TABLE OF CONTENTS Title Page Copyright Note To Reader The Love Series Blue Love Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty One Chapter Twenty Two Chapter Twenty Three Chapter Twenty Five Chapter Twenty Four Chapter Twenty Six
New Love Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty One Chapter Twenty Two Songs That Inspire A Note From The Author Dedication
Sad Love Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty One Chapter Twenty Two Chapter Twenty Three Chapter Twenty Four Chapter Twenty Five Chapter Twenty Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three A Note From MJ
True Love Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six
Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two
The Wrapped Series Wrapped In Silk Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Acknowledgements
Wrapped In Armor Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen Acknowledgements
Wrapped Always and Forever Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen
Burning Souls Series Stained Dedication Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen
Merged Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty One Chapter Twenty Two Chapter Twenty Three Chapter Twenty Four Chapter Twenty Five Epilogue
Forged Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One
Also by MJ Fields About The Author Excerpt from 27 Truths: Ava's Story
COPYRIGHT © 2016 MJ FIELDS
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of MJ Fields, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.
Published by MJ Fields Original Formatting by IndieVention Designs Box Set Formatting by Jersey Girl & Co. Design
Blue Love Copyright ©2013 MJ Fields New Love Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields Sad Love Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields True Love Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields
Wrapped in Silk Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields Wrapped In Armor Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields Wrapped Always and Forever Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields
Stained Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields Forged Copyright © 2013 MJ Fields Merged Copyright © 2014 MJ Fields
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This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
FBI Anti-Piracy Warning The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, in investigation by the FBI is punishable by up to five years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Songs mentioned throughout have been given credit and are the work of the credited artist, musician, or song writer.
NOTE TO READER Inside this box set is my very first works and it has become a readers favorite. The Legacy series, has three completed series and more to come. The Love series is a coming of age, new adult, contemporary series with a HEA, that is not typical. This series is raw and real. It will remind you of yours or someone you knows, first love. The Wrapped series is a single mothers love story with a younger man. It is contemporary, rocker, second chance, sexy suspense filled series that will have you on the edge of your seat. The Burning Souls series is a rocker and small town girls love story. It is raw, gritty, and suspensefilled as well. All three can be read as stand-alones, but characters cross over from previous books. If you find you don’t like the first series you can easily read the next without being lost or confused. It should also be noted that I have grown a great deal as a writer and I write in the first person for all my books whereas these read more like a movie. I am aware there may be some small grammatical mistakes that were not found in the several edit that these books have been through. Some people may not understand this and that’s fine, we are all different, but I don’t want to change a thing about them. This is where I started. This is where my unrealized dream was born. One year and three months after I began writing it became my full time job. In three years I have made the USA Today bestseller list multiple times, have an agent, and some of my newer work is published with Penguin Random House. I am so very blessed and it is because of readers like you who take a chance on a newbie who knew nothing except she could tell a story, has a great imagination, and could use Google to figure out how to self-publish. Inside this box set is my beginning on this crazy beautiful journey. Please enjoy. XOXO MJ
THE LOVE SERIES
BLUE LOVE Book 1
CHAPTER ONE Only three weeks until school started and Tessa knew something awful was brewing at home. Her parents, who always had little arguments in front of Tessa and her four siblings, stopped arguing over a month ago. Maggie, her mother, was busy organizing the house, which meant emptying every nook and cranny, including each closet and cupboard in the old farmhouse. Her father, John, was consumed with farm work as he was every summer, dodging rain and summer storms while the crop session was in full swing. Tessa and her brother, Alex, were already skipping out on helping due to fall sports practice and tryouts. Alex was playing football for the first time this year. He’d always wanted to try out, but things were very busy on the farm. Maggie insisted her husband encourage him. It was his last year in high school, she wanted him to fully experience it and Alex needed the distraction. He hadn’t been quite the same since the accident that left him without his cousins and best friends. Alex was devastated and broken. Tessa had her own way of coping with the tragedy. *** For the past two weeks, Tessa and her cousin Jade’s field hockey team had practice at the same time as the football players. They would wait for Alex and his best friend Ryan and watch all the freshly showered, shirtless hotties walk out of the school. The hottest ones always seemed to be wearing white baseball caps. The two girls would lean back against the truck and take in the view. School would be different this year. Because of state and federal budget cuts to the education system, some of rural schools in Central New York, had been closed at the end of last year. The girls called the newbies, “implants.” Tessa and Jade waited until the last of the hotties ambled out of the locker room, then headed to the pond to swim. They were splashing around, discussing the all the possibilities for the upcoming year, when Alex pulled into the clearing with a truck full of his teammates. “Here come the ‘white hat boys,’ Tessa.” Jade grinned from ear to ear. Tessa and Jade were lying on the raft in the sun when a bunch of guys swam out to the floating raft. They climbed up and shook the water from their hair. Tessa noticed a couple of them looking at her chest and became uncomfortable in the bathing suit she wore, the attention to her newly formed chest, unwelcome. She dove in, swam to shore, and quickly grabbed her shirt to cover herself. Jade followed behind but walked slowly out of the water, bending forward and then threw her hair back, pulled it over one of her shoulders, and rung it out. She smiled at the group of white hats and bent down to grab a towel, wrapping the lower part of her body. Tessa tossed Jade’s shirt to her. “You’re naughty, Jade.” “Look at them. I think naughty would be fun.” Tessa walked to the truck and jumped in the driver’s side. Jade smiled and waved as they pulled out. Tessa noticed one of them staring. He was tall, dark- haired with light eyes and donning the familiar white hat. She tossed back her hair and kept driving. *** The next morning Jade’s alarm sounded. It was the first day of her senior year and she had no desire to get out of bed so she hit snooze and rolled over before finally sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of her bed. She walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. You better fix that hair, she
thought, before started the shower. Jade turned seventeen in May. She was tall and well developed. Her hair was long, black, and beautiful. Her parents had divorced two years ago, and her mother lived an hour away. She lived with her father, a contractor. She was the youngest of three children including older twin brothers who would have been in their first year of college but had died five years ago in a horrible accident, an accident where she lost both of her brothers. A loss so great to that it tore the family apart completely. Her best friend and cousin Tessa was her rock, the reason she was still somewhat normal. She walked into the kitchen where her father was washing the pan he used to make pancakes. He kissed her head. “What else are you wearing?” he asked She was dressed in denim shorts that were a little too short for his liking, but perfect for hers. She had on a tank top with a silver flashy design on the front that clung to her body in all the right places. She chewed her pancakes and lifted the white sweater off the back of the chair to show him, then grinned. “That stays on all day,” he said. “If you want a ride, you’d better hurry up, Jade!” her cousin, Alex, yelled from the door. “Have a great day, baby girl,” Jack, her father, called after her as she took off. He ran to the door. “Hey!” he yelled, stopping them. “You forgot something.” He handed it to her through the window as she rolled her eyes at him. Alex laughed as they pulled out of the driveway. “He wants you to cover those things up, Jade.” She smacked him and sat back. They drove back to the farm to get Tessa. Alex was the same age as her brothers had been, but the year of the accident, Alex just gave up. He gave up on school primarily, and because of that, was forced to graduate a year later with his sister, Tessa, and cousin, Jade. *** Tessa was almost eighteen, she was medium height and she’d definitely developed over the summer. She wasn’t fond of her new body. She preferred the boyish build she carried last year. She had tried on several outfits the night before, all accentuating her new curves, all of the clothes were still in a pile on the floor at the foot of her bed where she had tossed them after trying them on. She had long, blonde hair that hung to her waist and big, sparkling blue eyes that people often mistook for contacts. She was the third in the family of five children. “Tessa honey, time to come down, breakfast is going to get cold. Alex gave you extra time to get ready by picking up Jade first so get a move on,” Maggie yelled up the stairs. Tessa and Alex were incredibly close, even before the accident, but since the tragedy they had also became the best of friends. She went and showered and was the last to get up, so today Tessa isn’t surprised to get a cold shower. She returned upstairs and grabbed the clothes she’d set out the night before. She’d picked knee- length, khaki shorts and a light blue baggy tee to cover up those stupid and unfamiliar mounds of flesh. As Tessa dressed she looked at the family portrait on her dresser and her unease about her body and clothes vanished and was replaced by concern for her family. Tessa’s siblings were as follows: Molly, her twenty- year- old sister who was attending community college and planned to get her bachelor’s degree when she finished. Alex was nineteen. Kendall was a fifteen- year- old tomboy, and Jake was fourteen. Her parents, Maggie and John Ross, had been married for twenty- one years and had been high school sweethearts. Things were not good between them at all. Tessa knew it was only a matter of time, as she had overheard several heated discussions between them. She ran down the stairs, out the door and got in Alex’s truck as the stupid smelly school bus, as Kendall and Jake called it, was stopped out front. Maggie stood on the curb taking pictures of her children
as they all left for school. Tessa smiled and waved to the camera as they pulled out. *** Tessa watched as Jade started to decorate her locker, she was putting in a mirror when she stuck her tongue out at herself and took off the sweater. Tessa’s locker was next to hers, as usual, since they had the same last name. “You’re remodeling already, Jade?” “Damn straight.” She laughed as she threw the sweater in the locker. “Too bad we missed cheerleading tryouts.” Jade said as they passed by the group of varsity football players. She raised her eyebrows and looked in their direction. “Too bad? Thank God! I wouldn’t be caught dead cheering for a bunch of Neanderthals.” The same dark haired boy from the pond smirked at her again. The one who had made her feel even more uncomfortable in her skin than she already felt. He was one of the white hat boys, the cutest. She didn’t understand why she felt her stomach flip and her face flush, why he made her feel so uncomfortable. The way he looked at her, the way he smirked at her, the way his eyes connected with hers and why was it so hard to look away. She almost felt sick to her stomach. Not a feeling she had ever felt before and it annoyed her. What did he think he was looking at? Lucas Links was an implant. He was also the captain of the varsity football team, a boy with a reputation. “Damn,” Lucas said, as he ogled Tessa and licked his lips. He waited the obligatory five seconds so they were almost out of earshot. “Nice eats.” “That’s my sister, Links.” Alex gave him a back off look. “Nice,” Tommy said grinning at Jade. “Step off, boys,” Alex growled. “You may want to watch it. You’re on MY team now.” Lucas slammed his locker. “I’ve been on theirs for seventeen years,” Alex hissed. “Ease up, Ross. Just enjoying the scenery,” Lucas chuckled. *** Jade and Tessa sat in the auditorium waiting for the Principal to make announcements and welcome the implants. Becca Brooks and the newest addition to the Brooks family Phoebe sat next to them. Becca’s family took in foster children and Phoebe was the newest addition to what Tessa thought was an amazing family. They were kind and accepting of everyone. Each person was made to feel like they belonged and were truly a part of the family regardless of the circumstances that brought them to the Brooks home. Mistakes were forgiven, love was given without expectation or explanation. She liked Phoebe immediately. They compared schedules and found out that they were all in Honors classes together. Becca and Jade had P.E. and study hall together. Tessa and Phoebe shared the same P.E. and government class. The football team sat in front of them, and as they sat down, Jade nudged Tessa and smiled. Tessa rolled her eyes and looked up. Lucas was staring back at her intensely. She turned away. “Tessa,” Jade said, “he was checking you out.” Tessa scowled at her cousin. Mr. Camp, the school principal, took the stage. “Welcome back students. As you know, we have merged with other schools this year due to state budget cuts. This school belongs to all of us, so let’s make sure we treat each other with respect as we all transition.” He gave the normal first day speech, went over the rules, and told them of upcoming sign up’s, games, the pep rally, and the fall festival. Jade saw Tommy look back at her. She smiled.
Tessa saw them exchange glances throughout the assembly and laughed to herself. She also noticed, when she allowed herself to look up, Lucas was staring right through her with a devilish grin. The assembly ended and the girls all sat and waited for the auditorium to empty as they discussed what activities they could do together. The four of them got along so well they wanted to spend their senior year doing as much as they could together. They all began walking out having decided that they would sign up for chorus. They stood in the sign up line comparing schedules. “Jade, that white hat was checking you out,” Tessa laughed when she glanced behind Jade at the group of guys huddled together. “His buddy was checking you out. They’re both totally yummy.” They finally got to the sign up sheet and Jade wrote her name on the list. “Jade Ross,” Tommy winked at her, “Now I have a name to go with that pretty face.” Tessa and Jade laughed as Tessa wrote her name. They turned to see Lucas staring at her. She rolled her eyes at him and walked away. “Tessa!” Jade scolded her as the bell rang. “Give the guy a break, he’s obviously interested in you.” “No thank you,” Tessa huffed and then made her way to her first class, English. *** Tessa was sitting in English, listening to Mr. Mandel give them a list of required reading, when she heard a group of implants whispering behind her. She heard the name, Lucas Links and she tried not to listen, she really did, but there was something that peaked her interest in the dark haired, green eyed, square jawed boy. She chewed on her pencil as she thought about him. He was tall and built, not lanky like the majority of boys her age. His clothes fit him faultlessly. His shirts hugged his pecs and biceps just enough that you knew they were there. And his ass…. hmm, football pants looked great on him but his jeans rested perfectly on his hips. He had the nicest ass. Get a hold of yourself! She leaned back and listened. “He’s so fine…have you heard what he did in the storage closet…” “I heard he could make a girl orgasm just by talking to her…” “I am going to have him just once before graduation. Since he and Sadi split up he’s on the market, fresh meat…” “Speaking of meat I heard that boy was hung…” Tessa’s chair tipped back. She grabbed her desk, barely catching herself from falling on her ass. Serves you right Tessa, she thought to herself. She looked around to see who may have witnessed her moment of idiocy. No one, thank GOD. *** As seniors, Jade and Becca were allowed to spend Study Hall outside on the quad. They sat under the tree at the far end and had just opened their books when Frankie and Mark, both juniors, came over. “Ladies, looking fine this year.” “Hey, Frankie.” Jade smiled. “Jade.” Tommy walked up behind Frankie narrowing his eyes as he looked at him. “Is this guy bothering you?” Jade looked down. Holy cow. “Jade, you don’t want to play with the little soccer boys, now do you?” Tommy continued without waiting for an answer. “Can I get your number? You know, so I can make sure these boys aren’t bothering you.” “I want your girl Tessa’s number,” Lucas’s eyebrow raised slightly as he walked up next to Tommy.
“Jade, can you give those to us please?” Tommy batted his eyelashes coyly at her as he wet his lips. She tried to appear cool. “Sure, since you asked so nicely. Got a pen?” He winked. “I’ll always ask you nicely.” She blushed and looked down while she wrote. He slowly took the paper out of her hand and slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans. He brushed into Frankie as he walked away. “Douche bag!” Frankie said under his breath. “What did you just say?” Lucas turned around. “I said DOUCHE BAG!” Frankie stepped toward him. “Let’s go, BITCH!” Lucas growled. Tommy grabbed the back of his shirt, and tried to pull Lucas toward him. “Not on the first day, let’s go.” “Please, just walk away,” Jade said to Lucas. “You owe me, Jade, for not kicking that punk’s ass,” Lucas yelled as he stepped away. “Na dude, she’s saving yours.” Mark smirked. The bell rang as Lucas and Tommy walked away. “Call me!” Frankie yelled in his best girl voice holding his hand to his ear mocking Tommy and Lucas. The Frankie and Mark were harmless. They were friends. They’d helped out on the Ross farm on weekends and over the summer. Neither of them had great home lives but they seemed to be breaking the mold that most kids in their situation can’t seem to overcome. Jade and Becca had known them forever. Not always the most appropriate acting crew, but lots of fun. Jades phone immediately chimed alerting her of a text message. - Is this the pretty girl…T - Who is this? - You’ll soon find out…T Jade laughed out loud as she walked toward her locker and saw Tessa. Tessa took her phone from her pocket and read the message she’d just received. - Tessa Ross, you’re lovely... LL Jade walked up to Tessa and saw her looking at her phone. “Did you get a message?” “Yeah. Weird. I have no idea who it is?” She handed the phone to Jade who was laughing. “It’s from Lucas. He asked for your number!” she giggled. “And you gave it to him?” “Tommy asked for it, nicely, so I gave him both of ours.” “Jade, seriously?” Tessa turned and walked away. Tessa had never dated, had never been attracted to a boy. At the time in her life when most girls her age became interested in dating she was trying to help Alex and Jade through the loss. Helping others always made Tessa feel strong. Ignoring her pain and allowing herself to feel others pain and help them became her way to cope. She didn’t understand or like the way she felt when Lucas looked at her. She didn’t like that for some unknown reason he made her feel a weakness she had never felt and a vulnerability that made her anxious. There was something about him that unnerved her and she did not have the time or the luxury to be weak. Not now when Alex and Jade finally seemed to be breathing again and not with the dark cloud that seemed to be hanging over her family. The rest of the day passed in a blur, and Tessa happily headed for the locker room after the last bell,
ready to work out her first day stress on the hockey field. She compared notes with Jade and Phoebe while they changed, then headed outside They all walked passed the football players and cheerleaders. “Nice skirt, pretty girl.” Someone yelled. Jade flipped them off and kept walking as the boys cat called after them. “Damn Tommy, was that your girl?” Lucas asked pretending to be shocked. “You’re breaking my heart, pretty girl,” Tommy called after her and dropped to his knees. Jade turned around and smiled before walking away. *** They ran the perimeter at the state park that bordered the school’s property, including the one hundred plus stairs, two times. “This is like basic training ladies!” Coach V yelled at them. “It will show us who is varsity field hockey material and who isn’t. If it’s not for you — don’t bother coming back tomorrow! Half of you will make it through the next two weeks and the others will walk away. It’s not for everyone. We’re looking for skill and heart. That’s a wrap, see you all tomorrow.” He excused them and they walked back to the school. Tessa and Jade showered, dressed, and walked out to the back parking lot to see if Alex was there. He had already left to go home. Suddenly, they heard a car start up and race toward them. “You crushed me, pretty girl.” Tommy shouted from Lucas’s car as they pulled up next to them. Jade laughed as Tommy jumped out of the car shirtless. He held his heart and fell dramatically to his knees. He had a kind smile. Tessa’s phone vibrated and she grabbed it from her bag. A message had popped up: - You look hot Tessa…LL She rolled her eyes, ignored it, and put the phone in her bag. “Is that how it’s gonna be, Tessa?” Lucas leaned toward the window and flashed his perfect white half- smile. “Oh, I’m sorry was that from you?” Tessa asked sarcastically. “You’re not used to this kind of attention, are you?” He asked, trying to hide his amusement. “You need to get used to it, Tessa. I’m going to be watching you.” “Sounds kind of stalker—ish, LL.” “No Tessa, just someone who admires your assets.” Lucas looked her up and down. “Wow, does that normally work for you?” She turned away, annoyed and embarrassed. She crossed her arms over her chest. Stupid boobs! “Jade, you ready?” Jade was kneeling down laughing at Tommy. “Can we give you ladies a lift?” “Sure. We were going to walk to Tessa’s house, but now I guess we don’t have to.” “Thanks for accepting.” She followed him to the car. “Looks like you’re up here with me Tessa Ross.” Lucas leaned over and pushed the door opened. She got in and buckled her seat belt, crossing her arms over herself. Tessa looked back at Jade and saw her laughing as Tommy pointed to the clouds through the side window resting his head on her shoulder. Tessa turned and looked out the window, secretly wishing she could crawl out of it. They drove down Main Street and Tessa saw Lucas’s eyes freeze on the sidewalk. When she followed his gaze, she saw a blonde looking at them in the car. “Oh, shit. Don’t ask questions, just bend down and hide.” Tessa did, waiting there till he told her it was okay to sit up. “Sorry, Tessa. Crazy ex.”
Tessa glared at Lucas: “That won’t happen again.” “That cloud looks like a monkey,” Tommy said form the backseat. “Do you like animals, Jade?” “Yes, Tommy, I do. Why?” “Just wondering. I want to know everything about you. You’re perfect on the outside. I just want to know you. Is that alright?” “I guess so. Since you asked so nicely.” “I told you, Jade. I always will.” Jade tapped on Lucas’ shoulder. “Could you pull up this road and let us out? I don’t want my aunt and uncle to get upset about us riding with you guys.” Lucas pulled over, reached across the car, and pushed the release on Tessa’s seat belt. His hand lingered on her leg for a moment before she started to get out. “I think you’re hot. You’d have to agree I’m not hard on the eyes either. Just think about it. I would love to spend time with you, Tessa Ross.” He squeezed her hand and she jumped out. “Thank you for the ride.” Tessa closed the door and waited for Jade. “Come to my game this weekend?” Tommy asked Jade. “My cousin plays. Of course I’ll be there!” “Oh, that’s right. Well, when I make a touchdown and hold my hand like this,” he grinned making his fingers into a J, “you know I’ll be thinking of you, pretty girl.” She laughed as she walked toward Tessa. “He’s SO cute and funny, and he really likes me!” Jade was grinning ear to ear. She talked the whole way home about the J when he made a touchdown and how he called her pretty girl. They walked into the house and their eyes immediately went to the suitcases in the kitchen. Jade gave Tessa a questioning look. Tessa did what she always did, acted unaffected, minimizing the stress it may cause Jade to see her show emotion. She just shrugged her shoulders and let the numbness overtake her. She knew it was coming but didn’t think it would be this soon. She also knew that she needed to be calm and strong, for Jade, for Alex, for everyone. But could she? She was relieved when Jade called her dad for a ride. “I’m here in the barn with John. Meet me at the truck.” Tessa heard his voice break through the silence. Jade Hung up, “Dad’s waiting outside. Call me later Tessa.” Jade gave her a hug and walked out. *** Tessa’s parents asked all the kids to sit down at the table. Her father stood in front of them, and placed a sad smile on his face. Her heart immediately hurt. Things had changed between her parents; the playfulness between them had ended some time ago. She had caught her mother crying in the bathroom more than once, and deep down, she had known that the thorough cleaning was not the normal organizing of the house that took place in the spring. Tessa‘s heartbeat quickened. She wanted to run. She wanted to avoid what she knew was coming. Her father took a deep breath and told them that he and their mother needed a break from one another. That it had nothing to do with them, their children. Tessa’s mother had an apartment about ten miles away and was going there tonight. The kids were going to stay at home for the week so they could settle into the new school year. Her father fixed his eyes on Tessa. Although over the past few years she had been a rock it was no secret that when she allowed herself to feel, she became a bit hard to handle. Even she was aware of it. She could feel her breaths become harder and faster. He started talking again. The children didn’t get to, or have to choose who they stayed with. There was no discussion or choices about this, as in most cases — the adults in the situation made the decisions. Maggie was going to get the apartment set up and ready
for the weekend. For the next two days they were definitely staying at the farm, at home. After that a firm schedule would be put in place. Kendall and Jake cried but the others said nothing. *** Tessa put her shoes on and headed outside. She walked behind the barn, then began running down the dirt road between the corn fields as fast as she could to the edge of the woods. She started down the trail and began to cry. Hypocrites! One love, one marriage, and family first. She had tried her whole life to live up to their expectations and now this. “What the fuck!” she screamed. It felt good. Freeing. She sat next to the waterfalls; she threw stones and watched the water crash down over the rocks. Ironic. Even her favorite spot in the world couldn’t make this right. Finally the sun started to set behind the towering pines. Tessa decided to head back up the trail toward home. She was thankful that she was so exhausted field hockey and only hoped she would be able to pass out. To fall asleep so that she would not break down in front of Jake and Kendall. They needed her now more than ever. She needed to be strong. When she reached the edge of the woods she saw her sister, Molly, crying as her boyfriend Cory, held her. She cleared her throat loudly as she walked out of the woods. “You okay, Tessa?” Cory asked. She nodded yes and started to jog home. She was glad Molly had Cory. Tessa walked in the house and grabbed her phone. Three missed calls from Jade and two text messages. She ignored them all and started the shower, her third today. She got out, wrapped a towel around her head, grabbed her robe, and ran upstairs to the room she shared with her sisters. She threw on a tee shirt and pajama shorts and walked downstairs into the living room. Kendall sat on the couch with Jake, and her Dad was on the phone. She wedged herself between Jake and Kendall, so that she could sit between them. They both had red eyes, and they snuggled into her as she hugged and kissed them. “So crazy cousin Jade has called three times, I think she thinks we are really upset. We should take a picture of us making super silly faces and send it to her so she doesn’t worry,” Tessa said. They smiled and took about twenty crazy- faced pictures and sent them all to Jade. She texted right back. - Glad to see you’re all still nuts, see you in the morning “Can we sleep in your bed, Tessa?” Kendall asked. “Well, that may be a little tight, but maybe we could all get our sleeping bags and sleep on the deck,” she said. “Could we really, Tessa? On a school night? Won’t Dad be mad?” she asked. “Look at him. He won’t even notice,” she said forcing a smile so that the kids could not sense her sadness. “But that’s why this is going to be so cool,” she laughed, tickling them. *** Jade sat on her bed looking through the messages Tessa had sent. She knew that Tessa must be hurting, but Tessa would keep herself busy taking care of the kids. She would be crushed if they were. She couldn’t help herself. Tessa was all heart. Jade received a text message, it was from Tommy. - hey pretty girl, I was just thinking about u. - what were you thinking?
- about how much fun I had with you, you are a lot of fun to be around. - yes, yes I am :) - I’d like to take you out this weekend…unless you already have a boyfriend - I don’t know, I’m a pretty busy girl…no boyfriend…do u have a girlfriend - not yet…working on it - well if she’ll be upset by you taking me out, I don’t think you should take that chance - Oh Jade I’m ready to take that chance - I’ll check my schedule, time for bed, very tired - Sweet dreams pretty girl - they will be now Wow, she thought, he’s so perfect, cute, funny, athletic, and obviously into hot chicks. She fell backwards laughing and kicked her feet in the air. He’s working on it. It’s going to be a great year, she thought as she rolled over and turned out her light. *** Tessa lay on the deck looking up into the clear starry sky and then back at Jake and Kendall who were sleeping when her phone chimed. Assuming it was Jade she grabbed it. - Tessa Ross, do you know how gorgeous you are? I don’t think you do. I want to get to know you much better. If I’m wasting my time let me know…LL She stared at the phone, reading the text over and over again. The familiar warmth she now felt when Lucas was around returned and for a moment she allowed herself to be happy. That moment ended when she heard Jake whimper in his sleep. They needed her. She didn’t have time for teenage stuff and she definitely didn’t want to end up in the future where her family was at present time. Why bother? She threw the phone on the table. She tossed and turned until finally giving into her desire. She grabbed her phone and read it again. He was SO pushy.. But he was cute, even without the white hat. I can’t do this now. He made me hide from that random girl on Main Street. What the hell am I even considering this for? Well at least it takes my mind off this train wreck at home. She fell asleep. Tessa woke up remembering her dream. He was smiling at her in her dream, and he kissed her. She ran her fingers over her lips hoping that it would feel the same as the kiss in her dreams did. Warm, soft, and sweet. In her dream she kissed him back and she remembered feeling happy. The look in his eyes was kind in her dreams, not like the reality. She had a ring on her finger. She closed her eyes picturing the smile she saw on her face and the one he gave her in return. She kept her eyes closed as she pictured his face and his smile. “Tessa?” She looked over at Kendall, “Good morning.” “Did mom come back?” Tessa shook her head no, forced a smile, and stood up, “Which means extra chocolate chips in your waffles. Lets go.” Jake jumped up, “Me too?” “Of course you too. Go get dressed and brush your teeth. I’ll get the blankets and pillows.”
She watched them both bound through the door to get ready to face the day. She closed her eyes and tried to picture him again. When she couldn’t she shook her head and laughed at the silliness and then laughed at her dream. What was that about? She wondered as she walked in the house to get ready for school.
CHAPTER TWO Jade woke and jumped in the shower; she got out and dried her hair. She ran down to her room and tried to find something to wear. She finally settled on a denim shorts romper and a short black cardigan, she grabbed black cowgirl boots and stepped into them. She looked in the mirror and knew she looked good. Her father yelled for her to wake up as she skipped into the kitchen and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Good Morning, Daddy.” “You’re awfully chipper this morning.” “Excited about school. I think it’s gonna be a great year.” Jade smiled. “You have a lot of classes with Tessa this year?” “I do, and field hockey,” Jade said. “How is Uncle John?” “He’s hurting, and it’s a very busy time of year for him. I’ll be there a lot so I’m hoping you can meet me there after practice for a couple weeks.” “Sure, I’d love that,” Jade beamed. She loved the farm and all her cousins. Sometimes it got lonely at home. A horn honked. It was Alex. She grabbed a banana, kissed her Dad, and ran out the door. Jade arrived at school early and walked in with her cousins. “I’ll be up in a minute,” Tessa said as she walked towards the locker room. Tommy was standing at the door waiting for her. “Good morning,” he said. She blushed, waved and started up the stairs, taking her time to hear what Tommy was saying to Alex. “Your cousin is very cool.” Alex voice was angry. “You better back off, man.” “Sorry, I have no bad intentions. I just think she’s a cool girl.” Jade covered her mouth so they wouldn’t hear her giggle. Then she took the stairs two at a time knowing they would be coming up the stairs behind her and not wanting to get caught. Tessa walked to her locker and Jade was all smiles. She reached into her Vera Bradley bag and grabbed her phone. There was a new message from Tommy. She giggled as she read it out loud. - uh oh, the cousin is NOT happy pretty girl. - what did you do?!?!?! - nothing…just told him that I thought u were cool. - Well he should know that already, lol The bell rang, signaling the start of the day, and Jade turned her attention to her teacher at the front of the class. Throughout the day, Tommy and Jade texted back and forth, while Tessa continued to ignore Lucas’s texts. The girls walked in with their lunch trays and passed Alex. Tessa heard Mike and him talking. “How are you guys doing?” Mike asked. “Fine, just busy,” Alex said. “After practice we need to get the hay in the barn. Not much got done yesterday, ya know.” “We can help,” Mike offered. Alex looked relieved. “That would be great.”
Tessa smiled and patted Mike’s shoulder as she walked by to their table. They sat listening to Jade read texts she had received from Tommy. She was freakishly happy. A moment later Tommy walked in and bent over Jade’s shoulder and grabbed a carrot off her tray. “Hey, pretty girl,” he said as he shoved the carrot in his mouth and winked at her. Lucas sat next to Tessa and Tommy next to Jade. Holy awkward, Tessa thought. Lucas smiled and whispered, “Your phone broke Tessa?” “Nope, just been busy,” she said avoiding eye contact. The blonde from the street, Sadi, and the cheerleaders walked in, glaring at Tessa and Becca as they walked by “What’s going on, guys? Sitting at the kiddy table now?” Sadi hissed. Tommy smiled, “Hey girls, this is Jade.” “Seriously?” Sadi said. She glared at Jade and walked away. “Nice meeting you, um… ladies,” Phoebe yelled after them. They all laughed. “So Jade, what do I have to do to win your cousin over?” Tommy asked in a loud whisper. “Good luck,” Jade giggled. “No one will be worthy of Jade. She’s the princess,” Tessa smirked at Tommy. “And how about you, Tessa? How does one win you over?” Lucas asked. Becca and Phoebe turned quickly and looked at Tessa; she hated that she would be questioned about this later. Tessa stood as the bell rang and glared at Lucas. He laughed. She walked past him and dumped her tray and felt his eyes boring holes into her as she exited the cafeteria. *** Lucas and Tommy stayed to finish their lunch. Lucas turned to see Sadi staring at him. His eyes narrowed in annoyance at his ex- girlfriend. He dropped the rest of his sandwich on the tray and he and Tommy got up and walked out. At the end of the day Lucas and Tommy were on the fields standing on the sidelines waiting for their coach when the field hockey team walked out of their locker room. Lucas watched Tommy smiling at Jade, and she smiled back. “It’s a hot one boys make sure you keep hydrated,” Coach yelled as he walked onto the field. “Head in the game and not on the ass, Tommy,” Lucas patted his best friends back and directed him to the field. He looked towards Tessa only to see her look quickly away from him. He shook his head and smiled. “Head in the game and not on the ass,” Tommy repeated his words to him and they laughed as they walked onto the field. When practice ended, Lucas and Tommy walked into the locker room. They overheard Alex talking to some teammates about the hay they were going to be unloading and Tommy offered him help. “No fu...” Ryan, Alex’s best friend started, but stopped himself. “Sure man, we could get it done much faster with extra help.” Alex smiled. Lucas and Tommy said they would be right up. Alex laughed, “Those two won’t last five minutes.” Lucas overheard Alex. He ignored what he normally would have confronted and was even more up to the challenge. He now had two people to prove wrong. On the farm all the boys all piled into the truck and moved hay wagons around getting them set up to make the transitions between wagons smoother. There were eight wagons to unload before dark. *** Tessa and Jade walked up the hill from town after practice. It was a very hot fall day. As they got
closer they saw the vehicles in the driveway. Tessa’s Dad met them at the door. “Hey girls, you want to go get some jugs of water and cups? Alex brought some hay help. We may have to feed them. There’s a lot of work to be done.” “Wow, there’s a lot of cars here. No way, Tessa — is that Lucas’s car?” Jade asked. “I think so.” She took a deep breath. She did not want to be around him. Lucas was on her mind far too much, like Eden’s apple. Kendall and Jake ran out and hugged their sister. She grabbed them and kissed them. “How was school?” They told her about their day as she walked in to the pantry to get the water jug as she listened to Jake go on and on about gym class and getting first place in the football throw. Tessa gave him five and handed Jade the jug to fill and walked to the fridge to pull out hamburgers and hot dogs to grill later. “Kendall and Jake, will you guys go out back and grab a couple dozen ears of corn?” Tessa asked as she walked out into the mudroom and grabbed the bushel basket. She watched them as they ran, carrying the basket between them. “What’s going on out there?” Molly asked as she walked out of the family room. She was going back to her apartment in the morning and had stayed in town while Cory was home. “We have to feed and water the dogs.” Tessa rolled her eyes and Molly laughed. The first load was done, and Jade and Tessa carried out the big green water jug. Alex, Mark, Frankie, Ryan, Tommy, and Lucas slid down the hay elevator. The boys were dripping with sweat. Tommy poured a cup of water over his head and shook his hair. Jade smiled at Tessa as he took his shirt off and drank down a large glass of water. Tessa could tell just by Jades expression that she thought he was beautiful. She couldn’t disagree. He had great definition in his chest, and his abs rippled. Tessa watched Jades eyes trail down his stomach and she glanced over and noticed he had a little bit of hair going down his belly. She watched as Jade bit her lip and smiled at him. Tessa handed out cups of water and could feel Lucas watching her. She saved him for last. He had taken off his shirt as well, and he was gorgeous. “Thanks Tessa.” “Thank you for your help. It was very nice of you.” Tessa smiled shyly at him. “And she can smile,” he joked. “All I have to do is sweat my ass off throwing hay. Good to know.” “Tessa, Tessa, we have the corn. Can we help you make dinner for all the boys?” Kendall and Jake asked running towards her. “Sure,” Tessa said, rubbing her brother’s head. “Can you start husking the corn? I’ll be over in a minute.” “Tessa, you are making me dinner?” Lucas smirked. “Our first date.” He drank his water and jumped up so he was nose to nose with her. She stopped breathing as he stood there, looking her directly in the eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and she let out a slow breath. Lucas’s smile left as he looked at her. He was finding it difficult to breathe. He took a step back and gave her a conflicted smile before he scaled the elevator leading to the upper barn door and disappeared into the hayloft. He watched out the window as Tessa and Jade got her siblings and the food loaded into one of her families trucks. Two hours later, the last load was done. John invited the boys to swim in the pond. It was on a piece of land the Ross family owned a few miles away. Lucas followed John and Alex in his car. He parked at the top of the driveway and he and Tommy hopped in the back of Johns truck. The road was long and rutted up by tractors and farm equipment. John told him his car wouldn’t make it down to the pond.
When they made it to the opening in the field Lucas watched as Tessa and Jade carried dinner out from a wooded area. “Man, it’s beautiful down here Ross.” Tommy said as he jumped out from the back of the truck and looked around. Lucas jumped out next and stood for a moment taking in the surreal beauty that surrounded them. He followed the others out to the dock, then they all jumped in with their jeans on. Kendall and Jake were on the floating dock and they swam out to them. They rocked it back and forth and took turns launching the kids into the water. Tessa rang the big dinner bell, and they all swam in. Tessa and Jade just stood and watched, admiring the view. They had brought a couple of towels and they helped dry off the kids. Jade and Tessa then made plates for Jake, Kendall, and themselves and sat at a table with the kids and John while the guys laughed and talked about football as they filled their plates. Tessa looked down when she noticed Lucas looking at her. She was unsure of what he was thinking but knew she shouldn’t wonder. She had enough to worry about. Losing focus was not a good idea. She also knew she certainly shouldn’t be staring at him, encouraging him to continue playing a game she knew would be dangerous. She needed to look away, but there was something about him, something she couldn’t figure out. Something deeper than what she had first seen. Was he more than just a hot, popular, football star who knew all of that about himself? Her trance was broken when she saw her mom’s car pulling down the driveway. It was Friday night, and Jake and Kendall were going with Maggie for the weekend. Tessa’s eyes narrowed as she looked toward her mother. Her father kicked her under the table. “She’s your mom, kiddo. Go say hi.” She looked at him and scowled. “Now,” he insisted. She stomped as she headed for the car. “When will you two be stopping down?” Maggie asked after she had hugged both Alex and Tessa. “When will you be coming home?” Tessa asked. Her mother called after her as she walked away. “Mom, give her time,” Alex said. “This isn’t easy, ya know? We need time.” He kissed her and opened the car door so she could get in. “See you at my game in the morning.” Jade watched as Tessa ran to the dock and dove into the pond. She walked to the dock, waiting for Tessa to surface, then ran and did a cannon ball next to her. They laughed as they swam to the floating dock and pulled themselves onto it. “You alright, Tessa?” “Yep, just pissed.” “Focus on something else Tessa, like the trees,” Jade pointed or the very hot boys over there,” Jade laughed and pointed. Tessa smacked her hand and laughed, “It’s not polite to point you know.” *** Lucas and Tommy went to help Alex grab some wood for a fire. They saw the cabin sitting in a clearing, “Nice,” Tommy said, “Is this your place Alex?” “It’s our family’s deer camp.” “Very cool.” Lucas said. The three boys walked back to the pond and started a bonfire. “Hey guys,” John said, “thanks for your help. I’m going to head home. Anyone need a lift up the hill?” When no one accepted John chuckled, “Alright then you have two hours tops, you need to get to bed, big
game tomorrow.” “Dad, could you call Uncle Jack and let him know where we are?” Alex asked. Lucas took note that he was being protective of his cousin. John nodded and waved as he walked to the truck. When Tessa, Jade, Ryan, and Frankie got out of the pond Alex tossed them towels. She laughed and joked with Jade, Ryan, and Frankie. But she often found herself stealing glances at Lucas. Each time she did, he was doing the same. By the end of the night, they both smiled when they caught each other looking. Alex put the fire out, and they walked toward the trucks parked at the edge of the field. “Tommy and Lucas, ride with us,” Jade yelled as she and Tessa got in the front and Lucas and Tommy jumped in the back. They followed Alex up the hill and he waved as he pulled onto the main road. Tessa and Jade pulled over to let them out at Lucas’s car. Tessa watched as Lucas walked over to the car. When he returned he handed her envelopes that her father used when paying help. “Hey Tessa, could you give this back to your Dad and let him know that we had a great time.” He took Tommy’s shirt and threw it to him. He walked up and began putting his on Tessa. She didn’t know how to feel about this bold move on his part. She looked over and Tommy was doing the same to Jade. She looked back at Lucas wanting to thank him but the words just wouldn’t come out. “Great first date,” Lucas whispered to Tessa. She looked at the ground wanting to ignore what he had just said. First date? “Thanks for your help.” Lucas looked in her eyes as if he wanted to say more. When Tommy spoke they both looked away from each other. “Pizza and a movie tomorrow night?” Tommy asked Jade. “Well, we we’ll see. I think it’ll take a lot more of that free help to win Alex over.” Jade smiled. “We shall see. See you at the game, pretty girl,” Tommy said as he walked to Lucas’s car. The girls got in the truck and laughed as they followed Tommy and Lucas down the road. “Nice sweatshirts,” Alex said as the girls got out of the vehicle at the farm. “I think it was nice of them,” Jade smiled. Tessa handed her brother the envelopes as she walked in the house she looked back at Alex. “Yes, it was. See you tomorrow Jade.” Alex and Jade got in his truck so he could take her home. Tessa technically wasn’t allowed to drive after nine until she was eighteen so they kept it to a minimum. As they pulled onto the driveway Jade looked at Alex, “Do you like them now?” “Too early to tell,” Alex answered.
CHAPTER THREE Jade woke up and smiled as she smelled her new favorite shirt. It was cleaning day, she thought which took the cheesy grin off her face. She went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and pulled her hair up in a bun. She went back into her room and took off the sweatshirt and laid it on her pillow, then threw on a tee- shirt and shorts instead. She grabbed her phone to send a text to Tommy. - Good luck today - Wow… good morning pretty girl, that’s the first time you have texted me first, I like it - LOL - My sweatshirt keep you warm last night - Actually it did, just took it off - I don’t know which part I like the best - ?????? - my shirt keeping you warm all night, or the part about you taking it off - Hmmm! - too much? - YES!!! - Sorry pretty girl, just being honest - Like honesty…but slow it down, boy. - Got it…see you later pretty girl *** Tessa woke up and smelled her shirt, smiling faintly. Her dad knocked on the door. “Tessa you up?” he asked as he walked in. “Yep,” she said. “It’s quiet here today.” “Too quiet,” he said sadly. “So tomorrow is your birthday, and I thought maybe tonight you’d want to invite some friends up to stay at the Camp. I know it’s last minute. Things have been a little hectic around here. The only thing is, Alex and a couple of friends will be in tents outside to chaperone, and I have to deliver a load of hay to New Jersey. Your mom will be stopping up to check on you.” “Forget it then. Alex will be there, Dad. I REALLY don’t want to see her, especially with my friends around,” Tessa grumbled. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do, but tomorrow we’re all going to have dinner together for your birthday. Tessa, she’s your Mother, and regardless of what’s going on with us, she does love you. No arguments. Got it?” he asked sternly. “Fine.” She grabbed her phone and texted the girls.
- So Dad just said we could use the camp tonight to have a sleepover for my birthday, so here’s your invitation, Becca please invite Phoebe, I don’t have her number. She pushed send, and a few minutes later they all responded that they were coming. Tessa got up and decided to clean. She started with her bedroom. While cleaning her room she looked in the mirror, she was still wearing his sweatshirt, and it still smelled like his cologne. She cleaned the entire house wearing his shirt, laughing as she slid across the wood floor in her socks like the scene in one of her mom’s favorite movies. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of her mother. She cranked up the music and danced around to the Dixie Chicks. She finished cleaning and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower then braced herself to text her mother. - I am going to Alex’s game; can I pick up the kids and take them with me? - We’ll meet you there. - Can’t wait! She grumbled as she pushed send. - I love you Tessa. She set her phone on the bed and threw in a load of laundry. She cringed as she saw his sweatshirt sinking into the wash, “Damn it!” *** Tessa pulled into the parking lot a little late and looked around for her friends. She saw Jade, Phoebe, and Becca sitting on the bleachers a few rows behind the cheerleaders. She rolled her eyes as she walked up. Tessa sat down. “Nice seats.” The Saints were ahead. Lucas could not throw a bad pass if he wanted to, and between Tommy and Alex, they caught every one. With each touchdown Tommy made he would hold up his “J” and smile at Jade. Alex returned a punt and ran eighty yards to score a touchdown. He held up his hand in a “J” and pointed at Jade and shook his head no. Jade laughed as she saw Tommy look down, covering his face as he laughed. “Busted,” Tessa laughed at Jade. Tessa’s mom and the kids sat behind the girls. Jake and Kendall climbed down and sat next to Tessa. Sadi threw nasty looks at them whenever she could. Phoebe finally looked at her and said, “Your face is going to freeze like that, girl,” making them all laugh. Sadi was an implant just like Lucas and Tommy, and a world class snob. The game ended with the Saints winning by twenty- one points. It was their first game, and they could not have done any better. Everyone rushed the field, including Jade who scanned the crowd for Tommy. He saw her and ran up to her but stopped when he saw Alex. He started to turn around. Alex grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. “You wanna hug, Tommy boy?” he teased, nodding toward Jade. “Dude, sorry, but I so do.” Tommy looked like he was in pain. Jade laughed as Alex jumped up and wrapped his arms and legs around Tommy, hugging him and knocking them both to the ground. The boys laughed, and Ryan reached out his hand and pulled them both up. “We are going to walk away now, Tommy Boy, but we’ll look back in ten seconds,” Alex warned. Tommy smiled and ran to grab Jade. He picked her up and hugged her while he twirled her around.
“Pretty girl, I think you’re a good luck charm. Can I kiss you before your cousin turns around? Please?” “Since you asked so nicely,” she said before kissing him first. Tessa, Kendall, and Jake looked for Alex. “Hey Tessa, that’s the boy that was at our house last night,” Kendall said as they walked by Lucas. “Hey, hay boy,” Jake yelled to Lucas who stood in a crowd of cheerleaders. “You played awesome.” Tessa felt her face turn red as he laughed and smiled at her. He walked toward them to receive Jake’s high- five. “Thanks, little man. Do you think your sister liked the game?” “You bet she did. She smiled a lot more today than usual.” Tessa’s eyes widened as she continued looking at the ground. Alex came up smiling, and Tessa finally forced herself to speak. “Great game. You guys played well together.” Alex smiled as he patted Lucas’s shoulder. “We did.” “What’s this ‘hay boy’ shit, Lucas?” Sadi yelled from behind Tessa, shoving her and causing her to fall into him. Lucas caught her. “Back off, Sadi. I told you two weeks ago that we’re done.” He looked down at Tessa who was still in his arms. “You okay?” “I’m fine.” She turned around and looked at Sadi. “You need to watch your mouth in front of kids, especially these ones.” “Kiss my ass, farm girl,” retorted Sadi, reaching out to shove her again. Lucas caught her hand. “Back off Sadi.” “You boys enjoying the homegrown Prosti- tots now?” Sadi hissed. “Lets go,” Alex grabbed Tessa’s arm and she pulled it away. “I will catch up in a minute,” she said to him through her teeth. Alex shook his head as he walked away with the kids. “Now that the kids are gone I’m only going to tell you this once. If you ever put your hands on me again I won’t hesitate to do the same to you.” Tessa then looked at Lucas, “You done with her?” He chuckled and shook his head yes. “Alright then.” “Your threats don’t scare me, bitch,” Sadi yelled. Tessa walked into Lucas. She looked at him and he could sense she was nervous. “I’m going to kiss you,” she whispered. “And I’m going to enjoy it,” he whispered back. Tessa held onto Lucas’ biceps and he wrapped his arms around her lifting her up as they kissed. Lucas pulled at her lip with his teeth, and she opened her mouth slowly while he gently explored her it with his tongue. He set Tessa down as she pulled slowly away. He took her hand, and they walked off the field. Alex looked angry as Tessa walked by him toward Jade and Tommy who smiled at Lucas. She saw her mom out of the corner of her eye and knew she was upset. She saw her say something to Alex and then stormed toward Tessa. “What are you thinking, young lady? That is not the way I raised you!” she yelled. Lucas started to pull away but Tessa didn’t let go of his hand. “That’s right Mom, it wasn’t.” She started to walk by, but her mother grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Tessa Ross, don’t you walk away from me!” “It was only to prove a point to some stupid girl, Mom!” Tessa yelled, choking up. “And as far as how I was raised,” she continued to yell, “actions speak louder than words, and YOU’RE the one who taught me how to walk away!” She turned toward Lucas and he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as they walked away. Jade ran toward Tessa and hugged her. “I’m fine,” Tessa said.
“We’re going to shower. Will you be here when we get done?” Tommy asked Jade. “Yes,” Jade nodded, “we will.” The boys followed the rest of the team into the locker room, and Tessa ran up to the kids, hugging them as they walked to their Mom’s car. “Don’t cry,” she said as she kissed their heads. “I’m ok, you’re both ok, and Alex kicked butt today.” She grinned at them. “Have fun with Mom tonight. I’ll see you all in the morning!” “For your birthday,” Alex said. “Yep, and I want chocolate cake, got it?” she stood up and looked at her mom. “See ya, Mom.” “Have fun tonight, Tessa. I love you,” Maggie said sadly. Tessa was going to walk away without responding but then saw that the kids were watching her. “I love you, too.” *** Lucas walked up to Tessa after practice. “You okay?” She looked down. “I’m fine,” she said. The butterflies began dancing in her belly. “Sorry about all that. It’s just…” Lucas took her hand, walking her away from Jade and Tommy and she stopped talking. When he stopped he turned and looked at her, “Not that your point- proving kiss wasn’t great. It was, but I’d really like to try it again. You know, a kiss for us, not for the hundred people who were standing around.” Her eyes widened as he lifted her chin, she quickly closed her eyes; she couldn’t look at him. He kissed her lips gently. She gasped, and he moved to her cheek then back to her lips. He gently sucked her bottom lip, and her mouth opened. Her head was spinning as his tongue began to explore her again. She started to pull back, but he gently put his hand behind her head, and her tongue finally met his. Lucas slowly began pulling away, lightly dragging his teeth down her tongue. He let go, and kissed her again, this time without the tongue, parting his lips slightly so they covered hers once more and then over and over again. She wanted his tongue again. She needed his tongue again. She bit on his lip, and he opened his mouth for her to slide her tongue in, slowly and cautiously exploring his mouth for what seemed like forever. Finally, Lucas pulled away, and Tessa slowly opened her eyes. She felt her body coming back to reality. Her face burned, and she closed her eyes. He pulled her head against his chest and whispered into her ear, “Damn Tessa, you are so hot.” She said nothing in return; she was still basking in the glory of her first real kiss. She was pretty sure she did well. He certainly did. Lucas pulled her even closer to him. Someone cleared their throat, and Tessa and Lucas looked up to find Jade and Tommy looking at them. “You ready to go?” Jades voice squeaked. Lucas smiled. “See you tonight, birthday girl.” She climbed in the truck and wondered what he meant as she waited for Jade. Jade got in, and Tessa pulled up beside Lucas, “Hey this is yours. I washed it,” she said as she threw it to him. She put on her sunglasses and drove toward home. Tessa pulled in her driveway just as her phone chimed, and she picked it up and read. - why did you give it back? - what back? - The sweatshirt - it didn’t smell like you
I actually sent it! What the heck possessed me to do that! Am I losing my mind? I must be. - good to know “Did Lucas tell you Alex invited him and Tommy to tent camp with them tonight?” Jade asked as they walked into the farmhouse. “What! You’re kidding me!” Jade laughed. “Oh, that’s right, he wouldn’t have had a chance to tell you anything with his tongue lodged down your throat.” “Jade, seriously, why? Did he say why?” Tessa pleaded. “Nope. All I know is that they had to agree to go to church in the morning with us,” she laughed. “And they did?” “Yeah, Tommy had to call his parents to make sure it was alright to miss church with them, and they said yes.” Jade beamed. Tessa groaned as they walked into the house. She dropped her school bag on the floor of her room and started packing for the campout. She and Jade went through the house together, gathering flashlights, blankets, and snack food. Tessa hesitated in front of the liquor cabinet before finally grabbing a bottle of Schnapps. Jade looked at her, “What are you doing Tessa?” “It’s my birthday party, and I may want a drink. I may also want my favorite cousin to have a drink with me,” Tessa laughed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tessa…” “It may not be, Jade, but it’s my eighteenth birthday.”
CHAPTER FOUR Tessa and Jade got to the pond and saw that the boys had already set up the tents but weren’t there. Jade and Tessa were unloading the truck when Alex, Tommy, and Lucas walked in with their arms full of grocery bags. They were talking about the game, going over it play by play. Tessa grabbed a white cardboard box and broke it down. She grabbed some markers out of the drawer and wrote DOE CAMP in big block letters, coloring in each as she drew it. She set it on the counter and loudly cleared her throat. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex laughed. Tessa smiled at Becca and Phoebe as they arrived with their overnight bags. “My dearest brother, we watched an almost three hour game. As a matter of fact, I believe your mother videotaped it. I have to suffer having a chaperone that is just a year older than I am, who invited friends to join him. While you’re in here for the next eighteen hours, it’s Doe Camp, not testosterone driven kill stories, farting, and burping. And no more football today. As a matter of fact, I’ve decided you’re not my chaperone tonight; you’re my servant. You may find yourself painting our toenails.” “I am absolutely positive that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say,” Lucas laughed. “If you would keep your tongue out of her mouth long enough, she may be able to talk more,” Jade joked. Alex covered his ears. “I don’t want to hear anymore, but it best not go any further than that.” “Seriously,” Tessa gasped, scowling at Jade. She felt Lucas looking at her, and she looked up at him, smiled, and looked quickly away. “Alright boys, the princess has spoken, so let’s go cook some grub,” Alex said. “What’s for dinner?” Tessa asked. “It’s a surprise,” Alex said. “What’s this about a tongue down your throat, Tessa?” Phoebe asked after the boys left the camp. “Let ME give you the details,” Jade said, “because I had front row seats to the second act.” Jade told them what happened to her and Tessa after the game. She talked forever about how much of a gentleman Tommy was, unlike the way Lucas acted with Tessa. “Did you like it, Tessa?” Phoebe asked. “I mean, did he taste nasty? Did you want to push him off you?” “No, Phoebe, he tasted hot and sweet, a little like cinnamon. To be honest I didn’t want him to stop. I wished it could have lasted forever.” She spoke innocently, like a child. *** Lucas cleared his throat from the door. “Dinner is ready ladies.” The girls started filing, but he put his arm out when Tessa got there, stopping her before she could leave. “Let me pass, Lucas. I’m too embarrassed to look at you right now,” she said in a shaky quiet whisper. “Look at me please,” Lucas begged. She looked up at him. “You are so cute right now, so incredibly innocent. Can I ask you a question?” “If you let me look away so I don’t throw up on your feet,” she said. He started laughing. “You’re an ass,” she snapped trying to duck under his arm. He grabbed her and spun her around so her back was to him. “Is that better?” She nodded. “Okay, now my question; how many guys have been lucky enough to kiss you?” “Five,” Tessa answered.
He laughed out loud, and she elbowed him hard in the stomach. “Tessa, don’t be angry with me.” How could I not be, you ass, she thought. “How many were not related to you?” “Is it any of your business?” she asked, trying to pull away from him. “I want to know.” His voice was suddenly gentler. “Fine. None that was my first real kiss, Lucas. Are you happy? My first kiss.” “I am so glad,” he said his breath hot against her neck. “Tessa I have kissed a lot of girls, and you are by far my favorite, so curious, so receptive, and so incredibly hot. Thank you for answering my question. Will you look at me now?” Lucas asked, letting her go. “I don’t know,” she said. “Can I take your hand and walk with you to dinner?” “No, you can race me.” She took off running. When they got to the table Lucas sat next to her. When a dish was passed, Lucas asked her if she wanted it, and if she said yes, he put it on her plate for her. They ate crab legs, Tessa’s favorite, with corn on the cob and an assortment of salads. When dinner was done Becca and Phoebe grabbed blankets and laid them on the ground near the bonfire. They turned on the radio. Tessa sat on the blanket with the girls and Tommy. Alex and Lucas stood by the fire. *** “Are you having fun?” Jade asked Tommy. “What do you usually do on a Saturday night?” “I’m with you, so of course I’m having fun. A normal Saturday night? I don’t know. Well last weekend we had a bunch of people over to Lucas’s pool for an end of summer bash. What would you normally do?” “This, pretty much – hang out with family and just…hang out,” Jade said. “To some it’s boring but to use, it’s life. I hope its okay with you I mean you probably go out with girlfriends, on dates and stuff a lot right?” He smiled and shook his head no. “How many girlfriends have you had?” Uh oh, she thought, did she really want to know. “Three,” he answered. “How long was your longest relationship?” “Six months,” Tommy said, never loosing eye contact. “Would you tell me about it?” “Sure, she was in my grade at our old school, and we broke up at the end of last year. She goes to a different school now. That’s it.” “Did you love her?” she asked. He laughed and ran his hand through his hair. “I suppose I thought I did. But now I don’t think so.” “Oh.” “Is that it for the questioning?” he asked quietly. She nodded. “Can I ask you a question then?” “Sure.” “Can I take you for a walk and kiss you, Jade? I mean, really kiss you? Please?” His eyes were intense. She looked around. Everyone’s back was to them except Tessa’s, but she was busy talking to the girls. “Okay.” He stood and pulled her up. As the walked he took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “You asked me a lot of questions. I’m only going to ask you one. Have you ever had a boyfriend?” “I don’t know,” she said. “It doesn’t matter to me if you’ve had none or a hundred, Jade.” He took her face in his hands. “I’ve
wanted to do this since I saw you walking out of the water over there.” He kissed her neck slowly down one side and then worked his way back up the other side of her face. As he kissed her face, he ran his finger across her lips and then traced it with his tongue. He kissed her lightly, then pulled away and looked at her. He continued again with another slow kiss; one hand tangled in her long black hair, the other pulling her body close to him. He opened his mouth then closed it, pulling on her lips. While his tongue stroked her lips, she opened them slightly, allowing him to move it further into her mouth. When she pulled back, she let out a breath, and he put his mouth around hers. Their tongues danced and caressed each other. His hands lowered to her butt, but she quickly moved it up to her lower back. As he kissed her harder and deeper,, she fell into him, willingly taking his assault. He pulled her head to the left and kissed her neck down to her shoulder. Then he leaned up and kissed her lips hard all over again. She opened her mouth and grabbed his head as they kissed until their lips hurt and they couldn’t breathe. Jade pulled away, laying her head on his shoulder and taking deep breaths as he rubbed her back. “Thank you, Jade,” he said, breathing deeply as he went on. “That was amazing, and I hope you understand that I may not ask next time I kiss you, because I don’t think I’ll be able to help myself.” They walked back to the fire hand in hand. Tommy kissed her cheek and then headed toward the guys, Jade toward the girls. “And then there were four,” Tessa giggled. “Where did you two disappear to?” “Heaven,” Jade said falling into them. They laughed. “Speaking of heaven, we brought a cake,” Phoebe said. “Do you want to go back and have some?” “Hey Alex, we’re going back down to have cake if you guys want to join us,” Tessa called as the four girls skipped arm in arm down to Doe Camp. *** The guys put out the fire and walked to meet up with the girls, who had started a fire in the fireplace and changed into more comfortable clothes. The girls insisted on singing Happy Birthday and put eighteen candles on the cake for Tessa. “Present time,” Jade announced. “Jade, I’m not twelve. It’s not necessary.” Tessa was really embarrassed. Lucas smiled as he watched her face turn red. She was not like any other girl he had ever been attracted to. She was smart, kind and feisty, he liked her. A lot. Jade gave Tessa a Pearl Jam CD from the concert they attended the past summer in Albany, and a gift card to the movies. Becca and Phoebe gave her a gift card to a movie as well; they all knew that was her favorite escape. There were two other packages. One of them was from Tommy and contained a ski pass to a nearby ski resort. The last package was from Lucas, a Vera Bradley book bag containing a teddy bear that smelled like him, the sweatshirt she had given back to him, and a note that said READ ME LATER. “Thank, guys,” she said. “You’re the best.” “Group Hug!” Jade laughed. Tessa finally let out a breath as they all hugged. The rest of the night was spent playing cards and laughing,; listening to music and laughing some more when they took turns changing the words to the songs. It was a perfect night, a welcome distraction from the tension going on in her life. *** About midnight, the guys headed to their tents. Alex and Tommy fell asleep, but Lucas couldn’t. He watched the girls’ shadows dancing as they acted silly in the cabin. When things finally settled down and
the cabin appeared quiet, he texted Tessa. - So? Did you read my letter?…LL He saw a light glowing from the back porch and received a response a second later. - doing it now…Tessa He walked out back and stood about ten feet from her as she read. He watched her smile and bite her lip. - you seem happy, why can’t you be that way when I’m looking in your eyes? - I don’t know “It’s not that hard, Tessa.” he said moving towards her. She jumped, then started to laugh. Lucas quickly put his hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t wake anyone. “Sorry,” she whispered smiling. “I love your smile, Tessa,” Lucas whispered. She looked away, and he picked up the note. “So can you answer me, or do you need time?” He pulled her to sit in front of him, knee to knee. He held her face in his hands. “Please don’t look away.” “Okay.” “Tessa Ross, will you date me exclusively?” he asked. “There are a lot of crazy things going on in my life right now,” Tessa said. “I don’t want to jump into a relationship that’s going to fail or that I can’t give one hundred percent to.” “Then don’t,” Lucas smiled. “Don’t let it fail. I see what’s going on in your life and it sucks. I get it, but we could be good together. I have very strong feelings for you that I don’t want to push under the rug until a better time that may not ever come. But if I’m reading you wrong, let me know, and I’ll stop pressuring you. This can be a good thing. I think we both know it.” he pushed her hair away from her face. “What do you say, Tessa?” “Okay, let’s try it,” Tessa closed her eyes. He grabbed her face and kissed her lips. Again he tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth, and she responded by opening and letting his hot sweet tongue in her mouth again. She willingly let him explore. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper. Raindrops hit the tin roof of the cabin. She pulled away, and Lucas put her head to his chest. She could hear his heart thumping as she tried to catch her breath. He lifted her chin, and they smiled at each other and the rain came down harder. *** Tessa smiled as she looked at her phone. It was 12:15, her eighteenth birthday, and she had a boyfriend. It was going to be okay, not as bad a year as she’d anticipated. She walked into the cabin as Jade was creeping in the front door. They both started laughing. “What’s going on?” Becca asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “It’s raining out,” Tessa said quickly. “Oh no, the boys are in the tent,” Phoebe yawned. Jade and Tessa laughed again. “Why is that funny?” Becca asked. Just then, the boys stumbled in. “Looks like we’re crashing in here,” Alex announced. Lucas smiled at Tessa as he followed Alex.
The boys went up in the loft. They all crashed hard but everyone was up bright and early in the morning. They packed up camp at eight o’clock and all left at nine in the morning. When they finally got back to the truck, Jade and Tessa laughed as they looked at each other. “How was your night?” “It was amazing, Tessa,” Jade said. “He’s amazing. He’s funny, too, and we kissed a lot. I swear my head is spinning.” Jade was beaming from ear to ear. “He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. I mean, why wouldn’t I? How did your night go?” Tessa smiled. “Pretty much the same.” *** The boys walked into the church with Tessa’s father. Tommy wondered where Jade was. They sat in the third pew on the left, next to Tessa’s mom and younger brother and sister. Becca and her family sat behind them. The chorus walked in, and Lucas smiled when he saw Tessa in her long green robe. The Pastor asked for announcements, and John announced Tessa’s eighteenth birthday. She blushed and looked at Jade who sat next to her. The sermon was on adultery. This is lovely Tessa thought, Lucas and Tommy won’t ever want to come again. Tessa, Jade, and three others stood and walked to the front of the church. Becca sat at the piano. Tessa squeezed Jades hand sensing her anxiety. When Becca began to play Jade squeezed Tessa’s hand harder. Tessa wasn’t nervous. The song, Blessed Be Your Name, was the same one she’d sung alone as a child at vacation bible school in Cape Cod while she stayed with her aunt. It began with Tessa’s solo, then the chorus joined in. Jade’s solo was next. She sang softly and sweetly, and Tessa smiled at her as they sang the bridge together, then squeezed her hand when she was finished. When the song ended, Tommy stood up whistling and cheering. Jade’s face turned red as she grinned at him. When church ended, Tommy and Lucas stood in the fellowship room with the congregation. “Hey pretty girl,” Tommy said, when Jade came up to them. “You sang beautifully.” He kissed her cheek. “Where’s Tessa?” Lucas asked, looking around. “Right over there,” Jade said. Lucas followed her gaze to the corner of the room where Tessa stood talking to an attractive man who seemed to be in his twenties. Lucas watched as they laughed and chatted. When the man hugged Tess, Lucas narrowed his eyes and walked toward them. Lucas touched Tessa’s back and smiled, staring intensely into the stranger’s eyes. “Hi, I’m Lucas, Tessa’s boyfriend.” The guy took his hand. “Nice to meet you Lucas. Tessa you never told me you had a boyfriend.” He looked at her. “See you soon.” He gave Tessa a hug and then smiled at Lucas.. “Nice meeting you Lucas.” When he left, Tessa turned to Lucas. “Hi.” “Hi, good job singing.” He was clearly annoyed. What just happened? “Thanks, I guess.” “What? Why are you acting like that? I came here to be with you and you’re hugging some guy right in front of me. That’s not how I want my girlfriend to act.” He took her hand and pulled her through the crowd. She pulled away and glared at him, then walked to Tommy and Jade. “What were you and Pastor Zach talking about?” Jade asked Tessa. Lucas’s eyes widened as Tessa answered her. “He asked if I would sing at his wedding next fall. Apparently, he proposed Friday night.” “Awesome, she must be so happy,” Jade said. Tessa wouldn’t look at Lucas. She avoided him completely. Her parents and siblings said they would
meet her at home in thirty minutes. “Tessa, you sang beautifully,” her Mom smiled. The boys followed Tessa and Jade as they went downstairs to hang their robes. “Want to see the eleventh and twelfth grade classrooms? They’re pretty cool,” Jade said to the boys. “I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right in.” When she came out of the restroom Lucas was waiting. “Tessa, I’m sorry I acted like that. I just can’t stand to see another guy touch you.” “First of all, you don’t know me, and I certainly don’t know you enough to do this… this — thing.” She stuttered. “My family is falling apart. With that, school, hockey, choir, church, and trying to keep things normal for my little brother and sister, Lucas I’m not ready for this, not now.” She continued as a tear fell down her cheek. Lucas wiped it away and hugged her. She didn’t fight him. “Don’t be sad, Tessa. You weren’t sad last night. I am sorry about what just happened. I was being stupid, but this thing, as you call it, Tessa, can be the distraction you need. I’ve been through the family nonsense. Let me help you, I want to help you. I’m sorry. Please say you’ll forgive me?” he asked, searching her sad crystal blue eyes. “Just don’t get angry at me,” she said. “Ask me questions/ I’ve never done this; I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend, but I can tell you I’m nothing if not trustworthy and honest.” Lucas kissed her hard. She gasped, and as his tongue entered her mouth, she fell back into his arms. She grabbed his face and her tongue met his. “Tessa!” Tessa and Lucas jumped away from each other as Jade came into the hallway. Tessa turned to Lucas, “That can’t happen again here, okay?” “If you say so.” He winked. *** Tessa looked at her mother. “It’s beautiful. Thanks Mom.” “We helped, too,” Jake yelled. “Well, thank you too. Do you think it tastes as good as it looks?” Tessa grinned at him. They ate cake and ice cream, and then it was time for presents. Her parents gave her a new hockey stick, one that she had admired at the sporting goods store with her mother while they were school clothes shopping, along with money. Her brothers and sister gave her new cleats and beautiful family portraits they had made. She hugged them and thanked them. “Tessa, I would like you come stay with me one day this week? Is that doable?” Maggie asked. “I guess so. I have a game Tuesday. Maybe after that.” Her mother left at eight o’clock and Tessa helped to get the kids ready for the week. She tucked them in and went downstairs, then grabbed her phone from the counter and looked at her messages. - you did great today, I think I will be playing piano at the wedding, we’ll have to practice, see you tomorrow…Becca - You were very naughty at church today :) how was dinner?...Jade Lucas had sent several texts. - hope we are ok; sorry for being an ass, just don’t want anyone else touching you…Lucas - how was dinner, everything ok?..Lucas - You sang beautifully today…Lucas
- I think I miss you…Lucas - Tessa are you mad at me?...Lucas - alright, I guess you’re busy, see you tomorrow… Lucas She smiled as she texted back - Things are good, Mom left an hour ago had to get the kids set for tomorrow, left my phone home, see you tomorrow…Tessa She received an immediate reply, - sleep well…take that bear with you so you’ll think of me when you fall asleep and not all the other stuff…Lucas - will do...Tessa
CHAPTER FIVE Tessa and Jade were standing at their lockers talking, the boys walked down the hall staring in their direction. Lucas had on faded jeans that hung on his hips and a black polo shirt. Tommy was in long khaki cargo shorts and a white tee. Tessa looked around to see who was watching them; everyone was. Their smirks and gazes gave them away. “Check out the girls,” Tessa whispered to Jade. “It’s like the guys are fresh meat or something.” Jade laughed, but Tessa was annoyed. She grabbed her books for first period and was about to walk away when someone grabbed her from behind. “Good morning, Tessa,” Lucas said, turning her toward him. He took her hand. “Can I walk you to class?” Tessa smiled. “Do you get this reaction often?” she asked, looking down the hall. He looked and laughed. “Tessa, you’re dating the quarterback. You’ll have to get used to it. Let them look, only you can touch.” He kissed her hand. “Want to see them squirm?” She didn’t have a chance to respond before his hands were on her face, his lips on hers. He slipped his gum in her mouth with his tongue and gently pulled away, staring in her eyes. “Check them out now,” he whispered in her ear. He grabbed her books and then her hand, and they walked through the gawking crowd of Lucas groupies. She no longer cared that they all looked. He was hers. He had said so. She laughed. “You left something in my mouth.” “Tessa don’t say that.” He smirked and Tessa was confused. She looked behind her at Jade and Tommy. Jade seemed so happy, finally. Tommy took Jade’s hand. “Good morning, pretty girl.” She hugged him. “Good morning.” He took her books and they held hands walking down the hall. At lunch the boys joined them and everyone stared. Tessa was embarrassed at first, but seemed to be getting used to it. After practices she hung out with Lucas ant their friends for a bit and then the boys gave them a ride to Tessa’s house. *** On Wednesday, Tessa went to her mother’s after practice. She walked into the small two bedroom apartment and looked around, wondering how her mother could choose to live like this. What the hell had happened to her? She and her mom had French onion soup and a large salad for dinner. They ate quietly without conversation. “Tessa, do you like that boy?” her mother asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Lucas is my boyfriend, Mom,” she said blandly. “He’s cute, Tessa,” Maggie said. “Just please remember what you were taught.” “I got it, Mom. I’ll try to remember that none of it means anything, because after twenty years it won’t matter anymore.” “Tessa, you don’t know what I’ve lived for those years. I don’t expect you to be happy about it. I do, however, expect you to be respectful of me and respectful of yourself always.” Tessa excused herself and went into the spare bedroom to do her homework. She was working on her English essay when Lucas sent her a text message.
- how’s it going baby?...Lucas - Baby huh? Lol. As good as could be expected…bored:)…Tessa - yes baby, my baby;) Sorry to hear that. Sneak out I’ll come get you…Lucas - don’t you have homework? I do — lots of it. I will suffer through…Tessa - All done…want me to come over and do it for you?...Lucas - I would love that however she would not…she asked me about you today… told her that boy was my boyfriend….Tessa - How did she take it?!?!?....Lucas - as well as could be expected, she’ll get used to it, got to go…babe, see you in the morning…Tessa - can I pick you up, it’s on my way?…Lucas - Alright, she leaves at 7:10…Tessa *** Lucas was at the door at 7:12. “Punctual,” Tessa said. “Please excuse the place.” “I’ve seen worse. So we have about thirty minutes before we have to leave. What do you want to do?” Lucas asked. “I don’t know,” she said as her eyes widened and she looked away. “Baby, look at me. You never have to be nervous around me.” She looked at him. “That’s better. Now, what do you want to do?” “Kiss you, because it feels good, but there has to be more than that, Lucas. I want to know you and your heart, too,” No way did that just come out of my mouth. “Look at me baby.” He said lifting her chin. “I have an idea; you ask me a question and then I get to kiss you after I answer. It’s a win, win.” “I don’t know about that.” She bit her tongue trying to remove the cheesy ass grin on her face. “Aw, I see you want to, Tessa. it’s written all over that gorgeous face,” he said, smiling. His eyes were sparkling. He looked so cute. “Okay, but we can’t be late for school,” she said. He laughed. “You couldn’t lie if you wanted to. Sit knee to knee, right here.” They sat on the floor. “Ask away,” Lucas said. “Parents divorced or married?” “Divorced, since I was three. Now my turn.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth. “Who do you live with?” Tessa asked when he pulled away. “My mom. My father lives in New Jersey. We see each other a few times a year. My turn again.” This time she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. She started to move back but he stopped her. “If that’s all I get, we can move to yes or no questions.” He kissed, gently biting her lip She sat back. “So the deeper the question the longer the kiss, huh? Okay let’s see... parents remarried or not? Siblings or no siblings?” He laughed. “You’re tough, Tessa. After I answer this one you may want to take a deep breath. My parents divorced because they both had affairs. My mother remarried first, to someone younger. They lasted three years. She’s a drunk. My father has remarried three times. The girls get younger every time — well, the soon- to- be- ex is older. He has two kids with wife number four, both girls, one is two, the other
three. I see him on occasion and feel like an outsider. He owns a construction company and several properties. He likes to buy my love, which at this point I’m okay with.” Tessa took his face and kissed him. Her tongue moved into his mouth. She kissed him harder, tasting him. Her tongue pressed against his. He groaned, and she kissed his face and his neck. She moved up to his ear and tugged on his lobe with her teeth. “Tessa, you need to stop.” His voice was gruff. She looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry, I love how curious you are. But it makes me want to do things to you,” he said, closing his eyes. “You want to do things to me?” she asked seriously “God yes, Tessa. You turn me on just by looking at me,” he said, grabbing her by the waist and sitting her on his lap. He kissed the back of her head and down her neck. He bit at her ear. Oh, she thought, that was nice. She turned her head back facing him, and he kissed her hard on the mouth. She grabbed his face and crashed her mouth into his. She began kissing him harder. He lifted her and sat her on the floor. “Wow, Tessa what was that?” “Is that a question?” she asked him, smiling and biting her lip. “Tessa, you’re playing with fire. I am on fire right now.” “Shall I be the fireman?” She raised her eyebrows. “Holy fuck, Tessa, I thought you were a virgin and you’re talking to me like that?” “I’m sorry, Lucas. I didn’t mean…wow, no — - that’s not what I meant. Oh my God, I was just trying…I’m sorry.” She stood and ran to the bathroom and shut the door. He tried to open the door, but she had locked it. “Damn it, Tessa. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Tessa, please open the door. Look, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I apologize baby… please open the door.” She walked out, cleared her throat. “Will you please take me to school? I don’t want to be late.” He grabbed her face. “I said I was sorry. I just thought because you’d never been kissed, you were a virgin, and then you started talking about role playing. I thought you wanted to take this slow. I’m sorry.” “I am a virgin, you asshole. You were my first kiss. But I haven’t been living under a rock for 18 years. I’m a virgin, not an idiot,” she snapped,. He laughed, and she pulled away from him. “If you are not going to take me to school, then you should leave now.” “Tessa, I’ve never met anyone like you. And when you’re sitting on my lap and kissing me, well, your kisses do things to me. I want you, but I was trying to respect you and not, well… you know. Damn Tessa, you confuse me,” he said, searching her face. She looked up at him and whispered. “Can we go, please? We’ll be late.” “No,” he said, grabbing her shoulders. “Not until I know we’re okay.” “We will be. I’m just embarrassed.” She put her hands on his waist and looked down. He pulled her into him, hugging and kissing her tenderly. “I’m sorry Tessa.” “Me, too,” she said. He kissed her again, took her hand and walked out the door. “Was this from your father?” Tessa asked when they got into Lucas’s car. “Yep, for my seventeenth birthday,” he answered as he pulled onto the street. “He must have been really trying to buy your love that day.” He laughed and grabbed her hand. “Lucas, how many girlfriends have you had?” “Tessa, do you really want to know now? Maybe we should wait until we have time to play the game again.” “Now, please.” “I really don’t know. Lost count.” He started to turn on the radio, and she grabbed his hand.
“What was the longest relationship?” “Tessa, do we have to do this now?” he asked, looking out of the corner of his eye nervously. “Yes.” “Eight months.” “Was it Sadi?” she asked quietly. “Yes.” “Did you have sex with her?” “Tessa…” “I want to know.” “I cannot believe I am answering this but yes, I did.” “Was she your first?” “Really, Tessa?” he said as he pulled into the school parking lot. “Please?” “No Tessa, I’ve had a lot of sexual partners. My first was when I was fourteen,” he said. She gasped. “See? We shouldn’t have had this conversation now.” “How many?” “Sadi was number twelve.” They got out of the car and started walking toward the school. “They were all before you, Tessa, and none were at all like you. You’re just… better. I don’t have time to explain it now, but I will after school. Please, just don’t be mad.” She gave him a weak smile and a peck on the cheek. “I’m not. See you at lunch.” The bell rang and she ran to her locker and quickly to class. “Why are you so late?” Jade asked. “Long story, I’ll catch you up later,” she answered dismissively. Tessa looked out the window and thought about what her mother had said. Remember who you are. At this point in her life Tessa really didn’t know who she was. She did know that she didn’t want her first time to be with someone who was just going to use her and move onto the next person.
CHAPTER SIX Tessa avoided deep conversation with Lucas for the next couple days. Not as much kissing, and no alone time. She had only been with him for a few days, and she needed to make sure she wasn’t lucky number thirteen anytime soon. The way he made her feel when she was alone with him, well, she wasn’t going to chance it. On Friday, they went straight to the gym. Tonight, the boys played their game under the lights. Tessa would take the kids, assuring no intimate moments. They would stay at the farm and her mom would get them Saturday around one in the afternoon. *** “What was the score again?” Jake asked, as they walked on the field toward Alex and Lucas, surrounded by a slew of female fans. “Thirty four to fourteen, Saints.” “Alex, Lucas,” Jake said, pushing through the crowd toward them. “Awesome game! Good guys win!” He gave them high fives. “Well, they are good guys,” a couple girls in the crowd smiled seductively at Lucas. Sadi gazed at Lucas. “I know personally that the quarterback is.” Tessa watched him look at Sadi and shake his head. “Oh, here come the prosti- tots,” Sadi laughed loudly. Tessa stewed, concentrating on how not to kick Sadi’s ass all over the field. “Tessa, baby, they were all for you!” Lucas yelled so that Sadi could hear him. Tessa smirked, as he walked over to kiss her. He picked her up and twirled her in a circle. “My good luck charm!” The girls waited as the guys showered. After awhile, Sadi walked out with a crew of implants toward Tessa’s truck. “You think he likes you, Tessa?” she asked. “Yeah, I do,” Tessa said, smirking. She was glad that Alex had just taken the kids. “You’re just the flavor of the week. I’m the only one that lasted more than a month with him. He’s going to get sick of you, farm girl,” Sadi said. “For the record, he and I have already discussed his past, um, how shall I say it? Mistakes. Yeah, that’s a perfect word for it. He’s done with you; you should try to let that sink in. I’m not the reason you two broke up, so maybe you should get off my case.” “It’s never over between him and me. He’ll be back,” Sadi said “and you’ll be on your ass. Just like the rest of them.” “Maybe you should get a bit of self- respect. Seriously, why the hell do I need to know you’ve been a revolving door for him? You’re pathetic, and you’ve done that to yourself.” Tessa looked her up and down. “Don’t look at me like that, bitch,” Sadi swung at Tessa. Tessa ducked, “That all you got, Sadi?” Sadi grabbed her hair, and Tessa punched her in the eye. Sadi fell to the ground as Lucas and Tommy came running toward them. Jade had grabbed Tessa, pulling her back trying to stop her from kicking Sadi’s ass. Sadi saw Lucas and started crying. “Did you see what your little whore did to me?” “Yes, and I saw how it started.” He took her arm and pulled her to her car. “Go home Sadi. We aren’t doing this again.”
Tessa watched as he watched Sadi drive away and he looked wounded. Tessa saw he appeared torn and it made her think that maybe there was truth in what Sadi had said to her. *** Tessa got in her truck and drove home. She wanted to be alone. As she pulled in the driveway she looked at the headlights behind her getting closer. When she parked the truck Lucas followed her into the driveway. “Tessa — wait!” he said, running to get to her before she got to the door. “Why are you angry with me?” “I saw how you looked at her. I’m not stupid. You care about her. So go be with her, and leave me alone,” she snapped at him. “Tessa, come with me,” he said, forcing her back toward the barn. She wanted to scream but didn’t want to alarm her family. “Get your hands off me! I can walk.” He sat on a bale of hay and asked her to sit, too. “I’ll stand, thank you very much,” she said. “Okay, listen. I’m going to trust you with something, Tessa. No matter what happens, this is between you and I. Sadi and I dated for about a month before we had sex. She played head games, and it drove me crazy. I told her I loved her, and at the time I thought I did. We’d been together four months when she got pregnant. I wanted her to keep it, and she wouldn’t. She had an abortion behind my back, so I broke things off.” “I’m so sorry Lucas.” “I hooked up with a girl and we dated for about a month. Sadi threatened suicide. We got back together. We broke up and she started seeing someone else; I was hurt which was her intention, and we got back together for the final time. She was a complete bitch, and I broke things off again and started sleeping around. I guess I do care Tessa, but I don’t love her. I pity her. I’m sorry if that hurts you,” he explained. Tessa sat down. “That’s a lot to absorb, a lot to go through. I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry you got hit because of me.” “I hit her in the face, that was a first for me,” she said, disappointed in herself. He pulled her into him. “She attacked you. It’s called self- defense.” They sat there for a long time, looking out the open barn doors to the road. A car slowed down, almost stopping in front of the house. “I think that was Sadi’s car,” Lucas said. “She’s crazy, isn’t she?” Tessa asked. “Yeah, I think so.” Tessa thought about all that Lucas might bring into her life. Crazy ex’s and a sexual past that was just as crazy. She knew a bright flashing yellow warning light should be slowing her down, if not causing her to put on the brakes completely, but she had never been afraid of anything in her life. More importantly, as hard as she tried she couldn’t fight the feelings flooding her heart for him if she tried. He walked her to the door and kissed her, it was a soft kiss, a sweet kiss. There was no tongue or lip biting. She thought it was some sort of apology kiss. “Text me when you get home,” she said. “Oh, and by the way, I was never a very big football fan, but that quarterback is awesome, and superhot in those tight pants,” Tessa said over her shoulder as she went inside. Tessa washed her face and brushed her teeth and climbed into bed. She put on Lucas’s sweatshirt and grabbed the bear he had given her. Her phone chimed
- made it home baby…Lucas - thanks for letting me know you’re safe….Tessa - of course… Lucas - thank you for trusting me…Tessa - please trust me… Lucas - always be honest with me and I will…Tessa - you make my head spin just thinking about you; I’m falling Tessa, hard and fast… Lucas She reread the text a hundred times smiling and daydreaming about him. - awkward silence, we ok?… Lucas - Of course, goodnight…Tessa - ok then… goodnight… Lucas - BTW…me too…Tessa - phew, that was weird for a second, goodnight baby… Lucas *** Saturday Jade came over at four to get ready. Both their father’s said they could go, but only because it was a double date. Jade hugged Tessa and then started getting ready for their date. “I’ve missed you so much!” “I’ve missed you, too! Which is weird since we see each other most of the day at school, at practice and after practice when we ride home with our boys,” Tessa said, laughing. “So I want to know everything, all the behind the scene stuff about you and Tommy.” “I want to know about you guys, too,” Jade said. “We can make this easy, swap phones and read texts,” Tessa suggested. They did. Tessa read the texts, Tommy was so sweet, and they talked about music and books. He goes to church with his family every week and he has two sisters, one older, one younger. He works on the weekends at one of his parent’s many convenient stores. His parents have been married for twenty years and are very happy. He has not had sex yet but wants to with Jade when she’s ready and he’s sure she’s the one, the forever one. He writes cute silly little poems and sends them to her throughout the day and sometimes in the middle of the night. Tessa smiled when she finished reading them. “Jade, he’s amazing, I am so happy for you.” “Wow Tessa, intense. You never told me about Thursday morning. Do tell,” Jade said. “He picked me up from my mom’s and brought me to school.” “What time did he get there? The message texts said he would be there by 7:12. So what happened for almost an hour, Tessa?” Jade persisted. “We played a game.” “Like a board game?” “Naked twister, and he won. You should see the rules for what the loser has to give up at the end,” Tessa said, laughing. “Tessa, seriously? Tell me!” “Okay, I told him that I liked the kissing thing but really wanted to get to know him. We compromised;
each question answered got a kiss. It was very enlightening,” Tessa said. “You are SO bad Tessa,” Jade said, “and the texts! He’s falling fast and hard? That was so cute. Too bad he has baggage, huh? And the baggage followed him here, too. That’s a total downer.” “Sadi’s nuts,” Tessa said. “But I’m not worried about it. We’ll be fine or we won’t, we’ll see.” Tessa looked in the mirror, searching her face to make sure she looked as cool about the situation as she was trying to seem. “What are you wearing tonight?” “Not sure. What are you thinking?” Jade asked as she fixed her hair. “Something that shows off the goods I’ve been hiding all summer. I have boobs now, Jade!” she laughed. “And I have you tonight, so I am safe!” “I think you should wear your long black skirt with that hot pink V- neck top and your black cropped jacket with your cowgirl boots, hair down and straight. I’ll put some makeup on you, too,” Jade said. “Okay, but only light makeup,” Tessa insisted. She never wore anything that fit, she was very selfconscious of her body and make up was taboo for her, the less attention the better, but not tonight. “What are you wearing, Miss Jade?” “This,” Jade pulled out a red knee length halter dress and a black denim jacket, “with black heels.” Jade worked her make- up magic. When they were done getting ready, they looked in the mirror. Both of them looked great. They walked out into the kitchen and John and Jack were sitting at the table looking uneasy. The boys picked them up and promised to have them home by midnight, and John and Jack stood in the window watching their girls leave for their first dates. They walked out and got in the back seat, the boys in the front. Tessa looked out the window at her father and waved. *** Lucas pulled into a restaurant in downtown Ithaca and they all got out of the car. Neither girl had ever been there, but when they walked in it was obvious that the hostess knew Tommy. Tessa thought he must come here often. “Good evening, Tom. A table for four tonight?” The hostess asked. “Yes, ma’am. Could we sit on the deck please?” She led them out to the deck. The restaurant was on Cayuga Lake and they were seated at a table next to a huge fire pit. Lucas and Tommy pulled the chairs out for them and they sat down. The hostess handed them all menus and excused herself. “You look so different tonight,” Lucas said as he looked at her. “You look great everyday, but wow Tessa, you are looking…. Wow. That’s all I can say.” “Pretty girl, look at you,” Tommy’s eyes raked over Jade’s body. “You turned into pretty woman tonight.” Jade choked on her water. Tessa reached over and patted her back, “You okay?” he asked. Jade looked over and whispered, “You do know that Pretty Woman is a movie about a hooker, don’t you?” “Um no, wow, you know I didn’t mean that, right?” Tommy asked, clearly embarrassed. “I didn’t know. You watch porn?” he asked shocked. “No!” she said loudly. “Everything okay?” Tessa asked. “Can we go to the bathroom please?” Jade said standing and taking Tessa’s hand. Once in the bathroom, Jade told her what Tommy had said. Tessa laughed out loud, Jade looked awfully serious and then started laughing, too. They went to the bathroom and washed their hands and laughed some more. They went back to the table and Tessa saw Lucas trying not to laugh and Tommy looking uncomfortable. “Funny, right?” Lucas whispered in Tessa’s ear as he pushed her chair in. They ordered dinner, and the waitress brought a bottle of wine to the table. They all looked at each
other and avoided the bottle. Lucas and Tommy went to the bathroom, and Tessa noticed a woman who looked like her mother sitting in the dark corner of the deck with a man. It can’t be, she thought. It was, and he was rubbing her hand. We just need time apart…You don’t know what I have lived for twenty years. Everything he mom had told Tessa and her siblings was a lie. Everything she had been brought up to believe was a joke. Everything she had avoided and was ashamed of was BULLSHIT! She grabbed the bottle and poured herself a glass, drinking it down before Jade could say anything. Then she poured another. “Tessa,” Jade whispered, “what are you doing?” Tessa continued staring at the corner and slammed back another glass of wine. Jade reached for the bottle, but Tessa snagged it out of her hand and poured a third glass. “What the hell are you doing? This isn’t like you.” “I’m being naughty. And liking it.” Tessa poured another glass. Jade reached for the bottle again. “If you touch that, I will scream and we’ll all get in trouble. Leave it alone.” She drank the fourth glass, and the bottle was almost gone when the boys returned. Tessa’s eyes were glassy and Lucas looked at her she was clearly tipsy. Tessa poured yet another class of wine, staring in the same direction; she drank it in two gulps. “Oh my God Tessa,” Jade whispered. Tessa looked over and saw that Jade noticed her mother and the man. “Tessa, let’s go to the bathroom,” Jade said. “Now.” They stood, and Tessa stumbled. After she gained her footing, they walked to the bathroom. “Oh Tessa, I’m sorry,” Jade hugged her. “Fuck that,” Tessa said loudly and the watched Jade send a text. “What are you doing?” “Sending Tommy a message to have Lucas unlock the car and get the food to go. Lets get out of here.” Tessa and Jade were standing by the car when Lucas walked out. “Hey ladies,” he said as he pushed the button unlocking the door. Tessa started to laugh, then jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. She grabbed his head and kissed him wildly. After a moment he pulled away. “Easy tiger,” he laughed. “Jade, what the hell is going on?” “Well, obviously my cousin is drunk, and just so you know, this is a first for her,” Jade said as she pulled Tessa down from him. Music started playing in the background through outdoor speakers and Tessa started dancing by herself in the empty parking space beside Lucas’s car. “Lucas come dance with me, and I’ll tell you all about it,” Tessa said laughing. “Jade, here’s my purse. Get my money out and pay for my first bottle of wine. And grab me another.” Lucas handed Jade his credit card. “I got dinner. Skip the bottle, and go and help Tommy out of this jam. If there’s any problem, because of the wine text me. Oh, and leave a good tip. That might help.” Lucas walked to Tessa as Jade headed into the restaurant. “Hey baby… what’s going on?” “I’m dancing, and I want you,” she pulled him in by the waist, “to dance, or something, with me.” “How about we talk over here for a minute first?” he said, leading her to a bench in the garden area beside the restaurant’s entrance. “I don’t want to talk,” she said as she sat on his lap and wrapped her legs around him. “I want to dance or kiss your incredibly sexy face.” She began kissing him, and this time, he kissed her back. She pulled away slowly taking his bottom lip with her. “Tessa, I love this, but you’re drunk,” Lucas said, his voice deeper than usual. “Yes, I am, but I know what I want, and I’m sitting on it. Do you know what you want Lucas?” She grabbed his hand and placed it on her ass. “This, right?” He nodded. “But not when you’re loaded and your cousin and Tommy will be out here any minute.”
“Then how about these?” She put his hands on her chest. “Tessa,” Lucas said pulling his hands away, “stop please. You’re killing me.” “Ya know, I think I will be really good in bed,” she said holding his hand to her chest. “Or right here on the bench,” she laughed. She looked at him and tilted her head. “Why so serious, Lucas? This is supposed to be fun, right? And just think you got to second base on our first date.” He stood up with her wrapped around him and carried her to the car. He opened the door and sat her in the seat. Tessa was laughing, Lucas was not. Tommy and Jade came out and got in the backseat. Lucas pulled out of the driveway and headed north. “I have to pee, can you pull over?” Tessa said, trying to open the door. “In a minute. We’ll pull into the park up here, alright?” Lucas asked, holding her back with his right arm. “Sure, I would love to pee in the park,” Tessa laughed. “Pee in the park!” They pulled into the parking area and she jumped out and threw her coat in the car. “I hear music. After I pee, I am going to dance with you, Lucas — dirty dance.” She laughed and ran toward the restroom. Jade ran after her. “She okay?” Tommy asked Lucas. “Apparently not but I have no idea what brought this on, but drunk Tessa could get me in a whole lot of trouble,” Lucas said laughing. “Her mom was there having dinner with some man, in the corner on the deck. They were holding hands. Jade made sure she saw us leave. Pretty damn uncomfortable situation. She must be hurting pretty bad. Be careful. We have to keep her out till she sobers up a bit,” Tommy said, shaking his head as he nodded toward the bathroom towards the girls. Lucas reached in the glove box and grabbed a couple ibuprofen, popped the trunk, and grabbed a few waters. “Why don’t you grab the food — we need to get something into her or she’ll be in a lot more trouble.” Lucas and Tommy were walking toward the restroom when Jade and Tessa came out. “I squatted and peed because public toilets carry germs and diseases. By the way Lucas do you have any STD’s?” Tessa asked. He shook his head no. “Good to know. So I wiped and washed my hands, and now I’m ready to find that music and dance. We need to find where it’s coming from, let’s go.” She started skipping toward the sound. Lucas ran up to her. “Hey I want you to do me a favor Tessa okay?” She grinned at him and raised her eyebrows and bit her lip as she shook her head yes slowly. By then Jade and Tommy had caught up to them. “I want you to take these two pills and drink this.” He said handing her the water and pills. “Lucas if it’s a date rape drug I can assure you that you don’t need it, I want to remember the first time you’re...” Jade covered her mouth and when Tessa stopped talking she uncovered it. “I am a bit tipsy so maybe we should video tape it that would be nice, huh?” Tessa said giving him a seductive grin. He didn’t respond, so she started to skip toward the music again. He grabbed her arm. “Tessa, please take these. Your head’s already gonna hurt like hell tomorrow.” “Anything you want, Lucas. And I mean anything.” She smiled and swallowed the pills, drinking the whole bottle of water. “Satisfied?” “Not yet.” His voice was huskier than before. “Will you sit and eat with me, Tessa? A picnic?” “Sure, I will.” She sat on the ground and patted the spot next to her. “Looks like Lucas is who Tessa wants to take care of her right now, Jade. Can you and I walk over there and eat?” Tommy asked. “Sure, just not too far though,” Jade said. Lucas sat down, opened the food container, and pulled out the plastic forks. “I want to feed you. I wanna sit on your lap as I feed you, okay?” Tessa asked.
Lucas closed his eyes momentarily. “That would be nice.” She pulled her skirt up and straddled him. She took a fork and twirled it around in the pasta. She picked it up, and it fell off. She tried again and failed. She picked it up with her fingers and shoved them in his mouth. She slowly pulled them out and watched him chew. He shifted, and she felt him beneath her. Her eyes widened and she smirked, slowly moved her hips in a circle. He groaned and closed his eyes. “That feels very good, Lucas.” She moved against him even harder and whimpered. He grabbed her hips, stopping her movement as he swallowed the pasta. “Tessa, this is not…” Tessa took another handful of pasta and shoved it in his mouth. She was pulling her hand out when he lightly bit down. She felt her nipples harden. Lost in her arousal, she touched them and laughed. She pulled her shirt up to look at them. Caressing her bra, she giggled. “Bite these please.” “Fuck Tessa, I want you so bad right now, but you’re drunk. Please cover yourself before I explode.” She grabbed his face and said in a sultry voice. “Bite now please.” “Tessa, I’m going to tell you one more time to pull your shirt down, or I’m going to get Jade over here, understand?” Tessa grinned. He started to talk, and she shoved more pasta in his mouth. She pulled her fingers out and licked them. Lucas began to choke. She heard Jade coming over and quickly pulled her shirt down. She handed Lucas the bottle of water and said, “Put this in your mouth and suck it down.” “Everything okay?” Jade asked. “No, not really,” Tessa responded. “He won’t touch my breasts, and Jade, they are great breasts. Look!” She pulled up her shirt. “Tessa — enough!” Jade snapped. “You need to lighten up. Have a drink, that’ll help,” Tessa smiled. “Tessa, get up and come with me,” Jade demanded. “Are we going to find the music?” Tessa asked. “Yes, we are,” Jade said. “Good, because I want to dance,” Tessa said excitedly. She stood up and held Jade’s hand, running toward the music in the distance. Lucas and Tommy picked up the food containers, threw them in the nearby trash and then followed the girls. There was a sign that said LIVE BAND and an arrow pointing to the right. They followed it. “Thank God, because a dead band would suck,” Tessa said. Jade laughed. They found the band singing 80’s cover music and Tessa ran to the dance floor and started dancing with about ten other people. Tessa motioned for them to come over and Jade, Tommy, and Lucas looked at each other and shook their heads, then all burst out laughing. Tessa smiled at them, pretending to cast a fishing line at Jade. Jade danced out to her. “Lucas, look at them. They’re beautiful,” Tommy said as he watched them dance around together. “Yeah they are man, but the blonde is begging for it tonight and killing me,” Lucas said. “She asked me to bite her nipples.” “No way!” Tommy said, shocked. “And you didn’t?” “No, she’s drunk,” Lucas said. “Since when has that stopped you?” Tommy asked. “I’m sober, I have some control tonight. She is nothing like the girls at the parties I hook up with. They’re there for a reason. I want to do right by her, ya know?” “Yeah, I get it man,” he said looking at Jade. “Dude, did you really not know what Pretty Woman was?” Lucas asked. “Apparently not,” Tommy laughed. His face turned serious as he looked off into the distance. “Oh
damn, we’ve got company.” Lucas turned and saw Sadi and her friends walking toward them. “Shit.” Tommy’s ex, Kate was with her. Kate was short and had reddish curly hair and green eyes. When they came closer Kate walked up and gave Tommy a big hug and Sadi stood staring at Lucas. “How are you, Tommy?” Kate asked. “Good and you?” Tommy asked. “I’m great. I miss you. Are you ok?” she asked watching him look past her at the dance floor. “I’m fine. How is the new school?” Tommy asked “Good. How’s yours?” He didn’t answer. “You okay Tommy? You seem distracted.” “He’s on a date,” Sadi said. “Oh, I see,” Kate looked at him. “Which one is she?” “The one in the red dress and black hair dancing with the blonde farm girl,” Sadi said. “I guess he still likes the color red.” The other girls laughed. Kate didn’t. “Lucas, the farm girl cleans up okay, but you have got to miss this.” She pointed to herself. “No, Sadi I don’t.” Lucas looked toward Tessa. “You okay, Kate? Are you dating anyone?” Tommy asked. “I’ve been on a few dates,” she said. Tommy smiled. “Good. I hope he’s good to you, Kate.” “Remember Gavin? He’s in college now,” Kate said. “He was on our football team right?” he asked. She nodded. “He seemed like a nice guy.” “He is,” Kate smiled. “Good I’m glad.” “Let’s dance girls,” Sadi said and started running toward the floor. Lucas looked at Tommy, “We’d better go.” Sadi and the girls decided to dance next to Tessa and Jade, the two girls immediately noticed them. Tessa started laughing and Jade scanned the crowd and saw the boys walking toward them. “Hey Sadi! How are you?” Tessa said laughing as she waved at her. Lucas came up behind her and spun her around. “Ready to go baby?” “No way I want to dance, look!” Tessa laughed, “My friend Sadi is here.” “Tessa and you’re drunk, we should go,” Lucas said seriously. “Buzz kill. Please dance with me Lucas,” she said and jumped in his arms. He caught her and smiled, “One dance and then we leave, ok?” The band played Tesla’s Love Song. He pulled her toward him and smiled. She grinned at him and Tommy and Jade joined them. Tessa and Jade started singing, occasionally leaning their heads together. The guys laughed and joined in at the chorus oblivious to the stares they received from Sadi and crew. The next song was Eternal Flame by The Bangles. “Baby do you know this song?” he whispered in her ear. She nodded. “Sing to me please.” She did, holding his face and gazing into his eyes. The song ended and he leaned in and gently kissed her lips. “Get a room,” Sadi yelled. He looked at Tessa. “Don’t let her ruin this moment.” “I won’t.” Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. *** As Jade and Tommy danced, he told her his ex was there. “With Sadi? Which one is she?” Jade asked. “The red head. Kate is her name.”
“I want to meet her.” “Why?” Tommy asked. “I don’t know, but she’s smiling at me now.” Tommy turned around and saw her. “Okay, I guess. It’s just weird.” They walked over to her. “Uh Kate, this is Jade. Jade, Kate.” “Nice to meet you, Kate. You’re beautiful,” Jade said. “Well, nice to meet you, Jade. You are as well. So you’re Tommy’s girlfriend?” “I am.” “I’m his ex. I hope that this isn’t uncomfortable for you.” Jade smiled. “Oddly, it’s not.” “Well, I wish you both happiness. Be good to him, he’s a great guy.” Kate hugged Jade. “I will, thank you.” Jade was shocked by the hug. *** “Check that out,” Lucas whispered to Tessa. “Jade didn’t even punch her in the eye.” Tessa scowled. “Probably because she didn’t attack her.” “I know, baby. I’m just joking.” Tessa hiccupped. “I don’t feel well.” “Let’s get out of here. Hey Tommy, we’re going to head back to the car.” “Oh Tessa, he likes it in the front seat, me on his lap.” Sadi yelled. “That won’t be happening. I’m not on birth control yet, Sadi. Don’t want to take any chances,” Tessa shouted. Lucas’s jaw dropped. “Tessa, don’t be a bitch.” Tessa slapped his face, she was shocked, he was angry. Jade ran toward her as she stormed away. Sadi smiled. “Feisty little one, isn’t she?” Lucas glared at her and walked away. He got to the car and hit unlock. Jade and Tommy climbed in the back. Tessa sat in the front and didn’t look at him. He started the car. The clock flashed ten o’clock. They drove down the road, and Tessa grabbed her phone. She had several missed texts from her Mom and Dad and Alex. Her stomach turned. “I think I’m going to throw up.” Lucas turned down a dirt road and pulled over. Tessa jumped out and began vomiting. Tessa felt her hair being pulled away from her face as she continued. Jade. When Tessa was finished, Lucas yelled to Jade. “Here’s some water, a toothbrush, and tooth paste.” He handed them to her through the window. “Did she get any on her?” Tessa looked down at her shirt and looked at Jade sadly. “A little,” Jade told Lucas as she rubbed Tessa’s back. Lucas jumped out and walked to the back of the car, grabbing a sweatshirt and mesh shorts from his gym bag. He watched as Tessa brushed her teeth and Jade put her hair up. She raised her arms and Jade got her shirt off and pulled her skirt down. She stood there in her bra and underpants. Lucas tried to look away, but he couldn’t. Jade put the clean clothes on her and hugged her. Jade grabbed Tessa’s clothes and asked if Lucas had a bag. He handed her one from the glove box. Jade shoved her clothes in it and he popped the trunk. Tessa’s phone chimed and he looked at it; the last message was from Alex. - Tessa where are you? We’re worried!... Alex - Hey Alex this is Lucas, she’s safe but a mess, and Jade is taking care of her now. Can you meet us at your camp alone? No parents in about an hour…Lucas
- I will…Alex Tessa and Jade were hugging and Tessa began to cry. “It’s going to be okay, Tessa. You’ll feel better in the morning.” “No, I won’t.” Tessa wiped her eyes as they walked toward the car. “You okay?” Lucas asked without looking at her as he pulled away. “No, I’m not. You called me a bitch,” she yelled at him and started hiccupping. “I said not to be a bitch, Tessa. There’s a difference. And you slapped me.” He continued to look straight ahead. “You were sticking up for her and called me a bitch. Of course, I slapped you. Call me a bitch again and see what happens!” Tessa yelled. “Tessa, you’re drunk, stop,” Jade pleaded. “Jade, he loves her,” she said sing- songly. “He wanted to be her baby…” “Now you’re being a little bitch,” Lucas yelled at her. “Just shut up!”
CHAPTER SEVEN No one said a word the rest of the ride home. “Lucas, you missed the turn,” Jade said, when he passed Tessa’s house. “Alex is meeting us at camp,” Lucas seethed. “You called my brother?” Tessa asked. “No, I answered his text on your phone while you were throwing up on the side of the road,” Lucas sneered. They pulled into camp. Alex was standing there, arms crossed. He looked both concerned and mad “You stay,” Lucas said to Tessa. Alex walked toward them. “She okay?” “Just let her sit there for a minute, Alex,” Jade said. “We went to dinner and she saw…” “I know what she saw, Jade. I’ve known for a week that Mom was seeing someone. Dad told me.” Tessa jumped out of the car and ran toward him. “You knew, Alex, and you didn’t tell me? Dad knew?” she screamed. “What the fuck is wrong with you two?” She started crying, then tripped over a rock and fell. Lucas grabbed her and helped her up. “Is she drunk?” Alex yelled. “Yes, I am! I’m loaded, Alex, and guess what else? I showed Lucas my boobs and asked him to bite them, and I wanted him to,” she screamed. Alex went to grab Tessa and Lucas said, “Not now, man. Leave her alone, not now.” “You need to leave, Lucas. I’ll deal with her, and you’ve done MORE than enough,” Alex said through clenched teeth. “Don’t talk to him like that. He was a good boy; you should be patting him on the back. He wouldn’t touch me,” Tessa yelled back at him. “Tessa, enough. I got this, man. Give it a minute, please.” Lucas picked her up, carried to the other side of the car, and set her down. She could hear Jade telling Alex the story about the restaurant and the wine and the way Tessa was coming on to Lucas and he was a perfect gentleman. She asked him about the man with her mother and he told her that he worked at the hospital with her. “Tessa, drink this,” Lucas returned, handing her a bottle of water as he sat next to her. “I didn’t call you a bitch at the park; I said not to act like one. I trusted you with my deepest darkest secret and expected you to keep that secret. Now I’m not a Sadi fan, Tessa, but that was mean. Cruel actually. I have watched you for over a week. How you treat people, your softness, was what drove me crazy about you. I didn’t see that tonight. I know you’re hurting, and I’m sorry I can’t fix it for you, but don’t ever slap me across the face again. Got it?” “You called me a bitch in the car,” she whispered. “You were way out of line.” “Don’t call me that again, even if I deserve it. Got it?” He stuck out his hand to shake. “Deal?” “Deal,” Tessa smiled sadly. “You ready to see your brother yet?” “No,” she snapped. He pulled her against him, and she lay her head on his chest. “Why didn’t you want to touch me tonight?”
“I wanted to Tessa; your breasts are beautiful, perfect actually. It just wasn’t right. I don’t want to have sloppy drunk sex with you, not for your first time,” Lucas winked. “Well, I wasn’t asking for sex, I was asking you to, well you know,” she said shyly. “Not when you’re drunk, Tessa. Only when you’re sober and very alert and not for a long time,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Drunk women are good for one thing, someday maybe I’ll explain why I feel that way. You are better than that, and I want no regrets with you.” He kissed her head. “Rest.” *** Tessa squinted as she woke up still in the field in his arms. She immediately felt like her head was going to explode. She groaned as she sat up. “How are you feeling, baby?” “Like an elephant stepped on my head,” she groaned. “I guess you drank too much, huh?” Lucas stood up, extending his hand to her. “What happened? I mean, I remember drinking and seeing my mom, but the rest is a blur.” “You really want to know?” The sun stung her eyes. “Ouch. I need to sit.” “Maybe you should ask your brother — you told him everything,” Lucas chuckled. She sat back down and held her head. “Or maybe you should just tell me.” After Lucas recapped the events of the night Tessa sat wondering what she would do now. She also wondered why it was Lucas didn’t want to touch her. “Are we okay?” “Yes, baby, we’re fine.” “You sure you liked your two new friends?” “I can’t wait to meet them on a more personal level.” Lucas smiled and kissed her head. “You are relentless.” *** Alex brought Tessa home. She couldn’t even look at him, let alone answer his annoying questions. It was still early enough that her father was still in bed. She snuck up the stairs and into her room and crashed. At noon, she got up to go to the bathroom. Alex and John sat on the couch. “Stomach bug?” her father asked as she walked passed him. “Uh- huh,” she said. After eating some toast she decided to soak in the bath. She stayed in until the water ran cold. She wrapped herself in a robe and headed back to her room. She was passing by the living room when she saw her mother sitting there with her brother and father. She walked past them. “Tessa, we need to talk,” her mother said. “I’m going to get dressed,” she said, stomping up the stairs. She slammed the door and looked at her phone. She had missed a text from Lucas. - hey baby, how are you feeling? If you’re feeling alright my mother would like to meet you tonight, she’s going to BBQ….Lucas - I just got this, just ate toast, don’t think I can handle real food, but would love to get out of here, Mommy is here to talk I will text you back when that hell is over, got to get dressed and head down TTYL…Tessa - Hmm Tessa where my mind is right now…you drive me crazy…Dinner is at 5, I’ll pick you up…Lucas
Drives him crazy, she thought. Good maybe he would act on it before she was ninety. *** Tessa went downstairs and sat in the chair opposite her parents. “Talk,” she snapped. “I have been on three dates with the man you saw me with last night. Your father knows everything about it. I don’t feel it’s something that you should be concerned about,” Maggie said. “Why do you need to go on dates, Mom? You’re married and have five kids for crying out loud!” Tessa said, scowling at her. “Tessa, this is an adult situation and you don’t get to make the decisions here. Things haven’t changed. We both still love you,” John said. “Thank you, John,” Maggie said. “Are you freaking kidding me? You’re okay with this?” she yelled at him. “Hey Dad, why don’t we set her up an online dating profile and start pimping her out?” “That’s enough, young lady,” Maggie said. “I will see you at your game on Tuesday!” She stood and hugged Alex. “Don’t plan on it, bitch,” Tessa screamed. Her mother slapped her across the face. Tessa stood up and ran to the bathroom. She couldn’t believe she had said that to her mother. Damn it, her face hurt. She started laughing and couldn’t stop. “Tessa, you okay in there?” Alex said just outside the door. “Hell, yes,” she said, still laughing. “Open the door,” Alex said. “It isn’t locked,” she said. He walked in and looked at her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.” Alex eyes were sad. She continued laughing. “Don’t you see,” she said “this takes us off the hook. No more straight and narrow, Alex. Now we can let loose and have fun!” “No Tessa, that’s not right, and you know it.” He hugged her and she started to cry. “Why, because she said so? Look at her now, Alex! All of our life we have done what she says, and now look at her. Seriously, we’ve been taught all our lives that God’s law and family are what matters the most, and we’ve done a real good job of it. And now look at her! Look at her,” she screamed. “I will not do a damn thing she says. She’s nothing but a phony. And what the hell is he doing? Letting her date other people? What is this? So no, Alex, I won’t follow their rules,” she said. “I’ll do what feels right and good,” Tessa was sobbing. Alex held her tighter. “Tessa, you’re their child, not their judge. Keep that in mind,” Alex said. Tessa went upstairs. She knew Alex was right. How could her Mother be so messed up when she was the one who had taught them right from wrong? She lay in her bed and cried herself to sleep. At four o’clock her phone chimed and woke her up. - Hey baby I will be there in thirty minutes...Lucas. - Ok…Tessa She jumped out of bed and grabbed clothes out of her closet. She didn’t even know if it was warm or cold out. She ran downstairs and looked in the bathroom mirror. She was a mess, all puffy and red. She washed her face “Alex,” she yelled out of the room. “What’s the weather like?” “Sixty- five degrees and sunny. Why?” he answered. “I forgot I was invited to dinner at Lucas’s at five. He’s on his way, and I’m a wreck.”
“Did you ask Dad?” “No, can you tell him for me?” She put up the sides of her hair in a clip and combed her hair out, then added light make up to hide the redness in her face. She ran upstairs and threw clothes out of her closet until she found some black knee length shorts. She threw on a blue cami and a grey cardigan. She grabbed some black thong sandals and dressed quickly. She ran down the stairs to find Lucas sitting at the table with her father. Where was Alex? “Feeling better, Tessa?” John asked. Good lord, what had Lucas told him? She nodded. “Lucas said he thinks maybe it was the food. His stomach has been off today, too. You’ll be home early, right? It’s a school night.” Her dad stood up, kissed her cheek and walked in the living room. She breathed a sigh of relief. “You ready to go?” “Yes.” She headed for the door. “Hey, you going to grab some shoes? I could carry you but…” “Ha- ha.” “Grab a swim suit, Tessa.” “Don’t you think it’s too cold?” “Don’t sass me, girl.” He smiled and she ran to get her stuff. When she walked outside he was leaning against his car smiling. He was wearing jeans, a tee shirt and that damn white hat. Simple, nothing extraordinary but she honestly knew that in this case the man made the clothes. “You gonna stand there all day Tessa?” She shook her head no, and got in the car. Once on the road Lucas asked, “You feeling okay?” “No, I feel awful, and I look like death.” He grabbed her hand. “You look great. How did things go with your Mom today?” “Awful. I hate her.” “Those are harsh words.” “Sorry. I was just taught one way and they can act another all of the sudden. It’s not right. I called my mother a bitch today and she slapped me across the face. I know I deserved it, but it still pissed me off.” “In less than twenty four hours we have both called someone a bitch and been slapped for it.” “I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember.” She grabbed his hand. “I’m messing with you, baby. So you are about to meet my mother, a functioning drunk since I was three, who brings different men home all the time. I’m fine, haven’t always made the best choices, but I’m fine. I don’t like what she does, but I’m respectful to her and it has worked so far. Let this situation work for you, Tessa, and you’ll be alright.” “I’ll try,” she said. “I am getting really nervous about meeting your Mom.” “You’ll be fine. Just don’t judge me based on her.” They drove up a big hill and passed a bunch of small homes. At the top of the hill was a newer colonial. It was magnificent, much different than her home. He pulled into the driveway and parked in front of the attached garage. She opened the door and got out, looking around. She loved how quiet it was. “Come on.” He took her hand and walked around back. *** A sidewalk led through a flowery path, and Lucas opened the gate to the pool area. The pool was beautiful, the whole area was, and there was even a hot tub and an outdoor kitchen. His mom was standing
at the grill cooking chicken. She had on a tank top with a wrap around her waist. She had long curly blonde hair and a perfect figure. She smiled and had perfect white teeth and full lips, just like Lucas. “Mom, this is Tessa. Tessa, my Mom,” Lucas introduced them. “You are stunning,” Tessa said and immediately turned red. “And you are precious,” she said, hugging Tessa. “And gorgeous! Lucas, can we keep her?” “That’s the plan, Mom,” he said, smiling. “It’ll be about 30 minutes. How about you two take a swim? The pool is nice and warm.” Sounds great. Come into the house, Tessa. I’ll show you the bathroom,” he said grabbing her hand and leading her in. They entered through the family room, to the left was the kitchen, to the right a formal dining area. The front of the house was a large living room and the stairway. They went upstairs, and he showed her his mom’s room. It was huge, with a king size cast iron bed. The walls were a deep wine color. Her bathroom was also very large; a shower and separate Jacuzzi bathtub, granite countertops and double sink. The toilet was in a tiny private room opposite side the enormous walk in closet. It had light purple walls and stone colored tile. There were two slightly smaller rooms with a bathroom between them. His room was identical to his mother’s in size, except the walls were gray and the room had wooden floors. His bedding and curtains were black. The bed was a king sized four post black bed. In one corner was a full trophy case with a weight bench in front of it. She walked around and looked in his large closet, which happened to be bigger than Tessa’s with more clothes than she owned. His bathroom was a bit smaller than his mother’s with only one sink. On his large black dresser were a couple pictures. Tessa assumed they were photos of his siblings. There were three prom pictures; one was with Sadi. His room was spotless, just like the rest of his house. “Your home is beautiful.” “It pales in comparison to you,” Lucas said, raising his eyebrow. “Let’s get dressed,” he said taking off his shirt. She stared at him, and he laughed. “You like what you see?” She blushed. “Yes.” He walked up to her and kissed her hard on the lips. She moaned and he pulled away. “You like what you see, Tessa, so stop looking down. Look at me.” He undid his pants and they slipped to the ground. “Don’t look away, Tessa.” “Your mom, Lucas,” she whispered. “She’s not coming up here trust me, we could be in here until midnight, and she wouldn’t come in.” He walked up to her in white boxer briefs. He kissed her again, this time longer and harder. He grabbed her head and started kissing down her neck. He slipped her sweater off her shoulders. She started to tense up. He kissed her harder and pulled her shirt up and over her head. She was growing excited, and she felt her nipples start to harden and a knot tighten right below her belly button. As they kissed, he skillfully undid her bra with one hand. He slipped one strap off her shoulder and kissed it. He did the same to the other strap. Her erect nipples now rubbed against his bare body. She let out a whimper. He kissed her harder and undid the button on her pants, then the zipper. The pants slipped off and fell on the floor, she could feel his erection pressing against her belly, and she dug his back with her nails. He groaned. Then he picked her up and grabbed her legs, wrapping them around his waist. She moaned loudly when the knot in her belly was replaced by a hot pulsing between her legs. He laid her on his bed and positioned himself on top of her. “Oh God, Lucas stop, please.” “You don’t like this?” he asked, looking at her. “Too much... I like it too much,” she said squirming. He chuckled. “It’s not time yet. Just wanted to feel my favorite girls against my skin. How does it feel
to you?” “Lucas,” she whined. He laughed and sat up. “Exactly how I felt last night, Tessa.” He stood up and dropped his boxers and her eyes widen. “And that’s how I felt when you showed me your perfect tits.” She ogled his muscular ass as he walked into his closet. Holy shit, he was perfect. Not that she has anything to compare him to, but the few nude men she had seen in movies, and the articles she had curiously read… well, he was big and erect. Her body throbbed even more just thinking about it. She felt heat building between her legs and her panties were damp. He walked out in his swim trunks. “What are you waiting for, baby? Let’s go swimming.” Her eyes shot daggers at him. “I don’t want to move.” He laughed out loud as he grabbed her bag. He took her swim top and put it over her head. He pulled her up and went for her waistband on her underwear, and she moved back away. “Baby, I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.” “Mine is very angry at you,” she scowled at him as she slapped his hand away. He laughed harder and turned around. “I’m not looking,” Lucas laughed. She saw him smiling at her through the reflection in the very large mirror. She grabbed her bag and ran into the bathroom. “No, you’re not!” she said, slamming the door. She was pissed at him and she knew how ridiculous that was. After she changed, she walked out. He was trying not to laugh. She walked out the door and went down the stairs and out the door and dove in the pool. He was laughing when he did a cannonball behind her. They swam to the stairs and sat there. “You still mad at me, Tessa?” Lucas asked, giving her puppy dog eyes. “Yes, I am. I think you’re trying to torture me.” They both laughed. “Did you like what you saw?” he asked, quietly in her ear. She looked down. “Of course.” “What did you want to do with it?” he whispered. His hot breath made her hair stand up on the back of her neck. She arched her eyebrow and whispered seductively in his ear. “First I want to touch it, then maybe rub it up and down, slow soft strokes. Maybe rub it against my panties because that feels really good.” She sat back, looked into his blazing blue eyes, and slowly licked her lips. She leaned forward and whispered. “I kind of wanted to run my tongue up and down it and then…” She moaned into his ear, “I wanted to bite it.” She pushed off the stairs and swam to the other side. When she came up she could hear him laughing. “Lucas, honey, dinner is ready!” He got out, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. He stood at the end of the pool with one for her; she swam up and walked up the stairs. She sat wrapped in a towel while Lucas got their food. She was shivering. “Honey, get Tessa a sweatshirt,” his mother said. “She’s cold.” Lucas walked into the house. “He likes you Tessa, a lot,” his mother said while he was gone. “He’s only invited one other girl over for a dinner with just the two of us.” “Sadi.” Tessa let her name escape her mouth. Stupid mouth, she thought. “I never liked her. I liked you the minute you walked in through the gate.” “Thank you.” Lucas walked outside and put his sweatshirt over Tessa’s head. She put her arms through it and he pulled it down and kissed her on the nose. “Better, baby?” “Yes, thank you.”
“Hey mom, I brought you a sweater.” Lucas draped it over his mother’s shoulder and kissed her head. Lucas’s mom shared stories about Lucas while they ate. He looked at her with love in his eyes. He laughed the same belly laugh when she spoke about his childhood as he did when he was amused by Tessa. She saw nothing of the monster she had pictured in her head. When they finished eating, he cleared the table and when Tessa got up to help he stopped her. “No baby, you sit I got this. Sit and relax.” He took the plates in the house. “Tessa, he adores you. Thank you.” She grabbed Tessa’s hand. “Thank you Tessa for bringing his smile back.” He cleared his throat and looked annoyed. “Tessa, you ready to go home?” His mother looked at him let out a slow deep breath as she closed her eyes. “It was very nice meeting you.” She stood and hugged Tessa and turned and smiled at Lucas. He had Tessa’s clothes and bag. “Lucas, what’s wrong?” she said, grabbing his hand slowing him down as he walked quickly towards the car. “Nothing, baby.” Lucas pulled his hand away and ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s not true. You’re upset about something. Tell me.” She said as she sat in the passenger seat and he pulled quickly out the driveway. “I don’t want to fuckin talk about it.” He drove faster. “Please, slow down,” Tessa asked. . He didn’t. “Please Lucas, you’re scaring me,” she said. He turned a corner and the car skidded on some loose gravel. They did a three hundred and sixty degree turn. Tessa jumped out and started walking as soon as the car came to a stop. “Tessa, come back here,” Lucas yelled after her. She kept walking. He ran up behind her, grabbed her, and carried her back to the car, kicking and trying to wiggle out of his arms. He sat her firmly on the hood. “Let me go now!” she screamed, trying to catch her breath. He didn’t let go. “What the fuck! You’re scaring me! Let me go,” she said, pushing him away. She started shaking, partly because she was almost in an accident and partly because she still wore her damp suit under Lucas’s sweatshirt. He pulled her into him. “Lucas, let me go.” He let go of her, and she reached inside the car for grabbed her shorts. She put them on, grabbed her bag, and started walking home. “Tessa, you’re five miles from home. Get in the car. I’ll drive slow, I promise,” he called after her. She threw her backpack on and began to run. He followed her all the way home. She walked in and he saw her bedroom light turn on. Tessa flopped on the bed and tried to process what had just happened and what it was that made Lucas so angry. *** Lucas drove home and tried to call Tessa. He heard a phone ringing and looked around his car — Tessa’s cell phone was on the floor. He would give it to her tomorrow. He read through her messages; she hadn’t deleted any from him. He took her phone inside with him. His Mom was sitting on the stool at the counter when he got home. “Lucas, come in here,” she said. “Are you angry with me?” “Why did you have to say that about me being happy again? Why, Mom?” “Because I see it, Lucas. She cares about you very much. I can tell,” his mother said. “And for that I’m grateful.” “Well, pissed off Lucas is back, so enjoy. She and I are through,” he said as he stormed upstairs. He slammed his door behind him and started lifting some weights. When he was done, he showered and put on pajama pants. He pulled Tessa’s phone out of his gym bag and took a picture of himself, then
set it as her ID when he called. He punched in his credit card information and bought the song Eternal Flame and set it as his ringtone. If she wouldn’t talk to him tomorrow at least she would see he still gave a shit. After a few moments of tossing and turning he fell asleep.
CHAPTER EIGHT Lucas walked into school that day looking hot, and he knew it. His light blue baggy jeans hung on his hips, and his Navy polo hugged his toned body. He ran upstairs to Tessa’s locker. When the whispering began he watched her turn and see him coming. She grabbed her books and walked fast in the opposite direction. He yelled after her as she started down the back stairs. She stopped and turned around. His eyes were guarded, his jaw set. She couldn’t tell which Lucas she was getting. “You left your phone in my car,” he said, tossing it to her. He grabbed her hand and walked her to class; she was so mad at him and even madder at herself for not dropping his hand and telling him to pound salt. At the door of her first class, he went to kiss her and she turned so he kissed her cheek. She was pissed and he was fucking clueless. Music started playing from her phone. She quickly turned down the volume and saw his picture staring back at her; wet hair, shirtless, and that look that made her want to jump out of her skin - That was embarrassing, Tessa…Lucas - Well let me apologize Lucas…Tessa He waited two minutes and the apology didn’t come. - We need to talk…Lucas She didn’t respond - see you at lunch Tessa…Lucas She ignored him again. The day went slowly and at lunch she chose to go to the library. - Cute move Tessa, see you after practice, please?…Lucas - don’t count on it…Tessa He watched her when she walked out to the field for practice later that day, She avoided looking in his direction. When the field hockey team returned, he was getting an ass chewing from his coach. She looked in his direction and quickly away. - Tessa I am asking nicely please come out I want to talk to you…Lucas - not today Lucas….Tessa - Not cool Tessa…Lucas Tessa went home and did her homework. She made dinner and ate with her family. She and the kids went to the park to play at the playground. She was hanging upside down, making silly faces at Kendall, when she saw him standing there. She jumped and almost fell off, but he caught her. “Put me down,” Tessa said. “Hey Kendall, will you go push Jake on the swing? I’ll be over in a couple minutes.” She turned to face Lucas. “What are you doing here?” “I needed to see you, Tessa, to tell you I’m sorry,” Lucas whispered. “Sorry for what, Lucas? Sorry for making me completely uncomfortable in front of your mother? For almost killing us in your car? For not letting me go when I asked you to? For tormenting me every time we are alone? Sorry for not answering me when I ask what’s wrong? Sorry for what!”
“I don’t know,” he answered. “Well, when you figure it out, let me know!” She grabbed the kids and stormed away. *** Tessa tucked the kids into bed and went out on the deck. She crossed her arms over her body and rubbed her arms, it was a chilly night. She went in and grabbed Lucas’s sweatshirt out of the dirty clothes basket. It smelled so good, almost as good as he looked at any moment of any day. She wondered if this would be so hard if he wasn’t so perfect to look at. She walked back outside. A few minutes later, Alex came out. “What are you doing out here?” he asked. “Just sitting.” “Tessa what’s up with you and Lucas?” he asked. “He played like shit at practice today, got yelled at by the coach.” “The coach yelled at him for having an off day?” “Yep” he said. “So what’s going on?” “He makes my head spin, Alex, and I act horribly around him. I’m scared, that’s all,” she confessed. “Do you love him?” “I don’t know,” she laughed. “I do know there isn’t an in- between. Either I can’t get enough of him or I’m furious at him. It scares me.” “Have you told him that?” “No.” “Well, I think you should,” he said. “Preferably before our game on Saturday.” He laughed. Her phone rang. - I’m sorry Tessa for all of it, not just one thing, all of them…Lucas - I accept your apology….Tessa - are we okay then?…Lucas - I don’t know. This is crazy for me…Tessa - I want to come see you now, to talk...Lucas - I have a busy day tomorrow and I need to stay focused, I want this to slow down, it’s all moved crazy fast…Tessa - I don’t want it to Tessa, I need you…Lucas - And I need to slow down, if we are going to work, it needs to slow down… Tessa - Good night Tessa…Lucas - Goodnight….Tessa *** She got to school early, partially because she wanted to see him but the more sensible part wanted to see if he would respect her wishes. Her sensible side won out. She walked to class alone and it didn’t go unnoticed. Her phone chimed.
- Good morning baby, you look gorgeous today....Lucas She read it several times as she walked through the crowded hall. She was so confused as to what she wanted from him. She shoved her phone in her bag and went to class. She spent lunch in study hall again out of necessity; she had a test tomorrow and knew she wouldn’t be able to study tonight after the game. - Lonely at lunch without you…Lucas - Sorry have to study, game tonight, it’s away so we will be home late, test Thursday morning…Tessa - Want some help?...Lucas - No, gotta go…Tessa After school, they loaded the bus for their away game. The football team was outside, and Lucas stood, arms across his chest scowling. The look he was sporting hurt her. She didn’t like to see him or anyone hurting. She jumped off the bus and ran up to him. “Wish me luck?” He hugged her. “Good luck, baby.” Alex smiled at her. “Wish I could be there today, Tessa. Win, okay?” “Of course.” She ran onto the bus and went to the window. “Thank you,” he mouthed. She beamed at him. As afraid of her own feelings s she was she felt like he was hers For now. “You look like you feel better.” Jade said. “I feel better, ready to kick ass.” *** They went into home team’s locker room and changed. Phoebe was nervous. They cranked up the music and danced as they braided each other’s hair. Some girls from the opposing team were whispering and laughing, mocking the four girls. Jade looked at them and rolled her eyes. She saw Kate standing with them and waved. Kate raised her eyebrow and turned to walk away. “Who was that?” Tessa asked. “Tommy’s ex, Kate. You met her on Saturday night. You may not remember her. Anyway, she was really nice, so either that was an act or she’s super competitive.” They all laughed. “Well, now we have to serve them, girls, in a bowl with a spoon,” Phoebe tried acting badass. . The girls laughed and headed for the field. . “Hey, are you two dating Lucas and Tommy?” a blonde girl asked. “Yes, why?” Tessa answered. “How long?” Another girl asked. “A few weeks. But I’m not sure it’s any of your business.” “Been there,” the blonde one said. “Done that.” another chimed in. “Three of us on the team have. Good luck.” One said as they all walked away. “Why is it that skanky bitches want to tell people when they have been used up?” Phoebe asked. *** Tessa was covering blonde number one. “Has he showed you the trick with his tongue yet?” she asked Tessa.
The ball was coming toward them, and Tessa darted past the girl and ran the field dodging players and dribbling the ball. Kate was goalie, but Tessa got it past her and scored the first goal. “Oh, apparently not,” blonde number one said. “Full of frustration, huh?” Tessa was passed the ball again, and this time blonde one purposely pushed Tessa with her hip and was given a green card by the umpire. Tessa was able to pass to Becca, who almost made the second goal. The rest of the period went the same way; Tessa and Becca almost scored several goals, Phoebe played middy and stopped almost all the back shots from being received by the opposing players. Jade was bored in the goal. Lucas pulled in during the last period. He and Tommy got out of the car and sat in the bleachers behind them. “Tessa, look who’s here to see us,” Jade yelled smiling. Tessa turned around, and Lucas gave her a wink. Great, now I’m going to be distracted. She saw the three blondes looking up at him, gushing. Yep… distracted. Blonde number one smiled when they went back onto the field. “So is he here to see you, or one of us?” she sneered at Tessa. Tessa ignored her and scored another goal. The next play started. Blonde one had the ball, but Tessa quickly closed her down. “Bitch,” Blonde One yelled. “Good at it,” Tessa replied, taking the ball downfield and passing it back to Phoebe. Lucas watched as Madison taunted Tessa. It made him angry, but Tessa was holding her own. Tessa had the ball again, and Madison tripped her with her stick. She had the wind knocked out of her when she hit the ground. Phoebe ran over to see if she was alright. Jade followed. Tessa stood up and glared at Madison. The umpire stopped the game, issued Madison a yellow card, and sent her to the sin box. “SO worth it,” Madison yelled. “You are going to sit out, Tessa,” Coach V watched her limp. “We need to fix that.” “Wrap it. I want back out there,” Tessa insisted. Coach shook his head but allowed it. She looked up at Lucas, watching her with narrowed eyes. She smiled at him, and he looked down. She laughed out loud when she was paired with Blonde Two. “What’s so funny?” “You and I paired up. Are you as nasty as Blonde One?” “Worse.” “Perfect,” Tessa goaded. Tessa snagged the ball right away. Blonde Two hit her in the same spot on the leg as the first one, then laughed in her face. Phoebe knocked her to the ground. Tessa grabbed Phoebe and pulled her back. “So not worth it, Phoebe!” Phoebe and Blonde Two both were in the box. Tessa set up for her penalty shot and made it without breaking a sweat. She smirked as she walked away. “Ross! Get in here!!!!” Coach V yelled. She shook her head no. Blonde Three was next. Tessa could not believe her luck. She started laughing. “You’re as crazy as the other two?” Blonde Three smirked at her. “Bring it bitch.” “Tessa,” Lucas yelled standing on the sidelines. “Enough! Get your ass in here.” She mouthed to him a very clear ‘no’. The ball came to her again, and Blonde Three swung with all her might. Tessa jumped, cleared her stick, and got the ball. She was bringing it down the field when she was hit in the back. The horn sounded, and Tessa turned, threw her stick on the ground, and went after
Blonde Three. She didn’t get far before she fell, letting out a pain- filled moan. Lucas’s arms were lifting her from the ground a moment later. “Put me down, Lucas, please,” Tessa whispered. “I want to walk off the field. “He set her gently down on the ground and helped her to the bench. Coach V yelled at her. “Ross, next time I tell you to come off the field, you better damn well listen to me.” “Yes, sir,” she said. “But check out the score; we kicked their butts.” She flashed him a big grin. “Yeah, we did,” he laughed as he lifted her leg on the bench. “That has got to hurt.” He grabbed some ice and set it on her leg. “Let me see that back.” Lucas did not like him touching her, and his eyes gave it away. Tessa looked at him and laughed. “Seriously?” He looked away and pouted “Ouch, Ouch, Ouch,” she said when the coach touched her back. “Are you fucking kidding me!” Lucas yelled when he saw the bruise. “Those bitches.” “Lucas, you mind your mouth, got it?” Coach V yelled at him. “You sure know how to pick them,” Tessa said to him. “Ex- girlfriends, Mr. Links?” Coach asked him. “Sort of,” he said, looking away. “Any others we need to know about for the rest of the season?” Coach asked. “Several. I’ve met four of them, and they’ve all touched me in some way,” she said laughing and touched her heart. “Links, are they all field hockey players?” Coach asked. “I don’t think so. They were mostly cheerleaders,” Lucas said. “They’re still not hockey players,” Tessa said smugly. “Alright, Tessa,” Coach V said. “I am not going to kid you, this is going to hurt like crazy tomorrow. If it gets red and puffy, I want you to go to the emergency room. Links, can you see that Miss Ross gets to the bus without getting jumped by your fan club?” “I’ll drive her home,” Lucas said. “Not happening.” Coach V walked away. “Thank God. I’m really not fond of your driving,” Tessa laughed. “I am so sorry this happened to you, Tessa. I can’t believe…” Lucas’s eyes were angry and wild. “Lucas Links, you didn’t hurt me; they did.” She glanced over at the three girls still sitting on the bench getting their butts chewed by their coach. “I’m still pissed at you about the other day, but not about this.” She looked into his eyes. “So this will definitely not be for us, it’ll be for them. Kiss me, please.” Lucas stood up and took the ice off her ankle. He picked her up, cradled her in his arms, and kissed her. She grabbed his face and pulled it closer to hers and opened her mouth for him. He sat down on the bench and swung her around so that she was facing him. Lucas took her face in his hands and explored her hot mouth. She started pulling away, and he pushed her head back toward him. One hand on the back of her head and the other he started rubbing her back. She winced and he released her. “Baby, I’m sorry,” he whispered. She felt the pressure of him straining underneath her. “Wow,” she said. “That for them, too?” “Never again, Tessa. That’s all for you,” he said, smiling. “Can we go to the bus now please?” He looked down. “Can we wait a couple minutes? And maybe you should get off my lap. That may help the, uh, issue.” “Think of something disgusting. Maybe that will help?” Tessa offered. He laughed. “You, Tessa, amuse me.”
“Well, I hope that’s a good thing.” “Please don’t smile at me — that’s not helping either,” Lucas said, clearly uncomfortable. The three blondes started doing laps. “Hey Lucas,” Blonde One called out, “we’re just trying to toughen her up for you. We know you like it rough.” “Shut up, Madison,” he yelled at her. “So Blonde One is Madison. Good to know. How long did you date her?” Tessa asked. “We didn’t date. We just had sex.” “And you like it rough?” she asked inquisitively. “Tessa, you can’t say that right now,” he pleaded with her. “Oh, sorry.” She tried to not smile. The girls were coming around again and Blonde Two yelled, “Hey Linksy, you hungry?” she asked, slyly lifting her skirt up to mid-thigh, and laughed. “Grow up, Jenny,” he growled. “So two is Jenny. Hmm,” Tessa said. “And you like to — “ “No,” he said in a monotone voice. “Hey, Lucas,” she Blonde Three started. “Go fuck yourself, Carly,” he said through clenched teeth. “Oh, I know how that turns you on. Same cell number?” she asked “Maybe I could send you a video?” “Number three is Carly, and you and she…” Tessa said out loud. “I’m ready now, Tessa,” he said with a pained look on his face. She rode to the bus on his back, kissing his neck as they passed his fan club. He laughed and so did she. “Links, come say hi before you leave,” came a voice from a crowd of guys standing near their bus. “Lucas, she’ll be riding home with me.” Tessa turned and saw her mother. “Shit,” Tessa whispered in his ear, “it’s my mom.” “Of course, Mrs. Ross,” he said. He sat Tessa down and kissed her gently on the lips. “Sorry about this.” Maggie bent down and looked at her leg, “We are going to the ER,” she said. “Mom it’s fine, just take me home,” Tessa said. “Do you think it’s bad?” Lucas asked nervously. “I don’t know. I just want to be sure,” she said to him. “Lucas, why did they go after her like this?” “Mom, could we leave please?” “I’m sorry, Mrs. Ross,” He looked at Tessa. “I am Tessa, very sorry.” Her mom got in the car and Lucas walked over to the crowd. He shook hands with several of them. “That your new piece of ass, Links?” one of the guys asked. “Tessa is my girlfriend,” Lucas snapped. “How long have you been tapping that ass?” another asked. “It’s not like that, man,” Lucas said. “You got a virgin,” he asked, “What the hell are you waiting for? Want me to break her in for you? She looks like she could be a lot of fun, and she has definitely has stamina.” “Do not fucking talk about her like that,” Lucas said, grabbing him by the shirt and pushing him against the bus. He put his hands up in the air. “Okay, man, okay…” Tommy grabbed Lucas’s shirt and they walked away. Jenny smacked his butt as he walked by, then smirked at Tessa. Lucas kept walking. “Call me, Linksy,” she said. He didn’t look back. “Is that what you want, Tessa?” her mother asked disgusted. “Did you hear a word he said Mom? He’s exactly what I want.”
CHAPTER NINE They pulled into the Medical Center, where her Mom worked. Maggie parked and helped Tessa hobble through the door. She went up to the nurse’s station and talked to a friend of hers. Maggie came back and took Tessa through the double doors. She did her vitals and charting, then led her back to a room. Maggie left and went behind the counter and worked at the computer. She brought Tessa a yellow bracelet in and put it on her wrist. Tessa’s mother worked here, and had for three years. She was good at her job and Tessa loved that when there was a problem they got to go right in and she took care of them, no waiting. The x- ray tech wheeled her back to the room and took some shots of her ankle. “How are you doing today Tessa?” he asked, “What happened to you?” “Field hockey game,” Tessa smiled. “What position did you play, the ball?” he asked sarcastically. “No,” she laughed. “Forward, we won.” “How did you do?” he asked as he helped her onto the table. “I had some good shots, I played the whole game and walked off the field after the clock ran out,” Tessa said smiling. “That’s impressive,” he said smiling as he snapped the shots he needed. A phlebotomist came in and told her they would be doing some lab work, “For an ankle injury?” she asked. The tech smiled and took five tubes. At least her mother wasn’t in the room; she was giving her some privacy. The doctor came in and told her she had a tiny fracture in her ankle, nothing they would have caught normally; many people have these and don’t even know it. The pain is from the bruising which is pretty severe but will heal quickly as long as she takes it easy. He put some sort of salve on it and wrapped it tightly. Her back was fine. He looked down at her chart, “It says here that you would like to start birth control pills. We are going to need to do a vaginal exam and make sure everything is alright before I give you the prescription. The pill needs to be taken at the same time each day.” “You’re doing a vaginal exam?” Tessa burst out. “No Tessa I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. A nurse practitioner will do that and then we’ll talk after,” he said. She now knew why he looked so familiar. Even with the white coat and stethoscope, she remembered his face, sitting across from her mother at the restaurant on the lake. “Is my Mom on the pill?” Tessa asked. “Tessa that’s nothing you and I will be discussing.” “Tessa,” her Mom said as she burst through the door. “That’s enough!” “What are you doing Mom? Because I have a boyfriend you’re putting me on the pill? What if it’s too late, what if he and I have been screwing for weeks now, shit you may be a grandma soon, hey doc what’s it going to be like banging a grandma?” Tessa looked at him, her eyes full of rage. “Maggie — things will be better if you stay outside, I can handle this,” he said to her holding the door opened as she walked out. “She’s trying to help you Tessa, most Moms wouldn’t think to do this and many times it’s too late.” “Well,” Tessa said loudly, “I’m sure I’m not pregnant because I swallow it,” Holy shit Tessa what are you saying, what are you doing she thought. “No need for condoms he won’t wear one and he has been around,” she said laughing.
“Your lab results show that there is no pregnancy,” he started. Of course not idiot! I haven’t had sex yet. “And you’re STD free. The nurse practitioner will be in momentarily,” he said and left the room. *** The NP came in and asked Tessa to take off her panties and sit on the table. Tessa did as she asked, but she was scared and angry. The nurse pulled out what looked like legs and Tessa gasped. What the hell was this thing, it looks like a damn robot, the Vagatron 5000? She told her to lay back and put her feet in the stirrups, and Tessa reluctantly did. She watched as she uncovered the tray on the wheeled cart next to her, her eyes widened when she saw the metal clamp looking thing, she told her to relax her knees and she put some cold slimy stuff between her legs. Tessa held her breath and the nurse put her fingers inside her. Tessa gasped and began to close her knees and the nurse asked her to relax again and poked around between her legs, she told her she was going to feel a slight pressure on her rectum and before Tessa knew it she had shoved her finger in her ass. She jolted up and looked terrified. “Tessa we are almost done,” she said. “Lie back please.” Tessa laid back and tears flooded her eyes. She saw the nurse grab the clamp thing and she put a headlight on her head, holy fuck what was she going to do now she thought, she grabbed the side of the bed and dug her nails into the hard plastic and she began to cry. The nurse slowly put the cold object in her and Tessa heard a click sound and a very painful pressure and pinch. She took what looked like a large Q- tip and rubbed it around inside her. She placed it in a petri dish. Tessa could not imagine what was next. She didn’t want to know. She closed her eyes as the tears continued flowing down her cheeks. Tessa heard a click and the pressure was gone, and the clamp was removed. The nurse saw her tears, “You can sit up now Tessa.” She handed her a tissue and sat in her stool and put away the Vagatron's cold metal legs. “Everything looks good Tessa, the only issue is your uterus is slightly tipped but that isn’t a big deal, okay?” she asked. “Do you have any questions?” Tessa took a few deep breaths and wiped her tears. “Am I still a virgin?” she said and began to cry again. She stood up and hugged her. “Of course you are, there is a thin layer of skin further up in the vagina, still intact and will be until you have sex or there is heavy manual stimulation,” she sat back down. “Tessa I can sense that you and your mother are having issues. I want you to take my number and call me if you ever need anything, okay? Maggie is a good woman, I have known her for years, she’s a good friend of mine and she loves you. “ “If she loved me she wouldn’t have done this to me,” Tessa cried, “I don’t want him back in here, can’t you just finish this up I want to go home. I don’t want her back in here either; she can go get the car… can you tell her that please.” “Sure Tessa, I’m going to leave and I will be back with paperwork for you, your mom will have her own okay, there’s a box of tissues for you to clean up with right there. You may have some bleeding so there’s a pad if you want to use one.” She left the room. Tessa got dressed and sat and waited for the nurse practitioner to return. She gave Tessa information on STD’s, lots of information. She handed her three packs of birth control pills and a bunch of condoms and explained how to use them. She handed her a card with her office information on the front and she wrote her cell number on the back. She gave her crutches to use for two weeks, which she explained would help her heal better — the less she put weight on it which met no running or practice until she was seen again in two weeks. *** She used the crutches as she walked out of the ER. Her mom got out and opened the door for her. She
glared at her and opened the back door and got in. Her book bag was still on the bus, “Damn it,” she said. “Tessa, your mouth,” Maggie snapped. “My mouth Mom, what about my vagina? How does it feel to sit outside a room knowing someone is in there fucking raping me on a hospital bed?” Tessa yelled at her. “It was time for you to have an exam Tessa, it’s a routine exam that all women have once a year once there sexually active and you better not speak like that again,” Maggie said trying to stop her voice from quivering. “Your boyfriend Dr. Feel Good and you make that decision together Mom? Did you two have a lengthy conversation about my vagina?” Tessa asked rudely. “Tessa that’s enough,” Maggie said softly. “No it’s not! What the hell makes you think that any part of that was okay?” Tessa screamed. “Your actions Tessa, you’re kissing that boy at the end of every game, and the way you sat on his lap, and he was holding you today Tessa, that’s what made it necessary,” Maggie yelled back at her. “So you get to decide who penetrates me first?” Tessa screamed and tears started flooding down her face. “I hate you Mom and want you to know you literally opened that box, so now its game on!” Tessa’s mom started toward her house, “Not a chance, I want to go home,” Tessa insisted and her mom took her home. *** They pulled in and she saw Jade was there. Thank God she thought. She got out of the car “Oh no Tessa are you okay?” Jade asked. “I am fine, but want to tell the story only once so can we go inside please?” Tessa asked drying her face. Her mom followed them in the house and opened the cupboard and grabbed a glass of water and handed Tessa a pain pill, “Take this, it’ll help with the pain,” she said. Tessa swallowed the pill and sat at the table, her dad warmed up dinner and she sat pushing it around her plate. “Tessa has a small hairline fracture on her ankle bone. She will have to be seen in two weeks to be released for PE and Hockey then. Her bruises are pretty severe and she’s going to hurt a lot more in the morning. She can have a pain pill every 6 hours but it will make her drowsy and loopy so she should stay home from school tomorrow,” Maggie said as if giving a report at work. “I’ll stay with her for a few hours,” Jade offered. “Jade honey you need to go to school. John what is your schedule tomorrow? I have to work until three.” She said. “I have a delivery in the morning, I’ll be home by noon,” John answered. “So Jade it is,” Tessa smiled. “That’s up to her father, Tessa,” John said. “Is that all Maggie?” Maggie answered, “Yes” and she kissed Alex and Tessa on the head, she walked upstairs and kissed the little ones and left. She walked to the car, pulled out the driveway, and began to sob. Tessa started laughing, “What’s wrong Tessa?” John asked. “Everything and nothing, I am feeling loopy,” Tessa said, “And I am one dirty girl.” Jade drew a bath for her and Tessa got in. She washed her hair and sat until the water was cooling and she got out. Jade had left to get an overnight bag and things for school. She returned and sat on the couch with Tessa, who was high as a kite. “Lucas hasn’t called has he?” She tried to sit up but couldn’t she started to laugh. Jade got up and grabbed her bag. There were seven missed calls and ten text messages. Tessa was staring at the phone when it rang. His picture popped up. “There he is,” she said.
Jade took the phone and pushed the button to answer his call. “Hey Lucas, it’s Jade,” she said. “Tessa left her bag on the bus, so I brought it to the house. She just got out of the bath and is stoned out of her mind on pain pills,” she laughed. “I guess you could try?” She handed the phone to Tessa. “Hello,” she said slowly. “I’m alright,” she answered. “I would love that Lucas,” she laughed. “Can Jade tell you because I’m falling…” Tessa dropped the phone. “Hey Lucas,” Jade said after picking up the phone. “No I’m staying with her tonight and hanging out here in the morning. Her Dad has a delivery he’s leaving at six in the morning. Well her ankle is fractured and she’s badly bruised, and as you already know she’s on some pain pills for the next few days. Okay, see you then. I’ll tell her. Talk to you soon,” she said and hung up. She looked over and Tessa was fast asleep. She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Tommy - Hey hot stuff, I’m going to stay with Tessa tonight, she has a fractured ankle and I’ll be late for school tomorrow, I am going to miss you…J - Hey pretty girl, oh no on both issues, I’m going to miss you…T - Lucas is coming here in the morning if you ride with him we could hang out UNSUPERVISED for a little bit :)…J - Sounds like a plan…a really good plan…T - Sweet dreams hot stuff…J - As long as you’re in them…T - I better be…by the way your ex was a bitch today…J - Really?? That’s unusual, do you think it was a competitive thing?...T - No I think it was a Tommy thing, and you better not cave , man…get it cave man…oh the thought of you dragging me into a cave by hair…weird but I think I might like it…J - Listen naughty girl we have discussed this…revisit in six months right, oh and don’t talk that way or I will bring my club in the morning ….T - Threat or promise?!?!?!?... J - Okay revisit in 3 months, your killing me Jade…T - Goodnight future lover…J - Your bad…T - I want to be…J - Done Pretty girl goodnight…T - Makes me sad…J - Two months final answer….T - If I keep pushing will it go down again?...J
- Nothing about this conversation is making anything go down Jade, goodnight!...T Jade was smiling ear to ear as she ran upstairs and grabbed blankets and pillows. She laid Tessa down on the overstuffed couch and covered her up. Tessa said Lucas’s name in her sleep and she laughed. She took the loveseat and fell asleep dreaming of November. Jade woke up to Tessa trying to stand up, she helped her in the bathroom and she was bleeding. “Tessa it’s not your week,” she said. Tessa started crying and told her the whole story, about Dr. Feel Good, about her fight with her mom, about the Vagatron; she cried and told her about every painful moment. How she felt like she had been raped and how she hated her mom. Jade began to cry with her, “I’m so sorry Tessa,” she said. She ran the bath and helped Tessa in. She grabbed her pain pills off of the counter and gave her one and a cup of water. The bathroom door was opened as she left to get Tessa’s clothes “Jade please grab me Lucas’s sweatshirt off of my bed and some grandma panties?” “Of course Tessa” she said wiping her eyes and closing the door behind her. She turned and saw Tommy and Lucas standing with a brown bag in the living room looking horrified. *** Tommy smiled weakly. “We brought breakfast,” he said, holding up a paper bag. “Shhhh!” Jade said to them. “She’s going to die when she founds out you were here.” “Not before my mother does.” Alex’s voice sounded behind Jade. Jade looked down at her underwear and tank top. She felt her face heat up and she ran up the stairs. She came down holding Tessa’s clothes. She kissed Tommy. “Hey pretty girl, I’m moving that back to a six month revisit,” Tommy said looking terrified. “I agree,” she said, walking into the bathroom. “I feel better,” Tessa laughed. “The pills kicked in, huh?” “Yep, I think I could go for a run on these babies,” Tessa said. “Awe Jade, you got my sweatshirt. Help me put it on,” she said. “No, not the bra. I want my boobies touching his shirt.” “Tessa, the boys are out there so try to be quiet,” Jade whispered. “What?” Tessa yelled. Breakfast was on the coffee table when they walked out a few minutes later. Tessa hobbled out on her crutches. Alex looked at her. “What did Mom do to you, Tessa?” “Alex,” Tessa said and tears formed in her eyes. “Not now.” Alex looked away as his hands fisted at his side. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” she said, sitting down. “Most people don’t even know they have a fracture when it’s this small, but the bruising hurts, and I have really good pain meds.” It was still quiet. “So breakfast looks wonderful. How about we eat?” Jade grabbed plates and napkins. “It is too quiet.” Her head started to wobble. “You guys should try one of those pills. They make you feel funky.” She ate half of the bagel and drank the juice. Tessa started to lie down on the couch and Lucas grabbed her pillow and put it behind her. He sat on the couch, lifted her legs, and sat them on his lap. He cringed when he saw the purple and yellow bruise that went from the top of her foot up to almost her knee. “I am so sorry, baby.” He kissed her leg from toe to knee.
“Lucas you didn’t beat me with a hockey stick, and there are other places that,” she started. “Tessa, go to sleep.” He threw a blanket over her face and she closed her eyes and fell asleep. “Alex, don’t you dare talk to your mom about what you heard until you’ve talked to Tessa. She didn’t think you guys were out here. God willing, she won’t remember,” Jade said. She looked at Tommy and Lucas. “And that goes for you, too. She was sharing that with me in confidence. Got it!” “Yes, dear.” Tommy nodded. “So would you like to know about your wonderful Kate yesterday?” Jade asked. “I never said she was wonderful. I did break up with her, you know. She wasn’t perfect like you, pretty girl.” “Well, she was downright rude,’” Jade said, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry.” Tommy took her hand. “At least she didn’t beat you with sticks,” Lucas said quietly as he stared at Tessa. “So what happened?” Alex asked. Jade gave the play by play. “Who the hell were these girls, Lucas? Ex- girlfriends?” Alex asked. “Not girlfriends, per say, just girls I use to... well you know,” he said. “So four girls have gone after my sister because of you?” “I think it is because they’re freaken crazy. It’s not Lucas’s fault,” Jade snapped at Alex. Alex sat quietly for a few moments before he asked, “Phoebe went after one of them?” “Yep, she got red carded,” Jade said. “Nice. I like Phoebe,” Alex smiled. “When did hockey become more dangerous than football?” *** Alex and Tommy went to school, but Lucas refused to leave. Jade was staying for a couple more hours. After an hour, Tessa woke up, stood and whimpered, she hunched over grabbing her belly. Jade was in the bathroom getting ready for school, Lucas grabbed her waist and steadied her. “Good morning, sleepy head,” he whispered in her ear. At first she was confused, but then she remembered what happened. “Hi Lucas.” He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “You okay, Tessa?” “I’m fine, thank you. I do, however, need to go the bathroom.” He let her lean on him while he walked her to the door. She knocked and Jade opened it. “Tessa you look, um, better.” Jade smiled as Tessa came in. Jade shut the door and Tessa went to the bathroom. She was still bleeding but not as bad. She took care of her mess and washed her hands. She brushed her teeth as Jade did her hair. Tessa threw her wet hair up in a messy bun on top of her head. “You guys should go to school. I’m fine, and I don’t plan on taking any of those pills again,” Tessa said. Jade turned and hugged her. “It’s okay. The mom- ster told me that it’s something women have to do once a year when they’re sexually active.” “Then I am never having sex,” Jade said. “If it was as horrible as that then we probably would never have been born, Jade,” she said. Lucas had cleaned up the mess on the coffee table, and Tessa sat on the couch and put her leg up. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. “You guys go to school. My Dad will be here in a couple of hours, and I’m going to sit here and veg. I’ll be fine.” “Alright, I’ll get your schoolwork and bring it to you after school,” Jade said. “Do you need anything else?” “Just one thing; find out when we play them again,” Tessa said through her teeth. Lucas sat next to Tessa and pulled her gently into him. They sat quietly for a few minutes, “You can go
now Lucas, I’ll be fine,” she said rubbing his leg. “I’m not leaving. As many times as you tell me it’s not my fault, I know it is. I’m staying here.” “Okay, again, it’s not.” “Tessa, there is a lot you don’t know, and I want you to, I want you to know everything,” he looked away. She grabbed his face. “Tell me then, and look at me when you do.” “I’ve known the girls from yesterday for a long time. I have slept with them on and off for two years. They knew about each other, and even though they’d get jealous, they kept coming back — until about six months ago.” “Why would you do that to them?” “I’d get drunk and one of the three was always around. When we had sex, it wasn’t nice sex; it was rough, kinky, nasty, and with toys. We fucked Tessa. We never made love. At one point they decided that we should all sleep together. I thought it would be cool.” She gasped. “My mom was away one night, and they all came over with a bong, and well, it was every man’s fantasy.” “How often did this happen?” she asked. “From the fall of sophomore year, I think. Yeah, Mom takes a break and goes to dry up before Christmas, most of the time it’s in the fall.” “Who do you stay with?” she interrupted. “I stay by myself, I can handle it.” “Apparently not,” she laughed. “Tessa, I just told you that I had sex with the three girls who beat you black and blue with a hockey stick yesterday, and you’re laughing. You’re not like anyone else I have ever been with. You are amazing. I enjoy spending time with you, and I feel like for the first time I can be honest with someone, not just can be but want to be. I swear that’s why I fell in love with you.” He closed his eyes and held his breath. “Why Lucas Links, I think you should look at me when you’re talking to me.” She grabbed his face and turned it to hers. “If you want to take it back, you can. Maybe you love me like a sister or a friend. It’s okay.” “I wish I could,” he said. “But I can’t, Tessa. I don’t think I will ever be able to. You are so different than most girls I’ve met. You’re special, you’re perfect, and I love you, Tessa Ross,” he said looking into her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips, then rested her forehead against his. “Lucas Links, as much as I’m scared out of my mind, I think I’m in love with you, too. Now because I want some lip action.” They kissed deeply yet softly. His tongue pushed into her mouth and she accepted it. She pulled away and gently kissed his face, then moved back to his lips. He opened his mouth and her tongue entered it. She kissed his cheek, then his ear, then gently came back to his lips. “Thank you, Tessa,” he whispered in her ear. “For what?” “For loving me anyways.”
CHAPTER TEN The next two weeks were perfect. Every morning Lucas met Tessa at her locker and walked her to first period class. They ate lunch together, and when he was at practice she sat on the bench, watching her field hockey team become stronger. One Saturday they took the kids to the zoo and out to lunch, then they had dinner at his house. His mother seemed to be doing well; he said he hadn’t seen her drink in almost a month. She even attended football games and sat with Tessa. They watched him and cheered him on together. On Sundays, she went back to church and the four girls started a junior’s choir. Kendall loved the stage and Jake was getting used to the idea of it. After church Lucas would join them for dinner. He always helped her clean up, and it normally ended in a water fight. After dinner, her dad and Alex were teaching him to shoot. He was an awesome shot, and he would more than likely be hunting with them in November. They would occasionally go out to dinner with Jade and Tommy. They laughed all the time and kissed often. - Hey baby, homecoming is Saturday and I don’t have a date, been so busy forgot to ask anyone, you free? LYA...Lucas. - I don’t know so many suitors let me see what I can do…hmmm, OF COURSE… LYA Tessa. - Thank God because I left a present in your closet, hope you like it…LYA Lucas She ran upstairs and opened her closet, where a beautiful floor length light blue gown hung from the door. Kendall was asleep in bed, so Tessa had a silent happy dance party. - I have fallen in love with this beautiful gift…Thank you! I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS…Tessa - Thank you Tessa for making me happy, my life has been perfect since you have been in it…LYA Lucas *** Tessa had butterflies in her belly on Tuesday. Her game was home and it was against the three B’s. She knew she was ready. He walked her to class in the morning. “You nervous, Tessa?” he asked. “I am,” she admitted. “Then don’t play,” he said, completely serious. “What’s the worst that can happen?” she asked, smiling. “Tessa,” he said holding her face in his hand, “I can’t see them hurt you again and know that it has something to do with shit in my past.” “You better be there to support me Lucas, I’m not afraid of them. I’m only afraid of you not being there,” Tessa said. “See you at lunch.” He kissed her deeply and groaned. “I love you, Tessa.” Later, she was pushing her food around her lunch plate when he sat down next to her. He took her fork and loaded it with as much pasta as he could. “Open,” she did, laughing as he loaded her mouth with food. “Now bite it.” Her eyes got wide and he laughed. She chewed and swallowed; he loaded the fork again and put it in her mouth.
Sadi walked by. “Good God, what now? Are her hands broken, too?” Tessa stood up, and pushed her chair backwards. “Walk with me, Sadi. If you don’t I’ll drag you ass out of here.” “Tessa, let it go,” Lucas said. “I’m not afraid of you, bitch. Let’s walk.” Sadi stormed out of the cafeteria. They headed for the locker room. “What the fuck is your problem with me?” Tessa yelled. “Isn’t it obvious, you whore?” Sadi yelled back. Tessa sat on the bench. “I guess it is, but tell me something; is this making it any better for you? Does this help you get through your day?” “Don’t try to shrink me, Tessa. The minute you stop fucking him, he’ll be crawling back to me. He always does!” she yelled. “Sadi, I haven’t slept with him.” “Whatever. Now you’re a lying whore,” she said, this time in a calmer voice. Tessa sat and looked at her. “No Sadi, I’m not.” “So is that your game; you’re stringing him along so he pants after you like a little puppy?” “I love him and he loves me. It’s not like that,” Tessa said. “He loves you? What makes you think that, you delusional bitch?” Sadi asked. “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” “Among others,” she said. “Then ask away.” “Why do you think he loves you?” she yelled. “Because he tells me he does.” “Have you met his mother?” she asked. “You’ve seen me at games with her, Sadi,” Tessa answered softly. “Has he told you about us?” “That’s not my business.” Sadi sat on the bench facing her. “Do you know about the girls who beat your ass at the hockey game?” “I do,” she said. “Did he tell you he told me he loved me?” Sadi asked. “Yes.” “Does he still?” she said, tearing up. “I know he cared after you jumped me in the parking lot, or he wouldn’t have gotten you out of there,” Tessa said softly. “Does that bother you?” “No. You share a past,” she said softly. “We do,” she said. “I was pregnant. I had an abortion, I aborted our baby.” She started crying. Tessa put her arm around Sadi and pulled her into her shoulder. “Don’t you want to know why?” Sadi cried. “It’s not any of my business. That’s between the two of you and God.” “He slept with the girls who attacked you, and I wanted his game to be over. I couldn’t handle it. I was scared, and I didn’t want to have his baby and be connected to him forever. He hates me because of it, and I hate me, too,” she said sobbing. “I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have to make that decision. I’m so sorry.” “I hate you,” she said, “and I don’t know why.” “I understand and I don’t know how,” Tessa said. “But I do know that it’s hurting you to be so angry.
You’re stunning and young, and although I have yet to see it, I bet you’re lovable.” Sadi laughed and sat up. “How do you do it? How do you not give in to him?” Tessa shook her head. “He told me he loves me and I love him. I want it to be right and have no regrets if it ends.” “Can I still hate you?” “If you need to I guess, but could you please stop trying to beat me up? That’s getting annoying!” Tessa smiled. The bell rang, and Tessa stood. “Got to get to class.” “Good luck tonight,” Sadi yelled to her as she walked out the door. They walked into the hall and smiled at each other. Jade, Becca, Phoebe, Tommy, and Lucas stood there waiting. Sadi looked at Lucas. “I forgive you,” she said and walked away. Tessa turned away. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. “Are you ok?” “Yes,” Tessa replied. “Are you pissed at me?” he asked. “A little. You left out the part about fucking the three blondes before she aborted the baby?” Tessa whispered. “You told her you knew?” Lucas asked. “No, she asked me if you told me what happened with the two of you. I told her it was none of my business and she cried and told me what she’d done. Then she told me why.” “You hate me now?” he asked. “I told you and now her that I was not involved with you then. That was your past. As long as it stays there, we’re fine. I’ll let it go,” she said. “But Lucas, you have to tell her you forgive her and make yourself forgive her. She made a horrible decision on her own that was brought on by the pain you caused her. No, it wasn’t right, but who are you to judge her?” “So I’m a piece of shit because of what she did?” he asked. “No Lucas, but you hurt her. Regardless of what she did, you need to take some ownership and forgive her — starting with saying you’re sorry that your head was wherever the dark place it went to when this all went down,” Tessa said. “Why do you think you get to tell me what to do?” His face tightened. She looked at him confused. “Who do you think are you?” Tessa looked at him and shook her head. “The person who loves you anyways.” She went to the bathroom and threw up. “You okay, Tessa?” Jade asked as she pulled her hair back. “No, Jade, I’m not,” she said and threw up again. - Tessa just went in the bathroom and threw up after fighting with your asshole friend…J - By asshole friend can I safely assume you’re talking about Lucas?...T - let him know he sucks and if anything happens because her head is up her ass at the game I am going to beat him with a hockey stick…J - anything for you pretty girl…T *** The bell rang and Tessa walked to the locker room to get changed. Phoebe, Becca, and Jade were in there waiting. They made her eat some crackers and drink some juice.
“Head in the Game, Ross,” Becca said. “Attention ladies, this is your captain, Phoebe, speaking; it is going to be a rough flight but we are in for a smooth landing. The penalty box is to your right,” she pointed like an airline attendant would, “and to your left,” She pointed again. “In case of emergency, please feel free to utilize them both, but make it count.” Everyone laughed. They passed the boys on the way to their field. Lucas didn’t even turn around. “Go get them, Tessa!” Alex yelled. Tessa sat on the bench and coach V wrapped her ankle. She slid on her new shin guards, laced up her cleats, and watched as the three B’s walked toward the field. “Tessa, you’re going to defend today,” Coach V said. “Not a chance.” Tessa focused on her opponents. “I am the coach, Ross. You just got back, and you need to listen,” he lectured her. “You’re also human and competitive. Would you want to be sitting in the back against a bunch of bitches that messed you up?” He shook his head. “Fine, but the minute they start messing with you, you’re going back, got it?” “I prefer to sit in the box over the bench. I’ll be fine.” He put her in the front line against B1. “Back so soon? Guess we didn’t do that great of a job then huh?” “I’m not into the three on one thing, actually never been asked, guess I’m good enough all by myself, so right now it’s me and you so give me all you got girl.” Tessa smirked. “You little bitch,” B1 snapped. “You want to start name calling, I can think of a few for you, too,” Tessa laughed. The ball was passed to Tessa, she grabbed it and in the blink of an eye, she had made a goal, B1 didn’t even know it was coming. Tessa walked over and smiled at her opponent. She heard a voice from the stands. “Great shot Tessa,” she glanced and saw Lucas’s Mom in the bleachers. “So you ready to play yet?” Tessa asked. “I came ready,” she stewed. “Hey you ever met Lucas’s Mom?” she asked, “I mean, been to the house when she was there?” “Of course I’ve been there when she was home!” she snapped. “Oh… so I wonder which one of us she’s here to see?” Tessa asked and B1 looked into the bleachers. She ran for the ball and past B1 before she even noticed she was gone. “You falling asleep on me B1?” she asked and Madison dropped her stick and lunged at her. She was on top and that quickly changed. Tessa was laughing when she hopped up, “Is that all you’ve got?” the umpire red carded her immediately. Phoebe looked at her, “Don’t you go stealing all the fun, I want to play too,” Tessa laughed and B2 stood in front of her, which made her laugh even harder, pissing B2 off. “Hey nice seeing you again,” Tessa said doing a few jumps and twirled around. “All better, thanks for asking.” B2 said nothing, oh boy Tessa thought. “Are you going to play nice today?” B2 smiled, “Not on your life.” “That’s what I thought and that’s why the cops came today,” Tessa said nodding to the bleachers; the whistle blew as B2 turned away and she darted out and grabbed the ball and headed toward the goal. She passed to Becca. She went back to face B2. “Nice try Ross, no cops!”
“Not yet, try me,” Tessa hissed, “Did you see Lucas’s mom?” “What’s she doing here?” she asked. “She’s here to watch me play, because her son loves me.” She wondered if he still felt that way. “He told you that?” she asked shocked. “Every day.” B2 swung the stick and Tessa ducked, she was Red carded as well. Tessa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Two down, one to go she thought. She looked over and the football practice had ended. A group of them were walking over, she saw her brother and Tommy, but not Lucas. She looked past them and saw Lucas and Sadi talking, his head hung low. “And you thought you could change him?” she looked and it was B3. “That girl has been the only one he has turned me down for and look, things have not changed,” she said without an ounce of nasty in her voice. “So are you here to play or are you going to try to kick my ass again too?” Tessa asked with a defeated tone to her voice. “Looks like your ass just got kicked, let’s play.” The whistle blew and they both went for the ball, Carly got it first. Tessa snagged it back and headed down the field, and Carly got it back and passed it down the field, Phoebe stopped it and passed to Becca and Carly grabbed it again back. Tessa ran back toward them and couldn’t get it back. Carly shot at the goal and Jade caught it. Jade hit it out and Carly took it back and made a goal. Back at the line Tessa smiled, “Good shot,” and she glanced over toward Lucas, Sadi was hugging him and he stood arms to his side. Carly looked and saw too, “You going to let it happen again?” she asked and raised her eyebrow and smiled. “Not a chance,” she said as the whistle blew. She took the ball and ran down for a goal. She hi fived her team mates and went back. “Good shot Tessa Ross.” The whistle blew. It was half time. “Hey you going to be okay?” “Yeah, I will be, and how about you?” Tessa asked. “As long as I stay sober there is nothing there, just got caught up in a dirty game that’s all,” she said smiling looking at the ground. “Did you know him when he was sober?” “A little, I’m sure he’s ok. We are all fucked up and have shitty family lives, you know the broken family kids that fall in the cracks, we are ‘emotionally disturbed’ as my shrink says,” Carly smiled. “My parents split a month ago, so I guess I’m emotionally disturbed now as well,” Tessa said and they both laughed. “Hey Tessa, Carly,” Lucas said from behind them. “Hi Lucas,” Carly said. “How are you?” “I’m well. Are you three still trying to kick my girlfriend’s ass?” “Well I’m good; the other two are red carded,” she said and laughed. “You okay, baby?” he asked Tessa and she looked away. “Oh you’re mad at me? You asked me to apologize to her and I did,” he said. “Holy shit,” Carly said laughing, “Lucas Links is in love.” Lucas laughed at her, and his face turned red, “I am,” he said and pulled Tessa into his arms. “Sobriety and Tessa have been good for me,” he laughed and kissed Tessa’s head. “Well Lucas I’m happy for you, truly I am,” Carly said, “It’s a work in progress but I’m getting there
too.” Tessa looked at her and smiled, “I think you’re my favorite so far,” they laughed. “See you in a few minutes Ross, so I can kick your ass up and down this field,” she said walking away. Tessa looked up at him, “You’re not mad at me?” Lucas laughed, “I didn’t say that,” and he kissed her. “Your Mom’s here,” she said beaming. “No shit Tessa, you are my little ray of sunshine,” they walked over and said hello to his mother. The game ended 3- 1, and they all walked back to the school. They met in the parking lot after showering and changing, and Tessa ran to Lucas and jumped into his arms. She kissed him wildly. “Slow down, crazy girl,” he laughed. “I love you, Lucas. I was so scared you were pissed at me,” she said, kissing him. “Let’s get something straight; I am pissed at you, or was, it hasn’t sunk in yet, but I love you anyways,” he winked and kissed her head. “So you threw up after our fight?” Her face turned red. “Wow Tessa, I have some effect on you don’t I?” “Yep and it STILL scares me.” He looked past her and stiffened. Tessa turned and looked, B1 and B2 were behind her. “So Lucas you love this girl, huh?” B1 asked. “Well hello, Madison and Jamie,” Lucas said. Tessa looked up at him. “It’s like the movie Scrooge. So we have four down and how many to go?” she asked, secretly hoping he would make things right with them too. He kissed her head and looked at the girls. “Are you two here to apologize?” he said directing his attention to the antagonists. . Alex walked up and Lucas nodded. “You want to take Tessa?” “Anywhere she wants to go.” Alex pulled Tessa off Lucas and carried her to the truck as she tried to wiggle free. “Oh, so that’s what you’re into now?” Jamie asked. “He’s hot. I’ll play with him too.” Both girls laughed as they checked out Alex. “Nice ass,” they called after him. Phoebe started off after them. Alex grabbed her around the waist and carried her with Tessa to the back of the truck. He plopped them on the tailgate. Phoebe blushed. “Wow, you are strong.” “And you’re feisty,” Alex said, smiling at her. She giggled and they stared at each other. Jade looked at Tommy and laughed. “Look at them; aren’t they cute?” Jade said. “You have a date to homecoming, Alex?” “Not yet,” he said, still looking at Phoebe. Jade smiled. “Ask her, then.” “Butt out, Jade.” Alex eyes never left Phoebe. She looked confused and then disappointed. Alex never looked away. Tessa could see something between them already. But her focus moved back to Lucas. Tessa watched carefully as the two B’s stood in front of Lucas, his hands deep in his pockets. “He’s her brother,” Lucas said. “It’s not like that.” “So what is it like?” Jamie said, laughing. “Yes, do tell,” Madison said. “I am sorry for whatever it was we were doing. It wasn’t right of me to treat you all like that,” Lucas said.
“Oh shit, Linksy, we’re big girls. We loved it. Carly may be out but, there are still two of us that want to play,” Jamie said, reaching for his waistband. He moved away. “Knock it off. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way. This is done. I have a girlfriend. I love her. And you two are to leave her alone.” “If we don’t, will you spank us?” Madison asked. “We are done here,” Lucas walked away. “See you soon,” Madison called after him. “Not a chance,” he yelled, staring at Tessa who was watching him. Lucas walked up to the truck and grabbed her. He pulled her behind him. He looked wildly into Tessa’s eyes and pushed his forehead into hers, breathing deeply. “I’m supposed to give Phoebe a ride home, Lucas,” “Alex I want to take Tessa home, could you give Phoebe a ride home?” Lucas asked. “I would love to,” Alex said smiling. Phoebe blushed and looked down. Lucas tossed his keys at Tessa, “You drive please to my house.” He was acting odd, she didn’t argue, she jumped in the driver’s side and adjusted the seat and mirrors. He leaned his seat all the way back. She backed up as Jamie and Madison watched. “He’s letting her drive,” Jamie said “Well that’s that,” Madison said sadly. *** Lucas watched Tessa as she drove. He grabbed her hand and held it to his chest; his heart was beating like crazy. He was trying to control his breathing. “Shit!” He sat up. “What was that?” “A deer,” she said quietly. “Lucas, are you mad at me?” “No, I’m just frustrated right now,” he said, letting out a deep breath. “Oh.” “Would you pull over up here? There’s a turn around.” She pulled over he turned off the car. “Baby, I need to tell you what is going on with me right now, and I need you to listen. Can you do that for me?” “Of course, I would do anything for you.” “Fuck Tessa, that’s not what I want to hear right now.”. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I don’t know what you want me to say.” “Tessa, you know how hard it is for an alcoholic or drug abuser to stop using?” he asked. “I’ve read about it,” she said softly. He laughed at how damn innocent she was, she looked confused. She even looked hot when she was clueless, he thought. “To clean up, addicts have to stay away from their drug of choice, right?” he said. She nodded. “Now imagine someone was trying to clean up in a bar or frat house, or I don’t know, anywhere that drug is available. Well, it would be impossible. Tessa, my drug of choice is sex. And I feel like a fucking crack head that has a pipe surgically implanted in his body.” “How is sex like a drug? I don’t get it.” “Fuck Tessa,” he grabbed her hand and placed it on his pants. “This is what I’m talking about.” Her jaw dropped and she quickly removed her hand. “You want them, Lucas?” “No Tessa, this didn’t happen there — it happened as soon as I touched your hand. You are killing me.” He punched the dash.
“Okay.” She placed her hand back on him, stroking him outside of his pants. Lucas groaned and pushed into her hand, then pushed her hand away. “No, as soon as that happens things will change. I love you, Tessa. I don’t want things to change. You make me want to be a better person, you make me want to love you in a way I never have loved, you have loved me better than anyone — not because you have to but because it’s who you are. I want to spend a very long time with you. I’m just scared that it’ll change. I’m not willing to change what we have, and it’s like going through withdrawal.” “So you’re never going to have sex with me?” she asked. He laughed out loud and she looked at him confused. “Lucas, now you need to listen; sometimes I feel like you’re just waiting for this to fail, and I will never feel what it’s like to have all of you.” He punched the dash again and jumped out. She followed him. “Is this a game to you? Do you like to play with my head and make me feel like I’m less desirable than any one of the dirty dozen, Lucas?” Tessa yelled. “What are you talking about, Tessa? I’m trying to be better for you. I’m not playing a game!” “Am I an experiment? A new toy? I don’t know, Lucas. I want you so badly, and you keep acting like you don’t want me. I’m confused. This is all new to me, and if it is going to work with us,” she said walking toward him, “it will work because of this.” She touched his heart, “The bonus will be here,” she said pointing towards his erection. “I know you know that, Tessa, and I wish that I had been brought up to feel that way. I want to change. I have looked four girls in the eyes today knowing they are as fucked up as I am and told them I was sorry because it’s the right thing to do, because in the short time I’ve known you, I have learned that.” “Okay.” “Okay what, Tessa?” “I don’t know,” she cried. “I don’t know how to make you feel better. If we have sex, it’ll get old for you. If we try to be friends, I think I’ll die without knowing you love me the way I love you, I don’t know what to say or do. All I know is right now, I feel helpless and stupid and my heart breaks for you.” He hugged her. “I would stay here forever with you if I knew that it would make you happy,” she whispered. Her tears had stopped. She had no more. She stepped away from him and looked up into his confused, sad eyes. “I know that I love you, and I’m happy and feel loved when I’m with you, but what just happened… crushes me. It hurts. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you happy, but it has to be forever, and I know right now you don’t feel like it can work, but if you just try hard maybe it can. I’m not going anywhere.” “I should get you home,” he whispered and opened the passenger door for her. They drove for a while in silence and finally she spoke. “You okay?” “I’m better as long as I have you.” “Remember at the game when I told you to think of something unpleasant when you feel like you’re going to explode? You should do that.” He laughed. “Okay I will.” “Got any ideas?” “None yet.” “We’ll work on that.” He walked her to the door of the farmhouse. He hugged her tight and kissed her head. “I love you, Tessa Ross.” “I love you. See you in the morning. Drive safely. Text me when you get home.” The kids were in bed, and Tessa’s dad was asleep on the couch. Tessa did the dishes in the sink and made lunches for school. She swept and mopped the floor, went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She switched laundry and got into bed.
Her phone chimed - I’m home safely; I love you more now than yesterday, thank you Tessa for being you…LYA Lucas - I feel blessed having you in my life Lucas Links, I thought of something….LYA Tessa - I thought of something too, losing you…LYA Lucas - That is so sweet all I could think of was dead puppies:) ….LYA Tessa - You make me laugh …LYA Lucas - I’m a very funny girl…LYA Tessa
CHAPTER ELEVEN On Friday he met her at her locker with a bouquet of yellow roses and white daisies. “Damn Tessa, they were supposed to make you be happy not sad.” “I am happy.” She hugged him. “It’s just that two days ago I was afraid I would lose you, and today you’re here with flowers. I love you. They’re beautiful.” She kissed him as if they were alone. He pulled away, put his forehead to hers, and whispered, “Dead Puppies,” over and over again. She laughed. “Did it work?” “It did — right up until I opened my eyes and saw you,” Lucas said in a whisper. He kissed her cheek. “Maybe I should blindfold you before we kiss,” she said. His nose flared and eyes closed. “Oh sorry, I wouldn’t have guessed. Dead Puppies?” “A whole room full of them,” he said. *** “So,” Becca said, “the big dance is tomorrow and we were thinking Mani- Pedi’s and a bit of waxing tonight, the four of us.” “Sounds great,” Tessa said. “After practice?” “What sounds great?” Lucas asked, as he sat next to Tessa. “The four of us going to get waxed,” Phoebe said, laughing. Tessa looked at Lucas. “You don’t mind do you?” He closed his eyes. “Dead puppies?” she asked. He laughed and shook his head. “Wax?” she asked. He shook his head yes. “We are going after practice to get Mani Pedy’s.” “Right after?” Lucas asked. “I think so. If we don’t, we won’t be home until midnight.” “Where are you going?” “Probably Ithaca.” “Can I drive you?” “I think I will ride with the girls. It would be silly for you to drive me.” “I want to,” he said. “Are you upset about this?” “No, it just means I won’t see you tonight.” “But I will have pretty feet and nails for the dance on Saturday.” “I like them the way they are,” he stuck out his lower lip purposely. “I want to be beautiful for you.” He scowled. “If it gets any better, then you better bring a basket of those puppies with you. Tessa smiled. “Why don’t you, Tommy and Alex go to dinner? I’ll text you where we are and when we should be done, and maybe we can hook up after we have pretty piggy’s.” “Or maybe I will go home and pout,” Lucas said. “If you do send me a picture. You’re hot when you pout.” She kissed his nose.
*** After school the girls piled in the car and drove to Ithaca, radio cranked and singing at the top of their lungs. They talked and laughed as they were pampered. Tessa chose French tips so it looked like she actually had nails. Jade went red, Phoebe hot pink, and Becca light pink. They got their eyebrows waxed, and Tessa took a chance on a bikini wax, something she regretted right away. - Hey baby what you are doing?...LYA.... Tessa. - Hanging at home…U2…Lucas - won’t see you for dinner then…LYA Tessa. - see you at school, have fun…Lucas “What the hell is his problem?” Tessa said out loud. “What’s going on?” Jade asked. Tessa read the messages. “What does LYA mean?” Jade asked. “Love you anyway,” Tessa said quietly. “Well, what’s that mean?” Phoebe asked. “For me, it’s about loving him even though he has a crazy past. His anyways is because I haven’t put out,” Tessa said laughing. “Well, let’s drive over and see what’s up,” Jade said. “Sounds like a plan,” Phoebe said. They went to drive- through and picked up food, they talked Tessa into a milk shake. The girls tried to cheer her up but she was distracted by thoughts of Lucas’s shift in mood. They pulled down his road. “His house is the colonial on the right about a mile up,” Tessa said. “What do you want me to do?” Becca asked. “Pull in the driveway. I’ll run in and be right back,” Tessa said. Becca pulled in and Tessa jumped out. She ran to the side and walked through the gate. He was in the hot tub. “Hey,” she said. “I missed you for dinner so I thought I would...” She froze. Lucas groaned, hissing through his teeth as he lifted his head. Sadi’s head came out of the water. She smiled at him. She tried to kiss him, but he pulled away and stood up, yanking his shorts up with him. “Damn it Sadi!” Move, just move, Tessa cried out in her head. But her body wouldn’t listen. His voice broke the deafening ring throughout her body. “Fuck, Tessa!” Lucas yelled. She turned and ran. “Bye, Tessa,” Sadi called after her. Lucas ran after her, grabbing her by the arm. Tessa smelled alcohol on his breath. “I didn’t fuck her, Tessa. Don’t be mad.” “I’m not mad, Lucas. I’m broken.” She tried to turn away, but he pulled her toward him and tried to hug her. “Get your hands off of me before I scream.” He shook his head no. Tears filled her eyes. “You are so much better than this. You need to let go of me now!” Jade saw her shaking and jumped out. “Tessa you okay?” Tessa held up a finger, asking her to give them a minute. “Now Lucas. Let go of me now.” A tear fell from her eye. He wiped it off her face. “Don’t. I’m not
one of those weak, needy, sick bitches that is going to chase you. This is over. Take your hands off of me — NOW.” “Tessa, I know you hate me right now, but I love you,” Lucas pleaded. “I don’t want that kind of love.” Her tears were in her throat. “I was devastated when I met you, and now I’m broken. If you ever thought you loved me, I’m begging you to leave me alone.” She turned and walked away. Sadi ran out and waved. Jade ran toward her. Tessa grabbed her arm. “Don’t. I need you now, and this is done.” They drove home in complete silence. They pulled into the driveway and Jade and Tessa jumped out. Alex was waiting; Phoebe had texted him. He grabbed her and hugged her. She cried and whispered, “I’m not going to fall apart.” “No, you aren’t,” Alex said. *** Tessa grabbed a garbage bag from the kitchen and took it upstairs, where she filled it with everything he had given her. She set it by the door, kissed Kendall, and lay down in her bed. Jade climbed in and hugged her. “You’re going to be fine,” Jade whispered. “I am, but what a waste of a bikini wax.” They laughed. “I have to sing the national anthem tomorrow at the game. Do you think they’d be pissed if I sang something like I hate everything about you?” “I think that’s a good plan.” Jade hugged her tightly.
CHAPTER TWELVE They walked onto the field just before the homecoming game started. “Thank god, you’re here, Tessa. You’re on in five minutes,” the announcer told her. He shuffled her off to the center of the field and did a mic check. A few seconds later, the music started. She looked up and smiled. She decided to look to the sky as she sang, and she breathed and sang perfectly, hitting every note. The crowd stood and clapped and cheered. “Thank you” Tessa said into the microphone. As she walked off, Toby Green, Homecoming King and star quarterback from two years ago touched her shoulder. “You have an amazing voice, Tessa Ross.” Toby used to help with the hay on the farm. “Wow,” he said, looking her up and down. “You are gorgeous”. “And you’re better looking than I remember,” Tessa said, flirting and totally out of character for her. “Do you have a date for tonight’s dance?” “Actually, I don’t. Why do you ask?” “That’s criminal,” Toby dropped to one knee and took her hand and kissed it. “Tessa Ross, can I escort you to the dance tonight?” “I think you’ll have to ask my brother. He’s over on the bench.” “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Jade came up beside her. “Toby Green, Tessa? He’s hot!” Tessa smirked. “And right now he’s asking Alex, who happens to be standing next to Lucas, if he can escort me to homecoming.” They watched as he ran across the field. He grabbed her, swung her around, and kissed her cheek. “He said I could take you as long as I was a gentleman.” Tessa smiled. “Great, we can meet here at eight.” “No, Miss Ross. I’ll pick you up at seven thirty.” Toby smiled at her. “I have to go announce homecoming court.” When Toby was announced he ran out on the field to a standing ovation. He announced the court. Tessa’s heart sank when Lucas was called and he stared at her as he headed onto the field. He mouthed I love you; she shook her head no. A moment later, Tessa’s name was called. She took a deep breath and walked onto the field. Lucas walked through the crowd in his uniform, helmet in hand and up to her. “Yes I do, Tessa. Don’t give up on me. I fucked up, but I love you.” “Good luck today, Lucas.” Tessa forced herself to smile at him. He stared intently into her eyes before walking away, shoulders slumped, head hung down low. “What was that, Tessa?” Jade asked. “I want him to be okay,” Tessa said. “Head in the game, you know.” The game started and Toby came to sit with her. He put his arm around her. “So that QB out there; was he your date?” She nodded. “Did he hurt you?” “First love thing, you know,” Tessa choked out. “Did he cheat?” Toby asked. She nodded again. “We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight to make him jealous, but for now I’m going to sit down there so we win our game. Then you’ll see I’m a way better catch — when you’re ready.” He winked at her. “By the way, what are you wearing?” She laughed. “I have no idea.”
The Saints won the game. Tessa walked out and hugged Alex. Lucas stood with his head down, peering out at her through his beautiful long eyelashes. “Could you come with me, please?” she asked him. He followed her to Jade’s car. She pulled the bag out from the back seat and handed it to him. Lucas stepped back, looking wounded. “Those were gifts, baby.” “I don’t want them.” Lucas grabbed her hands. “Tessa, what can I do to fix this?” “Can you turn back time?” He shook his head no. “Then nothing, Lucas.” “I won’t accept that.” “Then you never knew me. I’m not the do- over kind of girl. I’m not like them, Lucas,” Tessa said, trying not to cry. “I know that, Tessa. You told me I broke you, and I’ll do anything to put you back together. Fuck Tessa, I wish I was like you. You make me want to be better, and no one has ever made me feel that way. Please baby, just let me explain,” Lucas pleaded. “I went for a pedicure and came to see you because I knew by the texts that something was wrong. I walked into see a girl who attacked me, a girl who you had just apologized to and someone you profess to despise, with her mouth was full of you. I will never be that person for you. Even though it was only six weeks, I did love you, Lucas. I would have done anything for you. You thought so little of me that of all the people in the world, you chose to fuck her,” Tessa said, disgusted. “I did not fuck her, Tessa — .” he started. “Okay Lucas, you fucked her mouth, the same mouth that spewed disgusting comments about the person you profess to love. Do you know how wrong that is? Do you?” “I do.” He looked down and his eyes began to fill with tears. Tessa’s heart raced. She didn’t want to see him cry. “Don’t,” she said. “Please don’t.” “What can I do, Tessa? Just tell me what I can do.” Tears fell down his face. She wiped them away, leaving her hand on his perfect lips and rubbing them gently. He pulled her into him and hugged her. “I have never cried over a girl,” he whispered in her ear. “I have never loved another, not truly loved them. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you, Tessa, and I didn’t take you even when you offered yourself to me on a silver platter. You deserve a better me, and I’ll prove that I can be that person for you, even if it takes me forever. And I won’t fail once I have won you back. I love you.” She wanted to believe him, to kiss him; she wanted him in every way — but they were just words. He pulled her away and gently kissed her forehead. She looked at him. “Do it for you Lucas, not for me.” “I will, and then it’s you and me forever,” he said. “See you tonight.” “Lucas, I’m going with someone.” “I know, but I also know you’ll be okay. You’re not like me.” *** Jade brought down a dark brown halter dress that was open in the back. Jades hair was swept half up and she wore gold accessories. Jade helped her with her makeup. Jade wore red, of course, and very high heels. She looked amazing and with her that was effortless. Tessa looked in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize herself. “Good work, Jade.” Tessa smiled at reflection and turned to Jade. “You’re stunning, Jade Ross, as usual. Tommy is a lucky boy.” Her phone chimed, she looked down to see Lucas’s picture.
- I wish it was me taking you tonight, I wish I could let you see what I know is there, deep underneath the black in my heart, Day 1 without Tessa Ross breaks my heart….LYA Lucas She turned off her phone. I need to change that picture. She heard a knock on the door and she and Jade walked into the kitchen, it was Tommy was wearing a black suit and his hair was a little more styled than usual, he looked amazing. The way he looked at Jade was absolutely priceless. His eyes sparkled as he tried not to smile to big. He was in awe of her and she of him. “See you at the dance, Tessa. Text me when you pull in so I know to look for you,” Jade said as she and Tommy left for dinner. Alex smiled. “Tessa, you look amazing.” “And Phoebe is a lucky girl to have arm candy like you tonight.” Alex frowned. “What did he do to you?” “Nothing physical, Alex. I’ll be fine. First crush… that’s all.” Alex hugged her and left to go pick up Phoebe. Tessa looked out the window and thought of how awful her senior year had been so far. But somehow, she knew it would be okay. Tessa watched as Toby pulled up in in his Blue Jeep wrangler. She walked out the door and he met her on the porch. His eyes lit up. “Tessa, you look stunning.” “Well, thank you. You look hot, Green,” she said as she went for the Jeep door. He beat her to it and opened it for her. She got in. “Thank you, sir.” “Where’s your Dad?” “He’s in the shop.” “Can we go say hi?” “Of course.” They pulled out back and her father walked out of the shop. “Hey Toby, how are things,” John said, wiping the grease off his hands before shaking Toby’s hand. “They’re great. I’m off for the long weekend and then back to Annapolis,” he said. “I wanted you to know Tessa is in great hands tonight, John.” “I have no worries.” John patted his back. “Could you take a picture of us?” Toby handed his camera to Tessa’s dad. They stepped out of the vehicle. “In front of the barn?” Toby asked. “Sure.” John took several shots in front of the barn. Some silly and some a little more of the typical posed type photos. When they were done Toby opened the door for her again and they drove out. “You’re going to be okay Tessa,” he said, squeezing her hand. “That boy is going to regret messing with my date. Are you ready to put on a show?” Tessa smiled. “I am.” *** They pulled into the school and she texted Jade. Toby jumped out and ran around the Jeep, opening the door for her and helping her out. She took his arm. A little red convertible parked a few feet away, a tall leggy brunette got out of the car, the passenger door opened and Lucas got out. He had a black suit and sunglasses on.
Tessa looked away quickly and she and Toby started walking toward them. “Is that him?” Toby asked. She nodded. “Show time,” he whispered. He slid his hand around her and placed it very low on her back, then took her hand and shoved it in his back pocket. He kissed her and held her close as they walked by Lucas and his date. “I think you chose the wrong profession, Green. You should have been an actor.” “Are you kidding me? And miss this? Besides, I’m only half acting.” He winked. “The rest is real. I’m going to show you what it’s like to be treated like a princess, and someday when you’re older, hopefully we can try it out for real.” Toby held the door open for her. “After you, princess.” Jade met them just inside the door. She saw Lucas and the brunette walk in, and her eyes narrowed. “Don’t Jade,” Tessa said quietly. “Hello, Tessa. Hey, Tommy,” Lucas said as he walked in behind them. “Tommy, you remember Marie?” “Hello, Marie,” Tommy said, he looked at him as if to ask why he brought her. “Tessa, this is Marie,” Lucas said. Toby reached out his hand to Lucas. “Hey, I’m Toby — Tessa’s date and future husband,” he said, laughing. “Oh, really?” Lucas laughed haughtily. “I’ve known Tessa for years. She’s grown into a stunning young woman, don’t you think?” Toby asked. “Yes, she is,” Lucas said. “Young being the operative word, Toby was it? And this is Marie. I have known her for years, too.” He leaned toward Tessa and whispered into her ear. “Number one.” She could smell alcohol on his breath. She glared at him. “Very cool. We both brought our number one; yours already used up, mine will be soon enough.” “You two need a minute?” Toby asked. “Nope, we’re done here,” Tessa took his hand. “Good, because I don’t like to share,” Toby said. He caressed her back and it rested on her rear as they walked away. “You okay with this?” he whispered. She reached around and squeezed his ass. “You better plan on stepping it up, Green.” “My pleasure.” As they rounded the corner he turned her around and kissed her. She held his face and kissed him back. “Get a fucking room!” Lucas said when he turned the corner. Tessa smiled at Toby. “That was nice.” “Keep walking, Links,” Tommy gently pushing Lucas toward the gym. “Yes, it was,” Toby said. “I’m sorry. This must be weird for you,” she said, blushing. “I asked you to the dance before I knew all this, Tessa. You’re hurting and I’m here, and don’t think for a second that I’m not enjoying myself. I’ve watched you for years grow into what you are today. I’ll be damned if I will let some punk screw with that perfect heart of yours. And that future husband stuff, file that under things to do after college.” He winked at her. “You kiss like an angel.” He took her arm and they walked down the hall into the gymnasium together. Jade and Tommy sat with Marie and Lucas. Alex, Phoebe, Becca, and Joshua sat at the table across from Jade them. “Let’s sit with Alex,” Tessa suggested.
Toby pulled out a chair for Tessa and then sat next to her. They all looked stunning, Phoebe was in a hot pink sleeveless dress that came to just above her knees. Becca wore a pale pink A- line dress. “We should do pictures,” Becca said standing up. They stood in line for pictures. Tommy and Jade followed and so did Lucas and Marie. The girls went together first. They did a Charlie’s Angels type pose and laughed. They did one arm and arm and one as they all jumped in the air. Tessa glanced at Lucas and his jaw twitched as he scowled. When they had finished he took her arm, “We need to talk”. “Let go of my arm,” Tessa demanded. “What do we need to talk about?” “You okay, Tessa?” Toby asked. She nodded. “Tessa, you’re not wearing a bra,” Lucas said, looking angry. “I know, it’s very freeing,” Tessa said. “Do you have a coat?” “Lucas, what do you want?” “For you to forgive me,” he said. She glared at him. “I have. Let it be.” “If you had not left me for them, this wouldn’t be happening.” She leaned into him and whispered in his ear. “I got a bikini wax when I was there, too.” She stepped back and looked at him trying to control his breathing, “That was for you.” She raised her eyebrow. His mouth opened slightly as he breathed in. “That pain won’t be wasted tonight. Now, you have fun with Marie.” She walked away. Jade met her, “You okay?” Tessa smirked. “Never been better. I told him I wasn’t wasting the wax. Now, where’s my date?” *** Lucas stood and watched as all the parents were let in for the crowning of king and queen. Tessa’s mother and father took lots of pictures of Alex and Tessa, Alex and Phoebe, and Tessa and Toby. Lucas watched as her mother hugged Toby. Lucas’s mother would not be there tonight; she had fallen back into the black hole. He was following her, as he always did, into the darkness. Tessa was beautiful and full of hate and it was his fault, and he hated himself for it. “Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Last year’s queen is unavailable to help me with this year’s crowning. She’s currently in the Peace Corp or some silly thing like that,” Toby said. Everyone laughed. “So tonight, it will be just me.” *** Tessa waited in line for court to be called. Phoebe, Jade and Becca took their flowers, and Sadi stood next to Tessa waiting expectantly to be named queen. Sadi was called as first runner up. She gave Tessa a dirty look. Tessa looked down, trying not to appear rude and holding back the childish desire to stick out her tongue. “And your Queen; my date,” Toby laughed. “Come up here, angel.” Toby crowned her and gave her a quick kiss on the nose. “Stay up here and help me crown king,” he winked. It was down to Alex and Lucas for king. Tessa was praying it was Alex. It wasn’t. Tessa placed the crown on Lucas’s head and he looked at her with his sad eyes. “Congratulations, Lucas. Now smile so your Mom can take your picture,” she said.
He flashed his dazzling smile and pulled her into his side. “Lucas, please let go.” Tessa whispered as she smiled for the cameras. “Never.” Lucas turned and looked at her, his eyes burning through hers, then slowly released her. “Will the king, queen, and court, please step to the floor for your dance,” Toby instructed. Lucas took Tessa’s hand and led her to the dance floor. He stopped and whispered to the DJ, and the DJ smiled and nodded. Eternal Flame started, and Lucas pulled her close. “This isn’t over, Tessa. I love you, and I know you feel the same.” Tessa’s heart pounded hard against her chest. Finally, she was able to pull her eyes away from him. Lucas pulled her head to his chest and kissed her gently. “Stop it,” Tessa whispered. Lucas watched Tessa, his gaze intense. Tessa looked for Lucas’s mom in the crowd and she wasn’t there. Tessa looked back at him. Why wasn’t she there? She wondered. *** The rest of the night Tessa avoided Lucas, she danced and had fun with her friends, occasionally she saw him and each time he was watching her. “Hey,” Alex said, “after the dance a bunch of us should go to camp.” Everyone agreed. *** Tessa had Toby stop by the house so she could change. She put on jeans and a long sleeve tee. When she got back outside, he had changed into jeans and was in the process of putting on a sweatshirt. Her jaw dropped; he was jacked. “Damn, Toby,” slipped out of her mouth. He laughed. “My future husband is fine.” “And the Future Mrs. Green is hot as hell, and a Queen to boot. Jump on,” he said, pointing at his back. He carried her out to the car. The boys pulled in and jumped out to change. Lucas was with them. She laughed, smacked Toby on the ass, and yelled “Giddy up Cowboy.” He plopped her in and buckled her up, then grabbed a cowboy hat from the back and placed it on her head before tearing out of the driveway. *** Tessa and Toby started a bonfire and pulled a big lounge chair closer. He pulled her into him and the sat quietly. They watched as a few trucks pulled in. Tessa started to get up and he pulled her back. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. “Relax and enjoy, Tessa.” Alex, Phoebe, Jade, Tommy, Lucas and a few others walked down and sat around the fire. Some of their friends had brought beer, and Tessa asked for one. Toby laughed. “Your dad would have your fine little ass, girl.” “And he would have yours. I heard you say that,” Tessa said, shivering. He whispered in her ear. “Check this out.” He stood up and loudly said, “Angel, you cold?” “Why, yes I am,” she answered, smiling. He slowly pulled his sweatshirt off and put it on her. “Better, angel?” “Not quite yet,” she laughed. Everyone was looking and Lucas was fuming mad. “I’ll be right back.” Toby smiled and kissed her cheek.
“Holy shit, Tessa he’s freakin’ hot,” Jade said. Everyone except Tommy and Lucas laughed out loud. “He is, and he’s nice. He kisses like...” she started. “Like what?” Toby asked picking her up and planting one on her. “Just like that,” Tessa laughed. Tessa went to grab another beer from the cooler next to Lucas, and he closed the cooler with his foot. “Excuse me,” she laughed. “You’ve had enough,” He said. Tessa pushed his foot off and grabbed a beer. She slammed it and threw the can at his feet. She grabbed another and did the same. Tessa went for another, and Lucas slammed the cooler again. She shoved his foot off, grabbed three more beers, and walked away. She sat down, and they glared at each other across the fire. “Thirsty, Angel?” Toby laughed. “Yes.” Toby laughed at her and pulled her on his lap. “Tessa,” he said and grabbed a blanket and covered them up, “slow down.” “No,” she pouted. “Shouldn’t you be kissing me?” He pulled away and looked at her. “No regrets. No awkward moments after tonight. I’m not rebound material, Tessa, I’m a keeper, and you, angel, deserve to be kept. But one more kiss for me.” His kiss was soft and caring. She enjoyed it very much. “How was that?” “Beautiful,” she whispered. “Do you need more?” he asked. “No Toby, I can wait.” She knew that was exactly how he meant for it to be. Toby uncovered their faces and smiled at her lovingly. She closed her eyes and lay her head on his chest, then promptly fell asleep. *** Lucas watched as she slept in Toby’s arms. “We are out of beer,” Mark announced. “There are three over here, she doesn’t need them,” Toby said stroking her hair. He looked at Lucas and shook his head slowly. Lucas knew that this man cared for her, but it didn’t make this any easier. He broke her, she told him so, and now Toby was going to fix her. Because I don’t know how, he thought. He stood up and walked to Tommy. “Hey man, I am going to go down to the cabin and crash, you staying here?” Lucas asked. “Yeah — Alex is too,” Tommy said. “Alright see you in the morning,” Lucas said as he bent over and picked up some of the cans and set them inside the empty cooler. He listened as Jade and Tommy talked. “How can you talk to him?” Jade asked. “Pretty girl, he’s my friend, I’ve known him all my life, and I love him like a brother,” he said. Jade saw the hurt in his eyes and understood. “Ok,” she said. “Ok,” she kissed him and he moaned. She smiled, “four and a half more months there hot stuff.” “It’s going to kill me; do you have any clue how amazing you looked tonight? Now? Every day!” Tommy asked. Jade smiled and laughed, “Yes I do.” He made his way to the cabin and climbed into the loft and tried to force himself to sleep.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Lucas watched as Toby carried Tessa into the cabin. He laid her down on the pull out sofa bed and kissed her cheek. “Sleep angel, I’ll be back.” Lucas heard him leave and got up and climbed down the ladder from the loft. He sat and stared at her; she was an angel. Lucas lightly rubbed her hand. Her skin was so soft, her lips full and beautiful. Her hair was tousled, and he pushed a stray strand off her face. He desperately wanted to hold her, but he knew it wasn’t okay. He bent down and kissed her lips lightly. Her mouth opened, and he pulled gently at her bottom lip with his own. “Lucas,” she whispered. “I love you.” She was still sound asleep as a tear fell down her face. Lucas kissed it away. He heard the door open, and quickly climbed up the ladder and lay in bed. Toby lay in bed next to Tessa, holding her in his arms. She opened her eyes. “Sorry Tessa — did I wake you?” “No, I had a dream.” “Wasn’t about me was it?” Toby said. “No, it wasn’t,” she admitted. “Tessa, what happened?” Toby asked. “It’s complicated. Very, very complicated.” “Do you want to share?” “I don’t know, I feel weird telling you my issues with Lucas,” Tessa admitted. “Tessa, this is me. You and I have known each other forever. Don’t start acting funky on me. I won’t let things be weird. I asked you to the dance and quickly figured out why you had no date,” he said, laughing. “What gave it away. I mean, at first?” “When you sent me to ask Alex permission it should have been my first clue, the Tessa I know and love doesn’t ask permission for anything,” Toby laughed. “But that didn’t give it away; it was the quarterback. When I asked Alex, the quarterback sneered no you can’t at me through clenched teeth.” He laughed. “Seriously?” she laughed. What did you expect Tessa? You set me up! Lucas thought. “So did you have ..?” Toby started to ask. “Toby! You’re really going to ask me that?” she interrupted. “Why not?’ he asked. Because it’s none of your fucking business, dick, Lucas thought. “No, actually. I even got drunk and came onto him. He didn’t do anything,” Tessa said and they both laughed. “Toby why do you think he didn’t?” “He cares about you Tessa, just seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t know how to show it. Maybe he’s afraid. Maybe he’s a virgin.” Maybe you’re a douche- canoe, Lucas wanted to scream. Tessa laughed out loud. “He’s not. I was going to be unlucky number thirteen,” she said. “Damn!” he laughed. Tessa told him about Sadi and the three B’s, about the many times she offered herself. She told him
about the good things, too, and that she loved Lucas and he said that he loved her. But she didn’t tell him the more personal stuff. Not about the abortion or the drunken mother or absent father. She held his secrets safe. And then she told him about the day she stopped at Lucas’s house and how her body froze, and that she never thought it was possible to be numb and still feel the dull nagging pain she had felt since that night. She told him about Marie being number one, and what she had said about Toby being her number one. They laughed. “You are going to get through this, Tessa, and I’m going to help you,” Toby said. “You know how you felt when you kissed me tonight? And not the ones that were part of the scandal.” Fuck, Lucas thought, I need to get out of here. “Yes,” she said softly. “What did it feel like?” “Like it was enough, like it wasn’t rushed, like it would be there whenever I wanted it,” Tessa admitted. “Okay and what about with him?” he asked. Lucas wanted to scream. “I couldn’t get enough,” she said, “and I wanted more.” “Tess, you know me right? You know that if I tell you something, I’m going to do whatever it takes to get it done. I’m safe and comfortable. I’m not going to hurt you, and in your heart you know that, even though we’ve never had a conversation like this, even though we never had feelings like this for one another before, right?” “I guess, but I did have a crush on you the summers you helped with hay,” Tessa laughed. “And I have already told you; I know your heart and love it. So with the quarterback, it’s not like that. You are so eager to please him...” Toby began. “Alright Toby, I get it. I don’t know him; I haven’t formed a relationship with him based on trust and friendship, right?” She began to cry. “It was starting, I was starting to trust him with my heart Toby, I really was, and then I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why he would cheat. I truly would hate to think it was over a bikini wax and Mani Pedi.” “Tessa, do you talk to him as freely as that?” “What do you mean?” “Bikini wax?” he laughed. “No, he didn’t know that until I told him today,” she laughed. “I told him I wasn’t going to go through that pain for nothing and sort of alluded to the fact that…” she started. “I get it, but you can’t talk like that to someone without driving him crazy.” “Why doesn’t it bother you?” “It’s all about self- control. I want a relationship with you someday. If I check out the new do I would, well... Tessa can we go to sleep, please?” Toby said exhaling deeply. “Oh,” she told him, “you should think about dead puppies. Are you a virgin?” Toby laughed. “No Tessa.” “So how many women have you been with?” “Four.” “Oh,” she said, surprised. “Is four a lot?” “More than it should be.” “So twelve is like way too many?” “Different paths, Tessa. Don’t judge, just try to understand. Everyone has their own path to walk,” he said. “But for you, Tessa, two is too many, got it?” he laughed. “What are you doing tomorrow?” Minus the four women and his lips on my girl this guy should be wearing sandals and walking on water, Lucas thought.
“Children’s choir practice and running are all that I have planned,” she yawned. “I have family to visit, but after that, can I take you on a real date? One with no pressure or expectations?” “I would love that,” Tessa yawned again. Scratch that, Lucas thought. He’s still a dick. She rested against him and they fell asleep. *** Tessa woke up earlier than anyone else and walked out to the back porch. She stretched and yawned, looking at the sky. The sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. It looked like it would be a nice day. She walked to the outhouse and went to the bathroom, then washed her hands in the creek and squatted beside it watching the water run. She hugged her knees and closed her eyes and took in a deep breath smelling the fresh fall air. When she opened her eyes she saw someone walking through the woods coming toward her; she stood up and watched him as he crossed the creek stepping on the stones not covered by water. “Good morning, Tessa,” Lucas said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Good morning. Did you stay last night?” she asked, confused. “I did.” “Oh, where did you sleep?” “In the loft,” he said, looking down. “Oh,” she rolled her eyes. “Did Marie stay?” she asked. “Of course not, Tessa. You know I wouldn’t bring her here.” “Do I?” “Tessa—.” “No big deal you should have. That’s too bad. I mean, the connection you two share must be wonderful,” Tessa said. “How was your date?” he asked. “You should know; you were on it with me,” she shot at him. He looked in her eyes. “Yeah, all the kissing was awesome to watch.” “Oh, I’m so sorry. Maybe you can go with me tonight so you can watch me give him a blow job, Lucas,” she said, raising her voice. “Maybe I can see if he will kick your ass after I screw him.” “Good morning, Tessa. Hello, Lucas” Toby said. “Could we have a minute, please?” Lucas said through clenched teeth. “Tessa, is that alright with you?” Toby asked. “Sure,” she said, staring at Lucas. Toby walked away. “I’m sorry, and I wish you would let me explain the situation you walked into the other night,” Lucas said quietly. “Um, well sure, let’s hear it,” she said. “I was stoned and drunk,” he started. “Why?” “It was a rough afternoon,” he said his face blank. “Because I went to get my nails done?” she asked. “Because I wasn’t there to Lucas set?” “It’s not at all about you.” “No, it’s not and I’m done here. You hurt me, and you won’t have the opportunity to do it again.” She walked away. “Stop Tessa, please. Just one more thing, and I won’t say another.” Tessa stopped and turned around.
“Can you be my friend for a while? I have some things to work through, and I don’t want you to not be in my life. So can we be friends? Please?” Lucas was very serious and her heart ached hearing his words. Friends. How? She wondered. He has some things to work through, her head spun as she searched his eyes for an answer. He walked towards her staring into her eyes. She was confused, and she knew he was too. She was breathing deeply and her eyes were tearing up. He grabbed her shoulders and brought her closer to him and he hugged her and she sunk into him. She grabbed his shirt and hung on to him. “I know I don’t deserve you, Tessa, but please don’t count me out. I have never needed someone’s love as much as I need yours. Be my friend. If that’s all you can give, I’ll take it. I need you to know that I love you, and someday, with some work, you’ll never doubt that again.” He closed his eyes, breathed in her hair and kissed her head. He untangled his arms and released her. She didn’t move for a few minutes. Finally, she breathed and then lightly tugged at his shirt. She wanted to stay in his warm and wanted embrace, but she knew she couldn’t. She looked up at him and turned and walked away. She took a deep breath and went to find to Toby.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Lucas watched as Tessa walked away with Toby. Tommy came out of the cabin and waved for him to come. He got into the car and sat back. “How are you doing, man?” Tommy looked over at Lucas as they pulled onto the road. Fine,” Lucas said. “Answer a question?” “Sure.” “Why did you bring Marie to the dance?” he asked. “I needed to see her, and I didn’t have a date.” “You want Tessa back?” “Yes, very much.” “Want some advice?” Tommy asked. Lucas nodded. “Stop bringing your crazy exes around.” Lucas smirked. “Wasn’t like that.” “Then what are you doing, Lucas?” he asked. “Because I’m confused.” “I’m getting better, Tommy, for her,” he said. “And for me.” Tommy smiled. “I’m so glad you finally feel you’re worth it. So what are you doing today and tonight?” “Laundry and cleaning today, not sure about tonight. Any plans?” “Going to Jade’s to meet the family. Wanna come?” Tommy asked. “No, thanks. You have fun with that,” Lucas said, laughing. “How about tomorrow? Go to church with me?” “Sure, what time?” The car swerved and he grabbed the wheel. “Watch the road.” “Sorry, man. Just so we’re clear; you did just say you’d come to church with me, right?” Tommy seemed shocked. “Yes, buddy, I did,” Lucas laughed “Wow, I think you love her.” “I do, Tommy. I do,” Lucas said. “I just wish it wasn’t so hard.” “If anyone can win a girl over, it’s you, Lucas. Just give it time.” “Tommy, the road, please. This is absolutely why I always drive,” Lucas laughed. Tommy pulled into Lucas’s driveway and put the car in park. “Okay church in the morning, right?” “Yep. nine- thirty?” Lucas asked getting out of the car. “Sunday school starts at nine, man.” “Tommy, you haven’t been to Sunday school in a year. Don’t push it,” Lucas smiled and then walked into the house. He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone. He took out his phone and sent Tessa a message. - I held you today at the same time I let you go. I trust in what I feel for the first time, you’ll be part of me forever. I am forever changed because of you, Day 2 without Tessa Ross sucks, but I can make it right? ….LYA Lucas *** Tessa got ready for her date. She had no idea where they were going so she hoped jeans would do.
She wore her favorite ones with a white blouse and a jacket, and she threw on a scarf to brighten it up. She straightened her hair and even applied mascara and lip- gloss. Jade would be proud. She walked out into the living room and sat and waited. She heard and knock and then the door opening. Toby walked in wearing jeans and a sweater. He was very handsome. His dark brown hair was cut short and his green eyes where amazing. He was six foot and in amazing shape. “Hey Tessa, how was church?” Toby asked. “Great. How was your morning?” Tessa smiled as she stood up. “Crazy, busy, and much better now.” Toby hugged her. “You ready to go?” The kids ran out yelling his name. They loved him, and he scooped them up and twirled them around. He pulled a Star Wars DVD out of his jacket and gave it to them. “You have got to watch this. It’s a classic!” They’d already seen it a hundred times, but they didn’t tell him that. “They’ve seen it, haven’t they?” he asked. “A few times,” she laughed. “But it was nice of you to think of them.” “Are you okay with this, Tessa? It doesn’t feel weird, does it?” Toby asked. “No, it’s great. Where are we going?” “Lunch and a movie sound okay?” Tessa smiled. “It sounds perfect.” *** They drove to Ithaca and went to the Commons where they ate dinner at a small café while talking about his plans when he graduated in two years. “What will your job be?” Tessa asked. “I am going to be an MD,” Toby said taking a bite of his lunch. “So you’ll be a medical doctor?” “Hopefully,” Toby said, laughing as he wiped his mouth and then hers. “Sorry,” Tessa blushed. “Will you move a lot?” “Probably every four years.” “Won’t you miss your family?” “Of course, I will. I do, however, get thirty days off leave a year. Four weeks off a year, and I get to travel and help people, and the majority of the military hospitals are on the east coast so it will be just a short plane trip home.” He sat back. “Does that bother you?” “No, I think it’s wonderful. It would just be hard, that’s all.” “What would be hard?” he asked. “Being away from family.” “Yes, I guess.” “That’s what some people do, Tessa. But the big picture is pretty awesome. I’ll retire in my forties. If I am married by the time I am twenty- seven and the wonderful woman I marry wants children, we can raise them while traveling and seeing the world if we choose. By the time our perfect little monsters are heading into their teens, we can drag them kicking and screaming back here. I can either work or coach their sports team, ya know, be present. The sacrifices I make today will be huge rewards tomorrow.” They drove to the mall and talked about their dreams and even about the possibility of a future with the two of them. She was happy when she was with him. She could still feel innocent and desired at the same time. She didn’t have to be someone she never was before. It was nice. But she often thought of Lucas and wondered if he was alright. She needed him to be alright. ***
They walked in the mall and held hands. They went to grab ice cream, and she saw Lucas standing in front of yet another brunette. He turned toward Tessa and shook his head. “Jill; number two,” he said as he walked past. Tessa looked up at Toby who looked confused. Then Toby smiled and shook his head. “What?” Tessa asked. “You’ll figure it out.” They ordered ice cream and decided to skip the movie and instead sat and talked. Tessa was home by two. He walked her to the door and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for a great weekend.” “No, thank you. You have been amazing and have opened my eyes. When will I see you again?” she asked. He smiled. “Oh, I’m sorry.” “You are so beautiful,” he said, staring in her eyes. “I’m going to be back in a few hours to shoot. Will you be here?” “Yes,” she said. “See you then, Tessa.” He opened the door for her to walk in and closed it behind her. *** Tessa woke up to Toby sitting across from her and smiling. “Tired angel?” “I guess I was,” she smiled. “I will be right out, you go ahead.” She walked out to the barn and immediately saw Lucas. What the hell is he doing here? Okay, Tessa; forgiveness, your crazy butt just heard an hour sermon on it at church. “Hey Tessa, these boys don’t believe you can shoot. Will you prove me right?” John asked. “Sure let me grab my bow.” Tessa walked into the small room that held the arsenal they had collected over the years. She came out and smiled. “Hey Lucas, why don’t you run in the house and grab an apple to put on your head?” “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he smiled. She stood and loaded the arrow, drew back the bow, and hit a bull’s eye. “Anyone else want to try?” Alex was first and he did well, Tommy was a tad bit off but did hit the target. Toby was just outside the bull’s eye. “Lucas, you want to try?” He was chewing on a piece of straw and wearing a white hat and jeans that sat on his hips as perfectly as ever. He walked up. “Sure, I’ll try it.” He had never shot one before apparently, because she had to help him, a lot. At one point she heard him breathe in when her head was close enough. She looked at him and whispered, “Did you just smell me?” He grinned and shook his head. She narrowed her eyes. “Friends don’t sniff friends, unless you’re a dog sniffing another dog’s ass.” Lucas grinned. “Tessa are we friends now?” “Yes, Lucas.” “Thank you. I think I got this,” Lucas said. He pulled back and shot. His arrow kissed hers dead center. “Look at that,” he smiled. “No way,” Tessa said. “You have done that before, faker,” she laughed. “Do it again.” And he did, four times. She looked at him and laughed. She shot guns and laughed for three hours with them. “Tessa, you’re going to hunt with us this year, right?” John asked. “Daddy, not in a million years. I’ve told you; give me a bunch of nasty people, twelve maybe
thirteen,” she looked at Lucas. “I’ll shoot them before I’d shoot a defenseless animal.” “Wow, Tessa,” Toby said. “Wouldn’t want to get on your bad side.” *** “How was dinner at Jade’s?” Lucas asked. “It was good. Jade can cook,” Tommy smiled. “What were her parents like?” “Well, her Dad seems cool, very protective. Her Mom is almost as beautiful as Jade, but a complete mess. She left right after dinner. Apparently she hadn’t seen Jade in a year. Jade cried most of the night after she left.” “Oh?” Lucas asked. “Yeah, Jade had two brothers, twins actually that died in a car accident a couple years ago,” Tommy told Lucas. “I guess her mom was driving the kid’s home from the movies and another car hit theirs. Jade and her Mom lived, the boys didn’t. That’s why Alex was held back a year in school. He stopped talking for three months, real awful time for all of them.” “So is that why her Mom is a wreck?” Lucas asked. “I suppose.” Tommy paused. “Jade said that she started doing drugs and drinking a lot after the accident. Jade’s dad came home a night early from an out of town job to surprise them and he caught her in bed with another guy. I guess they stayed together for a year until he found another guy in his bed.” “That’s not cool,” Lucas said, thinking he actually meant it. Lucas dropped Tommy off and said he would see him in the morning and drove home. Lucas walked into his quiet house and grabbed a snack out of the fridge. He looked at his phone and wanted to call her. Text her something, but he knew he couldn’t. His work was not done and she probably was still with GI Joe he thought and cringed. He looked at the half bottle of wine on the counter, took it, and went upstairs. *** Tessa and Toby stayed behind when everyone left. “When do you have to leave?” “My flight leaves out of Ithaca tomorrow at six, so I need to be there at five,” Toby answered. “Can I drive you?” “I would love that. What time do you get out of practice?” Toby asked. “Four.” “Alright then, I’ll meet you at the school, like, four- fifteen?” “Sounds like a plan.” Tessa smiled. “We could make it a date. It would be our third,” Toby said with a wink. “Can I hug you?” she asked. He grabbed her and hugged her. “You don’t have to ask, angel.” He kissed the top of her head, and she gazed into his eyes. She wanted him to kiss her. He hadn’t last night, and it bothered her. She wasn’t going to let it happen again. She wanted to know before he left tomorrow if she could feel the same desire with Toby that she felt with Lucas. She stood up on her toes and kissed him. He kissed her gently and pulled back. He smiled. “Don’t be angry at me, Tess. I’m in no hurry. I don’t want you to be, either.” She looked away and he laughed. “Tessa… don’t be like that.” “Sorry.” “No Tessa, not like that either. I want to kiss you. Things need to be clear in your head though. “ They walked to the house and he opened the door for her. He grabbed her hand as she walked in, stopping her. “Tessa, you need to know that I find you irresistible. Every part of me wants to hold you and
kiss you, and, well, my heart says not yet.” Her heart beat faster. She grinned at him, “Good.” She walked in smiling, and her Dad shook his head. “I’m taking Toby to the airport after practice,” she told him. She kissed his head and went to spend time with Kendall and Jake before they went to bed. Her phone chimed as she got into bed, and there was Lucas, staring back at her. - Your skills amaze me my new friend. The only time my mind wandered was when you said “do it again” Day 3 without Tessa Ross was a little better, I didn’t make her cry, it’s a start ….LYA Lucas Tessa and Jade were eating lunch when the boys walked in. Tommy sat down, but Lucas turned around and started to walk away. “Sit with us,” Tessa said, pointing across the table. “We are friends now, right?” He took a seat across from her. “So at church yesterday, the sermon was on forgiveness,” Jade said, smiling knowing this is where Tessa’s head was. “I’m not sure I remember what ours was, do you Lucas?” Tommy asked. “Forbidden fruit,” he answered. Tessa tried not to spit her drink across the table. She grabbed her napkin and let the milk fly into that instead. “Tessa, are you okay?” Phoebe asked. “I’m fine.” She couldn’t stop smirking. “Well,” Becca said, “he certainly does give us the message we need when we need it.” Tessa and Lucas’s eyes met, and they both started laughing. “Well, isn’t this nice?” Sadi said “Did we kiss and make up?” “Oh hey, Sadi,” Tessa said. “Good news; I was so impressed with your scuba technique that I decided to just go for it. We fucked all weekend.” She smiled. “Whore,” Sadi said and walked away. “Good at it,” Tessa yelled back. “Tessa!” Becca snapped. “What happened to forgiveness?” Tessa stood up to leave. “I forgave the bitch. She blew my boyfriend.” *** Lucas went after her and grabbed her arm. She was crying, and he hugged her and walked them under the stair well. She pulled away. He held his hands up showing her that he wouldn’t touch her, then leaned down so they would see eye to eye. “Tessa, don’t cry.” He gently wiped away her tears. “Please Tessa, look at me.” She looked at him with narrowed eyes. “I’m so sorry.” “I can’t do this, Lucas. I want to, but it hurts.” She wiped her eyes furiously “You said we were friends and I’ll take it, but I still love you.” Tessa grabbed his face and kissed him. He moaned, and she kissed him harder. He opened his mouth, and her tongue plunged deeply into his, licking him, tasting him. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back covering his mouth with his. She started to pull away, and he lifted her knees and pressed his hard length against her. She moaned as his kiss began trailing down her neck. “Lucas,” she whispered. He moved back to her lips, grinding his hips against her as his hand gripped her ass under her skirt. She was on fire, burning with desire as he dry fucked her against the brick wall. She took her mouth away,
needing a breath. Her body pulsed in a way she was not yet familiar with. She ran her hand down his stomach and against his erection, and he pushed into her, hissing loudly in her ear. “I can’t do friends, Lucas, when all I want to do is that,” Tessa rubbed his length again and pulled her hand away. “And I can’t do that again because it hurts so badly.” She started to pull away. He met her eyes. “I’m going to put you back together, Tessa.” He stroked her hair like she was a child. “I broke you, and I’m working on fixing you.” She was angry again at herself. “How are you going to do that when you’re out at the mall with your next…fu… partner?” “She was an ex, Tessa. I need to fix myself before I can fix you.” His hand rubbed slowly up her side. She arched her back toward him. “Don’t stop being my friend regardless of where this journey ends. I can never lose you, do you understand? Never.” He kissed her head and held her. “I’m taking Toby to the airport after practice,” she told him after she caught her breath. “Tell him I said good riddance. I mean, goodbye,” he smirked. “And when you’re with him, remember it was my dick rubbing against you making you want more, not his.” She bit her lip, thinking about how good he felt against her. “You two done?” Sadi interrupted. “Never,” his eyes never left Tessa’s. “Wow, kind of like us, huh Lucas?” Sadi hissed. “Nothing like us, Sadi. I told you that the other night.” His eyes firmly locked on Tessa’s while he spoke to Sadi. “Now walk away.” “Fuck you Lucas!” Sadi stormed away. The bell rang. “Friends, Tessa?” “We’ll see.” *** Toby was waiting for her in the driveway after practice, “Hey, angel,” he said, as she walked up to his Jeep. “We can take the Jeep if you’ll do me a favor.” “Sure,” she said. She saw Lucas in his white hat standing with Tommy and looking at her. Toby opened the door for her and she got in. He buckled her seat belt. “Can you drive this back to your place and park it out back? Your dad said it was okay. You can drive it anytime you want,” Toby said. She smiled “Absolutely! Thank you!” Tessa and Toby drove by the lake and he pulled over and parked. He grabbed a cooler out of the back, and they sat on the ground, her back against his chest, and ate sandwiches he had made. She told him about what happened with Lucas. “Tessa, you’ll get through this. Just go slow. Promise me you’ll go slow.” “I will, Toby. I know this is none of my business, but do you date when you’re in Annapolis?” she asked. He laughed. “No Tessa, and I wouldn’t want to; I told you; I have a past and have learned from it. I’m focused and have goals. I have a focus and know exactly what I want. I want you to be able to figure things out, you’re young, angel.” When they walked into the airport his flight was called. “Can I kiss you goodbye?” he asked. She was tearing up. He had been so good to her, and she could be strong when he was here. “Please,” she said. He held her face and gently kissed her lips. Tessa walked him walk to his gate and then sat and watched as the plane left the runway. She stood up and walked out the doors. She didn’t want to go home and sit and think about all the crazy things that had gone on over the past
few days. Since she was in the city she thought she would go shopping to pass the time. Tessa parked outside the large department store and jumped out of the Jeep. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, so she just wandered around. She walked toward the food court and there was Lucas, standing with yet a different girl, this one with short, chin- length brown hair, she was cute. The girl was smiling and looking up at him. She hugged him and he hugged her back, but it wasn’t a long lingering I want to throw you down right here hug. She tried to avoid them, but he saw her and smiled. “Is that her, Lucas?” the girl asked. “It is,” Lucas smiled. She walked up to Tessa. “Hi, I’m Amy, and I take it you’re Tessa,” she said, smiling. Lucas stood with his hands in his pockets. “Wow, Lucas, she’s beautiful.” Tessa stood there, frozen, and finally said, “Nice to meet you, Amy.” “So, I am one of his sexes,” she laughed. Tessa’s looked down. “What number was I Lucas?” He held up three fingers and shook his head. She laughed. “I think it’s amazing what he’s doing, I can see why he’s hot for you, Tessa. Good luck, you two! I have to go meet my fiancé; wedding in six weeks, much to do!” He smiled looking at her. “Hello, Tessa.” “What was that?” Tessa asked. “That was number three… Amy,” Lucas said. “Oh, your third… what did she call it?” “Sexes,” Lucas laughed. “I guess that’s sounds better than saying ex fuck. I never dated her.” “Oh.” “Come eat with me. I’m starving,” he said, grabbing her hand. She pulled it away. “I already ate.” “Will you sit with me while I eat?” he asked. “It’s a very public place, friend,” he said, trying not to smirk. “Sure, but I have to leave soon.” “You aren’t buying anything? What are you doing all the way out here then?” he asked. She looked away, “Oh, GI Joe,” he laughed. “So how did that go? Did you tell him you kissed me today?” he whispered in her ear. “Actually, I did.” “How did he take it?” “Like a man.” He ordered Chinese and got her a drink; there were two sets of chop sticks on his plate when he returned to the table she was waiting for him at. She smiled when he sat down. “What?” Lucas asked? She giggled. “You know how to use those things?” “You don’t?” “No, I mastered the fork, and it seems to work just fine for me.” He laughed. “Well, I’m going to teach you then.” She watched him open his then he opened hers and handed them to her. “No, thank you,” she said. “Not up for discussion.” Lucas stood behind her and showed her how to hold the chopsticks. She practiced and he finally let go. With the sticks in her hands, she tried and did well. He breathed her in as he stood and kissed her hair then sat down. “Good job, baby.” She took a bite of noodle. It fell and landed on her chest. “Lucky noodle.” He smiled. “Do you need me to get it for you?” She grabbed it and set it on the table. She opened a wet wipe and started cleaning the spot on her shirt. When she was done, he was staring at her with his eyebrow raised and a half smile.
“Dead puppies, FRIEND,” she snapped. He laughed. “Lucas Links,” she heard from behind her as two brunettes walked up to the table. “Hello, Tina. Hello, Tammy.” “What’s up, Linksy?” Tina smiled as she ogled him. He stood up. “This is Tessa, the girl I’m out of my mind in love with,” he said. Tessa blushed and looked down. “Oh, so that’s why you haven’t replied to my calls or texts lately?” she stared at his lower half and bit her lip. “Yeah, about that; I’m sorry that I’ve treated you that way. It’s disrespectful, and I can promise that it won’t happen again. I hope you two can find someone who makes you very happy. You both deserve that. I’m sorry if I hurt either of you in any way.” “Either of us?” Tammy asked. She looked at the other girl. “You had sex with him? You knew I was sleeping with him! You’re my sister for crying out loud!” “You didn’t have dibs or anything,” she said. “You were dating, Mark,” she snapped. “Not the whole time,” she snapped back. Tessa stood and looked at Lucas. “Can we go?” “Yep. Goodbye ladies,” Lucas said as he picked up his tray. He looked at Tessa. “Seven and eight.” “Sisters, Lucas?” she snapped. “Yeah, I was drunk and didn’t realize they were sisters at the time.” She watched as he tried not to smile, She smacked him, “You really are awful.” She turned away so he didn’t see her smile. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m going to be better Tessa, I promise,” he said and turned her toward him. “Really, Tessa.” “What were you thinking? These partners of yours may be nice to look at, but how could you stand to hear them talk? All but two I have met are freaks, Lucas,” she laughed. “Stop laughing at me,” Lucas said. “In my defense,- I didn’t really talk to any of them.” They both laughed. “So that is nine, Tessa. Only three more to go.” “Are the rest as dreadful?” Tessa asked. She finally realized what he was doing — and it was exactly what she had wanted him to do with Sadi. They walked past a pet store where a puppy was making a break for it. Tessa picked it up. It licked her face and she laughed. “You’re so damn pretty when you smile.” “Lucas don’t.” “I know.” The clerk ran out and thanked her. “Can I carry him in?” Tessa asked. Lucas followed her in as she kissed the golden lab’s head. She played with him over the glass pen while he relentlessly tried to jump back into her arms. “You like him almost as much as he likes you, don’t you?” Lucas asked. “We had a dog like him for twelve years. His name was Hans, after Han Solo. Alex named him,” Tessa said. “He died at the end of last Spring.” “You should get him, Tessa. Look at him; he wants you to come take him. GET ME OUT OF THE PEN, TESSA, I NEED YOU TO SAVE ME,” Lucas said in his best puppy voice. Tessa laughed. “My Dad would kill me,” she said, “but the kids would love it.” She picked up the puppy, and he nuzzled into her neck and nibbled on her ear. She Eskimo- kissed his wet black nose and set him down. He barked as she walked away.
They walked by Victoria Secret and Lucas grabbed her hand, trying to pull her in. She laughed and kept walking. They got to the Gap and she went in to buy a couple pair of dress pants; he bought some polo’s. Tessa grabbed Jake and Kendall a new sweatshirt and some new socks and undies. He walked her out to the Jeep. “He gave you his Jeep?” Lucas asked, shocked narrowing his eyes. “No, but I can drive it whenever I want. I’m probably going to just park it behind the shop.” “You want to make out in it and send him a picture?” Lucas smiled his evil little grin. “I wouldn’t do that to him, or with my friend,” Tessa said coolly. “Only at school?” Lucas said. “That was a mistake — .” “No Baby it wasn’t.” “Lucas — .” “Can I hug my friend goodnight?” Tessa hugged him good night and drove home happy but confused. *** Toby had called on her way home and she’d pulled over to talk to him. He’d told her how to use the Bluetooth in the Jeep and ended the call by telling her he missed her. When they hung up, she was more confused than ever. She drove home and did some chores and got everything all ready for the next day. Her phone chimed and Lucas smiled back at her from the display. - She kissed me!!! And I didn’t want to sneak her in the locker room and bend her over the bench, (Until now as my wildly filthy mind is racing) but rubbing against her almost made me cum in my pants. And then at the mall she dropped a noodle on her chest and well, all the dead puppies in the world could not have stopped my mind from racing then. Day 4 without Tessa Ross…well it wasn’t all that bad, I can fix this….LYA Lucas
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Tessa woke up to a loud unfamiliar noise, she jumped out of bed and looked at the clock, it was only four thirty in the morning. Tessa had an hour before she needed to be out of bed. She ran down the stairs and heard it again. Tessa went to the kitchen and Alex was standing there trying to figure out what the noise was too. The sound was coming from the mudroom. They turned on the light and looked out the kitchen window; there in a huge, metal cage was a fuzzy little yellow lab. As soon as the light came on he started barking. Tessa opened the door to the cage and took him out, and he immediately stopped barking. He nuzzled into her hair and nibbled her ear, then fell asleep. Tessa laughed when she saw the fifty pound bag of puppy food and cans of wet food. There was a leash and a navy collar with a tag engraved with the name “CHEWY”. “What is this all about, Tessa?” Alex asked. “Lucas.” There was a bin with an envelope of shot records and other paperwork, a packet of flea and tick ointment, and about five chew toys. Under the bin, was a large pillow that the puppy might someday grow in to. Next to that was a food and water dish. “You cleaned house today,” Alex yawned. “A jeep and a puppy. What the heck do they see in you?” he said, smiling. “What the hell is that thing, Tessa?” her Dad asked as he entered the mudroom running a tired hand through his hair. Chewy growled at him. “A puppy, Dad. His name is Chewy, and he was a gift.” “And who do we have to thank for that?” John asked. “I don’t know. There wasn’t a note,” she said, shooting Alex a look begging for him to keep her secret. “I’m going back to bed.” John yawned. “Can we keep him? Please, Dad” Tessa asked. “As long as you take care of him,” he yawned. “We still have that invisible fence collar from Hans, right?” She nodded. “Alright, then.” Tessa couldn’t wait to show the kids. She figured since she was up, she should get ready for school. She had a game tonight but was way too excited to sleep. When she was dressed and ready, she held Chewy up next to her face and took a picture. She sent it to Lucas with a thank you message. - He was still whining in agony when I walked back into the mall, he missed you, I understand how he feels, he may be a mess at first but with your guidance and love he will be ok, by the way the picture is priceless , my new screen saver …LYA Lucas *** It was lunchtime and Lucas sat across from Tessa. They stared at each other the entire time making stupid faces, what are we in junior high? she thought laughing at his cross eyes. The bell rang and neither
of them got up. Jade turned to see where she was and Tessa and Lucas were at the table still staring at each other. “Did either of you hear the bell?” Jade asked. They laughed and stood up. Lucas grabbed Tessa’s hand, and she stiffened up and he took a deep breath, kissed her hand and smiled. “See you later, Tessa.” God, I hope so, she thought. *** They Saints were ahead by three at the end of the third quarter and Tessa heard a barking puppy. Lucas was carrying Chewy to the bleachers. He raised his paw and made him wave to her. She smiled and laughed. “Lucas got a puppy?” Phoebe asked. “No Lucas got me a puppy,” Tessa said and smiled, “His name is Chewy.” When the game ended she looked over to him and he was surrounded by girls. They were all gushing over him and Chewy. Lucas was smiling and set him down and his little feet ran as fast as they could to Tessa. She bent down and picked him up, he licked her face as she sucked in her lips and laughed. He walked over and half the swarm of B’s followed him. “Links is that your baby?” the goalie from the other team asked, “got to be he’s a handsome little guy,” she said and reached over and pet him. “Hey Julie, he’s actually Tessa’s puppy. Tessa this is Julie,” he said. “Nice to meet you Julie,” Tessa said trying to avoid Chewy’s tongue from slipping in her mouth. “You too, so Lucas you free tonight, I’ve missed you?” Julie said as she looked him up and down. “Actually I have been meaning to get a hold of you,” unbelievable Tessa thought as she walked away with her fuzzy little bundle. As Tessa introduced Chewy to her team Lucas was apologizing to one of the dirty dozen. They were playing with him and Lucas walked over and yanked on her braid, “Number six,” and he bent down and kissed her sweaty head. “How did that taste?” Tessa asked laughing. “Like more,” he said and kissed her head again. “S’mores?” she asked laughing. “Yeah, S’mores,” he smiled. “Can you keep him while I go shower?” Lucas took a deep breath and set his jaw, “Of course, he’s way more distracting then a basket of dead ones.” Lucas threw a toy for Chewy in the field and Chewy fetched it, he certainly hadn’t mastered the art of bringing it back or the release yet but Lucas was sure he would do well at it soon enough. Tessa walked out and Chewy was sniffing around looking for a place to pee. “Awe he’s got to go potty,” she said laughing. They watched him as he made his way to the exact spot Tessa started the game at and squatted and peed. “He’s marking his territory baby,” Lucas laughed. “Great game Tessa Ross,” Mark said as he looked her up and down and winked. “Thanks Mark,” she said and looked away. She saw Lucas scowling at Mark. “Tessa?” Lucas asked. “Yes,” she replied. “Would you be offended if I pissed on your leg, mark you as mine,” she smacked him. “Was John angry?” “Actually no, he was great about it,” she said, “We have invisible fence from Hans so he’s alright with it.”
“That’s cool so Chewy will be an outside dog?” Lucas asked and she could see concern in his eyes. “Well with Hans when we were outside he was too. The invisible fence kept him safe. He slept inside with us every night but if he wanted to go out and we were preoccupied he was safe to go out alone for a bit. When we weren’t home he was inside. Chewy has to be trained on the boundaries and we have to know he’s ready. It’ll be a while before he’s out without anyone supervising,” Tessa explained reassuring him. “Ok good,” he smiled and looked relieved. “Do you want to keep him for a few hours?” “Like joint custody?” he said and laughed, “No Tessa he’s yours, he chose you.” “Would you like to come up for dinner Lucas?” Tessa asked. He smiled, “I wouldn’t want to impose.” “Do I need to beg?” “Oh God please don’t,” he said looking down. “Dead pu — .” she started. He put his hand over her mouth, “Not in front of Chewy.” She narrowed her eyes and bit his hand. His eyes rolled back and he closed them. “You are sadistic,” she said laughing. “You have no idea,” he moaned. Her heart raced, what the hell am I thinking with what happened with Sadi just a few days ago and here I am having these thoughts again, unbelievable Tessa she thought. “Okay no dinner then?” she asked looking annoyed. “I would love to but right now Tessa I think I should go home,” he said sadly. “Okay,” she said and gave him a fake smile. “Then why do you look sad?” “I’ve just had a rough few days,” he said, more like eighteen years. He watched as her eyes changed, “Ok come on, Chewy.” “Hey Tessa, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going away for a few days,” he said looking down. “Oh why, I’m sorry, I mean have fun,” she looked down and he laughed, “Well I don’t know what I should say.” “What do you want to say Tessa?” Lucas asked. “Are you okay, is your family alright, where are you going, are you going alone, do you want to have sex before you go so you won’t want anyone else? Probably all the creepy crazy jealous girlfriend things boys hate and I’m not even your girlfriend,” Tessa admitted and he laughed. “Well I’m driving down to New Jersey to see my Dad for a couple days, it’s been awhile. I loved that you asked if I was okay first, that’s not what a creepy crazy jealous girlfriend would ask,” Lucas laughed. “I am doing no one else, well no one at all actually. But there’s this girl I love, anyway.” He stepped towards her and pulled her into a hug. “Awe how cute — you two had a puppy,” Sadi said as she walked by and flipped them off. They both laughed. “When will you leave?” she asked. He told her tonight that way he would be home by Friday morning and still be able to play in their last game. “Please drive safely and call me when you get there.” *** Lucas walked into his house and stood in the kitchen for a few minutes. His bag was already packed and sitting by the door. He went through the house and made sure everything was locked up tightly. He grabbed his phone charger and turned off the light. He got in his car and pulled out of his driveway. He was dreading the five hour drive but at least one of his obligatory nights would be without the drama that always ensued when Dad was in a new relationship.
When he pulled into the driveway of his fathers lake house, the motion light came on. He looked at the house and he saw his Dad and a blonde who was way too young for him walk out onto the porch. Here we go, he thought. “Lucas, this stunning woman is Mandi, with an “i”,” Landon said. Of course with an I Lucas thought. “And Mandi, this is Lucas, star quarter back, honors student, and my devastatingly handsome son.” She smiled. “Nice to meet you, Lucas. My, you’re almost as cute as your Daddy,” Mandi winked. “You alone, Lucas?” his dad asked. Lucas nodded. “Losing your touch, boy?” “Dad, can we discuss this later?” Lucas said, looking toward Mandi. “Just odd; you always bring something to keep you warm,” Landon winked and laughed as they walked in the house. Lucas walked into the kitchen and set his bag down. He put his phone on the island and sat in one of the leather stools lined up in front of the counter. “Dad, can we talk alone for a minute?” “Mandi can hear anything we need to talk about, son. Hey sexy, would you grab us a couple beers out of the fridge?” Landon asked her. “Sure, Landon,” she said, smiling. “Dad, I need to talk to you alone,” Lucas said. Mandi brought over two beers and set them on the counter in front of them. “Landon, I’m a little tired. I am going to head up to bed. You two talk.” Mandi smiled, “Very nice to meet you, Lucas.” “What’s going on, Lucas?” Landon asked. “Mom’s in the hospital. She had a relapse last Friday. I want to get her into rehab, and I need your help,” Lucas said, dreading what would come next. “The psych ward again? What the fuck is wrong with her?” Landon asked. “That bitch has never been able to keep it together for more than six months.” “Don’t talk about my mother that way,” Lucas said. His phone chimed, and Tessa and Chewy’s picture popped up on the screen. “Nice, Lucas,” his dad said, grabbing the phone and smiling. “How long have you been doing her?” “I haven’t DONE anything with Tessa,” Lucas said. “It’s not like that with her.” He grabbed the phone and checked the message. - Hope you arrived safely, please let me know….LYA Tessa He smiled, when he saw the LYA, it had been awhile since she had signed that way He typed a reply. - Just got here safe and sound Baby…Thank you…LYA Lucas. Landon was looking over his shoulder. “What’s LYA mean Lucas?” “Love You Anyways,” Lucas said. “So are you going to help Mom or not?” “Why should I? I’ve paid for the house, I pay all the bills, and you have a credit card with free range, Lucas,” Landon said. “What more should I be obligated to do for her?” “For her, Dad? You’ve been divorced since I was three. You try to make her feel worthless, and you put the house in my name. You are obligated even though you don’t fucking get it,” Lucas snapped at him. “Drink your beer, son, you need to relax. And don’t talk to me like that; I’m your father,” Landon snapped back. “My father who is giving his eighteen year old son a beer to relax. My father who wants to know why I didn’t bring a piece of ass with me and who wants his Flavor of the Month to be present for our conversation. My father who has known I’ve stayed alone since I was fourteen while my mother dries up.”
“That’s enough, Lucas,” Landon interrupted. “You cannot blame me for your mother’s problems. It’s not my fault she’s an alcoholic!” “How many of your ex- wives aren’t alcoholics, Dad?” “That’s not my fault,” he said. “Well, ask yourself what the common bond is between them.” Lucas stood, grabbed his bag, and headed upstairs. He picked up his phone to text Tessa. *** Her phone chimed and she smiled. - She’s more precious to me every day. Her innocence and heart are pure and perfect. I want to be her soft place to land when she feels like falling. I dream of making her as happy as she makes me…. Day 5 without Tessa Ross makes me know I have to become the man she deserves. To love and take care of her always ….LYA Lucas - you sound sad Lucas. Please don’t be sad, I Love you, like a friend…Tessa - what happened to LYA?!??! …LYA Lucas - Not necessary anymore, I just love my friend :) - Not sad anymore, go to sleep baby you have school in the morning …LYA Lucas Tessa laid in bed smiling; he wasn’t perfect when she fell in love with him, but every day he seems to want to be better. She needed to step it up to make him happy and she was pretty sure she knew how. Now for some sweet dreams, she smiled. *** When Lucas woke up, his dad was gone. Lucas grabbed a pair of shorts and laced up his sneakers. He pulled out his phone. - good morning Tessa; I dreamt about you last night and woke hard as stone and had to rub one off… wishing it was real and it was you instead of my hands that are now collecting calluses. Baby, I miss seeing your perfect smile..... LYA...Lucas. He tossed his phone on the bed and went outside to run around the lake. He was running hard when he saw Leah outside her parents’ house, where he had first met her last year. Leah saw him and squinted to be sure it was him. Lucas slowed down and stopped in front of her; he smiled and held his finger up while he caught his breath. She laughed and smiled back. He turned his back to her and bent down concentrating, taking deep breaths “Hey, you remember me?” Lucas asked, finally able to speak after catching his breath. “Of course I do, Lucas,” she smiled. “I’m going through something, and well… I fell in love, and she made me realize how wrong I’d been to act like I did. I’m sorry, Leah.” “She must be something special.” “I hope you’ve found someone who treats you better than I did, Leah,” Lucas said.
“I haven’t. I’ve been waiting to see you again,” Leah said softly. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” he said, pulling his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face. “Forgiven,” she said, staring at his abs. They shook hands, and Lucas went to finish his run. *** When Lucas wasn’t at school, it was even harder to concentrate. Tessa missed his hand holding hers, his kisses, laugh and his smile, oh his smile was amazing. At lunch she tried to call him, but there was no answer. She hung up. She jumped as her phone rang. - Hey angel I have two minutes free and I wanted to say hello. Things are crazy here but I still think about you often. I hope all is well, hope to talk to you soon, be good to yourself…Toby - TOBY!!! It is great hearing from you, send me a picture of you in uniform please I want to set it up as your ID when you text me again…BTW it better be more often! Tessa Her phone chimed and it was a picture of them at homecoming, a second was of him in uniform, she smiled. - smoking hot …TTYS…Tessa *** Landon came home at noon and brought lunch. Lucas had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed when his dad yelled up the stairs. “Anyone home?” “I’ll be down in a minute, Dad,” Lucas answered. “Let’s eat lunch, Lucas,” Landon said. “Your sisters will be her at two; I have a sitter coming to watch afterward while I’m at a meeting with possible investors. I’d like you to join me.” Lucas decided to join his father for dinner with the hopeful investors; he would meet him downtown at about four. He would have a chance to spend a couple hours with the sisters that he barely knew. He grabbed his phone and saw she had called. He knew she was in class now and that she wouldn’t be able to take his call. - Miss you baby... Love Lucas. At one thirty, Audrianna pulled in with Alexandra and Ally. They were beautiful, with big green eyes and caramel hair, dressed in matching pink dresses and white shoes. Their hair was in pigtails with ribbons tied perfectly around them. They looked a lot like Lucas. “Hello, Audri,” Lucas said, smiling at the girls. “They are beautiful.” “How are you, Lucas? Ally and Alexandra, this is your big brother, Lucas. Do you remember him, girls?” Audrianna asked. They both shook their heads and smiled shyly. Lucas knelt down. “I’m going to hang out with you guys for a few hours before I have to go meet Dad for his meeting. What would you like to do?” Audri answered her phone. “Hello…Oh, ok…I’ll see what I can do…no, I understand…see you soon. Damn it,” she mumbled under her breath as she hung up. “Ashley,” she called, waving her sister to come in. “Is that your aunt?” Lucas asked the girls and smiled.
“Yes,” they answered giggling. “Good, I need to talk to her. Audri do you mind?” Lucas asked. “You’re asking permission?” Audri replied. “Look what went on between us was a long time ago. But yeah I guess I am.” “She’s happy, Lucas,” Audri cautioned. “Good, I am too” Lucas said. “Is it alright?” “Go ahead, Lucas,” Audri said. He walked to the car and opened the door for Ashley. “Hey Ash, can we take a walk?” Ashley’s eyes widened. “Lucas… I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said looking toward the girls, “and I am... seeing someone.” “Me too, Ash,” Lucas smiled. “I just want to apologize for some things.” “Okay then,” Ashley said as she got out. They only walked a few feet away, but he did his normal spiel. She hugged him and he hugged her back. Ashley was a great person. They had a different relationship than he did with the girls back home. It was fun, no strings tossed in with some mutual respect mixed with a bit of alcohol- fueled sex, a great distraction from his father’s nonsense. “So we are good, right?” Ashley asked. “I hope so,” Lucas said, smiling. They walked back to the house and his phone chimed. Ashley saw the picture ID. “She’s pretty, Lucas,” Ashley smiled. “Are you being good to her?” “I’m trying. She just… I don’t know. She’s just different than of the other girls back home.” Audrianna smiled. “It is so nice to see you happy, Lucas, I don’t think I have ever seen you like this.” “I know. Things are changing,” Lucas smiled as he looked at his two sisters. *** Audrianna had always felt sorry for the life he lived. Her soon to be ex was too busy with work or trying to be the man she thought she had married, to pay any attention to Lucas. She knew his mother had major substance abuse issues and that he had been the one to deal with her. And now that she was a Mom she saw him differently. She wished she had pushed more for Landon to be a better father than he was to Lucas. She wished she could have not been jealous or wrapped up in her own dream world to see that the troubled, obnoxious, hormone filled boy really had a sad, angry life and he just needed guidance. *** “I am so glad, Lucas, I really am. You deserved better than you were dealt, and I should have tried to help. I’m sorry,” Audri said. “I’m fine, doing better every day. And whatever I’ve said or done in the past to make your life harder, I apologize. Oh, and thank you for giving me these two. I think we will be great pals,” he said. They giggled. “So Ashley, we’re going to have to change our plans. The sitter is going to be about an hour late,” Audrianna said. “No way, I got this. We can have fun together, can’t we, girls?” Lucas asked, swooping them up and spinning them in a circle. “Oh no, Lucas you don’t have to,” Audri said, looking a bit nervous. “Please, Mommy,” the girls said in unison. Lucas smiled. “Audri, I promise they will be fine. I won’t break them.” “He’ll be okay,” Ashley said, reassuring Audrianna.
Audrianna reluctantly agreed, and she and Ashley left. The girls took him out back and showed him the tree fort their father had built for them. “Wow, this is so cool,” Lucas said, climbing up behind them. It was very low to the ground, so Lucas felt that it was safe for them. They played Princess for an hour. He of course was the prince and had to marry both of them. “Okay, but only because it’s pretend. When you grow up, its only one prince for each of you. And he better be really good to you, because if he isn’t, do you know what’ll happen?” Lucas asked in a deep voice. Their eyes widened, and he threw his hands in the air making them appear like giant claws. “Your brother will turn into a dragon and gobble them up.” He picked them up and pretended to chew their ears as they laughed. He heard someone laugh from behind him. “That’s cute.” “Leah,” the girls yelled and ran to her. “Hey Leah, what’s going on?” “She’s here to watch us, but she doesn’t have to; now we have you!” Alexandra ran to Lucas and jumped in his arms. So this is how it feels, he thought, this is what family is all about. Lucas had always felt that they were the competition. He didn’t realize that they could be so much more. Lucas hugged her tight. “I have to meet Dad for a couple hours, and then I will be back. Are you spending the night?” “We don’t spend the night, silly,” she laughed. “Well maybe tonight you can, should we call your Mom and ask?” “Yeah,” they both said. Leah gave Lucas Adrianna’s phone number. Lucas called and asked her if the girls could stay. She was reluctant but agreed that it was alright if Leah could stay as well. They all agreed and the girls went crazy. Lucas asked Leah to take a picture of them in the entry before he left. He messaged Tessa. - hanging out with two beautiful girls, they are spending the night! Hope you don’t mind…LYA Lucas Lucas attached the picture and sent it to her. Tessa’s phone chimed. Her heart sank until the picture downloaded. Then she smiled. Another text came through. - This is Ally and Alexandra, my sisters!...LYA Lucas - They’re beautiful Lucas. You seem happy!!! Much better than last night’s text… your friend…Tessa - Like you…have to go with Dad for two hours, then back here, this will be their first overnight since their Mom left…Hope he doesn’t get mad when I tell him, lol…LYA Lucas *** Tessa spent the evening training Chewy on the invisible fence. Chewy hated the beeping noise he heard when he got too close to his fenceless boundaries, but he was a quick learner. John had bought a hot tub since they couldn’t use the pond now that it was cold. Tessa loved the thought of relaxing in the hot tub after practices but cringed when she thought about Lucas with Sadi. She was an idiot. She had to keep this thing between them strictly friends. How the hell will I do that? Whenever she saw him she needed to touch him, to kiss him. She loved him. Time to get tough, she thought, God help me, please, she thought, or let him change. I love him.
*** Lucas rode home with Landon from the meeting, happy that his dad hadn’t freaked out about the girls staying over. He was annoyed that he left his car at the country club, but his Dad kept buying drinks and his new investors seemed to like the fact his son was allowed to drink. How that impressed them was beyond him. John Ross wouldn’t be impressed he was sure of that. *** The girls ran to Lucas when he got out of the car. Lucas picked them up and spun them around. Damn he thought, a bit tipsy. “Okay girl’s; hot tub time!” They raced to change, then jumped in the twelve person tub that sat overlooking the lake. His Dad joined them. “Hey Leah, could you grab my phone and take a picture of us?” Lucas asked. Landon smiled. “They have really taken to you, Lucas.” “They are great, Dad. They really have never spent the night?” “I’m a very busy man,” Landon reminded him. Of course you are, Lucas thought. “Alright, little princesses,” Lucas said. “Time to get ready for bed. It’s getting late. Leah, could you wash the chlorine off them and get them in their PJ’s?” “No,” Ally said stomping her foot. “We want to stay with you!” “Okay, why don’t we all sleep in my room, pillows and blankets on the floor? It’ll be like we’re camping,” Lucas suggested. The girls jumped up and down clapping their hands. They were excited. Lucas showered, washed his face, and brushed his teeth. He pulled on his pajama pants. He grabbed his phone and sent Tessa the picture of his father, sisters and him in the hot tub. *** Her phone chimed and she smiled - Day 6 without Tessa Ross has been enlightening. From her I have been able to see what family is supposed to be. I have two sisters that are amazing and we are going to “Camp Out” on my floor tonight. Without her light shining through me I would have never been able to or have the desire to see how precious love is. … LYA Lucas - I hope you have a great time, I miss you, and BTW you made me cry…Love… Your friend…Tessa - I’m sorry Tessa that wasn’t my intention…LYA Lucas - Happy tears Lucas, thank you. Go have fun with those beautiful girls (never thought I’d ever think that, lol)… Love!!!..Your friend…Tessa *** “Hey Lucas, the girls got carried away with the water. Do you have a shirt I can wear?” Leah asked, soaked to the skin. He chuckled and tossed her an extra shirt. The girls ran in and jumped on Lucas’s bed. “Hey can I jump too?” Leah stood on his large wooden bed with the mirrored wall behind it and snapped shots of them all jumping. The girls were laughing and so was he. Landon walked in and watched his three children with a
smile. “I think it’s bedtime, you four,” he raised his eyebrows and winked at Lucas. “Go give Dad a hug, girls,” Lucas whispered. He grabbed his phone and sent a picture to Tessa of them jumping, all their feet were raised behind them in the air and they were smiling. Perfect he thought. - Having fun…LYA…Lucas. Lucas threw his phone on the bed and tucked them in; they insisted he be in the middle. He said prayers with them, which he had not done in years. “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord our souls to keep, the angels watch us through the night and keep us in their blessed sight. This we ask in Jesus name, AMEN,” Ally and Alexandra said together. Ally and Alexandra each kissed Lucas, hugged him, and fell asleep. Lucas was awake and had to use the bathroom. He was still tipsy. He tucked the girls in and grabbed a pillow and put it at the foot of the bed telling himself that he would be back down there when they woke. He missed Tessa and in less than a day he would see her. He fell asleep and dreamt of the girl he loved. Leah left the girls bedroom and walked into Lucas’s room. He was asleep on his back, shirtless and hot as hell. She climbed up next to him and rubbed his stomach. He smiled. She kissed his lips. She took his hand and placed it under the shirt that still smelled like him. He took a deep breath, and she kissed his lips. She sat on him, unbuttoning the shirt and laying her naked breasts on his chest. She slowly began to grind into him. He moaned. She kissed him, and he kissed her back. Lucas rolled on top of her and kissed her deeply. She spoke his name. “I want you, Lucas. Take me again.” “Oh God, Leah! No, no, no,” he whispered as he sat up. “We’ve already done it once. You seemed to really like it. Let’s do it again, Lucas,” Leah said, bending to kiss him. He moved away and his phone fell to the floor. “Shit Leah,” he whispered. “The girls are sleeping right there, and I already told you I was sorry about the first time. I was different then.” Leah stood up. “Sorry I just thought...” She began to tear up. “Leah...” he interrupted, “Okay just... let’s forget this happened, okay? Just go back to bed.” Leah left and Lucas laid in bed thinking about what could have just happened and how it would have ruined everything he had been trying to accomplish over the past few days. When he had calmed down he went and used the bathroom and then laid down with his sisters and fell back to sleep. *** Tessa woke up and smiled. She turned off the humidifier and grabbed her phone; she had a missed call from Lucas. Damn, I wonder what time he called. she grabbed her clothes and headed for the door. She would listen to the message in the bathroom. She was so excited that she was going to hear his voice. “I want you Lucas, take me again,” she heard a woman’s voice say. “Oh God, Leah! No no no,” she heard Lucas whisper. “We’ve already done it once. You seemed to really like it,. Let’s do it again Lucas,” the woman said. “Shit Leah, the girls are sleeping right there,” she heard Lucas say right before the message ended. Tessa was in shock. She played it again. She felt the blood drain from her face and sat on the toilet lid. Oh no, you don’t, Tessa Ross. That’s enough. He’s a player. She ignored her head and grabbed her phone. She started to text him and stopped, then put the phone down and jumped in the shower. As she got ready for school, she heard the song “I Will Survive” in her head. She started laughing. Done, you asshole. I am officially done. Two months is nothing. I’ll be fine. ***
Lucas woke to two giggling girls staring at him. “Well good morning, my gorgeous, intelligent princesses. How did you sleep?” “It was wonderful, my prince,” Alexandra said. “I felt a pea under my mattress,” Ally said. “Well, we mustn’t have that,” Lucas said, pretending to be annoyed. Lucas sat them on his bed and threw the blankets to the side, grabbing the imaginary pea. “I’ve found the culprit, my lady. I shall banish it from the kingdom.” He went into the bathroom and flushed the toilet. “Pea belongs in the potty.” The girls laughed hysterically. After breakfast, Audrianna came to pick them up. “No Mommy, we want to stay with Lucas,” they pleaded. “Well, my fair maidens, I must return to my kingdom far away. I have dragons to slay on Friday night,” Lucas beamed. “We want to watch,” they begged. “Then I shall send you a video,” he replied with a smile. Lucas watched Landon standing in the doorway of the kitchen, obviously amused by the interaction between his three children. He looked at Audrianna and smiled. She blushed and looked down. She was Lucas’s favorite step monster. Landon smiled. “Well, ya know, I’m considering driving up tomorrow to see Lucas, to um… slay the dragons. Maybe you three could come with me?” “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Audrianna said apprehensively. “Lucas, could you take the girls to get their things?” Landon asked. Lucas paused listening to the conversation from the hallway. “Audri, we can go together,” Landon said “As a family, no pressure. He seems to really enjoy them, I have never seen him happier and they adore him. Please I know that it would be too much for me to ask to take them alone, but will you go with us?” “Landon, this is for the kids, all three of them, do you understand?” “Sure.” “And what about your girlfriend?” “I think this is more important right now, she will have to deal with it or not, it’s really not a big deal to me.” Lucas took the girls to get their things. “Okay, the princesses are ready,” Lucas said, carrying one of the girls under each arm. “Well, my fair ladies,” Landon said, “we are all going to watch Lucas slay the dragons tomorrow.” They clapped and hugged their father. “Mommy, too?” Ally asked. “Yes, Mommy, too,” he said, smiling at her. Lucas sent a message to Tessa. - I’m leaving in about an hour, should be home at around one, I’m going to come in so that I can make practice and see you!!! Guess what? My Dad and sisters will be coming to the game tomorrow night. The girls can’t wait to meet you, and please excuse anything my father may say, most of my bad habits, of the past, come from him…LYA.. Lucas - Drive safely…Your bud, Tessa He smiled at her response. What does that mean? He wondered. “Lucas, here’s a check for your mother’s rehab,” his father said. “The conditions are as follows; first,
you come here one weekend a month. I want to see you, and your sisters seem to love you. Second, your mother stays in treatment for three months. I want her to recover for good this time.” “Thanks, Dad, See you tomorrow.” Lucas hugged his dad, trying to remember how long it had been since they’d actually embraced. It felt good.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Tessa was at lunch when Lucas walked in. “Hey, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He kissed her cheek and sat next to her. She wanted to punch him in the face. He has been playing her since day one; she was tired of his game and had spent most of the morning thinking of a game of her own, but her well thought out plans were quickly gone as her heart pounded wildly in her chest. How was she supposed to concentrate on revenge if just being near him did this to her? “You okay, Tessa?” he asked. She nodded. “So tomorrow some college’s are sending recruiters here to check us out.” Lucas said. “My Dad talked to the head coach from Syracuse personally, and he’s sending out some guys. Isn’t that cool? I’d be close to you and at a great school.” She smiled and nodded. “Tessa, what’s going on?” She pointed to her throat. “You lost your voice?” he asked. “No. Just sore,” she whispered. I’ll cry if I talk, you asshole. She tensed up as he felt her forehead. “You aren’t warm.” She stiffened and felt her eyes narrow. “Baby, are you okay?” The bell rang. “Got to go. See ya.” She darted out the door. Where the hell was Donna Summers voice in her head when she needed her? Tessa walked into class and sat down next to Jade. “What was that about, Tessa. You have been acting weird all day!” Tessa couldn’t tell Jade because she would probably tell Tommy or kick Lucas’s ass. “I’m just off. I’ll be fine.” Tessa excused herself and went to the locker- room. She quickly changed for hockey and made it to the field before the boys came out. She practiced hard. She was a good person she kept telling herself, she had to help him get through tomorrow with his family and the SU recruiters, she could do this and then she would just tell him to leave her alone. After practice, Tessa showered and changed. She went quickly to the truck, hoping Alex and Jade would come out before Lucas. She flipped through her phone and looked again at the pictures he had sent. Her eyes started to tear up when she realized that the reflection in the mirror from the first picture with Lucas and the girls was the same as the one from them jumping on the bed. She noticed the girl, Leah, she assumed, was wearing his shirt. She heard people coming from behind, closed the phone, and sunk down, trying to breathe deep and slow to stop the flood she knew was coming. One more day, she told herself. One more day. “Tessa, what the hell is going on with you?” Lucas asked. “Do you need to go to the hospital, baby? You are a mess.” He opened the door and tried to touch her. “Don’t,” she said. “Okay Tessa, sorry,” he said, looking confused. “I need to know what is wrong.” You are wrong, you asshole. You and your games. “I have my period and don’t feel well,” Tessa said, trying to make him uncomfortable enough to walk away. “Oh,” Lucas said. “Okay. Do you get like this usually? I mean is this normal?”
Now she was getting pissed. “No,” she snapped. “Okay.” “Hey Lucas, come up for dinner. Tessa put a roast in the crock pot big enough to feed an army,” Alex offered as he walked up to them. Are you kidding me? she thought. “Sounds good,” Lucas said. “You alright with that, Tessa?” “I’m probably just going to bed anyway, but you’re more than welcome, bud,” she said through clenched teeth. “Ride with me?” he asked. “I would rather not move,” Tessa said, looking away. “Alright,” he closed the door and walked to his car. “Tessa, what’s going on with you?” Alex asked. “I have my period,” she said, knowing it would freak him out. Alex cringed. “Gross,” *** They pulled in the driveway and Lucas followed them into the house. Tessa walked in the door, and Chewy bounded up to her and pounced on her. Lucas came in a few seconds later, and Chewy went nuts. Tessa set him down and he ran to Lucas. “Daddy’s home, huh boy,” he said, winking at Tessa as he picked up the dog. “Traitor,” Tessa whispered. Tessa checked the roast; it was falling apart and ready to eat. Kendall, Jake, and John walked in the door wrapped in towels. “Did you tell Lucas about the hot tub?” Kendall asked “I forgot,” she said. “That’s cool,” Lucas said as he messed up Kendall’s hair. “Yeah, Lucas likes hot tubs, don’t you?” she asked snidely. He looked at her with hurt in his eyes. She was putting the food on plates, and he walked over to help. “Sorry, baby,” he whispered. “We do need to talk about that sometime.” “Spare me the details,” she said. She noticed him watching as she pushed the food around on her plate. There was no way she could eat. She emptied her food in the garbage and went to lie on the couch. She heard John whisper as she lay on the couch. “What’s wrong with Tessa?” John asked. “She has her period,” Alex answered. “Does she always act like this when that happens?” Lucas asked looking scared. “No,” Alex and John said at the same time. When dinner was finished Tessa was hoping he would leave so she could crawl in a corner and cry. But he didn’t, Lucas helped clean up. He washed dishes and Kendall and Jake helped rinse and dry. They told him how good Chewy was doing with the invisible fence training and they laughed as they told him that he was no good at fetch, “Well I would love to help him with that, our last game is tomorrow, after that I will have some extra time until basketball starts,” Lucas offered. He came over to the sofa and kissed her cheek. She pretended to be asleep. “Goodnight baby, I love you,” he whispered in her ear. He said goodnight to everyone and thanked them for dinner, Chewy barked when he left. Her phone chimed. She did not smile.
- Day 7 without Tessa Ross has been odd. I don’t understand woman things but I’m here anytime you need me. Just like you have been for me…LYA Lucas She walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed. “Tessa, you okay?” Her dad asked. Tessa nodded, kissed John on the head, and walked up the stairs. She was emotionally drained, and the thought of going through this again tomorrow brought her to tears. Her phone chimed again, this time it was Toby. - Hello angel, I had this sudden urge to say hello lots of studying and tons of thinking of you, I hope all is well…Toby - things are alright. I miss you, when will you be home again?...Tessa - Thanksgiving, not soon enough and a very short stay…Toby - UUGGHH I can’t wait…Tessa - Sorry angel…Toby - not your fault, proud of you!...Tessa - Thanks girl, gotta go…Toby - Goodnight ..Tessa She fell asleep thinking of Toby, hoping he was for real because that’s the kind of man she wanted. Not someone who played games. Not someone she desperately wished could be who he said he was. Tessa decided to go into school after lunch the next day with the hope of avoiding Lucas. . - very worried about you baby, tell me you’re ok…LYA Lucas - I’m ok I will come in after lunch so I don’t have to miss the game…Your Bud Tessa - Ok see you then…LYA Lucas Lucas was waiting for her after practice the next day. “I know you don’t feel well but I need a hug or kiss. I am a ball of nerves right now. I want SU to pick me, and I want to be close to you, Tessa,” Lucas said softly. Selfish ass, Tessa thought. But she hugged him anyway. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. He kissed her head, and she wanted to fall apart right there. Lucas lifted her chin and lightly kissed her lips, then buried his head into her neck. She knew this was the last time she would be hugging him. I am going to leave him wanting more, she thought, pulling back. He looked at her, she kissed him and he relaxed, he pulled her bottom lip and she willingly let him in. It was a gentle exploration by him. She didn’t reciprocate. “There he is,” she heard little voices yell. Lucas smiled. “Time to meet the family.” He turned around and knelt down, and they jumped in his arms. He smiled. “I missed you two very much.” He set them down. “Lucas, is this your princess?” Ally asked. “One of the three,” he said. Or four or thirteen, she thought. She smiled at them. “Hello, Ally and Alexandra. I’m Tessa.” She smiled at them and extended her hand. “She’s beautiful,” Alexandra said to Lucas.
“And you both are too. And very sweet,” Tessa laughed. “Where’s the doggy that’s always with you?” Ally asked. “What?” Tessa giggled. Lucas laughed. “Chewy’s at her house. He doesn’t go to school yet. He’s too young.” Lucas looked so happy, so innocently happy. She loved this Lucas, the one without walls or that dirty mind racing. She started feeling a knot forming in her throat. “Tessa, this is my father, Landon, and my step mother, Audrianna,” he said. Lucas’s father looked like she imagined Lucas would in twenty years; handsome and tall with dark clean cut hair and amazing green eyes. And Audrianna was beautiful. She had gray eyes and straight blonde hair. Tessa smiled. “Pleasure to meet you.” His father looked her up and down, making her feel like she was being judged at the county fair. Audri hugged her. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Tessa. It’s nice to put a face to the name of the girl who has made Lucas so happy.” “Thank you.” She managed to smile. “She’s beautiful, Lucas,” Landon said, smiling. “Good job, son. Would you like to join us for a small dinner before the game, Tessa?” “No, thank you,” Tessa said softly. Landon looked annoyed. “Tessa hasn’t been feeling well for the past couple days,” Lucas said. “She just got done with hockey practice. She should probably go home and rest before the game. You are coming to the game right baby?” Lucas asked. Big girl pants, Tessa she thought. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” “She’s not pregnant is she Lucas?” Landon asked bluntly. Tessa’s eyes widened and she looked down. “Dad,” he said and gave him a nasty look and whispered, “quite the opposite.” Holy shit Tessa thought, he just told his father I have my period. “Okay you three we have managed to make Tessa uncomfortable in less than five minutes, let’s get in the car and wait for Lucas,” she hugged Tessa, “I am so sorry for that, he can be such an ass,” she whispered in her ear. Tessa smiled. “No need to apologize.” “I want you to know that he loves you and I see him finally, he hasn’t had the best role models. Thank you.” Audrianna kissed her cheek and took the girls’ hands. “Well hello, Landon, Audrianna, girls,” Sadi said, approaching them. “I see you’ve met the farm girl,” she said. “No offense, Tessa.” “None taken, Sadi,” Tessa sneered. “Sadi, you look beautiful,” Landon smiled. “And you, Mr. Links are hot as hell, as always” they laughed. Lucas looked at Audrianna and narrowed his eyes. “Let’s go girls,” she smiled. “She isn’t a princess Tessa,” Ally whispered to Tessa. Tessa bent down to hug her, “She’s a nasty old troll.” Both girls laughed and hugged her. “Will you bring the doggy tonight?” Ally sweetly asked. Tessa smiled. “I don’t know. He may be very busy doing doggy stuff, but I will certainly ask him,” “Don’t be long, Lucas. Girls, let’s go. Nice to meet you, Tessa,” Landon said as he turned and walked toward the car.
“Sorry about that, baby,” Lucas said and hugged her. “The girls love you almost as much as I do.” She didn’t respond. “I hope you feel better soon. Can we get together after the game?” “Maybe, if you win.” She smiled at him. “She smiles, thank God.” Lucas kissed her. His father honked the horn breaking up the kiss. “See you tonight.” He reached into his bag and grabbed his away Jersey, then handed it to her. “Will you wear this tonight?” Hell no, she thought. “Sure Lucas, anything for you.” He kissed her again and walked away. Damn it, she thought, why do I feel like I have to walk on egg shells for this dick! Only a few more hours she told herself. *** Tessa brought a chair to sit on the lawn so that no one at the game would be tripped up by the ball of fur. She had called the pet store and found out how much each item had cost so she could pay Lucas back, and she put the money in an envelope with a note thanking him for the gift. The game was awesome. Another shut out by the boys in blue. Jake grabbed Chewy’s leash and headed for the field at the end of the game. He dropped the leash and the little fuzz ball took off through the crowd. Tessa jumped up and tried to help Jake and Kendall catch him, but the little traitor ran right to Lucas. He was pulling at Lucas’s laces when Tessa got there, and Lucas’s sisters were all over Chewy, laughing as he licked their faces. “Sorry about that,” Tessa said. “I think he was excited to meet you both. I told him all about the two pretty princesses.” “That was an awesome game, boys,” the man with the SU jacket said and he shook Alex, Tommy, and Lucas’s hands. “How long have you three played together?” “Tommy and I played together all through high school, our schools merged, and we started playing with Alex this fall. Alex, this is your first year playing right?” he asked. Alex shook his head yes, “Unbelievable right?” Lucas said to the scout. “None of you play like high school students. You boys are amazing,” he said, “Mr. Links, thank you for the call. By the way how are your grades?” Again Lucas spoke, “All national honor society, but Alex is second in our class so far, until I beat him… that is,” he said smiling. “Amazing, so you play basketball?” he asked, all three nodded their heads yes, “Don’t go getting injured. You’ll be hearing from me soon,” and he walked away. Tessa hugged Alex and he spun her around. John and Maggie were there with the kids. Next to them was Lucas’s family. “Alex is it?” Landon said. “You did great. How you know Tessa?” he asked with a slight scowl. “She’s my sister, sir,” Alex answered. “Oh, ok,” Landon relaxed. “Thank you for getting him here,” Alex said, nodding to the SU recruiter walking away. “No problem,” Landon smiled. Lucas was staring at Tessa, she leaned toward him. “Good game rock star.” He picked her up and kissed her. “My parents,” she reminded him. “Oh, sorry Tessa.” Lucas put her down and kept her hand in his. “Dad, Audrianna, this is John and Maggie Ross, Tessa and Alex’s parents, this is Kendall and Jake and Molly isn’t here, they are Tessa’s family. This is my father Landon, step mother Audrianna, and these two are Princesses Ally and Alexandra.” Lucas’s sisters smiled and curtsied. “How do you do?”
“Very well, thank you.” Kendall curtsied and laughed. They stayed and chatted for a few minutes. As they talked and the kids played with the dog. Lucas pulled Tessa to the side, away from the crowd of chatting family. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?” his gaze immediately dropped to her chest. “Not that,” she said. “Tessa, you’re not wearing a bra,” he said, smiling and pulling her into him. “And damn you feel good,” he said as he ran his fingers up and down her back. He felt so good against her. She was going to miss this. Take it while you can, she thought, and leave him wanting more. She wrapped her arms around him and finally relaxed. She closed her eyes and held on tight. Lucas kissed her head. Tessa looked up at him and kissed him. She was lost in a very soft and sweet kiss when she heard her mother clear her voice. Tessa turned, and all of them were looking at Lucas and Tessa. Audrianna was smiling; Landon had a shit ass grin on his face. Tessa’s parents, on the other hand, were not impressed. “Tessa, you’re staying with me tonight, still correct?” Maggie asked. Tessa nodded. “The kids, the dog, and I will be waiting in the car. Nice to meet you all,” she said nodding to Lucas’s family and walked away. Tessa looked at Lucas and smiled. His head was down and he was looking up at her through those dark lashes, trying not to laugh. He was so damn beautiful; she took the hair tie from the back of his Jersey and smiled as she had planned in her head. “You have another one of these besides the one you have on?” she asked as seductively as she knew how. He nodded. “You should give them to your little princesses, armor for what lies ahead in the years to come, from all the boys that may try to break their hearts.” She lifted the shirt over her head slowly, his eyes widened as he starred at her erect nipples. His mouth opened and he licked his lips. Tessa walked it over to him and kissed his cheek. “Be good to them. Family is always there, Lucas. Teach them that okay?” she whispered in his ear. She stood back, “Do you think your dad will be as impressed with these as he seemed to be with Sadi?” “Tessa...” he said in a deep husky voice. “Baby, you are gorgeous, and he’s just an ass.” She kissed his lips lightly. “Teach him how not to be, show him your heart, Lucas. I have to go.” She grabbed a sweatshirt out of her bag and pulled it over her head before turning toward his family. “Nice seeing you all, I have to go.” She picked up Chewy’s leash and walked away. She was gathering her stuff from the lawn where she left her chair. It was then she saw the letter she had meant to give to Lucas. “Damn it.” “Tessa, let me help you with your things,” Lucas said as he rolled up the blanket. He saw the letter sitting on her chair with his name on it. “For me?” “Yes, but open it tomorrow after they leave, okay?” Tessa asked, “Promise.” “I promise, Tessa.” He took the chair that she had bagged up, swung it over his shoulder, and grabbed the bag full of blankets and chew toys. He carried them to the car holding her other hand. “See you tomorrow,” Lucas said as he put her things in the car. Tessa got in and shut the door. “Please go, Mom.” she started to feel the burn of impending tears. They went to her Mom’s little apartment and Tessa went in to the small room and crashed on the bottom bunk. She cried quietly as she fell asleep, with Chewy curled up beside her. Her mom and the kids left her alone. *** Lucas’s family stayed with him at the house. The girls swam in the heated pool and he sat and talked to Audrianna while his dad was on his computer.
“Does Leah watch the girls a lot?” he asked his stepmother. “Only once a week when they see your Dad. Why?” Audrianna asked. Lucas told her about last year at the lake party and about his recent apology. Then he told her all about what had happened Wednesday night. “No way!” she said. “And you turned her down, Lucas?” He nodded and rolled his eyes. “Well, maybe there is a god. My little raging hormone Lucas may be growing up,” she laughed. “Could you teach your Dad that trick?” Audri and Lucas were laughing when Landon walked out. “What’s so funny?” Landon asked smiling. “Nothing,” they said at the same time. Audrianna got the girls ready for bed so they could camp in Lucas’s room. He grabbed the tent from his garage and set it up for them. He gave them each one of his Jersey’s and told them Tessa had said they were armor against evil princes. The three of them sat in the small tent, and Audri took their picture with the same camera she had snapped hundreds of photos with all day. Lucas gave her his phone and she took one for him. *** Tessa’s phoned woke her up. - Day 8 without Tessa Ross has been interesting, the whole meeting the family thing was different, lol, my sisters love you and that makes me happy, Audri adores you and has threatened me with my manhood not to screw you up, and thanks to the gifts God gave you up front (The girls Baby), I think you may have won my dad over, regardless of all the amazing events of today it is you I find myself still in awe of, btw no pressure but you could start your pills Sunday, ……LYA Lucas Attached was a picture of him and the girls in a tent. She wondered how Lucas’s mom was taking their visit. - Hey how is your Mom doing? Is she okay with them staying there? …YB Tessa - She’s away, get some sleep baby, we need to talk tomorrow…LYA Lucas - I am spending tomorrow with Mom and the kids and tomorrow night is Girls night bud, I don’t feel well, I will talk to you tomorrow at some point, going to sleep now, great game today! ENJOY YOUR FAMILY!!!...Tessa Tessa had no idea how Lucas could say the things to her that he did after all the things he did behind her back. The way he touched her, looked at her, and made her feel was all an act, but tomorrow it ended for good. Chewy whined as she started to cry so Tessa took him out for a walk. When she came back to the apartment, her mom was waiting. “Tessa, please know you can talk to me about anything, whatever it is that’s going on, I want to help you through it.” Tessa cried. “It’s just a mess, Mom.” Maggie hugged her and let her talk. “He says all the right things, and he has changed. I mean, his heart has changed. He loves those little girls and he loves me, but look...” she showed her mother the pictures and then went through and showed her again, pointing out the
reflections. She played her mother the voice mail massage and cried. Her mom cried, too. “Tessa, have you…” Maggie started. “No Mom, I haven’t, and I’m so glad I didn’t, but the night I saw you at dinner, I got wasted right in the restaurant while I watched Dr. Feelgood rub your hand.” She told her mother what she’d done after they left the restaurant. She could see her mother trying to hold back her anger but didn’t stop. “Mom have you slept with him?”
“Of course not, Tessa! Dating him is bad enough. I feel horrible. It’s just that your father and I...” She stopped. “We’ll talk someday about that, but for now, it’s about you. I’m so sorry you have been hurt. And I’m proud of you.” They fell asleep on the couch, Tessa’s head on her mother’s lap.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN In the morning, Lucas, Alexandra and Ally woke up and headed to the pool. The girls loved that it was heated and they could swim in New York in October. They splashed and swam and laughed. Landon was cooking breakfast when Audrianna came down the stairs. Landon smiled at her. “Good Morning Audri. You look beautiful.” “I feel great; the first time in almost four years that I have slept for eight hours straight. And look at you! Who knew you could cook.” she said laughing and finally looked up at him. She blinked her eyes blinked as she tried to not allow herself to get emotional. “I miss you, Audri,” slipped out of his mouth. Audri shook her head no and turned to walk away, “I am going out to take some pictures. When do you want them out for breakfast?’ “I’ll bring it out.” Audri walked outside and took several deep breaths and tried to shake off the feelings she knew would only lead to pain and regret. Audri took tons of pictures. “Hey Audri can you grab m ...” She already had his phone in her hand. “Got it Lucas,” she said, laughing. Landon brought out breakfast, and the kids got out and dried off. Audrianna gave them each a robe to keep warm. Lucas could see how his Dad looked at Audri. He grinned and looked down and glanced at Audrianna, she smirked and shook her head and he laughed. “What’s so funny?” Ally asked. Lucas’s dad looked at him and he winked, his dad turned red. Lucas laughed again, he had never seen him blush and Audrianna laughed too, in seconds they all laughed. Lucas and Audrianna were cleaning up the mess in his room while his father was helping the girls shower for the first time. “Audri, make him work for it. He loves you, but make him earn it, and he will be yours forever.” “I don’t know, Lucas. I can’t fall apart. I have the girls, and now I think I have you, too.” She smiled. “Whatever you do, Audri, I want to be part of their lives. Thank you for bringing them into my life,” Lucas said softy. They heard the girls streak down the hall. Landon was following them with towels. He was soaked and chuckled. Audri laughed and he tossed her a towel. She had them both wrapped up and headed to the room to change. “What are you thinking, Dad?” “I’m thinking I screwed up Lucas,” he said, still laughing. “Then fix it,” Lucas said, “and give her time.” “My son giving me better advice on women than even my father gave me? How did that happen?” Landon asked. “Tessa, Dad. It was Tessa.” Lucas helped them load the car and they pulled away waving. They would be seeing each other again soon. He went to shower and get ready to go see his mom. *** Tessa pushed her scrambled eggs around her plate, unable to eat. She was dreading the conversation she would be having later with Lucas.
Her mom told her to, “get showered we are going shopping”. Tessa spent the day shopping with her mother, Jake and Kendall. They each got some new things, then shared a light lunch before heading home Tessa had left her phone in the car and had a missed call and a message from Lucas. - Hey baby when can you squeeze me in, I need Tessa time?...LYA Lucas He attached the picture of them all jumping in the pool. - Leaving the mall now, will text you in a bit…Tessa Tessa got out of the car after hugging her family. “Have fun with the girls tonight. Call me if you need anything, “ Maggie said giving her an extra kiss. Tessa was glad her dad didn’t tell her mom that he and Alex would be making a delivery tonight, she wanted to be crazy with her girls. She took a deep breath; she couldn’t believe this was it. - So I love the way you are with them and I know they love you. Your stepmother is very sweet. And you are a rock star on the field. SU? Great job! I don’t know how to say this, because it’s not like we are dating but we need a break Lucas. I have been holding this together for two days for you because regardless of what has happened I need you to be okay. I ask, no beg you to be ok. You Lucas Links, have come a long way from the obnoxious ass that I met two months ago. Please, please give me some space, let me be strong, if you ever loved me, let me heal so that someday we can be true friends…Tessa She cried after she sent the message. A minute later, her phone rang. She declined his call. - Tessa Ross what is going on? I thought things were going well, I’m very confused baby, especially after being reimbursed for Chewy. He was a gift, is this a female thing? Please call me….LYA Lucas - Please Lucas I don’t have it in me today, and I don’t even have my period, please let it be…Tessa. - Fuck that Tessa! I have changed for you, what kind of games are you playing with me now? The Tessa I fell head up my ass in love with would not be so cold, is it GI Joe? Come on baby give me something….LYA Lucas - Nothing to do with Toby, look at the pictures you sent me, who was she? I think the call I have on my voice mail said Leah? She had on your shirt and nothing else in the bed picture and was in the mirror of the first photo. I assume she took the hot tub shot. Look at them LUCAS!!? I have for three fucking days now. I respected you enough to make sure to not stress or worry you so you could get through your game, and your family being here. I kissed you for crying out loud, for you, even though it tore me apart knowing what you did. Because Lucas I do care, but I need you to give me the same respect I have given you. I am begging you. Let me heal. In case you don’t remember eight days ago I found Sadi in your hot tub, and now Leah? That’s two, I won’t give you three. She pushed send and then immediately typed another message.
- hey everyone I’m turning off the cell for a much needed break from reality. It’s girls night, if you need me call the home phone….Tessa Tess looked at her phone and took a deep breath; SEND ALL. Jade pulled in fifteen minutes later; Uncle Jack waved to Tessa as he pulled out. Tessa ran to Jade crying and hugged her. She told her all about what had happened and showed her the pictures. Then she let her listen to the voice mail. “Okay Tessa, you are going to be fine. I’m here and we will keep very busy.” Jade filled Becca and Phoebe in when they got there. “Road trip?” Phoebe asked. “I’m not joking I wanna kick his ass.” They all laughed. “No, but Becca, you’ll have to excuse me because I’m going to drink my face off tonight,” Tessa said. “Tessa, that’s not a good idea” Becca said. “I think it is,” Jade said. “Whatever Tessa needs. And hey, we have the house to ourselves, a hot tub, and music.” “Yeah, lets rock this joint,” Phoebe yelled. They all laughed and Tessa grabbed two bottles of wine out of the cupboard. *** Lucas listened to the voice mail. “Damn it,” he yelled. He looked at the pictures and could absolutely understand how she would think he’d been with Leah. He had so much to tell her. It could all be easily explained if she would just listen. He started to think about his mother and how much of a mess she was when he took her to Tully Hill rehabilitation center today, and how she had cried and begged him not to leave her there for three months. Then he thought about the holidays, and it was suddenly all too much. He opened the top drawer of his dresser and grabbed his trusty little pipe. It was already packed, and he lit it and breathed deeply in. *** The girls were dancing and acting silly and decided to hit the hot tub. Tessa was the first to take off her suit and toss it on the ground. “Tessa, that is sinful,” Becca gasped. “Why, Becca Brooks, I don’t think God would think so. I wasn’t born with my clothes on,” Jade said, stripping down. They all joined in and laughed. *** Lucas woke and took another hit. He wasn’t going to let this go. He showered and changed, brushed his teeth, and threw on some clothes. He took a couple more hits and put his bowl under his sink. Then he grabbed his white hat and walked out the door. Lucas heart beat against his chest as his anxiety grew about how she would feel when he told her the truth. He was ready to tell her everything. The good, the bad, and the fucked up. He messed up with Sadi. Not by choice but by circumstance. He pushed the accelerator needing to get to her. Needing to know if she would understand the things that happened and move forward. He reached down to adjust the radio. He looked up just as he was heading off the road. He overcorrected and his car did a 360 and hit a tree. “Son. Son, wake up. Open your eyes.” Lucas opened his eyes and lifted his head off of the steering wheel. “Just sit back, the ambulance will be here soon.” He was taken in the ambulance to the hospital where he was given a breathalyzer and passed. The
police officer asked him if he was the quarterback from the newspaper. “Yeah that’s me” he smiled. “You have someone to call?” the officer asked. “An adult. I need to talk to someone. Do you understand, Mr. Links?” He called Tommy and asked if he could talk his parents into letting Lucas stay with them, again. Or at least say they would. Tommy remembered last time and knew there was no way in hell he would ask. He decided to call Alex. Alex and his father had left last night instead of this morning and were about thirty minutes away. John agreed to stop and get Lucas. When John and Alex arrived at the hospital Tommy was walking in, too. They talked to the nurse at the desk and she showed them to Lucas’s room. Lucas pulled his hat down over his eyes as they walked in. Shit, Lucas thought. “John,” the sheriff said. They shook hands. “Mr. Links, was in a bit of an accident and has a concussion; he needs an adult to take him home.” “We can do that,” John said. “You alright son?” “Yes, sir,” Lucas said. “Well, not exactly. He passed the breathalyzer, but I’m not convinced. However when I talked to the judge he said he would rather not come in and deal with this on a Saturday night. He also said he wants Lucas to kick ass in sectionals. Our problem lies here; his mother is in rehab for the next three months, and he needs supervision until he’s nineteen. You willing to take him on, John?” “Yes, I am,” John said. “He can stay with us.” “Mr. Ross, I appreciate it, but your daughter is going to be pissed off,” Lucas said, laughing. “Never mind Tessa. I’ll deal with it. Let’s go.” *** The girls were laughing as they saw Chewy taking their swimsuits, they had not noticed until he had the last one. They saw headlights pulling in the driveway. “Oh shit, get out and run, someone is pulling in.” They all jumped out laughing hysterically as they streaked across the yard. “Damn it, it’s my dad!” Tessa yelled. “Oh boy, Tommy is behind him,” Jade laughed her fool head off as she went in the house. The girls ran upstairs. *** “What the hell was that all about?” John asked Alex. “Dad, I have no idea,” he said and started to laugh. Damn Phoebe is fine he thought. “Holy shit Lucas did you see that?” Tommy asked. “Hell yes,” Lucas said laughing, “it’s going to be an interesting night,” he laughed until he saw John’s face in the window. “You boys forget what you saw,” John said sternly. “Yes sir,” Lucas looked down. They walked in the kitchen and saw two empty bottles of wine. John shook his head. “Tessa Ross, get your ass dressed and get down here. Now. The rest of you too!” he yelled. Lucas sat with the rest of the boys at the table looking down all trying to hide the big smirks on their
faces when the girls walked in in their pajamas. “What the hell is he doing here?” Tessa looked at Lucas and then her father and put her hands on her hips. “Tessa, sit your ass down and keep your mouth shut,” John snapped. “No. Why are you home and why is he here?” she said and stomped her foot. The boys all chuckled. Tessa gave them a dirty look. “Tessa, you are to sit now,” John yelled and slammed his fist on the table. “I am going to talk, and you, have a lot of explaining to do, so I certainly wouldn’t start sassing me young lady.” Tessa scowled and looked down. She sat on Jade’s lap. “Jade, should I call my brother?” John asked. “No Uncle John, please don’t,” Jade said quietly. “First of all, Lucas will be staying with us for a while, possibly for three months until his mother is out of rehab. He was in an accident and was released with conditions, one of them being that he has supervision. Tessa will have to deal with it. I’ve already given my word,” John said. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Daddy,” she said. “I might kill him in his sleep.” “You were both fine at the game. What the hell has changed? You know what, never mind. Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring. Lucas will sleep — .” “Speaking of sleep, what kind of sleeping arrangements will we have here? You shouldn’t want him under the same roof as me,” she snapped. “Tessa, shut up,” Alex said warning her. “NO!” Tessa yelled. “Tessa enough,” John said. “No.” She started to cry. “Tessa, don’t cry — .” “Shut up Lucas! Just shut up! “Both of you knock it off. You need to make a phone call, Lucas. I will have some explaining to do with Maggie in the morning.” Lucas stood up and walked outside. “Hey Audrianna, this is Lucas, you still with Dad, oh ok…can you do me a favor? Thanks I kind of got in an accident tonight, no I am fine, I already went to the hospital and everything was fine. No Tessa’s father came and picked me up. Well the cop and the judge both are football fans so I got out of a lot of trouble. No it wasn’t alcohol… you really want to know? Okay good, can you call dad in the morning before the insurance company does? Thanks so much. One more thing could you call Tessa in an hour and let her know what I told you about Leah, yes everything, well she’s avoiding me I will explain, later. Ok thanks are the girls awake? Ok can I talk to them in the morning? Thanks Audri, you too.” When Lucas walked back in John pointed to the empty chair and then looked at Tessa. “Now, what the hell are you four thinking tonight?” “Well, I thought I was in love with that boy over there. I forgot his name, but the one right there,” she slurred, pointing and scowling. “And the night I saw mom at dinner, I got drunk on our date. It wasn’t the stomach bug. I was a bad girl — .” “Tessa, enough,” Alex said. “Lucas, is that true?” John asked. “Yes sir, but I got her home to Alex,” Lucas looked at Tessa and widened his eyes as if to say, what the hell are you doing? “Tessa, is that true?” John asked. “Yes, but there’s more, Dad. I kiss him a lot and I like it,” she said obnoxiously. Her dad looked at her confused and Lucas sat back and covered his face partially with one hand.
