Table of Contents CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHA...
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Table of Contents CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN Epilogue
The Deadbeat Next Door By
Katharine Sadler
Kindle Edition Copyright © 2017 by Katharine Sadler All Rights Reserved.
Table of Contents CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN Epilogue ABOUT THE AUTHOR ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHAPTER ONE Carrie “Have you read The Hunger Games?” Jonas asked. He was seated across from me at Vince’s Italian and Barbecue restaurant, my date for the night. He was a librarian and he was cute in a boyish, Peter Pan sort of way. He should have been perfect for me. He was everything I was looking for in a man. He was employed, he valued education and books, and he loved kids. “I’m a ninth-grade English teacher,” I said, since he hadn’t asked. He hadn’t asked a single question about me or revealed a single thing about himself, yet. Not during the fifteen-minute car ride, not during the endless bread sticks, and not over our entrees of pasta. “I have definitely read The Hunger Games.” He smiled, his eyes a bit glazed. I imagined he was in a food coma, having just inhaled his meal, chicken parmesan, in less than five minutes. I wondered if he had a detachable jaw like a snake, because I could imagine no other way he’d managed to fit that much food in his mouth at one time. “I like the part where she’s in the woods and
she’s talking to the guy. There’s so much character depth there.” “Sure is.” I had no idea what scene he was referring to and I really didn’t care. My students could give a better book report with their eyes glued shut. Jonas had, it seemed, read every book ever written and wanted to discuss each of them in turn. I’d tried, at first, to engage in the conversation, until I realized he really didn’t want or care about my opinion. “The author is quite talented in her ability to juxtapose fight scenes with meaningful character development.” Awww, he used the word juxtapose correctly in a sentence, I should marry this guy. Except I’d probably murder him in his sleep and spend the rest of my life in jail. The waitress appeared and dropped the check, split at Jonas’ request, on the table. I grabbed my purse, signed my credit card slip and stood. “Well, thank you for a lovely evening, Jonas. I’m ready to go.” He stared up at me, his eyes round. He’d been talking and I’d interrupted him. My mother would say my lack of manners was to blame for my singlestatus. I would argue with her and point out that having sole guardianship of my darling nephew Harrison for most of my early twenties was more likely to blame, but my mother hated to be
contradicted, much like my date, so I didn’t bother. “I thought we might sit and discuss books for a bit longer,” he said. “I’d really rather you just take me home.” “Okay.” He reached for the check with the speed of a sloth on tranquilizers and signed it like he was encased in glue. When he looked up at me, his blue eyes were lit with a new glow. He really did have the prettiest eyes I’d ever seen. “Would you like to come back to my place?” “No. I want to go home alone. You seem like a really nice guy, but I don’t want to see you again.” That sounded harsh, but I felt no shame or embarrassment. I’d been on twenty dates in the past eighteen months and every one had been worse than the last. I’d found that being blunt, upfront, and honest was the only way to handle a bad date. It was best not to let the guy think he had a chance of changing my mind. Jonas’ cheeks reddened and he frowned. He huffed out a sigh and stood. “Maybe you should find your own ride home.” I considered my options. He worked with my best friend, Dilly, and I could use her as the leverage I needed to get him to stop being an ass and take me home, but I didn’t really feel like spending even a minute longer with him. “That’s fine,” I said. “Have a nice night, Jonas. I’m sure I’ll see you at the library.”
My easy acceptance of his refusal to drive me home only seemed to make him angrier. “Just don’t expect me to clear any more of your late fees,” he said. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” He and his pretty eyes stormed out and I made my way to the bar. I sat at an empty stool, ordered a martini, and called Dilly. “I take it the date didn’t go well,” Dilly said, when she answered. She’d had such high hopes for me and Jonas. I should have gone with my instinct, and the fact that I’d never had even a single butterfly flutter in the guy’s presence, and turned down the date. “He stranded me at Vince’s,” I said. Dilly sighed. “I told him not to take you out to eat.” I sipped my martini and swallowed the urge to scream at my best friend, because I knew she meant well. Dilly and I had been best friends since pre-school and she always meant well. “So you were aware of his supernatural ability to fit an entire bowl of pasta in his mouth in one bite?” Dilly snort-laughed. “He’s not that bad, Carrie. Did you ever think maybe you’re too picky?” “He talked about books the entire time.” “You love books.” “He didn’t even ask me where I work.” “That’s because I already told him. He was
probably just nervous. He’s a really good guy when you get to know him.” “A really good guy who stranded me at Vince’s.” I bit my lip to stop myself from growling at her. It wasn’t her fault. “Please, just come get me.” “I’ll be there in fifteen.” I hung up and put my phone on the bar top. I rubbed my temples and took a sip of my drink. I just wanted to go on one date where I wasn’t counting the minutes until I got home, just one date where I felt some sort of attraction to the man sitting across from me. Was that too much to ask? Okay, so I also wanted to meet Mr. Right and get married and have four kids, so I had to have high standards. Standards were a good thing. Not a bad thing. Never a bad thing. “Is that what you wore?” I heard Dilly before I saw her. Her razor-sharp laughter and high-volume words were hard to miss. I loved her, I really did, but she had so much energy and attacked every aspect of her life with such enthusiasm, and I wasn’t…I just wasn’t the same. I liked to take my time, to move through life quietly and to draw less attention. Sometimes, she just made me feel tired and decades older than her. Maybe it was because I’d been born twelve years after my only sister when my parents were fifty, or maybe it was because I’d spent the best years of my twenties
raising my nephew. Probably a combination of both. I spun on my stool to see Dilly in a pair of fuzzy pajama pants and a tank top, her hair up in messy bun on top of her head, no make-up on her small, delicate face. To look at her, you’d think she was a china doll, too fragile to touch. And then she’d speak and shatter the illusion. “Dilly,” I said. “It’s like thirty degrees out, where’s your coat?” She grinned and climbed onto the stool next to me. “I rushed out of the house without it so I could save your ass.” She ordered a virgin strawberry daiquiri - Dilly never drank if she was driving - and spun to face me. “Can we please talk about what you’re wearing? I told you, no sweater sets on first dates.” I looked down at my slate-colored slacks and my pink sweater set. “It’s chilly and I wanted to look nice.” “You look like my eighty-year-old grandmother,” she said. “Where are the clothes we bought on our last shopping trip?” “In my closet.” I sipped my drink and pretended her words didn’t hurt. Dilly had taken me shopping, but she hadn’t listened when I told her I preferred my clothes not to be skin-tight and revealing. She said she was trying to dress me for my age, but she was really just trying to dress me
like her. “I like this outfit, I feel comfortable in it.” “Yeah, yeah,” she said. “So, will you see Jonas again?” I gave her a look. We knew each other well enough that words weren’t necessary. She frowned. “I’m sorry. I really thought you would like him.” I softened. Maybe it was time I started saying no to set-ups and blind dates. “I think I’m ready to try one of those dating sites you’ve been harassing me about.” “I don’t harass,” she said. “I suggest. Graciously.” “Riiiggghhhhttt. I just want a date who at least pretends he’s excited to be out on a date with me. Is that too much to ask?” “You said the funeral director was excited to be out with you.” “He was just excited to have a captive audience to tell about embalming techniques.” She grimaced. “I’m all for the dating sites, Carrie, but maybe…Maybe you need a break from dating. You’ve had extraordinarily bad luck. I mean I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a maggot farmer, but somehow you found him and dated him.” “He was actually the nicest guy in the bunch. I introduced him to Harrison and they still get together once in a while to talk bugs.” My nephew
wanted to be a bug scientist after college. Dilly shuddered. “So what was wrong with him?” “Well, he still lives with his parents for one thing, but the biggest problem was that his idea of a good time was going out and singing karaoke really, really badly. He thinks he’s a great singer and I just didn’t have the heart to tell him he’s not. Plus, there was zero physical attraction.” “Right.” Dilly spun on her seat so that she was facing me, her knees against my thighs, her face animated in a way that was never, ever good news for me. “You’ve gone out with how many men since Harrison went to college and you decided it was finally okay to have a man over?” “Twenty.” Was it weird I knew that number off the top of my head? It was probably weird, but I’d been keeping track, because I believed in the law of averages and my run of bad luck could only last so long. The last guy I’d dated and actually liked was Larry Whitmore in college. He’d dumped me after two months because I never had time to do more than have sex and fall asleep on him every three days or so. He felt I was using him, and didn’t believe me when I tried to explain I was just busy with work and trying to get my degree early so I could get a place and have Harrison live with me. Come to think of it, Larry Whitmore was kind of a jerk, too. “You think I’m cursed, don’t you?” Dilly
wasn’t a crazy person, or a believer in magic or fairies, but she had a thing about curses. She nodded, her eyes wide. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. Have you pissed anyone off or dumped some poor guy who didn’t deserve it?” “If I found some guy to date who didn’t deserve to be dumped, I’d marry his ass before he got away.” She snapped her fingers. “That’s it! You’ve cursed yourself.” “I don’t think—” She shook her head. “Love is a delicate, finicky magic of its own, and—” “You don’t believe in magic.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t believe in magic like woo-woo fairies and disappearing unicorns.” She waved her hands around to demonstrate fairies flying. “And I—” “Excuse me,” a man said. He was old enough to be my father. “No, we don’t need a drink and we’re not giving you our numbers,” Dilly said. “I just want to talk to my girlfriend, here.” “That’s great,” the man said. “But what I just want to know if you’ll be leaving soon. Your drinks are finished and the restaurant’s got an hour wait for a table, I was hoping to get a seat at the bar.” Dilly’s eyes widened even more. “Oh, no. Your curse is rubbing off on me.”
I laughed at her fearful expression and jumped off my stool, pulling her with me. “We’re leaving,” I said. “Sorry about my friend.” The man shrugged and thanked us for the seats. I dragged Dilly out of the restaurant and to her car. We got into our seats and she started the engine and backed out. “What I was trying to say,” she said. “Is that love is a real-life kind of magic, you know. If you want it too much or you try too hard to grab it, it will slip right through your fingers.” “So you don’t think I should sign up for dating sites?” She chewed on her lower lip, thinking it over. “I don’t know. Maybe just give it a couple of weeks. Don’t date or even think about dating, give the bad juju a chance to clear out.” “You secretly believe in Tinkerbell, don’t you?” “Of course not,” she said. “Fairies aren’t real.” Then she gasped and shook her head. “I don’t mean it.” At the stoplight, she clapped her hands three times and swore she did believe. “Just in case,” she said to me. “I don’t want any deaths on my hands.” “Of course.” “So maybe I’m a bit of a superstitious, magicbelieving nut,” she said. “But it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. You need a break. Spend some time
decorating your house the way you want it, focus on your job, and forget men.” She parked on the street in front of my house. “You’re right,” I said. “I could definitely use a break from bad dates.” Dilly wasn’t listening to me. She was staring though the windshield at my neighbor, Cody, who was strolling down his driveway to his truck, dressed up like he had somewhere fun to go. My traitorous heart picked up its pace like it wanted him. Which was ridiculous. I didn’t want him. He was too tall and too muscley and too…Just too rugged. He was the kind of guy who opened beer bottles with his teeth and had just barely graduated seventh grade. Definitely not the kind of guy to build a life with. “Who is that?” Dilly asked. “And why weren’t you out with him instead of Jonas?” Dilly was a true friend. She was as single as I was, but she didn’t even consider calling dibs on Cody. She looked out for me and had since she’d punched Milly Freedman for stealing my cupcake in kindergarten. “Because he’s a raging asshole,” I said. “He has no respect for neighbors and he accused me of having no manners.” Dilly mock gasped. “The monster.” I gave her a light shove on the shoulder and she pretended to be hurt. “Thanks for the ride home,” I said.
“Of course, baby. You’ll always be my girl.” She leaned in and we exchanged air kisses. I hopped out and waved as she pulled away from the curb. “Let me guess,” Cody’s rumbly, gruff voice washed over me and made all my joints go a bit loose and melty. He gave great voice. “You’re just coming back from a DAR meeting.” And then he had to ruin it. I spun and faced him. He smirked. I glared. He grinned. “No? Librarian’s convention? Cotillion committee? Knitting group?” Oh, if only he knew how much I’d love to join a knitting group, but there weren’t any in Catalpa Creek, not that I’d found. Dilly said I should start one, but I was more of a follower than a leader. Starting a group meant caring if no one showed up and bringing the refreshments, way too much hassle. “Are you making fun of my outfit?” He crossed his stupid muscled arms over his stupid carved chest. “I didn’t say anything about your outfit. I’m just making conversation.” “I was on a date,” I said, straightening my shoulders and holding my head high. Cody was an ill-mannered, low-class jerk who clearly spent too much time in the gym instead of bettering his life and his situation with a job. His brown eyes crinkled around the edges
when his smile widened. “You date women?” I stared at him for a moment, before I understood. “That was my friend, Dilly. She was just giving me a ride home. The date was wonderful.” I didn’t feel bad about lying. I owed this man nothing. Our previous interactions had amounted to me a hill of beans, annoying, rude, tasteless beans. The first time we’d interacted, I’d introduced myself and he’d given me his name in exchange, before his phone rang and he turned away from me without a word. The second time I saw him, it was because Norma Jane had called me to tell me that he was mowing his lawn, topless. She has a heart condition and found his shirt-less state too exciting. I suggested she move away from the window, but watching the comings and the goings of the neighbors out that window was one of her great pleasures. So, I asked him to put a shirt on and he must have thought I was hitting on him, because he got really close and said I ought to use the manners my mama taught me and say please. I explained that the request was from Norma Jane, but he insisted on me using the magic word. I did and he put a shirt on. When he was outside power washing his back deck at five in the morning, I asked him to wait until a decent hour and may have been a bit testy. I’m an early riser, but five is ridiculous. He again accused me of having no manners. Which brought us to the most recent
incident when he was outside washing his truck with the music blaring. I asked him to turn it down, in an admittedly rude way, and my nephew, who was visiting me at the time, had words with him when he turned the music up, instead of down. Most damning of all, in my opinion, was that he had guests at all hours of the day and night, many of them noisy and drunk. And it was never the same people. He was a revolving door of strangers, mostly women, and I didn’t want to become one more random woman he tried to ‘party’ with. That just wasn’t me. I glared at him and spun to go inside, but he grabbed my elbow and spun me back around. Acting entirely on instinct and the self-defense class I’d taken last summer, I balled the fist of my free hand and punched him as hard as I could in the gut. He dropped my elbow, huffed out a surprised gasp, and clutched his stomach. “I’m sorry,” I said, appalled by my violent reaction. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but you grabbed me and I…I just reacted.” He winced and rubbed his flat belly. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you. I’m sorry.” He looked sincere. He looked genuinely contrite and I…I was a big marshmallow of a softhearted softy. “It’s okay. Just don’t grab me again.” “I think we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot,” he said. “I’m Cody Reynolds, and I’m really not
the dickhead I seem.” I pulled in a deep breath. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Carrie Harrison, your new neighbor. I would have brought you a welcoming gift, but you’re kind of a jerk.” His laugh was deep and masculine, but also warm. The kind of laugh that made me want to laugh along. His eyes glittered with amusement and crinkled at the outer edges. “I’ll try to be a better neighbor.” “I knew you were trouble from the moment I saw you.” I meant for the words to come out serious, but they came out a bit breathy, and flirty, my stomach still doing flips from his laugh. His eyes brightened and his smile changed into something softer and…kinder. He glanced across the street. “It looks like we have an audience.” I turned to see our elderly neighbor, Betty, on her front porch, all her attention on us. “Don’t we always.” Our neighbors on all sides were elderly, seventy or older, retired, and huge gossips. Most of them were my parents’ age and wonderful and fun, but Betty hated me. She’d always disliked me, because she was a bit cranky and sad, but since I’d turned down a second date with her funeraldirector grandson, her dislike had turned to loathing. “Would you like to come inside and continue our conversation away from spying eyes.”
“I’m not sleeping with you.” I winced. “Sorry, I’ve had some bad dates and I’ve found it’s best to be upfront.” He laughed again. “I like a woman who knows what she wants and is clear about it. Would you like to come in if I promise to keep my hands off you? I’d like to make up for my past rudeness.” My cheeks heated. “I think I should apologize, too,” I said. “We definitely got off on the wrong foot. I’d love to see inside your house, it’s the prettiest one on the block.” He offered me his arm, but I hesitated. It was clear I’d been mistaken when I thought he was a total Neanderthal, but that didn’t mean I was ready to touch him. Based on the way my body had reacted to his laugh, touching him could be deadly. “You look like you’re about to head out,” I said. “I don’t want to keep you.” He shook his head. “I was just going to go out to the local bar to have something to do. I’m not so good sitting around by myself.” “Ah,” I said. “The life of the party.” I took his arm and he started down the driveway. I kept my touch light, but the feel of his strong, well-muscled arm warmed me in surprising and not unpleasant ways. “I just like to be social.” There was a bite to his tone, like he was defensive. “Don’t you like to be social? Or do you prefer to sit home alone every
night? You don’t seem to give your dates much of a chance to convince you to do anything else.” What. The. Hell? I pulled my hand from his arm. “My date stranded me at Vince’s Italian and Barbecue, after giving me a book report on every book he’d ever read and not letting me get more than a couple of words in.” I admit my tone was also a bit snippy, but he’d started it. “He stranded you?” Cody asked, his expression darkening. “What kind of douche bag would do something like that?” “In his defense,” I said, softening a bit at Cody’s obvious outrage on my behalf. “I told him before he left the restaurant that I wouldn’t be seeing him again and I certainly wouldn’t be going back to his place tonight.” Cody stomped up the stairs and onto his porch. I followed, a little worried he might stomp a hole right through the dark wood. I hoped his security deposit for the rental was substantial. “I don’t care if a woman tells a man to his face that his dick is tiny and he’s got crocodile breath, he doesn’t strand her and storm off like a toddler having a tantrum. Who is this douchebag?” Oh, if only he knew that being stranded at Vince’s wasn’t the worst thing that had happened to me in the past eighteen months of terrible dates. The worst was probably the guy who’d said he had to go to the bathroom and disappeared, leaving me
to pay the hundred dollar check he’d racked up. “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I called Dilly and she picked me up and brought me home.” “Like hell it doesn’t matter,” he said. “No man should treat any woman that way.” He opened his front door and ushered me inside. I took a moment to admire the open floorplan, the box beam ceilings, and the hardwood floors. There were comfy looking leather couches in the living room and a huge dining room table that could seat twelve. There was no clutter, no evidence of a person living there, not even a dust bunny. The place was immaculate, except for wine bottles and wine glasses on the dining room table and on the kitchen island arranged like they were decorations. It was clear where this guy’s priorities lay. “Not planning to stay long?” I asked, gesturing at his sparse furnishings. His gaze was so intense I looked down at the floor, the lovely, buttery golden hardwood floor. “Carrie, please just promise me you won’t let anymore guys treat you that way. Where did you find this loser anyway?” Okay, so he had a point. He had a lot of points, but I hated being told what to do and I hated the way he was looking at me like I was a pathetic idiot. “I didn’t let him treat me that way,” I said. “Would it have been better if I’d gotten in his car and let him take me home and then had to deal with
his tantrum?” Cody ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “God, no. But just…Maybe just don’t date another asshole like that.” “Great advice,” I said, my annoyance ramping up. “But the entire point of dating is figuring out if I like someone enough to see them again, right? How would you recommend I avoid the assholes? Not date at all?” “Hell yes,” he said, his voice rising. “It’s not safe for you out there.” “Not safe for me?” I asked. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I’ve been doing it my whole life. And trust me when I say who I date and how they treat me is none of your concern. You’ve certainly given me no indication that you know anything about taking care of anyone or anything.” His head swung back and he just stared at me for a minute, stunned. I felt a little bit bad, but I did not appreciate his condescending attitude. He couldn’t even afford to buy furniture. He had no business telling me how to live my life. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m being a jerk again. I’m sorry.” Now it was my turn to stare because his words shocked the ever-loving spit out of me. “It’s okay,” I said. “It’s been a rough night.” “And I just made it worse,” he said, his expression softening. “Would you like a tour of the
house? A beer? I’ve got a pie in the fridge from Anne down the street.” Anne made the best pies, but exhaustion and sadness washed over me. I was standing in the foyer of a beautiful house arguing with a guy who had the manners and breeding of a wild boar. “Thanks, but maybe some other time,” I said. “I’ve got papers to grade at home.” “You’re a teacher?” He looked genuinely interested. God, it had been so long since a man had asked me about myself and looked genuinely interested. It did something to me, made me want things, but he wasn’t the guy to want things with. I wanted a family and he was the life of the party. I liked old-time jazz music and he liked classic rock. I liked to knit and he liked to mow the lawn practically naked. I didn’t have time to waste on a gorgeous guy who would only distract me from my goals. “Yeah,” I said. “Ninth-grade English.” His smile was soft and sweet. “I bet all the guys are in love with you and all of the girls want to be you.” That made me laugh. “Clearly, you’ve forgotten what it was like to be a teenager. I’m the old lady who makes them put their phones away and pay attention when what they really want to do is flirt with each other.” “You don’t even know how fucking gorgeous
you are, do you?” I could feel myself getting sucked in by his flirty charisma and charm and I knew it wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. I wasn’t the sexy, beautiful woman he said I was. I was the little girl who’d had to grow up too fast because her parents expected her to be independent and her sister died too young, leaving them a bit broken. I was the girl who worked her way through college because there was no time to party when she knew her nephew was being destroyed piece by piece by his monster of a father. I was the girl who’d had to be a mom before she was ready, but now wasn’t quite sure how to be anything else, how to be alone without someone who needed to be cared for. “I don’t think you see me clearly at all,” I said, wishing I was wrong, even as I acknowledged how ridiculous that wish was. “I need to get home.” “I blew it, didn’t I?” he asked. “You still hate me?” I wished I could hate him, that would be easier. “I just think it’s better if we’re neighbors who say hello and that’s it.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and took a step back. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” I walked out of his house and back to mine, feeling a bit like I’d lost something important.
CHAPTER TWO Cody I pushed myself out of bed the next morning at the sound of my alarm and headed out for my run before I was even fully awake. I’d slept like shit, my brain like a possessed television playing the same scene from a movie over and over. I’d blown it with my gorgeous neighbor and I felt like a total ass. I knew she was right. I could see from a mile away that she was the kind of woman looking for forever. And she was right that I was just a party boy looking for a good time. I might be trying to change, but I knew I was nowhere near ready for her. And yet, I hadn’t been able to keep my distance. I’d wanted to make it up to her for being rude to her, but somehow, I’d not only pissed her off again, but I’d made her sad to boot. She’d felt so good, tucked against me as we walked toward my house. And then she’d told me what that asshole did and it lit me up like the fourth of July. I was fucking furious. No one should treat any woman that way, but especially not Carrie. She might forget her manners around me, but anyone could see she was kind and thoughtful. She was
always visiting with our neighbors, even cranky, ancient Betty. I wanted to find that idiot who stranded her and smash his face in. First, I should probably smash my own face in. I seemed to make a habit of saying all the wrong things around her and I was the guy, fuck-up in all other ways that I might be, who always said the right thing, especially to women. I was groggy and running slower than I should, so I pushed myself to pick up the pace and stop ruminating about a woman who was all wrong for me. I was finally getting up to speed when I saw someone running toward me. The sun was behind her, but it definitely looked like a woman and there was only one woman I knew of in my neighborhood who went jogging every morning even earlier than I did. The prospect of seeing her motivated me to speed up. I pasted on a friendly smile just as I moved into the shadow of a house and Carrie came into full view. Her cheeks were flushed red and her shoulder-length, blond waves were pulled up in a ponytail, many strands rebelling to fall around her face. And she was wearing…My feet stopped moving and my lungs froze until I was pretty sure I was going to die. She was wearing calf-length, skintight workout pants and a pink sports bra and… nothing else. Damn, I was not going to survive this. Usually
she wore yoga pants and baggy t-shirts to run, but the morning was unseasonably hot so I guess…She ran closer, her breasts bouncing just the tiniest bit, luscious cleavage on full display. I’d known she was gorgeous in the prim and proper outfits she usually wore, but I’d been completely unprepared for her body. She was hot as all fuck, with goodsized breasts, a tiny, trim waist, displaying tight ab muscles, that flared out to hips and a…I spun to check out her ass as she passed me, but she’d already stopped beside me. “Are you okay?” she asked. I was still having a bit of trouble catching my breath and all my blood was rushing down to my very large and impressive favorite body part, making it impossible to think. Shit. I’d been around plenty of hot women in my time and managed to act like a functioning adult, but here I was popping a boner in the middle of the street at the sight of Carrie practically naked. What had this woman done to me? I waved her off, hoping she wouldn’t notice my little problem. “I’m fine,” I said. “Just a cramp. Don’t stop your workout.” She gave me a concerned look, her lips pursed, and all I could think about was those lips wrapped around my favorite body part, her head bobbing. And now my dick was bobbing, like a puppy hoping for a treat. “I could help you stretch,” she said. I was going to pass out right there on the street.
There was no blood left in my brain. “I’m good.” I tried to run away from her, like I was just getting back to my workout, but I’d forgotten about the curb and I tripped off the edge of it and onto my ass. “Oh, no,” Carrie said, her voice like a caress. She bent over me, her cleavage on full display and offered me a hand up. “Are you okay?” God, this woman had no idea what she did to me. Last night she practically ran out of my house and now I couldn’t get rid of her. She was too kind and caring for her own good. “I’ll be fine.” I twisted away from her offered hand to hide an erection that was way too visible in my workout shorts. I pushed to my feet, my back to her and tried to get myself under control. I ran through my to-do list for the day in my head, but it couldn’t compete with images of a naked Carrie my imagination was conjuring. She huffed. I swear I could feel her breath on the back of my neck and it did not help. “Quit being so stubborn and just let me help.” I don’t know what came over me, all my blood had left my brain and I wasn’t thinking clearly. Plus, if I turned and she saw what my real problem was, she would never speak to me again. She would probably write me off as a pervert and rightfully so. “You want to help?” I asked. “Just go. Stop talking to me, stop breathing on me, and stop standing
there half-naked.” I heard a sharp intake of breath, but when I turned, ready to apologize, she was already running away from me. Damn it, why did I have to be such a jackass? “Why are you so mean to that sweet girl?” Norma Jane asked from her front porch, where she’d apparently been watching the whole exchange. I shook my head and angled my body away so Norma Jane didn’t see anything upsetting. “I’m trying really hard not to be mean,” I said. “I really am.” “Well, try harder,” Norma Jane said. “In my day, a gentleman asked a lady out before having lewd thoughts about her.” My cheeks heated, probably from the exertion of my workout since I never blushed. Luckily, it was a welcome sign that this conversation had allowed blood back to my head. I faced Norma Jane. “In your day,” I said. “Women didn’t run around half-naked looking the way she looks.” Norma Jane laughed. “You got me there, boy. Why don’t you stop in for some tea later on today? You haven’t been over to see me once since you moved in.” “Are you going to mention my lewd thoughts?” I asked. “I’ll do my best to refrain.”
“Then I’ll be by around three.” I headed out to finish my run, pushing all thoughts of Carrie and her luscious body from my thoughts. I had enough problems without adding Carrie and her brain-addling presence to the list. *** My phone rang just as I stepped out of the shower. My stomach rumbled at me to feed it before I started on business, but business had to come first. I had one shot at achieving my dream, and I wasn’t going to let physical hunger interfere. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, still naked as the day I was born, and answered. “Cody,” Mary Ellen purred. She was the realtor helping me find the right property and she’d made it very clear she’d be happy to warm my bed. She was attractive and claimed she’d expect no strings to be attached to our roll in the hay, but I didn’t want to mix business and pleasure. Besides, my dick, fickle beast that it was, had no reaction to the sound of her bedroom voice. “I’ve got three places for you to see today. Can you be ready in an hour?” “Sure,” I said, “Where should I meet you?” “I’ll pick you up, sugar.” “Great.” I hung up and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. I loved to cook and I loved to
eat, so my refrigerator was well-stocked, even if the rest of the house made it appear that no one lived there. I stirred up some eggs with spinach and red peppers and popped two slices of bread in the toaster. I had a fruit salad from the day before still in the fridge and I pulled that out and munched on it while I cooked the eggs. When it was all ready, I sat down at the little table in the breakfast nook, in the chair across from the window that faced Carrie’s house. I got my seat just in time to see her step outside carrying a purse, a laptop bag, and about ten books. I might have considered going out and offering to help, but I doubted she’d accept it. I’d offered to help, once, a few weeks ago, when she’d come home with three huge bags of topsoil. She’d claimed she could handle them herself and proceeded to drag each of the bags into her garage, clearly struggling. Even when she’d dropped one of the bags halfway to the garage, she’d still insisted it wasn’t heavy and she didn’t need help. She was independent and self-sufficient to a fault. I watched as she bobbled the books and the laptop and walked carefully to her car. She reached for the door handle and they all toppled out of her arms and to the ground with a crash. I couldn’t resist. I left my seat, my eggs likely going cold, and went out my side door to stand on the porch there. “Ever consider making multiple trips?”
“Ever consider minding your own business?” she growled, her eyes narrowed. She was in slacks and a filmy blouse with a bow at the neck. Her wavy hair was pinned back behind her ears and she was wearing dark-rimmed glasses that did nothing to hide her gorgeous blue eyes. “Where would be the fun in that?” I knew I should apologize, should stop pushing her buttons, but telling her the truth, that focusing on anything but her was virtually impossible, didn’t seem like a good option. “Don’t you have anything better to do than ruin my day?” Okay, that one hurt just a bit, because seeing Carrie, even when she was pissed off or pissed me off, was undeniably the best part of my day, of every day. “I could help you load up those books.” She bent, swooped up the books in an easy armful, and plunked them into the back seat. “As I’ve told you before,” she said. “I can take care of myself.” “I can see that. But it doesn’t mean you have to do it all yourself, all the time.” She looked at me and her anger faded, only to be replaced by a sadness I hated to see on her face. “Yeah, it does.” She got in her car, started the engine, and pulled out without a look back. I went inside, ate my cold eggs and toast and wondered why she looked so sad and what had happened to
her that made her believe she couldn’t accept help. Mary Ellen showed up on my doorstep fifteen minutes later. She was early and she looked beautiful. Her skirt was tasteful, but tight and her blouse had too many buttons undone, revealing a good bit more cleavage than was necessary in her line of work. Really more than was necessary in any line of work that didn’t involve taking off your clothes for money. Seeing as how Mary Ellen had beautiful, lush curves, I was the beneficiary of her sartorial choices and couldn’t complain. She’d straightened her naturally curly hair and had on a subtle amount of make-up. If she wasn’t helping me find land to buy, she’d normally be exactly the sort of woman I’d go for, but I’d mixed business and pleasure once with disastrous consequences. I wouldn’t make that mistake again. I followed Mary Ellen out to her environmentally-friendly two-door and got in the passenger’s seat. “What have you got for me today?” I asked. I was surprised she had three properties to show me, since I had very detailed specifications. I hoped she wasn’t trying to pull my chain or get me to buy a more expensive property than I’d planned. I’d picked this town as the site for my winery and vineyard over a year ago and I’d moved to town a month ago, because I’d found the perfect property. I was on the cusp of making my dream a reality, when the property owner’s
daughter found out she was pregnant and decided she wanted to move back to Catalpa Creek. The owner pulled out of the deal and I was stuck. I’d already signed a lease on the rental house where I was living and I’d already invested time and energy into marketing my wine to the local business owners. To say my investors and the bank loan officers had been unhappy when I lost the property was an understatement of epic proportions. I needed to find a new property and fast. The town was adorable, with plenty of cute shops on the main drag and not an overabundance of chain restaurants or chain stores. It was in an extremely rural area, but the university brought enough people and traffic here for local businesses to be able to thrive. I’d been working with Mary Ellen on finding a property for three weeks and she’d shown me several different ones, but nothing I’d fallen in love with. My dream property didn’t seem to be on the market, yet. And I couldn’t afford to pick up and start over in a new town or new state. “The first one is a bit farther out than you said you’d like,” she said. “But it fits all your specifications, so I think it might be worth the drive.” I’d been thinking I might have to look for property farther afield, but going too far from town would decrease traffic to my winery considerably.
“I’m willing to travel, as long as we don’t get too far from town.” “Great.” She pulled onto the interstate and turned the radio up. She preferred pop music that didn’t appeal to me, but I didn’t complain. It was her car and she was doing me the favor of chauffeuring me around so I didn’t have to put more miles on my old truck. The old relic was on its last legs, or wheels, but I wasn’t ready to give it up. We’d had a lot of years together, and, until I knew just how much this property was going to cost, I couldn’t afford to buy a new truck. “How do you like little Catalpa Creek?” Mary Ellen asked. “It seems like a great town,” I said. “Maybe you could tell me a bit more about the local festivals.” That got Mary Ellen talking about fairs and festivals and her own experiences as a beauty pageant contestant. Her stories were surprisingly entertaining and gave me a pretty good idea of what to expect of the town events. I glanced down at the clock on the dash and realized we’d been on the road for over an hour. “How far out is this place?” I asked. “We’re here.” She pulled down a gravel road to what looked like an old hunting cabin. We were halfway up the mountain and surrounded by trees. “This piece is twenty acres, just like you
asked,” she said. “Okay. But it’s on a mountain and I asked for valley land. I’ll be clearing as many rocks as I will be trees.” “Well, it might be a little more work, but let me show you something.” She opened her door and I got out with a sinking feeling that Mary Ellen didn’t understand what I was looking for. I followed her down a narrow dirt trail, surprised by how well she got through the brush and forest in a tight skirt and heels. She stepped out onto a rocky ledge and spread her arms at the valley below. It was a gorgeous view. “Very nice,” I said. “But this isn’t going to work for me.” “You said you want to build a destination,” she said. “A place people can go to get away from life for a bit. This would be the perfect spot for a bed and breakfast or small hotel, the views would be unbeatable.” “You’re not wrong,” I said. “But I also need to have land where I can grow grapes and space to operate a working winery. I’m going to need a lot of water. Trying to get this land to meet those requirements will take more money and time than I’m prepared to spend.” Or could afford, but she didn’t need to know that. Mary Ellen shrugged. “Oh, well, it was a pretty drive, anyway.” “Right.” I wondered if this whole trip had been
an excuse for Mary Ellen to spend more time with me. I’m not particularly vain or self-centered, I don’t assume every woman wants me, but Mary Ellen had straight up told me she wanted me, no strings attached. Hard to misinterpret that message. “Where are the other properties?” I asked. “The next one is at the base of the mountain here. And the third one is about fifteen miles back toward Catalpa Creek. “Then you should just take me home. Catalpa Creek is part of what will draw people to my winery as a destination. These properties are too far from town.” Marry Ellen didn’t look the least bit put out or surprised. “Okay, let’s head back.” “Are you sure there’s no one near town who might be looking to sell soon? No one who might be convinced to sell?” I probably should have given up on Catalpa Creek as soon as the deal on the first property fell through, but this town was just the right amount of quaint and modern and it wasn’t too far from skiing, golf, and other Virginia wineries. Plus, I’d still be within driving distance of my family, without being so close that our business ventures crossed or conflicted. “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything, but folks around here who have a lot of land tend to keep it in the family.” “Just keep an ear out.” I’d give it two more
weeks. If I didn’t get a lead on a property, I’d have to go back to working for a winery instead of owning my own until I could stockpile some more money. *** I knocked and stepped to the side, waiting for Norma Jane to open the door. I figured she’d already seen me walking up the walk, but she didn’t move quickly. I’d hit the gym after Mary Ellen dropped me off, had lunch, and then hosted a tasting in my dining room for a group of five women who were touring Virginia vineyards. I might not have a winery or a vineyard, yet, but I had a sweet wine cellar and wine already bottled under my label, thanks to the vineyard where I’d most recently worked. I’d produced three signature wines while I’d worked for them and they now produced the wines for me and allowed me to slap my own label on them. It wasn’t a highly profitable deal for me, yet, but I’d managed to get two of my wines into a couple of the local restaurants, and friends at a couple of the other Virginia wineries had sent some traffic for tastings my way. They told the tourists it was a privilege, a special treat to be able to try my wine before my winery had opened. The tasters who’d visited today were fun, but not big spenders. They’d left with one bottle each.
The door swung open and Norma Jane smiled like my visit was the best thing to have happened to her all year. She was dressed in pressed slacks and a fitted blouse, looking as put-together as she always did. She didn’t dye her hair, and it was a lovely silver, giving away her age when her barelylined, youthful face would have suggested she was in her fifties and not her seventies. “It is a delight to see you, Cody. Won’t you come in? I got a crumb cake from the grocery store.” Norma Jane was an admitted disaster in the kitchen, but she picked her baked goods very well from the store. “I would love some crumb cake,” I said. I followed her inside to her cheery kitchen where a pitcher of iced tea and crumb cake sat on the table. Her house was one of the smaller ones on the block, but it had large picture windows and Norma Jane had filled it with treasures from a lifelong love of traveling and a life well lived. I took a seat at her small table and poured iced tea into the glass next to her seat. She tsked, but smiled. “You are supposed to let the hostess serve her guest.” “I haven’t forgotten about your arthritis,” I said. “I’m sparing you some pain.” I may have only lived in the neighborhood for a month, but I knew my neighbors better than some I’d grown up next to. She’d had to retire from her job as a seamstress because of her arthritis and she’d made it clear that
leaving the workforce had been more painful than the ailment itself. She placed a piece of crumb cake on the china plate at my seat as I poured myself a glass of tea. It was my first visit to Norma Jane’s but I’d had her tea before, she’d brought me some when I was working in the yard one day, and I knew it’d be sweeter than the cake. I took a small sip and placed it on the table. Norma Jane didn’t touch her cake or her tea, she leaned forward. “Now, bring some sunshine into an old woman’s life and tell me why you have drunk people coming and going from your house at all hours of the day?” Knowing Norma Jane’s love for gossip, I wasn’t at all surprised by her question. And I had no problem answering it truthfully. I leaned in. “Because I’ve been hosting tastings out of the house.” Her eyes widened and she frowned, before she caught herself and made her expression more pleasant. She was clearly disappointed my story wasn’t more scandalous. “Tastings? Like wine?” “Exactly. One of the selling points of that house was the wine cellar that came with it. I store my wine there and offer tastings in the dining room until I can get a full winery up and running.” “I’ve been in that wine cellar. Abby did love her wine.” Her smile widened. “And she was very
neighborly about sharing.” “I didn’t know you liked wine. I’ll bring you a couple of bottles.” “Don’t trouble yourself,” she said in a tone that clearly meant, do. “People just walk up to your house and you let them in and give them free wine?” “I have contacts at other wineries in the area,” I said. “If they have visitors who seem interested in a bit of a drive and an opportunity to try a new wine, they call me and set up an appointment for a tasting. I give them free wine, with the hope they will buy the wine and come back when my winery is up and running.” “Where will your winery be?” I leaned back in my seat. “That part hasn’t quite fallen into place the way I’d hoped it would. I’m still looking.” Her brow creased and she frowned. “And if you can’t find a location?” I shrugged, pretending more nonchalance than I felt. I didn’t want her to worry about me. I barely knew her, but I liked what I did know. “I’ll move on, find another adorable town in another gorgeous region that needs a destination winery.” “Hmmm,” she said. “That would be unfortunate.” “It would,” I said. “Leaving Catalpa Creek is the last thing I want to do.”
Her worried expression eased. “That wouldn’t have anything to do with your neighbor, Carrie Harrison, would it?” Her question shouldn’t have surprised me, based on what she’d witnessed that morning, but I hadn’t been at all prepared for it. “I’m not looking for a relationship. Once I get the property I need, I won’t have time for a social life.” Norma Jane took a sip of her iced tea and set down the glass, as though a decision had been made. “That’s too bad. I think you’re exactly the sort of guy Carrie Harrison needs. She needs some fun in her life, someone to take care of her.” “I’m positive she’d disagree.” Norma Jane wrinkled her nose. “Carrie Harrison is a good girl, but she has terrible taste in men. Lord knows Carrie deserves someone to think about her after all she’s done for…” She stuffed a bite of cake in her mouth like she was stopping herself from saying more, but my interest was piqued. “All she’s done for who?” Norma Jane waved a hand. “Well, you know, her students of course. She genuinely cares about them and looks out for them, she even tutors them.” I knew there was more she wasn’t telling me, but I wasn’t going to pry. Carrie’s business was Carrie’s business. I didn’t need to know…I didn’t
need. . . “Who else has she looked out for?” Norma Jane smiled, her eyes lighting up like the spider who’d just caught an unsuspecting fly in her web. “Well, you probably have better things to do than sit around and listen to me talk about Carrie Harrison. You’ve made it very clear you have no interest in dating her.” She pushed back her chair and stood. I stood, too. I wasn’t going to fall into this trap. Still…“I’m her neighbor. I might not want to date her, but I could be her friend.” She sat back down, her smile widening, and she told me about Carrie Harrison. She’d been a surprise baby, born when her parents were in their late-forties and her sister was twelve. She and her sister had been incredibly close and, when her older sister had left for college, Norma Jane said Carrie cried for days. When Carrie was twelve, her father was injured at work and couldn’t go back. Carrie’s mother had continued working and Carrie had done most of the care-taking of her father until he was back on his feet. When Carrie was fourteen, her sister was killed in a tragic and horrible accident, about which Norma Jane gave me very few details. But the details about what happened to her sister didn’t matter. What mattered was that Carrie was absolutely shattered by the death of her sister, but she held it together and helped her parents, who
were both in their mid-sixties, as they grieved and fell apart for a little while. Right after college, Carrie took in her teenage nephew, Harrison, and became his sole guardian. According to Norma Jane, Carrie had given and given and given and rarely gotten back much of anything in return. I suspected Norma Jane was biased about the little girl she’d watched grow to an adult, but I didn’t doubt the facts of the story and I found myself believing Norma Jane might be right and Carrie did need someone to put her first. I couldn’t be her forever guy, but I could inject a bit of fun into her life. I could make time for that. My phone rang just as I walked through the door of my rental house. I sank into a seat at the kitchen table. “Cody,” my youngest sister May said. “When are you coming home?” “Not anytime soon, May. What’s up?” May was twenty-four, just out of college, and the baby of the family. She didn’t like it when she didn’t get her way and she hadn’t been getting her way lately. “Have you found land for your winery?” Out of all my siblings, May was the most supportive of my plans, but that wasn’t saying much. “Not yet.” “Why don’t you come back?” she asked. “Jill just found land that would be perfect for your winery and it’s right next to the Burnside unit.” The Burnside unit was our flagship hotel in a
fleet of hotels my family owned and managed. I’d been expected to go into the family business and had for a bit, to please my father, before everything had gone to hell. “I’m sure Jill already has other plans for it.” “Well, sure, she wants to build another golf course, but she’d let you have it if you came home.” That was the logic of a woman whose relations had never told her no, but I knew better. My family thought I was crazy to start a winery, despite my dual degrees in wine business management and enology. Not that I could blame them considering my track record. And I even got where they were coming from. The typical winery took five years just to break even and that was if it didn’t fail miserably. But the risks were worth it to me. “I’m not quite ready to come home with my tail between my legs, May, what’s up?” “I want to go back to school and get a degree in photojournalism and Mom is refusing to let me go. Can you talk to her?” I debated pretending the phone had dropped her call, or creating a static noise with my mouth and pretending I hadn’t heard her question, but I’m not a coward, so I stayed on the line. I didn’t say anything, but I stayed on the line. “Cody? Cody are you even listening to anything I’ve been saying?”
“No.” “No, you haven’t been listening or no you won’t talk to Mom?” “No, I won’t talk to Mom. I love you, but as your big brother it’s my job to tell you to pull your head out of your ass.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” May’s voice was a bit heated, but she wasn’t prone to drama. She should be prone to drama as the youngest, but she’d never had to resort to it to get what she wanted and had ended up being a relatively calm person. “How many degrees do you have, May?” “Three?” she said, like it was a question. Nothing about May was submissive or shy or stupid, so I knew the question in her voice was about where I was going with this. “And how many jobs have you had using any one of those degrees?” “None, but that’s because I hadn’t figured out what I really wanted to do, yet. Now I know. I want to be a photojournalist.” “Okay. I’ll support your desire to be a photojournalist, but I won’t support you spending more of Mom’s money to do it.” She huffed. “So how am I supposed to do it?” “Do what normal people do and get a job. Save your money, maybe get some experience in the field you want to go into, and then go get the
degree.” She huffed again. “Damn it, Cody, I think I liked you better when you were the wild black sheep of the family. When’d you get so damn sensible?” “I’m still the black sheep of the family,” I said. “And I got sensible when my wild ways ruined our mother’s dream.” She groaned. “Oh, my god, you are a bigger drama queen than Noah. You didn’t ruin Mom’s dream, you ruined one deal. As soon as she gets the capital, she’ll retire and get her horse farm.” “She’ll never be able to find another property or house like the one she and Dad found together. If I’d acted with any kind sense, if I’d thought of anyone but myself, I wouldn’t have ruined the deal. Mom would have her dream and Dad would probably still be alive to share it with her.” The words just kind of slipped out and I realized maybe it was time I fessed up to my crimes. She laughed. “Have you seriously been holding onto that for two years, Code Red? It sounds like a Shakespearean tragedy. Yeah, Dad was pissed at you and yeah you screwed up, but you didn’t kill Dad. You didn’t destroy any hope of Mom someday getting her horse farm. She’ll find another property. Is that why you won’t take any of Dad’s money to help with your winery?” “I just need to do this myself,” I said. “Dad
never would have wanted his money to go toward the winery. He hated that I didn’t want to be in the family business, he hated that I wanted to go my own way. I won’t use his money to do something he would have hated.” “Maybe you need to pull your head out of your own ass, big brother. Dad was pissed when Jenna decided to get her PhD and be a college professor, but he got over it and bought her a house. He was pissed when Jared decided he’d rather be a veterinarian than go into the family business, but he eventually came around and invested in Jared’s practice. He would have come around and invested in your winery. He would have forgiven you for screwing up, and he would have been proud of you. His body just failed him at the wrong moment.” “Sure.” I wanted to believe her, but she hadn’t seen the look on his face. She hadn’t seen the hurt under the rage. I’d let him down in every sense of the word and I didn’t deserve another penny of his money. “Listen, if you need a job, I could give you one just as soon as I get the right property.” She groaned. “I don’t want to work in the middle of nowhere, digging in the dirt. You know I’d never survive that.” “You could help with hiring,” I said. “And you could supervise the digging in the dirt and the plans for the vineyard and the winery. Don’t you have a
degree in interior design? You could help me decorate.” “Don’t try to butter me up,” she said. “No matter what you say, the job is still in the middle of nowhere. I would wither up and die in the country. I’m a city girl.” “Maybe you could visit sometime. It’d be good to see you.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love you, loser.” “I love you, too.”
CHAPTER THREE Carrie “Why did you do it?” I looked up from The Color Purple, which I was re-reading so I’d be ready to discuss it with my classes the next day, to see Kayla Wilson standing on the other side of my desk. Her eyes were red like she’d been crying or was about to cry, and there were dark circles under them. Her hair was greasy and her t-shirt was dirty. I didn’t have to ask what she was talking about, I already knew. Already felt like I’d betrayed her. “You weren’t in class today, even though your home-room teacher marked you as present. I reported your absence to the principal because I was worried about you.” Her mouth pressed into a flat, grim line and she shook her head, her chin wobbling just a bit. “I thought you were on my side, but the first time I make a mistake…” Her voice shook and she curled her hands into tight fists. “Now, I’ve got to stay after school for detention tomorrow and there’ll be no one to get my little sister and brother from the bus.” “What about your dad?” I asked, feeling like
the lowest of the low. She rolled her eyes. “He’s working. It’s my job to get them from the bus. I need to be there.” “Did you tell the principal that?” “Yes, but she didn’t care about that any more than she cared about my reason for skipping class.” “Why did you skip?” “I forgot to put sister’s favorite stuffed animal in her backpack,” she said. “She goes everywhere with that thing and she was so upset…I got a ride home with a friend and took it to her.” “I’m sorry,” I said, my guilt ratcheting up. “If you’d just told someone…” “No one would have understood why it was important for me to take a stuffed animal to my sister.” She shook her head. “I’ve got to catch the bus.” She walked out, her shoulders hunched, her shoulder blades jutting out sharply under her thin shirt. “Shit,” I muttered. This wasn’t what I’d intended. I just…I was worried about her. I loved all my students, I really, truly did. Some of them were spoiled entitled brats and some of them yelled at me or cussed me out or rolled their eyes at me, but they were all just kids, trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted and how to handle life. I didn’t always like them, but I always loved them, like a parent loves her children.
