Out of the Wreckage - CeeCee James

OUT OF THE WRECKAGE

CEECEE JAMES

CONTENTS Dedication 1.

Jason, Sixteen Years Old

2. Summer-Present day 3. Summer 4. Summer 5. Summer 6. Jason 16 years old 7. Jason 16 years old 8. Summer Present Day 9. Summer 10. Summer 11. Summer 12. Summer 13. Autumn 14. Autumn 15. Autumn 16. Autumn 17. Autumn 18. Autumn 19. Autumn 20. Autumn 21. Autumn 22. Autumn 23. Autumn 24. Autumn 25. Winter 26. Winter 27. Winter 28. Winter 29. Winter 30. Winter 31. Winter 32. Spring 33. Spring 34. May Copyright

Dedicated to my family- my beauty from ashes

Chapter One

JASON, SIXTEEN YEARS OLD

T he water drummed off Jason’s scalp and down his naked back. He stood, hands

against the shower wall, head bowed under the hot spray as it dripped off his lower lashes. Yeah, sure it’s just water, he thought. It was pointless looking for shampoo. There wasn’t any. Like everything else, money was running out. Instead, he reached for the bar of soap and ran it through his dark hair. After a minute, he reluctantly turned the faucet off. The water stopped, taking the comfort of heat with it. Get moving. They could be coming soon. Stepping out, he quickly toweled dry, and used the towel to wipe down the shower stall. He wrapped the wet soap in a plastic bag and hid it under the sink. Hurrying downstairs, he stashed the wet towel in the dryer. Jason moved quietly, not wanting to break the ominous stillness permeating the house. In the kitchen, he poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat at the table. The ticking of the clock broke the suffocating silence. It was his grandma’s favorite clock, the one she’d brought over with her from Ireland. The clock chimed the top of the hour, and he jerked. Crap, I’m late. The teacher’s going to yell at me again. Mrs. Garret had stared down her nose when he’d been late last week. “Using your last excused tardy? Still have a long way to go this sophomore year, young man.” He tipped the bowl and drank the remaining milk. After rinsing it at the sink, he put it away. Quickly, he checked the kitchen to make sure every surface was wiped clean of his presence. Jogging upstairs, he poked his head into the bathroom, just like he had every day for the last seven weeks. All clear. He opened the door to his bedroom and grabbed his backpack. After shutting the door again, he pulled a piece of fuzz off of his sock and balanced the tiny piece of lint on the knob. Invisible, unless someone were to look for it. On his return trip, Jason took the stairs two at a time. He grabbed a second backpack—his emergency pack—from the hall closet and hoisted it onto his shoulder. The weight of it dug the strap into his flesh. He couldn’t leave by the front door. A steel lock box hung from the knob.

Instead, he headed out the slider. He slid it closed and then carefully rocked the door a fraction in its track. The latch caught, locking the door. Jason raked his hand through his hair and glanced up at the brightening sky. The sun lit the horizon with a pale peach line. Birds were waking up and chirping from the trees. The day was going to be beautiful. Rounding the corner of the house, he stowed the emergency pack under the hedge by the driveway. He kept his head ducked as he hurried down the street, blending in with the many teenagers walking towards the high school.

“Jason.” The principal stopped him in the hall. She hesitated a moment then continued. “I’m sorry about your grandma. Things going well at your uncle’s?” She reached out to touch his shoulder and he shifted uncomfortably. “Anything I can do?” she asked, her eyes filled with concern. He shook his head and shuffled the books he was holding. The students in the crowded halls split around the two of them like oil and water. A few kids glanced back, curious, then pressed forward in a rush to make it to class before the bell rang. “I’m hoping to meet him. Did he get the letter I sent?” she asked. Jason’s heart pounded in his throat and he swallowed. “Yeah, uh, I got to get going.” He jerked his head towards the classroom. The principal pressed her lips together and dismissed him with a nod. Why can’t they just leave me alone? His hands were sweating as he opened the door, almost dropping his books. Just one more period to go. Keep your head down and nose clean. After his final class, Jason jogged home, tossing furtive glances over his shoulder, careful not to be noticed. He sidled into his grandma’s yard and snagged his emergency pack on the way to the back of the house. He dropped the pack, flinching at the sound of it thudding onto the patio floor. Like he had that morning, Jason rocked the door back and forth; eventually the lock unlatched. Slipping inside, he wiped at the sweat beaded along the top of his lip. When he returned the pack to the hall closet, he noticed his hands shaking. Calm down dude. Everything’s fine. Jason pivoted slowly to survey the living room. Dust motes floated in the light from the uncovered window. He wandered through the rooms, examining closely for anything out of place, anything that had been moved. Upstairs, the lint still sat balanced on the doorknob. He fell face-down on the bed. The house was like his heart. Empty, cold. Alone. A groan escaped from the back of his throat. He needed to get his homework done, but depression had him in its grip. How much longer can I keep doing this?

“No.” he whispered. His fists clenched. “No!” Jason dropped to the floor and began doing push-ups. Not satisfied, he added a clap at the apex, eventually switching to one arm. His arms threatened to collapse, his body heat and sweat burning and washing the sadness away. That night, he sat in the dark living room eating spaghetti out of a can. His math book lay in front of him, visible only under the rectangle of orange light that fell across the floor from the streetlight outside. He squinted at the page and wrote the problem in his notebook. Finally, bone weary, he gave up and went upstairs to bed.

The sound of a key in the lock jerked Jason awake. Every muscle in his body froze for a second as he struggled to remember where he was. His muscles spasmed again. Someone’s coming. He heard voices in the living room. “As you can see, the carpet will need to be replaced. But the seller is very motivated. I’m sure we can work that into the purchase contract.” Jason jumped out of bed as though shocked by a cattle prod. He snatched the blankets up and smoothed them flat, moving faster at the sound of their voices on the stairwell. Breathe. You’ve got time. Be cool. “New paint will be needed, too.” The agent’s confident voice continued. “The woman who owned this house lived here for forty years.” “How long has the house been empty?” a male voice asked. “About two months.” “Did she die here?” A young female this time, with a high giggle. “That would be sort of creepy.” “Hmm, I’m not sure. I’d have to look into that for you.” Jason felt a burst of fury bubbling its way through his veins. No time for that. His gaze darted around the room for a place to hide. The bed’s too low. He spun in a circle. They’re definitely going to check the closet. In his search, he paused at the window. Time’s up. Quietly, he eased it open and looked down. Beneath the window lay a narrow trim board, running the length of the house. He could see the porch roof further below. The voices stopped outside his door. He levered his body over the windowsill, his pulse pounding. His fingers turned white as he clenched the window trim. His bare toes scraped on the wood as they sought space on the board. He shimmied along the trim before reaching the end of the house. From there, he dropped to the porch roof, landing with a loud crash, before rolling off to the ground. Jason lay in the grass trying to catch his breath. From upstairs, he heard the real estate lady say, “Well, that’s weird, the window’s open.” His heart thudded at the rasping sound of the window being closed and latched. He jumped to his feet, steadied himself, then hurried behind the rhododendron

bush bordering the driveway. The branches scratched his face as he crouched. Through the leaves he saw a black Escalade in the driveway. A chill ran down his back. I left my schoolbooks in my room. Will they notice? Adrenaline pumping, Jason zipped out of the yard, opening the chain link gate with a clang. He glanced up the street and didn’t see anyone. Even though the street was empty, he ducked his head. Just be cool. He breathed slowly, trying to calm down. The street ended at a T, guarded by a large maple tree. He pulled himself up into the branches. From his perch, he had a clear view of the road and his driveway. Shivering in just a t-shirt, he rubbed his bare arms, and settled back against the trunk to wait for the Escalade to leave. Fifteen minutes later a police car turned up the street, lights flashing but no siren. Jason leaned forward, eyes wide as it pulled into his driveway. His emergency pack was still locked tight in the hall closet. He slammed his palm against his forehead. You’re such an idiot. What are you going to do now? He heaved a deep breath. Don’t freak out. They’ll see nothing was stolen. In less than ten minutes, the police car headed back onto the road, followed by the black SUV. That was too close. What if they’d caught me? No freaking way I’m going into foster care. I can take care of myself. Jason watched the vehicles turn on to the next street. As unobtrusively as possible, he hurried back to the house. At the back door, he rocked the slider. When it unlatched, he ran inside for his emergency backpack, refilling the water bottle with fresh water. Heaving his pack onto his shoulder, he grabbed his jacket and took one last look around the room. His gaze stopped at his grandma’s picture on the wall. Jason kissed his hand and held it to the picture. His lip trembled and he bit it to make it stop. “Goodbye, Grandma.” He jiggled the slider locked one last time, then headed down the street.

Chapter Two

SUMMER-PRESENT DAY

M iranda rinsed her cereal bowl and glanced up as her eighteen-year-old sister

groaned from the couch. “Hey, did you know Dakota Fanning chopped off all her hair?” Cassie asked, looking up from her cell phone. “Are you on your gossip sites again? I’ll bet that hair cut is cool for summer.” Miranda ran a hand through her own thick, dark hair and lifted it off her neck, continuing to study her sister. Cassie’s cheekbones were highlighted by the sunlight reflecting off the cell phone’s screen. Miranda flashed back to the night of the horrific phone call six months ago: Get down here now, There’s been a car accident. Your sister might not make it. The memory of the car twisted like tinfoil–-it’s roof peeled back by the jaws of life–-was burned into her mind. For weeks her sister had lain in a coma, Miranda clutching her hand and willing her to wake. Miranda made a soft noise in memory of the pain. Cassie’s cornflower blue eyes turned towards her. “What’s the matter?” “Nothing. Hey, what do you think about going to the mall today?” Waggling her sneakers up and down, Cassie arched an eyebrow. “What are you saying, Mrs. Subtlety?” She pulled at the front of her t-shirt, faded and stretched out. “Are you insinuating that I can’t rock this Care Bear shirt? I’ll have you know Amanda Seyfried has this same shirt. ” “If anyone can make it work, you can,” Miranda said. “I was just thinking it’d be nice to get some new clothes.” She finished the breakfast dishes and wiped her hands on a towel. “You’ve been through a lot. I’d like to spoil you a little. Now come on, get dressed.” “Miranda,” Cassie rolled her eyes. “I am dressed.” “Oh, I knew that.” Miranda quickly spun away to hide her smile. “Well, get in the car already, lady.”

Entering the department store, Cassie broke off and headed towards the junior’s

section. At only five foot two, just her blonde head of curls could be seen bobbing above the racks. “Hey, what do you think about these?” Miranda pulled a pair of jeans off and held them up. Cassie stared at her and snapped her gum. “Sis, I love you. But let me do the picking.” Shrugging, Miranda put them back. She’d have loved to be able to fit into those. At twenty-two, Miranda was still slender, but her junior figure had long since been replaced by adult curves. Cassie seized another pair and grabbed the tag to read the size. “All right, these might work. I’ll be right back.” She headed for the changing room with Miranda following close behind. A few minutes later Cassie came strutting out like she was on a catwalk. At the mirror she flicked her hair and struck a pose. Spinning around she asked, “Well? Do they make my butt look big?” Miranda shook her head. “No way. Not even close.” “What?” Cassie exclaimed, her eyes widening frantically. “I hate them then!” She stormed off into the dressing room. Miranda raised her eyebrows at her sister’s retreating back. What the heck? A mother waiting across from her smiled, a look of sympathy etched across her face. “Wrong answer,” she said to Miranda. “I guess so.” Miranda shook her head. Cassie stalked out of the dressing room with the offending jeans draped over her arm. She handed them over to the attendant and resumed her search. Miranda settled back on one of the black-and-white checked vinyl couches outside the dressing room. She pulled a wisp of her shoulder-length brown hair and examined the tips for split ends, frowning as she found some. Need a haircut. After a minute, Cassie reappeared with two more pairs of jeans. “I’ll be right back,” she muttered, a little grouchily, “I’ll be here,” Miranda gestured at the bench with an eye roll. She pushed up the sleeves of her Henley and crossed her legs. Cassie came out a minute later with a big smile nailed to her face. “How about these?” “Oh man!” Miranda exclaimed. “Those make your butt look so big.” “Really?” Cassie squealed. “Yeah.” Miranda nodded. “Huge even.” The mother on the other bench turned her head to hide her smile. “Awesome! I’ll take them!” Cassie twirled around in front of the mirror again, admiring her slender frame from every angle. She shot a grin at her sister, before dancing back to the dressing room. After finding the pants, the two sisters rifled through racks of shirts. Every one Miranda pulled out, Cassie wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “I give up!” Miranda threw her hands in the air.

“Don’t feel bad. You’re just not into my style.” Cassie said, holding a pink offthe-shoulder shirt up to her chest. “I like this one.” Miranda’s hand touched her mouth. “Kind of low cut? Huh?” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, Mom.” “Whatever, Cassie. I’ll always worry about you.” “It’s okay, I get it. You can’t help your nagging ways.” Miranda groaned. “Get your shirt and let’s get out of here. I’m hungry.”

Miranda paid for the clothing, and Cassie scooped up the bags. “Thanks, Sis.” She flashed a grin at Miranda. “That was fun.” “What will be more fun is if we can get a table at the Cheesecake Factory. I’m starving.” “I like the way you think.” They meandered out of the store. Cassie froze for a second, and Miranda glanced to see what was wrong. Across from them was a display of baby clothes. Cassie swallowed, and looked up at her sister with pain-stricken eyes. Miranda wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders, giving her a soft squeeze, and led her out. They wandered down to the other end of the mall. In an attempt to cheer her up, Miranda pointed out a cellphone cover that said, “I love my nose job,” at a kiosk. “I should get one just so people would say how natural my nose looks.” “Or they might say the doctor really botched your job, and have you considered suing?” Cassie countered, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “What are you talking about? You have the same nose.” By the time they arrived at the Cheesecake Factory, Cassie was smiling again. The restaurant was crowded but the hostess was able find them a booth. “So,” Miranda asked, after the waiter took their order. “How are you doing?” “What do you mean? You see me every day.” “I know, but back there…I mean, how are you really doing?” Cassie pursed her lips and rested her chin in her hand. She blinked dark eyelashes, thick and full without the need for makeup. “I still can’t believe Leif is in the army. I miss him.” Miranda nodded. “Yeah, I get it. I bet you do. Have you heard from him recently?” Cassie shook her head. “Nothing since he’s been sent to Afghanistan. I know it’s good for us though,” she murmured as if to convince herself. “He finally has his career he’s always dreamed of. And I can go to school. ” They both glanced up as the waiter returned with their bread and salad. “I know, but it can’t be easy.” Miranda picked at her lettuce. Cassie bit her bottom lip, her pain and tension visible in the lines of her face. “Oh man, I messed up,” she confessed, looking at Miranda. Her eyes magnified

with unshed tears. “He asked me if I thought he should do it. Life was so crazy. We were constantly fighting. I figured maybe we needed some space, so I said yes. I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life! What was I even thinking?” “Shh,” Miranda said. She scooted around to her sister’s side of the booth and pulled Cassie into a hug. “If it’s meant to be, a little space isn’t going to stop it. You two have been through so much in the last year. I can understand why you thought maybe some time apart would be good. It was probably hard to sort out how much of your relationship was built around the baby and the accident, and how much was love.” Cassie sobbed on her shoulder. “I’m an idiot, I need him.” “It’s okay to miss him, Cassie. He was and is a big part of your life. But he’s not gone for good. This will give him some time to figure things out.” Miranda smoothed her sister’s hair back from her face. “It’s going to be good for you, too. You’ll see. You both need a little time.” Cassie swiped her fingers beneath her eyelid. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if I just lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” “I promise you haven’t. If the love is there, it will stay there. People have long distance relationships all the time.” Cassie nodded. “All of this seemed so clear at the time. It felt like the right decision for him to make, but now that it’s happened I hate it.” “Maybe you just feel trapped because it feels irreversible. But you guys are going to be okay and even stronger on the other side of this.” “I hope so, Miranda.” “You will be, you’ll see. You’re only eighteen still, and so is he. You both still have some growing, and healing to do. And I’ll be here to help. I’ve got your back.” “Yeah, I know you do. I’m just so lonely.” Cassie’s bottom lip trembled. “You aren’t alone, Chickee.” “That’s easy for you to say. You have Jason.” Miranda studied her sister for a moment and continued. “I know it feels like I don’t understand, but think about what Jason and I went through to finally be together. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was a nightmare. But we needed time too. Take it from me. I know what I’m talking about. After all, I’ll be twenty-three in a week. I’m an old lady compared to you.” Cassie laughed. “Well, don’t be getting all senile on me. I’m going to need you for a long time.”

Chapter Three

SUMMER

A fter a long afternoon of shopping, Miranda breathed a sigh of relief as she

parked the Jeep in their driveway. The two sisters, along with Jason, had inherited the place from their adopted Uncle Stew after he died several years earlier. The house had been their refuge and security after being homeless as kids. Miranda took in a deep breath of contentment as she stared out into the lake. It cemented them as a family, and still made Miranda feel secure today. She glanced over by the barn. The beat-up Chevy truck was gone, but Jason had mentioned earlier that he was going fishing. Miranda cast an anxious eye over at Cassie, her head resting against the seat. She looked pale. It was no wonder she wasn’t feeling well. It hadn’t been that long since her car accident. “I didn’t tire you out at the mall today, did I?” Miranda asked. “No.” Cassie raised her arms and stretched. “I’m fine.” She slowly climbed out, whistling for the dog. Miranda rounded the Jeep to the hatch and grabbed the bags. Archer didn’t show up with his tail wagging in greeting as they walked up the porch steps. “Jason must have taken him along,” Miranda said as she juggled the bags to get her house key out. She tripped over her muddy hiking boots as she opened the door, and fell inside. “Lovely, just as graceful as ever,” she muttered. Cassie gave a weak grin and started up the stairs. “On second thought, I think I’m going to lie down for a bit.” “Okay, sure.” Miranda’s hand hovered by Cassie’s elbow as she followed her into her room. “Go slow.” “Good grief. I’m fine!” Cassie laughed. “I’m just a bit tired. Think I’m starting my period.” “Oh. Want a heating pad?” Miranda said and dropped the clothing bags by the doorway. Cassie shook her head. Miranda started to pull the door closed, and then hesitated. Glancing back she asked, “Is this hard? I mean.…” she paused, not knowing how to continue. “Is what hard?” “Not being…. pregnant?”

Cassie lowered herself onto the edge of the bed and stared out the window. She touched her stomach briefly before resting her hands in her lap. “Yes. I’ve felt empty inside since the miscarriage.” She looked at Miranda, her eyes brimming with tears. “That’s going to take some time to get over, I think.” “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. I mean, it’s not. But this isn’t your fault. It would have been hard. I mean, I can’t even imagine being a single mom with Leif in the army. But, then again, if the baby had lived, maybe Leif wouldn’t have gone. Our lives would have been very different.” Miranda bit her lip, her heart aching at her sister’s pain. And it crushed her that there was nothing she could do to fix it. “Well, that’s water under the bridge. No way to know now.” Cassie straightened her back. “It’s a confusing soup of emotions.” “I’m always here for you if you want to talk. Any time. And if I say the wrong thing, let me know.” “Thanks, Sis. I do think about the baby every day.” A sad smile flitted across Cassie’s face. “Maybe Mom and Dad are taking care of him right now.” “And Poppy.” Cassie smiled at the name of her childhood dog. “Yes, Poppy.” “I love you, Chickee.” “I love you, too.” Cassie peeled back the quilt and climbed into her bed. As she pulled the covers over the top of her, Miranda shut the door. An afternoon storm was rolling in, and the light downstairs in the living room had gone grey. The pattering sound of rain was quashed by a distant boom of thunder. Miranda snapped on the kitchen overhead light. “Feels like cookie-making weather,” she said to herself. She pulled out flour, oil and chocolate chips and then headed to the fridge for eggs. After gathering a few more things, she dumped everything into the mixer and flipped it on. The rain splashed off the driveway in a cozy way and drummed on the porch roof. She spooned the dough on the cookie sheets and slid them into the oven. “I’m not forgetting the timer this time,” she reminded herself. Poor Jason had hated those hard-as-rock cookies. But these were going to be different. She gave the mixing bowls a quick wash and placed them on a towel to dry. The front door slammed open. Miranda jumped at the sound as Jason and their black German Shepherd, Archer, entered. “Hi, boys,” Miranda’s face broke into a huge smile. Archer bounded over and jumped on her. She grabbed him playfully by the scruff of his neck and reared back as he tried to slurp the side of her face. “Ew! No licking!” Pushing him down, she examined her pants, now covered in muddy footprints. “Archer!” “What the heck?” Jason leaned his fishing pole against the doorframe and walked over, wiping the rain off of his face. “The dog gets a better welcome from my girlfriend than I do.” His eyes squinted. “Maybe I should try licking your

cheek.” He peeled off his jacket, slinging it across the back of a chair with a wet thud. “Come here, you big hunk of a fisherman.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and stared into her blue eyes. “Hi love,” he whispered, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. She brushed it back. “Got caught in the storm, huh? You catch anything?” “Yeah. No pork and beans tonight.” Jason led her by the hand out to the porch and gestured to a styrofoam ice chest. “Come see what I got.” Miranda paused, a little uncertain. “Okay.…” She allowed him guide her to the cooler. He pried off the lid and then flashed her a big grin. The proud expression on his face tugged at her heart. So cute! She looked down at the row of five silver fish lying on the bed of pink-tinged ice, and unconsciously wrinkled her nose. “Nice,” she said, swallowing. “Nice?” he mimicked and snapped the lid back down. “Sweetie, that’s dinner right there.” He darted a glance at her. “And don’t even be thinking about eating cereal.” She shook her head in the negative but failed to convince him. “Oh, brother,” he said. “You just wait until I pull those off the barbecue. You’ll be throwing that sawdust-in-a-box into the garbage.” He bent to scratch Archer’s neck. “Huh, ol’boy? I bet even you wouldn’t eat that cereal.” “Of course not. He only eats dog food,” Miranda teased. “That’s right.” Jason pointed at her. “I’m glad I finally got you trained.” Miranda’s mouth dropped open as she popped him on the arm with her open palm. “I’ll train you, buddy.” He winked and straightened. “Sounds fun. Can we start now?” She laughed then, her deep husky one that he loved so much. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, “I love it when you laugh like an old man. So sexy.” “Jason! An old man? You’re making it difficult to remember why I fought so hard for you.” He tipped her head back. “I’ll help you remember.” Softly, he brought his lips to hers. His fingers ran through her hair, cupping the back of her head as his thumb stroked her jawline. He opened his mouth and his whiskers lightly rubbed against her chin. She melted against him as he deepened the kiss. His other arm snaked around her to support her. After a minute they broke apart, leaving Miranda breathless and craving more. He arched an eyebrow at her, his green eyes lively. “You remember now or do you need another reminder?” She smiled. “I’ll take all the reminders I can get.” Miranda leaned back in his arms. Looking up at him, the hint of a smile at the side of his mouth transported Miranda back to the day she’d first met Jason. He’d been homeless at the time, sleeping in the woods outside of town. The sisters had been on the run to escape from their crazy uncle when they’d found Jason. Miranda

smiled as she remembered how Jason had won Cassie over with a Twinkie. He glanced up now, his arms stiffening around her. “What’s that beeping sound I keep hearing?” Miranda jumped away. “Oh no! That’s the timer!” “Timer?” Jason looked afraid. “Cookies, hun. I made you some cookies.” The last comment was thrown over her shoulder as she ran into the house. Smoke greeted her, along with the black smell of charred food. She grabbed a towel and pulled out the trays, tossing them on top of the stove. Miranda stared at them a second. The disappointment was crushing. “Aww. It’s not that bad.” Jason stepped behind her and rubbed her shoulders. “Honest. Just a little scraping off the bottom and they’ll be fine.” She shook her head. “I really tried.” He gave her shoulders a final squeeze before walking over to the sheet. Grabbing a spatula, he pried off a cookie and bit into it. “Mmmm,” he said in exaggerated enjoyment. “You don’t have to do that.” Miranda said. A chuckle reluctantly escaped her as he crunched through the rest of the cookie. “It made you smile,” he answered. “I’ll eat the rest for that smile.” She leaned against him and he hugged her, his hand rubbing her back. “There’s always next time, I guess,” she muttered. Jason’s arm’s tensed. “Sure. Next time.” He pushed her away slightly to study her face. “Or maybe we could find you another hobby. Like concrete repair.” “Jason! You were doing so well!” He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Come on. The rain’s stopped. Let’s open those windows and go barbecue some fish.” Miranda followed him, blissfully unaware that an old friend would soon be tearing her world apart, as her phone buzzed unheard with a text.

Chapter Four

SUMMER

“Stupid son-of-a—” Jason lay on his back under the truck and wrenched on the

oil filter. It wouldn’t budge. Archer crouched down to looked under the truck, his nose anxiously nuzzling Jason’s leg. “Oh, you’re coming off. You better believe it.” Jason cranked the wrench down tighter and yanked again. His face contorted and turned red from the effort, and his worn boots scrabbled in the dirt for purchase as his temper rose. With a crack, it finally broke free. “Yes!” he shouted, and lay there a second to catch his breath. He reached up with grease-stained fingers and finished unscrewing the filter. Setting it to one side, he opened the box and extracted the new one. He seated it in place and then hauled himself out from under the truck. Dirt and leaves covered the back of his torn t-shirt. He searched for a towel and wiped his oil streaked arms. Frowning, he studied the greasy black filth forming crescents under his nails. He stuck a funnel into the fill-hole of the engine and upturned a fresh bottle of oil into it. At the sound of a car rumbling down the driveway, his brow furrowed. Miranda wasn’t due home for another hour. A sleek black Audi ambled passed the barn, its wheels flashing silver in the sunlight. Jason watched it navigate around the potholes he’d forgotten to fill. He snorted when it bottomed out on one of the holes. “Who the heck is this?” he mumbled to Archer. The dog whined at him before staring back at the car. The car rolled to a stop in front of the lake cabin. It was as out of place in Jason’s yard as a tiara on a pig. With a luxurious click, the car door opened, and a blond man in a grey tailored suit stepped out. He casually surveyed the yard as he fastened his coat, a wry smile on his face. His perfectly shaped hair remained impervious to the breeze coming off the lake. “Probably uses man mousse.” Jason’s lip curled as he sneered down at Archer. The dog watched the stranger with interest, his head bobbing between the man and

Jason. “It’s okay, buddy. He’s not worth the effort of barking.” Jason scratched the dog’s head. “Look at that lily-white skin. I doubt he’s been in the sun much. Seems a bit puny to me.” Jason found a towel and wiped his hands again. Tossing it on the bench, he walked out of the barn. “Can I help you?” he called. Archer stood with his ears forward and alert. The man glanced over at the sound of Jason’s voice and raised his hand. “Hey there!” A grimace crossed the stranger’s face as he walked through the disturbed driveway dust, and he tried not to cough. Jason smirked as the man glanced down at his Ecco shoes. “How’re you doing?” the man called as he came closer “What can I help you with?” Jason bluntly cut to the chase. “Is Miranda here?” Jason’s mouth fell open. What does he want with Miranda? “Maybe. Who are you?” “I’m sorry. So rude.” The man’s grin widened, revealing perfectly straight white teeth. Jason’s eyes narrowed. “My name’s Dylan.” He strode forward, his hand outstretched. Jason stared at it suspiciously, then slowly reached out to take it. They shook, Jason still withholding his name. “How do you know Miranda?” Jason asked. “Oh,” Dylan scratched his chin as he smiled. He glanced at his Rolex. “I guess you could say we’re old acquaintances.” Jason squinted his eyes. “That’s strange.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’ve known Miranda most of her life and she’s never mentioned you.” Dylan paused, his eyes flickering at the challenge. His smile reappeared, lips tighter this time. “Well then, you obviously don’t know her as well as you think.” That’s it. Jason wanted to wipe that smug expression right off his face. “Maybe you were just unimportant enough to slip her mind.” Dylan laughed. “That was definitely not the case. If anything, I blew her mind.” He stepped back towards his car with a little wink at Jason. “You let her know I was here. But if not, don’t worry. I’ll track her down.” “Yeah, you better get going.” Jason nodded and clenched his jaw. Images of his fist making good acquaintance with Dylan’s salesman smile flashed through his head. “Hey. You got a little something on you.” Dylan indicated his cheek with his finger. “Right about here.” Jason turned away and stalked back into the barn. Archer let out a deep warning bark before following him. The car door slammed shut. The Audi’s engine revved and it spun around, leaving a circle of dust. After steering around the potholes, the car raced out of the driveway and onto the road.

Jason grabbed the empty oil container from the funnel, and replayed Dylan’s superior attitude in his mind. Fury burned through him as he slowly crushed the plastic container in his fist. He looked at it for a second and curled his lip into a snarl before throwing the container against the wall. “Little snot-nosed creep.” He wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand. At the tone of Jason’s voice Archer scurried from underfoot. Jason slammed the hood down and stormed into the house. He opened the front door with a crash. Cassie’s head shot up, her eyes wide from where she sat curled on the couch reading a book. “Good grief, what’s got into you?” Jason stomped across the hardwood floor on the way to the sink. Not answering, he scrubbed at his hands. Cassie folded the corner over on the page and set the book down next to her, before joining him in the kitchen. “Who pulled into the driveway? Wrong house?” Jason gritted his teeth. His knuckles shone white as he shut the hot water off. “Hello?” Cassie tilted her head, eyebrows lifted in confusion. “Just some punk named Dylan.” Wiping his hands on a dishtowel, he glanced over at her. “You ever heard of him?” “No. Should I have?” She took another look at him. “What’s the matter with you?” Jason threw the towel in the dirty laundry basket, his muscles bunching under his shirt. “He said he was looking for Miranda.” Cassie mouth formed an O. “Weird. No, I’ve never heard her mention him.” “According to him, they know each other real well.” Jason glared at her. With a flounce, she headed back to the couch. “Sheesh. It isn’t my fault. Quit making that face at me.” He tore his gaze away and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry. I just can’t stand how that punk kid tried to stare me down. He drives a fancy car and thinks his crap don’t stink. I’d like to take him down a peg.” “Well,” Cassie said, “if he’s that type of guy then I don’t expect he meant much to Miranda. She detests that kind of attitude.” Jason didn’t answer. The muscles in his jaw flexed. “Trust me.” Cassie injected a tone of confidence. “She can’t stand blow-hard snobs.” “Yeah. Well, this guy seems to think differently.” He glanced at the clock. Still half an hour before Miranda was due home. He chewed the inside of his lip and drummed his fingers on the counter. Finally he spun around and opened the refrigerator. Might as well cook dinner. He pulled out a pack of chicken thighs, and rummaged in the back until he found the barbecue sauce. After setting them on the counter, he spun back and grabbed a beer. Beer and barbecue always worked to clear his mind, and right then, he was in the mood to burn something.

Chapter Five

SUMMER

“Y ou remember when you took me up the side of the cliff? How it was a sign of

trust?” Miranda asked. Immediately suspicious, Jason paused mid-bite, his toast hovering inches from his mouth. He still hadn’t mentioned Dylan’s visit to her, and wondered if she’d discovered it somehow. “Yeah?” “Well,” Miranda’s eyes glowed with anticipation. She picked up her cereal box and returned it to the pantry. “There’s a place I’ve been wanting to take you ever since.” Jason relaxed and slowly crunched his toast. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Oh. You’ll love it. I promise. And since we don’t have any plans today, it’s the perfect time to go.” “Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise.” She sang the last word like an excited child. “Miranda, I’d never call you annoying, but—” She shot a look at him. “Quit your complaining and let’s go.” “Should I change?” He glanced down at his faded t-shirt and holey jeans. “You’re fine, but that shirt reminds me it’s time to take you clothes shopping.” “Good. I guess that rules out ballroom dancing.” He pulled at his shirt. “And what’s wrong with my clothes?” The thought of Dylan’s suit flashed through his mind. She laughed. “Nothing hun. Now let’s go.”

The cave was dank and cool when they entered it. Scrub bushes grew around piles of fallen rocks outside the entrance. “This is from my list of one hundred places to visit in Washington. I’m on number seventeen now,” Miranda said in a low voice. “Errr,” Jason started as he ducked his head to avoid the low ceiling. “You sure this is safe?”

“Relax, my love. I’ve been here a thousand times.” “A thousand times and I’ve never heard about it once?” It made him wonder what other secrets she was keeping. “Okay, maybe just a couple of times.” Miranda grinned. “But I promise, it’s safe.” She started forward, splashing in a shallow trickle of water running along the floor of the cave. When she didn’t hear him following, she looked back. He still stood at the entrance, his hands pressed against the ceiling. “I’m not sure about this,” he muttered. Miranda smiled. “I promise it’ll be okay.” She splashed back to his side and rubbed his arm. “I know it’s scary, but just trust me.” He rolled his eyes, and when she laughed the sound of it seemed to disappear, as if swallowed by the damp cavernous walls. “Using that line on me, are you?” he growled. “I’ve never used a line on you.” She gave him her most innocent look and batted her eyes. “Right about now I wish I could just click my heels and poof! I’m sitting on a beach instead of here.” “You never know, maybe next year.” Jason scoffed. “From the looks of my bank account, that would be a miracle. Kind of like what I need to get through this right now.” He squinted to see up ahead as the cave walls receded into thick darkness. “I just don’t want my blood sucked by a bat.” “You’ve been reading too many vampire books.” “I’d never read a vampire book.” He scowled, offended. She bit back a smile. “It’s daytime, anyway. Even if there are any bats, they’re asleep now. Just keep your hands off the ceiling. You don’t want to tickle those little buggers awake.” Jason jerked his hands from the roof of the cave like it was on fire, and shuddered. “I can’t believe you’ve dragged me here.” She slipped the head lamp from her head and situated it on his. There,” she said, giving the lamp a small adjustment. “You’ll be fine. Now, hold my hand. It’s only narrow here at the entrance.” Jason’s mouth tightened into a thin line as he gripped her hand. “I don’t like cramped places,” he muttered. They edged up the slick watery track, following Miranda’s flashlight on the ground like wolves chasing after a full moon. The cave opened up after about twenty feet of slow creeping. A gust of cold air greeted them, alluding to a large empty expanse around them. Jason straightened and took a few steps forward. Miranda grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back. “Careful!” “What?” “Sorry, hun. I haven’t fully explored this part of the cave floor. You need to watch your step. Now check this out.” Jason gasped as she shone her flashlight along the ceiling. A canopy of

thousands of stalactites dripped down from above, sparkling like a crystal chandelier. “Whoa,” he muttered. ”I know, right? Crazy to think this was here all along.” She glanced up with an excited grin, made visible by his headlamp. She ran the beam of her flashlight along the walls. Jason rested his arm around her shoulders. He slowly let his breath out and said, “This is pretty incredible.” He squinted, confused, as his headlight caught a dark patch of shimmering blackness. The darkness shivered. “Uh, Jason, look down,” Miranda whispered. “I think you may have found the bats.” “Oh, c’mon,” he muttered, jerking the light away. “It’s okay. Everything’s good.” Miranda reached for his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. A squeak rose from the dark corner. Jason’s eyes widened, but he straightened his shoulders. “Come at me! I’m not afraid of some scrawny rodent.” A flutter zoomed passed his head. “Whoa!” he yelled, ducking. “All right, you’ve been a good sport. Time to go.” Miranda pushed him ahead of her towards the entrance. The loose stones along the cave bottom rolled under their feet. Building behind them came the muffled squeaks of the bats. “Run!” Miranda’s scream was drowned out by what sounded like a hurricane of flapping wings. They popped out of the entrance and dove to one side, barely escaping the black torrent of bats behind them. Falling to the ground, they both lay there gasping. “I’m shocked at how fast you move with proper motivation,” Miranda finally got out. “A thousand winged teeth will do that to a person.” Jason heaved to catch his breath, his arm flung across his red face. “I’ve never even seen a single bat in there before.” “I’m telling you they wanted to suck my blood. I’m that sweet.” Miranda ran her hand against the dark hairs on his arm. “Right! I forgot you’re so very irresistible.” He snorted and rolled over on his side. “How could you possibly forget that?” His green eyes captured hers. “I think you owe me.” He bent over her and kissed her hard on the lips. “Well, was that worth being chased by bats?” she asked. Jason flashed his crooked smile. “Don’t make me drag your butt back up the candlestick cliff again.” Miranda’s laugh froze on her face, and she flushed. “That was a one time deal, buddy.” “You liked it.”

