds.

Something about his response rubs me the wrong way, and I feel a little bit of my snarkiness spit out of me. “Why do you look so interested? We came to you for help with a zoning issue, and your office turned us away. If you think your sudden interest now is a way of getting into my pants then you are sorely mistaken, Mr. Governor.” I shoot up to my feet. My blood pressure reaching a boil as I give him an incredulous look. Sheesh, what’s wrong with me? One minute I’m hot, then I’m cold. This man is too much for me and he’s going to think I’m a nut job. “Hey, hey relax. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I said to make you angry. I truly admire your conviction and your need to help. I don’t know why you were turned away at my office or even who turned you away, but I never got a message about any Habitat projects. I was honest when I said I wanted to meet you for dinner to discuss the project. I’d like to help any way I can,” he says, and I feel slightly embarrassed about accusing him of trying to get in my pants. I know I’m a pretty woman, but I am not what he would want and as confident as I may seem, this whole situation is playing on my insecurities. “You like to help, huh?” I ask and I know he senses some uncertainty in my tone but I can’t hide how I feel. I’ve never been one to shy away from something I’m passionate about. “Were you trying

to help when you went to support the destruction of Henderson Place? You are supposed to be our governor, and you are supposed to love our state, our city, and yet you want to rip down a landmark.” I say as my cheeks warm. Geez. I’m hot and cold, mad, and horny. What is going on with me? He stands up from the couch and takes a few slow steps away from me and turns around. His hands are lifted in the air by his side like he’s about to approach a wild animal and doesn’t know what to expect. In his defense, I’ve already attacked. This man clearly causes a rise out of me. “Relax, I didn’t mean to offend you in any way, but if someone should be offended it should be me? You’re the one who threw a cream pie in my face, then called me a schmuck,” he says cocking both brows, and my jaw drops. If my cheeks were pink before they are now crimson. What if he’s really here because he wants to have me arrested? I open my jaw to speak then close my mouth. What do I say? How do I talk myself out of this one? Before I can process what’s happening tears begin to sting my eyes as I stand frozen in my spot. “Hey, hey, please don’t cry,” His lips move he has a tender look on his face that tells me he isn’t mad as he closes the space between us. He wraps his arms around me and embraces me. I feel air against my ear like he must be saying something. I pull my head back so that I can see his face, read

his lips. “You aren’t angry with me?” My voice oozes astonishment. He begins to laugh so hard his shoulders move up and down. “No.” He shakes his head. “I felt like a prick being at that ribbon-cutting ceremony. I don’t always agree with everything that happens, but as governor I’m sometimes put in a position I don’t like, if you know what I mean? I hate that Henderson Place will be torn down and replaced with a high rise. It fucking sucks, but the deed is done. Unfortunately, Bachmaker is a supporter of mine,” he explains, and I read between the lines. “Trust me, I felt like a schmuck being there. I’ve never had a cream pie thrown in my face. I was hoping to meet you so I could get the recipe it was damn good.” He’s clearly making a joke. I smack him in the chest as laughter bubbles out of me. “You’re something else,” I say. “You’re quite interesting yourself. You’re the first woman to whip a pie at me and call me a schmuck, and here I am interested to get to know you better.” “Is that what this is?” I ask skeptically, realizing I’m still in his arms. His face is so close to mine. Those perfectly kissable lips so close yet so far away. “This is me wanting to get to know you. Wanting to know what makes you tick,” he gives

me a meaningful look. “I…I” I’m at a loss for words. “Don’t say anything just let me kiss you,” he replies, and my heart leaps in my chest. I nod. Wanting to feel his lips on mine. “Yes,” I breathe out like a prayer. He leans forward his lips inching closer and closer to mine, and I’m giddy, wanting, and turned on. His eyes are closed and so I shut mine too just as our lips connect. It feels electric as our lips melded together. It feels right as his lips brush mine, there is no tongue just gentle exploring, which eases my nerves. His lips linger on mine and heat builds in my chest moving down, down, down, until all my lady parts are fired up and needy. It’s me who wraps my arms around his neck deepening the kiss. Our lips part, he tastes heavenly, addictive. Our tongues entwine dancing together seductively causing my nipples to harden. I want more, I need more and it’s not just because I haven’t had sex in what seems like forever. It’s because of the attraction I feel for the man I’m kissing. The kiss is so right, so good, that it’s just hmmm. The soft moan escapes my lips. It feels like we have no plans to end this interlude anytime soon and I’m good with that because I don’t want to think of how I will feel when whatever this is ends and I am left with memories and a broken heart. The red light above my door begins to flash as it reflects off the window. The interruption bringing

me back to reality. I jolt from the fact that he will ask me why I have a crazy red light flashing all over my apartment. He takes a step back. His lips swollen and I’m sure mine looks just the same. I offer a shy smile and he returns the gesture, surprising me because he seems so suave, so experienced. Yet something in his mannerism tells me he feels just as off-kilter as I do. We stare at each other for another brief moment, the red light flashing like an ambulance or police car warning. “Um,” I’m speechless. He points to the door even though I register the confusion on his face. “I should get that,” he says. I nod. He stalks off to the door. Did I just kiss the Governor of Illinois? I touch my lips. Yes, yes, I did. Colton pays the delivery man and grabs the bags of food. He closes the door and walks back to the central area of the apartment. “Here let me help,” I say relieving him of the bags. I set them down on my large square coffee table. Colton takes a seat on the couch in front of the food. “Did you order everything off the menu?” I ask, emptying container after container out of the bag. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” he says his lips curved at the corner. “I’m easy with food,” I say. I quickly remember to look at him. Not turn my back because if he says something in return, I’ll miss it.

“I’m P-I-C-K-Y,” he says. “I’m not surprised,” I smirk feeling high on him. It’s a bad idea. I’m getting in way over my head. I need to tell him the truth before I dig myself deeper. He continues to open the different trays of food and I continue to stare at his face. He must feel something because he pauses and turns to me. “The lights,” he says, but it’s a question. He points to the front and back of my apartment. His dark brows dipped together. My heart sinks. I feel trapped. I’ve always been proud of who I am. I’ve always held my head up high about being deaf. Not this time. This time I wish I had a fairy godmother who could make me hear. Make me be the perfect woman for this man. My chin tilts down and he takes it in his hand tilting my chin back up so we will be eye level. “Hey,” he says, and again I crave to hear his voice as I’ve never desired anything. “I need to tell you something.” “I know.” I’m not sure what he means. Does he know I need to tell him something or does he know I’m deaf? I proceed with option one. “I’m deaf,” I say in one quick swoosh. His head tilts to the side and a deep crevice forms between his brows. “What do you mean? We’ve been speaking this whole time.” “I read lips,” I confess.

I wait with baited breath and watch the way he processes my words. I brace myself for him taking off now. We won’t even get to the point of sharing a meal together. I hate myself for feeling so weak at this moment for allowing the fact that I’m incomplete to somehow make me feel less than I should. Having gone to a deaf school, I was fortunate to take classes that taught me to be proud of who I am. We learned about deaf people who made world-renowned accomplishments in industries that matter. I know better than to feel inadequate, yet the feeling of inadequacy is now running through my veins and creeping to every crevice of my body like the bloody plague. I feel helpless to stop it. Deep down I know I think this way, not because I’m deaf, but because my mother walked away from me when I was far too young because me being deaf was just too hard on her. I can’t look at him anymore, so I pull my gaze to the rug on my floor. I should tell him to leave now, but I feel frozen. I watch his feet move as he takes a step toward me, his warm breath brushing across my face, then I feel his thumb at my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes. When I stare back at him, I see an unexpected tenderness. “I feel stupid,” he says. “I mean you must think I’m the world’s biggest idiot,” he continues, and I’m a little perplexed. “I’m sorry for not noticing. I’m sorry that I don’t know sign language to

communicate better with you.” My brows dip together as a pained expression takes over my face. What’s happening here? Why is he apologetic? I’m confused. “You’re apologizing to me?” I ask almost flabbergasted. “I should have been upfront with you,” I say. His head tilts slightly to the side, his cerulean eyes are filled with warmth and confusion, “You don’t owe me any explanations. You can’t hear me, but you can read my lips. I know this may be a little challenging, but I want to get to know you. Maybe you can help me learn to sign,” he continues with a crooked grin that just about makes my panties combust. Where did this guy come from? He’s nothing that I expected and as much as he makes my heart flutter he’s scaring the shit out of me because I’m a planner and I didn’t plan for him. I laugh. I don’t know how I sound. Maybe I seem scary because I feel borderline crazy. “You realize what you’re asking for? It’s very challenging for a deaf person to be friends with a hearing person…” He cuts me off. “Who said I want to be friends?” His blue eyes smolder as he looks at me. I’m sure my cheeks flush pink because I feel warm all over. “This is complicated.” I wave between us. “What makes you think I can’t do complicated?” he rebuts.

I bite my lower lip and look up at the ceiling then back at him. “I guess your reputation would suggest you don’t do complicated. I may be deaf, but I do browse the gossip columns, and your face is a recurring theme along with all the beautiful women in this city. I mean honestly, you can have any woman you want, why me?” I ask because as much as my insecurities are threatening to take over, I’m still me and I say what I think, always. He lifts his hand and brushes my cheek. “Because I’ve never met anyone like you before; because you’re beautiful, witty, you say what’s on your mind, and you’re apparently a little liar.” His lip quirks up on one side in challenge. My brows dip together and I’m not sure I read his lips correctly. “Did you just call me a liar?” I feel stunned but I’m unsure how my tone comes across. I usually don’t speak this much and haven’t done speech lessons in quite some time. The only reason I can talk so clearly is because I became deaf when I was seven. My speech had been fully developed by then. “I did,” he confirms. “Why?” My brows dip together. “Because you lied to me at the Veterans gala, you said you worked in a clothing store, and you are truly a teacher.” He cocks a brow. I clap a hand over my mouth. “I thought you were a jerk. I didn’t think I would see you again.

Not after I called you a schmuck and took off. I’m usually not a liar. I’m just used to spending most of my time around deaf people or at least people that sign. Being around you throws me off,” I admit. He swipes a hand across his mouth. “The feeling is mutual. You throw me off too.” He pulls his gaze away from me to look at the food on the coffee table. He points to the table but turns his head, so he’s looking directly at me. “Can we eat our dinner now? I bet it’s getting cold.” I nod and a wide smile bursts from my lips. I shouldn’t be this giddy. I’m in so much trouble with this guy. “Sure. I’m starved.” We sit and eat. I want to say that my nerves are still frayed, but they aren’t. I’m not sure if he’s said anything this whole time because I’ve focused on the delicious food on my plate. When I pick my eyes up from my plate and look at Colton, he looks content enjoying his food too. My world is a quiet one; I eat in silence unless I stop eating and use my hands to communicate. I don’t know how this handsome powerful man will fit into my life, but I know now that I want to find out. When we are done eating, I look over to him. “That was delicious. Thank you.” “Thank you, I liked eating with you. I liked that you actually eat.” He smiles and his shoulders move up and down, so I presume he’s laughing. I give him a confused look.

“My dates usually pick at their food or won’t eat anything with a carb in it,” he chortles. “This may seem weird, but I liked eating beside you. I like just spending time with you.” He smiles, and the way he looks at me warms my chest. “Do I have permission to kiss you again? Because I liked that too.” He smirks. I nod my head and he moves in closer to me, his scent is so manly and fresh, the heat in his eyes causes my mouth to water as our lips collide once more. A kiss has never felt like this before, so electric, even his taste has my insides burning. I want to push him away and gain some perspective, but I don’t because his touch ignites me. The fact that he accepts me for who I am does incredible things to my insides. He said he wanted to learn to sign. Those words make my heart flip. My own mother wasn’t willing to learn to sign. I begin to think that my reservations about dating a hearing person were maybe blown out of proportion. I know the statistics but not everyone is this man, Colton Mathis. He’s something special. I can feel it in my gut.

Chapter Six Colton “You better have a good excuse for running off on Bachmaker’s niece. Your father has been flipping his shit these last few days. I told him to stay away, and take a breather.” Al shakes his head. “He won’t stay away forever. Not with the engagements he has planned. Do you have a game plan where he’s concerned?” Al asks, and I know it’s because he has my back. He also knows how to handle men like my father. “Don’t worry. I got this,” I wink. “Yeah, you act all cocky now, but I bet the old guy called Susan this morning to find out your itinerary today. I expect him to walk through that door any minute.” Al gives me an expectant look and takes a seat in the comfortable brown leather chair in front of my desk. I bet my father did call Susan to find out where I’d be today. I wouldn’t expect anything less. In the past, the thought may have caused some anxiety because even though I’m a grown man my father has a specific effect on me, one that I hate to admit doesn’t always leave me

with the best feeling. The only difference is that today I don’t give a shit. I’m flying high on cloud Evie, and there’s no way in hell my father can influence my mood or the fact that I absolutely will not date Bachmaker’s niece because hell I think I found the woman of my dreams. “What the hell is wrong with you, man?” Al snaps, his tone harsh and worried. I snap out of my daze and focus on him. A bubble of laughter escapes my chest. “Are you fucking high?” He continues looking at me with this completely baffled look probably wondering why I’m relaxed leaning back in my office chair, behind my desk, like I don’t have a care in the world. My lip quirks on one side. “No, I’m not high.” My voice is chiding. His eyes widen “Well, what the fuck is wrong with you? I sent you like five text messages to meet me for drinks last night. I was at the Continental with this fucking gorgeous woman, and she had a friend. I thought you’d meet us for drinks, but you were apparently MIA, and now you have this fucking…” he waves his hand in front of my face. “I don’t even know what to call the stupid look you have on your face.” “I’m sure you handled the ladies just fine without me.” I look at my computer screen and scroll over my agenda for the day.

“Of course, I did.” He shrugs me off. “Whoever said three’s a crowd clearly didn’t have game.” He snickers lifting one leg up and across his knee. “Well?” He waits expectantly. “Well, what?” I answer. I know he wants to know where I disappeared to last night but I want to keep the details to myself a little longer, cherish them, relish the idea of kissing Evie and hope that it happens again, soon. “Don’t,” he warns. “Just spit it out. Where the hell were you? Did you go back to screwing that witch again?” he asks, referring to my long-time fling Cassandra. It’s never been serious at least for me it hasn’t. We just have terrific chemistry and a love for dirty sex. She’s available when I want, and so in that sense, we match perfectly. From time to time she’s brought up the relationship talk, but I’ve been upfront from the start. I’m not that guy. I don’t want a family, and I don’t want to settle down. I don’t want to be burned like my father, because hell my mother turned his whole world upside down, and he lives with a million regrets. No way I will allow that to happen to me. Nope. “I wasn’t with Cassandra. Chill the fuck out,” I scoff. The thought of being with Cassandra now after spending the evening with Evie completely turns me off. “Then who?” he asks. I know Al. He won’t let up.

I let out an exasperated breath. “I met up with the woman from the Veterans gala,” I begin. “That vixen with the red hair?” he continues. “Fuck yes.” He grins mischievously, and that devious glint he gets in his eyes appears when he scores with a woman in bed. It irks me that he’s thinking that way about Evie. I don’t like it. It doesn’t make sense because Al and I are used to shooting the shit about the women we date, but…last night with Evie was special…just as I’m about to deflect his questioning the door to my office is flung open. There is only one person who would have the nerve to burst into the governor’s office uninvited…my father. “Jesus Christ, Colton, I ask you for a simple favor. No scratch that. I ask you to do something that will further your career…” He huffs, and his tanned skin is tinged red. His dress shirt which is buttoned to the top looks like it’s stretching across his thick neck where an angry vein pulsates. “I didn’t ask you to bed the girl Colt, it would have been a simple date, and in return, Edmund would have donated a good three million to your campaign.” My father lets out a loud, angry growl. “Father…I…” I can’t even put in two words as me, and Al share a knowing look. I have to give Al credit for putting up with my father. “Don’t ‘father’ me…I’ve never seen something so rude in my life. Did I raise you with no

manners?” he scoffs. I’m surprised it took him three days to come here and tell me off. Truth is I was expecting him the next morning only he was MIA which means he had to deal with other Mathis family business. I don’t answer him, so he continues. “To walk away from the poor girl like that and then chase after that other girl like a dog in heat.” He blows out a breath. “You’re supposed to be the next president of this country. What does it say about you that you have the attention span of a chimpanzee in heat?” I wait for him to finish his rant knowing he won’t let me get a word in any way. I want to laugh at his comment. A chimpanzee in heat? What the fuck? Even though I do feel hot and heavy for Evie. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. I probably just need to bed her and move on. That must be it. As thoughts run through my mind, I somehow manage to block my ranting father. Until he slaps a picture on my desk and my eyes widen when I see Evie’s round blue eyes staring up at me. I bolt out of my chair landing on my feet before I can even say a word. “What the hell? How did you get her picture?” I look to my father wishing daggers would shoot from my eyes. He leans forward over my desk, still seething, his face flushed with anger. “What did you think? That you would blow a multimillion-dollar contribution for some piece of ass and I wouldn’t

look into it?” he snaps. I lean forward over my desk getting in his face. “How dare you? My private life is mine.” My father’s lip curls on one side. “A high school teacher is one thing Colton, but she’s deaf. How can a deaf woman function as the first lady?” I don’t know what happens next because I’ve never wanted to physically strike my father but my hands ball into fists by my side, and before I understand it, Al is by my side holding me back because I want to hit my father with all my strength. My anger beats inside me like a time bomb ready to detonate. “Colton, take a deep breath and back down,” Al urges, pushing me back and away from my father. He turns his head and quickly says, “Mr. Mathis I think you should leave. I’ve got this, and I will call you later.” My father stands stubborn and still. He contemplates for a moment. Then says, “Fine. Get our boy to see reason.” Then he storms out of the office. Only the hurricane brewing inside me hasn’t subsided. It’s still fierce and blowing as I wonder what the hell has come over me. My father has said ridiculous things like that before. He has a distorted view of the world, but I try to accept his faults while still trying to respect the man that raised me. Now I feel so far away from any understanding at all, I feel like the earth’s axis has tilted, and I can’t

find my bearings. With my father out of the office, Al releases his grip on me. “You good?” He gives me a worried look. I sit back in my chair, undo the top button of my dress shirt, and loosen my tie. “Tell me what the hell is going on Colton?” Al insists. And so, I relent and tell my best friend about my evening with Evie. Everything from what she was wearing, to what we talked about, and how we kissed. As I ramble on and on, Al sits back in his chair with a wide smug grin on his face and says. “Oh, even the mighty one’s fall.” Truth is I can’t argue with him because I don’t know what’s happening, but I feel like I’m falling.

Chapter Seven Evie I’m busy finishing my grading during my lunch period when I feel a presence hovering above my desk. I look up to see Jake’s warm brown eyes staring down at me, and he looks confused. “Didn’t you say you were going to stay in and grade last night?” he signs to me. Shit! My stomach sinks. I hate lying to him. He deserves better than that from me. My face scrunches up, and I give him a puppy dog look that is laced with guilt. “I had an unexpected visitor last night. I didn’t get through as much of my grading as I wanted to,” I sign back. He waits expectantly for me to tell him who the said visitor was. I blow out a breath knowing he will be very opinionated about me dating a hearing person although I wouldn’t say that the governor and I are dating. I don’t even know what we are. He took my phone number when he left last night. Sent me a text close to one in the morning saying he enjoyed his evening and that was it. I should know better than to be excited about this but the attraction I feel for him is like an

itch that won’t go away even when it is repeatedly scratched. “So!” Jake motions to me. “It was the governor, okay? He came to my place last night, and we ended up having dinner.” I sign, and even though I don’t mean for the irritation I’m feeling to come through when I communicate, I know it does and Jake does to. “The governor?” he signs, and his eyes widen. It’s not every day that someone like me gets a visit from the governor. Even though Jake and I are best friends, we share a complicated past. Despite everything though we’ve remained friends and share in each other’s personal lives. He’s met a couple of the men I’ve dated. It’s only been a couple because I don’t date very much. “Why would the governor come to your house? How does he know where you live? Are you in trouble? Because if you are, I’ll say that the pie throwing was my fault.” His hands move at a rapid pace as he shoots off question after question. I shake my head. “It’s not like that…well he knows it was me who threw the pie, but he isn’t angry. He wants to get to know me,” I motion and I feel the flush crawl up my cheeks. I can’t stop it even though I wish I could. Jake catches on too. I swear I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I never turn into a hot mess like this because of a man. “Get to know you, as in date you?” Jake waves

his hands in the air; his gestures are fast and cut, showing the anger he feels. The warmth in his brown eyes has faded to something cold. “Jake, I knew you would think it was a bad idea. He wasn’t the one who sent you away for the Habitat project. No one even informed him that you came to his office and I showed him the proposal, and he wants to help,” I explain. “He wants to help. Huh? I’m sure,” he says, and I sense the sarcasm oozing from him. “What is that supposed to mean?” I snap back. I don’t like what Jake was insinuating. “If this is because he’s hearing I don’t care. He’s a good man, and he wants to get to know me. He wants to learn to sign,” I argue, wondering why I was even arguing with Jake. It felt wrong. “I want to try and see where this leads. I like him,” I motion more softly. “I can see that,” he snaps his hands back at me. “What about Carter? Have you thought about how having a relationship with the governor would affect him?” he asks, and I hate that he’s brought our son into this. As I said, we have a complicated past. “Carter will be fine with whatever decision I make. It’s not like I’m marrying the guy. We only just met and I feel like you’re jumping your guns a little quick here. Besides, it would be nice for Carter to have someone around that’s hearing too.”

The motions escape my hands before I can lock them down. Shit. Now I’ve insulted him. That was never my intention. My ten-year-old hearing son is being raised by two deaf parents. Jake is a fantastic father he truly is but…I always have the thought that my boy is missing out because he moves back and forth between two deaf parents. I don’t even know where that comment came from just now, other than it’s passed through my thoughts when I’ve felt lost. Carter is also the reason I can speak so well because I’ve spent hours in therapy learning to read lips and talk for the sake of my son even though he signs quite well. Jake doesn’t like to use his voice, so he and Carter mostly sign. The hurt on Jake’s face seeps through his chocolate eyes, the same eyes that usually look at me adoringly. Now he stares at me as if he doesn’t know me. Truth is I feel like I don’t know myself. I don’t fall this hard for a man and sure not this fast. I hate what’s happening, but I feel powerless to control it. “Jake, I’m sorry.” I stand from my desk and come around to hug him. He accepts my embrace which is a relief. I would hate for my best friend to be mad at me. I wish he could understand me. I pull away. “I didn’t mean to insult you. I just meant…” I pause. He waves his hands signing to me. “I know what you meant. Don’t you think I want Carter to have a normal life? I do. I love him just like you.”

A tear slips out of my left eye. “I know you love him. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know you think dating a hearing person will lead to disaster but I want to try…” I sign, and I can’t help the dreamy look on my face although for Jake’s sake I wish I could. “I like him, Jake. I want to see where this can lead and I’m not naïve. Maybe nothing will come of Colton and me, but I won’t know if I don’t at least try.” “Colton,” Jake moves his hands motioning that name. His brows furrow together. “Just watch yourself, Evie, I’ve heard the governor is a real lady’s man, I don’t want to see you get hurt.” I nod my head and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. Then I pull away to sign, “And that’s why I love you. That’s why you’re my best friend.” Jake’s lip turns down on one corner like he’s displeased. I know he’ll come around though. He’s just protective of me, and I appreciate him so much. “I have to go set up the gym for volleyball next period,” he motions. “You’re picking Carter up from school today, right?” “Yes,” I respond. He nods and waves and then Jake is gone. I return to my desk only I can’t seem to refocus on my marking. My mind is filled with a mix of whatifs and fluttery oh-so-happy butterflies. I know the Governor is a real ladies man. Jake isn’t wrong

about that but wouldn’t it be dreamy if I was the one to tame him? Better to not get ahead of myself. Colton Mathis isn’t a man to be tamed.

Chapter Eight Colton It’s been a few days since I saw Evie. I sent her a few text messages, but I figured some space was good to see where my head was at. I’ve never felt this way before after spending such little time with a woman or after a few kisses. Scratch that, I’m in no man’s land, unfamiliar territory. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to see her again. I needed to get my head on straight. Only I can’t do that because I can’t stop thinking of her; the way she smiles, the conversations we have, or her scent. Everything about her gets me fired up. I realize I don’t even know her last name. She’s just so different and refreshing from the women I see. I’m still seething with my father though. I can’t believe he dared to get one of his investigator friends to check her out. Beneath the picture of Evie, he left on my desk was a file on her filled with details about her life. The door to my office is open, and a light knock disturbs my thoughts. Susan stands there waiting. “May I come in, Sir?”

I nod and wave her in. She looks down at the file on my desk, and she takes a breath. “Sir, may I speak candidly?” she asks, and this time she takes a seat without asking permission first. It tells me she is here for a personal reason. “Yes,” I smile and look down at the picture of Evie. I can’t help the natural response. When I look back up at Susan, she gazes at the image in a loving way. “She’s beautiful…” she pauses. “I couldn’t help but overhear your father yesterday…” she pauses again. I can see that she feels like she’s treading in deep waters with possibly dangerous fish in the sea. “Please, Susan. This is between you and me,” I urge her hoping to ease her nerves. I can tell she’s here out of concern. She may be the only voice of reason in my life. She nods her head repeatedly. “If you were my son, I would tell you that you shouldn’t be afraid to fall in love. If you were my son, I would tell you not to listen to your father just this once…” she takes a breath. “I’ve known you a long while now, and I’ve never seen you look so carefree and happy as you do now. Embrace it. Enjoy it. See where it will lead you and for goodness sake, Sir, do not open that folder.” She tilts her chin down to the folder with Evie’s picture on it. I realize that the palm of my hand lays flat on top of the folder. I pull

it away like the folder’s on fire. “That’s all, Sir.” She gives me one of her motherly smiles and blinks once before leaving. I can’t say that I wasn’t tempted to open the folder. My curiosity was skyrocketing. I stopped myself for the sole reason that the information the file contained were things I’d want to learn on my own. Susan is right. I can’t give my father any satisfaction, not after he spoke about Evie being deaf like it was treason. I mean I knew he wasn’t the most accepting man in the world, but he thoroughly disgusted me the way he responded to her deafness, almost like comparing her to an enemy of the state. I swear I think the old guy is finally losing it. I slip the file into a drawer in my desk, making a mental note to have it shredded the first chance I get. A light knock pulls my thoughts from Susan’s words of wisdom. Don’t be afraid to fall in love. Easier said than done. Al stands at my door observing me. “What are you up to?” he asks. “My sister is flying in tonight. I have to entertain her… if you want to join us for drinks at the Continental?” Isabella is his only other family member who still talks to him besides his mother. She’s young and gorgeous. She attempted to seduce me a few times even though she’s ten years younger than me but I couldn’t, no wouldn’t do that to Al.

“I love Issy. You know I do, but I have a redhead on my mind,” I wink. “You’re going that route, huh?” He chortles. “Trying to give your father a coronary as opposed to manning up and just telling him you don’t want to run.” He guffaws. He has the situation all wrong. I’m genuinely intrigued by Evie. I just want to see where the wind blows us. Besides, I’m old enough to make my own decisions about who I date. “It’s not like that. I don’t fucking know what I want regarding my life, that’s true. What I do know is that I felt something for her that I never felt before.” I lean forward and look to Al with sincerity. We’ve had serious talks before. Al grew up with parents that were married but didn’t love each other. Things were done for appearance’s sake. I grew up with an abandoned father. There have been many a time that we dissected our past. Especially when our good friends from college began to get married in their late twenties, and Al and I weren’t even close to the thought of settling down. “Ah, and that is how great men fall,” Al replies sarcastically. It isn’t the first time in the last couple of days that he’s said that. The first time I thought to myself. Nah. Now I think that maybe even a serial bachelor like me can settle down if the right woman was involved. “Don’t be a dick,” I snap.

“Sorry, but it’s true,” he scoffs. “Don’t you think? I mean powerful man meets that special woman and gets swept off his feet. It’s the modern fairytale.” He shrugs his shoulders, yet the sarcasm drips from his tone. I give him a ‘be serious’ look, and his face turns somber. “Colt let’s be honest here. You have trust issues. Are you willing to take the plunge with this one and give it your all? Because honestly, and you know I dislike Cassy, but I don’t know how she puts up with your commitment-phobe issues. I don’t know if this chick will be so understanding,” he says and as much as I hate to hear every word that has fallen from his mouth I know they’re coming from a place of concern. “I never strung Cassandra along.” I give him a knowing look because he knows that I’ve had one of Cassandra’s friends in my bed at the same time I was with her. His lip quirks at the side showing me that his argument has leaks in it. “I’ve always been upfront with Cassy. What can I do if she chooses to stay despite my inadequacies…” my voice trails off as I think of Evie. She’d call me on everything. She wouldn’t shovel my shit, she would throw it back in my face, and for some reason, I want to step out of my safety zone and see what it’s like to really be with a woman, with her. Put my heart on the line and take that plunge Al seems to think I’m scared to take.

“Earth to Colton.” Al’s voice rings in my ears. “Sorry, man. Just considering your words…” “And?” “And I need to see where this’ll lead. I need this for some reason. I feel like my whole life I’m trying to please my old man but it’s time I focus on me and what I want for a change. I look at you, and one of the things I admire most about you is that you live your life by your terms. You don’t let your parents dictate and you sure as hell don’t let women dictate to you either, but here’s the thing… I look at my dad, and he’s the ultimate ladies man,” I say with a knowing look because my father doesn’t hide his sexcapades and Al is very aware of his affinity for the younger ladies. “I mean even at his age, he has twentysomethings hanging off his arm but what does he truly have when his bed empties at night? Not one of those women gives a shit about him.” “Man, you’ve gone real deep now,” Al snickers with a mocking tone. “Colt, I don’t know what kind of voodoo this Evie practiced on you, but if you think she’s worth it then get on the love boat baby and see where the tide takes you. I sure as hell am not ready to settle down. I’m content, but you aren’t, my friend. You need to do what’s good for you, and if dating her is what you want then I say your father be damned.” Al hits the top of my desk for extra dramatic effect. Then stands from his

chair. “Looks like I’m entertaining Issy for the night on my own.” He sighs as if it’s torture to spend time with his younger sister even though he adores her. I laugh then wave him off. “Get out of here.” He nods. “Have yourself a good night.” He winks, probably knowing who I’ll contact the minute he walks through the scaffold of my office. “You too, man,” I say to his back. The second my office is quiet I pick up my cell and text Evie. I know it’s going to be a challenge dating this woman and not only because we will have a hard time communicating but because she’s a real spitfire and yet I can’t wait to see what happens next. You free tonight? How about we do Mexican take-out? I know it’s presumptuous of me to insinuate she’s free by suggesting the food we eat, but I feel like she’s on the fence about me so I need to push as hard as I can. I only hope that my efforts work.

Chapter Nine Evie Shit, darn, shit! My phone buzzes, and it’s a text message from him…the governor. I told him I was deaf, but I forgot, okay maybe I didn’t forget, I just neglected to mention that I’m also a single mother. I just figured one bomb set off was enough for a first date if that’s what the other night was. I don’t know. He’s texted me these last few days, but he never mentioned meeting up, so I assumed either I was friend-zoned or that he’s good at sending mixed signals. Now he wants to meet for dinner again, and excitement floats through me. Only one problem with this picture. If my deafness didn’t push him out the door then knowing I have a kid will. Gah! I reply back. Sorry, busy tonight. I hate typing those words, but I don’t have a choice. Carter, my ten-year-old son, is with me five nights a week and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Knowing the governor’s affinity for sexual encounters, I think a kid doesn’t fit into his equation. The little dots roll on my screen, and my

chest expands with anticipation. Carter taps my shoulder and asks me to tell Daddy he loves him, only I’m not texting his daddy, I’m texting the freaking Governor of Illinois. “It’s not Daddy, just a friend,” I tell my son. Don’t brush me off, Evie. I thought we had a good time the other night. I’m only suggesting dinner. Say yes to dinner. If you don’t like Mexican, we can order something else. Oh boy! I once again feel like I’m in over my head. I try to think of how to respond. Okay but I have someone here with me, and he loves burritos. Can you please get him two and I’ll take chicken fajitas with vegetables, no cheese. I type back, and press send before I can overthink. When I reread my message my stomach sinks. I don’t know how my message will be received. Who will he think the ‘someone here’ is? What happens if he thinks it’s a girlfriend of mine? Oh jeez. I begin to sweat as I think that maybe he thought I just invited him over for some Mexican food and a threesome? I mean, I’ve seen the gossip columns. Just the search I did last night had numerous pictures of him with different women draped on his arm. He seems to be a serial dater, but it’s all speculation. Once again, I convince myself that he’s all wrong for me and yet I can’t stay away. Not when he’s pleading for me to say

yes, which in itself is a crazy thought. “Mommy, will you play Xbox with me?” Carter signs to me. My son pulls me out of my frantic state. “Uh sure.” Before I put my phone down, I notice another text from Colton. Perfect! Be there as soon as I can. His words alone cause panic to bubble up inside me. For the next half hour, my son keeps me busy playing FIFA soccer. Of course, he kicks my butt every time because I have slow reflexes and my mind is trained on Colton making his way over here and what he will think when he meets Carter. The red light at the front door flashes and I flinch as my heart skips a beat. Carter asks me using sign language if we are expecting company. I answer that I have a friend at the door and he nods and smiles to me. I hope it isn’t a mistake to bring Colton around Carter since I just met the man. A part of me wants Colton to understand my life before I actually get to know him. Carter is my entire life so Colton will need to understand that if he wants to date me. I’ve had men in my past that were simply not interested in taking things further once they realized I had a child. I’ve convinced myself that this is me being honest and upfront, but maybe a part of me is scared of my reaction to the governor, and this is me ensuring he won’t want to come back after tonight. Carter is an amazing kid

but not everyone likes kids, and not everyone is built to raise them. My own childhood taught me that. “Are you going to get that?” Carter reminds me we have a guest at the door. He usually uses a mix of words and sign. Especially when he sees I’ve missed something he’s said. I nod and dash toward the door leaving him playing Xbox. The door swings open and I’m met with clear blue eyes and a panty-dropping smile. He looks casual again tonight in a Cubs T-shirt and a worn-in pair of blue jeans. He sure as hell doesn’t look like the sophisticated Governor of Illinois. “Hi,” I say, grinning like a schoolgirl with a massive crush. It irks me that I can’t hide my feelings around him better. “Hi yourself,” he waves. He’s holding a bag of food and has a silly grin on his face as he points to the inside of my apartment. “May I come in?” he asks. I startle slightly when I realize how dazed I am around him. “Yes, of course, where are my manners?” He walks in and slips his running shoes off at the door. He carries the large paper bag he’s holding deep into my home. He stops in my family room and notices Carter then he looks back to me a curious look in his eye. “Nephew?” he asks. I shake my head. “I’m an only child.”

“I see.” His silence indicates he is waiting for an explanation. Carter notices he’s being watched and places the XBox remote down on the floor. He runs over to Colton with a wide smile. “You must be Mommy’s friend. I’m Carter.” My ten-year-old son is amiable and vocal; I think from having two deaf parents. Carter smiles looking up at Colton who towers over him. I watch Colton process the fact that Carter just called me mommy. Is he getting ready to run? My breath feels lodged in the back of my throat as I wait for Colton to show me what he’s thinking. “You’re a Cubs fan, huh?” my son continues, and I can only imagine that my son said that comment in a disdainful way since him and his daddy like watching the White Sox play. “I am,” Colton confirms only his face reveals nothing. “But I also like to root for the White Sox too,” he answers. I sense uneasiness in his mannerisms. “You like both teams?” my son asks, and I note the surprised look on his face. “I’m the Governor of Illinois, I feel it’s my civic duty to support all of Chicago’s sports teams,” Colton says in a way I’m sure sounds very professional. By the look on Carter’s face, I can tell he’s confused. “Your civic what?” my son asks, scrunching up his little nose.

“Civic duty,” Colton repeats. “My apology, I’m not very good with kids.” Those words are directed at me and my stomach sinks. I feel like the worst mother for bringing Colton around my son too soon. What was I thinking? I bet this is goodbye. “That’s okay. I get it. I’m pretty mature for my age though so you don’t need to worry,” Carter answers and I swear I want to pinch his adorable cheeks in this exact moment because my son is right, he is mature and very used to speaking to adults since he plays middle man when we go places. “I don’t need to worry, huh?” Colton asks, hesitantly smiling warmly at Carter before his gaze lifts to mine and his eyebrows crease with worry. I want to crawl out of my skin. I feel so foolish and so very inexperienced at this moment around this man. What must be going through his mind? I brought him over for what he thought would be a dinner date while I have my son here. He was probably after a booty call when he offered dinner. Not a quiet night at home with a family. A family rounded off by Jake, even though we weren’t together in the biblical sense. “Colton,” I take a step forward, unsure how uneven my voice sounded. “I understand if you have other plans for tonight,” I say, giving him an out that wouldn’t raise my son’s curiosity. Colton’s dark brows pinch together, and the

uneasiness that had settled into his features turned into a more contemplative look as he stared at Carter and me. “I’m staying.” He smiles at me, but I sensed the challenge in his demeanor. “I brought burritos, and we’re going to sit and eat burritos.” I couldn’t hear Colton’s voice, but he was smiling like a little boy while he looked down to my son and so I gave whatever this was a chance. “Yay,” Carter must have screamed because he was suddenly airborne. I take a step toward Colton. “Burritos it is,” I say, taking the bag. My son was jumping up and down as we made our way to the kitchen. I get some plates out of the cabinets and pass them to my son to set the table. Then I get some cutlery since I eat my fajitas with a fork which I know was weird, but hey. I take the iced tea I just made out of the fridge, and some apple juice for Carter, and the three of us sit down for a Mexican dinner. “Do you get to watch baseball games live?” Carter asks Colton as he takes a large bite of his burrito. “I do. I get front row seats, and sometimes they let me on the field to pitch a few balls during practice,” Colton explains. My son’s blue eyes grow wide. I am having a hard time keeping up with their conversation since they are speaking back and forth too fast for me to

read their lips. The protective mother in me felt like a colossal fuck up. I used my son to get rid of Colton. I was being selfish and made a stupid mistake. Now I was paying for it dearly because my son liked Colton. There wasn’t much not to like, but I didn’t want to risk Carter befriending him only to see him walk away. Even though he had a stable father in Jake. “Maybe you can come to a game with me sometime,” Colton offers. I caught on to those words, and I’m a little floored he’s invited my son out to a game. “Um.” I clear my throat and hope I am speaking loud enough when I say, “I’m sure the Governor is a busy man. We shouldn’t impose on him.” “The governor?” Carter asks with a questioning look. Colton takes a napkin and wipes some sauce off his lip. “Carter wouldn’t be imposing. It would be cool to take him to a game and hang out,” he says, and I feel like my lower lip may be hanging slightly open. What was happening here? “Yeah Mom, it’d be cool,” Carter repeats. “What is the governor anyway? I thought you said your name is Colton?” Carter gives Colton a confused look. Colton throws his head back laughing. I wonder what his laugh sounded like. When I first became deaf, I missed hearing so much, but then there

came a time where I appreciated my quiet world. Then Carter was born, and I questioned my existence because I had a son who could hear and it terrified me. We learned to get by quite nicely. Now I was questioning myself again because here I was, the perfect man sitting at my dinner table, only he wasn’t perfect for me. Statistics show that longterm relationships didn’t have a high success rate when one person was hearing and the other was deaf. There are enough challenges in life. “Hmm.” Colton brows creased. “Help me out here Evie.” He looks to me with a crooked grin. “The governor is someone that is in government. Meaning responsible for running the state and passing executive laws,” I say, knowing it was a little too much information for my ten-yearold. “Sure whatever!” Carter waves off my words. “You get to sit front row at games and pitch a ball. That makes you cool even if you are the governor.” Colton begins to laugh so hard he put his burrito down, and that makes me laugh because yes, I find Carter adorable but I also find Colton’s reaction to my son charming too. And for a mama that meant trouble. Carter gives us a weird look like he doesn’t understand what us adults found so amusing. Then he finished off his burrito. When my son was done eating he asks if he could be excused and I nod.