I considered it a weakness and a blessing that I could see the good in every student, because I could help those who’d let me, but I also hurt, really hurt when one of my kids was hurting, and Kayla was really, really hurting. She was hurting and I didn’t know why and I didn’t know how to help her. She was one of my brightest students. I think she loved to read more than I did. She could analyze a book on a level way beyond that of an average ninth grader, probably because she’d been reading everything she could get her hands on since she was a kid. That’s really all I knew about her, except that she lived in a decent neighborhood on the edge of a bad neighborhood with her dad. I also knew her dad was in a car accident two years ago, an accident that had killed her mother, and he’d had a slow and painful recovery. Kayla had never been particularly outgoing or outspoken, but she used to smile more and she used to get excited about discussing books. Lately, she’d been withdrawing into herself. She’d been walking around with dark smudges under her eyes, like she hadn’t been sleeping, and she’d seemed far away, even when she was right in front of me. So, when she wasn’t in class, I reported her to the principal. I love my students, but I’m not their friend and I didn’t want to lose Kayla to whatever demons were haunting her. Better she hate me than slip through the cracks, start skipping school or
hanging out with kids who lead her into trouble. For some kids, getting in serious trouble is enough to snap them out of it, to get them back in line, and I believed Kayla cared enough to be scared straight, so to speak. I’d done it for her, with the full knowledge that she might never forgive me. I was okay with that. Except I’d betrayed her and I’d made her life more difficult. Now, there was one less adult in the school she trusted and her brother and sister would be getting off the bus to an empty house while she was in detention the next day. I dropped my head in my hands and sighed. I usually stayed at school late, working on lesson plans and grading papers, but I’d had enough. I needed to be home. I gathered up my stuff and headed out. I managed not to run into anyone. I got back to my quiet, calm house and shut the door behind me with a sigh. I kicked off my shoes and dropped onto the couch, feeling weary and drained. When my phone rang, I picked it up without looking at caller ID. “Hey, Aunt Carrie.” It was Harrison, but he sounded off, not like himself at all. He’d broken up with his sweet girlfriend, Frankie, and I’d made the mistake of trying to push them together by arranging for them to both be at my house at the same time. It kind of blew up in my face and I’d
expected Harrison to be mad at me, but he sounded sad. I couldn’t help worrying about Harrison. Every time he got down, I wondered if he was going to slip back into being that angry, aggressive, troubled kid he’d been when he’d first come to live with me. Every time I saw him pull back from life I wondered if I’d waited too long to get him away from his father. If I’d done enough to help him get over the trauma of his childhood. “Any more bad dates? I need some cheering up.” “What’s wrong?” He huffed. “Nothing except I’m an idiot and pushed away the one girl I want more than anyone.” “Why?” I asked. “I know you’re crazy about her.” “I’m not good for her and she deserves…She deserves a guy who’s as good and real and kind as she is.” “You’re a good person, Harrison. I wish you could see how lucky she’d be to have you.” “You’re a tiny bit biased, Aunt Carrie. I’ve got issues a mile wide and five miles deep and no one should have to deal with them but me. Frankie is just figuring out her own life, she doesn’t need to be weighed down by my shit.” The tears I’d been just barely holding back spilled over my lower lids and down my cheeks. “We’ve all got issues, Harrison. You should focus
on all the wonderful things you do for people, the good, kind man you are now, rather than on your past.” “I wish it was that easy, Aunt Carrie. But thanks for the support.” “I just…” I took a deep breath to hide the fact I was crying, and tried to figure out a way to make him see he deserved to be happy. He was so caught up in mistakes he’d made in the past that he couldn’t see the present clearly, couldn’t see how much happiness he deserved. But I’d said everything to him before and it had made no difference. Instead, I told him about my librarian date and made him laugh. I wished that was enough. *** “I’ve never seen anyone cry while they’re gardening,” Cody’s warm voice washed over me, cocky and a bit smug. Of course he could afford to be smug, he hadn’t let down two young people who depended on him. “Are you planting onions? Or did you have another bad date?” I put down my hand trowel and glared at him. After my phone call with Harrison, I’d changed and gotten to work on my garden, an activity that never failed to calm me. It had calmed me, but it hadn’t stopped the tears. “You’re trespassing on private
property,” I said. I tried to look scary, but my tears probably ruined the effect. His smile widened. “I saw my neighbor in distress and I came over to make sure she’s okay. I don’t think anyone could accuse me of being in the wrong here.” Gah, he was such a jerk. “If you were really worried about me,” I said, brushing at another tear that had escaped. I just couldn’t stop crying. “You wouldn’t have made that snide comment about a bad date.” “Well, you do have seriously bad taste in men. I just wanted to see if there was anyone else I needed to talk to.” My blood ran cold. “What do you mean, anyone else?” He shrugged. “Betty told me where to find that guy who stranded you at Vince’s. I figured I’d have a little talk with him about the appropriate way to treat a lady.” I was on my feet, my sadness giving way to an uninhibited rage. I may not be able to fix all of Harrison or Kayla’s problems, but I could certainly make sure my meddling neighbor stayed out of my life. “Don’t you dare go talk to him. I handled it just fine.” “Maybe I want to make sure he knows to stay away from you.” “What? Are you my bodyguard now?”
“Somebody should be.” He crossed his arms over his chest and a flame of something like anger lit his eyes. “You certainly don’t seem to do a very good job looking out for yourself.” Something in me snapped, some basic, primal part of me rushed forward and took control of my body. Before I’d even realized what I was doing, I’d chucked the trowel at Cody and screamed out a guttural expression of anger and frustration. I’m not good at sports, I couldn’t hit the side of an elephant with a ball and I close my eyes when I should be catching something. I’m also not violent, I’ve never hit or hurt anyone, and believe me when I say plenty of people I’ve encountered in my life deserved violence. But Cody brought out something I didn’t even know I had in me. I flung that trowel and I hit him square between the eyes. I immediately freaked out. “Oh, my god. I’m so sorry. I’ve never…I didn’t mean…I would never.” Cody was bent over clutching his face and I pulled in a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst. I walked over and put a hand on his back. “Are you okay? How bad is it?” “It fucking hurts,” he said. “What the hell did you do that for?” “That’s not important right now, we need to assess the damage and get you fixed up.” He straightened a bit, his hand still cupped to his forehead, and I could see blood dripping down
his face. Oh, my god, I could have killed him or put out his eye if the trowel had hit him just a little bit differently. I was a bad, bad person, and I shouldn’t be allowed around dangerous objects like trowels ever again. I’d give up gardening in penance…Or whatever. I did my best to calm down, so that I didn’t freak him out. “The light’s pretty dim out here,” I said. “We should go inside, so I can get a good look. I’ve got first aid supplies.” “You promise not to throw anything else at me, in there?” Did his voice sound weak? I shouldn’t be happy that all his smugness was now gone, should I? I was so going to hell. “I solemnly swear never to throw anything at you ever again,” I said. “I won’t do anything to cause you any sort of physical harm.” “Okay,” he said. “Lead the way.” I took him by the hand that wasn’t covering his face and led him inside. *** It’s not easy to lead a man who’s a good foot taller than me and almost twice as wide into my small house, especially when he’s in pain and covering his eyes. I may have walked him into the porch railing and forgotten to mention there was a step, causing him to stub his toe and hop around for a minute, cursing and swearing. I might have also
forgotten to mention the lintel at the front door, causing him to stumble and fall against me, dripping blood on my t-shirt. All that may have happened, but I don’t like to dwell on past mistakes. It’s best to move forward and focus on what I can control: the present. A present that included a man sitting in my small guest bathroom, making it look even smaller as he sat on the closed lid of the toilet seat. I did not want to pull his hand away from his face and see what I’d done to him. I did not want to know how my irrational moment of rage had marred his perfect, gorgeous face. But I’m not a coward and I couldn’t just leave him sitting in my bathroom and do nothing. I got all the bandages and ointment I owned, as well as a clean cloth and I set them up along the sink. “Okay,” I said. “Take your hand away.” He dropped his hand and my heart sank. There was so much blood. His face was covered in blood and I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. With shaking hands, I wet the cloth and began gently wiping his face. “Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?” “No,” he said, his voice a bit husky. I wiped the blood from his nose and mouth, moving as carefully as I could. “You hit me on the forehead,” he said. “It’s probably best to stop the bleeding first.” “Right,” I said, feeling like a complete and
total moron. I had never been good in a crisis situation. I moved up to his forehead and wiped away what blood I could, but it seemed mostly dry and I didn’t want to rip away a newly formed scab and cause more bleeding, so I moved slowly, doing my best not to hurt him. I finally found the small cut, right between his eyes. “This is tiny,” I said. “I can’t believe it caused this much blood.” “Head wounds bleed a lot.” I bandaged the small cut and cleaned his face, becoming more aware of his nearness, of the hard planes of his body and his smooth, tanned skin as I worked. Now that I was no longer worried he might be near death, I relaxed a bit and just felt like the worst human being on the planet. I cleaned off the rest of the blood and stepped away to examine his face. He watched me with dark, hooded eyes, his mouth tipped up in a tiny, wicked smile. I took another step away from him and my back hit the wall. He put a hand to his head and felt the small band-aid I’d put there. “I probably won’t even have a scar,” he said. “Thanks for fixing me up.” “How do you feel? Still no dizziness? Headache?” “Nope.” He stood and swayed toward me, his eyes dilating and his face paling. He didn’t look good.
“I think you should stay here tonight,” I said. “I want to make sure you don’t have a concussion.” His smile grew. “I’ll be fine. I don’t feel dizzy at all.” “You look a bit off. Are you sleepy?” “Not even a little bit.” “Well, I’d feel better if you stayed here tonight,” I said. “If anything happened to you… Please, just stay. I’ll make dinner and you can watch whatever you want on T.V.” “Well, when you put it like that,” he said. “How can I refuse?” “Great. Can you walk on your own or do you need to lean on me?” He smirked. “I think it’s safer if I walk on my own. Lead the way.” I walked to the kitchen, looking back over my shoulder every three seconds, and got him seated at the kitchen table. “Can I get you anything? A glass of water? Orange juice?” “A beer would be good,” he said, amusement lacing his gruff voice. “I don’t have beer,” I said. “I could run out. What kind do you like?” He grabbed my hand in his big warm one and electricity spiked through me like I’d been struck by lightning. “I don’t think you should leave me right now,” he said. “Water will be fine.”
“Good.” I pulled my hand from his. “Great.” I filled a glass with water and ice and placed it in front of him. “Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t aiming at you when I threw that trowel? I was having a really bad day and I just…I overreacted. Usually, I’m terrible at throwing and hitting my target. If I had been aiming for you, I probably would have missed.” “Remind me never to play darts with you.” “You’re taking this awfully well. Shouldn’t you be mad at me?” His expression softened. “Hard to be mad when I’ve got a beautiful woman taking such good care of me.” My cheeks heated and I swallowed down the lust that shot through me. I’d almost killed the man and now I was lusting after him? I was insane. “Okay,” I said. “Well, good. Um, what would you like for dinner? I’ve got a wide array of TV dinners or I can make, um, spaghetti, but I don’t have any sauce…” I really had nothing else. I hated to cook and I wasn’t very good at it. Cody’s smile dropped and something like disgust took over. “If you’re trying to kill me, that would be a good way to do it. You eat like that every day?” I shrugged. “I eat a lot of dinner salads and sandwiches. I could make you a sandwich…Except I’m out of bread and, well, salad. I usually go
shopping on the weekends, but I…I just didn’t get around to it.” “How about we order a pizza?” he asked. “I’ll pay.” “I’ll call it in.” I crossed the room and grabbed the wall phone. I dialed the number for the pizza place from memory. I had no intention of letting him pay for pizza after I’d nearly killed him, but I didn’t need to tell him that. I’d just answer the door and pay when it was delivered. I hung up and turned to see Cody smirking at me. “What?” “I just haven’t seen a landline phone since I was at Norma Jane’s for tea yesterday.” I crossed to the stove and put the kettle on, tea was just exactly what I needed. A calming chamomile would be perfect. “I have a cell phone,” I said. “But, I prefer the landline, it seems more reliable.” Cody watched me like he was trying to dissect me with his eyes. “Would you like to go in the living room and lay down?” I asked, grateful I’d at least managed to get a couch, after deciding I needed to update my decor and getting rid of every piece of furniture I owned. “I think it’s better if I don’t get too comfortable,” he said. “Wouldn’t want to fall asleep if I have a concussion.” “Oh, right.” I felt like an idiot. “Should we
take you to the doctor?” “I’m fine.” He seemed confident about his condition, but could a person with a concussion tell he had a concussion, or did he always think he was just fine until he keeled over from a traumatic brain injury? “It’s okay, Carrie. Really. Why don’t you sit down there and tell me about your bad day? Tell me why you were crying?” His smug attitude and his teasing from earlier came back to me and reminded me of what a jerk he’d been. I took a seat across from him at the table, just to make sure he didn’t die on my watch. “I was planting onions.” He frowned and leaned forward a bit. “I’m sorry if I came across as a jerk. I was worried about you and I didn’t want to pry, so I teased you. I was just trying to make you smile.” “‘Cause that worked so well.” He sighed. “It didn’t work at all, but you got riled and that was better than seeing you sad, so I pushed your buttons a bit. You’re awfully cute when you’re mad.” I leaned back in my chair, my earlier anger at him reigniting. “I’m not cute when I’m mad, you asshole. I’m mad. And I had every right to be. You don’t just intrude on a stranger and start harassing her when she’s clearly upset.” “You’re right,” he said, shocking me so much I nearly stopped breathing. “I behaved badly and I’m
sorry. Can we try again? You look sad, what’s bothering you?” And I realized that even if he’d led with that, I still would have gotten angry, because I hated for anyone to see me cry. I hated for anyone to see me vulnerable. I was the rock, the one other people depended on. I’d helped my parents through their sorrow over the death of my sister and I’d been the strong one for Harrison. I didn’t need help, or sympathy, or prying questions, because I was strong and could figure it all out for myself. “I’m sorry I overreacted to your teasing. Thank you for trying to cheer me up.” He leaned back in his seat. “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend you aren’t allowed to be sad or get angry or act irrationally every once in a while. I’m your bonehead neighbor and you don’t care what I think of you, so tell me what’s going on. Who made you cry?” “No one made me cry.” I wasn’t going to tell him anything. I was going to get up and get my purse and find cash for the pizza. But I didn’t. The words were out before I realized how much I needed to say them. I told him about Kayla and I told him about Harrison and I told him how sad it made me not to be able to help either of them. “You can’t make choices for other people,” he said. “You haven’t failed them. You’re here for them if they need you, without judgment and with
nothing but love, that’s the only thing you can do for them.” I felt a bit better after talking to someone else about my troubles and I wanted to believe he was right. “But maybe I could have done more,” I said. “If I’d seen how sad Harrison really was—” “No. You can’t do that. If Harrison didn’t tell you how sad he was, it was because he didn’t want to talk about it. You can’t force someone to be happy, you can’t make someone open up to you, and you can’t make someone make good choices. Focus on what you can control and just love them.” “But I can be sad that they’re lost and sad,” I said, a tear slipping out of the corner of my eye. And suddenly, Cody was there and I was in the air. He settled me on his lap and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. “You can be sad,” he said. “That’s what caring about someone else is, being sad when they’re sad and worrying about them, and that’s okay. That doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a good person.” Before I could figure out how I felt about his arms around me or his words, the doorbell rang and I was in the air again. He left the kitchen and, by the time I got to the front door, he’d already paid for the pizza and shut the door on the delivery person. “I was going to pay,” I said. “It’s the least I can do for hitting you in the head with a trowel.”
He shrugged. “I paid. You can owe me something else for hitting me in the head with a trowel.” “That’s not okay,” I said. “It’s me who has no food in her house, you shouldn’t—” He swayed on his feet a bit. “Can you take this? I feel woozy.” I grabbed the pizza from his hands and he sat on the couch with a thump. A big part of me suspected he was faking in order to get his way, but what if he wasn’t? “I think we should take you to the hospital.” “No,” he said, lifting a hand. “I feel better now. Maybe I should just avoid quick movements for a while.” “Okay. You sit and I’ll bring you a plate and a drink out here.” I hurried to the kitchen and plated up a couple slices of pizza and carried them out with his water glass. He rested the plate on his knee, but he didn’t eat until I was back with my own pizza. “What happened to all your furniture?” he asked. I shrugged. “I got rid of it. Most of it was stuff I’d inherited from my parents when they moved south and it wasn’t my style. I needed a change.” A change from the 1970s. “And your style is no furniture?” I felt my cheeks heat. I’d just broken down in front of the man moments before, I couldn’t admit I had no idea what my style was. “I’m just replacing
pieces as I have the money for it. Do you want to watch T.V.?” He took a bite of pizza and waited, like he knew I was holding something back. I really didn’t like the way he was able to get inside my head, to understand things about me that I wasn’t sure I understood myself. “Sure, why not?” I put my plate down and grabbed the remote from the floor, where it rested now that I had no tables in the room. Luckily, I’d hung the T.V. on the wall. “What do you want to watch?” “There’s probably a game on,” he said. “On a Tuesday night? I’ve only got the local channels, so I’m not sure we’ll be able to find any sports.” He didn’t look at me like I was crazy, or widen his eyes like I was an alien species. “We could just talk,” he said. “I don’t watch much T.V. unless it’s sports.” My heart raced at the idea of spending any more time talking to him. He already knew more about me than I liked and I didn’t need to know more about him, because I was getting the sneaking suspicion he wasn’t the Neanderthal I’d thought he was. I wasn’t sure why I wanted so badly to keep him locked away in the asshole box, I just knew I felt safer with him in there. “Or, we could watch a movie.” I hopped up and walked over to the case on the floor near the T.V. and VCR. “I’ve got a
million movies. Do you like older movies or newer movies? Comedies or action movies?” “Um, I like all kinds of movies. How about you surprise me?” Surprise him? Was he going to read something into my choice of movie? If I picked an older movie, he’d discover my eccentric love of everything from an earlier age. He’d accuse me of being a little old lady in a young person’s body like Harrison did. No. It would not do. I picked up my binder of movies and carried it over to him. “Why don’t you pick?” He put his plate on the floor and took the binder from me. He opened it and started to flip through it. He groaned and put a hand to his head. “It’s giving me a bit of a headache trying to read these titles,” he said. “Just pick one of your favorites. Something funny.” I didn’t like the way his head injury was allowing him to win every debate. A good reason not to physically injure anyone in the future. I took the binder from him and flipped it to the section I’d marked as comedies. I grabbed one of my favorites and popped it into the DVD player. I took my seat as the opening scenes of the movie began, with Fred Savage as a sick little boy in bed and Peter Falk bursting in as the grandfather there to entertain him. I felt Cody’s eyes on me and turned my head,
mouth full of pizza, to see him giving me a confused look. I chewed and swallowed. “You’ve never seen the Princess Bride?” I asked. “The Princess Bride? What is this? I wouldn’t have pegged you as a fan of fairy tales.” I breathed a sigh of relief that he’d finally been wrong about me on at least one point. “Just watch the movie and keep your mouth shut.” “As you wish,” he said. I spun back to him to see him laughing at me. I considered throwing my pizza at him, but that hadn’t worked out so well for me earlier, so I settled on glaring at him. “I don’t like talking during movies,” I said, pretending he hadn’t just hoodwinked me. “That’s too bad,” he said. “Because I know every word to this movie and I’m going to speak along.” I may have been guilty of speaking along myself a time or two, but only when I was watching the movie alone. The opening scenes with Wesley and Buttercup flashed on the screen and Cody, true to his word, recited every single freaking line. “Stop that,” I said. “I’m not kidding. I like silence during movies.” “What’s the fun in that?” “The fun is that I get to enjoy hearing the characters speaking the lines.” “Huh. Doesn’t sound like much fun. I’m not
sure I’ll be able to stay awake unless I talk, I’m feeling really tired.” He faked a massive yawn. “I’m sitting right here. Go ahead and go to sleep. I’ll make sure you don’t die.” I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t let him fall asleep, but I was totally calling his bluff. “How about a little wager,” he said. “What kind of wager?” “Let’s see who knows the lines best. You have to speak them before the character says them, and if you get them wrong, you lose.” I so totally wouldn’t lose. “And ruin the movie?” I asked. “Why would I want to do that?” “Because if you win, you get the benefit of me leaving you alone for the rest of the week.” “And if I lose?” I asked. “You have to spend time with me every day. I’ll even cook you dinner every night for a week.” I really wasn’t seeing the downside to this deal. I didn’t want to spend more time with Cody, but it might be worth it to get a decent dinner every night. “And if you win?” “That would mean you lose, so you’d have to spend every day with me, which would be my prize. If I lose, I have to cook you dinner every night, but I’ll leave it on your doorstep so you won’t have to see me.” “You’re going down,” I said. He was an idiot for not trying to get something from me if he won,
but I wasn’t about to point that out to him, especially since I was going to win. I ignored the flood of warmth in my chest at his suggestion that spending time with me would be something he’d enjoy. I told myself it was just part of his teasing. “Looking forward to it,” he said with a wink that I also chose to ignore. “We start now.” An hour and a half later, my cheeks hurt from laughing so much and I was pretty sure I’d lost, and I didn’t care. “How do you know the movie so well?” I asked. He looked up from the paper where he’d been keeping track of our points. “I’m from a big family and movie night was a huge deal. This was one we watched a lot.” “What’s the final verdict?” I’d been keeping track of the score on my own sheet of paper, but I wanted to hear what he’d come up with. “I won by ten points,” he said. “That what you have?” “Yeah. I guess I’ll be joining you for dinner tomorrow night, you better cook something good.” “Always.” He pushed to his feet and stretched. “Thank you for a lovely evening, but I’d best get home before it gets too late. I’ve got an early morning.” “Doing what?” As far as I’d been able to tell he didn’t go to a job every day and just sat around at home all the time.
“Maybe I’ll tell you over dinner.” He headed for the front door. “You can’t leave,” I said. “I need to check on you during the night, make sure you’re okay.” I got up and followed him to the door, but he spun right before he reached it and faced me, so close that my breasts brushed his chest and a zing of heat rushed to my happy spots. I took a step back like I’d been burned and he smirked like he knew exactly what I was feeling. What the hell was I feeling? What the hell was wrong with me? “Are you asking me to spend the night with you?” he asked in a husky voice. My whole face heated along with the rest of me and I figured I must look like an idiot blushing like that. “I’m asking you to stay the night on the couch so I can check on you every hour and make sure you’re still alive.” I took another step back from him, but he followed, crowding me and making it hard for me to breathe. “No,” he said. “I’m fine and I’m not going to sleep on the couch when I have a perfectly good bed at home.” “So take my bed.” I dropped my eyes to his chest to avoid his intense gaze, but the sight of his t-shirt stretched over those tight pecs made me a dizzy. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” “I won’t chase you out of your own bed when I’m perfectly fine. The only way I’ll stay is if we
share the bed.” Oh, why had I turned the second bedroom into an office and given away Harrison’s bed? Why was I a complete idiot who didn’t foresee the need to have a man I’d nearly killed sleep over? I was sure he was right and he was fine, but what if he wasn’t? What if I’d hit him harder than either of us realized and he died in his sleep. I’d be a murderer, and I wouldn’t do well in prison. I didn’t like small spaces or aggressive, angry people. “We can share a bed as long as there’s no touching or nudity.” “Who said I wanted to touch you or get naked?” he asked, taking two steps away from me and frowning like he hadn’t been all up in my space and making sexy eyes at me a moment before. “I just want to sleep in a bed. Where is it? This way?” He headed down my narrow hallway without waiting for an answer and found my room with no trouble at all. I followed him into my bedroom and stared, speechless, as he pulled off his shirt and turned to face me, all those muscles and ripples and hardness on full display. I didn’t like too many muscles on a man I reminded myself as my pulse picked up speed and my body lit up like it was ready to play. I was not going to play with Cody Reynolds. He was a guy who clearly spent too much time in the gym and didn’t have his priorities in any sort of mature order. I needed a man who was ready to settle down and have a family. A
responsible man. A man with…My thoughts trailed off as Cody unbuttoned his jeans and slid the zipper down. Was he swaying as he moved? He did a little spin and put his hands on his hips and my eyes darted back up to his face, a face that was laughing at me. “Enjoying the show?” he asked. Gah, the man was impossible. “You know what?” I said. “I’m not tired. I’m just going to go back to the couch and read for a bit.” “Suit yourself.” I fled before he could take off any more clothes.
CHAPTER FOUR Cody I sat on my front lawn reading a book May had sent me. It was a good book and I really liked it, but I was feeling restless and I couldn’t seem to focus on the pages in front of me. I’d woken up that morning with a warm, beautiful woman wrapped around me and a dick so hard it could have cut through glass. I hadn’t been able to do a damn thing about it, because Carrie had woken up seconds later. She’d scooted out of that bed so fast, you’d have thought it was on fire. Not the reaction I typically got from women whose bed I shared, but I understood. Carrie wasn’t a one-night stand or casual dating kind of woman, she was looking for a serious relationship and I was definitely not the guy for that job. I had too much on the line, too much planned, to get caught up in something with her. So I hadn’t made a move, I’d teased her plenty, but I hadn’t pushed and I hadn’t touched her. I’d walked away and I’d gone for a run and I’d lifted at the gym for over an hour, but I couldn’t burn away the memory of how she felt in my arms or work off the restless, needy energy that
was pinging all over my body. I bent my head over my book and tried to focus. Movement in my peripheral vision made me turn my head to see some guy, in jeans and a t-shirt and carrying a backpack, cross Carrie’s yard and step onto her porch. At first, I thought the dude must be one of her students, but he looked around while he waited for her to answer the door and our eyes caught. The guy was no kid, he just dressed like a kid. I’d never been the kind of man who considered how good-looking other men were, it’s just not something that ever crossed my radar, but I thought it was safe to say this guy was no threat to me. Threat? That gave me pause. He could only be a threat to me if I was interested in Carrie and I was not interested in her. She may have been in my thoughts all day and I might have gotten into the habit of watching her comings and goings, but that was just because she was hot and I wouldn’t mind a good time between the sheets with her. I ought to be hoping she met a guy and got serious about him, because then I could write her off and focus on what should be consuming all my thoughts: my winery. Instead, I couldn’t look away as Carrie, dressed in that same outfit of pants and sweater set that should have indicated she was out of my league but only made me wonder what she was wearing under it, and her wannabe teenager crossed
her lawn and got into her car. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about her getting stranded again. I watched as she backed down the driveway, but I didn’t look at Carrie. No, I watched the guy in the passenger seat. I glared at him with the heat of a radioactive ray gun until he looked up and met my gaze. I narrowed my eyes and silently communicated to him that he better fucking treat her right or he’d be answering to me. Just like that douche canoe Jonas had answered to me this morning at the library. Oh, he’d claimed Carrie had chosen to stay behind to meet friends, but I wasn’t backing down. Carrie didn’t lie to me and she deserved to be treated right. I don’t know where this fierce protectiveness came from, but I figured it’d go away as soon as she stopped dating assholes. Jonas agreed to apologize, with a dozen roses and a promise never to say one mean thing to her or about her ever again. I would have preferred he never speak to her again, period, but that seemed like taking it a bit too far. They’d probably see one another at the library, judging by the book-filled, built-in bookshelves in Carrie’s bedroom and the stacks of books in her living room and dining room. Carrie’s current date just looked confused. He said something to Carrie and she shook her head and took off. I watched until I couldn’t see her car anymore and then I wandered over to Betty’s house. Betty was the meanest woman I’d ever met,
but she saw everything that went on in the neighborhood and she knew everyone in town worth knowing. “What do you want?” Betty asked. She was seated on her front porch, stroking an overfed, white cat. Betty was a small woman, with a neatly coiffed hairdo and lipstick, her brown eyes sparkling. She tried to look nice, though she rarely had visitors. “You know that guy Carrie just left with?” I took a seat on the top porch step and got comfortable. This was going to take a while. “Carrie? Pah! She’s strutting around here like she’s too good for any decent man and then she takes you in her house and you don’t leave until morning.” I ducked my head to hide my smile. Carrie would hate it if she knew Betty had seen that. I looked back up to find Betty narrowing her eyes at me. “And don’t think I don’t know what you are, with your loud music and your shirt-less lawnmowing. You are a no good, worthless, good-time guy and you will most likely break Carrie’s heart.” That one struck a little too close to home. “She didn’t look too heartbroken to me. She just left here with some other guy.” “Pah! You know I sent her on a date with my grandson, a nice, good-looking, respectable young man who treated her to a lovely dinner. At the end
of the date, she told him she didn’t intend to see him again. Can you believe that? Throwing away a perfectly good young man like that?” “That does seem like a poor choice.” I was absolutely kissing up to get on Betty’s good side. “Do you know why?” “My boy does like to go on a bit too much about his job. It’s fascinating work. She should have appreciated the lesson he’d given her, but she shooed him away like a dog. Like a dog.” I shook my head in sympathy. “What is his job?” “He’s a mortician, young man. A very respectable profession and a profitable one. Carrie’s not getting any younger and it’s no secret she wants a family. She can’t afford to turn away a man just because she doesn’t care for his dinner conversation.” “Maybe it was more than that,” I said. “I’m sure she wants to click physically and emotionally with a guy. The problem might just have been that there was no spark.” “Oh, you’d know all about spark, wouldn’t you, you filthy man whore. Taking advantage of our poor Carrie like that. It’s criminal.” Amazing how quickly she could shift loyalties when it suited her. I could tell her the truth about why I’d spent the night at Carrie’s house, but I wasn’t about to let Betty put me on the defensive
before I’d gotten any answers. “Maybe I’m not the man whore you think I am,” I said, trying to not to laugh at myself. “Maybe I’ve got a real thing for Carrie and I’m jealous of that guy she just left with. Who is he?” “A better match for her than an unemployed playboy who’s only interested in her body.” I pretended to be greatly offended. “I’m not only interested in Carrie’s body. And I’m not unemployed. I’m in town to find the right land to start a vineyard and winery. I’m an enologist.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t use big words with me, boy, and think you’re going to distract me from the real facts. Fact: you are unemployed, no matter what kind of fancy label you put on it. Fact: You are not the settling down type and you are a downright nuisance. And fact: who Carrie dates is none of your business.” “So she is on a date.” Betty sniffed. “I don’t claim to know anything about that, young man. Now, kindly get off my porch and leave an old woman in peace.” I stood and stepped down to the grass. “It’s just that her last date stranded her at Vince’s Italian and Barbecue all alone. I’m worried about her and want to make sure she’s going to be okay.” “Stranded her at Vince’s? My grandson would never do such a thing. That child has no sense when it comes to men. None.” She gestured at me. “Case
in point, standing on my lawn like a stray dog begging for scraps.” “Okay,” I said. “I see I was mistaken. I figured you’d know who the guy is, but I’ll just mosey on over to Norma Jane’s. She probably knows the guy.” Betty’s face turned an interesting shade of pink. “Norma Jane is a two-faced, gossiping, backstabbing recluse who doesn’t remember half of what she once knew. If you want to know who that man is you need to speak to someone with all of her faculties.” “Which is why I came to you first. I guess I was wrong, since you don’t know him.” “Don’t be ridiculous, you hard-headed heathen,” she said. “Of course I know him. That’s Maureen Pickle’s boy. He’s still living at home with his momma because he’s too damn cheap to get his own place. He’s a clerk over at the courthouse, but he likes to pretend he’s still nineteen. He’s a few dishes short of a banquet, but he won’t hurt your girl.” “How can you be sure?” “I’ve got eyes don’t I? And all five of my senses, plus common sense added to it. That boy is too cheap to treat her to a nice evening out, but he won’t hurt her. And she’s driving, so he won’t strand her.” “Thank you, Miss Betty,” I said, letting a little
extra south creep into my voice. “You ought to do more than thank me, boy. You ought to get over here and fix that loose porch railing I told you about last week.” “You’re right. I’ll do it first thing tomorrow.” “Not first thing, boy,” she said. “Especially not if you spend the night at Carrie’s again. Wash the stink off you and then come over.” I mock saluted her. “I won’t come over until I’m squeaky clean and not smelling of sex.” She huffed and complained about my foul mouth, but I headed back across the street and pretended I didn’t hear her. *** I was back in my chair, reading my book and actually invested in what was happening, when someone else crossed Carrie’s lawn to her front porch. This time it was a kid with a piece of metal in his cheek. Carrie’s nephew, the one who’d told me off for playing my music too loud when I was washing my truck, the one who’d made her cry. “She’s not home,” I shouted before he had a chance to knock. He crossed over to stand in front of me, blocking the dim light from the setting sun that I’d been reading by. “Do you know when she’ll be back?”
“I’m not her keeper,” I said, my jaw clenched tight. “She left here a while ago with some clown in jeans and a t-shirt.” “One of her students?” Harrison had the good sense to look wary of me, but his concern for his aunt seemed to take precedence. “Not unless she teaches thirty-year-old men.” “A date then.” He deflated a bit. “She’ll be gone for a while.” He started to walk away and I almost let him go, but it was just too much. “Wait a minute.” I stood and put my book down on the chair behind me. The kid turned back to me, his eyebrows raised. “You’re her nephew. Harrison, right?” “Yeah. Did she mention me?” I strode over until I was standing toe-to-toe with him. The kid wasn’t short and he wasn’t skinny, but I towered over him. “Yeah,” I said. “You’re the asshole who made her cry.” I pulled back my arm and punched him before he had a chance to respond. I’m not usually violent. Okay, that’s not true, I’ve been in my share of fights before, but none of them felt quite as good as punching that kid. It took away a little bit of the antsiness I’d been feeling since I’d seen Carrie so sad the other day. I picked up my book and sat back down and the kid stared at me, dazed. “What was that for?” I could have gone into detail and explained
why Carrie had been crying over him, but he didn’t appear to be an idiot, so I thought he could figure that part out on his own. “You made her cry. I don’t like to see her cry.” The kid looked at me like I’d grown a third head and I wasn’t sure I hadn’t. “Aren’t you the same guy who turned your music up when she asked you to turn it down?” The kid had a point. “It doesn’t make any sense to me either. I didn’t like seeing her cry and it made me feel better to punch you.” “Glad I could help.” He didn’t look glad, he looked a bit put out, but he wasn’t angry. He knew he deserved it. “Don’t make her cry again. Now, are you going to leave me alone so I can finish this book before the game starts? Or are you going to stand there and yabber at me until I punch you again?” “I’m going. I’ll just sit on Aunt Carrie’s porch and wait until she gets back.” He sat on Carrie’s porch with a heavy textbook and pored over it intently. I waved at him after half an hour and invited him in to watch the game at my place. He was a punk, but he was Carrie’s nephew and I didn’t want him sitting on her porch in the dark. He came over, seeming to harbor no ill feelings, and we went in and turned on the game. I offered him a drink and some chips and we relaxed on my couch in front of my massive T.V. He didn’t
ask me why his aunt was crying over him and I didn’t ask him what was going on in his life. On the first commercial break, I did ask him if it was true that Carrie raised him, because, despite my best intentions, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. “Yeah,” he said. “I moved in with her when I was fourteen and I lived with her until I started college a year and a half ago. I lived with her for six years, because I was a bit behind in school and it took me a while to catch up and graduate. She saved my life.” “Yeah,” I asked. “How so?” The commercial break ended, the game came back on and we returned our attention to it. I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to answer me, but he did as soon as we hit another commercial break. “I was pretty messed up,” he said. “I’d been getting in a lot of trouble, but more than that…” He met my eyes and the pain on his face felt a bit like my own. I knew a thing or two about screwing up. “More than that, I didn’t believe in myself, didn’t even like myself very much. I was headed for a very short life and a miserable, probably violent, end. Aunt Carrie took me in and she didn’t lecture me or try to get me to see the error of my ways. She just told me she loved me every day, she told me I could do better than I’d been doing, and little by little I started to believe her.” He bounced his leg, thinking it over. “Or maybe I just wanted to make her smile.
She doesn’t smile enough.” Something I’d never considered, probably because I hadn’t given her too many reasons to smile at me. “She seems like a good person,” I said. “But…” The game came back on and I held my thought. “She is a good person,” Harrison said. “She’s the best. I never considered how my choices, now that I’m not under her roof anymore, might hurt her. I don’t want to cause her more pain.” “Maybe,” I said, working it out as I spoke. “Maybe it’s enough that she believes in you. If she wants the best for you and wants you to go after it, maybe that’s enough, even if you think you’re not good enough or don’t deserve it for whatever reason.” His expression lightened a bit. “Yeah. Maybe that’s all any of us need. Someone to believe in us when we’ve forgotten how to believe in ourselves.” Light flashed through my dining room window and into the dimly lit living room. “That’s your aunt home,” I said. “Better go see how her date went.” He stood. “Thanks for the snacks and the drink and the game. And thanks for the punch. I’m thinking it might have knocked some sense into me.” “Anytime. Take care of your aunt.” I watched him walk out and I almost wished I was going with him. Carrie gave so much of herself
to so many people, it was a shame no one bothered to give her anything back. A shame she had no one to take care of her and make her smile, to believe in her when she couldn’t believe in herself.
CHAPTER FIVE Carrie I pulled myself out of bed Saturday morning, but only because I refused to lay there and wallow in my bad mood any longer. I’d been holding it together pretty well for a pretty long time, putting my wants and feelings second to those of the people who needed me, and I didn’t have the energy for it anymore. I took an extra-long, hot shower and reminded myself of all I had to be happy about, but my heavy mood remained. I couldn’t even garden, because it was pouring rain. I got dressed, ate breakfast, and picked up the book I was reading, a suspenseful vampire romance, but I put it down after only a couple of pages. I just felt blah, everything seemed blah, and I wanted a change. I wanted some excitement. I’d been so good for so long. I’d done everything I was supposed to do, I followed all the rules, I was always there for the people in my life who needed me, and yet my reward was loneliness and no joy or excitement in my future. “Blech,” I said, disgusted with myself. I was a firm believer that people made their own destiny, so if I was unhappy it was my
own fault. Finding a husband wasn’t happening, so maybe I needed to have some of that wild fun I’d missed out on in college and in my early twenties. And I knew just where to find it. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Dilly asked, her voice sleep-filled. “Um, eight,” I said. “Right,” she said. “Or the butt crack of dawn as anyone under sixty would call it. Why are you calling me so early? Did some loser strand you after a breakfast date? Or are you stuck at some loser’s house? Please tell me you got laid? How was it?” If I hadn’t known Dilly most of my life, I might have thought she was still drunk from the night before, but that was just how she woke up every day, zero to sixty in under a minute. “No. I didn’t sleep with anyone. It’s just…I’m ready.” “Ready?” I waited for her to wake up enough to understand what I was saying. She got it in about thirty seconds and squealed so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “Are you serious?” “As a heart attack,” I said. “I’ve tried it my way and I’ve failed. I’m ready to try it your way.” “Have you called Lance, yet?” “He’s not up before eleven on weekends.” “Call him,” she said. “He’ll want to wake up for this. I’ll be there in an hour.” I’d met Lance, a tenth-grade math teacher, my
second year working at Pinewood High School. I fell in love with him at first sight. He’s gorgeous, fit, and a better dresser than me. He’s also gay, and my best friend after Dilly. Dilly loved Lance, but Lance was wary of Dilly. He felt she sometimes took advantage of me or pushed her agenda on me, but he usually only said that after I’ve chosen something she suggested over something he suggested. In any case, I knew him better than she did and I knew he’d kill me if I called him before eleven. So, I didn’t call him. I turned on the T.V. and watched the news until Dilly knocked on my door. She bustled inside, shaking the rain off. She’d left her umbrella on the porch, but the rain was coming down sideways, so she’d still gotten wet. “Oh, my god,” she said. She wrapped me up in a big hug and jumped up and down with me. “My baby has finally decided to become a woman.” She held me out at arm’s length. “I’m so very proud of you, Carrie.” “Don’t go getting too carried away,” I said. “I’m not going to go completely wild. I’ll still be me, just spiced up a bit.” “Uh-huh,” she said, letting go of me and stepping into my living room. “Where’s Lance?” “I haven’t called him, yet.” “Well, call him, sugar. I’m not going back out in that rain for love or money, but it’s supposed to
let up after lunch. We’ve got to start planning and we can’t do this without Lance.” I called Lance and he screeched louder than Dilly had at the news and said he’d be over in an hour. Then, I sat on my couch with Dilly. She may have been up before her normal wake-up, even during the week the library didn’t open until ten, but she looked alert and chipper and happy. “Okay,” she said. “What brought about this change?” “Another bad date. I’m not ready to jump on the bandwagon that says I’m cursed, but it couldn’t hurt to take a break and, during that break, I want to have fun. I want to try out being a bit wild and irresponsible.” “Tell me all about this guy and the date, so I can thank him.” I groaned. I just wanted to forget about it. “You know Pauly Pickle?” Dilly scrunched up her nose. “Eww, why would you go out with him? Isn’t he a junkie?” I gave her a weak smile. “He just looks like a junkie. Not all of us age well, you know. He’s a janitor at the school and he does a good job, he’s very reliable.” “So you went out with him?” I snorted. “No, I went out with his younger brother, Ray Pickle. He was kind of cute in high school.”
“Oh, yeah,” she said, her eyes widening. “I forgot about him. He was cute. Is he still cute? What’s he doing now?” “He’s a clerk at the courthouse,” I said. “And yeah, he’s still kind of cute, but he also dresses like he’s nineteen and he still lives at home with his mother.” “Oh.” She leaned away from me like my curse might be contagious. “Oh, no. Where’d he take you?” “Well, he walked to my house, so he could save gas money, and I drove us out to the lake for a picnic.” She scrunched her nose up and scowled. She was not an outdoorsy girl. “Was he under some delusion that picnics are romantic?” “If he was, he got it all wrong. The only food he brought was stale bread for the ducks.” She smiled. She knew me so well. “I can only imagine that went over like a ton of bricks.” I might get a little bit carried away when it comes to protecting our native wild life, but I don’t think it’s ever wrong to look out for those weaker than ourselves. “He didn’t believe me when I told him bread is bad for ducks. I even showed him an article on my phone about how ducks should eat bugs and weeds. He said it was probably fake news and he was going to feed the bread to the ducks anyway.”
“How cruel!” she said. “Did you show him the pictures of that wing thing they get from a diet of bread? Did you tell him they die?” “Angel wing. And yes, I did. He didn’t believe me or he didn’t care. I just…I mean…What a monster.” “Did you tell him about the poisonous algal blooms that too much bread in the pond can cause?” “I didn’t bother. He clearly wanted to pretend science and fact don’t exist. There was no talking to him. So, I grabbed the bag of bread, dumped it out into the trash can, being sure nothing was left where the ducks could get it, and shut the lid tight.” “Good for you. I can’t stand a man who thinks he knows everything. What did he do?” I shook my head, anger I thought I’d buried reemerging. “He demanded I pay him fifty-two cents for the lost bread and then asked me to take him home.” “The nerve,” she said. “You left him there and told him to walk home, right?” I stared at her for a long moment. She was so much harsher than me. “Um, we were six miles from his house, Dilly. I paid him the fifty-two cents and I drove him home. Then I hung out at the bookstore until I felt better and had calmed down.” “What’d you buy?” Dilly was almost a bigger book junkie than me.
I showed her my purchases and she oohed and aahed over them. I lent her two that I knew I wouldn’t be getting to anytime soon. “How’s it going with Wayne?” I asked. Dilly liked to pretend she was care-free and uninterested in a serious relationship with anyone, but deep down she was a huge romantic. I might want a husband and a family, but I was realistic about it. Stable family life and passionate romance didn’t go together well, and I knew it was a dreamer’s silly wish to expect to find a man I could trust to care for me and our family and for him to also be someone I loved with any sort of fictional-level romantic attachment. I’d never admit that to Dilly, though, or she’d insist I read her entire collection of romance books. She pursed her lips and looked away. “It didn’t work out. I didn’t expect it to. We were just having fun.” Dilly knew that I knew she was a romantic, but it was not something either of us admitted aloud. I knew it hurt Dilly every time one of her romantic hopes was crushed. “What happened? It seemed like you two got along really well.” She looked down at her hands, picking at the polish on her thumbnail. “Turns out all those trips he was taking for ‘business’ were actually for another woman. You know I don’t date guys who are dating someone else, no matter how casual we
are.” “I know.” If it was me, I’d want sympathy and hugs, but Dilly just liked to pretend the guy had never mattered to her and move on. “It’s good you found out the truth before he got attached and things got messy.” She stared out the window, her eyes a bit damp. Dilly hated to let anyone, even me, see her sad or disappointed, so I waited until she cleared her throat, swiped at her eyes, and turned to me. “I’ve already forgotten him. And I’m ready to go out and flirt and have some fun with my girl tonight. Chicks before dicks and all that.” “Gals before guys.” “Dames before dudes.” “Babes before pork steeples.” She snort-laughed. “I can’t believe you just used the phrase pork steeple.” I smiled, glad to see her laughing. “Believe it, baby. This is just the beginning of wild, cut-loose, care-free Carrie Harrison.” She clapped her hands in glee. “Where’s your computer? We need a list for this shopping trip. I don’t want you buying a bunch of clothes you aren’t going to wear this time.” I took her back to my office and we visited Dilly’s favorite on-line clothing shops until we had a pretty good idea of what sort of clothes I was looking for. I won’t say I was excited about the
styles, but I thought I might actually wear the outfits we found. Dilly called it a more classic or traditional style that could still be sexy if I wore it right. And maybe bought clothes with a tighter fit. Lance showed up an hour later than he said he would, just as we were ready to head out. He brought sandwiches, so we stayed in and ate. And then we went shopping. My first step in my life make-over was to spend a good chunk of the money I’d been saving for new furniture on new clothes. I got three outfits for going out, a slinky, sparkly racer-back top and skinny jeans, a lacy, sheer top and a pair of black pants, and a nearly sheer, low-cut blouse paired with a short, flouncy skirt, as well as two new outfits for work with a closer, more modern fit. I also get my hair done in a more modern, chunkier style, and I even bought my first pair of sky-high heels. I’d probably kill myself in them, but I had great life insurance, so Harrison would benefit. We got home in time for a late dinner of takeout pizza. Lance and Dilly had also gotten new clothes, so we all dressed and got ready at my place. Dilly talked me into wearing my most daring new outfit, the sheer lacy top. It was long-sleeved and high-necked, but it revealed my midriff and the black bra I wore under it was entirely visible. I fought the urge to cross my arms over my middle and slid on the black pants and my new heels. I
looked in the mirror and wasn’t sure I knew who the woman looking back at me was. I swallowed hard. I was a healthy, active twenty-eight-year-old who deserved a night out, who deserved to have fun. I put on the cute, dangly earrings I’d gotten and went out to the living room to wait for Dilly with Lance. “You look gorgeous,” Lance said. I swear he had tears in his perfect green eyes. “I always knew you could be this beautiful.” I scowled. “The appropriate thing to say, Lance, is that I’ve always been this beautiful.” He didn’t back down an inch. “You were hiding all your beauty under those granny clothes and that uber-responsible attitude. You’re lucky I looked beyond skin-deep or I might never have bothered giving you the time of day.” “I appreciate your sacrifice.” “And now it’s all been worth it. You are going to kill it tonight, Miss Carrie.” “As are you, Sir Lance.” He was looking very fine in a button-down shirt that fit him just so, and tailored pants. “I hear you deserve this night out as much as I do.” He waved a hand. “I’ve seen it before, but it never gets easier, you know?” Lance had stumbled upon a tenth-grade girl giving an eleventh-grade boy a blow job. He’d had to haul them both to the principal’s office. It wasn’t
anything we all didn’t know went on, but it was never easy seeing it firsthand. As much as those kids thought of themselves as adults, they were children to us. “I do know. Liza said the girl is Edie Woods. She’s creating quite a reputation for herself.” Lance frowned. “Liza will talk to her, of course, but I get the impression things aren’t so good for Edie outside of school. We can’t go home with them, you know.” “Sometimes I wish I could just adopt them all.” “In happier news,” he said. “Shane is doing great. He’s really found his niche giving guitar lessons to freshmen and leading the brand-new rock and rollers club.” It was a dorky name, but it seemed to be drawing quite the interest. Shane was an eleventhgrade boy who’d been bullied for being gay by several older kids in the school. He was in a dark place, but Lance had stepped in and helped him find ways to make school a more enjoyable experience. Of course, the bullies had been punished, but that was no guarantee they’d leave Shane alone. The guitar lessons and the club had elevated Shane’s self-confidence and he seemed like a much happier kid. “You did good, Lance.” I stepped over and gave him a hug. “All the kids are lucky to have you.”