“I only climbed it to prove I trusted you!” Jason licked at the corner of his lip. “Trust is important.” Her past relationship with Dylan shot through his mind. He hesitated, wondering if he should bring it up. “Whatever. Race you back to the car. Last one there cooks dinner.” She brushed off her yoga pants and sprinted ahead. “Oh great,” Jason sighed. “This is a lose-lose for me.” He grumbled and took off at a slow jog. Miranda made it to the car first. She danced in a circle, gyrating her hips, as Jason finally loped towards her. “Ha! I beat you!” “No, I’m just sick of letting the fire alarm be our dinner bell every time you cook.” “Jason, that only happened—” Miranda paused. It had happened more times than she cared to number out loud. “Uh huh, yeah. That’s what I thought you’d say.” Jason laughed. Miranda rolled her eyes and climbed into the Jeep.

Back at the house, Jason pulled a bottled water from the fridge and downed it in a few gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Miranda followed behind and took out her own water. “Where’d you guys go?” Cassie called from the living room. “We went out to Beckler Ridge and explored the cave,” Miranda answered. “That place is creepy. You guys are crazy.” Cassie walked into the kitchen, scooping her blonde hair back into a ponytail. Miranda shrugged. “It’s cool to explore. In the back there its like a jewelry box.” “I went to keep an eye on her.” Jason gestured to Miranda with a tip of his head. “You guys are cute.” “Speaking of cute, what’s new with What’s-his-name?” Jason asked. Cassie put her hands on her hips. “You’re still not saying his name?” Jason pulled out a package of hamburger and scowled. “Maybe never.” “Stubborn as hell.” Cassie shook her head. “Leif is fine. He sent me a letter today.” “Things are going good then?” Miranda asked. “Yes.” Cassie blushed and twirled around. Jason made a gagging noise. Turning away, he yanked down one of the hanging frying pans and slammed it on the stove. “Dinner time.” Miranda smiled. “He lost the race so he’s cooking,” she whispered to Cassie. “Thank goodness,” Cassie muttered, then ducked the towel Miranda threw at her. “What? I’m just saying you hate to cook.” “Oh, I know what you were saying.”

Jason smiled at their rapport, and tried to ignore the internal nagging voice that maybe, with a guy like Dylan, Miranda would be on vacation right now, exploring something exotic. With someone else to permanently cook for her.

Chapter Six

JASON 16 YEARS OLD

T he house crackled with nervous energy. Even Jason felt edgy, and he wasn’t the

one starting his first day of school. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat across from Uncle Stew, glancing at the old man to see if he felt it too. Uncle Stew looked up from his newspaper and caught Jason’s gaze, acknowledging it with a nod. His grey head bobbed as he blew on his coffee and took a leisurely sip. Nothing seemed to bother him. Jason flashed back to the day Uncle Stew had invited the three homeless kids to stay with him, after finding them lost in the city. “I don’t have a family. You three need a family. Seems like a perfect match.” From that day forward, the old man had opened his house to them, treating them like his own flesh and blood. “Well, young man,” Uncle Stew began, his words carrying an echo of a wheeze. “What do you have planned for today?” Jason twirled the mug in front of him, leaving wet circles on the counter top. “I figure I’ll be studying for my GED. Need to get that done so I can get a job.” The old man nodded, his blue eyes bright and youthful looking, in contrast to his white eyebrows. “You’ll get it done. I have faith in you.” Jason snorted. “Well, we’ll see about that. Don’t be putting too much faith in me just yet.” “In the end it doesn’t matter the amount of faith someone has in you. All that matters is the faith you have in yourself.” The old man nodded. Jason lowered his head and studied his coffee—anything to avoid responding. You don’t know who I really am and where I came from. Two druggie parents don’t make anything but garbage. The sound of footsteps clattering down wooden stairs saved him. Relieved, he watched Miranda run into the kitchen. “Has anyone seen my boots?” she asked. Her eyes were wild and stressed as she searched the room. “Right over there.” Jason pointed to where her ankle boots leaned against the pantry. “Oh my gosh! Who put them here?” she shrieked, clutching them to her chest. “That mysterious person would be you,” Jason answered.

Uncle Stew didn’t say anything, but stroked his beard, his hand hiding his smile. Miranda made a face at Jason and sat on the floor to put them on. Her glossy brown hair slipped over one shoulder as she bent to unzip the side. “You look nice,” Jason said. “Thanks.” She slid a finger into the heel of her boot and zipped it. “Cassie!” she yelled as she stood. “What?” Cassie called from upstairs. “Get down here!” Miranda demanded. Her ten-year-old sister clunked down the stairs, blonde hair in a fuzzy cloud around her head. She wore a plaid skirt and white button shirt. One hand held a brush, while the other was attempting to tuck in the front of her shirt. “I don’t get why I have to wear this.” Her freckled nose wrinkled. “It’s a uniform. All the girls at your school have to wear it.” Miranda took the brush from her sister’s hand. “Turn around.” Cassie eyed her suspiciously. “You aren’t arguing with Jason, are you?” “No. Why?” Miranda frowned. “I don’t like you brushing my hair when you’re arguing,” Cassie muttered and spun around. Miranda sighed and gently ran the brush through her sister’s hair. Jason carried his coffee cup to the sink and started rinsing the dishes. “Ready for breakfast?” Uncle Stew wheezed. His old man’s voice didn’t carry far. “I don’t have time, sorry,” Miranda mumbled around the rubber band she gripped between her teeth. She scooped Cassie’s hair tight against her scalp and twisted the rubber band around the ponytail. Her blond curls popped over the top like a ball of cotton candy. “You go eat,” she instructed her sister. “Oh!” Uncle Stew glanced at the clock on the wall. “Right! I see it’s time to get you to school.” Miranda kissed Cassie’s forehead. “Have fun! I’ll see you this afternoon, okay?” Her sister nodded. Miranda reached for her backpack sitting beside the front door and slipped it over one shoulder. “Bye Jason!” she called and followed Uncle Stew out to the car. Jason watched the two of them leave. The house immediately became quieter. He swiped the sponge inside the coffee cup and caught Cassie studying him. “Why aren’t you going to school?” she asked. He rinsed the mug and set it to dry on the towel, then retrieved a frying pan out of the cupboard. “I’ve missed too much.” Jason half-smiled. “Can’t catch up.” “What are you going to do then?” Jason shrugged and opened the fridge. He juggled a couple eggs out of a carton and carried them over to the frying pan. “I don’t care. Guys like me don’t amount to much anyway.” His hair fell into his eyes as he cracked two eggs into the pan and tossed the shells. Cassie climbed on the stool and thumped her feet on the rungs. The eggs sizzled. Spinning the spatula, Jason continued. “But you, young lady, you’re smart. I have high expectations.” He scooped the eggs onto a plate and set it

before Cassie. She wrinkled her nose at the breakfast. “Uh Jason…” “What?” “I don’t like runny eggs.” Jason glanced at her plate and sighed. Reaching into the pantry, he pulled out a bag of bread and cracked a couple more eggs. “How about a piece of French toast instead?” Her eyes lit up. “Yes, please!” He beat the eggs with a fork then dipped bread into them and laid it in the frying pan. While it cooked, he grabbed her rejected eggs. “Can’t let these go to waste,” he said, scooping a mouthful. She watched him with one blue eye squinted. “Yuck!” “Cassie, you know better than to turn your nose up at food. You’ve felt what it’s like to go hungry.” “I’d rather eat another dandelion leaf than a runny egg.” Jason laughed and flipped the bread. “Well, I went hungry a lot longer than you. I think I can eat just about anything now.” “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?” she asked, her chin resting on her hand. A mischievous gleam twinkled in his eye. “Probably the time I boiled a slug.” “You. Did. Not.” Her eyes rolled around and she stuck out her tongue. Nodding, he responded, “Yeah. Don’t recommend it.” He passed the plate of French toast over to her then searched for the Maple syrup. “Your story just made French toast gross,” she said, staring down at the plate. Her eyebrows knotted together. “Trust me,” he said, setting down the bottle. “Syrup will help. Now hurry up. The bus will be here soon.” “What are you going to do here all alone?” He wiped down the beige counter top, then tossed the sponge into the sink. “I guess I’ll just wait until you guys come home.” “That doesn’t sound like fun.” “Yeah, just until I get my GED. Then I’ll get a job. For now, I guess I’m just a professional bum.” Cassie paused while chewing. “What do you want to be a professional of?” “Not a lot of options, I’m afraid.” “You can be whatever you want to be, Jason. Don’t let fear hold you back.” Jason grinned. “Listen to you, Mrs. Psychologist.” “It’s true!” “Where the heck did you hear that?” She picked up another piece of the toast with her fork and swirled it through a puddle of syrup. “On a talk show.” Jason frowned. He’d seen those Who’s-your-daddy talk shows. “Don’t be

watching that garbage.” “Well, you can learn a lot of good things from them.” “You’re a smart girl. You don’t need those shows to learn from. Now hurry up.” He carried the frying pan to the sink and slowly washed it. What the heck am I going to do with the day? He thought about Miranda at school, how pretty she looked, all the new people she would meet. Normal people with families and money. His heart dropped. All the guys she was going to hang out with. Guys better than him. What am I even doing here? She didn’t need him any more. At most she’d give him a pity friendship. He cringed at the thought. I did fine on my own. He dried the pan and put it away. His heart felt heavy. How is it I finally have everything I wanted, and somehow feel worse than before? I felt better living outside under a tarp watching the stars every night. “Jason!” Cassie’s high voice cut through his thoughts. He pulled his face together and put on a stiff grin as he turned back toward her. “What?’ “Walk with me to the bus stop. Miranda’s the only one that ever did before.” “What about your dad?” “No, he was too busy.” She jumped off the stool and ran over to hug his arm. “I’m so glad you’re here. You’re like the brother I never had.” Jason tousled her hair. Cute kid. “I’m probably the brother you never wanted. Go get your shoes on and grab your books.” She filled her pink backpack with her school supplies and slung it on her back. “Here,” Jason said. “Let me take that.” He brushed his hair out of his face. “Hurry! I think I hear the bus, and you don’t want to get busted for being tardy the first day of school.” “We’ll be fine, you old worry-wart.” Cassie smiled and tied her shoes. Together, they jogged the length of the driveway and headed down the road.

Chapter Seven

JASON 16 YEARS OLD

W inter rain pounded against the windowpane. The old house felt damp and cold

despite the furnace running nonstop. “Wow, quite a storm outside.” Uncle Stew wheezed and coughed. “Jason, you off work early today?” “Yeah,” Jason nodded. “I’m off at three.” “Good. Good. I need you to pick up Miranda after class.” Jason’s gaze cut away. “Why can’t she take the bus home?” “Buses will be gone. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment, or I’d do it.” Jason sighed, dread already building in the pit of his stomach. The last few months his friendship with Miranda had waned as she made friends at school. Awesome. Maybe I can get an intro to all her new besties and learn the secret handshake. “I’d appreciate it. I know it’s your early day.” Covering his mouth with a handkerchief, Uncle Stew coughed wetly into the folded cloth. “It’s no problem,” Jason lied. That afternoon, when his shift at the garage was over, Jason climbed into his white Mazda and headed for the high school. He’d been there once before, to take the GED test. His face burned with shame at the memory of how the kids out in the hallway had stared at him when he entered the testing room, one of them calling out, “Moron!” He turned into the high school parking lot, hitting the speed bump hard, and immediately grimaced. The place was a zoo. “Get out of the way,” he muttered as a group of students crossed in front of his car without looking. “Yeah, that’s great. Just walk down the middle of the road. Take your sweet time.” His sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel. Finally he found an empty spot and parked the car. Am I supposed to wait here? How’s she going to find me? He drummed his fingers on the windowsill and chewed the inside of his cheek. Impatiently, he craned his neck to watch the crowd of kids milling around at the school’s entrance. She ain’t there. Rolling his eyes, he shoved open the rusty car door and climbed out. A line of kids threaded their way in between the cars and temporarily swarmed

him. He lifted his arms to keep from touching anyone. Someone slammed into him. He spun towards the kid, fists clenched. Oh, hell no, you didn’t. But the guy gave him a half wave, “Sorry!” Jason swallowed hard in an attempt to deflate his anger. How does Miranda cope with these idiots? For a split-second he felt sorry for her, imagining her lost and intimidated by a sea of loud-mouthed kids. Then he heard her. Miranda’s old man laugh pealed across the schoolyard. Lifting his chin, he spotted her in the center of four girls, her backpack hanging from her shoulder. Relief shot through him and he waved to get her attention. Two football players stood to the right of the girls. Miranda’s eyes flashed at some joke she was sharing. One of the guys tugged on her hair and gave her a cocky look as he replied, and all the surrounding girls giggled. Miranda blasted that oldman laugh again, and the football player poked her arm. Jason’s stomach fell. She was fine. She fit right in. Yeah, you dope. And guess who doesn’t. Jason slumped against the side of the car, head down. He unconsciously rubbed his face to keep from showing any emotion, then glanced in her direction again. The guy was hugging Miranda, his meaty arms squeezing her tight. Jason’s lip curled, and he spit through his teeth before climbing back into the Mazda. I ain’t sitting here watching some guy paw all over her. She can come find me. He sank into the driver’s seat and cranked the radio. Finding a station he liked, he closed his eyes and drummed to the beat on the steering wheel. He took a deep breath in and let the rock song take over his thoughts. After a minute, he pulled out a scrap of wood from the ashtray and slid his knife from his pocket. Slowly, he scraped the knife against the wood, examining it every now and then. The miniature profile of a swan was starting to emerge. There was a tap on the window. Jason squinted to see who it was. Some girl in a crop-top smiled and gave him a little wave, her fingernails painted bright green. He rolled down the window. “Yeah?” “I’ve never seen you here before.” She winked at him. “I’m waiting for someone.” “Oh.” Her bright pink lip-glossed mouth formed a pout. “Who?” He jerked his head in Miranda’s direction, alarm shooting through him when he realized she wasn’t there. “Great, where’d she go?” “Who is it? Maybe I can help.” Her dark overly-plucked eyebrows formed apostrophes of fake worry. Jason opened the car door slowly, in an attempt not to smash into her. She scooted away on high wedges. He slammed the door and strode in the direction he’d last seen Miranda. Shrugging off the stares and whispers, he stood tall and walked right through the middle of the pack. He wasn’t going to make eye contact with any of these scumbags. Miranda, where the heck did you go? She knew I was picking her up.

Why didn’t she come find me? Several cheerleaders watched him approach. One of them, a girl with long blonde hair, broke away from the group and sashayed over. She ran her gaze along the length of his body, pausing at his greasy work shirt. “We were wondering where your sign was?” His eyebrows rose. “Excuse me?” “You know. Your homeless sign saying you’ll work for food. You need someone to write it for you?” The girls behind her laughed. Heat spread in his chest and face, but he forced himself to keep eye contact. Stupid cheerleaders. “Wow, I’m impressed. You learn that in school? Get an ‘A’ in Snot class?” “What are you talking about?” A pinch of color filled her cheeks as she nudged her friend for support. “Looks like this homeless guy wants to talk to us.” “Hey, you got something in your teeth.” He squinted with a smirk. Her hand flew to her mouth. Just then, Miranda appeared at the entrance of the building. She threw a parting remark over her shoulder, and then lightly skipped down the stairs, dark curls flying. She smiled when she caught sight of him standing there. “Jason!” The cheerleader stared at her. “You know him?” Miranda gripped her backpack, shifting uneasily. “Yes.” “He’s so rude. You need to teach him some manners.” Jason tapped his tooth. “Still didn’t get it.” “Okay. We’ll be going now.” Miranda looped her arm through his and dragged him away. She didn’t let go as she hurried him towards the car. “What happened?” Miranda whispered, her face red. “Where were you?” “I had to get my math book from my locker. Sorry I made you wait.” He licked the corner of his lip. “It’s fine. But your friends are real creeps.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh, them. They’re not my friends.” “Yeah? Why are you nice to them then? “You just have to be. It’s like a rule.” “What are you talking about, Miranda? You’re worth more than that. Why are you kissing up to them?” “I wasn’t kissing up to them!” “Yeah. Sure you weren’t.” He made kissing noises at her. She frowned and pushed him away. “Shut up. You don’t understand.” Climbing into the car, she fastened her seatbelt and sat with her arms crossed. He started the Mazda and maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. “Look. I don’t want to fight,” he finally said. “Me either.” Jason stopped at a red light, his forearm hanging lazily over the top of the steering wheel. “Man, I’m hot.” He glanced at her. “You hot? Let’s go down to the river.”

“It’s been a while.” A small smile softened her face. “But I don’t have my suit.” “You don’t need a suit to go swimming.” His mouth curled suggestively. “You wish!” Miranda nudged his shoulder. “Like I ever would.” “What? Everyone should go skinny dipping at least once.” Laughing, she rolled her eyes and looked out the window. The car bumped along the gravel road leading to the boat launch. Leafy trees hung over the water, and a few fishermen sat on the banks. Jason pulled the Mazda up to a sign stating the park hours and tilted his head. “Come on.” The two of them headed down to the river’s edge. The trail was well worn from the countless fishermen who’d traveled its banks searching for the best spot. “Check out that water. Isn’t it tempting?” He leaned close, teasing her, tickling her ear with his breath. She stared out at the dark green river, cool and flowing at a lazy pace. Sweat trickled down her forehead. “Fine, I’ll wear my bra and underwear. But don’t look!” His heart beat in his throat at the flash of smooth skin as she pulled her shirt off. Quickly he turned, shucking his shirt, and waded into the water. After a minute, sounds of splashing let him know she was in. They waded out to the center where the water was chest-deep on him, and shoulder-deep on her. She dipped her head back and smiled as the water cooled her head. “Someday Jason, We’re going to see the Caribbean Sea.” “Palm trees are overrated.” “How would you know?” Her eyes were soft and dreamy. “I think it would be amazing. And from there sail through the Bahama Islands, then over to the Giza Pyramids.” ‘Pretty sure you can’t sail through the desert.” “I know that. Maybe a camel.…” “You’re a goof. Want me to launch you?” he asked, lightly splashing water at her. “You think you could lift me?” He gave her a look. “Okay. Just checking.” She waded over to him. Jason reached down to cup her foot and she laughed as it tickled. She dug her fingers into his shoulder, struggling to gain purchase. “Relax.” He grinned. “Jump at the count of three and I’ll fling you.” Miranda jumped at his count and he rocketed her, squealing, into the air. The water sprayed upwards as she hit it. She broke the surface, spluttering, and blindly searched for him through long wet lashes. “Come here you!” Her hands beat the water to splash him. He laughed at her efforts and lunged forward, ready to launch her again. She leaped sideways, breaking into a sidestroke. After a few strokes, she spun back towards him. “Where’d you go?” Miranda hopped in a circle, her toe dotting against the river

bottom to keep her head above water. Suddenly strong arms grasped her waist, lifting her out of the water and causing her to screech at the top of her lungs. “Think you can get away from me, huh?” He laced his fingers with hers and pulled her close. “Don’t you remember the rules? I always win.” She clung to his shoulders in an attempt to keep her head above the water. “Always so bossy,” she whispered, looking up at him with a grin. Their eyes locked together. Despite the coolness of the water, heat rose between them. Her eyes widened at the feel of his heart beating against the palm of her hand, now held flat against his broad chest. And when she held her own breath, she could feel the warmth of his gently caressing her cheek. “Woohoo love birds!” A voice called from the bank. Startled, Miranda’s head jerked in that direction. Two young boys stood on the bank making kissing noises. Miranda bit her lip and blushed. Jason continued to stare at her, but immediately dropped his gaze as she turned back. She rolled her eyes. “What a couple of punks.” Jason loosened his hold, and she slid away. “That’s one way to say it,” he mumbled. His face broke into a half grin. “The nice way, since you’re way nicer than me.” “We have to balance each other. Like peanut butter and jelly.” He wrinkled his brow. “Who’s the peanut butter?” Miranda rolled her eyes. “Fine, cheese and crackers.” “Where are you coming up with these dorky sayings?” “What? Everyone knows them.” “Give me another.” Miranda thought for a minute. “How about Bonnie and Clyde?” “Yeah, I like Bonnie and Clyde.” The shadow of a frown crossed her face. “But they both died at the end.” Her blue eyes caught his. “I don’t ever want to leave you. Promise me we’ll be best friends forever? Okay? Pinky swear.” A lump appeared in his throat. He swallowed as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. His eyes held hers as he looped his pinky around hers. “Pinky swear.”

Chapter Eight

SUMMER PRESENT DAY

T he dental office was in an uproar when Miranda returned from a coffee run,

balancing the cardboard cup holder between her purse and her arm. “Hey lady, here’s your mocha. What in the world is going on?” she asked Claudia, sliding into an office chair. “Girl, you have got to see the new Sales Representative. He is hottt.” Claudia dragged out the “t” sound and winked. Miranda pursed her lips and nodded, suitably impressed. The last guy Claudia had said that about had a six pack to die for. Sadly, he also had the personality of a stuffed animal. “Oh. Lovely,” Miranda murmured. “It’s just too bad you’re taken.” Claudia fluffed her dark hair. “But I, on the other hand, am not.” Miranda narrowed her eyes. The last she’d heard, Claudia was interested in the dance instructor at her salsa class, calling him “Mr. Hot and Spicy” with a lascivious wink. “So what happened to the Spice guy?” Miranda asked. “That guy was spicy in more ways than one. And Claudia don’t share.” “Yuck.” Miranda grimaced. “What a creep.” “Although technically we were only dating.” Claudia pulled out a nail file and drew it across her nails. “Not actually seeing each other.” She blew on her fingertips and held them up to admire their shape. “So many rules.” “Not everyone finds a great guy who wants to commit like yours.” A high-pitched flirty female giggle rose from one of the back rooms. Whoa! Who is that? Doesn’t she know she sounds like a freakin’ horse? After a second, Miranda realized it was the other receptionist, Cindy, who had been hired the week prior. Arching her eyebrow at Claudia, she mouthed, What’s going on in there?” Claudia nodded. “That’s the Sales Representative effect. MmmmHmmm. He’s a fine man, I’m telling you.” Still giggling, Cindy walked around the corner leading a well-dressed man. Miranda scooted her chair back to her desk and booted up the computer. A clank on

the counter made her glance up. An expensive leather briefcase, gilded with silver hardware, blocked her view of the reception area. She lifted her gaze to its owner. The businessman had his back to her, finishing his conversation with Cindy. Broad shoulders, tapered waist. Miranda hurriedly dragged her gaze away. The new receptionist giggled yet again, causing Miranda’s eyes to roll. For crying out loud, girl, be a little subtle. She glanced up. Did she just lick her lip? She looks like she’s ready to ask him to be her baby daddy. The man turned toward her. Miranda’s mouth dropped open. A broad smile broke across his clean shaven face, highlighting two cute dimples. She’d know those dimples anywhere, the only pair she’d ever seen on a grown male. “Dylan?” Her voice came out higher than usual. “Miranda. I knew I’d see you sooner or later.” Claudia’s eyes widened, showing the whites around her irises. Her rubylipsticked mouth curved into a grin; her head swiveling between the two of them like she was at Wimbledon. “Well. Isn’t this delicious?” she said under her breath. “What the heck are you doing here?” Miranda forced her voice to stay neutral. She smiled like he was a patient ready to check in. He leaned his forearm on the counter, his suit stretching tight over muscular arms. “Look at you. As gorgeous as ever.” Miranda felt her cheeks heat. No! Don’t blush! Claudia will never let me live it down. “Oh, well, you look great yourself.” “MmmHmmmm,” Claudia added like a back up singer. “So, you’re obviously not here for an appointment,” Miranda began again, fishing for an explanation. His dimples flashed again. “No. Actually, I’m here for work.” “Wow.” Miranda’s forehead creased. “Really? What’s going on?” Dylan came from old money. She’d never known him to work. “Yeah, my dad suggested it was time for something new. Uncle was hiring, so here I am.” “Your Dad, huh?” She couldn’t help the grin. “Yep. And when the old man says jump, you know I’m going to say how high.” They both shared a small chuckle. Miranda walked around and gave him a hug before explaining their acquaintance to her co-workers. “This is an old friend.” Cindy shot her a bitter look while Claudia’s smile grew even wider. “Old friend, huh?” Claudia hummed another “MmmHmmmm.” Flustered, Miranda glanced back at Dylan. He still had not removed his hand from the small of her back. “Geez, a working man, huh? Last I heard you were taking your boat along the west coast.” “I did that for awhile. It was fun.” He laughed and ran his hand through his blonde hair. “Awesome actually but it was time for a change of scenery.” “So, why did your dad want you to do this?” Then, in a lower tone: “It’s not like

you need the money.” He shrugged. “It’s not a bad job. After all, it brought me back to you.” Claudia stared at her like a cat watching a mouse. Not knowing what else to do, Miranda half-laughed and played with her earlobe. “So, I hear us Reps get to take you guys out to lunch. You know, schmooze you a bit. Anyone up for it?” “Me!” Cindy squealed. “Free food, and a show? Oh, I’m all about that.” Claudia answered. Miranda gave a long blink at the word show. That was just great. She could already picture the interrogation Claudia was planning to execute as soon as Dylan left. Suddenly, she realized everyone was waiting for her answer. She cleared her throat. “Sure. Sounds like fun.” “Maybe we can catch up a bit.” Dylan’s hazel eyes watched her steadily. “You’ll have to share all your pirate adventures.” Miranda smiled as she said it, and grabbed her sweater off the back of her chair. “Arrrrr.” He hobbled towards her with his finger curved into a hook. “Nice. Two minutes with her and already you’re a cheese ball,” Claudia said. Dylan laughed. “All right, let's go.” It was cloudy and cool as they walked toward the Olive Garden, the smell of breadsticks like an invisible lasso pulling them along. A flash of movement behind the building caught Miranda’s attention. With a clatter of noise, a teenage boy rifled through a dumpster outside a Chinese restaurant, eventually pulling out a stained paper to-go carton. His face glowed with a simple grin as he tucked the container into his olive-colored jacket and jogged up the street. “You see that?” Claudia asked. “Where?” Dylan turned around and looked, eyebrows raised. “Over there.” Miranda frowned as she pointed. “That poor kid.” “I’ve seen him before,” Claudia continued, watching after the running boy. “Homeless, I think. Someone’s got to do something about him.” Miranda nodded somberly, and they continued to the Olive Garden. The host greeted them and led them to a round table sitting smack in the center of the crowded room. Miranda eyed the booths by the windows longingly, feeling exposed. Dylan pulled out a chair for Miranda. “Oh, thank you.” Carefully she sat, allowing him to push the chair in. His hand brushed her arm with the barest touch. The masculine scent of his cologne—Dior Sauvage—filled the air as he chose the chair next to her. Warning flags. Suddenly, she wanted Cindy to bat her eyes, lick her lips or do whatever she had to do to catch Dylan’s attention. “So, how do you like repping out this way?” Claudia asked. “It’s good. I’ve been doing well. The dental industry is booming in the Pacific

Northwest.” “Job security. I like it.” Claudia nodded. “More people are becoming dentists than doctors due to the cost of malpractice insurance,” he added, opening his menu. They quietly perused the items. The waiter returned with their drinks and took their order. Dylan smiled when Miranda asked for angel hair pasta. “You’ve always loved that.” Miranda caught Claudia staring at her from across the table. Her foot itched to kick Dylan under the table, but she resisted out of fear of his reaction. “Isn’t that interesting? How well did you two know each other before?” Claudia asked, her head tilted to one side. “Mmm, not well,” Miranda began. Dylan snorted and attempted to cover with a drink from his soda. “Hello, handsome,” Cindy whispered as she looked toward the entrance. “And, here comes trouble.” Claudia shot a glance at Miranda. Jason strode across the restaurant lobby, glaring, his brows drawn together in a scowl. “That’s my boyfriend,” Miranda said, fidgeting in her seat, uncertain if she should stand to meet him. Dylan adjusted the cuffs on his jacket. “He should join us. I’d love to meet the guy who finally won your heart.” He threw Miranda a wink. “Should be fun.” Miranda’s heart pounded. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that kind of fun. “Someone forgot to invite me to the party.” Jason’s grin was sardonic as he walked up. He wore his work coveralls unbuttoned to his waist, revealing a torn Metallica t-shirt. Grease smeared along the front of one of his forearms. His face was stony as he threw a cursory look at Miranda. “I came by your work to surprise you. Your boss told me you were here.” Jason reached out to hug Miranda, and she hesitated at the sight of the grease. His unshaven face showed confusion, then quickly went blank. He gave her a pat on the back. “I’m sorry, hun,” she whispered. “This stupid sweater is so hard to clean.” She plucked at the sleeve of her cashmere baby-pink sweater. Jason acknowledged it with a flick of his eyebrow before nodding, his eyes loaded with hurt. “Please.” Dylan stood. “Take a seat.” The dark threat in Jason’s eyes was deadly. “Naw, I don’t want to interrupt. Just wanted to see my girl.” “Yeah, I found her. Like I told you I would.” Dylan tilted his chin at Jason and Jason glared back at him, his jaw clenched. The group shifted in their seats as the air electrified around them. “Can somebody say testosterone?” Claudia’s voice rose with a lilt on the last syllable. “C’mon Jason. You’re here now. Sit with us,” Miranda said. “We can pull up

another chair.” Jason scrutinized the seating arrangement, before glancing back with a ghost of a smile, the corner of his mouth lifting almost imperceptibly. “Nah. I’ll see you tonight when you get home.” Raising his hand, he barely waved and turned to leave before she could respond. Miranda watched him stalk off, momentarily stunned. Dylan flipped a napkin across his lap, his face plastered with a sarcastic smirk. “He still doesn’t seem to like me much.” Miranda scrambled for her glass and took a couple gulps of water. Why did Jason look at me that way? This is a nightmare. Dylan’s comment finally sunk in and she cast him a worried glance. “What do you mean, he doesn’t like you?” “Your boyfriend’s been a bit unfriendly both times I’ve seen him.” Miranda felt a jab of shock. “You’ve met him before?” “I drove to your place last week, when I heard you lived in the area. You know, to catch up on old times.” “Why didn’t you mention this sooner?” Dylan shrugged. “Must have slipped my mind. Kind of like it slipped his. Then I saw you today at the office, and it was all water under the bridge.” Their food arrived in a big fanfare of waiters brandishing Parmesan cheese graters and pepper mills over their plates. Miranda’s stomach rolled at the scent of the marina sauce, no longer hungry. She leaned in close after Dylan was served and whispered, “Who did you tell him you were?” Both Claudia and Cindy changed their positions so they could hear. Catching their movement, Miranda cracked out, “Guys?” “Well, what do you expect? This is the most exciting thing that’s happened all week,” Claudia answered, taking a bite of her salmon. “It’s not exciting. It’s no big deal,” Miranda murmured. She shook out her napkin and laid it over her lap. Her thoughts tumbled in a whirlwind as she stared morosely at her plate. “Don’t worry.” Dylan winked at her. “I just told him we used to date.” “Dylan!” Miranda shrieked, and then blushed as the other patrons attention at her outburst. Lowering her voice, she protested. “That’s not true,” And swatted him with her napkin. “No?” His eyes twinkled as he stabbed a scallop and brought it to his mouth. “No! We never dated.” She closed her eyes at the memory of Jason’s piercing glare. How am I ever going to explain this to him? Claudia leaned back in her chair with a big smile, her fingers interlaced behind her head. “Don’t stop now. This suddenly just got a whole lot more interesting.” “It’s nothing. I have no idea what he’s talking about.” Miranda grabbed a bread stick and pulled it in pieces, jamming one of them in her mouth. Her mouth felt as dry as chalk dust. Just keep chewing. “Wow, really?” Dylan said and laid a hand over his heart. “I’m kind of hurt.” “I’m about to throw this bread stick at you.”

He laughed. “I thought it was quite meaningful. Our time together, I mean.” “Ohhoooo.” Claudia smirked and leaned forward on the table with her chin cupped in her hand. “Tell me more.” Miranda drew her mouth into a thin line. “Don’t listen to him. He’s just giving me a hard time.” “All those walks in the park.…” Dylan continued. “You were walking me home from work!” “Those late nights in your apartment.” Miranda blushed furiously. “It was storming outside. I felt guilty sending you out into it.” Dylan winked at her. “Like I said, good times.” “Seems like you two have a lot more catching up to do.” Claudia waved at the passing server. “Can I get a to-go box?” Then leveling her gaze at Miranda, “Cindy and I will be moseying our way back to the office so you can figure this out.” She wagged her finger at Miranda, “But, be careful, girl. Jason didn’t seem too pleased.” “Claudia, Cindy, you don’t have to go.” Miranda protested as they both gathered their food. Dylan held out his card to the server. “Just put their meals on my tab,” he said. “Wait! No!” Miranda frantically dug through her purse for her wallet. The waiter had already left. “Dylan, what the heck are you doing?” She gave a deep exhale, feeling completely exasperated. “Just for old times’ sake. Besides, I’m schmoozing you, remember?” “The only old times we had were as friends.” He arched an eyebrow at her and lifted the corner of his lip suggestively. She blushed and stared down at her hands. …there was that one time.

Chapter Nine

SUMMER

J ason’s truck was parked by the barn when she pulled into the driveway. The sun

was setting, splashing the house’s shadow across the side of the barn. Miranda turned off the ignition and rubbed her temples for a second as she eyed the house through the windshield. How did we get here? She replayed the look Jason had given her just before he’d stalked out of the restaurant. As soon as she’d returned to the office, she’d texted him. He hadn’t answered or even read her texts as far as she could tell. The fact he’d already met Dylan and kept it a secret bothered her. It bothered her equally as much that he’d assumed she was keeping a secret from him. Miranda rubbed the back of her neck as she approached the front door. She took a deep breath to fortify herself and walked inside, laying her purse on the counter. Jason sat at the far end of the kitchen table. He was hunched over his laptop, refusing to look up at her. “Hi,” she said softly. He typed studiously and continued to ignore her. She hesitated a moment, stepped closer, and reached for his arm. Jason pulled away before her touch could connect, and her hand dropped to her side like a wilted flower. “Want to talk?” she asked. “About what?” His voice was low and monotone. “You seemed upset today. At the restaurant.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would I be upset?” He shut the laptop lid more firmly than necessary. “You having lunch? No big deal. Right?” “Okay—” “I mean, after all, what guy wouldn’t want to walk in and see his girlfriend laughing with an old boyfriend?” She shook her head in protest. “It wasn’t like that.” Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Oh yeah? His hand was resting on the back of your chair.” His hand had been on my chair? Miranda hadn’t noticed. Her face filled with heat—half embarrassed, half irritated. “I heard you two had already met.” She straightened her shoulders, watching him. “He said he’d shown up here a few days ago.”