Carter goes to the sink and places his dirty plate inside, then saunters off to the family room to play more XBox. I usually limit his playtime but tonight would be an exception. “He’s a great kid,” Colton smiles to me. “Thanks.” I grin, but I feel like I owe him an explanation. I stop eating for a minute. “I’m sorry, I should’ve mentioned something about Carter last time.” Colton shakes his head. “No, you shouldn’t have. We had a dinner date. A first date. You didn’t have to say anything. You don’t owe me an explanation, but I feel like I owe you one,” he explains, and something about his body language makes me tense. Was this the part when he stood up and told me to have a good life? Shit! I hate feeling so vulnerable especially when it comes to a man, but my history and my life caused me to have vulnerabilities that I grappled with almost daily. “Okay,” I say warily. Colton sits back in his chair. He is no longer eating, and his shoulders slightly hunched forward. He looks almost vulnerable, but that doesn’t make sense. I was off. My reading of him is wrong. “Evie. I like you. I can’t stop thinking about you from the minute I saw you.” His eyes turn serious as his blue eyes stare right through me. My frayed nerves make me feel the need to crack a joke about the cream pie I threw to his face, but I hold back

not wanting to break the sincerity of the moment. My chest warms, but my armor is up expecting a goodbye. “It’s just…” he pauses staring at me while looking like a million thoughts was rushing through his mind at once. “I’ve never been in a relationship. I was raised without a family. I’m not used to being around kids.” His body language told me that his confession was filled with such deep emotion my heart hurt for him. He wasn’t the strong, powerful man that the media portrayed at this moment he was just Colton Mathis a simple man with a broken past. A past I could relate to. “I understand,” I say, placing my hand on his thigh over where his hand rests. The gesture was to console him. Even though I should’ve been consoling myself because even though I knew him for a short time, I truly feel heartbroken. It doesn’t make sense. When I touch him, I don’t want to feel the same jolt of electricity I felt a few nights ago when we kissed. Yet, it is there, and it runs through every fiber in my body. His eyes meet mine, and I see recognition. He is feeling it too, and through that connection, our pain feels understood, accepted. I didn’t know I could feel this way. I am sure the earth has tilted slightly sideways as gravity urges me to hold him, touch him, understand his pain even though he is saying goodbye. I have to accept his decision. Respect it. Hell, before I found out I was pregnant I didn’t want kids. I thought I

would make a shitty parent like my mom. I understand Colton right now. Even though I would love to show him that there is another path in life… one filled with family and acceptance. The road I found with Jake and Carter. Except I know, I can’t push that on him. We’re wrong for each other despite our strong attraction. “No, you don’t.” He picks my chin up so that we were eye level and repeats, “You don’t understand because even though I’m completely out of my element, I want to get to know you and your son,” he says, and I swear my ovaries burst. I hear a whoosh of blood pound quickly through my body making me feel so very alive and so very attracted to this man. “I can’t make any promises. My record of accomplishment with women is less than stellar but I want this, I want it badly. I don’t understand it, and I understand if my words want to make you run but please don’t run, don’t even walk away. Give me a small chance and let‘s just see,” he stops talking. I wonder if I have read all those words from his lips correctly or if this is a delusion. “My son lives with me most of the time. He goes to his father to sleep two evenings a week. That means I’m a full-time parent. He comes first. I know that probably isn’t a situation you’re used to but it’s who I am. I’m a parent first, my needs come second.” My emotions overpower me as I stand up from my chair and begin to clear the table. Colton

remains rooted to his seat as I place dishes in the sink. I am giddy, nervous, happy, and scared all at once. I startle when I feel the warmth of his hand on my shoulder. I stop rinsing the dishes and dry my hands. His hand is now guiding me to turn around and look at him. “You’re shaking,” he says, making me realize that I am truly shaking. My emotions are all over the map because of this man I barely know. “I don’t want to upset you, and I don’t want to walk away from you. What you just said about your son makes me respect you more than you’ll ever know. I’m glad you put him first. He’s a lucky kid. Can I settle for getting all of your extra time?” His grin is lopsided as he asks the question, his blue eyes warm and inviting like the soft waves in the Caribbean Sea. “You’re very confusing.” I take a step away from him because having him standing so close clouds my judgment. He remains close, placing his large hand on my shoulder once again and urging me to look at him. He seems to have caught on to the fact that I need a clear view of his lips to communicate. “Get to know me, and you won’t find me so confusing. I normally don’t share details about my personal life with women, but I want to share those details with you,” he pauses, his facial features filling with emotion, pain. I notice how his breathing changes

right before he says, “My mother walked out on my father and me when I was five.” His revelation makes my heart come to a complete halt. I have to remind myself to breathe. “The fact that you care for your son so much put him first. I love that. I don’t want to come in between that. He’s a great kid…” he stops speaking again, and I take the time to absorb his gestures. Watch how torn up he is. I sense he wants to say more but is holding back. “My mom left when I was seven, and my father died when I was two. I was lucky Grandpa Jack took me in. Mom had a hard time trying to raise a deaf kid on her own…” I shake my head because I always make excuses for her even though I know that they’re just excuses. Mothers shouldn’t leave their children behind. Since Carter was born, I understand her less. “I don’t know how a mother does that,” I say, surprised I allowed those words to leave my lips. I don’t think I’ve admitted that aloud before. Colton gives me a knowing look, and before I can say another word, he wraps his strong arms around me and holds me tight. Then he pulls his head back and bends his knees so that we are eye level and asks, “I hope this is okay.” His smile is wide. “It’s more than okay,” I grin. His arms wrapped around me feel heavenly. He understands my commitment to my son, and he still wants to get to know me. I mumble in my head. I want to guard my

heart because I’ve been hurt and I’ve experienced loss, and it terrifies me. Only I can’t defend my heart because Colton has a way of finding cracks in my armor and slithering underneath my shield. I don’t notice my son entering the kitchen, but I feel Colton turn his head and look down to Carter. I pull out of his embrace. “Sir, I was wondering if you wanted to play Xbox with me?” Carter’s lips move, but he also signs. “Carter, Colton probably…” I begin, but Colton picks up a hand and motions for me to wait a minute. “You don’t need to call me Sir. I’m a friend. Call me Colton.” His cerulean eyes are filled with warmth and creased at the sides as he smiles down at my son. “My mom called you governor, so I wasn’t sure,” Carter responds. Colton laughs. “Just Colton and I love Xbox. Which games do you have?” He follows Carter into the next room. I dry my hands off and follow them into the next room taking a seat behind them on the couch. For some reason, I enjoy watching them interact. “Minecraft, Halo, NBA, FIFA.” I watch as my son goes on listing his games. “Let’s put on the NBA that way I don’t embarrass myself in front of your mom,” Colton

smirks while copping a squat on the carpet in front of the TV. Huh? Was this happening or was I daydreaming? Carter popped the game in and set things up then sat next to Colton. I went to sit on the other edge of the couch so I could see their faces. “I’m warning you I’m not very good. I got my first video game when I was thirty,” Colton smiles. Carter continues to play the game. “Really? Didn’t you play video games as a boy? My dad and I love video games,” Carter explains, and I love that he can refer to something he likes with his dad. I didn’t have that kind of upbringing with a close family, so I appreciated that my son had that even more. “No, my dad was pretty strict. There were no video games allowed in our house. I was busy doing other things like school work.” Carter scrunched up his face. “I’m sorry. That doesn’t sound like much fun.” He was getting carried away with the game remote. “My dad still has his Atari and old Nintendo. When I go over to his place we play the games he played with as a boy; it’s pretty cool, they don’t make them like they used too,” Carter explains, sounding very mature. It sounds like something Jake would have said. “Your dad is a lucky guy then.” Colton smiles to Carter just as Carter scores a goal on him. I was

beginning to think that Colton was allowing my son to win on purpose. Colton turned to look back at me with a wide smirk and winked. My hunch was right. Colton was making a real effort with my son and whether I liked it or not I couldn’t control the little butterflies that danced in my stomach knowing that was true.

Chapter Ten Colton Evie went to prepare a shower for Carter and get him ready for bed, and here I am leaning back on her couch with my ankle resting on my knee like I’m the most relaxed person in the world. The crazy part is that I am relaxed. Me of only a week ago was a commitment-phobe,feeding Cassandra a crap of bullshit about how settling down would ruin our lives. Here I was enjoying a quiet night staying in with a beautiful woman and her cute son. I look around the apartment almost in awe. The place has a homey feel, a woman’s touch. When I was growing up, the house I lived in may have been enormous, and we may have had a maid, but it held no character. This house has style. It’s a home. I like it here. I feel like I’m having an epiphany on Evie’s couch. Listening to her speak with the utmost conviction about being a mother had me undone. If I found her drop-dead gorgeous before, now I find her delectably sexy on an entirely different level. I like and respect her as a human. It may sound

fucked up, but years of therapy taught me I have issues with women, as in I don’t trust them - at all. It has something to do with my mother leaving, no goodbye, not even a fucking postcard over the years, nothing. When I was a teenager and became attracted to the opposite sex, I realized I needed the ladies for sex, no emotion required. There may have been madness to my method, but it worked just fine until the cream pie throwing bandit in the next room knocked my socks off. Instead of running in the opposite direction as I usually do, I want to stay and ride the wave that is Evie… I realize I don’t have her last name yet. “Hey.” Her soft voice drifts through the room pulling me from my epiphany. “Carter’s asleep. He had a great night. Thank you.” She comes around the couch only she takes a seat on the opposite loveseat beside me instead of sitting next to me. She’s keeping her distance, and I don’t like it one bit. “I had fun too, he’s a great kid.” I look at her meaningfully only my thoughts begin to run wild as she sits across from me in the dark room. She dimmed the lights before she went to put Carter to bed. She said if he knew I planned to stay, he would never settle down for bed and I’d find myself having a sleepover with him. Right now, the only thing I was envisioning was having a sleepover with

his mom and her writhing beneath me. The rational part of my brain told me that wasn’t happening tonight. “Thanks.” Her smile is soft and sweet as she watches me. She leans forward, I think to be able to see my lips clearly if I say something. I’m trying to remember to look directly at her when I speak or when I’m with her. It means I’m focusing on her a lot and something about the way we communicate intrigues me more. Light from the next room hits her pale skin, and I’m not sure if it’s the reflection of the light, or if she’s blushing. “Can I invite you to sit beside me? Or are there certain rules because Carter is here?” I ask, placing each of my arms on the backrest of the couch. She nods and stands from the loveseat and takes a seat close to me, even though I sense her guard is up. Can’t say I blame her with all the speculation about my relationship history reported in the media. “It was a fun night. Thanks for bringing dinner,” she says, and she’s so close to me that my lips ache to kiss her. My features straighten as the scent of strawberries waft my way. My eyes warm at the sight of her and I can’t focus on small talk because I need to kiss her like I need air. I want to take things slow. I don’t want to rush whatever is happening between us, but my body is impulsive around her, wanting to ravish every inch of her

skin. “I need to know your last name,” I say, maybe to redirect the lust flowing through my body. I know she can’t hear me, but my voice is raspy and filled with so much need as we eye each other hungrily. She giggles, and it breaks the heat level between us. Thankfully. I have to keep reminding myself to take things slow with her. “Harper, my last name is Harper. Why?” She sounds a little breathless. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this intense attraction. “No reason, I just want to know more about you. As much as I can,” I say the words as my head drifts closer and closer toward her. “Can I kiss you?” I ask because I can’t take it anymore. No distraction is going to quell my craving to kiss her. My lips practically brush her lips already. She doesn’t say a word as she shifts the few centimeters required for our lips to meet and she seals the deal. Her lips are warm and inviting; the kiss deepens as our tongues come out to play. She wraps her arms around my neck. I hold mine around her back, but it isn’t enough, I still need more, and so I slowly slide her back so that she’s lying on one end on the couch. I lie above her not putting my full weight on her but close enough to feel the swell of her breasts pressed against my chest. My cock is rock solid and looking for friction but I maintain control as I slide one hand under the T-shirt she’s wearing and slip

her bra under her breasts. From there I find her nipple, puckered, hard. It makes my dick pulsate as I run my fingertips over her nipple and her breathing accelerates. My breaths quicken at the thought of more, especially when she presses her lower body into my stiff cock and lets out a little moan. That’s when her eyes jerk open startling me. “I’m sorry. We need to slow things down. Carter is in the next room. He could wake up. It wouldn’t be right,” she murmurs as she slides out from under me and adjusts her bra while sitting upright. She wraps her arms around the center of her body and looks at the floor. Shit, I’ve already fucked up. I’m so out of my element. The ladies I’m with have no problem getting down and dirty in under a minute. I forgot she’s responsible for a child in the next room. I come around to look at her and tilt her chin up so that her eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away…I just feel…” words are lost on me. I rake my fingers through the strands of my hair. “I understand. It’s fine. I got carried away too. It’s just been a while for me,” she says, and I like to hear those words from her mouth. I would also like to rectify her situation. She’s pure, real…the mixture does crazy things to my libido which has gone into overdrive. “How long?” I cock a brow and ask playfully. If

I’m not getting any, I might as well taunt myself with thoughts of how pure she truly is. She giggles. “Honestly, I don’t date much. Between work and spending time with Carter and Jake, I have my hands full. I notice she didn’t give me a straight answer and now I’m wondering who the hell Jake is? “Right. Sorry. Jake is Carter’s father. He’s also my best friend,” she says throwing me way off course. “Your ex-husband is your best friend? That’s one I never heard before.” I shift uneasily in my seat. Maybe there’s no room for me in her life. I want her but can’t be a third wheel. She shakes her head. “No, it’s not like that,” she begins. “Jake was my best friend from high school. One night in college we hooked up. I got pregnant, but we weren’t in love. It was just one drunk night that brought us a beautiful gift and tied us together for an eternity,” she explains, and I don’t know why but I know I don’t like Jake and I sure as hell don’t like the jealousy that is clouding my brain either. “Shit! That sounds romantic, Evie. Is there still something going on between you and Jake? I’d rather you be upfront with me,” I say as years of therapy come pouring out of me. I don’t trust women, and here I am putting myself on the line for a woman that already has a man in her life. I wonder what Dr. Bennett would say to that? She

watches me intently, nodding her head as I speak telling me she understood everything I said. She places her hand on mine. “No, Colton. Jake and I are best friends, always have been. I love him as a friend. He is an important person to me and a good father to my son. I’m telling you because if we end up dating, then you’ll meet him. If I wanted Jake, we would be together now. I wouldn’t be with you here like this. I’m not with Jake because I don’t have those kinds of feelings for him,” she says. “And what does Jake think about that?” I ask because I’m looking at a smart, sexy, compassionate woman, Jake must see what I see, and she’s the mother of his kid. She shakes her head. “Jake feels the same. We’ve both dated other people since Carter was born. I’ve met his girlfriends, and he’s met people I’ve dated.” “I see,” I say skeptically. “I’ve just never dated anyone that was hearing before,” she admits, albeit hesitantly. “Really? Why?” My face scrunches up, and my lips twist. She’s throwing me for a loop. “It’s hard. Talking so much makes me tired. Having to focus on your mouth so much makes me tired too,” she explains, and it makes me feel bad that she’s putting in such a great effort. “I don’t know how to sign, but I’m willing to

learn. I’m a fast learner too. Can you teach me?” I ask because I’m intrigued. I can’t explain it, but her being deaf has me interested not only in her but in an entire segment of the population that can’t hear. That live life silently. I wonder what it would be like, and my excitement to learn grows more. I don’t understand my interest. Is it her? Do I want her that bad? Is it me? I know I like to learn new things. I like to help the disadvantaged but would she see herself that way? I internally chide myself for the insulting thought. Evie is an independent woman. She is doing a heck of a fine job as a single mother. She’s competent, smart and beautiful… I only hope she will allow me to become part of her life. “What are you thinking?” she asks. I shrug. “I don’t know. Too many thoughts are rolling in here,” I point to my head. “I have a lot going on,” I explain. She crosses her legs and smiles at me. “Tell me. You do the talking. I will watch you.” “Okay.” I blow out a breath. She wants me to talk. I don’t share my feelings with anyone but Dr. Bennett, and Al at times. I know what she’s asking for and as tight as it makes my chest feel at the thought of sharing my secrets with her, the idea of losing her at this moment scares me more. I can see that she needs this from me and here is my test. My willingness to share. I inhale and exhale slowly.

Whoa. Okay. You can do this Colt… “Well, there is my dad for starters. He’s been running my campaigns ever since I was state attorney,” I explain, not sure this is what she wants to hear but I have to start somewhere. She watches me intently like she’s truly interested. She’s so unlike the other women I’ve dated. Her and Cassy couldn’t be more opposite, and I’ve been off and on with Cassy a long while. “Well, really he’s been running my life since I was a little boy,” I chortle, thinking that she can’t hear me. “I was lucky to have him after Mom left.” I continue, surprised at my willingness to bring up my mom. Was it because she was a good mom? I didn’t know. I felt all kinds of fucked up, but I allowed words to pour out of me, for her. “He became a full-time parent. He was a partner in a law firm and had wanted to enter politics. He had plans to run for the presidency one day but that all changed when he became a single dad. He dedicated his life to me. Sent me to the best schools. Everything I have or am is because of him,” I explain as if I’m reliving all those years. I feel like I’m glorifying my life to this woman and it wasn’t always good. “You’re lucky you had him,” she says, looking into my eyes. I exhale, “Yeah, the old man also taught me how to pick up chicks. He’s a real ladies man. Never settled down with another woman after Mom left. It

was him and me against the world.” I grin thinking of the past. “We had good times. Things started to change though once I graduated from Harvard Law school.” “How?” She looks to me with such sincerity it pulls at something deep inside me, and it isn’t because I’m governor. Most of the other women I’m with like my position, my looks are an added bonus. With Evie, I feel like she wants to know the real me. Not many people know the real me. Even my father doesn’t know what makes me tick. Or maybe he does know and doesn’t care. “I must be making you very tired right now.” I take her hand and rub my thumb along the soft skin of her hand needing to touch her even if the touch is small. “No, I’m interested. Please continue,” she urges. “Once I graduated Harvard, my dad became obsessed with the idea of me running for the presidency one day. Every move I made was calculated on his part. I worked for the DA, and Dad saw that as an opening to run for state attorney. I was hesitant at first, but it meant so much to him, I just couldn’t deny him that feeling of satisfaction, not after everything he gave up to raise me. The problem was state attorney wasn’t enough, and so we went for the governorship, and here I am.” I smile, but it feels more like a frown.

“The quintessential American aristocrat,” she says, clearly accentuating the difference between her and me. She was putting up a wall. Dividing us even with my efforts. “Apparently,” I wink. “Now he wants me to run for the presidency, but I think I’m done. I just want normalcy at this point in my life. Maybe go back to work for the DA. I always loved the law. I just wanted to be on the right side of it,” I explain. “And yet, here you are paving your way to the presidency,” she grins. I’ve gotten used to her voice. The way she speaks, but since she brought the issue of how difficult regular conversation is for her, it makes me worry. I love talking to her but this… what we are doing now is hard on her. “Is that what I’m doing?” I ask, but I don’t think I meant to answer her statement. I lift her hand in mine and brush her soft skin with my thumb. She looks at me lazily like she’s ready for bed. “Thank you for listening.” I lean over and press a soft kiss on her cheek. I realize I said listening but it doesn’t faze her, or at least she doesn’t call me on it. “I like watching you speak. Maybe a little too much,” she admits, pressing her pointer finger to her thumb. “Thank you,” I squeeze her hand. I don’t think I’ve had such an intimate conversation with a woman before and yet with her it felt so natural. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” “How did you become deaf?” I ask, hoping I’m not prying too much even though I feel like I just poured my soul to her. I just feel like I need to know because she can apparently hold a conversation. I just wonder what it all means. I think this is me trying to understand her. “I developed the flu. It should have been a normal virus, but I developed a bacterial infection that caused me to lose my hearing. I don’t know if it’s related for sure, but my father died when I was two from complications from the flu. He was sick one minute, and then his heart gave out the next. At least, that’s how I remember my mother telling the story,” she says, and I can see the sadness in her eyes, and it pulls at something deep inside me only I don’t know what it is. Something about her story feels familiar, but then again maybe it’s just talking about mothers who leave. “So, your mom was around when you got sick?” I ask. Then immediately feel the need to apologize. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’m not usually so nosy.” She bites her lip. “It’s not something I talk about, but I think you’re curious because of your mother leaving. I don’t mind sharing.” “Thank you.” I sigh as her words resonate. I’m somehow relating our pasts. “Mom was a single parent. We didn’t have

much money. My father wasn’t a rich man and didn’t leave much behind. Things were tough, and when I became deaf, I think it was just too much for her. One day she dropped me off at Grandpa Jack’s house. Said she’d be back in a few hours. She was going for a job interview at a clothing store. She never came back.” She seems like she’s trying to smile to hide her pain, but it’s as clear as day. The way her lips have turned down instead are a giveaway. It’s funny how there are certain things you just never get over no matter how much time passes. That familiar pain, the dark hole that resonates in her blue eyes right now feels so familiar, so raw. “Shit, Evie. I’m sorry, that couldn’t have been easy.” “It wasn’t,” she snickers. “You were a boy raised by a man. I was a young girl being raised by an old man. I didn’t have a woman to explain the basics to me. Then I met Jake in high school, and his mom was good to me. She still is. She taught me the things Grandpa Jack couldn’t. We grew up not having much, but we had each other, and it was enough,” she says, and a sense of contentment washes over her features. I realize I don’t feel the same way. I don’t feel content. I don’t feel like I had enough. I feel robbed in a way, and after being in therapy for over ten years, I still don’t have answers as to why.

“You’re lucky you had them,” I say. “I’m happy for you that you did.” “They’re my family,” she shrugs. I sigh knowing she can’t hear it. Family. The word resonates. What is going on with me? My life was smooth sailing until this red-haired vixen beside me threw a pie in my face.

Chapter Eleven Evie It was already lunchtime, and I couldn’t get Colton Mathis out of my head. It had been a few days since he was at my apartment for a night of burritos and playing Xbox with Carter, but I still felt like I was walking on air, a perma-smile plastered on my lips. I must have looked like I had great sex last night, only there was no sex, just texting. I had spent the last few evenings texting Colton past midnight. I was learning a lot about him. Like he preferred Lou Malnati’s pizza over Uno’s any day. I had to agree with him on that. He grew up being a Cubs fan but when he became governor, convinced himself to be impartial. He also may have alluded to the fact that he wouldn’t argue if we got some alone time together. Just texting him had me hot and bothered. The man was gorgeous, one look at that body of his and I was having all kinds of dirty thoughts. It also didn’t help that we connected on an emotional level. I know the media made him seem like an ultimate playboy, but the citizens of Illinois adored him because he advocated for

people. Still, I had to face the reality that he was most definitely a lady’s man through and through. A lady’s man I seemed to be getting hooked on. I was in such deep trouble. I was staring into space when I noticed Jake waving his hands in front of me, then he signed ‘earth to Evie.’ I shake my head and motion the sign for ‘sorry a lot on my mind.’ “Oh yeah,” he signs, but he doesn’t seem too pleased with me. “Would it have to do with a certain governor?” he was signing when he asked, but I feel the disdain roll off his features. “Carter told me he spent the night hanging out with you two a few nights ago.” Carter had spent the last three nights at home. I knew he texted Jake often. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that he told Jake about our burrito night with Colton. I just didn’t understand why Jake was so tough on me about the Colton thing. “Yes, he brought us dinner, and Carter and Colton played X Box. That was it. I told Carter he’s a friend,” I say with my hands. Jake’s lips purse together. “I think you’re making a big mistake, Evie. The problem is, I know you too well, and when you set your mind on something, there’s no changing it. I just don’t want you to get hurt at the end of the day. I’m just looking out for you,” Jake signs and the shield I

was holding up where Colton was concerned melted. I didn’t need to hide from Jake, I never did. He had my best interest at heart. I knew that. “I appreciate you, I do. I don’t want you to worry. I’m a big girl. Can take care of myself, you know that,” I motion in return, hoping to ease his worry. “He’s a powerful man. You see the news, you’ve seen his women. Is that what you want for yourself?” he asks, and I still feel like he isn’t on board, which puts me on edge. “Jake, that isn’t fair. I didn’t say I’m marrying the guy. I like him, like spending time with him. That is all. I’m not falling head over heels in love.” I brush him off, knowing my words bleed dishonesty. “Really? When I walked in here, you were in la la land,” Jake motions using extra drama for effect. I couldn’t deny his words. I was definitely on cloud Colton. Shit! “Give me a break. I’m young. Need a life. I know you’re looking out for me but give me space on this, okay?” I stand from my desk and walk around to hug Jake. Hugging him always felt comforting, like home. He pulls his head back and drops his hands so he can sign something. “I forgot… the reason I came by was that Mom is moving to Chicago. I wanted to tell you the other day, but I got caught up

with a bunch of things.” “Oh wow. Carter is going to be so happy. When does she arrive?” I ask. “Today,” he responds, and my eyes go wide. “Today?” I repeat the gesture in shock. “Where is she staying?” “With me until she finds a place. She felt secluded without us in California. I was trying to convince her for a while. She got a job here working in HR, so she’s moving.” “That’s amazing Jake. I’m so happy for you,” I sign, grinning wide. “I wanted to see if you wanted to join us for dinner tonight? I know it’s my night with Carter, but Mom would love to see you.” I knew the question was coming. In the back of my mind, I had thought about seeing Colton tonight since Carter wouldn’t be home, but Colton hadn’t said anything, so I was free. “Yes, I’d love to come. I’d love to see her too. What should I bring?” I motion. “Nothing. I’m making my famous baked chicken,” he gestures with a wink. “I will see you at six, yeah?” I nod. “Thanks.” Jake leaned in to give me a peck on the cheek and then he was gone. He seemed always to be very busy lately, and I wondered if it was a woman that occupied his time. I wouldn’t have been

jealous, but I sometimes do feel territorial over Jake because he was important to me and I wanted him to settle with the right girl. That thought made me realize that he was also only looking out for me too. I returned to my desk, hoping to get some work done when my phone lit up on my desk. A message from Colton. Great timing, Colton. I thought to myself. What are your plans for tonight? If you have Carter, maybe we can just hang out, and if you don’t have Carter, maybe we can just hang out. Followed by the message was an emoji with sunglasses. The man was smooth. I’d give him that. These last few nights he had been busy with commitments, but he texted me every night when he got home, and I looked forward to hearing from him. I never dated much, so I had a slim chance of settling down, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t crave the feeling of having someone to love who would love me back. I felt empty and tired of being alone, sleeping alone, eating alone. Especially when Carter went to Jake’s. Here I was falling fast and hard. It scared me that I could picture Colton and me getting into bed at night together, sharing meals…everything…I could imagine a life with Colton. I don’t have Carter tonight. But I have to go to Jake’s for dinner.

After writing the message, I suddenly regretted agreeing to dinner with Jake and Veronica. The dots were rolling on my screen indicating he was replying. Dinner with Jake? I thought you said he wasn’t my competition. I shake my head laughing at the thought of Colton being jealous of Jake. Yes, Jake was handsome, smart and a good man who was hard to find, but Colton was the whole package, charismatic, intelligent, he loved to help people. Jake’s mom is having dinner with us. She’s moving to town, and I haven’t seen her in a while. I press send, realizing I was explaining myself to this beautifully handsome powerful man that has a heart of gold beneath his suave demeanor. Little old me. And better yet, he wanted my explanation. The fact that he even cared was enough to floor me. Can I pick you up after dinner? It will be late. I’ll be tired. Why was I pushing him away when I wanted him so bad? I was scared. That had to be the only answer. I’m persistent. I want to see you. Let me come over. He continued to be persistent, and I loved his pushiness. It did good things to my insides. I also wasn’t going to reject him. Sheesh! An evening

alone with Colton would be dreamy. The thought was getting me stirred up, and the temperature in the classroom seemed to elevate, or maybe it was just my overheated body. Okay. I’ll see you at my place later. Text you when I’m done. The dots begin rolling on my phone as I anticipate what he will say next. One word comes through… Good I was starting to get the impression that Colton Mathis could be bossy and for some reason his bossiness made my belly tighten deliciously. I was merely too weak to deny him.

Chapter Twelve Colton “Would you look in the damn file, Colton? The woman was arrested back in 2006.” My father hissed as he gave me his penetrating look. “I’m not looking in the file, Father.” I was about ready to snap. Tell him there was no way I was putting myself through a presidency race. But that same old guilt held my tongue in place. “What did she get arrested for anyway? Stealing a chocolate bar?” I snicker since he seemed so hell-bent on Evie and the Mathis family business was after all based on famous chocolate candy bars. I thought he might be taking personal offense. Of course, I was just playing with him, not that he appreciated it much. “No, public indecency,” he scoffs. I try to hold back my laughter, but it is no use. The thought of Evie naked in public made my dick turn half-mast and now was not the right time. No, I had a date with her tonight, and her son wouldn’t be home which meant sexy times with my fiery redhead.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I pick up the folder. It said she was brought in for questioning and later released. She was arrested at a concert. Evie was a wild child. I liked the thought of that too. Although I wondered what a deaf person did at a concert. I felt like a douche for thinking it. I had to educate myself more on deafness. “She was released, Father. No charges were laid.” I threw the file across my desk. I knew my father well enough to know where this was leading. He was trying to say that Evie wasn’t good enough to be first lady material. Only I didn’t give a shit. I was just thinking of her fine rack. It may be pig-headed, but I was still a red-blooded male. “You’re missing the point,” my father pressed his palms firmly on my desk as he hovered. A tactic used to intimidate me only he didn’t realize it’s not intimidation I felt. It was more like guilt, even though I was just a child, and him choosing to take care of me wasn’t something I asked for however grateful I am. Dr. Bennett and I have dissected the issue down to its core, and no matter how she explains it, there is still the damn guilt. I blow out a breath because dealing with my father requires the patience of a saint and I’m far from it. “I understand your point, Father, but I like this girl. Like really, truly, like her. I want to give us a chance. I’ve never wanted to give anyone a chance, but her I do. Do you get my point?” I throw

his words back in his face. His features slightly soften but not enough to melt the ice that forms around him when it comes to my political career. “There are sacrifices that should be made for the greater good. The American people respect you…no; they adore you,” he says, raising his voice. “They deserve a good honest president, and you are that man. We can do this, Colt. Get rid of the girl. Trust me.” With that, my father winks and pushes off my desk. He straightens his tie and dashes out of my office with the same conviction he had entered. Assuming his point was made and I would follow the order. Only I wasn’t following his rules this time. I just reached the threshold of my father’s demands. That and I wanted my life, my way. Maybe it was therapy or Dr. Bennett’s influence, I don’t know, but I couldn’t hold on to my childhood hang-ups forever. My guilt wasn’t going to keep me warm at night. With that last thought, I packed up my briefcase and headed home. I had a hot date tonight, and if things went as planned, I’d have Evie writhing beneath me.

Chapter Thirteen Evie I look at my watch. It’s eight o’clock. I am itching to get home so that I could see Colton. “I’ll go get Carter ready for bed,” Jake signs to me and his mother. “Go ahead. I’ll hang out with Evie for a while,” Veronica says and signs at the same time. I love seeing Veronica, Jake’s mom, and I love hanging out with her, but I have a very hot and very distinguished governor waiting on me. The thought makes me press my thighs together to stop the ache building between my legs at the idea of Colton merely touching me. “I should get going,” I say, standing up from the chair in Jake’s kitchen. Jake is holding Carter in his arms even though my son was too big to be carried that way. Still, I love that he has such an adoring and affectionate father in Jake. With Carter in his arms, Jake can’t sign, but he is cutting me a glare. He puts our son down and signs to him to go to his room to get ready for a shower. Carter runs off. “You seeing

him tonight?” Jake signs. I notice Veronica eyeing us carefully, trying to figure out what was going on as she still works on her glass of wine from dinner. “Who is ‘him?’” she asks, looking directly at me. She takes another sip of her wine. “Colton Mathis, the governor,” I say. Veronica’s wine glass slipped out of her hand smashing to the table and falling to the floor breaking into small shards of glass. She has a stupefied look on her face for a moment before she snaps out of it and begins reacting to the mess she made. “Shoot. Look what I’ve done,” she chides herself then reaches down for the broken glass. “Veronica, wait…” I hope my voice sounds loud. She pauses and looks up to me, a blank look on her face. “Let me get a broom and dustpan. You shouldn’t pick it up with your hands. I don’t want you to get cut.” She nods silently, still standing in the mess like she is an ice sculpture. Her behavior is bizarre. I know I am just some regular person and the governor is, well, the governor, but that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. I thought more along the lines of Wow! Evie, you lucky girl. I go to get the dustpan and broom from the cupboard while Jake signs he is going to check on Carter. Apparently, my assumption was off base. Her reaction just fed into my insecurities. I am a deaf woman dating the

governor. Why would he want me over so many other beautiful women in the long run? I tamp down my negative thoughts. Veronica snaps out of her daze and holds the dustpan while I sweep the shards of broken glass. We dump everything into a plastic bag, and I take it to the garbage bin. If I had been excited only moments ago, now I was questioning everything. I return to the kitchen with a wet rag to wipe up the remnants of the wine from the broken glass. When I lift my head, I take in Veronica’s frown. “Oh, sweet girl. I’m sorry for my reaction. I don’t want you to think what you’re thinking. I can see your pain in the depths of your blue eyes. It’s always there and I know I’ve said this to you before, but you are an amazing woman. You’re a great mother, and any man should be honored to have you,” she says sincerely, her hands signing all the words held more impact for me. She smiles softly. “You know deep down I always wished you and Jake would finally get your acts together and make Carter a home. I know I don’t say it explicitly, but a mother and grandmother could wish,” she says, and a lone tear begins to stray down her left cheek. I don’t know what to feel at this point. Deep down I know these are her wishes. “I know, and I hate that you feel disappointed,” I say, and she stops me from continuing. “No, sweet girl. I’m not disappointed. You and

my son have done a great job raising Carter. I’m proud of you both. I’m so sorry if my reaction caused you to doubt yourself because you should have no doubts.” “How could I not have doubts?” I ask. What I wanted to say was that my mother didn’t want a deaf child because it was too difficult. Why would someone like Colton want me long term? “I know what happened with your mom still hurts, but I hope it hasn’t defined you. I’ve always prayed for that. Look at all you’ve accomplished. You’re special, Evie, there is no doubt about that.” “Thank you.” I lean in and hug Veronica. When I pull away, the lone tear has turned to several. “Ignore me, I’ve had too much wine with dinner, and I am too emotional,” she waves me off. “I’m going to give Carter a kiss goodbye,” I say, walking toward the back of Jake’s apartment. I see steam billowing from the shower, so I just stand in the doorway hoping to project my voice as much as possible. “Have a good night, honey!” I can’t hear a reply, but then I see Carter’s small hand wave outside the curtain. I walk by Carter’s room where I watch Jake getting his bed ready for sleep since there are a ton of toys poured over top. I tap his shoulder and sign for him to have a good night. He doesn’t seem in an overly friendly mood so I place a peck on his cheek too and tell him I

would see him at school tomorrow. “Have a good night,” I say to Veronica who is in the kitchen clearing off the table. She lifts her head and says, “You too.” I can’t get over the solemn look on her face when she says it. And with those last words, I leave the apartment even though an unsettled feeling has come upon me.

Chapter Fourteen Colton My phone rings on the Bluetooth in my car. Cassy’s name lights up the screen. I’ve ignored her calls all day, but I can’t keep ignoring her. I also can’t say what I have to say over the phone. Even though things have always been casual between us, our on and off again flings have been going on for quite some time. I press the answer button on my steering wheel. “Hello.” “Colt, darling,” Cassy’s sultry voice purrs through the line. “Cassandra. Where are you? I was hoping we could meet.” “I’m home at my condo. I knew you would come to your senses. You can’t live without my pussy. I’m already dripping wet for you baby,” she coos and it does nothing for me. In the past, Cassandra’s dirty talk used to get me all riled up. Now I’m feeling nothing. “We need to talk,” I respond, hoping I don’t come off too strong because Cassy can be sensitive. “That doesn’t sound good, Colt. I think we

should fuck then talk. I’m horny,” she whines. I sigh to myself hoping she doesn’t hear my reaction. Cassandra does not like hearing the word no. “See you soon.” I press the phone button on my steering wheel to end the call. This is not going to be easy. I continue my drive over to her place. I want to make it a fast talk because I’m itching to see Evie. She already texted me that she’s on her way home from dinner. As excited as I am about seeing Evie, it irks me how close she is to the father of her child. Even though on a different level I respect her for it. I seem to be all over the map these days where she’s concerned. One thing is sure, I’m attracted to her on a level I’ve never felt before. I pull up to the front of Cassandra’s building and leave my car running for the parking attendant. “Hi, Mr. Mathis. Should I park her for the night?” he asks, referring to my new Tesla Roadster. “Keep her close. I won’t be long.” I grin to the attendant and turn to go inside the building. At least I hope Cassandra doesn’t keep me long. Riding up in the elevator, I feel like I’m sitting on pins and needles. It’s the end of an era like I’m giving up my bachelorhood when all I’m doing is trying to be monogamous with a woman that genuinely intrigues me.

The elevator stops on Cassandra’s floor, and I exit. Cassandra is waiting for me with her door open. As I approach, I notice what she’s wearing. It’s a lace bodysuit, mostly see through and a pair of fuck-me red high heels. Nope. Cassandra wasn’t going to let me go easy. “Hey, Colt. Haven’t seen you in a while.” Her lips painted with fire red lipstick turned down in a pout. She moves her long raven hair to one shoulder. As I take in her motions, I realize how she uses her sexuality with me, always. Our relationship is based on sex. I shouldn’t complain, we’ve had hot times together. It’s beyond me why I crave more now, or specifically Evie who doesn’t use her sexuality at all, and yet I find her so mouthwateringly sexy. Shit Colton, focus here. You can’t be getting your dick excited about Evie when we have to deal with Cassy. I chide myself. “You know. Things have been busy.” I walk through the threshold of her apartment, and Cassy immediately tries to plant a hot kiss on my lips. I stop her by holding her shoulders back. I can’t have the taste of another woman on my lips when I go to see Evie. “We need to talk, Cassy.” I let out a heavy sigh as I walk further into her apartment. Everything is white, her furniture, the walls. I take a seat on the white leather sofa in the middle of the room. “Have a seat, Cassy.” I pat the spot beside me.

“You’re scaring me, Colt,” she says, and I can see the fear in her eyes. Before Cassy met me, she was in an abusive relationship. I don’t want to say I saved her, but I got her old boyfriend to back off, then showed her that a man could be tender with a woman. Cassy, in a way, depends on me. “Nothing to be scared of sweets.” I pick her hand up for reassurance. She may come off tough on the outside, but she’s a ball of mush on the inside. “I just need to cut things off between us. No more hooking up. I’ve met someone.” The second those last words leave my mouth, Cassy pulls her hand out of mine and shoots up from her seat. Her arms are folding protectively over her torso. “Cassy.” I stand up and place a hand on her shoulder. “Look, I’ve always been upfront with you about what is going on here between us.” “I know,” she shrugs out of my grip. “It was never my intention to hurt you. You’re a beautiful woman. You have a lot to offer—” She cuts me off. “I want to have a lot to offer you, Colt.” Her dark eyes looked sad, distressed. I knew this would be difficult. I just didn’t realize how difficult. “Cassy, I never made you any promises. You know how I operate. I’m sorry if I gave you hope for us. I never intended for that to happen. That’s why I was always straight up with you.”

“I know, I know.” She bows her head shaking it back and forth. “You’re quite a catch. A girl can dream.” She says softly, picking her head up to give me a small smile. “I should put something on.” She looks down at herself with an embarrassed look. “I should get going,” I say. “You take care, Cassy.” “You too, Colt.” I show myself out. I expected more of a fight from her. I didn’t think she would let me go that easily, maybe I was wrong, or perhaps my damn ego is too inflated. Now, I can’t get over to Evie’s apartment fast enough. I don’t know if tonight will be about sex, but I was sure hoping it would be. Even though Cassy wasn’t a formal girlfriend, I am now a free man. A part of me should have felt nervous on my drive over to Evie, but I felt invigorated, alive for the first time in a long time. The change was a good thing. Me taking a leap of faith where Evie was concerned was a big deal. My past relationship issues were based on the fact that I couldn’t trust the women I was with. I saw them as back stabbers, which I know sounds crazy, but go figure, childhood trauma plus the fact that I was raised by a man that didn’t value relationships. It was all I knew until my little rude awakening, better known as a cream pie to the face, and the exquisite lady behind the throwing fiasco woke me up. I only

hope I don’t regret my leap of faith with Evie because if I can’t make things work with her then I will lose all hope for myself, and I would hate to turn out to be a bitter old man like my father.