“How’s Kayla doing?” “Not good.” “I’m ready to go,” Dilly shouted. She stepped into the living room in four-inch stilettos and a skintight dress that barely covered her ass and put her cleavage on full-display. “You do know we’re just going to Philistine’s, right?” Lance said. Philistine’s was a nice club near the college, but it was more laid-back than Dilly’s outfit. “That just means everyone will be looking at me.” Lance rolled his eyes at me. “Of course. What was I thinking?” “I’ll just run next door and tell Cody we’re ready to go,” Dilly said. “Okay,” I said, before her words sank in. She was halfway to the door, when I grabbed her elbow and pulled her back. “What did you just say?” Her lips curled up in what Lance called her evil witch smile, and I knew she was up to something. “I bumped into him when I carried your trash out after lunch. He said he would love to join us tonight.” My heart flipped and my stomach roiled with nerves. The last time I’d seen him, I’d been running away as fast as I could after I’d woken up clinging to him like a sex-starved spinster. My cheeks heated at the memory and I just couldn’t…I
couldn’t face him. In large part, because it had felt beyond good to wake up wrapped around him, a very important part of his anatomy hard and heavy against my thigh. “He’s a jerk,” I said. “Why let him ruin our night?” Dilly waved her hand. “You want to have fun? That man has fun written all over him in big letters. Seriously, if you don’t want him I’d be more than happy to take him off your hands.” Something bright and white hot flashed through me and I had a sudden vision of just how happy he’d be to see Dilly in that revealing outfit on his porch. My stomach roiled again and I felt worse at that idea than I’d felt at the mention of him joining us. Was I actually jealous? Oh, no. No, no, no. Carrie Matilda Harrison had better control of her emotions than that. Carrie Matilda Harrison would not let emotions get involved with the deadbeat Neanderthal next door. “I’ll go tell him we’re ready,” I said, my mouth disagreeing with my brain. Dilly frowned. “Don’t you dare un-invite him, Carrie.” “I would never do something so rude.” I marched out the front door, down the porch steps and over to Cody’s door before Dilly could stop me. I rang the bell and waited, tapping my toe on his wraparound porch. He really did have the best
porch. Cody flung the door open and froze, his eyes raked over me with a heat that made me tingly all over. I was also frozen because he looked amazing. He was wearing his typical t-shirt and jeans, but the shirt was a little more fitted than usual and his jeans were dark and had a bit of a shine to them. His rugged belt did not match his equally rugged boots, but it didn’t matter, the whole package was mouthwatering. He cleared his throat and my eyes rose to his face again. He was clean-shaven for the first time since I’d met him and his hair was slicked back like he’d just gotten out of the shower, only a few strands slipped over his forehead and into his face. “See something you like?” “Not a thing.” I put my hands on my hips and forced a frown. What the hell was wrong with me? I did not find him attractive. He was entirely wrong for me. “You?” His eyes roamed over me again and I repressed a shiver. “Dilly said you were trying a new look. It suits you.” “Thanks.” I was thrown off guard by his sincere compliment and hated that the word came out a bit breathless. “You and Dilly seem to have become fast friends.” “That a problem?” I bit my lip, considering, and his eyes zoomed to my mouth, making it very, very hard for me to
think. Was it a problem that he and Dilly were now friends who discussed me behind my back? Hell, yes, but he didn’t need to know that. “It’s fine,” I said. “But you should probably know that she just got out of a messy relationship, and I don’t want you getting the wrong idea. She’s really not ready to be dating or…Whatever…” I was totally lying through my teeth. What in the ever-loving hell was wrong with me? It was just that the idea of him making a move on Dilly right in front of me… Because he wasn’t good enough for her, of course. Not because I was jealous. His mouth twisted into a frown. “I’ve got no intention of making a move on your friend. Are you saying you don’t want me to go out with y’all tonight?” “Well, of course it’s not that I don’t want you to join us,” I said. “It’s just that—” “Great.” He stepped through the doorway and brushed by me, pulling the door shut behind him. “Let’s go. You can ride with me.” “Well, no, actually I was going to ride with Dilly and Lance.” His lips pulled into a dramatic frown. “Well, I can’t go alone. I’m new around here and I don’t know my way to the club. I didn’t think you’d want Dilly to ride with me, but—” “Oh, for the love of moles and molehills. I’ll ride with you. I’ll just tell the others to meet us
there.” I went back to my house and told Lance and Dilly the plan. Dilly looked way too happy with the arrangement, and I got the distinct impression I’d just fallen into one of her traps. Cody was already in his truck, the engine humming. Before I reached his driveway, though, he hopped out, jogged around the front, and opened the passenger door for me. I accepted his help up and onto the high seat and buckled my belt while he closed the door. His nice manners had struck me a bit dumb, but by the time he’d rounded the front of the truck, I’d reminded myself of all the times he’d been severely lacking in manners. He pulled to the end of his driveway. “Which way?” Dilly and Lance had already gone, so I couldn’t tell him to follow them. “Take a right and then another right out of the neighborhood.” We rode in silence, except for me giving him directions, and pulled up in front of Philistine’s ten minutes later. Philistine’s was an old warehouse that had been converted on the inside, but the outside was pretty much untouched. “Nice place,” Cody said. “It’s better inside.” There were lots of people heading inside and it was hard not to feel the buzz of anticipation and energy in the air and get
excited. I jumped out and met Cody at the front of the truck. He took my hand and it felt good, natural and warm. I should have dropped it, but it had been a long time since I’d been out to a club and I was more than a little nervous. It felt good to have him by my side, unflappable, clearly used to an active night-life. The heavy beat of hip-hop hit us as soon as we walked in. The place was already crowded, and I didn’t see Dilly or Lance anywhere. I huffed in annoyance. They weren’t supposed to leave me on my own. I wasn’t ready yet. I popped to my tiptoes to look for them, but Cody was already pulling me through the crowd. I followed in his wake, amazed at how easily he moved through the laughing, swaying people. He was heading toward the bar, but I didn’t want a drink, I wanted to find my friends and get away from his very intoxicating presence. I pulled against him, but he yanked me against his side and wrapped one large arm around my shoulders. I was pinned to him by physical restraint, but also by the warmth of his body and the delicious smell of him, wine and something masculine and spicy. It felt really good, so I didn’t fight too hard against his grip. He steered me to a small table in a far corner of the large club. Dilly and Lance were there, deep in conversation. I pulled out from under Cody’s arm and hurried over to my friends.
“There she is,” Dilly said. She shoved a drink in my hand. It was pink and pretty and probably one of Dilly’s too-sweet favorites. “Drink,” she said. “Then we dance.” Cody stepped up behind me, his body warm against my back. Ordinarily, I would have sipped the drink and chatted with my friends, but I didn’t feel like sitting around. I felt like spinning around and pressing my body against Cody’s. So, I chugged the drink, grabbed Dilly’s hand and pulled her out to the dance floor. Lance hated dancing, but he loved people watching, so I didn’t feel bad about leaving him with Cody. I doubted they’d find anything to talk about, but that wasn’t my problem. I hadn’t been out dancing in way too long, more than six months, and I loved it. I didn’t listen to hip-hop or rap or techno at home, but I loved the beat on the dance floor. I hadn’t gone out more often because of Harrison and my string of bad blind dates, but that was going to change. I was turning over a new leaf, a fun leaf, a going out at least once a week leaf. I faced Dilly and we danced until we got thirsty. I had another drink, when I should have had water, because Lance and Cody were deep in conversation and seemed to be getting along. I went back out to the dance floor with my feet barely touching the ground and my head in the clouds. Everything was wonderful, everyone was
gorgeous, and I was young and free and having the time of my life. I faced Dilly and started to move. Someone put their warm, big hands on my hips. I widened my eyes at Dilly and she gave me the thumbs up, so I spun in the guy’s arms and came face to face with bright blue eyes, an easy smile, and a pretty face. I could definitely work with this and, if I danced well enough and smiled enough, maybe I could forget that for a moment I’d hoped it was Cody’s hands on my hips. I danced with the beautiful stranger and I let him put his hands all over me, something I’d never allowed in the past, because it felt good and I was young and this was fun. I pushed aside the buzz of worry in the back of my skull and threw my arms around his neck. New hands grabbed my hips and pulled me away from the beautiful boy and I looked up to see brown eyes and a scowl. It was too loud to talk, so I scowled back at Cody. He pulled me tight against his body and he started to move. I mean really move. This wasn’t like the pretty boy who was just undulating to the music, Cody’s large body moved in a sinuous rhythm that made me think of dark bedrooms and bare skin and thrusting — I pushed away from him and mimed that I needed a drink. I stumbled off the dance floor and to the bar, waiting for the bartender to see me. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Cody
asked, sliding up to the bar next to me. I’d been planning to have water, but his words made me change my mind. “Not at all. I’ve got a high tolerance.” I did not have a high tolerance, but I didn’t need a babysitter and more booze might help me to stop thinking about how much I wanted to lick the throbbing pulse in his neck. I turned away and flagged down the bartender. I was losing my ever-loving mind. The bartender finally made his way down the bar, and I ordered a tequila shot and a martini, just because I could, damn it. Before I could dig out my money, Cody laid his on the bar. He raised his eyebrows when I lifted the tequila shot to my mouth and I downed it, like a pro. Professional drinker that is, not prostitute. *** My head hurt and I was pretty sure I was on a ship because the bed was rocking in a slow, undulating rhythm. I wanted to open my eyes but it was too bright and I knew it would hurt. I already hurt too much. I couldn’t take more pain. I groaned and tried to roll away from the light, but it was everywhere. I was surrounded by light, light with razor blades attached to it. “Here, sweetheart,” a male voice said, and the brightness dimmed a bit. “Is that better?”
“Mmmm, Yes, thank you.” I didn’t know who the voice belonged to, he could be a kidnapper or a serial killer, and I really didn’t care, because he’d made the light hurt less and I loved him for it. The bed or boat shifted and warmth came near. “You can stay in bed all day if you want, but last night you told me you needed to go to church this morning. Something about being an usher.” And just like that, I hated him because he’d brought reality in and reality hurt. “Go away.” He chuckled. “This is my house, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.” I cracked one eye open to see Cody, shirtless, leaning over me. “Why am I at your house?” “You were pretty drunk last night. I didn’t want to leave you alone. And I know where the aspirin and the glasses are at my house.” “Glasses?” “For water,” he said. “You want some?” “Yes.” It felt like my mouth had been stuffed with sand at some point during the previous night. He helped me sit up and handed me a cool glass of water. I drank it in three fast swallows, not caring that my stomach rumbled in discontent. “Aspirin?” He dropped two tablets in my hand and gave me another glass of water. I drank them down and passed him the glass back. I was wearing one of his t-shirts and I still had on panties and a bra, so I was
pretty sure we hadn’t slept together, but he’d definitely taken off my clothes. “Um, what happened last night?” He leaned back against the headboard and stuck his legs straight out in front of him. “I thought you had an unusually high tolerance?” My words came back and bit me in the ass, just like I would have known they would if I’d been remotely sober when I’d said them. “Yeah, I might have exaggerated a tiny bit. I don’t really remember anything after that shot.” He shook his head, his smile growing. “That’s too bad. You put on quite the show.” I didn’t like the smug look on his face and I hated being in a position of not knowing if he was telling me the truth. I knew better than to drink too much, I didn’t do it often, but when I did I always blacked out. I didn’t pass out, I still functioned like I was fully present, but I’d wake the next day with no memory of what happened. After the last time, while I was still in college, I’d sworn it would never happen again. Cody’s mere presence had made me lose control, had made me act in ways I normally never would. It wasn’t his fault, but he wasn’t good for me. That much was very, very clear. “Just tell me one thing,” I said. “And don’t mess around. Did we have sex last night? Did we do anything at all?” He leaned in close, so close I felt his words against my lips. “Sweetheart, if I’d touched you last
night, if I’d tasted your sweet lips, you would most definitely remember.” His proximity and his words made me forget my headache and my twisting stomach and I found myself leaning toward him, wanting to touch him, to close the distance between us. I was stronger than my primal urges, so I backed away from him and slid out of his bed. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be late to church.” He beat me to the front door and blocked my path. “Sweetheart,” he said, his voice a low husky growl. “The next time we share a bed, I’m not going to let you run away from me.” “Okay,” I said, because we’d never share a bed again. “It’s a deal. Will you move so I can go home?” He handed me my purse from where it lay on the floor next to his front door and I ran out of his house and all the way back to mine. I didn’t even bother to take the time to look for my clothes, his tshirt fell to my knees and I ran fast. I slammed through my front door and inside, slumping to the floor as soon as the door had closed behind me. Ooowwww. That was a really stupid thing to do when I was hungover. I put one hand to my aching head and one to my roller-coastering stomach. This was what I got when I decided to go out and live a little, a hangover from hell and an awkward wakeup in a bed with the Neanderthal next door. Dilly
was wrong, fun was definitely overrated. I got to my feet slowly and limped to the bathroom, trying not to jostle my stomach too much. I took off Cody’s t-shirt and absolutely did not luxuriate in the smell, slipped off my panties and bra and stepped into the hot shower. There was nothing quite like a nice, long shower when I felt like a cow patty that had been stomped on by an elephant. I shut the water off and toweled dry and left the bathroom, naked, to head to my room and dress. Yeah, my house was so small that I only had one bathroom and it was in the hall, right across from the living room. And, yeah, I absolutely did consider it one of the perks of living alone that I could walk around naked whenever I wanted. There weren’t a lot of perks to living alone, so I made the most of them. I stepped out of the bathroom, stark naked, steam still hissing off my body and almost ran into Cody. Cody who was standing in my hallway. His eyes tracked over my naked body and I just stood there, my hung-over brain not operating correctly or quickly. The heat in his eyes sparked a heat in me that I was in no hurry to escape. Luckily, my survival instinct kicked in and I slapped hands over my breasts and my hoo-ha and ran for my bedroom. I heard Cody say a very ungentleman-like word behind me. I slammed my door, my heart racing like I’d just escaped a near-
death experience. Apparently being hung-over sent my heart into overdrive. I pulled on dress slacks and a nice sweater over sensible panties and a bra - I just couldn’t wear sexy underwear to church. I was an Episcopalian, so I didn’t believe much was sinful, that’s just not how we rolled, but it seemed more respectful, somehow, not to wear skimpy lingerie in the Lord’s presence. I didn’t even bother combing my hair. I stormed back out of my room to face Cody, who was pacing in my living room and muttering something at the region of his crotch. “What the heck are you doing in my house?” I asked. Cody turned to face me. His cheeks were a bit pink. Was he blushing? His eyes went immediately to my chest and he swore again, his hands curling into fists. “I brought some food over for you, since I figured you wouldn’t have anything here and hangovers just don’t go well with an empty stomach.” he said, his eyes bouncing up to my face. “I knocked and rang the doorbell, but you didn’t answer and the door was open, so I let myself in. I shouldn’t have, but I was worried you might be sick, and then you were taking so long in the shower, I figured I’d just shout in and let you know there was hot food here so you’d pick up the pace and then you stepped out and I…” He dropped his head into his hands and muttered some more. “Shit.
I’m really fucking sorry. I know I’ve invaded your space and I promise I am not a creeper, I—” I knew I was missing a golden opportunity to use his guilt against him, but he was kind of cute, all embarrassed and babbling. He was usually so smug and self-assured and his nervousness, his discomfiture…It was just plain adorable. Plus, he’d mentioned food and my fickle stomach, that had been sloshing in discontent a moment before, rumbled with queasy hunger. “Did you say you brought food?” His concern changed instantly to a cocky smile and I internally kicked myself for not punishing him for his bad behavior. “It’s in the kitchen.” I followed him to the kitchen to see a plate of eggs and bacon and hash browns, actual hash browns, and a second plate of pancakes, fluffy, delicious pancakes. On one of the kitchen chairs, my clothes from the night before were neatly folded. Forget torturing this jerk, maybe I should marry him. I might be able to put up with his snarky attitude if he graced me with food like this every day. “How’d you have time to make all this?” He shrugged. “I did most of it while you were sleeping. I’d just finished it up when you ran away.” “I didn’t run away,” I said. “I hurried out so I wouldn’t be late for church.” I somehow doubt my words had the intended effect, because I sat down and picked up a fork as I said them. I took a bite of
melt-in-my-mouth pancake and groaned in absolute ecstasy. I was in food heaven. Cody shifted behind me. “I should probably head home.” I took a bite of eggs that had a slight hint of cheese and something spicy and moaned. “You bring me food like this and you can stay as long as you want, whenever you want.” I blame the food for my poorly considered invitation. Cody leaned over, his mouth right next to my cheek. “I just might just take you up on that, sweetheart.” I spun to tell him I wanted a take back, but the fact that his words made my body melt like warm butter and that I was severely hung over must have made me move more slowly than normal. By the time I’d spun to face him, he was already gone, my front door closing behind him. If I hadn’t had a pile of food in front of me, I might have been more upset about his abrupt departure and the possibility of him following through on his threat, but I chose to eat and enjoy the moment. I’d just finished putting the last dish in the dishwasher and was about to leave, when someone knocked on my door. My heart leapt into my throat. Had Cody come back? What could he possibly want? That question made images of Cody’s pouty
lips and his warm body against mine flash in my mind and I forgot where I was until a second knock startled me out of my reverie. I hurried to the door and flung it open to see Kayla, a little girl, and a little boy on my front porch. Kayla’s eyes were red and watery, but it looked like she’d washed her hair and her dress was clean. The two younger children were clinging to her, their eyes wide and afraid. “Kayla,” I said. I opened the door wider and gestured the three of them inside. “Is everything okay?” She didn’t move from her spot on my porch. “Miss Harrison,” she said, as though she were reciting a practiced speech. She looked so much younger than she did at school. “I was outside, playing with Simon and Jenny before church and I…I locked us out of the house. Dad’s at work and I don’t know how to get us inside. I…” Her lower lip trembled and it looked like she was about to lose it. I could only imagine how scary it must have been for her, to be stuck outside with two young children and no idea what to do. I also suspected there was a lot more to her story, like how she’d gotten to my house, but I wasn’t going to push her on the details. Not when she was so upset and not when her brother and sister were standing right there, looking at her like she’d invented dolls and race cars. “That sounds like the sort of thing I would do,”
I said. “Have you eaten?” “I’m hungry,” Jenny said, her voice little girl sweet. Kayla tightened her grip on the little girl. “We’ve had breakfast,” she said firmly. “Simon needs to use the bathroom.” “Okay,” I said. “Simon is welcome to use my bathroom.” I pointed it out to the little boy. He walk-hopped there like he really had to go. “I’m on my way to church, myself,” I said. “I’m an usher today. You three are welcome to come with me. There will be snacks there.” I didn’t miss the flash of hunger in Kayla’s eyes or the goose bumps on her bare arms. It was spring, but it was still chilly in the mornings, and it looked like it might rain. “If you’re sure it’s okay,” Kayla said. “Our church is on the other end of town, past the college…Too far to walk. We usually get a ride with Mrs. Simmons, but she’d already left and…” There were so many holes in this story it was see-through, but I didn’t want to ask any questions that might scare them off. “I’d love for you to go to church with me. It won’t be any trouble at all.” Simon came out of the bathroom and I piled everyone into my car. I was certain Jenny should have a booster seat, but I didn’t have one and it wasn’t far to the church. I drove slowly and carefully and we arrived all in one piece.
*** I made it to church just in time to get Kayla, Simon, and Jenny set up with snacks and seated in pews, before I went to perform my usher duties. Lance was my co-usher and he looked natty and bright-eyed. “Good morning, sunshine,” he said. “How are you feeling?” I grabbed a stack of church bulletins to hand out and glared at him. “A bit betrayed by my very best friends who allowed a Neanderthal to carry me home.” Lance laughed. “That wasn’t the tune you were singing last night, darling. You told both me and Dilly that you wanted Cody and his big, strong arms to take you home.” Ugh, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, somehow it did. “Please tell me he didn’t hear me say that.” Lance’s smile widened. “He didn’t hear you say that, but he did hear you when you told him he had very kissable lips.” “No,” I said, my heart sinking into my toes. Lance laughed just as Norma Jane walked up. She leaned in close and pecked my cheek. Then she took a bulletin from my hand and winked at me. “Very fine choice, Carrie. That Cody is a real gentleman and very easy on the eyes. Your parents
will be pleased.” Oh, no. This couldn’t be happening. I was in a nightmare. Or in hell. Maybe I’d died from alcohol poisoning and I was in hell. At church, in hell. I shook my head. “What do you mean?” Norma Jane pursed her lips. “You know how I hate gossip, so I don’t put any stock in what Betty told me, but I saw you, with my own two eyes, leaving Cody’s house this morning. Then, he carried breakfast over to your house. What a sweet, caring young man.” I widened my eyes at Lance, but he just laughed harder as he passed out more bulletins. “Norma Jane, what did Betty say?” Norma Jane’s eyes sparked with excitement. She had lied in church and everyone knew it. She loved gossip. “Well, her grandson, you know, the mortician that you dissed?” “I didn’t diss him—” Lord save me from gossips who tried to use slang they were forty years too late for. “Well, he was at that club last night and he told Betty that you danced very provocatively with several young men and went home draped over Cody. Betty, of course, thinks such behavior makes you a right hussy, but I say more power to you girl. You’re young and you ought to be enjoying as much cock as you can.” I choked on some renegade saliva and nearly
hacked up the breakfast Cody had fixed me. “It’s not what you think,” I said, gripping Norma Jane’s hand a bit more tightly than I should have. “Cody and I are…The truth is I don’t even like him very much.” Norma Jane frowned and shook her head. “I hope you’re lying to seem more ladylike, Carrie Harrison.” “But I’m not,” I said. “I would tell you if I was in a relationship. Cody just helped me out last night.” “That will not do,” she muttered. She pulled her hand from mine and pursed her lips in thought. “I will have to make some more calls.” I stared after her as she walked away, a sinking feeling of dread immobilizing me for a moment. I looked over at Lance, who was still laughing at me, the rat bastard. “What is she talking about? Who is she going to call?” Lance wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m sure I have no idea. She’s probably senile.” He pretended to be busy handing out bulletins and straightening the table inside the vestibule but I knew he was lying to me. I also knew I’d get nothing out of him. The man was like a bank vault when it came to secrets. I finished handing out the bulletins. Before I went to take my seat with the kids, Lance wrapped an arm around my shoulders and looked over at
them. “Everything okay, there?” he asked. “I have no idea. I’ll call you later.” Kayla smiled at me when I sat next to her. Jenny climbed into her lap, rested her head on Kayla’s chest, and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Kayla pressed a kiss to the top of the little girl’s head. Simon was sitting up straight on the other side of Kayla, watching as the acolytes took their seats and the service began. They all looked so young and so weary, and my heart ached. What was going on at home? How much of a mother’s role was Kayla taking on? She was just fifteen and she was bright and ambitious, but she also seemed sad and lonely. By the time the service had ended, Jenny was fast asleep on Kayla’s chest. “Would you like me to take her?” I asked. “I can carry her to the car.” Kayla forced a smiled. “She’ll freak out if she wakes up and doesn’t see me, I’ll take her.” I led the kids to my car and Simon jumped into the back. Kayla woke Jenny up before she slid her into the back seat, and sat next to me in the front passenger seat. “Can I take y’all to lunch?” I asked. “Or would you rather go home?” “I’m hungry,” Simon whined from the back seat. “We have food at home,” Kayla said, her voice firm, though soft and sad. “No, we don’t,” Simon said, his whine taking
on a hard edge. “I’m tired of noodles.” Kayla spun in her seat and glared at her brother. “We’ve imposed on Miss Harrison enough, Simon.” “I’m hungry, too,” Jenny said, her voice small but insistent. “I want real food.” “Noodles are real food,” Kayla said. “Dad’s home from work and he wants us home.” I knew better than to argue with a parent’s orders and so did Simon and Jenny, apparently, because aside from a few mutters and grumbles, they quieted down. “How about we just go through the drive-through?” I said. “I’m starving myself.” Kayla gave me a small nod, though her eyes were dark with emotions I could only guess at. “That would be nice. Thank you, Miss Harrison.” I took them to my favorite fast food place. Kayla tried to pretend she only wanted an order of fries, but Jenny and Simon had no qualms about speaking up and requesting half the menu. I got a cheeseburger for Kayla and milk shakes all around. My car would be an absolute mess by the time I got them home, but it was worth it when I saw the smiles on Simon and Jenny’s faces and watched them dig in to their meals. Kayla didn’t eat, but clutched her food tight while she texted hurried messages on her phone. I wondered if she had a boyfriend I didn’t know about.
When I pulled into the driveway at her house, a man stepped immediately onto the concrete stoop at the front of their two-story house. The siding needed a good power-washing and it looked like the yard hadn’t been mowed in a couple of weeks, but the man on the stoop, though scarecrow thin, wore clean jeans and a button-down shirt that looked like it had been recently pressed. He grinned and waved. Kayla was out of the car before I’d put it in park. She raced to the stoop and pretty much shoved her father into the house. Then she turned and hollered for the kids. Simon groaned. “She’s so bossy,” he said. But he got out of the car and plodded to the house. I got out of the car, hoping to talk to their father and get a better idea of what was going on, but Jenny leapt out of the car and threw her tiny arms around my waist. She held her milkshake in one hand and her bag of food in the other. “Thank you for lunch, Miss Harr’son.” “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” I peered into the car to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything, but the bench seat in the back was spotless, not even a crumb or drop of milkshake in sight. By the time I looked up, Jenny was running into the house, the door closing behind her. I considered following her, knocking on the door, and asking to speak to their father, but I didn’t know what I’d say and the truth is all I had
to say began and ended with the question, ‘what’s wrong in this house?’ Probably not the best way to get on his side and earn his confidence. I shook off my concerns. The only secret they were likely hiding was that money was tight and Kayla’s father had to work two jobs to support them. That would explain why he had hadn’t been home that morning and why Kayla got her sister from the bus. He was probably doing the best he could, and my prying do-gooder tendencies would be of no help to anyone. I’d keep an eye on Kayla at school and be there if she needed me. That’s all I could do. I went back to my quiet, comfortable house, I ate my take-out, and I worried about those kids with every tick of the clock on my kitchen wall. I called Lance after I’d eaten and told him what I’d seen. “You did the right thing,” he said. “You made sure the kids were fed and safe. There’s nothing else you could do, so stop beating yourself up about it.” “I’m not beating myself up about anything,” I lied. He sighed. “I know you, Carrie. You suspect something is going on with Kayla and you want to fix it, but you can’t force everyone you care about to be happy. For all we know, she’s a typical teenager struggling with keeping up with fashion trends when money’s tight at home.”
“It’s more than that.” “Yeah. Probably. But until she comes to you and tells you what’s going on, there’s nothing more you can do.” He paused. “Unless you have a good reason to suspect she or the other two are being abused.” “No. You know I’d have told you if I’d seen anything like that. All physical signs indicate you’re right and they’re just very poor. It’s just…” “Your intuition is telling you there’s more going on, but intuition isn’t enough of a reason, Carrie, to intrude on someone’s life.” “I know.” It was a fact of life as a teacher that we saw things, things we felt were wrong. Freedoms that parents allowed kids that we felt were more than they could handle or parents who were too busy to know or care how many hours their kids were spending watching on-line porn or sexting or wearing clothes that exposed their children to the wrong kind of attention. None of that was right, but none of it was illegal, and interfering, telling a parent they were making a mistake, overstepped a boundary we were supposed to respect. I had to respect Kayla’s privacy and her father’s privacy unless I believed something truly dangerous or illegal was going on. “I know you know,” Lance said. “And I know how hard it is to look the other way, to let it go. I also know what will take your mind off it.”
I groaned. “Don’t drag it out. Just tell me everything I did last night.” “You were like a different woman,” he said. “A fun, crazy, uninhibited woman.” “That doesn’t sound too bad.” And then he told me everything, not sparing a single detail. I hated and loved him simultaneously for his willingness to see me at my worst, report on it, and still love me. Apparently, I’d danced with Cody almost the entire rest of the night, except for one time when I escaped him and tried to dance with some guy Lance said looked like he was underage. Cody had saved me, but I’d escaped him again and climbed up on the bar top and danced alone. I’d been kicked out of the bar when I wouldn’t get down and Cody had taken me home. Lance didn’t know everything I’d said to Cody, but I’d apparently been all over him and told him he had great lips and beautiful muscles. I didn’t even like his muscles, they were too big and veiny and muscley. He was so not my type, but I’m afraid I gave him the message the night before that he’s exactly my type. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was an adult. I knew better than to behave that way. I should have known that the one night I tried to let loose and act my age, disaster would strike. I wasn’t just cursed when it came to guys, I was cursed period. I dropped my head in my hands. “I’m going to
become a recluse and only leave my house for work and a run every day. And gardening. I’m so bad at being young.” “No, sweetie,” Lance said. “You drank a bit more than you should have, but you didn’t hurt anyone or anything. You had fun and it looked like Cody was having fun. Don’t feel bad about this and don’t abandon your plan to be young.” “Maybe I’m just not made for fun.” Lance, who was almost never serious, got serious. “You’ve had a lot of bad breaks, sugar, but everyone deserves fun. You more than most. Don’t give up on it, yet.”
CHAPTER SIX Cody Monday morning hit me like Thor’s hammer. I forced myself out of bed and out the door for my run, but I felt like I was running through black tar. I hadn’t slept for shit. My bed still smelled like Carrie and, every time I closed my eyes her naked body flashed in my mind like it was permanently tattooed there. I found myself out of bed and halfway to my front door to go see her three times and, every time, I had to stop myself and go back to my bed. I reminded myself that she was the kind of woman who wanted a relationship and, even if she didn’t leap out of my bed like I had the plague, even if she showed any signs of wanting me when she was sober, I wasn’t in the market for a serious relationship and I couldn’t just bang my neighbor and then pretend not to know her. That would be a dick move. I wasn’t saying I wasn’t a dick, but I was trying to be better. My doorbell rang as I was finishing breakfast and my first thought was of Carrie. Instead, I found Mary Ellen on my porch. She was wearing slim slacks and a sheer blouse, her hair and make-up
perfect, her body out of this world, and still my heart, and other parts of my anatomy, sunk to see her and not Carrie. I shook my head like I could shake off my obsession and Mary Ellen frowned. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m a few minutes early, but I can come back.” Her eyes raked over my body, before landing back on my face and I resisted the urge to cover myself. I hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt, yet, but at least I had on a pair of jeans. Was this how Carrie had felt when I’d ogled her naked body after her shower? “I’m just running a bit behind,” I said. “Give me two minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” Mary Ellen took a seat on my couch. I went back to my room and pulled on a t-shirt, my uniform these days. It was so much better than the suit and tie I’d had to wear every day when I’d been trying to please my father and work in the family business, but I’d put that suit and tie back on in a heartbeat if it gave me just five more minutes with him. Mary Ellen stood when I walked back out. “Do you want your girlfriend to join us today?” she asked, her lips pursed. I just stared at her, confused. “I don’t have a girlfriend.” She smiled. “I didn’t think so, but you know gossip. I just had to check.” “What gossip?” A nasty rumor could get me
run out of this town by townspeople waving pitchforks and rifles. I knew that from experience. Mary Ellen waved her hand. “I don’t care for gossip myself, but folks are saying you went home with your neighbor the other night and that she stayed here until morning.” A sour taste filled the back of my throat. Did people in this town have nothing better to do than talk about other people? “Why is anyone talking about me? How did anyone even notice in a town this size?” Mary Ellen gave me a condescending smile. “The university makes us seem like a much bigger place than we are. There’s only one public high school and people take notice of a new guy moving to town and looking for property.” Shit. I had a bad feeling this was all going to come back to bite me. “How many properties have you got for me today?” “Just the one,” she said, her mouth turned down like she didn’t like my tone. That was okay, because I didn’t appreciate her not so subtle way of prying into my business. “Bartholomew Gregory has finally accepted that his grandkids aren’t interested in his land and he’s not in any shape to care for it. He’s going to move closer to town. His place is exactly what you’re looking for.” Finally, some good news. “Great, take me to it.”
Twenty minutes later, Mary Ellen parked at the end of a winding driveway in front of a three-story, southern Gothic plantation house, with brick facing and two-story pillars. It had a large porch on the first floor and a wrap-around balcony on the second. It was in amazing condition and would be perfect as a bed and breakfast and focal point for events. The weeping willows and ancient oaks in the yard only added to its charm. “Do you want to see the house?” Mary Ellen asked, studying my reaction. “I would have thought you’d be more interested in the land.” “I am. But there’s no way this place is within my budget. This house alone has got to be worth over a million dollars.” “It only looks that way from the outside. Everything in that house dates backs to the early nineteen sixties when it was built to look like an older plantation home. The electric and the plumbing need to be updated or replaced and there’s a fair amount of damage to almost every room, because the roof has needed to be replaced for several years. The owner has only been living in three rooms and has kept the rest of the house shut off.” That would take money to repair, but I could live in the same three rooms until I had a tasting room up and running and had some more money coming in. Not to mention, it would make a perfect
bed and breakfast and save me the expense of building one. “Okay,” I said. “Let’s see the land.” I expected to get back into the car, but Mary Ellen led me up a small rise where we could see acres and acres of cleared land spread out before us. “The owner’s family bred horses and raised beef cattle,” Mary Ellen said, “so they kept the land cleared. The owner let the business go after he got too old to keep it up any more, so there’s some brush grown up, but nothing you couldn’t clear in a couple of good weekends.” I could see that Mary Ellen was right. Despite her love of revealing clothes and gossip, she knew her business and she’d understood what I was looking for and given it to me. I’d have to get soil samples to make sure the land would support a vineyard, but everything else about it was perfect. “How much are we talking?” “He’s asking more than you have, but only by about ten grand. I know he’s ready to get out of the house before it falls down around his ears and, just between you and me, he’s quite well off, so I think you could talk him down.” “Do it.” I took the soil samples I needed, but it wouldn’t be the deciding factor. The land and the house were too good to pass up and I could buy my grapes elsewhere or purchase other land for a vineyard later. The views alone would attract tourists and wine lovers.
We walked back to her car and I signed the necessary paperwork. She put in the phone call while I listened. She talked a long time and told the owner exactly what I was planning to do with the land. She also told him my name, which I didn’t much care for, but it sounded like she knew him. She hung up and looked at me. “He wants to meet you. He says if we stay here, he’ll be back for lunch at the house and we can discuss the deal.” My mouth dropped open in complete shock. “I’m paying you to negotiate with him.” She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “Look, Cody. I’m going to be honest with you. Bart is my great-uncle and his sons, my cousins, are worried some kind of sick about him being out here in this big old house all alone. He was holding onto the property for his grandkids, but they don’t want it. Uncle Bart is very particular about who gets a hold of his land. He won’t sell it to you until he’s convinced you will use it in such a way that will benefit the town and not create a blight on our beautiful countryside.” I just stared at her. I’d thought Catalpa Creek was a progressive, well-populated town, but she was acting like…Well, she wasn’t acting like a realtor ought to act. “You do understand that what you’re doing is highly irregular, right?” Her expression got serious, like she was frustrated, but also ready to fight. I recognized the
professional, calculating business woman in her and I respected it. “Listen, I’m trying to help you and my uncle, Cody. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I will not personally benefit from this sale beyond the commission I make from your end of the deal. Another realtor, from a different firm, is handling the selling end of the deal.” “If that’s true, why did you call your uncle directly, instead of calling his realtor?” “Because he wants me to handle everything,” she said. “He’s eccentric and it’s best if I talk to him, but I won’t see a penny of the money or the paperwork for his end of the deal.” I had no reason to believe her and every good reason to run screaming from this shady deal. Except that I really, really wanted this land, and I believed her. She and I might not agree on much, but I trusted her. “Okay,” I said. “I’m willing to try it your way, but if I get a hint of anything underhand going on, I’m out.” “And you should be. But you have to understand that I’m taking a risk here, too. If this goes bad I could get in real trouble, maybe even lose my license.” A huge, rusty red truck pulled up next to Mary Ellen’s car and a man, in overalls and a shirt as red as his truck, with a white beard to rival the members of ZZ Top, and weighing nearly as much as his truck, stepped out and narrowed his eyes at
me through the windshield. Mary Ellen walked over and hugged the older man. He placed a kiss to the top of her head, but he didn’t take his eyes off me for a moment. I walked over and held out my hand. “Sir, I’m Cody Reynolds. It’s nice to meet you.” He took my hand and shook it, squeezing harder than necessary. “Bartholomew Gregory. Why don’t you come on inside and we’ll have us a little chat.” He lumbered toward the house and I followed. I looked back to see Mary Ellen pulling bags out of the truck with the logo of a local diner on them. Bartholomew led me through a small, dirty living room to an enormous kitchen that looked like it hadn’t been touched since the 1960s. Mary Ellen was right that it needed to be updated, but the size of it was perfect for hosting events. Bartholomew took a seat in a chair and a half that had been pulled up to a table that was covered in piles of what appeared to be junk mail and old newspapers. Bartholomew gestured for me to have a seat and Mary Ellen went to work clearing the mail and the papers off the table so we could eat. “Well, boy,” Bart said. “My Mary Ellen tells me you want to buy my land and make a winery out of it. Is that right?” he leaned forward and narrowed his eyes, like he might be some sort of human lie detector.
Mary Ellen set out buckets of barbecue, mashed potatoes, and biscuits. “Yes, sir,” I said. “It’ll be small to start off. I’ve already got a few wines that another winery makes for me. I can sell them here until I’ve got my own vineyard and winery, and I’m hoping to add events and make the place a real destination once we’re up and running.” Mary Ellen set three plates on the table and poured three glasses of iced tea, Bart loaded up his plate and took a bite of food before he spoke. “So, you’re telling me you have no plans to lie to me, buy this land under false pretenses, and then sell it to a natural gas company that will destroy this land and this town?” My heart sank and my stomach dropped. “You’ve heard of me.” He smirked. “I’m not so old or so backward that I don’t know how to use the internet, young man.” This was beginning to feel more and more like a set-up, since clearly Mary Ellen had mentioned me to him before she’d brought me out here to see the property. I didn’t know anything about this guy, except that he was eccentric, but I knew his type. One thing my father taught me was how to read people, how to identify what they wanted most, because that was how you made the sale or the deal. I knew I wasn’t going to charm my way out of
this or flash some money and impress him, even if I did have money to flash. Only the bald truth was going to convince him of my good intentions. Unfortunately, the bald truth may just be what caused this deal to fall through. “As you know from your internet search, my family is in the hospitality business. We own several hotels and destination properties.” Bart gestured for me to get on with it. “My father was of a mind that he was ready to slow down and spend more time with my mother, and he’d found his dream property. Fifty acres of prime real estate in South Carolina where they could open a horse farm that would keep them just busy enough not to die of boredom and would allow them some time together to relax and travel.” Bart settled into his chair. “Your daddy sounds like a good man.” “He was. In order to get my mother this property and build her the place she wanted, he needed some cash. My brother and sister were more than ready to take over the family business and he didn’t want to take any money out of the business or out of his retirement stash to fund this new venture.” “Didn’t your Daddy have any cash set aside?” I stifled the anger that rose at the implied insult to my dad. “My father worked hard all his life, Mr. Gregory. But he didn’t start making real money
until I was fifteen and my brother joined him in the business. My father had a business to grow and six kids to put through college and he didn’t put aside much cash other than what he put into his retirement fund. He bought the retirement property assuming he’d have no problem selling another property and cash-flowing the whole deal.” I rubbed my temples. I really hated telling this story. “He sent me and my brother to negotiate the sale of a hotel in the southern part of South Carolina to an old friend of his. I’d gone to school to be an enologist and my dream was to add a winery to our family business, but my father wasn’t interested in that sort of undertaking, so I was biding my time and working for the family business in whatever capacity he saw fit.” “Can’t imagine you’re making excuses for yourself, son,” Bart said. “No. I’m not making excuses for myself. I’m just explaining where my head was at. I didn’t take the job as seriously as I should have and when the daughter of our buyer made eyes at me, I bought her a drink and I made a bad choice.” Bad choice was a nice way to put it. “That bad choice destroyed the deal. Payments were coming due on the new property that my father couldn’t afford and he had to let it go. He sold it to the first person to offer.” “A fracking company.”
“Yes sir,” I said. “My father died two days after the deal fell through and my mother never got her horse farm or the years she should have had with my father.” Bart was silent for a long moment and my heart raced as I awaited his verdict. “I appreciate your honesty,” he said. “But how do I know you won’t do the same thing to my property? How do I know you’re even qualified to run a winery?” “Before my father died, he fired me from the family business. I’ve worked at three different wineries over the past six years and I’ve learned everything I can about every aspect of running one. I’ve already got three wines with my company name on them and I’ve been selling them in town here. I can’t promise my winery will succeed, but I can promise that if it doesn’t I won’t sell it to a fracking or mining company.” “That’s a bunch of pretty words,” Bart said. “You seem like a good kid, but I would feel a whole lot better about this deal if I knew you had some connection to Catalpa Creek, some tie here that meant you were truly invested in the town.” “I’m not sure I—” “For instance,” he said. “Are you dating anyone?” “I hardly see how who I date—” “Because if you were dating someone here or had family here or were planning to marry a local,
I’d be a great deal more inclined to sell to you. I’d feel you were truly invested in this town.” “I’m not sure I—” I now had no doubt this was a set-up. I looked over at Mary Ellen, wondering if she was the bait, but her wide eyes, raised eyebrows, and frown suggested she’d not been privy to this part of the plan. “I heard you’ve been real friendly with Carrie Harrison,” Bart said. “I’d be a lot more inclined to sell you this property if you were serious about someone like her, someone who’s got roots in this town.” I just stared at him, finding it hard to believe what I was hearing. “Are you suggesting—” Bart waved a hand in my direction, flinging fried chicken crumbs across the table. “You just think on it.” He shoved back from the table. “I’m going to watch me some T.V. You two wouldn’t mind cleaning up, would you?” “Sure, Uncle Bart,” Mary Ellen said. I stared at her, my chicken untouched and congealing in its own grease. “Is he actually serious?” She nodded slowly. “He’s not one to joke about something like this.” I studied her for another long moment. “Any chance you’d like to date me?” He might want me to date Carrie, but she’d made it clear that she hated me.
She grinned. “I’m not one of those women, Cody, who says one thing and means another. I’d be glad to warm your bed for a few nights, but I don’t do relationships, and I’m not going to lie to my uncle for you.” I wasn’t surprised. “I had to try,” I said. “You think he’s serious about me dating someone?” “Yep,” she said. “He’s serious as a zombie apocalypse.” Her words fitted my situation perfectly. *** I was on the phone to my oldest brother before my front door had fully closed behind me. It was almost three, but Carrie usually worked at the school after the kids left and didn’t get home until five, so I didn’t go to my breakfast nook to watch for her to pull into the driveway. It had become a bad habit of mine to keep track of her comings and goings. I fully understood that I was as nosy as my elderly neighbors, but it quieted something in me to see her arrive home, to get a look at her face and know she was doing okay. Noah picked up on the third ring. “Code Red,” he said. “How is my favorite black sheep?” I snorted. “You remember how pissed you were at me for banging Goldman’s daughter?” That was the part of the story I’d left out when I’d told
my story to Bart. I’d ruined my father’s deal by sleeping with the daughter of the man buying our property. I’d thought she’d understood it was just a fun, one-night deal, but I’d been mistaken. She’d gotten pissed when I refused to date her and she’d told her father every detail of our one-night stand. I was lucky the man had just canceled the deal and not killed me. Noah groaned. “Please tell me you haven’t banged another crazy woman who thinks a night of decent sex is going to be the deciding factor that makes you want to settle down with her.” “Uh, no. But it sounds like you might have shit to work through. Want to talk about it?” “One word,” he said. “Deirdre.” “Oh, holy hell. I thought she’d moved to L.A.” Noah had dated Deirdre in for six months two years ago. It had taken him far longer than it should have to realize she was a few liters short of a gallon, and she got a wee bit stalkerish when he dumped her. Truly stalkerish, not like me watching Carrie’s comings and goings. “She did,” he said. “But she’s back. She says she’s missed me and she’s willing to give me another chance.” “She is truly insane.” “No kidding. But it’s okay. Aubrey moved in with me to protect me.” Aubrey was my brother’s personal assistant
and best friend. She was also drop-dead gorgeous, but Noah didn’t seem to see it. “How is Aubrey going to protect you from crazy?” Aubrey was smart, organized, and capable of keeping Noah in line, but she was only five feet tall and about ninety pounds soaking weight. The idea of her protecting my six-two, two-hundred-pound brother was hilarious. Noah groaned. “It’s a long story. Things may be just a touch out of control here. Get back to why you’re bringing up Rachel Goldman.” “I found a property, the perfect property, Noah, but the guy who owns it won’t sell it to me. He’s worried I’ll sell it to a mining company the way Dad sold the Westridge estate to that fracking company.” “Huh.” “What?” “I always knew that shit would come back to bite us, I’m just happily surprised it bit the one who most deserved it.” “Thanks for that, asshat. What should I do? Is it legal for him not to sell me the property over this?” “It’s his property,” he said. “He can do what the fuck he wants. Has he given you any options?” “None that are reasonable. I was hoping you’d have another angle I could work.” “Nope.”
My doorbell rang. “Someone’s at the door. I’ll call you later.” “No problem.” Noah hung up and I went to the door. Carrie stood on my porch, and something like relief swept through me to see the woman I couldn’t stop thinking about. Except her eyes were red-rimmed and she was sniffling like she’d been crying. “Carrie,” I said, her name leaving me on a sigh. I cleared my throat. “Come on in. Is everything okay?” She walked past me into my house and dropped onto my sofa. “Apparently the whole town knows I got drunk at Philistine’s and stayed the night with you.” I sat next to her. I didn’t really see the problem, since I didn’t give a shit what people said about me, but I could see that it bothered Carrie. “You didn’t make a fool of yourself at the club.” I reached out and rubbed her shoulder, unable to not touch her. “You were having a good time. No one can fault you for that.” She leapt to her feet and started pacing in front of me. I could see that she was visibly upset, but I could also see that her dress hugged her curves and showed off more leg than her usual outfits and I was having a hard time focusing on the words coming out of her mouth. Something about her
principal having it out for her and her career being over. She turned to face me, her whole body shaking. “What should I do?” I had no idea why she’d come to me for advice, but I wasn’t about to turn her away. “Let’s look at this rationally,” I said. “Why does your principal care what you do in your free time?” She threw up her hands and let out this sexy little growl of frustration that nearly brought me to my knees. “Have you been listening to anything I said?” “I’ve been trying,” I said. “But your legs in those heels and the way your breasts bounce when you pace…It’s all a bit distracting.” Sue me, I’ve never seen the point in lying or sugar coating anything. She stood a bit straighter and her cheeks pinked, then she shook her head and stormed for the door. “Why am I even here?” she muttered. I leapt to my feet and blocked her path because, now that she was finally here, I wasn’t about to let her leave. I definitely wasn’t going to let her go home and be sad by herself. “Please.” I took both her hands in mine. “Stay. I’ll cook us dinner and you can tell me everything. I promise to be a better listener.” She wasn’t buying it. I could see her measuring the distance to the door and I knew she’d run if I gave her a chance. “Remember our bet? You owe it
to me to let me feed you dinner tonight.” Her shoulders slumped and she sniffled, all the fight going out of her. The sight of that made me so sad I wanted to piss her off just to see her perk up again. “What are you making?” “Your favorite,” I said. She sniffed again, her eyes filling with tears for no reason I could figure out. “You know my favorite?” “No. But you’re going to tell me and I’m going to make it for you.” “Fettucine Alfredo with seafood.” “Italian,” I said, with a grin. “My kind of woman. I don’t have any seafood, but I could make it with chicken.” “Okay.” I resisted the urge to do a victory dance - a manly one like the football players do when they score a touchdown — and led her into the kitchen and a seat at the bar. “You like wine?” “Sure,” she said. “White if you have it.” “I do. A nice Chardonnay will go really well with the pasta.” Her eyes widened and she looked at me like I’d just grown a second head. “You really do think I’m an idiot, don’t you?” “No,” she started, but stopped herself. “Well, kind of. Yes. Where’d you learn about wines?” “In college. I’m a certified enologist.”
She grimaced like I’d mentioned something gross. “A what?” “It just means I know how to make wine.” I pulled a bottle from my wine fridge, poured a glass, and set it in front of her. It was one of my wines, but I didn’t see the need to brag. Plus, I wanted her honest opinion. She took a long sip and sighed, her eyes closing. “This is really good.” I turned and got what I’d need to make dinner from the pantry and the fridge. “So, are you looking for work around here?” she asked. “The nearest winery is over an hour away.” I put a pot of water onto boil and a cast iron skillet to heat and placed the raw chicken on a cutting board. I sliced as I spoke. “I know. Which is why I want to start my own winery here.” “Where here?” she asked. “You know a guy named Bartholomew Gregory?” “His son, George Gregory, was in my class at school. Are you buying his property? It’s beautiful. It would be a great site for a winery.” “It sure would.” I didn’t want to get into my problems until I’d helped her get a handle on hers. I focused on making dinner, which didn’t take long, and she sat and drank her wine, seemingly lost in thought. She helped me set the table and then we sat down to eat. Normally, I would have made a
salad to go with the dinner, but I thought she needed comfort food. “Okay,” I said, as soon as she’d gotten a few bites into her. “Tell me what’s going on.” “The principal, my boss, is only a year older than me. She and I went to school together and I may have gone out with her boyfriend my junior year before they were officially broken up.” “You were the other woman?” I asked, teasing her, but curious about her high school years. “I had no idea they were still together.” She shook her head. “I guess my curse started back then.” “Curse?” I didn’t buy into mumbo-jumbo like curses or karma or fate. Carrie waved her hand in a dismissive gesture that almost knocked over her wine glass. “One of Dilly’s theories. The point is that the principal, Missy Melcher, hates me and has it out for me. She heard the rumors about Philistine’s and me going home with you and she’s put me on notice, a sort of probation.” “I still don’t get why she cares what you do in your free time.” “Teachers are supposed to set an example for the kids we teach. I’m supposed to be careful about how I purport myself in public and Missy’s been waiting for an excuse to take me down a peg. She’s within her rights and I…I just feel like such an
idiot.” “So, big deal,” I said. “She puts you on notice, or probation or whatever, and you behave yourself for a while and then life goes back to normal for you, right?” “Sure. Except that the recent budget cuts mean the school needs to cut teachers. I’ve been there six years and am making pretty good money. This probation could be the excuse Missy is looking for to get rid of me.” Since I knew there was only one high school in town, I understood how big a deal this was to her. “Is there any way to get off probation?” I asked. “Anything you can do?” She put down her fork and looked a bit green. “I had one idea, but it’s absolutely insane and I totally understand if you won’t go for it.” “Lay it on me.” I would honestly do just about anything to take that sad look out of her eyes and fix this for her. She pulled in a deep breath. “I may have told Missy I wasn’t drunk, I was having a bad reaction to allergy medicine mixed with alcohol, and I wasn’t behaving badly, because you and I are dating. In fact, we’re quite serious.” Warning bells rang so loud I had to fight the urge to cover my ears. “How serious?” She looked down at her plate, blushing pink from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. “Engaged.”
I swallowed hard. “Engaged?” I’d never been in a relationship that lasted longer than two weeks, much less engaged. The very word elicited a primal fear. She looked up. “She didn’t believe me, because she would have heard it through the grapevine if we were. I’ve lived in this town all my life and my parents had lived in this town all their lives. People talk about everything I do, but I just love it here. It’s home and I was desperate, so I lied and I’m sorry, but if you could just pretend. . . If you could go see Missy with me tomorrow and tell her it’s for real…It would only have to last a couple of weeks, a month at the most.” Something she’d said had struck close to home and given me an idea. “I’ll do it,” I said. “On one condition.” She looked at me, her eyes wide and hopeful and I knew I’d do this for her even if she wouldn’t help me. “You aren’t going to believe this, but Bart Gregory won’t sell me his property unless I can prove I have ties to the town, in fact he mentioned you by name. If he believed I was engaged to you…” “Yes,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Yes, I’ll help you, too. She launched herself at me, her legs straddling my waist, and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight. “Thank you so much.”