Jason stared at her, his jaw clenching. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He tilted his head back with a look of incredulousness. “Wow. So, I’m the bad guy? Whatever. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he was so important to you. “ He scoffed. “Especially since you’ve never mentioned his name before.” Miranda briefly closed her eyes. “There was nothing to mention. He’s someone I met when I lived in Seattle. It was no big deal.” “No big deal, huh? That’s not how he described it.” “Why do I feel like I’m caught between two dogs having a peeing contest?” Hurt flashed across his face. “Peeing contest, huh? Then why do you care that I didn’t let you know he came by?” “I care because you’re acting so weird about it right now.” He shoved his chair back and stood. “Where are you going?” “Out to the porch. I need some fresh air.” “But we’re talking.” He exhaled deeply. “So follow me.” Jason walked out the back door and dropped heavily into the swing causing the springs to protest. Miranda followed, her thoughts racing to make sense of his reaction. She settled on the cushion next to him and pulled her feet up under her. “Jason, I’m not your enemy.” “I know that.” “Okay. I wanted to remind you because it feels like you’re getting defensive.” “So, tell me about Dylan. Did you date him?” Slowly, he rocked the swing. “I guess I should have told you. I never expected to see him again, and you know how I wanted to forget everything about Seattle. Yeah, he’s an old friend. I guess you could say we dated.” Her blue eyes caught Jason’s. “Briefly. He wasn’t my type.” “I find it hard to believe that someone you describe as a friend, who’s also rich and good looking, wasn’t your type. What is he? A secret axe murder? Does inappropriate things with.…?” Miranda groaned. “He’s just wasn’t, okay? I don’t like guys who think money is the answer to everything. There’s more to life than that.” “That’s good, since I don’t have a trust fund.” “You don’t have the snobby attitude either.” “Yeah, he did seem like a pretentious jerkwad.” Miranda laughed. “He can be.” Jason slid a bit closer to her. “Guys like me don’t get to have girls like you.” She climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, his soft hair tickling her skin. “I could say the same thing about a girl like me. You’re awesome, and I love you.” He rested his forehead in the warm crook of her neck. “I love you too. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Jason!” She pushed his head back. “Why are you talking crazy like this? You aren’t ever going to lose me. I’m sticking to you like a burr on a dog’s butt.” He rolled his eyes and snorted. “Really? That’s your best romantic analogy?” Miranda shrugged. “Hey, I can’t have it all. Too much perfection and, boom, the earth tilts off its axis.” “This is the romantic language I speak.” He tipped her head against his arm and settled his lips firmly on hers. His kisses became more insistent as his hand ran down the length of her back and cupped her hip. His lips trailed along her neck and back up to her ear. “I think I need more language lessons,” she whispered and directed him back to her mouth. The front door slammed. “Honey! I’m home!” Cassie yelled as she clomped though the living room. The sliding glass door opened and she peeked out. Jason pulled away from the embrace with a groan. “Hi, Cassie.” “Hi yourself.” She wriggled into the spot that Miranda had vacated and cuddled against her sister’s shoulder. “Aww, isn’t this cozy?” Jason leaned forward to see for himself that Cassie was there to stay, before flopping his head back. “Don’t you want to go inside and relax, maybe watch some TV?” Miranda suggested. “Geez. Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me.” Cassie poked out her bottom lip. Miranda nudged her with her toe. “You could go order pizza delivery. Use my credit card.” “Fair enough.” Cassie jumped up. “My purse is on the counter.” Cassie smirked. “Puh-lease, I have that number memorized.” She strolled inside, shutting the door behind her. Five seconds later they heard her give a squeal. She flung open the door. “Lady GaGa and Taylor Kinney just got engaged!” Jason made a fake shocked face. “Cassie and her celebrity gossip sites.” Miranda smiled. “Shut up! I’m so excited! Can you imagine the pretty babies they’re going to make?” She grinned again before slamming the door. “Remember when she was little and we could give her a dose of Benadryl to get her to go to sleep?” “Jason! Shut up. We did not.” Miranda laughed and snuggled into his t-shirt, breathing in a mixture of fabric softener and grease. “No? Maybe it was just me.” His green eyes twinkled at her as he broke into a grin. “You’re so weird.” “Ahh, but I’m comfortable with my weirdness. And at least I don’t have an old man laugh.” He moved his hand until it rested lightly on her waist.

Miranda tensed, suddenly feeling trapped in a precarious position. “Jason, don’t do it.” “What?” His voice rose innocently, tapping his finger against her rib. “Jason! Don’t you do that! I’ll—” “You’ll what?” He took the bait and ran his fingers up and down her side. Laughter burst out of her and she snorted. “Yeah, whatcha going to do, huh?” He found a particularly ticklish spot. “Who’s the boss?” “I swear I’ll bake you cookies again!” Jason released her and propped her back up into a sitting position. “Oh, it’s on.” Miranda said, springing away from him. “I know where you sleep at night.” “I’m sorry,” he whispered sexily. “Forgive me?” Her heart thumped as the sound of his voice zinged through her. “Dang, you’re cute. It’s not even fair.” Her fingers trailed down the side of his face. “Show me how sorry you are.” “Gladly.” With a grin, he pulled her back onto his lap. Cassie slid the door open. “Sorry for bugging you guys again.” She glanced at Miranda wrapped in Jason’s arms. “Yuck. You have no idea how sorry I am. Anyway, your phone is going off like crazy, and I’m pretty sure you’ve gotten like a thousand texts.” “What?” Miranda’s forehead creased. “Bring it here.” “Umm.” Cassie darted a look at Jason. “Maybe you should come here.” Why? she mouthed. Dylan? Her sister’s eyes grew wide and she nodded. “Just bring it here. It’s fine.” Cassie handed her the cell phone, before returning inside. Miranda opened the first text. Jason tensed next to her. “Don’t worry.” She flashed a smile at him and patted his knee. “He adopted a cat from the shelter.” Her mouth dropped open. “I guess he talked Dr. Denton into keeping him at the dental office!” She showed him the picture of the long-haired calico cat. Jason gave a small nod and raised his eyebrows. “Neat,” he deadpanned. “So freaking cute,” she squealed, scrolling through more pictures. “Cassie, come see! We have an office cat!” Miranda sprung up from his lap and whipped through the door. Jason scratched his chin and sighed. Just that fast and she was gone. Out in the dark lake water, the two swans paddled together. There’d been a pair of swans in that lake for as long as he could remember. The first time Miranda had seen them her face flushed with excitement. Her sixteen-year-old voice rang in his head, “Did you know swans partner for life? You’re my swan, Jason.” Leaning back, he stared at the stars and rubbed his chest, trying to rid himself of the uneasy feeling his life

was about to fly apart.

Chapter Ten

SUMMER

“C ome on, ol’boy,” Jason called. Archer jumped out of the truck and led the way

to the river, his tail wagging happily. Jason followed, his tackle box bumping against his leg as he meandered down the worn path. Dark thunderheads brooded across the horizon, and the temperature quickly dropped. He was glad he’d worn his flannel shirt. Archer took off through the bushes, excited and sniffing at the scent trail of some random animal. Jason cast the fishing line into the river and settled back against a driftwood log. The nylon silk floated lazily on top of the water before disappearing into its green depths. He cracked his neck, releasing tension, then slowly wound the line until it was taut. With a deep sigh, he pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes. He was alone in his getaway place to try and figure things out. His emotions trembled inside of him. He heaved another breath and licked his lip. Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Miranda had come home late from work one night last week. When she had walked through the door, he’d seen the guilt written all over her face. After patiently working it out from her, it turned out there’d been another Olive Garden meal. She’d couched it as a ‘company meeting’. “Everyone was there,” she hedged. “You mean Dylan?” Jason accused. “Yes, him too. Don’t be mad at me, Jason.” Her eyes filled with worry as she looked at him. “I’m not mad.” His insides twisted and rolled. “Just can’t help but wonder how long it takes to sell an X-ray machine. Kind of suspicious.” She sniffed, and rummaged in her purse for a tissue. “What are you saying?” “I’m saying he’s here for you.” She shook her head in denial. “He’s always in Dr. Denton’s office. They’re updating all of our equipment.” Jason unlaced his work boots and yanked them off, taking a moment to gather his thoughts together. “Why are you so afraid to tell me then?” he asked finally. “You’ve been scaring me lately. I feel like you’re pulling away from me.”

Miranda bit her thumb nail as she studied him. “Is this over the cat, somehow?” His eyes softened as he looked at her. “No, hun. This isn’t over the office cat.” “So there is something going on then.” Jason didn’t answer, instead he shoved a tortilla chip into his mouth. “I made dinner.” He jabbed his thumb at the platters of taco fixings on the counter. “Thanks. Maybe later.” “You’re losing weight,” he mentioned. “It’s nothing. I think it’s all the hikes I’ve been doing lately.” She glanced up hesitantly. “How’s your work going?” “Great. Jumping through hoops so I don’t get laid off. The garage owner’s going through a divorce, so we’ve all been affected,” he said with a wry grin. She wandered over to the couch and sat, propping her feet on the arm. “I guess it would help if I knew you weren’t going to see that jerkwad again,” he mumbled. “I keep telling you I can’t help seeing him.” “Yeah, but you’re acting so guilty about it. That’s why I’m worried.” “Exactly what are you worried about?” “He’s rich. He’s got a nice car. I can see the attraction.” “He’s got nothing I want.” Miranda rolled her eyes. “And we’ve already been over this. A few times. It’s getting Real. Old.” “Yeah, it is.” Jason’s eyes hardened. “It is getting old, Miranda. I need a commitment. I don’t want you to see him anymore.” “What are you talking about? We are committed. You’re the one freaking out over a work friend.” ““Yeah, right. Friends!” He air quoted the word friends and darted his eyes away from her. Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “What’s that supposed to mean, Jason?” His nostrils flared. “I just find it highly suspect that this guy you used to date is suddenly your best friend at work.” Miranda walked over and pointed at his chest. “You. Are. My best friend. Act like it.”

They hadn’t talked any more that night, each of them stalking off to their separate corners to lick their wounds. The last week had been rocky. Jason could feel a distance growing between them day by day. And a big part of it was that he’d convinced himself that Dylan was a better match for Miranda. It had been haunting him all week. He thought about Dylan. That scumbag. But the kid had it together. Unlike Jason, who only had a GED, Dylan had a college education. And a trust fund. Jason couldn’t shake the fact that the moment Miranda had the tiniest bit of

freedom, she’d hightailed it to Seattle. There, she’d forged a life with Dylan, a life she’d only abandoned because of her sister’s car accident. If Jason hadn’t stepped in then and practically forced her to be with him, chances were that she’d have returned to Seattle and her old relationship. Just like the football player before him, Dylan was the type Miranda was impressed by. Someone flashy and exciting. A man who could sweep her off her feet with expensive cars and trips to foreign countries. What could he offer Miranda? Free brake jobs for life? Always struggling to make ends meet? Cheap restaurants instead of exotic vacations? Maybe I could super-size her fries. His mouth turned up in a sarcastic grin. Archer wandered back and lay down next to him. “You’re a good dog, ol'boy.” Sighing, he tugged on the fishing pole, moving the hook through the water. Still no bites. He’d taken care of Miranda from the moment they’d met. Hadn’t he always done what he thought was best for her? Even when she kicked and screamed, he stood his ground if he believed he was putting her first. Jason’s gaze followed the shadows of the trees rippling on the water. What was best for her now?

Chapter Eleven

SUMMER

J ason parked his rattling old truck in front of the bar and climbed out. He beat his

hands over his front pockets searching for his wallet, before diving back into the cab and retrieving it from the cup holder. The Old Third Tavern flashed its red neon light. The “h” fluorescent tube flickered off, and he gave a wry grin at the half-lit word. The tavern was almost empty at this time of night, but rapidly filling as the workday ended. When Jason entered, his friend, Doug, was already seated at the bar. He meandered over, ignoring the hot stares from a couple of women in a back corner booth. “Hey,” Jason said, sliding onto the worn bar stool. He hung his head and ran his fingers through his hair, dirty from a long day at the garage. Doug nudged over one of the two bottles sitting in front of him. “You look beat.” “Thanks.” Jason acknowledged the beer. “Oh man. My life’s gone to hell.” “So, what’s going on?” Jason rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Miranda.” Doug took a swig of his beer and nodded to the bartender bringing over a bowl of peanuts. “I hear ya. My old lady and I got into it last night. What’s going on with you guys?” Jason shook his head. “It’s worse than that. I’m taking a break.” “You’re kidding?” The silence grew between them as Doug tried to digest his words. “Man, are you sure? I mean, give it some time. Things’ll settle down.” “It’s not that. It’s this new guy she works with. She has a history with him.” “Well, she sure has a history with you,” Doug pointed out. Jason nodded as he glanced down, his forehead creasing. Doug glanced at him sideways. “You think she’s into him?” “I don’t think she will be, as long as I’m around. That’s why I’m taking off.” “What?” Doug banged the bottle on the bar and blasted him with an incredulous stare. “You’re just giving her up? That doesn’t sound like the Jason I know.” “You don’t get it. It’s like I’m hanging on to her like she’s my security blanket. Dragging her down. It’s selfish.” Doug frowned and fiddled with a peanut. He cracked the shell before throwing it

back in the bowl. “How is leaving a good thing?” Jason spun his beer around on the coaster. “It probably won’t be at first. Miranda’s going to be hurt. And pissed. But in the end, Dylan’s the better man for her. She deserves to be taken care of. He’s got the money to do that.” Doug took a sip from the bottle and replied, “She seems like she’s doing all right to me.” “Yeah, well she deserves better than all right. The thing is, ever since we were kids she always talked about how she wanted to travel the world. Even now, she carries this crazy list of top places she has to visit in the state. This is her dream. I’m never going to be able to give her what she wants. And I know her. She won’t leave me as long as I’m around. I’ve got to do this for her.” Shaking his head, Doug answered, “You might be making a big mistake.” “Hey, I don’t need to hear that right now. I’m making the best decision I can. I think this is the right choice for her.” “And what about you?” Jason thought about it. “I’m done with women. Maybe I was made to be a bachelor. I’m gonna take my truck out, my dog, go hiking. The whole ‘be one with nature’ crap.” “I don’t know.” Doug shook his head. “If I were you—” “I don’t want to hear it.” Jason frowned and raised his hand. “My mind’s made up.” His friend studied him and slowly nodded. “Well, like they say, there’s more fish in the sea. You’ll figure it out.” “Yeah. I’m gonna get going. I’ve got a few loose ends to tie up,” Jason said, standing. Doug offered him his hand. “See you around, buddy. You need anything, give me a call.” “Yeah, I’ll be fine. But thanks.” He shook Doug’s hand and threaded his way back through the crowd to the door. Opening it, he surprised a young couple on their way in. “Oh sorry,” the girl giggled and grabbed the guy’s hand. Their aura of happiness hit him like a gut punch. Jason tipped his head in their direction as he sidestepped around them and hurried to his truck. His heart felt heavy with dread. There was still the conversation with Miranda ahead.

Jason arrived home an hour before Miranda. For the next thirty minutes he packed his things and loaded the truck, Archer following back and forth at his heels. When he finished, Jason took a good long look at his dog. Archer gave a small whimper as Jason sat on the floor and scooted closer. “You’re going to stay here, ol’ buddy,” he said, stroking Archer’s neck. “You know why, don’t you? I need you to keep an eye on her. On Cassie, too.” Archer rested his chin on Jason’s shoulder.

A lump grew in his throat. Jason stood and moved into the kitchen feeling like he’d been beaten with a 2x4. There was an advertisement on the counter and he lifted it to read. “Leavenworth, Come Explore!” He shook his head sadly, wondering where this fell on the list of one hundred things Miranda was working through. He put the kettle on and set out Miranda’s favorite blue mug and box of tea. When the water finished boiling, he filled the cup to brew. It wasn’t much, but maybe it would help. At the sound of her car rumbling down the driveway, Jason grabbed the side of the counter to steady himself. His stomach tightened. “She’s never going to believe me,” he whispered. The door flew open and Miranda came bustling in, her arms loaded with grocery bags. “Hi hun! I’m sorry I’m late. I figured you’d want to eat tonight so I stopped at the store.…” Her words trailed off as she caught sight of his face. “What’s wrong?” Jason rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. “Babe—” Miranda dropped the bags on the counter and sank down onto a stool, her eyes staring wide…frightened. “This isn’t easy. I lo—I care about you so much. But I’ve been doing some thinking.” He sat across from her and reached for her hand before second-guessing the action. Instead, he nudged the cup of tea towards her. “Here, I made you this.” Jason took a deep breath and continued. “We’ve known each other a long time. And you are, and always have been, my best friend. But somewhere along the way the lines of our friendship blurred.” His voice cracked. “Honestly, I didn’t give you much of a choice when you came home last year after your sister’s accident.” She slumped over like a deflated balloon as she rested her forehead on her hand. “But the truth is, I think I let my needs get ahead of yours. This isn’t the life you were meant to have. I’m leaving.” Glancing up, her face paled at his words. “Leaving? You’re just going to leave me?” She paused for a beat then said, “Again?” “I’m doing what I think is best.” “Best? We’ve been together since I was fifteen…fifteen, Jason! Why are you doing this to us? You’ve always been more than good enough for me.” “Miranda, we were just kids. Back then, I thought I had it together, and faked it good enough so that you thought that way, too. But look at me now. I can’t take care of you. I’ve got nothing to give you.” He clenched his fist to control his emotions. “You’ve grown past me.” “That’s not true.…” She rubbed her temple. “Jason, I don’t need anyone to take care of me. It’s supposed to be a partnership. Where we both take care of each other.” “I don’t have anything to offer you, and I can’t handle that.” He refused to make eye contact with her. “I need to get out of here and take some time for myself. Figure stuff out. I can’t stay here when I feel like you would be better off without me. You need this time too. You know, date whoever you want.”

She covered her face as grief twisted through. “Please don’t do this. I need you with me.” He called Archer over and sat back on his heels rubbing the dog’s neck, not knowing how he would ever find the strength to walk out the door. Tears rolled down her face. She fell to her knees and grabbed his hand in one last desperate plea. “Please don’t leave me. We can make this work.” He looked at her, this woman he loved more than life, and he knew exactly what he had to do.

Chapter Twelve

SUMMER

J ason slowly trudged through the woods. The weather was changing, not quite

fall, but the trees were beginning to drop their leaves. The solitude of the forest was doing a number on his mind, as the memory of him leaving the day before replayed like a loop of misery. Miranda had hidden her misery behind her hands. “Please don’t do this, Jason. I love you.” The quick glimpse he’d seen before she’d covered her face had broken his heart. Every fiber in him had wanted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her. Instead, Jason had tucked his hands in his pockets and walked to the door. “I’m sorry, Miranda. It’s for the best. Don’t worry. You’re going to be okay.” Jason had driven through the night. Just as the sun broke over the horizon, he steered his truck onto the side of a logging road. He’d left it parked there, hidden by bushes, figuring it would be safe for a few days. He needed to get out and hike for a bit. Hopefully it would clear his head. From the logging road, Jason followed the same railroad tracks that had led the three of them out of the wilderness as teenagers all those years before. They’d been malnourished, dressed in scraps of clothes, and heading to the hope of civilization. This time he wanted to go back, submerge himself, even get lost. It felt safe in the woods. Welcoming. It was a place where he knew what he was doing. Jason’s hand unconsciously reached down for the dog who would normally be by his side. His fingers twitched and he shook his head at the thought of another loss. But Archer was better off in his home with Cassie and Miranda. It was four hours before Jason finally reached the clearing. The sun was brilliant in the clear blue sky, reminding him of a similar day eight years earlier. The wind rustled through the field in much the same way as it had the first time he’d seen Miranda. She’d popped out of the tall grass from where she’d been lying, her face streaked with tears. Boy, she’d sure had some gumption, though, coming after him like a wildcat when she thought her sister was in danger. The two girls had been starving when he’d discovered them. He’d hardly been in better shape himself. Today, however, with a heavy backpack loaded with food and essentials, things would be different.

Sitting at the far end of the field was an abandoned shack, half of its shingles missing from the wind. The building’s rough exterior had aged to a grey-white since the last time Jason had seen it. The front stoop was collapsed on one side, and the cabin’s single door hung ajar. Nearby was an old chopping block marred with bite marks from an axe. Jason cautiously tried his weight on the stoop. The wood creaked under his foot but held firm. He pushed the door, opening it further, dragging it hard against a loose floorboard. He blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the dark room. Sunlight streamed through the unchinked cracks in the walls. Memories of the young family he’d met there flooded his mind. I wonder where Sky and Echo are now? And their baby? In the corner stood an old bedstead and a crib. The crib had been handmade from the trees out back with a peace symbol carved into its headboard. He walked over to the mattress and touched it; a simple fabric sack filled with straw. The room was empty with the exception of a small table and a couple of stools. The far wall was lined with shelves. He examined them. Nothing but spider webs and a few dusty cans lay there. Clouds covered the sun, and the interior became shrouded in deep shadows. Jason suppressed a shudder and hurried back outside. To the left of the shack the land was ruled by an overgrown garden. From where he stood, a handful of pumpkins could be seen rotting on their vines. He wandered behind the house. Saplings he’d remembered had grown to full size. A stab of pain throbbed behind his eye. Jason crouched to rub his temple as weariness engulfed him. What? You thought the hippies would still be living here raising a couple more rugrats? Maybe a horse and some goats? A regular petting zoo? This place was nothing but dead dreams. I’ve got to get out of here. After a moment, his headache subsided. Without looking back, Jason headed in the direction of the river. He needed to be somewhere with the sounds and signs of life. Jason strode into the trees, remembering the path like it was yesterday. He closed his eyes and pictured Miranda’s slender form weaving through the grass, encouraging her sister to track down the blackberries up ahead. Jason laughed at how she’d wrinkled her nose at a leaf she found in her hair. Even then, starving and dirty, she’d been beautiful. She’d been his angel. Jason studied his hands, calloused, grease permanently inked in the creases. Laborer’s hands. Hands that made little money and needed to be thoroughly washed before they would be clean enough to touch another person. Miranda had always been way out of his league. I was an idiot to go after her. This would have never happened if I’d stayed in my lane. The path began to descend, leading him down to the bank of the river. The water burbled as it flowed over the rocks. He dropped his backpack. He’d pitch the tent

there for the night. His phone buzzed. Miranda. He glanced at it before powering it off. Didn’t she know he was trying to give her a clean break? She was young; she didn’t even know what she wanted or deserved yet. She didn’t know her worth. She had settled for him. Her whole life had been about taking care of her sister or trying to survive. Or taking care of him. The memory of her laughing face as she lay back in his arms made his heart shatter. He shook it off. Sometimes he thought he’d never be free of his demons. He’d been dealing with the same stuff his entire life, and it wasn’t getting any easier. He was sick of feeling broken. It’s weird though. I never felt broken with Miranda, only accepted by her. Like I could be myself. Running his fingers through his hair, Jason sighed. Probably just a way to convince himself that everything was going to be okay. He needed to find someone broken like him. Someone on his level, that he couldn’t wreck any more then they already were. Jason pulled a silver flask from his backpack. He’d planned to wait for a drink until after the tent was set up. But to the hell with it. He needed a shot now. A bird darted overhead, startled by his presence as he settled on the grassy bank under a maple. He remembered swimming in this very bend of the river as a teenager with Miranda and Cassie. It had felt like a hundred degrees that day, and the girls had been horrified when he’d stripped off his clothes and dove into the water. His whiskered cheek flexed into a small grin, and he uncorked the flask. Tipping it up, he took a long gulp. Grimacing a bit at the burn, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Then he wiped his eyes.

Chapter Thirteen

AUTUMN

A hush fell over the dental office as the last patient walked out the door. Miranda

reached into her drawer for Tylenol and swallowed one with a swig of cold coffee. “How you doing, lady?” Claudia asked, her voice laced with concern. “Mmmm,” Miranda answered in a monotone. It had been nearly six weeks since Jason left. She couldn’t decide if it was harder this time, or the first time he’d gone. “Life pretty much sucks,” she mumbled. “I hear you. My Lawrence left too.” Miranda wondered how the end of Claudia’s two-week fling could possibly compare with what she was going through. But then again, a couple of weeks for Claudia was practically engaged. “What happened?” “He had commitment issues,” Claudia continued. She ruffled the pile of the papers in front of her. “Yeah?” “He was more committed to the bar than to me.” Claudia gave a long blink of her thickly-mascaraed eyes. “Yikes. I can understand why you cut him loose then.” “That’s right. Plenty more men where he came from.” Claudia pulled her keys from her purse and patted Miranda’s arm. “More for you too, hun. You going to be okay locking up?” Miranda nodded and frowned at the computer. She still had a patient’s insurance information to process before she could leave. “Okay, then. Have a good night.” Claudia tottered out the door on her six-inch heels and locked it behind her. Miranda blearily stared at the screen. Taped to the side of the monitor was a picture of the Olympic Peninsula. She touched it with her finger. Someday, I’m going there. She sighed. Maybe when she found a new hiking partner. Rubbing her eyes, she squinted at the site again. Why does this freaking form keep bouncing back saying it was incomplete. What am I missing? Her cell phone rang. Absent-mindedly, she retrieved it from the black hole of her purse, buried among the gum wrappers, cough drops, snacks, and who knew what else. “Hello?”

“Hey, Miranda.” Cassie’s voice sounded cheerful. “What’s up?” “Just letting you know I’ve decided to stay at Jenny’s tonight. We might whoop it up a bit.” Miranda frowned and twisted a piece of hair around her finger. “Don’t be whooping it too much.” “Seriously? I’m just teasing. I can always depend on you being a stick in the mud. We’ll probably just watch Bridget Jones’s Diary and eat tubs of Ben and Jerry’s. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Okay, have fun.” Miranda clicked off the phone with a hint of a smile. It was good to hear her sister happy and hanging out with friends again. She turned back to the computer screen and reread the form, line by line. Ahh, there it is. A mistyped social security number. Rolling her eyes, she corrected the digit and pressed send. The little wheel whirled to show the website was thinking about it, then it changed to the next screen. Success! With a relieved exhale, Miranda shut down the computer. She shoved her phone into her pocket and took one last glance around the office, before relocking the front door. Her feet hurt like the dickens as she limped towards her car. On top of a long day of running around, she’d stupidly worn brand new boots that hadn’t been broken in yet. Wow, what a day. Feeling like an old lady, she collapsed into the driver’s seat. She popped off her boots, one after the other, and flexed her toes. “I’m outta here,” she said, then stared vacantly at the ceiling at the sound of her voice. “You really have to quit talking to yourself.” She stuck the key in the ignition and turned it. Nothing. What the? She turned it again. Still nothing. “No! Not today!” She glanced at the steering wheel and studied the gauges, then reached over to try out her headlights. They’d been left on. “Oh. my. freaking—” she gaped. “No way I did that.” She flipped the lights off, as if that would help, and tried the ignition again. Nope. She yanked out her phone to call Jason. … Then she remembered. Her lips trembled. The grief of losing him fell like a leaden blanket, and she covered her face with her hands as hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Why does this always happen? How did everything fall apart like this She took a couple deep shuddering breaths to try and calm down. “Be a good time to still have Triple A,” she muttered. She’d let that expire when she came back home from Seattle last year. Don’t panic. I’ll figure this out. She could call Cassie. But it was already dark and, even if she didn’t want to

admit it, Miranda was scared to death at the thought of her sister driving at night. Besides, Jenny’s house was over an hour away. Desperately, she scrolled through the phone’s contacts. Maybe Claudia? Yes! She could call her co-worker. A sharp tap on the window caused her to jump nearly out of her skin. She spun around, her face stiff with fear. It was Dylan. Miranda wiped at her running mascara and rolled down the window. “Everything okay?” He crouched down, his hazel eyes crinkled with concern. “You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here?” She half-laughed, her face warming with embarrassment at being caught so upset. “I’m a dork. Left my lights on this morning.” “I was hoping to catch you before you left.” He frowned. “What’s going on? Dead battery?” “Yeah, I think so. Can you give my car a jump?” Her voice rose with hope. Dylan wiped his hands on his pants as though they were dirty. “Believe it or not, I don’t have any cables. I usually just call for service.” She nodded, disappointed. “It’s okay. The battery’s probably too far gone anyway. My lights won’t even turn on.” “Well, I’m not going to leave you stranded here. Let me give you a ride?” Miranda bit her lip then glanced at him. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be any trouble.” “No trouble at all. Your house isn’t that far out of the way.” Miranda pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. As she stood next to him, the scent of his aftershave wafted over her. She swallowed hard, and instantly thought of Jason and his clean smell. Everything makes me miss him. She rubbed her chest as if to rub the heartache away. “I can even pick you up in the morning if you like.” “Huh? Oh, no thank you.” She shook her head. “My sister can bring me to work.” Her face fell as she remembered Cassie was staying at Julie’s and groaned. “On second thought, I might have to take you up on that.” “No worries. I have to come by the office early anyway.” Dylan’s smile filled with reassurance. “And I’ll have one of my guys bring a new battery.” “Your guys?” “Yeah, I might not do those things but I do have people who do them for me.” His gaze fell to her bare feet. Glancing down, she whispered, “Oh.” Miranda bent down, reappearing from the Jeep with boots in hand. Her cheeks reddened as she wedged them onto her swollen feet. “I uh…” He held his hand up. “Stop. No need to explain.” “Thank you so much.” “You bet.” Dylan’s hand rested on her elbow as he guided her to his Audi. “Can’t leave my best Seattleite girl stranded.”

“Oh, brother.” He grinned. “Besides, I kind of like this knight in shining armor shtick.” Miranda quietly laughed as he opened the car door for her then jogged around to the other side. She smoothed her hair back and took a deep breath to relax as he climbed in the driver’s seat. “So,” Dylan winked at her and threw the car into gear. “You like to drive fast?” Thirty seconds later they sped down the highway. “I’m starving. You want to stop for something to eat?” He glanced over at her. “I was on my way to dinner.” Weariness settled over her like dust in an old house. She almost said no, the temptation of climbing into bed and pulling the covers over her head was so strong but her stomach rumbled. “Yeah, okay. I could use a hot meal. I’ve been living on cereal lately.” “Cereal? Why’s that?” Miranda shrugged. “Just not that interested in eating lately.” He steered down the exit heading for the city. She assumed he’d go to a drivethru, so it took her by surprise when he turned into the Revinol Steakhouse. “Here? Really?” “Of course. My treat.” “No, you’ve done enough. I pay my own way.” “Listen,” he laid his hand on her arm. “This was my idea. I forgot how stubborn you are.” He winked at her. “Now c’mon. I’m hungry.” Dylan didn’t remove his hand from her arm as they walked toward the steak house. The heat of it filled her with strange butterflies. The feeling instantly set her on alert. The hostess greeted them and soon had them seated in a back booth bathed in warm ambient lighting. Dylan ordered wine and turned his gaze back to Miranda. “Long day?” “It was a super long day. I’m afraid I’m not going to be the greatest company.” His dimple flashed as he studied her face. “You look beautiful tonight.” “Aw, Ja—I mean, Dylan.” Her face heated and she groaned. “I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot. I told you I was tired.” He looked down at his glass. “It’s fine. I understand.” Taking a drink, he continued. “Break-ups are always hard.” Miranda nodded, humiliated over her slip of the tongue. She took a sip of her wine. “It’s been brutal.” “I know how lonely it feels.” Dylan looked into his glass. “It’s been nice rekindling our friendship over these last six weeks.” Stretching back, he studied her reaction. “You definitely shocked me when you showed up. You still never told me what happened on your boat trip?” “Oh I had a great time. I sailed down to San Diego and docked there for a few months. It was amazing.” From his smile, Miranda could tell he was remembering the salty ocean air and freedom.

“Why on earth did you come back? I don’t think I ever would.” “Well,” his dark, mischievous eyes caught hers. “That can be arranged.” She looked down at her napkin and twisted one end. “Life is very different for you than it is for other people. Not everyone has the freedom to just pack up and go.” “I have a good life. I’m not going to apologize about having money.” Dylan shrugged and ran his hand down the side of his blond hair. “And I’d like to share it with someone.” He studied her again. His gaze seemed to penetrate into her own secret thoughts, causing Miranda to squirm. “Well, we’re probably all looking for that special person.” He took another drink, his gaze shooting across the room. When he looked back, he lifted the glass in a cheers motion. “Here’s to good food and reuniting with old friends. Maybe someday I’ll get a chance to see those cute bare feet of yours again.” Miranda rolled her eyes but touched her glass to his. Whatever the toast, she could sure use the wine right about now.

Night had fallen and the temperature had dropped by the time they finally finished dinner. Dylan held the exit door for Miranda and placed his jacket around her shoulders. “Nice to have friends who are gentlemen,” she said, hoping to remind him of their status. Slowly, they walked across the parking lot. “Full moon tonight,” he remarked, staring at it. The moon was large and amber as it sat on the skyline. Miranda softly sighed. “It’s gorgeous. I wonder what makes it that color?” “When the moon is near the horizon, the moonlight passes through more atmosphere, and changes the color. You know what sailors say about the moon?” “No, what?” The breeze swept her hair across her lips. He reached over and slowly tucked it behind her ear. “Full red moon in the morning, sailors take warning.” “Oh?” Her heart beat a little faster. Why was his touch affecting her so? She shouldn’t have had that glass of wine at dinner. “It warns of a brewing storm.” “Are you afraid of a little stormy weather?” She grinned, before catching herself and looking away. “I can handle anything that comes my way.” His voice was deep and serious. His hand slid down from her ear and rested on the crook of her neck, gently teasing a strand of her hair. Her skin tingled under his touch and her mouth felt dry. Avoiding his eyes, she removed his jacket and handed it back to him. “Thanks for letting me borrow this. It’s amazing how the weather changes so quickly.” He gave a disappointed exhale and unlocked the car door. Once inside Miranda

pressed her cold hands against her cheeks. What was wrong with her? Was she missing male companionship that much? She needed to get away from him and home before she made any bad decisions. “Would you mind if we just check to see if the Auto Parts store is open?” Miranda asked after he climbed into the car. “You don’t have to handle the battery. I can do it.” Dylan’s face was expressionless as he drove. Miranda wondered if she should make her case again. He shifted the car into third and nodded. “Yeah, of course. We have to pass it anyway. Can’t hurt to check.” They pulled into the Auto Parts store parking lot and Miranda ran in. Her feet still throbbed but she was on a mission: get home where it was safe. Dylan trailed slowly behind her. The technician helped her locate the battery she needed and carried it to the register. “You have to bring your old one back to be refunded the core charge,” the technician advised her. “You know how to put this in?” “I can figure it out,” Miranda said. After all, what were smart phones for? “Just remember, the red is positive. Hook it up first.” “Got it.” Miranda lifted it, when she felt a large hand push her arm away. “I’ve got this,” Dylan said, picking it up. “Don’t want a girl carrying more than me.” Miranda waited until they were outside to respond. “Hey there, buddy. I appreciate you carrying it for me, but I’m not a girl. I’m an adult. And I really can carry my own battery.” Dylan popped his trunk and set it in the back with a thud. “Well, humor me then.” He smiled at her, and his dimple crinkled. “Thanks. But no more ‘girl’ stuff.” He put his hands in the air. “Whoa! Message received loud and clear.” Back at the dental office, Dylan carried the battery over to her car and quickly installed it for her. Five minutes later Miranda was in the driver’s seat. “Finger’s crossed!” she said. She turned the key and chuckled with relief when the Jeep started. “Oh baby, how I’ve missed you!” she said, petting the dash. “Wow, what am I? Chopped liver?” “Sheesh. You men are so sensitive.” Climbing out of the car, she hugged him with one arm. “You’re a life saver.” “What’s this?” Dylan’s brow wrinkled unhappily. “One-armed hugs are what you give someone when you’re at church or for people you don’t really like.” Miranda rolled her eyes and squeezed him tightly with both arms. He hugged her back, whispering in her hair, “Mmmm, that’s better.” She closed her eyes for a second, unwilling to leave the strength and warmth of his embrace. Sighing, she finally pulled away. “You truly made my night. I had a good time.” His dark eyes mirrored the same sentiment back as he smiled at her. “Hate to say that I’m glad I found you stranded, but I am. Now I just need to find myself a

white steed.” She laughed. “Aw. How could I forget? My knight in shining armor. Seriously though, you were a big help. Although I did miss out on seeing Claudia in her stilettos trying to jumpstart my car.” “Wow, I barely come in a close second to that visual.” He smiled again. “You have an awesome laugh. I think I’d change a hundred batteries just to hear it.” “Coming from you, that’s saying a lot.” “What can I say? I am who I am.” His words hit at her core. Dylan knew who he was, and he wasn’t apologetic about it. “So, what do you think about the new Mission: Impossible?” Dylan jammed his hands in his overcoat pocket and rocked back on his heels. “Another one? That series just keeps going.” “Yeah but they keep getting better.” His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Like someone else I know.” “You always were such a jokester.” He shut the car’s trunk before responding. “It’s the truth. Anyway, it’s premiering next week. Want to go?” Miranda’s heart froze in her chest. Her life seemed littered with bad decisions. How could she know which one was the right choice? But then again, why not? She felt lonely to her core, and she enjoyed his friendship. “I’d love to. But this time I pay my own way.” Dylan chuckled. “Okay, if it’s that important to you. And you can spring for the popcorn too.” “Whatever! That popcorn always makes me sick, I have no idea why.” “No popcorn then. So, Friday at seven?” Miranda grinned. “Okay, sounds good.” He slapped the roof of her car with a rat-a-tat-tat beat. “Awesome. I’ll see you then. Or tomorrow. I’ll actually see you tomorrow.” “I’ll bring you coffee. Still like it black?” “Just dip your finger in it. That’ll make it sweet enough.” She groaned, and he laughed again. Then he climbed inside his car and slammed the door. Dylan waited for her to leave the parking lot before speeding in the opposite direction with a deep rumble and quickly disappearing around the corner. “Show off,” she whispered to herself, shaking her head. Just like he’d been in Seattle.