“And when I wanted to go out with my friends, he was pissed, and we brought him dinner and Sadi’s head popped out of the water because she was giving him a blow job,” Tessa snarled at him.. “Is that true, Lucas?” John asked. “Yes sir, the night I came home and found my mom on the floor, I called the ambulance. Sadi’s cousin is on the ambulance squad. They took Mom to the hospital. When I came home I smoked pot and sat in the hot tub. I woke up to your daughter’s voice and Sadi coming up from out of the water. I assume Sadi’s cousin called her,” Lucas explained. “None of that shit goes on in my house.” John stopped and rubbed his head a appeared to be trying to calm himself down. “Seeing your mom like that must have been rough, Lucas. I am sorry. But you shouldn’t be smoking that stuff,” John scolded him. Tessa looked at the floor. “Oh, and he went to his dad’s house and had sex with Leah when he told me he loved me.” Tessa quit while you’re ahead, Lucas thought and laughed. “It’s not funny, asshole.” “Tessa watch your mouth. Lucas this is my daughter. Is what she said true?” John asked. “No sir. I had sex with her a year or so ago. She happens to be my sister’s babysitter, and she got wet while helping them shower. She asked for a shirt to change into — Audri insisted she stay since it was the first overnight they’d with my father since he and Audri spilt — and I gave her mine. I fell asleep thinking of Tessa and woke up to someone kissing me. I stopped it as soon as I realized it wasn’t Tessa. Apparently my ass hit the phone and called,” Lucas said looking down. “Tessa, do you have any other questions you need answered?” her father asked. “Yes! Were you drunk or high?” Tessa snapped. “I had a few drinks with my dad at the country club, and he drove us home,” Lucas said. “That’s probably why it took me a few minutes to wake up.” “Well, maybe you have a problem with alcohol,” Tessa yelled at him and hiccupped. Everyone laughed, and she put her face on Jade’s shoulder and cried. “Lucas, I think you’ve turned away more than I have had in a year.” “Dad that’s not funny” Tessa yelled at him. “No nonsense under this roof, do you understand?” John asked. “Yes, sir,” Lucas said. “Girls, why are you drinking?” John asked “Cause Tessa was sad and wanted to, Uncle John,” Tessa glared up at her. “And we wanted to. We stayed here no one drove. We won’t do it again.” “Why where you in the hot tub naked?” John asked. The boys burst out laughing, “Boys, enough.” “Well Mr. Ross, nudity isn’t really that bad unless it’s for sex that’s not between husband and wife,” Becca tried to explain. “Really, Rebecca?” he asked. “Jade had a point; we weren’t born with clothes on,” Becca said quietly. “Alex I’m done with this for tonight. Can you make sure everyone stays clothed and doesn’t drink anymore?” John asked as he walked toward his room. Tessa who stood up and went to the bathroom. When she came out, the TV was on. Alex looked at Tessa and shook his head in disappointment. The only place left to sit was next to Lucas. She sat on the floor instead. Lucas picked her up and sat her next to him. She let him. “Are we okay?” Lucas asked. “You’re a freaken hero, and I am a whore,” Tessa pouted. Lucas laughed. “I think we know better than that. Where is your phone?” “In the kitchen on the counter. Why?” Tessa asked.
“Audri is going to call you, just in case you don’t believe the Leah thing. She knows about it, and I want to tell you, Audri likes you a lot,” Lucas smiled. Chewy came in and dropped her bathing suit bottom on his lap. “That’s my boy,” Lucas giggled and bent down to pet him. Everyone laughed. “Tessa, you believe me, don’t you?” “Yes,” she said. “I just feel like an ass, and I am loa- ded.” “I would have thought the same thing, Tessa. I just wish you’d asked me,” Lucas said. “Why didn’t you tell me about your Mom?” she asked. “I didn’t want you to pity me. I wanted you to love me for me, not because I was a cause,” Lucas said. “We all have things that we could do without in our lives, right guys?” Tessa asked wanting Lucas to feel like he was not alone. “I do. My mom is a junky,” Jade laughed. “I was almost raped by two different foster kids,” Becca blurted out. They all gasped. “My dad shot my mom and then himself, in front of me,” Phoebe laughed. They all looked at her. “Please don’t tell anyone it’s rather embarrassing,” she whispered. Alex pulled her closer and hugged her. “My family is a mess right now, and I’m no better,” Tessa said breaking the silence. Everyone looked at Tommy. “I have a huge penis.” They all laughed. Jade looked at him and then around the room. She looked down at his crotch and then back up at him and blushed. A sly smile started creeping across Tommy’s face and then he winked at her. She shook her head back and forth “He’s not joking, Jade. He’s unbelievably well endowed,” Lucas said. “How do you guys know? You hang out naked together? Gross,” Tessa said, immediately regretting it. “This coming from the streaker.” Lucas laughed, “I bet it was your idea.” “It was,” the girls all said at once. “I love your curiosity,” Lucas whispered in her ear. “I love you,” Tessa whispered. Lucas cradled her face and kissed her. “No hands, man,” Alex reminded him. Lucas let go and raised his hands in the air. Chewy whined and Tessa stood to take him out. “Come with me,” she said taking his hand. “Be good. I promised Dad.” Alex scowled at Tessa. “Maybe they don’t want to be,” Phoebe said, looking at Alex. “Maybe I don’t want to be.” She kissed him. He slowly kissed her, he put his hand on her back and pulled her closer to him. Thankful for Phoebe’s distraction Tessa nodded to the door and smiled at Lucas. As soon as they were out the door Tessa jumped on Lucas, wrapping her legs and arms around him. He walked to the back deck and sat on the picnic bench as he kissed her. “Tessa, we need better communication,” he said breathing deeply. “Not now, please. I have missed your lips, your arms, your eyes. God I want you now,” Tessa said. She kissed him, unable to control herself. Their tongues swiftly met one another’s. She could feel him beneath her and she wanted him. She stood and pulled off his shirt. “God, you are gorgeous.” She sat back on his lap, bit his lip, and kissed every inch of his face, then moved to his neck and chest. He moaned, and when she looked up at him, he looked like he was in pain. She moved back up to his mouth. He lifted her up off him. “Tessa baby, no drunk sex with you, and not here.” She stomped her foot and he laughed. “That’s twice I have seen that move tonight. I kind of like it.” He smiled, “Tessa Ross? Will you be my girlfriend now and forever?” “Lucas Links, promise to never shatter me again. No more drinking. That can’t happen again Lucas. If
that’s all it took to allow her back in your life than you cant, ever.” “I wasn’t just drunk Tessa. I was fucked up, so fucked up. I swear I had no idea she was the one in the hot tub. Fuck if you knew what it was like walking in my house finding mom — .” “Okay,” she hugged him. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that. I am so sorry.” “She had a fucking needle in her arm this time — .” “I love you Lucas. I’m so sorry. Just please talk to me okay. Third time would not be a charm.” “I won’t Tessa, ever,” Lucas promised. “Then yes, forever,” she smiled. She thought of Toby and her smile disappeared. “What’s wrong, Tessa?” he asked rubbing his fingers slowly up and down her side. “Toby,” Tessa said quietly. “He’s a good guy,” Lucas said. Tessa was shocked. “What? I’m not stupid,” he laughed. “I just feel awful. He has never done anything but show me kindness,” she said. “And then there’s you.” “What?” he asked. “Well Lucas, you really didn’t do anything either except not communicate with me and the stuff with your Mom. I’m so sorry.” Tears formed in her eyes. “I’m a bitch.” He laughed. “What’s so funny?” she asked. “You’re drunk, Tessa, and you’re kind of funny.” “You’re stoned, so probably everything is funny,” she said. They both laughed. “What is my dad thinking, letting you stay here?” “I don’t know, but I am grateful; you get to do my laundry and cook for me.” “You wish,” she pushed on his chest. “No really it’ll be like being married but without the sex,” Lucas laughed. “By the sound of my Dad tonight, it’s exactly like being married.” They both laughed harder. She straddled his lap and hugged him. “I love you, Lucas Links.” “No more, Toby. I won’t share you.” Lucas lifted her chin. Tessa nodded. “He’s my friend though, Lucas. I can’t just…” “I don’t get the whole friends with the opposite sex thing. It pisses me off, but I want to understand. Let me ask you a few questions. Does he get to do this?” His finger tips lightly ran across against her pebbled nipples. She shook her head. “These are mine, right, baby?” He bowed his head and nipped them through her shirt. She whimpered and pushed into him. “God, yes.” “Let me clarify, baby; whose are these?” He rolled his teeth gently across them. “Yours, Lucas. They’re yours,” Tessa gasped. “Perfect. I really love them.” Lucas kissed her lips savagely as his hand moved up her pajama shorts. He rubbed her thigh. Tessa’s head fell back as his fingers lightly rubbed her silky panties. “Baby, whose is this?” Tessa rocked her hips into his finger and groaned when her rubbed harder. “Mine. Oh God... yours, Lucas. I am yours.” “Your panties are damp, baby.” He pulled his hand out of her pajamas and sucked his finger, then pushed up her pajamas again. “Not wet enough baby. You’re drunk and I’m high… I promised no drunk sex with you, but I could still make you come, fucking you with my finger. Would you like that?” He rubbed her panties harder, and she moaned louder. “Whose is this baby? Whose hot little pussy is this?” “Yours, Lucas. Only yours.” She took her hand and rubbed his bulging erection. “And this is mine.” “Someday soon, it’s going to be all yours.” His finger dipped underneath her panties. She quivered as
she felt the burn. “This is mine, too. I am claiming it right now.” Lucas rubbed across her clit. She yelled out. “Shhh, baby, keep quiet. I want to play right here for a long time.” He stroked her clit and she moaned loudly as she rocked into him. “Tessa, you out here?” Alex called from the window. “Be in in a minute,” Tessa closed her eyes and let out a frustrated breath. “I love you, baby.” Lucas kissed her and stood up. “Walk in front of me, please.” “Okay,” she whispered and nuzzled her head into his neck. “Fuck I can’t wait to be buried inside of you.” She leaned up and kissed him. “We have to go in.” He smiled, “I know.” They sat quietly in the living room staring into each other’s lust filed eyes. No words were spoken but it was clear to both of them what they wanted.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN John walked out of his room, what the hell was he thinking? He asked himself. He went in the kitchen and started breakfast. “Good morning Daddy,” Tessa said and looked ashamed. “Tessa, you have church today actually all of you do, wake them up, everyone needs to get ready,” John said avoiding eye contact. “Daddy I am sorry,” Tessa tried to get him to look at her. “Oh no Tessa Ross, that look’s not going to work,” she walked toward him and hugged him, “Okay that may help.” She took the spatula and started cooking, “Fine just don’t do it again!” John snapped. He heard the kids laugh in the other room, he shook his head in frustration. They all walked out, “Good morning John.” None of them could keep their eyes off one another, and John rolled his eyes. *** After church, Tessa took Lucas to get some clothes from his house. “Come help me?” he asked. “Sure,” Tessa smiled as she got out of the truck. “Why where you looking at me so weird at the church?” Lucas asked when she walked out of his closet with some clothes in his hand. Tessa smiled. “Did it make you uncomfortable?” “Kind of. What’s going on?” “I don’t know, there’s just something about you that’s different.” “Okay,” Lucas said, looking confused. “Two days ago I was a wreck, and now you’re living with us,” she said softly. She handed him some clothes. “You okay with that?” he asked. “I don’t know. It’s going to be weird, don’t you think?” Tessa asked, walking back into his closet. “A little bit, especially because I think everything you do is hot, even the foot stomping thing last night…” he began. “Twice.” They said it at the same time, then laughed. She looked up at him and smiled. Damn, those green eyes showed everything when he let them. He looked at her and ran his hands nervously through his hair. She looked away. “You going to miss this big bed?” she asked, “I mean, my house isn’t like this.” “Are you going to miss this big bed?” Lucas asked, picking her up and throwing her in it. She laughed and he jumped on her. “Nice.” Tessa kissed him. There was something different in the way his kiss felt now; soft and gentle, more playful than before. She laughed. “Something funny, Tessa?” Lucas asked. “I don’t know.” She laughed harder. He sat up and looked at her. “You’re being silly.” “Sorry,” she said. “I just feel different; you kiss me differently now.” “How so?” he asked, looking embarrassed.
“It’s sweeter.” “Oh,” he scowled. “Was last night sweet?” She shook her head and swallowed hard. “Maybe that’s what you want now?” She giggled as Lucas kissed her neck. “Not to ruin the moment, but it is nice, like you are less guarded, or you’re not in a hurry,” Tessa said, trying to make him less uncomfortable. “Okay. Weird to hear, but good. “ Lucas said. “It’s not like you’re in a rush, or like you want to tear off my clothes and bend me over the bed right now. It’s like you can enjoy it, and well... I don’t know.” She rolled over and buried her face in the pillow. “Tessa, I absolutely want to tear your clothes off and bend you over the bed. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re less guarded, maybe you trust me a little more. You’re definitely more relaxed. Maybe you finally believe me when I say I love you,” he said quietly as he wrapped his arms around her. Her phone rang. It was her father. “Your Mom will be here in an hour, Tessa. You need to be here as well.” “I will. We will.” She smiled and hung up. “That was my dad,” she said, sitting up. “My mom’s coming over.” “Oh, boy.” Lucas looked down and grabbed his bags. “Okay, so you know how Jade and Tommy have their six month rule?” “Yeah, I hear his countdown almost daily,” Lucas laughed. “I think we should pick a date. That way there is no pressure, but we know it’s going to happen,” Tessa said. “Okay,” he chuckled. “How about tomorrow?” She laughed. “Tomorrow it is.” His jaw dropped. “No, seriously. Let’s pick a date.” “How do you just pick a date, Tessa?” he asked. “How will that be at all romantic or spontaneous? You know the stuff you girls like.” “Okay, then,” she said. “Well, we better get going. My mom will be at the house soon.” She started to stand and he grabbed her and pulled her onto him. “What’s an acceptable amount of time, Tessa Ross?” he asked, trying not to smile. “I don’t know.” Tessa scowled and looked away. “Do you need this date?” Lucas asked, serious now. “Yes, actually. I think I do,” she said, still annoyed. She wasn’t sure why, maybe it was because she needed to know it wouldn’t happen too soon, or maybe she just needed to know that it would happen someday. He grabbed her face and turned it back to him. “What are you thinking? Honestly, I want to know.” “Well, lots of things. Like maybe I need to know because I’m concerned you won’t be able to wait that long for me,” Tessa said. “Or that you actually don’t want me.” “How can you think I don’t want you after last night?” Lucas asked. “I don’t know,” she pouted, “maybe because I’ve offered it up, on a silver platter as you said, and you turn me down.” “Well you were drunk, baby. I don’t want you to hate me,” Lucas whispered. “What if I said I want you now?” she asked. “I would kiss you like this.” He gently took her face and kissed her cheek, then moved down her neck and up to her ear. He sucked her earlobe for just a second and moved down her neck, across her collarbone and up the other side to her ear. “And then I would lay you down on my bed,” Lucas whispered and gently put her down on the pillow. Lucas straddled her and pulled his shirt over his head and bent down and kissed her. “Your shirt would be next,” he whispered as he took his finger and traced
the imaginary line between her breasts down to her belly button and started to slowly un- tuck it with his fingers. She did not want him to stop. Her heart was racing. “Lucas,” she finally breathed. “My Mom.” She grabbed his hand. “And then I would hear that,” he said, sounding frustrated as he laughed deeply. “Yes, we need to pick a date. This is going to kill me.” He fell onto her and groaned. She laughed and kissed him. They got up and grabbed his bags and walked out to the truck. She drove. “Okay, any ideas?” Tessa asked, pulling out of the driveway. “I have a question first,” Lucas said. “What’s that?” Tessa asked smiling. “I think we have the kissing thing down pat, wouldn’t you say? It’s two months today. Last night we played. My finger actually rubbed your clit,” Lucas smiled. “Eww, that’s a gross word,” Tessa scrunched up her face. “Say it,” Lucas egged her on. “Say clit, Baby.” “I will not,” she tried to keep a straight face as he repeated the word several times. Finally, she started laughing. “Okay, fine. We were fucked up,” he conceded and laughed. “Starting over now.” He let out a frustrated breath. “Kissing.” She grinned. “I really like kissing you.” “Me too, baby, but there are other things that I want to do to you,” he said in a huskier voice. “Like what?” Tessa‘s heart beat faster and she swallowed hard. “Your tits, baby. They are the most perfect I have ever seen,” Lucas said softly. “Sorry, no go. I already offered, and you turned them down. They are kind of mad at you,” she laughed. “Please tell them I’m sorry,” Lucas grinned. Tessa took one hand off the wheel and lifted her shirt. “Tell them yourself,” she said grinning. She had on a blue lace bra that snapped in the front. “Tessa,” he said in a strained voice. “Don’t talk to me; talk to them,” she said. He reached his hand over and she slapped it. “You better apologize to them first. They are not that kind of girls.” “I’m very sorry, more sorry than you can imagine, that I didn’t take you up on your offer at the lake. You’re lovely, and I want nothing more than to touch you right now, skin on skin, nothing between my hands, my mouth and you. May I ?” She pulled her shirt down. “They accept your apology but want you to wait until Friday.” “I’ll take that,” he said, sitting back in the seat, breathing deeply. “What else?” she asked grinning with excitement. “I think we are good for right now, Tessa. I’d prefer to be hard when I talk to your parents. “She smiled and took his hand. “Both hands on the wheel please,” he said throwing his head back into the seat. She laughed. *** Maggie was upstairs when they walked in. “Tessa, Lucas, come up here, please,” she yelled down “Good luck,” Alex said, clearly annoyed. Maggie was screwing something into the bedroom door when they walked upstairs. “These are door alarms,” she said. “At night, John will turn them on, and in the morning he will turn them off.” “Okay, Mrs. Ross,” Lucas said. “What if we have to pee in the middle of the night?” Tessa crossed her arms and Lucas shook his head
no, hoping she would not argue. “Well, the alarm will go off, honey. That’s kind of the point,” Maggie said. She opened the door and closed it. The alarm went off and then silenced. “See? No big deal, right Lucas?” “No big deal, Mrs. Ross.” He agreed. “Tessa, your Dad filled me in on the details — all of them,” Maggie glared at her. “Lucas, I am sorry about everything you’ve gone through. I truly am, but please remember that Tessa is my daughter, and she means the world to me.” “Yes ma’am, I will.” “Alright, then. Tessa, you’ll come with me on Wednesday nights, understand?” she said. “Yes,” Tessa said softly. “I’ll see you then.” Maggie hugged Tessa and kissed her head. *** John was in the kitchen, “Do you know what you’re doing?” Maggie asked. “Do any of us Maggie?” John asked with hurt in his voice. Maggie shook her head no and tears filled her eyes. John hated to see her upset, he always had. “Maggie,” he grabbed her and hugged her and she let him. A few moments passed and Maggie looked up at him, “See you Wednesday,” she wiped her eyes and walked out the door. John’s heart sank. *** Maggie and John had set up the boy’s room. They had moved Molly’s old bed in and put up a clothes rack and a bin for Lucas to use for his clothes. Tessa was pulling his clothes out and putting them on hangers. She smiled when she grabbed a pair of black boxer briefs. She threw them across the hall to her room, and grinned at him. “What are you doing?” Lucas asked as he folded clothes and put them in the bins.. “New pajamas,” she mumbled under her breath. “I’m going to be in your pants tonight.” “What did you say?” he asked, laughing. “Do I really need to repeat myself?” Tessa smiled, looked down at his groin, and raised her eyebrow. “Please, don’t,” Lucas said in a soft deep voice. Tessa laughed and continued going through his stuff. She found his white hat and put it on his head. “The first time I saw, you this was on your head. You look so hot in white hats.” “I thought I was an arrogant ass,” Lucas said. “You were, sometimes still are, but you’ve always been a lot of fun to look at,” Tessa grinned. She grabbed his cologne, took it in her room, and sprayed her bed. Lucas followed her and jumped on her bed. “This is where you sleep every night, huh?” he asked. She nodded and jumped on him, then kissed him. He clenched his jaw. “I promised your father no hands,” he whispered quietly. “Okay,” she smiled, circling her hips on his lap as she bit her bottom lip. He started to grab her. “No hands, Mr. Links,” she said, still moving again. He put his hands in the air and stood up. She had no choice but to grab onto him. She smiled when she felt him against her. “Down girl…please.” Tessa slid down his body all the way to her knees. He stepped over her and groaned. “You’re killing me, Tessa.” She followed him across the hall and grabbed his waist. “You said ‘down girl’. I was going down.”
He took her hands and kissed them. “It’s going to be a long three months if I’m fighting this every day.” He kissed her head. She saw the pain in his eyes. “Does it hurt?” He looked at her and chuckled. “Kind of.” “Well, how? What’s it feel like?” “Like... pressure and no explosion,” Lucas said. “What does the explosion feel like?” Tessa asked grinning. “Well, for me it’s kind of like when you have to pee really bad and you have to hold it for a long time. That’s the pressure. And then when you finally go the bathroom, that feeling times twenty. Not sure what it feels like for a girl, though. But I’m sure you’ll let me know” “Deal. So next Friday, you get these,” she said, pointing to her chest. “And the next Friday I get that,” Tessa said grinning from ear to ear. “Tessa, are you two done up there?” John yelled up. “For now,” she said. Lucas closed his eyes and shook his head from side to side. Slow down, Tessa she heard her heart say. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours now?” Lucas asked. Without thinking she said, “I’m dirty when I am around you.” He looked wounded. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just feel like I’m ready to burst, like I can’t get enough, like I could eat you up over and over again. I’m scared that when we do it, it’ll be great; I mean really great,” she smiled. “But then what? The chase is over; we’ve already had sex. I am scared of that Lucas.” He hugged her. “What happens after Tessa is love. You told me that, and I know it will be true with you. I love you. I want you forever, and I don’t want to share you with anyone. I want to make you smile for the rest of our lives. So love is what happens, just a deeper version of what we have now.” He kissed her. Her head was spinning. Lucas Links, a boy with a past, with the dirty dozen, that grew up without guidance was the sweetest boy she had ever met. “You know, Tessa, I’m scared too,” he admitted. “I have been with lots of girls, and even thought I thought I was in love once, it was nothing like what I have with you. I have never felt this way, ever, about anyone, not even my parents. You want what’s best for me. You’ve even hidden your hurt to allow me to shine. And I am scared shitless that you’re going to hurt me, too. But I won’t let that happen to us. I won’t ever give you reason to doubt how I feel.” She looked at him and knew what he said was true. At that moment, she trusted him with her heart. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I will never doubt that again.” She hugged him harder. “We’d better get downstairs.” She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed his lips. *** The hunting crew was starting to pull in for the normal Sunday target practice. Already she thought. She had about two hours to get dinner before they would be in. She pulled the covered casserole dish from the cupboard and preheated the oven, Lucas was standing there, she smiled at him, “Can I help?” he asked. “Nope go shoot, I will be out when dinner is in the oven,” Tessa smiled. “That’s my girl,” Lucas said, “Cooking me dinner, that is so hot,” he said and smiled, he kissed her on the cheek and went out. Tessa got a large roast out of the freezer, and ran it under warm water thawing it to loosen the wrapping; she grabbed potatoes and peeled them. She sliced onions and celery and carrots. She got out some seasonings and threw them on top along with garlic. Everything was in the dish and she put it in the oven. Twenty minute prep ninety minutes to perfection she thought. She washed her hands and cleaned up.
She switched the laundry and looked out the window as Kendall and Jake played with Chewy. The lawn was getting pretty bad and there wouldn’t be many more days that mowing would be possible. It was one of her favorite things to do. Tessa threw on one of Lucas’s sweatshirts and went out to the shop and checked the gas in the big green machine. She added some to it. She asked the kids to take Chewy inside. She loved the sweet smell of the grass when it was freshly cut; this was the one chore she had never complained about. It took a little over an hour to finish the yard around the house. She parked the mower and went inside, it smelled great. She hadn’t remembered a time in the last two months that she had not either been stressed about her parents or Lucas. Tessa and her mother were finally getting along and Lucas was here. She didn’t have to feel guilty. She laughed thinking that this morning she woke up in his arms, they went to church together, packed his bags, and put his stuff away together. Now dinner was in the oven, he was hanging out with her family and she was mowing the lawn. Life could not get any better. Tessa turned around and Lucas was standing there leaning on the counter smiling at her. “What are you thinking?” “Guess,” if he didn’t know she wouldn’t tell him. “Is it about me,” he said walking up to her. Always she thought. “You are very full of yourself aren’t you,” she laughed. “Just hopeful I guess. You didn’t answer my question,” he hugged her. “Yes it was about you,” she let slip out. “Good, can I help with anything?” he asked as she was reaching up in the cupboard to grab plates. “Nope I want to take care of you tonight,” she smiled. Lucas pulled himself up on the counter and watched her set the table. She pulled out the roast and checked the temperature, it was done. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed a hair tie and threw her hair up and walked back into the kitchen, he still sat there smiling at her. She smirked. She walked next to him and opened the under the counter CD player and popped in the Pearl Jam CD Jade had given her. She hit number twelve and turned it up. She loved this song. She sang along to Black. She pulled the roast out and pulled it apart with a fork. She took a piece over for Lucas to taste, he opened his mouth and she put it in. Lucas quickly closed his mouth around her finger and gently sucked it. Tessa smiled and bent her finger hooking his teeth and brought his face to hers and lightly kissed his cheek. How does that happen she wondered as she felt her body tingle when he sucked her finger. She walked away and he grabbed her waist and turned her around and pulled her into him, “Dance with me?” She wrapped her arm around his neck and his hands rested on her hips. He can dance she thought, of course he could he’s amazing at everything. The song ended and she stepped away just in time as her dad and her brothers and sister came in. “Tessa you mowed that lawn and made dinner?” John asked. “Feeling guilty?” “Ha ha, Dad,” Tessa said giving him apologetic eyes. *** Tessa sat on the counter after they ate and took pictures of Lucas and Alex doing dishes. She doubted anyone at school would believe it if she told them. She pointed it out when they missed a spot and laughed when Alex got annoyed. Kendall and Jake were busy sneaking clean dishes from the cupboards and setting them up to be washed again. It took Alex and Lucas about fifteen extra dishes to realize what was going on. Tessa laughed and Alex grabbed the sprayer and soaked Tessa, Kendall, and Jake. Tessa sat on the counter laughing as they cleaned up the mess. The younger two showered and headed up to bed. Tessa ironed her clothes for the next day. Alex brought some down and she ironed his and the kids. She turned off the iron and turned around; Lucas was sitting there with his cloths. She tried to grab them.
“No, Tessa. I’ve done it myself for years. I got it.” Tessa took them. “I want to.” She thought of all the years that her mother had taken care of her and knew Lucas probably didn’t get the same growing up. She wanted to take care of him, and she decided for the next three months she would. After her shower, Tessa put on Lucas’s black boxer briefs under her nightgown. Then she put on a black knee- length robe, knowing her Dad would prefer it that way. Lucas was outside talking to his father when she came out to get a drink. She looked out the window and at him and from the looks of things he didn’t need to stress about the accident like he thought he would. He came in and looked at her, and smiled, “All is well.” “Good.” Tessa hugged him. She grabbed her physics book off the counter. “Do you have homework?” “No, but I should probably do some studying. I need to try to beat your brother out as valedictorian,” Lucas smiled. Tessa sat cross- legged on the couch with her book and a notepad. She looked over at him and he was staring at her butt. She looked down and saw he was looking at his underwear. “Nice, huh?” she asked. “Surprisingly comfortable. I like them.” She raised her eyebrows. “I like you in them,” Lucas said softly. He grabbed a pillow from the back of the couch, set it on his lap, and clenched his teeth. She laughed, and he shook his head. “Killing. Me,” he whispered. *** John was falling asleep in the chair and Tessa was on the couch. Lucas watched her as she drifted off. He liked it here with her and her family. He wondered if it would get old. She whispered his name in her sleep and he realized that it wouldn’t. Not ever. He watched her sleep until he woke her up with a kiss. “Hey baby, it’s time to go to bed,” he whispered so her father didn’t hear him. “Okay.” Tessa stretched and got up. He walked her into her room and kissed her as they stood in front of her bed. He pressed his forehead to hers, looking in her eyes, and untied her robe. He slipped it off her shoulders, lifted her nightgown, and smiled at the boxer briefs. He kissed her again. “Damn,” he whispered before walking out the door. Lucas walked down the stairs and John was waking up. “Mr. Ross I’m going to bed now, thank you for all this,” Lucas said sincerely. “Lucas — we all need help now and then, you’re a good kid, it’s not a problem,” John said. “Now get up there so I can set those alarms, or Maggie will have my hide.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN Tessa opened the door, expecting the alarm to go off. It didn’t; John had already turned them off. She walked downstairs, grabbed the crockpot, and took the pork roast out of the fridge. Then she added it to the slow cooker with a bottle of barbecue sauce. Dinner was made, she smiled as she walked away. She was stepping out of the shower when she realized she had forgotten to grab a towel. She walked carefully across the floor and slipped just as Lucas walked in. He caught her. “Forgot to lock the door, baby. Sorry, I’m not looking,” he said. “No, but I guess we don’t have to wait till Friday,” she whispered looking down at his hand on her breast. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Christ Tessa.” She grabbed the towel with her foot and dragged it to her to cover herself. He hadn’t moved his hand, and she turned her head toward him. She smiled. “Good morning, Lucas.” He slowly opened one eye and started to pull his hand away. She put her hand over his, holding it there. He froze. “Good morning, Tessa.” He leaned down and kissed her, and she moved her hand so she could feel his palm on her bare skin. She kissed him back as his fingers caressed her. She let out a small, quiet moan, and Lucas slowly caressed her breast as he kissed her softly. Tessa heard the kids walking around upstairs and pulled gently away. She stood and wrapped the towel around her. “I’ll go out — you stay.” She turned and kissed him as she walked out, trying to gather her wits. She made eggs, toast, and sausage for breakfast. She grabbed five glasses and filled them with orange juice and set them on the table. She pulled out the plates and filled them with food, everyone came out and ate. Lucas didn’t look at her; he stared down as he ate his food. Lucas cleaned off the table as Tessa got the kids lunch packed. Kendall and Jake thanked her and hugged her and ran out the door to catch the bus. Alex was in the shower. Tessa smiled at him and he smiled back. They said nothing. Alex, Lucas, and Tessa piled in the truck a bit early today. They pulled in the school parking lot and Alex and Lucas got out of the truck and Tessa left to go get Jade. *** The girls were at their locker when Tommy and Lucas came up the stairs. “Good morning pretty girl,” Tommy said as he kissed Jade. He didn’t have to ask anymore, they were in love and it was so good to see Jade smile, besides her father she had lost everything, including her mother to drugs and depression. “Hello again, Tessa,” Lucas said as he grabbed her hand and bent down to kiss her. “Hello again to you too,” she smiled as they walked down the hall. “Hey, I want to kind of keep it quiet that you’re living with us, is that ok?” “Sure but why?” Lucas asked. Sadi walked by, “Whore,” she mumbled. ‘That’s why,” she scowled following Sadi with her eyes. “If that’s what you want okay, but maybe it would shut her up.” “I seriously doubt that,” Tessa giggled.
He smiled, “Sorry Tessa,” he kissed her and she walked into class. *** The next two days flew by. School, practice, home, they kissed when they could and they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. They were in love. It seemed as nothing else mattered, except each other. Tessa went to her mother’s on Wednesday and had a good time. They went to dinner, just the two of them and talked about school, hockey, and Lucas. Tessa avoided any talk of Doctor Feel good, she didn’t want to know and Maggie knew it. Tessa’s team was going to sectionals on Saturday, Alex and Lucas had a game the same day. Maggie would go watch Tessa and John and the kids would go to Alex’s game. Friday was left wide open, she was very excited. Her phone chimed and it was Lucas - Hope everything is going alright baby, I miss you. Ok so I miss your cooking, lol. …LYA Lucas - Ha Ha Ha silly boy is that how it is going to be after just three days, I am not sure this is going to work all your expectations are exhausting, going to bed, see you at school…LYA Tessa - Tessa you know I was joking right? I miss you…LYA Lucas. - Thus the Silly boy, miss U2…LYA Tessa - The band or me…LYA Lucas - Definitely the band. GOODNIGHT…LYA Tessa Thursday morning Tessa rode the bus to school, she hadn’t done that since Alex got his license but it would have been silly for them to pick her up, too much travel. She sat with one of the girls from her team a sophomore named Katrina, “Are you dating Lucas Links still?” she asked and smiled. “Yes,” Tessa smiled back. “Everyone from our old school was in awe of him, he’s pretty good looking but the way he treated girls sucked,” Katrina said, “He’s different with you, I think he really likes you.” The bus pulled to a stop and Lucas stood with a sign that had her name on it like he was a chauffeur waiting at the airport for her, “I think so too,” Tessa laughed. She got off the bus and Lucas was smiling at her, “Good morning, Tessa Ross,” he said grinning. “Good morning.” “May I take your bag ma’am?” Lucas asked seriously. Tessa laughed, “Of course you can”, and she tossed it to him and walked away with her nose in the air. He grabbed her and turned her around, she was laughing. “I missed you,” Lucas kissed her. She kissed him back and slowly pulled away, “Yummy.” “S’mores?” Lucas asked. “Absolutely,” she said and kissed him again. Coach V walked by and cleared his throat loudly; they laughed and walked in to school hand in hand. *** Lucas was standing against a black Lexis SUV when she finished practice. “What’s going on?” she asked as she walked up to him. “Dad decided to trade my car in for this one. Nice, huh?”
“Yeah, I’d say so,” she said, nodding disapprovingly. “You don’t like it?” Lucas asked. “No, it’s awesome, but if I got high and wrecked a car, my butt would be walking,” Tessa laughed. “Yes, stellar parenting. Rewarding me for bad behavior. No wonder I’m a screw up,” Lucas laughed. Tessa hugged him tightly. “Don’t talk about yourself like that,” she said. “Let’s take it for a spin.” It had four - wheel drive, moon roof, and three row seating, the first two with captain’s chairs. It was brand new and loaded. There was a bow on the steering wheel and a note that said, “Thank you, son.” “Do you think he’s thanking me for getting all smoked up and driving?” Lucas laughed. “No, I think he may finally be seeing the real you,” she said. “You deserve this.” Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She forced a smile. “Hey, do the seats recline all the way?” “I like the way you think, baby. Let’s get out of here and find out.” Lucas started the SUV and peeled out. Tessa played with the radio and stopped when she heard the old song When I See You Smile. She started singing as she played with the seats. She found out that they in fact did recline all the way. He smiled and raised his eyebrow at her. Smartass, she thought. She took his hand and kissed it, then placed it on her breast. His body stiffened and his eyes narrowed. He was breathing heavier now, and he pulled over on the next dirt road he could find without taking his hand off of her body. Lucas parked the car, leaned over the console, and kissed her, his other hand took the back of her head and he pulled her up to him, the kisses got deeper and his hands began to explore. Tessa moaned as she enjoyed the exploration. She couldn’t believe how wonderful he was making her feel. Her breasts felt heavy, and each time he squeezed her nipple her body burned hotter and it became more difficult to breathe. Lucas pulled back and watched her face as he caressed her harder. Her mouth gaped opened slightly and her eyes scrunched together as she bit down on her lip. Her face was warm and breaths shallow. “We okay?” he asked breathing hard. “Seriously?” She opened her eyes and smiled. “Yes. Please, don’t stop.” Lucas groaned. “Perfect.” He turned her face back to his and licked her neck and sucked her skin “Mmm.” “Uh…it’s not Friday yet,” she whimpered as her hands found his hair. “Close enough.” Lucas lifted her shirt and gently kissed the swells of her breast. He bit down lightly on her nipple over her bra. Tessa moaned deeply and gently pulled his hair as she arched her body toward him. “Lucas,” she whimpered. Her phone chimed. - Dad’s looking for you…Alex She showed Lucas the message. He pushed out his bottom lip as he pulled her shirt down covering her again. He reached down and adjusted his erection and took in a few deep calming breathes before starting the engine. “I love you, Tessa.” “Love you too.” She smiled and sat back against the seat. He took her hand as he pulled onto the road. “Are the girls still mad at me?” Lucas gave her a sly half smile. “Yes,” Tessa answered. “Really?” Lucas looked confused. She laughed. “They’re upset because you stopped.” “I had to,” Lucas laughed and turned red. “Lucas, are you embarrassed?”
“Yeah, and what the hell is up with that?” Lucas asked out loud. *** They pulled into the farm and John and the kids were outside barbecuing. “Lucas, that yours?” John asked. “Yes Dad it’s punishment for his reckless behavior,” Tessa smiled as she walked by. John looked disapprovingly at them. “I know it’s not right,” Lucas said. “Your daughter graciously pointed that out to me.” Lucas gave a weak smile. “Glad to hear she listens,” John said. “She doesn’t just listen, she teaches me,” Lucas said. . When dinner was finished and the kids were all set for the next day, Tessa sat on the porch and put on her head phones. She had to perform for her voice class in two weeks and had not practiced. They had to choose a song from a Broadway play. She had chosen a song from Dream Girls; Hard to Say Goodbye, My love. She listened to it over and over while she sang along learning the song. *** Lucas watched her from the steps. As she sang he did his homework. How did he get so lucky to find someone so amazing after all that he had done? She was truly a blessing. Her phone chimed - not ever going to happen with us, BTW you have an amazing voice, I want to hear you sing every day for the rest of my life…LYA Lucas Lucas heard her giggle as he was sitting on the steps ten feet from her. She walked over and sat behind him, wrapping her arms and legs around him. “Oh hey, baby. I didn’t see you there, you are very distracting, can’t you see I am trying to get this done?” Lucas joked with a smile in his voice. She rubbed his belly and up his chest, then kissed the back of his neck. His head went to his shoulder, and she gave his neck a little nip. He moaned. “Tessa, you need to stop.” “I can’t wait until next Friday,” Tessa whispered in his ear. She licked his neck and blew lightly on the same spot. She grabbed one of his hands and brought it up to her mouth, gently sucking his ring finger. She reached down and rubbed his pants, feeling him harden under her hand as she stroked him. He hissed. “Fuck, baby.” She moved faster. His head fell back and he opened his mouth, groaning. She lifted her hand and pushed it down the front of his pants, then wrapped her hand around his hard length and stroked him faster. “Oh god, baby,” he said, breathing deeply. Tessa felt him jerk hard in her hand as his hot liquid spilled over her hand. He held his breath for a few moments and slowly released it against her cheek. She stood up and walked around in front of him. “Good thing you have a book to carry in front of you,” she said, looking down at him. His eyes were heavy and filled with lust as he gave her a lazy half smile. “You caused a mess,” Lucas smiled. “I like this game, but before it’s over, I assure you I will be the one who wins.” He stood with his book in front of him and kissed her, then went in the house. Later, Tessa was sitting on the couch reading when he came out from his shower. She grinned, and he
blushed and smiled. He sat next to her and kissed her hand. Kendall and Jake came and sat between them. Chewy jumped on Tessa. “Who wants popcorn?” Tessa asked, getting up to make some. Tessa brought in the popcorn and Alex and John joined them. Tessa shot pieces at the kids as they tried to catch them with their mouth and they laughed. They threw some at Alex, Tessa, and Lucas. Tessa caught them all and was deemed champion. She stood up and did a victory dance. They all laughed. Lucas helped her clean up the popcorn mess. “You’re pretty good with your mouth, Tessa,” he whispered. “The whole finger trick was nice,” he smiled as he rubbed his thumb across her lower lip. Tessa bit lightly on his thumb. “Next Friday, you and I will find out how good I really can be.” *** The next morning she made ham and eggs, the kids ate and started getting their stuff on for school. “Did you like the bus Tessa?” Jake asked. “Nope, is it still stinky and smelly just like I remembered.” “Yeah, it sucks,” Kendall said. “Watch your mouth Kendall,” Tessa said trying not to laugh. “How about two days a week you ride with us?” Lucas asked. The three looked at him a little shocked. “Are you serious?” Jake asked. “Why not?” Lucas said and smiled. “Can we today?” Kendall asked excitedly. “You’ll have to ask your sister,” Lucas said. “Do you know they have to be there twenty minutes before us?” Tessa asked. He smiled and winked, “Uh huh.” Oh, she thought and grinned, “Well then okay.” *** Her mom and dad were sitting at the table with Jake when Tessa and Lucas came home from practice. Jake had a black eye. Tessa dropped her bag and ran to him. “What happened, Jake?” “Jake was suspended for the day; he got in a fight,” Maggie said. “A fight... What happened?” Tessa asked. “Joel Black punched me in the eye because I told him that Lucas lived with us and he was your boyfriend.” Jake rolled his eyes. “Why would someone punch you for that, Jake?” “Joel is Sadi’s younger brother,” Lucas said quietly. “I’m sorry, Jake.” “Did you punch him back?” Tessa snapped. “Yep, that’s why I got suspended,” Jake smiled. Tessa hugged him. “Good job, buddy.” “Tessa, that’s not appropriate,” Maggie snapped. “Then it’s going to be really inappropriate when I kick his sisters- “ “Tessa,” John stopped her. She grabbed Jake’s face and raised her eyebrow. “It won’t happen again without major consequences, I promise.” She kissed his head. “I am so sorry,” Lucas said to Jake.
Jake smiled. “I’m not. Now Sarah thinks I’m cool.” “Mr. and Mrs. Ross, Tessa, I’m sorry.” “It’s not your fault, son,” John said. Tessa walked got up and walked outside. “You might want to go calm her down, you’ve never met Tessa the Terrible, have you?” Maggie smiled at Lucas as she grabbed another ice pack out of the freezer laughing. *** Lucas watched as Tessa ran down the dirt road behind the farm. He took a deep breath and ran toward her, yelling her name when he was close enough for her to hear him. She turned around and smiled. “Try to catch me, Links.” She ran faster but he caught up quickly. “Give me a challenge, Ross.” Lucas smiled turning and running backwards ahead of her. “First one to the trees wins.” She flew past him. “You ready to get your fine ass kicked,” he laughed as he passed her again. “Hey Links, I’m no cheerleader I can beat you. Check this out,” she said as she took her shirt off and threw it. “Not fair Ross,” clearly sidetracked, he stumbled. “You better get it or I will tell my Daddy you took it off me,” she giggled. She passed him as he turned back to grab her shirt, “See ya at the trees Links.” She ran as fast as she could and was almost there when he grabbed her around the waist. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and he walked to the woods and plopped her down and softly fell on top of her. They started laughing and were breathless. He rolled to his back. “I won,” she said. He rolled to his side and looked at her as her chest rose and falling quickly, “No I don’t think so,” he smiled and kissed her neck and started moving down. They heard the tractor. “My shirt,” she insisted. “Say please or I will tell your Daddy what a naughty girl he has Tessa the terrible,” Lucas said trying not to laugh. “Forget it then,” Tessa went to stand up. “Damn it Tessa here,” he laughed and threw her shirt to her. “You better stand in front of me and block the view,” Tessa laughed. He did, “You Tessa Ross…” he started. “Won,” she smiled, “and by the way, you haven’t seen Tessa the Terrible yet,” she kissed his check. “No but Tessa the Tease, that’s another story,” he smacked her ass. She looked at him and her jaw dropped, “Lucas!” “Sorry baby did I hurt you?” he asked concerned. Her mouth started to form a sly little smile and her eye brow rose slightly. “Tessa,” his voice was a growl, “Killing. Me!” They walked toward Alex on the tractor, “Mom sent me down to see if you were both still alive, want a lift,” he asked raising the bucket. They both hopped in. “Alex what are you doing tonight?” Lucas asked. “Not sure why?” “How about you, Phoebe, Tommy, Jade, and Tessa and I go out to dinner? We can all ride in the Lexus he said. “It’ll be an early night, big game tomorrow for all of us,” Lucas said and squeezed her hand. “Sounds good, I’ll call and ask.” “Cool with you, TT?” Lucas smiled at Tessa. Tessa smiled and shook her head yes, “Can I pick the spot?”
“Of course,” Lucas kissed her hand. “Good you get to meet my aunt tonight,” she said “hey Alex we’re going to go to the Spot,” she said and laughed. “You sure he’s ready for that?” Alex laughed. *** They picked up everyone and Tessa told him where to turn. He pulled in and she smiled “You ready?” “Sure. Your aunt work here?” “No she owns it,” Tessa laughed. They walked into the rundown bar and made their way through to the dining area. It was all picnic tables and a dance floor. Almost everyone said hello to them. “Hey there babies,” a blonde woman with a low cut blouse came running out and hugged the girls and kissed Alex. “You haven’t been up to see me in almost three months, the last time I saw you was when we went to the concert.” “We’re sorry Aunt Josie,” Jade smiled “Been a little busy,” she said. “This is Tommy, Tommy this is my aunt Josie.” Josie looked him up and down and told him to spin around, she grabbed his butt, “Nice,” she said. “You on the pill yet Jade?” “No not yet,” Jade smiled. “You can turn around now Tommy,” Josie said, “You are a doll.” “Alex who’s this pretty little thing?” Josie asked smiling. “This is Phoebe,” Alex smiled. “Very nice to meet you, Phoebe, be good to him, he’s a keeper,” Josie hugged her. Phoebe turned red, “I think so too.” “Tessa, Tessa, Tessa, who might this be?” Josie asked. “I’m Lucas, the lucky one Tessa said yes to,” Lucas smiled that dazzling smile and turned around before she asked. “Go ahead Josie,” and she did “Pretty nice right?” “Hell yes,” she smiled and laughed. “Now you?” he said, and everyone laughed. Josie blushed. “You coming up to help out during deer season, girls?” Josie asked. “I don’t know,” Tessa said. “I will,” Lucas offered. “What kind of experience do you have?” Josie asked smugly. “Oh hell, who am I kidding? You wear a tight tee shirt and jeans, you’re hired. Can you wash dishes?” “Yep,” Lucas smiled. Tessa laughed. “Alright, I’m in, but we are both in sports right now.” “That’s fine. We can work around it,” Josie said. “Jade?” Jade smiled. “I’m a little busy right now. I’ll check my schedule.” “Kind of a lame crowd tonight, and no one is singing along. Go get them started and dinner’s on me,” Josie said. “Dinner is always on you, Josie! Alright, any requests?” Tessa asked. “Joplin, baby!” she snapped her butt with the bar rag. It was her aunt’s favorite. Tessa kissed Lucas and ran up to Karaoke Joe. She grabbed the cordless mic, waited for the music to start, and sang. The locals went wild clapping and cheering as Tessa sang. She avoided looking in Lucas’s direction as she played the crowd like she had for years. At the end of the song Tessa as she set the microphone back in the stand. She bowed and handed the mic to Joe.
“One more Tessa?” he asked. Tessa smiled. “For you, Joe, sure. Pick one for me.” He played Shania Twains Any Man of Mine. She brought a chair up on the dance floor and made Lucas sit there while she sang. She danced around him and ended with her foot on the chair between his knees. Lucas smirked and watched her the entire time. Tessa took his hand and pulled him up to her, then kissed him in front of everyone. Lucas walked over to Joe and whispered in his ear. Joe smiled and handed him a microphone. “Tessa Ross, come back up here,” he said into the mic. Everyone cheered. She walked up and looked at him. “Sing with me baby?” “You sure about this?” Tessa asked. “Hell no, but I’m going to try,” Lucas laughed. Picture by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock started. She laughed and so did he. He sang to the crowd and then grabbed her and pulled her against him, “Wish I had a good girl to miss me. Lord I wonder if I’ll ever change my ways.” He kissed her nose and turned back to the crowd. Tessa sang to the crowd and then looked at him and sang, “I’ve been waiting on you for a longtime, fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine. I ain’t heard from you in three damn nights.” She turned back to the crowd and continued. “I found your picture today, I swear I changed my ways, I just called to say I want you to come back home, I just called to say I love you, come back home.” They sand facing each other smiling. When the song ended he kissed her and picked her up and twirled her in a circle as she laughed. When they got back to the table, prime rib and chicken parmesan was waiting piled on platters in the middle of the table. Josie took Tessa aside. “He’s beautiful, Tessa, and funny and looks at you like he’s head over heels.” “He isn’t alone, Aunt Josie. I am head over heels in love with him,” Tessa gushed. “Be careful, baby girl. I don’t want to see you knocked up before you graduate,” Josie said. “We haven’t had sex, Aunt Josie. And by the way, why aren’t you having this talk with Jade?” Tessa asked, laughing. “Has she?” Josie asked. “No,” Tessa said. “He’s living with you, right?” Josie asked. “Yep,” Tessa said. “That’s why I am talking with you and not her.” The girls went up and decided to sing Never Gonna Get it by En Vogue. When the finished Tessa looked at Phoebe,. “Phoebe, you can sing, girl.” “Pretty good?” Phoebe said beaming. “Damn good,” Tessa hugged her. “We’re God damn Rock stars,” Phoebe laughed. *** When Alex, Lucas, and Tessa returned from dinner John was in the recliner, “Josie called said she gave you and Lucas jobs?” “Yep,” Tessa laughed. “What’s so funny,” John asked. “Lucas has never had a job in a kitchen,” Tessa laughed. “She didn’t care because she thinks he’s cute.” John laughed, “He’ll do fine just be careful, she’s a cougar.” “I will be careful,” Lucas smiled.
“You kids need to get to bed, big games tomorrow,” John reminded them.
CHAPTER TWENTY Tessa was up cooking breakfast her hair braided in pigtails, Lucas smiled as he watched her dance around singing Down with the Sickness by Disturbed as she cooked. She didn’t know he was there. When the song finished he clapped, she jumped and laughed loudly. “You are so damn hot all the time,” Lucas kissed her, “Good morning Baby.” “I made breakfast.” “I love you,” he said quietly. “You better, wanna hear the Angry Monkey song?” she asked. He chuckled, she rolled her eyes, “Head in the game Lucas,” she yelled and cranked the song. She was dancing up to him and he started dancing with her, “Damn boy can you suck at just one thing?” “Not in my nature,” Lucas winked. John came in, he shook his head and grabbed a plate and ate as they danced around the kitchen, Alex came in and laughed, “Angry Monkey song Tessa?” she smiled and pulled him up to dance. Eventually the two younger kids came in and laughed. Lucas grabbed Kendall and made her dance, her face turned red and Tessa laughed. When the song ended and Tessa turned down the radio, they all sat and ate. When breakfast was over Lucas and Tessa did dishes while John and Alex went outside to move equipment. The two little ones took Chewy outside. “How are you, Lucas?” she asked him. “You ready for today?” “It will be weird without you there,” he said softly and kissed her neck. “How are you?” “I’m good, but I want you to kick ass today. I’ll give you a prize when you get home if you win.” “Really?” he said. “But it’s not Friday.” “It’s been Friday for two days,” Tessa laughed. “Okay, if you win I’ll let you,” Lucas chuckled as he sucked lightly on her neck. She smacked him. “Gee, thanks.” “Nah, I’ll think of something,” Lucas said, raising his eyebrows. “That look doesn’t freak me out anymore; it kind of excites me,” she whispered. He kissed her and grabbed her butt hard. “You haven’t seen excited yet.” His hand reached lower until he was almost touching between her legs, he picked her up and she gasped. He released his hand and pulled away. She was taking deep shallow breaths, and she grabbed his hand and brought him to the bathroom. She locked the door. “Tessa, what are you doing, baby?” he bit her lip as she started to pull down his pants. “Oh, god,” he said as she went to her knees. “You guys almost ready?” Alex called from the kitchen. “Yep, just grabbing something. Be out in two,” Lucas called out as he reached for her. She slapped his hand and he laughed. “Can’t wait for tonight, Tessa. What’s wrong, baby? Are you mad.” “Yes, at myself. This is crazy. I don’t think I will stop next time we are alone; it’s all or nothing Lucas.” Lucas took a deep breath. “It doesn’t have to be that way. I can calm down. Sorry, Tessa.” “Don’t be sorry. I want you more than anything I have ever wanted. I need you. I can’t even kiss you anymore without wanting more. I feel like I am losing it.” Tessa put her hands in her hair and wanted to scream. He tried to hug her, but she pulled away. “Don’t do that, Tessa,” Lucas pleaded.
“Seriously, what is wrong with me?” “Sit down,” he lifted her on the counter and lifted her shirt. “Oh God Lucas,” she whispered as his mouth covered her breast. They walked out of the bathroom and grabbed their bags off the floor. Tessa’s mom was pulling in. “Thank you,” she said and turned red. “The pleasure was mine,” Lucas smiled. “How does that work?” Tessa asked confused. “You’ll see tonight, we are winning this game,” Lucas laughed. They walked outside and he hugged her, “Good luck baby,” he kissed her head. “You too, I love you,” Tessa said feeling much more relaxed. “You better,” Lucas laughed. *** Lucas, Alex, and Tommy were on fire. They won their game, and the coach told them afterwards that there had been all sorts of recruiters in the bleachers. Sadi approached Lucas as he walked off the field. “We need to talk.” “No, we don’t.” Lucas kept walking. “I’m three months late,” she yelled. Lucas froze and quickly did the math in his head. He watched Tommy closed his eyes, then looked at Alex closed his eyes and hung his head. . “Did you hear me, Lucas?” Sadi asked, standing in front of him. Lucas said nothing. Sadi showed him a pregnancy test and a bill from a doctor’s visit. He squatted down for a moment, then stood back up. “We’ll talk later,” he said as he walked away. “When?” she demanded. “I’m not sure.” “Are you really living with her?” Sadi yelled. “Yes, Sadi. And you better leave her the FUCK alone. Got it?” “Yes,” she said quietly and walked to the bus. Lucas walked past the guys and into the woods behind the field. He fell to his knees and tried not to cry. His chest felt tight, and he was having a hard time taking in or expelling air. He felt dizzy and sick to his stomach. He closed his eyes and tried with everything he could to breathe. He flashed back to the only other time he had felt pain like this before. He was six when the school nurse called and asked why he was not at school. ’Mommy fell’, he’d said. Within minutes the ambulance was there, along with a white car with a seal on the door. They took his mom and then him. It was the same pain, the same fear, and the same inability to breathe. He looked up towards Tommy and Alex who were giving him space. He didn’t know how the hell he would face Alex or why he was still standing there. He saw John walk up to Tommy and exchange words. Alex walked towards the bus pulling in the driveway. It was the girls returning from their away game. He squatted back down and grabbed his head and released is cry into the air. This was nothing, he told himself. Telling Tessa was going to be the hardest part of this. John walked into the woods and knelt down next to Lucas and put his arm around his shoulders. “Son, you’ll get through this. We will help you through this.” Lucas shook his head no. “The girls just pulled in; give me your keys and let’s get you out of here.” Lucas stood and wiped off his face off and walked towards his vehicle with John. He saw Tessa watched from the bus as John opened the back door of the SUV. Lucas got in on one side, Tommy got in on the other.
*** Tessa ran off the bus. “Alex, is everything okay?” Alex avoided eye contact. “Where is Jade? We need to go.” “Alex, you’re scaring me.” Tessa felt her eyes fill up with tears. “JADE!” Jade turned and ran towards her, “Tessa, what is it?” “I don’t know. He won’t tell me.” Tessa looked at Alex, whose eyes shoed deep concern. “Phoebe,” Alex looked down at his girlfriend who was now by his side, “Can you ride with Becca? I’ll call you later.” “Of course,” Phoebe answered. Alex quickly kissed her head. The ride home was quiet. They pulled in and Tommy met them outside. “What’s going on, Tommy?” Jade asked. They heard yelling from the house. “Lucas you aren’t going anywhere. Put your bag down, son,” John said. “I gave my word to the sheriff, and you certainly don’t need to be going anywhere right now.” “No disrespect, sir, but I can’t stay here, I can’t see the disappointment in her eyes. Not again.” His voice cracked. “You have no clue how strong that girl is. Right now, you need people, and you have us. Now go get your ass the shower and let me talk to her. I’ll help you get through this,” John said. They heard Lucas running down the stairs. The bathroom door shut a moment later. Tessa stood frozen. Everyone was looking at her. John walked out the door, took Tessa’s hand, and brought her to the deck. “Daddy, what happened? Is it his mom? His dad, his sisters?” “No, baby girl, they are all just the same.” John took her hand and spoke. “After the game, the blonde, Sadi I believe, asked to speak to him. She said that she was three months late.” “She’s lying, Dad.” “Well, she handed him proof stating otherwise, a pregnancy test,” he said. “Honey, Lucas looked at it and walked into the woods behind the school and broke down.” “Are you sure?” she asked, hoping he was wrong. “Yes, and he’s in a very bad place right now. Can you try to keep it together for him?” John asked. “Of course, Dad, I love him.” Tessa began to cry. “I love him so much.” He pulled her into his arms. “He has over two months left here. Can you do that?” John asked, “Because if not, you need to tell me.” “He has to stay,” Tessa said quietly. “Okay then, let’s go in,” John said, standing and pulling her up. Tessa walked into the living room, and saw Lucas who sat on the couch with his arms crossed and his hat pulled down low hiding his face. Tommy got up and hugged Tessa and whispered in her ear “You going to be okay?” she shook her head yes. He left the room. Tessa walked over to the couch and sat next to Lucas. “How was your game?” “Seriously? That’s what you are going to say to me right now?” “Yep.” She took his hat and turned it around backwards. He looked up at her through those long black lashes and looked back down. “So how was the game, Lucas?” He laughed uncomfortably. “It was great, lots of recruiters, and we won. How was yours?” “Good. We won, too,” she said quietly. “What happened after Lucas?” He turned his hat around and pulled it down, and she saw him taking in deep breaths. Tears flowed
down his cheeks. She wiped them away, took his hands, and kissed them. “You’re going to be fine.” “How are you going to be, Tessa? Huh?” She started to cry. “I’m going to be fine.” He looked up at her and took her in his arms. She felt tears hitting her face as he buried his nose in her hair. “I’m so sorry, Tessa,” Lucas whispered. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t planned.” He shook his head. “Okay, then we need to come up with a plan for you.” He let out a breath and shook his head. “God, I love you.” “I love you, Lucas. I’ll help you figure this out, okay?” Tessa said. She wrapped her arms around his neck, took a very deep breath and slowly exhaled. Lucas’s phone rang. It was Sadi. He ignored it and immediately afterward received a text. - we need to talk….Sadi - What do we need to talk about?...L - Our child…Sadi “Do you need a minute?” Tessa started to get up. He pulled her down and shook his head. “Ask her questions, Lucas. I am sure you have several.” - how far along are you? L - Well let’s see we had sex a week before school started, you do the math… Sadi - Two and a half months?...L - good job…Sadi - What are you going to do?...L - what do you want me to do?...Sadi - well let’s see it didn’t matter last time so what the fuck are you even asking me for this time. By the way, I personally took you to get you on the pill, what the fuck happened with that?!...L - should have used a rubber, guess it didn’t work, not 100% remember?!?! I plan to keep it…Sadi - so again, what do you want from me?...L - for you to be a man, basically the opposite of your father…Sadi - fuck you bitch…he started to write. Tessa shook her head. “Don’t lower yourself to her level, Lucas. You are so much better than that.” - Ok you’re going to need to spell it out for me…L - First you need to get the hell off the farm and the farm girl, I shouldn’t be stressed right now…Sadi - Have to be here for three months, out of my control, as far as Tessa goes, I
told you once today if I need to repeat myself here goes, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!...L “Lucas don’t send that,” Tessa said softly. “Sorry, already did.” - As long as you don’t lay down with the dog then I won’t do a thing to her… Sadi - You also need to tell your brother to keep his hands off Jake…L - Jake started it…Sadi - Time to grow up Sadi; you’re going to be a mommy in less than seven months…L - As if you know anything about parenting?!...Sadi “Lucas, give me your phone.” Tessa grabbed it. - name calling does nothing, if we are going to parent a child together that needs to stop…L “Is that okay?” Tessa asked. He nodded. - Fine, I want you to be part of this pregnancy. And when your mom gets home I want to move in so that we can work on things and you need a job I want you taking care of us, not your daddy…Sadi As Tessa typed she saw his eyes starting to tear up again - lots of demands, head spinning, talk more later…L “Is that okay?” Tessa asked quietly. He nodded again. She pushed send. - Yes we will, now and forever this bond can’t be broken…Sadi “I can’t ask you to be part of this Tessa,” he said as tears fell down his face. “I love you too much for this to be your life.” “It isn’t up to you,” she said. “But if that’s what you need, I understand.” “Can I please kiss you?” he asked. She knew down deep that this would be a thing of the past all too soon. She took his face and kissed him gently. She slowly pulled away. “I’m sorry, Tessa.” “Don’t be. Let’s go for a ride,” Tessa said. “Anyone want pizza?” She took his hand and walked through the kitchen to the door. “Sure?” Jade and Tommy said, confused. “We’ll be back in thirty minutes.” Tessa grabbed his keys off the counter. “I’m driving.” *** She drove to the place that he and Tommy had first dropped her and Jade off after practice. It was off the main road and Tessa had all intention of making love to Lucas right then and right there. She looked out the window and the memories flooded her thoughts. The first time he had touched her leg, the first time he told her he was interested in her. She turned off the SUV and got out. He watched her as she dropped to her knees and cried. He got out
and held her. “You should have left me here and never looked back.” She threw her arms around his neck. He held her there until she couldn’t cry anymore. “I’m so sorry, Tessa,” he said softly as he picked her up and set her in the passenger seat. *** He went in and grabbed the pizza and came out. Sadi pulled up beside him. “Did you tell the farm girl the good news?” she asked, smiling. Tessa unbuckled and jumped out of the car and ran toward Sadi. She tried to open the door but Sadi locked it. Lucas grabbed her and pulled her away. “Tessa, don’t. Please,” he said as he carried her back to the car. “I fucking hate her,” Tessa screamed. “I hate her.” She began to cry. He kissed her head and walked to the driver side. “Does that answer your question, Sadi?” She smiled. “You better figure that out. My child won’t be around trash like that,” she said. “Hey farm girl, you may have got the crown, but I get the boy… forever,” she yelled as she pulled away. He pulled away and grabbed her hand. She tugged it away, folded her body into a tiny little ball, and sobbed. He drove home fighting tears and wanting to escape. To turn off the pain he felt. He knew he couldn’t. Not until he knew she would be all right. God he hopped someday she would be alright. He opened the door for her when they got home but she shook her head and turned away from him. “Okay, I’ll give you a minute.” He took the pizza inside and set it on the table. Then he walked back outside, unbuckled her and picked her up. She clung tightly to him as he carried her inside to the couch. He held her until she fell asleep. Jade walked in the room and whispered, “How are you?” “I don’t know,” Lucas said. “What can I do?” Jade asked. “Get her through this,” he whispered. “What about you?” Jade asked. “I’ll do what she wants,” he said kissing her head. “I think we both know what she’s going to expect, no matter what the cost to her, so you’re going to need to get her through this.” “I will, Lucas, I promise.” “Thank you.” Tessa slept on his lap for two hours. Finally, she opened her eyes looked up at him. “I’m sorry.” “Please don’t be, baby,” he whispered. “I wanted to kick her ass.” He smiled a little. “Trust me, I know that feeling.” She started to cry again. “I love you, Lucas.” “I will always love you, Tessa.” His eyes burned. “Do you understand that? Always.” She looked at him and couldn’t breathe. She started taking in deep breaths. He kissed her, and she finally let out a breath. She let go of his neck and stood up to go to the bathroom. He watched her walk away and his heart fell. He grabbed his hair and clenched his teeth. Jade walked over and hugged him, then started to cry. Tommy knelt down and put a hand on each of their heads and pulled them into his. After a few minutes, he let go. *** Tessa was curled in a ball on the floor, rocking herself. She looked up briefly when Jade sat beside her and pulled her into a hug
“I have lost him, Jade,” she cried. “Oh Tessa, I don’t think so. He loves you,” she said hugging. “We’ve done stuff, Jade. God I was so close to sleeping with him. Can you imagine — .” “But no sex?” “No but other things,” she looked up. “Oh, really. And how was that?” Jade asked. “I can’t anymore. I have to let him do what — ,” she stopped before telling her what had happened with Sadi and Lucas. That because she was pregnant Tessa knew he would do the same thing. Try to make it work. “Do what Tessa?” Tessa stood up and turned on the shower, “The right thing.” When Tessa was finished with her shower she walked out and looked at Lucas. She was wearing his sweatshirt with shorts. He patted his lap. “Come here, baby.” She sat on his lap and he covered her with a blanket and held her for a few minutes before kissing her and telling her, “I need a shower.” He got out and walked up stairs with just shorts on, holding his shirt in his hand. He’s so damn beautiful she thought. When he got back, she was on the couch with a cup of tea. A second cup sat waiting for him. “Dad and Alex went grocery shopping,” she said. “Tommy and Jade left when you were in the shower.” “Oh,” he said. “So what do you want to talk about?” she asked looking down. Take that sweatshirt off of and show you every move I have so you’ll never forget me. SO you never stop wanting me because I know damn well you’ll stop loving me soon. How could you not? he thought. “Can I ask you some questions?” he asked. She nodded and took a sip of her tea. “Do you think we can keep doing this, Tessa? Do you think you’re going to be okay with me telling her to do this alone?” She looked at him for a long time. “I suppose not.” “Why?” “Because I know who you are,” she said touching his chest, “in here, and I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.” “I know, Tessa, and that’s why this is killing me. You love who you know I can be. And if I don’t live up to that, you won’t. So either way, I’m going to lose you eventually.” He closed his eyes and sat back. She took his hand. “I don’t want to lose you, Lucas, and I am so afraid. The whole thing today... I wanted to kill her.” “I know. I’m sorry,” he said, looking down. “I want to be a good man, Tessa. I want to grow into the man you know is in here, but now I am so confused. What do I do? Tell me, please.” “The right thing,” Tessa whispered. “I don’t love her. I never could. I love you, and that will never change,” he grabbed her face. “Do you understand that, Tessa?”. “Yes” she said and tears burned her eyes again He hugged her. “I love you, Lucas.” After a long embrace, she pulled away from him. “Will you still be my friend?” “Will you want that?” “I don’t know, but I’ll try.” Her voice cracked. “I will, too.” They fell asleep in each other’s arms on the couch.
*** Tessa woke and walked outside on the deck; she sat and looked at the stars. She folded her hands and closed her eyes as she talked to God. “I’m so sorry for the way I have been acting.” She began to cry. “I know I have made mistakes, and I have to pay for them. I will, Lord, and I think I already am. I just ask that you please take care of Lucas. He’s a good guy, and I would have behaved worse if it weren’t for him seeing something in me that I had forgotten. Please forgive my sins, and please God, he has to be okay. Please help him through this.” “Tessa?” She looked up at Lucas standing in the door. “Come back in Baby, it’s cold.” He reached out for her hand. She wiped her tears and then reached out and took it. They walked inside and to the couch and lay down and held each other as they fell asleep. Tessa woke to her father’s voice. “Tessa, Lucas, time to get up and get ready for church,” John said softly. Tessa sat up and looked at Lucas as he opened his sleepy eyes. She touched his face and smiled at him. “Good morning Lucas,” Tessa said softly. “Good Morning Tessa” he whispered.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE Tessa sang a song called Blessings at church. At the end of the song a single tear fell from her eyes. He wanted to wipe it away. Wipe away all her pain and tears but instead of sitting next to Lucas she sat next to Jade. Jade smiled at her and wiped her tear, “You did great.” Tessa forced a smile and nodded. Today’s sermon was on lust, Tessa looked up and saw Lucas watching her as she seemed to accept every blow gracefully. She was a gift to him, and he knew it. He would make her proud. He closed his eyes and quietly thanked God for Tessa. *** After church she went home and cleaned. Lucas helped her father and brother move some hay, and she made lunch and waited for them to come in. “Lunch ready, Tessa?” John asked when they were done “Yep,” Tessa said. “I already ate. I’m going for a walk.” “Want company?” Lucas called as she headed out the door. “No, thanks, I have him,” she said as she patted Chewy and grabbed his leash. Tessa switched his collar and headed out back. She walked down to the falls and threw some stones as Chewy tried to pounce on tadpoles. She loved the quiet down here; it was the place she went when she needed to think. She sat against a tree and thought about life without Lucas’s kiss, and she started to cry. Then she thought about what his child’s life would be without him and decided she would cry no more. Sadi was hateful and mean. No child deserved that. Lucas’s child did not deserve that. She stood up, wiped the dirt and pine needles from her butt, and walked back up the hill to the field. Lucas was standing there. “Your Dad and Alex warned me not to go down there; they said it’s your personal heaven. So I waited here.” “Good move on your part. I may have kicked your butt, Links.” “Something is different with you today; I mean, I know all the stuff that went on fucked you up, but you seem okay. Are you okay?” She nodded “I suppose… and you’ll be too.” “How are you so sure?” “Because I decided I would be, now you have to do the same thing,” Tessa said. “Will you? Please?” “If that’s what you want.” She smiled. “More than you know.” He took her hand and she froze. “Tessa are you okay?” “I’ll be fine.” she looked down at their hands. “But please, Lucas,” she said swallowing her tears, “I can’t. I can’t touch you.” “I’m sorry,” he said. “But we are friends, right Tessa?” “Always.” She started to walk. “So friends hug right?” “Sure,” she said. “Can I hug you? I mean, sometime?”
“Someday, just not right now,” she whispered. The questions he asked and the way he asked them stabbed into her heart and twisted. He was trying so hard to do what was right and then this happened to him. Yes, he fucked Sadi, but he had a chance to be happy. He loved Tessa, adored her. She knew it, felt it. She swallowed hard and wished she could stop hurting for him. Wished he would…. “I need you now, Tessa.” “I need you too, Lucas. And I’m right here. We …just please let this heal a bit first.” “Okay, baby.” She turned to him. “Thank you.” *** The boys were there to shoot and Lucas joined them. When they were done she had already gone to bed. “John, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this to her, I can’t be here and see her hurting.” “Son — you don’t have a choice.” “Alright then. I need to run home and grab some clothes and a couple books.” “Sure just hurry back and drive careful.” Lucas walked in his house and grabbed his trusty bowl. He smoked until he passed out. He woke to a kiss and opened his eyes. Sadi was next to him naked. “I saw your car and decided to stop by. “Sadi — get out,” he mumbled. “What, are you afraid you’ll get me pregnant?” He glared at her. “It’s been almost three months since I’ve had sex. I have needs, Lucas. You put out or I will find someone else to poke this baby of yours in the head.” He stood up and stumbled back into his dresser. Sadi spread her legs as she lay down on his bed. “Tell me you haven’t missed this, Lucas.” She rubbed herself and spread herself open with one hand. Lucas looked away, closed his eyes, and started to fall. He caught himself and opened his eyes. She was finger banging herself and moaning. “Come here, Lucas. Fill me please. I’m so wet and hot.” He walked away. She jumped up and followed him. He held himself up on the door jam and she ducked under his arms and pulled his pants down. “You wanna waste this, Lucas? You’re hard for me.” Sadi licked him from root to tip and took him in her mouth, gagging a little as he hit the back of her throat. Lucas groaned. “See? Feels good doesn’t it?” Sadi said. She spit on her hand and stroked him. “Either suck my cock or get the fuck out,” Lucas sneered. Sadi took him in her mouth, and he maneuvered himself against the bathroom counter. He held her head and pushed into her mouth as she moaned loudly. He watched as saliva dripped down her chin. She stopped and swallowed. She sat back on her knees and looked up at him. “That’s all you got Sadi?” “Are you gonna come?” she wiped her chin. He laughed, grabbed his erection and stroked himself. “I don’t need you to get me off Sadi. My hand works just fine.” She stood, bent over in front of him, looked over her shoulder. “Fuck me and I’ll leave.” Lucas grabbed her around the waist and slammed into her hard. “This what you wanted, Sadi?” “Fuck yes, Lucas,” she screamed out as he banged her. She held her hands against the wall . “Oh fuck, yes! Fuck me harder.”
Lucas hammered into her until she screamed out in orgasm. He followed directly after. She leaned against the wall and smiled. “I’ve missed you.” He walked into the shower and scrubbed himself frantically as he began sobering up. He stepped out of the shower and looked at his reflection. He was sickened by what he had done. “That’s just who you are Lucas.” “Don’t fucking come here again, Sadi,” he said when he came out of the bathroom. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. Me, you, and a baby, Lucas,” she said, rubbing her belly. She got up and dressed. “See you at school tomorrow.” She walked out. Lucas got dressed and threw some thing in his bag. Then sat down and called his father and told him about the pregnancy. Landon was calmer than expected. “You’re still staying with the Ross’s?” Landon asked. “Yes,” Lucas said sadly. “Do they know?” “Yes, and John insisted I stay anyway.” “How’s Tessa taking it?” Lucas felt a lump forming and cleared his throat. “She’s amazing, Dad, strongest person I have ever met. We are going to try to be friends. And I certainly don’t deserve that.” “Don’t sell yourself short son; you’re pretty damn strong,” Landon said with conviction. Lucas heard a woman’s voice calling him. “Who’s that, Dad?” “Audrianna. She and the girls are here for the day,” Landon said with a smile in his voice. “Taking it slow, Dad?” Lucas asked with a laugh. “Yes, very. She’s pretty insistent on it. We’re actually going to counseling tomorrow.” “Good. Well, I have to get back before John wonders what happened to me. I’ll see you Friday night at the State Championship, right?” “Yes, hopefully all four of us will be there,” Landon said. “Good, I want to see the girls. Goodnight, Dad.” “Goodnight, Lucas. I love you.” *** They woke up for school the next day and like usual Tessa was up and had breakfast on the table and the clothes ironed. Lucas watched her as she tried to avoid his stare. “Good morning, Tessa,” he said quietly. “Good morning, Lucas,” she smiled. “Did you sleep well?” “I did, and you?” He not only saw her eyes sadden, but felt it deep inside his chest. “Yep. State finals tomorrow right?” “Yes,” Tessa answered trying to keep it together. “You nervous?” Lucas asked. She shook her head. “Is it alright if I come?” “Sure, that would be great.” “Good. Are you going to Alex’s game?” “Yes, Lucas, and to yours.” “Can I hug you yet?” She looked down and walked toward him. “Yes.” He stood and grabbed her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her head. He opened his eyes and kissed her lips lightly, Tears started falling down her cheeks. “Tessa, don’t cry. Baby, please... I’m sorry,” Lucas said, wiping away her tears. She let go of his neck and took one last deep breath. Then she walked into the bathroom, sat on the
floor, and quietly cried. He walked in a moment later. “Tessa, please. God, I am so fucking stupid,” he said. She took a deep breath as he wiped her tears away. “You can’t kiss me, Lucas, okay?” “I won’t,” he said. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.” *** They pulled into the school and got out of the car. They both looked when the heard Sadi’s voice. Alex grabbed Tessa and wrapped his arm around her and walked her in. Lucas looked at her and glared. “What, no kiss? Did you tell her you and I had sex last night?” He grabbed her arm and squeezed. “You better keep your mouth shut, Sadi. She and I are through. But you need to know I love her, and not a damn thing you do to me will stop that. I’m working through some stuff here hoping that I can be a good father and we can parent together, and that’s all Tessa’s doing. I promised her I would try. Last night was a big blurry mistake. Leave her alone and thank god she made me promise to try.” Sadi yanked her arm away. “Fine — as long as you don’t keep fucking her.” “It was never that with her, Sadi. It was all here.” He held his hand over his heart. “Don’t you get it? I love her,” he said, sounding defeated. “You loved me once, too, and before this baby is born, you will again.” Sadi stormed away. *** “Tessa,” Alex yelled as he walked in. “I started the hot tub for you, Phoebe says you may need it, you practiced pretty hard today.” “Thanks Alex, dinners in the oven maybe after that I will go out,” Tessa yelled back. Lucas walked in and bent over her shoulder and looked at the computer, she felt his breath on her neck, “How are you Lucas?” “Lots of friend requests,” he reached over and clicked on them, “Wow lots of guys, that one’s good looking,” he said flatly and kissed her head. She laughed, “Sit down Lucas you seem interested, why haven’t you friend requested me?” “Seriously Tessa me on Facebook? That would be interesting,” they both laughed. “Oh,” he said pointing, “There’s GI Joe, better accept that one,” he said biting on an apple as he pressed accept. “Well thank you,” she smiled, “Oh and there’s your baby momma, requesting me as a friend, shall I accept that one?” “Is there a fuck off button?” He said and hit deny and frowned at her. They went through the list and he denied all the guys. She rolled her eyes and laughed. Next the girls, she accepted Phoebe and he went through and denied the three B’s, “Seriously? What is wrong with people? This is the dumbest crap I have ever seen,” Tessa pointed to Audrianna and he hit accept. She clicked on her page and he saw pictures Audrianna had taken at his game with the girls, and some of Lucas and Tessa. “Still think it’s dumb?” “No that’s pretty cool,” Lucas admitted. “Look at you, all fine looking…. and pissed off as hell at me, you should be an actress Tessa,” Lucas leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Lips off Links,” she said quietly. “Sorry baby.”
The timer went off and she jumped up and got dinner out of the oven. He walked out behind her, “We okay?” She smiled and shook her head yes. “What’s for dinner?” “Chicken shit.” “Excuse me?” Alex laughed, “Look at it man, looks just like it.” John and the kids came in and they ate. “You kids hitting the hot tub after dinner?” “Yes, Phoebe said Tessa over did it today,” Alex said. *** Dinner was cleaned up and Tessa was upstairs changing. She ran downstairs and grabbed a towel. Lucas watched her as she went out the door, smoking hot he thought and shook his head. “You going in?” Alex asked. “Are you?” “Yep.” “Ok then,” Lucas said and he went up and threw on some trunks. Tessa had in ear plugs and was singing with a towel over her eyes. Lucas watched her as Alex got in. She jumped when Alex eased into the water, then took the towel off her eyes. “Hey Alex,” she laughed. She saw Lucas standing there, his trunks hanging on his hips. He had no shirt on. She closed her eyes. “Lucas, you getting in or do you need an invitation?” Lucas got in. They sat quietly; keep your eyes closed, Tessa told herself. She swore she could feel his eyes burning through her. Alex’s phone rang and he got out and walked into the house. Tessa opened her eyes and saw that she was right; he was watching her. She quickly closed her eyes again. She felt him move beside her, and she sat very still as he took her hand. “This is awful. I miss you.” Tessa kept her eyes closed. “How can you miss me, Lucas? I’m right here,” she said, knowing full well what he meant. She missed him too. Lucas laughed. “This may come as a shock, but I miss the talking.” Tessa opened her eyes. “If you let go of my hand, I may be able to actually relax.” He kissed it and let go, “So, what shall we talk about, my friend,” she said, emphasizing “friend”. “Where were you all day?” “Avoiding conflict, avoiding seeing you, basically avoiding a break down. This morning was awful,” she laughed. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “It’s going to take some getting used to.” Tessa tried to make the situation seem less significant. “I am so pissed that I didn’t meet you before all that happened.” “Things happen for a reason,” she said, taking a deep breath trying to convince herself. “Can we talk about something else, please?” “Sure, what can we talk about, baby?” He grabbed her hand. She smiled. “How about what is acceptable between friends when they are of the opposite sex.” “Okay, that’ll be interesting. I have to be honest with you; I have never had a female friend,” he said. “Why does that not surprise me?” Tessa laughed. “Let me have the rules.” “Let’s start with appropriate touch. Hugging; a quick hug when you’re excited or happy, and a longer one when someone needs comfort. Kisses; a quick one like the ones you give me on the head are sweet and show that you’re there and being supportive. A kiss on the cheek in a situation like a death or
congratulations, but never on the mouth. Hand holding is for support, but not an everyday thing.” “Well, what about when someone seems sad? What should I do when you look sad?” Lucas asked softly. She ignored the question. “Now let’s talk about nicknames. Baby is for people who love each other for more than friends, and FYI, I used to love it, but it kind of stings now. So maybe use a last name or something fun.” “How about TT?” She laughed. “Tessa the Terrible, Tessa the Temptress, Tessa the Terrific…” He looked down at her chest. “Tessa with the terrific, tasty t…” “What are you guys talking about?” Alex asked, returning to the hot tub. “Male and Female friendship appropriateness,” Tessa laughed. “Any advice?” “Respect,” Alex said. “Alright then, that’s a lot to comprehend. I’ll try.” Lucas smiled at Tessa. “It’s a deal.” She stood up, and his jaw dropped as he looked at her. “Goodnight.” *** Lucas woke to Tessa screaming. He grabbed the magnet that disarmed the door alarm up and ran into her room in his pajama pants. He grabbed her and picked her up and hugged her, he sat on her bed and kissed her gently on the head over and over again. “Tessa you’re okay?” he whispered. Tessa shook her head and held tightly to his neck pushing her face was against his bare chest, she was shaking. Lucas grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her. He took turns kissing her head and lightly caressing her hair. She finally stopped crying. Tessa raised her face to his. “Kiss me please Lucas.” He did gently and moved to her neck. He pulled away and looked at her, the moonlight from the windows shined on her, “You look so good,” he said, and he wiped away her tears. “Did you have a bad dream baby?” “There was an accident with four people and people died, I don’t know who, but I know I loved them. Lucas you have to promise me you’ll be careful please?” he shook his head yes, “No say it, promise me you’ll be careful.” “I promise Tessa, but it was just a dream, okay?” he kissed her again. “Please stay with me tonight,” Tessa asked. “Tessa you really don’t want that, you’re just upset right now, baby,” he said and she kissed him and lay down. He followed her down. Her kisses were deep and full of passion. “I Love you, Lucas, please be careful, please I love you,” she kissed him, she pulled away, “Did you hear me?” “Yes Baby,” Lucas started to say. “Then why didn’t you answer me?” she started to tear up again. He took her face, “You didn’t give me a chance Tessa, I promise I will be careful.” “Good,” she laid down and wrapped her arms around him. She fell asleep on his chest. *** She was still wrapped around him when he opened his eyes. He kissed her and she slowly woke up. “Good morning, baby,” Lucas said quietly. “How did you get in here?” she whispered, looking over at Kendall. “A magnet. You had a bad dream. We can talk about it later,” he said. “I need to sneak out of here before your Dad or Alex gets up. I love you, Tessa Ross,” he bent to kiss her, her eyes widened.
He kissed her head.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO Her heart beat hard as they walked into the arena for that night’s game. They ran drills and went through plays. Just as the game was about to start, she saw her parents and Molly, Kendall, and Jake walk in, behind them were Alex, Ryan, Tommy, and Lucas. She smiled when she saw them. Lucas winked at her. They played hard, but were behind by two in the second half. The first play of the second half, Tessa made a goal. Then they were behind by one. In the fourth quarter, Tessa was hit in the face with a stick, knocking her down and slicing her forehead open. She jumped up and ran to the sidelines. Lucas watched her avoid her coach, grab the first aid kit, and cover the gash. She stomped her foot and argued with Coach V, and her bandage was already saturated when she returned to the field. Tessa immediately got the ball and made a goal, then walked off and changed the bandage. She started to go back out, but the coach grabbed her arm and shook his head, pointing to the bench. Lucas saw her yell “Bull shit” and Coach V glared at her and pointed to the bench again. She sat, pouting. Becca had the ball and passed it to Phoebe who took it in. Only thirty seconds left and they lead by one. The other team was given a penalty shot. Jade stopped it, and the clock ran out, giving them the win by one point. Lucas got up and made his way to Tessa; her Mom was right behind him. Tessa was on the field, celebrating with her team, when she started to throw up. Lucas ran to her, scooping her up in his arms. Maggie told Coach V that they were taking her to the hospital; she thought Tessa had a concussion. Lucas drove and Maggie rode with them. They were seen quickly, and Tessa got three stitches in her hairline. Maggie had been right; Tessa had a concussion. She insisted on going back to the farm, and Maggie asked that Lucas check on her every three hours. They dropped Maggie off, and Tessa smiled. “We won.” “You kicked ass, Tessa,” he said. “But seriously, you need to be more careful. You play rough.” They both laughed. He took her hand and kissed it, a bit nervous as to how she would react. She allowed it. Lucas asked her to open the glove box. She did, and there was a box inside of it. “Open it,” he said. Inside was a silver necklace with two hockey sticks crossing one another. “Read the back.” He smiled and she did. LYA LUCAS “It’s beautiful,” she said. “Thank you.” “Before you get freaked out, it’s just a friendly gesture. I do love you, Tessa, even if we can be just what we are….for now.” That night they both slept in the living room. After John went to bed, Lucas snuggled up on the couch with Tessa. Every three hours his alarm vibrated, and he woke her up with a kiss. Each time she smiled and said, “I’m still alive.” *** She didn’t avoid her friends on Wednesday and he sat at the same table at lunch, Sadi walked by and made snide remarks which Tessa ignored. She touched her neck often to make sure her necklace was still there. It was a token of his love. A love that as quickly as it began was forced to go away. Tessa’s head was hurting badly after lunch, so she went to the nurse. She lay down and slept until the last bell. She walked out and went to her locker. “Hey, you feel okay?” Jade asked. “A little sore.”
“We are going to stay and watch the guy’s practice. Do you feel up to it?” Jade asked. “No, I am pretty sure Crazy would get a little anxious. Besides, I’m going to run to the mall.” “Hey, Alex Ross,” Tessa yelled into the boy’s locker room,- “I need the keys to run some errands.” Lucas walked out in black shorts, drying his hair and then his chest. “Take mine TT,” he said. “You sure?” “What are friends for? Just pick me up after practice.” “Thanks.” “Baby, whatcha looking at?” Tessa rolled her eyes and started to turn around. He grabbed her arm. “You like what you see, baby, don’t look away.” Tessa started to say something but her mouth snapped shut. He popped his Pecs and winked. She scowled. “No, all that is awful.” He chuckled. “Uh huh.” Tessa stomped her foot and walked away chewing on her lip. She got into the Lexus and drove out of the parking lot as Sadi glared at her. Tessa wanted to flip her off. BITCH! Tessa went to the mall and bought some new undies and bras at Victoria Secrets. She decided on front closure. She went to the jewelers and got two sliver chains, one for Alex and one for Lucas. She got both with helmets. She had Lucas’s engraved LYA. Alex’s said BLESSED. *** Tessa pulled in just in time to pick up Lucas. He walked out and jumped in. She saw Sadi start to walk toward them and pulled out. “Let’s get Chinese,” he said. Tessa pulled over and ran in to order. She saw Lucas on the phone arguing with someone, he hung up quickly. When she came out he was playing with the pink bag and grinning from ear to ear. “Really friend?” she said laughing. “Boy shorts Tessa, that is so hot, with matching bras front clasp no less,” Lucas smiled, “Very naughty.” “Who were you fighting with on the phone?” She pulled out onto the road. “Her.” “Oh, yes her,” Tessa said making a terrified face. “Sometimes I forget.” “Those are the times you smile,” Lucas said deep in thought. “Not happy that I took your vehicle?” “No, happy isn’t the word I would use to describe it, but it’s none of her business,” Lucas said trying to convince them both. She reached over and squeezed his hand, “It’s going to be okay, Lucas. You’ve got this.” He took a deep breath. *** Tessa woke up crying again that night. It was the same dream and he was in her room again. Lucas held her and lay with her till she fell asleep. He gently kissed her lips as she lay sleeping in his arms. She whimpered his name a few times and each time he kissed her she smiled and fell back to sleep. She woke in his arms again and watched him sleep. When he woke up, she had on black boy shorts and was clasping the matching black lace bra. “That’s one heck of a sight to wake up to,” Lucas said, smiling. She jumped and turned around bending
to pull up her skirt. “That’s just as good,” he said, standing up. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. I don’t think I’ve let you get much sleep lately,” Tessa said. “Please, don’t apologize. I wish I could wake up to that every day of my life,” he smiled and added, “friend.” His hair was messy and his perfectly ripped upper body was bare. Me too, she thought She pulled him up and hugged him. “Oh,” she gasped, when she felt his erection. “You had better go... I don’t know, take care of that before anyone wakes up,” she said, rushing him out the door. Within minutes, John was turning off her alarm. “Oops,” John said as he walked down the stairs, “must have forgotten that one to turn it on.” Tessa and Lucas opened the doors at the same time and they both smiled having heard John think he made a mistake. “Tessa,” Kendall said. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” She quickly turned and walked towards “Yes. If he’s going to come in here every night, maybe you should wear more pajamas” Kendall said. “I’m so sorry, Kendall. It won’t happen again.” “It’s okay. I won’t tell. He makes you stop crying. He’s not doing anything wrong. But you need to wear more pajamas, okay?” “Okay, Kendall,” Tessa said. “Go back to sleep. You have another hour.” She walked out and Lucas stood in the hallway, looking at her. “Thank you,” she said. He hugged her and kissed her head. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” They walked downstairs, she went in the kitchen and he went in the bathroom. She put cinnamon rolls in the oven and he walked out. “Can I hug you?” She smiled and hugged him, “I think after the game Friday night we should invite some people up to camp,” Alex walked in and she let go of Lucas, “What do you think Alex?” “Sounds like a plan,” Alex yawned. *** Tessa, Jade and Phoebe rode with her parents and siblings to the game. They walked in just as the game was about to start. The other team was big; they looked like college athletes. Tessa whistled loudly, and Alex waved from the field. He elbowed Lucas, and he smiled up at her. Tessa blew them kisses. Lucas’s Dad, Audrianna, and the girls sat behind them. The girls jumped on Tessa’s lap. Tessa hugged them. “Hello princesses.” Lucas smiled and waved to them. “How are you doing, Tessa?” Audri asked. “I’m good. How are you?” “I’m actually kind of wonderful,” she smiled. “Thanks to you, I think Lucas gave me some great advice, so thank you.” Landon walked in with his arms full of food and little pom- poms for the girls. “Hello, Tessa.” He smiled, “What happened to your head?” “Championship field hockey game,” Tessa smiled. “Did you win?” “Yes,” Tessa said. “Way to go,” Landon said, patting her on the shoulder. “Lucas and Audrianna tell me that you were pretty pissed off at my son the last time we met. I would have never known. Why did you act like nothing
was bothering you?” “I wanted him to win, and apparently I’m a good actress,” Tessa said. “Are you acting now, with everything that has come to light?” “No, Mr. Links. I know your son is a great guy, and forgive me if I sound, well, my age, but I love him and want what’s best for him regardless of what is happening. We are friends, and I hope we always will be,” Tessa looked at him. “That isn’t typical of your age Tessa — and thank you.” Landon leaned forward and hugged her. *** The game started out fiercely. Lucas was sacked for the first time all season. The opposing team knew they were big on passing and blocked almost every chance they had. Lucas threw a forty- yard yard pass to Tommy, and he made the first touchdown of the game. He held up his J and Jade smiled. They were tied at half time. Landon got up and walked toward a row of what looked like college scouts and shook their hands. Lucas passed the ball at the fifty yard line at the beginning of the second half. It was intercepted by number 72 from the opposing team. He ran fast down the field and passed everyone; Lucas ran after him and tackled him at the ten yard line. The ball was loose and Lucas recovered it. Tessa jumped up with the rest of the crowd and cheered. The game ended with the boys in blue ahead by seven. Tessa ran to Alex and hugged him. Lucas beamed as he looked at her. She hugged him next, and he spun her around. “Amazing job, rock star,” she said. He kissed her on the mouth then put her down turning towards his father and gave him a hug. Sadi walked up and kissed Lucas on the cheek. “Good job.” “Thanks,” he said, looking past her. Lucas walked up to the boys and they all hugged. Number 72 ran up to them. “Good game, guys.” He looked at Tessa. “Your boyfriend kicked my ass out there today, Ross.” “He’s not her boyfriend,” Sadi said loudly. He smiled and winked. “Good to know. See you in two weeks, Tess.” “So did you tell her yet?” Sadi asked Lucas. “Sadi, of course he told me; we are friends, remember?” Tessa said. “So he told you we fucked less than a week ago?” Sadi asked. Tessa kept walking. She didn’t want to play Sadi’s game anymore. *** She walked up to her dad who was standing next to number 72 and a man she thought she recognized. “Hey Tessa, do you remember Ben?” John asked. “No, sorry, I don’t,” Tessa smiled. “His dad comes up every year for a week and hunts with us. Ben is coming up this year, too,” John announced. She smiled. “Cool.” Ben put his arm around her shoulder. “Tess, you’re breaking my heart. How could you forget me?” Ben said, laughing. “We use to shoot bow and arrow together.” “Benji?” Smiling, she turned and hugged him. “I used to kick your butt. I hope you’ve gotten better.” “We’ll see. Damn, you’ve changed,” he said. She laughed. “No boyfriend, Ross?” Ben asked.
“Nope.” “Great, then you’re going to have to let me take you out some night,” Ben said. “Is it a date?” “I guess it all depends on how well you shoot. I certainly couldn’t go out with someone whose butt I can kick. And you’re going to have to redeem yourself after that play,” Tessa said. They both laughed. Lucas walked up to them. “Lucas, this is Ben.” “Hey, Lucas,” Ben put his hand out and Lucas shook it. “Tess didn’t remember me; our fathers went to college together. They hunt together every year, and Tess here,” Ben said putting his arm around her, “used to kick my ass when we shot bow. Do you hunt?” “I will be this year,” Lucas smiled. “Great then I’ll see you both in a week. Tess, you denied me as your friend on Facebook — ouch,” he said and kissed Tessa’s hand and walked away. “I got you and Alex something, so when you get back, check in your glove box. I’ll be setting up at camp.” Tessa smiled. “See you then.” *** The girls had invited a few friends, and the boys pulled in and walked down to camp. Tessa had made cupcakes and the girls had decorated them with their jersey numbers and school colors. Tessa wrote ROCKSTAR on the one she made for Lucas. Lucas was quiet when he came in. “Cheer up, buttercup,” Tessa said, as she walked by and elbowed him. “We need to talk,” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her behind him outside. “First of all, I love the necklace.” He pulled it out from inside his jacket. “Thank you. But Tessa, I know you’re pissed about what Sadi said at the game, so please let me explain.” Tessa looked at him and acted confused, “Oh,” she gasped as she searched his guilt- ridden face. “Oh Lucas, you slept with her last week? When? Why?” He told her what happened, every detail. When she was able to breathe again, she forced a smile on her face. “Okay, then.” She turned to walk away. “Tessa, wait,” he said. She turned to look up at him. “Lucas, I am not sure what you want me to say. Should I congratulate you on your ability to get high? Or the way women throw themselves at you, although I would hardly call that a woman? Or maybe I should congratulate you on your problem controlling this?” She reached down and grabbed him while she stared into his eyes. She let go. “You have a problem — a couple of them actually. But I’m not yours, and you are absolutely not mine.” She turned to leave. Lucas grabbed her arm. She pulled it away. “Tessa, I love you. I’m sorry.” “I still want you to be okay. I care deeply for you, and I will pray, Lucas, that someday you can see how wrong you are about your feelings for me if you could do that. Our friendship was never a friendship, because I loved you so much more, no matter the hurt it caused me.” The pain in her eyes was almost more than he could bear. “But that’s where I was wrong. I said one thing and wanted something else desperately. I was hurt then, now I feel betrayed.” “I have never lied to you, Tessa.” “I suppose not. How very noble of you.” Tessa walked inside. Tessa walked up to Jade. “Tell Tommy that Lucas needs a friend right now,” Tessa said, clearing her throat and taking a deep breath. “And Jade, right now I need to fall apart, so can you come to the pond after you see that Tommy takes care of Lucas?”
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE The next week went by slowly. Each day the same, Tessa would wake and get breakfast ready and Lucas would always thank her. She felt numb, she would come home after school and do her homework and chores and fix dinner. Tessa got the lead role in the play Evita and her practice ran from six at night until nine. Lucas and Alex had basketball practice after school and he was home by five. Lucas would do whatever he could to be in her presence and appear busy. When she left for practice he and Alex would shoot hoops or guns until she came home. Tessa never told anyone about Sadi and Lucas’s last night together. Jade and Tommy knew of course. She needed him to be alright, she knew she couldn’t be that for him anymore. Tessa would smile and make small talk and joke when other people were around but when Lucas was alone with her she avoided him completely. They worked together on Saturdays at the Spot without many words exchanged. Tessa was secretly in agony and Lucas missed her more and more everyday as he watched the only girl he ever loved quickly slipping away from him. *** Tessa went up to Camp to clean for the big opening weekend celebration. She was surprised to see Lucas on the counter, cleaning the windows. He turned when he heard her come in and jumped down. “Hey, Tessa, did you come to help?” He had the fire going and it’s hot in here, which must be why his shirt was off, she thought. Tessa forced a smile. “Yep, I do this every year.” “I know, Alex told me. I just thought I could get it done so you didn’t have to,” he said. “You do everything at the house. I thought I should pitch in since you have to deal with my sorry ass for the next two months.” Tessa saw the black frame around the Doe Camp sign that was now hanging above the fireplace. “You like it?” He was leaning on the counter and crossing his arms in front of him. “I thought it deserved a frame.” “Looks good.” She unpacked the bags of products and supplies she’d brought with her. He reached over and grabbed a bottle of Clorox. She bumped into him and froze. She looked up at him and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. He smelled good, as he always did. His hands were in the air and his eyes were closed. He was taking deep breaths. He opened his eyes and looked down into hers. They stared at each other for a long time. He swallowed hard. “Tessa, I can’t move right now, so you’re going to have to,” Lucas said in a whisper. Tessa ducked under his arm and walked outside to grab the groceries out of the truck. When she came back, he was gone. She opened the back door to shake out a rug and saw him crouched down, hugging his knees. She walked past him and shook the rug. When she turned back around, she saw that his eyes were filled with tears. He clenched his jaw shook his head. She couldn’t look away. Her eyes filled and she dropped to her knees in front of him and began wiping his falling tears with her sleeve. “I’m so sorry Tessa,” he said taking deep breaths. “Lucas,” she whispered “please don’t cry.” “Tessa, I have never felt this sort of pain. I feel like my heart is literally breaking into pieces and then I see you and feel the hate you have for me. I can’t even give you the space you deserve. I fucked up, I am so sorry,” she hugged him, “Tessa don’t.”
She didn’t let go. He finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t hate you Lucas,” Tessa whispered. She wanted to tell him she loved him and that she and he could work through this, that she would help him raise his child and they would get married one day and live happily ever after. “I want to be your friend, it’s just going to take some time, sorry.” “You have nothing to be sorry for Tessa.” “Okay, you’re right. I am perfect. You are lucky to have me as a friend.” Tessa forced a laugh. “But Lucas, I’m lucky to have you too,” she stood up, “because without you it would take me all day to get this place clean.” She grabbed both his hands and pulled him up; she wiped his face with her sleeves and stared into his beautiful green eyes. “Now would you please put a shirt on?” Tessa asked. She turned and walked into camp. He knew she still loved him and selfishly, for now that was enough. Tessa popped her headphones on and was cleaning when Lucas tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped. “Share your music?” He asked holding up his portable speaker. “Sure.” Tessa handed it to him. Lucas turned it on and looked at her playlist, he laughed. “What’s so funny?” “You, TT. Your playlist. I’m just not sure which one to choose from; it’s either get pumped, dance your ass off, goodnight tunes, or,” he scrolled down, “fuck off LL.” “I was mad.” “Can we listen to that one?” Lucas laughed. “Sure. Maybe you’re not even LL,” Tessa said, looking at him with both eyebrows raised. “Yeah, ok.” He flipped through the play list while she continued to clean. He added three songs from his iTunes account and pressed play. They cleaned, and with each new song, he shook his head and smiled at her; Respect by Aretha, Hate Everything About You, by Ugly kid Joe, I Hate Men by Cole Porter, Love Song by Tesla, Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam. Tessa forced a smile. “You happy now?” “Not yet. I added a couple for you, just in case you ever wanted to hate that jerk even longer.” Pearl Jam’s Black played, and she sang along with it. “Good Song,” she said. “A little dark, though.” “Black actually,” he grinned, raising his eyebrows. The next song was Hate Me by Blue October. She smiled. “I like that song. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before.” “One of my favorites right now,” he jumped down from the ladder. “Loft is finished TT.” He snapped her in the butt with a towel. “You’re slacking.” She laughed. Far Behind by Candlebox played. She listened and scrubbed the walls by the fireplace that were caked black with soot. She heard him singing and smiled. The music stopped. “Did you like them?” he asked. She nodded. “I’m hungry, are you?” She shook her head. “You haven’t eaten shit in two weeks, Tessa.” “I haven’t been playing sports. I don’t need as much,” she said, defending herself. “Okay, as your friend, I am telling you that you’ve lost weight. Before you know it, those are going to
disappear.” He pointed to her boobs and she slapped his hand. They laughed. “Come eat lunch with me,” he asked. “Please?” He gave her puppy dog eyes and stuck put his lower lip. “Fine.’ He grinned and held the door open for her. She jumped in the SUV and he got in and buckled. He stared at her. “What?” she asked. “Buckle up, baby,” he said. She rolled her eyes. “Sorry. Buckle up, TT.” *** They drove to town and stopped at the pizza place. He ordered for both of them, brought her milk, and opened it and put a straw in it. “Does the body good.” He winked. He brought back a large chicken salad sub and two slices of cheese pizza. He put a plate in front of her and half the sub. She took a deep breath. She really had not eaten much in the past couple weeks and she knew she couldn’t eat all that. “Tessa, just eat what you can,” he whispered. She took a bite. It tasted good. She smiled and chewed obnoxiously while he watched her. He laughed. “Is it okay?” “It’s good, thank you.” She ate half of it and sat back and finished her milk. She watched him eat, and he crossed his eyes, she smirked and got up and went to the counter. “Hey, can I get some paper to wrap the food up, and a bag, please?” “Anything else you want, Tessa? My number maybe?” Matt winked. She shook her head. “One of these days you’re going to accept and make me the happiest boy in the world,” he said. “Don’t plan on it,” she laughed. She walked back to the table. Lucas was glaring at the kid behind the counter. “Who is that?” “The boy I’m going to give myself to first,” she whispered. He turned toward her and scowled. “Not funny, Tessa,” he said. “You’re my friend, right? So maybe we should be able to talk about stuff like this. What do you think?” “I think no,” he said. She was still laughing when they got to the car. “What?” he asked. He buckled the seat belt and waited for her to. She looked at him. “What to you?” He reached over, grabbed her seat belt, and buckled it. “You’re a little obsessed with my seat belt.” “You’re the one who wakes me up screaming every night after that dream you have,” Lucas said, looking away. “I haven’t had that dream in a couple weeks.” “You’ve had it every night,” he looked serious. “Oh, I didn’t know,” she said quietly. “The first night I left it alone, and the next day Kendall asked me why I didn’t help you anymore. She looked at me like she was pissed — you know, a lot like you do most of the time.” He smiled. “So I’ve come in every night at about 2:30 in the morning. You really don’t remember this?” “No,” she said quietly. “Well, we have had some fantastic conversations.” “Like what?” she asked. “I’ll never tell.” He raised his eyebrow.
“That’s not fair.” She looked away from him. “No, what’s not fair is the things you say and ask me to do to you while you’re sleeping,” he laughed. “Like what,” she gasped. “You getting mad, TT?” he asked. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Let’s just say you’re in safe hands, even when I have to pull them away from your body as you ask me to, well, you are an absolute dream in your sleep.” “Has anything happened?” she asked softly. “No, baby. I would prefer you coherent, but my hands have been very close to your heart for many nights, and you won’t let them go,” he said softly. “You also say some pretty sweet things in your sleep.” “Hey, Lucas?” she swallowed hard. “Yes, Tessa,” he responded. “I’m very embarrassed, but thank you. Do I talk about what’s bugging me?” “Just four people in an accident, that’s all you’ve said besides you love me. And you make me promise to be safe,” he said softly. “Every night?” “Every. Single. Night.” “How long does it last?” “Until I hold you, kiss you, and you fall asleep,” he said. “So when do you leave my room?” “When I wake up an hour or so later,” he said softly. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Can you do me a favor?” “Anything,” he said. “Can you wake me up next time?” “If I have to.” “Thank you.” She remembered some of the dreams about the accidents, and the erotic ones about him. She blushed and was quiet. “Tessa, that’s all okay?” he said reassuringly. “You sure?” Lucas nodded. “So you’re not playing basketball?” he asked changing the subject. “Nope, the musical.” “So that’s where you go every night?” He laughed, as if he didn’t know that already, “Evita.” “That’s me,” she smiled. “I can’t wait to see you on stage. Who is the lead guy?” “The pizza boy,” she said laughing. He groaned shaking his head. “No shit?” “None,” she laughed. “Maybe now is a good time for me to give you some advice about boys, since I am your friend and all.” “Okay, let’s start with the pizza boy,” she suggested. “No, that wouldn’t work; he would bore you to death. He’s the exact opposite of me, I mean, of what you need.” He smiled. “So what do I need? And do you really want me to meet someone like you?” she asked. “That’s two questions and we are not talking about your ex. He pisses me off,” Lucas chuckled. “Okay, then what do I need?” “Well let me see... let’s start with the obvious. Someone who like’s sports, you are competitive and
would be very bored with a science geek or a boy who sings and dances on stage as a way to meet girls. You need someone who is fit, because you apparently like boys that are in shape.” “Oh, yeah? What makes you think that?” she asked, smiling. “There’s only three guys I have seen you look at twice; that LL guy, he’s smoking hot. GI Joe, although he’s way too old for you. And that Ben character,” he said. “However, if you can kick his ass at archery, you would easily tire of him.” Tessa giggled and he continued. “Someone who likes music and can move.” He grinned. “They have to be intelligent. Someone who is funny. Your laugh Tessa should never be stopped, it’s infectious. It has to be someone who shares your values and loves family. Someone to let you explore who you are and when you’re ready and sober, to explore them. They have to love to talk or at least love you enough to listen. They need to enjoy every part of you. From your perfect face, flawless skin, tight body, eyes they could sink into forever and perfect hair that just begs their hands to touch it, to your wit and voice and even your little tantrums. If they don’t crave you every second of everyday, they don’t deserve you. If they succeed in life and they don’t search for you to share that with them, they don’t deserve you. If they don’t need you by their side during every part of life, they don’t deserve you. If when they fuck up they don’t love you enough to let you go, they don’t deserve you.” He looked at her like she was the only thing on the planet that mattered. His eyes burned through her, and she finally breathed. Every part of her wanted him. How the hell is that possible, she thought. She was breathing harder and faster. She wanted to kiss him and never stop. She clenched her jaw and finally looked away. He started the car and reversed, but Sadi had pulled up behind him. She got out of the car and started hitting his window. “What’s going on?” Sadi asked Lucas. “Holy buzz kill,” Tessa let out. He smirked at Tessa. “Just had lunch with my friend, Tessa. You two have met, right?” he asked coldly. “So does she know?” she asked again. “She knows everything, absolutely everything,” Lucas said. “He’s having a baby with me, farm girl,” she yelled. Tessa leaned forward and smiled. “I am well aware of it, Sadi.” “What the fuck do you think you’re doing with him?” she yelled. “He just told; you we had lunch, we’re friends. Do you understand that? Shit, Sadi… I was hoping you and I could be buddies, with all that crying you did on my shoulder and the shocking confessional and all. I really was hoping we could all hang out sometime. Oh, and I was hoping for an invite to the baby shower.” She sat back, trying her best to hold it together. “Fuck you, white trash. I wouldn’t invite you to a rock fight,” Sadi yelled. “Hey Sadi, do you have any parenting books? You should know that all this stress is not good for your baby,” Tessa was getting angry now. “So if you give a fuck about that little life growing in your belly, you may try to get into a yoga class or something to teach you how to relax. Lucas and I are friends. I plan to stay that way, and you need to accept it. I’m not like you; you have nothing to worry about. He will be a good dad if you don’t drive him over the edge, so just leave us the fuck alone.” “Tessa,” Lucas whispered, “don’t waste your breath.” “Lay with pigs Lucas, and you’ll start smelling like them,” Sadi yelled. “I think that’s bullshit. He doesn’t smell like a crazy ass whore,” Tessa screamed and started to open the door. Lucas reached across Tessa and held her in the car. “Sadi, move your car now.” They sat in his SUV while Sadi peeled out of the parking spot. Lucas looked at Tessa. He hated the constant pain he caused her. He certainly didn’t deserve her. How could he?
“You okay, Tessa?” he asked quietly as he backed out. “Fuck, no!” she yelled. “Who the fuck is she? The farm girl remarks were already getting old and now white trash?” “I’m sorry she makes you feel bad, and I’m sorry I brought you into this mess,” he held her hand. “This is okay, right? I’m trying to comfort you now.” “Yes, as a matter a fact, why don’t you go pull in her front lawn so I can fuck you on the hood of your car until your eyes pop out. That stupid bitch can watch.” She looked down, shocked at her behavior. “Will that make you feel better?” he asked, trying not to laugh. Tessa looked at him and let out a breath. They both laughed. “I mean, Tessa anything I can do to help, I will, but could you stop right before my eyes pop out?” he asked. “Please, cause I really would love to watch your face when you…” She interrupted him. “Where are we going?” “I am only doing what I was asked.” He smiled. “Now try to calm yourself. Here, pick some music,” he said, handing her his iPod. She leaned back and cranked up Steve Miller. “Nice, Lucas,” she said admiring his music. She closed her eyes and sang along. She opened her eyes as they pulled into his house. “I will be right back. I need to grab a few things.” “Do you need help?” “No, thank you. We are friends and all, but I don’t think I need you in my bedroom unsupervised. I don’t think I could trust myself,” Lucas said seriously. He came out with a brief case. “What’s this?” “Banking stuff and bills.” He headed in the opposite direction than they needed to go. “Where are we going now?” “Do you have plans?” Tessa shook her head. “Good, can we go grocery shopping together?” “Sure, I guess.” “Okay, I want you to check out the third house on the left, up here,” Lucas pointed. She looked and saw a tiny white ranch with a small garage attached to it. It sat on about a quarter acre. “Okay, why?” “That’s Sadi’s house,” Lucas said. “She lives there with her mother and younger brother. Her mom works two crap jobs to be able to pay the mortgage and provide for her very spoiled, expectant child. Sadi is mean as shit to her. Should I turn around and park on the front lawn?” he asked, grinning. “She lives close to you,” Tessa said, feeling a bit jealous. “Yes, she does. I used to pick her up for school every morning and she blew me all the way there,” he said quietly. “Wow, TMI.” “No, Tessa that was honesty, the basis of our relationship. Sadi’s not nice, funny, kind, or caring. I was always with her for sex, and companionship, I suppose. When she got pregnant after missing her pills — the ones I took her to get every month — I knew I wanted more than that for my child. She was pissed because she would have responsibilities. She hit me a few times, and I got sick of her shit. I tried to love her… well, the best I knew how, and she just whined and took pity on herself. It got old. We broke up, I called the girls, she drove by and saw Jamie’s car and walked in on our um… party,” Lucas said. “The rest you already know. My point here was not to tell you all that but to show you; you have absolutely no reason to get upset when she makes the farm girl cracks. Alright? She has nothing on you. Nothing.” “You’re beautiful,” she said and immediately wanted to take it back. “And you ,Tessa Ross, made me that way in less than three months. The day I saw you getting out of the pond, the very first time, I knew I wanted you. The way you seemed annoyed with me was not a
reaction I ever got from any girl, which made me want you more. And then when I saw you at the farm, I offered to do hay just so I could see you. I truly saw who you were and I believe that day was the day I knew I loved you.” Lucas smiled at her. “So now with all this, I know what I have to do for my child. I have to try to figure it all out and make life okay for that little life so that he or she can someday hopefully be half as perfect as you. And that means I lose what I want more than anything in this world.” Tessa was numb again, then she felt the lump in her throat and she asked him to pull over and he did. “You okay?” “No!” she yelled. “I am not okay. I am crushed and I am even more in love with you now than ever. I just want to scream and cry and I don’t know… I need this pain to go away, Lucas. I love you and it hurts so bad to love you.” He had tears in his eyes as he watched her struggle. “I can make it easier for you. I can make you hate me,” he said. “I’m good at that.” She climbed over the console and sat on his lap and hugged him. He hugged her back. They sat like that for almost an hour. She finally stopped crying and sat up and kissed his lips gently. “I could never hate you,” Tessa whispered as she climbed off his lap. “Tessa, what can I do?” “Be the best you can be,” she said. “Be my friend, always.” “Done,” he grabbed her hand. *** They went grocery shopping and went home to put everything away. Jade texted her saying she needed to talk. She asked if Tessa could meet her at camp. Lucas drove her up and went inside as the girls sat on the dock and talked. “Tessa, we did it,” Jade said. “You did what?” “Tommy and I made love,” Jade said smiling. “When?” Tessa asked in shock. “Last night, and it was amazing. Painful at first, but amazing,” Jade said, smiling. “Are you okay?” “Perfectly fine, but now I want him more,” Jade laughed. “Are you on the pill?” “Of course not. I would have told you. It wasn’t planned,” Jade said. “He used a condom.” “So how was it not planned and he was still prepared?” “He wasn’t. I was,” Jade laughed. “Jade!” Tessa scolded. “I have been asking him for weeks, and finally he said yes. He’s VERY big, Tessa,” she said, her eyes wide. Jade and Tommy already talked about getting married. Tessa knew Jade and Tommy were perfect for each other. She just wished she would’ve waited, which seemed pretty ironic coming from her. Tessa told her what happened with Lucas as they walked back to camp. “I hate that girl,” Jade hissed. Lucas was at the back of the camp and they sat talking on the porch. He could hear everything they said. “That girl is going to have Lucas’s baby. I want her to be okay,” Tessa said quietly. “So I’m going to ask you to be nice to her. If she sees kindness, maybe she can be a decent mom to her child, to Lucas’s child. It’s part of Lucas, and I love him, Jade. I know he can be an amazing father.” “Are you going to be nice to her?” “I am going to tolerate her. It pretty much depends on how much shit I can take, but for him, I’ll try,”
Tessa said. “And I need to move on. I think that would be easier for us both.” It stung, but Lucas knew she was right. If someone else was good to her, how could he ask for anything else? Tessa’s happiness was important to him, more than he could have ever imagined.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE Tessa woke up feeling like she hadn’t slept at all. She went downstairs and made sausage gravy; the biscuits were in the oven. She threw her hair up in a bun, popped in her Bambi VHS tape, and plopped on the couch. She sat and watched it as the guys came down the stairs one by one. They all walked into the kitchen. “What is she watching,” Ben asked, smiling. “Bambi. She’s watched it every year on opening day since she was four,” Alex rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t like hunting but she likes guns and bows. Weird huh?” Lucas walked in and sat next to her. “Good movie?” She smirked at him and winked. Ben walked in and handed her and Lucas plates, then sat on the other side of her. “Good morning, Tess. Thanks for breakfast. Is this venison sausage?” Ben asked. “Nope,” she said and gave him a dirty look. “You guys out, cause I can get you a whole freezer full probably within the next few days,” Ben smiled at her and she smacked him in the stomach. He laughed. “Hurt your hand, Ross?” he asked and dodged the next punch. Alex laughed, and Lucas watched as Tessa tried not to do the same. “You see, once the momma gets nailed, the baby should immediately get it. It is awful to make that baby walk around the scary woods alone; he’s going to starve anyways. Plus that is the best venison, nice and tender.” Ben jumped up just in time avoiding Tessa’s punch. They all laughed, including Tessa. Alex and Ben walked out to the kitchen to put their empty plates in the sink. “You sleep okay?” Lucas whispered. “No, I feel like garbage,” she admitted. He felt her head. “You don’t feel warm.” “I feel like I didn’t sleep,” she said and shook her head. “It’s your fault,” she whispered. “Sorry, baby.” He smirked. *** Jade dropped Tessa off at camp before lunch. She plugged in the crock pots so they would be warm for their late afternoon lunch, then walked outside and stood on the porch. Alex, Lucas, and Ben walked out of the woods first. Ben was all smiles. “Hey Tessa, did you warn Bambi to hide on me today?” She smiled and nodded. “Anyone get a deer yet?” she asked. “Lucas got four doe, but they’re kind of small,” Ben laughed. Lucas smiled and shook his head. “No, but seriously, he had three in front of him and didn’t even shoot one.” “Okay, I am already bored of this deer talk. Lunch is warming up. Give it twenty minutes. If you can’t wait, there are sandwiches in the cooler. Have fun. Lucas, can I talk you?” Tessa asked. He smiled as he ran up to her. “Do you like it?” she smirked. “You don’t have to, you know.” “It is fine. I will try it. Who knows; after I have done it once I may like it,” he said, trying not to smile. “Nice, Lucas. I am working tonight, are you still?” “Yes, why?” “I just wondered,” she bit her lip and grinned.
“What’s going on Tessa?” Lucas asked looking curiously at her. “I can’t sleep and I am tired. I just thought maybe, you could... help me out,” Tessa said smirking and grabbing his shirt. “Tessa,” he groaned. “What?” she said and stomped her foot. “I’m tired and irritable.” Lucas walked back to camp and yelled in. “Hey Alex, Tessa just reminded me we have to work tonight. I am going to take off, okay?” he said, not taking his eyes off Tessa. “Sure man, see you later. We will probably stop up for dinner,” Alex said. “Bye Ben, see you later,” Tessa yelled. “Bye Ben,” he said, mocking her. They both laughed. *** She couldn’t keep her hands off of him as he drove. They pulled into the farm, and she kissed him wildly and put her hand on him. “Tessa,” he whispered as she reached inside his pants. Half an hour later, they walked into the house. He ran up and changed and brought laundry down. He threw in a load and walked into the living room. She pushed him down on the couch, went to the bathroom, and lay next to him. She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them up. She put her back to his chest and wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep within five minutes. *** What the hell was that, he wondered? Why had she acted like that, not that he wanted to complain, but Tessa didn’t act like that. He watched her as she slept, and after a while he fell asleep, too. Lucas woke up and scooted out from behind her. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, picked up the junk mail on the counter, and threw it in the trash. He saw a bottle buried beneath some papers and pulled it out; it was cinnamon schnapps. Exactly what she tasted like. He had thought it was gum but now he knew differently. When she woke up, he handed her a couple pain relievers and some water. “Feeling better, Tessa?” Lucas asked crossing his arms in front of himself. “Yeah, a little,” Tessa said softly. “What was that all about earlier?” “I guess I missed you.” “Okay, now the truth; how did you get to camp?” “Jade dropped me off.” “Why didn’t you drive?” he asked with anger in his voice. “I wasn’t feeling well?” Tessa said, answering with a question in her voice. “Why, Tessa?” She looked at him and yelled. “Because I can’t sleep, because you’re trying to push me off on anyone you can, because life fucking sucks, Lucas! Because I can!” She stood up and he grabbed her and pushed her onto the couch. “What else you got, Tessa?” Lucas yelled back at her. “Fuck you!” she said. She stood up, and he grabbed her as she tried to get away. “Let me go!” she screamed. “Let me go, damn it!” He held her tighter until she stopped fighting and started crying. “Just let me go.” Lucas held her as she cried. “I need you to be okay,” he said softly. “Well, that’s not going to happen. It’s going to get ugly, Lucas, I promise you that,” Tessa said through
breaths. “Tessa, I need you to be safe,” Lucas said. “Oh, I will be,” she said, laughing. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Stop saying that,” Tessa yelled. “I am pretty sure this wasn’t part of some evil plan. It’s my life and right now it fucking sucks!” Tessa went into the bathroom and showered. She came out in a towel and past him up the stairs; she grabbed tight jeans and a button down shirt and put it on. She kept it low enough so that her bra showed. She came down the stairs and he was pacing back and forth. She went into the kitchen, grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and walked past him into the bathroom. He grabbed the can out of her hand. It was empty. She laughed, and he followed her into the bathroom, watching as she put on makeup and did her hair. “Does it look okay? Am I showing enough skin? You know, like the bathing suit last night, hey at the bar tonight maybe you could pick out the lucky guy I fuck tonight,” Tessa laughed. His eyes were hurt and she looked away, “unless of course you want to fuck me now,” she took her shirt off and unsnapped her bra. He turned around to walk out and she reached around him and grabbed him and squeezed gently, “Come on Lucas, don’t turn your back on me, shit in a few months, maybe less I will catch up to your dozen, then will you want me?” she asked. He pushed her hand away and walked out closing the door behind him. “It certainly won’t take four fucking years!” She walked out to the kitchen and grabbed the keys. He grabbed them out of her hands. “I need to go to work, Lucas. I get to sing tonight.” Lucas took her hand and led her to his SUV. She got in, and he buckled her seat belt before walking over to the driver’s side and pulling out of the driveway. “Wrong way, baby,” she laughed. “Look at that, we have an hour to kill before we have to be there. Maybe you could drop me off at the pizza shop and I can go fuck Pizza Boy. Someone will want me, Lucas. I have thrown myself at you and you sure don’t want me. But you go and FUCK her. Sorry I can’t live up to idea of fuckable bitches, but I am going to work on that,” she screamed. Luca didn’t look at her. He was hurt and angry, and angry that he was hurt. It killed him that she was acting like this because of him. His head was spinning and he knew there wasn’t a fucking thing he could do about it. “Lucas, where are we going?” she yelled. “To see your mother,” he said calmly. “Fuck you. I will jump out,” she said unbuckling her seat belt. He quickly pulled over and she tried to open the door. Lucas slammed it shut and she spit in his face. He slowly wiped his face. She froze. He grabbed her phone and called her mother. Tessa said nothing to Lucas and he said nothing to her. Maggie was there in five minutes. “I’m sorry about this, Mrs. Ross,” Lucas said fighting the urge to lose it. “You and me both, Lucas. Thank you,” she said and hugged him. Maggie got in the car and drove to her place in silence. Tessa’s grandmother was there with the kids. “Give us a few minutes,” her Grandmother said ad Kendall and Jake went into the living room. She looked at Tessa and asked, “Have you slept with that boy?” “No Grandma, but I sure did try.” “Shame on you,” she slapped her across the face. Tessa walked into the extra bedroom and shut the door. She laid down and texted Lucas. - I fucking hate you!...Tessa - I know…L
- No you don’t but you will…Tessa - That’s the plan…L - Who the fuck do you think you are?...Tessa. She passed out before he could reply. *** Lucas went to work. Alex came out back, “Where is Tessa?” “She’s at your Mom’s.” “Why?” “Not sure?” “Lucas, what’s going on?” “Alex, she was drunk and acting crazy. I know it’s because of the shit I have brought into her life. I didn’t know what else to do. so I tried to take her there. She threatened and tried to jump out of the car. I pulled over and called Maggie. Your aunt thinks Tessa is sick. You decide whether or not to tell your dad. I am taking off for a couple days, going to stay with my dad. Then I need to talk to the judge and convince him I can stay at home. I can’t do this shit to her anymore, Alex. I love her and it’s fucking shattering her.” Lucas was about ready to break down when Ben walked in. “Hey, where is Tess?” “She didn’t feel well, so Lucas took her to Mom’s,” Alex said. “I’ll be out in a minute, okay?” Alex waited until Ben left the kitchen. “You sure you can miss school, man?” “I have only missed two and a half days. If you could text me the assignments, I think I’ll be okay,” Lucas said. “Sure,” Alex said. “You know this isn’t your fault, right?” Lucas smiled sadly. “Then whose is it?” *** Tessa went home with Jade after church. “You okay Tessa?” “Nope, but I will be.” Tessa ran upstairs. Lucas’s bed had not been slept in, and some of his things were gone. She ran downstairs. “He’s not here.” “Tessa, he went to visit his father,” Jade said. “He’s going to stay there for a couple of days, and he’s going to try to talk to the Judge and see if he can go home. He’s hurting, and more than anything that’s going on, he’s hurting because he hurt you.” “How do you know this?” Tessa cried. “Tommy talked to him last night,” Jade said. “Tessa you need to walk away. This is breaking you.” “If he leaves, I will fall apart, Jade. I love him,” she cried. “No Tessa, you won’t. You’ll be fine.” Tessa grabbed her phone and called Lucas. “Hello,” he answered immediately. She hung up. Jade smiled. “Tessa, you do know about caller ID right?” Tessa’s phone rang. “Hello.” “What’s up, Tessa?” Lucas asked in a clipped tone. She began to cry. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I am so sorry.” “It’s all good, Tessa.” Lucas’s voice sounded deadly cold. “When will you be back?” she asked. “In a couple days.”
“I want to see you now,” Tessa said as her voice cracked. “Sorry, Tessa,” he said. “You hate me?” she asked. “No, but you told me you hated me, or no, fucking hated me, not too long after you spit in my face,” he said. She could tell he was livid. “You took me to my mother drunk,” she snapped. “You were acting like my mother on a bad night,” he laughed. “What did you want me to do? Oh that’s right, drop you off to the Pizza Boy so he could fuck you?” “You’re being mean,” Tessa said softly. “Yep.” “You’re trying to make me hate you,” she whispered. “It’ll happen anyways.” “You know, I wish I recorded the stuff you said to me when I finally talked to you after two fucking weeks that started this shit again. I was doing fine,” Tessa yelled. “I wish you recorded it too, because you’re certainly not living up to your end of that conversation. Actually, you’re acting like a crazy ex,” Lucas hissed. “And you just shattered my already broken heart,” Tessa said. “Anything else, Tessa?” “Drive safe when you come home… asshole,” she whispered softly. “Will do. Is that it?” “No.” “Then let’s have it. Come on, TT. Let me have it,” Lucas breathed out. “I love you,” she cried. “Damn it, Tessa.” She heard him take a deep breath. “Goodbye.” *** Lucas walked into the bathroom and knelt down and breathed deeply, this is what it feels like he thought. The tearing pain that would not go away. This is what heartbreak felt like sober. It sucked. *** Tessa fell asleep before the guys came home. She woke up screaming at 2:30 and Ben came in. “Tessa wake up sweetheart,” he picked her up and rocked her, she hugged him and kissed him. “I’m sorry,” she repeated over and over again. He started to sing to her and she relaxed. He put her down and she began to cry. “Please don’t go. She needs you,” Kendall said. He sat her up and laid her head on his chest and he played with her hair and sang to her until he fell asleep. *** Ben woke up in the morning and looked at he. “Hey, Tess,” he said. “Good morning.” She jumped up. “Hello,” she said. “I’m sorry.” “From what I understand, it comes with the territory,” Ben smiled. “Did I... I mean, can you tell me what happened?” He told her what she did and said, and that he had sang to her. “What did you sing?” she asked, curious. “Small Town, a Pearl Jam song,” Ben laughed. “I love that song.”
“Well, maybe we need to try music at night,” Ben suggested. “Maybe you could start that when I leave. I kind of like kissing you.” “Kind of?” “By the end of the week, I hope to know what it’s like when you’re awake.” “You know I am a train wreck, right?” “So you keep telling me,” Ben smiled. “We can fix that. What time do you have to be at school?” “Eight, why?” Ben laughed. “It’s seven fifteen.” “Where is Alex?” she asked as she ran out the door. Ben followed her down the stairs. “I assume in the woods. Get ready; I will take you there.” Tessa showered and got dressed. She quickly put on some make up and brushed her teeth. She was drying her hair when Ben walked in. She smiled and flipped her hair over to dry the back. Ben sat on the floor and fed her fruit. When she was done drying her hair, she went to put it in a ponytail. “Are you crazy,” Ben said. “Leave it down, Tess. It’s gorgeous.” He ran his hand through it. Ben took her hand, walked out of the bathroom, into the kitchen and grabbed the bagel and water bottle off the counter, “Let’s get you to school.” He opened the door for her and shut it behind her. Ben jumped in and drove down the road. He told her to eat the bagel and she did. He pulled in the school, jumped out, opened the door for her and hugged her. “Whore,” Sadi sneered as she walked by. “Good at it,” Tessa yelled to her. “Really?” Ben said, laughing. “No, not really. Ben, you should know I have kissed two guys, and well now three, although I don’t remember your kiss. I have never even had sex,” she said. “So no I am not a whore, but if that’s what she needs to think, then I will let her.” “What’s her name?” Ben asked. She told him. “Hey, Sadi!” he yelled “Check this out!” Ben pulled Tessa into him and pulled her hair gently back and kissed her. Slow soft kisses. His lips tasted like mint, and he was a damn good kisser. He didn’t stop either; he kissed her until she felt dizzy. She kissed him back, and he moaned, then pulled away. “Nice, Tess,” he said. Ben pulled her back to him and kissed her again “Do you have to go to school or can you stay home and do that with me all day?” he asked breathlessly. “Ben, that was…” She smiled. “I have to go to school.” “When are you done?” *** She walked into school as she sent Lucas a message - kissed the boy while I woke screaming last night, you weren’t there. Kissed the boy when he dropped me off at school today, you weren’t there. Probably tonight when I scream I’ll be thinking of you and do more than kiss the boy. That should make you very happy. And maybe by then I won’t hurt each time I kiss the boy because I am missing you. Lucas read the message and felt just as he knew he should, like someone had kicked him in the heart. ***
Ben pulled in to pick up Tessa after school. He was leaning against the truck, waiting for her, when Sadi walked out. “You’re Tessa’s new friend?” Sadi asked him. Ben narrowed his eyes and smiled. “You the bitch that was talking shit to her this morning?” “Well, that wasn’t very nice,” Sadi smiled. “You don’t seem like the type that nice, Sadi is it?” Ben said, looking past her for Tessa. “I prefer bitch, thank you. What’s your name?” she laughed. “I prefer that you leave her alone, and that’s none of your business,” Ben sneered. “The farm girl seems to get all in my business, so I am just returning the favor,” she smiled. “Lucas is my business. Keep her away from him and I just may leave her alone.” “Lucas is a big boy. I think he can take care of himself,” Ben said, finally looking at her. She rubbed her belly. “In a few short months, he’ll be taking care of more than just himself.” “Oh, now I see; you’re pregnant?” Ben chuckled. “Yep, and he and I will be happy as long as you take care of the trash,” Sadi said. “You know, that’s no way to keep a guy,” he said. “Well, now that’s none of your business, is it?” Sadi smiled. “Hey Ben, is she bugging you?” Tessa called from behind Sadi. “No Tess, she isn’t. I feel sorry for her skank ass though. And even more sorry for our friend Lucas,” Ben laughed. He grabbed her bag and kissed her cheek. “You ready to go?” “Oh, look at you two; someday you’ll probably be raising pigs together on that farm of yours,” Sadi said. “And you’ll be living with your Momma in a dump with a baby that Lucas didn’t want as he ruins his life for a bitch like you.” Tessa opened the door to get in. Sadi grabbed her hair and scratched at her face. Ben pulled Sadi off of her. “Get in, Tess, she isn’t worth it,” he said as he carried Sadi over to the girls standing and watching it all go down. “You ladies want to take care of this shit?” he set her down next to the crowd of cheerleaders. Ben opened the back door of his truck and grabbed a First Aid kit. He wiped the blood off Tessa’s face. It was very close to her eye, and she tensed up as he dabbed at the wound. “Sorry Tess, just don’t want to see you catch whatever it is that rabid bitch may have,” Ben said as he cleaned her up. Ben got in the truck and pulled her over to him. He kissed her face where Sadi had scratched her. “Thanks, Ben.” “So you and Lucas broke up because that nasty thing is pregnant?” “She told you?” Tessa asked. “Yep, like it was some sort of victory,” Ben said. “Damn, I feel sorry for that kid, and for Lucas.” “Me too,” she said softly. “Is he sure she’s pregnant?” Ben asked as they approached the stop sign. “What do you mean? He had sex with her, and I guess she showed him a test,” Tessa said. “I mean has he been to the doctor with her?” “No I don’t think so.” “As crazy as her ass is, I can’t believe he slept with her. And as smart as he seems, he should have more proof than a damn stick that she may or may not have pissed on.” He pulled into the driveway and jumped out and opened her door. He kissed her head. “You wanna go to camp and see what I got today?” he asked, smiling. “Does it have horns?” she asked. “No, spots and a pacifier still in its mouth,” Ben laughed as she smacked him. “Then no,” she said as she stomped in the house.
“When do you get home tonight?” Ben called after her. “About nine!” “See you then,” Ben yelled. “Hot tub date?” “I’m mad at you, remember?” “You’ll get over it,” Ben said. *** Tessa walked inside and texted Lucas. - you need to come home and put that bitch on a leash…Tessa She fixed her hair and took off her sweater, then took a picture of her face and sent it to him. Two minutes later her phone rang. “Who did that to you, ba…Tessa?” “Sadi.” “Are you okay?” he asked. He sounded angry. “No,” she swallowed hard. “What happened, Tessa?” His tone much softer than before. She was quiet and he could tell she was trying to calm herself down. He waited for her reply. She told him what happened. “Lucas, have you gone to the doctor with her?” “No, why?” Lucas asked confused. “What if she’s not really pregnant?” “Tessa, I wish that were true.” “Okay, well, I just think you should,” she suggested softly. “You going to be okay?” “Are you?” “I have to be and so do you.” “Ok, then. I miss you and I’m sorry for the other day. Can you please come home?” she asked softly. “I will see you soon, Tessa. Goodbye.” *** Tessa woke from a nap to find Ben standing in her doorway. “Hey, Tess,” Ben said from the doorway. “You asleep?” “I was.” “No hot tub then?” Ben asked and smiled. She raised her eyebrow at him. “Not with a Bambi killer.” Ben laughed. “Hey, I made you a CD,” he said. “You know, to help you sleep.” “Come in, Bambi slayer.” She patted the bed. He walked in and popped it in her CD player, “We can set it up on your iPod tomorrow.” “No, let’s do it now.” She got up, and they walked downstairs. “Hey Tessa, did Ben tell you he got a six point today?” Alex asked. “No, he told me he killed Bambi.” “Your sister’s hot when she’s pissed. I couldn’t help myself,” Ben admitted. They all laughed. They downloaded the disk and set it up on her iPod. The boys ate and went to bed. Tessa put in her earplugs and lay on the couch. She smiled at the music; it was very soft and sweet. She switched to the Lucas playlist and cried softly as she listened to the last two he had added, remembering the beautiful day they spent and the words she wished he had never said to her.
*** Tessa woke up and looked around, Lucas was sitting at the foot of the couch with her feet resting on them. In her dream, she sat up and he looked at her. She crawled on his lap and touched his face. She kissed him and he kissed her back. She took off his shirt and kissed his chest. She moved back to his lips. She whispered, “Don’t wake up Tessa,” over and over between kisses. She took his hands and placed one on her back and held the other to her chest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She smelled him. “I love you, Lucas,” she whispered as she kissed his neck. “Run away with me.” She kissed his chest and lay against him. “I love you. Please don’t ever leave me again.” Her tears fell onto his chest.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR The week at school flew and Friday night the hunters started pulling in. Jade, Tessa, and Phoebe, made all sorts of food for them to graze on. Tessa always loved the weekend before shotgun season; they played cards and listened to music and listened to the men tell their tall tales. Ben and his father were the last to show up, “Hello Tess,” Ben said smiling. “Hey Ben, how was your trip up?” Tessa asked, as she cut up carrots. “Well worth it,” Ben said softly, smiling. Tessa’s phone chimed and she pulled it out of her pocket - Damn Tessa could you at least look at the poor guy? This is painful to watch...LYA …LL She laughed and looked around for Lucas. He winked at her and texted her again. - Let’s see your moves girl…LYA…LL She looked back at Ben. “Sorry about that,” she said, smiling at him. He wore an under armor shirt, gray long sleeves, loose fitting jeans, and a gray knit cap that had a few loose light brown curls escaping the cap. Ben’s eyes were brown with gold flecks, his lips full and very pink. His skin was perfect, and he was tall and built. “Look at you, out of that football uniform and all grown up.” - much better Tessa Ross…LYA…LL “So I brought my bow,” Ben said rubbing his head. “Want to take a walk?” “It’s kind of dark out, don’t you think?” “Uh- huh,” he smiled, flashing his perfect teeth and a deep dimple she had not noticed until now. “You want to shoot in the dark?” Tessa asked, confused. “Not really,” he laughed, “but I do need to grab some more stuff out of my truck. Walk with me.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door. Ben had his arms full and Tessa carried nothing, she held the door for him. They were laughing when they walked in. Lucas stopped paced the floor when they return. “Do you play pitch, Ben?” Tessa asked as he sat his bags on the counter. “Sounds super fun, Tessa. Can I play?” Lucas asked, grinning obnoxiously. “Of course,” she said. They sat at one of the tables and Becca joined them. Ben sat next to Tessa and Lucas across from her. “So Ben,” Lucas said, “do you have a girlfriend?” “No,” Ben smiled at Tessa, seemingly oblivious to who may be watching him. “Okay, so we all know how to play right?” Tessa asked. “Nicely.” Ben smiled at her. “Of course. Lucas will be my partner and Becca will be yours, got it?” Tessa asked as she dealt the cards. “Ben, have you ever had a girlfriend?” Lucas asked in a serious tone. “A few. How about you?” Ben asked smirking. Tessa laughed. “A few as well, huh, Lucas?” “Not really. Only dated two, just fucked the others,” he said “two to you Ben, how long did you date your girlfriends?”
Ben laughed, “Um let’s see one for a year and the others for about six months.” “Did you have sex with them,” Lucas asked. “Yes actually. Sorry no pictures or videos to share,” Ben laughed. Tessa laughed and looked at Lucas. What was he doing? Then she realized this was who Lucas wanted people to see. He even acted this way when they first met. It was him shield. “You play basketball?” Lucas asked. “Yep, love the game,” Ben smiled. “And you?” “Football is my thing,” he said and smiled back, “But I think you already know that.” “I do, So Tessa, are you playing any winter sports?” Ben asked. “Nope, I am up to my elbows in Evita,” she smiled. “Come again?” Ben laughed. Tessa looked at Lucas and grinned. “It’s our school musical.” “Tessa has the lead,” Becca explained. “You sing?” Ben asked. “I do,” Tessa replied. “Awesome, I play guitar,” he said. Tessa looked down, not wanting to see Lucas’s expression. “Do you go to church, Ben?” Becca asked. “Yep, not as much as I should, but I do.” Ben smiled politely at Becca. Lucas threw down two jacks and they took four points. “Are we done now?” “No man, we play to fifteen.” Ben smiled and pointed to Lucas’s seat. “I’m not done with you yet.” Tessa laughed and looked at Lucas, who was clearly annoyed. She bit her cheeks to try to stop. “Hey Lucas, can we do this?” “Absolutely,” Lucas said as he sat. “Good,” she said. “I like this game. So Ben do you dance?” “A little,” he said smirking. “I bid three.” “I go four,” Lucas said immediately not waiting his turn or looking at his cards. Tessa and Becca laughed. Lucas led with the queen of hearts, and smiled at Tessa who looked terrified, she threw the two, Ben a seven and Becca could not follow suit. Lucas threw the King of hearts, Tessa the ten, and Ben the eight. Tessa looked at Lucas and laughed. He threw six, Ben threw a jack and smiled, Tessa threw the ace. They all laughed. When the game was over Lucas got up and walked away. “So Tess, how long did you two date?” Ben asked, smiling. “Not long.” “Long enough? I mean, are you done with it?” Ben asked, thoughtfully. She looked him in the eyes. “Yes, but we’re still friends.” “That’s it?” “Yep.” “Good. He’s not going to get all crazy on me, is he? I would hate to have to kick his ass in front of you.” Ben winked. She laughed. “No he’s a good guy.” “Go for a walk with me?” “Sure,” she said. They walked down to the pond. “I have to tell you, Tessa; I have been crushing on you since I was about five,” Ben laughed. “Oh, yeah?” she said. “So where were you three months ago?” He laughed. “When you’re available, and if you’re interested, let me know.”
“I will definitely keep that in mind,” she said. “In the meantime, tell me about yourself, Ben.” Ben smiled. “Ask me anything you want. I am an open book.” “Okay, let’s walk; favorite subject?” Tessa asked. They walked back down to the cabin as she asked him several questions. Ben’s favorite subject was science, his favorite color was green, his favorite sport to play was basketball, he loves water sports, music, racing dirt bike, hanging out with his boys, he went to church camp every summer until his sophomore year, his parents were still together, none of his relationships ended badly, all in fact because the girls moved. He didn’t feel the need to keep in contact with them but was friends with them on Facebook which he reminded her she had not accepted his request yet. They walked in and grabbed a drink and walked back out to the porch, Ben sat down. “Your turn, Tessa. I want to know everything.” She felt comfortable enough to tell him about everything except that she loved Lucas. They went inside smiling, Alex invited Ben to stay at the house and join them in the hot tub. “If Tess doesn’t mind, I would love to,” Ben said. “Sounds like fun,” Tessa smiled. “I’ll meet you guys there.” she cleaned up in the camp. Lucas had already started cleaning off the counter. “How’s it going?” Lucas asked, avoiding eye contact. “Alright,” Tessa said softly. “Cool.” “I’m in no hurry, Lucas. I’m still not over my ex,” Tessa said, moving in front of him so he had to look at her. “I am alright, Tessa, okay?” he said, looking quickly at her. “Then take me home and get in the hot tub with us,” she stomped her foot. “Okay,” he said. He double bagged the garbage and threw it in the back of his SUV. They pulled in and Lucas dropped her by the door, then drove out back to put the garbage in the dumpster. *** When he went inside Tessa was coming out with swim shorts and a long- sleeved rash guard l top. He laughed as he walked by. “What,” she asked. “That’s a lot of clothes for a hot tub,” he said as he bound up the stairs. Tessa ran up behind him. “Fine! I really feel like you’re trying to whore me out!” She took the shirt off and threw it at him; he looked over and saw her bare back, then stood and watched as she slipped a top over her head and tried to tie it. She stomped her foot. “Let me get that,” he said softly. His hot breath hit the back of her neck. “I just want you to be happy.” Lucas spun her around and kissed the top of her head. He looked down and pulled her top up a bit. “Perfect,” he said. She stared at him. “Go Tessa, I’ll be out in a few minutes.” She walked outside and got in the hot tub. “Sit here, Tess,” Ben said, standing up and reaching for her hand. Shit, she thought, he is perfect! Alex turned on the music, and after a couple songs Lucas came out and brought everyone drinks. He opened Tessa’s before he handed it to her. They all thanked him. He stepped in and Tessa put a towel over her face. “So you guys hunting all week?” Ben asked. “I will go out before school and after practice,” Alex said. “How about you, Lucas?” Ben asked. Lucas sat down. “I’m not sure yet. This is my first year, gotta see how I like it.”
“Nice, I bet you’ll love it,” Ben said. “Hey Tessa, you still cry if someone shoots a doe?” “Yes,” she smiled. “Actually, no. I don’t care.” “Yes, she does,” Alex laughed. “She just doesn’t try to beat us up anymore. Oh, and Bambi is completely off limits.” She took the towel off her face and splashed Alex. Tessa looked at Lucas. His eyes were twinkling. She put the towel back over her face and laid back. Alex turned up the music and Two Princes by the Black Crows started playing. Ben laughed. He has a good laugh. Tessa bit her lip and tried not to smile. “Tessa, why aren’t you singing tonight?” Lucas asked with a smile in his voice. “You always sing.” “Come on, Tessa! Let’s hear you sing,” Ben said. “Seriously? Is this eighth grade or a Broadway production,” she giggled. “I’m good.” The song ended and she took the towel off her head and sat up. She took a sip of her soda. “You boys need to be up early, don’t stay out here too late.” Tessa stood up and walked past them, she stepped out of the hot tub and walked inside. “Do you know how disturbing it is to watch you two checking her out like that?” Alex asked. They looked at each other. “If she wasn’t your sister, you’d be doing it too,” Ben chuckled. “Alright, that’s my queue. Lucas you can close this up, right?” Alex asked. “Yep, see you inside.” “Well, this is uncomfortable,” Ben laughed. “I don’t think so,” Lucas looked him without reaction. “As soon as you left the game I asked Tessa how long you two dated.” “She and I are friends; as long as you’re a good guy, I am cool with that. I just want her be happy, man. She’s special,” Lucas warned. “What happened with you two?” Ben asked. “She didn’t tell you?” “No.” “She deserves better,” Lucas looked away. “Says you or her?” “Me,” Lucas said curtly. “Alright then, no rush here.” “Good,” Lucas said. “She deserves the best, Ben.” “Agreed,” he stuck out his hand. Lucas shook it. “You sure you’re done?” “Yes,” Lucas cleared his throat. As if I have a choice, he thought. “Okay, I don’t want to be the rebound. I can wait,” he said. “You live here man?” “Only until after the holidays,” Lucas answered. *** They went inside and Tessa was sitting at the computer on Facebook. Ben leaned over her and clicked on friend requests, he clicked on his name, “You take it from here Ross,” she pushed accept. He sat down next to her and dried his hair with the towel. “Click on my page, I will show you around.” Tessa clicked on his page and went straight to pictures, he showed her his best friends and she saw him in a band. “You have a band?” “Sure do,” Ben smiled. “You sing?” “Some of the songs but I also play the guitar,” he smiled. “You’ll have to come see us sometime.” “I’d like that.” Ben showed her his mother, his ex- girlfriends and some pictures of him being crowned Homecoming
king. She laughed and Lucas came into the kitchen still in his swim bottoms, he washed out his glass and put it in the strainer. “Hey Lucas, Ben was homecoming king too,” she laughed. “Cool, three for three Tessa,” he messed up her hair as he walked by. “What’s that about?” Ben asked smiling. She clicked on her page and showed him Toby, “This is Toby, possibly my future husband.” She laughed, “He was my date to homecoming. He was homecoming king three years ago.” “Nice Tess, you deserve royalty,” Ben smiled. *** They all went to bed without alarms, John stayed at camp. Like clockwork, she woke at around 2:30 and Lucas went in. He had promised her a couple weeks ago he would wake her and he decided he should in case Ben woke up hearing her. “Tessa you’re okay, wake up,” Lucas said. “Everything okay?” Ben asked sleepily as he walked in. “Yep she does this every night, she has for a few weeks,” Lucas said. “Tessa wake up, you’re okay, everyone is fine,” she started crying, he started to pick her up and looked at Ben. “You wanna take care if this?” “Sure I guess,” Ben said looking confused. “You have to pick her up,” Lucas said and he did, she grabbed his neck and cried softly. “You may want to talk to her and try to calm her down,” Lucas instructed anxiously. Ben sat “Tess wake up girl,” he said. She opened her eyes, “she’s awake.” “No she’s not, she will probably kiss you,” Lucas warned him, and probably say my name he thought. She did and he slowly pulled away, “Dude this is odd.” “I can leave,” Lucas said. Fuck that he thought. “Tessa wake up,” he said and shook her lightly. “Tessa wake up,” he said in a firmer louder tone. Tessa jumped and looked around confused. She looked at Ben and then at Lucas who knelt before her, her eyes got wide; she stood up and ran down the stairs. *** She sat in the bathroom crying and Lucas opened the door. “Tessa,” he said. “Are you awake now?” “Yes, I’m awake,” she snapped. She was angry and confused. “Are you mad at me?” Lucas asked confused. “Yes!” “He heard you and walked in as I was trying to wake you. I told him to pick you up, and he did, you kissed him,” Lucas said. “I what? And you let me?” she snapped. “Tessa it may have been more odd if you were kissing me in front of him,” he said trying to make some sense out of what happened. “Or not I don’t know, Tessa what the fuck did you want me to do?” he asked and now he was mad. “I don’t know get Alex,” Tessa cried. “That would be a bit odd — watching you shove your tongue in your brother’s mouth,” they looked at each other, both pissed off and then they both started laughing. He wiped her tears away and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry baby I didn’t know what to do.” “This needs to stop, I need to know why I am doing this.”
“On a positive note you didn’t ask him to do the things you ask me to do,” Lucas laughed and she slugged him. They walked up the stairs and Alex and Ben were sitting in her room, “You okay Tessa,” Alex asked. “I guess I have kind of been freaking out at night, Ben I am sorry I shoved my tongue down your throat, however as Lucas kindly pointed out at least it wasn’t Alex who I tried to assault,” she smiled. “Tessa Ross you don’t have to be sorry, I really enjoyed it,” Ben smiled. Alex smacked him, “I am going to stay in here tonight.” Alex walked across the hall and he grabbed the bottle of water off his nightstand. He walked back in, “this should work to wake you up.”
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX Tessa woke up in the morning and remembered her dream. She showered and made breakfast. She was dancing to the music when Ben and Alex walked in. “Good morning Tess,” Ben said. “You look happy this morning.” “I am. I slept very well.” “Steak and eggs, huh? I guess so. Remember anything?” Ben asked smiling. “I do. I remember the whole dream; it seemed real. I’m ready to take on the world,” she smiled. Lucas walked in the kitchen; “Good morning,” he said and grabbed a glass of milk. “You going to school today or hunting?” Ben asked. “I need to go to school.” “What time did you get in?” Alex asked. “About two,” Lucas said and yawned, “Good morning, Tessa.” “Good morning Lucas,” she smiled thinking of her dream. “Tess remembers her dream, she said she slept well, must have been the music,” Ben winked at her. He threw the last bite of egg in his mouth. “You going to take Tess to school?” “I can,” Lucas said quietly. “Good because I wouldn’t want to run into that Sadi thing again. She told me she was pregnant right before she went all rabid dog on Tess. You know there is anal for that kind of girl,” Ben laughed. Tessa’s eyes widened and she held her mouth in a line trying not to laugh. “Not my thing man,” Lucas said looking down. “Maybe it should be,” Ben stood up and cleaned his plate. “So Ben,” Tessa said trying not to laugh. “You’re into anal huh?” she asked smiling. “I am in to all sorts of things,” Ben winked “I like anal about as much as I like shooting Bambi. See you later Tess, maybe we can talk about it more when you are done with practice,” Ben kissed her cheek and left. *** “That’s disgusting,” Lucas said, “Maybe you should rethink the whole Ben thing.” Tessa laughed. “I don’t know maybe I will like it.” “It’s not like your dreams, Tessa. I think you need to stop having them. Maybe it will curb your appetite.” Lucas raised his eyebrow. She gasped. “I was awake last night.” “You were,” Lucas tried not to smile. Her face turned red. “Why didn’t you say something?” “Like what, Tessa?” Lucas asked. She looked down. She didn’t want to upset him. She didn’t want him to leave again. “I don’t know; ‘you’re awake’ might have worked.” “You wouldn’t have slept,” Lucas said, scowling. “Then you would have drank and possibly spit in my face again.” He glared at her. “Sorry.” “I bet.” She walked over to hug him and he stiffened. “Oh,” she was surprised. “Sorry.” She stomped out of the room.
He relaxed and grinned. She still loves me! Screw you, anal Ben! *** They rode to school together quietly. She glanced out of the corner of her eye and saw him look away. “So you don’t like a…” Tessa started to ask. “Tessa. please don’t,” he said, cutting her off. She grinned and looked out the window. He glanced at her and saw her smile, then shook his head. Tessa the Tease, he thought. She plugged her iPod in. “Wanna here a new song?” “Sure, Tessa,” he said in the monotone voice he had been using with her lately. “It’s by Buck Cherry,” Tessa said grinning. Lucas’s eyes widened. “It’s not a new song, Tessa,” he said through clenched teeth. “It’s all new to me, Lucas,” Tessa laughed as she blasted Crazy Bitch. As they pulled in the school driveway, Lucas tapped the controls on the steering wheel and turned down the music. She jumped out and looked in at him. “You coming?” “Not yet,” he said, looking at her with his eyes heavy and hot. Tessa leaned in and looked down. “Need some help,” she whispered. Lucas threw his head back against the head rest. “Go away now,” he hissed. Sadi was walking by and heard him; she smirked and walked in behind Tessa. “How’s your face, farm girl,” she yelled behind her. Lucas heard Sadi and immediately jumped out and walked toward them. “Mine will heal. Yours, however, will look like that forever.” Tessa saw Lucas coming, “Hey Lucas, I think Ben was on to something, but maybe after you shove it in her ass you could gag her with it so she learns to shut the fuck up.” Sadi started running toward her. Lucas grabbed her arm. “I told you to leave her the fuck alone, and I wasn’t joking. She and I will be friends, you and I will be nothing, Sadi. Do you get it? Baby or not, you and I will be nothing.” Lucas released her arm. He caught up to Tessa. “You okay?” She smiled and looked down. “You look better. Well, not better, just more… relaxed. That was fast Lucas. Dead Puppies?” “No her fucking voice,” Lucas said. They laughed. She stared at him and smiled. “What?” he asked grinning. “For a few minutes, you looked happy again.” She felt her eyes get warm. “I miss that.” She walked away. Me too, he thought. *** Ben was in the parking lot changing his shirt when she walked out of the building. “Picking me up shirtless, Ben, isn’t it a bit cold out for that?” Tessa said as he walked toward her. He bent down and kissed her check. “Didn’t think you’d like Bambi blood all over me,” Ben said, laughing as he slid his sweatshirt over his head. “Your friend Sadi is watching,” he whispered in her ear. He picked her up, threw her on his back, and ran to the truck. “That show would have been more effective if you had left that damn sweatshirt off,” Tessa said
smiling. “Tess have you checked out my ass? Effect enough,” Ben smiled. She looked confused and he laughed. “When you feel like it, check it out I have been told it’s kind of nice,” Ben said smiling. “By lots of people?” Tessa asked curiously. “A couple, but mainly my mom,” Ben said. They laughed. “You are a lot of fun to be around, Ben,” she said. “Is there a serious side?” “Are you ready for there to be?” Ben asked. She shrugged her shoulders. “Okay yes, I can be serious, but I love to have fun, and I really like to make you laugh, Ross.” He smiled. “Okay relationship talk; I already told you about the three long relationships I have been in. They were all based on friendship first and trust. I have slept with three girls, well not really slept, actually” he said laughing, “I have only actually slept with you. I’m very busy and active, my attention is easily distracted so I am very busy in bed as well,” she gasped. “Trying to be honest.” “So if you’re easily distracted how does that work then?” “There are hundreds of ways to please someone Tess,” Ben said grinning, “Busy is a good thing, I like to try and learn new things,” he paused and watched her eyes, she was trying not to grin. “However as much as I love to be distracted I prefer the person I’m with to be completely focused on me, I have issues when it comes to that. When I love or make love it’s two people, there is no other way for me.” He pulled into the driveway and jumped out and opened her door. She was trying not to smile, and avoiding eye contact. “Can’t look at me huh?” he asked, “good that’s step one. See you tonight Tess, oh when I walk away you could check out my ass,” he kissed her on the head and walked away. She laughed as she walked in the house. After doing her homework at the kitchen table she threw together dinner and put it in the oven. She decided to go for a run. She grabbed her running shoes and as she was heading out the door Lucas pulled in the driveway. “Going for a run?” Lucas asked. “Yep, dinners in the oven,” she told him as she stretched out. “I talked to Sadi today,” he said, looking down. “How did that go?” She jumped up and down a few times trying to loosen up. “You are very distracting,” Lucas said as he watched her bounce around. “Sorry, walk with me. Let’s talk.” “But you wanted to run.” “I would rather talk to my friend,” Tessa smiled at him, “and Jade has been very busy lately.” “So I have heard, over and over again,” Lucas said, laughing. She smiled when she saw him laugh. “Your smile… God Lucas, I love your smile.” “Sorry,” Lucas said more seriously. “Don’t be sorry. It makes me happy.” She jumped up and down again. “You are very silly today.” What have I done to you? Lucas thought, looking at her. They walked for a bit without talking. “So let’s hear it; what happened with Sadi?” she finally asked. Lucas looked at her with concern. “You sure?” She nodded. “Well, I think it bothered her a lot when I yelled at her this morning, because she actually apologized. I told her that I thought we should go to counseling; you know, to learn how to deal with each other for the baby.” He stopped and looked at her. “Should I stop?” “No, go on.” “She agreed, so I am going to find someone and go once a week until we can act civil to each other.” He stopped and looked into her eyes. They were blank. She swallowed. “I think that’s a good idea, Lucas.”
“She also agreed to allow me to go the doctor appointment in three weeks if things went well,” Lucas looked at her. “Do you want to sit and talk, Tessa?” “Nope, we can walk,” she said. She wanted to run and scream. He was going to be with her once a week, talking to her about feelings. He was going to her doctor appointment with her and he was having a precious little baby with her. All the things she knew he should do. She encouraged it; he was going to be with Sadi, and Tessa was going to either fall apart or be here picking up sand sized pieces of her heart trying to put it back together. Breathe Tessa she told herself. He was doing the right thing. Let him, be his friend, just breathe. She tripped and fell. The tears came immediately. Lucas squatted down beside her. “You okay, Tessa?” “No. It hurts.” She curled into a ball and put her face into her legs. Tears poured into her lap as she tried to breathe. “Let me help you up.” “I can do it. Just give me a minute,” Tessa winced. Lucas watched her trying to be strong, and he wanted to just run away like she had asked him to the night before. But he had to be a man; she would hate him either way. He reached out and rubbed her back, and she stopped breathing. “Sorry Tessa, does that hurt?” “Yep,” she said. Everything hurts. “So what else happened with her?” “She told me I needed to move out of here,” he answered quietly. She started to shake. “And what did you say?” “I told her I’d work on it, but it may be two more months,” Lucas said softly. She was taking deep breaths. “So are you working on it?” “I think I should,” Lucas said softly. “Oh,” she said, defeated. She held her breath and the tears fell harder. “I know you don’t want help up, but we should really get you back to clean up that leg.” Tessa hadn’t even realized she was bleeding. The pain in her leg was nothing compared to the tear in her heart. She sat up and lifted her shirt to wipe her eyes and looked down at her leg. She exhaled and shook her head. He put his hand out and she took it. He lifted her up. “Thank you,” she said softly. “Can you walk?” “I’m going to have to figure it out,” she said breathing in deeply. “I can’t let you limp all the way to the house. Tessa.” “Well, that one, you’re just going to have to figure out.” Tessa forced a smile. “Friends, Tessa?” Lucas asked, searching her eyes. “Anyways.” Tessa swallowed hard and looked away.
NEW LOVE Book 2
CHAPTER ONE Tessa came home from play practice and turned on the hot tub. Chewy, her yellow lab met her at the door, wagging his tail with his ball in his mouth. She smiled and pet him. He dropped the ball at her feet and she picked it up and threw it. “Good boy Chewy,” she patted his head when he returned with the ball. Lucas pulled in the driveway and Chewy brought him the ball Tessa had just thrown. He forced a smile. “Hello Tessa.” “Hey.” He walked past her and went in the house. She took a deep breath as he passed her. She loved the way he smelled. When he wasn’t fresh from the shower, he smelled warm and outdoorsy. After a few minutes, she walked inside. Lucas was walking out of the bathroom when they bumped into each other. “Sorry bab… Tessa.” Tessa smiled and went in and changed out of her clothes and into a modest bathing suit. She came out into the living room, and he was sitting on the couch with his hands in his hair. “You okay?” “Nope,” he looked up and raised his eyebrow. She stood briefly and watched his face, his jaw set; his green eyes looked lost as if he were searching hers for answers. He shook his head and smiled. She noticed his smile didn’t reach his eyes and knew he was hurting. Tessa ran upstairs and grabbed his trunks. She ran downstairs and threw them at him. “Suit up grumpy, relaxation time.” “Tessa there is nothing relaxing about being in there with you,” Lucas scowled. “Suck it up and let’s go,” Tessa said as she walked out the door. *** Tessa was in the hot tub when he walked out, she had on dark sunglasses so he couldn’t see her checking him out. One of the many ways she had figured out how she would get through this. Lucas stepped in and sat across from her. “So what’s going on Lucas?” “Honestly Tessa, three hours ago you sat out there in the field…” Lucas started. “I got hurt Lucas,” she said dryly. “Do you think I’m stupid?” Lucas asked, sitting back scowling slightly. “Depends.” “Are you drunk?” Lucas asked callously. She threw her sunglasses atop her head swiftly, “Are you stoned?” “Tessa you have on sunglasses, it’s dark, and I really don’t see why that offends you,” Lucas said sarcastically. “I’ve drank three times in my life, how many times have you been stoned?” He smirked, “Sorry bab… Tessa.” Tessa threw a towel at him. “Sit back and cover your face,” she demanded. “What?” he asked laughing.
“Cover your face it’ll be less dist…” she started, “It will help you relax.” Lucas did what she asked, and she watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. His lips were full and delicious she wanted to suck them. She bit her lip as she looked at him; he lifted the towel and saw her watching him. “Damn it Tessa,” he stood up. She stood in front of him. “I want to talk about what’s bugging you Lucas,” she said softly. Lucas looked her up and down, his nostrils flared, and he clenched his jaw. Tessa reached up slowly to touch him, he closed his eyes. She pushed him down so that he was sitting and turned around and bent over the hot tub and grabbed two bottles of water. Fuck, he thought as he looked at her. Tessa turned around and handed him the water. She sat down and took a drink, “So besides all that what’s going on?” “I talked to the sheriff; he said I HAD to stay until mom was home. I argued, and he caved a little: I can go home on my nineteenth birthday,” Lucas looked away from her, so she didn’t see the hurt in his eyes. “Wow Lucas… I don’t even know your birthday,” Tessa looked pissed. “How could I not know that?” “It’s not a big deal,” Lucas’s birthdays where normal celebrated by mailbox gifts from his dad and partying with his mom, they really weren’t a big deal. She was scowling and looked down. “It’s December thirty- first.” “Of course, it is,” Tessa smiled coyly. “Why does that amuse you?” Lucas tilted his head to the side. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to,” Tessa pulled down her sunglasses. “No, I want to know.” “That was the date I picked,” he was confused. “THE date.” “You were really going to make me wait that long?” he laughed. “You wouldn’t have lasted.” “I thought it was a sweet date,” she said softly, “you would have helped me stick to it.” “Sorry Bab…Tessa, I was just playing with you.” “Okay, so that’s only a few weeks away,” she said, “your mom doesn’t get back for a few weeks after that right?” “Tessa it’s a long time,” his brows knitted together. “Lucas it’s less than five weeks. You get to visit your Mom Sunday right?” “I do, don’t I?” “Yes you do, and then what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” “I’m supposed to go to Jersey to see Dad and my sisters.” I was supposed to ask you — that was the date I picked, he thought. “And that’s next week. See, you’ll be gone before you know it.” Her smile faded. He looked at her for a few minutes, and then whispered, “I can’t see you sad for another day.” “And I can’t see you go through this all alone,” she stared at him. “We can make this work, remember the rules from before about friendship?” “Honestly I don’t. I’m pretty sure we broke almost all of them.” “Well, we can’t anymore,” Tessa forced a smile. “I need to be your friend, and I need you to be mine, nothing less,” she started tearing up, and she laughed. “Didn’t we sort of go through this earlier?” “We did,” he nodded and fought the urge to hug her. “We’re both smart right?” “I guess we are.” “And super competitive,” she added, a little louder.
“Absolutely.” “And hot,” she laughed. “No doubt bab…Tessa,” he shook his head and they laughed. “We got this then.” “Hug?” “Hell no.” “I love you…my friend.” “You too, bud,” Tessa smiled. *** Ben and Alex pulled in and ran into the house. When they came out, they were changed and in the hot tub in a flash. Ben sat by Tessa and smiled, “Hello Tess.” “Well hello, Ben.” “Did you check it out?” Ben whispered in her ear. “No, not yet,” she laughed. “Alex tell her what you got today,” Ben smiled mischievously. “I’d rather not.” His face gave it away and Tessa scowled at him and stood up, Ben smiled at her. She got out and dried off and stomped all the way to the house. *** “You get a Doe Alex?” Lucas asked. Alex shook his head no. “Oh,” he cringed and tried not to laugh. Lucas sat and relaxed for a bit. Somehow he ended up agreeing to hunt Saturday and Sunday before he got out and walked in the house. Tessa was on the computer with her headphones on; she didn’t notice him walk in. He looked over her shoulder, and she was on some sort of pregnancy website. He read and she felt his breath on her neck and jumped. “Sorry, may I?” She smiled and took her headphones off. She showed him a week by week site that she had found. “So this says that at twenty weeks, you can find out what the baby is. That’s not too far from now Lucas. Do you want to know?” “Honestly, no. I know I should want to, but I don’t.” “I want to know,” Tessa smiled and turned back towards the screen. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” “Actually I am. I hope you have a boy. I hope he looks just like you and has a heart like yours.” She clicked on a few links and got to the one she was looking for. “Your baby is fourteen weeks, I think, so that means she is past the most- critical stage. You need to be sure she is taking folic acid and prenatal vitamins and extra calcium. Your baby needs folic acid so that it grows and develops; it reduces the risks of birth defects. See this,” she put the mouse on the picture. “He has little legs, arms, and eyes. Isn’t that cool? I ordered you a couple books, but you need to go the drug store before school and get her those vitamins Lucas. Actually you should text her now and see if she has them if she doesn’t make sure she takes them every day. He’ll be much healthier and have a better shot in this crazy world if she takes care of him now.” Lucas felt sick to his stomach. Tessa looked at him, “You okay?” He shook his head no. She got up and grabbed him some water. “Drink, please.”
Lucas got up and walked to the bathroom and threw up. “Oh, you’re sick?” He didn’t answer right away and then sat back, “No Tessa. I’m not sick. I just can’t do this shit.” She handed him a cup of water, “Rinse and spit.” She got his toothbrush and put paste on it, “Brush.” He rinsed and spit in the toilet. She knelt down, wiped his face, sat next to him, and held his hand. He pulled his knees up and wrapped his arm around them and put his head down. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders as he took deep breaths. Alex walked in and saw them, “Oh sorry, everything okay?” “Sure is. Lucas and I will be out in a few minutes.” She hated seeing him like this. As hard as it was for her, she knew he was never going to be able to escape Sadi. She couldn’t imagine what he must be going through. His phone chimed. “Can I get that?” He shook his head yes. “It’s Sadi, she says,” Tessa laughed. “You off the farm yet? How do you sign your name for her?” “Just L,” he answered in barely a whisper. - Nope stuck here until my birthday, sorry… L She pushed send and kept on replying, - Are you fucking kidding me? Sadi - no, nothing I can do about it but move to Jersey, can you deal with that?... L - you better not be fucking her… Sadi - told you I wasn’t. How many weeks pregnant are you? Are you taking vitamins and folic acid?… L - fourteen weeks, and not yet why?... Sadi - it’s important, for our child, I’ll pick up some stuff before school see you tomorrow… L - as if you care… Sadi - I think we both should care if our child is healthy… L - Did you set up counseling or whatever that shit is we need to go to… Sadi - working on it will know more tomorrow, Dr.’s appointment?… L - will let you know, better behave or no go… Sadi - I will… L “Hope you don’t mind,” she said and read it to him. He cleared his throat, “Thanks, Tessa.” “Do you want to be alone?” “No — please stay.” Lucas scooted behind her and hugged her, resting his forehead against her shoulder. Tessa rubbed his head and kissed his cheek. After a long time, he kissed her neck. “Thank you, Baby.”
Her heart pounded, and she turned to him and smiled. “Anytime BUD. You feel better?” “Yes, I do.” “Ready to get up?” “I need a shower.” “No, a bath,” she turned on the water putting oatmeal in it. Tessa sat on the edge of the tub and mixed it up with her feet. Lucas watched her and wished things were different, but at least he had her now. “Time to get in,” she pulled him up. He kissed her head; “You’re the best Tessa.” She turned to walk out as he dropped his pants. “Hey Lucas,” she turned around; she smiled as she looked at him. “Yes Tessa?” he stood gloriously naked. “Wow… I’ve never seen it like that. Nice, Lucas,” Tessa walked by and grabbed him a washcloth, “Here you go.” *** She was on the couch when he came out with a towel wrapped around him. He threw the washcloth at her face and ran up the stairs. Lucas came back down with pajama bottoms and a tee shirt on and sat next to her. “Want to talk about it?” He looked at her confused. “Not really, but thank you,” Lucas said. “Why did you do that?” “What? Check out your junk?” she laughed. “No, I totally get why you’d want to sneak a peek.” Lucas laughed and then looked away. “The website stuff, order the books, talk me through it, and respond to her texts? Why?” “Gee, I thought you were intelligent. I like to help my friends through difficult situations,” Tessa nudged him “Alright then.” “Do you think Sadi will let me be there when your baby is born?” Tessa asked trying not to smile. “Someone better be, I’ll more than likely be on the floor,” he kissed the top of her head and stood up. “Thanks again. I’m going to bed.” *** “Tessa what’s going on?” Alex asked. “Reality just hit I think, he’s going to need you and Tommy, Alex. He’s been alone for most of his life and taken care of his Mom when it should have been the other way around. Lucas has a good heart. I love him, and I need him to be okay. I think the only way he will be is if he has people who love him and let him know his true worth. His shield Alex is the cocky, arrogant ass everyone sees… that’s not who he is, not even a little bit. It’s just who he has had to be so he doesn’t fall apart,” Tessa said with tears in her eyes. “Tessa I think he’s a good guy, but… I’m worried about you,” Alex sat next to her. “I have all of you. I’m strong, I may screw up, but I’ll always be okay.” *** For the next few weeks, Lucas saw Tessa‘s strength. He was gaining strength from her, but he couldn’t
wait to go home. Tessa needed to move on: she was the most- amazing friend he had ever had, besides Tommy. He knew what was coming and it crushed him knowing he was going to crush her. Lucas knew how much she loved him, and he wanted better for her. She deserved better than him. There were no more make out sessions, they occasionally held hands and hugged. She kissed him on the cheek and head when she knew he was struggling. As much as he wanted to be strong for her: it wasn’t happening while he was under the same roof as she was. He needed her. He wanted her in his life. He loved her… and he always would. On Saturday, Lucas got his first deer, a big eight point. Tessa smiled when she found out. On Sundays, he went to church with her family, part as a condition of him staying with them and part because he loved to see her shine. He had basketball after school, and she had play practice at night. They only saw each other for a couple hours a day. She went to her mother’s on Wednesdays, and he and Sadi went to counseling on Thursday nights. Counseling didn’t seem to be helping, but it was an excuse to be away from Tessa. He hoped that the distance would help what would inevitably become of them. On Fridays he had games, she sat in the bleachers and cheered him and Alex on, those nights he didn’t come home until late. He hung out with Alex and Tommy if they weren’t with their girls. If they were, he chilled with Becca’s adopted brother Ryan. Ryan was cool, a few years back he and Jade’s brother Jasper were best friends, he had been pretty messed up about the loss. On Saturday night, Tessa and Lucas still worked at the Spot. It was snowmobile season and the place was busy all the time. Tessa sang less and was returning to her pre- Lucas self. She was a little quieter and more guarded around the opposite sex. Lucas’s mother was getting better; she had been sober for two months now, which was a record for her. Tessa set her alarm on her phone every night to wake up at two in the morning, she forced herself to get out of bed, drink warm milk, go to the bathroom and wash her face. About once a week (sometimes more), Lucas would sneak in and turn it off just so he could hold her and kiss her until she got through her nightmare. Those mornings she seemed a little happier, and he was as well. *** Before Thanksgiving Tessa made a whole turkey dinner by herself so that, Lucas could eat with their family before he went to Jersey with his. She wanted him to know he was family, and she couldn’t imagine spending a holiday without the people she loved. That kind gesture hurt him, but he knew it wasn’t meant to. Toby came home to visit, and he and Tessa hung out a lot. Lucas liked him and often found himself watching his interaction with Tessa. He was kind and gentle with her. He didn’t push her into anything. Tessa was very relaxed with him around. After his basketball game, Lucas came home and found Tessa asleep against Toby’s chest. Her mascara was smeared down her face, and Toby was looking at her when Lucas walked in the room. “Hello,” Lucas said to Toby as he passed the couch and walked into the bathroom. When Lucas walked out Toby asked him to sit, and Lucas did. “How are you Lucas?” “I’m alright and you?” Lucas asked uncomfortably. “I know what’s gone on here for the past few months. I know how she feels about you. And I know how you feel about her,” Toby said. “What makes you think …” Lucas stated and Toby interrupted. “Lucas, I’m not trying to make this hard on you or start an argument. I wanted you to know that I think what you’re doing is honorable. I also know that this living situation has got to be extremely hard on both of you. I know you wouldn’t choose this for her or yourself. She’s worried about you being alone. I agree with her, these people care about you. John wants you to stay Lucas, just until your mom gets home.”
“This is uncomfortable, Toby…” “It’s not,” Toby said softly. “Yes it is! I see her walking on egg shells in her own house! I hear her cry when she’s in the shower. She cleans all the damn time to avoid sitting down for two minutes, and I know it’s because she’s dying inside. I know this because I’m dying right along with her. Her family is amazing, but just like her, they’re putting me first…” he said fighting tears. “That’s love…” Toby interrupted. “Yes I get that. And I love her just as much. I’m not staying, she needs to heal, and I need to let her,” Lucas stood up. “Okay, I get it. Either way you are both going to hurt. This one right here will struggle through and be fine. She’s strong Lucas, but she needs you to be, too. She needs you to be safe and happy. If not, she’s going to have a very hard go of this, and so will you. I love her Lucas, if she chose you tomorrow I would have no problem walking away knowing she would have what she wanted. I know you’re a good man, and not just because she says so, but because I see it in you. I just wanted you to know that,” Toby said softly. “Thank you.” Lucas looked at Tessa and ran his hands through his hair and walked up the stairs to bed. *** Christmastime was always exciting; the Ross family had many traditions that were new to Lucas. Each person got a new ornament with their name on it or something that reflected whatever their passion was for the year. Tessa made Lucas an ornament with a football and a crown. On the bottom, she used a paint pen and wrote Christmas with the Ross family on it. They had the Christmas pickle, the elf on the shelf, and a nativity scene displayed in their front yard. There also was an advent calendar that each person had a special day or rather rotation of days that they got to switch the calendar and received a small treat or trinket for their day. There were two trees and presents piled up high under them. They all had personalized stockings that they had since birth. Lights and candles adorned every room inside and outside the farm house. Tessa bought both Lucas and Chewy personalized stockings. Lucas thought their traditions were beautiful but not nearly as beautiful as the girl he loved more and more every day. Lucas was loading his car with gifts for his sisters, Audrianna, and his father. Tessa stood outside freezing in shorts and a sweater helping him. Tessa laughed whenever he grumbled about the amount of stuff she made him buy for the girls. She had sent him with presents for them that needed to be opened as soon as they woke up. He promised her he would. When he was about to leave, she jumped on him and wrapped her arms and legs around him and hugged him and kissed his face in a very obnoxious sloppy manner. “Drive safe and text me when you get there Lucas, have a Merry Christmas.” He smiled and kissed her gently on the mouth. He pulled away, and her eyes were closed, she opened them and he grabbed her face. “Merry Christmas Tessa, I love you.” he got into his SUV and pulled away. She stood rubbing her lips gently as he pulled down the road out of sight. Tessa went inside, just like she did when he left for Thanksgiving, went upstairs and cried. She loved him desperately but knew she had to stay strong for him. The emptiness she felt now had a lot to do with the fact she knew he would be moving home in a week, and she wouldn’t see him nearly as much. She was afraid to lose him again even though she knew she already had. Tessa fell asleep crying. Her phone chimed. It was him - I made it safe and sound… LL
- I’m so glad!!!! You better get to sleep or Santa won’t come… Tessa - He’s a little freaky you know, sneaking in your house at night after stalking you all year. I may stay up just to be sure his ass doesn’t come in the house… LL - Chicken butt! In the morning you should look under the back seat, I think he left you a little something… Tessa - No kidding, you should look in your um, unmentionable’s drawer I think he left you something as well… LL - I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! … Tessa - I couldn’t tell… LL - I love you Lucas, have a beautiful Christmas with your family…Tessa - I love you Tessa, goodnight… LL Christmas was amazing, and the gift he left her was too much. Inside a perfectly wrapped box with a bow was a pair of diamond stud earrings. Tessa cried when she opened them. - Merry Christmas Lucas, I don’t think I can accept your gift, they’re beautiful but too much my friend, BTW you made me cry… Tessa - Merry Christmas Tessa, I don’t know how you pulled that off, I have never received a gift with such meaning, I love it and will always and forever cherish it… BTW you made Audrianna cry, she couldn’t believe that you would do that for the girls too. - As always I’m in awe of you… LL Tessa had made albums of his time with her family; she had purposely left the pictures of just the two of them out. She included newspaper clippings that had his name in it from local papers and lots of pictures of him and his sisters. It was full of all the important parts of the past four months of his life. Pictures were one of her favorite things ever: they induced memories allowing you to more clearly travel back to the life changing events that mold us and make us who we are. Tessa had made albums for each of his sisters that included the same photos as Lucas’s and a few of Tessa and the girls. She had also made empty pages to be filled in later. Under the tree was a large box To the Ross family, it was from the Links family. It was full of beach items and gift cards. There was a certificate for a family getaway to Myrtle Beach to be used whenever they chose. There was a hand written note from Landon thanking them for taking Lucas in, and to Tessa for all her kindness. Tessa cried when she read it. - please thank your family Lucas, it again was too much, give them our love… Tessa
CHAPTER TWO Lucas pulled into the farm on the twenty- seventh at around seven at night. He got out of the SUV and stretched. Tessa bolted out of the house and dove on him knocking him into a snow bank. She hugged him, and Chewy jumped on him and licked his face. After they went inside, they sat in the toasty house and talked about Christmas while he unpacked. She asked him if he wanted to ride a snowmobile and meet Jade and Tommy for dinner. “That sounds like fun,” Lucas said smiling at her. *** Tessa drove, and he held on tight. She was wild on the green sled. Lucas was thankful she had all the layers of clothes on because he had to hold tightly around her. They pulled in, and Jade was straddling Tommy on their sled as they made out. Tommy and Jade stopped when they saw Tessa and Lucas standing there looking incredibly uncomfortable. They all went in and sat by the fire and ordered dinner. The place was packed, and it took a while to get their food but as always it was well worth it. At the end of the meal, the waitress brought out a cake that Tessa had made and brought up earlier that day. It had nineteen candles and the whole restaurant sang happy birthday to Lucas. He smiled and looked at her and mouthed Thank you, Tessa. They laughed and joked for three hours before they decided it was time to leave. Tessa let Lucas drive home, she held tightly to him, and he drove much slower than she had. He was sucking up every second that her arms held tightly to his body; he wished this moment could last forever. *** They finally got to the farm, and he pulled the sled into the barn and turned it off. She took her helmet off and her golden hair fell down her face. He looked at her and wanted so badly to stay here with her forever. “Lucas you drive like my grandma.” The zipper on her bibs was stuck and she was having a hard time getting it down, she scowled and stomped her foot. “Let me help you.” He was very aware that the only thing that was between his fingers and her chest was the zipper and a very tight, thin layer of clothing. His breaths became deeper and slower until he finally freed the zipper. The mounds beneath her shirt were pebbled and extremely visible. Tessa closed her eyes and arched her back ever so slightly until she felt his finger slowly rub across her taut nipple. He looked into her eyes, and they both stood still trying to control their breathing. Tessa closed her eyes, and he kissed her hard pulling her lip down to open her mouth, she moaned softly. Lucas picked her up and sat on the snowmobile with her on his lap. She grabbed his head and kissed him deeper. His hands lightly skimmed over her shirt, and she kissed him harder. “I love you Tessa,” Lucas kissed her neck. “I love you Lucas… so much,” Tessa climbed on his lap and rubbed against his rock hard pants and whimpered when he pushed against her. He stood and held her against him and walked deeper into the barn as she pushed his bibs down and pulled him free, “Baby I… we…” “I just want to feel you Lucas, I need to feel you,” Tessa stroked him softly as they pulled her bibs off; she had thermal long underwear on under them. He cupped her ass in his hands and lifted her wrapping her legs around his waist. Tessa grinded against him and whimpered.
Lucas kissed her hard as he pushed her against the wall and rocked against her, feeling the warmth between her legs. “You’re real hot Baby,” he groaned, “Fuck Tessa this is...” “Please don’t stop, please Lucas it feels so good… Oh God, I wish you were inside of me.” “I would give anything to be baby,” his hips moved closer, grinding into her even harder. “Aw, fuck yes just like that Tessa.” “I wanna lay on you, I need you closer.” Lucas held her tight and knelt down and sat back watching her face flush, he pushed her hair back, “I need to make you come, Tessa.” “I think…” “What’s it feel like baby?” “Hot, burning… Lucas” she threw her head back and he caught it in his hand. She started pulling away, “No baby, you’re right there — stay with me, fuck… go off with me.” He pushed against her harder and reached between them and rubbed his thumb against the outside of her, hitting her clit. She gasped and pulled back, “No baby, let me be the first to make you come, really come,” her teeth clenched tightly and she pushed against him and he rubbed harder. She screamed as her body shook. “Fuck,” Lucas's mouth opened and his nostrils flared as he came. Tessa hugged him tightly around his neck as they continued to kiss each other. She hugged him again and didn’t let go as he rubbed her back and kissed her head over and over again. He carried her to bed and he started to walk away. Tessa grabbed him, “Please don’t go, please stay with me tonight.” Lucas changed into pajamas and so did she. He climbed in beside her. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him and fell asleep to him running his fingers through her hair. Lucas woke before her and snuck into his bed and fell back to sleep. *** Lucas came into the kitchen, “Good morning Tessa.” He looked in her eyes, and she blushed. “Good Morning,” she hugged him quickly and grinned. “Tessa I’m sorry about…” he started. “I’m not,” she smirked. Tessa looked in his eyes and stopped smiling as she saw his eyes glaze over as if he had constructed a wall. “Tessa, I am,” he said, “Do you know what today is?” “Yep, three days before your birthday,” she turned her back to him. “The sonogram… the fucking sonogram Tessa,” he cursed as his hand slammed down on the counter. Tessa jumped, “I’m sorry Lucas I forgot,” she said as her eyes started to burn. “Okay, don’t, no water works, Tessa,” he barked. She looked shocked. He had never spoken to her like that. “Damn it, I’m sorry,” Lucas said softly. Tessa swallowed hard and turned around and cleared her voice. “No big deal we can forget it happened, just a mistake, sorry. Breakfast is in the oven, it’s a casserole. I need to go to the bathroom,” she walked quickly past him. ***
He stood up and went to find her. She was standing at the washing machine folding clothes. “Tessa.” She quickly wiped her eyes, “Lucas, do you need something?” “Tessa look at me.” “I’m a little busy — just give me a minute okay?” she asked again in the same sweet voice. He lightly touched her shoulders, and she tensed up and started to shake, “I’m sorry.” “You don’t have to be, it’s not a big deal.” “Look at me baby,” he whispered. “Nope, look last night was fun. I know you're leaving and I know you’re going to have a baby, but for just a few minutes,” she stopped and took a deep breath and swallowed. “I forgot, so my mistake, I’m sorry. I’m not mad and I hope you can forgive me,” he wrapped his arms around her. She took several deep calming breaths. “I’m not mad at you, Tessa, I’m mad at me,” he whispered. Tessa began to cry again and shook her head. She put her hands over her eyes and quietly continued to cry. She stopped and turned around and looked at him. “I don’t want that, Lucas,” she said, “The reality is that this sucks. The whole thing. You’re trying to tiptoe around me because you don’t want to hurt me and I’m doing the same thing. It sucks, and what really sucks is that I believe we love one another, and there isn’t a damn thing either of us can do about it. It’s the forbidden fruit.” she laughed. “We never even got a chance to bite the damn apple because we actually give a shit about each other.” She was laughing harder now. “Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would fall for the hottie football rock star and this craziness would have happened,” she put her head on his chest and laughed. She looked up at him with a grin, “You got anything Lucas? You're being awfully quiet,” He shook his head no and looked at her, “Please give me something — I’m like Jekyll and Hyde right now.” “You astound me,” he said looking at her. “Well, that’s not helping,” she laughed, “You were pissed at me in the kitchen and now I astound you. I was a crying little child a minute ago, and now I’m laughing. There is seriously something wrong with us.” He just looked at her and took a deep breath, his arms still around her as he continued to look at her, “You don’t have to be so strong for me.” “This is not strong, this is wrecked,” she admitted. “I don’t even know who I am right now, don’t you see that?” He hugged her and kissed her head, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be who I desperately wished I could be for you. We could’ve been amazing together, so yes Tessa, you astound me.” “Who can you be without me? I need to know that the guy I fell in love with was real, please don’t prove me wrong,” she reached up and grabbed his face and kissed him. He stood there staring at her. She took his arms and put them to his sides and walked around him. ~ Sadi lay on the table, and Lucas held her hand, just like Tessa would expect. The radiologist couldn’t see much in the sonogram, so she decided to do an ultrasound. Lucas’s eyes widened when he saw her pull out the stirrups, all he could think of was Tessa’s Vagatron experience. She then took out a device that was shaped like a penis and put a condom over it. She inserted it inside Sadi, and she gripped his hand tightly. “You okay?” Lucas whispered. “No,” Sadi hissed. “Okay, here is your uterus and the little one is right here,” the radiologist pointed at the screen. “Is it a boy or a girl?” Lucas asked anxiously.
“Too early to tell,” she smiled at him. She clicked a few buttons taking measurements. “It looks like you are about twelve weeks so we won’t be able to tell for at least another two months,” she said. “Excited daddy, huh?” “Actually I’m a bit confused,” Lucas said, “Sadi is five months pregnant, not three. Can you check again?” She looked at him “Sure. No… she’s twelve weeks, so just through the first trimester.” “No, that’s not right. Is it possible that something is wrong with our baby?” Lucas asked concerned. “Actually everything looks great, the heartbeat is strong, all the measurements are good, everything is perfect.” “Okay, could we please talk to the doctor? She’s five months, she came here about two months ago, and you guys told her she was pregnant so obviously something’s not right, and I would like to make sure our child is healthy.” “Okay, I’ll get the Doctor” she left the room. “Are you alright Sadi?” he asked She looked at him and turned away. “Sadi, are you okay?” Lucas asked again firmly. The doctor walked in and introduced himself, “So you’re concerned about the size of your child?” “Yes, Sadi was here two months ago, and she was told she was three months pregnant. Now that woman said twelve weeks. I’m confused as to why it’s not a concern and that we shouldn’t be doing further testing.” “Sadi I’m your doctor so if you would like to discuss this with me in private, please say so.” “Sadi, do you need a minute or are we in this together?” Lucas looked confused. “Go ahead,” she whispered to the doctor. “Sadi is twelve weeks pregnant. She was in here a few months ago and had a false positive home test. We did blood work and found she wasn’t pregnant, and we clearly told her that.” The doctor explained. Lucas sat down and was stunned, shocked, and speechless. Finally, he spoke, “Do you know what you have done? Do you?” “Mr. Links,” the doctor said in a warning. “No, no, no! You aborted a baby behind my back about eight months ago. I brought you here and paid to get you on the pill and still dated your crazy ass. Then I finally find someone who I love and you fake a pregnancy?” Lucas started to laugh, “Doc she’s crazy, what the fuck?” “Listen son, did you sleep with her two and a half months ago?” “Yes, I thought she was three months pregnant, and I fucked her.” “Well then you had sex with her and you have a 12- week old baby growing in her body. I would suggest you take responsibility and stop talking to her like that,” he scolded Lucas. “Holy Fuck! Sadi- — what is fucking wrong with you?” Sadi looked at him, and tears fell down her face, “I love you.” “What the fuck ever, get dressed. Doc can she be put on Meds to fix her fucking head before my helpless child is born?” “That’s enough son,” the doctor said. “No shit!” he said, “After I pay your fucking bill I’ll be in the car, hurry up.” Lucas walked out the door. *** Lucas dropped her off at her house and went to his. He took his little pipe and flopped on his bed. What the hell was he going to do now? This was crazy. What had he done? How was he going to tell
Tessa, his family, Tommy? What was he going to do? Lucas walked out of his house and drove to the farm. When he got out he realized, Sadi left the sonogram picture in the car and he grabbed it. He walked around outside and tried to wrap his brain around what had just happened. Tessa walked outside, “So is it a boy?” Lucas walked past her and flipped the picture at her and walked towards the back of the farm. Tessa caught up to him, “Hey Lucas, what’s going on?” He laughed and squatted down and looked at her, his eyes were red, and he was pissed. “Lucas are you stoned?” “Maybe buzzed,” Lucas laughed again. “Why?” “Hey, Tessa wanna hear a funny story?” Lucas asked running his hand through his hair. “Sure?” she said with concern in her eyes. “Oh, wait first check out the picture baby. Look at all the cool numbers at the top.” Tessa looked at the due date and all the numbers, “Hey my little stoner buddy, I think you got the wrong picture.” “Baby you’re smarter than that, look at the name on it,” Lucas laughed. “Okay Lucas, I’m confused.” “Don’t be Tessa… ask the questions I’ve never lied to you.” “Is she twelve weeks?” “Yep… I fucked her when I was living here. She got pregnant then, as a matter a fact she had a false positive pregnancy test and had blood drawn, they told her she wasn’t pregnant. Sadi fucked with the paperwork and flat ass lied to me. Oh, but remember as the good doctor pointed out to me, I fucked her, it’s my responsibility. I’m sure my hot bodied little blonde here would agree, wouldn’t you baby?” She just looked at him. “And that’s what I thought,” he stood and walked away. “Lucas wait,” Tessa said and ran up to him, “Is he healthy?” “Sure is,” he said laughing. “Okay — that’s good right?” “Are you fucking insane too?” he snapped. “That’s good? Fuck Tessa! She’s put me… us through hell, I would prefer she go play in the fucking road right now instead of fucking caring about how that nut job is going to take care of my child.” “Well, no — I’m not insane. But if you don’t think she could take care of him, then maybe you could get custody.” “Fuck you Tessa — I’m eighteen years old. I was raised by a lush whose head I pulled out of the toilet almost every night from the time I was three, on. I know nothing about taking care of a kid,” he yelled at her. “Lucas, yes you do, you took care of yourself, and you can do this.” She looked for his keys and saw his pocket bulging, great she thought. “Hey, Lucas would you come here just for a minute.” He walked towards her, she pulled his head down and kissed him, and he moaned and grabbed one of her breasts and squeezed it hard. He took the other, shit she thought, she reached under his shirt and rubbed is stomach. He groaned as she reached into his pocket. “Oh, fuck baby,” he reached down low and rubbed her hard. “Lucas don’t,” Tessa whispered. “Come on baby, I need you right now, you love me right?” he asked. She didn’t reply. She grabbed his keys and whispered in his ear, “I do, and don’t be mad at me, please.” She turned and she walked away.
“Get back here baby,” his nostrils flared. She kept walking; he ran up and grabbed her. “Lucas I love you, please be nice to me,” she hugged him, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” He didn’t hug her back, he was pissed, “Give. Me. My keys Tessa.” She let go of him and looked up, “Nope.” “I have shit to do, Tessa,” he growled. “What do you need to do?” He grabbed for the keys and she took off running. He stood there with his arms crossed, she turned around. “If you can catch them, you can have them,” she lifted her shirt and put his keys in her bra. Lucas shook his head and took off after her. She ran for the woods as fast as she could. He was right behind her, she ran harder and turned up the field and headed back towards the farm. Eventually, he slowed down and then walked. He looked up, and she was smiling tapping her wrist and beckoning him with her hand to come on. Lucas was pissed and flipped her off. She laughed out loud. She walked into the barn and sat on a bale of hay. He walked in breathless and looked at her, she was smiling and laughed. “I never thought about it before, but quarterbacks don't run very much, do they?” “Enough to catch your buddy Ben’s ass before he made a touchdown,” he snapped. “But not as fast as me.” “Fine, you win. But I’ll go after them if you don't hand them over.” “No, you won't.” He walked towards her and stopped and looked at her. “Tessa? Are you scared of me?” he asked and she walked past him. “No,” she walked out towards the house. He walked in the door several minutes later. “You look better. Your eyes don't look like someone poked you in them, buzz gone?” she asked. He shook his head yes, and he looked tired. “Do you have the Munchies?” He smiled softly, and she told him to sit on the couch. She made popcorn and turned on the TV and handed him the remote. She rubbed the back of his head and ate. He leaned on her shoulder and eventually he fell asleep. She scooted out and laid him gently down and covered him up, she grabbed the bowl and cleaned up a little. She sat in front of him on the floor and watched him sleep. She wanted to scream at him, and she wanted to kill Sadi, but regardless, the situation was not going to change and she needed to help him get through it. *** Tessa gathered together marinated steaks, started twice baked potatoes and grabbed frozen corn from their field out of the freezer. She texted Jade, Tommy, Phoebe and Ryan and asked them to come for dinner, they all accepted. She was baking when he woke up. He walked into the kitchen, “What are you doing?” She smiled, “Good nap?” “It was nice.” “I am making dinner, Tommy, Jade, Phoebe, and Ryan are coming over. Does that sound fun?” He looked at her, and she couldn't read his face, “Sure.” “Lucas I just thought you would want the people who love you around right now. I'm sorry.” “I appreciate it. Could I please take you out tomorrow? Alone?” He asked her face froze, “as my friend Tessa.”
“Of course,” Tessa blushed and turned around to continue preparing dinner. Tessa made a big salad and Lucas helped. He turned on some music hoping she would dance around the kitchen. As usual Tessa started bopping around. Lucas smiled a bittersweet smile knowing this be the last night he spent watching her dance while she cooked for him. *** They all started coming in, and Tessa tried to allow Lucas ample time to talk to the boys about what had happened today if he wanted to. Tessa got out cards, and they sat around and played five card draw. Lucas watched her laugh and smile and nothing else in the room mattered. He had broken and shattered her, and that didn't work, she still loved him. He didn’t look forward to what was to come. That night she woke him up at 2:30 in the morning again. He knew she would, he made sure of it. She was much harder to calm down. She was angry and hurt and scared, he regretted it almost immediately. She sobbed and begged him not to go, he couldn’t tell her he wouldn't. He kissed her each time she cried until finally, she fell back to sleep. *** The next day was a blur. Sadness and heartache filled the house. By the end of the day, the house was spotless and Tessa had gone for two runs despite the bitter cold air. *** The next morning Tessa had gotten up and made breakfast and left a note. - I have some things to do. Breakfast is ready, see you all later. Tessa drove up to camp and went inside and laid down and sobbed. Lucas was moving home today, and she didn’t want to be there. Tessa opened her bag and took one of the pain pills from her ankle injury. She drank it down and fell asleep. Tommy, Ryan, and Alex helped Lucas move, they were done by noon. Lucas was going to cook for the Ross’s tonight as a thank you. He had bought Prime Rib and googled how to cook it. At two o'clock, he wondered where she was, and by five, he was going out of his mind. He texted her again. - Tessa we’re all worried where are you?... LL *** Shit, she thought, she had slept way longer than she had hoped, she jumped up and got in the truck and drove home. “Where have you been,” Lucas asked as he was checking her out. Probably to see if I’m drunk, she thought. “Honestly I fell asleep at camp, your last message woke me.” “Why were you there?” “I started to clean up after hunting season. I laid down to rest for a bit and well, I’m here now,” she smiled. “Okay,” Lucas felt her head. “You’re not sick are you?” “No, just tired,” she smiled. “Did you need help tomorrow with the big move?” “No everything’s done. Oh, I’m throwing myself a birthday slash New Year’s Eve party tomorrow night. Do you think you and Alex could come?” “Sure, we can try. You know how busy our schedules are. Will Sadi be there?” “No.”
At that moment, he knew what he would do to make this easier for her. They ate dinner at seven and by nine, everyone was in bed. Tessa couldn’t sleep and walked downstairs. She decided to read until she fell asleep. Tessa had another dream and woke up as Lucas walked down the stairs. He started to pick her up. “I’m awake. Sorry, I woke you.” Lucas sat next to her, “What was the dream about?” “An accident, as usual,” Tessa whispered. “Can I sit here until you fall asleep?” Lucas asked, secretly wishing she hadn’t woken up. “You don’t have to. I’m sure you’re tired, and you have a big party tomorrow. Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday Lucas.” Lucas looked at her, “Thanks, Tessa.” He sat back and she leaned over and hugged him. He kissed her head and wrapped his arms around her. They both fell asleep. Tessa woke up, and Lucas was gone. She rushed to the window to see if his SUV was parked in the driveway, and it was. She took a deep breath and started breakfast. She heard the shower and knew it was him. He walked out in the kitchen and she smiled, “Happy Birthday!” “Thanks. I think we already went through that.” She handed him two gifts. In one package, she gave him a few sweatshirts, one from each of the schools he had talked about attending next year. In the other was a watch, it was the same silver as his necklace and on the back it read YFA TT. He smiled “What’s that mean?” “Your Friend Always and TT is what you’d been calling me when I had that engraved. There’s one more thing, come here.” She grabbed his hand and took him outside. She opened his hatch, and there was a cooler with a big red bow on it. “Thanks, TT.” “Open it,” she clapped Lucas opened it. It was packed full of frozen food she had made, each package was labeled, and there was enough for at least a month. “Tessa, you didn’t have to do that,” he smiled and hugged her. “But I’m glad you did.” “Breakfast foods have green writing, lunch has blue, and dinner has red. I think I got it right. These are the foods you seemed to like the most, and there is enough for you to have seconds. There isn’t side’s, but I think you can boil water, well I know you can especially after last night’s dinner.” she was looking down. Lucas lifted her chin and looked in her eyes. “I’ve been so lucky to have you through all this. I want you to know that Tessa, I’ll never forget it,” he kissed her, and she kissed him back. It was not the kiss she was used to and desperately wanted right now. It wasn’t one that begged for more. It was a kiss that said goodbye. She looked in his eyes and knew she was right. Lucas left an hour later after he said goodbye to the family and thanked them. They were all going to miss him. John told him that he was welcome back anytime and that if he ever needed anything ‘don’t hesitate to call.' Lucas said he would, but Tessa knew better. Tessa had finally finished crying; she sat down and wrote in her journal. She hadn’t done that since he’d come into her life. She wrote all about him, and how much she loved him. She wrote about what she would do to keep herself busy after tonight’s party. Tessa wrote a long letter to Toby. She finished her letter by telling him how right he was and that her focus needed to and was going to change. She told him
that she hoped when she was done with school he may still be there, but understood that falling in love was something no one ever could plan. She sealed his letter and put it in the mailbox. *** Tessa showered and got ready for the party. Alex had already picked up Phoebe; it was eleven when they left. John and the kids were snuggled up in the living room watching the New Year’s Eve countdown, waiting for the ball to drop. Alex, Phoebe, and Tessa pulled in and saw all the cars. Most of which she didn’t recognize. They rang the doorbell and a stranger opened the door. They made their way through the crowd to the kitchen where Jade and Tommy were sitting lost in each other’s eyes. “Hello Jade. Hey Tommy,” Tessa smiled, “Happy New Year’s Eve.” They chatted for a bit and heard loud cheers from the living room. They peeked in, and Lucas was surrounded by a slew of girls doing a keg stance. Tessa watched as he flirted with them, and even kissed one on the mouth. Tessa turned to walk out, and he saw her, “Tessa baby, come here!” Tessa stopped and waited for him to walk over to her. He grabbed her and kissed her. She didn’t reciprocate. “You look so good tonight,” he kissed her again. “What time is it?” She looked at her watch, “Five of twelve.” “Excellent I have a surprise for you, come with me.” Lucas led her up the stairs and pulled a blindfold out of his pocket and put it around her eyes. “You trust me? Leave that on — okay baby?” he kissed her nose and slid it on. He opened his bedroom door and brought her in. “It’s dark in here Lucas, and you're messed up, please let me take this off.” “I think you’ll love this surprise,” he kissed her and unbuttoned her shirt. “Okay, Tessa now I want to share something with you. I’m going to turn on the light and remove the blindfold. I want you to promise me you’ll have an open mind. In three, two, one.” Lucas removed her blindfold and kissed her. He slowly pulled away. Tessa looked at his bed and saw Madison and Jamie lying there together, she looked back at him, and he was taking his shirt off. “Is this what you think of me? Are you fucking crazy?” she yelled as she turned away buttoning her shirt. He grabbed for her, “I know you’re very curious and thought you’d love this for your first time Tessa. Was I wrong?” he held her arm. She reached up with her other hand and punched him in the jaw. “Nice,” he winked and gave her his steamy eyed look. Tessa pulled free, and Lucas grabbed for her as she turned to run out the door. She tripped and hit her head on his dresser. Lucas pulled her up and looked at her eye. His eyes changed, he looked less fucked up and more concerned. “Don’t you ever fucking touch me again,” she yelled as she tried to pull her arm away again, “Let go of me or I will scream.” “Lucas let the bitch go, we are still waiting,” Jamie said. “ALEX!” she screamed. Lucas let go of her, and she ran down the stairs. Alex was at the bottom. “Take me home now, please.”
*** Lucas picked up his shirt and threw it on, “You can leave now.” “Really?” From his look, they knew he was very serious. “You served your purpose,” he growled. Lucas walked downstairs and Tommy grabbed him, “What the fuck just happened?” “Just doing what needs to be done,” Lucas laughed and pulled away. Jade slapped him across the face. “You should be fucking thanking me, Jade,” Lucas snapped and walked into the bathroom. Madison and Jamie walked down the stairs, and Tommy saw them. He knew exactly what Lucas had done and he knew he couldn’t tell Jade. ~ Alex and Phoebe took Tessa home: not a word was spoken. Tessa went in the bathroom and quietly sobbed. How could he? She thought. She looked in the mirror and her eye was black and blue. “Shit.” She washed her face and brushed her teeth and then walked out into the living room past Alex and Phoebe, grabbed a bag of peas from the freezer and put it on her eye. “Did he hit you Tessa?” Alex growled. “No, actually I hit him and then my dumb ass fell and smacked my head on his dresser.” “That’s good. I would’ve killed him. Tessa, what happened?” “Nothing Alex and I can guarantee I’m done.” The next morning Lucas called the Spot and told Josie he wouldn’t be able to work there anymore. “Bullshit, boy- — I need you on Saturday nights. Tessa called an hour ago and changed her schedule. Does this have anything to do with that?” Josie asked. “No. Okay — I’ll be there,” Lucas said. *** Break was over on Monday and Tessa walked into school with a black and blue eye. She walked past the boys looking down. Lucas saw her eye and slammed his locker and walked the other way. *** On Wednesday night, she was at her mother’s. She sat alone in a small apartment bedroom and thought about what to do next. Later that night she helped her mom wash dishes, “Mom, I want to go visit Aunt Ann.” “At the Cape?” Maggie asked. “Yep, just for a long weekend. I figured I could take a bus. I really need this. We have a three- day weekend coming up, and I could miss a day of school. Can I, please?” Tessa’s voice broke “Of course Tessa, of course,” Maggie hugged her.
CHAPTER THREE Tessa got off the Greyhound bus and immediately saw her great Aunt’s big car that she had driven since Tessa could remember. It was a pale yellow 1960’s Dodge Dart still in mint condition. “Hello Tessa,” Ann hugged her tightly. “Look at you!” Ann and Tessa’s embrace lasted for a long time. Both had tears falling but not because they were sad, they were happy to see one another. It had been far too long. Ann handed Tessa the keys to the car, and Tessa drove to the beach house. Ann and her late husband Fred built the house themselves over forty years ago. Tessa and Ann walked into the house hand in hand. Tessa smiled as she watched Ann grab the bucket of scraps under the sink and put them in a dish outside the door facing the parking lot. Ann didn’t waste anything. Bread bags, tin foil, and glass jars were always washed and reused. Thanksgiving turkey carcasses and ham bones were made into delicious soups. She washed clothes and hung them on the line even in the winter. She only used the dryer if she had to. She believed careful planning could save time and lots of money. She loved all people regardless of what others thought. She was very involved in her church and helping people in her community and did so without spending a lot of money. When Tessa was younger, Aunt Ann used to come help her mother with her home and family. When Maggie, Ann’s only niece, was having children she was always there to lend a hand. Ann loved the garden, and she talked to the plants as she cared for them because if you take care of them and love them they will take care of you. Tessa never knew if it was true or just coincidence, but whenever Ann helped with the garden it produced two or three times what it did when she wasn’t there. Ann brought bags full of high- quality clothes whenever she visited and always laughed at what others got rid of. She could remove any spot with something found in any households cupboard and fix any imperfection in clothing with a needle, thread, or a patch, leaving it appearing brand new. She never had children; an undetected miscarriage during World War II shattered that dream. Ann didn’t wallow in self- pity; she still loved life to the fullest. She didn’t seem to care what people thought of her. She was what some called eccentric. Ann was one of Tessa’s favorite people in the entire world. Fred had a good job, and he and Ann worked very hard. Neither made a lot of money but with careful investing and saving they had a beautiful home on the Atlantic Ocean without any debt against it. Their car was ancient but in showroom condition. Their furniture was always covered with slipcovers unless people came to visit and Tessa immediately noticed it had been removed, and assumed it was because she was there. Ann laughed from behind Tessa, “I took those covers off when Fred passed away and never put them back on.” “Rebelling are you?” Tessa laughed. “Aren’t we all dear?” she handed Tessa a cup of tea and patted the couch next to her. Tessa laughed and sat down, “I suppose.” “Your Grandmother called after she saw you at Maggie’s and was very upset,” Ann took a drink of her tea and peered over the cup waiting for Tessa to respond. “That was a bad night,” Tessa whispered. Ann laughed, “I guess it was. You’re going to be just fine, dear one.” “Things are a mess Aunt Ann,” Tessa closed her eyes. “I want to hear all about it, let’s grab some blankets and cuddle up on the deck. Remember your…” Ann started.
Tessa held up her winter hat and smiled, “My hat?” Ann laughed and grabbed hers. Tessa and Ann sat on the deck “Are you sure it’s not too cold out here for you?” Ann shook her head no, “Mr. and Mrs. Balen passed away a month apart. They donated the house to our church. Do you see that young man over there? He’s a smart man. He has a hat on keeping his ears warm and using the heat that would normally escape from his head to keep him toasty on this cold winter day. He’s not in the house staying warm wasting the day playing games or watching TV. He’s out here in the cold enjoying the sunshine. Using his hands and able body to take care of what may someday be that man’s home, a place to live his life. He is tearing down that old house, and I really think he is going to rebuild it. I’ve watched him save the wood that was not rotted, as if he plans to reuse it. It’s not too cold out here for him.” Tessa smiled. “He’s very nice to watch Tessa,” Ann laughed. “He’s handsome; do you have a crush Aunt Ann?” Tessa laughed. “I’m too old to have a crush. And he’s very young. I don’t even buy green bananas anymore. I do however still have my eyes,” Ann winked, “Okay… tell me everything Tessa, about this Lucas.” Tessa gave her the PG version of her last few months. She tried not to cry but failed, and Ann cried with her. She left out the part about the two girls on New Year’s Eve but did tell her he kissed someone, and she saw it. The man walked down the ladder and waved at Ann, and she waved back. “Well let’s go inside, even he’s smart enough to know when enough is enough,” Ann said as Tessa helped her up. They made dinner, and Ann made an extra plate. “What’s that for?” “The neighbor, his light’s still on. I assume he’s working hard in there. We have plenty; you want to take it over to him?” Tessa giggled, “I wouldn’t want to intrude… you go ahead.” “Nonsense, you go. I will be fine.” It was dark as Tessa knocked on the door knowing he wouldn’t hear her with hearing the saw going. She knocked harder and then opened the door and set the plate on the floor inside the door. She told Ann that she had set it inside as they ate dinner together. “You’re doing the right thing Tessa and besides kissing that girl the other night, so is he. Getting over your first love is never easy, I know this,” Ann said with sadness in her gray eyes. “I’m sorry; you must miss Uncle Fred terribly.” “I miss Fred; he was my best friend and partner for most of my life. He wasn’t my first love though. My first love, my first husband, the father of the only child I ever carried, was killed during the war. I was wild about him, and he was about me. We married after a two- month courtship. It was either get married or have premarital sex,” Ann laughed. Tessa smiled at her, “I didn’t know.” “Oh, we don’t talk about it, but Joseph was beautiful. Tall and well built, very well built. He had copper hair and blue eyes. We butted heads and made up every day. We had passion, he was… my Joe. He looked an awful lot like my new neighbor,” Ann giggled. There was a knock on the door and Ann went to answer it. “Thank you for supper,” Tessa heard a man’s voice. “My great niece brought it over for you. We watched you working on the house and saw a light on. We figured you were probably hungry,” Ann explained.
“I was, thank you ma’am.” “It’s Ann,” Tessa could hear the smile in her aunt's voice. “Well, thank you, Ann,” he said in the same tone. “May I ask what you plan to do with the Balen home?” “I plan to rebuild it. They owned the lot next to them as well so I’ll be expanding. I hope to use it as my main home. I’ll be traveling a lot. It's peaceful here, I like it,” he shared with her. “Well then it’s good to meet you finally,” she gushed. “The pleasure is mine, Ann.” Ann sat next to Tessa and smiled. “First date?” Tessa laughed. Ann rubbed her hand on Tessa’s cheek, “And what a perfect date it was.” “I loved Fred very much, but I understand how you feel about your Lucas. Young love is amazing. I often wonder what life would have been like had Joe not passed. But I know that wasn’t God’s plan for me. You’ll get over this Tessa. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. Fred asked me to marry him at least five times over three years before I finally said yes. But I waited and did so with no regrets,” Ann smiled. “There is no rewind button in life Tessa. What hell we walk through has to be learned from as we continue moving forward. If we sit and wallow, the hell will consume us. Fred showed me that, it took a little longer than he expected, but we had a great life, one with no regrets.” “Thank you,” Tessa smiled. “Don’t let it consume you. Promise me Tessa that you will walk through without looking back. We make mistakes throughout life and that’s what we are supposed to do, but we have to learn from those mistakes. We can’t change the past, but your future is beautiful you just have to let yourself see the beauty in it,” Ann looked at Tessa, “Ready for bed, you look tired.” Tessa ran the next morning and made breakfast before Ann got out of bed. They looked at scrapbooks and listened to old music. Ann and Tessa took a walk after lunch, and before dinner sat on the deck and watched her neighbor work. Ann took dinner over to him that night, and he hugged her and kissed the top of her head after thanking her. Before bed, they talked more. Tessa loved to hear Ann’s stories from the era she secretly wished she was raised in. “I’ve had the best two days with you Tessa. The best days in many, many, years. Thank you for coming to visit,” Ann hugged her. “Aunt Ann, I love and admire you I always have. I needed you, and you were here as always. Thank you for having me,” Tessa said, returning her hug. Ann smiled and rubbed her cheek as she always did. A loving term of endearment that only Aunt Ann gave. Tessa woke in the morning and ran in the cold with her hat on her head. She felt so close to God when she ran and even closer as she looked over the beautiful ocean. She walked closer to the water and stood there and squatted down hugging herself as she thought about the wisdom she had gained during the past two days. God had given her a beautiful family, and for that, she was thankful. She stood up and turned to walk towards the house and saw the neighbor, Ann’s “Joe,” drinking a cup of what she assumed was coffee. She waved to him. He nodded and waved back. She made toast and smiled at the browning banana’s. She boiled water for tea and looked at the clock. She walked into her Aunt’s room, and she was still asleep. Tessa made tea and took it into Ann’s room. Ann had a slight smile on her face. “Aunt Ann,” she whispered. Ann said nothing. Tessa reached over and gently rubbed her arm.
“I made you some tea,” Tessa said a bit louder. Ann didn’t wake up. Tessa shook her shoulder, and Ann’s arm fell to the side of her body. “Aunt Ann, wake up!” Tessa said louder. “Aunt Ann,” Tessa cried as she lifted her up and held her. “No! No! No!” Tessa sobbed. She held her Aunt’s lifeless body against her as she dug into her pocket and grabbed her phone and dialed 911. She laid her down and unlocked the door as the operator instructed and then went back into Ann’s room and snuggled up to her and sobbed. *** The ambulance pulled in, and Ann’s Joe ran to meet them. “What’s going on?” he asked as he followed them into the house. “Not sure, do you know the owner?” they asked him. “She’s my neighbor,” he answered. They followed the sound of Tessa’s sobbing into Ann’s room. “Please wake up Aunt Ann, please wake up,” Tessa cried. Tessa laid crying and holding her beloved Aunt. “Miss you need to get off the bed and let us get to work,” the paramedics instructed. “No! Aunt Ann please, please wake up,” she cried and shook her, “Please!” “Miss- — now,” they instructed urgently. “Come on,” Ann’s Joe said softly as he picked her up and carried her out of the room as she cried. He sat her on the couch, and she stood and started to run towards the room. He grabbed her and held her back. She tried to pull away, and he held her tighter. “You have to let them work, they’re trying to help her,” he said soothingly. Tessa sat on the floor outside Ann’s room and called her mother. “Mom,” she sobbed quietly, “I need you.” Ann’s Joe grabbed the phone when he realized she was not able to talk. “Hello. I’m Ann’s neighbor Collin,” he said as he looked in the room. The paramedics had put Ann on a stretcher and covered her with a sheet. “I’m very sorry,” he said as they wheeled her out. “NO!” Tessa screamed, and he held her against him as she fought to run out after them. “LET ME GO!” she screamed. He sat on the floor with his one arm wrapped around her restraining her and the other holding the phone as he whispered “Shh,” in her ear trying to soothe her. “What hospital?” he yelled after the paramedics, and they answered him. Tessa now sobbed silently, and he was able to tell Maggie what was going on. He hung up and put his other arm around her and sat against the wall. “Your Mother is calling your Aunt’s Pastor. He should be here soon,” he said softly. “I’m going to sit with you until he gets here. Your Mother is going to be here as soon as she can.” “Thank you.” “Are you cold?” “No,” her voice squeaked and she began crying again. He pulled her closer to him and held her head against his shoulder and let her cry. They had sat there for over an hour before Tessa fell asleep She woke up and walked to the bathroom when she came out his back was to her and his arms were
crossed over his chest. He was looking out the door towards the ocean. “Thank you and sorry. I’m going to shower,” Tessa said and quickly walked back into the bathroom. She was embarrassed, sad, and angry. While dressing, she heard two men talking in the kitchen. “Her mother should be here soon, I guess. It was all a bit chaotic, Pastor Lou.” “I’m glad you were here for her.” “I wish I could stay. She was so sad…is she going to be alright?” “Of course, and praise be to God that she was here and that you were here. Ann wasn’t alone.” “I’ll miss my flight if I don’t go now.” “Go, she’ll be fine. Stay safe son.” “Always.” Tessa walked out of the bathroom slowly and immediately recognized Pastor Lou from a summer VBS as well as past trips to visit Ann when they had gone to her church on Sundays. He opened his arms, and she ran into them and cried, “Oh Tessa, it’s you.” The family arrived and calling hours were held. Ann had chosen cremation and wished to be buried in Syracuse with Fred and her siblings. It was a small service. Everything happened so quickly. *** At home, few people knew about Ann’s passing. She hadn’t lived in the area for years and aside from Maggie and her siblings no one ever really got to know Ann. She was an angel. Anyone who took the time to know her would immediately be able to see that. Tessa replayed their last conversations over and over in her head and took comfort that, as Pastor Lou had said to Ann’s Joe, ‘she wasn’t alone when she passed.' Maggie shared in his sentiments and Tessa tried to as well. *** Jade, Phoebe, and Becca all gave Tessa a card on her first day back to school and Lucas watched the exchange. Tessa saw him from the corner of her eye and he looked confused as he walked up and tried to grab her arm. “Don’t, it’s none of your business,” Tessa sidestepped him and quickly walked down the hall to class. The next few weeks Tessa was very withdrawn. She went to the library at lunch and skipped Alex’s basketball games. She was keeping it together on the outside but doing just the minimal to take care of herself. She ate just a little and was no longer running. The thing is, nobody really saw it. Everyone’s lives were busy, and Tessa had never been the type to need anyone. The only person she confided in was Toby through letters and email. He was her source of strength. She asked that he not say anything to anyone, and he respected her request. ~ On Valentine's Day weekend, Toby came home. They hung out and talked a lot, he insisted on taking her out to dinner. They went to a place in Ithaca. They sat at the restaurant talking, he even made her laugh. Toby excused himself and went to the bathroom. Tessa took a deep breath and sat back. When she looked up, she saw Lucas walk in with his mother. Tessa immediately looked away. Lucas’s mom saw her. “Let’s go say hi,” Kate smiled at Lucas as she walked towards her. “Hello Tessa, how are you?” “How are you?” she smiled brightly at Lucas’s Mom. “Much better now, thank you for looking after my boy while I was getting help, Tessa. By the way, you’re an excellent cook.”
“It wasn’t a problem,” she forced a smile. “Lucas where are your manners? Aren’t you going to say hello to Tessa?” “Hello Tessa,” Lucas said as if he were in agony. Toby walked out and smiled. “Toby you remember Lucas, right?” “Hey Lucas, how are you?” Toby asked and extended his hand. “I’m fine Toby,” he smiled and shook his hand. “This is my mother, Kate.” “Very nice to meet you,” Toby gave her a hug, “You’ve got quite an athlete here.” “He is. I’m very proud of him.” There was an awkward silence and Tessa finally spoke “Toby are we ready to go?” “No dessert?” Toby smiled. “No thank you.” “I wanted some, but I guess I could wait,” Toby winked at her. Tessa said goodbye to Kate and she hugged Tessa. Toby said goodbye to Lucas and they left. Tessa managed to say absolutely nothing to Lucas and that made her very happy. Toby smiled at her knowing what she was thinking and hugged her. Since the events of New Year’s Eve, the two had gotten very close. They emailed or texted back and forth daily. Tessa knew he was the kind of man that she could love without feeling the hurt that Lucas had caused her. She loved Toby, but it wasn’t the lust filled way she felt towards Lucas. They talked about their future dreams and hopes. She knew that he would wait for her forever, not just because he said it, but she could feel it. Toby was her Fred. “Hey angel, I have something for you,” Toby said when they pulled in the driveway at her house. He parked the car and opened the console that separated them. He took out a box and gave it to her. Tessa opened the box; it was a beautiful silver ring. It had hands that made up the shape of a heart and a crown sat on top of them. “Do you know what this is?” She shook her head no. “It’s called a Claddagh ring. The hands that are touching signify friendship, they make a heart which means love, and the crown’s meaning is loyalty.” “It is beautiful Toby. I don’t know what to say. All I got you was a stupid card.” “I didn’t even know I was coming home, I didn’t plan to give you this now. I just knew someday I would. Tessa I know you are it for me. I just want you to know that. I expect that you wear this to remember that. Whenever you decide to accept or not accept is up to you,” He watched as her eyes widened, and he let out a deep laugh. “What are you thinking angel?” “I don’t know,” she blushed. “You know that’s not an engagement ring don’t you? It’s a promise from me to you, nothing more. Do you feel better now?” Toby asked smiling at her. “Not really,” Tessa whispered. “Okay Angel, spill it,” Toby took her hand. After a long pause she spoke, “Well I don’t know- — what does that mean for us right now?” he looked confused. “Does this mean you want to….” Toby laughed out loud, “I adore you, but I don’t want that now.” “So you don’t want to have sex with me?” Tessa asked curiously. She wished she hadn’t asked. Toby Green was a beautiful man, but those feelings, the desire and lust she felt for Lucas had yet to blossom within her for him. He closed his eyes and leaned back, “Of course I do, but you’re eighteen and I’m twenty- one. I’m not home a lot. If I opened that door, I wouldn’t be able to focus on what I need to, because I would want to be with you even more than I do now. And then… there’s you. I have a feeling you’re going to be a lot to
handle. I want to be the only one handling you. I’m going to wait for you, and ask you to do the same for me.” “Okay,” she smiled as she looked at the ring. She would feel those things and then she would no longer want Lucas Links. He laughed, “Tessa Ross, it’s going to be a long couple years.” She leaned over and kissed him, “Toby, I’ll want you as a graduation present.” He smiled, and passion filled his eyes, “I love you angel.” Toby went to church with her in the morning. She sang with her group and she felt whole again. She didn’t want him to leave that afternoon, but it was so much different than, not wanting Lucas to leave. “Okay Angel, I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but I can promise you as soon as I get more than twenty- four hours off I will be here with you. Take care of the Jeep. I love you Tessa,” He took her face and kissed her gently. His flight was called, and he pulled away. “Very nice,” he smiled. “Yes it was,” she smiled back. “Love you, Toby.” *** The past few weeks had been much different for Lucas. He had filled his days with school and basketball. Lucas’s weekends were spent with his mother and hanging out with Ryan, Tommy, and occasionally Alex. He went to counseling once a week with Sadi. He finally felt somewhat happy about having this child. He insisted that she have counseling once a week alone and was paying for it with the money he made at the Spot, even though his father had offered. Sadi was beginning to understand more and more each day that they would be parents, but not together. She expressed resentment less and less each week. Lucas hoped that she would continue to grow up, just like he was doing. They had their sonogram to find out the sex of the child in three weeks. Lucas was content with the fact that Tessa was with Toby, he knew he was a good man. Contentment, however, didn’t hinder his love or desire for Tessa. He still knew how badly he needed her friendship, her hugs, her kisses, and her love. Therefore, if Lucas was to be honest with himself, he knew regardless of how things were, contentment was truly not achieved. Her phone chimed, and it was Toby. - hey angel just wanted to let you know I have survival training in Maine next week, it is going to suck, but I think we’ll be getting a couple days off after that, so I hope to see you soon… Toby - TOBY!!! I am SO EXCITED, I have missed you. I can’t wait to hear all about it. That is if you’re allowed to tell me… Tessa - If I tell you, I may have to kill you… Toby - I know top secret squirrel poop right… Tessa - Yes, angel. Get some sleep, I love you…. Toby - I love you, goodnight…. Tessa The week dragged in school. Tessa couldn’t wait till Saturday night. They were having a girls’ night and then they were off for a week. Tessa wouldn’t have to run into Lucas again until after she got to see Toby. Each day with him erased part of the hurt left by Lucas. Tessa had never thought you could love two people at once, but now she was unsure. She loved Toby: really loved him. He made her happy; he was
considerate, faithful, gentle and patient with her. Even more so than she sometimes desired, but this convinced her even more that he was perfect for her. Lucas was beautiful physically but damaged beyond what she could at her age deal with and survive without being further injured. Toby and she had discussed it in detail. What she didn’t share with Toby was done out of love and kindness to him. Tessa didn’t share that she felt him when he was in the same hallway as she was in. She smelled him as he walked by even if her back was to him. When he touched her, it was felt throughout her entire body and soul. It made her sick to know he still had this effect on her after all he had put her through. She had shoved it back so far in her heart purposely leaving the rest open for Toby. Tessa knew someday she would feel the same way about him, she had to. He was her Fred. The girls sat in the hot tub, and Jade talked about Tommy. Things were very hot and heavy with them. Jade and Tommy planned to get married. Jade loved him madly, and he felt exactly the same way for her. Tommy’s parents were not completely over the moon about the idea but felt that there wasn’t much they could do about it. Jade wasn’t on the pill yet, but they used condoms. “Tessa it feels weird hanging out with Lucas and not you,” Jade said. “Okay — weird conversation,” Phoebe said. “No, it's fine, I don’t want to be around him Jade. I will not be around him. He broke my heart, and I thank God Toby has been here.” “What was the final straw Tessa?” “Jade, do you really think she wants to talk about it?” Phoebe shot at her. “Phoebe, it's fine. Let’s see, um New Year’s Eve. It was not the best night,” Tessa laughed. Tessa had confided in two people about that night, Phoebe and Toby. She would normally have told Jade, but she had decided not to because of Tommy. Tessa didn’t want to ruin what they had by putting her drama in the mix of things. “Were any of them?” Jade asked sarcastically. “Okay Jade, what’s up? This is odd coming from you.” “I don’t know. I kind of like the guy, just seems you two had crap luck. Now I hardly see you. I just wish it were different that’s all,” Jade snapped. “Seriously Jade, she has been here busting her ass to get through this — pretty much alone. Where have you been?” Phoebe snapped. “Phoebe, Jade, please don’t,” Tessa said, “I’m good now. I certainly don’t need drama on the home front.” John pulled in the driveway with Alex and walked out to the hot tub where the girls sat. Both of their heads hung low. Phoebe looked at Tessa and Tessa shrugged her shoulders. “Tessa, could you come inside with me for a minute?” John asked. “Okay,” she said, “Be right back. So much for a drama- less home front.” Tessa laughed to the girls.
CHAPTER FOUR Alex stood frozen looking at the ground, “Everything alright?” Phoebe asked. Alex shook his head no. They heard Tessa scream from the house, she yelled no about ten times after her screams. “Alex what is it?” Phoebe scrambled out and grabbed his hand. “There was an accident in Maine. Toby….” his voice cracked, “Toby didn’t make it.” Maggie pulled in the driveway and walked in the house. She held Tessa as the girls walked through to change. Alex was going to take them home. Tessa sobbed with her head buried in Maggie’s shirt. ~ “Hey Lucas, it's Tommy, give me a call when you get a minute. It’s important.” An hour later Tommy answered the phone, “Hey Lucas.” “What’s going on Tommy, you sounded off man?” “Lucas, Toby died.” Lucas didn’t say anything for a few minutes, when he finally spoke, “How is she?” “She won’t talk to anyone. The girls were at the house when she found out and Alex took them home. Jade went back this morning and Tessa took off in his Jeep. They haven’t found her yet.” “Okay, I’ll help look for her. I’ll be at the farm in a bit.” Lucas got in his SUV and drove to where he hoped she would be. He saw tire tracks through the snow leading down to Camp. He drove down, parked, and ran in. Tessa was laying on the couch sobbing. She didn’t hear him come in. He sat next to her and touched her shoulder. “Hey Tessa.” She looked up at him startled and glowered at him. She curled back up in a ball. “I’m going to text Tommy so he can tell your family where you are, alright?” “I want to be alone; I don’t want to see anyone right now. I certainly don’t want you here,” Tessa choked out. “Ok, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. They’re pretty worried about you right now.” Tessa stood up and walked out to the Jeep; he followed her and grabbed the keys out of her hand. He took a deep breath bracing himself for what was to come. “I‘ll tell them I’m with you and you’re fine, but you aren’t driving anywhere.” “I don’t want you here either!!!” she screamed at him as she tried to grab the keys out of his hands. He held them tightly as she screamed and slapped at his hands. He didn’t let go. She began crying harder and hitting him in the chest. He pulled her against him so that her hands were caught between their bodies. “I hate you!” she screamed and managed to free herself from his grasp enough to turn her body away from him. He grabbed her and pulled her back against his chest holding her until she stopped fighting him. “I get that Tessa, but you can’t be alone,” Lucas said. “I’ll just sit and wait until you’re ready and then I’ll give you a ride home.” She pulled away from him and walked inside and slammed the door in his face. He sent Tommy and Alex a text. - I found her, but she wants to be alone, she is safe, if it’s alright I’ll wait with her until she is ready… Lucas Alex replied okay.
Lucas walked in and Tessa was lying in bed in a ball completely covered up. He could hear her soft cries. He wished he could help her but as she had said, she hated him. As much as it tore him apart Lucas knew he deserved it. She had slept for two hours before she woke up. Lucas had grabbed a bottle of water out of his SUV and handed it to her. She drank it and lay back down and cried herself to sleep. Another two hours passed and she woke again, and he was still there. Tessa rolled her eyes at him and covered her head. It was five at night, twenty- four hours after Tessa had learned about Toby’s death and she stood up. She went to the cupboard and grabbed baby wipes and washed her face. She blew her nose and drank more water. “Thank you for the water,” she looked down and played with her ring. “You’re welcome Tessa. Your ring is beautiful, was it from Toby?” “Yes,” she snapped and lie back down and fell asleep. Two hours later Alex texted, - Mom and Dad need her to come home. Toby’s parents want to see her, can you get her here?... Alex - I will… Lucas “Tessa, wake up,” Lucas whispered in her ear. She didn’t move. He picked her up and she started to move and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Toby,” she whimpered. Lucas kissed her head and was overtaken by her scent. He had missed that smell, her hair. He noted that she felt lighter. He opened the door to the Lexus, and put her in and got into the driver’s side. “What are you doing?” Tessa asked sounding defeated. “Taking you home: Alex sent a message. Toby’s parents want to see you. They’re coming over to your house,” Lucas explained softly. “What time is it?” “Almost seven.” He pulled into the driveway. John, Maggie, and Alex came out to the SUV. Tessa looked at him, “Thank you.” He simply nodded his head and looked away. Seeing her broken crushed him. Knowing there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it cut into his heart. John and Maggie walked in with Tessa, Alex got in Lucas’s vehicle. “Thanks, Lucas, how did you know where to find her?” “One of the two places Tessa goes when she’s upset or angry,” Lucas said. “Alex what the hell happened?” “Not sure, I just know it was an accident and his parents are going to be here any minute to see Tessa. I assume they’ll let us know. I’ll call you later and let you know, thanks again Lucas.” Alex said as he got out and went inside. Tessa went and showered, she got dressed. She brushed her teeth and took a deep breath as she heard Chewy bark announcing that guests were pulling in. Tessa walked in the kitchen and sat next to her mother. Toby’s parents walked in and Tessa stood and walked to his mother and hugged her. They both cried and held each other for a long time. Toby’s father rubbed both their backs as he held back his tears. “Alright ladies let’s have a seat.” He said and kissed his wife’s cheek. Mr. Green told them about the accident. During training, he fell and hit his head. He was twenty feet up and although he had several injuries it was a fatal blow to the head that killed Toby instantly. Everyone
had tears falling down their faces, except for Toby’s father. He continued talking about the services that would be held in Syracuse; they didn’t want the large motorcade and had a lot of family from out of town that would be flying in. Toby’s grandparents were buried in a small Irish Catholic cemetery in East Syracuse and they wanted him to be with them. The services would be held a week from Wednesday with a family viewing on Tuesday night. They told Tessa that the Jeep was hers and although she objected they insisted that’s what Toby would want. They knew Toby loved her and that they had future plans. They had known her and her family for years. And Toby was part of what the Ross’ considered their extended family, his loss was horrific. Tessa spent the next week crying and grieving. She pushed everyone away except for her new friends in drama club. She went to practice and smiled. She almost felt like she was being untrue to her new friends, but she was an actress there and was able to make herself smile and sing and not think about Toby or Ann. *** The service was horrible. Tessa couldn’t understand when people would say It was a beautiful service. There was absolutely nothing beautiful about seeing him in a box laying there lifeless and appearing waxy. There was nothing beautiful about people gathered inside a church crying, there was nothing beautiful about the black car that took him to the cemetery. There was absolutely nothing beautiful about the military men giving his mother a flag and the sound of the trumpet in the distance playing Taps. The dirt thrown on the casket that held her friend, a man she knew could love her and she would have loved him always, well there was nothing beautiful about that either. As Tessa looked down, she heard the cars leaving the cemetery. She stood outside the vehicle as the last car pull away. Maggie got out of the car and put her arm around Tessa. “Are you ready Tessa?” she asked softly. Tessa shook her head no and walked back over to the plot where they had thrown dirt on Toby. Maggie followed her. She watched as Tessa quickly wiped tears off her face. “It’s ugly Mom,” Tessa cried. “I know honey. Did you see the flowers? They’re beautiful,” Maggie was trying to distract Tessa. She read some of the cards, “Tessa did you see these, honey? I think they’re from friends of yours.” “Jade and Tommy sent these pretty ones,” she said and pointed to the roses. “Phoebe and Becca sent this arrangement, and this one is from Lucas.” Maggie pointed to the large basket of yellow roses and white Gerber daisies. Tessa looked at the flowers and took a deep breath, “Could you give me a minute Mom, and I’ll meet you in the car in a minute?” Maggie walked back to the car and Tessa dropped onto the dirt on her knees and cried even more tears. She tried to think of good things, like Toby, he was good… and that it must be a blessing that the ground had not been frozen so that they didn’t have to go through this again in the spring. She kissed the stone as she cried. She noticed the men in Navy uniforms standing back a hundred yards. One of them started walking towards her. He squatted down, handed her a tissue and put his hand on her shoulder. “He was a good man. I’m sorry for your loss Miss,” he kept his hand on her shoulder for a few moments and then slowly walked away. Tessa didn’t look at him and was thankful for the black large rimmed hat she wore so he couldn’t see her face. It was bad enough that people saw her as she sat in a dress on the ground which Toby was buried beneath. She took handfuls of loose gravel and allowed it to slip through her fingers as she cried. She stood wiped her knees off and walked to the car and they drove home. Tessa showered and changed into her pajamas. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a pill
from her field hockey injury, the one’s she took at camp the day Lucas moved out. She swallowed it down with a glass of water, walked past her family, and went upstairs to her room and cried herself to sleep. She slept the entire night. *** The next day at play practice, she made an excuse about missing practice due to illness. She didn’t talk about what happened, no one there knew a lot about her private life and she wanted to keep it that way. “Hey Tessa,” Mark the pizza boy, smiled. “Hey yourself, Mark.” “A bunch of us are going back to my place, very low key get together if you want to come feel free.” “Sounds great.” He looked stunned “Cool, you can follow me.” Tessa laughed as she followed Mark to his house. It was big and the basement was like a recreation room. It held a pool table, a few pinball machines, a projector screen, and a bar. Many of the cast drank, Tessa politely declined. She walked outside to escape the crowd for a moment and a bunch of girls were outside smoking pot. “Want some?” Cassidy, a girl in the play, asked. Tessa took a deep breath, “This will be a first for me but sure.” Tessa hit the small bowl twice and walked inside with them. There was a Karaoke machine and a bunch of them were singing. Tessa was smiling and completely focused on the music. She wasn’t thinking about Toby or Lucas, or her family, even though they were always there, the pain was always there, she was smiling and loved the disconnected feeling. Tessa and Cassidy sang together and laughed and smoked more. She had a great time. Her phone chimed - Hey, girl where are you? We’re at your house, your Dad and Alex went on a delivery and we wanted to hang with you… Jade - hanging with the cast, you guys should probably pick me up, lol... Tessa She texted Jade the address. Jade and Phoebe pulled in and saw Cassidy and Tessa laughing and talking. Cassidy waved to them and walked into the house. Tessa was wasted. Her eyes bright red and she was laughing hysterically. “Let’s go,” Jade snapped and dragged her to her truck. Becca drove the Jeep following Jade. Tessa was singing and laughing and Phoebe laughed with her. Jade pulled into a gas station, Becca followed her and parked behind her. Tommy and Lucas were getting gas. Tessa laughed and hung out the window. “Hey boys, what’s up?” she yelled and laughed. Phoebe pulled her back in. “Tommy — what the hell is wrong with her?” Jade asked. “I don’t know pretty girl. Lucas go see what’s up with her,” Tommy kissed Jade. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lucas put the gas cap on and hung the nozzle on the pump. “Come on Lucas, she isn’t drunk, I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” Jade pleaded. Lucas walked over and tapped on the window, Tessa looked at him and smirked, turned away, and started laughing. He opened the door. “Hello Tessa,” Lucas said coolly. “Jade wants to know what you’ve been doing.” Tessa turned and looked at him and pulled her shades down, “Well first I went to rehearsal, then to Pizza Boy’s house,” she tried not to laugh, “Then well I sang and had fun and danced and well I didn’t cry
tonight.” “That’s nice Tessa but what shit did you do? Did you drink, do pills, or smoke something?” Lucas demanded. “D. None of the above,” Tessa laughed. “I shot up,” she whispered and laughed harder. “Get out,” Lucas demanded. “Not happening,” Tessa laughed. He grabbed her and dragged her to his SUV. “Tommy ride with Jade,” he said and before she could get out he buckled her seat belt and peeled out of the driveway. “Where does that little fuck live?” Lucas asked. “Seriously, I’m not telling you, and by the way I think it was awfully nice of them to share with me,” Tessa laughed, “Notice I said...I think it was nice that they shared WITH me and not share me?” Lucas pulled over on a dirt road. “Let me have your phone, Tessa,” he demanded. “Let me out, buzz kill,” she laughed as she tried to open the locked door. “I can call Alex and I will if you don’t give me the address to that party Tessa!” “Listen I didn’t shoot up silly boy,” she slapped him lightly on the face and then grabbed his chin, “I smoked, and I like it. And I can guarantee I’ll do it again,” she laughed. “Don’t fucking lie to me Tessa!” “Lie? To you? Never Lucas!” she started laughing. He was furious, “What’s so funny? I’ve never lied to you!” “Please take me back to my prison. Apparently I don’t deserve to let loose once in a while, my friends suck,” she laughed. He punched the steering wheel three times and she cranked up the music and sang. He looked at her and she was smirking. “I don’t need you of all people to have a savior complex with me Lucas. Take me home, NOW!” Tessa laughed when he let out an angry growl. He stared at her with his jaw clenched. Tessa crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue and laughed. Lucas pulled in the driveway. Jade got out and went to his window. “So what’s wrong with her?” He looked Tessa and she glared at him. “She drank, she’ll be fine,” he said getting out. “What are you doing?” Tessa asked him annoyed. “I am going to hang out with you Tessa, for about an hour to make sure you’re okay,” Lucas said in exaggerated excitement and clapped his hands. “I don’t need you to,” she stomped her foot. Lucas took a deep breath and walked in the house, Chewy was all over him. “I’m hungry,” Tessa whispered under her breath as she looked in the fridge. Lucas smirked and looked down. “What’s so funny?” “Nothing Tessa,” he said and he pet Chewy. “Chewy get over here, you’re my puppy, yes you are,” Chewy ran over to her. “Chewy you suck,” Lucas laughed. “Really?” Tessa asked. “Well… you swallow,” she started laughing and everyone joined. Tessa made popcorn and shared with everyone. She sat on the couch and snuggled up to Phoebe. Phoebe laughed and snuggled with her too. Lucas stayed until she fell asleep. ***
The next day Tessa and her mother filled out Thank you notes with Toby’s mom. She sent personal ones to her friends and Lucas. She saw the book of people who attended the services and saw Lucas’s name. When they were finished, she felt emotionally drained. The week passed like the rest. She missed Toby, she hated Lucas, and she slept and hung out with her friends at play practice. On Saturday Tessa cleaned, took a nap, went to play practice and then she dropped off the Jeep. Tessa was going to hang out with Cassidy, Mark, and a couple other friends. They decided to go to the club in Syracuse. It just so happened that Ben’s band was there playing; she saw it on Facebook and wanted to surprise him. Tessa smoked on the way there. She was happy and she was going to see Ben tonight, almost two weeks after Toby died. I’m not going to let it tear me apart. Lucas has already done that, and Toby would want me to be happy, although probably not the way I’m doing it, but hey it works, she thought. Jade texted Tessa and she told her she was with her fellow cast members on her way to Syracuse to a teen dance club and she would be back late. She shut off her phone; she didn’t want to deal with the drama. Tessa walked in and saw Ben singing and playing guitar, he looked so hot. He wore faded jeans that sat on his hips, a white long sleeve cotton shirt, and a navy knit cap. His brown hair was peeking out from under his cap and his full pink lips looked divine. She danced and laughed and had fun. Cassidy kept talking about how hot he was, and Tessa laughed. *** “I bet I can get him to make out with me,” Tessa laughed. The band went on break and she saw Ben walk into the bathroom. “Come with me,” Tessa dragged Cassidy behind her. They walked into the men’s bathroom and Ben was at the urinal. Tessa peeked over his shoulder, “That’ll work.” Ben didn’t respond. He finished going to the bathroom and turned around and saw Tessa. Ben smiled and winked at her. “Well then — take it home with you,” he slowly walking towards her. She grabbed his face and kissed him. Cassidy was in shock and laughed as she walked out. “Tess what are you doing here?” “Sort of stalking you, I guess.” “You’re fucked up?” “A little.” She told him about her bet with Cassidy and that she had no idea they knew one another. “Cool. This is going to be fun! By the way… what’s up with you and Lucas?” “He moved home and we’re done.” “Perfect,” Ben winked, “Stand in the front Tess, I want to watch you dance.” The band took the stage and Ben sang directly to her. She smiled the whole time. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” Ben asked and the crowd cheered. “I am having a great time tonight too, I just met a hot little number in the men’s bathroom,” the crowd cheered again. “I think I’m going home with her tonight.” They crowd went wild. “Tess, come on up here.” Tessa shook her head no, “Hey hot stuff unless you want me to tell them about the bathroom, you’d better get that fine ass up here.” Cassidy pushed her up toward the stage. Ben put his arm around her and kissed her. “Do you all think she could sing? I mean could something this hot possibly get any hotter?” he asked.
He whispered in her ear, “What do you want to sing girl?” Tessa whispered in his ear and he talked to the band. They started playing; the song was Fade Into You by Mazzy Star. Ben played guitar as she sang. At the end of the song, he grabbed the back of her head and they kissed deeply, passionately, she didn’t care who was there, it felt good. The crowd went crazy and they both stood nose to nose and laughed at each other. “Let’s hear it for the very talented Tess,” Ben said. “You can take it home with you anytime you want to, girl.” She grabbed him by the waistband and kissed him again. The crowd cheered and she walked off the stage. Cassidy hugged her and laughed, “No way!” “This one’s for you hot stuff,” he started singing and Tessa felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and it was Jade and she was pissed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Tessa looked over Jade’s shoulder and saw Tommy and Lucas standing there. “Dancing and singing, Ben’s here… did you see him?” Tessa laughed. The set ended and Ben walked down. “Hey Jade, how are you?” Ben asked. “I’m fine Ben. Tessa, however, is going home and not with you.” Tessa grabbed Ben’s hand and walked out the door. Jade followed and yelled, “Tessa, you need to stop this shit. NOW.” They walked outside, she hugged Ben. He laughed and hugged her back. Tommy and Lucas walked out behind them. “Jade, I have a ride home,” she glared at Lucas. “Pizza Boy is perfectly capable of driving me home, and if not…” she stopped and looked up at Ben, “Ben — where are you staying tonight?” He laughed, “Where do you want me to stay?” Tessa laughed at him and he looked at Jade, who was livid. “We’re staying at the Marriot,” Ben smiled at Jade. “Okay Jade, I’ll ride with Pizza boy or I’ll be at the Marriot,” Tessa laughed. There was music playing and she started dancing with Ben, he was very amused by her and Lucas didn’t enjoy it at all, neither did Jade. “Like hell you will,” Jade said. “Tessa you just buried….” “Watch it, Jade,” she snapped. “Then you better cut it out,” Jade warned. “Ben, BABY,” she said exaggerating baby, “I’m going to finish listening to you and then I may consider going home, I’ll be riding with the PIZZA BOY.” *** “Anyone see Ben out there,” the bass player yelled. Ben ran on stage “I’m here, sorry. A little busy in the parking lot.” They all cheered. “Everyone give it up again for, Tess.” They all clapped. Lucas clenched his jaw and sat at a table near the stage. “Alright let’s get this place hopping.” The band played Wonderwall by Oasis, Tessa and Cassidy danced and laughed. Ben sang Everlong by the Foo Fighters: Cassidy and Tessa watched Ben and smiled. “Sorry man,” Tommy said to Lucas. Lucas shook his head and looked at Tessa, “Not your problem.”
The band sang a few more songs and he gestured for Tessa to come back on stage. He whispered in her ear, she laughed and smiled shaking her head yes. The band played Zombie by The Cranberries. Tessa sang it while she danced with Ben. The crowd went wild and he kissed her. He took her hand and placed it on his butt, she laughed and he kissed her again. “Hey Tess, have you looked at it yet?” Ben asked. She shook her head no and grinned. He undid his pants to a slow drum beat. Tessa laughed. He turned around and slide them down a bit, his white boxer briefs showed and she laughed. “See it now?” she shook her head yes and grinned. “Nice huh?” he said and she fanned herself dramatically. The crowd cheered. “You want to come over here and fix them for me girl?” She laughed and shook her head no, “I think she likes them off” he said to the crowd. The crowd whistled and cheered. He pulled them up and zipped them, leaving them unbuttoned. “Alright everyone… one last song and we’re out!” Ben sang STP’s Interstate Love Song and he danced with Tessa as he sang. They walked off stage and Ben followed Tessa. Cassidy and the crew came over and she introduced them to Ben, she told them that they already knew each other. Jade stood impatiently waiting. “Okay, so when can I see you again Tess?” “I don’t know.” “We play again in two weeks here but on Saturday,” Ben smiled, “Can you make it?” “Yes… but what about before then?” “I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I can work something out,” Ben kissed her. “See you soon Tessa Ross, the rock Goddess.” Tessa turned around and Jade and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go.” “I rode with them, and I’m leaving with them,” Tessa yelled. “Fine I’ll call Uncle John,” Jade glared at Tessa. “Seriously!” She said goodbye to Cassidy. “I’ll call you when my mother isn’t around,” she laughed and tossed her head towards Jade. Tessa followed Jade out to Lucas’s car and Jade opened the front door. “Get in,” Jade said. Tessa sat down and turned on the music. Lucas looked at her, “What!” Lucas reached in front of her and grabbed the seatbelt and buckled it. She gave him a dirty look. “There are four of us Tessa, don’t be difficult,” he said softly. Jade asked Lucas to turn down the radio, “What the hell was that Tessa?” “That was me having fun, Jade… and YOU screwing it up!” “Really Tessa, ME screwing it up? You need to slow it down. Your friends, Tessa, your real friends want to help you through this.” “I don’t need your help Jade, I’m good,” Tessa threw herself back against the seat. “No, you’re not! Toby has been dead for two weeks. Your Aunt died when you were there alone and you haven’t even talked to me about it, Tessa.” “What is there to say Jade? They died, and seriously… why now?” “What’s that supposed to mean Tessa?” Tessa turned on the radio, Lucas looked at her and she was looking out the window. “Lucas turn off the radio. Tessa — I asked you a question, what is that supposed to mean?” Jade snapped. “Figure it out,” Tessa yawned. “No freaking games Tessa, tell me!”
“Okay, I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit lately, and I have dealt with it. Now you want to step in? I don’t think so!” “What the hell are you talking about?” “I really don’t want to,” Tessa said in a snippy tone. “I really don’t care Tessa!” “Okay,” she spun around. “I go to school and hide from all of you because I don’t want to deal with this. I eat lunch in the fucking library every day while you all sit together. I come home after school and I’m alone. I go to rehearsal and come home…alone. I’ve talked to Toby about everything that I used to talk to you about and then he dies Jade, he was my support. Not you. Now I need to fill that fucking empty black feeling and now you want to step in? I’m dealing with this by myself, the way I need to, and you just keep rubbing my fresh wounds with old SHIT! Now don’t get me wrong — I’m happy for you. I love Tommy, but I have been on a fucking emotional rollercoaster over the past few months and I’ve done it alone. That’s the way it is and that’s the way I want it to be. Is that enough for you Jade? Was it necessary to do this in front of an audience?” “You’re the one who has chosen not to be around us, Tessa! We’re all friends, and this is your doing.” “Jade that’s enough,” Tommy said softly. “No, it’s not, Tommy,” she said trying not to cry. “Yes, it is. I’m fucking done with this conversation,” Tessa sneered. “Is this about Lucas?” Jade asked pissed off, “You two ended it nicely.” Tessa laughed, “Yeah we did, didn’t we Lucas?” He looked over at her, “Tessa, I’m sorry.” “Sorry for what buddy?” she asked. “Sorry for wanting to share with your friends?” “What does that mean?” Jade asked. “Not now Jade,” Tommy said, “We can talk later — please?” Lucas pulled off and stopped at a fast food restaurant, he ordered food for everyone and handed Tessa the bag. “I’m not hungry,” Tessa snapped. He rolled his eyes, “You will be.” Tessa turned the other way. A few minutes later she grabbed French fries and started to eat them. Lucas smirked at her and she smacked him. Lucas dropped Jade and Tommy off at their houses. The radio was playing as he pulled into Tessa’s driveway. Lucas parked and turned off the lights. He sat and watched her sleep. He slowly reached out and touched her curls. He hated watching her tonight but knew what it felt like to need to just lose reality for a while. He still loved her and he knew he would forever. But the reality was he would not let her settle for what he had to offer. She deserved better than him. She deserved better than the band boy too. Fuck. That hurt tonight, he thought. He leaned his seat back and put his arm over her seat and played with her hair. Tessa woke up and saw him sleeping and his fingers were wrapped around her hair. “Shit,” she said as she hit her foot against the dash. Lucas opened his eyes. He looked at her and quickly moved his hand. “Sorry,” his eyes widened searching for her reaction. “Thanks for the ride. You should have woke me up when we got here,” Tessa started to open the door. “Wait Tessa,” he said, sitting up and grabbing her arm. “What’s up Lucas?” “Please shut the door, Tessa.” “Lucas, I’m tired and really don’t think…” Tessa started. “Don’t think Tessa; just sit,” he closed his eyes and pleaded, “Please.”
“Ok fine,” she shut the door, he turned down the music. “You’re freaking me out.” She laughed “Really?” “Yes Tessa. You just lost two important people in your life and your smoking pot and acting reckless, that’s not you.” “It is now.” “No Tessa, you’re not thinking clearly, you’re not doing this right.” “Then please Lucas by all means, tell me how I should be dealing with this?” she rolled her eyes. “Not by getting fucked up,” he said, “You taught me that.” “Well, look at you now. You got through this, I will too. Are you still getting high Lucas? I could use a hookup,” she said sarcastically. “That shits not funny coming from you Tessa,” Lucas snapped and took a deep breath. “How would Toby feel?” “You don’t get to do that, Lucas!” “I’m sorry Tessa but if he loved you, he wouldn’t want you to be doing this to yourself.” “Okay, I’m done with this conversation,” she started opening the door, her eyes were on fire. He locked the door. “You need to talk Tessa — stop!” “I don’t want to talk,” she felt the tears starting. “Open the door Lucas!” “No I won’t.” “Is this because you’re pissed about Ben tonight?” Tessa asked trying to hurt him. “Nope actually, it isn’t,” Lucas answered. “It’s about you and your loss of both of them. God… I’m so sorry for everything you have gone through, baby.” She sat back and looked out the window. “Lucas — you’ve done worse than I’m doing to get through pain. I don’t understand how you can sit back and judge me and my actions.” “I’m not Tessa, I just don’t want you to go through anymore,” Lucas said softly. “You don’t get to say that to me Lucas — you don’t get to act like you give a shit! You go all superhero on my ass after what you did to me? Screw you Lucas. Open the fucking door now!” she started to cry. He didn’t open the door. “You’re not allowed to act like you care about me and my feelings! You don’t get to act like you know me! You don’t get to send flowers to a funeral that you attended, for what reason I still don’t know. You crush me over and over again and you think you can act concerned about me. I can’t believe you!” Tessa pulled up her legs and cried into her knees, “You brought me into a dark room, kissed me and blindfolded me, with two ex- fucks who tried to kick my ass not once but twice and you get to act concerned? I don’t think so!” “Tessa I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he looked down. She continued to cry, “I had a glimmer of hope that night, that maybe you felt just a little bit as much for me as I did for you! Maybe that you didn’t want to be without me. Maybe we could’ve figured something out and you did that to me. I cannot begin to tell you how that felt Lucas. How it felt to know that you wanted to share me with those two… animals.” He grabbed her hand. And she pulled it away. “Tessa I would’ve never done it,” Lucas’ eyes began to tear. “Why would you do that to me? Why were they there? Why would you invite me if you knew they would be there? You know what, I don’t want to know,” she wiped her face. “I just want to be alone.” “Tessa baby… don’t,” he touched her hair. “Lucas, I’ll never trust you again. Maybe someday I can forgive you, but I will never trust you, ever.” “You can, Tessa,” Lucas spoke softly, “I would never….” “Lucas I miss Ann, Toby,” she said and cried, “and I miss you… maybe not you but what we were together. You’re an ass! I’m handling this best way I know how.”
“Tessa I’m sorry, and I’m sorry about Jade and the people you need and why the fuck are you hiding in the library? You can’t do that anymore, ok!” “Understand, that right now, I need to.” He reached over the console and hugged her. He wanted to tell her what an idiot he was and how he did what he did to drive her away. He wanted her to be with someone like Toby and not a fuck up like him. She cried, and he kissed her head. He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers and looked in her eyes. “I promised to always be your friend, you promised the same, Tessa. Maybe we shouldn’t be hanging out in your hot tub for a while but both of us are going to be okay. I’ll never do anything like that to you again.” “Can’t blame it on the hot tub,” she said softly remembering when he had said that to her, and they both smiled. “You want me to walk you in?” Lucas didn’t want to let go, but he had no other choice. “No, I can handle it. Thanks for the ride,” she went to open the door. “Tessa wait,” Lucas grabbed her hand, “I’m… well I just… Tessa if you like Ben, slow down okay?” Tessa smiled, “I’ll take that into consideration. How’s Sadi?” Lucas forced a smile, “I think she’s trying, I hope she is for our baby anyways,” he paused, “It doesn’t matter just take care of yourself okay? I want you to be happy Tessa, always.”
CHAPTER FIVE His phone chimed - Lucas I think my water broke and I’m scared… Sadi He read it, and Tessa looked down and saw it too. “Lucas you need to go.” He sat frozen. “Lucas now!” She grabbed his phone and texted Sadi back. - Call an ambulance and go to the hospital I’ll meet you there. You’re going to be fine… L She dialed Tommy’s number. “Tommy you need to meet Lucas at the hospital, Sadi’s water broke. OK, see you in twenty minutes,” she looked at him and was pale. She reached over him and unlocked the doors. She got out and opened his. “Come on inside,” he followed her in and ran to the bathroom. Tessa woke Alex. “I need to drive Lucas’s car to the hospital. You need to bring me home, Sadi’s water just broke.” Alex jumped up and threw on some clothes. Tessa went down and grabbed a new toothbrush out of the cabinet and handed it to him, he had thrown up. “Okay let’s go.” He looked so frightened and she was so scared for him. She took his hand and walked him to the SUV. She opened the passenger side door, “Get in, Lucas.” “You okay to drive?” “Yep, it’s been what six hours Lucas.” Tessa shut his door. “Tessa if her water broke, that means she is going to have the baby... really soon, right?” Lucas asked, and his voice cracked. Tessa had read a lot on this and knew it would be within twenty- four hours. She also knew it was way too early. “Lucas let’s just see when we get there. Would you please call your Mom?” *** They pulled into the parking lot, and Tommy was there waiting. She jumped out and looked at Tommy. “This isn’t good. Please stay with him.” Lucas walked over, hugged Tessa, and kissed her head, “Thank you.” “Skirt off, Links. Sadi needs you to be strong. Your baby needs you to be strong,” her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears. Alex got out and threw the keys to Tessa. “I’m going to stay here.” She hugged him. “Thank you, I love you Alex.” Tessa got in the Jeep and left. She pulled over and grabbed her phone and went through it until she found Audrianna’s number. She called her and told her what was going on. Audri thanked her and rolled over to wake Landon, “Lucas needs you. Sadi’s water broke.” “Already?” Landon asked rubbing his eyes. “That’s not good.” He got up and jumped in the shower.
Audrianna had called the airport, there was a flight into Ithaca leaving in an hour. Landon would be there in two hours and she planned to drive up when the girls were in school. *** Lucas walked into the room, and Sadi was lying in a hospital bed. Her Mom was there holding her hand. “Lucas,” Sadi cried. Lucas walked over to her and held her hand, “I’m here.” The doctor walked in and did an ultrasound. The placenta had torn away, and the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Sadi would have to have surgery. If not, she could deliver the baby and go through that pain without the reward in the end. The three of them cried, and Lucas climbed in the bed with Sadi and held her until the OR was ready. The nurse came in and gave her a sedative. She fell asleep crying and saying “I’m sorry.” Lucas walked out and looked at Tommy and Alex. “The baby isn’t alive; it probably has been gone for a while. They have to operate, she’s asleep now,” he walked past them and into the bathroom. Tommy and Alex looked at each other and waited for Lucas. Lucas came out and walked past them and back into the room and watched Sadi sleep. The OR team walked in to take Sadi up. He rode the elevator up with her and sat with her mother in the waiting room. Lucas’s Mom joined them and held his hand. His phone chimed - Lucas, I’ll be there in an hour. I love you… Dad. - there is nothing you can do Dad, don’t worry about it... Lucas - I can be there for you… Dad Alex walked outside and called Tessa. She cried when he told her the news. He told her he would call her soon and hung up. Tommy was texting Jade when he walked back in. He looked up at Alex, “I can’t imagine what a mess he is going to be, Alex.” “We can get him through this.” The surgery was over; they wheeled Sadi into a room. Lucas sat holding her hand until she woke up. She looked at him and cried; he hugged her and told her everything was going to be alright. “I deserved this, this is my fault, and you can leave now,” Sadi cried. Landon walked into the room, and Lucas stood up and hugged him. Lucas cried. “I’m sorry, Sadi,” Landon said looking over Lucas’s shoulder. “No, Landon. I am.” The nurse walked in and gave her more medication, and she fell asleep. Lucas called her counselor’s office and left a message. He didn’t leave the hospital. He waited until she was discharged and asked her mother if he could drive her home. He helped her in the SUV, and they drove quietly. “Sadi, are you going to be alright?” “No, I’m not!” she cried. Lucas held her hand, “Yes, you are.” “How can you say that to me, after all, that I have done to you? After I just lost our baby?” she said through tears, “I’m a horrible person Lucas, I deserved this.” “I forgive you, now it’s time you forgive yourself,” he said. “You’re going to be fine.” “Well, thank you, I guess,” she said sarcastically.
They pulled into her driveway, and he turned off the vehicle and looked at her. “Sadi we have been horrible for each other,” he laughed and looked at her. “We have our whole lives ahead of us. This sucks, it’s certainly not what I planned for over the past few months. But we should consider it a do- over. Make something good out of a horrible situation.” She cried, “I don’t think I can.” “Okay, so if there is a heaven, our child is in it and watching us now. What would you want him to see?” Her eyes changed — no longer sad, but angry, “That’s Tessa talking!” “Well, if that’s all I got from her I’m happy, ‘cause that’s what I’m going to focus on and I hope you can as well,” he rubbed her hand. Sadi said, “I’ll try.” “By the way, you have an appointment this afternoon with your therapist.” She rolled her eyes as she got out of the SUV, “Fine.” “If you need anything before then call me. I’ll take you today. See you at four.” Sadi walked in towards the house, and her mother held the door open for her as she walked in. *** Lucas went home and walked in the house. He opened the fridge and saw several casseroles. “Alex dropped all that off. Looks like Tessa’s been cooking again,” Kate smiled softly. “I’m not hungry. I’m going to shower and get some sleep. Could you make sure I’m up by three? I’m taking Sadi to an appointment.” “Lucas I know better than anyone how you feel the need to take care of people. I love that about you. But don’t get lost in this awful situation, forgive Lucas but never forget,” she hugged him. Lucas went to his room, on his dresser there was a vase with yellow roses mixed with white daisies. He picked up the note card and opened it. Lucas, I am so truly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you. If you need a friend, I am here. YFA, Tessa
Lucas shook his head and walked into the bathroom. He grabbed his bowl from under the sink and hit it once. I don’t need this shit he thought and put it back, not now anyway. Lucas showered and brushed his teeth and toweled off his hair. He put on a pair of shorts and laid down and fell asleep. *** Tessa had not heard from Lucas but knew what was going on. Alex was checking in on him. Ben had texted her on Saturday, and he would be there late Friday night. He and his dad were bringing up the snowmobiles. Tessa was an emotional wreck but knew that he and his very hot busy self would distract her. Take her mind off the place it was wandering, a place she knew she should not return to, regardless of what she knew she wanted down deep. Again she felt like she helped Lucas get through a horrible time. She told herself over and over that they would have been great friends. School and the play kept her occupied. Lucas hadn’t been to school, and Tommy told Jade about the two B’s. Jade and Tessa talked about it, but Jade promised Tommy she wouldn’t tell Tessa the truth about what had happened and that Lucas had done it to push her away. Lucas came to school on Wednesday and Tessa ate in the auditorium with her cast friends. The play
was in three weeks, right before spring break, and they needed to practice anyway. Lucas passed her in the hall and looked at her and then looked down. He looked hollow, and her heart broke for him. Thursday Sadi came back, and she looked as bad as he did. Tessa frequently saw them talking in the hall. There was no anger or jealousy; she knew what loss felt and looked like. Not many people at school knew that Sadi had been pregnant. There once close- knit group of friends would never have broken that trust. Tessa was in the locker room, when Sadi walked in. Tessa stood to leave. “Farm girl!” Tessa looked at her. “You know he cares about me, right?” Tessa shook her head and continued to walk towards the door. “I’m talking to you!” Tessa kept walking out of the locker room and Lucas was standing there, he looked at her, and she shook her head and smiled. “Everything okay?” he asked quietly. “Its fine,” Tessa walked by him. She felt sick. She couldn’t say anything to Sadi because it would be wrong. She couldn’t tell him to walk away knowing he was going to get dragged into crazy Sadi nonsense again because she knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. She felt sorry for him. The next day Tessa went to the bathroom and Sadi was in there crying, she handed her a tissue and walked out and went to the locker room. When she came out of the stall, Sadi was standing there. “Here’s your fucking tissue, I don’t want it, farm girl!” Tessa tried to walk around her, and she stood in her way. “Sadi would you please move?” “No, I will not move,” she screamed at her. Tessa finally was able to get past her. “Don’t push me, farm girl,” she screamed and ran out of the locker room and into Lucas’s arms. “She told me I should move and pushed me.” Tessa walked out, and Lucas gave her a dirty look. “I wouldn’t have expected that from you!” Tessa rolled her eyes and walked past him. “And you think she is SO perfect,” Sadi cried. Her phone chimed, and it was him - What the fuck are you doing? Don’t you know what she has been through?... L Tessa was getting the same signature as Sadi did. - Lucas believe what you have to, I hope you’re okay… YFA Tessa - My friend would not have done that, best of luck Tessa… L She went to the nurse and told her she had a headache and asked to lie down. She quietly shed a few tears and fell asleep. Tessa went to Alex’s game Friday night; she hadn’t been to one in a while. She sat with Cassidy on one side and Phoebe on the other, Jade sat next to Phoebe. The game was good, pretty physical. Lucas was sitting because he had gotten a few too many fouls. Tessa tried not to look at him, but she could feel his eyes piercing through her. She looked up, and he gave her a dirty look. She looked away. When the game was over, she waited with the girls for Alex and Tommy. Lucas walked by and grabbed her arm and walked to the other end of the hall.
“I don’t know if you’re fucking high at school or just being a bitch, but that best not happen again!” Her heart was beating heavy against her chest, it hurt that he believed the shit Sadi was pulling. She finally pulled her arm away and rubbed it, he had held it pretty tight, “Lucas I know you’re upset but…” “But nothing Tessa cut the shit!” “If you grab me like that again,” she said looking at the red marks still on her arm, “I’ll....” “Will what Tessa? Spit in my face, slap me, or punch me? We’ve been through all of that and you know what? I should have seen it then; you’re no fucking better than the rest of them so how about you step down from that high horse of yours and grow up! The only difference was you thought you were better, Miss fucking Perfect. I never got why you didn’t have boys knocking down your door, now I do!” Her eyes widened as she looked at the floor. “What Tessa, nothing to say?” “Lucas whatever gets you through this, I never said I was perfect. But she is delusional, and you are so mean,” Tessa walked away fighting back tears. He walked past the group that stood there watching them and left. “Cassidy, can we go?” “Tessa what just happened?” Alex asked. She threw him a half smile, “Nothing but one of you guys might want to tell him to get some help.” She and Cassidy got in the car and left. Tessa opened Cassidy’s glove box and took out her cute little friend and took a long drag, “Hot tub?” “Hell yes,” Cassidy laughed *** They changed and ran out and jumped in. They sang some songs from the play and laughed. A truck pulled in, she had hoped Alex had gone to hang out with Lucas but apparently not. A few minutes later someone had their hands covering her eyes. Cassidy laughed. “Guess who?” “I know who I want it to be,” Tessa laughed. “And who is that?” “Ben, get your fine butt in here,” she laughed. He jumped in and sat next to her and grabbed her hand. “I thought you would be here in the morning.” “Sorry, I couldn’t wait, our game was canceled, something about the power being out at the home teams school,” he grinned at her. “Tessa can I kiss you?” “You better.” Cassidy cleared her throat, and they stopped kissing and laughed. Ben was a ball of energy all the time; he was happy and just so much fun to be around. After the week she had, she was glad he had come. Actually excited that he was there. More headlights pulled in, as they sat and stared at each other. A few minutes past and, Alex, Phoebe, Jade, Tommy, and Lucas came out. “I think you better sit on my lap,” he pulled her closer, “Might not be enough room if you don’t.” “It’s a ten person tub I think we can all fit,” she slid off his lap, “Besides I want to be able to look at you.” “You could always sit the other way,” Ben winked. Ben stood up, “Hey Alex” he shook his hand, “Hello Phoebe, Jade, Tommy, and Lucas.” “When did you get in? I thought you’d be here tomorrow morning?” Alex asked as he sat down. “Our game got canceled, how’d you guys do?” “We won by four, would have been more if there weren’t so many foul shots. I think Lucas thought it
was football,” Alex said, and they all laughed. “It’s all about control man,” Ben laughed, “That’s why I love the game. You get that ball in your hands, and you make lots of fancy well- practiced moves and then it’s hard and fast down the court and swish it’s in,” he winked at Tessa. “You talking about Basketball or fucking, Ben?” Lucas glared at him. “Well, Lucas I was talking about basketball, but now that you mention it…” Ben laughed. Tessa looked at Lucas and knew he was messed up, probably high. She glared at him. He rolled his eyes slightly and turned away. Tessa stood up and leaned over, turning up the radio, she turned to sit, and Ben grinned at her, “Nice,” she smiled and sat down; he put his arm around her. She leaned into him and closed her eyes. “I’m going to make some snacks.” “You got the munchies Tessa?” Lucas snapped. “Do you?” Tessa laughed. Tessa went inside, and Ben came in to help her. “You want me to kick his ass?” he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her neck. “No, he’s just going through some stuff,” Tessa as they all walked through the door. “Tessa you want to tell him the stuff I’m going through?” Lucas snapped. “How about we tell Ben here what you’re actually like?” “First of all Lucas I didn’t tell him and second whatever you need to say to him go ahead,” she laughed. “I don’t need to know shit, Tess. He’s just sorry he fucked up, you made the right choice,” Ben kissed her head. “She did make the right choice, then he died less than two weeks ago, you’re fucking third bitch!” “How about you and I go outside Daddy and see who walks back in here FIRST!” Ben walked towards him. Lucas lunged at him and grabbed his throat. Ben punched Lucas in the face, and Tommy and Alex grabbed them and tore them apart. Tessa started crying, “Phoebe — get Lucas’s keys he’s high.” She ran upstairs and changed into sweats and a hoodie. The timer on the oven was going off and she ran downstairs, and they were all sitting at the table glaring at each other. She took the pizzas out and set them on the counter. “Anything to say yet, Tessa?” Lucas snapped. “Lucas that’s enough” Phoebe gave him a dirty look. “Ben, my very dear friend the man who I truly thought I would be with someday… forever…died. Ben, Toby died.” Tessa felt tears well in her eyes. She shook her head trying to clear her mind, “I’ve been pretty messed up since. But I’m happy when I’m with you if that’s too much I get it,” Tessa knelt in front of him looking into his eyes as she talked. She cleared her throat, “Lucas is normally not such a fucking asshole,” she paused “But a week ago his girlfriend or ex or whatever lost their baby. He’s a mess, please excuse him.” Ben lifted her up and hugged her. He looked at Lucas, “Sorry man, I didn’t know.” “Well, Tessa do go on, full disclosure for Ben. Tell him the shit you pulled on Sadi in the locker room,” Lucas sneered. Tessa shook her head. “Sure,” she looked at Ben and told him what had happened the day before, the part about the tissue and what Lucas had heard in the locker room and after the game. “And if Lucas wasn’t hurting, he may be able to remember who I am and who she is. However, if
that’s what he needs to think I’m good with that. I know what a friend is, I know who I am,” she turned and looked at Lucas, “High horse Lucas, fuck you,” she said and started to cry. “If you ever touch her again, I’ll break your fucking arm quarterback,” Ben stood up, and he and Tessa walked in the other room and sat on the couch. “You’ll get through all that stuff, Tessa Ross. I will help you,” he wiped her tears. Lucas sat in the kitchen and looked at the floor. “I’m going to leave. I’m sorry Alex.” “Phoebe said your high, you’re staying,” Alex walked away. Lucas knew better than to fight with Alex. He sat back, and Jade handed him a piece of pizza. “Eat this, Lucas,” she patted his head. Jade brought pizza into Tessa and Ben, “Tessa, you need to start talking to me again, you can’t do this alone.” Tessa hugged her. “Jade, just help Tommy with him please,” Tessa whispered in her ear. They all walked in, and Lucas sat in the chair. They turned on a horror flick, Tessa hated scary movies. “Hey Tessa.” “Oh God Cassidy, come here let’s talk,” she walked out and sat at the table. Lucas could hear everything they were saying. “Cassidy, I try really hard to keep all this messy stuff out of the public eye. It’s a mess and actually pretty embarrassing. I really hope you can keep this between us. I don’t want anyone looking at me, or Lucas, or even Sadi any differently.” “Tessa, I won’t say anything, I promise. If you want to talk ever, I’m here.” “Thanks for the offer but Cass that’s what I adore about our friendship, it's fun.” “Well okay… but Tessa, if you need to don’t hold back.” “Don’t look at me that way Chick — no pity,” she laughed. “Got it Tessa.” Cassidy left, and Lucas came out to the kitchen. “Hey Tessa.” “Well, hello there Lucas,” she didn’t looking at him. “I’m sorry.” “Oh, Lucas really it’s no big deal,” she started to walk away, he stopped her. “No, Tessa — I’m really sorry.” She looked up at him “Okay. Just be better.” He watched her walk inside, and he went out the side door. He sat on the deck contemplating what he was going to do about Sadi. He thought she was changing. He thought she had gotten better. He was honest with her about having no romantic interest, and she accepted it, or so he thought. Everyone had crashed for the night, and Tessa walked outside to take Chewy to the bathroom. She threw the ball for him a few times. “That's a good boy, Chewy,” she pet him. She threw the ball again, and he took it to the deck. “Chewy — get your fuzzy butt over here,” she walked after him as she turned the corner to the house she saw Chewy licking Lucas’s face. “Sorry, come on Chewy,” he sat and barked at her, “Really, dog?” “Hello,” Lucas looked up. “Hello, how long have you been out here, aren’t you cold?” “No Mom… I’m good,” Lucas smiled. “Okay then, come on Chewy you stubborn ass.” “Will you sit with me, please?”
“Nope,” she said, “Could you get Chewy in the house, please?” “Nope,” he looked her up and down. “Okay, Lucas what can I do for you?” “Stop trying to take care of me for one. I can handle it.” “Done. Is that it?” “Don’t take any shit from her Tessa, if she is — delusional it needs to be dealt with. I’ve told her a million times that she and I could try to be friends but nothing more ever again. I’ve gone to counseling with her for months and even taken her to see an individual therapist weekly. I thought I was, doing the right thing and now this? I have to figure it out, but this is fucked up.” “Like bunny boiling f’ed up?” He laughed, she laughed too. “I think I’m going to go to counseling with her for a couple more weeks and bring this up. What do you think?” “I’m not your mother, remember?” she shot at him. “Sorry Tessa.” “It must be exhausting,” she said. “What’s that?” Lucas asked. “Always having to say you’re sorry to me because I’m so darn perfect,” she laughed. He looked at her. “You are,” slipped out quietly. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Tessa I need to tell you something,” his eyes blazing as he looked her all over. “Oh no, you don’t, buddy,” Tessa stood up. He grabbed her and pulled her into him. He kissed her. “Please Lucas, don’t do this again I can’t…” He kissed her harder not wanting her to say what he knew she would. She felt like she was on fire from just one kiss. She opened her mouth and received his tongue and met him with hers. He groaned and pulled her on his lap. She sat on him and kissed him deeply. They finally came up for air, and he saw her tears. He kissed them away as she tried to catch her breath. He pulled her into his chest, holding her as she tried to catch his. She finally sat up and looked at him, “Lucas, please don’t do this to me again. I want to be your friend because that is way easier than all this.” He kissed her again, and she whimpered. Her hands ended up in his hair and his on her ass. “Lucas, you’re wasted,” she said pulling away. He stood up and reached under her shirt. Her breath hitched as he rubbed her aching nipple between his two fingers. “And you’re going to be fucking delicious,” he kissed her again. Lucas brought her to the barn and threw his shirt over his head as he changed hands and continued to kiss her. He threw his shirt down and laid her on the bed of hay. His hands never left her breast and the pleasure was winning the battle with her brain. He kissed down her belly and started to pull down her pants. “Lucas stop, I can’t do this, please.” Ben walked in and yelled, “She said stop quarterback! Now back the fuck off before I kick your ass all over the place.” Ben pulled her up, “You okay?” “Yes. I’m sorry Ben,” she looked at Lucas, “It’s not all his fault.” “Well, it’s all me now, let’s go,” he quickly walked her to the house. “Go brush your teeth Tess. Take a shower do whatever you need to do, I’ll be right here.” “Ben,” she whispered quietly, “I’m sorry.” “It’s not your fault,” his eyes normally sparkling were filled with rage.
“No, it was, I was very much in the moment, I didn’t expect to…” Tessa stopped not wanting to make it worse. “Don’t hate him. Please — he has had enough of that for twenty lifetimes. Please Ben,” she pleaded, “He’s my friend.” “Fine Tessa, just,” Ben breathed. “Do you want to be with him?” Every time he touches me, every time I see him she thought. “I want to be his friend, Ben.” Because everything else hurts so much. “Are you going to let him touch you again?” She shook her head no. “Okay then Tess, you need to remember I don’t share and you shouldn’t either. I get what you have gone through, even what he has been through and I’m still here. It won’t happen again, do you understand?” She shook her head yes and looked at him. His eyes softened a little. “Good, now go.” *** Ben walked out to the barn and Lucas was standing there and glared at him. “She gives a shit about you Lucas, but you need to leave her the hell alone!” “No, she doesn’t just give a shit, she loves me Ben. Do you get that?” “She’ll get over it,” Ben said raising his eyebrow. “If you let her. Doesn’t she deserve that man?” Lucas looked at him and shook his head. “You better get inside. John will be home soon. You and I will behave for her, correct?” “I will do anything for her, I already have.” Ben understood there were things he didn’t know. But he really didn’t care right now. He was pissed and trying to do what she had asked. “Let’s get inside.” Tessa came out of the bathroom and looked at Ben. “Your friend and I chatted, he’s upstairs in bed.” “Ben I’m sorry.” “I’m over it.” He pulled her down on the couch and laid her head on his lap. “Can we sleep down here?” he asked. “Sure, but my Dad might not like it,” she whispered. “When he gets home, I’ll take the recliner.” “Can I kiss you?” she asked, she felt awful about what he walked in on. “Did you brush your teeth?” She looked at him funny. “I don’t want to taste him in your mouth.” “Ben I didn’t go…” she started. “I didn’t think you did, his tongue is bad enough. You sure you haven’t had enough for the night?” his voice was clipped. That hurt, she thought. “Not of you,” she leaned over and kissed him. Ben kissed her back hard and with urgency. She wasn’t expecting that from him. He laid her down and kissed her as he held himself up with his arms. He kissed her neck and lips. He kissed her shoulder blade and ran his tongue across her collar bone. She struggled for breath. He sat back and lightly bit the inner arch of her foot and moved up all the way to her knees, he kissed behind them and lightly bit down with his teeth. Oh, wow she closed her eyes. Her body was responding, and she took in a quick breath. He sat back and moved over to the next foot moved up her left leg. He sat up and looked at her. “You are so hot, Tess,” Ben laid on her, and she could feel his erection against her belly. He kissed her lips and thrust his tongue in her mouth while his hands lightly tickled her inner thigh; she stopped kissing him and gasped. He stopped and looked at her. “That what you like Tess?” She looked at him like she was in shock. “Your body responds to touch, and very nicely might I add,” Ben smiled and kissed her softer. “It’s not who’s doing it, do you understand that? If you confuse love with pleasure, you’re selling yourself short. I can do all that shit he did and
more. Trust me… you won’t be disappointed. I also promise that I won’t fuck with your heart or head, Tess. I want to show you the other part too, but I think we should slow down until you are ready to explode with me,” his smile was so seductive she reached up and pulled his head back to hers. She kissed him again. He smiled as he sat up. “Ben, please.” She knew this is how it started with Lucas and she believed that Ben could take the hurt away. “Not without me, and you’re not ready for that yet. I promise you though, any mediocre little ones you’ve had will pale in comparison to what I’m going to do to you. We’re going to have booty camp every time I see you until then Tessa got it?” She smiled and shook her head yes. “Good, move forward, I want to lay behind you.” Tessa fell asleep to Ben lightly rubbing her back.
CHAPTER SIX In the morning, Lucas was gone when Tessa got up. She texted him - Good morning Lucas, you’re missing breakfast. I hope you’re okay…YFA Tessa - Sorry had things to do; I’m fine if I offended you last night I apologize. - Be good Tessa… YFA… LL - Don’t, you weren’t alone. Just no more damn hot tub…YFA… Tessa - Can’t blame the hot tub…YFA…LL Ben bounded down the stairs. “Hello Tess, did you make me breakfast?” he took her face in his hands and kissed her. He rubbed her back and down to her butt. “Wow, feisty are we?” Tessa smiled. Ben said and smacked her butt, “Do you think you can keep up?” “Speaking of, I haven’t gone running in the park in a while. There is no snow on the ground downtown, you up for it?” “I am.” She put the breakfast casserole in the oven and set the timer. “Let’s go then,” she smiled. They went to the park and ran the stairs; he did the fifth time backward. They ran around, and they talked the whole time about music, family, and the schools he was looking at. He asked her questions about what she wanted to do after school. She was slowing down, and he laughed and bent down, “Jump on, Tess.” “I’m fine,” she laughed. “Nope — I want to get there, and I want you on me, so jump on girl.” He took the road back to the school and jogged the whole way. “What are we going to do now?” “Take a shower,” she smiled “Nice,” Ben laughed. “You are so much fun Ben, does it ever stop?” she asked thinking out loud. “Do you want it to?” “No, I just wonder how you are when you’re relaxed,” Tessa giggled. “Relaxed? I was real relaxed last night.” She laughed. They walked into the house, she grabbed two glasses of water and handed him one. She drank hers and took the casserole out. “I’m going to shower while this cools.” “Where is your dad?” “I really don’t know why?” “Shower sounds good.” She kissed him “Alright let’s go.”
She walked in the bathroom and grabbed some towels. She turned around, and he took his shirt off. “As tempting as all that is,” she pointed to him, “There’s a shower in my Dad's room, you should go use it.” He laughed as she pushed him out the door and locked it. She took a long shower and shaved her legs. She was having a great time with him but really wanted to know how Lucas was. How could she feel that way when she was with Ben? She liked him a lot, but she didn’t want to hurt him or Lucas. She let Lucas go, and she was going to make herself feel the same way for Ben. She knew it was going to be hard and she realized at that moment why, because he doesn’t need me in order to be alright. She got out and walked upstairs in her robe. She walked in her room and put on an under armor shirt, and a cardigan sweater and leggings. They were going riding later, so she might as well prepare for it now. She walked out and went downstairs, he was in faded jeans and a thermal shirt that fit him faultlessly. He was putting food on a plate for both of them and had already poured milk. “Sit by me?” he pulled out a chair for her. “Do you have any questions for me about yesterday, about Toby?” “Do you want to talk about it?” Ben looked at her and sat back. “Well, I just figured you might have questions.” “Tess if it’s going to upset you, then I don’t need to know. You told me last night that you loved him, and he died. Two weeks ago today, right?” “Yep. Don’t you want to know how I could be all over you so soon?” “Sure, tell me.” Tessa looked at Ben and then looked down, “Well, I don’t know either.” “Ok, so let me tell you what I think. I think you were lonely. I think you needed someone to pull you out of a funk. I’m pretty sure it was a fluke that I was playing up in Syracuse that night. I think we’re attracted to each other, and it’s comfortable because we’ve known each other for a while, even if you didn’t remember me at first,” Ben smiled and took her hand. “I also think that you are wildly curious about the ways your body has responded to things lately. I think all of those feelings combined are completely confusing to you, and that’s why I promise you Tessa Ross, I will not push you until you are ready. Does that sound about right?” She just stared at him. He was a good guy. She was playing with him. She looked guilty and sad all at once. “Tessa?” “Well, I guess...I just don’t know why that’s alright with you?” Tessa looked down she couldn’t bear to look at him. “I’m in no hurry. I have but one expectation. I don’t share, give me your focus okay?” he grabbed her hands. “I’ll give you mine. If it ends then I don’t want resentments, I want us to stay friends.” “How exactly does that work, the friends afterward?” Tessa asked. “I mean, how you end something on a good note?” “You don’t share Tessa, that’s when you hurt each other. And I don’t go back, when it ends it ends. I don’t believe in one person destined to be with me, like fate. I believe you find someone you enjoy and you give each other respect. If you decide it's together forever, and you commit to working at it, it’ll all work out,” he smiled at her. “Okay… so why do I still miss him, both of them when I am sitting here with you? I mean you are absolutely amazing. I’m sorry… God — I want to be honest with you Ben. I’m sorry.” “Hey girl, are we married or are we having fun? I mean we aren’t exclusive right?” “Well, what do you mean by you don’t share?”
“I don’t know how to explain it, Tess. We just aren’t there yet. If you want to date other people, we can do that I guess.” “No!” “Alright then. Our timing kind of sucks, it’s been hard for you, and I’m sorry, Tess I really am. Maybe I’m a dick for even trying this now. I don’t know,” he said. “I don't normally sway from my rules,” he laughed. “But when you’re really ready I think we’ll both know.” “This is just not fair, to you, to me,” she started tearing up. “Oh no, you don’t” he bent down and lifted her shirt and looked up at her and smiled, her eyes widened, and he blew on her belly. “No sad Tess” she smiled at him, “Much better.” He hugged her. “You are a true gift Ben.” “Let’s eat; we have a very busy day ahead of us,” Ben fed her and kissed her between bites. When they finished, Ben helped her do the dishes, “Let’s go see if the Dads are out there.” *** They rode all afternoon, Tessa was always in the back, and Ben was in the front being a hot shot. He would turn around and do circles around her. They stopped for lunch at a diner in town. They talked like best friends and he focused completely on her and making her smile. At around seven, they stopped at the farm and changed their socks and gloves. Tessa looked tired, “You’re riding with me.” “Whatever, maniac,” Tessa laughed. “What if I agree to slow it down?” “Well, then I might consider it,” Tessa smiled back. “Okay then — let’s go,” Ben said. “You guys ready?” They laughed, “We’re done for the night.” “You don’t mind if Tess and I go out do you?” “No, just slow it down so she can keep up,” John warned him. “I will, she’s going to ride with me,” John looked nervous, “I promise she’ll be safe with me.” “Tessa if he gets crazy, you drive.” “I will Dad.” He started out slow and frequently asked if she was ok. Each time she said yes he went a little faster. They pulled into the Spot, and he took her helmet off for her. Tessa looked at the clock it was nine o’clock, two hours since they stopped at her house and she couldn’t believe how quickly time was going. They walked in, and Tessa’s aunt brought out menus. “You guys hungry?” Josie asked. “I’m fine,” Tessa said. “Yes we are, can we sit out by the band?” Ben ordered Chicken and biscuits, they would share. The band sang country music, and he chuckled. “You like this?” “I do,” she laughed. “Alright then cowgirl,” he grabbed her hand, “let’s take these clothes off and dance.” He unzipped her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair, he unzipped her bibs, and they got stuck. He laughed. He worked at it for a few minutes and finally got them. She took them off and hung them on the back. Ben already had his off. Note to self: buy new bibs. They danced, he spun her around and dipped her and they laughed the whole time. A slow song was next, and Ben grinned and pulled her close. Ben kissed her. It’s your love by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw played, they sang to each other and giggled. Dinner was at their table, and Ben pulled the chair out for her. He pulled his tightly against hers, and
she watched him eat, he insisted she eat some. They talked and laughed and danced one more time. “We ready to head back?” Ben whispered. She shook her head yes. She was putting her bibs on when she saw Lucas walk by, quickly look at her, and then look away. How could she have forgotten he was working tonight? Ben looked at her face as he held her jacket up. “What’s wrong, Tess?” “I forgot it was Lucas’s night to work here, he must think I am such a bitch.” “Well then he doesn’t know you as well as you think he does.” He threw money and the bill on the bar, “Let’s bounce girl.” They walked outside; he put her helmet on and then his. He started the sled and yelled “Hang on tight.” She held him tightly and he slowed down, she loosened her grip, and he went faster. He came to a stop and lifted his shield. “You alright?” She shook her head yes. “Catch on Tess, you loosen your grip and I’m going to fly, hang on tight and we’ll both feel much better,” Ben winked at her, and she laughed. They got home, and she went to the bathroom. She came out, and he was on the couch. “Sit Tess. So you feel bad when you feel like you’ve disappointed someone right?” she looked at him confused. “Ok, I’ll slow it down, you felt guilty about having a good time tonight as soon as you saw him. That sucks Tess, is his happiness more important than yours and if so why do you think that little of yourself?” “I don’t know how to answer that Ben.” “Why is it your responsibility to make him ok? Do you think for the rest of your life you can be that person for him and still be you Tess? What happens when you get married and have kids, and you’ve got to take care of his needs instead of your own? Who is going to take care of you so that you can be the best you can for your kids? You don’t have to answer… just think about it,” He pulled her between his legs and hugged her. He gently pushed her forward and rubbed her back. She took a deep breath and relaxed. He finished rubbing every inch of her back, not missing a single spot and pulled her into him. She turned her head and looked up at him. She kissed him and turned around and sat on his lap. He opened his mouth to her, and they kissed softly, gently. He lightly rubbed her belly, and she put her hand on his chest and lowered it to his waist and rubbed her pinky just under his waistband. He breathed deeply and took her hands and put them above her head as he moved forward so that she lay on the couch hands high above her head. Ben took his other hand and lightly and slowly let his fingertips move across her breast, and they immediately responded. She gasped, his fingers floated lightly across her belly and then just under her waistband, her hips moved and he put his hand lower, and she moaned and her breath became deeper. He lifted her up, so she sat on his lap again; she moved her hips slowly into him. He went under her shirt again, and her breaths became shallow. Oh wow, she thought. He rubbed her back and her backside. She sat up and looked at him. She kissed his neck and down to his chest and she started to unbutton him, and he pulled her up. “Not yet, Tess.” “I want to Ben, please?” “I’m going to insist that happens after we, well you know,” Ben smiled. “Why?” “As nice as that’s going to be, I want to wait till after, ok?” Ben said. “How are you feeling?” She blushed and put her head on his shoulder. “That’s what I thought.” In the morning, Tessa woke up, and Ben was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and listening to music. She went in the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She ran up and grabbed him. He laughed, “Good morning, Tess.”
He turned around, and she kissed him, he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her back, he picked her up and sat her on the counter and lifted her shirt. “Good morning girls,” he whispered. She laughed. They heard someone coming down the stairs. She jumped down off the counter and grabbed plates from the cupboard. Alex walked in and said, “Good morning.” “Good morning,” they said at the same time and laughed. Alex shook his head and grabbed a cup out of the cupboard. Their fathers came out, and they all sat and ate breakfast. “We’re going to leave in about an hour Ben, okay?” Frank asked his son. Tessa looked at Ben as if she was in shock; he smiled at her. “Sure thing Dad.” They cleaned up the table, and she was quiet. “I don’t think I want you to leave,” she said quietly. “I have to Tess,” he laughed. “Ok, but I just want you to know I don’t want you to,” she looked down. He grabbed her and hugged her, “Good, I’ll see you on Saturday remember?” “Okay and then when will I see you again?” “I’m sure it won’t be long,” he kissed her. She helped him load the snowmobiles and watched him as he strapped them on his father’s trailer. He was so damn cute and funny and just — easy. It wasn’t work being with him, she wished she could keep him here with her forever because she knew when he was gone she would miss Lucas. When Ben was done, he jumped down and grabbed her. “Tessa Ross, I’m going to miss looking at you,” his hand went down her back and settled on the small of her back. Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him; he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her harder. He pulled his head away and kissed her nose. “I’m going to miss that,” she laughed. Her father cleared his throat, and they looked. Their fathers were both standing there watching them and shaking their heads disapprovingly. “Oh… to be young again,” Frank laughed. She stood and watched him pull away and waved. “Tessa, what’s going on with you and Ben?” “I don’t know Daddy… but I like him. I like him a lot,” she smiled. “I’m pretty sure he feels the same way, he’s a good kid Tessa, from a very good family,” John said, “Keep that in mind.”
CHAPTER SEVEN Tessa was staying home from church today. She had a lot of homework and a week and four days until the play. She had a ton of laundry and cleaning to do since she blew off everything all weekend. She was busy getting everything done, and her phone chimed, it was him. - Thanks for the show last night… LL - Lucas I’m sorry. I forgot you were working… Tessa - You sure about that? Kind of sucks Tessa… I want to see you… LL - Is everything ok?... Tessa - Nope… LL - Okay then come over everyone’s at church… Tessa Tessa jumped in the shower and got dressed, she brought out laundry and was folding it when he walked in. “Come sit down,” she moved the laundry to give him a spot on the couch. “Tessa, do you like Ben?” “Yes.” “Do you love him?” “I think maybe I could someday,” she admitted. Lucas sat back and shook his head, “Not what I wanted to hear.” “We said we were going to be friends Lucas.” “And Friday night we showed each other differently,” he looked at her with angry eyes. Her eyes filled up, “I don’t know what you expect from me Lucas? I don’t know anything anymore except it’s so hard with you. It hurts, “she touched her heart. “I don’t want it to hurt all the time.” “I don’t want that for you either Tessa, I just don’t know what to do. I love you baby, and I don’t know what to do,” he grabbed her and held her. Her body stiffened at his touch. “Oh, I see,” Lucas started to get up. “No Lucas you don’t fucking see. You’re hurt because of what you are going through and while I feel awful about all of that, I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces of my life,” she started to cry. “I would love to think it would be any different a month from now, but it’s been almost seven months of hell Lucas. I am eighteen years old, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never wanted to be in one! And not because everyone thinks I’m a psycho bitch like you make me feel! I watch my family fall apart and you come here, and I act like someone I don’t even know. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I’ve never known pain before like this, ever. And I don’t want to!” Tears formed in his eyes as he listened to her, “What have I done?” “You fucking broke me — again!” She screamed and started to walk away. He grabbed her, “Tessa stop please, I’m so sorry,” He held her tightly against him. “You know what Lucas; I believe you don’t want to hurt me. But what happens when the next Sadi pops up? Or you decide you’re bored of me? “ “I don’t know what you want me to say Tessa, I didn’t ask for any of this shit to happen,” Lucas yelled at her and tears sprung to his eyes.