Chapter Fifteen Evie I tried to wipe the last half an hour out of my mind as I rushed home to take a shower and shave my legs, armpits, and bikini area. After my shower, I rubbed on loads of coconut scented moisturizing cream. I couldn’t let my insecurities bring me down. Even though I felt like an amateur, a young, inexperienced girl next to these models that Colton had been photographed with. I wasn’t sexy and wild. I was simple, too simple. I didn’t even know what to wear. I had some pieces of lingerie, but I didn’t want to open the door and let him think off the bat that this was some booty call. I opted for a simple grey T-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. Underneath the shirt and pants, I opted for one of my sexier bra and panty sets; a teal lace bra with a matching thong. I was about to make myself a cup of tea to settle my nerves about tonight when the red light above the door flashed indicating I had company. I inhale a long cleansing breath and open the door. The mere sight of him makes my heart pick up pace. His

blue eyes gaze warmly at me, and my chest explodes. “Come in,” I say, waving him in. I wonder if my voice conveys how I am shaking inside and I don’t know if it is only nerves or the fact that I want to jump this man’s bones. He walks past me and immediately turns around, pulling me into his arms. If I am not mistaken, he looks nervous. His crooked smile is giving him away. “It’s good to see you,” he says, and again I wished I knew the sound of his voice. Was it deep and throaty? Was it low and baritone? He keeps his arms around my waist and that electricity I felt around him is back full force along with my hormones and my sex neglected woman parts. “Carter is with his dad tonight,” I blurt out, remembering I already told him Carter wouldn’t be here. I worry it sounds odd like maybe I was telling him we have a green light to get it on. I feel so awkward. “He’s a great kid, but I’m glad to have some alone time with you.” He brushes his nose against mine and our lips touch, but he doesn’t kiss me. His breath smells minty. “I’d like that too.” He follows me deeper into my apartment. He is wearing a suit tonight. I feel an aura of power around him now that he is in a suit as opposed to the jeans he wore on our previous dates. It reminds

me that this man meets with the president, entertains dignitaries… “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asks and presses his nose to mine briefly causing my breath to hitch before he pulls away. “Your suit reminds me that you are the governor,” I say and I know it sounds weird, but somehow in my head on the last few dates, I tried to convince myself that he was just a regular guy. He chuckles, and again I wish I knew the sound of his laughter. “I’m still the same guy whether I’m in a suit and tie or a pair of jeans,” he replies. I want to tell him that he looks hot as sin in his suit but something tells me that his ego is inflated enough. “Isn’t the governor’s mansion in Springfield? Why are you always in Chicago?” I ask, knowing this because I also teach history and the governor’s mansion has been in use since 1855. “Yes, the governor’s mansion is in Springfield, and I do occupy it in a way, but I hate it there. It’s big and empty. I much prefer my apartment here in the city. Truth is since I met you I’ve been spending more time in Chicago than I have in Springfield,” he says, and his blue eyes blaze as he makes the admission. My chest turns warm and saliva pools in the back of my throat. Fuck! I am so turned on by him. “Oh,” is the only word I can formulate right

now. He walks toward me at such a slow pace, and I feel like someone has pressed a slow-motion button. I take a large gulp as he closes the distance between us. He pushes a stray strand of hair off my face. “I’ve been thinking about kissing the hell out of you all day,” he says. My knees buckle, at least they feel like they do because the next thing I know his lips are on mine, hot and wanting. He kisses softly at first before his tongue begs entrance into my mouth. His taste is as intoxicating as I remembered. Our lips meshed together in a way that tells me, we fit. This is more than perfect. This kiss is everything.

Chapter Sixteen Colton I’m kissing her, and I can’t think straight. We did a whole lot of talking these past couple of weeks, and tonight I just want her naked body pressed to mine. She wraps her arms around my neck showing me that her thoughts are moving in the same direction. I press my lips to hers and kiss the air right out of her. Holding her in my arms feels right. The kiss is hot. Our lips meld together in perfect harmony. My body hums with need. She pulls back, out of breath. “Um, wow.” She’s holding her chest smiling. I take it as a good sign, but I’m out of my element. At this point, I would usually sweep her off her feet. Carry her to the bedroom and show her what a generous lover I am. “I hope that was okay,” I say hesitantly. I’m at a loss for words. I stand, waiting as she catches her breath. “Do you want to sit and talk?” I ask even though it’s the last thing on my mind. I still want to come across as a gentleman even though tonight I’m feeling anything but. “Talk…” she repeats before lunging herself

toward me. Her lips press hard against mine, and once again we seem entangled in each other. My arms around her waist press her tight little body against my hard one, and I’m hard all over right now. The kiss is intense. Our tongues lash out hungrily. She’s hot for me and horny as hell. I remember her saying it’s been awhile since she’s had sex and my feisty red-head seems to be a firecracker ready to detonate. I pull her up from her waist and murmur, “Bed…where’s a bed?” I realize she can’t hear me as I press kisses down her neck to her collarbone. I pull my head back. “Can we take this to a bedroom?” She nods, removing her legs from my body and takes me by the hand like she’s on a mission. I follow her into her bedroom. It’s simple with a white bed frame and a blue floral comforter. It’s homey in here too, and seems so Evie. I lift her up in my arms and lay her back on the bed, my hungry eyes raking over every inch of her body. “You smell so good,” she says, and I love how honest and real she is. She isn’t acting like the sex kittens I’m used to. “Can I take off all your clothes?” I ask, but really, I feel like I’m asking her permission to have sex with her. She nods and begins to lift her T-shirt over her head to reveal small pert tits and a lace bra. I start to unbutton my dress shirt, and she licks her lips. My dick is pulsating in my pants as I think

of how good she’s going to feel. “Fuck, you’re hot,” I say, and then I worry about cursing around her. It almost feels wrong. “Come here.” I extend my hand to help her up to me. I thought I wanted her flat on her back, but now I want something else entirely. I want her completely unhinged by lust. She gives me her hand willingly. I seemed to have gained her trust. Will she hate me when she realizes that I like sex dirty? I walk her over to the wall and place each of her palms above her head spread out a couple of feet. I move her red hair to the side of her shoulder and set soft kisses down her neck. Small goosebumps erupt on her milky skin. I can’t be a gentle lover for long. My soft kisses turn into hungry nips as my need to brand her skin grows. I watch her breathing pick up. She doesn’t push me away, so I take it that she’s game. I spin her, so she’s facing me. “Evie, if I do something you don’t like, lift your left hand or tap my shoulder. I don’t want to do something you don’t want,” I repeat to make sure she understands me. She nods her head. “Tell me what I just said,” I say, needing her confirmation. “You want me to lift my left hand if I’m uncomfortable. I’m comfortable. I’m enjoying you.” Her grin is salacious which heats me up even more.

“Spread your legs,” I demand, and she listens. Her willingness to trust me and listen to me makes me so hot because I know she must be out of her element. I slip my hand into her yoga pants and allow two fingers to graze her clit. “You’re soaked.” She looks back at me with heat in her eyes. She doesn’t say a word, but I feel like she’s anticipating my next move. I begin to lower her pants along with a thong she’s wearing, and as I reach her knees, I drop down to my knees and remove her pants from her ankles. She’s breathing hard with anticipation. I slowly run both my hands over her calves and up the back of her thighs. When I reach her slightly rounded ass, I cup it hard then with my right hand give it a loud smack that I know must sting. She lets out a gasp but before she has time to react I slide my finger into her opening from behind. With her palms spread along the wall and with her ass facing me, she looks delectable. I begin to pump my finger. She lets out soft moans and begins to move her hips needing friction. I pull my finger out, and she gasps again. “Please, Colton,” she says but she doesn’t turn her head, so I know she isn’t expecting an answer. I drop to my knees and smack her ass again, hard. I don’t wait for a reaction before I bury my face between her thighs. As my tongue grazes her clit, I feel lost in her. Her taste intoxicating. My tongue is

hungry for her orgasm. I don’t relent as I lap up her juices, running my tongue over her clit. I add a finger to pump her just as hard, and she’s writhing above me. Her fine ass on display, her swollen pussy in my face. I’m close to fucking blowing my load, which is a first for me since I pride myself on my self-control. Only with her, it’s different. My self-control is lost and all I can see, taste and feel is her. “I can’t stand. I’m going to fall. I’m going to come, Colton…I’m…coming.” She falls into her orgasm, and her legs vibrate with the intensity and her need to remain upright. I don’t relent, grazing my tongue while pumping her hard. The view of her pussy is fucking surreal like a fresh swollen peach I can’t get enough of. Her orgasm isn’t loud, but the vibrations racking her body are intense. She grips my shoulders for support, and I place each of my palms on her firm round ass. Holding her up but also keeping her in place. When she comes down from the ecstasy, I release her slowly and look into her heavy-lidded eyes. “Whoa.” She slides down to the floor to catch her breath staring blankly at the space in front of her. She looks very well fucked by my mouth, a look I like too much on her, maybe because I view her as innocent. I quickly remove my trousers and boxers and watch as her eyes sparkle in the dark as she takes in my naked form. She still looks spent, so

I take a seat beside her on the floor. She places her head on my shoulder as we both sit with our backs to the cold wall. I want to give her a moment to calm down when she gets up on her knees and takes my hand in hers. I don’t know what she has in mind, but by the seductive look, she’s giving me I like her train of thought. “Stand,” she says looking into my eyes. I hop up on my two feet, but she stays kneeled in front of me. A small hiss escapes my lips as her mouth moves closer and closer to my cock. I grab her chin and tilt it upwards so that she’s looking at me. “You don’t have to,” I say as my cock pulsates too close to her succulent mouth. She nods her head and presses me with a little force against the wall and before I can breathe another word her warm mouth envelopes my cock. She pulls back with suction and then downs the length of my eight-inch cock. Fucking hell. “Fuck.” I jeer as my head tilts back enjoying her mouth. The way it caresses my length, the way she uses her hands to cup my sac. I’m a fucking goner. I look down as her long red hair swishes back and forth with her movements. I watch as her breasts bounce with the force she uses to suck me down hard and fast. I need to come, and I say it out loud, my mind in a fog when I remember she didn’t hear me. Fuck! I don’t have time to catch her attention as her mouth gives me a long pull, the suction harsh,

her hand pumping me at my base. I begin to come, and she removes her mouth, and I’m scared I’ve completely freaked her out, but then she opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue while continuing to pump me with her hand. I come all over her fucking tongue, and it’s filthy and so erotic. I like to dominate in the bedroom. I’ve held a woman’s hair back while commanding her to do exactly this but never have I ceded control, given the reins over so to speak and felt this way, had such a dirty blow job. When I’ve blown my load, she slows her rhythm down. I give her a hand to help her off her knees. My cum has dripped down her chin. “Evie that was so…” I feel at a loss for words. Her cheeks turn a little red. She can’t be blushing after that. “Good?” she questions. “Hot, dirty, sexy.” My voice is rough. “Where’s your bathroom? Let me clean you up.” She points to the door. “Just on the right. There are towels under the sink.” I give her a soft kiss on her cheek and head for the washroom to clean off my cock and get a warm towel to clean her up. When I return to the bedroom she’s lying flat on her back at the head of the bed her red hair splayed beside her. Her nipples pointing to the ceiling, perfect rose-colored buds that I can’t wait to suckle. I climb the bed on my knees and use the cloth to wipe her face gently. She doesn’t say anything. She just watches me intently. When I’m

done with her face, I put the washcloth on her nightstand and settle in beside her. I lift her arm and pat my chest for her to lie on me. We lie quietly for a few moments both of us fixated on the ceiling. Me hoping that I haven’t scared her off with my sexual prowess. “I have a confession.” Her voice breaks the silence. She shifts up the bed a little so that we are eye level. “You have my attention.” “That was the hottest sexual encounter I’ve ever had.” She bursts into laughter like a school girl. Her laughter is infectious, and I laugh too because she’s too damn cute. “Evie, you’re one hell of a seductress,” I say, and she smiles appreciatively. “I’ve gotta say I didn’t expect you to like sex so filthy dirty.” “I don’t. I don’t know what got into me. It’s you. I was fantasizing about doing that all day. I’ve never had such a dirty fantasy before. It seems like you bring out my dark desires.” At her words, I feel heat flare in my eyes, and it doesn’t take long for the blood to run south to my cock turning me rock solid again. “I fantasized about eating your pussy all day. I didn’t know you would be such a dirty girl.” I admit too, and I watch as her throat bobs. She’s turned on again too. I can see the heat flaring in her eyes, the way her chest rapidly moves with each breath. “You turned on?” I

ask, already knowing the answer. “I don’t know if it was watching you say pussy or calling me a dirty girl but I’m so wet right now I don’t understand it. It can’t be possible.” “It’s possible. Look how my body reacts to you.” I squeeze my throbbing cock in my hand, and it pulsates. She licks her naturally red lips. “You’re driving me crazy.” “The feeling is mutual.” Before we can breathe another word, our lips collide with hot fervor. We devour each other like we are each other’s last meal; like we are the breath we need to survive. I don’t know what’s happening but I’m spiraling, no falling, for this woman. I break the kiss apart, and a loud pop radiates through the room. She gives me an anticipatory look because after a kiss like that nobody is backing away. “Climb on top of me,” I say to her as I lay on my back. She nods and climbs me. We both pause a little wide-eyed. “Condom. Right.” I chide myself for not already having one ready. She’s making me lose my head. I reach down to the floor and pull a condom out of my pocket. Fuck it if it looks presumptuous, we’ve been skating around the electricity between us for weeks. Now that we are together I know she feels it too. She rips the condom out of my hand breaks the wrapper with her teeth and sheathes my cock. I may have

dominated the bedroom before Evie, but I can tell she’s going to give me a run for my money and truth is I like her self-assurance. With my cock sheathed, she places her entrance right above my cock, her eyes glued to mine. It’s intense watching another person so intently during sex. I’m guessing this is her way of communication, reading body language. She begins to ride me slowly at first, then picking up speed. I tilt my hips so that she can rub that sweet clit of hers along my length. Her pussy begins to swell, and her eyes slowly lull shut, I close my eyes too, and just feel the moment, feel her riding me, her pussy hugging me, her wetness sheathing me. I’m lost to her. To the moment. She makes soft sounds as she comes, her body telling me so much more than the sounds leaving her mouth. I allow my release to take over and it spurs her on. She rides me fast and hard, milking mine and her orgasm right to the end. Then I feel her breasts pressed against the skin of my chest. Our bodies are slick with sweat. I run my fingers through her disheveled hair as we fight to catch our breaths. When both our breathing slows she rolls onto the bed beside me. I tap her shoulder so that she looks up to me. “I’ll take care of this.” I run off to the bathroom to get rid of the condom, feeling a sense of loss for leaving her bed. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me or who this man is that feels so

enthralled with a woman but I decide not to overthink it. I’ve had my share of panic attacks, I’ve analyzed my relationship issues like there’s no fucking tomorrow. Right now, I just want to be, and that’s what I do when I head back to bed with Evie. In the past, I would be pulling on my trousers right about now, but in this instance, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay. I want to be here with her. I slip under the covers beside her and pull her into my embrace. “Colton.” Her soft voice breaks the silence in the room again. She lifts her head to look at me. “What’s happening?” she asks, and I know what she’s asking, but I don’t have an answer. This thing between us is intense. Too intense and I’m not running. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. She bites her lip a little too hard. “Colton,” she says again and the way she says my name sounds so sweet. “If we are doing this I need you to promise me that you won’t be with other women.” The minute those words leave her mouth I cringe. I gather she must know about the long trail of women I’ve left behind. But that seems unfathomable when it comes to her. “No other women, Evie. Only you. I only want you,” I say. “Why?” she asks, and I can’t blame her, it’s an honest question, and she wants to protect herself.

“I don’t know. It’s not just a sexual attraction I feel toward you. It’s more.” I pause. “I don’t want to freak you out.” I realize I’m sounding…corny. Very unlike myself. “You aren’t freaking me out. I just don’t sleep around. If we are sleeping together, I need to know we are monogamous.” My phone lights up. It’s a text message. I pick it up and look at the screen. It’s a selfie of Cassy’s tits. Fuck! Fuck! I knew she wouldn’t let things go so easily. Cassy likes to play games. Only I was dead serious when I told her it was over. Evie goes flying off the bed and me. “I can’t do this, Colton.” I swing off the bed after her and take her by the shoulders. “Please listen to me. Yes, me and that woman have a history. She was never my girlfriend, but we had been together for many years off and on. I went to her tonight…” before I can finish my sentence, Evie spins out of my grip and walks briskly over to her closet where she pulls out a robe and puts it on closing it tightly around her body. “Evie, please let me explain.” I get in her face, but she doesn’t want to look at me which means she also doesn’t hear me. She walks out of her bedroom, and I follow her. “Evie. Please.” I tap her shoulder. She’s angry, her lips pursed into a thin line. I can’t say I blame her. “Leave,” she demands.

“Evie please,” I beg as she looks close to tears. “I knew I had no business being with you,” she mutters, and her words feel like a sucker punch to the gut. “If you would let me explain,” I say, but she closes her eyes. Dammit. “Leave,” she repeats. I head back to the bedroom to get my clothes, and all I can think is that I’ve just begun to know her. I can’t lose her. I don’t feel like I’ve fully had her and I want all of her. I want all of her to be mine. I’ve never felt this way before. She can’t expect me to walk away. With my clothes on, I walk back out to the main room in her apartment. She can’t even look at me. I feel like I can’t look at myself. I’ve done this. My past has come back to bite me in the ass. I walk to the door and begin to turn the knob. “You know what? No, fuck this,” I practically shout, but of course she can’t hear me. I stalk over to her sitting in the corner of her couch wrapped in her large robe. I drop to my knees, and I can see that her eyes are watery. Something about her emotion has me entirely undone. “Evie, I need you to look at me.” I take her chin gently in my hand and guide her eyes to mine. “That was Cassandra. I went over to her house tonight before I came over here to tell her that it was over between us. I am so attracted to you that I

wanted to take you to bed tonight and I didn’t want to have any baggage when I did that. I know you aren’t the type of woman to sleep around and I know that if you trusted me tonight, it means something to you. Well, it meant something to me too. I want to be with you. I know I have a colorful past, but it ends here. It ended before I walked through your door tonight. All I ask is that you trust me. That you give us a chance,” I beg as I kneel in front of her. Her eyes have welled with tears. “You ask me to trust you?” She throws my question back in my face. “Do you trust me? Why all these women? Why no relationships?” Fuck. She seems to also call me out on my shit. Not surprised. “Okay.” I nod my head. “I told you the other night about my dad. How I was raised. About my mother leaving. I’ve never shared that with a woman before, but I shared it with you.” “You say it like you’ve done me a favor,” she snaps back. “I don’t mean it like that. I…just…I’m trying to be open with you…for Christ’s sake.” I shake my head because I’m out of my element. I stand to my feet, and her gaze follows me. “What do you want to hear? That I’m messed up? I am. I won’t lie to you, but I want you like I want air. If you’re asking me if I trust you? If I don’t see you as an evil bitch?” I snap, and a sad chortle escapes my lips. “That’s right, Evie, that’s how I viewed women as

these selfish creatures who did what was good for them. I’ve spent most of my adult life in therapy. I was happy with how my life was going until I saw you. You wanted the truth, is that raw enough for you?” My voice was raised, and I felt myself shaking as she watched me, assessing my movements, her gaze trained on my lips. “I don’t want to upset you, Colton.” She gets up from the couch. “I’m scared. What I feel for you is so intense. It’s too soon. I shouldn’t feel this way so soon,” she admits. “I have a son. I can’t lose myself in you, and tonight I was lost in you.” I close the space between us and take her in my arms hugging her fiercely. Then I pull my head back to gain eye contact. “I know I’m asking a lot, but have some faith in me.” She nods her head. “I want to. But I need you to give me that same faith. I need you not to see me like you saw her, your mother. The way you’ve been treating women all your life is a cause for concern.” “I know, and I can’t explain it, but I see you differently. I want to change… I believe I already have. When I heard you speak about Carter with such conviction the other night it did something to my insides. You sparked hope inside me, but it’s more than that. It’s you. Tell me I haven’t fucked up. That you’ll give me a chance. You don’t realize this, Evie, but I’m enthralled with you.” I pause

needing to catch my breath while realizing that all this talking must be hard on her. Her eyes have been glued to my lips, and I wonder if maybe I’m not the right guy for her, not only because we have a harder time with communication than other couples, but because she’s too damn good for me. She worries her bottom lip while watching me and I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what’s happened to me. If it’s years of therapy that have just clicked into place or if it’s her, but something is happening and I can’t…no…I won’t walk out that door and never see her again. “Say something.”

Chapter Seventeen Evie He’s waiting for me to say something and I don’t know what to say. I’ve gotten onto a roller coaster ride that is Colton Mathis and as good as it feels to be with him, I’m not sure I’m cut out for a relationship with him. He’s the freaking Governor of Illinois; he’s the city’s most renowned playboy, and he’s got a ton of baggage. He’s smart, handsome, sophisticated. He may be running to be the next president of our country, and I’m not cut out for that life. I’m drained by just watching him speak his confession to me tonight. I wasn’t expecting the words that fell from his mouth. He seems to not hide anything from me, and it’s endearing and dammit if I don’t want to be the woman to tame him but can I be her? I have so many doubts crashing through my mind that my head is spinning and yet when I look into the depths of his pleading blue eyes, only one word leaves my mouth. “Okay.” His eyes turn wide like a frightened boy. “Okay? As in yes, you’ll give us a chance?”

I inhale deeply and take the plunge of my life. “Yes, I’ll give us a chance.” His shoulders deflate and then still knelt in front of me, he wraps his arms around my torso, and I can’t help myself. My emotions turn into the Silly Putty Carter plays with, and I can’t help but feel for this broken man and realize that although I don’t spend my time sleeping around, I still have the same trust issues he does. I haven’t had any long-term relationships. I don’t count Jake because he’s a friend and he’s had problems of his own. I haven’t given the men I’ve dated a fighting chance because I’m scared of them leaving with my heart stomped all over the sidewalk when they do. The problem is, it seems like my heart doesn’t have a fighting chance where Colton is concerned. I run my fingers through his dark hair enjoying the soft feel of his strands as he pours his emotion into me. He finally breaks the hug and looks up at me, a crooked smile on his lips. “I’d like to stay over tonight…I mean if you’ll have me.” I smile warmly at him. “I’d like that.” He stands up from the floor and points his finger at me. “I mean for sleep. I have a meeting in the morning.” My eyes glare with mischief. “Of course, for sleep.” I wink and take his hand leading him to the bedroom. We don’t fall asleep right away.

*** I was jostled awake by movement beside me. It took me a few moments to realize what was happening. Colton was having a nightmare, his lips were moving, but I couldn’t tell what he was muttering in the dark. He seemed distressed, so I tried to shake him awake. “Colton.” I tap his shoulders, but the nightmare was sucking him in deep. I sit up on the bed and nudge him further, trying to project my voice louder. It was hard to tell how loud I was being. He finally opens his eyes, but he looks disoriented. I try to comfort him until he is fully awake. “You were having a nightmare.” His chest moves up and down, and he pushes himself up holding his pillow staring at the space in front of him with a distraught look. “What is it? What did you dream?” He turns his head to look at me, and I inch a little closer. “I haven’t had that dream in a long time,” he responds, looking out of breath. I notice he is sweating. He remains quiet, and I don’t want to push, not after he shared so much with me tonight. The way he spoke about women was unsettling, but on a closer look, I realized it was his view of his mother, and not women in general that he was projecting. He was dealing with a lot of anger and hurt, but I didn’t think he would hurt me,

at least not physically. Emotionally, I wasn’t so sure. “It was just a dream.” I want to console him, place my arms around him and make him feel safe like I do with Carter when he’s had a bad dream, only I hold back watching his face to see if he would say something. In the dark, it would be hard to read his lips. As if reading my thoughts, he reaches over for the lamp on the nightstand and turns it on. He takes his right hand in his left and rubs at his palm a little. “When I was five, I was in a fire.” He paused looking at me while rubbing his hand. My stomach sinks as he continues to speak. “It was the middle of the night. It was dark. I remember reaching out.” He stops and shakes his head. “Truth is, I don’t remember much. Just the heat, the smoke in the house, I reached for a doorknob and burned my hand.” He stopped to show me the rough skin marked on the palm of his left hand. “ “That must have been so traumatic. You were so young.” A shiver rolls through my body as I think of Colton as a young boy, terrified. He looks at me thoughtfully. “I don’t remember much, but yeah. It was pretty terrifying.” He stops speaking, and I can see that he’s gritting his jaw. “What are you thinking?” “Nothing,” he shrugs. “No,” he shakes his head. “I saw her…my mom in the dream. She was

screaming. Yelling something…I don’t know what. Then I reached for my stuffed bear, and he was gone. Disappeared from my hands into thin air. It’s just so strange. I’ve never seen that part of the dream before. Or at least I never remembered it that way. I don’t know what it means.” “Do you have pictures of your mom?” I ask, thinking maybe the dream was brought on by something he saw. “No, everything we had was burned in the fire. My mom was gone after that. My father said the fire was a near-death experience and made her realize that she didn’t want to live her life stuck in Chicago. She wanted to run off to California to become an actress or something.” “Did she ever try to contact you?” “No.” He shakes his head and the hurt seeping through his pores is so obvious to me. I knew the feeling of waiting. I always thought my mom would come back to me like she promised, only she never did. A part of me still hopes that she’s out there and thinking of me. That she will one day stop by just to see what my life has become without her. “I’m sorry,” I reach to hug his midriff. Enjoying the warmth of his skin, his touch. He makes the loneliness in my heart fade away as he runs his fingers through my hair. His touch gentle and comforting even though I feel like it should be me comforting him and not vice versa. Suddenly, I’m

struck by a damning thought and my adrenaline spikes. I was up and out of bed before I could even think twice running into the family room to pick up a photo of me, Jake, and Carter at Myrtle Beach two years ago. Jake is shirtless in the photo. And that’s when I see it, his scar… Colton’s hand on my shoulder makes me jump, and I drop the picture in my hand. It lands on my foot, and I cringe from the pain, but lucky the frame didn’t crack. I place it back on the mantle. “Sorry to startle you. Everything okay?” Colton asks his gaze etched with concern. I force a smile. “Yes, we should get to bed, or my students are going to have a very cranky teacher tomorrow in class.” His smile is warm as he stares back at me, those blue eyes making me feel like I’m floating in them. “Sleep does sound good. Will you let me hold you?” “I’d like that.” He takes my hand and leads me back to the bedroom where we both get into bed. My back is resting against his front while his arm is draped over me. Within minutes I feel his breath slow, and I turn my head to see that he’s asleep. Only I can’t sleep at all because I need to speak to Jake. I need answers.

Chapter Eighteen Evie I overslept, and now I’m driving down the street like a bat out of hell. It seems to be a common theme for me since I’ve met Colton. The car in front of me slams their brakes even though the light just turned orange. Dammit. My coffee which is sitting in the middle console of my car spills over onto the carpet. Luckily the students’ assignments are sitting on the passenger seat. At the red light, I quickly check my phone to see that I missed a text from Carter saying, ‘Mommy I love you. Have a good day.’ When the light turns green, I press the gas pedal. I’m worn out this morning obviously, I mean after the night I shared with Colton how could I not be? I don’t even remember falling asleep at the crack of dawn but I woke up enveloped in Colton’s warmth, and it was heavenly. If his morning erection weren’t so inviting, I would be on time right now and not racing against the clock. School starts in five minutes, and I pride myself on being on time, but more than anything I’m hoping to catch Jake before class. I want to ask

him a few questions that have formed in my mind since last night. Like why he thinks his scar is from a bike accident when it’s clearly a burn. I believe Jake has always been honest with me so either he doesn’t remember how he got the scar or he’s lying. I hope it’s the former. Now I won’t be able to ask him until lunchtime which only heightens my anxiety. I don’t know why the reason for his scar suddenly bothers me so much, other than the fact that it’s odd for such a young child to have a scar that looks like the one Jake has. I pull into my parking spot at school and grab my half-empty bag. At least I was all caught up on my grading. I rush down the halls feeling my heels clacking against the floors. I don’t have to but I like to dress professionally for my job, and I love high heel shoes; maybe because I never had a mom whose shoes I could play with like some of my friends at school. I get to my class just as the clock strikes five to nine. Phew! I made it. Flopping my bag on my desk and placing my half-empty mug of coffee beside it, I blow out a breath and straighten out my blouse before addressing my students. I rarely use my voice here at school. Except when I’m speaking to the principal who is hearing although she tends to sign and talk at the same time. I’m blessed with excellent students who are eager to learn except for one boy. He’s new to the

school. He developed an illness that’s causing him to go deaf. His parents felt it would be better to start him in a deaf school before he completely loses his hearing so he can learn to sign and become part of a community. Only he isn’t accepting his fate. I don’t blame him. I remember when I lost my hearing, I remember how my world turned silent. It took a long while to get used to the quiet world I now live in. It sure didn’t help that my mother never wanted to learn how to sign. She tried a little and would get frustrated and would just speak to me. I remember trying to keep up with her at first. I couldn’t. It was a losing battle. The first part of the morning flies by in a whirlwind. I spend some time over recess speaking with my new student while trying to introduce him to some school activities which I hope he will participate in so he can make some friends. He’s very closed down though so I don’t know that I’ve helped all that much. By lunchtime, I’m sitting on pins and needles anxiously waiting to see Jake. I’m making my way to the physical education office as fast as my heels will take me but when I arrive at Jake’s office, it’s empty. Lucky, I slipped my cell into the back of my skirt. I pull it out and shoot him a text asking where he is. I wait a moment and realize Colton sent me a text this morning.

Evie, I had a great time last night. Dinner tonight? Don’t tell me you’re busy. I can bring whatever for Carter. His offer for dinner sounds nice, and the fact that he’s thinking of Carter warms my heart, but he’s brought us dinner twice already. I feel the need to cook for him. I’m not much of a cook, but I learned a few meals from Jake’s mom. Dinner sounds nice. Come on over. Carter will be happy. I’m cooking tonight. Your fate rests in my hands. I like the sound of that. See you later. I smile to myself. A moment later a text message comes in from Jake. I’m with Mom at the deli around the corner. Come have lunch with us. Shit! He’s with his mom. I don’t feel as comfortable asking questions around her. Okay on my way. I head back to my classroom at a fast pace and change into a flat pair of shoes so I can make the walk. Chicago parking can be so tenuous this time of day. Within five minutes I’m at the deli. The place is crowded with regulars and students from the school. Jake waves me down and signs that he ordered my favorite turkey club sandwich. Veronica stands up to kiss me. We make small talk as we all

sit down to enjoy our lunch. Veronica tells us about California. How she got sick of trying out for different roles. She also mentions she just broke up with a boyfriend. An actor who had a few good runs as a guest on some popular shows. I know who she’s talking about. He’s very handsome. “So that’s it. I said to myself it’s time to spend some time with family,” she signs then places each of her hands over mine and Jake’s and gives a loving squeeze. “We are happy you’re here.” I smile even though I’m waiting to get Jake alone even for a few minutes. The waitress walks by and asks if we would like a refill on our coffees. “Yes, please.” Veronica is the only one to accept. She loves coffee. I usually just drink my one cup in the morning to wake up, although today I opted for a second because after my workout with Colton last night I need help keeping my eyes open. I wait painstakingly hoping Veronica needs to leave or use the ladies room, but that doesn’t happen. She remains in her seat all through lunch. When the waiter finally brings the bill to the table, Jake offers to pay. I’m hoping to get Jake alone, but suddenly I relent thinking maybe it is better to ask Veronica about the scar. I mean Jake has been clearly misinformed so she would be the one who would know the truth…I know my mind is running ahead of itself, probably from all the James Patterson

mysteries I’ve been reading lately. As Jake gets up, Veronica gives me a warm smile, and I can’t bring myself to ask. It would be disrespectful of me. This woman has treated me like a daughter since the day Jake brought me home after school for the first time. She wouldn’t be lying, and my questions seem accusatory. “So how are things going with the governor?” she signs while moving her lips. “Good,” I speak and sign too. “Just good?” she signs and waits for me to answer. I guess my goofy grin gives me away. “Very good,” I sign. “I can see that,” she answers and takes a long draw from her coffee cup. She still seems on edge. Crap. She places the mug back on the table. “Do you think it’s a good idea, Evie? I mean, he is a public figure, and I know you. You hate attention,” she says, and it’s true I hate attention. I guess Colton has caught on, and that’s why most of our dates have happened in my apartment where I feel safe. Where I have control. I feel the need to drive the conversation in a different direction since I still don’t have Veronica’s support. I hate that she doesn’t support my relationship with Colton, but it won’t change anything anyway. Even yesterday I met my friend Becca for lunch, she’s deaf and teaches music at school. She used the same cautionary words that Jake had for me. I don’t

know why they can’t just be happy for me because I am delighted. After last night, Colton and I are in a good place. He trusts me. We are growing closer. I love spending time with him, and the chemistry between us is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. “All paid.” Jake returns to the table and signs his words. “I can walk back to school with you,” he looks to me and signs. Then he turns to his mom. “I’ll see you at home later.” “Yes, it was good having lunch with you two.” She smiles warmly while signing to us. Jake is not big on reading lips. It feels like old times. “Nice seeing you too.” Jake takes my hand and leads me outside. When we get out to the sidewalk, I have to shield my eyes from the bright sun. As we walk, I catch his attention then ask, “How did you get that scar on your left shoulder?” His brows furrow together wondering why I’d ask him such a silly question out of the blue. “I told you how. I fell off my bike when I was five. I was riding fast, and the road scraped my skin off,” he answers, and yes, I’ve heard that story before, and I don’t sense that he’s lying to me at all. “Do you remember falling off the bike?” I ask with my hands. If he isn’t lying, then something is off. His response is a concerned look. “No, I don’t remember. Mom told me, why?” My stomach sinks at the thought that Veronica

made that story up. “Because your scar looks like a burn mark,” I respond, knowing full well I’m not a doctor or any type of professional to make that conclusion. I only go by what I see, and the bumpy skin on his shoulder resembles the burn scar on the palm of Colton’s hand. Carter fell off his bike many times when Jake was teaching him how to ride on two wheels, and none of his scars look anything like the one Jake has on his shoulder. Also, a shoulder is an odd part of the body to hurt on a bike. “A burn mark?” he asks, and I take in the flabbergasted look on his face. “Evie, what on earth is going on with you?” “Nothing.” I try to shrug it off because I’ve apparently made him think I’m losing my marbles. “Evie, you’ve been off all week. Does this have to do with the governor?” “No.” I shake my head. “Well, maybe I don’t know…he has a burn mark on the palm of his hand that looks a lot like your scar. Carter has fallen off his bike more times than we can count. Do any of his scrapes and bruises ever look like what you have on your shoulder?” I ask motioning with my hands. He pulls his gaze from me and stares straight ahead. His warm chocolate brown eyes considering my words. Then he motions. “You have a point. I never did question Mom,” he says, and then he

looks back at me like he doesn’t know me. “Do you think my mother lied to me?” As soon as he asks the question my stomach sinks. I don’t want to make him doubt the only family he has. Shit. Now I feel bad. “No, No, just forget it. I swear. I’m watching too many investigative shows. I don’t know what’s got into me,” I sign. He nods his head as if he’s accepting my answer only I can see the questions rolling in his mind and it’s too late. I’ve opened up that can of worms.

Chapter Nineteen Colton “We need to meet with your new team.” My father walks into my office once again disturbing my good mood. “Dad, we need to talk.” My tone is somber and serious. “What is it Colt?” He takes a seat across from me. It seems his confrontational mood these past few days has passed or maybe he realizes he’s pushed me too hard and I want out. He knows me like the back of his hand so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s option two. “I don’t want to announce my candidacy next week.” I blow out a breath. “I know,” he answers. Okay, that explains his change of tactic. He knows I want out. “You know?” I still ask with surprise. “Yes, Colt. You’ve been acting off all week. First brushing off Bachmaker’s niece then chasing that deaf girl. I got the message loud and clear. Only I think you’re making a big mistake,” he says, and his tone isn’t condescending or overpowering.

He just sounds defeated. “You’re the right guy for the job, your ratings as governor are way higher than your opponent’s. If you run, you have a real chance at winning. If that’s not what you want then what can I do? I tried my best.” He blows out a heavy sigh. Only I know he isn’t letting me drop out of the race so easily. He has something up his sleeve. Just like he knows me like the back of his hand, I know him. My father doesn’t give up. “Good. Thanks, Dad.” I smile, letting him believe that I think I’m off the hook. My father gets ready to stand up when I stop him. “Can you wait a minute? I wanted to ask you something.” His dark brows furrow while he sits back in the chair giving me his full attention. “What is it?” My father hates speaking about anything that has to do with the past which means any talk of the fire or my mother is off the table in a hard limit kind of way. “I dreamt about the fire last night,” I say, and it takes a moment for my words to process. I haven’t mentioned anything about the fire for at least a decade. The last time being when I started therapy and my therapist thought it was a good idea to ask Dad some questions. Only Dad had a way of always brushing my questions off without answering them. “Really? I’m surprised you still think of it. It was a lifetime ago.” He moves to get up from his seat.

“I’m not finished. Wait a minute.” I stand from behind my desk and walk over to my father. “My mother was in my dream last night,” I say. Although I’m not sure, it was her. All our pictures were burnt in the fire, so I only guess she’s my mother by my very faded memory. His jaw tightens. It usually does at the mention of her. I can’t blame him though. She took off and never looked back. “I’m sorry that still bothers you, Colt.” He places his heavy hand on my shoulder. “Try to push it out of your thoughts.” He turns to leave. “I’m not done speaking. I have some questions for you,” I persist and in my mind, one of those questions is why do you want to run out of here like the place is on fire the minute I bring it up? His lips press together. “What do you want to know?” “You told me Mom wasn’t home the night of the fire. So why would I dream about her being there? She was screaming in my dream. There was smoke everywhere. I tried to reach for the door, but it was hot.” I pause feeling queasy just remembering the dream. My chest feels tight at the thought of the smoke-filled room. The dream feels more like a memory. I lift my hand to remind my father of my burned skin. “It’s not only a dream, Father. The skin on my hand is burned. That must have happened.”

He turns away from me and stalks over to a brown leather armchair at the corner of the room then almost falls back into it. I’m a few steps behind him, and I take a seat in the brown leather armchair across from him. “I have a right to know,” I say softly. The burden of not remembering or of only remembering tidbits has sat heavy on my shoulders most of my life. My father looks at me softly, but I sense fear in his gaze. “Your mom was home the night of the fire, Colt. She and I got into a fight, and she left. She didn’t look back. Is that what you wanted to hear?” His deep voice cracks with emotion. “I hated that for you, boy. I hated that she left and didn’t look back. I knew it would do bad things to your mind, so I did my best. I tried to fill any void you might feel, and you were such a bright young boy. You always had this special air about you, Colt. Even when you were five, I knew you were destined for great things and here you are. A survivor, a good man. The right man to run this great country.” My father’s voice trails off. Of course, he would use this moment to sell me on the presidency. “I thought you understood me. I don’t know what I want, Father. I just don’t know.” I feel more lost now than I did at the start of the conversation.

My mom was there the night of the fire. She wanted me out of the house so I wouldn’t get hurt but why did she leave before the paramedics arrived and she knew I was okay? What kind of woman leaves her five-year-old son behind after such a traumatic night? I knew I wasn’t getting those answers today. Maybe never. “It’s the weekend. Take some time to think about it. I know you’ll come to your senses.” My father patted my thigh, and with those last words he stood up and left my office. *** “Sir.” Susan stood at my office door looking at me with a grim expression. I was pretty sure she overheard the conversation I had earlier in the day with my father. She knew about the fire, about my past. She asked me about the burn on my hand the first month she worked for me, and I had told her the truth. I didn’t have trust in women, but Susan was one of a kind. “Come in.” I wave her in, and she takes the seat in front of my desk. “May I be candid?” she asks. She always asked. She always made it clear when she was in my office for official governor business or a personal issue. “Yes,” I smirk. “Although you may have to start charging me for being my therapist too.” It was a

joke, but Susan pressed her lips together and gave me a scolding look. “Sir, you’ve been happy these last few weeks,” she began, and I couldn’t disagree. Getting to know Evie had made me feel fulfilled on a level I didn’t know existed. “Yes,” I confirm but wait to see where she was going with the conversation. Her talks always had a purpose or a lesson. “We both know you are on the fence about running for the office of president. Your father is a good man,” she continues, even though I sensed she didn’t like him much. I guess this was Susan being politically correct so to speak. “But he wants you to run for selfish reasons,” she continues. We both know she is right. “Here’s the thing, Sir. There comes a time in our lives when we are at a crossroads. Something big is happening…we either take the road we’re used to because there is comfort in the familiar even though it may not be the best option for us or we take the road never traveled. It’s scary, new…but we may discover a whole new path on that road. A path that suits our lives much more than the comfort of the old way. Me…I chose to leave my husband. It wasn’t an easy choice. I had to work harder, worry for my boys on my own but at the end of the day, me and my boys are better off. Had I stayed, my boys would have witnessed very unhealthy things, it

would have corrupted their little minds and maybe influenced them to similar behaviors. I put an end to that, and my boys are grown, stable men. Do you see what I’m saying, Sir?” I tap my chin. Old habits are hard to break especially when those habits formed around a parent. Susan was right. I just didn’t know if I had it in me to take the road less traveled. “I understand Susan. Thank you,” I smile warmly. Susan gives me her thin, crooked smile the one that said, ‘I worry for this boy, are my words sinking in?’ I had no answers for Susan. “Okay, you have yourself a goodnight, Sir,” and with those words, she left my office. Food for thought.