Chapter Fourteen

AUTUMN

A fter weeks of camping in the middle of nowhere, Jason desperately needed a hot

shower and some clean clothes. He’d booked into a hotel the night before and, by morning, he already started to feel human again. Jason slathered on shaving cream and studied his face in the mirror. He looked tired…older. Suddenly it seemed vitally important to get back to his roots, back to his past reality. He dragged the razor up the length of his cheek and made his decision. He was going to track down the house he’d grown up in, the same house he had been forced to leave all those years ago. It had been his grandparents’ house. Jason had moved in with them at seven years old, driven there late one night by a police officer after his mom died. He still remembered the policeman, bald and heaving for breath as his too-tight belt cut into his middle. He’d given Jason a stuffed bear and told him he was a man, and men didn’t cry. His grandma had been waiting in her yellow bathrobe for them on the front lawn. She’d come running towards the police car before Jason had the chance to undo his seatbelt. She’d grabbed him in her arms and held him so close he could hear her old heart fluttering against the shell of his ear. Grandma had rocked him, repeating over and over, “This home is yours, for as long as you have breath.” Just nine years later he’d lost both of his grandparents. And somehow, along the way, he’d lost himself too. Jason turned his beater truck down the familiar road, eased off the gas and idled along the street. Above him, the big maple trees spread their branches like a long green tunnel. He noticed the one he’d hidden in as a kid all those years ago. A lump formed in his throat. That kid had been lonely and afraid about the future. It was a bitter pill that he still felt the same way. He passed the neighbor’s house on the corner where his grandma used to play pinochle every Wednesday night. Next was Mr. Lawrence’s place, a cranky old man who’d accused Jason of running through his yard and ruining his gladiolas. After getting blamed for the damaged flower stalks more than a few times, Jason decided to give the old man something to gripe about. He’d snuck over there one night after sunset, running home with a bouquet for his grandma. She’d scolded him right

proper and sent him to his room without dinner. Still, later that night he’d caught her with a small smile on her face as she arranged the flowers in her favorite crystal vase. With a squeak of the truck’s brakes, he stopped outside his grandparents’ house. He blinked hard at the sudden sting of tears. The house was no longer white, but painted a dark grey with a cherry red door. There was still a chain link fence around the front of the property, and the same large rhododendron stood guarding the front corner. A half-filled kiddie pool sat in the sun next to a kick ball. On the other side of the driveway, a sprinkler waved back and forth, watering a flowerbed. He leaned back, peering up at the second story. The upstairs window was open, Grandma’s old room. Blue-striped curtains fluttered into view with the flow of air. Jason smiled to himself. The house seemed happy, as if life and love lived there. Next door, he saw the familiar face of his grandma’s best friend, Aunt Delores, partly hidden behind the rose bushes she was busy pruning. He grinned to see she was still wearing the same type of green seersucker pants and loose pastel shirts that he remembered from childhood. Her hands were gloved and a wide-brimmed straw hat shielded her face from the sun. On impulse, he edged the truck along and stopped across from her. Shifting into park, he leaned across the seat to unroll the passenger window. “Hey, Aunt Delores.” he called. She froze and looked around, her movements scared and unsteady. “Over here, Aunt Delores.” He waved his arm. She did a clumsy pirouette and finally spied him in the truck. Her face contorted from fear into confusion as she peered into the dark cab. “It’s me, Jason. Long time, no see.” Her mouth dropped open, and she took a few tottering steps backward. “Jason? Oh my word.…” She dropped the shears and scuttled over to the passenger door. Her hand rested on the door’s frame and she bent forward for a closer look. “Oh my goodness, it really is you!” Her washed-out brown eyes blinked and stared, her mouth puckering as though she might cry. “Hi, Aunt Delores.” Jason smiled. “Yep, it’s really me.” “Oh, young man! You just pull in right here. Park in the driveway. Let me make you some hot cocoa.” Her thin arm directed him towards the driveway like a trembling windsock. Jason shifted the Chevy into first and drove up to her garage. She followed him as fast as she could, her slip-on sneakers gripping the lawn with thick rubber tread. “I just can’t believe it!” she gasped, bobbing outside the truck door as he climbed out. “Look how tall you are.” He reached down to wrap his arm around her bony shoulders and gave her a gentle hug. She’d lost weight since he’d last seen her. Aunt Delores had always been a sturdy woman, with a mean swat if she thought she’d been disrespected. “I guess that happens with age, huh?” “Well, I don’t know about that.” Her wrinkled cheeks pinkened. “Seems to me

like age has made me shorter.” “But still gorgeous as ever.” Jason smiled. “Oh, you’re a charmer. Come in, come in. Tell me everything that’s happened.” She hurried ahead of him up the concrete stoop to her front door. The screen door squeaked as she pulled it open. He followed, his head swiveling to take in the view of his grandparents’ house from her yard. The interior of her house was just as he remembered. Jason stopped for moment, almost confused, as the musty scent of her home overwhelmed him with memories. He couldn’t put his finger on the smell, somewhere between an old garage and the Goodwill store. Still, it yanked him immediately back to his childhood when Grandma would send him to mow Delores’s yard, and she would always have a plate of cookies waiting. “My goodness,” Delores chattered to herself in the kitchen. There was noise of cupboards opening and dishes rattling. “After all these years, Jason is finally home.” She came out with a steaming mug and a plate of vanilla sandwich cookies. “I couldn’t find any cocoa, but here’s some Earl Grey tea.” Jason took the offered cup with a nod and glanced down at the water. Bits of tea leaves floated as the string snaked out of the cup and down the side. “Thank you, Aunt Delores. You didn’t have to do that.” “Oh, no trouble.” Despite the vigorous nod of her head, her short steely grey hair remained frozen in place like a bike helmet. “Let's go sit. My goodness! We’ll use the good living room.” She whispered this conspiratorially as she led the way through the cluttered hallway to her formal living room. Jason glanced around as he entered through the doorway. He’d never been in the room before. “Sit. Sit.” She indicated the far couch. Jason stepped carefully along the plastic carpet protector running the length of the carpet, before sitting on the velour couch. “So.” Delores sat across from him, primly holding her teacup with a tiny hand outlined with a roadmap of raised veins. “Tell me everything that’s happened. The last time I saw you was right after the real estate agent put the For Sale sign in the front yard. Oh, she was a nasty lady.” She blew on her tea, and continued. “You said you were leaving for your uncle’s home. I’d expected to meet him. Then ‘Poof!’ you just disappeared. Whatever happened to you?” He took a sip of his tea, then set the cup down with a grimace, picking a leaf off of his tongue. “Nothing much. Went and stayed with Uncle John for a few years, and now I’m back.” The lie fell out of his mouth easily, almost like the truth. There’d never been an uncle, but there was no way he was going to rehash what actually happened. “Oh, well, my dear boy. You’ve missed a lot. The neighborhood has really changed.” She sighed and looked away morosely. “The Stasinski’s family moved nearly two years ago. You should see the new family that took over that house. Completely ruined the yard!”

Jason made an appropriate sympathetic noise. “I know. It’s just terrible,” she continued. “And then Sandy got married.” His eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Sandy?” “You remember her. The big girl that used to manage the pet store.” “Big girl?” “Yes. Well, she’s right skinny now from running up and down that there mountain.” She jabbed a finger out the window to indicate the sole mountain in the area, the pride and joy of the town. Jason nodded, hoping he seemed suitably impressed. “Wow, well that’s great. Maybe I’ll bump into her now that I’m back.” “I hope you do. She has six kids—two sets of twins, if you can believe. Her husband’s a nice young man, but if you’d stayed they could have all been yours.” Jason choked on his tea and immediately coughed. “Are you okay?” Concerned, she shifted forward to the edge of her seat. He waved her off with a thumbs-up sign. “Well,” she said, settling back in the wing chair. “I’m sure I can find you some nice young lady. I think Violet’s granddaughter.… No? Oh, that’s too bad. I’m just so glad you’re here now. Although it would have been nice if you had come back sooner.” He frowned. “Why’s that, Aunt Delores?” “People were looking for you! Trying to track you down for years. They’ve all but given up now.” She shrugged her bony shoulders and readjusted the striped afghan over her knees. Jason felt a chill run down his back. “Who was looking for me?” “One of them was a nice-looking man. He always wore the smartest suit. He used to come by once a month for a while.” She smiled and took another sip. “Who was he?” “He always complimented my flowers too. Said I had such a green thumb!” Her eyes brightened at the memory. “Aunt Delores,” Jason chewed on his cheek in an attempt to control his impatience. “What was his name?” “Oh, for heaven’s sake, you expect me to remember that?” She looked at him again, her eyes rheumy. His heart dropped, and he felt a stab of sadness. She had gotten so old. The skin on her face and arms was crinkled like tissue paper. It was no wonder she couldn’t remember. “Don’t be staring at me like I’ve gone dotty.” She set her cup down on the end table next to her. “I’ve got his card around here somewhere.” With a creak, she stood and wandered back into the kitchen. Jason heard the drawers sliding in and out, along with her mumbling, “Now where did I put that blasted thing?” After a few minutes she let out a triumphant “Aha!” and came weaving back into the room, holding the card in the air between two trembling fingers like an Olympic torch. “I’ve found it. Here it is, young man.”

Jason gingerly took the worn card from her, dog-eared on the corners. He squinted to read the faded typing, indecipherable now. But underneath it was a handwritten phone number.

Chapter Fifteen

AUTUMN

T he address on the card directed him to a lawyer’s office located in downtown

Portland. Jason drove up and down the street searching for a spot to park his beatup truck. Cars lined the street, bumper to bumper. He fumed when a yellow Beetle cut him off, making him run a red light. Finally, he spotted a sign advertising a parking garage, and spun the wheel hard to make the narrow turn. Unconsciously, he ducked his head at the low ceiling. Every spot was marked compact and filled with cars parked so tight that they appeared to have been shoehorned in. He glanced at the time on his phone and hit the steering wheel, forced to continue up the ramp. Finally, a vacant space appeared and he backed the truck in. Cursing at the tight fit, he eased the door open and squeezed his way out. Jason didn’t bother to lock the truck. The cab was filled with candy wrappers and stray French fries. Anyone wanting to loot it was welcome to whatever they found. He hurried down the stairs to the street level, rechecking the time. His mouth tightened into a thin line of annoyance. Just three minutes until the appointment. Jason sprinted down the sidewalk, heading for the Centennial building ahead. As he dashed up the stairs, his eye caught a brass sign bolted to the front of the brick building that announced it was built in the 1880s. He grabbed the brass handle and yanked the glass door open. Inside, soft music greeted him, along with the scent from an enormous white floral arrangement spilling over a marble pedestal. He walked through the lobby to the elevator and punched the button repeatedly for the sixth floor. Taking a deep breath, he focused on calming his rapid heartbeat. Relax, this is it. He smoothed his dark hair and tucked in the back of his oxford shirt. The elevator dinged. He stepped on, checking the time once again. Then he wiped his sweaty hands along his jeans. Breathe, just breathe. Upstairs, the quiet law office was decorated with walnut paneling and plush carpeting. A middle-aged receptionist wore a telephone headset, her blonde hair in a chignon. She greeted him with a friendly smile. “Good afternoon. What can I help you with?” “Hi. Eleven o’clock appointment?” Jason walked over to her desk and began

drumming his fingers on the counter. Her eye flickered with disapproval. “I’m here to see James Ashbach.” She glanced at the computer monitor and gestured to one of the black leather couches along the wall. “Please have a seat. I’ll let him know you’re here.” The receptionist whispered into the phone, a low murmur he was unable to make out. Jason strode over to the far wall and studied a large painting that hung there. What is this? Some type of blue squiggles and red squares encased in a thick black walnut frame. He snorted. I could paint this. He ran his finger along the beveled edge of the frame. But this frame is a true piece of art. The expansive twin doors swung open behind him. Jason turned to see a man in his late sixties, wearing a dark tailored business suit, step out of the office. He stood tall, despite his age. His sparse grey hair was combed neatly to cover the top of his domed head. “Jason Landon?” The lawyer’s voice held a resonance of rich timber. “Welcome. We have a lot to talk about.” Jason hesitated then stepped forward. He yanked his hand out of his pocket and stuck it out. The lawyer firmly shook it. “Come in,” James Ashbach said, ushering Jason into the office. He followed behind, his steps muffled by the thick woolen carpet. “Well,” the lawyer began as he shut the heavy door. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve been searching for you for quite some time.” Jason raised an eyebrow in question. “Where are my manners? Sit! Would you like something to drink?” The lawyer motioned towards a crystal decanter on the walnut sideboard. Jason shook his head and sat in a red leather recliner. “So, like I said, we’ve been searching for you for some time now. You’ve been quite elusive. Not running from the law, are you?” He winked. Jason, feeling nonplussed, shook his head. “Ahh, well. It finally came to a point where we had to hire a private investigator to track you down.” The lawyer sat in his leather chair and peaked his fingertips together on his desk. “Doing nicely for yourself, I see. A house on the lake in Washington?” Jason’s eyes darted around the room suspiciously. “I didn’t know you were looking for me.” The lawyer paused. “No? Aren’t you here because of the letter? We sent a letter to your house.” Jason shrugged his shoulders. “This is the first I’ve heard of it. Actually, I haven’t been home for a while. I guess you could say I’m on sort of a walk-about. Ended up stopping by an old family friend who happened to have your business card on hand. I guess you left it with her a few years back.” “Ahh, the rose lady. She did have quite the green thumb.” A smile broke out across the lawyer’s face. “Well now, isn’t this interesting. Some may even call it serendipity.”

“So what’s this about?” “Well son, it’s about your grandparents’ estate. Your grandmother was the sole inheritor of your grandfather’s investments. Over the years they’ve been sold, and we’ve kept the money waiting for you in an account.” “Investments?” “Yes, your grandfather owned shares in three different companies. Oh, he bought them when they were at ground level. Obviously a gambler. And, well, the gamble paid off. When the businesses were sold, your grandfather’s portion was placed into special accounts.” “I’ve never heard anything about this.” “Well, your grandmother didn’t touch the money, choosing instead to live on her husband’s pension and life insurance. The money has just been sitting in the account gathering interest.” “How much money are we talking about?” The lawyer smiled. He reached into his drawer, pulled out an expensive leather bound ledger, and slid it across the desk. Jason looked down. His heart almost thumped right out of his chest… $6,214,235.26

Chapter Sixteen

AUTUMN

T he Regal Cinema’s huge billboard, in all it’s blinking splendor, could be seen

from the highway. Miranda flicked her blinker on and headed for it like a dreaded bulls eye. She turned into the mall-sized lot, the sign above the entrance glowing with white lights highlighting the show times. Craning her neck, she finally found a space in the back. “Holy Cow, this place is hopping.” She parked the car. Her phone dinged with a text. —Movie is about to start. She rested her head against the seat. I can’t believe I said yes. Why’d I do that? I still feel like half a person. Dr. Phil’s voice rang in her head, “Are you trying to fill an empty void?” Maybe. She went back to her phone and scrolled through old texts. Next to Jason’s name were thirty unanswered messages from her to him. They varied from begging to swearing; all voicing the same thing: I love you, why are you doing this? Miranda sniffed and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. How am I supposed to get past this? Her phoned buzzed again. “Sheesh, Dylan. Hold your horses,” she muttered, instead typing.—Parking. I can’t live like this any more, like I’m filled with an aching maw that’s eating me alive. Dylan’s a friend. If there’s one thing I need right now, it’s a friend. It was weird she’d asked to meet Dylan here, rather than letting him pick her up. He’d been insistent but she’d stayed strong. She wasn’t sure why. Was it because she didn’t want the awkwardness of introducing Cassie to him? Miranda pulled the visor down and studied her reflection in the mirror. She swiped away at the tear stains and puckered her mouth to apply some pink lip gloss. Out of nowhere, a question boomeranged from her head to her heart: Why do you care if you look nice? Cringing, she quickly blotted it from her thoughts. I have to check, because I always look like a zombie after work. She sucked in a deep breath of air and shoved the visor up. Fine, I don’t care. Miranda opened the door but couldn’t resist, rapidly flipping the mirror back down to check on her hair. Her phone dinged again.—Waiting for you at the entrance. Miranda texted back.— On my way.

An uneasy feeling fluttered in her stomach as she stepped out of the Jeep and smoothed down her champagne-colored skirt. She rubbed at the goosebumps on her arms and grabbed a cardigan from the back seat. The cold night air swirled against her exposed legs, making her instantly regretted her choice of clothing. Miranda closed her eyes as she shut the door, heart thumping in raw sorrow. Leaving the Jeep felt like being pulled out of a protective cocoon. She hadn’t been with another guy besides Jason for a long time. “Hanging with a friend is different than a date,” she muttered, then promptly rolled her eyes for talking to herself again. I’m a freak. She locked the Jeep’s door and tucked the key into her purse before hurrying to the entrance. Dylan bounced on his toes under the blinking marquee lights, his eyes darting about slightly anxious. His dark jeans showed off lean, muscled legs. At the sight of her, he smiled slowly and allowed his gaze to sweep the length of her body. “Wow! You look gorgeous.” His dimples showed and he bent to whisper in her ear, “Hot.” Miranda felt her face heat up. No! Stop blushing! There was nothing she could do. I bet my cheeks are blazing like two stop signs right about now. “Don’t say it. I feel like a dork already.” She shrugged into her sweater and held her arms crossed in front of her. “Why?” “Wearing a skirt when it’s this cold out. I probably look like a walking goose bump.” He’d been opening the cinema door when she said this, and stopped to laugh. “You always crack me up. Come on, it’s warmer inside.” He guided her with his hand resting at the small of her back. At the ticket window Miranda pulled out her debit card. “One for Mission Impossible,” she spoke into the round speaker. “Make that two.” Dylan slid his black Am Ex card through the slot before she had a chance. “Dylan! We had a deal.” He winked at her mischievously. “You don’t always get your way, you know.” She bit her lip and resisted rolling her eyes. Grabbing the proffered tickets he guided her into the lobby. The smell of buttery popcorn filled the air, as the moviegoers crowded into the concession lines. “You want some?” she asked, pointing to the five-foot display of a smiling popcorn container sitting on the navy carpet. “I thought it made you sick.” “I can still get it for you.” “It makes me sick too.” “Seriously, you are being so difficult.” He smiled, revealing his dimples again. “Let’s just go enjoy the movie, okay?” Miranda shook her head, hands in the air. “I give up.” He held the theater door open for her and they made their way to the seats towards the middle. The movie was as awesome as she’d known it would be. When the closing credits

rolled across the screen, Dylan moved to whisper in her ear, “Hang tight. Sometimes they show a sneak peek at the end.” Miranda settled back and tried not to feel awkward sitting there silently as the theater emptied. The screen finally went to black and the aisle guide lights glowed orange. “Not this time I guess.” Dylan stretched out his neck. “Still, what a great movie. Reminds me of the time we saw Furious Four.” “Oh yeah.” Miranda had forgotten about that. She ran her finger down the armrest. That night had ended in a kiss. Her cheeks filled with heat. Dylan had been an excellent kisser, slow and sensual. He grinned at her like he knew what she was thinking and leaned closer, giving her another strong whiff of his cologne. “You want to go get some ice cream?” Ice cream? Miranda considered it for a second. What message was that sending? Frustration rose in her, tight like a spring. I’m sick and tired of having to analyze every little thing, worried I’m going to make the wrong decision. Jason had left her. It was time to move on. Besides, it was only ice cream. It wasn’t like she was going to marry the dude. “Yes, I’d love to.” Once outside, he took her hand and caressed the side of her palm with his thumb. “Let me drive, okay?” She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. He closed the passenger door after her and jogged to the driver’s side. “Ready?” he asked her, starting the Audi. “Ah, ready for what?” Dairy Queen was less than a minute down the street. He revved the engine and stepped on the gas. Out on the highway, Dylan quickly shifted through the gears until Miranda felt sucked back into her seat. “Dylan!” She squealed and laughed at the same time, wild and happy. “What? You like to go fast? Let’s see what this baby can do.” He floored it. “What about ice cream?” Miranda shouted over the roar of the engine. “Oh we’re getting it.” His dimple crinkled. “In the next town.” She wanted to smack him for tricking her. But the adrenalin rush made her laugh. Car after car flashed by as he shot past like a bullet. Miranda felt almost sad when he slowed for the exit. They swooped up the curved ramp, and the engine grumbled as he shifted it down. She could understand why. This car was meant to go fast. They pulled into the Dairy Queen and ordered sundaes. Dylan parked the car. Miranda handed him one of the red spoons before taking a bite of her icecream. “So, how long do you think you’ll be a sales rep?” Miranda asked. Dylan spooned in a mouthful of ice cream. He let it melt a second before he answered. “I’ll stop when I get bored.” “What do you think you’ll do next?” “Mmm, I don’t know. Maybe travel overseas. My cousin has a business over there. Biggest Lexus dealership in Europe. I could work there, or maybe Dad will let me live off my trust fund. Depends, I guess.”

“You like working?” “It’s kind of part of the requirements of my trust fund. The old man wants to see me put some hours in. He doesn’t want me to have it too cushy.” “I like working,” Miranda said, swirling her spoon in her cup. “What? No one likes to work.” “I mean,” she said, thinking about it. “If I could work less and take more vacations, sure I’d love that. But there is something about working that makes me feel like I’m giving back. I think I’d miss it if I stayed at home every day.” “What about when you have kids?” She shrugged. “I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. That might be different because the kids would be my job. Technically, I’d still be working.” “Hmm.” “What do you want to do when you have kids?” “I don’t know. I guess I’ll let my wife decide that. There’s an old rule I intend to live by: Happy wife, happy life.” Miranda laughed. “There’s probably some real truth to that.” She leaned her head back against the seat and yawned. “Speaking of work, I’ve got to get back. I’m super tired.” “You are?” “Yeah, remember? I worked today.” He pouted. “Does that mean I need to take you home?” “Yeah. Sorry for being a party pooper.” Dylan touched the back of her hand, tracing the veins. “You’re the life of the party. I always enjoy myself when I’m with you. Always have.” “Aww.” “Remember our walks?” Miranda laughed. “Yes! They were so cold! People told me it only rained in Seattle. I wasn’t prepared to freeze. Remember the night the shops were closing but you ran inside anyway, even as the owner yelled to get out? I remember how you grabbed a wool coat off the rack and told the owner he couldn’t close the shop without you buying it. You didn’t even check the price.” Dylan smiled. “I’m not sure I ever thanked you for that coat.” She looked over then, her heart jumping at the heat in his returning gaze. Slowly he moved closer, tipping her face up, and gave her a gentle kiss. His tongue pushed her mouth open and his hand threaded its way through her hair. Miranda’s heart thudded in her chest as the rising intensity of the kiss swept through her. Guilt shot through her, and she began to pull away. “I’m sorry.” “Shh.” He kissed her again. She drew away once more to catch her breath and closed her eyes. “This is so confusing.” “But, you’re single now, right?” Eyes still closed, Miranda nodded. Her heart felt like she was lying. But it was

the truth. Jason didn’t want her any more. Dylan squeezed her hand. “I’ll slow down. We’ll take it one step at a time. It’s just—” Taking a deep breath, he ran his hand through his perfect blonde wave. His gaze fastened on her again, waggling his eyebrows like a naughty boy. “I mean, that was awesome.” Miranda softly laughed. “Yeah it was. Now quit talking about it. I’m not sure I’m ready yet.” He tried to wipe the smile off his face to match her serious expression. The light caught his rugged cheekbones at just the right angle. “Yes Ma’am.” He saluted her and she immediately wished he didn’t look so darn handsome. She had to turn her face away, not sure she’d have the will power to resist him much longer.

Once back at home, Miranda slipped her shoes off and padded, barefoot, over to the couch. “You finding any good celebrity gossip?” she called to Cassie, who sat at the kitchen counter with her laptop. “Chris Pratt’s making a new movie. Did you have fun?” Miranda thought about it. “Oddly yes. I had a great time.” Cassie snorted. “You sound surprised.” “Yeah, I kind of am.” “I don’t know how I feel about that.” Cassie heaved a deep breath. She glanced at Miranda sprawled out on the couch, her feet propped up on the arm. “I mean, Jason is family.” Miranda groaned. “He left me. And not just once. Twice.” “Yeah, but you know he doesn’t mean it. He’s messed up.” “Cassie, try to understand my point of view. I tried. I can’t love someone enough to make them love me back.” “Yeah, I know.” Her sister sadly faced the computer. She typed for a minute, then let out a long sigh. “I wonder where he is tonight.” “Ugh, well, I was feeling good about tonight.” “Sorry. I just worry about him. I know he still loves you.” “I’m learning to let people make their own choices. He doesn’t get to be a Jackin-the-box, popping in and out of my life, depending on if he believes if he’s good enough or not.” The conversation was making her want to scream. “This breakup has wrecked me. I mean, I could barely get out of bed in the morning for a while there.” Her heart twisted inside and that familiar lump in her throat appeared. Miranda grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. She was over this conversation. Suddenly she regretted the movie with Dylan. I need to find another way to move forward with my life. Maybe get back into hiking. She hadn’t gone on a hike since the crystal cave, almost as if she couldn’t bear to make new memories

without Jason. Rubbing her hands across her face, she sighed. It was time to face the facts. Her love hadn’t been enough. How am I supposed to go on? Was it wrong to just want to feel happy again? “You still love him, too,” Cassie muttered. Pressing her lips together, Miranda stabbed the Volume Up button. The screen flickered to a Saved by the Bell rerun, one of Jason’s favorites. Trying not to care, she flipped past it. Archer jumped up and she scooted to the side so he could lie next to her. “You’re lucky you don’t fall in love,” she whispered to the dog. “Because it hurts so bad.” Archer whined and laid his head on his front paws. “Hey Sis, come look at this.” Cassie called. Miranda thought about ignoring her. “I’m serious! This is important.” The tone of concern was unmistakable in her sister’s voice. Miranda tossed the remote onto the end table and walked over. “What is it?” “I just got a message about our uncle.” Cassie’s face was white. Our uncle? The same one we escaped from all those years before?

Chapter Seventeen

AUTUMN

Heart pounding, Jason stared at the ledger, then up at the lawyer. “You’re kidding

me—” “Oh no. It’s quite a shock, I’m sure.” Jason leaned back in the leather chair. “I guess I will take that drink after all.” The lawyer laughed, his own chair creaking as he stood. He walked over to the sideboard and carefully poured two fingers of brandy into crystal glasses, handing one to Jason. “Cheers,” he said and held his glass up. Jason took a solid sip from the glass, relishing the burn. He turned his attention back to the ledger and rubbed his temple in disbelief. After reading it one more time, he stood and walked over to the window. The city stretched below him, wild and chaotic with busy life. Cars trudged along bumper to bumper. Tempers flared. Miniature people bustled about on the sidewalk, late for something or other. Just minutes earlier, Jason had been one of them. And now his entire life had changed forever. He slammed down the rest of the alcohol and winced at the burn. Turning, he studied the lawyer. “Is this for real? “Yes. It’s for real. Congratulations son, you’ve got some money.” Jason heaved a deep breath out. That ledger was his. The money was his. He could fix his truck, buy a new house, start over. Heck, he could get a new truck! He wasn’t some poor kid with two deadbeat parents anymore. Jason’s face lit in a big smile. “Thank you, Mr. Ashbach. I appreciate you letting me know.” “You’re very welcome. There’s still some paperwork to fill out and you’ll need to ID yourself at the bank before the money can be released. Let’s set up a meeting tomorrow to sort it all out with the bank.” The lawyer folded his hands on top of the lacquered desk and smiled at Jason. “Be wise with the money. But have a little fun. I know your grandparents would have wanted that.” Jason rubbed the stubble on his jaw line, trying to process. A new account, filled with cash. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, and burst out of him in laughter. I can’t wait to tell Miranda. His joy was cut off and his forehead creased as he

remembered Dylan. It’s not too late. I’ll change myself completely, be the person she needs. I can win her back. The lawyer cleared his throat. Jason shook his head to clear his thoughts and glanced back at him. “It’ll take some time to process, I’m sure. But trust me, you’ll adjust just fine.” Jason stuck out his hand. “Thank you again. Sorry it’s been such a trial tracking me down.” “Well worth it.” The lawyer gripped his hand firmly and shook it again. “Finally nice to see the face of the person we’ve been chasing for so long. If there’s anything else I can do, you know where to find me.” Jason nodded and opened the door. He wandered back through the office, consumed with his thoughts. Everything felt surreal. Pushing the elevator button on autopilot, he pulled out the ledger and twirled it. “Have a good day!” The cheery voice of the receptionist made him start. “Oh yeah. Thanks.” A big grin broke across his face, and he had to resist holding up the ledger like a trophy. “It already is.” Jason jogged down the steps as he walked out of the office and into the bright sunshine. He jiggled the keys and went to find his truck. Sliding into the battered seat, he whispered, “Maybe time for an upgrade, ol' girl.”

Chapter Eighteen

AUTUMN

C assie bit at her thumbnail. “Look at what my friend just sent me on Facebook.”

Miranda bent down to read the screen. A tiny post said, “Hey, how come I didn’t see you at your uncle’s wedding?” She frowned as she straightened. “Your friend means Uncle Vince?” Cassie nodded. “Yeah. I guess he got married last month.” “Wow—” Miranda actually felt speechless. She rubbed her face with her hands. “Wow—” she repeated. “I know exactly how you feel,” Cassie said. Stumbling a little, Miranda made her way back to the couch. Her heart was numb with shock. “Can you find out any of the wedding information?” “Yeah probably.” Cassie nodded. “You sure you want to know?” “I don’t know how I feel.” Miranda slumped against the cushions and flung her arm over her eyes. She listened to the sounds of Cassie furiously typing. Her heart began to pound in that all-too-familiar way. Taking a slow breath in, she practiced her technique to battle the panic trying to attack her. Breathe for six, hold for four, let out for eight. I’m an adult now. He can’t hurt me again. “I found him,” Cassie muttered, her voice low. “He’s moved to South Bend. He got married on August 27th of this year.” She squinted at the screen. “The lady looks young.” Miranda groaned. “What’s his address?” “What?” “Does the post give his address?” Cassie typed some more. “Yeah. I got the street address.” She swiveled around on the bar stool to face her sister. “What are you thinking?” Miranda bit her bottom lip. What she was considering was crazy. But maybe crazy would finally banish the ghost from her past.

Life just gets more and more insane. Heart pounding, Miranda reached for the handwritten note on the seat next to her. She held it steady against the steering wheel, reading the address, before glancing back at the street sign. This was it. She’d driven nearly six hundred miles to get here, staying overnight at the first decent hotel she’d found after traveling through the mountain pass. And now she was within a stone’s throw from her uncle’s house. Thinking about actually throwing a stone made her smile. Right through the front window of his precious Mercedes. Cassie had done her investigation thoroughly. She hadn’t come with Miranda. “I’m still researching,” she said. “So don’t confront him yet. Just find his house and call me. I’ve got a lead I’m following, and I’ll be there in a couple days.” Cassie wouldn’t share the lead with her, no matter how much Miranda had pulled the big sister card. She shook her head and told Miranda that she needed to be patient for once and let someone else be in charge. Miranda hadn’t much liked the idea of Cassie driving by herself to meet her, but she was too impatient to wait. She had some vacation time, and suddenly it felt vitally important to track this man down now. In a small way, she felt like she was finally standing up for the little girl she’d been when her uncle molested her. He’s not going to get away with it. That thought would have to sustain her until her sister arrived tomorrow night. Blinker on, Miranda spun the wheel and turned down the street. The homes in this neighborhood were cookie-cutter versions of each other, repeated every fourth house. All were two-story, with three car garages and stone work wrapping around the front doors in an arch. Every manicured yard was bordered by two long rows of flowers. Miranda’s stomach churned. These neighbors probably had block parties and barbecues. Maybe they even organized neighborhood watches. They didn’t know they had a predator in their midst. A man with a trusting face who was capable of chugging the hell out of a beer like the good ol’ boy he was. She remembered how charismatic he was. Heck, they probably told each other, “Be sure to invite Vince! He’s the life of the party!” 34480, 34485. The knot in her stomach tightened. Her hands squeezed the steering wheel until her knuckles shone white through the skin. What am I going to do when I find him? Miranda shook herself alert. The last house she’d passed was 35430. The next one would be his. Slowly, she edged up the street. There it was. A two story split level, with its wide three car garage and aggregate driveway. She reached into her purse for her sunglasses and shoved them onto her face. Her heart pounded. She hoped the windows in the Jeep were tinted enough to avoid detection.

The lawn was well-maintained, and a large flower garden sat out front, close to the footpath. Miranda noticed a child’s striped pinwheel stabbed into the soft dirt, its vanes twirling innocently in the slight breeze. Seeing it made her blink back tears. The driveway was empty of cars and all the blinds were shut. It was obvious no one was home. Now what smarty pants? Drive up and down the street until he comes home from work? She sped up, cringing as she saw the next yard filled with bikes and a tricycle. A lone doll sat perched on the porch steps. I’m going to get that son-of-a—She’d nearly reached the end of the street when one final glance in the rear view mirror made her slow down. There was a blue van coming down the street. It stopped in front of her uncle’s house, and a little girl, about seven or eight, wearing a dance leotard, climbed out. Miranda glanced forward. Adrenaline shot through her as she saw a parked car straight in front of her. “No!” she screamed, slamming on the brakes. The Jeep rocked to a stop, inches from the car’s fender. Heart pounding, she pushed her sunglasses up and craned her neck to watch the little girl in the side mirror. The girl opened the gate in the white picket fence and skipped up the walkway to the front door. “No way…. What the—?” Miranda’s mouth dropped open. The van backed out of the driveway. It carefully passed her, the back windows showing her glimpses of more laughing ballerina girls, before it turned the corner and sped off. Air rushed out of her as though she’d been punched in the gut. “What do I do?” An irrational thought of running to the door to rescue the girl flashed through her mind. “What is she doing there?” Miranda’s body zinged with the sense of danger. She grabbed her phone. “Who do I even call?” Miranda glanced back at the house, but the little girl had disappeared inside. She…lives there? With him? With a monster? How can they not know? You can’t do anything. Leave now, before someone calls the police on you. She put the Jeep in gear and slowly moved forward. I need to find someplace to park, someplace I can think. At the stop sign she dialed her sister. She set it on speaker then turned the corner. The phone rang a few times. “Pick up. Pick up. Pick up,” Miranda muttered. “Hello?” Cassie’s cheerful voice answered. “Cassie! Oh, thank goodness you’re home.” “Did you find him?” Cassie’s voice went ice-cold with fear. “Yes!” “Are you okay?” “Cassie, some little girl is staying with Uncle Vince!” “What?” “Yes, I’m serious!” The line went silent. Miranda shivered inside. “Talk to me.”

“Okay, calm down. We’re going to deal with this.” “How?” “Go check in at the Best Western, I’m coming down tomorrow.” “Cassie, I feel like throwing-up.” “Yeah, I bet you do. I’m sure just seeing that girl triggered some memories or feelings. Hang in there, Sis.” “How can we fix this?” “I don’t know, but we’ll figure out a way. Maybe its not too late to press charges.” Miranda felt her stomach roll over at the thought of what her sister was suggesting. “I don’t know if I can do that.” “I’ll be with you. You’re strong.” “I’m about as strong as a wet paper bag right about now.” Miranda started shaking at the thought. “I’m chickening out. I just want to leave this place and go on a long hike. I hear Bridal Falls is beautiful this time of year.” She gave a nervous laugh. “Okay, breathe. Relax. You’re not going anywhere except for the hotel. Call me when you check in. We’re going to fix this, and get him before he hurts anyone else.”