“You couldn’t be honest with me when your mom relapsed, or when fucking Sadi blew you. Oh, but remember my stupid pathetic ass took you back even then. You dismissed me when I asked if you had gone to the doctor with her, and then you FUCKED her when you said you loved me! She gave you a BLOW job, you FUCKED her,” Tessa began to sob. “And I haven’t even begun to tell you how New Years felt to me, or the way you treated me when she lost the baby. I’ve been through hell, and you expect me to keep being this… this… no I’m sorry, I won’t do that to myself!” “Fine, fine… this is just fucking perfect isn’t it? I guess you really loved me huh?” Lucas fought back tears as he grabbed his hair with both hands, “Fuck it… huh Tessa?” Tessa looked up at him fighting her need to hug him and take back everything she knew to be true, “Lucas, I’ll always love you. I’ll always wonder what could have been, but I need to take care of me. A week ago you were fine with that; you still have so much to deal with and so do I. We’re hurting each other. How could it possibly ever work when it’s been so hard?” “Things in life that come easy Tessa mean nothing, believe me,” he let go of her and he walked out of the room. She heard the door slam and she crumbled to the floor and sobbed. Monday Tessa walked into school and saw Lucas and looked down. She was in the locker room at lunch reading her English book and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich alone. “Well, look at farm girl with all of her friends,” Sadi smirked as she walked into the locker room. Tessa stood up and grabbed her bag and walked towards the door, Sadi grabbed her hair from behind. Lucas walked by and saw what was happening. “Sadi, let go of her now!!!” he yelled as he walked in and pulled her away. She had a handful of Tessa’s hair. Tessa turned around and slapped her across the face. “Get some fucking help, you crazy bitch,” Tessa screamed. “Tessa just go,” Lucas yelled. Tessa looked at him with disgust “I hate you,” she said as she walked away. “I know,” he called to her from behind. Tessa turned around and stormed back. “Sadi I’m calling the cops and filing a restraining order. I will not let your sick twisted ass fucking touch me again, I don’t give a fuck what you’ve gone through, and you have brought it all on yourself. And you LUCAS are falling right into her poison and enabling the crazy BITCH!” Tessa turned and walked away. “Stop her,” Sadi cried to Lucas. Lucas grabbed Tessa’s arm. “Don’t you touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again! You make me sick; you just stuck up for that bitch again! Go to hell Lucas. And this time I won’t be joining you!” she screamed, and her eyes filled with tears as she ran out the school doors and jumped in the Jeep and drove home. Maggie walked in the farmhouse an hour later; Tessa was in her room crying. “Tessa honey are you ok?” she said and hugged her. “The school called, and I was worried, are you alright?” “I just don’t feel well Mom,” she rested her head on her lap. “Okay, but you should have gone to the nurse honey.” She held her until she fell asleep. When she woke up, her Mom was still holding her. “What time is it?” “It’s about five,” Maggie said softly. Tessa jumped up “I have practice.”
“No honey you’re skipping tonight, I already talked to your drama coach, and he said it was fine, he just wants you to get better.” “I want to get better too, Mom,” Tessa yawned and fell back to sleep. *** The next morning Tessa was called to the office for the very first time in her life. She sat and waited outside the principal’s office. The door opened, and Lucas and Sadi walked out, he carried her bag and had his other arm wrapped around her. “I hope you’re happy, bitch,” Sadi yelled at Tessa. “Enough Sadi,” Lucas softly scolded her, and they walked out. The principal gave Tessa detention for leaving school without permission the day before. Tessa accepted her consequence and went back to class. She ate in the library and went to detention after school. She avoided everyone. She was not proud of how she had reacted the day before with Sadi, she was not proud of many of her actions lately. She felt herself sinking into darkness and desperately wanted to get out. She went to practice at five and straight home to bed after. Her phone chimed - Hey, hot stuff I can’t wait to see you on Saturday!… Ben - Me either Ben, I miss your face… Tessa - Miss yours too talk to you soon…. Ben She fell asleep and was woken by Alex. She jumped up, “There was an accident with four people, someone died Alex,” she cried, “and a baby boy Alex.” “Okay Tessa… it’s a dream you’ll be fine,” Alex hugged her. Thursday morning she went to school, it was the same as every day. She was tired and didn’t pay any attention to what went on around her. Her phone chimed. - No Lucas today… will you PLEASE eat lunch with us?!?!?!... Jade “So tell us about Ben!?” Phoebe asked as soon as Tessa sat down... “What would you like to know?” “Are you two together?” Jade seemed annoyed. “No Jade not officially, but I like him, he makes me smile.” “Wow, Tessa that’s three this year already… you think you might want to slow it down a bit?” Jade snide comment rubbed Tessa the wrong way. “Hey Jade, I’m still a virgin in case you wanted to know,” Tessa shot back at her. “Well, what else have you done Tessa? Everything but isn’t any less.” “Well, let’s see: I haven’t given or received oral, and no fingers have been inside me,” Tessa sat back crossing her arms across her chest. “Holy shit,” Tommy covered his face, “Are we really going to have this conversation?” “Sure, do you need more Jade?” Becca stood up her face was red, and she walked away. Tessa smirked and Phoebe laughed “So are you okay?” “No Jade not really, but I’ll get there.” After play practice, she went home and slept. She woke up and sent a text
- Ben, I can’t wait to see you… have been missing your face… Tessa - Two days Tessa, can I bring you home after and stay and play a bit?... Ben - I would love that, happy dance commencing now… Tessa - wish I could see that happy dance… Ben - two days, goodnight… Tessa Tessa texted Jade - are we okay?... Tessa - of course, I just feel like I suck as your friend right now and I guess I’m lashing out. I’m sorry… Jade - I’m glad you’re in love Jade. Tommy is amazing and loves you so much… Tessa - Oh, thank you, I have never been happier Tessa I can’t wait to be with him forever… Jade - I can honestly say I believe you two will be together for the rest of your lives… Tessa - Well, how about you? What’s Ben like?... Jade - He’s perfect, and I’m trying to be that for him too, he wants to go slow and I’m so happy he does…Tessa - Do you love him?... Jade - I know I could someday… Tessa - Good, lunch tomorrow?... Jade - We shall see, goodnight…. Tessa Friday went by fast. Lucas came to school in the middle of lunch, Tessa wondered where he had been but wouldn’t ask. He acted very uncomfortable, and Tessa was too. Lucas bounced his knee up and down and didn’t eat. She excused herself and left them. Tessa had one week before the play. Next week was going to be busy, and she welcomed it. After school, she went for a run in the park. It felt good, she needed to do this every day again, and she decided she would. On her run back to the school, Lucas drove by and looked the other way. Fine by me, asshole, she thought. Mad is good, yep really good. Cassidy and a few of the cast members decided they wanted to go up and watch Ben’s band. Tessa was excited; she would ride up with them and back to her house with Ben. Saturday morning she texted Jade, Phoebe, and Becca - I want to get a Mani- Pedi at eleven, and maybe lunch, anyone else want in?… Tessa - I am… Jade - Me too… Phoebe - Me three… Becca
- Excellent, I’ll pick you all up at 10:30…. Tessa They drove to Ithaca and walked into the salon. “What brought this on?” Jade asked smiling. “I’m going to meet Ben tonight; he’s playing in Syracuse again,” Tessa smiled. “That’s cool, you like him Tessa,” Phoebe said. “There’s nothing not to like, he’s hot, loves music, and plays sports. When I’m with him, it’s like I’m the only person on the planet. Ben has been in three relationships that all ended well and is willing to wait until all the demons are gone from my crazy head. His views on relationships are awesome, it’s two people that respect each other, and he doesn’t share. Just like it’s supposed to be. Honestly, if I don’t grab him up now, someone else will,” Tessa looked surprised she had said that, they all laughed. They went to lunch, and as their appetizers were delivered Lucas walked in with a girl. Tessa was shocked, and the girls all looked in the direction she was looking. Phoebe grabbed her hand under the table and whispered “Tessa, look away.” Tessa looked at her and felt like she couldn’t breathe. “I need to go to the bathroom now Phoebe, please.” Lucas saw them and noticed Phoebe was holding Tessa’s hand. He knew she was probably upset, but what the hell did she expect? She had Ben. He looked over at the table, and Jade was walking towards him. “Hey Lucas, what are you doing?” “Hi Jade, I’m getting lunch. What are you ladies doing?” he smiled. “Girl stuff — speaking of, who’s your friend Lucas?” Jade pushed her hip against him and scooted in the booth next to him. “Jade this is Amy, Amy this is Jade, Tommy’s girlfriend.” “You know Tommy, Amy was it?” “I do — we used to go to school together,” she smiled. “Well isn’t that special.” Jade smiled. Her smile turned to a scowl as she looked at Lucas, “So Lucas are you on a date?” “Amy excuse us please, Jade let’s take a walk,” Lucas all but shoved Jade out of the booth with his hip. He stood up and stormed across the restaurant and she followed him. “What are you doing Jade?” “Just meeting your friend,” Jade raised her eyebrow as she put her hands on her hips. “Okay well, what I do is none of your business or hers,” Lucas pointed to Tessa as she walked by. “Well, genius this isn’t helping your cause, and to think I was giving her a hard time about Ben, guess I’ll switch teams now, asshole,” Jade sneered. “Jade, Amy is friends with Sadi. I’m here to talk about Sadi. I am not going to take her home and fuck her. And as far as Tessa goes, she can do whatever the hell she wants, there has been way too much damage done there.” “So you don’t care about her?” “Actually Jade I’m fucking pissed at her!” “Why?” “I don’t want to talk about it! Why don’t you go join the Doe camp crew and let me eat fucking lunch,” Lucas stormed away. “Good chat Lucas,” Jade called after him. Lunch was on the table when she got back, “Friend of Sadi’s.” They finished eating lunch and left. Tessa was angry with herself for getting upset, even angrier that she threw up in the bathroom,
Phoebe had laughed when she threw up, “Look at that, a sign; he even makes me physically sick.” Tessa went home and showered and shaved her legs. She washed her face and brushed and flossed her teeth. She wasn’t sure what to wear, so she called Jade. Jade told her loose jeans and a very tight shirt. Tessa did as she was told and added brown cowgirl boots, a brown belt, and a cropped jacket. Her hair was blown out and down. The way Ben liked it. Her make- up is a little heavier than she usually did. She looked good.
CHAPTER EIGHT Cassidy picked her up and handed Tessa a bowl, “Actually I’m good,” she smiled. They pulled in, and Tessa got butterflies. It’d only been five days since she’d seen him, but it felt like it was all new again. Tessa walked in, and he was singing. Black jeans and a white tank under a buttoneddown gray shirt, he looked hot. His face was beautiful and very boyish, he had big dimples, and he was right about his butt… it was perfect. Tessa stood smiling as she watched him. Ben seemed to be scanning the crowd; she knew he was looking for her. She grabbed Cassidy’s hand and walked as close to the front as she could. Ben saw her and lit up; he winked at her and kept singing. Cassidy and Tessa danced as they watched the band. His first set was over, and he jumped off stage and grabbed her face and kissed her. “You look hotter every time I see you, Tess.” Tessa smiled and stepped back and looked him up and down. She walked around and patted his butt. “So do you,” he laughed and kissed her again. Ben went back on, and he played guitar for a few songs and then he sang. Tessa loved to hear him sing. As his eyes bore into her, he sang — making the butterflies turn into hummingbirds. She lifted her shirt and flashed him. Ben stopped singing and laughed the band stopped. “Tess, come up here for a minute,” she shook her head no. “You can either come up or I’ll come get you,” Ben raised his eyebrow and held his hand up. He grabbed her and pulled her onstage. “Tess did you just flash me?” She smiled and slowly shook her head no, “Tess the truth,” she laughed. “Did the girls miss me?” she laughed, and he dropped to his knees and slowly started to lift her shirt. She pushed his hands away. “Trust me,” he mouthed. He kissed her belly and then blew really hard on it. Tessa laughed, and the crowd went wild. “I think they like you almost as much as I do, smile for them Tess.” She turned and smiled and waved. Tessa saw Tommy, Jade, Ryan and Lucas standing in the crowd. Jade was smiling. Ryan and Tommy were looking down, and Lucas was pissed. “Stay up here with me while I finish this song Tess, then you’re going to sing with me,” she smiled at him. He pulled a stool up and sat her on it and started the song were they left off. He walked over and kissed her cheek “Do you know Close My Eyes Forever?” “I do, but I don’t want to screw up,” she shook her head no. “I have the song on my CD player. We’ll do it next set?” she shook her head yes. “Cool… I can think of something for now.” She looked at him and shook her head no, and he laughed. “Okay, I got one” he whispered to the other guitarist. They started playing I Touch Myself. He winked at her, and she laughed and sang it to him, she didn’t dare look out in the crowd. She played the part and danced around while she sang. When she was done, the crowd cheered. “Awesome job Tessa, but between you and I,” Ben whispered into the mic, “You’ll never have to do that; I’ll take care of you. Alright we have only worked on this for a few days so bear with us.” They played Zeppelin’s Thank You, he sang to her and smiled, it was perfect. The set was over, and he dragged her off the side and gave her his CD player. He kissed her “You’ll do awesome.”
Jade ran up and hugged her, “You did excellent! And, by the way, he is so damn cute and very into you.” Tessa hugged her back. “Why is he here?” Jade whispered, “He wanted to come, sorry, he was well aware of who was playing.” “Oh,” she was confused. “Hi guys,” Tessa smiled. They said hello and Lucas rolled his eyes and walked away. Lucas walked up to a pretty dark- haired girl and whispered in her ear, she took his hand. Tessa turned to find Ben. She hugged him tightly. “What’s up?” She pointed to Jade and Tommy and Lucas, and the brunette walking towards the door. “Company.” “Does it bother you?” “I just don’t know why he had to come here.” “Me either, but we’re going to have fun anyway,” Ben kissed her, “Practice!” Ben put the headphones on her. She buried her head against his chest and listened as he glared towards the door Ben went onstage singing: she watched him and smiled. He truly was amazing. “Tess, come on up here,” he said, and everyone cheered. “They still missing me?” he grabbed the bottom of her shirt, she looked away blushing. “You ready to sing with me? You ready to hear Tessa sing again?” he asked, and they all cheered. He leaned over and kissed her “Just look at me.” They sang together perfectly. They both put so much emotion into it. In the end, they stood face to face, looking into each others eyes as they both tried to catch their breath. Ben finally smiled and looked away. “Let’s hear it for Tess everyone,” she turned and smiled and immediately she saw Lucas making out with a girl. She watched as he kissed her neck and his hands moved to her breast and she tipped her head back. As they kissed, he walked her to the side of the room, and he grabbed her arms and pinned them against the wall, kissing her and grinding against her. “Tess,” Ben whispered, “You going to stay up here and sing with me again?” She turned to him and smiled. “Anything you want Ben and I mean anything,” she heard cheering and the crowd going wild, she laughed and kissed him. Ben smiled and said, “On the ride to your place, we’ll talk about it.” “You can drive Ben and talk all you want, my mouth will be busy doing something else,” she pulled him by the waistband into her and kissed him. The crowd cheered, and she bit her lip and raised her eyebrow, turned, and walked off stage. “Alright everyone thanks for coming and goodnight,” Ben started walking off stage, “Oh snap. One more set.” As she danced, she felt someone bumped into her. She glanced over her shoulder, and it was Lucas and number thirteen. Tessa moved, and Jade glared at him, Lucas smirked and moved closer to Tessa. The song ended. “Hey Tess, is that asshole bugging you?” Ben asked, “Come on up here girl.” She smiled, and he pulled her onstage. “We have got another song for you girl, and all you ladies out there who have encountered douche bag boys like Lucas.” The band played Two Princes. Ben jumped around and sang, his moves were amazing; she could not wait to get out of here. Lucas didn’t even respond he was too busy to even come up for air. They did one more song and ended.
Tessa walked off stage and Ben grabbed her and kissed her. “Are we good?” “Oh, way better than good Ben,” Tessa smiled and her eyes were dancing. “I’m so happy to have you in my life. Let’s help pack up and then I want to go home,” she grinned and looked him over. “You sure?” “Positive.” Jade and Tommy came up, Tommy shook Ben’s hand. “You’re awesome man.” “Thanks, I think she made me look good,” he smiled at Tessa. “Tessa come to the bathroom with me? Be right back Tommy,” she said and kissed him. “You okay?” Jade asked when they were in the bathroom. “Actually, I’m. I’m great,” she smiled. “He and I would have never worked out Jade, I just hope he remembers some of the good times and lets himself open up to someone someday. I’ll always love him in a way. I want him to be as happy as I know I’m going to be.” “You’re serious aren’t you?” “I am.” Jade’s voice cracked, “I’m so happy for you, I just hope that he and Tommy get along.” “Are you kidding me? They’re going to get along great. They are a lot alike, well I think so anyway. They both enjoy being happy and can actually show people they care,” Tessa smiled sadly. “I love you, Tessa.” “I love you, Jade. Now let’s go get our guys.” They walked out, and Tommy and Ben were laughing and planning something. “What are you two doing?” Tessa smiled “We’re going to find a way to take you girls away for a couple days, over Spring Break. Does that sound okay to you pretty girl?” Tommy smiled. Tessa smiled at Ben, “That sounds great.” Jade and Tessa hugged again, and they said goodbye. “Hey, can we all go out for breakfast in the morning? Tess expects me to slave over the stove in the morning and I kind of think I’m going to be a bit tired,” he said laughing and she smacked him in the arm. “Sounds like a plan, ten sound good?” Tommy asked. “I don’t know, how long you plan to keep me up tonight,” Ben asked laughing as he smiled at Tessa. “Ten is good,” Tessa said softly. Tommy and Jade laughed, “Perfect sounds like we all plan to, tonight,” Tommy smiled. Tessa and Ben finished helping load the van, both smiling each time their eyes met. They said goodnight and held hands as they walked to the parking lot. Ben opened the door for her, and she got in. Grabbing the back of her head, he kissed her, his tongue explored her mouth slowly and even slower he pulled back. “Tess, damn it’s going to be a long ride.” She was breathing hard and closed her eyes. “Let’s go, please.” Ben got in and buckled his seat belt and pulled out onto the four- lane city street. He turned on the radio and sat back. She turned in her seat and watched him. He glanced over at her, “Tess, please don’t look at me like that right now.” “Please don’t tell me what to do Ben,” she said in a soft, breathless voice. “I never would, Tess.” “Do you promise me you’ll never tell me what to do?” “Unless you ask for my opinion, guidance, or advice, I’ll try me damnedest.” “Good… remember that,” Tessa lifted the console and unbuckled her seat belt.
She started to undo his pants. “Tess not now,” Ben strained voice gave out to a groan as her hand slipped beneath his pants. “Don’t tell me what to do,” she took him in her hand and slowly moved it up and down. “Oh, shit Tess, please not yet.” “Hey, look there’s Big Ben.” Tessa bent down and kissed his tip. “Uh Tess, stop now,” he moaned. “You promised,” she continued stroking him slowly curiously and then wrapped her lips around him. “Hey girl, we’re getting pulled over by the Police, you may want to rethink that,” Ben hissed. She opened her eyes and saw flashing lights. “No way,” she sat up. Ben did up his pants laughing a low, throaty laugh. Tessa sat with her head down. Ben rolled down the window, and the officer walked up. “License and registration, please.” Ben took out his license and grabbed the registration. “Here you go sir.” “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “Sir, no disrespect at all but I’m incredibly uncomfortable right now,” Ben laughed. “Ben,” Tessa whispered and gave Ben a nasty look. “Miss, do you know why?” “No sir.” “Did you have your seat belt on when I pulled you over?” Ben chuckled. “Ben, please,” she whispered. “No sir, I didn’t.” “Could you tell me why?” Ben couldn’t hold it in any longer, he started laughing. The officer smiled and looked down. “Sir, I told her not to.” “You did?” he looked stunned. “Holy shit, really??” Tessa sat back and put her head in her hands. “Yes I did, we’re an hour away from home. Look at her she is fucking hot; I don’t want to just sit there. I’ve been waiting for this since we were kids.” “My God, Ben please,” Tessa begged hoping he would stop. “Miss, do you have ID?” “Yes,” she handed it to him. “Tessa Ross, I know your father,” Tessa covered her mouth and the officer laughed, “Joking, okay you’re both eighteen, have you two been drinking or doing drugs?” “No, sir,” Tessa said, Oh God, she thought, please don’t make me pee in a cup. “Alright then. Miss, you need to buckle up and stay that way,” he pointed at Tessa. “Yes Sir.” “And you son — drive home safely and have a great night,” the officer gave him a fist bump. He pulled around them and left. Ben started laughing. “Did that actually just happen?” Tessa gasped. Ben laughed harder “I think it did…rethinking that rule, now I have to say I will sometimes tell you what to do.” She finally laughed and covered her face again. “So how was I doing?” Ben pulled her hands away from her face and lifted her chin making her look at him, “Amazing.” “I want to do it again now.” “I want you too Tess,” he said. “But I think we should heed his warning.”
They held hands as they drove to the next stop light and stopped. They saw lights up ahead. There was an accident. It was a bus and a midsize SUV. They were too far back to clearly see it. Four Ambulances left the scene. As they got closer, Tessa threw her seat belt off. “Ben! Stop!” she tried to jump out, he grabbed her. “Hold on Tess.” Ben pulled over and Tessa started screaming Jade’s name. Ben put the four ways on and unbuckled as he held her back. Ben slid across the seat and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Tess,” he whispered as he got out and she screamed. The officer that had just pulled them over walked towards them. “You two need to stay back,” he cautioned. Tessa crumbled when she noticed Jade’s purse on the ground. She was screaming her name as she sat on the ground and rocked back and forth cradling herself. Ben squatted behind her and held her. “Officer, we think that’s Tessa’s cousin. She was with three guys. Could you please tell us if Jade Ross was in that vehicle?” “Give me a minute,” it was the longest minute of Tessa’s life. “Yes, she’s on her way to the hospital now, all four of them are.” “Is she okay” Tessa cried. Ben watched his eyes. “She’s going to be okay.” “Sir what about the other three?” Ben asked watching him carefully as he held Tessa tightly against him. His eyes closed briefly, and he looked at Ben. “Two of them are in rough shape son.” “Okay, what hospital?” Ben asked. “University Hospital,” he answered. “Tessa, it’s not good. You’re going to need to keep it together or you need to stay out of there.” She looked up at him and shook her head as tears poured down her face. She looked back at the scene and saw a man doing a sobriety test. “What happened?” she asked quietly. He knelt down, “Witnesses say that the bus ran a red light and hit the vehicle. Right now, we’re pretty sure it’s no fault of the driver of the car your cousin was in.” “Is the bus driver drunk?” “We aren’t sure yet,” he said. “Do you need a ride to the hospital?” “No, I’ll get her there, thank you, for everything. Are you ready to go Tess?” “Yes.” Ben opened the door, and she got in. He reached across and buckled her seat belt. He jumped in and put the hospital in his GPS. They were less than five minutes away. “Mom,” Tessa said. “Are you working at University tonight?… Okay is Jade there Mom?... Is she okay?... I’m on my way… I’m with Ben…Ben, my Mom, wants to talk to you.” “Hello,” he said. “Oh…Yes… I will… I believe she has their phone numbers… Ok, thank you. Of course.” Ben hung up, and his face was blank. He sped up a bit and pulled into the emergency lot. She bolted out the door and he ran and grabbed her. “We need to talk for a minute, Tess.” “I want to go in now.” “You need to be prepared Tess,” he took her hand and led her to a bench by the entry. He sat her down and knelt in front of her. Ben looked in her eyes. “Jade and Ryan suffered minor injuries, they’re going to be hurting, but they’ll be ok.” He took a deep breath. “Lucas has a large cut on the side of his head and possibly a few broken ribs, he’s in x- ray now.
You with me Tessa?” “Yes, what about Tommy?” she shook her head back and forth and he held her hand tighter. “Tessa, Tommy didn’t make it.” She suddenly stopped breathing, like an elephant was sitting on her chest. “No, Ben that’s wrong.” “Tess it was instant, he didn’t suffer,” Ben stroked her hair. “Jade doesn’t know yet, none of them do,” Ben’s eyes widened and he blinked holding back tears. “You’re going to have to be very strong right now and if you can’t we need to sit out here until you’re able. None of their parents are here yet. Do you understand?” She shook her head yes. “I need to hear it, Tess.” “I’ll be fine.” “If you feel yourself falling apart you need to walk away ok? If you’re not comfortable with me being here, I’ll wait somewhere else for you Tess, okay?” Ben kissed her hand. “I don’t want you to go anywhere Ben ever,” she wiped her face. Ben wanted to believe that, but he knew that again this was not their time. He took her hand and walked in. She stopped and held her stomach. He pulled her into the women’s bathroom and held her hair as she threw up several times. He grabbed paper towels and wet them and washed her face and grabbed some gum out of his pocket and handed it to her. He grabbed her purse and ruffled through it until he found a hair tie. He pulled her hair back and put it in a ponytail. He kissed her. “You okay now?” “Yes, thank you, Ben,” she hugged him. They walked by a vending machine, and he plopped in quarters and got her a ginger ale. Ben opened it and handed it to her. She drank a few sips, and he took it back. Her Mom met them at the desk, she hugged her tightly and grabbed her face and looked in her eyes. She looked at Ben, “How is she?” “She knows, and she’s doing better now. If you’re going to be with her, I’ll wait here until she needs me.” “Thank you, Benjamin,” Maggie hugged him, “Thank you so much.” He looked at Tessa, “I’m right out here.” She hugged him tightly, “Ok, thank you Ben.” Maggie took her hand, and they walked in through the automatic doors. They wheeled Lucas by on a stretcher and Tessa saw his head wrapped in a bloody bandage. Tessa gasped, her mother squeezed her hand. He opened his eyes. “Tessa,” he groaned as his eyes rolled back. Tessa stood back holding her hand over her mouth, not knowing what to say. Maggie grabbed his chart, “Lucas this is Maggie — I’m a nurse here. You have a concussion and a pretty large wound on the left side of your head honey. We’re going to stitch you up. You’re going to be fine ok? Your parents have been notified and are on their way.” His eyes fluttered, “Tessa.” “Lucas I’m here,” she grabbed his hand, he squeezed it. “Your dream,” he opened his eyes, “I’m sorry.” “Lucas it's ok,” she kissed his hand. “Your dream Tessa, who is it?” “Lucas you need to rest, I’m going with my mom to check on everyone okay?” He nodded and winced, “You rest, I’ll be back ok?” “Thank you, baby,” he closed his eyes. “Good job Tessa,” Maggie whispered as they walked into Ryan’s room.
Ryan was sitting up and getting stitches in his left arm. His right arm was badly bruised from the impact, but he was alright. “Hello Ryan, how are you feeling?” “I’d be a lot better if I knew how everyone was. Tessa they were using that heart machine on Tommy and I think — well can you find out how he is? Please Tessa,” Ryan’s eyes were watering. “Well, I can tell you I just saw Lucas, and he has to have stitches in his head. That doesn’t sound like much fun does it?” she gave him a weak smile. “Your parents are on their way, and I’ll report back to you okay?” “Tessa how is Jade; she is going to be a mess.” Tessa looked at her Mom “Ryan, as soon as we know we’ll tell you, but right now you need to rest okay?” Ryan laid back. By the look in his eyes, he knew. They came to Jade’s room. Tessa walked in, and Jade was sitting up wide- eyed. She had a few scratches on her left hand. “Tessa, how did you know we were here?” “We came upon the accident. The police told us you were here. I saw your purse on the ground. It scared me Jade,” she took a deep breath and tried not to cry. “Tessa, did Tommy wake up yet?” Tessa took a deep breath, and Jade searched her face. “I know he was pretty messed up. I’m sure he had cuts in his mouth because the last time I saw him he had blood coming out of it. And he hurt his ear too Tessa.” Each time she mentioned an injury her voice broke a bit more. Tessa was taking deep breaths trying not to cry. “There was blood in it too. Tessa they used the machine that shocks people’s hearts on Tommy,” she had tears rolling down her face. “Did you see him yet?” Tessa shook her head no. A nurse came in and handed Maggie her chart. Maggie read it and took a deep breath, “Tessa could you please give Jade and I a minute?” “No, Aunt Maggie, I think I need Tessa to come sit with me now,” more tears rolled down her face. “Tessa, please get under these covers and hold me. I think I’m going to fall apart,” she was shaking. Tessa told her to lie down, kicked her shoes off, and climbed under the covers and hugged Jade. “Tessa he’s gone isn’t he?” Tessa closed her eyes and pulled Jades head to her chest. Tessa looked at Maggie, “Ok Jade, we did blood work to test a few things, are you sure you want Tessa in here Jade,” she shook her head yes. “Jade honey,” she sat on the other side of her and rubbed her back, “this test says you’re pregnant.” “Tommy and I are going to have a baby?” Jade cried softly. “Tessa did you hear that?” she smiled. “I want to see him so I can tell him… I know he will wake up then.” She cried harder, “Tommy’s going to miss this.” “Jade we need to take you down and do an ultrasound. Tessa’s going to need to leave for this okay?” “You’ll be back, right? You can’t leave me Tessa.” “I’ll be here Jade, I promise.” Tessa walked into the waiting room, and Ben jumped up and walked towards her. She grabbed him and hugged him. “Ben,” Tessa whispered. Ben kissed her head and sat down and pulled her on his lap, she started to cry. He ran his hands through her hair and hugged her. Tessa saw the parents come in, first Ryan’s then Tommy’s. Uncle Jack came in next and Lucas’s Mom right behind him. They all stood at the desk. Tessa walked up and hugged her uncle; he grabbed her and hugged her back. Lucas’s Mom looked at her, she held her hand. Maggie came out and took Tommy’s
parents into the room, and his mothers scream echoed throughout the ER. “Tessa is Lucas…” she started to cry. “Lucas is going to be fine… physically,” Tessa hugged her. “Uncle Jack, Jade is too, and Ryan is good. None of them have been told yet. Jade is having some testing.” They heard Lucas yelling at the nurses, “What the fuck is going on? Where’s Tommy? I want to see him now!” Tessa grabbed his mom’s hand and led her back to his room. “Lucas, your mom, is here,” Kate hugged him tightly, and he cried. Lucas looked up and saw Tessa standing there, he was crying, he looked at her confused. “Tessa?” he said, “Where’s Tommy?” he wiped his tears away, and she stood frozen. His eyes bored into hers: “Damn it Tessa, where is he!” She took a deep breath and walked over to him and grabbed his hand. He looked at her and shook his head and winced, he pulled her towards him. “Just fucking say it!” he yelled. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He let go of her hand and grabbed Tessa’s face. “Tell me!” “Lucas… he’s gone,” Tessa whispered as tears fell down her cheek. He let go of her and tried to stand up, Maggie walked in. “Lucas you’re going to need to sit down honey okay,” and he did. She looked at the other nurse and shook her head yes. “We’re going to give you something to help you relax.” The nurse put a syringe into his IV, and he looked at Tessa. “Please baby,” he said immediately feeling the effects of the drugs, “don’t leave me.” She took his hand and helped him back into bed. He pulled her towards him and she sat on his bed and held him until he fell asleep. “Tessa they’re bringing Jade up now,” Maggie whispered. “Okay Momma.” She loosened her hand from Lucas’s tight grip and handed it to his Mom “I’ll be back later,” she hugged her and walked down the hall. Mr. and Mrs. Brooks were in with Ryan. Tessa walked in. “You okay Ryan?” “How is Jade?” “She’s coming back up now. She had to have a test done.” “So he’s gone right? Tommy’s gone?” Tessa shook her head yes and hugged him. He hugged her and looked at her. “How is Lucas?” “He’s asleep,” she cleared her throat, “They gave him something to help him sleep.” Ryan wiped away her tears and hugged her, “You need to go be with Jade now, Tessa. She’s going to need you.” “They’re both going to need us, Ryan,” he hugged her again. “Well, lucky for them, we’re here,” Ryan smiled through falling tears. “Now go.” She walked into Jade’s room, and Uncle Jack looked at her. “Does she know yet?” he asked. “I think she knows, but no one has officially told her. They were waiting for you,” she held his hand. He hugged her, “This is not going to be good Tessa, can you be strong for her?” “Of course I can. We are Ross.' We’ll be okay,” Tessa forced a smile on her face. They wheeled her in, and Jade saw her father. “Daddy,” she said and smiled softly, “Tommy, and I are going to have a baby, please don’t be mad… we love each other.” Jack looked at his little girl and said nothing. “Uncle Jack,” Tessa whispered, “We need to be strong for her.”
“How long have you know?” “I just found out Daddy. I need to tell Tommy so he’ll wake up,” she began crying. “He isn’t waking up is he Daddy?” Jack shook his head no. “I love him Daddy please… he has to wake up, I love him.” “Oh Jade, we’ll get through this one too,” he hugged her and held her tight. Maggie walked in. “Momma, please give her something she needs to sleep,” Tessa cried. “No Tessa, I have a beautiful baby growing in my belly. I don’t need anything,” she said. “Jade we’re going to give you a little something, it’s perfectly safe for the baby, okay?” Maggie said. “No, I want to see him before I sleep; I need to see him please! I need to tell him he’s going to be a Daddy,” Jade sobbed. “Jade,” Tessa softly rubbed her back “Tommy already knows. He’s holding his little soul in heaven, he already knows him,” tears fell down her face. Jade turned to her, “He does, doesn’t he,.. Tessa?” She hugged Tessa, and they cried together. Maggie turned and saw Tommy’s parents standing at the door. She smiled at them and motioned them in. Tommy’s Mom stroked Jade’s long black hair and Jade looked up. “I’m so sorry,” Jade cried. His mom hugged her. They cried together. “Jade are you pregnant?” “I guess I am,” she touched her belly. “How far along are you?” She held up a picture and handed it to her. “This says I’m ten weeks,” she said softly. “You didn’t know?” “No, not until an hour ago. I need to see him, I need to tell him,” Jade said as tears ran down her face. Tommy’s mom looked at Maggie. “Can she see him?” she asked softly. “If that’s what she wants. I’ll go get a wheelchair. Jade are you sure?” Maggie asked. “Yes, can Tessa come with me?” “Of course, honey.” Tessa wheeled Jade down the hall with Tommy’s parents. They stopped outside the door next to Lucas’s room. “We’ll give you a minute before we come in,” Mrs. Lane said softly. They walked through the door, and Jade cried loudly. “Oh, Tommy please, please wake up,” she stood and hugged his lifeless body. Tessa stroked her hair while they both said their goodbyes. He just looked like he was sleeping. *** Lucas woke and heard her. He stood up. “Lucas you need to lay back down honey,” his Mom said. “No, I don’t, I need to go out there,” he got up and pulled his IV out. He saw Tommy’s parents standing by the door. They hugged him. *** “Tommy I love you and have since the day I saw your beautiful smile,” Jade said. “I need to tell you
something. You’re going to be a Daddy. Tessa says you already know, and that and the two of you are in heaven together. Please Tommy, if you can’t wake up I need you to hold our baby tight and let him know you until I get to see his beautiful face. I promise I’ll take good care of him then, but right now as he is sitting on your lap, teach him about who you are. The beautiful person you are,” She sobbed “I love you Thomas James. I love you so much!” The door opened, and Tommy’s parents and Lucas walked in, Ryan was behind them. Lucas looked at him and stood shocked, he stumbled back, and Tessa caught him. She grabbed a chair and made him sit. He held her hand, and she rubbed his back with the other. Lucas looked at the ground, and tears fell. “He looks beautiful doesn’t he Lucas?” Jade said as she hugged Tommy, “He’s sleeping until we see him again someday.” Jade took Tommy’s hand and placed it on her belly and kissed his head over and over again. She took Lucas’s hand and placed it on her belly. “Part of Tommy is right here. We’re going to have a baby and that baby is going to need to know all about Tommy. Can you help me with that; can you be strong for Tommy?” Jade said crying. Lucas looked up at her and shook his head. “Ryan,” Jade said, “You can help too, okay?” she hugged him. “You helped me through my brothers. I’m going to need you for this too, okay?” “Jade anything you need,” Ryan said, “I’ll always be here, always.” She climbed up next to Tommy and hugged him and kissed his face. “Tommy we’re going to be okay, you take care of our baby for now, my love. I promise I’ll see you again someday,” she sobbed and so did everyone in the room. “Tessa, I don’t want to leave him, I can’t leave him,” Tessa hugged her. “This hurts so badly!” Maggie walked in, her eyes red and burning “Jade I’m going to give you a shot, okay?” “Okay, Aunt Maggie,” she cried. She clung to Tommy and they stayed until she started to get sleepy. Jack picked her up and walked out of the room. Tessa bent down and kissed Tommy’s head, “I’ll get them through this, I promise.” She looked at Ryan “You want to say something to him?” Ryan put his hand on Tommy’s head and closed his eyes and then walked out. Tessa bent down, “Lucas,” he looked at her. “It’s time to say goodbye for now.” She whispered and kissed his head. Lucas shook his head no. Tessa held his hand until he finally stood up and stroked his hair, “Goodbye for now, brother,” he closed his eyes as tears fell. He was shaky as he started to walk out; Tessa put his arm around her shoulder and helped him. They stopped at Tommy’s parents, he hugged them both and Tessa helped him to his room. Lucas sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, his head rested on her chest. She rubbed and kissed his head. “Lucas, you need to sleep,” she said softly. He looked up at her, “You do too, Tessa.” “I’m going to have my mom give you something to help you sleep okay?” He shook his head yes, she turned to leave. “Tessa wait, what you said to Jade? Do you actually believe that, you know the stuff she told Tommy?” She walked over and squatted down. “Yes Lucas, I do. Just like I know he has met your child and I’m sure the two of them are already the best of friends,” she smiled and a tear rolled down her face. “You’re sure?”
“Yes I am.” He hugged her and she held him. Maggie came into the room and gave him a shot to relax him. After a few minutes he started to relax, she lifted his feet onto the bed and covered him up. He looked at her, “Baby, thank you.” She hugged his Mom and went to check on Jade, she was asleep in Jack’s arms. She walked out and Ryan and his parents were in the waiting room with Ben. Ryan stood up and hugged her. “That was beautiful Tessa,” he kissed her cheek. “Ryan they’re going to need us for a long time,” she started to cry. “We can do that, I’ve always tried to watch out for Jade, ever since the boy’s accident,” Ryan said. “You love her don’t you?” Tessa whispered. “Always have, always will,” Ryan said sadly. “Your secret is safe with me,” Tessa hugged him. “They’re making me go home. Will you call me and let me know how things are going?” She shook her head yes. Tessa turned around and Ben was sitting drinking coffee. There were three empty cups in front of him, she smiled and walked over to him. She sat down and took his hand. “Hey Ben.” “How you holding up, Tess?” “Good,” she tried to smile. She hugged him and cried as he held her. Maggie came out, “Tessa, why don’t you let Ben take you home?” “I can’t leave them,” she stood up, “Jade needs me.” “Honey, Jade’s sleeping. When she wakes up, she’s going to be released. Uncle Jack and I talked, he’s taking the week off, he’ll be there. You need to sleep so you can be there, too,” Tessa looked at her searching for more. “The same thing with Lucas, he’s okay and he’ll be going home today, his Mother will take him home. I will let them both know I sent you home and that you will see them later. Ben — you okay to drive?” “Sure am Maggie,” Ben smiled. Tessa went to check on them and told Lucas’s mother she was being forced to go home and to please let her know if they needed anything, she programmed her number into her phone and hugged her. “As long as you’re alright, he will be too,” Tessa said. “I think that’s true of both of us Tessa, he misses you badly.” “I know how he feels,” Tessa leaned over and kissed Lucas and wiped his tear stained cheek she held his head between her hands and rubbed his cheek. She pressed her forehead against his and then kissed his nose. She stood remembering Kate was in the room. She wiped her eyes and walked out. Tessa had the same conversation with Uncle Jack. “How are you doing with all this baby stuff?” she asked him. “Alright. If that’s what gets her through… so be it. Don’t get me wrong — if the circumstances were different, she would be in deep shit. But she’s my baby, Tessa… and she’s going through so much, I can’t be angry with her. I’m just going to have to figure it out alone, just like she will,” He hugged his little girl who was asleep in his arms. “I’m going to be here every step of the way, I promise.” “I know Tessa, I know,” she hugged him and kissed Jade before she left. They walked out and Ben opened her door and immediately buckled Tessa’s seat belt. He got in and pulled out onto the road. She unbuckled and lifted the console and sat next to him leaning her head on his shoulder.
“Tess come on girl, buckle, please.”
CHAPTER NINE They pulled into the farm, and he kissed her cheek watching her sleep, he brushed her hair away from her face. Damn it, he thought as he closed his eyes and kissed her head again. “You’re home Tess,” she sat up and felt a lump in her throat. Her lip started quivering, and she followed him out of the truck. Ben turned and grabbed her hand, and she hugged him and cried. Her brothers, sister, and John walked out. She didn’t let go of Ben. He rubbed her back and answered all their questions. “Let’s go inside Tess,” Ben whispered. They went in and sat in the living room. Chewy jumped on her lap and licked her face, she pet him and sat silent for a while. “Ben,” she whispered, and he hugged her as she cried more. “I need a shower,” she walked into the bathroom and grabbed him a towel and washcloth. She came out and handed it to him, he smiled. “You remember where the other shower is?” When she was finished, she walked out wrapped in a towel. He sat on the couch with her family. Ben looked at her and then closed his eyes and looked down. She is beautiful, he thought. “Are you hungry Tessa?” John asked. Tessa was in the kitchen and started going through the cupboards. “No, but I need to cook, I have to make something for Jade and Tommy’s family, and Ryan and Lucas. We don’t have anything I need.” She sat down and read over her list. She grabbed the Jeep key’s and started out the door. “Tessa you need to sleep, the kids and I will go get the stuff you need. You go lay down — I’ll wake you when I get back. Ben are you staying awhile?” John asked. “Yes, as long as you guys need,” Ben said watching Tessa from the corner of his eye. “Good, make sure she sleeps, please. We’ll be back soon,” John and the kids left. Ben took her hand and pulled her up “Let’s go.” He grabbed a pillow and set it on the couch, she lay down, and he grabbed a blanket to cover her up. “Ben, please lay down with me,” she said quietly. They fell asleep. Chewy barked and Tessa jumped up. Ben sat up and looked at her, “You okay?” “Yes Ben, thank you,” she hugged him. She stood up and went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She walked out and got busy cooking. Ben helped her. Tessa knew she was falling for him, and she was sure he was falling, too. “Ben I’m so glad you’re here.” “Tess, it’ll be hard either way,” he hugged her. She started to tear up again. “Come on girl, we have LOTS to do.” They made Ziti, scalloped potatoes, lasagna and chicken casserole. Tessa’s phone rang — it was her mom; they were releasing Jade and Lucas in an hour. It was four o’clock. She looked at Ben, and he looked at her. “You’re going to be busy all week, Tessa. I looked at the calendar and saw your play was this week,” Ben rubbed her cheek “Oh, I can’t do that, I just can’t,” Tessa began to panic.
Ben kissed her, “Yes, you can Tess.” “No, I can’t,” she yelled and tried to catch her breath. Ben kissed her again and held her until she relaxed. “You can do anything Tess; you’ve already been through so much.” “Three losses in six weeks” she whispered. He smiled softly, “Then it’s over Tess, they come in threes.” “I have heard that, no four, Lucas’s baby… God I can’t do this!” Tessa cried as he held her, “I can’t do this to you.” “Tess I’m going to be here if you need me. I know that this is a horrible time for you,” he stopped. He wanted to tell her he was falling in love with her. He wanted to just fucking stay here and help her. He knew that would be making her dependent on him, making her feel like she needed him and he wouldn’t do to her what he saw her and Lucas do to each other. It wasn’t right, and as badly as he wanted her, he knew that she was easily going to fall back into old habits. He just had to believe that she would figure it out for herself. Tessa was stubborn and him pointing that all out would just cause upset, and she’d already had enough of that. She will figure it out. The timer went off, and she jumped. Ben helped her get the food out and covered. “Hey, girl I have to go soon. You’re going to be okay,” Ben hugged her. She took a deep breath and looked at him. “If you say so.” “Oh wow, now she listens,” Ben smiled. She helped him get his stuff into the truck. He hugged her and kissed her face. “I’ll see you Thursday night Tessa,” he smiled. “Okay…for what did I miss something?” “Opening night.” “Oh, Ben that’s a long drive for an hour and a half,” Tessa shook her head no. “To watch you sing on stage, it’ll be well worth it.” “Please drive safe Ben,” she said sadly, “Please.” He hugged her and kissed her again. “I will I promise.” *** Tessa and Alex got the food in the Jeep and went to Tommy’s first. They knocked on the door, and his mother answered. “Hi, we just wanted to drop this off for you and your family,” Alex handed her the dishes. “Thank you,” she wiped her eyes. “We’re meeting with the funeral director in the morning, and after we thought maybe you would all like to come over and help us finalize the plans.” “Of course,” Tessa hugged her. They drove to Lucas’s and he and his mother pulled in beside them. Alex got out and opened the door for Lucas. “Hey Alex,” Lucas got out of the car smirking. He was obviously high on pain meds, “Hey Baby,” he smiled, “Oh shit I mean Tessa, your boyfriend still around?” he asked acting pissy. “No, Lucas,” she looked at him full of guilt. “Hello Tessa,” his mother stepped between them, “Thank you. You didn’t have to.” She carried the food in the house, and Alex helped Lucas stumble in. Tessa followed them into the living room, with a plate of food. “Here Lucas, you should eat,” she said softly. “And you should stop looking at me like you feel sorry for me Tessa, it pisses me off!” “I’m sorry Lucas I just thought you might be hungry,” she sat it down and turned and walked out of the room.
“Lucas, she’s just being nice,” Alex said. “Sorry man.” “We have stuff to take to Jade’s. If you need anything call me, I’m here,” Alex said. He looked to the kitchen and saw Tessa hugging his mom. And they left. He ate and fell asleep on the couch. *** They had stopped at the store before they went to Jade’s. Tessa bought some parenting magazines, pickles, and peanut butter. Her hope was to give Jade something to look forward to. They walked in, and Jade was asleep on the couch. Uncle Jack thanked them and asked if they would stay and wait until she woke up. They sat and watched her sleep for about an hour, she woke up screaming. Tessa sat beside the couch and rubbed her back. “Tessa, I miss him.” “I’m sorry,” Tessa said “So sorry,” she sat and snuggled with her. “Uncle Jack can I stay the night?” “Of course.” Alex left and headed back to Lucas’s for a bit. They didn’t talk much, but Lucas was glad he was there. Jade woke up screaming every three hours and Tessa held her each time. The next morning Tessa woke, and Jade was already up. She was sitting on the couch looking through one of the magazines Tessa had brought. “This is how I’m going to get through this, huh Tessa?” “Of course.” “Okay then,” Jade said. “It hurts Tessa, really bad.” “I am so sorry Jade.” “You just lost Toby, and you seemed to be okay.” “That was different from you and Tommy. And you are having a baby, thank God because if you acted the way I did in the beginning we would be in deep trouble,” Tessa joked. It hit Tessa that she really hadn’t had time to grieve; on the heels of Ann’s death was Toby’s and then Lucas’s baby, and now Tommy. None of it was alright, but she couldn’t afford to waste any more time feeling sorry for herself for the things she couldn’t change. “If you say so, you just didn’t get a chance to see him every day, or hug him and kiss him, or touch him every single day. You didn’t just know he would hold your hand and eat lunch with you. Or throw pebbles at your window every other night and sneak in and stay all night telling you and showing you how special you were to him,” she began to cry. “Tessa before the first time, he gave me a ring and asked me to marry him on one knee with flowers. We even exchanged vows in front of God. To him and I, we were forever,” Jade sobbed. “Jade you are forever. In here,” she touched her heart, “and in here,” she rubbed Jade’s belly. “In just a few short months you get to see him in your child’s eyes every day Jade. You can grieve for a while, but after that for your child — you need to celebrate Tommy’s life every day. By the way… it’s a boy.” She smiled and cried as she hugged Jade. “I love you Jade, and I know you’re going to be fine. The three of us,” she said rubbing her belly “are going to be better than fine, we’re going to be great.” They left to go to Tommy’s house. Tessa drove Jade, and they held hands the whole way, except, of course, when she had to shift. They walked in, and Alex, Lucas, and Ryan were already there. Tessa had made a fruit and vegetable platter with dips and bread. Lucas shook his head when he saw her carrying in food. She ignored him knowing he was hurting, and if he needed to lash out at her then, she would let him. The family viewing would be on Wednesday night at seven, the calling hours would be from one to four in the afternoon and six to nine that evening. The funeral was at the church on Friday morning. They
asked Ryan, Alex, and Lucas to be pallbearers along with three of Tommy’s relatives. They were going to find someone to sing. “Tessa sings and Ryan’s sister plays piano. I’m sure they could do it,” Tessa looked at the floor and swallowed hard. “Tessa, would you?” Tommy’s mother asked. “Sure I will, could you tell me what song,” she asked. “Do you have any suggestions?” “I will get a list for you and drop it off tomorrow if that’s okay?” Tessa smiled sympathetically. Before Tessa and Jade left, Tessa looked towards the family room and saw Lucas looking through pictures with Tommy’s sisters. He looked alright. She needed him to be alright. *** Jade woke every three hours again, and Tessa got up with her. Jade had already missed Monday and would be missing Thursday and Friday, so they decided to go to school. Tessa talked her into it. They walked into school together, and Alex and Lucas stood at their lockers, they were surrounded by cheerleaders and ball players. Tessa looked at them as she walked by holding Jade’s hand. They sat at lunch together. Lucas looked at the table the whole time and as soon as the bell rang he shot out the door. Tessa walked after him and grabbed his hand, “Lucas how are you?” “I’m fine Tessa. How’s Jade?” Lucas asked in a very cool tone. “She’s going to be okay. She wakes up every three hours having horrible dreams,” Tessa said looking down. “You’re staying with her?” “Of course.” “Good.” “Are you okay?” Tessa asked. “I told you, I’m fine Tessa,” he started to walk away. She grabbed his arm, “Hey Lucas,” she hugged him. He stood motionless, and she looked up at him, “I’m so sorry.” “Tessa… I know.” “Lucas don’t push me away… We’re friends.” “No Tessa, we’re not,” he looked down into her wounded eyes. “We can’t be. I understand that now. You need to do the same.” Her eyes filled up, “Okay I’m sorry.” Tessa let go and stepped back and Lucas walked away. She walked into the locker room. She looked at her phone, she had a message from her mother and Ben, both just checking to see how she was, and she replied to both that things were fine. That night Tessa went to play practice. She walked out into the night air and stared up at the sky. She stood there and just breathed. She thought of everything that had gone on since September. Seven months, over half a year of her life, had been hell. And for the next seven months she had to keep it together, for Jade. She had only a few hours of sleep a night and was exhausted. She was so sick of crying and so sick of trying to please him, to no avail. Tessa got in the Jeep and drove home to grab some clothes. He father was there with the kids. She walked in and hugged them “I miss you,” she kissed them and went upstairs and threw some stuff in her bag and headed out the door. Tessa pulled into Jade's, and Lucas’ SUV was in the driveway. She sat in the Jeep for a few minutes and finally got out, took a deep breath and walked in. He and Jade were sitting with Ryan, Becca, and Phoebe at the table. She walked in and said hi and kissed Jade’s head and walked by. She went in and sat
at the coffee table and took her homework out and started it. She heard them talk and once in a while laugh. She finished her chemistry and started reading. She fell asleep curled in a blanket in a chair with her book on her knees. She woke up to Jade’s screams and ran in. She woke her up and lay with her. She saw the books on her nightstand, the one’s she had given Lucas. She lay down and fell asleep with Jade. She went to school and sat with them at lunch and read her lines as she ate an apple. “Tessa, your play, is this week.” “Yep, starts tomorrow night. So I won’t be able to be at the evening calling hours Jade, I’m sorry,” Tessa said apologetically. “Oh, Tessa you haven’t slept. You have to go home tonight.” “No, I don’t I’ll be fine,” Tessa said and to avoid the argument she got up and left. The dress rehearsal was a success. When she got to Jade’s, they were all there again. The family viewing had been that night, and she was sure it was a rough night for Jade. She walked in, and they all sat in the living room. “Hello everyone.” “Hello Tessa,” they all said, except for Lucas, he just looked at the floor. Tessa wondered if he was intentionally trying to avoid eye contact or if he was really falling apart. She wondered if his mother was alright and if he had talked to Audrianna and his father. Tessa realized she was staring at him and looked around; everyone else seemed to notice it too. She walked into the bathroom and wanted to scream. She washed off the rest of the makeup and brushed her teeth. “Are you alright in there?” Phoebe tapped on the door. “Yep, I will be out in a minute,” Tessa answered as she tried to pull it together. Tessa came out and sat on the floor. She grabbed a blanket and grabbed her book. Within minutes, she was asleep. “Is she okay Jade?” Phoebe asked. “I think so, I’m not sure,” Jade replied. Phoebe went over and felt her head. “She’s warm. Hey, Tessa wake up,” Phoebe shook her a bit. Tessa shook her head no. Jade went and grabbed a thermometer and stuck it in her ear. Tessa woke up, “What was that for,” Tessa asked holding her ear. “You have a fever Tessa,” Phoebe said. “I’m fine,” Tessa said and stood up. She was embarrassed. She walked into Jade’s room and made a bed on the floor and laid down. Phoebe walked in and gave her Tylenol and a cup of water. “Tessa just take these, please.” She did and fell asleep on the floor. She woke to Jade’s screams and woke her up and talked until she fell asleep. It happened more that night. Tessa knew it was because of the viewing. *** Today the drama club was putting on a scene in front of the school, it went well. She could see Lucas from where she stood as she sang. He looked right through her. After school Tessa went to Jade’s and for once helped her get ready. Jade wore black dress pants and a button up shirt and Tessa wore a black tank dress with a gray waist length cardigan. Both wore their hair down and straight and light makeup. At three o’clock, they left and held hands as they walked into the funeral home. Tommy’s family sat and cried. “Jade I’ll be in the back if you need me.”
She went down the line of chairs and hugged each one and gave her condolences. She came to Lucas and looked at him and took a deep breath and hugged him. “Lucas I’m very sorry.” Lucas returned her hug and said “Thank You.” His cheek touched hers, “Tessa you’re very warm come with me.” *** Lucas grabbed her hand and walked outside and opened his SUV door. He told her to get in. He drove to the pharmacy and got out. “I will be right back.” He returned with some sort of thermometer, Tylenol, and water. He opened the package and read the instructions; he ran it across her forehead and read it. “You have a 101 temperature, take these,” Lucas handed her two Tylenol and opened a water bottle and handed it to her. He pulled out of the pharmacy and turned left. “Lucas you’re going the wrong way.” “No Tessa, you are going home.” “No Lucas, I need to be there for Jade.” “You have been, and now you’re sick, someone else can stay with her tonight.” “Lucas, please turn around. I’m not going home.” Lucas pulled into her driveway and reached across her and opened the door. “Out Tessa now,” she looked at him confused, “Now damn it!” She got out and went inside and cried. She sent a text to Cassidy - hey Cassidy could you pick me up before the play? I’m without a vehicle... T - of course… C Tessa grabbed some chicken bouillon and heated water; she drank it and felt better. She ate a couple crackers and went and started a load of laundry. She lay on the couch and snuggled with Chewy and fell asleep. Her phone alarm went off, and she jumped up. She made a thermos full of hot water with bullion. She brushed her teeth and grabbed the Tylenol and put it in her bag. *** The play was going great; at intermission she took more Tylenol and drank her hot water. They received a standing ovation in the end. She went backstage and was putting her gown back into the dressing room. “Hey, hot stuff,” she heard Tessa turned around. “Ben,” she yelled and hugged him. He gave her a dozen roses. “You were amazing,” Ben kissed her, “You’re hot.” “Why thank you,” she smiled. “You’re not so bad yourself, and the flowers Ben are gorgeous.” Ben laughed, and she hugged him, “Tessa — you feel very warm.” “Yeah, I think I’m sick,” Tessa said, “But the show must go on.” “Hey Cassidy? Can you take a picture of Tess and I with my phone, please? Thanks,” he smiled his dazzling smile.
“Okay girl… how’re you doing?” “Honestly — I’m horrible,” she laughed. “This is the first time I have smiled since we got pulled over,” they both laughed. “Well, what have you been up to?” She told him everything, even about Lucas and how he was acting and how it made her feel. Ben hugged her. “Tessa, you’re grieving and so are they. I’m here when you need me. I hate to do this, but I have to go. I have a game tomorrow, and if I go now I’ll be home by 2,” Ben kissed her and hugged her. “Please let me know when you get there and please Ben… drive safely.” *** Cassidy dropped her off to get her Jeep, Toby’s Jeep. She started to get in. “Tessa what are you doing?” Lucas asked scowling. “Getting the Jeep.” “Why?” he demanded. “So I could get to Jade’s.” “Becca is staying with her tonight,” Lucas told her. “Well, so am I,” she shot back at him. “You’re sick and are going home.” “You don’t get to tell me what to do Lucas,” he voice broke and she cleared her throat. She got in the Jeep and went to start it; he reached in and pulled the keys out. “Where have you been tonight?” he asked when he saw the makeup. “Our play started tonight, that’s where I was. I was on stage and singing and pretending I was someone else for two hours. Now please give me back my keys.” “Who are the flowers from Tessa?” Lucas asked scowling. “Ben, he came to see the play tonight.” He opened the door and took her by the arm and brought her to his vehicle and pushed her in the seat. He drove to her house and reached across her and opened the door. “Go inside Tessa!” “Fuck you Lucas,” she yelled. She got out and started walking down the road. He pulled up beside her and got out and grabbed her arm and shoved her in the car. “No, fuck you Tessa. You get in that fucking house and go to bed!” She wiped the tears from her face, “You’re scaring me.” “Good,” Lucas pulled in. “Now get the fuck out.” She ran inside and locked the door. She text Jade and Phoebe and asked if everything was alright. They responded and told her they were good and hoped she felt better for tomorrow. The funeral, she was singing. She lay down and cried herself to sleep. She woke up, and Alex and Lucas were standing over her. She pulled the blanket over her head. “Tessa are you feeling alright?” Alex asked. Tessa took a deep breath and coughed, her throat was on fire. She stood up and shook her head yes. She ran down the stairs and warmed up water and mixed some salt into it. She gargled and spit. She turned around, and they were standing there. Both wore suits and ties and looked very handsome. She turned on the teapot to heat some water. She grabbed a lemon out of the fridge and sliced a big chunk and put it in her mouth and bit down. She made a nasty face and jumped around a little. Alex laughed, and Lucas bit his cheek so he would not smile. She looked down and realized she was in underwear and a
tank top. Her face turned red as she walked into the bathroom. She showered and brushed her teeth. She washed her face and wrapped a towel around herself and ran up the stairs and dressed. She came down in the knee length gray dress and black cardigan. She dried her hair and went out to the kitchen. There was a cup of hot tea on the table. “You ready?” “Tessa are you feeling okay?” Alex asked. “I’m fine.” They all got into Lucas’s vehicle and drove to the church. Alex saw his parents and walked over to them. Tessa watched Lucas put on sunglasses and grab Visine out of the glove box. “Tessa are you sure you’re going to be able to do this?” Lucas asked. “I said I’m fine,” she got out. She wanted to yell at him after his stunt yesterday. But knew now was not the time. Within an hour, the church was packed with people. Many were kids from their old school. Tessa sat with Jade, who was sitting quietly and holding her hand. “You alright Jade? Do you need anything?” “I need this nightmare to be over. I need him to wake up,” Jade said, and a tear fell. Lucas sat on the other side of Jade and didn’t move. His eyes were fixed on the box that his friend lay in. Several people came up to him and patted his shoulder and he just sat there. Frozen. The service was more of a celebration of Tommy. The minister talked about him and had known him for six years. Tessa sang perfectly the song his mother had chosen, Blessings, one of her favorites. At the end, she led Amazing Grace. They rode with Lucas to the cemetery, and he didn’t say a word. When they concluded, everyone was to go back to the church. A meal was prepared by Tommy’s mother’s church group. Audrianna came up to Tessa and hugged her, “You have an amazing voice Tessa.” “Thank you.” “How are you all holding up?” “I’m worried about Lucas,” tears formed in her eyes. Audri hugged her, and she hugged her back. “We are too Tessa, and we know what you have been through, and he feels….” “Audri you remember Mrs. Ross?” Lucas asked standing with Tessa’s mother. “Of course, I do,” she said. “How are you doing?” They chatted, and Lucas took Tessa’s hand and walked her down the hall. “Your mother is going to take you to the doctors,” Lucas said firmly. “No, Lucas I’m staying here,” she said softly. “I need to be here for you and Jade.” “Jade is fine and I don’t need you. You’re leaving with your mother.” She looked at him for a long time, “I’m so sorry you feel that way, I’m so sorry you hate me.” Tessa walked away and went and sat with Jade. He watched as her mother walked up to Tessa and then they walked out. He could breathe without her in the room. *** “Mom I’m fine,” she said as they walked to the car. “Okay let’s just go see,” Maggie saw that see was upset and exhausted. She was glad that Lucas had told her about Tessa not feeling well. They went to the doctor, and Tessa had pneumonia. She was put on an antibiotic and given a prescription for a nebulizer. She was told she needed to rest. When they got to the car, Tessa looked at her mother. “I have the play tonight and tomorrow night, I’m not missing it.”
“Promise me you’ll rest and do the treatments, and I’ll not make you stay home,” Maggie said knowing Tessa wouldn’t stay home even if she told her she had to. Maggie went into the pharmacy to pick up the necessities, and her phone chimed. - Mrs. Ross how is Tessa?... Lucas. Seriously? He was texting her Mom! She thought. - What does it matter to you? - I apologize; I hope she is okay... Lucas. - No you don’t, you just enjoy treating me like shit - Tessa?... Lucas - You don’t need me so I would appreciate you butting out of my business… Tessa - Fine… Lucas - Good! I’m so sorry about Tommy Lucas, I really am. - I know how much you loved him… Tessa *** Maggie pulled into the farm, and they went inside. Tessa did a treatment and took her medicine. She was tired and angry. She went upstairs and went to sleep. Her alarm went off, and she got up and got ready. Her family was in the audience. Again the cast did a great job. After the play, she went home and made broth and was doing her treatment when Alex and the boys walked in. “You’re fine huh?” Lucas snapped as he walked by. She gave him a dirty look. Jade, Phoebe, and Becca pulled in. Phoebe was driving the Jeep. They jumped out and walked in the house. “Hey Tessa, we brought back the Jeep,” Phoebe said as she walked in. “Wow, what’s up with you?” “I have pneumonia,” she said talking with the mouthpiece in. “Yep… sounds like you’re fine,” Lucas snapped as he walked past her and went out with Alex and Ryan to the hot tub. “Can you go out with us?” Jade asked. She pointed at the nebulizer and held up a finger, she would be out in a minute. She finished and cleaned up the machine. She went upstairs and found a bathing suit that she had not worn in front of him before, it was much smaller than most of hers. She put it on and smiled. Maybe he’ll be nice to me now. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked out. She took the towel off and laid it over a chair; she bent over and took off her shoes. She sat next to Jade, “Sorry I had to leave so early today.” “Oh, Tessa you were sick. I understand.” “I was fine,” she glared at Lucas. He rolled his eyes at her. They all were very quiet. “So I’m going to be staying here for the week Tessa. My Dad has to go out of town, won’t that be fun?” Jade smiled. “Really?” Tessa asked Jade shook her head, “Great!”
“Tomorrow night I want to go to your play,” Jade looked around, “We should all go.” “Why are you still doing the play if you’re sick?” Lucas said annoyed. She looked at him, “Because I can.” “Does your mother know?” Lucas growled. “I don’t know maybe you should text her,” Tessa shot back at him. “Mom knows not to argue with her Lucas, remember Tessa, the Terrible?” Alex asked laughing. Tessa looked at Alex and smirked, “I don’t think he has met her yet, he may soon.” “No, he doesn't want to,” Jade laughed. “I’m pretty sure I already have,” Lucas snapped. Her phone rang, she jumped up and got it. It was Ben. “Hey, Ben how was your game?... It went alright. Thanks again for coming last night…. I’m glad…. okay… Well, thank you… I know… well if I don’t see you for a while I know I will in November. ..I’ll miss your face Ben.” she forced a laugh, “Have a great time. Thank you so much for everything… Absolutely!” she hung up and turned around, everyone was looking at her. Tessa got back in. “Everything okay Tessa?” Jade asked. “Yep,” she smiled. “I thought things were going well.” “We’ve always been buds; we don’t want to ruin it.” “But Tessa you,” Jade remembered Lucas was there. “Okay.” Tessa stayed in for a few minutes and got out. She went in and showered off and threw on shorts and a tank top. She turned on the TV and grabbed the computer. She logged on Facebook. She was tagged in a video by Ben, check out our new song. He was singing with his band and looked so damn cute. It was Shimmer by the band Fuel. She watched it four times. She replied, Great Song Ben, I still miss your face!!! What the hell is wrong with you she asked herself? She cried and set the laptop down, and finally fell asleep, confused, sad, and not feeling well. They all walked in, and she lie curled up in a ball sleeping. Jade and Phoebe picked up the computer and looked at it and played the video. “He is so damn cute,” Jade said, “and he adores her Phoebe, what is she doing?” Phoebe smiled, “Grieving and he is letting her. You never know what will happen.” *** Tessa woke in the morning and looked at the clock. It was eleven, she jumped up and went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She walked out and grabbed her medicine and nebulizer. She took her temperature, 98.6. She smiled. She texted Jade - where are you? - at Tommy’s with his Mom, I think I will be staying tonight here tonight are you okay with that?… J - of course Jade if that’s where you need to be that’s where you should be… Tessa Alright then how do I occupy myself tonight? She smiled and sent a text to Cassidy. - feeling better need to hang out with you all tonight, party after at the camp?...
Tessa - sounds awesome… Cassidy Her first scene she walked onstage and eventually she saw the first row; Jade, Phoebe, Becca, Ryan, Alex, and Lucas. Why was he here? She sang Don’t Cry For Me Argentina and saw Jade tearing up. She looked at Lucas, and he was staring at her, she closed her eyes and made her way to center stage where she closed her eyes again and sang. At the end of the song, a tear ran down her cheek. “That was amazing Tessa,” the director hugged her. Tessa walked in the dressing room, and the cast all hugged and cheered. That was it, the last performance. She gave them all directions and they would meet there in an hour. She walked out and her friends all stood waiting in the hall. “Tessa, you looked and sounded beautiful,” Jade hugged her. “Oh, it was nothing,” she laughed. It absolutely was, all the stuff she had gone through since the beginning, it was exhausting. They all hugged her and congratulated her, except Lucas. “Good job, these are from all of us,” he handed her flowers, yellow roses, and white daisies. “Thanks, they…” Lucas turned and walked away. “He hates me,” she said and immediately realized she had said it out loud. Jade laughed, “No he doesn’t silly, he wants you to be happy.” “Oh, I see that by his actions over the past oh let’s see since I met him,” Tessa laughed. Jade laughed as if she knew more. “I’ll see you at church in the morning, right?” “I’m not sure I’m going, but I really want to hang out tomorrow, and since we’ll be roomies… I think we can figure it out,” Tessa rubbed Jade’s belly and whispered, “Love you.” Tessa went to camp and was ready to get lost. Cassidy was staying sober to drive. Tessa however did not…not at all; she was drinking wine and smoking. They laughed and talked as they played drinking games that Tessa had never even heard of. They had polished off the drinks and most of the weed and were cleaning up when her phone rang. She looked at the ID and it was him.
CHAPTER TEN “Hello,” she said. There was no one on the other end. Tessa tried calling him back, and no one answered. She was started to get worried. She texted him, - Is everything okay?… Tessa - No, sorry I shouldn’t have called, never mind… Lucas - where are you?... Tessa - Home I’m fine leave it alone… Lucas Everyone was starting to leave camp. “Cassidy can you give me a ride?” she asked. Cassidy dropped Tessa off at Lucas’s and told her to call if she needed a ride home. Lucas’s mom’s car wasn’t there. Lucas’s bedroom light was on, very dim but on. Tessa tried the door, it was open. She walked in and went upstairs. She knocked on the door, no one answered. She opened it hoping she wouldn’t see him in bed with anyone. He looked at her. “What are you doing here Tessa?” he said softly as he looked at her, “You’re loaded, how the hell did you get here?” “I hitchhiked. You should talk your room smells like a freaking bong,” Tessa giggled. “Where’s your Mom?” “Not here,” he said. “Tessa I’m calling Alex to come get you.” She laughed “I don’t think so, I’ll call Cassidy after you tell me why you called me.” “Did you fuck Ben?” “Not really your business, but no,” she said, “Did you sleep with that girl from the club?” “Not your business but no,” Lucas said mocking her. She scowled at him. “How about the girl from lunch the other day?” “No Tessa,” he said, “You need to leave.” “Why do you hate me?” “Because I have to.” “Why can’t we be friends?” “Tessa could you really see us as friends?” he asked and laughed at her. “Why did you take Sadi’s side over mine when she pulled out my hair Lucas?” she said loudly. “Because I needed you to leave.” “Why did you try to get me into bed with those two girls Lucas?” she yelled. “Because I knew you’d leave.” “Did you sleep with them?” He looked at her, “No… they left right after you did.” “Why did you make me come home the night of the calling hours and throw me into your car and talk to me like I was a piece of dirt?” she asked, “And call my Mom yesterday?” “Because you were sick and needed help and you don’t fucking listen to me like now, you need to go home Tessa!” “Answer a couple more questions Lucas and then I will,” she screamed back at him. “I don’t want to, and you’re acting like one of the twelve right now so get the fuck out of my house.”
She stood there and looked at him; she couldn’t hide the shock and disappointment in her eyes. “Right there Tessa that look, I can’t stand it, you’re disappointment and pity drives me right over the fucking edge,” Lucas yelled at her and stood up. “I don’t pity you Lucas!” “Oh, that’s right I’m an embarrassment like you told your friend Cassidy! Yeah, that was fucking sweet one of my favorite memories of our time together,” Lucas grabbed her arm. “You are leaving.” She pulled away from him and looked scared. “I didn’t want people to know about Toby or about what you had gone through Lucas. I didn’t want you or I too feel like we were being judged by people you asshole- — and don’t fucking grab me it hurts.” He released her arm and his eyes widened. “Damn it Tessa, I’ve hurt you and you’ve fucked me up too, I’m begging you, please leave,” he sat on his bed. Tessa walked into the bathroom to gain distance. She texted Cassidy and walked back out and sat down on the foot of the bed. “Get the fuck off my bed Tessa,” his voice warning her. “I texted Cassidy she will be here soon, okay?” Tessa snapped. “Perfect, the sooner you’re out of here, the better,” Lucas snapped back. “I wish, I wish you didn’t hate me,” she walked out and texted Cassidy as she sat in his driveway and cried. He watched out the window as she got in the car. “Take me somewhere far away, I want to fucking disappear. Take me to my aunt’s bar.” Tessa walked in and saw Karaoke Joe. She hugged her Aunt, “This place needs a boost?” “Hey Tessa, only if you eat something first, you’re a mess girl,” Josie said. She and Cassidy ate a slice of pizza. She was busting to sing, and she saw Lucas and Ryan. “I need to leave,” she whispered to Cassidy. They started leaving, and Lucas walked up to her, “We’re going to take her home, Cassidy.” “No,” Tessa walked out the door. “Tessa, come with us,” Ryan said, “Please,” he hugged her and wiped her tears. “Why Ryan? He said enough tonight.” “No, he hasn’t, come on,” he opened the door, and she got in the back. “Thanks, Cassidy.” They drove to Lucas’s house, and Ryan got out and walked inside. “Can we finish our conversation?” “We did,” she responded sarcastically. “No baby we didn’t,” Lucas opened the door for her, “Give me ten minutes and if you want to leave, Ryan can take you home.” She followed him inside and up the stairs. “I hate your room,” she sat on the floor. “I’m sorry,” he said and sat next to her. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” “Home,” she looked down, “I don’t feel all that well.” “Tessa I’m sorry, about all this shit,” Lucas said, “All of it, do you understand? I needed you to hate me so you could move on. Will you fucking look at me?” “No…,” she said quietly. He moved in front of her, “Knee to knee Tessa and look at me,” he lifted her chin, and her eyes raised and met his “Tessa, I love you. I’ve tried not to, but I need for all this shit to go away. I was escaping it all just fine and...,” “Then you called me and hung up,” Tessa whispered. “You love me?” “Damn it yes Tessa, I do! I never stopped. I wish none of this had happened, and I wish I could turn back time and all that shit, but I don’t expect you to forgive it!”
“You haven’t acted like you love me Lucas,” she whispered and looked down. “I never stopped. I wanted better for you. I needed you to hate me, Tessa. I wanted you to stay away,” Lucas whispered. “Do you want me to stay away?” He didn’t answer her; he just shook his head no as he stared at her. “I don’t know what to do,” she cried. Lucas looked at her and cupped her chin in his hands as he stroked her lip with his thumb. “I don’t know either. How do I fix this, how do we move forward? I don’t know the answers, but we can figure it out together if you want. I do know I love you, ever since the pond that hasn’t changed” Lucas kissed her. “Positive?” she asked breathing harder, he shook his head yes. She kissed him slowly as he looked at her. He tasted so good, and she didn’t want to stop. He pulled back and looked at her, “Baby we are both fucked up,” he said in a husky strained voice, “It’s been a very long time since I’ve touched you.” “Please Lucas, tell me you won’t hurt me, I love you so much.” “I could never hurt you… again, I love you.” “You’re sure? I can’t do this again unless…” Tessa began. “Forever,” he said, his eyes taking her in. “Do you need to ask me anything?” she kissed him. “Will you marry me,” he asked breathing very heavy. She smiled, “I think you’re skipping a few steps.” “Tessa Ross will you be my girlfriend, again?” he said closing his eyes and smiled. “I have missed that smile so much,” she tried to kiss him. He pulled back, “You didn’t answer my question… and I’m not that kind of guy.” “Okay, we have a lot to talk about,” Tessa looked down and smiled. “I know. We have a lot of time, no rush,” he hugged her. “Oh,” she said. “What does Oh mean?” he asked sitting back. She looked at him and felt her face flush, he smiled. “I… have you slept with anyone?” she asked. Lucas shook his head no. “So there won’t be anyone popping up in a few weeks saying they're pregnant?” she asked. “No Tessa,” he looked down. Tessa saw his eyes and he looked hurt. She had not meant for that to happen. She took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head and looked at him as he lifted his arms. She pulled hers off next, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I want you, all of you…” she began. “You’re sure?” he asked softly and kissed her neck. “Yes, I love you.” He fumbled trying to unclasp her bra as he kissed her throat and moved to the other side of her neck kissing gently. He was still trying to unhook her bra, and he laughed. “This is embarrassing, not as smooth as I wanted to appear,” he kissed her quickly on the nose. Tessa laughed and felt her stomach churn. “Uh oh,” she stood and ran past him into the bathroom. He followed her in and held her hair back, “Sorry…” Lucas handed her his toothbrush, and she washed her face. Tessa looked in the mirror at herself. Her eyes filled with tears, as she covered herself.
“Tessa, come here,” Lucas grabbed a towel off the towel bar. “Lucas I’m so sorry I just,” she began. “I’m in no hurry Tessa, just, come on let’s get you a shirt” Lucas laughed, “I cannot believe I just said that.” “Sorry, I want it to be right. I want me back Lucas. Everything has been…” she cried. “Tessa, I love you. I’m in no hurry. It’s been over four months, but I’m in no hurry. Not with you,” he smiled and shook his head in disbelief. “You’re alright with this?” Tessa asked softly. Lucas smiled, “Whatever it takes for us to work Tessa, look at me baby. I. Love. You!” Lucas kissed her gently on the head and walked into his closet and grabbed a tee shirt and sweatpants. “Stay with me tonight, just please, just stay,” Lucas sat the clothes next to her and walked into the bathroom. Tessa looked at the clothes and cried. She heard the shower running as she dressed. Lucas stepped out of the shower and dried his hair. He brushed his teeth and took a deep breath. He opened the door, and Tessa was curled in a ball, her knees tucked into the tee shirt he left for her. She was asleep in the middle of his bed. Her mascara was smudged beneath her eyes, evidence that she had been crying. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his damp hair and stood watching her. He pulled the covers up around her and stood, still watching her. He contemplated sleeping on the floor, that way she would know that she meant more to him than he assumed he had led her to believe he did. He paced the floor in frustration still watching her. “Fuck it,” he grumbled as he climbed in his bed and pulled her into his arms. He took a deep breath smelling her hair, he kissed her cheek tasting her and his hands gently caressed her back feeling her. She was his and he would make sure she never doubted that again. He would not let even a day pass without telling her and showing her how much he loved her. There would be no one else for her ever and no one else for him. Tessa woke to Lucas’s arms wrapped tightly around her and his leg across her body. She nuzzled her nose into his neck and felt his breath on her cheek. She lightly kissed his shoulder, and she felt his smile spread across his lips before he kissed her head. He lifted her chin and kissed her lips lightly. “Good morning, baby,” he smiled. “Good morning,” Tessa smiled back. “You hungry?” “No,” she said softly. “You hung over?” She closed her eyes and shook her head yes. They lay there for a few moments, her eyes closed as he watched her. Lucas got up and grabbed two glasses of water and set them on the nightstand. “I brought you a drink,” he squatting next to the bed, “I think it would help.” “I need to go home…” Tessa began. “I talked to Alex, you’re all set. But if you want to, I can take you,” Lucas said, his voice gave evidence that he was confused. “Okay,” Tessa sat up and took the water and drank it. She looked at Lucas, who looked uncomfortably anxious. Tessa smiled, “Are you alright?” He shook his head, “I will be… I just can’t screw this up again, I don’t want to do or say the wrong thing Tessa, and I….” “Lucas,” she hugged him. “Do you remember our conversation last night?” he whispered against her cheek.
“Yes, you asked me to marry you,” Tessa answered. He didn’t respond. “Are you second guessing yourself Lucas?” Tessa whispered. “No, but…” he started. “But what Lucas?” Tessa asked as she sat up and moved away from him, “Forget it — I’d like to go home.” “Tessa, would you stop and listen, damn it…” Lucas sat next to her. “I shouldn’t have come here last night, I should have …” Lucas kissed her to stop her from talking. “I’m scared baby, I don’t know what to expect from you. You had a relationship with Toby and Ben, and I don’t want to get hurt. You have crushed me…” he said softly. “Have I now?” Tessa asked standing up. “Wait just a second…” Lucas said grabbing her. “No, you wait! You really… uuurrrggg… you’re an idiot!” Tessa pulled away and walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. She showered and brushed her teeth and cried. She walked out into his room and grabbed her pants and pulled them on. “Take me home please,” she said quietly. “Fine!” he snapped and stood up and walked into the bathroom and showered and dressed. “So this is it?” he asked as he pulled his pants on. “Well, how on earth could I expect you to get past all that, what a piece of…” Tessa yelled. “Fuck you Tessa,” Lucas yelled back, “Do you even have a fucking clue as to what I’ve done for you? I put you first. The last few months have been hell. You know what? Forget it, let's go…” he said and grabbed a shirt off a hanger. “Lucas I…please don’t be sad. Please don’t be sad,” Tessa grabbed him and hugged him tightly. “Stop,” he pulled back from her embrace. She didn’t let go, “No, I’m scared too Lucas. I can’t lose you ever again. Not you…” They both held each other tightly. Tessa rubbed his back as he nuzzled his wet face against hers and she pulled away and looked at him. “I’m sorry for making you upset. I don’t want to see you upset, it hurts here?” Lucas closed his eyes and put his hand over hers as it lay above his heart. “It has hurt like hell for months,” he said softly. She pulled her hand away and kissed his chest softly, and he breathed out. “Is that better?” “Each time you kiss me it gets better,” he pulled her into his arms, “We can’t fight anymore. It’s all or nothing Tessa. I just need to know now. We can’t keep doing this to each other.” “I know,” she pulled back; “it hurts me too.” “What can I do so you’ll believe me Tessa? Just tell me what to do?” he pleaded. “Well, it hurts here,” she said quietly and put his hand on her chest. He looked in her eyes, “Baby? Tell me we are going to be alright.” “I’ll give it one hundred percent, nothing less, as long as you do the same,” she whispered. He lifted his hand and kissed her chest gently, “Me too, baby.” “Lucas,” she whispered. “Tessa we have time,” he pulled her tightly against him. “I want it all with you,” she kissed his chest. “We can wait,” his voice shook. “Can we?” “Uh huh…” he kissed her.
His hand moved down and rested on the small of her back. “Let’s slow this down, wait until graduation maybe?” he pulled back. “NO.” “Okay shhh,” he whispered and held her tightly against him. “Sorry, I just can’t.” “I get it, we’ve held this off long enough haven’t we?” he asked lightly kissing her neck. “Yes,” she moaned as he moved his lips to her shoulder blade. “When then baby?” he asked softly moving up her neck again. Tessa moved her hands around his waist and held on to him and pulled her head back and looked up at him. He looked down at her and smiled. “We can wait…” he started, and she moved her hands around his neck and he felt her hands shake, and she swallowed hard and shook her head no. He cocked his head to the side and looked at her, “You’re shaking.” She shook her head yes and kept her eyes on his. Her breaths began to come faster, and he closed his eyes and leaned down and kissed her forehead causing her to let out a quick breath. “You need to be sure you want this with me, Tessa.” “It’s always been you, always Lucas,” her voice broke, and she felt tears fall down her face. “Tessa,” he breathed out and kissed her mouth hard. She tightened her grip and jumped pulling her legs around his waist and pulled his face closer to hers. “I. Love. You.” “I love you baby, you’re going to need to tell me to stop if you change your mind alright?” his voice was strained and his breath hot against her mouth. “I. Want. You,” she leaned her head back to give him more of her neck, “Only you, Lucas.” He gently laid her on his bed. Lucas lay beside her and kissed her, and his hands caressed her breast, she moaned and kissed him harder. He moved his hand down her body. “Are you sure?” “Yes Lucas. I’m very sure” he touched her gently, and she held her breath. His finger moved inside her, and she breathed out and moaned. He watched her face react to his every move and took her breast into his mouth. “Lucas,” she whispered through her shallow breaths. “Baby we’re going to do this slow, I don’t want to hurt you,” he said and kissed her. His mouth moved down her body, he kissed her belly and then went lower, he kissed her there, as his tongue gently caressed her Tessa quivered as his tongue split her open, going deeper. Her knees tensed and he wrapped his lips around her damp sex and sucked gently. She moaned as his tongue plunged deeper. “Damn,” he groaned and rubbed his nose across her hardening tender spot. “Oh my God,” she whimpered. Lucas ran his finger up and down her as he watched his fingers intently. He licked her harder and deeper ravaging her. He slowed and tugged at her with his teeth, and she screamed out. He did it again and again until she felt that her body was on fire and about to blow up. Not the explosions or electrical pulsing feelings he had made her feel before but a completely over the top feeling. Lucas started to move away, and she grabbed him, he smiled softly, “Condom baby.” His hand never left her body, caressing and touching as her heart began to beat faster, “Lucas,” she moaned. “We’re going to go slow, okay baby? I don’t want you to hate this,” he kissed her cheek. She giggled, and he looked at her, “Tessa?” “I’m pretty sure… oh God,” she pushed into his hand. He lowered himself over her body and kissed her belly, “You sure?”
“Yes damn it!” she snapped feeling the burning in her belly again, knowing it was a prelude to the sensation she so greatly desired. He opened his nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom and tore it open. She raised herself to her elbows and watched him intently as he slid the condom over himself. He looked at her and smiled. “What?” Lucas chuckled, “Always so curious.” She smiled and lay back down. He kissed her and moved so that he was lying between her legs. He kissed down her stomach and looked up at her and winked. She giggled, and his eyes left hers and he began using his mouth on her. “Oh my…” she moaned. He bit and kissed and sucked and licked her body until she couldn’t stay still. Her hands were in his hair, and her hips met his mouth until she yelled out over and over again. Lucas kissed his way up to her neck. He pushed gently into her and let out a low guttural sound, “Baby you are so hot… so tight.” He continued watching her face, and she bit her lip to stifle the look of pain she knew was coming. His fingers circled her sweet spot, and she let out a silky groan. “Tessa?” he was asking permission. “Lucas I want you, I love you,” Tessa whispered and squeezed his ass lightly. He watched her face as he pushed into her harder. Tessa screamed out in pain. “Sorry Baby, I’m sorry,” he slowly moved in and out of her. She began breathing deeply and feeling more pleasure. “Oh Lucas,” she whispered and began to meet his hips with hers. “We still good baby?” he took her breast in his mouth. “Oh, yes,” she moaned. He moved faster and a little harder. He pulled her up and she was now sitting on him. She was moving up and down on him fast as he watched her firm breasts bounce. “Does this hurt?” he kissed her throat. “Yes” she gasped, “But I don’t want to stop.” He smiled and laid her back down. He continued slowly. “Lucas… amazing,” she cried out. He moved faster and harder, her breast in his mouth as he tugged at her nipples with his teeth and used his other hand to squeeze her other breast, her nails dug into his back. He moaned loudly, and she said his name over and over again. Each time she said his name he slammed into her a little harder, and she felt her body begin to quake. He slowed down and watched her and knew she was right there; ready to come, with him deep inside her. “Tell me what it feels like baby,” kissed her harder. She couldn’t talk; she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “Like, oh Lucas” she tried to explain and couldn’t. He smiled, “My turn,” he moved fast and hard and finally he stopped and groaned, “Baby I love you.” Lucas pulled her on top of him and pulled out and she moaned. He reached over to toss the condom in the garbage. He looked at the sheets now stained red and jumped up, he walked in the bathroom and grabbed some tissues and came out. “Are you okay?” “I’m okay,” she sat up and felt pain below “Ouch,” she whimpered. “God Tessa I’m sorry, this should have never happened, I hurt you.” “If it didn’t hurt it would be happening again right now,” she blushed.
“I love you.” “You better,” she laughed and looked at him, he looked hurt. “I love you Lucas I need a shower.” He got up and started the shower, he helped her up. She looked down and saw the blood on the bed, she was shocked and embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she blushed and started to wipe the sheets with a tissue. “I got this, go get in the shower. I’ll meet you in a minute,” he kissed her quickly and smiled. “You’re going to shower with me?” “Oh, if it’s alright with you?” She smiled, “Yes, I would love that I just don’t think I can, well. It hurts.” Tessa stuck out her bottom lip. “Okay, we won’t but I can shower with you still, right?” he kissed her again. She looked down and shook her head yes. Lucas stripped the bed and then got in the shower. He washed her hair, and she washed her new friend very well. They kissed, and he washed her breasts and bit them. She asked him to sit, and he did. She tried to sit on him and realized rather quickly that it wasn’t a good idea. He smiled at her. “You’re relentless, Tessa.” As he was seated, she knelt before him and wrapped her hand around his throbbing erection. She slowly stroked him up and down. She bowed her head and ran her tongue across his head. “Fuck…” he hissed, taking her head in his hand, guiding her down again. She opened her mouth, taking him as far as she could. “That’s it, baby,” he said as he guided her head on his thick, throbbing cock. Basking in his praise, Tessa moved up and down faster, and Lucas fisted her hair even tighter. “Damn baby, suck me harder.” Moved by his need for her, she continued bobbing faster and faster along his thick length. She felt him twitch in her mouth, Lucas pulled her head away and grabbed a washcloth as she continued stroking him, feeling his strong release as he captured it. “I’ve wanted to do that to you for a very long time,” she grinned. “Oh yeah?” He kissed her as he played with her nipple. “Orally fixated, since childhood. My father had to take away my pacifiers and… Oh no, what time is it?” she asked jumping out of the shower. “My Dad Lucas! I’m going to be in so much trouble.” “I think we should just tell him the truth,” Lucas dried off. “You’ll probably be grounded for a while, but I can sneak in every night.” She smiled “Not funny and put some clothes on,” she turned around and mumbled, “You are so freaking hot.” “What was that?” Lucas grabbed her and turned her around. “Nothing,” Tessa looked down and then realized he was still naked. “Oh no, tell me,” he laughed. “You already heard me,” she grinned. “Nope, say it,” he smiled. “You are so freaking HOT” she yelled and kissed him. “And you Tessa are absolutely stunning, I love you baby,” he took her towel. He pulled her closer and kissed her, “Round two?” “Yes please,” he went in the bathroom and grabbed a condom and KY. He pushed her on the bed and slowly touched and kissed every part of her body, she couldn’t believe it could feel like this all the time. He put on a condom and used the jelly on her. He slowly moved into her. “You alright?” “Oh yes Lucas,” and she pushed into him. “A little sore but the pleasure completely voids the pain.”
His hands were always somewhere pleasurable, and she yelled out his name with each thrust. Finally, she finished, and he followed a few minutes later. They lay there breathless and looking at each other. Tessa’s phone rang, and she jumped. She answered it “Tessa where are you?” “I got pretty messed up with the cast at camp last night, Lucas found me. Alex, I’ll be home soon,” she said, and Lucas watched the pain in her eyes while she lied. “I’ll cover for you, get home, you going to make it to church?” Alex asked. “I don’t think so Alex,” she said quietly. “Alright your butt better be home and sick in bed when we get back. By the way is he alive, which one of you struck first,” Alex laughed. “I did of course, and we are both fine,” Tessa laughed as she looked at Lucas and smiled. She got up and started to get dressed. She looked at her underwear from the day before in disgust. “Why the face?” “I’ve never worn dirty underwear.” “Don’t wear any; I want it that way from now on,” he smiled and grabbed her butt, “Please.” “Well, what about when I wear skirts?” she asked confused. He smiled widely, “Especially then,” he kissed her head and threw her one of his Tee shirts and helped her put her bra on. “That is never going to get old,” he walked away. “Oh Lucas… is your Mom here?” she asked nervously. “No Tessa, she isn’t.” “Well, where is she?” she asked looking through his closet for some sweat pants. “She’s away,” he said in a quiet voice. She looked at him her eyes saddened. “Tessa I have to tell you, I really get upset when you look at me like that.” “First of all, we’re not going to fight already are we?” she asked. “And second, Lucas that’s not pity that’s concern, and it’s because I love you and you’re going to have to get used to it, I’ll always get upset when I know something hurts you. Are we good?” He smiled, “Yes baby, we are so good.” “Okay, so tell me what happened, please,” she put on a pair of his pants and they fell as she walked. He grinned, “I don’t think they fit.” She grabbed a hair tie out of her bag and cinched them, “See perfect.” “I saw and yes you are,” he hugged her. “Are you going to tell me?” she asked “Or am I going to have to start withholding sex already?” she threw her clothes in her bag. “After the calling hours, I came home, and she was loaded.” He said. “Your opening night,” he whispered. “So I took her to Tully Hill again.” “Lucas, I’m sorry,” she hugged him. “Thanks, Tessa,” he kissed her head. “It would be a lot of fun having you across the hall now,” she smiled. “Yeah, but Jade will be there.” “Yep, and you will be there every night until bedtime, I mean if you want to be,” she looked at the ground. “Tessa as messed up as everything was I loved being there every day, and every night, I have some interesting memories that I will have to tell you about,” Lucas said raising his eyebrow. “Will you come stay with us? I’m sure my Dad wouldn’t mind,” Tessa smiled.
“Tessa think about that. Do you want your Dad to know my mom isn’t here?” he grinned. “Oh, maybe not,” she frowned They walked out and got in the SUV. “Tessa I’m fine,” he reached across her and grabbed her buckle. “And now, I have you back and I’m very good,” he said and grabbed her hand. “Lucas, I love you so much. I don’t want to think that you’re alone here every night.” He laughed, “Would you prefer otherwise?” She smacked him, “Yes, I’m moving in.” “Oh,” he said, “Okay, how do you think your parents will handle that?” “I don’t know,” she said laughed. “Tessa would you really move in with me?” he sounded serious. She looked at him and laughed. “I was trying to freak you out.” “I think you did at first, but now — I want you to Tessa,” he laughed. “I want to live together.” “What’s so funny?” she asked smiling. “Well, I have no doubt that I love you because I have never felt that way. All those feelings, killing myself staying away from you and trying to make you hate me, all that crazy stuff. Now I just picture it, and I want you with me Tessa every day. I want to wake up with you and go to bed with you and look at the way you react to — I don’t know, everything, including dirty underwear,” his lips curled up slightly and he shook his head in disbelief. “When I can make that decision we will, is that a deal?” “Yes, it is,” he kissed her hand. “Lucas can I ask you a question?” “Of course.” “Are you okay, I mean are you really okay?” he shook his head yes and smiled. “Can we talk about everything sometime soon?” “Yes, Tessa, of course,” he said.” I have a question.” “Shoot,” she said. “How far did things go with Ben?” Her eyes widened, “How mad are you going to get at me?” “I won’t as long as you tell the truth.” “Do you promise?” she asked and swallowed hard. “Tessa you’re freaking me out,” he said. “I saw the show, very cute, by the way.” “Okay well, did you hear what I said to him in the end about what I was going to do to him on the way home?” she asked. “Oh, wait you had that chick pinned against the wall with your tongue lodged down her throat and hands all over her boobs.” “I heard everything you said Tessa, so did you?” “Well, did she before that when you walked outside with her?” He took a deep breath “Yes.” “And did you return the favor?” He laughed, “No, I don’t do that, it’s normally all about me, until this morning.” “Seriously?” “And I was right, I knew you would be delicious.” he grinned. “Well, why haven’t you before?” she asked curiously. “I told you, all about me, plus I certainly don’t want to catch anything,” he smiled. “Well, what about me?” she asked, he laughed. “Oh, so does that mean that won’t happen again?” “Oh no, I’ve found a new hobby, S’mores baby.” He squeezed her hand. That’s good, she thought and grinned.
“So how many other people since Sadi?” “None Tessa” he looked at her, “None. Okay, spill it.” She told him about it and about the cop. He laughed, “Ha see, and that wasn’t supposed to happen… he was into you.” “But, I love you.” “You better,” he said and grinned. “Anything else?” “Well, he touched my breasts.” “I know.” “You heard us?” “Yep, another not so nice moment,” he said. “I also heard you stick up for me that night.” “Well, why did you ask me?” “Just wanted to be sure you’re still the same girl.” “I love you,” she said and took a deep breath. “Tessa, do you care about him?” “Yes, I do. But not like you, it’s different; he’ll be my friend probably forever. Are you okay with that?” “Do I need to worry?” “Not at all. With both Ben and Toby, I just wanted to feel the way I felt with you. And I felt deeply for Toby. Safe, loved, and with Ben he was fun, and I felt like he adored me. But with you, from the first time I saw you look at me I felt… naked…. I know that’s the wrong way to explain it, but I knew you saw something I didn’t know was there. I had a dream about you. I knew…know I love you and that I always will. It scares me, but I feel drawn to you.” “I can tell when you walk in a room Tessa without even seeing you,” Lucas whispered. “I don’t just feel like I love you, I feel like I need you,” Tessa said softly. “Mmm, Tessa you’re amazing,” he smiled at her. “Seriously, dead puppies?” she asked. “Even now that we… you know.” “Oh, even more so now.” She grinned, “Good.” They pulled into Tessa’s driveway, “When will they be home from Church?” “In about half an hour.” “Perfect” he pulled up to the barn and jumped out. Lucas grabbed a blanket out from the back; he motioned for her to follow him. She walked in, and he had a blanket on the hay bales exactly like before. “Lucas I’m a little, okay a lot sore,” she blushed and looked down. “None of that, just want to finish what I started the other day, please baby,” he asked and gave her pouty lips. “Oh, you don’t have to beg for that.” He playfully pushed her down and took his sweats off her and smiled as he dove in. Unbelievable she thought. He was coming back later, she went upstairs and slept. She was happy, exhausted, and felt completely head over heels in love. *** Tessa woke up to Jade talking downstairs. She ran down and hugged her. “Wow, you look better.” “I’m feeling much better, go for a walk with me?” “Sure, your Dad got Chinese are you hungry?”
“No, not yet, come on,” Tessa pulled her out the door. “What’s going on?” “Tell me about your night.” Tessa tried to act interested, and she was but really wanted to tell Jade about hers... “It was nice; they’re hurting as much as I am. His mom is very excited about the baby and seems like she wants to be very involved, she asks a lot of questions. Like what my plans are for after the baby is born. Are you still in this with me?” “Yes,” her grin broadened. “I actually thought that maybe we could do courses over the summer, it would make next year easier. I think we should look into it. I mean if you could go for part time you’d have more time with your little boy,” Tessa smiled. “You keep saying a little boy,” Jade said, “Why?” “I had a nightmare about an accident with four people, and most of the time there was a baby boy. For the longest time, I thought it was Lucas’s baby, but I still had the dream after. I’m sorry Jade, does that upset you?” “No, actually Tommy told me about the dreams, Lucas told him. Do you know he used to turn off, oh no sorry I don’t want to upset you.” “No way Jade — spill it,” Tessa smiled. “Okay, but you better not,” she started “Fine, when he was living here he turned off your alarm on your phone on purpose just so he could hold you and kiss you.” They turned around and walked back to the house. Tessa was quiet and Jade felt bad. “Are you okay? I’m sorry….” “Jade I am fine,” she smiled and held her hand. They got to the house, and Lucas pulled in. He had flowers. Tessa winked and shook her head no. He gave Jade the flowers and hugged her. “Hello Jade,” he smiled and handed her the flowers. “So Lucas, Jade tells me…” Tessa started. “Tessa don’t,” Jade whispered. Tessa looked angry and continued, “That when you stayed here you used to turn off my alarm when I had those dreams just so you could come in my room and shove your tongue down my throat.” “Oh yeah, what else did she tell you?” he asked amused. “Jade who told you that?” “Tommy.” “What else did he tell you?” Tessa asked. “Oh, I couldn’t,” Jade said, “Sorry Lucas.” “Do you know how that makes me feel Lucas,” she poked him in the chest. “Oh boy,” Jade said. “I’m so sorry.” “No, Tessa I don’t, I do know you enjoyed it and constantly begged for more than just a kiss,” he winked “Oh yeah? And just how far did you let things go?” she asked pushing him. “Oh, I will never tell,” he smiled. Jade stood there, and her eyes were wide. “Just for that, I’m going to…” Tessa started. “Do what Tessa?” he laughed. “Lucas you shouldn’t push her when she’s mad,” Jade cautioned him. Tessa jumped in his arms and kissed him, Jade gasped. When they stopped kissing, Lucas looked at Jade. “Could you please tell her more,” Lucas laughed as Tessa kissed his neck. “He told me you didn’t touch the two girls,” Jade said, and Tessa kissed him harder.
“Come on Jade give her more,” he laughed. “And that he loved you,” Jade smiled. “But wanted you to find someone that would treat you right, and that sometimes you cried.” “Alright Jade, we’re good there,” Lucas smiled at her. “You cried Lucas?” “There’s that look Tessa.” “It’s because I love you.” “Alright then, I love you baby,” he kissed her face, and they both laughed. “What is going on with you two?” Jade asked confused. They smiled and Jade laughed, “Oh wow, you’re back together.” “Let’s just say it was a very long night,” Lucas kissed Tessa. Alex and Phoebe walked out. “What’s going on?” Phoebe asked. “They both finally admitted that they love each other,” Jade cried. “Oh no, Jade… please don’t cry,” Lucas hugged her. “No, it’s good, now I can ask you both to be Godparents without feeling bad. That’s what Tommy would have wanted,” Jade closed her eyes. “Really?” Lucas asked. “Why wouldn’t he?” Tessa hated that he felt unworthy. “So these flowers weren’t for me?” Jade laughed. “Yes they are Jade,” Lucas hugged her again. Becca and Ryan pulled in. “Hot tub?” Alex asked. They all walked in to get changed. “Please don’t wear the one from the other night,” Lucas whispered in her ear. “Please.” She grinned, “Sure.” The boys were in when they walked out; Tessa was wearing the bathing suit from the other night. She smiled at Lucas, and he shook his head. She walked in and started to sit, and she winced. “Are you okay Tessa?” Jade asked. “Yep,” she slowly sat down next to Lucas. “You okay?” he whispered. “No, that burned,” Tessa whispered. “Sorry baby, sit down and I will rub it and make it all better,” he smiled. Tessa’s eyes widened, and she whispered, “Too many people Lucas.” He laughed and put his arm around her and whispered, “You’re probably right, you are very boisterous.” “Does that bother you?” Tessa asked. His nostrils flared, he closed his eyes, and he shook his head slowly, “Not at all.” Tessa leaned back and her hand found its way to him, and she started to play. “No baby,” Lucas whispered. Tessa gave him a dirty look, and he laughed, “I love you.” Everyone got out of the hot tub except Tessa, Lucas, and Jade. “So are you in pain Tessa?” Jade asked. “What?” Tessa asked shocked. “When you got in, as soon as your who- who went in, you looked like you would cry.” Tessa laughed. “Hey baby, I’m going home. But when you tell her make sure you let her know how it went down” he smiled and looked at Jade “She attacked me.”
Tessa hugged him and kissed him. “I don’t want you to go.” “You’re in no shape for me to stay,” he laughed. “Please text me when you get home and….” “I know baby drive safe” he kissed her. “I love you.” “You better,” she smiled and he got out. “Goodnight Jade, goodnight little one,” Lucas said and left. “So?” Jade asked. Tessa smiled, “What do you want to know?” “EVERYTHING!” Her phone chimed it was him - I’m home. Do you think your parents would let me take you to New Jersey for a few days, Jade can come too… LYA Lucas - Oh, I don’t know, I can ask them tomorrow… Love Tessa - Alex and Phoebe too? I think Ryan wants to go; he and I had already talkedabout it… LOVE Lucas - Wouldn’t that be too much?... Love Tessa - Nope. Just let me know in the morning. Can I take you out for breakfast?... LOVE Lucas. - You could come here and eat… Love Tessa - nice!… LOVE Lucas. - Hahaha… promises promises… actually we may have to take tomorrow off… Love Tessa - We will see. Talk to you then... LOVE Lucas Tessa told Jade the whole story leaving nothing out, they went to bed, and Jade only woke up once. “Tessa is it supposed to get easier?” “I don’t know, but you have to be able to make peace with it for your baby,” Tessa snuggled with Jade. *** Tessa woke and smiled. She looked at the clock, and it was ten. She saw Lucas sitting across the room and jumped, he looked up. “Good morning Baby,” he smiled. “Good morning,” she said very aware that she probably looked like the walking dead. He walked over and started to kiss her. “Oh no, I need to brush my teeth,” she smiled. “Really?” he asked as he was looking her over. “Alright you can in a minute.” He pushed her down and smiled as he went under the covers. “Lucas,” she squealed, “Where is Jade and my family?” she grabbed the sheets and dug into them. “Downstairs,” he said stopping briefly. She tried to get up. He held her still. She was breathing heavy, shit she thought. What if they walked in, she looked at the door, and it was
shut. She began to squirm, “Lucas oh please stop I am going to scream,” “Pillow baby, bite it.” She did as he said, and he bit her lightly. She moaned into the pillow she had put over her face. And then she whimpered loudly. He sat up and smiled at her as he watched her try to catch her breath. “You okay?” he said. “Lucas,” she whispered still breathless, “You’re naughty.” “You invited me for breakfast,” he stood up. She looked at him and could see the bulge, “Not fair.” “What’s not fair?” She took his hand and pulled him to her, she looked up at him. “I didn’t get mine yet,” she grabbed him and took him in her mouth. He held her head, and when he was ready, he stopped and emptied into a towel. “God I love you.” He sat and held her. The door opened and it was Jade. “Tessa, your Mom is on her way over.” “Why?” “Ask Lucas, he asked her to come.” Tessa looked at Lucas. “I figured you’d want to ask them together.” She gave him a questioning look and he chuckled, “You know if you can move in with me.” “Lucas I don’t think…” he kissed her. “I’m just joking, about all of us going to New Jersey. Alex is in, that should help right?” he smiled. “I need a shower,” she smiled. Her parents agreed as long as Alex went. John was hesitant, but Maggie insisted that they be allowed to go. They were seniors and would be going to college in the fall. Tessa just looked at the ground the entire time. John and Alex went to get equipment ready for the work that needed to be done the following week. Alex was happy but knew a lot of work needed to be done before they left. Jade went with Phoebe to her house to get a few things. Lucas sat and looked at Tessa, “Everything okay, Tessa?” She looked up at him and raised her eyebrow and smiled and shook her head slowly yes. “Perfect, I’m going to help your dad and Alex. I kind of feel bad leaving him hanging.” She stood up and walked towards him and sat on his lap and hugged him. “I love you,” she kissed him. “Tessa you need to get up, so I can go help please,” his eyes starting to heat up. She grinned, “Sorry Lucas.” “Are you?” “No,” she said smiling and doing a little happy dance with her feet. He stood up and kissed her head and rolled his eyes, “Goodbye Tessa.” Tessa cleaned and then jumped on the computer. Ben had messaged her on Facebook. She decided to call him, she clicked on the message. He had instructed her to click on the link; there was a ton of pictures of them on stage at the club in Syracuse. Damn he was a doll. She looked at herself, she looked so happy. She took a deep breath and dialed the phone. “Hey girl, how are you doing?” Ben asked with a smile in his voice. “I’m good Ben, look I have to tell you something.”
“You and Lucas back together?” “Ben, I…” she started. “Don’t Tessa, we’re fine,” he said. “As long as he doesn’t hurt you, he and I’ll be fine, this was bound to happen.” “You’re not mad at me?” “No Tessa, not ever,” Ben said and her heart sank. “Thank you, Ben,” she said quietly. “Tess, be good to yourself,” Ben said quietly. “Of course Ben, thank you.” She hung up the phone. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. She jumped. “You done with that?” “Of course, it’s just not fun to hurt someone,” she said quietly. “Is he hurt?” Lucas asked. “No, he’s being Ben,” she said, “nice.” “Cool.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN They left for New Jersey early in the morning. Tessa and Jade sat in the back. Phoebe and Ryan sat in the middle, and Alex sat shotgun with Lucas. They drove for two hours before pulling over for lunch. “Tessa could you come with me for a minute?” Lucas asked. She smiled, and he took her hand. “Or ten” he whispered and winked. They went outside and went to the bathroom and he kissed her and locked the door. He grinned, and she smiled back, no way she thought. “Quick one baby?” she shook her head yes. He reached under her skirt and smiled when he rubbed her damp bare flesh, “And she listens.” They walked in just in time to order. Jade looked at her and shook her head from side to side. No one else even noticed, except maybe Ryan. They arrived at Lucas’s Dad’s just before three in the afternoon. Audrianna and the girls met them at the door; the girls ran out and hugged him. He picked them up, swung them around and kissed them. Tessa got out and watched him and smiled. Audrianna saw Tessa and she walked towards her and hugged her. “Tessa, how are you?” she was excited to see her. “I’m great,” she said watching Lucas with the girls, “How are you?” “Never better Tessa, thank you.” They went inside, and Audrianna showed them to their rooms. Alex and Ryan were in one of the guest rooms and the girls in another. Lucas frowned and raised his eyebrow and shook his head no as he looked at her, she smiled. They followed Lucas out to the tree fort with the girls, and within twenty minutes the three boys had on tiaras and pink pearl beaded necklaces. Tessa took pictures and laughed. Audrianna and Jade brought out tea and tea cups. They danced and sang, and Lucas laughed like a little boy. Tessa loved seeing him like that. Hell right about now Tessa loved seeing him period. Lucas took the girls and Audrianna inside. “Tessa he’s amazing with them, I don’t think I have ever seen him like that,” Jade smiled. “God he is amazing,” Tessa bit her lip. “What about when you two disappear to the bathroom for fifteen minutes?” Phoebe smiled. “He is pretty amazing then too,” Tessa blushed. “But don’t tell Alex.” “Alex is the one who pointed it out to me,” Phoebe laughed. “No way!” Tessa said as her jaw dropped. “Yes way,” Phoebe said still laughing. “Is he mad at me?” “No Tessa, he loves you and Lucas,” she said, “he isn’t happy about it, but he knows there isn’t much he can do about it either.” The girls came out with Princess Tiaras and dresses on. Lucas followed with a homemade king’s crown. “Princess Tessa, will you please come forward?” Ally said grinning. “Prince Lucas has a question for you,” Alexandra smiled. “Princess Tessa, will you please accompany me to Prom?” he winked. She smiled, “I’m not sure kind Prince. I would prefer to discuss this with the princesses before I can answer you. Princess Ally, Princess Alexandra, do you think that I should tell him yes or no?”
“Yes!” they both yelled and jumped up and down. “Even if I already have a date in mind? Are you quite sure?” Again they jumped up and down and squealed yes. “Well then, I guess Prince Lucas — I must accept,” she smiled. He picked her up and kissed her, “Thank you Tessa.” Landon returned at five that night. He walked in, and Lucas was chasing the girls around the table. He laughed, “Nice crown, Lucas.” “Pretty cool huh?” Lucas snickered. “So how long can you stay?” “I think we have to be back Thursday night.” They all walked in from outside. Landon watched as the kids walked through the door and his daughters jumped on Tessa. “Wow Lucas, you didn’t tell me Tessa was coming,” Landon smiled. “Everything’s good Dad,” he smiled at Tessa. “Ok then,” Landon patted him on the back. It was an unusually warm night for mid- April, and they sat on the deck and ate dinner. Tessa and Phoebe helped Audrianna clean up. It was getting late, and Audrianna put the girls to bed. “Have you filled out any college paperwork Lucas?” Landon asked. “Uh… no, I haven’t,” Lucas said realizing that the deadlines were less than a month away. “I think you should try to squeeze that in while you’re here.” Tessa walked out with Jade and Phoebe, and he smiled as he saw her laughing. “Lucas,” Landon snapped is fingers in front of Lucas’s face, “Lucas this is important.” “I know Dad… she’s beautiful,” Lucas said softly. “Tessa dear could you come here for a moment?” Landon asked. She walked over and smiled. “Could you have a seat for a minute?” Lucas pulled a chair next to his. He smiled; her eyes widened and wondered what this was about. “My son needs to be able to focus on getting some college applications submitted, do you think you could push him to do that?” Landon asked. “Sure, I really have little experience in that, but I’ll do what I can.” Lucas laughed. “What?” she asked. He shook his head and looked down and smiled. “Are you two alright? I mean what’s the status? I get very confused,” Landon said dryly. “We’re good Dad,” Lucas said looking at Tessa, “Very good.” Tessa blushed and gave him a serious look. “Tessa what are your plans after graduation?” Landon asked. “I am planning to go to school, close to home.” Damn this was uncomfortable she thought as she looked down. “And what will you do when Lucas goes away to college?” Landon asked. “To be honest, I never really thought about it. But I’ll be in school.” “Dad, I haven’t discussed my ideas with Tessa yet. You think this is necessary right now?” Lucas glared at him. “Well, I just think it’s something you may want to think about,” Landon responded. “Okay well, her cousin Jade will be having Tommy’s child in November. I’m sure Tessa will be very involved in that, I plan to be as much as I can. I was actually thinking of asking Tessa, Jade, and the baby to live me,” Lucas was very serious. “Oh, I think we are getting ahead of ourselves here,” Tessa smiled.
“Why?” Lucas asked her. “I think that my parents might have a problem with that,” Tessa she looked down. “You're graduating; it’s your choice after that.” “Lucas, I don’t think this is the time to discuss this,” Tessa whispered and scowled. She was aware that all eyes were on her. “I think it’s a perfect time,” he said again very seriously. “Lucas, I think this is a bit premature,” Landon began. “You asked. I’m just telling you what I want,” Lucas said raising his eyebrow and sitting back in his chair. “Well, it’s really not just about you, will you please excuse me?” She stood up and walked through the glass doors and into the house. She walked up the stairs and went into the room she would be sharing with Jade and Phoebe. “Was that necessary?” Lucas asked his Dad and stood up and went to find her. He walked into the room and Tessa was sitting on the bed listening to her music. He walked over and kissed her. She looked at him. “Why are you upset? I just told my father I wanted you to live with me baby, that doesn’t make you happy?” “It kind of freaks me out Lucas,” she pulled away from him. “Why, it’s not what you want?” Lucas asked confused. “Well, I guess…” Tessa started. “What do you mean you guess?” Lucas asked defensively. “Lucas you didn’t let me finish,” her face saddened, “we just got back together, and we’re fighting already.” “No, we aren’t, we’re talking about our future,” Lucas said adamantly. “Ok, well, we’re going to college. Jade is having a baby. It’s a lot to think about in the two days we’ve been back together,” Tessa said. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas snapped. “God Lucas, please don’t fight with me, can’t we just enjoy the next few days?” she pleaded. “Well, I was thinking more long term than the next few days, but if that’s what you want then fine,” he quickly got up and walked away. She heard his door slam, and she got up and went into his room. He was sitting on his bed. She sat next to him. “Lucas don’t be mad at me,” Tessa said softly. “I’m not mad. I’m confused and maybe a bit frustrated. Ok and yes that was not the reaction I expected from you when I told my father I wanted THIS to be more,” Lucas confessed. She smiled at him, “Lucas, I’m sorry. Do you love me?” “Of course, I do, do you love me?” he asked sarcastically. “Yes, madly,” she laughed. “We need to talk about things and think through things,” she kissed him. “Do you want to talk now?” Lucas asked as he looked at her. “No, not really,” she grinned. “Good,” he kissed her. *** They walked onto the deck holding hands and smiling. Landon looked at them and shook his head. Audrianna sat next to him and grabbed his hand. “He loves her Landon.” “He’s loved a lot of girls.”
“No, he has not, sex is not love,” she laughed. He smiled at her and winked. He stood up and dragged her behind him and whispered, “No but it is lots of fun.” They all sat around the outdoor fire pit talking and laughing. Tessa was falling asleep, and Jade already was asleep. “I’m going to bed, goodnight Lucas,” she said and kissed him. “See you later?” he whispered in her ear. She could not possibly imagine more, she was spent. She smiled. “We’ll see,” he stood up and took her hand and walked into the kitchen. “Are you mad at me?” he asked as he took her face in his hands. “No, Lucas,” she blushed and looked down. “Then what’s wrong?” “I’m pretty beat up,” she smirked. “Oh, oh,” he said as it finally clicked. “I can kiss it and make it better,” he licked his lips slowly. Her eyes widened, and she bit her lip as she tried not to smile. “Sound like a plan?” “Lucas it sounds amazing, but I really think I want to give it a rest,” he looked hurt, “just for tonight. Don’t be mad, please.” He looked up at her through his long black lashes and stuck out his bottom lip, “I’m not, I just can’t get enough of you it drives me crazy.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. “And that isn’t helping,” he laughed. *** Tessa walked into the girls’ room, and Jade and Phoebe were already in PJ’s. “Again?” Phoebe said. “No, I don’t think that would have been possible,” Tessa said as she changed. “Why, how many times already?” Jade asked. “Four and lots of other stuff,” she said laughing. “In three days, girl you can do better than that,” Jade laughed. “How often did you guys?” Tessa asked. “Depends,” she smiled, “Once we did four times in one day.” “How could you walk?” Phoebe laughed, “It gets easier, and you need a little break to heal though.” “You and Alex?” Tessa gasped. Phoebe’s face fell and went pale; tears started forming in her eyes, “No Tessa.” “Oh,” Tessa was confused. “I’m going to tell you something, and I beg you not to tell anyone,” Phoebe took a deep breath. “Phoebe you don’t have to,” Jade held her hand. “No, I want to.” She told them everything. Her parents had lots of parties, and her Dad’s friend had molested her for about five years. In her last foster family, there was a boy who had assaulted her for six months. She gave details, horrible graphic details of the abuse she took. Jade and Tessa cried and held her. Alex walked in the door and saw them. “What’s going on?” Alex looked at Phoebe, who was hugging her knees and hiding her face. “Tess, are you guys okay?” “Yeah,” she wiped her eyes and rubbed Phoebe’s back.
Alex walked over to Phoebe and knelt down in front of her. “Phoebe you alright?” She shook her head yes. “Hey, Alex would you wait outside for just a second?” Tessa asked. “Phoebe do you want me to leave?” Alex asked softly. “Sorry, this is embarrassing,” Phoebe whispered. “Alex, just give her a minute,” Tessa rubbed his shoulder. He left confused. “Phoebe I don’t know anyone in the whole world that is as trustworthy as my brother. Do you love him?” “Yes and I don’t want him to hate me,” Phoebe closed her eyes tightly as tears continued to fall. “Oh, Phoebe he would never, don’t you see the way he looks at you?” Tessa hugged her. “He’s worried about you Phoebe.” “Will you tell him?” “Phoebe you need to,” Tessa said softly. “I can’t,” Phoebe cried. “Yes you can, when you’re ready.” *** Jade and Tessa walked out in the hall and Alex was standing with Lucas, both looking confused. Ryan walked out in his shorts. “Everything alright?” Ryan said rubbing his eyes as he walked past Jade on his way to the bathroom. Jade looked at him and shook her head yes. Alex walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Phoebe looked at Alex, “I’m sorry.” “Phoebe what’s going on?” Alex asked with genuine concern. She told him everything as he sat and held her hands. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to stop this.” He looked angry; he wiped her face and held her hands. “Alex I’m sorry.” He hugged her, “Phoebe I’m not at all angry with you. I want to kill the people who hurt you, because their behavior warrants it… but I’m not at all angry with you.” She hugged him back. “I don’t expect you to want to be with me Alex, you deserve someone like you. Someone good and not… damaged.” “Phoebe you’re good. You have been through so much, and I need to tell you something,” she looked at him as he took a deep breath and swallowed. “Phoebe, I love you.” She just stared at him, “You don’t have to Alex, you don’t have to say that.” “I do. I wish I had told you before now, and I hope you aren’t put off by it,” Alex said. “I don’t know what to say,” she wiped her eyes, “Thank you?” “You’re welcome,” he hugged her. Alex held her wondering what would become of them. Wishing he had told her, he loved her at a different time and praying she would be alright. Jade came out of the bathroom, and Ryan was standing against the wall next to the girl's room with his eyes closed. “Are they in there still?” Jade asked him. Ryan opened his eyes and yawned, “Yes.” “Well, we can sleep in here, there are two beds right?” Jade said laughing. “Unless you prefer the wall.”
“You sure,” Ryan asked. “Yes,” Jade laughed. They walked in, and he waited for her to lie down and he took the other bed. Lucas and Tessa walked up the stairs and had drinks for everyone. They opened the girls’ door, and Alex was sitting on the bed, holding and rocking Phoebe, who was asleep. “Here’s some water. You okay?” “I’m livid,” Alex whispered. “How could that have happened to her?” “I don’t know Alex, but she’s pretty damn amazing.” “Tessa I love her,” Alex looked so angry “Well… tell her silly.” “I did,” Alex looked away, “bad timing I think.” “What did she say?” “She told me I didn't have to,” Alex huffed, “As if I had a choice, I knew from …this shit sucks.” “Give her time. Are you staying with her tonight?” “Yes.” Lucas walked out of the boys’ room and laughed as Tessa came out of the girl’s room. “Jade is in one bed, Ryan in the other and they’re sleeping. You want to go in there, or will you sleep with me?” he winked. “I will SLEEP with you.” They went in, and he locked his door. Oh, boy she thought. He got undressed and kissed her. “Lucas,” her head was spinning. “We’re going to sleep tonight,” he lifted the covers and patting the bed. She climbed in, and he covered her up. She watched him walk around the bed, he was absolutely perfect. Tall and built like she had never seen, and right now he was gloriously naked. She smiled and took a deep breath. He climbed in beside her and pulled her over so that she was lying on his chest. She couldn’t sleep; all she could think about was what was under those covers, so close and ready for her. He fell asleep and she climbed under the covers. “Baby, what are you doing?” he grabbed her head and moaned. When he was about ready, he grabbed tissues. She sat up and smiled, “You know I could finish.” “I have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon; just to be sure all is well. I do that every six months. And then, well, and then you may regret asking for it,” he laughed. “Well then why do you?” she pointed down. “Tessa seriously how many people have you been with?” She laughed, “Oh that’s right.” “My turn,” he started going under. “Oh no,” she pulled him up and hugged him. “For how long?” “A day maybe two,” he gave her his best pouty lip look. “I’ll take care of you, Lucas.” “You better,” hugged her, “Please let me know as soon as I can touch you again.” Lucas woke up again to her under the covers. “Damn Baby,” he pulled her up and flipping her over. “What are you doing?” she asked, “I wasn’t done.” “You seriously can’t expect me to not touch you,” he disappeared under the covers. She immediately arched her back and responded to him, she didn’t feel sore anymore. She scooted up, and he looked up at her. “No baby, get back down here,” he demanded.
She opened his nightstand drawer and handed him a condom and smiled. “You sure?” “Oh yes,” she said. “Give me a minute,” he pushed her back down, “I’m not finished here.” “Oh Lucas,” she grabbed his hair. Her body quivered, and she finally breathed. He moved up and slowly entered her. “Tessa you are so fucking hot.” She smiled and pushed him on his back and slowly took control. He watched her face and her body; he caressed her breasts as she moved. She started to arch her back, and he sat up and kissed her as she continued to move. He picked her up, stood up, and kissed her. He pulled away and turned her so that her back was to him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and quickly pushed her forward. Her hands were on the bed, he brought her knees up she was on all fours. He caressed her, and she moaned. “Hold on baby,” he hissed as moved into her, she started to yell, and he slowed, and handed her a pillow, “You alright?” “Oh yes, don’t stop, please.” “Okay, use a pillow, we don’t need to wake everyone up.” He repeatedly pounded into her and she finally fell into the bed, and he followed. He sat up and pulled her into him. “Holy shit baby,” he said breathlessly. She turned to him and smiled wildly. “Lucas that was amazing.” “It didn’t hurt?” “No, not really, at first maybe but no,” she giggled. “Good, so next time it’s on,” he smiled wickedly. Her eyes widened. “I’ve used a lot of restraint Tessa, and I don’t want to. Next time I’m going to unleash on you, we’re going to have to leave today. I want to hear you scream my name as I fuck you hard.” Her mouth gapped, I think I would love that, she thought. Lucas watched her face for a reaction. It was exactly what he had hoped. “Oh, I love you, Baby,” he stood up and dragged her into the bathroom. He handed her a toothbrush and started the shower. They brushed their teeth and got in the shower. They washed each other and kissed deep hard kisses until the water started to cool. He grabbed a towel for both of them, and they stepped out and started getting dressed. “I wish we could stay like this every day Tessa,” Lucas said softly. She smiled, “I think I would like that.” “Oh, but yesterday living with me was a touchy subject,” he raised his eyebrow. “Lucas, I want to very much. But right now I want to enjoy all this. It’s new to me, and I’d like to bask in it as long as I can,” she kissed him. “Please, understand that.” He looked at her, and his look softened, “That’s fine for now, baby. By the way, it really likes you basking in it, on it, around it….” Tessa laughed and he smiled. They went downstairs, and everyone was still asleep. Tessa wanted to make breakfast and Lucas helped. They made veggie omelets and fruit salad. The girls woke up and ran downstairs. Lucas hugged them and sat them at the bar. Tessa asked him for food coloring and he found it. She made the eggs pink, and they each ate half of the four egg omelet. Audrianna came down and whispered in Lucas’s ear, “How did you guys get them to eat eggs and veggies?”
He laughed, “I think they were magic Princess eggs? You’d have to ask her.” “Good morning everyone,” Landon smiled as he walked in the room. They all said hello and Audrianna told him about the eggs with broccoli and spinach. “You girls ate all that?” he smiled at his daughters. “Tessa’s magic,” Ally said. Tessa smiled and set plates in front of Audrianna and Landon. “Thank you, Tessa,” they said. Jade and Ryan came down, and she cooked another omelet, Lucas kissed her head and took the food to their friends. Jade ate very fast, and Ryan laughed at her. “You want mine?” She smacked him, “Yes actually.” “Eat up Jade,” Ryan smiled. Tessa laughed and made them another. “I don’t know why I’m so hungry,” Jade swallowed and dove in for another bite. Ryan chuckled and shook his head. “What?” Jade giggled “Jade,” he whispered, “You’re pregnant; you’re supposed to be hungry.” She laughed. “Do you see that?” Tessa whispered to Lucas. “Yes I’ve seen that for a few months now.” “What do you mean?” “I think he really cares about her.” “That doesn’t bother you?” “No, she loves Tommy, and Ryan isn’t an idiot. I’m pretty sure it has a lot to do with her brothers.” Tessa looked down, “That was an awful time for her, and every time I feel sorry for myself, I think about them. She has been through so much,” she took a deep breath “And now this.” He hugged her and rubbed his nose against hers. Landon watched his son’s show of affection. A new look for his Lucas around the many females he had brought in and out of his life. “He loves her Landon,” Audrianna whispered. “I see that, and it scares the hell out of me,” he looked away. Phoebe and Alex came down. He held her hand, she looked exhausted. Lucas brought them breakfast and smiled at them, “Enjoy.” Alex pulled a chair out for Phoebe, and she looked down and sat. He sat next to her and cut up her omelet and handed her a fork. She played with her food as he ate. He took her fork and lifted her chin. “Phoebe eat please,” she took a bite and swallowed hard. Everyone had left the kitchen to get ready for the day. Tessa was washing dishes as she watched them. “Alex, can you give us a minute?” He walked with his shoulders wilting. “Phoebe are you okay?” Tessa wrapped her arm around Phoebes's shoulder. “No Tessa, I can’t even look at him, it’s hard enough looking at you.” Tessa picked up the fork with eggs on it. “These are magic eggs Phoebe. I made them for you, please eat them,” she made an airplane noise that she used to make for Jake when he was a baby. Phoebe smiled politely and opened her mouth and chewed. “When you were sleeping last night I came in. My brother told me he loves you,” she said and did the airplane noise and Phoebe opened and chewed. “Do you love my brother?” Phoebe smiled, “Very much but, I don’t want him to feel he has to.” Tessa did the noise again and put more food in Phoebe’s mouth.
“If Alex said he loves you, he does Phoebe. He told me your response, and I think he feels like you don’t feel the same.” Phoebe swallowed, “That’s not what I wanted, Tessa. I’d never hurt him, I love him very much.” Tessa looked at the doorway and Alex stood there leaning on the wall, and he smiled at her. She motioned with her head to come over. Alex walked over and Tessa handed him the fork and stood up and walked out. Alex looked at Phoebe and smiled. “Can we try this again?” he asked. She shook her head yes, “Phoebe, I love you.” She hugged him, “I love you, I’m sorry.” Tessa smiled as she walked into the hallway, she did a little happy dance and looked up. Audrianna, Landon, and Lucas were standing there. Her face turned red immediately. “You are so precious,” Audrianna giggled. Lucas and Landon smiled and Tessa closed her eyes hoping they would all disappear, how embarrassing she thought. “Tessa you do know we can still see you right? Even with your eyes closed?” Landon chuckled. “Dad,” Lucas chuckled. “Well, when you were little you didn’t think we could… I just thought Tessa should know,” Landon patted her back as he walked by. Lucas grabbed her hand, and they went out on the deck where Jade and Ryan sat enjoying the sun. “I have a physical in an hour, is it okay if I take Tessa with me?” Lucas asked Jade. “Of course,” Jade smiled. “Besides, I think I’m going to grab that chess board and kick this boy’s butt.” “Jade, you don’t have a chance,” Ryan laughed.
CHAPTER TWELVE Lucas drove down the road and pulled over into the park. He drove up a long seasonal hilly road. “Strange place for a doctor’s office.” Lucas looked out of the corner of his eye and saw her smiling. Nice, he thought. He pulled over and jumped out and opened her door and grabbed her hand. He pulled her to a small cabin in the clearing. “You don’t have to be quiet here baby,” watched her eyes widen. “You alright?” She shook her head yes and looked in his eyes, unsure of what to expect. Lucas slowly undressed her, took her hand and walked behind the cabin, there was a picnic table. He took his shirt off and put it on the table, he grabbed her hips and lifted her and sat her on it. His nostrils flared and jaw clenched. “If it gets to be too much, tell me baby.” He kissed her from her neck to her mouth and down to her breasts. She flinched as he bit down hard on her. She held her breath. Lucas used his long fingers to open her mouth. “I want to hear you baby,” he whispered and continued down her stomach. She moaned when he used his fingers and pushed into her wetness. He pushed in another finger circling her inside as his palm rubbed her lips on the outside. He stood up, continuing to please her. He kissed her and took her breasts again. “Oh God Lucas,” she moaned. His pace quickened and then he stopped. He turned her and sat on the bench. “Laydown now Tessa,” he said forcefully. Lucas moved down and began to devour her, and she moaned pushing into his face as he held her legs wide open, holding her thighs down on the hard wood of the table. “Lucas… oh Lucas” she couldn’t stand it and tried to sit up but he held her down and bit harder and sucked on her swollen nub. His tongue dipped deeper and she yelled out his name over and over. Lucas stopped and stood in front of her head. “You want this Tessa?” he asked as he slowly rubbed down the length of him. “Yes,” she moaned, her body ached for his touch. “Please Lucas.” “Beg me baby.” “Please Lucas.” He walked up and said, “Suck my dick, Baby.” She did, and his hands moved down her body, and his fingers pushed into her. She gasped and moaned and cried out his name with her mouth full of him. He pulled away and held himself in his hand and dragged his tip across her swollen lips. Her tongue circled the tip and he grabbed the back of her head and pushed forcefully into her mouth. He pulled out and groaned. He climbed on top of her and slammed into her fast and hard, over and over again. “Don’t stop Lucas,” she whined and he moved faster- fucking her harder than he ever had as she yelled his name. He slowed down and stopped. “Come baby,” he said and helped her off the table. He put on a condom and sat on the bench. He turned her around. “Touch your toes” he demanded, and she did what he asked. He squeezed her ass, stood up and slowly entered her.
“Stay that way as long as you can,” he instructed. He moved fast and hard, she cried out and started to lose her balance. He grabbed her by the waist and continued, collapsed into his arms and he turned them around and laid her over the table on his shirt. “Hang on baby,” he said and he squeezed her ass and changed his pace to a bit slower and much harder until he finally finished hearing his name echoing through the forest. He let her lay still panting and ran to the front of the cabin and grabbed her clothes. He came back, and she hadn’t moved: her breaths were hard and fast. He lifted her up against him and kissed her cheek. “I love you baby,” he whispered. He turned her toward him and lifted her back on the table and put her shirt over her head. She slowly put her arms in the holes. She had her eyes closed still trying to control her breathing. He thought she looked so hot this way, note to self, do this more often he thought and smiled. He put her feet through her underwear and pants and pulled them up as far as he could. “Baby can you help me out?” She shook her head no. “You okay?” he asked and she grinned and shook her head yes. “Alright then,” he picked her up. Lucas slid her pants the rest of the way up. He grabbed his shirt and put it on. “Tessa, we kind of have to go baby, I’m already late,” he laughed. She opened her eyes and looked at him, “I can’t move my legs.” “Oh God, Tessa.” She smiled her eyes still closed, “They feel like Jell- O, you’re going to have to give me a minute,” she laughed. “Oh, thank God I thought I had hurt you,” he hugged her, “but we have to go. I want to get this done, so I don’t have to use those things anymore.” Lucas picked her up and walked to the car and set her in, he jumped in and buckled her seat belt and did the same. “We okay?” he asked pulling onto the road. “Yes Lucas, we’re fine,” she closed her eyes. “Okay, why are you so quiet?” “My body is still throwing a party,” she giggled. “Are you kidding me?” he laughed. “No joke,” she said quietly. He reached over and grabbed her breast. She smiled, “That’s not going to help.” “Baby,” he whispered and continued, “You are so fucking hot.” “Lucas, please,” she said closing her knees tightly and moaned. “Shit Tessa,” he pulled into the doctor’s office. “Okay — you stay here. I’m hoping it will be quick and then we are going back, I want you again, already.” She smiled, “Good luck.” He came out thirty minutes later, and the car was locked, and she wasn’t in it. She walked out the door and looked annoyed. He walked up and hugged her. “Ready to go,” he smiled. “Yes, I need to go to the store.” “Okay.” Lucas pulled into the grocery store and he started getting out. “Lucas I can go by myself,” Tessa said scowling. “No, I’ll go with you.”
She didn’t get out. “Tessa what’s going on?” “Lucas, I have my period,” she looked at his face waiting for his disappointment to show. “Oh, well that happens right?” Lucas looked down and quickly up at her again smiling, “That means you can start your pills on Sunday.” “You’re not disappointed?” “No,” he laughed. “Come on.” She got out, “You don’t have to come with me.” “Are you embarrassed?” Lucas grabbed her hand. “Aren’t you?” “No, I’m pretty sure they aren’t going to think they’re for me,” he laughed. She smiled, “You’re a jerk.” They walked in the store, and he was smirking. She smacked him and laughed. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her. They walked to the health and beauty section, and Tessa grabbed a box of pads. “Seriously that’s what you use?” “Lucas yes,” she whispered. Lucas stood and looked at all the different types of pads, “Now what the hell do you need wings for and why not these?” he asked picking up a box of Tampons. “I’m not shoving something up me.” “Why not?” he asked. “Because I’m a vir...” she paused. “I don’t know,” her face was red. “I can help,” he smiled and raised his eyebrow. “Oh no, we are officially on a break for a week.” “I can still help,” he threw them in the cart. “We need chocolate?” She smiled, “Yes, of course.” They walked around, and he grabbed some snacks and drinks. They stood in a long line, and he pulled her into him and hugged her as they waited. “I’m tired.” “Rest, this is the shortest line, and I think it’s going to take a while,” he kissed her head. They got up to the checkout and started loading the belt. “Hello Lucas,” the cashier said. Tessa looked up. “Hey Leah, this is Tessa, my girlfriend.” “Hello Tessa,” Leah looked away. She scanned all the items and came to the feminine hygiene products; Leah smirked, “Going to be a fun stay, huh?” Tessa’s jaw dropped, and she looked at Lucas. “Yeah, it will be,” he winked at Tessa. “By the way, they are for me,” he said and handed her money. Tessa laughed as they walked out. They pulled into Lucas’ Dad’s house and grabbed the bags from the SUV. Audrianna helped carry them in. Lucas grabbed the female items and ran upstairs to his bathroom. When he came down Tessa was looking through the bags for her things. He kissed her head, “My bathroom baby.” “Lucas there is a lot of junk food here,” Audrianna said. He smiled, “I know… Tessa has horrible eating habits.” Tessa looked at him and shook her head, “Oh Lucas don’t we need to start on those applications?”
“Yes, I guess so,” he grimaced. By dinner, Lucas, Ryan, Alex, Tessa, Jade, and Phoebe had all filled out five different applications. Tessa, Jade, and Phoebe played with the girls and helped cook dinner. “Lucas, I’m not trying to bring up any touchy subjects… but what are your plans for the summer?” “Not sure Dad why?” “Well, there is a job up for bid in Ithaca; I thought if you were available you could kind of keep track of it for me. It’s not a huge job; it’ll start at the end of June and end in the middle of August.” “Sure,” Lucas said. “Do I get to boss people around?” “Well, you’ll get to do a lot of things. I’ll spend a few weeks there, I found a house on Cayuga Lake that we can rent if Audrianna would like to stay,” he smiled at her. “Cool, will we need a lot of people?” he asked. “We might need a few extra hands, why?” “I was thinking of Ryan and Alex. I would love to tell them what to do all day, and they both operate equipment already. Oh, and can we hire the girls to make us lunch?” Lucas laughed. “Well, the boys yes, it’s not work for females.” Lucas saw Tessa from the corner of her eye and he could feel her knee bouncing, she was annoyed. He laughed. “What’s so funny?” Landon asked. “Oh nothing. Ryan, Alex what do you say?” Lucas asked. “I’ll have to work on the farm. Dad’s going to need me before I go away,” Alex said, “But thank you.” “I’m in,” Ryan said. “I can help with hay after work,” he looked at Alex. “Perfect,” Landon said. “Do you know what would be perfect?” Audrianna asked. “You and the boys cleaning up dishes. I know its women’s work, but I think you might be able to handle it dear.” Audrianna smiled and turned to see Tessa looking down trying not to laugh. “Not a problem,” Landon chuckled, knowing he was being challenged. “Oh and maybe dinner tomorrow night.” “Oh and breakfast,” Tessa whispered to Audrianna. “And breakfast in the morning, Landon can you manage that?” Audrianna asked laughing. “I can Audri, but you’d better be able to handle what I have in store for you tonight.” he said walking into the kitchen. She blushed, “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be, have fun with that,” Jade said and they all laughed. “Audrianna, how did you two meet?” Phoebe asked. Audrianna told them the whole story. Landon and Kate had Lucas very young, they were sixteen, and it was unplanned. Landon was only thirty- five and very good looking. Lucas looked more like his mom, but his body type definitely favored Landon. Landon had starting working construction and taking night classes to get through high school. Landon became a foreman at eighteen. He also started playing around then. Kate drank a lot trying to dull the pain she felt as a result of his infidelities and hers. After the divorce, Landon started his first construction company. Landon met wife number two shortly after. He also left New York. He was able to afford to give them the lifestyle he thought Lucas deserved. Wife number two only lasted three years and he was onto wife number three, she was more his age and lasted five years. She made him seek marriage counseling, and that is where he met Audrianna. She was a couple of years older than Landon, but you would never be able to tell. Wife three had an affair with the counselor and Landon was less than happy when he found out. Audrianna was wife three’s counselor’s supervisor. She was single and planned on staying that way. One thing led to another, and she fell in love with him. They’d been married for seven
years now. Of course, they had taken a break, she wanted him to be more present and felt that if he missed her and the girls they would get back together and life would be perfect again. That only happened after Lucas met Tessa. Tessa was painting the girl’s nails, listening to Audrianna. She learned more in those ten minutes from Audrianna than in the game she and Lucas played at her mom’s apartment back in the fall. “Will you sleep in our room tonight Tessa?” Alexandra asked. Tessa looked at Lucas, and he was shaking his head no. “I would love to,” she laughed. Tessa and Lucas read them a few stories. Tessa lay down with them. “When they fall asleep, please come outside, we’ll be there,” he left, and the three of them fell asleep. She woke up at about three in the morning and snuck in his room. She climbed into bed and wrapped her arms around him. He woke and looked down at her. “Hey Tessa, you finally made it out?” She smiled, “Go to sleep, Lucas.” At about six thirty, Landon came in and saw Tessa lying next to Lucas. He cleared his throat, and she jumped up, and Lucas smiled. “Hey Dad.” “Good morning Lucas,” he said trying not to smile. “Tessa thanks for getting all my Princesses to sleep last night, but if the other two wake up and you’re gone, they’re going to be very upset.” “Okay, I’m sorry, I really am — nothing happened I promise, I have my,” and she stopped and put her hand over her mouth. Why the hell am I telling him all this? Her face turned bright red, and she looked at Lucas, who was shocked and very amused. “Oh God, I’m sorry,” she said as she ran out the door. Landon and Lucas laughed, “She is a treat, Lucas.” “Yeah, I know,” Lucas said. “What’s up?” “Breakfast is what’s up. Let’s do this,” he rolled his eyes. Lucas pulled in the driveway with the breakfast food and tiptoed in the house. Landon made a little mess of the kitchen to make it look like they had cooked and not gotten takeout. Ryan and Alex came into the room. “Everything already done?” Ryan asked. Lucas and Landon looked at each other and smiled, “Yes.” “You guys have this… I’ll be serving my wife breakfast in bed,” he smiled. The girls came down and ate. “Great job guys,” Phoebe said. Tessa ate and smiled, “Lucas it tastes great, what spices did you use?” “Well, what ones do you taste Baby?” he asked completely avoiding eye contact. She laughed; he grinned and shook his head. The boys cleaned up, and Tessa went and showered as Lucas played Candy Land with the girls. Audrianna and Landon came downstairs, and both were showered and ready for the day. Lucas smirked, and Audrianna smacked him as she walked over to Tessa. “Breakfast was good huh?” Tessa laughed, “Yes it was actually.” “So I’m taking the day off,” Landon announced. Audrianna looked shocked. “We’re all going to go see the Yankee’s play, but before that I thought we could do a little shopping and a show?” The girls jumped up and down and clapped.
Tessa looked at Lucas, and he smiled. They went upstairs, and Tessa went in the bathroom and shut the door in his face and he opened it laughing, “Can we shower?” “No,” her face turned red. “Ok, sorry baby, privacy right?” he asked as he shut the door. She came out, and he kissed her. “Sorry Tessa.” “Well, thanks but it’s not your fault,” kissed him back. *** “Tessa will you ride with us?” Alexandra asked as they all walked outside. “Of course.” “Ditching me again Tessa?” “I’m of no use to you right now,” she laughed. “So not true,” he ran his finger across her lower lip. *** In the car, Tessa sat between the girls as they talked about going to their favorite doll store. She learned about all the different hysterical characters, (which Tessa knew were actually historical characters) and that they all came with books. They had tea parties and photo shoots and could get their doll’s hair done. “You don’t have a doll?” Ally asked. “No, I don’t I’m kind of an outdoor person. You’re so lucky to have such beautiful things; you better make sure you are super good for your parents.” “Were you bad and that’s why you didn’t get one?” Alexandra asked. Tessa laughed, “No, I just come from a much different kingdom.” “Well, what’s it like?” Ally asked. “Well, I live on a farm, and we work a lot.” “Well, what do you play with?” Alexandria asked. “Well, when I was your age, I played with lots of things. With my sisters, I played Barbie's. With my Dad, I learned to drive tractors and well –shoot a bow. With my Mom it was always fun to bake and play in the garden, in the dirt with worms,” Tessa tickled them. They laughed. “Well, now that you’re older what do you play with?” Ally asked. “Well, I love music and theater. I help at our church, I actually have a little group of kids that sing in front of the church, and I get to play with them once a week. I still love all the things I did when I was little, but it’s just much busier now,” Tessa explained. “Do you like to play with Lucas?” Alexandra asked. “Well, sure I do,” she saw Landon smirk, and Audrianna squeezed his hand and shook her head. “What do you play with him?” Ally asked. “We talk a lot, mostly about our families and friends. He talks about you two all the time. When he is in a sad and wants to be happy, he thinks or talks about the two of you. He’s much happier now that you’re in his life. We rode snowmobiles once, and we go to each other’s games and sometimes out to dinner.” “But mostly talk?” Alexandra asked. “Yes, actually,” Tessa laughed They pulled into the parking lot, and Landon opened the door to get Ally out, and Audrianna got Alexandra. Lucas pulled in and smiled when he saw his father holding the door for Tessa.
“Tessa, have you ever seen the play Wicked?” Landon asked. “No, but I’ve read the book,” Tessa said. “Well, it starts in an hour and the box office is holding tickets for the six of you,” Lucas stood next to them and held Tessa’s hand. “And we are going to take the girls to an extremely overpriced,” Audrianna looked at him and raised her eyebrow, “but worth every penny, doll store. After that, we will meet and have an early dinner and do a little touring, and then it’s off to watch the boys win one at home.” “Thank you,” Tessa said, knowing the whole theater experience was for her. *** The show was amazing. “You’re going to be up there someday,” Lucas kissed her as they walked out. Tessa laughed “I don’t think so, that doesn’t fit into my future plans.” “Well, why not?” “I’m a farm girl, remember? I like the much simpler things in life,” she smiled. They did some shopping and went to dinner in Times Square. The girls played with their new dolls. Ally had gotten the one that lived with her uncle and aunt in New York City and Alexandra got her best friend, the one who had two sisters and was orphaned. They were beautiful dolls and the books were very much based on historical events. The baseball game was amazing. Their seats were behind the Yankees dugout. The Yankee’s won the game by four runs. Tessa and Alex bought hats and tee shirts for their siblings and parents, Tessa also snuck in a Onesie for Jade’s baby. Audrianna took lots of pictures throughout the day. *** Tessa was tired and very crampy when they got home. Jade looked exhausted. “You okay Jade?” “Just tired, but I had so much fun today,” Jade smiled. “I think I should let Phoebe and Alex sleep in the girl’s room tonight, I can crash in with Ryan.” Tessa and Lucas helped his dad and step mom carry in all the bags. Audrianna made the girls take baths after being in the city all day, germs everywhere she had said. Tessa and Lucas finished reading the book from the car to them, and they fell asleep as soon as they knew everything was going to be okay with the orphaned girls. She followed Lucas into his room, and he smiled, “You’re going to stay with me all night?” “Is that okay even though we can’t… well, you know.” “Baby there are other things we could do,” he said reaching his hands down the back of her pants. She scowled at him, “Oh hell no.” He laughed, “Someday you’ll be begging for it.” “Let’s get one thing, well two things straight, not there ever! And not during this week, got it?” He smiled completely focused on her mouth. She laughed. “I am going to take a shower, you know germs everywhere,” he laughed. “Can I join you?” she smiled. “Sure.” She put on the bottoms of her swimsuit and climbed in with him. He smiled. She went down to her knees and grinned up at him. “You are so awesome,” his deep lust filled voice cracked when she took him into her mouth. They got dried off, and she put on her nightgown. He held her and kissed her. “I love you Tessa,” he whispered as she fell asleep.
*** In the morning, Jade was up with a pen and paper writing in the kitchen. “Good morning,” Tessa said as she walked by. “Good morning, how was last night?” Jade grinned. Landon walked in and laughed. “She has her period, so it was probably uneventful.” Tessa instinctively smacked him in the stomach as he walked by, her jaw dropped when she realized she had hit him. “Oh God, I’m sorry,” she turned bright red. Landon laughed loudly, “No… I completely deserved that.” He walked up and put his arm around her. “It’s the hormones right?” he whispered. She laughed. “You think it’s funny now. You’re in for a rude awakening when you have three in the house all at the same time and you have to deal with it.” “I am not looking forward to that. But that tree fort can be modified” Landon smiled. “Tessa Ross, I like you.” Lucas walked in the room and saw his Dad smiling at Tessa with his arm around her shoulder. “Wow, what’s going on here?” “Well, I was just telling Tessa she’d better hurry up and cook me breakfast,” Landon smiled. “And I was just going to teach your Dad how to make breakfast,” Tessa shot back. “What do you mean? I made it yesterday.” “Yeah… okay,” she giggled. Audrianna came downstairs and laughed when she saw Landon and Lucas making breakfast, Tessa was sitting on a stool near them telling them what to do as she and Jade laughed. “Wow, you’re actually cooking breakfast today?” Audrianna smiled. “What do you mean?” Landon said. “Did you think I didn’t know?” “Busted,” Jade said, and they all laughed. The girls bound through the doorway with their dolls and hugged Lucas. He smiled and sat down and let them tell him all about the tea party and photo shoot. “Tessa, would you read this and tell me what you think?” Jade handed her the letter she had written that she intended on reading at the sentencing that was on Friday for the drunk driver that had hit them and killed Tommy. Tessa sat and read the four- page letter and tears rolled down her face. Lucas looked over at her and asked Jade what was up. She told him, and he hugged her. “You okay?” Lucas asked Jade “I will be. He can’t walk for this Lucas, he just can’t,” Jade started to cry. Tessa finished the letter and looked at Jade, who was hugging Lucas. “It’s perfect Jade,” she said quietly. Ryan, Phoebe, and Alex walked in. They all had their bags packed. “Is everything alright?” Ryan asked looking at Jade. She shook her head no and stood up and walked towards him, and he hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him and cried. “Jade you and this little one are going to get through all this I promise,” Ryan told her. The way he looked at her did not go unnoticed. Lucas looked at Tessa and him back at her, she smiled softly, and he hugged her. “Good morning Baby,” he kissed her head.
“Good morning,” she looked up at him. *** When they got to the state line, Lucas pulled over and asked Tessa to drive. He wanted to read the letter Jade would be reading tomorrow at the sentencing. Tessa checked to see if he was alright frequently. She held his hand. “Both hands on the wheel, Baby,” he kissed it before she let go. He finished and folded it up and put it in the envelope. He sat back and stared out the window. He could not believe this had happened. What a year, so much had gone on, his senior year was nothing like he expected. If not for Tessa and the fact that he had gotten to know his sisters and even his father better, he knew things would not be good. He would more than likely be sharing a room with his mother. *** They pulled in and dropped Ryan and Phoebe off. Then they drove to the farm. Tessa pulled in, and Lucas jumped out to help them carry their things in. When everything was in the house, Tessa looked at him and hugged him. He hugged her and kissed her head. They stood there for a long time. “Tessa I’m going to take off for a while, okay?” “Oh okay, do you want me to come?” “No, I’m just going to do some stuff around my place.” “Well, I can help.” “No Tessa, I will call you later okay?” he walked out the door. Her phone chimed, and it was him - home safe and sound… Love you, Lucas - okay, sorry if I was pushy Lucas… Love Me - Tessa I just needed a few minutes, you know, big day tomorrow… Love you, Lucas - Just wish you’d let me help, see you later… Love Me Tessa walked out of the bathroom, and Jade sat on the couch. “Want to watch a movie?” she asked. “I would love to,” she flopped back on the couch. *** The next day Lucas pulled in as Tessa was making breakfast. Her heart beat fast when he walked in. He was wearing a suit and he looked gorgeous, she didn’t know if she was mad at him or not, he didn’t text or call the rest of the night. Lucas walked in and grabbed her and kissed her, he stopped for a moment. “God Tessa it’s good to see you, I missed you,” he kissed her harder and ran his hand down her back slowly. He pulled away and looked at her darkened eyes. “I think you missed me too,” he smiled and kissed her again. “Where were you, I was worried about you?” she asked after she composed herself. “I was home Tessa.” “Were you alone?”
“Of course, I was,” Lucas scowled and stepped back. She turned around and made him a plate and sat it in front of him. “I’m going to shower,” Tessa walked out of the kitchen. When she returned, Jade was reading the letter again. She rubbed her back and did the dishes. Ryan walked in, and Tessa looked at the clock, “I think it’s time to go.” Jade stood and hugged Lucas, “That was beautiful.” “Tessa you don’t have to go,” Lucas said dismissively. “Oh, I’m sorry I just assumed,” Tessa felt a sharp pain in her chest. “I think she should,” Jade looked at Lucas “I don’t have to.” Tessa tried acting as if it wasn’t a good deal. Lucas grabbed her hand, “Let’s go.” “Lucas can I read the letter?” she asked and rubbed his back. He stiffened, “How about you drive?” *** The drive there was very quiet. She needed to keep it together. Today wasn’t about them, but she knew things between them were changing and she didn’t know why. They pulled in, and she went to park. “There’s a spot closer Tessa, Jade shouldn’t have to walk all that way,” Lucas snapped. Tessa pulled up in front of the courthouse and smiled, “You guys can get out here I will park and meet you in there.” She walked in, and they were sitting with Tommy’s family. She sat in the back. She listened to Jade’s letter and breathed slowly so that she wouldn’t cry. Lucas was next. “Hello, I am Lucas Links, Tommy, and I have been best friends since we were eight years old. I want you all to know about who Tommy was, or is. Tommy has always been the only person in this world who no matter what would be there for me without judgment. He loved life, and he was an amazing man. He was kind and caring. He would always help anyone he thought needed it, even if they didn’t ask… he would offer. He went to church every week and even dragged me along from time to time. Tommy was an athlete and a good student, he had a beautiful life and a beautiful future planned. Tommy never drank and drove; in fact he was the one who took care of those who might.” Lucas took a deep breath and his eyes darted to the bus driver, “This man put every person at risk on that bus and on the road that night and statistics can prove that it was more than likely not his first offense. Just the first time he got caught. What this man did to Tommy, his family, his friends, his girlfriend Jade, and his future family is irreversible. I beg you to understand the loss we all are dealing with. Jade wakes every night crying for him. I have a very hard time myself sleeping. I blame myself for his death; I was the one who wanted to go that night. Had we left earlier, or a few minutes later we would not be here right now. Had the car been just a little bit further ahead, it would have been me, and he still would have been here. The hell we go through every day, the hell we go through every night, we will go through for the rest of our lives without Tommy. He needs to pay and receive the strictest punishment allowed by law, and then let God do the rest. Thank you for your time.” Tessa looked at him as he walked back towards them, his eyes were red. He briefly glanced at her and sat back down. The bus driver received the maximum sentence. Tessa stood by the door and watched as Tommy’s family, Jade, and Lucas, cried and hugged. They walked towards Tessa, “I’ll go get the car,” she said softly. Tessa pulled up, and they all got in. Jade sat in the front. The drive home was silent. Tessa looked in the mirror, and Lucas had on sunglasses, his head was resting on his hand as he stared out the window. Tessa pulled in the farm and they all got out. She watched Lucas hug Jade and Ryan. He got in the SUV
and left. Tessa walked into the bathroom and melted. *** Jade asked if she could give her a ride to Tommy’s. Mrs. Lane had called and wanted her to come over and stay the night. Tessa dropped her off and drove home. Phoebe was at the farmhouse with Alex. Tessa told them about the sentencing and that Jade was at Tommy’s for the night. “Well, where is Lucas?” Phoebe asked, and Tessa started to cry. She told her about the night before and about his letter. That he blames himself, and she was sure he blamed her. Phoebe hugged her, and Tessa decided to go for a run. She was gone about two hours and came home and checked her phone, he had texted her. - I’m hanging out at home tonight see you soon…Lucas She texted back - I’m sorry Lucas, please don’t shut me out… LOVE Me - Not about you Tessa… get over it… Lucas She took a shower and cried and decided to go to his house. Tessa knocked on the door, and a guy she didn’t know answered it. Tessa walked in, and there was a bunch of people there. She searched for Lucas, and he was sitting on the couch with a couple girls and he was messed up. Tessa turned to walk away hoping he didn’t see her. She ran out and jumped in the Jeep, he followed her. “Tessa what are you doing here?” Lucas asked pissed off. “I’m leaving, have a good time Lucas,” she said and started to put it in reverse he took the keys out and threw them into the yard. “Get out now,” he hissed and opened the door grabbing her arm. She yanked away from him and went to look for her keys. Lucas saw them and grabbed them. “Give me my keys, Lucas,” she said shaking and feeling tears filling her eyes. “What did you expect when you came here Tessa?” he snapped. “Not this,” she grabbed for her keys fighting back the urge to cry. He stormed towards the pool and threw them in. “Not very warm in there Tessa, probably should wait until they float up.” Tessa was so full of emotions; she was hurt, confused, and very, very angry. “Nothing to say Tessa?” “Yeah, keys don’t fucking float!” She kicked off her shoes and jumped in after them, it was cold. She got out, everyone from inside stood by the pool. Lucas stood by the stairs, and he extended his hand and she ignored it. “Hey, everyone this is Tessa, my girlfriend,” he laughed. He grabbed her arm, and she yanked it away. He grabbed her around her waist and carried her towards the door. “Let me go Lucas before I flip out,” she said in a low angry voice. “Please excuse her she’s on the rag. Tessa gets a little bit cranky this time of the month,” he said, and everyone laughed. She tried to hit him, and he grabbed her hand. He carried her up the stairs and walked into his room. “You better get changed Baby, we have guests,” Lucas smiled as he took her keys. “I’m going home Lucas!”
“No way Tessa, my friends need to meet you,” he shot daggers out of his eyes. “Lucas, please give me my keys,” she asked as a tear finally fell. “No Tessa, you came here, now you can stay. I might need you later,” he ran his fingers over her lips. She bit him hard. He pulled his hand back as if he were going to slap her. “Lucas what are you doing?” she cried. “Don’t fucking bite me again, got it?” he said and she ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He banged on the door, “Open the door Tessa or I’ll break it DOWN.” She believed he would. She unlocked it and walked out. He grabbed her and dragged her in the closet and threw clothes at her. “Get changed,” he demanded. “Leave the room,” she shot back at him. “Not like I haven’t already seen it all!” “Get a good look because I can guarantee you won’t again! This is unacceptable Lucas, we are done!” “Perfect, number fourteen has got to be down there somewhere,” Lucas laughed. He took her keys and phone with him when he left. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of another scene. She changed and lay down and cried herself to sleep. She woke when he walked in; she tried to pretend she was asleep. “I know you’re awake. If you try to leave, I’ll come get you and shit maybe you can add that to the list of tragedy left in the wake of Tessa, the Terrible!” “I want to go home, give me my keys.” “Nope,” he said. “I already texted your brother, he’s going to cover for you.” “I want to go home.” He went and showered and came out and threw on some boxers. He lay down next to her. “Anything to say, Tessa?” “I already said what I wanted to say, and you’re too fucked up to listen.” He sat up and grabbed her. She shook and shook. “Always the victim, huh?” “Please, let me go.” He lay down and pulled her next to him and held her, “No you’re where you wanted to be, you didn’t come here to go home Tessa.” Lucas fell asleep. She would wait until he was sound asleep before she left. Her shaking was out of anger — she wasn’t afraid of him. Tessa fell asleep, and when she woke he was gone, it was two in the morning. She walked around the room trying to find her keys, and they weren’t there. She walked downstairs and into the kitchen to see if they were in there and they were not. Lucas was standing against the counter in his boxers with his arms crossed looking down. When he heard her, he looked up and searched her face for a reaction. “I want my keys, Lucas.” “Tessa give me a few minutes… please,” he walked towards her. She backed up, and he stopped. “Tessa I want to talk.” “You’ve said enough, I get it, I get it all. I just wish you had said it all before last week when, well it doesn’t matter. I get it, and I want to go home now.” “Ten minutes Baby,” he said trying to grab her hand. “Don’t touch me,” she stepped back. “Okay, just come sit for ten minutes please,” he asked his eyes full of pain. She sat, and he stared at her, “Damn it, I’m sorry. I really am. Please look at me Tessa, I was fucked up…and I promise it won’t happen again.” “No, actually on the way home from what I thought was an amazing time at your family, you were not
fucked up Lucas. When you were rude to me this morning you were quite sober, when you treated me horribly today, you were not fucked up. When you read your speech at court, I kind of got it. I wanted to help you through this, but the problem is it's me you blame, and I get that too. What I don’t get Lucas is why you couldn’t talk to me. Why this thing with you and I happened, when you so obviously hate me. What you have managed to accomplish today is amazing. You have made me the reason for a horrible accident that no one could have stopped. You have rubbed my face into how worthless you think I am by, not wanting me by your side. You have told people I’m on the rag! In less than a week, you’ve shown me what it’s like to be one of thirteen and tonight you told me you were moving on to fourteen. You’ve held me here against my will, and you expect me to be okay with that? I’m sorry for whatever shit I’ve brought into your life you self- centered, pompous ass, but I won’t take that from you anymore, now give me my keys,” she stood up. “Is it my turn yet, Tessa!” “No, actually it’s not; you’re not going to change for me or anyone else. You don’t want someone to love and who loves you. So give me my keys, or I’ll walk.” His eyes filled with tears, “Please Tessa, please. I love you.” “You may think that right now but Lucas you don't. I know you’re hurting, I just don’t know how to help when you keep pushing me away. I don’t know if I even want to try anymore.” He closed his eyes and looked down, “I don’t know how to deal with him being gone. I’m pissed at myself for, not saying let’s do something else, that night. But I knew I wanted to stop you Tessa from fucking that…” “He and Jade were coming with or without you, Lucas.” “I could’ve stopped him. He would’ve stayed here. I wanted to go! It was my fucking fault, and…I’m pissed that I watched him die and couldn’t help him,” he sat back and covered his face with his hands and let out a deep breath. “And now I’m pissed at myself for hurting you — again.” She wanted to hug him, but she was still angry. She sat there and watched the boy she loved, crumble… and she didn’t even hug him. “Tessa — your keys are in the top drawer of my dresser. I’m sorry for being horrible to you. I fuck up everything. My family, every girl I’ve ever been with… Tommy was my fucking best friend and if I never knew him… he’s dead because of me Tessa. I’ll do the same shit to you, so yeah you should fucking run,” he got up and wiped is eyes, “I’ll go get them.” He walked down the stairs and handed them to her. She walked out the door and got in the Jeep, he stood in the doorway. She turned to check behind her, and he squatted down and buried his face in his knees. She saw him, and her heart broke. She shut off the Jeep and walked back up to him. He looked up at her. “You’re a complete idiot! None of those things happened because of you Lucas! Tommy saw that, I saw that. God you need to stop this… this… don’t ever do that to me again,” she hugged him. “I won't,” he hugged her. He followed her inside, and they went upstairs. She lay down, and he cautiously lay next to her. She turned to her side and put her arms across his chest. “I Love you, Lucas.” “Thank you, Tessa. I love you,” Lucas fell asleep. She lay there wondering if this would ever be right as she drifted to sleep. She woke to him thrashing and moaning. “Lucas, wake up,” he continued, “Lucas, please wake up.” She remembered what he did for her, and she kissed him until he calmed down. He didn’t wake and still thrashed. She climbed on top of him and kissed him. “Oh, Tessa I’m so sorry baby.”
She took his hands and raised them above his head and kissed him again. When she knew he was awake, she lay next to him and hugged him. “You okay?” “Yes, thank you,” Lucas was embarrassed and Tessa rubbed his back until he seemed to relax. They lay quietly, side by side when he finally sat up and looked at her. “I need you to know I’m sorry, Tessa.” “Okay.” “No, it’s not, you don’t trust me. I know that I’ve hurt you, I love you and I need you to know that. You’re being polite and sweet, when I just know you’re pissed. So please just talk to me,” he said with urgency in his voice. “Would you have talked to me about this blame you’re placing on me, and on yourself?” “No, probably not,” he let out a deep breath and rested his arm across his eyes. “Then how can I trust you? If I hadn’t come here Lucas what would you have done?” she asked, “If you can’t talk to me then what are we doing?” “I won’t keep anything from you Tessa, and if you feel I am, kick my ass. We’ll be fine, better than fine.” “Okay and if you’re concerned with my behavior… let me know.” “Can I hug you?” “No,” she said and threw herself back. He sat with his head hung. “Sarcasm, Links.” “Thank God,” he hugged her. “Are we going to get through this?” “We shall see,” she smiled. “That wasn’t very reassuring.” “I want to.” “Me too,” Lucas said, “But I need you to tell me, Tessa.” “Sure were good, but,” she stood up “I need to get home before my Dad knows I am gone.” He stood up and walked over and grabbed her keys. They went downstairs, and he grabbed her clothes out of the dryer. “Here, you might want to change,” he said looking in her eyes. Do it Tessa she thought. She took off his shorts and put her underwear and pants on. She glanced up, and his mouth was slightly opened. She took his shirt off and threw it at him and put on her bra. She pulled her shirt over her head and looked at him. His eyes were smoldering. “Walk me out?” He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths and took her hand. They got to the Jeep, and he hugged her. “That was not nice, Tessa.” “Oh, I’m sorry, you seemed to want your clothes back, so I gave them to you.” “Tessa will you please come back inside?” he asked politely. “Sorry bud… I need to go.” “So is your… you know over?” “Yes actually, it was yesterday,” she smirked. “Call me later if you want to talk.” She grinned as she got in the Jeep; she motioned for him to come over and kissed him. She turned in her seat facing him and rubbed his belly. His went up her shirt and he groaned as he kneaded her breast. She pulled away and started the jeep and backed out. She waved goodbye and drove away. She got home and snuck in and went upstairs. Her phone chimed
- Are you home?... Love Lucas - Just got in… Love Tessa - When can I see you?...Love Lucas - Cleaning and laundry today…Love Tessa - Can we go out to dinner tonight?... Love Lucas - I actually was thinking about hanging out with Kendall, Jake, and Alex, I miss them. Batting practice, baseball starts soon and then a drive in… Love Tessa - Am I being punished? Truth Tessa… Love Lucas - No, I just think you and I may need to slow it down a bit. We don’t have a chance to miss one another, and maybe that’s a problem for us, and I really do miss them… Love Tessa - I miss you now, does that count?... Love Lucas - Sure, do you want to come with us?... Love Tessa - Yes, please… Love Lucas - Three o’clock don’t be late… Love Me *** Lucas went to Church on Sunday and had dinner with them. He pitched to the kids after dinner and hit some balls as well. The kids were having a blast and so was Tessa. Lucas was trying but seemed very frustrated. “You trying out for softball? Baby… you can hit,” he smiled. “Yes, of course, are you trying out for baseball?” The kids ran ahead and were almost in the house. “I’m not sure; I’ve always played just not sure I want to.” “That’s too bad, I bet your butt looks great in those pants,” she grabbed his ass. “Tessa don’t touch baby until you’re ready.” “Seriously unfair,” she moved her hand to his back. “How long am I on punishment Tessa?” “Oh, I didn’t think this was punishment Lucas,” took her hand away from his back. “Ok, my bad,” he put his hand on her ass “This will look fine in uniform,” he rubbed his hand down her butt and grabbed it as he whispered in her ear. She looked at him as he continued to rub her backside. Her eyes fluttered. “See? Punishment Tessa.” “Lucas, that’s not why,” she closed her eyes. “Tell me why then,” he asked softly as he kissed her neck. “I miss you, I miss talking to you. It seems like all that pulls us farther apart,” Tessa looked concerned. “Tessa it won’t, I promise,” he kissed her. “Okay,” she whimpered, “Tomorrow after practice I want to go back to your place.” “How about now, baby?” he asked kissing the base of her neck. “After practice,” she pulled away smiling. He pulled back and looked at her and laughed, “You trying to get me to try out?”
“Yes, I really want to see that butt in those pants,” she kissed him. He pulled away “What if I promise now?” he asked his eyes blazing. “Oh no, I’m enjoying this too much,” Tessa smiled. “What? Driving me crazy?” he asked looking as if he was in pain. “No, seeing you want me again.” “I never didn’t want you. I never didn’t love you… do you understand that?” “Then what’s one day?” “Twenty- four hours of feeling like this?” “Okay truth, it’s Sunday, and I feel bad anyway about you know, and it’s Sunday,” she looked down. “Tessa I’m going to be with you forever, I don’t think God is mad at you.” “How do you figure?” He looked up “God I love her, I want her forever, permission, please. Did you hear that?” She smiled, “No.” “He said you had to say the same,” Lucas smiled. Her face turned red. “Oh, I see you can’t.” “God I love Lucas and am going to be his forever.” “No lightning, no booming voice.” She looked at him, “Did you hear that? He said wait until tomorrow.” “You are impossible,” he yelled. “Kiss me,” she smiled and he did. She walked him to his car and hugged him. He lightly bit her neck. She breathed out loudly. “See, you want me Tessa.” “Yes Lucas and I feel the same way every time I look at you, even before we… yah know, I love you, go home and take care of that,” she blushed and started to walk away. “Hey baby?” “Yes?” “I just wanted to remind you, our first time was a Sunday,” Lucas winked. “Wow, I never…” Tessa gasped. “Yeah, that’s things chicks are supposed to remember, kind of embarrassed that I did, and you didn’t,” he laughed. Tessa closed her eyes. “No big deal. I love you anyway. I’m going to go home and take care if this.” Tessa kissed him, “I love you.” She turned and walked away. He watched her walk in and finally left.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN For the next week every day after Tessa’s practice she watched Lucas finish his. His butt definitely looked good in those pants. They both played the same positions, shortstop and played hard. After practice, they played harder. They both were named captain of their team. In school, they laughed and smiled together. Everything was perfect. Saturday the girls went Prom dress shopping and met the three boys for dinner after. Tessa showed Lucas a few pictures she had taken in the dressing room and came to one of her in a black bustier with a whip; his eyes not only lit up but caught fire immediately. “That’s the one baby,” he grinned wickedly. Jade and Phoebe laughed knowing what she had just shown him. He grinned and looked down. “Hey, Alex want to see a picture of your sister’s prom dress?” he asked raising his eyebrow at her. “Sure.” He snatched the phone from Tessa’s hand before she could protest. “Tessa, you’re not in reality going to wear that are you?” Alex scowled at her. “I can’t believe you just did that,” she hissed at Lucas. “I might Alex… I just might.” “Maybe after the prom, you aren’t wearing it there,” Lucas glared at her. Tessa gave him a look as to say try me, and he laughed. “Jade what did you get?” Ryan asked. “Oh, I just looked, I’m really not sure I’ll go.” “Why not?” Ryan asked. “No date, except the little bump in my belly.” “Have you asked anyone?” Ryan asked. “No, seriously who would go with me? Do you want to Ryan?” she laughed. “Absolutely,” Ryan smiled. “You really would?” “For you Jade, anything,” Ryan winked at her. She laughed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, final answer, just tell me what to wear.” “You can borrow Tessa’s dress;” Alex laughed “She isn’t going to be allowed out in it.” “I want that picture baby,” Lucas said his nose flaring. She laughed, “Why, so you can show my parents?” “No, that’s all for me,” he moved his hand up her leg under the table. They finished and went back out to the store. Jade was excited to try on dresses. They all fit snugly across her belly, she was not happy. “On a positive note Jade with your boobs being so big, I really don’t think anyone is going to pay any attention to the bump,” Phoebe laughed. Tessa came back with a wrap, she draped it around Jades shoulders, and it hung perfectly down her belly. “Look Jade you look beautiful,” Jade closed her eyes and hugged Tessa and Phoebe, “Perfect, huh?” she said and Jade shook her head yes. All three of the guys were in the hot tub when they returned from dress shopping. They got changed and went out. “Did you find one?” Ryan asked.
“Yes, hot pink,” Jade smiled. “I have to wear hot pink?” “Black Tux, hot pink tie” Jade laughed. He looked relieved. “Alright Phoebe what do I need?” “Black” Phoebe smiled, “I got the one Tessa tried on, remember? You saw it.” Alex’s jaw dropped, and Tessa laughed. Phoebe smiled, “Joking, but it is black, and you’ll see it at prom.” “Ok, Tessa, which one was it?” Lucas asked. “None of them, I have a swatch for you to take and match your tie with.” Sunday they went to church and dinner after at the Ross house. Lucas left after dinner to go visit his mom. The visit went well, and she would be home next week. He told her that he and Tessa were back together, and she looked relieved. He drove home that night and went in the house. There was a poster size picture of Tessa minus the head, she had blown up and framed. He grinned, all mine he thought. She was just getting into bed and her phone chimed - Just got home, you awake… LOVE Lucas - Yes, how was your visit? … Love Tessa - Good, but nothing compared to my homecoming present, can you please come over right now… Love Lucas - No bud it’s Sunday, by the way, I have no idea what you’re talking about… Love you, go to sleep. Tessa - Sunday shmunday we already established that was no longer a valid excuse! I’m picking you up in the morning… early… Love Lucas - Nope, after practice… Love you Tessa - You're killing me…Love Lucas, who, by the way, may be a bit blue in the morning - I am sure it can’t happen overnight you have two perfect hands, perfect…hmm maybe I will come over… no, its bedtime see you in the morning… Love Tessa, who BTW can't wait to see you, shake that booty at practice - UUUGGGHHH missing you already. Goodnight… Love Lucas. *** The week went the same as the one before. Things between them were amazing. Lucas had told Tessa that he talked Sadi into going to a different school the day she was waiting in the office. He was opening up to her more and more every day. *** Tessa snuck into his house and woke Lucas up on Saturday morning. “Good morning baby,” he groaned as she came up from under the blanket, “my turn.” She was lying in the same spot he left her when he got out of the shower, “I love you.” “I’m absolutely not complaining, and you can use that key I gave you anytime, but at six on a Saturday morning baby?”
“I missed you.” “Can we go to sleep for a couple more hours, please?” he pulled her on top of him. “Hmm, round two?” “If you’re up for it,” he smiled. “I am as long as you promise to help me after,” she smiled and kissed him. “Can we sleep… just for an hour?” he asked as she kissed his neck. “Uh huh.” He woke up to hearing music downstairs. He walked down, and she smiled. “I made breakfast, yours is in the microwave.” He saw a bucket of water and cleaning supplies. “What are we doing today?” he scowled “I thought we could clean for an hour and then go to your room for an hour and just keep going back and forth. What do you say?” “Alright sounds good, all except for the cleaning part. I can hire someone to do that.” “Stop whining boy,” she laughed. They cleaned the downstairs in less than an hour. Then upstairs, four hours later they had finished cleaning and were absolutely exhausted. Tessa sat up on him and smiled, “Hey stud, now it’s the lawn.” “Tessa I have never been worn out before, six hours later and MY legs feel like Jell- O,” he laughed and pulled her into his arms. “Well, if you want to lie here all day, you go ahead. I’m going to be outside,” she smiled and jumped up. “Just like this,” she walked down the stairs and he heard the door shut. Lucas jumped up and went to the window, holy shit she is as wild as I imagined he laughed and grabbed her clothes off the floor. He ran down the stairs throwing shorts on. He sprinted outside and grabbed her, she started laughing. He threw a shirt on over her head and Tessa laughed harder. “Seriously a twist here, you’re putting clothes on me?” he swooped her up and carried her in the house over his shoulder. Tessa laughed the entire way in. He sat her on the counter and kissed her, she pulled away, “Down boy.” Lucas stood back and looked at her “I cannot believe you’re the same girl I fell in love with eight months ago.” She looked at him with questioning eyes. “The way you love Tessa, is amazing. I’m so glad — no — I’m blessed to have you in my life, wait right here please,” he ran upstairs and came back down. “Tessa I know you have said several times that you’re only eighteen. I also know you were put here for me to love forever,” Lucas took her hand and helped her off the counter, “I love you and will forever Tessa Ross, you have changed me inside. I don’t want to ever go back,” Lucas took a deep breath. He opened a Tiffany box that had a beautiful platinum diamond ring; it was princess cut and quite large. He looked at her face, and she looked scared and happy at the same time. “Promise me that when you’re ready, whenever that is, I want to take this ring and put it on your left hand, but today I ask that you let me put it on your right,” Lucas watched her and a smile formed on her face. She jumped up and hugged him, he put her down. “Will you marry me someday, baby?” Tessa shook her head and held out her hand, and her feet began to move. Lucas smiled as he put a ring on her finger as she did a little happy dance. Lucas picked her up and carried her upstairs. He kissed her gently, and for the first time she felt like they were actually making love. It was sweet and slow and more kissing. He was gentle and loving. And when they finished together she felt complete. She sat up and looked at him, “Lucas, that was beautiful.” “I think so too baby.”
*** Sunday dinner at the Ross’s Lucas sat and held her hand and stared at her. Jade thought it was odd until she saw him kiss her hand and she smiled at him. “Holy Shit!” “Jade,” John scolded. “Oh, I’m sorry, but did you see Tessa’s freaking ring?” Everyone looked. Tessa smiled and held it out. “So what does this mean Lucas,” John asked. “Well, it means that when she is ready to say yes, I can put it on her left hand,” Lucas said quietly. “Tessa… has your mother seen that yet?” “No, Daddy,” she whispered. “Good, that damn thing is bigger than the one I gave her when we’d been married for fifteen years.” Alex and Jade laughed. “When did you buy that?” Jade asked. “When I went to visit my Dad in October,” he swallowed hard. “Wow, that was a long time ago, why did you just give it to her now?” “Well, some things came up,” he said and shook his head smirking. “How the hell did you pay for it?” Jade asked. “Jade really?” Tessa closed her eyes. “No, it’s alright Tessa. I’ve worked for my Dad every summer since I was fifteen. I’ve saved the money, never needed it before,” Like answered and laughed. “It did kind of suck when I thought I would never be able to give it to her.” *** On Prom night, Ryan and Lucas rolled into the driveway in a stretch Limo. Lucas got out, and Tessa saw him from the window. He looked amazing. He walked in the door and looked at her and smiled his big bright smile. “You look absolutely gorgeous.” Tessa’s dress was a shimmery deep lavender; the top was a bustier, a lot like the one in his poster. It laced in the back. Her hair was swept to one side with a few loose curls hanging on the opposite side. They looked at each other and smiled. His eyebrow started to rise, and she laughed. Jade came out in a low cut hot pink dress that fit her perfectly. Jade’s dark hair was in a high French twist. Ryan had shaved, and his hair was styled: his green eyes took her in as he shook his head. “Jade — you look absolutely beautiful,” Ryan's eyes fell to her breasts. She smacked him, and he laughed. “You put them out there; I’m simply admiring the scenery.” “Ryan, you clean up pretty damn good,” Jade laughed. Phoebe walked out and had on a long black gown that fit her like a glove, she had a great body with curves in all the right places. Her hair was up in curls that flowed down the back of her head. Tessa looked at Alex — he clenched his jaw and took in a very deep breath. Tessa had never seen Alex react like that. “Phoebe, you look beautiful,” kissed her. “Wow,” Phoebe said when he stopped. Tessa smiled at her and turned back to Lucas whose eyes never left her. She looked at him and smiled. He finally saw her smiling at him. “Like the dress Lucas?” she whispered in his ear.
“Yes very much, I can’t wait to undo those laces,” he bit his lower lip, “Mmm mm mm.” Jade was voted Prom Queen and Tessa was so happy. She whistled and cheered as Jade went up to receive the crown stunned and giggling the whole time in disbelief. She was not even sure she would be going. Becca was first on court. The next few weeks flew with ball, school, and finals. Graduation was here, and Alex, Tessa, Jade and Lucas decided to have their parties together. Lucas’ father was opposed to it, but that didn’t matter to Lucas. Lucas and Alex both received letters from many schools. Alex was valedictorian and Lucas salutatorian. Alex chose Cornell and received a scholarship. Ryan was accepted to SUNY Cortland, and he would be playing ball there. Lucas received several acceptance letters and chose SU. Jade and Tessa both decided to start at community colleges. Tessa knew how expensive Cornell would be for her parents and wasn’t sure what she wanted to do yet, anyway. Tommy’s family also received a letter from Syracuse. He would have been attending SU and playing ball if fate had not chosen otherwise. At the end of year sports banquet, Tommy’s number sixty- eight was retired. It was a lovely ceremony that his family attended. The graduation ceremony was held outside in the football field. Alex and Lucas both spoke. There was an empty chair draped in black in the back row. It represented Tommy. Tessa held Jade’s hand most of the time only letting go when one of them had to wipe away their tears. Lucas’ mom Kate had met someone finally after all these years that Lucas thought she might be with for a long time. He was one of the counselors at Tully Hill. Everything was finally looking up for Lucas, and he was happy. Lucas and Tessa got in his SUV to meet the family. He started to unzip his robe, and she smiled. “You know I was watching you all covered up on stage, and I couldn’t help but think about what might be waiting for me under that robe, you drive, I want to check it out,” Lucas smiled, and she lifted his robe and winked. Tessa and Lucas met their families at the lakeside restaurant to celebrate after graduation. They had a great time. Ryan and Phoebe road with Alex, Jade had been spending a little more time at Tommy’s family home. His mother very much wanted to be close to Jade. Although it pained Jade to watch her cry, she did as she was asked. Tessa was very busy helping her Mom make salads while the men started the chicken outside. “How are things with you and Lucas?” Maggie asked. “Perfect Mom, I love him so much.” “You’re being safe right?” “Mom,” she said defensively. “What Tessa? Do you think I don’t see the way you two look at each other?” she asked. Lucas walked in the house, they smiled at each other. “Just like that,” she whispered, “Shall I ask him?” Tessa laughed, “Sure,” as Lucas hugged her from behind and kissed her head. “Good morning Mrs. Ross,” Lucas smiled. “Good morning Lucas, can I ask you a question?” Tessa’s jaw dropped. “Sure,” he smiled. “Have you and Tessa been being safe?” Lucas’s eyes widened and he stepped back from Tessa. “I’m not sure what you mean?” “Okay then, when you and my daughter have sex are you making sure to use protection?” Maggie asked looking at him.
“Mag’s,” John gasped in shock as he walked into the room. “Holy shit,” Tessa looked down. “Your mouth Tessa,” Maggie warned. “Well Lucas?” “Okay,” he paused, “Tessa and I love each other and we’re both pretty smart. I’ve known from a couple weeks after I met her that I felt that way. And to answer your question of course we are.” “Okay, have you been tested for disease Lucas?” Maggie asked. “Mom,” Tessa stomped her foot. “Jesus Mag’s! I’ll be outside… hiding,” John walked out the door. “Tessa its fine,” Lucas said. “Yes ma’am and Tessa went with me. I showed her the report. I’m free of all diseases, which I was pretty positive I was anyway. There was only one other person I have had sex with that I didn’t use a condom.” Maggie wasn’t expecting that, “Well how many people have you had sex with Lucas?” “Mom that's enough!” “Thirteen including your daughter,” Lucas answered looking her straight in the eyes. He watched her jaw drop, “I love Tessa and will be faithful to her, and I have been. I plan to marry her when she’s ready. I hope you believe me. I won’t lie to you. Is there anything else Mrs. Ross?” “No, Lucas, thank you for being honest,” Maggie walked into the other room. Tessa looked at him and closed her eyes, he hugged her. “I love you baby, it’ll be fine. I’m going outside to try to help… and avoid any ass kicking your father may give me.” “I love you Lucas.” Maggie came out and looked at Tessa. “Mom, do you have any more questions?” “No Tessa, you know your sister is saving herself for marriage right?” Tessa shook her head yes. “And Alex, oh Tessa has Alex?” “No Mom.” “Does he know about you,” Maggie asked. “Well yes, but it’s not like he has encouraged me,” Tessa said defending him, “and he knows that you put me on the pill.” “He didn’t force you did he?” Maggie asked. “No mom! I actually went to him the first time,” she said. “He’d turned me down before that.” “Does it make you uncomfortable?” Tessa tried not to smile, “No.” “So then it’s something you enjoy.” “Do you honestly want to know?” “Yes, I want to know that you’re not hurting or in pain,” Maggie started tearing up. “Well, pain and hurting was after my lovely exam,” Tessa glared at her. “With him,” she smiled. “It’s amazing.” “Alright I think I’ve heard enough,” Maggie said turning away. “Mom have you had sex with the Dr.?” Tessa asked trying to make her feel uncomfortable. “No Tessa, I haven’t had sex in almost a year.” “Well, how do you stop doing that? I can’t imagine,” Tessa said shocked. “You just do.” “And the Doctor is alright with that?” “Tessa I broke things off with him at Christmas time,” Maggie said, “I miss my family.” “Then come back, Mom.” “I don’t think I can.”
“Dad loves you; can’t you see the way he looks at you?” “Tessa I know your father, and he would never. I would demand counseling. I want to feel the way you do now. The passionate love forever, and he and I are way past that.” We shall see, Tessa thought and smiled “Okay mom,” she hugged her. “Tessa, please don’t tell your brother or father about this conversation.” “I won’t.” *** “John, I’m sorry,” Lucas said walking up to him nervously. “I’m not stupid,” John said as he basted the chicken. “Are you honestly sorry?” “If you’re angry I’m sorry. I love her and well, always will,” Lucas looked down. “Alright then, make sure you do,” John said. “We have a party to get ready for boy,” he said as he smacked him on the back. “It wasn’t in the hot tub was it?” “No, sir we haven’t done it there yet,” Lucas said and wished he could eat his words. Alex laughed out loud. John looked at Alex “Have you?” “No Dad… although I can’t say I haven’t wanted to,” Alex smiled. “You haven’t?” Lucas asked. “No Lucas, I’ve been waiting for you,” Alex laughed. “Well, at least someone’s getting some,” John said under his breath. The boys laughed. Tessa walked up and tapped her father on the back, “Daddy are you mad?” “Disappointed Tessa,” John said his face immediately changing. “But Dad, you just said you were happy someone was…” Alex started. “Enough son,” John said glaring at him. “And happy was not the word I used.” “Sorry Daddy.” “Good… don’t do it again,” he looked down. Tessa hugged him and walked away. *** Lucas’s family pulled in, and there was a steady pace of traffic for the rest of the day. They had a great time, dancing and laughing. Lucas and Tessa kept their distance for the first few hours. Maggie and John sat together and watched them exchange glances and smiles. “She loves him, Mag’s.” “I know.” “What are we going to do?” “Well, we can’t push her, she’s eighteen.” “I told her not to do it again,” he smiled. Maggie laughed, “And what did she say?” “Well, she hugged me and didn’t say a damn word,” he laughed. “Well, we didn’t raise a liar,” she laughed and grabbed his hand. His body stiffened, “Oh I’m sorry,” she said and went to pull her hand away. “Mag’s don’t be, you just caught me off guard,” he squeezed her hand. “We have four wonderful kids and one pain in the ass,” he laughed, “all perfect. We need to be able to be friends, right?” “Yes John, friends,” she whispered and looked at him. Ben’s family pulled in. Tessa saw them getting out and smiled. She saw Lucas stare at her and she
walked over to him, “We okay?” “Well, this very uncomfortable day just keeps getting more uncomfortable,” she hugged him. They watched as Ben helped a girl out of the car. Lucas looked at Tessa to see her reaction, she smiled. “You okay with that?” “Absolutely! I’m glad he is happy, can we go say hi?” Tessa’s feet started moving, and he shook his head yes. “Hey Ben,” Tessa hugged him. “Hello Tess,” Ben grinned and hugged her back. “Hello Links” he stuck his hand out to shake Lucas’s hand. Lucas shook it and smiled. Ben looked back at the tall curly haired blonde behind him. “This is Lauren,” Ben took her hand. “Hello,” Lauren smiled politely. “Tessa right?” “Yep,” Tessa hugged her. Lauren looked shocked, “I uh… recognized you from the videos on Ben’s page. You have an amazing voice.” “Thank you, and this is Lucas, my boyfriend,” Tessa smiled “I don’t know Tess — checkout that ring,” Ben winked. “What’s this mean?” “When she is ready we, we’ll switch hands, and then we’ll get married. When she’s ready,” Lucas repeated. “That is so sweet,” Lauren looked a bit relieved. Tessa and Ben both noticed and smiled at each other. They all walked toward the tents. “You’re both coming to mine next weekend, right?” Ben looked at Lucas. “Sure, sounds good,” Lucas said, “Is that alright with you, Baby?” he kissed Tessa on the head. “I’d love that,” Tessa smiled knowing that Lucas was trying. Ben spotted the Karaoke machine, “Links, you going to let Tess sing with me?” “If she wants to,” Lucas’s smile was guarded. Tessa walked up to Alex and Phoebe, “Ben’s here,” she smiled, “His girlfriend Lauren is with him, you should say hello.” Tessa walked into the house dragging Lucas behind her. She smiled as she passed some family and shut the kitchen door behind them. She looked at him, “We okay?” “I don’t know, are we?” Lucas searched her face. “Always Lucas,” kissed him. He was a little stiff, and she pulled back. “Please don’t do this.” “Do what?” he asked coolly. “That. I kiss you and you… I don’t know it just,” she said and let go of him and looked at him and stood waiting for him to say something. “Do you want him?” “No,” she laughed. “I don’t find it funny, why do you?” he asked crossing his arms in front of him. “It’s stupid Lucas, I love you and you know that.” “Your mouth was on his...” Lucas began. “Alright that was a mistake, and what were you doing before that with that brunette?” “Should I be angry about that?” she asked. “You would be if you saw me hugging her and acting all happy when I saw her ass. Or if I told you I could love her someday,” he said sternly. “Okay. I won’t talk to him if that’ll make you feel better. Because that’s not how I feel about him. He’s
my friend Lucas. I explained before that what I feel for you could not ever be with anyone else, but if you’re having reservations about my feelings for you, it makes me wonder why,” she turned to walk away. He grabbed her waist and pulled her into him. “I don't want to fight, baby.” “I don’t either Lucas, but I’ve never given you reason to think I’d be anything but faithful to you. You, on the other hand,” she stopped, “I forgave you.” “Tessa, I didn’t cheat on you,” he whispered. “But you would have, that’s the difference,” she said quietly. She turned around and looked at him, what she said stung him and she knew it. “Tessa I’m sorry, I trust you. I want to know that you trust me, too.” “I do now,” she whispered. He kissed her, and she kissed him back, their tongues met, he pulled her tighter to him. She pulled away, “We need to go back outside Lucas.” “Now?” he kissed her again. She smiled and pulled back, “Yes now, or we’ll be missing for a long time, and with my parents now on high alert I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “It can be quick, Baby,” Lucas kissed her slowly walking towards the stairs. “I don’t want quick,” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No?” Lucas bent down and lightly bit her breast. “Lucas,” Tessa moaned. They heard someone walking in, and she ran to the bathroom and shut the door. “We’re good, right?” he asked when she came out. “Yeah, real good,” she said, and they walked out hand in hand. It was getting dark, and John turned on the lights. The tents, dance floor and yard, were all lit up. Jade, Phoebe, and Becca were dancing. Lucas sat with his parents, and he was a bit on edge; it was weird to be sitting there with the four of them. Audrianna and Landon each held one of the sleepy girls on their laps. “How are you doing, Lucas?” “Good Dad,” he sat watching her dance. “How’re you feeling about Syracuse?” “Pretty excited,” he smiled and looked at him. “Excellent,” Landon smiled. A slow song played, and Tessa around, “Got to go.” He grabbed her, and they danced, slow and very close looking into each other’s eyes. “Do me a favor?” she asked him. “Anything,” he said his eyes locked on hers. “Go ask my Mom to dance?” “Oh wow, alright,” he kissed her and walked away. Tessa grabbed her Dad, and he danced with her. Lucas and Maggie came up beside them and danced. The song changed another slow one. “Dad I want to dance with Lucas, could you ask Mom to dance?” she turned to her Mom, “May I cut in?” John stood there looking at her, “Mag’s… dance with me?” “Sure,” she blushed. Tessa looked away and smiled at Lucas. “You’re very sneaky baby,” he smiled. “Well, I feel bad for them, they fell out of love. I’m pretty sure they can find their way back,” she giggled, “Plus neither of them has had sex in a year!” “Truth is you want them back together right?”
“Yes very much,” he pulled her close. “Look at my Dad’s eyes, he loves her. She never had sex with Dr. Feel Good, and she misses our family. But I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, so it’s top secret, alright?” “Testing one two,” came from the microphone. “Tess come sing for us,” Ben smiled. She looked up at Lucas “What should I do Lucas?” “Go sing for me baby,” he kissed her. Tessa went up and picked a song. She wanted to keep it slow so her parents would still dance. Tessa sang Eternal Flame and her parents continued dancing. Lucas grabbed Kendall, who shook her head no but caved. She sang and looked at Lucas the entire time. “Your turn, Ben.” He bound up and grabbed the microphone; he sang the song from the video he had posted on Facebook, Shimmer by Fuel. Tessa watched him and smiled. She looked for Lauren and went and dragged her to the dance floor with Phoebe, Becca, and Jade. She grabbed Kendall and kissed Lucas. He smiled and sat next to his Dad. Tessa was dancing with Kendall and Lucas’ sisters ran out to her, and she danced with them. The first verse finished, and Ben walked out and grabbed Lauren and winked at Tessa. He turned Lauren to him and danced with her. He walked back up towards the DJ and sang the chorus. Phoebe looked at Tessa and smirked. Tessa looked away. The song ended, and Tessa walked the girls over to Audrianna. “What was that about?” Audrianna whispered. “Nothing,” Tessa blushed. “Tessa, he winked at you,” she whispered. “I didn’t notice.” “Ok. You and Lucas alright?” “Absolutely,” she smiled. “Audrianna I have known Ben forever, there’s nothing. A failed attempt to stay away from Lucas, which I never wanted to do. Lucas knows, he just gets so angry, and I don’t want him to be. Ben and Lucas have exchanged blows once, I don’t want that again. I chose Lucas and would over and over and over again.” Audrianna looked up, “He’s standing right behind me isn’t he?” “Yes I am,” he pulled her up to him “I love you, baby.” She turned and smiled “Anyways?” “Yes, of course. Boy… are we going to have fun at his party,” he said smiled sarcastically. Audrianna smiled, “Thank God.” “Can I sing again?” “Yes, of course.” She went up and picked a song, she dragged Kendall with her. “No,” Kendall said. “Kendall you know this one,” she dragged her up. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John played. They did a duet and she sang to Lucas, and he smiled. He watched Tessa and Kendall being childish and laughed. All the older people were enjoying themselves, and she forced Kendall to sing Daniel. When they finished, Ben sang a couple Steve Miller tunes. Then asked Tessa to come sing with him, she looked at Lucas, and he smiled and mouthed, go. They sang Crocodile Rock and danced with the crowd and laughed. They threw in all the silly dance moves they could. When the song ended, they were trying to catch their breath and laughed. “Another one?” she asked Ben. “Not right now, I’ll save it for later,” he hugged her quickly and pointed towards Lucas “Go, he’s very
impatiently waiting.” She ran up to Lucas and jumped on him and kissed him. “Will you dance with me?” she asked. “Of course baby, anything you want.” “I left you a present in your back seat,” she smiled, “I want that later.” “How about now?” “Oh no, not now, too many people,” she laughed. “But feel free to go look if you want, but I’m not coming with you.” “Go dance, I’ll be right back,” Lucas said. Lucas came back, and his eyes were very dark and heated, she grinned at him. He tapped his wrist and mouthed let’s go. She shook her head no and laughed until her belly hurt it felt crampy. She walked fast into the house and went to the bathroom. Great, she thought. She walked out, and he was standing there. “Tessa everyone’s dancing, we could disappear for an hour, and no one would know baby, please.” She shook her head, “Not for a few days, Lucas.” “No way,” he banged his head against the wall. “Sorry,” she rubbed his head and laughed. “You didn’t know?” “Really Lucas, do you think if I knew I would have put that in your vehicle?” He laughed, “No… your appetite is bigger than mine, let’s go get some cake, baby.” She looked at him, “I’m sorry.” “For you or me?” he laughed. She pushed him away and he smiled. *** He brought her cake and pulled her on his lap. She snuggled into him, and he fed her cake. “We’re taking off, Mom and Dad are tired,” Ben laughed. “Where are you going to school Ben?” Lucas asked and fed Tessa another bite. “Ithaca, actually.” “Lauren did you graduate this year?” Lucas asked. “Yes, I’m going to Ithaca as well.” “Cool, Lucas is going to SU,” Tessa said, “Drive safe Ben.” “Of course, we’ll text you when we get home.” “Please do,” Lucas said, “Tessa worries about her friends.” They left, and Lucas finished feeding Tessa. She saw her parents watching them. She waved them over. “Hey, can Lucas spend the night?” she asked. “Tessa,” her father said warning her not to push. “What Dad, I have my period and anyway for some reason Lucas has a no hands policy when we’re here,” Tessa shrugged and took a bit of Lucas’s cake... “Fine… he can stay in Alex’s room… with the alarm,” John walked away flustered. Maggie walked with him, “You’re really okay with that?” “How do you say no to her?” John asked. “A no hands policy Tessa?” Lucas asked smiling. “I’m pretty sure it’s been your mouth in the house,” she laughed. “I can’t stay tonight, I told them I would stay with them at the hotel,” Lucas said as he played with her hair.
“You sure it’s not because of my condition,” she said sarcastically. “I’m very sure,” he ran his fingers across her lips. She turned around and smiled, “May I, please?” “Did you seriously just ask that?” “Oh sorry,” she said and buried her head against his chest. He lifted her chin and his eyes were heavy, “Baby, I wasn’t saying no. I just feel bad because I can’t.” She pulled him up and quickly grabbing another piece of cake walked towards the barn. “Why the cake, Babe?” he asked. “Chocolate cake and Lucas Links, yummy,” she smiled. “No shit?” he gasped. “None,” she laughed. They emerged from the barn smiling, and he kissed her. “Tessa Ross,” he smiled. She smiled back at him and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Lucas Links.” “Tessa Links,” he whispered. “Lucas Ross,” she said and laughed. “If that’s what it takes.” “Seriously?” “No!” he laughed.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN On Sunday, Molly insisted they go to church. During joys and concerns, Cory announced that Molly had accepted his proposal, and they would be married in August. “By the way, this isn’t a shotgun wedding,” he laughed. Molly’s jaw dropped. Tessa hugged her sister, “Wow Molly… that’s so exciting!” They went out to dinner to celebrate, at the lake again. Tessa’s parents sat next to each other. Lucas came in and kissed Tessa. He shook Cory’s hand and hugged Molly congratulating them. They talked about the fact that Molly would be transferring to a school twenty minutes from him, and they would look for an apartment soon. They just didn’t want to be apart anymore. They wanted a small wedding at the local state park and would honeymoon next year. “Mag’s why don’t you tell her?” John said. “Well, we have enough money saved for you to have a bigger wedding Molly,” she began. “Each of you has a savings grandma started when you were born. It was supposed to be for college, but your father and I have been able to manage that because you’re amazing students, and scholarships help. Which means Molly; you have about twenty- five thousand to play with. I think a small personal wedding would be great and when you two decide to buy a house you could use that as a down payment, but it’s yours so you can make the decision.” “Wow,” Molly said. “Okay, Cory and I will discuss it, but I think we will both agree that we truly want a very small wedding.” Cory nodded in agreement. “So how much do I have?” Jake asked. “Not as much as Molly does Jake, she is older. Interest and wise investing will help your cause though,” John laughed. Lucas and Tessa left. They drove to his house to hang out at the pool. “Work tomorrow, Mr. Links?” she asked. “Yeah,” he smiled. “I’m kind of excited about bossing people around.” “Really? You into dominating people?” Tessa asked. He laughed. *** They lay at the pool with his Mom and her new boyfriend all afternoon. Lucas took her out to dinner and brought her home. Her mother’s car was still there. “Come in with me?” she asked. “Tessa, I have to be up at four,” Lucas got out of the SUV, “I’ll walk you in.” “Stay with me?” she asked. “Let me get through this week, this schedule is going to kick my ass,” he kissed her. “Well, my schedule is pretty open for the next two weeks until I start work. I’m going to miss you,” she looked down. “No, you won’t, you can come have lunch with me every day. It’s only an hour I think we could get a lot accomplished, that is after your situation is resolved,” he laughed. “I am going to miss you Lucas,” Tessa felt a lump in her throat. “I’ve been able to see you at school every day with no more than a forty- five minute break between each time. This is going to be so hard.”
“We’ll get through it and see each other often,” Lucas laughed. “I did ask you to move in, and you told me no, offer’s still on the table. Think about it. I got to go baby, it’s ten. Six hours of sleep is going to suck.” She smiled “Suck?” “I’m going to text you tomorrow. I want you to come to lunch, I love you,” he quickly kissed her and got in his car. Tessa stomped in the house. Her parents sat at the table. She smiled and kissed them both. “Goodnight…oh you two should check out the hot tub,” she skipped up the stairs. She grabbed the laptop, a graduation gift from her parents. Ben had posted pictures of the party on Facebook. He tagged her in it. She had a friend request from Lauren, she accepted it. There was a great picture of her and Lucas dancing and tons of her and the girls. Her phone chimed, and it was him: - Baby I’m home and really wish I had taken you up on that offer, I miss you already!... LL (Which means Love Lucas… easier that way) - Miss me or my hot mouth? Glad your home safe… LT - You’re so bad… but both! Switch those letters around way hotter… LL - very funny, I love you, I want you, I miss you, add some extra L’s to your sign off and well let’s just say if I close my eyes I picture your tongue making me very happy… LT - come to lunch tomorrow? Noon? LL - go to bed! I could have been almost finished with you by now!... LT - LUNCH?!?! … LL - Hmm, I’m not sure I am a very busy girl you know… LT - I will text you the address tomorrow, sweet dreams dream girl… LL - awe so sweet, sweet dreams to you, sex slave… LT - seriously I need to sleep, and this is not helping…LL - Rock a bye baby, with me on top… LT - I’m shutting my phone off, you are being wicked!… LL - There’s a whip in your backseat… maybe I need to be spanked?… LT - Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Very frustrated… LL - Good, now you know how I feel…how I feel Lucas... LT - Baby I really need to sleep, I need to be on top of things tomorrow… LL - Hmm… LT - What… LL - you said on top of things… LT - Tessa, please baby… LL
- I will just take things into my own hands…that’s what I am doing right now… LT - Tessa stop... LL - Oh no, I’m almost there Lucas… LT - You better not without me! You’re pissing me off Tessa… LL - okay I’m sorry I love you Lucas, good night… LT - much better, Lunch?... LL - Yes love… LT - goodnight… LL - goodnight… LT Tessa went downstairs to use the bathroom and then went to grab a drink. She looked out the window and her parents were in the hot tub making out. Tessa did her happy dance and ran upstairs. “Alex, come here quickly and quietly,” she dragged him in the kitchen. “Look at the hot tub,” she said smiling. “Is that Mom and Dad?” “Yes,” she said smiling. “Oh gross — my eyes are burning!” Her phone Chimed: - I woke up an hour ago thinking of you, I hope you're happy... LL - Good morning Lucas, I’m very happy… LT - Can you meet me for lunch?… LL - Are you going to feed me?... LT - of course, where do you want to go?... LL - A new place, DOWNtown… LT - Oh Tessa, you better show up… LL - Or what… LT - Or nothing, come hungry… LL - I will… have a great day Lucas I love you… LT - I love you… LL - I’ll bring you something to eat okay, no need to order out... LT - Tessa? Did you change your mind about your situation?... LL - NO!!! I am going to actually bring you lunch… LT Lucas texted her the address. ***
Tessa pulled into the site and saw him standing over blueprints, jeans hugging his rock hard ass. He was directing people on what to do after lunch. Tessa saw Landon and jumped out and walked over to him. “How’s he doing?” Tessa asked Landon. “Great, he’s a natural,” Landon smiled. “Bossy, huh?” “But good at it,” Landon tossed back. Tessa and Landon laughed, and Lucas turned around. Tessa winked at him, and Lucas smiled. “Alright… lunch time. This is Tessa,” he motioned for her to come. She smiled and said hello. She opened up her basket and handed Ryan and Landon lunch. “Nothing big, a lot of leftovers from the party Saturday.” They both thanked her. “Let’s go,” he said and dragged her to his SUV. She laughed and followed him. He drove to the state park nearby and pulled in. “Remember when we came here?” “We’ve never been here, silly,” she laughed. “Yes we did, you showed me the girls that night,” he reached over and cupped her breast in his hand. “Well, I think I’ve heard stories.” He and opened the hatch and sat down, she handed him lunch, and he opened it. “You going to eat without me?” “No way — come on in,” he grinned and undid his pants and reached down and released himself, “I brought you something, too.” He shut the hatch, and they finished lunch. She opened the hatch and chugged water. He handed her half of his second sandwich. “I'm full,” she smiled. “Eat baby,” he laughed. She finished the sandwich, and they drove back to the site. He looked in her eyes, “I want dessert.” “I’m sorry, someone has to work,” she smiled, “You don’t want to be late on the first day.” “It just doesn’t feel right not giving back to you,” he looked down. “I’m good with it. I like to make you happy Lucas.” She got in the Jeep and turned towards him. “Kiss me?” She took his head and his hand started wandering. “I miss the girls.” “Okay… they really miss you too,” she slowly pulling away. “Got an idea for tonight, dinner? Unless you’re too full,” he smiled as his thumb stroked her lips. “Not ever too full for dinner.” He kissed her again. “See you girls tonight,” he smiled, “probably about five thirty.” Lucas looked up, and his whole crew was grinning at him. “Shit,” she turned to look behind her. “Oh, is that not okay?” “It won't be if they run their mouths,” he was annoyed. He kissed her head. “Love you baby, drive safely.” He pulled her seat belt and handed it to her. She got home and walked out to the shop, Alex and John were working on the tedder.
“Did you get lunch?” “Not yet,” John said, “We’ll be in, in a few minutes.” She went in and got the pasta salad out and made chicken salad sandwiches for them. They came in and stood at the sink to wash their hands. Tessa set plates on the table. “Tired Dad?” Tessa winked at Alex. “Yes, a little bit,” he dried his hands. “Did you enjoy the hot tub last night?” she grinned at Alex. Alex tried not to smile and he and Tessa both snickered. John looked at both of them and saw their expression, “I don’t want to hear it from you, Tessa.” “How about me Dad?” Alex chuckled. “Nope, not you either” he picked up his plate and walked in the living room. They quietly laughed and let him eat. “Do you want more Dad?” she asked and grinned at Alex. “Yes please,” he answered and she brought him in another plate. “I think it's good,” she said and patted his shoulder. “We’ll see, but until then it’s between us three… got it?” “Just keep dancing with her,” Tessa smiled and left the room. *** The next day Molly, Jade, Maggie, and Tessa went and ordered invitations, and went dress shopping. - missed you at lunch today… LL - missed u2. See you tonight?... LT - Yes. Situation resolved?… LL - you’ll have to find out for yourself… LT - be there by five… LL - Should I meet you at your place?… LT - YES!!!!!… LL *** They accomplished a lot and were home by four. She hit the shower and was out the door. She pulled in his driveway at 5:01 and he was standing in mesh shorts and flip flops, shirtless and looking hot. She got out and grinned at him. She had on a tank top and shorts, her hair was still wet. “You're late,” he grabbed her and rubbed his hand down the front of her slowly. “Sorry, I wanted to shower before I came.” “Did you forget shoes?” he laughed. “Apparently I did.” “Jump on,” he bent down. “I would love to,” she jumped on his back and smacked his ass. She kissed his neck and bit his ear. “How was work?” “Do you really care?” he laughed. “I will in about an hour,” she said jumping off his back and ran upstairs. He walked in and shut the door and locked it. She was already in his bed smiling. “No outfit?” he asked dropping his shorts.
“Not right now, unless you really need me to get dressed Lucas.” She threw the covers quickly to the side and flashed him. “Please don't,” he grabbed her ankles and pulled her to the edge of the bed. “Laydown, I owe you one or two,” he dropped to his knees. She did as he said. *** When they were done, she couldn’t move. He lay on his side watching her try to catch her breath still rubbing his hand slowly across her chest. “How was work?” she smiled. He told her about his day, he loved his job. “Check this out” he jumped up, he grabbed his briefcase and turned around. “I’m checking it out,” she tried not to smile. “Give me fifteen minutes baby,” he kissed her. He pulled out an envelope. She opened it. It was some sort of voucher for a ten- day vacation in Mexico. She smiled. “Cool when are you going?” He laughed, “When are we going. I’d like us to go right before I have to go to school. “I don't think my parents will let me,” she pouted. “Okay then Christmas break?” he smiled. She took a deep breath, “I don’t want to disappoint them.” “Could you at least ask?” he snapped. “Okay,” she rolled over on her stomach. “Tessa…” “I hate flying.” “Any other excuses you want to pull out? Fuck if you don’t want to go with me just say so!” Tessa rolled over and looked at him. She stomped her foot on the bed as she watched him pull his shorts on. “I want to; I just really think they will be upset. Lucas look at me. I want to go with you, I really do. Will you sit down and talk to me, please?!” he sat in front of her and she grinned as she looked at his half naked body. She wrapped her legs around him from behind and reached around and rubbed down his hard rippled abs. “You’re so yummy. “Really is that all you want me for?” he snapped. She burst out laughing. “Did YOU really just ask me that?” she laughed harder. He shook his head and looked down, Lucas ran his fingers nervously through his hair, and he laid back on her squishing her into the bed. “So Sunday night after you dropped me off and left me completely out of my mind wanting you,” she said dramatically as she tried to reach further down. He pulled her hands up to his chest, “I went downstairs after we were done texting,” she pinched his nipple and licked the back of his neck. He held her hand flat to him and she bit him on the neck lightly and didn’t let go as she kept talking, “I looked out the kitchen window and guess who was making out in the hot tub?” “I don’t know, who?” he pouted. “My parents,” she laughed into his neck. “Seriously,” he chuckled and turned towards her. “Yes.” “So my little Tessa doesn’t want to cause waves?” he said and rolled off of her. “No, I don't.” “And that’s why you don’t want to go away with me?”
“Not right now,” she said. “I want to see where this leads them with as little curveballs thrown at them as possible, and then I would love to. You and me laying on the beach all day and playing all night. Yes, Lucas, I would love to. I’m not going to make you wait though, take Ryan before school starts.” “No, I want to go with you, I can wait,” he kissed her. This time was slow, gentle, sweet and amazing with lots of tender deep kissing. She stopped him and pulled off the condom. “We don’t need this anymore,” she kissed him. “Nice.” They went downstairs, and he grabbed some food out of the fridge. He walked outside and grilled salmon. She made a salad and sat watching him cook. “Can I tell you some plans I have floating around in my head?” He popped a cherry tomato in his mouth and shook his head yes. “Ok, on Monday there is a class that starts it’s for a month; it is from four until six. I want to take it, Jade wants to as well, I start working the next Monday from seven until three. Can you talk me through what to do?” “Well, why do you need to take classes this summer?” “To get my prerequisites done for nursing school,” she said still avoiding eye contact. “You want to be a nurse?” “Yes, it’s a three- year program. If I want to do something else after I can, but I think it’s a good thing.” “Would you consider a college up near SU?” She smiled, “After the first semester here. Jade will have had the baby and then…Yes.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, “Then would you consider getting a place with me?” “Uh huh,” Tessa smiled looking up at him. He kissed her, “Then let’s do it.” Lucas worked Monday through Friday from six until about 4:30; he was planning to stay later some nights to try to avoid working Saturdays. Tessa would work from seven until three and then to class from four until six. She would stop at his house on her way home at least three nights a week, the other two would be devoted to wedding preparation. Weekends they would spend together. She had the last two weeks of the summer off so she would help her Dad when she could and they were hopeful that if the job he was running went well they would have at least a week before he left for school. A couple weekend trips would be in the works with the six of them.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN John, Alex, Tessa, and Lucas walked into Ben’s party. It was a much bigger bash than theirs had been. There was drinking and Limo’s to give rides to those who may have had too much to drink. Ben’s house was much different from Tessa imagined. His was as big as Lucas’s father’s house, on the outside it looked like an old barn built in the woods. There was a huge patio area with a stage. Out further was a pond. It was breathtakingly beautiful. It sat on about thirty acres. Ben was an only child and to meet him you would never guess he was so privileged. “Nice place, Ben,” Lucas shook his hand. “Thanks for coming, hey Tess” he hugged her and he hugged the rest of her family as well. There was a band playing and people everywhere were dancing. Tessa saw Lauren and went up to say hello. The girls she stood with whispered and looked her up and down. Then they checked out Lucas. It was painfully obvious they thought he was good looking. “Hello Lauren,” she hugged her. Lauren gave her a half hug. “Long trip, isn’t it?” she smiled politely as if she had to. “It was nice, actually,” Tessa said. She watched the girls staring at Lucas, and he noticed because his eyes bore into Tessa. “Hey baby want to come dance with me?” he kissed her. “Of course,” she smiled and followed him. “That was very awkward.” “Yes, I noticed” he smiled and put his arm around her. “Did you see those girls checking you out? I thought they were going to attack you.” “Yeah. Again… awkward.” The band played about three slow songs, and they danced and looked at each other the whole time. They walked off the floor hand in hand. “You guys want a drink?” Ben asked. “Sure, show us where,” Lucas smiled. He pointed over to the Red tent. “Do you shoot horseshoes?” he asked Lucas. “No, never have.” “Good… meet me down there so I can kick your ass Links,” he smiled. Lucas looked at Tessa and gave her a big obnoxious smile, “Sounds fun!” They got drinks and walked down to the horseshoe pits. “How about you and Tessa against Lauren and I?” Ben asked. “Sure, why not?” Lucas smiled. “We don’t have to,” Tessa whispered. “You any good?” “I strive to be good at everything I do;” she grabbed his butt and winked. Tessa gave him the short version of how the game was played. “Come on Ross,” Ben said. “You will be here with Lauren,” she said and smiled and kissed him. She walked down and stood next to Ben. “You ready to get your ass kicked, Ross?” “No, are you?”
“Ladies first,” he smiled. She threw, and the first was a ringer, the next two yielded one point. Ben shot and knocked her ringer off and got two more points. “Oh, that’s too bad, Tess,” he laughed. “Just warming up Ben.” Lauren shot first, and her girls were there cheering her on. Lucas looked at Tessa and rolled his head. A blonde friend of Lauren’s stood behind Lucas giving him tips and was checking out his ass and not trying to hide it at all. Before his third throw, she grabbed his hips and gave him instructions on his stance. He didn’t smile, he looked at Tessa. Tessa was getting annoyed. Lucas hit a ringer, and the blonde hugged him. “Is that bugging you, Tess?” Ben asked. “No, I think he can handle himself.” She hit two ringers and smiled, “Your turn Ben.” The blonde brought Lucas a beer, and he thanked her. Ben hit one and got a couple more points. He set the beer down when he picked up the shoes. Lauren shot gaining no points. Lucas hit one ringer, and the fan club checking out his ass grew. They all took the opportunity to congratulate him. Tessa picked up the horseshoes and Ben picked up his. “Shoot girl,” he smiled. She hit two ringers again and got another point. Ben hit two as well. Lauren shot one and missed. Tessa had to jump to avoid it. Her next throw she got a point. Tessa smiled at her, she rolled her eyes at Tessa. “Ben… you like this girl?” “She’s fun for now,” he nudged her. Her next throw hit Tessa in the toe and she started bleeding. Lucas quickly ran down. “You okay, Baby?” “I will be as soon as we win” she smiled, and he knew she was pissed. He kissed her quickly on the cheek and whispered in her ear, “Anytime you want we can go.” “I’m good, just wondering if I may be the last sane woman on the planet.” The game continued. “Oops… sorry Tessa!” Lauren yelled down. “I’d be done with that shit if I were you,” Tessa said loudly to Ben. “Really why?” “Cause she did that on purpose,” Tessa growled. “I don't think so Tess.” “Alright, your call but check her out Ben: she and the group molesting my boyfriend’s ass with their eyes — are a bunch of bitches.” He laughed “Alright, I will.” Tessa shot three ringers and smiled. Ben shot two, and his third hit one of hers off. All three of Lauren’s had to be dodged by Tessa. “She usually suck that bad, Ben?” “Nope, sorry Tess,” he said, “I’ll handle it.” “Not if I do first,” she sneered. “Hothead, I will take care of it.” Lucas ended the game. The blonde grabbed him and planted one on him. He pushed her away, “Not cool, bitch.” Tessa started storming down after her and Ben grabbed her and looked at Lucas, “You got this?” “Lauren — what’s wrong with you?” “Her!” she yelled.
“She’s my friend Lauren and was invited. Unlike the trash you brought with you,” he said. “That shit was not cool. We’re done, and you’re leaving.” “Hey, Tessa you happy?” she yelled “You can have him now!” “Lauren she doesn’t want me, she’s in love with Lucas, and she’s my good friend. Now could you please not cause a scene?” She glared at Tessa and Tessa flipped her off. “That is a naughty finger” Lucas laughed kissing it he picked her up. “Sorry about this Lucas,” she said, “I can walk.” “Maybe I want to carry you” he kissed her. “Hello Tess” Ben’s Mom said, “What happened to your foot, honey?” she asked as she grabbed the first aid kit out of the cupboard. “Horseshoe injury” she smiled, “But we won, so it was all worth it.” she laughed. Lucas cleaned her toe. “Oh Tess… that’s right on your nail bed, does it throb?” she asked. “Yes” she smiled. “Here take a couple of these,” she said and gave her some pain meds. “I hope you don’t lose that nail Tess.” “I better not — I won’t be able to wear flip flops or any open toed shoes. That’ll piss me off…Oh sorry.” “No, I would be pissed off too” she laughed. Ben walked in, “You okay girl?” he grabbed her foot. “Ouch,” he went to kiss it and stopped. “Shit, sorry.” Lucas smiled, “Forgiven.” “Tess she’s gone and so are the girls. What did you say about them, the group that’s molesting your boyfriend’s ass with their eyes?” He laughed and Lucas chuckled. “They won’t be back; I had a car take them home.” “What happened Benjamin?” his mother asked. “Lauren and her girls acted like freaks,” he laughed. “Tess told me she thought it was on purpose. I didn’t think she was like that until Tess had to dodge the next three. I should have seen it. I’m sorry.” “If the world would just realize how right I am all the time it would all be perfect” she giggled. Lucas looked at her, “You okay?” “Tired Lucas,” she yawned and started giggling. “Okay let's go outside and sit.” “Mom what did you give her for the pain?” Ben asked his mom. “Hold on let me check” her eyes widened, “Tylenol with codeine I grabbed the wrong bottle, I am sorry. No wonder she’s tired.” “Mom!” “Let me go explain myself to John,” she said. “Ben be nice to your Mom. I can't feel the pain anymore” she smiled as she scolding him and laughed. “Alright baby — let's go,” Lucas carried Tessa out. *** “Is she okay?” John asked Lucas. “Yes.” “You want to take her home or stick around here?” he asked. “I can wait although if we leave now we will be home before midnight,” he said looking at Tessa. “Alright, I’d like to stick around for a few more hours. Can you stay with her till I get home?”
“Sure,” Lucas said. “No hands policy at my house Lucas remember,” John said. “I do,” Lucas said. “You two taking off?” Ben asked when John left. “Yep, she won’t be any fun for a few hours anyway,” he lifted her arm and shook it with absolutely no response from her. “Alright sorry Lucas.” “Not your fault. Trust me I know all about crazy ex’s,” he laughed. “Yeah, I remember” Ben smiled, “Sorry about everything you all have been through, been a rough year for you, Lucas.” “Can I ask you a question Ben?” “Shoot,” Ben sat down. “Do you want Tessa?” “Not now.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas asked confused. “I don’t share, do you?” “I would never with her.” “Then you have nothing to worry about. Take care of her, she’s an awesome girl. By the way, nice ring” he patted Lucas on the back. “Ben, thank you for being there for her that night.” “Links… I think we’re having a moment.” Ben chuckled, “If she loves you like she says, I hope things work out for you. And your boy Tommy was a great guy. I’m sorry for your loss man.” He hugged Lucas and Lucas hugged him back. Tessa opened her eyes, “Awe you two are hugging. I love you both, by the way, Ben” she smiled “I told Lucas everything, do you know I am going to marry Lucas someday, soon? Lucas can we go to your house I want to show you that outfit and the whip.” she laughed and fell back to sleep. “Wow,” Ben chuckled. “Alright then, we’ll be leaving, take care man.” *** They pulled into the farm, and Tessa sat up. “Hey, Lucas we’re home?” “Yes.” He opened her door and grabbed her hand and helped her out. “My stomach’s not feeling so well.” “You haven’t eaten all day, let’s go get you something.” Tessa grabbed saltines out of the cupboard and ate a few. “That's a little better,” she hugged Lucas. He warmed up some leftover soup. “That's going to piss me off.” “What baby?” “My toenail falling off” she pouted. “It might not and if it does, there are bandages,” he smiled and handed her soup. She drank it from the cup, “Thank you.” She watched as he ate his and smiled at him, he smiled back. “You want to go upstairs?” “No hands policy, Tessa.”
“Then I will tie them up,” she smiled and walked up the stairs. Tessa took a bandana and tied his hands above his head to her headboard. She laughed, “What to do what to do?” she said walking around looking at him, “I pick you, every time, my favorite toy to play with.” “Tessa, then play baby” his voice was gruff. “You are all tied up, you don’t have a say,” she laughed and looked at him. “You seriously think this can hold me?” “No, but I am thinking about getting a gag,” they laughed, and she jumped on him. They lay in each other arms naked and asleep. Chewy barked alerting them to the fact that someone was coming in. “Love you, Baby,” Lucas jumped up to get dressed. He pulled her up and helped her into her pajamas and they ran downstairs. He sat in the recliner, and she lay on the couch. Both pretended to be asleep. John shook his head and walked by. “Lucas, you awake?” “She’s fine John, the drugs and the fact that she probably hadn’t eaten since breakfast didn’t help, but she’s fine. She ate and was awake for a while,” he looked over at Tessa. “No hands Lucas?” “No sir, none at all.” John walked in his room, and Tessa opened her eyes and winked at him and patted the couch. He smiled and lay behind her. *** The next week Tessa brought him lunch every day. They ate in the construction trailer with Ryan and his father, Jade rode with her most of the time. They snuck away for a few minutes each day. After class, Tessa would take Jade home two days a week, the other three Jade would drop her off and take the Jeep home. *** On Friday, Jade had an appointment. Tessa and Tommy’s Mom would be there with her. Jade was excited. Her doctor was in Ithaca, and they promised to stop and tell the boys the baby’s sex after her appointment. Jade lay on the bed, and the technician rubbed the cold jelly on her stomach. The tech took the paddle and moved it around. She smiled when she saw what she was looking for. She went through each part measuring and taking photos. She looked at them and asked, “Do you want to know what you’re having?” Jade shook her head yes, “Any guesses?” Tommy’s mom guessed girl and Tessa guessed a boy, Jade said a baby. “Well, two of you are right” she laughed. “It’s a boy!” Jade immediately started crying and rubbed her belly, “Tommy… we’re having a little you.” Tessa and Tommy’s mom cried each hugging Jade. The technician even became emotional. She knew the story of the accident from the first ultrasound. “Thomas James, you’re going to be the most loved boy in the world,” Jade said as she rubbed her belly. “Is that the name you picked Jade?” his mother asked. “Of course it is. Actually, I think you picked it first.” Jade was naming their son after his father. The most perfect person she’d ever met.
The doctor went over the ultrasound and talked to her about appetite increase and the fact that her hormones were changing and to expect her emotions to intensify. Her baby was healthy and growing; he was absolutely perfect. They left and went to lunch, none of them ate much. As happy as they were that he was healthy it was one of those days that the loss hurt so very badly that it could not be ignored. Tommy’s mother asked Jade to come over after her class to look through things that she had kept of Tommy’s. She agreed and got in the Jeep, and they drove to the job site. “You sure you want to do this right now?” Tessa asked. “Of course, I am,” Jade smiled. *** All the guys were at the picnic table out in front of the trailer; Lucas was giving instructions for after lunch. They sat and waited until they knew they were done. Ryan wasn’t paying attention to Lucas but staring at the Jeep. Lucas looked back and saw them. He smiled and motioned them over. “You ready?” Tessa asked Jade. Lucas dismissed the guys. “Well, what’re we having?” Lucas smiled. “It's a boy,” Jade’s smile was precious; she was so excited to share the news with Lucas, Tommy’s best friend. Lucas hugged her and Ryan picked her up and twirled her around. “Of course it is” he smiled and bent down and rubbed her belly. “Hello, little TJ,” he laughed, “Oh wow!” “He just kicked,” Jade said. “Ryan, I think he likes you.” “Either that or he didn’t want my hand on your belly,” he laughed. “Come on buddy kick again,” she rubbed her belly and nothing. “Tessa you try,” she said grabbing her hand again nothing. “Lucas come here! It's Lucas Tommy, kick him I know you’d wanted to many times before” she laughed and so did Lucas and nothing. “Ryan will you come here please,” she said, and she took his hand and put it on her belly and he kicked. “He likes you” she laughed. “I like him, too,” he smiled. “No way — let me try again.” “Give me your hand Lucas,” Ryan smiled, he put Lucas’s hand under his, and he kicked. “Wow, that was so cool!” She put her hand on her belly and nothing. “Ryan could you help me out? My future Godson seems to prefer your hand,” Tessa laughed. Jade looked at Ryan and smiled and blushed. Tessa smiled, and she felt his kick. Ryan couldn’t look at Jade, but he was smiling when he pulled his white hat down covering his eyes. “He’s going to be an amazing kid Jade,” he walked away, head down and hands in his pockets, “See you all later” Ryan called over his shoulder. *** They had planned to all hang out at Lucas’s on Saturday. His mom and her friend were going away for the weekend. A first Lucas thought they normally just hung out at the pool or in the bedroom. He was happy for his mother. Tessa’s phone rang and as she was in the kitchen cooking while Lucas cleaned the pool. It was Jade, and she needed her to pick her up from Tommy’s. Jade seemed very upset. She pulled in and jumped out of the car.
She was about to knock when Jade opened the door. “Jade, please don’t go,” Tommy’s Mom pleaded, “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay I just have plans today, I’ll talk to you later,” Jade walked out quickly. “Yes you will, I have rights to that child too Jade- — don’t you forget it!” Tessa turned around and looked at her, “Is everything okay?” “No, it’s not, she took my baby away and now she doesn’t think I should have the right to have this one under my roof. I told her she could stay, too!” “With all due respect ma’am, this is her child,” Tessa said cautiously. “Who’s going to help her, to make sure he is alright, her drugged up Mother?” she yelled at Tessa. “I’m very sorry for your loss, but she is carrying a child. You shouldn’t be upsetting her right now. She has dealt with a lot lately. She made the choice to keep this baby. Her mother won’t be involved, but I’ll help her,” Tessa said softly. “Oh great… two hormone filled little whores raising my grandson!” “Ma’am, would Tommy want you to treat her like that?” she asked. She slapped Tessa across the face and was shocked by her reaction, “Well then I’ll see her in court!” She slammed the door in Tessa’s face. Tessa got in the Jeep “Tessa, I’m sorry are you okay?” Jade cried. “I’m fine, it takes more than that to push us Ross’s down. Remember that Jade- — we got this” Tessa held her hand. The rest of the ride was quiet, and when they got to Lucas,' everyone was there. “You ready for this or should we drive for a while?” Tessa asked. “Let's just sit here for a few minutes,” Jade said. “Oh, Tessa her fingerprints are on your face, we should go get some ice on that.” “We can wait a few minutes,” Tessa hugged her. Lucas and Ryan walked out, and both were in swim trunks, sunglasses, and white hats. “What’s going on ladies?” Lucas asked. “We’ll be in, in just a few minutes” she smiled still hugging Jade. “Alright then,” he said and bent in to kiss her. “Alright see you in a few.” Tessa noticed Jade checking out Ryan as he walked away. “Whatcha looking at Jade?” she laughed. “Is he hot, or is it the hormones?” “He has always been a doll Jade.” “White hat and hormones are not helping,” Jade laughed as she wiped away her tears. They walked in the house a few minutes later and changed into bathing suits. They went out to join their friends. Jade had a perfect pregnant body, she was tall and had only gained weight in her belly and boobs, from behind you wouldn’t even know she was pregnant. She wore a bikini with a cover over it and looked so damn cute. “Baby, you look hot,” he kissed Tessa’s cheek. Tessa looked at him and shook her head no and mad a sad face and looked at Jade. “But Jade I have to tell you I have never seen you look more beautiful,” he said, “Can I touch your belly?” Tessa smiled. Jade sat down, “Sure, but he hasn’t moved a lot today.” “I can make him,” Lucas said. He tried, but he wouldn’t move. “He might be upset; it’s been a rough night. What if something is wrong with him Tessa?” she asked.
Ryan walked over, “He’s fine Jade, may I?” “Please do.” “Ok, little guy you’re freaking your Momma out,” Ryan put his hand on her belly. He didn’t kick. Ryan rubbed her belly a little and he kicked. Ryan smiled, and Jade grinned and bit her lip and immediately realized how she was looking at him. “Thanks, Ryan,” she stood up and walked into the house. She grabbed a glass of water and took some deep breaths. “Not cool, Jade,” she said aloud. Tessa laughed “Hormones Jade?” “Maybe Tessa but he has always been around, since my brothers. He’s always been so nice, quiet but nice. I just don’t know. Tommy has been gone for three months and I miss being touched and feeling … loved. I don’t want to lose my friend because I’m a freaking ball of hormones right now.” She hugged Tessa, “But he is cute right?” Tessa laughed, “Always has been, Jade.” They walked outside, and Phoebe, Alex, Becca, Cassidy and Becca’s boyfriend Joshua were there. “Tessa — what happened to your face?” Alex asked. Lucas walked over and grabbed her chin moving her head, “What the fuck happened to you?” “Tommy’s mom slapped her” Jade answered, “hard too.” “Fucking cu…” Tessa put her hand over his mouth. “Why?” Alex asked. Jade told them about waking up in the middle of the night and she was sitting on the bed looking at her. That she had asked her to live there when the baby was born so that she could help raise him and teach her how to be a mother. It scared Jade. Then she told them about what she had said to Tessa. And then she finally broke down and cried. Ryan walked behind her and rubbed her head. “Jade don’t cry. Crazy ass grandma can be dealt with,” he said. “She is fucking crazy!” Lucas spat as he paced back and forth. “What do you mean?” Jade asked. Lucas told stories about when he used to stay with them, and Tommy’s older sister used to sneak in and kiss him at night. He was twelve, and she was fourteen, every time they got caught she would freak out. “So one night, Lucy came in and climbed in bed with me and kissed me, and she walked in. She brought me back here at three in the morning at thirteen years old. Tommy was pissed and snuck out, he spent the night here. She never got over it, and I never stayed with them again. Tommy knows his Mom’s a judgmental bitch Jade, he wouldn’t be mad at you if you didn’t speak to her again. He couldn’t wait to get out of there!” Lucas explained. “That’s crazy, he never told me,” Jade said. “But I have heard of grandparent’s rights before.” “I have a great lawyer who specialized in custody; I’ve known her for six years. I’ll call her Monday morning, and you can sit down with her,” Ryan said still rubbing her back. “Thank you, Ryan. You have a six- year- old?” she asked. “No, Jade” he laughed. “I met her when my crackhead parents got out of jail. They were fighting to get me back, and the Brooks’ had already started the adoption process. She is very smart and will answer all of your questions. So stop stressing, and maybe little TJ will move for you,” he said and patted her head and walked away. She took a deep breath and Tessa laughed. “Get that hat off his head,” she whispered. “It’s not the hat Jade, it’s the whole package,” she laughed. “Hey, Lucas why didn’t you tell me about Lucy?”
“Tessa you know everyone I have had sex with, you really want to know about all that I did with everyone else with?” he laughed. “Yes, and now please,” she stood up and walked inside. He walked in with his head down and grabbed a cold pack out of the freezer and put it on her face. “That’s going to bruise. We really need to do this?” he asked. “No, just let me know if we are in the same room or at the same function or something, I just don’t want to feel like an idiot,” she said. “Okay, no problem. You want to go back out now?” he asked, taking her hand. “They think I’m pissed. We have at least a half hour,” she said and grinned. “Sounds like a great idea,” he said and pulled her upstairs. *** The next week was crazy for Tessa; she worked and went to school, three weeks and counting. She didn’t see Lucas nearly enough, but when she did… it was wonderful. The six went to camp the following weekend. They spent every evening by the fire, during the day they helped around the farm. Lucas learned to drive a tractor, and for some reason he loved it. Tessa loved to ride with him, and she made sure he loved her there too. Jade was meeting with an attorney on Monday, Lucas insisted that Ryan take her, not that it took much effort to convince Ryan. Ryan had bought a new vehicle, a blue Tahoe; he had been saving for a while. “Nice ride Brooks. When did you get this?” Jade asked getting in. He shut the door and ran around and jumped in. “They delivered it this morning,” he said acting nervous. He was quiet the whole ride watching Jade out of the corner of his eye while she played with all the buttons. “This is cool,” she said as she opened the moon roof and stood up. He lightly took her hand and pulled it down, “Jade careful.” “Sorry,” she sat quietly. She watched him as he drove. He felt her eyes on him and got very uncomfortable. He grabbed his white hat off the dash and shoved it down blocking his eyes. If he couldn’t see her, he may not feel so damn nervous. “TJ hasn't moved today,” she said reclining the seat. She took his hand and put it on her belly. He let out a breath and left his hand there. He still wasn’t moving so Ryan rubbed her belly gently. He kicked, and Ryan smiled “Hey, buddy!” He smiled. “I’m sure he likes me.” “Me too,” she said and put her hand over his, “I mean… I’m sure he does, too.” “I get it Jade,” he smiled. They pulled in, and he jumped out and opened her door. “Wow — this is very high off the ground.” He helped her down and she did her best to hide her grin. They walked towards the office and she slowed down. “Ryan, I’m scared,” she admitted. “You’ll love her, and whatever she says we’ll figure it out,” he said finally releasing her hand. They walked in, and the secretary seated them in a small room to wait. Jade fidgeted the whole time. A tall, pretty redhead in her forties walked in. “Ryan,” she hugged him, “I was glad to hear from you.” “Thank you for seeing us, I mean Jade. She has a lot of questions and needs you to tell her what she’s
in store for legally,” he said. “Well let’s talk through it. Hi Jade, you look nervous, kind of like you did the first time we met Ryan. Look at him Jade, he got through a very difficult time, and he’s still here.” Jade asked a lot of questions, and Ryan asked a few too. She gave them more information than she even knew she needed. They walked out, and she called Ryan back in the office. “You like her, don’t you Ryan?” she asked. “She’s a sister to the twins, remember my friends who died in the accident?” he asked. “I do. She seems great, very pretty and very scared. Be careful.” “I don’t know what that means?” Ryan asked. “If you like her as much as I’m sensing, go slow and easy,” she smiled. “I will” he blushed. They drove out of the parking lot, and he glanced at her. “Jade, what’s up?” he asked. “Well... I’m totally overwhelmed,” she started to cry. “You’re going to be fine. Let’s go feed my little buddy and then I’ll take you to school okay?” he asked. She shook her head and grabbed his hand and put it on her belly, “Please.” Ryan rubbed her belly as he drove into town. TJ kicked up a storm. “That’s so cool,” he said softly. After they had eaten, he dropped her off at school. He ran to the Auto store and bought steps for the passenger side of the SUV. *** He told Lucas he’d swing by after the appointment to go over some blueprints, making up for the time he had missed. Ryan enjoyed this job very much, and he was good at it. Lucas had told his Dad to watch him. He and Lucas went over the blueprints and had plans for the next three days. Lucas went to check out Ryan’s new vehicle and saw the steps. He helped put them on, and they talked about what the attorney had said. Lucas texted Tessa - Ryan is here why don’t you and Jade comeover? I'll make dinner… LL - Sounds good… LT They pulled in and got out. They walked in, and dinner was on the patio. Lucas smiled when he saw Tessa. She smiled back. He was such a different person and so was she. They didn’t fight anymore, and when she saw his face whether it was first thing in the morning or times like now, she felt like she was home. “Hey baby,” he kissed and hugged her, “I missed you today.” They ate and talked about what the attorney had said and came to the conclusion that Jade, who had already planned to breastfeed as long as she could, had nothing to worry about. No judge in their right mind would insist she express milk for her to share her new baby with them. Tessa had a picture of the hand print on her face that she knew might prove useful. Lucas’s mom and her friend spent a lot of time together, “If you two want to stay here when I’m at school Jade, you can. Mom is thinking about moving in with her shrink, which I think is perfect,” he laughed and Tessa smacked him, “Tell me I’m wrong baby?” she laughed. Her other options were to not name Tommy as the father on the birth certificate which she just couldn’t do.
“I’m pretty sure the breastfeeding thing is going to work Jade, but you need to remember that’s a temporary fix. You can’t breastfeed until he’s five,” Ryan said seriously. “I can't believe we’re sitting here talking about how my boobs are going to save the day,” Jade laughed. Ryan wrote a few things down, “I’m going to call her in the morning and run this by her. Jade what are you willing to do, I mean can you give her a few hours a week for visitation or will that be too much?” “I’d thought about letting her watch him while I was at school the two and a half hours five days a week, but I don’t think I can,” Jade said. “No, I don’t think so, that is setting a precedence. Will they let you take him to school?” Ryan asked. “I can find out.” “Good, so what do you think, two hours on a Saturday or Sunday too much?” he asked. “After what she did I would not like even that.” Ryan wrote it down, “Okay, anything else?” “Why are you doing all this for me Ryan?” “That’s what friends do,” he got up, “Your brothers would want to know you’re being looked after.” “Well, thank you” she called after him. She looked confused and frustrated. They hung out, and Ryan said he was going to go. “Can you give Jade a ride?” Lucas asked. “Sure, you ready?” “Yes,” she said quietly. She walked to the truck and got in, “When did you get steps?” “Earlier” his answer was short. He pulled his hat down, he was uncomfortable. They were about half way to Jade’s and had said nothing. Jade finally broke the silence. “Ryan I don’t want you to feel like you have to do all this for me,” she said softly. He pulled to the stop sign and looked at her. “I don’t feel like I have to Jade, I want to. If it upsets you, I won’t,” he said as they pulled forward. “I like you being here, and so does he,” she said and grabbed his hand and put it on her belly. Ryan smiled when he kicked him. “Good.” The week went by, and Friday night they all went to Tessa’s. Her Dad was not going to be home, and Tessa missed the kids. They decided to play baseball in the yard. “Jade, can we talk for a minute?” Ryan asked. “Only if you rub my belly.” “Alright… come with me” Ryan said, and they walked into the living room. “I talked to Julie, and the lawyer, and right now she says that’s a good plan. She would like to have a meeting with Tommy’s parents and feel them out, are you willing to do that?” Ryan asked. “What do you think I should do?” she said and grabbed his hand and put it on her belly and laid her head on his lap. “Well,” he said nervously. “If that’s okay with you I think you should.” She was staring up at him as he rubbed her belly and smiled. “Then I will.” The baby kicked, and she laughed, “He likes you as much as I do.” “You want to kick me?” Ryan laughed. “Nope,” she said grinning and bit her lip. He closed his eyes and sat back, he rubbed her belly some more. She sat up and touched his face and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Ryan.” The meeting would be in two weeks. Ryan agreed to go.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Tessa woke up at three in the morning thinking of Lucas. Her Dad had already left, and the kids were at her mom’s. She had an awesome dream, and she could not get it out of her head. She showered and brushed her teeth. She jumped in the Jeep and drove to his house. She used her key to get in. She went in his closet and put on the black outfit she had bought when she was prom dress shopping. She grabbed the whip and giggled. What am I doing? She looked over, and he lay without covers, the moonlight beaming across his body. He looked so peaceful sleeping, she watched him for a while. His alarm went off, and he mumbled “Ten more minutes,” and went to hit the snooze. She took the whip and lightly hit his hand, he instinctively pulled it back and rubbed his eyes, he went for it again, and she hit his hand again. He sat up and opened his sleepy eyes and squinted rubbing them again. “No way,” he said under his breath and opened his eyes again. She raised her eyebrow at him. “Tessa, you look so fucking…” he stood up, and she pushed him back gently with the whip. He smiled and sat back. She walked over and pushed play on his stereo. She danced slowly to Alice Cooper’s Poison, and he watched her steamy eyed and jaw tight. He went to stand again, and she pushed the whip into him. The song finished, and she went and straddled him and pushed him down. She slowly kissed his belly and moved lower. “Baby…” he moaned. They got out of the bed and kissed, “I want to wake up like that everyday for the rest of my life” he said smiling. “We will, I love you” she threw on underwear and a tank top and ran downstairs and made him breakfast. He ran downstairs, “We’re going shopping after you get out of school today.” Lucas scooped her up and kissed her. “Oh yeah? What are we going shopping for?” she laughed. “More outfits. Fucking hot!” *** After class Jade seemed irritated. “What’s going on Jade?” Tessa asked as they pulled out. “I’m hungry,” she said and looked down. “And I like Ryan, Tessa… I really like him.” “Have you told him?” “No, I don’t want him to run scared, don’t you tell Lucas,” she snapped. “I won’t. But he would never tell him.” “He would hate me, Tommy has only been gone for four and a half months, and I have a crush on someone? What the hell is that about?!” “Jade, Tommy wouldn’t want you to be alone. You’re seventeen, and in a couple weeks you’ll be eighteen. He would never expect you to be alone forever. Ryan’s a good guy, he works hard, cares for you, TJ likes him more than me,” Tessa gaffed, “and he’s really nice to look at. I was thinking the other day; he has a very sexy voice. Deep and smooth Jade, I bet he would be….” “Can we go eat, please?” Tessa laughed and pulled over to text Lucas.
- Hey, hot stuff, Jade is starving, and we are going to stop and feed TJ. Hope you’re not upset… LT - Not at all. Just getting ready to leave here myself, where you going?... LL - Probably Olive Garden to carb her up… LT - Great, text me later baby… LL They walked into the restaurant to get a table. Lucas walked out and smiled. “Would you like to join us?” he smiled, “There’s no wait.” They sat down, Ryan pulled the chair out for Jade and Lucas did the same for Tessa. “You know it’s going to take a lot more than that to get me to go home with you sir,” she whispered. “Alright” he smiled. “Will that at least get me to the parking lot?” “Of course” she smiled and started to stand up. He laughed, “Could we eat first?” “Sure you can” she laughed and sat down. “You hungry Jade?” Lucas asked. “Yes,” she looked down. “You okay?” Lucas asked. “Yes, thank you,” she said quietly. The waiter brought out bread and salad. Jade took a bread stick and nibbled on it. Tessa looked at her. “Jade what’s up?” Ryan asked. “Nothing,” she answered. “Then eat — little man is hungry,” he rubbed her belly. She jumped. “Oh sorry,” he said and raised his hands in the air. “Hey Lucas, I think I forgot to lock the Jeep, come with me please?” she looked at him with her eyes wide. He followed her out. “Sorry, if I offended you Jade,” he whispered. She looked down, “You didn’t, I like when you do that.” “Ok, so what just happened, are you alright?” he asked. “No, Ryan I’m not” she got teary eyed. “Jade do you need to go to the doctor?” “No,” she said and a tear dropped down her face. “Ryan I actually like when you touch my belly, I like that you’re around whenever I need you. I like you, really like you and I know it’s stupid that you’re just a really good friend, and I’m knocked up at seventeen and…” “Are you done yet?” he asked. “No…” “Can I kiss you?” Her eyes widened. “Do you honestly want…” she started, and he kissed her. Tessa and Lucas walked in, and they both smiled and sat down. Jade and Ryan didn’t even notice they had returned. Ryan started to pull back, and Jade grabbed the back of his head and kissed him again. The waitress came to the table, and Tessa giggled. Jade jumped, and they both looked around. She blushed. “Can I tell Lucas now?” Tessa asked and laughed. “Shut up, Tessa,” Jade looked down. “Can I tell Jade how you have looked at her since I met you?” Lucas asked. “Shut up Lucas,” Ryan said.
“You hungry now, Jade?” Tessa asked. “Yes,” she laughed. Ryan sat back and rubbed his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. Jade looked at him and smiled. He smirked and looked down. Jade ate until she couldn’t move, “Can I give you a ride home?” “Yes, please Ryan.” *** Tessa and Lucas went shopping. He threw everything he saw in the basket and she laughed. She grabbed a pair of elephant trunk underwear and smiled at him, he shook his head no. She grabbed a pair of banana undies and he dragged her out of the department and to the cash register. He grabbed a pair of handcuffs, she shook her head no, and he raised his eyebrow and said, “Oh yes.” They checked out, and she tried to pay, he pushed her back and laughed. The cashier was red by the time she finished ringing them out. They walked out laughing and right into Sadi. “Well, hello there Lucas, hey Tessa” she smiled, “You guys a happy couple now?” “Hello Sadi, how are you?” he asked. “Oh great, you know it’s been a rough year though. I’m sorry about Tommy” she said. “But I see you got through that just like you did when our baby died. Tessa did he tell you it was a boy?” “I’m very sorry, Sadi,” Tessa looked down. “Why are you sorry it made it easier for you?” Sadi laughed. “It wasn’t a competition Sadi, we talked about that,” Lucas said calmly. “Oh, wow check out that ring, Tessa!” “Sadi are you still seeing your therapist?” Lucas asked. “Nope, I’m all set though. You both have a great night, oh and enjoy whatever is in that bag.” She began walking away, she stopped. “By the way, I got into SU Lucas, where are you going?” she laughed as she walked away. “You okay?” they both asked each other at the same time. He hugged her. “Lucas, your baby was a boy?” “Yes,” he looked away. “You wanna leave, bud?” she asked rubbing his back. “No — I want to forget about that and go into that store,” he smiled. “Okay Lucas, if that’s what you want.” He gave her a look. “I love you, and I want you to be okay, it’s not pity Lucas.” “I know,” he kissed her. They went in, and he grabbed a bunch of front clasp bras and boy shorts, he made sure they all had matching pieces. He grabbed crotchless panties and two garter belts. “Alright I think we’re good for now” he kissed her head. They stood in line, his arm around her. She was embarrassed and put her head in his chest. As they were being rung up Tessa heard a familiar voice and looked up. “I can take it from here; you can take your break now.” She took a deep breath and looked down. Lucas didn’t even react. He kissed her head again and squeezed her. “I see you still like the front clasp, did you finally master that?” Sadi asked, and he didn’t respond. “Oh, boy shorts, that’s new. These aren’t though, did he ask you not to wear panties yet?” she whispered. “Four hundred thirty- two dollars and eighty cents, you sure she’s worth it, you don’t have to pick hay out of these do you?”
He didn’t look up, he handed her a credit card, still staring at Tessa. “Have you taken her to our baby’s grave site yet?” He signed the small black screen and grabbed the bag, she handed him the receipt. “Have a great night.” They walked out and held hands. “Tessa” he started. “If you’re okay, I’m okay,” she squeezed his hand. “You’re not angry?” he asked. “No, not angry.” “Ok, are you upset? Truth Tessa?” They got in his SUV, and he looked at her. “Okay, I’m just concerned and wonder why you never talk about it Lucas, I didn’t know you had a boy or that you buried him. Lucas I don’t want to push, and this was all before, so I feel like I shouldn’t even ask. I just wish, no… it’s okay Lucas.” she smiled. “Okay Tessa, his name is David, he’s buried in Lansing. I’ve been there three times, but I pass the cemetery every day. He was one pound seven ounces and twelve inches long. In a very tiny box, he was buried, and he wore a little sleeper. Nothing would fit, and we wanted him to be warm and not just wrapped in a damn blanket. At the service were my parents and Audrianna and Sadi’s mother. It was short and very, very, sad. I don’t like to think about it, I don’t like to talk about it. He wasn’t alive when he was born; in fact, he was dead before I even got to the hospital. I’m not mad Tessa, but I need to know that I’ve answered all of your questions.” He looked up, and tears were falling down her face. “Now I’m going to drop you off at your Jeep, and I would love you to come to my house… but if you don’t want to, I can understand.” “Lucas you don’t have to drop me off, you can on your way to work in the morning. I want to be with you now, but I don’t want you to drive home alone.” She kissed his face. “I love you,” she said and kissed him again. They walked into his room, and he dropped the bags. She went into the bathroom and ran a bath. She walked out, and he sat on the bed with his head in his hands. She bent down and grabbed his hand, led him into the bathroom and undressed him. She pointed towards the bath. “Get in please Lucas.” She undressed and lit a few candles. She sat facing him and washed him and kissed every part she cleaned. She washed his hair and sat on his lap and kissed him. “God, I love you Tessa.” “I love you Lucas.” When they were finished, they walked out. She texted Alex, - hey very rough night, can you cover for me?... LT - yep… Alex “Can I stay with you tonight?” He lifted the covers and smiled, “You can stay every night, Tessa.” They held each other until they fell asleep.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Ryan and Jade drove into town. His hand stayed on her belly as TJ danced. She stared at him the entire way home; he didn’t put his hat on to cover his eyes. They pulled into her driveway, and her Dad’s truck was still not there. He got out and opened the door and held her hand as she stepped out. She smiled nervously. “Thank you, Ryan.” They walked to the door, and she fumbled around her bag for her keys. “Damn it,” she said. He reached up above the door for their spare and found it and unlocked the door. “That thing has been there for years. You two should find a new place for it,” he laughed. “Will you come in?” Jade asked. “If you want me to,” he said looking down. She walked in and stopped to take her shoes off and stood up at the same time he did. They bumped heads. “Ouch,” she laughed. “You okay?” he rubbed her head. She closed her eyes, and he looked at her. “I am… are you?” she said quietly. “Yes,” he whispered lifting her chin, and he kissed her. She opened her mouth to him, and he cautiously entered her mouth, her tongue quickly met his and she moaned. She wrapped his arms around her waist and slowly walked to the couch. He sat down bringing her on top of him. She straddled his lap and moaned. “Jade” he whispered. She pulled back and looked at him, and she smiled. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, and she kissed him again. They stopped kissing to breathe. They looked at each other and smiled. She kissed him again and felt him beneath her, she kissed him harder and took his hand and brought it to her breast. He didn’t move his hand but could feel the hard center beneath it. She pushed into him. He pulled his head back and moved his hand. “You’re not ready for this Jade, we need to slow down.” “I don't want to,” she kissed him. He pulled back. “Ryan, you won't get me pregnant.” “Jade, slowdown, please,” he picked her up and sat her beside him. She was all of the sudden embarrassed. “Oh God, I’m sorry,” she said hiding her face. He rubbed her black hair. “Don’t be, I just know you are so full of emotions and probably have crazy hormone things going on. I really want you Jade; I have for a very long time. But I won’t take advantage of that.” “Ryan. Rub my belly, please” she laid down frustrated. She pulled up her shirt, and he could see her bra and the excitement he had caused. He smiled and sat back, “I would love to” he bent over and kissed her gently and then kissed her belly.
They fell asleep with her head on his lap and his hand on her belly. Ryan heard the door open and sat up. “She okay?” Jack asked when he walked in the door. “She’s fine,” Ryan started to get up. “Dad, I want him to stay” Jade whispered. “Okay Jade,” he said. Jack had watched Ryan and the way he quietly looked after Jade for the past five years. He liked Ryan a lot and trusted him. *** Jade and Tessa’s class had ended, and they both did well. Jade had signed up for another class that started in a week. This way she would only have to attend classes half a day. Jade and Ryan walked into the law office where the meeting between Tommy’s family and her was being held. “I want you to come in with me,” she held his hand tightly. “Alright but we shouldn’t hold hands,” he smiled, “That may upset them, okay?” “I don't care.” “Jade yes, you do, and he needs you to care alright?” he said and rubbed her belly. “Okay fine,” she rolled her eyes. They walked in, and the secretary took them into Julie’s office. “Hello Ryan. Hello Jade, have a seat,” she motioned to the chairs. “They’re waiting in the conference room and have brought an attorney. I don’t know what to expect, but I need you both to hide whatever it is that’s going on here between you two. That may push her harder.” Jade looked down disappointed. “I’m not saying forever” Julie laughed. “Let’s just go in, you and I, Jade. Ryan, you can sit right outside the door.” “No, I want him to come in” her eyes filled up. “Okay Jade, but no glances between the two of you, okay?” Julie half asked, and half demanded. “Jade maybe I shouldn’t be with you in there,” he said quietly. She looked at him confused, and tears started “I thought” she stopped, “I don’t want you to if you don’t want to.” He wiped her tears and kissed her softly, “I do, Jade, and I’m just trying to do the right thing.” “I need you in there.” “Okay then,” Julie said handing her a tissue. “Get it together and let me talk.” They walked in, and Ryan followed Julie. Julie shook hands with their attorney and sat down. “We’re here to try to resolve the issue between Miss Ross and Mr. and Mrs. Lane. Jade wants what’s best for her child and all parties involved.” Julie said. “Well, we can make this meeting much shorter. Mr. and Mrs. Lane will accept one of two things, the first is Mrs. Lane would like to have her grandchild every other weekend, two nights a week and when Jade is in school.” Jade gasped. “The second option is the Lanes would like to take the burden of an unwanted child off of Miss Ross’s hands and obtain full custody and be able to make the decision as to when Miss Ross sees their grandchild.” “Do you mean my son?” Jade asked. “Neither will happen do you understand that?!” “Jade let me speak,” Julie said. “Miss Ross has offered two and a half hours a week as long as Mrs. Lane seeks counseling. We feel that is more than fair given the circumstance.” Jade started to cry. “She will be breast- feeding which is best for her child so neither of your proposals will be accepted.” “She is seventeen years old. She comes from a horribly dysfunctional family. Our grandchild deserves better than white trash,” Mrs. Lane yelled.
“Your grandchild deserves a chance to bond with its mother, who is taking classes over the summer so that she has a shortened school day so she can be there for her child,” Julie said. “And who the hell is this?” she said pointing towards Ryan, who looked down and tightened his jaw trying not to speak. She looked at her husband. “I told you that this was probably not even Tommy’s child, she’s a little whore.” “Listen, lady,” Ryan said. “If I were you, I would take what you’re being offered, and I certainly would not be talking to Jade like that. She’s amazing and loved your son very much. The fact that you don’t know who I am has me questioning your sanity. I was in the accident with your son. I’d ask you how he would feel about the way you just spoke to her except I already know your reaction would be the same as it was to Tessa the other day.” “What is he talking about?” Mr. Lane asked. “Oh, here Mr. Lane,” Julie said handing him a picture, “At your wife’s request Jade spent the night after her sonogram and Miss Ross woke to her watching her sleep. Then Miss Ross declined her offer to move in. Tessa Ross came to get Miss Ross because she was scared. The mark on her face is from your wife’s hand.” “She has been under a lot of stress, a court will understand that,” Mr. Lane said quietly. “Well then” their lawyer said, “If we have nothing else to discuss here we will see you in court.” The Lane’s lawyer handed them a summons. They left, and Jade fell apart and Ryan grabbed her, “It's going to be okay Jade.” He looked at Julie, “What’s our next step?” “Why don’t you two sit for a few minutes?” Julie said as she looked over the summons. “You need to know regardless of what happened here today this was dated a four days ago, probably after the incident at the Lane’s, more than likely before we even met. So that being said we really need to hope for a good family court Judge. They don’t seem to be the type that is going to let up, but we will give them a run for their money. I promise. Your other option here Jade I have already told you about, don’t use Tommy’s name on the birth certificate. Then this will be a lot easier.” “I can’t do that; I can’t do that to Tommy or our baby. Imagine when he gets older and he sees his birth certificate and his father is unknown, life without a Dad is going to be hard enough.” Jade wiped her tears. “It won’t be like that Jade, use my name,” Ryan said, and she looked at him and they both looked scared, he swallowed hard, “Use mine.” She laughed, “I wouldn’t do that to you.” “It's an option Jade, don't disregard it,” Julie said. They left, and Jade walked outside and got sick. He held her hair back and rubbed her back. “You’ve got to calm down Jade.” “That's easy for you to say you don't have someone trying to take your child away from you.” He opened the door to the SUV; he put her in and walked to the other side. “Okay let's change the subject: your birthday is tomorrow, you’ll be eighteen, right? What are we going to do to celebrate?” he asked. “I need to stop and get a toothbrush before I throw up again,” she said disgusted. He pulled into a drug store and went to get what she wanted. He came out, and she was crying. “Jade don't cry.” He put the toothpaste on the toothbrush and opened the water. She washed out her mouth and went to grab the toothbrush. “I want to, open up” she looked at him like he was crazy. “Open up Jade” she did, and he brushed her teeth.
She spit, and it splattered on his pants. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said and grabbed a napkin and wiped it up. It was very close to his private area. She smiled and continued. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. “Jade,” he said, “I can get it.” She smiled, “No, I want to.” Jade laughed, Ryan stepped away, and she laughed harder. “This is all so crazy. I’m a freaking wack job right now and you’re brushing my teeth,” she laughed more. He smiled and hugged her. “You’re going to be alright,” he said, and she kissed him. He got in the SUV. “Lunch?” “I’m not hungry,” she wiped her tears. “I don’t care,” he touched her belly and TJ danced. Ryan pulled into the parking lot and parked he hugged Jade. “Let’s go,” he said softly. They sat, and Jade looked down the entire time. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand and rubbed his fingers gently across her hand, and they ate in silence. They sat in the car, and she held his hand to her cheek as he drove. “Jade, I would love for you to consider what I proposed in Julie’s office.” “Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you do that for me? I would never expect you to Ryan.” “Is it not obvious Jade?” “No,” she said confused. He smiled, “You’re not going to make this easy are you?” she looked confused. “I have cared deeply for you for years. Actually I have had an enormous crush on you for two years now” he blushed and looked over at her. “I liked Tommy a lot, he treated you very well. Not that I wanted to like him, but he kind of made it impossible not to” he smiled. “Jade Ross, you’re beautiful and kind and good, and over the past four months I have fallen in love with you.” Her eyes widened, “I don’t know what to say, Tommy has only been gone for a few months. I know I have very strong feelings, but I feel like I’m betraying him, it’s so messed up. I’m huge and pregnant, and about to have a baby. You’re amazing Ryan, I want you to find someone who is not in such a messy situation.” “Okay,” he continued driving. “What do you mean, okay?” she gasped. “Sorry, I’m having a hard time trying to control my mouth amongst other things lately, sorry.” “No, that’s ok. I’m not here to upset or confuse you. If all, you want is a friend to rub your belly for now that’s what I will be.” “I want other things too” she covered her mouth, “Oh sorry.” He pulled over and parked on the side of the road. “How strong are your feelings for me Jade?” he asked and leaned forward and held her hand. “Strong, really strong,” she admitted. “Have you ever felt this way about anyone besides Tommy?” “No.” “Good to know,” he said and sat back. “Okay why?”
“I can play second to Tommy, he’s gone. I can’t to anyone else.” “I don't want you to settle for that, Ryan.” “I’m not settling Jade. I’m going to marry you someday,” he smiled. “Okay,” she smiled at him. “So you’ll be eighteen tomorrow, what would you like for your birthday?” “All that,” she said and pointed at his lap. “I’m waiting for marriage” he smiled. “You haven’t?” “Yes Jade I have, but not with you.” “Then marry me tomorrow,” she laughed. “Alright.” “I’m joking” she giggled. “I’m not,” he laughed. He took her home and told her he would see her tomorrow. He called her father and asked for his permission to ask Jade for her hand. He also asked that if she accepted he marry her tomorrow. Jack laughed, and Ryan told him he was not joking. “If she says yes Ryan, then you have my permission,” Jack laughed. He called Lucas and asked him to go shopping with him. They went to the jewelers, and Ryan bought a ring. “You’re serious aren’t you?” Lucas smiled. “Of course, does it bother you?” “No man, I’m actually pretty proud of you,” Lucas admitted. “Don’t tell Tessa, please… I want it to be a surprise” he blushed. “I do however want you both there if she agrees.” Ryan said, “You asking me to be your best man Ryan?” “I guess I am.” “No bachelor party?” he asked and laughed. “I don’t think that would go over well, for either of us,” Ryan laughed. Ryan sent Jade a text - Lunch tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at eleven… I love you Jade - Ryan, that sounds excellent, all of it… Jade *** He pulled in and picked her up, “Happy Birthday, Jade” he kissed her. She smiled, “Thank you, Ryan.” They ate lunch, and he took her for a walk out on the dock. He turned and looked at her. “Ok Jade, I’ve told you I love you. I really do, and I have for years, just didn’t allow myself to realize how much until lately. I want to take care of you and your child forever.” He knelt down on one knee, “Jade Ross, will you marry me?” She stood frozen and whispered, “Are you being serious?” “Oh shit,” he grabbed the box out of his pocket. He opened it and smiled and took a deep breath. “Yes, very serious.” “You don't have to Ryan,” she started to cry. “Jade nothing would make me happier, and I promise I will make you happy forever, just say yes,” he asked nervously.
“Well, I say that sounds beautiful,” she smiled. “Just like you Ryan Brooks. But you better ask him too” she blushed pointing at her belly. He lifted her shirt and kissed her belly. “What do you say TJ? Can I marry your Momma?” He held his hand on her belly and nothing. “Little man I promise to be the best Daddy in the whole world,” he said, he kicked. “Does that mean yes?” he asked looking at Jade’s big beautiful eyes. “We say yes,” she said and held his head against her belly. “We say yes,” she whispered looking up into heaven. He stood up and kissed her. “We’re doing this today Jade, okay?” “Are you being serious?” her eyes widened. “Nothing but. Are you okay with that?” “I love you,” she said, “I love you” she laughed and hugged him. “However my Dad may not be alright with it. Have I said I love you yet?” she laughed. “Don't ever stop,” he kissed her. “Oh, by the way, your dad already said yes.” “You asked my dad?” “Of course, and I asked him if today was alright, and he said yes, but only if you accepted. Jade are you sure?” he asked. “About marrying you, my friend?” she smiled and looked at the ring. “Absolutely, but how are we going to do this today?” she laughed. “Well, it won’t be anything fancy, but we can do it. In a year I promise to give you the perfect wedding,” he hugged her. “I’m working at the fair this weekend,” she said out loud. “My cousin's wedding is this weekend.” “Well… that will be one hell of a honeymoon” he laughed. “But I’m good with all that.” “Are you sure?” “About all of it,” he said. “Let’s do it,” she laughed, “All of it.” He grinned, “Alright then, I can’t wait.” “Then don't,” she said grabbing his waist. “Oh no,” he kissed her, “That can wait just a little longer.” They made phone calls, and it was all set for tonight at five. She wanted to marry him on the dock where he proposed to her. Just family and a couple close friends. It was beautiful, small and intimate, Jade glowed. She wore a light yellow long sundress that they had found on the clearance rack at a department store. Tessa’s was a shorter version of hers. Ryan and Lucas wore khakis and yellow shirts. All were barefoot. The youth minister married them. They ate dinner at the restaurant and Lucas handed him a card. Inside was a note that a reservation had been made for them at a nearby Inn. Ryan carried her over the threshold and they looked around the room. There were rose petals scattered everywhere, tea light candles glowing, and a bottle of non- alcoholic Champagne was chilling. “This is amazing,” she said. “You’re amazing,” he kissed her. His hands ran down her and rested on the small of her back. She moaned. He took her to the bed. “If you’re tired we can sleep, we don’t have to yet Jade,” he said through steamy eyes. “I want you Ryan Brooks.” “I want you Jade Brooks” he smiled and kissed her neck.
She turned around and pulled her long black hair over her shoulder. “Unzip me please,” she asked softly. He did, and her dress fell to the ground. She was not wearing a bra and her panties were silky white. She turned around and unbuttoned his shirt and gently pushed it back over his shoulders until it fell on the floor. She bent down and unbuttoned his pants, and he wore no underwear. “Wow,” she said as she looked at his perfect length and took him in her mouth. “Oh my God, Jade” he tried to pull her up, she pushed him into a seated position and smiled up at him. “Jade it has been a long time, please stop it’s not going to take that long.” She stopped and looked up at him, “I want to, you are so perfect. Please?” “I want to be inside you, Jade” he moaned as she continued. He took her breasts in his hand, and she moaned loudly. She continued, and he tried to pull away. “Jade I’m going to…” he hissed, and she smiled up at him, “Oh God, Jade,” he yelled and pushed deeper in her mouth, “I’m sorry.” “I’m not,” she smiled. “Do you know how perfect you are?” “That was a first for me. I’ve never swallowed,” she laughed. “Really?” he asked. “Will you do it again?” “Now?” she asked, “If you want me to.” “I love you Mrs. Brooks,” he smiled. “I want that at least twice a week got it?” he asked and laughed. “Why Mr. Brooks you keep being so perfect and you may get it more,” Jade said. “Now kiss me” he hesitated and smiled. “It’s yours isn’t it?” “It’s all mine now,” he smiled. “You better seal that deal with a kiss,” she said, and he kissed her. They kissed for a long time, she pulled away to breathe. “How long between scenes do you need?” “Ready when you are, Mrs. Brooks.” “I have been ready since Prom,” she laughed. He flipped her over on her back and started at the top of her head and worked his way down, he took a lot of time with her breasts, and she was amazed at how it made her feel. She felt more responsive than she had with Tommy; she figured it was the pregnancy. He moved to her belly and gave it light kisses. He kissed down one leg and sucked her toes. Oh my, she thought. He kissed her other foot, and each toe met his tongue. He moved up her leg and started nibbling at her inner thigh. “Ryan, you can’t,” she moaned. “I can and I will.” “No, you actually can’t, I think I read something about it because of the baby” she gasped. “We will call your doctor tomorrow then because I really want to,” he said with urgency in his voice. “Okay,” she said. He felt between her legs, and she moaned loudly. “Perfect,” he said. His eyes were on fire, and she was breathing deep and heavy, he moved slowly into her. “Ouch, ouch, ouch,” she said, and he pulled out. “Oh, Jade I’m sorry maybe we should wait,” he said. “Are you kidding me?” she yelled and gasped. He laughed, “If it hurts you, we can wait.” “I don’t want to, just go slow Ryan,” she said and he pushed slowly into her carefully watching her face, she was holding her breath, she cringed. He pulled out again. “If you do that again I’m going to scream, just slow, don’t stop, please,” Jade begged. He used his fingers and slowly moved in again, she smiled at him.
“Half way there Jade,” he said through clenched jaws. She pulled back slightly and he started to as well. “Don’t you dare,” she said. He smiled. “Okay,” he stimulated her breasts and moved further in. “Oh God,” she yelled and pushed towards him. He moved slowly in and out as she yelled his name. “You are beautiful, Jade Brooks.” “And you are amazing Ryan Brooks” she yelled. She set the pace from there, and she reached orgasm over and over again and finally he joined her. “Oh my God,” she said when she finally could catch her breath. “Please let me know when you’re ready again.” “Whenever you are” he smiled. “Good,” she pulled him onto her. “What a gift from above” she laughed when they finished together for the third time. “We are going to take a break and eat.” She went to the bathroom and showered. He ordered room service. When she came out, he kissed her. “I love you,” he walked in the bathroom and showered. He came out in boxers and answered the door and tipped the wait staff. She lay in bed, and he uncovered her. “I want you naked all night,” he said. “You’re so beautiful.” He fed her strawberries, and she fed herself him. She fell asleep after she had eaten veggies and pasta. He watched her sleep and thanked God for her. He cleaned up and lay next to her; she lay with her leg across him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Tessa left Lucas’s at midnight, they had discussed ideas he had for Ryan. Tessa smiled and loved him even more tonight than ever. He was kind and giving and absolutely amazing. His mother was moving in with the therapist when he went to school. They had planned to get married. He acted much more relaxed. She wore his choice that night and when they were done and showered she snuggled with him until he fell asleep. He had to work in the morning and gave Ryan a paid day off. He did expect him to stop over sometime to go over some plans. Her phoned chimed, and it was him - Plans for the weekend?... LL - So business like Mr. Links, kind of hot… LT - Yes you are… LL - work Thursday 7- 3 booster club tent at the big fair from 6- 10’ish between those hours, I plan to be on you if your schedule allows. Friday work from 7- 3 than wedding details, again whenever I can see you I will be showing you how much I miss you, Saturday WEDDING…lots of those this week… noon until five. I would LOVE for you to work with me at the tent from six to ten that night...maybe sneak away for a little loving… Sunday all yours…. LT - I’ll see what I can do about tonight, not looking good though, the rest of the time I’m all yours, I love you… LL - come see me, please… LT - Ryan just walked in. He looks exhausted, hmm wonder how things went, lol. Talk to you soon… LL “Hey, Ryan how are you?” Lucas asked smiling. “Great,” he smiled. “I wonder if all the Ross girls are the same, I swear Tessa could outlast me from day one,” he laughed. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s genetic,” he smiled and laughed. “Are you happy man?” Lucas asked. “Absolutely.” “Cool, I wanted to know what you’re doing about school?” he asked. “Well, I haven’t talked to Jade about it yet, but I was thinking of the first semester taking a few night classes. I saw four that I would have to attend one night a week for three hours, like 7- 10. That would keep me full time. And then I have a couple applications to put in for jobs. My problem is going to be from like eight to ten thirty Jade will be at school, and I plan to take care of the baby, I don’t want that crazy bitch to have the opportunity. But I’ll figure it out, we’ll be fine.” “Okay, so I talked to my father today and he has another job in Ithaca, it starts in two weeks. This one will be done by the middle of next week. Would you consider staying on with us?” he asked. “Lucas I love this job, I just don’t know how it’ll work,” Ryan said. “Can you give me a few hours to work on it? You’re good Ryan, smart, fast, focused, and you actually
want to learn, none of those other guys give any sort of input or come up with ideas. They are truly just here to collect a paycheck. We were thinking you’ll be a foreman, its better pay, we will see where it goes from there. Forty dollars an hour to start Ryan. Oh and my mom is moving out of the house in two weeks, the same time I do. So to sweeten the pot it’s yours and Jade’s, just pay utilities and maintain it. I’m going to ask that I be able to keep my room for when I’m on break or come home. I promise to not be a bother, I’ll throw a gag on Tessa when she’s over, she gets a bit loud,” he laughed. “No, shit! Jade is too,” he said and laughed. “Really?” Lucas said. “Yeah why?” “Oh, never mind.” “No, why?” “Tommy told me everything, and she never finished when she went down, and she was never loud,” he laughed. “Well, marriage must agree with her or pregnancy does, she did both last night,” Ryan laughed. “Nice,” Lucas said. “Real nice,” he laughed. “Alright, I should talk this over with my wife. Why are you doing this?” “I told you, you’re good. And your family now Ryan. Tommy was like a brother to me, and in some way you’ve become that too.” “Thank you, Lucas.” Ryan went back to Jade’s and told her what had happened. The stuff he planned and the offer Lucas had made. Before she had a chance to respond his phone chimed, it was Lucas - My father wants to know if you would be willing to bring the baby with you when Jade is at school. He says babies sleep a lot and with proper planning you could use that time to do paperwork. Let me know as soon as you can. Oh and a company truck and health insurance, he wants you man! How is Mrs. Brooks taking all this?... Lucas Ryan showed Jade the text. “Is that what you want?” “If it’s alright with you.” “Well, it’s a pretty sweet deal.” “Yeah, it is,” he smiled. “Are you ready for all that?” Jade asked. “I have a wife and a baby on the way, I mean a step child, I’m more than ready. And Jade I can’t wait to be able to take care of you the way you should be taken care of.” Ryan kissed her. “Well then,” she said biting her lip, “You text him back and say yes, I’m going to make my mouth happy.” - She said yes and well she is a bit busy right now to say anything else, married life rocks. Thank you again, Lucas… Ryan - Sit back and enjoy man…. LL Tessa called Lucas. “I love you, you’re like a superhero.” “Thanks. I’m busy can I call you back?” he said and then whispered. “I’ll show you super hero later, Love you.” “Lucas you have never been a quiet whisperer,” Landon laughed, Lucas laughed too, “You’re happy.” “Yes I am, she’s absolutely amazing, Dad.”
“Good, school is important Lucas,” he said. “Well, you will be pleased to know she feels that way too. My first semester I have to live on campus, after that we plan to get a place together. I want to work summers to earn enough to get a decent place,” Lucas smiled. “All planned out, huh?” “I think so,” Lucas smiled. “Good, she’s good for you and I am pretty sure you are good for her. So you got it from here?” he asked. “Yeah, Ryan and I will take care of everything else. He’ll be awesome Dad. Anything he needs I can help him out,” Lucas said. “I have no doubt he’ll be fine. I was sort of in his position before. I wish I had someone to give me a chance,” Landon said. *** Lucas was going to surprise Tessa and head to the fair. He walked in, and she was singing karaoke on stage. He loved seeing her sing, especially when it wasn’t with Ben. When she finished, he heard a male scream. “Come here Tessa Ross,” she grinned and dove off the stage. Is she fucking high he thought and stormed over, her arms were wrapped around a tall blonde guy who was smiling from ear to ear. She saw Lucas and smiled. He turned and walked away. “Catch that man,” she jumped on his back and laughed. He ran up to Lucas. “Lucas hold on,” she said laughing. “Are you fucking high?” “Tessa you smoke?” “No, and NO,” she laughed. Lucas walked away; she ran up to him and grabbed him. “You’re going to feel like an idiot,” she hugged him. He stiffened up. “Troy come here you big stud,” Lucas backed away from her. “Troy this is my very hot, extremely annoyed boyfriend, Lucas. Lucas, this is my cousin Troy, my Aunt Josie’s son,” Tessa laughed. “Sorry man — nice to meet you,” he said and extended his hand. “You too! Tessa you grew boobies,” Troy laughed. “Shut up,” she slapped his arm, “Let’s go get dinner and sit and chat.” “Sorry baby,” Lucas kissed her. “And you kiss boys?” Troy laughed. “You think that’s bad? Jade is married,” she laughed. “What?” Troy gasped. “You missed it by one day,” she laughed and held his hand. “I thought I was coming home for Molly's wedding,” Troy laughed “When are you tying the knot Lucas?” “Whenever she is ready,” Lucas smiled. “Are you all crazy?” he asked, “You’re too young for all that shit.” “Lucas, Troy is a slut, big time, much like you used to be,” Tessa laughed. “Hi five for the boy whores,” Troy said. “Ex- boy whore,” he laughed and hi- fived him. “Tessa needs to sing more tonight,” Troy patted her back. “Tessa needs to eat with you and Lucas,” she smiled.
They sat and ate. He told them he was in Ft. Lauderdale now bartending and having a great time. He and some buddies were renting a house on the beach, their lease was for two years. “Hey, Lucas you are going to college, right?” “Yes SU,” he smiled. “Tessa you should come down the week before school starts, it would be great,” Troy smiled. “I’ll think about it, and get back to you,” she said and smiled. Troy got up to get a drink. “So did you think about it?” Lucas asked semi annoyed. “Yes, and no I’m not going, just need to figure out what excuse to use,” Tessa said and laughed. “You want to go, Tessa?” “Do you want me to?” He looked at her, “If you want to.” “Lucas I’d love to, with you. Maybe spring break?” “Maybe.” Tessa looked at him. “Are you mad at me?” “No, I’m tired.” She sat on his lap and kissed him, he wasn’t as relaxed as usual. She bit his lip hard, and he opened his eyes. She pulled back. “Okay, I’m not sure what it is I did, but if you’re going to be grumpy,” she said and started to stand up. He pulled her back down “Sorry Tessa, I really am tired.” “Okay, do you want to leave?” “Not without you,” he pouted. “Lucas I’m supposed to be here for a few more hours. A lot of my family is coming in over the next few nights, go home and sleep. I will sneak over early,” she grinned. “Alright,” he stood up. “Oh, I don’t want you to go,” she stomped. “Compromise, give me an hour, you stay with me, and then I’ll come over and read you a bedtime story,” she grinned. “Fine.” “But you have to dance with me,” she said and dragged him over. He was annoyed. “Lucas do I need to …” she whispered in his ear. “Will that make you happy?” “You could try,” he smirked. “Hey, there you are,” Troy said. “We are, but we have to run to the store real quick I’ll be right back,” she kissed him on the cheek and pulled Lucas behind her. Lucas got in the car and drove down the road, she wasted no time. “Good God Tessa, slowdown,” he moaned. She didn’t listen. Within a few minutes, it was over. She smiled at him, “Better?” “What the hell was that?” Lucas asked. She looked at him, “Are you being serious?” “Well, what the hell Tessa?” She was mad. “Take me back now, Lucas!” He drove and pulled in. She wiped her eyes and jumped out as soon as he parked. She walked fast towards the crowd. “Tessa — wait,” he said as he pushed the keychain remote button and locked the doors. She kept going and flipped him off. He knew he had screwed up. She stomped back to the tent and
went behind the counter. She threw on an apron and started taking orders. Lucas stood with his arms crossed over his chest. Each person’s order she took she would ask them silly questions like, “How fast would you like that?” and “Would you like me to speed that up for you?” or “If the tap on this would go any faster I’m sure it would”. One of her old teammates asked him if he wanted something. His answer was Tessa. “Oh, I will get to him, but by all means I am going to take my time,” she sneered. He stood there for half an hour while the crowd thinned out. “Tessa he has been waiting there for a long time, I think he wants you to take his order,” Sue said. She slowly walked over to him, “What can I get for you Lucas?” “Can we talk Tessa?” “I’m a little busy right now.” He looked around. “Really?” “Well, everyone around here is slow, most people like fast and proficient service, and you know me I just can’t slow down. So maybe you would prefer one of them!” Tessa snapped. He reached across the counter and grabbed her face and kissed her, she pulled back. “Baby I’m sorry.” “Do you think that will make it better?” she scowled. “I was kind of hoping it would. Can you please come talk to me?” he smiled softly. “I will give you a quick minute,” she said sarcastically. She walked around and crossed her arms and tapped her foot. He took her hand and walked over to the bleachers set up in front of the floating dance floor. “I missed you today. I wanted to spend time with you Tessa. I was pissed because you wanted it over and done with so you could get back here. It hurt my feelings.” “So you complain about that?” she said totally disgusted. “I said I was wrong, baby.” “Well, you will be when you’re trying to do that yourself. You made me feel worthless and disgusting and it hurt me Lucas,” she snapped. He looked down and peered up at her, his lip in full pout mode, “I was an ass Tessa, I’m very sorry.” “I accept your apology.” “No, you don’t,” he said, “and I get it.” “You complained, and you got pissed at how I sucked your dick? Yes, I’m pissed that one’s going be a little hard to get out of my head,” Tessa said and stood up, “Goodnight Lucas.” He grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back; he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “Baby I love you, please forgive me,” he kissed her. He felt her relax a bit. He continued to kiss her neck, and she leaned into him. He turned her around, and kissed her face and then her lips. He slowly entered her mouth, and she moaned. All better he thought. She pulled away and tried to steady her breathing. “Tessa, I love you.” “You hurt my feelings today,” she whispered as if she was shocked. “I know I’m sorry,” he said and kissed her neck gently. “Whatever I need to do to make up for it I will.” “I need to get back there,” Tessa said feeling her eyes getting hot. “You won’t come home with me?” he kissed her. “Lucas for what? So I can lay next to you and feel like a disgusting whore?” she asked. “Tessa, you know I don’t feel that way,” he kissed her head and got up. “Can I see you tomorrow?” “I sent you my schedule earlier,” she walked away.
Tessa helped clean up, there weren’t many people there. Her phone chimed - I’m home, and very sorry, I love you Tessa… LL - Glad your home go to sleep...love Tessa - will you let me know when you get home?.. LL - heading there soon… LT She found Troy and gave him a ride, he was loaded and about to hook up with someone Tessa thought he may regret. She got home an hour later. - I am home, going to sleep. Goodnight… LT - I’m still very sorry, and I still miss you very much… LL She didn’t respond. *** Ryan walked into the trailer the next day. Lucas was looking over paperwork and looked frustrated. “Good morning Lucas, everything okay?” Ryan asked. “Just tired, long night,” he said without looking up. “Nice, me too,” he said and laughed. Lucas smiled, “Good for you, mine was not nice, I pissed Tessa off, so now I have to figure out how to make it better.” “You send flowers yet?” Ryan asked. “Oh yes,” he said. *** Tessa arrived, at work and there was a picnic table full of flowers, all yellow roses and white daisies and not just a few, but an entire table full and big balloons that said I’m sorry. There was a huge banner that said “I Love You Baby.” She smiled and shook her head. “He is ridiculous,” she said and laughed out loud. She walked up to the table; Cassidy was standing there looking at one of the notes on a pick. “What the hell did he do, kill your dog?” Cassidy laughed. “No… worse,” she laughed. His phone chimed, and it was her - Really Lucas?!?!?! She attached a picture - Now when everyone asks me what you did how shall I answer them? I think the truth may be a little uncomfortable for all parties… LT - Good morning baby, I actually didn’t think about it that’s a tough one. I don’t know — tell them I forgot to put the toilet seat down. I am still very sorry… LL - You’re ridiculous!... LT She laughed, “Tessa, what did he do?”
“He left the toilet seat up,” she said and laughed. She called her mother. “Hey, what did you guys decide about flowers?” she asked “Well, I think you should ask Molly how she feels about yellow roses and white daisies. If she likes them get her down to the park now.” The kids were starting to get dropped off; she took down the banner and folded it up. She let the first few kids play with the balloons. Molly and Maggie pulled in, and Molly thought they were perfect. They loaded them up. Maggie sent Lucas a text. - The flowers are beautiful. Tessa asked that we use them tomorrow, so thank you… Maggie - You’re welcome… if you need anything, I’ll be done with work at five… Lucas - Perfect, I'm sure Alex and John will need help setting up, give Alex a call, Thank you Lucas… Maggie Okay, so that didn’t work, Tessa obviously didn’t tell her what had happened, he thought. About fifteen minutes before lunch a truck pulled in and delivered ten sheet pizzas. Mark or as Lucas called him, Pizza boy walked up to Tessa. “Your boyfriend had these delivered for you and the kids, he asked me to tell you he was sorry for leaving the seat up?” Tessa laughed and thanked him. Cassidy looked at her and shook her head. His phone chimed, and it was her. - alright enough already, a bit over the top, you could have fed an entire third world country. The kids thank you… LT She attached a picture of the kids holding up letters that spelled out THANK YOU LUCAS. - Still very sorry love you and miss you… LL There were only a few more hours left until Tessa would officially be on summer vacation. She and Cassidy made plans to hang out after Lucas left for school next weekend. An ice cream truck pulled in. Tessa saw a man get out holding a sign with her name on it. She laughed. “Lucas asked that we come and has paid for each kid and staff member to receive an ice cream of their choice. He asks that I tell you he is sorry for leaving the seat up,” he whispered. “It was awful,” she said and laughed. She blew her whistle and the kids came running. “Alright guys remember Lucas, the one who sent the pizzas? Well, he wants each of you to have ice cream!” she shouted. They all cheered and lined up. “Okay, you guys have to do me a favor,” she asked. His phone chimed it was her It was a video. He heard her say, “One, Two, Three” and all the kids yelled. “THANK YOU FOR LEAVING THE SEAT UP, WE ALL FORGIVE YOU!” He laughed and immediately felt relief. - Please tell them they’re all very welcome, and I promise to never ever do it again…LL ***
Tessa pulled into the park with Molly and Maggie. They began to unload coolers. Alex, Cory, John, and Lucas walked out and grabbed them. Phoebe rolled in with the Jeep packed full of all the paper products and linens. Lucas avoided eye contact with Tessa. He looked like a nervous little boy. He had on cargo shorts and a button up plaid shirt. His white hat pulled down low hiding his eyes. He had on flip flops. Tessa loved his perfect feet. He looked so uncomfortable she couldn’t stand it. She walked up to him and purposely bumped his arm with her shoulder. “Hi Lucas,” she said. “Tessa,” he said quietly. “How was your day?” she asked. “It sucked,” he said exasperated. “REALLY?!” she said and walked away. What an ass, she thought to herself. She stomped towards the Jeep, and he ran after her. “What did I do now Tessa,” he asked quietly when he got next to her shoving his hands in his pockets. “It sucked,” she said. “I’m not slow, I catch on fast, you made me feel like shit last night, you do all sorts of over the top sweet things all day long and then you say that.” He closed his eyes and hung his head as he shook it back and forth, “That’s not what I meant Tessa,” he said in a defeated tone. “I’m sorry.” “Hey, Tessa you two want to run up and grab the rest of the stuff? I think one trip will get what we need tonight,” Maggie said as she walked by, “Oh and the flowers, you might need to make two trips.” “I can get it,” Tessa said opening the door. “If you take Lucas’ vehicle, you may be able to make it in one trip Tessa, waste not want not,” Maggie smiled. She let out a frustrated breath. “Fine!” He opened the door for her. “I’m not incapable,” she snapped at him. She turned up the radio, Godsmack’s Whatever came on. She laughed and turned it up. She turned it up louder and laughed again. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He pulled in and turned off the SUV. “Nice song Tessa.” “WHATEVER!” she laughed. She jumped out and popped her headphones in and walked into the house and pet Chewy and grabbed one of the boxes off the table. “There’s more in there,” she said loudly to Lucas. She came in the house singing the song softly. He passed her and closed his eyes. She walked back in and was too busy dancing to notice he was still in the house and bumped into him. She gasped. He pulled her earpiece out. “I’m sorry Tessa,” his nose flared and jaw tightened, and he kissed her with urgency and need. She kissed him back. She dug into his back, as he lifted her up and carried her to the deck. She took his shirt off and saw the superman tee underneath it and smiled. She undid his pants and started to go down and stopped. She closed her eyes and stood up. He knew she would be a pain in the ass about that for awhile. He laid her on the chaise and undressed her. Kissing and touching her everywhere as he removed clothing. She kept her eyes closed, and he kissed down her body. Her back arched as he devoured her, when she relaxed he slowly entered her, and she began to moan loudly. He went faster and harder. She cried out. “Baby… I love you!” he said as he came violently. She laid there trying to catch her breath and her eyes were closed.
“Tess if you don’t say it back I’m going to fucking lose it,” his mouth crashed over hers and he growled into her mouth, “Please tell me you don’t hate me,” he said kissing and nipping at her neck. “Lucas you ass, I love you, but what are you thinking? Pissed doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” she pushed his off grabbing her clothes. “Well, how am I supposed to know that Tessa?!” he asked throwing his clothes on. “You just are, you don’t stop loving someone because you’re angry because they acted like a fuck head one time in five months,” she threw her clothes on. “Well Tessa, all this love stuff is pretty new to me. I may suck at the relationship thing, but I love you and I won’t stop saying it!” he yelled buttoning his shorts. “Well, we have something in common because I apparently suck at sucking,” she yelled and walked away. He started laughing. She looked at him like he was crazy and went in the bathroom and cleaned herself up. He stood outside, “Baby we are fighting after sex now?” “Yes… apparently we do,” she scoffed. “I leave for school in two fucking weeks, it’s not far away, but it still fucks with me knowing I’m not going to be able to be with you every day. I love the way you touch me, the way your lips touch mine and when you’re sucking my cock, it’s fucking amazing! And frankly I’m pretty shocked about last night, five minutes, kind of fucking shocking. I saw you hanging on another guy, and yes I was annoyed. And then felt stupid when I found out he was your cousin,” he said looking down. “I love you I don’t want to fight, I want to see you laugh and smile and look at me like you love me and desire me, that’s all I got Tessa, I’m sorry.” “Well, that’s all I need,” she said as tears formed in her eyes. “I’m going to miss you just as much. I’m a bit touchy too, you’re going to college, and Sadi is going to be there, and I don’t know, what if you meet someone else? What if you get drunk and touch someone else that way that I love for you to touch me? What if you fall in love with someone else?” she covered her face and he hugged her. “That’s not going to happen Tessa, not ever,” he kissed her. Tessa was enjoying being held by Lucas, she needed this, wanted this. Her phone chimed bringing her back to reality Lucas kissed her and walked into the bathroom. - Hey, Tessa do you need any help?... Jade - I think we have it covered, but if you want to come down, you can… Tessa - actually I would love to enjoy my husband some more… Jade - then you do that, have fun… Tessa - oh I am… Jade Tessa laughed. “What’s so funny?” Lucas walked out of the bathroom. “Jade. I think she has been very busy.” “I’m pretty sure of it, Ryan looks happy but tapped,” he laughed. They got in the car. “Baby you think you can do that again? Before we get to the park?” he asked. She looked at him, “Nope.” “Okay then,” he said. “That’s not going to happen again is it?” he asked looking disappointed. She smiled, “As if I could stop myself from wanting you every second I see you,” she smiled. “Your feet even turn me on,” she smiled and went down.
They pulled into the park just as she sat up. “Nice Tessa,” he fixed himself as she got out. He popped the hatch and jumped out. “My feet?” “Yes, they’re sexy,” she smiled. He laughed, “No Tessa, sexy is what I see in front of me, with a dash of hot, quite a dash.” Troy came running out and swung her around. “Tessa your shirts on inside out,” he whispered. She ran into the bathroom. He laughed and looked at Lucas, who was giving him an odd look. “Her shirt was on inside out,” he laughed. Lucas turned red, “Sorry man.” “Just don’t hurt her, and it’ll be all good,” Troy patted him on the back. “I won’t,” Lucas said. Everyone left, and Tessa stood outside with Lucas and waved. “Will you come stay with me?” “I have a lot to do here.” “Oh, I thought it looked great.” “It does, but it's going to look amazing,” she smiled. “You don’t have to stay I know you're probably tired Superman.” “You noticed,” he said looking at his shirt. “Of course,” she kissed him, “Go home.” “I would like to stay and help if you’re alright with that.” “Promise you won’t distract me?” she laughed. “I’ll do my worst,” he winked. Tessa grabbed a few totes from the back of the Jeep. They brought them in and opened them. There were yards and yards of white silky material. They covered all the walls and the ceiling. She added coverings over the chairs. Everything was white and looked soft and very romantic. She grabbed the yellow ribbon and tied bows around the centerpieces and took thicker yellow material out and tied it around the chairs and made perfect bows. The room looked like it was out of a magazine. She stood back and smiled. “Tessa you did it Baby — it looks amazing,” he said taking down the ladder. “How did you come up with this?” “I probably saw it in a magazine, but the inspiration was the flowers,” she smiled. “Thank you for everything today, it was sweet. Completely over the top and unnecessary, I would never have stayed angry at you Lucas. But it made for a fun day. I love you,” Tessa kissed him. He held her face and kissed her gently. “I love you baby.” Tessa loved when he called her baby, it was a complete turn on. She knew when he called her that it was going to lead to something that made her scream his name. “Can we go for a walk?” Tessa said pointing to the stone bridge that passed over the water. Lucas smiled and took her hand. They walked up, and she sat on the stone wall and watched the water rush down from the falls behind the trees. “I think they should say their vows here, it’s beautiful.” Lucas watched as she took in the scene, he wanted to make love to her right here but was a little apprehensive. He didn’t want to make her angry again. She turned and looked at him; his eyes were heavy and his stare very recognizable. She smiled, “Here Lucas?” he shook his head yes. “I was thinking the same thing.” When they finished, they walked back to the pavilion arm in arm. “Will you stay with me tomorrow?”