Chapter Twenty Evie It’s Friday afternoon, and my fridge is close to empty, so I make a quick stop at the supermarket to get all the ingredients I need to make Colton a nice dinner. When I’m finished at the supermarket, I pick Carter up from his afterschool program. Fridays they usually run a sports activity which is perfect for my very active ten-year-old son. Carter helps me bring all the groceries into the house then hangs out with me in the kitchen while I prepare dinner. While I’m rinsing the shrimp, and cutting up potatoes and carrots, I can’t help but think of my conversation with Jake today. I planted suspicion in his mind about his mother. On the one hand, I feel bad, but on the other, I want to know why she’s lying to her son. My phone lights up on the counter. It’s a text from Veronica. Can I take Carter to see the new Transformer movie tomorrow? I smile then wash my hands so I can type back. I’m thrilled she’s in town. I’m grateful that Carter has more family to love him so close to home. Growing up the way I did makes me cherish those

moments. I sure don’t want to cause trouble between Jake and his mom. He would love that. Let me know what time. Great! Have a good night. You too! I place my phone down and prepare the seasoning for the chili lime steak I’m cooking for the main course. I hope Colton will like it. Carter is a huge fan of red meat. If I fed him steak seven days a week, he’d be in heaven. A couple of hours later I’ve showered and so has Carter. I made him put on some clean clothes for our dinner date with Colton. He didn’t give me any trouble either which tells me that Colton has won him over in the brief time he’s known him. When the red light flashes indicating we have a guest, the butterflies begin to dance happily in my belly. I open the door to Colton holding a bunch of red long stem roses in his hand. I don’t know why but seeing the red roses makes me think of erotic or forbidden things. Or maybe it’s just Colton. He brings out a sexy side of me I didn’t know existed. There won’t be any sexy times tonight. Not with Carter home. “Hey.” Colton’s smile is wide. His blue eyes show warmth as they briefly rake up and down my body. I put on a black slim fitting cotton dress that hits just above my knee. It’s sexy but casual. My hair is still a little wet and lays in long strands over

my shoulder. He leans in to kiss me on my cheek. When he pulls back, I can only guess what he thinks because his blue eyes are smoldering. “These are for you.” He passes me the roses. “You look hot,” he winks. I turn my head to see Carter coming down the hall to greet Colton. They give each other a high five, and I wave for Colton to come in. He and Carter seem to be chatting. So I head to the kitchen to put the roses in water and a vase. One of the thorns pricks my finger reminding me that even such a beautiful flower can cause pain too. For some reason, I look over my shoulder to watch Carter and Colton speaking animatedly. Colton is so handsome, but like the roses, I have to be aware of his thorns. He’s not only the governor. He’s a man with a lot of personal issues. Until now, our relationship has occurred behind closed doors and yet he’s a very public man. If I were to date him, I would have to be out in the public eye. I would hate it. I like my privacy. After settling the roses onto the kitchen table, I place the already basted steaks to broil in the oven and take the bottle of Merlot I picked up at the supermarket out of the fridge. I didn’t know if he liked wine or some other alcohol, but I figured Merlot would pair well with the steak. With two glasses in hand and the bottle of wine, I go to the family room where Carter has Colton playing a game on his Xbox.

I sit on the couch behind them and place the two wine glasses the bottle and bottle opener on the coffee table. I am content to just watch them. Until it was game over and Colton turns his attention to me. “Would you like some wine?” I ask. I don’t know why but he still makes me feel nervous even after all the sex we had. A part of me can’t believe that this moment is real. That he is here. That he broke up with his lover to be with me. That he wants to try a relationship. I need to pinch myself. “If you’re having, I’ll have with you,” he answers with a small grin. I can’t help the way that little grin makes my stomach flip in that delicious way. “I’m having. I usually drink wine Friday nights. I need to unwind after a long week.” His eyes drop to my legs then his gaze returns to my eyes. The heat in his stare is unsettling, it is intense, like an inferno waiting to singe every part of me. I need to cool things down. Especially with my son here. “Let me.” He takes the bottle and the opener and I watch as the veins in his strong hands pop as he works to uncork it. He goes to pour the liquid in one of the glasses and passes it to me. Then he pours some for himself. “To new beginnings,” he smiles before taking a small sip. My mouth is watering and the wine hasn’t even touched my lips

yet. I want to pinch myself because this level of attraction is something you read about in a romance novel. It isn’t something experienced by a single mom and teacher. My life is, well, boring. Colton takes a seat beside me on the couch, his hand lightly brushing up against mine as we quietly watch my son finish up his Xbox game. When Carter finishes his game, we all go to the kitchen. I had already set up the Thai red curry shrimp on the table. “Carter, you like shrimp?” Colton asks, and I register the surprised look on his face. “My dad is a foodie. He likes me to try a lot of different foods. It isn’t my favorite, but it’s okay.” Carter shrugs as he pops a shrimp in his mouth. “A foodie, huh?” Colton repeats with a wry smile following my son’s motion of popping a shrimp in his mouth. “Good.” Colton nods as he chews. “Wait until you taste Mom’s steak. She makes the best steaks. By the time you leave here you’ll be a foodie too,” Carter says and Colton gives me a warm look before tilting his head back laughing. “I think all sons like their mom’s cooking. I don’t think there is anything special about my steaks,” I answer Carter by speaking but also by signing. I notice how Colton watches us intently. “I’ll be the judge of that.” Colton winks down to Carter.

I get up from the table and pull the steak and roasted vegetables out of the oven. Then I place a steak on each of our plates followed by the potatoes and carrots. “It looks delicious.” Colton grins while looking up at me to make sure I see what he said. I wonder if he feels odd having to make sure I understand him speaking all the time. We all eat quietly since signing and eating don’t go hand in hand, literally. Colton is talking to Carter, but I don’t entirely follow the conversation because I’m partially looking down at my plate when I take a new bite. It seems they’re talking baseball. “Mom,” Carter signs. Then he asks me if Colton can take him to a baseball game tomorrow afternoon. I nearly choke on my bite of steak. I don’t know that I’m ready for Carter to spend so much time with Colton. “I told Grandma she could take you to the new Transformer movie. She’ll be disappointed.” “Mom! Seriously. Colton has front row seats for the White Sox vs Cubs. That’s like epic. Who cares about a silly transformer movie.” Colton looks at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, I should have asked you first before offering,” he says between bites. “And since I have your attention this steak is delicious. I’m walking out of here a foodie. In fact, I may be addicted to your

cooking.” He winks placing another bite in his mouth. “Thank you, and it’s fine, I mean you wouldn’t have known that I made plans for him already.” I brush it off. “Let me speak to Jake’s mom and see if we can switch Carter’s plans for Sunday.” Great. Veronica is giving me a hard time about Colton as it is. How am I going to explain that Carter wants to spend time with him too? And I can only imagine Jake’s response as well. “I want you to join us at the ball game too,” Colton says looking directly at me. I know he can’t control the color of his eyes but at this moment, they are a piercing blue, and as he looks directly at me it feels like his penetrating gaze causes my heart to skip a beat. Damn him and his good looks. It makes it hard to deny him, but I have to. “Oh…I…” My nerves bubbled to the surface. I’d be seen in public with the governor. I couldn’t help but think of all the headlines speculating numerous short-term relationships. I didn’t want to be another notch on his belt. What would the reporters write about the fact that I was a single mom? I wasn’t ready for that kind of exposure. Carter places his fork on his plate. He polished off his steak. “May I be excused? I told Andrew I’d text him about my new Lego set.” I nod. “Yes, go ahead.” Carter walks away, and I wait for Colton to

comment on the fearful look that came over me when he mentioned the ball game. Colton places his hand on mine. “Don’t shut down on me. I think after last night we should be able to talk about anything.” His eyes are filled with concern. He has every right to worry because he wants to date a woman who becomes panicky at the thought of going into public with him. It was probably a first for him. I shake my head. “I’m sorry. If we go out in public together, I become a media target. I’ve read the gossip columns, Colton. The people of Illinois are very interested in your private life. I don’t want mine and Carter’s life to be on public display.” Colton takes my hand and pushes his chair back then pats his lap for me to take a seat on him. I stand and slide into his lap. Our faces are close. “I get it. I do.” He smiles, but I sense his worry. “Most women I’ve dated liked the attention. This is new to me. Forgive me if my reaction is off. I guess I’m used to the media following me. It’s my normal. Even though I don’t like it much either.” With his hand wrapped around my waist, I feel heated being this close to him. I rest my arm on his shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. I love spending time with you. I truly do. I just…” my voice trails off. This issue has been eating away at me for some time now.

Colton’s eyes crease at the corners. “I don’t want to push you. This is new for both of us. My situation can be overwhelming. Don’t come to the game tomorrow. Let’s keep things private for now. Behind closed doors. Let’s navigate us. Don’t give up. Just please let me take Carter tomorrow. I don’t want to disappoint him.” The way he asks to take my son has me undone. This thoughtful, painfully handsome man who so happens to also be the governor of freaking Illinois is asking me to have a secret relationship with him. He doesn’t want to disappoint my son. I can only imagine he is thinking about the many times he was disappointed in his childhood. It warms my heart that he cares this much. It makes me feel all kinds of things that are scaring the wits out of me. I sure as hell can’t deny him, not now, not ever with those gorgeous blue eyes of his pleading with me. “Carter will be ecstatic to go with you,” I respond, feeling like I’m holding my breath getting ready to dive into the deep end of a pool unsure if I know how to swim. “Good.” He leans in to give me a chaste kiss on the lips. “And don’t worry, I have security with me in public places at all times. As long as a particular cream pie throwing bandit isn’t around, we’re safe.” He bursts into laughter. It’s infectious. I throw my napkin at him. “I’m feeling great about us,” he says, and his eyes drop to my lips

then lower to my breasts. “Carter is with his dad tomorrow night. Right?” he asks, looking back up at me and I can only imagine what dirty thoughts he’s having about tomorrow night because I bet my thoughts are just as dirty. “Yes,” I answer a little breathless. The wicked gleam he has in his eyes has me curious. “Good. I want to take you somewhere…for the night. If you aren’t willing to be seen with me in public then I at least want to spend some time with you outside this apartment,” he says, waiting for my response. By his mischievous glare, I can only imagine that he’s planning something big. “Well, now I’m curious.” I scrunch my lips together. “Good. Is that a yes?” he asks. I try to stay focused on his lips which at times is hard especially when his light blue eyes are electrified like they are now. “That’s a yes.” I press my lips to his briefly then pull away worried about Carter coming back into the kitchen. I wouldn’t hear him if he were approaching. I slide off Colton’s lap and begin to clear the table, my head fuzzy and my heart warm. I don’t remember having this feeling about anyone I’ve dated before, though at times I wished to have had those feelings for Jake because it would have made my son’s life a lot easier if both his parents lived

together. Colton taps my shoulder. “Mind if I hang out with you guys tonight?” I’m smiling like a schoolgirl. “We’d love that.” “Maybe you and Carter can start teaching me to sign,” he suggests, and I want to hate him right now for making me fall so hard for him. Why had I thought we wouldn’t be right for each other? I can’t even remember my original list. “That sounds like a plan.” I continued to clean up the dishes. Colton was right beside me, drying dishes and asking where everything went. In between, he swatted my ass, and I couldn’t help the heat or the promise that his hand connecting to my behind did to my body. The rest of the evening, the three of us hung out on the couch while Carter taught Colton some of the basics of ASL. Everything was as perfect as perfect could be. Too bad life was filled with ups and downs.

Chapter Twenty-One Evie The next morning, I was getting Carter ready for the ball game with Colton. I texted Veronica last night that Carter wouldn’t make it for the movie. She was disappointed, but her mood seemed to brighten a bit when I offered to meet her for coffee this afternoon. At around noon, Colton arrived to pick up Carter. My son’s eyes bugged out of his head when he saw the black town car waiting for him at our doorstep. “You’re like famous aren’t you, Colton?” my son asked. Colton shrugged. “I guess that’s one way of looking at it.” Carter waved him off. “Don’t worry; I won’t hold it against you.” I felt a little embarrassed by my son’s words, but Colton thought he was hysterical as he broke into a full out laugh. I also couldn’t keep my eyes off him in the blue jeans that hugged his behind or the plain T-shirt that showed off his very muscular arms. I

was kicking myself for not going. I was missing out on an afternoon of Colton Mathis eye candy. “You have fun,” I said, hoping they could hear me as they entered the Town Car. They both turned to wave at me. Colton said he was taking Carter for lunch before the game. He said it was a perfect place for a foodie. I guess I’d hear all about it when my son came home later on. With the house all to myself, I took some time to tidy up and change the bed sheets. By one o’clock I was ready to leave the house to meet Veronica. I had a lot of questions for her and this time I promised myself I wouldn’t hold back. Growing up I had lots of questions for Grandpa Jack about my father who I barely knew and about my mother too. My father was an engineering student when he met my mother. They dated for a while, and she got pregnant. My father was all about doing the right thing, so he married her. I came along, and things were tense between them. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mom, and my dad convinced her not to have an abortion. My dad got sick and died, and my mom was left with a kid she never really wanted. I think my deafness just made her role all the more difficult. I sometimes wondered if Grandpa Jack wasn’t a little biased against my mother because he didn’t think highly of her. Those are answers I’ll never have. Maybe that’s

why I’m digging for information for Jake. He should know the truth about his parents and his past. I received a message from Jake last night expressing his displeasure with me allowing Carter to go to the ball game with Colton. He’s worried about Carter getting too attached to Colton when things aren’t serious between us. When I told him things were serious, that we were in a committed relationship, he backed off, although I still sensed his displeasure. I step out of the Uber along the curb at one of the posh coffee places in The Loop. Veronica is already here waiting for me outside. She waves to me. I walk up to her and embrace her in a hug. When we pull away from each other, she signs how happy she is to see me. “I’m glad you’re here too. I’m sorry about today, but Carter was so excited about the baseball game.” “Not a big deal at all. I know how much he loves baseball. Although I thought baseball was something he did with Jake,” she says, and it feels a little like a dig. Her unease about Colton saddens me. I wonder if this is her way of staking a territorial claim for her son. Baseball has always been something Jake and Carter have bonded with over the years. “It’s just one game. It doesn’t mean he won’t want to go to baseball games with Jake,” I retort as

we walk into the coffee shop. The smell of fresh pastries assaults my senses and my stomach grumbles. There’s a long line of course. There usually is here. I guess it’s worth the wait for one of their biscotti or maybe I should have a warm croissant. “Yes, but Jake doesn’t go on a field to pitch a ball or get front row seats. How can my son compete with that?” she says and it throws me off. I’ve never seen this side of Veronica. I mean I know she’s protective over Jake but never with me. I’m not a threat. “Carter loves spending time with his dad. I don’t think he cares where he sits. This is just a different experience for him. A good experience. He’ll have a nice day. It shouldn’t bother you,” I say while eyeing her. Something seems off with her. I watch her take a long breath. “I guess.” Her lips twist with displeasure. “What are you having?” I ask looking back at her. “Oh no I invited you for coffee today, it’s my treat,” she smiles. I place my order of a café au lait with a chocolate almond biscotti and Veronica orders an extra-large double macchiato. With our coffees in hand, we take a seat by the window sitting across from each other. “It’s so nice to have you here.” I smile at her wanting to ease the tension between us.

“I’m glad to be back. It’s been so long.” Her eyes seem tired and set with worry. “I missed you guys when I was out in California. I guess I just needed a change, or maybe a break. I don’t know.” She shrugs her shoulders. “My life isn’t interesting. Tell me what’s going on with you.” She takes a sip of her coffee and waits for my answer. “Not much, everything’s the same. The school year will end soon. Getting the classes ready to write exams. I have a class first period this semester, so I feel like I’m always rushing to school.” I mutter matter of factly. Even though I sense that’s not what she wants to know. “And you are in a new relationship.” She seems to want to pull the words out of me. Problem is I sense her disapproval which makes me want to shut down. It’s crazy though because this isn’t the first conversation I’ve had with Veronica about a guy. I remember back in high school when she gave me the talk about the birds and the bees. She said she couldn’t picture Grandpa Jack getting into specifics with me and she was right, Grandpa’s only words were ‘don’t date. Let’s just make life easy. Relationships are complicated. And with those last words, he went on to watch the six o’clock news. Veronica, on the other hand, knew about my first kiss, when I was dating someone and when we broke up. When Jake and I told her I was pregnant with his baby she cried and said she always hoped

deep down that we would get together. She was disappointed when she realized we wouldn’t be getting together but she didn’t show it. She was supportive through my pregnancy and was a huge help when Carter was born. I wouldn’t have gotten through those first months without her. Especially since she babysat a lot which allowed me to finish my classes, do my homework, and get my degree. She loved living in LA, but she moved across the country to help out. Once we settled in, she moved back to LA. “There’s that too,” I say about dating Colton while trying to keep the dreamy look I get out of my eyes. “You don’t need to hide your feelings, Evie. I don’t want to make you feel that you have too. I’m just watching out for you,” she signs. “And you know I appreciate you so much. I want to be able to share things with you,” I say meaning it. This woman is the only mother I know. “I want that too, honey.” She squeezes my hand, and I feel the love in her gaze. “I need to ask you something,” I wince and sign at the same time. She watches me expectantly. I hate to put her on the spot, but it’s been bothering me. “The scar Jake has on his right shoulder. He said he got it from a bike accident, but it looks like a scar more from a burn.” Her eyes widen, and she gets a deer-in-the-

headlights look before they turn back down to size, and she just looks at me like I’ve lost it. “What on earth do you mean, Evie?” she asks. And I hate to say that I’m not buying into her act. Problem is I need to know now more than ever why she’s lied about it. “Veronica, I’m no medical expert. I know Jake has never questioned where that scar came from, but I think he has the right to know.” I’m pressing, and she could tell me to mind my own business but I can’t back off, not now. “Why is it that girls pay so much more attention to detail than boys?” she asks. Then she heaves a long breath. “I guess I knew this story would come out someday. I just figured it would be a conversation I would have with my son, not my daughter,” she says, and it isn’t the first time she’s referred to me as her daughter. She started doing that when Carter was born, and it only strengthened our connection. “When I was younger I was in a bad relationship…” she begins. “With Jake’s father?” I ask. “Yes, with Jake’s father. Things had been in a bad state for a long time. His name is James Mathis…” she says, and as the name registers I can’t digest what she just said, and my coffee comes flying out of my mouth as I practically jolt from my seat. “Here,” she passes me a napkin “Now you

know how I felt the other night when you said you were dating the Governor of Illinois,” she says, her hands shaking her eyes red and swelling with tears and I can now imagine how she felt. My eyes widen, my breath hitches in my chest. My world tilts sideways as I allow her words to register. “Are you saying…what I think you’re saying?” My mind feels like mush. I can barely formulate a sentence let alone put two and two together. “That’s right, honey.” She nods, worry painted over her entire face like a dark mask. “The man you’re dating…he’s my son.”

Chapter Twenty-Two Colton “Come on; it will only take a minute,” I urge Carter on to the field with me to pitch the first ball. Problem is the kid has gone frozen on me and won’t get out of his seat. “You go ahead I’ll watch you from here. I’ll even cheer you on,” he answers nervously, and I realize he doesn’t want that much attention on him. I sometimes forget the amount of attention I get being a public figure. My life is my normal, but it clearly isn’t normal by the moonstruck look on this kid‘s face. “Okay. I expect to hear that cheer though.” I lift a finger and warn playfully. I want his day to be fun. He’s a great kid. I guess he’s very mature for his age. I want him to like me which is an odd feeling for me because I have no experience with kids other than the second-grade class I visited a few weeks ago. Besides, I find his honesty refreshing, and I like hanging out with him. His world is happy, and he’s content. He can just be a kid. I guess I love watching him being a kid because

I never got a real chance. I head out to the field and shake the hand of today’s pitcher. The first player is already set and ready to go in front of the umpire in the batter’s box. It will be an intense game tonight since the Cubs are playing the White Sox, both Chicago teams. The White Sox feel like they have something to prove and now they have me pitching the first practice ball. I throw the first ball. The umpire calls strike one, and the crowd goes wild. Now I feel the pressure even more. I pitch again and this time ball one is called. Shit! I’m trying to look like a hero for the kid, and this isn’t boding well for me. I want him to go home to his mother saying what a great guy I am because I like her and for the first time in my life I want this relationship to work. I pitch another ball this time using a slight curve to the inside corner which I know may throw this player off. Yes! It works, the umpire calls strike two. I glance over to Carter, and he’s full out cheering in his seat his hands waving in the air. The coach motions to the pitcher that I’m done. Okay,I nod. I’ve done my job. I shake his hand, we smile for the cameras, and then I’m back to my seat. “Wow! That was so cool.” Carter’s voice is cheerful as I sit back in my seat. “They should have let you pitch one more. You would have totally gotten that guy out.” He’s smiling and so sure.

“Thanks, bud.” I ruffle the top of his hair. “They usually only let me throw the first ball. I threw three today, so that was pushing it even though I did a bang-up job.” “Yeah, if you stop being governor then maybe you can find a job in baseball. That would be so cool, and I could say I knew one of the Cubs personally.” I laugh. His enthusiasm is endearing. “I never thought about playing ball. I’m better at golf than baseball, but I’ll consider it.” A guy selling pop and popcorn comes by, and I buy each of us a Coke and popcorn. “Mom doesn’t let me drink Coke. She says it can stunt my growth because of the caffeine.” “Crap! Sorry. I can get you something else to drink,” I offer. “No way. I love Coke. Sometimes my dad lets me drink Coke. He says if I drink it once in awhile it won’t stop me from growing,” he says, then pops his can open and chugs the can down. “I usually come to ball games with my dad, but this has been real fun. Thanks for bringing me.” “Yeah, sure. I’m glad you could make it. This is fun for me too,” I answer. When Carter speaks of his dad, it makes me curious. I know he’s Evie’s best friend and they share a child. From the sounds of it, he’s a good guy. I don’t understand why the thought of him makes me feel uncomfortable. I

don’t have too much time to process my thoughts because out of the corner of my eye I notice a picture of Carter and me on the giant jumbotron screen meaning we will be on TV. Whoa! Talk about public exposure. I point to the screen and Carter looks up. “Holy crap.” He claps his hand over his mouth. “I… mean…” he murmurs. “I’m sorry, you won’t tell my mom I said that will you?” He looks to me with worry in his young blue eyes. “Your secret is safe with me.” I wink then look around to make sure my detail is close by. I asked them to keep a distance earlier since I didn’t want Carter feeling like going out with me would be strange. As I check our surroundings, I realize that the guy standing behind me is snapping a picture of Carter and me with his phone. Holy crap! I repeat Carter’s words in my head. This isn’t good. “Hey, no pictures, man. Besides he’s a minor, so you better not be posting that anywhere,” I say with a stern voice even though I try to keep things friendly. “Who’s the kid? I’m with US Weekly. Care to make a statement?” He holds his phone out to me. I cuss under my breath. Thatch, one of the men on my detail, comes up to the gentleman and gently escorts him away. “Rumor has it that you’re dating someone and it’s serious. Is this her son? Have you set a date to

marry?” the reporter shouts as Thatch hauls him away from us. I clench my jaw together because I didn’t need Carter hearing all those questions. His mom told him I was her friend for now and I wanted to respect what Evie wanted. I don’t have time to come up with an answer when Carter asks, “Are you and my mom going to get married?” His voice sounds a little awestruck and maybe even worried. A small chortle escapes my lips. “Your mom is a real nice lady. I like spending time with the two of you. If it’s okay, I’d like to continue spending time with you guys,” I answer and I know I’m deflecting the real question. I hate to deflect with Carter, but I haven’t thought about marriage. Like ever. “Cool. We like to hang out with you too,” he answers and smiles then returns his attention to the game satisfied with my answer. If the thought hadn’t crossed my mind before now, it was planted in my head. Marriage…me, Evie, and Carter. The idea didn’t unsettle me at all. I waited for the panic to rise in my chest as I pictured us as a family. Only the alarm never took root. Instead, I got a warm feeling in my chest as I thought of quiet nights at home with Evie and Carter by a warm fire. I don’t know why the picture of a fireplace came to mind, only that whenever I thought of a real-life family, they were happy, they were sitting around a coffee table playing games, and the warmth of a fireplace

radiated through the room. I let out a long breath almost feeling relief. I had run from relationships all my teenage and adult life. It felt good not to want to run anymore.

Chapter Twenty-Three Evie Veronica is patting me on the back since the biscotti I was chewing on went down the wrong tube. I lift a hand to tell her to stop and reach for my café au lait to wash the harsh chunks of biscotti down my throat. “What did you just say?” I must have misunderstood because I swear I just read Veronica’s lips and watched her sign that Colton was her son. “I’m sorry Evie,” she signs, and she looks like she’s almost in tears. “Jake knew I was born and grew up in Chicago. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him that his father was a bad man, so I told him I was inseminated…” she shakes her head as tears fill her eyes. “Veronica, my goodness. This is…I mean I know Jake always wondered about his dad even though he thought he was just a sperm donor…” I trail off, my hands falling into my lap. I feel winded and out of sorts even though I don’t have all the pieces to this story together in my mind. Veronica

holds her head in between her two hands, pressing her hairline high. She looks completely distraught. She turns to me so I can see her. “I lied to Jake, Evie. I couldn’t tell him that his father didn’t want him, so I lied,” she says, and I suddenly hate that we are having this conversation in a public place. I should have never brought it up here because I feel sick to my stomach. “Oh my gosh.” I hold my stomach as I feel the sting of vomit at the back of my throat. “His father…he was like my mom. Didn’t want to deal with having a child that was deaf?” As the words leave my mouth, my heart aches for Jake. It was so much easier knowing there wasn’t a male figure in his life because of his mom’s choice, but this changes everything. Knowing your parent didn’t want you or was ashamed of you, does things to your insides, your psyche, things that are so dark and miserable that I hate for Jake to feel those emotions. Veronica nods. “We didn’t know Jake couldn’t hear at first. By the time he was two, it had become clear he was born deaf. We had done some initial hearing tests on him, and the results were inconclusive. They thought maybe he had fluid in his ears that was distorting the tests. His father had a hard time accepting Jake was deaf. He became angry about it. He was mostly in denial. We drifted apart, and one night things just blew up. I was

about to take a bath. I lit some candles in my room and in the bathroom to try and relax. Things had just gotten so bad between James and me. James had plans. He didn’t want me spending all my time dealing with a deaf child when he wanted to run for the role of the state attorney. He wanted me to be the epitome of first lady dedicating my time outside our home but with two small boys…” she explained, and I could see her shaking. “I’ve made some terrible choices in my life. I was young, naïve, James swept me off my feet. I didn’t realize what his thirst for power meant. I didn’t even know people would go to such extremes to get power. We were drifting apart not coming closer together. He wanted to take a step back from his role at the firm and run for state attorney. He had always aspired to become president. His family wealth was never enough to satiate him; neither were his accomplishments in the legal field. The night he sent me away we fought. In his rage, he knocked over a candle. We were screaming so loud at each other that we didn’t notice the material cover of the dresser catch fire. It spread to the curtains, and everything just began burning.” She was trembling so hard I didn’t know what to do. “Oh Evie,” she sighed so sadly. I swallow hard trying to digest her words, but the coffee shop feels like it’s spinning. “He told me to get Jake from his nursery, and he

would save Colton, but the fire spread so fast, the house had filled with smoke,” she paused swiping at the tears from her eyes. “I grabbed Jake and ran through the smoke-filled house. I accidentally hit his shoulder on a corner wall. Since it had metal casing inside the frame, it was burning hot. That’s how Jake got his scar.” I watch Veronica as she signed and her mouth moved. Her story was too much to process. It wasn’t what I expected to find out when I confronted her about the burn. Not in my wildest dreams would I think that Colton and Jake were brothers. I just thought she was hiding something else. Something a lot simpler than the devastating story she just shared. Watching her talk about Jake and Colton makes my stomach feel hollow especially when I remember Colton’s harsh words for his mother. A woman he hated. A woman that left him behind and never looked back. How could sweet loving Veronica be that woman? “I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I feel like such a fool for digging this up now. I was just trying to look out for Jake…” “Don’t blame yourself. I don’t blame you.” Her smile was sad. “I’m glad that you care enough about Jake to look out for him the way you do. It’s important to me for you to know that I didn’t plan on leaving the night of the fire. When we reached the curb, James told me to take Jake and leave. I

had nothing Evie, just the clothes on my back and a two-year-old son in my hands. James told me never to return. I begged and pleaded with him to let me take Colton, but he said that if I ever tried to contact Colton, he would contact one of Jeffrey Davis’s boys to kill us.” My mouth went dry at the thought that Colton was left with such a cruel man. In our conversations together he was always sad about his mom leaving him, but he was grateful to have his father. The name Jeffrey Davis sends sirens going off in my head. Then it clicks. He’s one of Chicago’s most notorious drug dealers. “The drug dealer?” I ask for confirmation. “Yes, James was a defense attorney. He knew all kinds of bad people, Evie. He defended murderers, drug dealers. Jeffrey Davis was loyal to James because James was top notch and kept him out of jail. You see, James wanted to enter politics, but his past was shady. He knew that if he entered politics, his opponents could find things out that would end his career before it even started. He was blinded by rage, greed, and power when he told me to leave. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want either of my boys getting hurt. I know Colton is governor now. I hated that Jake wanted to move back to this city. It’s why I didn’t want to come with him. I figured it was better I stayed away. Only I missed you guys so much. I figured enough time passed.

Only the first night I’m back I hear you’re dating my other son.” As her words penetrate, I remember her reaction to hearing I was dating the governor. The wine glass she had been drinking from fell from her hand and broke into small shards of glass. “Shit.” I bite my lip. I’m speechless. In the moments after she broke the glass, I believed she was shocked that the governor would want me. A deaf girl. In reality, her odd reaction had been because I was dating her other son. “James is a bad man, Evie. I hate that you’re involved with Colton. I know he’s my son, but he was raised by a man whose endgame is power. I can’t imagine how that poor boy was raised.” She shakes her head, and I see the guilt seeping through her pores. Jake and Veronica lead such simple lives out in California I would never have thought that Jake’s father was James Mathis. James Mathis was old money. His father started a chocolate company in the early 1900’s, and the wealth only blossomed and matured from there. I hate that I know this information, but I had to google Colton. I was letting him into my home and around my son. Now I just feel guilty for looking him up because he’s a good man. No matter who his father is, Colton is different. I shake my head then sign. “Veronica you would be proud of him. He’s a good person. He does a lot

of charitable things,” I begin when I see that she’s shaking her head. “Oh honey, the rich are always involved in charity. That doesn’t mean they’re good.” “Veronica, you’re wrong. Colton is a good man. He thinks you didn’t want him though. He has trust issues.” I feel like my insides are bursting. I can’t say those things to Veronica. Those are Colton’s secrets. He wouldn’t want me to share. Veronica places her hand over mine. “Honey, listen. You can’t tell Colton. You can’t tell Jake. If James found out that I told the boys the truth he would have me and Jake killed,” she says, and I see the fear in her eyes. She isn’t playing a game. She is scared senseless. “Those boys are grown, men. James raised Colton. You raised Jake, but they are living their own lives now. You can’t surely believe that James is still a threat?” “He is, Evie. Don’t you think I hate this? Don’t you think I’ve thought about Colton all these years? How he’s getting by? You couldn’t possibly understand the guilt I felt for leaving him behind. Then Carter was born, and he looked so much like Colton as a boy, those light blue eyes looking back at me were always a reminder of the son I left behind. Colton has always been in my heart and soul.” She shakes her head, and I see that she’s trembling as she lifts her coffee cup to her lips. “I

had no choice. I feared for Jake’s life. I still do. I hate that Jake lives in this city. I wish you guys could have settled in Seattle, San Francisco, Portland… Jake was insistent on Chicago. It made me so nervous knowing you all lived here.” My hand comes up to my face when I remember the first time I saw Colton. Jake and I were being foolish and almost got arrested throwing cream pies at the governor with a bunch of other protesters. Jake didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know the governor was his brother. Gosh! This is so freaking messed up. “We have to tell Jake,” I urge. “He deserves to know.” “I can’t, Evie. If you love Jake and you want to ensure his safety you won’t say anything,” she pleads with me. “I told Jake that I didn’t think he got his scar from riding his bike. I put doubt in his mind. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…” I begin to apologize. “You couldn’t have known, sweet girl. You were always so perceptive. I know you love Jake, please…please help me keep him safe.” “You can’t surely believe that James is still a threat?” “Evie, tell me one thing. Does James want Colton to run for the presidency?” I sigh. “Yes, but Colton doesn’t want to run. He hates the pressure his father puts on him. You know

he used to volunteer for the Peace Corps?” I add because I want Veronica to see that Colton is a good man too. “You’re falling for him, Evie, aren’t you?” Her question looks more like defeat. At least that’s what her features are telling me. As she asks me the question, I know that yes, I’m falling hard for Colton Mathis. She closes her eyes and nods her head. When she opens her eyes, she pleads with me. “I know I’ve put you in a bad position by telling you all this. But I also know that you wouldn’t put Jake’s life at risk. I wouldn’t put it past James to harm Carter. I want to tell you that it would be best if you broke things off with Colton but I sense your attachment.” “Veronica…I…” I don’t know what to say. Hearing her mention that Carter could be in danger just about guts me. “We need to get out of here. I need some air.” I look around the coffee place cautiously to make sure no one overheard the conversation. “Sure.” She smiles warmly but the guilt and fear creases at the corner of her eyes. We leave the coffee shop and the fresh air isn’t enough to release the tension I feel in my chest. Jake and I don’t keep secrets. It’s a simple fact. We’ve stayed close friends because we are open and honest with each other. Our friendship is based on the fact that we

share with each other openly. Even if we know the other person won’t like the opinion much. It’s why Jake felt so comfortable to give me his opinion on Colton. As I think of Colton my stomach turns, he just opened himself up to me. Trust is such a big thing for him too. I know he hasn’t trusted the other women he’s dated but he promised to take a chance on me. I told him I was trustworthy. How can I keep this from him? If he ever found out, he would hate me. Our relationship would be over. Problem is Veronica is not a drama queen. I believe every word she said about James being a bad man and using his connections. I could never live with myself if something happened to Jake or Colton. I can’t believe that Jake and Colton are brothers. I’ve slept with two brothers. It just seems wrong. They don’t look much alike. I would never have guessed it. I walk down the street with Veronica feeling out of sorts. “What time is Colton dropping Carter off?” Veronica’s voice breaks the haze in my head. “Shit.” I look down at my cell phone. It’s already five o’clock. “I should go. Colton said he would have Carter home by six and I promised him spaghetti and meatballs tonight for dinner.” “You’re a good mother, Evie. Please don’t hate me and please understand that I did the best I could under the circumstances.” She looks to me, and now I see the guilt in her eyes from years of pain

that I thought was there because she had a hard time raising a son as a single mother on a low salary. “I know.” I lean forward and give her a hug my mind still spinning in circles. “I should call an Uber.” She nods. “Okay, but please promise me,” she says, and I see the pleading look in her eyes. I still can’t believe she’s Colton’s mother too. Although now that I truly look at her, I see that he has her eyes. Eyes I’ve been looking into for the last number of weeks. There was no way I would have made the connection. “Okay.” I nod trying to get my bearings about me. I just don’t know how long I can keep that secret. Not with Colton and me getting more serious as the days pass.

Chapter Twenty-Four Colton “You do realize that we have to schedule a press conference. We keep putting it off so you can play house but time isn’t on our side.” Al reminds me of my impending doom while we sit at the bar at the Continental nursing a Macallan on ice. I just dropped Carter off at home a couple of hours ago. Evie was acting a little strange, but I figured she was nervous about our mystery date tonight. Al called wanting to meet for a quick drink so here I am. I should have known he wanted to meet to discuss the upcoming press conference. “I know,” I reply, swirling the amber liquid in my glass. “And?” Al waits expectantly. “I don’t know,” I answer, feeling like I usually do. I have to concede. I need to do what my father wants. It’s fucking crazy this guilt. It runs through my veins like a poison causing my life to shift in ways I don’t want it to. I laugh sardonically. “I finally cornered my old man about the night of the fire.” Al watches me but doesn’t say a word. “My

mother still lived with us at that point. They had a fight. The fire started, and she left. Never looked back. She knew I was hurt that night yet she didn’t even stick around to see if I was okay.” “Fuck man, I’m sorry.” Al’s voice is filled with sorrow. Only I don’t want his pity there’s a reason I’m telling him this story. “Don’t fucking pity me. The reason I’m telling you this is because I don’t know how to say no to the man that saved my life? He left his family business to pave a road for himself in politics. We can both understand wanting to pave our own path. My father’s dreams were railroaded the night my mom took off and left me behind.” I huff out a breath, but really I’m trying to release the feeling of defeat that always hangs over me. “Did you ever wonder why your dad didn’t try to find her? I mean with all his resources, man… why didn’t he haul her ass back from wherever she went?” Al asks, and it’s a legitimate question. I’ve fucking analyzed this situation from all angles in therapy running over every plausible scenario. “And what would force a woman who didn’t want to be a mother to take care of a five-year-old kid? She left me to burn in that fucking house, Al. Who would want to bring a woman like that back in our lives? My father did the right thing.” I throw back the remnants of the liquid in my glass. “So that’s it then? Are we doing this? Marking

our trail to the White House?” Al asks, his blue eyes filled with an excitement I haven’t seen in a long time. He used to get that look when we worked for the prosecutor’s office and won a big case. “Yeah, we’re on our way.” I clinked my glass with his then throw back a large gulp because where Al looks enthusiastic, I feel just plain defeated. I hate to think how my decision is going to affect Evie. I’ve seen her and Carter a few times this week, but I didn’t mention my upcoming doom. Maybe because I was cherishing every moment with them and I didn’t want to taint it with the thought of what a presidential race would entail. They are totally not up for it between the media exposure and the opponents digging into Evie’s background to find any dirt that could bring me down. Politics is a dirty game. One I particularly didn’t want to play right now because I was having the time of my life playing house with Evie and her son. Carter took to me today at the baseball game, and we’ve been getting along great. Evie too. “Anyways, I’m heading out. You hanging around here?” I throw a fifty on the bar. “Yeah man. I’m meeting a lady for drinks in like…” he pauses to check his Rolex. “Ten minutes.” “Did I ever tell you that you drink too much?” I shake my head, but the sardonic grin is still

plastered to my lips. “Yeah, has it ever stopped me?” he asks, looking directly at me. He probably wants to tell me to mind my own business, but he knows my concern comes from a good place. We both answer, “No,” in unison. Then we laugh together. Ever since I met Evie, I’ve realized what a shallow life I used to live. Now I worry that Al is stuck on that path, with no yellow brick road to lead him to the castle where his princess awaits. “You heading out to see Evie? Again?” he accentuates because he doesn’t understand how I’ve committed to her. A simple conversation won’t explain the logistics of our relationship either. He needs to be knocked on his ass by a woman to understand where my heart lays now. “Yup,” I nod proudly. “And don’t roll your eyes. You should only be so lucky to find what I have with Evie. I didn’t know this feeling ever existed. It’s like I feel I belong with her,” I say and yes, I sigh. “Cheers.” Al lifts his glass to me. “I don’t belong, man, I just go with the flow.” His words seem eerie like maybe he’s referring to his family. After so many years I would have thought that he and his dad would have reconciled or even just communicated but there has been nothing. “You’ll eventually get sick of going with the flow. That or the right woman hasn’t come into

your life yet.” I stand from my bar stool and tap his shoulder. “Maybe I should stand out on the street on a Friday night and see if someone whips an egg at me or something. Isn’t that how you find the right girl?” His lips twist in that wry smile he does so often. “Hardy har, har.” I shake my head at him. “You have a good night.” “Later.” He winks and takes a large gulp from his glass. A moment later a brunette comes up to him and places a hot kiss on his lips. She doesn’t care that I’m standing right next to her. I don’t bother to stick around to meet her because knowing Al she won’t be around for long. Instead, I head back to my apartment in the city to change and shower. I also confirm all the details of my date with Evie tonight. I want to make it a night she will never forget.