Ten minutes after Miranda checked into the Best Western, a stab of loneliness hit in her core. All she wanted was Jason’s arms around her, telling her it was going to be okay. “I don’t even recognize my life any more.” She sighed and walked over to the window, yanking open the curtains. The light hardly made the room cheerier. Dark bedspreads covered the two double beds. A nondescript painting hung between them; something with a lot of blue—maybe the ocean. The scent of the previous occupant’s old perfume hung in the air. Her phone buzzed. The text was from Dylan —Hey baby, how’s it going? Miranda rolled her eyes and powered the screen off. What am I even doing with him? She flopped back on the bed with her arms behind her head and stared at the ceiling. Nothing to do but wait. And remember. Miranda bit her lip and tried not to feel cheated. What would life have been like if Mom had lived? I’m so sick of it, sick that he even gets to affect my life any more. He doesn’t get to win! Unconsciously, her gaze traced along a stain in the ceiling in the shape of the state of Florida. She counted the curtain rod hooks, then the flying birds in the painting; anything to distract herself from the memories now falling like boulders from the past. I will not be crushed by this. I’m stronger. I’m not a victim. I’m not a victim. “Why, God? Why did you let that happen?” Tears gathered at the corners of her

eyes. When does it get better? She buried her face in a pillow, letting out a scream of helplessness. Sitting up, she pounded it with her fist. “I wish this was his face,” she muttered. After hitting it a few more times Miranda threw it off the bed and walked to the bathroom. The mirror reflected streaks of mascara and red blotches. Seeing herself cry stirred her anger again. “Don’t you do it. Don’t you cry over him. Ever. Again. You are strong. You are going to get through this.” She splashed cold water over her cheeks and used a tissue to wipe under her eyes. “You’re doing this for her. For that little girl. Strength is standing even when you are afraid.” Taking a deep breath, she held it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly. She repeated this a few times, and reached for the TV remote. “Time to just chill.” Miranda found a movie, then grabbed the hotel folder by the phone. Flipping through it, she located the number to a pizza place. “I want a large chicken artichoke. Loaded.” A commercial came on for some guy in a three-piece suit. He stared into the camera and said, “Beauty for ashes.” Miranda sucked in a deep breath at those words. She’d heard them before, somewhere. Twenty minutes later, the pizza arrived. Miranda quickly paid and took the box to the bed. Rifling through the drawers, she found a notepad emblazoned with the hotel’s name. She sat on the bed with a pen and the pad and bit into a slice of pizza. The first line she wrote was; It wasn’t my fault. I don’t care if I believe it’s true or not. Truth is true whether it feels like it or not. She underlined the first four words twice. Then under that she wrote. Beauty for ashes. Miranda reached for the phone, wishing she could call Jason, but rang Cassie instead. Her sister answered on the first ring. “He ain’t getting away with it this time. I’m dropping the hammer on him.” “Cassie, you’re five-foot-two. What kind of hammer can you drop?” “Oh, you just wait and see.” Her sister gave a dark laugh.

Chapter Nineteen

AUTUMN

M iranda stood on the steps of the police station. No doors had ever seemed more intimidating than those in front of her now. I wish Jason were here. I need him so much. Instead, Cassie stood next to her. Her hand hovered near Miranda’s elbow, as if she were not quite sure whether she should touch her or not. “You okay?” Cassie tipped her head sympathetically. Miranda said, “I’m so not okay. This sucks so bad.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I feel like a little girl, waiting to find some adult to take care of this for me.” “When this is all said and done, I’ll hike to Bridal Falls with you.” Miranda’s vision got a bit blurry at her words. “You’d do that for me?” “I’d do anything for you.” “You are a gift from God, I swear.” Miranda hugged her, then yanked open the door. “Let’s get it done.” The doors of the police station opened to a large foyer. Their shoes clattered against the white speckled linoleum, stained from years of traffic. A domed metal detector arched ahead of them. An old police officer, looking just days from retirement, sat up straighter as they approached. Miranda and Cassie set their purses on the table and walked through the detector. After scanning their purses with a wand, the police officer handed them back. “Thank you.” Cassie said. Miranda’s heart beat in her throat. Suddenly this seemed like a horrible idea. “Where do we go if we want to report something?” Cassie continued. “Report what?” “This is a bad idea.” Miranda was sweating but she felt ice-cold. “Let’s go.” “Hang on, Sis.” Cassie rested her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “An assault.” “Detective Ramsey over there. He can help you.” The old police officer pointed to a desk at the far end of the room. Miranda swallowed. He can help me? She was going to have to share this with a man? “Excuse me,” she asked. “Do you have any female detectives?” He shook his head. “Not on duty today. But Ramsey’s a good guy. He’ll help you.”

They walked into the busy room, immediately hit with the smell of burnt coffee. The desks were cordoned off with flimsy half wall partitions covered in a patchworks of family photos and faded cartoon strips. Eventually they made their way to Detective Ramsey’s desk. He was in his forties, balding on the top of his head. “So,” he barely glanced at them as he shuffled stacks of papers around. His desk was a cluttered mess of steno pads, a laptop, dirty coffee cups, and a computer monitor. The phone blinked steadily with two red lights. “How can I help you?” Miranda swallowed. “I think we’ve come at a bad time,” she said and began to back away. Her tone made him look up at her. “Sit.” He indicated the chair with his pencil. Swiveling his chair, he reached for another behind him and dragged it over for Cassie. “Now, what can I do for you ladies?” Miranda’s heart beat in her ears. “I—” I can’t do this! “We’re here to report a crime,” Cassie started, then nudged her sister to continue. Miranda’s mouth was as dry as the pine shavings under a skill saw. Nothing was coming out. Frozen with fear, she couldn’t even nod her head. Every area of her body screamed, THIS is a mistake! “Okay.” He grabbed his steno pad. “What do you have to report?” Miranda shook her head no. “Think of the little girl.” Cassie gripped Miranda’s arm tight. Miranda felt her sister’s fingernails through her sweater. Sweat sprung out on Miranda’s forehead and upper lip. “I want to report something that happened to me. It was a long time ago.” A look passed over the officer’s face. He took a deep breath and nodded. “This isn’t the first time I’ve taken these reports. You’d be surprised. Just take it slow and tell me what happened.” Miranda’s mind blanked at his words. He stared at her expectantly. Time seemed to slow. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. And remember how her uncle reeked of Listerine. He’d touched her cheek, told her how pretty she was. The words flowed from her in a way that had seemed impossible just the night before. An hour had passed when she finally finished speaking. She blinked her eyes, startled at the passage of time. The police officer continued to write, his pencil scratching across the pad. His use of a pencil suddenly struck her as funny, and she stifled a hysterical laugh. She really was losing it. “You did good. I have this recorded.” He tapped the pencil lightly against the pad, hesitated for a moment, then continued. “I wish we could go after this scumbag, but unfortunately this state has one of the worst statutes of limitations on prosecuting criminal molestation.” He studied her from under furrowed eyebrows. “It’s something I’d like to see changed in my career.”

“So, you’re saying there’s nothing we can do?” Miranda whispered, fearing her voice would crack. Detective Ramsey’s chest expanded as he took in a deep breath. Slowly, he let it out. “I want to see you get justice. You deserve it. This guy should be locked up behind bars. But, unfortunately, the law hasn’t been developed that way.” “What else can we do?” “You can try a civil lawsuit. This was definitely a crime. He should pay.” “What if he’s done it again? There’s a little girl that lives with him.” The detective ran a ham-sized hand over his fleshy face. He shook his head. “Unfortunately, we have to wait for him to strike again. And hope the victim is brave enough and has enough support to tell.” Miranda’s eyes flickered with pain. Her stomach ached. All of this, for nothing. “We have to wait for him to commit another crime?” Cassie asked. “Yes, unfortunately. But if statistics prove one thing, it’s that these sick bastards do strike again.” “Well,” Cassie began. “There is one more thing.”

Chapter Twenty

AUTUMN

C assie rolled the Subaru to a stop in front of Uncle Vince’s house. A car drove past

them, with a flurry of leaves spinning up in the car’s wake. Miranda sat next to her, staring numbly ahead. “You’re going to be okay,” Cassie said, glancing at her sister. “We’ll get through this. This scumbag is going down.” She jerked up the emergency break and grabbed her sister’s knee to squeeze it. “You’re braver than you than you think.’” Miranda’s palms were sweaty as she opened the door. She wiped her hands on her pants, her stomach flip-flopping. Straightening her shoulders, she tossed her hair back and met her sister on the front walk. Cassie winked at her and grabbed her hand. “Let's go kick some butt.” They marched up the stairs to the front door. Stabbing the doorbell, Cassie’s face fell into a serious expression. Miranda shifted and Cassie gripped her hand more firmly. The wait seemed to last forever, but finally light steps approached the door. It swung open to reveal a slight woman in a striped shirt and cream poplin shorts, her dark hair pulled back in a soccermom style,. “Yes?” She asked, her forehead creased. “Mrs. Temple?” Cassie began. The woman shifted her gaze between the two sisters. Her grip on the door tightened. “Yes, I’m her.” “We’d like to talk to you for a minute.” “What’s this about?” She pulled back from the opening, her eyes dark and wary. Miranda held her breath. Cassie continued calmly. “This is about your husband, our uncle.” “Your uncle?” Mrs. Temple shook her head, confused. “Are you sure you have the right house? My husband doesn’t have any living family.” “Yes, he actually does. We are them.” Cassie tightened her mouth. “Maybe come back later when he’s home,” Mrs. Temple said, and started to close the door. Cassie blocked it with her foot. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Temple. This is about the safety of your daughter.”

The door froze for a second. Her face peeked out. “Charlotte?” “We’ve just come from the police station,” Cassie continued. “We’d like to share what we told them.” Mrs. Temple’s eyes fluttered. She took a deep breath. “Go around through the gate to the back yard. I’ll meet you there.” Miranda shot a questioning look at Cassie and nodded. They followed the fence to the gate and entered the back yard. It was cool and green back there, smelling like freshly mowed grass. The stone patio held a fire pit and several lawn chairs. Mrs. Temple exited the rear door, nervously wringing her hands. “Sit,” she said, gesturing to the lawn chairs. Miranda perched on the edge of her chair while Cassie sat next to her. Mrs. Temple hesitated a moment before sitting across from them. “Well, what’s this about?” Miranda’s heart pounded. She clenched her hands, her fingernails digging crescents into her palms. “Nearly ten years ago, my father died. He was Uncle Vince’s brother.” Mrs. Temple nodded. “Phillip. Yes, I’ve heard about him.” Miranda’s eyes watered at the sound of her father’s name. She swallowed. “Yes, Phillip. He died in a car accident. He was on his way to confront Uncle Vince.” Across the neighborhood a dog barked, breaking the silence that followed. Finally, Mrs. Temple responded, “Confront him about what?” “He molested my sister.” Cassie blurted out. Mrs. Temple lurched back as if trying to physically reject Cassie’s words. She stared out into the yard, her face draining of color. After a moment, she whispered, “Are you going to press charges?” “I wish I could,” Miranda said. Narrowing her eyes, Mrs. Temple crossed her arms. “I don’t believe you. Tell me the real reason you’re here. Money?” A laugh nearly bubbled out of Miranda’s throat at the absurdity of the question. Was she crazy? “Yeah right! Like I’d drive my butt all the way down here and pour out my heart for money. I’m trying to save you heartache! Save your daughter’s innocence.” Fury started to rise in her and she scooted to the edge of her seat. “I can’t even believe you’d say that! If you think we’d come all this way for no reason, you’re crazy.” Cassie glanced at her sister. “Calm down, Miranda.” “Well, you just can’t think I’m going to believe such a horrible story about my husband?” Mrs. Temple continued. “There’s more, so much more,” Cassie began. Mrs. Temple stood and paced around the fire pit. She rubbed her temple then stared with red-rimmed eyes at Miranda. “What am I supposed to do now? Just take your word for it?” “We know this is shocking. But we aren’t making it up. We’re telling you so that

you can keep your daughter safe. That’s my only motive,” Miranda said. Mrs. Temple paused in her pacing and sat back in her chair. Her pale hand gripped her thin leg. “Charlotte just returned from her Dad’s. Vince and I have only been married a month. What am I going to do?” she said, half to herself. A car pulled into the driveway. Mrs. Temple jerked her head up at the sound. “He’s home,” she said. Miranda felt fear like ice water flood through her veins. Suddenly she was dizzy. Cassie reached over and grabbed the corner of her shirt, giving it a tug. “Do your weird relax-breathing thing,” she advised. “You’re okay. I’m right here with you.” Drawing air slowly through her nose, Miranda held it for the count of four, then exhaled slowly through her mouth. Just got to get through this. Do it for Charlotte. Stand up for both of us now. The front door opened and they could hear him calling through the house. “Honey? Where are you?” Mrs. Temple cleared her throat. Her first word came out with a croak. “I—I’m out here.” After a few moments the back door opened. Uncle Vince. His dark hair flecked with grey, he smiled at the sight of his wife. He glanced at the sisters, not recognizing them. His gaze sharpened. “What’s this about?” “These are your nieces.” Mrs. Temple indicated the sisters with her hand. The silence between the four adults intensified. Vince looked at his wife again, before loosening his tie. “Why don’t we go inside for a moment?” Mrs. Temple’s thin shoulders slumped in indecision. Her hand fluttered at her neck and tugged at the front of her blouse. “Maybe you should join us out here?” Vince paused before continuing out onto the patio. His blue eyes stabbed at each girl. “Long time, no see,” he finally said. Miranda could see him fighting to be casual. His eyes held a multitude of questions. “Not sure why you’re back, since you girls decided to run away.” “You know why we ran,” Miranda countered. His steely gaze held hers, and he clenched his jaw. “Go inside now, Judith.” “No, I’m actually quite comfortable,” his wife said. “Well,” Cassie said brightly. “What a lovely reunion. You look great, Uncle Vince. Just like an unconvicted molester. Any new victims we should know about?” Several seconds passed while his face flushed purple with anger. “Get out of here. Get out now,” he ordered, his finger jabbing towards the front yard. “I’ll call the cops.” “You do that. You might get more than you bargained for,” Miranda added. His mouth gaped open and closed like a goldfish, before spinning to his wife. “I don’t know what they’re talking about,” he said. “Well, I think I’ve heard enough,” Judith murmured. “You never heard my side?” he countered.

“There’s a side? A side to what? To not telling me you had two nieces who ran away?” She crossed her arms and stood to face him. “You’re the one who needs to leave. Now.” Miranda’s eyes widened. No don’t do that! He has to stay here. She flung her sister a worried look. Cassie mouthed back, Don’t worry. “Let me talk to you,” Vince wheedled. “There’s nothing to talk about.” Judith reached into her front pocket and pulled out her cell phone. “I want you gone now. I need to talk with Charlotte. If I find out that you touched her.…” “Come on, it was a one time deal,” he tried to explain. “I was drunk. I don’t even remember it.” “You are a liar.” Miranda pointed at him. “You were sober. Like that even matters.” He reached over and grabbed her arm to bodily escort her off his property, his fingers digging into her flesh. “What have you done?” he hissed. She stomped on the top of his instep with her high heel. He flew back in pain. “Don’t you ever touch me again.” Miranda’s eyes sparked with anger. Cassie jerked her head up in the direction of the street, and a smile stretched across her face. “They’re here.” The front yard flashed with blue and red lights. Car doors slammed, followed by fists pounding on the front door. “We’re in the back yard!” Cassie yelled. The garden gate opened and three police officers streamed in. Leading them was Detective Ramsey. His eyes zeroed in on Vince, and he pulled out his badge. “Vince Temple? We have a warrant for your arrest.” Then, glancing at Miranda, “You okay?” She nodded. Vince stared goggle-eyed at the badge. “You can’t arrest me with what they’re saying. I know my rights.” “What were they saying?” Detective Ramsey’s brows knit together in pretend confusion. “I’m here based on your online activity. We received an anonymous tip resulting in a search warrant. We’ll be confiscating your computer, among other things.” Vince’s face drained of color. An officer with cropped red hair rotated him and cuffed his hands. “Judith! Don’t listen to them!” Vince called, talking over the officer reading him his rights. “This is all a conspiracy. Call my lawyer right now.” “Come on. Let’s go.” The redheaded officer led Vince to his patrol car. Placing his hand on Vince’s head, he steered him into the back seat. Judith watched with her hand clutched over her mouth. She looked wild-eyed at Miranda. “What am I going to do?” Cassie walked over. “You’re going to be okay. Thank God you know about this now.”

Judith nodded and closed her eyes. “I’ve got to go pick up Charlotte from dance.” “Maybe have someone else get her so you have time to figure out the next step,” Miranda suggested. “I know you’re worried, but this is going to work out.” “I never even suspected.…” Judith sank to a chair. She reached for her phone and arranged for her daughter to go home with a friend. Two officers came out of the house, one carrying a hard drive and the other a laptop labeled as evidence. “I have a feeling what we’re going to find on that computer is going to keep him locked away for a long time.” Detective Ramsey stood next to them like a barrel, the bullet proof vest adding a stiff layer to his already rotund frame. He glanced at the sisters. “You two did good. I’m impressed. And as for you,” he pointed a finger at Cassie. “You might consider becoming an investigator. That was amazing sleuth work.” “Anything for my sister,” Cassie said, giving Miranda a big hug. “She’s the real hero here.” Miranda felt the sting of tears as she closed her eyes. As the police car carried Vince away, she took a deep breath and smiled.

Chapter Twenty-One

AUTUMN

T he next day Miranda followed Cassie home in a two car caravan. They’d tossed

around the idea of getting another hotel, but in the end decided to drive the six hundred miles straight through. “I just want to get my dog back from Doug and sleep in my own bed,” Miranda had explained. Cassie agreed. “Okay, but we have to stop at Madras on our way back.” “Why…?” “River Phoenix was born there! I have to check it out.” Miranda laughed. “You got it. By the way, how the heck did you find that out about Vince?” “The internet footprint.” “Huh?” Cassie sighed. “Everyone leaves a trail on the internet. Vince didn’t take care of his. I tracked him through dating sites, porn sites and eventually caught up with people who knew him. I was waiting to hear back when you left for his house. They confirmed what I already suspected.” She arched her eyebrow. “I don’t want to know.” “All you need to know is that he’s going to pay for his crimes for a long, long time.” Once home, Miranda lay on the floor in relief. Archer nuzzled her cheek with his wet nose, so she pulled him down and wrapped her arms around him. “Did you miss me? You’re such a good dog. I’ve missed you, ol'boy.” She snuggled into his fur before leaning up on one elbow. “We kicked butt, Archer. The good won. The bad are done.” Miranda hugged him again as satisfaction radiated through her. She felt free. Standing, she stretched her back and smiled. “We freaking did it,” she whispered under her breath. “You talking to yourself again?” Cassie hollered from the kitchen. Miranda groaned. When was she ever going to break that habit? Probably never, she decided and yelled back. “Yes, I am! And I may for the rest of my life, so get used to it.” “Okay, weirdo,” Cassie called. Miranda grinned. She trundled upstairs to the shower, relishing the scent of her

mango soap, shampoos and Downy-soft towels. Swooping her hair in a towel, she got dressed in her work out gear and quickly applied a mud mask. What she wouldn’t give for her sister’s creamy complexion. She gave a little side dance, swept along by an undercurrent of glee thrumming inside of her. A huge weight had lifted off her shoulders, and she felt lighter than she’d felt in years. She’d finally found her voice. Miranda skipped back down the stairs, the wood treads cool beneath her bare feet. In the kitchen, Cassie sat in front of the laptop holding a cup of tea. She looked up, before grabbing at her heart in exaggeration. “Sheesh! You gotta warn a person before you come wandering in like a swamp monster.” Miranda stuck out her tongue. “Ahh, there’s the mature sister I’ve come to know and love. You want some tea? The water’s still hot in the kettle.” Miranda grabbed her blue mug and dropped in a teabag. After filling the cup, she wandered over to the stack of mail gathered at the end of the counter and rifled through the letters. Mmmm. She breathed in the cinnamon scent and took a sip. “Bill. Bill. Bill,” she said in a monotone. Wait. Miranda paused at a creamy envelope. What’s this? She pulled a letter from the stack with a return address from James Ashbach Esq. What the heck? It was addressed to Jason. The familiar stab of pain pierced her heart at the sight of his name, quickly followed by a wave of anger at his abandonment. She hesitated for a moment, tapping the envelope against her hand. Cassie looked up at the noise. “What is it?” “Jason’s got a weird letter.” Miranda read the return address. “It’s from some law firm.” “What?” Cassie asked in disbelief. “Let me see that.” Miranda passed over the envelope and grabbed her phone. She quickly texted. — Hey, you got an important letter, just letting you know. Pressing send, she sighed. Jason hadn’t responded to any of her texts. It would be surprising if he did now. She turned around to see Cassie holding the envelope up to the light. Next to her the burner under the teakettle glowed red, and the water began to steam again. Miranda snatched the letter from her sister’s hand. “Forget about it.” “What? Why?” “Two reasons: None of our business and Federal offense.” “Party pooper.” Rolling her eyes, Miranda headed back upstairs, first stopping to grab a washcloth from the linen closet. She wandered into the bathroom to clean off the mask. Her phone dinged. Leaning up from the sink, she stared at it like it was a snake. On the phone's screen, Jason's text read:—How are you? Her mouth fell open. What? So casual? Furiously, she pressed the keys.—I’ve texted you a thousand times. You’ve never answered back before now. Three dots wavered across the bottom, showing he was responding. Finally: —A

lot’s been happening. She frowned and typed. —Like what? What could be so important that you couldn’t answer my texts. And cause me so much pain, she added silently. —Are you with Dylan? —What’s that got to do with anything? —Never mind. So you have something for me? —Yeah a letter. —I’ll be by tomorrow. Miranda’s heart sped up at his words. He’s coming over. She let out a deep breath as the crazy emotions continued to twist inside. Play it cool. She texted back. —Okay, someone will be home More dots showed. Then: —Can I take you to lunch so we can talk? She bit her bottom lip. Yes! No! Jason, you’re a crazy mind-trip. Miranda stood and paced the room. This was what she wanted, right? This was why she’d texted him to begin with. She thought about how he’d mentioned Dylan again. Frustration rose up inside of her. He was so freaking jealous. Would he ever listen to her? Leaving the phone on the bed, she ran downstairs to find her sister. “Cassie!” “For crying out loud, what?” her sister yelled in an aggravated voice. Whipping around the corner, Miranda found that Cassie had moved to the other end of the counter. The envelopes were strewn in front of her. Her sister was holding one, her face pink. “You said bills, and you weren’t lying,” she said as Miranda closed the space between them. “This is a nightmare. I need a calculator.” “What are you doing?” “Trying to figure out how to pay these blood suckers. I swear they are multiplying and having babies in the dark, because there’s more hospital bills here now than there were last night.” Miranda’s gaze swept across the counter. “Need help?” Cassie frowned. “How much money do you have?” “Not a lot. How much do you owe?” “Let’s just say there’s lots of zeros in the number, matching the zero in my checkbook.” Cassie grabbed her checkbook and squinted at her register, before picking up the next bill. “I mean really? Three thousand dollars for an x-ray?” Cassie threw the bill down and stood. “I feel like I’m being punked.” “Sorry, Chickee. I’ll help you somehow.” “It’s okay, I’ll figure it out. Anyway, what were you freaking out about?” “Oh,” Miranda paused. “Jason texted me.” “He did!” Cassie smiled. “Finally! What a little creep.” “Yeah. He asked if he could come over so we could talk.” “What did you say?” Miranda pulled at a loose thread on the seam of her shirt. “I haven’t answered yet.” She wound the thread around her finger and pulled. The seam came undone at

her tug. “Lovely,” she muttered. “Why’d you do that?” Cassie asked with a smirk. “Like I meant to!” “So what are you going to say?” “I don’t know. That’s why I came down to talk to you.” “Go say yes!” “Why? He’s been gone for three months.” “You were gone for almost two years.” That hurt, and Miranda cringed. She took a deep breath. “That’s true, but this is the second time he’s left. Is he just going to keep leaving every time things get hard?” “Maybe he’s going through a mid-life crisis.” Miranda snorted. “He’s twenty-four.” “I don’t know. I just know he’s always been there for me. He didn’t start acting like a fruit loop until you came back last year.” Miranda crossed her arms. “Excuse me? Are you blaming this on me?” Cassie rolled her eyes. “No! But he obviously has unresolved stuff he needs to deal with. Somehow you’re involved.” She waggled her finger at Miranda. “But just because you might have triggered it does not make this your fault.” Walking over to the fridge, she grabbed an apple out of the bin and inspected it. After a quick polish on her t-shirt, she took a bite. “Anyway, I’d say yes if I were you.” Miranda stared at her for a second, then sprinted back to her room. She grabbed the phone and checked for new messages. Just his, with the question mark. She texted back. —Okay. —Great. See you at 7 She frowned when she read it. —At seven? What happened to lunch? —Plans changed Huh? She texted back. —Plans change in ten minutes? His text was immediate. —Yeah. And wear those shoes I like. Her mouth dropped open. Wear the shoes he likes? He doesn’t contact me for three months and then tells me what shoes to wear? I’ll show him where he can put those shoes. Her lip turned up in a smirk. —Don’t think I have them any more. —I think you do. —Nope, gave them to the Goodwill —You always were a bad liar. “Oh really?” Her eyebrows arched as her fingers flew: —I wouldn’t wear those shoes again if I had to cross a bed of coals and they were the last pair I owned. Smiling, she sent the text and tossed the phone on the bed. “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” Miranda strode over to the dresser to grab the brush. What was she doing? Getting into an argument over shoes? What was wrong with her? “You’re acting like a twelve year old,” she told her reflection, yanking the brush through her wet hair and pulling it into a ponytail. “I’m going

for a jog.” On the bed, the phone dinged again. She glanced at it a moment, found her sneakers and slammed the door.

Chapter Twenty-Two

AUTUMN

T he drama about the shoes faded by the next day as butterflies took over her

stomach. Miranda flew around her room searching for her scarf. Why am I so nervous? It’s just Jason. “Maybe not seeing him in three months is why you’re nervous,” she muttered. “Now, where is my lipstick?” She leaned close to the mirror, dabbed at her lips with the glossy pink tube and rubbed them together. At the last second her eye caught a jewelry box. Inside was a tiny pearl hanging from a silver chain, a birthday present from Jason. She bit her lip in indecision, then clasped the chain around her neck. The pendant glowed against the black neckline of her dress, and she touched it with a smile. “Okay, got to get moving.” Miranda whirled around. “Shoes, shoes, shoes.” She cast a look around for her ankle strap heels. Her heart beat like a pair of castanets. Should I wear the shoes he wants? Miranda smoothed down her black thigh-high dress and frowned with indecision. Am I overdressed? He’s probably planning on taking me to Fry Guys. She groaned. “I swear, I get it wrong every time.” In a frantic scrabble, she began yanking out all her shoes from the closet in search for his favorites. “Stupid shoes, where the flip are you?” “Stop being so negative,” Cassie called from the doorway. Miranda stared up at her, hair in her eyes. She blew it back. “I’m not being negative. For crying out loud, run down stairs. He might be here already!” “He’s not. I didn’t hear his truck.” Cassie eyed her sister’s room, destroyed with scattered clothing and shoes. “Wow. You really are stressed. Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.” “I’m not stressed. I’m just trying to be prepared.” “Prepared for what? It’s not like you’re going out to dinner with a Sasquatch or something. It’s Jason. Hello, you’ve seen him a few times.” Cassie winked at her. “I mean he’s still coming around after seeing you dressed in your Where’s Waldo outfit.” “I liked that shirt!” Miranda grabbed the nearest thing at hand and threw it in her direction. Cassie laughed as the slipper bounced harmlessly off the doorframe. “You should wear it tonight!” she teased. “Red stripes make you look hot.”

“Whatever, even your famous movie stars like stripes.” “Puh-lease.” “Yeah? Well, what about that one actress with the little mocking bird who wore them for her magazine cover?” “Jennifer Lawrence? Only the most awesomest actress on the planet. You don’t remember her name?” Cassie rolled her eyes. “You are such a dork. And she did not.” Miranda started to say more, when she noticed Archer stand from under a slew of dresses, his ears alert. She ran to the window to look outside. Headlights wove down the driveway. What the heck? Who’s this? It definitely wasn’t Jason’s truck. Frowning, she lifted the curtain higher to get a better glimpse. The car’s engine had a beautiful deep rumble. At each of the potholes it slowed and cautiously eased over them. Miranda stared, lips parting slightly. It approached a particularly deep one but seemed to anticipate its location, deftly swerving around it. The car rolled to a smooth stop in front of the house. The headlights flipped off. A second later the driver’s side door opened and a tall man stepped out. The darkness made his features indistinguishable, but he was dressed to the nines. Slowly, he looked out to the lake and buttoned his jacket. His face was hidden in shadows as he turned to glance at the house. Unexpectedly, his gaze snapped up towards the upstairs window. Jason. Miranda sucked in her breath and let the curtain drop. What in the—? Warmth filled her cheeks at being caught peeping. A minute later the front door opened, and Cassie squealed, “Jason!” Archer raced down the stairs, his loud barks shutting down any conversation. Miranda stood frozen by her bed before grabbing the first pair of shoes she could find and hurrying to greet him. Jason was down on one knee with his arm wrapped around Archer. “Hey ol'boy. How you doing, huh?” He scratched the dog’s neck, his eyes wet with tears. Miranda paused at the bottom of the stairs, absorbing the scene. Slowly, Jason stood as he caught sight of her. He pulled at his cuffs again and then nodded in her direction. “Hi, Miranda. You look nice tonight.” She didn’t feel like she looked nice, especially since she’d rushed out of the room before a final “All clear” in front of the mirror. Anxiously, Miranda patted at her hair and a zing of anxiety zipped through her. Ah! It’s doing its crazy thing! She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “Thank you.” Forcing her tone to sound confident, she slipped on her heels and walked over to him, taking in his dark suit and flashy tie. “I wasn’t sure if I’d be overdressed but I guess I’m not.” He glanced down at his clothing, the corner of his mouth curving in a selfdeprecating grin, then raised his green eyes to study her again.

His face was clean-shaven. When had she ever seen him like that? He almost always wore a thick five o’clock stubble. Her eyes widened as she realized his hair was short too, and he’d tamed the usually thick unruly wave in front. What in the world? Even his eyebrows had been groomed. Unconsciously, she lifted a hand and touched her own brows. Good grief, I forgot to check mine. He’s in better shape than me tonight. She bit her lip and said. “Jason, you look so… different.” He held out his hand to her, the nails clean and filed short. She suppressed a shiver at the touch. His hand was soft, his scent foreign. Miranda’s breath caught. What on earth is going on? She pulled her hand away. “Let me get your letter.” “It can wait.” “No, I’ll be right back,” she said and went to retrieve it. She ran from the room, her thoughts reeling. What’s he playing here? It’s like he's morphed into some weird version of Dylan. She chewed on her thumbnail, thinking quickly. Fake it. Pretend everything is normal. Maybe he’s trying to impress me. She scooped the letter off the counter and hurried back. Jason stuck the envelope inside the front of his jacket without a look. Miranda’s forehead crinkled in puzzlement. “I already know what it says.” He answered her unasked question. “Oh? Why did you come then?” “I wanted to see you.” Miranda felt her cheeks color. Walking to the coat rack, Jason casually pulled down her grey wool jacket and held it out. “Thank you,” she said as she slid her arms into it. “So where are we off to tonight?” “I have a few surprises.” He grinned. His lip caught on his crooked tooth and she exhaled in relief. There he was, his beautiful smile. “You kids be good,” Cassie admonished. “Shake that finger at me again—” Miranda warned with a scowl. Cassie laughed as she shut the door behind them. Jason offered his arm. As Miranda took it, a shiver ran through her at the unfamiliar feel of the expensive fabric. Her stomach swirled. Who is this person?

Chapter Twenty-Three

AUTUMN

T he red Porsche glistened like a drop of blood in the moonlight. Miranda stopped

in her tracks, remembering his car. “Jason, what’s going on?” He cupped her elbow and guided her to the sports car. “Are you serious? Where’s your big rig?” she asked. “It was time to retire the truck.” Jason opened the passenger door for her. Miranda’s eyes widened as she slid into the car; the rich leather smell was overpowering. She ran her fingers along the dashboard as Jason quickly climbed into the driver’s seat. “How can you afford this?” Her eyes were loaded with questions. “Well.” He gave his half-smile. “It has to do with this letter.” He pulled it from his jacket and set it on the dash. She eyed it suspiciously. “That’s not an answer.” “It’s informing me of a very big estate.” He glanced in her direction, his eyes glinting by the lights on the dash. “That I inherited. I found out a couple months ago.” Miranda made a soft noise of shock. “You’re kidding me? That’s incredible.” She looked down at her pinky and curled it, remembering when he’d linked his through hers. A lump rose in her throat that he hadn’t shared that moment with her. Jason watched her from the corner of his eye. “You’ve been anticipating telling me that for a while, haven’t you.” “How can you tell?” “You look like Archer did the night he broke into his new box of dog biscuits.” Jason licked the corner of his lip and nodded. “Yeah, you could say that.” After turning the ignition he rumbled up to the end of the driveway. “You ready?” he asked. Before she could respond, he sped out into the road, the tires squealing against the driveway. She immediately thought of Dylan and couldn’t shake away the new similarities between the two men. This is weird. “So where are we going?” “Like I said, it’s a surprise.” “I don’t know if I can handle any more.” She studied him closely, worried, before trying to cover with a smile. “I don’t understand what’s going on with you.”