Her hair was in my face, her scent of flowers and soap all around me, and she felt so good and warm in my arms that I realized how easily I could get lost in her, could drown in her. I grabbed her hips and put her gently off my lap and on her feet. I couldn’t afford to get lost in her. “This will work better if we’re completely platonic in private and act all lovey dovey in public. We don’t want this to get messy.” She pushed her hair behind her ears, the light in her eyes dimming just a bit. For a moment, I hated myself. My cock definitely hated me. “Okay. Right. Good idea,” she said. I didn’t ask for a take-back, I didn’t pull her back into my arms, no matter how badly I wanted to.
CHAPTER SEVEN Carrie I pushed down my embarrassment, because he was right. I’d felt things when I’d had my arms around him, things that would only make this more complicated than it needed to be. He wasn’t the right guy for me and whatever I felt for him was nothing more than irrational hormones. “Maybe you could pick me up after work, tomorrow? We could stop in and talk to Missy.” “Sure. And I’ll take you out to dinner after.” He stood and carried our plates to the kitchen. I took them from him, rinsed them, and stuck them in the dishwasher. “Tonight, we should go for a walk around the neighborhood and make sure everyone knows what’s up.” The nerves that had been rolling through me ever since I lied to my boss and arch-nemesis did not let up like I thought they would. I hated lying, I hated pretending, and the fact that Cody hadn’t laughed in my face and told me I was crazy was making me more than a little worried. He was being way too nice and understanding and I needed him not to be understanding, I needed him to be a jerk.
Even him pushing me off his lap had been sweet and considerate. A real jerk would see how far he could get with me with no consideration for my feelings. “Great.” I turned to face him and found him way too close to me, so close his breath tickled my cheek. I slid along the counter until there was a bit more space between us. “I really appreciate you being so understanding about all of this,” I said. “It was wrong of me to lie to Missy.” So, so wrong. “And you could have easily told me to get lost.” He shrugged. “You’re helping me out, too. If you hadn’t shown up on my doorstep with this crazy idea, I’d probably be looking to move somewhere with a more readily available property.” Somehow, his words didn’t make me feel better. The web of lies was spreading. I knew we’d have to make it seem real, but— All my thoughts froze when Cody’s hand cupped my cheek and he looked into my eyes. “It’ll be okay. We’ll just have to pretend for a week or two, and then we’ll have a massive break-up and everything will go back to normal.” I wanted to believe him. “I hate lying,” I said. “I know this town can feel oppressive, with everyone prying into your business, but people here, they really care about me. They worry about me and I…I just…” “I’ll be the asshole, okay,” he said. “When it’s time to break up, it’ll be my fault and no one will
ever think any less of you.” “I can’t let you do that. I’m asking you for a favor.” “You’re not letting me do anything. I’m insisting.” “Why are you being so nice to me?” “I’ve always been nice to you,” he said. “You just didn’t take it the right way.” His words should have pissed me off, but I couldn’t stop the smile that ghosted my lips. His brown eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled back and I felt the breath leave my body in a needy little sigh. Shit, what the heck was wrong with me? His eyes darkened and he leaned in a bit. I looked at his lips, his soft, full lips and my body heated, need lancing through me. It had been a really, really long time since I’d had a good kiss or a good anything, and I — Somewhere, a lawn mower started up, the sound making me jump and bringing me to my senses. I backed up and slid out from between him and the counter. I marched toward the door. “We should probably take that walk before it gets too dark.” He cleared his throat and followed me out into the evening. We took a leisurely stroll through the neighborhood, our fingers laced together, and made sure everyone saw us together. Norma Jane was out
on her front porch and we told her we were engaged. She was thrilled. Betty, of course, also asked us what was going on, but she was less than impressed. She suggested we were moving way too fast and that the whole thing would end in disaster. I tended to agree with her, but I forced a pleasant smile and suggested it was love at first sight between me and Cody. She said that, judging by the way we fought, she just might believe it was. She had a twisted view of love. Back at Cody’s driveway, I dropped his hand and headed toward my house. “Thank you for a lovely walk,” I said. “And for dinner.” He grabbed my hand before I got too far, the tingles I’d felt all over my body during our walk turned to a raging inferno. I pulled my hand out of his, just to be able to think. I didn’t appreciate being manhandled. I just didn’t. “What are you doing?” I hissed. “I think it would be more believable if I spent the evening with my fiancée,” he said in a low voice, his teeth gritted. He looked over at Betty, who was watching us, and gave her a smile. “I have papers to grade.” “Great,” he said in a louder voice. “Then I’ll come to your place.” I wanted to stamp my foot and scream, but I couldn’t. I didn’t think I’d be able to focus on anything with his large presence in my home, but I
didn’t have any choice if I wanted our fake engagement to look real. I narrowed my eyes, until I remembered this whole thing was my fault. “Fine,” I said. “Come—” He grabbed me and pulled me in tight against him, his hard, big body fitting just right against me. He pressed his lips to mine with a soft growl. I was so startled, I froze. He didn’t give up. He licked and nipped until I opened to him, and then he kissed me with such fierceness that my whole body lit like a live wire and I kissed him back like I was trying to get closer to him. I wanted to get closer to him. He pulled away and I followed him with my lips, wanting more, but he chuckled, his eyes dancing with amusement. “I think we’ve given Betty enough of a show.” He appeared to be completely calm and…Amused? How could he be amused? Had the kiss made him feel nothing? I put on a serene smile and pretended I felt nothing either. “Let’s get inside then.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we walked into my house together. *** I was a wreck. Cody had stayed at my house until after ten. I’d graded papers and he’d read one of the books I kept stacked on my bedroom floor. He’d seemed quite content just to hang out and
he’d left as soon as I told him I was ready to hit the hay. He’d suggested he stay over, but I knew I’d never get any sleep if he did. Even after he left, I couldn’t calm down. My body was alert and throbbing and wanting, still lit up from that kiss. I’d stared at the ceiling for a long time, before I’d given in and reached into my night stand drawer for my battery-operated boyfriend. It took the edge off, but I was still buzzing, still wanting. I managed to get through my work day without any problems, but as three o’clock approached, I started to get nervous about our performance for Missy. What if Cody forgot? Or was late? Or couldn’t convince Missy? The last bell of the day rang and my nerves amped up to a million and ten. I sat at my desk, my feet tapping a nervous rhythm on the linoleum, as students fled my class. I gathered my stuff, my hands shaking. “Miss Harrison.” I looked up to see Kayla, her expression sad, the usual spark and energy in her eyes, and in her usually almost kinetic movements, stilled. “You wanted to see me?” “You didn’t turn in your last assignment,” I said. “It was only worth about ten percent of your grade, so your overall grade shouldn’t drop too much, but I wanted to give you the opportunity to make it up if you’d like. Or you could take on some extra credit.” I also wanted to make sure that her missing this assignment wasn’t a sign of decreased
future involvement in class or of problems at home, but I didn’t think prying was going to get me anywhere with her. Her lower lip trembled and tears filled her eyes. “I can’t…I don’t have time and…I’m sorry, Miss Harrison. I haven’t even read the book. Is there anything else I can do for extra credit?” “Of course. I’ll…I’ll make up a list of options for you. Kayla, if there’s anything you want to talk about—” “I have to go.” She turned and fled before I could ask her anything else. I dropped my head over my interlaced fingers on my desk, fighting my own tears. I was worried about Kayla, but it was frustration as much as worry that upset me. I was a teacher, it was my job to be able to get through to my students and, if I couldn’t do that…What the hell was I doing? “It’ll be okay.” Large masculine hands dropped over mine. “We’ve got this.” I looked up to see Cody, his big, brown eyes warm and open, his smile reassuring. He’d shaved and was dressed in jeans and a red button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show off his muscled fore-arms. He thought I was worried about our meeting with Missy, which I had been just moments before, but now…I straightened my shoulders and focused on Cody. If I was going to be of any help to Kayla, I had to keep my job.
“You dressed up,” I said, so grateful that he was taking this seriously. “I want to make a good impression. Carrie Harrison wouldn’t be engaged to a slob.” My heart warmed, but I couldn’t forget my worry about Kayla. I forced a smile onto my face and stood. He stepped back, dropping my hands and reached into his pocket. “I got you something, to make this more realistic. It’s not much, but it’s the best I could do on short notice.” He slid a small black box across my desk and my heart raced. I’d absolutely been one of those little girls who’d imagined her wedding and her engagement ring and how her true love would propose. In all my pretend games and imaginings, it had never gone anything like this. My hands shook as I picked up the box and flipped the lid. A ring with a small diamond in the center and sapphires on either side sat against black velvet. Tears filled my eyes, because I’d wanted this so much and now here it was, for pretend and maybe the best I’d ever have. It was depressing and sweet at the same time. “It’s lovely,” I said. “You didn’t have to.” “I did,” he said, his voice a bit unsteady. “It’s not real. I can’t afford real right now, but it should do the trick.” I slid the ring on my left hand, my heart breaking a bit for the dream I’d once had for this
moment in my life. It was only pretend, I reminded myself, and didn’t mean I wouldn’t have the real thing someday. I swallowed, swiped at the tears under my eyes, and looked up at Cody. “It’s perfect.” His smiled dropped and concern filled his eyes. He walked around my desk and pulled me into a warm hug. “If it’s perfect,” he said, his voice gruff. “Why are you crying?” His arms around me surprised me almost as much as the real concern in his voice. “It’s stupid. I just never imagined my first engagement ring would be part of a plan to lie to everyone I know.” “I’m sorry. But I promise you this won’t be the last engagement ring anyone ever gives you. The next one will be for real.” He sounded truly sorry and I realized what an ungrateful, sentimental idiot I was being. I pushed out of his arms and wiped my eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for. The ring is perfect. Are you ready to meet my boss?” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Lead the way.” I took his hand in mine and led him through the halls to the main office. “How’d you find my classroom, anyway?” “I asked at the front desk when I checked in at the office.” It was then I noticed his visitor’s pass stuck to the left side of his shirt.
“You’re really going above and beyond for this,” I said. “Thank you.” He shook his head. “I think you’ve been out with too many douche bags, Carrie. I’m doing the bare minimum of what you deserve.” I had no idea what to say to that, so I just shook my head and kept walking. Caroline, the school secretary, smiled when we walked in. She’d been working at the school since I was a student there. “Hi, Caroline,” I said. “This is my fiancé Cody Reynolds.” Caroline clapped her hands and beamed. “I heard you were engaged, Carrie. I’m so happy for you.” My gut sank at the horrible lie I was telling, but Cody squeezed my hand before he dropped it to shake Caroline’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, all charm and good grace. Caroline narrowed her eyes at Cody. “You treat our girl right, you understand.” Cody’s smile slipped a bit, but he took my hand again. “I’ll do my best. She’s deserves it.” “She certainly does,” Caroline said. “Carrie Harrison is an absolute angel. Do you know—” “Caroline, is Missy in?” I asked, before she could launch into a monologue about my kindness. She was a wonderful, kind woman, but she tended to go on and on once she started. Caroline frowned and shook her head, before
returning her attention to Cody. “She doesn’t like anyone to speak well of her, but you are her fiancé and you should know that she gives her heart and soul to this school and all the students here. She is good people. When my husband of forty years passed away, Carrie brought me casseroles for three weeks and helped me clean up my house after I had all those people traipsing through for the memorial service. She is a saint.” My cheeks heated and I was squeezing Cody’s hand so hard, I was surprised he hadn’t shaken me off. “She is a good person,” Cody said. “I was drawn in by her outer beauty, but it was her inner beauty and her good heart I fell in love with.” My good heart was in danger of cracking with all this praise, real and imaginary. “Thank you, Caroline, but we have dinner reservations,” I lied. I mean really, what’s one more lie at this point? “Is Missy available?” “Of course, dear,” Caroline said. “Go right in.” Missy’s door was open and I walked in, pulling Cody along with me. “Hello, Principal Melcher,” I said as cheerfully as I could manage. Missy looked up, her make-up and perfect hair unable to quite hide her sour expression. Her eyes widened when they settled on Cody and her expression changed to a sweet smile, though her lips pursed when her eyes dropped to our joined
hands. “Miss Harrison,” Missy said in a pinched voice. “I just wanted to introduce you to my fiancé, Cody Reynolds,” I said. “He’ll probably be stopping by from time to time, and I thought it would help if you’d met him.” Missy frowned, her brow creased in confusion. She stood and extended a hand to Cody. “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Reynolds. Are you from around here?” Cody gave her a charming smile. “No, ma’am. I’m from South Carolina originally. I’m in town looking for property to establish my winery. I just got lucky enough to be neighbors with Carrie.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. “I saw her and I knew I’d be an idiot not to grab her and hold on tight.” I elbowed him in the side, because he was seriously sounding more like an aggressive stalker than a smitten fiancé. He squeezed my neck a bit harder than necessary. Missy smiled, but her expression suggested she’d tasted something nasty. “Yes, well, there’s no accounting for taste.” She looked at me. “I hope you don’t think parading him in here will end your probation?” Cody’s whole body tensed. “I’m sure Carrie explained that she had a bad reaction at Philistine’s
the other night from a combination of allergy medicine and alcohol.” Missy glared at him. “I’m aware that she fed me a story to excuse her bad behavior,” Missy said. “It doesn’t change the fact that she was behaving, in public, in a way that is improper for anyone who cares about the education of young children and the influence her actions may have on them.” Cody’s hand over my left shoulder tightened into a fist and I had a bad, bad feeling that this would all spiral downhill. “I wasn’t trying to make excuses—” “Miss Harrison,” Cody said, “was out for a night with friends. It wasn’t a school function or in any way associated with her job. I’ll have to consult with my lawyers, but I’m pretty sure your authority doesn’t extend to what Miss Harrison does in her free time.” Missy paled a bit at the word lawyers, but she’d never been one to back down easily. “This is a small town, Mr. Reynolds, and public opinion matters. I’ve had calls from several parents about Miss Harrison’s behavior and I can’t ignore those complaints.” My stomach dropped and I was pretty sure I was going to be sick. “You’ve had complaints?” My voice was a bare whisper of sound. Missy’s triumphant smile kicked my fear and disappointment in myself right into anger and
annoyance. She was on a power trip and looking for revenge and I was sick of it. I loved my job and I loved working for the public school, but maybe it was time to brush off my resume and apply at the only other high school in town, a snooty private school that paid a lot better and wasn’t headed up by my arch-nemesis. “Yes,” Missy said. “Numerous complaints. I’m sorry Miss Harrison, but your probation stands.” “Thank you for your time Principal Melcher,” I said. I squeezed Cody’s side hard. Maybe a little too hard, since he jumped in place. I pushed him toward the door, he dropped his arm from around my shoulders, and we left. He took my hand again as soon as we were out the door and I didn’t drop it. My plan might not have worked, but now that I’d lied to my principal, I had to keep up the ruse. “What did you pinch me for?” “I just didn’t want you to get all belligerent and say something to make her mad,” I said. He stopped next to my car and faced me. “Believe it or not,” he said. “I do understand the need for tact and diplomacy, but that woman is clearly unreasonable and borderline insane.” “Maybe. But she’s not entirely wrong. This town is small enough that what I do can get back to my students. I didn’t set a good example the other night.”
He frowned down at me. “You went out with your friends and you had a good time. So, you had a bit too much to drink. It’s not like it happens all the time.” I was so sick of this argument. “It doesn’t matter. She’s the boss and what she says goes. Thank you for pretending, but since it didn’t make any difference, we can probably break up, or at least stop spending so much time together.” He rolled his eyes. “I still need you to help me close the deal on the Gregory place, so we at least need to pretend until that goes through. I’m taking you out on a date.” “Fine.” The least I owed him was to help him get his property from Bart. “I’ll meet you back at my house?” “I’ll pick you up at six,” he said with a wink. “Okay.” I was suddenly nervous. “Um, how fancy will this date be? What should I wear?” “I was going to leave that up to you,” he said. “We need to be seen, so what’s the most happening place in town?” I smiled, that was one question that had an easy answer. “Fitzroy’s Cajun Cuisine. Dress casual.” “Cajun? I thought this was Virginia, not New Orleans.” I smiled. “You think we don’t have any class or culture here?” In all reality, there wasn’t much
Cajun food at Fitzroy’s, but it was good southern fare and very popular with the locals. The owner was a good-ol’ boy who’d married a woman from New Orleans, and they’d combined their cooking styles and come up with a tasty and popular menu. His smile made my belly flip. “No offense intended,” he said. “I’ll see you in a bit.” I watched him walk to his truck and my eyes fell to his butt without my direction or intention. I shook my head and got in my car. I didn’t like him. I was just attracted to him, and this was all temporary. I put my hands on the steering wheel and the ring he’d given me flashed in the sunlight. It was gorgeous, yet simple and understated, exactly the sort of thing I’d choose for myself. If this were real. If I was really about to start my life with the man I loved. A lump formed in my throat and I swallowed it down. Maybe it was time to stop looking for a husband and dreaming of a family. Maybe it was time to accept what I had in the moment and make the best of it. I started my car and backed out of my parking spot. *** Cody knocked on my door at six on the dot. I’d chosen to wear a lilac sweater set and jeans. I didn’t have a lot of casual clothes in my wardrobe, other than old t-shirts and shorts I used for
gardening, and I didn’t want to over-dress for dinner and look like I was trying too hard. I’d tried on fifteen different outfits before I’d decided what I was wearing. I’d swiped on a bit of make-up and put my hair up in a high ponytail. I was almost certain Dilly would hustle me back to my room if she saw me, but she wasn’t there and I wasn’t trying to impress Cody. I wasn’t. I was trying to put on a good show for the people who knew me best, the gossips of Catalpa Creek. I opened the door to find Harrison on my doorstep. I swung my left hand, the hand with the engagement ring on it, behind my back. Harrison grinned and grabbed my left arm and pulled my hand into the light. He pushed his way into the house, dragging my arm with him, and closed the door. “You know, as your only nephew and your only blood family member in town, I would have thought you’d have told me you were dating someone, much less that you’d gotten engaged.” My doorbell rang and I tore my hand from Harrison’s grasp. “It’s not what you think.” I opened the door and was struck momentarily dumb and blind by Cody on my front porch in black jeans, boots, and a maroon button-down that molded to his sculpted chest. He hadn’t shaved, so there was a bit of scruff on his face and his eyes lit as they traveled over my body. “You look gorgeous,” he said, when he got back to my face.
“Right,” I said. This man was either delusional or a bucket of lies. “Can you give me—” But he grabbed my waist and pulled me in for a kiss that made me forget what I’d been about to say, where I was, or who was in my living room. Cody took a step back and smiled at me. “What the hell was that for?” I asked. He bent and nuzzled my neck. “Because I wanted to. And because Betty is on her front porch.” “Right.” My voice came out as more of a gasp, but that was because his big, warm, masculine hands were squeezing a bit too tight on my waist. A throat cleared behind me and all my skewed circuits jumped back on line. I stepped away from Cody, into the house, and he followed me, shutting the door behind us. I faced my nephew, my cheeks heating and my stomach sinking. “What were you saying about this not being what it looks like?” Harrison asked. Cody put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to his side. It felt…Oddly comforting. I shrugged his arm off and put some distance between us. “How did you even hear about the engagement?” Harrison rolled his eyes. “You know Grandma and Grandpa talk to Norma Jane at least once a week. How could I not have heard? They’re really upset you didn’t tell them, by the way.” Norma
Jane had known my parents since they’d been in elementary school together. My moving into Norma Jane’s neighborhood had brought them closer than ever before because my parents liked the idea of her spying on me and because Norma Jane loved to feel useful. Of course, my parents knew and I…It’s not like I hadn’t known that would happen, but I’d been living pretty comfortably in denial. “Why don’t you look more upset?” I asked. Harrison smiled over my shoulder at Cody. “Because he seems like a good guy to me. And you never do anything spontaneous or just for yourself. I’m happy for you.” I just stared. I didn’t even know where to start with him. “You’re happy for me? You’re happy that I’m engaged to a man I’ve known for less than two months and dated for…” I stopped because I wasn’t dating Cody at all. “And what do you mean he’s a good guy? What do you even know about him?” He smirked. “I know that he punched me for making you cry. I know he cares about you and I know you, Aunt Carrie. You wouldn’t commit yourself to someone without knowing exactly what you’re getting into. You’re the most responsible, careful person I know.” I looked back at Cody. “You punched my nephew?” Cody looked not the least bit apologetic. “He
made you cry.” “Don’t get pissed at him,” Harrison said. “It was the wakeup call I needed.” “You couldn’t have just given him a talking to?” I asked Cody. “Says the woman who hit me in the face with a trowel.” I couldn’t really argue with him there. I turned to face my nephew. I wanted to allow him to keep thinking I was a paragon of responsibility, but that would be a lie and I’d never lied to him before, not even about the tough stuff. “I’m not really engaged to Cody,” I said. “The truth is I—” “She agreed to pretend to be my fiancée to help me out,” Cody said. “I’m interested in a piece of property, but the man who owns it won’t sell it to me without proof of my commitment to the town.” “Why would you agree to do that?” he asked me, while he glared at Cody. “And why is he kissing you if this is just pretend?” “Because he’s helping me, too,” I said, narrowing my eyes at Cody. “I messed up, Harrison. I went out to Philistine’s with Lance, Dilly, and Cody and I had too much to drink. Cody took me back to his house to take care of me and… You know how this town is for gossip. Word got back to my boss and it just made sense to pretend that Cody was my fiancé.” Harrison didn’t look any happier, his frown
deepening. “So, why the kissing on the porch?” “Keeping up appearances,” Cody said. “Betty was watching.” “Can I talk to you alone for a minute, man?” Harrison growled in Cody’s direction. “Sure,” Cody said. I huffed and barely resisted stomping my foot. “No. I’m an adult and I don’t need you two sneaking off to talk about me behind my back.” “We weren’t being sneaky,” Cody said. “Whatever you have to say,” I said through gritted teeth. “Say it to me.” “Fine,” Harrison said. “I’ve never known you to do anything dumb, Aunt Carrie, but this is idiotic. Cody clearly has a very real thing for you and one of you, probably him, is going to get hurt. Not to mention that if anyone other than me finds out what you two are up to you’re going to have a lot more problems than an arch nemesis and a grumpy landowner.” “Arch nemesis?” Cody asked. I waved him off. “Not to mention,” Harrison said, “you taught me to always be honest, Aunt Carrie, because when you lie…“ He gestured to me to finish the adage. “You’re only lying to yourself,” I sighed. “You’re probably right, but it’s too late now. We’re in this and we’re going to see it through. It’s only going to be a couple weeks and then we’ll break up
and everything will go back to normal.” “Uh-huh,” Harrison said. “I really hope you know what you’re doing.” He smacked Cody’s shoulder in a less than friendly way. “Don’t forget this is pretend. If you touch my aunt, I will end you. If you hurt my aunt I will bury you alive.” “I thought I was the one likely to get hurt,” Cody said. I rolled my eyes at both of them. “No one is going to get hurt. Cody and I are entirely incompatible and he drives me crazy in the worst kind of way. And for the record, I am fully capable of taking care of myself in the event that Cody tried to touch me in a way I don’t want.” “I have the scar to prove it.” Cody pointed to the tiny scab on his forehead and Harrison leaned in close to see it. “You really threw a towel at him?” Harrison asked. “It slipped out of my hand.” Okay, that was a lie, but…Damn it. “Fine, it didn’t slip. I threw it, but I was trying to throw it away from him, not at him.” Harrison finally smiled. “She has the worst aim. You should have seen her trying to throw the ball around with me when I was a kid.” “Okay. Time to go Harrison. I’m hungry and Cody is taking me to dinner.” “What do you want me to tell Grandma and
Grandpa?” “I’ll call them tomorrow. I’ll think of something.” I couldn’t tell them the truth. They were worse gossips than Norma Jane and Betty and, even though they lived in Florida, they knew everyone in this blasted town and talked to them all on a regular basis. “I just want to reiterate that I think this is a bad idea,” Harrison said. “But I’ll be here for you when it all goes to hell.” “Great.” I didn’t like that he was seeming like the more responsible one. “I’ll call you after I talk to Mom and Dad and let you know the official story.” He hugged me, punched Cody’s shoulder harder than necessary, and left. After the door shut behind him, I turned to Cody. “In the future, when Harrison’s here, stay out of our conversation.” “I was just trying to help.” Cody frowned, but amusement sparked in his eyes and I remembered what he’d said about me being cute when I was riled. That only made me angrier. “Next time, don’t help. I’ve managed just fine for twenty-eight years without your help and I sure as hell don’t need it now.” “Except for the part where I pretend to be your fiancé.” I glared at him, glad I didn’t have anything in my hand, because I’d definitely be throwing it at
him. “Let’s just go to dinner.” I tried to move past him, but he grabbed my elbow to stop me. I pulled my arm free and faced him. “What?” He frowned, all amusement wiped from his face. “For what’s it worth, Harrison wasn’t wrong. I don’t like to see you hurt or upset. I’m attracted to you and I’m pretty sure you’re attracted to me, but I think he’s right and it would be a terrible idea to act on it. I just want to make sure we both remember what this is really all about and we end this if it gets too be too much for either of us. Even if I lose the deal on the property.” His words touched me, as did the concern in his eyes, but I didn’t want to soften toward him. I didn’t want to like him even a little bit. It was much safer to hate him. “Like he said, I wouldn’t be the one getting hurt. I could handle a physical relationship with you without getting attached. Despite what you may think, you aren’t impossible to resist.” He just stared at me and I didn’t blame him, even I was confused about what I’d just said. “You’re saying you do want to get physical with me?” He stepped into my personal space and ran his fingers lightly up and down my arms. “Not at all.” His touch was making me want to lean into him, to wrap my arms around him and pull him in close, but I didn’t back up. Leaning in or
backing up would suggest I was affected by his touch and I absolutely wasn’t. “I’m just saying I could handle it.” “I’m saying that this attraction between us is beyond amazing. I feel it every time I look at you. If I fucked you, it would blow your mind and neither of us would ever be quite the same again.” His crass words should have offended me, but the husky tone he used to speak them and his bedroom eyes made them anything but offensive. I forced a laugh, my voice wavering. “You certainly have a healthy ego. I’m starving. Can we just get to dinner?” “Of course we can.” He led the way out of my house and I followed, locking up behind us.
CHAPTER EIGHT Cody “Hello, Mr. Gregory,” I said. “How are you today, sir?” He didn’t smile at me, he just waved me to the rocking chair next to him. He looked worn out and grim, on the front porch of his home, which also looked worn and grim. “I expect you’re here to tell me all about your shiny new fiancée.” I sat in the rocking chair, feeling not unlike a bear about to walk into a trap. “I did want to tell you that I’m engaged to Carrie Harrison. I thought it might be the kind of investment in the town that would convince you to sell me your property.” Bart grunted. “Carrie Harrison? Lovely girl. I believe I’ve spoken to her parents a time or two. Such a tragedy when that beautiful daughter of theirs was killed. I suppose you never get over something like that. I suppose Carrie has never gotten over it.” Carrie hadn’t mentioned her sister to me and I didn’t know the story beyond what Norma Jane had told me. I didn’t need to know the story. I just needed to pretend I was engaged. “I suppose not,” I
said. I wanted to push the question of the sale, but I suspected that would be a mistake. “Folks like to talk in this town,” Bart said. “And I don’t put much stock in what they have to say. I’m going to ask you if it’s true you took Carrie Harrison out to a local den of intoxication and acted the fool with her.” What the hell was wrong with people in this town? “She was out having a good time. She had a bad reaction to some medication she was taking, but I don’t think it’s fair to say she made a fool out of herself.” “We’ll agree to disagree then, I suppose.” He rocked in silence for several long moments, the creak of his chair and the birds chirping the only sound, his hands resting on his massive belly. I was so tired, I felt spaced out and way out of my league. The rock of his chair and my own wasn’t helping me to be any more alert. “About the property,” I said. “Ah, yes. About the property. I’m a mite suspicious, you understand, of your sudden engagement. Seems a little too convenient if you take my meaning. Especially since, according to Norma Jane, you and Carrie Harrison haven’t been dating more’n a week.” “I can absolutely understand your point of view, but I can assure you the engagement is real. I love Carrie.” The words felt funny in my mouth,
and speaking them aloud, knowing they were a lie, made me feel like I was betraying her in some way. Betraying our fragile friendship. “It’s one of those crazy coincidences that happen sometimes. No one can predict when they’ll fall in love. Love is a many splendored thing.” What the fuck was I actually saying? I shut my mouth and rocked, sure that my rambling, idiotic speech had made me more instead of less suspicious. Bart nodded. “That it is. I was married for more’n forty years and I loved my wife every moment of those years. I wanted to kill her sometimes, but I never stopped loving her. If that’s what you’ve found, I’m mighty happy for you, boy, but I have to say I’m pretty damn near sure you’re lying.” His chair came to an abrupt halt and he stared at me. For an elderly and slow-moving man, he had a terrifying stare and I was absolutely certain he could see inside my skull and tell that I was lying to him. I’d dealt with a lot of savvy men, brokered a lot of business deals, but I’d never felt more out of my element than I did in that moment. I could back out and admit the truth, but that would leave me without my dream property and leave Carrie looking like a liar. “I don’t fault you for doubting me. But I can assure you that Carrie and I truly are in love. And we are getting married. I have no intention of leaving this town, even if I don’t get
the property.” Just like that, my mouth had dug my own grave. I’d gotten myself in so deep, I could no longer see sunlight, and I had no choice but to keep going. “What can I do to prove it to you?” Bart released me from his stare and went back to rocking. “How about we start with you two kids coming to dinner over here tomorrow night? Say around six?” “And after that?” “Just be here at six, boy, and count your blessings I haven’t told you to go back to that fancy family you came from and stay the hell away from me and my property.” “Thank you, sir.” I was entirely at his mercy and I hated it, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I stood and crossed the porch to the stairs. I stopped before I started down them and faced him. “For what it’s worth, my fancy family isn’t involved in the purchase of this property or the winery I plan to establish. I haven’t accepted any of their money.” Bart scowled. “You’re a whole lot dumber than I thought you were. You got family that wants to help, you let them help. I can’t imagine your momma is too happy with you.” My mother wasn’t particularly happy with me, but I suspected that had more to do with me destroying her dream and driving her husband to an early grave than with me not accepting her
financial support. “I’ll see you tomorrow at six.” I went back to my empty house and I paced, trying to figure out how to convince Bart that Carrie and I were serious. We were going to have to up our game and be more convincing than we’d been yet. I was tired of waiting to get started on my winery, tired of sitting around spinning my wheels. At loose ends, I picked up my phone and called my mother. “Hello, dear,” she said. “I must say I’m shocked to hear from you.” Her tone was my first warning that she was less than happy with me. “Um, why?” “Well, darling, first of all you only call about every two months since your father died and second, because I understand you’ve got some game you’re playing up there in Virginia that I would imagine you don’t want me to know about.” I could just see my mother on the other end of the phone, in jeans and a button-down shirt, her hair a bit loose and frazzled. Since my dad died, my mom had been working in one of the family hotels at the concierge desk. It wasn’t her dream place, but she told me she liked to keep busy and she’d always loved people and the hospitality business. She’d met my father when she was working as a front desk clerk at the hotel where he worked as a maintenance man. “What did Noah tell you?” “Noah didn’t tell my anything, Cody Reynolds. I got a call from a Mr. Gregory who says you’re
pretending to be engaged to convince him to sell his property to you. What are you thinking? Didn’t you cause enough trouble the last time you mixed business and pleasure?” I flinched, my mother’s harsh tone and words stinging. I could lie to a lot of people, but I’d never lied to my mother and I wouldn’t start now. I just didn’t need to tell her everything. “Carrie is my neighbor. She’s an English teacher at the high school and she can’t stand me. Probably with good reason. I’m pretending to be engaged to her to help her as much as to help me.” My mother snorted. “I love you, Cody, but I have never known you to do anything that didn’t primarily benefit you.” That one didn’t just sting, it dug deep and ripped out a piece of my flesh. The fact that she was right only made it that much more painful. “The truth is, she came to me for help. She was really upset and scared that she was going to lose her job. I could help her, so I did.” “Uh-huh. That story would sound so much more altruistic if I didn’t know how much this pretend relationship was helping you, not to mention that Mr. Gregory said she is a very attractive woman.” “She’s gorgeous.” I was more than a little annoyed with Bart Gregory for reporting on me to my mother like I was a wayward teenager. I didn’t
even want to think about how he’d gotten her number. “But she really does hate me. She’s smart and sensible and knows better than to trust or like me. I’m not saying I’m getting nothing out of the deal, but if you tell Mr. Gregory the truth, her reputation will be ruined and she’ll probably lose her job. A job she loves and is really good at.” My mother was silent so long, I checked my phone to be sure the connection hadn’t been dropped. “I want to meet her. My price for not telling Mr. Gregory the truth is that you bring her home and let us all meet her.” “Mom, she’s not my real fiancée, she’s not even my girlfriend. There’s no reason for you to meet her.” “Except that I want to. I’ve named my price. Take it or leave it.” “I’ll see if she can get away next weekend.” “Great. I’ll see you Friday night.” *** I parked for the second time that day in front of Bart Gregory’s house and gave Carrie a reassuring smile. “I really hate lying to people,” she said. “I don’t know Mr. Gregory very well, but he pretty much grew up with my parents.” That stopped me, because it differed so greatly from what Bart had told me about his relationship
with Carrie’s parents. I could think of no good reason he would lie about it, so I chalked it up to his age and poor memory. “If there were any good way out of this without lying,” I said. “I’d be happy to help you.” She threw her hands up, nearly smacking me in the face. The more upset she was, it seemed, the wilder her hand gestures became. I wondered if her hands would go wild during sex, where they would wander. I cleared my throat and reminded myself to focus. “I know, I know. If we back out now, Missy Melcher will know I lied to her and I’ll become an even bigger joke in this town than I already am.” That shocked me. Carrie was the most puttogether, responsible, classy person I’d ever met. Not to mention sexy as hell with lips I couldn’t stop staring at. “Who says you’re a joke?” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get this over with.” I got out and jogged around the front of the car to open her door. It was raining pretty good, so I opened my umbrella and held it over her as I helped her out. She was wearing polka-dotted rain boots over gray slacks and a teal sweater set. Her make-up was light and her hair was down, her brown hair getting curlier every moment we spent outside. She laced her fingers through mine and I smiled at her, but she didn’t smile back. She looked a bit sick and pale, and I wasn’t at all sure she’d be
able to go through with this. “Do you want me to tell him you’re not feeling well?” “No.” She swallowed. “No. I can do this.” I felt like the worst kind of asshole, even though this had been her idea. Originally. We stepped up onto the porch and I shook out the umbrella before closing it. A big, shiny blue truck sped up to the house and slammed to a stop. Carrie got impossibly paler. “I thought it was just going to be Bart.” “So did I.” The doors of the truck swung open and two men in jeans, t-shirts, and boots jumped out. “Hey, Carrie Berry,” one of the guys said, right before he climbed the porch steps and wrapped his arms around her in a full-body hug. Anger flashed through me and I resisted the overwhelming urge to pull him off her. The second guy leapt up the steps and stuck his hand out to me. “Hey, there. I’m Dwight. You must be the city boy wanting to buy my granddaddy’s land.” I took his hand and shook it, tensing at the sound of laughter from Carrie. She was smiling and no longer the least bit pale. I squeezed Dwight’s hand a bit harder than I meant to, but he just looked over at Carrie and the other man and smiled. “That there is my brother, George,” he said. “He and Carrie dated for a while in high school. Guess
they’re happy to see each other again.” “Good for them.” Dwight laughed. “My sentiments exactly, man. Let’s get on inside before Granddad comes looking for us. He don’t like to be gotten up from his chair.” Dwight pulled the door open, hollering a greeting to his grandfather, but I looked back at Carrie. She was smiling at George and looking happier than I’d seen her. Maybe ever. I should have followed Dwight inside, but I hated the idea of leaving Carrie out on the porch with an exboyfriend who made her happier in a moment than I’d managed in a hundred moments. “Carrie,” I said, my voice hard and crisp. “Ready to meet Mr. Gregory?” She looked over at me, the smile dropping from her lips. “Of course. George, this is my fiancé, Cody Reynolds.” George laughed. “Come on, Carrie. Grandad told me you two are faking the engagement to convince him to sell Cody the land. I don’t care what you tell the old man, this land needs to be sold, but don’t lie to me, sugar.” Carrie bit her bottom lip and hesitated, and I knew it was all over. We’d been out-played by Bart Gregory. Carrie straightened her spine and stared hard at the other man. “Now, George, you know I’m incapable of lying or doing anything unbefitting a lady, isn’t that why you broke up with
me?” George’s mouth set in a firm line and he shook his head. “You and I have a very different memory of our break-up and the reasons for it, Carrie Harrison. I’ll see you both inside.” He stalked into the house and slammed the door behind him. “What was that about?” Carrie stared after George. “Just a stupid high school prank. He wanted me to cover for him and I wouldn’t do it, so he broke up with me.” “He seems to have a different take on the break-up.” It wasn’t my business and I didn’t need to hear the story to be able to pretend I was engaged to her, but I wanted to know. She bit her lower lip. “He was leaving town to go to college around the same time and he wanted me to spend the summer with him on a pre-college road trip. I refused. Harrison’s situation was getting worse and I was saving every penny I earned to be able to take care of him after I’d finished college. My parents were also having a hard time accepting the idea of me going off to college, and I wouldn’t leave them sooner than I had to. George and I might have managed to weather that disagreement, but he got caught stealing a lawn mower. He and his friends used to race them, you know, and he stole Mitch Lowry’s mower because the guy had won five of the last six races and George wanted a look at his engine. It was innocent, a prank really,
but Mitch Lowry never did have much of a sense of humor. George wanted me to lie and say he’d been with me the night the mower had gone missing, but I’d told him it was a dumb idea and I…I think I was looking for an excuse for a fight, maybe, I don’t know, but I refused to lie for him. He didn’t even get in any real trouble, but he felt I’d betrayed him and he broke up with me.” “Seems like something the two of you could work out if you really wanted to.” “Well, I guess we just didn’t want to bad enough. Let’s head in.” I fought the urge to grab her and kiss her, remind her of the chemistry we had, and followed her inside. I smelled good food before we even stepped into the kitchen and my stomach rumbled. Mary Ellen waved to us both from her spot at the stove where she was mashing something up. Her smile was tight, but I guessed it had something to do with the family gathering and nothing to do with me and Carrie. “There you two are,” Bart said. He didn’t bother to get up from his chair, already pulled up to the table, but waved us over. “Carrie Harrison.” He took her free hand in his own. “It’s good to see you, sweetheart. You never come around anymore since you and George broke up.” I swung my head to look at Carrie, but she was smiling at Bart. “I didn’t expect you to remember
me,” she said. “I was only over here once or twice.” “I remember you. You were the only girl my grandsons ever brought around who I thought was worth the time they gave her.” Carrie’s cheeks pinked. “That’s so sweet of you to say.” Bart gestured to the table. “Have a seat and tell me how you two met.” “Oh,” Carrie said. “I’m sure Mary Ellen needs some help in the kitchen.” I squeezed her hand to let her know she wasn’t getting out of this. “I’m just fine, sugar,” Mary Ellen said. “You sit and talk to Uncle Bart.” Carrie sat and I sat next to her, George and Dwight sat across from us. We’d anticipated this question back before we’d met with Missy Melcher and had decided to stick as close to the truth as possible rather than come up with a play-by-play retelling of our faux love story. Carrie pulled her hand from my grasp and laced her fingers together on the table top. “The truth is I despised Cody from the first moment I met him.” When I’d told her to stick as close to the truth as possible, I hadn’t anticipated this truth. My shock must have shown on my face, because Bart laughed. “He doesn’t look at all like your type,” George
said. “Not at all the kind of guy I thought you’d end up with.” “Believe me,” Carrie said. “He’s not at all who I thought I’d end up with either. He moved in next door and didn’t seem to do much but wash his truck and lay around. He looks more like he should be in an MMA cage or a WWF ring than dating a school teacher.” Everyone had another good laugh at my expense and I decided enough was enough. “I liked Carrie the first time I saw her,” I said. “I didn’t think she’d ever give me the time of day, but she was like a breath of fresh air after you’ve been sucking in the smell of your own sweat and disappointment for too long. She looks delicate and sweet, but she’s tough and willing to fight for everyone she loves.” Carrie blushed and gave me a shy smile and I couldn’t help but smile back, feeling like I’d won one of those MMA competitions she’d imagined me in. “We all know Carrie’s a wonderful woman,” George said. “But the last thing she needs is someone else to take care of. She needs a good man who will take care of her.” Judging by the way George was glaring at me, I was pretty sure he thought he was that good man who should take care of Carrie. Maybe he was… Okay, he probably was, but not until after I had my hands on his granddaddy’s land. “You’re absolutely
right,” I said. “And I intend to spend every day of the rest of our lives together making sure she’s taken care of.” “Pretty words,” Bart said. “But I’m a details man, myself. Why don’t you tell me just exactly how you intend to take care of our Carrie.” Now it was our Carrie? I felt like I was on the uphill side of a losing battle. “Time to eat,” Mary Ellen said. She put a pot of beef stew on the table and then brought over a basket of steaming hot muffins. “What can I get everyone to drink?” We requested our drinks and filled our plates and Mary Ellen sat to join us once everyone had what they needed. “Now,” she said. “I only got bits and pieces of this story while I was cooking. What did I miss about how you two met?” The look in her eyes when they landed on me was one of amusement with a healthy dose of disbelief. “I hated him,” Carrie said. “And he liked me, but it was clear we were completely incompatible. He asked me out anyway and I have to say, I’ve never had so much fun on a date in my life. He made me laugh and I love a man who can make me laugh.” “We used to laugh all the time,” George said, effectively shattering any warm fuzzies I’d felt from Carrie’s assessment of our date. We had laughed a lot. We’d talked about our favorite books
and movies and had more than a few in common. We told stories from our childhoods and talked about where in the world we’d most like to go. It was one of the better dates I’d been on and I wondered if she was telling the truth about how much fun she’d had. “We did,” Carrie said. She was smiling at George like she’d forgotten all about her fiancé next to her. “You always could make me laugh harder than anyone else.” “So hard you nearly peed your pants that time on the Ferris wheel at the carnival.” Carrie barked out a shout of laughter. “The kids below us would have had an unpleasant surprise.” Everyone laughed and I joined in, though I absolutely didn’t like this walk down memory lane. “I would cook for her every night,” I said, trying to get the conversation back on the right track. “What are you going on about, boy?” Bart asked, narrowing his eyes at me like he was angry. I wondered if I’d ever had any shot at his land or if this whole dinner had been his way of getting Carrie and his grandson back in the same room to remember how much they’d cared for each other. “You asked me for details,” I said. “I’d cook dinner for Carrie every night, and I’d rub her feet after a long day. I’d hold her when she cried
because she was worried about one of her students, and I’d take her out on a date at least once a week. I’d always tell her she looked beautiful, and I’d make sure she never forgot that I’m in her corner, that I’m her partner, and will be there for any problem she might have.” I’d been talking to Bart, but on the last words, I turned to Carrie to find her looking at me with a tender expression on her face and tears in her eyes. Whatever I’d just said had made her weepy in that way women think is wonderful. I placed a kiss to her forehead and hoped that someday she found a man to do all those things for her, because she deserved it. That and so much more. Mary Ellen cleared her throat. “Sorry to interrupt,” she said. “But sweet nothings and romance ruin my appetite. Anyone see the game last night?” Everyone started talking sports and then moved on to the unseasonably warm weather. Mary Ellen told a funny story about trying to find a “mountain” home for a young couple from Northern Virginia, and Bart told us about the weird creatures he’d seen in the woods not too far from his house. The meal passed quickly. When we’d finished eating, Bart asked everyone to give him a few moments alone with me. The others helped clear the table and headed to the other side of the large kitchen to wash the
dishes and chat while they cleaned up. I watched Carrie cross the room, standing way too close to George in my opinion, and turned my attention to Bart. “Boy,” he said. “I can see you’re fond of our Carrie, but I’m not sure I believe this relationship of yours is real.” He held up a hand when I opened my mouth to argue. “Mind you, I’m not saying the two of you are lying, I’m just saying that I don’t see any kind of hope for this relationship to stand the test of time.” “I know we’re different, but I think it’s our differences that make us such a good couple. I’m strong where she’s weak and she’s strong where I’m weak.” I was just making stuff up at this point, as far as I could tell, Carrie didn’t have any weaknesses. “I have no intention of giving her up.” “Uh-huh. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t sell you the land until you two were officially married in a church, but my boys are pressuring me to get rid of this place and I understand weddings take time to plan. What I’m proposing is that you two stay together for a month, maybe move in together to give this marriage thing a real trial run, and I’ll sell you the property at that point.” My stomach dropped. “A month? By the end of the month, it’ll be too late to put in the grapes and I’ll be way behind—” He waved a hand. “Don’t try to hoodwink me,
kid. I may not be a farmer, but even I know it’s already too late to get your grapes in. Even if you started today, you’d never have the land ready in time.” He shrugged. “If you don’t want to wait, buy someone else’s land. My offer is one month of happiness and love with Carrie, prove to me you’re in this for the long haul, and I’ll sell you the land.” Shit, there was no way Carrie was going to agree to a whole month of this lying and deceit, but I didn’t have any other choice. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll be back in a month.” Bart frowned. “I’ll expect to see you more frequently than that. Stop in once a week and give me progress updates.” “Sure.” I hated this. I hated being under his thumb, because he had something I desperately wanted and he knew it. It’s a position my father never would have gotten himself in and, if he had gotten himself in this position, he would have walked away. I wanted the land too badly and had too much riding on it to walk away. I’d invested too much time and energy into finding this property. I pushed my chair back and stood. I offered my hand and Bart shook it. The others had already moved out to the porch and I went out there to find Carrie and George, heads together, at the far end of the porch and Mary Ellen and Dwight sitting on the porch steps. “I guess you and your brother want to get back to
the city,” I said. I sat on the porch steps next to Dwight, even though my instincts were roaring at me to get between Carrie and George. She didn’t belong to me, I had no right to get between her and a potential real boyfriend. My chest pinched tight at the thought. I pulled in a deep breath and focused on Dwight. “I sure do,” Dwight said. “But George is sticking around. He’s not a city boy at heart and he’s got an opportunity working at the university in the next county over.” “Really,” I said. “What’s he going to be doing there?” Dwight looked up at me with what can only be described as an evil grin. “He’s going to be an English professor.” I groaned. Perfect ex-boyfriend George was so clearly everything that Carrie wanted, I didn’t stand a chance against him. “Ready to go?” Carrie asked, stepping up next to me and sliding her hand into mine. “Yeah.” We thanked Mary Ellen for dinner, said goodbye to Dwight and George, and got in the car. “What did Bart have to say?” Carrie asked as soon as I was back on the main road. “Do you think he bought it?” “Nope. Do you have any real interest in George?”
“What?” “Do you want to date George? Do you think you might have a future with him?” “What does that have to do with what Bart said?” she asked. “I’ll tell you what Bart said after you answer the question.” She was quiet for several long miles and I felt the property slipping through my fingers, because I wouldn’t force her to keep up this charade if she had a chance at her happily ever after. Finally, a block from our houses, she spoke. “I was really crazy about him, you know, and I think that’s what I’m feeling now. It’s just nostalgia. I want to go back to those simple, fun times, but…” She hesitated. I pulled into my driveway and told myself this was for the best. It was better she walked away now before she developed feelings for me. “But I don’t know him anymore and I just… Well, I don’t want to be mean, because I don’t know him well, but…he’s kind of a douche.” That stopped me and I twisted in my seat to look at her. “You think he’s a douche? But you laughed at everything he said. You seemed totally smitten with him.” “Smitten? Who are you and what have you done with my rude, abrasive neighbor?” I laughed. “Apparently, he’s switched bodies with his sexy schoolteacher neighbor. Please tell me
all the ways you think George is a douche.” “Um, well he hit on me three separate times with you either right there or in the next room. What kind of guy hits on another man’s fiancée?” I shrugged. “A man who thinks you’re only pretending to be engaged?” “Which he tried to get me to admit several times. I don’t like games and I don’t like subterfuge…Current predicament notwithstanding. Either he believes we’re engaged and hit on me anyway, or he was trying to get me to admit we were only pretending so he could run back to his granddad and tattle. Either way, he’s kind of a douche. Not to mention that his jokes were a lot funnier when I was seventeen.” “His bad jokes are my good fortune,” I said. “Come inside and I’ll tell you what Bart said.” She looked over her shoulder at Betty’s house. Betty wasn’t outside on the porch, since it was after eight, but she was likely peeking through the blinds. “Yeah, I’ll come in for a bit.” I led her inside and sat on the couch next to her. I was careful not to touch her now that we were alone. That just felt like asking for trouble. “Bart will sell me the property in one month, assuming you and I haven’t broken up before then.” “One month?” Her eyes widened. “As in four weeks?”