Chapter Twenty-Five Evie It’s been so hard seeing Colton and not telling him the truth. When he dropped Carter off this afternoon, I still felt traumatized from the story Veronica told me. I didn’t know how to look at the man I was falling for in the eyes, eyes that I now knew were so similar to my son’s and not be honest with him after he specifically told me that that’s what he needed from me. I felt like a complete hypocrite because here Colton was learning how to sign so we could communicate easier, he was putting an effort in with my son, and he asked me for only one thing, honesty. Now after learning the truth, I couldn’t even give him that. I didn’t know what to do. I still feel like crawling out of my skin as Veronica’s words replay in my mind. It doesn’t help that when he dropped Carter off, he told me about the talk he and his father had the other day. His father told him his mother left him in a fire and didn’t look back. If there was one thing I was sure of, James Mathis was the devil in disguise. It sickened me that he would want Colton to

believe his lies probably knowing how hurt Colton would feel about his mother leaving him and not looking back. It just about gutted me when he told me because Veronica is a good woman. A woman who would never have left a child behind if she didn’t fear for their lives. What I don’t understand is how Colton doesn’t remember having a younger brother. Jake was two when he and Veronica left. Colton was five. I guess I don’t remember much about being five, but I would have thought he would remember a sibling. I think the whole trauma has made him block things out. Now I’m getting ready for our mystery date. He said he’s taking me out but not to a public place. I’m not sure what that even means but I’ve spent the last hour blowing out my long red hair and adding loose curls. I’ve also put on some eyeliner and mascara to accentuate my blue eyes. I don’t think Colton has ever seen me with makeup since I don’t wear it often. I didn’t even wear makeup the night of the Veterans gala. I finally add a pinkish color lip gloss, and smooth my hands down my form-fitting black dress. My ensemble is a little sexier than what I usually wear out on a date but this is Colton. I want to be beautiful for him even though I know he’s attracted to me when I’m in simple sweats. I want him to feel goosebumps run down his body the way they run down my body when I first see him. I spray a light mist of vanilla

body spray over my body and run to the door since the red lights began to flash, indicating Colton is here to pick me up. I run for the door in my stilettos since my excitement is running high. My red curls bounce as I make my way to the door. I open the door, and my heart picks up pace. He looks so handsome, no, drop dead gorgeous in a black dress shirt and black dress pants. His blue eyes glisten as he takes me in and I watch how he completely stills as his gaze runs over every inch of my body leaving a trail of heat in its tracks. “You look beautiful,” he signs, and my eyes widen as warmth spreads down my chest. I sign back, “Thank you.” Then I begin to speak, “Where did you learn to do that?” He smiles and enters my apartment. “Carter helped me out this afternoon,” he says. Then he signs, “You take my breath away.” He motions and the heat in his eyes makes me feel airy, but most of all I love the effort he’s making to learn sign. My earlier doubts about our relationship being difficult begin to fade away. “Thank you,” I smile breathlessly. “You have no idea how much it means to me that you are learning.” I hold my hands together interlaced in front of my heart. “I think I know what it means and now that I see your reaction, I’m committing to learning until I’m fluent. You mark my words.” His grin is

salacious. He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips. He smells freshly showered, his dark hair is still wet and brushed back. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him with every part of me. We begin to make out as our bodies are pressed together, his hands running up and down my behind. He breaks the kiss and pulls his head back. “I should have told you to wear sweats, even though you’re hot in sweats too. Just this dress, Evie is gorgeous the way it hugs your body…” he bites his lip, “we better get out of here, before we spend another evening in this apartment.” “That wouldn’t be so bad,” I protest. “No, but I have a place I want to take you,” he responds. “Ready?” “One second.” I grab my purse and my cell phone. Colton takes my hand and doesn’t let go leaving me to lock my front door with one hand. He’s got a silly grin on his face like he’s excited about something. We head out to his car, a black sports car parked at my curb. It looks expensive. He holds the door open for me, and I get in. Then he closes the door and comes around, my nerves from earlier have dissipated as an exciting thrill washes over me. His car has a new car leather smell mixed with the scent of his cologne, and it’s delicious. He starts the car, and we head out into traffic.

“Where are we going?” I ask, realizing it will be hard for him to look at me and drive. We stop at a red light, and he turns to look at me. He signs, “Trust me?” My stomach flips that he’s signing again. “I do,” I answer and sign thinking it’s a good way for him to learn. The problem is, I feel like an imposter because he can’t trust me and I hate every minute of it. He turns the knob on the radio, and we head out to the highway. I just look out the window wondering where on earth he’s taking me. We finally pull into a local airport strip. My eyes turn wide. “You know I need to be back for Carter tomorrow afternoon, and I don’t have a passport on me.” I must be speaking fast because my excitement has quickly melted into nerves as I’m reminded that Colton isn’t just a regular guy. “I know. Where we’re going we don’t need a passport,” he says, and his smile stretches from cheek to cheek. “Okay.” He parks the car and we both exit the car. He walks hand in hand with me even though he’s guiding us toward a row of planes. I point. “Are we going on one of those?” I ask nervously. His grin grows wide. “We are.” He nods. “I’ll be flying us to my lake house on Lake Michigan. Have

you ever been to Evanston?” My jaw drops. “I’m sorry did I read your lips, right? You will be flying as in you will have control of the plane.” He chuckles and throws his head back slightly. The sun is still up, and a warm breeze rustles his hair. “Don’t be so surprised. The one thing my father did let me do that was fun was take flying lessons. He bribed me since I had spent my first semester of college partying and got shitty grades. Once I started flying, I kept my end of the bargain and got straight A’s.” He looks to me like he’s proud of that accomplishment. Only hearing that story makes me so angry as I think of what an asshole his father truly is. “Don’t worry. I’ve been flying for years now. I’m quite good. You’re completely safe with me.” As he says those words, I feel my gaze soften. “I know,” I say, but I feel like I spoke those words too softly. Truth is I felt safe with Colton. “Good.” He rubs his hands together and guides us toward the plane where a man is waiting with a clipboard in his hand. “Hey, Trip.” Colton shakes his hand. “Hey Colton,” the man says back. “You guys are scheduled for an eight fifteen take off. Should be perfect timing to watch the sun setting,” the old guy says, looking at Colton with a friendly stare. I liked that Colton didn’t require people to call him

Mr. Governor for respect. It showed just how down to earth he truly was. “That sounds perfect. You have yourself a good night.” Colton shakes Trip’s hand again. And we boarded the small plane. I had been on a plane before with Jake but nothing this small. Colton prepared us for takeoff going over all the safety procedures required in case of a crash. I swallowed hard as he mentioned the parachutes and where to pull the string. He noticed my nerves and brushed the back of his hand on my cheek. “Don’t worry beautiful. This is going to be fun.” I took the back of his hand and gave him a small kiss there, and his aquamarine eyes warmed. It made my heart flutter. “Okay let’s do this.” Colton turns his attention to the plane. We get ready for take-off. Colton’s expression becomes serious as he plays with the buttons on the dashboard of the plane. Then he speaks something into his mouthpiece, and we are reversing, then driving straight toward the runway. Nervous butterflies float in my stomach, but the excitement and surge of adrenaline win out. I am enjoying myself. I can’t contain my smile if I wanted to. Colton gives me a sidelong glance and his smile grows just as wide. The plane picks up speed, and it is exhilarating. And then we are airborne. My stomach dips momentarily as I watch the ground moving further and further away from

us. The sun is setting, and the view is beautiful. Colton turns his head to look at me and waits until I return his stare. “What do you think?” I feel speechless, but one word comes to mind. “It’s perfect.” “So are you,” he says, and I love the way those words look on his mouth. He was doing something to my insides. Putting together pieces that had been broken for so long. It felt like we had just been up in the air for a short time when Colton spoke into the mouthpiece telling someone we were preparing for landing. The way he commanded the plane was a sight to see. He was sure of himself. Confident. It’s the way he was viewed in the media. Looking at him you wouldn’t think he had such a broken past, or more so that there were parts of him that were broken. I hated how his father controlled him and now that I knew the truth from Veronica, I hated it even more. We come to a soft landing on what Colton said was his personal runway. I wasn’t sure what that meant until we exited the plane and I took in the grounds of what Colton said was his lake house. This wasn’t a lake house. It was an estate settled on acres of land. The grass was so green and perfectly manicured. “Colton this is…” I was out of words. “From all my homes this is my favorite one. I love being close to the water here. Lake Michigan

just feels different,” he begins to explain. “I…can see what you mean.” I inhale the fresh air. It is cleansing, beautiful, relaxing. We walk toward the main house passing a large outdoor pool along the way. The main house was a sprawling mansion covered in stone. It has an oldfashioned feel to it. He uses his key to enter the front door. “I asked my staff to work tonight so we aren’t completely alone, but they are pretty good at making themselves scarce. They live in the staff quarters, so I can have my way with you later on.” He leans in and presses a chaste kiss to my lips. I am in awe and definitely in a little bit of shock. Back in my apartment, things always seemed very normal with Colton. He showed up in jeans most of the time. except the one odd time he wore a suit. Back there, we were just a man and a woman falling in love. Now I was reminded of his wealth, his power, and it was overwhelming. “This is quite a date.” I force a smile. “I hope I didn’t go overboard, I just…” he pinches the back of his neck. “I wanted tonight to be special. I know you don’t want to go out in public with me because of the repercussions, but I thought this was the next best thing.” “It’s perfect.” I blow out a breath. “A little overwhelming but perfect.” His eyes turn warm. “Thank you for telling me

how you feel. I want you to be able to tell me anything that’s on your mind,” he says, and I feel like his words are some strange form of karma. “I want that too,” I practically sigh. “Come, you must be starving, the house chef Rosita is an amazing cook.” He leads me to the dining room where we are greeted by his house staff. He introduces me to his maid, Alysia; his chef, Rosita; and the butler, Carmen. Every one of his workers calls him Colton and every one of them look to him fondly. I think that says a lot about him as a person. We sit for a delicious three-course meal. “Ready for dessert?” Colton asks at the end. “I couldn’t possibly.” I lean back in my chair. My tummy feels too full. “I hope you are because I thought dessert could be a swim in the pool. The nights are chilly here this time of year, but the pool is set to ninety-five degrees. It’s fun to swim when it’s cold out.” His blue eyes gleam the way they did when he was thinking something naughty. It made my insides warm. “A swim sounds great, but I didn’t bring a bathing suit.” “There are no neighbors for miles here. After dinner, the staff will retire to their quarters, and then we have this place all to ourselves so I can finally have my way with you,” he says. I want so

badly to know the sound of his voice when he says sexy things to me. Just from reading his body I know he is turned on and so am I. I am already wet from the promise of his words. He leads me through French doors at the back of the house where a beautiful veranda is set up with tables, chairs, couches and lined with lovely red flower beds. We walk through a stone trail lined with the perfectly manicured grass I had seen when we first landed and finally we walked through the gates of the pool area. I notice that two of the loungers are set up with plush white towels, and what looks like a bathrobe. Colton seemed to have planned every minute of our date, and it is endearing. We stop in front of the lounge chairs, and Colton turns to me. “This dress is hot, but I’d like to see what’s underneath.” His hands rake up and down the sides of my dress…once, twice… on the third time, he grabs the bottom of my dress and flips it over my head leaving me in a blush lace bra and matching panties. Colton takes a step back, and I watch his breath hitch. “You don’t even know how beautiful you are,” he says. The way he looks at me makes me feel beautiful. My past doubts and insecurities seem to melt away when he gazes at me. I take a step forward and begin to unbutton his dress shirt. I can feel his fast breaths on my face letting me know he is just as affected as me. Colton

gets to work removing his dress pants. He pulls his boxers off with his pants, showing me the apparent signs of his arousal. His cock is standing erect pressed against the hard lines of his stomach. I reach for it, but he stops me shaking his head. “Not yet. First, take off your bra and panties.” He takes a step back. I think so he can watch me. “As much as I like you in a pair of high heels they will have to go.” I unclasp my bra, and my breasts fall. The feel of the cool wind brushing against them causes my nipples to pucker instantly. Or maybe it is the sultry look on Colton’s face. He takes a step toward me as I stand buck naked in front of him. Only I surprise him and run away. As I turn my head, I see him chasing me, so I dive straight into the pool hoping he was right about the temperature. The warm water brushes against my naked skin, and it feels exquisite, sexy. It makes my insides clench as the warm water caresses my exposed skin. Colton dives in after me, he looks happy, carefree, he doesn’t have the heaviness that seems to set into his features most of the time. He catches up to me in the water and grabs hold of me. I wrap my arms around his neck enjoying the feel of our naked bodies entwined under the water. “Tell me you are on the pill,” he says. “I’m on the pill,” I laugh. “Seriously?” he questions himself because he

was being demanding. “Yes.” I nod, and before I can breathe another word, I feel his cock throbbing at my entrance and my insides clench. “I’m clean,” he says, looking directly into my eyes. His blue eyes are glistening off of the shine in the water. I’m so wet for him already, since dinner I had been wet or maybe even while on the plane. He thrusts inside me in one swoop, and I feel lost as my head falls back. He pumps in and out of me, and I’m lost to him. Our lips haven’t even touched, and I’m moaning as his cock drives in and out of me. The warm water is only intensifying all that I’m feeling. There is something so erotic about the two of us fucking in the middle of his pool in the dark, our eyes glued to one another as he moves inside me. “I’m going to come,” I hiss, and my head falls back. His hand wraps around the back of my head, and he lifts it up then he taps my shoulder. I’m so, so close. I open my eyes to see what he wants. “Keep your eyes open. I want you looking at me when I come inside you.” His words set me off as I begin to move faster, fucking him harder. It’s so intense like this, looking straight into his eyes while coming so intensely. My orgasm persists as I feel his cock jerk and I know he’s coming too. We are both panting as we come down from our highs and it is then that he locks his lips with mine. I can feel

him walking us to the edge of the pool. We don’t speak. We just watch each other. It almost feels like he is trying to understand my quiet world. He walks us over to the steps, and we stare up at the stars for a while. The sky is so clear up here. You can see so many more stars than you do in the city. He takes my hand and leads me out of the water. I shiver as we make our way over to the lounge chairs. He passes me a robe first and I sheath myself in the thick plush fabric. “You’re shivering. I should get you inside.” He reaches down for his clothes and picks my dress up too. I get my stilettos on not wanting to walk all the way barefoot. He holds my hand, and we saunter back slowly. It seems like we have come to a point in our relationship that silence isn’t awkward. It brings me relief because it’s nice just to hold his hand and take in the view of the beautiful grounds.With the flower gardens lit at night, the place feels magical now. We reach the back veranda we came from earlier. Colton guides us through the house, and up a large central staircase. I realize how much I’ve grown to trust him. He leads us down a hall to a vast room; a dark wood canopy bed sits in the middle. Everything about this place is luxurious, decorated with ornate things that look super expensive. I wonder if this is Colton showing me all the sides of him. He finally turns to me, and his blue eyes have a

calm swirling through them. I exhale at the sight of him again. He’s just so dreamy. “Would you like me to run you a bath?” he asks. “If you’ll join me.” I nod. He gets that smile on his face again where his eyes twinkle. “I had that exact thought.” He walks away to a bathroom connected inside the room, and I continue to look around. I can’t help but wonder how many of his dates he’s brought up here, to this very bed. My stomach sinks at the thought that I couldn’t possibly compete with those women. They have so much more experience than me. They seem to have seduction made into an art form. I’m hardly a seductress. I don’t even know how to make bedroom eyes. I want to laugh at myself. Colton exits the bathroom still in the same robe that I am wearing too. “What is on your mind?” he signs, surprising me. Then he mouths did I get that right? My heart bursts just a little further. Is he trying to make me fall in love with him? Because he’s doing a bang-up job if he is. “You don’t want to know, I’m foolish,” I say, but I can’t hold his gaze. My thoughts embarrass me. He closes the steps between us showing me a tenderness that makes my heart beat just a little faster. “Nothing you could say is foolish.” He looks from me to the bed. I watch as his mind seems to be

processing something. “I’ve never brought any dates here if that’s what you were thinking. I’ve had dates at my apartment in the city and even back at the governor’s mansion but not here. I come here to have peace and quiet. You are the first woman to be in my bed,” he says, and I take a large intake of breath feeling more pressure than I did before. “Hey.” His brows creased. “None of that. Don’t question yourself with me ever. To me you are perfect. I wouldn’t want to change anything about you. The fact that you are the first woman to be here should say something to you. I feel different about you. Everything with you is…special.” I release the breath I was holding. Any reservations I have melted away. “Thank you,” I sign. He presses a kiss to my lips. “Ready for that bath now?” I follow him into the bathroom. It’s almost the size of a large bedroom. It’s decorated with creamcolored marble and ornate looking faucets. I wonder if it was Colton who designed this house. The bathtub is huge and circular and filled with lots of bubbles. I giggle. “We are having a bubble bath?” “Don’t laugh, there’s nothing like a warm bubble bath to relieve tension and relax.” “Ah, another thing I’ve learned about you now.

That is adorable.” “Hey, I’m not adorable…” he says, stalking toward me. “I’m handsome, sexy as hell.” He drops his robe to the floor, and my stomach clenches at the sight of his completely naked body. A body built like an Adonis. It still seems surreal. He places his hands on the tie of my robe, unties it and then pushes the robe off my shoulders. The atmosphere turns from joking around to heated in milliseconds. “Come.” He extends his hand for me to take it and guides us to the bath. I enter first and take a seat. Colton enters behind me. I lie on him for about a minute, but the ache between my thighs is unbearable as I lie naked against his cock which I feel throbbing against my back. I twist my head and tilt my face up to capture his lips. He lifts me under my arms and turns my body, so I’m facing him. I straddle him, and he wraps his arms around my back. I slide down on his cock and begin to move. The water sloshes at our sides as I rock on top of him. He uses his hips to create friction then he breaks the kiss and places both hands on each of my breasts, kneading them while thrusting into me. My head falls back as I absorb all the pleasure he gives me. I feel his cock growing harder. I rub myself faster along his length feeling the intensity building. He has a lustful look on his face. “You are so beautiful,” he says. He pulls one hand off my breast and puts it under the water. Not

a moment later I feel his finger graze my clit as he begins to work me over while thrusting into me. I rock my body harder increasing the friction of his fingers against my clit. And then I’m detonating, moving on him up and down at a quick pace, chasing my ecstasy. His body jerks and I know he’s coming too, my stomach clenches. I place my hands on his shoulders for support as we ride the wave together. When I’ve come down from my high, I’m breathless. I slide up and allow his cock to slip out of me then I fall on his chest placing my head on his shoulder. He draws slow circles on my back. We stay like that for a while enjoying the closeness, the intimacy. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such close intimacy with someone. After a while, the bath water grows cold, and we leave the bath for the shower. We wash each other’s hair and bodies. Before we leave the shower, Colton presses my hands against the wall of the shower telling me to display my fine ass. Then he takes me again from behind, holding his hands on my hips as he thrusts into me. Finally, he wraps an arm around my waist and dips his hand between my legs. I’ve learned he’s a very generous lover. He doesn’t want to come unless I’m falling with him. He rubs my clit while pressing his other hand to my breast and strokes me over and over until it’s his name I’m calling out.

*** “Colton,” I say his name into the darkness as his tongue assaults me in the most delicious way. Only I don’t want to come like this. I don’t want to come unless I have his dick in my mouth. I’ve learned that Colton likes to dominate in the bedroom. I’ve also learned that I also want to take the reins and do what I like too. Colton says he finds my need to dominate him sexy as hell. I’m so close to coming, but I hold back and turn my body, so Colton and I are sixty-nining each other. From this angle, my pussy is practically flat on his face, and I’m able to suck the hell out of his cock. He begins to shift his hips as my head bobs up and down taking in his wide girth. My hips are moving on their own accord as his tongue moves in perfect strokes across my clit to my opening. And then I’m coming, and it’s so intense I see a white light as I suck him down. My pussy is on fire, and all the sensation is too much, too good, so erotic. We are both flying high as his semen shoots into my mouth, and I do my best to take it all down, but some of it leaks down the side of his cock, and it’s so messy, so filthy. It turns me on more, and my orgasm continues, my pussy greedy for his delectable tongue. When we’ve both come down from the high of ecstasy, I fall to my side and lay upside down on the bed gathering my wits about me. Colton extends a hand

to twist my body right side up. I settle into the crook of his arm. A place I’ve come to feel safe and content. I just hate the looming feeling that hangs over me with knowing the truth. It’s dreadful. He places a soft kiss on my forehead, and we lie quietly in bliss for a while. Then he shifts beside me, and I turn my body to look at him. He leans on his elbow watching me, pushing a stray strand of hair off my face. “You’re so beautiful. You know that,” he says and I gather it isn’t a question even though I can’t hear his tone. I just watch him looking at me. He’s so handsome with that angular jaw, perfect nose, aqua blue eyes. We lay quietly for a bit while we catch our breath. “Evie, I need to tell you something…” he begins, and my stomach dips wondering what it may be. “What is it?” I ask softly. I want to lay back and relax. Enjoy our post-coital bliss but if we need to communicate I need to be on my stomach facing him using my shoulders for support. “What is it?” “This…I mean us…it feels good. I mean it feels right,” he says, and I can tell he’s nervous because his eyes tend to narrow in a soft way when he is. “I know what you mean,” I answer and I can’t hear myself, but I’m sure I sound dreamy. “I didn’t think I had a chance with you…” he says and I’m a bit floored because he’s the

handsome drop-dead gorgeous Governor of Illinois. I’m just some simple, deaf teacher. I hate to classify myself but how can I not? My thoughts trouble me, but my old insecurities sometimes decide to resurface when I don’t want them to. “I think you’re confused.” I playfully check his forehead for a fever. “No fever, it’s true. When you called me a schmuck and stalked off the night of the gala, I thought to myself game over. Then your grandfather walked up to me, and I thought game on.” He smiles devilishly, and it lightens his blue eyes even more. “Game on, huh? I seriously thought you recognized me from the rally and wanted to have me arrested. I was trembling from the inside out. I couldn’t get away from you fast enough,” I admit, remembering that night and how I ran off as fast as I could in my four and a half inch heels. It was no small feat. “The first woman I met that didn’t succumb to my charm.” He pushes out his lower lip. “If I recall it didn’t take me too long to succumb to your charm.” “I wouldn’t say that. You’ve been very guarded with me. Tonight though I think I got under your skin.” “Colton, you’ve gotten under more than my skin, especially tonight.” I wink playfully even

though I know he’s trying to have a serious talk with me. But because I know the truth about his past it makes me nervous, so I feel the need to brush off his words. I suddenly wish I wasn’t so inquisitive. I wish Veronica never told me. Now it plagues my thoughts, and makes me feel guilt I shouldn’t be feeling. “We’re terrific in bed together,” he says with a crooked grin. I feel like he wants to say more but is holding back. I think to myself that I want to say more too. Instead, I answer, “Agreed.” “I think I’d like to see how terrific.” He lifts off his back and turns me on mine then pins me to the bed, his blue eyes staring what feels like right through me. I never had a chance of resisting him. I just hope he doesn’t hate me when all’s said and done.

Chapter Twenty-Six Colton I brought her to the lake house so we could spend time together and I could show her how good we truly are together. I planned to tell her about the presidential race last night in bed after we made love for the umpteenth time but I’m a fucking wimp. I wanted more time with her. I wanted to savor her. I feared she would want to run if I told her about my plans and I couldn’t bear it. I slide out of bed. Evie is still sleeping. She looks like an angel, my angel. She’s so easy to talk too, or maybe it’s just that I like sharing my thoughts with her. I slide on a pair of boxers and check my phone. My father messaged me at six am saying he was calling a meeting. I guess Al must have shared my willingness to run. Those two don’t waste time. I shot Al a text. Thanks a lot, dickwad. It’s a Sunday morning I planned on spending it in bed with Evie. I sure didn’t plan on cutting this trip short. Come on. This is exciting. Don’t be a party

pooper. He responds followed by, Be at your place in twenty. Your dad is meeting us there. What the fuck? I’m in Evanston. Asshole… I know your father told me. We’re heading up in the copter. Fucking hell my blood turns to a boil. I pick up a vase on the dresser but stop myself from throwing it across the room. I place it back down on the dresser and tug at my hair with both my hands. I’m so angry, so fucking mad and I can’t vent with Evie sleeping. My father has gone too far this time. He must have found out that I brought Evie here last night. I pace the room watching a peaceful Evie sleep in the large bed, and my anger morphs into dread. She looks like my very own princess. Her dark red curls sprawled on the pillow as she breathes softly. I don’t want her to meet my father. I never know what he has up his sleeve. Not that I don’t think she can handle him because I’m sure she can. I just don’t want him playing his dirty games where she’s concerned. My need to protect her burns fiercely inside me. The only way I can protect her is by coming clean. My father is only minutes away, and I haven’t told her about my decision to run. I do the responsible relationship thing and nudge her awake.

Her blue eyes slowly open. She has a lazy, confused look on her face, probably wondering why I’m in a pair of boxers kneeling on the floor on her side of the bed and not beside her under the covers where I should be. It’s nine thirty in the morning, but the blackout shades drown the room in darkness. I turn on the lamp next to the side of the bed she’s sleeping on. “Good morning,” she says, and her body curls beneath the sheets. If it weren’t for the damn meeting, I would have liked to enjoy the morning warmth of her body. I sign, ‘good morning’ to her and her smile grows wider. “I have to tell you something,” I say, and her smile fades as she juts out her lower lip. I hate to spring this on her first thing in the morning. Especially after the night we had, she must be exhausted. I know I am. I also don’t need her going all redhead feisty on me when my father and Al arrive, and she hears what’s on the table. “Okay.” She pushes herself up to a seated position and leans back on the headboard. My eyes drop to her pert nipples standing to my attention. They look so lonely. “You can’t expect me to focus when you’re lying here half naked do you?” I ask, my lip quirking up on one side. She rolls her eyes and pulls the sheet up over her chest. “I was hoping to grab your attention.” “You’ve got my attention. Trust me,” I chortle.

Then bow my head for a moment to brace myself, hoping this isn’t the end between us. I look back up to her. “I need to tell you something…it’s important.” “Okay.” She nods, and her eyes drop to my lips. I know it’s her way of ensuring she sees exactly what I’m saying. I pick her free hand up and close it in between my hands. “I need you to keep an open mind. Please promise me.” “Colton, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” A crevice forms on her forehead as she shifts on the bed. I exhale. “There are rumors flying around about me announcing my candidacy for the presidency.” I pause. “Yes,” she confirms. I know she knows this because she mentioned it the first night I officially met her at the Veterans gala. “Okay…well…they won’t be rumors soon because I’ve decided to run,” I say quickly and her eyes narrow. She pulls her hand out of mine and throws the sheet off her naked body and begins to pace in the room like I had done only moments before when she was still asleep. Then she stops and looks right at me. “I understood you, right?” she asks, needing confirmation. I know she understood. I nod and walk up to her placing my hands softly on her bare shoulders. “Evie, I refuse to lose

you over this. I can’t and I won’t. My feelings for you are real. I’ve never felt this way before and I know we need time to explore things. We can keep our relationship secret. No one will have to know. Let’s focus on us,” I say, but who the hell am I kidding? If I enter the race, I will be on the road traveling for months at a time. I close my eyes and try to gather my thoughts. If there is one thing I am good at it is making an argument. I just need to convince her. Only when I open my eyes, she isn’t standing in front of me anymore. She has stalked off to the bathroom and closed the door. I can’t speak to her through the door so in other words, it means conversation over. I walk over to the bathroom door and knock knowing it’s useless. With my back pressed against the door, I slide onto the floor. Five minutes pass and nothing. That’s when I get an idea. I walk over to my nightstand where I have a notepad and pen. I scribble a short note. Don’t block me out. I know this isn’t what you were expecting when we got into a relationship, but I think we can make things work. Maybe you and Carter can fly out to see me when I’m on the road? We can figure something out, just don’t walk away because I’m falling in love with you. I wasn’t looking for you, but

now that I found you I know you’ve been what was missing in my life. I slide the note under the door and wait anxiously. I know what I’ve just admitted to in my state of panic, and it’s true every damn word. Maybe I needed my back to a wall to realize what was happening between Evie and me. She’s everything right for me. I hear the latch on the door slowly unlock and then the door opens. I feel like I’m holding my breath as I take in her features. Being with her has taught me to look at so much more than a person’s words when communicating and the tears rolling down her cheeks speak volumes. Her tears burst into full out crying as her arms fly around my neck. I’m winded, still holding my breath, wondering what this means. I hate being the cause of her tears. My arms wrap around her naked body as I press her as close to me as possible. One arm draped over her back and behind another holding her at her head. I don’t know what her tears mean. I just know I can’t lose her or talk to her and understand what’s in her head from this angle. I need to pull away from her a little so that she can see my lips. “Evie, talk to me,” I say urgently as my heart palpitates in my chest and a foreign feeling washes over me. It takes me a moment to realize how much I fear losing her in my life. I’ve grown attached to

her. The realization makes my head spin, but I try to stay focused on my task at hand. Evie. “I don’t know what to say,” she says shaking her head. She’s crying hard. It’s freaking me out because Al and my dad are going to be here any minute. Which means I don’t have a heck of a lot of time to fix us. I use the pads of my thumbs to wipe her tears as I bend my knees to her eye level. “You asked me to trust you. That’s what I’m doing. I’m sharing my life with you. I’m sharing what’s on my mind with you, but you need to do the same,” I urge because she can close down and I know all about shutting people out. “I know…I know…” She shakes her head and sniffles. “I don’t want to. I’m just so…” she holds her breath like saying her next word is poison. Then she finally says, “Scared.” “Scared?” I repeat like a moron. “Yes, scared. Is it so bad to admit I’m scared? I like to think I have my shit together. My life was comfortable. I lived in a bubble, and it worked for Carter and me. Then I met you and…” She seems to hold her breath again, and I fear what her next words will be. “How do you think the media will take you dating a deaf woman? And not only that, a single mother…I live a modest life. I’m not some glamorous woman. I can’t do the things you will need me to do,” she says, and my heart suddenly

aches as I realize the pressure I’ve put on her. The role I’ve somehow asked her to take on without thoroughly thinking this whole situation over. “Shit, Evie. I’m sorry. I didn’t think this through. I have my dad on my case…” I hate those fucking words even more now. She cuts me off. “I know. And I don’t want to walk away from you, Colton. I truly don’t. I just don’t think I’m the right woman to go on this journey with you,” she says, and my panic rises. My heart picks up speed as fear erupts in my chest. “Okay, I’ve heard you out, and I understand everything you’ve said, but you are assuming I would win the office. I don’t think I will. I’m just announcing and traveling a little to secure votes. That’s all.” I suddenly realize how moronic this sounds. The lengths I’m willing to go to appease my father. I’m weak and broken. My insecurities become magnified. She bursts into laughter and places her palm on my cheek. “You’re a good man. Don’t ever forget that. This country should be grateful to have a leader like you, don’t ever sell yourself short.” She presses a kiss to my cheek then walks over to my dresser where her clothes are strewn over the top and begins to dress. “What are you doing?” I ask, even though it’s obvious. My earlier fear turns into full-blown panic. “I’m getting dressed. I want to go home,” she

says, and I wonder if she’s forgotten that we flew here. She can’t leave. No. She can’t leave me. “We are scheduled to fly out at two pm today,” I say trying to keep my voice steady while I realize I’m trying to keep her here against her will. There is also the small fact that we will have company very soon. The loud sound of a helicopter landing nearby makes my eyes turn wide until I remember she can’t hear it. I swipe a hand over my face and walk over to her very slowly remembering our relationship at the beginning, skittish cat. “Evie, my father and Al are here to discuss the upcoming press conference. I’m so sorry. I didn’t invite them here. I don’t even know how my father found out we were here,” I say, pleading. Hoping the look in my eyes will convey how truly sorry I am. “Your father is here,” she repeats and wraps her arms around her center. She shivers. I want to make her feel better. I want all this baggage I carry to just blow out the damn window but time isn’t my friend right now. “This is how my father likes to sabotage my life. This is what I put up with,” I say, blowing out a harsh breath. Will she understand me? Will she think I’m weak and walk away? “Colton,” her hands caress my cheeks, “you don’t have to do what your father wants all the

time. He has to stop controlling you,” she says. Fuck don’t I know it, I think to myself before the familiar guilt creeps back in. “You wouldn’t understand. He’s sacrificed so much for me. It’s hard for me to say no to him,” I say, resigned. I feel like the weight of the world has decided at this moment to fall upon my shoulders in one large humph. She looks at me and tears swell in her eyes. “Colton, I will stay up here for that meeting. I just don’t want to see your father,” she says, and I don’t blame her. I nod. “I will ask Rosita to bring breakfast upstairs. You must be famished after last night.” “Thank you,” she says, and I can tell she’s shut down on me. Her disappointment oozes from her pores. I’m used to her fighting me on things only now she isn’t her feisty self, and it eats away at me because of my unwillingness to stand up to my father. I failed her, is all I can think. I press a kiss to her lips. She kisses me back and it gives me hope that she isn’t completely locked down, but it also makes my stomach twist because I see pity in her eyes and I hate that more than anything. *** I walk into the dining room where Rosita has set up

a lavish breakfast as I asked her to. It is apparent to me now that my father’s intentions were to sabotage my relationship with Evie. My earlier sense of defeat has bubbled into pure anger as I open the door. I never did give my father an extra key to this place. Not that he needs to come here. He has a much larger house that he likes to brag about on Lake Geneva. He always goes off about how Hugh Hefner set up his first playboy club not far from my father’s mansion. Money. Money. Money. Power. Competition. I want to vomit. My father’s twisted grin greets me along with Al who has a sorrowful look on his face. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” My father claps me on the shoulder and looks around the house as if he’s expecting to see someone. Yeah, you asshole you’ve messed things up. Congratufuckinglations! I don’t say anything though because I sure don’t want to give him the satisfaction. He doesn’t deserve it.

Chapter Twenty-Seven Evie Colton dropped me off yesterday afternoon. His revelation virtually put an end to our mini vacation. That and the fact that his father purposely ruined our trip. At least something positive came out of it because Colton isn’t completely blind where his father is concerned. I felt so sorry for him as he processed the effects of his father’s actions not only on our relationship but his life. If only Colton knew the secrets I carried which made the flight back yesterday all the more difficult. The secret was on the tip of my tongue for most of the flight. Only I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I reminded myself that it wasn’t my secret to tell. Even though in my heart of hearts, I knew Colton wouldn’t see it that way. He’s sent me numerous text messages since he dropped me off yesterday afternoon. I told him to give me space to think. His response was time and space aren’t on our side and that he needs me. ‘Need,’ that word resonated in my mind all night. He needs me, and his note said he was falling in

love with me. I didn’t realize how much I was craving the love of a man until I met him. Until our lips touched and I felt that unique electricity. “Earth to Evie,” Jake signs. It’s a beautiful spring afternoon. So when Jake texted earlier about meeting at the Navy Pier, I thought it was the perfect thing to do, spend time with family to gain perspective. It wasn’t helping because I had a onetrack mind. All my thoughts were consumed by Colton. I blinked twice as Jake tried to snap me out of my daze. “Sorry,” I apologize to Jake. I’ve been reticent and anti-social. “Are you upset about him? You know you can talk to me if you are. I would never betray your confidence, and you’re still my best friend.” His lips are pursed together, and I sense his disappointment that I felt the need to pull away from him after everything we have been through together. It reminds me of the time I had my first kiss with Matthew Smart in ninth-grade. Jake and I had gone to a house party. Matthew’s house was a mansion, and his parents weren’t home. I’d been crushing on Matthew for a while, so when he invited me up to his room to see his telescope, I didn’t hesitate. We spent some time star gazing. I was pretty stargazed myself because Matthew was a sophomore. He was built and good-looking, and he was interested in me. We french kissed in his

room that night, and when I returned to the party, I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off my face. I bumped into Jake, and he said those same words to me. You know you can talk to me. I would never betray your confidence. Good old Jake also let me cry on his shoulder a week later when I found out that Matthew kissed Kayla Cummings at a party at his friend Derek’s house the following week. I sign to him that I know and my gaze warms as I stare back at him. Always loyal Jake. “He wants to run for president. I can’t be by his side when he does; I don’t want the attention or that lifestyle. I’m happy the way my life is, I like my job. I worry about how that kind of attention will affect Carter. It scares me to think what would happen to my life if people knew I was the woman in Colton Mathis’s life.” Emotions pour out of me in a cleansing way. “That’s not easy,” he signs. “I’m sorry you’re torn up.” His smile is consoling. “Thanks.” I force a grin. This is Jake, and I should be comfortable discussing relationship stuff with him, but not when the other man is his brother. I don’t know that Jake would be supportive right now if he knew that tidbit of information. “Come,” he signs. “Let’s take Carter on the Ferris wheel. Maybe it’ll distract you.” He winks and takes my hand knowing full well I’m not a fan of heights. I can’t even respond as he walks briskly. I sure would be distracted because I’d have a panic

attack instead. I’m happy on the ground. Jake and I are walking hand in hand as he tugs me toward the Ferris wheel when I spot Colton. What is he doing here? My heart thrums in my chest like it usually does when he’s near. My eyes rake over him. He’s wearing a pair of khakis and a white polo. He looks sophisticated yet casual. When my gaze meets his, I notice the scowl on his face. I messaged him back this morning saying I’d be spending the day with Carter, Jake, and Veronica. I didn’t expect him to show up at the Navy Pier. My usual excitement over seeing him turns to sheer panic when I remember my company . Panic bubbles in my chest, and my gaze darts around looking for an escape route. “Nothing between you guys. Huh!” he snaps, his jaw hardened. I see the pain and disdain rolling off his features. Jake immediately drops my hand, but he doesn’t read lips so well, so I’m not sure he picked up on what Colton said. My heart beats rapidly in my chest knowing that this is probably the first time in a long time that these brothers have come face to face. Only they don’t realize they’re brothers…my mind goes into overdrive, and I feel like a shaky mess. The truth is too much of a burden for me to carry right now. I swallow hard and try to get my bearings before I speak. I fear saying the wrong thing or letting the

truth slip. “Colton. There’s nothing between us. I was just telling Jake how confused I am about you, and he wanted to take me on the Ferris wheel to distract my thoughts,” I explain, hoping my tone is leveled. I was happy that Veronica was nowhere near us since she took Carter to play one of those games where you shoot a water gun at a target and try to win a race. Only my hope is vanquished when I see my son charging toward us excited and holding a stuffed animal. He must have won the game. Veronica is hot on his tail. “Colton, hey.” My son smiles widely running up to Colton holding his hand up for a fist bump. It makes my heart ache and swell all at once that Carter and Colton have become close. “Hey, buddy. You having fun?” Colton asks just as Veronica comes running up to us out of breath. She looks like she’s huffing for air. “Carter you shouldn’t run off on grandma like that,” she says and signs, until her eyes meet the sight of Colton standing with us, and her eyes bug out of her sockets. Her lips are moving, but she doesn’t make any sense which tells me she must be mumbling something and who knows what. I’m pretty sure the last time she saw a live version of Colton he was five. I have to try to smooth over her awkward behavior, so I take a step forward and again hope my voice is leveled. “Veronica. This is Colton,” I

say, introducing her as if she wouldn’t know her freaking son. My heart beats at a staccato in my chest, and I feel like I want to pass out. Veronica seems to be a shaky mess too. Her hands are flailing in front of her before she wraps them around her middle like she’s trying to protect herself or maybe disappear into thin air. Colton gives her a curious look like maybe she isn’t well and doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the fact. I just want to take my son and run anywhere but here. “Nice to meet you,” I see her mutter. I can only imagine what she sounds like. “And this is Jake, Carter’s dad,” I motion to Jake and sign, needing to draw the attention away from Veronica who isn’t much of an actress at the moment, even though it had been her dream to become one a lifetime ago. Jake gives Colton a warm smile and extends a hand, nodding his head since he doesn’t like to use his voice. Colton eyes Jake warily. I see the questions dancing in his eyes as he wonders if I told him the truth about why Jake and I were holding hands. When they break their handshake, Jake signs for me to say that I should tell Colton he has nothing to worry about. That he was just trying to console me since I was sad. I give Jake a loving grin. And I go on to deliver the message.