“What do you mean?” He eyed the rear view mirror before merging into traffic. Shifting again, he began to zigzag around cars. Sighing, she tried again. “It’s been three months. I’m going to be honest. I want to hug you and smack you at the same time. You totally crushed me by not answering my texts. I don’t understand why you’re back. Why now, Jason?” “I’ve missed you.” “Why haven’t you contacted me sooner? Especially in light of all this.” she waved her hand around referring to the car. He shifted again, his lips pressed together. “I didn’t feel like it was right to barge back in. Especially since….” “Since what, Jason? I haven’t developed any sweet mind reader skills since you’ve been gone.” “I wasn’t sure if you were seeing that guy.” “That guy?” “You know who I mean.” His voice lowered into a growl. “You mean Dylan. Yes, I see him. I work with him, remember?” She crossed her arms over her chest. He better not be going down that road again. “Again, you know what I mean.” “I don’t know how that matters. It’s not as though we’re together.” Frustration bubbled through her. Jason took an exit and they drove through the city in silence. Miranda stared out the window as the city’s lights flashed by. He stopped at a red light, the glow playing over his smooth face. “Miranda, I didn’t leave you because I wanted to. I left because I knew he could take care of you.” “Not this again.” The light turned green. “But, I can take care of you now.” Miranda rolled her eyes. “I’m not some homeless dog at the pound. I don’t need anyone—not you, not Dylan—to take care of me.” Jason swerved into the nearest parking lot and stopped the car. He reached for her hand. “Look at me. You were the first person I thought of when I got the news. That I could finally be the person you deserved and have a real chance with you.” His eyes shone with sincerity. She studied him, her gaze running over the smooth planes of his square jaw and cheekbones. Her stomach fluttered. Jason’s shaved face was both unnerving and exciting; familiarity mixed with the unknown. “You already were that person, you dork.” Reaching out, he stroked the back of her neck. “I forgot how much I’ve missed your sexy talk.” “I don’t know how you could. I include that on my girlfriend resume.” She shifted back in her seat and felt her defenses thaw. I can at least hear what he has to say. She eyed him again. I can’t believe how much I missed him. “So where are we going anyway, Mr. Moneybags?” He threw the car back into gear and sped out onto the road. “You still aren’t a

good listener, though. I told you it was a surprise.” “Keep it to yourself then. I’ve got some news, too.” “Oh yeah?” “Cassie got contacted by Jessica, our old neighbor from when we were kids. She asked why we weren’t at our uncle’s wedding.” Jason shifted again. “Wow. The infamous uncle?” “Yeah. Long story short, Cassie ended up doing some research on him. He’s facing some major Federal charges right now.” “Wow. How do you feel about that?” “I feel like justice has been served. There was a part of me that always felt like a little girl. I don’t know, like it was still caught in that time of my life. It’s not there any more. I feel whole for the first time in a long time.” “Good for you,” Jason nodded. “You deserve that. I guess we’ve both grown up. I feel different, too.” “Yeah, it shows!” “It’s been pretty nice. Going to try being a rich man for a while.” Miranda nodded, but thought, “Why not just be you?” She wondered what else he had rejected about who he was. Fifteen minutes later he pulled into the Red Dragon. Miranda’s stomach fell. She’d had an awkward dinner there with Dylan last week. The restaurant’s atmosphere had been stiff and uncomfortable. Dylan had yelled at the waiter for serving cold food and sent it all back, despite her protests. It was the first time she’d seen him be rude. No please, not here. They might remember me! She glanced over at Jason. How can he like this snooty place? “Have you ever been here before?” “Yeah, I come here all the time,” he said and quickly climbed out of the car. Unhooking her seatbelt, she felt a pang of uncertainty. Was this part of the change he’d warned about? Buttoning his coat, he came around to her side and opened the door. Miranda hesitated before getting out. “Let’s not eat here.” She reached for his hand with a gentle smile. “Why not?” His hand stayed on the car door as he glanced towards the entrance. “Let’s go to the steak house instead. Red Dragon is not really our kind of place.” He took a step away and lifted his chin. “It’s my kind of place now. Come on.” Something shifted inside of her at his insistence, and her guard went way up. I don’t think he knows himself anymore. She sighed, and followed him inside. Miranda ducked her head, hoping the host wouldn’t recognize her as they were seated. On the way to the table, several women ran their eyes over her, obviously disapproving her outfit. Her face heated at the sight of their designer clothes and the blatant judgment. Jason moved ahead briskly, shoulders squared. He pulled out her chair and leaned over to whisper. “We need to get you some better things.” Miranda pulled away, stung. She felt raw and exposed, and hid her tears with a quick sip from her water. This is his new improved version? Yet, it serves me right

for always picking on his holey t-shirts. Taking a deep breath, she tried to smile around the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were bringing me here or I would have worn something different. That’s the bad part of surprises.” He winked. “You’re still beautiful.” Miranda lifted her menu, her mind reeling. Still? Anger was quickly supplanting the hurt feelings. “At least let me upgrade that necklace.” His gaze darted around the room at the other women’s diamonds. “Kind of makes me look cheap.” Unconsciously her hand went to the pearl. “What are you really saying? It makes you look cheap? Or me?” “Don’t be so sensitive. I just want you to have the best.” She stared at him for a second. “Maybe this is too much for our first time together. A lot’s happened that we need to sort out. We really need to go someplace quiet and talk.” “Miranda,” he sighed. “I’m really not in the same place as I was when I left, and I don’t want to rehash it all. For the first time ever, I get that new beginning. Now take the leap with me. Let’s just move forward.” “What? We’re not going to talk about it?” “Listen, I’ll say I’m sorry if it will get you to feel better. Now can we leave it alone and just have a nice time?” He smiled. “I’ve been dreaming about this night for a while now.” Why does he have such a big wall up? All of her unanswered questions swirled around inside. She quickly returned to her menu to hide her frustration, and scanned the list. “What’s this?” Wrinkling her forehead she sounded it out. “Edamomee.” “It’s pronounced Edamame.” His lip curled on one side and he laughed. Miranda shut her menu. “You know, I’m actually not feeling well. Can you take me home? Actually, never mind, I’ll call Cassie.” “What? Aww, no, I’m sorry.” She gathered her purse and stood up. “It’s fine. I just need to get home. I’ve got work tomorrow and all.” His face flooded with a hurt expression as he set the napkin down on the table. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to treat you.” Miranda’s heart wrung at the expression on his face. Why does he have to look at me like that? She felt herself soften. “Hun, Outback Steak house is a treat. This here,” she indicated with a small wave of her finger. “This to me is work. Work at acting like someone I’m not.” “I’m tired of the Outback. This is where I want to be. This place. I told you I’ve changed. The old Jason is dead and he’s never coming back. Do you understand?” His voice lowered at the last few words, sounding defensive. “Fine. Enjoy your time.” Miranda pulled out her phone and dialed Cassie as she walked towards the entrance. Jason muttered a curse and quickly followed. The maître d’ opened the door and

she stormed through. Jason picked up their jackets and hurried after her. He caught up to her at the corner. She was shivering, her breath coming out in white clouds. “Here,” he said, handing her the jacket. She shrugged into it without making eye contact. Jason stood by her side and chewed his cheek. “I don’t know what you want me to do,” he finally said. “Why are you being so resistant? I want you to step into this new life with me.” Miranda spun around, frustrated. A car drove by, and she scooted back as its tires splashed through a puddle. “Why is it okay for Dylan to have money but not me?” “This isn’t about money. If I was all about the money then I’d be with Dylan. This is about you being you. Dude, we jumped trains together. Where is that person now?” “Change is good. I was a loser before, going nowhere.” He pulled his cuffs down and straightened the front of his black jacket. “I’m moving up now.” “You weren’t a loser to me,” Miranda said, her eyes downcast. “It feels like you’re trying to keep me in my place.” Jason crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m finally getting ahead, making a life for myself.…” He trailed off at Miranda’s open mouth stare. “What the heck is wrong with you? I’d never hold you back. You were always good enough.” “Oh, yeah? I knew as soon as Dylan came around I was going to lose you.” “You weren’t going to lose me.” She cut him off. “That was all in your head.” “I saw how you looked at him.” “We were just friends.” She clenched her hands and took a deep breath to calm herself. “Yeah,” he cocked his eyebrow and studied her. “What are you now?” “What—I—we.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” “You walked out, Jason. Again!” she yelled. The valet glanced up from the entrance and stared in their direction, but she didn’t care. Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes. How dare he turn this around on me? None of this would have happened if Jason hadn’t abandoned me. He’d practically pushed me into Dylan’s arms. “It just goes to show what you really want.” “Oh my friggin’ word, Jason. You’re tripping, dude. All I wanted was a best friend who would hold me when I was hurting and encourage me when I was feeling insecure. Someone who would allow me to do the same for them. I wanted a partner in crime. Bonnie and Clyde.” Jason faced ahead, blank-faced. Miranda rolled her eyes and stared back up the road. Finally, familiar headlights appeared. She waved her arm so that Cassie would see her. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.” Then she ran to meet her sister’s car.

Chapter Twenty-Four

AUTUMN

M iranda stood by the window and stared out into the parking lot. Leaves gathered

in wet piles from the early morning rain. Autumn had officially hit, bringing with it grey skies and pumpkin everything exploding from the coffee stands. She tucked her sweater around her a little tighter and sighed. What happened last night? Miranda rubbed her temple where a throbbing pain warned of an impending headache, and slowly meandered back to her desk. “Hard night?” Claudia asked. Her hand reached to adjust her signature necklace —a jade medallion—to make sure it was hanging straight. “You have no idea.” She swallowed a couple aspirin and squinted at Claudia. “I’ll never understand men. I’m about this close to becoming a nun,” she said, holding her thumb and index finger a fraction a part. Claudia snorted. “You and me both, honey. Of course, I have about as much chance of becoming a nun as a pig can fly. And as for you, well, I’ll believe it when it happens.” She pointed her pen at the parking lot. “Especially since one of your Prince Charmings just showed up.” Miranda rose in her seat to peek out the window. Oh no, no, no. Wearing a determined frown, Jason marched up to the front door and yanked it open. Miranda quickly sat in front of her computer in an attempt to appear busy, knocking over a jar of pens in the process. She bit back a groan. I’ll pick them as soon as he leaves. Nervousness tickled the back of her throat, making her want to cough. “Hey,” Jason said, his gaze crossing over Claudia briefly before zeroing in on Miranda. He walked to the counter. She felt his presence like heat and tried to ignore him. “So.” He tapped the top of the counter like a drum with both of his hands. “You never answered my texts.” Miranda stiffened at the loud sound he was making. Lifting her gaze, she smiled briefly, before settling back to the computer screen. “Shhhh, Jason. I can’t talk right now. I’m working.” “I see that,” he answered. He winced at the sound of the dentist’s drill squealing from the back room. “And I still feel sorry for you.”

“Jason, maybe we can talk later.” Her lips pressed tight in a smile. “Unless you’d like to make an appointment.” She took in his dark hair plastered back on his head. Ay yi yi yi. Miranda shook her head. He studied her thoughtfully. “When are you off for lunch?” “Why?” “Listen, I know last night was a disaster. Let me make it up to you. Come on, one more chance.” Miranda squinted at the clock at the bottom of her computer. “Not for another forty minutes.” “Okay.” He nodded and slapped the counter one last time. “I’ll wait.” “You’re going to wait here?” She stared at him nonplussed. “Yeah, I’ll wait. We’ve got some talking to do.” A zing of hope flew through her. Finally, he wants to talk. Claudia hung up the phone and watched the two of them. “Well, hello there, stranger. Look at you, blowing into town like a no-good wind.” He looked askance at her comment and answered, “Had to tie up some legal issues.” “How weird.” Miranda raised an eyebrow. “That’s not how I remember it.” Jason let out a heavy sigh. “We’ll talk about it over lunch,” he said. “Not here.” His voice deepened, almost like a warning. “Ooh, somebody has a brand new attitude to match his spiffy duds.” Claudia crossed her arms to watch. Jason ignored her and unbuttoned his jacket to sit. He pulled out his phone and settled in for a long wait. Miranda watched him for a moment. It was like his doppelgänger stepped out of an episode of the Twilight Zone. Was he kidding with this new professional appearance? Any second she expected Jason to look over at her with his adorable half-grin, muss up his hair, and rip open his expensive sports coat to reveal a torn t-shirt. Jason crossed his legs, resting an expensive leather dress shoe across his pleated trousers. She frowned unhappily before going back to work. Claudia leaned over. “You okay?” Miranda nodded weakly. “That boy sure came back with a new attitude. And is that his car out front?” Claudia jabbed a pointed nail in the direction of the parking lot. “Yep,” Miranda answered dryly, digging her hand through her thick mane of hair. “My, my, my. You do have your hands full.” She lowered her voice. “Does he have a new girl to match or is he back to chasing after you?” “He’s like a yo-yo. I don’t know what he’s doing.” “And do you want a yo-yo like him?” Claudia rose up to peer over the counter and studied him again. “He seems pretty confused to me.” Miranda rubbed a knot of tension out of her brow. “I don’t know what I want.” I want my Jason back. His words from last night rang in her head, his face disgusted

as he said, That man is dead and he’s never coming back. “Hmmmm. Sounds like you need to get that figured out, Missy. Why don’t you just finish writing the code for that insurance, then get out of here. Mr. Fancy Pants looks like he has something to say to you.” “Thanks Claudia.” Her gaze flickered back to Jason. Is this going to be a repeat of last night? Frowning, she turned her attention back to her computer screen, her fingers typing furiously. Ugh, huge typo. She deleted her last numbers and redid them. You gotta concentrate here. A few minutes later, she hit save and reached for her purse under the desk. “I’ll be back in an hour,” she said to Claudia, and stood up. “Come on.” She gestured to Jason. Out in the parking lot she paused again. “Jason, I’m serious. This is my job. You can’t act like that here.” He looped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. “I had to see you. I couldn’t take no for an answer.” Miranda’s heart beat quicker at the feel of his arm around her. “Hun, one minute you want me, one minute you don’t.” “I want you. And, I want you to want me.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his chest. His green eyes stared at her intently. She groaned. “Then why do I feel like there’s a huge wall between us?” “There’s no wall. You’re just going to have to get used to the new me.” “Jason, this is me you’re talking to. I know when you’re shutting me out.” “Quit worrying about all that. Do-over, remember? Now, let me do it.” “Do what?” “Spoil you. Let me take care of you.” “Why do you keep saying that? Jason, you’re freaking me out. It’s like you’re trying to prove something.” She pulled her hand away and began button her sweater, shivering in the cold air. He opened his mouth as if to say something then closed it again. Finally he blurted, “I don’t get you, Miranda.” “Get what?” “Nothing. Never mind.” He opened the car door. “Come on, hop in.” “Oh great. Where are we going?” “A surprise.” She sighed. “Really? That didn’t go over so well last night.” Jason smiled and slid behind the steering wheel. “Trust me, you’ll like this one.” What am I getting myself into? She got into the car and braced for his take off. He squealed out of the parking lot, leaving black tire marks. Miranda groaned. “Now what’s the matter?” he asked. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath of air. They drove ten blocks, crossing through the heart of the city. He pulled onto a street known as Auto Row. The corner of his lip raised in a smirk as they pulled onto a luxury car lot.

“I’m scared to ask. Why are we here?” Miranda asked. “I thought I’d get you a new car.” Jason side eyed her. “What? Are you crazy?” Jason laughed. “Come on, baby. Let me do this for you. I want to spoil you.” He looked over and Miranda saw a spark of the old Jason hidden inside his bashful smile. She leaned back against the seat with a fake whimper. “What am I going to do with you? What are you thinking? I don’t need a new car.” He jumped out and ran to her side. Opening the passenger door, he held out his hand. “Just come on, already. This will be fun.” “I have to get back to work in an hour!” Miranda ignored his hand and tried to keep her skirt from riding up as she climbed out. Immediately a well-dressed salesman strolled over to them. A gust of wind blew his tie up over his shoulder. He tucked it back into place and offered his hand to Jason to shake. “Hi there. How can I help you two today?” “I’m here to get my girl a car.” Jason wrapped his arm around Miranda’s shoulders. His girl. We haven’t even had a real conversation yet. Reaching up, she squeezed his hand extra hard and smiled at the salesman. “Well, actually, he’s the one looking.” The salesman quickly dismissed her, focusing on Jason. “Beautiful, blustery day here in the Pacific North West. You watch the Seahawks play?” “Skittles, baby!” The two of them laughed. Clapping Jason on the back, the salesman steered him toward the showroom. Miranda smiled harder and trotted at their heels to keep up. Just keep grinning. Just keep grinning. She stifled a snort at the play on the Finding Nemo song. I’m losing it. For real this time. “So what model are you considering?” “I was thinking of the Mercedes S Class.” “Oh yeah, they’re a beaut.” He took them down to the front of the storeroom where a white Mercedes sat. “Nice, huh?” he asked Jason. “This car is pretty amazing.” Jason’s eyes sparkled with excitement and he rubbed his hands together. “Wow, she sure is.” Then, turning to Miranda: “What do you think? Gorgeous or what?” “Wow, you noticed I’m still here.” She smiled. “Yes, the car’s extremely nice.” The salesman continued, “Well, as with all luxury models, she has a V8, smooth tranny shift, and a deluxe package.” Miranda nodded, having no idea what he was saying. She glanced at her cell phone. “Jason, can we come back another time? My lunch break is almost up.” “In just a minute, Miranda.” Jason hopped into the driver’s seat, a big grin splitting his face as he looked over the dash, playing with all the dials. The salesman handed him the keys. “Want to take it for a spin?” Jason slid the keys in and turned the ignition. The engine hummed to life. He stepped on the gas, laughing at the sheer power. “Wow! What a beautiful car.”

“Zero to sixty in six point three seconds.” The salesman leaned against the roof and peered in at the interior. “I’ll guarantee this car is faster than any cop car out there.” “Wow, Miranda, can you imagine?” Jason exclaimed, his face flushed. Miranda smiled and tried to be excited. “Hop in, babe!” Jason gestured. “You’re going to be a prize sitting in a car like this.” Frustration started to build inside like a rubber band being wound tighter and tighter. “Jason, I love that you want to do this for me. I mean, it’s amazing. But I really can’t do this right now. I have to go back to work.” “In a minute, I said. Now get in here and sit down.” His forehead wrinkled as he glanced up at her. “I mean, check out the leather!” Miranda looked at him instead. “Why are you doing this? I hate to say it, but it’s like you’re trying to buy my affection for abandoning me the last three months.” “You’ve got to get over that.” His eyes were bright as he stroked the driver’s seat, and she felt a pang of sadness. Gone were his ratty shirts and torn jeans. She’d give anything to see them again. To have things back the way they were. “It’s great, Jason, it really is. But I’m not ready to take a gift like this from you yet. Besides, I like my Jeep.” His eyes turned scornful at the mention of her car. “Please, that crappy thing? Let’s get rid of it. It’s time for something new. I’m trying to make you a lady of class, Miranda.” She gasped at the cruelty of his words and spun around, unable to hold the tears back. “I’ll just be over here, if you need me.” The salesman took a few steps away to give them privacy. Jason climbed out of the car and whispered. “What’s the matter with you? You’re making a scene.” Taking a deep breath, she responded in a low voice. “I’m already a lady of class, no matter what I drive.” Jason loosened his silk tie and groaned. “Are you serious? You’re being too sensitive.” She laid her hand on his arm. “Why are you saying this? You never used to care before. Can’t you see that?” He stared at her like she was crazy. “Come on, get in the car! Let's take it for a test drive.” Miranda caught her reflection in the car’s window. Her hair curled in it’s unruly way in the humidity, her face lined with sorrow. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. “Jason, we need to talk.” He rolled his eyes. “What?” “I don’t get why you’re being so insistent about this. We haven’t talked in three months, and I don’t understand why you are pretending nothing has happened, especially after last night. I desperately need to connect with you, really connect

and hear what you’ve gone through. This car feels like another way to shut me out. It’s not real. What we used to have was real. Why aren’t you trying to get back to that?” “Why are you making this into such a big deal? I just want to treat you now that I can finally afford to do nice things.” He cupped her elbow. “Sweetie, listen to me.” Her eyebrows flickered at the use of the word “sweetie.” He’d never called her that before. “Why aren’t you talking to me like normal?” She turned towards him, her voice beseeching. His eyes narrowed even as he ran his hands down her arms. Stepping closer, he pushed her back against the driver’s door. “Why aren’t you listening to me? I want to make you happier than you ever dreamed.” “I don’t think you realize how happy I was,” she whispered. “Happy?” He snorted. “How could you be happy? Every day you’re at someone’s beck and call. You don’t have to work at that measly job any more.” She felt anger simmer inside. “Measly job? Jason, you better be careful.” “I mean it’s menial work. Anybody could do it.” Miranda stiffened. Her forehead slowly rose. “Let’s go outside.” Marching ahead of him, she blasted through the showroom doors and out into the parking lot, before spinning around with her finger pointed. “Excuse me?” “No, I don’t mean it that way. What I mean is….” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “My job might not be rocket science. It might not deserve your respect, but I do take pride in it. I actually do help people.” Her voice was shaking and she struggled to control it. “Working with insurance companies is not easy, and I take stress off of people who are already worried about visiting the dentist.” He stared at her, his face grim. “And furthermore,” Miranda continued, “don’t you remember the pride you used to have? Pulling an engine apart and putting it all back together and having it work better than it did?” Her face was red with anger. “I remember more than once you gleefully telling me you had it purring like a kitten.” “Yeah, well maybe anyone could do that too. I didn’t do anything special.” “What? You think this money makes you special?” Miranda’s forehead creased. Jason rolled his eyes. “Geez, Miranda. People change.” “Are you kidding me?” Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “You went from the most incredible person I ever knew, to someone I don’t even recognize. I’m all about change. But I thought the goal was to change for the better.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared out at the rows of parked cars then snapped his attention back to her, his gaze sharp, angry. “You don’t get it. This was my dream ever since I saw you with those kids at your high school. To be someone other than the drug baby of two loser parents. To count in this world and be a real success.” He shook his head. “No way am I ever going back to the way I was. I’ve been stuck here, in this podunk town, doing the same thing day in and day out,

struggling to survive.” “Well, that’s pretty funny since your struggle to survive sure looked an awful lot like happiness,” Miranda retorted. “You remember those late nights down at the beach? We,” her finger jabbed between the two of them, “were sickening, sappily happy. We probably disgusted other people with our happiness.” She brought her mouth closer, not stopping until her lips were a hair from his. “And you had all of my love and respect.” The last word was a hot breath whispered against his mouth. She drew away before the kiss was completed. He reached out and grabbed her, forcing his mouth against hers. His smooth face was unsettling, his scent different. His hands became more insistent, pulling her to him. She pushed away. “What?” He frowned. “What’s wrong?” “I can’t fake it. You were the most authentic person I ever knew.” She looked at him with despair. “You aren’t you any more.” “Again, Miranda?” “No, you’re—” she waved her hands to indicate his clothing. “You’re different.” “What, my clothing? Now you’re just making excuses.” Her blue eyes caught his and she shook her head. “You need some time to figure things out.” “Run, run as fast as you can,” he taunted. Fury flamed up inside of her. She could barely see as she hurried off the car lot, hair whipping in the wind. Jason watched her walk away. Finally, he yelled, “Miranda, do you want a ride?” She shouted to him as she walked backwards. “You just enjoy being the new improved you. I’ve got to get to work. Call me when you’re ready to really talk.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

WINTER

J ason parked the Porsche in the garage of his house and climbed out. He was

renting while a real estate agent worked to find him his own place. She’d insisted someone of his means should be living the good life in the right neighborhood. A quick tap of the button and the garage door whirred on its tracks as it closed. He glanced around. Everything was sterile. Bare white walls, an empty workbench, tiled floor. During the showing, the realtor had brought him in the garage with a dramatic sweep of her arm and gushed about the benefits of the heated floors, ergonomically-positioned shelves and earthquake-proof green construction walls with designed flexibility, blah blah blah. He’d been impressed at the time. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the memory of the smell of the old barn hit him, and he took a deep breath as if he were standing in the middle of it: clean hay and sunbaked wood. He recalled the way the sun fell on the floor, half-blinding him as he lay on his back under the beater truck. And how whenever he’d stick his head out to grab a wrench, old Archer would be there to greet him with a wet nose. Jason grinned. That freaking dog. I really miss him. That wasn’t all he missed. It had been weeks since the disaster at the car dealership. There’d been a few texts, terse and fake. He’d thrown his phone over the last one she’d sent, feeling cut off from her in a way he’d never felt before. And she said he was the problem. Sighing, he opened the side door into the house, and ran over to key in the alarm code. He glanced around the house, sterile like the garage. How the hell did I let myself get talked into this? The house had come furnished. A white sectional sofa sprawled across the living room floor. The couch was an oddity to him. Never in a million years would he have sat on something so pristine before, as a mechanic— and he could now. The thought was detestable to him. Tall ceilings magnified the echoes of his footsteps on the tile floor as he moved down the hall. He caught the scent of lemon and took a deep breath in, trying to discern the cause. He slumped as he realized it was the cleaning product the

housekeeper used on the floors. Jason didn’t know who the housekeeper was. He’d never seen her. The agency paid her. She appeared when he was gone, leaving the house as sterile and clean as he left it. A hollowness echoed inside of him. He hadn’t felt this lonely since after his grandma died. Lying on the entry table was a small chunk of wood. Jason had found it the day before in the yard, somehow missed by the landscaper. He reached for it now and rolled it in his hands. Absentmindedly he patted his pocket for his knife, before remembering he hadn’t been carrying it anymore. His pants didn’t have those types of pockets. He sighed and dropped the wood back on the table with a clatter. Jason wandered into the kitchen, newly remodeled, the ceiling ornamented with an empty brass pot rack. The drawers and cupboards were empty too, with the exception of a shelf in the pantry jammed with plastic utensils and paper plates. There were two ovens and a walk-in refrigerator. He set the keys on the granite counter and glanced at the stainless steel appliance. Miranda would be lost here. He smiled to himself. He imagined teaching her how to cook on the convection stove, wrapping his arms around her to help stir a pot. His mouth curved as he pictured smelling her neck, kissing the soft skin there. What kind of home could he have without her? A shard of pain drove through him. I cant do this. I’m out of here. He grabbed the keys again and headed back out to his car. Revving the engine, he spun out of the driveway, grinning at the car’s speed. Ten minutes later and he was on the highway. Quickly he worked through the gears. The car was a smooth and hot ride, there was no doubt. Jason exited back towards the city, mulling over the incident at the car dealership. His frown deepened as he thought of the expression she’d given him, a mixture of betrayal and disgust. “What’s wrong with you?” she’d said, flinging those words like rocks at his heart. What is wrong with me? He drove passed the Centennial building and glanced at the statues of lions guarding the steps. His life had changed that day. He’d changed. For nearly his entire life he’d felt like he’d been caught in quick sand, constantly fighting to get his feet on solid ground. Trying to make up for drug-addicted parents. For the last few months he’d thought he’d done that. He thought he finally had it together. He gave up the girl because he didn’t have money. Now he had money and still didn’t have the girl. Slowly, the car rolled to a stop at a red light. “I’ll never understand women,” he mumbled, shaking his head. A teenage girl on the opposite corner caught his eyes. Wearing an oversized sweatshirt and dirty shorts, she waved a cardboard sign. Next to her, a teenage boy sprawled on the ground with his head resting on a backpack. Memories of himself and Miranda at that age gripped him hard. He spun the

steering wheel and swung into the parking lot. The kids watched as he drove slowly past. After parking the car, he strolled over to the two kids. The girl tugged her long shirt down and eyed him nervously. The boy turned his head, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses. “Hey.” Jason waved as he approached. She waggled the sign at him. In crooked print, it read, “Will work for food.” Jason grinned sardonically. “Really? You’ll work for food? Or is this just a pity sign?” “No one’s making you stop, old man,” the boy’s sharp, narrow face scowled and he slowly stood up. “Maybe you should keep going.” “Hey, I’m not here to judge,” Jason said, shrugging. “I was just reading your sign.” The kid lowered his glasses and squinted at Jason over the top of them. “And?” “I’ve been in your spot before, or similar. I know what it’s like.” The kid snorted, and even the girl smiled. “You think you know us, huh?” The teen boy eyed Jason from top to bottom. “You probably never worked a hard day in your life. Your biggest struggle is probably trying to decide between a shirt with an alligator on it, or a little pony.” He spat and loosened up his shoulders. Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Look at you, Mr. Keen Judgment. You have me all wound up in shock and awe with your detective skills.” He bounced back and forth on his toes and studied them. “Thought you guys could use a meal. Guess I was mistaken.” “Yeah. Get out of here. We don’t need your kind of help,” the boy said, settling back and rearranging the pack under his head. “You feel the same way?” Jason asked the girl. “Want a meal?” “I’m.…” She licked her lips and shot a quick glance back at the boy. “I’m feeling pretty hungry.” Jason nodded and indicated the fast food restaurant they were begging in front of. “Let’s go get something to eat then.” Her movements were hesitant, eyes darting between Jason and her friend. She set the sign down, her dirty blonde hair falling like a curtain over her shoulder. “I’ll be right back, Brian.” “Don’t leave with him,” the kid warned. “He touches you and I’ll kill him.” “Why don’t you tag along and make sure she stays safe,” Jason suggested, moving toward the restaurant. The kid sighed and stood, grabbing both packs. “Fine, let's go.” Ten minutes later they were seated on the cold plastic benches at a booth, a tray of burgers between them. The restaurant swam with the scent of grease and coffee. “How long have you guys been out here?” Jason asked, chewing on a mouthful of fries. “What’s it to you?” The kid asked. “You think you can feed us some dollar menu burgers and now we owe you our life story?”

Jason arched his eyebrow but said nothing. The girl bit her lip and looked down at her food. “Let me rephrase that. How can I help?” “You’re helping already, thank you,” the girl said. “My name’s Jason.” He stuck out his hand. The girl glanced at it for a second before slowly reaching out to take it with a slight squeeze. “Julia.” “Nice.” Brian rolled his eyes and slid his sunglasses back down, covering his eyes. “Now you’ve done your good deed for the day. Go back to your Porsche and pat yourself on the back.” “You’ve got a sharp mouth,” Jason said. “Sorry I don’t have manners like you. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon and all that.” The kid crossed his arms and refused to eat. Julia clutched her burger close to her and ate it in nervous bites. The airconditioning kicked on. She shivered and held herself smaller. Her bony wrists poked out from the sweatshirt, pale and vulnerable. Jason winced as he glanced at her. After two seconds of thought, he checked into the front pocket of his sports coat. Empty. He patted the side pockets to be sure they were empty too, then shrugged the jacket off. “Here,” he said, handing it to the girl. “Aw man, she don’t want that,” the kid said, even as Julia reached for the jacket. She stopped and watched Brian, waiting for his answer. “Take it,” Jason said, nodding to her. “Like you said, my good deed for the day.” “Whatever, man,” the kid said. Julia took that as permission and grabbed the coat. She wriggled into it, a smile blossoming over her face at the warmth it held from Jason’s body. “Thanks,” she murmured. Jason stood up. “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.” He nodded at the two of them and headed out the door. An idea was brewing in his mind.

Chapter Twenty-Six

WINTER

T apping his fingers against his leg, Jason sat in the passenger seat as the real

estate agent turned her sleek Mercedes down the dark street. The sky was moonless and the buildings shrouded in inky black shadows. Nearly all the properties along this stretch of the road had been abandoned or appeared that way. Half of the streetlights had burned out, and the one at the far end flickered ominously. “Enchanting neighborhood,” she muttered under her breath. “What, Valerie?” Jason asked. “I just—You sure about this?” she asked him again for the twentieth time. “Yeah.” He unhooked the seatbelt and leaned forward with anticipation as the building approached. “Okay.” Valerie nodded grimly. Carefully, she pulled the car over to the curb, its shiny fender reflecting the abandoned building before them. Jason stared up at the brick structure. His hair fell in his eyes and he pushed it away impatiently. It had been a while since his last hair cut. He was appreciating the way he recognized himself in the mirror again. The waxed style never quite sat right with him, despite all the reassurances of the barber. Valerie hesitated a moment and said, “So…quaint.” Her lips pursed in a sour expression. Jason flashed a grin at her. “Quaint, huh?” he snorted. “Bet that’s the first time this place has ever been called that.” “You know, I’m reaching here for the right words. I’m trying to support you,” she deadpanned. “This place makes finding positive adjectives a bit of a struggle.” “Your support means everything to me.” Jason nodded. “I know this is unconventional.” “Well, you’ve got guts and definitely the gumption. If anyone can do this, it will be you,” she replied. Sighing, she gathered her purse close to her body and grabbed her keys. “Shall we go in and check it out?” “Sounds great.” They climbed out of the car and she hit the alarm twice as the car beeped and the headlights flashed. The air carried the scent of rotting trash. She wrinkled her nose and cast a nervous glance around the neighborhood then back at her car. Her

thumb turned white as she hit the alarm again. “What?” she questioned, catching Jason’s eye. “You can’t be too careful.” The street was still wet from the earlier rain. Valerie stepped carefully around the puddle, mindful of her Prada shoes. Directly above them the streetlight sparked and went out. “Fabulous,” the real estate agent muttered. The two of them walked to the door. It was covered with a roll cage, secured in place with a padlock and thick chain running through the handle. The padlock was rusty and the agent struggled to get the key to move. After a bit of twisting and her muttering “Come on, come on,” the chain finally fell free. Jason grabbed the cage and yanked it up, causing a sharp grinding noise that echoed in the street. Valerie glanced over her shoulder, her eyes darting around anxiously. Jason shoved the door all the way open with his shoulder and walked in, with Valerie clinging to his elbow. After feeling around the wall, Jason found the light switch. The fluorescent lights above them flickered as they warmed up. Slowly, the empty warehouse brightened. Two rats, probably startled by the bloom of light, squeaked in the distance. Valerie squealed at the sound. Jason put his hand out to steady her. “Don’t worry. They’re more scared of you.” “They better be,” she said nervously. “I’ll spike my heel right through their skeevy hearts!” Jason’s gaze swept over the room. Newspapers littered the concrete floor. The air smelled musty and undisturbed. On the far wall, a row of shelves hung on vertical white spacers, a couple of them fallen at a diagonal. A door to the back indicated where the bathrooms were. He walked over to the front window and tipped the blinds to look outside. The window was large, covering nearly a third of the wall. Valerie read from her notes. “This window has been recently replaced.” Her lips pressed together as she read further. “A stray bullet took it out.” Then she smiled brightly. “The good news is… it’s now reinforced.” Jason laughed at her words. “See—there’s always a bright side.” He looked up the street. A paper cup blew along the grimy curb. The building across from him was tagged in graffiti, its windows boarded shut. Stepping back, he faced the agent. “It’s perfect.” He grinned. “I want it.” “Okay,” she faltered, flashing a glance around in an effort to figure out what he saw in the place. “You sure?” “Yep. The sooner the better.” “I’ll go write something up.” At the sound of rodents scurrying in the wall she flinched and added. “I know it’s just hit the market, but I’m sure we can get them to bargain.” “Do what you need to do, but I don’t want to lose it.” He jammed his hands in his pockets. “It’s exactly what I envisioned.” “Full price, then?” She looked sad at the thought.