I was confused, but I figured she was in shock, so I didn’t roll my eyes or ask if she’d hit her head. “Yes. Thirty-one days. He also suggested we live together.” She nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah, that makes sense.” I stared at her. “The month deadline shocks you, but you’re okay with living together?” “Well, I’m not okay with it,” she said. “But it makes sense. If I was engaged to someone, I’d be at his place or he’d be at mine every night. Don’t you think?” “I’ve never had a relationship longer than a week, so I’m probably not the best judge.” She shook her head and bit down on a smile. “I also think we should have sex.” I tried to take in the words she’d just said, but I felt a bit like I’d been kicked in the nuts. “No, no, no. That’s a really, really bad idea. If we have sex, you’ll get attached and then the break-up will become a real break-up and you’ll cry and I’ll have to punch myself and shit will get ugly.” She rolled her eyes. “Why do men think they have the magic cock that will make women fall in love with them?” She said a whole bunch of stuff after that, but I was stuck on the word cock rolling from between her perfect, cupid’s bow lips. I had no idea she had such a filthy mouth and of course my cock was
magic, that was why women…Holy shit, I didn’t exactly have women lining up begging me for more after they’d experienced my cock, with the tragic exception of Rachel Goldsmith. I’d always thought it was because I told them how it was going to be and they accepted that, but what if the problem was I was terrible in bed? Carrie snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Have you heard a word I just said?” “Not really.” She huffed. “My body is attracted to a complete and utter moron.” “Hey. That moron is sitting right here.” She shrugged. “I’m honestly not that concerned about your feelings, Cody. Here’s the deal, I’m attracted to you and you’re attracted to me. I’ve had the longest dry spell known to man and I would really love for it to end. There’s no danger of either of us falling in love with the other so why don’t we just do it and get it out of our system. Then the sexual tension will dissipate, we’ll realize just how incompatible we really are for one another and we can treat this like the business arrangement it is.” “You’re okay with the month deadline?” “As long as you agree to be my sex slave? Yes, I am.” I couldn’t match this brazen, open Carrie with the Carrie I’d known who didn’t talk about sex to
me, ever. “Are you high right now?” She scooted closer to me and put a hand on my thigh. “Nope. Just sick of all the games and bullshit. I’ve tried dating the right way, I’ve looked for the right guy, and I’ve followed all the rules. Clearly, having fun and reliving my twenties is a bad idea in public, but in private…” I was having a really, really hard time focusing on anything but her lips and where I’d most like to feel them first. I wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck, but my conscience stopped me. “One more thing.” “Yeah,” she said, her voice breathy, her eyes on my lips. “We’re going out of town this weekend. My mother wants to meet you.” She pulled back and glared at me. “You want me to lie to your mother?” “No. She knows we’re pretending.” “Then why would she possibly want to meet me?” “Because she’s a meddlesome mother. She’s going to tell Bart the truth if we don’t visit.” “I guess we don’t have any choice.” She leaned in closer, her lips a breath away from mine. “Are you sure about this?” “Hell, yes.”
CHAPTER NINE Carrie Cody’s mouth crashed onto mine and the last bit of reason and sanity I’d been holding onto fled. I’d done such a good job ignoring my lust for Cody, but then George had reminded me of all the jerks and losers I’d dated and I just wanted…I wanted a fun fling before I died alone an old spinster with fifteen dogs. I was allergic to cats, so I couldn’t even get spinsterhood right. I pulled at his shirt and slid my hands under it. I explored his hard, warm muscles. They felt really, really good. I was slowly beginning to think maybe I’d been wrong in writing off overly-muscled men. I pushed his shirt up and dropped my mouth to his chest, exploring the valleys and ridges of his pecs as I went. He moaned and the knowledge that I’d been the reason he’d made that sexy sound set me on fire. I’d only ever been with two men and it was so long ago I’d almost forgotten what it was like. Even so I was pretty sure it hadn’t been like this. My every nerve ending was alive and electric and I couldn’t get enough of him. I flicked my tongue over his nipple and then
sucked it into my mouth. “Holy fuck,” he said, his body vibrating. He wrapped his big arms around me and lifted me with him as he stood. “I’m stating for the record that this is a mistake,” he said. “I like you better when you don’t talk.” For once in my life I was going to make the wrong choice, and I was going to enjoy the hell out of it. He chuckled and carried me down the hall to his room. He set me down on the bed and took two steps back. His expression shuttered and he put his hands behind his back, as though he was trying to remember not to touch me. “We shouldn’t do this.” He took another step back. “This is only going to complicate everything. We should stick to the plan and keep this platonic and business-like.” Damn it. He was supposed to be a party boy, a good-time guy, he wasn’t supposed to worry about my feelings. He wasn’t supposed to be the sensible one. I just wanted to enjoy him. I just wanted…I told myself I wanted to feed my lust, stoked by an eternal dry spell, but the truth was, I was lonely. With Cody, I could pretend, just for a bit, that he was my everything. I could push my loneliness away and know my heart would be safe at the end of it. I wouldn’t get the real thing with him, but I wanted a taste, I just wanted to pretend for a little while that I wasn’t alone, that I had someone in my bed and at my back. I just wanted to
pretend…“What if it’s not a bad idea?” I said. This was either the craziest idea I’d ever had, or the best one. “What if you aren’t my neighbor? What if I’m a vineyard owner and you’re the guy who…I don’t know, does whatever job on a vineyard requires sweat and muscles and shirt-less work?” His brow twisted in confusion and he shook his head. “What are you talking about?” I had no earthly idea, but I liked it. I was a mental person, I used my imagination with every book I read, and this fantasy I was painting…Well, it was kind of fun. “I’ve been watching you work in the fields and I’ve been…” I felt my cheeks heat, but I pushed on. If I gave up now, he’d walk away and probably never give me another chance to convince him we should consummate our attraction. “I’ve been dreaming about you, naked and touching me, kissing me. I’ve wanted you, but you haven’t even looked at me. Not once.” “Carrie,” Cody said, but he took a step forward and I could see the desire on his face. “This is a mistake.” “You’re right. This would be a mistake, if Carrie the school teacher and Cody her neighbor had sex, but it’s not a mistake for Carrie the vineyard owner and Cody the hot, sweaty worker to have sex, because they aren’t real.” I could see the doubt on his face. I could see him resisting. “We’ll pretend we’re other people, remove
ourselves from this room by another step and be sure no one gets hurt.” He still doubted, I could see him mentally backing up and I wanted…I wanted…For once, I wanted to take what I wanted without guilt or shame or hesitation. “Please, Cody. I just…Just let me have this. It’s been so long since I—” “I want a raise,” he said, his voice gruff and firm and…Yes, there was still hesitation on his face, but his eyes were alight with something like excitement. “What?” “I’m working in your vineyards from sun-up to sun-down. I’ve saved your grapes and your winery with my knowledge and fast-thinking and I want a raise.” Oh…Oh. I smiled at him, slipping into the fantasy, taking on the role of a woman in charge, a woman who sees what she wants and is willing to take it, regardless of ethics or morals or…Okay, if she was a real person, she wouldn’t be very nice, but she wasn’t real and this was…This was fun. I looked Cody up and down like he was an object. The way he straightened and his eyes darkened let me know I was having an effect on him. I liked having an effect on him, I liked this game. “I wasn’t planning to give out any raises this year and, quite honestly, I’ve noticed you slacking and taking more time off than you should. I’m not sure you’ve
earned a raise.” Cody took those two steps back to me and his eyes blazed with heat and desire. I suspected if I looked down, I’d see a more certain sign of his interest, but I was playing a game and Carrie, the vineyard owner, wasn’t going to look. “Do you have any suggestions for how I could earn that raise?” I looked over his shoulder at the open door. “I’ll have to think about it. It’s not something that can be discussed in a public place.” Cody smirked and stalked back to the door. He closed it and returned to me. “Tell me what you want, Miss Harrison.” “I want you to get on your knees and put your face between my legs.” I’d never been so bold in my life. I was pretty pragmatic about sex and wasn’t afraid to tell a guy what I liked or didn’t like in bed, but I’d never demanded he service me. I wasn’t myself, though, I was someone braver and more confident. Cody pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the floor, displaying all his hard planes and ridges. I wanted to touch them, I wanted to lick them. Before I could do either, he was on his knees, his hands working at the buttons on my pants and sliding them down. This would have been so much sexier if I’d worn a skirt or a dress. Instead, I stepped out of my pants at his urging. He leaned
forward and pressed a soft kiss to my core, over my panties. He looked up at me, his eyes hooded, his expression fierce and I swear it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life. He hadn’t even touched me and I was already wet and aching for him just from the expression on his face. “Take off your top,” he said, his voice gruff.” “I’m the boss here,” I said. “I tell you what to do and not the other way around.” It felt damn good to take charge. Some guys might have gotten annoyed or pissy, but Cody just smiled, slid his thumbs up my hips, under the little strings that held up my panties and pulled them down. He didn’t give me a chance to step out of them before his mouth was on me, his tongue and his fingers working me in a way both gentle and demanding. My knees shook and I wished I’d thought this through a bit more. It would be so much better to be laying down and…“Stop,” I said, my own voice raspy. Cody stopped immediately and backed away. Concern on his face. “I will enjoy this more if I’m lying down. Help me take off the rest of my clothes and allow me to get comfortable.” “Yes, boss,” he said, with a sexy smirk. Damn, I liked the sound of that. He stood, his impressive reaction to me impossible to miss. He unbuttoned my cardigan, taking an eternity to work three small buttons open.
Then he pushed it off, pressing kisses to each shoulder and to my collarbone. As he pushed the cardigan down my arms and over my hands, he kissed my neck. He kissed my neck and I nearly squealed with pleasure. How did something so simple feel so damn good? He stepped back and pulled the little tank underneath over my head, revealing my breasts in a lacy demi-bra. He took my mouth then, kissing me hard and allowing me to taste myself on his tongue. The kiss melted every part of me, until I felt I’d dissolve into a puddle on the floor. With a wellpracticed ease, he reached behind me and undid the clasp on my bra. He let it fall to the floor, and he laved each of my nipples with his tongue, making me moan aloud. He gave me a small nudge and I fell back, like I was made of liquid, onto the bed. He knelt, spread my legs wide and studied me for a moment, taking in every inch of my naked body. “You are even more fucking perfect than I’d imagined you’d be.” He bent and pressed his mouth to me, sucking and licking, until he brought me to a roaring orgasm that left me feeling limp and entirely sated. He stood and looked down at me, his expression smug and satisfied. “Have I earned my raise?” I lifted one hand limply and waved him away. “Yes, you may go now.” I was teasing. The last
thing I wanted was for him to leave, but Carrie, the vineyard owner would likely be done with him. He chuckled and stroked himself through his jeans. “I’m not sure I have earned that raise, boss. I’d like to be given the opportunity to give you a full one hundred percent of my effort.” I licked my lips, my limp body coming awake and igniting with renewed desire. “I wouldn’t want you to leave without showing me everything you’ve got to offer,” I said. He stripped off his jeans and his boxers and stood before me naked. I swallowed hard. He was large and he was beautiful and I…I wasn’t at all sure I could handle him. He must have seen something on my face, because his smug expression became even more smug. “Don’t worry, boss. I’ll make it good for you. I understand if you need a little help getting readjusted to the ride after an eternal dry spell.” I huffed, lust turning to annoyance. “Eternal is a huge exaggeration.” I shook my head. “You know what? I think if you want to earn that raise, you’d do well to talk less.” He smirked. “Good thing I’m not actually expecting a raise.” “What?” Were we no longer playing? “You aren’t the only one who’s been watching and dreaming. I’ve wanted you for a long fucking time, raise or no raise, and I’m going to enjoy every
moment of this.” Wow. I liked being in charge, but seeing him take charge made me melt. He bent and got something from his jeans pocket. Then he straightened and slowly slid a condom over his length. He laid down on the bed and pulled me over until I was straddling him. “First, though, I’m going to let you run the show a little longer. I want to see what it looks like when Carrie Harrison fucks me.” I forgot how to breath for a moment. Who was this guy and why did I suddenly want to do everything he asked? I straightened my shoulders. This guy was someone who worked for me and, if he wanted to see me take charge, I was going to give him what he wanted. I slid onto him, slowly, giving myself time to get comfortable. I watched his face as I took every inch of him, watched him watch me as his expression went lax and pleasure suffused his features. I was pretty sure I could get off just watching his face, but I wanted more. I rode him, touching my breasts and showing off a bit, just to see what reaction I’d get from him, just because it was fun and made me feel sexy as hell. His reaction didn’t disappoint and it didn’t take long before pleasure rushed through me like a bolt of feel-good lightening. Once I’d reached my climax, he gripped my hips and took control, seeming to understand what I needed without words. He urged me toward another climax and,
when I reached it, he rolled us, so that he was on top. He took his time, torturing me with pleasure, before he picked up the pace and reached his own release. I was pretty sure I’d never move again. I’d never leave that bed again, now I knew the kind of pleasure that could be found there. He rolled off me and lay next to me until we caught our breath. Then he got up and disposed of the condom. I stared at the ceiling, trying to understand how I’d just had the best sex of my life with a man I didn’t like very much. He came back to the bed and lay down, not touching me. “Am I alone in this?” he asked. “Or was that amazing?” “You’re not alone,” I said, still trying to catch my breath. “It was amazing.” And now it felt awkward. I slid off the bed and started pulling on my clothes. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice sleepy. “I’m getting dressed and going home. The sex was great, but cuddling after doesn’t work for Carrie the school teacher or Carrie the Vineyard owner.” He sat up, and I very studiously avoided looking at his naked form, the way his ab muscles bunched, or the sleepy, sated look on his face. “You’re right,” he said. “But you should stay. Like you said, people are going to expect us to be
sharing a bed most nights.” I sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. “Right.” But everything felt more difficult and less casual now. He’d been a generous lover and gone above and beyond to make sure I was pleased. I was having a hard time remembering why I didn’t want to snuggle with him or have a repeat of that amazing sex. “Borrow one of my t-shirts and get back in bed,” he said. “I promise, no cuddling.” Exhaustion washed over me. Pretending took a lot more energy than I’d anticipated. Cody got up and walked across the room to his dresser, naked. I watched his body move, unable to take my eyes off his perfect ass, or his muscular back. He no longer seemed over-muscled to me, he seemed perfect, and desire rose in me again. He pulled a shirt from a drawer and tossed it to me. “If you don’t stop looking at me like that,” he said. “We aren’t going to be getting to sleep anytime soon.” I dropped my eyes to the floor and pulled his tshirt on. I slid back out of my pants and climbed under the covers. He put his boxer briefs back on and got in next to me. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” “‘Night.” I snuggled down into a pillow that smelled like him and fell asleep almost immediately. I woke up warm and cozy, the pillow under me vibrating in the most relaxing way. I froze. There wasn’t a pillow under me, there was a man. A man
with a very happy lower appendage poking me in the belly. My body ignited and I resisted the urge to slide up and take him inside me. It would be wrong to attack a sleeping man. Very, very wrong. It was also wrong to be snuggling with him in such a gratuitous full-body snuggle. But worse than that, I couldn’t stop smiling. This wasn’t a good thing. I didn’t love the feel of him or the smell of him, masculine and outdoorsy mixed with the intoxicating aroma of sex. No. This relationship was going to require self-control. It was temporary and he was a big jerk. A really, really big jerk. A large hand gripped my ass and pulled me until my happy place was resting just right against his happy place. I let out a moan and then bit my lip to stop from making any more sounds. “Relax,” he said. “It’s not snuggling. It’s foreplay.” I laughed, relieved and…Just plain happy. Happy not to be waking up alone and happy to be so warm in his arms. I felt like sharing the happiness. “Well, then. Carrie the vineyard owner has just gotten to work and found Cody, the worker who wants more than a raise, in her office and very happy to see her. She tells him it’s time to play.” “We could,” he said. “But don’t you usually go for a morning-” His words stopped as I slid down his body and took him in my mouth, showing him just how much
I’d rather play than run. *** I couldn’t stop smiling. I smiled while I broke up a fight between two freshmen girls in the hall before class and I smiled when Freddy Rosten said fiction was a waste of time and paper and I even smiled when Missy Melcher complimented me on my taste in men, saying it was better to have a good-looking man than a smart one. I don’t know how she concluded that Cody was dumb, but I’d come to the same conclusion after seeing him for the first time, so I couldn’t really argue with her. There was just something counter-intuitive about the idea of a man that good-looking also being smart. I no longer cared if Cody was smart or sweet or an unemployed deadbeat, as long as he kept putting this smile on my face, I was pretty sure I’d forgive him just about anything. I didn’t stop smiling until Kayla wasn’t seated in my third period class. Her homeroom teacher had marked her as absent, so she hadn’t just skipped my class. She was probably out sick. But a bad feeling crept into my gut, and I couldn’t help worrying about her. I was still worried when I pulled into my driveway at five that evening. I stepped out of my car and smiled at Cody who waved from his porch.
My smile fell when I saw his serious expression. He met me at my car. “Some kids showed up on your doorstep this afternoon. They wouldn’t tell me much more than their names, Kayla, Simon, and Jenny. I brought them inside and fed them, but they don’t trust me. They’re upset about something, but they won’t tell me what.” My heart sank and tears sprang to my eyes. “Thank you for taking care of them. I’ll be over in five minutes.” He nodded and went back inside. I ran to my own house and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. I hurried back to Cody’s with no earthly idea what to do. I stepped inside and saw Kayla seated on his couch, Simon and Jenny curled up next to her. Kayla saw me and her face crumpled and tears sprang to her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and held her until her sobs slowed. She sniffled and sat up. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” “It’s okay. What’s happened?” Her expression went carefully blank. “Nothing. I just came by to pick up any assignments I might have missed today. I had a bad headache and couldn’t make it to school.” Good smells were coming from the kitchen and I could hear Cody banging around in there. I was certain that Kayla was lying, but if I called her out
on it, the next time she needed help she might not come to me. “I’m hungry,” Jenny said. Kayla brushed a few errant strands of hair out of the little girl’s face and smiled at her warmly. “You just had a snack that Mr. Cody fixed for you.” “But I’m hungry and there’s no food at home.” My heart banged hard against my chest cavity and tears pricked my eyes. “You all should stay for dinner,” I said. “I’m sure Cody is making plenty.” And if he wasn’t, they could have my food. “Thank you,” Kayla said, not meeting my eyes. “That would be really nice.” “I’m just going to step into the kitchen and speak to Mr. Cody,” I said. “Then Kayla and I will go next door to get her assignments.” “Can we watch T.V., please Miss Harrison?” Simon asked. He was a small boy with big glasses and a wide, thin-lipped smile. “Of course you can.” I grabbed the remote and handed it to Kayla. She gave me a weak smile and turned on the television, flipping right away to the cartoon network. In the kitchen, Cody stood in front of a big pot, adding some spices and stirring. “Do you have enough there to feed the kids, too?” He smiled. “I’m already ahead of you. I’m making spaghetti and there’ll be plenty for everyone.” He stepped closer and pressed a quick
kiss to my lips. The action made my belly flop, because it felt too personal, too intimate, like a husband kissing his wife after a day at work. “Is she okay?” he asked in a low voice. I sighed. “Not even a little bit. I’m going to try to talk to her alone, but she doesn’t seem to want to talk.” He returned his attention to his pot. “I think she needs someone to talk to.” I left him to his cooking, pulled Kayla away from the T.V. and walked next door with her. “Come on in.” I opened my door and let her inside, following closely behind. In the light of the setting sun, it’s full strength on the front of my house, I could see how thin Kayla had gotten over the last month, her cheeks hollowed out and her eyes bigger in her thin face. I pulled a couple of sheets from my bag, essay questions about the latest book I’d assigned, and handed them to her. “This isn’t due until the end of next week.” I doubted she’d gone to any of her other teachers’ houses to get her assignments, but maybe she didn’t feel as comfortable with them. Kayla had eaten her lunch in my room on more than one occasion and we’d talked about books while she ate. She was a bit of a loner. Her best friend was a tenth-grade boy who lived next door to her, but she hadn’t gone to him either. I didn’t know a lot about him. He was a good kid, but I’d
heard things weren’t very good for him at home. She took the papers from me and gave me a weak smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry if we’re messing up your night with your boyfriend. We can go.” “You aren’t messing up anything. I’d very much like for you to stay. Is it true what Jenny said? Do you not have any food at home?” Kayla rolled her eyes, every bit the teenager annoyed with her baby sister. “We’ve got plenty of food. Just nothing she wants to eat. Dad…Um, he hasn’t gone grocery shopping yet this week, but he’s going tomorrow.” “Does your father know the three of you are over here?” She dropped her gaze to the floor and shook her head. “Dad just started a new job and he works late. He won’t be home until after ten, anyway.” “I’d still feel better if you let him know where you are.” “Um, okay,” she said. “Can I borrow your phone? I forgot to charge mine.” “Sure.” I handed her my phone and she sent a quick text to her dad. She gave me back my phone and turned to the door. “Kayla.” I waited, but she didn’t turn to face me. “If there’s anything you want to talk about or anything I can do, please let me know.” “Yeah, okay.” She left and trotted across the yard back to Cody’s house. I balled my hands into
fists and shook them out, trying to shake my frustration that she wouldn’t tell me what was going on, that she wouldn’t let me help. When I got back to the house, Cody had the kids seated at the table, plates and little glasses of milk in front of them. “Just in time,” he said when I walked through the door. He gave me a peck on the cheek and pointed me toward a seat at the other end of the table. “Are you sure you don’t need help with anything?” “Just sit,” he said. “I’ve got this.” I sat and watched him carry in a big bowl of spaghetti, the noodles and sauce already mixed together, and a plate of warm bread. I might not have kids of my own, but I babysat my way through high school and college and I knew how picky kids could be. I expected at least one of them to complain that she or he didn’t want noodles with sauce on them or refuse to eat the garden salad that Cody placed on the table next, but no one complained. Kayla scooped food onto Jenny’s plate and Simon piled his plate high on his own. Kayla took a more modest portion. They all waited for me and Cody to get our food, but the moment we started to eat, they dug in. They ate like they hadn’t had food in days, and my heart broke for those poor kids. Maybe they were just normal kids with high metabolisms and a hungry day, but I suspected they hadn’t been
getting enough food to eat for a while. Once they’d slowed down a bit, I did my best to make conversation. “Jenny,” I said. “How are you liking kindergarten?” “Fun.” “And Simon, what grade are you in now?” “Fourth.” “That’s right,” I said, like I knew. “And who’s your teacher?” “Mrs. Hollyoak.” “I’ve met her a few times,” I said. “She seems like a really fun teacher.” “I guess,” Simon said. Okay, I was striking out here. I knew school wasn’t the best place to start a conversation with kids, but I was more than a little afraid to ask about anything to do with their home lives. “Have you kids seen that new movie about the singing pig?” Cody asked. “Petunia Porky Superstar?” Jenny asked. “That’s the one,” Cody said. “It looks pretty good, but I was hoping to get some more opinions before I go see it myself.” Jenny lowered her eyes and shook her head. “Daddy doesn’t take us to the movies anymore.” “He’s just really busy with work,” Kayla said. “You’re lying,” Jenny said. “He hasn’t been going to work. He just sits around all day, doing
nothing.” Kayla glanced at me, her expression wary. “Well, he’s at work now,” she said. “He just had a couple of bad days.” Jenny opened her mouth like she was going to argue, but Kayla gave her a stern look and she shut it again. “You know,” I said. “Cody has a great climbing tree in his back yard. How about you three go back there and play and Cody and I will clean up the kitchen?” “Yeah,” Simon said, jumping out of his seat and running for the back door. Jenny was right on his heels. Kayla got up more slowly. “Daddy didn’t do nothing,” Kaylee said. “He just wasn’t feeling good.” “I understand,” I said. “It happens to all of us.” Kayla nodded and followed her siblings out the back door. “What do you think the story is there?” Cody asked after the door had closed behind her. “I don’t know. He was in a bad car accident two years ago and their mother was killed. Maybe he’s having a hard time coping with her loss or it could be depression from losing his job.” “It sounds like he’s getting back on track,” Cody said. “Why don’t you take the leftovers to him when you take the kids home?”
I cleaned up and Cody boxed up leftovers. The kids came in when it got too dark to play outside and we played a game of chutes and ladders I brought over from my house. It had been one of my favorites when I was a kid and I’d held onto it for the day I had children of my own. Even Kayla was relaxed and smiling by the second round of the game and Cody kept Jenny and Simon in fits of giggles by pretending to be hugely disappointed every time he had to slide backwards and ecstatic when he got to climb ahead. For a little bit, even I forgot to be worried about the state of the kids’ home life and just enjoyed them. Simon was quiet, but he had a competitive streak that lit him up while we were playing. His drive to win didn’t stop him from helping Jenny when he thought no one was looking. Jenny was entirely aware of her brother’s willingness to help her and she took full advantage. The mischievousness and intelligence in her eyes was adorable now, but I could see her being trouble when she got older. It was clear she had smart older siblings, too, her vocabulary was well beyond her years and, as I learned from our conversation about books after the game, Kayla read to both of them on a regular basis. Jenny was asleep on Simon’s lap by the time ten o clock rolled around, and Simon was yawning and rubbing his eyes. I hated to keep them up so
late, but I didn’t want to take the kids back to an empty house, so I’d made sure not to leave Cody’s house until Kayla assured me we’d find their dad at home. This time, I was faster than Kayla when we got out of the car. I made it to the porch where her father was waiting before she did. Her father hadn’t attended any teacher/parent events, so I’d never had the chance to talk to him face to face. I didn’t have any way to compare the man I saw that evening to an earlier version of himself. He was in sweats and a t-shirt, like a man who’d just gotten off work and had immediately changed into comfortable clothes. He was cleanshaven and his smile was warm, but he looked a bit dazed, probably tired from a long day. “Thank you for looking out for the kids while I was at work, Miss Harrison.” His smile was wide, if a bit cold. “I usually make sure Kayla has the spare key, but I forgot to check this morning before they left for school.” Kayla was locked out again? Why didn’t she just tell me? “It was a pleasure to spend the evening with them,” I said. “They are wonderful children.” His smile dropped just a bit as he looked past me at Kayla. “They are the best thing in my life.” He returned his gaze to me. “They are my whole world.” He took a step toward the door. “It is way past
your bed time, kids. Come on, inside.” Jenny and Simon trudged past me and through the open door their father held open, but Kayla stayed where she was. Her quiet presence felt meaningful in a way, like a pressure behind me to do something more, to say something more, to find out what was really going on. “Kayla is a wonderful student,” I said. “I’m sure you’re very proud of her.” He grinned past me at Kayla. “Her obsession with books has been good for something, then, I guess.” “Mom loved books, too,” Kayla said, her voice soft. Her father’s expression shuttered and he frowned. “Why don’t you get inside and see to the little ones?” Kayla drifted past me and went inside. Her father started to follow but I stopped him, almost putting a hand on his arm, but stopping myself before I crossed a line. “My neighbor made a ton of food, and I brought leftovers for you all to share.” He turned back to me, looking decidedly less cheery. “That’s awfully kind of you.” “I’m happy to watch the kids any time,” I said. “I can help out—” “We don’t need any help.” The hard edge to his tone and his expression was one I’d seen on the faces of other parents who were struggling
financially and didn’t want to admit it or talk about it. “Thanks for the food.” He took the boxes of leftovers from my arms, spun, and stomped inside, slamming the door hard before I could say anymore. The click of the lock signaled the end of our conversation. I drove home, feeling like a boulder had settled in my stomach. I parked in my driveway. Cody’s house was dark and I figured it best if I didn’t disturb him. I was in no mood to be fit for company. I let myself into my own house and flicked on the living room light to find a dark figure on my couch. I jumped and let out a little squeak and Cody’s warm rumble of a laugh washed over me. “You left your door unlocked,” he said. “Again.” “And you decided you wanted to hang out in a different house tonight?” “I figured you’d try to avoid me because you’re upset. I wasn’t in the mood to be avoided.” I sighed and dropped down on the couch next to him. He pulled me in for a tight hug that made tears well in my eyes. “I’m really not the best company right now.” “I’m not asking you to be good company,” he said. “Tell me about their dad.” So, I told him about their dad and I shared my concerns with him. He didn’t suggest I was being over dramatic or worrying about nothing. He just
held me and listened. Then we went to bed and broke our rule, because he held me all night. While I slept. *** “Ready to go?” Cody asked. He was leaning in my doorway, the setting sun behind him, his face in shadow. “I’d be more ready to go if you’d given me at least a hint about what we’d be doing and what clothes would be most appropriate.” I picked up my overnight bag, packed with jeans and cute tops, one pair of slacks, a sweater, and one dress. He shrugged. “I’ve got no idea. My momma makes her own agenda. We’ll find out what we’re doing when we get there.” I followed him out the front door. “It never occurred to you to ask your mother the plan for the weekend?” He took my bag and threw it behind the seats of his truck. He opened my door and I stepped up and inside the behemoth of a vehicle. “My momma is not prone to openness with me.” He shut my door and jogged around to his own. “Why not?” I asked. He started the truck. “I haven’t been so good about keeping in touch or being the doting son she’d like me to be. And she has good reason to be
angry with me.” “What did you do?” He shrugged and backed out of the driveway. “Disgraced the family, drove my father into an early grave, and then walked away without a look back. All the sort of stuff a no-good, unemployed party boy would do.” If I thought he was trying to make me feel guilty for all the mean things I’d said about him, I might have agreed with him or told him to shut his face, but he seemed sincere. Was this really what he thought of himself? And when had I started to suspect it wasn’t who he was at all? “Passenger gets to pick the music, right?” I said, to distract myself from both questions. “Music is the driver’s prerogative.” He hit a button on the radio and AC/DC’s Back in Black blared from the speakers. I reached over and tried to find the volume control, but his dashboard was confusing and I wasn’t sure if I was turning down the music or turning down the heat. Finally, I managed to get the music to a reasonable level. “I’m not going to listen to this all the way to Atlanta.” He reached over and turned it back up. “It would do you good to expand your musical appreciation.” I turned it back down. “Then let’s take turns. I pick a station, then you pick a station.”
“I’m not one of your students. You can’t convince me to share and be fair by using that sweet, reasonable tone of yours.” If he hadn’t been driving, I very well may have punched him. Instead, I put my feet up on his dash and pulled my snack bag out of my purse. I never went anywhere without my snack bag. Harrison made fun of me and suggested it was just one more example of me being an old lady before my time. I thought a snack bag just made good sense. I never knew when I might get stuck somewhere without food and I didn’t respond well to hunger. If I was ever on one of those reality television survival shows, I’d quit after the first hour just out of fear of starvation. I pulled a donut out of my snack bag and held it up to my lips. “Agree to my deal or I’ll eat this powdery white donut in your beloved truck.” He laughed. “Do you have any idea what’s in those things, because I’m almost certain none of the ingredients are actual food. I can clean my truck, but you can’t ever undo the damage to your body caused by eating junk like that.” I took a big bite, which was half the donut, and moaned to demonstrate just how good it was. I wasn’t actually hungry, but hunger had nothing to do with the point I was trying to make. “Not to mention the sugar content. Do you know what sugar does to your body?”
I stuffed the rest of the donut in my mouth and spoke around it. “It makes me happy.” He couldn’t manage to hold onto his disdain or his superiority any longer. He laughed, his head thrown back so far I was a little worried he was going to drive us into oncoming traffic. I chewed, trying to not notice how good a laugh and a smile looked on him. “Do you carry donuts with you everywhere you go?” “They’re my special starvation treats.” “Your what?” “In case I get stuck somewhere without food, like if I accidentally lock myself in my car or get lost in the woods or stuck at the DMV. These little donuts are a power house of fat and energy to keep me going, and they never go bad.” He shook his head, his smile huge. “What caused this fear of starvation?” “I wouldn’t call it a fear. I just get a little moody when I’m over-hungry. I like to avoid it.” “I’ll make sure to feed you every three hours.” “I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself. If you agree to keep your music turned down low, I’ll just read my book.” “What are you reading?” “One of those fun hybrids,” I said. “Part suspense, part thriller, part romance, part science fiction.” “That sounds oddly intriguing. I’ll turn the
music off altogether if you read it to me.” “I’m already a quarter of the way through.” “Well, I get bored driving, so I either need loud music or an audio book. Since I don’t have any audio books, I’d hoped your scintillating conversation would entertain me. Seeing as how you only want to argue, you should read to me to make up for it.” I didn’t react as I expect he wanted me to. I was on to him, he was picking a fight as a way to entertain himself and I wasn’t going to play. I would read to him, because I enjoyed reading aloud, it was something I did often as a teacher. I pulled out my Kindle and clicked back to the start of the book. I read to him, but I looked up every two pages or so to admire the scenery as we drove through North Carolina and South Carolina and into Georgia. I read to him until my throat was dry and my jaw hurt. I closed the Kindle and rested my head against the seat back. “Are we there yet?” “Three more hours,” he said. “You’ve got a nice voice. Not sure about the book, though.” “She’s not the most likable character, but give it a chance. It gets better.” “There’s a rest stop ahead,” he said. “Want to get out and stretch a bit?” “Sounds good.” There were only a couple other cars in the parking lot of the rest stop. Cody met me at the
front of the truck, grabbed me and pulled me against him in a hard kiss. I froze in shock for a moment, but caught on and kissed him back after just a few seconds. I forgot where we were, my whole world became the feel of him against me, and I just wanted more, more, more. I’d never been so greedy for something in my life. “Listening to you read for the last hour and a half has been the weirdest sort of foreplay I’ve ever experienced,” he said. “I’m not sure I’m going to be able to wait until we get to the house to ravish you again.” “Well, you’re going to have to wait longer than that,” I said. “Because I am not doing anything with you in your mother’s house.” His eyes widened and his grip on my hips tightened. “Why the hell not?” “Um, because she knows our engagement is a big, fat fake and, even if it was real, I wouldn’t have sex with my fiancé under his mother’s roof. What if she heard us?” His smile widened. “You know what this sounds like,” he said. “It sounds like a challenge. I love a good challenge.” A moment ago, he’d been making my blood heat with lust, now it was heating with irritation. “It’s not a challenge. It’s a fact.” “Sure,” he said. “Whatever you say, boss.” “Uh-huh. I’m going to use a bathroom.”
“Look around while you’re in there. See if you can find a good place for me to make you forget your name.” “Right, because sex in a filthy, smelly rest stop bathroom is every woman’s fantasy.” Despite my words, I couldn’t help looking around as I walked through the building. Everything was slightly grimy and wide open to anyone who walked by. Not an option. I shook my head as I walked back to Cody, who was leaning against the front of his truck. His shoulders slumped and he shook his head. “Guess you’ll just have to give me road head.” “Road head?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I understood exactly what he meant. I slapped his stomach hard with the back of my hand. “In your dreams.” He doubled over in mock pain and grunted. Then he hobbled to get into the truck. “Sounds like you’ve just given me my second challenge.” He sat and started the engine. “You’re setting yourself up for failure on every level.” I wasn’t sure if he’d convince me to sleep with him in his mother’s house, but I was certain he’d never convince me to give him “road head.” I was a cautious person by nature and nurture. I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about the potential consequences. What if he closed his eyes or lost control of the car? It was way too risky.
He smirked. “It wouldn’t be the first time.” “And I’m sure it won’t be the last,” I said. “My throat is sore. Tell me a story.” “A story? Like Cinderella? You want a bedtime story?” “No. Tell me a story about you and your family. Prepare me for the people I’m about to meet.” He was quiet for so long, I was certain he was going to ignore my request. “We didn’t have much money when I was a kid,” he said at last. “We lived in this tiny house, in the middle of the woods, that my dad had grown up in. Three bedrooms and one bathroom for a family of eight people was a bit crowded. So, we spent a good deal of time outside, exploring the woods and learning about nature. My dad loved the outdoors and he’d give us these long lectures on the life cycle of the pine tree or why having black snakes around your house was a good thing or how forest fires made forests healthier or the mating habits of squirrels. Us kids always pretended to be bored and rolled our eyes, but I never got tired of hearing those lectures. I think that’s part of the reason I fell in love with growing grapes and making wine. How the natural world works and the way it can provide the sweetest things for us fascinates me.” I waited, but it seemed he wasn’t going to say anything else. “And?”
He jolted like he’d forgotten I was there. “And what?” “That’s not a story. That’s a little bit of information about you and your dad. I asked for a story.” He scowled. “You’re a very demanding woman, Carrie Harrison.” “I know what I want,” I said. “And I want a story.” He smiled. “Alright. As we all got older, I was the only one who continued to spend time in the forest. My little sister May would try to tag along, but I was a jerk of an older brother and usually sent her home. Dad would include her if he went with me, but he wasn’t around much at that point. Right before we moved out of that tiny house, we all got together one last time and went for a walk through the woods with my dad. We walked and laughed and Dad lectured us like it was his last chance to teach us all something. It’s one of my best memories of him.” “Were the two of you close?” “Yeah, in our own way, I guess. We fought a lot, because I wanted different things than he did. Our love of the outdoors, of being outside, was one of the only things we had in common.” “It’s good that you have some nice memories of him at least,” I said. “How about you? What’s your relationship like
with your parents?” Most of the people in Catalpa Creek had known my parents or me or all of us for decades, so I’d never really been asked about my relationship with my parents before. I had to consider for a few moments. “My parents were a lot older when they had me and they weren’t expecting me. They loved me, but they didn’t have a ton of patience for me. I was a difficult child.” “You?” he asked, eyebrows high. “I was supremely sensitive and prone to tantrums. Looking back on it, I think I just wanted them to pay more attention to me, to notice me, to get down on the floor and play with me. My sister adored me, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted my parents, you know?” I’d revealed more than I’d first intended. Cody didn’t want to hear about my issues. “They’re good people and I know they love me, but…Eventually, I figured out that I’d get more of their attention if I was calm and did the things they liked to do.” “Like knitting and drinking tea and shopping at Chico’s?” I laughed. “How do you even know what Chico’s is?” He smiled. “I get my mom a gift card there every Christmas.” “How original and thoughtful.” He grunted. “I’m a man. A gift card is the best
I can do.” “I seriously doubt that,” I said. “Try putting a bit more thought into her next gift and see how that works out for you.” “Are you still close to your parents now that they’ve retired down south?” “We chat on the phone at least once a week,” I said. “But they’ve never…They don’t really understand many of my life choices. They think I’m wasting myself working as a teacher and they can’t stand Dilly. They would rather stick splinters under their nails than garden. They thought I was making a mistake taking in Harrison and sided with his father the one time he tried to start something about a custody battle. He never followed it through, thankfully. Let’s just say it’s a bit easier on us all to have a lot of miles between us.” He stared at the windshield, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel, his lips pursed. “It must have been lonely for you as a kid. After your sister moved out.” “It was. I was only six when she left home to go to college, and eight when she stopped coming home for summer breaks. It was like losing a parent in a lot of ways, losing the one person who really understood me.” “You were lucky to have her.” “I used to dream I had a huge family, like you do. I’d wish every night for my parents to have
more kids. They probably would have keeled over at the thought. You must have had so much fun being part of such a big family.” “Let’s see if you still say that after this weekend.” I read to him until we stopped for dinner. After dinner, he told me about his brothers and sisters. His oldest brother, Noah, and his oldest sister, Jill, worked for the family business and were, according to him, type-A, toe-the-line types. His next oldest sister, Jenna, was a college professor. His younger brother, Jared, was a veterinarian, and his youngest sister, May, was the twenty-four-year-old baby of the family and currently unemployed. I could tell from the way he spoke of them that he loved them all, but it was clear May was his favorite and he babied her. I was yawning and struggling to keep my eyes open, even though it was only eight, when he parked on the street in front of a stately stone town home. I could see the skyscrapers of the city behind the row of houses, and it looked like we were only walking distance from them. “Are we here?” “We are,” he said, his mouth a grim line. “Look, I should warn you. I left Atlanta after my dad’s funeral and I haven’t been back until now. I haven’t seen my family in years.” “What? Why?” I’d been nervous enough about meeting his family before he’d told me he’d been
estranged from them. Now, I felt a bit light-headed and I was pretty sure my heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest. “Um, before my dad died, we had a big fight. He told me he didn’t want to see me again and that I was no longer welcome as a company employee. I held onto those words and swore I wouldn’t come back until I’d proved myself. Until I’d shown him and all my family that I’m not the fuck-up they think I am.” And he was back because of our fake engagement, because his mother had blackmailed him. “Something I’ve found to be true time and time again, from my observations of parents and students, is that the way those closest to us see us isn’t the whole truth about who we are. Families tend to put each member into an easily labeled box and don’t notice when that person changes or exceeds their expectations.” “So, you’re saying they’ll always see me as a fuck-up, no matter what I do?” “No, what I’m saying—” A tiny woman being led by an enormous dog jogged by and distracted me. Once she’d passed, I looked again at the townhouse we were parked in front of. I was used to town homes that were small and modest, but this was a huge house, three times the size of my house. All that made it a town home was that it was attached to another home. My nerves kicked up
another notch. “What I’m saying is, just because they view you as a fuck-up doesn’t mean you are.” “Okay. Are you alright?” I shifted in my seat to face him. “You didn’t tell me you were rich.” He grinned, but it looked forced. “I’m not rich.” “Huh. So, we’re going to walk into this house that I could get lost in and never find my way out of, face the tension of seeing your family after an estrangement, and —” “Carrie.” He took my chin in his hand and held me in place. He dropped a sweet kiss on my lips and leaned back. “My mother is well-off, but she’s not obscenely rich. My father bought this place as a foreclosure during a market downturn and he fixed it up himself. My mother isn’t snooty or judgmental, and I can promise she will love you and dote on you. You have nothing to worry about.” “Oh,” I said, beginning to feel a bit less nervous and a bit more excited. “Is that downtown Atlanta over there? I’ve never been in walking distance of such a huge city, or of any city, really.” I could just make out his eyes widening in the dim light cast from the front porch light. “You’ve never been close to a city before?” “I’ve never been anywhere but Catalpa Creek, but I’ve always wanted to travel.” “Then I’ll make sure you see all the sights
while we’re here.” He got out of the truck, helped me out, and grabbed our bags. I followed him into the house, oddly comforted by his pep talk, and I realized that something had changed. I no longer thought he was obnoxious and brutish, I thought he was kind of…wonderful. In a completely platonic way of course. Well, as platonic as two people who’re sleeping together can be. *** The foyer of the town home was exquisite and huge, but it was the woman who came bustling over to us, thin and tall, her hair in a tight bun and her clothes stylish and perfectly suited to her figure, that drew my attention. She glowed with energy and personality, and she had Cody’s eyes and hair and, oh, wow, she had his smile. “It’s the pretenders,” she said. “Come in, come in.” She kissed Cody’s cheek and then wrapped me up all tight in a warm hug. “I’ll take you two right up to your room.” “Um, room?” I asked. Cody shot me a glare, but I ignored him. “We’re not a couple in any way, shape, or form.” “Oh, I know that,” Mrs. Reynolds said with an expression that suggested she knew no such thing and a twinkle in her eyes. “But this is a fourbedroom house and every one of those rooms is
filled to capacity. You should consider yourself lucky I decided to squish May in with her sisters.” “I guess we’ll be staying in my old room,” Cody said, but his eyes were on me. “Of course, dear.” She looked at me. “It’s the smallest bedroom, but it’s quite cozy. I’m sure you two won’t have any problem working it out.” I didn’t know Cody’s mother, but her eyes and the wicked twinkle in them were familiar enough that I was very nearly certain she was up to something. The obvious ploy would be that she was trying to push us closer together, but she didn’t even know me and I couldn’t imagine that was her motive. “Where are the others?” Cody asked. Mrs. Reynolds’ smile got bigger and I began to see that she had more in common with her son than just her eyes and hair. “They’re here, of course, all out on the back patio, roasting marshmallows and drinking too much.” “They’re all here?” “They heard you were in town and made sure to get over here for the weekend. We’ve all missed your face.” “Huh,” Cody said, the word more a grunt than an intelligible word. “We’ll put our stuff in our room and head out to the patio, then.” His mother pursed her lips and shook her head, but she linked her elbow through mine and started toward a grand sweeping staircase. “This way,
children. How was your drive?” Cody was silent behind us, a brooding energy radiating from him, and Mrs. Reynolds’ eyes were on me. “It was fine,” I said. “We didn’t hit much traffic until we got close to Atlanta.” “Luckily, you were late enough to miss the rush hour quagmire. My son didn’t cause you any annoyance on the trip, did he? He’s always been an impatient traveler.” “Not too much.” Mrs. Reynolds’ tone was light and teasing, so I answered her in kind. “He forced me to read to him to keep him amused.” She shot a mock shocked look over our shoulders at her son. “You poor dear. He really is a terrible brute, isn’t he?” “The worst. At least he let me choose the book.” “I should think so.” She stopped in front of a large, wood door. “I can assure you that you will be expected to do nothing but relax while you’re here. Consider this a vacation and don’t worry about impressing any of us or gaining our approval. Cody has always done his own thing, whether the rest of us approved or not, so it will make no difference to him if I like you.” “Um, okay,” I said, not at all sure how to take her words. “Mother, stop teasing her,” Cody said. “You still delight in tormenting people, I see.”
His mother sniffed and released me. “I’m not teasing,” she said. “I’m completely serious. She’s the first woman you’ve ever brought home and, real or not, I’m not about to do anything to scare her off. Now, here’s your room.” She opened the door to a small room painted a god-awful color of teal, with a queen bed that took up most of the floor space. There were no posters on the walls or knick-knacks on the furniture. A functional, plain room. “He picked the color and I made the mistake of allowing it on the walls.” She shuddered. “Unfortunately, the bathroom is down the hall and not attached. I hope you can manage.” Cody chuckled behind me and smacked a kiss on his mother’s cheek. “I’ve missed you.” She sniffed and backed away. “If you’d missed me, you would have been to visit once in the last five years. I’ll see you both downstairs. There’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.” “Thank you,” I said. She left and Cody gave me a nudge forward. I’d been wrong, there was one picture on the walls, right next to the door. I stepped over to a close-up of a squirrel holding a nut, its dark eyes big and staring out at me. “Strange choice of picture, is there a reason for it?” Cody dropped our bags on the floor next to the bed and came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my
shoulder. “May took that picture when she was just a kid. She’s always been naturally gifted at whatever she does and she’s always loved photography.” “And being outside,” I guessed. He pressed a warm kiss to the side of my neck and slid his hands under my shirt, cupping my breasts through my bra. “Uh-huh.” He pushed down the cups of my bra and flicked my nipples. I groaned, heat pooling between my legs. “Your family will be waiting for us downstairs.” “I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you for the past four hours. And I’m the lord of this manor, your employer, and the only thing standing between employment and a life on the streets. You will bend to my will, or I will have to fire you.” He slid his left hand under the waist band of my pants and into my panties, touching me in that way he’d already figured out drove me out of my mind. I moaned. “I suppose I have no choice, then. But make it quick, we have guests arriving in fifteen minutes for a banquet, and I must be there to help set up.” He chuckled, his breath warm against my nape. “Oh, I can be quick. Can you?” I spun in his arms and kissed him, melting into him and letting him fill my senses. Everything he did to me felt so good and, even though my
rational, cautious brain said this was a mistake and a dangerous game, my primal, animal brain and my body didn’t care enough to stop. I pulled back a bit. “You know what I’ve been thinking of since you mentioned road head?” “No,” he said, his eyes on my lips. “I’ve been thinking about tasting you and sucking you, but I want you to be in control this time. I want you to be that alpha jerk that I find so annoying. The controlling, domineering lord of the manor.” His lips turned up in a wicked smile. “I think this is about more than role play to keep me at a distance, you’re really into this game, aren’t you?” I’d never liked games or anything out of the ordinary before, but I liked it with Cody. In my normal, everyday life, I was careful and responsible, always taking care of everyone else. As much as I’d enjoyed being in charge, it seemed like the opposite would also be fun, freeing in a very weird way. “It’s not a game.” I leaned forward and nipped his lower lip. “It’s very, very serious.” His expression sobered. “You’ve been tormenting me with your voice and my unfulfilled demands for road head and now you’re going to have to make it up to me.” His voice was a firm rumble that touched me in all the right places and made my body act of its own accord, sliding up closer to his and rubbing
against him, feeling him thick and hard and ready. “Just tell me how.” He pushed me back a bit and studied me, his eyes burning a trail of lust from my head to my toes. “Take off your shirt and your bra,” he said, his voice husky and commanding. I pulled my shirt over my head, unhooked my bra and let it fall to the floor. His eyes dropped to my breasts and he licked his lips. “Get on your knees and take me out.” I dropped to my knees, my whole body vibrating with need and want. I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and pushed them down to his knees. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor behind him. “Now put your mouth on me.” I took him, warm and hard, into my mouth, the salty taste of him ramping up my desire even more. He wrapped his hand in my hair, gripped my head hard, and pulled me off him. “I’m going to move your head the way that feels good to me and I’m going to tell you exactly what I want. Are you okay with that?” I was shocked by how okay I was by that. “Yes.” He swallowed hard and licked his lips. “If I do anything you don’t like, you slap my thigh, okay?” I nodded, unable to speak. I wanted this so badly my whole body thrummed with it.
He tightened his grip on my head. “Then open that sexy mouth and let me in.” I opened my mouth and he pushed me onto him with a force that didn’t hurt, but thrilled me. He pushed deep into my throat and I sucked and pulled as much as I could with my mouth. “Oh, fuck, baby, that feels so good.” He went a little wild then, pushing me past the limits of what I thought I was capable of and getting his pleasure from me the way that felt best to him. He groaned and his fist in my hair tightened to an almost painful level. He was rough, but never too rough. He took me to the edge of discomfort, but never over. The sounds he made, the way he responded to my tongue and my mouth made me ache and moan against him. “I’m close, baby,” he said. “Slap me if you don’t want me to come in your mouth.” I didn’t slap him. He roared with his release, and I tasted him on my tongue. When he let me go, I dropped back onto my heels, all the blood in my body throbbing in my center with need and want. He pulled up his pants and grabbed me under my arms, lifting me to my feet. He shoved a hand down my pants, almost roughly, and I gasped from the pleasure of his touch. “So wet,” he said, awe in his tone. “Did that turn you on?” “So much.” “You want me to make you come?”
“Please.” He pulled his hand out and slowly licked his fingers while I watched, my body pulsing with need. “I’m not sure you’ve earned that reward, yet.” “What?” Annoyance was beginning to seep through my lust haze. He grabbed my neck and pulled me close, his lips bare millimeters from mine. “You want me to have control in the bedroom, you have to let me have it all. You come when I say you come or you don’t come at all. You have to earn your pleasure.” I should have been pissed. If he’d been holding back on me in any other arena, I would have been pissed and I would have let him know it. But something about his commanding tone and his willingness to take charge turned me on. I was seriously twisted in ways I’d never imagined. “Have you played this sort of game before?” “Never,” he said, his grip on my neck tightening. “But it blew my mind when you were in control. Me being in control? I think it could quickly become an addiction. Are you in or are you out?” “I’m in.” There was no other option. I was completely in. “But this doesn’t extend past the bedroom. If you try to control other aspects of my life or hold something I’ve done against me, I’m going to end the game.”