“Thanks for clarifying that. I appreciate it.” Colton’s hardened demeanor softens as he gives Jake a small smirk. I relay the message to Jake through ASL. “Sorry to interrupt,” Veronica says. “We should get going. We have our reservation…Carter is looking forward,” she says, and I know it’s her way of getting us away from Colton and this more than awkward situation. I go along with her story as my need to flee is heightened. My heart is hammering too fast in my chest, and I fear fainting. “Colton, can we talk later? We have plans,” I explain, feeling my stomach sink. He deserves so much more of an explanation from me. Hell, he deserves an invitation to eat out with us. Only I can’t do that because the whole situation is too overwhelming. I’m just relieved that Carter doesn’t cut in or call out that there is no actual reservation. “Um, yeah… sure okay,” Colton says with both hands tucked into the front pockets of his khakis. “You’ll text me later?” he asks looking at me with a hopeful gleam in his eyes and all I can think is that I’m a fraud. A horrible terrible no good fraud. I’ve lied to this good-looking, powerful man that doesn’t open his heart, but opened it to me. I nod and lean up to give him a kiss on the cheek, and his face lightens. My heart skips a beat from the scent of his cologne and the mere contact of touching him. “Bye Colton,” I whisper close to

his ear. This needs to be goodbye because our situation is too complicated. Our relationship was doomed from the start. “Yeah,” he says, and his mood is somber almost like he can read my mind. “Nice meeting you all. Stay cool, Carter.” He gives my son a high five and turns to look at me one more time. His gaze is too much, filled with emotion that pierces right through me. As much as I want to reach out to him, I can’t. Not now. Veronica just acted like there was something very wrong with her. Jake is eyeing his mother like she’s lost it and me carrying this burden of truth is just too much to handle. I motion for Carter to follow me. Veronica immediately signs, “Let’s go.” Veronica, Jake, Carter and myself walk away from the Navy Pier like the cops are after us. Jake and Carter are asking continuously what’s wrong. Veronica doesn’t say anything, so I opt to keep my mouth shut too. When we reach the street, I tell Jake and Veronica that Carter and I will catch an Uber home. “But Grandma said we were going for pizza.” Carter pushes out his lower lip. I guess he must sound whiny. “Sorry, not tonight.” Veronica smiles and pats his head. “Grandma is a little under the weather. I’ll take you for pizza soon.” Carter scrunches his brows together and makes an adorable, but angry face. He usually uses that

look to get his way with me. To his credit, I have a hard time saying no in general to him. He’s a good kid. “Fine, we can order in,” I concede. “Please let’s just go home,” I say, and it doesn’t fly past me that me and Veronica are only using words, and not signing which means we have left Jake out of the conversation. He is going to have some choice words for his mother very soon, and I’d rather not be around when that happens. I reach over to hug Jake. “I’ll text you later,” I motion to him. “You better because I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and my mother but I want answers,” he signs abruptly. I wince. I was expecting that. I don’t know what Veronica is going to do, but I’m leaving the ball in her court. Veronica gives me a terrified look. I lean in and give her a hug and whisper, “Good luck,” in her ear. She gives me a knowing look. Then I take my son by the hand and walk two blocks needing the distance before I call the Uber car. “Mom, what’s going on?” “Nothing honey, don’t worry about it. Everything is going to be fine.” I give my son a strong hug holding him close to my heart. As I say the words, I want to believe them, but I know things aren’t going to be fine. They are going to blow up, and I don’t know how we are all going to deal with the repercussions of what they mean.

Chapter Twenty-Eight Evie It’s past midnight, and I haven’t heard from Jake or Colton. Colton probably thought that I have a nutty family, which isn’t the end of the world. I do wish he would have made contact tonight as I don’t know what to do about us, but knowing that he’s making an announcement soon makes me feel like I’ll lose him forever. And Jake, poor Jake. He’s been lied to his entire life by his mother. The one person that should have never lied to him even though she did it to protect him. I guess Veronica told him the truth. I don’t think there was any way for her to get out of it, which makes me wonder why Jake hasn’t made contact. Maybe he hates me for knowing the truth and not telling him. Maybe he hates me for falling in love with his older brother. Unable to call him I settle for a text message instead. Where are you? I’m worried. Not a moment later, the red light at the entrance to my house flashes indicating there is someone at my door. My immediate response is alarm thinking

there is some creepy stranger by my door late at night, but then I receive another message. Open. It’s me. Relief washes over me. He came to me. He doesn’t hate me. I can be there for him. Everything will be okay. Many thoughts scroll through my mind as I make my way to the front door in an oversized New York T-shirt that hits just above my knees. Jake and I went to New York just before we started college. It was a great trip. This T-shirt is all scraggly and old, but it reminds me of good times. I open the door and wave him in. If I was feeling relief a moment ago, I’m now drowned with worry. By the sway in Jake’s walk, he must be very drunk and he isn’t much of a drinker. “What’s going on?” I sign, needing to figure out exactly what he knows. He laughs. I’m not sure about his volume; maybe he’s completely quiet. But I swat him in the chest and tell him to keep it down because Carter is sleeping. Besides, I don’t need him to see his father falling all over the place like a fool. He signs, “I was waiting outside. Not sure I should come in. Then you texted,” he says and holds onto the wall at the entrance to my kitchen. “I should get you water.” “No, I don’t want water. It’s funny, but I like being drunk right now. It’s better than feeling the pain of learning that I wasn’t a test tube baby. That

I had a father that didn’t want a deaf child,” he finishes and stumbles his way in the dark to the couch in my family room. My heart beats fast as I worry that he’ll fall or break something along the way, and I will need to explain to Carter why his father is a drunk mess. I follow him, then take his hand. He looks back at me with tear filled eyes and my floodgates open as I pull him into me to hug him. I hate this for him. I hate it for anyone. No one should feel rejected by a parent. Parents should be all accepting. I pull away. “I’m so sorry, Jake.” I allow my hands to drop, then sign. He nods his head, and his lips twist leaving me confused. “I didn’t expect you of all people to keep such a secret from me. I thought we had no secrets,” he signs. “We don’t have secrets. That wasn’t my secret to tell. It was your mother’s. She made me promise. Besides I would never do anything to put you or Carter in danger.” He waves me off and almost loses his balance as he stands from the couch. I take his hand and pull him back. He falls back into the couch the softness of the cushions breaking his fall. He turns to look at me, and he picks up my hand. I’m confused because his face twists. “My older brother, huh? I apparently am

damaged goods. Is that why I’m not good enough? Yet the great Colton Mathis…you fall in love with him in what, like three weeks?” His question just about guts me. The way he signed those words, like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders, lets me know he’d given that statement a lot of thought. “Jake, what are you talking about?” I sign at a loss. “Don’t act all like you don’t know, Evie. I’ve been in love with you since high school, but I settled on being your best friend. I’ve done everything to ensure your happiness and what? Am I not good-looking enough, not kind enough…” he signs with such abrupt actions, and I feel so overwhelmed, like I may faint. “Jake, stop, where is this coming from?” I shoot up from the couch feeling antsy and pace a moment before returning my attention to him. “What are you talking about? Is this the alcohol talking?” I ask because I’m at a loss. There is no way Jake spent the last fifteen years secretly in love with me. He shoots up from the couch then stalks away from me before spinning back around. I’m getting dizzy just watching his abrupt actions. “Is that what you need to believe?” he signs, only I see his lips moving. He’s talking. Jake doesn’t do talking. “Jake.” I feel completely helpless. “You don’t know what to do, do you?” he says, and he closes the space between us, and suddenly

he’s kissing me. I taste the vodka and maybe something else on his breath. His tongue slides into my mouth, and I don’t know what to do, this is Jake. I love him, just not in that way. Before I register what to do I’m pressing his shoulders away from me. “Not good enough, huh?” he signs, and I see the hurt in his glare when he looks back at me. It makes me think of all the times I told him about dates I was going on. Yes, he was protective, but he always gave me a reason why they weren’t good enough for me, and I, like a fool, didn’t read between the lines. Shit, I felt stupid, like a grade A asshole. “I’m sick of this,” he suddenly snaps his hands in the air. He turns toward the front door and stalks off. I run after him and just as he turns the knob getting ready to leave, I force him to look at me. “Stay, sleep it off,” I urge. I can’t let him wander the streets in his current state. “Why? What the hell for? This feels too good, Evie. I get to say and do what’s on my mind. I’ve put my life on hold for too long. I’ve had enough. This deaf man is going to do whatever the hell he wants,” he signs then taps his chest and nods his head, then he stalks out the door. I don’t know what he’s talking about. I think the alcohol has completely blurred his senses. I can’t go to sleep now, so I pour myself a glass of water and sit at my kitchen table in the dark. My

life feels like a colossal disaster. How did I not know that Jake was in love with me? I think back to his reaction when I told him I was pregnant. He was happy, supportive. He was hoping we could be a family. How could everything be so messed up now? How many times have I thought - if only I loved Jake, life would be less complicated. My son would have his mother and father under one roof. Problem is we can’t control who we love. As I think of the hurt in the depths of Jake’s soulful eyes, I think about my feelings for Colton, and a cold shiver runs through my body leaving goosebumps in its track. Jake has never looked at me like that before; it makes me feel so empty, stupid, hurt like I should have known, like I took his kind nature for granted. I walk back to my bedroom and without thinking I pick up my phone and text Colton. I know it’s a selfish move, but my world has been turned upside down. I need you I text the three words and press send. There is no taking them back now. I wait one minute, two, five, ten and there is no reply. Maybe he’s had enough of me too. He put his heart on the line, and I rejected him. If I truly loved him, I should’ve stood up and supported him. When he told me his plans, I should’ve said I’ll be there beside you always. Only I didn’t do that and maybe

that goodbye at the Navy Pier today was our last goodbye. I slide under the blankets and stare into space wondering why my life is always so colossally fucked up. I stare out the window in my bedroom into the midnight blue sky to the yellow stars sparkling in the dark. A star stands out from the rest, and I look at it and make a wish. I used to do that when I was little, hoping my wishes would bring my mother back to me. Only those wishes never came true. Suddenly my phone lights up. It’s a text from Colton. I take a breath feeling like I was holding it since I sent him that message of I need you. I don’t like to feel vulnerable. I like to behave strong so that I can handle life’s kicks and punches. Being a single mom made me want to keep an armor up around me but those three words…I need you… they dissolved the armor, they say I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m at your door. Four words that put the broken pieces of my world back together. I flip my sheets off me and charge toward the door. I can’t unlock it fast enough, and when I do, I see the man who takes my breath away. He’s standing in a suit. The top buttons of his dress shirt undone. A tie slung around his neck and his suit jacket hanging open. His usually electric blue eyes look tired yet when they

gaze at me hot and wanting I feel that simmer ignite between my legs. “Hey, I just finished up a meeting with Al. The press conference is tomorrow,” he pauses and looks at his watch. “Scratch that. Today.” His lips quirk up into a wry smile. Before he can say another word, I lunge toward him wrapping my arms around his neck. I’m drowning, and I need Colton to stay afloat. I press my lips to his, and he doesn’t hesitate as he wraps both of his very strong arms around me and pulls me close to him. Our kiss is hungry, needy and tells me that he’s missed me as much as I missed him. He walks me into my apartment, and I pull away from him. Both of us are panting from need and lack of air. “We should go to the bedroom,” I say. He eyes me curiously like I’ve just asked him a trivia question. “Isn’t Carter here tonight?” “He is, and I want you in my bed,” I say since he needs the confirmation. His gaze drops to my breasts. “Nice shirt.” He’s unusually playful or maybe he’s being hard to get after I pushed him away. Whatever angles he’s playing I’m so turned on I feel like I can combust. My nipples peek through the thin fabric of my nightshirt, and his gaze drops to my chest. His eyes turn to molten lava and his nostrils flare. It’s so freaking sexy on him. He holds up a finger like he knows I want to

lunge at him again. “Just to confirm I understood you…Carter is here, and I can spend the night in your bed,” he says, but I’m sure it’s a question. “When we first started dating I didn’t want to give my son the wrong impression with having you stay over,” I whisper. “Now I want you in our lives. I want us to be serious about each other. I’m okay with Carter knowing I love you, that I want to be with you,” I say, and I don’t know if it’s because Jake knows the truth, but I felt desperate right now, and terrified about losing this man, the only man I’ve ever truly loved. “I love you, Evie,” he says, and then stalks toward me sweeping me off my feet. He carries me to my bedroom and kicks the door closed. Then he places me softly on my pillow. “You have no idea how much I missed you,” he says as he works the buttons on his dress shirt. I lie back on the bed and watch him. This gorgeous man, who wants me, loves me, for who I am. His shirt slides off his shoulders along with the tie, revealing his chiseled chest and strong arms. He gets to work on his trousers unbuttoning and unzipping them before pulling them off. When he removes his boxers, I stare at his fully erect cock and saliva pools in my mouth. I swallow hard as my belly clenches at the thought of him putting his dick inside me and the way he feels when he moves in and out of me. As he walks toward the bed, I slip off my nightshirt

and feel a cool breeze against my skin. That problem is rectified as Colton moves on the bed and covers my body with his. In bed, we don’t need words to communicate, our bodies say everything that we are feeling. With the warmth of his body over mine, we begin to kiss. His tongue moves in harmony with mine, our bodies pressed together. His cock moves between my legs teasing me. He stops to look at me “You feel so wet, so good.” I press my hips up needing to feel his silkysmooth cock against my folds. “If you want me, I won’t make you wait.” He smiles devilishly. “I want you,” I sigh. With one swift movement, he slides inside me. My head tilts back, and my mouth hangs open as he begins to move inside me. He feels so good, hitting all the right spots as he moves in and out of me at a steady pace. I wrap my arms around his broad back and tilt my hips, so I’m meeting him thrust for hungry thrust. Tonight, our lovemaking isn’t about commands or domination; it’s about two people who love each other coming together as equals. And I love this about Colton, how he can go from being a dirty lover to being a sweet lover. He’s everything that I need and all that I’ve ever wanted. Colton makes love to me sweetly all night until the sun rises. And in the light of day, I only

pray that I don’t lose this man. “Tell me what it was like growing up in California?” he asks, running his hand slowly up and down my arm in a sweet caress. “Well, there was the beach close by, that was always nice,” I answer, knowing he wants more. The problem I was having was giving him more, opening up, and speaking of my childhood wasn’t easy. Who wanted to reopen a gaping wound? Feeling the burn slice through your skin again? No one wants to do that yet he needs to know me, and I wanted him to know that part of me. “Evie, come on.” He gives me a look that says he wants more information. “Okay,” I inhale a long breath. “Grandpa Jack worked in a bottle making company. He was up at the crack of dawn. That meant I made my breakfast and lunches. Grandpa Jack taught me how to make everything for when I was on my own.” “What did you make for breakfast?” he asks, looking at me intently. “Geez! You want a lot of detail,” I answered with sarcasm. I found his interest to be endearing. No one ever really wanted to get to know me inside out the way Colton does. “Nothing too exciting…Captain Crunch, Fruit Loops, Sugar Crisp. Whatever sugary cereal Grandpa would pick up that week. Lunch was ham and cheese, and when we ran out of ham then just a

regular old cheese sandwich. Grandpa wasn’t a rich man. He injured his leg in the war. By the time I came to live with him, he was in his late fifties, tired ,and burned out. I think he saw his retirement on the horizon and then he took me in. Taking care of me was an extra expense. He continued to work, he didn’t complain though, he was always kind, but he was also old fashioned. My father’s mother raised my father. She had done all the traditional stuff, so Grandpa Jack was clued out. I mean totally useless, so I quickly learned to do our laundry and clean our apartment,” I explained. “My childhood wasn’t filled with exciting times. I matured early because of life circumstances. My teachers always told me that I was a little adult, but it wasn’t by choice. I did those things to get by,” I explained, and Colton suddenly seemed withdrawn. Then he snapped out of his trance. “I’m sorry, that sounds tough. I mean you must think I’m a spoiled brat.” He grinned, but his grin bled the selfdeprecation he felt. “You’re a good man, Colton. It isn’t a curse to be born into a rich family, though most of us aren’t.” I caressed his jawline and enjoyed the prickly feeling of his five o’clock shadow. “And what about Jake and Veronica? When did they enter the picture?” I smile remembering the first day I met Jake. “We were well into our freshman year. We were

both attending a school for the deaf. Grandpa was already in his mid-sixties. If he was tired when I landed on his doorstep, then he was ready just to kick back and enjoy life when I got to high school. The bottling company provided him with a modest retirement package, but again it wasn’t enough to sustain the two of us. I wanted to get a job, but given I was only fifteen, I knew it would be hard to find something. I went to the guidance counselor’s office at school one day. I was holding a stack of books in front of me because my backpack had just given out and the strap ripped. Jake didn’t see me rounding the corner and slammed right into me. My books fell to the floor. Jake helped me pick them up and introduced himself. We got to talking…well you know communicating, and it turned out he and his mom lived only a few blocks away from Grandpa Jack and me. “He invited me to dinner to make up for slamming into me. I agreed. I fell in love with Veronica instantly, she was warm and welcoming. I ached for a mother figure for so long, and Veronica slipped into the role seamlessly. Grandpa Jack had always been a man of few words, and so life at home was always very quiet. Once I met Jake, I hung out at his house all the time. Veronica was fun and young. She gave me advice about boys…” “And what about Jake? I mean I would think at the very least, he had a crush on you. Did you guys

never get together?” Colton asked, his forehead creased and his cool blue eyes etched with worry. It made my stomach sink thinking of Jake’s confession to me earlier tonight. I didn’t see a purpose in sharing it with Colton. Nothing was going to materialize because of it. “No, I mean in high school we didn’t. I had boyfriends, and he had girlfriends, then when it came time to apply to college, Jake decided he wanted to attend a regular college with an interpreter. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was just scared of losing Jake and Veronica. Jake wanted to go to a college on the east coast, so that’s where we went. Veronica was in love with California, so she stayed behind,” I explained, noticing Colton’s lips pressed together into a thin line. “What is it?” I asked, caressing his strong hands. They were big manly hands, but they felt smooth not needing to do any manual labor. “Veronica, she…how do I put this nicely? I mean you seem to look up to her…it’s just that she was acting…” he paused. “Wacky?” I finished the sentence for him. If I was going to cover up the secret, I needed to downplay, or at least make fun of Veronica’s strange behavior at the Navy Pier yesterday. “I guess you could say that,” he confirmed. “I think Veronica hoped Jake and I would eventually end up together. I don’t think she likes

the fact that you and me got close, so fast. It’s making her nervous. She isn’t always so flaky, I promise. You caught her on a bad day,” I finish the sentence as I stare square into his aqua blue eyes, lying to him, I hate myself in this moment, although what I said was only a partial lie. “Carter’s got Veronica’s blue eyes,” Colton says out of the blue. His comment jars me. I have blue eyes, but mine are a dark blue, on some days I’m told they look grey. Veronica’s eyes are a crystal blue, a blue that seems translucent, a blue so much like Colton’s. My thoughts feel stuck in my throat, blocking my airway. I can’t continue this charade much longer if Veronica isn’t planning to tell Colton, I will have to. He’s a reasonable man. I’m sure Colton can take proper precautions to protect himself. He has security detail around most of the time anyway. “Yes, I know,” I confirm what Colton said about Veronica’s eyes. He pauses and seems deep in thought. Then he turns his head and presses a kiss to my forehead. When he pulls back he says, “Thank you, Evie, thank you for sharing that part of your past with me.” I nod. “Of course.” I smile, I just can’t help the sinking feeling in my gut because as much as Colton and I are drifting together there is a very serious crater pulling us apart. Only he doesn’t

know it. I have to speak with Veronica. Jake knows the truth, but I have to know if she plans on telling Colton. If she does, everything between Colton and I will change in a heartbeat.

Chapter Twenty-Nine Evie The next morning, I can’t get to school fast enough. I drop Carter off at his before-school program and make it to my school twenty minutes before the bell. I had gotten out of bed a few times last night to text Jake, but he didn’t return any of my messages, and they all turned up only delivered not read. Again, I found myself charging toward the gym office, the feel of my stilettos hitting the floor heavily, yet silently in my world. Jake was so drunk last night. It gutted me how heartbroken he was. He would be hungover today, and I wanted to see for myself that he was okay. I round the gym office and immediately see one of Jake’s assistants, Bradley. I sign, asking him if Jake has come in yet. He replies that he just went to the office to check in and saw that Jake called in sick today. A substitute teacher is on their way to the gym to cover his class. My chest tightens as the need to find Jake overwhelms me. Problem is I can’t run out on my classes. Not on such short

notice. I begin to walk back to my classroom when I bump into Cathy, she is a twelfth-grade philosophy teacher, who only works part-time, so she has some spare time in her schedule. “Cathy, oh good, are you free first period?” I sign abruptly while feeling a little breathless. She eyes me curiously. “Yes, I’m off first and second period. I came in to help out with the play third period.” She waits for my explanation. I blow out a breath. “Can you cover my class for me? I normally would never ask, but I have a family emergency.” She frowns. “Is everything okay with Carter?” “Carter is fine. I just really need to go.” I wave my hands frantically trying to communicate. I don’t want to share my life secrets with her. She motions for me to be on my way and I don’t miss a heartbeat speedwalking back to my class to get my car keys. Geez! I didn’t even go over my morning schedule with her. Lucky my binders are all in order. I pull out this morning’s lessons and lay them front and center on my desk. Then I leave her a small note before taking off. As I walk back to my car, I send Veronica a text. Have you heard from Jake this morning? Her reply comes almost instantly. No, I’m terrified, Evie. He was so mad. So so mad. He didn’t come home last night. He still isn’t home. Where could he be?

By her message, I can only imagine how frantic she is. I can only think of one place Jake would go. I shoot a quick text to our friend Harvey. He’s a full-time lawyer who grew up with a deaf sister, Carolyn. I’m good friends with Carolyn. Jake used to hang out with us and became friends with Harvey. They were close enough that Jake would turn to him if he need be. A moment after sending Harvey a text, the dots on my screen are rolling. I’m grateful that Harvey was replying right away. He’s here. Don’t tell him I told you. He’s in a pissy mood. I’m sure he wasn’t pleased. Just thinking of the look on his face last night when he confessed his feelings to me just about gutted me. I hate that I don’t return those feelings. Yet relief washes over me knowing Jake is with Harvey and not on the street. I make it to Harvey’s bachelor pad in record time since it’s just past the time where morning traffic is easing up. Parking is a real feat in this part of town, so I pay for parking connected to a popular restaurant across the street. I also forgot to check the weather this morning. The sky is grey, and a crisp chill penetrates the thin blouse I’m wearing causing me to shiver. I walk briskly across the street, my arms folded across my chest as I make my way over to

the building where Harvey lives. In the elevator, I run a few scenarios in my head about how I want to deal with Jake’s confession last night. I don’t return his feelings, but I still love him as a cherished friend. Worst of all, I fear our relationship will never be the same, that somehow over time he has become angry with me, maybe impatient. I’m terrified that I’ve ruined his pure heart by simply not seeing what was apparently right in front of me this whole time. I feel like a big idiot. I take a few small breaths and knock on Harvey’s apartment door. It doesn’t take him long to open, and when he does, his hazel eyes turn wide like he’s shocked to see me. “Evie, what the hell are you doing here?” he speaks and signs at the same time. I roll my eyes at Harvey. He can be a real goof sometimes. “Come on in.” He motions and I walk past Harvey into his large apartment. He has so much space. It doesn’t take long for my gaze to fall on Jake sitting on the couch leaning on his side, his hand supporting his head like he’s deep in thought. He doesn’t look up to me when I’m standing right in front of him which makes my stomach sink. I tap his shoulder to get his attention even though I know he feels my presence hovering over him. “I was worried about you,” I sign. Harvey stands behind the couch and shrugs his shoulders. I look up to him for a moment, and he points, then mouths

that he will be in his office. I’m a little more relaxed having this conversation in private. I’m not sure how much Jake shared with Harvey. Jake looks a disheveled mess with his brown hair sticking up in different directions, his grey Tshirt has dirty spots, his jeans sit low on his waist, and he’s barefoot. “You shouldn’t be worried about me, I’m a grown man, I can take care of myself,” he answers finally, looking up to me and signing; only his eyes don’t meet mine like he can’t bear to even look at me. “Jake, please.” I give him a sympathetic look. “No matter what, you’re my best friend, the father of my child. I can only imagine what you’re feeling,” I sign, but he stands from the couch and stalks away from me. I feel out of my element. Sure, Jake and I have had some disagreements over the years. It’s only natural given how close we are. In the past, there was anger, sorrow, and then it was over. This time Jake looks deeply hurt, his world has turned on him, and I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does. Not only did I betray his trust, but his mother and a father he never thought he had, did too. I follow him toward Harvey’s kitchen just a few steps behind. He opens the fridge and pulls out a container of lemonade. I wince thinking it must taste gross after a hangover. Jake flinches too, and our eyes finally meet. He places the carton back in the fridge, and a crooked smile

splays on his lips. I don’t know why, but that simple small gesture gives me some hope. “That’s all Harvey has, and I already puked my guts up, no more to puke,” he signs, and shrugs. At least he’s communicating with me. I wince again and give him a sorrowful look. “Don’t look at me like that, Evie, I was drunk. I’m sorry for kissing you last night. Don’t make it into something it isn’t,” he signs. I get ready to sign back, but he lifts a hand. “Don’t, okay.” He blows out a breath. “I know you. You want to dissect every little thing I said. Okay…” He stops to run both hands through his unkempt hair. “I have feelings for you, is that what you want me to admit? How could I not?” he signs, and my heart stutters at his gesture. “I get it though, you don’t see me in that way. Maybe it will finally sink in, and I can move on. I don’t want there to be any bad feelings between us. It wouldn’t be good for Carter,” he signs, sounding so matter of fact like he’s given this a lot of thought. I can’t argue with him, and he’s right. What’s the point in dissecting this I don’t share his feelings? I ram myself into him a little too harshly needing to hug him, thankful that he is such an understanding, and kind soul. “What would I do without you?” I say, but with my arms wrapped around him, I know he couldn’t hear me or see my lips. He presses his nose into my hair like he usually

does when I hug him. I realize that he’s smelling my hair as if enjoying my scent. It makes the situation feel awkward. I pull away but try not to be awkward about it. Over the years I had thought of the possibility of Jake and me. How could I not? He’s handsome and kind. We get along so well. I just never felt that spark. I wanted to feel it though. I’m pretty sure that’s what happened the night we conceived Carter. We both maybe always wondered, and the alcohol gave us the courage actually to try and as special as the night was, it wasn’t earth-shattering sex. Not the way it is with Colton. Maybe if Colton never came into my life, then I wouldn’t know that kind of electricity exists. But I met Colton and fell in love. I could never just settle, and it wouldn’t be fair to Jake anyway. I only hope he finds the right woman one day to share that kind of electricity. He gives me a guilty smile like he knows I caught him smelling my hair. “Some habits die hard. Don’t worry I’ll be fine. What I’m not fine with is you and my mother lying to me, more so my mother since she knew the truth.” I let out a long sigh. “I was so shocked too.” I follow Jake back to the central area of the apartment and take a seat beside him on the plush couch. I’m glad we’ve eased back into our old ways, the tension from earlier seems to have dissipated. I take a quick glance around Harvey’s

apartment. It’s decorated to the nines. “It’s nice here,” I sign. Jake gives me a look that tells me he agrees and we both smile at each other. The moment passes, and I need to ask him how he feels about his mother’s revelation because it’s something that has been weighing heavily on me since the moment she told me. “I just can’t believe I was born in this city, that the Mathis’ are my family. No scratch that, he didn’t want me.” “Oh, Jake.” My heart goes out to him. “I know exactly how you’re feeling.” He gives me a look that’s filled with understanding. “I know Evie, I know,” he signs, and he just seems so sad. Like a black cloud is hanging over us following us everywhere we go. A moment later, Harvey comes running out of his office and signs, “You guys gotta see this,” he picks up the remote control to his TV and turns it on. Then he flips a few channels and fidgets. The subtitles come on. Colton’s face is on TV. Butterflies float in my stomach like they usually do when I see him. He’s holding the press conference he said he would. He’s wearing a dark blue suit, crisp white shirt, and red tie. His brown hair is slicked back, and he looks every bit the powerful man that he is, poised and direct. He’s giving a speech announcing that he will run for the office of

the president. At the end of his speech, his lips quirked up on one side, and he gives the press what looks to me like a panty melting grin. I only wonder how many women are watching the broadcast and swooning over their candidate. He’s charming, smooth, and he wants to make a difference. Someone asks him if the Mathis family is backing his campaign. I know they aren’t. Colton isn’t very close to them since he didn’t enter the family business and took the route of lawyer and politics instead. He smiles and answers “No, the Mathis family will not have anything to do with his campaign.” He goes on to say that he plans on running a clean campaign and wants to focus on the issues relevant to the heart and soul of the American people. A bunch of cameras go off. Another reporter asks, “Is it true that you were recently reunited with your long-lost mother?” The question comes up on the screen and my heart jolts. Oh no! Poor Colton…not like this. He shouldn’t find out like this…. “Excuse me, Sir. I don’t know what you are talking about,” Colton answers coolly, his voice steady like he hasn’t just been smacked out of nowhere with that information. I watch as he looks over to the side where Al and his father are standing. Neither of them makes a move. “Next question please,” Colton redirects his attention to the press as if that last question just didn’t come out

of left field. “Is it true you have a brother you didn’t know about?” another member of the press asks. Colton gets a deer-in-the-headlights look before looking completely confused. Oh, my! How did the media catch on to this? “I’m not sure what you are talking about,” he responds, and it’s clear he doesn’t have a clue. Someone motions something then steps in front of Colton. She’s a woman wearing a tailored purple suit. She looks manicured and smiles to the cameras. “Thank you for coming out today,” she says. I notice Colton off to the side of the stage, being rushed off by what looks like someone from his security detail. My heart is palpitating so hard in my chest as I try to figure out what all this means. Who leaked the story to the media? Why would they do such a thing? I feel like I’m going to be sick right here all over Harvey’s new shag carpet. I turn to look at Jake, and he seems just as confused as I am. “I don’t know, Evie. When Mom told me yesterday, she told me that she had no intention of ever telling Colton. She believes James will kill her if she does. I’m mad at my mother but I sure as hell don’t want her dead. In the light of day, I know she did her best to protect me. How can I hate her for that? James Mathis my…” Jake pauses his movements and spits the word father out of his lips.

I can only imagine how jilted it sounds. “James Mathis is the devil, Evie, and I want to hate Colton because he had it easy, he grew up with money, he didn’t have to worry about rent or food like we did, and yet he didn’t ask for that life. He didn’t ask to be raised by a crazed man. I feel sorry for the guy.” “Sorry doesn’t even begin to sum it up, Jake. Veronica needs to speak to him now before the media runs the story. She has to do it before they have a chance to lie. He deserves to know that he had a mother that wanted him, he grew up feeling like me, unwanted, unloved.” Jake’s lips turned down. “You were never unloved.” I reach out to touch Jake’s shoulder then sign. “You know what I mean Jake, you know how I felt about my mother walking out on me, you know I carried the burden of feeling damaged and not good enough. I felt relief that Veronica told you that you were the product of a sperm sample, because it meant she wanted you badly enough to go through the process of having you, and raising you all on her own.” “Shit, guys you’re killing me here.” Harvey takes a step forward, and his eyes look a little glossy. I forgot he was even standing there. “Harvey, are you crying?” I sign, trying to hold back a spit of laughter. Nothing about this is funny at all. It’s just that Harvey is this serious guy who

rarely shows emotion. The fact that he is now, just speaks to the gravity of the situation. He waves us off then signs, “If you ever say anything to Carolyn, I swear I’ll deny it and call you guys liars.” For some reason, his silly statement cuts through the tension of the moment and the three of us burst into hysteric laughter, maybe because it’s easier to laugh than to cry. The repercussions of today’s press conference could be serious for all of us. If Colton doesn’t know the truth yet, he will soon. I can only imagine he will turn his back on me, and I don’t know how I can learn to live without him.

Chapter Thirty Colton My head is spinning as a member of my security detail ushers me off the stage and into a back hall that leads out to the town car waiting for me. My father and Al are already inside. “What the fuck is going on?” I look at both Al and my father. “Why wasn’t I prepared for that ambush? What the hell were they talking about?” I shoot off questions not giving them a chance to answer. “I don’t have a fucking clue,” Al says looking a little queasy. He turns his head to my father and both of us stare him down waiting for an answer. My father’s jaw tenses and his brown eyes look almost black. “Father?” I ask, and he passes me his phone. “This article is going to print as we speak,” he says not sounding very amused. On the front page of The Sun is Evie sitting in a coffee shop with Veronica. My initial response is what has my father done now? The picture shows both Veronica and Evie speaking with their elbows on the table as if to

block outsiders from the conversation. My eyes drop to the headline Breaking Story: Sun Exclusive Just as Colton Mathis is about to announce his intention to run for president, his hot redhead fling conspires with the woman who ran off on him when he was a little boy. My heart falters as I read those first words and I know my father couldn’t have had anything to do with this. How could Evie be involved in this scandal? Had she set out to hurt me from the start? I didn’t want to believe the words I read but they were right there in front of me in black and white. I continue to read, unable to stop myself. Colton’s parents James and Victoria Mathis wed on June 5, 1983. James, a member of the renown Mathis family, fell in love with the up and coming actress Victoria Davis, a beauty in her own right. Off to the side is a picture of a younger Veronica. James Mathis, a prominent defense attorney and partner, at the Mathis and Lowry law firm in Chicago had political aspirations. The young Mathis family grew as Victoria gave birth to her first son Colton, and three years later to Jake James. They were a picture-perfect family on the surface. Wealthy, beautiful but there wouldn’t be a happily ever after for this family. James had been accused of having numerous affairs with other lawyers in his firm. We followed up with one of his ex-lovers a secretary from his firm yesterday and asked her to

comment. She said, “James will always be special to me.” Did that confirm their love affair? We will leave it up to the people to decide. And Victoria. Rumor is she was having an affair too. Who knew there was so much drama among America’s wealthiest families? The family faced a crisis in 1989 when a fire destroyed the family mansion. After that, any trace of Victoria Davis and her son Jake James was erased. James Mathis used his connections to erase the existence of his wife and son. We’ve consulted with an expert of the FBI who wishes to remain anonymous, and he admitted it was very easy to erase someone’s existence. In fact, this is a common occurrence within the FBI when an agent needs to go dark, or a person or family enters the witness protection program. Given James Mathis’s wealth and connections, he had all the right tools to make that happen, (FBI agent, Anonymous). My heart is pounding as I read the article word for word. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. I kept reading despite the fact that I knew that this particular media outlet had a reputation for delivering facts that were untrue and adding their own two cents on the issue. Do you the people of the United States of America want someone from such a corrupt family running to be the next president of our great country? Think long and hard my fellow

Americans. Don’t make a mistake that will bring our nation to ruin. At the bottom of that paragraph is a picture of me leaving Evie’s house this morning. Jesus Christ! Evie…Veronica…Jake…what were the chances? Did Evie know? Had she done this to me on purpose? Was she hired by my opposition campaign to infiltrate my life and bring me down? I whip my father’s phone back at him then yell at the driver to stop the car. “No…” my father cut in. “This story is hitting the press right about now. You will be bombarded. We need to get you to a safe place,” my father says as if he genuinely has any concern for me. He is a fucking liar. Everybody around me is a fucking liar. I have to get away from them all. “Stop the car now,” I shout. “Or I’m jumping out.” My father lifts his hand to the driver to stop. Even now in my fucking demise, he is calling the shots. I can’t even look at him. I don’t know how much of the article I read was true, but I know it had shreds of truth and if that is the case, I hate the man sitting in front of me. With the car stopped I ask my father a few more questions. “How did I have a brother and not remember him?” I snap. My father shrugs his shoulders. “You were traumatized by the fire. Your therapist said that

your mind blocked out the trauma. I guess somehow you blocked Jake out too.” “Why did Jake and my mother have to leave?” My heart breaks as I ask the question, feeling nothing but pure contempt for the man in front of me. He sold himself as if he were my guardian angel giving me the best life and wanting me to succeed, but in reality, he used me to gain power. A game of chess where he knocked out all the players until he was the last man standing. That’s why he discussed the future with me last night. He told me he wanted to be my Chief of Staff if I won the presidency. My natural answer had been, of course. This man didn’t care about me. He was a power hungry selfish jerk. He wanted to rule this country through me, to achieve through me what he couldn’t do on his own. I felt sick to my stomach. “She was having an affair, Colton,” he sighs heavily, trying to make himself look the victim. As if I should feel any sympathy for him. He was a good actor I’d give him that. “Cut the bullshit Father so were you,” I spit back. “Fair enough,” he shrugs. “But I wasn’t even sure Jake was mine. I don’t think he is.” My father purses his lips together. Jake’s face came to the front of my thoughts and hung there like a picture in a frame. My mind is reeling as I remember his facial features. He is my father’s son. He looks

more like my father than I do. A cold shiver runs up my spine at the thought. “So why? Why did you take her away from me?” I scream so loud it ached in the back of my throat. My father’s face reddens as his words boomed through the car. “He was deaf Colton. There was nothing we could do to help him. I wanted to run for state attorney; only your mother couldn’t stand by my side because we had an invalid son she had to care for.” At those words, I am so repulsed I lunge forward and grip my father’s neck. “And the truth prevails. You sicken me,” I say with my fingers digging into his neck. My loss of control terrifies me, but I’m so lost in the pain of all the years of loneliness, for all the pain I felt for a brother I didn’t know, that I wanted to kill my father. His face turns beet red and I know I am cutting off his oxygen. “Colton, man, don’t do this.” I hadn’t realized Al was trying to pry my hands off my father until he said my name, but the anger and pain still ruled. I want him dead. All the years of guilt I felt over him giving up everything for me was a sham. A sham…and I was the fool who played the part. I was his ticket to the White House. A fucking means to an end. “Colton ease the fuck up,” Al grits, finally ripping my hands off my father’s neck. I fall back

in my seat in a heap of ragged breathes. Feeling like the walls of the car are closing in on me, I throw the door open and get out of the car. As my feet hit the cement, I can’t get away from the car fast enough. Al comes after me. “Colton, wait,” he shouts, placing his hand on my shoulder. I don’t turn around, I only bark, “Go the fuck away.” “I didn’t know anything, man,” he pleads, keeping up pace with me. “I’m just as shocked as you,” he says, and I believe him. If anything, he had always been loyal, and he just saved me from killing my father. He stops following me. My mind is in a tailspin. I feel like I am walking through the eye of a hurricane. Everything is spinning around me with such force I don’t know which direction would be safe. It is now mid-afternoon, and bright outside. Anyone could recognize me. Fuck, I need to make myself scarce. I just announced my candidacy, and to be hit with a scandal like this is terrible news. The media would be all over me. I lift the lapels of my jacket, hoping to cover my face a little but it isn’t constructive. I am shaking from the inside out. I need to get off the street before someone recognizes me. I go to hide in an alley which probably isn’t the smartest thing to do, but my mind and heart are aching as I think of Evie and Carter.

Evie had known the truth about my past and didn’t tell me. After all those late-night talks. The way she spoke about Jake and Veronica. She had to have known the truth. I had opened up to her about my past. About the pain I harbored; about my mother leaving, and not once did she say, ‘Hey, your family is right here in fucking front of you.’ She had so many opportunities to come clean. Dammit, so many possibilities… she chose to lie. They all lie. There was no one I could trust. Everyone wanted a piece of me. I walk away from the alley and back out to the crowded street. It was only a matter of time before someone recognized me and took a picture of my location. The media would be on to me like vultures asking questions I didn’t entirely have the answers for. I call the only person I know won’t sell me out. She picks up after one ring. “Cassy, I need you to come and get me,” I say before she could even say hello. “Colton, for Christ’s sake where are you? This whole situation is awful.” “Get a paper and pen and write down this address. I will meet you there in twenty.” “On my way, darling. I’m so happy you called.”

Chapter Thirty-One Evie “Evie calm down,” Jake signs. “Holy fucking hell. Did that just happen?” Harvey signs then pulls his phone out of a pocket in his lounge pants. The room is spinning. Colton couldn’t have found out the truth in a worse way. I rush over to the couch and hang my head between my legs. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do if you feel like you’re going to faint? Harvey waves Jake over, and I notice out of the corner of my eye that they are reading something with a focused gaze on Harvey’s phone. “Oh, for Christ’s sakes,” I growl, but who knows how I sound. Harvey gives me a wary look as I walk over to him and Jake rips the phone right out of Harvey’s hand. My nerves are frayed, and I have no patience for games. What I see startles me to my core. A picture of Veronica and me at the coffee shop. We met at the Loop last Saturday. Someone must have overheard Veronica telling me the story. When in the hell did they have time to

take a picture? Looking at the picture makes me feel queasy. Jake walks over to me signing that I should sit down, that I look too pale. With Harvey’s phone in my hand, I fall back into his couch. As I read the article I’m cursing. Lies, so many lies. And Veronica is really Victoria? Jake’s middle name was James? I didn’t know Jake even had a middle name. I look up at him and sign the question. His answer is ‘no, no middle name.’ Our life is being dissected by the press, and they couldn’t even get our names straight. As the reality of what is happening sinks in, my nerves turn into full-blown anxiety. The press will hound me about this. Life as I know it will change, and Carter… poor innocent Carter has everyone he loves thrown under a bus with this article. The reporting was crass, untruthful and downright sleazy. Whoever wrote this article wanted to ensure that Colton didn’t run for the presidency, that was for certain. It makes me wonder if one of his opponents hired someone to follow me. You see that kind of thing happens all the time on television, and they must have gotten those ideas from real life. And worst of all, Colton is going to hate me after reading this article. Hell, it makes me look like it was me that wanted to bring down the great Colton Mathis. Colton, the man that taught me what love is, the man who got me to open up and share my heart

with him was going to see me in the mistrusting way he viewed all women. It was too much to bear, especially after the intimate moments we shared less than twelve hours before. How could life be so cruel and unpredictable? I had craved for love my entire life. Yes, I had Veronica,Jake and Carter, so I couldn’t complain. I wasn’t even close to feeling like I did when I was growing up. So lonely, desolate. I was lucky to have found a family, but it was Colton who I believed was my soul mate. I laugh at myself as I remember daydreaming about Colton and I getting married and having children one day. I hoped to give Carter siblings, and a family to count on long after Jake and I were gone. Now everything was shot to hell. I reach for my phone in my purse and pull it out. I need to text Colton. We need to speak. I have to explain. Before I can text Colton, I see a message from Veronica on my screen. Evie text me, please. Then another message. Evie this is very important, please make contact. Where are you, Evie? Evie please dear, make contact. Her messages are panicked. I text her back. Where are you? At Jake’s apartment. On my way.