“Yeah, whatever it takes. Don’t low-ball them.” “Okay. I’ll wait for you in the car.” Valerie reached for her cell phone and whirled back out the door, racing to leave the building. Jason heard her car beep as she rushed towards it. Then, silence. The room was cold and his footsteps echoed. “Just you and me, baby,” Jason whispered to the empty interior. Rats squeaked again. “Sorry, and you guys too.” He walked the length of the building and examined the corners. He ran his hand down one of the walls. A soft laugh came out of him, and his eyes sparkled with excitement. Already the promise of what he wanted to build played in his mind, belying what was actually there. He could imagine a fridge and food prep station here, a call center there. A support center in the corner. What here? Maybe some emergency cots? Clothing over there, tables, maybe a few computers. How big could this go? He needed to get ahold of his lawyer to answer some questions. And churches, and maybe the police station, the firehouse, and Children’s Protective Services. The ideas began to overwhelm him. Jason grabbed his phone out of his pocket and did a quick search. He needed to find someone with some experience to show him the ropes. He knew exactly where he had to go.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

WINTER

“So what are you doing for Christmas?” Dylan asked as they stood on her front

porch. Miranda paused with one hand on the railing, trying to wiggle her foot into her high heel. “Confounded things,” she muttered. “You’re supposed to be dressed before I get here,” Dylan said dryly. Her eyes snapped at his. “What are you talking about? I am dressed. My strap slipped off my heel. Besides, where are you taking me? I told you my budget was tight this week.” “Why do you keep insisting on paying for stuff?” “Dylan, I’ve told you. That’s what friends do.” He rolled his eyes, waiting on the bottom step until she had her shoe situated. “So, your plans?” “Oh I don't know.” Miranda skipped down the step. “Probably the usual, Ham, eggnog, pecan pie.” “Mmm,” he nodded. “You?” “Mom makes a huge fuss if we don’t all go to her place at Martha’s Vineyard. She decorates it to the nines. It’s kind of intense.” His dimples flashed. “I thought you’d like to come?” Miranda climbed into the car, surprised. “Oh.” She pulled on her seatbelt and the car took off. Meet his family? “Wow, that’s nice of you to ask, but I couldn’t leave Cassie. I think we’re going to go hike around Rattlesnake Lake that weekend anyway.” “It’s almost a month away. Maybe you could wiggle it in? I bet Cassie could find somewhere else to go. After all it’s not every day you get asked to the Vineyard. I’d invite her too, but then what message would I be sending to the family? Everyone just invite your plus ones, twos, and threes?” The air between them went stagnant. Miranda opened her mouth, but at the surge of anger she didn’t trust herself to speak. He’d never understand that Cassie wasn’t a plus one or two, like some kind of burden. She rubbed her temple. Suddenly, this felt like it was going to be a long night. Traffic was busy for a Friday night, and they crept along. Sparkling lights hung

from ornate poles along the main street. “The restaurant I’m taking you to is five star. The chef used to work at the Wolf Den. He’s just amazing.” Dylan shifted the car and reached over to rest his hand on Miranda’s knee. “You look gorgeous tonight, by the way.” “Thank you,” she said. He rubbed her leg. Miranda bit her lip and stared out the window. “So, what he can do with watercress and caviar is out of this world.” He stopped to let a few pedestrians cross at the crosswalk, all teenagers, ignoring the cars, dawdling. They laughed and joked with each other and met up with another group milling outside a storefront. Miranda was about to respond when her gaze caught the sign of the building. Runaway and homeless youth shelter. TECH Teenage Crisis Hope. She craned her head as Dylan drove past. Whoa… “What are you looking at?” “That crisis center.” She jerked her thumb in its direction. “Have you ever seen it there before?” He glanced in his rearview mirror. “Nope, can’t say I have. Just what we need, more homeless teens in the city.” Eyebrows arching, Miranda turned to him. “You’re kidding me, right?” At her tone, he realized his mistake. “No, it’s not that. It’s not like I don’t want to help them. But most homeless teens—you know.” “No, I don’t. Why don’t you enlighten me?” He sucked in a breath. “Listen, Miranda. Sorry if I sounded harsh. It’s just that my business has been vandalized a few times and always by teenagers. They’ve broken into the back room and partied, leaving their garbage everywhere. They’ve caused some real destruction.” Miranda deflated slightly at his words and faced forward. Calm down, no need to be defensive. “Okay, I see what you mean. It’s just that not every teen on the streets is there on purpose. It’s not exactly a glamorous lifestyle. Most of them don’t have a choice.” “Yeah, I feel bad for those with difficult lives.” He glanced at her again. “And I love that you care.” They passed another group of teens heading down the street, probably going to the same place. She looked down at her black beaded dress, her fingers gently drawing at one of the beads. How did I get here? “If it helps,” Dylan said, “I’ll be happy to have my company donate to that center. A charity starting up like that could probably use it.” “You’d do that?” Miranda asked. “Yeah. In fact I’ll text Denise right now to send a check for ten grand.” He flashed her a grin as he grabbed his phone. “What do you think?” Miranda smiled. “I think that would be amazing. Thanks, Dylan. That actually means a lot to me.” “Good.” At the stoplight he quickly sent the text. “We should all try and help

however we can.” “And I’m sorry for the vandalism at your warehouse.” “That cost me a pretty penny too.” He frowned. “I had to hire security to watch over the place.” “I’m sorry. Kids are selfish sometimes, but I still have a huge soft spot for them.” She picked at her nail. “I had a few weeks where I didn’t have any place to go. I didn’t like the taste of homelessness I got.” “Whoa, are you serious? Dylan shifted the car then glanced at her. “Wow, I’m sorry. You never told me before.” “Hey, it’s okay. I mostly just tried to forget it. I mean, it worked out. But those kids back there just as easily could have been me. People don’t see you when you’re homeless. It’s like you live in the Twilight Zone. They just pass you by.” “Yeah, but you got out of it. If they try hard enough, they can too.” Miranda frowned. “I didn’t get out of it. I struggled and starved and barely made it, and that was in the summer. I can’t imagine what it would have been like in the colder months. I just happened to meet a man who gave the three of us a helping hand.” “Three of you?” “Yeah. That’s how we met Jason.” A heaviness rolled over her. She hadn’t heard from him since his last dumb text asking if she was over her temper tantrum. Where is this emotion coming from? Let it go. Dylan’s lips narrowed at the sound of Jason’s name. “Too bad that guy never got it together like you did.” Miranda’s pulse sped up as heat rose in her face. “I’m sorry I brought him up, but I don’t want to hear anything bad spoken about him. He was there for me when no one else was.” “That’s what I like about you, Miranda. Your heart is pure. You see the best in people.” “I’m not seeing the best in him when I say that. I don’t think you understand. He saved our lives, more than once. Seriously, let’s not bring him up again.” Dylan nodded. “You got it. He’s definitely not worth the strife.” Miranda sighed. “No matter what’s happened, I want him to be happy.” I want to be happy, too. She looked out the window to control her emotions. A few blocks farther they entered a nicer neighborhood. He pulled into the restaurant parking lot. “Miranda, I won’t flake on you like he did. I don’t need to figure things out. I already know what I want.” He leaned over and his lips landed near her ear. “And what I want is you.” She pulled away from him and his eyes narrowed. “Dylan, you could have any girl you want. Why would you want a confused mess like me? Besides, I keep telling you that I can’t be more than friends right now.” “How long are you going to keep playing this friend game? I don’t get it.” “What?” “You have your guard up and don’t trust me yet, and you should. Because I’m

not going to hurt you.” He drew her into his arms. Even under the tailored suit she could feel his firm muscles. She should feel comforted right now, but instead felt like a cat being forced into a bath. She gently pushed away and let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired and maybe hungry. Can we talk about this later?” He let out a groan. “Whatever.” Miranda straightened in her seat, her attention caught by something out the window. “Hey, look! There’s that kid again.” On the sidewalk across from them sat the homeless boy, eating something unidentifiable. His face hovered inches above a patch of dandelions, his eyes wide and innocent as he touched one. “Dylan? Remember him? The one we saw digging in the dumpster.” “Where?” Dylan’s head swiveled. “Hang on. I’ll be right back.” Miranda climbed out of the car and slowly walked over to the boy. “Hi, there. What’s your name?” The teen’s face became instantly wary as he clambered to his feet. His green jacket fell open, the metal zipper broken, revealing a dirty shirt. Miranda stopped, afraid to move any farther and scare him. She held her hands palm down. “It’s okay. I just wondered if you needed any kind of help.” A shy, simple smile spread across the boy’s face, now slightly pink from her attention. Dylan slammed the car door. “Miranda?” he called. The boy jerked his gaze toward Dylan. He ducked his head and scurried around the corner at a clumsy jog. Miranda watched the teen leave with a sinking heart. The boy was thinner now than the last time she’d seen him. His jacket had a frayed hole in one of the elbows. “Aw,” she said as Dylan walked up. “That poor kid.” Dylan stared with squinted eyes in the direction the teen had disappeared. “Try not to be too worried. That crisis center is just down the street. He knows where to get help if he wants it.” Miranda frowned, and allowed Dylan to grab her hand and draw her away. They walked into the restaurant and soon were seated. Before the hostess left them Dylan held up two fingers. “Bring a couple of glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon, and hurry.” Miranda raised her menu to hide the blush at his tone. Dylan pulled down her menu.“Get the steak salad. You won’t regret it.” The waitress appeared with their wine, and they ordered. “So,” he said, lifting his wine glass. “A toast.” Miranda lifted her own. “To what?” “To hopefully not a repeat of what happened in Seattle.” His eyes glittered as he raised an eyebrow. Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “Really? Is that necessary?” “What?”

“That’s kind of a nasty toast.” He took a sip without clinking her glass. “I’m just making my intentions known so you don’t feel like you have to play hard to get. You’ve made me work harder than I have for any other girl.” He grinned, his dimples flashing boyishly. “I have a confession. I was the one that drained your battery a few months ago.” “What?” A cold shiver ran through her. Her mouth dropped open and she set the glass down. “Yeah. Kind of crazy, but I thought it would be a good way to get some time alone with you. You’d been so stand-offish up until then.” “What am I supposed to think about that, Dylan?” Shock resonated through her in tiny electrical jolts. “That I liked you so much I was willing to try anything for that first date.” “Hello? That’s weird.” “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” “I am completely freaked out.” I need to remember to always trust my gut. Dylan sighed. “Honestly, Miranda, I thought you’d be flattered. I feel like you’re out to pick a fight tonight.” Miranda pressed her lips together then took a drink from her wine, trying to calm the anger burning inside. Am I overreacting, or is this guy crazy? “Wow! Listen to that rain!” Dylan exclaimed, his round face turning towards the windows. She couldn’t hear it through the thick velvet curtains and muted conversation. I hope that poor kid found some shelter. The food came, tasting flavorless to Miranda. Dylan droned on and on about a commercial that had been filmed in his warehouse. She tried to remember to nod when appropriate, her thoughts running rampant in her mind. Dylan paid and led Miranda out to the sidewalk. The rain had puddled on the pavement, transforming it into a giant smeary mirror that reflected the streetlights in long wavy ribbons. As they walked up to the Audi something yellow caught Miranda’s attention. Stuck in the passenger door handle was a bouquet of dandelions. She scooped up the flowers, still damp from the rain, and glanced around quickly for the teen, but didn’t see any sign of him. “You keeping those?” Dylan arched his eyebrow. Miranda nodded and brought them to her nose to smell. On the car ride home, Miranda sat quietly, her thumb gently ruffling the flower petals. Just get home. I’ll talk to Dylan then. Maybe I really am destined to be a nun. At her house, they both climbed out of the car. Miranda waited on the porch instead of opening the door and inviting him in like she normally did. “You’ve sure been quiet tonight.” Dylan wrapped her into his arms and tucked her head under his chin. He squeezed her tightly before patting her on the back. Each pat annoyed Miranda deep in the pit of her stomach. “So, what are we doing this weekend?” he asked, touching her cheek. She closed

her eyes. “What’s wrong?” Miranda cringed inside and stepped away from his embrace.“Dylan—” He frowned at her tone and reached for her hand, still clutching the flowers. “Don’t do it.” She sighed. “We have to talk.” Be careful, be cool. You still have to see him at work. “Don’t do it. You don’t want to do this.” Miranda bit the inside of her bottom lip. The wind blew a leaf past them up into the trees. “I can’t give you more than friendship.” “You seemed to do pretty well when we kissed. Or are you just leading me on?” “Wow, Dylan. You kissed me!” “Is this still about the car battery? I told you, I thought you’d be flattered. The whole ‘extreme lengths a guy will go,’ kind of thing.” “I just think I need some time alone to figure things out.” His brow raised in hurt skepticism. “What? You want your old bum boyfriend? The one who left you? That’s some prize.” Anger cracked inside of her at his words. “Leave Jason out of it.” “It would have been nice if Jason really could have been left out of it. Maybe then I would have had a real chance.” “I tried.” “He’s not here, in case you didn’t notice.” Dylan took as step closer and his face flushed darkly. “He left you. He didn’t want you.” Miranda flinched at his words. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. But he did want me. I just didn’t want him because he was acting like such a jerk.” Dylan took a step back in surprise. “This is the first I’ve heard of that. You told me he left.” “Well, he came back. He has a new life now. You should look him up. He seems to run in your circle.” He snorted. “That kid could never run in my circle.” “I’m sorry.” “Keep pining away for him. You’re never going to be happy.” She didn’t answer. Dylan smiled at her sardonically. “You’re going to regret this, girl.” He twirled his keys around his finger and looked up the driveway. Glancing back, he gave a mock salute. “I’m out of here.” Miranda nodded. As he walked away, she let out a deep sigh. Her hand rested on the newel post of the porch, hewed into the silhouette of a swan. Jason had carved it last summer to surprise her. Her heart clutched with grief and emptiness. Had she made the right decision? Was she going to regret this? Jason was never coming back, and at this rate she was never going to move forward. Then she shook her head. Are you crazy, Miranda? That guy killed your battery. For. A. Date. I don’t need a man to make me happy. I’ve got this.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

WINTER

T he grocery store was busy when Jason entered. An escaping toddler with bright

red cheeks careened into his legs as he reached to get a cart. The harried mother chased after her, shooting him a quick, “Oh, sorry.” “No worries.” Jason answered as he finagled his list out of his jeans pocket. His partner at the Crisis Center, Chloe, had written it in her usual chicken scratch. Jason squinted to read it. Peanut Butter, bread and gobbleygook… He sounded out the last item, trying to make sense of it. Giving up, he reached for his phone. “Hello?” Chloe answered, out of breath. “Everything okay?” he asked, as he wandered down the bread aisle. He’d never understand why there were fifty thousand different kinds of white bread, and only one kind of good kielbasa. “Yes, fine. I just dropped you. But I caught you again. Now what’s up?” Jason grinned. She’s a cute girl. “What’s this last item on the list?” “Baggies! Don’t forget the baggies!” Her voice held a tinge of panic. They’d discovered they were out yesterday when it was time to hand out the meals. The team had to make do by wrapping the sandwiches in plastic wrap from an old box someone had dug up. It had been a nightmare. “Ahh, got it.” Jason nodded. “That all?” “That’s it, boss. See you in a few.” She clicked off. He jammed the phone in his pocket and picked up speed. Today he expected the center would be hit hard with kids looking for help. Thursdays were always especially busy. He had no idea why. TECH was running great. He couldn’t help feeling pride when he saw the kids leave with resources. So far, he’d built an apartment in the upper section of the warehouse. Right now, it worked for him. Someday he’d build his dream house and garage. He had splurged on all new fishing equipment—Ugly Stick, yeah baby! And of course, he had his Porsche. Never giving that up! Jason wheeled around the corner and stopped short. Miranda was standing there in the produce aisle. She must have just gotten off work; her pink cardigan was buttoned clear to her neck. He ducked behind the paper towel display and slowly

peeked out, his heart pounding. This is ridiculous. I’m acting like a seven-year-old boy who likes a girl. Still, he kept hidden. Miranda picked an apple out of the bin and held it to her nose. Her cart was filled with frozen pizzas and a box of Toasty O’s. Jason’s lip curled into a half smile. Brushing her dark hair back from where it had fallen to the side of her face, she reached for a produce bag. Her blue eyes widened, and she glanced up as if sensing she was being watched. He quickly dove back behind the aisle. What the heck, dude? Time to turn in your man card. He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm the emotions tumbling inside like clothes in a washing machine. Just walk away. He couldn’t resist one more look. Miranda was now in the bakery section, inspecting a box of doughnuts. Jason smiled. She’s doing good. Slowly, he circled the cart back in the other direction. He grabbed a box of sandwich bags and some peanut butter on his way to the check out. Five minutes later, Jason left the store and searched for his vehicle. There it was, big ol' Rusty. Tossing the bags in the back, he jumped in the front seat. He pumped the gas a few times as he started it. “Come on, you’ve got this.” It roared to life, and a smile broke out across his face. He’d reclaimed the truck from his friend’s storage, leaving the Porsche there for the time being. “She’s fast and sleek, but otherwise she’s got nothing on you.” He thumped the dash with the palm of his hand and threw the truck in reverse. Jason stepped on the gas, and the truck rumbled around the corner. He couldn’t believe he’d bumped into Miranda. Man, she’s beautiful. I don’t think I could’ve screwed that up more if I tried. Did I really call her job menial? He cringed. I owe her an apology for that. Should he text her? Maybe he could, just to find out how Archer was doing. That’d be okay, maybe. Jason glanced in his rearview mirror—nobody behind him—and pulled to the curb. His thumb automatically scrolled through his list of contacts and hovered over Miranda’s name. He sighed and stared out the window. Blake, one of the kids registered at the resource center, rolled on his skateboard down the sidewalk. The teen skidded to a stop and leaned in the open passenger window. “What are you doing?” “Getting some food for the hungry savages. You hungry?” Blake grinned and said, “Yeah, always hungry.” “Get in here if you want a ride.” Jason slid his cell phone into his front pocket as Blake cranked open the door and slammed it shut behind him.

When Miranda exited the store a happy sound rose out of her throat as the sunshine warmed her skin. “What a freaking beautiful day,” she whispered. Lovely, talking to myself in public now. She stopped the grocery cart outside her Jeep and popped the hatch. Wrapping the plastic handle around her fingers, she hauled a bag out of the cart. Her stomach flipped over at the familiar rumbling sound of an engine. “That totally sounds like Jason’s truck.” Grimacing, she tossed in another bag and slammed the hatch. “I freaking can’t believe it. Somebody bought his truck.” She returned the cart and jumped into her Jeep. At the “T” she headed the opposite way. Don’t want to see it. The memory of the way he’d treated her at the car dealership still filled her with shame. Tears pricked her eyes. Probably has a new girl. Someone glamorous. She looked down at her clothes—boring office attire she quickly threw on after her jog with Archer on the beach that morning—and shriveled inside. Then she straightened her shoulders. You have to knock this off and pull yourself out of this pity party. Cassie’s waiting to get the Christmas tree decorated. Ten minutes later she bumped down the driveway. Archer ran over to the Jeep as she parked. “Hi, ol’boy. Did Cassie get the ornaments down yet? Huh? Huh?” Each huh was punctuated by the dog’s enthusiastic butt wiggle. He let out a sharp bark. “Cassie!” she yelled as she walked in. “Tell me you’ve been up to the loft.” “Been there, done that. Boring.” Cassie slid around the corner looking sweaty and frazzled. “Er, you have a little bit of—” Miranda pointed to her hair. Cassie plucked out a pink piece of insulation and stared at her sister, nonplussed. “You’re putting away the decorations after Christmas, just so you know.” Waggling a box of candy canes, Miranda asked, “Who want’s a Scooby snack?” “What do you think I am? Six?” Cassie snatched the box and immediately unwrapped one. Sucking on it, she continued. “You can’t bribe me.” Miranda turned to put the rest of the groceries away before her sister could see her smile. “So, you going to help me decorate, or what?” Cassie asked. They’d gotten the tree last week, and were too exhausted after setting it up to decorate it. “Mmmhm.” Miranda hummed and walked into the living room. She stopped short at the doorway. “What the heck happened in here?” The room was strewn with overflowing boxes and tangled balls of lights. “The North Pole threw up in our living room, what do you think happened?” Cassie rolled her eyes. Miranda pursed her lips before marching over to snag a strand of lights. “Okay, smarty pants, let’s get going.” Together they untangled the string and slowly circled the tree. “Do you remember when we used to hang tinsel?” Cassie asked balancing on her tiptoes.

Miranda frowned. The last time they’d used tinsel, Cassie had been four or five. “Yes, and it was a nightmare to clean. How in the world do you remember tinsel?” “Easy, I’d always sneak a handful and take it to my room and barrette it in my hair. I wanted to look just like Pink.” “You goofy girl.” Miranda cracked a smile. She removed an ornament from the box and hung it on the tree. “I actually remember you doing that. We had a picture somewhere.” The sisters grinned at each other. “You excited to see Leif?” He had phoned Cassie to let her know he would be on leave soon. Miranda swore Cassie’s feet hadn’t touched the ground since. “Yes.” Her sister’s cheeks filled with color. “It’s just sad he won’t be here for Christmas. It’s going to be weird not having Jason here,” Cassie added. Miranda sighed. “Not helping.” After a minute Cassie pounced on a box. “Aha! You do remember these, don’t you?” She lifted a gingerbread head laced with red ribbon. Miranda snorted. “Tell me you didn’t save those.” She took it from Cassie, and ran her finger over it before handing it back. “Aww, poor thing. Missing a body.” “You made a whole set from that weird applesauce cinnamon dough.” “It was suppose to smell good,” Miranda said glumly. “Oh, it did. So good that Archer ate the bodies off of every one.” Miranda threw an annoyed look at her sister as Cassie laughed over the visual of macabre heads hanging all over the tree. “Give me that back.” “No,” Cassie yanked it away and ran to the front. “It goes right here. High enough to be safe from Archer and displayed with pride.” Her phone dinged and a surge of excitement flew through her. Jason? She scrambled to get it, her heart immediately sinking as she read it. It was from Dylan —Just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas. Maybe we can talk soon? Miranda powered it off, and slouched back on the couch. Christmas music played in the background. Miranda watched her sister hang the remaining ornaments. Cassie pulled a sparkling pinecone from the box. “Remember when the three of us made these last—” She trailed off at her sister’s stare. “Sorry.” She hurried around to the other side of the tree and hung the ornament. Miranda felt a tear tremble on her eyelid and wiped it away with her finger. A desperate voice rose inside of her. Text. Him. The longing she felt was overwhelming. Maybe, just maybe I could get through to him this time.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

WINTER

M iranda’s palms were sweaty when she arrived at the restaurant. The waitress

guided her to a table that overlooked the street. She slid out her phone to check the time, then, on spur of the moment, sent a text. —I’m here. Scrolling up, she reread the text she’d received from Jason on Christmas Day. —It’s early, and I’m laying here under the tree thinking about you. I owe you a big apology. Let me make a fresh start for the new year? Her lips trembled as she read it, and she quickly pressed them together. Closing her eyes, she tried to curb the hope that had been building over the last few days. Don’t go there. He’s changed, remember? Let him apologize and get on with his new life. Sighing, she dropped the phone back into her purse. The waitress came over and Miranda ordered two coffees. “Cream and sugar?” “Yes, please.” Miranda watched her walk away, then stared out the window. An elderly couple exited the hair salon across the street, the woman tying a scarf around her hair to protect it from the winter wind. Passing in front of the window, a mom jogged by, pushing a three-wheeled stroller. She zigzagged around a young man in a ratty white t-shirt. His hair was long and scruffy and falling over his forehead. Her heart stopped. It was Jason. He glanced down at his phone as he walked around the corner. Then the door dinged and he came in, slowly scanning the room for her. Jason’s eyes lit up when he finally spotted her, and her heart about flew into her throat. Jason lifted his hand as he walked over. “Hey there, beautiful,” he said, giving an adorable crooked smile. Miranda’s mouth went dry. “Long time no see. How are you doing?” He pushed the hair off his forehead with grease-stained fingers and sat down. “I’m good. Busy.” “Yeah? Well,” she cleared her throat. “You look good. Different.” He smiled and flipped a sugar packet around in his fingers. “Thanks for meeting

with me. I owe you an apology. I could have said it in a text, but I really wanted to do it in person. I—” The waitress appeared with mugs and a steaming pot of coffee. After pouring the cups, she pulled out her pad. “So what can I get you two?” “Oh, this is fine,” Miranda said and looked over at Jason. “You want anything?” “No, I’m good.” “What? No pecan pie? I’ve got some of the best back there.” The waitress jerked her pen towards the counter. “Okay, if you’re sure,” she said in response to their shaking heads. “Just when I was on a roll,” Jason moaned and Miranda laughed. He smiled at her. “You know, Miranda, you were right when you said I’d changed. I wanted to make you proud of me. Wanted to be someone who deserved you.” He held up his hand to stop her from protesting. “I know I went about it wrong. I’m just not made to be a rich person I guess. But the thing is, I never felt good enough. So for a few weeks there, I felt on top of the world.” “Yeah but you acted like a jerkwad.” His eyes squinted. “Ouch, that hurts.” “You were worse than Dylan.” “Wow, Miranda, you’re out for blood today.” He smiled again, showing his crooked tooth. “But I deserved that. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” His green eyes stared at her intently. Miranda looked down at her coffee, unable to hold his gaze. So many feelings rushed in. “When you said you wanted to apologize, I was relieved. But hearing you say it.… all I can think about is how you left me when I begged you not to go.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the unselfish thing by leaving. You know what they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” “It’s felt like hell all right.” His eyebrows drew together at her words and he rubbed his forehead. “Man, I really screwed up. I don’t even know where to begin.” “You can apologize for not believing me,” Miranda suggested. “When I told you that I only wanted you…the real you.” “Yeah, I heard you say that, but it felt different from my point of view. I mean, who’d want a grease monkey when they can have some rich successful guy? “A smart person who knows it’s what’s inside a person that counts.” Jason snorted. “There you go again, always Pollyanna-ing everything up.” “I’m serious! I’d love to have the freedom to travel and pursue the things I’m passionate about. Have a cool car.” She smiled at him. “But life comes in stages, you know? Sometimes you have a lot, and sometimes a little. The trick is to be happy in either spot.” He stared at her. “You might have something there.” This time she held his gaze. But she wasn’t quite ready to make up with him yet. “You look so good. I can’t believe how long it’s been.”

“I have a thick head and always take the long way around to learn things.” He reached over and touched the back of her hand. “I’ve missed you.” The warm touch was like a knock out punch. “Are you telling me you’ve changed again?” Her comment was a last ditch effort in order not to cave and jump in his arms. She amended it—his tan muscular arms. For crying out loud, will-power, woman! Jason took a sip of his coffee. “I don’t know how to say it, because I’ve said it before. But yeah, I have changed. Maybe I’ve grown up, I don’t know. But the time has been good for me. I had to let go of the bad stuff that had happened to me as a kid, and realize it didn’t define who I was today. And, I finally realized what I’m passionate about. Things that make me who I am.” Miranda tipped her head, intrigued. She brushed her hair back and blew on her coffee. “I, uh.” He blushed and grinned as he looked down. “I started a crisis center for teens. It’s called TECH, for Teen Crisis Hope. It’s not much, but I feel like I’m finally doing what I was meant to do.” He studied his hand and held it out to show her the grease stains. “Oh, and I’m back under cars again, obviously.” Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding me? That’s your place out on Seventh Street?” He nodded. “Yeah, me and a few other folks run it. So far we’ve helped eighty kids. You should come check it out sometime.” Miranda gripped the edge of the table, still in shock. “That’s freaking unbelievable. And so cool.” She took a sip of coffee, trying to buy time to slow her thoughts down. He seemed to understand and didn’t press her. “This is so weird to say, but if you ever need any help, I’d like to volunteer,” she said, suddenly feeling bashful. “You would?” “Yes, I totally would. I’m not sure how helpful I’d be, but I’d love to do it.” He tipped his head. “It would be awesome to have you. There’s a training program you have to go through first, if you’re serious. The next one we offer is in a week. Interested?” “Definitely.” His smile broadened and he studied her frankly. “You’ll like it, I’m sure. But if not, don’t worry. No obligation. It’s not for everyone.” “So how does being a Crisis Coordinator mesh with wearing fancy duds?” The corner of Jason’s mouth quirked up. “I sold most of them. All except for that leather jacket. I needed that. And the bathrobe. That thing is awesome.” “You have a bathrobe?” Miranda squinched her nose and laughed. Jason flicked a sugar packet at her. “Shut up! Yes, Egyptian cotton and everything.” He smiled wolfishly at her. “Like my sheets.” “Oh brother.” “Don’t knock it until you try it. Softest thing you ever slept in.”

Miranda shook her head. “Well, at least you changed them.” “What? I always changed my sheets.” “Changing them with every solstice does not constitute sheet cleanliness.” Miranda shook her head. “Wow, you’re on a roll today. This coffee date’s been great for my self-esteem.” “Oh! It’s a date now, is it?” Jason studied the cup in front of him. He slowly spun it, and glanced back at her. “I kind of hope so.” Man, he was cute. Miranda closed her eyes and tried not to picture his scruffy face bending over hers. “Let’s start as friends again,” she said. Take that, willpower! Jason studied her with a small grin before finishing the last of his coffee. “I wish it could be longer, but I have to be getting back. I’ve got two kids in crisis coming today, and I need to make sure the team is ready to receive them.” He pulled out his wallet and slid a ten under the cup. “There, that will pay for us.” He stood up and hesitated. “Maybe lunch soon?” “I’d like that, Jason. A lot.” He nodded with his half-grin. “Great. Maybe I’ll take you to the Space Needle. You know, to impress you.” Her face froze in wariness. “Nah, I’m just kidding. I did find an awesome taco stand though. Maybe we can go there.” “Sounds great.” Jason’s phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket, quickly reading the text. “Oh, I guess they’re already there. I need to go.” He stretched out his arms towards her. “Hug?” Miranda stood and walked over. He wrapped his arms around her. Resting against his chest felt like coming home, and she couldn’t help the small noise that came out of her mouth. “Mmmmm.” She felt his cheek against the top of her head. “Bye, Miranda.” With a final wave, he strode quickly out of the restaurant. Miranda settled back into the booth and picked up her coffee mug. Wow, he sure looked good. More confident and sure of himself than she’d ever seen before. All from starting the center? Or just figuring out what was important to him? He looked hot! She giggled and sipped her coffee. Her stomach jumped with butterflies. I can’t wait to see him again. Suddenly, her eyes grew big. She grabbed her phone and quickly texted. —I forgive you!

Chapter Thirty

WINTER

M iranda completed her three-week training program. It was grueling but worth

it. Today she sat next to her team captain, a cute redhead named Chloe. “Hey lady, you think you can handle the next phone call?” Chloe pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. “What? You’re throwing me to the wolves so soon?” Chloe laughed. “You can do it. It’s just a social worker. You know what the kid needs. Be the best advocate you can for them.” The last month had been a whirlwind of change for Miranda. But she’d loved every minute of it. Three new kids came through the front door, wearing the same countenance as every new teen that entered. Suspicion wrapped in bravado, like they didn’t have a care in the world. Miranda knew better. She saw how many were hurting and scared. She also knew the center might not be able to help everyone who came through those doors. It was a partnership between the teen and the program. The sign at the front door explained the boundaries to be in the program. The first one was: Respect each other. We all have problems. And most of these kids came with problems. But everyone working there had a taste of what they’d been through. Neglect, child abuse, drug, and alcohol use came in every package—wealthy families, poor families, educated families, split families. The most important thing was to give them hope, make them believe there was a way out. Jason walked over to the kids. Miranda’s heart skipped a beat. He was just so good-looking. He smiled his easy grin, flannel shirt layered over a t-shirt, holey blue jeans on. His eyes flashed as he nodded at something one of the kids said. The kids liked him. He listened. After a few minutes, he led them to another counselor who handed out a couple brown bags of sandwiches. The kids took them and left, the oldest boy giving a nod to Jason on his way out. Jason wrote something down in the notebook he always carried. As if sensing her watching, he glanced towards her. A warm shiver ran down her spine. Tucking

the well-worn notebook into his back pocket, he strode over. “How’s my favorite helper doing today?” “Good.” Miranda stood and put her arms around his neck. He wrapped his hands around her waist and gave her his crooked grin. “You’re looking way better than good, Sunshine.” Miranda laughed. “Glad you like my cutting edge ponytail, no make-up style. I have a feeling you’re going to be seeing a lot of it.” “How soon until you can take lunch?” he asked. They had a weekly date at the taco stand. “Chloe?” Miranda looked around for her lead. Chloe rolled her eyes and said, “Go on, get out of here.” Jason grabbed her hand and they headed outside. “How are you handling the split shift with the dental office?” “It’s been good.” Three days there, two days here, working pretty good actually. “We could make this a full time position, you know.” “Aww, maybe someday. But I can’t leave Claudia in the lurch like that.” “You mind if we take a walk first, before lunch?” She shook her head and he squeezed her hand. “All right, come on. Let’s head to the park.” They passed his truck, sitting by the curb. Jason reached into the bed and pulled out a plastic Frisbee. “We’re going to toss a Frisbee?” Miranda raised her eyebrows incredulously. “Well, I want you to stay active and all, especially now you have a desk job.” He winked at her. “I know you’ve been too busy to go hiking lately.” ”I’ll have you know I had a desk job before.” He looked at her legs with concern. “They’re kind of getting a bit puny. Maybe we should run some laps too.” “Ohhh, buddy.” Miranda whacked him on the arm. “You just wait and see. You were the one living the high-life, eating that caviar and éclairs stuff.” “That insult doesn’t even make sense. Who eats caviar with éclairs?” “You know what I mean,” He grinned and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I’m just teasing you sweetie. You’re beautiful just the way you are.” Miranda rested her head on his chest for a second, feeling sparks of heat fly down her spine from his touch. Her smile stretched across her face. The day was gorgeous and, even though it was still winter, the air held the faintest scent of fresh life. The tree’s branches were nubbed with future leaf buds. Some early crocuses had already pushed up through the dirt. The park had just been mowed for the first time that year, the grass brilliant green in the sunshine. They walked over the hill and into an open area. “Okay, stay here. I’ll pass the Frisbee to you first.” Jason jogged ahead, before spinning around. “Ready?” he called. “Yup!”

Jason sent the disc spinning in a smooth arc towards her. Leaping, she caught it midair and quickly sent it back. She frowned as the disc arced to the far left of him. He ran after it and caught it just in time. He threw it again, directly to her. Again, she returned it to his left making him chase after it. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Have you ever done this before?” Miranda laughed. “I’m sorry! The wind is catching it.” “Throw it like this,” he mimed, then tossed it again. She threw it, this time over correcting in the opposite direction. He flopped on the grass after he caught it, his chest heaving. “Come on, throw it back!” Miranda yelled. He shook his head. Miranda loped over and stood above him. “What’s the problem? You said you wanted exercise.” He opened one eye and glared at her. “You did that on purpose.” She laughed and sat next to him. Grabbing the Frisbee from his hand, she laid it under her head. Clouds, shaped like popcorn, floated overhead. “Hey,” Miranda pointed. “See that one? A little sheep.” Jason squinted up at the sky. “A sheep?” “It’s cute.” He stared harder. “I see a motorcycle.” “What? You’re kidding.” “It’s about to mow down your sheep. Tell it to run!” he mocked. Jason rolled on his side and tickled Miranda’s ear with a grass blade. “You are a pest,” she said, swatting it away. “Yeah, takes one to know one, Miss Frisbee Champion.” He rolled closer, his green eyes studying her intensely. Suddenly the space between them felt electrified. “Are you ever coming home again?” she asked. “You want me home?” His question was slow. He tickled the grass blade down her arm. “It’s your place as much as mine. Uncle Stew left it to the both of us when he died.” He stared at the track the grass blade was taking. After a moment he continued, “You know, I kind of like where I’m at, staying above TECH. It gives me an opportunity to do something I’ve never done before.” “What’s that?” He smiled at her and lightly dragged the grass stem down her nose, before tracing her eyebrows. “I can take you out on a date.” She closed her eyes as her heart did a double beat. His voice dropped an octave. “If you’ll let me.” “I’d like that.” She bit her lip as the grass blade lightly went over. His thumb

traced after it and rubbed the tickle away. “I have missed you so much.” “Me too. Now, where should we go? Not the Red Dragon.” Miranda smiled. “I’ll make you dinner.” His green eyes flickered with uncertainty. “You don’t want to go out?” “You know what they say, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” He flopped on his back. “I can’t tell what you’re saying there.” “What do you mean?” she moved toward him with her own grass blade. “Well, either you want to win me over, or you’re hoping to convince me to leave you alone forever.” “Jason!” He sat up, laughing. “I guess I’ll find out if we’re eating Toasty O’s or not.” “I don’t know what you have against cereal.” She followed him, picking grass out of her hair. “Meat. It’s what’s for dinner.” “Don’t you worry, I’ll cook meat. It’ll be a great dinner.” She looped her pinky around his as they walked back to the office. “Pinky promise.”

Chapter Thirty-One

WINTER

M iranda hummed as she moved around the kitchen, placing a cup of water in a

pot and spun the burner to high. She carefully measured out the instant rice and dumped it in. At the sound of the cupboard opening, Archer appeared out of nowhere and hovered underfoot. She returned the box of rice, almost stepping on his paw. “Shoo!” she told the dog. Instead of leaving, he sat, blocking her way to the pantry, his mouth opened wide and begging. Miranda rolled her eyes, and maneuvered around him. She rummaged through the refrigerator for a package of pork chops before glancing at the recipe. “Rinse, dip in egg, dip in flour and bake.” Easy peasy! She pulled open the cellophane covering the meat and picked up the first raw chop, grimacing at the touch. When she’d finished all four pork chops her hands were covered white in doughy gloves. Don’t get this on my red dress! Miranda tentatively attempted to juggle the water knob on with her elbow, just as Cassie came barreling around the corner. Her sister’s blonde head jerked back and she gave a double blink. “What in the world are you up to?” “Dinner. Now give me a hand and turn on the hot water.” Cassie leaned over and flipped the water on. “You scare me when you’re in the kitchen.” “Shut up. This is going to be awesome.” Cassie eyed her sister’s hands as Miranda ferociously scrubbed at them. “Am I supposed to eat that?” “No, actually you’re not. It’s for Jason.” “I think the goal is to actually win him over, not make him run screaming for the hills.” Miranda frowned, scraping at the dough. “It’s going to be delicious.” Cassie continued to look skeptical. “If you say so, Sis.” Miranda scowled. “Nervous?” “No. Why would I be nervous?”

“No reason. You just seem extra jittery.” “I’m not jittery. I’m expressing my domesticness in the kitchen.” “Erm, your pot—” Cassie pointed. The water frothed over the top and bubbled down the side. “Seriously?” Miranda yelled and raced to turn the burner down. Grabbing a wooden spoon, she stirred frantically at the ingredients. “What was it?” “Rice. It’s fine.” Miranda grumbled. She scraped at the bottom and lifted it to her nose to see if it smelled burned. Maybe not so fine. “Change of plans,” she announced, dumping the ruined rice in the trash bin. “We’re having potatoes instead.” The bottom of the pot was black so she hid the it in the dishwasher. Snatching out the bag of potatoes, she dumped a couple in the sink and scrubbed them. Cassie watched in silence. “Will you quit staring at me?” Miranda asked crossly. “It’s like a train wreck. I want to look away, but I can’t.” Miranda glanced at her through slitted eyes. “I’m leaving, I’m leaving.” Cassie backed away with her hands up. “I have to get my college application papers together anyway.” “Good idea. Keep occupied for the rest of the night. Go check out your celebrity gossip sites.” “Aww, and miss you two being all lovey-dovey again? Poor me.” “When were we lovey-dovey? Ever?” “You guys used to be like those skunks on Bambi. All twitter-pated.” Miranda sprinkled water at her. “Get out of here. And take Archer with you.” “Come on Archer. I can see we aren’t appreciated.” The black dog panted his smile, his dark eyes darting between the girls. He stayed seated, clearly not wanting to leave the kitchen and its promises of treats. “Fine, you can stay.” Miranda rubbed his tummy with the top of her foot. “You’re better-looking anyway.” “Miranda! Stress makes you cranky.” Grinning, Miranda finished slicing the potatoes before adding them to a fresh pot of water.

Jason’s Porsche rumbled down the driveway at six on the dot. Miranda ran to light the candles and did a quick double-check. Tablecloth was out and the table set. The wine glasses sparkled in the candle light. Her red dress fit her like a glove, and she wore the shoes he liked, even though she felt like a tottering fool. And more importantly, the oven was off. Nothing more had burned. She wanted to hug herself with satisfaction.