He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his crotch. He was already hard again and straining against the fly of his jeans. “I’m enjoying this far too much to risk ending it. I’ll agree to your terms.” I smiled, something heavy in my chest lifting and lightening. A burden I didn’t even realize I was carrying shifting and being lifted by him. “Then let’s go down and meet your family.” He released me so suddenly, I almost fell over. He turned his back on me and started reciting the multiplication tables. I laughed at his sudden change in demeanor. “What are you doing?” “Trying to get in the right frame of mind for seeing my family,” he said. “You should put your shirt back on.” “Yes, sir.” I couldn’t resist teasing him. “Not helping,” he said on a groan. “Although save that for later. I think I like it.” I laughed and dressed. He continued to recite multiplication tables until he was ready to head downstairs. He led me down the stairs and toward the back of the house into a large room with books on floorto-ceiling shelves and no one outside. “Do you want to get something to eat before we go out there?” I released his hand and walked to the nearest bookcase, reading the titles of the books lining the shelves. “I’m not hungry, but I wouldn’t mind
spending a day or two here.” “We can spend all day in here tomorrow if you want, but for now we should find my brothers and sisters before they get too drunk.” That gave me pause and I spun to face him. “Drunk?” “We tend to drink when we’re all together.” He shrugged. “It’s just what we do.” “Huh,” I said. “Then let’s go.” We walked past a study and an enormous guest bathroom before we reached the back door. We stepped out onto a slate patio to the sound of raucous laughter. “Shit,” he said. “We’re too late.” A fire blazed in the center of a group of people, all of them seated in wrought iron chairs. A woman, short and thin and wearing a flowing sun dress stood and walked over to us. “Thank goodness you’re finally here, Cody,” the woman said. Her hand on his arm made me irrationally jealous. Which was stupid, since she was likely one of his sisters. Cody bent forward and kissed her cheek. “It’s good to see you, Aubrey.” Aubrey, his brother Noah’s assistant and not one of his sisters. Jealousy flared brighter. “You know it’s not normal for families to drink to excess every time they’re re-united, right?” “Actually,” Cody said. “I think it’s probably more normal than you realize. Aubrey, this is my
friend, Carrie Harrison.” The fire was behind Aubrey, so I couldn’t see her facial expression, but I could see her bounce onto her toes. “The fake fiancée,” she said. She stuck out her hand and I shook it. “I’m so glad to have another non-family member to keep me sane. Come on, I’ll introduce you and then we can psychoanalyze them while they drink themselves stupid.” My irrational jealousy was eased by Aubrey’s words. “Sounds like my favorite way to spend an evening.” Aubrey introduced me around and Cody’s siblings all said hello very politely, but they were distracted by Cody’s presence and enveloped him in hugs and questions. Aubrey pulled me away from the circle to the edge of the patio. From that viewpoint, we could see the lights of the city blocking out the stars. “I don’t mean to be pushy,” she said. “But I’ve found that the best way to understand the Reynolds clan is to observe them from a distance, especially when they’ve been drinking. It is immensely revealing. If you’d rather stand next to your man, feel free.” She spoke with a frankness and a sincerity that made me feel immediately at ease with her. I liked her and could imagine her becoming a friend if Cody and I were a real couple. “He’s not my man. He’s my pretend fiancé, and I’m quite happy to
watch him from a distance.” Cody chose that moment to seek me out, he shot me a warm smile and returned to the conversation he was having with one of his sisters. “Doesn’t look so fake from where I’m standing,” she said. “Can I get you anything to drink?” “No, thank you. I’m still hung over from the last time I got drunk.” Aubrey laughed. “You are much wiser than me my friend.” She put her glass to her lips and took a long swallow. “Drinking is the only way I’ve found to survive all the time I’ve been forced to spend with Noah.” “Is he that difficult?” She gave me a sad smile, the firelight flickering prettily over her sharp, angular features, her bright eyes flashing. “Quite the opposite, I’m afraid,” she said. “But he doesn’t see me. I’m just one of the guys to him.” “How can you be sure? If you haven’t told him how you feel, maybe he’s secretly harboring feelings for you.” She sighed. “I gave him the test and he didn’t even notice.” “The test?” She looked at me, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I don’t often share my tricks with strangers, but I’m more than a little tipsy and it’s nice to have a
non-Reynolds to speak to, so I’m going to tell you something you must never reveal to anyone.” “I promise.” I was beginning to suspect this woman was crazy, but her friendliness and likability made it a tolerable crazy. “I had…A bad experience when I was younger and it made me wary of men. I could have hidden away and cowered like a scared little rabbit, but I created a system of tests and tricks to be sure I understood the men I came into contact with and their intentions. Men are generally very simple and very easy to read, but Noah is better than most at keeping his feelings hidden. I know he’s kind and generous, loyal to his family and his family’s business, but I didn’t know for sure how he felt about me. I’ve had to resort to more elaborate games to figure out what secrets lurked in the recesses of his mind.” This woman should write a book. “You should write a book,” I said. “You’d make millions.” She smiled. “I’m not so sure. I think most people prefer the mystery. The truth is rarely pretty or palatable. I’ve never been afraid of the truth. The truth makes me feel safe.” “What was this test of yours?” “Noah has destroyed every one of my theories, so I had to create a new test for him. It’s called the compassion test.” “Okay.”
“I’m not an emotional person and Noah knows me better than I’ve ever let anyone know me. He’s never seen me cry or be more than the efficient and capable assistant and friend he expects me to be. Since we’ve started living together, though, I’ve had the opportunity to do more. I waited until I knew he’d be home and I dropped onto the couch and sobbed.” “Impressive.” I was no actress, I could never pull that off. She shrugged. “He walked in, saw me crying, and stayed on his side of the room. He asked what was wrong and what he could do.” “That was nice of him.” She shook her head. “No. What he was really asking was how soon he could get back to his day and his friend could get back to normal. A man who really cared would have held me while I cried, would have been sad that I was sad.” “Cody punched my nephew for making me cry.” She grinned and bounced a bit. “I told you he’s crazy about you. He doesn’t just care for you, he feels empathy for you, he wants to hurt what’s making you hurt.” “We weren’t even…That was before the fake fiancé stuff. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even like me.” “What he did proves he likes you, even if he
didn’t admit it to himself. Noah didn’t do any of that. My tears were a nuisance, not something that bothered him on a compassionate or empathetic level.” “Maybe tears make him uncomfortable, and he didn’t know how to react.” She pointed a slim, well-manicured finger at me. “I had the same thought. So I upped the ante. I told him I was crying because my heart was broken by my stupid boyfriend, who I’d caught in bed with another woman.” “What did he do?” “He told me I was better off without the idiot and went back to his office to work, just like he does every single day.” “Wow. I thought you said he’s your best friend. Even a good friend would do more than that.” She looked at Noah who was smiling at a story May was telling. “He had my favorite sushi delivered. Our relationship has never been one of effusive emotion. He’s a reserved man. Just watch him.” So, I watched. I watched the siblings talk and laugh and tease each other and Aubrey was right, a very definite dynamic did reveal itself. Noah, the tall, lean, dark-haired one with glasses and a firm, harsh stroke of a mouth on an otherwise handsome face, held himself back from the others, not quite aloof, but more watchful, offering input only when
asked. The next oldest, Jill, had a sad look in her eyes, but she smiled fondly at her family. She was the shortest of the Reynolds siblings, probably about my height, and the only one with blond hair and pale skin. She seemed to be the one the others looked to for approval or advice, even though she was their sister. There was just something innately maternal about her. Jenna, the college professor, was calm and cool like her older siblings, but that seemed more her nature than a purposeful restraint. She had to be five-ten and was rail-thin, with thick, dark hair that fell midway down her back. Her eyes danced with constant amusement and she was the first to laugh when anyone made a joke. Her own jokes fell flat, but she found herself infinitely amusing. Next was Cody and he acted differently than I’d ever seen him before. He was a goofball, making the others laugh with tales of his failures and faults. The others played along and wondered how he survived from day to day with a sincere astonishment that pissed me off. How did they not see how bright and capable he was? I might not have seen him go to a job every day, but I’d seen him doing research and making plans for his vineyards, cooking a good meal every night, doing repairs around the house even though it was just a rental, and chatting with the neighbors like they were family. Jared didn’t stop smiling the whole night.
Aubrey told me he loved having his family together. He was just shy of Cody’s height and could have been his twin, except for the extra laugh lines around Cody’s eyes. May was the youngest and she was a stunner in bright colors. Where the other girls in her family were model-thin, she was curvy and voluptuous, her thick brown hair framing a face that would have been at home on an angel, even as the devil sparkled in her brown eyes. The others seemed to cater to her every whim, telling her at turns how capable and smart she was and how lucky she was to have her curves and good fashion sense. As Aubrey had said, everyone had their box and some of Cody’s words, about being a fuck-up, made more sense. He hadn’t just blown one big deal, he’d been treated as a goofball and a ne’erdo-well by his family for a long time. My own observations were augmented by stories Aubrey told me about all the kids. According to her, Noah was the most astute and reliable, Jill was the hardest worker, Jenna was the smartest, Jared had the biggest heart and a love of animals that exceeded his love of people, and May had made a career of never settling on a career and avoiding failure and negativity all together. Of Cody, she said that his goofball routine was something she suspected he’d started as a kid to distract the others from their parents’ fights and their financial struggles. A coping mechanism he’d
wrongly accepted as a truth about himself. Shortly after we joined the group on the patio, the matriarch of the family emerged. She sat next to Noah and teased her family with love and understanding. She argued that Cody wasn’t a goofball and May was capable of great things. She suggested Noah needed to loosen up and Jill needed to stop hiding from life. She told Jenna she should stop turning down every date offered and Jared that being a good person meant sometimes you couldn’t save everyone. She glowed in the center of her family’s love and affection. Cody waved me over and I went, aiming for the vacant chair next to him. He grabbed my waist before I got there and pulled me onto his lap, his arms tight around me. The conversation around us stilled and Mrs. Reynolds’ eyebrows went high. “I thought this relationship was pretend?” Cody froze beneath me and his arms loosened. He forced a laugh. “I guess we’ve just gotten so used to pretending, that I’d forgotten we don’t have to do that here.” I stood and moved to the seat next to him. He drained his beer in two swallows and stood. “I’m getting another, anyone else want one?” “I think you’ve all had enough,” Mrs. Reynolds said. “I will honestly never understand why this is the tradition that stuck with you six.” “Because we get along so much better when
we’re less sober,” Cody said. He raised the bottle high. “Anyone else?” Three hands went up. Cody swayed on his feet as he pointed at each and turned to make the ten step walk to the cooler. “So, Carrie,” Jared said, his smile firmly in place. “How’d you have the bad luck of getting pulled into one of Code Red’s messes?” He might be smiling, but his tone was a bit snide and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like that Cody’s own family seemed to have fun at his expense. “Actually,” I said. “It was the other way around. I got into a mess and Cody helped me out.” Cody passed the beers out and sat next to me. “It was a matter of mutual messes amazingly welltimed to correspond,” Cody said. “And the only reason we’re still pretending is because I’m trying to demonstrate how invested I am in the town to convince Bart Gregory to sell me his property.” “You never did learn how to negotiate a deal the normal way, did you?” Noah asked, his tone teasing. “You two must be incredibly well-suited with your matching messes,” Jenna said. Cody frowned and his fist tightened on his beer bottle. “Carrie is nothing like me. She’s a wonderful teacher and well-respected in the town. She has a history of successes, not a history of fuck-ups.” “Cody,” Jill said. “We’re all just teasing. You
know we think you’re brilliant and talented. You can coax a grape crop from dust.” I was almost certain Cody didn’t know they were just teasing and, judging by the expression on his face, he didn’t believe a word Jill said. “You kids have always been too harsh with each other,” Mrs. Reynolds said. “You take after your father that way, and I didn’t step in as often as I should have. But I say enough is enough. Family is supposed to support one another.” Cody drained his beer while she spoke and stood. This time he didn’t ask anyone else if they wanted one, he just went to the cooler and got another. I didn’t have a big family, but it didn’t seem right that they needed to drink like this to be around one another. Although, everyone else seemed relatively sober compared to Cody. “We support each other,” Jill said. “But teasing is how we show love.” Mrs. Reynolds sighed. “I know. Just be careful not to take it too far. Don’t get personal.” “If we have to be nice to each other,” May said. “Let’s play truth or dare.” “And that’s my cue to leave.” Mrs. Reynolds stood, kissed each of us, even me, good night, and headed inside. “We’re too old to play truth or dare,” Noah said. “I was too old for it when I was ten.” May rolled her eyes. “Yes, we all know you
matured well before your time. It’s why you’re the pride of the family and the rest of us can never live up to the bar you set.” “I’ve never played truth or dare,” I said. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me like they were shocked I’d spoken. “I’ve always wanted to try it.” “Great.” May bounced in her seat and clapped her hands. “I’ll start with you.” “Go easy on her,” Cody said. I bumped his elbow with my own. “I can handle whatever you throw at me, May.” She squealed. “Okay, truth or dare?” “Truth.” I was brave, but I wasn’t picking dare until I’d seen what sorts of dares they invented. “Damn it,” Cody said in what I think he meant to be a whisper, but which came out loud enough that everyone could hear. “You never choose truth when it’s May doing the asking.” “You shut it, idiot maximus,” May said. She narrowed her eyes and looked me up and down. “What’s your favorite thing about my brother?” I considered her question, pretty sure I’d gotten off easy. “Other than his willingness to help me out when I needed a fake fiancé?” I asked, giving myself more time. I wanted to be honest, but I was also more than a little annoyed with his family’s negative opinion of him, and I wanted to
give them something to think about. “I like the way he’s been there for me, even though he’s got his own priorities and his own plans. He watches out for me and he’s kind to all our neighbors, no matter how nosy they get. He can cheer me up, even when I think I’ll never smile again. And he’s an amazing cook and happy to share the food he makes.” I smiled. “The food is probably my absolute favorite.” “The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach,” Jared said with a laugh. May smiled, her eyes twinkling with mischief, and I was sure I’d missed something. I turned to Cody, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at his hands, rolling his empty beer bottle between them. “Okay,” May said. “It’s your turn, Carrie.” I wasn’t at all prepared, but I looked around the circle and considered my options. Cody was still staring at his hands, so I chose the person I knew second best. “Aubrey,” I said. “Truth or dare?” “Dare,” Aubrey said, her chin high, her eyes everywhere but on Noah. “Okay. I dare you to demonstrate a hidden talent that no one here is aware of.” “Oooh,” May said. “Good one.” Aubrey leaned back in her seat and considered. “Well,” she said at last. “I have a talent, but I’m not exactly dressed for it.” She
gestured to her long, flowing dress. “Play one without me while I change.” “That won’t work,” May said. “You’re next.” Aubrey sat back down. “Okay. Cody, truth or dare?” Cody lifted his head. His eyes were glazed and heavy lidded and it took him several long seconds to focus on Aubrey. “I’m pretty sure I can’t get out of my seat. Truth it is.” “What’s your favorite thing about Carrie?” Cody turned to me and his expression softened, a small smile lifting his lips. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, his expression going distant and cold. “Her tits.” He turned back to Aubrey. “She has fantastic tits.” His words hit me like a slap and everyone got quiet, not that they’d all been chatting, but it got so quiet it almost seemed that everyone had stopped breathing. I should have been relieved that his favorite thing about me was physical. That’s what I wanted - a strictly physical relationship. My reaction made me realize I’d broken my own rule. I straightened my spine and pushed down the hurt. I had to keep it light and physical between us or I had to end it. There were no other options with him. I might believe that he was better than his siblings thought he was, but I knew he wasn’t what I was looking for, wasn’t the right guy to be my future. “I’ve always been quite proud of them,” I
said, my smile wide and my tone as light as I could make it. “A good attribute to have when fabricating an engagement.” I was stretching there, but it was the best I could come up with on short notice. Cody looked at me, something like apology in his eyes. “It’s your turn, Cody.” Cody dared Jared to imitate his favorite animal, a hamster, and then Aubrey was back, in pajamas pants and a sweatshirt. She demonstrated her ability to walk on her hands. This led to most of the siblings testing their own ability to walk on their hands. None of them managed anything as impressive as Aubrey’s feat. The game continued, but it wasn’t as much fun as I’d thought it would be. When Cody dropped an empty beer bottle that shattered on the pavement, I cleaned it up and then I dragged him upstairs to our room. He spun on me once the door was closed behind us, falling on me in a very un-sexy way and knocking me onto the bed. “I’m sorry,” he said, his words slurring a bit. “It was a shitty thing to say.” I didn’t meet his eyes, but glared at the ceiling above his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Your boobs aren’t my favorite thing about you. It’s your heart, the way you care about everyone and want to take care of them. I just couldn’t say that in front of them, because they’d read into it and then, when we split up, it would
become another fuck-up in a very long list.” The hurt in my chest eased, even though I knew it was safer to be angry with him. “It’s okay. This is just physical.” He pressed a warm kiss to my neck and my pulse sped up. “We can still be friends, though,” he said. “And like things about each other.” “Sure.” Though liking things about him seemed dangerous when his hands on my ass made me want to wrap myself around him and not let go for several days. “I mean it,” he said. “It was a shitty thing to say. Let me make it up to you.” I laughed. “You’re wasted. Why don’t we go to bed and finish this conversation in the morning?” “No. I fuck up everything. I want to fix this. Let me fix this.” I was tired and I really didn’t have high expectations for his drunken prowess, but I was finding it difficult to say no to him. “Make it up to me in the morning.” “No. I want you now.” He straightened, seeming to sober up in an instant. “Take your clothes off and get on the bed.” His voice took on a commanding tone that made me shiver with want. I slid off my clothes and went to the bed. I pulled back the bedspread and sheets and sat. Cody knelt at my feet and pushed me back. “Lay down.” I lay back and he lowered his face between my
legs, he dragged his tongue over me in one long, slow stroke that had me moaning and gripping the sheets tight. He stopped moving, his head heavy on my thigh, his breath a teasing rhythm against my throbbing clit. “Cody,” I breathed. “Don’t tease me, please.” He didn’t respond or move. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down at him. His eyes were closed. I bounced my leg. “Cody wake up.” He didn’t budge. I laughed and slid my leg out from under him. I lowered his head gently to the bed. I dressed in the nightshirt I’d brought to sleep in and set about trying to move him into bed. I got his shoes and belt off, but he was a big guy and I had no luck lifting him onto the bed. I tried again to wake him, but he was out cold. He was sitting up, his head against the bed and he didn’t look uncomfortable. As drunk as he was, it was probably better if he slept sitting up, anyway. I covered him with a throw blanket from the end of the bed and crawled under the covers. I woke the next morning to sunlight and soft kisses on the back of my neck. A warm arm lay over my waist. “I’m sorry,” Cody said. “For what?” I was almost certain he didn’t remember what had happened. “Um, whatever got me kicked out of your bed.” I twisted in his arms until I faced him. “I didn’t
kick you out of bed. You fell asleep there midcunnilingus.” His eyes widened and then closed to bare slits, pain wrinkling his forehead. “Not feeling so good?” “Like I was run over by a truck, kicked by a horse, and dragged through the mud.” He shuddered. “I’m getting too old for this.” “Why do you do it?” “I don’t believe you,” he said. “I’ve never fallen asleep in the middle of any kind of sex and I’m positive I wouldn’t fall asleep with your beautiful body spread before me.” “Well, then you’d be positively wrong. What is it about your family that drives you to drink?” He shrugged. “I don’t honestly know. My father was a social drinker and he made a big deal of drinking with us when we were of age. It just became the thing we did when we all got together. It might be time to drop the habit.” I reached up and smoothed the wrinkle between his brows. “I’m going to get you some water and a couple aspirin. If I’m not back in fifteen minutes, it’s because I got lost on the way to the kitchen.” “There’s a bottle of water and a bottle of aspirin in my bag.” I got him what he needed and left him to recover alone while I showered.
CHAPTER TEN Cody “Feeling any better?” Carrie asked, stepping back into the room we shared. My head ached and my throat was sore, but the sight of her, in a cheery, yellow sun dress, her hair still damp, and not a bit of make-up on her face, eased something tight in my chest. “If I had the strength,” I said. “I’d demand you undress and get back in that shower, so I can show you my favorite thing to do there.” Just the idea, the image of her smooth skin beaded with water and her naked body displayed for me, made me hard in a place I thought wouldn’t be hard for another six hours or so. “You’ll feel better if you take a shower,” she said, her face pinched in concern. I couldn’t fathom why she’d feel anything but anger and distaste for me after the way I’d treated her. I’d told my family my favorite thing about her was her boobs and then I’d fallen asleep before she’d gotten a moment’s pleasure. At least I thought she hadn’t. “Did you come?” “What?” she sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Before I fell asleep,” I asked. “Did you come?” She laughed. “Nope. One taste and you were out.” “I’m a moron. I’ll make it up to you.” She kissed my forehead and smiled, looking so beautiful that my breath caught in my throat. “I know you will. But right now, you need to get in the shower, because your family is at breakfast and, unless you want them to know we aren’t entirely platonic, we should go down.” “Down is exactly where I’m going to go.” I sat up and my head spun and pain lanced through it. “Later. Down is where I’m going to go later.” She laughed and stood. “I’ll see you downstairs.” “You’re facing that crew alone?” I didn’t want to face them alone. In fact, I was quite glad I’d have Carrie by my side. “Yep. Aubrey and I are great friends and she’ll love the story about what happened to you last night.” “You can’t tell her. My family can’t know we’re sleeping together. It’ll give them ideas.” Her expression turned inexplicably sad. “I know, Cody. But Aubrey won’t tell anyone, she’s got her own secrets.” I didn’t want to know Aubrey’s secrets. My own secrets were all I could handle. “I’ll take a
quick shower.” She left and I dragged my sorry ass out of bed. I needed to get my shit together. I was better than this and, if I wanted to prove to my family that I’d changed and was on a good path, I needed to stop acting like the idiot loser they’d always known me to be. I showered and dressed and was about to head downstairs when a brisk knock at the door stopped me. I opened the door to find Noah on the other side. “Hey, douche nozzle,” he said. He pushed his way into the room and looked around, his gaze lingering on the single bed with the rumpled sheets. “You did a good job of getting completely soused last night.” I smirked at my older brother. He’d always been the perfect son I’d by turns resented and strived to be like. “It’s what we do, right?” He shrugged. “I guess so. I like Carrie. She’s gorgeous and sweet and she tolerates your obnoxious ass, which means she’s a saint.” My headache increased and my hands curled into fists. Noah had a habit of always getting everything he wanted and women were no different. He was as much a womanizer as I’d ever been, he was just more discreet about it. I didn’t want him to decide he wanted Carrie. “She’s not your type.” Noah turned to me, eyebrows high. “Is that
jealousy I hear in your voice? I never thought I’d see the day you were jealous of anyone.” “I’m not jealous.” The burn in my chest was heartburn from my hangover, not jealousy. “I’m pragmatically telling you she’s not your type.” Noah sat on the end of my bed, settling in for a long discussion. “She’s not your type either, brother. In fact, you told us all last night that her boobs are your favorite quality.” I winced. “Can you get to the point? I need to put some food on this hangover.” “She seems like a nice person and she not only tolerates you, she actually seems to like you. Don’t fuck up by expecting to fuck up.” I rubbed my temples. “Truly your logic is dizzying. Can you repeat that in English?” He slapped his thighs and stood. “Nope. You’re smart, you figure it out.” I didn’t need to figure it out, I got it, I just didn’t buy it. I wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship and Carrie needed a solid guy, a guy as good as she was. I ignored the twinge in my gut that suggested she might be better off without me, but I wouldn’t be better off without her. He slapped my shoulder as he passed. “We’ve all made mistakes, brother. Don’t let your past be your excuse for not going after what you want.” I snorted. “Perfect Noah has never made any mistakes.”
His gaze clouded and he frowned, a heavy sadness taking over his features. “Believe me, I’ve made mistakes.” He walked out, leaving me wondering what he could have possibly done that put that sad look on his face. I found Carrie downstairs, her head bowed over something with Jenna. I got closer and saw that there was a Kindle resting between them. “What are you two up to?” “Jenna has the complete juvenilia of the Bronte sisters and she’s showing me her favorite bits.” I stared for a long moment and then shook my head. “I’m going to get my breakfast and pretend I understood what you just said.” “It’s the stories, poems, and plays they wrote when they were kids,” Jenna said. “They lived in such a rich imaginary world.” “Hmm, sounds fascinating.” They ignored me and got back to whatever it was they were reading. I walked over to the buffet table where my mother had laid out croissants and bagels. At the end of the table was a big bowl of fruit. “Good morning dear.” My mother walked over and kissed my cheek, just as I’d finished filling my plate. “I’ll cook a big breakfast with all your favorites tomorrow.”
“I’ve missed your big breakfasts.” “That’s your own fault.” I sat at the large table in the center of the room and my mother took the seat next to me. “Your fake fiancée is lovely.” I groaned. “Not you, too.” “What?” Her expression was all innocence. “What have I done now?” It occurred to me that she might not be on the verge of telling me I ought to make Carrie my real fiancée and I didn’t want to give her any ideas. “You’re trying to have a conversation with me while my brain is still at the bottom of a bottle.” “Again, that’s your own fault. Carrie didn’t drink at all, I hope she’ll be a good influence on you.” I put my fork down, my appetite fading. “She doesn’t need to be a good influence on me. I’m perfectly capable of being a good influence on myself.” My mother gave me a sad smile. “I know you are, dear. I just worry that your goals are a bit skewed.” Carrie sat down next to me, relieving me from the pain of whatever wisdom my mother was about to share. My mother smiled at her warmly. “Did you get enough to eat, Carrie?” “Yes,” she said, matching my mother’s warmth. “It was all so delicious.”
“I’m glad. I don’t know what your plans are for the rest of the day, but there’s a lovely little park just across the street and they rent canoes to take out on the lake.” “I’m going to take Carrie sightseeing,” I said. “She’s never been to Atlanta before.” My mother’s smile broadened. “That will be lovely.” *** “We moved to the city when I was fourteen,” I told Carrie, once we were back in my truck and headed toward downtown. “Our place in the woods was about an hour from the city. it was a hard adjustment for me to make, from the country to the city.” She watched the streets flash by as we drove into the outskirts of the city. “Whereabouts did you live?” “In my father’s first hotel, in the center of downtown. Noah was out on his own and Jill had just started college, but Jenna, at sixteen, loved being in the middle of everything. She’s always been outgoing and social and it didn’t take her long to have a group of friends who ran around the city like they owned it.” “And you?” she asked. “I was only fourteen and I couldn’t drive. I
could walk to just every shop or restaurant I might want, but I spent most of my time at a park not too far from the hotel. I wasn’t as easygoing as Jenna and Jared, and I got in more fights than I made new friends.” “I can’t imagine.” I glanced at her and saw a smile tickling her lips. “You’re not abrasive in the least.” I laughed and hopped off the interstate and onto a downtown street that would take us past some beautiful Atlanta buildings. “Where do you want to go? Do you want to see Margaret Mitchell’s house? The Martin Luther King Jr historic site? The zoo? Little Five Points?” “I want to see it all,” she said. “Is that possible? I’ve just never really been anywhere and I…I want to see everything I can.” I glanced over to see her looking at me, her eyes bright, her smile wide. Beautiful. Her excitement was contagious and I couldn’t help my smile. “It’s already after ten, Carrie. You have to pick just one for today. But we can come back. As many times as it takes, until we’ve seen it all.” “Right.” Her tone had lost some of its happy vibrancy and her smile had faded. I realized then what I’d said. I’d spoken like we had a lifetime together, not just three more weekends. “I guess I was being unrealistic,” she said. “What’s your favorite place?”
If I was being honest, I would pick one of the parks, but Carrie could see all the nature she wanted in Catalpa Creek. So, I considered what would be best for her, and I lied. “My favorite is the zoo. And you should definitely see the Martin Luther King Jr Historic site. We’ll have dinner in Little Five Points. If we go fast, we can do it all in one day.” “I’ve never been to a zoo before,” she said, her earlier enthusiasm back. We were already on the right end of the city for the zoo, so I made good time there. Carrie was excited about everything we saw. Even the birds fascinated her. Her love of animals and of learning was obvious in the way she read every educational plaque we passed. She didn’t linger, clearly conscious of our time restraints, but I saw the regret in her expression each time she turned away from another animal. She could have easily spent an entire day there, and I felt guilty, like I’d screwed up yet again by being too hungover to get out of the house earlier. She didn’t complain once, in fact she laced her fingers through mine and walked with me like we were a real couple. I’d never really dated and I’d often looked at couples at tourist sites with disdain and smugness. I’d loved the freedom of being single and figured the poor schmucks with a woman on their arm were probably counting the minutes until
they could get back to all the things they’d rather be doing. With Carrie, I hated the passing of the minutes that would end our day together, would end our relationship. I didn’t have a place in my life for a girlfriend or for weekends spent doing tourist things but, for the first time, I wished I did have more time to spend exploring new places with Carrie, showing her all the things she hadn’t seen before. We had lunch next to the giant pandas and took our time walking back through the zoo to the parking lot. We made the short drive to the Martin Luther King Jr. Historic Site. Carrie showed no less interest in this site than she had in the zoo and we took our time exploring the visitor center, the Baptist church where King had been reverend, the King center, the great man’s tomb, and the eternal flame. We walked down the street where he’d grown up and saw the house where he was born. We didn’t have time to schedule a tour of the inside of his home and again I wished for more time, because Carrie seemed fascinated with everything. We were really cutting it close, but we drove to midtown and got to the Margaret Mitchell house just in time to catch the last tour of the day. As we drove to Little Five Points, Carrie chattered happily about everything we’d seen. “This is such a beautiful city,” she said. “Would you rather live in a big city like this?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, considering. “I don’t think so. I’d love to visit, but Catalpa Creek is my home and I wouldn’t know what to do without the gossips and the busybodies. Life must be very boring without someone dissecting and sharing everything you do with the whole town.” “Boring isn’t the word I’d use. What are you in the mood to eat?” We ended up getting burgers at a locally owned place and then we walked the streets and explored until Carrie declared that she couldn’t take another step. I took her back to my mother’s home and we snuck up the steps to our room, too tired to face family. At least, I was too tired and Carrie didn’t try and force me to spend more time with my family. I closed the door and had her naked and spread out before me in quick order. I made up for falling asleep on her the night before, several times over, and I fell asleep with my arms wrapped around her. I didn’t think about how good she felt in my arms or how there was nowhere else I’d rather be, even with my family just down the hall. Our time together was a fun interlude, I reminded myself, but it didn’t mean anything. *** The next morning, I was awakened by a warm
mouth pressing kisses to my chest and neck and face. It was the best way I’d been woken up, maybe ever. I rolled toward the exploring mouth and wrapped my arms around Carrie, pulling her tight against me. My eyes popped open. Carrie was dressed and her hair was pinned back. “Why are you dressed?” I asked. “I don’t like you dressed.” She shivered against me. “Your mother has fixed a huge breakfast to see us off. It’ll be ready in twenty minutes.” I stretched and sat up. According to the clock next to the bed, it was after eight. I never slept that late, unless I was hungover, of course. “How long have you been up?” She glanced at the clock. “Two hours. I went for a run around the neighborhood. It’s lovely.” “You should have woken me.” I scrubbed a hand down my face and tried to wake up. “How are you so chipper? You couldn’t have gotten more than five hours of sleep.” She frowned and I noticed the dark circles under her eyes. “It doesn’t matter how late I go to bed, I always wake up early. It’s a curse.” “Another one?” I drew a finger along the neckline of her blouse. I unbuttoned the top and then the second and then the third buttons, my other hand tight on her waist. I just wanted a peek. I needed a peek, and maybe a taste, just enough to get me through the morning and the long drive back
to Catalpa Creek. I slid a hand inside her blouse and pushed her bra aside. I lowered my mouth and tasted and licked and loved her beautiful breast until she moaned. That moan made me want another moan. I unbuttoned two more buttons and paid equal attention to the other breast. “Breakfast,” Carrie said, her voice breathy. “Everyone will be waiting.” “I don’t need a shower. I can be ready in five minutes. That gives us fifteen. Think you can come for me in fifteen minutes?” “Uh-huh.” She softened and melted against me as I continued to work her breast with my hand. I loved the way she gave into me. She was in such control in every other aspect of her life, always put together and making the right choices. I loved that I could make her bad, make her hand the reins to me. She reached to undo the rest of the buttons on her blouse, but I stopped her. “Leave them,” I said. “This is a quickie between the…Um, the naked…” I was enjoying Carrie’s role-playing games more than I’d ever imagined I would. I had always been a fairly straight-forward lover, but I loved this game, loved the way it excited her, involving her mind and her body. The only problem was that when the blood left my brain and fled to my cock, I had a really hard time coming up with a story I thought she might like. “You’re a debauched rock star.” She pressed
her breast farther into my hand. “And I’m your manager. I’ve found you naked in bed when you’re supposed to be at an interview. You agree to go to the interview, but only if I let you…” “I’ll go to your interview, princess,” I said. She stood back, hands on her hips, trying to look stern. She’d never succeed as an actress, but I loved how she tried. “I’ll go to your interview, if you do something for me.” She glared at me. “Why should I do anything for you?” “Because I pay you to do things for me. Right now, I want you to slide your panties off from under that prim skirt you’re wearing.” “What?” She pretended confusion, but her voice was husky and needy. “You want to keep your job? You want to keep managing my career?” I bit down on the words as hard as I could, my own acting ability probably no better than hers. “You’re going to do exactly what I tell you, exactly when I tell you.” “I…I can’t lose this job.” Her voice trembled with want. “My elderly father is in treatment for a fatal disease and the medicine—” “Take off your panties.” I stood and stalked to her. Her eyes dropped to my cock and, if it hadn’t already been ready to go, it would have been then. She reached under her skirt, a fitted blue skirt. It fell to just above her knees and I watched as a red,
lacy thong dropped from under it and to the floor. I curled my hands into fists to keep from touching her. As much her role-playing got her going, me being dominant got me going. “Go to the door, press your hands against it, and bend at the waist.” She did as I said and I admired the view for a few moments, letting the anticipation build for both of us. I slid a small step stool over. “Stand on this.” She whimpered and my heart rate picked up. She loved being told what to do, giving up control, as much as I loved telling her what to do, as much as I loved being in control. If this wasn’t fake, I’d say she was perfect for me. She got into position. I lined myself up behind her, the height was perfect. I slid my hands under her skirt, caressing her smooth, soft skin and flipped her skirt up and over her back, exposing her completely to my view. My breath came in pants and it hurt to wait, it hurt not to grab her and thrust into her immediately. Even after the night before, I still wanted her so bad I ached with it. “You’re going to take everything I give you.” I gripped her hips hard and pulled her ass against me. She gasped. “Yes,” she said in a breathy voice. “I’ll do your interviews and publicity stunts and public events. I’ll be wherever you want me whenever you want me and you are going to do the same for me, only you’re going to take whatever I have to give you, whenever I tell you to take it.”
“Yes.” I couldn’t hold off any longer. I slid into her in one long, hard thrust and she pushed back against me, taking everything I had. I pumped into her hard and fast, listening to the sounds she made, sounds I’d become surprisingly well acquainted with after only a week of hearing them. I waited until I could tell she was close and then I touched her. I didn’t slow my pace as I rubbed and pinched. “And you’re going to come for me when I tell you to come.” “Yes, please.” “Come for me now.” She squeezed me tight with her inner walls and bit back a scream. I felt her pulse and shiver and explode and it drove me crazy. I loved what I could do to her. I came with a final hard thrust and bit my own lip to quiet my growl of possession. Because that’s what I felt. I owned her. She belonged to me. I slid out of her, disposed of the condom and dressed while she straightened her skirt and buttoned her shirt. She bent to reach for her panties. “Leave them. I want to know you aren’t wearing them. It will help me get through this miserable interview.” “The game is over,” she said, reaching for her panties again. “Leave the panties.” I couldn’t explain why it
was so important, but I wanted this from her. “Please.” The please did it, the please meant I wasn’t breaking our rules. I wasn’t telling her what to do outside the bedroom, I was asking. “At least let me pack them in my bag.” I let her and we walked down to breakfast, our fingers laced together. My entire family was already seated around the table, all eyes on us as we walked in together. Carrie’s cheeks reddened as though we’d been caught. “Morning all,” I said to the table. “I guess I overslept.” “Very unlike you,” May said with a suspicious glare. “I’m getting lazy in my old age.” I pulled out a chair for Carrie and took the empty seat next to her. I reached for her hand under the table and linked our fingers together again. I knew I was venturing into dangerous territory, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to touch her. She didn’t pull away. It made me feel better not to be swimming into shark infested waters alone. I caught May’s eye and she looked pointedly to where my hand disappeared beneath the table. I shrugged and picked up my fork to eat. “Cody,” my mother said. “Let me know when you think you’ll have the property. I’d like to take some time off and come up to help you get started.”
“I don’t need any help.” My tone was harsher than I’d intended. I guess I was a bit more defensive and touchy than I’d realized. “Aw, look, Cody is going through an independent phase,” Jared said. “Can you tie your shoes by yourself, too, buddy.” I ignored my brother, used to his smart mouth. Carrie’s grip on my hand tightened and I turned to see her glaring at Jared. I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand to soothe her and met my mother’s glare. “I’m sorry,” I said. “That came out more harshly than I’d intended. It’s not that I don’t want your help, but I want to do this on my own. I need to do this on my own.” “There’s no shame in asking for or accepting help,” my mother said. Her voice was soft, but there was real concern in her eyes. “Even your father didn’t buy his first hotel alone.” I assumed she meant that she’d helped him, his partner in everything. “I’ll let you know if I need anything.” I had no intention of needing anything, but she didn’t need to know that. “Mom,” Jenna said. “How old is this house?” Mom looked at Jenna, her eyes wide. “It’s just fifteen years old, dear. Why?” Jenna looked at me and winked before turning her attention back to our mother. “Has anyone ever complained of ghosts? Because I heard a lot of creaking and banging while I was trying to get to
sleep last night.” “No, Jenna,” Mom said, clearly reading that my sister was up to something. I stuffed another bite in my mouth and nudged Carrie to do the same. The sooner we finished eating, the sooner we could leave. “No one has complained about ghosts. Since your room is next door to Cody and Carrie’s on one side and Noah and Aubrey’s on the other, I assume you’re complaining about how noisy they were in a roundabout way.” “Oh,” Jenna said, finger to her chin like she was considering. I had a mouthful of food, or I might have interjected. Might have except that would give us away. “But I don’t think it could have been either of them, because I heard a lot of moaning and panting and—” “That’s enough, Jenna,” Noah said, giving himself away. I was glad I was chewing, otherwise my mouth might have dropped open. Aubrey turned a lovely shade of pink and stared at her plate like it held the answers to the biggest questions of the universe. “No one wants to hear about what you imagined you heard last night.” “I do,” Jared said, practically bouncing in his seat. “I want to hear.” “That’s enough,” Mom said. “I want to discuss something serious with you children and I want you to listen with open minds.” May caught my eye again and mouthed oh,
shit. “Is this about that man I saw you out at dinner with last week?” Jill asked, her mouth curled in a disapproving frown. Atlanta should have been a big enough city to hold all the Reynolds without them running into each other every other day, but that didn’t seem to be the case. I was once again grateful I lived in a different state. “Yes,” my mother said. She folded her hands on the table. “Jonas and I have been seeing each other for three weeks now and it’s serious enough that I wanted you kids to know.” “How serious can it be after only three weeks?” Noah asked. He looked angry, which surprised me. It had been five years since our father died and our mother had every right to date again. Mom shrugged, unfazed by Noah’s angry tone. “Serious enough that we’ve agreed to be exclusive. Serious enough that he’ll be here to have breakfast with us in just a few minutes.” Some families did Sunday dinners, ours did Sunday brunch. A big breakfast on Sunday had just always been part of our family tradition and it suited me. My mother’s blueberry pancakes were the best I’d ever had and she made grits like no one else. “I think that’s great, Mom,” May said in a sweet tone. I couldn’t be sure if she was trying to butter up Mom to get college tuition out of her or if she was serious. May wasn’t a bad person, she just
didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about other people. “What’s he like?” Carrie said, breaking a silence that had fallen over all of us at the table. I don’t know what the others’ excuse was for the silence and the tension, but I was still trying to hurry up my exit. It was great that mom was seeing someone in a hypothetical way, but I wasn’t ready to see my mother with a man who wasn’t my father. Mom smiled at Carrie gratefully. “He’s sixtythree-years-old, and he has three grown children, all boys. He’s a criminal defense attorney and has done well for himself. He makes me laugh every day and I’ve smiled more in the past few weeks than I had in years before I met him.” “He sounds wonderful,” Carrie said. “Have you been to his law office,” I asked. “Have you heard anything about him other than what he’s told you?” Mom’s smile didn’t falter. She looked from Noah to me to Jared, who seemed preoccupied with picking the blueberries out of his pancake, and back to me. “I love that you kids are protective of me,” she said. “But I’m a grown woman. I know what I’m doing.” “Cody’s right, Mom,” Jill said. “What do you really know about this man? If you give me his vitals I can run his credit score.”
Mom sighed. “There will be no checking credit scores or backgrounds. I was introduced to him through a mutual friend, his sister, and I’ve been to his law office and I’ve seen his house and I’ve met his children. I’m certain he’s not a gold digger. Even if he were, most of my assets are tied up in the business.” “You’ve met his children?” Jenna said. “You met his children before you introduced him to us?” Mom’s smile was starting to look a little brittle. “Well, he and his wife divorced more than fifteen years ago, so it was less of a shock to his children that he’d have a new girlfriend, and—” “Girlfriend?” Noah said, his face going a bit red. Aubrey patted his arm, but he shook her off. “You didn’t tell us he was your boyfriend.” “Is,” my mother said. “He is my boyfriend. And, quite frankly, I’m surprised at how badly all of you are taking this. You couldn’t have honestly believed I would stay single for the rest of my life.” “Dad was the love of your life,” Jill said. “You two fought all the time, but you loved each other. I know you did.” “We did love each other,” Mom said. “But I think you are all old enough to understand that he wasn’t the love of my life. He was one of the loves of my life and he was a good one, but he left me. He left me and I had to change my plans for the future. I didn’t go looking to fall in love, but I met
Jonas and —” “Love?” Noah said. “You’re in love with him?” This was spiraling fast. Noah was a good guy and an even better businessman, but sometimes it was hard for him to see anything that wasn’t right in front of him or exactly the way he wanted it to be. He was fiercely loyal to our father, to the point that I thought he no longer remembered our dad’s fierce temper or the way he changed after he started making real money. “I’m happy for you, Mom,” I said. “And I think Dad would be, too.” Mom blew me a kiss. “Thank you, sweetheart.” “What do you mean?” Noah asked. “How could he possibly have been okay with this?” “Because I know he loved mom,” I said. “He loved her with every fiber of his being, even when he wasn’t being a very good husband. I know he’d want her to be happy.” “How can you know that?” Noah asked. “You did nothing but fight with him your whole life.” “I did,” I said. “Except when he and I went into the woods together. He told me how he’d fallen in love with mom the first time he saw her and how he believed it was his job in life to make her happy, to make sure she had everything she wanted. If I ever loved a woman, I’d never be okay
with watching her live alone and unhappy.” “You’d be okay watching her with another man?” “If the alternative was her being alone and unhappy? Hell, yes.” I’d never really given it much thought before and I’d certainly never been in love, but I loved my mother and I couldn’t believe my father would want her to be alone. “I agree with Cody,” Jill said. “Daddy loved Mom too much to want her to spend the rest of her life alone. I’m happy for you, Mom.” “Me, too,” Jenna said. She elbowed Jared and he looked up with a start. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “I think it’s great. I want to meet him and give him the interrogation, but I think it’s great that you’ve met someone.” We all looked to Noah, but he stabbed a sausage with his fork and stuffed it in his mouth, not saying a word. “I’m happy for you, Nora,” Aubrey said. “And I can’t wait to meet Jonas.” Noah glared at her, but she ignored him. A decisive knock on the door halted our conversation. Mom rose to her feet, a smile already blooming on her face. She crossed the room and returned moments later with a tall, lean man with an angular face and a warm smile. “Children,” my mother said, her fingers laced through the stranger’s. “This is Jonas Murray.” Mom then
pointed each of us out and introduced us. “I’ve heard so much about you all,” Jonas said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Noah grumbled something I couldn’t make out, but I stood and offered my hand to Jonas. Carrie stood with me. My siblings followed my lead until Mom shooed us all back to the table and ordered us to eat.
CHAPTER ELEVEN Carrie I do not care for Cody Reynolds. I do not care for Cody Reynolds. I do not care for Cody Reynolds. That had been my mantra for the past two weeks since we’d gotten back from his mom’s place. I’d told myself that over and over again while he cooked me dinner every night. I reminded myself of that when he made me laugh and I chanted it in my mind so frequently during sex, that I’m pretty sure I said it aloud one night. Cody had either pretended not to hear or he really hadn’t heard my slip. I was rationalizing. I knew it, but I couldn’t stop. Because if I admitted I cared about him, if I even admitted I liked him a little bit, then I’d have to stop eating the delicious dinners he cooked, I’d have to stop having the best sex of my life and, worst of all, I’d have to stop hanging out with him and laughing with him. A little voice in the back of my head had started up twenty-four hours ago and suggested maybe we could have something more, that maybe he cared for me, too. And that was a dangerous thought. That was a thought that meant we should end this charade, because he and I
wanted very different things and the closer we got, the more I started to think we could have something long-term, the more likely it was that one of us would get hurt. I reminded myself at least ten times a day of all the things about him that bothered me. He listened to awful music, he only watched educational television or sports, and he didn’t wear scarves or sweaters. I had a knitting habit and I needed someone to knit scarves and sweaters for. I needed a man who had a reliable, steady job and was ready to settle down and start a family. All the voices in my head were making me start to question my sanity and I was getting tired of arguing with myself. That’s why, when Cody knocked on my door Friday night, I spoke before he could say a word. “I think we need some space,” I said at the same time he said, “I’m taking you to see the ocean.” My heart stuttered. The ocean? I’d never seen the ocean and I’d always wanted to see the ocean. “What?” “What?” I waved at him. “You go first.” “I want to take you to see the ocean,” he said. “Noah owns a rental property in Myrtle beach and it’s free this weekend. He said we could use it, but if you need some space…?”
“Space?” I had started rationalizing as soon as the word ocean left his mouth the second time. “I don’t need any space. When do we leave?” Cody frowned and studied my face like he was trying to figure something out. “Right now. Pack your clothes and throw in a bikini. The condo building has a heated pool.” I didn’t own a bikini, but I wasn’t going to say anything that would make him change his mind about this trip. And believe me, I know how that sounds. I was a strong woman, I should have been able to take a trip to see the ocean on my own, but I’d had other priorities for a long time and I…Well, I really just wanted someone else with me to identify my remains if I was eaten by a shark. “Come on in,” I said. “I’ll only be ten minutes.” “That’s one of my favorite things about you.” He dropped to a seat on my couch and put his feet on the coffee table. “You aren’t even remotely high maintenance.” My heart stuttered again. He had favorite things about me? This was not good. Things were so much easier when we couldn’t stand each other. I hurried back to my room, grabbed my bag and threw in clothes, make-up, and toiletries for three days in about two minutes. I spent three minutes choosing my books and knitting project. I owned a Kindle, but I always liked to have physical books as back-up in case my Kindle battery died or
I lost my charger, or there was an apocalyptic event and all electronic devices stopped working. I took another thirty seconds to toss in my chargers for my phone and Kindle, slid on a pair of flip-flops, and hurried back out to the living room. “I’m ready. Let’s go.” Cody grinned, his brown eyes warm and happy, and my insides flipped and rearranged themselves in a new way that couldn’t be healthy, because it kind of hurt. I do not care for Cody Reynolds I mentally reminded myself. He hopped up and we headed out to his truck. I bit my lip and held my breath. I swallowed hard and tried to maintain my composure. I stepped into his truck, he shut the door on me, and I let out a squee of excitement. I tried to get it under control by the time he was seated in the driver’s seat, but I couldn’t hide my smile. Cody smiled back. “Thank you,” I said. “This is really the…It’s just…I really appreciate you taking me to see the ocean.” He started the truck and put his arm behind my seat back as he backed out. “I’m not doing this for you,” he said once he was on the main road. “I just wanted a reason to see you in a bikini.” I could have argued with him, but I knew he was trying to keep things business-like and platonic, just like I was. So I didn’t. “That sounds more like the Cody I know.”
His smile faded a bit, but I pretended I hadn’t noticed. I pretended, but I couldn’t make the sick feeling in my gut subside. “I brought the book we were reading,” I said. “We didn’t finish it on our trip to Atlanta.” “Perfect.” He kept his eyes on the road and his smile seemed forced. “I’ve been dying to find out what happens.” I read to him until the sun went down and my throat ached. “What’s your favorite book of all time?” he asked. “Jane Eyre.” “Really? Why?” “You’ve read it?” “My mother believed a love of reading was key to being successful in all aspects of life. She either read to us or insisted we read all the classics,” he said. “Jane Eyre wouldn’t even make my top ten list. I figured you would have chosen Pride and Prejudice or Mrs. Dalloway or The Bluest Eye.” “I love all those books.” My heart warmed at his knowledge of and obvious love of books. I repeated my mantra, I do not care for Cody Reynolds, but it didn’t do much to chill the warmth. “But Jane Eyre is special to me. I’ve read it once every year since I was ten and every time I read it I love it a little more.”