“Yes,” her face hardened a bit and she looked down and scowled. “What’s going on Tessa?” he asked. “Two weeks and that won’t be an option,” she said quietly. “We’ll figure it out,” he hugged her, “Promise me Tessa because right now I could say screw it all and be totally happy staying here forever.” That sounded perfect to her, but knew someday they would probably feel like her mother like she didn’t do all that she could and should have. “I promise Lucas.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN The Ross’ arrived at the pavilion, and Lucas was standing outside in a suit and tie. Tessa smiled and got out of the car. She stopped to take him in and then took a picture, he laughed and she ran up and kissed him. “You look amazing,” he kissed her again. “And you Lucas,” Tessa said looking him over, “Smokin’ hot.” Maggie came out and cleared her throat. “Tessa did you do that?” she asked. “We did,” she said. “Do you like it?” “It is beautiful; Molly is going to be so impressed. Thank you, both,” she hugged them and walked away. “Thank my lucky stars she hugged me from the side,” Lucas said smiling at Tessa. She looked confused. He grabbed her and pulled her close. “Oh, yeah good thing. Dead puppies Lucas,” she grinned and grabbed his hand and walked in. They all sat, and Molly walked in with John. She never wore makeup or anything revealing and she had never looked more beautiful. Cory stared at her; it was like he was seeing her for the first time. “Do you want to know what he’s thinking?” Lucas whispered. Tessa laughed and shook her head no. The ceremony was perfect; short and sweet — both of their faces were red after they kissed. Cory could not keep his eyes off of her the entire time. Ryan and Jade couldn’t keep their hands off each other. As they all danced, Ryan looked at Lucas. “Cory has no idea what he’s in store for,” Ryan laughed. Lucas smiled, “I think he’ll figure it out tonight.” “What is that supposed to mean?” Tessa asked. “Nothing baby,” he kissed her head. *** Molly and Cory left and headed up north for a week. They were going to Old Forge to a cabin on one of the lakes. Lucas had given them a cabin for a week as a wedding gift. He’d be done with his job on Wednesday, and Ryan had a week between jobs to read and learn some computer programs. The four of them were going to go up and share a cabin for three nights. Lucas was going to help Ryan. Jade and Tessa planned to lounge. Alex and Phoebe both had to work but thought they would be able to bring Kendall and Jake up on Friday night. It was supposed to rain all weekend at home so there wouldn’t be much to do on the farm. Maggie was working, and John was going to do some maintenance on the equipment. Lucas and Ryan worked long hours for the remaining three days. Jade and Tessa kept busy discussing in great detail how much Jade enjoyed Ryan. The girls all went and got there Mani Pedi’s and Tessa got waxed. Then they went out to lunch. They shopped for supplies for their trip and made food to bring. Jade and Tessa met the guys at the job site the last day. Lucas was handing out envelopes containing bonuses for finishing the job ahead of schedule and without incident. Lucas thanked them for their work and introduced Ryan as his replacement for those staying on. Jade smiled, she was so proud of him. Ryan was amazing, the way he took care of her, filled every need and put her before himself: she loved him. Jade never would have thought six months ago she could ever be happy again. She vowed to herself that she would never go a day without letting him know how
much he meant to her. He walked over to her and bent down to kiss her and then kissed her belly. Tessa thought that was one of the most beautiful things she had ever witnessed. She was so happy for Jade and Ryan. Lucas came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. “Hey baby,” he said and she smiled. They waved goodbye to Jade and Ryan. “You rode with Jade?” “Yes, I wanted to ride home with you,” she looked around. “When does the trailer leave?” she asked smiling. He grinned and took her hand, and they went inside. “This your desk, Mr. Links?” He locked the door. “Yes Miss Ross — it is,” he smiled. She lifted her sundress above her head, and he clenched his jaw. She took her bra off and turned around and slowly took off her panties. She turned around and smiled and narrowed her eyes. “Miss Ross when did you do that?” he asked swallowing hard. “Two days ago Mr. Links, do you approve?” “Uh Huh,” Lucas said. She sat on his desk, and he pulled his shirt off over his head as he walked over to her and dropped to his knees. They walked out an hour later both exhausted and smiling. He opened the door for her and kissed her head. “I love you baby.” “I love you Mr. Links,” she said and laughed. On Thursday morning, Lucas picked up Tessa and loaded up the coolers and bags. “I can’t wait to have you for four days,” he kissed her. “I can’t wait to be had,” she smiled. They picked up Ryan and Jade. Tessa hopped in the back and let Ryan sit up front. He was too tall to sit in the back. She reached up and rubbed Lucas’s head, and he sat back. “I’m not trying to be rude,” Jade said, “but should we drive separately?” Ryan and Lucas both laughed “What’s so funny?” “Nothing Jade, I think we should all ride together, it’ll be fun,” Ryan said. “Then you need to sit back here,” she pouted. “You don’t like me,” Tessa said and rubbed her belly. “Not as much as I like him,” she looked down. “Can I sit up here for an hour, Jade?” Ryan smiled back at her. “I guess.” “Didn’t you take care of her before we got there?” Lucas asked. “Did you take care of Tessa?” Jade asked. “Okay,” Tessa said. The guys laughed. “What’s so funny?” she asked. “The Ross girl’s rock,” Lucas said, and they both laughed. “We do,” Tessa said and hi- fived Jade. “You’re two lucky boys.” “We certainly are,” Ryan said and reclined his seat back so that he could hold Jade’s hand. They set up camp and Jade, and Ryan took frequent walks in the woods. When they were gone, Tessa and Lucas took full advantage of the time alone. Tessa walked out of the cabin and wrapped herself in a blanket; she sat next to the dying fire and looked at the sky. She couldn’t shake the emptiness she was
starting to feel already. Tessa knew that Monday Lucas started practice and that the next week he would be living in Syracuse. She loved him but in the pit of her stomach she felt that he wouldn’t be satisfied with just seeing her a few times a week. He was going to be so busy with school and ball. He would be traveling for games and studying for tests. He would be meeting new people, and Sadi was going to be there too. She couldn’t even imagine the dreadful things she would do to try and break them apart. She felt tears and let them go. She was alone and wouldn’t have to put her thoughts into words for anyone. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” Lucas asked sitting behind her and wrapping himself around her. “You’re not worried about the bear around here?” She reached her hand behind her and ran her hands through his hair, “Just enjoying the beautiful night,” she said leaning back. He turned her face and kissed it, “You’ve been crying Tessa, why?” “Oh, I was just thinking about how much I was going to miss you,” she laughed. “Tessa we’ll be fine, right?” he asked. “Yes Lucas, I’m just going to miss you.” “Don’t miss me yet, baby,” he whispered and kissed her neck and caressed her body; “I love you.” They made love in front of the smoldering fire under the canopy of pine trees. The stars twinkled down through the clouds sparingly. She started to fall asleep and he kissed her. They walked inside together. She used the bathroom and they fell asleep fully satisfied, wrapped in each other embrace. The next day they spent relaxing by the lake. “Lucas I think we should get tattoos of each other’s names on our backs,” kissed his chest and then pulled his chin down and kissed his beautiful full lips. “Oh, you do?” “Yep, they do tattoos at the water park, you up for that?” “Um okay,” he said. “You go first?” He looked at her confused, “If that’s what you want.” “More than anything,” she hugged him. “Not small either, like I want it across our whole back. I’m so happy we’re going to do this together!” While cleaning up from lunch, Tessa was carefully rinsing off the tin foil. “What are you washing that for?” Lucas laughed. “She is having an Aunt Ann moment,” Molly giggled and patted Tessa’s back. “Did you guys know she was married before Uncle Fred?” Tessa asked. “NO!” Molly laughed. “She was, and she was pregnant. Her first husband died in World War II. She miscarried and didn’t know until it was too late. She could never have babies after that,” Tessa said gazing into the water. “You’re talking about your eccentric aunt?” Jade giggled. Tessa smiled, “Yes, I adored her. Well, her Joe was her first love, he drove her crazy, and they were very passionate. There was a man working on the camp next door while I was there and she said he reminded her of him. She was crushing on him big time.” “Was he cute?” Jade asked. “I have no idea; she made me take a plate of food to him the first night. He was working inside and sawing, so I put the food inside the door. I never saw him,” Tessa smiled. “So Ann had a crush?” Molly laughed. “She certainly did. The second night… the last night… she took him a plate again. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. I saw it through the window. It was so sweet. When she came back, she was glowing,” Tessa said smiling as she wiped tears away. “You never met him?” Jade asked.
“I sort of did, when the paramedics came the next morning… well I was holding her and didn’t want them to take her. He followed them in and pulled me off of her and held onto me while I cried. He was a good man, he called Pastor Lou. I was in the shower when Pastor Lou got there, and he left. I’m happy he showed her so much kindness before she died,” Tessa wiped more tears away, “He was her Joe.” “What about Uncle Fred?” Molly asked. “Well, he courted her for three years before she finally accepted his proposal. He was the love of her life. Her partner, her friend, her forever,” Tessa answered. Lucas held her and kissed her head, “You okay?” “I am, these are happy tears. We need to reuse this tin foil,” Tessa said as she placed it in the basket with the paper plates, “She wouldn’t be happy that we are using paper plates either.” Molly laughed, “I’m glad you were there, Tessa.” “Me too,” Tessa smiled. *** The six of them walked from the campground to the park. The girls walked together, laughing and talking about when they were younger, and their whole family used to come here together. The guys walked behind them, Ryan asked Cory how things were, and laughed. Cory smiled and shook his head, “Better than I ever could have ever expected.” “So Lucas, Molly tells me that you’re getting tattoos today,” Cory laughed. “I guess we are,” he looked down. They walked through the gate, and Tessa and Lucas watched as the others rode the colorful chairlifts that followed the main path high above the crowd. He was nervous, and Tessa was very excited. “You ready Lucas Links?” she asked. He smiled and shook his head yes. She took his hand, and they changed into their suits. She wore black boy short bottoms and a matching top. His white shorts looked great with his golden skin and hung perfectly on his hips. He immediately noticed guys checking her out. She immediately noticed how perfect he was, from head to perfect toes. “You ready?” “Yes,” he said glaring at the males checking her out. “Then what’s wrong?” “The pigs checking you out.” “Let them look, I’m yours Lucas,” she said and put her arm around his waist and tucked her thumb just inside his waistband. “I am going to have LUCAS’ tattooed instead, okay?” she laughed. He shook his head and smiled shyly. They walked up to the booth, and she smiled. He read the sign, Airbrushed Tattoos. “This okay?” she asked and laughed. “Yes Tessa, you really had me going,” he said looking relieved. “I can’t believe you were going to.” “Neither can I,” he kissed her. He got her name across his lower back just above his waistband, she tried to talk him into pink, but he insisted on black. She did the same color and had LUCAS’ tattooed across hers. He was uncomfortable watching her bend over the chair and having the guy stencil and paint her. “Could you get that across your forehead too?” he asked as his eyebrow rose. “Lucas, it’s already on my heart,” she batted her eyelashes and laughed. He kissed her, and they boarded the Alpine lift. She had her hands on him as soon as they were away from the boarding platform. “Tessa, you’re very naughty.”
“This would be fun in the dark, you know what, there is a playground at the camp, I want to sit on your lap and swing tonight,” she bit her lip. “Sounds like fun, baby,” he said trying to control his breathing. “Baby you got to stop, I need time to calm down.” “Fine.” He laughed. And she leaned her head on his shoulder. He kissed her head. They spent the rest of the day at the pool and on water slides. Tessa and Lucas lay on their stomachs to tan their backs. Jade and Ryan left early to head back, she said she was tired, but Tessa knew otherwise. Molly and Cory went ahead of them. They lounged holding each other and talking until the park closed. “I had such a great time today Lucas, thank you,” she kissed his cheek on their walk back to camp. It was so nice being in public with him, there was nothing sexual going on after the chair lift and the very playful Lucas was so much fun. “Me too, baby,” he smiled. She grinned, baby huh? Too many people around and she would hate to get poison ivy on her butt. Well, her knees would be fine she thought as she pulled him into the woods. *** Alex, Phoebe, Kendall and Jake were there when they walked up to the cabin. Phoebe hugged Tessa, and she cringed. “Oh, boy Tessa — you got burnt today,” she said. “I guess I did,” Tessa said. “We used sunscreen,” Lucas said as he looked her over. “Sorry, I thought I did a good job putting it on.” “Tessa that's going to hurt,” Jake’s face scrunched up. “I’ll be fine. Did you guys bring bikes?” Tessa asked, and they shook their heads yes. “Well let’s ride down to the little store and get some Aloe, that’ll help.” They rode their bikes and Lucas and Tessa walked behind them. The store was full of temptations for the kids. Tessa had no problem saying no. Lucas went back in and bought half of the things they had asked for. Tessa shook her head when he came out with two bags full of stuff. “You are so bad.” Phoebe, Jade, and Molly were setting up for dinner when they got back. Alex and Ryan played catch with the kids. Lucas took Tessa in the camp to help apply the Aloe. She pulled her hair up in a bun and started rubbing her shoulders and arms. Lucas locked the door to the bedroom and carefully took her clothes off her. “Laydown, I’ll take care of you.” She did, and he applied the lotion to her back, he put some on her butt. “Lucas that was covered” she laughed. “Leave me alone baby,” he laughed. He continued rubbing her butt and the back of her legs and up her thighs. “Roll over please,” he said, his voice deep. “It needs to dry Lucas.” He started lightly blowing on her to dry it, it felt good. “Lucas” she whispered. “Shhh,” he said and continued. She laid there and enjoyed until she was dry. She rolled over, and he squirted it on her belly and slowly rubbed it in. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. He moved up and applied more. Her eyes opened as he moved lower.
“Lucas, please” she whispered. “It has to dry,” he continued up her inner thigh. He began to blow on her again. She couldn’t stand it. “You have to stop,” she whimpered. He continued and shook his head no, keeping his eyes on her body. She saw his jaw tighten, and he went down. She buried her head in a pillow as she came. She sat up and pushed him beside her and straddled him. It was very hard to be quiet, but they managed. He grabbed one of his tee shirts and helped her put it on. He knelt down and kissed her belly and held out her shorts for her to step into. “Love you, baby,” he whispered. She applied Aloe to his golden back and chest. They walked out, and everyone was eating. They sat down and ate with them. They talked about their plans for the next day. The kids were excited to go to the water park the next day. They arrived home on Sunday afternoon. Lucas helped them carry their stuff inside and put things away. “I’m going to take off,” he kissed her; “I’ll see you tomorrow at about two?” “I want to go with you and help you get ready for the week.” “You should probably stay home; all I’m going to do is laundry. Oh and go for a run a little later, I haven’t done that in awhile. I’m probably going to regret that tomorrow” he laughed. “Okay,” she said softly, “Text when you get home?” “Of course” he smiled. “See you tomorrow, I love you.” Her phone chimed, and it was him - Home… LL - Sore… LT - Sorry, baby… LL - Not all of it is your fault, lol… LT - I hope not… LL - call me later?.... LT - of course… LL - I love you… LT - I love you too baby. I love us… LL - So sweet, I love us too… LT The week was busy; Lucas was in Syracuse from nine until two every day and should probably be staying with his team, but wanted to be home. Tessa was helping coach Kendall’s field hockey team and helping Lucas’s mother move. Jade and Ryan would be moving in the house in two weeks. - LUCAS!! I miss you!... LT - At lunch missing you too, what’s your plan for the weekend? There is a party up here Saturday night a bunch of my team is getting together, will you come with me?... LL - After practice, I’m heading up there to take Kendall and Jake school
shopping, can you meet us? If you don’t want to… I get it. Of course, I’ll go with you tomorrow…. LT - I’ll meet you at two- thirty, when will you be up?... LL - We are leaving in about thirty minutes… LT - Drive safe baby, I love you… LL - I love you s’mores… LT
CHAPTER TWENTY Kendall would be going into tenth grade and had grown a lot over the summer. She wanted a different style than last year. She was beautiful, tall and thin. Her hair was long and curly like Tessa’s. They went into the trendy stores and quickly spent the money her parents had given them. Jake wanted to wait for Lucas, he thought he may know a little more about guy clothes, Tessa agreed. - Where are you?.. LL - third floor take the elevator we will meet you there… LT He got off the elevator; he had just showered and smelled amazing. She hugged him, and he kissed her. “You sure about this?” “Yeah, it'll be fun,” Lucas said. “I don’t know… Jake wants you to help him pick out stud clothes” she laughed. “I want to take Kendall to get some new underclothes. Lucas… she has boobies now,” she whispered. He laughed, “Alright you go ahead I got Jake.” They met back an hour later. Jake had five bags including one from the shoe store. Kendall hid her pink bag inside another bag, she was embarrassed. Tessa winked at Lucas, and he laughed. “Lucas bought me the sneakers mom said I couldn't waste money on,” Jake announced. “That was very nice of him,” she scowled at Lucas. “Tessa bought me some things Mom told me I couldn’t get to,” Kendall said and Tessa’s face turned red. “Secret Kendall?” Lucas laughed and scowled. Tessa hugged him. “Have you gotten your school clothes yet Tessa?” “Not yet. I figured after I help you unpack Sunday I would come over, retail therapy will help distract me,” she smiled. “Kendall and Jake, I think we should help her pick out some clothes, what you think?” he asked. They went into a couple stores, and anything she tried on that touched her body he said no. He handed her clothes a size bigger than she wore. She came out, and he gave her the thumbs up, and Kendall and Jake laughed. “Good. I think this is perfect to wear to your games,” she said. “No, I’ll pick you up some game day clothes, I hope you like orange” he smiled. They left, and she had a few pairs of jeans and some long sleeved tees. She thought they would be perfect for game days in the chilly fall upstate New York weather. “You do know I’ll be coming back,” she said to Lucas. They all laughed. They stopped, and he grabbed some stuff for him. Mostly athletic clothes. They planned to hang out at the Ross’s that night after they moved the rest of Lucas’s mom’s things. *** They looked at the empty house, and Lucas smiled. “Weird to have her stuff gone.” “Lucas she’s just twenty minutes away,” Tessa said and smiled at him. “I know, and she has been doing really well.”
“It's time for you to worry about what Lucas needs,” she smiled. “I need one thing Tessa, you” he hugged her. “Food and water too,” she said laughing. “Do you know it has been a year Tessa, a year ago I saw you and knew I needed you? I just didn’t know how badly,” he said softly. “The white hat boys,” she giggled. “The scowling farm girl who had no idea how hot she was or how she could change this naughty boy,” he kissed her. “It has been a crazy year Tessa; I wouldn’t have made it without you, thank you.” “Lucas thank you. I’m so glad that even though I never would have imagined life could be so perfect even through chaos it’s been, I love you more than I ever imagined possible,” she kissed him. He picked her up and carried her upstairs. *** Saturday morning she woke to a situation and was very annoyed. Well, at least last night was perfect; his entire house had been used before she returned home. Her phone chimed, and it was him - Good morning baby, there is a bag in the back of your Jeep. Grab it there’s an outfit and swimsuit for today, text me back and tell me what you think?.... LL There wasn’t a bag, there were three. Two were full of SU apparel, and a note, GAME DAY. Another contained some of the clothes she had tried on the day before and he had nixed, attached was another note I TRUST YOU, NOT THE BOYS. The other was obviously for today. A hot pink swim outfit, boy shorts and a halter top with a wrap skirt. A pair of khaki loose fitting wide legged pants and a black tight tank top and a cropped denim jacket. - Lucas thank you. I am not sure about the swim attire, I have a SITUATION. Which sucks!... LT - I will pick you up in an hour, the situation is unfortunate, bring the suit anyway. The fact that it SUCKS will make it much easier to deal with, lol… LL She laughed and showered - how would you like my hair?... LT - wrapped around my hands… LL - I figured since you're now my personal stylist I should ask… LT - DOWN, and wild… LL She laughed as she dried her hair and put on makeup. He pulled in and she ran out. He smiled. “I do good work,” he hugged her. “Maybe you’ve missed your calling,” she giggled and kissed him. *** They pulled into the driveway and got out. It was loud, and she was nervous. “You alright?” he asked. “Are you?” she held his hand tighter. They walked through the gate to the pool. There was a ton of people. Jose walked up to them.
“Hey, man you made it,” he said and grabbed Lucas’s shoulder, “Who is this?” he said and looked her up and down. “Jose this is Tessa, Tessa this is Jose.” “Oh yes, the monkey on your back” he laughed referring to the tattoo. “He’s on mine to Jose,” she laughed. She turned around and lifted her shirt a bit showing him. He looked at Lucas and mouthed nice man. Lucas smiled “I know.” Tessa noticed all the girls and immediately became insecure. “I need to use the bathroom” she whispered to him. He took her hand, and they went to find it. He waited outside the door for her. “You okay, Tessa?” he asked when she came out. “Yes I am fine.” They walked outside and stood and listened to a bunch of them talk football. She listened and smiled politely. Lucas wasn’t a starter, the senior Miles was. He was pretty nice. He smiled at Lucas and Tessa often. Tessa knew Lucas should be rubbing elbows with the guys and went to grab a drink. She waited in line to get to the cooler. She heard a group of girls talking about the new hottie quarterback, and she looked down. “Hey, you’re new, what’s your name?” one of them said. “Hi I am Tessa,” she said and smiled, “hottie new quarterback girlfriend.” “So you’ll be around a lot then,” the brunette smiled. “Yes, I plan to be.” “Well then we should all get to know each other, we are each here with our boyfriends” she smiled. “We hope you’re not upset about the hottie new boyfriend thing, we didn’t mean anything by it,” she said, “I’m Jenny, our hotty old quarterback's girlfriend.” “Thank you for the explanation,” Tessa said. “Did you get lost, baby?” Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist and kissing her head. “No — sorry Lucas, I just met a few people,” she smiled. “Lucas this is Jenny, Miles’ girlfriend, Jenny this is Lucas, hotty new quarterback.” Lucas looked confused, Tessa and Jenny laughed. “Things are good here?” Lucas whispered in her ear. Tessa turned around and kissed him, “I think so.” He held his forehead to hers, “You sure baby?” She smiled, “Go have fun, I’ll be fine.” He stared at her mouth and traced his finger on her lips. “We can leave.” “I can do that later” she smiled. “Do what?” he said and grinned. “You never mind,” she pushed him back. Music started, and Jenny dragged Tessa with her and the girls. They danced and laughed. Tessa liked Jenny, they had fun together. Jenny was from a small town in Ohio and was at SU on a full scholarship. She and Miles both grew up together. “Can he dance?” Tessa asked. “What? Miles? I don’t know?” she laughed. “Let’s go get them and make them,” Tessa said. “Oh no, he wouldn't,” Jenny said. “You go get Lucas, and I’ll get him,” Tessa smiled. Tessa asked Miles to dance, Lucas was a bit shocked.
Jenny grabbed Lucas, “Let’s go” and dragged him out. Lucas looked at Tessa dancing with Miles, who looked uncomfortable at first. “I don't dance,” Lucas said. “Your girlfriend seems to think you can” Jenny smiled. “Miles doesn’t either.” “Looks like he can,” Lucas said as he saw him spin and dip Tessa. “I guess he can,” she smiled “Do you mind if I go cut in?” “No, send Tessa over here” he smiled. Tessa smiled as she walked up to Lucas and grabbed his hand dragging him out to dance. “I don’t think so Tessa” he laughed. “Please” she begged, “I know you can move” she smiled, “I know it very well.” He followed her to the center of the dance floor. They drove home and laughed as he talked about his new teammates. “I think you’re going to like it there,” Tessa smiled. “I think I’m going to be too exhausted to like it.” “What do you mean?” “School and as much of you as I can get,” he kissed her hand. “I feel like I should be ecstatic that I’m playing here, but all I can think of is December.” “We’re going to be busy, and we’re going to be fine. God I hope we are fine.” She whispered. He pulled over at a rest stop. “Tessa if you don't want this, you need to tell me now,” he said frustrated. “Hey, where is this coming from?” she asked. “I just need you to promise me Tessa,” he grabbed her face. “I promise Lucas,” she said. *** They pulled into her driveway, “Can you come in?” “Yes, who’s home?” he asked. “Doesn’t look like anyone is?” she said and jumped out and ran inside. “Come on Lucas.” He smiled and followed her in. She dragged him upstairs. “I have something for you” he smiled and raised his eyebrow. She grinned and pushed him down. “You are amazing,” he said after Tessa finished with him. “Can you go downstairs? I’ll be there in a minute” she smiled. She came downstairs with a bag. “I have a few things for you” she smiled and sat next to him and handed him the bag. “Open it.” He opened the bag, inside was a quilt. She had gone through his closet and taken all the Tee shirts that he had from sports that he had participated in. She had bought a few SU ones and some from the Adirondacks so that it made up enough for a queen size blanket. She had made an album from Christmas until their trip last weekend. He took his time looking through it. “I love them Tessa,” he kissed her. “There's one more,” she said. He looked in the bag; he pulled out a black leather book. He opened it, his eyes widened, and he closed them for a few seconds. He looked through each picture swallowing hard and taking deep breaths. “When did you do this?” he asked. “Jade and I worked on it a couple weeks ago.” “You look incredible.” “They are in order from first to last one worn.” She smiled.
“Oh, I remember” he smiled, looking through it again. “No pictures of your face, hardly anyone with even the back of your head.” “If anyone saw this, I would die Lucas,” she laughed. And I can remind you what the back of my head looks like anytime you want she thought, she yawned. “You tired?” “Please stay, we can sleep on the couch, I don’t want you to leave,” she said sounding panicked. “Okay Tessa” he hugged her. “Thank you,” she said. They lie face to face and fell asleep. *** The next day they got up and drove to Lucas,' his Dad met them there, and they drove up together. Tessa sat quietly in the back as Landon and Lucas talked. He went in and registered, and Tessa sat back watching all the girls check him out, several said hello and he just nodded. He finished and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go check out my new place.” They drove to south campus and walked into his building, she was relieved that it was not co- ed and that most if not all of the residents were from the football team. He had a private room. It was not as small as she’d thought it would be. She helped him make his bed, and he pulled out the quilt and threw it over the bed. “That’s very interesting,” Landon said. “Tessa did it for me,” he smiled. A book fell out of the bag; Landon picked it up and opened it. It was a black leather book with photos of Tessa modeling each naughty outfit she had worn for Lucas. Tessa noticed he had it and shot Lucas a look. Lucas took it from him and smiled. “Oh, Tessa make that too?” Landon laughed. She blushed, and Lucas smiled. When they finished, they walked around campus and found his classes. They went to lunch and then hit the bookstore. Tessa was shocked to see how expensive books were, how could people afford this? How were my parents going to do this for two of us? She thought. *** Landon and Tessa left after a quiet goodbye. “Tessa how often do you plan to visit Lucas?” “I’m not sure. I think he is going to be very busy,” she said quietly. “I think he’s going to want to see you whenever he can.” “I feel the same way.” “Good, this is important for him. I hope that you understand he’s going to need you.” Tessa smiled. His phone chimed - I’m home. I hope you’re having fun… LT - Actually I am a bit overwhelmed, and I want to see you. Can you come back, baby?… LL - How about tomorrow after practice?... LT - I have a thing… LL - Oh, okay. Well, why don’t we wait until like Thursday or Friday?... LT
- WHY?... LL - I have practice every day and have to help around here I have slacked a bit this summer… LT - Whatever… LL - Please don’t be like that; this is hard for me to Lucas… LT - Well… bend a bit… LL - Day one and this has already started, not cool Lucas, I miss you and actually don’t enjoy this either… LT - Okay, so why on Friday?… LL - situation would be rectified by then… LT - oh, well alright then… LL - all better now?... LT - not really… LL - I love you Lucas… LT - see you Friday… LL - call me before you go to bed… LT - nope, see you Friday… LL Tessa did not respond. She needed to blow off some steam. She grabbed her shoes and went for a run. When she got back, she made dinner and helped Kendall go through her supply list. She put dinner in the oven and showered. She went upstairs and saw her phone on her bed. There were three text messages and two missed calls from Lucas. Shit, she thought and called him. “Hello,” he said quietly. “Hi- — sorry! I left the phone on my bed when I went running with Kendall. Are we okay?” she asked softly. “Did you read the texts?” “No, not yet I was just excited you called,” she said. “Ok, don’t and then delete the messages too. I was being an ass sorry. I’m just not used to sitting on my ass, and I miss you,” he said. “Things will be different when you’re overwhelmed with class work, Lucas, I’m sorry you feel that way,” she said, “I love you.” “I love you baby,” Lucas said quietly, “please delete the messages.” “Hey, do you have any free time in the afternoon before practice?” Tessa asked. “I think I have from like two to four free why?” he said. “I was just wondering,” she giggled. “I love you, call me before bed?” “I am in bed.” “Lucky bed,” she whispered. He laughed, “I love you, baby.” They got off the phone, and she checked his messages.
- if this is how you’re going to be then maybe we should rethink this… Lucas - No reply? Silence speaks volumes Tessa… Lucas - Are you fucking kidding me right now Tessa, grow up!… Lucas Wow, she thought, that easy huh? She was pissed. Her phone chimed it was him - Did you delete the messages baby?… LL - Nope… LT - Are we okay?... LL - I am, I wish I knew where your head was when you texted… LT - Sorry, forgive me?... LL - Of course, goodnight Lucas… LT She decided she wouldn’t go up tomorrow. It was impossible to think that he could get so angry on day one. She hoped things were going to be alright, only three months she thought. Over the next few weeks, Tessa went to see Lucas on Wednesdays. She went to all his home games and watched him miserably sit the bench most of the time. When he had away games, she stayed home and attended Alex’s games at Cornell. Sundays he came home about twice a month. The hunting crew still shot on Sundays and Tessa, and Lucas had lots of time to be alone, him being gone made each time that more intense. Her phone chimed - Hey, Tessa can we do Doe Camp for your birthday tonight?... Phoebe - Sounds great!... Tessa - Cool — how about six tonight?... Phoebe - Sure I’ll pick you up… Tessa Her phone chimed again - Hey, baby we won our game. I got to play for more than five minutes… LL - Awesome job Lucas! Will I see you tomorrow?... LT - We will see, not sure when we’ll be in… LL She wondered if he remembered her birthday. She remembered his, pretty unforgettable. She thought about the 2 B’s in his bed and shook her head. Maybe birthdays aren’t that big of a deal she thought. She picked up Phoebe. And they headed up. They pulled in, and there were several cars. She looked at Phoebe and frowned. “You only turn nineteen once Tessa,” Phoebe smiled. Tessa got out, and everyone was there, her hockey team, her family, Cassidy, and Ben. Oh boy… she thought wondering if Lucas knew about this. When she got out she saw a basket of flowers, yellow roses, and white daisies, she read the card. Wish I could be there baby. Have fun. Love, Lucas
She talked with everyone and avoided a lot of interaction with Ben. Molly and Cory were even there. “Tessa can we steal you for a minute?” Molly asked. They walked away from the crowd. “So Cory thinks I should wait, but it’s your birthday. I wanted to tell someone, well you and what a perfect day to share… on your birthday. You just have to promise not to tell anyone for a while,” she said grinning. “Are you?” Tessa asked. “Yes,” Molly said and hugged her. “Honeymoon baby, I guess.” “Oh, Molly I am so happy for you,” she hugged her and then Cory. He smiled, “Thanks, Tessa, but we truly just found out yesterday, she still needs to have blood work so, please keep this to yourself okay?” “Killjoy,” Molly laughed. The party was a blast, she danced with Kendall and her friends, and they ate and danced some more. The older family members started leaving, and Alex made a bonfire. The music was still going, and Tessa was still dancing. She heard Ben on a microphone, “Birthday girl.” She shook her head no. He dropped to his knees, “Please Tess.” “Just go sing Tessa,” Jade pushed her. She sang with Ben, and they laughed. “You still have a band?” she asked. “A new one.” “That’s cool — do you guys play anywhere?” “Right now we’re just getting a playlist together and trying to figure it out. Want me to sing one I am working on?” he asked and jumped up. “Of course.” Ben got up and sang Blurry a new song she hadn’t heard. It was a break up the song, and she wondered what he was thinking. He finished and stared at her for a few seconds and then played another. Jane Says, by Jane’s Addiction. He smiled and looked at the thirty kids standing around; he walked out and got everyone dancing. Everyone including Alex was dancing. He made Tessa sing It’s All Been Done by Barenaked Ladies with him alternating verses and singing the chorus together. A car pulled in, and a bunch of people got out. They were having too much fun singing and laughing to notice. He played the guitar solo on air guitar, she danced and laughed. They sang One Week next. He sang and took his shirt off at the part that called for it, and threw it, and it landed on Kendall. During the rap parts, she danced with Kendall and her girls. She sang with him for the chorus. Everyone cheered, and she bowed and laughed. “Alright solo song for our birthday girl Tess,” he played a song she had just recently started listening to, Zombie. “You got this?” Ben laughed. “I absolutely do,” she smiled. She stood on a table and belted it out. When the song finished, she bowed. “Alex you better catch me” she turned around raised her hands in the air and fell backward. She landed and opened her eyes, it was Lucas. She bit her lip and grinned. She stood up and grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. He met her kiss and when they finished she opened her eyes. “Happy Birthday, baby.” “It is now” she smiled. “Doesn’t look like you were doing that bad Tessa,” he looked down.
“It was fine, but now it’s perfect” she kissed him again. “Walk with me?” “I brought some friends, baby.” Jose, Miles, and Jenny stood behind them. They all said Happy Birthday and the music started. “Links can I dance with your girl?” Jose asked. “Sure,” Lucas said. “Go have fun.” “Tessa you can sing girl,” Jose smiled. “Thanks,” she said looking for Lucas. He was introducing Miles and Jenny to Jade and Ryan. When the second song finished, Jose gave her a hug, “Thanks, girl.” “No thank you, my guy doesn’t like to dance,” she smiled as they walked towards the others. Jade and Ryan were leaving, she thanked them and looked at Lucas and grinned. Ryan laughed, “Have fun tonight.” Lucas shook his head, “Always.” “Are you staying?” He shook his head yes. “All night?” He hugged her, “Yes baby, but I’m tired.” She pulled away and stomped her foot. “It’s my birthday,” he laughed. “Go take a nap until everyone leaves then,” she said scowling. “You’ll be well- taken care of,” he smiled. Tessa went and got out some food for the late arrivals; they sat around the bonfire and talked. Jenny was quiet, she must’ve been tired. Jose however was a riot. He and Miles both bought into Ben’s nonsense about the bear that lived in the woods near the camp, until Tessa laughed. “You screwing with us man?” Jose asked. “Yeah, a little,” Ben admitted. They talked about the game and Miles told them how well Lucas had done. Phoebe told them that so far their field hockey team was undefeated and next week they played Tessa’s favorite team. “On Tuesday?” Lucas asked. “Yep,” Phoebe answered. Tessa looked at her and shook her head no. “Alex, are you going to be there?” Lucas asked. “I have practice.” “Our practice gets over at four; I should be able to make it.” “It is not necessary,” Tessa said. “I’m sure I can handle it besides you might be a distraction, your harem might get nastier.” “You a fighter Tessa?” Jose asked. “Only when provoked” she laughed. “Ex- girlfriend Links?” he asked. “Three and they don’t like me very much” Tessa laughed. “Damn Links, all on the same team?” Jose laughed. “All at the same time,” Tessa laughed. Lucas gave her a dirty look and shook his head. “No shit,” Jose said, “Links — you’re Badass.” “No, not anymore,” Lucas looked at Tessa. She smiled and whispered, “I’m sorry, I guess.” Lucas closed his eyes Miles laughed, and Jenny raised her eyebrow and looked down. “I want to watch a girl fight,” Jose said.
“I’m not playing. I’m the assistant coach: my sister is on the team,” Tessa smiled. The three left soon after. Tessa’s friends slowly left. Alex, Phoebe, Ben, Lucas and Tessa were all that was left. Ben hugged Tessa, “Goodnight, Birthday girl.” “I’d love to see you play sometime man,” he patted Lucas on the shoulder. “We have a home game this weekend — you should come.” “Cool I will,” Ben smiled. Alex went to give Phoebe a ride home and Tessa and Lucas waved as they pulled out. “Are you mad at me?” “No, it was just you know,” he started. “Embarrassing?” “A little bit, I’m not the same person anymore Tessa.” “I know.” “Don't worry about it baby.” “Baby, huh?” she said, “I’m a woman, nineteen years old.” “I know, are you ready to put that ring, on the other hand?” Her eyes widened, “Can we wait until December?” “I thought you would say that.” He pulled a box out of his pocket. “So I got you this.” It was a box from Tiffany with a tennis bracelet in it. “Lucas it's beautiful,” looked at him, “You seriously need to stop spending so much money.” He smiled and kissed her neck. She grinned, and he looked up at her. “Tessa, can I have a serious moment here?” She smiled and tried looking serious. “Alright I see how it is” he grabbed her and laid her on the ground and in a split second he had her bottoms off and was taking her panties off with his teeth. He sat back and looked at her in the glow of the dying bonfire. “We serious now, baby?” she shook her head. He lifted her hips to meet him, and she melted. When she was done, he started again, holy shit she thought. “I’ve missed you baby,” he stood up and slipping out of his pants. She frantically removed his shirt, damn he is so hot she thought, and he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He set her down next to the picnic table and turned her facing away from him. “Grab the table baby and hold on” he lifted her by the waist, “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he instructed, she did as he asked. Lucas slammed into her over and over again. When he felt she was tiring, he turned her around and laid her on her back and didn’t stop. She lost track of the amount of times she climaxed, but she was about to again. He finished right after she did, and he looked at her trying to catch her breath. He pulled her up and hugged her. She melted into him. “You feel taken care of, birthday girl?” he lifted her head. “I can’t move,” she whispered. “Good,” Lucas grabbed her clothes and dressed her. He picked her up and gave her a piggy back ride to the cabin. They walked into camp, and there was a fire lit and a bed made, even rose petals. She looked at him confused. “Jade helped me out,” he smiled, “You better rest, it’s going to be a long night.” He winked and
smiled a devilish grin. They lay down and snuggled. She fell asleep and woke up an hour later to him kissing her. She opened her eyes and smiled, “I love you.” “You better,” Lucas smiled as he moved over her body all night long.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE Tuesday was game day. Tessa was feeling nervous about Kendall being up against them. She wasn’t even sure they still played but had talked to Kendall about steering clear of them. Tessa braided Kendall’s hair and waited for her to change into uniform and headed out to the field. Tessa saw Jamie and Madison, great she thought. She didn’t sit next to Kendall; she didn’t need to draw attention to her. Coach V put Kendall in after half time. She was on the opposite side of the field as Tessa, matched up with Madison. The ball was passed to Kendall, she was about to make a goal and Jamie hit her in the back with her stick. “Oops, Ross is it?” Kendall smiled, “Don’t let it happen again.” Coach V looked at Tessa, “She's got this.” “If that bitch touches her again, she is going to get her ass kicked,” Tessa sneered. The ball was hit towards Kendall and Madison nailed her in the knee. Tessa started to walk towards the field. Coach V grabbed her. Kendall looked at her and smiled. “It’s all fine Tessa, she swings like a girl.” The next play Madison hit Kendall in the stomach, and that was it, Tessa tore after her and Coach V grabbed her. “How many times are you going to let that happen?” Tessa screamed at the other coach. “Fuck you, Ross,” Madison screamed. Madison was red carded. After a time out she checked on Kendall. As she walked off she saw Lucas and Jose, Jose looked shocked and then he grinned. Lucas looked pissed. “If anyone else touches you — knock their teeth in” she yelled to Kendall from the sidelines. Kendall laughed. It was the last minute of the game, and Jamie took off after Kendall and Tessa jumped up and ran. Kendall had knocked her feet out from under her. Alex and Ben had just walked in. “Go Kendall” Alex yelled. Ben grabbed Tessa as she ran by and laughed, “Kendall’s got this, Tess.” The game ended, ladies in blue four the B team two. Kendall ran over and hugged Tessa. “Couldn’t let me have any fun, huh?” Tessa laughed. She felt Kendall’s heart beating fast against her chest, and she held onto Tessa tightly. “Are you okay?” Tessa asked and hugged Kendall, she felt her eyes fill up. “My knee and back hurt a bit but hey look at the score — we won,” she said and saw Tessa’s eyes, “Hey don’t be sad.” “I'm not I’m pissed,” Tessa said. She felt a hand on her back and turned around, it was Lucas. “You okay?” he asked. “No!” she yelled, “They’re fucking crazy! They went after my sister.” “I’m sorry Tessa,” he hugged her. She pulled away and lined up to slap hands with the opposing team. Kendall followed. Coach ran out and stood by them.
“Watch yourself Tessa,” he warned. Carly was at the end of the line. Jamie and Madison didn’t get a chance, their coach made them sit. They ran in and showered. When they came out Alex, Lucas, Jose, and Ben were standing there Kendall was laughing at Tessa, who held her hand. “Well ladies, when is your next game?” Jose asked. Tessa crossed her arms and kicked stones. “Four weeks.” “Tessa come with me,” Lucas took her hand. “Are we okay?” he asked. “To be honest Lucas I’m a little more concerned with how Kendall is.” “I understand you're pissed but I know Kendall is alright.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped. “You took off after both of them like a momma bear.” “It's my fault,” she said. “Okay, keep talking Tessa I knew this was coming,” he stood back and looked down at her. “Really you get to get pissed about this Lucas?” “Tessa, please just let it all out.” She looked at him like she could not believe he was saying that to her. “Not trying to fight baby, I just know I got it coming.” “Forget it, I’m not doing this right now, go I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said and he grabbed her before she walked away. “Tessa don’t. Let’s get it out now, please baby,” he pulled her into him. She knew she wasn’t going to calm down, and he wouldn’t let up. She leaned back and closed her eyes trying to calm herself and end this spat. “You’re so faking this right now,” he whispered in her ear. She turned around and kissed him; she rubbed her hand down his back and rested her thumb in his waistband. He rubbed his hand up her side and she moved her body slightly. He gently pulled her hair back, so she was looking up at him, “Still full of shit, baby.” “What would you like me to do drop to my knees to make this all better for YOU?” she asked. He let go and stepped back and looked pissed. “You don’t get to be mad, Lucas. You’re riding with Jose, right? You’re keeping him waiting. I’ll see you tomorrow night Lucas, I get that neither of us asked for them to go after my sister, but we aren’t the victims here, I need to be with her.” “Okay Tessa,” he took her hand and walked fast to their friends, “You ready Jose?” “Sure man,” he said. “Kendall are you okay?” Lucas asked. “Yes,” she smiled. “Good, I’m sorry Kendall” he hugged her “Good game ladies, goodnight Tessa,” he kissed her head and walked away. “Alright that was nice,” Ben said, “Anyone up for pizza, my treat?” They all went and had pizza, Ben sat across from Tessa. “You okay Tess?” “No, that crap today was because of me,” Tessa said quietly. “I don't think it was you girl. You did good tiger; remind me not to mess with you Ross’s. You just have bad luck or choose guys with crazy girlfriends or ex- girlfriends” he laughed referring to Lauren, “How’s that toe anyway?” She laughed, “So you’re sticking up for Lucas?” “Now would I do that? Just telling how it is, I didn’t expect Lauren to pull that nonsense. I’m sure
Lucas didn’t expect them to do that again.” “After New Year’s Eve Ben, what did he expect?” she asked defensively. “He expected at that point that you hate him, right? He was trying to push you away. You’re all in now, think about it,” he sat back and winked at her. “Kendall you’re okay right?” he smiled. “Fine thank you,” she blushed. “See, not the same as what happened to you. I think we all should hit the hot tub,” he grinned at Tessa. They pulled into the farm and got out, Phoebe, Alex, and Ben all got changed. Tessa and Kendall were doing the same. Her phone chimed it was him - I’m back… LL - Okay, see you tomorrow… LT - You sure?... LL - Yes, goodnight… LT Kendall had no bruises she was alright. Tessa was upset but knew there was nothing she could do to change what had happened. They went down and got in. Ben laughed, and Tessa smiled. “Did you get a new suit?” Tessa had on a rash guard and shorts. “No,” she blushed. “You know you still look hot,” he whispered. She splashed him. *** Tessa pulled into the parking lot at South Campus and walked into his dorm, she ran up to the third floor and walked into the common area; she was a little early and figured she would just wait for him. She sat on the couch and Jose walked out. “Hey girl, how you feeling today, a little less pissed off,” he laughed. Jenny and Lucas got off the elevator laughing; she rubbed his back “See you later Links.” Lucas walked by and didn’t notice her. “No, not really.” “Links, your girl’s here,” he called after him down the hall. Lucas turned around and saw Tessa and walked back and pulled her up. “Hello Tessa,” he kissed her, “I see you’re still not happy.” “I’m fine Lucas,” she looked down. He walked towards his room, “You coming baby?” He put his books on his desk, and she sat on his bed. “We going to talk about yesterday?” he asked. “I don’t need to, do you?” she asked quietly. He looked at her funny. “What did you do after your game?” “Got pizza,” she glanced at him briefly. “With who?” “Everyone,” she answered.
“Oh, was Ben there?” “Yes, he drove Alex remember?” “And after pizza?” he asked sitting back. “We went back, and you texted me,” she answered and looked down. “And then what Tessa?” “And then we ALL went in the hot tub.” “That’s nice.” “You know you can get pissed, but he defended you.” “Oh really, what did he need to defend me from Tessa?” “He knew I was upset and pointed it out. I wasn’t talking shit if that’s what you’re thinking.” “I have a great idea, why don’t you go home and call Ben?” he opened the door. “Fine if that’s what you want,” she said and stomped her foot. “Not what I want Tessa, but apparently that’s what you need,” Lucas said. She walked out and walked through the common area she quickly noticed all the girls and laughed. “You leaving, girl?” Jose called from behind her. “Yep, have a good night Jose,” she ran down the stairs. He followed her as she stormed towards her car. Jose yelled from behind her, “Hey Tessa — wait up.” She stopped and was trying not to cry, “You can’t drive all pissed off.” “I'm not pissed off.” He laughed “I have seen that look on your face, just chill for a few minutes, come sit down just for a few minutes.” Tessa sat next to Jose on the bench and tried to calm herself down. He pointed out a guy picking his nose, “What do you think he is thinking?” he laughed. “Huh?” She laughed and looked towards the door, and Lucas was walking out with Jenny and two other girls. They were all laughing, and Jenny was rubbing his back. They walked past without noticing Tessa and Jose. “Links, where you going?” he yelled. Lucas didn’t look back, “My dinner date bailed, so we’re all going to grab dinner you want to come?” the girls laughed. “No man I’m going to sit here with your girl for a few more minutes.” Tessa shook her head no, but it was too late, Lucas had stopped. Jenny took her hand off his back, and he turned around. “Catch you later, Links,” they all said giggling. He turned around and walked towards them. “I got this Jose, thanks.” Jose got up and walked away. Lucas sat down and looked at the ground. “I thought you left,” he said quietly. “I see that. You can go… I’m leaving, Jose wouldn’t let me, but I certainly don’t want to stop you from doing whatever that was?” “What?” he asked defensively. “I don’t know — where is Miles?” “At tutoring,” he answered matter of fact. “Is he okay with Jenny’s hands on you?” “This coming from the “hot tub queen,” he snarled. “I was with my family Lucas, and I can assure you no one’s hands were on me. Hot tub queen? You really want to go there?” she shot back. “Tessa I’m hungry and tired. Are you going to fight with me or can we go eat?”
She looked at him, “That’s all you got Lucas? He said nothing and looked at her. “Okay then.” She stood to leave. “I’m hungry Tessa, are you going to take me to eat?” he asked again. “I’ll drop you off with your friends,” she walked towards the Jeep, and he got in. “Where to?” “I don’t care,” he sat quietly. “Well, tell me where to go.” He grabbed her face and kissed her. She slowly started to pull away. “Lucas…” she started. “Shhh,” he kissed her again, “I don’t want to fight baby. Why don’t you let me drive,” he got out and opened her door. She sat for a minute and got out. He grabbed her and kissed her again. She met his kiss and he shut the door behind her. “Come inside,” he took her hand and they walked in. The elevator door opened, and they stepped in. Lucas pinned her against the wall and kissed her, a moan escaped her mouth as his hand started up her shirt. They got off the elevator and passed Jose in the common area. Jose smiled at Tessa. They disappeared into his room. She came out to use the bathroom and fix her hair. When she returned, she saw Jenny knocking on the door and Lucas opened it in just his shorts. “Hey, hotty new quarterback, I brought you dinner,” she smiled. Tessa brushed past her, “He’s already eaten Jenny. Why not save that for YOUR boyfriend?” she slammed the door in her face. She looked at Lucas, “You want to tell me what’s going on?” “Nothing Tessa, she is just — nice to everyone. I am kind of hungry still,” he laughed. “Get dressed — I’ll take you to dinner.” They walked out, and Jenny and her friends sat on the couch. “Don’t they have a place of their own?” Tessa asked loudly. Lucas picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, “No worries baby.” They sat at dinner, and he looked much more relaxed. “Do I need to worry about this Lucas?” “No Tessa, you don’t,” he said kissing her hand. “Do I need to worry about Ben?” “You’ve never had to worry about anyone Lucas,” she said looking into his eyes. “Okay then,” he smiled. “How is Kendall?” “She’s fine,” she said softly. “How about you TT?” She nodded her head, “Perfectly fine.” “You’re wild,” he laughed as he took a bite of his asparagus. “They deserved it.” “I know.” They walked back into his dorm, and there wasn’t anyone in the common area. “Stay with me?” She smiled, “For another hour or so.” “Perfect, I love you baby.” “You better,” she laughed. *** Tessa went to practice the next day. The principal was there and scolded her for her behavior and asked that she consider having a mediator come meet with the girls involved. Tessa said she would think about it.
After practice, she and Kendall went to visit Jade. They planned a shower for the week before deer season. Jade was happy, and Tessa was happy for her. Ryan came home and kissed and hugged her. “I love you,” he said “I’m going to shower. Hey, little guy,” he said and kissed her stomach. “Jade, he loves you so much.” “I’m very blessed,” she said and rubbed her belly, “We’re so blessed.” His phone chimed it was her - hey, I am going to ride up with Jade and Ryan to watch your game. And you invited Ben, would it be alright if he rode with them also?... LT - Sure baby, I’ve missed you… LL - busy couple days, can’t wait to tell you all about it, good luck today!!!… LT Tessa, Jade, Ryan, and Ben walked into the Dome and went to the box with Landon and Audrianna. The game started, and Tessa stood at the glass and waved to Lucas and smiled. She signed I love you. He did it back. “Hey Tessa, is everything okay?” Audrianna asked looking at Ben. “Yes, Lucas invited him. He’s my friend and Lucas, and he have actually become buddies,” she said. “Okay,” Audrianna laughed. The last quarter SU was down by seven and Miles took a hard hit from a Georgetown linebacker. He lay on the ground for awhile. The coach put Lucas in. Lucas looked very serious and threw a thirty yard pass that resulted in a tie game. The crowd went crazy. Lucas looked up, and she blew him a kiss, he caught it and grabbed himself, she grinned. Landon and Audrianna laughed. Undefeated Georgetown fumbled the ball, and it was recovered by SU. Lucas looked up and she clapped and smiled. He had the ball and no one to pass to. Lucas ran it in for a thirty yard touchdown, and SU won the game. The team rushed in and grabbed Lucas, and he was in the air. Tessa, Landon, Audrianna, Jade, Ryan, Ben and Lucas’s sisters made their way down from the box and ran on the field. Tessa watched as Jenny grabbed Lucas and hugged him and grabbed his head and kissed his cheek. Audrianna looked at Tessa and Ben grabbed her arm. “Tess, she grabbed him. Nothing he could do, go get your guy,” Audrianna looked confused, she was sure this boy liked Tessa, what was he doing? Tessa took a deep breath and turned back towards Lucas, he was surrounded by fans, mainly female. Landon reached through the crowd and Lucas saw him, he hugged Lucas and patted his back, “Excellent job, son.” Lucas saw Tessa and could tell she was faking her smile; he motioned for her to come to him. She walked up and hugged him. “Good job, rockstar,” she whispered. “Tessa sorry,” he said looking at her. She smiled; “I know” he lifted her up and kissed her. She pulled back, “I love you,” and jumped up and kissed him back. They waited outside the locker room, and Jenny and her girls waited on the other side of the hall. Ben saw Tessa glaring at her. “You have more class than that whole group put together Tess, let it go,” Ben whispered in her ear. “Lucas’s girl has a hot friend,” one of them said. She looked at Ben, and he smiled, “Well they aren’t blind,” he laughed, and she smacked him. “Lucas’ girl, keep that in mind bitches,” Jade yelled. “Mrs. Brooks, you be quiet now,” Ryan stood in front of her smiling, she glared at him, “Please.”
Lucas walked out, and Jenny walked towards him. He brushed past her and walked towards Tessa. “Hey baby,” he picked her up and kissed her, “You ready to go to dinner?” “Are you?” Tessa smiled seductively at him. “Two days at home are going to be nice,” he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her head. Landon looked at the group of girls disapprovingly. “Daddy is hot too,” one said. Landon took Audrianna’s hand, and they walked out. “Lucas I have to go to the bathroom,” Tessa walked back towards the locker rooms. “Jenny, I want to talk to you,” she said, “without them.” The groupies walked away. “What is your problem?” “I don’t have one,” Jenny answered. “Why do you think it’s alright to hug and kiss on him?” she asked. “Tessa you really need to grow up, you’re not married and probably holding him back,” Jenny said. “Really Jenny, how grown up are you dating Miles and taking every opportunity to grope Lucas, how mature is that?” Tessa asked. “We’re in college Tessa — a real college, we aren’t like you and your little Community friends,” she laughed. “Back off him, Jenny,” Tessa warned. “Or what Tessa?” she smiled. “He loves me; it’s not going to happen. He has dealt with crazy bitches before so whatever your game is he’s already played it and didn’t like it. You’re no different,” Tessa warned her. “Game on, Tessa,” she smiled. Lucas walked up to Tessa and took her hand. “Game over, Jenny,” he said and walked out with Tessa. “We okay?” she asked him. “Yeah, but you need to stop confronting crazies. I don’t like seeing you get beat up,” he frowned. *** They pulled into Jade and Ryan’s house; this was the first time he had been back. He immediately noticed the landscaping improvements. “It smells like cookies in here,” Lucas laughed. “Yes Jade has been baking, a lot,” Ryan laughed. “Tessa you want to help me with my bags?” he smiled. “Sure,” grabbed one and ran up. Over the next month, Lucas played a lot more. Miles was taking it easy, he hoped to be looked at by professional leagues and the SU coaching staff understood that. Lucas normally ended the game. Tessa was keeping busy and saw him on Wednesdays and Sundays. He left one Sunday and Ben and Alex pulled in. “How’s it going Tessa?” Ben asked pulling up a chair next to her as she worked on the computer. “Good, how is school Ben?” “Great,” he smiled, “You and Lucas doing alright?” Ben asked looking up at her. “Yes,” she smacked his hat. “How about your love life?” “I am single and enjoying college Tess,” he smiled. “Do you run into Lauren?” Tessa asked. “No, I avoid that. Your guy avoiding the groupies?” Ben smiled. “I think so, he better be,” Tessa said.
“Are you happy?” “Yes, I think so.” He hugged her, “Good Tess, stay that way.” She looked at him and sat back, they looked at each other for a few minutes, and he finally smiled. “Whatcha thinking Tess?” Ben asked. “I think I would be pissed if Ben… I mean Lucas was hugging someone,” Tessa said turning red. “I think you had it right the first- time girl,” he stood up, “Besides, I’m not like that, I don’t share,” he messed up her hair. “Come out and shoot girl.” She sat and thought how pissed Lucas would be, she called him, and he didn’t answer. She hung up. Her phone chimed it was him - Sorry baby, just got back didn’t hear the phone, kind of loud in here; I will call you before bed… LL - OK, why is it loud?... LT He didn’t reply. She walked out and grabbed her bow. “And she graces us with her presence,” Ben smiled. “Ready to get your ass kicked?” Tessa smiled. “Bring it girl,” Ben laughed. He could tell she was pissed; she was hitting dead center each shot. “What’s up Tess?” She told him about the text and that she just felt he was distancing himself. “Drive up there Tess, take Phoebe with you, you deserve to know,” she looked at him like he was crazy, “Go Tess, get yourself an answer.” *** They drove up and pulled in, there were lights flashing in the windows on Lucas’s floor. “Looks like a party Tessa,” Phoebe said. They took the stairs and walked into the common area, there was a ton of people dancing, she didn’t see Lucas anywhere, and she felt relieved. She walked to his room, and the door was cracked. She peeked in and saw Jenny pinning him against the wall. “No, no naughty girl,” Lucas laughed. “They don’t need to know,” she laughed and kissed him, he pulled away and laughed. “Not going to happen, Jen.” “Fine just stand there,” she grabbed him and went down to her knees, she looked up. “Jen, get up.” “You already are,” she grabbed him and started going down; he leaned back against the wall. “God Jenny, please stop,” he grabbed her hair. He was enjoying himself. “I love my girl, Jenny,” he moaned as he thrust forward pushing his cock in her mouth further. “I love Miles, this is just for fun,” she continued. His hips continued to thrust, “You’re going to get me in trouble,” he laughed and stumbled back., “Mmm… you taste so good.” “I’m gonna come in your mouth Tessa… I mean Jenny.” Phoebe grabbed Tessa, who stood shocked. “Let’s go, Tessa.”
They walked down the stairs, and Phoebe drove. Tessa was sick. Jose walked in and interrupted, “Links — did you say hi to your girl?” Jenny stood up and smiled at him and left the room. “Jose, I’m sorry man,” Lucas said. “You owe me nothing man, but your girl stood here two minutes ago with a little blonde chick, you may owe her something,” he walked out and slammed the door. “FUCK!” Lucas grabbed his phone. She ignored his call - Tessa, please call me… LL She didn’t respond. - fine, I’m on my way to your place we need to talk… LL - I’m not home… T - I see, well I’ll be there when you get there… LL - No… T - Jose saw you here, we need to talk… LL - We have nothing to talk about ever again!.. T - Tessa don’t do this… LL - I DIDN’T… T She went home and went to bed. Ben walked in and looked at her, and she was crying. “Oh Tess, don’t cry,” he hugged her, “Not good?” “No,” she whimpered. Her phone rang again, “Don’t answer it, Ben.” “Okay Tess, okay” Ben pulled her into a hug, and she held tightly to him while she cried into is chest. “I’m so sorry, whatever happened, I’m sorry.” “He was getting a blow job from Jenny,” Tessa sobbed, and he held her tighter. “Tess you are going to be alright girl?” he held her. Her phone chimed… it was him - Tessa are you home? I need to explain. I tried to stop her, she kissed me, and I told her no, I was in my room baby, she came in, nothing I could do, please call me… LL Ben looked at Tessa with deep concern in his eyes. - I told you I’m done, and yes you told her no but it was NO NO Naughty girl, encouraging her, you didn’t fight her off very well after that. I watched her go down on you and your hands were wrapped in her hair. You told her you were going to come in her mouth! I wish you the best Lucas, always… T She hit send and started crying again, “What the hell was I thinking?” Her phone chimed it was him - Tessa I love you… please talk to me… LL - oh yes, I heard you tell Jenny you loved me, and then you let her SUCK YOUR DICK. Again I am done, and if YOU DON’T STOP TEXTING ME, I AM
CHANGING MY NUMBER!... Tessa Minutes later Alex walked into her room, “Tessa Lucas is on the phone.” “Tell him I HATE HIM” she yelled and cried. “Lucas, she’s not going to talk to you right now, sorry,” Alex said. “Yeah, I heard she hates me, sorry Alex. Thanks for trying.” “Lucas be safe man,” he said. Her phone chimed. - You don’t hate me Tessa, we love each other, and when you’re ready to talk I’ll be right here, not fucking up, take as long as you need, I love you baby,and I’m so sorry… LL
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO Tessa and Jade got ready for the Homecoming Dance. It had been two weeks since she had talked to Lucas. She changed her number the day after things had happened. SU was playing an away game, and Tessa felt pretty good about, not having to see him. She thought about Toby today, she had gone to the dance last year with him. She wasn’t going to cry, she was going to have fun. Jade and Ryan were waiting for her, she was wearing her favorite color, light blue. Tessa had her hair highlighted and had done her make up perfectly. She stared in the mirror and although she looked goo, she wondered what it was about her that wasn’t enough for him. What could she have done better? What did he see that pushed him into someone else’s arms, or fucking mouth! “Ben said he’d come if you want him to, Tessa,” Alex whispered from behind her. “No, I’m going to have fun tonight with you guys. I want him to be happy and have dragged him into enough,” she forced herself to walk away from the mirror and the dark road her insecurities were bringing her. They walked in, and Tessa saw Cassidy, “Come dance with us.” Tessa joined them and danced, laughed and had fun. She slow danced with anyone who asked, there was no one to get mad. She was free to have fun. She and Kendall cut up the place, she loved that she had time to spend time with her. Tessa was dancing with Pizza Boy when she saw Jose. She excused herself and walked out of the gym and kicked her shoes off and ran to the bathroom. As she turned the corner and ran right into Lucas. “Tessa you look beautiful,” he hugged her. She stepped back and looked away from him; she found it hard to breathe. Tessa took a deep breath and walked around him and went into the bathroom. She squatted down and took deep, slow, controlled breaths. She was in the bathroom for about twenty minutes when Jade came in, “Tessa they’re announcing King and Queen, you need to come.” “What is he doing here?” “He was king last year remember?” Jade held her hand. Tessa shook her head no. “Let’s go do this Tessa and then if you want to leave we can okay?” Tessa stood on stage holding the crowns. Lucas walked on stage, and she looked quickly away, everyone cheered. “Alright let’s do this,” Lucas yelled to the cheering masses and then turned towards Tessa. His eyes bore into her, and she wanted to cry. Tessa crowned the King and Queen and quickly left the stage. She danced with Pizza Boy, “Party at camp after?” “Sounds like a plan.” The song ended, and she grabbed Kendall. Kendall smiled, “You alright?” Tessa rolled her eyes, “Of course!” Ryan, Alex, Lucas, and Jose stood on the edge of the dance floor and talked. “A few of us are going to camp after this if you guys want to come.” “Are you sure Alex?” Lucas said. “Yeah, she hates you but would hate me if I weren't your friend. I’m not sure what happened, and I don’t want to know, just let her get through whatever this is.”
“Phoebe didn’t tell you?” Lucas asked. “Nope, Tessa is pretty closed mouth about things. Phoebe is her friend, and they are both very loyal,” Alex said. Tessa rode with Cassidy and Pizza Boy; she stopped at the house and got changed. They pulled in, and she got out. She walked up to the fire and saw Lucas there, “Perfect,” she whispered to Cassidy rolling her eyes. They stood and talked for a while and Tessa went to camp to grab some chairs. Lucas walked in. She froze. “Tessa sorry… I was coming to grab some chairs,” he said and shoved his hands in his pockets. He had changed into jeans, an SU sweatshirt and a white hat. “That’s fine Lucas, we’re going to have to deal with each other someday,” she said as if it were no big deal. “I miss you.” “No. You don’t get to.” “Tessa baby.” “Or that,” she closed her eyes, “This is not going to work. More time, that’s what you need,” she said to herself and tried to walk out. Lucas grabbed her and hugged her. Tessa started crying immediately. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back as she sobbed. He said nothing. He sat on the couch and held her. She stopped crying, and he looked down at her, she was asleep curled up in a beautiful little ball. He fell asleep wishing he could turn back time. Alex walked in and saw them and shook his head, he walked back out. “Is she okay?” Phoebe asked. “They’re asleep.” “Oh,” Phoebe frowned. “You don’t like him, do you?” “I don’t hate him, but I love her,” she looked down. He hugged her, “Should I go wake them up?” Jose walked up, “What’s going on?” “They’re both asleep,” Alex pointed at camp. “Good, that boy ain’t slept in two weeks,” Jose said. “I never saw anything like it man. He goes to class, goes to practice, he may close his eyes for twenty, thirty minutes tops. It’s crazy.” “Good,” Phoebe sneered. “You were with her that night, right?” he asked. “Why didn’t you girls go in and kick her ass?” “Why hers?” Phoebe gaffed. “I walked in right after you all did, and it wasn’t him. He’s been telling her to back off since day one. He loves Tessa, thinks the sun revolves around that girl.” “Easy for you to say you’re a man, she isn’t like that. He was her first, and she thought her always. He’s hurt her over and over,” Phoebe said, “Do you know how that makes her feel?” she shoved Jose. “She would have waited until she was married Jose, she’s not like the whores you assholes play with,” she shoved him again. “Phoebe, that’s enough” Alex pulled her back. “Alex, it’s cool, I know she loves her. I’m with you all. I’m waiting too, Southern Baptist born and raised. If I thought, he didn’t love her I would kick his ass. Your girl Tessa is cool.” Tessa heard everything that was said and realized as comfortable as she was she could not put herself through this again. She quietly looked at the clock; she had slept for two hours. She wanted to stay so that he could sleep but knew if she did, if she so much as kissed that boy again it would be over. She stood up, and he jumped.
“Baby, don’t go, please don’t go,” his eyes were glassy. “Lucas,” she said quietly, “I have something in the Jeep for you, wait here, please.” She got up and walked outside past everyone. Lucas couldn’t sit still; he walked out and stood by the pond. She took a deep breath and handed him a manila envelope. He opened it, inside was the ring, the bracelet, the earrings and the necklace he had given her at the end of hockey season last year. “I don’t want this Tessa, those are yours. Don’t do this to me, I promise you I’ll be better.” He sealed the envelope and tried to hand it back to her, and she stepped back. “Lucas, we’re not going to ever — work. I deserve better than this. I shouldn’t have to worry about what or who you may be doing,” she said quietly looking down. “I won’t accept that,” he tried to give it to her again and she refused. He took her hand and held the envelope in it. “Please Lucas, don’t.” “No Tessa, NO!” he yelled and she jumped. “Look at me Tessa, I LOVE YOU, after a year I LOVE you even more, every day! I never stopped and I never will.” She looked down, “WHY! Why didn’t you come in my room that night, huh?” Tears started falling down his face “WHY! If it were one of your friends — you would’ve stopped them, but you just couldn’t wait for me to fuck up!” She didn’t answer; he grabbed her and shook her, “Answer me Tessa.” Tessa started to shake as she tried to stifle her emotions. “I was asleep; you and I had been at it for three days, three perfect days. I certainly didn’t need that, are you listening to me Tessa!” he asked and grabbed his hair, “FUCK!” She took a deep breath, “You don’t get it Lucas I saw your face! I saw you enjoying it, I saw you grabbing her hair LUCAS!” she yelled and pulled his hand out of her hair, “You expected me to stop you? Seriously! I’m not stupid, stop talking to me like I am!” “Fine Tessa you don’t want this FINE,” he waded up the envelope and threw it in the pond, “I don’t fucking want it either! Jose, would you please get me the fuck out of here,” Lucas screamed. He grabbed her, “I’m sorry, I FUCKED up. This isn’t over! I’m not going to just stop loving you! When you can forgive me, call me because I can’t even talk to you, you changed your FUCKING number! I’m losing it Tessa… I hope you enjoy the show,” he walked away. Jose walked by, “Tessa you okay?” he asked as tears started flowing down her cheek. “I got him, okay?” she shook her head yes, and Jose hugged her. Jose got in the car, and Lucas sat in the passenger seat with his head buried in his hands. Tessa knew he was crying, and it tore her apart. The pain she felt now would someday heal. Enough was enough. They pulled up the driveway and out of sight. Tessa fell to her knees and sobbed.
SONGS THAT INSPIRE New Love Playlist Fade Into You by Mazzy Star Wonderwall by Oasis Everlong by the Foo Fighters Zombie by the Cranberries Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots It’s your love by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw I Touch Myself Thank You by Led Zeppelin Close My Eyes Forever Lita Ford and Ozzie Osbourne Eternal Flame the Bangles Shimmer by Fuel Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John Daniel by Elton John Crocodile Rock by Elton John Whatever by Godsmack Jane Says by Jane’s Addiction It’s All Been Done by Bare- naked Ladies One Week by Bare- naked Ladies
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR I am very grateful to all who have taken the time to read Tessa and Lucas’s story. My hope is always to try to be better, a better mom, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, niece, and partner. And to do so with grace, dignity, and the knowledge that each step in my journey will lead me to who I am to become without anger or resentments, always forgiving, knowing I too need forgiveness. To have loved and to have been loved is the greatest gift. A gift that should be re- gifted when the heart and soul heal. You never know what is just around the corner.. Again I want to thank all those whose support has helped me through life and love. Laura, Karen, Stephanie, Suzanne, Tiffany, Taylor, Emily, Erica, Faye, and Mary. Your feedback was truly appreciated. I Love you all…Anyway. My promise to you is that you will be happy with Tessa’s choice and even continue to love Lucas… Anyway.
DEDICATION To all who fell as deeply in love with Lucas and Tessa’s story as I have. Thank you for wanting to learn more about them. To all who have given me constructive criticism, To my family and friends, To those who love, love. I love you all…anyways.
SAD LOVE Book 3
CHAPTER ONE Tessa stood back and admired their work, the place looked beautiful. Tan and blue decorations hung from the ceilings, and there were balloons everywhere. Phoebe and Cassidy were putting even more balloons on the mailbox. Everyone would be arriving at Jade’s shower in less than an hour. She walked upstairs and took a deep breath. She opened the door to Lucas’s room and could smell him. She froze momentarily, letting his scent waft through her. She closely looked at the dresser that had held photos from Lucas’ previous proms that were now gone, replaced by one photo of him and her. Tessa dreaded seeing him again, but still the thought of never seeing him again was worse. She took a deep breath, walked into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. As she stood naked under the hot water pouring down on her, she thought of the many times she and Lucas had shared this very shower. Tessa thought of his hands caressing her and hers caressing him. She knew it was still too soon to be face to face with the boy who once professed to love her, the boy that she without a doubt loved. She got out and toweled off her hair. She walked out into his room wrapped in a towel and sat on the bed. She looked down at the place she and Lucas first had sex. She sat on the bed and fought the desire to curl up and fall asleep in its warmth. She had not slept decently in weeks and now was not the time. Shake it off Tessa stay busy — you’ll be fine, she thought to herself. She stood and dropped the towel and walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She threw on her panties and bra, walked out to grab her dress and jumped when she saw Lucas standing in his closet pulling on his boxer briefs. “Oh, I…I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d be here yet,” she grabbed a towel. Lucas slowly closed his eyes and let out a deep breath and walked in his closet. She grabbed the pale green halter dress and pulled it up to cover her. He walked out of the closet with his pants on. “Tessa, you look amazing,” he whispered as he walked over to zip her dress the rest of the way up. As soon as his finger touched her skin, millions of tiny little Goosebumps appeared and she arched her back. She cleared her throat, “Thanks,” and stepped away from him. She grabbed her belongings and started to walk out of his room. He lightly touched her arm, “You can get ready in here. I’ll leave.” Lucas grabbed his shirt and walked out. Okay, she thought get it together you can do this, see? It’s fine. She dried her hair, applied makeup and left his room looking back reflectively before shutting the door to her first love’s room. When she walked down the stairs, she saw Molly. “Are we telling anyone yet?” Molly smiled and rubbed a hand over her belly, “Not today, tomorrow.” “Good because if I dare say so myself — I know how to put a shower together,” Tessa laughed and hugged her sister. Tessa and Molly walked outside into the back yard. Tessa watched as Landon, Audrianna, and the girls walk in through the gate. Ally and Alexandra ran up to her and hugged her. Tessa smiled and hugged them back, “Princesses you have both grown.” “Where’s Lucas?” they asked in unison. “I’m not sure, but I know he’s here somewhere,” Tessa stood and smiled. “Help us find him,” Ally said jumping in her arms.
Alexandra grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the house. They walked in and Lucas stood in the kitchen smiling, “Three beautiful Princesses.” Ally jumped down and ran into his arms. “Tessa group hug,” Alexandra smiled. Tessa took a deep breath and walked towards them, “Sounds fun.” “Thank you,” Lucas whispered in her ear. “Alright, I have to excuse myself,” Tessa curtseyed before making her escape. Tessa brought food outside and handed a package of hamburgers to Jack and John, who manned the grill. She hugged herself literally holding herself together. Audrianna smiled as she walked towards Tessa, “Can I steal you away for a minute?” Tessa followed her into the house and to the empty living room, and they sat down. “Tessa, how are you?” “Fine thank you. How are you?” Tessa asked politely. “I’m good. Tessa I know what happened with you and Lucas, and I’m sorry.” “Well... me too,” she felt her eyes heat up but smiled. “Is there a way to get past this? He loves you,” Audrianna asked. “Well, I love him very much too, but I just can’t keep getting hurt.” Tessa words were more self- talk than an answer. An affirmation she had repeated to herself several times in the past few weeks. Landon walked in the room, “He screwed up Tessa, and he’s nineteen. He’s skipping classes and not playing all that well, my son is a mess.” “With all due respect Landon, I’m nineteen and not his parent,” Tessa stood and started to walk out. “Tessa, please sit. Landon — enough,” Audrianna said firmly. “Audrianna — he loves this girl and has proved that by the way he has changed this past year. Now he’s slipping and screwing up the biggest chance he’s ever had. I don’t feel like it’s too much to ask,” Landon said. “She has stuck by him through much worse. If she loves him, this should be a non- issue. He gets through this, and she won’t have a thing to worry about, ever.” “Landon,” Audrianna scolded. “I wasn’t raised that way. Nice seeing you both,” Tessa walked out the door. Lucas walked in the house and smiled at Tessa, tears fell down her face, and she turned and ran upstairs. Needing to be alone, she opened the door to the room she had just said goodbye to; the one she would now seek comfort in. Tessa buried her face in his pillows and cried. She couldn’t believe his father. She thought to herself: how could Lucas ever even have a chance with someone like him as a role model? Landon was an ass. “Tessa, are you okay?” Lucas asked from the doorway. She shook her head no. “What’s wrong baby?” she felt him sit next to her. “I’m fine,” she sat up putting her head in a pillow. He sat behind her and hugged her. “Please don’t touch me, Lucas,” she said quietly. “Why not?” “Because you can’t.” “I’m sorry,” he whispered. She leaned into him, taking comfort in his embrace, and he breathed out deeply. He didn’t move, and she didn’t either. “What are you two doing?” Jade asked smirking as she walked in the room. Tessa sat up and got off the bed.
“Sorry — is it time for gifts?” Tessa asked trying to smile. “Sure,” Jade and Tessa started walking towards the door. Tessa turned around, and Lucas still sat on the bed looking lost. “Come on Lucas,” Jade grabbed his hand and pulled him up. They walked outside, and Audrianna looked at her apologetically. Once Lucas was no longer behind Tessa, she approached her. “I didn’t tell Lucas anything, you can tell Landon I think he’s a jackass, and I do care for his son. Maybe he could get over himself long enough to realize that it’s not my job to parent him,” Tessa whispered. “That's not what I was trying to do,” she said. “I know, but HE was.” Lucas watched her as Jade opened gifts; he watched Tessa laugh and smile being her perfect helpful, happy self. He didn’t mean to hurt her, it wasn’t his fault. Almost everyone had left the party and clean up was commencing. Lucas and Ryan carried all the larger items up the stairs to the nursery. Tessa stood at the sink doing dishes, singing softly to the music playing on the radio. “There’s a dishwasher Tessa,” he said from behind her and reached around opening it. “And it’s full. Wash your hands and put these away?” Lucas did as he was asked, gladly. Jade brought in bottles and the new sterilizer. Tessa showed her how it worked and how the bottles went together. Jade was the youngest of three, her two brothers, twins had died in a car accident four years ago. Tessa had two younger siblings and always enjoyed watching her mother care for them and grew up helping her. “So only the parts that touch his mouth need to be sterilized, like the nipple and nipple ring” Tessa explained. Lucas dropped a plate, and it broke. “Sorry,” he said uncomfortable shaking his head. Jade laughed. Tessa looked at her confused but kept talking. “So I wouldn’t open the packages yet because you’re breastfeeding,” Tessa explained. Lucas mumbled under his breath. “Everything okay Lucas?” Jade asked giggling. He shook his head yes and wiped the floor with a wet paper towel to get all the little pieces he may have missed. He started to unload the glasses from the dishwasher. “So what are these?” Jade asked. “Well, there are different sizes for the different stages. Stage one is when he is brand new, when he learns to suck and is able to consume more he can move up to the next size nipple,” she explained. Lucas dropped a glass. Jade laughed as he cleaned up the mess again. “You guys need to buy plastic,” Lucas said as he finished cleaning up his mess and quickly left the room. Jade laughed. “What’s so funny?” Tessa asked. “He’s a bit frustrated, every time you talked about nipples, he lost control,” Jade said laughing so hard tears came to her eyes. Tessa laughed too. Lucas and Ryan were putting the crib together upstairs, a gift from Jack, Jade’s father. Tessa finished up with the dishes allowing a few to soak as Jade walked in with a basket of clothes. She and Tessa washed them in baby laundry soap, it smelled amazing. When they finished, they went upstairs to help.
They laughed as the boys tried to put it together and follow directions. “Jade can you grab us a beer?” Ryan asked. “Are you twenty- one lover?” “Today I am,” he winked at Jade. Jade returned with drinks, “Here Tessa, you want some?” “Oh no, I couldn’t I’m driving,” she said. “You can stay here and help me wash nipples,” Jade laughed. “What?” Ryan smiled. “Nothing,” Lucas shot jade a dirty look. Lucas didn’t drink, and either did Tessa. She and Jade hung the little clothes in the closet, and the boys stood back and looked at the crib. “Look at all these clothes,” Tessa smiled, “and the little diapers.” Tessa rubbed Jades belly. “All for you little guy,” she said and jumped. “He kicked.” “No way!” Ryan said, “He only does that for me!” “Not anymore,” Tessa laughed, “You know Aunt Tessa is going to love you forever, huh buddy.” Tessa was talking to Jades belly, he kicked again, and Jade and Tessa smiled and laughed. “About two more weeks and we get to finally meet you,” Tessa smiled. Ryan kissed Jade and smiled, “What do you think of the crib Mrs. Brooks?” “It’s perfect.” Jade kissed him, and Tessa smiled. “I will leave you two alone for awhile,” Tessa walked down the stairs, and Lucas went down to finish the dishes. “I’ll wash, you dry?” she asked. Tessa picked up a big pot to set in it the sink; it slipped out of her hand and soaked them both. Lucas laughed, “Was that on purpose?” “No, damn it — I don’t have anything else to wear. Alex took my clothes from earlier, home,” she said laughing. He grabbed her hand and she pulled away gently. Lucas smiled, “Sorry — I have something you can wear.” They walked in his room, and she stood at the door as he walked in his closet. “You left these in my closet a couple weeks ago,” he threw her underwear and a bra. He brought out an SU tee and sweats. “Here, you can change in the bathroom.” “Okay, but I’ll get these back to you.” “Tessa what am I going to do with a bag full of underwear?” he laughed as he took off his drenched shirt. “I don’t know,” she said and stared at him. He dropped his pants and grabbed his pajama pants. He noticed she was still standing there, and he looked at her confused. “Everything alright?” he swallowed hard. She shook her head no. “Tessa,” his voice deepened. She shook her head no again. “Do you need help?” he stepped cautiously towards her. She looked in his eyes and shook her head no slowly. “You’re sure?” he asked walking closer. She looked at his lips and swallowed hard and finally turned and walked in the bathroom and
changed. She walked out of the bathroom, and he was sitting on the bed. “Tessa can we talk?” “No,” tears trickled down her face. He hugged her, and she took a deep breath and pulled away. She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Breathe and stop kidding yourself. She washed her face and walked back out. He stepped towards her and hugged her, “I haven’t looked at you in three weeks Tessa, you look amazing.” She melted into his embrace; she had missed him so much but had been strong and kept busy, forcing quiet times to the bare minimum. She didn’t allow herself to hurt — she had just pushed forward, and now she stood with his arms wrapped around her as her head rested on his shoulder. “I love you, Tessa Ross,” he kissed her cheek. She felt her eyes burning and pulled back, and she whispered, “Lucas.” He kissed her, and she whimpered against his lips. Tears fell from her face, and he ran his tongue across them. God Tessa, walk away, she tried to tell herself, just walk away. She breathed, and his tongue entered her mouth. She stood very still knowing if she gave in she would not ever be able to stop. Jose’s words echoed in her ears. Damn it, she thought. She pulled away abruptly. “This can’t happen Lucas.” “Okay,” he stepped back a little without letting go of her. “I’ve missed you baby, I’m so sorry. I love you.” “Don’t,” she whispered. And he kissed her again; she kissed him back and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. “Lucas,” she moaned. He lifted her up and laid her on the bed. “Oh God Lucas, I can’t go through this again.” “I’ll never hurt you again, baby,” his promise through a cascade of kisses was all she needed. Lucas pulled her shirt up and unclasped her bra. He caressed her breasts and leaned down and took one gently into his mouth. She moaned and grabbed his hair and pulled it lightly. He spread her legs with his knees and laid between them she felt him against her. She arched her back and gasped. He lay beside her and reached down her front and under the sweats and underwear. His fingers circled her, and she gasped. Lucas entered her slowly, and her hips moved towards him. He kissed her and her head was spinning while his hand continued to pleasure her. He took her breast in his mouth and pulled her nipple lightly with his teeth. “Oh God,” she moaned and her whole body burst into flames of desire. He moved down her body and pulled off the sweats and underwear and kissed her from hip to hip. He ran his tongue slowly down her center and took his time slowing teasing her and bringing her to climax. “I love you Tessa,” he whispered against her ear sending shivers down her spine. He adjusted himself before pushing deep inside her over and over again. “We have to stop… I’m not on the pill anymore,” she moaned. He sat up and grabbed a condom and tore it open with his teeth and kissed her. He pulled her gently on top of him and guided her up and down on him until finally they both finished together. Lucas smiled as he rubbed his finger across her cheek as he kissed her, “I promise baby, I will never let us fail again.” Tessa didn’t respond she lay in his arms not moving and barely breathing. “What have I done?” she pulled away from him and started to cry as she ran into the bathroom. He walked in and turned her towards him, “I’ll never hurt you again Tessa, and I love you. I can’t be without you do you… understand? I felt like I was going to die without you. I love you I’ll never hurt you
again.” Lucas repeated his promise and hugged her, his eyes were red and he trembled. He turned on the shower, and they both got in. He lifted her onto him and kissed her as she continued to cry. She closed her eyes, trying to understand why she had just let this happen — again. Only one of the million answers held true. She was without a doubt in love with Lucas Links and knew, good or bad she would love him forever. She wrapped her arms around him, “Please don’t.” He pulled her back and looked at her, tears rolled down his face, “I won’t baby.” She cried, “I love you Lucas.” “I won’t ever give you a reason to stop,” he promised. *** They dressed and walked down the stairs. Jade looked at them and shook her head smiling. “All better?” She asked. Tessa blushed and looked away, “Yes, Jade.” “Are you staying, Tessa?” Jade smiled. She looked at Lucas, and he closed his eyes. “Please,” he whispered. “Yes,” she sat on the couch. He sat next to her and was obviously uncomfortable. She crossed her arms in front of her and looked at the TV. Jade and Ryan went to bed. “Do you want to talk Tessa?” He asked. “No,” she said quietly. “Okay, but I think we should,” he said as he caressed her hand. She said nothing and sat feeling anesthetized. “Are you having second thoughts?” he asked. She shook her head yes. He sat back and put his hands on his head and breathed out deeply. “We are both so young Lucas,” she whispered. “But we love each other,” he sat up and looking intently into her eyes. “How has that worked out for us so far?” she asked quietly. “Tessa, I can take you home,” he stood up, clearly agitated. “I have the Jeep,” she stood up as well. “Why can’t you talk to me?” he grabbed her hands. “Lucas, I’m scared. I feel like an idiot for letting this happen, wanting this to happen. I don’t know I just feel… numb,” she pulled her hand away and walked towards the door. He followed her. “Stay with me tonight, please.” She looked up into his panicky eyes. “Any questions you have I’ll do my best to explain, Tessa. We haven’t talked in weeks, I owe you answers. If you love me, you owe us a chance,” Lucas closed his eyes waiting for her answer. She walked upstairs and sat on his bed. “How many times did that happen before that night?” she asked dreading his answer. “That was it” he answered softly. “How many times did she come on to you?” she asked. “Every day” he answered quietly. “How many times did she kiss you?” she asked louder. “She tried all the time, but I stopped it,” he answered. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said. “Tessa, I told her several times to stay away, you know that.” “Then what happened that night?” she asked.
“Columbus day weekend, you and I pretty much stayed here the whole time, I went back there exhausted, they were having a party I had a few drinks and went to bed. She woke me up, I told her no, I was half asleep, and she went down and well I didn’t react the way I should have. I didn’t love you any less because of it, and I screwed up.” he said looking down. “I will never suck you off again.” She looked at him with fire in her eyes. “Okay, I don’t care — I just want you back Tessa.” “Has it happened since?” “No, not that. She has come in my room, and I have told her to leave. The last time I threatened to tell Miles if she didn’t leave. She hasn’t come in since,” Lucas answered. “Miles doesn’t know?” He shook his head no. “Well, I’m going to tell him.” “Tessa he just has a few months of football and he is being scouted by the Pro teams, he can’t fall apart. It’ll ruin his chance,” he spoke quietly as he looked down. “I forgot it was up to me to make everything better for everyone else, except for me,” she said sarcastically. “If you need to Tessa, that's fine,” he said. “She doesn’t bother me in class and she has left me alone on campus. But if you need to, and that’s what it takes for us to move on, then that’s fine.” “I’m tired” she laid down regretfully Was this enough? “Tessa, why aren’t you on the pill anymore?” “I was done,” she rolled to her side and faced away from him. “Okay,” he said and layed down and wrapped his arms around her.
CHAPTER TWO Tessa stayed at Jade and Ryan’s the next day and drove Lucas back to SU that night. “Walk in with me?” he asked. They got off the elevator and saw Jose; he ran up and hugged her. “I’ve missed you Tessa,” he picked her up and twirled her around. “I missed you to Jose” she giggled. They walked towards Lucas’s hall, and Jenny came out of the bathroom. Jenny laughed as she walked by, Tessa let go of Lucas and grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. “Listen up whore, stay away from my boyfriend, or I will have him put a restraining order on your ass. And then I’ll tell your boyfriend.” Tessa spit in her face and walked towards Lucas. He took her hand, and they walked to his room. She sat on the bed and looked down. “Do you feel better?” “No, that isn’t me,” she whispered. Except when it comes to how I am with you, she thought “I know that.” “Then why did you let me?” she asked. Why did you not stop me that night? He thought, and quickly stopped. “Tessa it was deserved and I certainly don’t want to make you mad, I just got you back,” he said biting back a smile. “You think it's funny.” He looked at her, “Truth?” She shook her head yes. And he chuckled. “It’s not funny,” she said smiling and looking down. He laughed, “Yes it is.” She laughed, and he hugged her. She looked at him and shook her head smiling. His eyes skimmed her body, “May I?” She shook her head up and down, “Yes.” He hugged her, and she kissed his neck he sat back and looked at her. He breathed deeply and touched her breast she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He stood up and removed her pants and skimmed her slit with his finger. Her breath hastened and he laid her down. He opened his mouth and covered her completely as his tongue rubbed up and down her, with each lick he pushed deeper. Her hips began to move into him and he hit her clit. Tessa cried out as he devoured her. She’d missed him and knew he missed her too. He was so damn good at pleasing her physically, and when he was on… her heart could not be filled anymore. She hated the hurt he had caused her, but right now at this moment as his tongue circled her and his fingers pushed into her she was lost in a sea of ecstasy. He walked out of the bathroom smiling and walked past the common area towards his room. Jenny glared at him, he laughed. Tessa was still lying on the bed trying to catch her breath. He lay next to her and rubbed her belly and kissed her. “You taste like S’mores baby,” he moved down. “Holy sh… Lucas,” she moaned as Lucas went down… again. ***
He walked out of the bathroom again, and Jose was sitting there. “Again man?” he laughed. “I missed my girl,” Lucas winked. Tessa was asleep when he came back in. He covered her up and lay next to her. Finally feeling whole again, he fell asleep. His room door opened, and Tess covered her head shielding her eyes from the unwelcome light. “Lucas, I need to talk to you,” Jenny’s voice whispered as she walked towards them. “Jenny get the fuck out,” he said in a sleepy voice. “No, how many times do I have to tell you I want you?” she giggled. He looked at Tessa. “I want to hear this, Lucas,” Tessa whispered. “How many times have I told you to back off! Not interested Jenny.” “You will be, I won’t take no for an answer,” she giggled again. “Did you hear my girlfriend today?” “I don’t care what she has to say. If it feels good why not do it?” Jenny giggled. He sat up, “I do care, and I’ll absolutely file that restraining order!”” “Then I’ll call her and tell her you’re full of shit,” she said. “You’ve already tried, it didn’t work,” he said. “She doesn’t trust you already. I’m here now and very willing,” Jenny purred. “Seriously what is wrong with you?” Tessa sat up. Jenny was shocked. “Lucas you need to make that call,” Tessa grabbed Lucas’s hand. “Okay,” he said. “No, you don’t,” Jenny snapped. “Jenny we have dealt with crazy before — it’s not happening again,” Tessa laughed in anger, “You need to leave and not come back.” “I won’t need to. He’ll come around. You can’t be here every day,” Jenny warned. “No, but I am moving into my apartment next month and he’ll be with me there,” Tessa snapped, “You should really get some help!” Lucas pointed towards the door. “Out.” He turned to Tessa and kissed her. “Lucas she is nuts,” she said, “You need to start locking your door.” He jumped up and locked it. She sat up and saw his naked body. Angry and confused by everything she had allowed and wanted she closed her eyes. No going back, he loves you, you love him, everything will be alright. Tessa opened her eyes. “And now you need to lie down,” she sat on his lap, and they made love. Slow deep kisses, gentle touches, thrusts given and returned. His hands and mouth loving hers. Pleasure’s arrival delivered with renewed trust, hope, and love. When they were done, Tessa reluctantly got up to leave. “Baby its two in the morning, sleep here tonight I’ll wake you up in time to get to class.” Tessa texted Alex and he replied he would cover. She laid down and fell asleep on his chest. He closed his eyes and finally really slept for the first time in over a month. *** Lucas sat up and looked at his phone and kissed her head, “Tessa it's ten o’clock. Baby, you’re late.” She smiled and grabbed him, “Are you late?”
“No, my first class was canceled Friday, but I have another at twelve thirty. I’m sorry,” he got up. Tessa looked at him. He had bulked up since high school, and the sight of his bare naked backside was a site to behold. That and the morning wood made Tessa want him badly. “I’m not, come back to bed,” she smiled. “Really?” Lucas was surprised that she was so eager and willing. Wow! “Yes please,” she giggled at his expression. *** He went to shower, and she grabbed her clothes, put them in one of his bags, and threw on a pair of his sweats and a sweatshirt. Tessa left his room and sat in the common area waiting for him. “Miss, we had a complaint about an overnight guest, did you sleep here last night?” the security guard asked. She was feeling feisty this morning, “Well I didn’t actually sleep — all that much.” “Your tone, Miss.” “You asked,” she shrugged. Jose was walking down the hall and she saw him walking towards them. “I need your name,” he said. “For what?” she asked. “I’m issuing you a ticket, you’ll have to pay a fine and could possibly be banned from campus,” he said “Hey Tessa, how are you? Ted have you met Tessa?” Jose asked “No, I haven’t had the pleasure of getting her name yet Jose, what did you say it was?” “Tessa Ross,” Jose said looking at him like he should know. He looked at her, “Oh, oh, Lucas’s friend.” “Yes and if it’s your job to write tickets for trespassing I think there is a Jenny who needs one, she seems to think she can pop her head..” Jose cut her off, “Ted are we all set here?” “Is Links going to be able to perform this Saturday his head has been up his ass for a few weeks,” Ted glared at Tessa. “Why Ted, he is actually at peak performance level. He performed very nicely last night and this morning a few times….” “Ted, you’ve met Tessa?” Lucas smiled at her as he walked out. “Yes I have she is a bit full piss and vinegar,” Ted started, “But she says you’re up to peak performance level.” “Oh, she did did she?” he laughed as she blushed. “Ted I think I may stay this night Friday night — is that alright with you?” she asked sarcastically. Lucas smiled and shook his head yes. “Well, if Links wants you here, I guess you can.” “Lucas needs a bigger bed so I can more finely tune…” Lucas kissed her to shut her up. “I think that’s all Ted,” Jose said. Tessa giggled as she pulled away. “No, I actually think I get this game. TED, Jenny needs a chain. She shouldn’t get to wander around freely, I am pretty sure she’s rabid. SO if she was the one who complained, you need to have a talk with her TED, okay?” Tessa smiled sarcastically. Lucas looked at him, “She knows everything, and should be treated like an MVP around here. Baby I’m going to be late. Can I walk you out?” “I will Links; I want to fill your girl in on what MVP means,” Jose laughed. “Text me when you get home?” he asked and kissed her. “Yes,” she smiled.
“I love you Tessa,” he said not wanting to let go. “I love you,” she pushed him away smiling. Jose gave her the low down. She was considered an MVP because her guy was an important addition to the team. It came with perks. She could be here whenever she wanted, she was able to sit in preferred seating, which he suggested, and she could bring one guest to sit with her to each game as long as it wasn’t distracting to her player. Her concessions would be provided; she had preferred parking here at the dorm and at the dome. She didn’t have to wait in line, and the gym was at her disposal after the scheduled time for the players. “So that’s why she thinks she can do anything she wants,” Tessa sat back confused. “Pretty much. Tessa I already know I can trust you, I am going to tell you something even Lucas doesn’t know, you just have to promise that your lips stay sealed girl, okay? No matter what happens?” he asked. “Of course,” Tessa said nervously. “You want to know why Jenny is treated like royalty around here?” “Because of Miles,” she answered. “Exactly, how interested do you think he seems to be in her?” “Well, he is never around her. Every time I ask he’s at tutoring. He can dance but doesn’t with her. I’m not getting it?” she scowled. “They grew up together, were best friends all through school,” he said softly. “How the hell could he stand to be around her, or kiss her or God forbid…” she started. “Use that brain of yours girl, why is she going after Lucas so hard?” “Have you looked at him?” she laughed. “No, but Miles might,” he smirked. “No way,” Tessa gasped. “SHHH, top secret I’m not even supposed to know. That’s why they don’t push Jenny too hard. They know there are idiots out there, ignorant people, you know? Miles and the coaching staff here worry about ticket sales and his chances at Pro,” He smiled. “Lips sealed, right girl?” “Yes Jose — but she is crazy what if she ruins it for him?” “I got Lucas’ back here. I promise Tessa — just steer clear, alright girl?” He warned. “I pinned her against the wall and spit in her face last night.” Tessa covered her face embarrassed. “You sure you ain’t from the hood girl?” he laughed. “No, the farm Jose,” she laughed. “Hey, are you going home for Thanksgiving?” “No, we have a game Saturday at home, not enough time,” he said, “I’m just going to chill.” “No, you’re not; you’re coming to my house.” “You sure your folks can handle my black ass coming to the farm?” he laughed. “Jose, seriously my parents aren’t ignorant,” she laughed. “You have to come… please?” She begged. “Alright I’m in” she hugged him as they walked towards the elevator.
CHAPTER THREE Lucas’s phone chimed it was an unknown number, he smiled - Wow, you don’t even have my number — what a hoe!! I’m home and safe. Oh, BTW I invited Jose to Thanksgiving dinner here… LT - You are not, BTW who is this… LL - Hmm, not funny… LT - Sorry, Tessa I was joking, don’t be mad… LL - I was attempting to be funny… LT - I know, let’s not be touchy with each other, it’s very awkward. Almost as weird as your girlfriend inviting your friend to dinner and not you!... LL - I like being touchy with you Lucas. Will you come?... LT - Anytime baby… LL - BAD!!!!... LT - Read what you wrote last, you’re bad… LL - Okay, I’m going into school TTYL… LT - You only have an hour left… LL - But maybe my parents won’t find out… LT - good, did you ever ask about Mexico?... LL - TTY… LT Tessa was tired after school, she went home and slept. She woke to his call. “You were sleeping Tessa?” “Yeah sorry,” she sat up on her bed and got up to walk downstairs. “No, it was a busy weekend. So what’s our schedule like now?” “I’m not feeling all that well, can we talk later Lucas?” “Oh ok,” he said. “Call me when you can.” She slept all night and woke up and called Lucas. “Good morning,” she said confused. “Hi,” he said quietly, “Are you alright?” “Yes just feeling off, I must have the flu. You sound upset are you okay?” “Just worried you were blowing me off.” She laughed, “I told you I wasn’t doing that again.” “That’s going to suck.” She laughed, “No it won’t — oh no.” Lucas heard her throw up. “Baby you alright?”
“Told you I didn’t feel well, okay?” “I’ll have Jose bring me over.” “No, Lucas, I don’t want you getting sick. I’m just going to sleep anyway, okay?” “Tessa it’s not a big deal I was already around you, and in you, and down…” he started. She threw up again. “Oh baby, did I make you sick?” “Of course not,” she laughed softly. “I’ll call you later, alright?” *** Tessa slept until morning and woke up and threw up again. She showered and felt a little better. She couldn’t miss another day so close to semester's end. She went to school and came home and went straight to bed. Her mother came over Lucas had texted her that Tessa wasn’t feeling well, she brought soup, crackers, and Gatorade. “What’s going on with you and Dad?” she asked. “We’ve talked a lot lately,” Maggie smiled. “Is that it?” she grinned. “Tessa Ross! Well, what’s going on with you and Lucas?” Maggie asked. “We talk a lot,” she smiled. “By the way, he wants to take me to Mexico in December, for two weeks. How do you feel about that?” “Well, I don’t think I like it, but if you’re going to do it that’s your decision. You’re nineteen now,” Maggie frowned, “and moving out in January, please just remember who you are Tessa.” *** The next day she was sick again but only once. She made a doctor’s appointment for after school. She was going to get birth control pills and hopefully something for her stomach. The doctor came in and asked when her last period was, and she said it would be starting soon. She left with three packs of pills and nothing for her belly. She could start the pill after her next period. Tessa took a picture of the packages of pills and sent a text to Lucas, - hopefully the belly bug is gone, and I am going back on the pill… LT - Tessa when does your situation ‘arise’?... LL - Any day, sorry…Hey, I also asked my Mom about Mexico,she said she couldn’t stop me… LT - Nice! You just made my day… LL - When can I see you again?... LT - Isn’t that my line?... LL - Just answer the question ‘baby,'… LT - Anytime Tessa… LL She didn’t respond right away she wasn’t sure how to. The majority of the time, it was him pushing her to spend time together now after everything she hated being away for him, even for a day. - Tessa, I’m pretty busy, but never too busy for you, when can you come?... LL
- Oh sorry, had a call, maybe tomorrow have a good night… LT Her phone rang, and it was him. “Baby, you are so full of shit,” he laughed. “What do you mean?” “You’re mad, oh and who called?” “Shut up Lucas,” she said quietly. “Can you come up tomorrow at four, please?” “Maybe I'm busy,” she said matter of fact. “Maybe?” “Fine,” she said quietly. “I wish I could see you right now,” he laughed. “Okay, I’ll send you a picture.” She took a picture of her middle finger. His phone chimed he opened it, and she heard Jose laugh. “Nice baby,” he chuckled. “I thought you’d like that,” she laughed. “See you tomorrow?” “I will check my schedule. Talk to you later.” “I love you,” he said. “You better,” she said and hung up. - Sorry, Thursday doesn’t work for me, I’ll see you Saturday at the game… LT - Tessa, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, I love you…. LL - no, I am going to Jade’s appointment with her, not mad, see I am busy, refer to previous text for appropriate hand gesture… LT - Alright what’s wrong with Friday then? …LL - Stop being so needy, we just started going out and already so pushy… LT - Cute baby… LL - Yes, I am, I’d send you another picture. However, I don’t think you could share it with your friends… LT - I have an entire photo book full remember?.. LL - Goodnight…LT - Sweet dreams, I love you… LL - Ditto… LT *** Jade lay on the table with Tessa sitting by her head “How are you feeling Jade?” the Doctor asked when she walked in. “A little crampy, but I’ve been pretty active,” she winked at Tessa. Tessa smirked. The doctor put the stirrups up on the Vagatron. “Just a little crampy?” She laughed.
“Yep,” Jade said. “Okay good. You are four centimeters dilated, we are going to have you go over to the hospital Jade, my guess is you are going to have this baby today,” she smiled. “Are you serious?” she asked. Tessa clapped and smiled. “I am, can you take her?” she asked Tessa. “Of course,” Tessa giggled. Jade stood up to get dressed, and her water broke, “Oops.” The doctor laughed, “Better here than in a car.” Jade called Ryan; he was meeting them at the hospital. Tessa sent Lucas a text - Baby day!!!! On our way to the hospital… LT - I’ll be there as soon as I can, baby… LL
CHAPTER FOUR Jade lay in the bed, and Maggie came in with her clipboard. “How are you doing, honey?” She asked “Good, scared, excited,” she laughed. Maggie smiled and hooked up a monitor and put an IV in Jade’s hand. Tessa watched Maggie work and then noticed tears forming in Jade’s eyes. Jade stared straight ahead and began to cry “Tessa, you can’t leave okay? You have to be in here. I am so scared; I can’t do this without you. Tessa I love Ryan, but I really wish Tommy was here,” she cried, and Tessa lay with her and cried too. Ryan walked in, “Everything alright, Jade?” “I need Tessa to stay,” Jade wiped her eyes. “Okay Jade,” Ryan smiled as he reached for her hand. “I think you should leave,” Jade pulled her hand back. “Oh,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “Alright then.” Ryan let out a deep breath and turned and walked out of the room. “Jade don’t do that to him,” Tessa hugged her tighter. “I don’t want him to see me lose it over Tommy, Tessa… and I’m going to. I don’t want to hurt him.” “Than you need to tell him that. You just totally crushed him.” “You tell him,” Jade cried. Tessa walked out, and Ryan was in the waiting room. “Hey bud,” she said. “She’s scared. She’s very sad, and she doesn’t want you to see her upset because she wishes Tommy was here.” “Okay, I’ll set out here,” she saw hurt in his eyes. “Ryan, she loves you.” “Yeah,” he forced a smile and shook his head. Tessa hugged him, and he let out a breath he had been holding in. “She doesn’t want to hurt you Ryan, she’s scared,” Tessa tried to explain. “I get it,” he said, “What I don’t get is why she can’t tell me that.” Tessa heard Jade yell in pain and looked at Ryan. “That’s why; you have been amazing, she loves you, suck it up and let’s go!” They walked in the room, and he pulled his hat out of his pocket and shoved it down covering his eyes. “Tessa it hurts,” Jade yelled. “Okay, what can I do?” “I don’t know,” Jade cried. Ryan’s foot tapped anxiously on the floor his head in his hands. “He hates me Tessa,” Jade cried nodding to Ryan. “No, he doesn’t,” Tessa said as she looked at Ryan. “I don’t hate you Jade, I just don’t want to make things harder for you right now,” Ryan sat quietly. She yelled out again. “I’m sorry,” Jade finally breathed, “I’m so sorry and take that fucking hat off, I can’t see your face and white hats on you are very — TAKE. IT.OFF!” “Jade you need to breathe,” Ryan said softly and turned his hat around.
She laid back and looked at him, “Will you ever forgive me?” “Jade I love you,” he kissed her head. “I was mean to you,” she said. “You’re pretty emotional and I have to tell you I’m expecting it to get worse,” he kissed her. Maggie walked in an hour later, “Lucas is here. Should I send him in?” “Yes please,” Jade said and cried. Lucas walked in and Jade started sobbing, he looked horrified, “Tessa should I leave?” “No, Lucas she needs you here, go hug her,” Tessa said, “She misses Tommy.” “Hey, pretty girl,” Lucas sat next to her on the bed and held her hand. “I wish he were here, Lucas,” Jade said quietly. “I know me too,” he said, and his eyes glazed. Jade hugged him, and he put his arm around her. “I am going to use the bathroom,” Ryan said and Tessa followed him out. “How are you doing?” she asked. “This sucks Tessa, to see her cry and hurt and to have my hands tied,” Ryan said. “I didn’t see this coming,” Tessa looked down. “I didn’t either, and what about after?” he closed his eyes. Tessa hugged him, and he broke down. Jade screamed in pain. Ryan took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. Tessa walked in the room and glanced at Lucas, who looked petrified. “Jade breathe,” Tessa rubbed her back. “Tessa, I can’t do this,” Jade sobbed. Lucas stood up, and Tessa sat with her. “Jade it’s been five hours, mom can give you something so you can rest, what do you think?” “Where is Ryan?” “Right here, Jade,” Ryan said and walked in. “Do you hate me yet?” “Of course not.” Lucas looked at Tessa with a questioning look. She took his hand and walked into the hallway. They stood in the hall and Tessa closed her eyes. “She didn’t want him here; she asked him to leave, Jade’s a mess. And, by the way, how are you?” she hugged him. “Better now,” he smiled melting into her arms. “What should I do?” “I don’t know… right now, you’re the chosen one in there. Lead her Lucas, what would Tommy want her to do? Probably not shit on Ryan.” “No, he wouldn’t… he was,” Lucas stopped and his eyes got red she hugged him, “Fuck Tessa, this sucks.” “I love you Lucas, do what he would want you to,” she kissed him. Maggie cleared her throat, “Tessa, I think Jade needs you.” “Where’s Lucas?” Jade asked trying to breathe. “I’m right here. So what’s up Ryan?” Ryan smiled, “Just waiting.” “Aunt Maggie, please, I want him out of my crotch” Jade screamed through a contraction. “Wow,” Lucas whispered and Ryan tried not to laugh. Tessa smiled at her, “I think you just shocked those two over there. I don’t think they have ever heard those words before.” Jade laughed through her pain and Maggie scowled disapprovingly at Tessa. “So, Mom how is she doing besides the whole Tourette’s brought on by labor thing?” they all laughed.
“She’s almost ready, Jade if you want pain meds, now is the time, honey,” Maggie kissed her head. “Ryan do I need them? Am I completely horrible?” Jade asked. “You’re doing great Jade,” Ryan kissed her. She yelled out in pain again, and it was time. Lucas began to walk out of the room. “DON’T YOU LEAVE,” Jade yelled at Lucas. He stopped at the door and turned towards Tessa. She knew he was trying to not fall apart. He loved Tommy. They had grown up together. Best friends since they were little boys, brothers forever. “Tessa,” he said. Tessa smiled, “Stand up by her head and look away, you’ll be fine.” He looked at her like she was crazy. Tessa smiled, “That’s what she wants.” “I don’t know Tessa,” Lucas whispered. “What would he want?” She asked softly. He took a deep breath and stood above Jades head as the doctor came in. Jade pushed for half an hour and finally the most beautiful little gift from God was born. He had very thick black hair and the bluest eyes they had ever seen. On his chest above his heart was a small red mark. Maggie told them it was a stork bite. “I think it looks like a tiny little kiss,” Tessa looked at Jade whose eyes filled instantaneously with tears. “A kiss from Tommy,” Jade whispered to her, and they both cried. “Who is going to cut the cord?” the doctor asked. “My husband,” Jade quickly replied wiping the tears from her face. Jade cried when Maggie put him in her arms, Ryan squatted down next to her and kissed his little feet. “Hello you,” she kissed his head. He was eight pounds seven ounces and twenty- one inches long, absolutely perfect. Tessa bent down and kissed Jade’s head. “He is beautiful” she looked at him, “Welcome to the world little guy, we have been very excited to meet you.” Lucas stood frozen, and Tessa rubbed his back. “Go on, say hello,” he didn’t move. “Lucas” she whispered and kissed him. “Its okay,” and tears flowed down his face. Maggie looked at him, and her eyes started to tear up. “Lucas, would you like to hold him?” Jade asked. “Sure,” his voice a whisper: filled with pain and joy. Tessa had never heard or seen Lucas this way and her heart broke, in a much different way for Lucas. He looked at him, closed his eyes, and held him against his body. Tears fell, and Tessa wiped them away. “You and I are going to be so close,” he swallowed hard. “I’ll make sure you know how amazing your father was. And you are so lucky to have Ryan as your Daddy, he loves you and Jade so much,” he kissed his head and looked at him. He started into his blue eyes in wonder as Tommy’s little boy stared back at him. “Brother’s forever,” Lucas whispered as he kissed his little head. Reluctantly he handed him back to Jade, who watched the touching exchange. “Thank you, Jade,” Lucas said and walked out. Tessa looked at Jade. “Go,” Jade said quietly. Lucas was squatting against the wall outside the door. She knelt down and held his hands, he pulled her into him. Quietly and tenderly he cried.
“I could never have done that without you,” he said when he was finally able, “Thank you.” They sat there until Maggie came out of Jades room. “Lucas are you alright?” she asked. “I will be Maggie. Thank you.” “What you said in there was beautiful. I’m very proud of you,” Maggie bent down and kissed the top of his head. Tessa leaned back and looked at him, “I love you.” He smiled softly and stood up. He went to the bathroom, and she waited for him. They walked back into Jade’s room hand in hand. Ryan was holding him, and he was whispering to him. Jade was in the bathroom. “That is not cool,” Jade said as she walked out. “Do you have any idea how much blood…” Lucas laughed, and Jade looked up and saw Tessa and she laughed. “Sorry,” Jade said trying to suppress her smile. Maggie asked what to write on the birth certificate. Jade looked at Ryan, and he smiled. “Jade we’ve talked about this, you know what you want to do we will get through it,” she sat down, and he handed her the baby. “On November nineteenth God gave us Luke Thomas J, the J is for my dad, my brothers, and Tommy’s middle initials, his last name is Brooks like his daddy and Momma,” tears formed in her eyes, “His Father is Thomas James Lane.” Ryan sat behind her on a hospital bed, and she leaned into him. “That’s perfect, Jade,” Ryan kissed the back of her head. Tessa looked at Lucas, who laughed. “What’s so funny?” Jade asked. “LT, Tommy’s all time favorite football player,” he smiled at her. “Thank you, Jade, thank you, Ryan.” “It’s pretty perfect Jade. Has he latched on yet?” “We haven’t tried,” Jade answered. “Well, with a name like that, I bet it won’t be a problem,” she and Jade laughed. “Tessa Ross,” Maggie scolded. “Margaret Ross,” Tessa crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Jack walked in, and Jade smiled, “Hello Grandpa.” “Hello, baby girl how is TJ,” he asked smiling. They all laughed, and Jack looked confused. “Jade — I’ll be back in the morning unless you need me before then, Mom get that boy on her boobies,” Tessa looked at Ryan, “Not you.” Tessa hugged them and kissed Luke’s little feet. Lucas hugged them all, and they left. “Pretty good name,” he held her hand as they walked out of the hospital. “It’s perfect,” she said. “Follow me to the Brook’s house we can sleep for a few hours?” “Sure we will,” she laughed.
CHAPTER FIVE Tessa, Kendall, Cassidy, and Phoebe headed to camp after they left the hospital from a visit with Jade. Tessa turned up the tunes, and they danced and cleaned. Doe camp would soon turn into Deer Camp. Tessa always wondered why she bothered cleaning when it was just going to be full of her father’s old hunting buddies and Alex’s new ones. She would be cleaning it again in a few weeks anyway. They finished cleaning, and Tessa took Kendall home. She drove back up, and Cassidy brought in a bottle of wine. They drank it, even Phoebe. Tessa had three glasses. They wouldn’t be driving anywhere. Her phone chimed: it was him. - Hey baby, what are you doing?… LL - Just got done cleaning camp, a little later this year than expected. Phoebe, Cassidy and I are staying the night. Just took Kendall home, what are you doing?... LT - Went to dinner with Jose and a few guys, headed to bed, big game tomorrow! - I miss you… LL - Next week we’ll have five days off together, I miss you too… LT - Hey, my jeweler called, he says he received the package a few weeks ago with a ring, earrings, necklace, and bracelet in it. Apparently someone sent it in to be cleaned because it had gotten wet. You know anything about that? Did the homecoming queen go swimming?... LL - Fat chance, that was all Alex, and he fished, not swam after the Homecoming King threw a temper tantrum… LL - You would have let it sink?... LL - Absolutely, and don’t be a butt, you threw it in… LT - I miss you baby… LL - Ok, I miss you but your interrupting Doe Camp Lucas, and unless you plan to come paint our toes you better let me go, oh, by the way, make sure Jose is ready for all this!... LT - Love you, see you tomorrow… LL The girls were dancing and very buzzed when the door swung opened. “Honey I’m home!” Ben yelled. “Thank God because I have missed your face,” Tessa smiled and hugged him. “Love that greeting,” he kissed her cheek. “Hello Ben,” Phoebe looked at Tessa. “Tessa has had a few drinks; please excuse her for a moment.” “What?” Tessa asked. “Your boyfriend,” Phoebe said as the music stopped. Ben laughed and messed up her hair, “You back with that boy Tess? First love takes awhile to get over. You’ll get there.”
“But we’re friends right?” Tessa laughed and hugged him again. “Yes we are, forever,” Ben hugged her back and chuckled “You Ben… are interrupting Doe Camp” Tessa stepped away. “I just told Lucas to stop texting me or he would have to come paint our toenails.” “Cool, where’s the polish?” Cassidy grabbed the bag, “Right here — me first, please!” Ben painted their toenails and listened to them talk about baby Luke. Alex had already told him, and he had a gift shipped to their house. “Alright I am going to crash at your house, don’t need Lucas getting mad. You better have breakfast on the table in the morning girl,” he laughed as he walked out the door. Her phone chimed it was him as she was walking into the kitchen at the farm house. - Good morning baby, Miles signed with Cleveland, that means more playing time for me, just wanted to share the news, see you soon… LL - Can’t wait to watch you today Lucas, see you soon, I love you… LT She had breakfast on the table when Alex and Ben walked downstairs. “Look at this, you’re a good girl, all showered and looking hot with breakfast on the table, perfect. Now all you need to do is be barefoot and pregnant,” Ben said, and he and Alex laughed. Tessa glared at him as she cleaned up. Alex went outside, and she ran in the bathroom and threw up. When she finished, she stood up and rinsed her mouth, she saw Ben’s reflection in the mirror. “You all right Tess?” Ben asked. “Yep — I think I drank too much last night,” she said, “I feel better now.” “You headed to Lucas’s game?” “Yes, the starting quarterback signed with the Brown’s last night, Lucas is pretty excited to have more play time,” she said and walked out past him. “Tess, why did you go back to him? After all that?” She sat down and told him everything. “I chose to give myself to him; there is no turning back now.” “You really believe that Tess?” “I do.” “So someone like me that’s had sex with four people is going to burn in hell?” She looked down, “No, he forgives us. Who was four?” He looked down and shook his head. “What is wrong with the boys I fall for? They all like crazy girls.” “You fell for me, Tess?” Her face turned red, “I guess I did.” “Well, what happened?” “The accident,” she whispered. “Oh, I see,” he said and was quiet for a moment. “You love Lucas, Tess?” “Yes,” she said softly. “And you loved me?” he asked and held her hand. “You were different, you were my friend,” She said and looked at him. “AM your friend Tess, always,” he said. “Why did you sleep with Lauren?” “I’m not sure why, now,” he said looking at her.
She looked into his brown eyes. He looked away and laughed. “I guess I’m human,” she was still looking at his eyes. “Tess, you're making me uncomfortable.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” she looked down. “Thank you, Ben.” “For what?” “For being you,” she smiled and got up.
CHAPTER SIX Lucas was a rock star; he and Jose connected the same way that he and Tommy used to. She paid no attention to Jenny but felt her staring. When the game was over, Lucas walked up and picked her up and kissed her. She waited for him outside the locker room and he walked out. Jenny didn’t try to talk to him, good, she thought. “Hey baby,” he lifted her and spun her around. “Hey, yourself my hotty Rockstar,” she kissed him again. “Dinner?” “Sure, or do you want to go to camp or see little Luke?” “All of the above,” he said and took her hand and walked to the Jeep. She tossed him the keys, “You drive.” “Okay,” he said. He got on 81, and he looked at her, she was biting her lip and looking down at him, he smiled. “Baby what are you thinking?” he asked and kissed her hand. “Nothing,” she said and threw herself back into the seat. He put her hand between his legs. “This is not nothing?” She stroked him over his pants for a bit and stopped and crossed her arms. She wanted him so badly. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and laughed. “Shut up Lucas.” “I just don’t get it.” Lucas chuckled. “Get what?” she asked. “It’s all yours, you should just take it,” he pulled her hand back where he knew she wanted it. He pulled her hair gently towards him and kissed her. Her hand moved down unbuttoning his pants. She pulled his erection free and slid her hand down on his hot silky skin. At the base, she held him and gently cupped his balls, “That’s nice, Baby,” he moaned. Tessa felt her face flush as she licked her lips looking at the pearl forming on the tip of his broad purple crown. She stroked him up and down faster. “Please baby,” he asked and put his hand up her shirt. “Lucas no,” she squirmed a bit. “You love me?” he moaned. She kissed him, “Yes, but I won’t do that again.” Tessa kissed him and rubbed her thumb around the pre- cum and he hissed. She pulled her hand away and sat back in her seat. He laughed, “There are other things I want to try.” “No, Lucas,” she said sternly. “I don’t think it’s within your control to tell me no,” he chuckled. Ha! She thought now it’s really not going to happen! *** They pulled into Lucas’s driveway and quietly walked in. Ryan was rocking Luke. “Hey, where is Jade?” Tessa asked quietly. “She is in the bathroom, and she’s very upset,” Ryan said pointing to the gift basket, “The Lane’s left that sometime last night. Go ahead read it.” The letter stated that they wanted to see TJ and that they could do this nicely or through the courts.
They were disgusted that she was married so soon after Tommy’s death. They expected to be able to see him, and they expected to be contacted by the day’s end. “She is having a hard time nursing she feels like he isn’t getting enough to eat. She’s a mess,” he said and continued rocking. “Okay well, how is Lukie,” Tessa asked, “May I hold him?” Ryan stood up, and she sat and held him. Ryan knocked on the bathroom door. “Tessa and Lucas are here,” he walked in and closed the door behind him. “Please don’t look at me.” “You look beautiful,” Ryan said as she slipped her robe over her shoulders. He took a towel and dried her hair. “Absolutely beautiful,” he kissed her neck softly. “Thanks, Ryan, but I feel nasty, my stomach and my ass, my boobs would be great except they squirt everywhere,” she put toothpaste on her toothbrush. “You’re crazy Jade, you look no different to me. And just so you are aware, I want to taste that milk,” he grinned. She looked up at him trying not to smile. “I’m crazy?” She laughed, “Don’t you think it’s gross?” “No Jade — anything that comes out of that body is very desirable to me,” he said flaring his nose. “Okay, you know we can’t do anything for at least six weeks.” “We can ask at your next appointment. Until then I can take care of myself,” he said, and they laughed. “Thank you,” she hugged him. “For what?” Ryan asked. “Taking my mind off all that stuff,” she said. “I love you Ryan.” “So what’s the plan?” Lucas asked when Jade and Ryan walked in. Ryan got off the phone with Julie the family law lawyer he had used while fighting his biological parents from trying to regain custody of him and the one he took Jade to a few months back. “She said we should let them come over and meet him, but no visits without us present,” Ryan explained as he handed Jade a glass of water. Jade looked at Tessa, “Will you stay?” “Of course,” Tessa said. Jade sent a text and the Lane’s were there within an hour. “Hello, come in,” Tessa opened the door. They walked in, and Jade was rocking her son. Jade didn’t look up she just looked at his perfect little face. “Can I hold Thomas?” Mrs. Lane asked. Jade looked up, “His name is Luke.” “Why would you do that? We already discussed this?” she snapped. “Mrs. Lane, Jade named him Luke Thomas J. the J is after her brothers,” Ryan explained. “Oh,” she said and looked at Lucas, “I suppose it’s after you.” “I suppose,” Lucas said coldly. “May I hold him?” She asked again. “Could you sit down?” Jade asked softly. “I guess,” she said, and Jade handed her baby Luke. “He looks just like Tommy,” she began to cry. Jade sat on one side of her and Mr. Lane on the other. “Does he sleep a lot?” she asked quietly.
“During the day,” she said quietly. “Can you tell me all about him?” She asked. “Can I ask what your intentions are?” Jade asked. “To get to know my grandson,” she scowled at Jade. “I don’t believe you,” Jade said. “Jade honey…” Ryan started. “Ryan — so how does it feel to take Tommy’s place?” Mrs. Lane asked. “I am not taking his place,” Ryan response was kind and gentle. “Well, you most certainly are,” Mrs. Lane snapped. “Please give me Luke and leave,” Jade said. “No,” she pulled him closer to her. Jade looked terrified, “Give me my baby.” “Give her the baby,” Mr. Lane said. She cried and then after a few minutes handed him to Jade. Jade let out a breath and held him closely. He opened his eyes and yawned. “Hello baby,” tears fell down her face. She kissed him and held him as she shook. Jade was terrified that they would take him from her. She couldn’t have imagined how much someone could love something so small. He held her heart in his tiny little hands and he didn’t even know it yet. Jade stared at his face as she took deep calming breaths. He absolutely looked like Tommy. Perfect and beautiful. She closed her eyes and knew that the Lane’s hearts must be breaking because hers would never be the same if they took him from her. “Would you like to hold him?” She asked Thomas. Thomas Lane was a calm, gentle man. He reminded Jade of Tommy. The way he looked at his wife, even when he knew she was wrong, love poured from his eyes. “I would Jade, thank you,” Thomas said. He looked at him and smiled. “Hello Luke, you’re beautiful, your father would sure love you.” “He would, wouldn’t he?” Jade fought her tears. “He looks happy Jade, you're going to be a great mother,” Thomas said. “He’s going to want to eat in about five minutes,” she said. “Can I feed him?” he asked. “No sorry, you don’t have the right parts,” Jade blushed. Tessa made dinner and Ryan invited them to stay. Mr. Lane accepted. Jade held Luke close and sat next to Mrs. Lane when dinner was at the table. They both looked nervously at one another most of the time. “I want him to know you. I won’t keep you from him,” Jade whispered. By the end of the meal, Mrs. Lane was holding her grandchild in her arms telling him about the son she lost. Jade looked at Thomas Lane several times and each time he smiled softly, appreciatively at the mother of his beloved son’s child easing Jade’s angst and fear, just like Tommy would have wanted. ***
CHAPTER SEVEN The week went by fast. Neither Tessa nor Lucas had class on Wednesday due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Lucas and Jose spent the night at camp with Alex and Ryan. Tessa was going to Jade’s with the girls to hang out with baby Luke. Tessa left Jade’s at five in the morning to help her mother make Thanksgiving dinner. She got out of the Jeep and threw up immediately. Ben walked out of the barn with a rope. “Tess… are you okay?” “Yes,” she wiped her mouth, “I must still have a little bit of a bug.” “Okay, can I get you anything?” Concern shown in his eyes. “No thank you, just don’t say anything, please. I don’t want everyone trying to baby me.” He looked at her, “Tess you sure you're alright?” “See just like that, I am fine, go I don’t know, hang something with that,” she laughed pointing at the rope. “Should I hang Lucas?” he winked at her and she shoved him in jest. He got in his truck and pulled out. He watched as she threw up again in his rearview mirror. *** Jade brought baby Luke and Tessa did her best to stay away, she didn’t want him to get sick. They all ate Thanksgiving dinner swapping hunter tales and chatting about Football. When the guys all went to watch football Tessa helped clean up. She packed up a bunch of left over’s, sweet potatoes, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, and turkey insisting Jade and Ryan take it home. When most everyone had left, Tessa showered and sat on Lucas’s lap and fell asleep to him rubbing her arm lightly up and down. Lucas, Alex, Phoebe, Ben, and Jose were watching a movie when Tessa jumped out of a sound sleep. “You okay Baby?” “Yes,” she got up and ran to the bathroom, just in time. When she was done getting sick, she walked out to the kitchen and made them all popcorn. “Jose did you kill anything today?” Tessa asked as she handed out bowls of popcorn. “No,” Jose laughed, “I got a tree though.” “Good job!” They sat and talked for a while longer as she fought to stay awake. When everyone finished, she took the bowls out and washed them. “Tess, are you feeling better? You didn’t eat much,” Ben asked quietly setting an empty bowl by the sink. “See what I mean,” she laughed and shoved him with her hip. The boys were leaving for camp and Tessa was giving Alex containers full of food. Lucas hugged her, as everyone else walked out the door. “I miss you, baby.” “You have fun, I’ll see you tomorrow” she kissed him. “I should stay,” he hugged her tighter. “No, go have fun with Jose, I get the weekend though,” she smiled. “Yes you do,” he kissed her. She closed her eyes, “Go now, please.”
“I love you,” he smiled. “I love you, too.” *** Tessa woke up in the morning, leapt from her bed, ran to the bathroom, and threw up again. Ben walked in. “Hey, I forgot to grab,” he stopped and looked her up and down. “Tess are you on the pill?” Tessa looked at him confused and threw up again. He let out an exasperated breath, squatted down, pulled her blonde curls away from her face, and rubbed her back. “Tessa when did you have your period last?” Ben asked softly. She looked back at him and wiped her mouth, stood up, washed her face, used mouthwash, and then brushed her teeth. She looked at him expressionless. Ben knew she was scared. He shook his head and walked out, leaving her alone. Ben walked back in the house fifteen minutes later with a bag and handed it to her. “Go do this… now,” he looked away quickly. She walked in the bathroom; he sat on the couch and waited. When she walked out and looked at him. He watched her eyes fill up and she started crying. “Oh God, Tess,” he hugged her. He led her to the couch, and she lay on his lap sobbing as he rubbed her back. “You’re going to be fine,” he said, and she looked up at him. “I can’t do this Ben, I never thought for a minute this would be my life. You must be so disgusted by me,” she began crying even harder. “Tess, you don’t have a choice, and I’m not disgusted. Disappointed maybe,” he said. “Why aren’t you on birth control?” “I was I stopped because… I was done with him. We’ve used condoms since then, I was going to start as soon as I got it,” she continued to cry. “Oh Tess, please stop crying,” Ben continued to rub her back. “No, this is insane,” she said. “Please don’t tell anyone Ben, I don’t want Lucas to know.” “Don’t want me to know what?” Lucas asked standing with his arms across his chest. “What the fuck is going on here Tessa? Is this why you didn’t want me to stay last night are you fucking Ben now? You know what I don’t fucking care, I’m out, have fun with her Ben!” Lucas turned and started to walk out. “This has nothing to do with me. It’s all you Links. Tess, I’m going to leave you two alone. If you need me for anything, you have my number. I love you girl, and you’re going to be fine,” he kissed her cheek and stood up to leave. “Thank you, Ben.” Lucas was livid as Ben pushed past him, “Do you need to fucking tell me something Tessa?” “Fuck you! Not when you’re acting like that,” she ran outside. He stormed after her, “You can’t do that, you can’t walk away from me.” “Oh yes, I can. I should have never stopped last time you fucked me over,” she yelled. “Fuck you, Tessa,” he yelled. She walked passed him back into the house and went in her bathroom. Lucas followed her in she sat on the floor crying and rocking herself. He looked at her and took a deep breath, “Tessa you need to tell me what is going on because right now I am thinking of so many different things, and I can’t do this.” She threw him the test, she couldn’t look at him, he was going to hate her, and she couldn’t deal with it
right now. She heard him take a deep breath and then he sat next to her. “Might be wrong right?” he asked calmly “And it might be right,” she hugged her knees. “How am I supposed to do this? How could this happen?” “You’re nineteen and moving out in a month. You’ll figure it out,” he rubbed her back. “I’ll figure it out? She hissed. “I didn’t mean it like that, baby,” Lucas hugged her. “Please don’t touch me!” “Oh wow,” he put his hands in the air. She stopped crying when she heard Chewy bark. “I need to get out of here.” “Where can I take you?” “You can go, I need to be alone,” she snapped. “You’re going to be FUN,” he laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped, “Fuck you, LUCAS!” He shook his head and smiled, “Can we please go somewhere and talk Tessa?” “Fine,” she picked up the bag, wrappers, and test. She brushed her teeth and washed her face and walked out of the bathroom. “Hi guys — Lucas and I will be back soon,” she breezed past Kendall and Jake and out the door. They drove to the park and got out and she started walking. They sat in the pavilion. “What is there to talk about?” “I don’t know,” he sat behind her on a picnic table. “Okay… so I fucked you after a pretty nasty break up and now I’m a fucking teen statistic. That about covers it right?” He laughed, “Sure Tessa, and hey I’m on a full football scholarship and kicking ass I got a girl knocked up does that cover it? Oh, wait that’s three for me.” “Four if you count the fake one,” she looked up at him. He hugged her, “What a mess.” “Yeah, I guess so,” she touched her belly and cried. He hugged her. “So that would be next summer right?” “Yep,” she tried to calm her breathing “We can do this Tessa; you’re going to be a great mom. You can stay home until she’s in school, I can work, we can have more,” he smiled as he kidded with her. “Lucas you're finishing school and I’m going to work.” “That’s not going to happen,” he laughed and kissed her. She stood up and paced back and forth, “Yes it is, you can work summers. We can figure it out, just spend money wisely. I’m still going to school.” Tessa stopped and put her hands on her hips. “Let’s not fight about this Tessa. We have time to figure it out,” he grabbed her and hugged her. “You’ll finish at SU and play football, or I'm not doing this.” He laughed rolling his eyes, “Oh — okay.” “What’s so funny?” “You and your crazy ass hormones,” he grinned and looked at her breast, “I can’t wait till those things get bigger.” “How am I going to explain this to my parents?” “I can tell them,” he offered.
“You’re going to have a hard enough time telling yours” she smiled a bit. “Yeah, thank God Mom lives with a shrink,” he laughed. “Oh Lucas, will it ever be easy?” “Sure, after reading those books you gave me and thinking about my youth it should be in about twenty years,” he laughed and hugged her. “See Tessa Ross, we’re meant to be together, forever.” She hugged him and laughed, “How are you going to go a lifetime without a blow job?” He smiled, “How are going to survive a lifetime without giving one?” “Do you think I LIKE doing that?” She asked annoyed. “Yeah, I do” he laughed harder. She loved happy Lucas and oddly he seemed very happy, “Can we wait for twelve weeks to tell people?” “Yes, I think that’s a good idea.” “Good, can you stay with me tonight?” She asked holding his hand as they walked to the Jeep. “Depends,” he gave her a shit ass grin. “On what?” “Oh, I don't know,” he looked down and ran his finger along her lower lip. “What if I throw up on you?” “You can lick it up baby.” She glared at him and stomped ahead of him, “No then.” “Your ass looks fine Tessa Ross,” he yelled from behind her. “It’s going to look a lot bigger in a few months,” she yelled back. “That’s alright with me; I’ll work it off you after.” She turned around and looked at him, he ran up and picked her up and kissed her, “God I have missed you… and now — you are stuck with me forever.” “I guess I am,” she said quietly in his ear. He pulled back a little and looked into her eyes, “You alright with that Tessa?” “Don’t hurt me Lucas, please don’t hurt me again,” Tessa buried her head in his chest and at that moment she understood why Sadi had made the hardest decision anyone ever would have to. “I promise. So I get a say in the apartment now?” “No.” “Oh yes, I do we’re not living in the hood with a baby,” he laughed. “And it will be at least three bedrooms.” “Why three?” She asked, “You’re not going to sleep with me anymore?” “Of course I am. We need a guest room, I’m sure we will have grandparents and siblings around. Tessa, she is going to be beautiful” he said and kissed her. Tessa cried, “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe this happened. My God, I hated Sadi for trapping you and now I feel like…I didn’t mean for this to happen Lucas. I hope you know that I would never. DAMN IT! Of course, I wouldn’t …I can’t do this. This is not cool, this is — I’m sorry Lucas.” “Hey, if anyone should be sorry it’s me,” he rubbed her cheek and kissed her again. “Tessa, I’m very okay with this, I love you.” “I love you.” “I have a question Tessa, but I don’t want to argue or fight right now okay?” he asked. She shook her head, “Go ahead.” “Why did you go to him, and not me?” She looked up at him. “Lucas, I didn’t, I would never. He saw me get sick when I came home yesterday morning; he was walking out of the barn with a rope. This morning I threw up, and he walked in,” she told him the story. “I said ‘don’t tell Lucas’ because I was scared. I would’ve told you Lucas, I
just didn’t want to disappoint you.” “You are more perfect every day. Listen — you need to stop trying to take care of me. I want to take care of YOU Tessa and our child.” Lucas hugged her, and she cried. They went to the drug store, and he bought vitamins and folic acid. He came out and got in the SUV and handed her the bag. Tessa smiled, closed her eyes, and sat back.
CHAPTER EIGHT Lucas played well in his game. As always Tessa waited outside the locker rooms. He came out and walked past Jenny and crew and looked grinned at Tessa. “Hey, rock star,” Tessa kissed him. Lucas’s eyes were smoldering, “Hey baby,” he kissed her again and gently grabbed the back of her head. “I need you now,” he said in a deep voice. Her eyes widened, and she smiled, “Right here?” He picked her up and carried her to the Jeep as she laughed and held tightly to his bulging biceps. He drove to the dorm in silence. He rubbed her hand with his the entire time. When they arrived, he jumped out. He opened her door and took her hand. The ride to his floor was a silent. The elevator door opened, and they walked quickly towards his room. Tessa closed her eyes, she was worried and even for a moment thought he was going to tell her he wasn’t sure about them anymore. That he was going to fuck her and then confess that there was more that she didn’t know about Jenny or maybe even more girls. She was afraid, terrified — that her insecurity, her weakness for him, made him look at her different like she was no different than Sadi or any other girl that his whole life had given him whatever he needed, wanted just to have him. Afraid that he would treat her the same way he had Sadi. That for the rest of her life, she was going to be hurt because like everyone, she had failed Lucas. He sat her on the bed. He took a box out of the desk drawer and knelt down. “Tessa Ross I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up to you every morning and go to sleep next to you every night, I want to raise a family together, and love you forever. Baby, will you marry me?” She stared down at him and searched his eyes. She looked at his beautiful face, and his perfect lips, his green eyes that sparkled when he looked at her. “You’re sure? I mean …” Lucas closed his eyes and his brows knit together, “Of course I will. Yes Lucas — I’ll marry you.” Lucas took her face in his hand and kissed her gently. Everything about him was gentler now. His kiss, his touch, and the way he looked at her. He rubbed her gently spreading her as he kissed and nibbled down her throat. He gently took her nipple between his lips as his tongue teasingly licked her. “God, I love you,” he whispered as he raised his body over hers and held himself rubbing gently against her wet warmth. He pushed in tenderly. His teeth clenched, eyes shut tightly, breath hissing as he pushed into her over and over and over again. When they finished, he lay beside her and kissed her. “I am the luckiest man on the planet Tessa Ross. I love you.” Tessa laughed, “Lucas Links, you’re so sweet, I love you.” *** As they drove towards home, Tessa was looking out the window deep in thought. “Lucas you know you didn’t have to do that because I’m pregnant,” Tessa looked at the ring. It was beautiful, much like the last one but bigger and shinier. “Tessa, the ring has been in my drawer for two weeks now” he laughed. “I was going to wait until
Christmas Eve or the day we moved into our new apartment, which by the way we’re going to see now.” “Hold on what did you just say?” “I found a place, that’s available on the fifteenth of December, it’s a safe neighborhood, and it is beautiful Tessa. Please don’t be mad,” he grabbed her hand. She didn’t pull it away. She had more than her to worry about now. “Did you already get it Lucas?” “Would you be angry if I did?” “I wouldn’t say angry, annoyed possibly,” she said still admiring the ring and smiling. She was so happy she was wrong, he did love her and she couldn’t doubt it again — it hurt too much. *** He pulled in and parked in front of a row of townhouses. He jumped out and opened the door. “Come look, Baby,” he was so excited, like a kid on Christmas Eve. She took his hand and couldn’t help but smile. Lucas smile was contagious and could change the world, she was sure of it, it changed hers. They walked in the front door into a small foyer. There were hardwood floors throughout, the kitchen was in the back, and straight ahead to the left was a den and the right a dining room. It was bright and new and freshly painted. Off of the kitchen was the living room with a fireplace and a bathroom. The kitchen was completely modern and beautiful. There were French doors leading to a deck and a fenced in backyard. He watched her as she looked around trying to anticipate what she was thinking, how she would react. She walked upstairs without saying a word. There were two small bedrooms and a bathroom between them. Across the hall was the master suite which was amazing and resembled Lucas’s bedroom back home. She took a deep breath and hugged herself looking around. He put his arms around her. “Is this okay?” “It’s beautiful, but Lucas we can’t afford this,” she said. “We have to be smart with money.” “Tessa, I made enough money this summer to cover this,” he kissed her check. “I want you to finish college Lucas, please.” “Why is that so important to you?” “You worked hard for it. I don’t want to take that away from you ever, I wouldn’t ever be alright with that. Do you understand that?” she turned around and looked at him. “Tessa if I promise you I’ll finish school, will you promise me we can live here?” “No,” she shook her head. “I won’t let your father help us.” “I won’t ask for his help. I have asked him once for my mother that’s it. I’ll even give him back the credit card if you want.” “Well then how?” “I have money Tessa. I told you I’ve worked. I have a college fund that I haven’t even touched yet because of my scholarship, we” he said and touched her stomach and smiled. “We will all be fine.” “I want to see that in black and white before I agree. I’ll get a job — too, to pay my own way.” He smiled. “Let me take care of you. Come on Tessa, don’t be stubborn. Tell me you like it.” “I like it,” she said, “But I can be just as happy somewhere far less extravagant.” “Tessa say yes — let me off the hook here, baby,” Lucas pleaded. “Okay yes, but after I know what half of everything is.” He picked her up and spun her around. He handed her the other key and smiled. “You’re such a jerk,” she playfully smacked him in the arm. He kissed her, and they made love on the bedroom floor.
She lay there and started to fall asleep. “You’re tired Tessa.” “Yes, I have been a lot lately,” she said quietly as she forced herself to sit up and get dressed. As they drove home, he handed her his checkbook. She shook her head as she looked at the balance, and again when she saw that he had already paid six months’ worth of rent. “I pay the utilities,” she said. He laughed. “We can move in anytime Tessa, I think maybe you should tell your parents.” “What am I supposed to say?” “I’m going to move in with a roommate?” he laughed. “Or how about Lucas and I are young and stupid and having a baby when we usually break up every three months,” she said quietly. He didn’t respond he just shook his head and raised his eyebrow. He pulled into a steakhouse. He opened her door, and she got out. She looked up at him apologetically; she hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He kissed her and then lifted her chin, “You’re definitely going to be a lot of fun, let’s go eat.” *** When they got back home Lucas dropped her off and headed back to Ryan and Jades, he was going to study, finals were this week. Tessa walked in and lay on the couch and fell asleep. Ben walked in and saw her sleeping; he saw the ring on her finger and closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe she was going to have a child with him and marry him. He shook his head as he continued watching her sleep. She opened her eyes and saw him sitting there. “So you’re going to marry him?” She sat up and yawned, “I love him Ben, and now, well, yes I am. Please don’t tell anyone. We’re going to wait until I’ve gone to the doctors and after the first trimester is over.” “What about school Tess? What about you, God — you don’t even look happy?” He was angry. “You know you don’t have to marry him just because you’re pregnant.” “Ben, I told you I love him,” she said softly. “How can you when he has hurt you so many times?” “I just do, and now I don’t have a choice, and even if I did, Ben — I don’t know… it is what it is,” she said and stood up and walked in the bathroom and she threw up again. She walked out, and he walked downstairs with his bags. “Where are you going?” “To camp,” he said. “Ben, please talk to me.” “Tess, I can’t watch him screw you up anymore,” he walked past her to the door. “Ben, please.” “Tess, please stop crying,” he dropped his bag and hugged her. “Please don’t hate me,” she said quietly. “I would never, but I need to go, your secret is safe with me. Get to a doctor,” he kissed her cheek and left. She sat and thought about Ben, she knew he didn’t hate her. She just hated that he was THIS disappointed in her.
CHAPTER NINE Lucas finished his finals and Christmas was only a week away. Tessa was moving out of the farm house. Lucas had slowly been moving things in for a week. Maggie and John had gone to a few counseling sessions and had decided to make things work. Molly announced that she was pregnant a week after Thanksgiving. Everything was changing, but for the better this time. “Now why do you need three bedrooms?” Maggie asked Tessa. “In case we get a roommate… Lucas and I won’t be sharing a room.” She laughed. Maggie shook her head, “You’ve never been a good liar.” *** Tessa and Lucas walked into her doctor appointment together. She was anxious, and he was too, he just didn’t let her see it. They did blood work and sent her into an exam room. She changed and laid waiting for the doctor. Lucas wanted to go in, but she insisted that he waited until the exam was done. She remembered the last time she had been on the Vagatron 5000 and didn’t want him in there to witness it. “I was in the room when Jade had her baby,” Lucas whispered. “It’s different,” was all Tessa had said. The exam was done, and the nurse brought Lucas back to the room. “Are you alright?” he asked. “Yes I’m fine,” she said softly. The doctor told them that based on the date she was seven weeks — more than half way through the first trimester. She told her what she should and should not be eating and what activities to avoid. “So everything looks alright?” Lucas asked. “Everything seems fine,” she smiled. *** “You are so quiet lately Tessa, please tell me what you are thinking,” Lucas asked. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.” “Are you unhappy, I mean you are so distant it makes me, I don’t know baby, are we okay?” he looked like he may burst. “We’re good Lucas, okay?” she said and touched his face. “We’re very good.” He hugged her, “I just miss you.” “Sorry,” she started to cry. “Sorry for what, Tessa?” “All of this, I’m sorry if you feel trapped, or if you feel like this is too much to deal with. I’m just… sorry,” she said and he stepped back. “I don’t feel that way, but obviously you do,” he said with hurt in his eyes. Hurt quickly turned to anger, “I need to take a drive.” He left, and she cried. Lucas was gone for an hour, and she began to worry. She sent him a text - And this is exactly why… Tessa
She went to bed wondering where he might be. He lay down next to her and kissed her. “Don’t,” she said. “Why?” “Where have you been?” she asked and sat up. “Shopping,” he smiled. “Goodnight Lucas,” she rolled her eyes and lay back down. “It’s five thirty Tessa,” he laughed. “And I am tired. Go back to where ever you ran off to,” her voice cracked “I told you I went shopping,” he laughed and got up. She laid there and fell back to sleep. She smelled something cooking downstairs. She got up to use the bathroom. She needed crackers her stomach was off. Tessa walked down, and he was cooking dinner. She opened the cupboard and grabbed for the crackers. Lucas looked at her and shook his head as she gave him a dirty look, “Baby I’m making you dinner, can you wait like ten minutes?” She looked at him and ran into the bathroom and threw up. This sucks she thought. He pulled her hair back and rubbed her shoulders, “You need anything?” “Crackers,” she snapped and grabbed them and walked outside. “Tessa, talk to me,” he said from behind her with a smile in his voice. “Where did you go?” she asked and shoved a cracker in her mouth. “Shopping I told you that,” he said quietly. “I’ve told you I wouldn’t hurt you again. I’m here Tessa, all in Baby. You need to start trusting me again.” “Lucas I feel like garbage all the time, I’m either tired or sick. And then I think about how much I miss you. And as far as making you happy, I can’t when I feel like this and then I say things that either hurt you or piss you off. And I just feel awful, and it makes me lash out more and I don’t mean it. I just don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.” He smiled as she rambled on and on and then laughed, “I knew you’d be fun.” “It’s not funny,” she scowled. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s go eat dinner,” he kissed her cheek and went inside. She went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She walked into the dining room there were flowers and candles, it was sweet very sweet. She smiled as she looked up and he carried dinner in. She smiled at him, “Thank you Lucas, I’m sorry.” He kissed her and set her plate down. She looked at the chicken, and he watched her face. She was trying to hide the disgust, and laughed and he took the plate and brought it out to the kitchen. He brought her in a new plate with crackers and a glass of milk. “I am so sorry, it looked really great,” she said quietly. He laughed, “Really?” She smiled, “Sorry.” She fell asleep on the couch next to him, he grabbed one of the baby books off the coffee table. “Hi,” she said and kissed his cheek. “Hello baby,” he said and smiled, “You look better, I mean not that you looked bad, you just….” “Lucas I have two perfectly good eyes’ I know how awful I’ve looked,” she laughed.” But right now, I feel a lot better.” “Good,” he grabbed the book, “It says here you are supposed to start feeling better at the end of the first trimester and you, “she kissed him. “I feel good right now,” she kissed him again.
“Oh, are you…” she kissed him again. “Lucas will you be quiet,” she laughed. “Really?” he asked and his green eyes danced. She smiled and shook her head up and down. She rubbed down his stomach and under the waistband of his running pants, “That was quick.” Lucas’s breath hitched, “Yeah.” She wiggled out of her pants as she stroked him. His hand was up her shirt gently kneading her breast and she climbed on his lap, holding him in her hand she gently eased down on him, “Damn Baby.” His mouth crashed over hers as she rode him. When they had finished, they went upstairs. They took a shower and got into bed. “Now you look better,” she laughed. “It’s been a rough couple weeks,” Lucas laughed, “You alright?” “Yes, I just have to go to the bathroom,” she whispered. She came out and snuggled into him and fell asleep. *** She woke up and ran downstairs. He was warming up milk for oatmeal. “Good morning,” she hugged him. “Do you want to go for a run?” “Are you sure?” Lucas asked. “I feel great right now, please,” she smiled and jumped up and down. “How about a walk?” he said knowing it would piss her off. “Fine,” she stomped. They held hands as they walked and talked about nothing and everything. Every time she walked faster he found a way to slow her down. “What do you want to do today?” he asked smiling at her as they walked in the house. “You,” she laughed and squeezed his ass. “Doesn’t it worry you?” he grinned. “No,” she laughed. “I mean we could wait for six more months if you like? Lucas check out my boobs, they have grown.” She lifted her shirt. “Yes they have,” he laughed. “So I want to invite a bunch of people over tomorrow for your birthday, can we?” “If you want to,” he looked at her and smiled. “Well, it’s your birthday. What do you want to do?” He smiled and looked at her mouth, “Whatever as long as it’s with you.” She shook her head and laughed, “Please help me out here Lucas.” “I think inviting some people over would be good, but what if you spend the night in the bathroom?” he asked. “You ready for all those questions baby?” “No, I don’t know. It’s your birthday Lucas, please tell me what you want to do,” she pleaded. “I want to spend it with you,” he smiled. *** He woke in the morning to Tessa under the covers. “Damn, what’s going on baby?” he asked, “I thought this was never an option again.” He laid back and enjoyed. “Happy Birthday Lucas,” she said as she emerged from under the covers. “Yes it is,” he hugged her and laughed lazily.
“Okay, I am going to take you to enjoy one of my favorite things ever, besides you, of course,” she smiled. “Let’s shower.” She was full of energy again and he was glad she was feeling better, real glad. *** They walked into a nail salon. “You're seriously going to make me do this?” “You will love it,” she held his hand tighter. When they finished and were walking out the door, Tessa smiled at Lucas, “Did you like it?” “I don’t want to answer that.” “Why?” Tessa laughed. “Because if I admit I do, I’m afraid you’ll make me do this all the time or worse — tell people I like it,” Lucas laughed. “Okay, onto our next activity.” They pulled into the massage parlor down the road. The blonde walked out and called his name. He looked at Tessa’s face and knew she was a bit jealous. “My fiancée’ will be in the room with us,” he dragged her behind him. “Did you enjoy that?” she said as they walked out. “Did you?” he asked laughing. She shook her head no. “Yeah, I got that, how about we buy some oils, and we can rub each other down sometime,” he said and kissed her. She smiled, and he saw her eye’s flash desire. “You are feeling better aren’t you?” he laughed. *** They parked in front of the townhouse, got out, and started walking in the house; Lucas picked her up as he opened the door. “Now we are going upstairs for the rest of the night,” she covered his mouth and jumped down. “Surprise,” they all yelled. Lucas looked around. Ryan, Jade and baby Luke were there. Alex, Phoebe, his mother and her fiancé,' Jose and Miles and some others from the team. He smiled broadly and laughed. “Thanks, baby,” he kissed her. Ryan and Alex had made steaks, and Jade and Phoebe had brought shrimp and potatoes. His mother had brought enough drinks all nonalcoholic and Tessa ran to the basement and grabbed the chips, breads, and dips she had made late last night. They hung out and celebrated Lucas’s birthday and Tessa held baby Luke when he wasn’t being fed. Lucas watched her as she looked at him and smiled. She was a natural at this, and he knew their child would have the best mother in the world. She took him upstairs after his ten o’clock feeding. She rocked him and sat him in the pack n play, and then lay next to him on the bed and fell asleep with his tiny little hand wrapped around her finger. Jade and Ryan were spending the night. “Hey baby, it’s eleven thirty,” Lucas said quietly “Would you come down with me?” She stood up and gently released her finger from baby Luke’s grasp. “Isn’t he beautiful?” She said. “Yes he is,” Lucas smiled. She took his hand and they walked down the stairs together.
They walked into the kitchen to get drinks, and there was a knock on the door. Tessa and Lucas opened it, and Jenny and a few girls walked in. “Miles called and invited us over,” she said. Lucas looked at Tessa, “Because he is here it’s alright this time, but not again.” “Did you catch that Jenny?” he asked sternly. “Yes,” she said sarcastically. He walked into the kitchen, and she was annoyed, “Baby, I’m sorry.” “I know it wasn’t you, I just hate that bitch.” “Me too,” he hugged her. “Let’s get drinks to everyone, it’s almost time. Would you mind if I spit in hers?” she asked and smiled. “I guess if you want to,” he said looking down. “It was a joke, that’s gross,” she giggled, and they walked into the living room. At midnight they kissed and he held his forehead to hers, “This is where I want to be forever.” “Me too Lucas,” he kissed her again. They sat on the chaise together, and everyone was talking and laughing, the party was still in full force. Tessa began to nod off. He played with her hair and kissed her head. She leaned back into him and fell asleep. “Wow, she can fall asleep anywhere,” Jade laughed. “It’s great isn’t it,” Lucas smiled as he watched her sleep. “How are you two doing?” Alex asked. “Never better.” Miles and the others from the team left, and so did Alex and Phoebe. Lucas’s mom gave him a kiss and kissed Tessa’s head, and they left. Jade had gone upstairs to get ready for bed. Jenny and her girls walked into the living room. “Ryan — you want to show them out,” Lucas asked sternly. “Can we stay,” Jenny smiled. “No,” he said. “Your loss,” she said and walked out. Ryan went upstairs, and Lucas fell asleep. Tessa woke up and looked at him, she looked around, and everyone had left. She got up and cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. She was sweeping the floor when he walked in. “Tessa — its three in the morning what are you doing?” he yawned. “Our house was a mess, the bathroom needed to be disinfected because there were dirty girls here and I made a breakfast casserole for breakfast,” she said still sweeping. He grabbed the dustpan and picked up the dirt. “Let's go to bed,” he kissed her and his hand ran up her side. She yawned and he laughed. “Let’s go to sleep.” They lay in bed talking about baby Luke and their baby. Tessa wanted a boy and Lucas was sure he would have a little girl. “I hope he or she looks just like you,” she kissed his nose. “Perfect.” “No baby, just like you. And she better damn well act like you cause if not, we are so screwed,” they both laughed. “Lucas you’re going to be such a good Dad,” she hugged him. “We’re going to be good parents together Tessa,” he said softly. “Forever,” she said and looked in his eyes. “No less,” he shook his head.
“Lucas I am happy I really am. I think we should tell people, screw the twelve weeks I want to share this with everyone we love,” she smiled. “Sounds good, are you sure?” he smiled back, “I’ve been ready to celebrate, I was waiting on you baby.” “Sorry, Lucas I just…” he kissed her. “I know Tessa, no more talking baby,” he groaned and they made love. *** She woke up two hours later with cramps. She cried out softly, and he woke up. “Are you okay?” “No, Lucas,” she cried. “It hurts.” Lucas sat up, and he flipped on the light, “Okay tell me what to do.” “Nothing it’s just cramps. Go back to sleep,” she got up to go to the bathroom. Lucas looked down and saw blood on the bed. He jumped up, and she looked at him, “Go back to bed Lucas, I’m sorry.” “Tessa baby, we need to go to the hospital.” “Lucas I’m fine, go to sleep,” she smiled and she flipped on the light and sat on the toilet. She looked down. “No, no no,” she said over and over. He grabbed clothes from her dresser and ran into the bathroom. They didn’t even have pad’s there. “Tessa,” he watched as tears fell down her cheek and she shook her head no. “Look at me.” She didn’t. He took her underwear off and put the new ones on. He handed her a washcloth. “Tessa I am going to see if Jade has any pads.” “No, don’t you leave me,” she cried and hugged him. “Okay Tessa,” he said and pulled her up and threw clothes on her, “We need to go, baby.” He picked her up and walked down the stairs. Jade was in the kitchen. “What’s going on?” she asked, “Tessa what’s wrong?” “I’m pregnant,” she said and cried. “I have a baby in my belly. I’m pregnant. Lucas!” Tessa buried her head in Lucas’s neck. “Jade do you have any pads?” he asked. “Yes, but...” she started. “GET ONE!” he yelled. Jade saw the pain in his eyes, and she ran and came back down. He was in the bathroom with her Jade handed it through the crack in the door. He set her down and started to pull down her pants. “I’ve got it,” Tessa snapped. He stepped back and looked at her she pulled her pants back up and looked at him. “I’m so sorry Lucas,” she said, “I didn’t mean to...” He kissed her, “Let’s go baby, Jade we will be back later, no one knows about this okay?” *** They waited in the room for the doctor to come back. She had been taken down for an ultrasound, Lucas didn’t leave her side. “The results showed exactly what I thought, you have miscarried, I’m so sorry,” the ER doctor said softly. “There isn’t anything you can do?” Lucas asked looking at him as if it was his fault. “No, Mr. Links I’m sorry.”
Tessa softly cried, and Lucas hugged her, “Was it because we had sex? I mean does too much cause this to happen?” “No, not at all and the ultrasound showed that it was a tubal pregnancy, which means that this pregnancy would not have been viable,” He said. “We’re going to send you home with some pain medication for the cramping. You will bleed for a few days a week at most. You need to call your OBGYN later and make a follow- up appointment. They will check to see that everything has passed if it hasn’t you’ll need to have a procedure called a DNC to take care of the rest. I’m very sorry.” When he left the room, Lucas looked at Tessa, who was now sitting with her knees to her chest rocking back and forth with her head buried. He grabbed her shirt and gently put it over her head. He looked at her eyes that were red and still shedding tears. He pulled the robe off of her arms and she put her arms in the shirt, still looking down. “Tessa, please look at me,” he whispered. She wrapped her arms around him, and they both cried. “I love you.” “I’m so sorry,” she cried, “Lucas I am so, so, sorry.” He pulled back and looked at her. “You didn’t do this Tessa, God baby, don’t you pull away from me,” he held her tighter. The nurse walked in and gave her discharge papers and instructions. Tessa didn’t even look at her. Lucas asked questions and took the paperwork. She gave her pain medication, and they left. They walked in the house, and Jade and Ryan looked at them. Tessa looked at the floor, and Lucas explained what had happened. Jade hugged Tessa and asked her what she could do. “Nothing Jade, I’ll get through this,” she looked at Lucas nervously, “Right? We’ll get through this, won’t we?” “Of course Tessa, this… Tessa remember this,” he kissed her ring. “I made breakfast it just has to go in the oven for forty- five minutes,” Tessa walked towards the kitchen. She stopped when she heard baby Luke cry. She touched her belly and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Tessa,” Jade went to get him. “No,” Tessa said, “Don’t you be sorry. Jade, please don’t you be sorry.” “Okay Tessa,” she hugged her. “Okay, come with me?” “Yes,” Tessa nodded Lucas closed his eyes, and Ryan gave him a quick hug, “You okay man?” “I’ll be fine, I just don’t know what to expect out of her.” They walked in the living room and Tessa and Jade were on the couch making silly faces at Lukie. Luke smiled at Tessa. “He smiled at you, Ryan he smiled,” Jade laughed. “Tessa, that was a first.” “He probably has gas Jade.” “Oh right, do it again,” Tessa made the same face and noise and he smiled again. “See he loves you, don’t you buddy? You love Auntie Tessa.” Lucas watched Tessa look at the baby, and her smile wasn’t forced, it was genuine. She loved that little guy. He sat next to her, and she stiffened up. He took a deep breath. She knew she had upset him. She turned and finally looked at him. “Lucas, I love you.” “I love you,” he hugged her. “I’m getting tired,” she said, “I’m sorry.” “They gave you medication that will make you tired, don’t apologize, please,” he said. “Okay,” she said. “He is perfect Jade.” “You need to go lay down Tessa,” Jade smiled sadly.
“Okay.” *** She woke up in bed and went to the bathroom. Gross, she thought. She ran down the stairs, and Lucas was sitting at the counter with his hands in his hair. She hugged him from behind, and he jumped, “Shit Tessa, you scared me,” he reached back rubbed her head. “What do you want to do today?” She asked and walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a soda. She turned around and saw him giving her a questioning look. She smiled and jumped on his lap. “You want to hang out here?” she kissed him. “Slow down,” he rubbed his hand down her cheek. “Oh… okay,” she stepped off him. “Sit Tessa, we need to talk.” Her eyes widened, and she sat down. He grabbed the paperwork and explained everything that she had missed when she tuned out the discharge nurse. The fact that sex was a no go for awhile and that she may need to have a procedure got the biggest reaction. “Okay, I get it,” she said, “Lucas can we please get out of here and do something?” “What would you like to do?” “Something fun, I don’t want to sit here and be sad. I don’t want you or I to overanalyze what happened or try to tiptoe around each others hurt feelings. It sucks really badly. But I want us to be okay, I love you, and if I can’t have my way with you for awhile, I need to keep busy somehow,” she blushed. He smiled, “You're full of it Tessa. You don’t want to go anywhere, you’re in pain, and you’re sad and you’re just trying to make this better for me.” “Lucas, I am trying to make it better for both of us,” she looked down. “Okay, I get it, but your body is in the process of miscarrying our child.” He said with hurt in his voice. “The doctor wants you to relax for awhile and then after your doctor says it’s alright then we can go crazy on each other every day for the rest of our lives.” “Fine then,” she crossed her arms. “Shall we sit and cry?” “If that’s what you want to do,” Lucas hugged her. “I want to escape,” she said quietly. “We should go get some really stupid movies and a whole bunch of junk food.” “You're being such a girl,” she smiled. “Am I?” he picked her up and spun her. “Ouch,” she laughed. “Oh, sorry baby,” he said gently putting her down. “It’s no big deal,” she laughed. “You ready for your medication?” “No, I can handle this,” she said. “Can we go buy some board games?” “You mean like monopoly?” “I was thinking scrabble.” “Tessa — I will kick your ass,” he laughed. “We shall see,” she smirked “Okay, I can go,” he said and kissed her, “You stay here and relax.” “No, I want to be with you,” she closed her eyes. “Alright then,” he smiled. ***
They sat at the coffee table and Tessa giggled, “I really am sorry about all this.” “All of what, Baby?” “All this ass kicking you’re going to get,” Tessa smiled, looking at her scrabble pieces. “Oh Baby, you know I love you right?” “You better,” Tessa smirked at him. “You go first,” he pointed to the board. Tessa laid down her first word. “Baby what kind of word is that?” Lucas laughed. “Urination is a word Lucas,” Tessa raised her eyebrows and he laughed. After an hour, Lucas was behind. Tessa was killing him, her words Buggery was one he objected to until she showed him in the dictionary what it meant and his dirty little mind shown through his deep dark green eyes. “Not going to happen,” Tessa smacked him in his shoulder. “Baby, I thought you were a good girl,” Lucas laughed as he looked at the board. Smegma, copulate anus, asshole, fellate, fellated, fellatio all Tessa’s words. “I am a good girl Lucas. I just kicked your ass too,” Tessa laughed. “Nah, I got one more,” he grinned. “C. U. N…” Lucas laughed loudly when she cleared the board. “That’s a nasty, nasty word Lucas,” Tessa laughed. “I like this game,” he chuckled. “Dirty Scrabble champ,” Tessa raised her hands in the air victoriously as he clapped and whistled. “Baby, we can’t play that again for awhile.” They spent the next four days together, talking and still playing scrabble and other games when he got too worked up. *** Lucas was going to work with Ryan for the next two weeks before classes began. She had signed up for classes and was going to take a C N A class so that she could work. Lucas was not happy about her decision to work but understood there was no fighting with her about it. They planned to go to Mexico in the summer and had decided to go visit Troy on spring break. They went to the doctors together, and everything looked fine. She decided the birth control shot was her best option and Lucas thought that was not a good idea. He wanted to try again, but she convinced him that they should wait until he was done with school. He agreed but only if they could get married in the winter before his last semester of school and that she go off of birth control then. He agreed… for now.
CHAPTER TEN On Valentine's Day, she woke him. It had been six weeks, and she wanted him almost as much as he wanted her. The beauty of the shot was that she wouldn’t get her period only once every three months. His eyes opened when he felt her under the covers. “Good morning Tessa, get up here,” he pulled her up towards him. “I’m not done with you,” she laughed. He kissed her and they slowly began exploring each other. She was scared, and he was very gentle. It didn’t hurt like she was afraid it would. It felt great. He had classes until two and wanted to go out to dinner that night. When he got home, she met him at the door in a deep red outfit and had made a picnic. “I thought we were going out,” he handed her flowers, yellow roses, and white daisies. “I thought we should stay in.” “Are you sure you’re up to this?” She laughed, “Yes, I am.” “Good,” he lifted her up. When they were finished, Tessa went to the bathroom. Lucas ran downstairs to get a drink, and her phone rang on the counter He answered it. “Hello Lucas, it’s Ben.” “Okay — what’s up,” Lucas asked. “Well, Tessa messaged me earlier to tell me that what happened. I wanted to know that she was alright and to tell you both that I was sorry.” Tessa came downstairs in one of his t- shirts. “Thanks, here she is,” he handed the phone to her. “Who is it?” she asked. “Your friend,” he said coldly and walked in the other room. “Hello?” she said not knowing who it was. “Hey, Tess I just got your message, are you alright?” Ben asked. “Ya, I’m fine,” her voice cracked. She hadn’t talked to him in a few months. “I just wanted you to know.” “Okay, is there anything I can do for you?” he asked sincerely. “No,” she said quietly. “Alright then, Happy Valentine’s Day.” “You too Ben, thanks for calling.” “Are you sure Tess?” “Yes, I am,” she said and tears poured down her face. “Don’t cry.” “Okay,” Ben gave her a few minute to calm herself down. “How’s married life?” “Well…we aren’t married yet,” she smiled. “Good to hear,” he said with a smile in his voice. “But it’s been good, he has been amazing.” “Not so good to hear,” he laughed. “But I’m glad you’re happy, I really am.”
“Are you Ben?” “Always Tess, girl you know that,” he said being silly. “Okay, I’m glad so… I’ll talk to you soon?” “Whenever you need me.” She hung up and walked into the living room. Lucas was sitting on the couch and was clearly annoyed. “Hey Lucas,” she sat next to him. “Are you mad at me?” “I just don’t know why you had to call him.” “I just wanted him to know. Lucas he was the only other person who knew,” she said softly. “Why today?” “I don’t know, I guess the thought never crossed my mind until now. And I didn’t call him, I sent him a message,” she said defending herself. “Interesting,” he stood up. “I’m tired, we both have early classes tomorrow, and I’m going to bed.” She cleaned up the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of ice cream and sat in front of the TV. She ate until she was full, comforted, not feeling guilty and then, she fell asleep on the couch. “Tessa,” he said touching her head. She opened her eyes and looked confused. “It’s three in the morning, are you coming to bed?” “Yes,” she stood up. She took her bowl to the kitchen and went upstairs. “Lucas I love you, please don’t be mad at me.” “Goodnight Tessa,” he snuggled into her. He was in the shower when she woke, she brushed her teeth. “May I come in?” “Good morning,” he smiled, “yes, please do.” They got out and dried off. “Are you mad at me Lucas?” “No, I just don’t get it,” he admitted. “There’s nothing to get after you left yesterday I was happy. I got on my facebook account and checked my messages. He had sent one and I thought he should know. He was the only person that knew. I just thought he should know. I’m sorry” she looked down. “I hate Facebook Tessa, who else sends you messages?” She grabbed the laptop and went to sign in. “Okay, you can put in my password, I have nothing to hide from you,” she said and sat next to him. “Alright what is it?” “It's your name,” her face turned red, and he smiled. “And LYA.” “Love you anyway,” he smiled. “I love you.” “Forever?” “Nothing less.” “Okay, I trust you Tessa. I need to get to school so do you,” he kissed her. “I’ll be up there in our bed when you get home,” she said and touched his stomach. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, “Sounds good, baby.” *** The next few weeks had been busy. She was taking sixteen credits: three classes at school and one online. Tessa was working three days a week and one night every other weekend. Lucas was irritated by this but didn’t argue. He spent his evenings alone with the guys at their place. Tessa always made dinner
and munchies for them… the guys often played cards and drank. When she got home on those nights, she was usually tired and his friends normally stayed. He was always a bit rougher those nights, and normally she didn’t mind at all. She walked into a house full of people the week before Spring break. She had gotten out an hour early, not feeling well. Lucas was nowhere to be found. No one noticed she had walked in. The music was loud, and she was shocked to see some of Jenny’s friends there. She ran upstairs to their room and he was in the bathroom throwing up and Jenny was sitting on the edge of the garden tub laughing at him. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Hey baby,” he said laughing. “I think I drank too much.” He and Jenny both laughed. “You need to leave,” Tessa said to Jenny. “I don’t think that’s up to you,” Jenny laughed. “She has drunk a lot too baby, I don’t think she should drive,” he stood up, stumbled, and brushed his teeth. She looked at him and walked out. He followed her. “You pissed?” “That’s an understatement, Genius!” she walked into the closet and grabbed some clothes. “Tessa it’s been months… I got over you messaging Benny boy I think you can deal with this,” he tried to hug her. “No, it’s not the same thing,” she walked passed him. “Get the fuck out of my bedroom — bitch!” she yelled at Jenny. “Tessa, come on…” Lucas said. “It’s alright Link’s I can go. Oh, by the way, Tessa you look nice in those scrubs, kind of hide’s the fact that you’ve grown in the past couple months,” she cackled as she walked out the door. Jose walked in the room, “Did I miss the party?” Lucas was laughing, and Tessa’s eyes filled with tears. Jose hugged her, “What are you doing man?” he asked Lucas. “Having a good time, but I guess it’s not allowed,” he sneered and pointed at Tessa. “No, what’s not allowed is her being in my house, and my bedroom,” she yelled at him. “Whose house, Tessa?” Lucas asked and walked out. “Hey girl, I’ll get her out of here,” he said. “You get yourself together, that bitch will feed on this.” “Thanks, Jose,” she said and walked into the bathroom. She got on the scales and was shocked to see she had gained twenty- two pounds. She looked in the mirror and cried. She took a deep breath and showered. How could she not have noticed? How do you go from one hundred and twenty pounds to one hundred and forty- two without even noticing? She grabbed her robe and got dressed. She needed to get out of there. She threw some stuff in a bag and Jose walked in helping Lucas to bed. Lucas laughed and smiled a sloppy drunk; I’m trying to be sexy smile, “Coming to bed baby? I got something for you.” “Not a chance,” she muttered, and he passed out. “Tessa all the girls are gone, I got them home,” Jose said. “Where are you going girl, you can’t leave like this.” “I can’t stay here, I’m going home. Thank you, Jose,” she hugged him. “Tessa just stay for a while and calm down girl.” “I’ll call when I get there, Jose. I just can’t stay here. After all, it’s not my house,” she said and walked out the door.
*** She walked in the farm house, and Chewy jumped on her. She pet him and lay on the couch. Everything came crashing down. Toby had been gone a year, her baby, Tommy… Ben…. Lucas. She couldn’t stand it. She fell asleep as she softly cried. She woke up and went upstairs and she got into bed and fell back to sleep with Chewy on her feet. Her mother came upstairs. “Tessa honey, is everything alright?” “Yes, I just missed you guys. Can we talk in a little bit? I’m so tired.” Her phone chimed: - Tessa I just woke up, you’re not here. I feel like shit I hope everything is alright, answer your phone!.. LL - I’m home you know my home, maybe you should call your friend Jenny and have her come over… T - Call me damn it!... LL - No… Tessa - alright I’m coming there… LL His phone rang. “No, don’t come here, I don’t want to see you!” she yelled at him. “Tessa what happened last night?” He asked and was either a great actor or truly didn’t remember. “How often does she come to YOUR house?” she asked. “Jenny? Baby she doesn’t, well until last night. I didn’t know Miles called her, sorry alright?” “And I’m supposed to believe you?” she yelled. “Yeah, it’s the fucking truth,” he yelled back. “You need to tell me what happened, because I have no idea!” “I came home you were in your bathroom on the floor throwing up in the toilet and she was in there laughing and having a great time with your happy ass, Lucas. I told her get out, you said she could stay. As she left, she nicely pointed out how fucking fat I’ve gotten and by the way thanks for pointing that out to me asshole! Jose came and cleared out the trash, and I left. Did you catch that Lucas or do I need to slow it down, oh and when I told her to get out of our house you reminded me it was YOURS. So I’m home right now… I’m home!” “Tessa this is your home, too. Come home so we can talk, please,” Lucas pleaded. “No! God Lucas, I believed you when you promised you would never hurt me again, what did I do to deserve this?! WHAT DID I DO! Fuck it…goodbye,” she said and hung up. Her phone chimed - I’m coming to you…. LL - You better not Lucas! I won’t be here… T - Where are you going baby?... LL - that is no longer any of your concern… T She walked downstairs, and her Mom was sitting at the table. “Tessa I know you have a lot going on right now, but we need to talk about this,” she said and pushed the envelope towards her. It was insurance paperwork that showed her emergency room visit New Years day. Tessa cried.
“Mom I’m sorry,” Maggie hugged her. “I was going to tell you but not for a couple more weeks and then that happened, and I just didn’t want to go through it again.” “Alright honey, but don’t keep stuff this important from me again,” Maggie hugged her; “I’m so sorry honey.” Maggie’s phone chimed it was Lucas - sorry to bother you but Tessa is very upset with me. I want to know that she is alright and would like to come see her… Lucas - she is right here with me Lucas, she’s fine, I would give her a day or two… Maggie - Alright then, thank you… Lucas The next morning Maggie dropped her off at the airport. “Are you sure about this?” she asked. “Yes. Troy thinks we’re coming, and I want to get away,” Tessa hugged her. “Let me know when you land,” Maggie kissed her cheek. Tessa checked in and she had been upgraded to first class, the airline had overbooked economy. She hated to fly, and her mom had given her medication to help calm her. She was first on the plane, sat next to the window, and put her headphones in her ears. She took a blanket, covered herself, and drifted off. The plane was beginning take off and she felt someone grab her hand gently. She turned and Lucas was sitting next to her. She took her hand away and looked at him. Her eyes filled up, and she fell back to sleep. She woke lying against his chest, he smelled amazing. She was still hurt, but he had forgiven her about Ben and she was sober when that happened. She looked up at him. “I’m sorry baby,” he whispered. “Forgiven,” she said, “But I don’t want her there ever again, and if she tries to contact you, I want to know.” “I love you,” he kissed her. “Mom gave me something to help me relax on the plane,” she explained. “I can tell, you still going to like me when we land?” “Sure, maybe, I don’t know,” she said, “I have to go to the bathroom.” “Let me help you,” he smiled and whispered in her ear, “Mile high club baby?” “NO!” she snapped. They picked up the rental and Lucas drove to Troy’s. It was nice. Troy met them outside. She hugged him, and he showed them the room they would share for the next five nights, one of the roommates was out of town. She was out of her fog, and he could tell. She was very distant from him and avoiding eye contact. “Can we go for a walk?” “I’d rather not.” “Alright,” he said.” I am going to go out and hang out at the pool with your cousin,” he said and kissed her head. “Come down when you’re ready?” She tried on every bathing suit she had packed and they all showed her weight gain that Jenny so nicely pointed out. She threw on a tank top and shorts and walked out. Troy and Lucas sat at the table and were surrounded by girls in string bikinis. She walked back in, hoping to not be seen. Lucas walked into the house, “What are you doing?” “Nothing,” she said and headed towards their room. “Okay baby, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t know they were coming, and I don’t know what the hell possessed me to act that way. Our home is ours Tessa, ours. And as far as what she said to you, she’s an
asshole. You’re perfect, now get your fine ass in a suit and come hang out.” “Lucas you can’t get drunk anymore, please,” she said and closed her eyes. “Okay, not without you, is that a deal?” “Yes,” he immediately hugged her tightly. He rubbed her side and she pulled away. “As far as all this goes I have gained twenty pounds, I am certainly not going out there in any of these bathing suits and standing next to any of them. And why didn’t you tell me I was getting fat?” “Tessa you’re not fat, you were pregnant, and then you ate ice cream,” he laughed, “Every night.” Tessa looked down. “We can get rid of it,” he smiled, “But it doesn’t matter, I kind of like you having an ass.” Lucas grabbed her bottom and gently rubbed it. “Yeah, but the love handles, how do you really feel about them, truth,” she pulled away from him. “Tessa,” he was searching, reaching. “It’s part of getting older right?” “Yeah, but not four months older,” she snapped. “I love you. Besides you will lose it, but that ass Tessa, I want it,” he looked at her his eyes started to glaze. “No thank you,” she gasped. He grabbed her suit and took her clothes off. She looked down and tears formed in her eyes. “Please don’t look at me,” she covered herself. “Oh no, you don’t, baby,” he pushed her on the bed and went down. He shoved her knees apart and buried his head between her legs, and licked her savagely from front to back, “Nothings changed Baby, not one fucking thing.” He pushed his finger inside her, curling it up and hitting her g spot as he circled her clit with his tongue and then sucked as he moaned against her. She was unable to move. He immediately brought her there. As she cried out, he sat up, sat back on his heels and pulled her down, pounding into her until he couldn’t take it anymore. He thumbed her clit until she trembled and cried out even louder this time and he joined shortly after. “Sorry, that was a bit quick,” he shook his head in confusion. “It was perfect,” she panted as she sat up. She went to the bathroom and walked out. He still looked confused. “Lucas, really?” She giggled. “Alright,” he shook his head. He hugged her. “So can we go out now?” “You can… I’m going shopping to find something to cover up my body.” She mumbled and dressed quickly and out of view. “I want to come,” he threw his shorts back on. “No, this is going to be bad enough as it is.” Tessa looked up and smiled, “Thank you.” He smirked, “Anytime Baby.” They walked out to the pool. “You guys have been in there awhile were you banging my cousin?” Troy laughed. “No, Troy. Your cousin was banging him,” Tessa laughed and so did Lucas, “and now I need to go shopping.” Tessa looked around at all the bikinis, and then looked back at Lucas. “You can come with me if you want to,” Tessa scowled. He smiled, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” They went shopping, and she tried on suits. He liked the smaller ones that showed her new curves,
and she told him she wanted a freaking wetsuit. “How about you buy one you feel comfortable in and one of those lacey cover up and wear the blue and the black ones you have back at Troy’s for me?” he suggested. She shook her head and smiled, “I love you.” “I love you baby, and this has been torture, please let's go back — I want a do over,” he blushed. ***. That night they sat at the pool and watched as a group of women did some dance exercise class. Tessa walked over to them as they packed up and she talked to the woman leading the group for awhile and came back smiling. “What are you doing?” he asked “I am going to do Zumba at night with them,” she laughed. “Can I watch?” “Anytime,” she kissed him, “But eyes on me.” “Of course,” he kissed her back. “You two are disturbing,” Troy laughed. “Do you really still like each other still?” “Why don’t you try dating someone who doesn’t throw themselves at you,” Tessa laughed at him. “Dating?” Troy asked. Lucas laughed. He understood what Troy was saying. “I get it man, foreign concept. I never chased anyone, and then this one well; she wasn’t into me for awhile. Easy is easily forgotten. She has never been easy.” “Alright then, the instructor out there hates me,” Troy laughed.” What do you say Tessa… you want to help me out?” Lucas laughed knowing how she would react. “No way, you want it, you figure it out. I’ll tell you that you may want to get rid of the harem, that may help.” The first night of Zumba Tessa had so much fun she danced her butt off. Lucas, Troy, and the other guys sat in chairs on the patio and watched. Tessa looked back at Lucas periodically and he just sat uncomfortably watching her with his jaw clenched and nostril flaring. She walked up the stairs wiping sweat from her head and smirked at him. “That is so hot,” he picked her up, kissed her hard on the mouth, and threw her into the pool and dove in after her. “I want to fuck you right here Baby, nail your ass against the wall,” Lucas growled in her ear as he pulled her to the opposite side of the pool. “Lucas,” Tessa looked around at the guys standing around the pool smiling, “We’re not alone.” Lucas sat on the steps and pulled her onto his lap, “Don’t make a sound and they’ll never know.” “I can't Lu… aw damn!” Lucas's finger pushed up her shorts and into her, “Stay still baby,” he pushed another finger into her and curled his fingers hitting her g spot. “Stop, oh stop,” she started closing her eyes. “Keep them open and don’t you dare move baby,” his fingers continue moving in her as she held herself together. He watched as her eyes rolled slightly back and she reached down and pulled his throbbing rock hard cock from his pants. She pulled forward, “Move your fingers.” “Baby you gonna fuck me right here?” “You started it,” she whimpered as his fingers moved faster. A loud splash stopped them both, “Stay in front of me Baby, real fucking close.”
She got out and went inside he followed very closely behind. He helped her take her wet clothes off, and he pushed her on the bed as she laughed. When they finished, they went back outside holding hands and smiling at each other. Troy shook his head, “So not fair, I sent mine away and you two… so not fair.” “I think you guys should join us, maybe you could practice tomorrow up here while the class is going on,” she laughed. *** The next morning she had downloaded the dance songs and was out on the patio at six in the morning dancing. Troy tapped her on the shoulder. “Would you help me out, I want to impress her,” he smiled. Tessa plugged the iPod into the base and they practiced. She laughed as Troy fumbled through the steps. They were both sweating terrible, and he wouldn’t stop until he thought he knew the steps. Lucas walked into the dining area and saw the two roommates looking out the window. “Damn, I want to do that,” one laughed. “Me first… look at those…” the other chimed in. “Do what?” Lucas said as he walked up behind them and looked out the window. He saw Tessa and Troy dancing, and she looked amazing, laughing and singing as she instructed Troy, who was completely fumbling. “You were talking about the dancing, right man?” Lucas sneered. “Yeah, the dancing,” they laughed. Lucas went in the kitchen and got a drink of water and sat at the bar watching her. He was angry. He grabbed two bottles of water and brought them out. “You two look thirsty,” he handed them the water. “How long have you been out here Tessa?” “Since six why?” she laughed as she took a drink. “You do realize it's eight o’clock right?” Lucas asked. She and Troy laughed. “I am going to take a shower and make breakfast,” she kissed Lucas and then walked into the house. “Hello Tessa,” the roommates both said as she walked in the door. “Good morning,” she walked past them.
CHAPTER ELEVEN They were going parasailing today. One of Troy’s roommates hooked them up with a guy he knew. Tessa was getting dressed when Lucas walked into the room. “Why don’t you wear a new one?” he suggested. “Oh,” she grabbed it out of the drawer. She was right he thought she looked fat in the others. He saw that she trying to mask her hurt feelings and immediately realized how she must have taken his recommendation. “Baby when I walked out this morning they were watching you. One of the idiots said that they wanted to do you and I overheard it. That’s why, no other reason, just that you’re mine, and I can’t kick his ass since we’re staying at their place.” “You know I’ve never been insecure about my weight and this sucks. I get it no big deal.” She hugged him. “What did you say to them?” “I mentioned he must be talking about dancing and not you, they agreed and laughed when I walked away. I know exactly what he was thinking, and it pisses me off.” “Do you know what I’m thinking?” She asked he shook his head no, “That I don’t care what anyone thinks but you.” *** They had a great time, Lucas was aware that Troy’s roommates were gawking at her. Tessa was aware that he was aware. She kept her attention completely on him the whole day. She fed him lunch sitting on his lap watched as he possessively held her hand the whole time, and enjoyed it just a little bit that he was feeling what she feels all the damn time. *** Zumba was fun, and the instructor laughed when she noticed the guys following along. “You tell them they owe me a drink tonight if they are going to try to take my class for free, which one is yours?” she asked. “The one who looks like if I don’t get over there he may explode, and my cousin Troy is the tall one in the black shorts, he’s a little into you.” They laughed. “So much that I had to teach him some moves, two hours’ worth this morning so he could impress you but don’t tell him I told you.” “Well, I think you should bring him along, next time,” she laughed. They exchanged numbers. “I will text you in an hour meet me out?” she asked. “Sounds good,” Tessa walked towards the house. “That was hot; I wonder if they would like each other?” Pier asked Mitchell. “I wonder if you would like my fucking fist in your face,” Lucas said and as she walked up the stairs. “Hey Lucas, I need a shower, and I heard you say my favorite word,” She jumped on his back. “Take me, please.” He didn’t move. She reached her arm around and rubbed his belly and lightly bit his ear. “Now,” she said softly in his ear. “Not fucking cool assholes,” Troy snapped to his roommates, “They’re my guests, cut the shit.” “Hey, Troy you need to take a shower, the three of us are going out in about an hour,” she yelled over
her shoulder. “Where are we going, baby?” Lucas said as he took his clothes off and started the shower. “Carmen wants us to meet her for drinks,” she said quickly taking her clothes off and getting in. They kissed, and he showed her some moves of his own in the shower. Moves that continued when they left the shower. He was chewing on her neck, when he picked her up and headed for bed. “You're a maniac,” she laughed. “And I like it!” *** They walked in, and Troy shook his head and Tessa laughed. Lucas looked around, and there were not many females at the bar. Good, he thought. She won’t have a chance to get mad at me. “You boys have been taking my class for free, huh?” Carmen said as she walked up to them. “You owe me drinks, and then you can show me your moves,” Carmen looked at Troy. Tessa had never seen him blush, Troy was clearly uncomfortable Troy asked her what she was drinking and ordered a round. They followed her to her table and sat. Troy couldn’t even look at her. He handed Lucas and Tessa a drink. “Cheers,” Tessa said, and she drank. “Wow, what is this?” “It’s a margarita baby… tequila, slow down,” Lucas laughed and kissed her. A familiar song came on, and Tessa grabbed Carmen’s hand, and they went to the dance floor. “Get me another one of those Lucas, I like them” she laughed as she and Carmen ran to the dance floor. They danced and shook their asses off. “I don’t like it here, look at all of these guys checking them out,” Lucas said. Troy laughed, “They aren’t checking them out man — this is a gay bar.” “Are you serious?” he gasped. “Does it bother you?” he asked. Lucas shook his head no.” It’s actually a cool place to take a date, no one else is going to hit on them, and usually the hot chicks hang out here when they want to have fun. They don’t have to worry about getting hit on.” Carmen grabbed Troy’s hand, “Let me see what you’ve learned.” “You may want to wait until one of your dance tunes comes on, or I may hurt myself or someone else,” he laughed. Tessa was at the DJ booth she walked back to the guys, and she grabbed a drink. She slammed it. “Tessa,” Lucas scolded, and she took his and did the same and stuck her tongue out at him. She heard the song she had requested, and the four of went out and danced. Troy nailed it, and Lucas was too distracted by Tessa. “No hands, hot stuff,” Tessa laughed pushing his hands from her ass. “I want another drink! Tessa jumped on him, and his hands started to wonder again. “Let’s do it right here,” she whispered in his ear. “Tessa baby… don’t say that,” he moaned. “Bathroom?” “You’re bad.” “I want to be real bad,” she jumped down and stood with her back to him and bent down. He stood frozen, and she turned around. “Not here baby,” he rubbed his hand down her back and closed his eyes. Lucas grabbed her hand and pulled her to the back of the bar. He looked around quickly surveying the area. He pulled her into the empty girl’s bathroom and locked the door.
“You wanna fuck me here, Baby?” Lucas’s eyes were dark and his chest rose and fell rapidly as he looked her up and down slowly. Tessa’s jaw dropped and she shook her head yes. “Hands on the wall, Baby,” he turned her quickly so she faced the wall and lifted her skirt, “Fucking underwear,” he growled and he tore them off of her. Tessa didn’t have time to say a word; his hand was between her legs spreading her. His finger rubbed her clit as another rammed into her and she gasped loudly. He watched as Tessa pushed herself back into him and forward. She was wet and moaning, he gripped her ass tightly. She pushed into his hand harder and whimpered. His free hand grabbed her hip and pushed her forwards slightly and then pulled her back hard, “That’s it baby just like that, fuck my fingers — harder....” “More…you — I want you…please,” she cried out. Lucas unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, “Hard and fast Baby?” his fingers thrust in and out of her mimicking his words “PLEASE…” Tessa yelled out. He pushed harshly into her and she screamed out, “Yes.” He felt her knees begin to buckle as she came loudly. He grabbed her around the waist steadying her with one hand and pulling at her nipples with the other until he filled her. He turned her around facing him, grabbing the back of her head he pulled her against him as his mouth covered hers and his tongue licked the taste of lime from hers. He pulled back still trying to catch his breath, “I think I like drunk Tessa,” his lips twisted up slightly. Tessa was still panting and she laughed as she leaned against the wall, “I think drunk Tessa likes you.” “You gotta mess in there baby, I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life,” his smile broadened. Tessa smiled and walked into an empty stall. Tessa and Lucas walked out of the bathroom hand in hand smiling at each other. She looked towards the bar and saw Miles dancing with his tutor, oh no, she thought. Their eyes met, and he gasped. She looked away. Lucas went to get them a drink, he asked the bartender to make hers without tequila, he saw Miles at the end of the bar and walked over to him. “Hey, Miles what’s up?” “I’m sure she has already told you,” he said pointing to Tessa. “Told me what?” he asked as Tessa approached them. She looked at him and shook her head no. Lucas noticed the exchange. “What the hell is going on?” “Nothing, I was waiting for my drink,” she said and kissed him. “Whatever Tessa,” Lucas hissed and started to walk away. “Links wait,” Miles said. “What,” he snapped. “Dude I’m here with a friend, my tutor,” he looked down. “Sorry, but I really don’t know what this has to do with Tessa.” “Links this is Tony, he’s my boyfriend,” Miles said, “Tony this is Lucas Links.” They shook hands. “Does Jenny know?” he asked. “Yes, and apparently Tessa here figured it out,” Miles said. “Did you know?” he asked. “Um kind of,” she said and looked down. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Not my story to tell.” “Thank you, Tessa,” Miles hugged her.
“You can thank me by keeping that whore away from my fiancée,'“ she scowled. “I can’t control her, Tessa,” he said “She, and I have had an agreement since high school. She gets the perks of dating me and I get her faking the girlfriend thing. As soon as I can, I’ll come out, but I’m good at one thing, and it’s one of the few things I love.” “Are you taking her with you?” “I’m not sure — she seems to want to stay here,” he said and looked down. “For Lucas?” “I don’t know why, Tessa,” Miles said. “Well, I do,” she stormed away. Miles walked up to her, “Dance with me?” They danced and talked. “She’s a hot head Tessa, the harder you push, the harder she’s going to come after him. I wish I could do something about it, but I really don’t know what to do.” Someone with a camera came in and was taking photos. “Shit,” he said. “Oh, fuck …please don’t walk away,” he kissed her hard on the lips. She pulled away and looked for Lucas, he was storming over. “Come on Tessa, she’s not a toy,” he said to Miles and punched him in the face. Miles punched him back, Lucas laughed, “Is that all you got?” Lucas grabbed him, and they were on the ground. Tessa tried to pull Lucas off of him. Troy ran over and grabbed him, and Carmen grabbed her. They pulled them out the front door past the camera crew. Lucas said nothing to her, he was fuming. He stormed toward the curb and waited next to Troy. They took a cab back to Troy’s. Lucas stormed into the house and Tessa grabbed him. “You know I didn’t...” she started, and he kissed her and pulled away. “He didn’t stick his tongue in your mouth, did he?” “No,” she said, “I’m so sorry.” He laughed, “Tessa you did nothing wrong.” “I know I just...” he kissed her. “I am going to get you an ice pack.” “What’s this?” Carmon asked looking at the ON CALL list on Troy’s refrigerator. It was full of girl’s names and numbers. “It’s nothing,” Troy pulled it down. “You’re not a doctor,” Carmon said. “I know,” he said as she grabbed the list out of his hand. “What are the stars for?” “It’s not important,” he said. “Then rip it up,” she said and then started speaking Spanish and walking out the door. “It’s nothing,” Troy said and picked her up over his shoulder and threw the list in the fire pit. “It better not be,” she said. He kissed her she kissed him back. “Can you stay?” “Are you kidding me?” she asked laughing. “You can call me a cab.” “Okay, can I see you again?” “I’m NOT a girl that goes on some list, do you understand?” she said poking him in the chest. He shook his head yes. “I will see you at class tomorrow night.” “Of course, and you can teach me,” Troy kissed her again.
*** Troy knocked on the bedroom door and walked in. “Hey, you two,” Troy grumbled as he covered them. They were sprawled out on the bed sleeping. Tessa jumped up and grabbed a blanket. “My head,” Tessa cried out. “What’s up?” Lucas asked squinting. “You two are front page news here in Ft. Lauderdale,” Troy tossed the paper at them. “Good God… get dressed and come out.” Tessa read out loud as Lucas went to the bathroom. “Syracuse University Bad Boy, after a night of dancing at the Rooster club Links, SU’s back up QB punches star quarterback, Miles in the face, apparently over a girl who sources says lives with Links.” “You’ve got to be kidding me?” Lucas said after he spit toothpaste in the sink. “Miles long time girlfriend and SU senior has no comment at this time. Links and his girlfriend were seen leaving the club in a taxi.” Tessa read on. “They were unavailable for comment.” “This is just great.” “You should see the picture of you in here: you look hot,” she laughed. He walked out and grabbed the paper and lay beside her. “Look at you, his lips on yours,” he hissed “Let’s be realistic here shall we, I can assure you he would probably have liked them here instead,” she said and pulled the covers over her head. He laughed, “Do you know how hot you are?” “Mm hmm,” she mumbled. He laughed, “Do you remember what you offered up at the club last night?” She shook her head no, and he patted her butt. She bit down, and his eyes widened. “I’ll take this any day,” he laid back. Troy walked in, “You guys coming out? Oh — damn it!” he said slamming the door. Lucas laughed, “We really need to start locking doors.” *** “Seriously I burned my list last night, and now I have to have two nymphomaniacs in the house,” Troy said when they came into the dining room. Pierre walked in “Nice.” “You’re pushing it pal,” Lucas growled. “I wouldn’t if I were you, check out the front page,” Troy tossed it to him. “Wow, you play for SU?” he asked Lucas. He shook his head. “Nice any chance I could score some tickets?” Tessa laughed, and Lucas looked at her, “You should try to stop pissing him off, that might help your cause.” “Probably not,” Lucas laughed as he hugged Tessa. “I’m going to cook breakfast hot stuff,” Tessa stood and smacked Lucas’s ass as she walked by. “You cooking for me too?” Pierre asked “Probably not,” she looked at him like he was an idiot and he was. Lucas smiled. “You want breakfast in bed, Lucas?” she winked. ***
Lucas and Tessa went for a run on the beach. There were photographers snapping shots of them. She laughed and jumped on his back “The paparazzi are after us,” she whispered and laughed. “Pretend you don’t see them,” he ran into the water. He kissed her, and she kissed him dramatically. They got out of the water and laughing. He dropped to one knee and asked her to marry him, and she smiled and knelt down and hugged him. “Way cooler story to tell our future children, and now everyone will know,” he laughed and they stood up. They walked off the beach hand in hand. They were immediately surrounded by photographers and reporters. “Who do you choose?” they asked Tessa. “The better quarterback, of course,” she smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “How long have you known each other?” they asked. “Just met yesterday,” Lucas smiled. “What’s her name?” they asked. “It will be Mrs. Links soon enough,” he smiled. “What’s her name?” Another asked insistently. “That’s none of your business, excuse us please,” he said and tried to get through them, and they didn’t move. “You might want to move or I’ll bust my way through,” he said, and they didn’t listen he pulled her into him and pushed through. There was a patrol car a few feet away. “Excuse me officer can you help us out?” “Sure — they are a pain in the ass,” the officer said and stopped the reporters. He bent down “hop on baby.” Lucas ran the opposite way of Troy’s when he felt comfortable they made their way back. They laughed as they walked in the door. He had four messages one from Miles, one from Jose, one from the head coach and one from Jenny. “We have one night left here, could you save that for later?” She asked. “Actually we have two, and you and I are heading to the Keys. Perfect timing, huh?” he smiled. “When did you decide this?” “Are you mad?” he asked shocked. “No,” she said and raised her voice. He laughed, “Yes you are, why?” She laughed, “I don’t know? Do you want to have sex?” They both laughed. “What? I think I just figured you out Tessa,” he laughed. “Really, do you want to clue me in?” “You don’t really like sex that much you just use it to either fill in boredom or to mask an emotion or to..” she kissed him, and he pulled back. “Change the subject” he laughed and stood up. “I think we should talk today Tessa,” he laughed. “You just blew me off,” she stood up. “Does Troy know we are leaving? Or did you just want to leave because the idiot boys in the house are making you uncomfortable? Oh, oh my Lucas, I think I just figured you out.” He shook his head and walked into the bathroom. “Maybe you should have just taken me up on my offer so neither of us would be embarrassed right
now.” He walked out and threw her on the bed hard. She gasped. He kissed her, and she tried to push him off. He held her hands above her head and stopped kissing her so they could both breathe. “You okay?” her eyes widened and she shook her head yes. He pulled her up and flipped her over, kissing her neck until he was at her butt; he lightly bit it and worked his way lower. He pulled her hips up so that she was on her knees. He felt her and knew she was ready. He came up behind her with his head between her legs as she looked down at him he devoured her. Holy shit, she thought. She started to moan and felt herself on the edge. “Stay,” he stood on the bed and pushed himself into her mouth briefly. He jumped off the bed and gently pushed her down, and she was on all fours again. He pulled her to the edge of the bed and teasingly moved slowly into her not allowing her all of him. She was breathing hard. “Lucas.” “What baby.” “Please,” she cried softly. “Stay there,” he moved to the top of the bed. He looked angry as he stroked himself. “You want this baby?” he asked, she shook her head yes and started to move up the bed. “Stay,” he said raising his eyebrow and continued. “Turn around and face the other way, now. Move that sweet fucking ass back here on all fours baby,” she did as he instructed. He gently rubbed her from front to back, it felt good. “Lucas, please,” she hissed. “Not yet” he gently tugged at her and rubbed her. Then he lined himself up and slammed into her. She screamed, and he pushed her forward and slammed her into him again. This time he pulled her to sit on him and bounced her up and down until she couldn’t move anymore. He continued his thrusts until he finished ten minutes later. He grabbed her waist and lifted her up and carried her to the bathroom. She sat there breathless. He showered and got out and dressed. He helped her into the shower and gave her a stern look. “Yes I told Troy yesterday before I made plans, he may or may not join us, stop being so defiant,” he smirked, gave her a wink and walked out. He came back in with a glass of water and apple slices. She was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. “Baby you have Zumba in an hour,” he said, and she opened her eyes and saw how amused he was. “You are ridiculous,” she said quietly. He reached down and pulled her up and kissed her neck. “Want to go again?” “As if you could,” she laughed. He grabbed her hand and placed it against him. Her eyes widened. “No, I can't,” she said. He pulled his shirt off of her and started again. Softer, gentler, and longer than before. Troy tapped on the door, “Tessa — ten minutes till Carmen gets here.” She gasped. “Let’s get you ready,” he laughed. She sat up and softly yelled to Troy, “Just a minute.” She looked at him and blushed, “I love you and if I could kick your ass right now I would.” “Time to dance baby,” he stood up and did a few moves, and she laughed. ***
Tessa walked out just in time to start. Lucas stood in the back watching her, and Troy laughed the whole time. Carmen ordered them both back to the patio telling them they were being too distracting and not in a good way. When they finished, Tessa walked out into the ocean and lay in the water for awhile. Carmen walked out to meet her. “You okay?” Carmen asked. “I am exhausted” she laughed. “You can relax you don’t have to try to show me up every time” Carmen laughed. “Oh no, Lucas kicked my butt all day,” she sighed. “Oh nice,” Carmen smirked, “Did he have a list of girls, too?” “Oh yes, a dozen actually,” Tessa laughed. “And he changed?” “Yes, we’ve been together for awhile now, and even though we’ve been through a lot… I know he loves me, and I love him dearly. I’m so glad he was my first and will be my last” she smiled. “So what about your cousin? What should I do about that?” Carmen asked. “Be available, but make him bust his ass for you. He comes from a good family, a little crazy, but we are very close, he will be an amazing catch for whoever can give him a run for his money” she laughed. “We are going to the Keys for a couple days, Lucas asked Troy to join us you want to come?” “Oh no, I couldn't,” Carmen looked down. “Sure you could, come get a drink and then decide,” Tessa smiled. *** They walked into the resort, and Tessa was amazed. She had never been somewhere so beautiful. She smiled at Lucas and he kissed her head. They lay by the pool and just lounged for the day with Troy and Carmen. They would only be staying one night. They talked about family, faith, field hockey, and football. They ate dinner and danced. Troy slept on the couch which amused Tessa and Carmen. Lucas thought it was mean. Troy would have slept on it if the damn thing were on fire to impress her. The next morning they left, and Carmen and Tessa exchanged numbers and hugged. “I hope to see you again,” she whispered in her ear. Tessa and Lucas lay by the pool and lounged all morning. They hit the spa, and both got Mani Pedi’s and a couple’s massage. Tessa got waxed, and Lucas got tidied up very nicely. “I’m so lucky I don’t have football right now. Showers would be awkward,” Lucas looked down at the newly manscaped area.
CHAPTER TWELVE They flew to Syracuse. At the airport, people took pictures of them, and she was confused. He was angry. They held hands, and he held her against his chest while they waited for their bags. Neither said a word, didn’t smile, they barely breathed. They walked out and got in the SUV. The car ride home was quiet, they pulled in front of the townhouse jumped out and grabbed the bags and went into the house. His phone rang. “Here we go,” he grumbled She sat down and held his hand. His coach called and was coming over to help do some damage control. Lucas answered the door and Coach Brown, Miles, and Jenny walked in. “Hey, baby you want to come down?” he yelled up the stairs. Tessa walked down and saw Jenny and Miles. “Can I ask why the hell she is here?” she snapped at Coach Brown. “Miss you need to check that attitude. Link’s — control her.” “Yeah, that’s not going to happen” he laughed and held her hand. They led everyone into the dining room. “I don’t know what the hell happened in Florida with you two, but it’s caused a media circus,” Coach Brown grumbled. “Really you don’t know? Miles was at a gay bar with his tutor… he and I danced, he saw photographers come in and kissed me, Lucas socked him in the mouth, and he hit him back. My cousin broke up the fight. Does that work for you?” she asked. “Oh and Jenny is his fake girlfriend who really would like take my place with Lucas, she is actually borderline stalker material and I would appreciate her ass being put on a leash, now I am finished.” “Good, but I think you’re confused about Miles and Jenny,” Coach said. “I think you’re full of shit,” Tessa said. “And I think I want her out of my house.” “Well, I think you should give us a chance here,” he said. “Are you going to try to bullshit us because I have really liked having my fiancé’ all to myself and would…” she began. “Tessa,” Lucas said softly. She looked at him, and he looked nervous. “Come sit with me, please.” She sat next to him, and he held her hand. “I think we all know the story, and I’m sure no one here really cares about Miles sexual preference. The problem was the whole kissing my fiancée’ thing to make himself look good, it didn’t sit well with me” he said, “So what do we need to do?” “Well, a whole lot of local media want interviews. I want you boys to make nice, so this goes away. And you two need to stay together for a bit longer than the typical three months” he said looking between Tessa and Lucas. “That’ll make you look less like a villain Links, we don’t need that next year. Do you understand?” “I have a question — where does she fit in?” Tessa asked pointing to Jenny. “Jenny has Miles’ best interest at heart and she offered to do whatever it takes for us,” Coach Brown smiled at Jenny. “We had planned to have them go out to dinner to make up with each other until your lovely walk and the proposal was aired.” “Lucas, are we almost done here?” She whispered in his ear.
The doorbell rang, and it was dinner. Tessa shook her head, leaned back, and groaned loudly making sure her displeasure was heard. Miles apologized. Jenny didn’t. “Lucas, can I talk to you for a minute?” “Of course,” he said and excused himself. “Can this be done, I don’t want her here,” Tessa asked. He hugged her and smiled sweetly, “Let’s move this into the living room; if we fall asleep, they will have to leave.” They sat in the recliner to allow for the others to sit. Tessa looked at Coach Brown. “Can we be done with her now, –please?” He walked Jenny out and came back in. “Miss, do you understand that she could blow this school and Miles chances right out of the water?” he said scolding Tessa. “Do you understand that THAT is not my problem, but her obsession with Lucas is?” she snapped. “Alright — I’ll do what I can about that, you and Miles need to make nice,” he said to Lucas, “Right now Links, you’re a bad guy because you hit the star, you two can do an interview together and I’ll set it up. Tessa, can you try to control yourself?” “Did he seriously just ask me that?” she loudly said to Lucas. “With all due respect coach, she did nothing wrong, and she has sat on a lot of information. She didn’t even tell me. I don’t think it’s necessary to treat her like that.” “I apologize, so interview tomorrow at ten in the morning?” he said reading a message on his phone. “Yes,” they both said. *** Tessa got ready, walked out and fixed Lucas’s tie. “You can stay home,” he said coldly. “Nope.” “Tessa, I’ll be fine.” She grabbed his face, “I’m supposed to tell you when you’re being an ass, remember? Well… you’re being an ass. I want to be there with you.” He looked at her and scowled, “Fine.” She kissed him and smiled, “Good.” *** They walked in the studio, and Jenny stood against the wall. Tessa looked at Lucas, and he smiled. “Sorry,” he kissed her. “I should listen to you more often.” They sat in chairs on the small set, and the anchor introduced the story. He showed all the photos and read the headlines from the papers. “We had an in- depth conversation with a source close to you two. They said that it was your fiancée’ who was going after Miles and has since the team party at the end of the summer.” A picture of the Tessa pulling Miles out on the dance floor flashed across the screen. Lucas laughed, and Miles looked down. “Seriously man? Is this really news? Is this source Jenny, Miles’ girlfriend?” Lucas was red immediately. He started taking the microphone off. He looked at Tessa she was shaking her head no. “Baby, I don’t care what they think.”
She walked up and smiled. “I’m going to kick your butt after this Lucas,” she whispered. “This must be the girlfriend” the anchor laughed. “Hello,” she smiled. “He’s a little upset, but he isn’t that bad, actually he’s kind of wonderful.” “So you’re the one that is being called the villain here.” “I can take that,” she laughed, “I got the guy.” “So tell us your side,” he said. “That picture is real. I dragged Miles out to dance after his girlfriend made a comment I overheard about Lucas the hotty new quarterback. She and I chatted and thought we had made nice.” She laughed. “I guess not. We’ve had to deal with that for the entire season, we even broke up. But then we figured out her game” she said and smiled at him, “We are stronger now than ever. Check out this ring,” she smiled. “So Lucas, the bad boy here, asked me not to say anything to Miles. He wanted Miles to have a clear head when the scouts came and while playing for Syracuse. Miles sent us a message in Florida, and we met up at a dance club. He had seen Jenny acting weird and asked me to dance. Unfortunately, he asked me, and I told him the truth. I think Miles kissed me to make her jealous, and it worked, well on Lucas anyway.” She said looking down. “He was over last night and apologized, and we accepted his apology.’” She smiled at him, “Right Miles, we’re all good now?” He shook his head yes and smiled. “Lucas is a rock star on the field. He’s a selfless person, and I’m sure even Miles can attest to that. He’s a team player. He even puts the toilet seat down,” she laughed. “So SU fans don’t be alarmed, last season was really good, but my fine, fine boy here is going to make next season the best season yet. No pressure,” she smiled at Lucas. “Wow… well — I guess that clears things up” the anchor said. “You two have anything to say?” “I want to go on the record that I’m sorry, and it was completely out of character for me to act like that,” Miles said. “How about you, Lucas?” he asked. “Apology accepted. Now if you’ll excuse me, and if it’s alright with Tessa, I’m going to take her home and go all caveman on her,” he stood up and took their mic’s off she smiled and his arm over his shoulder and took off. They got in the car, and he looked at her. “Thank you,” he kissed her. “You’re the best, do you know that?” “I’m so glad you aren’t annoyed,” she sighed. *** They watched the interview on TV. “Look at us! All grown up and on TV,” she laughed. The door bell rang, and Lucas jumped up and answered the door. He brought in a basket of flowers. “It says they’re for you.” She opened the card and laughed, “It’s from Coach Brown, welcome to the team.” Coach Brown took care of the Jenny issue, she wasn’t sure how… but she was SO thankful *** She woke up, and Lucas was in the shower, she didn’t ask anymore if she could join him it was just something she did. She liked when he washed her hair but what followed she loved.
“Do you think we could go to Jade and Ryan’s today?” He looked at her and smiled softly, “Of Course.” They drove quietly, and she held his hand. It had been a year since the accident and Little Luke was five months old. “Should we stop and get flowers?” she asked. “Or would that be too much?” “Why don’t we grab some stuff to make lunch, could you text them and let them know?” Ryan opened the door, and they walked in Jade’s eyes were red. “Thanks for stopping over,” Ryan said. Tessa hugged Jade, “Where is that little man?” “He’s sleeping, we had a long night, he’s gotten teeth,” she touched her breast, “Ouch.” *** Tessa and Jade made lunch and Ryan walked in, “The Lane’s called and want to stop over. I told them it was alright.” “Of course,” Jade said, “Thank God you cook for an army.” Lucas walked out holding baby Lukie. “Say Hi to Aunt Tessa.” She took a deep breath and stared at him, she smiled it had been far too long, she thought. She didn’t think it would sting, but it did. He saw her eyes and knew she was hurting. He kissed her, and she smiled. “Come here little chunk- a- munk,” she smiled. “We saw you two on TV,” Ryan laughed. “Yeah, thank God Tessa stepped up,” Lucas laughed. “I’m not sure what I would’ve done.” She walked around chatting with baby as he smiled and cooed. She saw his teeth and smiled. “You have baby buckies” she laughed. Jade watched them, and she felt very sad for Tessa. “How are you doing?” she asked quietly. “Good, but how are you today?” Tessa asked. “It’s been a year Tessa, I can’t believe it’s been a year,” Jade said quietly. Tessa held her hand and remembered how much things had changed since that day. The pain, the anger, the tears. Looking at baby Luke lessened the hurt but didn’t take away the memories. Tessa knew for Jade it had to be ten times as emotional she felt. Things between the Lane’s had gotten better — they had eased up. Ryan and Jade had them over once every two weeks for lunch. They knew Jade and Ryan were great with their grandchild. After lunch, Lucas and Tessa left so that Jade and Ryan could be alone with the Lane’s. “Lucas do you want to go to the cemetery?” She asked as they walked to the SUV. “I do,” he squeezed her hand. They stood and looked at the stone without saying a word. Tessa wrapped her arm around his waist. “Do you want to say something to him?” “Like what?” he rolled his eyes. “Hey Tommy… we just visited your son, you’ll be happy to know Jade named him Luke. He’s beautiful and looks just like you. He has two new teeth and is very very happy. Jade misses you, but she and Ryan love each other and are taking good care of your son and each other. Your parents visit him and love him, too. They’re getting along knowing that’s what you would’ve wanted. Lucas misses you too Tommy, very much. You should see him on the field; he’s a rock star out there. We know that this is for us. Your shell may be here, but your soul is high above us watching us every day.” She looked at him, and he was still staring at the ground.
“Thanks, Tessa,” he said, “I think we can go.” *** They walked into the farmhouse, and Kendall and Jake came out. “Look, it’s the celebrities,” Kendall laughed and hugged Tessa. “Whatever,” Tessa laughed. Chewy came running out and jumped on Lucas. He laughed and pet him. “Traitor,” Tessa said. John and Maggie walked in, “Wow — this is a surprise!” Maggie hugged them both. “We just visited with Jade and Lucas thought we should stop,” Tessa said. “Well, I’ve missed you, we’ve seen more of you in print and on TV than in person,” John said. “Lucas, have you been taking care of Tessa?” “When she isn’t bailing me out of jams,” he laughed. They stayed and chatted for awhile and left after dinner. *** The next few weeks flew by. Everyday normal was perfect. Their trip to Mexico was amazing truly relaxing. They returned from Mexico and seemed more in love than before. One month left of the semester, so they both studied for finals whenever they could. Both Tessa and Lucas finished on the dean’s list. Tessa registered for classes online for the summer. Lucas would be working for his father in Syracuse and Tessa had reluctantly given up her camp gig and was going to continue her job as a C N A. She would miss working with the kids and Kendall was starting this summer, she wished she could work with her. Jake and Alex were helping on the farm. “You alright baby?” Lucas asked as he walked out and saw Tessa leaning against the railing on the deck. “Yes,” she smiled. “I’m just going to miss home.” He looked at her, “Is that where you want to be?” “Only if you come with me,” she smiled. He looked relieved. “Sometimes I feel like you’re making all the changes here Tessa, and it kind of makes me feel like an ass.” “Well, I think that it’s called growing up, you know me making changes, and you only sometimes feeling like an ass,” she laughed. He smiled, “I guess we’ve both changed. Do you know it has been almost seven months since we’ve broken up, that’s a record for me.” “Well, me too,” she smiled. “However, you forgot about the little thing in February. So in all actuality it’s four months. Still a record. Wait until we can say this in forty years.” He swallowed hard, and she noticed. What was that about? She wondered as she walked into the house. She started dinner, and he walked in. “Everything alright? You came in awfully quickly,” he kissed the back of her head. “Maybe you should ask yourself that question,” she laughed. “What do you mean?” “I don’t know: I mention forty years and you gulp and look like you’re going to get sick,” she laughed
it off. “I was celebrating seven months, and you said forty years, it just kind of took me by surprise,” he hugged her. “Well, I guess we should just take it one day at a time then, wouldn’t want you to freak out. Hey — why don’t you go switch the laundry for me, please?” she kissed his cheek. She went into the bathroom and tried to calm herself down. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. Not a big deal, get over it. Tessa looked in the mirror making sure she didn’t look like she felt inside, but she did. It hurt, she loved him enough for a lifetime and he …well she wasn’t sure. He changed the laundry and knew he had upset her, but forty years was a long time. He promised her forever and he knew that’s what he wanted down deep, but the words were far scarier to him now. But why? He walked into the kitchen his food was on a plate. “Hey, I’m not hungry right now, I’m going for a run,” she yelled and he heard the front door shut. Shit, he thought. He threw his shoes on and ran to catch her. “Do you mind if I join you?” he asked catching up to her. He looked at her face, and she was crying. “Don’t… please baby, I meant nothing by it.” “What are you talking about? I just miss my family,” she sprinting ahead of him. “Stop Tessa,” he yelled. “Not right now Lucas, I’ll see you at home,” she ran hard and fast away from him. He went back to the house, reluctantly. She was gone for an hour. When she came back, she looked happier. “That felt good,” she said when he opened the door waiting for her. “Tessa,” he said softly. “Lucas don’t. It’s no big deal, we’re young, and if we work until forever great — if not well… that will have to be okay, too,” she smiled. “I need a shower,” she said, throwing off her shoes and running upstairs past him. She couldn’t look at him right now, she thought she was alright but not when he looked at her like he had. He walked in the bathroom and watched her through the glass door. “What are you waiting for? Get in,” she said in her fake happy voice. He got in, in his clothes, “I’m sorry I’m an idiot, and Tessa I know it upset you, please forgive me? I do want forever with you.” “Okay, forgiven,” she said. “You do know your clothes are on, right?” *** They went down and ate dinner. She was quiet, and he felt like crap. She smiled at him and he looked down. “It’s okay Lucas; please don’t get weird on me. I’d like to move on from this. If we don’t, it gets ugly. I can’t do ugly again, ever. Hey, I found a place about two miles away that gives singing lessons.” “Oh?” “I thought I might take lessons,” she smiled. “Okay, but I don’t think you need them,” he complimented her. “It’s been a long time since I’ve sung,” she said softly. “I guess you are right. Damn that must be my fault, too,” he stood and walked away. Tessa walked into the living room and he was staring at the floor. “Lucas, I never said it was your fault. Wow, this is a tough day,” She sat on the floor in front of him. “I’m sure it’s me being ultra-sensitive. I hope you can understand that. I’m trying, to be honest, not
hurtful.” “And I’m living my dream, and you’re giving up everything,” he looked away. “I chose this Lucas, I chose us. You couldn’t pressure me into anything, trust me. I love you,” She smiled. “I do miss singing; you wouldn’t have known that Lucas, I didn’t even know.” He took a deep breath looked down, “Sorry.” “Shut up. Lucas when your bottom lip sticks out that far, I really want to bite it,” he looked at her and smiled. “You are so easy,” she sat on his lap. “You don’t have to do this to make me happy,” he said as she took off her shirt. “I’m doing this because I want you,” she lifted his off, “Now shut up and do me.” He took her breast in his mouth, and she moaned. She pulled away from him and stood up. She took off her shorts, he grabbed her behind the knees, and she started to fall he put his other arm behind her back and laid her on the floor. He took off his pants and knelt above her head and lowered himself over her kissing down her stomach, she took him in her mouth, and they pleasured each other. Her body was on fire, and he stopped and stood up. He pulled her up and turned her around, so her back was against his chest he pushed her into the dining room. He bent her over the table grabbed her hips. She arched her back and looked over her shoulder at him. He was rubbing her and nostrils flaring as he grabbed hold of himself rubbing her wet pussy with his erection. He thrust into her as she yelled out; he loved to hear her cry out in pleasure. His hand gently ran down her back and he grabbed her ass hard as she moaned, and he pulled out. He reached his hand in front of her and rubbed her as he continued to grab her butt. “Baby,” he moaned “Your ass looks fine.” “Lucas no,” she said quietly knowing exactly what his dirty little mind was thinking. “Please baby. Just try” he asked as he slowly rubbed her. She moaned, “Lucas not now, please.” “I’m going to change your mind about this,” he slammed into her until she exploded. Legs wobbling she stood and pushed him away. She took his hand, lay down, pulled him down and pushed her breast together. “Do me here,” she said and his eyes flickered. With each thrust, she licked the tip and he watched, his eyes were on fire. She pulled at her nipples, and he groaned. “Damn baby, this is nice. Don’t stop doing that,” he groaned, his jaw clenched, he tipped his head back, and she let him finish in her mouth. “Very nice, baby.” He lay on his back and pulled her into him. “You like to watch, Lucas?” “I guess I do,” he smiled as he played with her hair. “I’ll change your mind about the other someday.” “I don’t think so,” she laughed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN The alarm went off at four forty- five in the morning. Tessa was already in the shower, and he jumped in. “Ready for work?” She smiled at him. “Ready for you first,” he kissed her, pushing her into the shower wall. *** She went to the kitchen and made him breakfast. He ate and grabbed his bag. She handed him his lunch. “No, thank you — I want you to bring me lunch,” he gave her a wink. “Oh, okay.” “Why, did you have other plans? Cause if you had something to do I’m alright with that.” “No, I don’t I would love to come,” she hugged him. “I’m going to miss you today.” “I’ll see you at noon,” he kissed her neck. “Are you going back to bed?” “Yes,” she laughed, “Sorry.” *** Tessa cleaned and did laundry she put dinner in the Crockpot and then decided to go for a run. She ran by the theater that she saw the voice lesson flyer. She walked inside. “Hi I was wondering about the voice lessons, I saw a sign the other day and am interested,” she smiled. “I believe we are filled until September, let me check,” the receptionist smiled and walked to the office. She opened the door, and a tall man in his late twenties with tattoos on his arms walked out. “Can you sing?” he asked nodding to her. “I think I can, but would love lessons.” “Let’s hear something.” She blushed, “It’s been awhile, I don’t know...” “Do you want lessons or not? Let’s hear something,” he started to turn around. “Well, tell me what to sing then, I’m kind of on the spot here.” Tessa had kind of snapped at him and hadn’t meant to. He looked at her amused, “Joplin.” She sang a few lines, and he looked down, “I can do better.” “We will see, call in two weeks, we can figure something out then,” he walked in the back. She took a card on her way out. *** His phone chimed: - Hey, hot stuff, where are you?...LT He looked down to the street and saw her he smiled and whistled, she looked up and waved and walked inside.
Lucas grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. “You look very happy.” “I am… I get to see you,” he kissed her again. “I brought lunch,” she held up a small cooler. He slide his finger between her belly and waistband, “Mmm...” She laughed and noticed a bunch of guys walking towards them and pulled away. “Tessa,” Ryan smiled. “Hello Ryan,” she blushed. “See you in thirty minutes, Lucas,” Ryan walked away. “He’s very bossy,” Lucas grabbed her and pulled her upstairs to an empty room and locked the door. He ran his hands up her skirt and noticed she wasn’t wearing any panties. “Nice baby,” he scooped her up and laid her on the wooden floor. When he finished his main course, Tessa sat on his lap and smiled, “Can I feed you while we do it?” she asked. He smiled and shook his head yes. He didn’t eat much, but they both enjoyed themselves a great deal. His phone chimed - We are on our way up…Ryan “Shit,” Lucas threw his pants on. Tessa laughed and got dressed. He reached in the cooler and grabbed the rest of the sandwich and shoved it in his mouth. He laughed when he saw her panties in the cooler and held them out for her to step into them and then quickly unlocked the door. Her eyes were wide “What’s wrong?” “They’re very cold.” His eyes lit up, as he smiled. “You like that huh?” he pulled her into him and kissed her. “No,” she whispered as he rubbed her back. “You are so full of shit,” he laughed. Ryan cleared his throat, and the other guys smirked. Tessa looked down, and her face was red. “I can walk myself out,” she pulled away from him “Goodbye, Mr. Brooks.” Lucas watched from the window as she got in the Jeep she looked up and he waved. She smiled and waved back. “How was lunch,” one of the guys asked. “Perfect,” Lucas smiled at Ryan. Ryan shook his head knowingly. *** Tessa called Jade when she got home, “How are you three doing?” “Good, and how are you?” Jade asked. “I just had lunch with Lucas and was thinking maybe you should take Ryan lunch tomorrow, and I could watch baby Luke, we could spend the afternoon together.” “Sounds great, I’m getting a little stir crazy,” Jade laughed. ***
Lucas was exhausted when he got home. Tessa brought him dinner and told him about the theater, and that Jade and Lukie would be coming so, Jade could take Ryan lunch. “None for me tomorrow?” “I’m sure we can make up for it.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Over the next few weeks, their routine didn’t change much. They both worked and loved on each other often. They attended graduation and many parties. Molly’s shower was in a week, and the big fair was coming up. Kendall had asked Tessa to help out at the booster club’s stand. She agreed, and Lucas was fine with it. Tessa got out of bed and decided to go for a run, she ran past the theater and into a nearby park. She was listening to her iPod as she turned a corner and ran into someone and fell flat on her butt. She stood up. “I’m so sorry” as she brushed herself off. She looked at the shirtless man and noticed the sleeves of tattoos. He smirked, “Maybe you should take running lessons as well.” She looked up at him and noticed the man from the theater. He was tall and lean, his body was very defined. “No, thank you,” she said annoyed and started to run. He caught up to her, “Tessa, right?” “Yes,” she continued to run. “I’m Adam, you never called back,” he said as they ran. “You didn’t seem interested.” She said smugly. He laughed, “Oh no?” “No, I’ll find somewhere else to go,” she ran faster. “Suit yourself, but I want you to know I’m very good,” he ran the other way. What an ass, she thought. *** Kendall and Tessa ran the booster club booth at the fair on Thursday night they laughed and had a great time talking to people she hadn’t seen over the past year. Lucas, Jade, Ryan, and Lukie joined them for dinner. There was a band playing, and she begged Lucas to dance. He shook his head yes and followed her. She looked at the band and noticed the drummer. “What are you looking at?” Lucas scowled. “I thought the drummer was the voice coach I was telling you about, must be the tattoos” she laughed. “They never called you?” “No, but I ran into him running last week, he seems like a jerk. I told him I would look elsewhere.” “Was he rude?” he asked, getting pissed. “No Lucas, he just seems full of himself and he probably isn’t any good,” she rolled her eyes. “Okay, but you said you missed singing, Baby,” he said looking at her as they danced. The drummer took the guitar and sang the next song. “Lucas, I really think that’s him” she glanced and laughed as they walked to the booster clubs booth. “I’m going to head home baby, walk me out?” She kissed him goodnight, and he promised to text when he got home, she promised she would only be a couple more hours. Tessa went back to work with Kendall and the band guy walked up to the booth. “Tessa, right?” he smiled. “Adam,” she said as she wiped off the counter. Kendall walked up, “This is my sister Kendall.”
“Nice to meet you, can your sister sing?” he asked Kendall. “She’s amazing, she was the lead in the musical Avita last spring,” she said, “You should have her sing with you up there unless you’re scared.” Tessa shook her head no and rolled her eyes at Kendall “No, that’s quite alright,” she said. “What should she sing?” he asked Kendal ignoring Tessa. “Anything,” Kendall laughed. “We do rock, pick a few and I’ll choose, see you in five minutes,” Adam walked away. “Kendall, what are you thinking?” she laughed. “I’m thinking we need to pick a song, Tessa he looks familiar, like MTV familiar,” she laughed. “It’s probably the tattoos,” they both laughed. *** Tessa asked Ryan and Jade to come watch, and they sat in the bleachers. “Can your band play The Cranberries Zombie or Alanis Morissette You Oughtta Know?” “Yep,” he said and walked away. “Well, which one?” she asked. Adam smirked and they started playing You Oughtta Know. She did great and smiled as she started walking off stage. Zombie started she turned to him and smiled, he gave her a challenging stare. Tessa raised her eyebrow, a challenge please she thought. Next they played Baby One More Time by Britany Spears. She sang and looked to him for approval; he pretended to yawn and rolled his eyes. Tess incorporated a few little dance moves and he smirked. She danced and sang and had a great time. He moved to the keyboard. “You all want one more?” he asked, and they cheered. He began playing a song from Avita. She smiled and sang Don’t cry for me Argentina. “We’re going to take a quick break” he announced and rushed her off stage. “I think I can work with you, do you play an instrument?” “No,” she said. “Okay, so piano, you’ll take piano lessons starting three weeks from Monday at six pm,” he said. “What about voice — I can’t do six at night,” she said confused. “So this isn’t important to you?” he asked, but it was more like a statement. “Well, I have to work to pay for lessons, and I do have a social life,” she crossed her arms and scowled defensively. “Fine, Mondays at nine in the morning. And you’ll start with an instrument” he walked away. *** Tessa walked in the bedroom, and Lucas was sleeping. She was excited and wanted to tell him all about singing. She went under the covers and kissed around his pelvis. He rolled over. She moved to the other side of the bed, and he turned away again. “Tessa, come on baby… I’m tired,” he mumbled. He woke up and looked at her sleeping he bent down and kissed her. “I love you, baby.” “You turned me down,” she pulled the covers over her head. “Sorry, I was tired,” he said, “I’m up now.” “And I’m tired” she rolled over. “Have a good day, I love you anyway.” “Tessa don’t be mad,” he rubbing his hand softly down her back.
“I’m not, I have to be up in an hour for work, see you later,” she covered herself. *** Lucas walked into work, “Hey Jade taped Tessa singing last night, do you want to see?” “Sure,” he said confused. Her phone chimed, and it was him - Nice performance last night Tessa… LL - It would have been if you didn’t tell me NO… LT - No baby, at the fair… LL - Oh, I forgot I was going to tell you last night but well you were tired and this morning I wasn’t thinking about that AT ALL, feeling rejected… LT - I’ll make it up to you baby, I can come home if you want… LL - I wanted last night, not now… LT - I’m not going to live this one down am I… LL - NO!!! Don’t do that to me again, you made me this way! I’m going to work, see you later… LT - Baby I think it’s you…still sorry, see you tonight… LL Tessa came home and made dinner and showered. Lucas walked in with a bag and flowers. “Hello baby, I brought you gifts,” he licked his lips and bit his lip. Tessa smiled and he handed her the bag. “What the hell is this?” she asked shocked. “Toys,” he looked her up and down. “So this is what I am supposed to do when you turn me down? I don’t think so,” she shoved the bag at him and walked away. “No, you better not, they’re for us,” he laughed and grabbed her. “No, thank you I prefer the real thing,” she snapped, “When it’s available. I understand tired and I have been a baby about it today, but that stuff is not happening.” “Okay baby, I’m sorry.” He laughed as he walked out of the room and up the stairs. He took the bag and shoved it in the back of the closet. He walked downstairs and looked at her. “Am I in the doghouse?” “You weren't, but now you are,” she scowled at him. “I should’ve taken you with me shopping, huh?” he smirked while he turned to walk out of the living room. She threw a magazine at him. Lucas turned around stalked back to her. He picked her up off the couch and threw her over his shoulder and grabbed the magazine and smacked her on the butt. “Put me down!” Her voice broke and he put her down, and there were tears in her eyes. She stormed away. Lucas grabbed her, “Talk to me, damn it!” “I don’t know…I don’t know why…” she hugged him.
“Okay, that's better,” he held her. “You're seriously not pissed at me are you?” “No, not about last night, those things though, not cool,” she laughed. He pulled back and looked at her, “Now you’re laughing?” “Yes, I’m very moody today,” she put her head on his chest. After she had forced to calm herself down she looked up at him and he was looking at her apprehensively. “Sorry?” He smiled, “We good now?” She shook her head yes and stepped back. “Can we eat?” They finished eating, and he cleaned up. Tessa did some homework, and he sat and read the newspaper next to her. She was getting tired. She shut off the computer and stood up, “I’m going to bed,” she kissed his head. She showered and got into bed. A few minutes later came up and did the same. He lay next to her and wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, anyway,” he smirked. “What?” she laughed. “You know even though you’re crazy.” She tried to pull away from him, and he laughed and held her tighter. She didn’t fight, she was tired. “It’s been five months today, Lucas,” she whispered. He thought for a minute, “Oh.” She rolled over and hugged him. He kissed her. “Sorry baby.” “Me too,” she closed her eyes fell asleep. He couldn’t sleep. He didn’t know how to make this better for her or him for that matter. He thought about David and wondered how Sadi was doing. He got up and went downstairs. He logged onto her Facebook account and checked to see if he could go through one of Tessa’s friends page’s to hers. It worked. Sadi was going to school up at Syracuse, and he had not run into her, he hadn’t even thought about her until now. She was in a relationship, and he was happy for her. Her posts were upbeat and very positive. He got up to get a drink and walked back in. Tessa was standing in front of the computer and looked shocked. Oh Fuck, he thought. “Tessa, I just wanted to know how she was doing.” “Okay, well I hope she is doing well,” she looked at him as tears welled up in her eyes. She ran upstairs into what would have been her baby’s room and locked the door. She lay on the bed and cried. “Tessa, open the door please,” he said. “Let me explain.” She didn’t answer him she put her ear buds in and cried herself to sleep. He tossed and turned as he tried to go to sleep and couldn’t. He grabbed a wire hanger and popped the lock on the door to the room she was sleeping in. He looked at the bed and saw her laying there. He knew he had crossed a line today and even if he explained it to her she probably would still be hurt, and he could blame her. He walked into their room and went to sleep. In the morning, he wrote a note and left it on the counter. Tessa, I’m sorry. You have every right to be upset with me. After you had fallen asleep, I started thinking of David. I just wanted to see if she was doing alright. It was poor timing on my part, and very insensitive. Please accept my apology, I love you forever.
Love, Lucas. P.S. Please come to lunch today.
She read the letter and took a shower. His phone chimed, and it was her. - I accept your apology and am sorry that our loss reminds you of yours with her. I truly understand that in my head. I will not lie — it hurt like hell. I won’t be able to make it to lunch. I have three days off and am planning to go to my parents to help get ready for Molly’s baby shower. I’m working with Kendall tonight. I shouldn’t be too late. I love you… LT - I understand, sorry again.. LL She drove to the farm and texted him - I’m home, I think I will stay tonight if you want to come you. can.. LT He didn’t text her back, great she thought. After finishing the shower favors, Tessa decided to go for a walk with Chewy. She sat next to the falls, thinking as he splashed in the water. She knew it shouldn’t be a big deal and was sure she was even more emotional because Molly was going to have a baby. She couldn’t do that, she knew it wasn’t meant to be, making her wonder about everything else that had happened with her and Lucas in the past. She decided to suck it up, “Come on Chewy.” Tessa showered to get ready for the fair. She worked with Kendall and was having fun. She saw all her old friends and chatted about college and life. Of course, everyone asked her how she and Lucas were doing. Her phone chimed it was him - You look so happy right now Tessa. If I come see you will that make you sad?... LL He stood back and watched from the crowd. He saw her brows turn in and she pinched the bridge of her nose. - Guess that answers my question, I’m going to head back baby, be happy… LL - You better get back here Lucas!... LT Lucas walked up with his head down, and he looked up through his long lashes at her. “Hi,” he said softly. “Hi to you,” she smiled, “Why don’t you come back and help?” “Alright,” he walked around to the back. “Are you okay?” she asked him as he looked around lost. “Yes are you?” “I’m having fun, come on,” she threw him an apron “Suit up, Links.” Their tent quickly became the busiest one at the fair, from all the girls middle through high school checking him out, all the way to the die hard SU fans. They sold out of everything before closing. They were cleaning up when Tessa saw Sadi walk up to the booth. Great, she thought. She looked at Lucas, and he looked down and shook his head. Great he thought, she is going to think this was my doing. “We’re closing up, all sold out,” Kendall told her. “I wanted to talk to Lucas,” Sadi said calmly.
“Lucas, you have a visitor.” He looked at Tessa. “Go,” she said and looked away. “Hi Lucas. I wanted you to meet someone, this is my boyfriend, Seth.” Lucas looked up. Seth had gray eyes and shoulder length messy hair. He was attractive but completely different from her typical type. Lucas put his hand out and shook his. “Nice to meet you,” he said. “Tessa, come here, please.” She walked over. “Tessa this is Seth, my boyfriend,” Sadi smiled. “Nice to meet you,” Tessa nodded. “When you two are done, could you give us a minute?” Seth asked politely. “Sure,” Lucas answered. “You go ahead Lucas, I have nothing to say to her,” she whispered. “Tessa, please,” she took a deep breath, and he grabbed her hand, “Thank you.” They sat across the table from them; Tessa looked down avoiding eye contact. “Tessa, I’m sorry” Sadi’s voice broke, “I truly am.” Seth put his arm around Sadi. “I got this. Sadi and I met at the beginning of last year. She and I have had many talks about what you have all been through. She feels pretty bad about everything. Her hope, our hope, is that she can put this behind her. She knows she was awful to you, Tessa. And Lucas, you both did some pretty rotten things to each other, but Sadi knows how wrong she was for what happened a year and a half ago. We stopped at the cemetery tonight, and she saw the flowers you’d left…today I think. She knows she hurt you, and she just wants you to know that. If you could forgive her, she could more easily move on.” “I forgive her, is she still seeing a therapist?” he asked Seth. “Actually she is doing much better,” Seth retorted defensively. “Lucas,” Tessa whispered. “What Tessa?” Lucas snapped at her. She looked down. “I’m sorry,” he said and lifted her chin. “I’m sorry.” “Well, we just needed to put this behind us, do you have anything else Sadi?” Seth asked. “Tessa I’m so sorry. I understand now what made him fall in love with you. I swear I have met a male version of you. He just wants me to be happy, and he loves me regardless of what has happened in my past. I’m so sorry, please forgive me,” Sadi pleaded. Tessa looked up and smiled, “I do Sadi, and I forgive you.” Sadi stood up and walked around the table and hugged her. “I really am sorry I was such a monster to you,” she said. “I hope you two are as happy as we are.” Tessa smiled, “I’m happy for you.” They said their goodbyes and Tessa nodded to the booth. When they finished cleaning up, they all left. Lucas followed Tessa and Kendall to the farm. Kendall started the hot tub. Alex and Phoebe pulled in and ran inside to change. “I think I’m going to head back to our place,” Lucas said when Tessa walked up to him. She looked at him, “Really?” “Or I could stay here and wait for you to go off on me,” he lifted his chin high. “Lucas I…” she started and stopped. She started to walk away and waved her hand, “Do whatever you need to do.” He peeled out of the driveway as Tessa watched out the kitchen window, wanting to cry.
Tessa joined her siblings and Phoebe in the hot tub. They talked and laughed. Tessa got out and checked her phone, he hadn’t texted. She walked in the bathroom and showered. She threw on her clothes and walked out into the kitchen and helped her mom make salads for the shower. Her phone chimed: - hope everything is alright. Lucas is here and in bed, he looks pretty upset… Jade - glad he is safe; yeah we have had a rough couple days. Go figure. I’ll see you guys at the shower in the morning. I’ll talk to you then… Tessa *** Tessa woke up and showered. She helped her mom load everything up and headed to camp. Everything looked great, and people were pulling in. She greeted family and friends, some that she hadn’t seen in awhile. She heard a call pulling down the dirt road and turned hoping it was him. She saw an unfamiliar vehicle. Troy got out and opened the door she saw Carmen was with him. She ran over and hugged her. “Hello, you two,” she smiled. “You ready to meet the family?” Tessa watched the way Troy looked at her and was happy for him. Jade and Ryan pulled in. She smiled hoping to see Lucas not far behind. She missed him. Ben’s family rolled in next, and he smiled when she looked at him. “Hey Tess, looking hot as usual,” he hugged her. “Where’s your boy, I saw your interview on TV, you pulled that off very well.” “So what have you been up to? I’ve missed your face Ben,” Tessa smiled. “Not much, first- year over. I am going to study in Europe next year that’s pretty exciting,” Ben smiled. She felt her face fall, and he laughed. “Tessa Ross, what’s up with that look?” he smiled smugly. “Nothing Ben. It’ll just be weird not seeing you at camp that’s all” she laughed and slugged him in the arm. The party had gone on for an hour and still no Lucas. She walked up to Jade. “Where is he?” she asked. “I don’t know, he mentioned that you may not want him here,” Jade said cautiously. “Seriously? If he doesn’t show up to my sister’s shower, I may not want him here ever again,” Tessa stormed off. Ben watched her walk away and ran up to her, “Trouble in paradise, girl?” “Isn’t there always?” she said and immediately regretted it. “Still not happy, huh?” “No, I am it’s just… I don’t know… I know I love him — I just act terrible sometimes and he always ends up acting worse,” she said looking at the ground. “Tess, if you look at my ass you’ll feel better,” Tessa smiled and they both laughed. They started walking back towards the party. “Just seeing your face is enough, I miss you,” she admitted. “I know,” Ben smiled. Tessa helped keep trays full and played with baby Luke. He was getting so big. Finally, music was playing and she danced with Lukie, and he laughed. “You could make the whole world happy, little man,” she said and spun around with him. “It’s almost feeding time Lukie,” Jade took him from Tessa, “Sorry.”
She looked up and saw Lucas pulling down the driveway. She immediately got annoyed. Ben saw her face and laughed. “Shut up,” she laughed at Ben. Lucas walked up with a basket full of gifts. He looked at her if you weren’t such an ass you would look so damn hot right now, she thought. She turned and walked away. “Tessa, he’s here,” Jade said, “Better late than never.” “Did you call him Jade?” “No, I didn’t call him,” Jade said and quickly walked away. Lucas put the gifts by the table and walked over to Ryan, “Thanks for the heads up, man.” He walked over to Tessa. “Nice of you to show up,” she snapped. “I’m here, aren’t I?” he asked. “You’re lucky you are or this would have been done, this is my family Lucas. If you’re with me, they’re MVP’s do you understand that?” He looked at her and raised his eyebrow. “If this is how things are going to be today, I won’t be here long,” he looked her straight in the eyes. “Do you understand that?” She didn’t expect that, and she was hurt. She turned and walked away. “Hello Lucas,” Troy said. “Hey, look at you two,” he hugged them both, “How long are you staying?” “We have to be back in four days, Carmen has classes to teach, and I have a real job now, things are changing. I’m even thinking about going to college,” he laughed and hugged Carmen. “Where are you two staying? We have a place up in Syracuse and two spare bedrooms if you guys want you could stay with us,” Lucas offered. “Is that alright with you?” Troy asked Carmen. “Sounds great,” Carmen smiled. The party went marvelously. Tessa and Lucas avoided each other the entire day. Tessa was sitting with baby Luke in a chair, rocking him as he slept. “You look happy with him in your arms, how are you Tess?” Ben asked as he knelt down next to her. “I’m okay,” she whispered. “This can’t be easy, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. A tear fell, and he wiped it away. Lucas stood and watched the exchange and was immediately aggravated. “Until I think about it, it’s fine,” Tessa forced a smile. “It’s only been six month's girl, you’ll get there,” Ben said gently. She couldn’t believe he knew that. Lucas didn’t even remember. “Thank you,” she looked confused. “Ross — you’ll be an amazing mom someday, don’t you dare rush it, okay? Please. Your future children deserve the best they can get Tess and — well please just wait, figure you out first,” Ben eyes filled with deep concern. “Okay Ben,” she said and he stood up. “We’re taking off,” Ben took a deep breath; “I’m going to miss you terribly, Tess. If you need me for anything, please call or send a message okay? For anything. See you later, hot stuff.” “I’ll miss your face Ben,” she smiled “Be safe.” He turned to walk away and looked back, “Your looking… it’s pretty damn amazing.” She laughed and watched him walk away. “Hey Lucas, how are you?” Ben asked.
“I’m fine Ben, how is MY girl?” he asked. “She’s right over there… you should go ask her yourself,” Ben said snidely, “I’ll be gone for a year Lucas, be good to her.” “Where you going?” he asked. “To study in Europe,” Ben looked back at Tessa. “Trying to get away from something Ben?” “Trying to avoid watching a girl I love be treated like far less than she deserves to be,” Ben said, “Take care, Links.” Lucas could not believe he had said that to his face. “Is that what made her cry? A confession of your love to her?” he called after him. Ben quickly turned around and walked towards him. “You don’t need to make a scene. No, she has no idea. I wouldn’t want to hurt her. But you better tread lightly. She’s over there rocking a baby, and she lost yours six months ago, I asked her how she was. I remembered it had been six months because I remember her pain. You better start looking beyond yourself. She loves you, and you have no fucking clue how lucky you are,” Ben turned and walked away. Lucas stood there for a minute and tried to calm himself down. Everyone outside of close family had left the party. Tessa was still rocking Luke and singing to him. Lucas helped clean up and finally walked over to Tessa. “Hi,” he said softly. “Hi,” she said and looked up at him. He stared at her for a long time and then touched her arm. He searched her face for a reaction, and there wasn’t one. Tessa looked at the baby and took a deep breath and looked back at him. “Tessa if that’s what you want, we should try again.” She looked shocked and whispered, “What are you talking about?” “If you want a baby, Tessa we can try,” his eyes burning hers. “Is that what you want, Lucas?” she asked trying to process what he had just said. “I want you to be happy,” he looked at her. “I am perfectly happy right now,” she looked at the sleeping baby. “I know, you look so at home when you hold him and it’s so amazing.” “No, Lucas that’s not what I want right now,” she looked sadly at him wondering how he could think that was actually an issue and wondering if she really knew what the issue was. “Okay then tell me how to make you happy?” “Lucas, I shouldn’t have to,” she bent over and kissed his lips lightly. “We’re screwing this up again, and it’s breaking my heart,” Tessa stood up and walked over and followed Jade to the car. When they finished cleaning up. Troy put his arm around Tessa and smiled, “So Carmen and I are staying with you and Lucas for a couple days. We are going to have a good time aren’t we?” Tessa was confused but pulled it off not wanting to make Troy or Carmen uncomfortable, “Yes we are.” Lucas was standing on the dock and looking at the water; she walked up behind him and lightly pushed him towards the water. He jumped and almost fell in, she laughed and so did he. He hugged her. “I love you Tessa, sorry.” “I love you, and I’m sorry,” she pulled away from him. “About what? I’ve been the one being an ass,” he admitted. “Sorry about this,” she walked closer and his body visibly relaxed and she pushed him in the pond. She laughed as he came up out of the water and he yelled, “You are in so much trouble!” “I know,” she jumped in with him. He grabbed her and kissed her. She hugged him and wrapped her legs around him laughing.
“Don’t do that, baby?” he said, and she felt his hand underneath her. “Why the panties?” he whispered as he ripped them off. She gasped. “Lucas, my family,” she started. “They’re still cleaning up,” he pulled himself free from his wet shorts and slowly moved into her. “Oh God Lucas, not here please,” she moaned, her body not agreeing with her head. “Then stop moving baby,” he moved them under the deck so they wouldn’t be seen. “I’m going to make this quick, but I’ll more than make up for it later,” he kissed her neck as he moved hard and fast, groaning with each powerful almost overwhelming thrust. He closed his eyes and put his head against her neck. There was something different about this time. No hands, no kissing, it was possessive, animalistic; it was as if he just desperately needed a release. “Lucas,” she moaned and tried to guide his face to hers. “No baby,” he hissed and continued until he finished. Tessa was shocked; it was like he wasn’t even with her. When he finally pulled his head away from her neck and looked at her, his eyes were dark, pupils too dilated for the amount of light at this time of day. He closed his eyes and took a few breaths and then opened his eyes and smiled, “We good Baby?” Tessa shook his head yes, “Kiss me?” Lucas smiled and leaned in and kissed her softly. They swam out into the pond and Kendall yelled “Did she push you in?” Lucas shook his head yes, and Kendall laughed, “And then she jumped in?” he shook his head again; “You got to get her first!” The rest of the family stood and laughed as they watched them swim towards shore. “You do know we can’t fix everything like this right?” she asked. “We can talk Tessa, anytime,” he smiled. “But that was nice?” “I don’t think we have a problem in that area.” He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and smacked her butt, her family laughed and so did she. He walked out of the water and put her down. “What else needs to be done around here?” Lucas asked and smirked at Tessa. “I think that’s all,” John said. “We are just going to go unload the stuff at the house.” They followed her family to the farm helped unload everything and Tessa and Lucas went into the bathroom to change. “This is the first place I met the girls Tessa, well up close and very personal,” he smiled. “It’s where a lot of stuff happened,” she said sadly. He hugged her, “I hope you know, no matter what… I love you Tessa. When I am an ass, when I am away from you, I love you. That will never stop.” “I know,” she said. She wondered if that was enough for a lifetime. Because she loved him so much that she should just suffer through the hard times, not only suffer — but expect them. She didn’t think she could do it without losing herself. “Did you plan on coming today, or did Jade call you?” He took a deep breath, “Jade told Ryan what you said and he called me. I was angry about everything that went on yesterday and the day before. I really just wanted to go home.” “But you went to your old house, not ours. Why didn’t you stay here with me?” “I was angry Tessa, and I knew you were too,” he said still holding her. “I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew I was wrong for snapping at you, and for not telling you I went to the grave and everything else. I just didn’t want to deal with it.” “Lucas should we go to counseling to learn how to talk to each other?”
He stiffened, “No.” “Okay,” she rubbed his back. “Are you mad that I asked that?” “I just wish you would remember where we were less than two years ago, and be happy with how far we’ve come.” She wished he had said yes to counseling, and that she was worth it. Maybe she should act broken… he seemed to shine then. He was so frustrating! Well for now she knew she loved him, and it hurt much worse trying to get over him than it did having her feelings hurt every three or four months. She just hoped it didn’t happen more often and that.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN When Tessa got home from her first music lesson, she truly happy. Adam was less than personable and very harsh, but he made her want to do better and work harder. They ended the lesson with him giving her an impossibly long list of songs. Tessa had stopped to buy a keyboard on her way home, he almost insistent that she go buy a real piano she argued with him that she couldn’t right now and that this was his idea the ‘whole piano lesson thing’ so he could either take it or leave it. Lucas came home, and dinner was in the oven. Tessa sat on the floor and practiced row, row, row your boat. “What’s this? Piano now?” He kissed her head. “Oh, I forgot, I didn’t get a chance to tell you. Adam said I should take up an instrument and that it should be piano, pushy prick! He doesn’t take no for an answer. But he can play everything Lucas. I know I can learn a lot from him.” He didn’t respond. “Did you hear me?” “Yep, I heard he is pushy and doesn’t take no for an answer that he can play anything and that you can learn a lot from him, and I already can’t stand him,” He said. “I think you need to find a new teacher, soon. I don’t even know why you’re doing this to be honest Tessa, do you?” She looked at him, totally confused. “Well is it something you’re going to truly pursue or make something of?” he asked. She smiled and answered, “I don’t know.” Screw you! She screamed in her head. “Hey, I’m going for a run,” she stood and quickly went to the door “Tessa can I go with you?” he knew he pissed her off…again. “No, actually I need to do this alone, although I don’t know why I bother it’s not like I am going to be a FUCKING marathon runner,” she put her shoes on and started out the door. He slammed the door and grabbed her. “Don’t leave,” he was a mix of confused and pissed. “Take your hands off me,” Tessa snapped. “No, you listen to me,” he yelled as he grabbed her tightly holding her arms to her side. “Take… your… hands… off... of… me… now,” she yelled. “Fine go run, it’s not like you’re doing anything else,” he let go of her and walked away. “You have no idea what you have just done to us Lucas — NONE!” she started to leave. “You go right ahead and make threats, Tessa. What are you going to do run home to the farm,” she slapped him across the face. “Nice — you’re certainly the most fucked up of all of them.” She ran for almost two hours. When she came home, he was gone, he left a note. Tessa, I’m going to New Jersey for a couple days. Do whatever it is that makes you happy, it certainly isn’t me. Lucas
She screamed and started crying. She jumped in the shower and came out and threw on a bra and underwear on. She grabbed a tote from the closet and started emptying her drawers in it. She cranked up the radio and started throwing stuff out of the closet onto the floor. The radio turned off, and she turned around. “Tessa don’t go,” he said his eyes were red, “Please don’t go.” “Are you high Lucas?” she was shocked. He looked at her, “I love you, Tessa. Don’t go, please.”
“I’m not staying here with you, you’re mean,” he walked towards her. She stepped back, “I will slap the other side of your face.” “Okay, just don’t leave,” he stepped closer. “Lucas I can’t feel like this anymore. I won’t feel like this anymore. We need a break. We need a break every four months,” she laughed. “This is crazy… what are we doing?” “We love each other,” he said quietly. “We love to sleep together,” she went in the closet and brought out more clothes. “You don’t love me Lucas or you wouldn’t talk to me the way you did today.” “Do you honestly believe that?” he said. “Is that all this has been to you?! You’re full of shit Tessa!” “That’s what you’ve shown me for three weeks. You — Lucas have shown me that what I want, what I feel, and who I am… doesn’t mean a thing to you,” she said fighting tears. “You are my world Tessa, my whole world. Don’t leave me, I won’t survive without you, do you understand… I won’t!” He got on his knees and hugged her around her waist. “I don’t want to do this without you, I love you.” She looked down at him clinging to her. She took a deep breath. He looked up through his long lashes, and she saw tears. She ran her hand through his hair and he closed his eyes and leaned into her. “Okay,” she whispered finally. She woke up in the morning, and everything had been put back in place. There was a note in the bathroom, Thank You, Baby, I Love You I’m so sorry, Love, Lucas
She went to work, and the day dragged. She spent time with one of the older women holding her hand to comfort her, she had dementia and was having a very rough day. It was hard to let her go. She understood a little about the disease: her grandmother had it and had passed four years ago. She realized now how scared and alone she must have felt, even surrounded by her family. She pulled in the parking lot and took a deep breath and realized he was home, and she wasn’t ready. She sat outside for fifteen minutes looking down. God what am I doing? Enough damage has been done. He opened her door and looked at her, “Will you come in?” “Just give me a minute,” she said and pretended to look for something. He laughed and shook his head, “Alright, but could you hurry I want to show you something.” He stood at the door. She got out and walked up the stairs, he held the door open, there were candles lining the hallway into the dining room. The path led to a black lacquer piano. She smiled and looked at it, “It’s beautiful, Lucas.” “I want you to do what makes you happy,” he wrapped his arm around her. She closed her eyes and looked down. “You can’t look at me because I hurt you. Again, I hurt you again,” he pulled her tighter and her breath quivered and her body shook. “I need a minute,” she said but didn’t leave. She was afraid if she walked away, she wouldn’t come back. And if she didn’t come back, she wouldn’t see him again. And if she didn’t see him again, what was this all for? She loved him; she gave herself to him that has to mean something. “Thank you,” she finally said. “Would you like to play?” He looked down at her, and she shook her head no.
“Alright would you like to eat? I made dinner.” “No, I’m not hungry, but you eat,” she walked upstairs and took a shower and went to bed. She was asleep, and he lay next to her. He watched her sleep as he drifted off. She screamed and sat up. “Tessa what’s wrong?” as he sat up and grabbed her. She cried out and he held her, as she fell back asleep. She didn’t wake up with him, and for the next few days she tried to avoid him. He uncomfortably walked on pins and needles around her. Her phone chimed, and it was him. - meet me for lunch today, I need to talk to you about something that has come up...LL She pulled into the job site, and he was waiting. “Hi Tessa.” “Hi.” “I know you probably have plans but,” he said and lifted her chin, so she had to look at him, “Can you please look at me. Thank You, Miles has invited me to train with his team for a week.” Her eyes got wide, and she looked scared. “I don’t want you to.” He looked confused, “Why?” “I’m sorry, you should go,” she looked down. He pulled her down to the ground, “Knee to knee, and look at me.” “Lucas we’re on the sidewalk, there are people looking at us,” she gasped. “I don’t care just look at me,” he said desperately. “If you don’t want me to go I won’t, I just think it’s a good opportunity, Jose will be there too, just tell me what you want.” “Okay — go,” she stood up. He stood and cupped her face in his hands, “Are you sure?” “Yes, when?” “I will have to leave Sunday night. I will be back on Friday night, and I start practice the next week,” he answered. “Okay, I am going to help at my church’s Vacation Bible School next week,” she looked at him “It’s from five to eight at night.” “When did you decide that?” “Just now,” she looked down. “Okay, will you be home Friday night when I get back, at our home Tessa?” She looked at him for a minute, one of the longest minutes of his life, “I thought I would be… do you not want me to be?” “God yes, I was just afraid you would move out,” he admitted. “I told you I wasn’t leaving Lucas,” she looked hurt. “Tessa we haven’t exactly been doing all that great, I just didn’t know what you were planning.” “Ok, but I mean what I say. Don’t you know that by now?” she asked and started to look away. He pulled her face up again, bent down and kissed her gently. She stood still; he gently kissed her lip sealing his over hers and she squeezed her eyes shut. She gasped, and he pulled her to him and kissed her over and over. Her face relaxed and she finally kissed him. She pulled away and rested her forehead on his chest. “Thank you,” he said. “I love you, Tessa.” She reached up and grabbed the back of his neck, “I love you too, Lucas.” He held her tight, and she wrapped her arms around him, and breathed deeply.
“See you at home?” he asked pulling her chin up and resting his forehead against hers. She looked at him, “Yes.” His eyes lit up and relief swept across his face. He picked her up and hugged her. “Lucas, people are watching.” “Let them,” he said and kissed her cheek. He walked her to the Jeep. She drove to the store and bought some things for dinner. She thought this would be a good break. She would miss him, and he would miss her. Maybe that’s what they needed. She got out of the shower and dressed a tank top and shorts. She cranked up some music and cooked. She had an hour or an hour and a half before he would be there. She popped the cork on a bottle of wine left over from New Years Eve, Lucas’s birthday, and she had two glasses. She felt relaxed and good. Tessa jumped when he wrapped his arms around her, and he turned her towards him. “You’re early,” she laughed. He saw the wine, “Have you been drinking?” “Just a little, but I’m not drunk,” she smiled. “Would you like a glass? It was from your birthday.” He shook his head yes, and she poured each of them each a glass. “To forever,” he smiled they clinked glasses and Tessa slammed hers. He laughed, “Aren’t you supposed to sip wine?” “It tastes nasty.” “Then why are you drinking it?” “To relax a little,” she smiled and giggled, “I’ve had a very stressful few weeks.” “Tessa you’re drunk,” his lips twisted up. She shook her head no. “Can I kiss you?” she smiled shyly and shook her head yes. He kissed her as he ran his hand down her back, and she moved her hips slightly. “May I touch you?” he asked softly as he lightly bit her ear. She kissed him and rubbed low on his back, she felt him against her, and she whimpered. She took his hand and put it on her stomach. She reached behind him and pulled his shirt over his head and opened her mouth as she looked at him, she bit her lip and looked up at his eyes. Her body needed his touch, her heart needed him more. He pulled her shirt off and took her in his mouth and she moaned loudly. She undid his pants, and they dropped to the ground. She pulled down his boxer briefs and felt him pressing against her, she wiggled her hips as he pulled her shorts down and she stepped out of them. She reached around his neck and wrapped her legs around him he pushed into her, and their hips met each others in perfect rhythm. She moaned and arched her back he looked at her and kissed her breasts lightly. He was lost in the moment and was almost ready, he pulled away from her, and she looked confused. “Let’s go upstairs.” They lay in bed, and his hands explored her body. “Please Lucas,” she begged. “Just a minute, baby,” he whispered as he kissed her. She rolled to her side and wrapped her leg around him and brought him to her. They moved slowly as he kissed her neck and her face. When he felt her body start to tense, he moved faster and rolled onto her she gasped loudly and sank her nails into his shoulders and they finished together. He rolled over pulling her against him, “I love you baby.” “You too,” she kissed him. She used the bathroom and heard the timer. She grabbed a towel and ran down and grabbed her clothes. She dressed, and he came down showered. They ate dinner at the Island. She did the dishes, and he helped. “Do you want to go out tonight?”
“Not really,” she said. “I’m a bit tired.” He looked at her, “I don’t want to sleep.” “You can go out if you want to,” she said as walked in the living room. “Tessa I don’t want to go anywhere without you, I’m not going to see you for a week,” he sat next to her. “Give me a few minutes,” she said and went upstairs to shower. She came out of the bathroom, and he was in bed, he smiled at her. “Let’s just stay here. You can sleep, but I’m going to wake you up several times tonight. I’ve missed you.” “Good.” Tessa got in bed. They didn’t sleep. *** Sunday she drove Lucas and Jose to the airport. She was going to miss him and he seemed worried about leaving her. “I can’t wait until Friday,” she whispered in his ear, “I already miss you.” “Good,” he looked relieved and smiled, “You better rest up while I’m gone.” She smiled and he hugged her. “Have a good time,” she kissed him. “I’m going to be getting my ass kicked all week baby, I wish you could come too. I wish you would stop working and just be with me all the time.” She laughed, “I love you.” “Tessa would you ever consider quitting your job?” he asked. “I can take care of us.” “Can we have this conversation later?” His flight was called. “Sure,” he kissed her and walked through the tunnel. She drove to the farm. No one was home. She walked in and immediately felt safe and happy all at once. She changed her clothes and ran down back with Chewy. She sat by the water and watched him play. She missed it here, and she missed her dog. She sat until her furry little friend had his fill of playing in the water. They walked back to the house. Her phone chimed - We just landed I will text you when we get to the stadium… LL - Glad your safe! Call me before bed… LT
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Kendall was home and reading a book. “Hello,” Tessa hugged her. “Tessa, you’re here,” “I am until Friday,” “Are you really?” “Yep, Lucas is training with the Brown’s this week, and there is no place I’d rather be,” she smiled, “What are you reading?” “The new Vampire series. I’m on book two of four. You should read the first, it’s beautiful,” Kendall smiled. “Vampires aren’t my thing,” she laughed. “Oh no, you would love this, it’s not all I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD stuff. It’s about love and… just read some of it,” Kendall laughed. Kendall grabbed the first book off the bookshelf and handed it to her. “I would rather go do something,” Tessa rolled her eyes. “Read a few pages, please,” Kendall begged. Tessa and Kendall sat and read for two hours. Maggie walked in and laughed, “She has got you reading that?” “SHHH,” they both said in unison. Maggie laughed. Her phone chimed it was him - Hey, baby I’m here and it’s amazing. We took a tour and are going out to dinner. What’re you up to?... LL - I’m at home reading a book… LT - I thought you were going to the farm… LL - Yes, I’m here now… LT - What are you reading?... LL - The new Vampire series, its Kendall’s fault — I already love it!!!... LT - You like to read? Since when?... LL - Since kindergarten, silly boy…LT - Oh, learn something new every day… LL - There are four books in the series so I should be pretty busy this week, lol… LT - Well good, I miss you baby… LL - I miss you, but right now Edward is calling me back to this book… LT - Who?... LL - Edward is the main character, lol… LT
- GOOD! I was getting worried… LL - You don’t have to Lucas, not ever, I Love you, have fun at dinner… call me when you can… LT - Thanks, Tessa, I love you… LL At five o’clock, they stopped reading and looked at each other all Doe- eyed and laughed. “We better get ready,” Tessa set the book down. *** They had a good time with the kids. Tessa helped Kendall with the third and fourth- grade class. They went for ice cream after and then to the hot tub with their books. It was eleven o’clock when they went to bed. Tessa answered her phone. “Hey, baby,” Lucas yawned. “Hi, how was dinner?” “Wild, we went to a bar downtown, I don’t know how they do it,” he laughed. “Well, they didn’t work all summer,” Tessa yawned. “I guess not.” “And I’m sure they have people who take care of everything else.” “So do I. I have you,” he said sweetly. “Yes you do,” she had a smile in her voice. “How was your night?” “Fun. Kendall and I have a group, and they’re so much fun to watch they get excited to learn and memorize verses,” she heard him yawn, and she laughed. “Am I boring you?” “Sorry, no I’m just tired. I’m glad you had a good time,” he said. “What time do you have to be up?” she asked. “Eight,” he said quietly. “Are you falling to sleep on me?” “I wish,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Me too, I will let you go to sleep, I love you.” “I love you too, baby,” he said and hung up. She looked over and saw Kendall still reading. Tessa threw a pillow at Kendall and laughed, “You are bad!” “You won’t think so when you want this book, and believe me you're going to want it, holy Jacob,” she said and laughed. “Seriously, poor Edward,” she said and they both laughed. Kendall woke up, and Tessa had her book. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kendall laughed, “I hope you didn’t lose my place.” “I can’t believe he left her,” Tessa had tears in her eyes. “He loved her.” “Oh wow, Tessa. Not trying to spoil it for you, but there are four books,” she laughed. “Now give it back and give me an hour.” Her phone rang, and she answered it. “Tessa are you crying?” he asked. “It’s a book,” she said. “He left her.” “Tessa its a book,” he laughed. “I know, and Kendall better hurry up and finish so I can have the second one back,” she said and
glared at her. “How long are they?” he asked “About five hundred pages,” she laughed. “And you're done?” “Yes,” she said quietly. “Wow, that’s crazy you know?” “Shut up,” she laughed. “Alright, good morning baby.” “Good morning.” “I have to go Jose and Miles are waiting I’ll call you later, alright?” “Alright.” “I love you.” “I love you” Tessa whispered back and hung up the phone. Tessa spent the next few days reading and helping with hay. She went to work and drove back to the farm. She enjoyed her time with her family and the two hours on the road three days didn’t matter. She missed Lucas, and it actually felt good. She shopped with Phoebe and helped her get ready to move back into her new dorm. She spent time with baby Luke and Jade. She and Cassidy went out to dinner after VBS. Tessa enjoyed the time with her family. Friday she woke up and opened the third book she didn’t want to start it, but couldn’t help herself. “You’re not taking that with you,” Kendall laughed when she saw her lying in bed reading. “I know grrr…” Tessa handed Kendall the book and went downstairs to help her Mom make breakfast. “It’s been nice having you home, Tessa.” “It’s been great being here.” She spent the morning with her parents and watched Jake out the window as he drove the tractor by and smiled and waved. He was growing up so fast. She smiled and waved back. “Hey Mom, do you think Kendall and Jake can come stay with me next week like Friday through Monday?” “I think they’d like that,” Maggie smiled. “I think I would, too,” John said, and he wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her. Tessa laughed. She was so happy that they were back together. “I love you guys.” “And we love you, Tessa,” Maggie said.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Tessa walked into the townhouse, she looked around and smiled. It certainly was more modern than the house she loved so much, but it was cold. Plants, she thought. I need plants. She left and got some groceries and plants and mulch. She even had to buy a shovel. She worked all afternoon in her little yard and she was happy when she was done, sore but happy. She had planted decorative bluegrass and orange mums in three medium size beds. In a large one, she planted white daisies, yellow roses, and a lilac tree. It probably wasn’t her smartest move planting the daisies and the roses so close to fall, but she loved the way it looked. She had went back to the home improvement store again and bought some hanging solar lights both orange and blue strands and some stake ones as well. She went to the lawn and garden section and bought a small wrought iron table and four chairs and a table top propane grill all on sale. She set it all up and smiled. At least it’s under the same starry sky as home, she thought and smiled. She looked down it was five o’clock and she was a mess, Lucas would be home in two hours — she needed to shower and get to the airport. She jumped in the shower and shaved everywhere. She scrubbed her very dirty nails and couldn’t believe what a mess they were. Her hair was done, and she put on a little bit of makeup. Tessa waited for their flight to land anxiously. She saw Lucas and Jose walking and talking to some girls. He looked up and scanned the room until he saw her, he smiled and walked quickly to her and picked her up and spun her around and kissed her. “Hello baby. You look amazing,” Lucas kissed her again. “I missed you,” she said quietly and kissed his cheek. He took her hand, and Jose and the three girls walked up. “This is Tessa,” he introducing them. “Hi,” Tessa smiled. “Hello, we have been filling your fiancé’ in about the books your reading. These two don’t get it,” she laughed and so did Tessa. “Nice meeting you all,” Lucas said staring at Tessa. She smiled, he squeezed her hand, and they left, “Thank God for carry- on’s… I can’t wait to get you home,” Lucas whispered and kissed her again. *** They walked in, and he grabbed her, “I’ve missed you.” “Can I show you something?” she smiled. “Yes, please do,” he said his eyes moving over her. She led him out to the deck and asked, “Do you like it?” “Did you do this?” he asked and laughed as he looked around. “All of it?” “Of course, look the smaller ones have your school colors and the big one out there is full of yellow roses, white daisies, and a lilac tree,” she smiled. “It’s awesome Tessa; I can’t believe you did all this. I thought you were back at the farm all week,” he said still looking he took her hand and walked out to see them. “I was home, I did this today,” she whispered and walked towards the porch and plugged in the stringed lights, they had a power backup. He smiled and looked at her, “Wow this is awesome, it’s like we aren’t even in the middle of the city, like home. You miss it don’t you?”
“I do, and you?” she asked. “I do a little,” he admitted. “Well, in three more years’ maybe,” she said and smiled. He looked at her and grinned. “What?” “You, Tessa,” he laughed, “You make me happy.” “I love you. Do you want dinner? We have a grill now. Well… part of a grill,” she laughed. “I want dinner, but I want you first” he took her hand, and they walked inside. He smiled as she lifted his shirt over her head. “Ouch! What happened?” she said looking at the bruise on his rib. “I played with the big boys this week,” he laughed. “Are you sure it’s okay?” she kissed it, he flinched, “Lucas you’re hurt, you need to see a doctor.” “Tessa there is only a couple things I need to see right now,” he smiled as he lifted her shirt. “I’m serious; you could have a broken rib.” “Not right now,” he unclasped he bra and took her breast in his mouth. “Oh God Lucas, we need to go,” she moaned as he sat on the bed leading her down with his mouth. “Can we wait?” he asked and pulled her shorts down and lightly rubbed her below. She moaned, and he took his off. “Please,” he said and laid down, pulling her on top of him. “Yes,” she whimpered, “But promise.” “Yes,” he pulled down her panties. “Nice baby,” he said as he saw she had shaved, “really nice,” he rolled her over to her back. He moved down. “Oh Lucas” she purred. He stayed there for a long time using his tongue and fingers as he licked and sucked and nibbled on her. She screamed out his name and exploded and tightened her legs around him. “Damn, Baby,” he said and she looked at the pain in his eyes. “Let's go,” she sat up. “Hell no,” he laughed and pulled her towards him. “I’m not finished,” he rolled her over on top of him she smiled. “Okay, I will go easy.” “No, again,” his eyes filled with desire. She sat on him and smiled. He held her hands high above her with one hand, and she did all the work as he watched her move. He used his other hand to stimulate her, and she exploded again. She was loud, and he loved it. He flipped her over and stood up. He pulled her legs up so she was half lying in the bed facing down and he wrapped her legs behind him. He slowly moved into her and she moaned loudly. “One more time, baby,” he moved hard and fast into her until he yelled out her name and they blew up together. “Wow Lucas,” she said as he lowered her legs to the ground. She lay bent over the bed, and he rubbed her backside. He grabbed it with both hands and kissed it hard. He took his finger and ran it from front to back and stalled for a bit. “Lucas.” “I know,” he kissed butt and let out a deep breath. He lay on his back and looked at her. “Jell- O baby?” “Yes,” she laughed. “But we need to go to the hospital to take some pictures of you.” “Can we wait until tomorrow?” he asked and ran his fingers through his hair. She threw her bra on, and laughed and walked to the bathroom, “No.”
She came out dressed, and he was falling asleep. “Come on, sleepy head,” she pulled his boxers to his feet. “Alright,” he said and stood up. She handed him a wipe. “You may want to clean that,” she laughed. “Maybe you should,” he said and smiled. “My pleasure,” she said, and his eyes widened. She finished, and he was closing his eyes. “You can drive, right?” She said looking down smiling. “Yes,” he grinned. “Good,” she said and bit her lip. *** They left the hospital and Lucas had three bruised ribs, nothing broken. They told him no practice for three weeks; he informed them SU had a sports medicine doctor that could make that determination. Tessa had ordered out, and they had stopped and grabbed his pain Meds. He walked out on the deck and smiled. “Can we eat out here?” “I would love that.” She walked out, with the food on plates and he was on the phone with his coach, she kissed his head. He hung up. “Everything alright?” “I need to go see the team doctor in the morning,” he pulled her on his lap and gritted his teeth. She stood up, “Sorry.” “I pulled you down,” he laughed. “I get to take care of you,” she smiled.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN “Hey, lover boy, I’m in here,” she yelled from the dining room “I want to show you something.” He kissed her head, “What’s up?” “Remember that Zumba class Carmen taught?” He shook his head and took a bite of an apple. “There’s an instructor’s class in New York City. I think I should do it.” “You want to teach Zumba?” “Yes. I’d be active again, and if I could do a few classes then — Lucas I may be able to stop working and I don’t know…” her face turned red and she looked down, “It’s just an idea.” “Tessa you can stop working now, I can take care of us.” “No, I want to work,” Tessa tried to not be angry, but she was truly growing tired of every time she wanted to do something for her, he tried to stop it. Made her feel insignificant. She wasn’t entirely sure that’s what he was trying to do, but it hurt her. “Well, do it.” “Are you sure?” she asked. “Yeah, could you work when I’m at practice or something?” “I think if I made a schedule and got enough gyms to try it, I could be very available.” “Let’s do it, I bet I could help with the gyms,” he smiled. “No, I do this on my own,” she insisted. “Alright,” he said. “Wait, it’s girls only right?” “I don’t know, does it really matter?” She laughed. “Yes, you’re mine, I don’t want anyone else wanting it.” “Okay… so I think you should stop playing football because that ass in those tight pants in front of thousands of people is mine,” she said standing up and walking towards him she grabbed his butt hard and kissed his face. He smiled and shook his head, “Okay.” She got back on the computer and registered for the class. “Do you want to come with me to the city?” “YES!” “Okay, it's a Sunday, and it's next week.” “Tessa can we have a party next Saturday for some of the guys on the team?” “Sure sounds fun.” *** Tessa cleaned and cooked all day Friday, she wanted everything to be perfect. There was a knock at the door, and her parents, Kendall, and Jake walked in. “Hey,” she said. Tessa had totally forgotten about the weekend she arranged with her mom for the kids to come up. “Tessa did you forget?” Maggie asked. “I did, but we are good, take your things upstairs guys pick a room,” she smiled at Kendall and Jake. They ran upstairs. “Mom — I can’t believe I forgot!” “Well, what do you have planned?” She told her about the party and going to the city, when Lucas walked in.
“Hello John, Maggie… what brings you here?” He asked. “I forgot.” “We can handle it; they’ll have fun, as long as you two don’t mind.” “No, but if Tessa has a class for eight hours it would be silly,” Maggie said. “I can do some things with them,” he offered. “They have never been to the city, Mom doesn’t like it,” Tessa smiled, ‘I can see if I can change the date.” “I got this, they will be in good hands,” Lucas smiled. “Well, how about tomorrow? You two are having a party; they’re a bit young for that,” Maggie said, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” The door bell rang, and Lucas answered the door, “I’ll open the gate: you can take it around back,” he shut the door and smiled at Tessa. “I’ll be right back.” “Tessa it will be too much,” Maggie said. Kendall and Jake stood on the stairs and looked disappointed. “Okay, so how about I bring them home tomorrow, and we hang out here tonight? I’m so sorry.” She said, and Lucas walked in. “I also think we could plan a real trip to the city before school starts if you want, or back up north?” “The city,” Kendall and Jake said at the same time. “Okay, so tonight we plan a trip, maybe see a game and a show,” Lucas said. “But before that, you can all watch as Tessa gets annoyed that I just spent too much money. Come check it out.” They followed him to the back.” It can all move with us in three years when we go back home.” There were men putting together a Gazebo, a tent was going up, and a portable dance floor being set out. “What no pool or hot tub?” Jake laughed. “Not yet. The Gazebo is ours. The other stuff is rented. And the grill will be here soon,” he said and looked at Tessa, “Is that alright?” “Lucas we are supposed to talk before you do it. Discuss things, remember?” she said and looked at him, “But it looks great. Are they going to disturb the plants?” “No, they aren't,” he hugged her. “Your brother and sister can stay for the party Tessa.” “Can we please Mom?” Kendall asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “I think they’d be fine,” John smiled at Maggie. “Fine but if you change your mind, you call alright?” Maggie looked concerned. “Cool,” Jake beamed. *** Tessa helped Kendall do her hair and get ready for the party Lucas, and Jake planned the trip to the city. All the food was done, and they had about thirty minutes before the party started. Jose was the first to arrive and helped them set up food under the tent. They had made pulled pork and chicken there were several salads and a table full of appetizers. “Wow, it looks great out here,” Jose smiled. “Tessa did the landscaping the day we came home from training camp, and she and Kendall made all the food. I said I would have it catered, but she insisted it wasn’t a big deal,” Lucas laughed. Several people started coming in, and within an hour there were over fifty people in their new backyard oasis. Kendall and Jake stuck next to each other and looked nervous. Jose stayed near and talked with them as much as he could.
Lucas introduced Tessa to the new guys on the team, and she smiled warmly to all of them. Coach Brown walked in and came up to Tessa and hugged her. “Hey, piss pot,” Coach Brown smiled. “Hey yourself, old man” she laughed. “Did you do all this?” he asked. “With some help from my sister and brother, Lucas and Jose helped too.” “You better not work him too hard; we need him real bad this year, these clowns look awful.” “How’s the defense? They going to protect him?” “I hope so,” he said. “Good, if not I could come help out,” she smirked and he laughed. “Wow, look at those colors, who did the landscaping?” “I did,” “Really?” he laughed sarcastically. “Yes really,” she smiled. “I’m very talented.” “Why don’t you go make me a plate,” he ordered, smiling. “Right after you kiss my…” she started. “Tessa — be nice,” Lucas’s jaw dropped. Coach Brown laughed and walked away, “Don’t stifle her personality, she’s terrific.” “What’s going on with you and my coach?” Lucas asked confused. “He reminds me of my grandfather but don’t tell him I said that. Lucas, the first words out of his mouth were ‘hey piss pot’ “ she laughed. “I think he can handle me.” Lucas hugged and kissed her. “You can dress her up, and she looks all hot but …” he started. “You better watch it, pal,” she said and walked away as he laughed. The night was fun, there were a lot of girlfriends, and many of them seemed to enjoy looking at Lucas. She did, however, notice many of the new guys watching her and more importantly she noticed Lucas noticing it. Lucas clung to her most of the night. “Kendall, you look beautiful,” Jose said. “Thank you,” she blushed. Tessa and Lucas sat snuggled in a chair watching them. “What’s going on over there?” Tessa asked. “I don’t know, but she could be naked, and he wouldn’t touch her, he’s saving himself for marriage,” he smiled. “Yeah, so was I,” she rolled her eyes and laughed. “Well, you only partway broke that promise to yourself. We just did it before our wedding. So chin up future Mrs. Lucas Links. Oh, by the way, that’s how I want you addressed Mrs. Lucas Links not Mrs. Tessa Links do you got that?” he asked, and she started to elbow him. “Hey, remember the boo- boo baby?” “You are so lucky.” “I know I am,” he said and kissed her. “Do you notice all the guys checking you out?” “Do you notice all the girls checking you out?” They both laughed. “Can I have your attention please,” Coach Brown said and everyone quieted down. “I wanted to thank Lucas and Tessa for hosting this party for all of us. We can have a great season this year, we have some of our old players and many new faces. Remember you’re a team, and we’ll be all set. I was speaking to Tessa earlier, and she asked me how the defense looked. I told her it was going all right. Tessa informed me that if you little girls couldn’t take care of it, she would. She looks sweet and innocent, but I don’t
think any of you want to see her bad side. Believe you me, it’s not pretty.” They all laughed. “I have been on the receiving end, she loves your quarterback take care of him, or I will hire her to boss your asses around.” Tessa hopped up and hugged him and whispered in his ear, “Thank you.” “No, Tessa thank you.” “Alright now I’m going to leave so you guys can get this party started. Tessa you have my number in case you need me to come back right?” she smiled and he pulled her to the side. “Can we talk for a minute alone?” She followed him inside, “He is an amazing player, just as good if not better than Miles. But that boy can’t function unless you are square up his ass. He told me you were going to start some new dance class, I am going to put feelers out I think I can set up some classes here at SU.” She scowled. “It’s not a handout, trust me. I’ve never wanted one of the bimbos to travel with us, but you’re different. I am not asking you to stay if you're unhappy or compromise yourself, but you proved yourself with Miles, and you love this boy. Anything you need Tessa Ross, you little piss pot,” he smiled. “Call me.” “Okay, but don’t ever refer to me as a Bimbo,” she scowled closing the door behind him. “What was that all about?” Lucas asked when she came back outside. “Did you say something about Zumba?” she asked and raised her eyebrows. “Sorry,” he grinned. “As well you should be oh, and he wants me to travel with you?” He smiled, “What did you say?” “I told him no,” she got up and he followed her. “I might change my mind if you dance with me,” she laughed. “Is that all it takes?” “Oh no, there will be more demands later,” she yelled behind her. He laughed and joined her. She motioned for Jose, Kendall, and Jake, and they all danced and laughed. The others started to join them. Tessa watched, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. She kissed Lucas and ran inside to grab more food. The new backup quarterback Mark walked in behind her. “Tessa right?” “Yep, sorry I forgot your name,” she smiled. “Mark, can I help you with anything?” “Sure if you give me a minute.” “No problem,” he sat at the kitchen island. “So where are you from?” “Kansas,” he said, “The middle of nowhere.” “I’m from here, well an hour away, the middle of nowhere as well,” she laughed. “Do you miss home?” “Not yet, it’s been busy.” “Well, if you ever need anything Lucas will help you out. He was in your shoes last year. Oh — and Jose is a great guy,” She smiled. “Well, how about you?” he smiled. “Oh sure, you just won’t see me as much though. There we go, can you carry these?” She asked and handed him cupcakes, “Remember yours are margarita,” she smiled.
“Alright then and what are yours?” “Chocolate Cherry,” she said. They walked out, and Lucas came up and kissed her, “I was wondering where you went.” “Mark here offered to help with the cupcakes. Thank you, Mark,” she smiled. “You are more than welcome,” he said and smiled at her. “Dance with me?” Lucas asked. “Of course,” she said. “I think Mark has a thing for you, Tessa,” he pulled her possessively against him. “I think he is far away from home, and I can almost bet he has sisters that he is missing.” “What do you want to bet, baby?” he smiled. “What are you thinking?” he rubbed his hand down her back and grabbed her butt. “Try again.” “Oh, I will,” he laughed. “That’s not what I was talking about,” she laughed. “Come on just try.” “Alright, if I am wrong you can attempt… if I win — no sex of any type for a month.” “Nope,” he said. “Thank God,” they both laughed. “Mark,” she yelled and motioned him over. “Do you have siblings?” “I do, I have two older sisters,” Mark smiled. “I bet you miss them.” “I do, but don’t tell them that,” he laughed. The three of them went and sat at one of the rented tables. They talked for a long time. Tessa noticed Kendall was dancing with Jose. “That’s my little sister dancing with Jose,” she looked at Lucas. He smiled, “I think he likes her.” “She’s sixteen!” “And he is twenty; it’s only four years difference. So in four of five years it’ll be perfect.” “In four or five years I will completely agree with you,” she scowled. *** They woke up at five in the morning and left by six. They dropped Kendall and Jake off at the farm and headed to the city. They walked into the theater, and she was immediately intimidated. She turned around. “Lucas I can’t do this.” “You can and you will,” he kissed her, “Find out when you have a break, and I’ll come hang out with you.” She looked around and took a deep breath. “I haven’t played a competitive sport in a year, I have ten pounds extra on my ass, and this,” she waved her hand around the theater, “is freaking me out.” “I happen to love your ass, you have never lost your competitive edge, and this Tessa is going to make it possible for us to be together more. It’s going to give you more time with your family and you will no longer have to do whatever it is you do at work. Why don’t I know what a C N A does?” She laughed, “You don’t want to know.” She walked up to the registration desk and handed them her print out. Lucas waited for her. “No lunch break, I would assume we will be done half an hour early, most of these things end early,” she said softly. He kissed and hugged her, “I love you baby, kick ass.”
*** Lucas walked into the theater and saw her sweating, she was better than most of them. He smiled, she looked amazing. His favorite move was the ass shaking and thrusting. There was a contest, and the class participants were being eliminated when they did the moves incorrectly. She was second to the last standing. He watched his girl shaking and jumping around. Tessa won and was given a tank top that said Zumba. She was hanging out with a bunch of the students, laughing and enjoying herself. She saw Lucas standing in the back of the room and smiled and waved to him. He mouthed nice and smiled. “Who is that?” one of the girls asked. “My fiancé Lucas,” Tessa smiled. “Damn girl, he’s fine,” she said and they all agreed. “I agree,” Tessa laughed. The instructor smiled “Can he dance?” “If he can, can we leave early?” Tessa asked. She shook her head yes. “Come here, hot stuff,” she said and he walked over, and he kissed her. “How’s it going, baby?” he asked. “Good, we can all leave early if you can move that fine ass of yours,” she winked at him. “I don’t know,” he shook his head from side to side. “Please,” they all begged. She played a song that he remembered from Florida and he did great, “You owe me big baby,” he yelled, and they all laughed, “And I mean big!” At the end of the song, Lucas grabbed her and swung her around. They all clapped, and he bowed. She went and showered and he sat waiting for her. She smiled at him and laughed as she walked out, “I love you.” “If it wasn’t obvious before that little show, I think you know I love you as well,” Lucas grabbed her hand. “What do you want to do?” “Go to our hotel,” she smiled, “I’m exhausted.” “Can we do dinner first?” “Sure.” “Good, Dad and Audrianna are bringing the girls into the city,” he smiled. They ate dinner and went to central park, Lucas played on the playground with the girls, and she watched him, smiling. “How are things?” Audrianna asked. “Great.” “I’m glad I want you to know I adore you, Tessa.” “Well, I feel the same,” Tessa smiled at her. “Tessa,” Landon said, “Can I talk to you for a moment?” “Sure.” They walked down the path and grabbed ice cream for the girls. “I want to apologize for what I said at the shower. My wife kindly pointed out that if one of our girls were dating Lucas, I would probably have killed him by now.” She wondered where he was going with this and felt a little defensive. “Lucas is a good person, he is kind, he has a big heart, and he works hard at everything he does.” “I agree Tessa, but what I said to you was wrong, it isn’t your responsibility, it was mine,” he said
softly. “So I’m apologizing for my behavior.” “Well, I accept your apology,” she smiled. “We’re going to have to deal with one another for a very long time, so can we just put that past us?” “Of course and thank you,” he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They said goodbye to the princesses and they hugged Tessa. “I love you,” she said to them. They giggled “We love you, too.” They went back to the hotel and rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor. She walked into their suite and smiled. “You look tired, baby,” Lucas kissed her head. “I am. Are you?” she asked sort of hoping he would say yes. “No, not at all, I napped while you were at your class,” his eyes raked over her, “I’m wide awake.” “I guess so,” she smiled. “I should probably pay up.” She unbuttoned his jeans, and they dropped to the floor she pulled his boxers down and pushed him on the bed so that he sat on the edge. She took him in her mouth, and he pulled her curls back so that he could watch her. “Damn Tessa don’t stop baby, but that’s not what you’re going to owe me,” he chuckled. She continued and decided she was going to wear him out so that she didn’t have to do whatever it was he had going on in his dirty little mind. She moved slowly and went faster and when she felt him tense up she would slow down. By the time, she finished her mouth hurt. “Thank you,” he said. She walked to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She came out, and he laid her on the bed and slowly undressed her and went down. He went slowly as well she knew he was trying to wear her down to but she didn’t care she was in heaven on earth. “Lucas I want you inside of me,” she begged. He moved his tongue faster and lightly bit. She yelled out his name and finally the light pulses turned into fire and she felt her body explode. She closed her eyes and smiled and rolled over. He pulled her to the foot of the bed and he slowly rubbed her back down to her butt. He reached under her and pulled her up to her knees. He bent her over and caressed her. “Lucas, please I don’t want that,” she said as he rubbed his finger over her. “Shhh,” he whispered in her ear. He kissed down her back and finally he placed himself inside her, and she moaned loudly. “Is this alright baby,” his fingers dug into her hips “Yes,” she moaned and laughed. “Are you laughing at me?” he asked moving faster. “No, at me,” she moaned. “You should trust me,” he was trying his best to hold back. “Sorry… oh Lucas,” she whimpered. “I would never hurt you baby,” he moved faster and harder, “Fuck, you feel so good.” They finished together, and she collapsed on the bed. “I can’t believe you thought I would without you agreeing to it,” he laughed. “Well, the way you’ve been obsessing over it, I was a bit worried,” she laughed. He smiled and laughed, “I’ve enjoyed making you squirm.” Tessa smacked him and rolled over off the bed and went to the bathroom. Her phone rang, and he grabbed it out of her bag. “Hello…Yes, is this Maggie... she did great… oh, okay... it’ll take about four hours to get there, we’ll leave now… yes, I’ll drive carefully… Alright… No, it’s not a problem at all she is going to want to be
there. We’ll see you soon.” She stood in the bathroom door and looked concerned. He stood up and smiled. “Your sister is in labor, we need to go. Can I jump in the shower for a couple minutes?” “Yes but please...” she started He kissed her “I’ll hurry; it’s probably going to be a long night you want to jump in with me? I promise I won’t touch you.” “It’s not you I’m worried about,” she said quietly walking passed him and looking down at his naked lower half. He laughed, and she joined him in the shower. “Can you do it fast?” she asked leaning against his chest. He laughed “Probably not.” “Well, can you at least try?” she asked and stomped her foot splashing water. He laughed, “No, get out.” She smiled at him, “That’s twice.” “I am doing this for you.” She laughed, “I’m just joking.” “Good because I would much rather do you then go sit in a hospital all night,” he laughed as they threw their things in the bags. *** They walked into the hospital and rode to the third floor, they walked by the waiting room, and Kendall stopped them. “She’s almost ready.” Five minutes later Maggie walked out and announced the birth of Sydney Marie eight pounds eleven ounces twenty- three inches long. Tessa cried and hugged her Mom. “I want to see her,” she laughed. “Two at a time.” Tessa and Alex went in first. “Congratulations.” Tessa hugged Molly. Molly was already nursing. “She’s beautiful look at that hair! Hi Sydney — I’m Aunt Tessa and this guy here is Uncle Alex, but he doesn’t want to see your Mommy’s boobies,” Molly laughed, “We are going to be best of friends.” After everyone had gone in, Lucas went to meet her. He, of course, ran down to the gift store and bought flowers, a big stuffed bunny, and a card. *** They walked in the house, and he looked at Tessa. “She looks like you,” Lucas smiled softly. She hugged him and cried. “Tessa, please be okay.” “I am, she’s perfect I’m so happy for Molly and Cory,” she said. “I think I’m just tired.” “I know you are” he kissed her head. “Someday Tessa, when we’re older, we’re going to have one just like her.” She laughed, “I know, are you alright?” He shook his head, “I am, it’s getting easier, what you said about Tommy. Having him and ours and the
other one…” he laughed, “Holy shit… his lap must be full.” They both laughed and walked upstairs and took comforted in each other the way they always did.
CHAPTER NINETEEN The next few weeks went by, and everything was great. Tessa had booked four classes; each had twenty women per class. She was happy and making enough money that she could quit her other job. She did stop working every other Saturday, but hadn’t quit completely yet. She was saving money for a rainy day. Lucas was amazing. He was doing well in school, and on the football field — he shined. Tessa attends every game, and he looked to her every touchdown. Each touchdown he throws or makes he gets a treat, so he smiles at her after every one of them. “You ready to pay up?” he asked as they walked in the house after his game. She smiled at him, “I always do.” “No, I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about our New York City deal,” he smiled. “Okay,” she said, “Do tell.” Tessa opened the refrigerator and grabbed the chicken and veggie pack she had marinating. He grabbed the tongs and a plate. “Monday you’re coming to my practice and putting on a class,” he smiled. She laughed, “Really? You want all those boys watching me shake my, or as you said, your ass all over?” “I’ll be there. You trying to talk me out of this?” he laughed. “Nope,” she laughed. “Not at all, but you haven’t even been to a class.” Tessa put the food on the grill. “You going to help me out, teach me a couple dances?” “Sure” she smiled, “Do you want to now?” “I want to now,” he laughed. “Try to keep up,” she laughed and threw her shirt on the ground. “Do you think you can?” Tessa turned around and took her pants off and ran inside and grabbed shorts for both of them. She plugged the iPod in and threw his shorts at him. “I would prefer you stay like that,” he laughed. They danced, and he did his best to keep up. She laughed the whole time, and he did too. “Lucas, we need a shower,” she wrinkled her nose up and took the food off the grill. She ran upstairs throwing her clothes as she took them off. He chuckled and ran behind her. Monday she emailed Adam and told him she could not make her lesson as she had to teach a class. She showed up at the training center a few minutes early, and Lucas met her. “You ready?” Lucas smiled. “I’m very ready are you?” She set up her playlist and went into change. She came out in black baggy long shorts and the very tight tank top, the one she had won at the class in NYC. She wore a bandana over her head. Everyone was ready, and when she walked out, she smiled. She introduced herself and explained the dance workout, including, samba, meringue, some martial arts and even belly dancing. She told them it was hot in Columbia and would definitely be mainstream someday soon. She explained that it was alright if they couldn’t keep up many of them laughed, and she smirked and shook her head. She started with a warm up, and Lucas stood directly behind her. After three songs, she took a water break. She looked around and more than half the team was standing against the wall.
“Your boys are a bunch of pussies,” she whispered to Lucas as she walked back to the front. “Baby your mic’s on,” he laughed. She closed her eyes and snickered. “Good, alright skirts off little girls, it’s time to step it up,” she took her long shorts off, and she had on spandex shorts. She looked back at Lucas and his eyes wide, and she smirked. He didn’t know these next few songs, and they were much faster, more hips moving, lots of pelvic thrusts, booty shaking, and a lot of jumping. After three songs, she took a drink and looked around. Three left standing, Lucas, Jose, and Mark. She started the next song, and they all got up and gave it another shot. This song was the most risqué. She turned and faced them, and most of them had stopped and just stood watching Lucas was undoubtedly annoyed by their reaction. She cocked her eyebrow and then winked at him. The next song started, and thirty seconds into it he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. “You asked for this, hot stuff,” she laughed. “Yeah and now I’m going to take it home and take it out on you in…” he stopped talking when he heard his voice over the speakers. “Your microphone is on baby,” he chuckled she laughed and took it off. “Jose” she yelled, “Could you grab my stuff?” “Sure thing Tessa,” Jose laughed. “You’re in so much trouble,” he said as he put her in the SUV. “I drove Lucas, I’ll follow you home.” “No, we can come back.” “Are you mad at me?” “I don’t think mad is the word,” he said, “But I think you should leave those dances out.” “I’m going to drive and meet you at home.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond. She jumped in the Jeep. She pulled in behind him, and he unlocked the door and watched her walk up and she looked nervous. He fought not to smile. She walked up to him and looked down and hugged him, and they walked inside. She swallowed hard and said, “Do you want me to fix dinner?” “Nope,” he led her upstairs. He started the shower, and they got in he pushed her against the wall and kissed her she laughed. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” he raised his eyebrow. He turned her around and kissed her back. He grabbed the body soap and washed her body, and she went to touch him. “Oh no — hands off baby.” She smiled and washed her hair. He kissed her all over except those places that she really wanted him to. They got out of the shower, and he lightly dried her off. He led her to the bed and went into the closet and came out with the bag. He grabbed her arms and tied them to the headboard. “Lucas I don’t want all those things, I want you,” she said softly. “But this is alright isn’t it?” he asked as he tightened the silky fabric that held her arms up. “As long as you're nice,” she said nervously. “Oh, I will be,” he kissed her body for what felt like forever. He sat back and looked at her and grabbed himself. “You want this, baby?” “Yes Lucas, I want you.” He grabbed her feet and kissed all the way up her leg, and she moved her hips towards him and he avoided her. “Please Lucas,” she begged. He continued to tease her body for a long time and she was getting angry, and he knew it. He smiled
and knelt on the bed and lifted her legs over his shoulder and moved towards her she had never wanted him more and he knew it. He started to push into her, and she screamed out. He sat back and smiled. “You’re an ass Lucas!” He got up and grabbed a drink and looked at her helplessly lying there full of anger and desire. “You look so hot,” he said resuming the position he had left and moved quickly into her. It only took a couple minutes, and her body blew up. He smiled and continued for a long time until they climaxed together. He untied her hands and smiled. “You’re mean,” she said breathlessly as she smiled up at him. “That’s what it felt like tonight, watching you.” She tried to get up and she started laughing. “I’m quite sure it didn’t feel exactly like this. I can’t even move.”