Her heart pounded as he came up the porch steps. There was a moment of silence and then a knock at the door. Miranda tipped her head and giggled, excitement thrumming through her. Hurrying to open the door, she nearly twisted an ankle. Jason’s back was to her and he slowly turned. Still wearing his trademark torn blue jeans, he had on a button-up green oxford. Its color heightened the shade of his green eyes. He flashed her a crooked smile, filled with a newfound confidence. The sight of him took her breath away. “These are for you,” he said. She glanced down at his hands. Hard working hands, calloused from years of machine work, held a bouquet of flowers. Pink roses, her favorite. “Thank you,” she said softly. Opening the door wider, she grinned. “Come on in.” “Lovely house,” he joked, his gaze sweeping the living room. Then he stopped, his attention locked in the direction of the kitchen. “Wow. Dinner smells good.” A small frown creased her brow. “Don’t act so surprised, Mister.” He set the flowers on the table before reaching out to her. “Come here,” he whispered. The intensity of his desire made her stomach flip. Miranda stepped toward him. He wrapped her in his arms, buried his nose against her neck and inhaled a deep, satisfied breath. “Mm, you smell so good.” Slowly, Jason traced the skin on her neck with soft kisses. Miranda melted into him. He trailed up to her ear and spoke in a husky whisper, “There’s never been a man alive who’s loved a woman the way that I love you.” Her knees felt weak as she clung to him, her pulse speeding up. His hand swept up her bare arm, and she shivered. He made his way up to her mouth and kissed her with the assurance that she was his. All Miranda could think was, “Finally.”

They kissed for a long while, before Archer joined the party. He nudged Jason and Miranda several times begging for attention, before finally jumping up and resting his paws against Jason’s hip. After being jostled around, they broke apart and Jason crouched to the floor. “Hey old buddy. That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” he scolded while scratching the dog’s belly. “You’re supposed to help me get the girl, not break us apart.” He gently pushed at Archer in a playful way. The dog pranced and barked, his butt waggling, about to pounce. “Oh! You’re going to get me, huh? Going to be that way?” Jason pushed the dog again, and the two of them wrestled in a playful tussle. Miranda nearly giggled as joy bubbled up inside her. I don’t know how we finally got here but thank God we’re here. After a minute, Jason stood. “Did I hear something about food?” He rubbed his

stomach and sniffed at the delicious odors filling the kitchen Reaching for his hand, Miranda led him over to the table, where the food sat on gleaming dishes. “Wow sweetheart. You outdid yourself.” He pulled her close and kissed her again. “It’s not my fault if the food’s cold.” “I like cold food,” he murmured back, not releasing her. She laughed. “Your wish is my command.” “Hmmm, I like the sound of that.” His half-grin cheekily appeared. They sat at the table and Jason poured the wine. “How about a toast,” he said, holding his glass out. “Go ahead.” She held up hers. He thought for a moment, staring into her eyes. “To truth, faith and life with the one you love.” Her lip lifted up at the corner. “Cheers.” They softly clinked glasses and took a sip. The candlelight glimmered off the dishes, bathing everything in warm light. Miranda sighed with contentment. “So, where’s Cassie?” Jason asked, and scooped up a forkful of potatoes. “I banished her to the dungeon.” “I’m right here!” Cassie called from upstairs. Miranda rolled her eyes and Jason laughed. “Hi, Cassie!” he called. She leaned over the stair rail and waved. “Hi, Jason!” Then she caught sight of her sister’s irritated face. “I’m going. I’m going.” She disappeared back into her room, slamming the door behind her. Miranda smiled and stabbed at her green beans. “So what do you think of TECH?” Jason asked. “I love it. I can’t even tell you how much.” “Me too. I feel like I was born to do this.” “I agree. I think you were.” “And cars,” he added. “Something about tearing an engine apart is soothing.” Miranda paused. “Hmm, soothing for me is a cup of hot cocoa and my favorite book. But different strokes, I guess.” “I don’t know. You looked pretty good helping me bleed my brakes.” “That wasn’t fun,” she reminded him. “That was love.” He took the last bite of his food, adding, “It was love. As in, I loved seeing the grease on your hands.” She frowned, her gaze dropping to her hands at the memory. “That was actually disgusting.” Jason chuckled and balled up his napkin, leaving it on his plate. “Sorry, it’s what you signed up for with that whole Bonnie and Clyde thing.” “You’re saying you want me to help change the brakes out on your Porsche?” “Maybe not.”

“That’s what I thought.” She poked a green bean at him with her fork. “You should build your dream garage to work on your cars in.” “Someday I plan to. Or maybe take one of those yacht trips around the world. But right now, the money’s doing okay where it is, and TECH needs my attention.” He smiled, his lip catching on his crooked tooth. “Want to go walk by the lake?” “Yeah, let me change out of my heels.” “I knew you didn’t throw them out.” “Well, they have a short wear time. After an hour, I never want to wear them again.” She walked to the door barefoot and slipped on her flip-flops. He followed, grabbing her jacket off the hook and settling it around her shoulders. The lake was beautiful and quiet. Two swans paddled across a puddle of moonlight. Dark ripples followed them. “They’re still here,” Jason said, his voice hitching in surprise. “Yeah, I thought they’d be gone too. I actually had to go to the Farm-and-Feed to get duck pellets to feed them, poor little confused things.” She grabbed his hand. “Maybe they stayed just to welcome you home, Jason.” He drew her close, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Together, they walked down to the lake’s edge. Miranda leaned her head against his shoulder as the water quietly lapped near their feet. “Did you ever think we’d be here?” Miranda asked. “You mean back together?” She nodded and reached up to hold his hand. “Yeah, deep down, I always felt it. To be honest,” he paused and pressed his lips on the crown of her head, “I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

SPRING

“Y ou guys are going out again?” Cassie asked as Jason pulled into the driveway.

Miranda nodded and shrugged into her sweater. “I swear you haven’t quit smiling in three weeks.” Cassie squinted an eye at her sister, sighing. “Twitter-pated.” “Your turn is coming. Leif will be back before you know it.” Miranda said, before running upstairs for her shoes. Jason came up on the porch. Cassie gave him a cheeky smile as she greeted him at the door. “Dude, I feel like I need to be playing the dad role here. Where’s my shotgun?” She glanced playfully behind her. Miranda skipped past her and pulled Jason down the stairs. “Don’t bring her home too late, and don’t have too much fun!” Cassie yelled at her sister’s retreating back. “So, where are we going tonight?” Miranda asked as she hauled herself into the truck. “Where do you want to eat?” “I could eat anywhere, honestly.” “Okay, how about hamburgers?” Miranda wrinkled her nose. “Mmmm, except hamburgers. I had one for lunch.” “Oh, great—not this again,” Jason mumbled. Then, looked at her hopefully, “Tacos?” “Not really in the mood for tacos.” “That’s it. Your voting privileges are revoked. We’re going for pizza and bowling.” Jason winked at her. “I feel like living on the wild side. Now, come here.” He dragged her across the bench seat and kissed her. “You miss me?” “Just a little bit.” Jason smiled at her comment. “It’s those romantic words. They kill me every time.” She laughed and reached out to touch his lip with her thumb. “Man, I love your smile.” His eyebrows shot up, looking askance. “Really? I hate my teeth.” His tongue ran across them.

“Why? They’re so cute!” “This one right here.” He tapped his crooked tooth. “It’s like a fang. I feel like I’m half vampire.” Miranda laughed. “I like it. “Oh, yeah? Vell, come here. I vant to bite your neck.” He locked her in his arms and began nibbling her neck. She gave one girly squeal before breaking out into her trademark guffaw. He released her and shifted the truck into gear. “All right, let’s get out of here.”

Jason ate the last bite of his pizza and handed Miranda the crust. “Your favorite part.” “Mmm thank you!” she said, taking a big bite. “So you never mentioned. Is Dylan still at the dental office?” She shook her head. “No, he went back home to his family in Massachusetts after I broke it off. I guess you were right, he was just there for me. Don’t rub it in!” Miranda shook her head as Jason’s eyes lit up. “Besides, you don’t have to worry any more. I deleted him from my phone.” “You didn’t have to do that.” “To be honest, I didn’t do it for you. I needed a clean break from the both of you.” “What? You deleted my number too?” Miranda blushed. “I’m sorry! What can I say, I was done with men at that point.” Jason shook his head. He grabbed his phone and began scrolling. Finding what he was searching for, he passed it to Miranda. It was a text message from last November. Miranda gasped when she saw Dylan’s name. She glanced at Jason before reading again. Jason had written:— Thanks for the check, I’ll put it to good use at the Center. Dylan responded:—Thought I owed you something for the girl (Miranda sucked in her breath, feeling like she had firecrackers for blood.) —Miranda’s smarter than I was. She’ll figure it out and decide what’s best for her. —Took you long enough to tuck your tail and run —Just keep telling yourself that. At the end of the day, I’m happy with my life. She groaned at Dylan’s words and read them again. “Jason, you did so good. I don’t think I’d have had the self control.” She handed the phone back with a halflaugh. “To think, he was offering you money. Little did he know.” He tapped it thoughtfully before sliding it into his pocket. “Thanks. I think that was the moment I realized my self-worth couldn’t be wrapped up in what anyone thought. Or their judgments.” His eyes held hers.

“You’re pretty hot when you’re confident.” She cuddled up to him. In the far left corner of the restaurant, sirens blared and red lights flashed as some kid won a video game. “Now, you ready to have me kick your butt at bowling?” “Romantic words of poetry.” He grabbed the box of left-over pizza and took her by the hand. “It’s on, buttercup. I ain’t going to go easy on you this time.” They headed outside and rounded the corner to where his truck was parked by a large dumpster. Miranda jerked when she heard thumping from inside the container. Jason stared curiously at it. A second later a teenage boy popped out, holding a grease-stained pizza box. He gripped the metal sides of the dumpster with his free hand and hauled himself out. It wasn’t until he slid down the wall that he realized he was being watched. He offered them a shy smile, then bowed his head. The teen opened the box, revealing half eaten slices and quickly shoved one into his mouth. Miranda’s stomach dropped. “I’ve seen this kid out here before.” “Yeah me too.” Jason let go of her hand and walked over to the teen. “Hey, you doing okay?” The boy looked up and grinned again, displaying gapped and crooked teeth. “How are you doing, sir? I’m doing very good.” His voice was simple and slow. He hesitantly held the pizza box out to them. “It’s pepperoni. My favorite. You can have one.” Miranda closed her eyes as tears welled up. “Wow, that’s really nice of you.” Jason crouched next to him. “You’re kind of young to be out here. You have a home?” “Oh, I do, sir. It’s a good home. I live with Betsy and Bill. They like to sleep with me.” Jason’s eyes widened at the declaration, and he jammed his hands inside his flannel coat pockets. “Betsy and Bill, huh? Are they your friends? Family?” “Oh, they are very good friends sir.” The boy stood up. His sweat pants rose three inches above his ankles, a pale knee poking through a hole. His drab olivecolored coat showed dark charred marks up one arm. Miranda saw the bare skin of his bony wrists and her heart hurt. It was a cold night. “Good friends, huh? Do they know you’re out here?” The boy’s gaze seemed to swim in and out of focus. “Yes, sir, they do. I’m bringing pizza home for them.” It was then Miranda noticed a pile of old pizza boxes stacked on the ground next to him. “They like pizza, huh?” Jason continued. The boy nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, sir, they do. If I’m not careful they’ll eat it all.” “What’s your name?” “They call me Danny, sir. My name is Danny.” Each statement the teen made was underscored with the same open grin. “I’m Jason.” He held out his hand. Danny studied it for a second, then grabbed it

awkwardly and began to shake. “My name’s Danny. How do you do?” Jason grinned. “I’m good. Want to go get something to eat?” “And leave these? Oh, no, sir. I’d like a cheeseburger, but I must bring these back to my family.” Jason nodded. He bent and picked up the pile of boxes one by one. Danny watched him anxiously. “Good?” Jason asked when he stood. “Yes that’s a good haul for today. It’s a good day!” Danny pumped his fist in the air and danced in a circle, his feet nearly tripping over what appeared to be size thirteen sneakers. “Betsy and Bill will be happy tonight!” Jason handed them to Miranda. Danny’s forehead instantly creased in concern. Jason raised his hand. “Don’t worry, she isn’t taking them. She’s going to keep them safe while I get you a burger.” Danny’s anxiety visibly ratcheted up. He rocked from heel to toe and pulled on his coat sleeve. “She’s coming with us,” Jason said. Danny immediately calmed when he saw Miranda follow them with the pizza. The three of them walked down the street to the fast food joint. Jason ordered Danny several cheeseburgers and a couple of pints of milk. “Can we drive you home?” Jason asked. Danny stared at him suspiciously. “Momma always said don’t go with strangers in a car. I better not.” Jason nodded. “How about I walk you home? Help you carry this?” He gestured to the food. Danny’s simple face visibly brightened. “That sounds a-okay with me. And then you can meet Betsy and Bill.” His mouth turned down briefly in a frown. “But they might be shy. Yes, if they hear you, they might hide.” “Okay, I’ll be quiet.” Jason held a finger over his lips. “And if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.” Danny nodded again, happy with that resolution. “Four boxes of pizza! It’s going to be a great day today. Today is a great day!” Jason leaned over to Miranda and spoke quietly in her ear. “I’m not sure how safe it is. So stay with the truck and wait for my phone call.” “Lovely,” Miranda murmured. “What happens if you need help and can’t make a call?” Jason looked at her like she was silly. “Trust me. I’ve been in worst situations. I can take care of myself.” He winked and then headed up the sidewalk with Danny. The boy led Jason down an alley and they disappeared. The wind blew down the front of Miranda’s coat, the ground squelching under her feet from an earlier cold rain. She shivered and pulled the coat around her tighter as she unlocked the truck door. Once inside, she swiveled the knob for the heat and held her cold fingers close to the vent. An oldies song came on, making her smile. Jason suddenly had a new affinity for the 60s channel. It cracked her up

to watch him lip sync (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. She fished out her cell phone and began surfing Facebook. After a while, she checked on the time; just ten minutes had passed. It might be a long night. She flipped to her Kindle app and began investigating her top one hundred places to visit list. Thirty minutes later there was a tap on the window and Miranda stifled a scream. Jason motioned her to unlock the door. She clicked the button and he climbed in. “Wow,” he said, staring straight ahead. He shook his head and then glanced over at her. “I thought you were going to text me to pick you up?” “You couldn’t have gotten to me. We left the road just about there,” He indicated two buildings ahead. “He took me through a maze of buildings that eventually led to an overpass.” Jason blinked, still seemingly in disbelief. “Miranda, he lives under a bridge. He doesn’t even have half the stuff we had when we were homeless.” “What?” “Yeah, no tarp, no pots, no blankets. Just some cardboard boxes. Yet, he was really proud.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “His friends are animals. A stray cat and some black bird that appears for the pizza crusts.” “Oh, no.” Miranda was horrified. “How did this happen? Can you bring him back to TECH?” Jason shook his head. “He said he didn’t want to go.” They both sat there in silence. Miranda digested the news of the suffering of this homeless teen. “What do we do? Should we call the police?” “I’m not sure that would be the best thing. Tonight I want to get him some blankets.” “How about a tent?” “I’d love to do it,” Jason said. “But somehow, seeing how proud he was of the home he’d made…well, I think it would hurt his pride.” Jason started the truck and drove to Target. Once inside, Jason cautioned. “I don’t want to overwhelm him. I’m just going to get some basic camping gear and a warm sleeping bag.” “And a hat.” Miranda added. “Okay, a hat.” Jason agreed. “And maybe some new clothes? A new jacket?” “I don’t think he’d understand why we were giving it to him. He thinks what he owns is good enough.” Miranda nodded. “How about some fire starting stuff?” Jason’s eyes flickered with worry. “I don’t know. His coat was pretty scorched. I’m not sure how that happened, but giving him access to fire might not be a good thing. But we’ll figure out the next step soon. This is just for tonight.”

They quickly located what they needed in the camping aisle. On the way to the cash registers, Miranda snagged a Seahawks beanie from a display. Jason arched his eyebrow at it. “You better hope he’s a fan.” “He doesn’t have to keep it if he doesn’t like it,” she said matter-of-factly. They loaded the truck and Miranda drove them back to the alley. Jason pulled out the bags and tucked the sleeping bag under his arm. “Hopefully this is going to go well, and he doesn’t freak out when I show up uninvited.” With that, he headed behind the building. Miranda bit her thumbnail. The area was dark although she’d parked under the one remaining street light. She didn’t want to look to closely at the buildings, afraid to get spooked. She reached for the radio, but hesitated, feeling like she need things to be quiet, to listen, although she didn’t know what she was listening for. This is silly. Miranda opened Facebook. But she was so distracted, the posts blurred into a meaningless jumble. Jason finally walked out of the alley, a big smile lighting up his face. He drew closer and gave her a thumbs-up. “Everything went well?” she asked, a little breathless as he climbed in. “Yeah, well, Danny was shocked to see me again. Told me not to come any closer or he would sic his friend Bill on me. But he calmed down when he remembered who I was. “How could he even see you?” “He had a flashlight. Which reminds me, I need to get him some batteries. Anyway, he liked all the stuff. But guess what his favorite thing was?” “What?” “The beanie! Man, Miranda, you hit it out of the park with that one! He was so excited. Yanked it on his head right away and told me all about how they played last season.” “How does he know?” “I guess he watches the game where ever he can. Probably outside pub windows.” Miranda’s eyes glistened. Jason pulled the collar of her coat warmly around her neck, then brushed a tear off her cheek. “We’re a good team. I know this is hard. He’s going to be okay tonight. Tomorrow we’ll see what else we can do for him.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

SPRING

A few days later, Jason brought Danny to the TECH. The moment he saw the

teenagers bustling inside, Danny backed around the corner, too afraid to enter. Miranda stayed outside for a while and tried to coax him in. He’d grinned shyly and ducked his head. When Miranda brought him a peanut butter sandwich and some water, he pocketed them and walked away. They always knew where to find him. Every night he was outside the pizza place after it closed. Over time, they’d learned more about him. A former foster kid, he’d aged out of the system at the end of the school year on his eighteenth birthday. The crew at TECH exhausted all the resources they could find trying to find help for him. All the adult homes were full, or didn’t have openings for someone in his situation. Danny showed no interest in moving and when Jason brought out a catalogue of tents, he simply shook his head, confused. “Why do I want that, Jason? It might scare Bill. Bill doesn’t like new things. No sir, he does not.” “He might like this. Hey, here’s a spot Bill could rest on the top.” Danny studied the picture with a worried frown. He stood up. “Nope. Bill would not like that. No sir.” Jason gave up. He pulled out some new socks emblazoned with the Seahawks logo. “Okay, no worries. Hey, look what I found the other day.” Danny took them with a big grin, dropped to the floor right there and began untying his shoes. Even though his socks were in tatters, he carefully peeled them off. After laying them aside, he pulled the new ones on, yanking the blue and green socks right over the cuffs of his pants. Jason opened his mouth to mention something to him but Danny was so proud. “Look at my socks. WOW! I’m a real Twelve!” “Yes, you are, Danny. The Seahawks are lucky to have a fan like you.” He clapped Danny softly on the back. Jason hoofed it around the local businesses to see if anyone might be willing to give Danny a chance. He finally found a place, Hanger’s Bar and Grill, that offered Danny a part-time job. The Grill had been there for twenty-six years, with gouged tables and a dark

planked floor. The walls were stained a sticky yellow from years of cigarette smoke, although new laws made it illegal to light a cigarette within twenty feet of the door. The owner, Mike, was a crusty old man who always dressed in worn Carhartts. His back pocket had a permanent white circle from carrying a can of chew. “It’s just cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen. Nothing glamorous.” He spit. “Yeah, that’s fine.” Jason said. Later in the afternoon he rounded Danny up and walked him over to the Grill. “Nice socks,” was the first thing out of Mike’s mouth. Danny’s face reddened as his mouth stretched into an enormous grin. “I’m a real Twelve, sir.” “That’s great. You’ll fit in fine here. Think you can push a broom and wipe stuff down?” Danny nodded, his dark eyes following Mike’s every move. “Welcome aboard.” Mike held open the back door for Danny, following after him with a cursory wave to Jason. “I’ll come by tonight and check how it’s going,” Jason said and jumped down the cement steps.

That night, when Jason arrived he found Danny sitting in a wooden booth with a cheeseburger in front of him. The teen had on a new pair of jeans and a thick flannel jacket. Jason shot him a thumb’s-up and walked over to Mike standing behind the counter. “New clothes?” Jason tipped his head in Danny’s direction. “Kid earned it,” Mike said, wiping out a beer stein. “He’s a hard worker. He did a better job than my wife scrubbing the house on Easter morning when my mother is coming.” “That’s awesome news.” “Don’t go thinking I’m getting soft about the clothes.” He blinked, appearing exactly like a man with a soft spot. “I had some old stuff lying around.” Jason bit back a laugh. Danny was about six inches taller than Mike, although Mike probably outweighed him by fifty pounds. “I think this is going to work out. Not sure how to pay him though.” Mike set the stein on the counter and reached for another from the soapy water. “We’ll figure that out,” Jason said. “It’s kind of new for me too.” “The thing is, I do have a back room. Maybe he’d like to stay there. It’s still pretty cold outside at night. “ Jason sighed. “I’d love for that to work out. But we’ve got an issue to deal with because he doesn’t want to leave his pets.” “Pets?” “Yeah, he’s got a crow he calls Bill and a stray cat he feeds.”

Mike nodded his head and continued to wipe. “That would be a problem. Can’t imagine the health department being too excited about me having animals here.” “Yeah. It’s been something we’ve been trying to figure out.” Danny chortled along with the laugh track on the TV and took another bite of his hamburger. Jason squinted to see what he was watching. Saved by the Bell. He smiled, a kid after his own heart. “Listen, you find a home for his pets, and he’s got a place to stay. Easy as that,” Mike declared firmly. He loaded the glasses on the shelf behind him. Jason nodded. Not quite as easy as Mike was thinking. Jason thumped a double beat on the counter and stood to go talk with the teen. “Hey, Danny,” he said as he slid into the bench across from him. Danny pulled his gaze down from the TV long enough to say a quick, “Hello,” before his attention was drawn again by the laugh track. “You like working here with Mike?” “Yes, I surely do sir. It’s a good job. He’s a Seahawks fan.” Jason smiled. “I’m glad about that. I’m proud of you. You keep making me proud, okay?” Danny nodded as he chewed on a French fry. “And you know how to find me. You know where TECH is, right?” Danny shifted nervously on the bench and nodded. “You need me, come there. You don’t have to go inside. One of us will see you and come out. Okay? Deal?” He held out his hand to the teen. Danny looked at it a second, and grinned. “High Five!” He raised his hand to slap Jason’s. Quickly, Jason raised his hand to catch the slap. “All right, buddy. I’ll see you soon.” Jason lifted his hand and waved goodbye to Mike on his way back to his truck. Outside, his breath clouded in white. Jason pulled up his coat collar and hurried to his car. How am I going to get this kid indoors? In the truck he called Miranda. “Hey, babe. Good news, Mike and Danny seem to be getting along.” He went on to explain the housing idea Mike had and his concerns about Danny’s animals. Miranda said, “I have an idea.” Jason paused, all ears. “Is there any way we can convince Danny to reconstruct the cardboard home for the animals? We could make a cat bed, and a special bird stand just for them. And he can bring food and check on them every day?” Jason thought about it. “I don’t know how well he’d receive that suggestion from me. I’ll call Mike later and run it by him. Hopefully, as one Seahawks fan to another, he can do some convincing.” “All right. You’re doing a good job by the way.” Jason smiled in the darkness. “I don’t know if I’ve said it, but I’m so proud of you.” “Yeah, well, don’t get too proud yet. I don't know if this will work.” Jason

started the truck, quickly jumping to turn down the radio that blasted. “You’re doing the best you can. I think you’re awesome And you can’t stop me.” “I think you bring out the best in me.” “That’s not true, Jason. You did this on your own. You brought out the best in you.” Her voice was soft on the other end. He squeezed his eyes with his thumb and fore-finger. Wow, he was becoming a sap. “What are you doing right now?” Jason ran his hand over his chest, and smiled. He couldn’t wait to see Miranda. He hoped she’d like the surprised he had planned. “Me? Getting ready to eat dinner.” Jason groaned. “Tell me it’s not Toasty O’s.” In answer, Miranda crunched in his ear. He could imagine her smile. “I’ll be over in ten minutes. And I’ll bring Chinese. If,” he paused with a wicked grin, “you’re still hungry.” “Way to give a girl in a face mask and her pajama’s some warning. Make it fifteen, for crying out loud. I’m not a miracle worker here. And I like General Tsao’s,” she threw in before hanging up.

Twenty minutes later, he arrived at the house. “I come bearing gifts,” he announced, carrying the bags to the counter. She came around the corner fresh faced and in yoga pants. Jason reached for Miranda and tilted her head back for a kiss. She breathed in the woody scent of his cologne and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jason picked her up and set her on the counter, running his hands up her back. His hands traced the lines of her body until they rested at the curve of her neck. Stroking his thumb at the side of her cheek, he pressed against her, his mouth pushing her lips open, gentle, then firm. She shivered, so overwhelmed by his love, so taken away by the force of him, she felt she would surely come apart. “Where’s Cassie?” he murmured against her lips. “Studying upstairs,” she whispered back. “Good.” He pulled away still holding onto her waist. She gently brushed his hair off his forehead. His face grew serious, and he grabbed her hand and laid it over his chest. His heart beat wildly under her palm. Jason closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Miranda held her breath as she looked at him, her face losing color. “Is everything okay?” she gasped. His green eyes darkened as he stared intently at her. “I’ve got something to show you. I don’t want you to freak out.” Miranda swallowed and her spine stiffened. “Usually whatever follows, ‘don’t freak out,’ is never a good thing.”

Jason licked the corner of his lip. “I’m not saying it’s good or bad. It’s special. That makes it good. At least to me. But you don’t have to think it’s special. You don’t have to think anything about it at all.” “Wow, what a build-up, Jason.” Miranda slid off the counter and wrapped her arms around herself. “At this point I don’t know if I should run screaming, jump for joy, or be nonchalant. Way to give me a clue.” Jason gave a ghost of his half-smile. “Sorry. I’ve been thinking about this moment for a long, long time.” His hand caught hers and brought it to the hem of his shirt. Releasing it, he slowly drew his t-shirt up. Her eyes traveled up his toned abdomen, stopping on his chest. Over his heart was a tattoo of a curving “S” scroll, entwined with its mirrored twin. She traced it gingerly with her finger. He stared down at her, watching for her reaction. “It’s beautiful. What does it represent?” she asked. “They represent swans.” His eyes softened. “Maybe if you squint.” Her palm flattened over the tattoo and she squeezed her eyes tight. Don’t cry, don’t cry, she told herself, but there was no stopping her tears from spilling down her cheeks. “Jason.…” “Hey,” he tipped her chin up. “You know why I chose swans, right? From when we were kids.” She nodded her head, unable to answer over the lump in her throat. “Open your eyes. You’re worrying me.” Miranda opened them and stared up at him. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” A loud sigh escaped him and he crushed her to him. “Oh, thank God. I’ve been stressing you wouldn’t like it.” “Why wouldn’t I like it?” “Because they represent us.” His words caused her to suck in her breath and she surrendered to the tears. “You’re breaking me here, Jason.” “In a good way?” “Always. Always. Always.”

Chapter Thirty-Four

MAY

T he day couldn’t have been more beautiful. Birds chirped outside. Fat, pink

blossoms on the trees swayed in the gentle spring breeze. The dog barked nonstop. Miranda held her hands over her ears for a second. “Archer! Cool it! What is your problem?” He barked again and scratched at the window. Waddling up the lawn were the two summer swans. They’d left briefly only to return two months later. Archer was excited to see them, probably craving a feathery snack. She rolled her eyes. “Dude, not now. I have enough troubles.” Jason’s surprise birthday party was supposed to be in one hour. Cassie was with Jason, taking him on a rabbit trail of errands. Miranda smirked at the memory of the horror on his face when Cassie told him her plans. “Why do I have to go?” he’d complained. “How am I supposed to know what kind of spark plugs my car needs? This is your department, big brother. And while we’re out.…” her voice rambled on going over the list in her hand. He’d shot Miranda a look of pure misery as he trailed after Cassie to the car. From the rear of the house came a large, mechanical growl. Miranda jerked, her eyes wide, and immediately cringed. The noise erupted from the washing machine, sounding as though it was walking across the house towards her. A violent metalon-metal squeal cut off the growl. Heart in her throat, she sprinted to the laundry room. Her feet sloshed in water as she neared the laundry room. “Oh no, no, no. Not today!” she cried and threw open the door. Water gushed through the opening, a dustbin escaping on a sudsy tidal wake. “Mother of—” A sorrowful laugh escaped her. She clung to the doorframe, staring at the disaster. “I don’t think I have enough towels to soak this up…” she whispered. “I don’t think there are enough towels.” The washing machine gurgled again, and another gush of bubbly water exploded from beneath it. Her eye caught the electric vacuum still plugged in, it’s front end fully submerged, and traced the ripples back to her own feet. “Oh… this isn’t good.”

Miranda ran downstairs for the fuse box in the back entry way. She stepped over rows of Jason’s old boots and sidled next to the water heater where the box was located in the wall. Flipping open the silver door, she studied the breakers. The identifying words had long worn off of the labels, leaving greasy smears. She gritted her teeth in frustration and finally hit the full house breaker. The house fell into silence as the hum of the refrigerator ceased. Miranda jetted back through the living room and glanced at the clock. Her eyes widened. “I’m supposed to be there in twenty minutes!” she yelled, taking the stairs two at a time. Halfway up she slipped on the wooden step and crashed on her shin. Collapsing into a ball, she cursed silently, holding her leg. When the pain finally subsided she moved her hand to look. A long strip of skin rolled up like a parchment along the shinbone. Miranda closed her eyes. “Wow. Just freaking wow.” Archer padded up the stairs and sniffed at her injury. “Yeah, now you want to help,” she muttered. Pulling herself up with the banister, she limped back to the laundry room. It was dark in the room with the power off. She sloshed toward the machine. Running her hand along the wall behind it, she located the shut off valve and quickly turned it off. Splashing back, she raced to the linen closet and emerged with armfuls of towels. Not even close to being enough. On the second trip to the linen closet she raked out the sheets, pillowcases, hand towels and even wash cloths. “Swimming in the river; sun on my head.” The lyrics to the song popped in her head and she instantly sang them. Girl, you are cracking up. Miranda threw the linens down on the water. How lovely that everything we own is now gross and dirty. She narrowed her eyes at the broken washing machine. And no way to clean them. As she soaked up the last of the water, she glanced at the clock and saw it was already fifteen minutes past the hour. Her leg throbbing, she hurried down the hall to her bedroom. Miranda yanked open a drawer to reveal a pair of jeans—paint-splotched from a house project—and two t-shirts. “Might have been a pinch behind in the laundry this week,” she muttered, pulling out the sock drawer. “Maybe this month,” she amended, throwing a thin-lipped smile to Archer. “Well. It won’t be hard to find something to wear.” Miranda tugged the clean shirt on and eased the pants over her injured leg. She brushed her hair back and secured it with a ponytail holder, a few short pieces falling around her face. “No time for make-up today, Archer. I’m going out looking like the walking dead. Happy. Birthday. Boyfriend.” Pinching her cheeks, she grimaced at the mirror. “Hopefully all eyes are on him.” She shoved her feet into a pair of sandals and scampered down the stairs. “Now where’s my purse?” The living room was gloomy and dark with the power off. The clock chimed the half-hour, and another colorful word flew out of her mouth. Calm down. Cassie isn’t going to bring him until she hears from you.

Racing out to the Jeep, she heard her phone buzz. She juggled it out, nearly dropping it as she unlocked the Jeep door. Jason’s friend, Doug, wrote—Where are you? “For crying out loud!” she yelled, knuckles turning white as she gripped the phone in a shaking hand. She jumped into the car. Flipping down the sun visor yielded a shower of hiking maps. “Not now one-hundred top list!” she shouted, and shoved them to the floor. As she backed up the Jeep, she attempted the voice to text application. “I’m so sorry I’m late! Disaster here, but I’m on my way.” She read the screen. “Sorry I’m late, Dinosaur here in my way.” “Thanks Siri.” Miranda rolled her eyes and hit Send. Doug was just going to have to figure it out. She didn’t have time to fix it. Miranda whipped the Jeep onto the highway. Fifteen minutes later, her exit came up. Finally, with a gasp of relief, she pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot. Lovely! The lot was already filled with cars she recognized. Don’t freak out, just suck it up. She tucked the stray hairs back around her ears and opened the door. Her purse fell face down on the parking lot tarmac. Miranda stared at it for a second. Kill-me-now. Biting off a scream, she chased after Chapstick, pens, and wallet, shoving them back into the purse. She snapped it shut and slammed the jeep door. The maître d’ held the door for her as she sprinted for the entrance. “Hi!” she smiled. “I’m here for a party. I know I’m so late.” “Don’t worry.” He nodded. “You didn’t miss the guest of honor.” Oh thank you, Cassie! Miranda grinned, pulling out her phone as she followed the maître d’ into the banquet room. She quickly texted—Bring Jason, I’m here! The maître d’ opened the doors and, with a flourish of his arm, ushered her in. The room was quieter than it should have been, so filled with people. “Hi guys!” she squealed, spying her friends. “You freaking can’t believe the day I’ve had. I’m sorry I’m late, but we did it! He’s going to be so surprised.” Her eyes caught the displays on the tables, and icy fear rushed through her veins. What are all these red roses here for? She whirled around to the maître d’, her hand on her forehead. “Something’s the matter. Do you have us in the wrong room? We’re supposed to have a bunch of Over-the-Hill balloons!” He nodded at her words but made no reply. Confused she spun back to the group. “You guys! This is all wrong!” She waved her hands at the flowers. I shouldn’t have trusted Jason’s friends to decorate. I freaking knew this would happen if I wasn’t here. “Quick! Hide them before he gets here!” Jason’s work buddies, Doug, even Claudia stared at her with blank faces. Slowly, the crowd parted, and Jason came forward, his mouth curled into a halfgrin. Miranda stopped, open mouth and speechless. “What the—?” “Hi, my love,” he said, his voice low and husky. Miranda’s gaze flashed around at the crowd. “What’s going on?” Cassie waved, her face split by a huge smile. Got you! she mouthed. Several

people clapped. Some chuckled softly. Her blue eyes fastened back on Jason. Suddenly she felt silly. He walked up to her, and she raised her hand to his cheek. “What are you doing here, Jason?” “You’re so beautiful.” Miranda raised her hand self-consciously to her frowsy hair. “Oh, crap! I forgot! I look like a werewolf!” He laughed and cupped the back of her head, resting his forehead against hers. Slowly, he drew her closer in for a long kiss. A few whistles rose around them. Jason pulled away and whispered again. “You’re gorgeous.” Miranda smiled. “You make me feel beautiful.” He took a twist of her hair and wound it lightly around one of his fingers. Gently he tickled the wisp across her nose. “What we have is real. More real than anything else in my life. I want it to last forever. You are my best friend, my rock, and the love of my life. My Bonnie. I’m never letting you go again.” He bent down to one knee and pulled a velvet box from his pocket. “Miranda—” She gasped and covered her mouth. Jason reached out his hand to her and Miranda grasped it and fell to her knees next to him. He gave his half smile, showing his crooked tooth. “You’re suppose to remain standing, hun.” “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be,” she whispered, squeezing his hand tightly. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. “You are my heart. I don’t know what life has in store for us, but I do know we will always climb those mountains together. Sometimes you’ll be pulling me, and sometimes I’ll be pushing you.” A few quiet laughs filled the air around them. “One thing I know for sure is, I can’t live my life without you. Will you marry me?” She nodded without speaking, her eyes locked on his. He snapped open the box to reveal a simple white gold ring with a diamond solitaire. On each side of the setting, the slender necks of two swans, in the shape of an S, reached up to support the diamond. Miranda drew in her breath, her eyes glistening. He slipped it on her finger and pulled her to him. Slowly they kissed, his arms wrapping tightly around her. “I love you, Miranda.” “I love you so much, Jason. Partners in crime forever.” “And ever, and ever,” he murmured back.

The End Thank you for reading! For Book One, free through kindle unlimited, click hereWrecked and Yours For my list of other books, including true stories of my own homelessness, click here- CeeCee James Author Page

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