I stand up to leave Harvey’s apartment forgetting completely that Jake and Harvey are there. Jake rushes after me as I make my way to the door and signs, “Where are you going?” “To see your mom at your house.” “I’m coming,” he signs. I look at his bare feet reminding him clearly that he needs shoes. He puts up his pointer finger then runs over to the back of Harvey’s apartment. A moment later he skips down the hall trying to get his shoes on while making his way over to the door. He signs thank you to Harvey, and Harvey claps him on the back, nodding his head and saying go take care of business. Jake and I barely speak as we make our way down the elevator. I wonder what emotions were conjured up for him while reading that article. It said that both his parents had affairs, but there was so much more the article didn’t mention. And there was the fact that Veronica was not his mother’s real name. We run across the street to my car parked in the restaurant parking lot, and I start the car, hastily needing to get to Veronica. The entire car ride Jake doesn’t make one gesture. He simply stares out the window. He is suddenly a part of a very screwed up family. I can’t imagine what is going through his mind. As we drive up to his apartment, it is hard not to notice the long line of vans, all with logos of

different news stations. On the sidewalk are even more reporters, cameramen, and women all waiting to get the right shot. All of them waiting to hound us about this breaking story. They don’t seem to care that we are real people who are hurting or who recently had their lives turned upside down. No, these reporters are out for blood. I see Jake reach to his phone and text his mother. He signs, “She’s freaking out in there, Evie, I need to go and get her. I can’t leave her in there.” I nod. As angry and hurt as Jake is feeling, it isn’t in his nature to leave her behind. “I’ll be okay. I will stop the car. You get out,” I sign. Jake motions for me to go around the block then pick them up. I let go of the wheel for a minute driving with my upper thighs. “You sure?” He nods, and I slow the car to a stop in front of his apartment. Jake gets out of the car swiftly and runs to his front door. Initially, nothing happens. The reporters don’t move but then it is like one reporter catches on to who he is, and he is swarmed. My heart beats rapidly in my chest terrified at the thought of how he feels being swarmed like that, but Jake is tough, he lifts a hand blocking them and uses his key to go straight through the front door. It doesn’t look like anyone follows him in. I let out the breath I was holding

and press the gas pedal as their attention turns to me. My adrenaline spikes and I feel fidgety driving around the corner. How will I stop the car to get Jake and Veronica? What if they swarm the car? I know they will. When I go around the bend, I hit a red light and text Colton quickly. Colton, please call me. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but whatever the media is saying about me is untrue. I never wanted to hurt you. I press send. Colton hates me. I feel it in my guts. He truly despises me. He isn’t going to make contact. By the time I come back around the bend, Jake and Veronica are on the sidewalk. Jake has his arms draped around his mother in a protective stance. As I reach them, I slow the car, and they walk toward the street. There are so many flashes of light, so many reporters, their mouths moving a mile a minute with questions. My heart beats rapidly in my chest overwhelming me and making it hard to breathe. Jake gets in the front seat. His mother in the back. He signs for me to drive, but I feel frozen. Veronica taps my shoulder and takes me by the chin so I’d look her in the eyes, eyes that now remind me of Colton and Carter. “Evie, honey, you need to drive. If they figured out where Jake lives they may have also figured out where Carter goes to school. We have to get Carter.” At her last

words, my panic turns into the need to protect my son, and I gun the gas pedal a little too hard. The reporters back up, and I fear hitting one of them. Oh goodness. My boy, my poor boy. I feel responsible for this whole mess even though I know on a deeper level that this mess was made long before I came into the picture. Yet, it was my relationship with Colton that caused the past to resurface. I don’t know if we are being followed and I keep looking in my rearview mirror to make sure that we aren’t. I am not a professional at gauging any of this. My phone buzzes with a message from Al. I wasn’t even aware he had my number. Evie meet me at the corner of W. Roosevelt Rd. and the 90. We stop at a red light, and I answer. I have no time to meet with Al right now. No! You are going to need my help to escape the press. Please. Did Colton ask you to do this? Jake nudges me to drive as the light turns green. He looks frustrated with my texting , but I have to know that Colton didn’t completely write me off. I have to know that I still meant something to him. As I press the gas pedal, I see Al’s answer. Yes. Part of his security detail has been assigned to you until things cool down. He’s also

booked you, Carter, Veronica, and Jake into a hotel so the press can’t find you. Jake nudges me again. I am causing a traffic jam. I’m sure more than one car is honking at me. We aren’t far from the Loop. It would be safer to pick up Carter if we had security with us. “What are you doing?” Jake signs. “Just trust me,” I sign back. I realize my words burn. I kept his mother’s secret from him. He was hurt by me, and yet he nods his head, allowing me to do what I think is best. It gives me some relief that he still has faith in me, that our friendship isn’t completely ruined. As I drive down the streets, I realize that I am supposed to be back at school. At the red light, I sign to Jake to make contact letting them know I can’t go back to school. I pull up to W. Roosevelt Rd. and spot Al on the corner. He looks so out of place in his dark overcoat. He is tall, a little taller than Colton and just as broad with light blue eyes and dirty blond hair. I have watched Colton speak to Al on the phone a number of times, and I gathered that Al is quite the lady’s man. It always makes me curious if Colton was the same way even though I already know he had been before me. I only fear that he will revert to his old ways. Al gets in the back seat of my car. I think he is speaking, but I’m not sure. I spot Veronica talking to him in the rearview mirror. Then she gets Jake’s

attention and signs to him. Jake signs to me to pull into an underground garage. From there they tell me where to park my car. Not even a moment after my car is parked, a black SUV arrives to pick us up. It is the same kind of car that Colton used on occasion. I hold my breath, hoping to see Colton’s beautiful smile waiting for me when I open the back door. But the car is empty. I should have known better. Colton is helping us because he is a good man, but he and I are done. I feel the loss in the deep crevices of my heart. Al waves to me to get my attention. “This man will take you to get your son. Then he’ll drop you off at a hotel. If you need any clothes or supplies, let him know, and he’ll get it for you,” Al says, very matter of fact. He is a loyal friend to Colton. I notice him eyeing Jake non-stop. “Thanks for everything, Al.” “Don’t thank me, this is all Colton,” he smiles, but it seems sad. “He won’t answer my text messages,” I say, hoping Al will give me information about Colton. Anything. I am like a hungry animal searching for scraps. “He’s upset. He was ambushed today. Give him time,” Al smiles again, and blinks his eyes showing he understands the gravity of the situation. “Okay,” I answer. Al turns his attention to Jake. “So you’re his

brother, huh? This all makes sense now,” he says. Then Al returns his focus to me then back to Jake. “He must have remembered you somehow,” Al says, and my stomach drops. What does Al mean by that? “He doesn’t read lips,” I answer. “And what makes sense now?” My brows come together expecting an answer. It was such an odd thing to say. He rakes his hands through his dirty blonde hair. “Nothing, sorry I shouldn’t have said anything at all.” “Well, you did, so what did you mean?” I ask, knowing I am being pushy, but I can’t let it go. “Shit!” he curses. “It’s nothing, Evie. It’s just that Colton was so intrigued by the fact that you were deaf. He wanted to learn to sign, he was so obsessive about it. I just figured that somewhere deep down he remembered Jake, and hung on to you because of the buried memory. I don’t mean to be insulting it’s just that I know Colton and he doesn’t settle down with a woman. He was acting odd, and now I know why.” He shrugs as if he didn’t just put a sword through my heart and twist it. Was he that clueless or better yet truly cruel that he didn’t even realize that he just insulted me? I feel my mouth hanging open, so I shut it. “You should get going, you’d be surprised at how resourceful the press can be,” he says, and with

those words, he turns and walks away. Jake, Veronica, and I sit in the back of the SUV. I am in a state of shock. “I’m Thatcher. You can call me Thatch.” Veronica looks to the driver then begins to interpret for us. Luckily, we have Veronica, because I am all out of sorts. The focus it requires me to read lips is non-existent right now. Veronica directs Thatch to Carter’s school. He follows Jake and me inside. It doesn’t fly past Jake, or me that he has a gun on him. I wonder if Colton found out about his father threatening to hurt Jake if Veronica ever came clean. I don’t think he knows. Maybe it is Colton being cautious. Carter is put off by the man in the black suit and asks many questions about why he has to leave school before the day was over. I am concerned with how much work from his classes he will have to miss until this mess is over. Thatcher then drives us to a hotel by the Chicago O’Hare airport. We don’t ask questions. Three rooms are booked when we arrive at checkin. One for Carter and me, one for Veronica, and one for Jake. For some reason, that small gesture of separate rooms tells me that he doesn’t want Jake and I sleeping in the same room, and it consoles me slightly. What doesn’t settle well with me was that his best friend believed Colton was only with me because of some attachment he must have remembered, subconsciously about having a deaf

brother. As if I’m not good enough to be with Colton. As if Colton wouldn’t date a deaf girl in a million years. Al’s words sicken me and make my old insecurities about being deaf multiply. I want to believe that Al is just an asshole. But in my gut, I wonder if he is right. Is Colton somehow projecting? “I’ll be out here in the hall,” Thatch explains as we make it to the front door of our rooms. “A man named Blake will take over my shift at midnight, and I’ll be back in the morning around eight. If you need anything from home, Blake will fetch it in the morning. You and Jake still have reporters camped outside your apartments,” he explains, and I watch as Jake’s jaw ticks while nodding to him. All this need for verbal communication can’t be easy on him. “Thank you, Thatch.” I force a smile feeling heartbroken. I then sign to Jake everything the man had said. Jake grunts and turns away to his room. Carter caught on to his father’s terse mood and didn’t ask to go with Jake. As soon as the door shuts behind us, I use the extra lock, just in case. My son turns to me and asks, “What’s going on, Mom? Did something bad happen? Does this have to do with the fact that Colton is governor?” My son has many questions that need answers and rightfully so. “Let’s order some dinner. We could get room

service. Mommy is tired right now. Is it okay if I answer those questions in the morning?” I smile to Carter. In reality, I feel like I don’t have answers that would satisfy him. I don’t know what is happening other than it feels like my life is falling apart. Carter gives me a crooked grin and nods his head. “Can we order fun stuff for dinner?” His mood immediately perks up with that question. “What’s fun?” I ask. Then in unison, we both say, “Pizza.” Carter giggles and I tickle him a little making him laugh some more. He is the sunshine bursting through the dark clouds. “And sundaes,” he adds. “And sundaes,” I agree. I want my son to feel like this is a fun experience. I don’t want him to know that we are possibly in danger. He moves to turn on the TV, and I flinch, grabbing the remote. I can only imagine that we are all over the news by now and I want to protect my son from the media circus and any derogatory things they are saying about me. Luckily we had his school bag because he has a pencil case filled with markers and he loves to draw comics. “Draw a Superman for me,” I suggest. “Nah, I’m in the mood for Ironman,” he responds with a shrug. “That sounds perfect,” I answer. “Is it okay if I

go take a bath?” I ask him. He is already outlining his character and waves me off. The minute I get into the bathroom I text Colton again. Thanks for helping us out today. We need to communicate. Can you please answer this text? I wait a few minutes while staring mindlessly at my phone. I want answers. I need to know if everything we shared these last few weeks could weather this storm. I was beginning to understand that our relationship wasn’t strong enough. Colton, please I love you, I would never do anything to hurt you. Still no answer. Al’s words are on repeat in my mind…I just figured that somewhere deep down he remembered Jake and hung on to you because of the buried memory. I don’t mean to be insulting. It’s just that I know Colton and he doesn’t settle down with a woman. He was acting odd, and now I know why. I take a long breath, hoping it would ease the tightness I feel in my chest. It doesn’t work, so I draw myself a steaming hot bath hoping it will calm my nerves, but as I lay back in the warm embrace of the water my floodgates open and I lose control, hoping my many tears are silent. When I have no more tears left to cry, I reach for my phone. I have to know what the media is saying. It is my connection to the outside world, and as much as the thought of what is happening terrifies

me, I still have to know. Nothing could prepare me for the headlines… Presidential Candidate Colton Mathis Brought to His Feet Scandal in the Mathis Family Is Colton Mathis Still A Prospect for Our Next President? Colton Mathis Victim to his Family’s Web of Lies The Woman Behind the Mathis Scandal As I read the headlines, bile rises in the back of my throat. How could people be so cruel? They don’t know half of the story, and yet they are all judging me, Colton, Veronica…why isn’t James the one with the big Scarlet A on his chest? This is a witch hunt, plain and simple. The picture of Veronica and I sitting in the coffee shop is now plastered all over the internet and images of Colton looking distraught follow. I don’t even think the pictures of Colton are recent since his hair appears much shorter. What am I going to do? I slip out of the bath not wanting to take too long since I need to order dinner. I slip on the large plush bathrobe offered by the hotel since I don’t have a change of clothes with me. The minute I come out of the bathroom, Carter jumps up on the bed. “Can we order pizza now?” he signs. “Sure.” I force a smile for my son’s sake and

quickly send a text to Jake and Veronica asking them if they want to join Carter and me to eat. Veronica answers promptly that she is headed over to our room to join us. Jake just typed, ‘No thank you.’ Everything is such a mess. I am being blamed for the demise of a brother he didn’t know he had. I am the mother of his child who he isn’t married to. I was dating his brother. I am also apparently the devil according to most media outlets. Colton is loved by the masses, and I am the bitch who brought him down. Things can’t get any worse. Carter gets up to open the door for Veronica, by the look on her face I can tell that she feels just as ill about this ordeal as I do. Veronica calls room service and orders personal pizzas for all of us since that is what the hotel offers on the menu. I also told her to order three sundaes, not wanting to disappoint Carter. As she places the order, she gives Carter a loving smile, and he returns the affection. I can’t help but think that as much as we love Veronica, we genuinely don’t know her. Her darn name isn’t even Veronica. When she hangs up the phone, she walks over to Carter, and they begin talking animatedly about the sketches in his sketchpad. My son is pleased to discuss all the superheroes he likes to draw. “I’m just going to step out for a minute,” I say, and both Carter and Veronica nod to me and go back to their sketches.

“Hi Thatch,” I smile. I feel bad that he’s just sitting on a chair outside our room doing nothing. “Do you want to eat? We just ordered pizza.” “Nah, thanks, Evie. I’m a meat eater, but I don’t eat while on the job. Thanks for thinking of me though.” “Sure.” I pause. “Do you think we could somehow get clothes for tonight?” I ask, looking down at my bathrobe a little embarrassed. “Let me see what I can do,” he nods assuredly. “Give me twenty,” he smiles. “Thanks. I’ll just be in there for a bit,” I point to Jake’s door. A couple walks by us down the hall cuddling each other. I knock on Jake’s door, and he opens it up with a sleepy look on his face. Before he can invite me in, I see a flash go off from behind my back. Jake’s brown eyes go wide, so I turn my head to see what is happening. The canoodling couple isn’t actually a couple, they are reporters, and they had taken a picture of me in my bathrobe in front of Jake’s hotel room door. Thatch was on to them before I could even process what was happening. He grabbed them each by the arm and followed them back out to the elevator. He is also speaking on his phone like it is a walkie-talkie. Everything is happening so quickly I don’t catch what he is saying. Jake pulls me by the robe, hauling me into his room and closes the door using the extra latch to lock it.

He is pacing back and forth looking at the ground and moving his lips quickly. I tap his shoulder and sign, “Stop it. We need to figure things out. Sit on the bed. I’m nervous enough as it is, I don’t need you pacing.” He concedes and takes a seat. It is times like this that Jake feels more like a brother than a friend. Maybe that’s how I missed his feelings for me. “Those photographers just caught you walking into my hotel room in a bathrobe. Do you know what that looks like?” he signs. “They are making you out to be a whore. I want to kill them all.” He shoots up from the bed again. “I should go to him. It should be me that speaks to him. He needs to know the truth,” Jake continues signing. “You won’t be able to communicate with him,” I remind him. “I’ll take Harvey with me,” he replies instantly. “I see you’ve given this some thought.” “I have.” “I just don’t know,” I reply. I want to have the answers about what to do. I just don’t. Jake comes to sit beside me. I notice him eyeing my bare legs. How did I not see all the signs before that he liked me? I sit up, holding the darn robe closed. “My life is over Jake. We will have to move cities. We will never be safe here again.” My head falls into my hands as I allow myself to feel sorry

for myself. He tugs at my hands until I look at him and then signs, “Your life isn’t over. This is just a hot new story, it will die down, and something new will come up.” Jake looks to me, confident that he has made a good argument. I’m not so sure. “How will we go to work?” I wait for an answer, but Jake doesn’t provide one. “I can’t take time off work. The students will have exams soon.” I pause. “And that’s if they don’t decide to fire me. How will my students ever look at me with respect again?” I am shooting off questions, and each one makes me feel like my grave is dug a little deeper. I am in quicksand with no way out. “We’ll figure out a way,” Jake signs then takes my hand in his. He stares blankly into the space in front of him and me. I want to believe him. Jake and I usually find a way. He helped me graduate college with an infant son after all, and that was a huge challenge. At times, I felt like giving up, but he had my back and kept me together. I force myself to believe in his words now because the other option isn’t very promising.

Chapter Thirty-Two Colton Al and I are sitting in Cassy’s dining room strategizing my next move. It is no secret to Al that I haven’t put my full heart into wanting to run for the presidency. “This is your out, Colton. Your big break out of the invisible chains your father had around your neck,” Al smiles crookedly. He hates that my father controlled me for so many years but he is also too familiar with powerful men who manipulate no matter the cost. His father is very much like mine. Only Al walked away. He hadn’t realized my father could be so selfish and manipulating when he came along on this journey with me. “A break, huh?” I repeat Al’s words. I feel dazed and confused which is so unlike me. I usually have my shit together. I was generally in control. “Snap out of it, man. Your new PR firm will be here any minute. You will make a few statements. Bow out of the race and move on.” Al claps me on the shoulder and stands up from his seat. “Where the hell does Cassy keep the coffee?” he grunts,

spinning in a circle. I laugh at him. As smart as Al is, he is spoiled rotten. He has a maid bring him coffee every morning and breakfast too, for that matter. “Go fuck yourself,” he chortles back at me. “It’s in the kitchen doofus,” Cassy shouts from her bedroom leaving me to understand she was eavesdropping on our conversation. I know she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, but I need space from her. My heart is breaking over Evie. I don’t want to have to deal with Cassy on top of everything else in my life. I get up and walk over to the kitchen. “Come on, I need coffee too,” I murmur and Al follows. Cassy has an easy setup, and I know my way around her kitchen well enough since I have spent enough nights with her. I hit a few buttons and bam. Coffee is made. I take a sip closing my eyes. “Fuck man, watching you is depressing.” Al snaps me out of my quiet moment enjoying my cup of coffee. “It’s her, isn’t it?” he asks, and it surprises me that he would. I told him how vital Evie had become in my life. He just isn’t getting it. I nod. “Colton, you’re looking at this the wrong way. I think you were so enamored with Evie because she was deaf. Something about her must have reminded you of Jake.” I blow out a long-frustrated breath. “You just

don’t get it. Yeah, maybe her being deaf intrigued me at first. Maybe somewhere deep in the depths of my mind, I had little snippets of a baby boy I tried to communicate with, using my hands, maybe they were short dreams.” I shake my head. I’m not really sure. “But that wasn’t what I loved about Evie. I fell in love with her, man. Everything about her was perfect, the way she smiled, the way she listened to me, the goodness in her heart, the way she treated her son.” Fuck, listen to me, I am a fool. She lied to me, screwed me over. I am sick just thinking of all the times I opened up to her. Forced myself to share things with her that I wasn’t comfortable sharing. Al watches me with his lips twisted. He doesn’t understand how I could have fallen in love because Al has never been in love. He loves his sister and mother. Hell, I am sure I am on that list too but he never actually fell hard for a woman even though he left many broken hearts along the way. “It doesn’t fucking matter anyway. It’s over. She fucked me over and it just goes to show you why relationships suck. If I ever tell you that I want to be in a relationship again, I give you the right, no, I insist that you clock me one, seriously.” Al takes a long drink of his coffee. “Just get your head on straight,” he says. There is a knock on the door. “And stop looking so fucking doe-eyed and sad. We need to come up with a new game

plan. You are still governor, the people of Illinois still rely on you, and you need to make a statement, even better, we need to push this scandal under the rug.” I go back out to Cassy’s dining room with Al. Cassy lets my new PR rep in. I am expecting just one person, but there is a team. “Rebecca Caufield. Nice to meet you.” The tan woman extends her hand for me to shake then walks past me to the dining room table where she places her suitcase on the floor. “This is Chuck, John, and Larry,” she continues, and I feel like she is shitting me because the person she called Larry is very much a woman. She is wearing tight black leather pants, a leather top and her almost white blonde hair is tied in a high ponytail on top of her head. She gives me a nod then Chuck and John give me a grunt. I quirk my brow giving Al a side glance. He throws his hands out for a minute but tilts his chin back to Rebecca who begins to speak. She is the leader of this crew. “We checked into your past. The media has done quite the job spinning this story.” She reaches down to her briefcase and pulls out some files. “Your father banished your mother. He found out she was having an affair. He told her he didn’t believe Jake was his baby and told her to leave. He felt your baby brother would ruin his chances to have a political career, but by banishing them, he

ended any chance he had to run in politics. Your mother and brother were your father’s dirty buried secret. If he ran, it would have been easy for someone to dig up the story. Instead, he focused on you, obsessively wanting to make you into something he dreamed of but could never be. Almost thirty years later the story of your mother and brother was dead.” Rebecca states, a matter of fact. “How do you know this?” I ask, a little dumbfounded. She quirks her brow at me and gives me a look that says, ‘shut up and listen.’ “Your brother is, in fact, a Mathis. His blood tests located in that file will prove that to the 90th percentile. If you want more accuracy, we need to run a full DNA test. Your father threatened your mother. He told her to leave the house and take Jake. If she didn’t leave, then your father threatened to hurt her and Jake. Your father had ties to Jeffrey Davis,” she says, then pauses. “Does that name ring a bell?” It takes me a few seconds…Wayne Davis…drug dealer. He had been in court when I was a prosecutor. His father Jeffrey Davis was the head of a drug cartel. There had been numerous CIA and FBI investigations into the Cartel, but they had always been untouchable. “What are you saying, Ms. Caufield? That my father threatened to have, my mother and brother,

killed?” I swallow hard. My world isn’t just tilting sideways it is being turned upside down. The man I had revered all my life is a horrible, deceitful man. All the guilt he made me feel, all the times I conceded to his every whim because of his socalled sacrifices he made for me…it is all a sham. Rebecca leans forward on the dining table pressing her palms onto the surface with a sure look in her eyes. I don’t know what her sources are, but she seems professional and confident. I choose to believe her even though I will verify everything later. “And Evie Harper? What role did she play in all this? Was she hired by one of our opponents?” Al takes a step forward and asks. He had been standing off to the side this whole time just listening. Leave it to Al to ask the question I am not brave enough to ask myself. Or maybe I just don’t want my heart to splinter further than it has. Rebecca cuts him a look and pushes off the dining room table, straightening herself out. “She has no ties to anyone. She’s a teacher, works for a school for the deaf, she is a single mother, and from what I understand, you pursued her, Mr. Mathis.” Rebecca’s stare cuts from Al to me on her last words. “The poor woman has been put through the wringer.” She purses her lips and glares at me. An anguished laugh escapes my lips, and I shoot up to my feet swiping a hand over my mouth. “You

mean to tell me that this is some sick coincidence that I was dating a woman connected to my longlost mother and brother?” I begin to pace. I think Rebecca said something but my mind was in overdrive. “Here.” Al pushes his cell phone into my chest. “Don’t even think about her, Colton. Look at this.” On the screen of Al’s cell phone is an article from the Sun with a large picture of Evie in a bathrobe. You can’t see her face, but her long red hair is hard to miss. Standing at the entrance to the hotel room is Jake. He’s shirtless, all abs of steel and muscle. He has a sad smile on his face. The headline reads. Ms. Harper Can’t Decide Which Brother She Wants. I begin to read the article. It starts by giving a physical description of Jake and says how good genes must run in the Mathis family. I can’t read anymore, so I push the cell phone back into Al’s hands and stalk off. I head for Cassy’s balcony, needing air. This is just too much to handle. The thought of my brother touching Evie when she’s probably feeling vulnerable makes me want to tear this place apart. I lean on the railing of the balcony when I feel slender arms around my neck, and a head pressed against my back. I don’t need to turn around to know that it’s Cassy. “I’m sorry, Colton. I heard everything. I didn’t

mean to listen, but that woman just speaks so loud.” Her voice purrs as her hands rub all over my body trying to console me. Only I’m not comforted. She begins to press soft kisses on my neck, and I cringe. I pull out of her grasp and hold her hands in front of me so that she will stop touching me. “Cassy, please.” I take a breath because I need to show her patience, she doesn’t deserve to be snapped at by me. “I appreciate all the help you’ve given me. For allowing me to stay here. I just need time to figure things out in my head,” I say softly. “I have an idea, Colton,” she says, and I let go of her hands. She crosses her arms over her chest. She’s wearing a tight black tank top and black tights. She looks ready for a workout. When she crosses her arms, it makes her breasts bunch together. My eyes drop to her chest because hell, I am a man, but I don’t feel that same spark I used to feel for her. Hell, I feel nothing other than the thought she has a nice set of tits. “What is it?” I put my hands in the front pockets of my trousers and listen. *** “You have two options, Mr. Mathis,” Rebecca says sounding very matter of fact. Her team stands around the table holding on to her every word. “One…you work things out with Ms. Harper, and

you two make a joint statement to the press that the mere coincidence of life brought you together, then you go on to live happily ever after. The media will stop treating Ms. Harper like some harlot.” She pauses, and I let her words penetrate, only that scenario will never work for me. Evie must have known about my connection to Jake and Veronica. That day at the Navy Pier her and Veronica couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. “What’s my second option?” I ask. Al claps me on the back indicating he wasn’t a fan of option one either. “The second option is that you make a public appearance with Cassandra Steel. You go on a talk show and say that you and Ms. Steel have recently decided to take things to the next level. You buy Ms. Steel a diamond ring. You tell the public that you and Ms. Harper were a short-lived fling. That it was a mere coincidence that she had ties to your mother and brother. And as the mother of your nephew you will continue to see her at family events,” Ms. Caufield stops speaking, but her gaze remains trained on me as if she is dissecting my every thought. It probably doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that I am not crazy about proposing to Cassy. Cassy is in the living room listening to the options and decides at that moment to plop herself in my lap. Fucking great. “Cassy, give me a minute sweetheart.” I slowly

help her off me then cut Al a look that says, ‘follow me.’ We both go out to the balcony. This time I close the doors behind us. “Where did you find this crew?” I ask. Al tilts his head to the side and breathes in slowly. “A little over the top, aren’t they? For what they cost, they should be.” “I’m not following. Where the hell did you find them?” I repeat. “Issy, my sister,” he says plainly. “Apparently the Walsh clan has used the Rebecca Caufield agency to avert more than one scandal. Although I’ve been assured that she knows how to bury the scandals that do make it to the surface. In your case, it’s erupted like a fucking volcano. Nevertheless, she can put this thing to sleep and then we can get on with our lives.” He smacks me on the back. If I ever for a moment thought I led a normal life then this was a perfect reminder that my life was far from ordinary. “I don’t like any of the options she offered me,” I say through shallow breaths. Al guffaws. “I can see that. Can’t say I blame you. In both scenarios, she has you tied down,” he cringes. The truth is, I cringe too. “There must be another way.” “Okay, let’s head back in there and tell her we need option three.” “Let’s do that because there’s no way in hell

I’m committing ever again,” I hiss and we walk back inside.

Chapter Thirty-Three Evie If things were supposed to look brighter in the light of day, they didn’t. I had to text another absence into school today and tell my principal I couldn’t come to work. My text message didn’t come as a surprise. The whole city, heck probably the entire country, knew. I thought she’d be mad about me bringing the negative publicity onto the school, but she only had questions for me as to what Colton Mathis was like. Then she told me not to worry and that this would all blow over. I had been working with her for five years now, and I was relieved when she texted. Evie, you are a kind young woman who possibly fell for the wrong man. He’s famous, so this is a big deal. It will blow over. Nothing stays top news forever, but please don’t run away from your students and this school. We are like your family here. You should come back soon. I stare at the message a long while. Was she right? Would everyone at work just see this as a relationship gone wrong?” Or would I be the harlot the newspapers had made me out to be? Will they

view me as the woman who stabbed the handsome and charming Colton Mathis in the back? I blow out a long breath and text back. Just give me another day, and I will be back. I don’t want to leave the students before they have to write exams. Smart woman. She texts back, too bad I didn’t agree with her. I was feeling low. I had told myself from the start that Colton was all wrong for me yet I didn’t take my own usually sound advice. Carter is still sleeping in the bed beside me. It is already after eight am. I slip the door open slightly and see Thatch sitting on a chair between mine and Jake’s door. “Good morning, Ms. Harper,” he smiles. “It’s Evie.” I give him a friendly smile back. His eyes turn to the floor, and he says, “Hotel wanted to leave you this morning’s paper.” His lips twist apologetically, and I don’t know why until I look at the front page of the newspaper. Colton is standing on a balcony. It looks like an air shot. A beautiful woman with a long blonde braid embracing him with her head pressed to his shoulder. She looks slender, model perfect. The headline says, Rumors That Colton Mathis is Back Together With Socialite Cassandra Steel My heart dips in my chest for a moment, but I plaster on a smile and look back up to Thatch as if

I’m not affected. By the sad gleam in his eyes, I know I’m doing a poor job. “Here is a suitcase of clothes for you and Carter. Hope I did a good job getting things together for you.” He stands from the chair and passes me the suitcase. I’m a little embarrassed that he had to rummage through my panty drawer, but he’s been very professional about everything, so I try not to blush too hard. Of course with my complexion, it’s a losing battle. “Thank you. I’m sure it’s exactly what we need.” I pause. “If you’ll excuse me.” I turn and walk back to my room. Thankfully, Carter is asleep, and I take the newspaper and look at the shot of Colton and Cassandra. I remember seeing the name on his phone the first night we spent together. She had texted him a picture of her breasts. It seems he ran right back to her open arms. The shot taken of them is an intimate one. It shows me that if I ever had a tinge of hope for Colton and me I should stop because we are truly over. With nothing to do, I lay back in bed and scroll through the articles on Colton and me. It seems like the Colton, Cassandra story is the interest of the reporters this morning. By the time I’ve had my fill of seeing Cassandra draped all over Colton. I place my phone on the nightstand and open the TV on mute. Maybe I can find a movie to distract me from my life. Only on the first channel, I flip through I

see cool blue eyes staring back at me. Blue eyes that once used to gaze at me through warmth and love. Colton is holding a press conference. I quickly play with the buttons on the remote and set the television to English subtitles. “Ladies and gentlemen of the press. As you know, some information about my family has come to light in recent days. I was completely unaware of the facts that were brought forth to me but have since been updated. As many of you know, I was raised by my father who ran a single parent household. I know many of you have questions and there is a lot of speculation circulating certain issues in my private life, but I am here to speak to the people of Illinois. As your governor, I believe you have the right to know certain things about my personal life when they pertain to our great state and how it is run. From the start, I have advocated for transparency in the judicial process, and I expect to offer you the same transparency with my life since I am an elected official. “The Mathis family has never been a part of or contributed to my political career. I have hired a private team which I am financing personally to review all my election campaigns to ensure that no money was given by any member of the Mathis family, and to ensure that all elections were run legitimately, both at the state attorney level and pertaining to the governorship.

Secondly, and this is a personal matter but one I have decided to share with you out of my own good will. I did not know my mother growing up. I was unaware I had a brother since they both left when I was young. I will not focus on the reasons they left. That is water under the bridge. Many families face turmoil, many marriages fail, and my parents had a failed marriage. Could they have done things a little differently?” he pauses and smiles softly to the crowd. “Yes. I believe they made poor decisions they wish they could take back upon deeper reflection. However, now we are in the present, and I would like to get to know my mother and brother. They are not villains in this story. We are simply an all-American family. We are not perfect, but now it is time for us to reunite. I know I would like to take the time to get to know them.” He pauses, and I can see him swallow hard. “The last matter I wish to discuss is Evie Harper.” He pauses again and looks to the camera. Shit now I’ve become a matter. I sit at the edge of the bed my legs crossed over each other feeling like I can crawl out of my skin as I wait for Colton’s next words. “I want to confirm that I am the one who pursued Ms. Harper. She is also not the villain here. I did not know she had ties to my estranged mother and brother when I pursued her. She was not hired by any of my political adversaries as has been reported. She is simply a woman I dated for a

short length of time.” He stops talking and looks down to some papers he has in front of him on the pedestal. “That is all I will say about Ms. Harper other than she is, I repeat, in no way involved in a scandal to try and bring me down. As your governor, I assure you that my own very reliable sources have confirmed that Ms. Harper’s relationship with my estranged mother and brother was a complete coincidence. A tough pill to swallow. Nonetheless, we met by chance, and it simply didn’t work out.” He smiles to the camera that panty melting sexy smile that made me first accept his dance, invite him into my apartment and inevitably fall in love with him. “I hope I have laid all your questions on this matter to rest. Finally, I would like to say in light of recent circumstances I will be withdrawing my intent to run for the presidency of our great country. I will also be stepping down from my role as governor.” Colton ends his speech, and you can see many flashes going off on the TV screen. A woman steps in beside him and says that the governor has agreed to answer a few questions. “What will you do after you leave the post of the governor?” one reporter asks. “Spend time with my new family. Get to know them,” he says with a crooked grin. “You were running as an independent candidate. Do you see someone else stepping into that

position?” another reporter asks. “I don’t know. It’s not for me to say.” He smiles and looks sideways. The camera lands on Al. Then returns to Colton. I notice that his father isn’t there like he was in the first press conference I watched when Colton announced his intention to run for the presidency. “Mr. Governor, do you think you and Ms. Harper will reconcile? I mean, your story is a little like a fairy tale. You met not knowing who she was and because of her you were reunited with a family you didn’t know you had?” the reporter asks and it doesn’t seem like a question. “I am thankful for meeting Ms. Harper. I don’t see any chance of reconciliation. Sorry to disappoint.” He gives a wry smile. Someone shouts. “The women of Illinois will be happy you are a bachelor again.” Colton smiles bashfully. I can see why the people are so enthralled with him. He has such a friendly likable personality, and his looks just give him that movie star quality of being bigger than life. “Thank you to the members of the media for coming out today on such short notice. I truly do appreciate every one of you.” With his last words he smiles and waves. I continue to watch as he is ushered off stage. I blow out a breath. I am simply a woman he dated for a short length of time. I repeat his words in my head, only my heart cracks

in two. He was so much more than that for me. Carter shuffles in the bed beside me and opens his clear blue eyes. “Hi Mommy,” he signs. I wonder if his eyes will ever stop reminding me of Colton and if the pain will remain in my heart forever. “Good morning, baby.” I smile and kiss my son on the forehead. I need to look on the bright side. At least Colton knows I didn’t try to hurt him on purpose. Maybe the media will back away now. That seemed to be the intention of his press conference. He wants to step away from the public eye. Carter shoots out of bed and runs to the door. I’m sure someone must have knocked. “Carter no, we need to ask who it is first.” I hope I’m shouting when I say it but my words are too late. Our hotel room door flies open. I sigh with relief when I see that it’s only Jake and Veronica. They are all dressed in new clothes and wearing smiles on their faces. It also seems like the stress of this ordeal has been lifted for them. I wish I could say the same for me. “Good morning,” Jake signs and Carter gives him a big hug. I look down to my robe. “I should get dressed,” I sign. I walk over to my suitcase. Veronica walks into the room and takes a seat on a chair beside a little kitchen table. Carter is busy chatting with her. She asks him to pause for a minute and signs,

“We should eat some breakfast, yeah?” I nod, and so does Jake. I walk off to the washroom and Jake takes me gently by the arm to stop me. “You okay?” His brown eyes look sincere. Gosh! When I think about everything that happened these last few weeks, my head spins. Jake told me he was in love with me while he knew I was in love with his brother. Now Jake, Veronica, Colton and probably Carter will want to spend time together. To get to know each other and where will that leave me? “I’m fine,” I lie in response to Jake’s question. I’m far from fine. “Okay.” He gently releases my hand and doesn’t move, but I can see he has more on his mind. He waits a moment looking me over. “He wants to see us, today…” he signs then pauses, running his hand over his freshly washed light brown hair. “It’s weird, isn’t it? I mean I saw him as a man you were dating. I was jealous of him,” he admits with a sorrowful look. “I don’t know what to feel for him now. I thought I was an only child. It’s always just been Mom and me.” He shrugs. I place a hand on Jake’s shoulder to console him then sign, “You don’t have to feel like you owe me an explanation about meeting with him today or ever. He’s your family. He wants to get to know you guys. He’s lead a lonely life I’m truly happy for all of you.” I force a smile because deep down I

want to be part of their family. “Maybe it’s too soon for you to see him today but maybe in the future, you two can at least be friends.” Jake leans in and hugs me. I know he means well but the thought of only being friends with Colton makes me feel ill. I wanted much more than friendship from him. I pull away from Jake. “Thank you,” I smirk. It’s the best I can do right now. “I’m going to get changed.” Jake nods. He knows me too well. He can read the hurt in my eyes. “Is it okay if Carter comes with us?” He winces when he asks. The question causes a pang of pain in the center of my chest. My brows draw together, “Yes, of course. Carter likes Colton,” I answer and turn away quickly because I feel like I will break down crying and I prefer to do it in the privacy of the bathroom, and I don’t want to ruin the reunion party Veronica and Jake are about to have. When I close the bathroom door, I allow myself to break down and cry.

Chapter Thirty-Four Evie Two weeks later “We made it to the end of the year,” Jake smiles cheerfully. “Yup,” I smile back. It’s the last day of school. I had taken the principal’s advice and gone back to work. Once Colton announced that we were no longer together and I wasn’t the evil conspirator trying to bring the handsome prince down, the media chilled out which was nice. A few stories ran about me being a single mom to a hearing child, but there was nothing too invasive or accusatory about the reporting. It was more like the reporters giving the public information about the poor woman who was accused of trying to bring down the great Colton Mathis. “Are you going to go away for the entire summer?” Jake asks and frowns. I had decided to take a trip to venture across British Columbia since I had never been. Carter was coming along with me. Then we would head back to LA to spend some time with Grandpa Jack since he was getting old and his health was deteriorating.

“The whole summer. You can’t talk me out of it.” I laugh because clearly, Jake tried to talk me out of it and even convinced me to let him come along. I just felt like I needed to take this trip on my own. For so much of my life, I was dependent on Jake. We were a duo but I also needed to figure a few things out about myself, and I needed alone time with only my son to do that. I was just grateful that Jake agreed to allow me to take Carter along. “I know, trust me. You are one stubborn redhead. I’m convinced it’s the color of your hair that contributes to the stubbornness,” he jokes. I laugh and throw a small piece of chalk I have on my desk at him. He catches it mid-air. “I need to do this,” I sign and let out a sigh. “I know.” He gives me a meaningful look that tells me he truly understands. “I’ll come by your apartment at six and drive you two to the airport,” he says. “Thank you, but you don’t have to drive us,” I answer and he gives me a look. The one that says don’t argue with me. “Evie, you’re taking Carter to the other end of the country. I won’t see you two for two months. The least you can do is let me drive you to the airport.” I shake my head. It must be my nerves. Even though we are only going for two months, saying goodbye to Jake will be hard. He’s been the one

constant in my life. “Sorry. You’re right.” I smile. It’s been almost three weeks since I saw Colton. Three weeks since the scandal broke. I had hoped he would make contact, but he didn’t. Not one single attempt. His words from the press release were loud and clear. I am simply a woman he dated for a short length of time. I didn’t know if I would ever love like that again in my life, but I had a son to raise and a family. I had to find inner peace because the last few weeks I felt like a shell of a person. It wasn’t fair to those who loved me; who had to spend time with me. My emotional distress was hurting them too. Especially when Carter would come home from Jake’s house and tell me how he spent time with Colton. How cool Colton was and how Colton hired someone to teach him how to sign, how Colton learned so many signs already. I knew Carter wasn’t doing it on purpose, he just genuinely liked Colton. I couldn’t blame him, that was the problem. Later that evening Jake came to pick us up and drove us to the airport. He even insisted on coming in to help with the luggage. There was no arguing with him. “I may take a trip while you guys are gone too. I’m not sure where yet, but I will be in touch. Okay?” he leans in and hugs me. “Thanks for everything Jake.” I pull away and sign, and he reaches down to hug Carter.