CHAPTER TWENTY “Happy Birthday, Lucas,” she kissed him. “Happy New Years, Baby,” he kissed her back. Tessa was the designated driver for Lucas and a few of his friends, as he was twenty- one. The guys tried to get her to take them to a strip club. “Are you crazy?” she laughed. “You only turn twenty- one once baby.” “You have a better chance of seeing God,” she walked away. It had been a year since her pregnancy failed. They both acknowledged it and it had gotten easier. Tessa received a message from Ben that day. - Tess, I was thinking about you today. I hope everything is going well. I’m in England and loving it here. School is great, and I finally think I know what I want to be when I grow up, lol. I have met someone who seems normal, I hope to introduce you to her this summer I may need your stamp of approval. I missed seeing you all at camp. Tell Lucas I said hello…Ben - BEN!!! I miss your face! I am so glad you’re happy. I don’t know anyone more deserving and I can’t wait to meet her, I can’t wait to see you. LOTS and LOTS of hugs, Your friend Tessa Wow, she thought and felt an emptiness in her stomach. She really was happy for him and meant every bit of what she had said — but wow. Everywhere they went people recognized SU’s star quarterback. He was a local hero. He said he didn’t like it, but she could tell otherwise. She was happy that things were going so well for him. Tessa had to grovel after she missed two lessons with Adam, but she worked hard and proved she wanted it. She was doing well and really loved playing. She practiced every day. She was going to start on Thursday nights with voice lessons. Together they had done so well. She couldn’t believe it had been five months without issue. They had both grown up so much. She wasn’t bored of him at all, and he seemed happier than ever. Monday nights when she was at piano lessons he would hang out with the guys at a local pub. She would drop them off and pick them up every week. “Hey Baby,” he said when she walked in. She kissed him and sat down. The bartender sat a glass of tea in front of her, and she thanked her. Monday was wing and football night, and about every two weeks they stayed and ate as they watched the game until half time. Tessa played darts with some of the guys and had a couple advantages. The first she was sober, and the next was she had shot bow since she was seven. “Lucas I’m finally going to start voice lessons on Thursday at seven pm. Is that alright?” she asked. “Sure, are you excited?” he smiled. She smiled and shook her head yes. She dropped them off at the pub on Thursday. She wasn’t sure if two nights were necessary, but she didn’t say anything. Lucas didn’t drink very much at all, and her lesson was only an hour long. When her lesson finished, Adam asked her to sit. “How do you think that went?” he asked.
“I loved it,” she smiled. “And I know I can do better.” “Don’t sell yourself short Tessa — you have an amazing voice and near perfect pitch. That’s why I insisted on piano first,” he sat back, “Do you like piano?” “I do very much, thank you for talking me into it, or should I say bullying me into it,” she laughed. He smiled. Adam was very good looking if you were into that type. He had a beautiful smile when he actually smiled. He had great hair and soft brown eyes. “Is that what you think I was doing?” “No, I don’t. I was trying to be funny,” she blushed. He smiled again, “I have seen two emotions out of you happy and angry. But when you sang tonight, and at that little fair, you poured everything into it.” “Maybe because they’re my two favorites,” she smiled. “How is angry a favorite?” he asked “You’re asking me that?” she laughed. “You always seem angry.” “I do not,” he said without emotion. She looked at him, “Okay maybe it’s just serious all the time.” They sat and looked at each other, and he ran his hand through his hair. “Alright then, see you Monday Tessa,” he stood up. “Are you alright?” she asked concerned. “Yes thank you,” he said and they walked out, and he locked the door. “Good night Adam,” she walked to the Jeep. He seemed kind of tortured, she thought when she pulled in front of the pub. Tessa walked in, and the place was packed. She looked through the crowd for Lucas and saw he and Mark surrounded by a bunch of young women. She knew she wasn’t getting through that crowd, so she sat and watched him laugh and talk. She saw a redhead lick Marks neck, do a shot and bite a lemon. He laughed, and Lucas did too. She saw him shake his head no and then saw a girl rub a lemon on his neck and pour salt on it, she immediately felt sick she stood up and pushed through the crowd in time to see her lick his neck and do a shot. She watched his lips curl up slightly at the girl and then he saw her and his jaw dropped. She turned and walked away, and followed. She was pulling away as he ran out the door. He yelled for her, and she saw him in the rearview mirror. Her phone rang. “What?” She snapped. “Please come back and get me,” he slurred. “No, I think you can get a ride,” she hung up. She went inside and went into the spare bedroom and locked the door. She heard him come up the stairs and he banged on the door. “Tessa, open the door.” She knew he was drunk and that he could get in, so she unlocked it and stood in the doorway. “It was completely harmless,” his voice defeated. “Okay, I don’t want to fight I’m tired, and you’re drunk,” she tried to shut the door. He put his hand on it to stop it from shutting. “Come to bed with me, please.” “No, thank you,” she said and felt her eyes heating up. “Tessa, I know you have more to say, let’s get this over with now and not let it drag out for three weeks,” he slurred. “I have nothing to say, Lucas,” she said and walked to the bed. “Bullshit! You’re pissed over a harmless body shot,” he said, “It wasn’t a big deal.” “Okay, I’m going to sleep,” she laid down and pulled the covers around her tightly.
He got in bed with her and pulled her into him. “No, not sleep yet,” he kissed her neck. She felt sick and jumped up and went to the bathroom and threw up. He walked in and pulled her hair back and rubbed her back. She threw up again. “You’re not feeling well, baby?” She turned around and gave him a dirty look, “No, I feel sick to my stomach.” “Sleep in our bed.” She grabbed pajamas and walked into the bathroom and shut the door. She walked out, and he was passed out on the bed. She woke up in the morning and looked around her spare bedroom. She was so pissed she could scream. She walked downstairs to get a drink and he was leaning against the counter looking very hung over. He looked at her with puppy dog eyes and looked down. “I hope you know that I didn’t ask for that, and it really wasn’t a big deal. I know I wouldn’t want you to allow that to happen to you. I fucked up. I’m very sorry. I won’t go back there on Thursday nights again, Tessa.” She got a drink and walked to the computer. She checked her emails and sent out her weekly newsletter to the women in her classes. He came in with fruit and toast. “I hope you’re not sick still,” he pulled up a chair next to her. “I’m not sick.” “You threw up last night.” “Yeah, because I was disgusted,” she continued typing. He put his hand on hers, “I’m sorry.” “I’m sure you are.” His phone rang, and he answered it. “Hey…Yeah, I am… No, I don’t think I’m going to make it…No man.” “You may want to walk away — I can hear the other side of that conversation tell Mark hello,” she said sarcastically. He looked at her and continued “Thursday nights are out, I’d be pissed if some guy licked her neck. I don’t think she wants a party…alright talk to you later.” He looked at her, she logged on to Facebook. She clicked on her messages, and Ben had sent her one. He reached over and clicked on it, she sat back. - I’m so pleased you replied, I miss your face too, lol. I’ll be up in July can’t wait to see you guys, Your friend … Ben “You two talk a lot?” he asked annoyed. “No, and he also doesn’t lick my neck, nor would I let him,” she snapped. “No, you just lick his… damn it,” he stood up and kicked the chair over. “You don’t even get to walk away,” she grabbed his hand. She clicked on the button to load earlier messages. “Now read what that was in response to,” she stood up, “Sit, I have nothing to hide!” Tessa walked away and left him to the computer. He walked into the kitchen, “What’s the ‘miss your face’ shit, Tessa?” “I miss my friend who happens to have a cute baby face. A friend that doesn’t think it’s alright to try to lick my neck,” she said sternly. “He is in love with you Tessa, he told me that at your sister’s shower. You still talk to him! A stranger did a body shot off of me, someone I’ll never see again. You can’t see why that pisses me off?” he pointed
to the computer She looked confused, “No, I chose you. I don’t fall into sexual situations with random people and enjoy it! As far as Ben goes Lucas, he’s my friend! I’ve known him forever I didn’t know he felt like that.” “How does it make you feel? Do you like it?” he yelled. “No Lucas — I don't like to hurt people! Not at all,” tears came to her eyes. “And I certainly don’t enjoy being hurt!” She ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door. He walked in, and she was sitting on the floor trying to process everything. He took a shower and walked out and got running clothes on. “I’ll be back. I’m sorry, I fucked up again! It was nothing Tessa, nothing at all to me!” He came back an hour later, and she was in the shower. “Can I come in?” he asked softly. “Yes.” He hugged her, and she cried. He led her to the bed, and they made love softly, gently. “Can you forgive me?” “Yes.” “Thank you.” Nothing much changed. Tessa took her lessons and taught her class. She didn’t go home often and missed her family very much. She questioned why, but when she dug deep, she knew how truly repulsive the answer was. She didn’t like to leave him alone. He’d prefer her to be with him all the time. Always on his terms, of course. And in the deepest part of her she didn’t trust him at all. Maggie and John decided to finally use the vacation certificate that Landon had given them for Christmas on Spring break. Tessa was excited that she was going with them. Lucas was very focused on school he was at the top of his class. He took more classes in the Spring hoping that his final semesters would be light. He was asked to go train with The Browns again over Spring Break. Tessa felt that this was Miles’ way of trying to make- up for his fake girlfriend sucking, but she didn’t tell Lucas that she didn’t want to hurt is feelings. Tessa was packing, and so was Lucas. “You look excited, Lucas,” she watched him. “You’ve looked like you were going to burst since your parents asked you to join them.” “I want you to be there, but I know you’d rather, well… I know it’s a good opportunity,” she tried to zip her over- stuffed bag. He laughed, “Don’t you think you are under packing? I mean you might be able to fit some more in there.” She laughed and climbed on it, and she turned in a circle as she zipped it around. “See? Perfect,” she hopped down. He grabbed her and kissed her. She smiled. “Do you need any help?” she offered. “Yes as a matter of fact, I do,” he said and put her hand on him. She smiled and went down on her knees. He pulled his semi hard erection from his pants and rubbed its tip across her lips, “Kiss it baby.” Tessa did as he asked, he smiled and his gaze darkened. He stroked himself and then ran it across her lips again, “You gonna miss sucking my cock, Tessa?” She shook her head yes, “Kiss it again, Baby.” She leaned in and kissed it and then licked around its tip, “That’s my girl, suck me hard and fast. I wanna fill your mouth.”
*** He went through security and sat and waited for her flight to be called, he had two hours to sit and wait. He opened his carry on and handed her the last two books in the series she had not yet finished. She smiled. “Is this supposed to keep me busy?” “Yeah, I guess,” he smiled. “I think you should read the first two.” “Why is that?” “To keep you busy,” she smiled. They called her flight, and she stood up, “That’s me.” “I’m going to miss you,” he pulled her into him. “I’ll miss you too,” she kissed him. “Please be careful, don’t come home all banged up this time.” He reached down and tilted her chin up and kissed her again, a very gentle sweet kiss. She loved when he kissed her softly. Not that she minded the tongue, but this was her favorite. “I love you,” she said. “I love you,” he kissed her head. “Fly safe,” she said over her shoulder. “You too,” he said and watched her hand her ticket to the attendant and get on the plane. She landed in Myrtle Beach and smiled when she saw Alex and Phoebe, they had gotten there two days ago, Tessa wanted to leave the day Lucas did. They went to the beach house, and everyone was there. She was so happy, she smiled at Sydney, who was in her swing. She picked her up and kissed her face. “You’re perfect,” she said, “I love you so much.” Maggie watched and wondered how Tessa was dealing with her loss. She knew how big her heart was and that like her, she felt like she needed to take care of others to feel worthy. “Hello Tessa” she hugged her. “How was your flight?” “It was good Mom,” she said and looked around, “This place is amazing.” Kendall and Jake came inside from the beach. She smiled and hugged them. “Get changed and come out,” Jake said. “There are waves, Tessa!” She walked out with Sydney and kissed her Dad on the cheek. “Glad you made it,” he smiled. They ate dinner, and Tessa held Sydney the whole time. Her phone chimed, and it was him - I hope you made it Tessa I haven’t heard from you, I’m here and safe... LL She took a picture of her and Sydney both smiling and sent it - Sorry Lucas, as soon as I walked in she smiled at me, and it was over. She is getting tired can I call you when she goes to sleep?... LT - of course, I love you… LL Tessa laid with Sydney until she fell asleep and then Tessa snuck out of the room. She called Lucas. “Hello,” he said. “Hi, our beautiful niece just fell asleep,” she said he could tell she was smiling. “The picture was nice, I swear Tessa she looks just like you,” he said softly. She laughed and was quiet for a moment, “How are the dorms?” “Actually Miles has a house here, a bunch of us are staying, much better than the dorms,” he laughed. “Oh, that’s nice.”
“It’s pretty sweet.” “Well, I’m going to let you go Jake and Kendall, and I are thinking about walking. The tide is out and they want to search for shells so goodnight Lucas, I love you,” she said softly. “You too baby,” he said and hung up. She went outside, and everyone was sitting around the fire. She sat with them, and as they laughed and talked she realized how much she missed them. She missed them so much. Every time she was with them she realized just how much. “You okay?” Phoebe asked. “Yeah, I just miss this.” “You're only an hour away Tessa” she smile, “Come home more, they miss you too.” They all went to bed. Tessa couldn’t sleep, she opened the laptop and checked out Facebook, she looked at Miles page and saw pictures of the house, it was beautiful. She saw Jenny in one of them and cringed. She looked closer at the pictures and saw Jenny in many of them. His phone chimed, and it was her - Lucas does Jenny live there?... Tessa - Not that I am aware of, haven’t seen her here, lots of other people in and out, it’s late baby can I call you tomorrow?... LL - Goodnight… Tessa Tessa was pissed, Not that I’m aware of? Really you couldn’t ask that before you went for a week. She couldn’t sleep she grabbed her book and started to read. She woke up and had a message - will call you later, overslept, have to go... LL Tessa went for a run on the beach and came home and cooked breakfast. Molly walked down with Sydney and everything was all better. That little girl could make everything better, she just had. Tessa told Molly to go back to bed for an hour, and she fed Sydney and played on the floor. “You made breakfast, you always have got up so early Tessa. Good morning, Miss Sydney,” Maggie kissed them both. The Ross’s went and did some touristy things and swam and played all day. She was tired from the sun and surf, and crashed early with Sydney. She woke up and she’d missed a call, and he sent a message. - could you please call me, Tessa? “Hey, Lucas I’m sorry I fell asleep with Sydney, too much sun today, how are you?” she asked. “Hang on,” she heard the door shut. “Sorry, I just wanted privacy. Well apparently, Jenny does live here, I haven’t seen her… so maybe she’s away.” “Oh,” she said. “You’re mad?” “I don’t know… why wouldn’t he tell you, warn you about that?” “Baby I don’t know,” he said frustrated. “Do you trust me?” Hell no, she wanted to scream. But instead, “Yes Lucas,” she said softly. “Then no worries, Tessa, I’ll lock my door,” he laughed. “Okay.” “I love you, Tessa.”
“I love you.” Tessa read her book until she fell asleep. She slept until ten in the morning and woke up not feeling well. Maggie walked in her room. “Are you okay Tessa?” “No, my stomach’s off.” “Sydney was throwing up all night, apparently someone at daycare had the bug last week,” Maggie said. “Is she okay, Mom?” she stood up and covered her mouth, “Oh no.” Tessa ran to the bathroom and threw up. The next two days she stayed in her room, she didn’t want anyone else to get sick. She told Lucas, and he sent flowers. Maggie brought them into her, Yellow roses and white daisies. “You’re sick, not dying,” Maggie laughed and so did Tessa. “And I’m feeling better now, and I shouldn’t be contagious, and wow… on the last day,” Tessa laughed. Tessa grabbed the computer and checked out Facebook again, she hadn’t checked it in a few days and was very curious. She saw the guys at dinner, and Jenny was there, at the pool and Jenny was there, on the field and she was in the stands and her favorite in the kitchen just Jenny and Lucas sitting there talking with her hand on his leg. His phone chimed, and it was her - log on to my FB account and click on Miles page, don’t take too much time thinking. Give me a call…T Her phone rang five minutes later. “What do you want me to do Tessa?” he asked annoyed. “I don’t know tell me she is there, don’t be alone with her and hey how about not letting her touch your leg. Some friend Miles is Lucas — or did he tell you, and you just didn’t tell me?” she said pissed off. “Grow up,” he snapped, “Nothing happened, you know this is insane! Why are we together if you can’t trust me?” “Why don’t you ask yourself the same thing? You obviously don’t trust me enough to tell me! Are you worried I may go out and find someone to rub my legs, Lucas? Oh and we’re together because I am an idiot!” she yelled and hung up. *** Her plane landed, and she had hoped his was delayed. She wanted to get back before him so she could get out of there. She tried to hurry. She looked down as she was walking towards the exit and she felt an arm around her waist. “Slowdown, baby,” he laughed and kissed her neck. She glared back at him. “Oh, you really are pissed at me,” he laughed. He grabbed her hand, “You’ll get over it once it sinks in your over reacting — again.” She felt stupid and wanted to cry, she just let it go and walked with him. They got home, and he smiled at her, “I love you, don’t be mad. I didn’t know, and nothing happened Tessa… she’s fucking the kicker, and loving the life Miles provides for her.” “That's disgusting,” she said. “They’re adults and it's their choice,” he kissed her neck, “You smell good, baby.”
He started pulling her shirt off. “Lucas I still don’t feel all that well.” “Oh, well let’s get you into bed then,” he said and walked upstairs and took her shirt off and grabbed a nightgown. “Baby if I go easy, please may I?” he asked lightly caressing her chest. Her body responded, “See they like it.” It felt good even if she was pissed. She trusted that nothing had happened. “Lucas why didn’t you leave?” she asked. “I don’t know, why didn’t you tell me to,” he asked as he rubbed her body. “I don’t know,” she said and closed her eyes and laid back He was gentle and slow. She was still pissed, but she believed him. She fell asleep in his arms. *** Tessa dropped the boys off at the Pub and drove to her lesson. She walked into the theater a little early. She waited in the lobby and Adam walked out with a girl holding hands, and she was fixing her hair, his pants were undone and his shirt was off. She looked down, and he smirked and buttoned his pants. “You’re early,” he grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. “See you next week,” he said holding the door opened for the women. “Come on,” he said and Tessa followed him in. Tessa sat and played and he listened and stared at her, he didn’t criticize her as much today as he normally did, and when she finished he told her that it was a nice job. “Wow,” she smiled. “What?” “Maybe you should give her lessons every day... you seem much more relaxed,” she laughed. “Very funny.” She looked at him, “Can I ask you a question?” “Shoot.” “Is she your girlfriend?” “No.” “Do you have a lot of friends like that?” “Why Tessa do you want to be one of them?” he asked. “NO!” she yelled. “Why are you asking then?” he said and started writing in her book. “I was just curious about how men think.” “Trouble in paradise?” he continued writing. “I don’t think so…” she stopped. He looked up and leaned back in his chair. “It easier, it’s new, the shorter the relationship is, the less you have to work at it. There isn’t that disappointing look when you give the wrong gift or say the wrong thing, am I explaining well enough for you or hitting on the subject you are too afraid to ask about?” “I get it but why isn’t it nice to look at someone and know what their thinking, know what they need, or just know how they like to be touched?” “Well, I guess that’s nice, but really does it last?” he asked. “Take you and your boyfriend. Do you know what he is thinking and how he likes to be touched?” “In certain situations.” “Like what?”
She thought about it, “Well honestly, sex. I know when he wants it, which is all the time and how it likes it, which is” she stopped and she opened her eyes, “Sorry.” He laughed, “Sex isn’t hard to figure out. It’s all that other stuff.” “Okay, so a man goes away for a week and a girl, or pig as I like to call her, stays in the same place the whole week. Should he be trusted?” she asked. “Did they have sex before?” “No, she gave him a blowjob.” she said, “But he stopped her.” “If she is willing and he’s curious then, no.” “Oh,” she said looking down. “Can you tell by looking at them if there is something there?” Tessa stood up and reached over his shoulder and signed on to Facebook.” “This is the one,” she pointed. “I don’t know,” he said uncomfortably. “No look at them do you see, I hate that you sucked my dick or let's go screw?” “Wow, this is completely uncomfortable,” he side sliding under her arm and standing up. “Oh… sorry,” she said, “But what do you think?” “Tessa you said ‘suck my dick’ and ‘let's go screw,’ as you were draped over me” he laughed. “That’s kind of messed up.” “Oh God, I’m sorry,” she started grabbing her stuff. He grabbed her hand and brought her over to the chair. “His hands aren’t on her Tessa. In each picture he’s not looking at her, he looks very comfortable in this one,” he pointed to the one that she was touching him. “If he hated her, he probably wouldn’t be so comfortable around her. But trust me I’m not an expert at all. I’m sorry.” “Why? Do you not want to get married and have kids and be I don’t know normal?” “I have a beautiful little girl and normal just didn't work out for me.” “Why? Did you cheat? Oh, I’m sorry,” Tessa’s jaw dropped, and she covered her mouth. “Very personal questions,” he said. “I wanted normal, or my idea of normal. My wife had our child a year after we were married and then had my best friend a year later. It doesn’t always work out the way you intend.” “I’m sorry Adam, I just thought you were like Lucas used to be, or is, I don’t know,” she said frustrated. “How many boyfriends have you had?” he smiled and she looked down, “He’s it isn’t he?” Tessa shook her head yes. “You’ll be fine, just remember that you matter too. I see you putting him before you, and you’re a baby, so young. I don’t want that for my daughter, to not think she is worth just as much as whoever is lucky enough to date her. I’m not saying anything, but guard your heart Tessa and your happiness.” “Thank you, I’m sorry for making this awkward.” “Just don’t forget I’m an ass alright?” he said in his customary unattached tone. “Hey Adam, do you think those girls you screw don’t really want more than that?” “Mind your business and get out,” he smiled. “See you Thursday.” She walked into the pub, and a group of them were playing darts. There were a lot of people there, more than usual. She walked up to the bar and sat, Lucas came out of the bathroom and smiled. “Hey there,” he kissed her. “Hi,” she hugged him. “Hey, hot buns, you’re up,” a girl yelled to him. “Can I finish this game before we leave?” he smiled. “Sure.” She hated feeling jealous and maybe that was the problem. She ordered a glass of wine and a shot,
they never even asked for ID. She put quarters up on the pool table. “You ready to get your butt kicked?” she asked the guy who won the last game. He laughed, “Are we playing partners?” “No, one on one,” she said, “You break.” “You any good?” “I don’t know, this is my first time,” she said, and they laughed. They played, and he gave her pointers he taught her how to hold the stick and she actually hit a few in. The game was over, and she lost. She shook his hand and thanked him and smiled as she walked to Lucas. “What are you doing?” Lucas asked displeased. “Playing pool, why?” “Nice Tessa, real nice. Let’s go,” he grabbed her hand. “I had two drinks we need to stay awhile,” she whispered in his ear. “What?” he looked at the bartender, “She isn’t twenty- one!” “Sorry… I didn’t know,” the bartender rolled her eyes. “What the hell was that for?” Tessa asked “You don’t get to act like that,” he said through clenched teeth. “Like what Lucas?” “Like that, playing pool with strangers and drinking,” he was livid. She smiled and shook her head she whispered in his ear, “But it’s alright for you?” “It’s different!” “Yes it is, fuck you Lucas,” she said and stood up. He followed her out. “Fuck me?” he yelled. “I could have anyone in that bar! I picked you and you're being a bitch!.” She laughed as she got in the Jeep. “So could I asshole!” she flipped him off as she pulled away. She drove home to the farm and snuck in and slept on the couch. Her phone chimed it was him - where the fuck are you?... Lucas - exactly where I should be, home… Tessa - Good come get your shit tomorrow, oh most of it isn’t yours I’ll throw your shit on the lawn… Lucas - Do whatever or whoever it is that makes you happy Lucas … Tessa *** Tessa woke up before her parents and showered. She drove to Syracuse opened the door walked in. The place was a mess he had thrown a major fit or a major party. She went back out to the Jeep and grabbed some boxes. She walked quietly into the kitchen and started packing the few things that were hers that she knew he wouldn’t need. Her Kitchen Aid blender and some silver that was her grandmother’s. She grabbed the pictures off the wall and shook her head. He walked into the kitchen. “Make sure you don’t touch my shit!” “I won’t touch your shit ever again,” she smirked, be pissed Tessa, just stay pissed. “It’s real funny isn’t it,” he asked grabbing a glass and pouring milk. “Actually it is, I am leaving, we are ending this because I played pool, when your sense of humor returns someday maybe you too, will find humor in it.” She walked into the bathroom, “Nice could you flush the toilet?”
“What are you talking about?” he walked in the bathroom. “The toilet,” she looked at him, and he looked confused, “Company last night Lucas?” She walked past him and grabbed the conditioner and toothbrush that she had downstairs and walked out the door. She ran upstairs and shut the bedroom door. He stormed in. “I don't need you hovering,” she walked past him. “I want to make sure you only take your things!” “Oh, now I’m an untrustworthy, whore,” she laughed. She grabbed the album she had made of her in all the outfits he had bought her. “That’s mine!” He was so angry. She took off the ring and threw it at him, “Here, I’ll trade you.” “I don’t want that,” he screamed. “Neither do I! Here’s an idea… take it to your friend Jenny,” she laughed. “That’s what this is about?” he yelled, “You are truly fucking stupid.” “No, Lucas I’m not! You’re an asshole,” she grabbed some clothes. “What the hell did you want me to do?” he hollered. “Here’s an idea smart guy, leave! Come spend your break with your girlfriend and not the people who caused us so much grief a year and a half ago,” she shook her head. “How about you leave now and I’ll pack your shit and send it to you!” “No, that’s alright I’ll take what I can now, and then you can tell me when you won’t be here so I can get the rest,” she yelled back. “NO, not without me here!” “Fine then shut up so I can do this. It’ll be much quicker that way and then you can go fucking play with whatever bar whore or football groupie you want to,” she screamed. “Or you can go play pool with whoever is next on your list to fucking con into believing you're worth letting in. You are such a deceitful bitch Tessa,” he shook his head. “You are no different than any other whore I have had in my bed except you pretend to be so pure and perfect.” She went to slap him across the face, and he grabbed her hand. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” he growled, “You may get it back!” “Nice,” she said quietly and looked at him. “This is just perfect.” He stood up and walked out, “Take what you want, I won’t ask you to come back.” She couldn’t believe he had said that… it knocked the wind out of her. Not that it should have: she was coming here to get her things, ending it. She stood still, and he turned back and saw her not moving. He took a deep breath and walked back in and yelled, “Do you want my help now? You’re not moving all that fast.” She shook her head no, and her legs started to tremble. “What are you doing?” he asked in a slightly softer tone. “Please….leave,” she said slowly and waited to hear the door close. When she heard it, she finally let out her breath and squatted down and hugged her knees and quietly cried. She knew that if she hadn’t talked to Adam she wouldn’t have been so angry and maybe she had over reacted about the dart game. “Damn it,” she said and wiped her face, and stood up and walked into the closet and grabbed more clothes. She went to walk out, and he stood with his arms crossed over his chest leaning on the door. She jumped and dropped the armful of scrubs. She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. “You know I can still see you, right?” he asked softly. She got angry again, “Yes, could you let me do this please Lucas, alone!”
“No, it’s not what you want, it’s not what I want. I was drunk, and you’re very angry at me,” he touched her hair. “You’ve been angry for awhile, probably since, I don’t know the body shot thing?” “Lucas don’t touch me, just let me do this.” “I don’t want you to, we have a month until the end of the semester. Give it a month baby, please. If you feel the same then I will help you move without a fight.” he rubbed her back, “I’ll move into the baby’s… spare bedroom,” he corrected himself. She turned to look at him. “Sorry, damn it I didn’t mean to say that. I'm sorry,” he said he saw the anger in her eyes which turned to pain and his turned red, “Tessa I mean it. I am sorry.” “But I can’t keep doing this and you Lucas, can’t expect me to be any different than you, it’s unfair.” “Tessa give it a month, I didn’t promise perfection. It’s unfair for you to expect that from me,” he kissed her head and started to walk out. Lucas stopped at the door and turned towards her, “I put it all back last time, it’s only fair you do this time. I need to leave, or I’ll be late for class.” What was that? She laughed and thought he thinks he just won. I’ll give it a month she thought, and you will regret it. She moved all her stuff into what would have been the baby's room. She went to work and taught her Friday class and went home. Lucas was there watching TV. She said nothing to him and walked upstairs and grabbed her clothes and showered downstairs. She went into the kitchen. “What’s for dinner, Tessa?” he called to her. She walked in with a bowl of cereal, “I am having this, you’re welcome to help yourself it’s in the cupboard, milks in the fridge.” He grabbed is phone and called a nearby steak house and ordered himself dinner. “No, that’s cool I got mine coming. Oh, darn baby did you want something?” he asked. There Tessa how did you like that, he thought. “No, I’m fine thanks for asking though,” Tessa smiled, asshole she screamed in her head. He ate dinner and went and showered and came down in shorts and laid in the recliner. She went upstairs and changed into a nightgown and some lace panties. She lay on her back on the couch and rested her left foot on her right knee. He looked over and saw the light blue panties and smirked. She was getting uncomfortable and flipped over on her belly and put her ankle behind the right knee and read. Three chapters later she got up to get a drink and dropped the book on the floor. She came back in and laid on the floor positioning herself where she knew he would be able to see her. She laid down on her belly and hooked her ankles and read she could hear him periodically shifting uncomfortably. “Are you watching this?” she asked over her shoulder. “Uh huh,” he said and swallowed loudly. “Oh, I was thought it was boring.” He cleared his throat “Do you want me to turn it?” “No… I’m going to read anyways,” she arched her back and stretched. “Your back sore?” “No, just stretching.” Tessa went up on her knees and stretched her hands out as far as she could reach. Her nightgown raised and she laid back down and rolled to her back and put her feet flat and held the book up to read. She rolled to her side and started to fall asleep. She rubbed her eyes and sat up and went to bed. “Tessa,” he jumped up and walked after her. “Yes?” she said yawning. “Come to bed with me.” “No Lucas,” she yawned. “Give it a month.” She smirked as she walked into her new room. “After that little show, you really expect me to wait five minutes?”
“I was reading,” she said and shut the door behind her. “Fine, just lay with me,” he said walking in the room, “Let me rub your back.” She turned and looked at him sternly, “Nope. Goodnight.” Two weeks went by and Tessa and Lucas both continued to walk around and tease each other. Tessa always won and she would shut the door in his face every night. She still dropped him and his friends off at the bar Monday nights and even Thursdays again. She wouldn’t walk in to pick them up, she’d text him when she pulled up out front, he asked why and she reminded him that he had told the bartender she wasn’t twenty- one. Thursday night she pulled up and texted him. He walked out with the dart girl and the body shot girl walking behind him. “Tessa come here, please,” she was pissed and got out, “These ladies have something to tell you.” They told her they knew she and Lucas were engaged and that they were just friends. “So when you licked salt off his neck you knew he was living with me and engaged to me?” Tessa asked and she shook her head yes. “And when you called him hot buns as I was hugging him, you knew that as well?” she also shook her head yes. “Lucas dear, do me a favor,” she said and he knew she was pissed. “Don’t bring bar trash out on the street it’ll dirty your reputation and don’t you ever again think it’s alright to discuss you and me with nasty bar whores.” “Who do you think you are?” body shot girl screamed. “Someone with a lot more class than you’ll ever have,” Tessa turned to walk away. “You might want to shut your mouth bitch,” she said to Tessa. “You may want to bring more than this bitch over here to help you,” Tessa turned back and stomped towards them. The guys walked out and grabbed the body shot girl. “Tessa, get in the vehicle,” Lucas was mad. “Goodbye bitches,” Tessa got in the driver’s seat. Everyone else climbed in. He looked at her. “What was that?” he asked. “Just like I said Lucas, don’t bring trash to me,” she hissed through her teeth. “What makes …” he started and she cut him off. “You really don’t want to do this right now,” Tessa warned. “Let’s do it, I was trying to show you that it was nothing,” he warned. “And you’re wrong,” she said, “Haven’t you learned by now not to push dirty ass bitches in my face? Oh no, you haven’t! I’d never been in a fight in my life and I had defended myself against all sorts of crazy, so forgive me Lucas if I didn’t greet them with open arms.” she looked at him, “are you embarrassed Lucas? Because I certainly am.” “Sorry Tessa,” he whispered. “I know,” she said. “You and your friends will need to find another ride, I won’t be going back there.” They dropped the boys off and they thanked her. They drove home in silence. They got out and walked in the house. She went to the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth. “Tessa I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” he said looking down. “Okay Lucas,” she said and walked by. “I’m trying Tessa,” he said quietly. “Well, two more weeks Lucas, and you won’t have to be bothered anymore,” she said and walked in the room and shut the door. She sat on the bed and buried her head in the pillows and screamed.
Lucas walked in. “Tessa I miss you and I need you and not just for two more weeks.” “What do you need, Lucas?” “Can you just tell me it’s going to be alright?” “How am I supposed to know what it’s going to be?” “Tessa… come sleep with me, I want to hold you, I miss you.” “Lucas you need to get laid. So here,” she said taking off her clothes, “Have at it!” His jaw dropped and he closed his eyes. “That’s not what I was asking for Tessa,” he swallowed hard. “That’s what you want, though,” she said and grabbed him. “Right Lucas this is what you want.” She undid his pants and pulled them off of him. She grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He was trying to steady his breathing. “Right here Lucas?” “Tessa stop,” he said, “That’s not what I was asking.” She grabbed his hand and led him to his room. “I just want to hold you.” He went and brushed his teeth. He walked out and she was going through the bag of toys. “How about this Lucas? Am I a dirty enough bitch now to entertain you?” she asked and opened the package with her teeth and turned it on. She laid back in bed and opened her legs, “Will this make you want me and only me, will this make you not want all that attention from all the women you surround yourself with Lucas, will it?” she asked and started to tear up. “Come on Lucas, get over here.” Tears rolled down her face. He sat on the bed and took the vibrator from her and dropped it on the floor. He laid next to her and covered her up. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him and kissed her. She pulled away. “Just fuck me and get it over with!” she snapped. He kissed her, “I love you.” Lucas kissed away her tears. “I love you,” he said again. He continued to kiss her and tell her he loved her until she wrapped her arms around him and fell asleep. She woke up in the morning and tried to sneak out of bed. He held her tighter, “I love you Tessa.” He rolled her over so she was facing him. She put her head against his chest and took a deep breath. She got up and walked to her room and got dressed and walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat on the counter. He walked downstairs and looked at her. “Tessa…” “Lucas,” she said. “Do you want cereal?” “No thank you,” he sat next to her. “Is that all you eat anymore?” “It’s fine, I don’t need a variety,” she said smugly. “Can I take you out to dinner tonight?” “No actually I think I’m going to drive home after class, I miss my family.” “Can I come with you?” “Why Lucas?” she asked rolling her eyes. “Because I want to see you happy.” “Then you…” she stopped, “It would be uncomfortable.”
“Okay, can I take you out to lunch?” “You have class,” she said. “I don’t want to go, it’s just review.” “Finals are next week,” she said quietly. “You’ve worked hard, don’t screw it up.” He smiled, “I’ve been screwing up far more important things than that.” She looked at him, “Don’t do that.” “Do what Tessa?” “Don’t put that on me,” she said looking down. “I didn’t say you were screwing things up, I said I was,” he looked sincerely into her eyes. She looked away. “Tessa I know I have said this a hundred times, but I really am sorry, I get too comfortable and things get messed up.” “So you should be uncomfortable, on edge? How will that make you happy? That sounds like a pretty sad life.” “Tessa are you finished with me?” he swallowed hard. She looked down and shook her head no. “I don’t like feeling like this, I don’t like being angry and jealous and mad about my actions and myself. I don’t like you feeling that way either. Have you ever thought that maybe we should take a break and maybe… I don’t know Lucas see if there is something else out there that would make you happier? You seem to like having someone around all the time now, maybe you need to try a real relationship with someone else and see if it’s really me or just the relationship that you love.” “You’re not being serious, are you?” he asked trying to figure out what she was saying. “Well, I just thought about it but I’d rather know now than five years down the road wouldn’t you?” “No Tessa I wouldn’t,” his jaw set. “Well, Lucas neither one of us should feel like this. I have to drop you off at a bar when I take an hour lesson so that you can do whatever it is you do there?” “I won’t go anymore,” his response was quick. “That’s not what I meant, obviously our relationship is lacking if you…” she stopped, “I’m sooo sick of hearing myself talk when all I’m doing is thinking out loud, problem- solving. I need to get some things done, and you need to eat something before class.” She laughed and grabbed the cereal out of the cabinet and made him a bowl. “Tessa I am not hu…” he started and she shoved a spoon full in his mouth. “It’s very good,” she laughed. She shoveled a bigger spoon full in his mouth and he smiled at her. “I love your smile.” He swallowed, “I love you.” Lucas grabbed her and hugged her. She breathed and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you Lucas,” she said and he held her closer. “I can’t lose you, Tessa.” “It shouldn’t be like this,” Tess looked up at him, “Why is it?” “I told you before if it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for,” He frowned. “I love you so much, Tessa. You’re precious to me. I promise,” he turned her face back to him, “I promise to do better. Let me do better.” Lucas kissed her softly on her nose. He kissed her ear and then her neck, “I can do better Baby, let me show you.” The sound of his voice heavied her heart. The touch of his lips, the heat in his eyes, and the way he moved closer to her body. His softness lifted her fear of losing. His kisses deepened and she pulled back and closed her eyes.
“Can I take you out to dinner tonight?” “Yes please, because that stuff is awful,” he smiled softly. “It’s good for you.” “I don’t think it could possibly be,” his smile deepened. “Do we have to do dinner before we have sex?” He laughed, “No.” “Good, it’s been an awful few weeks” she quickly took off his shirt. “Dreadful,” he took hers off. “Horrible,” she pulled her bottoms off. “Horrendous,” stepped out of his. “Lucas do you have to make love to me or could you fuck me until I can’t walk?” she laughing and she jumped up in his arms. “I want to make love, but after you take me out to dinner, I promise to do the other,” he smiled and they ran upstairs. When they finished, they both laid in bed and smiled looking at each other. “I’m very lucky that you love me, I want you to know that I’m aware of that.” “Lucas I feel the same until we fight, and then I get so pissed.” “We can make this work,” he said. “So dinner tonight and your family’s this weekend?” “You’ll go with me?” “Yes, Tessa. That’s where I want to be. With you” He kissed her and put her ring back on her finger. “Please don’t ever take this off again.”
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE “Thank you for doing this,” Tessa said and kissed him as they walked into the restaurant to meet Ben and his girlfriend. Lucas smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Hey Tess,” she heard from behind and she smiled and turned around. “Hi Ben,” she hugged him. She looked at the beautiful tall blonde standing next to him. “You’re beautiful,” Tessa hugged her. “Well, thank you,” she laughed. “Tessa this is Oxona and this is Lucas,” Ben said, and they shook hands. “Nice to meet you,” Lucas she hugged him. “You too, Lucas.” They ate dinner and talked about Europe; they had met in London at school and have traveled across Europe. On every break, they would backpack or ride the train to a different country. Her family was from Germany, and he’d spent a lot of time there. They ate dessert and decided to go dancing. Ben asked Lucas if he could dance with Tessa, and he agreed and danced with Oxona. “Wow, you look so happy Ben,” Tessa smiled. “I am Tess, she’s amazing,” he smiled. “I’m so glad, I don’t get crazy creepy vibes from her either,” she laughed. “Thank God,” Ben chuckled, “And you Tess are you happy?” “Yes,” she smiled. “Things are good.” “Is he the one forever?” “That’s the plan,” she giggled. “You make sure he doesn’t crush you,” his eyes showed worry. “I know people change and that he loves you, but you deserve the best, Tess.” “Thank you, Ben. So do you,” she closed her eyes and swallowed. “What was that?” “What?” “Are you sure you’re alright?” “Of course,” she said. “Ben, I want you to be happy.” “I really am Tess, but if you have doubts about you and him I need to know,” he said. She smiled, “I don’t.” “Alright then,” he smiled back. The summer went by quickly. Kendall had graduated, and Tess and Lucas helped move her to Albany, to Pharmacy school. Sydney was walking and had to be one of the happiest little girls in the world. Jade and Ryan were having their second child. Alex had proposed to Phoebe. And Jake was going to be a junior, and he was amazing at everything he did. He had a girlfriend who was two years older than him, but then again Jake had many since she could remember. Becca was engaged as well, and Cassidy was dating a guy she met at college. They hosted another season beginning party at their house and then football was in full swing. Lucas spent a lot of time at the gym, and they spent every Saturday at his games. Sundays they spent on the couch watching NFL teams and the recorded college games from the previous week. Tessa would cook and clean and do laundry as he and his friend watched the games. She always went home the weekend before
hunting season and cleaned and cooked with her mother. Landon, Audri, and the girls came to every home game and so did his mother and Bob. They were engaged and getting married on Christmas Eve. Tessa continued her lessons, she and Adam were very close. Lucas had given her tickets for Adam and his daughter to come to a game and although football wasn’t Adam’s thing, he came. Jade and Ryan welcomed their little girl into the world on Valentine’s Day, which seemed very fitting, they were an amazing couple. Tessa and Lucas were there for the birth and also Godparents to Riley May Brooks. Spring break they spent with Landon, Audri and the girls skiing in Aspen. *** “Tessa,” Lucas yelled as he walked in the door. She ran down the stairs, “Is everything alright?” “It's more than alright,” he lifted her up and spun her around. “Okay, tell me,” she laughed. “How would you feel about moving to Cortland?” She smiled, “I would love to but why?” “Coach Brown called me down today, and the Jets want me, baby,” he smiled. “Are you serious?” “Yes and they’re training at Cortland State this summer,” he said gushing. “Isn’t that perfect?” “Yes it is pretty perfect,” she hugged him. “I am so happy for you.” “For us baby, happy for us,” He smiled and kissed her. “What about school?” “Online courses and a short spring sessions.” “You’ve gotten it all figured out,” she said and smiled. “I do and as long as you’re with me, everything will be perfect. Oh and will you please marry me sooner?” She smiled, “Of course.” “Christmas time?” “Lucas, that’s football season,” she laughed. Lucas was beaming, he was doing it, living his dream and she couldn’t have been happier for him. “Okay, Spring break?” “We’ll figure it out; let’s enjoy this victory right now. We should go to Jersey this weekend and surprise your family.” “Sounds amazing,” he smiled and traced her lips with his fingers. “You just made a touchdown, huh?” she bit his finger lightly. “I just made ten,” he kissed her and looked down. She smiled and kissed down his chest. Lucas laughed, “Touchdown!” *** Tessa got done packing, and he walked in. “Change of plans baby.” “What’s going on?” “They are coming up for the weekend, so I thought that we could invite your family over and tell them all together,” he smiled. “You’re so sweet.” “Because of you, besides ten, hours in a vehicle is a waste when we could spend it here celebrating”
he smiled. “But first I want to go see my Mother, is that alright?” “Of course, let’s go now,” she smiled. “How about we stay here for a while,” he grabbed her. “Alright,” she laughed. She was so happy for him, and he was ecstatic! *** Kate was extremely happy for Lucas, and she hugged Tessa and thanked her. They stopped to see Ryan and Jade. Tessa held Riley as Lucas and Lukie played. “Links, we’re looking into buying a house so if you guys want this place you should take it.” “No, this is your place is yours.” “No, it’s not Lucas we appreciate it but have saved more than enough to buy our own home.” “Buy this place, then,” Lucas suggested. “I don’t know if we can afford this.” Tessa looked at Jade, and she smiled. “You want to move?” Tessa whispered. “No, we love it here, but enough charity,” Jade smiled. “Alright so what are you looking at?” Lucas asked. They showed him some homes they had looked at and Lucas looked confused. “You really want to leave this for those places?” he laughed. “Lucas,” Tessa said and shot him a look. “What? They should just buy this place, you don’t want to move do you Lukie? I will cut you a sweet deal as long as you agree that if you sell the kids get ten percent each in their college fund.” “We would have to start those first,” Jade laughed. “No, you don’t, we already did,” Lucas laughed. Tessa smiled and looked down, “Yeah, we did.” They told them that each holiday or birthday they put money into an account for Luke since his birth; they were doing the same for Sydney. “You should go get their statements out of the glove box; I haven’t opened them this month.” Lucas came in and handed them to Jade and was smiling. “No way,” Jade gasped and started to cry, “This isn’t alright.” Lucas had put two grand into Riley’s when she was born and did the same to Luke’s. Tessa shook her head and kissed his cheek. Lucas had a different idea of holidays than Tessa. He and she both put a couple hundred dollars in for birthdays Easter, and Christmas. But Lucas put money in for Valentine day, Presidents day Columbus Day the Fourth of July and many others. Luke had eight thousand dollars, and Riley had twenty- five hundred. “Do you know how proud Tommy would be of you Lucas, not just because of this, but because of who you have become?” Jade asked through tears. “Momma we don’t cry when we talk about my father,” Lukie said, “We are happy like he is.” “You’re right buddy,” Ryan said. “But sometimes girls cry when they’re happy, look at Aunt Tessa.” “That’s just wrong,” Lukie said, and they all laughed. “Boys too?” he asked looking at Lucas. “Sometimes, buddy,” Lucas said, and Tessa hugged him.”Oh man, you’re right — this is wrong,” he laughed. “But I miss your father. Aside from Tessa, he believed in me more than anyone else in the whole world. You’re so lucky Luke, you have a father watching you from way up there and a Daddy, who will make sure you are happy forever, right here.” “And an uncle who cries happy tears like a girl,” Lukie said excited and hugged him.
They all laughed. “When did you start talking all the time?” Lucas laughed and picked him up and swung him around in a circle. Before they left Jade and Ryan agreed to consider the deal. *** Tessa and Lucas walked out to his SUV. “Do you want to stop at the cemetery?” “Which one?” he asked quietly. “Both,” she said. “Share your news with Tommy and David.” “Are you sure?” “Of course Lucas. I ‘m going to drive.” They stopped at both cemeteries after buying flowers to leave at each. Lucas didn’t say much. But they spent at least thirty minutes at each stop before heading back to Syracuse. They pulled into their driveway, and Lucas woke up. “I fell asleep,” he laughed. “Wow — what an emotional day, do you think I am getting my period?” “No, Lucas, but I know I fall more deeply in love with you every day,” she looked down. “And that makes you sad?” “No,” she whispered. “I love you.” “I love you, can we do something fun? Little Luke kind of destroyed my manhood today,” he laughed and got out. “Oh Lucas, there is nothing lacking in that department,” she looked down at him and smiled. “Perfect,” he said and ran upstairs.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO “I just don't like any of them,” Lucas said She laughed, “Do you realize in two days we’re going to be homeless?” “Fine, let’s go for a drive and check some of them out,” he pouted. They spent the next five hours driving from house to house, none of which either of them liked. They drove into town, “What are we doing here?” “Do you trust me?” “Sure.” “Good close your eyes,” he grinned, “And no peeking!” They pulled onto a bumpy road. “Are you taking me out to the middle of the woods again?” she laughed. “Sort of,” he said with a smile in his voice. He stopped and turned off the SUV. “Okay, keep them closed. So you know that training camp is here, but the Meadowlands are in New Jersey right?’ “Yes,” she said. “I thought about it, and maybe we shouldn’t buy a big house yet until we see what happens with the Jets. You know trying to think like you do,” he laughed, “Well I thought it would be nice to have a place here, and we could always build something bigger if this is where we decided to stay, but this could be our start. Could you open your eyes please, baby?” She opened her eyes and looked around, “This is my family's land.” “It’s ours now, your Dad gave me a pretty sweet deal on ten acres,” he laughed and jumped out of the SUV and ran around and helped her out. “When did the garage get built?” she asked. “It was finished last week, Tessa, do you like it?” he asked. “Yes but a three bay garage… I am so confused,” she laughed. “Alright come on,” he lead her around back, “this is pretty plain, but I know you can make it perfect. Check this out” he said and turned the corner. She smiled when she saw the wall of glass facing the west, it was beautiful. He opened the glass doors, and she walked into a very open area. The floors were wood and tile, everything was open. The kitchen, a dining room, and a living room, were almost as big as the garage. Stairs lead up to an open area which had two small bedrooms and a large master suite. “Lucas, this is breathtaking,” she said, and she cried. “How did you do this?” “With lots of help” he laughed. “But I designed it for you. I didn’t pick colors, I thought you would want to, but our furniture should be here in an hour. And I thought,” she kissed him passionately. “Does that mean you like it?” “No, Lucas, I love it,” she kissed him again. She walked upstairs and leaned over the railing and looked down at him. She took her shirt off and threw it at him. He smiled and ran up the stairs. *** She came out of the bathroom, “You look amazing,” he said. “I think we should have a no clothes policy.”
Lucas stood up, and she looked at him and smiled. He was beautiful and sweet and as much as he drove her insane she loved him. “I think we could do that,” she hugged him. They heard cars pulling in, and he grabbed his pants and got dressed. She laughed and looked down at her clothes. She started running towards the stairs, and Alex and Phoebe walked in, “I got it,” laughing he ran down and grabbed her clothes. Alex and Phoebe walked in as he was grabbing her bra. “You’ve only been here an hour man,” Alex closed his eyes. “She likes the house,” Lucas laughed, ran upstairs, and helped her dress. They walked downstairs just as the rest of the family walked in. “So does she like it?” John asked. “Apparently, she loves it,” Alex walked out. They had moved everything in, and Maggie had brought dinner. Jade pulled in with the kids Tessa ran out to meet her. “Do you love it?” “Yes, I just worry about the way he spends money,” Tessa laughed. “He sold the house, Tessa.” “Really?” she asked. “Yeah and Ryan’s been here every night for a month and on weekends. He gave us an amazing deal Tessa he is such a good guy, most of the time,” Jade laughed. “We can afford the house of our dreams and this one well it is amazing, and on the land you love so much.” *** They lay in bed and watched the sunset entangled in each other’s arms. “Are you happy, baby?” “Beyond happy,” she yawned and fell asleep in his arms. He woke up, and she was sitting on the edge of the bed naked with his breakfast. “Good morning Baby,” his eyes moved over her body. “Good morning,” she said beaming, “I made you breakfast, naked.” “Perfect,” he laughed. She pulled down the blankets and smiled when she saw him getting hard. She sat on top of him and fed him bites of eggs. He looked down as he chewed and his fingers spread her as his thumb rubbed her clit. His swallowed hard and his jaw clenched as he watched his fingers rubbing her now wet pussy. “Fuck your gorgeous Baby,” Lucas started to sit. “Oh no, not yet, I’m going to feed you.” Lucas pulled his hand away and licked his fingers, “Exactly what I was thinking.” Tessa sat forward and put the fork full of eggs up to his mouth, “Open up Lucas.” He reached between them and rubbed his cock against her opening as he chewed the eggs and watched her eyes close momentarily. “Are you finished with the eggs?” she moaned. “Fuck the eggs Baby,” Lucas tossed the plate on the floor and flipped her on her back. “So is that a yes?” “Not yet.” She laughed, and laid back and enjoyed herself. “Breakfast of champs,” he said and watched her try to gain control again. She rolled over and sat on him. “Mmm,” he groaned as she moved slowly up and down on him until he finished with her.
*** “How did you do all this without me even knowing?” she asked as she walked around. “I like to surprise you,” he kissing her neck. “I love your surprises but could they ever be like, ‘hey we are going out to dinner or look I picked you flowers’?” she laughed. “Probably not,” he smiled at her, “So I need to go to practice in the morning, what are you going to do?” “Landscaping,” she looked outside. “Look Lucas, you can almost see camp. I bet when the leaves fall you will be able to see it.” He kissed her, “Uh Huh.” His hands gently moved down her back. “Again Lucas?” “All day Tessa,” he groaned against her neck. “Perfect,” she said and knelt down. He laughed, “Damn, I love you.” *** Lucas’s first week at training camp was harder than he expected. He would come home and eat and go to sleep. It was a remarkably hot July, and he was happy he had central air installed. Lucas was taking two classes online, and he spent most of his weekend doing school work. He hated it but knew if he didn’t stick with it he might go back. She had been asked to do a two week performing art program at the school helping the kids with dance. It was a lot of fun. She wasn’t taking classes this summer, and after next semester, she would only have clinical’s and she would graduate from nursing school. Tessa had done landscaping and painted when she wasn’t in Syracuse teaching her class or taking piano. She had stopped the voice lessons for now. Adam wasn’t pleased but usually her hour class lasted an hour and a half and they would work on voice. When Lucas sat at the desk and did homework and looked frustrated, she would climb under the desk just to make him happy. They were busy, and seldom had time to enjoy each other. Tessa sometimes woke at night to his touch, and she never said no. Morning showers were a thing of the past. The summer neared its end, and she prepared to go back to school. She managed to get all her course load in on Tuesday and Thursday, and she taught her class those evenings. She did a class on Monday and Wednesday in her hometown and although it was much smaller, it helped her pay the utilities — which she still insisted on doing. She made sure to clean, cook, and shop on Monday and Wednesday’s and get all her studying in so that on Friday she could spend the whole weekend with him. The fall football schedule came out, and they sat with a calendar to figure out their schedules. “I know you have some crazy need to work Tessa, but I’d prefer you be with me, please consider it.” He said. “Alright I will,” she conceded. “And piano Tessa I am not trying to be rude but is that more important than spending time with me?” “Of course not.” “Alright then.” She was feeling a little bitter, and he could tell. “Baby don’t be mad this could last a season or ten years you never know.” “It’s alright, Lucas.”
*** She went to all their scrimmages and watched the other wives and girlfriends with their perfectly manicured hands and perfect hair, chat and she knew she didn’t fit in. Lucas however was fitting in with the guys perfectly. He looked happy, and she loved to see him that way. He was working on the offensive side, but sometimes practiced defense as well.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE There was a party at the end of the training season and Lucas and Tessa attended. It was at Hope Lake Lodge. They had gone shopping, and he had picked out her dress. “How are you going to feel if my boobs fall out of this thing at dinner?” she asked as they got out of the SUV. “Probably hard,” he laughed taking her hand she smiled up at him and laughed. They walked in, and she immediately felt like a freshman walking into a new school on the first day of school. “You look amazing,” he wrapped his arm around her. “And you look as hot as always,” she sounding annoyed. He laughed, “Is that a bad thing?” “Yeah, could you try to be ugly once in a while, then the Cougars wouldn’t be checking out my man,” she grabbed his butt. They sat and had dinner listening as the guys talked about the teams they would be up against in the next few weeks and there different strengths and weakness. The women talked about being stuck in this God forsaken area, and Lucas rubbed her back when he saw her getting annoyed. She looked at him and gave him her best fake smile, and he laughed. “You’re from here, right Links?” one of them asked. “Yes, about forty- five minutes away,” he smiled. “Do you come from a farm?” one of the wives asked and the others laughed. “No, I don’t,” he politely smiled. Tessa grabbed another glass of wine and drank it down. “I do,” Tessa smiled. Lucas looked at her and then looked down. “Oh,” one of the blonde laughed. “So do you have cows and pigs and chickens?” She asked amused. “No,” Tessa said, “Do you?” The guys chuckled. “No, I grew up in New York City,” she said. “I see,” Tessa said shaking her head and looking down, “So do you steal hubcaps, live in a box, and do crack?” She looked at Tessa like she was crazy, and the guys all laughed. The wives all excused themselves and walked away. The guys all laughed more. “You gotta problem with the city, Lady Links?” one of them asked. “Do you have a problem with upstate and farms?” “No,” he said. “Well then I have no problem with you.” “Baby, shhh” he whispered in her ear. “You do know almost half our team comes from the middle of nowhere right?” One of them snickered. “Got a little sidetracked on your way to the top, I see,” she threw it back at him and they roared in laughter. “She has a problem controlling her mouth when she drinks,” Lucas smiled at her as his eyebrow crept up.
“You usually have no problem with my uncontrollable mouth,” she said looking at him. “You want to take a walk?” he asked softly. “Sure if I can ditch these shoes.” “Walk with me,” the only wife that didn’t leave said and smiled at Tessa. “Okay,” Tessa stood and Lucas looked away, she grabbed another glass of wine and kissed him before she walked away. He sat back and took a deep breath, they all laughed. Tessa and Jessie walked outside, and Jessie laughed. “You’re pretty funny.” “I wasn’t trying to be. I just get sick of fake boobied, opportunistic snobs,” she said, “But I think it annoyed Lucas.” “No honey, he didn’t look annoyed he looked amused,” she laughed. “How long have you two been married?” Tessa asked. “Oh, we aren’t married, but we’ve been together for ten years,” she laughed. “Why aren’t you married?” “I keep telling him no,” she shrugged, and Tessa smiled, “he wants me more because of it,” she whispered. “You’re right about those women just don’t push them, some of them are actually alright, but in a pack they can be bitches. I grew up in the city, by the way. I never stole hubcaps or any of those other things, and I take no offense to what you said. We are going to be friends Tessa. My name is Jessie.” They walked in smiling, and Jessie grabbed two glasses of wine and handed one to Tessa, the DJ was set up and playing, “You dance Tessa?” “A little,” Tessa laughed. She saw Lucas talking with some of his teammates, and he didn’t notice her. Jessie and Tessa went to the dance floor. They were joined by the wives. They all danced together, and Tessa and Jessie laughed and drank. Lucas saw her playing nice with the girls and sighed. She was dancing and having a great time. A slow song came on, and he walked up to her. “Dance with me?” “Hmm,” she smiled as she reached under his jacket and wrapped her arms around him. “You’re having fun?” “I am now,” she pulled him closer and kissed him. “Can we behave here for a little longer?” “Probably not,” she laughed. “Please?” he asked sticking his bottom lip out. “Fine,” she stomped her foot. A song she knew came on, and he laughed, it was one she had taught him before he made her do a Zumba class for his old teammates. “I miss Jose.” He smiled, “What made you think about him?” “He danced to this song with us remember?” she laughed. “You know this song, Lucas.” “No, I don’t,” he started walking away she grabbed him. “Please.” “Not here, do you want them to think I’m insane?” he laughed. “You go ahead, I’ll watch.” Jessie knew the song and the moves, she was already doing them. Tessa joined her, and the others tried to keep up. All the guys watched Jessie’s boyfriend and Lucas both stood smiling at them. “Yours does Zumba, huh?” Miguel asked.
“Yeah, she’s an instructor,” Lucas said. “Weird how they all bust out when one of the songs comes on,” Miguel said. “Does it happen a lot?” Lucas asked. “All the time, it’s kind of cool to watch, huh?” Miguel said. “I think the rest of them like it too.” The song changed. “Oh shit,” Lucas gasped. It was Tessa’s last song from the Zumba SU fiasco. “You know this one?” he asked Miguel. “No.” Jessie didn’t either, but she learned it quickly. The other’s tried to keep up. The teammates looked at Miguel and Lucas and smiled. When the song ended, Tessa grinned at Lucas as she walked towards them. “Are you ready?” “No, she’s not,” Jessie said, “She is going to hang out longer.” Tessa stuck her tongue out at Lucas and smiled. “You should have a drink hot stuff,” Tessa said. “You shouldn’t,” Lucas scowled. Jessie and Tessa went to the bar and grabbed a glass of wine. They were surrounded by the team and laughing. Lucas looked at Miguel and asked, “Does that bother you.” “No, she can handle herself, I’m sure your girl can too,” Miguel laughed. “I don’t know about that,” Lucas watched her do a shot. “Hey baby,” he said taking her glass from her. “Hi Lucas,” she said and hugged him and whispered in his ear, “Can we leave now I really would like to...” Lucas covered her mouth with his hand. “Tessa, you aren’t whispering baby,” Lucas laughed. “Oh,” she looked around and shrugged. “Well, can we go, please?” She jumped up and down in place. “Yeah, we absolutely can,” he grabbed her hand and waved goodnight. “And we’re getting a room.” Tessa woke up in the morning and her head hurt. He stood against the wall with a glass of water smiling at her. “How are you feeling?” “Like crap,” she groaned. “Well, you were a hit last night,” he handed her water and ibuprofen. “Lucas I’m sorry.” He laughed, “Do you remember?” “No nothing after the dancing with Jessie,” she said holding her head in her hands. “The shots?” “No, but that certainly explains the headache.” “And how does that hot ass feel,” he smiled. “What?” “You begged for it Tessa, in front of everyone, and when we got up here, you wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried, but you weren’t having it,” he started brushing his teeth. “We did that?” she asked, and her eyes got red. “You did that to me?” “You wouldn't leave it alone Baby, and you loved it,” he walked back out of the bathroom. He saw tears in her eyes and laughed, “I’m just joking, don’t cry.” “Don’t laugh at me,” she said. “Tell me the truth.”
“We came up here after you did a few shots, you undressed me we kissed a lot I laid you down and started to enjoy you down below and you fell asleep or passed out.” “While you were…” she asked. “Yes a little bit of a hit to the ego but yes Tessa, you fell asleep,” he laughed. “I’m sorry,” she hugged him. “I am going to take a shower before we go meet everyone for breakfast,” he said. She joined him, “I feel like crap Lucas, but I want you.” She knelt in front of him, and he smiled. After she had finished, she jumped out of the shower and threw up. He held her hair back and laughed, “Wow first she falls asleep on me and then she throws up after she has me. “ “Lucas, I’m sorry” she sat back. “What a mess I made of this. “ He ran a bath, and she soaked in it. When she got out, she dressed and did her hair she even put on some makeup. “Wow, you look much better.” “I feel better,” she hugged him. “You hungry?” “I think I could eat a little.” *** They went to the restaurant, and everyone was sitting in the dining room. She looked at him, and he smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Good morning,” he said, and they sat down. Tessa looked and Jessie and they both giggled. Before they left the lodge, they exchanged numbers. “We’re going to be great friends,” Jessie said, and Tessa smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR The season was going well Jessie and Tessa had become good friends. Lucas was playing a little more each game. She went to all the games and when a touchdown was made he still looked at her, and she still smiled. “You’re a Jet’s fan now, you know?” Lucas reminded her as he watched her getting ready to go to the game. “I know, but it’s the Cowboy’s Lucas!” He smiled. Tessa had loved the Cowboys since she was a kid. Danny White was her favorite, and she loved Irving, Smith, Aikman, Sanders. “You riding with Jessie?” “I can, or I can take you down now and hangout,” she tried not to smile. “Alright, but just remember who your favorite quarterback is.” Tessa and Lucas got there early. She was almost jumping out of her skin, and he was very entertained. “You know you could,” he looked down. “This is sacred ground Lucas Links,” she laughed as she looked around taking in her surroundings. “So is this,” he took her hand and placed it on him. They found a quiet corner, and she did what he had asked. “Thank you, Baby,” Lucas fixed his pants. “I can’t believe I just did that here,” she danced around and he laughed. Lucas had a few pretty perfect passes. One resulted in a touchdown that tied the game. They lost by seven…to the Cowboys. *** The next game was against the Giants, Tessa’s least favorite team. The game was tied in the second quarter. The starting quarterback was injured, Lucas was put in. He looked for her, and she stood up and whistled. He smiled when he saw her, took a deep breath and ran out onto the field. The Giants knew his strength was in the passing game. He was well- covered. There were only four minutes left of the game and it was 21- 21. Lucas looked everywhere from an open receiver, without ant other options he was forced to run the ball down the field. Lucas dove into the end zone. Lucas was in midair when he was hit hard in the end zone, and Tessa watched as he lay on the ground motionless. Get up she thought, please get up. He didn’t. Tessa stood up and started to move down the bleacher, and Jessie grabbed her hand. “You can’t go down there Tessa.” “I have to!” Tessa pulled away panicking. Miguel looked up and saw them. Jessie looked at him, and he shook his head no and ran out to the field. “Look Tessa, Miguel is with him. We’ll go down to the locker room. Come on Tessa, keep it together,” Jessie led her through the crowd. Tessa saw Landon, and his eyes mirrored hers. He followed them down. They waited just inside the tunnel and watched as they brought Lucas in on a stretcher. She pulled away from Jessie’s grasp and grabbed his hand. “Wake up Lucas,” she cried “Wake up now!” The team doctor told her to meet them at the hospital. Landon grabbed her pulling her away.
They walked into the ER, and he was already getting a CT. Jessie text messaged her, - please let us know what’s going on when you find out, our prayers are with you… Jessie She had messages from everyone in her family coming in. She started to cry, and Landon hugged her literally holding her together. “He’s going to be fine,” Landon’s smile was forced. Her phone rang, and it was Ryan, she quickly answered it. “What’s going on Tessa, is he alright?” “We don’t know anything yet he is in getting a CAT scan,” Tessa cried, “I fucking hate the Giants!” She heard Lucas chuckle and she looked up, “Ryan he’s awake. I will call you back.” Tessa grabbed his hands as they wheeled him down the hall. “Are you okay?” “I’m okay Baby,” he kissed her hand. *** They sat and waited in his very full exam room. Doctors, nurses, coaches, and family surrounded Lucas. The amount of concern and love in the room overwhelmed Tessa. She was standing in the back trying to keep her emotions in check. “Come here, baby,” Lucas smiled. Tessa made her way past everyone and he patted the stretcher. She sat, and he hugged her. “I didn’t walk off the field,” he whispered. “No, but you made the touchdown.” “The first voice I heard was yours;” he kissed her and laughed, “Saying that you hated the fucking Giants.” “I do, and now I hate them more,” she said very seriously. Landon turned on the TV and Lucas watched as his team won by seven. Tessa smiled as she watched Lucas light up with pride. He winked, “We won by seven baby.” The doctor came in and told Lucas he had a concussion, a broken rib and a severely damaged tendon in his shoulder. Lucas had to stay overnight for observation and Tessa stayed with him. He didn’t talk all that much he was hurting physically, but worse than that he was angry. His coach came to Landon’s the next day with the sports doctor. They had a plan for his recovery and told him he could probably be back in by the end of the season. *** Tessa spent a lot of time in New Jersey at London's, and they had planned to marry in July. When she wasn’t at school or in New Jersey, she was busy planning her wedding. - I’m home, and I miss you Lucas… LT - Baby, you don’t have to be there, I can take care of us, but I know your stubborn ass won’t see that… LL - My stubborn ass?... LT - Mmm, ass talk again, lol… LL - naughty boy, maybe a wedding gift will be one that doesn’t cost anything but
my dignity, lol… LT - promises promises… LL - We shall see… LT - Really? …. LL - Probably not, lol!…. LT - I love you anyways, baby… LL - You better! In less than eight months, I can change my sign off, your wife, Tessa… LT - Sounds great, I can’t wait. A few of the guys want me to go out tonight, is that okay?… LL - Yes, have fun. I love you… LT Tessa sat at the piano and played, she missed Adam’s scrutiny. She wondered if he would play at the wedding, maybe his band could play at the reception. She was nodding off as she sat thinking about everything she needed to do. Chewy rested his head on her leg and she pet him. “Mommy and Daddy are getting married soon, Chewy. I have you back, life is good.” *** The next day Tessa sat down and went through her list of to do’s. Tessa couldn’t get the venue she wanted until September, she had her heart set on it. She realized Lucas had not called her last night and wondered if he was alright. “Hello,” he said quietly. “Good morning, is everything alright?” “Yeah why?” he asked. “You didn’t call me last night.” “Oh, shit I was wasted baby Dad had to come get me, I’m sorry.” “Okay, what did you do?” “Promise you won’t get pissed?” “Okay, you're freaking me out Lucas.” “We went to a strip club, but I didn’t know that’s where we were going Tessa.” “Oh.” “You’re mad,” he knew she would be, but his honesty usually earned him points. “Why did your Dad have to come get you?” “They were all staying for the after party, I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want the lap dances and whatever else they do, so I called him, are you mad?” “I guess not,” she said quietly. “You shouldn’t be, I was very well behaved. I love you.” She was quiet. “Tessa say whatever you want to, I know you're mad.” “Lucas I’ve been planning our wedding,” she started. “And you’re going to keep planning right?” he asked nervously. “Yes Lucas, but if I’m going to marry you, I should probably be able to trust you.” She heard him let out a breath. “On that note, I called to schedule the place on the Lake, and they have nothing until
September, how do you feel about that?” He was surprised she was even still talking to him. “If that’s what you want baby I’m perfectly fine with it. I love you.” “You better or all this planning isn’t for nothing, I would like Adam’s band to play at the reception. I haven’t asked him yet, but they’re really good. Is that okay with you?” “Whatever you want, Tessa,” he laughed. *** Tessa was working on a new routine, and Chewy was dancing with her. The music was cranked, and she didn’t even notice he came in. Lucas watched her dancing in her underwear and sports bra in front of the wall of windows the sun was setting, and her hair glimmered in its ray. The song stopped. “Alright Chewy one more time.” “I don’t think I can watch anymore, you look so hot baby” he walked towards her. She jumped and smiled when she saw him. “Hi.” “Hi,” he grabbed her and held her tightly against him. “I need a shower.” “Me too,” he said. They lay in bed laughing. “I missed you.” “I like when you miss me,” she laughed, “It always feels so good.” *** The next day he left early, and she went to camp. The girls all met there and got things ready for the busy upcoming weekend. Tessa was upset that she wouldn’t be there Sunday… the first in years, but Lucas needed her there whether or not he was playing. “So ladies I have an announcement to make,” Phoebe said. “Alex and I are going to get married next month!” In typical female fashion, they all hugged her, laughed, and Tessa even shed tears. Tessa was over the moon excited. “A month?” She asked. “How are we going to pull this off?” “It’s going to be at your church, and the reception will be there too,” Phoebe laughed, “The wedding isn’t what I am excited for. Alex and I don’t want to wait anymore.” “You seriously haven’t had sex?” Jade asked. “No Jade he is a perfect gentleman. A very frustrated perfect gentleman, but perfect just the same,” Phoebe smiled. “When will you start trying to give me a niece or nephew?” Tessa asked. “Probably that night” she laughed. “I’m done with school in May, and well, your brother wants a ton of kids. I think he believes he’s genetically superior to the rest of the world and wants to repopulate it.” “Well duh,” Tessa and Jade said together. They ate, sang, and even planned for the now two upcoming nuptials. “Well, I have to get going Ryan wants to go to bed early tonight, and I do too,” Jade winked, “Phoebe you’ll understand soon enough.” Jade and Cassidy left, and Tessa looked at Phoebe, “You okay future sister in law, current BFF?” “I’m a little scared of you know… my wedding night,” Phoebe admitted. “Phoebe it’s not scary, it’s beautiful. I know that’s not what you experienced, but between two people who love each other, it is the most amazing feeling in the world.” Tessa hugged her. “You two can learn
that together. My brother is going to make an amazing husband and father. I’m so happy he met you Phoebe. I feel blessed to have you becoming an official part of my family.” Tessa looked at the clock it was only nine. “Man we’re getting old,” she said as they walked out. “It’s so early,” Phoebe laughed. “Come up to the house with me and we can do some more planning. They jumped on the four wheeler and rode through the woods and up the field. They sat up until midnight planning and Phoebe stayed the night. His phone chimed, and it was her, - Hey, hot stuff what are you doing?... YFWT - What does YFWT mean… LL - Your future wife silly boy… LT - Just got home I went out to dinner with Miguel and Jessie, did you have fun at Doe camp?... LL - I did and guess what; Phoebe and Alex are getting MARRIED in a month!!... LT - Wow, is she pregnant?... LL - LOL no, but sex has something to do with it. I guess my brother is a bit frustrated. See if we had waited we would have already been married… LT - Your fault you attacked me remember?… LL - I remember very well, tell yourself whatever you need to… attacked you, lol… anyway one of the top ten moments of my life… LT - I think it’s my second… LL - what’s the first?... LT - It’ll be in September, when you say I do… LL - Awe very sweet. I Love you Lucas Links… LT - I love you baby, I can’t wait for my wedding present, are you home?... LL - Yes and ready for bed, without you… LT - I think you should be done with school, and then it won’t have to be like this… LL - I have one semester left Lucas, and so do you. We can handle this for a few more months right?... LT - Sure… LL - Just think wedding night ;) lol, Goodnight Lucas I love you… LT - I will, love you too baby… LL
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE Tessa woke and went to the bathroom she looked out the window, and there was an orange glow in the distance. She rubbed her eyes and saw what she thought could be the camp. She threw on a sweatshirt and sweatpants and yelled to Phoebe. “Call my parents Phoebe and meet me at camp. I think it’s on fire” she yelled and grabbed a fire extinguisher from the kitchen and one from the garage and jumped on the four wheeler. It was blazing, and Tessa was panicking. She grabbed the fire extinguisher and ran inside. The fire was at the back near the kitchen but spreading fast. Tessa grabbed curtains and tried to smother it. She used the extinguishers, but it wasn’t working. She turned to run out and was overcome by smoke. She covered her mouth and tried to figure out where she was. She dropped to the floor to try to get beneath the smoke. She heard her father’s voice and Phoebe screaming and moved towards them. She knew she was near the door. She felt a sharp pain as she was she struck on the back of the head. Tessa woke up in an ambulance, and she tried to pull the oxygen mask off. “Leave it on, Miss Ross,” she heard someone say as she fell back to sleep. She woke up, and her parents and Phoebe were standing in the ER exam room. “What happened? Did we leave something plugged in?” Tessa asked. “No,” John said, “They aren’t actually sure, but it’s looking like a bunch of kids started a fire behind camp. There were beer cans and a couple of our tables were used as firewood.” “Thank God it wasn’t us,” she started to cry. “Why would someone do that?” “I don’t think it was on purpose,” Maggie rubbed her hair, “You should rest honey, you took a pretty bad blow on the back of your head.” Tessa felt the lump. “Wow, that hurts,” she said. “Does Alex know?” “Yes, he’s on his way,” Phoebe said. “It's not necessary,” looked at Phoebe. “He called Lucas too,” Phoebe quietly spoke. “Oh great,” she said, “This is just what Lucas needs.” Tessa woke up to Lucas’s head on her hand. She reached over to touch his head, her arms and hands were bandaged “Ouch,” she cringed and he jumped up. “Hey Lucas,” she said and smiled. “What the hell were you thinking,” he said, “You could have been killed!” “Nice to see you, too,” her tears started flowing down her cheek. “Damn it, sorry Tessa but you can’t do shit like that,” he kissed her cheek. “I’m fine,” she said. “Yeah, you’re great, you have stitches in your head, a concussion and burns on your arms. What would have happened if your dad didn’t drag you out of there, or if Phoebe weren't there last night Tessa?” he asked furiously. “I’ll tell you what — you would have been dead.” Lucas’s eyes burned, and he put his head down. “I’m sorry Lucas,” she whispered. *** They walked in the house, and he made her lay down.
“I need to make some phone calls.” “Who are you calling?” “My coach I am going to stay with you for a couple weeks,” he said, “Because you can’t be trusted.” “No,” she said getting up, “You’re not. You need to be ready in a month, Lucas.” “Laydown,” he said sternly. “Hang up,” she fired back. He walked over and sat down, and she sat on his lap. “I’m going to be fine; my whole family is extremely close by. Besides it’s not like there will be any hunting festivities.” “That really breaks your heart, doesn’t it baby?” he pulled her hair away from her face. “Of course, I hate hunting, but they love it, and I love them.” “I think I have a solution. I’m just not sure how you will feel about it,” he laughed. “Let’s hear it.” *** Deer camp was moved to the garage, one of the three bays became a processing center, and there would be cots in the other two. There was already a bathroom in the garage, so it was perfect. Her family would be arriving in a couple hours to set everything up. Alex was extremely happy that it was all coming together. “You need a nap?” he grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. She laughed when he tucked her in and had to look at anywhere but the bed or her. “What?” “You need to get laid? She asked. “That’s crude,” Lucas’s his eyes lit up. “But true,” she laughed, “You have to be nice.” “I know.” He took his shirt off and stepped out of his pants. He lifted her shirt and kissed her breast. She closed her eyes and reached down to pull his boxers down. She laughed, “It’s like an oven mitt.” “Shhh,” he kissed her and pulled down her pants and underwear. They lay down and he caressed her. One of her breasts with one hand and the other in his mouth, his hand traveled down. She arched her back and breathed rapidly as she moaned. He looked up at her, and she smiled. “I love you,” she said softly. He kissed down her belly and slid his arm underneath one of her legs and kissed her stomach. He lifted her legs, and she stiffened. “Does that hurt,” he asked gently putting her down and moving up beside her. “Yeah, but it’ll be worth it.” “No, we can stop.” She sat up and moved down his body and took him in her mouth. “Tessa stop,” he said, and she shook her head no and continued. He sat up, “Damn it Tessa, stop!” “Why?” He stood up and led her into the bathroom and showed her back. “Look at this,” he snapped. Her entire back was black and blue. “Okay, so I got hurt.”
He gently kissed her back, “I’m not going anywhere.” “Yes you are. It’s a bruise, there is nothing you’re going to be able to do,” she hugged him, “Well one thing.” She leaned over the sink, shook her butt and smiled back at him. He looked at her and grinned. “You are so…” he started, and he looked at the bruise and shook his head disapprovingly. “Ready to have you gently make love to your future wife,” she said softly. She turned off the light, “Now you can’t see it, please Lucas.” “I can stay two days?” “Are you bargaining with me?” “Uh huh,” he said and he ran his fingers lightly over her. “Yes,” she moaned softly. *** They got out of the shower and heard Maggie yell up “Be down in a minute, Mom,” Tessa got dressed and ran to the top of the stairs and looked down. “You’re to be resting Tessa,” she said and watched Lucas walk down in shorts and a sweatshirt, “Lucas is she resting?” “She needs to take her pain Meds,” he avoided answering directly. “That’s not what I asked,” Maggie said crossly. “Mom, I took a shower I’ll rest now.” Maggie walked out, and Tessa laughed when Lucas handed her the pill and water. “It’s not funny, she scares me,” he cringed and walked away. Tessa took her pills and laid on the couch. Shortly after, she fell asleep. When she woke, her family was all sitting around eating dinner. She sat back and watched them and Lucas right in the middle of them laughing at their silly stories. He looked over and saw her smiling; he walked over and kissed her. “You hungry?” “Yeah,” she said and he pulled her up. *** The next day her mother came over to help her change the bandage. “This needs to be done every day,” she said. “Lucas watched to learn how.” When he saw her arm and hand, he got up and walked out the door. “Apparently, he isn’t going to be very helpful,” Tessa giggled. Maggie pulled the rest of the bandage off, and Tessa cried out in pain. Lucas walked back in. “You better not pull that shit every again,” his voice was pained as he walked quickly past her. Maggie looked at Tessa, and Tessa tried not to laugh. “He’s right Tessa, you could have died, and you almost did.” “Okay,” she whispered. “Mom, do you think this is going to scar?” “Probably Tessa.” She was upset, “Great.” Tessa stood up and walked out the door, “Fuck!” Lucas walked back downstairs, “Maggie is she okay?” “No, she’s upset because she may have scarring on her arm.” “Is it going to be bad?” “I don’t know, but even a little bit, will upset her,” Maggie sighed. “Yeah, I think she already is,” he looked at her standing on the deck.
He walked out and wrapped his arm around her waist. “It disgusts you.” “Its kind of nasty,” he kissed her neck; “It’ll get better.” “What if it doesn’t?” “Then you wear long sleeve shirts all the time,” he laughed. “It's really not all that funny.” “You could bring MJ’s glove back in style,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Still not funny, Lucas.” “It kind of is. Hey, you could get matching tattoos with Adam,” he laughed. “You’re an ass. What if it grosses you out like it did earlier?” “If that happened to me would it gross you out?” “No,” she said softly. “Okay then, stop pouting, you’re alive. For that, I’m grateful. If you ever pull something like that, I will personally kick your ass.” “Not just a spanking?” “And she’s back,” he announced raising his arms to the sky. He turned her around and kissed her. Maggie walked out on the deck, “She needs rest. Rest will help her body heal. Call me if you need anything.” *** Tessa got online and sent out a message saying that she would need a week off due to an injury. “A week Tessa? Are you serious?” he yelled. “I have an appointment in the morning, you can go with me. If he says I have to be out longer I will,” she said not looking at him. She got on facebook and checked out Adrianna’s page so that he could see his sisters. They were decked out in Jets gear he smiled, “My little cheerleaders, hmm. I think you should have an outfit like that. You have a couple messages,” he said and clicked on them. One was from Jessie from a week ago, - Hey, girl I hope you’re not upset with me about the other night, I was trying to piss Miguel off. Your boy was very behaved. I HATE STRIP CLUBS, but after a couple of drinks I tend to act badly, Talk to you soon. Jessie “What’s that all about?” He sat back and took a deep breath. “Well, Jessie was pissed at Miguel for going out the other night, so she found out where he was and conned the bouncer into letting her dance. Miguel was pissed,” Lucas laughed. “So she stripped?” “Yeah, she did.” “Oh,” she sat back. “You’re mad?” “You knew I would be. That’s why you didn’t tell me,” she looked at him and shook her disapprovingly head. “I’m going to bed.” She took her pill and went upstairs. He followed her up, “Tessa, it was no big deal.” “You saw a girl that we hang out with naked.”
“Doesn't mean anything she really isn’t all that good looking.” “That doesn’t matter…you forget I have met some of your ex’s!” “Tessa don’t be silly, I have you,” he tried to kiss her and she pulled back. “So would you be pissed if I did that?” “Yes!” he laughed. “Than stay out of situations like that please,” she lay down and fell asleep. She woke up before him and showered when she got out he stood up. “You couldn’t wait for me?” “Sorry, it's hard to keep this dry,” she raised her arm. “So you’re not mad?” “No,” she said quietly and walked into the closet. She grabbed her clothes and threw them on. “Are you still going to take me or should I call my Mom?” He shook his head, “Tessa I said I was taking you, let’s not go down this dark path again.” “Fine.” Tessa walked down the stairs and he went to shower. She was eating cereal, “Do you want some?” “That nasty stuff, no thank you,” he laughed. “I’m sorry.” “Don't be, I can cook,” he sat down next to her. “Are you feeling better?” “Yes. I’m not going to take the pills before we go. I don’t want to drool on the doctor.” *** She was told as long as she took it easy she could go back to school and teach her class. Her head was healing, and she was given a cream for her arm. “Can I travel?” “You should give it week Tessa, come back next week and if everything is still healing I will release you, got it?” he asked. *** Tessa walked in the house, “Are you leaving?” “No, I’m going to stay awhile do you want your pill?” “I can get it.” “Can you just stop being pissed off at me?” he yelled. “Lucas I’m not mad at you, but you keep acting like I should be which concerns me. By the way… I don’t feel well, and you are yelling at me,” she said calmly. She kissed him, “I’m going to fall asleep soon so if you want to leave you can, but don’t leave thinking I am mad at you because I don’t want to be freaking out all week, it’s bad enough I can’t go with you.” “I’ll leave tonight; I didn’t sleep all that well last night.” They walked upstairs. She grabbed a sweatshirt and threw it on and climbed in bed. He took his shirt and pants off and got in. She smiled at him and wrapped herself around him. He rubbed her back lightly until she fell asleep. She was restless, and he woke her up. “Bad dream?” “Yes,” she looked at him sadly. “What Tessa?” “I don’t remember,” she said and kissed him. “I want you.”
“You got me, baby,” he said and lifted her shirt off. She climbed on him, and he sat up and kissed her as she moved slowly. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as she moved slowly up and down. He sat back and looked at her. “You’re perfect,” he moaned. She turned around so that he wouldn’t see her start to cry. “Nice baby,” he said caressing her breasts from behind as she continued to move. He gently pushed her forward and she was on all fours, and he moved quickly in and out until she screamed his name and he followed. She got up, and he pulled her to him and kissed her. “I love you,” she said. What the hell was that? She thought she had a dream that he was with someone else. She was sure it was because she was upset about the whole strip club thing. She walked downstairs, and he was warming up lunch. “We have a few friends hanging in the trees outside,” he warned her. “Gross,” she replied. He laughed and she took a picture of him standing in their kitchen making lunch and laughing. “What was that for?” “So I can look at it all week,” she hugged him. “Speaking of, I need a new book which means we need to go shopping” he smiled. “When you’re feeling better.”
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX - if you guys aren’t busy can we get together sometime this week?... Tessa “So thank you Ladies for coming to Doe Camp, I have something I want us all to do,” Tessa started. “Tessa I need to tell you guys something first,” Jade started pacing. “Alright, spill it girl.” “I'm pregnant, freaking pregnant!” “Holy cow again?” Phoebe asked. “Yes five months, I went to the doctors today, and I had no idea because I’m still breastfeeding,” she began to cry, “I should’ve known.” Tessa and Phoebe hugged her. “What did Ryan say? I’m sure he is happy” Tessa wiped her tears. “I haven’t told him yet,” Jade cringed. Tessa smiled, “Perfect, we can make a book. A hot sexy pregnant book, for you. A virgin seduction book for you to give Alex the night before your wedding and a dirty slut one for me to give to Lucas, just because!” they all laughed. They planned to get together the next night. She was busy trying to find things to wear and her phone chimed. - hey baby are you busy?... LL - No are you?... LT Her phone rang. “How are you?” Lucas asked. “I’m good,” Tessa said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. “You sound good.” “Jade and Phoebe came over, we had fun.” “I’m glad, I got to watch Beauty and the Beast — twice,” he laughed. “So what are your plans for tomorrow?” “They are coming back, you know to baby sit me,” she said, “And yours?” “Miguel wants me to stay with them for a couple nights, it’s closer to the field,” he explained. “Oh okay, is that what you want?” “It’s not going to weird you out, is it?” “Is she going to be pole dancing?” “I would hardly think so,” he laughed. “Well, I’m okay with it then.” “How are our plans coming?” “I’d love to discuss them with you next time I see you.” “I can’t wait. Anything I can do from here?” “You can start on the guest list for your friends and family, that would be helpful,” she said. “Okay, I will.” “Promise?” “I do,” he laughed. ***
The girls came over, and Tessa had gone shopping. “You’re not supposed to drive,” Phoebe scolded. “I didn’t take my pill, so I am perfectly fine to drive. You ready, Phoebe?” “No way! I’m not going first,” she said. “I will then chicken butt. My deal is no direct face shots, just my body and not of my boo- boo’s,” she grabbed the Jets cheerleading outfit she bought. “Cute,” Jade laughed. Tessa took off the shirt and had a matching green bra, “Go Tessa.” She did a lot of shots with his uniform, helmet, and footballs. They were fun, but she also added some that would make him go crazy. A few of her on the piano, in the garden area, and a few on their bed. Phoebe went next, and Tessa surprised or rather shocked her with some gifts. Tessa’s favorite shot was one that she sat on the deck railing in one of Alex shirts unbuttoned. A cowboy hat and boots with her hair in pigtails chewing on a piece of straw while looking down at her ring. Tessa loved this picture the most. Phoebe was her bending over the railing in white undies looking out at the sunset. “That one is absolutely going to be on the last page,” Tessa beamed. Jade was so naturally seductive it was easy. She had Ryan take a picture on her phone while he was on top of her the night before. It was just her face and chest, and she was covering herself. She did one of her in his hardhat and belt, looking back over her shoulder. The last few were of her belly that was growing. She had a flower and did a shot of one flower and then two, and the last was a third flower, this one was a side shot and showed her beautiful growing belly the best. They played with the pictures for hours, and when they were finally satisfied they ordered the books, they would arrive by Friday. Tessa checked out Facebook. She went to Jessie’s page, and there were pictures of Miguel and Lucas sitting on the couch and a few of them drinking and looking over a playbook. The last was of her sitting between the two of them with her arms around them. Tessa knew better than to be frustrated, but she was. She fell asleep and woke up remembering part of her dream. It was of her in the water with her wedding dress, she wasn’t sure what all that met, but the other image etched in her mind was of Lucas. With someone else. *** She couldn’t sleep. She looked at the clock, and it was five. She sat and played piano for an hour until she finally decided to shower. She felt sore today but decided to go for a run. Her Dad and his friends were pulling in to get ready to go out hunting for the day. “Tessa, where do you think you are going?” John laughed “For a run,” Tessa scowled. “No, you don’t your Momma would have your ass,” he laughed. “Don’t tell her,” Tessa smiled. “Tessa Ann Ross, you’re in the woods, it's hunting season, you’re not going to go running. Get back inside and cook me breakfast,” John demanded. She stomped in and did what she was asked. She sat in the garage and ate breakfast and listened to them talk about Ben and his new girl. He would be graduating in a few months and was starting a business to help people in need. Tessa smiled, of course, he was, she thought. Friday came, and their books were delivered Tessa looked at them, and they were beautiful. Her phone chimed, and it was him - I miss you baby, Miguel and Jessie would like to come stay with us for a
night, maybe two. Are you up for company?... LL - Sure we can have a few people over for dinner, sound alright… LT - Sounds great, I love you… LL Tessa sent out a text to her friends - Dinner at our place, please let me know if you can make it…Tessa Lucas pulled in, and Miguel followed. Chewy bounded out the door after him. He patted his head and squatted down and let him lick his face. Tessa walked out and smiled. He stood up, walked over, and kissed her gently, “Hello, baby.” She wrapped her arms around him and reached up and kissed him again. “I’ve missed you very much,” she whispered in his ear softly. He kissed her again, and she moaned, he smiled, “You did miss me.” She closed her eyes and put her head on his chest. “We have company,” he stroked her hair. She took a deep breath and stepped back. “This is cute,” Jessie hugged Tessa. “Thanks, it’s actually perfect,” she smiled at Lucas. He smiled back. Miguel said hello, and Tessa and Lucas walked them into the house. “Wow… this is much different from what I expected,” Jessie looked at their home. “Lucas designed it,” she wrapped her arm around him. “For you,” he kissed her. “You two need a few minutes?” Miguel asked. They all laughed, and Tessa winked at him. “Let me show you to your room.” They followed with their bags. “You two upstairs again?” Alex yelled as he and Phoebe walked in Tessa laughed and ran down the stairs. “Mom’s mad at you,” Alex smirked. “What? Why?” “Because you’re supposed to be resting Tessa.” Lucas looked at her concerned and then at Alex, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” “Don’t worry about it, Phoebe helped me clean and cook everything is fine ALEX,” she glared at him. Ryan and Jade walked in with the kids, and Lukie jumped on Lucas. Tessa immediately took Riley. “Hello beautiful,” she said and held her closely. Lucas watched her and smiled. “When are you two going to start making babies?” Jessie asked Lucas. “Not anytime soon,” Lucas laughed. “I like other people’s kids, but have absolutely no desire to do this for a long time,” Jessie pointed at the kids and laughed. “Me either,” he swung Lukie around, “But he’s cool.” Tessa felt her heart sink; Jade looked at her and rolled her eyes. “Hey Phoebe, Jade will you come upstairs with me?” They walked in her room, and Tessa gave them their photo books. “I don’t like her,” Jade said.
Tessa smiled, “She’s okay, let it be.” They looked through the books and Phoebe blushed. “Wow, check me out.” *** “Hey Ryan, Jade needs you upstairs,” Tessa smiled as she walked down the stairs. Ryan came down smiling with his book in his hand. “What do you have?” Lucas asked. “Another one on the way,” Ryan smiled. “Congratulations?” he asked, and Jessie laughed. “Of course, congratulations,” Tessa shot both of them a nasty look. Jessie and Lucas both giggled. Tessa walked away, and Luke walked with her. She sat and read to Luke and Riley, and both of them drifted off. She smiled and kissed them and fell asleep too. She woke when Jade and Ryan lifted them off her lap. “Sorry, I fell asleep,” Tessa stood up “I still don’t like her,” Jade kissed her cheek. Tessa looked over at Lucas. He was sitting at the table laughing with Jessie and Miguel; Jessie seemed very comfortable with him. She looked at Phoebe and hugged her, “I’m going to bed.” She went upstairs and tossed and turned. She fell asleep and woke up an hour later. She got up and looked down to the living room. Miguel was asleep; Jessie and Lucas were talking and drinking. She walked downstairs and past them she grabbed her medicine and took a pill, she needed to sleep, and she was pissed. “Goodnight, Tessa,” Jessie said, “Thanks for dinner.” “Goodnight,” she walked upstairs. Tessa heard them laugh, and she lay in bed and cried herself to sleep. Tessa got up and went for a walk, she didn’t care who would be pissed. Lucas hadn’t come to bed for another hour, she felt him get in. He had not touched her since he got there, and he seemed to not be able to get enough of Jessie’s attention. She walked for and hour and finally went home. She walked in, and Lucas was pacing. “Where have you been?” he snapped. She took out her ear buds and raised her eyebrow, “I went for a walk.” “You’re supposed to be resting, it’s only been a week,” he ran his hair though his hair clearly frustrated and tried to hug her. She looked at him, “Don’t.” Tessa walked upstairs. Lucas cooked breakfast and she heard the three of them downstairs talking. She texted Phoebe - come make up an excuse to get me out of here, before I blow up… Tessa Twenty minutes later Phoebe walked in. “Hey Lucas, where is Tessa?” Phoebe asked. “I think she’s taking a shower,” he said. “Wow, how long has she been up there? I mean I would hate to think something could have happened to her since she is supposed to be resting and all. You remember Lucas, she almost died a week ago but don’t worry we have handled it so far, we can keep doing it,” she snapped as she ran up the stairs. She walked in, and Tessa locked the door behind her. She cried, and Phoebe hugged her. Someone knocked on the door, and Phoebe got up and opened it. “Is she alright?” Jessie asked.
“She is now, she is going to sleep for awhile, apparently she didn’t get much sleep last night,” Phoebe said. “Is she angry at me?” Jessie asked. “Tessa is not a catty, game playing girl, if she is mad at you, you’d know it, and it would be for good reason. She needs to rest,” Phoebe shut the door and lay down with her. Phoebe came down an hour later and grabbed her coat and walked out not saying a word. Lucas walked out after her, “Is she okay?” “Why don’t you ask her Lucas?” she yelled. “Last night, you didn’t say two words to her, I did however catch that you didn’t want kids and you and your little friend snickering at her. What is wrong with you? You’re an ass! She’s asleep, and I’ll be back in two hours to help her, I don’t know fix fucking dinner for you and your friends.” Phoebe got in Alex truck and left. “You’re in trouble,” Jessie giggled. “No, she’s right, I have been an ass,” he said and then laughed. “I am so screwed.” Miguel walked upstairs and poked his head in the door, he saw Tessa was sleeping. He grabbed their bags and walked downstairs. “We’re going to get going man. We’ll see you tomorrow right?” he asked. Lucas went upstairs and lay next to Tessa. He fell asleep. When he woke up, she was downstairs with Phoebe. He walked down and looked at her. “You're pissed at me?” She looked away “I’ll see you later,” Phoebe hugged her “If you need anything, call me.” “I just don’t understand?” she said and cried, “Why does this not feel right?” “Sorry, I brought people back to my house Tessa, they are my friends,” Lucas slammed the refrigerator door. “Okay, so you now have female friends, and now you don’t want kids?” she asked. “Tessa I’ve lost three, do you understand that?” he asked. “Yeah, I kind of get it,” she snapped. “So maybe I’m not supposed to have them,” he said. “Miguel is my friend and Jessie is his girlfriend.” “He was asleep, and you stayed down here for hours talking to her and laughing when you have spent days at their house. You hadn’t even said a word to me since you pulled in the driveway and it makes me feel like you don’t care,” she started to cry again. “No need to cry Tessa,” he said standing up, “I am heading out tonight, I don’t need this! You’re being foolish!” He walked up the stairs. She heard him slamming doors and drawers and then it was quiet. She went up and cleaned the guest bath and stripped the bed. She brought the dirty sheets to the garage to wash. She walked into the living room, and he was sitting and looking at the book. “Did you do this for me?” he smiled. “No, it was a gift for my father you...” she said and saw his bags. “Have a great week.” She walked upstairs, lay down, and fell asleep. *** Tessa woke up screaming, and he ran up the stairs. “Are you alright?” “I thought you were leaving,” she lay back down and turned her back to him. “What are you dreaming about Tessa?” “None of your business.”
“It is, and you know it,” he rubbed her back. “It’s me in the water in a wedding dress,” she said. “Okay? Now leave!” He kissed her, “Maybe that’s why you’re on edge.” “No Lucas — yesterday is why I’m on edge. I think I’ve been very cool about things lately. And see where that gets me? In bed alone last night, while you hang out with a girl you have spent the last three nights with talking about not wanting kids,” she snapped. “Alright the baby thing, I sometimes feel I don’t deserve them. I don’t want another lose Tessa, do you?” “I’m not willing to give up on that.” “And Jessie has been helping me with my list for our wedding.” “Oh, I see, you can’t do that with me?” “You asked me to do it, I have no idea about wedding etiquette,” he kissed her. “Don’t fight with me, these are huge steps Tessa. Steps I never thought I would take,” he tried to kiss her again. “You’ve told me you wanted to marry me since you met me. I’m the one who has pushed it back. So now you doubt it?” she asked. “Cold feet Lucas? If so, say the words.” “I love you, I want to marry you,” he said, “Those are the only words I have for you right now, Tessa I love you, don’t do this to us.” She felt foolish he always seemed to be able to smooth things over maybe it was her. “Do you want me to leave?” “No,” she said quietly. “Good,” he said and pulled her against him. She felt pressure against her back, and he reached around and caressed her and everything was better. That’s all it took to erase her unease. Stupid girl, she thought. *** Alex and Phoebe got married on a Friday night, and the wedding was small and beautiful. Tessa pulled Alex aside, “Did you like the book?” “What do you think?” he asked laughing. “Make our family proud tonight,” she hugged him as he laughed. She hugged Phoebe, “Enjoy tonight.” Phoebe smiled, “I think I will.” *** The next day Lucas had his first game since he had gotten hurt and he did amazing. Tessa stayed in New Jersey with him. Tessa was attending all his games. At the end of the season, they were in the playoffs in a wild card spot. Lucas was excited and was working out harder than ever before. He had completely healed and was physically in the best shape of his life. They didn’t make it past the playoffs but had a great season. He dove into school the next semester with hopes to finish that spring. On Spring break, he went to training camp, and she went with him. They checked into the hotel and went right to the room. “Checkout this room,” she smiled. “Nice huh?” he threw her on the bed. She laughed, and he tore off her clothes. He seemed happier than he had been in months. She pulled his shirt off over his head, and he smiled. “Don’t stop there,” and pointed down.
She did as she was asked as he guided her head and finally finished. He lay down. “You’re amazing,” he said as she walked to the bathroom. When she came out, he had fallen asleep. She watched him sleep for awhile and his phone chimed waking him. - Party at the pool in twenty minutes…Miguel At the party, Lucas mingled with the others, and Tessa danced and had fun. She had a few too many to drink, and she walked up to him. “Take me to bed Lucas,” she whispered. “There will be plenty of time for that,” he kissed her. “Let’s hang out here for a while.” She scowled at him and walked back to the dance floor. She watched him talking and flirting with the wives and girlfriends. Something she had grown used to over the past couple months. One of the new hopefuls asked her to dance, and she accepted. As they danced Jessie pointed it out to Lucas, who by this time was intoxicated, he walked over and grabbed her arm. “Let’s go!” She smiled at him and laughed, “Baby, there will be plenty of time for that. Beside’s you already got a blow job you should be all set for tonight.” Tessa winked at him and continued dancing. He pulled her through the crowd and they went upstairs, he was pissed. “That is not how my future wife is going to act,” he said as he began peeled her very tight dress off. “Well my dear, future husband, if it’s okay for you, it should be for me,” she slapped his hand away. “What the fuck Tessa, it’s not the same,” he grabbed her hand. “You're hurting me,” she said, he let go, “I’m going back down to the party.” “The fuck you are!” The room was spinning and Tessa walked into the bathroom and threw up. “Nice, my drunk little bitch,” he snapped and she threw a bottle of body wash at him. Lucas looked at her, and she threw up again. “You need to move, I have to take a piss.” She threw up and tried to grab a hair tie from the counter and went back to the toilet and bent over and threw up again, she felt something wet on her leg and looked over. He was pissing on her leg. “I told you to move,” he laughed. She stood up and slapped him, and he continued to laugh. “Just marking my territory.” She jumped in the shower and when she got out he was gone. His phone chimed it was her - I hate you… Tessa - Not as much as you’re going to… Lucas - where are you?... Tessa - I’m going to dance baby, and not with you... Lucas She was throwing her things in her bag when he stumbled back in the room. “Put that down and get your ass in bed,” he laughed. “Fuck you!” “That’s the plan, either you or one of those girls down there,” he glared at her. She started to cry. “Don’t do that,” he stumbled towards her.
“I’m done with this Lucas.” “No, you’re not,” he grabbed her and kissed her. “Stop it,” she pulled away from him. “You asked for it earlier, and then you went and danced with the new guy, did you not expect this to end up this way? What the hell Tessa, you really enjoy pushing my buttons” his eyes were red showing anger. “Yeah, this can be done, I won’t be treated like this!” “You pissed on me,” she screamed at him. “You got in my way!” he yelled back. She sat on the bed and cried, and he watched her knowing he screwed up...again. He walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. When he came out, he found her curled up in a corner. “Tessa, I’m sorry,” he said, “I’ll leave, you stay here.” Lucas started to walk away and she grabbed his hand, he looked at her. “I love you,” he said softly. She lay down, and he lay next to her, “Don’t you EVER do that again.” He kissed her, “I won’t, I promise.” They both passed out. The next morning she woke and looked around the room he was gone. She ran a bath and grabbed towels. The night before was a blur, but she remembered the key points. She lay in the big Jacuzzi tub, and he walked in with flowers. She looked up at him. “I’m sorry.” “They’re beautiful,” she looked at them, yellow roses and white daisies. “Can you forgive me?” “Yes, can you forgive me?” she said. “For what?” “I don’t know — dancing with that boy?” she said confused. “Or whatever else I did that made you so angry.” “I don’t know,” he smiled shyly. “Maybe if I can get in with you, I will.” She didn’t say no, and he was naked and in the tub in less than thirty seconds. He pulled her onto him and kissed her she kissed him back. They made love. She laid at the pool for most of the day studying for finals. And at night they went to dinner and hung out neither of them drank. Her phone rang at three in the morning it was Ryan, “Jade’s water broke.” “Are you really going?” “Of course. My flight leaves in two hours” she smiled, “You’re not mad, are you?” “No, I guess not,” he said rubbing his eyes. “You go back to sleep sleepy head,” she kissed him. “I can’t, I’ll take you,” he stood up. “I already have a cab coming,” she smiled. “But you first,” she said as she pushed him down. He smiled and shook his head, “You’re the best baby.” He walked her to the door, and they kissed, “Fly safe.” *** Jade and Ryan welcomed their third child into the world an hour after Tessa arrived, it was a boy and they named him Jackson Ryan. He looked just like Ryan. His phone chimed - Baby Jackson is here, and he looks just like his Daddy, I miss you already…
LT She went home and made a return flight, she was going to surprise him. She slept for a few hours and showered and left for the airport. *** When she arrived at the hotel, they were all in the bar. Lucas was dancing with the wives. She sat at the bar and watched as they rubbed up against him and he just looked at them. He gave them no smile, but his eyes, his eyes always showed everything. Tessa knew he was enjoying himself. Jessie saw her sitting there and walked over, “Your boys, drunk.” “I see that,” she said and looked down. The song was ending, and one of them grabbed his face and kissed him, he dipped her and pulled his face away from her. They both laughed, and he walked her over to her husband. They stayed there and talked for awhile. The wife Tammy stared at Lucas the whole time. She saw her whisper in his ear and he laughed and shook his head no and turned and walked towards the bar, she saw him shake his head, clench his jaw, and flare his nose. The same way he looked at her, when he was turned on. He was five feet away from her and ordered a shot. Miguel walked up and whispered in his ear, and Lucas’s eyes widened and he looked down at Tessa, who was sitting on a bar stool with her head down. Lucas walked up to her and smiled cautiously, “You came back.” She didn’t look at him, but he saw her eyebrow rise. “And you’re pissed,” he scowled. She didn’t respond, he lifted her chin, and she looked at him. “Would you be, Lucas?” she asked. “Yeah, I guess so,” he hugged her. “Then don’t do that again,” she said sadly. “I won’t,” he picked her up and kissed her. *** They walked to the room, and he slowly undressed her and laid her on the bed, she was exhausted. “Lucas I’m tired,” she said quietly. He kissed her neck and down her body. She moaned, and he pleasured her until her body crumbled into a perfect pile of pleasure. He lifted her up and softly kissed her breasts and slowly pushed into her she wrapped her arms around his neck as he thrust faster and faster into her. She felt her body turn to JellO, and he rolled her over and dragged her to the end of the bed. He pushed into her hard, and she gasped. He held her hair with one hand and wrapped his arm around her waist with the other and stimulated her as he continued to slam into her. He felt her tense up and try to pull away, but he held her tightly to him. He pulled out, laid her on the bed, and kissed her as he moved into her again and again. He finally finished, and she couldn’t move. He lay on his back panting, as she fell asleep. *** They landed in Ithaca and walked out of the airport hand in hand. She had forgiven him, and he accepted. She was his forever, and he knew it. Tessa was finishing her last two clinical’s and still teaching her class. She was busy with her family and friends. Phoebe was pregnant. Jade and Ryan had little Jackson and another on the way, and Tessa was very excited for both of them. She had surprised Lucas with a trip to Virginia Beach for his birthday, and they were joined by several of his teammates.
In April, Lucas was getting offers from several other teams, Tessa wanted him to stay put, but he wanted to entertain the offers. He flew to Tampa Bay and talked with them. And to Wisconsin for a deal he was interested in. He talked to coach Brown a lot about what he should do, his advice meant a lot to Lucas. When he got a call from the 49ers Tessa thought it was like Christmas for Lucas, it was finals week for her and the day he was meeting the niners, she couldn’t miss. “I haven’t asked you to go to the others Tessa, but this is the one I want. Is school really that important in the grand scheme of things?” “Lucas I have one final, that’s it,” she said quietly. “Fine but after we get married, I want you with me. You can teach your silly little exercise class or whatever, but I don’t want to be lonely. Because believe me Tessa, I don’t have to be,” he told her. “I love you,” she smiled as his flight was being called. “I love you,” he kissed her. “Three days?” She said looking down. “Yeah,” he kissed her again. “I’m going to miss you,” she grabbed his waist and pulled him closer to her. “Good,” he smiled down at her. She walked to the ticket counter and booked a flight to go see him tomorrow after her last final. Her return flight was perfect she was able to get one in first class with him, although it cost her a ton it would be worth it to see that smile she loved so much. She was going to surprise him and then she would travel with him and enjoy his smile all the time. She understood that was what he needed it always had been, to just have someone to love him. He was needy, but almost five years later it was still her that he needed and wanted, her broken boy now a man. *** Tessa walked into the lobby and got the concierge to give her a key, she had to show him pictures, and ID and even a copy of their wedding invitation, but it worked… she had a room key. She brought a bottle of wine and a basket of lotions. She opened the door and snuck in and set the basket on the table by his suit. She heard music from the bedroom, and she took off her coat and dress, she had a hot black piece on she knew he would love. She opened the door and froze. Lucas was standing over a brunette pounding into her from behind. “Harder, Links,” she was yelling over and over again. He laughed, “Any harder baby, and you’ll be through that wall.” She stood up and pushed him down and got on top of him. Tessa couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, but tears poured out of her eyes, and she finally willed herself to move and she ran out and grabbed her clothes and quietly slipped out the door. She started to walk away and decided that wasn’t going to happen. She texted him - I have a surprise for you what room are you in?... LT He didn’t respond, she called his phone, he didn’t answer. She leaned against the wall pissed and then tears started to fall, no fucking tears, for him again. She wiped her face and sent him another text. - I’m in San Francisco to see you Lucas, what room are you in?...Tessa. - sorry, just got this are you really here are you in the hotel?... LL - Yep… Tessa. - I’ll meet you in the lobby baby… LL
Five long minutes later the door opened and he kissed the girl goodbye. “Sorry, something came up,” Lucas looked across the hall and Tessa was standing there. “Tessa,” his jaw dropped. “Baby, it’s not what you think.” Tessa turned to walk away. Lucas grabbed her and pulled her into him. “No, no, no,” he said and his eyes filled with tears. The girl left. “Take your hands off of me, you disgust me,” Tessa sneered. “What do you have to say Lucas?” Lucas looked terrified, “You can’t leave me, Tessa. I love you.” Tessa laughed and all of the sudden felt dizzy, she ran in and grabbed the garbage and threw up. He pulled her hair back and she pulled away. She walked with the garbage into the bathroom. She shut the door and crumbled to the floor. She grabbed the towels and screamed into them. He knocked “Tessa let me in.” She washed her face and brushed her teeth with his toothbrush and pulled her hair back. She opened the door and walked past him; she grabbed her bag and walked toward the door. “What was going on in here Lucas?” she asked calmly. He looked terrified. “I asked you a question.” He shook his head, and she walked towards the door. “Where are you going to go?” he asked softly. “Away from this scene,” she started to cry again, “How could you do this Lucas? How could you?” Tessa screamed and her body shook, and she couldn’t stop it. “Did you fuck her?” She screamed, she wanted, no needed him to say it. He shook his head no, but his eyes showed otherwise. “Tell me Lucas, say it!” she yelled. “Tessa, come sit down… please?” “I can’t believe you,” her voice was barely a whisper. He started walking her to the bed “I don’t think so,” Tessa cried. “I’m not going to do anything Tessa,” he said softly, “Not until you are ready, not until we can make this better.” Lucas looked at her and looking in his eyes she knew that he was searching, and she couldn’t give him what he needed ever again. He grabbed her and picked her up. “Let go of me,” she said as he approached the bed, “Don’t you put me on that thing, let me down!” He walked to the couch, “Baby.” “Don’t you ever call me that again,” she glared at him, “Ever!” “Okay,” he sat. “Tessa, what can I do?” “I think you know the answer to that. I need to leave. I can’t look at you right now and you smell like cheap perfume, and I saw you Lucas,” she threw the room key at him, “I couldn’t move — I saw you and heard you and… I need to leave.” Tessa stood up, and Lucas grabbed her she pushed his hands away. “Tessa, I’m so sorry, I love you, I don’t know what I was thinking Tessa. I wasn’t thinking, damn it, please look at me!” he stood up and punched a hole through the wall. “Shit!” His hand was bleeding. Tessa grabbed his hand “You’re an idiot.” “I know,” she squeezed his hand, and he flinched.
“Go take a shower. I can’t even look at you; you smell… you smell like her!” “Will you be here when I get out? Please Tessa,” he pleaded. “I’m going to take you to the hospital,” unbelievable, she thought. He went to shower, and she tried to keep it together. She had to just for now, get him through this… she laughed at herself, you’re fucking pathetic Tessa! *** They walked back into the hotel. He stopped at the desk, and she stood back. She had completely avoided eye contact with him, she felt like she was going to lose any sanity she was holding onto. They gave him a room key. They walked into a different room, and their baggage was delivered. She was on the phone when he walked out of the bathroom. “Yes, room 2072, Thank you,” she hung up. “Tessa, thank you,” he hugged her. “Lucas I am trying to keep it together, don’t touch me,” she pulled away. “Are you tired?” “I don’t know what I am.” She looking down and started to cry. “I don’t even know who I am right now.” Lucas cried too, “Is there anything I can do Tessa? Please tell me I can fix this, I don’t want to live without you.” “You’ll figure it out,” she said and walked into the bathroom with her bag. She took a shower and cried. She wanted desperately to run home. She wanted her mom to hold her, and cradle her, and rub her head until she fell asleep. She was going to fall apart. Then she cried even harder knowing that he needed someone too, and he had no one. Tommy was gone, his parents…God, his parents, couldn’t help him, they never had before. And finally she cried knowing the pain she was going to have to swallow until she could make it better for him. The boy who knew love because of her, the boy who she knew had loved her a long time ago. The same one who ripped her heart to shreds every time she felt it would get better. When she walked out, he was sitting on the bed rocking himself back and forth. He looked the same way he did when he sat on her bathroom floor, when they’d talked about Sadie’s pregnancy. The same way he did at camp after he had slept with Sadi while living with her family. And she was that same stupid girl who held him together when he looked like he would crumble apart. “Lucas you’re going to be fine,” she sat next to him. “You can stop trying to make this better for me Tessa, I know I’ve lost you, again,” he said softly. There was a knock at the door, and Tessa got it, it was his pain medication. She grabbed a bottle of water and handed him a pill. “I don’t want that. If I take it I’ll fall asleep, and you’ll be gone,” he put his head back into his knees. “Lucas we’re not okay, we will never ever be again. I love you even though right now it makes me sick to say it, I’ll always want you to be okay. I’ve spent five years of my life loving you, it’ll get easier but it probably will never go away,” she was crying again, and he hugged her. “I don’t deserve you, I never did,” he said. “And that was your problem the whole time,” she looked at him. “Take this, we have the same flight home, and I really don’t have anywhere to be right now.” “Can we sleep?” he asked looking down. “Yes,” she lay down. “She was in my nightmare, Lucas.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I didn’t know that this…You and I both know it wouldn’t have mattered,” she said, and they fell asleep.
*** When she woke up, she was laying on his chest with her body wrapped around him. He was still asleep and she watched him, not moving. How was this going to pan out, how would she go on without him. She cried again and he woke up feeling her tears on his chest. “Are you awake?” She didn’t move she wanted to stay here and not let go, she loved him so much. “I’m going to fix this if it takes me forever, if not there is no reason to be here,” he whispered. She didn’t move and she couldn’t let him destroy himself, but she couldn’t do this. She fell back to sleep and had the same dream. “Tessa wake up.” He kissed her, and she kissed him back she climbed on him and whispered please in her sleep as she clung to him. “Baby wake up,” he said, and he started to tear up again, “Damn it Tessa, I can’t tell you no, baby wake up!” Tessa opened her eyes and sat up. Her eyes widened, and she felt him beneath her. “Lucas.” “I tried to wake you up,” he looked hurt. She hugged him and cried, “Why?” *** They sat on the plane next to each other. She felt him watching her the whole time; she fell asleep and woke in his arms. She quickly sat up, “Sorry.” “I’m not,” he said. “Not about holding you anyway.” They drove home and walked into the house “Now what, Tessa.” “Lucas, you have finals next week,” she said quietly. “Like I give a shit about finals, you’re the one who was all about finishing school, hey think about this… if you were with me, none of this shit would have happened. Finals,” he said he was pacing and clenching his hands, “Fuck that… oh, and were you checking up on me?” “No Lucas, I was trying to surprise you,” she walked outside. He walked out the door, “Which one of us is leaving, Tessa?” She looked confused, “I haven’t even thought about that.” “Don’t you fucking cry,” he walked inside. Tessa changed and went for a walk, and when she came home, he was gone. *** “Where are you?” she asked when he answered the phone. “What does it matter?” “I don’t know, I just want to know if you’re okay.” He laughed, “Does it really matter?” “I told you it did,” she said softly. “Yeah, and I told you I didn’t fuck Jenny,” he laughed. “Wow,” she hung up. ***
Two days later, he walked in the door looking like hell. He was unshaven and his clothes wrinkled. “Honey, I’m home,” he laughed. “You’re drunk,” she said. “No, actually I’m high,” he laughed, “Are you going to make me dinner?” She went upstairs and packed a bag, he walked up and grabbed it. “I thought we were going to get through finals baby,” he kissed her neck. Tessa lost it, she punched him about five times, and he laughed with each blow. When he had enough, he pinned her on the bed, and she couldn’t move. “You want to do me?” she asked. “You consenting?” he asked. “Let go of my hands and I will show you” he laughed, and she grabbed him and squeezed as hard as she could. He yelled out, and she pushed him off, “Not consenting asshole — hitting you the only place it matters.” She ran down the stairs. Alex and Phoebe pulled in. “Shit!” Tessa yelled. He came downstairs and looked at her. His glare was fierce. “You haven’t told them, have you?” he laughed tauntingly. “I don’t want them to hate you,” she said, “Behave!” They walked in, and Lucas sat on the couch. “Hi guys,” he smiled. “Hello, how was San Francisco?” Alex asked. “Oh wonderful, best moments of my life,” Lucas laughed. “Baby would you grab Alex, and I a beer? Phoebe do you want one Tessa is in a very welcoming mood today.” “No, I can’t,” she smiled. Tessa looked at her and smiled. “Are you?” She shook her head, and Tessa hugged her and cried. “Congratulations,” she hugged Alex and grabbed them a drink. “That’s great,” Lucas said sweetly, “Tessa baby, come sit with me?” “Oh Lucas… I’m very busy,” she wiped her tears. “Did you ever tell them about our baby Tessa?” “Lucas that’s enough,” she felt herself start to shake. Alex looked at her, “What’s going on Tessa?” “Lucas has had too much to drink,” she said. “I think he was about to head upstairs to sleep it off.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN Tessa woke up the next day, and Lucas was downstairs going through files of paperwork. “Hello,” he said. “Hi.” “Can we talk?” he asked and she sat down across from him. “What’re we doing here?” Lucas’s tone was very businesslike. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I really don’t know what you’re asking.” “Well let’s start with us, are we going to get through this?” he asked. “We are both going to be fine once we get past all the hurt,” she answered. “No, Tessa are we ever going to be back together?” “No,” she couldn’t look at him. “Okay, so the house…” “It’s yours.” “Okay, what about all the land?” “I don’t know what you and Dad discussed?” “Well, we have ten acres, he sold it to me for next to nothing so you can have it, just let me keep the two that surround the house.” “I want to know how much I owe you for it.” “I’m not worried about it,” he said dismissing her. “I am.” “Fine it was like two hundred dollars an acre.” “Okay, so I owe you sixteen hundred dollars.” “You got it?” “Yes.” That’s almost all she had, her plane ticket to hell cost almost two grand. “I want an agreement that if you sell, my family gets the first chance to buy.” He smiled, “You’re tough Tessa.” “Is that it?” she asked swallowing hard. “Do you need a break?” “No.” “Do you have somewhere you need to be?” “No,” she whispered. He got up and grabbed a couple bottles of water and handed her one. “Assets.” “What assets?” “We have savings, Tessa,” he said and pushed the book over to her, and she pushed it back. “Lucas WE didn’t, what are you… like fifty?” she asked looking down. “No, but I have been on my own for a very long time. I’m pretty good at a few things and money is one of them,” He said, and she looked down, “I want you to see Tessa.” He had over one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in the account. “Good job Lucas,” she smiled quickly. “That does nothing in this situation?” he asked knowing the answer. She laughed and shook her head, “It’ll pay for lots of condoms and plenty of therapy.”
He tried not to smile. “How much do you want?” “Look at me; I want nothing, just what I said. If you sell, we get first option to buy, and I want to pay for the land,” she stood up. “We aren’t finished, let’s get this done,” he said, and she sat down and crossed her arms in front of her. “Furniture?” “Just my grandmother's cabinet,” she said. “And my mixer.” “What about your piano?” he asked avoiding eye contact. “I never really had a chance to get very good at it,” she said coldly, and he smirked. “There she is,” he looked at her. “Let’s have it.” “I didn’t do this, and I don’t want to fight, Lucas.” “So we’re done here.” “No, my demands.” “Let’s hear them,” he said looking at her. “You have two finals tomorrow, pass them.” “Okay.” “We have a graduation party here next weekend invitations have already sent to everyone, another surprise, all sent out the day you left for San Francisco, it’s for both of us, be here.” “Fine.” “I haven’t told anyone yet, I want to get through the party. I don’t want everyone feeling uncomfortable. I’m not sure where you were for two days, and I really don’t care but I would like to know who you have told.” “No one,” he answered. “I’ll move out the next day.” “Anything else?” “Our relationship: good and bad things Lucas was between you and I. No one needs to hear about our shit.” She swallowed hard, “What you said yesterday to Alex and Phoebe was very poor timing, and it was mean.” “I apologize, Tessa.” “And you have to be okay. You have to not fall apart, or blow off everything that you have worked for.” “Okay and how about you?” “I’ll be fine, I want you to still be friends with our friends, and I want you to stop thinking you need all that attention to feel worthy, Lucas. It wasn’t a sex thing… it was you needing to feel needed and wanted. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you, I’m sorry that I…” she took a deep breath and looked down, “I’m sorry I needed to do this for me. But that will never change, I’m not some needy week plastic fake whore. Tell me you’ll try to be okay.” “Is that all I can do, Tessa?” he asked softly. “Yes, Lucas.” “Then I will,” he said and she walked upstairs. She came back down and grabbed her laptop, and he was on the phone with a lawyer. She looked at him and wanted to slap him, kick him, anything but still love him. What was wrong with her, why did she feel this way? *** The graduation party was huge… she had overdone it in a major way. But everyone was enjoying themselves. She and Lucas were civil and neither drank.
“Hey Tess,” she heard from behind her it was Ben. “BEN,” she yelled and hugged him. “You did it, girl,” he smiled. “So did you, right? I didn’t get an invitation or anything,” she laughed. She saw Lucas, Miguel, and Jessie. Lucas grabbed a beer. She looked away. “I’m going to wait. I’m only home for a few more days and then back overseas. I need to tell you something.” “I want to sing.” “Sounds great,” Ben smiled. “But first, I want you to know I got engaged.” She smiled and hugged him, “Congratulations. Where is she?” “She’s in Italy; I am going back in a couple days. My parents insisted I come home to do dinner with our family for graduation,” he grabbed her hand, and they walked to the DJ booth. “Ladies first, but I’m picking,” he smiled. The music started, and Tessa smiled at Ben, it was Ironic by Alanis Morissette. And it was, and no one around even knew. She walked away and grabbed a drink. Ben started singing Name by the Goo Goo Dolls, and she grabbed Kendall and danced. Lucas brought Jessie out and danced. It appeared that everyone was having a good time. “Tess come sing with me… hopefully your future hubby won’t be too upset, hey Lucas I’m getting married in a year too buddy so you can relax now,” he winked. Tessa looked at Lucas, he was pissed. Tessa grabbed Lucas, “You promised.” “Your number two is getting married Tessa, you may want to say something to him or I can,” he smiled at her. “No Lucas, I’m good thanks,” she walked away. Lucas grabbed her hand, “Hey Ben, play us a song buddy, dance with me Tessa.” She grabbed a beer, “Fine.,” Ben sang Hook, by Blues Travelers. Tessa laughed and looked at Ben. He immediately followed with Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Deep Blue Something. Tessa looked at Lucas, and he was stiff and angry. “Please Lucas don’t drink anymore tonight.” “Why Baby?” he asked, “You are.” “Don’t call me baby and don’t drink,” she snapped. He smiled “Does HE know?” everyone watching them dance. “No, of course not!” “Everyone’s looking Tessa,” he rubbed his nose against hers. “Stop,” she said quietly. He kissed her and held her head tightly to him, “You better do better than that.” Tessa stepped down on his foot hard he had sandals on. “Thank you for the dance,” she smiled and hugged him and snapped in his ear, “Cut the shit.” “Come on, Tessa,” Ben laughed in the microphone. She slammed a beer and grabbed Kendall. They sang Dancing Queen and everyone danced including Lucas and every female at the party. Tessa was buzzing. And Lucas requested a song the DJ called her up to dance with him. “You're pushing it, pal,” she smiled for those watching. “Listen to the song, Tessa,” he kissed her neck. “Remember this? It was Eternal Flame the song from the first time they danced together. “I remember everything, Lucas.” “Don’t get sad this is what you want,” he rubbed his hand down her back and pulled her into him.
“Lucas stop,” she pulled back. “Why am I tarnishing your squeaky clean image?” She pulled away and started walking towards the house. “Hello everyone! Tessa baby come here,” she heard Lucas on the microphone. “We would like to thank you all for coming to our party.” He grabbed her hand. She looked at him and smiled. “Isn’t she just perfect?” he rubbed her face gently. “Well, I’m not — huh baby?” “Lucas has had a bit too much to drink” she smiled nervously, “Come on, Lucas.” “No, Tessa I think we should share our news with everyone. So Tessa is very talented isn’t she?” he said and looked at the crowd, “She can sing, and shake that perfect, untouched ass,” he said looking at Ben. “Take notes buddy, untouched, that’s one thing she would never do.” “Lucas enough,” she pleaded, “Please.” “No, baby they deserve to know, they’re your friends and family. Tessa is also a great actress; she’s been fooling you all for a week. We were going to save the surprise for tomorrow but to save her from retelling the story to each of you — listen carefully.” She started walking away, and he grabbed her hand. The music still played in the background, and she felt her body shake slightly and unwelcome tears welled in her eyes. She felt cold, numb, embarrassed, and the pain in her chest was almost crippling. She looked at everyone staring at her, and finally let out a breath, and she could hear him going on and on. “Tessa and I are not getting married; she broke things off in San Francisco when she, being so amazing flew out to surprise me. Well, I don’t think she expected me to be balls deep in a girl I met at the hotel bar. So Tessa had already invited you all here, another surprise and to not disappoint any of you she made me promise not to say anything. She didn’t want it to be uncomfortable for you. Fuck it, the least I can do is save her from explaining this all to you right? Well, a few drinks later and here I am, letting you know Tessa is single and very capable of pleasing, as a matter a fact she is fucking perfect. So Ben, you can be number two buddy. And Alex and Phoebe…” Tessa pulled her hand away and ran in the house. Landon grabbed Lucas and walked him to the car. “What the fuck are you doing?” Landon pushed him against the car. “Exactly what you taught me to do,” Lucas laughed. “Now… take your damn hands off me and let me go back to my party.” Lucas pulled away and walked back to the party. Some of his teammates were there still, Miguel had walked in the house to use the bathroom Tessa was telling everyone she was fine and to take care of Lucas. “He’s hurting just as much as I am, don’t you dare be nasty to him,” she warned them all. She stood doing dishes when Miguel walked up to her, “You want me to get him out of here?” “No, it’s his house but thank you, please make sure he’s alright?” “You're serious aren’t you?” he asked looking at her in shock. “Yes I am,” she continued doing dishes. “Tessa I’m so sorry,” Miguel hugged her. “Miguel, I’m fine,” she smiled. They heard yelling, and Tessa ran outside Ben and Lucas were on the ground, and Alex and Ryan were breaking them up. Both had some nice cuts on their faces. “You’re nothing but a piece of fucking white trash Lucas you piece of shit bitch,” Ben yelled and pulled away from Alex. Tessa ran and grabbed him. “This party is far too exciting as it is Ben… let’s walk,” she grabbed his hand. “She gives a mean blow job,” Lucas yelled.
“Yeah, I know fucktard,” Ben yelled back. He looked at Tessa and saw the shock on her face. “I’m so sorry,” he tried not to laugh. Tessa and Ben both began laughing, and couldn’t stop. They were about half way to camp when she finally held her stomach and took a deep breath. Ben hugged her tightly and let out a breath. “Damn it, Tess,” Ben closed his eyes. “It’s been one hell of a night, now my whole family knows all about my business,” she said laughing again. They walked more and sat in the field. “How are you?” “Perfect,” she laughed, “Even Lucas says so.” “Okay Tess, but really how are you?” Ben grabbed her hand. “First love thing, remember, I will be fine,” she said, “We should go back I’m sure I have some explaining to do.” “I should probably take off, you need help tomorrow?” “No, but you’re going to let me clean that up before you go anywhere,” she touched his cheek. They walked back both laughing, Tessa looked at their mother’s, Maggie looked pissed, his Mom kind of proud. Ben and Tessa laughed as they walked in the house. Jade was scolding Lucas as she cleaned him up and Tessa grabbed the first aid kit and cleaned Ben’s cut. “Who looks worse Tess?” Ben chuckled. “Don’t push it Ben, you’re in my house,” Lucas yelled and Jade smacked him in the head. “Damn it, Jade,” Lucas said and Tessa laughed. “Could you do that again?” Tessa smiled at Jade. “Why don’t you come over here and do it yourself Tessa? I’m sure I deserve more than that bitch Ben dished out,” Lucas sneered. “Lucas I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to stop,” she and Ben laughed. “So who got it worse?” Ben asked grinning. Tessa walked over and looked at Lucas, “You okay?” “Why do you care!” he yelled. She smiled, “How’s your hand?” “None of your business,” he said pouting and looking away. She grabbed it, and it was swollen, “Did you ever follow up like they told you to?” He looked at her and scowled, “Lucas, it’s really swollen.” “It’ll be fine,” he said. “Tess, if you need help moving out tomorrow I’ll be back, text me. Lucas you look like shit, did you break your hand on my chest,” Ben lifted his shirt and smiled he kissed her head and grinned, “Bye girl.” Tessa laughed and shook her head. “What do you think, Tessa? Is he back in the running since this asshole doesn’t know how to behave?” Jade biffed him in the head again. “He’s engaged and happy. Lucas and I met her she was nice right?” She asked Lucas. “Yeah wonderful,” he said rolling his eyes... She asked Jade to go get her Mom. “I don’t think...” Lucas began. “No, kidding you don’t think,” Tessa laughed in an attempt to not scream and cry like she really wanted to. Maggie thought it was infected, or re broke he needed x- rays and blood work.
“I’ll take him tomorrow,” she said. “Mom, I’m sorry about all that.” Maggie hugged her, “Tessa I’m sorry about all this,” she looked at Lucas and shook her head, “She would have done anything for you Lucas. I’m sorry you’re going to miss out on that.” Maggie kissed Lucas on his head, her eyes were sad, and tears welled in them she started to leave. “Mom can he take a pain med, even though he has drunk like a fish today?” “Give him a couple hours without alcohol,” Maggie walked out. She looked at him and his bottom lip was hanging lower than usual, and his jaw was twitching, his eyes full of tears. “You should leave.” She finished bandaging his hand and cleaning his face. “I am, tomorrow,” she walked away. “Don’t Tessa, please don’t,” his voice quivered. Jose, Miguel, and Jessie walked in the house. “His hand hurts,” Tessa tried to explain away Lucas’s lack of composure. “My fucking heart is broken,” he yelled and walked up the stairs. Jessie started towards the stairs. “He doesn’t need you right now,” Jose said. “Who the fuck are you?” “His friend,” Jose hugged Tessa. Miguel and Jessie left. “What did I miss, Tessa?” “Lucas needs you.” “You need someone too girl,” Jose held her tighter. “She's got me,” Kendall smiled. “Your sister is going to marry me some day,” Jose grinned, and they both laughed. “You better wait,” Tessa said. He looked at Kendall, “For her, I’d wait forever.” Kendall blushed, and he walked upstairs. “What is that all about?” Tessa asked. “I don’t know, ask me in four years,” Kendall hugged Tessa. The girls cleaned up, and everyone left. Tessa walked in the house, and Lucas was standing with Jose. “You need a ride home?” Jose asked Kendall “Sure,” she hugged Tessa and Lucas, “Goodnight.” Tessa looked at Lucas, and he took a deep breath and he looked up at the ceiling. “This is it?” he said, and tears fell. “This is where I finally pay for all my sins huh, Tessa?” “Lucas don’t cry, please don’t cry.” “How do you do it? How do you look at me and feel like you owe me kindness at all? I’ve been horrible to you. I have broken every promise; I’ve said things to you that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. You need to be a bitch Tessa, or I won’t get through this. God!” he said and sat down, “Fucking hate me.” “I don’t know how Lucas, but if that’s what you need me to be…. Alright, I can try,” he laughed. “You can try?” he laughed harder. “Well, that’s not very nice,” she said, and he laughed and stood up and grabbed her face. “Answer me?” he yelled and she stepped back, “Sorry.” “Did you fuck Jenny?” “If I did, will you go bang half of the football team so I can hate you?” She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Of course, you can’t because you’re perfect,” he snapped.
“You have said that a lot tonight, too bad it was never good enough!” He raised his hand to punch the wall, and she grabbed it, “Really — both of them?” He grabbed her and hugged her “Damn it Tessa, please give me something.” She stepped away and sat on the couch. “I gave you everything Lucas.” “Tell me how the fuck to get through this Tessa!” “Do you love your parents, Lucas?” “Of course I do?” “Well to answer your question about how I do it, no matter what they have done to you, you still love them, right? Well, if you truly love someone, shouldn’t it be the same? I mean how do you stop? But things change. You and I are horrible together. I mean I know I’ve hurt you, and you know you’ve hurt me, and even after five years… it hasn’t changed. It never will. I want you to find someone who loves you anyways,” she started crying. “I want you to feel complete and not need more; I didn’t do that for you.” “Yes you did, Tessa,” he knelt before her. “No Lucas, or you wouldn’t have had to screw around when you and I had sex almost every day and the days we missed, we more than made up for. You didn’t need that. You know, honestly you know what you need: what makes you happy and what doesn’t. And if you don’t — you need to figure it out so that someday you can be happy and not ever feel like this again.” She hugged him, “I will always love you anyways. I just need to love me more and this is killing me, and I can’t do it anymore.” “I love you Tessa, and I’m going to figure out whatever it is you need me to figure out, in order to someday have you forever,” he said wishfully. “Lucas it’s not about what you want for me, or what I want for you, it’s about what we need individually,” she said. “Maybe if we figure that out… we can both have happy lives someday.” “Are you going to be with Ben?” “No, Ben is happy and getting married,” she rubbed his head. “You don’t have to move out tomorrow Tessa,” Lucas looked up at her. “Yes I do,” she kissed him. “I can’t be around you.” “I love you,” he kissed her back. “Lucas, we can’t” she kissed him again. He lifted her up and carried her up to their bed and took his shirt off, “You’re so beautiful Lucas,” she covered her face hiding from herself, from him. He kissed her stomach, and she sat up. “We can’t… Lucas we can’t! Damn it!” Tessa stood up and walked into the spare room that she would spend this one last night in. She lay down and sobbed; he came in and sat on the end of the bed. “Will you at least let me hold you one last time?” he asked, “Please, Tessa.” She looked at him and shook her head yes. They fell asleep tangled in each other’s arms. She woke crying as he tried to calm her. “Lucas,” she hugged him. *** “Good morning, perfect,” he smiled. She sat up and stretched she was on top of him. “Sorry,” she stood up. He looked sad, “No other way I’d rather wake up.” Lucas walked into his room, “I can drive myself to the doctor’s.” “No, obviously you can’t,” she leaning out of the bathroom brushing her teeth. “You have a busy day planned don’t you?” he asked as she spit in the sink.
“I can do some today and some tomorrow.” “Does that mean you’ll stay another night?” he said pulling her hair back as she rinsed. “Will you promise to take care of that?” “Yes, if you stay tonight,” he said looking at her bent over. “Lucas,” she turned around and glared at him. “If you love me, why is it wrong?” he asked seriously. “My who- who doesn’t love you, it desires you… a lot,” she laughed as she walked past him. “Wow Tessa,” he clenched is jaw as he followed her. “Hey… I was wondering if I could take you to dinner tonight.” “Really?” she laughed, “I think I’ve heard that line before.” “It worked,” he said softly. “Well…no.” “Can I take your who- who out to dinner?” He winked. “No, but there are others you can probably line up…” she stopped and looked at him, “Can we not do this? Please can we just not?” “Okay,” he said quietly. *** They went to the doctors and they did an x- ray his bones were not healing correctly, and they wanted to reset it. Tessa knew it was going to hurt like crazy. She smiled softly at him. “It’s going to hurt isn’t it?” “Like hell,” she said quietly. “I deserved it,” he said, and the doctor walked back in. “Can he get something for the pain?” “Of course,” he answered. “Are you staying in here?” “Yes,” she said, “If he wants me to.” Lucas shook his head yes, “It’s fine.” He almost came off the table when they set his bones. “Holy Shit,” he yelled. “You okay?” she kissed his head. “No, that shit hurt,” he closed his eyes tightly. “You’re going to need to get a cast on that,” the doctor said. Tessa looked confused Lucas asked “Why?” “Apparently, he can’t let it heal,” he answered. “No, I can handle it,” Lucas said. “No, he can’t, the doctor is right Lucas you need a cast.” The doctor walked out, and Tessa laughed. “What?” he said. “Just wondering if that’s the hand you’d normally be using to take care of yourself,” she said laughing. He shook his head and looked away. “Oh, you won’t, I forgot you could call all those dirty bitches.” “Tessa, let’s not do this here.” They left, and she quietly drove, “Do you need to stop anywhere?” “Probably not, I’m a little tired,” he said softly. They pulled in, and Chewy ran up to the Jeep. He looked out the window, “You’re taking him right?” “Maybe he could stay with you for awhile.”
“No, I don’t want it to be like re- breaking a bone Tessa, one shot that’s it,” he got out and slammed the door. She walked quietly behind him; she knew she was in for either the silent treatment or a breakdown. She walked upstairs and sat on the bed trying to figure out what needed to be done first. She decided to wait until he fell asleep to take anything down. She desperately wanted to go sit with him and watch stupid sports replays and lay on his lap. He knocked lightly on the door, “Do you need help?” “No, thank you,” she said in barely a whisper. “Then what are you doing?” he asked and sat next to her. “Waiting for you to fall asleep,” she answered quietly. “Why, do you think that will make this any easier Tessa?” “Of course not,” she said. “Why did you do this to us, Lucas?” “I have no words Tessa, no reason, I just fucked up. I haven’t slept with anyone, but you in over four years and the four before that I had twelve. It doesn’t make it any better, but I’ve changed, because of you,” he let out a frustrated breath. “But… never mind, why don’t you go to sleep? You look tired.” “No, what do you want to say?” “Nothing because it seems incredibly selfish,” she said. “Just say it.” “Well, I can’t see you go through this every four years or whatever. I don’t hate you Lucas, so why, no how could you want me to hurt. I mean if you felt half of the hurt I do and care half as much, you wouldn’t want me to ever feel this way, ever.” He thought for a few moments, “Okay.” “What does that mean, please tell me,” she asked. “It means okay Tessa, I love you, and I did this, so okay,” he looked at her, “I think I get it.” She looked down and took a deep breath, “So what do we do when we see each other?” His phone rang, and he got up and walked into the other room. “Hello… This is… Wow, that’s great… Could you give me a week to decide... alright… thank you very much.” He hung up and smiled and shook his head. “Is everything alright?” “Not everything,” he said and looked at her, “They want me in San Francisco.” She hugged him, “That’s great Lucas that’s exactly what you wanted.” He kissed her and held her close to him. She started to pull away, and he whispered, “Don’t please, let me just kiss you, just for a moment.” She did as he asked and it was sweet and soft, she held onto his face and they kissed for longer than ever before, she hugged him. “I’m happy for you Lucas,” Tessa looked at him, “Smile.” He did, but it was a sad smile. He pulled her back to him and kissed her head. She rested her head against him and took a deep breath, she looked up and he smirked. “Smell good?” “Always,” she laughed awkwardly. “Alright, I have a lot to think about,” he let go of her. She stepped back and turned around and hugged herself, “Like what?” “Like if I want to do this anymore,” he sat down. “What do you mean?” she asked and looked at him confused. “This game, football,” he ran his hands through his hair. “Lucas… this is what you love, this has been your life since I can remember,” she looked at him.
“Yep and I fucked up everything in the process,” he looked at her. “Everything that mattered anyway.” He stood up and walked outside. He stood with his hand shoved in his pocket and Chewy walked up to him, wagging his tail. He squatted down and pet him as Chewy licked his face. He stood up and looked at the sunset. Why could I not have just been there- — just done this for him? She stayed in the bedroom and heard him call Jose. She went in and showered and got sweats and an SU sweatshirt on. She wished things had been different, but they wouldn’t be. Ever. She carried all of her bedroom stuff down and put it in the Jeep. She walked in, and he looked at her and closed his eyes. It was painful to watch. “Could you go to sleep? You need to rest.” “Tessa I am watching my world fall apart knowing that I did it all. I won’t sleep for a long time. I’m not going to stop you if you need help, you should call someone; I won’t run my mouth or talk about dead babies or fucking someone else. I will sit quietly and take exactly what I deserve.” She looked at him and carried out her mixer and her recipe books. She saw lights coming up the driveway. She walked back in. “I think you have company,” he looked annoyed. Jose walked in, “I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by, Hey Tessa, I took your sister out to dinner.” “Behave with her or I will go all farm girl on you,” she as she walked out to the Jeep. “What’s up Links? You were talking stupid smack on the phone.” “No, Jose it’s not stupid, I can’t do it anymore, I can’t,” he stood up. “So all this has been for nothing man? No love of the game or the girl? You're messing up big time, Links.” “Thanks for that Jose I was not aware,” Lucas rolled his eyes. “You need to think, what are you going to do: sit here and do what? Make her and yourself miserable? That’s not fair to either one of you Links, come on man. You both deserve better, you made a very hurtful mistake, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world, even though it feels like shit right now!” “All the right words man but tell me how. I just need to know FUCKING how!” “Give it space and time,” he said, “and forgive yourself, she already has, look at her taking care of you.” “I know all about what I’ve lost. I was so fucking happy with this and her, but it just wasn’t enough.” He grabbed a hat and pulled it over his eyes. “Then what IS enough, Lucas? What will it take to truly make you happy? You have no idea because as fucked up as life was… you never spent time just worrying about what Lucas needed. Now’s that time Lucas, use it wisely. Very rarely do we get second chances,” Jose looked at him, “Make a choice now, I need to know.” Tessa walked in she had heard everything but didn’t want them to know she had. “Lose the hat, Links,” she ran upstairs. “What was that all about?” Jose asked. “Tessa has a thing for white hats.” She came down with another box. “You got a thing for white hats Tessa? That’s not funny to a southern black man.” “Jose, you would look smoking hot in a white hat too,” she kissed his cheek and walked out. “Look at her trying to keep it together for you Links,” Jose shook his head. “I see it Jose, and it fucking kills me,” he grumbled. “Then what do you do?” “Jose just tell me what to do, I can’t even think,” Lucas snapped. “You go to San Fran, you’ll love your teammates,” he smiled.
“How do you know? Maybe they’ll all be a bunch of uptight assholes,” Lucas rolled his eyes. “Make a decision Lucas: stay here and rot or go play and see what happens. If you hate it, you come back home, but you need distance,” Jose said “She does too.” “Fine I will go.” Jose smiled, “Your lucky day man, I’m going too.” “No, shit?” “None,” Jose said. “Hey Baby — Jose signed with San Fran,” she walked in he got up and picked her up and swung her around and kissed her, “Shit sorry.” “Congratulations Jose,” she hugged him and ran upstairs. *** “Tessa, may I come in?” “Yep,” she said and wiped her face on her pillow. “What did you hear?” “Everything,” she turned and smiled at him, “I’m happy for you.” “Tessa, I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but you and Jose, I don’t know. I love you I know that. Is it the right thing to do Tessa?” “I think so,” she said looking down. “I selfishly have to ask you something Tessa.” “Please don’t Lucas. Please don’t” she cried. “Why? You can say no, whatever you want,” he rubbed her back. “Please don’t I am begging you, please don’t ask me,” she cried into her knees and her body shook. “Okay, I won’t. Tessa, please don’t cry,” he pulled her into him. She cried for a long time and stood up, “I’m going to miss you Lucas.” “Tessa come here, please.” “This should have been done two weeks ago. Our break ups are freaking epic,” she wiped her face and laughed. He smiled, “Everything we’ve ever done has been.” “So I should leave.” “No, not tonight Tessa you promised.” She rolled her eyes, “You don’t break promises, I do. Not tonight, please.” He stood up and took her hand and led her to their bedroom, “Lucas I don’t want to go in there.” “That bed is awful.” She stopped and looked at him, “I can’t.” “Please Tessa just one more night and then I promise to leave you alone I promise,” he said. He looked lost, and she was broken already. He turned on his iPod and hit a couple buttons and placed it on the base. “My playlist” he smiled and looked down. The song, Hurt by Nine Inch Nails played, and her heart burst apart, she changed the song every time it came on. She didn’t want him to ever leave her alone even after everything he had done to break her she still loved him with everything she was. He was wonderful and awful at the same time, no one had ever made her feel so special and loved, no one has ever made her feel so needed or desired. Still after she knew every rotten thing he had done, the good still shined through all of it and she loved him anyways. “Tessa where is your head?” “I don’t know anymore.” “Will you stay tonight, please?”
She shook her head yes and held his tightly as she cried into his neck... “I know I don’t deserve it but thank you.” “Please don’t do that, Lucas,” she sobbed. “I’m not perfect. I’m actually pretty pathetic. I need you now more than you need me. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you and I need you tonight Lucas. This isn’t out of pity, or any false hope of us ever working out because we won’t. I need the boy I fell in love with. The one who touched my heart and almost every part of me,” she said and smiled and wiped away tears. “Before I ever even knew what it could possibly feel like, before I ever knew how much I needed him. And right now Lucas, I need you to know that I’m grateful I met you and loved you, and was loved by you. I will never hate you –ever. No matter what. You need to promise me that you’re going to be okay forever, hurt or angry or in need of fucking everyone you come in contact with I need to know you’re going to be safe, and try to be happy and opened to the love you made me feel. Lucas — I love you anyway.” She grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head and took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. The way he looked at her was unfamiliar. He stood there and let her undress him and looked nervous and scared. She knelt down and started kissing his stomach and hips. He pulled her up, “No, Tessa.” He lifted her shirt up and undid her bra and kissed her breasts. He pulled her bottoms down and she stepped out of them. He stepped back and looked at her and took a deep breath. “You’re absolutely perfect, Tessa.” He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him he slowly moved into her and she breathed out. Slowly, deeply he pushed into her and with each thrust she closed her eyes tighter. “Don’t close your eyes Tessa, please look at me,” he kissed her neck. “Is this okay?” he asked softly and she shook her head yes and kissed him he continued slow deep thrusts, and she arched her back “Tessa, I love you so fucking much. I am so sorry Baby. I never wanted to hurt you. How could I hurt you? Of all people,” he whispered against her skin. He walked to the bed never pulling out of her and sat on its edge. He moved into her, and her hips met his. His hands lightly caressed her body, as she slowly kissed him. He rolled her to her back and held himself up with is one good hand and moved in and out of her until her body quaked. He watched her face and saw how much pleasure and pain in her eyes that never closed. She watched him the whole time. He pulled her up and spun her around, so she sat on him with her back against his chest. He couldn’t look at her and see in her eyes what he had done to her. He kissed her neck and rubbed her beautiful locks of hair with his face. She took his hand and placed it on her chest, and he rubbed them softly until finally he started to tense he turned her to face him and he moved a little faster as she held his face in her hands until he finished. She kissed him, and he buried his head in her neck. “I’ll remember this moment. Always.” He picked her up and walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She watched him light candles they had never lit before and he washed her body and kissed her the entire time. They lay in bed naked wrapped around each other and fell asleep. Nose to nose. Lips to lips. Shattered heart to shattered heart. *** When Lucas woke, she was gone. Lucas Links,
I hope you don’t mind I’m going to have to send someone up to get the cabinet. Thank You for everything, LYA, Tessa
This was it. He had lost her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT Tessa was lost and empty. She had only been able to force herself to sleep for a few hours. She tossed at turned most of the night before conceding to her pain. She walked down to the falls and sat seeking the calm she had always felt as she watched the water spill down the rocks. She thought about the past five years, and her memories flew by. The first time she saw him looking at her and how annoyed she was by him. The first time she kissed him and their first real kiss. The many girls she had to defend herself against. The first time he truly broke her heart and the realization that she loved him. Lucas moving in and her desire to take care of him. Meeting his mother, and then his father. She was going to miss his sisters and Audrianna. Sadie’s fake pregnancy and then her real one. Toby and his death, the day she took him to the hospital when his and Sadie’s baby was born and died. Tommy… sweet, sweet Tommy. The weddings that he had been involved in and the births. Jenny and SU. His proposal and his second one. The loss of their own child and the hurt she knew he felt too. The first time they made love and the thousands of others. The pain when she saw him in San Francisco and the beautiful, perfect last night they shared together. She knew he loved her, and the realization that he would probably always hurt her. She realized that she had relied on him to fill her. The emptiness and the burning in her heart that he could fix like he had many times is what she needed now. Right now, she just wanted his arms around her forever. She got up and walked in the house and showered she got dressed and drove back to their house and walked in. She yelled his name, and he ran down the stairs. “Tessa- — what is it?” “Ask me now” she cried and wrapped her arms around him, “Lucas I love you. Ask me now.” “Tessa,” he whispered. “I love you, and I don’t want to do this alone, I need forever and always anyways, just ask me now please Lucas,” she kissed him. “I don’t want anything but you. I will go with you and stay with you forever Lucas, I can be who you need me to be.” Tessa hugged him and jumped in his arms. “Take me back to our bed, Lucas.” Tessa jumped down and started to walk up the stairs. “Tessa don’t go up there,” he grabbed her hand holding her back. He closed his eyes tightly and growled. “Okay then right here,” she started to take her shirt off. “God Damn It Tessa, you…. fuck! I am not even close to being what you deserve…” “This shower is getting cold Links,” she heard from upstairs. Tessa looked up, and it was the girl from San Francisco. She looked at him in shock, and before she could move she felt her knees wobble. “WHY!” He scooped her up in his arms, shaking and trying to take deep breaths. Trying to stop himself from losing it completely, “Sorry Tessa, I knew I couldn’t do it alone.” He walked her outside and put her in his vehicle and buckled her in. His hands shook and his heart raced, “I am going to take you home, she is going to leave, and I will come get you Tessa and then forever okay?” “No,” she yelled, “Not even a day? God what was I thinking?!?! After last night Lucas? No, no, no, no!”
“I was thinking you meant what you said Tessa,” he squeezed his eyes shut, “I wouldn’t… FUCK!” “What an idiot I am, you must think I’m just… I don’t care take me home and forget about all that, I am so done. Turn around and take me to my Jeep,” She couldn’t even think her head was spinning. She grabbed her head hoping to stop it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea Tessa,” she opened the door, and he pulled her back, “Don’t do shit like that.” “Then take me back there — now!” she yelled and frantically wiped the tears from her face. “Why?” “Because I will never step foot in that house again. I don’t want to see you ever again. What the fuck is wrong with me?!!” Tessa pulled at her hair and screamed He turned around, and tears fell down his face, “Do you know what it’s like fucking up over and over, Tessa?” “I sure do,” she screamed. “Take me back now!” They pulled in, and she jumped out and ran in the garage. She grabbed her field hockey stick off the shelf and started beating the car parked in her garage. He ran in and grabbed her. “Don’t do that Tessa,” he said, “Come on… that’s not you.” “Let go of me and go fuck your whore!” “I’ll tell her to leave,” he held her tighter as she tried to pull away. “Put me down!” she yelled. “Lucas do you want me to call the police?” the girl said walking into the garage. “No bitch — call a fucking ambulance you’re going to need one,” Tessa yelled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. “No, this is Tessa and she has every right to be upset right now.” She looked confused, “So you’re going to let a crazy girl beat on my rental?” “She and I just split up after five years of her being perfect. She has every right to be upset.” “Okay… whatever,” she said and walked in. “Get out of my house, whore!” she screamed and tried to lunge towards the door. “Tessa” he whispered, “Stop.” She pulled free of his grasp and ran out of the garage and he followed. “You’re not driving,” he grabbed her arm. She pulled it away from him “You’re not telling me what to do!” She shut the door and locked it. Lucas tried to open the door, and then stood behind the Jeep, “MOVE!” “Tessa, you’re not driving!” “Take a mental picture Lucas, cause you will never see me again, look who I have become: one of your crazy exes!” Tessa put the Jeep in drive and peeled out across the yard and through the field and around until she got on the driveway. He followed her down the road and pulled into the farm behind her. She ran in the house, and he followed. “Get the fuck out!” she screamed. “John, Tessa is having a really hard time right now, because of me. She needs you all now more than ever.” Tears streamed down his face. “I’m truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused her, and as much as I would do anything to fix it I know I’ll continue screwing up. It’s who I am, please take care of her. Tessa I am truly sorry for causing you any pain, I should have never treated you like that. I hope you can forgive me,” she slapped his face. “Fuck you! I don’t need your dirty used up whore speech, I’m not like them,” she yelled. “No Tessa you never were,” he said trying to stop the flood of tears “I’m so sorry.” “I HATE YOU!” she lunged at him and John held her back. Lucas walked out the door, and Maggie grabbed Tessa. John followed him out.
“Lucas…. son… we need to talk.” “John I love her, and I respect you all enough to walk away.” Lucas started to shake. “Lucas I have watched you change in five years, you’re a good man, who happens to have a long road ahead of him. I am going to ask two things from you. The first is to not go back to who you think you were. You were a kid who was pretty much alone. You fought for everything you have become, don’t throw that away. In five years, I want to see you alive and healthy and happy. You’ve taken good care of my daughter up until lately. You were there when I wasn’t able to be emotionally for her and for that I thank you. The next Lucas is to let her go. She’s hurting, this person in my house right now is not the Tessa I raised. She is pieces of her, we need to put her back together, and I thank God that we as a family are in a much better position to do that now.” “I get it, but how, I love her with everything I am, the good, and the bad. How do I do it?” he pleaded, “Just tell me and I will please, damn it, just tell me!” “Lucas I know you think she is the end all be all. But you wouldn’t even have the desire to look at another if she were. When I met Maggie,” he smiled, “I wasn’t perfect in any relationship before that, but when I met her the whole world could have stopped turning, and I would have not for one second noticed. She was all I needed from that day on. I wasn’t perfect, and after five kids, we lost our connection. She left and was going on dates, and I can honestly tell you I never once thought of doing the same. Lucas when you meet that person you’ll know immediately. You’ll never need another.” “I felt that way when I met Tessa,” he said softly. “It could have been that way with her.” “Lucas you need time to reflect and evaluate your past and really see what you want for your future. I heard from Jose that you were going to San Francisco. I think that’s a good place to start.” “You’ve been like a father to me I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am,” he said looking down. “Anytime you need something you call me, your part of this family now and I wish I could get you through it, but my Tessa needs me,” he said. They hugged, and Lucas left. John walked in the house and sat on the kitchen floor and pulled her into his arms and kissed Maggie, “Daddy is he going to be okay?” she asked quietly. “Yes honey, you both are.” *** Lucas got home, and Tipper was still there. “What the hell was that?” she asked. “The past five years of my life,” he said. “Do you love her?” she asked. “Yes the absolute best I know how,” he said, “I’m fucked up, this is what I do, I don’t want to love anyone again.” “So why am I here?” “To fill the void,” he laughed. “Do you want me to stay?” “No, but a blow job would be nice,” he said and grabbed a beer and a pill. “But that’s all it’ll be.” “I'm game,” she smiled. “I don’t give back.” “I don’t care,” she went down, and he felt nothing at all, just numb. “What the hell?” “That ever happen before Links?” “No,” he said looking embarrassed. “I think she broke you,” she smiled. “I’m going to go, when you want to see me call, but make sure
that’s working.” *** Lucas was in shock, “Jose if you get a chance or have a few minutes stop over.” Jose stayed with Lucas. And Tessa with the exhausting help from her mother passed her boards. She’d been working as a student nurse at a hospital in Ithaca. She was now licensed and worked every chance she got. Lucas had the piano delivered to her a week after they split, and she had mailed her jewelry to Audrianna for safe keeping. They both knew how the other was doing, and they did not try to contact each other. Jose would return Chewy every time he ran back to Lucas’s which was every day sometimes more. *** “Hello,” Lucas said with a sad smile in his voice. “Hi,” Tessa said. “Is everything alright?” “Well, yes and no. I think we need to talk about the dog.” “Okay,” he said. “Do you want me to come down?” “No, we can do this on the phone.” “Okay, what’s up?” “He wants to be with you.” “He’s yours.” “Lucas… he’s going to get lost or hit or taken.” “He isn’t going to get lost,” he laughed. “Okay, but what if he gets hit, he wants to be with you.” “Tessa I am leaving in a few weeks, but HE needs to stay put.” “Lucas, please, he hates me,” she said sadly. “No, he doesn’t you saved him.” “No Lucas you saved him, I just loved him.” “Are we still talking about the dog, Tessa?” he asked in a serious tone. “Yes,” she said defensively. She was, but it fit with them too. He laughed, “Ok.” “So will you take him until you leave?” “Will you come with him until I leave?” he asked playfully. “Lucas stop it, besides you’ve got someone to meet your — needs.” “No, that whole thing didn’t work out” he laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said sarcastically. “You should be, you broke it, as a matter a fact I think you should come up and see if it’s really broken or just misses you.” “What are you talking about?” “Well, hello Chewy,” he said, “Your dogs here.” “It’s not funny, are you sick?” He told her the story, and she tried not to laugh, but he could hear it in your voice. “Lucas, you might want to get that checked out.” “Can you come get him Tessa?” he asked. “Jose isn’t here, and I promised your Dad.” “Sure.” Tessa brushed her teeth and put on a tank top and tight shorts, she was finally down to the weight she
was when they met… actually, about eight pounds less. *** She pulled in and walked to the door and knocked, Chewy barked and he opened the door. “Come on Benedict,” she grabbed his collar. He growled at her and ran upstairs. “See he hates me,” she finally looked at him. He was smiling at her. He hugged her, and she didn’t return his hug. “Sorry, you look amazing, but you should probably be eating more,” he walked around her looking her up and down with concern in his eyes. “Are you alright?” “Yeah, never better, Chewy get your sorry ass down here” she yelled, and he barked. “See he wants to be with you,” she said and stomped her foot and he smiled. “How’s your hand?” “Better, Tessa you can come in,” he walked inside. “No thank you,” she scowled. “Nothing happened in our house, Tessa,” he said, “Come in, please.” She stepped in and looked around, a pool table was now sitting where the piano was. She looked away. “About that… you should really get it checked out.” “You want to check it out? I mean you’re a professional now, and besides you broke it. You were the last person to play with it, so the way I see it, it’s your responsibility,” his lip curled up slyly. “You want to play one game of pool? If I win, you get it checked out, if you win I will in my best professional judgment access the situation,” she avoiding looking into his eyes. He smiled and racked the balls. “Ladies first. But only because Jose isn’t here… he’s such a girl,” Lucas laughed. She broke and sunk one of each color. She chose solids. She missed “Perfect. I’ve gotten really good at this game,” he said and smiled at her. “Even with one hand.” He hit three in, and she smiled at him. “I guess you have, I’ve gotten real good at being alone,” she smiled and winked, “It’s not all that bad.” He shot another in and lined up his next shot. “I’m so thankful that I have both hands you know especially since I have been all alone,” he looked up at her, and she smiled, “Two perfectly good hands,” she said and he missed his shot. “You’re not nice.” he handed her the cue his eyes gazing over her body. “Sure I am.” Tessa bent down stretching over the table she pulled her hair to the side and hit the ball in. And turned and winked. “Which one should I put in now?” she laughed and looked at him. “Hey… if I make three, you have to take off your shirt.” “Fair is fair Tessa, if, no when, I make three yours comes off too.” “Deal,” she said and sunk three, “Lose the shirt Links.” “I don't think I can with only one hand,” he looked at her. She walked over and pulled it off, “Better?” “Yeah,” he leaned in towards her and she moved away. She missed the next shot. “Distracted Tessa?” “Nope, just giving you a chance,” she smiled and bit her lip. “Not going to work,” he shook his head and smiled. He sunk two, “You’re not wearing a bra.”
She bent over and whispered in his ear “Or panties.” He missed and laughed and looked at her. “The next one, you lose your pants,” she smiled. She missed, and he laughed. He sunk two, “The next one Tessa, and I get to see my girls.” “You want a sneak peak?” she said and slowly lifted her shirt. “Tessa,” he moaned and missed. She hit them all in, except the eight. “The black one you lose the briefs boy,” she said and handed him the cue. He blocked her out and finished the game, “Time to pay up Tessa.” He walked towards her, she grabbed his face and kissed him. “You taste so good,” she kissed him again. He lifted her shirt off, and she held her breath. “No touching Lucas,” she kissed him. “Tessa you have got to see if you broke me?” he groaned into her mouth and wrapped her hair around his hand. She pushed him down and sat on his lap and kissed him harder. “I love you, God I have missed you,” he hissed and then he felt wet on his face and pulled back, “Baby don’t cry.” She wiggled her bottom against him and smiled, “All better Lucas.” She stood up and grabbed her shirt and put it on. Lucas sprung to his feet. “Don’t leave,” he said. “Please? I’ll cook dinner.” “Let me look at that hand. No more cast, you should be able to use it now,” she kissed his cheek. “Chewy — come!” He walked down the stairs and walked to Lucas and sat at his feet. “He wants to stay Lucas. I’m afraid he’ll get hit.” “Take him with you Tessa,” he snapped, “When you stay, he can.” She looked at him and smiled sadly, “I still love you, Lucas. Tessa dragged Chewy out the door. Lucas stood scowling and watched her pull out of the driveway. *** She came home and went to sleep. She wouldn’t go there again but was proud that she hadn’t given in. Her phone chimed: - You — Tessa are not a very nice girl… LL - Well, I’m a good nurse I fixed you, and I’m a good girl... Tessa - No LT?... LL - Always in my heart trying to get you out of my head, baby steps... Tessa - Okay, thank you…. anyways... LL - I can’t be like them…Tessa - You never were… LL ***
Tessa woke up crying and felt for Chewy, he wasn’t there. She ran downstairs a called for him. Jake sat up on the couch, “I just let him out.” “Jake he can’t go out alone he runs to Lucas’s,” Tessa ran outside, and Kendall followed. “Kendall call Jose,” she yelled and ran up the road calling for him. She was in one of his tee shirts and a pair of shorts running as fast as she could calling for Chewy. She saw headlights on the side of the road, and she ran faster. Another car pulled over as she got closer she ran even harder. She heard Lucas scream “Fuck!” He looked up and saw her coming, he ran for her and grabbed her. “Let me go,” she said as he held her tightly. “Tessa no.” “Is it him?” “Yes,” he hugged her. “Let me go Lucas,” she pulled away frantically. “I’ll go with you,” he said holding her as she tried to run. Chewy was panting slow, shallow breaths. “Hey Chewy, you shouldn’t have run off,” she dropped to her knees and pet him. She saw blood coming from his mouth. Tessa looked at Lucas, “Call Alex and ask him what to do.” The couple in the car stood silently. “It’s not your fault,” Tessa held his head on her lap, “He’s a stubborn boy.” They left and Tessa and Lucas lifted him on a blanket and loaded him in the back of the SUV. Alex was waiting outside when they pulled into the driveway of the farmhouse. Alex opened the hatch as soon as Lucas stopped. Tessa was holding Chewy. He was taking his last breaths, and Alex looked at Tessa. “Can you help him?” Tessa wiped her face. “Tessa, no one could right now,” Alex pet him behind the ear. Lucas walked back over, “I’m so sorry.” Chewy whimpered and tried to lift his head. “Get in here he wants you,” she said sternly. “I don’t know what to do.” “Pet him — talk to him,” she said and scooted over, “Right here.” She took his hand and put it on Chewy. “Sorry Chewy, I should have listened to your Momma,” Lucas kissed his head. “And your Momma should not have let you out of her sight.” They sat next to each other and pet him, and within minutes he was gone. They hugged, and Tessa cried. Alex helped Lucas carry him into the barn until they could bury him the next day. Tessa sat and pet him. “Can I stay?” Lucas asked. “Yeah,” Tessa wiped her face. He grabbed a sweatshirt and put it over her head, she remembered the first time he had done that. It still felt the same and smelled the same. He leaned on a bale of hay, and she fell asleep on his lap with her hand on Chewy. He watched her sleep feeling accountable. In the early morning, Lucas woke to Tessa crying He hugged her, as she wiped her face, “Good morning.” “Good morning, are you okay?” “No, this kind of sucks and I feel like it’s my fault,” she took a deep breath. “How is this your fault?”
“If I never went there, I would’ve never known,” she looked at him. “Tessa it wasn’t your fault,” Lucas looked at Tessa. “Why do you do that? I did this. I fucked up everything.” “I knew better from the start I needed you, I knew who you were, and I loved you, but more so, I needed you at that moment in my life. I’m just as guilty if not more so I needed you, no matter what happened I feel like I made sure you needed me to. I’m as fucked up and nasty as you ever thought of being.” Tessa laughed softly. “Lucas Links you’re off the hook now, that was a total moment of selfrealization.” “No, not actually.” She laughed “Yes Lucas, don’t you see? When did you tell me you fell in love with me? Wasn’t it when you saw me with my family?” “No, Tessa I don’t think it was that it was….” he started. “It was exactly that, and that was what you were missing, not a piece of ass. We are going to be fine” she hugged him. “You are going to kick ass in San Francisco, and I’m going to become a practitioner, did I tell you I started classes online through SU?” “You’re going a hundred miles an hour and I’m having a hard time keeping up.” “Shall I slow it down for you?” she laughed. “We were supposed to be in each other’s lives Lucas. We both desperately needed each other at the exact moment we met. But we should have stopped when it hurt, we could have been friends… we like each other. If I had let go you would have never been tricked by Sadi, you would have never had been in Syracuse and Tommy. You should hate me Lucas. “ “I can’t believe what is coming out of your mouth right now.” Lucas’s eyes showed confusion and hurt. “If none of that happened I would’ve never known real love. My Dad wouldn’t have been with Audrianna, I wouldn’t know my sister’s. My Mom would be a mess still. I wouldn’t have gotten this far in football. Ryan and Jade and all those kids wouldn’t have happened. Tessa… you need to stop. You’re scaring me.” “Lucas you're scared because you know I’m right, come here please and sit down.” He did.” We met for a reason and all the voids were filled. Things don’t happen by chance, there’s a verse on it. Psalms 139:13- 16.” “Tessa that’s your thing… it means nothing to me its just words baby.” “Then I failed you again. Lucas I remember those verses those beautiful words are etched in my heart forever. I’m sorry Lucas” she hugged him. He pulled away and looked at her. “This was already written all of it. We just changed it, we screwed up. Don’t get me wrong it was a lot of fun, and I love you but we served each other’s purpose, and he has given us plenty of reason and warnings to stop this, look at our dog.” She laughed, “What more do we need?” “I’m going to get Alex, so we can bury our dog and maybe a freaking priest for your crazy ass head,” he messed up her hair. She sat back, and pet Chewy and cried. Lucas and Alex walked into the barn. “See she was laughing, and reciting verses a minute ago now she is crying, she needs some help.” He reached out his hand and pulled her up and looked at her like she was crazy. Alex drove up with the tractor, and they lifted Chewy in the bucket. Tessa sat with him and pet him and talked to him the whole time. Alex and Lucas sat in the tractor and Lucas just shook his head as he looked at her. The whole family came down, and Tessa started “Yay though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death.” They all joined in and Tessa looked at Lucas, and he rolled his eyes and she grabbed his hand and smiled. When they finished, they left Lucas and Tessa alone down by the woods. “You look happy again.”
“Oh, that can switch in 2.2 seconds” she smiled. “But I know you are going to be okay, and I know I will be too.” “I wish I knew that, so if God was up there writing a book about my life, what happened did he wake up on the wrong side of the thrown or maybe have a bad beard day? I mean this is what he really wanted for me because if so I don’t want any part of him,” Lucas looked down at the ground and she knew he was searching. “Oh, my beautiful boy” she hugged him, she put her forehead to his, “he gave us free will, we make the choices, and we screw it up. Life isn’t easy until we follow the path he has written” she said, and he kissed her lightly. “Did he know I was going to do that?” “Yep and he knows you’re an athlete, but more important than that your very smart and love to help people. If you continue using the gifts he gave you, you will be perfectly fine and happy.” She quickly kissed him back and let go of him. He grabbed her and pulled her against him, and she felt him against her belly and gasped. “He knows I am good at this too, it’s a gift right?” Tessa closed her eyes and pulled away. “Yes it certainly is,” she started to walk away. “Come on Lucas.” “So you’re going to let one of my God given talents go to waste?” he laughed and then froze when he looked at her, “Why are you crying?” “That was never for me, but if you try to listen to him and follow that path whoever you marry is going to have a very full happy life and I’m human and desperately want you and you’re not mine to have.” He smiled and hugged her, “Get through it whatever way you need to Tessa, it will be you when it’s the right time.” “Lucas I don’t think it is.” “Okay, don’t cry please” he hugged her, “And don’t give up on me, or us, please.” “Sorry.” “So I need to find Jesus,” the corner of his mouth curled up and they both laughed. “You need him to help you find you,” she grabbed his arms and put them around her and kissed his cheek. “You’ve got a good start, it shouldn’t be all that hard.” “There are certain words you should not say to me.” “What word?” she laughed and let go of him. “Hard,” she slugged him in the arm. They walked in the house hand in hand laughing. John looked sternly at him. “It’s not like that John, she’s going to make me find Jesus,” they both laughed. “Well Amen,” Maggie said. “Can I see you again before I leave?” he asked. “Maybe,” she hugged him. Lucas reluctantly let go when he felt John’s eyes boring into him, “Goodbye,” he smiled and walked out the door. “Lucas,” Maggie yelled out the window. “Tessa is working today and tonight, but if you’d like to come to dinner you're more than welcome to.” “Thank you,” he said, “But I think I’m going to see my Mom tonight.” “Okay son, have a good time.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE Lucas went to see his mother who he knew was worried. She saw him and smiled. “Mom I’m fine and Tessa is fine, we’re not fighting or have any need to try to hurt each other, we just need to find who we are before we work towards being whoever her God thinks we should be,” he laughed. “You’re going to church Lucas?” Kate smiled. “No mom I’m going to find Jesus,” he said and laughed out loud. *** Tessa worked for nine days straight she was physically exhausted but needed be emotionally as well. She ran for five miles and was almost home when she heard a car slow behind her, she turned to look, and it was Lucas. “That ass is shrinking, too small girl,” Lucas pulled over and smiled at her. “Hi Lucas,” she said trying to calm her breathing. “You want a ride?” “No, I didn’t come out here to get picked up,” she laughed. “Can you come for dinner?” “Will it be just us?” “If that’s what you want.” She missed him, his smile, his voice, and the way his eyes sparkled, him making her forget the pain immediately with just his touch, and that couldn’t happen, not again. “What I want and what I need are two different things,” she looked away. “Okay, so what about tonight?” “I’m going to help at the fair.” “Of course, you are,” Lucas smiled softly at her. “You can come help.” “Maybe,” he looked annoyed causing Tessa to laugh, “What?” “Your bottom lip is going to hit your lap,” she smiled. “If only that were possible,” he took a deep breath. “And on that note I need to go, you first,” she motioned for him to pull away. “No, you go ahead,” Lucas winked. She scowled at him, “Fine.” Tessa started to run he passed her and pulled over about a hundred feet ahead of her. “Everything okay?” she stopped when she reached his SUV. “Yeah, read this,” he pointed to the mirror. “Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are,” she said, “Yep it’s on all of them.” “And it’s very true,” he said and smiled, “Watching you run Tessa is an experience all in its self.” She smacked him in the head. “Ouch,” he laughed. “Did you find Jesus yet, Lucas?” she ran ahead. “No, but I just saw two perfect reasons to believe,” he yelled out the window. Tessa flipped him off. “That’s not very Christian- like,” Lucas laughed out the window.
“No, but I’m human!” *** Tessa and Kendall were having a great time at the fair. Phoebe, Jade, and Cassidy were there too. They took a break and danced. Tessa smiled and waved to Adam, and he smiled back. He point at her and the stage and she shook her head no, he smiled and shook his head yes. “I need my favorite student on stage,” Adam spoke into the mic. Tessa walked up and hugged him, “it’s been awhile.” He showed her the song, and she shook her head no, the band started playing Don’t Speak by No Doubt. “You and me, we use to be together, everyday together, always. I really feel like I’m losing my best friend. I can’t believe this could be the end,” she started. When she saw Lucas and Jose she kind of flubbed through the next part and Adam stood next to her, nudging her and smiled, she continued, “Our memories, well they can inviting, but some are altogether mighty frightening. As we die, both you and I, with my head in my hands I sit and cry. Don’t speak I know what you’re thinking…” Tessa ended the song fighting impending tears. She looked down, and Adam hugged her. He motioned for his band to play, and he walked off the back of the stage with her. She cried, and he hugged her. “Not easy, huh Tessa?” “No, it sucks,” Tessa forced a laugh. “You’ll get through it, but you need to stop turning away from what you really want in life and its right in front of you Tessa, you just have to grab it,” Adam lifted her face and smiled. “She’s going to be fine and you certainly aren’t what she needs or wants,” Tessa turned, and Lucas was standing there all sorts of messed up. “Is this the asshole that broke your heart Tessa?” Adam glared at Lucas. “Yeah, but I can fix it, you on the other hand need to step off of what was and will be mine again, “ Lucas walked towards them. “Where is Jose?” Tessa stepped in front of Lucas. “Tessa move!” “I don’t think so there, killer,” Tessa laughed nervously, “What’re you going to do fight him one handed?” “Cool one- handed, Lucas. I’ll keep one behind my back… even the field,” Adam teased. “Adam you have a little girl!” “Is that what it is with this tattooed freak, a ready-made family?” Lucas pushed into her. “What are you talking about?” “Is this really why we can’t fix this, this punk ass bitch?” Adam laughed, “Did he hit his head a lot last season Tessa?” “No, Lucas it was because as you told our families, you were balls deep in the bitch in San Francisco the same one you had at our house the day I left. It has nothing to do with Adam or anyone else, but you and I. Haven’t we gone through this already!” “Tessa he’s an asshole, if you want me to take your mind off him for a couple hours I can squeeze you in, she any good Lucas?” Adam goading him on. “That’s it,” Lucas pushed past Tessa, and she fell down “Let’s go freak!” Jose grabbed Lucas and Kendall helped Tessa up. “Tessa he any good with his mouth? I have a tongue ring… you’re going to love that,” Adam laughed. “Adam stop it! Lucas what are you doing! Does it have to be like this? I quit!” she ran out from behind the stage and into Phoebe, “Can you please take me home?” “Sure can,” she grabbed her hand, “Kendall could you tell Alex I will be at the farm?”
“Tessa… don’t leave,” Lucas yelled from behind her. “What did you do now jackass,” Jade biffed him in the back of his head. “Seriously what is wrong with you two?” he rubbed the back of his head and ran to Tessa, “Baby I’m sorry.” “Don’t call me that! It doesn’t make me feel good or special. It reminds me of the girl you were screwing when I walked into your fuck pad in San Francisco! It pisses me off! And when will you stop being sorry? Lucas, I hoped better for us, I wanted to be your friend! Adam is my friend nothing nasty and you just made it feel… dirty,” Tessa kept walking. “Tessa talk to me please,” he begged. “Right now I have nothing nice to say! Have a great night,” she slammed the door, and they left. *** They walked into the farmhouse, and Tessa thanked Phoebe. “You want me to stay?” Phoebe asked, “I’m still here Tessa,” “I want you to tell me all about that niece or nephew of mine,” Tessa smiled. “Will you tell me what Lucas was talking about the day Alex and I stopped over to tell you?” Tessa looked down. “I was pregnant, but it was a tubal. I’m okay but it was hard and we worked through it together.” “When?” Phoebe asked quietly “Well, I lost it on New Year’s day about three and a half years ago. Probably a blessing although I am not sure how. Phoebe I think I need to get away. I’ve been saving money and am thinking about signing with a traveling nurse team. But first I need to take a break. I need to find myself. I’m no good to anyone like this.” “As long as you can be here when I deliver I’ll support you in whatever you do. I love you” she hugged her. “I love you too. And I love him, please don’t let Alex hate him, he needs good people in his life. He’s a good person we just suck together.” “Okay, if that’s what you want. I promise to do my best.” “I’m going to bed; I have to work a twelve- hour shift in eight hours. Thank you, Phoebe.” *** Phoebe walked into the fair and saw Lucas surrounded by a bunch of girls. He was drinking and flirting wildly. She saw him leaving the fairgrounds with one of them and she ran up and pushed him. “She wants nothing more than for you to be okay. Do you think you could not screw one of our hometown whores? Save it for San Francisco!” Phoebe yelled “Who the hell are you talking about bitch?” the blonde pushed Phoebe. “She was talking to you. She’s pregnant keep your dirty ass hands off of her,” Lucas slurred. “You were enjoying my hands on the Flying Bobs and were all about using my mouth until this pregnant skank came up,” she grabbed at him Lucas stumbled back, “Your mouth would have been full of baby gravy, and I wouldn’t have to listen to your annoying voice, that deal is over,” Lucas turned towards Phoebe. “Pregnant skank let’s go find your husband.” “Baby gravy Lucas?” Phoebe laughed. Lucas walked her to Alex. “She was picking a fight with some girl I was about to um… make a mistake with. She got shoved, you’re okay right?” Lucas asked.
“Yes,” Phoebe said and laughed. “What’s so funny?” Alex asked. “Baby Gravy, Lucas?” Phoebe giggled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex snapped as he looked her over, ensuring she was, in fact, all right. “You should make her show you later,” Lucas winked and walked away. *** Alex pulled into the farm with a four- month- old female Labradoodle. “What’s this?” Tessa asked. “It’s a dog they’re going to put down because they can’t find a home for her. The word bitch holds true with her on both counts,” he said as Tessa opened the cage, “Be careful she’s nippy.” She licked Tessa’s hand. “Yeah, she is ferocious. Come here girl” she grabbed her collar and got her out, “Why are you nasty? I don’t think they know what they’re talking about. Those vet students have another year for a reason, you are so sweet.” “You want to keep her for a few days,” Alex asked, “Just to see what you can do with her?” “Alex I’m working twelve hours today and trying to pick up a shift tomorrow.” “She can be crated, I’ll let her out. If I take her back, she’ll be dead, your choice.” He said, “Just try Tessa, try to love something other than him, try to love her.” “I know what you’re doing,” the dog licked her face. “Is it working?” “We’ll see. What’s her name?” “I was thinking Leia” he smiled, got in his truck and pulled out. “Alright Leia can you run?” she asked, “Because it’s what’s keeping me sane right now maybe it will help you, too.” They ran for two miles, and Leia was dragging. They came back to the house, and Leia was very friendly with her family. “You're not vicious at all,” she put her in the crate with food and water and left for work.
CHAPTER THIRTY Kendall was going to take Jose and Lucas to the airport in the morning. Tessa was trying her best to find a shift to cover so she would be busy. She needed to keep herself busy. She had been doing a great job staying away and convincing herself and anyone around her that she was doing wonderfully. Her heart ached for him and she still needed to know he was alright. As hard as Tessa was trying to find a shift to cover, overtime wasn’t panning out today. Go figure on the day I needed it, it wasn’t available she thought. Her phone chimed it was him - I need to see you... LL - I don’t know, Lucas… Tessa - Tessa, please I just want to talk… LL - Than come down I’m not going up there… Tessa - See you in an hour… LL Tessa showered and was outside playing fetch with Leia when Lucas pulled in. He got out and walked over and hugged Tessa, Leia growled and showed her teeth. “New dog?” he stepped back. “Yeah, they were going to put her down because she’s mean, but she likes me. Leia this is Lucas” she laughed. “What’s so funny?” “Luke and Leia, Star Wars,” she laughed. He bent down “Nice to meet you Leia.” He tried to pet her, and she snapped at him and growled. “I don’t think she likes me” he laughed.” Did you name her?” “No, Alex did.” “Can we walk?” “Sure, come Leia,” she said, and Leia followed her. “I leave in the morning,” he said. “I want to say I’m sorry again, for the other night not just the Adam thing but the girl.” She looked confused, “What girl, Lucas?” “Phoebe didn’t tell you?” “Nope.” “Okay well, some girl gave me a hand job on a ride,” he looked at her. “Thanks for sharing… I needed that.” “Okay, so now I should lie to you? I never have before, and now you want me to?” he asked. “Let’s make a deal, we don’t talk about our budding relationships to each other. It does nothing but create hurt, then comes doubt and then comes the desire to be needed. Then comes make up sex and then the inability to breathe or move and then we end up here anyway,” Tessa said in an exasperated tone. “So you’re with someone?” “No Lucas, but if and when I do meet someone, I would never want to hurt you with it.” “But you won’t lie to me either?”
“No, but really Lucas why are we discussing this?” “Probably because honesty was the second best thing about our relationship.” “And the first?” She asked quietly looking down. “You loving me anyway,” he grabbed her hand. Leia growled, “Easy angry, bitter, mean bitch.” Tessa laughed, “I don’t think she likes you either.” “Did you tell her stories — because animal like me,” Lucas smiled. She laughed, “None yet.” “Can we walk down there?” he asked, “On sacred ground?” “Sure but only because I am taking you, it’s my place, got it?” *** They walked down to the bottom of the falls and Leia splashed in the water trying to catch a tadpole. “It is extraordinarily beautiful down here,” he looked around. She sat against a tree “Yep, it’s heaven on earth.” Lucas looked up and saw a heart with their initials carved in it a number 4 and ever. “Did you do this?” She smiled, “Yes I did.” “When?” he asked. “Four years ago.” “What day?” “The day after we knocked boots for the first time,” she laughed. “And the second and third I believe,” he said, “I feel the same thing in my heart for you today Tessa.” “I know,” Tessa put her head on his shoulder. “How do you know?” “Because I do too,” she said softly. “Lucas, it hasn’t changed. But there is still always drama and other girls and fighting and pain. But I won’t do it to you anymore, and I don’t want you to do it to me. I’ll never doubt that we loved each other Lucas. That would make it all a horrible waste of time. It just didn’t work. We need to be friends or it’ll just be a waste. I don’t want it to feel like that. Ever.” She stood up. And walked to the water, Lucas followed. “You’re going to have an amazing life, and so am I,” Tessa smiled up at him. “How can you be so sure we’re over? How can you stand here and talk about us like we’re not completely connected forever? If you stopped breathing Tessa I would, I know this to be true, why can’t you feel it?” She hugged him, “Lucas I don’t know the answers to anything right now, but if it hurts, you have to stop doing it. We’re no different, we’re the same stubborn ass kids that we were five years ago. We haven’t changed so how can our situation?” “I have changed Tessa, you could never see it though,” Lucas said in anger. “Okay, I haven’t. I’m an emotional hothead and love the same boy that hurts me. You are the same beautiful, hot, sexy, giving, smart, hard working and almost perfect boy that I fell in love with all those years ago. Whether or not you see it, I’m not enough for you Lucas, I’m not,” Tessa continued looking at him “Don’t you see how hard it is to admit that to myself? To feel like something is wrong with me. That I can’t possibly fill all of your needs. Then I try to believe, and I do believe that there is someone out there for you that can complete you and someone is out there for me. That will love and desire everything about me. Someone who when they leave my sight I won’t be scared they’re with someone else.” “That’s how I make you feel?” he asked. “Tessa, is that what it has been for you?” “No… not always,” she said. “There were perfect moments and lots of them. But you are missing the
point Lucas. I want you to find the one who never makes you want another again, I believe in that, you deserve that. I want you to be happy and never sad again.” “I can’t fucking do this with you!” Lucas turned away, “I want to have one night before I leave to have you smile and laugh and talk to me, can you please do that Tessa instead of making me feel like shit?” She looked sadly at him “No one said this was supposed to be fun or easy or make either one of us happy.” “I want to go do something with you. Something that doesn’t make me think about tomorrow or knowing your head is not still in this or that when I leave, you will never talk to me again. I need you tonight.” “It’s not going to hurt any less tomorrow or a week or a month from now,” Tessa said softly. “Tomorrow is a new beginning for me. Tonight I walk away from what I fucked up. Can you just do that for me?” “Sure Lucas.” How can he expect this from me, stupid girl, she thought. “Let’s go down to the fair.” “Okay, thank you,” Lucas let out a breath. They walked up to the house in silence. “I’ll pick you up in an hour, thank you for sharing your place with me,” he hugged her. She walked into the house, and Leia followed her. She went upstairs and cried. Leia licked her face and put her paw on her. “We are one messed up pair,” she pet her. *** Tessa woke and went down to the bathroom to shower. She let her hair air dry and put on very little makeup. She wore Capri’s and a tank top that didn’t fit her snugly anymore. Lucas pulled in all smiles and looking perfect with a stupid white hat on, she walked out and rolled her eyes. “You okay?” “Yes, lose the hat or I won’t get in,” he laughed. “It’s my lucky hat,” he opened the door for her. “I bet,” she said. “Are you going to pout all night or can we have fun?” he asked as he pulled out of the driveway. “Does it really matter?” “Nope, you’re here with me, be as nasty as you want to be,” Lucas grabbed her hand and kissed it. She rode in the car and sat back she was annoyed at herself. He turned on the radio. “Sing to me?” She looked at him and sat back. “You sing,” and he did and she laughed. They walked in by the concessions, and he grabbed her hand and looked at her, “This okay?” “Whatever you want Lucas.” “I want you to have fun,” he hugged her. And I want to heal she thought. “I will.” “What do you want to do first?” “Get a drink,” she said. “Alright,” he pulled her behind him through the crowd. They walked to the beer tent, and she bought four drinks, two of which she slammed. She handed him one, and they walked out past a group of gawking women. Tessa flipped them off. “Tessa what are you doing?” “Having fun Lucas,” she slammed her drink and took his.
“You might want to slow down Tessa,” he whispered in her ear. “You might not want me too,” she winked at him. He looked at her, “Is this already something you planned to do tonight or is it the beer?” “Does it matter?” she kissed him. “Do you want to?” “Heart yes, Head no, Who Who, absolutely,” she laughed. “I don’t know Tessa.” She laughed again. “I need another drink.” “Why are you getting drunk?” “So I can ask you to bite them again,” she laughed. He smiled, but she could tell he was disappointed. “You’re mad at me?” “No, I’m not,” Lucas said. “But I am hungry, we should get something to eat.” “Sounds like fun,” she kissed him again. “No, Tessa real food,” he said. “You need to eat.” She got fries and a veggie burger. “You’re eating vegetarian food now?” “I think I should,” she said, “Have you ever seen the way I act during deer season? How long can I pull that off and still eat meat.” “Almost twenty- two years so far,” he laughed. “Don’t tell anyone I’ll never hear the end of it. I’m still going to eat chicken,” she laughed, “Is that cheating?” “I won’t tell, and I don’t think so,” he smiled. Tessa saw Sadi and her boyfriend walk up. “We have company Lucas,” Tessa whispered. “Hello Lucas, Hello Tessa how are you doing?” Sadi asked. “We’re great,” Tessa smiled.” How are you two doing?” “We’re great getting married and then there is this,” she pointed at her belly. “Wow,” Tessa smiled, “Congratulations! When are you due what are you having?” “A girl and in three months,” she smiled. “How are you Lucas?” “Congratulations,” he said and shook both of their hands. “So when are you two getting married,” Sadi asked, “Soon right?” “Yeah,” Lucas said, “Soon. We have to get going. I’m happy for you both. You ready Tessa?” “Sure,” Tessa looked at him. *** “Lucas, are you alright?” she squeezed his hand. “Yes, but I really don’t want to be here right now, too crowded. Can we go somewhere else, anywhere else?” “Yes, of course.” He drove out of town, “Tessa will you stay with me tonight. I won’t try anything just stay with me, please.” “Lucas, I don’t know…” “Please Tessa?” he asked. “I just want to hold you.” “Okay.” ***
They walked in, and she looked around, it was clean and smelled like him. “You know you could stay here when I go if you want. You know where the key is. I didn’t move it.” “Thank you, I have Leia, she needs to get used to home. I’m going away for awhile at the end of the summer.” “Really? Where to?” She laughed, “I’m not sure, but I want to get away and spend some time with just me.” “Ok, you could come to California,” Lucas offered. “No thank you, I hate that place,” she said quietly. “Are you okay with the Sadi thing?” “Yes I’m glad she is doing well,” he answered hesitantly. “But?” “She’s happy Tessa, I’m not. I lied and said we were getting married soon. I’m not a liar.” “It was hard for you, I understand don’t beat yourself up,” she grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. “Are you cold?” “A little, but I’m good now.” He ran up and grabbed her a sweatshirt. “Here,” he took the blanket. “Thank you,” she said pulling it over her head. “Do you still have scrabble?” “I think so do you want to play?” he smiled She smiled back, “Sure, just not naughty scrabble.” They played and talked about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. Tessa started dosing off partially because she was tired, but the alcohol didn’t help. “Are you ready for bed Tessa?” “No, sorry I’ve just been working a lot and I’m tired, but I like this. I’m having fun talking to you,” she said softly. He smiled, “Me too.” Lucas got up and got her a drink and an ibuprofen. “Do you like your job?” “I like labor and delivery a lot. I do overtime in pediatric and that’s very sad.” “You’re good with people Tessa. I’m sure even though it’s hard those sick kids are happy to see you. Why are you working so much?” “I want to save money for when I go away.” “And you have no idea where you’re going?” “No,” she laughed” I’ll figure it out I’m sure. I’m probably going to sign with the traveling nurse team out of Syracuse. I’ll be able to go where I want to, when I want to. It’s more money, so I hope to be able to be home a lot.” “You’ve made a lot of plans haven’t you?” he asked sadly. “Yep, it keeps me busy.” “And you're taking classes?” “Yes, towards my practitioner license.” “And why do you want that?” “So that when I have kids… because I want kids Lucas, I don’t want to work nights and weekends. I want to be able to coach their teams and make their games and hang out on weekends and camp and play and bake cookies” she laughed. “You are going to be a good Mom, Tessa,” he said sadly. “That’s one thing I do know to be true,” she looked away from him. “I never doubted it. I just said I didn’t deserve it,” he said trying to ease any doubt she may have “You’re great with kids Lucas, and you’ll be a good daddy” she smiled doing the same for him. “I
knew you would have been to ours if that had happened.” “But it didn’t,” Lucas sat back and pulled her feet on his lap. “Nope.” “Can we talk about something else?” “Yes,” she yawned. “Can we go upstairs before I have to carry you up?” he stood and laughed and grabbed her hand. She felt her head spin as he pulled her up. “Slow down,” she grabbed her head. “Dizzy?” “Just a little.” She walked into the bathroom and brushed her teeth with her finger and rinsed off her face. She pulled off the sweatshirt and dragged her bra off through her sleeve. She walked out and laid down. He went into the bathroom and did the same and came out in his shorts. He laid behind her and pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. She held his hand to her heart, and he felt her shake. “Don’t be sad, tonight please,” he kissed her head. She tried to steady her breaths and finally did, “Sorry.” He rubbed her back and she started to fall asleep, she sat up. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Yes, I just don’t want to fall asleep yet,” Tessa laid down and put her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around him. He rubbed her back and breathed in her scent. She knew what he was doing and rubbed his belly. “Does it smell alright?” She smiled up at him. “Perfect,” he said. “You won’t go to the airport tomorrow?” “Please don’t make me,” she said and he felt her quiver. “Okay,” he rubbed her back. “Are you going to be here when I wake up?” “I don’t know.” “Will you, please?” “Okay.” He kissed her and pulled her tighter to him. He didn’t try anything, and she was glad because this way she didn’t have to feel like she was betraying herself. But she wanted him badly, just one more time. She woke up as he quietly slipped out of bed. He answered his phone she couldn’t hear the conversation, and she really didn’t want too. He walked back in and laid down, and she rolled back onto him. “Did I wake you?” “Yes,” she said softly.” What time is it?” “Ten o’clock,” He rubbed her back. “Is everything alright?” “Yes, do you want to know who it was?” “No,” she said. He chuckled, “It was my Dad, the four of them are going to come out to California next weekend.” “You don’t owe me an explanation, Lucas,” she started to cry. “Tessa you don’t have to act like you don’t care.” She sat up and walked into the bathroom and shut the door, she looked in the mirror, and she was doing the ugly cry. She sat on the floor and just allowed the tears to flow. She stood up and washed her face and tried to calm down. “Tessa are you, shit,” he said. “Can I come in?” “Give me another minute,” she went to the bathroom and washed her hands.
She walked out he hugged her. She looked up at him and shook her head. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.” “No, I don’t know this just doesn’t feel real. I feel like someone knocked the wind out of me, and for the past few weeks I haven’t been able to breathe. I feel like sometime soon I’m going to wake up, and it’s going to be all better. And I think I’m scared to death that you are leaving me again, and I know this is not even close to ever being alright. I want to hate you I want to just know that tomorrow it’s all over,” she clung tightly to him and cried more. “I can’t see you without needing you to want me and need me, and when I feel like you do, I get so angry at you for all of this. And I know it’s not all you. I need to move on, or I am going to rot. And in order to do that I need you to do the same. And Lucas I don’t want that either. Then you have her over here and get a fucking hand job at the fair and here I am pathetic, and I tell myself it’s for you and I know it’s for me too. What the fuck is wrong with both of us Lucas? This is insane. I hate who I am,” Tessa pulled away and ran down the stairs and outside. “Where are you going Tessa?” he asked following her. “Fucking crazy! Take me home or take me to bed,” she looked at him. He shook his head no, “Tessa, you don’t want that.” “Who else have you fucked Lucas since we’ve been together, I want to know everything right now?! Who you fucked, who has sucked your dick, who you have touched. I want to know since the day you told me you loved me, who you have been with in any way shape or form.” “You know everything Tessa, we don’t need to go through this again,” he looked down. “You’re lying,” she laughed as she continued to cry. “Tessa what is that conversation going to prove? You’re done, we’re done, you want kids, I don’t. I want you to want me and nothing else, but that’s not enough for you. You have never been like anyone else, I love you, but it’s not going to work. What do you want to do now?” he yelled. She grabbed his face, “You're leaving something out Lucas and I deserve to know! You have had unprotected sex with me for years. Whoever you’ve had sex with, intercourse or otherwise is my problem. You have made them my problem. I deserve to know!” “All you need to know is I have never gone down on anyone but you and that I have only not used condoms with two people you and Sadi. Now I’ll take you home. Thanks for nothing. This was supposed to be a good night for us, fucking closure Tessa!” he pulled away from her. “You have a problem,” she walked down the driveway. He grabbed her arm “Get in the fucking car!” “No, get your filthy hands off of me,” she tried to pull away. “No!” “How many people have you slept with while you were with me Lucas?” “I’m not much on sleep” he threw her over his shoulder and dropped her in the car. “If you get up I will put your ass back in.” She grabbed the keys, “Answer me? Did you sleep with Jenny?” He shook his head and looked down, “Give me the fucking keys Tessa!” “Answer me!” “I don’t have to — I already told you once,” he said. “How many others?” “One,” he said, “Are you happy now?” “Now that I know you’re a fucking lying cheat? No Lucas happy isn’t the word, disgusted and stupid come to mind,” she said. “Take me home, please. How could you expect all that you have from me! You never loved me, you loved the idea of a girl like me!” “And what’s that Tessa… a little wallflower nympho?” “Yes that’s it,” she said. “I’m embarrassed that I ever listened to a fucking word you said. Lucky for
you, my wallflower ass gives a fuck about you and unlike you and your desire to publically humiliate me I won’t ever talk about what you really are!” “Whatever Tessa I’m sick of hearing your voice, maybe you should suck my dick to keep your mouth busy.” “Thanks, Lucas” she laughed. “I probably will never suck a dick again, but the next guy who wants my ass I’m going to do it and call you after!” “You’re funny Tessa, no one's going to want it,” he said and laughed. “You have no ass anymore!” “I’m so glad I’ll never have to deal with you again,” she said quietly. “Back at you BABY,” he turned down her road. “Just for your future conquests, if you pride yourself on not being a liar, just don’t be! And find a new pet name baby is lame,” she started laughing. “It’s funny Tessa?” he asked, “it turned you on, you and the three after you.” She laughed, “Good to know I am not the only idiot.” “No, you take the cake! All I had to do is act like I cared and you would have done anything I wanted. And you believed I wanted a baby with you, unreal,” he laughed. She took a deep breath and held it, afraid if she didn’t she would fall apart. “Oh, that one stung, didn’t it Tessa? What- — nothing more?” She felt tears, and she started to shake. She rolled down the window. “Pull over!” he did and she got out and threw up. She started walking, and he got out she threw up again. She was shaking and crying and throwing up as he stood there watching her. “Get in the car!” “I can walk from here!” She threw up again. He pulled her hair back, “Don’t touch me!” “Tessa... I didn’t fuck Jenny,” he said angry at himself. “Lucas I don’t care!” she wiped her mouth with her hands. “When I was with you there were two, and you know about them,” he handed her his shirt. “Wipe your face.” “I want to walk from here.” “No, I picked you up and I will drop you off.” “The two were over the past few weeks, and I used condoms. Your ass is desirable, and I’m sorry about the baby comment. I wanted our child. I still wish it hadn’t happened, I don’t know how to respond to you! I don’t know how to leave you! I don’t know why I fucked around on you! I know I have lost you and I have no idea what to do either! I tried to hurt you again. Come on your cold get in,” she got in and turned on the heat, her teeth chattered. “Please come home with me. I leave in ten hours. I’m sorry this is not how I wanted to leave,” he hugged her. “I’m so sorry. Both happened after the last time we.” “Lucas I don’t want to know anymore, please take me home,” she looked out the window. Lucas turned around and drove back to his place, he opened her door and pulled her out. They walked in, and he grabbed her some clothes. “Take a shower Tessa.” She did and dressed and walked out and laid down and fell asleep. She only woke once, and she was wrapped around him. She fell back to sleep, and he held her tighter. She woke up in the morning to him rubbing her back and kissing her head. She got up and brushed her teeth and went to the bathroom. He was in the doorway and walked her back to the bed, and she laid down. He brushed his teeth and took a shower. He came out, and she covered her head not wanting to see him naked. He threw on a pair of boxers and laid down next to her and pulled her over to him and lightly kissed her face and moved to her
lips. She kissed him back, and they held each other. She rubbed his chest and looked up at him and kissed him again. Tessa and Lucas held each other until they heard a car pull in. They got up and went downstairs, and he made her a bowl of cereal, her favorite kind. He kissed her softly. “Good morning.” She smiled and hugged him, “No it’s not.” Lucas smiled and kissed her again. “Good morning you two,” Jose walked in “Good morning,” Lucas said not letting go of Tessa. “Good morning,” she said softly. “You all packed and ready?” Jose asked. “Yes,” Lucas said, “Bags are in the garage, I just have to pull the SUV in.” “I can do that,” Jose grabbed the keys and walked out. He held her “You going to eat?” he asked, and she shook her head no. “Will you change your mind and ride with us to the airport?” Tessa shook her head no again. *** They pulled into the farm and Kendall walked out. “Good morning Tessa, glad you’re here, I won’t have to ride home alone.” Lucas smiled and got in the back with Tessa. She snuggled into his arms and stayed there until they pulled into the airport. He kissed her, and she kissed him back. They all got out of the vehicle. “I’m not going in. I have the wrong shoes on,” Tessa smiled looking at him. “Okay,” he hugged her, “I’ll meet you in there,” he nodded to Jose, “Tessa I’m truly sorry.” “Lucas we have talked enough kiss me and leave,” she smiled sadly. Lucas finished kissing her, and he walked away. He turned around and saw her touching her lips and tears falling down her face. He took a deep breath and walked in the airport. Tessa sat in the car and cried until she saw Kendall walking out. She dried her eyes on his sweatshirt and smelled him. Kendall hugged her, “You’re going to be alright.” They drove home, and Tessa ran upstairs and fell asleep. Her phone chimed, and it was him - We’re here in very sunny California, flight was good. Sorry Tessa…Lucas - I am glad you are there safely. Thanks for the text, kick butt Lucas Links… Tessa Lucas had gone from signing his texts Lucas and not LL. He was across the country at the same place he was when their relationship ended. He was starting over where he had made the decision that ended them. Tessa was stuck here, a place she fell in love. A place where life spiraled out of control for her in the past almost five years. This place of comfort now became her private hell. It did so because of the choices she had made things she knew were not right. Tessa felt sick again, and as she shook and cried Leia jumped up and licked her, and she pet her. She fell asleep crying hugging her dog tightly ***. Over the next month, Tessa worked twelve- hour shifts. She spent a lot of time with her family. Lucas stopped texting her with daily updates, and she was able to feel halfway human again. She got an apartment in Syracuse not far from where she and Lucas had lived, and she took piano lessons once a
week with Adam. She didn’t sing as much and she ran with Leia most every day. Tessa didn’t fill her void with a man, she had work and piano. She and Adam occasionally went out for dinner and talked about his crazy life and his daughter. He had started dating someone and their dinners came to an end. Kendall came and stayed with her one weekend, and Tessa took Kendall’s phone out of pure desperation, wanting to know that Lucas was alright. Jose had texted Kendall that Lucas was a handful and that Tessa deserved better. Jose loved the guy, but he would never understand what demons he must be fighting that the love of that girl had not been able to drive out of him. Lucas had a group of favorites, his new dirty dozen Tessa thought, that he rotated between. He had missed this lifestyle and was enjoying it to the fullest. He had called John and told him he was going to put the house on the market, he had no reason to come back there. He wanted no more than he had spent building it. John had the insurance money from Camp and was considering using it to buy a house. Lucas and John had decided they would discuss it further at the end of Lucas’s first season. Jade called Tessa and told her that there was a scrimmage at the Meadowlands and that she and Ryan were going to see Lucas play. Tessa offered to watch the kids for the weekend, and Jade accepted. Tessa played in the pool with them and laughed a lot. Molly and Sydney came up and stayed with them. Molly and Cory were considering trying to have another child. Little Lukie had taken over Lucas’s old bedroom. It was beautifully decorated. He insisted that she lay with him until he fell asleep. Tessa sent a picture of the two of them in a tent on his floor. - Me and Lukie camping… Tessa Her phone chimed it was Lucas - very distracting, seeing you in my old room… Lucas She didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Half an hour later her phone chimed again - Have you lost your sense of humor Tessa?... Lucas - Nope, something’s are just not funny… Tessa - You miss me don’t you?... Lucas - Please don’t Lucas… Tessa - Well, I miss you, all of you… Lucas - I am sure you have kept yourself very occupied…. Tessa - I heard you moved to Syracuse, I am sure you are doing the same…Lucas - Yeah, I’m out whoring it up every night… Tessa - Nice, how is Adam?... Lucas - The same as he always has been, my friend and teacher, - He has a great new girlfriend… Tessa - Is it you?... Lucas - No Lucas, I haven’t been with anyone. I am healing from a very nasty and devastating breakup, you should try doing the same. But as I told you weeks ago, this is none of your business. And I don’t want to know how many people
it took to fill the void. I just hope you're happy and safe Lucas, nothing more or less… Tessa - Void is not fully satisfied… yet, but I am working on it. Yeah, the happiness lasts about an hour and then there you are in my head fucking things up… Lucas - Sorry to hear that. Goodnight Lucas… Tessa Tessa walked outside and cried. Molly came out and hugged her. “You are going to be alright Tessa, I am so sorry you're going through all of this,” Molly comforted her. Tessa wiped her face and smiled, “Better now than five more years and kids in the picture.” *** Her phone rang, and it was him. “Hello,” she answered. “Hey, perfect how are you?” he asked and she didn’t answer. “Tessa?” “Yes I’m… is everything alright Lucas.” “Yes, I want to see you. I’m going to come home for a day, can we talk?” “I don’t know Lucas, I’m trying to ..” she stopped. “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” “I need to see you, not fuck you Tessa,” he snapped. “Fine.” “You off Monday?” “Yes,” she answered. “Good see you then,” he hung up. The next day she took the kids to the park and said goodbye to Sydney and Molly. She laid the kids down for a nap and did her nails and feet. She was a mess, and she would see him again tomorrow. Not that it mattered she would never touch him again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE “Hello,” Tessa answered the phone. “Tessa… Lucas got pretty beat up today, he is in surgery now. He’s alright, but his arm is broken and they’re going to see what the rest of the damage is,” Jade explained. “Oh no, what happened?” “The Jets were very rough on him,” Jade sighed. “Please keep me updated. God Jade,” Tessa started crying. “Tessa this is not your problem now. I wouldn’t have told you if I weren't going to ask that you stay with the kids if you can’t I’ll call the Lanes.” “No, we… we’ll be fine,” Tessa said, “Please make sure he is alright, tell him I’m sorry.” “You’re seeing him tomorrow, you can tell him,” Jade said stiffly. *** The next day Tessa and the kids were in the pool, and Ryan and Jade pulled in. Riley and Lukie were happy to see their Momma. “Is he okay Jade?” Tessa’s tears started falling. “Ask him yourself,” Lucas walked from behind Jade smiling, and hugged Tessa. “Look at you.” “You’re okay?” Tessa hugged him back. “Of course, I am,” Lucas looked her up and down and shook his head. Tessa handed Jackson to Jade and picked up Riley, who was stuck to her leg like glue. “Wow Tessa, you are stunning,” Lucas grinned. “Okay let’s go inside and change so you guys can tell your Mom and Dad all about our crazy weekend,” Tessa laughed wiping her eyes. “Thanks for the warning Jade.” Tessa got dressed, and Jade hugged her babies. The house was full of baked goods and craft projects. Lucas smiled as he saw the house full of what he thought must have been a very busy fun weekend for those three little people who got to spend three days with Tessa. Tessa made lunch as Ryan and Jade took turns playing with the kids and unpacking. Tessa was standing against the counter thinking about the day Lucas first proposed to her. It was here while she sat laughing after he had brought her in from her streaking across his lawn that he gave her a ring, and she accepted. It was here that she had forgiven him for Sadi, and it was here that she had made love to Lucas Links for the first time. It's not just home, it’s everywhere. I will never be able to escape this pain she thought. “You need any help?” Lucas asked breaking her from her thoughts. “No, but can you give me an assessment of your situation?” Tessa asked quickly. He laughed, “I got my ass kicked, I came home to an amazing woman draped in three little angels, a house full of cookies and cakes and happy little crafts everywhere.” He laughed, and she didn’t look up at him. “Medically, what is wrong with you?” “Two broken bones in this arm, my Rotator cuff is torn, I have a brain injury that must have been there since birth to have ever walked away from you. The good news is I’m off for the season so maybe we could work this out.” She looked at him and felt numb. She took a deep breath and walked away. “Lunch is done,” she yelled.
They sat and ate, and Tessa pushed her food around as Lucas watched her the whole time. Tessa and Jade cleaned up. Lucas was in obvious pain. Jade handed Tessa Lucas’ Meds, “I’m not sure what to give him and when.” Tessa read his discharge instructions and gave him his pill. “If it’s not too much to ask could you take me to my place? I’ll take them there. If not I will probably pass out here and Jade has three little ones to take care of. She doesn’t need me,” his brows creased. *** They walked in the door, and Tessa carried in his bags as he sat on the couch and watched her. She grabbed him some water and handed him his medicine. He took his pill. “Can you stay?” “I will, but Lucas I can’t do this.” “I don’t expect anything Tessa. It’s not like that, I haven’t found Jesus yet. I haven’t even looked,” his eyes got heavy, and she helped him lay down. “I’m going to the store for a few things, is there anything you need or want?” “No, this is perfect,” he fell asleep. Tessa walked in carrying in all the necessities. She grabbed groceries, toilet paper, and deodorant, everything to fill his house so that he didn’t have to worry about it. She cooked and cleaned, and he slept for four hours. He woke up to music and the smell of a home cooked meal. “Hey,” he hugged her. “Thank you.” “Sit and eat, those pills are very hard on your belly,” she said. “You’re also going to need to get a lot of fiber because the pain Meds will constipate you.” “Thank you,” Lucas sat and ate. She put a bowl of cereal in front of him and smiled. Lucas thought about all the times she had taken care of him and how good it felt to have someone who loved him enough to do that. Not even, his parents had ever done that, put him first. Tessa always did, and here she was doing it again, I don’t deserve this from her he thought. “What’s this nasty stuff for?” “Fiber,” she laughed. “Trust me you’ll be much happier that way.” He ate it, and she handed him a glass of water. He looked at her and shook his head. “You don’t have to.” “Well, right now you don’t have a choice, Audrianna and the girls will be up Thursday night, I don’t want to worry your Mom, so you’re stuck with me,” she gave him a fake smile. “I wouldn’t want anyone else here Tessa. I know that’s completely selfish, sorry.” “I like to take care of people Lucas,” Tessa smiled. “You’re due for your pills.” “I slept that long?” he said and got up and opened the refrigerator and laughed.” I guess so, you’ve been cooking. Who brought all this stuff up?” “I went to the store, you should be good on household items for a few weeks. Your sheets are on the line so when you’re ready to go upstairs you’ll have clean sheets.” “When did I get a clothes line?” “This afternoon.” “Thank you,” hugged her. “Will you sit with me?” “No, I’m going to get the rooms ready for your family, but if you need something, I’m here.” He woke up at ten, and she gave him his Meds. “I need a shower,” he was in pain. “First your Meds, ok?” she rubbed the back of his head. She grabbed a garbage bag to wrap his arm and helped him upstairs, “You’re going to take a bath.”
She drew a bath and put in bubbles. Tessa saw him trying to take off him shirt and laughed. “You won’t be laughing when you have to undress my sorry ass,” he was annoyed. “I’m a professional, I think I can handle it,” she took his shirt off and did her best not the check him out. “To the bathroom, Lucas,” she undid his pants avoiding eye contact. Lucas pushed her hair away from her face and watched as she unzipped them. Tessa pulled his pants down and walked out, “You’re going to have to do the rest.” Fuck! She screamed in her head as she grabbed a pillow and held it tightly to her face. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Lucas was a house, he had bulked up so much. If possible, he was even more beautiful. Tessa heard a bang, and she open the door he was pissed. “I can’t fucking do this!” She helped him up and got him in the tub, and he looked up at her and thanked her again. She washed his back and his hair. “You got the rest?” “Yep.” “Call me in when you’re ready to get out,” she said and walked out of the bathroom and hugged herself tightly. Lucas yelled for her to help and he was angry. Tessa went in and had to stand in the bathtub to help lift him up. God, she closed her eyes tightly when she looked at his ass. When she got out, she paid no attention to his manhood. He noticed her looking up and away from him, and it annoyed him. “Are you okay, you look pissed.” “I can’t even take a bath, and there you are taking care of me. I wasn’t trying to make things better for us!” Lucas snapped. “You can stop beating yourself up Lucas. I’m here because I care about my friend. I’m going away in a couple weeks. I’m not trying to make things better for us either. I’m going to take care of me.” “You’re really going to take a month off?” “Yes, I need a break from life, actually I am taking five weeks off. I plan to hang out with my buddy Lucas until his family gets here,” she laughed. “Where are you going?” “Not really sure yet and your internet isn’t on, or your cable, by the way, so I will figure it out at the end of the week,” Tessa helped him to bed. “I’m going to take your vitals, and then you need to sleep.” “Will you stay in here with me?” “No Lucas.” She wanted to, and if it were any other friend in the world she would, but not him…not now. Her alarm went off every three and a half hours, and she would get him something to eat and his meds. He was awake in pain most of the time and it broke her heart. Each time she went in she stayed a little longer trying to comfort him. By morning, he had the cable and internet back on, and she set up appointments for him for physical therapy. He didn’t answer many phone calls, and they made small chit chat. She finished up a class she was taking and searched for destinations for her upcoming trip. Nothing felt right. Lucas asked for help starting a facebook page, and she laughed. He sent her a friend request from the couch, and she denied it, he laughed and sent another. By day three, he felt better, and she was exhausted. She fell asleep in his bed that night, and he held her and woke up before she did. He was downstairs when she came down. “Thanks for last night,” he laughed. “Funny,” she rolled her eyes, “You should have woke me up.”
“I feel better, will you take me to the store today I want to get out,” he asked changing the subject. “Sure.” They went shopping, and he bought a video game system and a few Disney movies and Barbie dolls to occupy the girls and his self for the next week. “The dolls for you Lucas?” Tessa asked, and he looked confused, “That store up there might sell blow up dolls.” They both laughed. He looked at Victoria Secret and asked, “Need anything for your trip?” “No, I don’t wear underwear anymore.” “Never?” his jaw dropped. She laughed and kept walking. *** They came home, and he went upstairs and asked for his Meds. She brought them up. “Hey, Tessa can we talk?” “Sure.” “Well, first thank you for everything.” “You’re welcome,” she smiled softly. “I also want you to know I’m sorry for all of it,” he said and looked down. “We are past that, I forgive you and hope you have done the same for me,” she said and smiled. “Okay, I am not sure for what, but okay,” he said. “I can tell by you being here you still love me, and I have never stopped. But I hope you can figure out whatever it is you need to when you’re gone to wherever it is your going. I also need you to know when I get through this I’m going to therapy. I know that you’re exactly perfect for me but don’t expect you to accept that overnight. I want you to do whatever it is you need to do to find yourself again. But please don’t change. I’m going to get better for me first then for us.” “For you Lucas, and I will figure it out for me.” “What about us?” he asked “Lucas we need to figure ourselves out. I don’t know — I can’t plan on that, and either can you. You’re going to be off for a long time, and your idol little mind is going to be running wild,” she laughed. “Actually I am going back to work for Dad in three weeks, bossing people around will be great fun after being screamed at by all those coaches for years,” he smiled. “When I worked for him life was good.” She smiled, “Good Lucas, you’ll be using your degree.” “The one you made me finish,” he hugged her. They talked about where he would be working and the things she had planned. He asked about her place in Syracuse and her piano lessons. She told him everything about the past few weeks. “Forgive me for not asking about yours. I just don’t want all the gory details. But you can tell me everything else.” He told her that it was fun for a couple weeks, but he wasn’t happy. He liked working for his dad much better, and he was not planning to go back. All his dreams had already come true as far as the game went, but when he gave himself time to think it wasn’t the game he missed, it was his family, friends, and home, “It hurt like hell getting my ass kicked every day. I really admire the guys though, just not for me. High school and College football was awesome. NFL — fucking brutal.” Tessa loved hearing him talk about his passions. He was holding her hand and eventually she was leaning against him. She fell asleep mid- sentence and he watched her. When he knew she was asleep, he kissed her. She woke up to his kiss.
“Lucas, please don’t, things are just getting better,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you Baby. Sorry,” Lucas pulled her back against his chest. “Go to sleep I won’t do it again.” Audrianna and the kids came, and she made dinner for them. The girls loved all the stuff Lucas had bought, and he looked happy. “How are you, Tessa?” Audri asked as they did dishes. “I am alright. I think he is too, he’s excited to work for Landon again.” “I think Landon is too,” she smiled. “So what happens with the two of you now?” “I can be his friend. I need a break or I’m going to lose myself even more than I feel I already have. He knows and seems alright with it. I’ll never stop caring about him or being his friend. And if it is really supposed to be him and I then someday it will be. He doesn’t know I feel that way and I prefer he not. I seriously doubt it,” Tessa smiled sadly, “I forgave him, it’s the forgetting part that will always come in our way. Both for me and for him.” “Tessa you take care of you, I have got this,” she said. “And I want you to know how eternally grateful we are for you and if you need anything ever all you need to do is ask.” “Well, I need him to be okay and happy and that’s it,” Tessa said quietly. Tessa read to the girls with Lucas, and they fell asleep. Audri hugged her and tears rolled down her cheek. “Don’t do that… please,” Tessa whispered. “Sorry Tessa,” Audrianna wiped her tears away. Lucas walked out with her and hugged her. “Thank you… For everything,” Lucas kissed her lightly on the cheek and she left.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO Tessa moved out of her apartment that weekend and put the few things she bought in storage. Before leaving the city, she decided to visit Toby’s grave. She sat on the ground and leaned against his stone. She missed her friend. A man she knew would have kept her safe even if they had not ended up together he would have helped her through this awful time. She imagined how their life might have turned out and smiled and laughed at herself. Seriously, Tessa Ross get it together and stop thinking impossible thoughts. He is dead, Lucas was not for you and you need to move forward. Aunt Ann, Tessa thought ‘If we sit and wallow, the hell will consume us…walk through it without looking back…We can't change the past, but your future is beautiful you just have to let yourself see it.’ “Thank you, Aunt Ann,” Tessa whispered to heaven... Tessa knew exactly where she would be going. A place Lucas and she never had the time to visit. A place she had loved when she was younger, happier, and more innocent. Tessa went home and got her bags packed. She would leave in a week. She had to work as much overtime as she could squeeze in. She would see her friend, but Jade had just started a job a few months ago, using her counseling degree at a nearby youth residential center. Cassidy was in Virginia visiting family. Kendal was at one of her end of the summer world tours trying to fill her passport before she ended up married and Phoebe wasn’t going out, she was too busy with Alex. She couldn’t blame her he was the perfect man. She spent time with Jake when she could. Out of all her siblings, she worried about him the most. He was a wild child just like she was and in love. He had graduated and moved in with his girlfriend... Tessa hoped he would be okay and secretly blamed herself for setting a bad example. ***. “Hey, what’s up?” Lucas asked when he answered the door. “I just wanted to stop and see how you were doing, check on your Meds and see how you were healing,” Tessa smiled. He was agitated and looked at her trying to figure something out. “Are you okay? Are you feeling alright?” She asked and felt his head. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he shook his head and looked upset. “Lucas, no you’re not what’s going on, are you okay?” “Tessa I have company,” he said, “Damn it, I’m sorry.” “No that's okay, I should have called first,” she said and quickly turned away, “I’m glad you’re feeling better, see you later.” “When?” he yelled his voice desperate. “I don’t know, but I will call first,” she opened the Jeep door. He ran out and grabbed her. “I’m sorry,” he said and hugged her, “Give me a few minutes I will get rid of her.” “No, Lucas it’s okay. It’s not who you are, but it’s who you want to be,” she smiled. “We’re friends, I’m perfectly fine with that.” “When do you leave?” “In a few days.” “I want to come with you.” “No Lucas you don’t and I don’t want you too.”
He hugged and kissed her, “I’m going to miss you.” “You will be fine, you always are,” she shut the door, and he watched her pull out. Lucas walked into the house and slammed the door. “Fuck!” he yelled. He walked into the bathroom and sat on the floor and quietly cried. There was a knock on the door. “You okay in there?” a female voice said. “Yes I’ll be up in a minute, get your ass ready I’m in rare form.” “Sound like fun,” she said. *** Tessa drove down the road and swallowed hard. Ouch, she thought and laughed. What did she expect him to try harder and make things better and go to therapy and stop being a whore? Yeah, that about covered it, but she knew better. Five years and he had broken her, loved her, and shattered her over and over again. The horrible thing was that she believed him every time and with each blow he threw she always bounced right back into his arms. Not this time. They had graduated from school, his dreams had all come true and she sat broken… again. She certainly didn’t need that anymore. But she couldn’t sit and wait for him to come and sweep her off her feet. She had to get the hell away from him. Walk through it, she thought and smiled to herself. Her phone chimed, and it was him and he was using the signature again - Tessa Ross, I want to see you… LL - Hey, Lucas are you physically ok?... Tessa - Yes, I need to see you… LL - Sorry, I’m really busy… Tessa Her phone rang. “Hi Lucas,” she said. “Hey, can we talk Tessa?” “Sure go ahead.” “I’m sorry,” she laughed, “Yeah I know, you’ve heard that before huh?” “I think I have. Hey, but at least it’s amusing to me now,” Tessa giggled “I wish I felt the same way,” he said softly. “Ok Lucas, I can’t do this anymore” she laughed, “I can’t keep trying to make this better for you. You need to realize that this isn’t love you’re feeling for me. You need me to want you; you need me to remind you of who you know you can be. And guess what Lucas,” her voice cracked, “I can’t do that for you anymore, and it is incredibly selfish for you to expect me too.” “Tessa you came here yesterday. I left you alone for a week, a whole week and you came here. So don’t kid yourself ok?” “Wow, I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. Okay, so I guess, I’m sorry?” She was surprised. “Okay, so I won’t again.” “No, that’s not what I mean, I mean we both need each other. We always have, Tessa,” he said sounding exasperated. “Lucas this is done, I won’t do this to myself or you anymore. Clean break okay?” Tessa said. “For now?” “I can’t Lucas and either can you.” “No! I can!” he said sternly.
“Lucas, someday we can be friends… like maybe a year from now. I’ve been doing very well. I honestly did come yesterday to see if you were doing alright, but after you had said what you did, I realize now that..” she started. “Okay, stop there. I don’t want to hear anymore Tessa. I’m not giving up and you can’t either.” “No, I am Lucas, I have. I am pretty sure I have proved that. I am pretty sure you should get it as well. We had amazing sex. But outside of that we, I don’t know, we thought we loved each other but...” she started. “Again Tessa, stop. We loved each other, I still love you.” She laughed, “Whatever gets you through. So when you are fucking whoever it is you are fucking, and you’re wrapped in their arms Lucas, do you still think you love me?” “Of course Tessa, I’ll always love you!” “Good to know, and so you know that was it for me,” she giggled. “I need to get going.” “No, what is that supposed to mean. I answered your question truthfully. I don’t know what you need or want me to say…” “No, you did great. I love your honesty Lucas. Now accept mine, we are done, I will not ever, listen carefully, ever be with someone who can fuck someone and claim they love me. That’s not enough for me, it wasn’t then and it never will be,” her voice was harsh, and tone clipped. “Well, what changed? You forgave me with Sadi and Jenny, and now you change?” “What the hell Lucas, you jackass, it was never ok. I was young and stupid, but I am pretty damned sure I never implied that it was okay!” “Fine… sorry,” he said. “Tessa I don’t know what you want from me.” “Are you smoking a lot lately because you are not STUPID Lucas!” she yelled. He laughed, “Whatever it takes to get through it right?” “Sure Lucas, get through it pal,” she snickered. “Can I see you before you leave?” “Nope.” “Why?” “I don’t want to see you.” “Yes you do,” he said softly. “No, Lucas I don’t, I’m sick that I let myself, you know what never mind. Please take care of yourself Lucas. Goodbye,” she said and hung up. *** Tessa went for a run with Leia. She ran to the top of the stairs and sat back and leaned on the rocks. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh fall air. I am so ready to move on, she thought. He is not my responsibility; he took care of himself when he was much younger he certainly can do it now. “Come on girl,” she said to Leia. They ran down the stairs and walked to the bridge. She walked and leaned over and smiled. “What are you doing Tessa?” she heard him from behind her. She looked back and saw Lucas walking towards her, Leia growled, “Sit.” “Hi,” he leaned over the edge of the bridge. “Hi.” “You look great.” “You too Lucas,” she went to walk past him, and he grabbed her arm and hugged her. She laughed. “What’s so funny?” “Nothing,” she laughed harder
“Why are you laughing?” “Because that’s the first time you have touched me, and I didn’t feel like I wanted to jump you.” He looked confused, “And that’s funny?” “No, it’s perfect.” “Really?” he kissed her neck. She laughed harder, “Seriously? It wasn’t a challenge.” “Tessa I want you here, again,” he said softly and pulled her lip with his teeth. “Oh okay,” she pulled away. “You know you miss me Tessa,” he purred. “No, actually I miss me more,” she stepped back. “I won’t see anyone else, I…” he started. “I promise I will never hurt you again, I’m sorry, I love you,” she said mockingly. “Really Tessa?” he sounded hurt. “Sorry, Lucas I’m going to get through this, and you bud are going to be just fine,” Tessa started to walk away and he grabbed her. “Tessa don’t…” “Don’t what Lucas?” she looked at him. “Don’t do this to us.” “Hey Lucas, I didn’t. I have given you a hundred excuses pick one and go with it! I’m fine, you’re moving on, a lot actually,” she laughed, “so you’ll be fine. I would love for you to be really happy someday Lucas, I really would. But I am responsible for me. I hope you get that,” Tessa smiled at him. “I love you Tessa.” “I know you think you do. I care very much for you Lucas if that’s not obvious remember the past five years that I lost myself wanting to make you happy. That should be proof enough,” she looked down. “I don’t know what to say Tessa,” he said, “I am not ready for you to move on.” She laughed, “Really, but it's okay for you too?” “It’s not okay, it’s who I am. It’s not who you are.” “Lucas Links, you were way better at this in high school. I know you loved me then. But four years later I’m no different from the others, except I am telling you no. That’s probably what your problem is.” “You are probably right, thirteen is an unlucky number Tessa, and look at all the shit you have put me through,” he said in anger. “Okay, so what are you going to throw at me now? My dead baby, dead dog, all the losses we have dealt with, everything that has happened to you in the past five years Lucas? All my fault I get it,” Tessa shook her head. “Sure… that’s a fucking start,” he yelled. “Lucas don’t, we’re adults now, don’t do this what will it prove?” “Is this fun for you?” “No, you… none of this has been fun. But finally I feel a little bit of hope, I haven’t even thrown up yet that’s a sign,” she laughed, “Look I don’t want to hate each other, that feels like such a waste of five years. Can’t we do this nicely?” “How the fuck does that happen?” “We decide it Lucas, I will if you can.” “Nope, I am not ready and you're fooling yourself Tessa Ross, you love me, and we would be married right now if...” he started. “I didn’t catch you in San Francisco while we were engaged, you had built us a home, we had finished school, and I was happily planning our wedding, knowing you were enough for me forever. Does that ring a bell Lucas? And it was all because I wanted to finish my last day of school or so that’s what you tell
yourself. If I can forgive so can you Lucas. If I can stand in front of you and tell you I will always love you just not the way you need or want me to because of all that, I don’t get why you can’t.” He looked at her and shook his head, “You’ll be back Tessa.” Tessa attached the leash to Leia and walked away and didn’t look back. *** Tessa went home and got in the hot tub and relaxed. Alex came over, “How are you doing, Tessa?” “Actually really good,” Tessa smiled. “I’m glad,” he looked over and saw Lucas pull in. “We have company.” “Tessa we need to talk” Lucas stormed over to her. “We already did Lucas.” “You going to be okay?” Alex asked. “Yes, I’m great,” Tessa smiled, and Alex walked away. “You can’t tell me you feel nothing.” “No, I feel lots of things Lucas,” she said tried not to laugh. “Let’s hear it Tessa,” he looked at her smugly like he used to when they fought. “You really don’t want to hear it Lucas,” she looked away. “Yes I do, or I wouldn’t be here.” “Okay, I feel good, relieved, and ready to move on.” “Who are you fucking Tessa?” he sneered at her. Tessa laughed, “Lucas I haven’t had sex in months, and I don’t need to. I am healing, and it actually feels good.” He looked confused, “I don’t get it.” “Okay, I see that, do you remember how you felt when you and I broke up before I got pregnant? When Jenny was on her knees Lucas?” “Yes it was awful,” he thought and looked down. “Okay, but you missed me and would have done anything to get me back right?” “Yes,” he looked at her. “We had two maybe three alright years then, you tried, and you loved me. You made me feel like I mattered and that you wanted only me. You haven’t done that again and I don’t feel like that anymore Lucas. I don’t need you to make me feel like I am worth something anymore. I wish you could see that you’re worth so much, and with or without me you are a good person. And Lucas you have not tried, you’re feelings have changed too.” “I want you back Tessa. I need you, don’t you leave me and don’t you do this to us,” Lucas glared at her. She got out and grabbed a towel, “I can’t do this Lucas, it hurt’s to see you hurt.” Tessa started to walk away and Lucas grabbed her. “Let go, do you need me to be a pile?” “Whatever it takes to make you come back,” he looked at her with deep anger in his eyes. “You’re not doing this right, remember when you told me that?” she asked. He shook his head, “Well right now I am telling you, that you’re not winning me back this way. I don’t want you like this, I don’t want you again the other way either. Damn it Lucas if you love me you should want me happy! Not fucking broken!” He was pissed and panicking, “I won’t ask again, it’s now or never!” She looked at him and smiled sadly, “Goodbye Lucas.” “Fuck you Tessa,” he yelled after her.
“Lucas, my parents, are around here somewhere, please stop?” “I don’t care,” he yelled and laughed. She turned and glared at him, “Grow up, just fucking grow up. You have changed Lucas, and it makes me sad for you.” “Yeah well, you have too,” he yelled. She turned around and walked up to him and hugged him, “Lucas find you please, find you.” She turned and walked away. “For us I will Tessa,” he yelled and walked to his SUV and left.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE “I’m going to the Cape,” Tessa sat on the back deck next to Maggie. “Ok, we can all go. We haven’t rented the house out until next May,” Maggie held Tessa’s hand. “Good to know. I’m going for a month Mom.” “Honey that’s a long time,” Maggie said softly. “I need it, I need to get away,” Tessa sat back and took a deep breath. “It's going to rain all next week; we can all go then and help you get settled?” Maggie had tears in her eyes. “Ok,” Tessa said softly. “Tessa he wasn’t the one. You’re going to find someone honey,” Maggie wiped away tears. Tessa knew her Mom held guilt about the choices Tessa had made during the family's split. “I left your father because I wasn’t in love with him anymore,” Maggie said softly, “I never stopped loving him or any of you.” “Mom, I know it’s not about that…” “Please let me talk Tessa,” Maggie swallowed hard. “I made those choices you didn’t,” Tessa rubbed her mother’s hand. “Your father and I loved each other immensely. When we dated, he was so attentive. He made me feel like I was the world, and in return I did the same for him. He was beautiful, kind and adored me. After we got married and bought the farm, we immediately had Molly. I gave everything I could to be the best mother and wife I could be. He worked very hard to support our family, but we drifted apart. I had all of you, and he had the farm. I took care of our children, and he was never around. We lost our connection. When you all went to school, he was still busy, and I was lonely. When I went to work after a year of arguing when we tried working together. He asked me if I wanted another baby. I was angry and hurt. I believed he felt I had not given enough to him. I tried to talk to him about not being in love anymore, and he was hurt and that hurt showed in anger. He looked at me differently. He didn’t even try Tessa. I reached out to him, and he was so angry he stopped talking to me. Someone at work told me I looked beautiful once, and that broke me,” Maggie said with tears in her eyes. “Dr….” Tessa started. “Yes Tessa, Dr. Feel good,” Maggie rolled her eyes. “Sorry Mom,” Tessa looked down. “No, that’s fine Tessa. I told your father I missed that. In desperation, I told him. I believed he would see me again. Well, he didn’t see anything but his wife as a cheat. I never let anything happen. Noah, the Doctor, would never have pushed me. Any way’s I could not see him look at me like that anymore, so I left. We never discussed anything he let me go. He did not fight for me. So I left. I had told him I would rather be alone than lonely with someone. I was serious and still would choose that over feeling the cold hugs, wondering where the kisses went, and sex….well I will spare you the details. When he bought a hot tub, I was angry. I had mentioned it many times and he would roll his eyes, so I move out, and he gets something I thought would help rekindle the spark we had lost,” Maggie was staring out into the back field. Tessa’s giggle caught her attention, “Well it works, I witnessed that spark first- hand Mom.” “Tessa Ann Ross!” Maggie snapped. “Well, I did,” Tessa smiled at her mother. “I knew that was his way of reaching out. I had gone on a few dates, and he was not John. It wasn’t
comfortable there was no passion. That was because I knew there would never be another John. I didn’t have relations with him. Every moment with him made me miss your father more. I’m telling you this Tessa because Lucas is not what you need. He would never be able to be with another if he were. You showed him the love he had never known, and I’m not talking about sex I’m talking about love. You need to accept that and be happy you left him better than when you met him. Ask yourself if you could ever truly trust him again. And could Lucas ever respect you enough to be faithful. Without trust and respect what will you ever have? I believe those two things were what your father and I never lost. You’re going to find someone who loves you and would never look at another, but not when you’re looking for him. My prayer for you is to heal, forgive him, forgive yourself, and open yourself up to receive love again,” Tessa and Maggie hugged. “I love you, Mom.” They sat on the deck sipping tea and reminiscing about the Cape until the sun went down.
A NOTE FROM MJ FIELDS I am very grateful to all who have taken the time to read Tessa and Lucas’s story. While we live and grow sometime, we have the guts to say enough is enough. We take chances and steps with the hope that we end up exactly where we are supposed to be. My hope is always to try to be better, a better friend, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, niece, and partner. And to do so with grace, dignity, and the knowledge that each step in my journey will lead me to who I am. To become without anger or resentments, always forgiving, knowing I too need forgiveness. To have loved and to have been loved is the greatest gift. A gift that should be re- gifted when the heart and soul heal. You never know what is just around the corner... Again I want to thank all those whose support has helped me through life and love. Laura, Karen, Stephanie, Suzanne, Tiffany, Taylor, Emily, Erica, Faye, and Mary. Your feedback was truly appreciated. I Love you all…Anyway. My promise to you is that you will be happy with Tessa’s choice and even continue to love Lucas… Anyway.
TRUE LOVE Book 4
CHAPTER ONE It was sunny, and eighty- five in early September in Upstate NY as Tessa Ross drove south on Interstate 81. She was finally taking a break and heading up to the house her family- owned: a gift from their Aunt’s estate after her death four years ago on the Cape. Seven hours to drive with just her dog Leia and her thoughts of what has happened over the past five years of her life. It's fine, Tessa thought to herself, I’ll be alright. She plugged her iPod into the Jeep and thumbed through until she found her strong girl playlist. How could anything be wrong when Abba was blasting and Dancing Queen was all around her? She pet her black shaggy Labradoodle and noticed how badly she needed a haircut. “Sorry girl, I should’ve thought about this last week, but we’ll find a place girl, a doggie spa that’ll make you the prettiest pooch on the Cape.” The phone rang, and it was Phoebe. They had been best friends since their senior year and now Phoebe was her sister in law. Tessa pushed the hands- free button, and the music stopped. “Hey Phoebe, what’s up?” “Not much, what have you been up to I haven’t talked to you in a week?” “Just busy, you know working a lot, what have you been up to?” Tessa asked. “Just hanging out, have you talked to Lucas?” Ouch, that hurt, she could feel the heat in her throat moving up. “I talked to him yesterday… he’s doing alright, he seems to think he’s going to change and fix us,” Tessa gave a forced laugh and continued, “but that’s why we’re here. That among other things, but it is what it is.” “Hey, you know you didn’t have to send me money. I know it wasn’t your plan to call the wedding off.” Tessa knew she didn’t have to send her attendants money, but there was no way she would have felt alright with them having paid for the dress and shoes they bought to wear once. “Well, I thought I could buy them from you, you know have a big party when I get home from my vacation. We certainly could use something to start the bonfire with.” Tessa and Phoebe both laughed, “Vacation? Where did you decide?” Phoebe asked. Tessa laughed as she remembered that she hadn’t even told her Mom she was leaving today. “I am on my way to Cape Cod. Leia and I are on 81 about to get on 88, headed to the house. There and no one is going to be there all month, I just needed to get away you know.” “Wow… a month, huh? You sure you can afford that?” Tess knew she was asking out of concern, “I don’t have any bills — Phoebe.” Or anything else, “I’m going to be fine; I’ve been saving for a year now. Slamming the overtime lately so I’ll be fine for a few weeks, as long as I avoid too much retail therapy.” Phoebe knew that Tessa used humor to get through many of life’s uncomfortable situations. “Tessa I’m here for you, I know we haven’t talked this week, but I have been thinking about you. I want you to know I love you, and I think you made the right decision,” Phoebe said sweetly. Tessa responded softly, “Thank you I know you’re here, I know you’re busy too. Hey, if you need to get away I’m just a seven- hour drive.” “Hmm… with Alex working on the farm and me taking online courses I just may take you up on that. But you know… I do have baggage,” Phoebe rubbed her pregnant belly as she laughed. “You should
probably ask Jade.” Tessa laughed, “Maybe we could make it a girls getaway. You guys could swing by the farm and grab my gown, and bring yours along. We could go out all dressed up in them and then come back to Aunt Ann’s’ place and jump in the ocean in them. You know mess the dress, maybe we could have Laura come up and take photos.” “Hey Phoebe… I have to start paying attention to where I’m going so I will talk to you soon ok? Oh and my parents think I am headed here on Monday so don’t mention it to Alex ok? I just wanted to avoid the emotional see you soon.” Phoebe promised her lips were sealed. They briefly talked about making some sort of plan. As Tessa was exiting to get on 88 south, they hung up and Aretha’s RESPECT blasted through the car. Tessa laughed and patted Leia “Five more hours’ girl, and we’ll be there.” Phoebe got off the phone and tears formed in her beautiful green eyes. She could not believe what was happening to Tessa. She wanted to kick Lucas right in the balls for what he’d done to her friend, her sister. She was thankful she was pregnant because if not she would probably wind up in jail! Calm down she said to herself as she rubbed her stomach, just 8 weeks and she’ll be ready to meet this little bundle of joy in her belly. She was a little concerned that Tessa may not be emotionally ready to coach her during labor. Oh, boy …or girl. She walked into the room that was decorated in tan and light green, no paintings or border yet. A chair rail was on the wall opposite the dark cherry crib with the space above waiting for a border that will give the room gender identification. Tessa turned up the radio as she got on the I- 90 Massachusetts Turnpike. Pearl Jam filled the car. “Ok Leia… we need to pull off soon and find a place for us both to go to the bathroom and get you a drink, half an hour tops,” she promised her faithful companion. Tessa started singing along with Eddie Vedor. “Everything has changed absolutely nothings’ changed, so true!” I should be moving to Seattle. Yeah… about four years ago when Lucas was in his dorm room with Jenny sucking him off. Nothing As It Seems played, and she continued to drive. Leia whined, and Tessa realized it had been over an hour since she promised her furry friend they would pull over. Tessa pulled into a rest stop, and they got out. She walked Leia around and finally Leia settled on a place to do her business. Tessa cleaned up after her and realized this is not something either of them was used too. At home, Leia would go to the wooded property edge, not attached to a leash. “Lots of changes ahead girl, but we’ll adjust together. We mean, bitter, bitches.” Tessa opened the back of the jeep and put Leia in and opened a bottle of water pouring it carefully into her dish so that it wouldn’t spill. She walked into the building and towards the restroom. Tessa hated public toilets, probably because her Grandmother’s always wiped down and lined them and talked about all the germs and diseases she could get if her backside touched the seat even for a second. As she stood above the toilet, she was envious of Leia, this would be easier if I were on four legs. She flushed the toilet with her foot and grabbed some paper towels, putting them under her arm so she could wash her hands, dry them off, shut off the water and open the door without getting nasty germs on them. “Love you Grandma Mary and Grandma Martha, you taught me well!” she whispered as she left the restroom and deposited the paper towels in the garbage outside. It was nearing seven PM, Leia and Tessa had just about had enough of the road trip. The GPS spoke the directions, and Tessa listened intently. About 30 miles from MA 25E and then about half an hour from their destination. Traffic wasn’t that busy and Tessa was glad she had timed it so that she would avoid rush hour and her planning was impeccable for a Thursday arrival. She decided to phone Kendall to let her know she was almost there.
“Hey, we are about 30 miles from Ann’s place on the Cape,” Tessa sang to her younger sister. “When did you leave?” Kendall was a feisty blonde, as were all of her siblings. She had crystal blue eyes and lived life to its fullest. Kendall loved to travel. She planned to take yearly trips to some pretty amazing places. Australia was her first. Tessa’s family had inherited the Cape House when Ann had passed away. They loved the beach and planned to visit when they had long weekends. Tessa traveled too much with Lucas to have the time to come with her family. This was the first time she had been to the Cape since her beloved Ann died. Her family rented the house and made enough to pay the property taxes and maintain it so that people would want to continue renting, year after year. “I left about 7 hours ago, decided to not sit around and wait until Monday, which I planned perfectly since the traffic is great right now. I was wondering if you could text me the security code.” Kendall sent the code to Tessa’s cell, and they chatted making plans for Kendall to come and hang out for a weekend. She missed her family; although she had been living home since the breakup, she worked too much to really enjoy them enough. Ever since she could remember, she’d been on Lucas’s schedule. He was not blatantly controlling, but his mood worsened when he was asked to do family things instead of hanging with his teammates or friends. Unless of course he felt he was losing her. Tessa hoped they would all come up soon, it would be nice to be with them. She found the house wasn’t exactly as she remembered; each time someone visited they made some sort of improvement. Tessa pulled into the parking area in front of the houses. The parking lot was shared with the neighboring homes. Leia jumped out. They walked to the door with a couple bags in arm and walked into the back porch. It was the entire length of the house, about 50 feet and all screened in. They opened the door, and Tessa knew immediately that this would be a perfect place for Leia to lounge when she needed to run out and do errands. “Wow Leia, look at this, we won’t need to put you in a cage when I need to give you some big girl time,” Leia wagged her tail and sniffed around. She seemed pretty happy. Tessa punched in the code she laughed as she did knowing where this combination of letters and numbers must have come from. They entered and saw how much the place had changed since Ann had passed away. She immediately knew things were going to be fine, it still felt good being here. The floors were tiled in the huge kitchen to the left, to the right a study and a bathroom. The study used to be Ann’s room. The entire floor plan had been opened up. The kitchen was stainless with white cabinets and granite countertops that looked like slate. There was a large island with a stove top and small sink, opposite them was seating for five people which opened up to the dining room, which opened to the enormous living room with a beautiful fireplace. Tessa looked past the living room and saw the most amazing scene. Off of the Living room, there was a patio area that was about thirty feet deep. It had been just a small deck before. Off of the black concrete stamped patio, a yard that was about thirty feet in size was all fenced in with a white picket fence. A small gate lead to the beach, this was new as well, Tessa thought. “Let's go Miss Leia; you’re going to love this!” They walked out and saw the outdoor kitchen with beautiful Adirondack furniture scattered everywhere. There was not a soul on the beach, very private, and as beautiful as ever. Tessa opened the gate, and they walked to the water. The sun was going down, and she stood in awe of this beautiful, peaceful scene. What a blessing this place is, and always had been, a perfect place to heal. Tessa yelled “Jump in, girl!” Leia was off like a light, she ran to the water and splashed around she seemed SO happy to be here. All the splashing reminded her that she needed to use the bathroom. They walked to the yard, and Leia shook off and began sniffing around. Tessa latched the gate and walked up the yard to the patio. As she
entered the house, she realized that the center of the second floor had been opened and had a balcony. There were four other good size rooms and, of course, the center room which was the master bedroom. The master bedroom balcony faced an entire wall of windows that looked out over the beautiful Atlantic Ocean. To the left, a lighthouse on a peninsula of rock not far from here. Tessa entered the master bathroom and looked in the mirror. Her hair was all pulled back into a very sloppy bun held together with a large black clip. Her makeup was worn, and a bit smudged. She wiped it with her ring finger; she looked down at it and saw the light indentation that she wore like a scar. It’s going to heal she thought it’ll be fine. She released her blonde hair from her clip, and it hung to the middle of her back. She combed it with her fingers, as the long waves relaxed, she felt the tension release from her scalp. “Ok girl… let's grab our stuff from the Jeep, I bet you’re hungry, huh?” Tessa and Leia walked to the back of the house, and she saw a small black convertible sports car pull in. Through the window, she saw they driver hit the steering wheel as if he was angry. Leia barked and distracted her from the man in the car. Tessa was throwing on her shoes when she heard a knock at the door, she jumped and her overly protective pal growled and barked. She opened the door and was face to face with the man from the car. They stared at one another for a moment in uncomfortable silence that broke when Tessa could no longer stop herself from smiling, he was beautiful. “May I help you?” Damn he was cute, brown messy hair shaped his chiseled face and square jaw. “Hello, I’m Collin, and I think you’re in my parking spot, do you drive the navy Jeep?” “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize…” Collin was clearly uncomfortable. He loosened his tie and cleared his throat stopping Tessa midsentence. “Yours is second- row third over,” he very quickly turned to walk away. “Alright, I was just going out to grab some things, I’ll move it now,” Tessa talked to his back. She wasn’t sure if he’d heard her, and when she glanced at him walking away her eyes froze on his backside, Good Lord. She grabbed her keys as she walked out the door. She patted Leia’s head and told her to stay. Collin was in his car and sat back and ran his fingers through his brown hair. Tessa watched him as she pushed the button unlocking the Jeep and got in to move it. Thinking he was attractive was clearly an understatement. He was beautiful, perfect actually. She wondered what his eyes looked like behind the dark aviator glasses he sported. It had been awhile since she had looked at a man other than Lucas and had these thoughts. Must have been the long drive listening to all those high school songs, and remembering the old days. She knew that what she needed was not to fill the hurt with fantasies about the vision in the black sports car. Tessa jumped out and grabbed the rest of her things, and went inside. *** Collin walked into his house and wondered how long this one was staying; people had been in and out since the beginning of May. The new owner he had only met once, and she seemed pretty cool, but this revolving door… was for the birds. He threw his keys on his entry table and walked into his sprawling kitchen. He wondered what Joan had left for dinner tonight. Joan was his housekeeper. He traveled a lot for business, and when he was in town she kept the fridge stocked with meals that he could just warm up when he returned home from the hospital, or overseas. He was just twenty- seven and had already revolutionized the health care industry. He had invented a drug that helped people with cancer deal better with the side effects from chemotherapy and was now
working on security and health for third world countries. He graduated from high school at 17 and completed his bachelor’s in two and a half years. He had just been honorably discharged from the Navy with his MD. His troubled youth and family life made him focus on his studies. He had relationships, but none that lasted any longer than two months. He made it very clear to anyone he’d ever touched that he was going to put his studies and work first, he would see them when he could. Collin loved sex and was damn good at it, he knew this. He could please women and made it his mission to make sure they were satisfied before he finished. When they wanted to stay the night, he reminded them that he needed to study or work and that he was not relationship material. One might think this would drive women away, but it didn’t, they tried even harder to keep up with him. Women were easy; they were drawn to him first because of his looks, and second because of the chase. He watched his mother, a drug addict; bring men in and out of their home. It was always the same: she would come home drunk or high with a new guy at least once a month. Those who stayed were there in the morning and would get breakfast and treated as if they were a king. This would last about a week, a month at the most and eventually there would be an argument always involving alcohol or drugs, and he would leave. She would sit on the couch for days, speaking as few words as she could, chain smoking, and crying. The ones who came and left before dawn and didn’t stay for breakfast didn’t have the same effect on her. She could function, and it was usually a tolerable week. Those times when she acted like a real mother and not the woman who stumbled over herself to please a house guest didn’t last long. There were very few that were ever asked to return. As soon as she had received what she was after, be it drugs or money, they were gone. Collin’s favorites were flight attendants, women he met away on business, once in awhile the tenants from next door who came and left within a week, and those who wanted no strings. By his second year in med school, he could pretty much figure out who was who before he ever put a finger on them. Tonight it was Amber, a flight attendant that he had been in contact with for about a year, they were good together. She was kinky as shit, dark hair and legs that went on forever. She never stayed, and after several hours of play time, she would leave and let him know when she may be back in town again. Tessa wasn’t big on casual drinking. She never really enjoyed alcohol, she used it to let loose. She was on vacation and decided to pop open a bottle of Doobie Blues, and hang out on the patio with her dog tonight. She set her iPod up on the Bose and turned on Pearl Jam. She loved listening to the live version from a concert she had attended. She closed her eyes as she sat reclined in her chair as she hugged her knees and looked out at the water with Leia, lying faithfully at the foot of her chair. She must have been tired because she fell asleep out in the fresh Ocean air. Collin couldn’t stop thinking about the new tenant and sort of wished that Amber wasn’t coming in tonight. There was something about the new girl next door. She smiled at him when he was short; she wasn’t rude like the natives and normal tourists that he encountered lately. He even felt at a loss for words, which had never happened before. She was beautiful, that long, blonde, wavy hair and those gorgeous blue eyes that looked like a reflection of the ocean on the calmest, clear, sunny day. As he ate his chicken parmesan, he couldn’t help his thoughts from returning to her. She had a hot body that he had a chance to admire as she walked out to move her Jeep. He stared at her full perky breasts and a round ass that looked like he could bounce a quarter off of. He thought about her as he walked into the bathroom to shower before Amber came over. It had been a week since he’d had sex, and as usual, he wanted to ensure he had enough stamina to keep up with the very hungry Amber. He did his normal routine in the shower and jerked off to the picture in his mind of the tenant with great tits. Now he could outlast Amber, for sure. When Amber came into Collin’s, she wore a black coat that hung just above her knees. She had heels and black stockings on. Collin opened the door and let her in. He took her hand and kissed it as she walked in the door. He grabbed her and turned her, so she was facing the wall. He took the coat off of her
to reveal the black corset and garter belt that she wore to hold up the stockings. He gently pushed her against the wall and spread her legs with his knee. Amber gasped and knew that she was in for one hell of a night. He rubbed his finger against her and felt that she was already wet. He licked his lips and whispered, “Ready so soon?” He turned her back around and pointed down. She slowly went down on her knees and was face to face with what she’d been fantasizing about all day long. He was huge, and his girth was very impressive. She released him from his white linen pajama pants as she licked her lips. She was always so hungry when she arrived. He slowly walked backward as she followed him on her knees pleasuring him. He opened the door to his deck, and they made their way outside. She looked up at him with her mouth full, and he put his finger to his mouth so that she knew it had to be quiet. He knew that this could take forever since he had just released this week’s pent up frustrations in the shower, so he let her go to it. After several minutes he was still not as hard as usual, he looked at the kitchen window next door hoping to see the tenant through it. He pulled and pushed her head in and out as she sucked his massive tool. Tessa woke from her slumber and looked up to the lighthouse. She watched as the light moved and shown all around her new neighborhood. It was beautiful. She looked to her left and saw Collin standing on his porch his head tilted back as if he was looking at the sky. He was beautiful: his skin bare, sculpted like a model from the window at Hollister. The rays from the lighthouse moved past him, and she could only see his shadow now. A woman emerged from behind the railing, oh my God, she thought. She felt like a voyeur as she stood trying to quietly sneak into her house. She startled her dog, and Leia barked. Crap she thought, “Shh girl… let’s go inside it’s alright.” It was very dark outside, and she fell as she tripped over the bottle of wine she had left sitting to the side of her chair, making a loud noise in this very silent night. Damn it! Her movement caused the motion sensor to kick on the lights on the side of the patio. No way, she thought. She felt her face turn crimson red as she saw his shadow and that of the woman on the deck next door. Unbelievable, his lips curled up into a smile as he pointed to his door, the woman ran inside, she was laughing. He turned to Tessa and in a deep husky voice he said, “Goodnight.” Tessa didn’t respond but turned her back to her neighbor and hurried Leia into the house. The audacity of that man! Seriously on the deck with his neighbor 30 feet away! Tessa heard a car start and pull out of the parking lot. She grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down followed by two more. She didn’t want to wake up in the morning feeling awful, so she took a couple ibuprofen as well. She made her way up the stairs and walked into the master bedroom. She grabbed a tee shirt out of her bag and threw it on. She made a mental note that it was to be given to good will, it was Lucas’ and she no longer wanted it. She patted the bed and Leia happily jumped up and snuggled in next to her. She said her prayers and fell fast asleep.
CHAPTER TWO Tessa and Leia rose early in the morning. In preparation for her wedding, Tessa had lost twenty pounds by simply walking or running every morning. She now looked at this as a release, something she needed to do. She wouldn’t let herself get back to feeling insecure about her body. She looked better than she did in high school, and felt better too. She dug through her bag and grabbed her sports bra and shoved the girls in. They hadn’t changed with her weight, and she could thank her grandmother for that. She threw on a tee, some running shorts and put her wild hair up in a sloppy bun. She brushed her teeth and threw on her running shoes. Leia was tap dancing excitedly on the tile floor knowing that she was going for her morning run. They walked out the back door and started down to the beach. As she turned left and began to jog, she saw him coming up from behind. Oh great, she thought as she picked up the pace so she could avoid what she knew would be an entirely awkward moment. Leia was also aware that he was there, and she barked her fool head off. She growled and turned around, slowing Tessa down, damn it, she thought not him, girl — let’s go, she turned to tug at the leash and tripped falling over a piece of driftwood. She fell flat on her butt, and as she looked up he was standing over her, his hand was extended offering her help up. “Good morning,” Collin was trying not to smile. “Yeah, you too,” Tessa mumbled as she stood refusing his hand. Leia took this opportunity to take off for the water; Tessa turned to sprint after her and stumbled as she felt the pain shoot up her ankle. He grabbed her before she fell and pulled her into him. What was that, she thought as she quickly pulled away from him, she had felt a shock move through the arm he grabbed. “You okay?” he smiled as he released her. “Yes thanks,” she couldn't believe it, it was so embarrassing to have just fallen twice in front of this man. Quickly she realized that Leia was missing. Tessa looked all around and then watched as Leia was running and splashing in the Atlantic Ocean. A sheer look of panic struck as she watched her dog swimming farther and farther into the water. Leia had never been in the water that deep, she started to run, but the pain in her ankle was so sharp that she fell again. Collin followed her eyes to the direction that was causing her alarm. He saw the dog was getting deeper into the ocean; he kicked off his shoes, tore off his shirt and ran towards the dog. “Be careful — she may not react the way you expect!” Collin had reached Leia and grabbed her around her middle. They made it to shore and Leia shook off and began barking and jumping around facing him. He bent down and patted her. He laughed and told her to come, and she followed him back to the beach where Tessa watched in amazement. Tessa couldn’t believe her eyes. Leia had actually let someone touch her! They walked back to Tessa; she stood, this time she let him assist her by grabbing his outstretched hand. She tried to hop, and it was difficult in the sand so she lifted her foot leaning on Collin and started to jump on one foot towards her place. He laughed at her, “I know you don't want my help, but you're going to have to take it,” he pulled her up into his arms and carried her. He felt her body tense and shake slightly. Tessa was embarrassed by her reaction. He looked down and saw her scrunch her eyes shut. She fit perfectly into his arms, it felt good. Comfortable. And it didn’t make her happy. Leia followed behind not afraid of this man, they were now friends.
CHAPTER THREE Collin opened the small white gate to the patio and latched it behind them. He set her down on the chaise lounge and walked to the glass doors that led into the house. The door was locked. “I’m going to get you some ice, what’s the code?’ Without hesitation, she told him. Something about him made her feel safe. There was a softness about him, and if Leia trusted him… she knew she could. He opened the freezer and filled the dish towel with ice. Her phone rang it was the Star Wars theme song; he grabbed it as he walked out the door. “For you,” he handing her the phone. As she answered, he put the ice on her ankle. “Damn that hurts,” escaped her mouth before she could say hello. “What’s going in Tessa? Everything ok?” It was her sister Kendall. Tessa overwhelmed felt tears well up in her eyes. She was unable to answer with anything but “Uh huh.” Collin reached for her phone, “May I?” she shook her head yes. “Hello, this is Collin who am I speaking to?” he listened and smiled. “Kendall yep that's me, your Tenant…” Collin paused and listened. “Oh ok. Your sister was going for a run and well long story short she ended up on her bottom and twisted her ankle pretty good... No, I’m sure it's not broke probably sprained. She’s in a bit of pain...yes I have some pain meds, might make her tired but should help.... No problem.... Yes, here she is.” He handed her the phone and mouthed I’ll be right back and pointed to his house leaving Tessa alone to talk to his sister as he fetched the Meds. Leia followed him. “Hey sorry, no I’m fine…Seriously? No, that sounds great, everyone’s coming? Wow –good. I may be in the need of pampering by my sisters and brothers,” she laughed “Ok see you in a few hours, drive careful, I love you.” Tessa was glad they were coming; it would be loud, busy and fun for the weekend. Kendall was driving up now and should be here in five hours. Collin returned with some Meds in his hand, “These will make you feel better.” Tessa looked at him and laughed, “Just to warn you I’m not good with drugs.” “These will make you a bit slower. It’s a muscle relaxer and a high dose ibuprofen,” he handed them to her with a glass of water. Tessa swallowed them down, and he sat in a chair next to her. Leia put her head on his lap and he pet her furry head. Tessa figured the least she could do is make conversation. “So thank you for your help, I really appreciate it. My sister will be here in a few hours and the rest of my family will all be here as well. I’m sure we’ll be a bit loud and possibly a bit obnoxious over here, so you should feel free to come over and have dinner with us. You can bring your girlfriend if you’d like.” He smirked “Thanks for the invite, I’ll check my schedule.” Tessa sat quietly as she tried to figure out what to say next. She couldn’t read him, and it drove her crazy! She still had not been able to see his eyes; he sported those shades every time she saw him. She decided to look out over the ocean so that she might not feel so uncomfortable. She could feel his eyes, well his shades, burning a hole through her. “Would you like a drink? You could grab a beer out of the fridge.” “No, I’m good,” he sat back and drank the water he had brought over. “I don’t want to keep you from anything — I’m feeling better, thank you,” Tessa’s head felt a little
heavier. “I think I’ll hang out to see how those pills affect you. Wouldn’t want to leave you here alone. You might try get up and end up falling on your ass again,” he smiled. Damn, even his teeth are perfect she thought. Tessa sat and couldn’t believe how she was feeling, her face was hot, her head felt heavy, and her eyes were not easily focusing anymore. “How are you feeling?” Collin asked with true concern in his voice. “Like crap,” Tessa blurted out. Oh, I can’t believe I just said that, but she couldn’t stop what was rolling off of her tongue. “I haven’t drank in a month, and I feel like I’ve been doing shots. My ankle is throbbing, but I really don’t care, and these clothes are bugging me, how are you feeling?” Collin laughed out loud, “I’m good. I’m going to run over home and grab a hat.” Tessa laid back and watched that dog follow him over again. She woke when he lifted the ice from her ankle. He was wearing a white baseball cap that had the Red Sox emblem on it. He looked even hotter with that hat on, but the Sox? Maybe he wasn’t perfect. He brought over a plate of fruit and cheese and said she should eat some as he walked into the house to get fresh ice. “I’m going to put this on your ankle,” Collin said as he gently placed it. Tessa laughed and popped a grape into her mouth. “That tickles — I think. I need to go inside for a minute,” she giggled and pushed the ice off and was standing up before he could argue. She stood alone, he stood and made sure when she fell, again, he could catch her. She slowly moved between pieces of furniture until she came to the door. She opened it and nearly fell; she caught herself and stopped for a minute. She made her way to the bathroom and shut the door; she started the bath, and finally removed her sports bra that had been cutting into her for what seemed like hours. Collin stood by the door annoyed. He leaned against the wall and waited until he heard her get into the bath. Was she really doing this right now? He felt uncomfortable, frustrated actually. He wanted to yell at her for being so careless, the girl was clumsy, and now hopped up on pain pills she was taking a bath. Maybe she had plans, he certainly hoped so, she was hot. Bronze skin and pedicured feet, her hair long and blonde, and her eyes crystal blue. Her body was tight, and breasts full, he would love to get his hands among other things on them. He wondered if she would like to play without strings. He heard her begin to splash around, and he wondered if she was alright. Tessa grabbed a towel and wrapped her hair; she brushed her teeth and put away her toothbrush. She grabbed her dirty clothes and wrapped a towel around herself. She was high as a kite and began to laugh out loud. “You alright in there?” “Oh damn,” Tessa had forgotten he was still here; she began to laugh again, “Yep, just great.” Tessa removed her hair from the towel and shook it a bit. “Um Collin, can I ask you for a favor? Could you not look when I come out, please?” He replied, “Fine.” Tessa hopped out of the bathroom feeling refreshed, she saw him leaning against the wall looking in the other direction. She hopped until she reached the stairs. She decided she would crawl; she turned to see if he was looking and his back was still turned. She continued up the stairs on all fours as he turned, damn, on all fours his jaw clenched. He grew agitated and finally, “Seriously you need to just lie down and quit messing around.” He stomped towards the stairs, and she stopped, and looked at him and began to laugh. “Really? I’m just trying to get some clothes on, buddy, I forgot you were here. If I’m annoying, maybe you should march your perfect ass home. Your girlfriend may not like you being over here helping the
clumsy naked chick from next door,” Tessa laughed. She was so frustrating! He thought. He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder and marched up the stairs. “Your stuff in the master bedroom?” he asked with a dark tone in his voice. “Why yes it actually is, it’s this…” she laughed as began to tell him where it was. “I know where it is,” he interrupted. He dropped her on the bed and started going through her bags that were still packed. He threw her a shirt and some shorts and even grabbed her panties and bra. She was speechless, and a little intimidated by him. He grabbed her shirt and shoved it over her head, and she quickly put her arms through the holes. He grabbed her panties, and she started to object and he glared, “Don’t.” He pulled them to her knees and followed them with a pair of boxer- style shorts. “I think you can get it from here,” he turned his back. She was so annoyed — embarrassed she yelled, “Maybe I don’t want to wear this!” As soon as the words escaped her mouth she felt like a three- year- old. She put her hand over her mouth. Collin turned, “I don’t care just put them on…or I will!” She gasped, and he pulled her shorts up, she was so angry. She stood up and began to walk out she started to fall again and he grabbed her and pulled her inches from his face. “You're staying here, you’re going to rest. You’re going to heal so help me God, or I’ll bend you over my knee and…” he stopped when he noticed how big her eyes got. Tessa was breathing hard and in shock, not the way she would have thought, but shocked because it was kind of a turn on. He noticed her eyes and closed his and leaned in so that their foreheads touched. “You’re a pain in the ass,” he lifted her up and walked to the bed. He pulled the blankets down and gently laid her in bed. The room was spinning, and he could see that her eyes were getting extremely heavy. “Perfect ass, huh?” he pulled the covers over her. “Yep, I’m sure you knew that already. I’m sure I’m about to fall asleep. Could you do me one last favor?” he shook his head yes. “Takeoff those damn glasses; I haven’t been able to see your eyes. I want to know if they match the rest of you,” she reached up and pulled them slowly off of him. “You’re gorgeous.” With that, her eyes closed, and head began to nod. He laid her back down and propped her foot. He knew she would be out for a few hours he leaned down to tuck her in; she pulled his arm around her and rolled to her side. He didn’t fight it, he lay next to her. He smelled her hair and breathed her in. Damn it, he thought and eventually he fell asleep. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he woke up. The clock said five PM. He tried to pull his arm out of her clutches, and she moved slightly and in her sleep spoke. “It’s going to be alright now,” and she fell into a deeper sleep. He lay looking at her with his arms pulled tightly across her body. She was beautiful. She pulled his arm tighter across her chest, nuzzling her backside against his pelvic area. Seriously this is not happening, he laid his head on the pillow, and she rolled into him a bit, fully relaxed. He watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath, he closed his eyes and waited for his escape. *** They both woke to Leia barking. Oh, shit he thought he felt her startle beneath his arm. What the hell had he done, he never napped and here he was doing it with this girl he’d just met a few hours ago. He could feel her tense up and he took in one last deep breath of her very sweet smell. She started trying to slide out from under his arm and wondered what the heck had happened. As she slid from under him, she
felt him ease up, and they both sat up and stared at each other briefly before they heard Kendall. “Who’s a good girl, who’s a good girl,” they heard Leia's nails tapping as she danced around in the tile floor downstairs. They heard the back door open as Kendall and Leia walked out onto the patio. Again, their gaze met each other. “Are you feeling any better?” he asked breaking the silence. “My ankle still hurts, and my head is very foggy, how did we end up in here?” She blurted out. She could see his body stiffen as he stood. “You decided to take a bath and tried to make it up the stairs; I carried you because you were” he stopped, “not being a good patient. We got you dressed, and I helped you into bed. You passed out and grabbed my arm, talked about my perfect ass,” he smirked knowing he was making her uncomfortable, “I guess we both fell asleep until your dog barked.” Tessa looked at him with a question in her eyes as she tried to stand he grabbed her arm so that she wouldn’t fall and whispered in her ear. “If something happened with us, you would remember… trust me,” he said trying not to smile. “Well Collin, I thank you for helping me out,” damn his eyes are blue, she thought “I’m sure it'll all come back to me.” *** He helped her hop down the stairs, and they walked out to meet Kendall. Kendall smirked at them, “How’re you feeling?” Tessa scowled and replied, “Fine.” Collin interrupted “I’m sure it’s not broken, or she would be in a lot more pain. I gave her pain meds that well, made her a bit loopy, tired and a real pain in the ass.” Kendall laughed, “That’s not the pain meds… she’s always been a pain in the ass.” They both laughed, and Tess scowled at them. “Our family will be here in an hour or so. I stopped and grabbed some lobsters if you don’t have plans you should come back and hang out tonight,” Kendall said, “That’s the least we could do. You did take care of our little Tessa.” Collin walked into his house and saw his phone, he had three missed calls and several messages he had missed since he had gone out to take his late morning run. He thumbed through his phone and saw that Amber had left a message and texted him as well. He decided to text her back. - something’s come up, and I’m not going to be able to see you tonight. Amber replied, - ok I won’t be back around for a month, hopeful that we can “get together” again then. I hope you're feeling better, after being sent away last night before things even got started, I wonder if it was me or you were really ill. That was it, uncomplicated and easy… just how he liked it. He checked his email and saw his itinerary for his trip next month. He’d be gone for five weeks in Ecuador, training and helping at one of the small villages and hospitals he helped build and fund. He always loved going away to new sites and seeing old “friends.” For now, a month at home hanging out sounded good, real good now. He could finish up his next paper, and it would be published before he returned from Ecuador. He sat back and ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his nose. He could still smell her on his hands, she was so damn distracting! He threw his shoes back on and went out the back door to take a run. Leia was barking at the gate jumping around when she saw Collin. He leaned over and
patted her head; he saw Kendall and Tessa sitting on the patio. “She loves you,” Kendall said, “I think she wants to go with you.” Collin laughed, “Sounds good if it’s all right with her.” Tessa looked down and could feel her face flush. “Sure, her leash is on the fence post,” she waved dismissively. He opened the gate, and she sat as he attached the leash and they were off like a light. Kendall looked at Tess and said “You certainly are short with him, what’s up with that?” “He’s arrogant,” Tessa responded and realized her face was heating up. Kendall laughed, “Yeah, but he’s hot, might be the distraction you need right now!” “Kendall really, I don’t think so!” she laughed “Besides I’m more than sure he has a girlfriend.” “No Tessa, Collin doesn’t do relationships,” she said. “I’ve been here a hand full of times and have seen only a couple women leave there, I asked about his girlfriend once, and he told me he didn’t have time for those. Just occasional friends.” Tessa felt her jaw drop “Are you one of them?” “Seriously Tessa did you really just ask me that? Mom would have my ass!” Kendall laughed. “And you’re trying to hook me up when you know it’s wrong? Mom will have your ass for that, too,” Tessa laughed. “Well, I just figured one of us should check it out and report back, you know live vicariously through each other, and you’re already tainted,” she said laughing. Kendall ducked to avoid getting a pillow to her head, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I could kick your butt and run, and no matter how fast you hopped, you couldn’t catch me.” They laughed. “I’m going to unload the car; will you be okay without me for a minute?” Kendall laughed as she walked through the door. Tessa was alone and grabbed the remote to turn on the tunes. Sirius 90’s channel. Hard Knock Life by Jay- Z was on; funny that was always one of her favorite songs but from Annie, not the rap version. She laid back to enjoy the evening heat and listen to some music. Her head felt fine now, and she was remembering some of the events that happened earlier. Sublime’s “What I Got” played, and she laughed at how silly the song was. The line about the dog running away made her laugh. Tessa heard Kendall talking and realized the rest of the family must be here, too. She was overcome by a feeling like everything in the world would be ok. Alex and Phoebe came in, and Jake brought his girlfriend. Molly and Cory, her other sister, the oldest of the five, and niece Sydney walked out to the patio. Sydney ran and jumped on her lap, and they hugged. Kendall waved Collin over. He saw the gang all hanging out on the patio, and Tessa simply looking like she was in heaven as she held the beautiful blonde haired little girl with the big blue eyes that matched hers. Collin felt a lump in his stomach and wondered if this little cherub was hers. Leia ran and jumped on Tessa’s chair; the little blonde girl laughed and hugged her. Tessa looked up at him and smiled, “Thank you.” She looked even more beautiful sitting there than he had remembered. She was surrounded by everything she loved, her safe people. They softened her, he thought. Jake, her brother, came running out of the house, playing his air guitar to the song, “Remember this concert Tessa? You took me when I was in high school to the Finger Lakes Performing Art center; I skipped school. Wonder if Mom and Dad know about that.” Jake was then aware that there was company, and he reached out his hand. “Hey man, I’m Jake,” he said with a warm, inviting smile. Collin shook his hand and introduced himself. Jake offered him a beer, and he obliged. They chatted for a few minutes. Kendall interrupted, and she and Collin walked over to his place.
Maggie and John came in, carrying a huge cooler filled with drinks and salads. They hugged Tessa and the other kids and went into the kitchen to put things away. John went over to the fire pit and met Kendall and Collin as they walked back over with wood. Tessa sat almost pouting as they set up the volleyball net and drank. She saw Collin turn towards her several times throughout the night. He was so handsome and at ease with this family. One she loved with everything she was. One that she had neglected while she was caught up with Lucas. Molly sat next to Tessa as they colored in a coloring book with Sydney. They watched as the guys and girls played volleyball. Molly laughed as she looked at Tessa, who was biting her bottom lip with one eyebrow raised, staring at the game. Alex, Phoebe, and Collin played on one team Jake, Kendall and Cory on the other. Well, Phoebe didn’t really play, she just avoided the ball. Collin, well… he just looked amazing. His tan khaki shorts hung low on his hips and hit his knees. “Pretty nice view… huh, Tessa?” Molly smiled. “Great View,” Tessa replied before she even thought about it. Molly laughed yes it was, she thought. Dinner was ready. Jake’s girlfriend Sarah was helped Maggie set the table. And the game was over, and Tessa watched as they all shook hands and laughed wishing she could’ve played, too. “Do you think I could have a drink? It’s been awhile since I’ve taken that pain pill that kicked my butt?” Molly laughed “I’ll get you one.” Tessa and Sydney colored and Molly returned. “How are you doing Tessa? We were a bit shocked when you sent the text you had already left. Mom was really worried about you, so was I,” Molly rubbed her back. Tessa smiled “I’m good, this is a great diversion, being away from everything, and now that you’re all here, it’s pretty perfect.” Maggie yelled for everyone to come eat. Everyone went in the house and washed up for dinner. Collin went to his house and returned with a black tee on. She was disappointed; she smiled as looked down. She hopped into the house to wash her hands and go to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and smiled, she brushed her teeth and put on some lotion, she could tell she had gotten some color today and didn’t want to peel. When she returned, the table was full. The only empty spot was between Sydney and Collin. Sydney smiled and touched the chair next to her, “Great view, Auntie Tessa.” Tessa smiled and kissed her head “Sure is.” Collin stood and pulled out Tessa’s chair before she had the chance too. Her face immediately felt hot again. “Thank you,” she said softly. Molly got up and grabbed the bottle of wine that sat by the lounge and filled Tessa’s glass. “Thank you,” Tessa and Molly smiled at each other. Dinner was great, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. John talked a lot about Organic farming and mentioned more than once that it was a very busy time of the year. After several comments like that, Tessa noticed Maggie kick him under the table. Tessa giggled knowing how uneasy he was about not being at the farm for even a minute at this time of year. Collin saw her smile as she pulled her hair back and twisted it and let it lay to the side. Sydney yawned and Molly laughed, “Looks like someone is ready for bed, say goodnight to everyone.” Sydney walked around the table giving everyone hugs and telling them goodnight. She reached Collin and looked up at him. “Night- Night, great view.”
Tessa began to choke on her wine and stood up to leave the table before she spit a mouthful across it. She threw her hands in the air like she had taught Sydney to do when something went down the wrong way and stopped coughing. “Good job Auntie Tessa, you put your arms up like a big girl,” she threw her arms around her legs to congratulate her on her big girl accomplishment. “Molly, could I go in and turn a movie on for her?” Tessa asked. Molly shook her head yes, and Tessa limped in with Sydney. “Well… that was uncomfortable,” John laughed. “But I agree with Sydney — you are one handsome son of a gun.” Alex went and grabbed everyone a drink and jokingly put one in front of his parents. He knew their two drink rule, well Maggie’s rule, John took it and winked at his wife who was looking at him, disapprovingly. “That’s for kicking me,” he kissed her cheek and finished his drink. He pulled out Maggie’s chair and grabbed her hand and they walked inside. He scooped Sydney up in his arms and brought her upstairs. Tessa walked outside and grabbed what looked to be the last of the bottle of wine. “Damn Tessa what’s it like to drink again and not be the DD for the guys? You sure you can handle another glass? You’re looking a little tipsy,” Jake joked. “It’s alright. Not necessary, but alright,” she said with a sad smile. “Could you go turn on some tunes, please?” “What shall it be?” he asked. “I don’t care… just not sappy music.” “How about the 90’s channel again?” “Sounds great,” Tessa answered. They had all moved to the patio, and the guys cleaned off the table. They were all pretty tired and tipsy when they finally sat and enjoyed the evening breeze. Collin could tell that they were all concerned about Tessa, and he was sure it had little to do with her ankle. The song You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette came on, then her brothers sat looking at each other and began making up their own words. One would start, and the other would step in, Tessa laughed at them knowing that she had done the same thing when singing songs to them when they were all younger. “I want you to know that I'm sickened by you, I wish nothing but the worst for you,” Jake sang. “An older version of me” Alex took over, “Is she big chested like me.” “Would she go down on you in a theater,” Jake sang as he smiled at Tessa. Tessa chimed in, “Does she speak red- necked and would she smoke your doobies.” Kendall sang “I'm sure she makes a really excellent bar whore.” Collin was having a great time as he watched them laugh and singing. He sat back and enjoyed himself he was relaxed for the first time in years. It wasn’t at all awkward, they all made him feel very welcome. He could tell Tessa was getting drunk, she couldn’t keep a straight face, her hair fell around her eyes, and he wondered what must have happened to her. He wondered if the song they sang together had anything to do with it. Kendall changed it to the hair nation station and the song Have A Drink On Me started playing as Molly finally came out to join the group. “Hey — could we get a group picture before any of you pass out?” Molly laughed. Collin offered to take it, and he snapped about twenty photos. Phoebe grabbed the camera and told him to get over there. It was like the parting of the red seas, all of Tessa’s siblings moved so that Collin had to sit pretty close to her lap. Phoebe immediately began shooting. He moved her ankle so that he would not sit on it, and was told to move back until he was practically on her lap, his back touched her
chest. Tessa put bunny ears behind his head as she leaned over his shoulder to make a silly face, he turned towards her and they were nose to nose for what seemed like ever. “Alright Alex, time for bed big Boy,” Phoebe grabbed his hand and led him inside. Molly and Cory, Jake and Sarah, and Kendall followed suit leaving them sitting there looking down, uncomfortably close to one another. “This is awkward” she laughed, “It’s nice but awkward.” Damn those words flow to easily when I drink! He just sat watching her as she squirmed enjoying it immensely. “You have a great family Tessa. You all seem to enjoy each other so much,” it was more a question than an observation. “Yeah, they’re pretty great, most of the time,” she joked. His stare made her feel like she was stripped naked, and he knew it. He smiled “You know this has been the most fun I have had in years. My family is small and scattered around the world.” Again in typical true Tessa form she opened her mouth and out it flew. “I think you looked like you were having a pretty good time last night,” her eyes now wide with a look of terror. He laughed “Wow, well… that’s one way to point out the white elephant in the room.” “Or the one on your deck last night,” damn why couldn’t she stop this? “Sorry, I don’t often drink, and this is part of the reason, I open my mouth and stuff just comes out, no control.” She sat back and looked up at the sky. “By the way where is your girlfriend?” Collin laughed at the way she was trying to avoid eye contact, “We kind of went through this earlier, I don’t have a girlfriend. By the shape you seem to be in now, I’ll probably have to answer that question again at another time. So listen up okay.” He grabbed her head with his hands, so she was looking at him and did not let go. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Relationships are messy, and I don’t have time for that. What I do enjoy, is the occasional… no strings kind of relationship. I like sex, for hours. I like to give and receive, over and over and over again. When I’ve had my fill and so has my partner, I can concentrate on work. I love to hang out with my friends, but only have time for a handful. And right now I wish that I could throw you over my shoulder and take you over to my place and have you over and over and over again.” Tessa sat with her jaw dropped staring at him, her body pulsed everywhere. If she weren't so turned on she would slap him across the face right now. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and slowly removed his hands from her head, she sat up on her knees and inched her way towards him. She grabbed his hair and gently moved his head to the side and whispered in his ear. “You couldn’t handle it. I’ve been with the same man for nearly five years. I gave him everything over, and over again, wherever and whenever he wanted it,” her breath was hot, and her voice husky as she continued, “I kept it hot. I just called off our wedding because he didn’t know how to treat me. Sex, hot, dirty, loud, earth- shaking sex, is just that. I wanted more, and he wanted everything but to return the respect I gave. I can be a whore in the bedroom, beyond what you can probably even bring yourself to ask your friends with no strings. As I sit here and see your excitement grow,” she looked down at his bulging pants and purposely bit her lip “I can promise you this. I’m not a no strings kind of girl. I never will be. As hot as you are, and as lonely as I am, I’m telling you over and over and over again — NO!” Tessa released his hair from her hands and lightly shoved his head back as she shook her head slowly from side to side. She looked into his eyes. They were heavy and filled with desire, his breath, deep and hot. She was proud of herself and began to look at him with a set smile. He stood slowly in front of her. He took her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder, “You’ll say yes, I guarantee it.”
Tessa kicked and hit as he walked towards his house, “I will scream if you don’t put me down now.” He smacked her ass, chuckling in an arrogant tone, “Yep you’ll scream, and moan and yell my name,” he spun around and walked towards her house. “But first you’ll beg, Tessa. I can promise you that, you’ll beg me at least a handful of times before I unleash on you.” “And I can promise you — you pompous, arrogant ass that you’ll be on one knee in front of God and my family before that happens,” she yelled. The light came on, and the door opened, Molly stood there as he set her down inside the doorway. “She needed some help getting in, goodnight ladies,” Collin turned and walked out the door. “What the hell was that all about Tessa?” Molly gasped. “He’s impossible, “she looked at her sister. “He drives me crazy!” Molly laughed “I get that, you guys looked at each other all night at dinner, is there something you wanted tell me?” “I'm going to bed,” she limped up the stairs and crashed in the bed next to Kendall. When she closed her eyes, it was his steamy blue, intense eyes she saw. Get a grip for crying out loud. Tessa rolled to her stomach and buried her face into the pillow. One small breath and his scent filled her. His head was here, he had slept here with her. Collin walked to his house and slammed the door. That woman is frustrating, and it turns me on what the hell is that about! He went into his bathroom and took a very cold shower washing her smell from his skin before climbing into bed and falling fast asleep.
CHAPTER FOUR The next morning, Tessa stood — waving goodbye to her parents from the parking lot. Collin sped into his spot and stopped. “Good morning,” he laughed when he noticed her quickly turning and walking towards the back door trying to escape him. Leia bounded towards him, and he patted her head as he walked her towards Tessa. “Thanks, Leia,” she scowled at the faithful companion that was all too taken with her neighbor. He squatted down beside Leia and pet her, he turned and stared up at Tessa and reached for her ankle. “Nice piece of wrapping,” he lightly fingered the ace bandage wrapped around her ankle. “My Mom fixed me up before she left. She’s a nurse,” Tessa gazed down at him touching her and then slowly pulled her leg away from him. “That’s wonderful. And what about you?” “I’m a nurse as well. I just finished my degree.” “How long are you here?” he stood and looked down at her. “I was going to stay for a month, but I have this really creepy neighbor that asks a lot of questions,” she answered with a smile. “Well, what’s he look like? Sounds kind of hot. I bet he’s got a great view,” he smiled that sexy little grin as he said it. “Yeah, he’s cute, you know… for a creepy neighbor. Pretty full of himself though, pretty arrogant. Actually I’m not quite sure how his head fits through his doorway.” Jake popped his head out. “Hey man, are we still on for today?” Collin dragged his eyes from hers, “Absolutely I just went out and grabbed a few things. If you want to take this, I have a couple more bags to grab in the car.” “Dude is that a Cayman?” Jake asked. “Sweet ride!” “Thanks,” Collin smiled. Perfect time to escape, Tessa thought as she turned to walk inside. “Hey, Tessa want to give me a hand?” Collin grabbed her hand and led her towards his car. “I would love to,” Tessa’s voice was full of exaggerated radiance and pulled her hand back. Ok, so this is how it’s going to be now, cool. “Hey, I grabbed this for your niece so she could wear it on the boat today. I don’t have any childsized life vests onboard. Is it the right size?” She was taken aback, “Yes but what boat, what’s going on?” “I lost a bet last night. I owe your family a boat ride around the Cape,” he winked. “A bet? Seriously? What were my brothers betting you, that you couldn’t get me in your bed last night?” She turned and was about to walk away. He spun her around “I’m pretty sure your brothers didn’t seem like the kind of guys to pimp out their sister. It was the volleyball game, besides you need to get over this. I don’t want you in my bed. I’m afraid you’d never stop talking,” he laughed. Her face began to turn red, and as she grabbed a couple of bags, he leaned over her shoulder, his breath hit her neck stopping her dead in her tracks. “Not my bed, Tessa, I want you here like this from behind. I want you in the water with your legs wrapped around me. On my boat in the middle of the day, just not my bed,” he smacked her in the ass with a twelve pack of beer and walked by.
Why can’t I learn to keep my big mouth shut? She could see how much satisfaction he was getting out of this. She followed him into his place with the bags. His house was much different from she had expected. It was clean, very clean. Not something she would expect from a man who lived alone. The appliances were stainless and the countertops concrete. The floor was thick planked hardwood that looked like an old barn floor. The walls were a dark gray, but with all of the natural light flowing in from everywhere it wasn’t gloomy at all. His home was a perfect mix of old and new. It was breathtaking. From the outside, you’d have never expected this; it looked like a huge log home. She helped him fill the cooler and noticed he had bought two bottles of Doobie Blues, when he realized she saw it, he smiled and winked. “Pretty good, huh?” She smiled and nudged him, “Pretty sad actually, trying to get me drunk, not real confident in yourself are you?” Leia was sniffing around and about to get on his leather couch when Tessa snapped at her. “See that’s why she likes me better,” he grabbed a thick throw blanket and told her to wait. Leia sat patiently until he looked at her and said “Ok Girl.” Leia sat on the couch and looked at Tessa. Tessa swore that damn dog rolled her eyes at her. Tessa scowled, “Traitor.” The cooler was packed. Collin took it out on the deck, Tessa followed him. “If you come through here and go under the deck you'll come to a door. Go down the stairs and you’ll see the boat launch,” he told Tessa’s family. She looked around and saw the hot tub and a fire pit, it was a good six feet off the ground you could see everything from here, even Ann’s back yard, she noted. She felt so at home here, she closed her eyes and hugged herself. Collin watched her as she stood there. She looked so peaceful he didn’t want to disturb her. He pointed for Leia to get down from the couch, and she followed him over to Tessa’s back porch. He made sure the water dish was full and put some food in her food dish. “You be a good girl,” he patted her on the head. He walked through his house and to the deck; she stood in the same spot: she hadn’t moved an inch. He watched her look out over the water she seemed so content. He felt the same calm, the same ease in watching her. Tessa could feel his eyes on her, and she turned around, “Are you ready?” “Sure am,” he replied quietly and looked at her a few seconds longer than he should have. “Hold on, I need to take Leia home,” she said looking around for her. “Already did,” he gave her a shy smiled. “Thank you, Collin.” Tessa followed him down to the enormous space under the house. It held a beautiful forty foot boat. There was a deck up top and a cabin with a galley below. “This is beautiful.” Collin smiled and got everyone on board. He handed Sydney the life jacket he had gotten her and pulled out a captain’s hat. She was all smiles when he promised he would let her drive the boat. They cruised slowly out into the water and took in the breathtaking views. The afternoon sun was getting hotter, Tessa pulled off her sweatshirt. She had a white halter swim top on. She threw her hair up into a messy bun and slipped her shades back down. After applying sunscreen, she lay down on the lounge and fell asleep. Alex, Jake, Cory, and Collin sat up in the captain’s area with Sydney. Although the boat was anchored, Sydney thought she was driving and was having a great time. “So what’s up with you and my sister?” Jake asked and the other’s snickered. “That’s a good question, I think she and I could be friends, but sometimes I get the impression that she
can’t stand me. Reality is, I don’t know her all that well. So nothing is going on.” Sydney looked at him, “My Momma said that your name was Collin, but when they were talking about you they said you were a great view, I asked Momma why, and she said…” “Alright kiddo… that’s enough of that story,” Cory grabbed Sydney up and tickled her until she was laughing a deep belly laugh. “Let’s go see what Mom’s up to.” Alex and Jake took turns telling Collin a bit about Tessa. That she had just called off her wedding and that she really did love him but knew that things never would be what she knew life could be. She had dove into her studies and finished her degree: one that her ex made her feel, was worthless. “She’s really vulnerable right now; a week from today she was supposed to get married. I don’t know what you’re into, but steer her straight. She’s amazing and has a heart as big as this ocean.” Alex stared out into the water “Well honestly, I just like to meet new people. I don’t start something with anyone until I’m sure they know it’s all work for me. I work hard and would never hurt anyone. That’s not my thing.” Smirking Collin looked back at Tessa, “Your sister kind of drives me crazy though. Very different than what I look for in a woman.” “We lived with her for 18 years; we know all too well how crazy she can drive people. She drove our folks crazy for years. She’s all heart and she gets a great deal of satisfaction out of helping and doing for others. I remember one day she was driving out of the school parking lot, and I threw a snowball. I hit the biggest guy out there, an honest to God accident. After seeing the kid grab me and push me down shoving my face into a snow bank over and over, her crazy ass pulled over, blocking half the traffic. She ran in dress shoes and a skirt- — she shoved him so hard, he fell into the snow. He jumped up as if he was going to kick her ass. She got nose to nose with him and said something about having a small penis and needing to feel like a big boy by shoving a kid less than half his incredible grotesque size down. Then told him that if he ever touched me or any other kid and she found out about it, she would fuck him up. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, but my boys thought it was hot. Before the cops came, she was grabbed by one of her friends and tossed back into the car. She was swearing like a sailor the whole way home. Growing up with sisters, our friends all had big ass crushes on all three of them but Tessa was always the favorite. She wasn’t quiet and shy, and gave as good as she got you know? We both got into plenty of disagreements when our boys would start talking about what they would like to do to them, pissed me off and grossed me out at the same time,” Jake laughed. Collin laughed at their stories; they continued talking about her for what seemed like hours. Tessa woke to watch the sun go down. Today was supposed to be her bachelorette party, she smiled thinking this was even better, and she knew all these people loved her. Her family was her light. Sydney ran up to her and hugged her tight; she always made her feel much better about the world. Tessa heard Collin laugh, and she was brought back to the moment. His laugh was as beautiful as he was. She walked up to them with Sydney on her back and asked what was so funny. “Well, it's top secret, but I will tell you it’s not at all about you or your crazy antics when you were younger,” Collin winked at her. She scowled at her brothers, and Sydney looked at her thoughtfully. “Its ok Aunt Tessa everything is fine. The sun is going down and it's beautiful and a great view,” she grinned a sheepish grin. “Alright you,” she pulled up her shirt and blew on her belly making a loud sound. “You’re so lucky you’re a beautiful, intelligent princess or I’d feed you to the whales.” They all ate the dinner they had warmed up on the boat. It was starting to get dark, and they decided to head back in. By the time they docked, Sydney was fast asleep on Tessa. Everyone was able to relax. It was an amazing day. Molly took Sydney, and Tessa grabbed her sweatshirt and put it on, it was getting chilly. She grabbed
the garbage and whatever else she could carry and walked off the boat. Collin and the boys grabbed the coolers still full of beer. “It’s been a great day, thank you so much, Collin.” “I had a great time; hey I could turn the hot tub on if anyone is interested? It’ll take about half an hour or so.” Everyone agreed and Tessa smiled at them. She felt him looking at her. “I’ll put the beer next to the tub, see you soon?” he asked Tessa. She smiled and shook her head yes. Tessa went home and put on her bathing suit bottoms brushed her teeth and pulled her hair into a side ponytail. She looked in and saw Molly and Sydney fast asleep in one of the rooms. She turned off the light and walked down the stairs. She brought Leia in through the house and out to the backyard to do her business. She threw together a tray with cheese, crackers, and some fruit. Everyone was already in the hot tub when she walked over. She set the food next to the cooler and took off her towel. Her brothers started making chick a chicka wow wow sounds and Phoebe and Sarah smacked them. Again the only seat left was the one next to Collin. He had a glass of wine waiting for her. She smiled and took a sip. She put it back on the ledge and asked where the music was. He pushed a button and a control panel lifted from the ledge. He chose Sirius 80’s music and Berlin’s Take my Breath away was ending, and Jake started singing “Take my breasts away,” and they all laughed. They talked about music and what the greatest bands of their generation were. They decided on Pearl Jam, Zeppelin, and even Counting Crows made the cut. “You’re all missing some great stuff, Jazz, Blues, the instrumental pieces,” Collin seemed passionate and Tessa laughed. Jake asked Collin to show him what else this tub could do; he pushed a button that caused a disco ball effect of lights to happen in the hot tub. “Holy Porn Star, Batman,” Jake burst out they all laughed. The girls decided to call it a night. And the four of them left. Tessa had fallen asleep but not before finishing half the bottle of wine. The guys had polished off an 18 pack, more than any of them were used to drinking. Collin was slightly buzzed. Collin asked her “if she wanted another glass of wine,” she didn’t answer. He removed her sunglasses. She was asleep — or passed out he wasn’t sure which. She started sliding towards him and put her head on his shoulder and then turned to him her eyes opening slightly she smiled. He pulled her on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his sides and rested her head on his chest. He pulled her hair to one side and twisted it into a ponytail. He gently kissed the top of her head; she took a very deep breath completely relaxed. He could feel and see her chest rise and fall slowly with each breath she took. She didn’t want to move. She felt very comfortable, safe, and secure wrapped around him like this. She could feel that he was getting aroused which made her body react by pushing towards him. He lifted her face to his, his eyes burned with desire and her body couldn’t stop responding to the pressure she felt beneath her. He rubbed is nose slowly up the side of her face breathing her in deeply. He kissed her forehead, pulled her back, his jaw clenched and nose flared, he wanted her so badly. He kissed her lightly. Slowly… again and again, he pulled her lip and she opened her mouth and invited his tongue in to explore. They slowly, deeply, moved their tongues around each other’s hot mouths. She pulled away slightly and bit his lip. Looking up at him, she moved to his ear and down his neck to his chest. She bit his nipple lightly tugging on it with her mouth, she watched as his eyes glassed over and rolling slightly back. She kissed his stomach, moving down until her eyes and nose were the only things not underwater. He grabbed her and forcefully lifted her up. He tossed her over his shoulder, and she laughed. He brought her into the house and wrapped her in a towel and dried off her back. She turned and smiled at
him and looked down, and was completely without words for a few seconds. “Wow,” was all she could manage. He lifted her up and sat on the leather couch with her straddling him. “Look at me up here, not down there,” he lifted her chin. In the light, he could tell that she was loaded. “Tessa you’re drunk, and I’m feeling no pain. We as adults need to make an adult decision. I know the view is great… it’s pretty damn amazing from here, too. Unless you’re ready to beg, I think I need to stop this,” he teased. “I like the kissing a lot, a whole lot. I’m absolutely NOT going to beg.” She began to kiss him again. He didn’t refuse and this time it wasn’t as soft. He kissed her hard, every inch of her body was on fire. Her hips rocked into him, and he grabbed her by the waist, and lifted her off of him. He ran his hands through his hair and growled, he looked up at her swollen, red lips. He stood and lifted her over his shoulder, walked into the bathroom and turned on cold water and walked into it, with her still over his shoulder. She began to kick and flail. He turned off the water and walked out. He grabbed a towel and wrapped her up in it and wrapped one around his waist while he dropped his trunks. He walked into the closet and he returned with pajama bottoms that sat perfectly on his body, revealing a deep V that made her jaw drop. He was undeniably beautiful. Tall, cut and lean, with just the right amount of tan to his skin. His chest was…Dear God, she thought as she felt her insides tighten. He put a pair of drawstring shorts and a hooded sweatshirt on the counter and instructed her to put them on. She turned and dropped the towel and did as he asked. She was shivering when she walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where he was leaning against the counter with a glass of water and a couple of Tylenol for both of them. He handed her water and the Tylenol, and she took them. He looked angry, and she had now sobered up a bit from the cold shower. She couldn’t look him in the eyes she felt like a child, like a child who was in a lot of trouble. “I don’t do this, the kissing, the holding, the talking. I don’t do this,” he looked towards the door, “I don’t hang out with family and I don’t take a minute to relax. I work hard, I don’t take time off, and I certainly don’t feel drawn to some girl who’s a mess emotionally.” She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, “I’m sorry,” Tessa grabbed Leia. “Come on girl,” she said as she walked to the door.