“Tell me. Tell me why it means so much to you.” So I did my best to explain it to him. Jane Eyre was a woman in a prison formed by expectations, by poverty, by society’s rules and laws, even physically caged by her aunt, and yet she found a way to overcome every obstacle, to find love, to transcend her lot in life. Her life was hard and yet she found beauty and friendships and loves that made her story beloved by generations. “How about you?” I asked, when I’d finished my explanation. “What’s your favorite book?” He thought it over for a minute. “Actually, I also like books that question the status quo. I love fiction, read it all the time, but my favorite books are probably nonfiction, memoir type books about nature, like Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Edward Abbey’s Desert Solitaire. Which is ironic, considering that I want to farm the land, to be one of those forces disturbing the natural order.” “I haven’t read that one. Haven’t read Pilgrim at Tinker’s Creek either. I should add them to my list.” He explained what he loved about the books, how the authors could perform a sort of magic with their words, to uncover unseen layers in nature, to somehow make it more. He talked about the peace he found in nature, the unmatchable beauty, and
how those authors somehow made it more beautiful, made his enjoyment nature more. He also talked about the importance of protecting nature and how he hoped to build his winery in an environmentally sustainable way. He’d tried to convince his family to build their hotels in the same way, but his father had resisted and it wasn’t until Noah took over that changes started to be made. “I’ve never been a huge fan of hiking,” I said. “But I think if I went with you, I might change my mind.” He smiled, but he didn’t tell me what he thought of that idea, instead he asked where I wanted to go for dinner. We argued about what to eat for a good half hour. After we’d settled on a compromise and were back in the truck with full bellies, he pulled out an mp3 player and fired up an audio book. “What is this?” I asked. “The Sound and the Fury. Unless you’d prefer something else? I’ve got The Goldfinch on here, too.” “Why didn’t you tell me you had this before I started reading?” He didn’t look the least bit repentant. “Your voice is my favorite.” His words made my heart squeeze and I couldn’t be annoyed with him. “The Sound and the Fury is good.” We listened, getting lost in Faulkner’s words
and the lovely voice of the reader, until we got to Myrtle Beach. *** We arrived at Noah’s condo after nine thirty, and I was tired. I’d had a long week at work and I’d been in overdrive worrying about people I couldn’t control or influence. Harrison seemed to be in a good place, finally, but Kayla had missed two more days of school that week and, when she’d been in class, she’d had dark bags under her eyes and had looked pale. I’d asked her if she was okay, but she’d said she was fine and did her best to avoid me. Since I couldn’t legally kidnap her and hold her until she told me the truth, I was out of options. On top of that, Missy Melcher had ‘dropped in’ to see me or observe my class every single day and every single day she reminded me I was on probation, criticized my appearance or my teaching skills, and suggested there was no way I’d really landed a fiancé as hot as Cody. I rubbed my eyes and looked up at the threestory building Cody had parked in front of. “How far is the ocean?” “It’s just on the other side of this building,” he said. “Nothing but the best for Noah. We’re in North Myrtle Beach, about fifteen minutes from Myrtle, where the boardwalk and most of the
excitement happens. This is more of a family beach, but we can go to the boardwalk tomorrow.” “I just want to see the ocean. I want to build a sandcastle and lay in the sun and dive through a wave.” He grinned. “The water’s a bit chilly this time of year, but all of that can definitely be arranged.” The smell of salt and warm wood filled me as soon as I stepped out of the car into the cool night air. He grabbed our bags and led us up to the third floor and a condo at the beach-side of the building. The interior was cute and tropical, with a living room, full kitchen, small dining area, and two bedrooms. I bypassed it all and went straight to the balcony to see the ocean. It was much louder than I’d imagined. The white caps glowed bright white in the light of the full moon and the dark water rolled and glistened. The night was warmer on the streetside of the building, but the breeze was chilly off the ocean and I shivered. I should go in and grab a sweatshirt, but I didn’t want to turn away from the view. The door behind me slid open and Cody stepped out. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. For several long moments, he didn’t say a word, didn’t mar the beauty of the moment with small talk or unwieldy words. He just held me and watched the ocean with me. I was mesmerized by its ebb and
flow, by the pure force and enormity of it. “Want to go for a walk on the beach,” he asked in a soft voice. “Uh-huh.” We went back inside and I pulled a sweatshirt on over my short-sleeved shirt. Cody claimed not to be cold and wore only his jeans and a t-shirt that stretched tight over his upper body. Under any other circumstances, I might have been distracted by him and the empty condo and the responsibilityfree weekend stretching out before us, but the ocean held a bigger draw. He held my hand as we walked out of the condo and down the short path to the sand. I didn’t remind myself that I didn’t care for him or worry about the danger of getting too close to him. Instead, I found myself falling into a happy daze and pretending we were a couple, that he belonged to me for real, that we had a whole future of days like this one stretching out before us. I kicked off my flip-flops and sank my toes into the sand. It felt a bit like a foot massage and Cody waited while I dug my toes in, closed my eyes, and just reveled in the feel of it against my skin, the sound of the ocean, louder now and all encompassing. I opened my eyes and we walked down to the water’s edge. I let my feet sink into the wet sand and felt the chilly water lapping at my ankles. When I’d had my fill of that, we walked along the
beach, chasing fiddler crabs, white ghosts against the glow from Cody’s cell phone. When I’d had enough of that, we walked back to the beach in front of our condo and lay on the sand, my head on Cody’s firm belly, and looked at the stars, so bright and clear and infinite. I was in paradise and I savored every moment, clung to it, because I knew it couldn’t last, no matter how badly I might want it to. *** My phone rang, waking me from a deep sleep, and a sense of dread washed over me. I scrambled out of bed, kicking Cody in the shin accidentally. He sat straight up in bed. “What?” My phone rang again and I lunged for it. “Hello?” “Ms. Harrison,” a teary voice said. “This is Kayla. Can you…Can you come and get me and Simon and Jenny?” “I’m in Myrtle Beach, honey,” I said, my heart sinking. “What’s happened?” “My dad…” Her voice broke and she started sobbing. “Ms. Harrison,” a male voice said, his tone soft. “This is Albert Bennett with Child Protective Services. Kayla’s father passed away this afternoon and the children have no living relatives that we
can track down. Kayla felt that you might be willing to take them in until a legal guardian is located. Two community members have spoken on your behalf and we could put them into your care for the time being if that is amenable.” “Yes. I’m in Myrtle Beach, but we can be there in…” I looked at Cody. “Six hours,” he said. “Seven at the most.” “Seven hours,” I said to Albert. “Where will they be held until I can get there?” “I’ll wait for you with them here at the hospital,” Albert said. “I’ll get there as soon as I can.” I hung up. Cody was already out of bed, he pulled on jeans and started throwing clothes in his bag. I followed suit and he didn’t say a word, didn’t ask a question until we were on the road and headed Northwest. “What happened?” “Kayla’s dad is dead,” I said. “I don’t know what happened, but the kids have nowhere else to go. Child Protective Services wants me to take them in until next of kin can be found.” Kayla had told me her grandparents passed away before she was born, and she’d never mentioned any other family. “That was fast,” he said. “Don’t they need to do a background check on you or something?” I shrugged. “I grew up in that town, and my parents grew up in that town. Two people, I’m
assuming two people in positions of authority, vouched for me.” “It really is all about who you know.” “Yep.” I couldn’t imagine what Kayla, Simon, and Jenny were going through, how much they were hurting, and I willed the car to go faster, to somehow get to them more quickly. “They can stay at my place,” he said. “I’ve got plenty of space. There won’t be room for them at your house.” “Thanks. But you don’t have to do that. It’s too much to ask of you, to take in three kids you don’t even know.” “I’ve got nothing else going on until I finalize the deal on Bart’s property, and they’re good kids. It’s fine.” “Thank you,” I said again. They were good kids, but every kid reacted differently to the loss of a parent. I’d seen it a couple of times with my students and I’d seen it with my nephew. I doubted anything would be as simple as Cody anticipated. But I wasn’t going to turn down his offer, because he was right, there was more space at his house. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to swim in the ocean. Next time…” He cleared his throat. “Next time you go, I hope the weather is better for you.” And just like that the bubble I’d been inside for the past twelve hours burst. It hadn’t burst with Kayla’s phone call, because he’d been right there
beside me, supporting me. It had burst when he reminded me, maybe both of us, that our relationship, whatever it was, had a time limit. We had one more week, nine more days, and it would be over. Maybe we’d pretend a little bit longer after that, just so it didn’t seem like we’d tricked Bart, but we could start spending less time together, build the distance between us in preparation for the inevitable end. “You should try and get some sleep,” he said. “I’m sure you’re going to have a stressful day ahead of you.” I put my seat back and closed my eyes, Cody turned on his classic rock at a low volume, and I pretended to sleep. I pretended because I couldn’t really do it. I listened to him humming along softly with the music, and watched as he drove through the night, focused on the road, no sign of worry or concern about the end of our relationship on his face. He would be okay. We’d end and he would get involved with building his winery and date other women and he’d be fine. I’d be fine, too. I’d always been fine alone and I would be again, but my heart would never be quite whole again, because sometime over the past couple of days, I’d fallen. I’d broken all my own rules and fallen irrevocably in love with this man. But my relationship with Cody wasn’t my main concern. What really mattered, was those three
kids who’d just lost their father, who would need me to be there for them, to give them everything I had. It was better to accept that Cody and I were a fling that was ending and start figuring out how I was going to help those kids, to be there for those kids without him, without his help. We got to the hospital at five in the morning. I was exhausted and heart sore, but I put it all aside when I saw those kids, eyes red, looking exhausted and scared and lost. I had no idea what I was doing and I had no idea what to say or how to comfort them but, if I had anything to do with it, they would never have any idea I felt as lost as they did. Cody walked in beside me, but I ran to the kids and dropped to my knees in front of them. They sat on the hard plastic hospital waiting room chairs, huddled together. I wrapped my arms around Kayla and she sobbed onto my shoulder. “I didn’t know who else to call,” she said. “You did the right thing.” I pulled away and brushed the tears from her eyes. I didn’t reach for either of the other kids, because I was virtually a stranger to them, but Jenny crawled onto my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. Simon just stared straight ahead and swallowed hard. The social worker, a short, stocky man with a shock of thick black hair and a kind smile, got my and Cody’s information and had us sign some paperwork. He promised to be in
touch in the next couple of days. Jenny had fallen asleep in my arms and I held her tight, swaying with her a bit. “Do you have a booster seat in your vehicle?” Albert asked. I looked over at Cody. Why hadn’t we considered that? We didn’t even have enough seats in his truck for us and the kids. “No,” I said. “I’m sorry. I don’t.” “That’s okay,” Albert said. “Just be sure to get one before you go anywhere with Jenny. I’ll follow you with the kids in my car.” We got to Cody’s and he headed right back out to get air mattresses and sleeping bags, since he didn’t have beds in his guest rooms. I lay Jenny on the couch, where she fell back to sleep almost instantly. I got some food into Kayla and Simon. Simon went right to bed as soon as Cody had one set up for him, but Kayla didn’t seem ready for sleep. Cody must have sensed her need to talk to me alone, because he headed back to his room. “It’s my fault,” Kayla said. “It’s my fault Dad’s dead.” “Why do you think that?” My first instinct was to tell her she was wrong, but she was a teenager and I suspected that wouldn’t go over well. “He overdosed on heroin,” she said. “Did Albert tell you that? I found him on the couch and he was…He was already gone. I kept Simon and
Jenny outside until the ambulance and the police got there. I…” “You did the right thing. I’m so, so sorry you had to see that.” “It was my fault. I knew he had a problem. I saw the empty pill bottles in the trash. He couldn’t keep a job more than a couple of weeks. I thought…I thought he was better. He seemed to like his new job and there weren’t any more pill bottles. He seemed happier. Better. I mean he’d go out sometimes and be gone a lot longer than he said he’d be gone and he…Sometimes I had a hard time waking him up for work…I guess I just wanted so badly to believe he was better that I convinced myself. I never thought he might have moved on to heroin.” “You couldn’t have known,” I said. “This isn’t your fault.” I had plenty of experience dealing with a teenager who blamed himself for a parent’s death, but Harrison’s loss hadn’t been as recent as Kayla’s. “But I did know he was using too much of the painkillers. I knew and I should have…I should have made him get help or told someone.” I wished she’d told me, but I doubted I could have done anything, either. “You can’t force an addict to stop. Your father wouldn’t have accepted help until he was ready. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“How can you know that?” Tears streaming down her cheeks, and my heart ached for her. If I could have taken all her pain onto myself, I would have. In a heartbeat. “How can you be so sure?” Jenny must have been woken by our conversation or her sister’s tears, because she climbed up on Kayla’s lap and wrapped her arms around her sister’s neck. I couldn’t imagine what Kayla must have gone through, taking care of her brother and sister when her father couldn’t. Being forced to be both mother and father when she was still so very much a child herself. Kayla cooed to Jenny and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re a good kid, Kayla,” I said. “You’re a wonderful sister and daughter and if your father was here right now, he’d tell you he doesn’t blame you. I know that because I’d do the same in his place. Any parent would.” Kayla didn’t look convinced, but exhaustion won out and her body drooped, her eyes trying to close as a yawn took over her whole body. “Come on. Let’s get you both to bed.” Kayla and Jenny curled up together on an air mattress and I joined Cody in bed. I had so much to do and figure out that my brain was whirring and I wanted to stay up and get started, but I knew I couldn’t function or be any help to the kids if I didn’t get sleep. I closed my eyes and drifted off.
CHAPTER TWELVE Cody I woke up with Carrie’s warmth next to me and it took me a moment to remember why the afternoon sun was streaming in through my window and why the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants was playing somewhere in the house. When it came to me, I sat up and stretched. Carrie was sprawled out, her face peaceful in sleep, and I didn’t want to disturb her. She needed to get her rest. I pulled on pants and a shirt over the boxers I’d worn to bed and left, shutting the door softly behind me. I found Jenny on the couch, remote in her hand, flipping through the channels on her own. She smiled at me when I sat next to her. “You’ve got a jamillion channels.” “Your brother and sister still sleeping?” She nodded. “They sleep a lot. When’s daddy coming to pick us up.” My heart clenched. I didn’t know anything to do but tell her the truth. “Your daddy’s not coming,” I said. “You’re going to stay with us for a while.” “Where is he?” Jenny asked.
“He’s dead,” Simon said, his voice harsh and angry. He dropped onto the chair next to the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. “We told you that already.” Jenny looked at me, clearly wanting to hear it from someone with more authority. “Is that true, Mr. Cody? Is daddy dead and in heaven with Mommy?” Her lower lip trembled and tears shimmered in her eyes. That same punch to the chest I’d felt when I saw Carrie crying hit me all over again. “Yeah, sweetheart. He is.” The tears spilled over her bottom lids and she sobbed in earnest. “I want Daddy. I want my daddy.” “Shut up, Jenny,” Simon said. “It’s not like he was around much anyway. You’ll hardly even notice he’s gone.” His tone was raw and hard, but tears shimmered in his eyes, too. I didn’t know what to do. There was no one I could punch for making them cry, and I felt helpless. I fucking hated feeling helpless. Jenny climbed onto my lap and I wrapped my arms around her as her small body shook under the weight of her sobs. I really wished there was someone I could punch. Anyone. Once Jenny’s sobs subsided, I offered the one thing that had always made me feel better. “You kids ever been on a nature walk?”
“No,” Simon said. Jenny shook her head, her thumb in her mouth. “You wanna go on one?” “Why would we wanna do something so stupid and boring?” Simon said. “Our dad just died and you want to take us on a nature walk? What kind of idiot are you?” I shrugged, I’d been called worse. “What about you, Jenny? Wanna go for a nature walk?” She nodded again, thumb still in her mouth. “Okay, Simon. Jenny and I are going on a nature walk. You can stay here or you can come with us. Your choice, but there’ll be ice cream at the end of the walk.” There was a trail, a walking path, that wound through the back side of our neighborhood for about half a mile and ended at a little shopping complex that had an ice cream shop and a couple other stores. I was hoping one of those stores sold booster seats and coloring books and video games and kid movies. I had no confidence that the court system or CPS would find family to take in the kids in any kind of a hurry. “Fine,” Simon said. “But I want two scoops.” “You got it.” The kids disappeared into the guest room Simon had slept in and returned a few minutes later dressed. Jenny was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that didn’t match, and her long, dark hair looked
like it had been caught in a tornado, but I didn’t figure we’d be seeing anyone she needed to impress. I had no idea what the stamina of a five-yearold was and I wanted to be sure we could make it home, so I gave Jenny a piggyback ride to the shopping center. I named every tree and plant we passed. Jenny repeated the names, but Simon muttered how lame I was and how lame nature walks were. If he hadn’t just lost his dad, I might have suggested he show a little respect, but I figured he had every right to be pissy and grumpy. The shopping center did have a store that had coloring books, games, and books for the kids, but no booster seats. I let Jenny and Simon each pick out a few things to play with. Jenny’s eyes widened and she ran around the store like she’d just won a million dollars. Simon frowned and muttered something about toys not fixing anything, but he picked out a book and a game. I had no idea what a teenage girl might want, but I didn’t want to show up with nothing for her. The sales clerk suggested a crossword puzzle book and a jewelry-making kit. The ice cream shop was just a wooden shack with outdoor seating. Even at ten in the morning on a cool spring day, they had a line of people waiting. We stood in line, our purchases heavy in my hands. Simon slouched and scowled, while Jenny ran circles around him and did her very best to drive
him crazy. He ignored her. “Jenny.” I had to say her name three more times before I got her attention. She looked at me, her eyes wide, her little body bouncing in place. “I need your help with something important.” She tilted her head, skeptical. “What?” I shook my head. “You know what, never mind. You probably can’t count.” She frowned and stuck her hands on her hips. “I can so count. I can count to two hundred.” I pretended to doubt her. “Are you sure? This job is really important. I need a really excellent counter.” She straightened, her shoulders back. I even had Simon’s reluctant attention. “I am a really excellent counter. One, two, three, four—” “Hmm. That’s impressive. Maybe you can help me.” “What do I need to do?” “I’m taking a survey of which flavor of ice cream people buy more of. Can you pay attention to what people order and keep a count of the flavors?” “Why?” She was back to looking skeptical. I hadn’t been prepared for so much doubt, so I had to think fast. “I’m planning on starting a business of my own and I need to know what kind of ice cream flavors to serve.” I hadn’t considered serving ice cream at my winery, but I wasn’t against
it, so I figured I wasn’t really lying. She grinned. “Okay. I’ll do it.” She moved to stand right next to me and stood stock still while she listened to the orders of the people in line ahead of us and kept count on her fingers. “Ten chocolate, five strawberry, and three vanilla,” she said when it was our turn to order. “Really?” I said. “That’s very helpful. I didn’t think chocolate would be the favorite.” Simon rolled his eyes, but kept his opinion to himself, and I ordered all of us waffle cones with two scoops. I realized my mistake when I handed the cone to Jenny and it was as big as her head. She carried it as though she was carrying a rare and expensive treasure. We found a table in a warm spot of sunlight. Jenny made it a third of the way through her dessert, her face, hair and clothes covered in ice cream, before she tipped the cone the wrong way and lost the rest of her treat. As soon as the chocolate hit the pavement, she began to shriek like someone was beating her with a cattle prod. Simon, helpfully, rolled his eyes and kept eating. “It’s okay, Jenny,” I said in my most soothing tone. “I’ll get you another one.” Her tears instantly stopped and I got back in line to get her a bowl of ice cream that she could rest on the table and would be less likely to drop.
She grumbled a bit about the absence of a second cone, but she ate it. By the time she’d finished her ice cream, Simon was grumbling about being bored and harassing her to hurry up, which only seemed to encourage her to eat more slowly. I wasn’t used to refereeing arguing kids before I’d had my coffee, and I was getting a touch grumpy myself. I reined in my annoyance, pulled up a game on my phone for Simon to play and tried to enjoy a moment of peace while Jenny ate and babbled about her friends and her toys and what she was going to do with the rest of her day. Jenny, high on sugar, ran all the way back to the house. Kayla ran out as soon as we stepped onto the sidewalk. “Where were you?” she asked. She scooped Jenny up in her arms and glared at me. “We went for a walk,” Jenny said. “Mr. Cody carried me all the way on his back. He bought us some books and stuff and he got us ice cream.” Carrie walked out and placed a hand on Kayla’s back. “They’re okay, Kayla.” She turned to me. “Maybe just let us know where you’re going next time?” Shit. I’d never been responsible for little people before. It hadn’t occurred to me that anyone would worry. I patted my pocket to check for my phone, but it wasn’t there. I must have left it on the dining room table. “I’m sorry, Kayla,” I said. “I
didn’t want to wake you.” “It’s okay,” Kayla said, sniffling. “I’m just…I can’t lose anyone else right now.” I felt like punching myself for making Kayla cry. I handed her the bag of stuff I’d gotten for them all. “Why don’t I run out and buy a booster seat for Jenny and then we can all go to your house and get whatever stuff you want to have with you for now?” “That would be wonderful,” Carrie said. She started back toward the house. “Let me just get my wallet and I’ll—” “No. We’ll settle up later.” I had no intention of letting her pay, but that was a fight we didn’t need to have in front of the kids. I drove to three different stores and talked to six different sales people before I found a booster seat that was suitable. I picked up a pizza on the way home, because it was after six. The kids cheered when I walked in with a pizza in one hand and a booster seat in the other. Carrie had already set the table and there was a bowl of some sort of yellow pasta in the center of the table. “They don’t like my cooking,” she said, with an adorable pouty frown. “Good thing I brought pizza.” I pressed a kiss to her temple. She smiled and put the pasta in the kitchen. I put the pizza in its place and we all sat
down to eat. All of us except for Kayla and Simon, who just picked at their food. I couldn’t blame them. I wasn’t going to push them to eat the day after they’d lost their father. Carrie didn’t say anything either. After dinner, they all squeezed into Carrie’s car and I followed in my truck. We grabbed enough clothes from their house for a couple of days, as well as their favorite toys, stuffies, and books. After they were in bed, Carrie and I sat down at the dining room table. “I’ve taken the next three days off from work,” Carrie said. “The kids should take at least that much off, but I’m not sure they should take more. The sooner they get back to their normal lives, the easier it will be for them, right?” “Sure,” I said, even though I had no idea. “I’m going to need to talk to someone at the funeral home and talk to a lawyer or…Who do I talk to about their dad’s finances?” She looked out the window at her house. “I doubt he had any money. Kayla said he’s been out of work a lot. Their house will need to go on the market. I guess I can talk to Mary Ellen about that.” I placed my hand over hers. “We can figure this out. I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone.” She shook her head. “You’re here for eight more days and then you’ll have your vineyard and I’ll be on my own.” I opened my mouth to tell her it didn’t have to
be that way, that our relationship didn’t have to end, but a loud knock at the door stopped me. Carrie got up and hurried to the door like she was grateful for the interruption. I stood and followed her more slowly. This was what I wanted, so why did I feel like I was losing the best thing that had ever happened to me? Norma Jane stood at the door, a covered dish in her hand. “I just heard, dear. I’m so sorry for those poor children.” Carrie took the dish and stood aside. “Come on in, Miss Norma Jane.” Carrie handed me the dish and I took it to the kitchen. I lifted the lid to see what looked like lasagna. I stuck it in the fridge and went back to the living room just in time to see Norma Jane hand Carrie an envelope. “This is a collection I took up from the neighborhood. That poor man didn’t have a cent far as anyone can tell.” I sat down next to Carrie. Her posture was rigid and fairly vibrating with some emotion. “How could you know that?” Norma Jane gave her a gentle smile, having no idea she was in dangerous territory. “People talk, sweetie. He hadn’t held down a job for any length of time and he’d taken out a second mortgage on his house so he could replace his car when it broke down.” “What else did people say?” Carrie’s teeth were gritted tight.
Norma Jane flinched, like she was starting to figure out something was off. “Nothing, sugar. Nothing that you need concern yourself with.” “What did people say, Norma Jane?” The older woman steeled her own spine, her frown fierce. “Only that the man had a bad habit. He was fired from one of his jobs for using drugs at work.” Carrie grabbed my hand and gripped it hard. I knew this was going to be bad, I could see the light of the oncoming train and I wasn’t going to do anything but back Carrie up on this one and hold her when she cried. “People suspected he had a drug problem? They knew he wasn’t holding a job? And they also knew he had three kids to support on his own? Is that what you’re telling me, Norma Jane?” Norma Jane huffed. “We don’t get involved in domestic matters, Carrie Harrison. You know that. And no one can save a drug addict but himself.” Carrie’s grip on my hand tightened until it hurt. “So, what you’re saying, Norma Jane, is that if I had children and you knew I was in a bad way, you’d do nothing? You’d let me waste away while my children starved?” “Well of course not, you’re one of ours.” Carrie shuddered and shoved the envelope back at Norma Jane. “I appreciate you stopping by, but I don’t want your money.”
If it had been Betty sitting across from Carrie, she would have taken the money and stormed out, but Norma Jane was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met. She didn’t take the money and she didn’t get angry. Her expression softened. “It’s not right, child. It’s not okay that none of us stepped in and stood up for those children and that man. I accept that. I could have done something, we all could have done something. You have every right to be angry about that. But keep the money. Let us do something now.” Tears slipped down Carrie’s cheeks. “At the very least,” she said. “You could have told me. I would have tried to do something.” “You asked me years ago to stop sharing gossip with you, child. And you were right. It’s better not to know people’s secrets until they’re ready to share them with you.” Carrie shook her head. “I could have done something. I could have helped him.” “How, sugar? Would you have dragged him into a rehab center? Moved in with them to make sure he never used again? And what about your other students? Sometimes you have to let people make their own choices and just be there to catch them when they fall.” “No,” Carrie said. “You don’t really believe that. If you did, you would have stopped meddling in my life years ago.”
Norma Jane stood. “Like I said, sugar, you’re ours.” “Wait,” Carrie said. “Do you know if the kids have any other family? Any relatives who can take them in?” “They aren’t from here, Carrie. I don’t know their family.” Norma Jane left, closing the front door quietly behind her. Carrie dropped my hand and stood. She stormed into the kitchen and slammed the envelope down on the table. “Sometimes I hate this backward, xenophobic, small-minded town.” I followed her into the kitchen and reached for her, but she dodged away. “Do you know what she meant when she said I’m theirs and Kayla and her family aren’t?” I had a pretty good idea, but I kept my mouth shut and let her get it out. “She didn’t mean that I’m a better person, or earned their love and respect. She meant the Parsons haven’t lived in Catalpa Creek for generations. They’re outsiders, even though Kayla was born here and her daddy moved here right after college. They’re outsiders and they’re poor. I’ve heard Norma Jane say it about other people. She’d say, ‘they’re do-nothing people,’ as though they’re evil just for not being able to earn a living. Norma Jane could have saved them all this pain. I could have saved them.”
I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. I stroked her hair and hugged her tight. “She was wrong not to do anything to help those kids, but she’s right that there was probably nothing anyone could have done for their father.” “Someone should have tried,” she said between sobs, her body limp against mine. “I should have tried.” “You did what you could. You tried to get Kayla to open up. Sometimes people make poor choices and there’s not a damn thing you or anyone else can do about it.” She didn’t agree, but she didn’t argue either. She straightened, wiped her eyes and forced a weak smile. “We should probably get to bed. Jenny will be up at the crack of dawn.” So, we went to bed. And we slept. I tried to cuddle up to her, but she shifted away from me, saying she just wanted to sleep. I knew it was more than that. She was pulling away from me and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it, because it was what I wanted. It was what I needed. *** On Thursday, everyone went back to school and I was home alone when Albert Bennett banged on the door. “Come on in,” I said to the older man. He smiled, but he seemed unsure. When he’d
learned the children were staying at my house and not at Carrie’s, he’d been less than happy. I’d had to fill out some paperwork and agree to a background check. I also had to agree to stop having wine tastings in the house, and I had to demonstrate that all the wine was stored out of reach of the children. “I’d hoped to speak to Miss Harrison.” He stepped inside and I closed the door behind him. “But I suppose you can pass on a message to her.” “I’d be happy to. Have a seat.” He shook his head. “Oh, no. I’ll only be a minute. I wanted to let her know that the children have only one living relative, an aunt, who resides in Arizona. She doesn’t want custody and has signed the documents to withdraw any and all rights she may have had to the children.” My heart sank. “Are there no other living relatives.” “None,” Mr. Bennett said. “Miss Harrison must decide if she wants permanent guardianship of the children. If not, they will be placed in foster care and, hopefully, adopted. It is likely they will be split up.” I grimaced, Kayla adored her brother and sister and poor Jenny would be lost without her older siblings. The idea of splitting them up was unthinkable, but was I ready for a family? Could I run a vineyard and help Carrie raise three kids? The
questions assailed me without warning. When had I started to think of them as my family? Carrie was pushing me away and our relationship was set to end in a few days. Carrie would insist on doing this on her own and she’d spend the next twelve years caring for the kids alone. She’d put off finding a husband and having kids, she’d put off her own needs. Or worse, she’d find a husband, someone more stable and more willing to commit than I was, someone who’d help her take care of Kayla, Simon, and Jenny and give her a couple of her own kids, too. They’d be one big happy family and she’d remember me as a mistake that was better forgotten. I growled at the thought, my hands curling into fists. “Mr. Reynolds?” Albert said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?” “It’s just a lot to think about.” Albert’s eyes narrowed. “I imagine it’s a lot more than you’d intended to take on when you asked our Carrie to marry you.” What the hell was wrong with this town? As far as I knew Mr. Bennett hadn’t even known Carrie four days ago and now she belonged to him? “No.” I hated the way he’d already judged me and found me lacking. Hated that he was right. “No, it’ll be fine. I’ll pass the message on to Carrie.” “You do that. You should also let her know
that Mr. Parsons died a broke man. There will be no money from him to help her raise those kids.” Restless, I cleaned the house. I went to the store and got the fixings for a cookout dinner, instead of pulling out another of the casseroles that now filled our fridge and freezer. At three, I met Jenny at the bus stop at the end of the street. She came flying off the bus and threw her arms around me. “Mr. Cody,” she said. “I missed you.” A knot formed in my throat and I couldn’t swallow it away. Not even when I reminded myself that she was young and she’d forget me easily once I was gone. Simon got off the bus at a more sedate rate, scowling at me like I was somehow responsible for every bad thing in his life. I scooped up Jenny and gave her a piggy back ride to the house. Simon started up the stairs into the house, stomping all the way, but I stopped on the sidewalk. “Where you going, man?” Simon didn’t even look at me. “Homework.” “When you’re done, why don’t you come out back. I’ve got something to show you.” I carried Jenny to the back yard. I’d picked up a few surprises for them while I’d been out getting groceries. I’d spent money I should have saved for the winery, but Jenny’s face-splitting smile and squeal of joy when she saw the tree swing I’d tied
to a high branch of a huge Oak, made it all worth it. I took a seat at the picnic table on my patio and watched her swing. When she got hungry, I offered her the fruit and cheese I’d prepared for her and she read me a short book for her homework. She ran right back to the swing after, her smile still firmly in place. I couldn’t bring back her father, I couldn’t be her father, but I’d given her a few moments of happiness and I felt pretty damn proud of that. Simon came out the back door not long after. “We’re not staying here you know,” he said. “We’ll go live with relatives we’ve never met or go into foster care. You shouldn’t have wasted your money.” “I don’t know about that.” I wasn’t going to tell him anything until I’d talked to Carrie. “But you’re here now, and I’ve got something for you, too.” I reached under the table to grab the new soccer ball I’d gotten him and pointed out the goals I’d set up to the left of and just behind the tree swing. Simon’s scowl didn’t fade, but he took the ball and carried it over to the goals. “What’s going on here?” I spun on my seat at the table to see Carrie, Kayla next to her, looking seriously pissed off. “I got a couple of things for the kids,” I said. “Kayla,” Carrie said. “Why don’t you go say
hello to Jenny and Simon.” Kayla did as she was asked, but she gave me a small smile and whispered thank you as she passed. “Cody,” Carrie said. “Can I speak to you inside for a moment?” “Sure,” I said, my own anger ramping up. If she was going to get pissed at me for doing something nice for the kids, I was going to get pissed right back. “What the hell is all that?” she asked once we were standing in my kitchen. “It’s not a big deal. The soccer goals were on sale.” She threw her hands up and started pacing. She was angry and I should have been worried about that, but it had been three days since she’d smiled at me, three days since she’d touched me or let me touch her, and the way her hips swayed when she walked was hypnotizing. I pushed away thoughts of sex, of how much I hated the way she’d been pulling away from me, and focused on her words. “That’s not the point, Cody. You buy them this stuff and they think this is permanent, that you’re permanent. They might have a new home in a few days and you’re setting them up for hurt.” I put a hand on her arm, but she pulled away like I disgusted her. “Albert stopped by today.” Her face drained of color. “He found a relative.”
“Yes, an aunt, but she doesn’t want the kids. Albert said you need to decide if you want to keep the kids and apply for guardianship if you do.” Carrie dropped into a seat at the dining room table. “Me? He wants me to apply for guardianship?” “If you don’t, the kids will be placed in foster care and there’s a possibility they’ll be separated.” She straightened her spine and steeled her expression. “I won’t allow that to happen. Of course I’ll apply for guardianship.” I knelt in front of her. “This isn’t your dream, Carrie. I know you wanted to get married and have your own family.” Tears glittered in her eyes. “Those kids need me. I won’t let them down. I have no idea how I’ll afford to take care of the three of them, but I’ll apply to be their guardian.” “What do you need?” I asked. There was no point in arguing with her, and the truth was I didn’t want to see those kids in foster care or separated either. “What can I do to help?” Her expression shuttered and closed. “This isn’t your problem. We made a mistake staying here.” “I’ve liked having you here. Stay as long as you want.” She swallowed and shook her head. “This thing between us was never supposed to be anything but
fun. Kids were never part of the deal. I’ll move us back into my house this weekend.” “There’s more room here. You should stay here. Stay with me.” “Why?” she asked, her chin high. “Why would you want us to stay?” “Because it makes more sense.” I knew my words were the wrong ones as soon as tears spilled down her cheeks, but I couldn’t give her the right words. I wasn’t ready for a family, wasn’t the dependable sort of guy those kids needed. “I’d like…I’d like you to stay here.” “I’ve had fun with you, Cody. But the longer we stay with you, the more we’ll all come to depend on you. The more the kids will see you as a permanent fixture in their lives.” “Then I’ll move out,” I said. “We can let everyone think we’re still engaged, but I’ll spend my time at your house. Eventually, you can sell your house and take over the rent on this one.” “I can’t let you do that,” she said. “This is your house.” “Just let me do this one thing for you. You’re right, it’s weird for the kids to see us here, sharing a bed, when we aren’t married, but I’d like to keep seeing you, Carrie. I really…I’ve really had fun these past few weeks.” Mentally, I slapped a hand on my forehead. Why couldn’t I tell her how much I cared for her?
She stood and maneuvered past me. “I doubt I’ll have much time for myself or for fun in the future.” She walked out of that room and I felt like letting her go was the biggest mistake I’d made in a lifetime full of them. I made another when I didn’t call her back, didn’t tell her how much she and the kids meant to me. But I couldn’t call her back, couldn’t make her any promises, because I had nothing to offer. I cooked a big dinner of hamburgers on the grill, pasta salad, and grilled vegetables and then I packed a bag and headed to Carrie’s place for the night. She walked me over and let me into the house. “I can still get Jenny and Simon from the bus,” I said. She gave me a tight smile. “Norma Jane volunteered to get them from the bus from now on. She’ll watch them until Kayla gets home, but thanks for the offer.” “Of course.” Why was I sad that I wouldn’t get to be attacked by sweet Jenny the next afternoon? “Let me know if you need help with the petition for guardianship or anything else.” “I won’t need help, but thanks, anyway.” She left and I settled into her house. I wasn’t lonely and that ache in my gut wasn’t sadness. I was just missing the chaos of bedtime with three
kids, it wouldn’t take me long to get used to the peace and quiet. I had a winery to start and I had to prove to the rest of my family that I was every bit as capable of starting a business as the rest of them. That goal felt hollow and less important than it once had, but I was sure, once I got on the property and started preparing the land for my vineyard, my priorities would settle back into the right order. *** “Hello, young man,” Bart said from his rocking chair on the front porch. I shook his hand and took a seat in the chair next to him. “You ready to sell me this property?” After four days spent alone in Carrie’s house, I was long past stir crazy and on the verge of complete and total mental breakdown. I’d set her kitchen up for wine tastings and put the word out that I was open for business again, but there had so far been no takers and there was nothing else for me to do until I had the property from Bart. I’d resorted to working on her flower beds and taking care of the exterior of her house just for something to do. I tried not to go outside during the hours I knew the kids would be out. Carrie was right, it was best to make a clean break and be out of their lives for good. Even so, I’d taken my creeper status to a new
low, watching the kids from the window to make sure they were doing okay. Simon hadn’t smiled once, yet, but Jenny and Kayla seemed, if not happy, at least content. I’d attended their dad’s funeral on Saturday and I’d stopped by Norma Jane’s house twice to find out what she knew. Not much. Carrie was still miffed at her and applications for guardianship apparently took time, so there was no word on that, yet. Bart stared out at his front yard, rocking, and sucking his teeth. “I’d like to, son, but I hear you and Carrie are on the outs.” Shit. Bart wasn’t the first person to mention that, Norma Jane had fished for gossip about my engagement to Carrie, said she’d noticed I had moved into Carrie’s place. “There’s been a bit of a change,” I said, repeating what I’d told Norma Jane. “She’s taken in three children and we felt it wasn’t right to share a bed if we weren’t married.” “Uh-huh. They’re good kids from what I’ve heard.” “They are good kids. Jenny is adorable and already reading at a second-grade level. Simon is a bit grumpy, but he’s got good reason. He’s amazing at math. Kayla is like a mom to those kids and she’s stronger and more mature than anyone her age ought to be.” What was that tightness in my chest? I ignored it. They were the past and the winery was my future.
“They’ve been through a tough haul, but kids are resilient.” He rocked for another few moments. “I want you to get married on this property.” “What?” I tensed, hot anger making me brittle. “I’ve been engaged for a month, that was the deal.” “But there are kids in the picture now. There’s no harm in moving up the wedding date so you can all live as a family, right?” “I’m not sure any of us is ready for that.” I definitely wasn’t ready for that. Marrying Carrie would be making a promise to her and the kids that I was incapable of keeping. He shrugged. “Then I guess you’ll have to wait another little while to get this here property.” I was beginning to think he was never going to sell me the property, had never had any intention of selling it to me. Maybe he’d only played along to this point to appease his sons. “I’ve met the terms of the deal and I’ve got your money. You can’t set new terms.” “Sure I can. You marry that girl here on this property and I’ll knock another twenty grand off my asking price.” I stood, caught somewhere between fury and despair. Maybe I should just move on, accept Bart was never going to sell me this property, and go somewhere else. The only problem was, my savings were dangerously low, my investors were muttering about backing out, and I was running short on
options. Plus…I looked around, at the view of the mountains and the golden fields around us, and I felt certain I’d never find a better place. “I’ll talk to Carrie.” I texted her as soon as I got home and asked her to meet me at her house after she got home from work. I promised it would just take a couple of minutes. She showed up just after five and I let her in. My palms were sweating and my heart was racing. Why was I nervous? None of this was real. “What’s up?” Carrie asked, her eyes on my chin. “The kids are hungry for dinner.” “I have a…A suggestion.” She raised her eyes to mine, her eyebrows high. “Maybe we should get married.” She took a step back, her frown severe. “Why would you think that?” “You shouldn’t have to take care of three kids on your own and we get along well. Living together was fun and easy, and it’s not like I’m looking for a real marriage.” She winced and I wished I’d prepared better, had thought of better words. “I want to help you.” She stared at me like I was crazy, and then her eyes narrowed. “You talked to Bart today, didn’t you? How’d that go?” Damn it. I was hoping I’d have more time to
argue my case, but I wouldn’t straight out lie to her. “He’s going back on the deal. He wants us to get married on his property, and then he’ll sell it to me.” Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “So all this, the pretending, it was for nothing?” “Not if you marry me. I promise I’ll help with the kids in every way I can.” “The kids aren’t a bargaining chip,” she said, venom in her tone. “And how exactly is this marriage supposed to work? We just pretend we’re happily married and then we divorce after what? A month? A year?” “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, but it won’t be forever. We’ll keep on like we have been, friends who share a bed and help each other out. It doesn’t have to be more than that.” “Too late.” Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. “What?” I didn’t want to understand her words. Didn’t want to be the asshole who put that pain in her expression. “It’s. Too. Late. I have…Feelings for you. Feelings that would only get more intense if we had a pretend marriage.” She held up her hands. “I know you don’t care for me. It’s not like you’re marriage material anyway, and you certainly aren’t the guy I see myself with for the rest of my life. A pretend marriage would be a horrible idea.”
She turned and stalked from the house before I could say a word. I dropped to the couch, my dream property gone. Only, I couldn’t focus on the property I’d lost or my next steps. I just kept seeing Carrie’s expression, the pain on her face. I did that to her. I hurt her. I’d lost her. She had every right to hate me. How could I not have seen that she had feelings for me? How could I not have seen that I’d fallen for her? Because I had. I’d felt it every time she’d walked away from me, I just hadn’t realized until now that every time she’d left me it was her absence making me feel hollowed out and lost. She cared for me, but only against her better judgment. I wasn’t good enough for her. I wasn’t the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And she was right. The right guy for her wouldn’t offer her a pretend relationship or a pretend marriage. The right guy would see how amazing she was the first time she crossed his path. He’d grab her and never let her go, never give her any reason to walk away.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Carrie I walked away from my house, the house where Cody was living, and I bit my lip hard and pulled in deep breaths. When he’d asked me to marry him… Just for a moment, I’d thought he meant it and, just for a moment, I’d wanted to say yes. Just for a moment, I’d pictured our future together, laughing and fighting and making love, and I wanted that more than I’d ever wanted anything. Reality had hurt like a bastard when it crashed down on my head. Of course he was only asking because he needed a bride to get Bart’s land. He didn’t want to marry me and saddle himself with a ready-made family. He’s not the guy for me, I reminded myself. He’s not the guy for me. Maybe if I told myself that enough times, I’d believe it. If only I could forget how sweet he was with the kids, how much he wanted to take care of them, even Simon had only gotten grumpier and surlier since Cody moved out. I squared my shoulders, wiped the tears from my cheeks and walked in on world war III in the living room. Jenny was crying, loudly, Kayla was
yelling at Simon, and Simon was stomping around and yelling at Kayla. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen them fight. I shut the door behind me and walked into the middle of the fray. I just stood there, hands on my hips and waited for all of them to quiet down enough for me to speak. “Kayla,” I said. “What’s going on?” “You always take Kayla’s side,” Simon said. “She’s the only one you really want. Why don’t you adopt her and send me and Jenny into foster care?” I knew Simon was going through an extremely harsh time and I knew he was speaking out of fear and heartbreak, but I’d been letting him get away with a lot, probably more than I should. “Nope,” I said. “I’m doing everything I can to get guardianship of and adopt all three of you kids, and I’m not going to change my mind about that no matter what you say or do.” I took two steps toward Simon. He bared his teeth and crossed his arms over his chest. “No matter what happens. No matter how difficult you are or how many tantrums you throw, you’re stuck with me until you’ve graduated from college and are out on your own. Then, you can choose to never see me again, if that’s what you want, but I will always want you in my life.” “You don’t mean that,” Simon said. “You’re just saying that to make Kayla want to stay.”
“Simon—” Kayla said. I turned to her. “Why don’t you take Jenny out to swing? I’ll have dinner ready in just a few minutes.” She nodded, scooped up a still-crying Jenny, and went out the back door. “Now they’re gone,” Simon said. “You can tell me the truth.” I sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to me. He sat, but he didn’t uncross his arms and he didn’t look at me. “The truth is,” I said. “I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I can adopt you and your sisters. I’m going to make sure you have everything you need and I’m going to make sure you get a college education. If, during the time you’re under my care, you choose to hate me, if you choose to be angry at me, if you choose never to love me as much as I love you that’s okay. I’m not asking for or expecting your love, but I will give you mine, unconditionally.” He continued to stare ahead, seemingly untouched by my words, and I bit back the urge to growl in frustration. I’d tried everything with him and nothing I did made him smile or relax. “What I will not do,” I said. “Is allow you to yell at me, disrespect me, or ignore my rules in my home.” “This is Cody’s home,” he said. I sighed. “I won’t tolerate rude behavior towards me or your sisters in this house or in any
house. If you’re rude or disrespectful, you’ll be punished as I see fit. That means you’ll lose privileges or you’ll be asked to do extra work around the house. Do you understand?” “Yep. Can I go now?” “No. I also think it would be a good idea for you and your sisters to talk to someone about your father’s death. I can be there with you if you’d—” He spun to face me, his face white, his eyes wide. “I didn’t mean to. I don’t want to go to jail.” “Jail? Why on earth would you think you’d be going to jail?” It was like he didn’t hear me. “I know how Daddy died. It was because he took too much drugs. I…I…He told me he was hurting and he needed more pills. I was supposed to tell the doctor I’d hurt my leg and that it hurt really, really bad. The doctor thought I had a bad sprain and he gave me some pills. I know you aren’t supposed to share prescriptions, but I gave them to Daddy and then he…He died.” I schooled my expression as best I could, but fury raged in my gut. What kind of parent put that burden on their own child? I took two deep breaths and faced Simon. Tears streamed down his face. “Honey, your dad died because he took too many drugs, he overdosed. But what he took, what caused his death, was not the pills in that bottle you gave him. He overused something else.”
Simon sniffled and wiped his nose. “Are you lying to me?” I shook my head. “No, sweetie. I would never lie to you about something as important as this. Your daddy used a drug that is administered with a needle, a shot. Not pills that are swallowed.” “So why’d he want the pills I got?” Oh, god, I had just said I’d never lie to him and yet I’d never wanted to lie to a kid more than I did in that moment. “Your father was addicted to those pills, Simon. He might have wanted to stop taking them, but they made him feel good and, eventually, he felt really, really bad if he didn’t take them, so he kept on taking them. That’s why he wanted your pills. Eventually, the pills probably weren’t making him feel as good as they used to, and he found something stronger, something he shot in his arm.” “That’s what made him die?” “Yes, Simon. It was nothing you did or gave him. When I said I wanted you to talk to someone, I meant a therapist, someone who can help you understand all the sadness you feel right now and can help you feel better.” He didn’t smile, but some of the tension left his small body. “Okay.” “Want to tell me what the three of you were fighting about?” He looked down at his feet, sheepish. “Jenny wanted to watch T.V. and I wanted to play a video
game. I…Um, I pushed Jenny, and then Kayla yelled at me for hurting my little sister.” He looked up, belligerence on his face. “She shouldn’t get her way all the time just because she’s littler than me.” “You’re right. You were wrong to push your sister, but it wouldn’t be fair for any one of you to get your way all the time. Maybe we should sit down tonight after dinner and come up with a T.V. schedule so that you can all have turns watching or playing games.” “Yeah,” he said. “That would be good.” “I’m going to heat up some dinner. You want chicken pot pie tonight?” “Could we have that homemade macaroni and cheese Miss Betty brought over?” “Sure. I’ll heat it up, if you set the table.” He hurried to the kitchen, his legs a bit too long and awkward for the rest of his body. I called Jenny and Kayla in, knowing it would take them a few minutes to get inside and get hands washed for dinner. Our little family was still a work in progress, one I had no idea how I’d finance, but I felt I was somewhat getting the hang of it and figuring it out. It might not be the family I’d always dreamed I’d have and it might not have come about the way I’d wanted it to, but I loved Kayla and Simon and Jenny and, already, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. It would probably be a long while before I had room in my life for romance or for
finding that perfect man I’d wanted, but I was learning to be okay with that, too. I may not have had much of a chance to be young or build the secure life I’d always wanted, but I’d never been truly unhappy and I wouldn’t trade the years I’d had with Harrison or the relationship I now had with him for anything. I was lucky to have such a close relationship with my nephew and I was lucky to have the opportunity to help Kayla, Jenny, and Simon, to watch them grow up and to help them achieve their own dreams. I looked out the window of the breakfast nook as the microwave hummed. I wanted to tell Cody about my semi-breakthrough with Simon and about what a monster Simon’s dad had been to use him that way. But Cody didn’t want to hear about any of that. He was probably looking for a new property, making a new plan for his winery. He’d probably be leaving town. Which would be for the best, I told myself. He’d always been an awful neighbor. *** I went to bed that night exhausted, worn out, and pretty sure I was failing. My success with Simon had been short-lived, he retreated into sulky silence and a snippy attitude for the rest of the evening. Jenny and Kayla weren’t in much better
moods. After the younger kids had gone to bed, Kayla had talked to me for an hour about how angry she was at her father for abandoning them in favor of drugs. She didn’t put it into those words, but she expressed her anger and her guilt for feeling anger. I just listened and told her it was normal to feel that way, but I heard her crying in the bathroom when I headed to bed. I gave her space and didn’t go barging in there, but as I slid into bed, I felt guilty and confused. Had I given her space because I believed that’s what she needed? Or had I given her space because I was too exhausted for another conversation and needed space myself? Harrison had been difficult, but he’d been one kid, he’d been older, and my main goal had been keeping him safe from himself. With Jenny, Kayla, and Simon, I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing or the absolute worst thing from one moment to the next. They were all so fragile and hurting so much, I didn’t want to cause them more pain or permanently damage them in some way. I was also worried about money, because I was now a single mom, trying to pay for a funeral and think about health insurance and college funds for three kids. Not to mention clothes, food, toys, books, braces, and whatever else they might need. I needed a budget and a plan, I might need a second job, but I was so tired I couldn’t wrap my mind around any of it. I knew I’d figure it out, there was
no other option, but I also knew it would be hard. It had been hard with Harrison, and he was just one kid. Now, I’d be going back to worrying about every expense, back to an empty bank account and the stress of waiting for the next paycheck, the stress of not being sure we’d make it. I’d have to sell my house, but I wasn’t at all sure I’d be able to afford Cody’s house. I knew my parents would help if I asked, but they were on a tight budget, too, and I wanted them to be able to enjoy their retirement. Just as my brain was finally quiet and I was drifting off to sleep, I heard a shriek from Jenny’s room. I dragged myself out of bed to go to her. I’d been getting up at least two times a night every night with Jenny since Cody left. I missed him most in those moments, not just because he’d been the one to get up with her, but because he’d seemed better at comforting her. I had no idea what he’d done, but he’d been able to get her to go right back to sleep, while I sat up with her for thirty minutes, holding her and rocking her and promising her it would be okay, before she’d finally go to sleep. When my alarm went off the next morning, I pushed out of bed, bleary-eyed and groggy, and pulled on workout clothes. My run was the only time I felt I had to myself anymore, the only thing that truly relaxed me and made me feel strong enough to be everything the kids needed. Kayla and the others were familiar with my routine, and I set
out at a good clip, trying to run from the stress and negative thoughts. I was rounding the final bend in my run, about a half block from the house, when Cody came running toward me from the opposite direction. My heart stuttered and I stumbled a bit, before I recovered. Images of his beautiful, bare body, of the way his hands felt on my bare skin, the way his arms felt around me, his easy laugh that had so often eased my worries, flashed through my brain, but I pushed those memories down and focused on my run, careful not to look at him. “Carrie,” he said, when he reached me. He spun on his heel and jogged along beside me. “I wanted to let you know I’m moving out of your place.” “Okay.” I wanted to ask where he was going, but I didn’t need to know. “You’re welcome to stay in my place as long as you want. The rent is paid until the end of the year.” I stopped. He jogged on for a few paces before he realized I wasn’t beside him and turned back to me. “I can’t accept that,” I said. “You will. Consider it payment for being my pretend fiancée.” My jaw dropped and I stared at him. Did he really just say what I thought he did? “Shit,” he said. “That’s not what I meant.