“I’m going to miss you, buddy,” Jake signs and ruffles his hair. “Me too, Daddy,” Carter signs back. Jake and I never discussed his feelings for me after the whole ordeal. It was clear I didn’t return his feelings, and so he fell back into the role of being my best friend. I hoped inside he was okay because now that I knew what heartbreak was, I didn’t wish it on my worst enemy, not that I had any. Carter and I got on the plane. While my son was busy with his iPod, I gazed blankly out the window and prayed for strength and guidance. I was feeling so lost, so lonely without Colton. Still, I tried to stay positive because I had to show Carter I was strong. This was a new chapter in my life, and I would have to embrace it.

Chapter Thirty-Five Colton Carter spots me first. His smile is wide as his eyes meet mine. I lift a finger to my mouth telling him to be quiet or rather hinting to him not to give me away. He nods. I show the stewardess my ticket, and she points to my seat at about midway through the plane. I’m the last passenger on the plane, but I had to wait in a corner off to the side for a while so Evie wouldn’t see me and the surprise wouldn’t be ruined. At least I think it’s a surprise. My brother… huh, it makes me laugh still to say the word brother. Jake is my brother through and through. It’s funny that we share some of the same mannerisms even though we weren’t raised together and it’s a little freaky how much he looks like my father, but he’s a true, honest version of him so I can’t hold his looks against him. My father had finally come clean to me about the truth behind the fire, and my mother and brother’s departure. I even confronted him about threatening my mother with Jeffrey Davis, the drug cartel leader. My father confessed to everything

and began to tell me that his motives were pure. I told him that if he ever asked Jeffrey Davis for any favor, I would make sure the FBI received a file on him that would inevitably lead to jail time. I, too had connections in the prosecutor’s office, and I was, after all, a Mathis. Dad was less than pleased, but he made his bed a long time ago, his greed pushed him to choose power over family, and now he had to live with the consequences. There was no place for him in politics and no place for him in my life or Jake’s. He was going to die a lonely old man. I lean over and tap her shoulder, her dark blue eyes turn around, and she sucks in a quick breath. Before she can say anything, I begin to sign, “Evie, I’m sorry. You will never know how sorry I am that I ever doubted you. I know what happened. I know that you feared for my life, and Jake and Carter too. I want you to know that my father isn’t a threat anymore.” I pause. I had rehearsed this many times in the car, but if I got even one of my motions wrong, it would take away from what I was trying to say. Evie remains silent, staring at me like she was trying to convince herself I was real. “See here’s the thing. I can’t live without you…no…I don’t want to live without you. You make my life whole. You make my heart feel warm…I didn’t know what love was until I found you.” I pause, thinking I did a pretty bang-up job as long as there were no mistakes. I look down and whisper to

Carter covering my mouth, “How did I do?” He laughs. “You nailed it. Only you told her that she makes your heart feel like poo.” I burst into laughter. “You’re shitting me,” I reply. “Wish I was,” Carter responds, laughing so hard he is holding his stomach. I told him he was shitting me because the pun was intended and he got the joke. He is a great kid who likes to joke around so I couldn’t miss the opportunity. Evie stares at us quietly, not saying a word. “Say something,” I finally urge her. She moves her mouth, but it is like she was grappling with what to say. I fear I am too late. “You don’t need to do this, Colton. I know we would have to see each other eventually because we share family but this gesture or whatever it is, isn’t necessary,” she responds, and I have to say it wasn’t what I was expecting, but Evie did tend to knock me off my feet. “Me getting on this plane was not a friendly gesture,” I snap. I am feeling heated and angry and way too excited having her this close to me, yet feeling like she was an ocean away. “I am telling you that I am in love with you,” I say, waiting for the words to click. I had stopped signing because it still took a lot of effort on my part. I know reading lips takes a great effort on Evie’s part, but I am still willing to learn, to practice until things became

more fluid for me. Only now I wonder what the hell I am doing. When she left me text messages in the first days after the scandal broke she had wanted to patch things up, she was worried for me, but I was blinded by all the lies my father had been telling me my whole life to see what was indeed in front of me. I wasn’t going to live in the dark anymore. This was me taking life by the balls. Doing what I wanted to do. Jake had told me that she was hurting and sad. The thought that it was me who caused her pain made me feel ill, and I knew I had to do something about it. She finally speaks. “Colton, you thought you were in love with me, but it was just you remembering Jake, you were intrigued by the fact I was deaf. You wanted to learn how to sign because you longed for the deaf brother you lost. Well, now you have him back. I hope your life is more fulfilled now, but you don’t need to project your loss anymore. You sure as hell don’t owe me anything.” She purses her lips then signs, “sorry” to Carter. I think for the curse. I blow out a breath and shake my head. “You are so damn stubborn. I don’t know where you came up with that stupid ass theory, but it’s a stupid ass theory.” I look down to Carter and apologize too. Then I remembered Al giving me a similar theory. I was going to have choice words with him

when I saw him if it was him that planted these ridiculous assumptions in Evie’s mind. Carter waves me off. “No worries. The kids at school say a lot worse than the “s” word.” Evie’s mouth hangs open. “Give me your hand,” I demand her, extending my own for her to take. She looks confused and maybe a little shaken, but she gives me her hand. There isn’t much room in the aisles, but I pull her toward me. She looks like a skittish cat, and I remember the night we first danced at the gala. She had a similar look on her face. “I’m going to kiss you now,” I say, and I need some response from her that she was okay with that. “I…” she mutters. “I want to kiss you now,” I repeat. “I did not fall in love with you because of some weird projection theory. I fell in love with you because you are kind, and caring. I love the way you care for Carter, I love how passionate you can be about helping others.” I pause because I loved her passion in bed too, but I kept quiet given our audience. “You are beautiful, feisty and stubborn. I love everything about you. Now, I need to know if you love me back. I only want a one-word answer.” Her mouth which had been hanging open snaps shut and I see her give a slight nod. Then her lips curl at the corners, that warm smile that she keeps

just for me. “Only one word?” she says, and I knew I have her. She is playing me. “Dammit woman,” I joke. I hear the laughter of some other passengers behind us. Then one guy shouts. “Kiss him.” She can’t hear him. Then more passengers begin to cheer, “Kiss, him, kiss him.” Carter taps his mother on her hip and signs to let her know what is happening around her. Her eyes widen, and she bites her lip nervously as she looks over the plane and takes in all the passengers chiming in together. She bursts into laughter, the apples of her cheeks turning a beautiful rosy color. I capture her lips, kissing her with everything I have. She kisses me right back, and it is hot. Her lips on mine make my body stir in ways I didn’t know existed. I am ravenous for her, and I am also kissing her in front of one hundred eighty-four other passengers some of whom are clapping and cheering. I slow the kiss, and we press our foreheads together for a moment so we can catch our breath. “I’m coming to Canada with you.” I pull my head away, so she has a clear view of my lips. “I figured as much,” she shrugs and goes back to her seat. The seatbelt sign had come on. I look at the older woman sitting beside her and ask if she’d mind switching seats with me. Mine was two seats ahead. “Glad you two worked it out,” she says before getting up. “Saw your whole

story play out in the newspapers. That must have been a nightmare.” I nod in agreement. It had been a nightmare that was on replay for days. “You can’t fight fate,” she says, moving into my seat. “No ma’am, you can’t fight fate,” I agree and take a seat between Carter and Evie. They both look up at me with a smile. I take Carter’s hand in my left and Evie’s hand in my right. “This is exactly where I should be.” I look to Evie knowing she needs to see my lips. She blinks, and I see the recognition in her blue eyes. “I’m glad you’re here,” she signs. “I can’t wait to see Grandpa Jack again. He told me I needed to work for it if I was going to get you. I have to thank him for the good advice. And for warning me that you are a real spitfire too,” I joke. Evie punches me in the shoulder. The plane took off and Evie, Carter and I flew across the country into the sunset.

Epilogue Eight years later “I think we should wake her up,” my daughter urges with her sweet little voice as we stand at the foot of the bed waiting for my beautiful wife to wake up. It is Mother’s Day and our five-year-old daughter is waiting impatiently to serve her mom the breakfast in bed we made her. The problem is that Evie was up half the night nursing our threemonth-old son, Liam, who was a little colicky. “Mommy is very tired. Liam was up crying most of the night. I say we leave the breakfast here on the nightstand for her and let her sleep. I think sleep is the greatest gift we can give Mommy today.” I smile down to my daughter who considers my words very carefully. She has Evie’s fire red hair and a feisty personality to match. “Okay, we won’t wake her up, but can we go outside and play for a bit?” she coos, batting her blue eyes at me, apparently trying to make a deal with me. Little does she know that she has me in her back pocket already. “Sure, but I hear Liam stirring in his crib. Let’s

take him with us,” I suggest. Sophia claps her small hands together and cheers. We head into Liam’s nursery. His eyes are open, and he’s whining but when he sees me, his bright blue eyes sparkle, and he smiles. It warms my heart every time. When I got on that plane eight years ago, I was filled with hope and a dream. I never expected this to be my life. I was one lucky bastard. That day I flew with Evie and Carter to Vancouver, Canada and from there we spent some time touring the beautiful sights before renting a car and driving down the coast to LA. We were lucky to spend the summer there with Grandpa Jack because he died that fall. His death was hard on Evie because he was her last blood relative that she knew of. She leaned on me and with time things got better. We also decided that a fresh start in a new city was the way to go. Chicago no longer felt like home after the scandal and Evie didn’t feel any more ties to LA after Grandpa Jack died, so we settled on Washington State. Our sprawling mansion was located on Pine Island, a small island off the coast. It was beautiful and quaint and had the perfect views of the ocean. My little Sophia loved to play in the sand. “Daddy come make a sandcastle with me.” Sophia grins, already running off into the sand. “Not today, honey, I want to see what you can

make all by yourself. You can show little Liam how it’s done.” Sophia got to work on the dark sand, molding it and forming it. I loved just watching her play. I loved the sound of the waves brushing up on our shore. There were so many things I loved about my life. Things I never knew existed growing up in my father’s home. A home that I now knew was devoid of love and warmth. I didn’t even know those things existed until I met Evie. As I thought of her, I noticed the sliding doors to the master bedroom open. Evie had a white nightgown draped on, the soft wind blowing her hair as she steps down the few steps toward the beach. She still takes my breath away eight years and two kids later. Carter had gone off to college this past September. He was attending the University of Washington. He wanted to become an engineer, and I couldn’t be prouder of him for following his passions. “Hey, there,” Evie says and signs. Our little Sophia was very good at signing too. She can hold a conversation easily with her mother. I am now proficient in ASL, but with a baby in my arms, it makes communicating with my hands a little difficult. “You let me sleep.” Evie’s voice sounds sleepy and oh-so-sexy. “Daddy said you needed the rest,” Sophia signs. “Did he now,” Evie responds, her gaze landing on me, her eyes filled with love and affection. It

makes my heart flutter and come to life every time she gives me that look. “Those pancakes you made were delicious. Thank you very much,” Evie signs to Sophia. “They were heart shaped because you’re the best mom.” “Thank you, sweetheart.” She bends down and presses a kiss on Sophia’s head then walks over to thank me too, pressing her warm lips against mine. “Hello, there handsome.” She smiles at Liam. “Thanks, I’m glad you still think so,” I joke with her. It isn’t the first time I cracked that terrible joke either but it bought me a smile, and it was worth it. “We should go up and get ready. Uncle Jake and Auntie Selena will be here for brunch with Grandma Veronica,” Evie says, urging Sophia to finish up her sandcastle. The summer Evie, Carter, and I went sightseeing in Vancouver. Jake took a trip to Cabo. He spent two weeks on the beach there. He met Selena, a Hispanic woman who was living in the US. She had gone back home to visit her family in Mexico. They fell deeply in love and married the following year. Jake and Selena moved to the Seattle area where Jake works at a school for the deaf as the gym instructor. Selena became fluent in ASL. She’s an interior designer. My mom moved to Seattle too. She never liked Chicago, and she wanted to be close to her boys. I learned over the years that she

was nothing like the villain I had made her out to be. She was a sweet, kindhearted person who was dedicated to her family. We all rush back to the house to get ready for our guests. Evie ordered catering for the brunch, but we still needed to get some clothes on. “Here give me Liam, he needs to eat before my breasts explode.” She laughs, reaching for our son. My eyes drop to her breasts which look full, her nipples pressing against the sheer fabric of her white nightgown. My eyes grow heated. Evie lifts a finger to me. “Don’t even think it, Colton Mathis. There’s no time. Our guests will be here in fifteen minutes.” I chuckle. My wife knows me well. “I wasn’t thinking anything,” I feign innocence. “Yeah, right.” She takes Liam and stalks off to our bedroom. “Can you help princess Sophia get dressed?” she hollers. I go to help my little princess who is having a hard time picking a dress from her closet. She finally settles on a purple lace one. “Do I look pretty, Daddy?” she asks, twirling around. “Beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning, beyond pretty.” “I love you, Daddy,” she giggles, and I lean forward to press a kiss on her soft cheek, but she beats me to it and kisses my nose. That bought me a bubble of laughter. I hear the doorbell in the distance. We also had

red lights installed around the house notifying us of a guest. Evie comes dashing out of our room in a white pair of linen pants and a loose beige tank top. “I’m so excited to see them,” she cheers as she makes her way quickly down the staircase. Lila, our maid, was getting little Liam ready. I loved that Evie was so close to my blood relatives who are truly her family. Evie practically slides across the foyer on her quest to open the door quickly. She unlocks the latches as fast as she can as I watch her, making my way down our long winding staircase at a much slower pace with Sophia. When the door opens, and Evie sees Jake, her eyes light up like Christmas. At one point, I may have been jealous, at least at the beginning when I didn’t understand the nature of their relationship. Their bond was strong but more like brother and sister. Jake hugs Evie fiercely. Then Evie moves on to Selena and their four beautiful girls. Yup, my brother is raising four little princesses. Eva is seven. Mia is five - Sophia’s age, Bella short for Isabella is three, and little Mariana is one. “Come on in,” I motion. My brother comes to me and embraces me in a hug. We are close now. We missed years together growing up but these last years we made up for it as best we could. There were some things we would never get back. The last time I saw my father was the day the scandal

broke over eight years ago and I stepped out of his limousine. We had a few conversations after where I warned him about any retaliation, and that was it. He was out of all of our lives. He tried to make contact but I never responded. My grandparents on his side, Lily and Edward Mathis, had set up trust funds for Jake and me when we were born. I had access to my trust fund when I turned eighteen. Jake didn’t. That was later rectified. My father had also kept me away from the Mathis family growing up. Which meant I didn’t know what type of people they were. I was grateful that Grandma Lily reached out to me in the days after the scandal broke and we have been in touch ever since. My father was simply the bad apple of the family. Grandpa Edward and Grandma Lily were truly good people. People I was honored to call family. Both Jake and I return to Chicago at least once a year with the kids to visit. Usually around Thanksgiving since the whole Mathis clan is gathered together. They may be one of the richest families in America but they are kind, considerate people. They help third world countries and donate large sums of money to disaster relief. I don’t know why my father kept me away from them or why he was so determined not to be involved with them because they are good people. The only conclusion I can make is that he wasn’t a good person and had no place there with them.

My mother showed up for our Mother’s Day celebration a few minutes later, and even Carter made a surprise visit. That made Evie’s day. We sat around a long table filled with good food, great company and most importantly, a table that was filled with love and family. If you are wondering about my good friend Albert Walsh the III. Well…when I left for Canada with Evie and Carter eight years ago, Al felt like he had hit a crossroads in his life too. He decided to take a road trip across the country because he needed time and space to clear his head, but that’s a story for another day. As I pop a grape into my mouth, Evie comes to sit on my lap. “Hey baby,” I sign. “Hey yourself.” She grins back then presses a kiss to my lips. A long time ago she had confessed that she truly believed I was all wrong for her. The problem is, she had the situation all wrong. I was perfect for her, and she was made for me. And do you know what happens in such a scenario? That’s right. We live happily ever after.

Also by R.C. Stephens The Twisted Series Bitter Sweet Love Twisted Love Wild Cards Standalones Dick: A Bad Boys Novel Halo Where Promises Die Mr. All Wrong Mr. So Wrong Coming winter 2018

Read on for an excerpt from HALO

HALO

R.C. STEPHENS 2016

“Not all those who wander are lost”- J.R.R. Tolkien

Prologue Rogers Park, Chicago Christmas morning 2002 Thomas I lie in bed waiting for Halo to wake up. I know Christmas was a big deal around her house when she was growing up. Even though her parents are gone I still want her to feel the magic of the holiday. When I was a kid Christmas was another shitty day in my life. Nothing to celebrate. Another mark on the calendar moving me closer to the time I could leave my father and my dirty past behind. Halo begins to stir in bed, shifting toward me with her eyes shut. A sweet smile plays on her pink, lush lips and my chest bursts with love for this woman. “Hey.” Her morning voice is raspy and thick. She opens her eyes. I couldn’t love this woman more even if I tried. She’s my everything. “Hey yourself.” I grin as my eyes roam over her rosy nipples. The memory of making love last night gets me all hard again. I would take her right now if I didn’t have something planned. I let out a grunt. She stretches out her arms and her body moves

into a delicious curve. I lean down and close my mouth over her nipple. Damn, she tastes good. I groan. “Baby, you can’t be teasing me now. It’s Christmas morning and I got stuff waiting for you under the tree downstairs.” “Stuff?” Excitement grows in her eyes. “Like presents?” She instantly pops up to her knees, bouncing on the bed. She’s too cute. It’s taking everything in me not to claim her right now. I want to give her Christmas. Seeing her smile means everything. Not too long ago she was drowning in darkness. The healthy gleam in her eyes tells me she’s feeling good now. It will make my news a little easier to deliver. “Yes, baby, the stuff is presents.” Before I can say anything else she pops out of bed and grabs her T-shirt off the floor. I must have thrown it there last night during our lustful attempt to actually make it to the bed as opposed to having sex on the floor again. There’s nothing wrong with floor sex but it can get hard on the back and Halo’s knees. Halo throws on the shirt and darts down the hallway. I hear the small patter of her footsteps as she makes her way down the stairs. I slip on my boxer shorts and follow her. I placed a number of presents under the tree and she won’t know which to open first. I swiftly walk down the stairs to the living room where our Christmas tree is shining bright. I look

out the window to see a small dusting of snow falling from the sky. Halo seats herself on the floor in front of the presents. This is my second year with a Christmas tree and her second year without her parents—bittersweet. “Which one do I open first?” she asks like a little girl rubbing her palms together. It makes me laugh. I mean we are young. I’m twenty and she’s nineteen. We were both forced to grow up too quickly. I guess it’s memorable times like this that we cherish. “If I knew presents made you this excited I would try to get more.” I chuckle. “It’s not just the presents, Thomas. It’s Christmas. Do you feel that? It’s magical.” She stares out into space with a peaceful look on her face. “Sure baby, I’m feeling it.” I look down to the chub in my shorts from this morning’s perusal of her body. “Thomas,” she chides, punching my shoulder. I chuckle again. “I’m just joking, this day is special for me too.” She’s too cute. I lean in, pressing a soft kiss on her lips. I pull away and lean toward the first box I want her to open. “This one.” I pass her a little red box wrapped in pink ribbon. She opens it in a hurry. It’s a thong from Victoria’s Secret. It’s not meaningful, but I couldn’t help picture how hot she would look in it.

“Thank you.” She leans forward and places a kiss on my lips. Then she rises to her feet and walks over to the closet by the front door. She retrieves a box from the closet and comes back to the tree. “This is for you,” she says, extending the box with one hand. I pull her toward me, guiding her to sit in my lap. Then I open my gift. It’s a dog tag. Engraved. “I will always love you. You are the light in my darkness.” My chest grows tight. I enlisted in the navy and went through SEAL boot camp, passing with flying colors. Then I was shipped out to Coronado, California a year ago for more training. Becoming a SEAL was a dream I had all my life. Originally I wanted to be a SEAL to get away from my father. Then I met Halo. She was only fifteen and perfect. She made me want to be a SEAL for an entirely different reason—I wanted to prove myself worthy of her. I haven’t told her yet, but I’m deploying. I was putting it off until I knew the depression was better. I also know that she could feel me itching to leave. My friends from boot camp had already been assigned to teams that had left for Afghanistan. Being a newlywed meant I could put it off for a while. Now I was deploying. I worried she would take it hard. That’s another reason I wanted to make Christmas extra special for us. “Halo, it’s perfect, baby.” I lean over and give

her a kiss. “You are the light in my darkness. I know you know I need to leave. I wanted to talk to you about it, but…” Her finger presses to my mouth. “I know…I know you need to go. I’ve known for a while. I guess I was selfish trying to keep you here all this time.” “There isn’t a selfish bone in your body. You were having a hard time and it was completely understandable. You’re stronger now. You’re going to be okay. You’re busy with school and you have Jenny. You will be fine without me, Halo. I don’t think you realize how strong you really are.” I pause for a minute because I want her to open her next gift. “Here, open this.” I pass her a little silver box; this one has a little gold bow on top. She turns on my lap so she is sitting with her legs wrapped around my waist. She opens the box and her jaw drops. “Thomas, it’s perfect,” she gasps taking it out of the box. It’s a silver locket. “Here, let me.” I take it out of her hand and show her the engraving on the back. You’re my Halo, my ray of light. I will always find my way back to you She laughs. “We clearly think alike.” She nods, proud of herself. It’s true her name is quite original. We’ve used “halo” as a term of endearment many times.

It’s a reminder that when a person is drowning in darkness, another person can show them the light. “It’s perfect, Thomas.” “It opens up. You can put two pictures inside,” I explain, showing it to her. “I will have to get some pictures made.” I place the necklace around her neck and her palm closes over the locket, holding it close to her heart. I place the tags around my neck. “Baby, I ship out tomorrow. I’ve known for a couple of weeks, but I didn’t want you walking around sulking for my last days at home. I thought it’s better we had a quick goodbye.” I speak the words softly, but inside I’m cringing, hoping she isn’t mad. “Thomas…” Tears roll down her cheeks. “I know this has been coming. I know you need to go. It’s okay. I’ve told myself it’s okay since we had our first date four years ago. I’ve been preparing myself mentally for this. You will be great and you will do good in this world.” She leans forward and places a wet kiss on my mouth. I can feel her tears on my face. I love her so damn much it hurts. “Baby, I love you. I’ll probably be gone for a while. I’ll try to stay in touch as much as I can but I’ve been told that I may be off radar for long periods of time…” I pause because my next words aren’t easy. I take a deep breath. There really is no easy way to say this… She’s young and beautiful

and we fell in love and married young. If something were to happen to me she needs to know that she needs to move on. “Don’t say it, Thomas.” Her tears continue to fall and she nods. “You’re it for me, baby.” She says it adamantly and I believe her. I was her only boyfriend and her first everything. “Halo, listen to me.” My thumb grazes her cheek, wiping away her tears. “I’m a SEAL now. We go on high-risk missions. I need to know that if something happens to me that you won’t check out. You need to find yourself a new husband and make a life. You are nineteen years old and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen walk this earth. I know I’m asking for a lot here, but I need to hear you promise me you will. Now that being said, I promise you that I will do my damnedest to come home to you. I will find you in the dark; you can trust that. Just in case, please say the words.” I beg her as if it’s my least breath. I know she would always keep her promises to me and this one is important. My own tears spill. I’m a realist. Living a difficult life makes you into one. There are no ifs about it. I wipe gently at her tears and look at her with pleading eyes, chipping at her stubborn walls until they are fully broken. “I promise.” She nods then claims my lips hungrily. The thought of her being with another

man makes me crazy possessive. I know deep down I need to do everything I can to stay alive, but the reality of being a SEAL doesn’t always allow for that. The heat between us ignites and within seconds I yank down my boxer shorts and have my cock buried between her legs as she rocks on top of me. I need to own every inch of her because that conversation about her moving on has just done crazy things to my insides. As I bury myself inside her, I cleanse my mind. There is nothing else—just me and her. The way it should always be.

Chapter One Five years later January 15, 2008 Rogers Park, Chicago Halo It’s happening… This. Is. Real. Shit! I lean over the side of my bed and brace myself. Slow breaths, Halo. You can do this. Everything will be okay. I take a slow breath, but the pain is too intense. I’m losing it. What should I do? It’s too soon. This baby wasn’t meant to come for another three weeks. Jenny and Dave aren’t back from Florida yet. Who the hell should I call? Fuck! Here comes another one. Holy hell, it feels like my insides are being squeezed to death. This can’t be good. My contractions are five minutes apart. Little beads of sweat trickle down my forehead and my heart accelerates. I never anticipated being alone for something like this. For this I was supposed to have a partner by my side. Thomas had stuck by my side. He’d put his own dreams on hold. I knew with everything in me that

he would always be by my side. The contraction subsides. I rise from the bed, huffing out slow breaths as I wobble over to the window facing the backyard. I place my hand on the cool glass, which feels nice on my heated skin. The sky is a midnight blue and the stars are sparse. I watch the clouds slowly moving and concentrate on breathing slowly through my nose and exhaling out of my mouth. I’m on the verge of panic. Being alone means I don’t have the luxury of melting down. “Even darkness must pass,” I whisper the wise words of Tolkien, keeping my eyes glued on the large backyard covered in at least two feet of snow, anything to distract my mind from the fear that threatens to swallow me whole. Thomas and I had shared a love of books. We quoted Tolkien’s words all the time. I look back to the clock on the night table. It’s three a.m. Even though Thomas has been gone for just over seven months, I still sleep on my side of the bed. It’s messed up, but when someone like Thomas makes a promise to come back to you no matter what, you believe it, you breathe it and it enters your soul. People like Thomas are loyal. They don’t make promises and then break them. They sure as fuck don’t walk out on their pregnant wives. When he left on previous deployments I always missed him when he was gone and waited

for his return. This time was different. I waited for him to make contact. It never came. Then the divorce papers were delivered and I understood… Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I usually don’t swear, but I can’t stop cussing. This pain is maddening. I’m going to lose it in a minute. Maybe it’s good Thomas isn’t here for this because all I can think about right now is gripping his balls and twisting so he can understand my pain. Flakes of snow begin to fall from the sky. Usually I love watching the snow fall. It relaxes me on a good day. Right now it’s only adding to my anxiety. I’m worried about driving myself to the hospital with the snowy roads. My car is more of a death trap than a vehicle. I turn away from the window and walk over to the closet. I grab an orange beach bag off the floor and I begin to fill it with pajamas and a change of clothes. I thought I had more time to prepare. My best friend Jenny was overdue for all three of her children. I thought going beyond the baby’s due date was the norm. I was hoping Thomas would sense my broken heart and walk through our front door when I needed him most. I tried reaching him through all the routine channels. I even called some of the wives of his fellow SEALs on his team. I figured they would be sympathetic to my situation and they definitely were. They asked their husbands about Thomas.

Avery, the wife of one of Thomas’s fellow SEALs, said that Thomas had seemed pretty messed up but that he was definitely on active duty. I then asked her to send the message for him to call home since she was in contact with her husband. That call never came. A couple months later I learned his team had gone dark and they were expected to stay that way for a while. I step into the bathroom and with shaky hands throw my toothbrush and some toothpaste in the bag too. I planned to take off school a week early and buy diapers, get sleepers and fix the truck. With being a teacher I didn’t want to leave the classroom while in the middle of a unit. I wanted to wrap things up. With the baby coming three weeks early my plans have been quashed and I am now unprepared. Unfortunately for me none of my plans ever seem to work out. Ow! Shit! Here comes another one. The bag slips out of my fingers and my hands go to my swollen belly to brace for the impending contraction. My face scrunches up. I can’t do those damn slow breaths I was taught to do, because these damn contractions are owning my ass. I think that was four minutes. I hunch forward as the contraction rips its way through me. I close my eyes and pray. I pray that Thomas will walk through the door this second, or that Jenny will for some unforeseen reason end her vacation in Florida

early. “Charlie what should I do?” I ask, looking into the brown eyes of my Golden Retriever. She stares back at me and I can tell she understands what’s happening. I’m sure she’d try to help if she could speak. I don’t know how I would have gotten through these last months without her. She has cuddled me and let me cry on her more times than I care to remember. “What do you say, Charlie? Ambulance or a taxi?” Charlie tilts her head to the side and lets out a cute little moan followed by a louder bark. “Taxi it is then.” I pat her head. An ambulance will make me even more anxious than I already am. I’m about to lose my shit in another minute. I walk over to the phone on the nightstand and call the cab company. A man with an East Indian accent picks up and tells me he could have the cab here in five minutes. I bet that’s even faster than the ambulance. My heart is racing a mile a minute and my hands are clammy. I hang up the phone and try to focus. I’m not sure I will make it through this on my own. I always had it in my head that somehow he would come home for this. I really believed that when he left it wasn’t final. I was his Halo. He promised me that I was his fucking Halo… I quickly throw on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. My hair is tied up in a messy bun at the

top of my head. I pick up the beach bag and throw in a hairbrush. I know I’m running out of time before another contraction hits and I need to make it down the stairs… Nothing in my life goes as planned why should giving birth be any different? As I reach the bottom of the stairs another contraction hits. I topple over, trying to breathe like I was taught in my prenatal classes. Charlie is rubbing her body along my leg. My only thought is that the prenatal teacher was batshit crazy. There is no way I can breathe through this pain. It’s probably more like I will stop breathing. I’m dying… No. I will keep my shit together because I need to be strong. This baby inside me is going to need a strong mother. I’ve been trying to convince myself of this for the past seven months but I feel like I am fooling myself. I met Thomas when I was fifteen. Since then, he’s been my whole world. Now that he isn’t here, I’m a broken mess, scared of raising this baby on my own. The contraction finally passes. Feeling spent and thirsty, I waddle to the kitchen for a glass of water. I gulp down one glass, then another. While I’m at the sink, I fill Charlie’s water dish. I take care of her food too, reminding myself to let the neighbor know that she’ll need to look in on her. I head for the door, knowing the cab will be here soon. I pass the living room and I spot a photo

of Thomas and me on the mantel. I walk over to it, feeling hot fury burning in my chest. “Damn you, Thomas Wells,” I hiss at his picture. “You promised me you were the stickingaround type and this doesn’t fucking constitute sticking around…” I pick up the frame and lay it face down. I’ve put most of our pictures in a box in the attic. Right after he left, I was in so much pain, felt so alone. Staring at his photographs made it hurt more. This was the only picture I left around the house. It was taken after we got married. We both look so young and hopeful. The prick knew how to get me pregnant, he just couldn’t manage to hang around. My gaze shifts to my water polo trophies on the shelf by the fireplace. Even looking at the trophies right now makes me angry and I feel like chucking them across the room. My parents thought a team sport would be good for me when we moved out here. It’s how I met Thomas. Anger stings its way up my throat. I realize how resentful I am. I know I need to get myself together because I can’t show the baby that I resent its father. I know better than that. I make my way to the door and put on my boots and winter coat. Charlie takes a seat beside me, looking up at me with soppy brown eyes. “Don’t worry, girl. I’ll be just fine. I’ll be back with a baby in hand.” I pat her on the head. Two minutes later a

bright light shines into the house followed by a loud car horn. The cab. I leave the house and lock the door with my little beach bag and purse on my shoulder. As I approach the cab, the cabbie looks at me a little wide-eyed. It’s now three-thirty in the morning and a very pregnant woman is climbing into his cab. “Where to ma’am?” he asks as if he already knows—he just wants me to choose a hospital. “St. Joseph’s Hospital…” Another contraction strikes and I hold on to my belly screaming. My head falls back when he accelerates abruptly. “Holy shit! Ma’am, I’m driving. Just don’t have that baby in my cab.” I can’t even answer him. This contraction is even stronger. I just hope I make it to the hospital on time. Having a baby in the back of a cab with no drugs is simply not happening. The driver is driving like a maniac down the slippery roads. I hope he doesn’t kill us trying to get there. The contraction subsides. Phew! I use my breathing time to shoot my neighbor Maggie a quick text asking if she can stop by and take care of Charlie. The cab stops abruptly and I jerk forward, feeling a strong need to pee. He pulls up to the front of St. Joseph’s and I reach for my purse to pay him. He looks like he’s sweating. “It’s okay ma’am. Don’t pay me, just go…please just go,” he practically begs me.

I’m too panicked to pay him much attention. I take my purse and bag and leave his cab. If these contractions are regular, another one should hit in about a minute. As I walk toward the hospital entrance, warm liquid slowly trickles down both my legs. Shit! I’ve either just peed myself or my water broke. I really have no clue. All I know is that I am uncomfortable and wet. The air is brisk and cool as I make my way through the sliding doors of the hospital and up to the information desk. “Labor and delivery, please,” I ask with a hint of a smile since it’s the best I can manage under the circumstances. “Sure ma’am, that’s the tenth floor. Should I call for assistance?” the young African American man behind the desk asks with a kind smile. “Huh. Aghhh!” I topple forward as I brace myself for another contraction. “I need an epidural,” I scream. This is getting intense. The man leaves his desk and comes around to my side. He jogs over to the entrance and grabs me a wheelchair, huffing a bit. “Have a seat, ma’am. I’ll get you to the tenth floor.” I take a seat, trying to breathe through this pain. It’s too damn much. My insides are crushing me. Finally, I sense some relief when the squeezing sensation eases into a dull pain. The physical pain turns into sadness as I’m rolled down the hallway. My father moved our

family away from California when he got a job in this hospital. I was so angry at my parents for taking me away from my friends and my life in LA. I was happy there. My father was a doctor and my mother a university professor. They had me later in life because they had trouble conceiving. When they finally had me, I became their life. When I was born, my mom took one look at me and was convinced I had a halo around me and hence my original name. After trying to have a baby for over a decade, she doted on me every moment of her time. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing until they became worried about my friends and their influence on me. To “save me” we moved halfway across the country. I remember coming to the hospital to visit my father. Getting wheeled down these familiar halls causes those painful memories to rip a hole through my heart. “Agh,” I cry out again as the man wheels me toward the nurse’s desk. We finally come to a stop. “Thank you, sir,” I bite out through the pain. “Good luck.” He waves, looking at me sympathetically. He should be sympathetic. I’m about to split in fucking two! “How far apart are your contractions?” A nurse with brown, short hair and wearing glasses low on her nose peers over her desk at me.

“My contractions are four minutes apart and I have a warm liquid oozing its way down my legs,” I snarl. I think my voice must sound like Darth Vader. “Are we waiting for a partner?” she asks. Jenny was supposed to be my birthing partner. She’s soaking up the sun right now. I look down to the band on my finger. Why am I still wearing it? Gah! I should have taken off the ring, especially now that we divorced, but I felt like if I took off the ring I would lose all hope that he would come back to me. It’s ridiculous and pathetic. Now I feel like whipping the wedding ring at the damn wall. “I’m on my own,” I reply, feeling the words sting my throat. I let out a breath, my body weak and tired from the contractions. “Okay, well, I need you to fill out the insurance paper work first. I will have one of the nurses come by and get you,” she answers with a frown. She passes me a clipboard with a shit-ton of papers. I’m really happy I have good insurance from work. Being a teacher and working for the city means I have at least that. I can afford to have this baby. Even though I know it’s going to be hard with being a single mom. I don’t want to return to work immediately. Ideally I want time with my baby. I begin to fill out the redundant questions when my belly begins to clench again. I squeeze the pen in my hand so hard the plastic snaps and ink spurts over my hand.

“Oh dear,” the nurse behind the desk mutters as she watches me. My head is thrown back, and I must look bright red because I’m not breathing through this pain. “Do you have an insurance card? I’ll finish this up for you.” She walks around the desk with a cloth in her hand and wipes the splattered ink off my hand. She cleans it but it doesn’t come off. “Ye…es… It’s in my wallet in my purse,” I murmur. She takes my purse and she must find what she needs because a few moments later she says, “All done. Let’s get a doctor to look at you.” She wheels me through two large, white doors. We pass many delivery rooms and as my ears register the sounds of voices—some male, some female—coming from the rooms, I can’t help but think of Thomas. I desperately wish he were here to witness the birth of our child. “Please lie on the bed. We’ll hook you up to the monitors and have one of the residents come in to see how far along you are.” A pleasant young nurse with blond hair smiles. I ask about getting something for my pain as she helps me out of my clothes and into a gown. After I’m settled on the bed, she reassures me that they can get something for me as soon as they assess my condition. It’s a relief when—after they hook me up to the monitors—I hear my baby’s heartbeat. That little

heartbeat warms my own heart and I exhale a long breath. There is light at the end of this tunnel. I hope I can do okay by my baby. I think about my own parents—they made their mistakes but they still did the best they could. I feel so far away from the teenager who was once given everything that it’s hard to reconcile who I am now with who I was just a few years ago. I barely register meeting the doctor and when the anesthesiologist comes to administer the epidural, I just try to hold on through the pain. They assign me a delivery nurse—her name is Judy and I love her smile—and she’s so kind I want to weep. “How are you doing, Halo?” Judy asks and I practically want to hug her. I don’t remember the last time someone asked me how I was doing. I don’t have too many close friends except for Jenny and Dave. They don’t judge, they only support me. I have a larger group of friends and coworkers who I eat lunch with on school days, but those friends were more for the good times, not the bad. There was no way I was going to cry them a river. Thomas and I were given the option of living close to a military base so that I would have the support of the other military wives. I had always considered that option and then panic would begin to rise in me. The house in Rogers Park was all I had left of my parents. I felt like if I moved away I

would lose the connection I felt there. As it was, I had felt guilty about fighting with them. I felt that if they somehow knew I stayed in the house they would be happy. And somewhere along the way Chicago became home. Thomas and I had built special memories here. I didn’t want to leave those behind either. “Well, Judy, I could be better. I’m kind of freaking out wondering how this baby is going to come out of me,” I admit, raising my left brow. Judy throws her head back, laughing. “You don’t need to worry. Your body was built for this. Why don’t you try to sleep? It can take a few hours for things to progress since the epidural slows things down. You need your strength for pushing later on. I will be sitting here watching your machines.” Her voice is soft and reassuring. “Thanks, Judy.” I smile. There is something about her demeanor that relaxes me. I feel I can trust her. I close my eyes and drift off. *** WANT TO READ MORE OF HALO? HEAD ON OVER TO AMAZON.

Acknowledgements I wanted to write this story for quite some time now. After an immensely busy year, I finally sat down, and this story truly came pouring out of my heart. I want to thank everyone that has been involved in this wonderful journey. I want to thank Sarah Hansen for an amazing cover. She knocked this one out of the ball park. To Ben Cummings the photographer who so brilliantly thought of the idea of getting a shot of Jase Dean in the bath. Lol. To my wonderful beta reading team. Karen Hrdlicka, you have stuck with me from the beginning, and I cherish your advice so much. To T my wonderful developmental editor. To Ellie McLove, thank you for putting up with me on another project and your eye for detail. To Renita McKinney, you are the gold standard in proofreading. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your care and help. To my lovely agent, Stephanie Delamater Phillips thank you for all your sound advice and all your amazing work. To Veronica Rae, thank you for all your marketing genius and beautiful graphics.

To all the incredible bloggers who worked tirelessly day in and day out to get content to readers just because you love books. I appreciate your devotion, your efforts and your time so so much. I want to thank my kids for putting up with my writing. Finally, to you my lovely readers. Thank you for reading this book. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. For those reading my book for the first time welcome. And for those that have been with me from the start on this crazy journey. I thank you all truly from the bottom of my heart. Please stay in touch because I love to connect and talk books. For the latest news on my releases, cover reveals and sales sign up for my Newsletter here: http://rcstephens.com/newsletter/

About R.C Stephens R.C. Stephens was born in Toronto, Canada. She graduated from York University with a Master’s Degree in Political Science. R.C. is an avid reader, so when she isn’t cooking for her clan or on her laptop writing, she’s snuggled tight with her Kindle devouring any romance novel she can. She’s a fan of drama and suspense but she’s also a sucker for a happy ending. Her husband was her first teenage love. They live together with their three children in Toronto. Loving Canadian winters she could never think of living anywhere else.