CHAPTER FIVE There was a knock at the door, and Collin set his morning paper on his desk and answered it. “Hey Collin, sorry man I didn’t mean to wake you. We’re leaving in about an hour and just wanted to say goodbye to you and Tessa?” Jake smirked. Collin looked panicked, “Tessa’s not here.” They both took off out the door. First they looked in the parking lot and saw her vehicle was parked in the same spot it had been since he made her move it. Next the deck, beach, and patio. She wasn’t anywhere to be found. “Hey, I’m going to look around the house again.” “I’m going too,” Collin followed Jake. Collin was angry at himself for letting her walk out last night. He hadn’t slept well at all. She was in his head so deep that it hurt. Not a feeling he ever had felt. He felt guilty about what he had said to her and felt even worse now. They looked upstairs and in the bathroom. They went downstairs and looked around. Collin whistled, and Leia came out of the study, which was once Ann’s room, he patted her head and quickly walked in. Tessa was curled up into a tight little ball with her knees to her chest inside the sweatshirt, the hood on her head and drawstring pulled tight. Jake and Collin looked at each other and smiled. She was fast asleep, Collin grabbed the blanket that had fallen on the floor and put it around her. He walked out and Kendall handed him a cup, and he thanked her. “I can’t believe she slept in there of all places,” Kendall whispered. Jake laughed, “You’re so superstitious.” Collin looked at them confused, “Why?” “She does a great job taking care of other’s but she sucks at doing it for herself. We have to go home today all of us have to work, and it’s scary as all get out leaving her here alone,” Kendall whispered to them. “I’ll be here all month, I’ll watch out for her,” Collin told them. “Thank you, man,” Jake hugged him. What is with this family? Collin wondered. He patted his back uncomfortably, and Jake let go. “Oh, damn it!” They heard Tessa from the study. She raced to the bathroom, and they heard her throw up repeatedly. “Stupid sweatshirt, stupid shorts…” she mumbled as she threw them out the door. “Stupid wine,” she started throwing up again. Collin walked in and pulled her hair away from her face. Jake and Kendall shocked. They were pretty sure they were leaving her in good hands. When Tessa stopped throwing up, she realized she was naked except for the towel she had grabbed. She looked up and saw Collin in his black pajama pants and a tight white ribbed tank top. He turned on the shower, and she scowled at him. “It’s warm,” he whispered and turned to walk out. Jake and Kendall stood there along with everyone except Sydney; they all woke up when they heard her throwing up. They were all silent. “She is in the shower now,” he said, and their jaws all dropped. “I didn’t peek,” he said, they all laughed at him. Molly ran up and got her some clothes and set them on the bathroom counter. Sarah and Phoebe
packed their suitcases and the boys loaded them up. Kendall texted Jose that she would be back in about seven hours. When Tessa got out, she found the clothes Molly had left and got dressed. She walked out and entered the kitchen and saw everyone standing there. She scowled at them all. “Bet you’d like to know whose toothbrush I used,” she mumbled as she walked to the living room and crashed on the couch. They all started laughing. Sydney ran into the living room and jumped on her lap. “I didn’t use your toothbrush my sweet princess,” Tessa kissed her head. “Tessa you slept in there?” Jake laughed. “Yes, why?” she asked as she carried Sydney into the kitchen. “It doesn’t freak you out?” Kendall asked. Tessa rolled her eyes, “If I did believe in ghosts I would still have slept in there. Aunt Ann would never hurt anyone. I wish you could have met her Sydney, she would’ve loved you.” “Your Aunt owned this house?” Collin gasped. “Yes, she died here. Tessa was with her,” Jake smiled. “Hey, I wonder about her Joe,” Phoebe giggled. “Collin who did you buy your place from?” Jake asked. “The church actually, it was a mess. I have fixed it up over the years. Tessa?” he asked looking at her his face visibly shaken. Tessa had been staring at the ground and looked up shyly at him and smiled. “You’re Joe,” her voice was barely a whisper. He swallowed hard and looked confused. “My Aunt liked you,” Tessa smirked. “This is Ann’s Joe?” Molly asked. “Hey Collin, thank you. I’m not sure I ever said it before…back then. But thank you,” Tessa said softly. “No problem. Your Aunt was very nice. I’m going to head home. It was great meeting you all,” Collin quickly walked out the back door. They said their goodbyes and Tessa waved as they pulled out of the driveway. She sat on the back porch and hugged her knees. She could feel the tears fill her eyes as their vehicles disappeared from sight. She grabbed a tissue and dabbed her eyes. He was standing at the door in his running gear. He saw that she was crying and stood there watching her. What had he done? He certainly didn’t want to make her feel this way, he grew angry. She saw him and turned away. “I’m going for a run; can I take Leia with me?” “Uh huh.” He grabbed Leia’s leash, and she came up and sat beside him patiently. Collin dropped the leash and walked over to Tessa, he kneeled down and took her face and wiped her eyes with his long thick finger. “If I did this to you, I’m sorry. I told you I didn’t do this kind of stuff. I’m so angry right now it’s messing with my head.” She took a deep breath and slowly breathed out. “You didn’t, I’ve never been like this. I’m broken and damaged, and none of this has anything to do with you. If anything… you’ve been a beautiful distraction, please don’t think for a minute that this is your fault. I’m sorry if I've confused you. I’m sorry I’ve made you angry. I’m so thankful that you’ve been such a gentleman,” tears began to fall. He looked at her confused and shook his head. He called Leia, and they went for a run. ***
The phone rang, and it was Phoebe. It had only been an hour since they’d left. “Hey, Tessa how are you? Don’t answer that I wanted you to know that all us girls are coming to see you on Thursday night” she yelled, hooted, and howled. “Are you excited?” “I am it’ll be great I’m just super hung over right now,” she laughed. “But now I’m focused and will find some great things to do, it’s great knowing we have a DD.” They talked for a few minutes before hanging up. She grabbed a glass of water and walked to the patio. She saw Leia and Collin, Leia was dragging behind. They got to the patio, and she handed Collin a glass of water. “Your spirits look lifted,” Collin observed. “They are, you look a lot less stressed too,” she said with a smile. “Can I come back later? I told your family I’d see that you’re okay,” he said in a very methodical tone. “You don’t have to, Collin. I’m a big girl, but if you want to, I’ll be here.” She sat in the sun on the patio for hours. Her phone rang, and she smiled, it was Ben. “I’ve missed your face Ben!” she said as she watched Collin walk in through the gate. “You doing alright Tess?” Ben asked. “I am actually. I’m ready to start over, and it feels great,” she laughed. “I’m glad; you’re going to be alright. If you need me Tess, I’m here. You know that, right?” “I need you and your fiancé to be happy, Ben. I love you, and your friendship means more than I can even tell you. I’m so happy I’ve had you in my life for all of this. I am, however, sad that… well, it doesn’t matter; I just wish I didn’t drag you through all this,” she said sadly. “Tess, I’m glad I was there” he laughed, “We’ve had some very good times.” “We did — you’ve been amazing,” she said. “I miss your face Ben.” “You know I could come home now,” Ben laughed. “I hope you can come home in November, doe camp isn’t the same without you,” she laughed. “My family just left, and I got super loaded last night, and the girls are coming up Thursday night. I really just want you to be happy, Ben,” she said and felt tears. “Tess, you crying?” Ben whispered. “Nope, not anymore,” Tessa wiped the tears away. “Everything is great.” “I have to tell you your ex- friend requested me on Facebook, I accepted,” he laughed. She laughed, “Why would you do that?” “You’re his friend on there, why did you?” “Because, I don’t know, I have to be nice to him, so he doesn’t fall apart. I was with him for a very long time, and I can’t just shut down ALL of my feelings. I’m perfectly fine knowing I’m not going back to him ever again, but I can’t be mean.” “Wow — for once I believe that you actually believe that,” Ben said sweetly. “Alright girl, I have a hot date with a blonde and I don’t want to keep her waiting. I love you, girl. Hopefully, we’ll see you at camp.” “I love you and miss your face, Ben,” she hung up. Collin walked over and brought her some food. He looked confused. “I told your family I’d look after you. Who's Ben?” he asked running his hand through his hair. “My friend… are you spying on me?” she laughed. “No, I’m sorry, I just...” he looked flustered. “I’m joking. Lucas is my ex. Ben’s my friend, sorry,” she said and wiped away tears. “And you love him… Ben?” “He’s helped me through so much, yes I love him. Like you do family. He’s been a friend for a long time.” “And before that?” he asked.
She laughed, “I thought the emotional stuff wasn’t fun for you, my creepy hot neighbor.” Collin looked at her and ran his fingers through his hair again, he was clearly agitated. Collin took her shoulders and led her to the table and sat her down, he pulled a chair up knee to knee with her and grabbed her hands. “I’m going to talk, and I don’t like to talk. I’m stepping way out of my comfort zone here, please just listen to me,” he looked into her eyes and saw hurt “I’m the youngest of three children from a very broken family. None of my siblings share the same father, none of our fathers stuck around to get to know us. I watched my mother become emotionally attached to every man she brought through the door. She was drunk all the time and used every drug she could get her hands on. She was only caring when it was an act to try to impress whichever man stumbled out of her bedroom on any given morning. We went hungry. We watched as she chose to buy a steak for whoever it was she expected to come through the door. After she fed us cereal and shoved us in our bedroom so that we didn’t screw it up for her. I went through a very rough spell for a few years. But then threw myself into my education and graduated at 17 the top of my class. I went to a community college that summer and finished the core courses that I hadn’t taken in high school. I graduated college at 20. I joined the military and earned my doctorate at 23. I was honorably discharged a year ago. I’ve never had an emotional attachment to anything, and I mean anything except for my work. I fuck women who are as cold as I am, and am very honest with every last one of them about that. I see my mother only when she needs something from me. Then you, and that furry little thing walk in here: the first time in three years that I take a break from work. I travel a lot. In fact, I’m leaving in four weeks for a month. I wanted to spend time on the boat and the beach and bring different women over to have emotionless sex with. My point is, I never learned to love. I’m not even sure I ever knew what it really meant. I saw how you cared for this dog, and then your family and I didn’t just see it… I felt it. I want you, I need you, and after talking to your brothers I know that you aren’t really emotionally available. I know that sex feels good and fills a void. I also see how a kiss affects you, and how yours affects me. I don’t kiss or hug or talk, and in the past 3 days I’ve done more of that with you than I have in my entire life. Christ — even your brothers and sisters hugged me before they left. I fell asleep with you upstairs, and that has never happened. I am a fucking mess here, Tessa. You’re without a doubt the most beautiful person inside and out that I have ever met in my life. And you sit here and listen, with what I think is care in your eyes… and I feel guilty. You’ve been through some sort of hell, and here I am pouring my heart out to you, and for that I’m sorry Tessa, beautiful Tessa. I know I have very strong feelings for you; I can’t name what it is because I’ve never felt it before. It’s frustrating as hell.” He grabbed her face, and she tensed up and her eyes widened, “And now I’ve scared you. Please never be afraid of me. I’ll never hurt you. I’m done, I didn’t mean to unleash on you, and I certainly regret having done so., I just wanted… no… needed you to know where I’m coming from.” Tessa and Collin sat and looked into each other’s eyes for a long time. She felt the heat in her eyes, and the tears began to fall. He looked horrified, angry, and confused. She hadn’t meant to make him feel this way. She stood and knelt before him; she wrapped her arms around him and wept on his lap for a long time. She fell asleep like this. Collin scooped her up and brought her into the house; he walked upstairs and laid her in bed. He covered her up and went to walk away; she sat up and grabbed his arm. “Don’t go; please don’t leave. I want you to stay.” He sat on the edge of the bed and she moved towards him, she crawled onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Their heads touched and they looked into each other’s eyes, and she kissed him and then stepped off the bed and laid him down and covered him up. She climbed across him, got under the covers and wrapped her arms around him, and they both fell asleep. They woke to the sound of Leia wining. He sat up and looked at her, “Thank you.” Tessa smiled at him, stood up, and pulled him to her and hugged him. She grabbed his hands and wrapped them around her, and they walked down the stairs together. She let Leia out and with his hands
still in hers, she led him to the table and sat him down. She grabbed some water out of the fridge and put one before him. She grabbed a steak out and walked out to the patio and placed it on the grill. She came back in and grabbed some corn and salt potatoes and placed them in a strainer to wash. She filled a pot with water and brought it to the outdoor kitchen. She went in and grabbed a blanket and his hand and led him out to the lounge chair. She told him to sit and covered him with the blanket. When dinner was done, she brought it to the lounge on a large platter all cut up with butter melted on the potatoes and corn. She sat cross- legged between his legs and fed him in the moonlight. She wiped his face after each bite and held his hand as he chewed. Not a word was said: she fed him, and he ate. They looked into each other's eyes, and both smiled cautiously. As uncomfortable as each of them were at first, it quickly diminished. With each bite, she fed him he became more comfortable, and each time his mouth opened to receive the food she offered, she felt closer to him. Her choice of food was not by coincidence it was purposeful. Her beautiful distraction would not eat cereal tonight, he would eat steak. It was still warm when they’d finished, and she led him to the beach and walked him into the water. She rubbed his chest and back. She cupped water and poured it over his head. She held him and kissed his face softly and gently. She grabbed a pair of shorts off the fence that he had left to dry as they walked by. They went back into the house, and she grabbed a towel and dried him off. He changed into his dry shorts and brushed his teeth. She was waiting when he walked out. She took his hand, and they walked upstairs and lay entangled in each other’s arms. They fell asleep nose to nose. *** When Collin woke, Tessa was downstairs drinking a cup of tea sitting in the study. He watched her as she sat on the ground deep in thought. “Good Morning,” he said in barely a whisper. “Good morning,” Tessa smiled as she stood up. She walked past him into the kitchen. “Coffee or tea?” she asked nervously. “Whatever you’re having would be fine.” They stood against the counter quietly drinking their tea, and he finally spoke. “I want to take you somewhere today,” he peered up at her. She smiled and shook her head in acceptance. “Good, I’ll be back in about thirty minutes?” “Sure,” she giggled. “What’s so amusing?” he asked. “I think we’re both obviously uncomfortable, and well… I laugh when I’m nervous sometimes.” “Alright. Can I hug you?” he asked cautiously. “Yes, please.” He hugged her, and she smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “Better?” “Much,” she smiled. “Okay — see you in half an hour Tessa?” he turned to walk away. “Hey, give me an idea of what we’re doing today, are we staying around here or will we be leaving?” She called after him. “It's a surprise” he called back. This should be interesting, she thought. She went into the bathroom and dried her hair; she got out the straightening iron and straightened it. She put on a pair of khakis and a tank top; she grabbed a jean jacket out of the closet. Tessa put on some mascara which she hadn’t done since she’d been there and it's now
been four days she could not believe it was already Monday. Collin returned in Khaki shorts, a button down shirt, sandals, a white baseball hat, and his aviators. He looked amazing, and she guessed he knew it. “Hey Leia, here’s a big pillow to lounge on while we are gone,” he patted her head. Collin also brought some toys for her to occupy herself. Tessa smiled at him and wondered how such a self- proclaimed cold, emotionless person could be so kind. They walked out to his black Porsche and he opened the passenger door. Tessa sat inside and smiled, he opened the door for me. He jumped in and started the car. There was a smirk on his face as she looked at him. Tessa smiled, “So where are we going?” He grabbed her hand and kissed it, “You’ll see in a minute.” He held her hands against his chest. He had to let go to shift the car, damn — what was I thinking buying a stick shift? He thought to himself. “I have to shift, I have to let go of your hand, and I don’t want to let go of your hand.” Tessa laughed out loud and told him she would hold her hand right here as he shifted the car. They drove down the main street, and she looked at the buildings to the left and all the businesses that had popped up since she was younger. She looked to the right at the beach, what a beautiful place. Collin pulled in, turned around and parked in the front row of the empty parking lot. He popped the latch that opened the trunk and grabbed a basket out of it. He ran and opened her door as she was grabbing her bag. They crossed the road and walked down the boardwalk arm and arm, and came to a boat with a sign in front of it that said “whale watching.” Collin squeezed her hands, “Does this look like fun to you?” She smiled and shook her head yes with a childish grin on her face, “I’ve never done this before.” “Welcome aboard, Mr. Abraham,” the captain said, “everything is as you have requested. “Thank you, this is Tessa and this is her first- time whale watching so I’d like to get at it right away so she can have the full experience,” Collin instructed him. “Of course, sir.” Mr. Stone, the captain, went upstairs. The engine roared, and they started to move backward. Collin opened a bench and grabbed two yellow vests. He helped Tessa put it on and zipped it for her. He pulled her hair back and twisted it in a ponytail and set it over her shoulder. He grabbed her hand and kissed it and led her to the front of the boat. He sat on the long cushioned bench with one of his long legs stretched out against the back and one foot on the floor. He watched her as she took in the beauty that surrounded her. For a brief second, he thought she looked sad. He reached his arm out, and grabbed her wrist and pulled her down to sit between his legs and snuggle against him. He wrapped his arms around her and put his nose to her head and kissed her lightly. She put her hands on his knees and lightly caressed them. “It’s beautiful out here — thanks so much for bringing me. The captain seems to know you. Do you do this a lot?” He smirked, “You could say that, it’s kind of mine.” “Oh, wow,” she said, “You know there really isn’t a lot that I know about you. I actually just learned your last name when the captain used it. What do you do?” “I write really boring medical papers based on my research. I travel to teach people around the world new techniques. I own a few properties, and this boat,” His response made her feel inferior even though she knew that was not his intention. “Wow… that's amazing. You must be very proud of yourself.” He hugged her, “Hard work pays off.” “Could you tell me where the bathroom is?” she asked as she stood. “Sure, follow me.” “I can find it — just tell me where it is.”
Tessa made her way down below. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle out of the ice bucket sitting on the counter. She opened a drawer and found a corkscrew and opened the bottle. She walked in the bathroom, closed the toilet and sat there and drank from the bottle. She wanted to go back to the beach house and turn back the clock. She should’ve never gone for a run that morning; she would have enjoyed her time with her family and sulked. She would’ve not let herself be fooled for one minute that this man would be interested. She wasn’t happy that she already felt drawn to him, wanting to take care of him, when she was supposed to be healing and finding herself. She’d finished nearly half the bottle when he knocked on the door. “Everything ok Tessa, do you need anything?” “Nope, I’m coming,” she stood up and felt a little woozy. She opened the door with the bottle in her hand. “You found the wine,” he smiled “I did, pretty good stuff,” she smirked. He grabbed her hand and felt her tense up. He looked at her and wondered what if anything had changed in the ten minutes they had been there. He pulled her towards him, hugged her and kissed the top of her head. “Why didn’t you tell me you were thirsty?” She took a big drink from the bottle; he stepped backward and bent down, so they were eye to eye. She avoided his gaze. “Tessa, what’s wrong?” he asked taking her head in his hands. “This, all this, you, what am I doing here? Four months ago, I called off my wedding and graduated from college. Two months ago I signed off on a house, and up until four days ago I was working twelvehour shifts and saving every penny so that I could just figure out who I am for the next month. I know where I’ve gone wrong, promises I made as a child I’ve broken. And here I stand — drunk in front of a man who is incredibly hot and says all the right things and who makes me want to do unspeakable things with him…and all after less than four days. I want to just get drunk; screw you till neither of us can walk, and go home… knowing that’ll be the end of this. Whatever it is.” He grabbed a tissue and dried her eyes. He began to kiss her, he started at the base of her neck and moved to her jaw, he moved up the side of her cheek and across her forehead. His kisses were soft and gentle and lingered at just the right time. He continued down her other cheek and down her neck. He unzipped the lifejacket and took it off her. He resumed his incredibly sexy cascade of kisses down her neck her throat and stopped just above her rapidly rising and falling breasts. He moved his lips to hers and with his tongue, parted her lips. She opened her mouth inviting him in. He pulled her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He placed her on it and continued kissing her. She was incredibly turned on and wanted him badly. “Tessa is this what you want?” he asked in a deep raspy voice. “Yes.” “Are you sure?” “Tell me what you want, Tessa,” he kissed her. “I want you Collin,” Tessa moaned. “Are you sure?” “Yes, please, now,” he continued kissing her. Ravaging her mouth with his tongue and began kissing her neck again, “Please! I beg you, please.” His kisses slowed and he grabbed her and lifted her up, he sat her on the bed and grabbed her head so that she couldn’t turn away. His eyes were dark and feral. “That’s one. I don’t want it like this, not because you’re a fucking mess. Not until, you’re ready, and trust me this is unbelievably hard. I want nothing more than to rip these clothes off you now and go at it
with you until dawn, but it’s not happening. He stood up and adjusted himself, squatted down and took several deep breaths. He breathed heavy and he appeared extremely angry. He walked towards her again, breathing deeply, his nose flared, his jaw tightened and he picked her up and kissed her fiercely again. She clung to his body holding on for dear life. She grabbed tightly to his hair and kissed him back. He walked to the bed and placed her on it and looked down at her breasts rising with each deep fast intake of breath. He knelt again, punched the bed, stood and walked up the stairs. Tessa sat up frustrated, and angry: she felt rejected. And the man had the nerve to tell her that’s one! Seriously?! Her body was still trembling and she was ready to scream, and he walks out! She stood and walked to the bathroom. When she was finished, she grabbed the bottle of wine and stomped up the stairs. He was on his phone; she stopped and waited, giving him privacy to finish his call before she tore into him. “No, not here, I’ll fly up in the morning… I miss you too,” she heard him say. Tessa turned and walked down the stairs and to the bed. She drank three more big swigs of the wine and set it on the floor and fell asleep. She woke to him holding her and her arms wrapped tightly around him. Her head was pounding, and she felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to go back to sleep. “We’re docked,” he ran his hands softly over her hair. “Ok sorry,” she stood up and walked towards the stairs. Mr. Stone walked down the pier towards them, he handed Collin the keys to the car. “Thank you, Mr. Stone.” He smiled warmly at her. The ride home was silent, and it was dark when they returned. She walked into the house, and Leia ran past her and met Collin at the door. “Hey girl,” he said, “you want to go out?” Tessa walked into the bathroom and ran the bathwater. Collin took Leia out and threw the ball for a few minutes allowing time for her to bathe. When he came in Tessa was sitting on the couch holding her knees rocking back and forth. He walked passed her and gently touched her hair. He grabbed the cooler off the back porch and grabbed a plate of cheese and crackers from it. He handed her a cracker, and she turned away “I’m not hungry.” He gently turned her face towards him, “If we’d have eaten today, you may have fared better with that bottle of wine. I won’t take no for an answer.” She nibbled on a piece of cheese and ate three or four crackers. He opened and handed her a bottle of water, she drank it slowly, afraid that something may come up. “Are you ok Tessa?” he asked with genuine concern in his voice as he handed her two Tylenol. She took the pills and drank them down, “I feel like an idiot, and my head feels like someone smashed it with a hammer. I took a wonderful day and made it ugly. I’m sorry, I really am. Other than that I’m fine and very ready to go to sleep.” “I don’t know what happened today. I wish it went differently. I’m not sorry that I’m here with you,” he said softly as he kissed her on the head. She couldn’t forget the conversation she walked in on and truly just wanted to go to sleep. Collin got up and opened the door and let Leia in. He took her hand and helped her stand. They walked hand in hand up the stairs, she got into bed, and he tucked her in and lay next to her and she fell asleep in his arms, again. She woke and heard his voice coming from the bathroom. “No, I need to do this, Tomas. I won’t need you to travel with me. I’d like you to stay at the beach house until I return. I will email you instructions when I get a minute. I’ve booked a flight for tomorrow
morning, returning Saturday at 6 am.” He hung up, and she could hear him brushing his teeth. She rolled over and acted as if she were asleep. He got into bed and pulled her closer to him. “Goodnight Tessa, sweet dreams,” he kissed her head, and she stared out the window and finally fell asleep. *** Her phone rang, and she answered it “Hello, yes, it’s three o’clock in the morning Lucas, alright what do you need to talk to me about?” She scooted off the bed and walked into the bathroom trying not to wake Collin. “Yes they’re coming up Thursday… but I’m a little confused as to what you needed to call me for at three in the morning… Alright… no, we don’t need to talk face to face, the last time we talked I thought we covered it, there really isn’t much else to talk about…yes, I did, and I want you to be happy… Lucas are you okay?... Is your family ok?… Alright good, can you please tell me what you need?... Yes, I’m fine. Thanks.” There was a long pause as she listened to him talk. “Well, I hope that she makes you happy… No, I’m not being sarcastic; I want you to be happy… No, I don’t hate you… Ok Lucas, nope thanks for letting me know although I don’t feel it’s any of my business… no, it’s been five months Lucas… ok listen — I’m exhausted and still a little unsure why this call had to happen at this time a day or at all, but I wish you happiness and hope things work out for you. Alright, goodbye Lucas…. Yes, I do, you don’t just stop.” She took a drink of water and looked in the mirror. Okay girl, time to breathe. She took several deep breaths. She washed her hands and shut off the light. She walked quietly out of the bedroom and down the hall, Leia walked behind her, and she went outside on the patio. Collin heard the outside door close and wondered if she was ok. He had heard her side of the conversation and knew that must have been hard for her. He waited for what seemed like forever to him and finally got up and walked downstairs. He went quietly to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of glasses of water and walked outside and squatted next to her and handed her a glass of water. She looked at him, “Thank You.” “Do you need anything?” “My girls to talk to, but it’s only four in the morning,” she forced smile. “Well, I think you should just pretend I’m them and let it out,” he said in an odd sincerity. “Thank you, but I’m going to pass. I will tell you that I didn’t expect that he would not move on and have an actual girlfriend and not just someone to keep him warm. I truly hope and will pray that he finds happiness. I was with him for more than 4 years. I don’t hate him. I can’t say it’s his fault entirely; we were kids basically raising each other. I needed more than he could give to me. I accept that,” she smiled. “That being said thank you for listening, and I’m sorry for today. I feel honored that you felt you could trust me enough to open up to me last night. I feel honored that you have been a gentleman enough to fight off my drunken sexual assaults. I hope that if anything, you know I respect you and am very happy you have made me feel desirable and interesting enough to spend time with,” she finished with a yawn. He grabbed her hands and kissed them. “You look tired — let me take you to bed and hold you, which by the way I enjoy a great deal and thank you for letting me experience that.” They walked upstairs, hand in hand and lie in bed and fell asleep. The light shown through the window, and she woke as he was bringing breakfast to her in bed. He set the tray in front of her and moved the pillows as she sat up. He climbed in behind her and pulled her back into him. He loved to touch her and have her body press against his. A new feeling for him, the closeness,
the contentment. He didn’t know it could feel so good or why exactly it felt so right. “Good morning, beautiful,” he kissed the back of her neck.” Tess leaned back and smiled. “Good morning, this is unexpected thank you.” She was wondering when he would drop the bomb about leaving today. She hoped he would change his mind. She knew either way she would be alright; she just had to have faith. “Tessa, I have to go away for a couple days, and I really don’t want to leave you here alone. Not emotionally and not physically. I have some things to take care of. My assistant Tomas is going to be staying next door; if you need anything at all, you are to ask him.” Wow, she thought. I am to ask him? “I’ll be back on Saturday morning before you’re even out of bed.” “Oh,” Tessa said. “Is everything alright?” “Yes just a couple things to deal with and then I’ll be back. I don’t want to go. I have to.” “Ok,” and that was that she thought. She stood up and told him she really wanted to go for a run, and he offered to go with her. “Nope, I need to take care of my head right now, I hope you understand.” He took the tray downstairs and watched as she put her shoes on and walked out the door. Collin wished he had met her first, he wished he knew her before she knew the pain. He had this burning desire to take care of her, and he had no idea why. He had never felt like this before about a woman. She left the house and he grabbed her phone off the counter and added his number to her contact list. Telling himself, he wanted to be sure she had his number if she needed anything. *** Collin went home to shower and pack his bag. He emailed Tomas strict instructions to watch after his neighbor. He wanted to be sure she had it easy until her friends came into town. Tessa came back from her run and felt lighter, it is what it is. She loved all the kissing and the way he treated her. It took her mind off of what she left behind. If this was nothing more than a distraction, she felt blessed that she had that. He was the sweetest distraction she had ever encountered. As hot as Lucas and Ben combined and sweet like Toby. She wished she had met him first, but he was a guy and his little business trip was? She shoved back the jealous feelings knowing she had no right and decided to just enjoy the day. She sat down and responded to emails, and messaged her family and told them she was having a relaxing good time. That she couldn’t wait for her friends to come up and she’d see them soon. She checked out Facebook and sent a group message to Phoebe, Jessie, Becca, Cassidy, and Jade. Telling them if they wanted to come sooner, they would be greeted with open arms, cold wine and great food. It was Tuesday, and they would all be here by Thursday night. She wondered when Collin would be leaving and decided to busy herself with some landscape therapy tomorrow. She was deep in thought when he walked in the door. “When do you have to leave and is there any way I can get you to change your mind?” she flashed him a smile. “That run did you well,” he walked up to her, held her head in his hands and kissed her gently. “I don’t want to go, trust me I want to stay like this,” he wrapped his arms around her. “My flight leaves at six tonight. I’ll be home at six on Saturday morning.” Tessa’s phone was blowing up with messages from the girls, and he smiled. “Besides in two days, you’ll have your friends here and probably will have long forgotten me,” he winked, secretly hoping that wasn’t true. “Not likely,” she said with a sad tone to her voice. “My Aunt thought you were a lot of fun to watch.” “We should talk about that huh?” “My Aunt? Why, did the two of you hook up?” Tessa laughed.
“No, she fed me,” he laughed, “No… on a serious note I wonder if that’s why I feel so…well holding you is comfortable to me. It just feels… I don’t know.” “It feels comfortable, not awkward like it’s happened before. And it has,” Tessa giggled. “Very comfortable,” he hugged her. “I wonder if,” she stopped. “What is it Tessa?” “Nothing, this is nice,” she smiled up at him. He looked confused, and she put her head against his chest, and he stiffened a bit. “My assistant Tomas will be staying at the house tonight and until I return, he has instructions to look after you in my absence.” “Really, your assistant? Is he as hot as you? And what Mr. Abraham is he to do, fill in here,” she grabbed him and kissed him. His eyes narrowed, and nose flared a bit, he looked a bit confused. “Not if he values his job or life.” “Jealous Mr. Abraham? I would love for you to remember that feeling while you’re away on business,” she said with a teasing tone in her voice. “Why would you want that, I don’t understand?” he was clearly agitated and stepped back. She cocked her head to one side “I was joking, you know ha, ha funny?” “No, not funny at all,” he said and with that he threw her over his shoulder and smacked her ass. Damn that felt good, she thought. They talked a lot throughout the day. She knew his favorite color was the same as hers, blue, of course. He knew her favorite place to think was behind her parent’s farm next to the falls in the woods. She knew he liked all kinds of music but loved instrumental pieces. He knew this kind of music drove her crazy and she had the need to make up words to any Kenny G song she had ever heard. They took a long walk on the beach and ate lunch on the patio. Many times throughout the day, she was reminded that this was probably the last time she would feel like this. She tried to push those feelings aside and enjoy the hot sun on her body as she was wrapped in the arms of this sweet, sweet distraction. He couldn’t believe how at home he felt with her. He’d never felt like this before. He’d never wanted to wake up next to someone and share his day or life with anyone. He’d been with dozens of women; all fell short of what he saw in her. They all wanted to please him and be pleased by him, but it was always on his terms. No spending the night and no attachment. But Tessa… was different. To him, she was more beautiful than any woman he had ever been with. And the way she interacted with her family and even her dog made it so easy to fall for her, the fact that she wasn’t even trying made it even sweeter. Even though, she was hurting she seemed strong yet soft. Not wallowing through her past and letting it drag her under. Something he admired, something he fought to maintain within himself most of his life. They both were aware that it was nearing three o’clock, and still they sat wrapped in each other’s arms basking in the warmth of the sun. The doorbell chimed, and they stood up. He answered the door, and Tomas stood there. “Tessa, come here a minute please,” he yelled behind him. She threw a shirt over her bathing suit and walked to the door. “Tomas this is Tessa, Tessa Tomas.” She smiled at him, “Pleased to meet you.” He wore khaki pants and a maroon shirt. His eyes covered by dark glasses and his hair cut very short. His response was very professional, “Likewise ma’am.” Tessa laughed, “Its Tessa, Tomas; Ma’am makes me sound way too old.” He nodded his head and took Collin’s bag to the black SUV. Collin grabbed Tessa and sat her on the counter and hugged her tightly against his body. He smelled her hair and kissed her head. “I’ll be back on Saturday, please don’t put yourself in any
danger. I want to spend more time with you.” He kissed her head and held her tight again. “Fly safe Collin. Please let me know when you’re there,” was all she could bring herself to say. As he walked out the door, he patted Leia’s head and said, “See you soon, girl.” She sat there for a moment and memories of her childhood flooded her. Her Mom would line them all up to kiss their Dad when he left on the truck. They all said the same thing as they kissed him goodbye, drive safe, we love you. Ok, Tessa get down and get busy, no time to sit and feel sorry for yourself. She jumped off the cold counter and grabbed a pen and paper from the drawer below where she sat. She made a list of things she would need to turn the patio and yard into the oasis it should be. She grabbed a bottle of white spray paint from the closet and walked outside. She carefully drew with the paint where she wanted things to go. When she was finished, she got dressed and threw her hair into a ponytail. Collin’s white hat set on the counter, she grabbed it and threw it on dragging her ponytail through the back. If anyone ever saw me in this thing they would die, or kick my butt, she laughed to herself. She grabbed her keys and put Leia on the back porch. She punched in home improvement into her GPS and headed out to collect the things she needed. *** When Tessa returned, she saw Tomas sitting on the back steps of Collin’s house. She waved, and he waved back. She opened the back of the Jeep and began carrying in bags of top soil and mulch. Tomas appeared in her backyard bringing bags down as well. “Thanks, Tomas,” she said, “you don’t have to do this.” “Yes Ma’am I do,” he responded. “Well then if I am to allow it you better call me Tessa,” she smiled. He nodded and went back up the yard to make another trip. When everything was unloaded, she looked around and smiled. Busy work she thought, exactly what I need. She went inside to grab some water, and when she returned, Tomas stood in the same spot. “Is that all Ma’am or should I stay and help?” She handed him the water, “No sir that’s all, this is all mine. I’m going to enjoy it.” He drank the water and excused himself and walked next door. She got busy digging out her beds and planting her lilac and butterfly bushes in the yard, being careful not to take up the entire area in which the kids and dogs roamed. She started on the patio, potting magnolias and daisies and mixing them with various flowering blue grasses. She headed to the back porch and carefully hung the window boxes and planted them with marigolds and different greenery. At 7:30 she heard her phone ring, she wiped her hands and looked at the caller ID, and it was Collin. “Hello Collin” she answered “How did you know it was me?’ he asked with a smile in his voice. “I am pretty sure you know the answer to that,” she laughed “how was your flight?” “It was good.” “Collin where are you?” “New Jersey,” he answered. “Oh, I see, well I hope you’re alright. I mean well have a good time I guess.” “I’ll be back shortly, I promise,” he said quietly. They ended the conversation and Tessa was feeling very uneasy. New Jersey…uugghhh!. Was he seeing one of his no strings partners? Did she overwhelm him with all the talk, would he come home the same? She was almost in tears when she realized how deep her feelings for him were. She closed her
eyes and remembered that it would all be ok. She needed to figure out what she needed before worrying about bringing someone else into this. Her sweet distraction was no doubt a gift from above, how long it was hers to enjoy only God knew. She went in and drew a bath, and soaked for a long time. Her eyes were getting heavy, and her muscles finally relaxed, she got out and threw on her robe and let Leia inside. They walked upstairs, and she grabbed a tee shirt and threw it on and went to bed. She could smell him on the pillow he had laid his head on for the past two nights. For a moment, she smiled and then realized he may very well be on the pillow of someone else’s bed right now. She shoved her thoughts away, said her prayers, and fell asleep. The next morning she woke and immediately became angry and put on her sports bra, socks, panties and shorts, and ran. Her body was still very sore from the previous days work. The burn felt good, and she ran until she couldn’t run anymore. She and Leia walked up to the house and waved to Tomas as she opened up the gate and walked into the oasis she created the day before. She grabbed a drink of water on the counter her phone flashed with missed messages and missed calls. Collin had left a voice mail. “I just wanted to say good morning.” The next was a message from him: “How was your run? Am I safe to assume you won’t be limping when I return in two days? I didn’t sleep well last night, my arms were empty. Yours better have been as well.” She texted him: - Run was great, my night sucked, busy day ahead, my girls will be in tonight Collin immediately responded: - Will you be staying in tonight? If not Tomas could take you wherever you need to go, in fact, I would feel much better if he did. She responded: - Well, I’m not sure, but I think we will be fine. She threw her phone and went outside. She wanted to plant some climbing rose bushes on the side and back of the house, and so she did. She dug and planted. She saw that there were a lot of extra plants and thought of Collin’s bare deck and decided she would spruce it up a bit. She filled four deck boxes and carried them each over. She told Tomas what she was going to do, and he helped. She filled a large empty ice bucket with soil, flowers, and plants. She set it beside the back door. She sat back and looked at her work. Needs more she thought. She ran next door and looked at the clock on her phone, okay 10am lots to do before they get here. She showered and dressed, brushed her teeth and hair. She called Leia in and grabbed her phone and keys and headed out the door. She drove down the main strip and looked at the boat launch where she had completely embarrassed herself. Nice Tessa, she thought. She pulled in and parked in front of the hardwood store. She grabbed the boards to make a sign and some paint. She saw some buckets that were galvanized like the one she had potted plants in at Collin’s, she grabbed three. She checked out and asked directions to the grocery store. She walked through the store and grabbed a few things she needed for the girls retreat over the next few days. As she drove down she saw a church that looked familiar. Memories of her summer here with Aunt Ann flooded her mind, not realizing it she pulled into the driveway and sat and looked at it. She remembered a week she spent attending VBS here. She read the sign and heard a tap on the window. “Hello Miss, can I help you?” “I am sorry I was just remembering a summer I spent here with my Aunt, and this is where I spent a lot of my time. Her name was Ann.”
“Ann Munn? Tessa… is that you? It's Pastor Lou; I was the Youth Pastor that summer, now this is my church. I also came to Ann’s the day she passed,” he smiled and opened the door to her car. “Of course, Hey Lou, it’s great to see you! This starts Sunday night? Could I help out for the week?” she hugged him. “Absolutely, how about you assist in the kitchen or music?” he said with a smile “I remember you loving the music and how your Aunt loved to watch you sing. We have someone already doing the musical segments, but she may need someone to assist. God willing there will be a lot of children in attendance.” “Great, what time should I be here?” “Starts at six so how about 5:30?” “Excellent, that’s great — I truly look forward to it. I’ll see you then,” she hugged him and jumped in the car. She drove home with a renewed look at her getaway. She was happy and ready for the next few days relaxing and laughing with friends, and the week ahead working with kids. She finished up the buckets and carried them next door, two in the front, the rest in the back. Ann would be happy to see that she was still being kind to her Joe. She ran next door and grabbed a hammer out of the closet. She nailed the pieces of wood together and painted the front white. As it dried, she marinated the meat and made salads. She danced around the house with Leia to Casting Crowns and Pearl Jam, odd mix but hey… It was six, and the girls would be here in less than 2 hours, she decided to finish the sign. She carefully drew a cabin and wrote the words on the sign. She let it dry as she filled the beverage coolers with wine and beer. Once it was dry, she hammered it into the landscape and placed a few solar lights around it so that it would light up at night. She stood back and smiled. She decided to take a quick shower before they got there. She felt good and finished dressing just as the minivans pulled in. She could hear Leia tapping around on the floor doing her happy dance. She looked out the window them all and laughed out loud as ran down to greet them. *** Phoebe parked and jumped out and hugged her! “It’s been less than a week you’re all baby.” “Well, look at you all skin, bones, and boobs!” Phoebe laughed and rubbed her belly, “the weight you’ve lost we found.” “You look gorgeous and happy. I’m so excited seven more weeks, right?” “Hey Tessa,” Jessie hugged her. “I rode in a minivan for 7 hours listening to those two talk about vaginas and breastfeeding the entire way, you owe me! We’re going out this weekend got it!” Jessie was shorter than Tessa and had bobbed brown hair and deep brown eyes; her mouth was so beautiful, she had the fullest lips you could ever imagine. She hadn’t known Jessie as long as the others, but they knew each other enough through Lucas’s football friends Jessie was dating one of Lucas’s friends. Jade opened the sliding door and looked amazing. Her flowing black hair and big green eyes were gorgeous. “I’m ready to have a great time are you?” Jade hugged her. Tessa smiled “Of course!” Molly, Kendall, Sarah, Cassidy and Becca all piled out of her sisters black minivan. Molly looked anxious. “You okay?” Tess asked her older sister. “I’m just a little nervous about leaving Sydney with Mom and Dad, but it’ll be fun,” Molly said with a smile.
They unloaded the vehicles and went inside. They all chose their rooms and threw on their suits. They decided they were all going to catch the last hour of sun. Sarah and Kendall set the table as Molly and Cassidy helped Tessa get the food off the grill and set out the salads. They all sat around the table and made plans for Friday night. “So, where are the dresses ladies?” Tessa asked with a smile. “Are you sure this is what you want to do this, Tessa?” Kendall asked. “Absolutely,” she said with a big smile. They were all dressed in their floor length black strapless gowns and standing on the patio when Tessa emerged with her long Ivory princess waist dress. She laughed anxiously when she saw them all staring at her. Phoebe had her camera and began snapping shots. “This isn’t a funeral ladies it’s a do- over! Once these are gone there will be nothing physical left to remember my near fatal mistake,” Tessa laughed. “Phoebe where is the tripod I want group shots.” They all stood and did various poses and drank. One with them all bending over showing cleavage, several Charlie’s Angels poses like they had done at Prom, another as they lay in a circle with all their heads together. They were having a blast! She was so glad they were here. She looked over and saw Tomas standing on the deck watching them. “Hey, Tomas I could use your help over here,” Tessa shouted. He came over immediately, and she asked him to take some photos. He looked very uncomfortable but agreed. “Ladies this is Tomas, he’s going to help us out,” Tessa yelled to the girls all half in the bag. They walked down to the water, and he took a bunch of shots as they threw water at each other. Finally, they all carried Tessa out and tossed her in the water. They laughed and swam with the sun going down behind them. “Hey Tomas, how about firing up that hot tub, we could all use some warming up?” Kendall yelled. Tomas went next door and did as he asked. He came back over and was on the phone as he lifted the cooler and brought it back to Collin’s deck. Phoebe grabbed the camera as they walked over to the neighbor’s house. 90’s music was playing, and Tomas handed them all glasses of wine. The girls all decided to remove their dresses and get in with just their undergarments on. Phoebe asked Tomas to take shot’s and he looked completely uncomfortable. “No, Ma’am, I won’t. If you need anything else I’ll be inside,” he scurried into the house. The girls all took turns taking pictures as they all got in. They drank and laughed the Ross girls made up their own words to every song that came on. “Check this out, you’ve been busy doing landscaping over there and he has here,” Sarah said. “Wow, did you do it together?” Kendall asked as she laughed. “No, Kendall,” she scowled as she looked at Phoebe, Molly, and Sarah, who were all laughing under their breath. Jade smiled coyly “Do tell sisters, come on we would love to know what our little Tessa has been up to for the past week with Tomas, who does anything she pleases.” The girls all burst out laughing. “It’s not Tomas, by the way, who the hell is Tomas?” Phoebe asked dangling her feet in the water. “Tomas works for Collin and is house sitting while he is away,” Tessa gave her sisters as look saying one more word and I will kick your asses. “House sitting or Tessa sitting?” Kendall asked. “I don’t know what you think is going on, but nothing has happened. Ok well, maybe not nothing, he is an amazing kisser and hot as all hell. But his little business trip, so not a business trip,” Tessa explained. “I heard him on the phone with some woman and he said ‘Not here I’ll meet you, I miss you too’ in his sexiest Collin voice.”
“I don’t know he was pretty into you, holding your hair out of the toilet as you blew chunks last week,” Sarah giggled. “Well, he has taken care of my drunk ass again since,” Tessa confessed and started laughing. “Tessa!” Becca said, “How much are you drinking nowadays?” “A lot,” she began to laugh, they all laughed along. “No, seriously Becca… I just can’t stand to be around him sober. I don’t feel like I’m even on the same playing fields as he is. He is major league hotty, no joke,” Tessa confessed. “Major League, huh?” Jade laughed, “As opposed to National Football League hotty? You’re a sports whore Tessa!” Tessa laughed out loud. “Seriously he can’t be that good looking. I mean you’re used to Lucas,” Jade laughed. “No I don’t think Collin plays sports,” she started to laugh, “But I bet he would kick ass at naked twister.” Becca looked at the sisters, and they all shook their heads and said at the same time, “Great View” and laughed uncontrollably. “Holy Shit,” Jade said, “that must be why all our men are drunks… they just feel inferior when they are around us.” They all laughed. They stepped out of the water and grabbed the towels Tomas had left. He had hung their dresses on the railing of the deck. “Tomas good night, and thank you,” Tessa yelled in. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning for our dresses; can we please leave them here to dry?” “Yes Ma’am” he yelled from behind closed blinds. “Come out; come out wherever you are Tomas! Don’t be afraid, we don’t bite” Jade called to him. Becca grabbed Jade’s hand, “Behave you’re not even drinking and you act like this!” “Some of us don’t need an excuse to loosen up girl,” Jade laughed at Becca. They all went next door giggling like they had done together forever. They cleaned up from dinner and went inside to get their pajama’s on. Phoebe grabbed her laptop and popped in the SD card as they all gathered around to look at the pictures. There were so many great shots. They started at the end and worked their way back. They laughed and giggled at the pictures. “Please,” Becca warned “None of me on facebook, my parents and husband would flip out!” They kept going back until they came to the ones from last weekend, when the family was all together. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. Holy shit Tessa he isn’t just hot he’s — beautiful,” Jade said as she saw the pictures of them on the lounge.”And he is looking at you like he is ready to take you right there.” “Well Jade… he didn’t.” “Yeah…that would have been a bit uncomfortable,” Kendall chimed in. “You think those are hot, check out these ones,” Phoebe skipped back to the ones he had taken... They were all focused on Tessa close up as the pictures progressed. He took so many. Tessa’s phone chimed and she had a missed call and a text from Collin. Jade grabbed the phone, “Who might that be,” she teased. “Collin…. oh Collin, he says,” “Jade,” Tessa said as she grabbed the phone away from her. She read his message. - Tessa hope you’re having a great time with your friends, behave! She replied
- Having a great time, don’t tell me what to do! Goodbye…..stay safe. “Behave, seriously he told me to behave, he is out of his mind,” Tessa pouted. They all stared quietly, and she saw them, she smiled. “Ladies, we are going out tomorrow night and coming back here and throwing a big old dress burning party…behave, seriously!” They all laughed. They all made their way to bed and woke at noon the next day with pounding headaches. Jade opened the fridge and grabbed the OJ, she popped the cork on a bottle of champagne and everyone moaned. “Seriously have you learned nothing from the boys? This shit actually works,” Jade handed out mimosas. “Wish I could join, but fetal alcohol is not something I wish to deal with.” Tessa made toast and cut up fruit; they carried everything out to the patio. They sat and ate and chatted about family and work, and then about their men. “Damn girl,” Phoebe said, “That is one sweet sign.” They all looked at the sign Tessa had made and laughed, it said, “DOE CAMP.” “Lucas and I may not be together, but we are. No matter where we go or what we do, I hope we can all remember that.” Tessa smiled. “You mean who we do” Jade laughed, and they all laughed together. “Are we ready to have a good time tonight?” Kendall yelled they all responded hell yes. “Phoebe and I will be driving,” Becca said drinking her water and popping a Tylenol “I don’t much care for feeling this way again tomorrow.” The girls laughed and cleaned up. Tessa, Molly, Kendall, Cassidy, Jessie, Sarah, and even Becca drank mimosas and lay in the sun. Tessa’s phone rang, and Jade answered it. “Hello, this is Jade, Tessa’s assistant and stunt double for the weekend,” Tessa laughed “May I ask who's calling? Oh Collin, she’s right here, but if she gets all weird on you, just tell her to give the phone back to me, I can help you out.” Tessa grabbed the phone from Jade and got up and walked in the house away from the laughter of all the girls. “Hello,” she said. “Tessa you don’t sound good, are you ok?” he seemed very bothered. “I’m actually very good. We’re going out in a few hours, do you know any good singles bars in the area, with music? We want to dance tonight,” she asked sarcastically as she walked outside and sat next to the girls who were listening intently. “How long have you been drinking. Tomas said you all put on quite a show last night, I think you should stay in,” he was angry and she laughed at him. “You know what; I really don’t think it’s any of Tomas’s business. I didn’t realize he was my father. I will not be staying in. I’m going to be taking a business trip tonight, you know blow off some steam,” she went on “So you enjoy yourself as I’m sure you have the last three nights. I’m going to be shaking my ass with my girls all over town!” she ended the call, and they all laughed. “Well, if you’re going to be shaking your ass Miss Tessa, we’d better get started on Dolling you up,” Phoebe giggled. “I will be in charge of hair and makeup this evening, not sure you’re in much shape to do that.” They all laughed and started to head inside. “Tomas!” Jade yelled across the yard “You’ve been a very bad boy. When I get home, I’m going to huff and puff and blow that door in, and then I’m going to have my way with you!” Becca heard her and walked outside and grabbed Jade’s arm and pulled her in saying, “For the love
of God girl — behave yourself!” Tessa ignored several calls from Collin and finally turned her phone off and tossed it on the counter. They were all ready, and looking good. Short dresses and heels. They piled into the minivan, Jade and Phoebe grabbed straw floppy cowgirl hats they had bought for the bachelorette party and handed them out to all the girls. Tessa laughed and put hers on her head. It was 8pm when they pulled into the first place. It was a small seaside bar, a DJ on the deck. They drank fruity frozen cocktails with umbrellas in them. A few of the guys told them about a bar that would be hopping to in a couple hours, a Metallica cover band was playing. They decided to hit a karaoke bar on the way there. They all sang Tessa’s favorite Abba song together and laughed. They danced for hours Tessa led as they followed. Jade looked into the back of the bar and could have sworn she saw Tomas, she whispered in Phoebe’s ear. “Hey is that Tomas? I think he wants me,” Jade laughed. They decided it was time to leave and head to the club that they were told about earlier. They walked in, and it was packed, they found a table next to a small stage that women were encouraged to dance on. Tessa laughed. “I’m going to be up there tonight, and you Phoebe are coming with me,” Tessa hugged Phoebe and tossed back a shot. In less than 30 minutes, six of them were on the stage dancing their fool heads off. They had a group of young men gathered around them drinking and staring. The girls thought it was hysterical. They got down to give some others waiting a turn and made their way to the back of the dance floor. Their admirers followed. They danced with each other and the men laughing and having a great time. A cute guy kept trying to dance with Tessa, and she would smile and shake her finger. “No, No, No,” she would say. He was persistent but finally gave up and walked to the bar to get more drinks. Tessa glanced at the table behind her and saw him sitting there. Ok, Tessa you’re drunk and obviously seeing things, she squinted and looked again, and he glared at her and crossed his arms. Tessa yelled to Sarah. “Ok doesn’t that guy look like Collin?” she said laughing “I am soooo wasted!” “No Tessa that is Collin” Sarah laughed. They all turned to look and he just stared at her, his eyes not leaving hers. Someone grabbed Tessa around the waist and began to dance, she turned and faced him, and it was No, No, dude. She was annoyed. She grabbed his arms and lifted them over his head and pushed him against the back wall, swore at him a few times before she turned to walk away. Collin turned his white hat around and like a storm, he blew past her, Tessa turned and grabbed his arm he stopped and picked her up and set her on the bar stool and kept walking. She jumped and ran and got between Collin’s arm and No No’s face. “Collin don’t, please don’t, I already took care of it.” “Beg me,” he said looking at her, his eyes irate and dark. “Please don’t, Collin,” Tessa asked quietly. “What?” he snapped. “I said please don’t,” Tessa repeated herself. “Are you begging?” he asked and she shook her head yes, “That’s twice.” He was angry, beyond angry; his eyes were wide and crazed. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. He turned towards the girls who stood watching as their jaws dropped. “Ladies,” he said, “who’s driving?” They pointed to Jade and Phoebe.
“Good, she’s had a long night. She’ll be leaving with me. Tomas is the car out front? Please see that these ladies get home, soon!” he walked out. They all followed. He placed her in the car and shut the door. They all stood watching. She pushed the button and locked the doors. He tapped on the glass. “Tessa, open the door,” she shook her head no “Tessa open the fucking door now!” Tessa flipped him off. “Are you begging, Collin?” she asked mockingly. “I am going to ask you one more time to unlock the door and then I’m going to smash the fucking window in,” she glared at him and he back at her. She pushed the button and unlocked the door. She looked out the window at the girls and started laughing. They all laughed too. He peeled out of the parking lot and ran his fingers through his hair. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw them following close behind. She reached for the radio and turned it on it was Kenny G. “No shit,” she went to turn the channel. He pushed her hand away. “You need to calm the fuck down, this may help you out a bit,” he growled. “So while I’m away you get loaded, and strip in front of my assistant! Do you think I want him looking at what I have been resisting for the past week now, what the Fuck Tessa?” Tessa began to sing along in tune with the wordless music. “Collin’s mad and I’m drunk that’s kind of weird, I am going to throw up if you don’t pull over dear.” Tessa went on; he downshifted and pulled off the road. The minivans followed suit. She opened the door and got out and ran and jumped into Phoebe’s van. “Go now,” she yelled. Phoebe pulled out. Tessa pushed the button and opened the moon roof, Collin was right behind them. She stood out of the moon roof lifted her hands in the air. Her hair was blowing wildly in the wind. She kept her hands in the air as they drove the wind felt good the fresh air welcome. He was close enough that she could see his eyes, and he was pissed off, more so than she had ever seen him. I’ll show him she thought and she undid her bra and let it go. She then lifted her dress and flashed him. She blew him a kiss and then sat down. Jade and Kendall were laughing so hard they thought they would wet their pants. Phoebe pulled into the parking area. And the van stopped. They got out as he pulled up behind them. He walked by and again grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. He walked into his house and set her on the counter. She raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her. “I had my bra on last night, I was with my girlfriends, and Tomas is someone who you trust enough to let stay in your home, alone. He didn’t see my tits, I am not a whore! You managed to make me feel like one with this shit tonight. You went away, I heard you on the phone that night on the boat don’t come here I will come to you, let’s see, I miss you, a business trip? Doesn’t sound like business to me!” The kitchen door swung opened, and without looking he snapped, “We’re busy!” “Sure we’ll see. Hey Tessa, you ok?” Jade asked in a silly cute voice. “I am Jade, Collin, Jade…. Jade, Collin,” Tessa said looking down smiling. Collin turned and looked at Jade and shook her hand. “Hello Jade, Tessa and I need to finish our conversation, could you please give us a minute?” he asked as he turned back and glared at Tessa. “Maybe, maybe not, Tessa is this man scaring you?” she asked in a little girl voice. “No Jade he isn't,” she tried not to laugh. “Are you afraid of him?” she asked in the same cutesy tone. “No, I am not,” Tessa started laughing.
“Do you trust him enough for me to leave you alone with him?” “Yes Jade,” Tess answered. “Do you trust yourself not to take advantage of him,” Jade asked. Tessa started laughing and hugged Jade, “Yep… I have this covered. I won’t hurt him either.” “Now you two kids play nice. If either of you need me, I will be right next door trying to seduce Tomas, who hasn’t said more than yes or no ma’am the entire night,” Jade laughed. “Nice to meet you Collin.” She could still feel his glare as she looked down at the floor. “Here’s the deal I have no reason to be getting angry at you, you owe me nothing. So I truly just want you to stop playing games with me. I can’t lie next to a man and wake up with him when there is obviously a sexual tension between the two of us. I told you I’m a mess. I’m jealous as all get out of the thought of you with another woman. Yet I just got out of a five- year relationship with a man who phoned me to tell me he was in a new relationship, and I am not angry. I hate being lied to and made a fool out of so please, I beg you, please just leave it alone. I am going to go back home next Friday. I’d be leaving sooner, but I made a commitment to an old friend. I will be out of sight out of mind, and you can go on with your no strings attached way of life,” Tessa felt a huge relief. “Tessa that’s three,” he said abruptly. “I was with my mother,” he scowled. She could feel the blood drain from her face, and she couldn’t speak. He looked at her and even though he was angry at her he thought she was the most beautiful thing on the planet. She continued looking at the ground and tried to come up with something. “Tessa, I’m not lying to you.” He grabbed her, bringing her down on his lap; he dialed his phone, “Tomas could you please tell Tessa where I was the past two days. Yes, Tomas… the truth.” He held the phone to Tessa’s ear and said go ahead Tomas now “Ma’am, Mr. Abraham was in NJ helping his mother get settled into her new place after a fire in her home.” “Thank you, Tomas, that’s all for tonight how are things going over there? Yes, she’s tenacious.” Tessa’s phone rang. It was Jade, “Hey could you ask Collin if I can take Tomas upstairs to play.” Tessa laughed, “Goodnight Jade.” Collin was looking at the ground, he looked vulnerable. It wasn’t something she was used to seeing in him. He spoke softly, “Do you believe me?” Tessa said, “I don’t feel like I have the right not to. I’ve known you for…” “A week and two days, Tessa,” his eyes stared at the floor. When he said nothing else, she swallowed and continued, “And in one week you’ve made me, almost completely forget about the hurt of the past five years of my life. It scares me. My heart says yes my head says no, you don’t owe me anything do you understand that? Not one thing.” Collin dialed his phone and put it on speaker; she heard the reception answer, “Sea Brook House rehabilitation center, how may I help you?” “This is Mr. Abraham how is my mother doing.” “One moment please Mr. Abraham.” “Hey, Collin this is Jim, is everything alright you left today and seemed very tense?” the man said. “Everything is fine now Jim, how is my Mother?” “She’s good, sleeping now. I think it was a good step for both of you that you were here to see her and help her through the first few days of detox. Will you be back next week?” He asked. “Maybe I will call back in a couple days, thanks, Jim,” Collin hung up the phone and looked at Tessa finally. “Do you believe me now?” he asked and she shook her head yes. Tears began falling from her face immediately.
“Then maybe it’s your heart you need to listen to and keep your head out of it,” he grabbed her face and kissed her. With his tongue, he asked for her mouth, and she allowed it. She climbed onto his lap and kissed him harder. She wanted to make him forget all the events of tonight, she wanted him to know she believed him. He pulled away. Collin took her face, “Tessa you have a feisty group next door who needs to know you’re ok. I’ve acted like a Neanderthal in front of them and think we should go over there and let them see that you’re ok.” He picked her up and sat her on the couch; he stood, let out a breath that sounded an awful lot like a growl and adjusted himself. He squatted down and closed his eyes for a few minutes. “I’ll meet you there in a minute,” he groaned and looked as if he was in pain. *** “Well, look there’s our little Tessa,” Jade smiled, “Should we call an ambulance or is he going to be alright?” “He’s fine; he’ll be over in a few minutes. I’m going to go change,” she said as she skipped into the house. “Wow Tomas, what did your boss do to her?” Jade asked. “I am not sure Ma’am but I see she is fine,” Tomas said. When Tessa came outside, he was sitting with jeans and a Hoody on surrounded by her friends being grilled. They had given him a beer and he was drinking it down pretty fast. “So Collin, how long have you known Tessa?” Jessie asked. “Just met last week,” he answered and flashed that smile that could melt anyone into a puddle in less than two seconds. “Sort of, this is Ann’s Joe,” Tessa smiled at him. He turned and smiled at her. He scooted back and patted the spot between his legs as she walked out. She sat, and he let out a deep breath. “So Collin, are you married, divorced, have any children?” Jade asked. “No none of the above,” he another long drink of his beer. “Do you go to church?” Becca asked. “No, not recently I did as a child,” he answered, “Just been really busy the past few years.” “What do you do for a living?” Sarah chimed in. “I’m a doctor, MD, but recently I have been working in the research and development field,” he answered. “How old are you?” Molly asked looking shocked. “I’m 28,” Collin answered. “No shit,” they all said at the same time. He smiled, and Tessa turned around and looked at him. Tessa leaned back and whispered in his ear, “Anytime you want this to stop let me know.” “I think I’ll be alright,” he said and pulled her back, so her back was snug against his chest. “So when was the first time you wanted to tear Tessa’s clothes off and do her?” Jade asked. “When she opened the door and smiled at me, last week,” Collin said without hesitation. “So when did you two first do it?” Jade pushed. “Hasn’t happened, sorry to disappoint; Jade, right? But if and when we as two consenting sober adults make that decision, I promise to let you know,” he winked at her.
There he was… the haughty Collin has now shown up to play Tessa thought. “Will you videotape it for me?” she asked. “Probably not, just not my thing,” he retorted. Kendall handed him a beer, and he drank it down fast. “What is your thing?” she asked. “Tessa is my thing, but not until she’s ready,” he answered. “Okay, let’s change the subject… Jade!” Tessa glared at her. “Have you all introduced yourself to Collin?” The sister’s chimed in “We have.” And he smiled at them “Molly, Cory’s wife and mother to the beautiful Sydney. Kendall future world traveler, Jose is your guy, right? Sarah, Jake’s girlfriend. Phoebe Alex’s wife. How am I doing so far?” They all smiled. “I’m Becca, wife of our youth minister, Joshua,” she introduced herself. “I’m Jessie, friend,” Jessie said. “I’m Jade married to Ryan. I’m a therapist and a mother of two and a half,” Jade rubbed her belly. “Nice to meet you all,” he said, “I should apologize about earlier.” They sat and talked as Collin’s finger rubbed gently up and down Tessa’s arm. It didn’t go unnoticed and Tessa was a little uncomfortable worried what Jade might say. Tessa stood up, “Time for the bonfire ladies.” They all threw their dresses into the fire Tessa went last. “Out with the old,” she said, and they clinked glasses. Everyone except Jade and Jessie went to bed and Tessa was falling asleep curled up in Collins lap. Jade and Jessie were showing Collin the pictures they took the day before. “She looked beautiful in her wedding dress,” he stroked her hair. The two girls kept looking at the pictures, and they came to the ones he had taken. “Collin, these are the ones you took,” Jade smiled. “Oh, I don’t think those were mine, but whoever took them seems to have a real thing for Tessa,” he kissed the top of her head without caring who saw him. She wrapped her arms around him she fit perfectly against his body, she fell asleep. They smiled at each other knowing their friend was going to be alright and both fell asleep in the night air as well. It started to downpour outside, and they all woke up and ran inside. Tessa grabbed towels out of the bathroom and gave them each one to dry off. Jessie and Jade said goodnight and went upstairs to bed. Collin walked into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water and some Tylenol; they both took some and drank them down. Collin grabbed her and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry, Collin,” Tessa said again. “Tessa don’t be I get it, the fact that you have been hurt I get it. But please do me a couple favors. First listen to your heart, second know I will never intentionally hurt you, third don’t try to make me jealous, fourth never lie to me, and last never try to make me jealous.” “Collin, you said that twice.” “I know, and I mean that, I never knew what it was until now,” he said with all seriousness in his voice. “I’m going home now, I need to sleep and so do you.” “I don’t want you to leave I want you to stay,” tears formed in her eyes. “I need you to stay.” “Tessa don’t do that, you have friends here. I interrupted your night, I’ll share you tonight, but not again,” he kissed her and walked out the door. She walked upstairs and went to bed. ***
The next morning she came downstairs ready to go for a run. They were all in the kitchen talking; when she walked out they were all quiet and smiling. “Good Morning, ladies. Anyone want to go for a run?” No one answered and they were all still smiling, and she wondered what was going on? She smiled back. “So is that a no?” she laughed. “Ok, I’ll be back soon.” Tessa headed out the door and started to run; Leia was used to the routine now and simply followed along. She had run about 4 miles before she returned home. She walked into the kitchen and breakfast was on the counter, a huge spread. They were all standing there waiting to eat. “You hungry?” Phoebe asked. “Yes I’m starving, this looks great I will do dishes,” she said they all filled their plates and went to the patio. They all sat quietly. “Is everyone hung over? Why are you all so freakishly quiet?” Tessa laughed. “Just wondering how last night went,” Phoebe asked. “We got drunk, had a blast, Collin showed up, a little upset,” she laughed. “He and I talked, everything is fine, you all questioned him I think he passed. We fell asleep, got poured on, came inside got dry, you two went to bed he and I talked a little and he left and I went to bed that’s it.” “That’s all?” Jade asked. “Yes, that’s all, sorry,” she smiled at Jade, “What do you guys want to do today?” “The hotty neighbor came over this morning and asked us if we wanted to go whale watching, we said we would have to ask you, can we please go, please, please, please?” Jade asked. “Oh and Phoebe is really tired, I miss Sydney and Jessie has some stuff to do, so we’re thinking about leaving after breakfast, will you be okay with that?” Molly asked. “Yeah — I had a great weekend. Today should be pretty relaxing I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay, go really it’s no big deal. Are you rested enough to drive?” Tessa asked. “We'll be fine Tessa, as long as you’re ok,” Molly began to tear up. “Molly I’m great! Sitting here in our families’ beach house with friends and family, and the view is great,” she smiled, “I truly am great.” They finished breakfast and helped pack the car, Collin was outside helping load the van. He hugged Molly and Phoebe and nodded to Jessie as she got in the car and waved as they drove off. He turned and looked at Tessa. “How was your run?” he asked. “Quite boring,” she said, “you should have come with, I would love to actually run with you some day. You’ve run with my dog what am I chopped liver?” she laughed. “I need to talk to you about something. Would you come over for a few minutes?” “Sure just let me tell the girls,” she said turning around. He gently turned her towards his house, “Already did.” She looked over her shoulder and saw them all lined up waving and smiling and she laughed.
CHAPTER SIX They walked into the house, and he took her to the couch he squatted down in front of her and took her hands. “Please don’t sit like that. Reminds me of every time I have disappointed you, it’s your frustrated position,” Tessa said with an apprehensive smile. He let go of her hands and rubbed his legs, he stood and paced, “Ok I’m going to tell you something that may upset you, I’m upset by it. And I’m pissed off that… “ Tessa interrupted him “Please just tell me, whatever it is I know I have done to myself. I know you don’t do this sort of thing, and I won’t be upset.” Collin rolled his eyes, “It’s nothing to do with me and you Tessa alright just listen. Last night when I left here I opened my bedroom window; it's 10 feet from your back porch, Jessie was arguing with someone. She said the name Lucas several time’s, so I walked to the window. I only heard one part of the conversation, so I wasn’t sure what was going on. When things got mushy, I walked out my back door, and she saw me. She got off the phone pretty quickly. I called her over she came without hesitation. I asked her to tell me what was going on. She started crying and said she and your ex were together and had been since you two split, she said she didn’t mean for it to happen. She was looking for sympathy that she would not be receiving from me. I asked her why she bothered coming and she said she didn’t know and cried more. I told her I think it best if she left in the morning. So this morning, I heard them all in the kitchen, by the way, I came back here last night to make sure you were ok and ended up falling asleep in your bed. Anyway, I went down and asked her if she planned to tell them, and she did. Your sisters decided that it would be best if she left, partly because they wanted to kill her and partly because Jade actually tried to go after her. Are you with me?” he asked she shook her head, and he continued. “So your sister got on Facebook and checked out his page? I don’t know much about it, but his thing said he was in a relationship with her, and there were graduation pictures, of your graduation I’m assuming, and he was kissing her neck? Tessa again… this is way out of my league. This whole relationship thing — but I need you to tell me what I can do to make this better for you, because what I really wanted to do is let Jade loose on her.” She sat there silently for a few minutes, and he stood and waited for her response. She finally took a deep breath and smiled at him. “Do you know I was supposed to marry him today?” he looked sadly at her and he shook his head yes “Wow, I’m so glad I called it off.” She sat and looked dazed. He asked her if she needed a few minutes alone and she didn’t, he asked her if it was alright to hug her and she shook her head yes. After a few minutes, she put her arms around his waist and asked him if it was okay that they went back to her place, and he took her hand and they walked over together. They all stood in the kitchen and she felt like she was walking into a funeral. She giggled and covered her mouth, looked down and shook her head. She started to laugh — she looked up, and the look of terror was on all of their faces which made her laugh more until she was laughing so hard her stomach hurt. Jade was the first to join in, then her sisters until they were all laughing so hard they could not breathe. She looked at Collin, and he looked completely bewildered. Tears started coming down Tessa’s cheeks, and he put his arms around her and held her tightly which made her laugh some more. Kendall tried to explain that this was sort of normal and he didn’t get it, but he shook his head and rubbed the back of her hair. “Oh, that hurt my stomach,” she said as she finally got it together. “I’m shocked and haven’t a clue
what to say except, did any of you other bitches screw my ex?” They all started laughing again. Tessa looked at Collin and smiled, “I’m not sad, I’m disgusted that she came here and wonder why. I just don’t get it, but honestly I don’t care, and that really freaks me out.” They all looked at Tessa. Jade was angry, “I told you a year ago I didn’t trust her. Dirty ass used up bitch. I wonder what that car ride home must be like, thank God for Becca or she would be screwed.” They all laughed. “Let’s not waste this beautiful day. Don’t we have a boat to catch?” Tessa giggled. They went and grabbed their beach bags, and Collin loaded the cooler. Kendall threw him the keys. “You’re driving a minivan today,” they all laughed as he grabbed the cooler as and walked out the door still conflicted about the scene he had just witnessed. As they drove her phone rang, and it was her sister. “Tessa, how are you?” Molly asked. “Honestly, I’m fine, are you ok?” “Except that I’m stuck in the car for the next six hours with her, I just hope you’re ok.” “It’s just funny, sad kind of, for them, not me. I want him to be happy, good Lord I want her to be happy, I just wish it wasn’t so — dirty you know? I want to know why she came here.” “I can ask her,” Molly snapped which was totally out of character for her. “No, don’t. But please let her know I forgive her. He wasn’t my husband, he was a live in, not the way it’s supposed to be, probably why it didn’t work out. I love you Molly thanks for taking her home, Jade may have done unspeakable things to her” she laughed. “Drive safe and kiss my niece for me.” Collin heard her and was happy that she was really alright. He grabbed her hand and held it stroking it with his thumb lightly all the way to the pier. They walked to the boat with their arms around each other as the others followed. “You seem very strong Tessa, but I need to know that you’re ok.” “She will be fine; one of her BFF’s is a shrink. If that doesn’t work, there’s always this” Jade giggled as she held up a bottle of wine. “And if they fail there is always this,” Jade took Tessa’s hand and placed it on his backside and smiled as she fell back with the others. “She is a treat,” Collin says, “How long have you known her?” “Forever, she’s my cousin. We’ve been through a lot together,” Tessa answered getting lost in thought. They walked on the boat, and the Captain greeted them. They all made their way to the back and Jade handed out drinks. Tessa looked up at Collin and asked if he would like one, he shook his head no and flared his nose as he ran his fingers through his hair. She drank a couple glasses of wine and chatted with the girls, he stayed up front with the Captain. “What’s with him?” Sarah asked. “Emotional overload,” Jade replied “Not all men are like our guys.” “That’s because they weren’t raised with us,” Kendall laughed. Tessa looked at him and smiled, she thought of the night on the patio when he revealed his family life and opened his heart to her. Unlike most people, including her, he didn’t wallow in his misgiving; he made a decision to not become a victim of the cycle people tend to fall into. He studied his ass off and made a good life for himself. He was kind of amazing. Tessa stood up and walked to the front of the boat where Collin stood next to the Captain, she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into his back. He turned towards her and the Captain walked away giving them some privacy. “How are you doing? You girls having fun?” he smiled. “We are- — thank you so much for doing this for us.”
“For you Tessa, I’m doing it for you,” he leaned down and kissed her head. He hugged her and looked to the back of the boat where her friend and sisters sat watching them all with puppy dog eyes. When they realized he was looking, they smiled, and the sisters all giggled. Jade smirked and made a very inappropriate gesture with her hand and mouth. He smiled and shook his head. Tessa looked up at him and took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. Lost in the moment, distracted by how his kiss could melt her. He pulled away and smiled at her she looked at him and realized where they were. Her grin gave her away. “Hey, how much have you had to drink today?” he asked with sincere concern in his voice. “Three, on the fourth why?” “You are a little more free, and let’s just say I have tried for several days to keep this the way you wanted based on a conversation we had a few days ago. I’m not sure how long I can keep that up,” he forced a smile. “Are you trying to protect my virtue Collin, or trying to win a bet?” she asked with a laugh. “What do you think?” he smirked. She turned around, and he put his arms around her waist as they stood looking out across the ocean. She leaned back into him, and he pulled her hair to the side and kissed her neck gently. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “With your heart and not your head.” She turned and smiled at him, and he gazed into her eyes and thought, what has she done to me? It felt right, and for once in his life he was going to enjoy the moment and not think of tomorrow. The girls cranked the music and started to dance. Tessa laughed when she heard the eighties tune blasting, Walk like an Egyptian. Collin smiled, “Go have fun, enjoy them. I’m going to get lunch ready.” He kissed her chastely and walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen and grabbed the sandwiches and fruit that her sister had put together. Phoebe came down and used the bathroom, when she was finished she grabbed the paper plates and napkins. “Thank you for everything.” “It's been my pleasure,” he said. “Hey… I know Tessa is an adult, but she is like a sister to me. I want her to be okay Collin,” she said with seriousness in her voice. “Me too Phoebe, me too,” he looked directly into her eyes. “Besides — if you hurt her I will not be able to control what Alex may do to you,” Phoebe laughed. “I won’t I promise you — the ball is completely in her court,” Collin said, and she knew he meant it. They brought the food upstairs, and the girls sat on the floor on a blanket enjoying the food and warmth of the sun against their skin. The music was blasting and the conversations flowing. Collin watched as they smiled, chatted and laughed. He saw how much they cared for each other. He had avoided this all his life because he wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted from his goal. One in which he had attained faster than he had ever expected possible. He could see now that he had missed out on the bonds these people shared, the closeness he now desired. The girls cleaned up and started to dance as they laughed, the song changed, and Rick Springfield came across the radio. He watched their faces harden and eyes widen as they watched Tessa. He wasn’t sure what was going on until the music started. Kendall started to sing using her empty beer bottle as a microphone. “Jessie is a pig, yes she’s always been a little unkind. Lately something’s changed and hard to define, why that little skanky pig wants’ to eat the poo I’ve left behind,” they all laughed and Tessa took the fake mic next. “Yeah, she was squeezing him with those thighs, and she’s lovin’ him with that snotty I just know it,
and he’s holding his bowl every stinkin’ night, yeah. I’m glad that I’m not Lucas’ girl, I’m glad that I’m not Lucas’ girl, now can I get a hell yeah right now” she sang and shook her bottom laughing. Kendall played the air drums and Jade and Cassidy did the air guitar. They danced and sang and laughed. When the song ended they all looked at Tessa and knew, she was ok. Jade decided it was time to plug in the disc man Collin sensed it was because she wanted to be able to control the music. Tessa stopped dancing and looked over her shoulder and saw him watching her, he must think I am crazy, I must look ridiculous to him, but because she was a little tipsy she didn’t mind. She raised her glass to him, and he raised his bottle of water, shook it side to side with a smirk on his face. The captain anchored the boat and the girls looked around. It was breathtaking out there. They anchored a few hundred yards from the touristy Provincetown boats, and they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. It was an exhilarating experience beyond their wildest expectations. They saw whales, several whales, diving, swimming, surfacing, they watched as these gentle giants allowed birds to land on their heads. They watched the dolphins jump in the air and swim as they played with each other. These creatures are so massive, yet so graceful. Collin watched her eyes dance as she bent over the boat to touch the dolphins that swam beside them. She seemed so happy, almost childlike right now, and he swore each day she looked more and more beautiful. When he thought of leaving her, he felt a burning sensation in his chest. Three weeks from now he would be leaving for a month, something he had done time and again, and right now he could not bear the thought of it. He decided again to live in the moment, just like the creatures in the ocean swimming before him did. It started getting dark, and the girls went down to change into some warmer clothes. Protect them from the night air that chilled them after being in the sun all day. The captain and Collin pulled the anchor up, and they started back. Collin brought up the steamer and made king crab legs and some clams for the girls to enjoy. He sat for the first time today, and she sat on her knees in front of him with a plate of food and smiled. The girls went below deck to use the bathroom and clean up the dishes. She smiled at him as she dipped some crab meat into the butter and placed it in his mouth. Her fingers caressed his lips with every bite he received. She leaned into him and licked the butter off his bottom lip. He closed his eyes, his nostrils flared as he enjoyed this sensual exchange. He grabbed his water and drank it down rinsing his mouth as she now straddled him. He set the water down and grabbed her face and kissed her hard and deep. She felt his erection beneath her and took a quick breath and her hips moved into him. He stopped kissing her and went to grab her hips, and she took his arms and raised his arms above his head and held them back as she kissed him deeply and grinded into his erection. He tried to move his arms, and she held tighter. She began to kiss his ear, and she heard him moan and he started to stand. She grabbed his neck so she wouldn’t fall, and he took her by the waist and set her down next to him. His eyes were heat filled and wild. He smirked at her. “Tessa, you’re slaughtering me,” he reached down his shorts and adjusted himself and then bent his knees slightly and put his hands on them taking slow deep breaths. His jaw was clenched, and he looked like he was going to attack her when they heard the girls coming up the stairs. He quickly reached down and adjusted himself again not taking his eyes off of her as he heard them approaching from behind. He scowled at her and turned to avoid them and was thankful it was dark so they couldn’t see the bulge in his pants. The girls all sat together snuggled into each other, Jade was pouring their drinks when Collin returned he took Tessa’s glass and dumped it overboard. He handed her a bottle of water. “Drink this,” he turned and quickly walked away. “What was that all about Tessa?” Jade teased, “Is he playing daddy?” Tessa looked at her and smirked. “Oh, I see… when the girls were away, my little drunken Tessa wanted to play,” she laughed.
*** They got back home, and everyone was beat and pretty tipsy except Tessa and Collin. The girls disappeared into their rooms to get ready for bed and to pack up for their trip home in the morning. When they were alone, he looked at her his eyes very intensely. She tried to avoid his eyes because she was very embarrassed about earlier, turning away from him he grabbed her and pulled him against him.”What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” she smiled softly. He carried her out to the patio by her waist; she wasn’t facing him so she couldn’t see him hold on as he stomped outside. He walked over to the table and set her down, he pushed her forward, so she was bent over the table, and pressed against her, “I want you like this.” Collin picked her up and carried her and tossed her gently on the lounge and grabbed her ankles and lifted them above his shoulders as he knelt inches from her body, “I want you like this.” His voice was deep and filled with passion. He dropped her legs so that she lay flat, “I want you like this” he groaned and kissed her deeply. He stood and picked her up and sat down and pulled her, so she sat on his lap. “I want you like this,” he turned her, so she was straddling him. “I want you like this” his voice was gruff. He picked her up and sat her on the table and stood between her legs and pushed her, so she lay back, “and like this.” He said and pulled her up, so she was sitting again. He knelt on his knees and kissed her stomach and continued lower and lower until he reached her waistband and ran his tongue just behind the button, and stopped. “I’m going out of my mind thinking about how good this is going to be,” and he kissing her stomach and thighs and everywhere except where she really wanted his kisses. She grabbed his hair and moaned, and her body arched back. He stood and took her head in his hands, he heard the girls behind him and he kissed her. “Good night Tessa,” he looked behind him and yelled, “goodnight ladies.” Tessa sat there as her body exploded as it never had before. The girls walked out on the patio. “Wow Tessa, what the hell is going on?” Jade asked, “Have you been Tessa the tease? Looks like he is wound pretty tight girl, and look at your eyes, Tessa did you?” “Shut up Jade,” she answered breathlessly and felt her face turn red. “Wow, he really is the shit, huh?” Jade laughed. Tessa stood up and walked in the house and grabbed some water. “Goodnight,” her face flush and red she walked up the stairs and into her room. She could not believe what just happened, and she was still pulsing as she lay down and tossed and turned until she finally fell asleep. She woke in the morning feeling like a million bucks. She stretched and they were all sitting there looking at her. “Ok, Tessa I know we are not kids anymore, but you better spill the beans about what the hell happened out there last night. Holy shit, I couldn’t sleep just thinking about it!” Jade exclaimed. “You have got two questions, make them count,” she said still needing to stretch as she rolled to her side stood up and ran down the stairs. “Did you have sex?” she asked. “Nope,” she smiled.
“Did you orgasm?” Jade asked as if in disbelief. “Oh yes, for about 20 minutes after he left,” she covered her face and laughed out loud “That’s two.” “No way girl not fair, did he touch you, I mean your clothes were on, I’m so confused?” Jade was in utter shock. “Alright this is going to be quick, and then we will promise not to talk about it again right?” They all shhok their heads yes. “Every time I drink I come on to him. He told me one of the first nights we met that I would be begging for him before he had sex with me, he gave me a specific number of times. Five. Well I told him he would be on his knees before God and my family before he would ever have what I had to offer. Well, I don’t know if he is trying to win a bet or wants me sober, or is trying to be respectful or something. Anyway last night I was drunk and well you know nothing has happened again. When we got back here and long story short he showed me where and how he wanted me and then he licked my belly, just beneath my button, and it was over. I swear to you no hands, no heavy petting, no grinding just the thought of him is all it took,” Tessa sighed and they all did at that same time. She looked towards the door and he stood there holding a tray with breakfast for them all, he was biting the inside of his cheeks trying not to smile. Their faces all beat red as they looked down. “Good morning Tessa, Good Morning ladies,” he walked in and set the tray on the table. “Good Morning, Collin,” they all chimed in. Jade looked around, “Doesn’t that damn dog bark anymore?” “No, she now likes him more than she likes me,” Tessa said quietly. “I think I might, too,” Jade said laughing. “How much did you hear?” Tessa asked quietly. “Probably more than you wanted me to, and by the way I was protecting her virtue,” he kissed her head and walked out the door. They all laughed. Collin walked out and began gathering their bags and carried them down to the car. Jade looked at Tessa. “You look happier than I’ve seen you in years, even though yesterday was supposed to be the happiest day of your life,” she said in a way too chipper tone. “I think it was, he is amazing, so amazing that you lose yourself in just the thought of him. That’s pretty special Tessa” tears formed in Jade’s eyes, she shook her head as if she was bringing herself back into reality. “And besides if you had married that Lucas, there’s no way you would have had an orgasm like that on your wedding night.” Jade winked and hugged Tessa. Definitely, not like that she thought. They all walked outside and hugged and said goodbye, he walked inside and let them have their moment. Tessa stood and waved until they were out of sight and she walked into the back porch and sat down and pet the dog. She thought about what Jade said and knew she was right, except the no orgasm part. With everything, she was she knew that Lucas and she would have been miserable. She thought about Jessie and couldn’t be mad, she actually felt sorry for her. Lucas was a good man, good looking, hard working, but so emotionally unattached to her if she weren't right there with him, her heart never would have felt full. Collin walked out and said “Are you alright, Tessa?” “I am. I don’t think I can ever make eye contact with you after what you heard me tell them about what I did this morning, but I will be fine,” she smiled looking down. He lifted her chin, “Just so you know, it was not news to me. I knew exactly what happened last night, I could see it in those beautiful eyes and felt it in that hot, sexy body of yours.” He kissed her gently and turned to walk into the kitchen.
She followed. Collin lifted her to sit on the counter and was looking very seriously at her, “Alright, this is what’s going to happen. We are going for a run, a long hard run together, which is going to kick both of our asses. Then we will get showered and dressed for lunch. We will go to a very public place to eat. When we get home, it should be about two. We are going to take an afternoon nap. When we wake, it’ll be between 3 and 4. I’m leaving at five to fly down and see my mother; her doctor called and suggested it. You will hang out and rest and I’ll be home tomorrow night by seven and I will take you out to dinner, the next day we are going to run hard again. I may have my trainer come over, and you can learn how to box. One of my favorite releases and that is how we are going to get through this, alright is it a plan?” She laughed at him, “Only one problem, I’m volunteering at the church in town. I’m going to help at their Evening Bible School program this week.” She jumped off the counter and went into the living room, and sat on the couch he sat next to her and pulled her into him. He thought for a moment “Alright when is it?” “Sunday through Thursday from 6- 8pm. I will be there from 5:30 until 8:30,” she said with a smile, “and at their Thursday service they present a little skit for the congregation.” He looked confused, “Ok, why? I mean what brought this on?” “I have done this at my church and enjoy it a great deal. I went to VBS as a kid and really learned a lot,” she shrugged. “It makes me happy.” “Did your ex go with you?” he asked “Sometimes he went to church but in the end he said that was my thing, and I left it at that,” she said with a sad smile. “I hoped it would be his thing someday, but it wasn’t.” “It’s important to you isn’t it?” he said studying her face. “I was raised believing, I never stopped. I turned my back so that I could do what I wanted to and not feel accountable. You know you go through life thinking you know what’s best and working to get what you want or think you want if it’s not God’s plan, it’s not going to work. I spent five years working for something that started all wrong. Pleasing him and giving myself to him, every part of myself, it didn’t work. I’m grateful that I returned out to church, had I not… I wouldn’t have had the strength to walk away. I would have married him maybe had a child, and been angry at myself for not listening,” she stopped. “To your heart, to God?” he asked. “I think they’re one and the same. Sorry, that’s kind of a heavy conversation isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” he said softly. “And I feel like such a hypocrite acting the way I have been, drinking and allowing myself to go after you. I haven’t been true to what I believe or want.” He sat quietly for a long time looking at the floor, he didn’t know what to think or say. “You know Tessa, I am at a loss for words, and I feel like I'm hindering your desire to be who you want to be. I don’t want that to be the case.” Tessa felt her heart drop to her stomach, what had she done, she wanted him here “Are you alright?” he asked, “Tessa you’re shaking.” “No, I’m not alright, I feel sick to my stomach, and my head is spinning and I’m terrified that I have just pushed you away.” She stood up and ran out the door. Collin wasn’t sure what to do; he wanted to go after her but wondered if she wanted him to go away. This is why, he thought, this is why I don’t play fucking head games, this is why I don’t get involved, this is exactly why. He felt the switch turn off inside like it had done many years ago. He stood up and walked out the door and went home. When she knew he had left, she went back in and closed the door, walked up the stairs and cried herself to sleep. She woke at 4:30 to the dog barking, she went downstairs and answered the door, it was
him. He stood with his glasses on, and she wanted desperately to see his eyes. “I’m leaving. Tomas will be looking after my house if you need anything let him know,” he said very businesslike, “And thank you for the work you did on my deck.” Collin turned to walk away. “Wait, Collin, fly safe” her voice cracked. Collin stopped and turned and looked at her. Then he turned back around and walked away. Tessa hadn’t eaten since this morning, and she needed to pull herself up by the bootstraps and get her head back where it should be. She turned on some happy girl music and cleaned, she didn’t need to worry about her beautiful distraction anymore for a while. She was going to hang out with some kids and have fun, good, upbeat, praising Jesus, fun. *** Tessa walked into the church, it had changed a lot over the past few years. It seemed bigger, which is odd because as a child things always seem bigger not the opposite. She saw Pastor Lou walking over to greet her. “Hello Tessa, could I ask you to do something different tonight?” she nodded yes, “Our musical director has the flu; could you do the sing- along with the kids?” “Sure I guess I could try, don’t expect miracles though,” Tessa laughed. The night flew by; she had the older group last. They were all a bit hesitant to just let go, she understood, she couldn’t seem to be herself either around certain people. Their song for the night was one she knew from church. She decided to have a discussion about the song with them before trying to make them sing it. She asked questions and explained what she thought the song meant. They seemed to open up, and she couldn’t wait to see them tomorrow night. They ended the night with music and dance. The younger kids stood and danced and sang along, she had an absolute blast with them. She met a few women that she hit it off with, and they had planned to get together for dinner tomorrow night after VBS. She pulled into the driveway and parked in his spot, ha, she thought to herself. It’s not hurting anything, and it’s not like he would know anyway. She went in and took Leia out and tossed the stick in the water so she could burn off some steam. When they were done, she went in and soaked in the bath for a long time and went to bed. The next day she decided to check her email and return some calls. The first person she called was her Mom. They chatted, and her mother asked about Collin, her sisters spilled the beans. She explained that she had slowed that down and was getting her head back where she thought it should be. She told her about volunteering at the church for VBS, and her mother seemed very pleased. Tessa went for a very long run and waved to Tomas, who sat on the deck all day long. Leia was completely exhausted when they got back. Tessa checked her phone, and there were three missed calls from Lucas. She ignored them and decided she would put up a clothesline in the backyard to hang towels on. She worked all day tinkering when she realized she needed to get ready. After she showered and got dressed. She went downstairs and made a sandwich and grabbed her laptop, it was four thirty and was almost time to get going, she popped online and decided to check out her Facebook page. Saturday lots of people left little messages and Jade posted plenty of pictures of them on Collin’s boat, a few had him standing in the background looking in her direction intensely. Several people commented on them, and several asked about the hotty in the photo. Tessa smiled reading Jade’s responses. They varied “The First Mate,” “Her cousin… lol,” “someone they picked out of the ocean” and Lucas responded, “My replacement.” Jade followed with “You’re a dumbass Links” She clicked on Lucas’s link
out of curiosity and was shocked at what she saw. Several pictures of him with his arm around her and Jessie, he had photoshopped an X over Tessa’s face in every photo. His relationship status was “It’s complicated” and was changed on the day before they were supposed to get married; today’s last update was “seriously answer your phone!” She was so annoyed, really how redneck could one be. She was embarrassed for him. She posted, missing my girls. She logged off and pet her fuzzy friend and put on her sandals, and off she went. Tessa did the same thing tonight, music. It was the same as the night before; just a different song and she had gotten the ok from Pastor Lou to do different music with the older group. She chose Casting Crowns, a Christian Rock band that she was digging right now, they loved it. She felt a great sense of accomplishment. That was the smallest group and the one she seemed to be drawn to. She met the ladies and went to a lovely little restaurant on the water. They sat on the dock overlooking the ocean. Tessa ordered the Cobb salad, which was great. They talked about their families, and the sports their children were playing. Lily, a mother of two teenagers, asked what brought her here. She gave the edited version. They all seemed concerned, but she smiled and said “It was a leap of faith. I know it’ll all be ok.” They had the waiter take a picture on Loral’s phone; Tessa had left hers in the Jeep. They exchanged numbers and would be forwarding photos to each other. Tessa asked if she could post it for her friends back home to see so they would know she was busy and having fun. It was ten thirty at night when they left and planned to do it again Wednesday evening.
CHAPTER SEVEN Tessa pulled into the 24- hour chain store and went into the music department; she grabbed ten Casting Crowns CD’s and a couple Addison Road. She went and grabbed some clothes pins and tried to waste as much time as she possibly could before she went home. She knew Collin would be there and wanted to avoid an uncomfortable situation. It was about midnight when she finally pulled in. She saw his car and her heart dropped to her stomach again. She grabbed all her bags and sprinted to the house. Leia greeted her and they went inside. She put her bags down and grabbed the wet laundry out of the washing machine; she wanted to hang them before they started getting that funky smell. She let Leia out and she started hanging the laundry. When she was finished, she heard someone loudly clear their throat and she jumped. She turned to see him standing just as he was the first night he gave the peep show. “Someone going to pop up from behind that fence again?” she said loud enough for him to hear. “Not tonight, you want to come over and try it out?” he slurred. Uh oh, he’s drunk. “March that fine ass on over here and beg Tessa!” “Pig,” she yelled as she walked in and slammed the door. Damn it she forgot Leia, who was standing at the gate begging to go see him; she stomped out the door and ran to grab her collar. “Come on traitor,” she said dragging her very unwilling dog towards the house. “You coming over here or am I coming over there?” he laughed “Oh… I forgot you’re in church until almost midnight! Tessa you make my head spin!” “And Collin, you break my heart,” she said as she ran into the house. She went inside and slammed the door and locked it, she ran into the bathroom and began to cry. She heard a loud knock on the door “Tessa open the door.” “Go away!” “Damn it really? I know the code, I can get in if I want to,” he yelled. “If that’s what you need to do then go ahead Collin. But I would prefer…” She heard Leia tap dancing on the floor. “Where are you Tessa,” he asked tauntingly. “In the bathroom, please don’t come in.” He heard her turn off the bath water and knocked on the door. “Collin, please don’t.” He sat and leaned on the door and pet the dog. “We need to talk Tessa.” “Then talk Collin.” “Where the hell have you been all night?” he demanded. “Out with friends,” she snapped “What friends?” he sounded angry. She was amused “What does it matter?” “I want to know, who the hell were you with?” “Collin, I went to dinner with friends, and then I went to the store and bought some CD’s for the kids.” “Friends, you have friends here? Bullshit Tessa!” “Collin you’re scaring me,” she whispered. She could hear him trying to open the door, “it’s locked.” “Not for long” he popped the lock and walked in.
“Seriously, Collin,” she said as she grabbed a towel and covered herself. He was livid, his eyes red, jaw clenched, the veins popping out of his neck, “Who Tessa? Who were you with?” She stood up with the wet towel and wrapped it around her, she tried to walk out the door and he moved in her way blocking the entire door. She stood and looked at him, “Move Collin, I’m wet and cold!” Collin handed her another towel and looked up, she turned around and wrapped the dry towel around herself, tucked it into the front and turned back around, she walked toward him and he stood still. “I want you to move, Collin,” she said softly. “I want you to tell me who you were with tonight,” he insisted standing with his legs apart and arms crossed. “I already told you,” he looked hot when he was angry, she thought, seriously shouldn’t this make me nervous? She walked closer to him and stopped and looked up at him. She gently took his arms and uncrossed them, she slowly turned her back towards him and brought his arm with her, she could feel him relaxing. She could feel each hot breath he took against the back of her neck; she threw his arm up and ducked under it, and ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door in his face. “You suck, Abraham!” she ran up the stairs. She ran in her room and slammed the door, she ran into the closet and threw on a tee shirt and underpants, and he walked in. She scowled at him and walked past him. He didn’t try to stop her. He followed her down the stairs; she grabbed her phone and pushed a few buttons. She pushed past him and grabbed her laptop and sat on the couch, he sat next to her. Logging onto Facebook as he looked over her shoulder, he saw a picture of her and two women at a local restaurant, and she tagged her friend Jade in it. Your fill in, she posted. She got up and left her computer opened and went to the kitchen and grabbed the bag of CD’s and threw them on his lap, he looked in the bag. “Satisfied!” He looked at her, “Not yet.” “Collin, I’m asking you to stop playing games.” He kissed her and she couldn’t resist. He was on top of her kissing her hard, she was lost in the moment and grabbed his hair and kissed him back. She moved her head to the side and breathed several deep breaths. “Collin, please stop, please.” “Beg,” he said stopping only briefly to speak and continued kissing her neck and moving up towards her lips. “Please stop, please” she begged. He grunted “That’s four.” Collin stood up and went to walk out the door. She was so pissed she threw a water bottle at him and hit him in the backside. He stopped and turned around, he looked angry, “Did you just throw that at me?” “Well, who the hell else would you ass! I’m so pissed at you, your lucky I didn’t crack you in the head. Collin you’re an asshole, you walk into my house, break into my bathroom while I am taking a bath, talk to me like I am some pig, and try to intimidate me. You scared me!” He stood and looked at her, she could tell he was staring at her and she wiped her eyes and looked up at him, “You should leave!” Collin stood looking at her with guilt in his eyes he placed his hand just below his heart and looked confused. He let out a deep breath and then turned, walked out the door and shut it behind him. She lay on the couch and cried herself to sleep.
*** When she woke it was five in the morning, she looked at her phone and there was a message from Lucas. “We need to talk, call me.” She knew he would be awake in 30 minutes and driving to work, she was going to go for a run and then call him back. She walked outside with Leia and saw Collin asleep in the lounge chair. Leia jumped up on him and licked his face, he woke up and looked at her, and he closed his eyes and held his head in his hands. “Hung over?” she asked with one eyebrow raised. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Good,” she said and took off running. They had run for an hour before they returned home. She ran harder than she had in a long time, she didn’t leave the sand and what was normally a hard run was getting easier, she was pleased with herself. She walked past him and into the house, he was pouting. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and two Tylenol and walked out and gave it to him, he mumbled “Thank you.” She sat on the couch and called Luke. “Hey, it’s Tessa you called?” she said. “Well, I do have to say that I was not impressed with the Facebook pictures of our graduation and you hanging on Jessie and me with a big ginormous X over my face. Nor was I impressed with the pictures of you kissing her neck at said graduation…no, I am absolutely not jealous, I do, however, feel bad for Miguel… leaving me out of this… how could you do that to him? Is that why they were so hard on you in Jersey is that why you came home and I stayed and helped you until Audrianna and your sisters came?... I am over that. I get the relationship ending and even you moving on, but he was your friend Lucas!... I don’t think that’s any of your concern… I saw you wrote my replacement… Yep, I have been hanging out with him…Well, that’s nice of Jessie to report to you… That is none of your business Lucas! Listen, I’m not doing this again, we have ended our relationship. If I can get over what you did while we were together and still want you to be happy, you should have no hard feelings towards me… Yes, you did and I forgive you… No Lucas, not in a million years.... I do care about you, we spent our entire youth together, but that means this, I want you to be happy, I ask that you figure out how to want that for me… Sure Lucas go ahead and mock my beliefs, I am alright with that… I have to go Luca… no, he’s not laying next to me, and again none of your business… Lucas you don’t want the answer to that. I have to go, drive safe. Goodbye.” She hung up threw the phone down and went into the bathroom and took a shower and brushed her teeth. She grabbed her robe and put it on and walked into the kitchen. Collin stood with his arms crossed and head hung low, “I’m sorry I behaved so badly.” “I accept your apology.” Tessa walked to the stove and heated some water and got out two cups and placed tea bags in each. “What can I say or do Tessa, to make you look at me again?” he asked. Silly man she thought I enjoy looking at you. She smiled and rubbed his back as she walked by “Collin, it’s not up to me, it will be what it is right?” “I guess,” he said confused. “I just think if we are going to keep hanging out we should make a pact, honesty, trust, and sobriety,” she laughed.
“I feel horrible about last night and Sunday night. I’m sorry Tessa,” he spoke with a raw sincerity she had not heard before. “Well, Sunday I was being honest and I think I freaked you out. I certainly wasn’t acting on the outside the way I feel inside. However, last night you were an insatiable ass,” she laughed. “I’m sorry Tessa,” he said and looked broken. She couldn’t stand seeing him so down. She hugged him tight for a long time. The tea kettle whistled and she let go, she saw is eyes squint in pain. “Head hurts huh?” “Just a little, I don’t drink that much normally,” he was in pain She brought the tea to the table and they sat and drank quietly. She got up and made some bagels and hard boiled eggs. He ate and watched her. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking, he couldn’t read her like he could most people. She ran a bath and told him to get in and soak; he walked into the bathroom and did as he was told. She returned with the shorts and hoody that he had made her wear the night he put her in the cold shower and placed them on the counter, she walked out and shut the door behind her. He came out bathed and dressed. She took his hand and led him upstairs to her bedroom where they lay in bed and both fell asleep. He woke and she wasn’t there. He walked downstairs and she sat on the couch playing with her computer. He sat next to her and grabbed her hand and rubbed it with his other hand. He kissed it and held it against his chest. She smiled at him and leaned into his chest. She was looking at pictures from Molly’s shower and renaming each file. He watched and learned who the people were in her life. There still wasn’t any conversation just them and their unspoken connection. She came across the pictures of her parents. “How’s your Mom Collin?” “A mess, she’s angry and drying up and not doing it very gracefully. She tried to sign herself out and I had to promise to come back Wednesday in order to get her to stay,” he said very sadly. “I’m sorry Collin, that must be incredibly hard,” she said and wrapped his arms more tightly around her. She wanted to tell him about Lucas’s mother and how she had been sober now for four years. But she didn’t want to bring him up. He felt better just being there with her. He never felt it was his responsibility to help his mother get well. She had put him through a living hell for the first 16 years of his life and she was his mother, someone who was supposed to ease his pain. He would never treat his children like that nor would he ever let anyone else. Wow, he thought, that was the very first time I had ever even considered having children. Tessa he thought, what are you doing to me? She got ready to go to the church, he watched her primp. She looked beautiful and happy. “What are you going to do when I’m gone?” she asked. “I have some colleagues coming over for a work dinner,” he said, “We have a big trip coming up in two weeks and need to get all the wrinkles ironed out.” “Sounds like a lot of fun,” she smiled. “It’s one of the few things I know I’m good at Tessa, I love my work.” “I wish I could watch you in action,” she smiled. “I wish I could go with you tonight and see what it is that makes you so happy, and meet your friends,” he said with an apologetic tone. “So when are you going to return from your visit with your mom?” “Thursday about three in the afternoon, that way I can attend three of her counseling sessions,” he looked at her hand in his. She watched as he rubbed her hand gently as it rested over his other hand. “Do you think Thursday night I can take you on a date,” she whispered. “Tessa, are you asking me out?” he whispered back.
“Are you accepting my request?” she giggled. “Will you beg me?” She raised her eyebrow and looked at him. “I wouldn’t push it.” “Yes Tessa I’d love you to take me on a date” he reached over and hugged her. “You’re going to love it, how do you feel about hanging out with one hundred and fifty little people?” “I’m going to regret accepting aren’t I,” he smirked. Tessa smiled “If you do, I will buy you dinner afterward, maybe you can meet my new friends,” she said jokingly. “By the way, we are going to have dinner and conversation Wednesday night, again. You alright with that?” “Yes Tessa. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, logically it doesn’t make sense…” he stopped. Tessa looked at him and swallowed hard, “I wasn’t trying to upset you.” Collin looked up at her and put his hand on her face and very gently rubbed her cheek. She closed her eyes and pushed into it. “You don’t have to come. I shouldn’t expect you to,” she said with her eyes still closed. “God you’re beautiful,” he whispered. Tessa opened her eyes and looked into his. He pulled her head to his chest and she felt his heart beat against her face. “I want to come with you, Thursday. More than I can even begin to wrap my head around. You need to get ready for church,” he kissed her head and released her. *** The night was full of singing and laughing, the musical director had not returned yet, she would more than likely be back tomorrow. She sang and danced with the little kids teaching them tonight’s song and the movements that went with them, they were all very affectionate and she loved seeing their smiling joyfilled faces. The older group was really into the song “What do I know of Holy” a song from Addison Road. They actually sang it with her. There was a girl whose name was Michelle when she sang it sent chills up her spine, this was a kid who you could look at and know immediately that she was without. She was about 12 and had clothes that didn’t quite fit right and she walked home with her two younger siblings every night. They lived right around the corner in an apartment building; Tessa knew because she followed them one night, she was worried they would not get home alright. Her little sister’s looked about the same, and they too were musically blessed. All three looked hungry. Tessa smiled when she thought of the boy she gave her snack to when she attended there as a child. Tonight she would stop and grab a couple bags of groceries and set them on their porch. Before she left she sent a text to Collin telling him, she was going to stop at the store before returning home and asked if he needed anything. - This damn meeting to end, and you to be home Tessa dropped the groceries and left. She returned home and changed. She let Leia out and she did her business and Tessa cleaned it up. She looked over and three women that she didn’t know and four men including Collin and Tomas sat on the deck. Collin sat at the front of the table and was clearly in control. Looking hot Mr. Abraham she thought. She was pulling weeds from her flower beds when she received a text - you are very distracting out there in that dress and bent over those flowers
- probably would distract you more if I told you I was wearing nothing under it - would you please go inside so I can pay attention - hmm, nope! She looked over and smiled at him; he shook his head yes and smiled back. “Dr. Abraham,” one of the men said and Collin continued watching Tessa. She turned her back towards him and slowly bent over the flowers again, his mouth dropped and he was now glaring at her. She turned around and winked. “Dr. Abraham.” one of the women said loudly. He turned and looked at her. “Are we finished for the night?” she asked smiling. “Just about” he replied and continued where he had left off “So we are all in agreement as to what our roles are?” They all said yes. “I’ll email you the notes from the meeting tomorrow then.” They all got up and left. He didn’t even walk them out. He waited until they all left and loosened his tie and walked to her. “Good evening Tessa,” he said. “You look beautiful.” She smiled and blushed “How was your meeting?” “It was very productive until well about fifteen minutes ago,” he smiled. “You confuse the hell out of me.” “Why?” “Here I am busting my balls to make sure we’re all PG based on what you said. Then you drop the no panties thing on me.” Tessa sat back and looked down, “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t…” “Heart beautiful. You said it was one and the same with God?” “Well yeah, but I’m pretty sure….” “I shouldn’t have said anything, please forget I did,” he kissed her neck again this time leaving his mouth open as he rubbed up and down. “Stop over thinking this. It pushes me away too, and I don’t want it to anymore.” Tessa built a fire in the fire pit and pushed him into the lounge chair. She went inside and put on a sweatshirt and pair of shorts, she grabbed him a sweatshirt and took a couple glasses of water and went outside. His eyes sparkled and danced as he looked her up and down. Her eyebrow arched and he starred in her eyes and smirked. She sat with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her hair to the side and kissed her neck. They sat quietly for what seemed like forever. Their bodies pressed together and his arms wrapped around her watching the fire as the sun set. He rubbed her leg lightly with his fingers as she stroked his arm. He lightly kissed her neck. She felt safe and happy; she could stay like this forever. She started to shiver a bit and he spoke breaking the silence. “You’re shivering Tessa, let’s go inside.” “I want to stay like this forever,” she said and he knew he wanted to as well. He reached down and grabbed the blanket off the back of the chair next to him and covered them up. She fell asleep. Collin woke when he felt the rain begin to fall, within seconds it was pouring down on them, she jumped up startled and they ran inside. They looked at each other and started laughing. His eyebrow arched and he pulled her back outside, she couldn’t believe it, he had lost his mind. He pulled her close to him and kissed her. She received his kiss as the rain came pouring down on them. He
stepped away and looked at her as she raised her hands in the air and laughed out loud. “Tessa” he yelled as she danced in circles, “Tessa — I love you!” Tessa stopped spinning and looked at him with a hurt look on her face and she began to cry. He walked to her and lifted her face so that she was looking up at him. “Tessa, don’t cry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” and she kissed him hard. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him with her hands full of his hair, He walked with her wrapped around him into the house and kicked the door closed with his foot. He gently laid her on the hardwood floor and she looked at him her chest was rising and falling rapidly. He was straddling her and she sat up and lifted his wet shirt off and tossed it aside, she began kissing his chest and neck and then back to his mouth. “Tessa,” he growled “As much as I want you, please stop, I don’t know how much more I can take.” “I don’t want to stop Collin, please,” she said as he pulled away from her. He looked at her and moved towards her, ready to take her. They heard a scratch at the door and then the dog whining loudly. He sat back up and laughed. He stood bent over with his hands on his knees and laughed a painful laugh. She stood breathless her eyes heavy with desire and walked to the door and let the soaking wet dog in. Leia began to shake and Collin grabbed the sweatshirt and covered her and began to dry her off. Tessa went and grabbed a towel and helped him. When they finished, they looked at each other and started to laugh. “I guess we are just not meant to do this” she grinned at him. He looked distant and a bit embarrassed, not a look she was used to at all from this strong, confident man who sat on the floor beside her. “Collin what’s going on, are you regretting what you said to me?” “No Tessa, I’m just sorry if it made you uncomfortable.” “Uncomfortable?” she asked, “No Collin not uncomfortable, happy, ecstatic, elated, far from uncomfortable.” “Okay,” he looked up even more confused than before. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve upset you. If it were just at the moment, I get it if you want me to forget you said it I can try, I guess,” Tessa felt butterflies in her stomach and her face turned red. “Tessa, you don’t have to act like your glad I said that I love you. I understand if you don’t feel that way about me, but I promise that you will, in time.” Tessa looked at him and started to laugh, “Oh Collin no, that’s not it.” His eyes were wide like a deer in the headlights and she moved to him. She straddled his lap and lifted his face to her and kissed him gently. “I love your lips even when they are not touching mine,” she began. “I love your eyes that seem to be able to pierce right through my heart,” she continued. “I love your perfect nose” and she kissed it. “I love your shoulders, that I’m quite sure were made for me to fall into and take comfort in,” she moved down and kissed his chest. “I love your heart that for now is mine,” she said as she looked up at his eyes that were watching her every move. “I love you Collin Abraham, and I think I have since the night we sat out there with my family, and that scares me to death.” She took a deep breath and stared into his eyes. He kissed her gently and pulled her into him “Tessa, I won’t ever hurt you, do you understand me? I couldn’t do that to you.” They sat like that for a long time and she finally looked at the clock. “Collin, it’s three in the morning and it’s been a long but perfect day can we go upstairs and go to sleep?” “Of course, anything you want.” “Anything?”
He took her hand. “Let’s sleep Tessa. I’m drained.” She went into the closet and grabbed some night clothes. He watched her as she dropped her clothes on the floor. Her back is beautiful, and she is beautiful he thought as she slipped a night shirt over her body. She stood in her panties; she turned and pushed the door a bit blocking his view. He could see her hip as she bent to remove them. She pulled on a pair of pajama pants and walked out the door. “Tessa, my flight leaves at eight I’m going to run over and grab my bags. I’ll be back in a few minutes alright?” “Uh hu, hurry back she yawned, I love you,” she said with a smile. He smiled at her and stood up and turned to walk away. “Collin, would you please say it back?” she asked softly. “Tessa, I love you,” he walked back and kissed her. *** Collin walked out the back door towards his house. He looked at Tessa’s car that was sitting lower than normal; he walked towards it and saw that all four tires had been slashed. He almost panicked as he started back towards her house; he ran up the stairs and into her room, she was asleep and safe. He grabbed Tessa’s phone off the nightstand and ignored the missed messages she had. He walked downstairs, locked the doors, and called the police. “This is Collin Abraham, I need someone down to my place now.” He hung up the phone and they were there within minutes. They took pictures and walked around the property. He was she would be safe so he ran next door to grab some clothes, his toothbrush his iPad and his phone. He had several missed calls as well. He would deal with them later, he thought as he went back next door. He sat with the police on the back patio as they told him their findings. “We dusted for prints on the car, not much was gathered but we will run what we have. Something of concern is the footprints around both of your houses, which were distorted from the rain that’s all we have Mr. Abraham. We’ll let you know what we get back on the prints.” They heard a noise inside and he looked panicked, they stood and the officers reached for their guns as she walked out onto the patio, she froze as she saw them. “What’s going on Collin?” she gasped, “are you okay?” “Yes Tessa I’m fine. Thank you, officers please let me know when you find something out.” Collin walked towards her as they left through the side yard. “Someone slashed your tires Tessa. I called the police they checked everything out and will be getting back to me when they find something out.” She looked like she was in shock. “I want to see” she turned away and walked into the house. He followed her through the house and out the door, she stood and stared at her Jeep, “Who would do this?” “I don’t know, but I intend to find out,” he took her hand and walked into the house. She started to make breakfast and he made some phone calls. “Tomas yes, I need you here as soon as you can, yes we have a problem,” He checked his messages and she put his food in front of him. “Shit” he slammed his phone down. “Collin what is it?” “My mother, she checked herself out yesterday, well sort of, she left and they don’t know where she is.” “You should go Collin and find her.”
“No, I have a feeling she’s here” he sounded weary and looked cautiously up at her. “Collin, do you think your mother did that to my Jeep?” “I do Tessa,” he dialed the phone. “Yes this is Collin Abraham, could I speak to Detective Spokes, please.” He waited “Hello I want you to run Catherine Abraham’s prints against the ones you found today, she left the rehab center yesterday, thank you. I’ll be waiting for your call,” Collin hung up and looked at Tessa. He dialed the phone again “This is Collin Abraham, could you please send a tow truck to my house. There is a Jeep in the parking lot that needs four new tires, yes thank you.” She pushed her food around on her plate, she was shocked, she felt bad for him, she could feel him looking at her and she turned to him. “Are you alright, Collin?” “No, not really, what was I thinking bringing someone into this shit,” he looked down at his plate, “Don’t eat that. FUCK!” he stood and dumped their plates in the garbage, “I should have never gotten emotionally attached to anyone.” She stood up and walked out on the patio, he followed her out and grabbed her arm. “Tessa, you will stay with me until we have some answers, it won’t take long, but you’re going to have to deal with it.” He turned her towards him and she was fighting back tears, “Tessa it’s going to be fine.” “Collin you told me you loved me last night and today you say you wished you had never gotten attached,” her tears flowed slowly and she wiped them from her face. “I wake up to cops in the back yard and you think it’s your mother. Leia killing the mood last night, it’s all too much, maybe we aren’t supposed to be together. I seem to cause you pain and confusion and that’s not what it is supposed to be like.” “Tessa I love you,” he said as he grabbed her and hugged her, “I have left the baggage behind a long time ago. She has resurfaced and brought a whole shit storm with her. I’ll fix it, and trust me, I love you. I don’t think it’s a sign, a sign from where the depths of hell?” She relaxed and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you Collin, and whatever is going on I need you to know you need to be honest with me, and I’ll help you through it, we’re in this together.” “Sir” Tomas spoke from behind them. “I’m here.” “Tessa I need you to come to my place while Tomas and I do some work. Come on Leia” he said they all walked over together. Tessa sat on the couch and pet the dog and listened to Collin give instructions to Tomas. “Detective Spokes is in charge of the case, so he is our local contact. You should call our guy in New Jersey and anybody else you have down there, get them on this. I need about five people around here, and any PI’s you trust need to be brought in, I want this over by tomorrow night.” Collin turned towards Tessa; “I have a date tomorrow night.” Collin’s phone rang and he answered, and listened he shook his head and looked down. “Thank you, please keep me posted, I am getting a few people on this here. You need to call Newark, New Jersey’s main station Detective Thort and have him fax you her latest stunt. Will do, goodbye,” he hung up. “Did you get that Tomas? Alright let’s get this ball rolling.” Tomas handed Collin a Glock 22 caliber semi- automatic handgun and Collin checked it over and stuffed it in the back of his pants. Tomas then handed him a compact handgun a Beretta and Collin put that one in his pocket. He looked up at Tessa, who looked like she was in shock. “This is a lot to deal with I know, but I promise you’ll be okay,” he turned to Tomas, “everyone you can find, I want that the bitch caught. You need to know a few things,” Collin took her hand and led her to his office. He pulled up two chairs in front of a large wooden desk and motioned for her to sit. He turned on the
monitor and Googled the name Catherine Abraham. Several links popped up. “WOMAN SUSPECTED OF ARSON.” “WOMAN SENTENCED IN SHOOTING DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER.” “WOMAN SUSPECTED IN DEATH OF HER SON.” “WOMAN SUSPECTED IN CHILD PROSTITUTION RING.” “WOMAN SUSPECTED IN SALE OF DRUGS.” “Collin, this is your Mother the one who slashed my tires?” Tessa’s voice was shaky. He shook his head yes. “Really?” she gasped. “Tessa, do you remember what I told you about her?” she shook her head yes “this is the rest of it.” “Collin you don’t have to do this,” she said. “Tessa full disclosure, open and honest. I love you, and you say you love me, but if this gets to be too much I will understand and you are free to go,” he paused, “ But not until I know she is behind bars and you’re safe.” He kissed her head swiftly “If you need to take a break let me know.” He clicked on link after link and she read and read. The woman who gave birth to this man, who she was head over heels in love with was awful. What would drive someone to do this? Catherine Abrahams was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol. She sold them to feed her habit, when she was being watched she had to lay low. The men she brought in and out of her life were drug dealers. Some of those drug dealers fathered her children. She tried to lure men in by offering up her children, Collin the youngest of the three, who were three years apart, offered himself to protect his siblings. When the older two came of age to leave and finally escaped her clutches, they ended up dead. His brother of an accidental heroin overdose, a drug Collin was sure his brother hadn’t injected himself. And his sister was shot soon after she alerted DSS to what her brother was going through, in her last attempt to get him out of there. Catherine had spent 11 years in Bedford Hills, women’s prison in downstate NY. She was released due to good behavior and because she had been deemed fit for society. It had been two hours and she had read the entire time, he finally spoke and she looked at him he looked like a frightened child. “Tessa can we take a break from this?” he asked in anguish. “Of course, we can, whatever you need,” she kissed him. They went out and she opened the fridge to make something for him for lunch. She would not be eating, her stomach sick and head pounding and spinning trying to think of what she could possibly say or do. She saw several trays of snacks and meals prepared sitting on the shelves before her. She heated the oven and put chicken parmesan in for Tomas and Collin, who were talking in the living room. “I’m going to run next door and grab a few things. I’ll be right back,” she yelled over her shoulder. “Tessa, no, if you need something Tomas will go grab it,” he insisted. “Ok, I’ll make a list, I guess.” She handed the list to Tomas and mentioned the clothes she needed for tonight being in the downstairs bathroom. “Tessa you can’t go tonight,” Collin snapped. “What do you mean? Do you think she’d show up at a church?” she saw that he was not budging and stomped to the couch and sat, “Unreal, add my laptop to that list, please.” Tomas brought her things and handed them to her; she checked her phone and had several missed calls and text messages. She opened her laptop and checked out Facebook. Lucas had sent several messages and posted a song on his wall and tagged her in it. Shinedown’s Second Chance, Time to Move on…need a few minutes, pick up your phone! Ben had commented…Seriously leave her alone asshat!
Tessa laughed out loud and her phone rang, it was Lucas. “Hello,” she said quietly. “Tessa,” Lucas said letting out a breath. “Is everything alright?” “No!” Lucas snapped. Tessa didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “Lucas, please just say whatever it is you need to,” Tessa sat back and pulled her knees to her chest. “We need to fix this…I love you Tessa,” she heard his voice break. “Please don’t do this,” Tessa whispered. “Do what? You need to come home I’ll do whatever it takes,” Lucas whispered. Tessa heard a noise in the background a knock on a door and a voice she assumed was Jessie. “Lucas you’re asking me to do something I can’t do. You’re asking me to do this with her there. I don’t have it in me anymore to make this alright or easy for you. I know it’s not my responsibility and you know it’s wrong for you to ask it of me. You have a woman there who walked away from a very long relationship to be with you. She is who you chose to get you through this,” Tessa tried to explain. “You left!” he snapped. “Lucas come on, you know better than that. I was living with you and I wasn’t enough. You have to figure this out for you. Figure you out, Lucas. That’s the only way you’re going to be better. Why don’t you go visit your sisters? You’re happier than when you’re with them. Take a break from whatever is going on in your dirty little mind, and listen to your heart Lucas,” Tessa said softly. “You’re my God Damn heart, Tessa!” he yelled. “No, I’m not and as soon as you figure that out you’ll see what I saw for all those years. You’re a great man Lucas Links the only thing standing between your hurt and happiness is you. So fix you. We are done, but it will never mean I don’t care and it’ll never mean I don’t want you to find happiness. Please… want that for me too,” Tessa wiped tears off her face. “Don’t cry, Baby,” Lucas said sadly. “I’m sad for you, you don’t want me to cry. I don’t want that for you either,” Tessa laughed, “And seriously Links stop calling me baby it pisses me off!” “Sorry. Are you sleeping with that guy?” Lucas asked. “Lucas?” Tessa gasped. “Just tell me I need to know,” he pleaded softly. “I haven’t had sex in months. Are you all better now?” Tessa snapped. “Oddly,” he laughed, “I am.” “Well, great I’m happy to have done that for you,” Tessa said sarcastically. “I think I’ll go to Jersey. You should come down Tessa, we could take a drive and go to that little spot in the woods,” Lucas chuckled. “No, I’m good,” Tessa laughed. “I know, I love you Tessa Ross,” Lucas sounded better. “Take care Lucas,” Tessa said with a smile. “No, love TT?” Lucas chuckled. “Sure Lucas, love for my friend okay?” Tessa said softly. “Thanks, baby,” he said sincerely. “Lucas call me that again, and I’ll seriously kick your ass next time I see you.” “Well then I have to say it now. If that’s how I will be guaranteed to see you again,” Lucas laughed. “I’m hanging up, go to Jersey!” Tessa laughed and hung up. Collin was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Tessa let out a deep breath. She was overwhelmed and wished she had not answered Lucas’s call. She looked up at him again his
hand was over his heart. He clenched his jaw as he looked at the ground and walked away. “Collin,” Tessa said softly. “Give me a few minutes, I need to speak to Tomas,” he called over his shoulder gruffly. Tessa responded to Jade’s text. – can’t talk right now but guess what, I heard the three sweetest words from the most beautiful man I have ever met, inside and out. He amazes me every day, been busy I’ll call you soon. She could feel his breath on her neck, she jumped and turned around. “You sure that’s how you feel?” “Are you spying on me?” her face turned bright red. “I guess I am,” he said smiling that sexy smile. “I’m not hiding anything from you, I never will. He called. I’m just used to talking him down, helping him get through it, over me,” she laughed, “I want him to be alright Collin. I’ll never go back, I don’t love him that way.” “But you said…”Collin began. “As a friend, someone I grew up with, not in love and need or want to hold my heart or me,” Tessa said softly. “Okay, new to me… but okay,” Collin said. “Did you need to talk to him because you doubt who I am? Because of what you have just learned and are knee deep in my situation?” “No! Not at all. I’m upset about the situation, but only upset because I really want to kick a woman’s ass that I have never met for hurting you. And a little because I want to be there with the kids tonight, I have grown attached to a few of them. That reminds me, I need to call Pastor Lou.” “I already did Tessa, they canceled tonight,” he said looking at the ground. “Why?” He didn’t look at her, “Collin why?” “There was a threatening note left in the sanctuary.” “Collin, what did it say” she saw him look down, “Truth, full disclosure.” “The authorities have it to build their case Tessa, but it was bad, we’re going to catch her, things will be ok.” “Collin tell me, please,” she said with pleading eyes. He took a deep breath and said “The whore with the voice is next.” Tessa’s eyes widened, “Oh.” She sat looking at the floor, “Are you okay Tessa? I’m so sorry I got you into this.” “I’m fine,” she said as she cleared her throat and gave a forced smile “So does that mean she likes my voice?” “Tessa,” he said, “It’s alright to be upset.” “It’s easier this way.” He sat behind her and wrapped his long strong arms around her waist. “When this is over I can promise you, you’ll never have to worry about her again.” Tessa knew he was serious, and for reasons she did not understand she completely believed him. “I would really like to do something to take your mind of this,” he had a smile in his voice. She leaned into him and tilted her head up, “What did you have in mind?” He kissed her and her body melted into him. She turned around and sat on his lap and grabbed his hair in her hands, gently, softly, deeply, he kissed her, and she kissed him. He kissed her neck and her ears and gently tugged at them. She took his hand and kissed it, and put it behind her back, and brought it so it sat on the small of her back. She kissed him again. He tasted sweet, hot, and wet. Her body ached with desire as her hips began slowly moving into the pressure she felt below. She took his other hand and brought it to
her mouth, she kissed his hand gently, first the palms, and then she kissed each finger from left to right staring at him. She reached his middle finger and lightly bit the tip, and then she licked it in a circular motion, sucking in an up and down motion. He closed his eyes, and she bit down. “Don’t close your eyes,” she said as licked his finger from top to bottom. He opened his eyes and watched her as she sucked and licked and bit over and over again. “Tessa,” he groaned. “Excuse me Collin,” Tomas stopped and walked back towards the kitchen, “Sir when you’re free we need to talk,” there was a sense of urgency in his voice. “Be right there,” he took a deep breath and stood and bent over pushing on his knees and breathing hard. He looked at Tessa, and she was smiling. “One of these day’s Tessa, you’ll be finishing what you just started,” he reached in his pants and adjusted himself as he walked away. Tomas and Collin stayed away for a while; she was getting concerned when she heard his voice rise. “And how the fuck did that happen Tomas? Who the fuck are the guys you hired a bunch of fucking idiots. You’d better get some more people on this! I want this to end tonight. If you can’t make it happen, I fucking will! I want updates every 15 minutes,” he yelled. “Yes sir,” Tomas said. Collin walked in the kitchen and punched the wall, he walked in circles for a few minutes, and he came into the living room and looked at her with sadness and rage in his eyes. Tessa looked at him, “You alright?” She stood and started to walk towards him. “Tessa one of the men took Leia to the emergency veterinarians. They think she was poisoned.” The look of terror flooded her eyes, and he tried to grab her hand she pulled away. “Are my tires fixed?” “Yes, but you’re not going anywhere,” he said sternly. “She’ll be scared Collin! You’re the only other person besides family she’s ever allowed near her. I’m going, and there isn’t a thing you’re going to do about it,” she started towards the door. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, “No Tessa, you’re not.” She pulled away from him. “You can’t keep me here against my will! I need to be with her.” She cried “Don’t you understand, she needs me, she needs me!” Tessa sat on the floor and sobbed her knees to her chest; she wrapped her arms around them and slowly rocked herself back and forth as she cried. Yes, I understand Tessa, I do. He sat on the floor behind her and pulled her into his arms. He ran his fingers through her hair as he felt her body stiffen and pull slightly away from him. He did not let go. He kissed her head, “I love you Tessa, I’m sorry.” They sat there for what felt like hours and she finally got up and walked to the bathroom, she heard Tomas and Collin talking outside. “Sir the vet called. They’re pretty sure that it was antifreeze that was put in her water dish,” Tomas said. “How is she?” “It’s been touch and go sir, they have an IV hooked up pumping fluids into her and a catheter so that they can see how much fluid she is putting out. They have her sedated so that she doesn’t get agitated. She is comfortable and it’s touchy, but she’s still alive and they say that’s a good sign.” “Nothing better happen to her Tomas or heads will roll, she’s a good dog, and she’s Tessa’s, she better be alright. Now what else is going on?” “My contacts have talked to the local drug dealers, her picture has been shown around, they all know
about the reward, and we’ll hear something soon I’m sure.” “How many had already been in contact with Catherine?” “Apparently two, she came in last night looking for a drug, bath salts. She didn’t pay him with money sir, the other was at noon today, and same exchange was made between the two. She should be trying to get more within the hour, wears off pretty fast,” Tomas reported. “Has a report been filed for each law broken and violation since she has been in town?” “Yes sir.” “Thank you, Tomas. Tessa has already said she was going to leave once, please make the men aware that she is to go nowhere, understand?” Collin said. Tomas looked towards the bathroom, where she stood listening; Collin turned and saw her, Shit! “Yes Sir.” Tessa scowled and walked passed him, into the living room. She stood and looked out the window. She looked angry and scared and very pale. She wasn’t mad at him this wasn’t his fault, and she knew he must think she was being such a bitch. She could not believe what was going on, nothing like this had ever happened in her life and Collin had lived through a hell that she had never even heard on the evening news. Tessa walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water. Collin walked out of his office and looked at her and smiled a boyish grin. “Tessa would you please come with me,” he grabbed her hand and pulling her behind him. They walked into his office; he sat her in a chair and turned on the monitor of his computer. He watched her face light up. Leia was lying in a cage she could see her breathing as she slept. “Now this is Skype, we had a 42 inch monitor set up right in front of the cage. When she wakes up, you can push this button and she will be able to see and hear you Tessa. She has an IV giving her fluids and is being given a sedative every few hours to keep her sedated,” he kissed her head and walked out. Collin warmed up some fettuccini Alfredo and grabbed her a glass of milk, brought it in and stopped as he watched her from behind as she caressed the screen. He watched her and felt her pain. He was angry that he had brought this to her. She could feel him and turned and looked at him “Collin, thank you.” “You’re welcome, Tessa.” Collin sat the food on the desk and pulled a chair next to her, “You need to eat.” She looked at him and shook her head no, “It’s not up for discussion.” He fed her several bites, and she drank the glass of milk. He offered her another bite, “I’m full, thank you.” She sat back and watched her dog lay sleeping. “Sir could I speak to you?” Tomas called from the doorway. He walked out of the office into the kitchen. “One of our men just radioed in. She has been in contact with one of the dealers down by the wharf. She had a man with her and a gun, they took everything the dealer had. She was last spotted on foot coming into an area just a mile north of here. Sir, I think you should take Miss Tessa downstairs.” Collin ran his fingers through his hair “Ok good job Tomas, please make sure the room is set up and hook up a live feed from the Vet’s office so she has access to it.” “Yes sir,” Tomas said. He turned, and she stood in the doorway, “Did you catch all that Tessa?” “Yes,” she quickly followed him down the stairs. “This isn’t a room that is often used, I hope it doesn’t intimidate you,” he opened the door, and her
eyes widened. The large room was all concrete with no windows. The floor was tiled. In one corner was a large bed with a wooden canopy, it looked like something you’d find in an old English castle. A large armoire stood in the corner. There were red velvet curtains that could be pulled to separate the area making it private from the rest of the space if necessary. A desk sat on the opposite side of the room. It housed computer equipment and monitors. Tessa counted ten twenty inch screens. There was a wall with storage that had wine, water, paper products and canned goods stocked from floor to ceiling. Beside it a door that led to a bathroom which was all tile and concrete, very utilitarian. She watched him as he switched on one of the monitors, it was Leia. He switched on the rest of the monitors showing every room in the house all the outdoor entrances, including one to the room they were in and the deck. He punched in a code, and she could hear the locks on the door latch. “It’s a bit much, but we’ll put it to good use tonight,” he smiled wearily. He watched her waiting for a reaction; she just looked around and took it all in. She sat in a chair and curled into a ball and watched Leia. “Go ahead Tomas, okay, yes, what time was she spotted? Are all entrances covered? Is someone on bird watch? Have you taken all safety precautions I don’t want anyone hurt? Night goggles? Vests? Okay man, be safe,” He looked at Tessa who was staring at him terrified, “Full disclosure?” Tessa shook her head yes. “She’s close; they haven’t seen her in 15 minutes. She is armed and has another armed perp with her. They are extremely high and very dangerous, and you Tessa are safe, do you understand?” she shook her head in response. “Do you have any questions?” She shook her head and asked “What is this room for?” “It’s for exactly this, Tessa,” he said. “And it will be over soon can I get you anything?” “Collin, I’m sorry I have been so awful to you today, I’ve acted horribly. I’m scared and have only been involved in this for a day; you my God… how are you ok? How have you come through this so well?” She asked through tears. He took her hand and then held his other against the ear piece he was communicating with Tomas through. “Go ahead Tomas, alright one down, is he hurt? Where do you have him? Great job. Let me know when you have her. I wish I could be out there with you Tomas, thank you.” He watched the camera’s and tried to answer her questions. “I’m fine Tessa. This will be a huge relief when she has been caught. You’re scared and I’m not upset with you at all, I get it. I’m sorry for having put you through all of this,” he looked at her. “Collin, is that her?” she asked pointing to the monitor. “Tomas she just went under the deck, okay, yep I’m watching.” He saw them grab her and she fought them off, she reached for her gun, and it was knocked out of her hands. They quickly had Catherine on the ground and detained. “Great job, guys” he stood and went to grab her head she pulled away. She was shaking and ran to the bathroom and threw up, he held her hair. She finished and began to cry. He held her in his arms. “Tessa it’s okay now, it’s all over. We can go now.” “No! Collin don’t you open that door I want to stay here! Please don’t leave, please don’t make me go out there,” she begged. “Alright we can stay here as long as you’d like.” He picked her up and walked her to the bed, he lay down beside her and held her as she cried, and finally, she fell asleep. “Tomas can you handle the rest? I need to stay here until Tessa is ready to come out. Yes she is a bit shaken if you need me you know how to reach me and thank you, excellent job.”
He laid next to her and fell asleep. *** It was still dark when Tessa woke up, and he wasn’t there. She got up to use the bathroom. She opened a toothbrush that lay on the counter next to the sink. Some of her clothes were brought and hung up on a hook in the corner. On the shelf next to the shower were two towels and a washcloth. Next to them were a razor, body soap, shampoo, and conditioner. She undressed and turned on the shower. She stood under the hot water for a long time trying to process what had happened today or yesterday she wasn’t sure of the time. She thought of what a tyrant she must have seemed when she heard that her dog had been poisoned. She thought about how it must have seemed so insignificant to Collin. Paling in contrast to what was happening, and what had happened to him the beautiful man with thick wavy brown hair, blue eyes, bronze skin, full- lipped, Adonis. It wasn’t even that she felt drawn to. Collin’s desire to care for her, to make sure she was safe. To be concerned about how she feels about her dog, her family, her friends. The love he had shown her in less than two weeks is so much more than she had ever felt from anyone in her life, without force or fight. Lucas, Ben, and Toby were all amazing in their own way. But Collin had the sex appeal, need, and desire she felt for Lucas, the comfort and safety she found refuge in from Toby and Ben’s smile, spunk, and heart. If you could multiply that by a hundred, she was sure Collin Abraham would be in the answer box. All of the above times one hundred she thought to herself. Tessa was head over heels for this man, and it scared her to death. She dried off and dressed and towel dried her hair as best she could. She opened the door and walked into the dark room. Tomas sat at the desk working on the computer. “How are you feeling ma’am?” “Fine thank you, where is Collin?” “I messaged him when you woke up. He was leaving the justice building and should be here any minute.” He flipped on the monitor and she saw Leia, sleeping and breathing, “Dr. Mackey is on the phone for you,” he handed her the phone. “Your girl’s a fighter, I don’t know how she made it this far.” Tessa winced as he went on, “she needs to stay calm, and we’re going to keep her sedated for a couple days. I really think it best if you don’t visit; I get the sense that is going to be very hard for you. Mr. Abraham has gone to extremes to ensure you are able to see her.” “Do you think she is going to make it?” “I didn’t think she would make it this far. That’s a very good sign. If I were a betting man, I would bet on her. Her vitals are strong… she’s truly doing great.” Tessa thanked him and hung up the phone. “He’s a good man, I hope you know that,” Tomas said. “I do Tomas, I know.” This was the first time she had seen Tomas with his sunglasses off. He had deep brown eyes, he was very attractive, very military looking. “How long have you known him, Tomas?” “Twelve years Ma’am.” he responded. There were three beeps, and she heard the locks unlatch. Collin walked in, he was wearing a black suit pants and a gray shirt with a black and gray woven tie, “How are you this morning Tessa?” “I’m good, I’m sorry I was so awful yesterday,” she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him, “I hope you can forgive me.” Tears started to flow down her cheeks. “I accept your apology Tessa, you were a trooper.” He pulled her hair back gently so that her face met his, his long thick fingers wiped her tears away, and he kissed her lips gently.
Collin looked deeply into her eyes and their foreheads touched. They stayed like this for a long time intensely looking at each other seeking to figure out what one another was thinking. “Excuse me sir, the lawyers will be here soon,” Tomas walked out. She released him from her grip, “How are you doing Collin? Are you alright?” “Tessa if you’re okay, I am,” he smiled. She looked at him with concerned eyes, “How are you really?” “I have to say I’m great. She’s where she belongs; she has done so much damage to me, my sister, my brother, and now you Tessa. She’s locked up and will be for life, God willing. I’ll make sure of it.” She pulled his chin down towards her. “Collin, kiss me.” His phone buzzed, and it was Tomas letting him know the lawyers and DA had arrived. “Tessa I’ve got to go up now, you ready to get out of here?” “I would follow you anywhere.” Collin grabbed her and lifted her, she wrapped her arms and legs around him and kissed him and held her tightly against him. “Gotta go Tessa,” he growled. He tossed her around him, so she was wrapped around him piggyback. “Ready?” “Absolutely,” she laughed. It was good to hear her laugh, he smiled to himself, real good. He ran up the stairs. He was very aware that those beautiful breasts were bouncing on his back. He stopped at the top of the steps and swung her around in front of him, she was laughing He took comfort in seeing the joy in her eyes. Tessa was standing on the deck, and she looked over at her house he followed her eyes. Officers were searching the grounds as other men worked inside. “They should be done soon. It’s being cleaned, all food has been taken out, and they’re going to make sure everything is safe. When they are done Tomas and my people will be over there for awhile,” he watched her eyes widen as she stared ahead and took a deep breath. He turned her to him and lifted her chin and kissed her head gently. “It’s going to be ok; I won’t let anything happen to you. I want you to sit in on the meeting. I think it’ll help you to feel safe again.” They walked into the office; it was filled with people in suits and uniforms. He pulled a chair out for her and she sat. He sat next to her. “Good morning gentlemen this is Tessa, she’ll be sitting in on our meeting today. I want to go through the events step by step. Tomas will be heading this if anyone has questions, please write them down and we will have Q and A at the end. Tomas the floor is yours,” Collin grabbed her hand and gently caressed it. “I’m sure you have all had a chance to go through Catherine’s rap sheet so we will begin with her release from Bedford Hills on August 20th; the suspect was released and reported to her parole officer that afternoon. She was allowed to move to New Jersey where she stayed in the house that Dr. Abraham had purchased for her. She reported to her parole officer in New Jersey where she was instructed to attend NA meetings as well as bi- weekly meetings with a psychiatrist that Mr. Abraham also paid for. On August 22nd, she was reportedly at a bar drinking and trying to find drugs. She paid her bar tab with a check from an account Mr. Abraham had started for her upon her release, which is our first break. We have access to her account and have copies of the check which is in the packet in front of you. We also have her on camera at the bar talking to James Rico, a known drug dealer in Trenton, a copy of his rap sheet is also in the packet. While making meth, they burnt down the house that the suspect was residing in. Again we have evidence proving that she bought the ingredients needed to make it. On September 9th, the house burnt to the ground and both suspects were hospitalized. Catherine had drained the bank account set up by Dr. Abraham the day before, she purchased a car. Dr. Abraham was in contact with the authorities
in New Jersey because Catherine had served her sentence in full they would not extradite her to New York. The judge’s decision was to send her to a rehab facility believing that with counseling and the fact that she had served her sentence with good behavior she was not a high risk. Dr. Abraham contacted a facility and worked with them to set up a recovery plan for Catherine. He traveled to New Jersey and took part in a few very intensive therapy sessions with his mother. Catherine’s counselor believed this could help to make it personal and less the institutional garbage that doesn’t work,” he looked at Collin with anger in his eyes and shook his head. “James was to spend a week in jail, and then be released. Thanks to pictures found on Facebook we can place James at a pier downtown, he was looking through binoculars in the distance watching Collin, Tessa Ross, and some guests. He can also be seen in the bushes on the opposite side of Miss Ross’s home, through more pictures on facebook. Two days later he went to the rehab facility, and they walked out the door, got into the car and drove here. The rest is in the report filed this morning by Mr. Abraham,” Tomas sat down. Collin stood and loosened his tie, “The ball is in our court, the most serious offenses were committed here in Massachusetts. Stalking, prostitution, felony assault, animal abuse, attempted murder, and trespassing,” he stated. “Who was in charge of searching Miss Ross’s home next door?” An officer stood “Sir, we suspect that some of the food was tampered with. There was a hidden camera in the main bedroom upstairs, it was connected to the Wi- Fi in the house and had a live feed going live online. We have people checking into it now.” Collin asked, “Who searched the car owned by the suspect, and what was found?” Tomas spoke, “The preliminary report was faxed a while ago. There were detailed logs of when you or Miss Ross left the property. Details about the places you went, photos from the whale watching trip with guests from next door, specifics about the dog, including where her food and water dishes were, dates and times of the volunteer work Tessa was doing at the church.” He saw Collins eyes narrow and watched him try to control his temper by breathing deeply. “There was duct tape and rope along with a sleep- inducing drug, there were notes on how they were going to execute their plan. I have made copies of our surveillance tapes and have given them to the detective.” Collin took a deep breath and looked at the woman in the navy suit, “Do you think the evidence is enough to convict and put these people away for life?” “Yes sir, without a doubt. Neither party has the means to pay for an attorney; they will be appointed attorneys, an airtight case Mr. Abraham.” She sounded very sure of herself. “I want a detailed list of anything confiscated from the house next door. Tomas, you and your men get a few hours sleep, and then you go through her house again,” Collin instructed. “Already done sir, there’s a team at the church doing the same thing now,” Tomas replied. “Ok, when that’s done I want the boat done as well,” Collin instructed. “Alright any questions?” He looked around, and no one spoke.”Good, thank you, ladies and gentlemen if anyone needs me you all have my cell number. I’m taking Tessa away from this mess for the day. This house is clean, I ensured that myself.” “Do they have names of my family and friends? Will they be safe?” she asked quietly. “No names ma’am, just photos, and we have them, and the electronic media they used; they won’t get them back, ever. They don’t even know your last name,” Tomas smiled softly. “Okay, that’s a wrap, great job everyone. Tomas show them out please,” he said and turned to Tessa, “I have a date to get ready for.” She forced a smile and stood as everyone left. Collin looked at her, “It’s been a long day, we’re going to go and rest before you take me out and sweep me off my feet, again.” He took her hand, and she followed him out the door.
CHAPTER EIGHT He pushed the remote and it beeped, and the lights flashed. “Did you go car shopping Collin?” she asked as he opened the door for her, she sat, and he climbed in the driver’s seat. “Do you like it?” “Yes it’s nice but…” he interrupted her and pulled up the console between them. “Now you can sit next to me,” he smiled. “Collin you bought a car so I could sit next to you?” she asked confused. His face turned red and completely changed from the powerhouse in control man in a suit to a confused little boy. “Yes I did, does that offend you?” “No, Collin it’s kind of cute, but a little extravagant,” she said softly. “The other vehicles needed to be checked out anyway,” he sounded a bit pouty. She laughed out loud at him, “You’re so…adorable. Sometimes you look like you did in your office in such control and command and then like you do now.” A beautiful distraction she thought and laughed again. *** It was one in the afternoon when they arrived at the Hyatt. Collin pulled the car in front and jumped out, he grabbed the bag that he had obviously already had packed, he was a busy boy. He opened the door and took her hand. He checked in, and the blonde behind the counter was clearly being flirtatious with him as Tessa stood there arms crossed looking like hell. He looked towards her. His black pants fit him perfectly, his gray shirt without the tie unbuttoned, how could this woman not look at him all goo goo eyed. He grabbed her hand. “You okay?” he asked flashing a dazzling smile. She smiled and shook her head yes. She turned back towards the woman behind the desk who was seriously checking him out now. Tessa was getting pissed off, all the anger she had held back since yesterday morning could easily be expelled by kicking her ass she thought. She looked at him and wrapped her arms around his waist, “Take me to our room now please,” she said loudly enough for the woman to hear her and then she kissed him. She turned towards the woman and raised her eyebrow and gave her the back off look. Collin, who was oblivious to what was going on before, finally caught on. “Are we done here?” She handed him the room key, and he smiled down at Tessa and pulled her into his side. “Let’s go upstairs, beautiful,” he kissed her head and led her to the elevator. In the elevator, he stood holding her hands facing her, he liked seeing her jealous, it wasn’t something he was used to, and it was kind of hot. The elevator door opened on the fifth floor, and a couple women who had clearly been drinking got on, they giggled and looked at him the same way the woman at the desk did. Tessa’s nose flared while he laughed out loud. She gave him a dirty look. They rode the elevator all the way up to the top floor where Tessa and Collin got off. “Ladies,” Collin said as he got off the elevator laughing. Tessa stepped back in and looked at him and waved goodbye. He gasped and stuck his foot in the door so that it wouldn’t close and walked in and grabbed her hand and pulled her into him and the door closed.
Collin laughed as he took her hand. “It’s not funny Collin. Do you like being ogled?” She snapped. “Never noticed,” he said, “Nor would I have had you not looked so damn hot angry,” he laughed again. “Seriously Collin, I want to know,” she demanded. “To be honest I have never checked into a hotel with a woman next to me,” he said, “So I would not have noticed.” “Well, how about on dates do women swarm around you,” she asked scowling. “Never been on a date Tessa, I told you I don’t do dates.” “Oh, well then I have thought of a new idea for that room in the downstairs of your house,” she said. “You going to hold me hostage?” he looked excited about the idea. “Maybe I will,” she said and turned away “you can think about that while I call the vet and check on Leia.” He held up his phone and showed her the message he had received “She’s doing great.” She grabbed the bag and looked through it trying to find her things, “Collin where is my phone?” “Oh, sorry Tessa the authorities confiscated all the electronics, I ordered you a new one, it’ll be delivered here within the hour. I also bought a new computer; it’ll be here at the same time.” “Collin that wasn’t necessary.” “I don’t know how or when yours will be returned to you. So yes it was. I wanted to.” She looked at him and tried not to be angry, “Ok, but you truly didn't have to do that Collin.” “I wanted to just like I wanted to get you some new clothes to wear today. I want everything cleaned who the hell knows what she did when she was in your house. I picked them out myself. See for yourself.” She looked in the bag, inside were two pair of Capri pants, one Khaki the other black, two crew tees, one blue the other a light green, a black strapless dress with a black shawl, running shorts, with matching shirt, and a blue dress. In a satin baggy were three lace bras. One black, one red, and one powder blue each had a pair of matching boy short style underwear. There were two small boxes underneath them. In one was a white silk extremely short nighty. The other the same but a powder blue version. She could feel his eyes watching her. She looked at him and could tell he was trying to read her thoughts, she finally spoke. “You really do like blue huh?” He smiled “I like blue on you.” “Thank you, Collin, they are all wonderful and mysteriously they are all the right size that was very thoughtful of you.” “Yes this is Collin speaking, seriously? Unbelievable! It has to be now, do these idiots know that we have made their case. Are you going to be available to be here Tomas? Fine, this is ludicrous! See you then.” “When will I see you, Collin?” There was a knock at the door. Collin answered it, the bellboy brought in several packages. Collin thanked him and tipped him. “I think it'll be a couple hours tops Tessa; I need to sign a few things. I have to be there at five, half an hour before our date,” he said, “I’ll be a little late, but I will be there, I promise.” This was all to Pretty Women like, at a hotel with a hot, wealthy man, being showered with gifts; he bought me under clothes for crying out loud. Her head spun as she sat trying to make sense of the past two weeks of her life, it was like something out of a movie. Collin called for room service, and Tessa hung the clothes on hangers in the closet. She was tired and really could just go to bed; she walked into the bedroom area as he was going through the packages, she lay on the bed and fell asleep. He looked around wanting to show her the new phone he got her, she was not in the room, must be in
the bathroom. There was a knock at the door, the bell boy brought in the food, Collin tipped him and went to see if Tessa was in the bathroom, she wasn’t. He went into the bedroom and she was asleep curled in a ball. He connected the phone to the MacBook. He downloaded the necessary software and set up an online account he downloaded a bunch of music. He set up an email. He lay next to her and took a picture of them as she slept and set it as wallpaper. He took a picture of him and added his contact information. What am I doing he laughed at himself I’m acting like a fool? Collin added the vet’s contact information. He let her sleep, and he went in and showered. He got out and wrapped a towel around his waist and brushed his teeth. He walked out drying his hair. She was awake and sitting up in the bed. “Good afternoon beautiful,” he walked in and kissed her head. “Give me a second and I will be right back.” Damn he smelled so good and left little to the imagination in that white towel. She watched him from behind as he walked out; his feet were large and strong leading to his muscular calves and thick thighs. His ass was a perfect bubble that leads to his waist that was in perfect proportion with his body. You could see every muscle in his back, each step was graceful. She smiled and hugged her knees, she needed that nap, and she was getting cranky. How could she be that way to him, how could anyone ever want to be nasty to him? He returned in jeans that sat on his hips and food. He looked more delicious in the towel then that food in his hands. He sat at the head of the bed and pulled her up to sit against his chest. He fed her artichoke hearts and pieces of chicken, and then moved onto strawberries and grapes. “Tessa how are you really?” he set the plate on the bedside stand. “Right now Collin, I’m happy, I feel rested and nourished and safe in your arms.” she spoke softly. “You say right now, Tessa, what does that mean?” “It’s been a crazy couple days” she admitted, “My emotions have certainly been on high alert, and I’m sad. Two weeks from now I will be saying goodbye to someone who makes my heart and head do flips each time I see you.” “I’m really sorry things have been such a mess Tessa, I love you. Things will be okay, I hope you can believe that, things will be ok,” he held her tighter a knock on the door interrupted them. “Damn, Tessa I think it’s time we get you ready to go to church.” Collin got up and answered the door, “Come on in Tomas we will be ready in a bit, Tessa I have to leave in a few minutes. I need to show you a few things,” he grabbed her hand and led her to the bathroom, “everything you need is here.” He pointed to the counter and led her into the living room, “Computer is set up, your phone is set up, old number transferred, and your family should be able to contact you now. I put the Facebook app on, but you’ll have to enter your username and password,” she was annoyed, “I needed a new one anyway, don’t be cross with me. I saw you hung up the clothes; there are bags and shoes in the same closet. I have to go, call if you need anything.” Collin pulled a black tee shirt off of the hanger in the other side of the closet. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into him. “I’m very excited for our date, even if it includes one hundred and fifty kids.” He kissed her gently “I love you Tessa, I’ll see you soon, let Tomas know if you need anything.” He walked out the door as always, leaving her wanting more. Tessa dressed and brushed her teeth. She walked to the closet to check out what he had picked out for her. A coach messenger style bag, a Vera Bradley quilted mail bag, a vintage Louie clutch, unbelievable, the shoes he had handpicked for her were not her comfy Berks or old Navy flip flops. There was a pair of black strappy heals, a pair of metallic silver sandals, a pair of brown sandals, a pair of linen wedges, and a pair of running shoes. She dressed in the khaki Capri’s and blue shirt, she grabbed the brown sandals
and the coach messenger. The phone rang and the ring tone was a beautiful instrumental piece, she picked up the new phone, and his smiling face looked at her. “Hello Collin.” “Hey Beautiful, I forgot to tell you that off of the lobby there is a spa. You have an hour to kill, run down there and get a massage or manicure, whatever you want, they’re expecting you in 5 minutes, got to go, I love you Tessa.” “Collin I love you as well however this is all overwhelming,” she began. “All the more reason to head downstairs, see you soon.” he hung up. Tomas stood in the doorway and opened it. “Ma’am” he pointed to the hallway. She didn’t have it in her to argue, so she did as she was told. She walked past the front desk and smiled at the lady who had been ogling Collin when they checked in. The women at the spa met her at the door and swept her into the back, a private room where three of them were at her disposal. They worked fast, she had a manicure and pedicure at the same time, and they were finished in fifteen minutes. She decided to have her eyebrows cleaned up a bit and knowing he would be getting the bill decided on having them wax her bikini area. They must have been confused because she was pretty sure that was the most thorough bikini wax she had ever received, all in 15 minutes. They finished with a thirty- minute massage and mini facial. When she was done, she felt amazing. Thank you, Collin, again it was a beautiful distraction, all except for the unexpected visit to a South American country, and she thought and laughed. She got dressed and was swept into the Lexis by Tomas and arrived at the church on time. She walked in and was greeted by Pastor Lou, “How are you Tessa? I’m so glad to see you’re ok. What an awful experience for you.” “I’m, just sorry the kids had to miss out on a day here.” “Better safe than sorry” he winked, “Let’s give them a great time tonight.” She sang and danced with the little people, she loved their energy, their innocence, and their enthusiasm. She sat and talked and dissected songs with the older kids. She enjoyed herself so much and was secretly thrilled that the normal musical director wasn’t available. She was excited to see them stand in front of their parents to show them the music and dances they have learned in the four well three nights they were there. All of the kids were there tonight, and it was almost seven thirty when she realized Collin still wasn’t there. Her last group of kids went down with their leaders. She grabbed her gifted bag to get her gifted phone to see if she could get a hold of Collin, who she was sure was a gift from God. She had three messages from Collin - hey beautiful I will be there at seven - you look stunning dancing and singing with those children - when you get a minute come to the window, I’m the man in the apron “What are you doing?” she asked leaning out the window. “Lou here thought I would be just the man to grill two hundred hot dogs,” he said with a smile. “I’m done in here can I come out and help?” “We would love that,” Lou smiled. She ran outside and helped them load the warmers lined up on the picnic tables. They set out rolls and condiments, bags of chips and lemonade. “Thank you both for the help now go wash your hands and get into the sanctuary, the kids are ready to show us what they have learned. Maybe we’ll all learn something today,” Lou winked.
They walked in together and went into the bathrooms and washed their hands. When Tessa walked out of the bathroom, Collin was waiting, she smiled at him and was whisked away by several little people. She looked back hopelessly at him, and he smiled. She was brought to the front by the preschoolers. The program started with some students reciting memory verses, it was amazing to see them focus and learn something that they would carry with them forever. Next up was the mission story; a school in Haiti would reap the benefits of all offerings collected this week. The music began and the little guys and girls watched the big screen as they danced, and they were not alone Tessa was pulled up on stage by the children and they laughed and danced and sang. He thought she looked beautiful. They sang three songs and sat, three sat on her lap and several others hung off her arms. Pastor Lou took the stage, “I’d love to thank our amazing group of volunteers for donating their time this week to help you each take a step on your walk closer to God. Let’s give them a hand.” All the kids clapped and yelled. “I want to thank the parents for bringing all of these beautiful children here; you have given them a gift by doing this. I have some wonderful news to share with you. We have a man here tonight who wishes to remain anonymous. He would love you all to have the opportunity to attend a week of winter camp in February or a week next summer. All you need to do is fill out an application for whichever week you choose, your registration here this week at VBS is proof that you are eligible, it’s a gift, please accept it.” Tessa looked behind her and saw him looking down, she knew it was him. She stood and ducked out of the swarm of children and went to the back and sat with Collin. “I wanted to share a slide show from the past 15 years of VBS. Kids- — we have some pretty fantastic pictures of you all towards the end so pay close attention you may see yourself.” Pastor Lou came and stood behind them as the slide show started. The pictures started passing slowly, and Tessa saw a couple of her from her summer with Aunt Ann, she was ten years old, she laughed. She saw the boy who interested her so much that year. She thought he was the cutest boy she had ever seen, he looked sad, and she wanted to make him happy, to bring him happiness. The next picture was a photo of a little girl with a blue ribbon tied in her hair, kissing a little boy with wavy brown hair on the cheek. The audience said “awe”, and Tessa leaned towards Collin and Collin towards Tessa and at the same time they smiled and said, “That was me.” Pastor Lou stood behind them and squeezed their shoulders, “He works in mysterious ways if he intends for it to be, it will be. Sometimes the things worth having are worth waiting for.” He walked away and they sat staring into each other’s eyes, no expression on either one of their faces. The sanctuary emptied as Collin and Tessa sat lost in each other eyes. Pastor Lou brought a small photo album into the sanctuary and handed it to Tessa, “This is a thank you gift for all your help this week. Collin, thank you for your very generous donation today, what a blessing it will be to all of these children.” Tessa turned to Pastor Lou and thanked him and gave him a hug. He left the sanctuary. Collin stood up and hugged Tessa, “Unbelievable, it was you.” Tessa hugged him back “I love you Collin Abraham, I think I always have.” They walked out into the yard hand in hand; Collin grabbed Tessa a hot dog and one for himself. He led her over to the tree in the back of the yard, and they sat on the ground. She couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could he. They finished their hot dogs. She moved closer to him so that they could look through the book together. She opened the book and the first page was a picture of her smiling with her hand in the air. The next was him sitting next to Pastor Lou both playing the guitar in front of the group as she sat with her hands under her chin grinning. He was looking in her direction with a half smile on his face. The next was a picture of them swinging on the swing set next to one another; the next page was her handing him her snack. Next was a picture of him staring up at her smiling as she sang her solo at the weekend program.
The last was the picture that was on the screen, her kissing his cheek. “Tessa,” he finally spoke, “I’m pretty sure this is the best date, well the best day I have ever had.” She laughed and smiled looking at his eyes. She bent over and kissed him on the check.”I think for me as well.” Several little people came over to hug her and say their goodbyes. She smiled at him and stood as they lead her to meet their parents. He watched her as she shook hands and smiled at all the people she met. She was incredibly beautiful, her smile was genuine, and the way she made everyone around her feel love was incredible. He stood in appreciation of her. Everyone had left, and Tessa looked around to see where he was, she saw him shaking hands with Pastor Lou. He turned and walked towards her. His hair moved in the wind, he ran his fingers through it and continued to walk her way. Never in a million years would she have imagined that little boy she met all those years ago, the first boy she ever kissed, would be standing in the same churchyard walking towards her all these years later. “Let’s get out of here,” he flashed her his gorgeous smile. She let him lead her to the Lexus; she would follow him anywhere, without a doubt. He opened the door for her, and she got in. “Alright,” he grabbed her hand and kissed it, “let’s go back to the hotel.” Her stomach did a flip and all of a sudden she felt like she was eighteen again; she was going back to the hotel with him. They pulled in front of the hotel, and he jumped out and opened her door, he took her hand and helped her out. The valet took the car. They walked into the hotel and walked to the elevator. They stepped in and were followed by three women. They stood in the back against the wall, holding hands. She noticed the women turning around and checking him out, she was so annoyed, do they not notice me standing here? He looked up and obviously noticed how she was bothered by this. He grabbed her and pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the back of her head and pulled her hair gently towards him and her head turned up and he kissed her, he bit her lip and she opened her mouth, and his tongue entered. The elevator stopped and he pulled his lips away from hers, they women stepped out, and the door shut. Collin turned her around and kissed her, when the door opened they were on their floor. He took her hand and walked to the door and she watched as he slid the key into the lock. They walked in, and he took her bag and set in on the table. Hers eyes wide and nervous and his eyes never left hers. He pulled her to him and kissed her head down her cheek and to her hot waiting lips. Her hands found their way to his hair as he pulled her tighter against him. Pulling her even closer, he lifted her to him and began walking towards the bedroom. No longer afraid, nervous or second guessing her feelings towards him she was ready to give herself to him. Heat intensified inside of her as his soft groans escaped into her mouth. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, “I want you Tessa, right here right now…” She closed her eyes and shook her head yes and her phone rang. She let out a disappointing groan and he let her down and closed his eyes as a smile crept across his face. She took a deep breath as she grabbed her phone from her bag. “Hello. Hey Jade,” she said as she looked back at him. He was bending down pushing on his knees, his eyes closed tightly. “Nope, I am not busy what's up,” he opened his eyes and she stuck out her bottom lip pouting and he shook his head from sided to side. Tessa’s jaw dropped, “What? When? It’s too early Jade, how many centimeters… Alright tell her to try to relax, and cross her damn legs, it’ll take me seven hours to get there, but I will be there…I think if she’s only three centimeters I will be there on time… No, they will let her go 24 hours after her water has broken before they take the baby… Jade you’re going to have to suck it up, pull on your big girl panties and get in there… girl you’ve had two kids you can handle it… the
longer I am on the phone, the longer it’s going to take for me to get ready and get out of here… I will. See you soon.” She hung up and turned around; he was on the phone and packing her bag. He hung up and turned towards her. “I can’t believe you're leaving me now,” he said in a sad voice, she looked like she was about to cry, he hugged her. “I’m just teasing you it seems appropriate given the current situation.” He smiled and looked down, “I know you need to be there. I’ve called and booked you on a flight, the earliest direct flight leaves in two hours; it is only an hour flight. A car will be at the airport to pick you up and take you wherever you need to go. The closest I could get you would have been Ithaca, but it would have gotten you there two hours after the flight into Syracuse and it had a connecting flight I hope that’s alright.” “I can’t Collin, I need to get my dog.” “The vet says he thinks she will be ready to travel soon but not today, she needs to be weaned off the drugs. We’ll figure it out, you just worry about getting there for Phoebe,” he used his very authoritative sexy voice. “I’ve ordered a light meal it should be here soon.” “You’re absolutely amazing Collin Abraham,” she threw her arms around him and hugged him. “I need to take a shower, it’s going to be a long night,” she smiled at him. He groaned against her head and stepped back, “GO!” She got into the shower and began washing her body. As she washed her woman area she remembered the grooming she had done this morning and realized how extremely sensitive she was there, probably a good thing she was called away tonight. She was sure it would have been a bit tender had anything went on, she smirked. Well, maybe that would have been a good thing. She grabbed a small towel and wrapped her hair in it. She wrapped up in the thick robe and walked out into the living room area. Collin was waiting for her, he handed her a bag of clothes he had run down and bought at the hotels boutique. “These should be more comfortable for traveling,” he smirked and asked “Did you have fun at the spa?” Her face turned red, and she softly said “Yes thank you.” Collin smiled, “I’m glad.” She opened the bag and saw a pair of black linen pants a white tee and a black jacket. In a smaller bag, there was a cotton white bra, a cotton nude bra, and a cotton pink bra and four pairs of thigh high cotton briefs. She looked at him, and he had a smug look on his face, she laughed. “They’re okay right?” “Yes Collin they are fine, thank you again.” “Just making sure.” There was a knock at the door, and it was room service, he took the cart and tipped the bellboy as she went in and changed in the bedroom. When she came out of the room, he looked at her and shook his head, “How is it you can even make that outfit look sexy?” She turned red. “I know I have to go, but I really feel like, well…I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t want you to look at someone else the way you look at me. I don’t want to go to bed tonight without you in my arms. I’m afraid when I leave you’ll find someone — you know the without strings kind of girl, and release all that pent up frustration.” she said looking down. “ But I don’t want to be without you.” “Tessa I’m not going anywhere. I told you I love you, and I mean it. I cannot however lie to you, and say that I won’t find another girl to help relieve my stress with…” Her eyes widened, and her face burned red, “Oh I see. Collin! I’m so angry with you I want to leave, I want to leave now. Just like him, how did I let myself feel like this, so fucking stupid!” She stood and started going towards the door, he grabbed her arm. He pulled her on his lap “I love you Tessa, the girl I plan to spend time with is Leia. I’m hoping she will be one hundred percent so that she and I can go running together.”
“Do you like to make me crazy Collin because I’m not okay with that?” she snapped and tried to stand. He kissed her neck and let her go, “No, I wasn’t trying to make you crazy Tessa you didn’t let me finish. Let’s get one thing straight here; I am not your ex. I am a man who knew immediately that you would change his world. I love you. The vet is weaning her off the meds as we speak. I’m going to take you to the airport and go straight there to be with her. She’s doing great, no trace of toxins in her system. I will hang out with her until you’re done at home. “You make me crazy Collin.” His face became serious for a moment and his eyebrows creased, and he took a deep breath and stood up. “I am not your ex Tessa, but you do need to know who I am. I have packed this carry on with some things, I want you to take the iPad, and I’ll email you a file I want you to read. It’s all about me, the things you don’t know, and the things I need you to know. You can read it on your flight. Some of it is information from me others are from outside sources. I would prefer you not share it with anyone else, it’s very personal information. I want you to really read it, ask whatever questions you need to ask. After that, if you want to run I wouldn’t blame you, and I won’t stop you.” She looked at Collin, “Ok, but if this is going to cause you pain or upset you, I don’t need to read it Collin.” “I need you to,” his voice was barely a whisper. Alright if that’s what you want,” she hugged him. “It’s time to leave; you’ve got a flight to catch and a baby to help deliver Miss Ross” he kissed her head. He grabbed her bag and flung it over his shoulder, took her hand, and they left their room. *** The car was waiting for them and the valet handed him the keys, he opened the door for Tessa, and she got in. He put the bag in the back and sat in the driver’s seat. She put the console up and scooted next to him and took his hand. He reached over and buckled her seat belt. She melted into his shoulder. She wished he could come with her but was relieved that Leia would have him there when she woke up. She kissed his neck, and he smiled down at her as they pulled into the parking garage. He got out and grabbed her bag, and she met him at the back of the car. “I wanted to open the door for you Tessa.” She kissed his pouty lips, “Next time.” They checked her in and her flight was on time, she went through security with her bag. He stood watching her, arms crossed in front of him, she saw him reach in his pocket, and he pulled out his phone and called her. She smiled and answered. “Hello beautiful,” he said, “I forgot to tell you to fly safe.” “I will, you drive safe Collin.” “I love you Tessa call me when you land.” Her flight was called, and she turned to walk away, she glanced over her shoulder and he still stood watching her. She looked back sadly at him, he was looking down. She sat in first class. She pulled out the computer and checked her email. The only email address was an account he had created,
[email protected]. She clicked it, the password was saved, she would have to ask him for it when she talked to him again. She opened the email subject titled confidential. She saved it to a file and deleted the email. After it had downloaded, she turned off the Wi- Fi as her plane began to taxi down the runway. Tessa, This is organized in order from early years until now. Please take notes of any questions you may have and I will reply as promptly as I can. All my Love,
Collin
She read what looked like a scanned school record, lots of documentation about fights starting in grade 2 through 5. He had been suspended for breaking a peer’s nose in grade 5. Grades 6 through 7 had no documented incidents. Grades 8- 11 he had done amazing all grades were 97 and up and it looked like he doubled up in grade 10. Grade 12 was all AP classes. Ok, she thought he was a scrappy little guy until he was like 12, after that he did great, except the blank in grades 6- 7. He had attended school at Cape Code since he was in second grade, wow and no one could see what he was dealing with at home? The next scan document was from the police. She read what was a four- page report, through the tears falling down her face. Collin was arrested at twelve years old for murdering his mother’s boyfriend. In a statement received from his mother, she indicated that it was because her son was jealous of her boyfriend. Collin had come home after being out with friends and her boyfriend told him it was time for bed and he grabbed a knife and stabbed him four times in the chest. The man was taken to the hospital and died two days later in Provincetown Medical Center. He was taken into custody that night and sent to a juvenile detention center near Boston. Another statement taken from Pastor Lou stated that Collin had attended a youth service that same night and that he had stayed after and had dinner with his siblings and Lou’s family. That he left at nine PM and that Pastor Lou had walked them to their home. Neighbors stated that they had heard arguing at about the same time the kids returned home and that the mother walked out on the porch drinking and smoking. While they heard, the boy telling the man to keep his hands off his sister and heard glass breaking and kids screaming. Collin refused to make a statement and went to trial and was convicted of manslaughter. He spent a year in the youth facility and was released on good behavior. Collins note. Tessa, We can talk about this, but I can assure you it was self- defense. I chose not to testify after making a deal with my mother. If she ensured me that she would not let anyone harm my brother and sister, I would not tell the authorities that she was allowing men to harm us for her own personal gain. Pastor Lou and his wife watched out for them and for me. Lou brought my siblings to visit me once a month and they assured me that she was keeping up on her end of the agreement. I ask that you call Pastor Lou he will confirm what I have told you. I also want you to know I understand if you have reservations, I would if I were you. This is some pretty dark stuff. Collin
Of course, she believed him, how could she not? What he had gone through as a child was horrific, Catherine was a monster. The next document was another police report Collin was arrested again at 17 for aggravated assault. Again it was another boyfriend of his mother's. This was after the death of his sister. He was pulled off of this man by the Police. The man was taken to the hospital and Collin to jail. The man recovered after being in ICU for over a month. Tessa, After this incident, I was told that although my prior arrest was sealed, I was going to jail. Again our friend Pastor Lou intervened and begged the court for mercy. I was given the choice to either join the military or go to jail. I chose the military. This is a lot to process, and I have put it all behind me until now. I need you to know. I am sorry if this changes how you feel about me Tessa, but I promised you full disclosure, and I am a man of my word. All my Love, Collin
His military record was spotless. He received his medical degree while enlisted, and he became a
highly decorated officer. He did two tours in Iraq and received an honorable discharge. She took several deep breaths as she continued to try to process what he had been through. He had no childhood, the person who was supposed to teach him right from wrong and show him love was a monster. Looking at him now, what a miracle it is that he is even alive, sane and sober, let alone what he has accomplished in life. She loved him now more than ever before. He was a gift from God. The stewardess announced that they were approaching their destination and to please fasten their seat belts and place their seats in an upright position. She took a deep breath and looked out the window and saw the city lights, she couldn’t wait to call him. The plane landed safely, and Tessa grabbed her bag, she walked out of the terminal and saw a black car waiting for her, she got in and immediately phoned Collin. “Tessa,” he answered “how was your flight?” “It was very emotional,” she answered quietly. There was silence for a few moments as she tried to hold back her tears. “Are you still there?” he asked. “Yes of course I am,” she said clearing her voice, “Nothing has changed Collin, nothing at all, I think I love you even more now than an hour ago.” “Thank God,” he said, “Thank you Tessa, there is more I need to tell you, but that’s the absolute worst I promise. Can we hold the questions for when we are face to face or do you need to ask me something now?” “I can wait till I see you, nothing has changed do you understand?” “Yes I do now,” he let out a breath. They didn’t speak for a few moments. “So on a different note, guess who is here at my place with me acting as crazy as ever?” “Leia?” she yelled “Is she ok Collin you can tell me the truth, please.” “She's great; we are actually getting ready for bed.” “Lucky girl,” Tessa said.”I miss you already.” “The feeling is mutual Tessa, but if you need anything just say the word.” “I Need You” she breathed, and he knew she meant it. “I need you, too.” They were quiet for a moment. “How far are you from the hospital?” “About ten minutes, it’s actually in Syracuse, thank God you didn’t fly me to Ithaca, and by the way was first class really necessary?” “For you Tessa yes it is,” he thought for a moment. “Hey, why don’t you give me a call when you get there, I have a few things to do before, bed.” “Alright I will, I love you Collin.” “I love you,” and he hung up. He looked at Leia, who sat in the passenger seat and whined he laughed and pet her, “I’m not lying so stop looking at me like that.”
CHAPTER NINE When Tessa walked into labor and delivery, she heard Phoebe scream “I want it out! She walked past the waiting room and saw it was full, “Hey everyone how, is she doing? Becca, Joshua, and Ryan all laughed and jumped up to hug her. Lucas sat in a chair his arms crossed staring at her “When did you get in we weren’t expecting you for four more hours,” Becca hugged her excitedly. “I flew into Hancock, came straight here. I couldn’t miss this,” “No, damn it I don’t want drugs,” they heard Phoebe yell. “Hey, did you all hear that,” she laughed. Just then Jessie walked into the waiting room and walked right past Tessa, she didn’t even see her, and walked to Lucas and sat on his lap. “I’m sorry I’m late, I have had an awful day.” Tessa smiled as she looked at Lucas. “It’ll be okay baby, you’re tried,” Lucas looked uncomfortably at Tessa. “Well,” Tessa clapped her hands together, and Jessie jumped, “Looks like my girl needs me in there, see you all soon.” She stopped at the nurses’ station and talked to her old co- workers. “Hey ladies, can anyone get me a pair of scrubs? I’m here to help make your night a little bit easier.” They were excited to see her, and she was swooped into the break room and given some scrubs. “How are you doing?” they all asked, she knew from their tone that they knew about Jessie and Lucas, “I’m fine, I truly am.” Her phone rang and it was Collin, it dropped out of her bag, and they all looked down and saw his picture light up the screen, she smiled and answered. “Hey, I’m here… nope I’m going to get changed and go in and surprise her now…I will, thanks so much Collin, I love you too, Talk to you soon.” She hung up the phone and looked at her friends who were all staring at her. “Right now I need to get changed. I promise to fill you all in soon,” she smiled and went into change. *** “Phoebe just four more hours and she’ll be here,” Jade said trying to calm her. “Or how about now?” Tessa asked as she walked into the room. The people in the waiting room could hear all the laughter coming from the room just two doors down, they all smiled, knowing Phoebe was going to be much happier. She was seven centimeters dilated and 100% effaced, she was in an extreme pain and had finally after four hours asked for something to help with the pain. Tessa told her she was making the right choice that she needed to be able to relax. She was still refusing the epidural, but the pain Meds they gave her let her sleep for about an hour. Tessa walked into the waiting room, and she told them Phoebe was doing alright and had been a trooper she is resting now. She knew they wouldn’t leave until she had the baby, but told them it would be a good time to go grab something to eat. Lucas and Jessie were the first to leave. Tessa went back into the room and told Alex to go stretch his legs and get something to eat, Jade was asleep in the chair beside Phoebe. It was eight o’clock Friday morning, and Phoebe had just had a second dose of pain meds. She was
nine centimeters but now resting, Tessa walked out into the hall and closed her eyes and stretched her back, she rubbed her eyes squatted down and leaned against the wall to rest. Lucas and Jessie were standing in the entry when Tessa’s Jeep pulled in the parking garage. Collin got out and walked up to the doors. Focused, he didn’t look at the people standing outside. He went to the information desk and got directions to the labor and delivery floor. He rode the elevator to the third floor and stepped off following the signs. He looked at his watch it was 8:05. He went to the nurse’s station and was given a lot of attention. He asked for Tessa, and they pointed to her. He walked over and squatted down in front of her and took her sleeping face in his hands. “Good morning, beautiful.” She looked up and smiled “Collin you came?” “You said you needed me.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and they stood up, and held each other for a long time. She finally opened her eyes and looked towards the nurses’ station; they all stood looking at her smiling. She smiled at them. He kissed her forehead, “Everything’s going to be alright.” They held hands and started walking towards the waiting room. “God help me,” she heard Phoebe cry out. She looked at Collin and saw Lucas and Jessie getting off the elevator, she closed her eyes tightly and let out a frustrated sound. Collin followed the direction of her eyes and saw Jessie and what he knew must be Lucas. “I hate to leave you right now.” He grabbed her face and kissed her, “I’m a big boy, I'll be fine. Go help Phoebe and your brother.” Tessa walked into the room and looked at Phoebe, who was now fully dilated and ready to push. “You ready to meet that baby?” Jade looked terrified, Tessa smiled at her, “If you want to leave, you can. Collin’s here, he might enjoy seeing a familiar face,” she nodded to the door. Jade walked out, and he stood leaned against the wall next to the waiting room, “Hey there neighbor how are you doing?” “Hello Jade, how is everything going in there?” They walked in the waiting room together. “Becca you remember Collin, Tessa’s neighbor at the Cape?” she asked with a smile and then rolled her eyes, “Oh and Jessie, you met him too.” “Hello Collin,” Becca said, “Nice to see you again, this is my husband, Joshua.” “Nice to see you as well, pleasure to meet you Joshua,” Collin extended his hand to shake his. “Collin,” Jade laughed, “This is my husband, Ryan.” “Hello Ryan,” Collin smiled. Ryan smiled and glanced towards Lucas nervously “And this is Lucas,” Jade smiled. “Hey,” Lucas looked him up and down. Collin sat in the chair closest to the door, and Jade went over and sat on Ryan’s lap. He hugged her and kissed her cheek tenderly. “How are you doing Jade? You tired?” “I’m scarred for life,” she said and they all laughed, “Glad Tessa is here, and I don’t have to be in there now. Phoebe is a trooper, no epidural for her. She’s ready to have that baby now. It shouldn’t be long.” Collin looked around the room, Lucas was glaring at him. He held eye contact with him until Lucas looked away.
“Would anyone like some coffee or tea?” Collin asked many of them said they would. When Collin left Lucas looked at Jade, and she smirked at him. Everyone sat silently. Joshua broke the silence. “He seems like a nice guy. Coming all this way to see Tessa, must be a great neighbor.” Becca and Jade smiled knowingly at one another, and in unison said “Yes, that was nice of him.” “So is she banging him now?” Lucas asked pissed off. Collin walked in and put the tray on the table in the waiting room “No, I don’t bang.” He winked at Jade and turned grabbing a tea for Tessa and walked towards the nurses’ station. He smiled, “Would one of you see that Miss Ross gets this?” Collin stood in the hallway, not wanting to return to the waiting room, he wanted to punch that asshole in the face, it made him angry hearing him talk about Tessa like that. Infuriated him to think he had ever put his hands on her, he wondered how many others had touched her, and he leaned against the wall and squatted down. He could hear Tessa talking. *** Phoebe was crowning, she was exhausted, and in an extreme amount of pain, she would no longer hold her knees up. Alex was terrified. “You’re doing great,” Tessa told him. “I feel useless, there isn’t a damn thing I can do!” Alex wanted desperately to make this easier for her. “She did exactly what you needed her to Alex, now she’s tired, and it’s time for you to step in. She needs to bare down and is too exhausted to hold herself up. So, right now you are going to help her sit up, she isn’t going to like it. Then you’re going to climb into bed behind her and put her between your legs and act like a chair holding her up” Tessa instructed. “Then you’re going to kiss her head and rub her back, and when she calls you an asshole Alex, you’re going to calmly say I know.” Alex removed his shoes and climbed into bed behind Phoebe, “What the hell are you doing Alex? Isn’t this what got us here in the first place!” “Phoebe, doggy style?” Tessa asked. Phoebe closed her eyes tightly and laughed as she shook her head, “Yes.” “We’re going to have a boy today,” Tessa smiled. “How do you know?” she yelled through the contraction. Tessa took the opportunity to quietly instruct Alex, “Grab behind her knees and gently pull them towards her.” “Damn it Alex, that hurts,” Phoebe yelled, and he kissed her head. Tessa checked to see if the doctor was stretching her so she wouldn’t tear, Dr. Brown looked at her. “I know what I’m doing Tessa, concentrate on keeping her head together, I can handle this,” she laughed. “Phoebe, do you want to know why I think it’s a boy?” Phoebe shook her head yes as she leaned back into Alex. “The sperm that causes the baby to be male are like sprinters, they run fast for a short amount of time. The female sperm take their time, they check things out, and you know kind of hanging out with their friends and enjoying themselves, they can go much further, they have endurance. So if you were doggy style when this little one was conceived the chances are great for a boy. Deeper penetration you know, especially if it was a Friday night when Alex here had been in the fields all week after classes holding them guys back for a few days.” Phoebe laughed through her pain. She was contracting. “Could you do me a favor and push really hard now, like you’re going number two, I need to see if
I’m right. Alex, when she starts pushing you pull her legs up got it.” Tessa kissed Phoebe cheek, “Let’s get this done.” Phoebe pushed, and the baby’s head was almost all the way out. “Ouch, damn it — I can’t do this,” she cried. Tessa grabbed a mirror and faced it so Phoebe could see. “Look Pheeb’s you can see the baby’s head, one more push like that and your baby will be out and in your arms.” Phoebe pushed and screamed as Alex held her legs. Dr. Brown smiled, “Alex you want to climb down here and do the honors?” “Phoebe, it’s a boy, it’s a boy, I have a nephew!” she kissed her and tears fell down her face. Alex cut the cord and the nurses cleaned him off and swaddled him and handed him to Phoebe. She cried, Tessa hugged them both. He was six weeks early, but his APGAR scores were perfect. He was 7 pounds and 19 inches long. He had a lot of hair, and it was blonde, he cried when they gave him his first immunizations and so did Phoebe. His O2 levels were great, and they were not concerned about his lung functions, he was a healthy beautiful baby boy. “You did great, and he is healthy and perfect. Alex you better go let the crew know, but hurry back, your family needs you,” Tessa sat and watched as Phoebe looked at her precious baby boy. “Now Tessa, this is true love,” she whispered as she kissed her newborn baby’s head. *** “They all can’t wait to meet little Remington” Alex smiled as he returned and kissed Phoebe. “Really Alex, you want to name him after a gun?” “I think it’s a good name Phoebe please?” “Alright — Remington it is.” “It’s beautiful Phoebe,” Tessa said with a smile. Tessa walked into the hallway and saw Collin standing against the wall. God he was beautiful. Perfectly put together all the damn time. His hair was her favorite, soft and long enough on top to hold onto. He was always well and put together. He was all long, lean muscle, very strong, extraordinarily broad and toned. She smiled at him and then remembered she was in light green scrubs. Suddenly feeling self- conscious she looked down and tugged at her shirt. “Hey beautiful, how’s the little guy?” he asked. She smiled and hugged him, “Walk down here with me I’m sure they are all anxious to hear about him as well.” They walked into the waiting room hand in hand; he smiled as he looked down at her while she smiled and looked around the room. “Well, you all would be happy to know that she has agreed to Remington.” They all hooted howled, “He is 7 pounds and 22 inches long. He has a lot of hair and it very blonde, even though he is early his lung functions and APGAR scores are great. He won’t be moved to Upstate.” “You going to introduce your friend, Tess,” Lucas snapped. “Well, I figured that had already been done, sorry how rude of me. Collin Abraham, this is Ryan, and Josh, they have been friends of mine since kindergarten. And you have met Jade and Becca, and this is Lucas and oh that’s right you met Jessie as well,” she smirked. “Nice to meet you all, again,” he smiled, and without thinking bent down and kissed Tessa on the head. “Why don’t you two get a fucking room?” Lucas stood and puffed up his chest. “Why don’t you sit down there killer,” Collin said raising his eyebrow. “He’s right,” Becca said, “This is neither the time nor place for you to act like a jackass.” Her husband’s mouth dropped, and they all stared at her.
“It’s a donkey, not a curse word,” Becca said rationalizing her outburst. Tessa laughed, “Becca, Becca. We’re all human, I’m sure it’ll be forgiven.” They all laughed. Tessa went to see if Phoebe was ready for company, she was. Tess walked back into the waiting room, seeing Lucas glaring at Collin as Collin leaned against the wall looking back at him appearing slightly amused. “Alright two at a time go ahead and meet that little precious gift.” Jade and Ryan went first. “Did he already see him?” Lucas asked Tessa nodding to Collin. “No, Lucas he hasn’t, but he will soon. Remington is my nephew,” Tessa answered calmly, “Hey Lucas, this is for Alex and Phoebe okay?” “I’m going in FIRST! First,” Lucas repeated and looked at Collin. Collin’s eyes flashed red, his nostrils flared as he looked towards Tessa. She looked exhausted and torn. “Can you and I take a walk until they have all met Remington? Because today is about him, not the order people go in,” Collin stood and took her hand and kissed it as they walked out. She walked towards the nurse’s station and brought him back to the break room. “I’m sorry about that, he has — issues,” Tessa said with a weak smile. She sat on an old orange tweed chair; he leaned down and picked her up, and was sitting down with her cradled in his arms when one of the nurses walked in. She blushed, “Oh please, excuse me.” “Rosie come in, we’re just going to wait in here until everyone else has gone in. When you go out would you please let Jade know I am in here?” Tessa asked. Rosie grabbed the supplies she needed and walked out of the room with a smile on her face. Tessa stood up and grabbed the hospital issued toothbrush and toothpaste out of the cupboard and brushed her teeth in the sink, Collin asked if he could use it and she handed it to him. He brushed his teeth and then grabbed her and pulled her down hard on his lap. He kissed her softly and pulled her into him. He kissed her again, but this time harder, her head spun, she was exhausted but excited to see him, touch him, and to be held by him. “What’s going on in here” Jade called as she and Ryan walked through the door. “You hiding on big bad Lucas?” “Not hiding just putting a hold on teaching him when it’s appropriate and when it’s not to try pushing buttons. He is not ever to speak to her like that again,” Collin said through his now clenched jaw. “He’s just figuring out what he lost, you know,” Ryan said to Collin, “Don’t let him get to you man.” Jade smiled as he spoke. Collin could see how much she adored him. Regardless of how crude she could be they were in love, and he could tell. Collin shook his head in agreement. When they had all met the baby Tessa and Collin went in, “Hey guys I wanted Collin to meet Remington. Collin this is Remington.” “Hello Phoebe,” Collin said, “Tessa said that you where one brave woman, congratulations. Hello, Alex nice to see you again” They shook his hand. “And you must be Remington, welcome to the world little man, you have a very strong name.” Tessa smiled knowing how happy that would make Alex. They chatted for a bit and decided they would be back on Sunday to visit either here or at their house. Phoebe wanted a picture of Tessa, Collin, and Remington, “Absolutely, can you take one with my phone too?” ***
They walked out to the Jeep, and there was a note on the windshield addressed to Tessa on the hospital’s letterhead, she grabbed it and read it aloud. Tessa, You really are pissing me off! Which I’m sure, is exactly why you brought that dick here. You need to grow up and get over it. I’ve moved on maybe you should do the same, when you’re ready. I know you’re not over me yet because you’re trying to rub my nose in shit, meaning that douche bag. You may want to keep him away, I’m not fucking joking. He left it unsigned. She looked at Collin and immediately wished she hadn’t read it out loud. His eyes were narrowed and jaw set. She hugged him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have read that.” “I would have insisted,” he growled. She let go of him and stood back and crossed her arms and laughed. “It’s not funny Tessa,” he said through his teeth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up wrapping her legs around him. “You’re kind of hot when you’re mad,” she teased, and she kissed him. A car drove by and honked, Lucas hung out the window and yelled, “Don’t start being a whore now, Tessa!” Collin pulled away from Tessa and flung open the passenger door and firmly sat her in the seat, he reached over and buckled her in. He got in and started the Jeep and threw it into drive and threw it in reverse. He peeled out following the car. “Ignore it Collin, he’s being stupid!” He drove quickly through the garage Lucas was two cars ahead of them paying the parking attendant. He was tapping his finger on the steering wheel rapidly. She could see the anger in his eyes. “Collin please, just let it go.” “He is not going to talk to you like that, you’re not his anymore,” he hissed. She threw the Jeep into park and pulled the keys out. “What are you doing?” “Collin, he is trying to push your buttons, and you’re letting him. I don’t care what he says or does. I’ve dealt with enough of him, and you are scaring me, please stop,” she pleaded. “Tessa give me the keys,” he glared at her. She handed them to him; he pulled up and waited for the car ahead to pay. Thank God they’re taking forever, Tessa thought as she sat back “Collin, I fell in love with you because you’re nothing like him. I fell in love with you Collin because you made me feel like I mattered. Right now, I’m not seeing that and I’m terrified, and you don’t seem to even know I’m here. Do whatever it is you need to do, wake me up when we get to my parent’s place.” He drove fast and didn’t look at her or even hold her hand like he did before. Tears rolled down her face, and she fell asleep. Tessa felt him unbuckle her seat buckle and kiss her head. She opened her eyes and noticed that they were on a side road about half a mile from the farm. She looked at him confused. He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the Jeep. He lifted her up and sat her on the hood. “Tessa I need you to understand a few things. Please don’t interrupt. That ass has been in my shit all day. I’ve sucked it up and the final straw was when he stressed go first. I’m sick knowing he has touched what I want — that he had you for five years. I’m disgusted that he feels he can determine when you should move on,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m going crazy thinking he knows you better, and that maybe he knows you’re not ready. I’m ready to fuck him up having heard him call you a whore, especially remembering you tell me you liked being a whore in the bedroom. I’m ready to blow Tessa.
Then you lay that shit on me in the car, what’re you trying to do to me?” Collin was angry, but she could see him searching for answers. “This is new for me. I told you I don’t do relationships, and this feeling in my gut and anger in my head, is exactly why. The last person I loved… she was… I fucking killed someone because a piece of shit touched her, abused her. He thought he could… DAMN IT! Do you understand what I’m saying Tessa?” Tears started to flow from her eyes. “Damn it Tessa,” he yelled and she jumped in fear. Tessa looked at him; she didn’t know what to say. He walked away and yelled behind him, “I know my way, I’ll walk.” Tessa jumped down and got in her Jeep and peeled out, leaving a large rubber streak down the road and dust in his face. She walked into the house and was greeted by a very happy tail wagging crazy dog. “Well, hello girl, you look great,” she hugged her and grabbed her leash. No one was home, and she was relieved. She took Leia and walked down through the corn field. The corn was brown and almost ready to be picked. She was sure her father must be combining beans today; it was that time of the year. They got to the edge of the woods, and she made her way down the trail to the falls. She let Leia off the leash and let her play in the water. She sat down and took a deep breath and cried. This wasn’t going to end well, and she knew it. She knew it was too soon and that he was far from ready. She sat crying for a long time. Leia was tired she hoped that she hadn’t overdone it with her. She decided to let her rest before hiking back up the hill. She leaned against a tree and fell asleep. She woke to Leia barking. She was startled and felt out of sorts as she stood up to see what she was barking at. She saw him standing next to a tree, and Leia was bounding up to him. He patted her head and walked to Tessa. “Your brother told me he thought you might be down here.” “Oh.” “I was worried about you, you’ve been gone for two hours,” he said trying to hide his annoyance. She started walking up the trail, and he and Leia followed. They walked to the field him falling behind her purposefully he knew she was still angry and it left him feeling insecure. They walked to the driveway leading to the house. “Tessa, would you say something please?” “I’m tired” she responded and continued walking. They walked into the house silently, no one was home. “Make yourself at home,” she said.”I need a shower.” She took a long hot shower and grabbed her robe off the hook, she walked out of the bathroom, and he stood up, eyes wide waiting for her to say something, anything. “There are towels in the bathroom if you want to shower. I’m going upstairs to take a nap,” she walked up the stairs and grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top and threw them on and lay in her double bed and fell asleep. He took a shower and changed his clothes. He walked up the stairs and looked in the rooms until he found Tessa. She was fast asleep covered with a quilt, he didn’t wait for an invitation, and he climbed in and wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep next to the woman he loved. When he woke she wasn’t there, and it was almost dark. He got up and walked down the stairs, her mother was in the kitchen. “Well, hello Collin,” she said, “If you’re looking for Tessa, she’s out helping her father dry beans. If you walk out and hang a right in the driveway, you won’t be able to miss it. “Thank you,” he said quietly. He walked out and saw her high atop the dryer. He didn’t like her up that high. She had on some very short cut off jean shorts and a tight thermal shirt; she also wore a straw hat and black rubber boots that went almost to her knees. Again he was shocked at how hot she looked, down boy he thought to himself,
she’s understandably pissed at you and her dad’s standing right there. He walked up to her father and shook his hand. There was no use in trying to make conversation; he could tell by her Dad’s face that he knew she was angry at him. The equipment was so loud it wouldn’t have mattered if he did. She was coming down the ladder, and he watched her carefully as he stood at the bottom afraid she may fall. She smacked her dusty leather gloves together and turned and saw him standing there. His hands buried deep in his pockets, shoulders slumped looking at her like a little puppy dog who had been scolded for chewing up a shoe. She smiled with a piece of straw in her mouth and kicked at the dirt a bit. He slowly took a step closer to her and she looked up, finally making eye contact. He took her hands and mouthed; “I’m sorry.” John watched as she took his arms and wrapped them around her and hugged him. Collin smelled her hair and kissed the top of her head. He turned aware her father was standing there and tipped his head to him. Her father smiled and turned off the dryer. “Supper should be ready in a few minutes,” he said as he walked away. “Tessa I’m sorry, I was an ass. I’m not angry at you, you did nothing wrong, it was me.” Collin looked at the ground. “Tessa will you please say something?” “Do you love me Collin?” “Yes, Tessa I do, why?” “I just wanted to know, I accept your apology. Now let’s go eat supper” she took his hand and walked towards the house. He was confused but happy she had forgiven him. Supper was great; they had corn, potatoes, and steak. He watched her the entire time and everyone was aware of it. He knew they were staring, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was whether or not she and he were okay. After dinner she offered to clear the table, he helped her. Her parents went out on the deck and waited for the other kids to come over. She washed, and he dried, neither saying a word. She was relaxed and happy. When they finished, he looked at her, “Tessa, can we take a walk?” “The rest of my family will be here soon. I’d like to see them,” she smiled up at him, “and I need a shower.” “I promise it won’t take long Tessa, please?” “Alright, after I shower,” she walked into the bathroom and took a shower. He walked outside and sat with her parents. “It’s beautiful here. So peaceful.” “It is when you’re not staring at it all thinking of what has to be done,” John laughed. “But when you think deeper and realize what your hard work does, you get a feeling that can’t be replicated and a smile in your heart. We feed more people with these crops than are people in our community. There’s a lot of satisfaction in that,” Maggie smiled. Tessa came to the door, “You ready, Collin?” He stood up immediately. They walked across the main road and down a dirt road. He took her hand, and she let him. “Tessa I know I was an ass, and you must have a lot to say to me, so please say something — anything.” “You scared me today.” He frowned as he listened to her. “I didn’t understand if you love me why you just didn’t let it go like I asked. I’m sure of my feelings for you; I just wish you’d not scare me Collin. I talked to my dad today, and he said something about men and marking their territory. That Lucas feels because he was here first, he felt that he could call the shots. And that because of that you felt angry and
well anyway. I’m sorry you were not my first physical love Collin,” she took his hand and placed it on her head, “but here actually knowing that you care, and here,” she placed her hand on her heart, “has never been touched by anyone as deeply, even though at the time I thought that Lucas and I loved each other, it wasn’t love in the true sense. We were kids. You have me here Collin, and if you think about it and let go a bit you may realize you had me here 10 years ago, way before Lucas. I hope for right now that’s enough to put you at ease,” she smiled. He took several deep breaths managing to stop him from getting too emotional. “Now if for some reason that doesn’t work and you’d like to piss on my leg to mark your territory, I guess I could allow that. Definitely won’t be the first though,” She laughed trying to lighten the mood, and he hugged her. “Please don’t be mad at me for talking to my dad. I never listened to them before. Had I listened I would have stayed at my Aunt Ann’s for a couple more week’s. Instead of watching their marriage fall apart. And probably spent a lot more time with you at the church,” Tessa reached for his hand, “I love you, Collin.” “I love you,” at that moment he knew he could never be without her. They walked back hand in hand both looking much happier as they walked onto the back deck. Her whole family was there, and so was Jade and Ryan. “Where have you two been?” Jade smirked and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Just went for a walk, I have to go inside for a minute, I’ll be right back,” Tessa excused herself, and he sat down with her family. “So Collin, we know so little about you, tell us about your family,” Maggie smiled. Jade handed him a drink. He took a deep breath and took a drink; well this will save her from going through it. Tessa walked out as he began, “Collin you don’t have to do this.” Tessa shot an angry glance at all of them. “It’s okay, and this way you won’t have to,” he smiled “it’s ok Tessa, but thank you.” He pulled her into is lap and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. He finished his beer and Jade handed him another. He told them everything, from not knowing his father to his mother’s addiction to the neglect he endured, his problem home life spilling into school and a wake up call. “Okay Collin,” she said tears flowing down her cheeks, “You don’t have to, as long as I love you, they will too; you don’t have to go on.” He gently wiped her tears, “I’m ok. Are you okay with this?” “I just don’t want you to have to keep going through this.” He smiled as he told them about his first kiss and the kind beautiful little girl with the blue ribbon. Her sisters, mother, and Jade’s eyes were red when he talked about the murder. He didn’t give too much detail, just that he made a deal with her and that Pastor Lou watched out for his siblings. He told them about the death of his brother that he believed was his mother and not drugs and moved to his sister’s murder. He told them about his education and military time. And then in detail told them what had happened just a few days ago. They looked horrified; Tessa knew she would hear about that later. He finished by telling them about the last night of VBS, and the realization that the little girl in the blue ribbon was Tessa. Thank God that was what their focus was on, the awe moment. Tessa went and grabbed the album Pastor Lou had given her and they passed it around. A distraction from the horror story they had just heard. No one acted any different. They all hugged him including her father. “You’ve overcome the impossible son. I’m honored to know you,” John smiled.
They sat around the fire, and Jade came over and whispered in her ear “You sure you're okay Tessa that’s a lot to deal with.” “Jade I’m fine, we‘ll analyze him in great detail later,” she giggled. Jade and Ryan were the first to leave. The rest of them started to trickle out. Tessa yawned. “I’m ready for bed,” she announced to her parents. “Collin can have your brother’s room tonight I already put fresh sheets and a blanket on it.” Maggie smiled. “Do you want to show him where it is, or can I?” she asked sarcastically. “Go ahead dear I’ll be up to tuck YOU in soon,” Maggie smiled. She took him upstairs and showed him the room. “Sorry, it’s not what you’re used to.” “It's perfect,” he took her in his arms and kissed her. “I don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight without you in my arms,” she said. “But I don’t think the warden would go for it.” They both laughed loudly. “I’ll be up in a minute Tessa, goodnight Collin,” Maggie yelled up. “Where is she?” he asked grinning. “Everywhere,” Tessa said with a look of horror. “Do you need anything before bed? She’ll probably deadbolt us in here tonight.” He looked so happy and childlike, and she realized he had probably completely bypassed the silly teenage crush thing but then again she pretty much did too. Tessa smiled, “Goodnight, Collin Abraham, I will see YOU in the morning.” She walked into her room as her mother was coming up the stairs. “Tessa I’m not kidding about this, not under my roof, not while I am living in this house. You will not have sex with anyone do you understand me?” Maggie told her sternly. “Mom seriously, could you keep your voice down he is in the room five feet from here, he can hear everything you're saying,” Tessa pleaded. “Well good… that way I won’t have to repeat myself,” Maggie said a bit louder. Tessa heard her dad giggle from downstairs. “Even Dad can hear you,” Tessa continued pleading. “That’s right, and he is downstairs, you’ll do well to remember that young lady and you too Collin,” she said. “Yes Ma’am,” Collin chuckled. “Honest to God Mom…” she started. “I couldn’t keep you from making mistakes back then, but I will now,” she said, “Both of you, got it?” “Yes Ma’am,” they said in unison, and he giggled like a little boy which made her laugh. Her mom kissed her head and went across the hall. “Collin, I’m asking you,” Maggie started, “Good Lord Dad would you stop her,” Tessa whined. “Nope, sorry Tessa. Had we not screwed up back then you wouldn’t have made the mistakes you had and gone through the heartache. Sorry, I’m with her on this,” John yelled up and then chuckled. “As I was saying I don’t know what happened at the Cape house, but I don’t want any nonsense in here understand me?” she said. “Ma’am I can promise you that. I can also tell you your daughter and I have not had sex.” “Collin, really, she doesn’t need to know about my sex life or, in this case, lack thereof,” Tessa groaned. Her mother looked at him and whispered “Really?” Collin whispered back, “I swear ma’am.”
Maggie hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. “Well, alright then, good night you two,” she said shutting the door. There were three loud beeps. “MOM” Tessa yelled, “FOR REAL.” “Yes dear, for real” Maggie replied. Tessa laughed. Her Mom was right, had they not been a mess and stayed a strong family, she probably would not have pushed so hard to be with Lucas. And we wouldn’t have screwed each other up as badly as they did. She stood up and grabbed her phone from her bag and she texted Collin, - FYI there are seriously alarms on the door, the kind that chime like store doors when you open them…. XOXO Tessa Collin laughed - Thanks for the heads up… she is a treat Tessa. Put your phone on vibrate she might hear it XOXOXOXO Collin - Is there white board’s still above the beds? XXXXXOOOOO Tessa - Yes, why? XOXOXOXOXOOX….. CURIOUS Collin - We use to hold the magnets opposite against the door, and it would disarm the alarm we had enough time to reach out and turn it off. XOXOXOX …. VERY NAUGHTY Tessa - I think I would like to meet very naughty Tessa…. XOXOXXX Still CURIOUS Collin - Then you shall….when they’re asleep I will message you…. XOXOXOXXX Naughty Tessa Out (For Now) She heard the TV turn off, and her parents went to bed. - Naughty Tessa calling CURIOUS Collin - I am here XOXOXO… Collin - You okay, or is being locked in there annoying? Please tell me the truth; we can leave anytime you want. I Love You… Tessa - I am great, honestly. Today was highly emotional but freeing, all because of you I Love you…Collin - Ok, so my parent’s room is honestly at the very bottom of the stairs. This house is over a hundred years old (as if I have to point that out). And I want to see you!!!!! I NEED TO SEE YOU!!!! - I am going to try the magnet trick… wish me luck.... Tessa - Oh, Tessa you’re going to get us in trouble… but if you must I don’t want to stop you…XOXOXOXXXXX Collin He was sitting on the bed checking his email when she started the texting, trying to go over some of the documents for the upcoming trial. He was more than happy to play this little game instead.
- OK, I DID IT, NOW TRY YOURS!!!! WAITING… TESSA! Collin popped his door without issue and opened it smiling. She grabbed a pillow and flopped down just inside her doorway her hands under her chin looking up at him grinning. Wow, she’s going to kill me, FUCK, he thought. He smiled back at her. - Aren’t you going to get in your PJ’S…? Tessa - Are you… Collin - Sure… Tessa She raised her eyebrow and stood up and texted. - I want your shirt…as far as I know she hasn’t installed motion sensors…Tessa She grinned at him and pushed send. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, and she was smiling as she watched him. He threw it over to her. She caught it, smelled it and fanned herself smiling. He texted her back. - now I want yours… Collin She looked down and shook her head no. - now!!!!!... Collin She blew him a kiss and shut the door. His phone vibrated - what kind of girl do you think I am?!?!?! Goodnight… see you tomorrow… Tessa - I can’t wait!... Collin
CHAPTER TEN Tessa woke up and opened the door, and she hit the chime to trick her Mom and turned his on. She went down and showered. When she came out, she looked around to find Collin and smiled at her mom. “You just missed him Tessa. He went to help your dad with hay in the barn next door,” Maggie smiled. “Good morning Mom,” Tessa kissed her. Tessa ran upstairs and made her bed and got dressed. When she came down, her mom was sitting at the table. “Tessa could we talk for a minute,” Maggie patted the chair next to her. “Honey are you okay? I didn’t want to say too much in front of Collin, the poor dear, but I really am disturbed about this whole thing, why didn’t you call honey?” “It was really crazy Mom. I planned to tell you, but the police had my phone. Collin got a replacement and then Jade called and well — I’m home now and I have to say honest to God there’s no place like it,” Tessa hugged her Mom. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk to someone about this, to process it?” “Mom thank you, but Jade was here last night, I think it will be well processed after she gets a hold of me,” she rolled her eyes. “Ok Tessa, but I want you to talk to me if you need anything,” Maggie pressed. “I will Mom,” Tessa smiled. “I’m going next door now.” *** Tessa walked out the door and got in the old farm truck and drove through the back to the hay barn. She stood out of the top and watched them throw hay. Collin was in a tee, soaked with sweat, he had a white hat on backward and a few rips in his jeans that sat just the way she liked them. She jumped out and he saw her, someone threw a hay bale and he was staring at her and it hit him, he ignored it and continued watching her as she walked towards him. She wore a pair of tight bootlegged jeans and a red plaid shirt tied in the front, she had on shades and her hair was pulled through a navy baseball cap. She grabbed a piece of hay and stuck it in her mouth as she walked towards him exaggerating the natural sway in her hips. She walked right passed him and grinned. “Where do you want me Dad?” she asked. “You’re seriously going to do hay?” Jake laughed. “I was pushing hay bales when you were still in diapers Jake.” “You and he unload,” her father said, and road a bale up to the mow. “Think you can keep up?” she smiled as she bent over right in front of him and grabbed a bale. “I sure would like to try,” he smiled slowly looking her up and down. She climbed to the top of the wagon. “You better watch me to make sure you don’t catch a bale in the head,” she said as she pushed bale after bale down to him. “That I will, you can count on it,” he said and grabbed the first bale and loaded it. “Did my daddy teach you how to do that right Abraham?” “No ma’am, but I think I can catch on,” he said as he loaded the bales as fast as he could. The elevator stopped, and she jumped down from the pile of bales and off the wagon and unplugged it. She climbed up the elevator and pulled the bale that was stuck and threw it on the ground. “Sorry Daddy,” she yelled up.
She plugged it back in, and he offered her a hand while she climbed back up. He pulled her to him and smiled, “Feisty little thing.” She pulled back, and smacked him on the ass, “You better pace yourself boy, wouldn’t want you petering out on us.” She threw another bale down, and he loaded each as he watched her move. After the load was finished, the guys came down from the mow covered in sweat. Tessa’s dad hopped on the tractor to pull the wagon away. He called Maggie, “Hey hold on lunch, Tessa seems to have a point to prove to the new guy. We have five more wagons if we keep this up we may not have to do hay tomorrow.” “Tessa baby… when did you get home?” Frank smiled. “Yesterday, how are you doing Frankie?” “Much better now,” he winked. “Hey Tessa,” Mark said “how’s it going since the breakup? You know I’m still single right.” “Shocking Mark I’ll keep that in mind,” Tessa rolled her eyes. Jim jumped down and scooped her up and swung her around, “Tessa look at you, damn you look fine.” “Jimmy thanks, did you ever think I wouldn’t,” she winked. She looked up at Collin and smiled, he was not smiling. “Hey guys this is Collin,” she grabbed his hand. She looked up at him and still he didn’t smile or look at her. He nodded his head and jumped down in front of them and walked over to the water jug, and drank down a glass and then another. He stood back and pouted, they all knew he was annoyed. They walked over to grab water, “Hey Tessa,” Jimmy said, “The fall festival starts tonight, how about we make a little wager?” “What did you have in mind?” she asked as she untied the front of her shirt and let the hay chaff fallout. “Holy shit,” Frankie coughed. She looked up, and they were all staring at her. “Seriously!” she said as she slapped him on the back of his head “It itches you adolescent jackass!” They all laughed. “There she is the girl we grew up with, not the lap dog she was with Links,” Mark laughed. She threw hay at him, “Shut up you little Weenie.” “About that wager?” “Let's hear it.” “You and YOUR FRIEND, take the mow, you can have your Dad too. If we can unload all five wagons and you don’t fall behind or say uncle you win,” he said smiling. “What’s at stake?” “You got to dance all night with us tonight at the fall festival and do a shot an hour,” he smiled and winked. “If we win, you help my Dad every weekend until hay is done, you also help dry corn any free time you have free of charge?” “Sure,” he smiled and stuck out his hand. “Deal,” she shook his. “You been in a mow yet Collin?” “No Tessa, but if those punks can keep up so can I.” “We better,” she said, “Or we are going out tonight. Let’s get this done,” she said as she kissed his sweaty neck. “Hey Ken,” Frankie called after him, “Get your hands off my girl's ass.” “Keep walking hot stuff,” she pulled Collin behind her, “Keep walking.”
Her dad climbed up in the mow. “Tessa what the hell is going on? What bet did you make? There are five of them on the wagon and three of us up here. Have you lost your mind?” “Nope, we are working on free help for the rest of corn and hay season. I ‘m going to start the unloading, you two stack.” They started, and it was one right after the other, she knew it would be, she threw them back as fast as she could. She did not get behind, and Collin stacked three to one with her dad. They sat down and waved taking turns on the wagon and taunting Tessa. Collin was impressed, and a bit turned on she had stamina beyond his imagination. After the third load, she phoned her Mom. “Hey, call dad’s cell and pretend a pipe broke or something, he looks tired, and I want him out of the mow, it’s my fault I made a stupid bet.” She bent down and breathed; Collin had gone down and grabbed a water. “Tessa you going to be able to keep up?” he stroked her cheek. “Are you?” she smiled. “Absolutely, you just throw as far as you can, I can handle it,” Collin said. “Do we get a third up here, till Dad gets back,” Tessa yelled down. “You givin’ up baby,” Frankie yelled up. “I can come up there and give you a hand or two,” Mark laughed. “Shut up assholes” they heard Jake yelled from the tractor. “What’s going on,” Ryan yelled as he jumped up off the tractor. “Nothing bud,” Jimmy chuckled. The elevator started up, and they went to work. “One down two to go,” she said smiling. “Tessa, just say the word, and I‘ll go down and finish this now,” Collin sneered as he looked down. She grabbed her phone and sent a text message. She smiled at Collin and shoved the phone in her bra. On the next load, she started to slow down, and he noticed. He stepped up his pace, and they finished. Jake came up with water and looked at them. “Tessa are you out of your mind?” he handed them water, he was angry. “Let it go Jake,” she spoke taking deep breaths. “We got this.” They drank water and breathed heavily, he looked like he wanted to kick her ass. She smiled at him apologetically as they heard the elevator start. Her dad climbed up the ladder and took over unloading. Tessa helped stack and Collin was a complete animal, she was smiling the entire time. The bales started coming slower and slower. Tessa laughed out loud, “Back up’s here.” Collin looked confused, and she saw John laugh. He caught up and looked down, there was Jade in tight pants with a halter top and pigtails, talking to the boys. She bent over several times to pick up cups and threw them in the back of a truck. She fanned her face as if she was hot and poured the cup down her white halter, she bit her lip and giggled. Tessa pushed Collin down and told him to sit. She could do the rest herself. With only a couple dozen bales to go Jade looked up and blew Tessa a kiss, she walked away and got in her car and drove off. Tessa looked down at the boys and yelled. “Skirts off girls let’s get this done, some of us have plans.” They finished, and her Dad, walked down the ladder. Tessa jumped in Collin’s arms and he fell over. She pulled his shirt over his head and took it off him, she kissed his sweaty neck and was making her way down his stomach and stopped at his belly button. His eyes were closed, and she blew on his belly making a loud sound. She laughed and stood up; she pulled him to his feet. “Not bad for a new guy,” she laughed and slide down the elevator he climbed down the ladder and
met her at the bottom. “So Dad, these girls are yours for the rest of the summer, don’t take it easy on them,” Tessa said as she and Collin walked hand in hand to the truck. *** They drove to the house and jumped out and ran in. “Mom can you pack a lunch up we are going to go to the pond,” she dropped her pants and ran through the house. Collin looked shocked, Maggie smiled, “Sorry about that, I’ll grab you a towel, no chaff in the house you’re going to have to drop them too.” Maggie returned with a towel, and he wrapped it around himself and removed his pants, “Leave them there; I will take care of them.” Collin walked up the stairs and looked in Tessa’s room. She was standing there in a bra and underwear, ones he had bought her. He stood smiling wrapped in a towel, and she was bending over to pull on some pants. She looked in the hall and ran to the door and kicked it shut. He laughed and walked in and changed. She met him downstairs, she was brushing her teeth, and he was going into the bathroom to do the same. He picked her up and sat her on the long counter and grabbed his toothbrush and started brushing. She started making goofy faces at him, and he laughed. Her mother walked in with a basket of dirty clothes and saw them making faces. Maggie laughed as she set the basket down and walked out. They came into the kitchen, and she told them to sit and drink some water. “Tessa I’m not sure if you’re fond of Collin here or trying to kill him. That was an awful lot of work you two did today, but you’re going to drink a couple glasses of water before you go anywhere, understand me?” she scolded her gently. “As long as you get to packing us lunch we’ll drink,” Tessa smiled. They drank enough to satisfy Maggie and walked outside with a picnic basket and set it in the back of the truck, she grabbed her phone to text Jade. - Thanks for the backup sister, I owe you one… Tessa She pushed send. Her phone chimed. - You do …meet us at the festival tonight; sing… just one song for me PLEASE!!!... Jade Tessa read it aloud. She looked at Collin and gave him puppy dog eyes. “If that's what you want to do, we will,” he smiled. They drove down the long driveway that ran along a corn field. On the other side were blackberry bushes. They pulled up in front of the pond and sat for a minute. It was beautiful and private, just the two of them. He held her hand and kissed it. He got out of the truck and opened up the driver’s door and helped her out. She grabbed a blanket off the back of the seat, and he grabbed the basket. She laid out the blanket, and he sat the basket on it. Collin reached in and turned on the radio and sat against the tire. He pulled her down to sit between his legs. She grabbed the chicken salad sandwiches and handed him half of one. They sat quietly and fed each other until every bit of the food was gone. The breeze was welcoming to their hot, exhausted bodies; they had finally relaxed. Tessa saw him looking at the pond, “This is one of my favorite places.” “I can see why, it's peaceful and private, a great place to go and think,” He said. “By the way do you want to tell me about those boys at the hay barn?”
“Oh, they are just my brother’s friends. They’re harmless.” She could feel his body’s tense up behind her. “Tessa that wasn’t harmless. They looked at you and talked to you like you were a part of their adolescent wet dreams. I didn’t like it at all; I was actually a little irritated that you were carrying on with them.” “I’m sure I was,” she said laughing, “But it's harmless Collin.” “Not funny Tessa and if I wasn’t exhausted you’d be in deep shit,” she knew he meant it. “I love you.” “I love you, Tessa.” He felt her body completely relax and knew she was asleep. He wrapped his arms around her kissed her head, leaned his head back against the truck tire and fell asleep too. They heard horns blaring, and they woke up, she sat up and stretched she looked at him and smiled. He seemed a bit guarded, and she felt bad for that. The guys pulled up behind them and piled out of the truck, all in shorts and shirtless. He looked down, and she could see the anger in his eyes. She climbed on his lap and straddled him. “Okay, so I’m not sure what to do to make this better, so I’m going to start by asking. Does it bother you that I’m sitting on you like this in front of the boys? Does it make you feel better because they see that I’m into you? Or does it make you angry?” “Tessa I don’t know, right now I want to go smash their heads together, and you’re holding me down. Which don’t get me wrong I like it but damn my head is spinning. Why do you have these kinds of relationships with men?” “I don’t know what that means. What do you mean?” “Why do you like that type of attention? Why is it alright for them to talk to you like that?” “It’s just silly joking, I don’t know — it's fun?” What the hell does that mean, she thought. She was mad at him, and she didn’t know why. She stood up and looked at him. “I’m ready to go home,” she picked up the basket and set it in the truck, Collin grabbed the blanket and got in the passenger side. They left. “I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, and I certainly don’t enjoy the emotional overload, but maybe you should search and find the answer to that question. While you’re at it maybe, you should ask yourself why you called your friend to come put on a little show for them.” She was angry, “Just shut up, and stop talking to me.” He hadn’t meant to piss her off, but that type of behavior was foreign to him unless it was leading to something else. He hated the idea. They pulled into the driveway, and she skid to a stop. She jumped out and ran into the house up the stairs and into her room and lay in bed. He followed her up, “Tessa I wasn’t trying to fight, but I’m asking you to think about it. I need to know, I love you, and you have said you love me, this should be easy.” “Love isn’t easy Collin, it sucks, it’s a job, and when you’re the only person putting forth any effort love is lonely at times. Right now, I need a few minutes so you can march out of this room and feel the lonely part of love, GO!” Collin went in his room and grabbed his shower bag and went downstairs and took a long shower. He dressed and wondered what the hell had happened. He was jealous and pissed because she allowed, no encouraged others to treat her that way. He walked upstairs as she was coming down the stairs, she brushed past him and avoided eye contact with him and showered. She decided to focus on spending time with Jade, excited to be seeing Jade. She understood her,
unlike Collin. She showered and dressed. She went upstairs to fix her hair and makeup, when she was finished she went out on the deck where he was sitting with her brother. “Hey, how are you?” she asked Jake, “Are you going to the harvest festival tonight?” “Yep, Collin is going to chill with us, and we’ll bring him to meet you, is that alright?” Jake asked. “Actually that’s pretty perfect.” She grabbed her phone and texted Jade to come get her when she could she was ready to get drunk! Jade texted back - be there in fifteen “Tessa can we talk for a minute?” “Sure Collin,” she said coldly. They walked towards the field quietly neither saying a word. “I don’t know what happened today, I really don’t, was it me being a jealous ass or you. It doesn’t matter because love is supposed to be patient and kind right?” She shook her head yes, “Well I’m going to work on that because I do love you, I love you very much.” She hugged him but was still very angry. “You to Collin.” Jade pulled in as Collin and Tessa walked back to the deck. She told them all she would see them there. She ran and jumped into the SUV and looked at Jade. “Get me out of here.” Collin looked at Jake, and he ran his fingers through his hair and breathed deep. They could see that there were issues. “Where did Tessa go?” John asked as he walked outside. “With Jade to the festival, we are going to meet them there,” Jake said. “What’s going on with you Collin, you alright?” he asked. “Yes sir,” he said, “I have something to ask you. Sir I’m in love with your daughter and would like your permission to ask her to be my wife.” “You sure you’re ready for that? Tessa has been through some hard times. You sure she’s ready for that?” John asked. “Dad, damn this man just asked you to Marry Tessa, and you’re trying to change his mind?” Jake said. “You have my permission Collin; I think my father is losing it.” “I watch a boy bring your sister to her knees, made her question who the hell she was for years, I watched her hurt and suffer and pull away from this family hiding that pain. I am not saying it was all Lucas’s fault, your mother and I screwed up too, but I see Tessa again, and it makes me happy. Collin if you can be the man she needs and not try to pull her away from this family or change who she is, you have my permission,” John said. Collin shook his hand and thanked him, relieved that was over. Her father went inside to tell his wife. “Well Collin,” Jake said, “when did you decide you wanted to pop the question to my sister?” “About a week ago, there was something about her, and then at the church I knew. I love your sister, but right now I’m angry at her. I didn’t like how today went down with the hay help,” Collin’s eyes narrowed. “Dude they are harmless. We told you about them at the Cape, we lit into them when you guys left. They’re just worried about her that’s all,” Jake said and saw the question in his eye. “They grew up watching a strong, brave girl turn into a girl in need of a man or a boy should I say, who made her his bitch, for lack of better words. She would have done anything for him, and she had always been so strong, independent, and confident.”
“I know it’s hard, but Tessa changed for him. Now we’re getting her back. We all missed her,” Jake said. “And if you aren’t going to share her with us, it’ll be a fight, we’ll fight for her.” “Tessa seems happy when she is around her family. She has so much love inside her, and I would never want to take her away from that.” “Then be patient man,” Jake said. “When do you plan to propose?” “I was planning on doing it tomorrow,” Collin said, “But now I’m not sure.” “You do what you feel is right,” Jake said, “We’ll give you all the support in the world. Collin, just don’t fuck her up:” Collin looked at the sky for a few moments and then smiled at Jake, “I won’t.” “You do know that she is going to be a pile when you see her don’t you? That look in her eyes — she was ready to teach someone something,” Jake laughed. *** Jade knew something was wrong when Tessa got in the car, “What’s up girly?” “I’m so pissed at him, I could spit. He was so mad at me for the way the boys at the hay barn acted, and because he said I basically pimped you out!” she yelled. “HE wants me to think about why I need that kind of attention.” “Well, you did kind of pimp me out,” Jade laughed. “Do you know Tessa? Why we act like that? It’s positive attention. It feels good to have people to want you. Good Lord, look what you lived — what we all lived as kids without guidance when we needed it the most. I look at Lukie and think as much as he needed me when he was little; it’s going to be that times ten when he gets into high school. Just because he will look grown doesn’t mean he will be. Add social expectations, you and I were freaks because we hadn’t had sex as sophomores in high school. We let hormone raging boys raise us, we are very needy. We needed a little less school and a lot more Jesus,” Jade laughed. She saw Tessa scowl “You knew better now. You got out of it, but right now you want this man, and you don’t know any other way than the sex to get him. I’m not saying sex is bad Tessa because it’s NOT! And I am sure it’s much deeper than that with the two of you. I loved Tommy so much, in a firey, I wanna jump that boy’s bones kind of way. Then it was not so much his smoking hot body, but his heart and the way he treated me. But with Ryan, my God Tessa he has been in my life forever before any of that happened. I’m not going to step up on a pedestal and pretend we waited for each other it just happened that way. Tessa it’s kind of cool to think maybe you and Collin are like Ryan and I. Always there you know? Ryan told me once that he could handle taking second to Tommy because he was gone. Collin see’s Lucas as a threat, who wouldn’t? He came into enemy territory girl and now he feels like he’s fighting the masses. Make him understand he isn’t. Once he knows that, really knows that you can act like me and he won’t bat an eye. May take him longer, he’s been through a lot.” “I just don’t want to lose him Jade, I love him,” she confessed. “Then do it right Tessa, with your heart, no making him jealous, no teasing, just do it right,” she squeezed her hand. “Jade, I want that more than anything but I am scared he’s going to get sick of me, or the minute I put out he is going to lose interest.” “Tessa I don’t think that’s what it’s about for him. You know it’s not if it were that easy we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You are in love and for once you have one who wants to love you the right way too. Don’t push him away.” “Is that what you think happened with Lucas, I pushed him away?” “Well, no — he fucked up,” Jade smiled sadly at her. Tessa leaned against the window, “Thanks, Jade.” They drove into town through the winding tree lined gully, and Tessa thought about what she should do
about making things better between Collin and her. She loved him and knew that he was better at relationships than she was which was totally ironic since he hadn’t been in one, ever. She thought about how that could even be possible. Then she remembered what her grandmother had told her when she was going through her very rebellious teens. Beautiful girl, one look in the mirror will show you, you are desirable; there is no doubt about that. But it’s not what you see that makes you who you are. You need to slow it down before you get ahead of yourself. Right now sweetie pie, you need to follow his path and choose right so we can see who he made you to be. Listen to that heart of yours, it’s as big as the moon; don’t let your head steer you in the wrong direction. She took her phone out to text Collin, - I LOVE YOU… I AM SORRY… I hope you can forgive me, I want to be the woman you deserve… Tessa *** Collin and the boys had finished a twelve pack, and he was a bit buzzed when he received a text. He smiled and put his phone in his pocket. Tessa and Jade arrived at the festival at eight o’clock, and they walked around and watched as the teenage girls, tried to impress the boys and they laughed. “Don’t you want to slap them and say he’s not worth it right now, hell you don’t even know who you are yet? There’s time for that later,” Tessa said as she smiled. “Exactly why I do what I do,” Jade smiled. Jade was a counselor at a girl’s home about thirty minutes from her hometown. As a child, she went through some pretty horrible things and despite what she was dealt she made something of herself. She now helped others sort through the wreckage trying to make sense of the past and set plans in motion for a brighter future. She may be flirtatious and sometimes a little too boisterous, but she was a survivor and a great woman, mother, and wife. “You want to sing Tessa?” Jade asked. “Oh yes,” Tessa clapped She saw Adam and his band playing she whistled, and he looked down. “Tessa Ross you want to come up here and sing?” he asked. She shook her head yes. Tessa and Adam started with a song he and Tessa worked on in Syracuse, Goo Goo Dolls Black Balloon. The song was specifically about Heroine addiction, which was what Adam equated to Tessa and Lucas’s relationship. ‘Feels good when your high Tessa, but when you crash it fucking shatters you. don’t go back.’ Lucas and Jessie walked into the crowd and Adam looked at Tessa, smiled and sang, she glanced at Lucas a few times. But Adam kept her more than entertained on stage dancing and playing guitar close to her. She was drunk and having a good time. Adam started right in with Trains Drops of Jupiter a song that Tessa obsessed over while Lucas was gone to San Francisco over dinner. Adam told her to rethink the damn song, ‘It’s me sending you off to find yourself girl, your friend Tessa. Sending you out and you better not come back until you do find out who the hell you are. You’re more than his bitch,’ she danced and laughed and sang not caring who was there. Collin and Jake walked in. She sang a country song Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks, he stood watching her. Tessa sang and danced, feeling his stare warming her. She sang to him and smiled the entire time.
The song finished, and the band took a break. “Adam, I want you to meet someone.” They walked down, and Tessa introduced him to Collin. “He better not end up being a dick like that bitch over there,” he said and looked at Collin. “Not even close Adam. Adam’s a teacher and a friend, he taught me piano and voice. He doesn’t like Lucas,” Tessa laughed. “Well then… we have something in common, nice to meet you Adam,” Collin shook his hand. *** “That was…Tessa, you sing and dance?” Collin whispered in her ear. “Uh huh,” kissed him, his hands ran down her back. “Collin you coming?” Jake laughed. “That was amazing Tessa. See you in a bit?” Collin closed his eyes and mouthed DAMN to Tessa over his shoulder. “Uh huh,” she said and looked at him and closed her eyes smiling. *** The boys hit the beer tent and grabbed a drink. Tessa and Jade stayed and danced a bit. They walked over to the tent and watched Jake, Ryan, and Collin. Tessa was standing by a table with Jade drinking a wine slurpee. “Hey Jade, check out that hottie. I could just sit here and watch him all night,” Tessa said grinning. Collin certainly stood out from the rest of the locals; everyone seemed to notice it except for him. He wore loose fitting jeans and a navy tee shirt. Not overdressed but just the way his clothes fit his body perfectly. They weren’t sloppy or tight like they were made for him. He was so beautiful. Not that Lucas wasn’t, but it was like night and day. Lucas looked like a mannequin in the window of a high- end men’s clothing store. Collin was the man who inspired the sculptor who would not sleep until his image was created so he would never forget the beauty he was blessed enough to catch sight of. Collin was confident as opposed to Lucas, who came off as haughty. Tessa watched as Jake introduced Collin to some of their friends, all the boys from earlier were there. “How is this going to turn out? “Jade laughed. “It’ll be fine, my brother will make it all better,” Tessa smiled confidently. She watched as he shook hands with them and smiled. His smile, that beautiful white perfect smile it could melt an iceberg, she thought. He scanned the crowd and didn’t find what he was looking for. He did notice the women in a circle next to him all checking him out. She smiled as she saw him dismiss them and continue looking around. She saw him spot someone, and he glared. Tessa followed his line of vision and saw that he was looking at Lucas. She could tell Lucas was drunk. Lucas raised his glass to Collin and flipped him off. Collin’s jaw clenched and Lucas and gave him a look. “There’s trouble brewing Tessa,” she said shaking her head. “I see that,” Tessa replied. “Is it a turn on to you,” she said seductively. Tessa laughed nervously, “No — not really.” She grabbed her phone and texted Collin. - You’re looking fine Cowboy… XOXOXO
She watched as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and smiled as he read the message. - Where are you Tessa…. XXX - Taking in the view… XXX - How is it?… XXXX - It’s a great view… XXX He laughed and looked around. Lucas caught his eye and knew he was looking for Tessa, he pointed down and mouthed. “She’s right here” and pretended to grab her head and move it back and forth at waist height. Jade and Tessa looked at each other and then back at Collin he looked like he was going to explode. They both jumped up and walked quickly through the crowd toward Collin. Jake got there first when he saw what was going on, and just in time Collin was starting to walk towards Lucas, who was beckoning him with his hands. Tessa ran and jumped in his arms; she wrapped her legs around him and kissed him. Collin smiled at her as she slipped down his body and he pulled her to him and kissed her head. He looked up, and Lucas was walking towards them. “Tessa I need to deal with this,” Collin looked and put his finger to her lips when she tried to protest. Jake stood in front of them and then the boys stood with Jake. “You hiding behind these little fucks?” Lucas yelled. They all smiled at Lucas and shook their heads yes. “Tessa, want to come over here and show that bitch what I made you so good at?” Lucas yelled. A crowd had gathered around, and all eyes were on them, Tessa looked up at Collin, who looked like he was ready to kill Lucas. “You want to leave?” she asked. “No, Tessa I want to tear his fucking head off,” Collin growled. “I’m pretty pissed right now Collin, and would love to say a few words myself, but it’s really not worth it,” she said. “He doesn’t deserve any more of my attention, can we please leave, please Collin?” He looked down at her, held her head in his hands, and kissed her deeply; he put his forehead to hers. “If that’s what you want then yes,” he took her hand and they turned to leave. Jessie grabbed Tessa’s hair from behind; Tessa turned swinging and punched her in the nose. Jessie fell to the ground. “Put your bitch on a leash, Links,” Tessa yelled over her shoulder. “Come on everyone let’s get out of here,” Collin looked shocked. “LUCAS, cut the shit!” Jade yelled. Lucas scowled and looked down. *** Collin opened the door and strapped Tessa in and kissed her hand and jumped in the back. Jade drove and threw Ryan the keys to their SUV, “To the farm, love.” “Anywhere you want Jade,” Ryan replied. The boys all jumped in with Ryan. They got to the farm and Jade drove down back to the edge of the woods, Collin jumped out of the back and opened the door for Tessa and unbuckled her. He grabbed her hand to help her out, and she winced. “You okay beautiful?” he asked, “Did you hurt your hand?”
She laughed, “Actually, I did.” Jade laughed, “So out of character for you Miss Ross.” Jade grabbed some ice out of the cooler and wrapped it in a towel. The boys pulled in as Collin started a fire. They all sat and laughed about the events of tonight, except Collin, who watched Tessa. She laughed and enjoyed herself except when she felt her hand throbbing. “Collin I’m really tired, I am going to head up you can hang out here if you want.” “I will take you up to the house Tessa for some reason I’m exhausted too. I wanna hear you sing that song again.” “Oh yeah,” she laughed. “Yes Tessa,” he stopped and looked down at hear, “I do.” Tessa blushed, “Sorry Cowboy, the buzz wore off.” He smiled and then closed his eyes, “I really like that song.” “It's country you know, not usually my thing.” “It should be Tessa,” he took a deep breath, “Busy day tomorrow?” “Church, and then whatever.” “Then whatever,” he repeated and shook his head up and down slowly giving a mischievous little smile. Tessa laughed and they walked with his arm around her in the moonlight to the house. “You look beautiful everyday Tessa, but today you look especially beautiful,” he said as he kissed her at the bottom of the stairs. “Church in the morning kids,” her mother yelled. “Yes Ma’am” Collin replied and smiled at Tessa. “Now how about you walk up the stairs and I’ll stay here so your Momma knows I am not following you in.” “Collin I’ll be up to check it out myself,” Maggie yelled, “Goodnight.” “Goodnight,” they said in unison. At the top of the stairs, he kissed her head and then her lips, and stepped back holding her hands. “Goodnight beautiful,” he turned and walked in and shut the door. *** Tessa woke in the morning and felt stiff. She ran downstairs and jumped in the shower. Wrapping herself in a towel and ran upstairs, she knocked on the door, “if you want hot water you’d better get up now Mr. Abraham.” She went in and started to get changed she heard him knock on the door. She peeked her head out; her hair was wrapped up in a towel, he kissed her face and smiled. “Good morning Beautiful.” “Good morning Cowboy,” she winked at him. “Cowboy huh? Why is that?” “I’ll show you later,” she shut the door in his face laughing. Collin walked into the bathroom with his clothes and showered. He was a bit nervous about church this morning. He shaved his face and brushed his teeth. He found mouthwash on the counter and gargled. He pulled his tan suit out of the bag and hung it on the shower curtain and put on his crisp white shirt and buttoned it. He took out his powder blue tie and watched in the mirror and carefully tied it to ensure it was perfect. He slipped on his pants and buckled his belt. He took one last look and a deep breath. He grabbed his jacket as he went out the door. He walked into the kitchen and smiled as he saw her sipping tea, leaning against the sink staring out the window. She wore a light blue strapless dress that just hit her knees, the one he had bought for her. She had a cream sweater and sandals with a small heel. She smiled as she looked out the window
daydreaming. She was beautiful and happy and his. Collin walked up and wrapped his arms around her around the waist, and she giggled and reached her hand back and ran her hands through his perfect hair and he kissed her head. “I hope you're thinking about me,” he whispered in her ear. “It was a day wish,” she said whispering as she turned. She tugged his hair gently towards her and whispered in his ear “If I told you it may not come true, and that’s not a chance I’m willing to take.” She kissed his cheek and walked away, “Would you like some tea or coffee?” Right now he wished she had offered tea or me, he wanted her so bad it made him crazy. Patience he told himself. “Tea please,” he said instead. They drank their tea and stared at each other smiling. She crossed her eyes, and he laughed. “I could sit here all day and have a staring contest with you,” possibly all year she thought, “but Mom would have a fit if we showed up late for church.” “Alright I’ll meet you out there you have to bring Leia in right?” he asked nervously. “Yes, she is so happy being home,” she smiled. Before she could finish, he was out of sight. She got Leia in the house and walked to the Jeep, she reached to open the door and he opened it before she could, “That was quick,” he held the door and shut it behind her. They drove to the church in silence. It was sunny, and sixty- five degrees, a beautiful fall day and they both appeared to be enjoying the quiet. They got to the church, and he hopped out of the driver’s seat and opened her door, he took her hand, and they walked into church. “There are a lot of people here today,” she said to him, “Harvest dinner. If you don’t want to stay, I can come up with an excuse for us to leave.” “If you want to stay, we will stay,” he told her. They walked in, and Tessa looked for her family, they were in the normal pew on the left. She saw her Mom at the front, as they walked in hand in hand. The whole family was there. Tessa giggled. “What’s so funny?” he whispered as they walked up to the front of the church. “My whole family is here, I think it’s because we did all that hay yesterday.” He looked so handsome in his suit, she looked around, and everyone was staring at them. “Do you know the effect you have on women Collin, even at church they’re checking you out?” “No, Tessa I don’t and I can promise you it doesn’t matter,” he put his arm around her and kissed her head. They stood and sang the opening hymn. The Pastoral assistant asked for joys and concerns. People asked for prayers for sick family and friends and issues in the community. They announced birthdays and all things that they wanted to share. Tessa raised her hand and the little girl with the microphone handed it to her. “I wanted to share that Phoebe Ross gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on Friday a bit early, but he’s healthy, and Alex, Phoebe, and Remington will be home today.” She sat, and the Pastor asked if anyone else had anything Collin took a deep breath and stood. Tessa smiled and wondered what he was doing, she looked back at her Mom, who was dabbing her eyes, and she was about ready to ask her if everything was alright when she heard Collin... “Hello, everyone I’m Collin Abraham, I came today with Tessa and the rest of the Ross family,” he took a deep breath and smiled down at her. “A few weeks ago I met Tessa and I think I came on a bit too strong because out of her beautiful mouth came, something about me being arrogant, pompous, and full of myself.” Everyone laughed. “Tessa told me that I would be on one knee in front of God and her family before she would ever
consider my proposition. So here we are in a church and in front of your family Tessa.” Collin smiled at her, her eyes were wide as he took her hand and pulled her up to him. He knelt down on one knee and handed the microphone back to the little blonde girl, “On one knee.” He pulled a box out of his pocket “I’m asking you to be my partner in all things in life. The only woman I would ever consider asking to become my wife. I love you Tessa Ann Ross, will you please make me the happiest man on earth, will you marry me?” She looked down at him in shock she took a deep breath and shook her head yes. He placed the ring on her finger, and he stood up she hugged him. He picked her up and twirled her around and kissed her. Sydney walked up and grabbed the microphone from the little girl, “In case you did not know, she said yes!” The congregation clapped and laughed, and many cried. They sat down and held hands and smiled at each other. She squeezed his hands and leaned into is arm, “What do you think my parents are thinking right now?” “They're thinking, he is one lucky man.” “I can’t even look at them, I bet they’re in shock.” “I asked your father for your hand last night, he said yes. I’m pretty sure he told your mother since your whole family is here” he whispered quietly. “You asked my Dad for my hand?” “Of course, I did” he whispered. “You amaze me,” she said, “I can’t wait to be your wife.” “Me either,” he said and looked at her raising his eyebrows and winking. They sat quietly listening to the rest of the sermon on forgiveness and healing. Holding each other’s hands and smiling. “When?” she whispered. “Name the day and time Tessa,” he smiled. His phone vibrated in his pocket he pulled it out and looked down at it. - 911… Tomas. He looked at Tessa, and she gave him a questioning look. He let out a deep breath and text back. - Give me twenty minutes?... CA - I’ll make arrangements you are needed… Tomas He brought Tessa’s hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly. When the sermon ended, he left Tessa with her family and excused himself. “What the hell is going on?” he asked Tomas. “Issues that needs your attention, the flight out of Ithaca leaves in three hours,” Tomas reported. They talked for a few minutes, and Collin hung up. Collin walked back into the church and looked for Tessa. She was surrounded by her family and her church family smiling and showing them her ring. She was glowing and beautiful. She felt his presence and turned towards him and smiled. She saw his face and even though he smiled back she knew something was wrong. When he smiled at Tessa, it touched his eyes, it didn’t now. Tessa looked concerned and excused herself from the group that surrounded her and walked up to him. “Are you alright?” He pulled her into his arms, “Something came up, and I need to leave for a few days.” “Is it your mother?” Tessa pressed her head against his chest. “No, it’s work. The project is on hold until I go fix it. A lot of people are depending on me. Tessa I have to leave in about two hours,” he lifted her chin, so she looked at him.
“Ok,” she said softly. “I need to go get packed, you should stay with your family,” he said quietly. “No, I’ll go help you,” she offered. He accepted quickly, relieved that she wanted to leave with him. They walked into the farmhouse, and Collin looked at Tessa, “I didn’t anticipate this happening Tessa. I had a much more romantic day planned.” She smiled and kissed him, “I understand…” Collin kissed her neck and she stopped talking. Her breathing became quick, and his hands entwined in her hair. Collin grabbed her with both hands just under her butt and lifted her pulling her into him. Tessa wrapped her legs around him, and he groaned. She kissed him as he walked with her wrapped around him up the stairs into her bedroom. He laid her gently on the bed and knelt between her legs. Tessa opened her eyes and looked into his. His eyes were dark and hooded his mouth slightly opened and breaths hard and deep. He took her right foot and removed her shoe and threw it over his shoulder. He bit the inside of her foot lightly. She moaned and threw her head back into the pillow. “Look at me Tessa,” he growled, “I love you, look at me.” Tessa opened her eyes and watched him as he started at her pinky toes and nipped the tip and then sucked hard. The sensation was felt between her legs and she whimpered as he moved to the next toe and the next. When he finished on her right foot, he started on her left. She tried to sit up and he gently pushed her back down his hand holding her still just below her belly button. “Collin,” she whispered. He moved back to her right foot and kissed and nipped from her instep to her knee. He moved to her left and teased her again from instep to knee, his hand still pressing and gently rubbing just beneath her belly button. Her hips swayed slightly as she felt the throbbing between her legs. She tried to pull her knees together to relieve the pulsing pressure building, and he grabbed her inner thighs and pulled them apart swiftly. He bit lightly where his hand had been, and she gasped, “Collin.” He ran his nose slowly against her pale blue silky underpants and breathed deeply, and she heard him growl softly. “You smell damn delightful Tessa,” he licked and then sucked her other thigh lightly. She cried out softly, and he opened his mouth and looked up into her eyes. And blew his hot breath against her panties and lightly bit down on her pulsing sweet spot and she screamed out loudly as she came. He lay against her and kissed her capturing her screams in his mouth and rubbing gently against her making certain her orgasm lasted longer. She finally caught her breath and whispered, “Oh my God.” He pulled her up and kissed her gently she looked at him in amazement. And he smiled shyly. “Your clothes are still on?” She said and turned red. “Yes, so are yours,” he smiled. “I didn’t even notice, wow Collin I don’t even know what to say. I think we should get them off of you so I can repay the kindness. You have given me several, and I want to give to you. I owe you,” she said shyly. “You have, you just don’t know it,” he smirked. “What?” she laughed. “How do I say this respectfully? Your memorized scent, kiss, smile, and the many, many pictures of you in my head have made me come more times than I care to admit, to the woman who has just accepted my proposal,” he chuckled.
Tessa looked confused. “You may not know it, but we have been in the shower together more than just once,” he winked. “I don’t understand,” Tessa said confused. He grabbed her face, “The first day I saw you I wrapped my hands around my cock and jerked off to the picture of you in my head.” Tessa’s jaw dropped. “How does that make you feel?” he asked stroking her face. “Oddly… turned on,” she smiled and bit her lip. “Good, don’t ever try to keep score Tessa,” he warned. She laughed, “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.” She pulled his suit coat off and loosened his tie and slipped it over his head and unbuttoned his shirt. “You are beyond hot, Mr. Abraham,” she kissed him. “You are beyond beautiful and smell like fucking lilacs” he kissed her hard on the mouth. Tessa laughed when he pulled away, “Lilacs?” “Weird huh?” he said running his hands through his hair, “Sweet and spicy not audacious but… fucking perfect, I cannot wait to taste you.” “Likewise Collin. When can we get married?” Tessa smiled. “Whenever you want,” he said and kissed her again. “I want to wait until then,” she whispered and pushed her head against his chest. “What?” he laughed. “I know it sounds… I just want to wait,” she looked up at him. Collin smiled, “Okay, so next weekend then?” Tessa laughed, “Sorry.” He lifted her chin and looked at her, “Don’t be. But I’m serious. What kind of wedding do you want?” “Just us would be perfect,” she covered her eyes. “What’s wrong?” he smiled. “I keep thinking it’s all too soon, and that I need to slow down and date you, not plan a wedding after just a few weeks,” she felt him tense up. “Collin listen to me, that’s what I keep thinking. What I feel with my heart and my soul is that you were always the one, I love you. I feel safe with you. I trust you and that is insane knowing what I have been through with Lucas, but that’s my head. My heart is all yours and I know without a doubt that I love you.” He let out the breath he had been holding, “I’m yours and only yours Tessa. Forever. It has to be the same for you.” She looked at him and her brows knit together. He ran his thumb upward trying to release her scowl. He kissed her lightly. “I’m not as confident as you might think when it comes to you. I do, however, read people well. If I didn’t feel that you felt the same, I wouldn’t have opened myself up for hurt. You could easily break me Tessa. More easily than you could even imagine. You were an angel the first time you kissed me back all those years ago. No one, not even my mother had kissed me. I felt comforted by that kiss and the way you gave me your food… well for years I dreamt of you. I thought you may not have been real, maybe just a place in my imagination or vision of an angel with the blue ribbon in her hair, giving me the comfort I desperately needed. It was nothing sexual it was kindness and caring. I had never experienced it before, until you,” he continued to caress her face as he spoke softly reminiscing. “Regardless of the women I’ve had sex with nothing ever felt like I did then. I never kissed them like I do you or talked about anything. Besides my siblings, there have only been two people I have felt the need to comfort. You were one, the first person I actually held in my arms when Ann passed. I did hug her I think, she was kind. And once at a funeral for a fellow soldier. I felt drawn to comfort a sobbing girl. I’m sure it was because of Coleen, my
sister. But this young woman was just shattered: sitting in a dress on the ground sifting dirt through her fingers. I was drawn to comfort her” Tessa pulled away from his hand, and he blinked, “Sorry Tessa, I hope that didn’t upset you.” “Collin, where was this funeral?” “There were so many. But I am sure it was here in New York… Syracuse I think,” he said. “It doesn’t matter…” Tessa cut him off and tears started falling from her eyes, “Toby Green?” He looked at her silently for a moment, “Do you know him?” “It was me, I was the one on the ground,” she threw her arms around him and cried harder, “You gave me a tissue.” “My God, Tessa,” he said and held her tightly. He stroked her hair as she cried and rocked her back and forth. “Everything alright in here?” Maggie asked as she and John walked into Tessa’s room. “Yes,” Tessa sobbed and he held her tighter. Collin felt tears building in his eyes and buried his head in her hair. “What is going on?” John asked forcefully. Tessa sat back and Collin wiped her tears and she did the same to him, and she kissed his face over and over again. “Daddy, I’m going to marry this man and we are going to be together for the rest of our lives,” Tessa laughed, and Collin pulled her against him again. “Okay, that’s good right?” John asked. Collin and Tessa laughed, “I’m going to use the bathroom, please excuse me.” Collin walked down the stairs, and Maggie grabbed Tessa and hugged her, “Are you alright?” “Never better Mom. I met him at VBS when we were kids, he comforted me when Ann died, and he was the soldier at Toby’s funeral that handed me a tissue,” she sobbed. Collin walked in and squatted down by the bed and wiped her eyes with a tissue and hugged her tightly, “I love you Tessa.” “You were at Toby’s funeral Collin?” Maggie asked. “Yeah, I was, I had no idea,” his voice sounded haunted. He pulled Tessa up, “Your daughter is my angel. I promise to never let anyone hurt her ever. I want to take care of her and love her forever. And with all due respect we need to get married quickly because she is going to make me wait until we do.” Tessa laughed and cried more, “It needs to be at the Cape with Pastor Lou.” “Yes it does,” Collin smiled and hugged her. “We need to get you ready to go,” Tessa laughed. “I’ll know more when I get there, but I want you to be my wife the day I get back,” he said looking in her eyes. “I want that, too,” Tessa laughed. “I know,” he smiled. They turned around, and John was holding Maggie as she cried. “Mom?” Tessa said with deep concern. “Happy tears, Tessa,” she smiled. “Okay Mom, don’t be sad,” Tessa hugged her. She turned to Collin, “I’m going to miss you.” “You’ll be busy planning a wedding,” he smiled. “I want to go to the Cape while you’re gone,” Tessa laughed. “I really would like you to stay here and plan with your Mom Tessa,” he said softly. “Okay,” she laughed and hugged him, “We’re getting married.”
“Yes we are,” he smiled and pulled her closer. Tomas picked Collin up and after a tearful goodbye Tessa decided to go for a run with Leia. *** She ran behind the farm and down the trail and sat by the waterfalls. She had never felt such contentment before in her life. She knew without a doubt Collin Abraham was made for her and she for him. Tessa stood and noticed the tree she had carved in when she and Lucas first had sex. She picked up a sharp rock and started to scrap it away. She felt tears building in her eyes as she dug harder into it. When it was finally gone, she was sobbing, and her hand was bleeding. She had not realized she had dug so hard it caused her to hurt herself. The pain in her heart from the time with him was far harsher than that of her hand. She walked to the water and put her hand in it to clean it off and watched as the blue water turned red. She sat and watched. She knew this was going to hurt him and regardless of what had transpired between them she did love Lucas Links once, for a very very long time. That doesn’t go away, not for her. But she had two reasons now to never get sucked back in, her heart and Collins. She knew he would treasure her, she already knew this. She felt it deep inside and throughout her entire being. Tessa walked into the house and grabbed a paper towel and applied pressure to her wound. “What did you do?” Maggie asked from behind her. “I was scratching something I had carved in a tree away. Pretty therapeutic until I realized I was bleeding,” she laughed as she turned around and Lucas was standing there with Maggie. He looked at her and closed his eyes. “You have company. I’ll be outside if you need anything,” Maggie walked outside. “Hi. I didn’t know you were…” Tessa began. “Our initials?” Lucas asked with pain in his eyes. “Would you like a drink?” Tessa asked as she bandaged her hand. “Where’s your head Tessa?” he asked sadly. “I don’t want to do this again,” she said softly. “Then don’t Tessa. Don’t walk away from us.” Tessa said nothing and grabbed two glasses of water and sat down. “You’re getting married?” “Yes,” she answered still looking down. Tessa still couldn’t bear to look at him and see him hurt. “Look at me baby, damn it,” he went to touch her and she pulled back. “Tell me what to do,” he said insistently. “Just tell me. I will do any goddamn thing you need me too Tessa.” “You have Jessie, I have Collin. I really don’t know what else there is to say,” she whispered. “She isn’t you. I can end it with her tomorrow, now, and we can get through this, please baby,” Lucas begged. “I’m supposed to be with Collin, I love him,” she looked up at him. “You have loved others and always come back to me, to us,” he pleaded. “No, that’s not true. Toby died, and my love for him was — different,” she explained. “And Ben? You loved him too. Can’t you see you’re just trying to get over us? I’m telling you you don’t have to. I would never…” he began. “This is different he and I are supposed to be together. We love each other. You and I… we hurt each other. You had to be with other people he would never…” she began. “Really? And what do you know about him Tessa? You’ve known him for all of five minutes,” his hands balled into fists at his side. “Well, actually we met at the Cape when I was much younger. Lucas he’s Ann’s Joe, the man who held
me when she died. He also…” she smiled. “Spare me the details Tessa. That’s all coincidence…” he rolled his eyes. Tessa grabbed the photo album Pastor Lou had made and handed it to him. “Sit, please?” “I have photo albums too Tessa, four years worth of them, this means nothing!” Lucas snapped. She looked down and played nervously with her hands. “What would Toby think Tessa, huh?” he grabbed her hand. “Well,” she smiled, “Collin met Toby.” “You believe this guy’s shit Tessa? You don’t even know him!” “He was at Toby’s funeral,” she whispered. “Great, so was I,” he yelled. Tessa’s phone rang, and she smiled. “Hi,” she answered softly and walked into the other room. “I’m in New York City now. I’ll be taking off shortly. I will return early Friday morning. Friday sound alright?” Collin asked with a smile in his voice. “Friday sounds perfect,” she whispered. “Good Pastor Lou is available. I have that set up the rest is all up to you. Unless you’ll allow me to help.” “It’s our wedding Collin, whatever you want I am sure would be perfect,” she giggled softly. “Lilac’s lots of them,” he said in a deep tone. Tessa laughed, “And so you will have them, lots of them.” “Forever?” he asked. “Forever,” she said softly. “My flights being called, I love you.” “And I love you. Have a safe flight please call me when you land. By the way, where are you going?” she laughed. He laughed, “I’m not used to sharing this sort of information, I’ll email you. Got to go — I love you Tessa Ross,” Collin said softly. “I love you Collin Abraham,” Tessa said and hung up. Tessa walked into the kitchen smiling. Lucas sat stewing, “You love him?” “I do,” she sat. “Thanks for that, definitely needed to hear that,” his jaw stiffened. “Lucas I forgot you were here, I didn’t mean to…” she began. “You forgot I was here?” he snapped. “I’m sorry. No, I’m not. Lucas I’m going to marry him and have a family with him. He’s my forever,” she shook her head; “I don’t know how to explain this to you.” “Where is he Tessa? Did he tell you where he was going? You didn’t even know! You’re not that stupid!” he yelled. “No, I’m not!” she snapped back. “Collin Abraham, huh?” he stood up and walked to the door. “Jessie! Sadi! Jenny! Tipper and many others. Again Lucas… you and I were clearly not working for a reason. It certainly wasn’t because I didn’t try,” she laughed. “It’s funny huh Tessa, real funny. I can’t do this without you. You’ve been my strength, my reason for being! And you laugh!” Lucas yelled. “You’re fine, you’ll be fine. Don’t you see you ass, I want you to be happy! Why can’t you want that for me?”
“I do. Damn it Tessa,” he grabbed her face, “I need to fix this for you, for us. Baby I love you,” he kissed her and pulled her into his arms. “No,” she whispered, “Not the kind of love I need.” “I can be everything you need. PLEASE, let me fix this,” Lucas began to cry. Tessa pulled away and wiped his tears and kissed his cheek, “You need to let go of things that are broken and unfixable. I’ll always need you to be okay Lucas. I wish more than anything we could be friends. God you have been so important to me forever. I need you to be okay.” She began to cry, and he held her tightly, “I have a week to prove to you I can be. And I will Tessa I will.” He kissed her head and hugged her again and walked out the door. Maggie walked in when he pulled out, “You alright?” “No Mom, no I’m not,” she cried. Maggie held her, “Are you second guessing things?” “No, I love Collin I’m going to Marry him. I just need Lucas to be okay,” she cried. *** Tessa woke to her phone. “Hello,” she whispered. “Well, hello beautiful,” Collin's voice made her smile. “Collin,” she whispered. He laughed, “So I’m here. What plans have you made today?” “Oh well, Lucas stopped here. He’s having a difficult time with me getting married,” she laughed. “Is he,” Collin was short. “Collin, he knows I love you. It’s just going to take some time for him to get through this,” Tessa explained. “Not your responsibility, Tessa. Unless you want it to be and if you do…” he stopped. “Collin I. Love. You,” she said sadly. “So you say….” He snapped. “Collin, please don’t do this,” her voice broke. “I didn’t,” he said sharply. “Neither did I!” she snapped. “Why was he there?” “He just showed up, he was actually here when you called. I walked in the other room and talked with you and forgot he was sitting in the kitchen,” she giggled, “He heard our conversation, which hurt him. But I told him…” “Why didn’t you tell me he was there Tessa, when I called, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a clipped tone. “I was happy to hear your voice, happy to talk to you. Collin you can trust me,” she said sadly. “We’ll see, I have to go,” he hung up. Tessa tried to call him back, and he didn’t answer. The next day she tried again three times before he finally answered. “Hello,” he said. “Should I still be planning a wedding or is this it, Collin?” Tessa snapped. “Excuse me?” he asked shocked. “Forget it, have a great life Collin,” Tessa hung up. Her phone rang. “Tessa, this is not a great time to have this chat. You told me I could trust you. I do, it’s him I don’t
trust. The church is set. I’ve ordered flowers. I’m going to arrange a caterer. Our reception will be at the church. Invite who you wish. Money has been transferred into your checking account. I also ordered your dress, shoes, and undergarments!” he snapped. “Collin…” Tessa began. “Do you still want this?” Collin asked in a harsh tone. “Forever,” Tessa cried. “Excuse me, please,” Collin said and Tessa heard a door shut. “Don’t cry. Tessa don’t cry. I am beyond pissed at the audacity of that… You need to tell me if he so much as breathes in your direction!” “I… I…” Tessa was sobbing. “I love you,” he whispered softly. “You have to…” Tessa began. “I trust you Tessa,” he sighed. She sat breathing trying to calm herself down and he waited. “Okay, I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Tessa said and cleared her throat. “Tessa, it’s just jealousy. I want to be there with you. I asked you to marry me and left. That’s inexcusable. So let’s throw in some guilt as well. This emotional shit is for the birds,” he said exasperatedly. “Tell me about it.” “I Love you,” he said sternly. “I love you,” Tessa spoke softly. “I have to get this wrapped up so I can get back to you. I’ll call you soon alright?” he asked. “Please,” she said. “Goodbye Tessa,” he sighed. “See you soon.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN It had been a busy week for Tessa and Collin. Lucas had left her alone, after several failed attempts to get her to message him back. “Hello beautiful,” Collin said with a smile. “Collin it’s Thursday,” Tessa giggled as she held the phone tightly to her ear. “It is, and tomorrow… it seems like I should remember something I have to do, hmm. I can’t seem to remember. Tessa could you tell me, do you remember what I will be doing tomorrow?” he teased. “Me,” she laughed. “You? What will I be doing with you?” he asked softly. “I have a few things in mind,” she whispered. “I want to hear all about them,” he said softly. “Well, I would prefer to show you, and my family will be here any minute so you’ll just have to wait,” she giggled. “I can’t wait for you to … show me. I have a few things I want to show you as well,” he chuckled. “I Love you. Fly safe, see you tomorrow,” Tessa said and hung up. “If not sooner,” he laughed when he realized she hung up. *** Tessa walked outside and to the water and kicked her shoes off. She watched Leia splash in the cold ocean water and smiled. “Tessa Ross,” she heard from behind her. She turned and saw Lucas walking towards her. Leia growled. “Lucas what are you doing here?” “We need to talk,” he jogged towards her, “Well hello, Dog.” “Lucas no we don’t,” she said sadly. Lucas looked at her and took a deep breath and turned towards the water as Leia splashed around. “It’s beautiful here,” he stood next to her and crossed his arms across his chest. “It is. Lucas… you shouldn’t have come here,” Tessa said looking at him deeply concerned. “I needed to tell you a few things, and I heard he was not around until tomorrow. If what I tell you don’t change your mind I’ll let you be Tessa,” he smiled softly at her. Leia shook off and soaked them both. Tessa laughed and so did Lucas. “Do you have any dry clothes?” Tessa laughed as they walked into Ann’s house. “No, wow, this is amazing. Not what I expected. No plastic covering furniture huh?” he smiled. “Not anymore,” Tessa laughed as she ran up the stairs to grab him a sweatshirt. He followed. “All I have is this one,” she rolled her eyes. He took off his shirt and smiled at her, “It looks familiar.” She looked away from him quickly, “I guess I forgot to give that one back.” “Or you just wanted to hold onto it for old time sake. I get it,” he laughed. She turned around, and he still stood shirtless. “You like what you see Tessa?” “You’ve always been a lot of fun to look at Lucas. Put that shirt on boy,” she handed him a pair of sweats and walked out the door.
“Did you forget to give these back too?” he laughed as she walked down the stairs. She was making tea when he walked in the kitchen. “Would you like some?” she asked over her shoulder. “I would love some,” his smirked and looked her up and down. “Are you high?” she asked as she handed him the tea. “Maybe, why did you want some of that… too?” he laughed and drank his tea. “No, I’m good thanks,” she laughed, “You shouldn’t drive like that, Lucas.” “Okay Mom, I won’t do it again,” he nodded, “Do you know everything reminds me of you Tessa, everything.” “Lucas we…” she began. “No, let me talk, please. I hate that I did this to us, more than you’ll ever even begin to imagine. We were so good together baby, so perfect. I know I messed it all up. So much happened,” his voice broke and tears began to fall. Tessa held his hand, and tears fell from her eyes as well, “We’re both going to be fine.” “Tessa what we lived through that first year together, it still hurts so bad…” he began. “I know Lucas… it was hell. I hated seeing you hurt. I still do,” Tessa hugged him, and Leia barked alerting her to company. “My family is coming,” she wiped his eyes and then hers. “Please give me a few minutes, leave them a note… I really need to talk to you and I don’t want them pissed that I’m here,” he pleaded. “Okay Lucas,” they walked out the back door and ran down the beach. They walked to the lighthouse and stood on the rocks. “I looked into your… Collin Abraham. I feel like you’re not thinking clearly with him Tessa. He has a very dark past baby, and you can’t marry him,” Lucas looked at her. “I know everything about Collin…” Tessa began. “You can’t possibly Tessa. You’re not stupid,” he grabbed her hand, and she pulled it back. “God Damn it Tessa Ross,” Lucas snapped, “I won’t let him fuck you up!” Tessa stepped back away from him and saw someone running towards them. It was Collin. “I know everything I need to,” she smiled, and he followed her eyes to see what she was smiling at. “Bullshit,” Lucas grabbed for her hand, “Tessa you’re going with me!” “No, I’m not!” she stepped back. Tessa began to slip, and Lucas grabbed for her and watched in horror as she fell to the rocks below. “TESSA!” he screamed as he made his way to her. Lucas slipped and hit his head and scrambled to grab Tessa, “Wake up baby!” “Get your fucking hands off of her,” Collin said grabbing him and Tomas pulled Lucas away. “No, I don’t think so you piece of shit,” Lucas screamed as blood poured from the wound on the back of his head. Tomas had Lucas’s arms behind his back cuffed before dragging him to the house “Tessa wake up, come on Tessa open those beautiful blue eyes for me,” Collin whispered in her ear as he checked for her pulse. He picked her up and ran down the beach towards the house. “Tomas! Call an ambulance!” he screamed. Tessa’s families were all watching from the deck. When they saw Collin carrying Tessa, Maggie started running towards them. He lay her on the couch, “Come on Miss Ross we have a big day tomorrow wake up beautiful.” John watched as Tomas put Lucas in a car, “What happened?” Collin didn’t respond, “Tessa I love you wake up, please!”
*** Collin sat in the emergency room holding and caressing her hand. “Any word?” Maggie asked as she handed him a cup of tea. “Not yet,” he kissed her hand gently. “Why don’t you take a walk? You’ve been sitting here for three hours Collin. I can stay,” Maggie said rubbing his back. “No, thank you,” Collin kissed Tessa’s hand. The doctor came in and checked her chart, “She should wake up soon, Dr. Abraham.” “I know.” Maggie walked out and gave the family the update. The police brought Lucas from the exam room in handcuffs and walked him towards the door. “Is she okay?” he yelled. Ryan looked at John who said nothing. He stood up and followed Lucas out the door. “She’s going to be, you need to let this go Lucas. Please man. That girl loved you forever and it didn’t work. Now look at you. Lucas get it together, for yourself, your God children for me man. I’ll call your father,” Ryan hugged Lucas quickly and walked away. *** “Her eyes are fluttering,” she heard Collins voice, “Maggie she’s waking up. Come on Tessa Ross open those beautiful eyes, please!” Tessa wanted to open her eyes, she wanted to see him, to explain about Lucas. She couldn’t lose him… he was probably hurt, and she didn’t want to ever hurt him. She fell back into the rocks. “Stop giving her those pain meds. Just let it go half an hour. She almost woke up before and then you put that shit in her IV! Tessa has a low tolerance you should have seen her the first day I met her… well met her again. Just trust me please,” Tessa wanted to laugh when she heard him talking. “Hey, are you smiling at me beautiful? Open your eyes please Tessa. I haven’t been able to see them in four days. I’m back now Tessa and you’re making me wait even longer,” she felt him kiss her lightly, and he laughed. “You seem to like to make me wait,” he whispered in her ear. “No, damn it ten more minutes, does she look like she is in fucking pain!” he snapped. Tessa heard another voice. “I don’t give a fuck what the orders say, I’m a doctor, and I say if she is in pain she’ll tell you,” Tessa squeezed his hand. “Hey, now you’re playing with me Tessa — open your eyes before this… nurse… shoots you full of drugs again. Watch her eyes she is fighting to wake up, are you watching!” Tessa heard an irritated voice, “You are not her husband yet Dr. Abraham, we could ask you to leave this is a courtesy.” “You can ask, but it won’t happen,” he sneered. Tessa tried to clear her throat, and she squeezed his hand harder. “Please just once Tessa before I end up in jail? I love you please Tessa,” he pleaded. Tessa blinked and whispered, “I… love… You” “You love me? Prove it, open your eyes Tessa now damn it,” he insisted. Tessa opened her eyes and rolled them, “Water.” “Get her some water!” he snapped. Tessa closed her eyes and felt the straw between her lips she drank and coughed a little. Collin sat her up and climbed behind her in the bed. “Dr. Abraham!” the nurse scolded. “WHAT!” he snapped.
Tessa let out a breath, “Please excuse him. Sometimes he can be difficult.” “Sometimes?” the nurse laughed, “Welcome back Miss Ross. And by the way that one is known for being an ass to nurses.” “Really do tell,” Tessa giggled as she felt his lips on the back of her neck. “Well, he thinks he knows everything, and even if he does he should not be so damn self- righteous,” she laughed and put the blood pressure cuff on Tessa. “Does he hit on them?” “Are you kidding? He hates nurses,” she laughed. Tessa smiled, “That’s going to cause problems than for us Dr. Abraham.” Collin continued kissing her neck, “Tessa is a nurse.” They all laughed, “Well good luck with that honey, the doctor will be in shortly.” Tessa turned and looked at him, “You were not nice to her.” “SHE did not listen,” he kissed her and ran his nose down her cheek. “I love you,” Tessa ran her hand through the side of his hair; “You came home early.” “I wanted to surprise you. I couldn’t spend another night without you. God I don’t know what I would have done if he…” he shook slightly. “He didn’t hurt me Collin.” “Tessa we’re not going to discuss him right now. You’re alive, and I thank God for that,” Collin kissed her again. Tessa relaxed into his embrace and held his arms tightly around her. “You’ve got to get me out of here. I have a hot date tomorrow,” Tessa smiled and closed her eyes. Her entire family walked in the door. Collin read the report from his perch behind her. They released Tessa against doctor’s medical advice and went back to the beach house. *** “Hey, I’m staying at Ann’s house Mr. Abraham,” Tessa laughed as he carried her towards his house. “No, you’re not,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s the night before my wedding Collin,” she whispered shyly, “I would prefer to stay out of my marital bed on the night before my fairytale starts.” He smiled at her, “You’re serious aren’t you.” “Sadly I am,” she buried her head in his chest, “I should have waited for you back then.” “We’ve waited. We’ve done this as right as possible in today’s world,” he laughed. “I don’t want to take any chances of screwing this up. I want you now and forever.” “Well, apparently not now but tomorrow and forever sounds perfect to me,” he kissed her softly. He laid her in bed and covered her up. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he kissed her, and she closed her eyes. “Hey Tessa? You don’t mind if I think about you in the shower when I get home do you,” he grinned wildly, “That’s not breaking any rules is it?” Tessa threw a pillow at him, and he dodged it they both laughed. “Just remember whatever you do after we say I do, I get to watch,” she looked up at him raising her eyebrow. His mouth opened slightly, and a breath escaped, “Damn it Tessa.” “You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, goodnight Collin,” Tessa smiled and her face burned red. He winked, “I love you.” Tessa covered her face with a blanket and giggled. ***
Maggie woke Tessa every four hours checking her vitals. “Mom I’m going to look like the walking dead for my wedding tomorrow if you keep this up. This is a little much.” Tessa complained. “Well, your wedding is today but stay in bed for a couple more hours. You’re right you’ll look like… well just rest a couple more hours dear. Yesterday must have been awful,” Maggie said sadly. “Mom did Lucas make it home? I mean I didn’t say goodbye and I hope he’s alright. He must have been upset when he left,” Tessa looked at her mom Maggie wouldn’t look at her, “Mom?” “Tessa why do you feel like you have to protect him? After what he did to you yesterday,” Maggie’s voice cracked, “He is not your responsibility.” “He didn’t do anything to me Mom,” Tessa snapped. “Tessa he pushed you off of those rocks, he could have killed you!” “He did not! He tried to grab my hand! Mom where is he?” Tessa demanded. “Tessa…” Maggie began. “WHERE IS HE?!” Tessa yelled. “He is in jail Tessa,” Maggie whispered. “Damn it! Seriously?” Tessa got up and threw on a sweatshirt, pants, and a ball cap. “Tell Collin I’ll be back!” Tessa said as she headed out the door. Collin was outside playing fetch with Leia. “Good morning, where do you think you're going?” he laughed. “Apparently to spring Lucas out of jail,” she snapped and jumped in the jeep. “What?” Collin asked in shock as she peeled out of the driveway. Collin ran and grabbed his keys and phone, “Maggie?” “He didn’t push her Collin, he tried to grab her hand, and she pulled away. Lucas didn’t push her,” Maggie’s voice cracked. “You should let her do whatever it is she needs to she said to tell you she would be right back.” “Thank you Maggie but I’ll be there as well,” Collin tried to call Tessa and hung up he didn’t want to upset her while she was driving. Tessa stormed into the police station, and Lucas was sitting in a room with Landon. Tessa looked at Landon and looked at Lucas shocked. Landon came out of the holding room. “Tessa may I please speak to you?” “Sure.” “Excuse me who is this?” Collin asked from behind Tessa. “This is Landon Links, Lucas’s father, Landon this is Collin Abraham,” she looked at him and closed her eyes tightly. “Tessa’s husband in a few short hours.” “So I hear,” Landon looked disgusted. “May I speak to you alone, please?” Landon asked, “And Tessa you’re going to need to talk to him because I can’t I’m not privy to the goings on yesterday and he thinks….” “She owes you and your son nothing,” Collin said pulling Tessa into his side. “You may want to ask her if she feels the same. Tessa he doesn’t know you very well does he?” “Collin I’m going to talk to both of them. I want you to understand that. The room is glass you can stand out here and watch. Landon don’t be rude to him, or I’ll walk out of here and not try to make things better for your son.” She looked up at him, and he was angry. “Can I speak to you first for a minute,” she took Collins hand and walked away from Landon. “You’re actually going to walk in there and talk to that asshole, he could have killed you yesterday?” he asked trying to hold back his rage. “If you’re angry I understand we should’ve talked about this last night, he didn’t hurt me!” Tessa
snapped quietly and looked down. “I don’t want to hurt anyone here, I hope you understand.” She walked in, and Collin followed her and stood outside the window watching as she sat across from Lucas. “Are you okay?” Lucas asked as soon as she came in. “Yes, are you?” “I’m sorry Tessa I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “I know Lucas.” “Are you really going to marry this guy?” he asked pointing to Collin. “Yes I am.” “He fucking killed someone, Tessa. I won’t leave you alone with someone like that,” Lucas yelled. “Lucas I love him,” she said, “and if you could talk to him you, wouldn’t sit here and judge his actions.” Lucas sat back, “Bring him in.” Tessa walked out and took Collin’s hand, “I know you don’t owe Lucas anything, but he wants to speak to you I don’t care either way. He somehow found out about your juvenile record.” He smiled and looked over Tessa at Luke, “Good, sure I’ll go in.” “Okay, but please understand he never physically hurt me or forced me to do anything. He has had a pretty bad life, not the same as you Collin. But his mother was a mess, and his father was not involved until I came around or when Lucas…it doesn’t matter, he raised himself with free rein.” “Let’s go Tessa I really don’t care to spend our wedding day with your first love,” he walked in. “Tessa says you have some questions Links. I have no idea why you think you deserve any answers after the shit you pulled yesterday or last weekend, but she seems to think you do so have at it,” Collin sat down. “Tessa, do you even know this clown?” Lucas sneered. “Yes I do.” “Do you love him?” “Yes I love him Lucas, I’ve told you that,” Tessa said softly. “This is a fucking joke. You fucking killed someone?” he looked at Collin. “Yes I did,” Collin smiled. “Keep that in mind because I don’t regret it and I would do it again if I had too.” “Tessa, do your parents know about him?” Landon stood beside Lucas glaring at Collin. She looked at Collin, “Yes actually they know everything, and when he asked my father if he could marry me, my dad gave his blessing.” “Is there anything else?” Collin leaned forward staring Lucas in the face. “Yeah plenty. Baby if I fucked you up bad enough for you to do this I’m sorry, but you can’t seriously stay with someone like that, and you Collin, won’t keep me away from her. I won’t let her do this,” Lucas glared at him. “Collin won’t hurt me Lucas. I trust him to keep me safe.” “Do you have nothing to say for yourself? Fucking punk ass bitch!” Lucas snapped at Collin, who was smirking at him. “Lucas, look at me. I’m not stupid, and he has told me more about himself in the past few weeks than I ever asked him to tell me. He’s a good man.” “Seems like it Tessa,” Landon said snidely. “Are we done here?” Collin asked Tessa. “No asshole I’m not,” Lucas stood up abruptly. “Then could we hurry it up? I was under the impression you had questions and well frankly we have a life to start so let’s end this, we don’t need to revisit it again.” Collin said dismissively.
“Why did you kill that man?” Landon asked. “He was hurting my sister,” Collin looked at him. “When did this happen?” Landon asked. “When I was twelve,” Collin said with his eyebrow raised. “Collin you don’t have to,” Tessa rubbed his back. “No, I want this over and done with. He needs no excuse to be in your life,” Collin stood and was leaning against the glass wall. “What do you do?” Landon asked. “I am a doctor,” he said. Lucas laughed, “Oh really?” “Yes really.” “Tessa is he for real?” Lucas asked. “Yes,” she said. “Did you work with him? Did little miss perfect fuck around on me?” he asked. “We met years ago Lucas. I told you that at the farm, I showed you the book,” Tessa said softly. Lucas looked at her, “This is why you’re marrying him? A fucking book? Collin you should see the books I have of Tessa, way hotter than what you have. Five years with her and your precious little book trumps that? You are out of your mind.” “Have you had enough yet?” Collin asked her. “She never has had enough of me, she comes back every time I put forth effort. I’ve fucked up several times, but I can promise you I never will again, I won’t see you wasted on him Tessa. We love each other that just does not stop,” Lucas was visibly shaking. Collin looked at her, and she could tell he had enough. “Lucas I’m sorry if this hurts you, I love him. You have to heal and be better. You have chosen to not be with me several times. I care very deeply for you, I always will, but I love Collin and am going to spend forever with him. I want you to find that person who was meant to be with you. I’m not it Lucas we tried. Maybe it’s Jessie. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t. I would love nothing more than to come home someday and see you happy,” Tessa spoke softly with tears in her eyes. “Please be okay Lucas.” “She’s had enough,” he stood behind her rubbing her shoulders, “I’ve had enough. We have two options here Links. We can walk out there and fill out paperwork and my lawyers will hang your ass,” Tessa’s eyes widened and looked down. “Or you can stay the hell away from her and accept that she and I love each other and are getting married. And I can promise you if you so much as harm a hair on her head, I will not regret what I do to you. Are you ready?” “It wasn’t his fault Collin,” Tessa stood. He pulled the chair out for her and took her hand. “I need an answer.” “I wasn’t trying to hurt her she just told you that asshole and I would never hurt her. But if she ever says the words, I’ll take her back. I love her, and whatever it is you’ve done to mess with her head will wear off someday. So you do whatever it is you need to do, I really don’t give a fuck,” Lucas said. “Tessa I love you baby, when you need me call I’m not going anywhere. I love you Tessa, so fucking much. We can call it even alright; we can start over with a clean slate.” “Lucas, please stop.” Tessa walked out and Collin followed. Landon followed them out. “You’re okay Tessa?” “Yes Landon are you?” “No,” he said. “He’s this way because of me, he loves you and because of what I have shown him he’s hurt you and now he’s lost you.” “Landon I know I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. He’ll be alright he’s a very smart man. He’s going to be fine. Please tell the girls I love them. And please keep him busy and safe, be there for him. I
need to live my life now,” she hugged him looked at Lucas who sat frozen; she knew how he felt numb. “Collin I’m sorry,” she hugged him He held her, kissed her head, he lifted her chin, and “We’re done here. I don’t want to ever revisit this do you understand that? Now you can make a decision about what we do about this.” “There’s only one thing to do Collin, the right thing,” Tessa looked at him with concern. “You’re one hundred percent sure he’ll not hurt you?” he asked staring into her eyes. “He would never physically hurt me Collin,” Tessa signed papers dropping charges that should never have been filed in the first place, “Let him go now, please.” “Yes ma’am,” the officer said looking at Collin and waited for his nod of approval. Tessa raised her eyebrows and gave him a dirty look, “Tessa, they know me. That’s nothing against you.” Once outside, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and smacked her ass, “That’s for leaving today and not telling me what the hell was going on.” He smacked her again. “What was that for?” she gasped. “I wanted to hear that little moan you let out the first time, it made me a little hard Tessa,” he smiled as he sat her on the ground. She was smiling when she buried her head in his chest, “Don’t do it again.” He lifted her chin and looked at her she closed her eyes, “Really?” Tessa smirked and pulled away from him and walked towards the Jeep, “See you later, Abraham.” “You certainly will,” he watched her get in the Jeep and pull out.
CHAPTER TWELVE Collin stood in the front of the church with his hands in his pockets when the music began. He looked up and saw Tessa walking with her arm linked together with her father. She looked up and smiled at him. His bride wasn’t nervous like one would think, she was beaming. She didn’t look like a broken hearted girl who just walked away from a man she was in love with. Tessa Ross looked at him like there was no one else in the entire world. Her smile was brighter than the sun that shone high in the sky. She was glowing, and her glow erased any worry Collin had about her feelings for the boy she walked away from less than two hours ago. One who she had given her heart to for many years. He knew without a doubt that she was walking towards him without reservations. Tessa looked at Collin and saw his shy smile. One that reached his eyes and poured out to her and radiated through her body, mind, heart, and soul. His eyes twinkled in the light that shone through the stained glass window of the church where she first met him many years ago. He looked amazing. His gray suit fit perfectly and he adjusted his light blue tie when she was half way down the Isle. Tessa stopped and looked him up and down and shook her head. His lips turned up even more. John gave her hand to Collin and smiled and whispered, “We don’t want her back.” “That’s good because I’d never give her back,” Collin stared at Tessa and John hugged him. “Don’t hurt her,” John warned. “Never.” Tessa looked at them and whispered, “Are you two about done?” John kissed her cheek and sat with Maggie in the first row. The church wasn’t full, but the people in attendance filled their hearts. They were family, connected in the heart, held together with love. Their vows were as traditional as they could get. His hands softly stroked hers as he repeated his vows and his eyes pierced into her soul as he spoke. Tessa said her vows and her eyes searched deeply into his. Her hands clung to the collar of his jacket, they were nose to nose. “I need to say one more thing, sorry,” Collin blushed. “Go ahead,” Pastor Lou smiled. “Tessa Ross, from you I finally know what it is to feel love. My every emotion is within your control. Your smile brightens my heart. Your kiss I feel throughout my body, my soul. I’m drawn to your scent, your eyes, your touch, your heart. I have never dreamed that I could feel this way, ever. I never even knew I wanted it. I thought you were a dream Tessa, for years I thought you were an angel. Now I know the truth: you are. I’ll love you, always. This is my promise to all that love you, to you, and to God,” Collin let out a breath. Tessa touched his face, “My dreams were not of angels but of the opposite. I often wondered why I no longer had revealing dreams. My hope was always to have someone to share the details with, someone who is my best friend, and someone I could completely trust to hold my heart. I came here to escape and to find myself again. I was asking for God’s help. I wasn’t searching, I was led here. Until that first day on the beach, I felt your touch and wanted desperately to ignore what it did to me. You weren’t a dream or a desire; you were a gift from God to me, to my heart. I exist for you, I belong to you, I always have, and I always will. This is my promise to all that love you, to you, and to God.” Pastor Lou wiped away a fallen tear and smiled pronouncing them man and wife and told Collin, “You may kiss your Bride… again.”
Collin’s hands slid down her silk gown, and his fingers dug into her hips as he pulled her into his kiss. He gently kissed her forehead and ran his nose down the side of her face; he cupped her chin in his hand and smiled at her. His mouth was slightly opened and then their lips met. And he pulled away as his head rested on hers. He kissed her lips gently again as he stroked her face lightly with his thumb. His mouth opened slightly and he closed his lips around hers. Tessa whimpered faintly, and he pulled back and kissed her nose, her cheek, her head, and then her lips again until finally he rested his forehead against her and rubbed his nose slowly across hers. There was no tongue, and her legs weren’t wrapped around him. It was a gentle exploration; he very intimately adored her face and lips with his. “Damn,” Jade gasped, “I feel like I should look away… but I can’t.” Phoebe smiled, “That’s so hot.” Alex looked at them both and frowned. “Ladies and Gentleman, It’s my honor and brings me immense pleasure to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Collin Abraham,” Pastor Lou smiled, as everyone clapped. “Shall we, Mrs. Abraham?” Collin kissed her neck lightly and wrapped his arm around her waist. Tessa smiled up at him, “I Love you, Collin.” “I’ve always loved you, and I’ll never stop,” he sealed his promise with a kiss and they walked down the isle to the fellowship hall. They stood and hugged everyone and laughed and smiled. “I have something to show you,” Collin whispered to Tessa. “Now?” she smiled. “Oh, Mrs. Abraham not that. My wedding gift to both of us. Please excuse us for a moment,” he smiled and walked Tessa back into the sanctuary. They walked down the right side past the pews and turned her towards the window and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her, “For us.” Tessa ran her hands across the stained glass window and fought back tears. Collin had replaced the old window with one that was in all different hues of blue. It read: In Loving Memory Of our Beloved Ann Tessa began to shake slightly, and he held her closer. “Are you alright?” he asked softly. “It’s… beautiful. Collin... it’s beautiful,” she turned and hugged him and cried softly on his shoulder, she cleared her throat, “I love you so much.” “And I you. You are my love, my life, and now you, Tessa are my wife. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world today. I’ve made you cry on your wedding day. I’ll certainly make up for that later,” Collin hugged her. Tessa giggled, “They’re happy tears. I’m sure that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” “Tessa, without her I never would’ve met you. I owe her a lot more than just a window. I did that for us, Mrs. Abraham. Your family, those in the past and those watching us from over there,” he nodded, and she looked as they all stood watching them, “They made you who you are. And you have shown me more love than I have ever known, ever. I’ll take care of your heart, mind, soul, and body forever. I more than love you, Tessa. I treasure you, I adore you, and I‘ll show you that until my last breath.” “My God, could you be anymore perfect?” Tessa kissed him, “I don’t deserve you, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying my hardest to prove to you that you’re my world from now until… the day you die.” He picked her up and kissed her hard on the mouth, “We need to eat cake and get out of here; I want to start taking care of your body as soon as possible.”
They ate cake and smiled when Pastor Lou presented them with a black and white poster size photo of their first kiss. Tessa’s family, immediate and extended, went back to the beach houses. They would all stay there. Collin and Tessa would be going to the hotel where they attempted to stay a week ago. *** He carried her over the threshold and slowly set her on her feet. She smiled and looked down, “Collin, I’m very nervous.” “You look beautiful tonight,” he whispered in her ear and kissed it. Collin kissed the top of her head, her ear, and her neck. She closed her eyes and slowly began to melt. He turned her around facing the window overlooking the water. He unzipped her dress slowly; it slipped off of her and fell to the floor. “How am I ever going to decide where to lick you first?” his breath hit her back and she bit her lip, stopping the noise she felt creeping up her throat. He slowly undid the corset and with each eyelet he unhooked he lightly kissed her back slowly down until it was undone and fell to the floor. He kissed from hip to hip across her back and down her rear. She felt his tongue at the base of her backside as he licked upward, she felt a shiver up her spine. Collin turned her around and kissed her lips, “I don’t know if I can be gentle with you Tessa, I want to fuck you so hard.” “Please,” she whispered. “Tell me what you want Tess,” Collin gently and slowly kissed down her neck, across her collarbone and to her breasts. Her nipples were erect, he took one in his mouth, and she gasped, his hand cupped the other and he lightly rubbed her between his fingers. She began breathing deeply trying hard not to move. Her hands found their way to his hair as he began to suck and tug at her taunt tips. “You taste so damn good, I need more.” He began moving down her stomach covering it with light kisses until he reached her panties, slowly pulling them down, she stepped out of them. One hand went back to her breast, he pulled a little harder, and she let out a quiet whimper. His other hand lifted her leg to his shoulder, and he let it rest there as he kissed her inner thigh. Her hips swayed slightly with each kiss, and she pulled his hair a bit harder. He lowered her leg and kissed her stomach. Using both hands now to stimulate her breasts, he stood up and kissed her again, he moved to her breasts, sucking harder and harder on them, lush licks crossed her aching nipples. “You are stunning, better than I could have imagined,” Collin undid his pants, and they dropped to the floor. He took her hands and slowly they moved to the bed. He lay on his side and her on her back. He kissed her and his hands slid down her body and touched her warmth, she caressed his erection, and they both moaned at the same time, into each other’s mouths. His fingers were between her legs, circling her tender aching spot. He stopped kissing her mouth and began moving lower and lower down her body, he was anxious to taste her. He moved between her legs, and she opened for him. He blew gently on her and parted her with his tongue. She couldn’t keep still, he put his hands on her hips and lifted her feet so that they rested on his back. He tugged at her lightly with his teeth and used his very strong tongue to soften her, relax her, satisfy her. Tessa’s body burned as his tongue licked every inch of her now soaked pussy. She yelled out his name as her body exploded. H moved up to her stomach kissing gently and then her breast was again in his mouth, she burned everywhere, and her body actually ached. Collin grabbed a condom off of the nightstand and put it on, and he began to slowly push into her with his rock hard shaft. She was still reacting to the assault by his mouth when he pushed further into her. “You are so tight Tessa and wet, so wet for me,” he growled. He entered slowly, filling her, stretching her beyond what she had ever experienced; it was full, too
full. Tessa tensed, and he pulled back slightly. His hips circled slowly hitting the spot inside her that longed for him. “Oh God,” she dug into his back. She began to pant and she pulled his hair as he moved gently in and out, her hips met his, and she cried softly into his chest. Hearing her pleasure encouraged him to move faster and harder into her. He bowed his head taking her breast into his mouth as they bounced with each deep thrust. She came again, and he slowly continued to push into her. “That’s better,” Collin growled between his clenched teeth. “I love you,” she gasped, “God… I love you so much.” He moved faster and harder, “Tell me again Tessa,” he growled. “I LOVE YOU,” she yelled out as she began feeling another orgasm, “Oh God, oh God Collin. I Love you,” she yelled and fell apart again. “Look at me, look what you do to me,” he growled as she felt him jerk inside her. “God Tessa!” he said as he fell onto her and finally breathed out loudly. He rolled over on his back and pulled her onto him and covered her face with kisses. “I love you, Tessa,” he panted. “I love you, Collin.” He sat up with her on his lap and rolled so she was on her back under him. He started to pull out, and she squeezed him inside her. “Tessa,” Collin growled. “Don’t take it out, stay,” she asked wrapping her arms and legs around him. He laughed, “You hugged me.” She squeezed again, “Yeah like that that’s fucking hot. I need you again, and that means I need to change this condom or we’ll have a mess.” He pulled out swiftly and she gasped and pulled her knees together tightly. Tessa sat up and watched him, when he noticed her he laughed, “What are you doing?” “Checking out your stuff,” she giggled. “You want to sit there and watch or will you lie back down so I can have you again?” “I was actually thinking how much I would like to have you this time,” she pushed him down, “Without this.” Tessa licked her lips and looked at him. He smiled a sexy half smile and sat up against the headboard. “Lose the blanket Tessa,” he spoke in a soft yet authoritative voice. Tessa let the blanket fall and took in a deep breath and whispered, “You can’t watch me.” “I can’t look away,” he leaned down and kissed her softly and pulled her onto his lap. “I love you,” he whispered against her cheek, “I want you that can wait.” Tessa kissed him and moved down his neck, she paused as she licked down the center of his throat, he moaned. She moved to his chest. She briefly looked up into his eyes, deep and dark with desire. His lips curled softly and she closed her eyes and moved back up and kissed his mouth, and he groaned as he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom. Tessa took it from him and slid down his lap and opened it. She took his hard, large shaft in her hand and his head tilted back, and a growl escaped his lips. Tessa looked up as she stroked him gently and his nostrils flared and jaw clenched as he bit down hard, his lips separated, and his teeth were slightly bared. The muscles in his jaw flexed. It was so raw — his response to her touch, almost animal like. Tessa was so turned on by his show of emotion that she began to kiss his chest and down his happy trail. She kissed his hard toned abs and down to the finely manscaped area just above his hard thick shaft. Her mouth kissed and licked and nipped her way down the V, and she sucked lightly on his inner thigh. “Fuck!” he growled. Tessa’s tongue lightly skimmed across his erection and to his left inner thigh were she sucked again.