Please, just accept it. The owner said there will be an option to buy at the end of the year if you want it. You could sell your place and move into the rental permanently.” I stared at him, considering. The truth was it would be a tight squeeze for all of us to live in my place, and Cody’s house fit us really well. “Okay, but I insist on paying you back.” He grinned, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’d have to find me first.” He took off at a sprint away from our houses and I watched him go with a sinking heart. I knew it was over and I knew it being over was for the best, but a part of me had still hoped. . . It didn’t matter. He was leaving and I’d probably never see him again. *** That Saturday, I invited Mary Ellen over for a chat about real estate. I’d never really liked Mary Ellen, she’d always seemed aloof and snobby. She’d been a year behind me in school, and our paths rarely crossed, so I’d just judged her by my distant perception. After the dinner at Bart’s though, I’d begun to think my opinion of her had been unfair. I sent the kids out to the back yard and Mary Ellen and I sat down at Cody’s dining room table.
“I heard you and Cody broke up.” I tensed, expecting her to say something catty. “Yep.” “He’s a nice guy. And he seemed crazy about you…Maybe…just don’t give up on him, yet.” My gaze snapped up to hers. “It doesn’t matter. He left town.” She gave me a sly smile. “Is that what he told you? Funny, because I just saw him at Uncle Bart’s yesterday. He’s settling in nicely.” I narrowed my eyes. Was she about to tell me she and Cody had something going on? “Good for him.” “I’d love to bounce on that pogo stick, but he turned me down. Again.” She rolled her eyes. “Where are all the men I read about who are capable of casual sex?” Frankly, her frankness shocked me. “In the big city?” She sighed. “You’re probably right. I’ve got my fingers crossed that winery of his will bring in some fresh blood.” She raised her hands in the air and crossed her fingers. “He told me not to say anything to you, but I thought you should know he was still in town.” I was beginning to think Mary Ellen was speaking a different language. “Um, why?” “Because my cousin is over the moon about your break-up with Cody and I don’t want you
giving him any if he shows up on your doorstep. He is a dawg, capital D A W G, and you should hold out for Cody.” “I have no interest in your cousin. But trust me, Cody is done with me.” “Okay.” She shrugged. “Now that I’ve done my good deed for the day, let’s talk about your house.” After an hour and a walk-through of my place, I had my marching orders for getting the house ready for sale. It shouldn’t take much, Cody had done a great job with the flower beds so the outside was perfect. I had a week to get the inside ready and then Mary Ellen would be back to take pictures for on-line sites. I walked around the house after she left, feeling a bit nostalgic. It had been the first house I’d ever owned, the first place I’d bought with my own money, and I was sure I’d miss it when I was trying to make the mortgage payments on Cody’s larger house. I waved to Harrison, who was running around with the kids in an intense game of tag, and took a seat at the picnic table on Cody’s back patio. Harrison collapsed on the bench seat on the other side of the table. He panted. “Damn,” he said. “Those kids make me feel old.” I snorted. “You’re a baby.” “And you’re an old lady.” His words and his smile were teasing.
“Sure am.” I forced a smile. “Everything okay?” And because I hadn’t had another chance to talk to an adult I knew wouldn’t judge me, I spilled. “I may have had a few more feelings for Cody than a person should have for a fake fiancé.” Harrison’s eyes widened in mock surprise. “Yeah, wow, because that was never going to get complicated.” “Laugh it up,” I said. “I know I was an idiot about the whole thing. I just…I miss him.” “Want me to beat him up for you?” “No. It’s not like we could ever have a future together anyway.” This time, his eyes widened with real emotion. “Why not? He seems like a good guy.” He paused. “I mean, clearly he’s an idiot for letting you go, but he’s a good person.” “He is a good person, just not the right person for me.” “Because he doesn’t fit some ideal you’ve created from all the books you’ve read?” I rolled my eyes. “I just need a man who has a steady, dependable job, who’s home by five every night and who puts his family first.” “You don’t think Cody could be all those things?” “There’s nothing sedate or predictable about Cody,” I said. “The winery is his number one
priority and he doesn’t have any room for a family.” Although, while he’d been living with the four of us, I’d never for a moment felt him putting us second. Of course, he hadn’t had a winery to keep him busy, yet. Harrison shrugged, watching Jenny and Simon wrestle over the soccer ball. “Priorities change,” he said. “And so can life plans. You didn’t plan for your family to be three half-grown kids, did you?” “That’s different, these kids need me.” He frowned. “Maybe you need to spend some time thinking about what you need, Aunt Carrie. Are you saying you aren’t happy to have the kids?” I looked out at the three kids. Jenny had jumped on Simon’s back and she and Kayla were trying to tickle him into submission. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, but I’m not sure happy is the right word. I’m pretty sure I’m doing everything wrong.” He stood and came around the table to sit next to me. “I’m positive you’re doing everything right. Quit thinking so much and just enjoy the good moments. I’ll try to come around more often to hang out with all of you.” “You have better things to do with your time,” I said, thinking of his adorable girlfriend. “She can come, too. She’s part of the family.” “I’d love that.” I hugged him. “What do you want for dinner? I’ve got a million and one
casseroles in the fridge and freezer.” “Betty’s homemade macaroni and cheese?” “Ugh,” I said on a groan. “We’ve had that every night this week.” “You don’t have any left?” he asked, batting his eyelashes. “Simon told her it was the best he’d ever had and she’s been providing a steady supply. We just got a new batch yesterday.” “Great,” he said. “Go in and heat it up, I’ll hang with the kiddos.” My phone rang just as I stepped inside. I dug it out of my back pocket and answered without checking the caller ID. “Hi, sweetheart,” my mother said. “Do you have any plans this weekend?” I pulled the mac and cheese out of the fridge as I considered her question. Did I want to be available this weekend? The kids and I were going furniture shopping with Harrison’s girlfriend Frankie Saturday morning, but I hadn’t seen my parents in more than three months, so I could put that off. “Nope,” I said. “All clear. What’s up?” “Your father and I would like to meet the children. Do you think they’d be up for that?” “As long as it’s a short visit,” I said. “They’re still adjusting to me and the new house.” “Yes, of course, dear. We don’t want to monopolize your entire weekend. We’re planning to
arrive before supper on Friday and we’ll leave in the late evening on Sunday.” If it had been anyone else’s elderly parents, I would have suggested they stay longer, but my parents loved a good road trip. Even though they were almost twelve hours away in Florida, it wasn’t too crazy for them to make a short visit. “You can come in earlier if you want. I’m going to sell my house and move permanently into the one next door, so you could stay at my place and have your own space.” “That would be perfect, dear. We’ll see you early Friday, then. We can’t wait to meet the children.” “Love you, Mom.” “Love you, too, sweetheart.” I hung up and grimaced. My parents were good people, but they were a bit old-school in their child-rearing policies and believed children should be seen and not heard. And it had been a long time since they’d been around kids. I suspected that these three would overwhelm my parents more than a little bit. The oven beeped and I put in the macaroni and cheese and started the timer. *** That Friday, my parents arrived with smiles and bags full of presents. The kids were on their
best behavior and we had a lovely day together. My parents went back to my house immediately following dinner and missed the pre-bed screaming match between Kayla and Simon when Simon stole her diary and read it aloud to all of us. I calmed everyone down and got Jenny to bed. The older kids and I stayed up and watched a movie and, after they went to bed, I stretched out on the couch to watch HGTV and knit until I was sure they were settled. I woke up to sunlight streaming through the windows, my back sore from sleeping on the couch, and a knock at the door. I leapt off the couch and hurried to the door, trying to straighten the tangles from my hair and not trip over any of the toys on the floor. I couldn’t believe I’d overslept and Frankie was already here. I couldn’t believe Jenny hadn’t woken me up. I opened the door and found Cody, looking gorgeous and clean in jeans and a fitted t-shirt. He looked well rested and happy, like he hadn’t missed me at all. “Cody. What are you doing here?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet. “Do you think I could talk to the kids for a few minutes?” The kids. Of course he was there to see the kids, not to confess his undying love for me. “Why? Jenny just stopped crying about how much she
misses you two days ago. I don’t want you getting their hopes up about you being in their lives again.” His mouth set in a firm line and he shook his head. “I just…I didn’t say goodbye to them. I want to explain some things.” I was going to tell him no. It was on my lips to tell him to stop being so selfish and leave us all alone. “Mr. Cody!” Jenny flew by me like a shot and jumped into his arms. He caught her with a huge smile and pecked her cheek. “Hi, sweetheart. Are your sister and brother up?” “I’ll go get them!” She ran back into the house. A voice cleared behind us and I looked over Cody’s shoulder to see my parents. “Hi, Mom and Dad,” I said. “This is my friend, Cody. He just stopped by to talk to the kids. Cody, these are my parents, Franklin and Lily.” Cody stepped aside and made room for my parents on the porch. “It’s very nice to meet you both. Carrie has told me a lot about you.” My mother blushed the prettiest pink and my father stood up just a bit taller. Damn Cody and his unfailing charisma. “It’s very nice to meet you, too,” my mother said, shaking his hand. He and Dad shook hands and then jenny appeared with Kayla and Simon rubbing their eyes and still in
pajamas. “Hi, guys,” Cody said. “Would you mind having a quick chat with me? We can talk on the back patio.” “You going to tell us why you just took off?” Simon asked. “Yeah,” Cody said. “I’m also going to apologize.” The kids followed him around to the back of the house. I ushered Mom and Dad inside, started the coffee and headed back to take a shower. Unlike me, my father was an excellent cook and he got started on making breakfast. When I returned to the kitchen, showered and dressed in a lemon-yellow sun dress, I found Cody sitting at the table, laughing with my father, Jenny on his lap. My heart squeezed and my vision went blurry with unshed tears. He looked like he belonged here, like he’d always belonged here. Maybe Harrison was right, maybe I’d been holding on so tight to this ideal of what I wanted that I’d left no room for interpretation. No room for anyone different. Cody looked up, like he’d sensed me and slid Jenny off his lap and onto her feet. He stood. “I should be going. I’ll see you all later.” “Later?” I asked. Cody’s smile was a bit too smug for my taste, and I got the distinct impression he was up to
something. “You’re all coming over to my house later tonight for dinner. I think you’ll really like what I’ve done to the place.” I narrowed my eyes, trying to work up anger at him for inviting everyone without checking with me first, at my parents for agreeing to it before they’d consulted me, but I couldn’t find any anger. I just had sadness and the loss of a dream I hadn’t even realized I’d had until that moment. Cody walked out and I didn’t say anything to stop him. I ate breakfast with my family, went furniture shopping with Frankie while my parents watched the kids, and tried not to think about that evening or the pain it would bring.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Cody It took every bit of willpower I had to walk out of Carrie’s house and not grab her. Not pull her into my arms and tell her how much she meant to me. But I had to stick to the plan. She was worth the grand gesture. She was worth it all. I drove back to my place, what I finally thought of as my place, now that Bart had accepted my money and sold it to me. As the godfather said, I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. He was welcome there any time and he could have all the free wine he could drink, if I ever managed to get any grapes to grow. Bart was sitting on the front porch in his usual rocking chair and I heard banging from inside the house. I took a seat next to Bart. “How’d it go?” he asked. “I’m pretty sure she hates me. But the kids are on my side.” “Hate is good. It ain’t too far a leap from hate to love.” “Sure,” I said, lacking his confidence. “How is that obnoxious neighbor of yours?” Bart had moved
into a small retirement community on the edge of town and there was a lady next door who gave him nothing but trouble, according to him. “Ornery as ever. She got on my case just this morning for cutting down a rose bush in my front yard. My front yard. I told her if she wanted the rose bush she could have it, but she wouldn’t take it. Infuriating woman wants me to take care of the dang thing so she can enjoy the view with none of the work.” I laughed. “You cut it down anyway, right?” He rocked for a moment, staring out at the yard. “It’s a fine rose bush. Really isn’t that much trouble. Figured if it meant that much to her, I’d leave it there.” He sighed. “Not that she appreciated it. Got all flustered ‘cause I didn’t speak kindly to her. I left the damn rose bush there, what more did she expect?” “Sounds high maintenance to me.” He grunted in satisfaction. “What are they doing in there?” I asked. I wasn’t exactly flush, but the house had needed some immediate work and Bart had recommended some guys to do it cheap. They’d put on a new roof and replaced the plumbing where it was needed, but they weren’t the most reliable guys for showing up when they said they would. I couldn’t complain, because I needed the work done fast and they were the cheapest crew I could find. I was impressed by
the multiplicity of their skills. “I’m not sure,” Bart said. “You might want to check on them. They’re good boys, but they’re strange as a two-headed sow.” I hopped up from my seat and followed the banging to the second floor, where the guys had pulled down sheet rock and were working on the joists. “What are y’all doing?” Jersey, a tall, skinny guy with hair that stuck out in all directions like he’d stuck his finger in an electrical outlet, paused and looked at me over his shoulder. “Fixing the water damage, man. It’s not nearly as bad as we thought it’d be.” “That’s great,” I said. “But I can’t actually pay you for that work, yet.” The bank and my investors were footing the bill for the work I’d be doing building the winery, but the house repairs were on my own dime. My own very slim dime. If I could find some extra hours between building the winery and preparing the vineyard, I might have to get a part-time job. “We know, man,” Winston said. He was as round as his partner was lean, but his mullet was always neatly combed. “But you’re good for it and you can’t live in a house with water damage. Best we get this fixed up for you right now.” “It could be months before I pay you,” I said. “The new roof and plumbing pretty well bled me dry.”
“So, you pay us in a few months or you pay us in favors,” Winston said. “Favors?” “Sure,” Winston said. “Free wine, like you offered Bart, or a job here once the business is up and running.” “Why would you want a job here? You have your own business.” “We don’t like the hours,” Jersey said. “We’re night owls and don’t nobody want handyman work down at midnight.” “Nobody ‘cept you,” Winston said. “We figured you might need a couple of night time workers.” “I’ll think about it,” I said. “We’ll work something out. Just as long as you two understand I can’t pay you right now.” “Got it, boss,” Winston said. “We’ll be heading out about eleven so we can get some sleep.” “Sounds great.” Jersey and Winston’s preferred work day ran from midnight or one in the morning to ten or eleven in the morning. Humans were supposed to be diurnal, even night owls usually slept during the hours Winston and Jersey liked to be awake. I suspected scientists would love to study them. I headed back out to the porch just in time to see my brother pull up with my mother in the passenger seat and Aubrey and Jill in the back. My mother’s boyfriend had been unable to make it.
“You know them folks?” Bart asked. “That’s my family.” Bart actually got to his feet and smiled at my mother and brother and sister, shaking their hands and being some close approximation to charming. “Where do you want us to start?” Noah asked. “Back yard,” I said. May, who’d moved in with me two days earlier, burst out the front door and wrapped her arms around my mother. “I’m so glad you’re here,” May said, a little screech in her voice. “I’ve been going crazy out here in the boonies.” “You’ve been here for two days,” I reminded her. “And this was your idea.” She ignored me. My mother fussed over her like she’d been lost at sea and stranded on a desert island with only a coconut for company. May claimed she was here to get better at nature photography and to prove to my mother, and herself, that she had what it took to be a photojournalist, but I had a feeling this whole thing was just some way to make my mother feel sorry enough for her that she gave in and paid for her to go back to college. “How are you doing?” Mom asked. She wrapped an arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze. “I don’t have any clue what I’m doing,” I said. “Except trying to create money from grapes I
haven’t grown, yet.” I hated to admit vulnerability to anyone, but she was my mother and had an excellent head for business. She could also tell if I was lying and would harass me until she got to the truth anyway. “I can create money for you,” she said. “What?” “Let’s talk inside.” We made our excuses to Bart and I led her into the make-shift sitting room we’d put together. “Your father’s life insurance was for you kids,” she said. “So that you wouldn’t be stuck cleaning up any messes in his businesses, so you’d be able to walk away from the family business if you wanted. I’ve already given your brothers and sisters their shares. There’d be plenty of money there for you to get this winery up and running.” “I told you before, Mom. I don’t want his money. I know he wouldn’t want me to have that money for a winery he never believed in.” She placed a hand over mine. “You’re trying to live to your father’s standard, Cody, when maybe that’s not who you are.” “You’re saying I don’t have what it takes to make this business work?” It hurt to hear, but I wasn’t surprised. I knew what my family thought of me, even my mother. “Not at all,” she said. “I’m saying you have an enormous heart. Noah and Jill were grown when
our circumstances changed, and Jared and May were just kids. I’ve always felt the change hurt you and Jenna the most.” “Why would you say that?” “Because you knew your father before, when you kids were his whole world and he made time for you every single day. And you knew him after when the drive for success and more money became his central focus and he spent less and less time with you kids. I felt you were always trying to prove something to him, to make him proud, to make him see you again the way he once had. We had some knock-down drag out fights about the way he stopped making time for you kids, but your father was a determined man. You have to know, Cody, you must know that he was proud of the man you are. He’d be proud of the choice you’re making today. He’d want you to have that money.” I wasn’t going to listen to her lie to try to make me feel better. “Mom, he died because of me. He died because I screwed up and ruined his chance at peace, at retirement.” Mom paled and her gentle smile vanished. “Is that what you’ve believed all this time?” “How could I not? He was furious at me. I ruined everything.” She sighed. “I wish you’d have talked to me, Cody. Your father didn’t really want that property, I was the one pushing for us to buy it, for him to
retire.” “Why?” “Because his doctor told him he needed to slow down, Cody. The stress of his lifestyle and his poor eating habits were taking a toll on his health. I begged him to listen to the doctor, but to him a life of rest was no life at all.” “And then I threw even more stress on the pyre for him,” I said. “I pushed him over the edge.” My mother groaned, a smile tickling her lips. “You are so hardheaded. Why are all my children so hardheaded?” I just gave her a look, eyebrows high. My mother was the most stubborn person I knew. She was a sort of inversion of my father. When he wanted something, he went after it with everything he had and didn’t stop until he got it. My mother loved fiercely and, when she got what she wanted, she never, ever let go. “I have no idea what you are trying to say with your eyebrows,” she said with a sniff. “What I’m saying is that your father was only angry at you for about twenty-four hours and then he was relieved. He had an excuse not to slow down, not to take it easy, to keep running at full steam. It was his own pig-headedness that caused his death.” She pursed her lips. “I think he was probably past the point of no return long before I started wearing him down. I don’t blame anyone for his death, not even him.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry you lost your husband and I’m sorry you didn’t get to have your retirement and your horse farm.” She smiled. “I’m hoping you can help me with that, actually.” “Of course. Whatever you need.” I wasn’t sure what I had to offer, but I was willing to do everything I could to try. “I was so sure you’d say that that I’ve put my house on the market. I want to move in here. I’ve been setting aside money of my own to start a horse farm.” She looked around at the room we were in. “But I think renovating and running a bed and breakfast for a while might be a fun project for me.” I was speechless for several long moments as my mother just smiled. “What about Atlanta? What about Jonas?” She shrugged. “I’ve never loved living in the city as much as I loved that little house in the woods you grew up in, Cody. As for Jonas…I put my dreams second to help your father build his business and I won’t do that again. Not for anyone. If Jonas is serious about a relationship with me, he’ll make the effort.” “But a bed and breakfast isn’t your dream. You’d be putting your dream second to mine.” Her smile widened. “I don’t see why we can’t have a few horses here. All I’ve wanted was a few
horses I could ride and the opportunity to give lessons, to have kids around me. I miss having a house full of kids. I could do that here.” “At a winery?” I asked. “Not exactly a family oriented destination.” She shrugged. “I’ll give lessons to local kids and take winery guests on trail rides. The important thing is I get to be here with you and still get my dream. It might not look exactly the way I’d always imagined, it might be even better.” I didn’t have to think long and hard about my mother’s offer. Though I wanted to make my winery a destination to increase overall revenue, my real passion was making wine. Having someone as capable and hard-working as my mother to take over the bed and breakfast portion of my business was more than I could have ever hoped for. I hesitated for only a moment, wishing I had the money to offer so she wouldn’t have to use hers to make the business work, but I pushed that worry aside. What mattered was Carrie and the kids. I could accept help for them. “I couldn’t dream of anyone else I’d rather have run this bed and breakfast.” She grinned. “Thank you, Cody. Of course, I do expect to be given full reign over all design and remodeling decisions.” “I am planning to live in this house,” I said. “I think I should have some say.”
“Every room in this house will be a guest room. You’ll have to deal with decor you don’t love for at least a little while.” A shriek outside distracted her attention outside, where May was welcoming Jared and Jenna to our house of crazy. When she turned back to me, tears glistened in her eyes. “I loved your father, but I think the biggest mistake he ever made was throwing himself into building his business. He believed he was gaining wealth to give you kids better lives, that he was making the family name mean something, but I never stopped missing the man he’d been when we’d had so little. The business became his new wife, his new family, and I don’t think he ever for one moment regretted that. He never looked back. Making money and garnering praise for his business acumen made him…I don’t think happy is the right word, but it made him feel like the person he’d always wanted to be. It made him feel powerful and strong. I don’t think he ever understood that the best thing he could do for you kids was give you his time and attention.” “He was a good father,” I said. But I knew what she meant. I remembered my bewilderment as a kid when my father stopped being around, stopped showing up for my basketball games and school award ceremonies. I’d felt like I was no longer anything special to him, and I guess I had
thought I could earn his respect and attention by succeeding in his industry or exceeding him in another industry. Except now he was gone. “He honestly wanted the best for you kids,” she said. “And he’d want you to have the money he worked so hard for. Please take it. I’m so very, very proud of you and I want you to have every happiness.” What was it about being around my mother that always made me feel like a kid again? Twentyeight years old and her being proud of me meant more than all the money in the world. “How about you invest the money in my business. I can’t promise a good return, but I’d feel better about that than just taking the money.” “Done. Now, why don’t you show me around this place?” The house was enormous and it was a mess. I showed her the downstairs, the outdated kitchen, the library full of old musty books, the den with a collection of animal heads nailed to the walls. Upstairs, there were seven bedrooms, including the master, all in varying states of disrepair. As far as I could tell, Bart had been sleeping in the den with the animal heads. The third floor had a large bonus room and three other rooms that were currently being used for storage. “Hey, man,” Winston said, giving my mother a once-over that made me want to punch him. “That
your sister?” “Winston. This is my mother. Please keep your eyes and your hands to yourself.” Winston glared at me like I’d criticized his rather corpulent figure and turned back to what he was doing. Jersey walked over and offered Mom his hand. “Hi, Mrs. Reynolds. I’m Jersey.” “Very nice to meet you,” Mom said, not at all put out by the strange look of the guys. “Where’s the rest of your crew?” “This is it,” Jersey said. “I should get back to work, quitting time is in an hour. My mother gave me a wide-eyed look and hurried back down to the first floor. I followed with a growing sense of doom. “Cody, this is outrageous. How could you possibly…?” She shook her head. “I need to make some phone calls.” “Mom, don’t you want to do a bit more research, spend some time in the town, make sure this is what you want?” She glared at me, all fierceness. “Do not take that tone with me, young man. I am not going to allow…Just no. I am a grown woman and I’ve made my decision. You can do whatever you want to the land and the winery, but this house is mine.” She stormed into the kitchen, phone tight in her grip, and I smiled. It was good to have her there.
*** Noah handed me a beer and I took a seat next to him on the bench under the giant Oak tree in the backyard. “Do you know what you’re doing, man?” he asked. “I’m going after the woman of my dreams. It might seem crazy to you, but it feels right to me.” Noah nodded. He looked tired and worn out. He was the strong one of the family, the kid who’d never complained, just did what was asked of him and came back for more. I couldn’t remember seeing him look so defeated and morose before. “How about you? Still got that stalker?” “Probably,” he said with a shrug. “Aubrey’s leaving me.” “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t realize you two were together.” He turned to me, a bewildered look on his face. “No. She’s leaving as my assistant. She’s found another job. A better job, she says.” I felt sorry for my brother. I also understood what my mother had been trying to tell me inside. Becoming too focused on any one goal made you miss out on some great stuff. “Noah,” I said. “You’re a fucking idiot.” His bewildered look got a little hard-edged, like he was pissed. “Everyone keeps saying that, but they won’t tell me what the hell they mean.”
He was my brother and, though I was loyal to Aubrey, he was my fucking brother. “She’s a gorgeous woman, Noah, and she’s always there when you need her. She’s stood by you through some pretty heinous shit. She moved in with you when you had a crazy stalker. Some men would kill for a woman like that and you, man, you don’t even fucking see her.” His eyebrows went high and his lips curled like he wanted to laugh at me, like he thought I was joking. I shook my head in disgust and he must have realized I was serious, because his smile dropped. “I see her,” he said. “She’s my best friend.” “And that, brother, is why everyone keeps telling you you’re a fucking idiot.” He still looked confused. He just didn’t get it. He rubbed a hand down his face and shook his head. “Shit. This isn’t good.” I slapped his shoulder. “Most guys, the nonidiot kinds would say this is very good.” Noah shook his head. “I’m going to lose an amazing assistant. How is that good in your world?” I leaned in close, wondering how he could be so dense. “Because you don’t have to lose her. She could become more to you than just a friend.” Noah frowned. “No. She’s my best friend. We can’t…“ He looked at me, his expression lost and a bit desperate. “When we were at Mom’s—”
“Hey, guys,” May said, walking over to join us. “What’s the serious discussion about?” “Aubrey’s found a new job,” I said. “She’s leaving Noah.” “Ah. And poor little Noah doesn’t have a clue why, does he?” “Not a clue,” I said. I wasn’t worried. Noah was my big brother, the rock that never crumbled or swayed even under the beating of hurricaneforce winds. He’d figure this out and he’d be fine. Everyone except him could see how great he and Aubrey would be together, maybe her leaving was just the push he needed to see it, too. “Should I enlighten him?” May asked, her voice going giddy. She loved drama like a hog loved slop. “Explain to dear Noah what he’s been missing?” “Noah is sitting right here,” he said, teeth gritted. “I’m glad you two find my life so amusing, but it is my life and none of your fucking business.” He got up and stalked off. May sat down in his seat, unflustered by his angry tone. “He’s a little testy. Did he miss his nap today?” I smiled at my little sister. When she wasn’t complaining about being in the middle of nowhere, she’d been a huge help and a cheerful one. She’d been just the cheerleader I needed and she’d had some great ideas about how I could win Carrie back. I owed her a lot.
“I don’t think he’s had a nap in decades.” She smirked. “Or relaxed. Or had any fun. That’s why you’re my favorite brother.” I rolled my eyes. “I just heard you tell Jared on the phone yesterday that he’s your favorite brother.” Her smile widened. “Well, today you’re my favorite. Because you’re putting yourself out there, being brave and vulnerable and willing to change your whole life.” “I’m not changing my whole life. Maybe just slowing it down a bit.” “Exactly. I’m going to check in with Mary Ellen and see if she needs help with anything.” I watched her go and kicked up my feet, certain that everything was about to come together exactly as it should.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Carrie I rolled up the drive to Bart’s house and tried to calm my frayed nerves. Why had Cody invited us to dinner? And what was he doing here at Bart’s if Bart hadn’t sold him the property? A quiet hope flared inside me, but I tamped it down and reminded myself that it wouldn’t do any good to get my hopes up. There were cars parked all along the driveway and any hope I’d had that Cody had changed his mind, that he might want to date me for real this time with no ulterior motive, fizzled and died. I got out of the car, wrapping my sweater tight around myself. It was a chilly April evening and I couldn’t help wishing I was home, tucked on the couch with the kids, watching a movie. Kayla wrapped an arm around my waist. “It’ll be great,” she whispered. “Just wait.” “What? Do you know what’s going on?” “Carrie!” May burst out of the house and raced across the lawn to me. “You’re finally here.” She threw her arms around me in an enthusiastic hug.
She released me only to grab my hand. “Come on,” she said. “We don’t have much time, let’s get you inside.” “Wait. What about my parents and the kids?” “I’ll visit with them,” Cody’s mother said, stepping up next to me and laying a hand on my arm. “You just go on with May.” May dragged me into the house and up the stairs to a small room with water stains on the walls. Dilly stood in the center of the room, a frown on her perfectly made-up face and a dress bag in her right hand. “May,” I said. “What is going on?” “It’s just a party,” May said. “And we’ve gotten you the best party dress.” I pulled my hand free from hers and stared at her in silence. She was up to something and I had a bad, bad feeling I wasn’t going to like it. “It’s not a party,” Dilly said. “It’s your wedding.” “Dilly!” May said on a gasp. “You weren’t supposed to tell her.” I spun to face Dilly. “It’s my what?” This couldn’t be real, it had to be some sort of nightmare where my most cherished wish and dream was twisted to a horrible mockery of what it should have been. Just like my fake engagement. Dilly’s frown deepened. “He really does care for you, Carrie. As ridiculous as this is, and believe me I’ve told him it’s ridiculous many times, he
thought this would prove to you that he’s serious, that he’s fully committed.” “Right.” I spun back to May. “Or he’s run out of ideas for getting the property from Bart and this is his last-ditch effort. Nice of him to invite all of you to gang up on me.” “Carrie, wait,” May said. But I was already past her and running as fast as I could. It had been a tough week and now Cody, who clearly didn’t think he’d hurt me enough, was going to make sure my heart was well and truly shattered. I raced back out to the front of the house, but the kids and my parents were already gone. Since I hadn’t seen or heard them in the house, I figured they must be out back. I raced around the house and was greeted with the most beautiful scene I’d ever beheld. Fairy lights were strung on and between the numerous trees in the backyard and a white gazebo sat in the center covered in flowers. There were small white tables, also adorned with flowers, and Cody’s family, my parents, Harrison and Frankie were seated at the tables. Norma Jane and Betty even sat together at one table, though they were glaring at each other. Cody, in a suit and tie that fitted him like it had been made for him, stood in the center of the gazebo with a woman in priest’s robes. Cody turned his head and looked at me as though he’d sensed my presence, and his smile took my breath away.
This was perfect. It was better than anything I’d ever imagined. He was better than anyone I’d ever imagined. And it was all a sham. None of it was real. He’d never been mine and he never would be, not really. The realization cut through me like I’d been hit with an atomic bomb and I couldn’t stop the sob that escaped me. Cody’s smile fell and then he was out of the gazebo and running toward me. I wanted to run from him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave my parents and the kids. “Kayla,” I said, my voice as firm and as loud as I could manage, which wasn’t very much of either. “Mom, Dad, get the kids. We’re leaving.” Jenny, sweet Jenny, heard me and jumped out of her seat. “No, you’re getting married to Mr. Cody. He’s going to be our daddy.” My vision went red and a fury like I’d never felt before rushed through me. How dare he get the kids’ hopes up? How dare he tell them he was going to be their daddy without asking me first? Who the fuck did he think he was? Cody got close enough for me to reach and my hand flew out before I’d realized what I was going to do. It connected with his cheek with a loud smack and left a red mark behind. Gasps from the guests had my own face warming with embarrassment. I’d never hit anyone until I’d met Cody. He made me crazy. He made me into the worst version of myself. My anger returned when
Cody’s expression changed to a smirk. “Feel better?” he asked. “Can we get married now?” “Are you crazy?” I asked. “Are you certifiably insane?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mom and Dad ushering the kids away. I turned to watch them go. Jenny was in Kayla’s arms, sobbing. Shit, I’d just smacked her favorite person. I was going to win the award for worst guardian ever. If I didn’t lose my shot altogether as a result of this fiasco. “I just want to marry you.” Sincerity and fondness shone in his eyes, along with some other emotion I couldn’t recognize but that made my chest ache with longing. I wanted so badly for this to be real. “Does that make me crazy?” He smiled, like he thought this was an easily resolved situation and my anger was somehow cute. “I already told you I won’t marry you to help you convince Bart to sell you his property. You’re going to have to find some other local to play house with.” Finally, Cody’s smirk vanished and he frowned. “You think I’m doing this to get the property?” I felt like smacking him again. “Why else would you be doing it? You certainly don’t love me.” He took a step toward me and I took a step back. I needed to get away from him. I just needed to run. “Carrie. You’re wrong. I—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” I said. “Getting this property is all you’ve cared about. You haven’t been to see me or the kids more than one time during the past two weeks, yet you’ve got a new roof on the house. I think it’s very clear where your priorities are.” “Carrie, no. If you’d just listen…” But I didn’t listen, because I was already running away from him. I was running from him as fast as I could and I didn’t look back. Not once. And he didn’t come after me. *** I put the kids to bed and breathed a sigh of relief and sadness. Jenny had cried all the way home and for another hour after I put her to bed. Kayla claimed that Cody had just asked for their permission to marry me, but Jenny had built it up in her head, having no doubt that I would say yes, and assumed Cody would be moving back in with us immediately. Simon had stalked to his room and slammed the door behind him and even Kayla had been short with me. They might not admit it, but they’d been hopeful about how the day would turn out, too, and I’d let them down. I’d also revealed their hero as the kind of guy who would marry a woman to get a piece of acreage, but maybe they didn’t hear that part or, if they did, they didn’t
understand. My parents were seated on the couch in the living room when I walked in. I sat in the big comfy armchair and let out a sigh. I loved my parents, but I just really wanted to be left alone so I could have a good cry and move on. “We’re so sorry, sweetie,” Mom said. “When Bart called us and invited us to the wedding, we thought…Well, we thought our plan had worked.” I was so exhausted that shock washed over me in a slow wave as I took in her words. “Plan?” Mom gave my father a look. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Norma Jane told us that you and Cody would be perfect for each other. She’s the one who found out that Cody was looking for property and she convinced Bart it was long past time he sold his old place. It was Bart’s idea to use the property as leverage to push you two together and Dilly—” “Dilly was in on this?” Damn it, why did my chest hurt so bad? Was I having a heart attack? “It was up to her to push you and Cody together a bit, make sure he thought of you when Bart made him the offer on the property—” “Dilly dragged us both to Philistine’s. She very nearly got me fired.” My dad chuckled, he actually chuckled, until he met my gaze, which was likely burning with the actual flames of hell and swallowed his amusement.
“You have always been so dramatic, Carrie. You were never in any actual danger of losing your job.” I was so mad tears welled in my eyes. “You all played with my life, like…like I’m some sort of helpless doll, and you think it’s funny? Was I really making such a mess of things on my own?” “Of course not, dear,” my mother said, but she was biting her lip to hold back a condescending smile. She was lying. She and her friends just decided what was best for me and manipulated the situation. “All we really did was put you in each other’s way. It was up to the two of you to fall in love, to get to know each other, and see what Norma Jane and Bart saw right away.” “What’s that?” I asked, my throat tight. Why was it so hard to breathe? Could a person die of fury? “Why, that you two are perfect for each other,” Mom said. “Sweetheart, you take so much on your shoulders and you need a man like Cody to take care of you and remind you to have fun every once in a while.” “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” I was going to move away, that’s all that was left for me. It was the only way I’d ever get any peace and escape from these meddlers. Mom frowned. “Yes, and of taking care of everyone else. I’m not questioning your ability, Carrie, but it would be nice to see someone take
care of you for a change. You and Cody…You could take care of each other.” My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see Cody’s name flash on the screen. I hit ignore and turned my phone off. “Well, your plan worked,” I said. “I fell in love with him, but he doesn’t love me back.” The words came out against my will. I’d fallen in love with a man who’d never make me a priority, who didn’t feel anything for me at all. Dad cleared his throat and leaned back on the couch. “We really thought he cared for you. Even his mother thought the two of you were destined to be together.” “Cody’s mom was in on this, too?” Dad chuckled. “She forced him to bring you to visit so she could meet you, see if she agreed with Bart and Norma Jane. She did, sweetie. We all want to see you and Cody happy and we think you could be happiest together.” “Well, you were all wrong. You should have stayed out of it.” “I told you a surprise wedding was a horrible idea,” Mom said, poking my dad with one long bony finger.” “The surprise wedding was your idea, too?” I asked. “Hadn’t you done enough?” “Actually,” Dad said. “It was May’s idea. I’m pretty sure there was alcohol involved in the
planning, but it seemed like a romantic gesture and you are so darn stubborn—” A loud banging at the door made me jump. “I’ll get that,” Dad said. He was nearly giddy with relief at the opportunity to escape me. He pushed to his feet and left. He returned a moment later with May. “She wants to talk to you, Carrie.” “I’m sorry, May. But I’m exhausted. Can it wait?” “I’m sorry, Carrie. I screwed up, Cody screwed up, but it came from the right place.” “The place where his dream was more important than mine?” She tossed something in my lap. “Just read this. Read it and I’ll go.” I picked up the bundle of papers. It was a sale agreement for Bart’s property. Dated two weeks ago. Bart had sold the property to Cody two weeks ago, in exchange for money and some arrangement about wine and visitation. “He already owns the property?” I asked, confused. May rested a gentle hand on my shoulder. “He already owns the property. He wanted to make a big gesture, Carrie. He wanted to prove to you how serious he is. I convinced him to make it a surprise wedding. Dilly and I thought it would be romantic, but clearly it wasn’t.” “But why? Why would he want to marry me?” “I think he should explain that to you,” she
said. “Will you come with me?” I looked at Mom and Dad. I needed help on this one. “We’ll watch the kids,” Mom said. “You should at least hear what he has to say.” “Fine.” I was beyond pissed at them and likely never to forgive them, but I wanted answers. I stood and handed the papers back to May. “But I’m driving separately.” I followed her, having to drive a lot faster than I was comfortable with to keep up, back to Bart’s house. She parked and ran inside. Cody was on the front porch, sitting in a rocking chair. He’d changed into jeans and a t-shirt and he didn’t smile when I got out of the car and made my way over to him. My heart stuttered in my chest at the sight of him and I hated myself for still wanting him, for still loving him, even after everything he’d done. He stood and met me halfway. “I love you,” he said. “That’s what I should have led with at the wedding. That’s what I should have told you last week. I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart. I never suspected how it would look to you. I thought…I just wanted to do something big and splashy to let you know how I feel.” “I don’t need big and splashy,” I said, his words melting my anger. “I never have. I just need you to tell me how you feel. Maybe ask before you plan our next wedding.” He rubbed his temples like his head ached.
“Yeah, that probably would have been the wiser route. That’s the last time I listen to May’s advice.” “Maybe not the last time. Everything about the wedding was perfect. I think that’s part of the reason I got so mad.” I reached up and touched his cheek. “I’m sorry I smacked you.” “That’s okay. You can smack me anytime you want as long as you never run away from me again.” “I’m not sure I can promise you that. You can be pretty stubborn and obnoxious.” He took my face in both of his hands and leaned in until his lips were almost brushing mine. “Carrie Harrison,” he said. “I am crazy, insanely, certifiably in love with you and I want you back in my life and my bed. You don’t have to marry me, yet, but just consider letting me back in your life.” “Okay.” “Okay you’ll consider it, or okay you’ll let me back in?” I laughed. “You never can leave well enough alone, can you?” “Nope. Come with me, I want to show you a few things that may help you decide.” “I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen those things.” I put my hand in his and let him lead me to the right of the house where a minivan was parked. “After I asked you to marry me and you said no, the first time,” he said. “I realized you had no
reason to expect me to be a reliable husband or coguardian. I wanted to prove to you that I’m serious about you and the kids, so the first thing I did was trade in my truck and buy a minivan that will fit all of us, comfortably.” My heart leapt into my throat and his words became more than just words, more than just a confession of his love, they became a promise of his commitment to us, of his intention of being a part of our lives for the foreseeable future. I turned to him, ready to tell him what it all meant to me, but he spoke first. “I got a new roof put on the house so that you and the kids can live here. I got the plumbing fixed so that you can be comfortable here. I didn’t do any of it for the winery.” He sighed. “That’s not entirely true. Fixing up the house is a step toward getting my winery off the ground, but I need the winery to be successful for us, for our family, and not just for me. Not anymore.” “Now I feel really bad about slapping you. But why didn’t you just tell me all this before? Why the surprise wedding?” “I didn’t think it would be enough. I thought I needed more to convince you to stay with me.” “You don’t need to do anything but love me,” I said. “Love me and love the kids. That’s all we need.” “Oh.” His cocky smirk was back in place. “I’m
pretty sure I can do that.”
Epilogue Six months later
“Kayla,” I said, sticking my nose into Kayla’s room, sticking just my nose into Kayla’s room. She might be a brilliant student and a capable and caring big sister, but she was a slob and I didn’t want to know how bad her room had gotten, because I’d feel compelled to clean it and I didn’t have time. “I’m leaving in ten minutes with or without you.” Now that the sole responsibility for Simon and Jenny wasn’t on Kayla all the time, she’d been smiling more, relaxing, and acting like a typical teenager. She’d stopped waking up when Jenny did and was sleeping in later as the months went by. She popped out of bed, her eyes only halfopened. “I’m awake.” She stumbled toward the bathroom and I hurried downstairs to finish getting myself ready to go. We were still living in Cody’s house. He might have fixed up Bart’s house so we could live there, but it made more sense for Nora to have free reign to make it into a profitable bed and breakfast. I knew Cody hated to have us so far away, especially
when he worked such long hours at the winery, but it wouldn’t be forever. He had plans to build us a house on the property someday. The diamond on my left hand sparkled in the sunlight coming in through an upstairs window and I smiled. Cody had proposed shortly after his botched attempt at a surprise wedding, but I was in no hurry to get married. At first, it had been because we’d been waiting for the guardianship to be official and a new marriage could have prolonged that process. Now…Now I was waiting until Cody made some more progress on the winery. I wanted the picture-perfect wedding. I wanted the fantasy after our fake engagement and relationship. I wanted the most beautiful wedding in the most beautiful destination winery in Virginia. I wanted our wedding pictures to be the ones advertised on the website, the fantasy wedding that attracted others to his place. “Is she up?” Cody asked. He had Jenny’s small hand in his and was headed toward the front door, Simon in tow. Nora would understand if we were late to her Sunday brunch, but I didn’t want to have to eat cold eggs. Cody and I had eventually forgiven her and my parents, Bart, Norma Jane, and Dilly for their manipulative, pushy behavior, but we’d made sure they’d understood to stay out of our business in the future if they wanted to see us more than once a
year. They’d agreed to our terms and I’d found it difficult to stay mad when I was so blissfully happy with Cody. “She’s up, but she’s not moving very fast.” “Jenny and Simon are ready to go. If you get them loaded in the van, I’ll try to hustle Kayla along.” I sighed, grateful for him in more ways than words could express. I paused a moment to take him in, his expression was concerned, but happiness danced in his eyes. He was in jeans and a dirty t-shirt that clung to his muscles. Muscles I now adored. He was ready for a day of work on his winery, his dream, after brunch of course. “Sounds like a plan.” Somehow, we all made it to Nora’s place, as we’d all come to call the bed and breakfast, just as she was putting food on the table. May, who was still in town and helping out at the winery, was there, along with Jonas, who’d been a regular visitor to Nora’s place, and Bart. I’d just loaded my plate with eggs, bacon, and homemade biscuits when there was a knock at the door. Nora stepped out of the kitchen with a serving tray, Cody was cutting up a pancake for Jenny, and May and Jonas were having a quiet conversation that seemed serious, so I stood and headed for the door. My jaw dropped when I saw Aubrey standing
on the porch. Aubrey’s smile was weak and she looked like she might want to turn and run. “I hope this isn’t a bad time?” “No,” I said. “No, it’s…You’re just in time for Sunday brunch. Come on in.” As she passed me to come inside, I noticed that her shape had changed, her belly was now rounded and full. “I just…I had no—” “Aubrey,” Nora said, coming up behind me. “Come on in.” I looked over at Nora, who didn’t look at all surprised about Aubrey’s arrival. I raised my brows, but she ignored me. Aubrey, however, didn’t miss the exchange. “I take it you didn’t tell anyone I was moving in.” Nora didn’t look repentant in the least. “When we last talked, you weren’t sure. I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.” “Nora hired me to help out with the bed and breakfast,” Aubrey said. “She said there’d be room for me.” “It’s so good to see you,” I said. “Of course there will be room for you and your…Your baby.” I didn’t want to pry, but it would be weird to pretend I hadn’t noticed. Cody and May stepped up behind Nora, both with shocked expressions. Aubrey smiled and tears welled in her eyes. She swiped at them. “The baby is Noah’s. He doesn’t…I haven’t found a good way to tell him,
but I thought Nora should know she was having a grandbaby.” “When she told me,” Nora said. “I insisted she move in here so I could help with my grandbaby and she could help with the business.” Aubrey gave a wobbly smile. “I was fired from my previous job. They said it was because they were downsizing, but it was pretty obvious they just didn’t want a single mother working for them.” Nora wrapped an arm around Aubrey’s shoulders. “Come on inside. I’ll get you some breakfast and show you around.” I looked at Cody and the sorrow and disappointment on his face was palpable. As soon as Aubrey was out of earshot, he shook his head. “Noah should be here,” he said. “He should know about his baby.” “I’m sure she has a good reason for not telling him.” Cody laced his fingers through mine and walked with me back to the dining room. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” he said. “I’m afraid he gave her a very good reason not to tell him. He can be a bit of a dense idiot sometimes.” “I can’t imagine,” I said, the sarcasm in my tone heavy. “A Reynolds being a dense idiot? Must be a once in a lifetime occurrence.” He dropped my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me tight against him. “We
may be dense, but we learn from our mistakes.” He kissed my cheek and pulled out my chair for me to sit. I looked around the table as he sat next to me and my heart swelled with happiness. Family was never easy, but it was so worth it.
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I would love to know what you thought of The Deadbeat Next Door. Leave reviews at your favorite eBook retailer and Goodreads to help other readers discover my books. AND SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS If you purchased this eBook from Amazon, you can loan it to your friends and family. Don’t miss out on my latest book releases. Sign up for my newsletter at www.KatharineSadler.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Katharine Sadler lives with her husband in North Carolina. She’s been writing since she was ten and has wanted to be a writer even longer. When she’s not writing or otherwise gainfully occupied, she reads like it’s an addiction, exercises, skis whenever she gets the chance, and adds more books to her wish list. OTHER WORKS BY KATHARINE SADLER The Reapers (5 book series) The Reaping (Reapers 1) On a White Horse (Reapers 1.5) The Revolt (Reapers 2) The Rift (Reapers 3) Switch (Reapers 3.5) The Resonance (Reapers 4) The Resistance (Reapers 5) The Reapers Series Box Set Dying Dreams (Trilogy) Dying Dreams (Dying Dreams 1) Dying Innocence (Dying Dreams 2) Fairy Files (6 book series) Fairy on the Rocks (Fairy Files 1)
Pink Princess Fairytini (Fairy Files 2) Fairy with a Twist (Fairy Files 3) Wild Fairy Moonshine (Fairy Files 4) Bloody Fairy (Fairy Files 5) Fairy, Neat (Fairy Files 6) Remixed Fairy Tales (7 book series) Remington’s Tower (Remixed Fairy Tales 1) Francesca’s Slumber (Remixed Fairy Tales 2) Catalapa Creek (6 book series) The Deadbeat Next Door (Catalpa Creek 1)
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU You can chat with me at: www.KatharineSadler.com www.Facebook.com/KatharineGSadler www.Twitter.com/KatharineSadler www.pinterest.com/AuthorKSadler
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Thank you to my family for their unfailing support. And a big thank you to my husband/business manager for making sure I keep my priorities straight and keep writing and editing and publishing, even on the days I’d rather spend curled on the couch reading a good book. Thank you to my friend and beta reader Becky Kyslinger for letting me know when something isn’t working for her and giving me spot-on advice about how to improve the book. She also gets credit for inspiring the word friemily to refer to Chloe’s friends. Thank you to my sister, Carrie Mills, for allowing me to use her name for this book – which is the only thing she has in common with Carrie Harrison, a character constructed entirely from my imagination. Thank you to www.CoverYourDreams.net for the gorgeous cover on this and all my books.