His erection twitched, his hands grabbed the sheets as he growled again. She went back and took his shaft in her hands and stroked him as her tongue lightly flicked his wide throbbing purple tip. She was rewarded with a small bead formed at its peak, and she sheathed her teeth and sucked hard on him. “Tessa,” her name slipped out followed by a deep guttural sound. She moved one hand to cup him as she continued sucking his length, and his knees raised, so his feet were firmly planted on the bed. She licked down him tonguing the veins that throbbed down the full length of him and his toes curled, and were digging into the bed. “Damn…,” he growled as he grabbed the headboard behind him as his hips thrust forward. Tessa sucked hard as he thrust into her mouth, she couldn’t take the whole length of him, and when he pushed hard she gagged slightly, he stopped. “Sorry, damn… you suck me so fucking good,” he growled. Tessa felt a burn in her belly. She was completely turned on by how he reacted to her. Her tongue flicked across his head and down him, she licked and sucked his sack, and he yelled out a variety of curses as she sucked one ball and the next gently in her mouth. “I need you, damn it…” he growled. Tessa moved back to his head and hollowed her cheeks as she sucked hard on him. “You need to stop before I come,” his toes dug in deeper and she heard the headboard creek loudly. She shook her head no as she continued. She felt the first hot thick burst and he groaned loudly as she pumped him with her fist and swallowed. The next hot burst was harder to swallow and she felt him twitch again and looked up readying herself for another mouthful. He was biting his lip, one nostril raised and twitched as he watched her. She felt him twitch and pumped him harder and looked at his steaming eyes. His upper lip curled slightly and she opened her mouth so he could watch himself come in it. He threw his head back and yelled out her name until he was completely empty. Tessa swallowed, sat up on her knees and watched him try to pull himself together. “My God,” he breathed out and reached down and pulled her onto him. Tessa giggled and wrapped her arms around him. Collin saw her knees clench together and took her hand and sucked gently on her finger. He covered her hand with his and lowered it between her legs. Tessa started to pull her hand away and he held it firmly and shook his head no. His hand guided hers rubbing her clit and she moaned. He lifted her hand to his mouth and sucked their fingers, “You taste divine.” She gasped and his hand took hers again. His other hand pulled her knees apart widely and kissed her neck. He pulled her between his legs and hooked his ankles around her knees and spread her wider. He bent over her shoulder and kissed her neck. She glanced over her shoulder and he captured her lips with his. He dragged her hand with his down her belly and rubbed her aching sweet spot with his thumb, she moaned into his mouth. He guided her finger up to the spot now throbbing and ready to burst. He watched over her shoulder as their fingers brought her to orgasm again. He pulled the blanket up around them and smiled at her and kissed her. “You have no idea the effect you have on me, Tessa Abraham,” he kissed her again. “Touché Mr. Abraham,” she yawned and he smiled. “A brief rest?” “Yes please,” she curled into his arms and drifted off to sleep. Collin woke to Tessa draped over his body, both of them still completely naked. He rubbed her back and kissed her head. He looked at the clock, it was only midnight. He felt her stir. He gently ran his hands down her hair and whispered, “Shh” until he felt her relax again. He couldn’t go back to sleep, her tits rose and fell with each sweet breath she took and released. He felt himself harden, easy boy, he thought. Damn it — go to sleep! He told himself. She whimpered
and softly moaned and he couldn’t stop it from happening. He let out a slow deep breath and scrunched his eyes together and shook his head. He felt his cock growing as it hit her belly. She stirred a bit and he shook his head. I’ll be mortified if she wakes up, she is going to think I have the self- control of a thirteen- year- old boy and she is going to go running for the hills. DOWN BOY! He thought. He opened his eyes and looked down when he felt her stir again. “Hi.” “Good morning.” “Did you miss me?” she giggled. “Sorry, that’s… embarrassing,” he tried to explain. She sat up and looked down at his erection, “There is nothing to be embarrassed about… that is amazing.” “Tessa your tits were rubbing all over me and little moans escaped your mouth and I could do nothing to stop it from happening, I’m sorry,” he said and sat up. Tessa smiled, “I think you like me.” “Well, I think you’re correct,” he laughed shyly. “Well, I’m pretty sure we are married right, that wasn’t just a dream?” she smiled. “We’re definitely married,” he smiled and grabbed her hand and kissed the ring. “Well, the way I see it, what’s mine is yours and if you wake up and want what’s yours, you should take it. I mean you are wasting all that and that is definitely not something you should ever waste,” she giggled. “Let me clarify what you just said, anytime?” “Yes please, unless I say no or we have fought or…,” she giggled as he pounced on her. “I love you Mrs. Abraham,” he said and kissed her neck. “Not as much as I am loving you right now,” she giggled as she stroked him gently. *** Tessa woke and looked down. He held one of her breasts in his hand. His knee was between her legs pressing snuggly against her crotch. She smiled and bit her lip trying to stifle a giggle. His eyes blinked and then opened and he looked down at her surprised. “Oh God, Tessa I’m sorry,” he said when he was aware of his bodies placement. Tessa laughed and kissed him quickly, “I need to use the bathroom.” He heard the shower running and knocked on the door, “Are you okay in there?” Tessa opened the door and was wrapped in a thick white towel, “Everything’s fine, better than fine are you okay?” “Did that offend you?” he asked quickly. She smiled, “No not at all. It was nice to wake up like that.” His face flashed relief, “So you were serious last night about whenever I wanted you?” “Yes,” she smiled. He walked past her and grabbed his toothbrush, “So that means I can join you in the shower?” “Yes please,” she dropped the towel and walked into the shower. She heard him growl behind her and she smiled. He stepped into the shower and grabbed a washcloth and squirted bath soap on it. Tessa was rinsing the shampoo out of her hair when she felt him rubbing her neck. She opened her eyes and he stopped and
turned away. He turned back and handed her a washcloth and bent his neck to the side. “Here first,” he smiled. They slowly and thoroughly washed each other’s bodies. He squirted conditioner in his hand and massaged it in her hair; she felt the pressure of his erection pushing against her belly and smiled. She reached down and gently stroked him. “I’m not done with you yet, beautiful,” he turned her around and rinsed the conditioner from her hair and started cleaning her back. Each place he washed, he would rinse and kiss her and nip gently. “Hands on the wall Tessa,” his voice deep and direct. He bent her slightly and washed her backside. As she anticipated him entering her from behind she started moaning as he washed down her legs. He stood up and gently pushed her feet apart with his and reached under her and washed between her legs stopping to pay special attention to her sweet spot causing her to close her knees slightly. “No Tessa, not yet,” he whispered against her neck. She felt him against her and moaned again, this time louder. She heard his deep throaty chuckle as he brought the washcloth from front to back as he cleaned her ass. He skimmed lightly and she clenched her cheeks together. He brought his hand around her waist and pressed down on her throbbing ball of nerves and she groaned. He washed her ass slightly harder this time and circled her with the cloth, she heard him growl and then he was on his knees under her, licking her hard and slow. Her legs spread wider as he held one hand behind him supporting his weight. Her back arched body as he devoured. her. His other hand still applying light pressure from behind. She moaned and felt the onset of electrical pulses between her legs and cried out. His hand from behind replaced his mouth and his thumb circled her and two fingers went in bringing her to scream out his name. She felt him kissing her behind and then she felt the pressure of his tongue against her ass. Tessa gasped and started to fall. He quickly stood and grabbed her waist and thrust deeply into her over and over as she screamed out his name and when he was ready he pulled out and she felt him come on her back. Holy Hell, that was so hot, she thought. He didn’t miss a beat. As she rested her head and arms against the shower wall, he cleaned her again from front to back and then himself. He pulled her gently to him and kissed her neck and shoulders and turned her around to face him. “I can’t get enough of you,” he growled as he lifted her and carried her to the bed, kissing her neck and chest as he laid her down. Tessa looked down and he was half hard and growing again. He grabbed a condom and rolled it on, “You are going to tell me when you have had enough. God, what are you doing to me?” He kissed her lips hard and down her neck, “Ridiculous how bad I need you. No fucking self- control, your smell, your taste….” His lips vibrated down her body as he stammered about his need for her which opened the flood gates and rid her of the fear that her body might not be ready again to respond to his touch. As soon as they finished he lifted himself up and kissed her softly on the mouth. “I’m going to end up killing you,” he scolded himself. “Hmm, death by fucking… I can think of worse ways to go,” she giggled and he smiled. “I love you Tessa Abraham,” Collin said before collapsing onto her. Tessa closed her eyes as she was spread out naked under him with his head buried in her neck. She fell asleep. Collin lifted himself off of her and smiled as he watched her sleep. He wanted to keep the covers off but knew if he did he would be inside her again. He tucked her in and she moaned and smiled. He packed their bags and looked at the clock, it was almost ten. Tessa had been asleep for an hour. Check out was at eleven and he had ordered a catered brunch at the beach house for her family. He sat
back and watched her sleep and stood up and walked away. He knew if he stayed there he would be waking her up and she obviously needed her sleep. At ten thirty her eyes started to open and he smiled at her. She sat up and stretched, “You look amazing. Did you rest?” He stood and grabbed her clothes, “No, our bags are packed and your family will be expecting us in about thirty minutes.” He kissed her chastely and walked away. Tessa dressed quickly and quietly, “Okay, I’m ready.” “Are you okay?” “Yes but… never mind. Are you alright?” “But what Tessa?” he asked and a look of panic set in his eyes. “You just looked annoyed when I woke, did I do something wrong?” she asked in a whisper. “No Tessa. I, however, seem to be unable to retain control of my desire when it comes to you. I apologize and I won’t ask so much of you. I’m sorry,” he looked away. Tessa grabbed his face and scowled, “Don’t work too hard at it. I’ve never felt so good in my life. You are AMAZING. I love you. Please don’t let that stop,” Tessa hugged him. “You’re sure?” “Very,” she giggled. “We should leave?” he asked. “I think we kind of have to.” “We need to stop at a drug store, we’ve run out of condoms,” he closed his eyes. Tessa laughed as they walked out of their room.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Tessa and Collin had decided that they would fly back to Tessa’s hometown. He wanted to get to know her family, and he had promised John not to keep her away. They returned to the farm, and no one was home. “What would you like to do?” Tessa asked. “I think I would like to get to know more about my wife, you know outside of the bedroom,” he laughed. Tessa grabbed her computer and sat on the couch. She opened up her photos and took a deep breath. “Okay, this is Tommy; he was Lucas’s best friend since childhood. He and Jade dated, and he was wonderful, he died in a car accident when Sadi was pregnant and I was starting a relationship with Ben, a friend. He has been in my life forever; his dad and my dad are friends. He means a lot to me Collin, but that’s it, friends. Oh and Lucas made them come watch his band, and I behaved badly on stage with Ben to hurt Lucas or get over him or both I don’t know. Anyway we were going home, and well the main part is we came upon the accident and he got me through that loss even knowing that I would end up back with Lucas to take care of him. Ben is my friend. Jade didn’t know she was pregnant and found out that day in the hospital. Jade lost her twin brothers in a car accident a few years before that and her mother was never the same. Jade hasn’t seen her in years. But Ryan was friends with the twins, Jade’s brothers and my cousins and well he loved her and married her before the baby was born and they are amazing together. Little Luke, named after Lucas is my God son and Lucas’s, and so are Riley and Jackson the two children that Jade and Ryan have together. Do we need a break?” She asked. He shook his head no and kissed her. “Okay, so I moved in with Lucas when he attended SU on a football scholarship. It was a choice I made because I found out I was pregnant, it ended at twelve weeks, it was tubal, but it was very hard. We did very well for a few years and then when he was drafted, things started falling apart. Before we both graduated he surprised me by building a house on land he bought from my father, which I have since bought back some of the land and signed off the house. With the agreement that my family gets first dibs on buying it back if he ever sold it. Should I stop?” he shook his head no, “He was drafted by the Jets.” “Hold on… your ex was a Pro, football player?” “Yes Lucas Links, he played at SU first. I made him finish his degree,” she laughed, “and he is currently with the Forty Niners. He got hurt pretty bad during pre- season. Last we talked, before I met you, he was going to go back to work for his father because life was better then.” “Okay — I thought this was just some hometown punk ass kid,” Collin looked confused. “He is,” she laughed. “Tessa it doesn’t seem that way.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, when he went to meet with San Francisco, he and I fought because he wanted me to go with him, and I refused to go because I didn’t want to miss my finals. I surprised him by flying out two nights before he came home. I got a hotel key and went in, and he was screwing someone. That was when things really fell apart. He also messed around on me at SU and always promised to change.” She noticed Collin’s immediate reaction and decided to ask, “Collin… are you questioning why I’m not with him?” “No, Tessa I didn’t think my competition was as accomplished,” he was annoyed. “I’m going to shower, by the way, I was under the assumption our marriage meant as much to you as it does to me, this is not a competition.” She walked into the bathroom slammed the door and locked it.
When she came out he was still sitting there looking at pictures, she walked past him and went upstairs to change. When she came down, he was in the shower. She walked outside and played with Leia. Collin walked outside to find Tessa. John waved to Collin, and he walked over to him, “How’s my girl?” “She’s upset with me right now.” John laughed, “What did you do?” “I questioned her about her punk ass… sorry John. I didn’t know Lucas was a pro football player.” Tessa walked in and changed to go for a run. She went outside and took off down the road. “Wow, she’s angry or trying to work through something,” John pointed at Tessa. Collin watched her and shook his head, “This is one hell of a honeymoon.” “Fix it,” John laughed. “How?” “You'll figure it out,” John said. “John — in two weeks I’m going to Ecuador. I want her to go with me as long as things are worked out and security has wrapped up. Do you have any reservations about that?” “Nope,” he said. An hour later Tessa came back and Collin was outside. He hugged her. “I don’t doubt how I feel about you, about us. I just hope you don’t Tessa.” “I want nothing more than to spend forever with you, I said I do. I don’t know how much more I can say about it.” “I believe you,” he hugged her she held tightly to him, she loved him there was no doubt, even his hug felt like it was meant for her. A car pulled in the driveway. “Who is this?” he asked kissing her head. “Landon,” she said quietly, and Leia growled. “Perfect,” he heard John walk up behind them and chuckle. “Collin, Tessa I’m here to thank you for not pressing charges.” Tessa looked up at Collin and smiled. “You’re welcome, she doesn’t believe he would hurt her, and I trust her.” “He’s hurting but knows he did it to himself,” Landon looked at Tessa. “Are you going to stay with him?” “I am for a couple days. I’ll see what Audrianna thinks about coming up.” “Okay, because he is going to need someone.” “Excuse me, have either of you ever thought that he needs to figure it out for himself?” Collin asked cynically. “He lived alone for years taking care of himself, with a drunk mother, he didn’t fare very well. He needs his family,” Tessa scowled. “Alright Tessa but if he doesn’t learn to do it for himself nothing is going to change for him and you care about him and by not letting him figure it out for himself… you’re not doing him any good. He’s an adult now, regardless of what has happened to him he needs to be allowed time to become one. I’m not saying I know everything, but you don’t teach someone something and then stand there and do it for them. And you don’t stop being a parent either,” he looked at Landon. “Well, you two certainly are a perfect match,” Landon laughed and so did. “Pretty smart kids huh? I have it for a couple days. John he would like to talk to you and Maggie, you’ve all been his family, and he truly loves you all,” Landon smiled. “Anytime,” John said.
“Thanks again, I’ll certainly miss your spunk Tessa,” Landon said and left John patted Tessa and Collin on the back and walked back towards the shop. “Tessa, are you angry at me?” “Yes.” “You were a kid trying to teach him. You understand that… you even said it.” “Yes but that’s not why I’m mad. I’m mad because you doubted me. And from experience: doubt ruins things. I don’t ever want us to fail Collin,” Tessa said sadly. “I won’t let us,” he hugged her tightly to him. They all sat at dinner and Collin learned even more about his wife, she was going to be a handful, and it didn’t bother him at all. The challenge appealed to him, in more ways than one. The next morning he woke her up and kissed her, he had already showered. “Good morning,” he kissed her again, “You fell asleep on me last night.” “It’s just weird here in my parent’s house,” she kissed him back. “Good to hear, we’re going to take off for awhile,” he pulled her on top of him and kissed her again. “Where are we going?” She asked and kissed his neck. He pulled her shirt off and grabbed her breast “It’s a surprise.” “I don’t like surprises,” she pulled his shirt over his head. “You will,” he laid her down. “Collin, not here,” she said and pulled his pants down. “Okay,” he took her panties off. He moved into her and she moaned, “I said not here.” “I’m trained to know the difference between a lie and the truth, and you weren’t telling the truth. You took my pants off,” he smiled and kissed her. She laughed. And dug into his back, she moaned his name and he kissed her. “Shhh,” he said. “Are you crazy?” she asked and he laughed. “You better hold on and try to be quiet,” he said into her neck as he nipped it lightly. “Holy shit,” she said trying to catch her breath. “Collin stop!” “What’s wrong?” he asked clenching his jaw. “I’m not on any type of birth control,” she said as her eyes danced. “You want children right?” he asked curiously. “Yes but we can wait until you’re ready.” “I’m ready, are you? Say the words, beautiful.” “Yes as long as you are I am,” she smiled from ear to ear and covered her face he laughed and lightly pushed her down. “Let’s do it,” he kissed her. He was wild, and after she had reached orgasm twice, he whispered in her ear, “Boy or girl? Tell me what you want.” “Surprise me,” she giggled. He pulled her up facing him and smiled. She couldn’t move so he moved her and he finally released into her as he held her tightly against him. “So what is it going to be?” she asked breathlessly. He laid her down and put a pillow under her butt elevating her hips. “A surprise,” he kissed her, “Don’t move for about ten minutes.” Collin stood up and kissed her again and walked towards the door. She laughed “Where are you going?” “I can’t stay in here and watch you like that for ten minutes,” he growled and his jaw clenched. “Damn
Tessa I just came inside of you, do you have any idea how good that felt?” “I love you” she yelled after him laughing. He ran downstairs and went into the bathroom and washed up and shaved. She walked down the stairs still laughing and walked into the bathroom. “What are you doing Mrs. Abraham?” “Going to the bathroom.” “With me in here,” he asked amused. She laughed, “Will that bother you?” “I don’t know really?” he smiled, “Go ahead let’s see.” He leaned against the counter and looked at her making her uncomfortable. “Get out, now I can’t,” she laughed. He winked, “You’ll have to eventually.” “No, I won’t,” she stood up. He was still laughing when he walked out into the kitchen. “Good God, are you two about done?” Alex said. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know anyone was home,” Collin cringed at the thought of what Alex might have heard. Tessa walked out and saw his face and scowled at Alex. “I am, we’re so sorry,” he said nervously. “Tessa what the hell is he doing to you up there?” Alex asked. “All the times I walked into your old place you never sounded like that — are you okay?” Tessa laughed and looked at Collin, who looked nervous and beat red, she laughed until her belly hurt. “Do you want to tell him Collin?” she asked still laughing. “No, not really,” he said quickly looking at her like she had lost her mind. She laughed harder, and Alex shook his head. “You mean to tell me Phoebe doesn’t sound like that?” she said wiping her tears away. “She’s still alive isn’t she?” Alex gasped dramatically. “You need to unleash on your wife, Alex,” she was still smiling and trying to catch her breath. “Tell him Collin what you were doing to me.” “Tessa this is uncomfortable for me and your brother,” Collin scolded. “Sorry,” she smiled. “Alex — he and I were having sex.” “The best sex I've ever had,” she whispered and walked into the bathroom and showered. She got dressed and came downstairs, “Can we go visit Phoebe and then Jade before we leave?” “Yes,” he said smiling. “What?” “You, you make me very happy,” he kissed her. “You make me happy, too,” she kissed him back. *** Tessa and Collin went to Phoebe’s, and he held Remington while Tessa helped Phoebe put food in freezer bags, they had an overwhelming amount of it since the baby was born. “Can we stay so I can make her take a nap; she has got to be tired with Alex still in school.” “Of course,” he said and held him. Tessa smiled as she watched Collin hold him, he’s going to be a good father. They went to Jade’s and the kids were acting like animals. She laughed and watched how he reacted to them. He wasn’t as relaxed with them but not put off either, which made her happy. “Where is Uncle Lucas?” Lukie asked.
“I’m not sure, but I want you to meet someone who is very special to me Lukie, okay?” they walked out, and Tessa introduced them. “You’re not marrying Uncle Lucas?” “No, that didn’t work out buddy, but he loves you, and so do I,” she said, “and you’re going to love Collin someday, too.” “Okay, so there’s more people to love, that’s not a bad thing… baby” he laughed. Tessa laughed out loud. Jade came out “What is so funny?” “He is,” she said. “He’s very funny he just called me baby, like on purpose Jade.” They both laughed. “Why is that funny?” Collin asked. Tessa told him that Lucas always called her that. And little Luke must have picked it up from him. “Collin how was she? You never called,” Jade asked and Ryan walked in. “Very quiet, she doesn’t like to talk during sex, and she lays there and makes me do all the work,” he smiled at Tessa. “That sucks Collin, I’m sorry,” Jade laughed.”You two want to stay for dinner?” “We would love to, but we’re actually going to take off for awhile,” Tessa smiled politely. “Where and how long?” Jade said knowing exactly why Tessa looked confused. Collin shook his head looking at the two of them. “We can stay. We leave in the morning, and it’s a surprise.” “Well Collin, I would ask you to call me when you got there, but you’ve disappointed me already,” Jade smiled. “I’ll make sure you’re not disappointed before you fall asleep tonight Jade,” Ryan whispered in her ear as he walked in the house. They ate dinner, and Ryan and Collin talked about Ryan’s work. And Collin learned he worked for Landon. When the girls went in to clean up, he told him about Lucas and what he’d done for them. “He isn’t a bad guy he just sucked with Tessa. I’m glad she has you, and you have to be good to her Collin… she deserves nothing less,” Ryan demanded. “I don’t like him because he could have killed her that day. I don’t doubt that he became a good person how could he not be after spending four or five years with her. I’ll never hurt her intentionally,” he assured Ryan, “You all need to let him grow up, or he’ll be lost forever. She cares for him, and I don’t want to see her beating herself up because he can’t function without her. You’re a good man Ryan, and you have a beautiful home and family, not because of him but because of what you’ve done.” They said their goodbyes and hugged the kids. “Goodbye Collin, be nice to my baby” Lukie laughed. “I will. You be good for your mommy and daddy,” he held his hand up and Lukie high- fived him. “Deal.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN They walked into the airport early the next morning, and Collin handed Tessa her ticket, they were going to Hawaii for ten days. She was excited, and he took a picture of Tessa smiling, holding the ticket and sent it to Jade, Phoebe, and her parents: they all texted back. “Have you ever had sex on an airplane?” he whispered in her ear. “Have you?” “Not while in flight.” When they landed, she was exhausted. There is no way possible that the flight attendant didn’t catch on to what was going a mile high in the sky. But Tessa was sore from bending over the airplane’s bathroom sink as he slammed into her every hour or so. She was sure her knees were also bruised from slamming against the walls as she rode him on the closed toilet seat. He had told her not to try to keep up, but there was no way in hell she wasn’t going to give it her all. Apparently letting this kind of thing happen was a perk of first class. “Are you tired, beautiful?” “Exhausted,” she smiled. “I can’t wait to show you the place I picked, it’s a bungalow.” “Why not a hotel?” “You’re loud,” he laughed. “Your fault,” she grabbed his butt. “When do you menstruate?” he asked and she laughed. “What?” “I don’t know, we usually say get your period or when does your situation arise,” she giggled. “Well when?” “Two or three weeks,” she smiled. “Perfect,” he said, “We are going to have fun, Tessa Abraham.” “I don’t doubt that at all,” she kissed him. They stayed on Mauna Lani Bay in a private bungalow with a private pool and a round- the- clock butler service. It was beautiful. It faced the ocean, and they swam with turtles as big as Leia and dolphins. They went snorkeling, hiking, and cliff diving. They talked about their families and their dreams for their future. He didn’t touch his phone the entire time they were there but knew that every night she snuck into the bathroom and called home. They made love every day, several times a day. Collin dismissed the butler, he was asked to come only when they were out, after the ordeal with Alex, Tessa thought that Collin would be scarred for life from that one incident. The day before they left he wanted a couple hours to talk. He scheduled it with her. Collin was funny and charming and loved her; she didn’t care about his past because it molded the perfect man who was now her husband. When she thought about Lucas, she no longer felt like it was her duty to make things right for him but desperately prayed he would be. Even though, she used the words care for him, without love she wouldn’t care, and she knew she would love him forever. Her love for Collin was the strongest she had ever felt in her life; there was no doubt or jealousy. Although she had not had to be away from him for very long, she just knew when she was, it would be alright. “When we get back, I have to be in Ecuador for two weeks. I have asked your father if it’s alright for you to come with me, and he said that it was as long as it was with you,” he said and watched for her reaction. “I would love to, but I have to start working sometime,” she laughed.
“My wife doesn’t have to work.” He didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for. “Okay, that’s important to you.” “Yes actually it is, but I want to be with you.” He watched her deep in thought struggling to figure it out. “Let me make this easy for you. When we go to these little villages in the middle of nowhere, we help them set up housing and structures. But it’s much more than that: Tomas and the group you saw on the deck, help them learn about security and train them to be able to sustain and maintain the village that they helped build. So that they are vested and have learned to do it alone with little help when we leave. What funds the majority of this is our health program. I have a group of doctors and nurses, the majority are interns that give immunizations and teach women how to take care of themselves and their children. While the men focus on security and learning how to provide the necessities for their village. We could work beside each other everyday Tessa doing great things for people who truly have no idea that life could be anything, but what it is, perfectly content with nothing. We don’t give it to them they work for it,” he said. “Do you have any questions?” “A couple.” “Okay shoot.” She smiled at him, “You truly are amazing.” “That wasn’t a question, but I am glad you think so,” he took her hands and kissed them. “How long do these trips take?” “Well, my part has always been a month or more. But I’ve found a reason to put a little faith in my people,” he smiled. “This particular trip will last about two weeks, but we always stayed involved for years making sure everything was alright.” “Is there private housing?” she tried not to smile. He laughed, “No, but there will be.” “When can I start?” she asked and smiled at him. He hugged her, “Thank you, alright now where do we set up home base?” “Where do you want to?” “Where will you be happiest?” and he looked at her. “Alright I have an idea, the place we ate lunch after you tried to kill me, you know the hay barn fiasco. There used to be a structure there that burnt down right?” “Yes. Doe Camp,” she laughed and he looked confused. She explained about the camp and the fire, and that Lucas’s house bordered it but from a great distance. “Do you think your father would sell us the land, and if so would you like to build there?” he asked. She couldn’t contain herself; she jumped on his lap and kissed him. “YES! But are you okay with that?” she asked trying to calm herself. “I wouldn’t have asked if I weren’t.” *** John agreed to the sale of the land as long as the same agreement was reached that Lucas and Tessa had come up with. Collin told him that wasn’t necessary it would all be in his wife’s name. John liked this man. Tomas pulled in shortly after they had arrived. “It’s not ready yet Collin.” “Unbelievable!” Tessa watched her husband pace around the driveway trying to figure out something. “Tomas — what did you do to my husband? He’s been perfectly happy until you arrived” she laughed and wrapped her arms around him, “What’s wrong Collin?”
“Thank you for coming to my rescue beautiful, but I do need a few minutes with Tomas. I’ll be in in just a few minutes,” he kissed her. “Come in happy,” she walked away. “It will be in two weeks. There is nothing more I can do to speed up the process. We knew this might be a problem. I can go back if you’d like,” Tomas offered. “No, I’m going to need you here,” he said. “I’ll call you in a few hours.” He walked in and grabbed Tessa’s hand, “We need to talk.” “Okay,” she said, “Is everything alright?” “No, it’s going to be another two weeks before we’re ready for civilians,” he frowned and then looked angry. “Alright,” she said and felt a lump in her throat. “Tessa, this is not what I want, but I have to be there.” “Okay, I can go back to the Cape and wait for you.” “Why would you do that, your family is here,” he asked, “Oh… you’re worried about Lucas.” “No, I’m worried that you’ll be worried about him. I love you, Collin,” tears started to form. “Tessa I know that and I’m not worried about you and him. I’m concerned that you don’t believe me when I tell you that. I trust in what we have,” he hugged her. “What I’m concerned with is that you’re going to be angry about this.” “No, it was already in the plans before we got married, I just can’t wait until I can go with you,” she said softly with her head against his chest. “You’re going to be busy. You have a house to design. I want to be in it by Christmas,” Collin smiled and caressed her face. *** They spent the next week planning for the following two weeks. They flew back to the Cape, and he reminded her of all the places he said he wanted her. He did not disappoint. He had asked that she put all important dates on his calendar, he wanted to know birthdays and anniversaries and anything that was important to her. He gave her a list of must have’s for the house and told her whatever she wanted she should add to it. He didn’t care what the design was, or the colors she chose. He wanted her to find a contractor who was good and could start immediately. They flew back to Tessa’s family the day before he left and spent the afternoon with Jake, John, and Maggie. They ate dinner and relaxed in the living room with family and Leia, who had missed them terribly. *** Tessa woke as Collin stroked her face gently when they arrived at the airport hotel, “Sorry — I fell asleep.” “Don’t be sorry, you were tired. Let's get in and get you to bed,” Collin smiled and kissed her head. They entered their room, and he set the bags on the sofa. Tessa walked into the bathroom. Collin brought their toothbrushes and night clothes in and brushed his teeth. Tessa watched him as he carefully brushed each tooth and looked in the mirror inspecting his work. He rubbed the stubble on his face and took a deep breath and noticed her grinning in the mirror. “Mrs. Abraham what is so amusing?” he asked a bit self- consciously. Tessa turned his face to her and rubbed and stroked his face with the tips of her nails, “I like this.” His eyes brightened, “Really?” “Really,” she said and sat on the bathroom counter and pulled him towards her.
She pulled his shirt over his head as he leaned forward so she could take it off him. She let it fall on the floor. She looked at his chest and skimmed her nails over the sparse hairs that lay across his chest and down his belly. “I like this too,” she licked her lips and swallowed trying to wet her dry mouth. She pushed him back gently and stood up, “These are nice but need to go.” Tessa unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, and they fell to the ground. She pulled his boxers briefs down. She unsnapped her bra and looked up in his eyes as it fell to the ground. Collin started to reach for her, and she stepped back and shook her head no. He let out a deep breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Tessa walked towards him and uncrossed his arms and set them at his sides. She kissed his neck and worked her way to his collarbone. She stepped back and looked down at his growing erection and looked up. He was staring at her bare breast biting the corner of his lower lip as his nostrils flared slightly. Tessa cupped her breast lightly and tugged at her nipples, and he stepped towards her again. “No,” she whispered and continued lightly rubbing her nipples. “Tessa,” he growled. She walked towards him and kissed his chest holding his arms to his sides and slowly moved down. She lightly flicked her tongue across the tip, and his thick hard cock twitched. She looked up at him as his jaw clenched and he let out a soft deep groan. Tessa cupped her breasts again and lowered herself until she was at the right height to encase his erection between them and moved up and down. “Tessa, fuck,” he moaned and pulled her hair back so that he could watch. With each upward thrust, she sucked hard on his head, and he groaned. His hands took her breasts and he pushed them tightly around him, and his hips rocked into them as she sucked him. She cupped his sack and slowly, gently rolled them and caressed them. She felt them tighten and pull upward slightly. The first hot burst hit her lips, and he cursed. Tessa opened her mouth, and he let go of her breasts and grabbed the counter behind him. His teeth clenched together as he looked down and watched her milk him onto her chest, and when he was empty, she licked him clean as he rubbed his cum across her nipples. “My God Tessa,” he pulled her up to him. Tessa kissed his neck and giggled, “We need a shower.” “How about a bath?” He didn’t wait for an answer and quickly turned and started the bathwater. Tessa added oils and bubble bath. Collin pulled her pants and undies off, and he got in the bathtub. Tessa brushed her teeth and stepped in. Collin sat up, lifted her leg so that her foot rested on the edge of the tub. He grabbed her from the back, and she held herself with her hands on his shoulders as he buried his nose between her legs. He breathed in deeply as his fingers dug into her backside holding her snug against his face. He licked between her legs and she cried out his name. He sucked hard on her clit until it was almost too much to bear. Her knee began to buckle, and he held her still as he continued licking and sucking until she fell apart. “You taste so good Tessa,” he lifted her leg and set it in the water. He stood and turned her towards the wall and bent her at the waist. “Hands on the wall,” he instructed forcefully. “I don’t think I can stand, Collin,” she cried softly as he pushed his finger inside her. “I got you.” He rubbed his wide head outside her opening and she moaned. “Tessa,” he groaned and continued as he fed himself into her slowly inch by inch until he was half in
her. He pulled out and shoved two fingers into her and she cried out his name. He slowly entered her again, and she pushed back hard and yelled out. They met each other thrust for thrust until she felt another orgasm start and he felt her start to crumble. Collin held her against him and with one hand on the wall, continuously pounded into her. “I love you Tessa,” he repeatedly grunted until she felt him jerk inside her as he filled her full. He pulled her back and sat in the tub still inside her. “I love you,” Tessa said breathlessly. Collin kissed her neck and pushed her gently forward as he washed her back. “Tessa turn around,” he whispered against her neck. “Uh- uh,” she said softly. “Let’s finish up our bath and get you into bed.” “No, I don’t want to,” she whispered. Collin laughed and he felt her body tense. “What’s going on Tessa?” he lifted her chin and looked down at her. She was trying not to cry. “Tessa did I hurt you? God I am so sorry. I…” Collin was upset with himself. “No, I just don’t want you to go,” tears rolled down her cheek. “Ok, I can try to figure something out, please don’t cry Tessa….please,” he started to pull her up. “No!” she snapped and held her hand against were there bodies still connected. Tessa started to laugh and cry. “What can I do Tessa just tell me,” he kissed her neck. Tessa laughed again, “I’m being ridiculous! I want you in me, and I know you have to go and I’m going to miss you.” She laughed harder. “Tessa?” She started to stand and moaned when she felt his cock leaving her. “I have problems,” she turned and hugged him burying her face into his neck. He held her tightly and lifted her chin and cocked his head to the side. “I hope this doesn’t upset you and just, so you’re aware if you need me to stay I will figure it out. I don’t think that’s your problem though Tessa. Don’t get me wrong, making love to you, that connection with you is amazing, never in my life have I felt… Tessa I can’t get enough of you in any way. It’s you, all of you, my God it’s insane. You need to remember that I’m not him. I cannot imagine… Tessa I love you and I’ll never do anything to make you not trust that you are part of me, connected in body or otherwise. I will never, look at me Tessa, never hurt you. That is not an idle promise that’s the truth as much as I need air in my lungs; I need you in my heart always.” Tessa‘s tears fell harder, and she hugged him tighter, “I love you.” “I know Tessa, I know that,” he held her until she started to fall asleep. “Tessa, we need to get out of here,” he lifted her chin and kissed her lips gently. Tessa let out a deep breath and stood up. He wrapped her in a towel, and they walked into the bedroom laid in bed and fell asleep entangled in each other. *** “These are the safest vehicles on the market,” he said pointing at the list. “Keep in mind we are going to have a family, pick which one you would like.” “I have the Jeep.” “Tessa I think it’s time to retire that thing,” he laughed. “It’s just a car… you still have your memories.”
“I don’t care, I want you to choose,” she rubbed his hand. “Are you okay? You seem… distant,” Collin asked. “I’m tired that’s all,” she smiled and kissed his hand, “You choose, the only thing I want is Navy Blue like the Jeep and…” “All- wheel drive, that driveway is going to be a beast in the winter.” Tessa laughed, “A beast, huh?” “Why does that amuse you?” “You, you growl,” she giggled. “I what?” he laughed. “You growl when well you know,” she kissed his cheek and sat back. “That’s your fault — beyond my control.” “Did I embarrass you?” “No. Your body responds nicely to that sound. Not embarrassed Tessa at all,” he pulled into the dealership. “We will however need to christen that vehicle you just… fuck — you drive me mad,” he growled. Tessa laughed, “Like that.” Collin rubbed his hand across her chest and her nipples tightened at his touch, “Like that.” He squeezed her nipple and kissed her quickly and got out and walked around and opened her door. She glared at him and rolled her eyes. “Did I embarrass you?” he whispered. “Yes!” she snapped and walked away as he laughed Collin chose a blue Audi Q5 Premium SUV with all- wheel drive. An hour later his plane left after a tearful goodbye and Tessa drove home in her newly christened vehicle.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Tessa worked hard on the plans for the house. They texted back and forth all week. They spoke in the morning and before bed. She missed him terribly. Sunday after church she went to Jade’s for lunch. “The first birthday I missed of yours Tessa, unacceptable,” Jade hugged her. They ate lunch, and Tessa was showing her the slides of their honeymoon when Lucas walked in. “Did you have a good time Tessa?” he asked and she jumped. “Yes,” she said and turned it off. “Don’t stop on my account, Jessie and I would love to see them,” he said sarcastically. They walked in and sat down. “I don’t think this is a good time for this Lucas,” Jade said. “It’s fine,” Tessa said. “Hello Jessie.” “Hello Tessa, I’m sorry about the festival, I was drunk,” she said sincerely. “I accept your...” she started. “Apology, she accepts your apology,” Lucas looked at her. “So where did you go?” “Hawaii, on Mauna Lani Bay.” They watched as the pictures flipped through. There was a picture of her lying on her back her hair tossed all over the place, and she was sleeping with a smile on her face. Lucas looked at her. “You look happy,” he was annoyed. “I am,” she walked out of the room. She called Collin, “Hey — I miss you.” “I miss you beautiful, what’s going on are you having fun with Jade?” he asked. “I am, listen Lucas and Jessie just walked in… if you want me to leave, I will, but they are actually watching our honeymoon slideshow with Jade as we speak. And by the way you take pictures of me when I sleep?” she laughed. “Tessa go turn that off now,” he said insistently. “Okay — I’m sorry,” she walked in the living room and saw pictures of her sunbathing at their private pool in nothing but her bottoms. She ran to the TV and shut it off. “Collin,” she snapped. “Sorry beautiful,” he laughed. “You’re bad,” she whispered. “I trust you Tessa, but if he steps out if line…forget it Jades there right?” he asked and laughed. “Yes,” she laughed, “I’ll call you when I leave, I love you.” “Wow, nice pictures,” Jade laughed. “I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Tessa said and looked down. “Where is your husband Tessa?” Lucas asked. She looked at him, and he was clearly agitated, and he shook his head. “He’s in Ecuador.” “Oh, why?” “On business.” “So soon? How do you feel about that?” “I miss him,” she said and looked at him. “But it’s alright.”
“Can I talk to you alone for a minute?” Tessa looked at Jessie, “Are you alright with that?” “Sure,” Jessie said. They walked into the kitchen, “Can we go upstairs for just a couple minutes?” “No Lucas.” “Then outside by the pool?” She followed him out and stood by the glass doors with her arms crossed in front of her body. “Are you really going to stay with him?” “Lucas, I love him. I married him, and I trust him completely,” she said. “I’m not doing this because I’m trying to hurt you or get over us. When I fell in love with him and said yes to his proposal, it had nothing to do with any hurt feelings or the desire to hurt you. I’m so sorry, but you have moved on and so have I. I want you to still be…” she stopped. “Lucas are you hurting? Or am I wasting my breath, what do you need from me? Please tell me.” Her eyes started tearing up. “Tessa don’t cry. I’m not sure how I feel, I kind of feel numb. I feel my heart will never be whole again. But if you’re happy, truly happy, and he doesn’t hurt you, and he takes care of you like I couldn’t, then… I’m happy for you,” he hugged her. “Lucas, Thank you,” she said and pulled away. “Do you still love me?” “Why do you need to know that Lucas?” she looked down. “Because through everything, regardless of how I acted or what I did to ruin us — I have always loved you, and I always will. Even though, you’re married and look happy I love you, anyway.” “Oh Lucas, it breaks my heart still to feel like I can’t help you through this and not because of any other reason than I do love you. But it’s a different love than I feel for Collin; I don’t know how to explain it. I’m sorry.” “So although I feel this way and even though I know I will never stop, it is possible to love more than one person?” “In different ways, I guess. Like family, I would lie down and die for the people I love, and I would do anything for them. You’re part of that family of people I would do anything for and know would have my back. But I’m deeply in love with Collin, it’s something I’ve never felt before like he was put here for me and me for him,” she looked down. “Not to push here Tessa, but the only other man in your life that I was okay with was Toby. How do you think he would feel about that?” She laughed, “He would be happy for me.” “How do you know that?” he asked. “Collin served with him, and he was at the funeral. After everyone left that day and I sat sobbing at his grave, he was the man in uniform that appeared from the woods and handed me a tissue. And I think I told you that already, maybe you just don’t remember,” she said and smiled. “Tessa, it’s all jumbled together. This sucks, seeing you with someone else, and not like Toby or Ben, Tessa. It fucking hurts,” she closed her eyes and then looked up at him, “Well I guess I have nothing more. I want you to be happy Tessa. I now understand what you mean by you needing me to be okay.” “You would really like him. I wouldn’t ever expect him to become your best friend or you to do that either, but you would really like him,” she said.”Hey — how are you and Jessie, is she possibly the one?” He laughed, “No — but she’s fine for now.” “How are you going find the right person if you can’t be alone for any length of time?” she asked “Well, hello Pot meet Kettle,” he said, and they both laughed, “I’ll try Tessa. Just… I love you. I know what I’ve done Tessa, but I need you to know that if you ever — fuck this sucks. I love you Baby. You
were it for me,” Tessa started to talk and he shook his head no, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, alright? I just need you to know that and I need to believe that if things didn’t work out with him… I would stop at nothing to make sure you knew my love for you is eternal.” He hugged Tessa and she hugged him, “Friends, Baby?” Tessa shook her head yes and stepped back, “What else is going on you still seem off to me, is your mom alright?” “Yes, I came here today because I have to lay Ryan off for a few months and I don’t want to. The only other option is for him to go on the road for the winter and I don’t want that for him or his family. Sorry, it’s not your problem,” he said and messed up her hair. “No, but I think I have a solution.” “What’s up Ross? Or whatever your last name is?” “It’s Abraham, and we’re going to build a house here and he wants it done by Christmas.” “He can do it, I'll help,” he said and shook his head, “No, I won’t. But he built our place and he did it very quickly while working full time for Dad.” “Will it bother you?” “No, of course not. Where are you building?” “We’re kind of going to be neighbors,” she laughed. “Does your husband know that?” he laughed. “Yes.” “You're building at the pond aren’t you?” She smiled, “Yes we are.” “Does your husband know you and I have been in that pond?” Lucas smirked. “You’re an idiot,” Tessa laughed. Ryan and Lukie walked through the gate, and Lukie ran up to Tessa. “Hey Baby,” she laughed and so did Lucas. “That’s my line, little man,” Lucas scooped him up and hugged him. “Everything okay Tessa?” Ryan asked. “Yes… I’m going to head home, but Ryan could you call me later?” Lucas smiled, “Goodbye Mrs. Abraham.” Tessa went home pet Leia and sat on the couch. She called Collin and told him everything that had happened. “Are you okay with all that?” “I told you I was jealous Tessa, so no I’m not okay with you being friendly with him. I’m perfectly fine with Ryan building our home as long as you think he is capable of doing it. I would like to discuss some things with him so I would like you to have him call me. I will see you in a week do you think you can behave?” “Yes, I didn’t fuck him or have any desire too Collin, Goodbye,” she hung up and went upstairs and fell asleep. Jade called Tessa, and she gave her Collins number. He didn’t call her back, and she was mad. The next day when he texted her she ignored him. She lay in bed feeling awful. That afternoon Tomas showed up with papers for her to sign, she was scared when she opened the envelope that they might be separation papers. Tomas watched her and saw immediate relief when she read them. “Are you alright Ma’am?” “I thought he was divorcing me.” “No ma’am he loves you, try to take it easy on him,” he said. “Do you need anything?” “I should probably call him.”
“Yes I think you should.” *** “Hello Tessa,” he answered. “Hi,” she said quietly “I'm sorry,” they said at the same time and laughed. “I love you I’ll see you Monday right?” She asked. “Absolutely, you better get some rest, and I’m going to book a room, I don’t want to disturb anyone,” he laughed. “We could meet at the Cape.” “No, I have a meeting with Ryan to finalize the plans. But that does sound good. Maybe we’ll head up there after we get the ball rolling on the house. I love you Beautiful.” *** Saturday Tessa helped prepare for Lukies fifth birthday, she was tired. They had a bouncy house and a clown. Landon, Audrianna, and the girls came. She hugged the girls and they hugged her. Lucas and Ryan barbecued. And Tessa bounced with the kids. Jessie was also there. They were about ready to eat, and Tessa was getting the kids out when she saw him walk in, she started crying and ran and jumped into his arms. “Surprise,” he kissed her. “God, I missed you,” she kissed him. “Time to eat love birds” Jade yelled and winked at Collin, “See I can keep a secret!” “Did you book a room?” He laughed and shook his head yes. “It better not be far from here, I want you now.” They walked in the backyard with their arms wrapped around each other’s waists and sat at a table away from everyone else. “Steak or Chicken?” Lucas asked Collin “Steak please,” Collin was clearly annoyed. “Thank you.” Lucas dropped chicken on Tessa’s plate and walked away. She looked at Collin and kissed him. “You two don’t mind if we sit here? It really is the only place left,” Lucas said as he and Jessie sat down. “That’s fine,” Collin glared at him. “What’s wrong with the chicken Mrs. Abraham?” Lucas asked. “It’s fine I’m just not hungry.” Lucas laughed and Jessie rolled her eyes and stood up, “Would anyone like a drink?” “Sure do you two want anything — a beer or wine?” Lucas laughed as he looked at Tessa. “Yes, please we’ll have water,” Collin said, “Is that okay Tessa?” “Yes thank you Jessie.” Collin cut up her chicken and fed her a bite. She looked disgusted. Lucas laughed and stood up quickly, “Congratulations Collin,” Lucas reached across the table and messed up Tessa’s hair and walked away. “What is his problem? I warned him, not a hair on your head,” Collin sneered “He’s trying, please be nice.”
Tessa stood up and walked to the house, and he followed. Lucas stood smiling smugly against the counter as she scowled and went in the bathroom. He laughed, and Collin looked at him. “You’re pushing it,” Collin snapped. “You better go tend to your wife, she’s going to be a lot of fun,” he said, and they heard her throw up. “Go get her man, unless you want me to go help her out.” She threw up again as Collin was walking towards Lucas. They walked out of the bathroom and Lucas smiled at her she looked worried, “It will be different this time.” Collin walked towards him. “I don’t want your wife man, but fuck up once, just once,” Lucas walked away. He slammed the door and heard Lucas yell, “FUCK!” “Collin can we leave, please?” “Yes, but we’ll come back for the Audi,” he glared at the direction Lucas had exited. “I need to stop at the store. And then home to grab some things.” “Alright I’ll go in, what do you need?” “No I will, alone.” “Fine,” he pulled in. “You better be nice to me, grumpy,” kissed him, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes.” He wondered if she was thinking of the cocky bastard, or if she was just angry at him and if she was why? He saw her come out and jumped out and opened the door for her. “Thank you.” She was confusing to him. They walked in the house, and he stopped and leaned down to kiss her. “Could you give me a minute?” He flopped down on the couch and threw himself back and pet Leia. Tessa walked in the bathroom. She opened up the bag and pulled out a pregnancy test, she even bought a different brand from the one Ben had bought for her. She didn’t want Collin and her pregnancy to be anything like her last one. She was scared and oddly took some comfort in what Lucas had said to her. When she finished, she set it on the counter and walked out and sat on the chair across from him and smiled. “Tessa, please get over here.” “Give me two more minutes,” she tried not to laugh, he was clearly concerned and confused, but soon enough he would feel that multiplied by a million. He stood up, grabbed her, and kissed her. She laughed and hugged him tightly. “Are you alright you're acting crazy,” he said. “Oh, are you men...um have your period?” “Do you want to come in the bathroom and find out for yourself,” she whispered in his ear. He looked at her oddly, “That won’t bother you?” She took off her shirt and turned and threw it at him and then her bra, he laughed. “Alright then,” he followed her in. She looked at the counter and started to cry. “What’s wrong?” he asked frustrated. “Not a thing.” Tessa looked over at the counter, and his eyes followed hers. It took him a good minute before he really understood what was going on and then he lit up. “Tessa, we’re going to have a baby!” he kissed her. Tessa laughed, shook her head yes and pulled his shirt off. “I’ve missed you very much,” she smiled as he wiped away her tears.
He was very calm compared to normal, but every bit as amazing. When they finished, she didn’t move. He smiled at her. “Are you ready for all this?” “Yes, as long as we figure out how to never go two weeks without each other again I’ll be fine. Right now, I’m tired. Do you mind if we lay down before we head to the hotel?” “I’m a little tired myself,” he grabbed a towel and wrapped her up. “That little bastard!” “Excuse me?” “Links, he knew, and after looking at the ladies I know how, they’ve grown,” he said shaking his head and bending down to kiss them. She laughed, “No it was the chicken. I got sick when I tried to eat chicken last time.” She could see his mind going crazy, “And that’s why he said it’ll be different?” “Yes, I guess so. I just hope he doesn’t tell anyone I want to wait until we are at least fourteen weeks.” “I’ll call him and tell him to keep his mouth shut.” “No,” she laughed “Unless you can do it nicely.” “Fine.” Tessa handed him the phone and saw his picture ID on it. It was of the two of them kissing. He looked at her, “This needs to go.” “Oh wow, yeah… I guess it does. You set up my phone,” she laughed. Jessie answered, “Hello this is Collin Abraham may I please speak to Lucas.” “Links this picture needs to go,” Jessie said handing him the phone. “Okay no problem. Tessa, am I right?” “This is Collin, yes, and we would like it to be kept quiet. I need to ask you how you knew?” Lucas laughed, “You really want to know?” “Yes.” “Alright but don’t act like an asshole about it, the girls were the first sign, then the chicken,” Lucas said trying not to laugh. “Just so you know Collin, she is going to be nasty at times, and you better be able to handle it, she doesn’t mean anything by it.” “Just so you know Links,” he looked at Tessa, and she scowled. “Go ahead man I’m all ears,” Lucas said antagonistically. “We appreciate you keeping it quiet,” he rolled his eyes at her. “It’s not for you it’s for her, she already lost one, and it nearly broke her, go easy on her,” he warned. “Hey, I hear we are going to be neighbors, do you hunt?” Lucas laughed. “No, but if you want to go with me I can make an exception,” Collin offered. Lucas laughed, “No thanks, but all the guys, her family, and friends get together the weekend before deer season. And since the camp burnt down, by the way, ask your wife about her incredibly stupid move that night, it’s at my house. You’re welcome to come, just trying to be neighborly. Tell Tessa she better cook still. Nice chat, Mr. Ross.” Lucas hung up laughing to himself. Tessa looked at him and laughed. “He’s very annoying,” Collin said. “Hard to hate him, huh?” she smiled. “No, not really,” he scowled. “I love you,” she kissed him. “What happened with the camp?” She told him, and he looked angry, “Don’t you ever put yourself at risk like that again Tessa, got it?” “Okay,” she hugged him. When she woke up, he was gone, she went down and took a shower. She walked out of the bathroom and he walked in and smiled.
“Where did you go?” “For a run,” he kissed her and grabbed her towel and walked into the bathroom. “Get in here.” “You’re very bossy,” he kissed her. “Collin stop please,” she said and grabbed a towel and wrapped herself up and threw up over the toilet. “Sorry, it’s going to be a long few weeks. We should have waited,” she said and threw up again. When she finished, she brushed her teeth and looked at him, “You’re mad at me?” “No, but if you wanted to wait you should have told me,” he said. She laughed, “I didn’t expect to feel this way again.” Tessa looked concerned, confused and scared, “What if it’s the same?” “Tessa, it’s not,” Collin hugged her “But you need to believe that, no stress, please.” *** Tessa and Collin walked into the garage at Lucas’s carrying in food. They made two trips. “Are you sure you made enough?” Alex asked. “I hope so,” Tessa hugged him and took the baby out of his arms “Remington — your first season. Hello, beautiful boy,” Tessa held him and kissed him. Collin watched her and she looked like she was in heaven. She walked around and talked to him and smiled and kissed him. She looked at Collin and smiled. “Your turn?” Collin took Remington and smiled he walked around and talked to him but more seriously than Tessa did. He sat and held him against his chest and rubbed his back. Tessa sat next to them, “How does that feel?” “Very comfortable,” he looked relieved. She laughed and took Remington back. “It’s nice. How are you feeling today?” “Good actually,” she smiled at Remington. She heard him take a deep breath and looked up at him. “I’ve been neglecting you haven’t I?” “Shh,” he closed his eyes and sat back. “Hey, Phoebe we left some things at Mom and Dad’s. I think Remington’s getting hungry,” she said. “Come on Collin.” *** She jumped out of the SUV when he parked in front of the farm, and she ran in. She threw her shirt at him when he walked in, and he smiled. She grabbed his face and kissed him, and he pulled his shirt off. “Yummy,” she turned to run up the stairs and ran right into Ben. “Hey, Girl...or girls,” he hugged her. “Ben,” she laughed and grabbed a blanket. “You sure are happy to see me,” he laughed. Collin walked in and pulled Tessa’s shirt over her head. “You’re not, though,” he laughed. “Hey, Collin I’m assuming, I’m Tessa’s friend Ben and would like to personally thank you for getting her away from that asshole.” “You just won points Ben. I’ve missed your face,” she hugged him again. He saw Collin look down, and he laughed, “You didn’t. So you two want to take me up? I’m sure the three of us walking in would make his day.”
“I’m trying to be nice,” Collin looked at Tessa. “Great then you’ll have fun watching me piss him off,” Ben laughed. “It’s not my place anymore I can’t save your ass,” Tessa laughed, “Shit!” she sprinted to the bathroom… They heard her throw up, and Ben ran in and pulled her hair back and rubbed her back. “Already Tess?” Ben laughed. Collin cleared his throat, “I got this.” “Of course, when are you two expecting?” Ben asked. “She may just have a stomach bug,” Collin said rubbing her back. “Yeah, right she is throwing up, and the girls, well… they’re huge,” he laughed. Collin turned and looked at him. “Sorry, man they ran right into me,” Ben laughed. “Good God, Ben,” Tessa sat up, “Collin I’m sorry.” Ben laughed, “For what Tess, he’s a lucky guy. I’ll go out and give you a few minutes, but we need to get up there. Pull up your big girl pants Tess, it’s time to have some fun.” “Collin if you hate me I understand,” she stood up. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. She turned and looked at him, “Are you mad?” “No, but this is a bit overwhelming,” he hugged her. “We should go back to the Cape.” “Oh, we will, but I think your friend Ben is going to bounce off the walls if you don’t take him up there. And, by the way, I am pretty sure they put for better or for worse in the vows, for the Lucas’s and Ben’s in your life,” he hugged her. “I love you beautiful.” “I love you, thank you.” The three of them walked in, and Lucas shook his head and looked at Ryan. Ryan laughed and saw Collin looking less than enthusiastic about the situation. “Collin, are you having fun yet?” Jade laughed. “Yes,” he wrapped his arm around Tessa’s shoulder. “Hey, Ben welcome back,” Lucas said sarcastically. “Wow — you missed me?” Ben asked. Collin chuckled, and Tessa looked up at him, “See all the fun you missed as an adolescent over indulged teenager.” “Our’s will not act like this,” he kissed her. Alex and Ben were cleaning their guns, and Collin walked over and checked them out. “You should take them apart and do that.” “You like guns?” Ben asked.”Do you hunt?” “No, but he offered to make an exception to go out with me,” Lucas laughed and looked at Tessa and cocked his eyebrow. Collin smirked, and Tessa looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Well, if you two go out, I want to go too. Just so you know Links, I’m on his side.” “This is going to be a FUN weekend,” Lucas gave an exaggerated smile. “Not much different than field hockey games in high school,” Jade laughed. “Who wants to play cards? “ Tessa changed the subject and looked at Collin and smiled. “I do,” Ben and Lucas said at the same time. “Anyone else?” Tessa asked pleading with her eyes. “Alright, wonderful! Collin do you know how to play pitch?” “No,” he said. “Perfect you’re my partner,” she said, “and you two can play together.”
She laughed and hugged Collin, “I am going to explain the game, you… come here.” She explained the game and told him to just bid two if no one else had because she was pretty sure they would try to outdo him, “as if that were possible.” As they played Jade made sure Collin had a drink, Tessa refused, and Ben snickered. Lucas looked at him and scowled, Ben laughed and Tessa looked at Collin, who stared at her and drank. Tessa was right, and they won. “Best two out of three?” Lucas asked. “No, thank you,” Tessa said, “Collin are you ready to go?” “You can’t go yet,” Jade laughed, “How often do I get out with my husband? Drink with me Tessa.” “No, I can’t,” she said, and Jade gave her an odd look, “Do you see my husband? You’re getting him drunk.” “You’ll thank me for it tomorrow,” Jade laughed. She looked at him, and he motioned for her to come over. “Are you tired Tessa?” he pushed his forehead to hers and rubbed her face. “A little but at least I’m not sick.” “Sit with me?” he didn’t wait for an answer he pulled her on his lap. “Sure,” she laughed. “Is this too much for you?” “No, not something I think I could do every weekend,” he looked at her and kissed her, “Tessa don’t get up.” She wiggled her butt against his eyes closed briefly. “Why you did.” “Please just sit still and be quiet.” She fell asleep on his lap, and he lifted her legs up and sat back with her curled up on him. Collin sat and looked at her sleeping and smiled, all the girls noticed and were watching them. He nuzzled his nose into her hair and kissed her head. He closed his eyes and stayed that way for at least an hour. Lucas went into the house, and Ben chatted with Ryan. When she woke up, she smiled at him. “I fell asleep on you?” “Again.” “Would you like a drink or something to eat?” she asked. “I would love water, but I can get it. You sit here,” he got up, and she sat down. He came back and squatted in front of her. “You're going to eat something,” he handed her water. She drank, and he fed her tomatoes and carrots. He rubbed the carrot on her lips and laughed, “I can’t wait until you can keep something down.” “Me either,” she closed her eyes and hugged him. “I love you.” “I love you,” he sat next to her. “When do you think Jade is going to let us out of here? Maybe I can talk to Ryan now, and we can get out of here for a few days.” “I don’t think that is going to happen anytime this weekend,” Tessa saw Ryan shotgunning a beer. “I never understood that,” he shook his head. Tessa laughed. “You’ve done that haven’t you,” she shook her head yes. “Is my wife a lush?” he asked. “Only when she is pissed off at you,” Lucas said and smiled as he walked by. “Tessa are you ready?” Collin sneered. “Yes,” she smiled, “Keys, please.” “Should we ask Ben if he needs a ride back?” Collin asked. “Probably.” Ben declined he was having too much fun messing with Luke. But said he would call if he had to leave
because he kicked Lucas’s ass like last time he was at the house and he said it loudly. “Collin… I feel awful that those two know and my family doesn’t.” “Well good — I thought it was odd that you were alright with that myself,” he smiled and kissed her. “Why didn’t you say something?” “Tessa, you have been sick for a week, I wasn’t going to upset you,” he admitted. “They’re all here now,” she smiled. “Will you?” “Yeah, but first I need to tell you after tonight and seeing how much this tradition means to you, I want to build a camp because this is incredibly uncomfortable. We can pick a spot alright?” She kissed him again, “Of course.” She turned off the radio and smiled at him. “Excuse me,” he cleared his voice. “Tessa and I have an announcement to make; it will only take a minute.” Everyone was quiet. “We wanted to let you all in on a little secret, that was kind of brought to light a week ago. It was our intention to wait awhile. However, two young men actually figured it out without being told. One actually knew before we did, thank you, Lucas. It seems that my wife’s breast are as fascinating to them as they are to me. By the way, they are mine now.” Everyone laughed and Tessa looked up at him, he wasn’t joking. “We feel it’s a bit early but want those closest to Tessa, and now me to know that we’re expecting a baby in about eight months.” He looked at her and smiled as everyone clapped. “You do know we aren’t getting out of here anytime soon now right?” He said as everyone came to congratulate them. “I knew something was up” Jade hugged her and poked Collin in the chest. “I’m pissed you didn’t tell me first.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN They met with Ryan and went over the blueprints. “Why the rooms in the basement, if you don’t mind me asking? You could save a lot of money and finish it later if you left them out.” “Thanks, but we will need them. It’ll be less of a mess if you do just do it all now. I would prefer not to deal with that in the months to come,” Collin said. “How long do you think this will take?” “I know it could be done when you want it to be. But it will cost a lot more in labor for overtime and extra laborers,” Ryan told him. “On this project, time sets precedence over money. Any future projects it will be different,” Collin told him. Tessa knew Collin would not ever be able to truly let his past lie. How could he? The hell he lived would forever be a scar buried deep inside of him. But it molded the man he was today, her love, her life. Whatever it took to make him feel safe and in control, whatever he needed she would support him one hundred percent. They left for the Cape the next day, Leia’s first flight. They walked into his house, and he carried her over the threshold. She laughed. “Are you still feeling alright?” She knew he was excited to be alone in a place where the walls didn’t talk. “Actually, I’m a little tired but very very hungry,” she looked down. “You don't have to do that Tessa,” he said quietly. “That wasn’t very convincing,” she pushed him down and smiled at him. She knelt down. “You want to take off your shirt, please?” She did and took his off too. “How about that bra?” he smiled. She did and shook her head. “Beautiful,” he said and grabbed her gently. She knelt back down. “You might better take those off too,” he said breathing deeply. “Collin you might want to sit back, shut up, and enjoy.” “God Tessa” he growled as she slowly took him into her mouth. She started slow and gradually moved faster until he finally released. “Do you know how much I love you?” “Probably more now, huh?” she laughed. *** She spent her days trying to get funding for the health program that his company ran. He hadn’t traveled since Ecuador but knew after the holidays they would be going back to South America and Tessa was excited about it. He was concerned but only because she was still very tired. He’d talked about staying in a resort and traveling with her every few days. It made her angry that he was trying to coddle her, and she had even threatened to go back to work. He was writing another research paper and every night when she fell asleep he would go back and work on the security details for a few hours. She didn’t ask a lot about that part of his work, and he
certainly didn’t volunteer any information. She would do better to see it and understand. He knew that it was going to freak her out especially since on opening day of deer season she watched Bambi and cried. They spent their evenings loving each other, every evening they ate dinner and made love. The nights that he wanted to make love before dinner were her favorite she knew he would be a little less gentle and reserved. She knew it bothered him that she was pregnant, and he was worried he may hurt the baby she tried to reassure him that it would not. Tessa’s pregnancy was a dream; he was as excited as she was. He read to her belly, and he played classical music while they slept. At first it drove her absolutely crazy; she even bought ear plugs and hid them with her hair. He woke up one night, a sneak attack as she called them, and as his hands rubbed her body, he kissed her ear and felt them. He quickly turned on the light thinking something was wrong, and he saw them and laughed. She had hidden it for weeks. The next few nights she made up words that were very inappropriate to try to make him turn it off, but it had quite the opposite effect. They were so happy, no nights that she laid awake hurt, no ever feeling that he wanted anyone but her, and she didn’t wonder when this would end. She knew they would be together forever. Sometimes she thought about Lucas, just brief moments when she wondered if she had just given up on her dreams and followed him around would they have been this happy. She knew she wouldn’t, but he might be and she would forever carry that burden. She knew he was alright. And beyond a shadow of a doubt: Tessa was in love with her husband. She didn’t want to be touched or loved by anyone else ever in her life, he was the sun and the moon and every heavenly piece in between. He was the person she wanted to share every secret dream and desire with. They had fun and laughed together every day. The sex was mind blowing, but she finally realized that it wasn’t all about sex. Good sex comes from a good connection. When you are full — truly filled with the knowledge of your partner, trust, and respect, you really could not ever go wrong. Tessa even considered breaking her rules after the baby was born. She would deny him nothing ever, and she knew he felt the same. The house was finished a week before they had expected. Collin didn’t tell Tessa, he wanted to get the furniture moved in before she saw it. He had watched her for weeks go through magazines and websites finding what she liked. He had ordered the things she had revisited and seemed especially fond of. The living room furniture was large and perfect for family movie nights; he had other ideas for them before that happened. She didn’t want individual pieces she preferred that they all be able to snuggle together as they relaxed, knowing it would not be very often. She’d picked out a bedroom set, a plain low setting platform bed, he had other ideas for that as well, and since she had only said it once, he would be picking it out. *** They pulled into town, and she was excited to see her family and to see what was left to do. No one was at the farmhouse, and they dropped Leia off. “Where do you want to go first, Tessa?” he asked holding her hand. “Our bedroom floor,” she said and raised her eyebrow at him. “Okay, our bedroom floor it is, should we maybe stop and get some blankets?” he asked. “No, but could you drive faster?” She asked and reached down and rubbed his leg. “Yeah,” he growled and moved her hand up further. He stopped at the top of the driveway. “Do you trust me?” he asked pulling a blindfold out of his pocket. “Not only do I trust you, but I really like how you think,” she giggled. He punched in the code and picked her up. “You ready?” he asked. “Collin open the door,” she laughed.
He removed the blindfold, and she was in shock. “What? How? Oh, how beautiful” she kissed him. He set her down, and they held hands as they walked into their house. She had seen the rooms before but not painted, and the kitchen was so bare before and there were the curtains she loved. She felt tears running down her face, and she could feel him watching her. She opened the cupboards that were full, and she smiled. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of sparkling cider and took two wine glasses from the rack that hung under the cabinets. He poured two glasses and took them in one hand and her hand in the other and walked into the family room. She smiled and wiped tears as she saw the furniture and all the things she had dreamed they would someday have, right down to the throw pillows she had wanted to lay on the large sectional. The dining room and living room were no different; everything she had looked at for the past two months was here, in their home. He noticed everything, paid attention to what she loved, the simple things she had mentioned. She had never felt so loved in her life. He was amazing. He led her up the stairs, and she took a deep breath and wiped more tears. “Now here’s where I hope I don’t ever disappoint you,” he smiled. He opened the double doors to the master suite. “I know it’s not what you picked out Tessa, but I thought it would be perfect for us,” he kissed her. She walked around the massive bed; it had four posts that nearly reached the top of the cathedral ceilings. There was a television and a chase lounge and two nightstands with lamps. He set the glasses down on the nightstand and took her into the closet; it was almost as big as the bedroom she had shared with her sisters. It held wall to wall shelves and drawers and racks to hang clothes on and put shoes in. Not only that, but he had new clothes hanging and in the drawers. “Come with me,” he said softly and they went into the bathroom which he had designed. There was a shower that sprayed jets everywhere, she smiled as she remembered their first shower together and he did too. “We have warm water,” he kissed her hand. “I don’t even know where to start Collin.” “How about the bedroom floor?” He grabbed the glasses and sat down on the floor, and she joined him. He handed her one, “Tessa to you, my first and last kiss.” They toasted and drank. She got up to set the glasses down, and he smiled, “The floor or the bed?” “The bed please,” she said and climbed up in it. He pulled her pants down and took her underwear with his teeth, he gently kissed between her legs and she squirmed. He kissed her belly and cringed, “Collin seriously!” Tessa laughed, and he raised his eyebrow, “Keep going.” He lifted her shirt, “Damn Tessa they are absolutely amazing!” He licked her nipples and blew on them lightly she moaned, and he took one in his mouth. His hand was busy, and his mouth full and she was already on fire. “Please take those clothes off I want to touch you” he did as she asked. She pushed him over and slowly raised his arms above his head as she moved her hips until she found exactly what she wanted. She smiled and sat up slowly and moved her hips in circles until he was deep inside her. “Sit back and enjoy,” she smiled. He put his hands behind his head and looked up at her, his eyes were heavy and full of desire. She reached over and grabbed her phone out of her pants pocket as she moved. She closed her eyes and played with her phone until it was on camera. She arched her back and grabbed one of her breasts and
moaned. He pushed into her, and she smiled continuing to move in a circular motion but faster. “Tessa,” he moaned, anticipating his needs she moved faster. She moved back and forth faster and with more force and he opened his mouth and eyes and moaned as his nostrils flared and she snapped a picture and smiled. He laughed and grabbed for the phone, and she moved faster and he laid back, she quickly turned around so that her back was facing him and he grabbed her hips and guided her. She arched her back and cried out. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her and followed. He pulled her back to him and she rolled over and they held each other. She stood up and went into the bathroom. She washed her hands and looked at the ground there was a scale. She stood on it and gasped. “Did you do this on purpose?” she yelled. He walked in, “What Tessa?” “This,” she kicked the scale. “Damn it,” she said and grabbed her foot. He watched her amused. “Did you hurt yourself?” “Yes! Get that damn thing out of here,” she stormed out. She walked by and went in the closet and grabbed one of his sweatshirts and a pair of underwear. He walked in rubbing his head with one hand and the scale was in the other. “Tessa you want this…” “Throw it out,” she climbed in bed. She fell asleep. When she woke, he was holding her. “Are you hungry?” “Very funny,” she huffed. “Tessa, what is going on?” “Collin don’t play stupid, you’re not, so don’t. The scale, you don’t have a scale at your house. If you think I am getting fat — fill me in don’t have a scale, subtle pisses me off!” she yelled and got up and walked into the bathroom. He sat there and shook his head and had no idea what to say. He stood up and opened the bathroom door, and she was sitting on the floor angry. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, “Tessa you’re beautiful, I had a scale at my, our place on the Cape, and it broke. I don’t think you’re fat, I think you’re beautiful. By the way,” he said putting his arm around her, “when you’re pregnant you are supposed to gain weight.” “Has my ass gotten bigger?” She asked looking down “What?” he smiled. “It did last time, Lucas told me my ass had grown, so is my ass bigger?” “Oh, so because he made you feel insecure it… no Tessa your ass has not gotten bigger, but Lucas is a big ass! We’re probably going to have company soon so would you get your beautiful ass up and stop being ridiculous.” “He wasn’t being an ass Collin… he liked it bigger, he wanted it,” she said and stood up. “I was asking you to tell me if you put the scale in here so that I’d realize I was getting fat.” “Tessa I’m unsure of how you expect me to react to that news or confessional or hint that you may be missing Lucas and all the fun he was! I’m borderline pissed off right now, and we just got here three hours ago.” She jumped up and yelled, “You started this, I don’t miss him, and you’re an asshole.” He turned around and walked up and grabbed her. “I bought a scale Tessa, I bought many things, for you and your being …God,” he walked away. “Don’t do that!” she sat down and cried. He turned and looked at her took a deep breath and calmly asked, “Don’t do what Tessa?” “Don’t be mad at me, please don’t be mad at me,” she said and cried.
He reached down and pulled her up, “Why? You’re mad at me.” He walked her into their room, and she sat on the bed. “No, I’m pregnant and fat and tired, and I am being a mean nasty bitch,” she threw herself back, “I’m sorry I suck!” He smiled and lay down next to her and put his arm around her. “You’re not fat, I’m sure you’re tired, and don’t ever be sorry that you suck, I kind of like that about you,” Collin kissed her. “Collin I’ve gained twelve pounds.” “And do you know what tomorrow is Tessa?” he held her hand. “No,” she pouted and kicked her foot. “Our three-month anniversary. Our first full day in our house. Your doctor appointment,” he said rubbing her belly, “and you’re going to be in your second trimester. Life is good, it is better than good, it is perfect.” “I’m sorry, everything you did and I’m acting horrible. I’m sorry,” she rolled into him and kissed him and sat up. “Can we try this again?” “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” That night her family and all the kids showed up, they brought Leia with them. They were amazed by what he had done to surprise her. She stayed glued to Collins side feeling very ashamed of how she had acted. He knew she felt bad and enjoyed the making up part. *** “We have some lab results that concern me; your HCG is very elevated so we would like to do an ultrasound to see exactly what is going on in there.” Tessa lay on the table and watched the screen and smiled and looked at Collin, who seemed a cross between confused and concerned. “Does everything look alright?” “Yes,” Tessa laughed and looked at the radiologist. “Please tell me I’m not seeing things.” “No, you’re not, there are two.” Tessa looked at Collin and smiled, “Are you going to be okay?” “Yes, actually that’s great,” Collin held and caressed her hand. The doctor told them what to expect and that all the measurements looked great. They could find out the sex in eight weeks and that she should expect monthly appointments. Collin asked a lot of questions about activity and travel. The doctor okayed their travel plans but told them at five months he would prefer she stay close to home, they could resume their normal activities unless it became uncomfortable. Tessa laid smiling and rubbed her slightly larger belly, he watched her and smiled. She didn’t seem concerned at all, which made his worries go away. They went out to lunch and did some shopping. When they got home, she walked into the room that was next to theirs, the nursery. She brought a pencil and paper and started to sketch how the room would look with two cribs. He walked in and sat on the floor behind her and pulled her up against him. She laid back and reached up and ran her hands through his hair. He kissed her neck. “Do you have it all figured out yet?” “No, not until we find out what they are,” she said. “How about you? Are you overwhelmed by this?” “No, actually you seem happy, quiet but happy. I’m sure everything is going to be fine, better than fine,” he kissed her again, “Are you sure you still want to go to Nicaragua?” “Yes, if you’re going — so am I,” she laughed. “Do you think we should make some calls and let your family know our news?” he asked. “What do you think?” she turned to look at him.
“That’s up to you. I just think they may be a little more concerned with our travel plans. Maybe we could keep it between us until we’re there?” he said hoping she wouldn’t get angry. “I agree,” she said “not just because of them but because this is perfect and beautiful, and I want to keep it for us to enjoy for now.” *** They hosted Christmas at their house, and she wondered how different this must be for him than his past Christmas’. He didn’t talk about his past that much and indulged her overzealous ideas of what Christmas should be. He flew to the Cape for two days, and she stayed home. They would be leaving on January third for South America, and she wanted to spend as much time with her family as she could before they left. He was going to be busy and preferred her be surrounded by them than alone. *** She walked into Jades and Ryan’s and started to cry. “Tessa what is going on?” Jade hugged her. “I love my husband Jade with everything I am, but I miss Lucas. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve felt guilty about being happy since we went to camp at his house. I don’t know how he felt about us being there but a few hours ago it hit me that it was incredibly insensitive and… what a bitch I am!” “Tessa I don’t think we should talk about this right now,” Jade whispered as she soothed her. “Why Jade? I couldn’t sleep last night wondering if he was happy and okay and I should hate him, but I don’t. I miss him so much,” she cried. “Well, that’s silly” she heard from over her shoulder. “You could always call and ask yourself.” Tessa froze and looked up at Jade, “Shit.” Lucas laughed. She felt him sit down next to her and ruffled her hair. “I need to go, sorry,” Tessa stood up. “Oh no, you don’t, have a seat,” Lucas pulled her down. “Look — this isn’t what I came here for and I’m sorry,” she said wiping her face. “Tessa it’s perfectly normal to miss someone you spent so much of your life with,” Jade said. “It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. And the fact that you never ask is far more than I can say for Lucas.” She said and laughed. “He misses you too, Tessa.” “Nice Jade,” Lucas snapped. “But he knows you’re happy and safe and married and pregnant… holy shit you’re getting big already.” “Thanks for pointing that out Jade,” Tessa wiped her face and still hadn’t turned to look at him. “Yeah, I wouldn’t do that she gets pissed,” Lucas laughed. “How is everything going? You’re just past the scary part right?” “Yes and things are perfect, the house, the pregnancy, my husband, my sex life, my work, everything is perfect,” Tessa stomped her foot. Lucas and Jade laughed. “So what’s the problem? You miss being treated like shit?” he asked. “No Lucas, not at all. I miss knowing you’re okay,” Tessa turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m great. My sex life, however, hasn’t been the same in quite some time,” he laughed. Tessa scowled at him, “Did I say something wrong?” “No, you asshole, I’m concerned about everything else,” she said. “You, your family, whether or not you have found someone who loves you and if you have, I don’t know if you’re happy. Jessie wasn’t at
camp, and I don’t want you to be lonely.” “You can come on over any time you think I’m lonely, Tessa,” he laughed. “I am better than I was when you first met me,” Lucas hugged her and she finally let out a breath. She laughed “How are the girls and your parents and Audrianna?” “Pretty perfect,” Lucas smiled, “Thanks for asking.” “Okay, I need to go,” she stood up. “You feel better?” Lucas asked. “Yes in a way, but I feel bad for all of this and I know it’ll probably hurt him.” “Don’t tell him it’s not a big deal,” Lucas shook his head from side to side. “We can have secrets Tessa, you and I. It’s not like I dragged you upstairs and fu…” “Lucas!” “What?” he smirked. “We share everything even the not so pleasant things, and I know I would be so angry with him,” she shook her head. “Do you know all about his past relationships Tessa?” he asked. “I don’t need to; I know that he would never cheat on me. I know that I trust him one hundred percent. He’s amazing,” she said. “Then why do you miss me Tessa?” he asked looking at her. “Because I’m fucking stupid,” she said and walked out. *** Collin came home, and she was waiting in their bed. “I’ve missed you,” she said. “I see that, the feeling is absolutely mutual,” he said as he took his tie off and slipped out of his clothes. “You look beautiful.” He kissed her belly, “Daddy’s home, babies.” She pushed him down and went down on him. He sat back and smiled, he twisted her hair and pulled it to the side and gently guided her head. “You’re amazing, I don’t deserve you,” he moaned and laid back and enjoyed every moment when he finished he sat up and looked at her “What’s wrong beautiful?” he hugged her. “I have to tell you something, and I think you’re going to be angry.” “I could never be angry at you. Alright tell me,” he smiled. She told him every detail about her going over to Jades. He stood up without saying a word and walked into the bathroom and showered. He walked out and dressed quickly “I’ll be back. Then we can figure out what we are going to do about this mess that you seem to be trying to make.” “Where are you going?” she yelled. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Fine, just like I have no clue about your past relationships, and you know everything about me, and you’re pissed? At least I tell you!” she yelled. “And I trust you enough to go leave for day’s even weeks without knowing anything.” “Maybe that’s because I have nothing to hide Tessa, but you obviously have some nasty deep unresolved feelings, WIFE!” he yelled and walked out. She heard him tear down the driveway and she called Jade, again worried about Lucas. “Ryan is there but Tessa… you need to stop. He loves you, and you love him, Lucas is fine if he ever needed you I will promise I’ll let you know. But don’t ruin this,” Jade said.
Tessa packed a bag and texted Collin. - I Love you, I’m sorry, I’m going to stay at my parents for a couple of days. This is your home, and I know you have a lot to do before the trip. I don’t know what else to say Collin, except that I love you… Tessa She walked in the door with Leia, and no one was home, she went upstairs and fell asleep. He pulled into the driveway and walked in the house. Leia didn’t greet him, and Tessa didn’t answer his text. He knew she was trying to be honest and open with him and she was right that she knew nothing about his past. But there really was nothing to tell: he was never in love before her, and he had never cared for anyone else besides his family and Lou. He needed to see her. He sat on the bed and sent her a message. He heard her phone, it was on the bed. He picked it up and saw the picture she had taken of him while she sat on top of him. *** She woke up and went to the bathroom. When she walked out Collin was standing there. She did her best to not cry. “You left your phone on the bed,” Collin handed it to her. “Thank you” she took it, and her lip started to quiver. “You need to come home.” “No.” “Tessa you hurt me, I reacted badly. Come home.” “Do you still love me?” “Of course!” “Are you still mad?” “Yes,” he admitted. “Then I want to give you your space,” she walked by and upstairs. He stood not knowing what to do. He walked into her room. “Now I’m pissed, and if you don’t come home Tessa…” he shook his head. “What Collin?” she snapped at him. “It will break me,” he walked out. *** Tessa heard him pull out and got up and dressed, and went home. He wasn’t there. She went and grabbed blankets and a pillow and lay on the nursery floor snuggled up with Leia and fell asleep. She woke up to him picking her up, and he carried her to their room. “Collin I’m sorry.” “I know,” he covered her up and started walking out the door. “Please don’t go,” she said. He stopped and took a deep breath and walked back and looked at her. He sat on the bed and lay back, crossing his arms over his chest. She rolled over and hugged him. He didn’t move, and she took his arms and wrapped them around her and fell asleep. When she woke he was in the shower, and she got in with him. “Good morning.” “Good morning,” he quickly got out. After her shower she went down and made breakfast. She walked in office and handed him a plate.
“Thank you.” She sat at her desk across from his and worked on some more funding applications. She checked her email and sent another asking the World Health Organization to be considered as a grant recipient. She walked out and got a drink and grabbed him a glass of water. She gave it to him, and he thanked her. Her phone rang, and it was Phoebe. “Sure, can you bring him here?” Tessa hung up the phone and stood to walk out. “Phoebe has a doctor appointment, and Remington is coming to visit for a couple hours.” “Alright,” he said without looking up. *** Tessa danced, sang, and played on the floor with Remington. She made lunch with him in her arms and brought Collin his. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome,” she said in a mocking tone. She walked away, and he watched her. When he was finished, he brought out the dishes and set them in the sink. She was on the couch holding Remington and falling asleep with him on her chest. Collin stood and watched them she looked up, “You're tired, let me take him, and you can rest.” “I’m not going to see him for a few weeks, I want to hold him, you can sit with us if you want,” she offered. “You’re not supposed to sleep holding a baby. I can take him.” “No, thank you, but I would love for you to sit with us, you know just in case I fall asleep,” she continued rubbing Remington’s back. He sat next to her, and she leaned her back against his arm. He didn’t move. She started dozing off, and he put his arm behind her and wrapped it around Remington. She lay back against his chest. “Okay, I am tired, you should take him,” she said. “I’ve got him, go to sleep,” looked down at her briefly He moved his leg behind her so that she was laying on him and his hand held Remington’s back. “I’m sorry Collin.” Phoebe came in and took a picture “Don’t wake her up. How’s she doing?” “She and the babies are good,” he said looking down at her. “What did you just say?” Phoebe gasped. “Nothing… I was supposed to, damn it,” he said, and she laughed. “I talked to Jade yesterday. I know what happened, and it was not her intention to hurt you Collin. She loves you, and I can promise you she doesn’t like to hurt anyone especially you. She just needs to figure out how to not care so much. But between you and I, I hope she doesn’t change who she is. I don’t think anyone of us would love her half as much. Has she told you about my past?” he shook his head no. “How about Ryan or Becca or Lucas?” “Some I guess,” he said. “Probably about Lucas but not the rest of us. She always says it’s not my story to tell,” Phoebe smiled, “The entire time she was with him, and all the things that broke her heart, she didn’t stop being kind. She made Alex promise to be nice, not because she wanted Lucas back but because she wanted him to have love in his life. All the things she went through she chose, not to burden anyone with because she didn’t want to share her hurt with anyone. She’s strong Collin, but not invincible. She tells you everything: her thoughts, her feelings, and when she feels she’s screwed up. That is a first for her. My father shot my
mother and then himself in front of me, I moved from foster home to abusive foster home until I came here. She never told her brother about the problems I had until I was ready to do it myself. She’s loyal and as trustworthy as they come. Don’t be mad at her, or piss on her leg marking her as yours, by the way Lucas actually did that. Be her partner, her friend, her protector, whatever, but accept her for who she is because I know she’s pretty wonderful.” Tessa started to move and opened her eyes and stretched sitting up. “Hey Phoebe, Alex was right about the superior genetics thing he’s so smart and so perfect,” she laughed, “So how long was I out?” “Not long,” Phoebe said and hugged her. “Long enough for me to screw up though.” “Why what happened?” Tessa asked concerned. “I told Phoebe that you and the babies were doing great,” he looked down. “I won’t tell,” Phoebe hugged her. “I know, I love you.” “What are you two doing tomorrow night for New Year’s Eve?” Phoebe asked. “I haven’t even thought about it, we always just…” she stopped. “It’s Lucas’s birthday,” Phoebe said. “So we’ve always celebrated both.” “Well, time to make new traditions,” Tessa smiled at Phoebe. “Why don’t we think about it and call you later. I think he’s going to wake up and want some of his Mommy's juice,” she got up and walked them out and carried the diaper bag to the car. She walked into the house and started cleaning up the kitchen. “I wish you would let me get someone to come in and take care of the house,” Collin said. “No, thank you, it took five minutes I think I can manage. Besides it gives me something to do other than walk around here feeling like,” she stopped and walked passed him. “Never mind.” She sat at her desk and read her emails and smiled. “You look pleased,” he walked over and looked over her shoulder. “I am, I’ve been working on this for a month. I will forward it to you.” Tessa typed a response and hit send. She stood up and smiled and walked out the door. She was sweeping the entry when he came out. “Tessa that’s amazing do you know how many people you just helped by getting that grant? I’m not just talking about our upcoming trip I am talking about the next year. We have tried for years to get this, congratulations,” he hugged her. “Thank you,” she said and pulled away, “I’m very persistent.” He took a deep breath and watched her wash off the counters. “Where did you put the scales?” He laughed, “In the garage, why?” “I want them back,” she went out to find them. “I will get them for you,” he said following her. “No, I can do it myself,” she climbed up and grabbed them. She got down refusing his hand and walked into the house and up the stairs. She stood on the scales and was relieved that she had only gained a pound more. He stood in the bedroom, “Are you going to nap?” “Are you going to stop following me around being…? I don’t know, helpful,” she yelled and then laughed. “No.” “Then yes, I’m going to sleep so that I don’t have to look at you and feel like shit about stupid
hormonal concerns,” she pulled the covers over her head. “Tessa,” he said as he climbed in. “I don’t understand all these feelings. But I know I’ve made you feel bad for a couple days now, and I’m sorry for that.” “Collin… for someone so brilliant, you’re being an idiot. You understand feelings. You took care of a monster for years because you felt obligated. You loved your brother and sister enough to kill for them. You say and show me you love me all the time, well… the past two days haven’t been all that perfect, but better than I’m used to. So really… can you not understand why the person I lived with for four years that I planned to marry still means enough to me to have a concern for? God — if we get divorced do you think I won’t care what happens to you?” she said. “I need to sleep, I’m sure that these babies have enough to deal with right now. I need them happy and I’m happy when I sleep.” “This was an apology Tessa, not a way to make you feel worse. Again I’m sorry, but before you go to sleep I want you to know that I had no intentions of divorcing you, I have no idea why that was even brought into this.” “I don’t want a divorce — I love you,” she said. He lay down next to her and held her. “I’m not going anywhere, this has to stop, I love you, go to sleep.” She turned over and wrapped her arms around him. “Please just tell me what you need from me. Tell me, so I don’t mess this up.” “I need you to be you: the person I love and I need you to continue talking to me about everything, regardless of what it is. We’re married and we love each other, and I don’t want you to change. I just want you to be a little less — angry.” She cuddled up to him and put her hand up his shirt and on his heart and fell asleep. Tessa woke to him rubbing her back and a flutter in her belly, she laughed. “They’re moving,” she said rolling over and taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. “Do you feel that Collin? Our babies are moving,” she laughed. He rolled over to his side and smiled. “I do, they like you happy and rested. And so do I,” he said with a hint of relief in his voice. He pulled up her shirt and kissed her belly. “Hello babies, this is your daddy I hope everything is going well in there.” “Maybe you should check it out,” she smiled. “Tessa, if they are moving, don’t you think they will feel, well us moving?” he said nervously. “If you seriously think they will remember your nuts,” she laughed. “If you think I’m going to wait six months for that you’re crazy.” “It kind of freaks me out,” he laughed. “Fine go buy me toys then.” She said and rolled over and smirked. “Are you serious?” “Maybe.” “In the past few days you have mentioned your beautiful ass and now toys, am I missing something here? Is that something you want?” he said, “Or are you trying to drive me over the edge?” “I’m definitely trying to drive you over the edge,” she sat up and looked at him smiling and then laughed, “I have to look at you every day… the least you could do is put out.” “Beg,” he smiled. “Nope,” she said stubbornly. “You will be,” he stood up and undressed. “I’m going to shower.” “Fine have fun in there,” she said.”Would you do me a favor first?” “Sure,” he looked at her. “These need to be washed for some reason they are a bit damp,” she said taking off her clothes and
threw her underwear at him. “Really?” he asked and tried not to look at her as his jaw tightened. “Yes but I can do it, sorry I shouldn’t have asked,” she bent down in front of him and grabbed her clothes. “Get in bed Tessa,” he said in a very husky voice “What Collin?” she laughed. She grabbed the clothes and his and any other piece that would give her an excuse to bend down and grab and walked to the laundry and threw the clothes in the washer. “Hey, do you want a drink?” She yelled as she passed the bedroom. “No, could you get in here?” “No, I’m hungry. Take your shower.” He looked out the door as she streaked down the stairs. He walked down after her, she bent over in the refrigerator and grabbed some items and then she grabbed ice cream out of the freezer. “Hey, would you like a sundae,” she asked, he slowly shook his head no. She scooped ice cream and put in a bowl and took the whipped cream with her, “Let's watch TV we never do that.” She sat on the couch and grabbed a blanket and patted the spot next to her. He sat, and she handed him a spoon, “Eat with me?” She grabbed the whipped cream and put some on the ice cream and smeared some on his nose and kissed it off. He took the whipped cream and squirted it on her breasts and sucked it off. She smiled and took it from him and squirted it on his very hard erection and went down. He set the ice cream on the floor and pulled away from her. “Oh no, as good as that feels I owe you,” he laid her on her back and they made love. He more than made up for the past two days that he had not touched her. “So what do you want to do tomorrow night?” she asked “More of that,” he smiled. “But we can go out to dinner with your family if you want.” “Okay, but then back here — just us?” “Sounds perfect,” he kissed her. Collin and Tessa walked into the lakeside restaurant just outside of town. They ate their appetizers and talked about the upcoming year and how things had changed. There was a string quartet playing and some people were dancing, Tessa was amused by this, and he made her dance. She laughed when he’d pointed out there were no words and she started making up her own. “Unless you want to skip dinner, you better stop that now,” he laughed. Tessa’s brothers and sisters came out to join them. Collin went and sat down next to John and Maggie, who watched their kids acting foolishly and they all laughed. They were doing the monkey, and the electric slide, the Macarena, and the swim, not one move matched the music, and they didn’t care. Dinner came, and they all went and sat down. The place was filling up: it was ten o’clock. The hostess brought a couple to sit at the table next to them. Collin and Tessa were busy laughing and talking. They were lost in each other. “Hello, Ross family,” Lucas smiled. They all said hello. “Happy birthday, Lucas,” Tessa said. “Thanks, Tessa. I want you guys to meet Ashley.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Lucas looked at Tessa and held up four fingers, and she laughed. “Nice to meet you Ashley, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Tessa stood and shook her hand. “I feel like I already know you, the Links family seem to think they have you to thank for Lucas becoming who he is,” Ashley smiled. “I don’t think so, he’s a good guy. And I’m not just saying that because we didn’t send him a card,” Tessa laughed and squeezed Collins, hand. “Congratulations on your marriage, Landon won’t admit it, but I think he likes your husband, Collin right?” she asked. “Yes pleased to meet you,” he stood and shook her hand. Lucas smirked at Tessa. “Have a great night,” Lucas smiled. “Lucas, if you two want to join us feel free,” John offered. “Thanks, John, we’re going to let you guys eat though, we haven’t ordered yet,” Lucas smiled. “Well, stop over tomorrow, both of you… we’re all going to be there,” Maggie smiled. “Alright, we’ll definitely try,” Lucas said, and he and Ashley went to their table. “Maggie, Tessa, and Collin are having all of us over tomorrow dear,” John said. “Oh, my I forgot, I feel awful.” “Tessa are you alright with them coming over to our place?” Collin asked. “Only if you are,” she looked confused. Collin stood up and walked over to their table, “Lucas, we’re actually hosting dinner tomorrow at two, we would like it if both came over.” Lucas laughed and looked at him; Collin just looked back at him. “Oh, you’re serious. Is that okay with you, Ash?” Lucas asked. “Sure,” she smiled at Collin. “Alright thanks, Collin, we’ll be there, what should we bring?” Lucas asked. “Nothing Tessa and Maggie have it all covered. Enjoy your meal,” Collin walked away. *** They walked into the house, and Tessa smiled at him, “You surprised me tonight, Collin.” “It’s a New year,” he smiled. “Besides your mother looked like she was going to cry.” “Its eleven fifty Collin Abraham,” she took off her coat. “We have ten minutes to be up in that big old bed.” “I’ll meet you up there,” he smiled. He walked into the bedroom with two glasses of sparkling cider and sat them down. He and turned on the television and slipped his clothes off and got in bed. She wrapped herself around him and smiled, “I love you.” “You are going to love me more in five,” he said as he rubbed his hand lightly across her chest, “four,” he said moving to her stomach,” three,” he said as he rubbed between her legs gently “two” he positioned himself on top of her “One” he kissed her as he slowly moved into her. She smiled and moaned as they slowly met each other thrust for thrust. *** “Good morning beautiful,” he said kissing her, “I wanna show you something.”
“I would prefer feeling something,” she opened her eyes. “Damn it what’s with the clothes?” she laughed. “Come on,” he smiled as he held up her robe. They walked into the nursery, and he had two beautiful round canopy cribs set up in the middle of the room, both cherry wood draped in white. “Oh, Collin they’re beautiful,” she walked over and touched them, “They’re perfect.” Tessa hugged him tightly. “I am glad you like them, you know we leave in two days. I think you should tell your family. Phoebe already knows, I think it would make them almost as happy as we are,” Collin smiled. “I agree,” she kissed him. “I have never seen anything so beautiful, well besides their very handsome, no — hot, Daddy. The way they sit in the center of the room makes my heart smile. You know they’re going to be the center of our world, very symbolic.” “You’re the center of mine now, I hope you know that will never change, I love you. They will fit right perfectly into it.” *** Everything was ready and the family started rolling in. Lucas and Ashley walked in after the others got there. Lucas had a bag in his hand. Leia growled at Lucas, and he laughed. “Well, hello Dog… still mean as ever huh? This place is amazing, Ryan you do great work,” Lucas smiled. “Tessa did you decorate?” he asked. “She actually designed most of it,” Collin said. “Yes and he decorated it, Happy New Year, come in,” Tessa wore a long brown dress that showed her belly and it had grown. She noticed Lucas looking at it shocked, and she laughed, “Yes it’s big.” “It’s perfect,” Collin rubbed her belly. Ryan showed Lucas and Ashley around the house, and they all sat and ate. After dinner, they sat in the family room and talked. “We would like to thank you all for coming to our very first New Years Day party. Things will be a little different next year,” he said rubbing Tessa’s belly, “Each of you mean a lot to us. We would like to show you all something upstairs,” Collin winked at her and pulled out her chair, “Tessa you first.” They stood outside the door, and Tessa smiled at Collin. “Mom do you want to open the door?” They all walked around and smiled. “You’re having twins Tessa?” Maggie asked. “Yes we are, we can find out in a couple months what they are, but there are definitely two. Collin, are we going to find out?” she asked him. “That’s up to you” he smiled, “I already know.” “No, you don’t” she grinned, “It’s a surprise remember?” “No, I’m pretty sure,” he laughed. “Alex, do you have a guess?” Tessa asked and laughed. “I’m trying to forget that day,” Alex rolled his eyes *** They all walked downstairs, and Lucas grabbed the bag. “Collin, do you have a minute?” Lucas asked.
Collin and Lucas stood in the kitchen, and Ashley and Tessa looked at each other and laughed as they left the room. Lucas handed the bag to Collin; it had the two albums that she had made for him. “These don’t belong to me anymore.” Collin opened one and his eyes widened. “Thank you, Lucas.” “No problem. I have a favor to ask, I’m going to be moving to New Jersey for a while. I need to tell the Ross’s that I’m ready to sell the house. I want to tell your wife first. If you want to be there, that’s fine, but I would like to do this now.” *** Lucas asked Tessa if they could talk. They went into the living room, and he sat across from her. “I’m going to move to New Jersey,” he said her eyes widened. “Dad bid on some much bigger jobs in the city, and I need to be there. I’ll be selling the house. I’m going to tell your family so they can decide what they want to do.” “Okay,” she said and looked at him. “I asked your husband to let me tell you first.” “I know he told me you wanted to talk to me,” she said sadly. “What’s wrong?” “I ‘m going to miss you,” she said and tears formed in her eyes. “Now don’t do that, Tessa. You’ll get us both in trouble.” “Okay,” Tessa tried to control her breathing. “Does she make you happy?” “Yes very much so,” he looked down. “Good, I’m so glad,” she smiled. He knew she was being sincere. “Who would have thought Tessa, less than a year ago, I would have never guessed.” “I guess this is what was supposed to be.” “You think so?” Tessa nodded yes, “So is Ashley the one?” “It was different with her than the others. It was my way of dealing with my Daddy issues. You know… screwing his girlfriend’s baby sister,” he laughed. “But there was always a mutual respect.” She was smiling, “Good Lucas.” “Just weird, my Dad and her sister are married,” he laughed. “Maybe you should consider moving further south, I hear that’s acceptable in some parts south of the Mason- Dixon line,” she laughed. “Not funny ba…Tessa,” he smiled. “I’m just joking, I’m very happy for you. And, by the way, she didn’t even try to kick my ass, I think she is actually sane,” Tessa laughed “I bought land next to Ryan and Jade. If I have a family, I want them raised around here,” he told her. “That’s great, maybe our kids will be friends someday,” she laughed. “I’m sure they would be. I’m in no hurry, that kind of still scares me you know,” he said, “Four years ago today Tessa.” Tears immediately welled in her eyes, “I know Lucas. I’m sorry if this was hard for you today. God, I’m so sorry.” He wiped her tears, and she smiled, “You will make a great Daddy someday Lucas. You deserve that.” “Thanks, baby, who knows maybe you’ll have a girl and I’ll have a boy and…” he started.
“I’ll move far away,” they both laughed. “Or maybe I’ll have a boy, and you’ll have a girl. Have you met my husband?” “Okay, now it’s not so funny,” he looked at her and let out a deep breath. “I want you to know Lucas Links I will always love you like I do my family,” Tessa wiped tears away quickly. “I feel the same Tessa” he stood up and hugged her, “Your belly just kicked me.” “I think they were saying close enough,” she giggled. He grabbed her face and brushed her tears away, and she closed her eyes. “You ready to go back in there?” “I’ll be out in a minute okay?” she smiled. “You’re going to be okay?” “We’re both going to be fine, better than fine,” she smiled, “These hormones are kicking my ass I just need a few minutes. I’m going to the bathroom, be out in a minute.” Tessa walked into the bathroom and sat on the floor and cried. She was overwhelmed and didn’t want anyone too see her. She wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad. Her husband had been amazing. He invited them here today; she couldn’t possibly love him more. And Lucas, well… she knew she was right that they were meant to be friends. Regardless of what had gone on between them, she’d always love him – anyways. People break up every day and walk away, never looking back, but because of who Collin was and who she always knew Lucas could be, she had the love of her life and the boy who taught her how to be loved. It hurt her that he still felt the same pain she did, but she wouldn’t change it. He would be happy with Ashley and she prayed that they would be as happy as she and Collin were. There was a knock on the door, and she wiped her face as the door opened. Collin looked at her and shook his head. He walked in and shut the door. “Are you alright?” he asked and stood away from her. She blew out a breath and looked up at him, “Yes, no. Four years ago today I lost a baby.” “Is that what he wanted to say to you? He upset you on purpose?” Collin snapped. “No God no, I remember it. I wasn’t excited about my pregnancy with him until a few weeks before I lost the baby. He was happy and wonderful then, one of the few times,” she laughed. Collin looked confused, “He has lost a couple and one of his crazy ex- girlfriends had an abortion behind his back. He doesn’t think he deserves to be a father, Collin.” “He needs to leave; he shouldn’t be laying this on you. I’m done with being…” Collin was interrupted. “COLLIN it wasn’t him — it was me! I brought it up. He simply told me he was selling the house and that he was very happy with Ashley. I’m happy for him. He mentioned moving here and raising his family and well… I said he deserved to be a father, he’ll be a good father. He doesn’t believe he deserves it. He wasn’t looking for pity. It’s me damn it. I hate to see him hurt. Not just him, you, my family. I need people to be happy!” she yelled. He looked at her and took a deep breath, “Is this the pregnancy causing this emotional outburst?” Tessa laughed and wiped her eyes, “The emotional shit no, the outburst…possibly.” He smiled at her, “Okay, should we stay in here all night or do you think you can keep it together?” “You did NOT just say that to me?” Tessa snapped. “Yes I did,” he said looking at her. “Collin,” she sneered. “Beautiful crazy wife,” he growled. She tried not to laugh, and a smile spread across his face, “I’m not crazy.” “Okay,” he chuckled. “God, you drive me…” Tessa started.
“Where do I drive you?” he asked and stepped towards her and she crossed her arms, “Say it, Tessa.” She laughed and turned away from him. “Say it,” he said louder. “No,” she smiled. “I will then, CRAZY,” he grabbed her and turned her towards him and kissed her. “You’re not funny,” she pouted. “I’m,” he said and kissed her neck. “You're hot,” she laughed. “And I’m yours Tessa, always,” he kissed her again, “Even when you act like a crazy woman.” Tessa laughed, “And I’m yours.” He hugged her and kissed her, “Let’s go — Cybil.” She stood and scowled at him, he laughed and picked her up and set her gently on his shoulder. He opened the door and smacked her ass. Ashley stood waiting in the kitchen with Jade for the bathroom. Collin smiled when he saw them and slowly set Tessa on the ground. “If you smack my ass again…” Tessa started. “We have company Tessa,” Collin kissed the top of her head. “Well, I wasn’t going to tell them what I was going to have you do to my ass to make up for …” Collin covered her mouth. Jade laughed, and Tessa gasped. “Please excuse my wife she is kind of…” Collin began. “Crazy?” Jade laughed. Tessa took a deep breath and looked up at Collin, “Is my Dad standing back there, too?” Collin shook his head no. “Have we scared Alex again?” Tessa sighed. Collin smiled and shook his head no, “Just poor Ashley, who doesn’t know you like the rest of these people do. She probably really thinks you’re crazy now.” Tessa turned around and smiled widely, “Sorry.” “I wasn’t trying to listen to your conversation, but…” Ashley started. “You were very loud Tessa,” Jade laughed. “He loves you. I’m over the moon happy for him and you. I just worry and I know I should not, it’s not my place, sorry. I understand if you want to kick my ass, go ahead,” Tessa sighed. Lucas walked out into the kitchen, “Everything alright, Ash?” Ashley smiled and laughed, “Yes its fine thank you.” “Alright then I will be in here with Ryan, right in there, okay?” Lucas walked away. “He thinks we’re going to fight?” Ashley asked Tessa. “Yep,” Tessa yawned. Jade laughed, “You tired Tessa?” “God this has been an exhausting day,” Tessa closed her eyes. “For some reason, I feel like I should go in the other room as well, please don’t…over do it Tessa,” Collin kissed her and walked away giving Jade a look. “You want him to be happy. You think I am the one to do that?” Ashley smiled. “I do, and if that upsets or hurts you I’m sorry,” Tessa looked down. Ashley laughed, “Why would that upset me Tessa?” “I don’t know, but I’m not going to promise you ass play, in order for you to get over any stupid jealous notions that might be constructed in your head,” Tessa yawned again and giggled. “WHAT the HELL is going on in here?” Lucas laughed as he walked into the room
Jade, Ashley, and Tessa burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. The rest of the night, they all had fun. Ashley was just like her sister and Lucas and she seemed very comfortable together. Collin watched Tessa and knew she was alright. John decided to announce that he would be buying the house and Alex and Phoebe would move into the farm after his graduation. *** They laid in bed in each others arms. “Was all that too much for you Tessa?” Collin rubbed her back. “It was perfect, why, do you want to go again?” she kissed him. “Well, sure but I was talking about the Lucas situation.” He said looking in her eyes. “No,” she smiled. “I think it’s wonderful, she seems amazing, and he truly looks happy. I’m very happy for him. Are you alright?” “Let’s see your ex is moving and has someone else and your parents will be our neighbors, not him, yes I think it is a perfect start to the New Year,” he smiled. “I love you so much Collin, you’re more than I could ever dream possible.” “Well, they really weren’t all that big of shoes to fill.” Collin smiled. “Silly man, you never even had to worry. It almost makes me crazy that you even thought that way.” “This is still all new territory Tessa, your world is much different from what I’m used too,” he laughed. “But in two days, you’re going to see exactly what I mean. I just hope you can handle it.” “I can’t wait,” she moved on top of him and kissed him “But for now…”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN They walked onto the street, and he hailed a cab. Collin watched Tessa cautiously as she took in the scene. She was immediately surrounded by kids asking for food, and she reached into her purse and handed them all the money she had. “Tessa lets go,” he opened the door for her and slid in beside her. He gave the address to the driver, and they pulled into a gated resort just outside of town. “Collin what are we doing here, they need us, did you see them? They’re hungry and just children,” she started to tear up. “Tessa, it was a long day, we are going to eat and shower and rest, tomorrow we head up the mountain. But you can’t give them things like you did. There are people watching children like them. The kids take their money, and some of them watch for people like you. This isn’t like where you were raised. This wasn’t a good idea.” “Collin I’m sorry. I’ll do better,” she said knowing he was deeply concerned. They checked into the hotel and went to their room. “Is this alright?” he asked as she looked around. He could tell she was upset. “Yes it’s nice,” she sat on the edge of the bed, “Are you upset with me?” “No Tessa worried that this is going to be too much. Worried that you won’t say no and that bringing you here puts a target on your back” he laughed. “What I love about you most, may cause you to be in harm’s way. I just didn’t consider that before we came.” “Just tell me what to do. I can handle this I promise,” she panicked. “Let’s shower and go eat” he smiled and stroked her cheek. They showered together, and they both felt more relaxed after. “Thank You,” he wrapped a towel around her and kissed her neck. “No Mrs. Abraham, thank you.” “Anytime.” *** The next morning they left the comforts of the resort and headed up the dirt mountain trail. The ride was two hours, and he was worried that the heat and rough roads would be too much for her. “Here Tessa, drink please,” Collin opened another bottle of water and handed it to her. “Collin thank you, but I’m fine,” Tessa rubbed his hand. “It’s hot Tessa, please.” “Collin I see you’re concerned, and I truly love that. However, I’ve had three bottles of water, we’re on a very bumpy road and if I drink anymore, I may wet my shorts. So please,” Tessa laughed. “Do you need to use the…” he started. “Restroom?” she laughed, “No but the more you talk about it, the more I think about it and… I’m not thirsty. But Thank you, I’m going to try to sleep a bit okay?” “You’re tired? This is too much, I should…” Collin stopped talking and kissed her hand, “Sorry.” *** As they approached, and she saw the village surrounded by a fence with razor wire on top. “We're here.”
She looked around, and they pulled up to the heavily guarded gate. He jumped out and spoke with one of the guards who looked in the window. “Welcome Ma’am.” he said in a thick Latin accent. She smiled and looked at Collin. He winked at her and went inside the guard shack and came out with a bag. “You ready? She shook her head yes and watched as they opened the large gate. “Is all that necessary?” She whispered. “Yes.” She held tightly to his hand as they drove past steel buildings and then through another gated area leading to a large village. There were kids playing and people working in the fields surrounding the village. The truck came to a stop, and he got out. He opened the door for her, and she took a deep breath and stepped out. They walked into the first aid building, and she looked around. “How are you feeling?” he asked. She looked at him, “Overwhelmed, but ready to work.” “Okay… but I’d like to show you around. Are you up for it?” “I just sat in the truck for two hours,” she smiled and looked at him, “Are you up for it?” They walked around, and he showed her where the food and supplies were stored. He introduced her to Mick, who was in charge of the supplies. “Mick this is Tessa, my wife. She has full access, understood?” “Yes sir.” He showed her the rest of the village and introduced her to all the key contact people. Three hours later she looked tired. “You’re ready to rest?” “No, we can continue, but I do need a bathroom” she grabbed his hand. “Tessa, we should keep it professional while we’re here,” he dropped her hand. “Okay,” she really didn’t understand but did as he asked. “What is in the gated area we drove through?” “That’s where I spend most of my time. The village is under twenty-four hour surveillance. The medical facility will be gated by the end of the week, so you’ll feel safe there. Until then, I’ll have someone with you when I’m not.” “So you won’t be with me?” “The medical facility is operated six hours a day until it’s gated it will be four hours. I will be there with you most of the time,” he answered. “And what will we do the rest of the day?” she asked. “We’ll be in a gated area. I’ll be doing some training there. That’s also where our living quarters are. You’ll be able to use the internet and whatever you want in our quarters,” he smiled. “Okay,” she said, “So am I going with you for training?” “No Tessa, that area is restricted.” They walked through the gates and towards a brick building. “We’re going to our living quarters if anyone needs me, let me know,” he told the guard. They pulled in front of a brick building. He opened the door for her. “It’s not like home, Tessa,” he warned her. Collin punched in a code, and she heard a loud click. He pushed the door open and walked through the door into the hallway. They walked past several doors and came to the end of the hallway, and he punched in another code. They walked into a light room that had a desk and small kitchen. “Home sweet home.” he smiled.
He pushed the door shut, and it buzzed when it locked. “Our bedroom and bathroom are through that door, no one else has access, no one is allowed. I hope you feel safe.” She walked through the door into the bedroom. There was a bed, an armoire, and two nightstands. The bathroom had a bathtub, toilet, and sink. “Our things are in the foyer, I’ll go get them,” he smiled and walked out. He was gone for a couple minutes and returned with two large bags and a smaller one. He walked into the bedroom, and she was sitting on the bed. “Tessa you haven’t said much of anything since we arrived.” “I’m just trying to take it all in.” “So what’s bothering you?” he asked. “Nothing.” “I’m not convinced,” Collin appeared bothered. She laughed, “I’m very sorry, sir.” “Does that bother you?” “No, it’s kind of hot — sir” she laughed again. He smiled, “So we are okay?” “Of course.” He hugged her, “I think we should keep this professional, sir.” He laughed, “That’s what’s bothering you.” “No, I get it,” she said and looked down, “Okay yes — it bothers me. I wasn’t trying to jump you out there, I was trying to hold your hand.” He sat on the bed and pulled her to him, “They don’t see me like you do, and it is better that way.” “Alright so I can’t hold my husband’s hand or kiss him or grab him here any time I want?” He smiled and went to kiss her. Tessa stood up. “It’s going to be a very long two weeks,” Tessa walked into the bathroom. He laughed, “Get out here.” She walked out and went through the bags and found the toiletries. He walked towards her, and she walked past him into the bathroom and shut the door. They walked out of the building, “Sir, will you let me know the codes so that I can go in when I’m given permission — sir.” “Of course,” he sounded a little hurt. “Where are we going, sir?” “Tessa stop.” “No, sir, I am going to keep this very professional,” she smiled looking down. “You’re going to drive me crazy,” he whispered. “Two weeks, we can be professional can’t we sir? I mean you could order me to drop to my knees right here and take you in my...” she started. “Stop please,” he whined. “Yes sir, I’m so sorry. Maybe you should bend me over your knee and spank me for being so insubordinate.” “You’re impossibly frustrating,” Collin grabbed her hand. She smiled, “You're holding my hand.” “Yes I am,” he rolled his eyes. *** The next week she followed most of his rules. He stayed with her, only occasionally leaving when he received a call. He even started kissing her on the cheek before he left. The woman who helped in the
clinic smiled each time. Although Tessa couldn’t understand the woman, they seemed to be able to communicate better and better every day. Tessa was going to learn Spanish. They walked into their home away from home, and he lay down to rest with her. When she fell asleep, he would go to the training building. She would do grant work and try to figure out cheaper ways to get more for the people in the village. She walked outside the building and to the training area. The guard looked shocked when she walked up. “I need to see Mr. Abraham,” he looked confused, “I would take me to him if I were you. He’d be upset if you didn’t do as I asked.” The guard opened the door, and they walked in. There were men training, lots of them. She looked around and saw all sorts of different obstacles, walls, bridges, beams high off the ground and fake buildings within the building she stood in. The guard hurried her past the physical training area and went through the door that lead to a large classroom. She didn’t see Collin yet, and she was starting to get nervous. They went to an elevator that took them to the floor beneath. It opened, and it was a much bigger version of the basement room in his Cape Code home. Collin saw her walk in, “I’ll call you back in a little bit.” He walked over towards Tessa, “Is everything alright?” “Yes sir, your wife insisted she see you,” the guard saluted him. “You’re dismissed,” Collin looked angry. He took Tessa’s hand and led her into a large conference room. She was looking around. Are you okay?” he asked. “Yes I just had some ideas that I wanted to talk to you about.” “And it could not have waited?” “I guess,” she said. “You aren’t supposed to be in here, we’ve talked about this,” his voice was very authoritative. “You talked about it,” she said sarcastically. He shook his head, “Alright, let’s go back, and we can discuss it in our quarters.” “What is this all about?” she asked. “Tessa, let’s go back,” he took her hand. She sat down and looked at him, “Why can’t we discuss it here?” He looked at her and she was annoyed, and he was pissed. “Fine, but if you intend to keep things from me…” she started. “What?” he snapped. She stood up and walked to the door, and he followed. They walked through the training area, and he watched her take in everything. They walked into their quarters, and she walked past him and went into the bedroom and shut the door, he opened it and walked in. “What did you need to talk to me about?” “I just wanted to see you.” “You couldn’t have called?” he asked. “No, I wanted to see you. If I wanted to talk I would have called, thus the see you comment,” she whispered knowing she was pissing him off and trying in vain to stop. “You wanted to see what was in that building,” Collin narrowed his eyes. “Of course. I want to know what you do when you’re not with me. I sit in here for what seems like ever alone while you’re in there doing whatever it is your doing, I missed you. But now I’m tired, and I’m going to sleep,” she lay down and covered her head. “In that building we train young men to defend themselves. These countries are impoverished, and
when they’re not educated or able they are quick to join those that have more. They join the groups that supply the drugs and arms that ruin lives. We teach them about our country which they hate. They’re raised to believe that we have something to do with their poverty. When they see the television and hear about the United States and their allies, they resent us, and we end up in situations like September eleventh. Here, they learn differently. And where you are, most of them have family and they see us taking care of their women and children. Many of them have none, outside these walls men are not kind, they are drugged and angry. They rape and kill women and children. If we can give them knowledge and power, they can defend themselves against the guerillas and drug lords. The room you saw me in helps us to see the areas most desperately in need, it helps us to ensure that we keep everyone here safe. The men we trust and have built relationships with over years end up taking over and keeping a large amount of people safe when we leave,” he finished. “I think you’re missing something, Collin. What about teaching the women how to defend themselves? They should have that opportunity as well. They raise these little people who may know nothing about us as well. Isn’t that part of what started September eleventh, Collin? Didn’t our country train those who plotted against us?” she sat up and looked at him. “The women are the ones raising the children. And why is it I can’t be in there with you?” “You’re right, in a sense, Tessa we can work on a program when we get home if you want to. But our program is much different from those that trained the terrorists that attacked our country, Tessa. I’ve been there: in that area of the world, fighting in two tours. What you’re involved in outside of that building teaches more than weaponry! We are helping them become self- sufficient teaching them how to sustain what we start after we leave, to become independent from the cartels and guerrilla forces here. But without the other, they can’t protect themselves Tessa. It would be like feeding a baby a damn steak! And it’s not a place you need to be, I can take care of you. I know how you feel about hunting I’m pretty sure you don’t like weapons, and I was trying to keep all that out of your life” his eyes pierced her. Tessa’s was aware of how angry she had made him. “Collin, I…I feel like you think I’m doubting you,” Tessa whispered. “Tessa that’s exactly what you’re doing!” he snapped. “No, I am questioning what I don’t know and don’t understand. What you’re keeping from me. Have you ever heard the term ignorance is bliss? Well, it’s had the opposite effect on me. It pisses me off!” Tessa snapped back. “Well, have you ever heard the term curiosity killed the cat TESSA? Some of those men came from the groups we are trying to stop. And you’re safe in here! But no… your curious ass doesn’t trust me enough to sit still! What if one of them…Damn it. We are done and going home. I’ll make arrangements. Do you think you can sit your ass still for an hour so I can get you the fuck out of here?” Collin yelled. “Fuck you,” Tessa said under her breath. “Excuse me?” Collin gasped. Tessa lay down and covered her head. “Tessa!” Collin stormed over to the bed and pulled the covers off her head. She buried her face in the pillow, “Leave me alone!” Collin stood up and walked towards the door and stopped. He looked back and saw her body shaking ever so slightly. “Tessa, damn it talk to me,” he placed his hand on her back. Tessa jumped up and walked into the bathroom he heard her blowing her nose and the water run. When she came out, he was sitting on the edge of the bed looking into her eyes and his hand rested over his heart. He let out a breath and slowly shook his head from side to side. “I’m not a weak person, nor am I untrustworthy or stupid Collin. I tell you everything there is to know about me. I can’t have secrets in my life. I have huge trust issues from my previous relationship. I have
opened up to you, trusted you, and loved you, with all that I am because of who I believe you to be. I haven’t asked about your past and love that I don’t worry about things like that with you. You opened yourself up to me exposing everything which made me trust you that much more. It made me feel like your partner and your equal. Not someone taking the backseat waiting just waiting to be made to feel like a lesser person. This whole thing hurts. Maybe I went about it the wrong way. I apologize if you think I doubt you, or the wonderful things you do for people because I don’t. I just wanted to know, no — I needed to know. My God Collin, do you not remember that I was in the mix when Catherine turned up? Now please accept my apology and do whatever it is you need to do. I’m exhausted and need to rest and be alone for awhile. Which bothers me because this whole thing started because I was lonely alone in here,” Tessa lay down and covered herself up. “Tessa I…” Collin started. “No, please Collin… this is not to hurt you. I’m tired, really very tired,” Tessa hugged the blankets and closed her eyes. Tessa slept for three hours and when she woke he was sitting in a chair across the room watching her. She went to the bathroom and came out and crawled back into bed without saying a word to him. “Tessa, please talk to me,” he whispered kneeling next to the bed. “What time is it?” “Eight at night,” he answered and pushed her hair away from her face, “I have dinner.” “I’m not hungry,” she said and turned on her other side and pulled the blankets around herself. “Tessa, please,” he said softly. She sat up and looked at him, “Collin I really am just tired. I’m sorry about all this.” “Don’t be it was me…” He started. Tessa felt tears in her eyes, and her lip began to quiver, “I want to sleep, okay? I’m tired. Can this wait, please?” He grabbed her face, “We need to talk about this, but I’ll let you rest. Tessa, I love you.” “Thank you,” she said and closed her eyes and a tear fell. He wiped it away, and she lie down and fell asleep. Tessa woke two hours later, and he was still kneeling beside the bed. His head resting on the mattress, he was asleep. She watched him sleep for a long time. He looked peaceful, not angry or hurt or betrayed like she had made him feel. She wanted to stay and watch him sleep, but there were two little ones using her bladder as a trampoline. “I love you so much,” she whispered as she started to slide out of bed. Collin jumped and looked at her. He looked like a frightened animal just waiting to be attacked. Tessa immediately started to cry and grabbed him and hugged him. He was tense and held her tightly. “Are you okay?” he asked pulling back and holding her face in his hand. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she said shaking her head yes. Collin closed his eyes and released her face and stood back and offered her his hand. Tessa looked at him and took a deep breath. She looked down and closed her eyes. “Tessa, please,” he breathed out softly. She took his hand and quickly went to the bathroom. “Oh my God,” she moaned when she finally went to the bathroom. When she washed her hands and walked out. “What is it Tessa?” he asked when she came out. She looked confused, “Oh my God what?” Tessa shook her head and tried not to smile. “Please, are you okay?” “Yes,” she smiled. “Please tell me what that meant then, Tessa,” he grabbed her hands urgently. “Collin I don’t think now is a great time to answer that question,” Tessa said softly, “Let's sleep,
please can we sleep.” “Whatever you want Tessa,” Collin pulled her into his arms, “I. LOVE. YOU.” “I love you Collin, I love you,” she whispered and hugged him. Collin pulled the covers down, and she lay in bed, he dropped his pants and pulled his shirt off and crawled in behind her and held her tightly against him. “Tessa I will let you sleep but please tell me what you were thinking about in the bathroom, please.” Tessa rolled and faced him. “It's not important right now. I can’t fight anymore today, please.” “I want you to get whatever it was off your mind before you fall asleep. You were crying in your sleep earlier because I upset you. I want you to get it out now I don’t want to hear you cry again, please,” Collin wasn’t letting it go. Tessa let out a deep breath and sat up, “I won’t ever lie to you. I will always tell you the truth, and if I answer that you’ll be mad and for no reason its stupid.” He sat up, “I won’t be Tessa just tell me the truth.” “Okay, fine. It’s stupid and means nothing. I had to go to the bathroom for a long time. I chose to watch you sleep, you looked peaceful, not like earlier, and I wanted to watch you sleep. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I finally got up, and the pressure was horrendous. When I finally peed it felt good. When I was younger, I asked Lucas what it felt like for a man when he came, and that’s what he told me when you have to pee really bad and finally do. I never understood what he meant and well I kind of get it. Are we going to fight again?” “Was our fight so awful that you miss him?” “No, Collin, it was worse than I’ve ever felt with anything I ever went through with him. I hurt you today. This had nothing to do with Lucas, and again we should not be having this conversation now. I feel guilty and awful, and I’m so angry at myself for making you mad or to question or doubt how much I respect you and your work, how much I adore and love you. I don’t think it’s good for them… so please Collin, can we please not fight?” “Sure but he’s wrong… that’s not what it feels like,” Collin laid down and pulled her into his arms. “Sorry,” she whispered snuggling into him. “There is heat that starts in your groin, and it builds and moves to your testicles like liquid fire without a burn… just heat, it slowly moves down your shaft as you harden it tingles inside, pressure, heat, and a tickle inside until you release. When you release its mindless pleasure that takes over your entire body. When I come inside you, it’s almost spiritual like I am sharing energy with you, giving you my pleasure, I had never not used a condom until you. Its, not like you have to take a piss Tessa, it’s amazing. I am not mad. I love you goodnight,” Collin looked up and Tessa’s mouth was open, and her eyebrows rose. “Are you okay?” Tessa shook her head yes and turned her back to him and lay down. “Tessa I love you,” he said and propped himself up on his elbow and turned her towards him and kissed her gently on the cheek. Tessa moaned loudly and let out the breath she had been holding since he began talking. She squeezed her knees together tightly and closed her eyes so he couldn’t see them rolling into the back of her head. Holy shit, she thought. Her breasts were tight and heavy, and her nipples taunt. “Wow Tessa.” She opened her eyes and looked at him and shook her head. He licked his lips and bit down on his lower lip and she threw her head back, and he pulled her chin, so she was looking at him again. “Sorry, damn it sorry,” Tessa felt incredibly embarrassed. He kissed her lips softly and pulled his head back away from her.
“Can I help you out?” he whispered and kissed her again. Tessa grabbed his face and kissed him. She gently pushed him to his back and started to climb on him. He held her back gently. “Tessa we need to get you ready,” he growled. “All set,” she said in a raspy voice. “Tell me what it feels like Tessa,” his breath was hot against her neck as he kissed her. “Oh God, I need you,” she purred softly holding back afraid she would come without him inside of her, and she wanted him inside of her badly. “Tell me,” he demanded. “Damn it Collin,” she whined, “Like I need a Q- tip. Like I have been camping for a month and I need to clean my ears that there is an itch and, please Collin.” She heard him chuckle as he kissed her collarbone. “Not funny,” she tried to squeeze her knees together, and he put his knee between hers stopping her. He skipped past her breasts and went to her belly teasing her, he moved to her thigh and ran his tongue hard against her pubic bone and blew his hot breath on her throbbing clit. “Collin,” she growled. “You need me Tessa, as much as I need you,” he licked up her thigh causing her to whimper. “You don’t want to come until I am deep inside you, you want to feel me fill you with my cock and your reward is my come. You need me just as badly as I need you,” he growled and licked her from back to front. Tessa’s body came apart immediately and he pushed into her holding nothing back. He thrust hard and deep into her, and his name echoed from her mouth through the brick walls of their home away from home. He didn’t stop until she was no longer meeting his thrusts, her nails stopped digging into his back, and her arms lay limp at her sides. When he came, she felt him twitch and jerk inside of her as he told her he loved her over and over again. When he pulled out, she felt his slick erection drag across her thigh until she was empty, and let out a moan. He lay beside her and grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers and held her hand against his rapidly beating heart. “Q- tips?” he said through labored breath. Tessa giggled softly, “Cleaning my ears with a Q- tip. A build up of pressure and heat in my lower abdomen pulsing in my who who. Then when your inside of me I feel full and all that pressure peaks until finally it has nowhere else to radiate then throughout all of me.” “Okay no, more talk I’m exhausted and getting hard again, I love you, goodnight,” he breathed softly. “Q- tips, dark chocolate, a pedicure, your smile, during a small earthquake,” Tessa yawned and giggled, “I love you.” Collin growled and rolled to his stomach, “Goodnight, Tessa!” *** Tessa woke to Collin sitting dressed on the edge of the bed. “Good morning beautiful,” he said cautiously. She smiled and sat up and hugged him tightly, “Good morning.” “I’ve been thinking, and I know you need to feel like you can take care of yourself so maybe you would like to learn about weapons,” Collin kissed her head. “Do you want to teach me to shoot?” she asked with a smile. “If you want to learn, I would love to teach you,” his face was set in determination. “Okay, so if I’m a good student and learn quickly can I maybe go with you some time while you
train?” she asked. He laughed, “Sure Tessa.” You’re going to regret that, she thought. “Can we go now?” she asked. He looked at his watch “Yes, actually… It's perfect timing. Get dressed.” *** They walked in, and he showed her how to hold a gun and how to aim. She played stupid real well, and as he wrapped his arms around her teaching her how to handle the pistol she leaned into him and knew it was very distracting to him. “Alright if this makes you uncomfortable then, you can stop ok?” he stroked her face gently. “We have a deal right?” He smiled and shook his head yes and she aimed and shot dead center until the magazine was emptied. She turned and smiled at him. “I win,” he looked shocked. “I don’t like killing animals, but I really like guns.” She wasn’t sure if he was angry or upset or what he was thinking when he took her hand and led her back to their quarters. “Are you mad at me?” she asked as she pulled her hand away. “That was, fuck Tessa” he laid her on the bed and ripped her shirt off. “You should see me with a bow,” she laughed as buttons flew everywhere. The rest of the week, she went to see him when she was done at the clinic. She planned it so that she arrived when he was doing PT. She loved seeing the drill sergeant authoritative Collin, with anyone else but her, and physical and sweaty and the way he looked when he saw her walk in. He softened when he looked in her eyes, but in two, seconds he was yelling and orders. Tessa spent a lot of time with Alejandra, the girl that worked at the medical center; she had grown very close to her. She knew that leaving her there would be hard. She was only seventeen and smart as a whip. She caught on very fast and could even communicate with her a bit. Tessa had emailed her mother and would have a package delivered a couple days before they left. There were a few things she wanted Alejandra to have. Mostly clothes and books, she had decided that she was the one who would look after the medical center. She and Collin agreed that if things went alright, when she was eighteen they would make arrangements for her to attend nursing school in Mexico and pay for it. The night before they left Tessa and Collin stayed up late making sure things were all set. They drove to the airport, and Tessa looked up at him and tried to avoid the children’s pleading for food and money. He smiled down at her, “We can’t save them all Tessa, but we can help many who will eventually help children like these.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN The house was amazing. They’d installed invisible fence all the way to the pond and Leia was happy. Tessa and Collin laughed and loved often. The next few months were a dream, they decided not to find out what they were having and celebrated Collin’s twenty- ninth birthday on June 13th. She was busy trying to clean up from the little party so that she could attempt to throw a party upstairs for just the two of them. She bent down to pick up a magazine that had dropped and her water broke. She smiled and cleaned up the mess. She ignored any pain she was feeling and calmly walked up the stairs, and he was in the shower. “You coming in beautiful?” he smiled when he saw her walk in. “Yes,” she said, “But you can’t touch me.” “Really, that’s one hell of a way to end my favorite birthday so far,” he laughed. “Collin, I think you have a couple more gifts on their way, my water just broke. I’m going to take a shower and then we’re going to the hospital,” she said very calmly. “You’re being serious,” he finally said and he watched her slowly undress. She laughed, “Yes, very.” “What can I do?” “Get dressed; get the bags that are in the closet. I’ll be done in a minute,” she stepped in the shower, “Any guesses yet?” “Two babies… Tessa how can you be so unbelievably calm right now?” “I have you, and we’re all going to be fine,” she said. “Now please go get dressed. We are going to have a long night. *** She lay in the hospital bed, and the doctor came in. “How are you two feeling?” “Great,” she said holding Collin’s hand. “Your contractions are right on top of each other. How long have you been having them?” he asked. “Since about noon” she answered, “My water broke an hour ago and this hurts like hell. Could you check me?” “Since noon Tessa?” Collin stewed, “Why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s your birthday” she smiled. “I wanted you to have a nice time. Until now, they’ve been perfectly fine.” “You are nine centimeters dilated, Tessa. You’re going to have these babies very soon,” Dr. Brown patted her shoulder “Collin could you grab my phone, and text my parents?” he looked lost, “You’re a doctor you can handle this.” Tessa closed her eyes and winced. “I wish I could take your place,” he said quietly. “Well, that isn’t going to happen” she smiled. “Do you want your mom in here?” “No, just you and I,” she grabbed his hand and squeezed through a contraction. “Sorry.” “Don’t be,” he sent the message. “Tessa do you want something for pain?” Dr. Brown asked. “No, thank you,” she closed her eyes and breathed.
“Tessa, if you’re hurting, please take something. I don’t want to see you in pain.” “Dr. Brown could you get my husband something? I think this is going to be a little rough on him,” she laughed. He smiled at her. “By the way, I’m guessing boys,” she smiled. “Are you concerned about them being early?” “They have been in my belly for long enough, they will be perfect,” Tessa smiled. At eleven, fifty pm their first child was born, a beautiful boy with brown curly hair and big blue eyes, he weighed seven pounds and two ounces, he was twenty inches long and perfect. She labored for another hour before their second son was born, he was six pounds ten ounces and twenty- one inches long and just as perfect, his hair was a little lighter and his eyes were blue. They both cried after the birth of each. They had not discussed names, and at the time they didn’t care. They had a lot of visitors, her entire family and Tomas all were in the waiting room when the boys were born. Tessa made Collin wait for an hour after they were born before she allowed anyone in. They both latched on perfectly. “You need to rest, beautiful” he kissed her. “I don’t want them to take them to the nursery. I want to go home with my three favorite boys and just lay in our bed for weeks, holding all of you,” she looked down at them. “They can stay in here Tessa, but you’re going to rest. Maybe we could name them?” “Do you have any ideas?” “I know I think their middle names one or both should be Ross,” he suggested. “Matthew and Mark?” She said and laughed, “The first two books of the New Testament?” “Great names but Lucas follows that right?” he asked. “Actually yes and my God son’s name is Luke, not Lucas,” she looked hurt. “Tessa I’m sorry. Matthew and Mark would be fine.” “No, I want one of them to be named after you. Collin John?” “What about Collin Ross?” he asked. “No, Ross can be the other’s middle name, that way both are named after family” she smiled at him. “I really like Matthew,” he looked at the second baby, “Matthew Ross?” She smiled, “I like it, Collin John and Matthew Ross, are we sure?” “I like them both, I think they’re perfect.” “Matthew means gift from God and Collin you were a gift from God, and these two are as well.” “Yeah, that works.” They slept most of the first night, Collin insisted she take something for the pain, she didn’t argue. The next morning they received flowers, yellow Roses and white daisies from Lucas and Ashley. - Congratulations on the birth of your sons. LYA Lucas and Ashley. White roses and blue carnations from Ben. Two boys to occupy the two girls, joking Collin. I’m very happy for you both, Love Ya, Ben
Collin read her the cards and she laughed. “Okay, I understand Ben’s, but what does LYA mean?” “Love you anyway,” she said without thinking. “Oh.” “Sorry.” She picked up Matthew, “Your Daddy needs to stop asking silly questions if he doesn’t want the
answer. Tell him Matthew. Say ‘Daddy, Mommy, loves you forever, so stop pouting because mommy wants to bite that bottom lip, and one thing will lead to another and well, you don’t want mommy frustrated do you,’ no of course not.” Collin smiled, “CJ tell mommy it’s fine and remind her she still has a beautiful mouth that seems to be in working order.” She scowled at him, and he smirked, they both started laughing. The Abraham family of four went home two days later. There were flowers and food everywhere. He smiled. As she held the door open, and he carried the boys in the house. “I am so glad to be home,” Tessa hugged Collin. The next two weeks were crazy, the boys ate every two hours, slept and pooped. She cleaned; she refused to have help other than family when they dropped in. She was exhausted, and he was, too. When she woke, he woke. When one was feeding, Collin burped the other, he was much better at it than she was. They never fought once about it, they were a team and very good at it. “Collin,” she laughed, “sweetheart… you need a haircut.” “What this shaggy look isn’t working for you?” he laughed. “It works,” she said and raised her eyebrow and looked at him. “Tessa… we have a few weeks, don’t look at me like that.” “Don’t tell me what to do.” She laid CJ down and took Matthew and put him down. “Your turn,” she said, and that was all it took he was clearly aroused and she clearly wanted to take care of that for him. “That’s not fair to you,” Collin let out a deep breath. She smiled and went down. He didn’t take nearly as long as he had five weeks ago and when he finished, his face turned red. She laughed, and he shook his head and looked away. “Thanks, wife.” “Anytime husband, just ask.” She came out of the bathroom, “Tessa we need help here, just for a few weeks. A nanny, a housekeeper, someone to do the shopping, something. We can’t keep expecting your family to do all they have been.” “No nanny,” she laid down in his arms. “Okay, I agree but a housekeeper. I miss you. I know it sounds insane but if your mom wasn’t here taking care of laundry and shopping, she might be able to relax and enjoy them. And if you weren’t obsessively bleaching our home,” he laughed, “We might be able to eat a meal together, or go get our hair cut.” She smiled, “Fine but only a few hours a day and not on weekends.” “Thank you.” “But they don’t take care of the boys.” “Okay, I agree, our responsibility.” “Our gifts,” she smiled.”Can we go running together?” “Yes.” “Okay and maybe I can start dancing again,” she clapped. “We are doing this so we can rest right?” “Yep, and maybe dance,” she curled up to him and they both fell asleep. His old housekeeper was there the next morning. He hugged her, and she laughed. “Happy to see me Mr. Abraham?” “Ecstatic.” He had never shown affection to anyone before Tessa.
She walked down the stairs and smiled, “Wow, that was fast.” “Sorry, Tessa but I’ve been very tired,” he hugged her, “Good morning are the boys awake?” “Not yet.” She talked to Joan a bit, and Collin showed her the apartment above the garage. “Is your Mom coming over today?” he asked. “Yes, for a few hours. I should call her and tell her not to bother,” Tessa grabbed her phone. “Please, we haven’t left the house in weeks, go with me to get a haircut and let me take you to dinner,” he said with pleading eyes. She agreed and knew this must be hard for him; he had spent all his life going nonstop and not having to answer to anyone. *** Two weeks later the fair was in town and Collin talked Tessa into taking the kids to the parade, she didn’t want people touching them, and he knew she was a bit overprotective. “They may actually like being out of the confines of our home,” he poked fun at her, “Besides we have yet to use that double stroller.” “Fine.” Tessa felt fat and nasty, even though she had lost all but ten pounds already her body was not tight and it drove her crazy. She wore Capri’s and a linen long shirt. “You look beautiful,” he kissed her as she stood in the mirror looking at herself. “I feel just the opposite.” “Maybe you’ll feel better when you’re out of the house.” *** They walked down the sidewalk with Kendall and Jose. She avoided looking at anyone, but it didn’t work. The first person she ran into was Sadi. “Tessa Ross look at you,” Sadi hugged her. “Your daughter is beautiful,” Tessa smiled. “Two boys? Lucas must be proud.” Tessa laughed, “They aren’t Lucas’: that didn’t work out.” “Oh, I’m sorry… he really loved you.” “Sadi, this is my husband Collin, Collin this is Sadi Black.” Tessa introduced them. “Nice to meet you.” “Likewise,” he smiled politely. Sadi smiled and looked at Tessa, “So what is Lucas doing?” “He’s living in New Jersey and is with Ashley. He was at our house for New Years that’s the last I have talked to him. But I’m sure he is doing great, and how are you doing?” “Great, happy, still in love,” she smiled. When they walked away, Collin whispered in her ear, “Pretend pregnancy, Lucas’s ex that tried to assault you every chance she got?” “Yep, sure is,” Tessa laughed. “Why do you talk to her?” “Why not? It was high school, she was hurt. I’m way past that and I forgave her,” Tessa smiled. Collin smiled and shook his head. They saw Jade and Ryan and the kids.
“Hello… what’s going on?” Ryan asked, “You got her out of the house?” “I did, she just doesn’t want anyone touching the boys” he laughed, Jade picked up Matthew. “Except for Jade.” He wrapped his arms around Tessa, “You going to be alright?” She leaned back and kissed him, “Yes.” “Look at you four,” Tessa heard Lucas call from behind. His sisters ran up to her and hugged her; she hugged them back and showed them the boys. “Jade has Matthew Ross, he was born right after,” she said picking up Collin, “CJ, and Collin John.” “Tessa they are beautiful,” Lucas said. “They’re pretty perfect,” she said, “Thank you.” “May I hold him?” Lucas asked. Collin laughed, “If you can pry him out of her hands.” She scowled at him, and he smiled and whispered, “Go ahead.” Lucas held him, “You look like your Dad CJ, are they always this quiet?” “They’re very good babies,” Tessa said. Jade handed Tessa Matthew. “This is Matthew Ross, can you say hi to Lucas?” she was bouncing him and facing him towards Luke. “Matthew Ross, you look exactly like your Mommy,” Lucas said, “Do you want to switch?” Collin took CJ, and Lucas held Matthew. Ashley, Landon, and Audrianna walked up. “They’re precious;” Audrianna hugged her, “May I?” Collin gently handed CJ to her. Ashley was looking at Matthew and smiling. “Do you two sleep?” Lucas asked Collin. “We do now, for what Tessa… three of four hours at night?” he smiled. “Yes thank God, it was two,” Tessa laughed. “You don’t have help?” Landon asked “She finally agreed after two weeks of no sleep to allow me to hire a housekeeper so at least we could get a few minutes alone. But no nanny, they’re ours,” Collin kissed her head. “Have you told them the news, Lucas?” Landon asked. “Not yet Dad… I just ran into them,” Lucas smiled, “Ash and I are getting married.” Tessa smiled, “I’m so happy for you, both of you,” she hugged Ashley and kissed Lucas on the cheek.”When?” “Two months, invitations went out today, you guys are invited, but I understand if you have your hands full.” Lucas looked at Tessa she smiled, “Wow, you are really happy for me aren’t you?” “Yes, of course.” “Well, thank you, I don’t think I deserve that after the way I reacted to your pending nuptials,” Lucas laughed nervously. “We both accepted…” Collin started. Lucas laughed, “My apology, you little men are going to have manners coming out your eyeballs. Thank you, both.” “So tomorrow night Adam’s band is playing again Tessa. Do you think maybe you and Collin would like to meet us at the big fair for a couple hours?” Jade asked “No, we don’t have a sitter,” Tessa said and looked at Collin as if to say cover me. “I’ll come up. I’d love to hang out with the boys,” Kendall offered. “So it’s all set then,” Jade said. CJ started to get agitated, and Jade handed him immediately to Tessa. “What’s wrong my love?” she asked and he turned towards her breast and started nuzzling into her, “We have to go.”
“Alright, nice to see you all,” Collin took Matthew and set him in the stroller and took CJ from Tessa, “Not going to work over here little guy.” Jade looked at Lucas and scowled at him. Lucas laughed, “What?” Lucky baby he thought. “Nothing. Ryan, we should get going too,” Jade turned away and tried not to laugh. *** The next night Tessa and Collin walked in his arm draped around her shoulder. “Are you going to make it three hours?” he smiled. “Two, we said two hours,” she looked at him and saw him trying not to laugh. “Collin, please, I don’t like this.” “Okay beautiful, I won’t tease you. But will you try to have a good time?” “Yes I will, but I need some incentive,” she smiled. “I will let you go down.” he said rolling his eyes as if he didn’t want her to. “Oh, you will, will you?” She laughed, “I was thinking maybe you would dance with me.” “Fine,” he said in an exasperated tone and laughed. Jade saw them and waved them over. Jade handed Collin drinks. Collin looked at Tessa and handed her the wine slushy. “Pump and dump?” he asked. Jade laughed, “They sleep better if you don’t.” “Is she being serious?” he whispered in Tessa’s ear. She laughed and shook her head no. “Thank God… I was going to have to change my opinion of her,” Collin scowled. Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He kissed her back. “I love you,” she said, “Dance with me?” “Of course.” He looked at her and smiled as they danced. Tessa saw Jade pointing to her and Adam smiled, “Tessa Ross.” Jade whispered to him, “Sorry, Tessa Abraham” she shook her head no. “You got five minutes,” Adam walked down and shook Collin’s hand and hugged Tessa. “I haven’t sung in forever. I’m not going up there.” “Why aren’t you singing?” he asked and looked at Collin. “I’ve been a little busy. We have twin babies at home,” she drank the slushy and Jade handed her another, and she drank that down too. She looked at Collin, and her jaw dropped. He laughed, “You’re fine there’s enough in the freezer to feed a whole village.” She grabbed her head and looked like she was in pain. “Are you okay?” “Brain freeze,” he laughed, “Don’t let me drink anymore.” “Okay, are you going to sing?” “No.” “But you want to,” Collin smiled. “Of course, she wants to,” Jade said, “And she will.” Jade handed her another drink. She started to drink it, and Collin shook his head no. Tessa handed it to him and smiled, “Thank you.” She was buzzed, and Adam called her up she smiled and kissed Collin, “Changed my mind.” “I knew you would,” he smiled.
Collin smiled as she sang the same song she had almost a year ago, Cowboy Take Me Away, by the Dixie Chicks. She hugged Adam, “Thanks — that was fun.” “One more?” he asked. “Not tonight, I need to get home to my boys,” Tessa walked off stage and ran and jumped on Collin. “Did you have fun?” he asked and she shook her head yes, “You love to sing, you’re very good, and you should do it more often.” “I want a piano.” “You play?” “Not well, but I’d like to try again.” Adams band started playing a song she loved. “Dance with me,” she jumped down. “Sing to me,” he replied. As they danced, she sang to him. “I want you tonight,” she whispered in his ear. “We have to wait,” closed his eyes and kissed her. “I’m fine,” pressed into him and grabbed his hair and pulled him down to kiss her again. He smiled, “Yes you are, but we’re waiting.” Tessa stomped her foot and pulled away from him and turned around. He laughed. Lucas and Ashley were standing with Jade and Ryan, Tessa looked, and Lucas looked down and tried not to smile. Collin grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder and smacked her ass. “We’re going home, thanks we had fun.” “I think that’s the same position she was in the first night we met you,” Jade said, and Tessa flipped her off. Collin walked away, and Tessa grabbed his butt. He pulled her down and she wrapped her legs around him and kissed him, “You’re going to make this impossible.” “I want to sing another song,” she laughed. “I bet you do,” he laughed and set her down. Tessa ran to Jade and grabbed her drink and slammed it. Collin walked over biting his cheek trying not to laugh at her. She ran up and whispered into Adam’s ear, and he laughed. “What did you do, Collin?” Jade asked laughing, “Did you tell her no?” He smiled and looked away. “You know you could always do that trick you did at the Cape, she seemed to like that, no touching, no kissing, no…” she said. “I remember Jade,” Collin laughed. She started singing Whenever, Wherever by Shakira. She was buzzed and a lot less self- conscious as she had been earlier. She shook her hips and half way through it he walked up and motioned for her and she jumped in his arms. She smiled and turned around and shook her ass some more and finished the song. She jumped off the stage laughing. “There are other places that could go,” and bent over in front of him and laughed when she turned around, and he looked shocked. She jumped on his back and smacked his butt, “Take me to bed!” *** By the time, they got home she was asleep. He carried her in and Kendall whispered “Is she ok? “She had a couple drinks. How are the boys?” he whispered. “They just ate about a half an hour ago. I’ll stay tonight if that’s okay,” Kendall smiled.
“You don’t have to.” “I want to. Go to sleep, I’m going to finish this movie, and I’ll make sure they are fed. Go to sleep,” she insisted and smiled. “Thank you, Kendall.” He brought Tessa upstairs and dressed her for bed. She woke up, “Hey… what’s going on?” “You’re tired and going to bed. Kendall’s staying the night,” he kissed her, “I’m going to grab some water and Tylenol and the pump.” He came back, and she wasn’t in the room, she was in the nursery looking at the boys. “Look at them, they’re perfect,” Tessa smiled. “Their Mommy is a lush.” “You better not wake them up, come on.” He flipped on the monitor so they could see them. “Your sister is going to do the next feeding; you’re going to pump and go to sleep.” “No, I want to feed them.” “Tessa four weeks and a day with no more than three hours of sleep at a time,” he said getting the pump setup. “We’ll get four hours maybe five tonight, she wants to, please let’s go to sleep.” “Wow, you’re very excited about sleep,” she laughed. “Aren’t you?” he asked propping her up with pillows. “Pump.” Her eyes narrowed, “I think you could do better than this pump.” “Really?” he asked his eyes widened with excitement. “Yes, please.” “Nice Collin.” Tessa woke up every three hours, and she let him sleep. She chatted with Kendall and pumped and dumped as they fed them. Collin woke to Leia licking his face, and he looked at the clock it was eight in the morning he had slept nine hours. He jumped up and ran into the nursery, and she was feeding CJ. “Good morning,” she smiled. “Morning? It’s almost afternoon. Why did you let me sleep so late, did you turn off the monitor?” he asked agitated. She smiled, “I got up and pumped and dumped when Kendall was feeding them, so I had help.” “So you didn’t get any sleep?” “Yes actually, they slept for seven hours after I breastfed them,” Tessa laughed, he looked concerned. “I’m joking, but they did sleep for five hours straight, it was very nice. I think they like their room. We should put a twin bed in here. See if that makes a difference.” “Alright,” he said. He took CJ and burped him as Tessa fed Matthew.
CHAPTER TWENTY CJ and Matthew’s six- week checkup went perfect. They were growing like weeds and the pediatrician suggested they supplement one bottle before bed with formula if they started eating more often. They were sleeping five hours straight every night in the cribs. Tessa and Collin slept in the twin bed between feedings. Tessa’s appointment was just as good, she could resume regular activity as soon as she felt up to it. They came home and fed the boys and looked at each other. They both laughed as they rocked the boys to sleep. “I don’t understand why I’m so nervous.” “Tessa realistically when is the last time you went six weeks without sex?” he smiled. “I don’t know,” she said, “A year ago?” “Oh.” “And how about you?” she laughed. “Awhile,” he said. They were both asleep. He laid Matthew down and went into the bedroom and showered. She came in and got in the shower with him. He kissed down her neck and caressed her breast. “Can we do this is the bed, please?” “Uh huh,” he kissed her again. His hands reaching low and she gasped. “This okay?” he asked softly. “Yes.” “Tessa, I‘ve missed you,” he kissed down her belly and lifted her leg to his shoulder. She leaned back against the shower wall as he kissed the outside of her sex. His tongue parted her and she moaned his name. He looked up at her and smiled and started again. “Collin stop, please,” Tessa gasped. “Do you really want me to?” “Let’s go to the bed,” her eyes closed. He put her in bed and went down again until she pulled away and moved up the bed. “What’s wrong?” “I am afraid it’s going to hurt.” “Okay,” moving up next to her. “So we go slowly.” He leaned into her and she pulled back. “I am not trying to be a pain but just let’s do this,” and he stifled back a laugh. “Just get on me and do me.” “Alright, that was so romantic,” he laughed. He held her face between his hands and positioned himself over her and slowly started to enter her. He felt her knees closing and he stopped and kissed her until she relaxed and moved slowly again until her knees squeezed him. “I need to feel your warmth, beautiful,” he kissed her neck; “I love you so much. Feel me, Tessa, let me make…” “Collin you need to put a condom on,” she scooting back again. “I’m not sure I’ll need one.” “I’m sorry,” she said and looked down.
“Don’t be, we can work at this all day. I have no problem with that,” he grabbed a condom and took her hand placing his above hers they rolled it on and he groaned. He resumed his position and she wrapped her arms around him and moved her hips into him slowly. “Tessa, you’re shaking,” he slowed. “Don’t stop, please. I’m fine, nervous but fine. Does it feel the same?” “Of course, hot wet tight, real fucking tight,” he hissed, “ If you want to stop we can,” he said, “Your move.” Collin kissed her neck and shoulders. He avoided her breasts and rubbed her sides gently. Tessa slowly began to move, and he moaned against her neck and they began slowly pushing into each other together. She laid back and closed her eyes and enjoyed her moment. He knew she was ready and moved faster until they both finished. She sat up, “Sorry,” “For what?” “That couldn’t have been enjoyable for you.” He laughed and pulled off his condom and looked at it. “I beg to differ,” he kissed her and went into the bathroom. When he walked out, he was naked and fully erect and ready again. Tessa was standing up, “Please stay in that bed. I’m not done with you yet.” She smiled and did as she was told. By round three, she felt normal again. She was sure it was mostly psychological, and now it was all better. “See?” he said. “Perfect.” *** Within a week, the boys were sleeping five hours every night and eating a lot more. They had to supplement formula for two feedings. They had one night a week that Maggie came up and they went out. As much as they tried not to talk about the boys, conversation always led them there. Collin had written two articles that were published in the past eight weeks and Tessa was working on grants again. He would be flying back to Nicaragua in a week, but he would stay only one week. While he was gone, Joan would be there more… Collin insisted. Tessa’s sole focus was on the boys while he was gone. They Skype several times a day, and although she missed him, she knew that having him home for nine weeks was more than she could’ve ever dreamed. She was playing piano again, and her babies seemed to enjoy it. Their life was perfect, better than perfect. They had decided to attend Lucas’s wedding in New Jersey, it just so happened to fall on the anniversary of the very first day they met. Collin was in Haiti for the week before the wedding and would be flying in and meeting her in Jersey. Tessa and her family all rode together, Joan and Tomas followed they would stay the day of the wedding and then take Leia back to the Cape with them. Tomas was picking up Collin from the airport, and Joan would watch the kids while Tessa and Collin attended the ceremony. The Ross family all sat together, Ryan was the best man and Alex and Jose were ushers. Tessa kept checking her phone to see if she had any messages… it wasn’t like him to be late. The ceremony ended, and Lucas and Ashley walked down the aisle as man and wife. She looked beautiful, and he was as handsome as ever. When they waited in the receiving line, Tessa saw Tomas, he was pacing back and forth across the room. She texted him: - where is my husband? He looked at her and motioned for her to come to him. “Tessa, there has been an accident,” Tomas said.
“Is he okay?” John and Maggie were hugging the bride and groom and turned to look at her, they saw her stumble and Tomas grabbed her, and they walked out the door. They all ran to her, and Lucas watched, “Dad, go see what’s going on.” Landon followed them as Tomas told them what happened. Collin’s convoy was ambushed while leaving the village, they had lost communication. Tessa walked into the room, and her family followed. She grabbed her babies and held them as she quietly sobbed. No one said a word; they let her cry and stood beside her helplessly. Lucas knocked on the door and came in, Tessa looked up, and Leia growled. “Sorry,” Tessa said. Ashley followed him in, she knew this wasn’t good. “Tessa,” Lucas hugged her. They sat for almost an hour Kendall, Phoebe, and Jade surrounded her and Lucas sat at her feet feeling helpless. Leia walked up to him and put her head on his lap, and he looked shocked. “You need to get back downstairs,” Tessa told Lucas again, “This is your wedding day.” “I know, but you need me now,” Lucas said struggling. “No, Ashley needs you, my boys need me, don’t be an ass,” Tessa snapped. Lucas smiled softly and patted Leia, “I’ll be back.” He and Ashley walked out the door. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Ashley asked him with tears in her eyes. “Yes, Mrs. Links,” he said and kissed her, “I just need a few minutes, is that alright?” Ashley got on the elevator, and Lucas sat in the hallway and heard Tessa sobbing. He crouched on the floor wishing there was something he could do. Realizing he could do nothing to help her right now. *** He walked towards the elevator and saw Ashley getting off crying. He walked down the hall towards their room and Lucas sat at the door wiping his face. “Something I should know about, Links?” Lucas looked up and smiled. “I’ve never been so happy to see your face in my life,” Lucas stood and hugged him. Collin pulled back. Lucas knocked on the door, and John opened it and laughed. “Thank God,” John hugged him. Collin heard Tessa crying and walked to her, “Everything okay, beautiful?” She looked up and grabbed him, “You’re okay.” “Sorry, I’m late I missed my flight,” Collin smiled. She couldn’t stop crying and kissing him, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Collin sat on the bed and held her, “You’d be strong. You’d live for you and for the kids Tessa. But I have to tell you, I’m not going anywhere for a very long time.” Tomas came in and told him what had happened. Tessa clung to him and fell asleep. When she woke up, they were alone. “Collin… I don’t know what I would have done,” Tessa started crying, and he kissed her. They made love and showered and made love again, “You think we should go down to the reception?” “It’s probably over by now,” Tessa held him tightly. “Let’s go see. I’ve been dreaming about you in that dress.”
They walked in and saw everyone turn to them she smiled at him, and he held her. They walked to the dance floor not taking their eyes off each other. It was the last song the band played. After the reception everyone went to the hotel bar, they joined them for a drink. Tessa sat on Collin’s lap as he answered the million questions. Tessa walked to the bathroom, and Ashley came out of one of the stalls. “I’m sorry about all that,” Tessa said. “You look absolutely beautiful, by the way.” Ashley hugged her, “It wasn’t your fault and thank you. You know we are going to be breaking ground up by Jade and Ryan soon.” “That’s great are you excited?” Tessa asked. “I am… but a bit nervous. It’s a small town, and I won’t know a lot of people,” she said looking in the mirror fixing her makeup. “Well, Jade will be right next door, she will keep you more than entertained, and I hope you and I can be friends.” “It doesn’t bother you at all does it?” Tessa looked at her, “No, I love Collin and I do love your husband, but not in the way that would be creepy to you.” She laughed, “But if it bothers you, I can stop being so friendly.” “No, it doesn’t, at all. He has changed because of you. Landon changed, my sister changed, his mother changed. I am grateful that he knew you,” she said. “And I trust him, I know that may sound weird to you, but I do.” “He is definitely different with you, Ashley Links. It’s like he’s finally comfortable in his own skin. As far as changes in all those people you mentioned. Lucas was ready to change; he changed them it wasn’t me. It was your husband,” She giggled. “By the way it’s your wedding night don’t you think you should get out there?” They walked out together smiling and chatting. Tessa hugged her, “Are you two going to have babies?” “I hope so; he seems a bit nervous about it.” “He will be a good Daddy,” Tessa said. “You think so?” Lucas asked looking at Ashley and smiling. “Yes I do,” Tessa said, “So don’t be a jackass.” “You ready?” Collin asked her. “Are you?” she said trying not to cry. “When are you going to stop crying when you look at me?” he hugged her. “Collin I would have died, do you understand that?” she said. “I know you may think that, but our boys would have needed you and you would have been strong for them Tessa,” he said wiping her tears. “As I said before I’m not going anywhere beautiful.” They went upstairs, and the boys were awake. He held them both and watched them as she got ready to nurse. After the boys were fed and burped, they laid them in the portable cribs and sat on the bed. “A year ago today Tessa I saw you… again and my life changed. I feel blessed. You have given me the world, one I never even thought I wanted or deserved. Thank you.” “Collin I hope you know that without you, I wouldn’t have ever been happy or full or have ever felt true love the love I feel every time I look at you. I’m blessed to have you and I thank God every day for you.” He held her tightly against him, and she felt him and smiled. “Can you get a condom?” She asked through labored breaths as he kissed her. They woke to the beautiful sounds of their now fourteen- week old bundles of joy. They joined her family for dinner and Lucas and Ashley walked in looking exhausted. Jade giggled, and Tessa laughed. “Good morning,” Lucas said to everyone.
They all smiled “Good morning.” After they ate and the boys started getting a little fussy. “They need you,” Collin smiled. “Thank you for the invitation it was a beautiful ceremony,” Tessa stood up holding CJ. “We’re going to take off.” Ashley hugged her and so did Audrianna. “We’ll see you in a couple days?” Jade asked. “Yes, I’ll have the house all ready for you all.” “Are we going out on the boat, Collin?” Jade asked. “Sure it’ll be the boys first time,” he kissed Matthew’s fingers. *** They walked in the house, and Leia started to bark. Collin held up his finger and she sat, he set the boy's carriers in the living room and let Leia out. The boys were fast asleep, and he did not want to wake them. Joan had stocked the fridge and pantry for them. She looked at him and smiled and hugged him. “Their first time here.” “Uh huh,” Collin kissed her cheek. She smiled, “We need to set up the room for them.” “Already done,” he kissed her again. “Show me?” “You first,” he smiled and pulled her shirt over her head. She laughed, “I love you.” “I love you, and right now I need you,” Collin pulled her into the bedroom. She took his shirt off, undid his pants, and knelt down and took him in her mouth, he moaned and she continued pleasing him. “Alright you need to stop,” she didn’t listen. “Tessa,” he growled. “You’re amazing,” he and followed her into the bathroom. “I know,” she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth. He stood behind her kissing her neck and reaching his arm around her moving his hand down. She smiled and leaned into him. They heard the boys and laughed. “To be continued,” he turned her around and kissed her. She smiled, and he brushed his teeth and washed his hands. The boys had gotten much easier, they loved to play and were rolling over and laughing. Both were cutting their first teeth and running low- grade fevers causing them to sleep a lot more. Allowing Tessa and Collin to play — a lot more. They enjoyed their weeks with their family and Collin after a year was calling Maggie, Mom… which was something he knew, pleased her immensely. *** Tessa, Collin, and the boys went home for Remington’s birthday. The entire family was there. Ashley and Lucas looked as in love as Jade and Ryan. Remington was toddling and looked exactly like Alex. Collin looked so at home because this was his family now; it was his circle of people. Tessa and Collin didn’t let a moment pass that they were not aware of each other’s every move. They were never disrespectful to one another. Her needs and wants were always met, and his were too. They spent their Anniversary together out to dinner and dancing. Maggie and John stayed with the boys. They laughed, danced and listened to the band play. “Do you like this band?”
“I do, it’s nice, do you?” he kissed her and shook his head yes. They sat snuggled together at a table for the entire night, lost in the music and in each other. They went home that night and fed the boys and made love. “Tessa, I want to talk about the future.” He told her that after the boys had all their immunizations he wanted them to travel with him as a family. He missed them when they weren’t together, and thought that the boy’s exposure to different people and cultures would be beneficial to them. She agreed but wanted them to be enrolled in school here when they were older. Vacations and summers could be spent traveling. He agreed to slow down on travel and start trusting in his people more. They were on the same page with their children, their goals, and their dreams. Collin left for Haiti again the following month for two weeks. After this, he would spread out the time and travel one week every month instead of two weeks at a time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE It was the week before hunting season and the cabin was finally finished. Ryan was doing the work between work and life with three kids and a wife who was still as in love with him as the day they were married. Ashley had messaged Tessa and asked if it would be alright if they came and Tessa responded, - you’d better be here! *** Leia began tap dancing on the floor and whining. Collin came home, and Tessa was in the kitchen and the boys were busy playing on the floor. He was two hours early. “You’re home,” she kissed him, “You were supposed to be here in two hours, and we were going to pick you up.” She wrapped her arms around him and looked up. Regardless of how long it had been since she last saw him, be it an hour or two weeks she always wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. He was the man of her dreams, although she had never dreamt of him. Collin far surpassed any expectations she had of a husband, lover, partner, or friend. Tessa knew why, it was because he was a gift to her from God. God gave her more than she could have possibly hoped for. He gave her Collin. “I changed my plans, after the last time I think it’s best that you not know what flight I’m on,” he kissed her neck and smiled. She pulled away, “Collin that’s not alright. I need to know where you are, would you like it if I did that?” He looked frustrated, “No I guess not, I just don’t want you to worry again. I told Tomas.” “Well, you didn’t tell me,” she looked down. “Okay, I’m sorry I get it, I won’t do it again. Don’t be angry at me,” he pulled her into him and hugged her. The boys started gibbering, and she smiled, “They hear you.” Collin played with them on the floor while she cleaned up, “Where’s Joan?” “I gave her the day off. We had planned to come get you and everything is done around here,” Tessa said. “She would have cooked,” he said holding Matthew. “I like to cook,” she kissed his head. “Feeding time at the zoo,” she lifted CJ up. She fed him, and Collin took him to burp him and she fed Matthew they both fell asleep. *** “Still mad at me?” he asked when they walked out of the nursery. “I wasn’t mad,” she walked into the bedroom. “I need to shower, I’m gross. I didn’t expect you for a while.” “Me too,” he pulled his shirt off and then hers. “Collin, I feel nasty. I haven’t had you in two weeks you should give me a few minutes, I would like to shave my legs,” she turned red. “You have two minutes,” he laughed and kissed her. “No more and I’m coming in.”
She smiled and quickly scrubbed the most important parts and shaved her legs and arm pits. She was washing her hair when he got in. “Can I help?” he asked kissing her neck. “Yes,” she knelt down and looked up, “Massage the shampoo in and I will work on this.” He smiled as she pleasured him, he guided her head, and she let him. When he finished, she stood up. “Will you ever let me go first?” “I do… every time,” she laughed. “That’s not what I mean,” he rubbed the conditioner in her hair and kissed her neck. “Probably not then, I like to make you happy,” she turned around to rinsed. Collin knelt down, she sat on the edge of the tiled shower ledge, and he lifted her legs over his shoulders and devoured her. She grabbed his hair and pulled it as she exploded. When she finally caught her breath, he lifted her up and took her to the bed and was ready again. “And this may be why,” she laughed. “Condom.” *** They went for a walk with the boys, and Collin set Matthew on the ground and he cried. “He doesn’t like grass,” she laughed, “Neither of them do.” “Oh, sorry Matty.” The next day they had the boy’s well visits, both got shots and both were in the ninetieth percentile for weight and height. They would start on solid foods the next day. Collin and Tessa were at Camp, she had set up an area in the back that had a sign hung above the door, DOE CAMP, and he laughed. “That’s our designated area,” Tessa laughed, “Only little boys allowed, and you, no hunters.” He kissed her, “Do you think we should break it in?” “If you do it quickly and you’re prepared,” she pulled her clothes off. “Sounds good,” he stepped out of his pants, “But later it won’t be.” He grabbed her from behind and bent her over the counter. “Hold on, beautiful,” he pushed into her. He was a little rougher than usual and each time she screamed his name he went faster and harder until she came. He pumped into her a few more times and growled as he released. His hands dug into her hips and his cock twitched inside of her as he came. “Nice, Mr. Abraham.” The door opened. “Good God do you two ever stop?” Alex walked back out the door. Collin’s eyes widened, and she laughed, “We better get dressed.” *** Kendall came in with a bottle of wine, “Can you drink with me?” “I can have a glass or two after I feed the boys, right?” she asked Collin. He smiled and whispered in her ear, “Just don’t fall asleep on me tonight.” She laughed and hugged him, “If I do, you can take it anytime you want,” she raised her eyebrow and turned to Kendall. “To Doe Camp Kendall,” she took a sip, that’s gross. Jose and Kendall had split ways. They wanted different things, she wanted to be here, and he wanted someone to be on the road with him. They had never done anymore than kiss, but she cared for him. Tonight Kendall was on a mission to get drunk.
Ben walked in ad Tessa hugged him and dragged him in the back, “You have to meet my boys Ben.” Kendall stood up and looked at Ben, “Hi.” “Hi Kendall” Ben picked up Matthew and smiled, “You look like a Ross, little guy. Tessa he looks like you.” He looked at CJ, “And you’re all Daddy. You’ll like me way more than he does though.” Ben laughed, and CJ laughed. “See, he likes me,” Ben laughed and looked at Collin. Tessa put the boys down for a nap and she and Kendall walked out. Kendall stumbled, and Ben grabbed her. “Uh oh someone has had too much to drink,” Ben laughed. “Tessa… when did she get old enough to drink?” “Two years ago jackass,” Kendall pulled away. “She’s going through some things,” Tessa said and gave her a look. “Sorry… Ben right? Not Jackass,” Kendall laughed. “Jackass is fine,” Ben looked at her and smiled. The four played cards, sang, and laughed. “I don’t think I could handle that all the time,” Collin whispered, and they smiled at each other. Collin and Tessa went to feed the boys their first solid food and they did well. Joan was staying with them, Tessa finally felt comfortable enough with her. If Collin could trust her, she was sure she could as well. They jumped on the gator and headed back to camp. Lucas and Ashley were the last to show up. “Hey, look Lucas is here, with his wife” Ben laughed and so did Kendall. “Hello, Ben this is Ashley,” Lucas said sarcastically, “Ash this is Ben.” Ashley giggled, “Ben I have heard a lot about you, nice to put a face to the name.” “Don’t believe a word, I’m a good guy,” Ben winked to annoy Lucas. Kendall and Ben were singing and dancing when Collin and Tessa walked in, Lucas looked at Tessa and shook his head ‘No.’ “This is not okay,” Lucas said as he walked by. “He’s a good guy, give him a break,” Tessa laughed. “Tessa you haven’t drunk with me yet,” Kendall slurred. “I’ll sing with you,” Tessa ran up to them, and they all danced and made up silly words to songs. Tessa was into Van Morrison again, and she punched play on her iPod. Brown Eyed Girl became brown eyed squirrel and Moondance, moon walk. Ben did his best Michael Jackson impersonation as he sang. She made Collin dance to Crazy Love, and he smiled at her. “You're getting drunk, aren’t you?” “If I have to deal with this… you bet your ass I am,” he kissed her. “Slow down I don’t want you to fall asleep on me.” “You like that song? It reminds me of you,” Collin kissed her again. “You taste very yummy, you need to stop,” she said in a very seductive voice. “You don’t mean that,” he kissed her again. “No, but I think Kendall is going to need us here,” she watched her stumble through doe camp. He pressed his forehead to hers “Alright, but we’re not through with this.” They walked back, and Kendall was sitting on the floor laughing, all the older guys had either left or went upstairs to the loft. Alex, Phoebe, Jade, Ryan, Luke, Ashley, and Ben walked back, and they all sat and talked. “Wow,” Kendall said, “I’m not good at this drinking business.” “It’s genetic,” Alex chuckled and looked at Tessa. Tessa laughed. “So your sister says she wants to go hunting in the morning, I offered to teach her,” Ben grinned at
Tessa. “She isn’t a very good shot,” Tessa laughed. “I can teach her,” Ben smirked “Yes you can,” Kendall giggled. “You can’t be serious?” Lucas snapped. “Why?” Ben asked. “You fucked around with her sister!” “No, actually… we never fucked Lucas,” Ben laughed. “Lucas really you’re going to criticize him about sisters?” Tessa laughed. “Tessa you sucked his…,” Lucas said. She looked at Collin, who raised his hands in the air, “I wasn’t around then, but this I never heard.” “Well, there isn’t much to tell,” Ben laughed and so did Tessa. “Only because you got pulled over by the cop you passed when she was going…” Lucas started and all three of them laughed. “Yeah, that was funny shit huh, Tess.” “No, actually it wasn’t, you basically told the cop what I was doing, and you bumped fists.” “You did what?” Kendall asked looking at Tessa. “Go back to sleep or la la land,” Tessa said, “Nothing you need to know.” “You were such a hoe,” Kendall said and they laughed. “No, she wasn’t,” Ben said, “She was just dealing with an asshole. She was a good girl and high I think.” “Pissed, if I remember correctly,” Lucas laughed. “Shut up Lucas,” Tessa giggled and looked at Collin. “Are you okay?” “Tessa the more they talk, the more I realize how lucky you are,” Collin said and everyone laughed except Lucas and Ben. Tessa kissed him, “I love you.” “I know,” Collin smiled at her. “Who needs a drink?” Ben stood up laughing to himself. Ben didn’t wait for a response, he came back and handed out drinks and watched with a smile on his face. “You two are both idiots,” Ben said pointing to Lucas and Collin. “Ben,” Tessa snapped. “I’m way overstepping here but your wife Links can’t even stand the sight of alcohol right now. I don’t know what the girls looked like before, but they’re pretty damn big. Bigger than the pictures on your facebook page. Tessa you haven’t drank and those two boys should have drained them down a bit over the past almost five months,” Ben laughed. “Are you two pregnant?” “No!” Ashley and Tessa both said at the same time. “Okay,” Ben sat back smugly. “What are you the fucking pregnancy police?” Lucas snapped at him. “Nope, I just know boobs, they are my favorite things in the world,” Ben laughed, “The booze was just obvious.” Tessa looked at Collin and he at her, both their eyes widened. Tessa looked over to Lucas and Ashley, who were deep in thought. Ashley looked at her, they both smiled. “Tessa can you take me downtown I don’t know my way yet, I need to grab a few things.” “Sure, nobody else around here can drive,” Tessa said. “You need anything Collin?” “Yes,” he smiled. “But I can wait.”
*** Tessa and Ashley returned from the drugstore and drove to the house. Ashley used the bathroom and Tessa checked on the boys. Tessa went to the bathroom and they both sat and looked at each other and laughed. “Ready?” Tessa asked and stood up. “I think so.” They both walked into the bathroom. Tessa laughed and hugged Ashley, “I think we should go back to camp.” They walked in and Ben smiled, “So was I right?” “About what?” Collin and Lucas both asked. Tessa smiled at Collin, “Can we talk for a minute?” Ben laughed. “Luke, come with me?” Ashley laughed. They walked outside and grabbed a bag out of Tessa’s SUV. “Which one was yours?” Ashley asked nervously. “I don’t know but I don’t think it really matters much.” Collin caught on and smiled at Tessa. Lucas looked confused, Ashley handed him the stick and smiled. He kissed her and hugged her tightly. Tessa saw his face he looked worried. “It will be different this time,” she said quietly. “But she’s going to be a real pain in the ass,” Collin laughed. “Ashley, thank you,” he kissed her. “Are we good?” “Yes we are, so are they,” he looked over at Tessa and Collin, who were hugging. “No way?” “Yes way,” Tessa said and hugged him. Collin hugged Ashley, “Congratulations.” “You’re going to have a girl Links,” Collin laughed. “That shit’s not funny, Abraham.” “Yeah, it is, I have two boys, it’s really funny.” “And our boys are going to treat whoever they end up with just like their Daddy treats me,” Tessa elbowed Collin. “Sorry beautiful, I just thought it was funny.” Lucas and Collin were laughing and joking with one another and Tessa smiled. She looked at Ashley who appeared frightened. “Your wedding was quite eventful,” Tessa hugged her. “I guess so.” “What’s wrong?” “Just nervous about how he is going to act,” Ashley whispered. “Are you kidding me? He’ll be the best he’s ever been… I can almost guarantee it, take full advantage,” Tessa laughed. They walked in and everyone was laughing. “So Jade and Phoebe have something to share,” Ben said. “Three months,” Phoebe said. “Two months,” Jade said looking exhausted. Ben looked at Tessa, “You happy?” “Exhausted, but yes very happy,” Tessa smiled.
“How are you? When are you getting married?” she asked. “We broke things off.” “I’m sorry, what happened?” “I don’t share,” Ben winked. “Oh, she cheated?” “No, she wanted to share me,” he laughed. “She became very close with her college roommate.” “A girl?” “And you said no?” Lucas laughed. Ashley looked at him and scowled. “Sorry Ash… I’m just busting on him.” Collin laughed and shook his head. Tessa raised her eyebrows. “Really Tessa? As if I would be able to handle any more than you,” Collin laughed. Tessa looked away. “Wrong thing to say, Abraham,” Lucas chuckled. “She knows better,” Collin grabbed her and pulled her on his lap. “You're done breastfeeding. I want those back for a few months, I miss them,” Collin smiled, everyone heard him. “You should try breast milk, it’s good stuff,” Ryan laughed. “I have twins… I can’t take away from them.” “You haven’t even tried it?” Ben gasped. Collin laughed, “We have an entire freezer full of the stuff, liquid gold. Tastes amazing like… “ “Alright chatty, you’re going to be aggravated that you were so talkative tonight,” Tessa laughed at him. “You should talk,” Alex said laughing “I had never heard anything as loud as you when I opened that door this afternoon.” Tessa scowled at him and Collin laughed and nuzzled into her neck. “Phoebe… I’m sorry if my brother doesn’t make you scream,” Tessa said snidely. “Oh, he does,” Phoebe laughed. “Phoebe,” Alex warned. “Oh Alex, leave her alone,” Phoebe warned, “Or you can sleep on the couch tonight.” They all laughed. “Okay, I think we need to get Kendall back to our place,” Tessa looked at her sleeping on the floor. “I can get her,” Ben grinned at Tessa. “I shoot well, remember that tomorrow when you take her hunting, better than you,” Tessa said glaring at him. Collin picked up Kendall. “Hey, where is Ben?” Kendall laughed as she wrapped her arms around Collin’s neck. “I will see you in the morning Miss Ross,” Ben smiled. “Maybe… maybe not,” Kendall laughed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO Collin and Tessa spent the holidays with family and the boys’ first Christmas morning was just the four of them. She was tired from the pregnancy, but not as sick as she was before. She was playing piano again, and the boys loved to set and hit the keys with her. Collin loved to hear her play. He asked her once why she didn’t need to sing along to it like she did instrumental pieces. “Because I’m still making music just with my hands and not my voice, sounds a little narcissistic don’t it?” He traveled alone for a week a month and spent three at home. In the spring, she was tired all the time, and it worried him. “I have two little men who keep me overly busy and one very big man who exhausts me,” she smiled. They went to their OBGYN appointment and everything looked well, the ultrasound was the same day, and they decided to find out. “What’s your guess?” “Girl, I feel different,” she answered. “I think so, too.” They were both right. They were having a sweet little girl, and Tessa was very excited. “Now for nursery preparation,” she hugged him. “Whatever you want, is yours,” he said and hugged her. “But if you speak to Ashley, I want him to think we are having a boy.” “We have two, isn’t that enough worry?” Collin laughed and shook his head no. *** “You’re leaving me again,” she looked down. “Hey… just for a week. Tessa we can figure something else out if it’s too much.” “No, you love your work,” she hugged him. “But I love all this more.” Collin appeared torn. “Our plan is going to change. The traveling with the boys, that’s going to have to be pushed ahead.” “We’ll see. But say the word Tessa, and I’ll figure it out.” Tessa laughed, “Well… let’s see we could work at a hospital and be away from them for forty plus hours a week, or do what you love. My Mom saw my Dad less, and they ended up splitting up. We’re fine, just estrogen overload I think.” They took the boys to the park and played. They bathed them and watched them crawl around the house. They fed them and put them to bed. Maggie came over, and they went out to dinner and mini golfing. When they came home, the boys were both awake and crying. Both had low- grade fevers, and she knew they were teething again. Maggie had given them Tylenol, and Collin and Tessa rocked them to sleep. They went to bed exhausted. Tessa woke up to him kissing her, and she looked at the clock, it was two in the morning, “Collin… it’s very early.” “I know,” he said and started to caress her body. She laughed, “Sneak attack?” “Mmm hmm” he rolled her to her side and lifted her knee over him.
She smiled and kissed him. The next morning she made breakfast and dressed the boys as he finished up getting things ready for his trip. She called him out for breakfast. “Good morning little men, good morning beautiful,” Collin kissed them. She smiled “Good morning.” “You look very happy this morning,” Collin wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. “I woke up very happy — twice,” she giggled. “Did you get enough sleep?” he kissed her neck. “No, I’ll sleep tonight,” she looked behind her. “Oh Collin, look.” Matthew had pulled himself up and was cruising “Video Camera.” “Got it.” “Come on Matthew,” she said kneeling down he took three steps and fell on his butt, they clapped and so did he. “Did you get it?” “Yes I did. CJ my man your younger brother is showing you up,” Collin pulled him up, and he held his fingers “Come on buddy.” Collin laughed, “Not going to happen, huh?” “Tell Dada when you are ready,” Tessa laughed. “Dada,” CJ chanted. “At their own pace,” Tessa laughed as she videotaped them. “CJ will be telling Matthew what to do in no time,” Collin smiled. At ten months, Matthew was walking, and CJ was starting to talk. And the little one was quickly approaching. “I don’t want to miss a day,” Collin said sadly. She hugged him, “Whatever you need, we‘ll figure out.” The boys went down for their morning nap and so did Tessa and Collin. His flight left at eight that night, and she was taking him. Maggie and John were coming to watch the boys they left at five. Tessa and Collin told them that the baby was a girl; her Mom was very excited that Sydney would have someone to do girl things with and John shook his laughed. “Third child and a girl Tessa” he laughed, “Have fun with that, you and Aunt Josie, keep that in mind.” “Thanks a lot Dad,” she laughed. *** “You know it gets harder to leave you guys every time, it’s supposed to get easier,” he said frustratedly. “I’m sorry Collin,” Tessa hugged him. “It’s not your fault Tessa, my choice.” “Well, another year and we can all go together, dependent on the places you go. Collin do you get to choose?” “The whole team chooses, but I could try to sway it Tessa that is a great idea,” Collin smiled. “Well, it was a question, but I will take credit,” Tessa smirked. “So maybe… forget it — I have a week to try to figure it out,” Collin kissed her hand. They stopped and had dinner, and Tessa felt better, not that she doubted his desire to be with them but because he looked happier. She didn’t like to see him sad. She kissed him goodbye and watched as his plane took off. She walked to the SUV exhausted. “Is it easier to say goodbye now?” Maggie asked. “No, and it’s getting harder for him, which makes it worse,” she said. “How were my babies tonight?” “Perfect,” Maggie said.
Tessa went up and laid on the bed in their room she fell asleep. She woke when he called and so did the CJ. “Hello,” she whispered. “Hello, are you in the boy’s room?” CJ started babbling Dada and Collin laughed. “Come here buddy you’re going to wake up your brother,” she said softly and Matthew started babbling dada too, she laughed. “Okay let’s go you,” she dropped the phone when she picked him up and laughed, “Sorry.” “Was that Matthew?” “Yes, and you didn’t miss it.” “Can you put me on speaker?” “Yes just give me a second,” she was laughing as she juggled babies and the phone. Collin talked to his son’s, and they looked at the phone like it was magic. They hung up on him once, and he called back. “Sorry, they were playing with your picture,” Tessa giggled. “You need to sleep,” Collin spoke softly. “I will… their teeth are probably bothering them,” She said and rocked them. “How was your flight?” “Interesting,” Collin said. “What’s that mean?” she asked curiously. “Remember the girl from the first day we met?” “How could I forget?” “She is a flight attendant and was on the flight, it was very uncomfortable.” “Oh,” she said quietly. “Are you jealous?” he chuckled. “Should I be?” she snapped. He laughed, “No.” “It’s not funny,” she said quietly. “I get to rub elbows with your ex several times a year. I was on a six- hour flight with her and you’re jealous,” he laughed again. “I know how much you like airplanes,” she said annoyed. “I like you on airplanes,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Great.” “Tessa, I love you.” “You too,” she said and he laughed, “You know it’s not that funny.” “I’m sorry,” he said trying to mask his amusement. “No, you’re not but let me tell you why you should be. My ass has been pregnant for almost two years, hormones raging, puking, exhausted, and you all fine looking and well… just you. So if, you get jealous over them you’re a jackass. I’m mad now and tired, and I’m going to sleep. I’m glad you’re there safe, are you in for the night or are you traveling more?” “Tessa, don’t be mad I’m sorry,” Collin tried to calm her down. “I accept your apology, but sorry doesn’t always make it better. Are you in for the night?” “No, I’m going to the village. I slept on the plane,” he said softly. “Well let me know when you get there, please. Say goodnight to Daddy,” she said. “Collin you’re on speaker tell them goodnight.” “Goodnight boys, please tell Mommy that I am sorry I upset her, I love you all goodnight,” he said softly. “We love you,” she said, and her voice broke.
“Tessa don’t,” he said. “Sorry, I’m just tired. We will call you tomorrow, please text me and let me know when you get to the village.” “I love you,” he said. “We love you, be safe, goodnight,” Tessa hung up. *** John came up the next day and rototilled the garden Tessa had asked for, and the boys played in the fenced in area he had put up earlier that morning. Tessa watched as Leia continued walking around the fence as if she were on guard. “Thanks, Dad,” she said and hugged him. “You really going to plant this whole thing?” “Yep,” she smiled. “I have a week before Collin comes home, and I want to be busy.” “Alright just don’t do it all in one day, if you need help give us a call,” he went and played with the boys. Her phone rang. “Hello Collin.” “Hello Tessa, you sound better. Did you get any sleep?” “Yes I did. I’m sorry about last night.” “So am I.” “Listen, I shouldn’t have been rude to you. I know we love each other, and I also want you to tell me things like that. So by being bitchy you second guessed yourself and that was wrong on my part. Thank you for telling me. That said the boys are playing with Grandpa John right now. He came here very early this morning and made a surprise for them.” “I love you so damn much Tessa,” he said as if it physically hurt and took a deep breath, “What did Grandpa make?” “He fenced in a small area for them to play in,” she smiled at John. “Tell him what else you made me do,” John yelled. “What else Tessa?” “You’ll see when you get home,” she said. “It’s really no big deal.” “But you won’t tell me?” “No, not yet.” she said, “Hey boys Daddy is on the phone say hi dada.” They both babbled dada and John laughed. “Hi baby boys. I miss you,” Collin sounded emotional. “You’re going to make me cry if you keep sounding like that,” Tessa whispered in the phone. “They’re getting so big so fast,” he laughed. “I sound like a girl.” She laughed, “You better get your head in the game, Abraham.” “It is, I will talk to you later, I love you Tessa.” Tessa planted pumpkin and sunflower seeds, and lots of them, she wanted pictures of her three little loves surrounded by them this fall. She planted zucchini, squash, cucumber and tomatoes. She fed the boy's lunch, and they took a nap. When she woke up, she was sore and laughed thinking she was getting too old for this. *** The four girls got together that night to exchange info. They all brought a dish to pass and met at Doe camp.
Jade and Phoebe were having boys and Tessa and Ashley were having girls. Tessa was shocked that Lucas was capable of creating a girl, he was the king of finishing doggy style, but, of course, she didn’t mention that. They ate, and the kids played near the pond. Tessa took lots of pictures, and Jade suggested they do a maternity shoot. “What’s that?” Ashley asked. “Hot Prego pictures,” Jade laughed, “That’s how I told Ryan about baby three, Tessa’s idea.” They planned to meet the next night. *** Tessa finished the garden and was exhausted again but when the boys slept she started researching ideas about places in the US that they may be able to help. She found several and wrote all her ideas down, she wanted to focus on healthcare and women and children’s empowerment. She spent several hours on it and even applied for some grants. She wanted to see the response she got before mentioning it to Collin. “Hello Tessa,” Collin sounded tired. “Hello Collin,” she said exaggerating his tone and laughed, “Are you tired?” “I’m actually. It’s been kind of hectic here.” “You’re safe right?” “Yes I am.” “Then go to sleep and call me later. I want you rested when I see you in five days.” “Really? Why?” he asked sounding better. “Because I miss you very much,” she said playfully. “Tessa, I’m missing you too,” he said, and she heard a smile in his voice. “So we got together and exchanged baby news tonight.” “And?” “Phoebe and Jade are having boys and Ashley, and I are having girls.” “Lots of Ross boys,” he laughed. “And a little princess for them to all look after, by the way, what do you think of a white crib like the one you picked out for the boys?” “I like it, antique white?” he asked imposing his idea. “More like a worn Cape Code kind of beachy white, I want her room to be beachy,” she said, “Does that make sense?” “Perfect sense, will you let me work on that?” “Sure.” “So you miss me very much still?” “Uh huh,” she smiled. “Please tell me all about what you miss,” he said softly. They spent an hour on the phone, and he seemed happy. “I love you beautiful.” “I love you,” she said, “You do know how hot you are, right?” “So you tell me.” “And so I’ll show you in a few days.” *** Tessa, Jade, Phoebe, and Ashley did the photo shoot as Joan fed the kids. They had fun, Ashley even loosened up. Tessa ran into camp and grabbed the Doe Camp sign. They stood in a line and bared their
bellies. Ashley and Tessa wore pink camo ribbons with a bow wrapped around their bellies and Phoebe and Jade wore green camo. They set up the tripod and did shots of them together. Tessa and the girls went to her house, and Joan had the kids watching TV. Remington was asleep on Lukies lap, Riley and Jackson were asleep on the couch, and CJ and Matthew slept on Joan’s lap. Tessa took a bunch of pictures and then took the boys upstairs so Joan could leave and laid them down. They went into the office and went through the photos. Kendall walked in, “Whatcha doing?” “Come see,” Tessa said. “They’re amazing,” Kendall said. “You should do Christmas cards from Doe Camp to all the hunters with that or open season two invites,” they all laughed. “So what are you doing here?” Tessa asked. “Well, I kind of wanted to talk to you,” Kendall said smiling. “Ben?” she asked. “Yep,” Kendall blushed. “You didn’t?” Tessa said. “No, Hoe,” Kendall said laughing. “But I, well he and I really like each other and I want to go visit him on my next trip, so how do you feel about that?” “Kendall I love Ben, and I love you, the thing with him was high school and a long time ago, like a hundred years almost. I would love for you two to be together,” she said. “His idea of what relationships should be is perfect, well then anyway, and you Kendall would never be bored, he is absolutely perfect for you and you for him.” “So what would you say if he and I became boyfriend and girlfriend?” Kendall asked and grinned. “I would say I am so happy for both of you,” Tessa hugged her. “Safe to come in?” Ben peeked around the door. “Yes Ben, I’ve missed your face,” Tessa grabbed his cheeks and hugged him. “So you’re giving us your blessing?” “Yes and a warning, if you ever hurt her I will shoot you through the heart. Oh and she and you can both wait right?” “Tessa, you were banging Lucas for years and look how that turned out, I think I can wait,” Kendall said Tessa’s jaw dropped, “Oh God Ashley… I’m so sorry, Tessa sorry.” “You had sex with Lucas?” Ashley asked sounding surprised. Tessa looked at her shocked and Ashley laughed. “Ashley I’m sorry,” Tessa said. “Kendall,” Ben scolded. “Don’t scold her,” Tessa snapped at Ben. “Don’t yell at me, Tess,” Ben laughed. Tessa shook her head and started laughing so hard she cried. She sat down and felt her belly and her mood completely changed. “Everything okay, Tess?” Ben asked. “Yeah, I think, so I just need to sit for a minute,” Tessa grabbed her phone to time what she was terrified were contractions. “Tessa, is everything okay?” Jade asked, “Because I'm overdue and if you go before me I will freak out.” “No, I ‘m sure its fine,” she said and her face showed otherwise. “Alright you need to go to the damn hospital,” Ben said. “Kendall, I don’t do babies yet can you?” “Ben I’m fine, I could use some water, I think I just overdid it today. Phoebe can you please call mom?” Tessa looked nervous even though she was trying not to show it.
Maggie and John came right down, and they took Tessa to the hospital. Her blood pressure was elevated, and she was having contractions. “Dad could you give me my phone please, it’s in my bag.” “Are you going to call Collin?” John asked. “I’m going to check on the boys. I’ll call him if I need to,” Tessa warned him. She went to call Kendall, and her phone rang, it was Collin. “Hello, Collin how are you?” “I’m good how’re you beautiful?” “Well, I want you to listen and not freak out okay?” She told him where she was and that she didn’t know anything yet but as soon as the doctor came in she would put him on speaker, and he would know when she did. “I’ll wait, who is there with you?” he asked calmly. “Mom and Dad.” “Are you alright?” he asked just as calmly. “Scared. Mom could you give me a minute alone, please? Sorry. I have some good news. Kendall and Ben are dating.” “That’s great,” Collin said and she heard him slamming drawers. “Collin, this could be nothing stop packing.” “Ok.” The doctor came in, and Tessa put it on speaker, “She’s showing signs of pre-eclampsia, although there was no protein in her urine, her blood pressure is high. We’re going to keep her in the hospital and continue to check her urine for a few more hours. She’ll then be home on bed rest until she delivers.” “Dr. Brown this is Collin, I would like you to keep my wife in the hospital until I come and pick her up. She’s stubborn, and bed rest won’t work unless someone ties her ass down in it. If that’s a problem in regards to insurance not covering it, I don’t give a fuck I’ll pay for it. Tessa keep your ass in bed, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll call Joan and give her instructions,” Collin was slamming doors. “Dr. Brown is there any way that I caused this to happen?” She asked knowing the answer. “No, it just sometimes happens.” “Did you hear that Collin? I didn’t do this!” she yelled. “Regardless I’ll be picking you up,” he snapped. “Like hell you will. I’m going home as soon as I can. I’m so pissed at you right now. Have a safe trip… hopefully, it’s a full- service fucking flight!” she hung up. “Tessa you need to calm down,” Dr. Brown said. “Blood pressure remember? I’m going to give you some Meds for your blood pressure and then some to rest.” “No, I want to go home,” Tessa started to cry. John and Maggie walked in, and John was on the phone. “Tessa, don’t cry,” Maggie hugged her. “I’m so mad Mom,” she hugged her. “He thinks it’s my fault.” “No honey… I’m sure he’s just scared,” Maggie soothed her. “Well, that’s great — what does he think I’m having a great time here?” she cried. Her phone rang, and she ignored his call. “Tessa, he needs to know what is going on,” Maggie said. “No, he needs to be supportive, and I need to calm down and that certainly isn’t helping.” The nurse put meds in her IV, and she immediately felt it. “Nice,” she smiled. “Mom I’m high, please go take care of my babies. I need them to see you if they wake up. Ben will have them bouncing off the walls.” “She’s asleep now, yes you heard right she is pretty out of it,” John said to Collin.
Tessa woke up, and her eyes were heavy, she started to stand up and take out her IV. “Tessa don’t do that,” John said “Daddy, please take me home,” she pleaded, and he pushed the call button. “I’m going home I’ll sign whatever I need to.” The nurse pushed more medication in Tessa’s IV and Tessa laughed, “Did my husband request that?” “No, Dr. Brown did, go to sleep Tessa,” Rosie told her. When she woke up, she rubbed her eye’s and tried to stand up. “Hello, Tessa.” She closed her eyes and lay back, “Hello how was your flight?” “It was fine. How are you feeling?” he asked and lay on the bed next to her and pulled her close to him. “Great, how are the boys?’ she asked. “Your Mom said they were still asleep, apparently Ben played with them until they passed out,” Collin rubbed her cheek with his nose. “Good, when can I go home?” she asked pulling away. “Dr. Brown will be back in about two hours from now and we’ll find out then,” he kissed her. She turned away and lay on her side away from him. He took a deep breath and laid back. “Tessa I was scared. I was a long way from you, and I wanted to make sure you were alright. I’m sorry I upset you, but I’m not going to apologize that I wanted you here until I knew you were going to be alright here. So I’m sorry… sort of.” “I sort of accept your apology,” she said quietly. “Then please move back over here,” he said calmly. “I wouldn’t want my blood pressure to rise. Then you might feel it’s your fault,” Tessa said dryly. “Tessa, come here,” Collin pulled her to face him. “I’m scared,” Tessa whispered quietly because if only he could hear her it wasn’t real. “Me too. Me too, please rest Tessa,” he kissed her and rubbed her back. *** They went home, and Collin took care of Tessa, the boys, and Leia. She was on bed rest and could be active for only an hour a day. Which he smirked about and made sure the doctor clarified that sexual activity was alright. Jade and Phoebe both gave birth to their sons a week apart. Tessa was very upset she was not able to be there, and Collin knew it. She missed Ashley’s shower but made up for it in gifts for their little girl. She played piano a lot and the boys were walking. She knew she was missing the last few weeks with just the two boys, and it made her very sad. Tessa’s blood pressure spiked at thirty- six weeks and everything indicated that Tessa and Collin’s little girl was ready for the world. Collin and Tessa went to the hospital that day, and she was put on a Pitocin drip and they broke her water. If she hadn’t delivered within twenty- four hours, she would have a cesarean. It hit her hard after only two hours. Her contractions were one on top of the other, but she was not dilating fast. He rubbed her back and talked to her and soothed her and did everything he could think of, but she was in pain. “Tessa, it’s alright to get something to relax you, or to stop the pain,” Collin said several times throughout the day. She didn’t talk much at all she concentrated on her breathing and focused through the pain. It was nine hours straight until she finally was dilated eight centimeters. She finally broke down and cried when he went to use the bathroom. She held a pillow over her face and screamed, and he walked out.
“Tessa don’t you think that enough is enough? You’re tired,” Collin tried to remain calm as he rubbed her back. She shook her head ‘no.' An hour later she asked him to get the doctor, she came in and checked Tessa she was finally ten centimeters after twelve hours of horrible labor. She pushed for an hour, and she cried when their daughter was born, she had blonde curls and big blue eyes. She weighed six pounds and six point seven ounces and was nineteen and three- quarter inches long. She was beautiful; her lips were full and lovely. She looked like their Matthew but softer. She held her and cried. “I love you girls so much,” he said, and a tear rolled down his face. Tessa kissed him and held his face to hers. Harper Ann Abraham was here and safe and healthy. Tessa’s blood pressure was still dangerously high, and she was to stay in labor and delivery when they took Harper to the nursery. She sobbed knowing that she wouldn’t be able to keep her with them for her first night. Harper hadn’t even latched on, Tessa was a mess and Collin held her until the sleep medicine kicked in. He went between the nursery and her room the entire night. Tessa slept, only waking once when he wasn’t there. The next morning she woke, and he looked exhausted. “Collin you look tired, you should go home and sleep,” she whispered in his ear. “Good morning,” he kissed her. “I’m not going anywhere. Harper is doing very well, you’re going to be moved, your blood pressure is down, and your parents are going to be bringing the boys up as soon as I give them the word.” “I didn’t see them much yesterday,” tears formed in her eyes. “Tessa, they’re fine, you’re fine, and our little girl is perfect. Don’t be sad,” he held her gently. “And how are you?” “Much better now,” he said. “Would you please rest?” “If you do.” *** They went home two days later, and she was so glad to be there. Over the next two weeks, Tessa was overwhelmed with company and Collin’s constant need to ask her if she was alright. “I’m going to take a walk,” she said, “Alone.” Tessa walked to the pond with Leia and sat on the dock, she was happy with her life, but somehow she felt empty. She didn’t know why and it made her mood very poignant. She sat and cried for a long time holding her knees. She heard the Gator and wiped her face she saw Collin walk up and she continued to look at the water. He looked at her and wondered what was going on, but for the past few days she had been very distant. He sat beside her and looked at the water and said nothing. She looked at him and buried her head in her knees. He just sat beside her feeling helpless and tired. It started raining, and she continued to sit. Tessa kept her eyes closed and tilted her head back. He watched her and remembered the first time he told her he loved her, how she danced in the rain and looked so beautiful. He was smiling at her when she finally looked at him, and he looked down and shook his head. He stood up and reached out his hand, and she took it, he pulled her up and hugged her. “You ready to go back?” “No, she said holding him tightly. Collin rubbed her back as they stood in the rain. He took her arms and lifted them in the air and twirled her around, and she laughed. “Tessa, I love you,” he yelled with his hands in the air. Tessa giggled and hugged him. “I love you.” They walked back to the house in the rain leaving the gator by the pond. When they walked in arm in
arm, they had more company. They didn’t let go of each other they were soaked. They changed and came back down just as Harper woke up. Tessa took her in the family room and fed her as Ben and Kendall talked about trip plans and Jade and Ryan fixed the dinner they had brought. Alex and Phoebe held little Liam, Lucas and Ashley stopped over with a gift as well. Lucas went to pet Leia, and she growled, “Seriously Dog… I thought we were friends now.” Leia sat in front of him and he pet her. “Much better Dog,” Lucas laughed. “Did you like your book, Collin?” Jade asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Collin looked confused. “Tessa didn’t give it to you yet, oops sorry,” Jade laughed. Tessa walked out burping Harper and smiled, “We’ve been a little busy.” Collin had the boys at the table, and he turned and looked at her. “Yeah, a little,” he laughed. “Have you two decided on a name?” “No, it is a little hard coming up with a girl’s name with Lucas,” Ashley looked annoyed. He put his head down and Tessa tried not to smile. “You never banged a Harper, did you Collin?” Tessa asked. “I don’t bang Tessa and no.” “Bang,” CJ yelled. Everyone laughed and he and Matthew started chanting, “Bang Bang Bang…” Tessa giggled and smiled, “You boys will not be doing that either.” “I don’t know Tessa, looks like Lucas’s little girl will be the only one in town they aren’t related to,” Collin laughed, “Sorry Ashley.” “That would be fine with me,” Lucas looked at Ashley like he was pissed,”What do you expect Lucas?” “She’ll be a good girl,” Lucas said. Tessa laughed “This is not funny,” Lucas scowled at Tessa. “Maybe she’ll like Harper,” Lucas said and laughed amused by himself. They all laughed, except Collin. Tessa looked at him and smiled. “She’s my daughter, we have no worries. Let’s help you figure this out Ashley.” “Please do,” Ashley said encouraging her. “Alright, no Maria, no Chantal, no Amy, no Leah, no Sally, no Tina or Tammy. No Carly, no Jamie, no Madison, no Sadi, no Jessie, no Ashley or Tessa and I’m not sure about the football groupies or San Francisco what was her name?” Tessa asked. “Tipper,” Lucas said looking down. “No Tipper, nice name” Tessa laughed, “I think that’s about it.” “How do you know all their names, I just got a number?” Ashley rolled her eyes. “Oh, I had the pleasure of meeting all of them actually, now that we have met,” she laughed. “All crazy except you, I got beat up by how many Luke?” “Four,” Lucas looked down shaking his head. “Yes and three were in the same hour,” Tessa laughed. “The three?” “Yes,” “Did you try to help her?” “She took care of it herself, she’s very mean,” Lucas laughed. Collin sat next to her with the boys and rubbed her back “And I thought my life was rough.”
She sat back against him and smiled. “I think you should consider an A name, isn’t that your thing you and your sister and the girls are all A names right” Tessa smiled and looked at Harper. “Ava,” Ashley whispered. “Ava?” Lucas asked. “Yes why?” Ashley scowled. “No, I like it, Ava Links,” he said and hugged her, “I like it, but when we have a boy, it has to be an L name.” “Agreed, Ava it is,” Ashley said and kissed Luke. *** Tessa showed Collin the responses she received about starting an organization right here in the United States. He was amazed, and they worked hard to get it off the ground. The boys were now jabbering a lot and Tessa and Collin enjoyed them so much. They were gentle with Harper, and it reminded Tessa of her husband and the way he was with her. They had been married less than two years, together less than two years, and she felt more comfortable, loved, secure, respected, and desired than she had ever in her whole life. They worked in the States for the next year, and when Harper was one and the boys were almost two they took their first trip out of the country. Collin had decided they would go back to Nicaragua so that she could see what had become of it. The village had flourished, they were self- sufficient. The girl, Alejandra, they sent to college was now in charge of the clinic. She was very grateful to them, and she was helping others realize what they could do with a little help she could give. It wasn’t about money it was about the effort. When they tucked the kids in that first night, she hugged him. “Collin I get it.” “I know Tessa,” he kissed her. “I want to do what we had planned before. I want our kids to see all this and understand that what we have is a blessing and… “she started and looked up at him and smiled. “I know beautiful, I know you,” Collin kissed her and stepped back. “I get it too, the treasure that family truly can be. My heart, all four chambers are more full than I ever thought possible.” They walked out of the room they once occupied that was now full of portable cribs. He sat in the chair and pulled her onto his lap. He lifted her shirt above her head and looked at her breast. “Thank God they’re mine again.” She pulled his off and kissed down his belly and smiled up at him. He slowly shook his head from side to side and smirked. He lifted her up and kissed her and laid her on the ground. “No fair,” she laughed. Collin kissed her and his hands were on her pleasing her, within seconds she didn’t think of anything but the two of them. Not only the physical ecstasy she felt every time they became one, but the unbreakable bond between two people who loved each other truly and deeply. Two people whose delight was truly in loving one another. Whose bliss was in watching their children grow, whose joy came from knowing that no matter what they came from or where they were going it was each other that mattered the most in this life. They were blessed.
THE WRAPPED SERIES
WRAPPED IN SILK Book 1
CHAPTER ONE “Good night London, I love you.” Emma kissed her daughter’s milky white cheek and pushed her brown hair out of her eyes as she tucked her into bed. Her perfect little girl, who she would move mountains for, and has done exactly that for the past seven years. Emma spent two years taking fertility drugs in the hopes that someday she would have children. Something she assumed would come easily, London hadn’t come easy. For years she felt like less of a woman and less of a wife. She cried each month when she menstruated. She was devastated each time she miscarried. She silently mourned, hiding in the bathroom, holding her stomach wanting to hide the anger and self- loathing she felt from those she smiled brightly for every day. It always surprised her that no one could tell how she was feeling. When Emma miscarried with her first pregnancy, all her soon- to- be ex-husband Troy could do was give her a cold hug — the kind you give an ex or an old acquaintance, one you really didn’t like all that much. He acted as if he could have cared less, but was adamant that they wouldn’t adopt. After they had London, Emma wanted more children, but he’d refused. Before they married, they had discussed children, but after marriage he said he didn’t want them. Troy enjoyed his friends and her driving him from party to party. Or picking him up from golf, or whatever activity he had decided to do that always involved drinking. Before they married Emma had known Troy through college, all four years. Although he changed as soon as they said, “I do.” His partying didn’t change, but his need for all things except family did. The final straw was when she found out he’d cheated. Emma had checked through cell phone bills and credit card statements and found information that looked suspicious. She’d taken his phone while he slept and made calls to two of the numbers. When they’d answered she wouldn’t say anything – the women would say his name with a knowing smile in their voice. The next morning she confronted him about it. Troy looked at her not even denying it and only said, “So leave if that’s what you want to do.” He would come home and eat the meal she’d made. When she’d give him his food he’d never say anything more than thank you, he would sit on the couch with their daughter, never even looking in her direction. One evening, three weeks after finding out that he’d cheated, London was in bed and she’d had enough. “I don’t like you drinking in front of her every day,” Emma finally confronted him. “I don’t care,” he replied coldly rolling his eyes at her. “No kidding,” Emma quietly replied. “I can’t stand you, I have to drink to be around you. I haven’t liked you for a very long time!” “Well that makes two of us,” she laughed. “Then fucking leave,” he screamed. “You leave,” she demanded. “Oh that’s right if you did, that would mean you’d have to get off your fat ass,” Troy spewed at her. Sure Emma had gained weight over the years, but he’d never mentioned it before. It stung. “You know what, I agree— our daughter certainly deserves better than a miserable drunk father and a fat mother. So get out,” she yelled. Troy left that day and was gone for two weeks. He sure wasn’t happy, when Emma filed papers for custody.
“Thanks for the papers,” Troy said as she answered the phone. “I told you they were coming, I wanted us to work it out and you wouldn’t do it. What did you expect?” Emma asked. She had tried to sound strong, but the nervous quaked in her voice giving her away. Troy wanted to come home, but she said no. Emma found a place for her and London to move into because she couldn’t afford the house alone. Emma usually stayed at home and watched kids before and after school and a few over the summer while Troy worked at the bank twelve hours a day. He hadn’t wanted her to work, and she hated being scrutinized over every dollar she spent. She had always worked until London was born and she didn’t want to miss a moment...this way she didn’t have to. Troy and Emma went to court and he agreed to overnight Friday to Saturday and one night a week taking her to dinner. Emma felt it best that he not see her just every other weekend and this way she would only be away one night and not two in a row. Emma moved into a half a house just inside the Cayuga County. She continued watching children and submitted résumé after résumé. She needed a job with benefits, and no one seemed to want to hire someone who had been out of the work force for seven years. She was going to be substitute teaching during the upcoming school year to make extra money. *** London was used to taking end of the summer mini- vacations and Emma scraped enough money up to get away for three nights. They decided on going to New York City, to sightsee and shop and she knew they would have fun. She wasn’t prepared to let Troy take London for three nights alone. The court had granted him visitation but Emma knew that it was only a matter of time before he screwed up. She’s prepped London on what to do in certain circumstances. She hated that her baby had to be the adult in the situation. With no way around the court’s decision, she’d have to find a way to deal with it. Emma walked into the bathroom of the hotel and wanted to scream. She sat on the ground and cried into a white hotel towel. This was not what she expected after eleven years of marriage — and knowing that he would be coming down for the long weekend to take London to the shore for three nights almost drove her over the edge. Three nights without her daughter, were going to feel like a lifetime. Emma packed her bags and got things ready for the next day. She had gotten London a cell phone so that she could keep in touch, but really it was because she wanted London to be able to call if Troy drank. Per their separation agreement, neither was allowed to drink when they had London. This was easy for Emma; she hadn’t been able to enjoy an adult beverage since she could remember. But for Troy, it may be harder. *** Emma opened the hotel room door and Troy looked her up and down. Troy was handsome, five foot eleven inches tall, and was built well. He had dark brown, perfectly groomed short hair and blue eyes. He was dressed in jeans that were a bit tighter than he used to wear and a button up shirt with some sort of winged design. Emma smiled and stepped back, allowing him to come in. “Hey, London,” Troy walked into the suite and looked around, “Nice place Emma, I see my child support isn’t going to waste.” Handsome, just until he opens his mouth, Emma thought. Emma didn’t respond, “Give me a hug,” she said to her daughter, “Back seat and make sure you have your seat belt on. I love you more,” she whispered in her ear. “No, I love you more,” London smiled. “Not possible,” they both laughed, “Call me when you get there, have fun. Sunscreen, remember
sunscreen.” “I think I can handle it,” Troy snapped as they walked out. *** Emma lay in the hotel bed and sobbed. When she couldn’t cry anymore she decided to take a run in Central Park. Since her separation she had lost thirty pounds and was back to her weight before she had London. She loved running, walking, biking, or anything that kicked those endorphins into overdrive. She needed it right now. She had three hours before check out. So she tucked her phone into her bra and threw a hat and glasses on and headed out the door. Emma jogged around the park and looked at all the people. There were so many. Coming from a small town, it was nice to blend in. She wasn’t stopped by people she knew asking her how she was doing; even those who had, never had a conversation with her about her personal life before thought it was appropriate to ask now. It was unbelievable the audacity of some people. She knew many just felt sorry for her, but that didn’t make it any more comfortable. Her phone rang and she slowed down and answered. “Hey sweet girl, is everything alright?” she asked breathlessly. “Yep, we’ll be there in thirty minutes, I just wanted to say hi,” London giggled. “Well hi to you, too” she laughed. They hung up, and Emma started running harder, she didn’t want to cry. She was always so stunned when she talked to London on the phone, London sounded so much younger. Emma chose to focus on what was happening now. Emma would be checking out of her hotel at eleven and going to stay with her college roommate. They hadn’t seen each other in years. Lila worked as a publicity agency, was single and loved her very social lifestyle. They’d always had such a great time together up until Troy came into Emma’s life. God just run faster, harder she thought as she picked up the pace. *** Brody Hines opened the door to his hotel room and grabbed the newspaper. The front page of the paper had the news of his separation plastered on it, still after several months. He picked up the paper and looked at his soon to be ex-wife with another man and tore it in half and threw it out. He’d been blindsided, he never would have thought after three years of marriage she would have done this to him. He didn’t even know she was unhappy. Ariel was a model and traveled a lot. They both enjoyed the lifestyle that their professions afforded them. Brody hated his personal life being more important to his fans than his art. His song Blue Love had been at the top of the charts for five weeks, and it brought a lot of unwanted attention. Brody was six foot three and one hundred and ninety seven pounds. He had thick brown hair and light blue eyes. It wasn’t easy hiding from the media who pounced whenever they saw him. It was even harder not telling them to fuck off whenever they got in his face. Brody’s new publicist tried to impress upon him that it would hurt his career. Brody was trying to listen and consider her recommendation, and it wasn’t easy. He was thankful that he and Ariel didn’t have children, which he’d wanted right away and she’d wanted to wait. It was awful having the whole world watch as your life was falling apart, just waiting for you to break so that they could pounce. He grabbed a hat and glasses and walked out of his room and took the service elevator. He exited out the back of the hotel where none of those annoying photographers would be. He needed to get out of there. He hadn’t felt like himself for weeks now, and he knew it was because he was held up in that room. He was going to run and hoped that his face now full of stubble, the dark glasses, and baseball cap would disguise him.
*** Emma’s phone rang and she stopped and answered. “We’re here Mommy!” London said cheerfully, “It’s so nice right on the beach and we’re going to look for shells!” “That’s fantastic; can you find one for me?” Emma asked. “I’ll find two,” she laughed. “Do you have sunscreen on?” Emma asked knowing Troy would have forgotten. “Nope — Dad! I need sunscreen!” “Shit,” she heard Troy say in the background. “I love you more,” Emma said. “We love each other more, Mom,” London’s voice sang. “Okay have fun, call me later,” Emma felt tears, she ran harder as the tears fell. Come on she’s having fun, she thought. Emma rounded a corner and ran right into a man. She was knocked flat on her back. He knelt down on the grass next to her and helped her sit up. She couldn’t breathe; the wind was knocked out of her. Being unable to take a breath made the tears slow down. “I’m so sorry,” he said noticing her tears. “Are you alright?” Emma caught her breath and wiped her face and laughed nice accent she thought, “I’m fine. Sorry I wasn’t paying attention,” Emma saw his face; she was looking at the hottest man she had ever seen. His lips were full, teeth perfect, his jaw strong, and his hair looked like he’d just rolled out of bed and definitely not just fresh from sleep. “Alright,” he said uncomfortably as he picked up his hat and pulled it down over his head, “You know who I am, that’s why you’re laughing…” “Nope,” she said, “I’m laughing because I didn’t expect the accent, and more so because I’m on my butt in Central Park and no one seems to notice.” *** Brody liked her eyes and smile. He was unsure whether or not to trust that she was being honest. But something in her eyes was calming and made him feel better than he had in weeks, “So you don’t know me from TV, magazines, or newspapers?” “Let’s see...if you are not on Disney or Nickelodeon I don’t have a clue,” Emma wiped her hands on her shorts. He smiled with relief and amusement as he offered his hand to help her up and she took it, “Thanks. So who are you?” she asked. “You’ll figure it out someday,” and ran off. Damn, I hope so, he thought. *** After running back to the hotel and showering she was headed over to Lila’s. Her GPS had become her arch rival, so when pulling out of the parking garage she checked the yellow paper she’d scribbled the directions on. A little while later she was getting the key Lila had left with the doorman, then getting off the elevator on the tenth floor. She let herself in, set her bag down looked around the apartment. It was unbelievably beautiful, she thought as she walked around. She found a note on the counter. Emma, I will be at work until about seven. Make yourself at home. Then we’re going out, you should meet me at The Spotted Pig 314 West 11 th street, we can have drinks. Take a cab. See you at eight, Lila
Emma looked at her phone and it was only one in the afternoon. She had seven hours to spend alone, a
very unwelcome seven hours. This isn’t a good idea, if I were home at least I could clean or something she thought. She preferred anything to being left alone to think about what had happened over the past year. *** Emma walked in to the bar and saw Lila. She smiled and hugged her. “You look extraordinary,” Lila said hugging her back, “Have a seat.” Emma took a deep breath and sat down at the table. She met some of Lila’s clients; she really didn’t know them but enjoyed the adult conversation. She excused herself and went to the bathroom secretly willing her phone to ring. As she washed her hands it rang. “Hi Mommy, I’m going to bed now. I had fun,” London said with a smile in her voice. “I'm so happy for you!” Emma smiled as she spoke to London. When they got off the phone she felt the tears coming. She decided to walk outside to regain her composure before going back to Lila and her friends. She had her head down as she walked out. Emma stood against the brick building, not paying attention to the people walking in and out. Most people would be enchanted by the city and its surroundings. Emma just wanted to go home with her daughter and curl up on the couch, watching a movie they had probably seen a hundred times, where everything ended perfectly. She took a deep breath and walked back in and made her way back to the table. A couple more people had joined the party, Lila was talking and laughing with them. “Where did you disappear to?” Lila asked and grabbed Emma’s jacket. “The bathroom and then London called,” Emma said forcing herself to smile. “We’re going to head over to a dance club, here’s your jacket,” Lila said handing the black coat to Emma. *** Emma and Lila walked past security and made their way into the club. They walked through the crowd and up a set of stairs to the VIP lounge. Lila hugged and kissed a couple people on the cheek and ordered drinks. Emma looked around like a deer in the headlights. The women were dressed in sexy dresses and high heeled shoes. Emma looked down at her simple black dress and silver sandals. She immediately felt out of place and crossed her arms and looked down. “You need to loosen up, Emma,” Lila smiled, “We’re going to dance tonight.” Emma took a drink. More people began to enter the VIP lounge and Lila introduced them to Emma. The first was a man she recognized from TV. Emma wasn’t sure exactly who he was, but she knew he was a celebrity. “Brody, this is my college roommate Emma. Emma, this is my newest client Brody Hines.” Emma looked up and shook his hand. He also looked familiar. “Nice to meet you,” Emma smiled politely and looked at him and her face flushed. Brody smiled when he saw her eyes, he knew exactly who she was, but she didn’t recognize him at all. “You too,” he said disguising his accent as he looked her up and down slowly. “Let’s go dance,” Lila said to Emma as she handed her another drink and dragged her down the stairs. Lila was having a blast as the two danced, though Emma was obviously uncomfortable. Lila laughed, “Been awhile since you’ve been out Emma? Come on, have another drink it’ll loosen you up.” Emma drank a couple more vodka cranberries and started to relax and dance. Lila and Emma did a
couple of shots and laughed as they danced. *** Brody sat with his friends in the lounge away from the crowd, she has no idea who I am, that’s a relief, he thought. He could see the dance floor and watched as Lila’s friend, Emma, danced. He couldn’t believe she was the one he had run into this morning. She was pretty, long caramel hair, green eyes, and the nicest, most sincere smile, framed by lips that he could imagine his against. *** Emma and Lila walked back up to the lounge. Emma grabbed her bag and looked at her phone. There were no missed calls, she was relieved that everything was alright but wanted to talk to London. Probably not a good idea since you’re buzzing and its ten o’clock at night, she thought. “Emma, come sit,” Lila said pointing to the chair next to her, “Everything alright?” “Yes, everything’s fine,” Emma said putting her phone away. “Have another drink,” Lila tried to hand her another vodka cranberry. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Emma smiled as she sat back. “You’re with me tonight, it’s a great idea,” Lila laughed and handed her another drink. “I think I should drink beer, this is going to give me a hangover.” Brody handed her a beer, “I think I owe you one.” “Thank you,” Emma looked confused. He laughed and turned away. “Who is that Lila?” Emma asked Lila. Emma laughed, “Brody Hines, he is a singer, newly separated and he’s a hothead.” “That’s not true Lila,” Brody said from behind her. “Just tell it like it is.” “Sorry, Brody,” Lila laughed. “No it’s fine, I’ve been called much worse,” he smiled. “Emma, is it?” “Yes,” Emma said, embarrassed that he’d heard her ask Lila who he was. “I met you earlier today, at the park.” He smiled, “I literally ran you over.” “Oh, yes that’s right, well thank you for the drink,” Emma looked down unable to stop smiling. “Did I hurt you?” Brody asked. “No, I’m fine,” Emma blushed. “Good, would you like to dance?” Brody asked. “No, I don’t think that is a good idea,” Emma looked away. “You afraid you’ll end up on the ground again?” he smiled. “Yep that’s it exactly,” Emma giggled as she walked to the bathroom. When she came out of the bathroom Lila yelled to her from the dance floor. Emma and Lila were both intoxicated so they danced and acted outlandishly. Emma was having fun, and they were joined by Brody and a few others from the lounge. The music slowed down, and Brody grabbed Emma’s hand and rubbed his thumb softly against the back of it. “One dance?” Brody insisted. “Sure...why not?” Emma giggled, feeling a bit drunk. “Do you like this song?” He asked as he wrapped his strong arms around her waist, and rested his other on her hip, pulling her a bit closer. “Never heard it,” wow this feels so…okay— stop it! She told herself. “Well do you like it?” Brody asked, his eyes sinking into hers. “It’s alright, do you?” She asked nervously.
“I do,” Brody spoke softly. “So, what kind of music do you like?” “Anything I can sing along with, most everything,” Emma answered. “But this one’s just alright?” Brody looked confused. “No it’s nice,” Emma’s stomach churned and she felt dizzy. Oh no she thought. “Excuse me,” she ran towards the back entry. Brody followed her, knowing she wasn’t feeling well. He walked up to her after she threw up and handed her a tissue. “Did that song make you ill?” Brody tried not to laugh at her. “Thank you,” feeling embarrassed she looked away. “And no, it wasn’t the song; it was all the vodka and whatever else...I mixed. I don’t do this often.” “Should I get Lila?” Brody suggested “No I’ll be fine, thank you for the tissue,” Emma walked towards the door needing to get away from him. Brody looked down at her opening the door before she had a chance, he noticed her trying to avoid him. He smiled softly and his eyes crinkled as he tried to figure out exactly what he was feeling. “What’s going on?” Lila asked smiling as she looked between the two of them. “I think the song made your friend sick,” Brody winked before walking away.
CHAPTER TWO Emma woke up at six in the morning. She didn’t need an alarm anymore; it was just something that happened naturally after seven years. She decided to go for a run, stop and get coffee for her and Lila. She was back by seven thirty and sat looking at help wanted ads online. “Good morning Emma. I was sure you’d sleep in after last night,” Lila laughed as she held her head. “I don’t sleep in, I wish I could,” she laughed. “I brought you an iced coffee, I hope you still like the vanilla,” Emma said handing it to her. “I haven’t had this since college thanks, Emma.” Lila smiled and looked down at the paper, “What are you looking for?” “A job,” she laughed. “What do you want to do?” Lila sat next to Emma. “Probably something with my degree, my dream job would be flexible. I need to be available for London. She’s at school from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon. I’ve also done child care so that I’m with her all summer as well. Maybe I should go back to school and teach, and then I would have summers off,” Emma thought out loud. “Yeah and make crappy money. You always wanted to edit...why don’t you try that?” Lila asked. “I’d have to move,” Emma rolled her eyes. “We’ve made enough changes in the past six months.” “What about freelance work?” Lila asked. “Benefits and a steady paycheck. Remember, I have a child,” Emma laughed. “Okay but I have some connections Emma, you could do it. I would like to help you.” Lila hugged her. “Okay I’ll look into it. Reading all day would be a dream,” Emma smiled. A dream...not a reality, she thought. “I’m going to take a shower.” When Emma got out of the shower, she heard Lila on the phone. “It’s not the end of the world. This is exactly why you hired me, so let me take care of this,” Lila said and looked at Emma who was walking through the door. “Why don’t you come over, and the three of us can discuss this?” Lila smiled nervously towards Emma. Emma wondered what was going on. Lila hung up the phone and took a deep breath. This is not good, she thought, a hot headed rock star and my best friend. Emma’s phone rang, “Good Morning, baby girl!” she said smiling as she walked out of the room. They finished their conversation and Emma headed to the bathroom so that she could have some privacy. *** Lila opened the door and grabbed the pile of newspapers sitting outside her door in the hall. Three of the four had Brody and Emma on the front page and the daily rags haven’t even come out yet, Lila thought. *** Emma walked out into the den as she was drying her hair. Her stomach flipped when she saw Brody was sitting at the table with Lila. “Sorry to interrupt, I forgot my bag,” she grabbed it and turned to leave. “This doesn’t even trouble you?” Brody asked in an irritated tone. “I’m sorry, are you talking to me?” “Brody she hasn’t seen them yet,” Lila said, “Emma could you come sit with us please?”
Emma sat down, and Lila handed her the newspaper. The first paper had a photo of Brody helping her up at the park on the front page. The next paper showed them dancing at the club. The last, was him handing her a tissue after she had thrown up at the club. Her eyes widened as she looked at them. There was no mistaking that it was her in any of them. “Why would someone do this?” Emma’s voice cracked and she looked at Lila. “Honestly?” Brody asked in his British accent. “Do you truly not get it?” He stood up and leaned against the window clearly agitated. “Apparently not, but I’ve been polite to you. However, if you continue being rude that will certainly stop. Lila, what if Troy sees these? We have court in two weeks. What am I going to do?” Emma was panicked. “Emma, we’ll figure this out. It’ll be alright,” Lila said comforting her friend. “Excuse me — I pay you a great sum to take care of this sort of thing for me. You would do well to remember that,” Brody snapped. “It won’t be a problem. They have taken this situation and blown it way out of proportion. The truth will work it all out Brody,” Lila said calming him. “The truth?” Emma gasped, “And what’s that Lila? That I was drunk at a bar dancing with some, I don’t know…him? That’s not going to work well for me in court.” “Well my dear, this is not all about you. I have a lot to lose here, do you understand? I can guarantee that I have far more to lose than you,” Brody said ascetically. “Oh really...” Emma began to speak. “I’m quite sure,” Brody responded hastily, “You will take care of this?” “No! You egotistical ass!” Emma yelled at Brody. “Now you listen here,” Brody started. “I don’t know where you’ve been for the past five years of your life, but I’m a platinum selling recording artist. The song you and I danced to last night was mine, and it has been number one on the charts for the last five weeks in a row! I’m going through a divorce and have a lot at stake. Honesty is always the best policy, but regardless of that, I will not lose to my whore of an ex-wife in court! Are we clear?” He snapped. Emma jumped when he yelled, immediately aware that she was being intimidated by yet another selfabsorbed man. She couldn’t allow it anymore, he voice trembled slightly as she mustered up the courage to say, “You can go fu…” Lila cut her off. “Alright this isn’t helping, let’s sit down and discuss this please. Emma, Brody please have a seat,” Lila’s tone was authoritative just like always, and they both sat glaring at each other. “We can figure this out so that it works fine for both of you.” “How much do you want?” Brody looked at Emma. “Are you for real? Well how about you go grab a stack of money and stick it up you’re…” her phone rang and she grabbed it and stood to walk away. “Hey is everything alright baby?” she asked. “Oh I see she has a boyfriend already, just like every other woman. Can’t even wait for the ink to dry huh?” Brody walked past Emma. “I love you more...yes we do. See you in two days. Remember sunscreen and call me later. I miss you, more,” Emma smiled as she felt tears forming in her eyes. “Emma, can you come sit down please?” Lila said softly knowing Emma was understandably upset. “I need to use the bathroom,” Emma walked down the hall and Brody brushed past her. This was a mess, a big mess. She thought, Troy’s going to have a field day with this. Emma walked back into the den, she sat down looking at the ground avoiding Brody’s harsh stare. “Okay, so I’m going to talk — and both of you are going to keep your mouths shut until I’m done. Brody is going through a very hard time right now. His wife of three years,” Lila began and Emma rolled her eyes and causing Brody to huff, “had an affair and is now living with another man. In three years they
have accumulated assets and she wants half. Emma, he’s hurt, I know you understand that. Brody, Emma was married for eleven years. She’s also getting a divorce. She signed off everything and walked away. She has an amazing little girl with her ex, who also cheated on her. This is hard for both of you.” Emma’s phone rang and it was Troy, “Hello, is London alright?” “Sure is, I just wanted to let you know that she’ll be meeting my girlfriend tonight at dinner,” Troy said coldly. “Troy...we’ve discussed this; unless you’re planning on dating her long term it’s not necessary for London to meet her. It’ll just confuse her and…” He cut her off. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, you’ve moved on. London and I read your piece in the paper a few minutes ago. By the way, that was confusing to her; she’s actually really upset with you, Emma,” Troy used that superior tone he took with her all too often. “It’s not what you think Troy; he’s a client of Lila’s. It was nothing, nothing at all. May I talk to London please?” Emma asked softly. “No, she is upset with you, aren’t you baby?” He snickered. “First of all, our agreement is that we can speak to her anytime we wish Troy. Second...no, forget it. This should not be discussed in front of her, she’s a child and none of this is her fault. I want to talk to her,” Emma began shaking as she tried to keep it together. “You’ll see her tomorrow. I have plans for the third night; so she’ll be coming back to you. We can get her through this,” Troy said in an antagonistic tone. “You need to rethink this. She doesn’t deserve...I mean, she doesn’t need to meet every woman you bring into your life. Do you know what that will teach her? Troy, you are her father first,” Emma said softly. “You did this Emma, you wanted this over,” Troy said irately. “Okay Troy, if that’s the way you want to play this. Just thank God I don’t feel the need to share with London the fact that you’ve had numerous affairs. I won’t try to make myself sound better and use my daughter to feel better about myself! London doesn’t need to carry that burden,” Emma said, trying not to scream at him, or cry and lose it in front of Lila and Brody. “Thank God you’re a saint...or were until today’s paper came. Talk to you tomorrow, have a great night, I know we will. Oh by the way — we’ll discuss this in court,” and he hung up. Emma sat and took several deep breaths before standing up and leaving the room. She sat on the bed and cried softly. Okay...you need to get it together, it’ll all be okay. London’s a very smart girl – she’ll process this. I guess I should consider a law guardian. Emma walked back out, before she spoke she took a deep breath and tried to stop her lip from quivering, “Do whatever you need to do. I would however prefer that my being drunk doesn’t come to the forefront of this mess,” she turned and looked at Brody. “I’m sorry you’re hurting. Lila just let me know what you decide; I have to know for court.” “What did that asshole say, Emma?” Lila asked she’d never liked Troy. “He’s playing games and using this situation to hurt...never mind. As far as all assets go buddy, I walked away from everything, to give my little girl a normal life — which is far more important than material things. Best of luck Brody, it was great meeting you,” Emma rolled her eyes trying to act sarcastically and walked away still fighting tears. “Okay Brody, what do you want to do?” Lila asked. “The truth, leave out the alcohol. Will you see that she’s alright?” Brody was conflicted as he watched Emma walk away and heard the door slam. “Okay I’ll email you a press release when it’s ready. Anything else?” She asked. He was visibly upset. “You’re going to be fine Brody.” “I know I will be,” he said and looked in the direction Emma had walked. He stood to leave and
turned back and looked again towards the door Emma had slammed, “Talk to you soon.” *** Lila let Emma have about half an hour before knocking on the spare bedroom door. “Emma, I wrote up a press release...would you look it over for me? You know — edit it, like you did in college?” Lila asked sweetly. “Thanks Lila, It looks great.” Emma said drying her eyes as she made a few corrections. “Are you alright?” Lila asked. “No,” Emma said honestly. “When things like this happen I wish I’d just stayed, for London. I don’t know which would’ve been worse for her.” “I think you did the right thing Emma. If you had stayed, you would have become bitter and as much as you love that little doll of yours it would have spilled over onto her.” “Lila it’s not just spilling right now, it’s pouring. My little girl is meeting his slut of the week today. She’s hearing him talk about my boyfriend in the newspaper and that I ruined our marriage by moving out. My little girl,” Emma began to sob, “did NOT deserve this.” Lila hugged Emma and didn’t let go. “You’re so strong. London’s very smart Emma; if she hasn’t already she’ll figure out his game soon enough. Just don’t stoop to his level.” “Thanks, I’m sorry I was rude to your client. I don’t get how you deal with people like that every day. Are they all so self- absorbed?” Emma asked laughing. “He’s angry and hurt, just like you,” Lila said while wiping Emma’s tears. “Except regardless of what they do, they have fans,” Emma laughed. “It gets lonely Lila.” “You have me, I’m your fan.” Lila smiled. “Brody has people who seem to care, but after all it’s said and done his true fan club is no different than yours. He has a handful of true friends. The rest either want something from him, like he knows that his ex-wife wouldn’t have been half as popular on the runway as she’s been, if she hadn’t attached to him or there are always the ones waiting in the wings. It’s pretty hard for celebrities who have hearts and not just their enormous egos. Imagine what it would be like to just need to break down and not be able to because you’d be seen. It is kind of like what you’re going through with London. You can’t fall apart in front of her.” “I guess,” Emma said. Her phone made a musical sound alerting her to London’s text: - Mommy, is that singer your boyfriend? - Of course not London, he’s a client of Lila’s. - Do you like him Mom? - Well I don’t know him well enough to make that judgment, London. But he seems alright. The only reason those silly pictures were in the paper is because he’s famous. Lila knows lots of famous people. - Who else does she know Mommy? - I’m not sure London, but you can ask her when we see each other tomorrow. - Cool, I love you Mom. - Love you more!!!! - We love each other more, Mommy. - Of course we do. Call me when you can.
Emma smiled, “You all better Emma?” Lila asked. “Not all better, but that certainly helped,” Emma smirked. “Can we still go out tonight?” Lila said smiling. “Sure, just don’t let me drink. I hate throwing up,” Emma laughed. *** Brody walked into his new hotel room and his belongings were already there. Lila had suggested he switch often. He wished he could just go home. It sucked living out of hotel suites. He opened his laptop and read the email from Lila. DATE: 9/3/11 SUBJECT: The situation Check this out and tell me what you think. I would suggest putting it on Twitter and Facebook. I’ll do a press release when you give me the okay. The photos plastered in the papers this morning where interesting. My publicist invited a friend to hang out this weekend. I literally ran into her at the park, pretty comical. I asked her to dance, and she was deeply touched by my music, like the rest of you are. I think my song Blue Love, made her cry. So I gave her a tissue. I haven’t moved on yet ladies, still healing. To the idiot who decided this was news…well there are many more important things going on in the world then my jog or a dance with a friend of a friend….Cheers Brody.
Brody laughed, nice spin. So this is what he had been avoiding, he never liked the idea of hiring a publicist. They always seemed so damn dishonest. Lila did what was asked of her. I like her. DATE: 9/3/11 SUBJECT: The situation TO: Lila Nicely done, I’ll put them online now. What are you up to this evening? I’m doing an acoustic set at The Place, maybe you could drop in. You could bring your friend. I would like to apologize to her. Brody *** Brody moved from England seven years ago. He grew up in Liverpool with his parents, brother and sister. He was twenty seven and his music career had peaked in England, and he had hoped to become even bigger in the United States. He worked hard and kept to himself. He knew that if he’d been a publicity junky his career would have taken off much quicker. He was tall and handsome. He didn’t just blend in, with brown messy hair and his large bluish green eyes could be mistaken for no one else. He hung with his band, and they all kept pretty much to themselves. They went to small bars when they went out and watched local bands play. He enjoyed when they played original music but when he was drunk and wanted to dance it was always more fun to listen to and sing along with covers. Brody was drunk at an award show the night he met his ex-wife. She was a tall leggy woman and was handing out the awards. He had won his first MTV music video award and she handed it to him. When he left the stage he saw her and kissed her. They had been together ever since. His drunken moment of bravery, as he had always thought of it, ended up being just the type of drunken brainless moment he’d
avoided since his move to the States. They traveled together and laughed a lot. When her career took off she traveled often. When he wasn’t touring he traveled with her. When she wasn’t working she went with him on tour. He believed she loved him, why else would she say she did? He would never understand why she wouldn’t tell him that she was unhappy. Or instead of breaking up, she did this. He himself had plenty of opportunity to cheat on her, but respected his marriage enough not to. He was hurt at first, and that quickly turned to anger. They had only spoken a handful of times since she asked if they could fix this, and at first he considered it. After a month passed and anger turned to disgust — he told her no. Now Ariel was living with a different guy, not even the asshole she cheated with. They were speaking only through lawyers. His phone chirped, it was Lila. After a lot of persuasion— Emma finally agreed to come watch you perform…Lila She hates me, he thought. He couldn’t blame her; he was pretty heartless this morning. He knew what she was going through, sort of. Eleven years of marriage, how old was she? It doesn’t matter he thought, as he tried in vain to wipe her out of his mind. Alright, I wanted to apologize, that’s all. It really isn’t a big production…Brody *** Emma and Lila walked right past the security team. “Look at you Lila, all important,” Emma laughed. “I told you one day I would be, you should have known,” Lila laughed as she flipped her hair. They walked to a table marked reserved and sat and talked. Brody came on stage. He smiled, “Thanks for coming out tonight,” he said looking over the crowd. He quietly counted, “One, two, three, two, two three.” The crowd clapped and cheered when the first song finished. Brody smiled shyly, “Thank you.” He played three more songs. His voice was amazing and smooth. Each song was a story that pulled you in. Brody didn’t interact with the crowd; there was no dancing or jumping around. His music felt like it was a part of him. He closed his eyes a great deal while he performed, you just watched as he got lost in it. When they were opened he didn’t look into the crowd, but over it. Guitar playing was for him as well. He cradled the guitar like he was keeping it safe and close. You could feel the love he had for his music. It was almost like he didn’t want to give it to you, but you could join him if you wanted. Emma was lost in his music. She felt like she was looking through a window watching a very private and personal moment, one that she couldn’t walk away from. One that Brody allowed you to watch, from a distance. The wall he put up was infinite, yet not built of stone but instead shatterproof glass. When he ended he stood and smiled, “Thank you, goodnight.” He said looking over the crowd. Brody glanced down and saw Lila and Emma sitting with his manager and a couple friends. Smiling slightly, he walked off stage. “Pretty good, isn’t he?” Lila smiled looking at Emma who was still staring at the stage with her mouth opened slightly. “Yes. He is very...intense,” Emma shook her head in agreement. She noticed Lila trying not to grin. Emma smiled, “I wonder if there is a Kids Bop version.” “I don’t think so,” Lila laughed. Brody joined them at the table sitting next to Emma. “Thanks for coming. I wanted to say I’m sorry about this morning,” he whispered sincerely into her ear. “Thank you, I’m sorry as well,” Emma looked away. He smelled like heaven, clean with a hint of sandalwood, and his hot breath hit her ears making the hair on the back of her neck stand.
“So— what did you think?” Brody asked. Emma was looking the other direction, and he laughed. “Emma,” Lila whispered, “Brody asked you a question.” “I’m sorry, what was the question?” Emma face was heating up. “Was it alright? The music, last night you said it was alright. What did you think?” Brody asked looking amused. “Yes it was very good,” she smiled and immediately looked away. The waitress brought a tray of drinks and put a beer in front of her. She looked at it and glanced across the table. “I wouldn’t mix that with vodka if I were you,” he tried not to laugh. Emma shook her head and smiled, “Thank you.” Another band took stage and Emma sat back and sipped her beer. She smiled at Lila and the band began to play. Emma looked at Lila and bit her cheek trying not to laugh. Lila laughed and Brody smiled as he watched them. “They’re really bad,” Emma giggled and Lila laughed. Everyone at the table heard her and started to laugh. Emma’s face turned red, and she tried to stop smiling. Emma excused herself and went to the bathroom. Her phone chimed and it was a message from London. - Mommy I’m scared, and I need you…London - Can you talk? Can I call you? ...Mom “London what’s wrong baby? Where are you?” Emma asked as she answered the phone. “In the bathroom upstairs. Mommy, there are a lot of people here and bad things are going on, Mommy,” she cried. “Lock the door; I’ll be there as soon as I can be. Where’s your father now?” Emma asked as she walked out of the restroom and grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair. “What’s going on Emma?” Lila asked. She shook her head, as tears fell down her face; Lila followed her out the back door. “Honey, I’ll be there as soon as I can be, just stay in the bathroom. Did you lock the door?” Emma asked. “Okay good girl, is your phone charged up?” Emma stayed on the phone trying to get a cab. None would stop and she was beginning to panic. A black Limo pulled up. “Get in,” Lila yelled to her as she opened the door. Emma jumped in and closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Hey London we’re on our way okay? If your phone dies I won’t be able to call you when I get there, so no games or music okay? I love you, it shouldn’t be long. Do you want to stay on the phone? Okay don’t answer the door for anyone, do you understand? I’m going to call every five minutes London and I’ll be there as soon as I can but if you need anything call me. I love you more,” She hung up and buried her head in her jacket. “Emma, what’s going on?” Lila asked as she rubbed her back. “I fucking hate him!” She screamed and looked up at Lila Emma was shocked when she saw Brody sitting in the car across from Lila. He looked down sensing her discomfort. He didn’t seem to want to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she already did. “Sorry,” she said and tried to pull herself together. “He is having some sort of party and there are so many people there that she doesn’t even know. Her father is apparently arguing with someone and she’s scared. I can’t believe this Lila, he can’t even handle two nights?”
“We’ll be there in an hour, Jersey Shore right? Do you have the address?” Lila asked. Emma gave them the address and called London, “Hey sweet girl are you okay? Good...Okay...Soon baby, very soon.” Emma sat back hiding her face with her hair rocking slightly back and forth trying to comfort herself. “Emma, we should call the police,” Lila said. “I thought the same thing, but I’m afraid they’ll take her or she’ll be scared. I don’t want her to see her father get arrested...She’s already been through so much. What do I do?” Emma began to shake as she looked at Lila for an answer. “I have a suggestion,” Brody said, his tone was direct but bordered angry. “If you wait until we’re almost there to make the call you’ll be killing two birds with one stone. You’ll get her out safely, and he won’t have a chance in hell at court. But only if you feel that she’s safe. “ “I agree with him, Emma,” Lila said. She looked out the window and tried to breathe, tears fell again, “Okay,” she whispered. Brody handed her a tissue. She shook her head, “Thank you.” Emma stared out the window as she nervously knotted her hands together. It was so hard to keep it together, but she had to. She closed her eyes and leaned into the leather seat and took deep breaths and slowly released them. “We’re thirty minutes away. Should I make the call for you?” Brody voice was soft and calm. “Yes, please,” Emma opened her eyes and called London. “Mommy there’s a fight, I hear people fighting,” London cried. “Okay you’re still in the bathroom right?” She asked softly. “Yes Mommy,” London said crying harder. “Okay we are coming London, and we’re going to make sure you’re safe. If someone knocks on the door don’t open it, I’ll be there very soon. I’m so sorry London. You won’t have to deal with this again,” Emma kept her voice steady and strong even though she was ready to fall apart. They pulled in front of the beach house, and Emma opened the door, Brody grabbed her arm. “Might I make a suggestion?” He asked as he pulled her back in. “Call her and have her flash the bathroom light so you know where to go and if you could wait for the police, it may work out better for you in court.” Emma’s hands shook as she dialed her phone and he grabbed them to steady her, Emma took a deep breath and settled down a bit. She looked up into his fierce eyes. “Emma, you’re doing great. Breathe okay, like you were before. In and out slow and steady,” Brody rubbed his thumbs up and down her hands, softly and gently. She did as he asked, “Very good Emma. Now call.” “London can you turn the bathroom light off and on really fast until I tell you to stop?” Emma saw the lights flash and shuddered slightly, “Okay baby, look out the window and you will see me.” She stood outside and waved to her. “Yes honey — you can ride in the limo.” she laughed. “But you need to wait until I get to you so I can come help you get your bags together. Yep Lila is here.” London’s phone died. “Her phone died!” She started to feel panicked again. “Emma you’re here, everything’s going to be okay,” Brody voice was soft and comforting but rage manifest in his eyes. “She can’t see you, I mean after this morning and the paper and tonight. Oh God, she can’t see you.” She said grabbing her hair, “This is your car, I need to get a cab, Lila…” She started. Brody interrupted, “I’ll sit in the front she’ll never see me, the police are pulling in, get it together. There are little eyes watching you now from the window up there,” Brody pointed up.
“Thank you so much,” Emma jumped forward and hugged him tightly. She immediately felt odd and turned to Lila and did the same. She wiped her eyes and got back out. The police knocked on the door and no one answered. The music was too loud. They walked in the door and Emma was disgusted with what she saw. She saw the stairs and started towards them. “What the hell are you doing here?” Troy jumped out and grabbed her arm. “Getting my daughter,” Emma tried to pull away from his grasp. “She’s asleep!” Troy yelled. “No, she’s been awake for a while now; she’s been locked in the bathroom scared out of her mind waiting for me. Now let go of me!” Emma yelled and tried to pull away. Troy pushed her down and ran up the stairs. Before he reached the door the police apprehended him and took him outside. “London, its Mommy, open the door baby,” London unlocked the door and Emma walked in and pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly as they both cried. “You’re okay baby,” Emma wiped her face. “We’re going to hide you under this towel so none of those weird people see you.” London laughed as she put the towel over her head. She grabbed London’s belongings and hugged her all the way to the car. They walked out, and Emma was giggling with London who was still under the towel, “Hey London, you’re going to hang out with Lila for a few minutes, if that’s alright with her, so I can go talk to your Dad okay?” Emma shut the door and turned around, straightened her clothes, and took a few deep breaths. “Are you alright, Emma?” Brody asked from the front window of the limo. She jumped and laughed nervously, “Yep I’m great, thank you so much for everything tonight, I’m very sorry.” Emma turned around and stormed up to the house. The police had Troy in hand cuffs and were reading him his rights. “Are you happy now, Emma?!” Troy yelled. “I’m happy my daughter is safe, not that her father has turned into someone I don’t even recognize. You should be ashamed of yourself,” she fought back tears, “Do you need me for anything?” She asked the policewoman. “We would like to get in contact with you later, so we’ll need your phone number. But right now you should get her home and to sleep,” the officer said. “Thank you,” Emma handed them a piece of paper with her name, number, address, London’s full name, and date of birth. “Get it together — for her and for you,” she looked at Troy sadly before she walked away. Emma jumped in the limo, and London and Lila were laughing. “What’s so funny in here?” Emma smiled, a show for her daughter. “Well London was just telling me how Troy googled my friend Brody, you remember him right?” She laughed, “Apparently London likes his music and thinks he’s very cute. She also thinks he would make a perfect boyfriend for you, although Troy disagreed with her.” “Well I don’t have time for a boyfriend and even if I did, he’s way too young. Maybe someday but I’ll date someone my own age and from the same social circle,” Emma laughed and hugged her daughter. “Are you alright London? Do you want to talk about tonight?” “No Mommy, not right now, alright?” London said with a sweet yet sad smile. “Okay,” Emma hugged her tightly. “Mommy you’re squashing me,” she laughed and tried to lighten the mood. “I want Lila to tell me all the famous people she knows.” “Well, you already know that I know Brody, this is actually his car,” she smiled. “Is it really?”
London asked elatedly. “How did you get his car?” “Well he is my friend, and your mom needed to get to you fast and he offered. Wasn’t that nice of him?” Lila asked. “It was very nice of him,” Emma said and gave her a look, “So tell her more.” Within ten minutes London was asleep lying on Emma’s lap. “What do I do for someone like him as a thank you?” Emma whispered. “Tell him,” Lila tapped on the window and it rolled down. “Everything alright?” Brody asked peering into the back. “Yes, I just want you to know how much I appreciate your help tonight. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.” “You are welcome. Your daughter looks just like you,” he smiled. “Is she alright?” “She is, thank you,” Emma stroked her hair. “London would love to meet you Brody,” Lila said smirking. “Alright anytime,” he smiled. “By the way Lila, when is your birthday?” “In February,” Lila said. “How old will you be?” Brody asked. “Well, I’ll be,” Lila paused, “How old are we Emma?” “We’re thirty five, how can you forget how old you are?” Emma laughed. “I’m not sure,” Lila said raising her eyebrow as she looked at Brody. *** The car stopped in front of Lila’s building. Emma stepped out with London draped around her. Brody rolled down the window, “Goodnight, ladies.” Emma turned and smiled, “Thank you again.” “Goodnight Brody, by the way when is your birthday and how old are you?” Lila said loudly. “I’ll be twenty eight in May,” Brody scowled at her, knowing she was in his head. *** Emma was glad to be home. She was taking clothes out of the dryer when the phone rang. “We got home about an hour ago,” Emma told Lila on the phone. “How’s she doing?” “She’s well. Right now she is in her room playing.” Emma laughed, “And I’m drained.” “Have you talked to the police, about Troy?” “I did. They charged him with endangering the welfare of a child. I’m so sick to my stomach over it all. Why couldn’t he just be better for her? I was certain he could handle one night a week. I was scared about the three nights and then he changed it when he was upset. I guess he has court next week. I should go,” Emma said softly so that London would not hear. “Come stay with me that night, I’ll watch London,” Lila offered. “I’ll think about it,” Emma said. “Hey I’m sending you an e- mail right now of jobs I think you should apply for, just to see, you know?” Lila pushed. “Thanks I’ll look them over.” *** London and Emma spent the next two days school shopping. London insisted on picking her own clothes out. She was going for retro rock star in the first grade. Emma was very amused by this, she’s her
own little spirit, and at least he hasn’t broken that. London didn’t ask about her father. She hadn’t seen the police there that night and for that she was grateful. The house was prepared and ready for the crazy school year to begin. Emma lay down and snuggled with London until she fell asleep. When she felt London’s little body startle she knew she had fallen into a deep enough sleep for her to exit the room. Emma opened her e- mail, finally, to check out the jobs Lila had mentioned she was sending. She read through it and decided to print them out. Her phone rang it was her mother. They talked about what had happened while she was in the city and what London had gone through. Her mother was coming up to stay with London while Emma went to court. “Honey, maybe after your divorce and custody hearing you’ll consider moving back here. I don’t mind driving to you, but you would have a much stronger support system living here. Will you please think about it?” Caroline asked. “I will, I just need to get through this first,” Emma said softly. Emma took the papers from the printer and read over the jobs. All were in the city, a thirty minute train ride from her childhood home in Tarrytown. Her head was spinning, she was overwhelmed. I should just do it. London would have more opportunity living close to the city. She would have family who loved her. There were more jobs available. This is all too much, she thought. Emma opened up her e- mail again and saw another from Lila. She had told her that Brody had asked how she and her daughter were doing. He also asked for her phone number and e- mail address. Apparently his court date was next week for his divorce. Emma texted Lila. - Tell him thank you again and good luck...Emma - I think he likes you Em…Lila - No, I am sure he just feels vested in the situation after the newspapers and taking us to get London. There is a difference, and BTW he’s just a baby… Emma - Whatever you need to tell yourself…Lila - It’s reality, but thank you for the ego boost…Emma - Weird coincidence that you’re both going to court next week huh? ...Lila - Yes, coincidence. Leave it alone!!!...Emma - Sweet dreams, Em!!...Lila - U 2…Emma Emma spent the rest of the night e- mailing her resume to every company that Lila suggested. Her dream was that one would pick her and let her work from home. It would allow her to continue parenting the way she wanted to. *** Emma walked into Lila’s apartment. She was glad Caroline was with London. Not that she didn’t trust Lila enough to take her up on her offer but this way she wouldn’t have to miss school. London didn’t ask where she was going, and down deep she was probably aware it had something to do with her father. Emma decided to cook dinner for Lila who was supposed to be home at eight. She plugged her iPod into Lila’s system and played some tunes as she danced in the kitchen. One More Night by Maroon 5 was
playing as she cleaned up her mess and danced around and sang loudly. When the song ended she heard clapping and turned around to see Lila, Brody, and another guy she didn’t know. Her face burned, and she turned off the music and pulled her hair away from her face. “Sorry,” they all stood there smiling, “I made dinner,” she said trying desperately to change the focus. “Will you be staying?” Why on earth did I just ask that? “Great idea,” Lila said. “What do you say guys, a working dinner?” *** They all sat at the large square dining table, Emma was still trying to recover from the earlier embarrassment. The others talked about Brody’s court date tomorrow. The press had found out about his upcoming court appearance, and Lila was telling them how things would go down. The other man was Brody’s lawyer, Eli, he seemed too young to be a lawyer but if he’s Brody Hines’ lawyer, he must be good. Emma began to clear the table as Lila and Eli coordinated tomorrows plans and strategies for Brody to walk away unscathed by the divorce. “Let me help,” Brody grabbed the dirty dishes. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” Emma asked while standing at the sink. “Not particularly, but it’ll be nice to close this chapter of my life. And you, Emma, are you ready for tomorrow?” Brody asked with concern in his eyes. “Yes, it’ll be nice to know what the next step is for London and I,” she said looking down. “London is an interesting name. What made you choose it?” Brody asked curiously. “Well,” she laughed. “Her father and I had planned to go to London for our five year anniversary but couldn’t afford it,” she looked at him feeling perplexed about whether or not he was just making small talk or truly wanted to know. She looked in his eyes, “We spent a lot of money on fertility treatments. Our trip plans changed. I made mention during an argument about money that the little one growing in my belly was better than ten trips to London. It kind of stuck.” He smiled, “That’s wonderful.” “Yeah, I think so too,” she smiled as she put the leftover food in the refrigerator. “So you like Maroon 5?” Brody tried not to laugh. Emma giggled, “I guess so.” “May I see your music player?” He took it off the counter. “Sure, help yourself,” Emma said cynically. “Lots of Kids Bop,” Brody said, and the way he pronounced the P in Bop made her laugh. “Yes—it’s more appropriate for kids,” she sat on the barstool at the massive kitchen island. “Hmm,” he said setting it down next to her. “What’s that supposed to mean? Hmm,” she said jokingly. “No Brody Hines music,” Brody said astutely. “Oh I guess not, I did enjoy your music though,” Emma said trying to save face. “Apparently not enough to listen to it again,” he laughed. “But Maroon 5, huh?” “Alright do you want honesty?” “Yes please, do go on.” Brody turning to her looking into her eyes totally focused on her. “Okay I like music that doesn’t make me feel like your music does,” as soon as the words escaped her mouth she felt her face get red. “Interesting Emma, how is it that my music makes you feel?” “Well I had never heard your music before, I guess Kids Bop isn’t your thing,” she laughed. “I like music I can sing and dance to, fun music.”
“Yes, I saw that earlier,” he laughed. Emma scowled at him. “Okay but that doesn’t answer my question,” he asked immediately expunging the humor from his voice. “When Lila and I came to your show the other night,” Emma looked down. “It was like watching someone tell a story, a very personal story. When you came on stage you looked over the crowd, not at them. The entire time you sang, you didn’t make eye contact with the audience. The way you held your guitar was different. You cradled it, like you were holding a child or something that you held precious. It was like you wanted to share it, but not like someone would share their cookies,” Emma smiled and looked up. “More like an artist displaying their greatest piece of art for the world to see but with the red cordons embodying it so no one could get close. I felt like you were saying ‘look, hear, and feel from a distance, but don’t come to close.’ You close your eyes a lot when you sing. Which made me feel like it hurt you to share it,” She smiled and looked down. “I personally felt like I was watching you through a window during a very personal moment. Your music is very intense. Beautiful — but intense, and honestly, it makes me uncomfortable,” Emma took a deep breath and looked up at him. He looked deeply in her eyes, “Thank you.” Her eyes widened, “Okay, what does that mean?” “Well that’s all very true. I’m a very private person.” She laughed and went to stand up. “Don’t leave yet, please. Tell me what made you laugh.” “Well, you’re a celebrity; your job is to perform for people. How can you be a private person and do what you do?” Emma sat back down. “I love music, and I’m very good at what I do,” he smiled. “Well, most people think so anyway.” “I think your music is great,” Emma raised her eyebrow, “I just said it seems very personal and private for you,” her face softened. “Is it because you feel insecure about what is going on in your personal life?” “Wow,” he laughed. “Sorry, I just know that after my husband and I split up I felt like I’d failed. Every time I turned around someone would ask me how I was or wanted to know what happened. People at the grocery store would look at me differently. They even started asking in front of my daughter,” she shook her head and smiled sadly looking down. “I stopped going to the store in our town when London was with me. I took her out of our local dance school, and took her half an hour away, just so I didn’t have to deal with the chit chat or the looks. So for someone like you, it must be just like that, except everyone knows who you are. Not just the people in your little town. And the way you were when you sang made me want to hug you or help you, knowing you’re going through what you are. So your fans must feel so much pain for you. Which I’m certain that makes you uncomfortable, embarrassed, and pissed off,” she laughed. “On a much grander scale of course.” Brody looked at her thoughtfully, “I see, but add to that the letters, e- mails, and screaming fans who feel like they may actually be able to fix it for you. Or those who say they would like to take your mind off of it,” he grinned seductively which made Emma laugh. “I don’t get those,” she said jokingly. “You are lucky then, Emma,” Brody smiled. “They’re kind of freaky.” “Do you get unsolicited advice from everyone like I do?” “Hordes of it,” he smiled. “Everyone else knows what you need, and how to fix it. When sometimes all you want to do is vent or just enjoy life and not think about it,” Emma grinned. “Exactly, and I’m not sure how it is for you but in my case I feel like everyone needs something from
me. Often I feel if I went on a sexual binge people may back off. That’s deranged thinking isn’t it?” Brody snickered. “Maybe after your divorce you could come out,” Emma laughed. “Do you think I’m gay, Emma?” He asked seriously. Emma smiled and tried to mask her amusement, “No, I just think that way, the screaming fans would realize they had no chance.” “Or they would try to fix me,” He looked horrified. They both laughed. “What is going on in here?” Lila asked playfully. “Divorce chatter,” Emma smiled. “So did you fix it all, Lila dear?” Brody stood up. “I think you’ll be just fine,” Lila said shaking her head and walking out of the room. “See even Lila is trying to fix both of us,” Brody winked at Emma. “I kind of gathered that, sorry,” Emma said as if she was annoyed. “Best of luck tomorrow,” Brody said extending his hand. Emma shook it, “You too.” “Would it be awkward if I texted you to tell you how things went with me and you could let me know how things went for you and London?” “Not at all, it is kind of nice having someone who understands what I’m going through. I hope you feel the same way,” Emma smiled. “I do,” he looked at her intensely for a few moments and then looked away. Emma and Brody walked out into the living room and she said goodnight to Lila. She walked into her room and checked her e- mails. She had several responses from the companies she had submitted her resume to. Many asked for her to come in and interview. Emma was happy but knew from previous attempts at finding a job an interview meant that they may be interested. *** “Hey Mom, how’s my girl?” Emma asked her mother on the phone. “She went to bed after she talked to you. She was very tired,” Caroline reported. “It always takes her a few weeks to get used to the school schedule,” Emma said softly. “So depending on how court goes tomorrow, I may need to stay a few days for some job interviews. Would you be willing to bring London back home with you and I’ll meet you there?” “Emma, you said home. Are you considering my proposal?” Caroline said with a smile in her voice. “Depends on court Mom,” Emma said with reserve in her voice knowing if she said yes, her mother would be pushing her to do it now. “Well of course,” Caroline said happily. Emma skipped out in her pajamas to tell Lila the news. “That is amazing, Emma,” Lila said hugging her. “Celebratory dance party,” Emma jumped on the couch and shook her fanny at Lila as she made a loud whoop, whoop noise as if she were at a sporting event cheering on her favorite team. Lila looked towards the bathroom and Emma followed her look. Once again, Brody stood witness to her goofy ways. “Listening to your happy music again Emma?” He joked. She jumped off the couch and laughed. Lila laughed and said, “No, Emma just got some good news. She put in a bunch of resumes and has to schedule interviews tomorrow,” Lila smiled. “I’ll be seeing much more of you if you accept an offer.” “What kind of work are you looking for?” Brody asked earnestly.
“Editor positions, entry level of course. It seems companies don’t want to hire people like me who’ve been out of the workforce for seven years. Sorry again about the show. Goodnight,” Emma smiled as she quickly walked to her room.
CHAPTER THREE Brody woke in yet another hotel room. He had changed hotels again, and it seemed no one knew where he was. No slew of fans outside in the streets screaming for him. There were no packages delivered, wishing Brody good luck today, or letters offering to take his mind off of the train wreck of a day. He showered and shaved and grabbed the suit Lila had picked out for him. He wasn’t looking forward to his court appearance but he was grateful to his new friend Lila and for her friend that seemed to be occupying his thoughts lately. Emma was wonderful, kind, sweet, and funny. Even though she didn’t seem to have to try, he thought and laughed to himself remembering the two incidents last night in which he’d caught her dancing. Brody stepped out of the black town car wearing a gray suit and woven tie. He had on sunglasses, and he plastered his signature smile across his face. There were about a hundred women standing behind the police barricades screaming and yelling to him. Lila, his lawyer, and his manager followed him into the courthouse. He waved and walked past the masses trying to grab him. They may mean well, but he certainly never asked for this, he wished his personal moments like this could be his own. Like Emma, he wished they could feel his discomfort and just sit back and watch but only if that’s what they felt they needed to do, he thought. He sat in the large court room behind a wooden desk next to his lawyer when Ariel walked in with her lawyer. He glanced up and immediately looked away. He expected to be angry when he saw her or disgusted as he was when he saw her in print with another man. He hadn’t been alone with her sense the day he left, after the affair came to light. Brody avoided all the calls and only answered text messages that concerned the divorce. Ariel was beautiful. She was almost six feet tall and extremely thin. Her long black hair was in a ponytail today. She wore a tan skirt and jacket, making her brown skin look even darker. The judge looked over the paper work and asked if any changes had been made since the previous hearing. There hadn’t been. His decision was that Brody would pay spousal support for the same number of years they had been married, at fifty thousand dollars a month. Ariel would get the New York home, and he would keep the one in Liverpool. No future earnings would be taken into consideration, as the marriage had only lasted three years. Brody was to pay a three million dollar settlement. All parties accepted the decision. Brody and Ariel signed the paperwork. Brody was relieved that he wouldn’t have to sell the home in England near his family. He was not happy with spousal support — three million dollars and their shared home should have been enough. When they left the courtroom, Ariel looked at him and smiled sadly as she walked into the arms of the man she was now shacked up with. Brody walked out of the courtroom and looked down. He didn’t want to acknowledge the swarms of fans or the press. He and his lawyer sat in the car as Lila worked her magic. “It has been a rough few months for Mr. Hines. Although he adores all of you, he needs his privacy — time to reflect, heal, and move on from this chapter of his life. Both he and Ariel came to an agreement today. Brody is currently working on a new album.” Lila smiled as the crowd cheered. “Its release should be within the next few months. We’ll definitely keep you all informed, thank you for your show of support today.” Lila got in the car and looked at Brody, “Are you alright?” “Sure, I just don’t look forward to sitting in that damn hotel room. I’m considering going home for a few months to finish the album instead of just a month,” Brody said looking out the window. The car dropped his lawyer off at the Manhattan office and started down the street. “I think you should
stay with me Brody, just for a few days,” Lila smiled. “Would you like to do that until you leave?” “A few of my friends are coming in to the city tonight, to celebrate the demise of my marriage,” he laughed. “Are you up for lots of company?” “The more the merrier.” Lila laughed. *** Emma walked into the courtroom with the arresting officer and saw Troy sitting in a chair next to a lawyer. He looked up at her and scowled. Emma sat and waited for Troy to be called. They were the last case on the docket. “Mr. Fields, you are being charged with endangering the welfare of a child, child neglect, and felony possession of a narcotic, how do you plead?” Judge Owen asked. “Not guilty sir,” Troy said and looked at Emma. “Really, so you want to go to trial over this?” Judge Owen laughed. “Officer White, could you approach the bench and remind Mr. Fields the evidence you have against him?” “Yes, Your Honor,” Officer White said and read through the paperwork. “You want to rethink that son? Your seven year old daughter locked herself in a bathroom and called her mother to come get her when it was your responsibility to keep her safe. You threw a party with cocaine and alcohol for a rowdy group of townies. Mr. Fields, you were so intoxicated that you didn’t even know that she spent over an hour in the bathroom scared out of her mind waiting for her mother to travel from New York City to help her. Mrs. Fields, although it was incredibly stupid to wait to call the police, I can tell you it certainly helped to build a strong custody case for you. What is your visitation agreement?” Emma handed him the custody paperwork, “Your Honor, I wasn’t thinking of anything except getting to her quickly. It was a suggestion from a friend when we were almost there. I agreed because I knew Troy wouldn’t be happy if I showed up. I knew that London was safely waiting locked in a bathroom talking to me on the phone. I wasn’t thinking,” she whispered. “So Mr. Fields, I could put you on the docket, and we are booking about two months from now, or you could get some help. Get your ass into a rehabilitation center and get better for your child,” Judge Owen looked at him. “I’m not going to rehab,” Troy laughed. “Alright then: I hereby order that your current custody agreement is null and void until after your trial for these charges,” Judge Owen said looking at him, “Mrs. Fields, visitation is at your discretion. I would suggest you contact your lawyer about this. There are several options, including supervised visits.” “Your Honor, I think you’re stepping outside of your job description,” Troy’s lawyer said warning Judge Owen. “No, I’m merely telling Mrs. Fields to weigh her options. Case postponed until a trial date is set,” Judge Owen stood up and walked out of the courtroom. “You can’t keep me from her Emma, she’s my daughter. I have rights,” Troy said in a superior tone she was so used to hearing. “London has rights to Troy; she has a right to be safe and loved. Get some help,” Emma said as she turned to walk out. “Don’t you walk away from me, Emma,” Troy yelled after her. “I’m leaving to take care of my daughter Troy. Damn it — could you do the right thing, please?” Emma said pleading as she walked out. Emma drove back to the city and parked in the garage at Lila’s. She looked in the mirror and wiped the smudged mascara from her face and grabbed her bag. She had left a message for her lawyer so that she could figure out her next move. What a mess, London would be alright but Troy?
What the heck was she going to do? *** Emma walked into the apartment and saw a bunch of people. She didn’t see Lila and tried to hide from the group of guys listening to loud music, laughing as they drank in the living room. Emma walked down the hall unseen towards the bathroom. “Hello, Emma,” Brody said smiling as he walked out of the bathroom. “Oh...hi,” she said pushing past him as she walked in the bathroom and shut the door. Shit, Emma thought as she washed the makeup from her eyes and tried to pull herself together. She called her mother, “Hello Mom,” she said as her voice cracked. “Emma, are you alright honey?” Caroline said in a deeply concerned tone. “I will be, is London home yet?” Emma asked. “Well you must have forgotten she had a dance tonight, so she’s upstairs getting ready. I’ll stay with her tonight and meet you tomorrow night,” Caroline said. “Oh, how could I have forgotten,” Emma began to cry. “Emma you have a lot going on. She doesn’t know you forgot, and we’re enjoying our time. How did things go with Troy?” Caroline asked. Emma took a deep breath and told her what had happened. Her mother agreed to support her in any way she could help, which Emma knew she would. Her parents were amazing. Emma knew how lucky she was to have them, especially now. “Good luck with your interviews tomorrow, Mommy,” London said with a smile in her voice. “How did you know about that London?” Emma asked. “Grandma,” she laughed. “Of course she told you. It’s not definite London. I’m just weighing our options okay?” Emma asked cautiously. “Mom, I’m okay with moving if it would be better for us. Plus, it would be fun to live with Grandma and Grandpa,” London said happily. “Oh...Grandma talked about that huh?” Emma laughed. Emma chatted with London and promised that they would do something fun when they saw each other in a couple of days. She said goodbye and looked in the mirror again, good enough she thought. Emma walked out of the bathroom, and Brody was standing against the wall in the hallway. “Are you alright Emma?” “How did things go for you today,” Emma said changing the subject. “As expected, it’ll be fine. Are you alright?” Brody asked again his voice was deeper. Emma laughed, “I will be, I have to be.” “What happened?” Brody asked. Emma wasn’t sure if it was the accent that made him seem more together than her at this moment, but it made her uncomfortable. He could sense that. “If I’m asking questions you don’t wish to answer, I apologize.” Emma knew she had made him uncomfortable and felt awful, “No need to apologize. I just haven’t had time to process it all yet. The judge left a lot of decisions in my hands. I just don’t know what’s best for London; I just need to figure it all out. And honestly I’m tired of being an adult and trying to figure every damn thing out. I wish I could run away with my daughter and not deal with all the nonsense,” she looked up when she heard the music start again. “You have a raucous group out there,” she laughed, “You better get back to them.” “Emma, I didn’t consider that you would be here or in this state of mind,” Brody said. “However, you did mention needing a break from being responsible. This crew is the best at being rash. You should join
us,” Brody smiled. “I would love to meet your friends, Brody,” Emma looked up at him. “Oh, yes...meet my friends,” he said looking confused. Oh wow, that so didn’t come out the way it was meant to. He must think I’m into him. Why do I open my mouth? This silence is painful quick Emma fix it, she thought. “If you don’t want to share your people I get it,” she smiled. “I have my people too.” “Emma that’s not what I meant I just…” Brody began. “I know, Brody,” she laughed, her phone rang. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll come out. Hello, this is Emma,” she answered the call and walked to the room she had been staying in. Emma woke up hearing yelling and a knock from outside the door. She jumped up and opened the door. “Troy, what are you doing here?” she asked still sleepy. “Lila’s friend huh?” Troy yelled. “Yes, Lila’s friend. Are you drunk Troy?” Emma pushed past him, “You need to leave.” “You're coming with me, we have a lot to talk about,” Troy laughed pulling her arm. “Release her,” Brody warned. “Fuck you,” Troy laughed. “Enough!” Emma yelled, “Troy, do you want the police to be called again?” Troy laughed, “Why the fuck not, what else can you do to me?” Emma’s eyes felt like they were on fire, “Haven’t you done enough?” She asked as tears started to flow down her face. “What can I possibly do Troy, to make your life any easier?” “Take me back Emma, I’ll be better,” Troy asserted. “No,” Emma said sternly looking down. “How the hell am I supposed to fix this then, huh? How?” Troy pleaded. “By admitting you have a problem and getting help. Get help,” Emma said and he hugged her. Her body stiffened as he clung to her. “I will. For us, Emma,” Troy said softly in her ear. Brody looked at her and could tell she was appalled. Emma took a deep breath and opened her eyes and saw the five guys standing there. How embarrassing, she thought. The music turned off, and Lila yelled, “Is there a party here without me? You know I do have neighbors,” she laughed and turned the corner and saw them all. “Well hello Troy— how the hell did you get in here?” Lila asked pissed. “Lila,” he said and tipped his head. “Did you ever tell Emma what happened between you and me?” “You mean when you tried to get me to go home with you, no I spared her the details. Emma we can discuss this later? In the meantime your ass needs to leave,” Lila said to Troy. “Can we please talk about this Emma, please?” Troy pleaded. “Lila, can I have a minute?” Emma asked. “Sure Emma. Come on boys,” Lila said and they all left the hallway and went into the kitchen, all except Brody who walked into the bathroom. “Emma, can we work through this. If I go to rehab, can we be a family again?” Troy pleaded. “I think you should go to rehab Troy. As far as you and I are concerned — it’s over. However, we have London so for the rest of our lives we’re bound. You need to want to fix things for her and for you, do you understand?” Emma said in a concerned tone. “If that will help us, then that’s what I’ll do.” “You don’t get it. London is your daughter, Troy. She deserves to have a healthy relationship with you. For that to happen you need to be healthy,” Emma said with pleading eyes. “How about this, what are you going to do when I sit in rehab getting the help you think I need? What
are you going to do for money without my child support? When I get out am I going to owe you all the back support and what about health insurance — do you ever think? Jesus Emma,” Troy snapped. “Here’s the deal Troy. I want nothing if you’re not getting a paid leave, I want nothing but for my daughter to have a healthy father. Get better Troy. We’re done here,” Emma said. “What about visitation Emma? When can I see her?” Troy asked. “I talked to my lawyer, and she suggested supervised visits. But Troy, if you think the nonsense you put her through the other day was alright? With telling her that I had a boyfriend and trying to make her mad at me. Telling her I was at fault for this divorce and not that your several girlfriends played a major role in our marriage falling apart. She’s seven years old, maybe while you are at rehab you could take a fucking course on growing up as well!” “You're pushing me Em, I wouldn’t if I were you,” Troy growled. Emma laughed, “Time for you to leave.” “Why, so you can go fuck the rock star?” Troy yelled. “Oh yes, the same way I fucked you for the first four years we were together, remember that Troy?” she looked at his eyes. “Oh and the endless blow jobs, I can’t wait to get started on those. Oh and anal — lots and lots of that, I never thought I would like it, but people change over the years. You certainly did. I think I’ll give it a try,” Emma said seductively. “You’re a bitch Emma, you changed,” Troy snarled. “Yes I have, thanks to you,” Emma said and walked him to the door. “Let me know what you decide. Did you drive?” “No, why? Did you want to call the police?” Troy said as he scowled at her and walked out. *** Emma sat at the kitchen island drinking a cup of tea and saw Brody walk down the hall and she could tell he was trying not to smile. Lila and the other guys walked into the kitchen, they all stood and looked at Emma. Emma laughed, “So he hit on you Lila?” “Sorry Emma, I would have told you, but you had just miscarried, and I didn’t want to upset you anymore,” Lila said cautiously. “Alright then. So what are we going to do tonight?” Emma forced a smile. “I thought you already made plans Emma,” Brody tried to hold back his amusement. “No, I guess I could get ready for my interviews. You guys have fun,” Emma said and turned towards the hall. “Emma I’m going to order dinner in tonight. The guys are staying to avoid the press. Don’t go back in there, please. Have a drink with us,” Lila begged. “I don’t want to intrude,” Emma said and smiled. Lila handed her a glass of wine, and she sat and listened to Brody and his friends talk as she thumbed through her music. “Emma would you like to listen to Maroon 5 or Kids Bop?” Brody said and laughed as he took the wine and handed her a beer. “How about Brody Hines?” His friend Joe asked. “No, she doesn’t care for my music,” Brody laughed without smiling. “I never said that,” Emma said apologetically. “What do you mean you don’t like his music?” Joe said laughing. “It’s not fun enough, not poppy,” he laughed. There’s that P again, Emma thought and smiled to herself. She threw him a silly look, “It’s great — just not happy and upbeat.” “So it’s music that you would make love to?” Joe asked.
Emma choked on her drink, and Brody laughed. “No, more like watching someone through a window as they have sex, right Emma?” “Wow, that’s pretty awkward if that’s what you got out of our conversation,” Emma said and laughed uncomfortably. “No...awkward would be the conversation I heard while using the restroom, and you and your ex were talking…” Brody laughed obviously loosening up after a few drinks. “Do tell,” Lila giggled as Emma closed her eyes and tried not to laugh. “Well apparently, Emma is going to make some rock star very happy. Lots of sex, blowjobs, and possibly…” Brody started, and Emma threw a towel at him, he laughed. “Emma dear, were you talking about me?” “Troy brought it up and I was trying to make him mad,” Emma turned red. “Well, I think you succeeded,” Brody guffawed. “Were you spying on me?” Emma smirked. “No, I truly had to use the restroom, when I went to leave, that ass was being rude. I was afraid he may hurt you,” Brody said sincerely looking into Emma’s eyes. When he looked at her like that, she felt vulnerable and nervous. She cast her eyes down hoping to find something humorous to say to make her less uncomfortable. “That’s very sweet of Brody, isn’t it?” Lila said looking at his friends. Joe smiled, “Brody man, you’re pretty intense.” “Or pretty drunk,” Emma smiled at them, trying to lighten the conversation that was now making her uncomfortable. “I’m not drunk,” Brody said insistently and sat back. “I don’t like him.” “Well me either,” Emma laughed and stood up. “Anyone want a drink?” “I do,” they all said. “Turn on some music,” Emma yelled over her shoulder. Emma handed out drinks and sat down and listened to the music. Her foot was tapping, and Joe noticed, “You like this song Emma?” “Yes— actually it’s upbeat,” Emma smiled. “It’s Brody,” Joe grinned. “Okay, what changed from then and now?” Emma looked at Brody. “I was younger,” Brody sat forward and looked at his friends. “We had a lot of fun then, huh?” “Sure did, but that was before,” Joe said and laughed. “Yes…before,” Brody laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Before what?” Lila asked. “Before that whose name we cannot mention,” Joe laughed. “Well then we won’t,” Emma laughed. “So why not live like you did then, happier times?” “It was in England, five years ago. We were twenty three then,” Brody smiled looking down. “So you two were thirty?” Lila laughed, “I was, Emma was twenty nine.” “Happier times,” Emma smiled as she grabbed her phone and sent a text to London. - I miss you London, can't wait to see you…Mommy - Miss you too. I’m having a great time with Grandma. I’m tired and going to bed. I will call you tomorrow…London - Sweet dreams, make sure you say your prayers…Mommy “Are you texting London?” Lila asked.
“Yep,” Emma smiled. “You know people in London?” Joe asked. “Her daughter’s name is London,” Brody told him. “How old is she?” Joe asked. “She is seven,” Brody and Emma said at the same time. Brody smiled, “She is a beautiful girl, Emma. You miss her?” “Thank you and yes very much,” Emma said. She looked at her watch, and it was only eight o’clock. “Are we keeping you from something? Maybe a date with a Rock Star?” Brody smiled making her uncomfortable. “Hmm is Maroon Five playing here tonight?” Emma laughed, “Or no — how about Pearl Jam?” “Eddie Vedor,” Emma and Lila said and laughed. “Isn’t his music quite serious?” Brody asked. “Yep, he was a favorite in college,” Lila answered. “Green Day,” Emma laughed. “Emma, you’re drunk,” Lila laughed. “Wow...I think I am,” Emma smiled at her. “We should go out and dance Lila!” “Or we could dance here?” Lila stood up and flipped through her music. “But who would be the lucky Rock Star?” Brody looked directly into her eyes as he bit his cheek trying not to smile. “Do you think you could play the part?” Emma smiled as she winked and laughed at him. He blushed. “Emma!” Lila said shocked. “I was joking,” Emma laughed. “Well that’s a shame” Joe laughed, “Isn’t it Brody?” Brody smiled seductively as he looked her up and down, “Sure is.” Lila and Emma cleaned up the coffee table and sat on the couch looking through a college yearbook. Brody, Joe, Quinn, and Max laughed over their shoulders as they showed them pictures. “Well let's see your pictures from eleven years ago, I’m sure they would be just as funny,” Lila laughed. “We were seventeen,” Max laughed. “Wow that makes me feel ancient!” Lila laughed. “No kidding,” Emma smiled and laughed. “We could be their mothers!” Emma and Lila laughed until tears came out of their eyes. “Were you sexually active and menstruating at seventeen?” Brody asked his voice and face suddenly turned serious. Lila and Emma laughed harder. “I don’t think so,” Emma said laughing. “When did you have sex for the first time?” Brody asked. “Are you always this serious?” Emma looked at him as she tried not to laugh. “Just curious,” Brody looked intense. “Well I was in high school, it was after my junior Prom,” Lila laughed. “Emma here made Troy wait two years before she put out. So that was thirteen years ago right Emma?” “Yes,” Emma laughed. “I tormented him; perhaps that’s why he turned out to be an ass.” “Oh now it’s your turn guys let's have it,” Lila said. “It’s not something I would like to share,” Brody said biting his bottom lip trying not to smile. “Too private? Maybe you should sing it then,” Emma laughed. “Well my dear Emma, I was thirteen. So by my best guess, I had sex for the first time before you.
Making it impossible that you could be my mother, do you understand?” Brody said searching deeply in her eyes. “I do. You were a slut,” Emma laughed, and everyone joined in which broke Brody’s intense look. “I was not,” his smile hit his eyes. “Thirteen? Did you even know what your penis was for at that age?” Emma laughed. “Apparently I did, I still do. I think anyway...it’s been a very long time,” Brody snickered. “You’re a Rock Star hot stuff, get out there,” Emma laughed. “You first Emma,” Brody smiled. “I’m not divorced, oh and I’m a Mom,” Emma laughed. Brody smiled at her, “But I should just go have sex with anyone willing?” “Well not anyone, I mean I’m sure you can be picky,” Emma said, and she and Lila giggled. “Besides, if you just had sex with anyone willing you would probably never finish your album, you would be a very busy boy.” “Thank you for the ego boost,” Brody’s eyes expressed amusement. “No problem. I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you guys. I’m going to bed,” Emma smiled. “Goodnight.” Emma walked down the hall and into the bedroom. *** “What’s going on with you Brody?” Joe asked. “Whatever do you mean?” Brody asked in a serious tone and took a drink. “Emma, do you have a thing for her?” Joe asked. “I find her interesting, refreshing actually. As far as a thing goes, I wouldn’t say that,” Brody said deep in thought. “You wouldn’t, but those of us watching what goes on with you when she’s present would beg to differ,” Lila smiled. “On that note, goodnight everyone.” *** Emma walked into the midtown office building and had butterflies in her stomach. She rode the elevator to the twenty second floor. The doors opened and she stepped out into the lobby of Writes House and looked around. The brunette behind the desk asked if she could help her, she told her that she was there for an interview, she was asked to have a seat and wait to be called. Emma’s interview went well. She had three more that day— all of which made her feel uneasy, not because she felt like they didn’t like her, but because she didn’t want life to change for London. She wanted something to be normal. *** Emma walked into Lila’s apartment, and Brody was sitting at the counter with his iPad, looking serious. “Hello Brody,” Emma said as she walked past him. “Oh good afternoon, I didn’t hear you come in, how did your interviews go?” Brody turned towards her. “They went fine,” Emma said softly. “Why do you look bewildered?” Brody pulled out the chair next to him and patted it for her to sit. Emma sat and looked up at him, “I guess because I am. If any of them offer me the job it would mean I would have to move.” “And did you not expect that?”
“Well,” Emma said looking down in deep thought, “I guess I just don’t want to do that to my daughter. She’s already had to make a lot of changes.” “Children are resilient, right?” Emma laughed, “That’s what they say. I think they just have no choice. The adults make the decision not taking into consideration what they want or need,” Emma laughed knowing she was getting too serious. “But it’s my job to figure out what is best for her, and I will.” “What are your options?” Brody asked. “Well, I could stay where we are and hope to get enough substitute teaching jobs to pay living expenses, dance tuition, oh and I promised piano lessons. I could continue being there for everything which I have been fortunate enough to do, even after the split, or I could take whatever offer I’m given and move with my parents until I find a place, and depend on them to pick up my slack,” Emma said shaking her head. “Or you could run away with your daughter, you had mentioned that before,” Brody smiled. Emma laughed, “That too. Lots to figure out. So what’s next for you?” “I guess I’m going back to my house in Liverpool to finish my album and breathe,” Brody said looking confused. “After I wrap some things up here,” he sat back. “Well I truly wish you the best, Brody Hines,” Emma said with a smile. He leaned forward and looked intensely in her eyes, and she couldn’t pull her eyes away from him. Oh he is beautiful, she thought as she took a quick sharp breath. “Emma, are you alright?” Brody whispered. Her eyes widened, and she nodded her head yes. He took her hand and kissed it. Holy shit, she thought as she looked down. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” “God yes,” Emma gasped nervously. “Can I hug you Emma?” Brody asked softly staring at her making her more uncomfortable. Sure at least then I wouldn’t have to feel you staring at me. She nodded her head yes, and he stood and wrapped his arms around her. “I want you to be alright, I just don’t know why…” Brody whispered. She wrapped her arms around him, “Thank you.” Damn he smells good, and he’s so damn gorgeous, oh boy this isn’t good, she thought. She felt him pulling away and lifting her chin. “Emma I’m going to kiss you.” Emma opened her eyes just in time to move her face so that his kiss landed on her cheek. “Oh, oh, I’m extremely sorry,” Brody said releasing her and stepping back looking dismayed. “Oh, please don’t be like that, please,” Emma grabbed his hand. “No, I overstepped, I just thought...Damn it.” “Oh Brody please don’t make this awkward, I’ve truly enjoyed getting to know you,” Emma pleaded. “I don’t know how I can avoid awkward after that,” he started walking towards the door. “Please don’t go,” slipped out of Emma’s mouth before she could stop it. He turned and looked at her. His face was a cross between mad and confused. “Emma, I thought there was something...I’m sorry.” She watched him grab his jacket and felt panicked. She didn’t realize until that very moment that she truly liked him, no she needed him, “Maybe I messed up,” she said loudly and gasped. “Emma,” he breathed out as he turned around, “You’re confusing me.” “Well you just confused me and now you’re leaving?” “Do you want me to stay Emma?” Brody searched her face.
“Yes,” Emma said softly. “But how do we get past that?” Brody asked motioning to the spot he kissed her. “I don’t know, maybe try it again,” she looked down. He walked to her and wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted her chin with the other, she was trembling. “Emma you’re shaking,” he kissed her cheek. “Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “You don’t have to,” Brody said softly as he stroked her hair and pulled her closer to him. “I want to,” Emma whispered. “You’re sure?” He searched her eyes. She quickly closed them and whispered, “Would you just kiss me?” His lips lightly touched hers, and she kissed him lightly back. She let out a breath and he kissed her again. His light kisses made her head spin, and they became longer and firmer. Oh this is nice, this is really nice, she thought. She felt him start to slow and pull away. Emma’s eyes were still closed as she caught her breath. “Was that alright?” He asked softly in her ear as he held her closely. “Uh huh,” Emma let out a breath. She looked up at him, and he was looking into her eyes. She closed her eyes and grabbed his face lightly and kissed him again. Brody moaned and kissed her. She kissed him harder and he returned her kiss. He gently kissed her top lip and then her bottom and she gasped as he kissed down her neck. He returned to her lips and gently pulled at Emma’s bottom lip with his teeth. She opened her mouth and his tongue gently entered hers. Emma closed her lips around it and lightly pulled her mouth down his tongue. His breath quickened and he grabbed her face and kissed her harder. He moved down her neck and she couldn’t restrain the moan that escaped her mouth. Brody lifted her and pulled her legs around his tall lean muscular body. She held tightly around his neck as he walked towards the living room and he pulled back and looked at her. “Emma,” he started, and she pulled his hair gently towards her. She kissed him as he pushed her against the wall. Emma let out a breath and kissed his neck and bit lightly down. He moaned and walked to the chaise lounge and laid her down. He was on top of her, and she wrapped herself around him and pulled his face to hers and kissed him again and again. “Oh Shit,” Lila said as she walked in the apartment and saw them on the chaise. He stood up and clenched his jaw and turned away from Lila. Emma saw the bulge and bit her cheek trying not to smile. He gave her a frustrated yet sexy smile and walked down the hall and into the bathroom. “Oh Emma, I’m so sorry,” Lila said in shock. “Excuse me please,” Emma said turning a hundred different shades of red and went into the bedroom. She shut the door and buried her head in her pillow. *** “Sorry about that, Lila,” Brody said trying not to smile when he returned to the living room. “I don’t think you are,” Lila laughed. “Where did she go?” Brody whispered. Lila laughed, “The bedroom, I think you should go see how she is.” “Did she look upset to you?” Brody asked with deep concern in his voice. “I’m not sure, you should go find out,” Lila said turning away so he couldn’t see her smile. Brody knocked on the door and didn’t wait for her to answer as he entered the room, “Emma, are you alright?”
“Um, yes,” she said trying to hide the smile from her voice. She felt the bed move as he sat next to her. “Why are you hiding your face then Emma?” “Well Brody,” Emma said using her best English accent and laughed, “I’m embarrassed.” “Why’s that?” Brody lay down next to her. He is lying in a bed next to me, he’s so hot, and he is lying down next to me. She thought burying her face even further in the pillow as she giggled. “Emma, are you and I twelve?” Brody laughed. “No, but I just kissed you, and I liked it,” Emma looked at him in shock. He gasped mimicking her expression and they both laughed. “You also bit me,” he said teasingly and pulled her into his arms, “and I liked it,” He whispered gruffly against her neck. “Lila’s here,” she said as he continued to kiss her neck and moved back to her lips. “Mmm,” he moaned. They kissed passionately, and Emma pulled back quickly, “What time is it?” “I don’t care,” Brody kissed her again. Emma pulled back and smiled, “London’s going to be here at seven,” she said pulling away and leaned over and grabbed her phone. One hour and I get to see my little girl.” “I would like to meet her,” Brody smiled. Emma’s face fell, “That’s not alright with you is it?” Emma took a deep breath, “Yes, you’re Lila’s friend.” “And London’s extremely beautiful mother’s future lover?” Brody laughed knowing it would make her uncomfortable. “Oh I’m sorry, do you think she is a tad young to hear that?” Emma’s face was crimson, and her jaw dropped. “Emma I was joking. I would never tell her of my intentions, I haven’t even told her mother yet.” He smiled and kissed her. Emma sat staring at the bed as he stood up, “Brody I…” She started. “Don’t worry. I’ll behave,” he smiled. “But,” Emma began and looked at him smiling, “You’re being silly.” “Do you prefer the tormented chap you’ve gotten to known over the week?” Brody laughed. “Well no, but which one are you? I’m confused,” Emma said looking down. Brody sat next to her, “Tormented was when I knew I was wildly attracted to you when I ran into you at the park, then amused at the club, then angry the next day, then poignant that I could have hurt you by being so self- centered, then truly intrigued by how you care for your child and said you felt about my music, and yesterday with your ex I was angry and felt protective, and then particularly turned on by your confession of what you might want to do to some Rock Star,” he laughed. “Then last night Emma — you are lovely. I haven’t felt this way about anyone and I mean anyone, in years — if ever. And now I want to kiss you again.” “Okay,” she closed her eyes. He kissed her, and she kissed him back. He pulled her closer and they held each other tightly as they caught their breath. “I want to know how you are feeling right now Emma,” Brody said gazing in her eyes. Her phone chimed. *** - Mommy we are about thirty minutes away!!!...<3 London - I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!!...<3 Mommy “To be continued, Emma? By the way, you need to do something with your hair, you have sex hair,” he
laughed and kissed her then walked out the door. Emma showered and threw on some Khaki cargo pants and a button down shirt. She toweled off her hair and walked into the kitchen. Lila, Brody, and Brody’s friends all looked at Emma. “Hey Emma,” Joe smiled knowingly at her. “Hello.” Emma said and looked panicked at Lila, “London and Mom should be here soon. I think I’m going to get a room tonight.” “Why would you do that?” Brody pushed her hair behind her ear and looked deeply into her eyes. “Well…” She pulled back and looked around, “I know you are all having a great time, and I don’t want to interrupt that,” Emma smiled. “First of all no, you’re staying. My friends leave in an hour for the airport. Lila said you have plans tonight. Secondly Emma, I promised I won’t behave badly,” Brody smiled, and his friends laughed. Emma was shocked and walked away. Brody followed her and grabbed her arm. “You told them!” She snapped. “Lila knows and well,” Brody said looking embarrassed, “They knew how I felt before any of this happened, from the moment they saw how I looked at you Emma. Come now, don’t be angry at me,” Brody said and hugged her. “Brody, my little girl is going to be walking through that door any minute. She’s been through hell. I haven’t seen her in three days, and that’s a first. I can’t put her through any more. I’m sorry Brody,” Emma said and pulled away. “Emma please listen to me. They won’t say anything, I wouldn’t do that to you and they’re my closest most trusted friends. Please understand that. I’ll leave Emma, if I’m making this difficult,” Brody looked down. Emma took a deep breath visibly relaxing, “Is that angry or tormented Rock Star?” Emma smiled. He looked up at her confused. “I’m sorry. I just can’t hurt her, and I don’t want you to hurt either, just...don’t leave,” Emma heard the doorbell. She smiled and grabbed his face and kissed him. She pulled away and saw Lila and the guys standing there. Of course, she thought. Brody followed her eyes. “Not a word,” he warned them.
CHAPTER FOUR “Mommy!” London yelled and jumped on Emma and they both fell to the ground, “Oh sorry.” “You missed me a lot, huh? I’ve missed you more,” Emma kissed her face like a crazy woman. London laughed and squealed, “We missed each other more!” Emma grabbed her and picked her up and twirled her around, “Are you ready to have fun?” London smiled and nodded her head. “Sorry mom, please come in.” Emma hugged her mother. London was staring at Brody and smiling. Brody was doing the same. Emma laughed, “London this is Brody Hines, Brody this is London Fields.” “Pleased to meet you, Brody Hines,” London reached out her hand. “The pleasure is mine, London Fields,” Brody kissed her hand. London laughed. “You talk funny,” London smiled, “You don’t sing that way.” He laughed, “I have an accent because I lived in England for a very long time.” “Near London?” “Yes, and did I hear you say you heard my music?” Brody said, squatting down looking in her eyes. “Well my Dad Googled it, and I listened. It was alright, a little sad, but good. Friends at school said they saw pictures of you and my Mom, and now they have your albums on their MP3 players. Do you play a guitar?” London asked. “Yes — and piano,” Brody said smiled as he listened to this little girl talking as if she were an adult. “I’m going to learn piano,” London motioned to her grandmother. “By the way Brody, this is my grandmother Caroline, Grandma this is Lila’s friend Brody,” London said with a sheepish grin. Emma looked at her curiously. And Brody laughed. “Nice to meet you, Caroline,” Brody shook her hand. “Pleasure to meet you. Lila, your friend is a doll. Emma, would you be offended if I left now? I have missed your father,” Caroline winked. Emma looked shocked. “Um, alright Mom, thank you,” she hugged her. Her parents have been married for thirty six years and were still deeply in love. Emma never realized it could be any different. “Mom I’m going to take my things down to your room, then use the bathroom, alright?” London said as she walked towards the hall. “What the hell just happened?” Emma said finally able to speak. Lila laughed, “I’m not sure.” Brody shook his head, “London’s a doll. Very smart and well spoken,” he smiled as he passed by, “And your mother, well she is a treat,” he whispered in her ear. “Holy shit,” Emma said loudly. “Mom, that’s a bad word,” London said as she returned. “I’m sorry honey, but it’s a grown up word…” Emma started. “I know if adults decide to use vulgar language, they can. It’s a sign that their vocabulary is lacking,” London laughed as she walked in the bathroom. Emma laughed, “Eating those words right now.” Brody walked back in smirking, “Are you enjoying yourself?”
*** “I am...A great deal,” Brody flashed a big perfect smile and his eyes twinkled. Emma looked at him and took a quick breath, he looked at her as if he was confused and then smiled with his whole face. Oh Emma, you are going to be so much fun, Brody thought. He winked at her. *** “So mom what are we doing tonight?” London bound down the hallway. “What would you like to do?” Emma grabbed her hand and sat on the couch. London sat down, “Dinner and a show?” “What would you like to see?” Emma asked. “Wicked — Dad was supposed to take me and well, that didn’t work out,” London said and looked upset briefly, “But the show must go on right?” “Absolutely,” Emma hugged her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and swallowed. “We’ll see what we can do, but no promises. It’s Friday night I don’t knows if we can even get tickets,” Emma got up and grabbed her laptop and walked back out. London wasn’t there. Emma walked in the kitchen, and London was sitting on a stool next to Brody talking to his friends. “You disappeared on me,” she kissed London’s head. London smiled, “I was just meeting Joe, Max, and Quinn. They’re flying back to England today. Nice to meet all of you,” London jumped down, “Mom I’m going to shower, to get ready to go out,” Emma sucked in her lips not to smile. “If Brody’s friends are leaving he should go with us, wouldn’t want him to be lonely without them. Lila said she would go,” London disappeared down the hall. “She’s grown up so much Emma,” Lila laughed. “Yeah, when did that happen?” Emma wondered out loud. “Last weekend,” she said quietly lost in thought. “Emma, she seems fine,” Lila said. Emma looked up and forced a smile on her face, “I suppose.” “So Brody are you going out tonight?” Quinn asked. “Oh he couldn’t, he would be seen,” Emma shook her head. “That must suck.” “Potty mouth,” London said from behind her, “Is there Halloween in England?” “Yes, it is not as immensely celebrated as it is here, why do you ask?” Brody asked with amusement in his voice. “Well we could dress you up, no one would even notice,” London said raising her eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What would I be?” Brody smiled. “Maybe Glenda?” London laughed loudly. “I’m sure that would go unnoticed, a six foot tall man in women’s clothing in New York City? Not as odd as one would think, London,” Joe laughed teasingly. “Drag queens?” London asked. “London, did grandma teach you that?” Emma asked shocked. “Mom do you remember recess?” London raised her eyebrow and putting her hand on her hip. “So Brody, if you would like to join us I will come up with something, think about it,” London said as she walked to the bathroom. “Who is that and what has she done with my daughter?” Emma looked down. “You don’t have to go,” Emma said to Brody. “I think I want to,” Brody smiled, “Unless you would prefer that I don’t come along.” “No, that’s not what I was saying, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to,” Emma said sincerely. “Emma dear, if he didn’t want to go he would not go,” Max smiled. “I think he likes your daughter,” he
laughed. Emma smiled, “Alright then, I’m going to go see about tickets.” Emma was searching online when the guys were leaving. They came in to say goodbye. “It was nice meeting all of you.” Emma said and hugged each of them. “I’m certain we’ll see each other again,” Joe said and gave her a big kiss. Emma laughed. “Alright London, it’s not looking good for tonight, unless we want nose bleed seats,” Emma said showing her the computer. “What about tomorrow night? Front row center?” London smiled. “Sure London, we can stay with Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow night,” Emma grabbed London and pulled her on her lap and hugged her. “No way, you’re staying here — we can hang out all weekend. I don’t have anything going on,” Lila snuggled into them, “Where are we going to dinner, London?” “I don’t care, where do you think Brody?” London smiled. “What kind of food do you like? Mac and cheese and chicken nuggets?” Brody asked. “Processed food? No, we don’t do that, it’s full of chemicals. I like chicken, veggies, and pasta. How about you?” “Chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese,” he laughed. “I’m not a good cook.” “We can teach you, right Mom?” “Well, not everyone wants to learn how to cook London,” Emma smiled. “Do you cook London?” Brody asked. “I can cook some things. Pasta, eggs, toast, oatmeal, and I help make cookies. Mom’s chocolate chip cookies are the best,” London exclaimed. “Well maybe you could cook us dinner, breakfast for dinner sounds good, right?” Brody asked. “I’m in New York City, I want to go out,” London audaciously said. They all laughed, “Where to London?” Emma asked. “Tavern on the Green, I saw it in a movie,” London smiled. “Let’s see what we can do,” Emma said and looked up the number. “Do you both want to come?” “Of course,” London said looking at Brody and then Lila, both accepted with a smile. “Okay then,” Emma smiled. *** They ate dinner at Tavern on the Green. Brody decided he didn’t have to dress up. It was a place he knew he could go to and not be bothered. When they left, they took a horse and carriage ride through Central Park. When they returned to Lila’s apartment, London was fast asleep. Emma tucked her in and kissed her. She waited for her little sleepy shake that she had done since infancy that let Emma know she was in a deep enough sleep to leave the room without her waking up. Lila and Brody were sitting on the couch talking when Emma walked out. “Is she asleep?” Lila asked. “Yes, she is. Thanks for going with us tonight and for dinner, although I’m annoyed by that just so you know, Brody,” Emma said sternly. “Then you’re going to be truly annoyed with Lila, she got four tickets for Wicked tomorrow,” Brody laughed. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself and my daughter,” Emma said and her face turned red. “Emma, I wanted to. We wanted to. It’s not charity, so stop acting like that and sit with us,” Lila said as she patted the couch next to her. “I have to check my e- mail,” Emma said and started to walk away. Brody grabbed her hand and handed her his iPad, “Here, use mine.”
Emma thanked him, sat, and opened her inbox. She smiled and read. “What are you smiling about?” Lila said. “I have an offer,” Emma said, “And if I’m ready it would be a fabulous offer, look at this.” Lila read and then spoke, “Emma, you need to think about this. Sleep on it; this could be huge for you and London.” “I would have to move London...again; I would be away from her for a lot of hours. I want to be able to work from home, to work when she is busy. She doesn’t have someone she can count on to fill my void,” Emma said. “I can’t do that to her. It would change everything, again.” “Emma don’t think like that, don’t do it to her. Do it for her,” Lila said softly. Emma felt her eyes burning, excusing herself going to the bathroom where she could cry. She was overwhelmed, completely overwhelmed. Emma knew what living paycheck to paycheck meant. She’s never had to live not knowing when she would get any support or not knowing there was money coming in from somewhere. Now she was waiting to be called in to work when someone was sick, just to get paid. Emma stood up and washed her face and walked back out. “Everything alright Emma?” Brody stood and gazed down at her, she smiled. “Hmm, that’s a fake smile,” he said softly, “It’s alright to be upset.” “Welcome back, deep Brody,” she smiled. “Anytime Emma,” he said and kissed the top of her head. “Emma I’m not trying to interrupt your moment, but you should look at this,” Lila said and handed her the iPad. Emma read the e- mail. Write House had offered her a job; it was a flat salary plus commissions. Emma would be required to come in three days a week for six hours a day with the possibility of less office time dependent upon performance. Emma’s starting salary would be eighty five thousand a year. Tears started rolling down Emma’s face, and she smiled. Emma looked at Lila. “It’s almost perfect,” she smiled softly. “Emma, do it for both of you.” “Lila it’s going change her whole life,” Emma said quietly looking down. “Emma, is that such a bad thing?” “Probably not,” Emma hugged her knees. Brody looked at Lila; he was trying not to react. His eyes wide and jaw set. Lila smiled at him. “Do what you have to do,” she laughed, “both of you, goodnight.” “Goodnight,” Emma said softly and cleared her voice. She sat up and grabbed his iPad and read the rest of her emails as he sat at the edge of the couch knee bouncing and foot tapping. “You are very noisy — occupational hazard?” “God Emma, are you alright?” he said, finally exhaling. “I am, are you?” Emma laughed quietly when she saw that his face mirrored what she was feeling inside. “No, not really,” Brody threw himself back into the couch. Emma set down the iPad and turned towards Brody. “What’s wrong?” He laughed, “Emma you were crying, which means you‘re not alright…” “I’ll be alright, it’s just something I have to figure out,” Emma laughed trying to make light of the situation. “And you don’t like it, and you’re hurting,” he said intensely. “Brody, are you going to be okay?” He took a deep breath and looked down shaking his head, “What the hell is it with you?” “I’m not sure what you mean Brody, but you need to breathe,” Emma grabbed his hand gently. He laughed, “This is not happening, I want to make sure you are alright, not the other way around. I
should leave you alone, I’m not making this any easier, for fuck sake you feel like you have to take care of me,” Emma looked down and scowled. Brody grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap and held her. She didn’t breathe, he kissed her head and pushed his forehead into hers, “I need you to be alright, or I’m going to kill that bastard.” “You wouldn’t fare very well in prison,” Emma hugged him. Brody hugged her tighter, “No?” Emma laughed, “No.” “This is hard for you, I know how damaged I felt after Ariel screwed around. I didn’t have a beautiful little girl to take care of and Emma, I’ve never known a person in my life that put another person’s wellbeing ahead of their own dreams and desires, until now,” Brody sighed sweetly, “But after meeting her, I get it. Your daughter is precious.” “Thank you. I’m a Mom, and not any different than many people who have kids. We all want what’s best for our children. I’m just highly aware that everything I do affects her, along with the rest of her life, nothing special. So Brody Hines, tell me about your family,” Emma said looking up at him. “Not much to tell, you could Google it,” he smiled. “I prefer to hear it from you if you want to talk. If not, I can Google it,” Emma laughed. “Do you need to know Emma?” Brody swallowed hard. “Not if it’s going to hurt you.” “Emma, how do you feel about me now?” “Well, I have to say I’m confused. I know I care about how you feel, but honestly I care about how everyone feels,” Emma laughed. “No, how do YOU feel about ME?” He asked with an intensity that made her stomach flip. “Well I like you. I like to be around you. I like that you seem to like me. I like how you seem to like my daughter. I like your music, even if you don’t believe me,” she laughed, “I like your sense of humor, have I said enough? Have I answered your question?” “What don’t you like about me?” Brody asked pulling her hair back away from her face. “That you’re making me feel uncomfortable right now, by asking a lot of questions,” she paused hoping he would change the subject and he didn’t, “I don’t like your age, I feel like Mrs. Robinson and I don’t like that I’m attracted to you. I don’t like that I feel drawn to you. I don’t like that you’re a celebrity.” Brody smiled and lifted her chin and kissed her gently. “I like to kiss you,” Emma kissed him hard taking his hair in her hands and pulling his face into hers. He tastes so damn good, not like alcohol or like gum trying to mask alcohol. His taste was hot and sweet. And I want more, she thought. He pulled her up and she sat on his lap straddling him, his lips never leaving hers. His kisses became harder and more possessive and when she pulled back to breathe and he kissed down her neck then back to her ear. He moaned as he pulled at her ear and she became intensely aware of his excitement. “I think we should stop,” Emma pulled further back and he put his hands up, and she fell backwards. Emma was leaning backwards holding herself up with her hands on the floor laughing. “What is this scar from?” Brody asked as he kissed her stomach. Oh God, she thought. “Brody, please,” she whimpered as he kissed her stomach and licked her belly button. “Oh,” she let out and he pulled her up and smiled a hot sexy smile that made her feel like she was going to explode right there. “Stop smiling at me,” Emma said raising her eyebrow as she scooted completely off him. He smirked as he watched her try to get herself together. “Cut it out,” she whispered. “I thought you were curious about my feelings, Brody.”
“I was until I found your belly button,” he pulled her back down and kissed her. “Oh no,” Emma said smiling. No, no, no, she told herself as she stood up. “Emma, sit back down here,” he pulled her onto him. “Brody as much fun as it is sitting here on…you, I need to go to sleep,” Emma kissed him, sat back and smiled. “Are you sure Emma?” Brody said kissing her. “Brain yes, body no,” she said breathlessly as she stood up. “How many people have you slept with?” “Um, I’m not sure?” Brody said confused. “I have had sex with one person,” Emma sat next to him, Brody laughed uncomfortable. “And you don’t even have a number.” “I’m sorry. I can tell you I have had sex with seven people in the seven years I have lived in the U.S.” Brody said shaking his head. “And the…” she held her hands up counting, “Seven years before that?” “Emma, they were very busy years,” Brody expressed his amusement uncomfortably. “Did you use condoms?” “Really? Are we having the sex talk Emma?” Brody responded tilting his head slightly to the side. “Do you want to make...fuck me Brody?” Emma inquired in a straightforward tone looking him in the eyes. Brody gasped in shock from her curt statement and smiled, “Yes I do want to have sex with you.” “Have you been tested for STD’s?” Emma crossed her arms in front of her. Brody grabbed her with one arm around her waist and held the back of her head tightly to his face and kissed her, and she melted, he pulled away leaving her panting. “Do you want me Emma?” He whispered in her ear and kissed her neck. “Uh huh, I want you…too, yes.” Emma breathed out. He laid her down on the couch and kissed her as she lay there letting him, and her head was spinning, “Oh please...not now.” He kissed her mouth and sat up, “Okay Emma, I had sex with at least twenty women before moving here.” “That’s a lot,” Emma whispered and sat up keeping her eyes closed. “I was tested a year ago, free and clear. I’ll do it again if you need me to,” Brody said looking at her, “Emma open your eyes, do you need me to get tested?” “Uh huh.” “Have you been tested?” He laughed. “Yes, every year since London was born, oh God I hope she didn’t wake up, what time is it?” Emma reached across him to grab her phone. “It’s two in the morning?” “Time flies,” Brody smiled. “My daughter gets up every morning at six thirty, you won’t be laughing when I have her wake you up,” Emma said trying to make him nervous. “Well then...I’m going to have a shower,” Brody kissed her gently as he whispered in her ear, “and jerk off.” Emma tried to hide her smile, “Really? Can I watch?” “Are you serious?” Brody tried to hide the excitement in his voice. “No, I think you can handle it,” Emma tried to stop smiling as she stood up, “Pun intended,” she gently kissed his head. “No one has ever told me no, Emma,” Brody said quietly, “It’s going to make me try that much harder.” “Get tested. Good night, music man,” Emma said as she walked into the bathroom.
When Emma finished in the bathroom she started to walk out, and he pushed her gently into the bathroom, “I need to check something out, I’m fairly certain I don’t need to be tested for this,” he reached under her shirt and squeezed her breast gently as he kissed her. “Very nice,” he pulled her in to him for another kiss. He held her against him, and she felt her bra unsnap. In one swift move, he lifted her shirt and bent down and took her breast in his mouth and the other in his hand. She leaned against the counter, and he lifted her up setting her on it. His mouth was full, and he sucked and tugged gently at her erect nipple while using his fingers to mimic his movements on the other breast. Emma felt her body begin to burn. “Oh God,” she moaned and he tugged harder, it was almost painful if not for the pleasure she felt. “You have to stop,” she moaned as her hand rubbed his stomach. “Brody I need you to stop, because I don’t think…oh God…I don’t think I will be able to…please.” He released her and kissed up her neck to her mouth. He looked in her eyes, “You need to leave,” he laughed deeply through clenched teeth, “Before I tear the rest of your clothes off and take you in the shower.” “Sorry.” He kissed her again, “Don’t be, get out,” his laugh dark and jaw clenched. “Thank you, good night,” she said as he pulled his shirt off looking into her eyes intensely. He dropped his pants, and her eyes widened. Brody...commando, she thought and damn he was perfect. Wipe that stupid grin off your face Cheshire cat, Emma thought. “Emma, five, four, three, two…” he counted down pausing briefly between numbers as she tried to pull her eyes away from the most beautiful naked man she had ever laid eyes on. “Goodnight,” Emma said closing the door.
CHAPTER FIVE “Mom, let’s make breakfast,” Emma opened her eyes. “What time is it?” “Almost seven, I slept in,” London smiled. London turned on music and she and Emma danced around the kitchen to Kids Bop, Payphone was playing as they fried eggs and made toast. London was singing and when the chorus started. They both sang and danced. Here’s my silly smiling girl, Emma thought. Bieber’s Boyfriend played as London buttered her toast and Emma took her hands and twirled her. Next was Train’s Drive By, London knew it was one of Emma’s favorites, and they danced and sang loudly laughing. Brody walked up to London and twirled her as he sang. When the song ended London looked at him and curtsied. Brody bowed and kissed her hand. Emma was smiling as she plated the food. London changed the song to Just the Way You Are. Emma smiled. “Mommy,” London said, “You’re not singing it to me.” “I don’t do well in front of an audience,” Emma smiled. “But for you, London…” Emma started singing. Brody joined her and London laughed. “Mom,” London said looking at her when the song finished, “I love you.” “I love you more,” Emma said kissing her and twirling her around. Lila came into the kitchen, “Its Saturday and seven thirty in the morning.” “Good morning Lila,” London jumped down and hugged her. “I made you breakfast.” Lila smiled, “Well then seven thirty is perfect.” Brody cleaned his plate and thanked London, “I have a few things to do this morning. I’ll see you ladies later?” “Where are you going?” London asked. “London that’s none of our concern,” Emma said, scolding her softly. “It’s fine Emma, I have a doctor’s appointment,” Brody smiled and briefly glanced up at Emma and raised his brow. “On a Saturday, you must be sick,” London jumped up to feel his head, Brody laughed. “No, you’re not warm,” London giggled. “But my friends think you’re hot.” “London,” Emma gasped. “Emma – she’s fine, and apparently her friends have great taste,” he winked at London as he made his way to his room. “Mom, I’m going to shower,” London said when they finished dishes. “Okay,” Emma said and smiled remembering that just six months ago she insisted on bubble baths, and she had to help her wash her hair. London now only insisted on scrubbing her scalp three times a week. Brody walked out and smiled at Emma, “Good morning,” he kissed her. “Good morning,” Emma looking down trying not to look at him as she smiled. “You have a doctor appointment this morning?” He laughed, “Why do you sound shocked? You kind of insisted,” Brody smiled as he lifted her chin and kissed her again. “I’m pretty bossy, huh?” “You’re wonderful,” Brody kissed her again.
“Okay thank you,” she said, trying to will herself to move out of his arms. The shower turned off, and he slowly kissed her again and let go. “Emma, I’m leaving to go to England in three days.” Emma felt a lump in her throat and smiled, “To finish your album right?” “I would love for you to come Emma. I know you can’t, but I want you to know that I want you and your daughter to come.” “How long will you be gone?” “Three weeks and six days,” Brody answered softly. “Okay then,” Emma smiled. “Forged smile,” Brody stepped towards her to kiss her. “Mom!” London yelled. “Coming, good luck today.” *** Emma helped London get ready, they had decided to go shopping. To Emma’s delight London was on a mission to pick out a disguise for Brody to wear at the show that night. They went and got pedicures and ate lunch. London all but begged to ride the subway but Emma didn’t cave. They returned to Lila’s at three in the afternoon, three hours before the play. Brody and Lila were looking at something online. “Hello, are you excited about Wicked?” London skipped up to Lila and Brody. Brody smiled, “I need to talk to your Mom first okay? Emma, may I have a moment?” He said as he walked towards the bedroom. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, London is…” Emma started. Brody smiled, “Trust me,” he pulled her in to the room he was staying in, “sit please.” “Okay,” Emma blushed. He smiled and shook his head as he sat next to her and showed her a website with a picture of the four of them taking the carriage ride. Brody was sitting next to London, and both were beaming. “Well, you both look great,” Emma took a deep breath. “Does this upset you? Her privacy being violated — those scum taking pictures of her?” “I don’t like it, but I bet she will,” Emma smiled as she looked up at him. “What about your divorce Emma?” Brody looked apologetically at her. “I’m not worried, he kind of sealed his own fate with that one, I hope anyway. I don’t know, are you alright with it?” Emma looked confused. “I’m never alright with my privacy being invaded,” Brody scowled. “I’m not alright with hers or yours being invaded either.” “Okay, but really — what can we do about it?” “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go this evening, Emma.” “Oh,” she said shocked. “That upsets you?” Brody took her hand gently in his. “Well London kind of went crazy on a disguise today,” Emma laughed. “But she’ll understand I suppose.” He smiled and shook his head. “She did?” “Yes, it was actually kind of funny,” Emma smiled. “Do you want to discuss this with her or maybe I could tell her my doctor wants me to stay in for a few days?” “I don’t lie to her Brody. I answer her truthfully with age appropriate answers of course, hoping that will help her do the same in years to come.”
“Alright then,” Brody stood up. Emma smiled at him, “Can I kiss you? I mean…sorry that was stupid, this is obviously a poor idea, I mean quit while you’re ahead…” “Are you done Emma?” Brody scowled, and she shook her head yes, “Would you like to know what the doctor said?” “Sure, what did he say?” Emma’s face started to turn red. “All the test results came back, and I’m healthy. Blood work was rushed so I should know in a couple days,” Brody looked into her eyes and she knew he was trying to figure something out. “Oh, a couple days?” “Yes, why?” “Well I’ll be home, and you will be in England right?” “Oh, so we have to wait until everything comes back?” Brody asked confused. “Well, yes,” Emma smiled and looked away. “So no condoms?” “I’m allergic to latex,” Emma looked down. “Good to know.” “Are you monogamous? I mean…” Emma started and he interrupted. “Emma, do you want me to be?” Brody tried not to laugh. “No, I want you to have sex with lots of other people while you…you know what? This is irresponsible. Let’s just forget it,” Emma stood up. “Emma,” he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto him, “I haven’t had sex in months. I’m particularly choosey now, and I’m choosing you, I trust you.” “How do you trust me? How am I supposed to trust you?” Emma said standing back up. “Have I given you reason not to?” Brody asked seriously. “You didn’t tell me about your past,” Brody looked hurt at her response, “I’m sorry, but you should know the only person I did this with was Troy. I made him wait two years. I knew him pretty well. I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m just, not like that. I already feel like, I don’t know...a week is too soon.” He looked down and didn’t say anything. “Okay this is a bad idea, I’m sorry.” Emma stood up and walked out. She walked into the living room, “Hey London, we need to chat,” Emma said looking at her smiling. Brody walked out and looked at Lila, his eyes wide and confused. “Ok — some silly person took pictures last night, see right here?” Emma said showing her. “I’m sorry. Does it upset you?” “No, it’s kind of cool,” London smiled. “Ok, so it bothers me, and it bothers Brody that someone would invade your privacy. He isn’t going with us tonight,” Emma said. “But we got him all this stuff Mom, it was going to be fun,” London was upset. “Sorry London, maybe I could wear it?” Emma smiled and hugged her. “Does he know it’s not his fault Mom?” London whispered. “I don’t think so London, but we aren’t going to cause a scene, it’ll be fine,” Emma said and hugged her closer and closed her eyes. “I need to use the bathroom,” she whispered and stood up and walked away. *** “You alright, London?” Lila asked. “I’m fine,” London said and smiled just like her mom did when she was upset, and Brody noticed. “Sorry London,” Brody said. “It’s not your fault; it’s those people who took the pictures.”
“It’s not your fault. But why is my Mom upset?” “I don’t know.” “Are you sorry about that?” London looked at him raising her eyebrows. “Well if I upset her, I am truly sorry about that.” London smiled at him, “She’ll be fine, she always is.” London’s eyes looked into his for a while. He didn’t turn away and they both ended up smiling. “We should bake cookies,” Emma smiled at London as she grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen. Lila looked at Brody when they left the room, “What’s going on?” “She isn’t ready Lila, and I am.” “Emma will never think she’s ready. They’ve been separated for over a year. She hasn’t dated or hooked up or done anything that wasn’t well planned, perfectly and precisely,” Lila smiled. “I get that, she just wants to know things Lila, things that I’ve put behind me and I’m not ready to bring back. Is it not enough that I care for her? I went and got tested for diseases today Lila — what is that about?” Brody said shaking his head as Lila tried not to laugh. London skipped in the room, “Do you need anything at the store, Mom and I have to get a few things,” she said waving the list. “I need a lot of things at the store, how about we go together and let your mother start getting ready to bake?” Lila asked and walked in the kitchen and told Emma they would be right back. *** When they left, Brody walked into the kitchen and hugged Emma from behind. “Brody, please don’t,” Emma said softly and tried to turn around. “Please…just stay,” he held her firmly. “So my past is not something I enjoy talking about, at all. However, you are important to me so I will let you know a few things. My mother died when I was twelve. I was withdrawn; my father wasn’t home very much, if at all. My brother and sister moved out, and my father’s much younger girlfriend moved in. I left and lived with my Aunt and Uncle for a couple years and then started singing and partying and having lots of sex. I’m not proud of whom I was then or the amount of sexual partners I had. I hooked up with a seriously wild partner, and we partied hard. She died and I moved here,” Brody said, and she could hear him trying to breathe calmly. “I understand that sex is different for you than it has been for me: young, dumb, and reckless. All physical,” he said, and she heard the smile in his voice, “You see it as a sign of love or something special.” “We went from your life to sex awfully fast.” “Emma yesterday and last night, I thought that meant you wanted me as badly as I want you, and today you’re ready to walk. I’m confused.” “You’re going to England. I’m going to try to fix this mess that I’ve made of my life so that my daughter can have a good life,” Emma turned to him, “Brody — wanting you and doing the right thing…I don’t know, they don’t seem to fit.” “Maybe not when your head is spinning Emma, when your feet are planted solidly where they are meant to be: It will fit perfectly. It will feel as if they were supposed to be there forever. You may not want to hear this Emma, but I know I fit perfectly with you. It wasn’t planned, I didn’t search for this, I didn’t even know I wanted this or that I would ever immediately feel this with anyone. It just showed up and I literally ran into it, and I feel like I have been chasing you ever since. Emma I want more than one night, I want you to know that. I’m not going on a European sex campaign. I’m going to finish my album. After that, I’m going to take a break, a long break. When I return I would love to see where this leads. I know you’re used to making all the plans and decisions, but I also know you don’t like it. I want you now, and when I get back, and no one in between. I don’t need you to promise you’ll be here waiting when I
return, I know you would be. I do not need you to put it into words. It’s visible in your face, your kiss, the way you look at me. You feel the same way I do. If things weren’t messy would you have given us a chance? Emma turn the hurt off and feel it, feel what we’ve both been trying to avoid that seems to only grown deeper.” She stood on her toes and kissed him. He sat her on the counter and kissed her back, he pulled back and smiled. “What did that mean?” “I want you to dress up all stupid tonight and go with us,” Emma kissed him again. “I need to figure my life out, and I do believe you think you want this.” “I don’t think Emma, I know. Emma, what do you want?” “A happy life.” “Alright then, me too,” Brody kissed her gently. They heard the door open and London ran in with the chocolate chips and real butter. “Mom, you look happier. What did you do Brody?” London smirked. “Well London, I agreed to go tonight, for you,” Brody picked her up and spun her around. London smiled and let out a belly laugh that Emma hadn’t heard in months, one that she missed terribly. “What do you say; shall you let me see what magnificent outfit you have picked for me?” Brody laughed. *** London stood in the hallway waiting for Brody to come out of the bathroom. Brody walked out and smiled at her. He wore baggy army green pants and a light pink shirt and matching green blazer. “I kind of like this.” “How about the hat, wigs and glasses?” London grinned. “I thought I should save those for later,” he said. “Are the cookies done?” “Looking good Mr. Hines,” Emma laughed. “Put on the glasses.” He put them on and Emma smiled. He looks good in glasses, kind of like Clark Kent, Emma thought. *** He looked at her and wondered what she was thinking. “Thank you Emma,” he smiled. “Where are those cookies?” “Lose the glasses and I’ll give you some,” Emma said seriously and turned around. “I think Mom likes the nerd look,” London whispered, “Maybe you should leave them on, I mean if you want to?” “What do you think I should do London?” Brody whispered back. “Whatever you want to,” she said and belly laughed again. Emma turned and smiled, “What’s so funny?” She asked as she put cookies and milk in front of them. London looked at Brody and smiled; he raised his eyebrow and peered over the glasses at her. “Thank you for the cookies Emma,” he said seductively. She looked shocked and turned around, “You’re welcome. I’m going to get ready.” Brody and London laughed as she walked out the door. “You like my Mom don’t you?” London asked. “She is very likable,” Brody answered and took a bite of his cookie. “But you really like her right?” London asked with her eyes wide. “I really like this cookie,” he smiled giving her the same wide eyed look. London rolled her eyes and groaned. “Can you keep a secret?” Brody whispered.
“Yes,” London whispered back. “Yes, I do. But don’t tell her please.” “Brody, I think she knows,” London smiled. “Okay so what should I do?” “Well I’m only seven, so I’m not sure...but don’t treat her like my Dad did,” London whispered softly. “He was, well, is — not nice to her.” “He loves you though, the best he knows how, right?” Brody asked and put his arm around her. “I guess,” tears began to form in her eyes. “Mom doesn’t think I know but that night when you let them take your car to get me, he was doing drugs, and when we left the police were there, and well — I haven’t talked to him since.” Brody picked her up and hugged her, “London, I think you should tell your mother these kinds of things. She loves you and only wants what is best for you.” “I can’t,” London hugged him back, “It’ll hurt her.” “Well, it hurts you not to talk about it right?” “I guess,” London sat up and wiped her face. “If you tell her you love her I’ll tell her about that, I go first. That way she gets bad news then happy news, is it a deal?” “Oh I don’t know,” Brody said nervously. “Don’t you think I should tell her I want to be more than friends before I lay that on her?” “Maybe,” London laughed and hugged him, “I wouldn’t want her to faint.” They were laughing and hugging when Emma walked out in the kitchen. “What’s going on here?” Emma asked and saw London’s red eyes. “London needs to tell you something,” Brody smiled gently at her. “Go on.” London told her everything she had told Brody, and more. London had tried to go back into her room to grab her favorite stuffed animal, the one she had that smelled like her mom, and there were several people occupying her room. London cried and so did Emma. Brody hugged them both and tried to control the emotions he was feeling. After a while London looked up at Brody, “A deal is a deal, now it’s your turn.” Brody smiled and shook his head, “Hey Emma, I like you a lot.” He smiled. London scowled at him and he took a deep breath, “I want to be more than just Lila’s friend,” London laughed, and he looked at her. “I want to be more than just your friend, too.” “Brody, I don’t think now is a good time to discuss this,” Emma said nervously. “Mom seriously? You like him too!” London laughed. “You two should grow up,” she jumped down and laughed, “I’m going to get ready, deal with this like adults please.” Brody smiled softly at Emma, “Are you alright?” “No, what am I going to do for her?” Emma said and started crying. “She’s incredibly smart and has you Emma. Do what’s best for her,” Brody hugged her. “Thank you,” Emma pulled away. “Don’t think Emma, tonight we’re going to a show. We’re going to have fun. Tomorrow I would like to help you figure this out. And you’re going to let me,” Brody kissed her, “No arguments.”
CHAPTER SIX On the ride to the show, Emma tried not to think about how much pain Troy had caused London. She looked at Brody in that goofy wig, suit and glasses and listened to him talk to London who obviously adored him. Emma felt very comfortable and at ease with him. She still didn’t like that there was such a big age difference, especially since she was the older one. But he actually seemed more mature in different ways than she was. Brody was decisive and didn’t seem to go back and forth or be led by feelings, except for anger when it came to Emma, which was a quality she loved about her own father. He even did something he loved. Not because of fame but because it was what he was passionate about. He was soft and caring, but took control when he felt he needed to. Emma smiled as she looked at him. London nudged him, and they glanced at Emma. He smiled at London as he pulled her attention away from Emma’s now red face, to the different landmarks they passed. He looked over at Emma who was still looking at him. She raised her eyebrow and smiled shaking her head when she was able to look away. After the show, Brody carried London to bed, and Emma tucked her in. Lila had already gone to bed when they walked out of the bedroom. “Did you have fun Emma?” “I did, it was a great show. Did you?” Emma tore her eyes away from him as he took off the hat and wig. “I did. Emma, are you allergic to lambskin?” Brody asked matter of factly as he walked towards her. “No, I don’t think so,” Emma said confused. “Are you allergic to anything?” “Cats, they are hideous creatures. Okay so I’m not actually allergic I just don’t like them, and it’s easier to say I am…” Brody was in midsentence when she kissed him. “Emma,” he pulled gently away. “If that continues, I may turn a color that matches my eyes.” “I’m sorry,” Emma turned away. He took her hand and led her to the room he was occupying. “Lay down, I want to tell you a story.” Brody laid next to her, “Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess, who had a beautiful daughter…who just happened to be named after a beautiful city,” he began and she giggled. “Well that beautiful princess had been locked up in a tower by a dreadful ogre whom we shall call...hmm Roy,” he kissed the back of her head. “He didn’t know what he had, and he lost sight of what was perfect and precious right before him. The princess finally escaped his evil clutches and vowed to keep the little princess safe. She suited up, full armor and carried with her a sword. She fought the Ogre and won, but she couldn’t believe it so after she had fought off the Ogre...Roy, she fought off her feelings for any other that came to her. One day a tall, handsome, Prince came to her, wanting badly to be part of her life. Did I mention he was handsome?” Brody said with a smile in his voice, “Oh and smart, the Prince was handsome, and smart, extremely smart.” “Hot,” Emma giggled. “Well if you say so, but this is my story Princess, I mean Emma, so please quiet down,” Emma laughed, and Brody cleared his throat. “Where was I?” “The Prince was hot,” she said grinning. “Thank you, now do be quiet. Okay so this Princess — she let no one in. She fiercely protected what she loved. With every day that passed, the armor she wore became heavier and began to rust. After many months it began to weigh her down to the point that she didn’t realize she was breaking underneath it,” there was sadness in his voice. “Well the Prince desperately wanted to save her. He vowed that regardless of how much time, and how blue he may turn,” Brody smiled, “he would strip her of that armor
so that she could shine, so her radiant light could help those she loved shine even brighter in her glow. The end.” Brody said and kissed her head. “That was a remarkably nice story,” Emma yawned. Brody laughed. “Sorry,” Emma laughed. “What time…” Emma began to say. “It’s almost midnight, I think I may start telling you a story about a white rabbit with a giant pocket watch,” he laughed and rubbed her back. Emma rolled to her side and smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. “You’re truly sweet you know?” She smiled and sat up, “I’m going to bed,” Emma smiled and kissed him. “You’re in bed, stay for a bit. Please?” “I can’t, allergies,” Emma smiled. “I asked you to lay down for a while Emma, not if I could have sex with you until the sun peaked over the horizon. Making you scream my name as you had orgasm after orgasm and finally caved and begged me to never leave your side,” Brody smiled seductively at her. “Oh, and you aren’t allergic to lambskin, so allergies are not going to work,” he grabbed a condom out of his pocket and handed it to her. Emma blushed and looked down at the floor with her eyes wide. She took a deep breath. “Oh,” was all she could manage to say. Brody laughed, “Still not going to happen is it?” “I want to — I truly do, just not while my daughter’s in the next room,” Emma said quietly. Brody smiled at her. “I’m leaving in the morning, and I don’t know when I’ll see you again, and I don’t know…” “When do you want to see me again?” Brody propped himself up on his elbow. Every morning, every day, she thought, and it hurts. Emma smiled, “When will you be back? When are you leaving?” “Well, I was going to leave on Wednesday and be gone for a month,” Brody said watching her. “That’s a long time,” Emma said looking sadly. He smiled at her, “Why does that amuse you?” “I’m not amused Emma, I’m glad you think that’s a long time, I do as well. You can come with me,” Brody said wishfully thinking, “So can London.” “Well London’s in school, and I have court next week and we’ve known each other a week,” Emma said quietly. “A week and three days,” Brody smiled as he looked at Emma and gently kissed her nose, “I’ll just keep chiseling away at that armor,” Brody smiled and sat up, “One day at a time,” he kissed her and pulled away from her lips. Emma grabbed his face and kissed him again and moved so that she was sitting astride him, “I’m scared, and I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream. You can’t be real Brody, this is too much,” Emma kissed him harder. “Emma, I think you’re awake, I know I am,” she pulled his shirt over his head and kissed his neck; he moaned and sat back pulling her with him. Emma sat up and pulled her shirt off, and he watched as she un- hooked her bra. “Emma you are so beautiful.” “Please don’t talk right now,” Emma kissed his chest and stomach. She moved lower and unbuttoned him. “Emma,” he moaned as he took her breast in his hand and tugged lightly at her nipple. “I don’t know how this works, you're going to have to do it,” she said breathlessly handing him the silver foil package. “Are you sure?” he sat up opening the package as she pulled his pants down. She swallowed hard and nodding her head yes. Brody flipped Emma on her back and kissed her neck and continued up to her lips. He moved back down to her breast and she whimpered. His hand pushed her
cotton pajama pants down, and then moved between her legs. He looked up at her and watched as her back arched in response to his touch. He lightly kissed down her stomach and moved to her thighs. Oh wow, she thought as he skillfully kissed and licked and sucked between her legs. He eased his finger into her, and her body moved towards his touch. She tried to stay still but she couldn’t. She pulled his hair and finally breathed out; she felt her toes curl and quickly started closing her legs. He reached his long sculpted arm up and caressed her breasts again, but his grasp was much firmer now, feeling her body start to release months of frustration. Brody was well aware of what was happening and continued as her body tensed. “Brody, please,” she whimpered as she tried to close her knees. He looked up at her and his eyes were full of desire as he continued. “Brody I already…” “And you will again. You taste delightful Emma, I want more of you,” his voice as deep as his lust filled eyes watched her as he slid a second finger into her, his thumb circled and pressed on her sweet spot. She felt her body pulse. How’s this happening? She thought, it never had before. He kissed up her belly and tugged at her nipple with his teeth as he aligned himself with her. She grabbed him and held him tightly. He continued to move slowly into her. “Emma,” he whispered into her ear as he tugged at it with his teeth and gently pushed into her further. “You are so tight, we’ll take this slow — so hot and wet,” he moaned as he eased into her slowly and gently. He watched her face and saw her tense up. He sat up on his knees and pulled her legs over his strong thighs. He held himself with one hand as he slowly fed his large thick penis into her as he watched. His other hand continued to stimulate her, rubbing his fingers gently across her still pulsing sex. His jaws clenched as he watched and he licked his lips. “Emma, you’re beautiful,” he whispered pushing himself into her. “Brody,” she moaned as her body pressed into him, “Please.” Brody pulled her hips to him. “Almost, FUCK...Emma.” Emma couldn’t take it she wanted all of him. Her body was pulsing and throbbing with desire. She sat up on him and winced feeling so full she wanted to scream, she bit down on his shoulder, and he pushed harder into her. He kissed her cheek and made his way slowly, down her neck. Brody looked at her, his eyes full of heat and her face flush. He moved faster and harder until he felt her quake. He continued as he watched her face relax. He thrust into her as his mouth opened and he growled out her name with his release. Emma closed her eyes, and the only thing she could think was the end. “Emma, are you alright?” Brody asked as he lay next to her. She nodded her head yes, and he pulled her head to his chest. “The sun has yet to peak over the horizon,” he said with a smile in his voice. Emma smiled, “What…” she began. “Two in the morning,” Brody smiled as he rubbed her back and kissed her head. “Not going to let me have you again?” Emma laughed softly as she fell asleep. Brody held her as she slept. He let her sleep for an hour before he began kissing her neck, “Brody,” she smiled. “Its three thirty, and I’ll just need you to lay still for thirty minutes or so,” Brody said as he rolled her to her back. He winked and crawled under the covers. She melted within minutes. He came up and reached for his pants and grabbed a condom, “You alright?” “Uh huh,” Emma said trying to catch her breath. “Good,” Brody lifted her up, so she straddled him and thrust deeply into her, she bit down hard on his shoulder. He flinched. “Sorry,” Emma breathed out and pushed him back and moved up and down him slowly, watching his
eyes roll back slightly. She closed her eyes and moved faster as he watched her. He grabbed her hips and guided her, her face flushed and he laid her back and moved swiftly. Emma pulled back to stop. “Emma, don’t pull away,” Brody demanded in a husky voice. “I’m going to scream or bite you,” Emma whimpered. He kissed her and grabbed the pillow, “I think if you bite me I may scream, use this,” he smiled as he lay her down and continued slowly moving. “This okay?” “Perfect,” she gasped as he continued his slow powerful thrusts into her. “You’re perfect,” Brody moaned as moved faster and harder. Emma dug into his muscular ass and felt her toes curl as she arched her back, Brody smiled seductively and handed her the pillow. He knew she was ready, and he hastened his powerful thrusts until she yelled his name into the pillow, feeling his release moments later. “I don’t want you to leave, Emma,” he said breathlessly as he held her tightly against his naked sweaty body. “I kind of have to, London will be up soon,” Emma sluggishly sat up still trying to catch her breath. “That’s not what I mean Emma,” Brody reached over and gently rubbed her back. Emma turned and looked at him as she pulled her bottoms on. “I leave today,” she thought out loud. Brody grabbed her hips pulling her against him, and at that moment she felt like she was supposed to be there and it scared her. “Brody I’m...” “So am I,” he said rubbing her back. “I need you to know how I feel Emma,” Brody started. “Please not yet, please,” she begged softly. “Alright, I don’t think I have to even say the words Emma, you already know. And you feel the same, I know you do. Your body knows too, Emma,” Brody said and kissed her head. “I can’t,” Emma said and pulled away and stood up composing herself. “Thank you Brody, your amazing,” she said as she walked out the door. *** Brody felt frozen. He sat there for a long time trying to figure out what that meant. Well that was a first, he thought to himself. Brody wasn’t used to women leaving him, especially not after sex, he was the one who left. Chip that Armor away, he thought as he threw himself back on the bed and groaned in frustration. He set his alarm and finally fell asleep trying to think of what he could do to help him keep her.
CHAPTER SEVEN Emma woke, saw the sun and stretched as she sat up alone. She heard music when she opened the door and walked down the hall. She turned the corner, and London and Brody were laughing as they made breakfast. “Good morning,” Emma said as she walked in. “Almost afternoon Mom,” London laughed and hugged her. “What…” Emma started. “Its nine thirty Emma, good morning,” Brody said and turned around and flashed a smile. “Sit, London has taught me how to make breakfast,” he brought her a plate, “London — be a dear and grab the juice?” He kissed Emma’s head when London’s back was turned, “Sex hair,” he whispered, “I like it, especially knowing I put it there,” he winked at her as Emma blushed and looked down. *** Emma was almost finished packing and London looked at her, “If I take a shower now, can I skip it when we get home?” “That’s a fabulous idea, then we can get in our PJ’s and snuggle and watch a movie,” Emma said and answered her phone. “This is Emma,” she said and smiled as she watched London walk out the door. “Yes I would love to, see you at 7:30,” she hung up, “Hey London guess who’s going to be your art teacher tomorrow?” “Cool,” London smiled knowing it would be her mother as she shut the bathroom door. Emma brought the suit cases to the foyer, she heard Brody on the phone. “No, just change the flight for Thursday please...No I’ll wait to make that change…open ended.” Brody said, grabbing Emma’s hand as she walked by stopping her. “Yes thank you,” he said ending his call. “I’m not leaving until Thursday, after I know how court went,” Emma started to interrupt and he put his finger over her lips, “Stop, please, and I’ll be staying in a hotel half an hour from your town in case you need me. I have a meeting tomorrow and should arrive Tuesday morning, if you want to see me – I’ll be there.” Emma looked at him and deep down she fought the desire to smile. Taking a deep breath she said “Okay.” “I’m fighting the need to ask you if that makes you happy or upset. I don’t want you to feel like you need to plan or over think it, but what you want is important to me. You want a happy life, that’s what you told me. I’m going to do my best to make sure that’s what you get, Emma I…” he started, and she knew what was coming, so she kissed him sucking his lower lips so that his mouth opened and he held her tightly as their tongues danced. He pulled away and smiled at her, “You’re impossible.” “We have to leave soon, I’m working Monday. London has dance from four until six. You should stay here, you have a lot going on,” Emma said knowing it was the right thing but desperately wanting what he had proposed. “Plans are already in place,” he winked and kissed her head and walked away. “Good morning Lila.” “Good morning,” Lila said giggling as she looked at Emma’s red face. “Brody you’re scheduled for The Today Show tomorrow before you meet with your record label.” “Why?” Brody bruited. “You have a number one song, you’re going to sing in the Plaza before you run away from your
adoring fans,” Lila said insistently, “We’ll tell them the carriage ride was a friend if asked, is that alright?” “No, London doesn’t need to be discussed on national television,” Brody said protectively. “I could always skip school and go with you,” London laughed as she ran out and stood next to him. Brody flashed a smile, “And what would we tell them?” “The truth, you love my Mom, and I don’t know, maybe someday you’ll be my,” she paused and looked at Emma whose jaw dropped, “Piano teacher.” Brody laughed, “Your mother may have a heart attack if I ever dare say something like that.” “London, please say your goodbyes,” Emma said firmly as her neck started to heat up. London hugged and thanked Lila and walked over to Brody and threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek, “I like you Brody Hines.” “I adore you London Fields, and I will miss you very much,” Brody whispered and hugged her tightly closing his eyes. “Lila thanks so much,” Emma hugged her. She looked at Brody and smiled, “Nice to see you again.” “London come here and help me get an elevator,” Lila said rolling her eyes at Emma. “I’ll see you soon, Emma,” Brody hugged her and kissed her lightly on the lips. Emma smiled, and her eyes felt heated, he noticed immediately how she was feeling exactly the same as he was, “I will see you Tuesday night.” “You don’t have to, Brody. This is stupid,” she said widening her eyes and blinking as if hoping to stop the impending tears. He smiled and hugged and kissed her again, “Poor timing, but not stupid. I’ll be figuring things out on my end. Oh and I’m falling in love with you. There I said it and you couldn’t stop me,” he gazed at her with a sexy half smile. “Brody, my feelings are no different. I just don’t know how to trust, or believe, in all that will matter after a few years. London’s waiting,” Emma reached up and softly stroked his soft stubble and kissed him. “Well, sometimes you just have to have faith,” Brody took her hand and kissed it as he led her to the door. *** Emma and London walked into their home, and both looked at each other and smiled. “Mom is it weird that I miss the city?” “You miss the city London?” “Yeah, and I miss Brody, he was fun. Do you?” “I missed our couch, let’s watch a movie, pick one out, I’ll make popcorn,” Emma smiled back. Emma’s phone chimed. - I miss you Em…Yours, MM - Who is this? ...Em - Music Man…I miss you. - We just got home, feelings mutual…Em - See you Tuesday…MM - We shall see, sweet dreams…Em ***
Emma woke and was excited for her first day subbing. She missed Brody, especially after the highly erotic dream she had just woke up from. She grabbed her phone, - Good Luck today Music Man…Em - Good morning. I’m extremely glad you are thinking about me. I miss you Em. Have fun at school today, I never understood the desire to teach, wasn’t thirteen years enough?... MM - I did seventeen years. Do great MM, BTW, me 2…Em - Hmm…MM Emma hit the DVR to record the Today show. She smiled and shook her head. *** Brody was on stage with his band, and they played Blue Love. The host, Matt came on stage as the crowd of women screamed and cheered. “That’s a great song, where did the inspiration come from?” Matt asked. “Well, you know…” he said laughing nervously. “Alright Brody, I get it. So how have you been since the divorce?” Matt asked. “I’ve been fine, life goes on,” Brody gave a dazzling smile. “Any truth behind the rumors?” Matt asked. “Probably not, there usually isn’t.” “So you’re going home to finish your album?” Matt asked. “I am,” Brody replied, “I only have a couple left to record and one that I just started working on about my favorite city in England,” Brody beamed. “One more song?” Matt asked. “Absolutely,” Brody smiled and winked at the camera. They sang Over It which was a new song released that day. Matt walked back on stage, “We have to ask Brody,” Matt said, Brody raised his eyebrow. “Who was the little girl in the carriage?” Brody took a deep breath and looked towards Lila. “She’s a friend of my publicist,” he countered in a guarded tone. “Does she have a name?” Matt asked. “She is a minor, someone’s child. Let me ask you something Matt, you have kids right? What are their names and would you want them on national TV or magazine’s or online without your consent?” Brody stated rather than asked. “Actually, I wouldn’t,” Matt laughed, “I need something for the fans Brody, something personal from someone they admire,” Matt looked at Brody and Brody shook his head and looked down. “Alright how about something like, what is your favorite candy?” “M&M’s,” Brody grinned and raised his eyebrow. “Really?” Matt responded with laughter. “Absolutely,” Brody smirked, “melts in your mouth.” “Well everyone— we got something out of Brody Hines, thanks for stopping by,” Matt shook his hand. “Thanks so much everyone!” Brody yelled to his fans and flashed his stunning smile. Brody got in the car, and Lila smiled at him, “M&M’s Brody?” “Yes, they’re insanely addictive and delicious,” Brody smiled sheepishly. ***
Emma and London went for a walk after school, when they came home Emma made dinner while London did her homework. She looked at her phone willing it to ring but it didn’t. No call, no text, nothing. London showered and read Emma a story about a Princess, and Emma couldn’t help but think of him. He was in her head, and nothing seemed to be able to get him out. Emma went downstairs and grabbed the remote and skipped through The Today Show until she saw him. He looked amazing; she laughed when she noticed the pants and wondered how he could have thrown together something that made them look good and laughed to herself when she realized nothing he wore could look bad, he even looked hot in those glasses. When the song finished she saw Matt walk on stage, and she worried he would be shy like he was onstage the night she and Lila went to see him sing. He was smiling and happy, and she snickered when he talked about his favorite city in England and was almost certain he was talking about London. She watched cautiously when he was asked about the carriage ride. He did extremely well — she could tell he was angry but pulled it off well. She couldn’t believe the M&M comment. She wasn’t sure if she was assuming correctly. She rewound and played it over and over, like she did her favorite songs when she was younger. Her phone rang, and she smiled. “Hello. This is Emma.” “Hello Emma, this is Brody,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Oh I wasn’t sure which man with a British accent would be calling at this hour,” she joked. “I’m sorry Emma. Am I calling too late?” “I was joking,” Emma said trying not to act overly excited that he had called. “Did you catch The Today Show?” Brody smiled. “I recorded it, does that sound bad? Like creep you out?” Emma asked softly. “No, are you busy? Can you watch it now while I’m on the line with you?” Brody asked. “Why?” Emma spoke as she covered her eyes, good lord he can’t even see me, she thought. “Just want to see what you think,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Ok,” she laughed and paused for a minute. “I’ve already watched it,” she laughed, “Three times.” “Okay Emma that makes you sound a little creepy,” Brody laughed. “I just had to make sure you did well, you know...in case you needed feedback,” Emma said trying to defend herself. “I love that you watched it Emma, now tell me what stuck out the most to you,” he asked in amusement. “Really?” Emma asked embarrassed. “Yes really,” Brody said in a particularly self- assured voice. “The pants were nice,” Emma chuckled. “You made them look good.” “Did I?” Brody said laughing, “Emma, is that all?” “Did you hear him ask me about my favorite candy?” Brody asked trying to sound serious. “Yep.” “Did you know that I liked M&M’s?” “No,” Emma said smiling to herself. “Can I tell you a secret? Neither did I.” Brody laughed, “But now it’s my favorite candy.” “Well I’ll have to remember that,” Emma said trying not to giggle like a teenage girl. “Do I need to spell it out for you Em?” “Well I guess not.” “So you know I was talking about you?” “I do now,” she smiled. “Good, did London see it?” “No!”
Brody laughed, “I’m sure she wouldn’t get it.” “Well I certainly hope not,” she said and laughed, so hard tears were falling. Brody laughed, “I miss you.” “I miss you, Brody,” Emma said still laughing. “I love you Em,” Brody said smiling. “Oh I love you Bro...” “Emma did you just call me Bro?” he snickered. She sat with her hand over her mouth, “Emma?” She cleared her throat, “I’m here, sorry.” “Hmm, Can I see you tomorrow? I want to come see you after court. I also want you to know that my lawyer is going to meet yours tomorrow and be at court with you,” He began without missing a beat, “Have you decided on which offer you will be accepting?” “Brody, can we please talk about something else?” “Sure, M&M’s?” “Or how about that you are leaving in a few days for a month,” she said in a remarkably dry tone. “Do you have a problem with my lawyer meeting yours?” Brody asked. “I don’t know why that’s necessary,” Emma answered. “He’s the best, you and London deserve that, I don’t want to argue with you,” he said in an authoritative tone. She said nothing and he took a deep breath and said sweetly, “Emma I’m in love with you, and I want you and your daughter to be happy. Can you please accept that?” “Ok,” she whispered. She had tears building, and her voice cracked. “Brody I can’t be your project, I can’t feel like all of these feelings you’re expressing are because you feel sorry for me or my situation because I’ll be okay. You don’t have to do this. And you have to promise me,” she said finally stopping to take a breath, “that when you realize this is just because you and I have both been through hell lately, you’ll just tell me and not string me along. I can’t do that. So please…promise me.” “Are you done Em?” Brody asked in a clipped tone. “I guess…” “Chipping away,” he whispered as he leaned back breathing deeply. “Good, so have you looked over your offers?” “No,” she pouted. “So what are you waiting for?” “Tomorrow Brody, to see what I’m allowed to plan, to know that I can breathe again, to know my daughter is going to be safe,” she said, and the dam finally broke, “is that what you wanted to know Brody?” Emma said harshly. “I lived many years with someone who enjoyed lording over me and making me feel like nothing, someone who loved me broken, so he felt better about himself.” “Emma I’m sorry, I am so sorry.” Brody sounding devastated. “Can I talk to you tomorrow?” “Sure. Goodnight Brody,” she hung up feeling awful about snapping at him. *** The next morning Emma dropped London off at school and went home to get ready, she hadn’t told her that they had court today. She didn’t want it to affect her. Emma walked into court and saw her lawyer talking to an extremely sharply dressed man. Emma’s lawyer, Joan, waved her over. “Emma this is Eli, he’s your friend’s lawyer. Is it alright that he discuss this with us?” “Sure,” Emma felt insecure. They sat in a conference room, and Joan started the conversation. “Emma and I have discussed what she would like to happen today. She’ll be going for sole physical custody, supervised visits and the divorce to be finalized. We’re pushing for Mr. Fields to agree to rehab. Emma’s not asking for alimony
and would prefer that child support be suspended while he’s in rehab if he’s not going to be paid from his employer. The other thing is, Emma’s considering moving back to her hometown in order to pursue a career that will enable her to provide for her child. We’ll wait until we get a feel of how this is going before we spring that on them. Do you have anything to offer Emma?” Emma shook her head no, “Eli?” “I’m just here to offer advice if things start turning in a direction undesirable by your client,” Eli looked at Emma, “Not to change your mind about anything.” “Thank you,” Emma said softly. *** Emma walked down the courthouse stairs and past her car. She walked until she reached the park next to the lake. She walked to the end of the dock and hugged herself and crouched down and closed her eyes hugging her knees. She cried quietly until she couldn’t cry anymore. “Em,” she heard softly behind her, and she stood up and turned around. She wiped her eyes and smiled softly. “Hi.” Brody walked slowly up to her and gently wiped her face and smiled. She closed her eyes and whispered, “I’m so sorry.” Emma wrapped her arms around him, and he wrapped his around her, holding her tightly against him kissing her gently on the head while he gently swayed back and forth soothing her. “You need a few more moments or are you ready to get out of here?” Brody asked taking her hands. “I don’t know,” Emma smiled and shook her head. “Well my little white rabbit, I don’t know what time London gets out of school, but it’s one thirty,” he smiled. “Oh,” she said shocked. “Oh wow, I need to go.” Emma said and looked at him. “Can I go with you?” Emma looked at him confused, “Do you want to?” “Yes, or I wouldn’t have asked. What’s with you?” He laughed and she scowled. “Emma men aren’t that complicated, we don’t ask if we don’t want. I want to take two beautiful ladies to dinner.” “What if people see you Brody?” “You're divorced Emma, so am I,” Brody smiled. “I am divorced,” Emma smiled, “I have sole custody of my most precious gift, and the man I thought I loved for fifteen years is going to rehab,” Emma started crying again, and Brody looked at her with deep concern, “These tears are not because I’m sad, it’s a release,” Emma said and smiled. “I want to scream!” “Then do it!” Brody laughed. And she raised her hands in the air and screamed. Brody picked her up and spun her around and kissed her. “I love you, Princess.” Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, “You too, Brody.”
CHAPTER EIGHT Brody pulled on a hat and sunglasses as he pulled the pickup into the driveway at London’s school. “Right here?” he asked. Emma shook her head yes. “How’s she supposed to know where to meet you? There are a lot of little people running around out here. Don’t they have a system?” Emma laughed, “She knows our car. You’re truly paranoid.” “Oh yeah?” he laughed. “I’m going to get out and wait for her, how do you feel about that Emma?” “You wouldn’t dare,” Emma laughed. Brody opened the door, and Emma laughed. He looked at her as if to say I’m going to do it, and she laughed, “Chicken.” “Wrong thing to say Em,” he laughed and took his hat off and stood outside the door and leaned against the car with his arms crossed in front of him. Emma watched for the aide to walked London’s class out to the pickup lane. She saw London and her whole body seemed to smile. She started towards the car, and the aide made her wait. Brody bent down and looked in the window, “Is that normal, Em?” “Yes, they don’t know you’re here to pick her up, you don’t have permission,” Emma said opening the door and walking around the car and waved. The aide walked over with London, “Sorry I didn’t see you, wow,” she said as she looked at Brody, “You’re,” she stopped and couldn’t finish her sentence. “I’m London’s ride today,” he smiled at London. London ran up and jumped into his arms and hugged him. He opened the door for London, “Off you go, buckle up. Thank you for seeing to it that she’s safe. Ready, Em?” They sat and waited in line to pull out, and everyone was looking at them. “London, I would like to take you to dinner, where would you like to go?” Brody asked. “The cafeteria, so they can all see that I didn’t Photoshop that picture online.” London said annoyed. “Is there a bathroom in the school that I could use?” Brody said in the same irritated tone London used. “Yes,” London smiled. “Could you show me where it is?” Brody asked, “Em could you park across the street and we’ll meet you there?” “Do you think that’s a good idea Brody?” Emma asked cautioning him. “If London does. Do you London?” Brody glanced in the mirror. “Yep,” she opened the door, he got out and followed. “Hop on my back London,” Brody said bending down, “Tell me where to go.” “Okay, left. Hey could you lose the shades?” London pulled them off him and putting them on herself, “I look way cooler in them.” Fifteen minutes later London and Brody walked across the road towards Emma smiling. This is not good, she adores him, when it ends it’s going to break her again, Emma thought. “Did you find the bathroom?” She smiled and Brody looked at her with concern. “We sure did,” London smiled. “Everything alright, Em?” Brody whispered when he got in the car. Emma smiled, “Sure. Hey London, you have dance in an hour, so we need to eat fast, where to?” “Let’s go home; I need to get my stuff. Then maybe we can go out,” London said smiling.
“Alright,” Emma said and pulled out. “Please excuse any mess Brody, we haven’t been home a lot.” He is going to hate it, Emma thought. It’s nothing like what he must be used to. Nothing like Lila’s place. They walked past the landscaped yard into the back screened in porch, it was small but charming. London and Emma took off their shoes, and Brody followed suit. They walked into the kitchen, and he looked around and smiled. “This is enchanting Em,” Brody said. “It’s quaint,” Emma agreed. Emma opened the fridge and grabbed some fruit and cut it up as London ran into the other room, you could hear her little feet pitter pattering up the stairs. “Are you hungry?” Emma asked. Brody smiled when he noticed the bag of M&M’s sitting on the counter, Emma looked in the direction he was smiling at and blushed. “Your face is red,” Brody hugged her from behind and placed a hand low on her stomach. “I wonder why,” she said softly. “Well actually I’m ravenous,” Brody whispered and grabbed a strawberry. “What can I do to help?” Emma smiled, “Nothing, not right here or right now anyway,” and shook her head as she pulled away and looked up at him. London came out, and Emma put a small plate of strawberries and kiwi in front of her and London grabbed her book bag and took out her homework folder. “Do you have a lot of homework?” “Just spelling and a book to read you,” London said. “Okay,” She said and grabbed a brush and brushed her hair as London wrote her spelling words and Emma pulled her hair into a tight bun forgetting for a brief moment that they weren’t alone. “So this is our life, a little different from yours huh?” “It’s wonderful,” he smiled. “I forgot I have a roast in, so is it alright if we eat dinner here after dance?” Emma asked to hope they would agree. She didn’t feel like going out after the day she had. “Sure,” London said. “Is that okay with you Brody?” “Sounds great.” “Alright then — time for us to get going,” Emma said filling up London’s water bottle. “Grab your bag.” Brody sat in the car while Emma walked London in. He smiled when he saw her come back out. “So...what shall we do for two hours? What do you normally do?” He grabbed her hand. “Well, I read, or walk, or get groceries. I think that would be a bad idea with you,” she smiled. “Alright then, we have two hours. Do you have any books?” Brody said laughing. “No, I forgot them,” Emma smirked. “Well I think I may have a couple, I believe they’re in my hotel room that just happens to be about two miles back, shall we go get them Emma?” Brody asked looking serious. “Brody do you truly have books in your room?” Emma whispered breathlessly. He smiled, “Well depends, I do have a book reading app on my iPad,” he whispered back. “Oh,” Emma took a deep breath. He took her hand and kissed it. “Em, I understand if you don’t want to be alone in a room with me.” “You do?” Emma asked. “No,” he laughed. “Ok, you drive,” Emma said and got out.
They walked into his room, and Emma was more nervous now than she was the first night she had spent with him. “Em are you alright?” “No,” she said and her eyes widened. “Well come sit,” Brody said as he patted the seat next to him. Emma sat next to him wringing her hands, and he smiled. “Alright, let’s see what we can do to relax you.” He pulled her into him and she trembled. He kissed her cheek, “Been a rough day huh?” Emma nodded her head yes and felt her face flush. He wrapped his long arms around her and held her. She finally started to relax, and she let out a deep breath. Emma’s phone rang, and she jumped up and grabbed it out of her bag. “Hello,” Emma said. “Emma, we need to talk about what happened today,” Troy said. “Okay Troy what is it?” Emma said as Brody rubbed her back. “I want to see London.” “Well I think we kind of talked about that at court.” “Yes we discussed supervised visits, I also agreed to give you custody thinking you might do the right thing, by the way how is Lila’s friend?” Troy said, “He picked my daughter up at school today?” “We picked her up, I was there,” Emma said defending herself. “So you’re not fucking him Emma?” Troy asked. “Troy, you called asking about London. Please don’t do this,” Emma asked kindly. “Are you fucking him?” Troy demanded. “At this moment no, I’m not fucking him,” Emma snapped. “And what about London, you said no one meets her until, holy shit! Emma, are you going to marry him?” “Wow Troy, no. I just got divorced...no plans on doing that again anytime soon. Listen, when you want to talk about our daughter — call me,” Emma said and hung up. Her phone rang immediately. “Yes Troy?” Emma asked. “I want to see her before I go to rehab, I’m going Saturday. I want a day — possibly a night. We can get adjoining rooms at a hotel, I’ll pay for it. This weekend Emma,” he paused, “Good, I didn’t hear a no, I will text you the details, goodbye,” Troy said and hung up. Emma turned and looked at Brody, “What just happened?” “I think you just agreed to spend an evening at a hotel with your ex,” Brody said calmly. “No, Brody it wasn’t like that,” Emma hugged him. He smiled, “So if I act pissed off you hug me?” She grabbed his face and looked at him like she was mad and then closed her eyes and took a deep breath and leaned her forehead into his chest. “Em, I was joking. I think you should call your lawyer and get her advice,” Brody said. “Just a suggestion, but please.” She looked up at him and smiled, if this is nothing more than a distraction I will take it right now. Emma kissed Brody and turned and sat on his lap. She kissed his neck and pulled his shirt over his head. “You sure about this?” Brody whispered. “Yes,” Emma said lifting her arms as he pulled her shirt over her head. He kissed down her neck. She stood taking off her skirt. “Emma get over here.” *** Emma and Brody picked up London, and they dropped Brody off. Emma had asked that she have a
couple hours to talk with London alone about everything that went on today. It was a rough night; although London was well prepared for the divorce, it still upset her. She was more upset about the fact that Troy was demanding time when he hadn’t even called her since the night that everything happened at the beach house. She wanted to see him before he went to rehab, but not overnight, unless she was allowed to stay in the same room as Emma. Emma also talked to her parents and they had all agreed it would be good for them to come up and stay with London during the visit and Emma would stay the night with the adjoining door shut and locked. Emma had never been afraid of him, but lately she had no idea who the man she had been with for fifteen years, was. When London went to school Emma decided to surprise Brody and drove to the hotel and knocked on the door, he smiled when he opened the door, and she jumped in his arms. “Good morning,” Brody said squeezing her ass. “Good morning. Is it alright that I’m here?” Emma asked nervously. “Of course! How did things go last night?” Brody inquired as he gently kissed her and she slid down his body as he ushered her into the suite. “All right, what did you do?” Emma asked putting her bag down and looked around. “Wrote,” he said smiling softly. “Do you write all your own music?” Emma asked finally stepping back from his embrace. “Most of it, where are you going?” Brody asked laughing as he followed her into the bedroom. “In here,” Emma smiled tossing her shirt off. “Well then,” Brody grabbed her and kissed her. They stayed in his room all day making love and talking. She told him the plans for Friday night, and he was relieved that her parents were coming to stay. *** Emma picked up London, “Where’s Brody?” “I’m pretty sure he is at his hotel writing, he leaves tomorrow for England,” Emma said. “When am I going to see him again, Mom?” London asked as the phone rang. “Hello, you’re on speaker,” Emma said answering. “Is London available?” “Hi Brody!” London said excitedly. “How was school?” “It was ok, lots of drama. Everyone was talking about you.” “Is that alright with you London?” Brody asked concerned. “It was except the stuck up girls said you’re only being friendly to me because you want my mom.” “Really? They must not know you very well. You are extremely likable,” Brody said with a smile in his voice. “They also said that you wouldn’t stick around — that you would leave my Mom just like my Dad did,” London said in an angry tone. “Well that pisses me…” Brody began. “Okay Brody, I think London and I need to talk. Can we call you later?” Emma asked. “London, I’m leaving to finish something I’ve already started. After that we’ll see what happens, I have to tell you that I would never leave if I didn’t have to, or if your mother got incredibly sick of me. I’m extremely boring once you get to know me,” Brody laughed. “Em, could you to come to my hotel and have dinner after dance?” Emma was annoyed by what the girls had said to London, but what did she expect? “We can.” “I’ll text you the address,” he laughed, “oh and the room number, I would not want you to get lost.” Emma looked in the rear view mirror at London who was smiling, “Is that alright with you London?”
“Yes,” London laughed. *** London read her mother her book on the way to the hotel. Then she wrote her spelling words. She finished the last of her homework as they pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. “Good evening ladies,” Brody said meeting them outside in the hall. London ran up and hugged him, “Hi Brody!” “Come in, dinner will be here soon, I ordered for you. I hope that’s alright,” Brody smiled, “Good evening Emma.” They returned home from dinner with Brody at eight thirty, half an hour after London’s normal bedtime; Emma tucked her in and waited for her to fall asleep. She got up and folded laundry and thought about her day with Brody and quickly realized how much she was going to miss him. Her phone chimed. - I want to see you, may I come over?...MM - Sure...Em Emma finished laundry, just as she heard him pull in the driveway. “Hey,” she smiled opening the door to the back porch, “Come in.” He smiled and walked in, “This doesn’t freak you out does it Em?” Repeating what she’d said to him about the DVR’d Today show episode. “No, should it?” “Not at all, I just want to talk,” he hugged her. Great, she laughed to herself. “Come in,” she said and took his hand and walked towards the door. They sat on the couch, and she played with the hand she was holding. His hands were large and strong, double the size of hers. They were soft and well taken care of. She smiled as she looked at them and gently rubbing them. “Em?” He asked curiously. “Oh sorry,” she let go of his hand. “You wanted to talk?” “Yeah, I guess,” he laughed bewildered shaking his head and smiled at her. “Your hands are nice,” Emma said blushing, “okay?” Brody smiled, “I’ve never heard that before, Thank you?” “Okay,” she blushed, “So let’s talk.” “Have you decided on which offer you’ll take?” Brody asked. Emma sat back and rolled her eyes and he laughed, “I think you spend a lot of time with children, Em.” “No I haven’t decided, but I’m leaning towards,” she paused and grabbed a notebook and scribbled down four places. She ripped the pieces apart and folded them. Emma tossed them on the coffee table and spread them around and pushed them into a messy pile. She closed her eyes and grabbed one, “Here, tell me Brody what I’ve decided.” Brody took the paper and smiled, “Well it says here that you will do whatever I ask,” he laughed. Emma tried to grab it, and he held it high above his head, “You wrote it Em, so you better follow through,” he laughed trying to keep the paper away from her. Emma laughed as she grabbed for it again. Brody wrapped her in his arms and kissed her neck, “I want to know,” Emma laughed. Brody smiled seductively at her, “All decisions have been made, and just go with it. Now quiet,
enough talk, let me kiss you,” he smiled and kissed her. She climbed on his lap and grabbed the back of his head and pulling him by the hair towards her and kissed him. Brody grabbed her bottom and pulled her tighter against him. His mouth was hot, and his hands had not moved from her ass as he gently squeezed it. Emma kissed his neck and he started lifting her shirt. “We should go in the bathroom, just in case, we can lock the door,” Emma panted. He stood and carried her through the kitchen and sat her on the counter in the bathroom. She lifted his shirt and kissed his chest, she undid his belt and then his buttons. “You’re so amazing,” Emma said looking down at him, “Did you get your tests results back yet?” she asked licking her lips. “Yes, all clear,” he unclasped her bra. Emma pushed him gently away, grabbed him, and looked down. She slide off the counter and onto her knees and taking him into her mouth. “Emma,” he moaned, and pulled back, she bit down softly, and he stopped. She continued slowly and felt his hands move to her head, and he leaned against the counter. She loved hearing him try to control his breathing, and when she looked up he was watching her. His mouth was opened and his eyes filled with desire. “You should stop Emma,” he said as he tensed up. She grabbed behind his thighs and squeezed as she moved faster. “Emma damn, oh suck harder, fuck you need to stop.” Brody groaned looking down, she winked and shook her head slowly from side to side and continued until he spilled into her mouth and moaning loudly. Emma swallowed quickly and stood up. His eyes were closed as he breathed heavy. Emma giggled softly and nudged him over with her hip moving him away from the sink. She cupped water in her hands and swallowed it. Emma grabbed her toothbrush and brushed her teeth, he moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist hugging her. Emma smiled and grabbed her shirt, “What did the paper really say?” She asked pulling her shirt over her head. “It said take that off,” Brody said softly as he kissed her neck. Emma smiled. He handed her the paper. Emma read it and smiled, “Alright then.” “Alright then,” Brody smiled. “You are quite sure?” “Yep, I’m going to try extremely hard not to over think this. I have tomorrow night to get Troy used to the idea,” Emma said laughing. Brody’s eyes changed, he looked annoyed. “How are you going to do that?” He asked walking away. Emma followed him to the couch. “How do you suggest I do that?” “Not like that,” he said his voice ominous. “Like what?” she asked confused. “The way you just convinced me to give you that piece of paper,” Brody said staring at the floor. “You’re kidding, right?” Emma was disgusted. He looked at her and saw that he had upset her, “I leave for three weeks tomorrow afternoon.” “Ok, so then you think I’m just going to go crazy on my ex because I…” Emma stopped, “That’s comforting, what will you being doing for three weeks?” “Em, I’m just unsure,” he started and she interrupted him. “Are you?” Emma asked, “That’s fine, it was fun for the week and a half, I think you should leave Brody,” Emma stood. “Emma sit. Please,” Brody said pulling her down and wrapping his arms tightly around her as he tried to hold her still. “I’m pissed at you,” Emma seethed.
“I’m pissed at me too, that’s not what I meant. You had just — well I don’t want you to ever do that again with anyone other than me Em,” Brody said apologetically. “Listen I’m not like that, at all! Is that what you think of me?” Emma asked looking at him. “No, I shouldn’t have said anything like that, but that was amazing Emma and so has every other moment I’ve spent with you. I’m going to be going a hundred miles an hour, getting this album done when I would rather be here with you. I wish you could come with me, both of you,” Brody said apologetically. “Well we can’t,” Emma said softly. “Em should I leave?” Emma was confused, “I guess if you want.” “I just thought you…” “Over thinking things, Brody?” Emma whispered. “I don’t want to leave you, ever,” Brody admitted. Emma looked at him and took a deep breath, “You have to do this, right?” “I sure do,” Brody sighed. “Well then it’s not something to stress about if you have no choice,” Emma said coaching him. “Emma you have to be here when I get back,” Brody spoke with urgency in his voice. “You don’t have to worry about me, I won’t be going anywhere,” Emma spoke softly. “Thank God,” he kissed her neck before he pulled her up and dragged her to the bathroom. *** “What time…” Emma started to ask when they finally walked out of the bathroom. Brody laughed, “That’s going to be quite difficult for me to answer when I’m over the pond, ten thirty Em.” “We were in there for an hour and a half, no wonder I’m having trouble walking,” she giggled. He smiled, “I’m going to miss your laugh.” “Please stop talking like that, will you come over tomorrow morning and spend the day? Maybe we could use my bed and not the bathroom counter if you want to,” Emma blushed. “Sounds perfect,” Brody said between kisses. “Get some sleep tonight, Princess.” “You too,” her hands wrapped around his waist and her head snuggled into his chest. “Emma, I love you,” Brody said holding her tighter. “Me too,” she replied sadly. He pulled away and looked down at her, “That makes you upset Em. Why?” “I have so much to get through, so much to do and I would rather just stay like this, and you’re leaving. I know you have things as well and I may sound like a child, but I’m afraid of what’s to come,” she closed her eyes and shook her head. “I believe in us Emma, I know it sounds childlike as well but I feel it here,” he said taking her hand and holding it against his heart. Emma smiled and hugged him tightly as he stroked her head, “I should go,” he said kissing her head. Emma did not lighten her grip at all. “The sun hasn’t come up yet,” Emma smiled as she spoke softly. “Hmm Emma, I want to stay,” Brody moaned, “You and I would both be spent by eight in the morning.” “When does your flight leave?” Emma asked pulling away; she kept her hands on his hips. “One o’clock from Rochester and then four from JFK,” he said as his hands lightly caressed her cheek. “When can you be back?” Emma asked taking his hand from her face and kissed each finger and finally licked his middle finger and drew it into her mouth.
“God Emma,” he breathed as he watched her and felt his desire grow quickly. “Bathroom now,” Emma said grabbing his hand and pulling him back in. Emma sat on the closed toilet as she undid his pants, his hands found their way up her shirt, and he tugged at her erect nipples. She released his hard thick erection from his jeans and licked her lips as she stroked him gently. She licked the purplish tip and her grasp became firmer and motions faster. She took him in her mouth, she needed to do this. Never had she felt such desire or the need to please someone, and not for him — but for her. She felt her sex heat, and she moaned as she sucked harder and faster. She stopped to breathe and licked the throbbing veins underneath his hard shaft. He leaned into the wall and she took him completely in her mouth, it touched the back of her throat, and when he threw his head back and clenched his teeth, she knew he was nearly there. He looked down at her his nostrils flared, his eyes full of heat and she looked up at him as he tensed and looked down. She opened her mouth and held his hard shaft and milked him into her mouth as he watched until he was empty. “Fuck Emma — that was amazing,” Brody said trying to relax and bent down taking her breast in his mouth and spreading her legs as he rubbed her wet and throbbing sex. She moaned, “Em come for me, you’re wet and hot and I want you to come Emma. Come now,” he said and shoved two fingers into her and his thumb rubbed her clit. He bit down on her nipple as he squeezed the other with his fingers and she lost control as she started to yell out and he put his mouth over hers to soften the moans. He continued his thrusts into her even when she tried to stand and she came again. “God Brody,” she whimpered. “I know Em,” he said as he slowly pulled his hand back and licked his fingers, “Mmm.” That’s oddly a turn on...so hot, she thought, as she took a quick breath. Brody looked at her and smiled seductively. “You’re extremely tasty, Em,” he said as he kissed her. “Time for you to go,” Emma stood up against him. “Are you kicking me out?” Brody asked in her ear as he licked her lobe. “No,” she sighed. “Just trying to remember who I am.” “I know who you are,” he said continuing to lick down her throat, “you’re mine.” Emma willed herself to lean back and smiled, “Well then, as much as I’m enjoying this, reality is…” “Reality is I have to leave, or your daughter will find out,” Brody gently kissed her head. “But here,” he said placing his hand above her rapidly beating heart, “there is room for us both,” he placed her hand on his, “I’m sure I’m ready for all of what you bring Emma, forever,” Emma’s face started to burn and he beamed, “I love you Emma, see you at eight thirty.” How could he be so sure, there’s so little he knows about me. Forever was a long time, and he was younger in years even when he makes me feel like I’m less mature. He had to know everything, tomorrow I’ll tell him. When he leaves he’ll have time to realize as amazing as this has been, he deserves more. How could I let this happen so soon? How could I have fallen in love with him? Well I get it. He’s amazing but— how could he fall for me. It’s not real. We’re just each other’s rebounds, nothing more. *** Emma opened the door and he stood smiling, Emma looked down. Brody wore a pair of dark jeans, a gray button down shirt, and a white tee. His blue eyes sparkled and her insides heated from just looking at him. How could it be possible that he could get better looking every day? “Are you going to ask me in?” Brody grinned. “Of course,” Emma said snapping out of her ache for all things Brody, “I made you breakfast.” “I had M&M’s in mind,” he whispered in her ear as she walked through the door.
Emma laughed, “I think we should sit, eat, and talk. There are things I want you to know.” “Alright, you sound serious. Are you alright?” Brody asked cautiously. Emma smiled and set two plates on the table and sat across from him. She looked up and forced a smile. “Brody where do you see yourself in three months?” she asked as he took his first bite of his omelets, “Don’t answer that...keep eating. I want you to just listen…” Brody swallowed, “Emma I can answer.” “No, I don’t want you to; I want you to know some things. You asked me about the scar on my belly. I had surgery a few years ago. I have one ovary, no uterus; I won’t be able to have any more children. Besides I’m too old to anyway. I’m overly protective of my daughter and always will be. I wasn’t always an only child. I had an older sister that was taken at a shopping mall and never returned. I have extremely low self- esteem, which means I will get fat again. I’m just now taking a step towards a career, so I have no retirement. Frankly, I have nothing to offer you and I want you to leave today and find someone who will be able to give you everything you deserve in life. I mean...I would love to spend the day in my bed fucking you until neither of us could walk and then drop you off at the airport and kiss you goodbye knowing that what we had was amazing. We’ve been exceptional rebound material for each other but love? Brody, love doesn’t last, not between two people who are so different,” She took a deep breath and sat back. Her head still hung low as she tried to avoid looking at him. Okay Brody, say something...please say something, she thought trying to will him to speak. “Please say something,” she finally whispered. “Thank you for breakfast, I’m ready for you to show me your bed now,” Brody said, his voice was different from any time before. He pulled her chair out and she stood unsteadily and he grabbed her waist. She walked up the stairs and to the end of the hall. When they entered the room painted in soft rose, he looked around and then back to her. His eyes went from dancing at the door to dangerous in the bedroom. She hadn’t seen this look before and she wasn’t sure what he was feeling, she started to speak, and his mouth crashed into hers. He pulled away after his fast hard kiss, “You’re done talking for a while, you just fucking floored me down there. If I wasn’t leaving you for three weeks in just a few hours, I would fuck you until you were about ready to come. But you wouldn’t, I wouldn’t allow it after that shit down there. And that would continue until I couldn’t take it anymore and then you would suck me until I came in your mouth. I would walk out that door and you would be left here to wish I hadn’t left, or you chased after me. Emma your clothes are still on, get them off,” he growled, and she jumped. Damn he is so hot and rude, and why do I still want him so badly? She wondered. Brody grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head and next was her pants. She stood still, her heart beating harshly like a wild bird wings against her chest. He ripped her underwear off and rubbed his nose in them and moaned. Oh fuck me, I think I’m going to come right now, she thought and she squeezed her thighs together and moaned. “Not yet Emma. You’ll come when I tell you to,” he said and took her bra straps off her shoulders and bit her neck and turned her around, unsnapped her bra and it fell to the floor, “Lay down if this gets too intense let me know, bend over.” Emma did as she was told, and he rubbed her sex, “All ready for me Em, good,” he slipped his finger into her gently and then harder until he heard her breathing change. She squeezed around his finger and he pulled it out. He flipped her to her back, and she gasped. He avoided eye contact and pulled her up to sit kneeling down in front of her he spread her knees wide, he put two fingers into her mouth, “Suck.” Emma obeyed. He pulled his fingers away from her mouth and slid them in her, she moaned, “Brody, please.” “Quiet,” he said as he continued to pleasure her.
Emma looked down and saw his jaw clenched and the wild look in his eyes as he pulled his hand away and licked and nibbled and sucked between her legs. Emma was on the edge again and he stood up and kissed her. “Please Brody,” she whimpered. He pulled her up the bed and kissed her hard and roughly kissed down her body until he reached her sex again and licked and tugged until again she was on the edge, he pulled away. He looked at her, she had tears in her eyes, and finally something snapped. His eyes changed to her Brody. “Emma,” he whispered and took a deep breath. Her tears started flowing, and he kissed them away. Finally, she breathed and kissed him back. He lay on top of her and gently eased into her and slowly, softly made love to her until they both came. Emma rolled to her side putting her back to him. Brody sat up and pulled his pants up. He sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and hands in his hair, “I’m going to take off.” She let out a breath and sat up and grabbed her shirt, “I’ll walk you out,” she whispered. “No need,” Brody said coldly. “Fine,” Emma said and grabbed her clothes and quickly walked past him, dressing as she walked down the hall. As he came down the stairs, Brody heard her in the bathroom crying. He knocked on the door, “You alright?” “NO, I’m not alright, but you can leave. You proved your point to yourself, whatever the fuck it was,” Emma yelled. She heard the door open and waited a few minutes and walked out with tears pouring down her face, she grabbed a tissue and blew her nose and screamed into her hands. She turned and he was sitting at the table with his arms crossed over his chest scowling at the ground. Brody peered up, “I’m sorry.” “For what?” Emma asked to trying to get it together. “Everything you’ve been through. Your sister, your shitty self- esteem, that you can’t have more children. I’m sorry you don’t believe me when I say I love you and that the past almost two weeks have left you still doubting what I tell you,” Brody quietly said. “But not about what happened upstairs,” Emma gasped. “No. I took control, so you didn’t have to. I let you come, and I shouldn’t have. If you weren’t spending tomorrow night with your ex, I wouldn’t have let you. You would have been so worked up that all you would have thought about was how badly you needed me to fuck you that none of your doubts would have mattered, so no. I told you to tell me if it was too much and you didn’t,” Brody stated unemotionally. Emma gasped, “Why would you do that to me when you say you love me?” Brody raised an eyebrow, “You’re not allowed to act pissed Emma. You were ending it down here.” “So why are you still here?” Emma tried to use the same detached tone he had used with her, “Do you need to fuck me senseless again?” “If that’s what you want, but no. I wanted to say I was sorry,” he said coolly. She could see the bulge in his pants growing. Shit — why do I still want him? Because I love him, because he rocks in bed, because he is still here when anyone else would have just left, she thought. “Fine — I will be upstairs waiting to be fucked again, even though that’s a nasty word!” When he walked in the room, she was sitting on the bed in a t- shirt looking down. Brody climbed in behind her, leaned against the head board and grabbed her and pulled her between his legs and held her, leaning her back into him. “After we made love Emma this is what should have happened, I should have held you. I don’t regret
taking you to the edge over and over, but I do regret not ending it like this, I was pissed.” Emma didn’t respond, but she put her hands on his knees. “Em what happened with your sister?” he asked softly. “She was kidnapped and killed,” Emma said in a straightforward tone. “My God...I’m so sorry,” Brody kissed her head. “Yeah, me too,” Emma sighed. “And your surgery,” he asked quietly. “Cysts and the fact he wouldn’t have more babies. I couldn’t deal with the pain knowing it wasn’t going to be rewarded with a bundle of life,” she laughed softly. “Em, I don’t need to have a child,” Brody whispered softly in her ear. “That’s not a decision you should make in an hour or two. You’ll be a great father someday Brody. London adores you, I know you’ll be such a wonderful father,” Emma felt tears building in her eyes again. “You’re beautiful Emma, you should see you the way everyone else does, and you should never worry about what you look like. The day I ran into you my breath was taken away immediately, you left me breathless,” he kissed her again. “You are more than I could have ever imagined, I wish you knew how deeply I feel for you. So as far as me wanting more Emma, you are my more, I love you.” “Please, I won’t hold you back, right now, even after your nonsense here earlier…” Emma began. “You liked it; tell me it was awful Em…” Brody nuzzled into her neck. “I like you Brody; I love you and want you to be happy without resentment. I love you enough to let you have everything you deserve without me holding you back, I hope you understand,” Emma took a deep breath trying not to cry. “Not going to happen, stop your nonsense or I will fuck you senseless Em,” he lightly bit down her neck. Emma moaned, “You liked me being in control Emma?” “I didn’t like how detached you seemed. It was like you left me, where did you go?” Emma asked. Brody took a deep breath, “Skirting the question Emma, did you like it?” “Yes I did,” she whispered. “Good to know, might we do that again? If I promise to stay with you, not act so detached.” Brody’s hand rubbed across her shirt and the other down her sex. “Hmm...I guess that’s a yes. Oh Emma, you’re going to love this, trust me. I’m going to take you right to the edge, and I promise not to let go, you trust me Em?” Emma turned to look at him. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, his excitement making her hot and anxious all at the same time, she nodded her head yes, “Perfect, I’m going to need a few things,” her eyes wide she felt her jaw drop a little. Brody stood up and opened her closet and grabbed three scarves, he looked back at Emma and winked. Her heart was pounding, and her mouth was watering as he took off his clothes and standing naked in front of her. His legs were long and muscular and his ass should be the front cover of his next album. It would be a number one hit even if there wasn’t one song was on it. He grabbed his iPhone out of his pocket and plugged it into her Bose on her nightstand. He looked at her and bit his lips pondering a thought and then grinned devilishly and raised an eyebrow. Emma giggled. “Emma don’t you dare laugh,” he warned her. Brody gently tied her arm to the headboard and kissed her and tied the other. “Close your eyes,” he breathed and kissed her. Emma was tied and blindfolded when she heard the music start. She giggled when she heard Nine Inch Nails start until he bit down on her very alert nipples and pulled them almost painfully away from her body, she whimpered and immediately felt pleasure shoot between her legs. Brody’s fingers lightly skimmed over her breasts, and she breathed heavy, he teased her with his hands the entire song and she was about ready to make him stop. She was very wet when Zeppelins Whole Lot of Love filled her ears and she tried to relax, she felt her legs spread, and his tongue crashed into her, and she yelled out his name. She realized immediately that the more intense the music got the more intense
her pleasure was Damn he’s good — my music man, she thought and enjoyed his slow, pleasure filled, torture. Damn this is a long song, and she was ready and wanted to come so badly. Coldplay’s Paradise started, and he stopped and moved back to her breasts. “Hey Music Man,” she whimpered. “I need you inside me please,” she felt him pull away, and the door closed, “Damn it,” she said and stomped her foot. Her feet both quickly were raised above his shoulders as he once again used his impressive oral skills to bring her to the edge. “Brody, please, please,” the music changed, and it was Blue Love, he lowered her down and she yelled out his name and she came hearing his voice. She felt her arms release and she sat up and went to remove the blindfold, and he gently grabbed her hands and slide behind her and took it off. She turned her head and looked at him, he kissed her and lifted her onto him, her back to his chest as he helped her move up and down his massive erection he muttered her name and said over and over, “I love you Em, forever.” “Oh Brody, I love you,” she said and turned so he wouldn’t see her cry. She moved up and down him with urgency and need. He tried to slow her, but she wouldn’t, they both finished together. Brody laid down and pulled her onto him. His song was repeating, and he was holding her tightly. She turned and buried her head into his chest. He felt her tears and tilted his head down to look at her. “What’s wrong Em?” He asked sweetly as he wiped her tears. “I need a shower,” she said and stood up and walked to the bathroom. He waited until the shower turned on and he cleared his throat as he walked in. She peeked out of the shower, “What are you doing?” “May I?” “Sure,” Emma held the curtain open. They kissed and washed each other until the water ran cold. Emma had never felt so loved before. Brody was amazing in every way. She watched as he dressed and smiled, he looked up at her through his long lashes as he buttoned his pants and shot her an embarrassed half smile as he shook his head. She sat on the edge of the bed and watched him throw his shirt over his shoulders and started to button it. “Please don’t.” “What?” “Leave it undone, please. Just until we leave, please” Emma asked feeling her face flush. “Anything for you Princess,” he swooped down and kissed her. “Can we lay here and just hold each other?” Emma asked boldly. “Yes, I’ve got an hour before I need to leave,” Brody grabbed her and pulling her towards him. “Okay I have to leave a few minutes before to stop and get gas, where are you dropping off your car, the hotel?” “No, Emma, I’m going to drive to the airport. I would rather you not drive all that way by yourself,” Brody kissed her head. “No, Brody, I need to say goodbye to you, I’m taking you,” Emma’s voice broke, and she started to shake. “Emma I can’t let you drive like this, too emotional,” Brody softly stroked her hair. “No, you can’t make all the decisions, it’s not fair, I want to go with you,” Emma was now sobbing. He sat up and held her tighter, “This is why Emma, no more fighting. Please, I can’t have the woman I love, or London’s mother driving in this emotional state. Not a request and it’s my final decision, out of love Emma.” Emma held tightly to him and cried until she fell asleep in his arms. She woke with more tears. “Emma, please don’t cry.” “Okay,” she wiped away her tears, “I’m going to fix you lunch.” Before he could argue she had jumped up and run downstairs, she returned with lunch. They sat on the bed, and he ate while she nibbled.
When she finished she decided that he’d dominated her most of the day, and it was her turn. She started to undo his pants, and he shook his head no. “You can’t tell me no.” Brody kissed her gently, “Emma I’ve got thirty minutes, and I want to spend them holding you, not coming in your mouth and knowing I can’t return the favor for three weeks.” “Are we keeping score because if we are I’m down by about at least thirty,” Emma smiled. “Are we keeping score Em?” “And if its basis were intensity well I don’t think I could ever make up for that, I’m sure I’ve had more with you than I did the entire time I was married,” Emma said laughing hysterically. “Good to know, so no worries about tomorrow night then?” Brody asked cautiously. “No, Brody none,” she said looking him in the eyes. “How about the next three weeks?” he asked sadly, she shook her head no and took a deep breath. He held her tightly, “None for you ever, do you understand? Ever.” Emma nodded her head yes as she fought tears. Emma walked him to his car and held his hand tightly. “So how do we do this?’ she asked breathlessly. “I’m going to kiss you, and you are going to return my kiss, it’s not goodbye, it’s see you soon,” he pulled her in and kissed her, she kissed him back. “I love you Em, see you soon,” Brody said softly. “Brody thank you, I love you. Drive safely, have a safe flight,” she paused and took a deep breath, “See you soon.” Brody stood back with his hands on her hips; he looked down at her and winked. He took a deep breath, “Em there are a few packages on the porch, one for you, one for London, I love you,” he started the car and looked out the window. He held up something, and she looked closer. It was her panties from this morning. He held them to him nose and took a deep breath; Emma shook her head and smiled. He pulled away, she watched him with tears falling down her face and her hands over her heart. Half an hour later her phone starts to ring, a picture of him holding her as she slept popped up as her picture ID, she smiled. “Thank you for doing that, I hadn’t even thought about taking a picture of us and well, it’s perfect,” she gushed. “Have you opened the packages yet?” “No, I figured I would wait until London got home,” Emma said quietly. “I thought you would say that so listen, one has something she shouldn’t see— grab the small rectangular box out of the smaller bag and open it with me on the phone,” he chuckled. She did as he asked and gasped, “Brody.” “Yeah. Glad I remembered,” Brody laughed. “Why did you buy me a vibrator?” “Just in case three weeks was too long, and well I want to hear you use it, Princess. It’s really more for me. We can have phone sex. Or if you’re bold enough we can Skype,” he chuckled. “I’ll have to think about that,” Emma said embarrassed. Brody laughed. “It’s kind of small in comparison to what I’ve grown accustomed to.” “Oh yeah?” Brody asked in a sexy voice. “Most definitely,” she laughed, “It’s also not attached to the hottest man on earth or that mouth that makes me melt.” Emma heard horns, “Damn it,” Brody yelled. “What’s going on?” Emma asked with concern in her voice. “I’m very distracted by my favorite candy right now, and well I do come from England, we drive on the other side of the road,” he laughed.
“Oh God Brody — you need to pay attention,” Emma gasped. “I agree, you are extremely diverting, I’ll call when I’m safely in the airport, love you forever Em,” Brody said and hung up. *** Emma sat and stared at the picture on her phone. His face was perfect. His big blue eyes set perfectly, and his eyebrows were thick and masculine. His nose was strong and in perfect proportion to his face. His bottom lip was plump, and begged to be sucked. His square jaw line making her take a deep breath— thinking of that mouth and the magic he made happen with it. His hair brown with hues of copper was messy and begged for her hands to be in it. Brody’s white perfect teeth and a smile that would forever outshine any other. In the picture he took, he was biting the corner of his lower lip and the way he held her reminded her of how he held his guitar the night he sang at the club in the city, like she was precious to him. Emma felt tears form and set the phone down and hoped that she was right. Emma did the breakfast dishes and decided to put away laundry. She cranked up Rusted Root and danced around the room. Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she jumped. It was her doctor’s office reminding her of her annual appointment scheduled for Monday. Emma grabbed the laptop and checked her email. Emma had a response; she could start her job in two weeks. Emma took a deep breath, she wasn’t looking forward to having this discussion with Troy. Her phone rang, and the song Blue Love played, she smiled and answered. “President of Brody Hines fan club,” she spoke in her best English accent. He laughed, “Em I’m here and should be boarding in ten minutes. Do you have time to chat?” “I’m particularly busy you know, but yes I’m all yours,” Emma said softly. “And I yours Emma,” Brody’s voice sounded sad. “Hey guess what? I start my new job in two weeks,” Emma said with a smile in her voice trying to cheer him up. “That’s great news Em. You’ll be very close to the city and to me when I return. Where will you be staying?” “My parents have a place in Tarrytown. There’s an apartment above the garage, small but very reasonably priced. I’ll look for a place after a month or so.” “Please don’t buy anything until I return — I would love to help you pick something out. Promise I can, please?” Brody asked calmly. “Sure if you’d like,” Emma said anxiously. He laughed, “I miss you already.” “I miss you more,” Emma said softly. Brody knew that was what she had said to London when she wasn’t with her, and at that moment he felt more loved than he had when they made love, “Emma you have no idea what that means to me.” They sat for a moment in silence. “Well you mean a lot to me, Brody,” Emma choked out. “Well Princess...I think I should let you go, you need to pick London up right?” Brody asked thoughtfully. “Yep, will you call me when you land at JKF?” Emma asked. “Of course and before I leave and when I arrive in England,” Brody said softly, “Love you, Em.” “Fly safe, I love you,” Emma quietly said. “See you soon,” Brody said with a smile in his voice. “See you soon, Music Man,” Emma responded and hung up. ***
London and Emma sat at the table and ate a snack. “You miss him Mom?” “I do, and you?” “Yep,” London replied as she ate a grape. The phone rang, and London grabbed it and answered, “Nice picture.” “Well hello London, how was school?” Brody asked hoping she would let it go. “It was fine. We miss you,” London grinned. “Did you get your gifts?” Brody asked. “No, what gifts?” London replied happily. “Sorry I wanted to wait until you were on the phone,” Emma said and went and grabbed them. “Alright London, you first.” London opened a box and screamed, “Thank you so much!” Brody laughed, “You’re very welcome, and I guess you like it?” “I love it!” London exclaimed. “I’m glad, I added some music and photos for you to check out when you have time, there are a couple more things in that bag London,” Brody said smitten. Along with the iTouch there were gift cards to purchase music, a stuffed bear, and a concert sweatshirt from his last tour that he signed, To London with big hugs Brody. “This is too much, thank you Brody,” London spoke in a sing song voice. “Your turn Emma,” Brody laughed. Emma opened a package with a brief case in it, “Thank you Brody this will be perfect for work.” “Look inside Em,” Brody suggested. She opened it and inside was a Mac Book Pro and an iPad, “Brody this is too much, I can’t accept…” “Emma it’s more for me, there’s Skype installed already,” he laughed. “Keep going.” Emma opened an envelope with a note, he had picked out new business attire for her, and it would be shipped when she and London moved. Along with it was a Pottery Barn book and a note attached that he had picked out bedroom furniture for her and London will also be delivered. “I don’t know what you’re looking at, but the clothes have been picked out. The furniture also but if you want something else by all means change it,” Brody said cautiously. “I love it, Brody,” London laughed. “Brody this is way too much. I won’t accept it, I can take care of us,” Emma said softly but firmly. “Em, I’m making this decision, if we need to talk about it later we can. My flight has been called ladies. See you soon, Emma I love you,” Brody said and heard London gasp, “I adore you London, take care of each other until I return.” “Mom, say it back,” London whispered. “You too Brody, see you soon,” Emma responded uncomfortably. “London will you take me off speaker and give your mother a moment please?” he said gently. Emma took the phone and walked into the bathroom, “Brody that’s all too much.” “No, Emma it wasn’t enough, but it will be soon. Once more I love you,” Brody said in a firmer tone. “Brody I love you...I just don’t want London so vested in us, what if…” Emma started. “If I could I would be there right now dragging you back up those stairs, we’re good Emma. We both know it, so stop. I love you Em,” Brody said more forcefully. Emma let out a breath, “I love you Brody, fly safe and see you soon.” “Much better Emma, see you soon. I love you more,” Brody hung up. Emma and London sat on the couch and played with their new electronics. London was going through the music, and every Kids Bop album was on the iTunes account. London was so delighted she couldn’t sit still. Emma smiled softly at her. “Mom he shouldn’t have done this, right?” She asked trying to contain herself.
“No, he shouldn’t have, and I’ll pay him back, it’s too much,” Emma said as she hugged her. London clicked on the photos and shrieked, “Mommy, look,” she handed it over. Emma flipped through the pictures, there were ones of the carriage rides, of them at dinner, and of the night they went to the show. All pictures of London and Brody. There was one other of when Emma was doing London’s hair for dance. “London they’re amazing, I don’t think you should share these with anyone, he’s very private.” “I know Mom, I promise. I shouldn’t let Dad see them either; he would get mad, huh?” London stated. “You and Dad are going to hang out tomorrow. Just hang out. He and I will talk about the move, my job, and everything else. These aren’t choices that you need to be worried about, okay? The only thing I want to know is that you want this, if not we can figure it out here.” “Mom, I think it’ll be perfect,” London hugged her. “I’ll be happy wherever we’re together. If we hate it we can always come back, okay?” Emma asked. *** Brody sat in first class waiting for the other passengers to board when he noticed Ariel walk into the cabin. She sat next to him, “Hello Brody.” “Ariel, what are you doing here?” Brody asked coldly. “I have a shoot in London; you’re going to finish your album right?” She asked. “Yes,” he said and turned away. “Brody, I miss you,” Ariel said placing her hand on his leg. He laughed as he pushed her hand away, “We divorced. You got what you wanted. Keep your hands off me Ariel.” Brody stood and walked past her and asked if there was another seat. “I am sorry Mr. Hines, the flight is booked,” the blonde flight attendant informed him. “How about coach?” he asked through his teeth. “I’m sorry,” she said nervously. “Fuck!” he yelled. Brody sat down, “Brody are you seeing that woman, the one in all the pictures?” “That’s none of your fucking business,” Brody said looking straight forward. “Good choice for a rebound, she is the total opposite of what I know you like,” Ariel began, “Very safe.” “Are you quite finished?” Brody asked as he stood up and walked past her again. “Miss, could you kindly go ask another passenger to switch with me? I won’t spend even a second next to her let alone seven bloody hours.” “Mr. Hines we need to take off, I’ll see what I can do when we are safe to move around,” she assured him. Brody took his seat and buckled his seat belt. He put his ear plugs in and listened to some new music. He was exhausted from the past couple days. Brody fell asleep. He woke, and Ariel was smugly sitting next to him. *** Emma was asleep in London’s room when her phone vibrated; she jumped up and smiled when she saw the picture. “Hang on one second please,” she said with a smile in her voice. She kissed London and covered her up and walked out closing the door. “You’re there safely,” she said softly.
“I am, I miss you,” Brody said in a deep tone. “See ya, Brody,” Emma heard a female’s voice over the phone. “Bitch,” he snapped. “Brody, is everything alright?” “No, I spent seven hours and forty five minutes in a damn plane that had no extra seats sitting next to my ex- wife,” Brody said furiously. “Oh,” Emma said and then was silent. “Emma, I had no idea. I truly don’t think it was planned on her part either, how could it have been — I changed my damn flight. You believe me right?” Brody asked. “Sure,” Emma answered quietly. “Please don’t,” he whispered softly. Emma cleared her voice, “What time is it there?” “Five AM,” he answered, “Emma I didn’t know, and I love you. You can trust me, just like I do you. I need you to remember that neither of us were the reason our marriages didn’t work. I will never hurt you.” “Okay Brody, I love you. I miss you, and I wish you weren’t so far from me,” Emma said softly. “Thank you. I feel the same. So we should have talked about this when I was there, but the time difference— its midnight there right?” “Yeah...it’s okay. I’m glad you called, and I’m glad you’re safe,” Emma whispered. “Thank you,” Brody said sincerely, “Alright at eight thirty your time it's one thirty my time, will that work for you?” “Sure,” she yawned. “Sleepy, Em?” “Yes, very. I was worn out today or yesterday, but in a particularly good way,” Emma giggled. “I was too, I slept the entire flight. Why don’t you go to bed and I’ll call you at one thirty my time?” “Hey you need to sleep too, Brody,” she laughed. “Why don’t you call me before you go to bed so I can say goodnight to you? It’s the weekend, so I can manage. Besides, I’m going to be stuck with my ex tonight as well, hearing your voice will make it better.” “Anything you want Emma, I love you, sleep now,” Brody said soothingly. “Goodnight, love you,” Emma said and waited for him to hang up. *** Emma spent the morning cleaning, a chore she had neglected all week since she’d been preoccupied. She called her mother and told her she’d like to start moving some of their things on Sunday, Caroline was ecstatic. Emma packed some of their things in boxes. She was grateful that she hadn’t pulled out any of the holiday decorations and winter items; at least they were already boxed. Emma and London had talked extensively every night about the move and what the change would mean to London. London was very happy to be able to have her grandparents there every day. Even though they lived so far away, they were extremely close. Emma knew how lucky she was to have parents that were such a strong presence. London would be going to the same school that Caroline worked at. Caroline was the school librarian so she would be taking her to and from school every day. Emma knew Caroline would keep her safe; she’d lost a child to a deranged convict that held a vendetta against Henry, Emma’s father, who at the time was a detective. Emma was three when her sister was taken from the mall in Florida. Elizabeth was five and beautiful and full of life. Had she been in the stroller she would have been safe. Caroline and Henry were at the department store buying bedding and turned for two seconds, and that was all it took. Elizabeth was never found. Emma’s family moved from Florida to New York running from a constant reminder of the beautiful child that was now in heaven with the angels. Neither blamed each other, what would have normally tore a family apart, bound them even
tighter together. It also made them cling tightly to Emma and shower her with more love than any one child could ever wish for. *** Emma’s phone rang, bringing her back to the here and now. She saw the picture ID and smiled. “Brody— you should be sleeping,” Emma answered. “I missed you Em, and I needed to warn you that there are some pictures popping up on the internet of Ariel and I. Lila was going to call you, however I prefer to do it myself. Now don’t get the wrong idea but could you get online and Google my name, it should pop up,” Brody requested. Emma opened the link and saw the first picture. Brody looked annoyed as he spoke to her. The next he was asleep, and she was holding his hand, the next Ariel’s head rested on his shoulder and her hand high on his upper thigh as they both slept, and the last was his head resting against hers. “Emma, can you say something?” Brody asked gently. “Sure, they make my skin crawl,” Emma said quietly, “I wonder if London’s friends have said something to her yet, which would upset her, she certainly doesn’t need any more stress than she’ll be dealing with over the next few weeks. This is too much Brody…” “Oh — I agree Emma. I didn’t ask for this rubbish either. I hope you know by now I don’t want to hurt her, ever,” Brody said urgently. Emma didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. “Are you still on the line, Emma?” “Yes,” Emma said and he sensed the distance in her voice. “I love you, and I’m so sorry. Emma, when you move no one will know, she won’t have to deal with this. I’m sorry,” Brody said softly. “You didn’t wake up when she was laying on you, or her hand was…” Emma spoke in a whisper. “No, Emma. I told you I was exhausted. I have no idea how she ended up on the same flight, and I can assure you I tried to get the seat changed,” Brody spoke in almost a whisper. “Okay, I’ll figure out how to deal with it and how to explain this to London. Brody, I think this needs to slow down,” Emma said with a quiet laugh. “No, you just need to trust me. And I need to let you know when shit like this happens because it will Emma. Fuck,” he yelled. Emma swallowed, “Can this just be between us and not London?” “What’s that supposed to mean Emma?” Brody asked in an agitated tone. “Well, you shouldn’t have said I love you in front of her for starters. You shouldn’t be buying her things or me for that matter. Brody we’ve only known each other for two weeks...this is all moving fast,” Emma said nervously. “You’re kidding right?” Brody asked in an angry tone. Emma didn’t respond she was too busy trying not to cry. “Fine Emma, maybe in three weeks we can discuss this, have a good fucking time with prince fucking charming tonight,” he yelled and hung up. Emma sat and cried. All she wanted was to get through the next few weeks and be strong for her child. Maybe this is exactly what was supposed to happen, she thought trying to calm herself down when her phone rang again. It was Brody, and she pushed decline and walked away. She received a text minutes later. - Emma, please call me back I’m sorry, please don’t do this. I can come back now and walk away from all this, I love you…MM - I’m trying to get things done around here. Don’t come back, your work is important, and so is my sanity. I need to be strong for her Brody, please understand that…Em
- Your sanity and your daughter are important to me Emma, and BTW two weeks was enough for me to realize that…MM - I’m having a seriously rough day Brody, very emotional. Please understand that I’m going through some things. You need to focus on your album, and I need to focus on her. Please call me tonight and please excuse my extremely jealous nature...Em - Whatever you need, but as previously determined you don’t need to control everything. You don’t like being the one to always make the big choices. I however, love every part of taking care of you and making choices for you, all of which have your best interest at heart. If I remember correctly, twenty four hours ago, you quite enjoyed it as well. Stop being difficult Emma…MM - How is it you made me go from angry and jealous enjoying my miserable existence to hot and damp in two seconds? By the way you’re going to have to stop being so bossy, I’m someone’s mother…Em Emma’s phone rang and she answered. “Much better, Emma,” Brody said seductively. “No, not actually,” Emma breathed out. “Hmm, I did buy you a gift to take care of that for now,” Brody said in a deep voice that made her hair stand on end. “Brody I’m truly busy...I can’t be...stop, please this is too much,” Emma said exasperated. “I love you,” Brody said softly, “I need to hear you Emma I want you to make yourself…” “Brody I won’t and you need to stop,” Emma said in a whinny tone. “You will before three weeks is up or I’m going to torment you when I see you again,” Brody laughed. “Are we all better now?” “Yes, I love you,” Emma said tenderly, “I do trust you. I just wish you were like the UPS man or something. I also want to know how she knew.” “Delivering you a package,” he moaned. “Brody!” Emma snapped. “Sorry Em, I don’t know how she knew, and I don’t care. She did ask me about you and I ignored her. I’ll never give you a reason to not believe my package is yours, and yours alone. This is going to get easier, I promise,” Brody assured her. “Before you called I was thinking about Elizabeth, my sister I told you about. Is your ex sane Brody, I mean I don’t have to worry about London’s safety do I?” Emma asked anxiously. “She isn’t crazy, or never gave me the impression she was anything but a gold digging whore. But I’ll look into it if it makes you feel better Em,” Brody said calmly. “How did she know you were on that flight?” Emma questioned. “I don’t think she did Em, I think it was coincidence.” Brody told her even though he questioned it too. He didn’t want her to worry. “Okay, please be safe Brody. I have a feeling that I can’t shake,” Emma’s tone was tense. “When do you move Em?” “Next weekend, why?” “Do you have a security system?” “No, Brody you’re scaring me.” “No, you’re fine Emma; I just think you would feel better, less on edge. I’m going to get one installed
while you’re at the hotel. London won’t know, and you’ll feel better,” Brody said in his bossy voice. “Okay…but that’s not necessary” Emma scowled. “Not up for discussion. I love you, see you soon,” Brody said with a cheerful tone in his voice. “I love you, see you soon,” Emma said and waited for him to hang up. “Emma, Skype tonight, bring that gift,” his voice was hot and steamy as he hung up. *** London and Emma walked into the Hilton, and Troy met them at the front desk. “Daddy,” London smiled and ran up and hugged him. Troy looked shocked; this wasn’t the normal greeting he received from his daughter. “Hello London,” he said stiffly, “Hello Emma,” he said and quickly looked away. “Hello Troy,” Emma smiled politely to him, and he looked confused. “Hey London, would you check out the window? Grandma and Grandpa will be here soon.” London turned and looked at her and rolled her eyes and nodded back to Troy. Emma smiled and laughed. “What is going on with her? She seems, I don’t know different,” Troy asked flustered. “She is happy Troy. And she loves you and probably missed you, it’s been almost two weeks since she’s seen you,” Emma said with a soft smile. “I expected her to be pissed,” Troy snorted. “Well she wouldn’t be pissed, she would be hurt,” Emma said correcting him. “Of course she would be, especially if that’s what you told her to be,” he said rolling his eyes. “Let’s not do that, please. Have fun with her, Troy,” Emma said sadly. “Mom — they are pulling in,” London beamed. “Cool. Wait for them and then help Grandpa grab the bags,” Emma said smiling, “Dad and I are going to talk for a minute.” “About what Emma?” Troy asked sarcastically. “Well for starters, we’ll be moving next weekend…” Emma began. “With Brody Hines,” Troy said angrily through his teeth. “No, Troy, with my parents,” which seemed to relax him a bit, “I got a great job and start the following Monday. I only have to be in the office three days a week, the rest I’ll work from home. London’s excited to be going to the same school that Mom works at. Do you have any questions or concerns yet, or shall I go on?” “What kind of job did you get that’s so excellent you’re going to move to Tarrytown and uproot London that you only have to be in the office three days a week Emma? Sounds like a crock of shit to me,” Troy laughed. “Well it’s a junior editor’s job and the starting pay is excellent. There will also be commissions and bonuses. Honestly it’s a dream job,” Emma smiled. “Really, well that’s great, how much is great money Emma? Do you plan to live with your parents forever?” Troy laughed. “Well Troy, I’ll be starting at a little less than you make. I assume that I can afford my own place at some point. Living with them is absolutely fine with me for as long as it’s necessary,” Emma smiled. “Sounds perfect Emma, everything you deserve — right? So how’s your love life? How’s your rock star?” Troy said flippantly. “Brody’s in England finishing an album for three weeks, Troy. He has nothing to do with what happened with us. Nothing at all,” Emma said looking sadly at him. “No, but you’ve let him into London’s life haven’t you?” Troy said in a bitter tone. “Well London saw him when her weekend with you ended abruptly, and she had a lot of fun with him.
Troy, she’s so much fun I wish you would just enjoy her. You’re her daddy, always. She’s one person in your whole life who will never hate you regardless of how much you screw up,” Emma laughed and elbowed him gently, “Do the same for her, love her, have fun with her Find yourself again Troy. Please.” Troy looked at her like he was lost, “But never us again Emma? We were good together.” “Troy, I wish nothing but happiness for you, always. You hurt me, I can get past all of it for London, but never for us as a couple, only us as parents to the most amazing little human being on the planet,” Emma smiled, “That’s what I wish for anyway.” Troy watched her and shook his head, “I fucked up. I loved you Emma, I truly did.” “Okay so what now Troy? What will you choose for London?” Emma asked feeling her eyes fill up. Troy reached over and wiped her tear away, “Emma I want to be the man I was, I don’t know what happened I truly don’t. Please forgive me,” he pulled her towards him and hugged her. “I can’t be anymore but…” Emma cried. “I know Emma. I see that. Just help me get better for her, please. She is the best part of us she truly is,” Troy said and held her tighter. “Daddy, please don’t cry,” London said and sobbed, “Please.” Troy closed his eyes and took a deep breath and pulled her into the hug he shared with Emma. “Hey, what do you say we head up the suite? This is kind of embarrassing,” Troy laughed and held her hand and held Emma’s hand with the other. “Emma? Your father and I are going to grab some dinner, call us if you need us,” Caroline smiled. Emma, Troy, and London ate dinner in the suite and talked about the move. Troy seemed happier than he had been in years. “Daddy, you know everything that went on the other weekend?” “Yes London, I’m so sorry,” Troy said and leaned forward like he wanted to hug her but stopped himself. “Well it was bad, really bad and scared me. I didn’t feel safe. Please don’t do that to me ever again,” her voice cracked and she started to cry, “Please!” Emma gasped and looked at Troy who looked horrified. Emma gently pushed his back so that he moved towards her, and they hugged and both cried. “I’m going to get better at being your Dad London, I promise you that. Mommy and I aren’t going to fight anymore. And I’m choosing you right now London. Over anything else, I choose you.” “Oh Daddy, thank you!” London continued to cry. Emma cried and closed her eyes. Why now you asshole, why now, she thought. Troy looked over at Emma, “London my hope is to be half as good a parent as your Mom. And our marriage failing was all me, not her. I want you to know that she has been nothing less than what I knew she would be when I married her.” “Daddy, Brody loves her,” London said looking him straight in the eyes, “And he’s very nice to her.” “Wow London,” Troy laughed uncomfortable and looked at Emma, who looked down. “Well she deserves to be loved; I kind of sucked at it.” “Yes you did,” London said. “Mom, are you mad that I said that?” “No, London, I want you to be honest with both of us but always considerate,” Emma said, “And sorry Troy, but something’s even adults can’t emotionally handle, so just be kind alright?” “Your mom thinks I can’t tell she’s in love with him. She seems to forget I know how easy she is to love, but I get it. I won’t interfere. I know she deserves to be happy,” Troy laughed, “So how about we hit the pool?” “Sounds good, can Mom come?” London asked. “Whatever you need until I’ve earned your trust London,” Troy smiled. They swam and laughed and had a great time. Caroline took pictures and talked with Emma about the move. After Emma and Troy tucked London in, he apologized to her parents and promised to get the help
he needed. Emma went to her adjoining room and showered and threw on the sweatshirt Brody had left and a pair of shorts. She decided to lay down and rest her eyes while she waited for Brody to call. Emma woke to a knock on the door, she opened it. “Emma you left your phone out here,” Troy said and handed it to her. “Oh, oh God Troy – I’m sorry,” Emma said shocked. “Nice picture by the way,” he laughed and shut the door. “Brody?” Emma laughed. “Em,” he said and laughed too, “Wow — that’s kind of like getting busted by your parents doing it in the car.” Emma laughed as she covered her mouth, “Okay it’s not funny,” she chuckled, “He has been wonderful today.” “Oh well thank God your ex who’s sleeping in the next room has been wonderful and we’ve been found out?” Brody laughed a belly laugh and Emma couldn’t help but follow suite. “God I love you,” Emma said laughing. “Emma, do you realize how loud you just said that?” Brody gasped jokingly. “Well it’s been one heck of a night. After we talked and hugged and cried and London hugged and cried with us, which by the way is the first since our separation, we actually talked. He told her she would be first in his life. He also told her how perfect I was. Do you know what she told him? She told him that you loved me and said it looking him right in the eye. She also told him that you were nice to me, like warning him. And he said that he could tell I loved you too and deserved to be happy. So Brody, I think me being loud is a moot point,” Emma laughed again. “London said that to him?” Brody asked with a smile in his voice. “Yep, she sure did,” Emma laughed, “Do you know how exhausted I am?” “I’m sorry Em. Does that mean no Skype tonight?” he chuckled. “Brody that’s not going to happen, sorry but I want the real thing,” Emma said softly. “Emma you’ll have it soon,” he whispered. “Tell me about your day,” Emma said as she laid back in her bed. “Compared to yours, mine has been pretty dull,” Brody answered. “No raunchy photos that I may come across that you need to warn me about?” Emma asked. “None, I stayed locked in my room writing. Two more songs to finish up and then to the studio for a week if I’m lucky; and then onto interviews for another week. Followed by a flight home and directly into you,” Brody said and Emma moaned, “Emma don’t do that.” “Sorry,” Emma giggled. “So I finished a song today, I would like your opinion on it, or approval I guess. May I e- mail it to you?” Brody asked taking a deep breath. “Yes, please, I’ll boot up my new iPad now,” Emma said cheerfully. Emma opened her email, and it was there, she giggled, “Can I open it now?” “Please do,” Brody answered jovially. DATE: 9/23/12 Honest opinion expected. If it’s too much let me know. Love, MM London Once cold and broken not knowing where to go. Pain unbearable when I let you go.
Dulled the memories where did it all start, Where it all began when she broke my heart. Falling down sitting broken for years and years Waiting to begin still waiting for the tears. I return to you, hoping you can give me strength to do what is right Stop this painful bitter internal fight. Chorus In your rain, I fall to my knees In your light, I beg you oh please, oh London oh, oh, London The sky lights up from your light the clouds break and I know it's finally right. The fog it's lifting could it be oh could it be That light from London's eyes is shining for me. The brilliant light you come from is where I need to be. Opening, oh opening up the ground beneath my feet, The warmth of her smile it's my hearts heat. Memories not so dulled by the pain anymore, Through her eyes I see what I left behind, now I ache to explore. Standing, watching, learning, feeling what was buried deep inside. The love that I shoved so far away burns so bright it can no longer hide. I return to breathe you in again to make it up to you. To remember what once was peaceful when I first felt love. Pain felt for years never came from I fall again looking above Chorus In your rain, I fall to my knees In your light, I beg you oh please, oh London ooohhh London The sky lights up from your light the clouds break and I know it's finally right. The fog it's lifting could it be oh could it be That light from London's eye's shining for me. The brilliant light you come from is where I need to be.
“Brody it’s beautiful,” Emma said softly. “Would you like me to explain it?” He asked. “Please do,” Emma said. “The first verse is about my mother’s passing and how angry I was at her for leaving. The chorus is about this trip actually, and about your daughter’s love for you, and dependency on you to keep her safe which I didn’t feel as a child. The brilliant light that you come from – that part of the chorus is you. The next verse,” he said taking a breath, “Is about when I realized why she left before she passed, for months Em. She lived here in London with my Aunt and we never knew why she left, let alone that she was dying and was trying to keep that pain from us. I only realized that when I saw that you would jump in front of a damn train to stop any pain that may come to your child regardless of the pain it would cause you. My mother loved me enough to not want me to watch her suffer Emma. My father told us she left us and never the truth. And then, he fell apart.” “Brody when did you find out all of this?” Emma asked deeply concerned. “Today Emma. I spoke to my aunt today,” he spoke, and his voice shook. “Oh I don’t know what to say. I’m so glad you have an answer and that it brought you what I hope is peace. But I’m sorry I can’t be there with you. Talk to me please, where is your head right now?” Emma asked. “I don’t know Emma,” he laughed, “We are both nasty messy right now.”
“But I’m here for you — don’t forget that Brody, please,” Emma said nervously. Brody took a deep breath, “Do you know it’s only eight o’clock in the evening, and I’m literally as exhausted as you sound?” “You should sleep,” Emma said in her maternal voice and Brody laughed, “Please tell me what you need from me.” “Emma, I need you to go to sleep, and take care of London,” Brody said in an authoritative tone. “What can I do to take care of you?” Emma asked softly, “I love you Brody. Don’t shut me out.” “I’m not Emma, go to sleep, see you soon,” Brody hung up. Emma cried herself to sleep. In the morning, she woke up and sent him a text. - I don’t want to shut down, but last night was confusing. You confused me by sharing your music and then something truly personal and not letting me in any further. I hope you are alright, you can trust me I’m here…Em Emma didn’t receive a response and spent the day with Troy and London. Troy helped them load her parent’s vehicles with boxes and even helped load the storage trailer. The three of them went out to dinner and then to visit his cousin Tessa to let her know what was going on. The night passed and still no word from Brody. Emma googled him and saw pictures of him walking in the park with three women, another of him walking out of a cemetery with dark glasses and his hair was wild. He had on a black t- shirt and loose jeans. The last was a picture at a bar sitting next to a blonde and next to her, was Ariel. Damn it, damn it, damn it. What was I thinking? I can’t do this, I won’t do this. Focus damn it, Emma’s head screamed. Coincidental plane trip to London together — what the hell ever! Sunday London and Emma attended the early church service and said goodbye to their friends. They took Troy to the rehab center and said tearful “see you soon.” Emma and London went to the movies and out to dinner and returned home for their normal Sunday routine. Emma went to bed that night and cried. Still with no response from Brody. *** Emma sat in the exam room at her OBGYN’s office and waited. She looked at her phone and still no call. The doctor did a breast exam and felt a lump in her left breast. A mammogram was scheduled for Wednesday. Emma drove home, feeling nervous but knew he was just being overly cautious, she was only thirty four, and she was sure it was nothing. Emma busied herself with packing and getting London together with a few friends and family members before the big move. London was so excited and busy that she didn’t sense the unease in Emma. On Wednesday Emma sat in the small white office looking at the photos on the wall as she waited for the doctor to go over the results with her. “Hello Emma, I am Dr. Green,” the tall gray haired man said shaking her hand. “Hello,” Emma said nervously. “Emma we found a tumor that’s one point six centimeters in your left breast. I would like to schedule a lumpectomy. We’ll be able to remove it without having to do a mastectomy, so that’s something very positive to focus on right now. I’m suggesting that while we do the lumpectomy we also do a biopsy of two lymph nodes because that’s how cancer usually spreads. This will tell us if we need to do any other treatments like chemotherapy or radiation. Emma, do you need to take a break?” Dr. Green asked. Emma shook her head no. “Alright, I’m going to refer you to an oncologist and a surgeon,” Dr. Green spoke in a professional
tone. The dam broke and Emma began to cry, “Are you telling me I have breast cancer?” “Yes Emma, but we won’t know what we’re looking at until we remove the mass,” Dr. Green said, “May I please call someone for you Emma?” “I’m divorced. I have an eight year old daughter. I’m moving and starting a new career on Monday,” Emma said wiping away the tears. “Okay I’m going to make a couple calls now Emma and you are going to sit here and think about strength. You’re going to be fine, alright?” Dr. Green told her. “Thank you,” Emma said. Dr. Green set up the appointment for Friday; there was a cancellation, so they pushed her right in. She called Caroline and Henry on her way home so they knew what was going on, and they were truly supportive as always. This means they would leave a day earlier than planned, London was excited about skipping school. On their drive to Tarrytown, Emma smiled as she looked in the rearview mirror at London who was happily singing along with her iTouch. “Hey baby girl, could we talk for a minute?” Emma asked smiling. “Sure Mom, what’s up?” “I have to have a little procedure in the morning, so you’ll hang out with grandpa while I go to the surgery center,” Emma explained. “Are you alright, Mom?” London asked worried. “I’ll be just fine, it’s just a test. Nothing like the operation I had two years ago. In fact, I’ll be home that night and still be going to work on Tuesday as planned, just a little detour from our original plan, no big deal,” Emma laughed. “Does Brody know?” London quizzed her. “No honey, no one but you and your grandparents knows. It’s kind of private okay?” Emma explained. “When did you talk to Brody last Mom?” London continued the quiz. “Well I think it was Saturday, we’ve both been busy,” Emma smiled. “Okay good, I like him,” London said stating her opinion. “Well you know we’re very different and just because we hung out a few times does not mean he’s right for me,” Emma reminded her. Her phone rang through the cars blue tooth system and announced Brody’s call. “Answer it, Mom!” London cheered. “Hello this is Emma, and you’re on speaker.” “Hello Em, hello London,” Brody said sweetly. “Brody I miss you!” London laughed. “I miss you too. I’ve been so busy. London are you skipping school?” Brody asked in an accusatory tone. “Yep, mom’s idea, we’re moving today instead of tomorrow, I guess mom has...” London started. “Brody — this is kind of a bad time. Can we speak later?” She asked shooting London a goofy face. “Sure, when can I phone you?” Brody asked. “We should be there in two hours, and then you can talk to her alone,” London laughed. “We are going to be truly busy this weekend getting things straightened around, how about Monday?” Emma asked trying to keep it together. “Em, please, I need to speak to you,” Brody said sounding wounded. “Alright then Monday works best for me, talk to you then,” Emma said and hung up. “Mom are you mad at Brody?” London asked. “No, not mad, just busy,” Emma smiled.
*** Caroline and Henry had unpacked all of Emma and London’s things and put them away. London had decided she wanted to sleep in the house and not the apartment the first night which Emma agreed to, that way she could unpack the remainder of the stuff that they had brought along after London was in bed. She decided to call Lila and tell her that they had moved and what was going on. “Emma,” Lila answered the phone, “How are you?” “We’re home now, almost moved in. The storage trailer will be here in the morning. I need to ask you a favor,” Emma asked softly. “Anything, you know that,” Lila said kindly. “Well, Brody kind of flaked on Saturday and didn’t return a text after that, he called today and well, I can’t do this with him Lila. There is so much going on,” Emma said and began to cry. “Emma, you should hear him out,” Lila started. “No, he should leave me alone Lila. I need to get through something’s, and I can’t waste my energy on this puppy love nonsense,” Emma said pulling herself back together. “Emma…” Lila began. “No, please Lila, I need to tell you something and I need you to be strong for me,” Emma said sternly. “Ok I’m listening,” Lila said soothingly. “I have an appointment tomorrow, to have a procedure. A lumpectomy. I have breast cancer,” Emma started. “What?” Lila said shocked. Emma explained everything and made her promise not to tell Brody any of it. While they were on the phone Brody called three times and Emma ignored each call. When they got off the phone she received a text from him. - You should know I’m not going to stop trying to contact you Emma, so answer your fucking phone!...MM Her phone rang again, and it was him, “Brody, please stop calling,” Emma said softly. “Will you just listen to me Emma? I fucked up, we had a pretty deep conversation, and I thought you needed space to deal with…” he began. “I do need space. A lot of it. So thank you for being so very aware of what I needed and still need,” Emma started. “No, Emma you need to listen to me so just SHUT UP for five minutes,” he yelled. “See, I knew that ‘age thing’ was going to be an issue, DON’T YELL AT ME!” Emma snapped. “I’m coming home, maybe if you could just…” Brody started. “No, you finish what you went there for. Right now Brody, I don’t need nor want this distraction. If you come home I’ll refuse to see you, do you understand Brody? I’m done,” Emma told him. “You’re done Emma? Wow that’s great, just fucking great. Glad I could fuck you through your slump!” Brody yelled. “Oh yes...thank you for making me feel even more worthless than you already have,” Emma responded in an exasperated tone. “Frustrated Em? Good! Damn it what the hell happened?” Brody asked. “Let’s see we talked about some really important things on Saturday morning. You realized Troy knew and that my daughter was vested, you’re struggling with something, I said three stupid meaningless words to you and you didn’t respond. When you and I finally actually opened up to each other you flaked. I can’t do that to me, and I won’t do that to London!” “You need to get…” he started, “Emma I’ll have my album done by Wednesday. I’ve been busting my
ass to finish it so I could get home to you. I’m cancelling my interviews and will be home no later than next week. Is that acceptable?” “No, don’t Brody, please don’t cancel anything. I just have things to work through, please stay. I’m going to be pretty busy for a while,” Emma whispered. “Emma,” Brody said sadly, “Don’t push me out, please. I love you Em.” Emma cleared her voice, “I can’t, not now and not ever.” “I love you Emma,” Brody repeated. “I’m begging you to just leave it alone Brody this will never, ever work. Please,” Emma begged, “I can’t do this.” “No, Emma you won’t do this, you love me, that doesn’t change in a week,” his voice cracked. “Well that’s where you’re wrong — I don’t. I mistook lust for love. It was exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. I’m sure if you dig deep enough you’ll find the same holds true for you. I’m sorry, but you and I are finished. I’m so sorry. Goodbye Brody,” Emma said sternly. “Don’t hang up Emma, I won’t call again,” Brody said firmly. He heard her take a deep breath and she hung up. Emma pulled her knees to her chest and cried. It hurt so bad to lose him, even more than...no, no, no, pull it together, she told herself, I don’t have the time do this.
CHAPTER NINE “Your test results will be back by Wednesday, we were able to remove the entire tumor. You should rest for a week; no lifting over ten pounds for a week okay Mrs. Fields?” Dr. Spandard said. “Yes thank you, may I go home now?” Emma asked. “Yes, the nurse is bringing the wheelchair now,” he smiled softly. Emma stood at the hospital entrance and looked at her father and began to cry, “Dad, everything has to be alright.” “Emma I know it will be,” he kissed her forehead. Emma slept the rest of the day in her bed. London and Caroline made sure she was well taken care of and pampered. Her phone chimed alerting her to a message. - Seems I’m not the only one making the gossip sites, is this why we are done Em? Are you really no different than the rest of them?...Brody - Well hello Brody. Interesting that you can go five days without any contact and then when I say I’m done...you get awfully chatty…Emma - Answer the damn question, Emma…Brody - Brody the man I’m holding is someone I will love forever, very handsome and strong isn’t he?…Emma - Who is it Emma?…Brody - Who is the Blonde in your lovely shot and why was Ariel there? Pointing fingers is a sign of someone hiding things, best of luck…Emma - Just answer the fucking question, how long have the two of you been together?…Brody - Well about thirty four and a half years? He’s the only man I’ve ever needed in my life, my father…Emma - Good…Brody - I am going to change my number; I sent all your gifts to Lila. LET IT GO!!!...Emma - You took the gifts I gave London?...Brody - I bought her a new one…Emma - With child support, classy…Brody - Better than prostitute payment…Emma - You said it…Brody - Yep, and I returned it…Emma - I guess I could recycle the gift to the next single Mom I hook up with…Brody
Emma shut off her phone and fell back to sleep, when she woke Lila was sitting in her room, watching her. “Hi,” Emma yawned. “Good morning,” Lila smiled, “How are you feeling?” “Sore, very sore,” Emma said holding her chest. “Not as feisty as last night?” Lila chuckled. “What?” Emma asked confused. “A very angry rock star with a funny accent called me last night and sent me a whole page of text messages, and insisted I deal with it,” she laughed. “Oh...I’m to be dealt with?” Emma laughed. “Apparently you may be a liability,” Lila said in an English accent. “Yes, I may just lose my mind, being the unreasonable woman that I am. Do me a favor? Tell him I said maybe he should have gagged me the day he tied me up and fucked me into submission,” Emma said annoyed. Lila gasped, “Did he really? And before you answer that can I really tell him you told me that?” “Absolutely, just don’t tell him I loved it,” Emma laughed. Lila sent Brody a text, and they both snuggled on Emma’s bed and laughed waited for a response. - She said WHAT? Lila, she’s going to be a problem, let her know that her mouth wasn’t running when she was on her knees in her bathroom sucking the life out of me. No, don’t Lila I thought I could trust her...what the hell am I going to do now?...Brody H. - She has been my best friend for nearly fifteen years. She won’t be a problem; just don’t fuck her up Brody…Lila - It was never my intention to do so…Brody H - Okay what else can I do for you today?...Lila - Tell her to start acting her age and that her place is with me and that regardless of what she thinks I know she loves me…Brody H - You actually want me to do that?...Lila - No she asked for space, more like demanded it, I should have listened to her. Lila, I do love her…Brody H - Well maybe you should start by not hanging out with the women in your photos online. Especially Ariel!!!...Lila - Wasn’t planned, BTW the blonde is my sister…Brody H - I’m a bit busy now maybe I could call you later…Lila - Are you with her now?!?!...Brody H - Later Brody, okay? ...Lila Lila’s phone rang, and it was Brody. “Hello,” Lila answered. “Are you?” Brody asked. “Yep,” Lila said without expression.
“Good put me on speaker,” Brody insisted. “As you wish,” Lila said. “Since it seems fair to discuss our private affairs with Lila, I want you to know Emma that if I was there right now this would be a non- issue, so cut the crap. When I do get home, I will find you and tie you up in pretty little bows and fuck you until you beg me to stop, even then I won’t. Remember what I said about not letting you finish so that you know where you’re meant to be so that you don’t flake out and feel that you need to be some sort of warrior Princess and take on the world alone? I love you, you love me and those pretty words are not the only thing that my mouth was made for Em, do you remember that? I do. I remember your taste, your intoxicating scent, your perfect tits and the very warm tight place that took me forever to work into. I also want you to remember I’m going to tag that ass as well. Now as you sit there wet with desire and need for me, remember that the pulsing you feel deep inside is mine to take care of. Got it Em?” he waited for a response, “Okay good, you’re not being defiant. You know your place. Now, I’m going to take a hot shower and jerk of as I suck on the panties I took from you when I left, so I can taste you Emma, my favorite candy. You may want to open up that gift in the box and use it a lot because I’m not going to let you come for days Emma. See you in a week. Ask your Mom for two nights off cause you’re going to be tied up for that long so that I can fuck your brain straight!” “I can give her three days Brody,” Caroline said breathlessly from behind Emma. “Mom?” Emma gasped. “Good lord Emma, say yes!” Caroline snapped, “Your father and I are taking London for ice cream while you rest, we’ll bring you back some.” “You’re an ass Brody!” Emma snapped. “See you in a week. Good day to you all. I love you Em, see you soon,” Brody said and hung up. Lila and Emma looked at each other and laughed, “Emma is he really like that?” Emma’s face turned red, “That and more, he is a bad ass rock star.” “And you’re going to let him walk?” Lila said. “I am. I need to get better, I can’t expect that he could hold up to that forever,” Emma said trying to laugh it off. *** London’s first day of school was amazing. Even in just the first grade they were going to learn Spanish and had the option of taking a musical instrument after school one or two days a week depending on their capability. London would start piano on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Emma would be able to pick her up. Thursdays, Emma could work a little later so that she could learn all that she needed to with hopes her career would take off. On Wednesday she went to her appointment after work. They had gotten everything, and there was no sign of cancer in her lymph nodes. She was ecstatic and she and Lila went out for a drink before getting on the train. “Your boyfriend called last night, he’s wrapping up his interviews this week,” Lila smiled smugly. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I do hope he’s doing well, I haven’t googled him in a week so I have no idea what he has been up to. I’m going to get going and hug my little girl. Thanks for celebrating with me. One more visit and I’ll be ready to honestly celebrate,” Emma hugged her and left. On Friday Emma met with a new oncologist Dr. Marcus Slain, he was in his late thirties and stood six foot tall. He had jet black hair and piercing green eyes. “Hello Emma, I’m Dr. Slain and would like to talk to you about a few things would you have a seat.” “Yes, please...I think I need one,” she said as she sat, he smiled at her. “I thought everything was fine.” “Right now it is and very well could be forever, would you like a drink Mrs. Fields?” He walked to the mini fridge that set into the cherry wall. He took off his lab coat and threw it across
the back of the large black leather chair that sat behind his desk. He was particularly handsome and well built. His black pants and blue shirt were obviously expensive and made to fit his body perfectly. “Mrs. Fields?” “I’m sorry please call me Emma, and yes, I would love a drink,” she said smiling. “Do you have a husband or boyfriend that could be here while we discuss this further, Mrs., I mean Emma?” He felt a bit uncomfortable. “No, neither, I do have an eight year old little girl and would love to be able to know that I will be here to see her children and her children’s children. Do you have kids?” Emma asked. “No, I don’t yet,” he smiled. “Are you married or dating anyone?” Emma asked and her face turned red when she noticed that he was uncomfortable, “Oh I’m sorry, please excuse me I just read that if a doctor felt more vested in his patient he would do more to...I’m sorry I’ll be quiet now.” “Emma” he said and sat in the chair next to her, “I can assure you that I won’t forget you and will do everything in my power to make sure you see your grandchildren. I’m single, I just moved here from Boston, and my work is my life, so I’ll make sure to take care of you.” “I have a friend that I want you to meet,” Emma smiled, “She’s also married to her career, and if anyone can show you this crazy town, she can.” “Are you trying to set me up or are you still trying to make sure you get the best possible care?” Mark laughed. “Both, so back to me, what do you suggest I do?” Emma asked. “I would like to try a very light dose of radiation targeting the area around where the lump was. This would kill any harmful cells that may become problematic in the future. It’s not one hundred percent but nothing ever is. I want you to think about it. I would like to do some more photos of your left breast and then set up some appointments to do the radiation,” he said and looked at her, “Are you alright, Emma?” “Yes just dizzy, when do we start. I just started a new job and I…” her voice broke, and she started to cry. “Listen,” he said grabbing her hand, “How about you take my card? I’ll put my cell phone number on the back; you can text me as soon as you can wrap your brain around this. I hope you’re not driving, I can give you a ride.” “No, a friend is picking me up, I just have to wait downstairs,” she said wiping her tears. “I’ll walk you down, you’re my last appointment today,” he said grabbing her jacket, “How are you healing?” “Good I think, aren’t you supposed to check?” Emma said. “Oh yeah...I’m sorry. I just got a little side tracked by my new patient Emma Fields, who has an eight year old daughter and just started a new job that is way too young to be going through this and is also trying to set me up, how did I do?” Mark smiled. “And now your new patient is going to flash you,” Emma laughed and so did he. Emma and Mark were waiting out front when Lila pulled up and jumped out. “Hey Emma,” Lila smiled, “Did you meet a hot new friend, you know the rock star will be heart broken.” “Emma, is this the friend you were talking about?” Mark said, and his eyes twinkled. She nodded her head yes, “Lila this is Mark, Mark this is Lila.” “Pleasure to meet you Mark,” Lila smiled. “The pleasure is all mine,” he laughed. “Not yet but it could be,” Lila laughed as she stepped back into the car. He laughed, and Emma looked at him, “She’s all bark and no bite.” “That’s too bad,” Mark looked past Emma and towards her. “Give her my number, PLEASE,” he said
with pleading eyes and hugged Emma, “Call me as soon as you have time to process it, alright?” “Come on, London’s waiting,” Lila yelled. “London?” he asked. “That’s my daughter’s name,” Emma smiled. “Alright two more bits of info about my new favorite patient, making you absolutely unforgettable,” Mark smiled as he opened the door for her, “Very nice to meet you, Lila.” “Nice Emma,” Lila laughed. “That is my new oncologist, Dr. Mark Slain. And he wants me to give you his number,” Emma laughed. “Well I guess I could call him, for you that is. You know, take one for the team,” Lila said in a sexy voice. Emma laughed, “Maybe he’ll tie you up in bows.” “Hmm one could only wish. Speaking of bows, your boy has two interviews that will be aired tonight, you should watch them,” Lila grinned. “Lila I need to keep focused, this isn’t over yet. I’ll be seeing the good Dr. for a while. Just think – well he’s already seen my tits, even touched them, you know yours could be next,” Emma winked. *** Emma and Lila walked into the house with dinner on the table. “I could get used to this,” Emma smiled as London hugged her gently so she wouldn’t hurt her. Caroline has been researching recipes that had cancer fighting ingredients. She made sure that most everything was high in vitamin D which was linked to slow the growth of cancer. As well as green vegetables— tonight it was Brussel sprouts. As they ate, Lila mention that Brody had a couple interviews that would be aired tonight and winked at Caroline. While writing down Mark’s number, she thanked Lila. “Call him, he’s as married to his career as you are, he’s also hot as hell. His eyes twinkled when he looked at you, Lila,” Emma smiled and hugged her. After London was asleep Caroline brought over laundry and turned on the TV. “I’ll fold them...just sit, relax, and watch TV with me,” Caroline smiled. Emma was almost asleep when she heard Brody’s voice and jumped. Caroline smiled and looked at the TV. “Welcome back, Brody Hines” Gordon, the host, said. “Good to be here,” Brody said and flashed his sexy smile. “So as per your publicist we have to avoid any talk of your personal life except what is on this card,” Gordon laughed as he crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder. Brody licked his lips and his eyes narrowed a bit, “Well, we just feel the less personal the better,” he said sitting back. “Well let’s get all the personal stuff out of the way first; we can time it if it will make you feel better. Let’s do thirty seconds of rapid fire questioning. You can skip three. Agreed?” Gordon smiled. “We shall see, shoot,” Brody smiled. “Boxers or briefs?” Gordon asked. “Neither,” Brody smiled. “M&M’s really your favorite?” Gordon asked. “More than you’ll ever know,” Brody answered. “Miss your ex-wife?” Gordon asked. “Hell no!” Brody laughed. “Anyone new in mind?”
“Yes,” Brody gave a half smile. “Have you sealed the deal?” Gordon asked. Brody raised his eyebrow, “Skip.” “Do you want to seal the deal?” “I believe in abstaining until marriage,” he chuckled. “Will you remarry?” “Sure, if she’ll have me.” “How long would it last?” Gordon laughed. “Forever,” Brody said deep in thought. “Do you like top or bottom?” Gordon laughed. “Hmm, top,” Brody said. “Vanilla or mix it up?” “Skip,” he laughed. “Do you want children?” “I love children, doesn’t matter either way.” “Now look at the screen and tell me which is more your type, A B or C.” Brody watched as the pictures came across; one was of Ariel, the second of Princess Kate and the third of Emma from the first time he ran into her at the park. “Skip, are we done here?” He asked, annoyed. “Yep, thirty seconds are up, thank you for playing that with us. After the commercial break we’ll return to talk about Brody Hines’ new Album, to be released a week early. And to discuss a new charity he has founded. Stay tuned,” Gordon stood and smiled at Brody as Brody looked at the ground. *** “He’s very handsome, Emma,” Caroline said softly. “Mom, please I need to get through all of this,” Emma said looking down. “Do you love him?” Caroline asked. “In a perfect world without cancer or ex’s he would be wonderful, possessive and…” Emma started. “Domineering is the word I think you’re looking for dear,” Caroline giggled. “Mom I’m sorry about that,” Emma was embarrassed. “Don’t be sorry. Enjoy him,” Caroline laughed and Emma joined her. They heard his voice again. “So Brody, tell us about your new Charity,” Gordon said. “Well it’s called London’s Child. It is to raise money for families, mainly orphaned children whose parents have died of terminal illness. So they don’t have to fend for themselves. This is Rebecca, my sister,” he said looking into the camera and Emma gasped, “She’ll be running a home here in London for kids who have lost a parent. A lot of times when someone dies the other parent struggles, and it’s the children who are truly failed. Be it to drugs or alcohol or just the demands to work more to replace income that those families have lost. We want to help them, as many as we can.” “Is there a reason behind this?” Gordon asked. “Actually it’s personal. But I’ll share. My mother died of cancer when I was young and well, to put it mildly, I lost my way for a while. It wasn’t until these past few weeks, that I realize how much I needed my mother. There you have it,” he smiled shyly. “So what else are we going to do today, Brody?” Gordon asked. “Well I would like to wrap some gifts that Rebecca and I bought that we’ll be donating to the charity for Christmas. We want to wrap them up in bows,” he said grinning and looked at the camera. “Pretty little packages, if anyone cares to donate a gift the address will magically appear on the screen.”
*** Caroline laughed and looked at Emma who was crimson and crying. “What’s wrong Emma?” Caroline said and hugged her. “His mom died of cancer, he was alone and scared and sad for many years. Now I have cancer and that’s just yet another reason I can’t be with him, and I love him Mom, I really do,” Emma cried. They sat snuggled up on the couch and watched Brody laugh while he tied the gifts and Rebecca wrapped in bows. “So what do you do when you run out of ribbon?” Gordon laughed holding up the empty roll. “Improvise, like use a scarf or I don’t know socks, whatever you can get your hands on I guess,” Brody laughed as he tidied up the bows. “Wow, bows make you happy,” Gordon laughed as he took his tie off and handed it to Brody to use to make a bow. “I love bows,” Brody said trying to hide his amusement. “And M&M’s,” Gordon laughed as his assistant brought out a bag. Brody shook his head and bit his cheek as he tried not to laugh but failed miserably, it was a darker deeper laugh, “Yes nothing makes me happier than bows and M&M’s, nothing in this whole world.” “So we could set you up in a chair with a bowl of M&M’s and a box full of ribbons and that would be good for you?” Gordon laughed. “Oh it would be what I imagine heaven to be. I could stay cooped up like that for at least two days,” he laughed, and looked at the camera, “Maybe three,” he said and his eyebrow rose. “Alright so you have a surprise for us tonight Brody — why don’t you tell the audience?” Gordon smiled. “Tonight we’re going to release our title track. All proceeds will go to London’s Child,” Rebecca shared, “And Brody and the boys are going to sing you the title track.” Emma sat and watched him as he sang. Just like the first time she saw him perform, it was like watching a private moment, one that she was part of. Her heart ached when she remembered the night Brody and her had talked about the song and how open he seemed. She was reminded how quickly that changed and how cold he became, and she knew she could not go through that again, ever. “I think I may love him too Emma, on that note I’ll leave you, go find your father,” Caroline laughed as she took the empty basket and disappeared out the door. Emma received a text at midnight - I hope you caught the show. No reading between the lines Princess, I will have you in bows…Brody - Think deeply Brody Hines; of what happened after you opened up to me about that and let this go…Emma Her phone rang, and she ignored it. - Please Emma...I need you …Brody - The interview was comical, now all your crazy fans know you don’t wear undies, the foundation you started with your sister is beautiful, and you should be very proud of yourself. Your performance was amazing. Take care.... Emma - Don’t patronize me…Brody - I’m not, you did great…Emma
- I hope you can see I’ve been busy Emma. This trip has been far from pleasurable…MM - Brody please, I don’t know how to end this, but I can’t do this to me or to you…Emma - Then don’t Em, just don’t…MM *** Emma sent Dr. Slain a text message with a few questions. - Do you work near the office? ... Mark - A few blocks away…Emma - Meet me for lunch? Tell me where you want to meet I have an hour and a half. We can chat…Mark “Thanks for meeting me,” Emma said as she smiled at Mark Slain. “No problem, I know you’re working at a new job, and after work you have your daughter to tend to so I can be flexible,” Mark smiled. “So what do you think?” “Well how often do I need to do the treatments, how long do they take, how will I feel, and what are the side effects?” Emma bombarded him. He smiled and sat down and took her hands in one of his, “First I want to do another mammogram; next we’ll start with treatments three days a week for seven weeks. Unless you want to try twice a day for a week. The side effects vary. There is armpit and chest pain, fatigue, lowered white blood cell counts, and it can cause lung and heart issues.” Emma realized how hard she was squeezing his hand and let go. “Sorry,” Emma said and looked horrified. Mark hugged her, “You’re fine.” “What do you suggest I do, I mean which treatment plan?” Emma asked. “Well you have to make that choice; you may have no side effects. One week treatment plan will obviously hit hard and fast, but if it were me I would do that. But I didn’t just start a new job or have a London,” Mark smiled sweetly. “Well maybe I can see if I can spread my hours between five days instead of three and work that out, I want this done,” Emma said decisively. “Good. Listen, we can start Thursday or Friday, and you would go until Monday or Tuesday. It’s up to you but three of those days you would have off of work. Maybe you could stay with your friend in the city?” Mark smiled, “I could come by and check on you.” Emma laughed, “I’ll think about it.” Mark walked with Emma back to her building and answered more questions. She hugged him, thanked him, and went back to work. She spoke to her boss and was given permission to work from home both Thursday and Tuesday. Emma was extremely grateful. She texted Mark and let him know, and he would set things up. Lila insisted she stay there, and Caroline promised to take London on school days. Lila would occupy her on the weekend at her place. *** Emma was scheduled at eight in the morning and four in the afternoon on each day. Thursday, the good doctor brought her back from each appointment and walked her in. “You have my
number Emma, anything you need or are concerned about, let me know,” Mark said sternly. “Thanks so much, I think I may be concerned at around eight tonight if you would like to stop over and have dinner,” Emma smiled. “You’re a doll, we’ll see. Go get some rest,” Mark said and gave her a quick hug. Emma walked into the bathroom to examine her breast. There was a small incision which was healed nicely, except for the pink mark it left behind to the left of her areola. Her once perfect breast now marked for life. It wasn’t a huge change, her breast was still the same size as the other, but if you looked close enough you could tell that a small dent would forever be there. The incision was low and horizontal so that if she wore a tank top it wouldn’t be noticeable. But Emma knew she would never feel completely comfortable the way she had with Brody, completely naked and tied up allowing someone to explore every part of her. It had taken her years to feel confident enough to wear a bathing suit let alone be in her birthday suit. She made Troy turn off the lights and were under the covers most of the time. It was never like that with Brody, he made her feel beautiful and desirable, and now he was gone. Tears fell down her face as she looked at herself. London would be here tomorrow so today she could cry, so she did. *** It was eight o’clock when Lila came home to check on her, she had been asleep for three hours. Lila saw her phone flashing missed calls. She grabbed it and walked into the hall. Lila returned Caroline’s call and told her that Emma was asleep, and they decided it would be best to let her sleep. She answered the phone when Mark called and told him she was asleep, and he offered to come over, she accepted his offer. They were chatting in the living room when Emma walked out. “Oh hey, what time is it?” Emma asked. “Eight thirty, you should call London, she’s worried about you,” Lila smiled. “How’re you feeling, Emma?” Mark asked and felt her head and immediately took her pulse. “I’m fine, just tired,” Emma said with a forced smile. “Is that my phone?” “Yes I’m sorry, I returned your calls, all except one, I didn’t want to wake you,” Lila said giving her a sad puppy dog face. “Give it a rest, Lila,” Emma walked away to call London. Friday was the same except London would be there at seven, and she was extremely excited. Lila had rented some movies and Mark was stopping by again. Friday ran into Saturday and Emma was getting more tired every day. By noon on Sunday she was exhausted, and her body ached. Her breast was red and hot and extremely uncomfortable. Caroline had come to get London and Emma thought she’d held it together wonderfully for her daughter, and now she was going to bed. ~ Caroline pulled into the driveway, and London screamed and jumped out of the car and ran towards her Grandfather and a man Caroline couldn’t tell yet who he was. “Brody,” London screamed and jumped in his arms. “Well hello there London, have you missed me?” Brody said laughing. “Of course I have, more than you could ever imagine,” London squeezed him tightly, and he felt her little body shake and could tell immediately that she was crying. “Miss London, what’s wrong?” Brody whispered. “I missed you Brody,” she sobbed. “Well you were with me the whole time,” he breathed out and closed his eyes. “Brody, mom isn’t here, she’s in the city, and she...” London began. “Brody Hines, what brings you here?” Caroline interrupted. “I just returned from London, and I missed it so much that I figured I would stop by and see someone
who outshines the whole city itself,” he smiled as he twirled her around. “Well why don’t you come in for a little bit, it’s almost London’s bedtime, but I think we could bend the rules this once,” Caroline smiled and patted his back. “Henry, you have met Brody?” “I have, he pulled in a couple minutes before you did,” Henry smiled and kissed his wife. London was still wrapped around Brody, and he held her as tightly as she held him. “I brought you some things from the city that was named after you,” Brody said and pulled her away and looked in her eyes still full of tears. “Okay Miss London, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m going to fix it, so you don’t have to worry anymore.” “I love you, Brody,” she whispered. “I love you more,” Brody said softly. “That’s what Mommy says,” London said with a smile on her face. “And I learned it from her, she’s very smart. Just like you,” Brody set her down, “Are you going to be okay?” “Are you going to see my Mommy?” “Do you think I should?” “Yes,” London said sticking her nose in the air. “Well then I guess I should then,” Brody said and kissed her nose. “London, your Mom is going to be busy for a few days, three to be exact Brody,” she said giving him a knowing look. “Maybe you should wait until then.” “No Grandma she needs…” London started. “London my sweet, sweet girl,” Caroline smiled “Your Mommy needs a few days okay?” London started to cry, and Brody closed his eyes tight and tried to hold it together. “With all due respect ma’am…” “Watch yourself Brody,” Henry sneered, “My wife and granddaughter are standing right here, and our daughter, our little girl needs just a few more days without a bunch of...” “Okay Henry. Thank you,” Caroline said and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Shit Grandma, that’s what he was going to say, and Brody isn’t shit, he loves her and she loves him,” London screamed and ran to Brody crying. “Oh London,” Brody said picking her up and held her. His eyes narrowed, and jaw clenched as he shook his head. “Is she at Lila’s?” “Yes and she’s sick Brody. Really sick,” London sobbed. “What’s wrong with her?” he growled. “It will be her decision to tell you if she feels like it,” Henry answered with piercing eyes. “Grandpa!” London yelled. “Shh...it’s okay. Your Mom would do the same thing to protect you. Caroline, Henry could I please read London a bedtime story and hang out until she falls asleep?” Brody asked politely. “Yes you can, Brody come with me,” London said jumping down “Come with me to our place. I can get my PJ’s.” grabbing his hand and pulling him to the house. Brody walked up the open stairway behind London that lead to a beautiful open floor plan. It was about sixteen hundred square feet, the living room and kitchen was separated by a large granite island with a stovetop and a grill built in, there were four cast iron barstools. There was a large dining room pub style high top table and six chairs and four bay windows, two of which had window seats. The others set up as office areas. One was clearly where Emma worked. Brody walked over and grabbed the sweatshirt he had given her that was hanging over the back and smelled it, he could smell her sweet scent mixed with his and he felt tears fall down his face. He loved her and something was horribly wrong, and he’d been told he couldn’t go to her. FUCK, he thought, I don’t give a shit what they say, there’s no way I’ll spend three more fucking
days without her. London gave him a tour, and he noticed she hadn’t gotten the furniture he’d given her, and when he saw the garment bags he knew she hadn’t touched the clothes. “How does your Mom like her new job?” Brody asked. “She loves it,” London smiled. “So she isn’t feeling well?” Brody asked, and London looked over his shoulder. “She’ll be fine,” she said and smiled. “Okay Miss London — let’s get you into bed, tell me where,” Brody smiled and took her hand. Brody waited until London was asleep. He knew she was because Emma had told him about the little shake she did before she fell into a deep sleep. She was right she knew her daughter so well, and he knew it took a lot to keep her away from London. As he lay with London in his arms he took his phone and searched the web and found many pictures of Emma with a man, all involved hugging. He immediately was pissed and when he saw Lila in one of them he felt betrayed. He couldn’t move, he didn’t want to; he adored her daughter and thought there was no one else but Emma for him, forever. He fell asleep holding London, Caroline went into the room and took a picture and texted it to Emma. - He loves you Emma, and she loves him, please don’t over think this…Mom Brody woke up to London giggling, “London, I’m so sorry I can’t believe I fell asleep, your Mom is going to be so angry...and your Dad, well…” “Good morning, Brody,” Caroline smiled as she walked in the room, “Did you sleep well?” “Caroline I apologize…” Brody started. “I didn’t have bad dreams last night, Grandma,” London said and took his hand and pulled him up. “I know, that’s the first time in almost a week,” Caroline smiled at her and winked at Brody, “Breakfast is ready and then shower and school for you Miss London.” *** It was ten o’clock when Brody’s car pulled up in front of Lila’s building. He still had the key and let himself in. He walked down the hall and the bathroom door opened and Emma was standing in a towel fresh out of the shower looking like hell. “Brody,” she whispered and started to fall. “Emma,” he yelled as he grabbed her and held her in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Emma?” Brody looked up and saw the man from the photos. He was pulling his shirt over his head, “Emma, are you okay?” “Who the fuck are you and what have you done to her?” Emma tried to pull herself up, and her towel dropped and Brody grabbed her and looked down and saw the scar and the red swollen breast, “What the fuck did you do to her?” “Please stop, please. Mark the towel...please cover me up,” Emma said softly. “Mark? Emma is that what you want, someone to fucking leave marks on you?” Brody yelled. “Brody, please I don’t feel well,” Emma said and closed her eyes. “Brody Hines?” Mark looked at the angry man holding Emma, “I need you to go put her on the bed and let me make sure she’s alright.” “Fuck you, get the fuck out of my way, you sick bastard. Emma...I’m going to get you help but whatever he did to you, you need to tell me, Em, come on Princess — talk to me,” Brody said holding her tightly, “If anything happens to her I will rip your fucking throat out Mark!” “Brody, he’s my doctor,” Emma choked out and closed her eyes again.
“In any other situation Mr. Hines I wouldn’t be telling you shit but you need to do as I asked, go set her down now,” Mark snapped. Brody gave him a challenging look, “Do it now and then call Lila.” Brody did as he asked out of sheer panic that he was going to lose her. He watched as Mark checked her heart rate and breathing. He grabbed his bag and set up a saline drip and put an IV in her arm. “Did you call Lila?” He asked looking at Brody. “No, I didn’t. I haven’t decided if I’m going to let you fucking live or not,” Brody sneered at him. Mark smiled and grabbed his phone, “Lila, I know you’re busy but there is a very angry rock star here, threatening my life...could you come back home? Thanks.” Emma started to wake up, and Brody grabbed her hand, “Brody, why are you here?” She asked weakly. He didn’t answer. He just looked at her and kissed her hand. He heard Lila and Mark walking towards the room. “Brody this is Mark Slain. Mark, this is Brody Hines.” “Lila what the fuck is going on?” Brody growled at her. “Emma’s sick, and Mark’s her doctor,” Lila said sitting on the bed next to Emma, “Emma you’ve had an exciting morning, how are you feeling?” “Like hell,” Emma smiled, “What ti…” “It's ten thirty in the morning,” Brody answered, and Emma started to laugh. “I need my phone I need to call…” Emma started to say as she was sitting up with Lila’s help. “London’s at school, your parents are fine, here’s your phone,” Brody said in a detached tone. “I missed a message from Mom,” Emma whispered and looked at it as Lila looked over her shoulder. “Where were you last night Brody?” Lila laughed. “That’s none of your concern,” he answered as he scowled at her. “Brody, damn it!” Emma yelled and started to cry. “We’re going to give you two a moment. Lila, let me get you breakfast,” Mark said taking her hand and walking out the door. “Emma...you need to tell me what’s going on,” Brody said firmly. “How could you do this? I told you that we were done. Tell me why you would do this to her?” she said and handed him the phone. Brody looked at the picture and narrowed his eyes, “I went to see you, and London was upset, I read to her and waited to feel the little shake, and I was going to leave but she was so upset Em,” Brody couldn’t control it anymore, “look at me Em, you’re fucking me up,” he said and cried with his head in his hands. “I’m so tired Brody, so seriously tired. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, but you’re giving me no choice. So listen because I won’t say it again. I have breast cancer. I found out the Monday after you left. You hadn’t returned my text and I honestly don’t have it in me to make things right for anyone else but me and London. I thought I’d lost you. I had to move, I started a new job, and I was told I had cancer. It’s a lot Brody, and I can’t do it anymore. I need to attack this and get better. I’ve had my breast cut open, sewn shut and am now going through an extremely intense course of radiation,” Emma closed her eyes to think and fell asleep. Brody caught her before her head hit the pillow and pulled her into him and laid down with her head on his chest as he cried. Mark walked in the door at three o’clock, “Emma, you need to be at the hospital in an hour for your treatment,” he said, “I can take you, or you can meet me there.” Emma sat up and looked at Brody sadly, “Give me a minute, thank you Mark. I have to get ready.” “I’ll take you, and I’ll help you,” Brody said and stood up. “I don’t want you to. Didn’t I just tell you I couldn’t do this?” Emma said covering herself.
“No, Em you fell asleep,” he said pulling her up and grabbing her clothes. “I don’t want you to see me,” she snapped. “Em I’ve seen all of you. Stop. I’m not going anywhere,” Brody said, pulling her shirt over her head. “No, you haven’t seen the new and improved me,” she sneered at him. “Yes Em, your towel dropped, and I saw you, you’re beautiful. Feet in please,” he said kneeling down holding her yoga pants. “Why are you here?” She yelled. “I love you Em, I’m here because I love you. Can you walk, or shall I carry you?” Brody asked standing in front of her. “I can walk,” Emma slowly walked into the living room, and Mark removed her IV, “Mark, I’ll take that ride please.” “No, you’re riding with me Emma, which hospital?” Brody asked Mark. “No, damn it!” Emma yelled. Brody swooped her up and walked out the door, “Emma shh,” he said and kissed her. Mark and Lila followed. *** While Emma received her treatment Brody stood outside the room starring at the floor. “Brody are you alright?” Lila asked. “Lila I don’t want to talk to you right now, I’m very pissed that she’s gone through all this and you couldn’t even tell me!” He snapped. “Well, be pissed then — you asshole!” Lila snapped. “I will,” he glared at her. Emma was being wheeled out, and she looked up at Brody and scowled. He looked at her and shook his head and followed her out. His car was waiting, and he grabbed her arm and helped her up and into the car. He looked back and saw Lila and Mark standing behind him, “Get your ass in here, Lila,” he snapped. “Fine!” Lila sneered at him, “Mark, will we see you later?” “Of course,” Mark said and hugged her, “Hines, you need to be nice to her.” “You're lucky you’re breathing Doc,” Brody snapped. Mark looked at Emma and smiled, “You need to rest, one more day okay, and this is done. I’ll be over in a few hours.” “Thank you so much Mark, for everything,” Emma smiled politely. “Anything for my favorite patient,” he said and winked. “You're pushing it, asshole,” Brody said under his breath. Mark laughed as he shut the door. “Brody,” Emma said. “I’m right here Em,” he said and grabbed her hand lovingly. “I need you to let this be, I can’t do this with you anymore,” Emma said sadly. “Well let me think about that,” he said, and sat back still holding her hand, “Nope...sorry Emma. But that’s not going to happen.” Emma began to cry, and he pulled her into his arms and held her. “Lila I’ll be staying at your place until she’s better, can you deal with that?” Lila shot him a dirty look, and he returned it. “She was following my wishes, be nice to her,” Emma snapped. “Fine, sorry Lila,” he managed to say.
*** Emma and Brody laid in bed, she slept as he held her. Her phone rang, and he answered it. “Good afternoon, London,” he said with a smile in his voice, “I’m here, no she isn’t happy with me, but she’ll get over it, no she isn’t mad at you she saves all her anger for me, isn’t that sweet?” He said and laughed. He felt Emma stir and grabbed her cup of water as he held the phone with his shoulder against his ear. “Drink, Em,” he whispered, and she did as he asked, “She’s awake would you like to talk to her? Okay I’ll talk to you soon, I love you too,” Brody handed Emma the phone and looked away. “Hi baby girl... I’m feeling great better every day…Yes, tomorrow night I hope to be home with you...I miss you very much…okay…I’ll pick you up after piano…I love you more…yes we do...you’ve been having nightmares? Okay you don’t have to tell me just sleep good tonight please…no I don’t think that’s a good idea, maybe Grandma could sleep with you…Okay I love you, see ya soon,” Emma hung up the phone and drew her knees to her chest and cried. Brody pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t,” Emma snapped. “Are you feeling up to having a chat Emma?” Brody asked in a deep serious tone. “No, I would like for you to leave, how could you do that to her? She thinks you're some sort of damn hero because she didn’t have a nightmare last night, she wanted you to come stay again. Do you know what you’ve done?” Emma yelled, “Do you?” “Emma I…” Brody began to explain. “And you tell her you love her, what the hell are you thinking? She isn’t a toy Brody. She’s a little girl; she doesn’t need you to confuse her. She can’t handle it, I can’t handle it, and I’m an adult!” Emma yelled weakly. “Are you finished Emma? Are you going to give me a chance to speak?” Brody snapped, “When I showed up at your place last night I expected to find you there, she ran from the car and jumped in my arms, which by the way, when I left here was just fine with you! Emma, she was crying, shaking, scared, and very worried about you. She told me you were sick Emma, she tried to tell me what was going on, and your parents cut her off, she got angry,” Brody laughed, “She even said shit…twice.” “She what?” Emma tried not to smile, but he sensed the amusement in her voice. “You father started to say you didn’t need my shit right now, and your mother stopped him, London just filled in the blank…” Brody said with a smile in his voice. “Twice?” she asked. “Yep, twice. Well then she was angry, you know the way you get with me, and she cried and I couldn’t leave her. My intention was to wait until she did that little shake thing you told me about when she falls asleep, but I laid there and watched her sleep and she looked so peaceful and well, I screwed up and fell asleep. It wasn’t to be hurtful to either of you. I’m sorry,” Brody said and hugged her a little tighter. Emma didn’t reply. She couldn’t. “So then I came here, and well...you know the rest. Emma, please talk to me, please,” Brody said urgently. “You didn’t say it back, or text back and I won’t let myself get in a situation like that, ever again. I’m not angry Brody, I just need you to leave us alone, let us get our lives to the point where they resemble normal. London will always be mine, not for a few months or ten years, forever. I need to be the best me I can be and I knew Troy and I couldn’t be together anymore or I would lose myself and then London would suffer. And Brody, we were together for fifteen years, but I did it. And I know it’s better for her, even though right now she’s scared and having bad dreams,” Emma said trying not to cry, “But you and I Brody, can’t happen. I love her too much to let her be broken again.”
“That Saturday morning when we talked, and I pulled away from you, well...I was scared. I shared more with you in that hour than I’ve ever shared with anyone in my life. I’d just found out about my mother and found my sister. Emma, it overwhelmed me. And yes...I was scared. But I knew I needed to figure it out so that I could return strong for you, and your daughter. I’m sorry that hurt you, and I’m so sorry that my break down or break through as I believed it was, happened when you got sick Em. But you should have told me. I would have never let you go through this alone Em,” he said stroking her hair. “Brody that’s my point, you feel obligated, and you aren’t. I don’t want that for you. I want you to find someone to love and have babies with, and not have to worry about breast cancer or ex- husbands who will always be there. I love…” Emma stopped. “You love me enough to let me go, that’s what you were going to say Emma. Well that’s very noble of you — however, I love you more because I will never leave you; you’re mine forever. When you allow yourself to believe that and stop being so damn selfless you’ll get it. And I’ll be sitting right here. Now take a drink and go to sleep, you need to rest,” Brody demanded and handed her water. Emma took a drink, “It’s not up to you,” she said and handed him back the water and sat up. “Okay, turn and look at me Emma,” he said helping her, “Tell me you’re pissed at me, tell me you hate me or blame me, get it out of your system.” “I was angry Brody, very angry at myself just as much as I was at you. But I stopped being angry. None of this is your fault it’s a wake- up call,” Emma said looking in his eyes. “I’ll never be able to tell you or even put into words how sorry I am Em, but you know it here,” he said and touched her chest. Emma immediately started crying, “Don’t, don’t touch me not there, not ever!” “Emma don’t do that, don’t think for a minute that changes how I feel here,” he said and put her hand to his heart. Emma closed her eyes and let the tears fall and he pulled her onto his lap and cradled her. “You need to sleep, I know that. But do me one last favor,” he said and pulled her chin up, so she was looking at him. He wiped her tears and kissed her gently, “Tell me that you don’t love me and tell me you don’t feel the same way I do about you,” Emma didn’t respond. And he kissed her again. “Sleep now, Emma.” Brody woke up as Emma was getting out of bed, “Do you need something Emma?” he said as he jumped up. “I need a shower,” Emma said softly. “Okay how about a bath? I’ll draw you one, sit please I’ll be back in a minute,” Brody said and kissed her. He ran a bath and added bubbles and lit the candles. “Alright where are your night clothes?” he asked. “In the top drawer, but I can get them Brody,” Emma pouted. He smiled at her, “No I want to. Emma is this right?” he asked holding up a t- shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. Emma blushed, “Yes.” Brody laughed, “Alright then.” “What’s so funny?” Emma scowled. “You should be wrapped in satin bows Emma, not cotton,” he smiled and tried not to laugh. She rolled her eyes at him, and he walked into the bathroom and went to help her out of her shirt and she slapped his hand. Brody gasped and looked at her with a shocked expression. “Did you just strike me?” He asked. “Yes!” She snapped. “You won’t let me help you?” He asked confused. “No, I won’t,” Emma responded, “You should leave.”
“You keep saying that Emma, yet you know I’m not going anywhere,” Brody said and hugged her. “I don’t want you to see, Brody,” Emma said shyly. “Okay for now, but just your breasts right?” Brody asked. “Brody I’m not feeling all that hot lately. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Emma said looking at the ground. “Princess, I didn’t bring the bows with me,” he smiled, “I just want to help you get in the bath, I don’t want you to fall or get hurt,” he said, while pulling her pants down and she closed her eyes. He looked up at her, “Is this alright, Emma?” she nodded her head yes and let out a deep breath. “Emma.” “Brody, I can’t,” Emma said with a shallow breath. “I know, but the fact that you want to is so hot Emma,” Brody said and hugged her. “I’m going to turn around, and you can slip into the tub, carefully,” he whispered in her ear. “Brody,” she stopped and shook her head hoping to snap out of this mood, “Thank you.” “Emma I love you, it’s a privilege to be here,” Brody said and turned around. “Brody damn you,” she moaned. “Get in that bath Emma,” he said through clenched teeth. He heard the water move, “Okay I’m in, could you grab me a wash cloth, please.” Brody grabbed two wash cloths and handed her one as he put the other in the water, “What’re you doing?” “I’m going to help you.” “No, you’re not,” she laughed. He looked at her and smiled, “What?” “You laughed Emma, I haven’t heard you laugh in weeks,” he smiled and looked away. “First I’m going to wash your feet and make my way up to your hair, if it makes you uncomfortable just tell me to stop, I’m going to let you wash your breasts. Just lean back and relax, Em.” Brody sat on the edge of the tub with his back to her and washed her feet. He started at the tips of her toes and carefully washed between her toes. He moved to the pad of her feet and she giggled, he turned around and smiled at her, “Stay still, please.” He moved to her ankles and moved up her calves, gently rubbing them up and down. Emma leaned further back and he saw her toes curl, and he took a deep breath and stopped. He took the other calf and did the same thing and her toes curled again, he looked over his shoulder and her eyes were closed, and she was biting her bottom lip. He stopped and stretched. He took her left leg and slowly moved up behind her knee to her upper thigh and he felt her body tighten, and she whimpered softly. He could feel himself hardening. He finished her right leg, and she whimpered again. “You need a break Em?” he asked in a husky tone. “No,” she said in a whisper. He cleared his throat and stood up, which startled her. “I do,” he said and looked at her. Emma laughed, “I guess so.” “It’s not funny, Emma,” he growled. “Are you embarrassed Brody?” she smiled. “No, you got me hard and worked up, are you embarrassed Em?” “Oh so it’s my fault?” Emma laughed. “Let’s see, your beautiful naked body is lying in a tub full of water, and bubbles with candle light flickering over you,” Brody started. “All of which you did, so I would hardly call that my fault,” Emma smiled brightly. “No, you got me there Em, but as I worked my way up your legs and your whimpering and moaning and your toes are curling, that’s all you,” he said in an accusatory tone. “Then don’t help me,” she snapped as her face turned red. Brody smiled at her, “We aren’t finished yet if you could be so kind as to not moan and whimper
or…” “Breathe Brody — shall I stop breathing too?” “No, not ever.” “Now shut up and wash me,” Emma said and laid back smiling. Brody took a deep breath and began washing her legs, “Brody you already did that spot, time to move up,” Emma smiled. “Emma keep quiet, please,” Brody said shooting her a dirty look. Emma laughed, “You can stop Brody. I can do this, I feel better now.” “You feel better because I’m here Emma — because you know I love you and because you know you love me too.” Brody said and continued to wash her, moving up. He washed between her legs gently, applying the right amount of pressure in the right spots. Emma moaned, and he rubbed a little harder, “Emma I’m going to make you come,” he said as he slowly slipped a finger inside her and she moaned loudly, “Is this alright?” He asked, his voice gruff. “Oh God, yes,” she whimpered. “This is not why I’m here Emma, I’m here because I love you, but you seemed to be happy and I want you to be happy Emma forever, but if you don’t want this just say stop.” “I love you Brody, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” Emma moaned. “I’m going to give you more than you could have ever hoped for in every way,” he said and slipped a second finger into her and moved his hand faster until he felt her body tense up, “Emma I want you to come for me, this is mine all mine, so you need to listen to me and believe me when I tell you I will love you forever, don’t push me away ever again. If I upset you, tell me if you feel me pulling away,” he said slowly pulling his fingers out of her, “Tell me I am, we can be perfect together. We’ll be perfect together.” He moved back into her with more force, “Now come from me Emma, for us, come now,” he said and pressed his thumb down on her sweet spot and her body did as it was told to do. “I love you, Princess.” Emma was completely relaxed for the first time in weeks. She was happy and smiled as her orgasm finally finished. “I love you Brody, I love you more.” “We love each other more Em,” he said and kissed her head. She lay in the bath and he continued to wash her, washing her stomach, and when he got to her right breast he stopped, “May I?” He asked. “No, please not yet,” Emma said sadly. “Okay, can you sit up and let me wash your hair,” Brody said and kissed her head gently. “I’m sorry,” Emma said. “Emma we’ll get there okay? When you’re ready, and don’t be sorry,” Brody said as he rubbed shampoo into her scalp, “Does this feel good or is it too hard?” “It feels good. Brody I owe you one, I would like to…” Emma started. “Emma love, please don’t finish that sentence, you’ll have a lifetime to do that. Besides I need you to eat food and I would probably fill you up, it’s been a long almost three weeks,” he chuckled. “Exactly, I want to Brody, it’s not fair to you,” Emma said sadly. Brody rinsed her hair and put conditioner in her hair, she moaned as he rubbed it in, “Em, right now I need you to be quiet, or I’m going to take you into that room and have my dinner.” “Hmm,” she laughed. “You just wait, when you are feeling better you’re in SO much trouble,” he said and rinsed her hair. “Alright you’re all finished.” He grabbed a towel and helped her up, he looked down and grabbed her bottom, “Lots and lots of trouble,” he said, and she leaned into him, “Em, are you tired?” “No, Brody I’m wet with want for all things you,” Emma said and smiled as she turned around. He gave her a shocked look, cocked his head to the side, and then frowned. He grabbed her clothes and opened the door.
“Off to your room wench, you need your rest, I need you well and wet, understand?” Brody said and kissed her quickly. She sat on the end of the bed, and he put her shirt over her head. He grabbed her panties and she slowly lifted her leg to put her foot through, spreading them enough to give him a peak, he looked up at her, and she raised her eyebrow. “You’re playing with me Emma, and in your condition I don’t want to wear you out,” he spread her legs and licked her, she moaned, he used his tongue and circled her sweet spot, and she began to pant and pull his hair. He nibbled lightly on her inner thigh and plunged his tongue deep into her, and she came again. “So easy to please, wench,” he winked. “Emma?” They heard Lila coming down the hall. He quickly grabbed her panties and wiped them between her legs and bit his lip. He grabbed her pajama bottoms and pulled them up and swiftly placed her on the bed and covered her as the door opened. Lila opened the door and Brody turned away from her. Emma looked and saw his erection and gave him pouty lips, he smiled and bent down and kissed her. “I’m going to shower,” he said and raised his eyebrow, he pulled her panties out of his pocket and dragged them across his nose and Emma burst out laughing. “I won’t be long, I love you Em.” Lila turned back to face Emma, “You look better. Did you two figure it out?” “He did,” Emma said, “And I’m going to blindly follow.” “Emma did you two have sex in your condition?” Lila snapped, “You’re exhausted!” “No, Lila we didn’t have sex,” she said and grinned. “Good, you better wait,” Lila ordered. “I don’t have a choice,” Emma pouted. “Emma, did he turn you down?” Lila laughed. “Well kind of,” Emma smiled. “What’s that mean?” Lila asked. Mark walked in the room and scowled. “Yes what does that mean? You need rest, especially if you think you’re going back to work on Wednesday.” Brody returned with a towel wrapped around his waist drying his hair. “She isn’t going back to work Wednesday,” Brody said giving her a dirty look. “Yes I am. I’m feeling much better now,” Emma smiled, “Only one more day of treatment and I’ll be able to put this all behind me.” “Emma you’re going to need to take it easy for a while. Not exerting any unnecessary effort,” Mark said shooting a nasty look at Brody. Brody laughed, “Doc, she doesn’t even have to move. I’ve got it all covered.” “Brody,” Emma scolded him. “Emma, I won’t put you in any danger this asshole needs to understand that,” Brody glared at him, “Even though I’m confused as to how it’s any of his fucking business!” “Brody put some pants on, and a shirt, now! Then you can come back in here,” Emma yelled. When Brody returned Mark was finishing up with her vitals. “You seem to be doing better Emma, which surprises me,” Brody brushed past him and sat behind Emma on the bed pulling her back so that she rested between his legs against his chest while he glared at Mark. “You look more rested.” Mark started to get the IV ready. “She needs to eat something, that’s probably not helping her appetite at all Doc,” Brody snapped.
“Fluids are more important, and she isn’t drinking enough,” Mark responded in the same tone. “She’s had six twelve ounce cups of water today, she needs food. Em, what sounds good?” Brody asked sweetly. “I don’t know. Soup something with chicken broth, but something with substance sounds good,” Emma smiled up at him. “Well I’m happy your appetite is returning, Lila, could you order something? I can go pick it up,” Mark smiled. Brody was texting, “I’ve got it, already ordered, and they’re going to deliver.” Lila smiled at Emma and shook her head. “Well there are other things I would like to discuss in private with my patient if you could see yourself out for a few minutes,” Mark said trying to dismiss Brody. “Em love...is it alright if I stay?” Brody asked nuzzling his nose into her neck. “It’s okay Mark, I’ve kept enough from him already,” Emma said softly. “Alright so let’s talk about sex,” Mark said sitting on the bed, “Emma it may take your body awhile to desire being touched. Especially your breast. Sexual intercourse could be problematic; physiologically you may hinder the production of lubricant making intercourse uncomfortable.” Emma felt Brody shift, and he held her tighter. “In some cases the patient may not resume sexual contact for up to a year. But some have reported that their desire return as soon as a month.” “Emma you’re not only mysteriously intoxicating in bed, you’re a medical mystery as well,” Brody whispered in her ear. “Is there something you need to say Brody? Is he pressuring you Emma?” Mark snapped. “No, he wouldn’t do that, please go on,” Emma said trying to hide the humor in her voice. “I would suggest you wait at least a week before you try anything that may make you uncomfortable,” Mark suggested. “I have a couple questions Doc; let’s start with what if she wants to have sexual intercourse. Will it slow her recovery?” “No, it won’t slow it unless she feels pressured to have sex and then she could become withdrawn and uncomfortable, the physiological effects could be even more harmful,” he answered. “So if, for instance she’s in the bath and someone is washing her feet and she moans and her little toes curl, and she says she wants to have sex, it should be allowed?” Brody asked and Emma looked down. “I suppose it would be fine, but I would hope that person would exercise caution so that she doesn’t exert herself too much,” Mark replied. “So manual stimulation or oral stimulation leading to orgasm is better than intercourse?” Brody asked. “Yes I would think so,” Mark said his face growing red. “Okay now let’s say she wanted to go down on someone, is that too much exertion?” Brody asked in hopes of making Mark more uncomfortable. “I don’t see why not. However, that is highly unusual for even a healthy woman to just want to give a blow job, unless she felt like she had to please her partner because he was ridiculously insecure, and if that was the case, their relationship wouldn’t last anyway,” Mark said sarcastically. “Let’s say her partner wanted to please her in every way possible and took every precaution to ensure she wouldn’t have to exude any energy at all. I don’t know like tied her up and ravaged her body,” Brody asked and smiled. Emma and Lila both gasped loudly. “Well I’d say if he had to tie her up to get laid that would be enough to make her run and scream for the hills. Very unhealthy need for control,” Mark said cautiously looking at Emma. “What if she wanted him to?” Emma asked, and Lila laughed loudly. Mark looked at Lila.
“Why don’t you two just whip them out and see whose is bigger right, here right now?” Lila laughed and so did Emma. Mark looked confused. “Brody, Mark adores Emma, he’s a good doctor. Mark, Brody’s head up his ass in love with Emma and she’s scared to death of being hurt after her divorce, but she’s madly in love with him too.” “Do you want to fuck Emma, Doc? Do you intend on wooing her and sweeping her off her feet?” Brody asked seriously. “No, Brody I’m actually going to help Emma get well and stay well. My sexual intentions are for her friend,” Mark sneered at him. “Good, glad that’s cleared up,” Brody said, “So now that I don’t want to throw you out the window and I hope you realize I love her, tell me what I need to do.” “Make her happy and not just sexually Brody. Be her partner, not her captor. Hold what’s dear to her just as closely as she does and just love her,” Mark smiled and looked at Lila, “Whip it out and see whose is bigger?” “Well you were both acting like seventeen year old boys!” Lila said defensively and Mark laughed. “What’s this tying her up shit about?” Mark asked. “Oh God, could we please not do this?” Emma begged. Brody laughed, “You are going to eat Princess, and the food is on its way up. Do you want to sit at the table or in bed?” “The table please,” Emma said and stood up. After dinner, Emma and Brody brushed their teeth and went into her room. “You want to call London?” Brody asked. “Yes,” she smiled. “Should I give you a few minutes alone?” Brody said kissing her head. “No stay,” Emma sat and dialed the phone. “Mommy!” London yelled. “London you sound happy,” Emma smiled. “I am because I know he went to see you and you are going to be just fine,” London said laughing. “London I’m glad you are happy, but you need to know I would have been just fine with or without him. I love you, and you love me, you have to remember that okay, life is what you make it. Just like before Brody when Daddy left we were very happy right? And we smiled and laughed all the time, as a matter a fact I think we laughed at least a zillion times a day right?” Emma asked. “Of course Mommy it’s just...I don’t know. I think he makes us even happier, like we match and fit perfectly together,” London said trying to come up with the right words. “We complement each other, or as Brody may say...” Emma started. “We harmonize perfectly, I love you too London,” Brody said. “Your still there?” London asked. “Is there anywhere else I should be?” Brody asked, “Besides with you of course.” “Brody we need to talk in private sometime, okay?” London asked. “What?” Emma laughed, “Are you two ganging up on me?” “I love Brody Mommy, I love you, and I love you with him, that’s all you need to know,” London laughed. “I look forward to it, actually maybe I could cook you and your mother dinner at your place tomorrow, I learned a few things while I was London, some new tricks to impress you with,” he laughed. “Sound like a plan if the warden okay’s it,” London laughed. “London you’re breaking my heart,” Emma said sadly. “I was talking about Grandpa; he was rude to Brody last night!” London snapped.
“Yes well, about last night London,” Brody shook his head no, “Well talk about it when I get home,” she scowled at Brody, “Be nice to Grandpa, he was being protective of me, I love you more London...” “So do I ...” Brody chimed in. “We all love each other more, goodnight love birds,” London said and hung up. Emma and Brody snuggled into bed. “I should have told her a story, damn it,” he sulked. “Call her I’m sure she would love it,” Emma said and kissed him as she rubbed his stomach and laid her head on his chest, “You make me happy...well most of the time, except I do have to say I was livid when you made that crack about child support Brody. I think I’m still mad.” “I was being hurtful because…” Brody began. “I hurt you?” Emma asked. “Yes and we need to figure that out. It isn’t healthy, and I do it often. Not just with you. I need you to know I have a remarkably bad temper,” Emma laughed, “Emma, I’m being serious here,” Brody said honestly. “Brody, I know that, not that it was my first hint but when you threatened to rip Mark’s throat out...well...I kind of got it,” Emma laughed. “I would have you know, that’s the not so funny part to that,” Brody was serious. “Well, we need to work on that too,” Emma said and kissed him again. “You seem at peace Emma,” Brody said hugging her tightly. “You have that effect on me, which has me at a serious disadvantage, you know,” Emma laughed. “Good,” Brody said and rubbed her back. “You like me weak? Is that why you want to tie me up?” Emma asked and looked at him with a great desire for him to answer her truthfully. “They honestly don’t fit together at all. But it’s late, I’m tired, and you have to rest, just trust me Emma I can’t have you any other way but completely. I love you Princess, sleep, now!” he snapped. Emma smiled and fell asleep. Brody lay and waited to know she was asleep and smiled when she shook, just like London had. He got up to use the bathroom and make a few phone calls. When he finished with his calls he went to get a drink. Mark was in his boxers in the kitchen. “So I can’t have sex and you can?” Brody laughed. “Brody I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t react the way I should have to you. I hope you can accept my apology,” Mark said with genuine concern. “Forgiven, I’m sorry as well,” Brody smiled. “Good, I kind of think we will be seeing a lot of each other,” Mark laughed. “So is there anything I can do for her?” Brody asked. “No, she was very fragile and you come here, and she’s already doing much better. Just don’t let her down,” Mark warned. “Alright I need Lila at the top of her game. She’s magic with people and the press, treat her right, Mark,” Brody warned. “I will, as long as she’ll let me,” Mark laughed. “Emma’s asleep; do you think you could put the IV in just to be on the safe side?” Brody asked. “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll do it now,” Mark said. “Alright I’ll be in soon,” Brody smiled. *** “Emma I’m going to put your IV in, just a little pinch okay?” Mark warned. “Where is he? Did he leave, where’s Brody?” Emma yelled still half asleep. “Did you miss me Em?” Brody laughed.
“It’s not funny; don’t do that to me again. Don’t you leave me again,” she cried. “Okay,” Brody said and sat next to her, “I’m not going anywhere.” Emma curled up in his arms and fell asleep. Mark looked at Brody and shook his head slowly back and forth. Brody took a deep breath and sat against the headboard stroking her head and back. *** Emma woke feeling much better than before. “Good morning,” Brody said looking down at her. “Would it be alright if I used the bathroom?” Emma laughed, “Of course.” Mark walked in and took out the IV. “Wow when did you put that in?” Emma asked “About midnight,” Mark smiled, “Look at you all bright eyed. Last day of treatment Emma, and then never again, ok?” “Of course, hey you’re certainly good at the IV thing I didn’t even wake up,” Emma said holding the gauze tightly to her arm to stop the bleeding. Brody walked in, “You woke up, to yell at me,” he said and bent down to kiss her. He sat and looked as she took the gauze off, “Much better, you do kind of resemble a heroin addict,” he laughed. “I didn't yell at you,” Emma said looking at her arm, “Yeah, that’s kind of gross huh?” “You yelled at me Em. I kind of liked it. You told me I could never leave you again. Which makes me wonder how that’s going to work tonight,” Brody said getting up to get his clothes. “Did I?” she asked. “Yes Emma, you did,” Mark laughed, “I think you like him,” He winked, “See you in an hour, don’t be late,” he said to Brody. “I’ll have her there, thank you Doc,” Brody said and smiled at him. “Wow, did you guys make up?” Emma smiled and stood. “Yep, for you — anything. Plus it helped that he was sneaking out of Lila’s room,” Brody said, and his jaw dropped in mock shock. Emma smiled, “I love you.” “You better,” Brody smiled. Emma scowled at him and walked to the dresser to grab her clothes. “Emma love, I was being silly. I love you more,” he said reaching around from behind and kissing her neck. “Sorry, I’m moody,” Emma said as she reached up and ran her hand through his hair. “That time of the month?” he laughed. “Brody, do you remember me telling you I had a hysterectomy a few years back, and that I couldn’t have more children?” Emma asked. “Of course,” he said, and kissed her neck again. Emma turned around and rubbed her hand down his stomach and pulled him by the waist band into her and bit his ear and whispered, “That means there is no that time of the month.” Brody’s breath snagged, “Ever?” “No, not ever,” she kissed his chest and rubbed her hand slowly down him and she felt him harden, she squeezed him hard, and he jumped, “Don’t joke when I say I love you, it pisses me off.” Emma let go and started to pull away, he pulled her tightly to him, “I think I like you pissed off.” She laughed out loud, and he smiled, “Which one of us is going first?” “You were scrubbed down last night Em, why not wait until tonight?” Brody winked. “I’ll be home tonight Brody,” Emma said. “Yep, I’ll be there too Emma, you told me I could never leave you again so I won’t. Be back in ten
minutes,” he yelled and walked back in. “It’s okay if I shower right? I mean technically I’m not leaving you,” he winked. “Emma, how will your boss feel when I come to work with you tomorrow?” he laughed walking down the hall. Note to self never scream don’t stop while having sex, Emma thought and smiled thinking about sex with him.
CHAPTER TEN Brody’s car pulled into the driveway, Emma was asleep on his lap. He didn’t want to wake her, so they sat until London ran out and opened the door. “Hello London,” Brody whispered and patted the seat next to him. London jumped in and sat quietly next to him, “I’ve missed you.” “I’ve missed you and Mommy too, is she still tired?” London asked, “You can give it to me straight, I can handle it.” Brody chuckled, “She’s just resting, she seems much better than when I first saw her.” “Good because I was scared Brody, really scared,” London said sadly. “Well I understand that. I was too, but I talked to her doctor and I know she’s the strongest person I’ve ever met. Do you know she could have done this over seven weeks, and only three times a week and she decided on the harshest treatment plan so that she could be here for you? That’s how much she loves you London, so much that she’ll do anything. You’re her happy place. With you is where she wants to be,” Brody kissed her head, and London leaned into him. Caroline opened the door and smiled at them, “Welcome home,” she said as she snapped a picture. Brody smiled, “Thank you.” “London why don’t you come in and help me set the table?” Caroline smiled. “May I stay here until she wakes up please?” London asked respectfully. Caroline smiled and nodded her head yes and shut the door. “We might have to wake her up soon, she’ll be upset,” Brody kissed London’s head. “Hey,” Emma smiled and looked up at London. “Hi Mommy,” she smiled. “That’s all I get?” Emma sat up and hugged her daughter, “I’ve missed you all the way to the moon and back.” “Well I’ve missed you half way to heaven and back,” London replied. “Only half way?” Emma asked curiously. “Yep,” London said as her bottom lip quivered, “I don’t want you to get all the way there Mommy.” Emma held her tighter as she cried, “Oh London, I’m not going anywhere, not for a very long time.” “Pinky promise Mommy?” London asked sobbing. “Of course London,” Emma said holding her face in her hands and kissing it all over. London laughed and looked at Brody, “Oh, sorry.” “No, I feel honored to be here London. That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful,” Brody said looking at her in awe. “Alright you two let’s go eat—I’m hungry!” Emma announced and scooted off his lap stopping to whisper in his ear, “Thanks for the seat,” and kissed him quickly. “Nice to see you again Brody have a seat right here,” Caroline pointed to the chair next to Henry. “Hello Brody,” Henry said looking over his reading glasses. “Hello Henry, nice to see you,” Brody smiled. “Uh huh,” Henry said as he continued reading. “Hi Daddy.” “Hello Princess,” Henry said and stood up and hugged her and spun her around, and Emma laughed. Brody smiled at their interaction, and Caroline noticed that he was pleased. They ate dinner, and Henry watched the way Brody looked at his daughter. Brody walked over with
Emma and London so that London could get ready for bed. He helped tuck her in and kissed her goodnight. London had asked to sleep in Emma’s bed with her. Brody fell asleep on the couch waiting for Emma to come out. He woke up when Caroline walked in. “Are they sleeping?” Caroline whispered. “I think so,” Brody said sleepily and sat up. “I brought over some fresh sheets and a blanket if you would like to sleep in the spare bedroom, I’ll make up a bed for you,” Caroline offered as she walked in the spare room. “Let me do that,” Brody smiled. “Brody, do you love my daughter?” Caroline asked. “More than I thought possible,” he said as he tucked in a corner of the sheet. “What are your intentions?” “They’re simple; I don’t ever want to be without her. I love her. I’m the person I know I’m supposed to be with her,” he laughed and shook his head, “I want to spend forever with her, after a little over a month I already know that.” “Okay, you do know you’re going to have to warm Henry up to the idea, right?” Caroline snickered. “Yes, about that, any tips?” He asked. “She’s his princess, Brody,” Caroline smiled. “We may be at odds with that one; I’ve called her Princess for over a month now. She never mentioned that was her Dad’s pet name,” Brody smiled, “Do you think we could arm wrestle over it?” “You could try,” Henry said walking in with pillows. “I’m sorry, sir,” Brody said as he sat down. “So you want to arm wrestle over my Princess?” Henry said giving him an intimating glare. “No, sir, I want you to like me. To trust me with your daughter, I want you to know I’m in love with her, and I would like to marry her when she’s ready, preferably soon. I want to start forever with her,” Brody looked up at him. “I see, and you think you’re ready for that responsibility? Taking care of my daughter and her daughter, keeping them safe and happy? You’re a musician…how is that family friendly?” Henry was interrogating him. “That’s enough Henry,” Caroline said soothingly. “I’ll ask her and she will accept. We love each other,” Brody said looking him in the eye, “Now if you will excuse me I need to make sure that Emma has a drink.” Carolina looked at Henry as Brody left the room, “She loves him, you need to accept that.” *** Emma felt herself being lifted out of bed; she opened her eyes and smiled, “Hello Music Man, did you miss me?” “Of course,” he smiled and kissed her head, “You need to drink.” Brody handed her a glass of water as she looked at him smiling, “I also need a bath, and you’re going to give me one.” “Oh am I now? Drink up Em. You’re insistent on going to work tomorrow, so you need to rest, understand?” “So I should go un-bathed?” Emma scowled. “No, but you need to take a quick shower and get yourself back in your bed. You need rest,” Brody took her empty glass into the kitchen. “I need you, I want you, and if you won’t have sex with me for a week I want you in my mouth,” Emma stood up and walked towards him. “Em, not tonight, okay? I want you healthy and rested,” he kissed her.
She reached down and grabbed him, “And I want you in my…” Henry cleared his throat loudly, and he sat up. “Daddy, what are you doing here?” “I’m sleeping on the couch to make sure Brody behaves himself, I guess I needed to be more concerned about you,” Henry scolded, “Go take a shower Emma and get into bed, alone!” “See you in the morning,” Brody smiled and kissed her cheek. He looked at her and his eyes widened, and he made a face that said, uh oh busted. “Daddy I’m grown woman…” “Get your ass in the shower, Princess,” Henry said sternly. Emma stomped into the bathroom, and Brody walked past Henry, “Goodnight, sir.” “My name is Henry use it. Troy’s only breathing because of London. If you hurt my daughter, I will hurt you. But you have my permission. When were you thinking of doing this?” Henry asked looking up from his paper. “Tomorrow night,” Brody smiled. “Make it hearts and flowers, she deserves nothing less. And remember I’m sleeping right here,” Henry said and laid down. “Thank you so much, Henry. Good night,” Brody said and walked into his room. *** Brody woke to London giggling, “You know, I could get used to waking up to that sound,” he smiled opening his eyes. Brody reached for her to tickle her. London dove on him and hugged him. He looked up and Emma stood in the doorway watching them with a smile on her face. He winked at her, “Good morning Emma, did you sleep well?” “I did, and you?” “Well you know,” he said and stood up. “I’m going to drop London off at school, and head in to work. Will I see you tonight?” Emma asked. “Give me fifteen minutes and we can drop her off together, and I’ll drop you at work,” he smiled as he walked by. *** “You do know I’m perfectly capable of driving,” she said when London was walking into the school. “Are you grumpy this morning Emma?” Brody laughed. “No,” Emma said and looked out the window of the black Limo. Brody reached for her hand and kissed it gently, “I love you Emma, tell me what’s upsetting you.” “Nothing.” “Are you not feeling well?” He asked moving next to her and feeling her head. “I’m fine,” Emma said moving away from him. “Em come now tell me, is it me, am I smothering you?” Brody asked nervously. “It’s definitely you and you can’t say things like that,” Emma said and threw her head back in frustration. Brody thought about what he had said and looked at her. Her face was flush, and she squirmed in her seat, “Emma, you miss me?” “Stop, please. Just don’t touch me,” Emma said sadly. “Emma, come here,” he pulled her closer, “You need to come Emma?” “Brody, please don’t say things like that,” Emma murmured softly.
“Be quiet please, and stay very still,” he whispered and kissed her neck as he pulled her onto his lap. “I like the skirt, but these need to go,” he said and ripped her underwear, Emma gasped, “Shh,” he said running his fingers lightly over her. “Emma you’re wet for me, see what I can do for you, just the thought of my fingers here,” he said and slowly pushed into her, she whimpered. Brody closed the privacy glass and turned up the radio, “You still need to stay as quiet as you can, but Clive can’t see or hear us. It’s just you and I Emma and I’m going to make you come all the way to work,” Emma pushed into his hand, “Be still Emma,” he moved his fingers, and he could already feel her body tighten, “So soon Emma? Should I make you wait?” “Brody, please,” she said and moved her hips to him. He removed his fingers and kissed her. He pulled back and licked his finger, “You taste so good Emma,” he said and slipped his finger back into her, and she moaned loudly. He pulled it out and rubbed it across her bottom lip, “See how you taste, I can’t get enough of it, I need to lick you, suck you, and I want you to come for me. I want to taste you,” he said as he slid two fingers in her. Emma moaned loudly and tossed her head back. She was on the edge and he started to withdrawal, and she grabbed his hands and pushed into him. “Okay Em, you need me, tell me.” “Brody I need you, I love you, and I want to come for you please, Brody,” she panted. “Emma I love you and I want you to come for me, Come now!” Brody whispered loudly in her ear and moved faster and harder in and out of her until he felt her body relax. She tried to pull back, and he continued to move his fingers. He laid her down and moved between her legs, “I can’t wait for you to come again I want to lick you dry. Come, baby...I want all of you.” When she was finished, she sat up and looked at him, “Brody.” He smiled, “I know Emma, rest now please.” “I need you, I need to feel you — please,” Emma pleaded. He smiled and kissed her head, “Drink this water Em.” “I want you to feel as satisfied as I do right now, let me...” He smiled, “You can please me tonight love, okay? Now rest until we get you to work.” “I need you now please,” Emma said and straddled his lap. “Emma not now,” Brody moaned. “But I...” Emma started. “Emma, I want nothing more than to tie your hot wet ass up in bows right now and fuck you so hard you can’t walk for a week, I’m doing this for you. You need to stop now. I’ll take care of this,” he said and shoved her hand down his pants. “You feel how bad I want you?” “Brody,” she moaned and gently took hold of him. “Emma, I need you to want this every single day, every minute. I want you to think of how hard I am for you. I need you desperately right now, but you need to rest. I won’t let you until I know you’re ready. Until I know you can handle the three weeks’ worth of need for you that I’ve been denied,” Brody said as his hand worked up to her right breast, “And this is mine, and when you’re ready so is this,” he said and gently rubbed his finger across her shirt over her left breast. “I want all of you forever. I want you to know that I’ll make sure you’re taken care of and loved and fucked thoroughly every time you need me. I’m denying myself to take care of you Emma, and I want you so bad, it’s painful. That is how deep my love for you is.” “I’m so sorry,” Emma said and started to cry. “Don’t do that Em, don’t be sorry...I’m not. When you’re truly ready we’ll both know, alright? I promise you when that happens, you’ll never be sorry again. I need those ripped panties, I brought you another pair,” he said and reached in his leather bag, “They kept me company for three weeks, and yes they’re clean, I saw to it myself,” he said and licked his lower lip. Emma looked at him and gasped as he put her feet through the leg holes. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Emma we’re perfect for each other, and yes you do deserve all I’m going to give you. I know I won’t ever tire of you,” he smiled, “I hope you feel the same. We’re here love, can I come by for lunch?” he smiled devilishly. “I would love to say yes, but I don’t think I could handle it, I think work is going to be the best place for me to rest, because when I’m with you...I can’t think about anything but how you make me feel. And I’m not just talking physically Brody Hines, you make my head spin,” she quickly kissed him and hopped out the door, “I love you more,” she said and shut the door. Emma’s phone chimed while she was on the elevator, a text from Brody. - we love each other more…MM - so sweet…Em - I wouldn’t want you upset all day, last time I didn’t return with the proper response you were a little upset. I don’t want you to be upset with me. And I don’t think it’s possible for you to love me more, just saying. I’ll have your lunch delivered. Don’t respond I have control issues and must have the last word. All my love…MM - Oh Brody, you can’t control everything…Em - Is that a challenge? ...MM - Sure is…Em - You will be in trouble someday very soon…MM - Not if I get you first, I love you, going to work now. All hot and bothered with visions of bows dancing in my head…Em *** Emma was glad to be back to work, but even happier that the day had ended. She walked out of her building after work and her phone chimed, a text from Brody - Emma, my car is there I had some things to wrap up. Go pick up London; I made an appointment for you both at the spa for manicures and pedicures. I should be there when you’re finished, I love you…MM - UUGGHH I’ve thought about that car ride all day, maybe I can take care of myself on the way to pick up London, never tried that before…Em - Don’t you dare, they’re all mine…MM - How about a picture now? ...Em - Emma right now I need to wrap up a few things, and you’re distracting the hell out of me…MM - I’m going to take you in my mouth and suck you so hard…Em - Emma please love, I don’t have time for this right now…MM - And then I’m going to let you watch as you come in my mouth…Em - Just so you know I’m at your place, and your mother is baking cookies, me
walking around trying to hide a hard on is not an easy task...MM - Silly boy you gave me a toy. Who was that for? …Em - You’re not talking to a boy Em, and that was for me when we Skype, it better be unused…MM - You better ask Lila, I sent it with the other gifts…Em - I’ll be stopping by to pick those things up and tossing that one. How wet are you right now? ...MM - None of your business, if you had come pick me up it wouldn’t be a question…EM - Oh Emma, your being defiant…MM - How hard are you right now? ...Em - I’ll show you soon enough…MM - Well then I’m going to have your driver stop and pick you up on my way to get London …Em - Please not now, I’m trying to bond with Henry. Hoping he might like me someday…MM - Fine you win, I love you…Em *** Emma and London got out of the car feeling very pampered. Emma wondered where everyone was. They walked up the stairs into the apartment. It was lit up with candles, flowers, orchids, and tulips everywhere. Silk bows adorned everything they could, all silver and white. “Mommy did you do this?” London gasped. “No,” she said when she could finally speak, “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” “Well I have. Two things actually,” Brody walked out of his room. He was dressed in a grey suit and black neck tie, “London I would like to steal you for a moment, would you come with me?” Brody winked at Emma who was still looking around at the beautiful room full of flowers, and took London’s hand and lead her into her room. “London I have a very important question for you. A few actually, I would like to ask you how you feel about some things, ok?” London stood with her eyes wide open and looked nervous as she pushed her long black hair out of her face and nodded her head yes. “Do you know how much I love you and your mother?” She nodded her head yes and smiled shyly. “Do you think you feel the same way about me?” “Yes.” she answered. “Well, how would you feel if I asked your mother to marry me?” “I would be happy,” London smiled. “Okay because that would mean I’m marrying into your family so technically I would be marrying all of you. And since you are my favorite person in the family I want you to know how much you mean to me. So,” he said getting down on one knee, “I have one last question for you: London Fields will you please
accept this ring?” he smiled and pulled out a small box and opened it revealing a small platinum ring with a beautiful diamond set in the band, “do you accept London?” She laughed and hugged him tightly, “Yes!” Brody hugged her and placed the ring on her finger. “Now if your Mom says yes I won't feel so sick to my stomach,” he said and took a deep breath. London laughed, “You’ll be just fine, take a deep breath and think about something that makes you happy, that's what I do. Thank you so much, Brody.” “Thanks London, that helped a lot. Your grandma is waiting for you, if you could give me a few moments alone with your Mom I would appreciate it,” Brody said walking out the door with her hand in his, “off you go now.” “Brody, is everything alright?” Emma said searching his face. “Yep, could you have a seat please Emma,” he took her hand and led her to the chair. He grabbed his guitar and started to play. “I wrote this song the day after our last awkward phone call a few weeks ago while I was in London. I want to play it for you if I could,” Emma smiled, and he played and sang. Wrapped in Silk Soft caramel fanned across my breathless chest, The scent intoxicating as the warmth of her breath. You’re wrapped tight around me, and I’m wrapped in you, A lifetime like this makes my heart, not so blue. When I sit alone it’s your smile your heart your love I miss, A deep burning desire, the taste of your kiss. I close my eyes, and I feel you beneath me, Holding me high you never deceive me. Wrapped in my arms, my heart feels so full. Wrapped in my heart. Loves light never dulls. Wrapped in silk, as your body should be always, Wrapped in my kiss, I could live on your love every day. Wrap you in silk from head to toe, Wrap you in my love topped with soft silky bows. More precious to me your smile each day, The roads once traveled are now far away, the wounds unaware for your love they have healed, My need for you I have never known the confusion it caused not even real. Years of pain my heart hid in fear, Weeks of a need unfamiliar brought down to tears. I tried to let go, willed myself to run Chains were let loose replaced with smooth silk, without you could have never been done I won’t let go I won’t let go Forever is not long enough. I promise you my heart a life without pain I promise you a life where all dreams come true if you’ll say the same, Wrapped in silk, wrapped in silk, forever with me wrapped in your silk.
He looked at her the entire time and when he finished she stood up and walked over to him and kissed him and grabbed his guitar and put it on the floor. “Did you like it, Emma?” Brody chuckled. “I loved it, and now I want you,” Emma loosened his tie as she kissed him straddling his lap. “Emma I can’t wait to have you, but I need to ask you something first,” Brody pulled back, “Could you get up for a minute, love?”
“No,” she kissed him again. “Alright then, can you give me a second?” Brody said, “Please — I have something to ask you.” “Can it wait an hour?” she asked unbuttoning his shirt, and kissing his neck. “Not really,” he moaned. “Sorry, control freak, I need you and London’s with Mom,” Emma said frantically undoing his pants and kicking off her shoes. “Emma I think you should…” Brody started as she pulled up her skirt and lowered herself slowly onto him. “You still want to talk Brody,” Emma whispered in his ear. “Actually, I really have to, it shouldn’t take long, fuck Emma you are so hot,” Brody said pushing further into her as he reached in his pocket and grabbed the ring. “Oh God,” Emma moaned. “Emma slow down give me a second please, Emma, please,” he moaned and grabbed her hips stopping her, “Emma I had this whole thing planned, and this was not part of the plan but fuck, you’re amazing. Marry Me, Em. Please Marry Me,” he showed her the ring. “Fuck me Brody and then we’ll talk,” Emma kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stopped moving; she put her head on his shoulder and started to cry. “Emma,” Brody smiled as he sat back. “Give me an answer please.” “Boy did I screw that up,” she said as he wiped the tears off her face, “I’m sorry.” “Sorry for what Emma?” Brody asked searching her eyes. “This was all so beautiful, and I wanted to win a stupid game,” Emma laughed. “Emma, this is actually pretty perfect, I’m shocked that I proposed when I was deep inside you however, I’m still waiting for an answer Emma.” “Sorry, I’m just shocked and embarrassed. I ruined this, I’m so sorry,” Emma said. Brody shifted nervously, and Emma moaned, he laughed and kissed her softly, “Do you need more time Emma? If you do I understand. I knew you might think this was all too soon, and I can give you as much time as you need, I know without a doubt that I’ll love you until the world stops spinning, so if it’s time you need I’m not going…” “Yes,” Emma hugged him. “Yes what? You need more time?” “I’ll marry you — of course I’ll marry you,” Emma kissed him, “But not because of cancer or...” Brody stood abruptly and walked with her still on him to her bedroom. He pulled his pants off. “Your parents and London are waiting for us, so I’m going to do this quickly, on all fours love.” Brody slowly entered her and wrapped his arm around and used his hands on her sweet spot, “This has nothing to do with cancer Emma, I ordered this ring the Monday after I left, I paid for it and picked it up the night before I left to return to you,” he started moving faster, and she moaned. “This is because you are mine and I’m yours forever Emma because I love you,” he moaned and she tensed up, “Come Emma, it’s been awhile and I need to fill you, come now!” he instructed, and her body did as he asked. He continued as he held her up and finally finished. “Brody, are you sure?” Emma asked softly. He laid on the bed and pulled her over to him, “I am Emma, are you?” “I need to show you something,” she said and slowly, nervously pulled up her shirt, “Can you deal with this?” He bent over and kissed her gently and then kissed her breast, “You’re going to kill me Emma,” he said and sucked gently on her nipple, “Of course, honestly Emma it’s not even that noticeable and they taste exactly the same. Trust me they have the same kind of effect on me as they did before,” he smiled and
looked down. “Thank you Emma. So much. I love you and will forever.” “You have no idea how much you mean to me.” “I do Emma, because if it’s half as much as you mean to me we are good...so good,” Brody said as he pulled her up, “Thank you Emma, for saying yes and for trusting me with you and London, and allowing me to see what I already knew was perfect,” Brody said and gently touched her breast. Emma stood looking at him, how could he love me? How could this beautiful man love me? She thought and stared at him. “Emma we have to go love.” *** They walked in the kitchen and her parents and London were standing there. “So — let’s see the ring!” Caroline yelled. Brody looked at Emma and laughed. “Mommy you didn’t say yes?” London asked and started to cry. “Yes I did London, I just um,” she started and looked at Brody for help. He gave her a look egging her on and laughed, “She wanted to see you first, honestly, and I think she wanted to know that you had said yes as well.” London held up her hand, “See Mom, of course I would say yes when he asked me if he could marry you!” “Well then Emma, can I put it on you now, please?” Brody asked and knelt, “Marry me, Em?” “Of course.” She smiled as he put the ring on her finger. Her mouth dropped slightly when she finally looked at it, and tears flooded her eyes. The five carat princess cut emerald ring with baguettes wrapped around the platinum band was so shiny and beautiful. “Brody,” she whispered in shock. “It matches your eyes Emma, the ones I get lost in every time I look at you,” Brody said and swallowed hard, “Look inside Emma.” Emma looked at the inscription WE ARE EACH OTHERS FOREVER 10 X 10. “Brody, I can’t even put the words together,” she said and let him put it back on her finger, “I love you. Oh God, I love you so much.” They hugged, and they held each other, completely lost in the moment. Emma pulled back and looked at him, and laughed as she shook her head, “I love you, Brody. Have I said yes enough, I mean after the stunt I pulled, have I said it enough?” “It will never be enough,” he laughed, “Will you marry me?” “Yes,” she giggled. “Okay now more serious this time: Emma, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Brody said with a false seriousness. “Yes,” she jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him. “Come now Emma, you can do better than that. Marry me, Emma?” “Yes and any other question you have for me, yes!” She said and bit his neck lightly, “And Brody, don’t say that again unless you mean it,” she laughed. “Say what?” he asked laughing. “Come now Emma,” she whispered in his ear and they both laughed. “This is wonderful, and all, but dinner is going to get cold,” Henry said dryly. “Oh wow — sorry Dad, Mom, and London,” Emma said, “London, are you sure?” “Mom seriously, I love him, check out my bling!” She laughed. “London, did you thank Brody?” Emma asked in a motherly tone. “She said yes, that is thanks enough,” Brody smiled at London.
“Manners are very important,” Emma said and shot him a look. “I said ‘thank you’ Mommy,” London laughed. “Did she?” Emma asked Brody. “Of course she did Emma—you’ve done a wonderful job raising her,” Brody chuckled. “Did you honestly have to buy such an expensive ring for a seven year old?” Emma asked, and he laughed, “What’s so funny?” “London will be my stepdaughter, Emma,” Brody smiled, “If she wants something all she needs to do is ask.” “And then you’ll ask me and we’ll discuss it, right Brody?” Emma locked eyes with him. “Yes love,” Brody smirked. “So when will the wedding be, Mom?” London asked. “We haven’t talked about it yet,” Emma laughed. “Well I think it should be soon,” London said and looked at Brody. “I think so as well, maybe this weekend?” Brody said and smiled. “That’s perfect!” London smiled. “London, you get to see your father Saturday, remember?” Emma said and let out a big breath. “Well then next weekend or Halloween. A sleepy hollow wedding in costume Brody!” London cheered. “Wow, that sounds like fun,” Brody laughed. “Where will we live?” London took a bite of her soup. “Well, I have a few homes I would like to look at, I thought we could go tomorrow and check them out,” Brody told her. “You know you can stay here right?” Henry said his eyes fixed on Brody. “Thank you Henry, that is very kind,” Brody looked at Emma. She looked up at him, and he winked. She looked back down and tried not to smile. Brody and Emma got London to bed and sat on the couch. “Can we talk about a few things?” “Anything you want,” Brody smiled. “Do we need a house right now — I mean is it that important to you?” “I thought it would be to you,” Brody said confused. “Well...” she began. “Okay Em we’ve talked about this before, please just say what’s on your mind, don’t over think or try to take care of me, just tell me what you want to say,” Brody smiled gently as he took her hand. “Okay, I don’t want to move London again, she just started school here,” Emma quietly said avoiding eye contact, “And my mom works at her school and I just feel like she’s safe there. This was a big move for her, and for me.” “What else?” he asked and lightly kissed her hand. “Well I need to tell Troy, not to ask his permission, but tell him. God Brody — he doesn’t even know about the cancer,” Emma said and sat back closing her eyes. “And you feel he needs to know everything,” Brody stated. “He’s her father Brody, I can’t change that, ever,” Emma spoke finally looking into his eyes. “Alright I understand. I don’t like it, but I knew all that before I asked you to marry me,” he said and pulled her closer to him. “I want to go tell him with his therapist, and not with London. I want him to have a couple of days to process it before he sees her. I just think it’ll be better for both of them,” Emma stopped and waited for him to respond and he didn’t, “Please don’t shut down, please talk to me.” “I’m just mulling it over in my head, I’m not shutting down,” Brody thought out loud.
“If Troy’s aware before London goes he won’t be reactive when she’s there. She won’t see his anger or hurt or whatever it is he might feel at first. I just want him to have a heads up, you know?” Emma hoped he would see her side. “Alright, I understand. Why don’t you go Thursday after work?” Brody suggested. Emma’s gut reaction was to tell him she didn’t need him to tell her how to do it. It was going to be difficult having someone around that was a true partner and not just part of the furniture. Emma loved the way Brody was with London, and she wanted to be sure to not hinder or weaken that relationship. “Would you ride with me?” Emma asked. “I mean, if I set it up and you’re available, would you like to go?” “Yes and I’ll make sure that I’m available,” Brody said, “Emma, are we finished, is there anything else pressing?” “Yeah, I kind of what to know what homes you had wanted to look at,” Emma asked quietly. “To see if I had considered London in this decision?” “Well, yes and I want you to know how perfect it was that you asked her before asking me to marry you. It was so amazing...you are absolutely amazing,” Emma said trying to make up for doubting him. “All the homes I want to see are a little bit closer to the city, by maybe ten miles, all still in the same school district. With one exception, I know that she could still attend school there I would just pay tuition, and I could take her to school every day,” Brody smiled pleased with himself. “I love you. I’m sorry I asked, I just have to think of her in every decision I make,” Emma said looking at him. “I know, just know I’m doing the same thing Em, okay?” Brody asked. *** Emma sat in the small office waiting for Troy and his therapist. Her stomach was in knots. Regardless of what he’d put them through over the last eight years of their marriage she still didn’t want him to be hurt. Troy was here getting help for his alcoholism and trying, and now she was about to set his recovery back. “Emma,” Troy smiled and hugged her when he walked through the door. “Hello Troy,” she smiled politely and returned his hug coldly, just like his hugs over the past several years. Joe Login smiled at Emma. He was about five foot ten and had very short black hair and kind brown eyes. “Troy, have a seat. Emma, it’s truly nice to put a face to a name I’ve heard a lot over the past few weeks.” “Thank you for taking the time to do this for me,” Emma said returning his smile. “Nice ring, Emma.” Troy said. “I guess we should just jump right into this,” Joe gently acknowledged. “Brody’s asked me to marry him Troy…and I accepted.” Emma blurted out as her face reddened. “Okay,” Troy said trying to hide the anger or sadness in his voice. “How do you really feel about that?” Joe asked. “I guess I knew it was coming but not this soon. I worry about what he’ll be like as a constant influence in London’s life, and Emma’s. I know I have no right to ask her to wait,” Troy said looking at Joe. Wow, my ex-husband expressing feelings. Like he used to, like the man I married, this is not good, Emma thought. “Emma, do you have anything to say?” Joe asked. “He is good to London and me. Troy has nothing to worry about,” Emma said giving him a reassuring
look. “Okay Emma, why so soon?” Troy calmly asked. “It’s just right for us,” Emma said wishing she could figure out how this all happened so quickly. “Okay,” Troy looked lost. “There’s something else Emma needs to tell you,” Joe said looking at Troy and then back to Emma. “London’s coming for a family visit on Sunday, and I want you to know what’s been going on in our lives, everything. Troy you’re her father always and I want you and I to be friends. Maybe not best friends, but I don’t know — we have her, and she’s the most important thing in either of our lives. We’ll forever be bound by that,” Emma said and let out a breath. “I know that now Emma, I wish that I had before. But we can’t change the past, and I understand that now,” he said looking emotionally drained. “Been a rough few weeks?” Emma said and squeezed his hand. “You have no idea.” Troy answered in a distracted tone. “Emma, you have something else to tell Troy?” Joe said redirecting the conversation. “I’ve had a really horrible few weeks as well,” Emma smiled and told him the whole story about the cancer. Emma finally looked up at Troy when she finished. Troy’s face was full of trepidation and his eyes full of tears. “Oh...please don’t do that,” Emma said. Emma remembered the only other time she had seen Troy cry. It was after the premature death of his father while they were at college. They were in his room studying when he received the call that his father had been in an accident and that he had died instantly. It was also the first night Troy and Emma had sex. She realized now that she had done it to try to ease his pain. Troy laughed as he wiped his tears away, “Oh sorry. I forgot, crying does something to you huh, Emma?” “It does, maybe, not in the same way you’re thinking but I don’t want you to hurt.” “Alright then, are you sure you’re ok?” Troy asked sincerely. “Yes, but this made so many things become even more critical to me. If something happened to me, Troy,” she stopped. “You have to stay healthy for her, as healthy as you can anyway. Sober and strong Troy.” “I will. I have one request Emma. I want to speak to Hines,” Troy said, and Emma could tell there was no budging on this one. “Okay, when?” Emma took a deep breath. “As soon as possible,” Troy answered. “Now?” Emma asked, “He’s waiting for me in the car.” “No time like the present,” Troy smiled and looked at Joe shaking his head. *** “Back so soon?” Brody asked, and he stretched stepping out of the car and grabbed her hand, pulling her into him and kissed her. He’s so damn yummy, she thought lost in his kiss. Emma pulled away smiling shyly, “Not really,” she said stepping back and kicking the imaginary stones at her feet. “What is it, Emma?” Brody said cupping her face in his hands. “Troy wants to talk to you,” Emma said still looking down. “Good,” he grinned mischievously. “Brody — can you be nice? He’s trying,” Emma protested.
“I hate him Emma, the way he spoke to you, the way he had absolutely no regard for London’s safety and well- being…” Brody said his eyes were dark and full of hate and disgust. “He’s trying, and Brody, you look so far away right now,” Emma said astonished. “I’m full of anger right now. Let’s go get this over with,” Brody said taking her hand and dragging her behind him. Everything had gone so well with Troy and now Brody’s pissed, actually pissed, what the hell just happened? How am I going to get him to fucking calm down? Why is it my job to make this better for everyone on the damned planet? Emma screamed in her head. Emma released his hand harshly and stopped dead in her tracks. “STOP,” she yelled and stood with her arms crossed in front of her. “Are you alright Emma?” Brody asked and walked back to her feeling her head. Emma let out a deep breath, “I’m doing the best I can...” she started and the dam broke, “I can’t keep trying in vain to make this better for every person in my life, and you are scaring me right now!” Brody looked at her confused and tilted his head as he studied her, “Emma?” “I’ll meet you at the car, I’ll deal with this...this shit!” Emma screamed. Brody jumped when she yelled, “Emma, damn it talk to me. Tell me what you need from me right now because I thought I was doing exactly what you wanted ME TO!” “Fuck you Brody,” she said under her breath looking away. “Excuse me?” Brody asked in shock. Emma looked up at him and Brody’s eyes lit up in amusement, “It’s not funny.” “Emma go sit in the car, I’ll take care of this,” Brody said in his direct tone. Emma laughed, “I don’t think so.” “Go NOW!” Brody snapped, and she didn’t move. Brody quickly swooped her up, tossing her over his shoulder and smacked her ass all in one swift move. She was in the car, and the door shut before she even had time to protest. Emma tried to open the door, and it was locked. “Open the damn door,” she yelled. The privacy window lowered, “Ma’am did you say something, do you need anything? A drink maybe?” Brody’s driver Clive asked. “No, but you can unlock the doors NOW?” Emma snapped. “I’m sorry ma’am, this new car has a security system, I honestly was just looking at the manual trying to read up on it, would you see if you can find it for me please ma’am?” “Sure,” Emma said quickly and grabbed the book looking at the index and thumbing through the pages. She read and found the security system information. She scowled up at him, “Push. The. Button.” “Really is that all there was to it? A button? Could you tell me where that button is ma’am?” Clive asked. “How long have you worked for Brody?” Emma snapped. “Ma’am?” he asked. “I don’t think he would hire an idiot, and I’m very sure you’re toying with me,” Emma said with annoyance in her voice. “No, he wouldn’t. I’ve worked for him for nine years,” Clive answered. “So you know him from England,” Emma asked inquisitively. “Yes, we have known each other for many years,” he smiled. “I should have known from your accent. I’m pissed — let me out now,” Emma stared into his eyes trying to intimidate him. Clive jumped out and opened the door. “Sorry ma’am.” He whispered.
“I don’t believe you, but if you do that again, you will be,” Emma scolded him, and he tried not to laugh. Emma waited as instructed by the receptionist rather impatiently in the waiting room. Joe, Troy, and Brody walked out from his office behind the glass wall. Emma watched as Troy and Brody shook hands and Brody walked out. “What a pleasant surprise,” Brody smiled roguishly and grabbed her hand. Emma pinched his finger, and he laughed a deep mischievous laugh and she threw him a malevolent look. They walked outside and around the corner of the building, Brody grabbed her by the waist and gently pinned her against the brick building, and she gasped. He leaned into her and pressed his nose roughly into her neck and nipped her ear. “I played nice with your ex, Emma. For London and for you,” he said as he kissed her throat, “I will until he fucks up, and then I will destroy him.” He pulled her tightly into him, “You were supposed to wait for me in the car.” “Is that why he locked the fucking doors?” Emma yelled. “Get your hot little ass back in there now,” he said and rubbed his hand down her spine and squeezed her roughly on the ass. Emma started to argue and he kissed her hard on the mouth. “You’re making a scene.” “You need to come Emma,” he breathed in her ear and grabbed her hand pulling her behind him. She had to walk fast to keep up with his long strides. I need to come? The audacity of this man is crazy, he makes me crazy! And I want him which makes me just as damn crazy, she thought. Not going to happen I’m not an on demand kind of girl! Brody slid in beside her and tried to grab her to place her on his lap. “Oh no,” she said pulling away, “I’m pissed at you!” “Emma, if you don’t get back here I’m going to come after you,” he said in a dark intimidating tone. “You need to listen to me...” Emma began, and he laughed a deep interrupting laugh and jumped up and straddled her legs and kissed her. Emma pushed him and started to cry. “I don’t need to listen to you, I already know Emma, exactly what you need. In here,” he said touching her chest and then wiped her tears. “And you know it, so stop please. Stop trying to control everything, when I know damn well that’s not what you want. You’re calling the shots Emma; I’m listening and doing exactly what you need me to. You need to trust that I’m going to give you exactly what you need.” “Well I don’t need what you suggested,” Emma snapped. Brody smiled and looked her up and down, “Okay then,” he said sliding off of her lap. He grabbed his iPad and began working on something, and she sat tapping her foot still annoyed. They drove for fifteen minutes, and she looked at him. “Are you going to tell me what happened?” Emma sneered. “No Em,” he said and continued typing, “you need to trust that I did what you wanted, he was still breathing wasn’t he?” “Oh that’s really mature,” she snapped. Brody bit his lip and tried not to smile and said nothing. “Are you going to act like this the entire ride home?” “Are you?” He asked and raised his eyebrow looking at her. “Yes,” Emma scowled. His eyes twinkled, and he put away his iPad, he closed his eyes and leaned back. She saw a grin creeping across his lips.
“Why are you so damn smug?” “Are you done acting like an errant child Emma or do you need a spanking?” He asked his eyes still closed. She didn’t answer him, and he opened his eyes and looked at her mouth still dropped in disbelief, “Emma, you need something?” No way she thought, no way did I need that, Yes asshole but I will be damned if I’m going to admit it. “Listen to me and don’t say a word. Your nipples are erect and want nothing more than for me to touch them and pull at them and take them in my mouth until your body starts to melt. You’re wet and wild with desire, you may think you’re pissed at me, but you’re not Emma. You are so fucking hot and wet because I took care of something you needed me to, your body belongs to me and wants me so fucking bad it almost hurts. Regardless, you also told me no, and I take that extremely seriously. So as you sit there in flames desiring everything I can give you, you can thank yourself for the letdown,” Brody leaned forward lightly kissing her nose, “No means no, Emma.” “Well obviously yours wants to please mine as well,” Emma said looking smugly at his bulging pants. “I was hard when you walked out of that office building after work Emma, you didn’t need to be sidetracked. I was hard and waiting when you came out of the rehab center, your ex- husband’s needs overshadowed mine, and I know you needed me to make it better for you. My body realized that Emma. When I came out I was hard as soon as you pinched me I knew that you needed to come, but you said no,” she gasped as Brody smiled and looked away. Emma looked down and nervously played with her hands and tapped her foot. “You’re going to be fine, Em,” he said and took her hand, and she let him. She sat waiting for more, and he just sat there, she lightly pinched his hand between her fingers and he looked at her out of the corner of his beautiful blue eyes. “Emma?” “Yes,” she whimpered. “Yes what, Emma?” he asked cautiously. “Yes please,” “Are you quite sure?” He asked and she was on his lap in a spilt second with her mouth on his and grinding in to him. “Alright then,” he lifted her off him. “Please,” Emma whined. He moved his hand up her skirt, and rubbed her inner thigh and she spread her legs wide for him and moaned. He pushed her lacey panties aside and took a deep breath. “So wet Emma, I want you so badly. I want to taste you, to lick you,” he moved two fingers into her and circled her, and she pushed into him. “Please…” “I think you should wait as long as I have,” Brody said and slowly rhythmically pleasured her until she was on the edge and then he would slow down and pull out. “Is this nice Emma?” “No, I want you; I want all of you…” “Then have me you will, all of me, forever Emma?” he asked as he unbuttoned his black jeans and his erection sprang free. “Yes, yes forever,” Emma breathed out deeply as she bit her lip hungry for him. He knelt between her legs, “No I want you, please Brody.” “You first love, this has got to be fast, we are almost at your parents,” he said and winked as he went down and licked her until she was on the edge again and then he plunged his tongue deep in her and she climaxed. He laid her down and slowly entered her. “Aww,” she moaned as his thrust became deeper and harder hitting exactly the right spot.
“Emma come now,” he said with urgency and her body did as it was told and he fiercely rammed into her until he came hard. Emma felt every time he jerked inside of her coming hard as he groaned her name. He laid on top of her both of them panting and trying to catch their breath. “Em we’re almost there, we need to fix you up,” he said as he watched her lying, sprawled out. “I can’t move,” she giggled softly. She felt him start to wipe between her legs. “Brody…” “Shh, I’ll take care of you, I love taking care of you,” Brody said as he cleaned her. “I don’t...” she started. “Emma, when are you going to stop this insolence?” Brody asked and sounded hurt. Emma sat up and looked at him as he looked down. No, no, no, she cried inside, you are hurting him, for what? She wondered. “Now?” Emma asked. He smiled looking down and threw out the tissues and fixed his pants and sat back. “You’re not looking at me because I hurt you,” Emma said and looked out the window. “You’ve had a rough couple weeks,” Brody said, his voice was quiet. “That doesn’t give me an excuse to lash out at you, I...I love you,” Emma said and began to cry “I just...I’m scared, and you’re so damn controlling.” Emma said as he slid closer to her wrapping his arms around her. “I love you, I won’t lose you. I won’t see you hurt. I need to know you trust me Emma. There’s so much more that we need to know about each other, and if I know you trust me, in everything, we’re going to be so damn perfect, so incredible for each other, forever. I know I’ve wanted forever with you from day one, and I fought it. I acted like an arrogant ass at our first meeting at Lila’s; I didn’t want to need you. You’re the one fighting now, and I can promise you I will fight as dirty as I need to in order to keep you,” Brody said through clenched teeth. He held her so tightly it almost hurt. She knew he was scared to let go, and she was scared that he would if she continued to push him away. “Brody, can we look at the houses tonight? The ones you like?” Emma gave up control. “Are you sure?” He failed to mask his excitement. “Yes,” she said and turned and kissed him, “I don’t want to hurt you, and I love you. I want forever with you. You made me a bit nervous when you said there was a lot we don’t know about each other, should I be?” Emma stroked his face. He smiled down at her, “We’re here. Can we save that for another time?” Brody asked and pointed to London running towards the car. “Of course,” she said opening the door and London dove across them. “How was Daddy?” London smiled. “He was great and getting better for you. He also knows that I’m going to marry your mom, and he’s alright with it,” Brody smiled at her. “Good, less I have to deal with,” London said dramatically, and they all laughed. *** “So which one did you like best?” Brody asked Emma and London as the pulled back into her parents’ house. “The last one,” they both said smiling. “It’s furthest away,” Brody reminded them. “Fifteen minutes from here, that’s not bad right Mom?” London asked with wide hopeful eyes. “No, it’s perfect,” Emma said and smiled, “A little big but perfect.”
“Why, is it too big Emma?” Brody asked as they walked in the house. “I want you to make the final choice,” she smiled up at him, “I trust you.” He returned her smile and looked at her and raised his dark thick brow in that way that turned her on. She shook her head and felt her face turn red. “Feels good doesn’t it?” He whispered in her ear. “Yes, and knowing if we hate it, you made the final decision — takes the pressure off. Thanks for that,” she smiled sarcastically. “Hmm,” he said and stared at her until she visibly squirmed. “I’m going to lay with London,” Emma said and quickly walked away. *** “When will it be available…okay I see...I put the offer in Monday what’s the holdup…well could I pay more…I realize it’s only two weeks, but I want it now…fine if that is absolutely the best you can do…if I don’t hear from you by nine in the morning I’ll be using a different realtor,” Brody hung up and growled and ran his hands through his hair. Monday huh? Before I even said yes, oh Brody you’re going to make this so much fun, Emma thought. Emma waited inside London’s room until she heard Brody moving about. He stood at the kitchen sink deep in thought; Emma silently walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his lean and exceptionally defined waist. “Hey London and I were talking, and I think we changed our mind,” Emma said holding him tightly as she lightly covered his back with kisses. His body stiffened, “About what, love?” trying to sound carefree. “The house, I think we liked the first one better. But it’s totally up to you,” Emma said putting her hands lower, gently rubbing the soft hair that lead to her happy place. “Emma,” he moaned and cleared his throat, “Let’s talk about the house some more, come on.” he said grabbing her hand. “Nope, my hands are extremely happy right here,” she lowered them. “Emma,” he growled as she took him firmly in her hand, “Aw damn it, Em,” he said and slowly turned around. “What’s wrong? Something on your mind?” She asked Brody with pouty lips. He laughed, “Emma could you let go for just a few minutes, love?” Brody said taking her hand slowly off of him and closed his eyes as he gently kissed her hands. “The house Emma, what made you change your mind?” “I don’t know...it just seems too vast,” Emma said staring at him. “Okay,” he said and took a deep breath and sitting down in the chair across from her, hands with his elbows propped on his knees his head in his. Emma started to laugh, looking up “What’s so funny, Emma?” “You are,” she smiled. “Really, this is funny?” he gestured over himself. “Yes Brody, are you stuck on that house?” Emma asked smirking. “Well I thought we all were?” He said softly. “Did you think that on Monday when you put the offer in and before you even asked me if I would marry you, and before we even…” Emma shrieked as he grabbed her up and hugged her tightly. “I knew you would love it,” Brody said elated, “And I knew you would say yes.” “Very confident huh? Arrogant maybe?” Emma teased. “After the weekend we spent, I knew you still felt the same way I do, and the house well I knew
London would love it, and I knew you would love it because of that you. Are you mad?” he asked kissing her neck feverishly. “I don’t think you would care either way if I were mad, you would just drive me crazy with desire and make me feel like I’m a fifteen year old irate girl,” Emma said, and he looked surprised and then hurt at what she had said. “Is that how I make you feel Emma?” Brody said with concern in his eyes. “I guess sometimes, well a lot lately. Not before you…left,” Emma said again realizing that she missed how he had been. “I’m sorry, so sorry. I don’t want you to feel that way,” he said and kissed her lightly, “I want you to feel cherished and beautiful, the way I see you, the way I feel about you.” “Okay, I’m sorry,” Emma said looking at her feet, “I’m tired, it’s been a long week.” “May I lay with you until you do your little shake?” Brody said bending his knees so he could look into her eyes, “There you are, stop hiding on me.” Emma smiled and hugged him tightly, “I don’t shake.” “You do, just like London,” Brody said smiling and holding her tighter, “Let’s get you some water, and that dreadful, I mean wonderful green shake your mother made for you, and get you to bed. Then I want to tell you another story.” There you are, right here with me. I adore this Brody, the sweet, kind, and funny Brody. But the controlling arrogant Brody can be so hot too. I wonder if he has mental health issues, Emma thought. “Where did we leave off? Oh yes, since we last left the Princess, her Prince had been chiseling away at her armor. So our beautiful, intelligent, strong, and sometimes stubborn Princess finally saw the Prince for who he truly was…” Brody began. “And which one was this, the sweet, funny, charming, gentle, kind, and loving Prince? Or the arrogant, controlling, sex fiend?” Emma asked smiling up at him. “Well, which do you prefer?” Brody stared down at her. “Which one is real, Brody?” Emma asked in a serious manner. “Well, all of them of course, whichever one the Princess needs him to be at the exact time she needs him, I hope anyway,” Brody said deep in thought, “Which do you prefer Emma?” “That’s a hard question to answer,” she said. “Which do you prefer?” “I’ve never thought of myself that way,” he laughed uncertainly. “If I’m honest with myself, I actually enjoy all of you. It’s just harder with the latter. Kind of takes me out of my comfort zone. Either way, both are incredible sexy,” Emma yawned and stroked his face, “But this is so nice.” “But this one bores you in bed, you’re yawning,” he chuckled as he looked down at her. “Hmm no not bored. Just tired, and particularly comfortable right here in your arms,” Emma said and began to drift. “To be continued,” Brody whispered and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.
CHAPTER ELEVEN “You’re sure you like it?” Brody’s voice was shaky, and he was trying so hard to impress her. “Of course I do; I love it and I love you.” Emma hugged him. Brody let out an immense sigh and Emma giggled. Brody raised his eyebrow and walked towards her, “Are you laughing at me Emma?” “No,” she said shaking her head and smiling, “I certainly am not; I just like...no love seeing you happy.” “You know what would make me happy?” He said, grabbing her ass and lifting her up to him and biting her neck lightly. “Getting London’s room finished,” she laughed as he tossed her on the bed. “We have eight hours love, eight hours may not be two days, but its eight hours Em,” he laughed and kissed her again. Emma smiled and took a deep breath, “I know,” she said and tried to smile. “Okay then,” he sat back on his heels and pulled her up, “London’s fine, your parents are supervising Troy’s visit. He’s in counseling, and they’re building a great relationship. She loves you, and if I remember correctly she was the one who decided she wanted just to be with him today.” “That hurt,” Emma whispered. “Like hell.” “I’m sorry,” Emma held him close. “Emma, she needs him right?” “Yes,” Emma said rubbing her hands through his hair. “Yes,” Brody pushed his forehead against hers. “Boy are we a sorry bunch,” Emma laughed. “No, we’re a family,” Brody said, and his eyes went somewhere else. “Hey, come back to me,” she smiled and kissed him. He looked down and closed his eyes tightly, “Fuck.” “Brody, it bothers us both,” Emma hugged him. He pulled away, “Just need a minute Love, alright?” “No, it’s not. Talk to me please?” Emma said, “Don’t pull away.” “Just a moment, please,” Brody stepped off the bed. “No!” Emma snapped, and he quickly turned around and gave her a look that said not now and walked out the door. “Please!” Brody stood in the hallway against the door and listened to her cry and got extremely angry and punched the wall, “Shit!” he yelled and held his hand. Emma jumped up and walked out the door and found him crouched on the floor holding his bleeding hand. He looked at Emma and his jaw tightened, and he closed his eyes. “Did that wall piss you off or was it me?” Emma asked as she knelt down and took his hand to look it over. He flinched, “I’m not mad at you.” “Okay so the wall then?” Emma forced a laugh as she stood up and pulled him with her. “Sorry,” Brody said his plump bottom lip sticking out. “Okay, you need to tell me what just happened Brody,” Emma said as she led him into the master bathroom and washed his hand off as she examined it.
“Not now Emma,” he said and flinched. “Your hand looks fine, you’re lucky,” Emma said and walked out and went down the hall into London’s room. She stood in the middle of the floor and looked around the light pink room. London had picked a much brighter color pink and Emma swayed her into doing an accent wall in the Pepto Bismol pink instead of the whole room. Okay Emma, she thought to herself, this is just a small issue, easily overcome. He was upset...just upset. Damn it why won’t he talk to me? Emma walked out and past the master suite and went downstairs. The entry was grand and although she would never say it to either Brody or London she felt it was a waste of space. The dining room was to the right and was large enough to invite London’s entire class of twenty kids for dinner. The living room was on the opposite side of the house and was just as huge and there was a half bath off of it. Brody, Emma, and London had agreed on a very pale yellow with the ceiling painted a shade darker. The furniture was enormous and fit the large room perfectly. The brown leather sectional was perfect for a family of ten, not just three. The kitchen, pantry, study, and bathroom were all just as oversized as the rest of the house. The furniture had been delivered yesterday as a surprise to Emma. Brody wanted to keep her busy today, knowing she would be emotional, something happy to brighten her day. “There you are,” Brody said wrapping his arms around her waist from behind; she reached up and rubbed his soft stubble. “Okay?” “Are you?” she asked softly. “I am now, sorry about that,” he kissed her neck. “Brody, have you ever thought about adoption?” Emma asked softly. He chuckled, “No Emma.” “Well I think it’s something that we could considered,” Emma turned around to face him. His eyes widened, “Do you want another child?” “I think you do, and if you do, I want that as well.” “Emma, I don’t need that. You and London are enough,” he hugged her. “There are other ways,” Emma said quietly. “Emma do you want another child?” Brody asked lifting her chin and looking into her eyes. “I want to give you a child,” Emma looked at him, “I can’t and I know what an amazing father you would be, I can’t take that from you.” “I love you Emma. That upstairs was not about wanting a child. It’s about my controlling tendencies. I don’t want London to get hurt. That’s it, understand?” Brody asked. “Yeah, but...” Emma started. Brody put his finger over her mouth, “Seven hours and fifteen minutes.” Emma looked at him, and his eyes were dark blue and slightly hooded. “Plenty of time to get London’s room done,” Emma breathed out. “How about we start in ours and work our way down the hall?” He asked as he pulled her closer into him. Emma tried not to smile, “Why not start down here then?” He smiled and kissed her gently, “Right here?” he asked rubbing down her back slowly as he kissed her neck. “Uh huh,” Emma said rolling her head to the side giving him further access to her neck. “How about here?” He asked as he ran his fingertips across her breast that immediately responded to his touch. “Yes,” she moaned softly. He slowly started to lift her shirt, and she stopped him, “Please, not yet.” “Emma we’ve already been there, what’s the problem love?” Brody asked as he reached behind her
and unsnapped her bra one handed. Emma pulled away slowly, “I look like the bride of Frankenstein, its daylight and I just can’t. Do you understand?” “Nope,” he said and took the right one in his mouth and Emma moaned when she really wanted to protest. “The way I see it,” he paused as he pulled on her nipple lightly with his teeth, “is very different from how you do,” again he paused and licked her and lightly blew on her and she let out a breath. “This may seem perfect and don’t get me wrong Em it is, pretty damn amazing, but I prefer this one.” Brody slowly pulled her black lacey bra down and slowly knelt before her. “Brody don’t,” she whispered. “Trust me Emma this is by far my favorite, this little light pink mark,” he said as he traced it with his tongue, “That’s my favorite spot. What you see as monstrous, I see as a blessing. This marks where the doctors entered and removed a small lump that could have eventually taken you from me. This Emma is my favorite spot, and you’re trying to keep me from it.” Brody stood and kissed her neck and up her face, and felt her moist cheek against his lips as he moved up her face. “Did I overstep?” He asked softly as he leaned back. “No, you didn’t, that was…” Emma started. “The truth, you won’t ever get anything else from me Emma. I may need a moment now and then, but I’ll always be honest and truthful,” he said and kissed her soft wet lips. “I want to make love to you here Emma, may I?” She nodded her head yes and took his face in her hands and kissed him. *** Emma sat up on the dining room table, completely exhausted. Brody smiled at her as he watched her and rubbed her bare back. “Ready to move upstairs?” “I can barely sit up,” Emma giggled. “Well we have five more hours to pass and I actually want you in our bed,” Brody said squeezing her rear. “You’ve had me in every room and on every surface down here,” Emma laughed “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wash dishes in that sink without turning red.” “You shouldn’t have tried to run,” Brody laughed. “We need to clean up the floor, it’s very slippery. Who would have thought the faucet sprayer could reach that far?” Emma laughed. “I’m so glad it did, that damn shirt needed to come off,” he said as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her gently caressing her breast. “Thank you,” Emma whispered. “For what love?” he said and kissed her neck. “Everything, you are amazing, sweet, and kind,” Emma said leaning back into him, “And hard...again Brody?” She gasped as she felt him against her back. “What do you expect, you’re sitting naked on our dining room table, and all I can think about is what’s down here for me to munch on,” he laughed and grazed his long fingers between her legs. “Oh Brody,” she moaned and jumped off the table before he could grab her, “Meet me in that big old bed, Music Man,” she said running up the stairs. He grabbed her before she got to the door and wrapped his arm around her and lightly bit her neck, “Gotcha.”
“Well it seems you do,” Emma said and turned toward him, “So now — what are you going to do about it?” Brody laughed his deep dark naughty laugh, “I’m going to tie you up in bows, love.” “I don’t think...” Emma started, and he lifted her onto him and thrust into her savagely, causing her to cry out. “No, you’re not to think, just feel and do as you’re told,” Brody said pulling out just as swiftly as he entered her. Emma gasped, “Give that back.” “Your demands won’t be met at the present time, come I want to show you something,” he said grabbing her hand and leading her to the closet. Brody opened the door to his closet and pushed aside the clothes revealing another door, he pulled a key off of a shelf. He winked at Emma whose eyes were wide with wonder. He opened the door and behind it was a small closet that had drawers and shelves that held boxes. “Alright Emma why don’t you check this out,” his voice was controlled but she knew he was nervous. Emma pulled open a drawer, and its contents made her gasp out loud. She picked up a small silver object, and her face turned red. “Okay, just so you know, I’m quite embarrassed right now, and I expect that you think I don’t know what these are, but I do.” “What are they Emma?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and slowly pressing his erection against her back. “Bullets? Silver bullets, sex toys, and hand cuffs, and a vibrator,” she moaned as he caressed her sex with his hands. “Okay very good Emma, how do you feel about them?” He said circling her with his finger. “Well I’ve been to toy parties, I always just bought the lotions,” she said breathlessly. He laughed and opened the next drawer revealing several lotions and oils. “Yep like those,” she said pushing into his touch. He moaned, “So you like those, huh?” “I think I will with you,” she said her voice shaking. She reached down to the last drawer and he stopped it from opening with his knee. “You aren’t ready for that yet love,” Brody said inserting a finger into her. “Please,” she moaned. “Those boxes, the black one is for now,” he said and pulled his hands away from her and reached up to grab it, “Get in bed Emma.” His voice was gruff, and she felt excitement burn deep inside of her as she went to the bed and covered herself as she sat waiting and wanting all things Brody. He bit the corner of his lip as he pulled the blanket off of her, she squeezed her legs together. “You need me Em?” He asked stone faced as he cocked his head slightly to the left. She looked up at him wide eyed and nodded her head slowly. “Of course you do,” he reached over the headboard and pulled out two rings attached that to ropes from behind it and tugged forcefully checking that they were tight enough. Emma gasped, and he released a soft deep haunting laugh that made her squeeze her legs together even tighter as he gently laid her down, “Give me your hand.” He gently tied it up and moved to the next, he didn’t have to ask she just reached her hand out to him and squirmed a little and continued to pressing her knees tightly together. He was straddling her as he attached the silk scarves to the rings, he was in the perfect position to take him in her mouth, and she did. He looked down at her mouth full of him. “This isn’t for me, yet,” he grabbed a hold of himself and slowly pulled out of her mouth and moaned loudly.
He lightly dragged the head across her lips and down her chin slowly as she followed with her tongue until she couldn’t reach it anymore and she squirmed with a deep desire. “How flexible are you Emma, should we see?” He asked as he raised her ankle to her arm. “If any part of this bothers you, you need to tell me,” He slowly lowered my legs and backed up a little. “No or stop aren’t going to work, you’re going to want to say those words and not mean them, and you know I’ve heard you say them before and not mean it. Emma, tell me what word you’ll say if you ever truly want me to stop,” he said pulling more rings from behind the bed. They were longer, “I wasn’t going to do this yet, but you’re leaving me no choice,” he said taking one ankle and tying it and then the other, now she could no longer squeeze her knees together. “What’s your word love?” “I don’t know, but I need you now, I want to come for you please,” Emma said panting. “Not yet, pick a word,” Brody demanded. “Uncle?” Emma said trying to squirm. He looked at her and tried to maintain his distant look, but she saw amusement. “You can’t laugh at me when you have me all tied up like this, it makes me feel...” she started. Brody immediately went down, and she stopped and moaned. He sat back, “No more talking Emma, or I will gag you,” he warned. “You are so fucking hot, and you don’t even know it, turn off that shit in your brain and feel,” he said as he slid his finger in her and circled her. Emma tossed her head back and cried out. He propped her head up with pillows, “You need to watch me make you come, see what I can do for you,” he said as he took her again in his mouth. She watched as he skillfully licked and sucked her, he used his fingers as he claimed her clit with his tongue and teeth, he looked up at her to make sure she was watching and slowly eased his finger out of her, and his tongue took its place. “Emma you taste divine, I want you to come for me, I want to taste more of you,” he said and she felt his tongue moving further south, and she gasped. “No, don’t please...” Emma said, and he shoved two fingers in her, and she felt her body tightening as he rimmed her and fucked her with his fingers until she exploded, screaming out his name. He removed his fingers and savagely sucked between her legs thumbing her clit. Her orgasm lasted forever and when she finally finished he moved between her legs and thrust deeply into her, filling her totally. She couldn’t move, and he didn’t stop. She felt the release of her arms and legs and then his mouth was on her right breast and fingers on her left pulling and sucking her until she felt the tightening in her belly again. “Oh, please, oh stop, ahh!” She cried out and came again. Brody flipped her around on her stomach drawing her ass in the air and pushed into her again, this time slower and deeper until they both climaxed together. Brody finally sat up and grabbed tissues off the nightstand and gently cleaned between her legs. “I can do that.” Emma said half asleep as she tried to stop him. “My mess, I’ll clean it up. Rest now Emma because our next task is going to be as exhausting, we’re going to talk about my past,” he said quietly and kissed her inner thighs as he finished up. “How do you suggest I rest, now?” Emma asked sitting up and looking at him. Brody smiled, “I’ll be right back, lay down.” What do I ask first? No just listen Emma, just listen, she thought to herself. Emma jumped under the covers and went to put on her shirt when he returned with bottled water and sandwiches. “Don’t put that back on!” Brody yelled and she jumped in response. “You have had those covered for
a month now, I’ve just got them back, and I really like them a lot,” he said kissing her while sliding under the covers. “Ok,” she said quietly leaning into him as he took the top off her water and gave her a drink. “Alright so my Mom left when I was eleven, we now know why, I’m in a good place with all of that now. But we’ve yet to really discuss my father. So he began to drink a lot, Bobby and Rebecca kind of picked up the slack around the house and tended to me, the youngest. Dad simply drank and worked, he wasn’t affectionate like my mother had been, and when he looked at us when he was sober, he just looked hurt. I get all that now as well.” “When we lost my childhood home we moved in with his younger brother, my uncle. His guest house actually. Uncle Bo was a bachelor and a party machine. He and Dad spent a lot of time together entertaining. His parties were epic. Wild women, booze, and drugs. I was fascinated by his lifestyle. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen. My family didn’t live that way when my mother was alive and well. We only saw Bo on New Year’s Day, I assume it’s because the days after his big parties he was much calmer, hung- over and used up,” Brody laughed. “My mother kept us from all of that, which was the right thing to do. The last Christmas Mom was alive Dad dropped us off at my Aunt and Uncles in London for two days. You know I didn’t even know she was sick, I was so pissed at her, so angry, I believe I hated her Emma, and that must have hurt like hell, in her last days I hated her.” “Brody, she wanted what was best for you, not to remember her as sick,” Emma said and wrapped her arms around him. “Yeah, not a good idea. I think we went through that huh, Em? Now I also think because of your shenanigans I understand what she was trying to do. I would have preferred her to have given me the opportunity,” Brody spoke sadly. “Okay so she died and Dad went from depressed to male whore overnight,” Brody laughed. “He ended up moving a much younger woman into the guest house, Betsy, I think she was just eighteen maybe nineteen. Well her sister would visit us a lot, we fed her. She and I hung out a lot, Bobby left for the military and Rebecca ended up going away to school. So I was thirteen and very curious, so I would sneak out to Bo’s on party nights and hide and watch the adults in their suit and ties and fancy dresses as they drank and did drugs and danced. They looked happy, so happy compared to the sadness I had lived for two years. Victoria, Betsy’s sister, was sixteen. Well I didn’t know it but she followed me one night when I went to peek in the windows of the main house to watch the adult’s party. When I caught her, I told her to go back to the house but she said she would tell on me. So I let her come along. I was much braver with an audience, and well, we hide in my Uncle Bo’s room. That night he had two women in his bed tied up, and he was fucking them forever. When he finished they practically fell to his feet. I remember being so happy when they finally left to get the hell out of there. Victoria and I didn’t speak of that night for a week or so until she caught me sneaking out again. I told her if she followed me I would tie her up, and she said okay. That was my first experience. She was three years older than me and probably got sick of the fact that I couldn’t last more than ten minutes, so being competitive I started making sure I would,” he laughed, “Shall I stop, Em?” “No, please go on,” Emma said kissing his chest. “Well fast forward a year, Betsy moved out, Victoria wasn’t around anymore, and Dad practically lived at Bo’s. I went to London to try to get my head on straight and stayed with my Aunt and Uncle. I attended the music school my aunt taught at, on scholarship and shockingly I excelled at piano, I then took to guitar and became fast friends with the other scholarship kids. All in my band, one my driver.” Emma smiled up at Brody, “I love you.” “I love you and trust me Emma I wish I could end there, but there’s more. If I didn’t know you feel the same I would end the story there. What I’m about to tell you no one, I mean no one, except the guys know. This is how much I trust you, with my life Emma, I trust you with everything.” “I trust you just as much,” Emma said and kissed him again.
“Alright, so one night I overheard my Aunt and Uncle quarreling over money. He was angry about her wanting to buy me a new guitar and he basically said he was fed up with the charity case she brought to their marriage. Again, I know now he was just frustrated, and I’m over it. Anyway I moved out, got a job at a pub, I was fifteen and looked twenty, you know tall with facial hair...” “And hot,” Emma laughed. “My story — remember?” He laughed and kissed her head. “So I tended bar and played a bit of piano. Over the next year, I went from shit holes to the penthouse. When I wasn’t tending bar I was playing gigs with the guys at all sorts of clubs. We got invited to a party, and it was wild. We fucked a lot and I used my teenage skill set on everyone I could. My boys don’t know that, that’s all for you,” he laughed. “Does Ariel know, I mean did you tie her up?” Emma asked. “No, after Jemma died so did that part of my life,” Brody said. “Jemma?” Emma asked. “Yes, we lived together briefly. She actually introduced me to the S & M scene, opened my eyes to what I hadn’t learned from Bo’s parties. But it was all promoted as control. They had no control, they had kids on drugs fucking, and that’s it. My first Dom was an older woman, not Jemma,” Brody said sadly. “I’m sorry you lost her,” Emma said softly. “It wasn’t like that; she wasn’t someone I was in love with. She introduced me to drugs and I woke up tied up getting my ass beat at a party one night,” Brody laughed, “Jemma was four years older than I was and very worldly. I was a toy.” “Is there more?” Emma asked. “I think that’s good for the night, unless you want me to talk about the Jemma years,” Brody said looking down at her with a gross look on his face. “So it disgusts you, why still do it?” Emma asked. “When done right without vengeance or perversion it’s the most beautiful thing in the world,” Brody said and closed his eyes. “With you it’s beautiful, and how I believe it should be.” “I guess I’m confused,” Emma said looking down. “Okay how do I best explain this to you? When you’re lying there wrapped in bows,” he chuckled, “You’re giving me complete control of you, you trust me completely, you know I won’t hurt you or give you more than you can handle. That’s the ultimate trust one could give another. Trust, complete trust.” “So until then, you didn’t trust me or believe me?” “Of course I did, or I wouldn’t have had you that way,” Brody said rubbing her shoulders. “So what do you get from it? I mean seriously, you could have your way with me anytime you’d like,” Emma asked sincerely. Brody laughed, “I get to please you, take you right to the edge without you crushing my face with your legs. I know you want me and desire me, I know when you’re frustrated you need that. I know when you do, it’s me you want, and to me — I feel much better knowing I’m the one who gets to do that to you. If I didn’t believe you before you said yes to my proposal I would know that you would be back for more.” “Really?” Emma asked. “Yes, pretty confident about that. Should I not be?” She rolled her eyes at him, “Don’t make me question myself, or I could get out the whip.” “You really...” Emma started. “No, I don’t want to beat you that’s twisted,” Brody laughed, “But, there are many ways Emma.” “What’s in the third drawer?” she asked nervously. “Can you trust me enough not to answer right away?” Brody asked with a wicked little grin. “If I have to,” she groaned. “Good, I want to talk to you about wedding stuff,” Brody grinned and Emma smiled. “Big or small?”
“Whatever you want, we could do Vegas,” Emma laughed. “Done that,” Brody laughed. “Really?” Emma asked amused. “Yep, corny huh?” Brody smiled. “I’ve done big,” Emma said. “Yes you have,” he said moving her hand from his chest down. Emma laughed, “That’s perfect after you know...you get me ready.” “Okay so no Vegas or big wedding, how about small and personal?” Brody asked. Emma grinned, “Perfect,” she purred and moved her hand lower. “Hmm, a date Emma?” Brody moaned. “Tomorrow?” she asked moving her hand up and down him. “Emma that would…be too soon…no time for planning.” Brody moaned, “Fuck Emma,” he said, and she winked at him and went under the covers. Brody pushed the cover off and grabbed her hips and scooted down the bed. He lifting and turning her so that she was above him, and she didn’t stop. “Mine,” he said and brought her down on his face. “Mine,” Emma said and sucked harder as he licked her deep, “Awe you need to stop. This was my idea, damn it!” “Keep sucking love, please,” he groaned as he continued pleasuring her. Emma continued sucking him and licking the tip of his throbbing, hard, pleasure stick. She used her hand and sucked harder. She felt her body tighten up and wanted him to come first, she took him deeper in her throat than she ever had, letting it touch the back and he groaned deeply, and her body was on the edge as he came in her mouth and she followed suit. She lay on top of him until her body stopped pulsing; kissing him until she could move as he gently rubbed her ass. She sat up and turned around and looked at him and smiled, “Thank you.” “No love thank you, again,” Brody said shaking his head in disbelief. “What?” Emma asked cocking her head to the side like he does and finally grinning. “You like to do that huh?” Brody asked. “I don’t think like is the right word,” she said and laid on him with her chin on his chest looking up at him innocently. “Oh no?” Brody smiled pushing her hair away from her eyes. “Well as much as I would like to argue it is pretty amazing, but that’s because it’s with you,” Emma said softly. “In a loving, respectful relationship, it’s more than I could have ever dreamed. Much hotter than I have ever experienced.” Brody ran his hand across her chest. Emma smiled. “So you don’t think I’m a monster, you’re not going to call me monster man instead of music man?” Emma laughed a deep belly laugh, “I’m the Bride of Frankenstein you can be my Monster Man.” Brody laughed, “Halloween is right around the corner, which by the way when’s your birthday?” “March third, wow when is yours?” Emma asked shocked that she didn’t know. “October thirty first,” he laughed. “Hmm, my monster man,” she said and grabbed him firmly, “Mine.” “Oh yes, all yours,” Brody groaned. They lay wrapped in each other’s arms exhausted, “We have two hours love, shall we shower and work on London’s room?” Emma giggled and sat up, “I think we should get that room done before we shower, we may not make it in there if we don’t.” “Very true, let’s go,” Brody jumped up and turned and looked at her, “You coming Em?” Emma smiled
and laughed. Brody looked down at her with pride, “Perfectly fucked.” “From top to bottom, monster man,” she winked. “Rest, I’m going to get started,” he said and kissed her head. “I’m up.”
CHAPTER TWELVE “So London, Halloween’s coming up, what would you like to do?” “Well Mom told me it was your birthday, so it’s up to you.” “No, I remember how much you enjoyed dressing up, so what would you like to do?” Brody said insistently. London looked to Emma her eyes pleading for help, “Why don’t we trick or treat early and then have a birthday party at our new home?” “It’s a Thursday night Emma.” “I know, and you have The Today Show the next day but I refuse to not celebrate your birthday,” Emma grinned. “I think that’s perfect,” London agreed as they pulled up to drop her off in front of her school. Caroline met them at the car. “Grandma, big party Thursday night after trick or treat. Its Brody’s birthday!” London announced. “See you soon, London,” Emma said blowing her a kiss. London caught it and tossed one back. They pulled away, and Emma smiled at Brody, “I’m only going to be six years older than you in a few days.” He laughed, “When will you let that go?” “Never,” she said sitting back and rolling her eyes. “What do you want for your birthday, Brody?” Emma smiled. “You,” he said looking out the window. “What else?” Emma asked. “Um…you,” he smiled, “For my birthday I want you.” “Do you know how impossible it’s going to be to figure out what to buy you? London’s already asked me and well, if you would be kind enough to help me out...I would appreciate it,” Emma said pouting. “I want a party, with you and London and a few other people. Cheesecake is my favorite, you and cheesecake would make me extremely happy,” Brody said as his eyes flashed. “Okay, you can have me any way you want on your birthday,” she smiled. “Any way?” he asked moving closer to her. “Any way at all,” Emma said and kissed him. “Oh it’s going to be my favorite birthday ever,” Brody smiled. “I hope so, could you please close the privacy window, I don’t want him to get embarrassed,” Emma nodded to Clive. *** “Mom is Brody going to dress up with us tonight?” London yelled from the bathroom. “I left that up to him, it’s his birthday, but I’m all ready to go, check me out,” she said and danced in circles. “Mommy, we match,” London laughed. “Look at my two ladies,” Brody laughed. “Check you out Brody, you’re Frankenstein!” London jumped up and down, “We all match.” Emma smiled and shook her head, and he kissed her neck, “My beautiful bride.” “My monster man,” Emma said trying not to smile too big, and he slowly stroked his nose across hers
and pulled her bottom lip with his teeth. “Ouch Mom, the flash!” Emma yelled and laughed. “It is a beautiful picture Emma, well worth the momentary vision loss,” Caroline smiled as London returned with her candy bag. *** Brody, Emma, and London pulled in the driveway after Trick or Treating. “There are lots of cars here,” London exclaimed, “We need to get rid of these costumes; it’s a birthday party now, what a fun day!” Emma smiled and hugged London, and kissed her face, “You make me so happy!” Caroline opened the door and took another picture and blinded them all momentarily. “Mom!” Emma scowled. Caroline laughed, “Okay the back door, no one will see you, hurry up go get changed!” “I’ll meet you ladies downstairs, my clothes are in the downstairs bathroom, and I know I’ll be changed before both of you,” Brody smiled, and they started to walk away. “Hey Emma, can I see you for just a second?” “Of course,” Emma walked back to him. “I love you,” Brody kissed her. “I love you more,” Emma kissed him back. “I don’t know about that…prove it,” he winked and kissed her. “I will later. Cheesecake and me. And a lot of you,” Emma kissed him and tried to pull away. “Not so fast love,” Brody said and lifted her up and spun her around, she wrapped her legs and arms around him and kissed him deeply, “Forever Em?” “Nothing less,” Emma kissed him again. *** Emma walked into their room and took a deep breath and walked through to the bathroom. She washed her face and pulled her hairpins out and looked in the mirror, you’re a mess, she thought, quick shower. “Emma, you have guests waiting dear,” Caroline yelled into the bathroom. “I know. Is London changed? Did all the makeup come off her face?” she asked while finishing up in the shower. “I want this to be perfect for him, could you grab me my black slip dress please Mom?” Emma said walking out in a towel. “No, actually Brody asked me to give you this and this,” she smiled, “I wonder what’s in this bag,” Caroline giggled. Emma smiled grabbing it “Isn’t this a little long? I can’t wear this color,” Emma laughed. “Just do as he asks and get down there, he’s waiting,” Caroline smiled and walked out. *** Emma walked to the stairs and looked down at everyone all dressed in suits and evening attire. Emma scanned the room for Brody and he turned and looked at her, she smiled and he took a deep breath, he looked to London and grinned and she walked up to meet her Mom, and Henry followed behind her. Emma looked back at Brody, and he winked, she smiled and looked at her father who offered her his arm. London turned just before she got to Emma and started down the stairs dropping rose petals and then music rang through the surround sound. Marry Me by Train started playing and Emma gasped, and her eyes widened. Emma looked at Brody, and he smiled and cocked his head to the side. Emma smiled and
looked towards her father. “You ready for this?” Henry asked kissing her cheek. “I’ve waited for him forever, Daddy,” Emma said and felt tears. They walked down the stairs and up to Brody. “Hi,” he took her hand. “Hi,” Emma smiled as he wiped the tears off her face. “Make this the best birthday ever?” “Anything you want,” she smiled and nodded her head. “Perfect,” he kissed her gently, “Let’s do this.” Emma turned and saw Lila and Mark sitting in the living room that was set up for the occasion. Brody’s band was there, all of them. Her parents and she recognized his sister, the blonde from the photo. The pastor from her church was there, and Emma laughed and covered her mouth. Brody laughed and took her hand, “You okay, Em?” Emma started laughing harder and hugged him burying her face into his chest. He kissed her head, “Love, did I drive you over the edge?” “I’m sorry; this is just so…how did you pull this off?” “Em can we do this…thing first and then chat about the semantics?” “Yes, of course...sorry.” They walked up to Pastor Page, and he spoke. Emma heard nothing he said and just looked up at Brody smiling as he held her tightly against his side. One of his arms was draped around her waist — the other casually in his pocket and his nose nuzzling her hair. “Emma are you ready for the vows?” Pastor Page asked again. “Oh sorry, of course,” Emma smiled. They said their traditional vows, “With this ring I thee wed,” Brody started and pushed the ring on her finger and Emma was smiling and quickly shook her head back and forth. “What is it Emma?” Brody asked deeply concerned. “I don’t have a ring, Brody,” Emma gasped. “I’ve got it covered love,” he said and held up his hand. Emma looked at his finger and smiled, “That’s beautiful, I’m usually not into ink but…you had a ring tattooed on your finger Brody?” “I had a wedding band, which is actually your name tattooed on my finger forever,” Brody said, and she pulled his hand up to her mouth and kissed it. “Always,” she smiled and kissed it again. “And forever Emma,” Brody smiled, “You’ve given me everything; you and London are my more.” “I love you so much,” Emma hugged him. “I love you Always, don’t you ever forget that. No more doubting and no more trying to push me away. I love you Emma, nothing will ever change that ever, not a million miles, not a million years. We’re each other’s always.” Brody hugged her. “And forever,” she said and jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. “And forever,” Brody kissed her. Pastor Page cleared his throat, “Well, I now pronounce you man and wife, kiss the bride I guess.” He said with an exasperated smile, “Ladies and Gentleman may I introduce for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Brody Hines!” Brody laughed and Emma slowly lowered herself down and giggled, “Mrs. Hines shall we?” “Of course,” she followed him. “Rebecca this is your sister in law, my wife, Emma,” Brody smiled. “Very nice to meet you Emma, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Rebecca hugged her.
“I’m so glad to meet you as well, how long can you stay, can you stay with us?” Emma beamed. “I’m staying in the city, big Today Show interview, I had no idea I would be attending my baby brother’s wedding,” Rebecca smiled. “Congratulations Mommy,” London ran up and hugged her. “Oh thank you, congratulations to you too, you now have a stepfather, and this is your step aunt Rebecca. Rebecca, this is my daughter London,” Emma smiled. “London, I’ve heard so much about you, I already feel like I know you,” Rebecca said and hugged her. “Who knew about this Brody?” Emma asked. He nodded towards her parents, “Your parents and Troy.” “Troy?” Emma asked. “I thought he should know, to be prepared right?” “You are so amazing,” Emma kissed him. “Mrs. Hines if you keep kissing me like that I may take you right here love, control can only take me so far,” Brody growled in her ear. “Brody if you growl in my ear again like that I may come right here, love,” Emma whispered back and he gasped. “I think we need to go upstairs for a few minutes,” Brody said nuzzling into her neck. “Not without cheesecake. Go talk to your friends,” Emma laughed. Emma and Brody cut the cake and gently fed each other bites, “Save room for more,” Emma said and rubbed some on his lips and kissed it off. *** “Do you have the lingerie on that I picked out for you?” Brody whispered softly in her ear. “Uh- huh,” Emma said lying against his chest. London would stay with Henry and Caroline while Brody and Emma went to the city to stay the night. He had to be at Rockefeller Center bright and early for his interview. Rebecca was staying at the same hotel they were. Brody swooped her up in his arms and carried her into their suite. There were candles flickering in the room and flowers everywhere. Soft music played in the background. “This is beautiful,” Emma whispered. “It’s insipid in comparison, Mrs. Hines,” Brody kissed her gently. Emma caressed his face. “Champagne?” Brody asked setting her down on the floor. “Of course,” Emma took the glass he offered. “To you my wife, my love, my reason for being,” Brody said staring into her eyes. “Always,” Emma said tenderly. “And forever,” Brody continued. Brody smiled seductively at her and kissed her gently leaving her wanting more. “It’s your birthday,” Emma smirked. “The best ever,” he pulled her against him. “I have gifts for you, they’re not all here,” Emma said wrapping her arms around him. “All?” He asked grinning. “Well one isn’t something to open, I just thought you would like it,” Emma said shyly. “Alright but right now I want my wife, and cheesecake,” he said turning her around and unzipping her dress, “You look amazing in satin Emma. Satin on silk skin, hmm.” Brody kissed her neck. “You look amazing, I’ve never seen you in a tux, so hot, so perfect,” Emma gasped as his hands gently caressed her body.
Brody turned her around and looked her up and down, his eyes filled with desire, and she began to undress him, slowly. “Shall we keep this tie out?” Emma smiled. “No, not tonight,” Brody smiled gently. “Okay,” Emma said removing his shirt planting soft kisses on him lower and lower. She unbuttoned his pants, and they dropped to the floor. She smiled up at him and slowly moved down to her knees. “Emma...” He whispered trying to stop her. “It’s your birthday, and I’ve daydreamed all day about being on my knees in front of you, please just enjoy the moment, husband,” Emma said and took him in her mouth and took her time adoring his body with her mouth. “Emma!” He yelled out as he finished. Emma stood and turned to walk to the bathroom. “Where are you going?” “To brush my teeth,” she giggled, “just give me two minutes.” “One,” he yelled from behind her. Emma brushed her teeth and went to the bathroom. She quickly washed all the important parts and took a deep breath. Why am I nervous? She thought. She took several deep breaths and finally emerged from the bathroom. “I was wondering if you would ever come out,” Brody smiled as he patted the spot beside him on the bed. Emma stood and looked at him shaking her head, “Everything alright?” “Perfect, you’re perfect and beautiful and…” Emma began. “Would you get over here,” he laughed uncomfortably. “I want to look at you,” Emma beamed. Brody grabbed her by the waist and threw her down on the bed, “I want to taste you and cheesecake,” he grabbed the box they had brought from home, and untied her bustier. He unsnapped her garter belt from her panties and slowly pulled them down with his teeth, “What have we here?” He asked with a boyish grin. “Do you like?” Emma asked. “Yeah I like, when did you wax?” Brody asked kissing her belly button and moving down. “Last night,” Emma said breathlessly, “I wanted you to have a particularly clean plate for your birthday cake.” “Mmm Emma, I like the plate that has served me so many times before but the new plate is so smooth,” he said as he ran his soft stubble across her bare pubic area and she moaned. “You’re going to be even more sensitive now love,” he said and he nipped her inner thighs lightly, and she moaned. Brody grabbed the cheesecake and spread it across her, “Mmm mm mm,” he said as he licked it off and with each sound the vibration sent her spiraling into the most sublime orgasm she’s ever had. “Wow,” she breathed and looked up at him in shock, “What did you do?” He laughed, “I’ll never tell, my secret.” “Will you do it again?” “Anytime Mrs. Hines,” he laughed. “Now?” “As you wish.” Emma could not keep still, and this time was even more intense which made her more vocal. “I need you now, Em,” Brody said as he hovered over her. “Anytime,” she moaned almost inaudible. He kissed her hard on the mouth and moved into her swiftly, and they both yelled out, “Emma keep
still please, or this isn’t going to take long,” Brody said through his teeth. He pulled back and looked at her through deep lust filled eyes. He grabbed her by the waist and sat her on him, and she bit into his shoulder, “Fuck Em!” “Sorry, I’m sorry...” she moaned and began to wiggle. “You are very hot right now but damn stay still,” Brody laughed with warning. “Shut up and lay down,” Emma said laughing and pushed him back. “Emma,” he growled as she moved up and down him. She took his hands and placed them on her breasts and he squeezed her nipples between his fingers and she moved faster, and she felt her body tense. “Oh God, Brody aww...” Emma yelled. He sat and rolled her over and moved fast and hard into her until she screamed out his name over and over again. Brody came ramming into her as he filled her with all of him. He laid on top of her breathing heavy still inside of her. He began to slowly pull out, and she grabbed his ass and held him there. Brody laughed, “You are unbelievable.” “Again please,” Emma asked. “Anything for you,” he said, and she felt him harden inside her. Emma giggled, “What are you laughing at?” “It’s like Brody on demand,” she said squeezing him. “What was that?” His eyes danced. “Kegels,” she laughed, “muscle building exercises.” “Please do that again,” Brody moaned and she did, “Emma fuck,” he said and began his magical movements between her legs until they both climaxed together. After a while he moved out of her, “We need a shower, holy shit I’m soaked, you made me work tonight love. And on my birthday,” he laughed and smacked her ass as she stood. “Do that again,” she laughed as she bent over in front of him. He gasped, “What’s gotten into you naughty girl?” “You,” she said and walked to the bathroom giggling, “I love you. Naughty,” she mimicked his accent and laughed as she walked away. When they finished their shower they lay in bed wrapped in each other’s embrace. “Will you go with me tomorrow?” Brody asked. “If you want me too,” Emma said snuggling closer into him and yawning. “I do,” he said kissing her head. “I do,” she smiled and fell asleep smiling. *** Rebecca and Lila waited in the car for Brody and Emma. “Are you ready for this?” Lila asked Rebecca. “I think so, I just have to sit and smile right?” Rebecca laughed. “I’m sure, this is going to be hard for him,” Lila said looking over her notes. “Good morning,” Brody said holding the door open for Emma. “Wow look at you two,” Lila laughed. Emma beamed, “Good morning.” “Has it been?” Lila asked, and Emma gave her a silly look as Rebecca smiled. Brody sat and pulled her closer to him and buried his nose in her hair and closed his eyes. “Brody, could you give me your attention for a few moments,” Lila demanded snapping her fingers in front of him.
“Sure,” Brody smiled lifting his head away from Emma. “There is no way in hell to hide this so…” Lila began. “I’m not going to hide this,” he laughed and kissed Emma. “Well even if you wanted to that stupid school boy grin would give it away,” Lila scolded him, “So during the interview it would be best if you answer their questions honestly. I have photos on this disk from your ceremony, that way its right there, no one will have to dig for them. Keep it short, sing your ass off and then be done.” “Aye- aye captain,” Brody chuckled. The car pulled in front of the entry and Lila and Rebecca got out of the car and into the streets and crowd of screaming masses. “You ready for this Mrs. Hines?” Brody asked kissing her quickly. “Not really,” she said as he stood outside the car and held his hand out for her. Emma stood out and looked up at him nervously, he smiled and wrapped his arm around her as he waved to the crowd with his other, smiling that sexy as hell smile that made her squirm. They snuggled in the green room waiting as Lila spoke to the crew. When she walked in she smiled at them, “Will you be going on with them, Emma?” “No!” Emma snapped. Brody laughed, “She isn’t ready for all this, hell I’m still not. She can stay with you. Is that alright Mrs. Hines?” He asked kissing her head and she nodded her head yes. *** “Welcome back Brody Hines,” Matt smiled. “Thanks for having me,” Brody said shaking his hand and unbuttoning his jacket before he sat. “So you made quite an entrance,” Matt pointed to the monitor, “Who is that with you?” “That is Emma, my wife,” he smiled. “Wow, that’s a surprise,” Matt smiled. “It was to her as well.” “When did you two tie the knot?” “Last night, in a surprise ceremony she knew nothing of,” Brody laughed. “It was your birthday as well? “Sure was, maybe that’s why she didn’t put up a fuss.” “She is the woman you were photographed with?” “Yes,” Brody smiled. “You brought us exclusive photos?” “I guess we did.” Brody chuckled. “You haven’t seen them?” “No, I haven’t, let’s see them,” Brody shifted to look at the monitors. The first was a picture of the London, Emma, and Brody dressed up for Halloween. Brody laughed, “That’s great, although it’s not the wedding photos.” “Well tell us about it,” Matt laughed. “My step daughter likes Halloween, apparently her mother dresses up with her every year,” Brody laughed again. “So you had to do this, huh?” Matt chuckled. “No, actually they had no idea, and I didn’t know what they were going as either, perfect right?” Brody shook his head and looked towards the green room. “Very nice and this one?” “That one is at our home, Emma coming down the stairs and being surprised by the event,” Brody
looked pleased. “She looked pretty shocked,” Matt smiled. “That she was,” Brody said seriously as he gazed at the photo. The screen changed, “And this was her laughing, I assume it was nerves, it took a bit of time to calm her down,” he smiled softly and lovingly at the picture and the next was of her wrapped around him, Brody’s eyebrow raised, “The I do’s, there was a bit of improvisation there if you look you can see that her Pastor may have been a bit frustrated by that,” Brody took a deep breath and sat back very relaxed and lost in the photos. “She’s beautiful Brody, and appears to have a very calming effect on you,” Matt acknowledged. “She’s perfect for me, and I for her,” he said rubbing his lip still lost in the photo. “What’s this?” Matt asked pointing to his finger. “Oh my wedding ring,” he laughed, and the camera closed in on it. “It’s her name and Always.” “Did she make you do that?” “No, another surprise, I’ve been wrapped around her finger since I first saw her, and now she’s wrapped around mine,” he looked at it. “Wow that must have pleased her?” Matt laughed. “I hope so,” Brody smiled shifting again and laughing as he looked at his hands. “So I have to ask, M&M’s still your favorite candy? I mean so much has changed since you last stopped by,” Matt chuckled. “Of course,” Brody said biting his cheek trying not to smile. “Let’s take a break, and we’ll be back with more Brody Hines,” Matt smiled at the camera. Brody stood and laughed, “You’re an ass.” “Sorry I couldn’t resist, congratulations by the way,” Matt stood and shook his hand, “May I meet her?” Matt and Brody entered the green room and Emma sat quietly reading, she looked up as they walked in, “Em this is Matt, Matt my wife Emma.” “Pleased to meet you,” Emma said and held out her hand. Matt shook her hand, “Pleased to meet the calm to this storm.” “This is Lila my publicist, and my sister Rebecca,” Brody introduced them and looked back at Emma and winked. Emma smiled at him, and he walked over and hugged her. “Sorry we’re interrupting the honeymoon,” Matt joked. “I can tune you out,” Brody rebounded. “Well let’s get out there, the stage is ready,” Matt said and walked to the door. “Come out with me Mrs. Hines,” Brody asked as he held her tightly against him. “If you want me to.” “Emma don’t smile like that, fuck we need to get out of here,” Brody growled as he kicked the door shut behind him and lifted her up by her ass and kissed her. Emma gasped, and his tongue swiftly entered her mouth. “Brody,” Emma said and pulled back. “Are you telling me no?” Brody gasped. “I’m telling you there is no way right now you need to be on stage in, I don’t know, now?” Emma said as he pulled her panties to the side and slowly pushed into her and she gasped and grabbed his hair. “Em, this is going to be really quick, I’ll make it up to you, but I need you now alright,” Brody said with wild eyes and his jaw clenched. “Of course,” she said and finally breathed out. He pinned her against the wall and fucked her expeditiously and hard. “Oh Brody,” she moaned loudly and he covered her mouth with his as she held tightly to his hair, her
body began to pulse, and he knew she was ready and quickly she began to relax and he came. “God I love you, thank you,” Brody said grabbing Kleenex, cleaned himself and she did the same. “I love you, and just so you know that wasn’t just…” Emma started. “I’m well aware of that, damn you’re responsive, so fucking hot,” he kissed her again, “Let’s go Mrs. Hines.” They walked out hand in hand, and he ushered her towards Lila. “Sorry,” he said as he brushed past Matt and hopped on stage. “What the hell were you doing?” Lila snapped. Emma bit her cheek and raised her eyebrow, “Seriously?” “It’s my honeymoon,” Emma laughed. Brody stared at her as he sang and she tried not to convulse. He smiled when she crossed her legs and closed her eyes. He was a lot of fun to watch, his ass was perfect, his body long and lean and the fact that she had just had him made her want him more now. The crowd cheered, and he signed a bunch of autographs as Rebecca talked about London’s Child, and the plan of bringing it the US. Brody made his way towards Emma. “You ready?” He asked breathlessly. “Anytime,” she giggled. “Are you hungry?” Brody asked as he kissed her hand. “Always,” Emma smiled. Brody let a low moan, “Love, we should go eat with Rebecca and Lila. Is that alright?” “Sure,” Emma smiled at him. “Do you realize how agreeable you are to everything I say this morning?” “I do,” she said looking down. “I like you this way,” Brody hugged her. “Exhausted and perfectly fu...” Emma began, and he kissed her. The crowd cheered loudly, and Brody pulled away slowly, “Not cool.” “Sorry I...” Emma started again. “Don’t be sorry Emma, just please stay in front of me,” he laughed, “Let’s get out of here.” They waited in the car for Rebecca and Lila. “I think you two need to go hide out in your bedroom until you can control yourselves,” Lila snapped as she climbed in the limo, “Do you know there are cameras in the green room?” “Are you fucking kidding me?” Brody yelled. “No, I’m not,” Lila shouted back, “But I took care of it, you owe me big. If I get arrested, you better figure it out,” she snapped as she threw the disc at him. “Is that the only one?” Brody growled. “All except the one I’m keeping to blackmail your ass with when I lose my damn job and am broke and living in the fucking streets!” Lila growled. Emma started laughing and looked down, Rebecca laughed as well. “Are you two out of your minds?” Brody snapped. “Yes,” Emma laughed. “If you weren’t so fucking agreeable that wouldn’t have happened,” Brody threw himself back. “Sorry?” Emma said and looked out the window. “We’re going to eat breakfast, do you think you can...” Brody started. “What? Say no to you? Probably not,” Emma started laughing hysterically. “What the hell has gotten into you Emma?” Lila shouted. Emma laughed harder and tears started coming out of her eyes.
“Holy shit, you]ve lost it,” Brody held her tightly against him and laughed, “I love you.” “I love you,” Emma smiled up at him. “Enough,” he hissed. “Sorry,” she said and put her face into her sweater. “Nice hair by the way Brody,” Lila snapped again. “Why what’s wrong with it?” He asked and grabbed the mirror, “Emma,” he scolded. She kept her eyes closed as she looked towards him, “I had nothing else to hold on to,” she said and tried not to laugh. “What is wrong with you? You’ve just gotten married, if you choose to make love in the middle of the day you should. But don’t be ugly at each other,” Rebecca laughed. “This is not ugly this is…” Brody stopped, and Emma chuckled. They ate breakfast in uncomfortable silence. Lila was dropped off at her apartment. They drove Rebecca to the airport, and she and Brody discussed ideas about London’s Child. They’ve already raised over a million dollars from the song which was still number five on the music charts. As they neared the airport, Brody looked down, and Emma was asleep on his chest. “Will you be going on a holiday?” Rebecca asked. “I don’t think right away, London’s in school,” Brody said and sat back. “Will you come visit for Christmas?” Rebecca asked politely. “I don’t think that will go over well with London’s father, I sure wouldn’t want to be without her on Christmas,” Brody admitted. “Will you have children?” Rebecca asked. Brody explained Emma’s situation, and Rebecca smiled sadly, “I’m sorry, you would make a wonderful father, the way you look at London, well...it’s quite amazing.” “She’s an amazing girl,” Brody stated. “Well if she had ovaries she could still produce eggs and you could do in vitro right?” Rebecca asked. “I don’t know about any of that. I literally just found out what a hysterectomy was,” Brody said dismissively. “I would be a surrogate for you, just think about it, don’t dismiss it. You’ll be amazing,” Rebecca smiled. “We could adopt. Emma’s mentioned that before, she tried to push me away with that as well, believing I would need to be a father,” he laughed. “You sell yourself short, I love you brother,” Rebecca smiled. “You as well, I think you should come here for the holidays,” Brody suggested. Emma opened her eyes, “Oh excuse me I didn’t mean to fall asleep, how rude, I apologize Rebecca,” Emma said sleepily. *** Emma lay across Brody’s lap sound asleep when they pulled into the driveway, “Wake up love,” Brody whispered in her ear. “Mmm,” Emma smiled slightly as she stretched her back over his lap. He lightly skimmed his fingers teasingly across her chest, and she smiled. He did it again a little harder, and she moaned. He smiled down at her as she began to squirm, and he laughed softly. She opened her eyes. “Good dream, love?” “Yes,” she said and sat up. “Well let’s get you in the house while you’re still so agreeable,” Brody smiled. “Please,” Emma laughed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN “He agreed?” Brody smiled. “He did, and I want you to tell her. She’s going to be so excited to go to England!” Emma smiled and hugged him. “When will she be here?” Brody said hugging her. “An hour, why what did you have in mind?” “Em, I would like to have a chat, come sit,” he said biting his cheek hiding his smile. Emma sat and smiled at him, “Do you want more children?” “Well I think we started this talk before. Do you Brody?” “I think so, I know you wanted more and, well do you want another?” he stared at her. “If you do yes, but if you’re doing it because you think I need that to be happy please don’t. I have London, and I have you,” Emma said looking into his eyes. “Well, Rebecca said something about if you had ovaries egg production was still possible, she even offered to be a surrogate,” Brody told her smiling. “Okay will she move here while she’s pregnant?” Emma asked nervously. “Probably not, why?” Emma took a deep breath, “I just don’t know.” “About having another child, one that’s part you and part me?” Brody asked confused. “Okay — you’ve had some time to think about this, could you please give me the same?” Emma stood up to leave. “Emma, please just tell me what your reservations are,” Brody said grabbing her. Emma took a deep breath, “I can’t have my child or yours grow inside someone else’s body and not be part of that Brody, there is so much I would miss...and I can’t.” “Alright, calm down, I’m sorry,” he held her, “So this is a no?” “No, it’s just it would have to be someone who would let me go to appointments and be there every step of the way, Rebecca lives so far away,” Emma explained. “So we find someone here?” Brody asked. “Ok, if that’s what you want,” Emma said finally breathing out. “Shall we ask London how she feels?” Brody smiled. “No, I’m sure we already know her reaction, she has mentioned it enough. I also think we may…” Emma started. “Want to wait until we know it works?” he smiled and hugged her. “Yes, Brody there’s also one more thing, we need to talk to Mark,” Emma said softly. “Oh,” he paused, “Emma if we can’t we can’t alright, I’m sorry I didn’t even consider it. Very thoughtless of me, I’m sorry,” Brody hugged her and kissed her. “Please don’t be, I just don’t want to disappoint you,” she whispered. “Damn it don’t think like that. Why the hell did I…” Brody said in a dark angry tone. Emma looked up at him, “I shouldn’t have said anything. This should be exciting for you, for us.” “I’m calling him now, I want to know,” Brody said grabbing her phone. “Slow down, I also need to speak to a fertility specialist, and we need to find a trustworthy surrogate,” Emma said gently taking his hand, “I’m so sorry it has to be like this for you, Brody.” “Stop! We can both feel like shit about this and carry around a lot of guilt, but the truth is, regardless — we knew what we were getting ourselves into and it wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, agreed?”
Brody asked sternly. “Yes.” “Like you mean it, Em,” Brody begged. “I do,” Emma said looking down and taking a deep breath. “Okay, then. I’m calling Mark first, no arguments. You are my life Em, now go make me and London dinner,” he snapped and smacked her on the ass. Emma smiled and walked into the kitchen to start dinner, she turned on the iPod and cranked up the music, and she cooked pasta and sauce. She made a salad and garlic bread and kept herself busy so that she could try to avoid the damn thoughts floating around in her head. The miscarriages, the hurt and pain of four years, the cancer, and disappointing this beautiful man who wanted everything she ever wanted and loved her better than anyone had or ever could. “Em,” Brody said looking at her as he stood in the doorway and tears burst out of her eyes. “Please, I’m sorry, so sorry, but I do have good news,” he lifted her face and kissed away her tears, “We can move forward with this, Em.” “I don’t know if you understand what hell this is going to play on your emotions Brody. It is horrible and awful. When you try and lose it, and try again and have a little hope because the pregnancy is a few weeks longer and then you lose it, and it sucks so bad,” she sobbed, “You question everything; you wonder what the hell you did to deserve all this. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone ever and certainly not you; I can’t bear to disappoint you.” “Emma, please, please I can’t see you cry like this and know I’ve made you feel this way, please,” he held her tightly. “Shit,” she said pulling away and pulling the overflowing pot off the burner, “Damn it!” “Let me have a look at that,” Brody kissed her burned hand gently, “Do we have a first aid kit?” Emma cringed, “Yes.” “Could you tell me where it might be?” Brody asked scrunching up his nose. “I’ll get it.” He grabbed her and set her on the counter, “I want to.” Brody set the kit on the counter, “Good Lord Emma, this is quite a kit, should we put wheels on it, it’s a bit heavy,” he smiled and opened it. “Is all this necessary, I think you could perform surgery with all the items in here.” Emma smiled and blew on her burn. He took her hand and lightly licked across the red area and blew on it. “Does that feel better?” he asked looking up at her through his startling long dark lashes. “It makes me feel something.” “Oh yeah?” he smiled. “Yes and London will be here soon, so please,” Emma said quietly. “I know what you need Emma,” Brody smiled as he sprayed the burn cream on her hand. “Don’t,” Emma snapped. “Shh,” Brody said as he wrapped her hand. Emma scowled at him, and he bit his cheek, “You’re not funny you’re being...” “Shh, love shh,” Brody said concentrated on wrapping her hand, “What you need to realize is that without you, I would be empty. You are my life, Em. With or without any extra,” he kissed her hand and smiled looking at it. Emma looked down and laughed, “You’re perfect,” she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “We are, together, do you like the bow?” “I love the bow,” Emma laughed, “I’m burning dinner.”
“You are sitting on mine,” Brody whispered as he walked away. *** “Thanks for coming out,” Lila smiled and hugged Emma. “I miss you,” Emma said. “Can you believe how well those two get along?” Lila asked looking at Brody and Mark sitting at the table deep in conversation. “Thank God,” Emma laughed. “We ordered drinks,” Brody said as he pulled out the chair for Emma to sit. “Thank you,” Emma smiled as she sat. “So Mark says all your blood work came back perfect,” Brody said and kissed her hand, “Do you know what that means?” “That we are good to go,” Emma said taking a drink. “Have you found someone?” Lila asked. “No, we have another appointment next week at the fertility clinic,” Emma said looking over the menu. “Emma’s a bit picky,” Brody laughed. “I just need to be sure, it’s important,” Emma scowled. “I agree with you Emma, there are crazy’s out there,” Lila laughed, “She’ll be carrying Brody Hines child, what if...” “Lila, she doesn’t need any more to worry about,” Brody cautioned. Emma looked up at Lila, and they exchanged a nervous glance. “I’ll do it,” Lila said quickly. “What?” Mark gasped. “Why not, I’m healthy, and she’s my best friend in this world, Emma I’ll do it,” Lila smiled. “Lila you don’t have to do this,” Emma laughed, “We’ll find someone.” “No, I want to. I want to do this for you,” Lila said with conviction. “Lila you should truly think about this and discuss it with Mark,” Brody said kindly. “It’s my body, and I say I want to,” Lila said defensively, “Besides, I certainly don’t want your child, and you won’t have to worry about me flaking out.” “You have a career, and a life, don’t be so quick to offer to do this. It isn’t something to take lightly,” Brody stated. Lila laughed, “I can think about it, but I think everyone sitting here knows when I’ve made up my mind about something it doesn’t change,” Lila glanced at Mark who sat quietly looking down. “Brody, can you dance with me?” Emma asked as she stood. “I would love to, my wife,” he laughed. Brody and Emma danced and held each other, the song changed, and another slow song was on. “You needed to give them a minute?” Brody whispered in her ear. “Yeah, he looked upset. This is the longest relationship that Lila’s had in years, they’re perfect together, this shouldn’t come between them,” Emma said resting her head on his chest. “Ok, but she would be perfect,” Brody said and kissed her head. “She needs to worry about her,” Emma said looking up at him. “I know, sorry.” Brody kissed her nose. Their dinner was at the table when they returned. They ate quietly; Mark laughed and looked down shaking his head. Emma looked at him and smiled, and he closed his eyes and sat back. Lila stood abruptly and stormed towards the bathroom, Emma knew to give her a few minutes. “Sorry, Mark,” Emma whispered.
“Emma this isn’t your fault,” Mark smiled. “Well it kind of is,” Emma said uncomfortably. “Hey,” he said and grabbed her hand, “Honestly it just shocked me, kind of messed up my plan for this evening.” “What do you mean?” Emma whispered. Mark took a box out of his pocket and showed her, “I thought she and I were in a different place.” “Oh my goodness Mark, don’t you even think about what just happened with us you...” Emma hugged him and laughed. Brody scowled at his plate and Mark laughed. “Is something amusing; is there something I’m missing?” Brody said trying to retain his anger. Emma sat and smiled and turned to Brody, “He was planning to propose tonight. We screwed that up.” “Oh shit Mark. I’m so sorry,” Brody said apologetically. “Don’t be, it probably just saved me a ton of embarrassment,” Mark blushed. Lila returned and began to eat and stopped and looked at them, “I’m doing this, Mark do you have a problem with that?” she snapped. “No dear,” Mark said and looked at her, “I actually think it’s a wonderful thing to do for someone you love.” “Okay so I’ll go to your next appointment with you so I know what’s going on…” Emma began to interrupt, “It still gives me a few days or you all a few days, I’m ready to do this. Emma I know you would do this for me.” Brody smiled down at the table and squeezed Emma’s hand. Emma continued looking down and saw the ring box still sitting on the table and gasped. Lila followed her eyes and saw the box, “You get a new ring Emma?” Emma’s eyes widened and she looked at Mark, and he laughed. “What’s so funny?” “What the hell,” Mark laughed and took the box, “Lila dear, I’ve known you for a few months now, I love every moment spent with you, even uncomfortable ones like these, and I wanted to ask you something tonight.” “Oh my God,” Emma said and covered her mouth. Mark went down on one knee, “Lila, will you marry me?” “My God get up,” Lila gasped and looked around, “I’m doing this for them Mark, so if this is some sort of…” “You’re a stubborn pain in the ass, I’ve had this for a week, but our schedules never seem to allow this to happen and apparently they won’t for the next nine months or so. I love that you want to do this for your friends, our friends, and I love you. Marry Me?” “Fine!” Lila snapped and then laughed and covered her mouth. Mark hugged her and put the ring on her finger and they kissed. “It’ll have to be a long engagement, I want a big wedding, and I want to have a baby for them first,” Lila said in her authoritative voice. He laughed, “You win on that one, but you’re going to have to realizing this will be a partnership.” Lila smiled, “I love you, thank you.” *** Emma’s fertility treatments had started almost two weeks ago. When Emma had done the treatments before she had given herself the injections, Troy wouldn’t. She didn’t argue or fight about it, she just handled it herself. It was completely different this time; Brody gave her the shots every day. “Good morning Em,” he kissed her, and she sat up, “Oh no, lie down love.” Emma laid down, and Brody pulled up her nightgown and kissed her belly. He opened the alcohol pad
and gently cleaned the injection site. “Okay Emma I’m very sorry about this, just a little pinch, followed by a burn, I’m so sorry Love,” he said as he pulled out the needle and set it on the table and covered her belly with light kisses. Emma laid back and smiled. It was the same every time, the kisses, the gentle cleaning, the step by step narrative, and more kisses followed by… “Oh God Brody…” Emma moaned. His tongue spread her softly, “Like silk,” he purred. Brody circled her clit with his tongue, avoiding applying pressure, bringing her to the edge and slowly sucking ever so gently so that she was almost there and he then moved lower plunging his skilled tongue inside her lapping upward skimming her g spot and then back to the teasing until she couldn’t take it anymore and then in an instant he would push inside her, letting out a groan that’s sound alone could cause her to go off. “Em,” Brody winced and pulled back. “Sorry, oh damn….stop, stop, stop,” Emma moaned. Brody handed her a pillow, and she screamed into it and felt him jerk inside of her. “Emma,” Brody breathed rolling to his side. “I’m sorry, I love you,” she said between breaths. Emma took to biting a pillow to muffle her moans so that she wouldn’t wake London and sometimes one wasn’t available she would use Brody. “I love you Em,” he laughed and pulled her into his arms. Brody was there every step of the way; he even scheduled his upcoming tour around the possible date of the baby that may be theirs one day soon and around London’s school schedule. *** “Wake up love,” Brody said, “I need you now.” “You need me all the time,” Emma giggled. “I do but in a much different way today,” he smiled. Emma sat up and smiled, “You’re happy.” “Yes Mrs. Hines and you should really try it. It seems the only time you smile these past few weeks is when London’s around or when, well when I’m about to attack you,” he kissed her neck and moved slowly down. “Hold up there hot stuff, you need to save your swimmers for later,” Emma laughed. “Awe I see, point made. You’re going to make me come, in a very public place, do you know how hot that is?” Brody growled, and he moved his hands swiftly down between her legs and she moaned. “Brody,” Emma breathed out. He smiled and whipped the covers off of her and lifted her shirt as he looked down at her, “You have breakfast ready Emma— it would be rude of me not to eat.” *** Emma picked up a magazine from the rack in the sperm collection room at the fertility clinic. “So this is fun, we could watch a movie,” she said and picked up the bin of Blu- rays sitting next to the television. “We should have brought our honeymoon video,” he smiled and hugged her. “You said not until our anniversary,” Emma laughed. “We’ve never watched porn,” Brody said flipping through the bin smirking. “What’s so funny?”
“Well how about Assman and Throbbin?” Brody laughed, “Oh no this one might work, Raiders of the Lost Womb, huh Emma?” Emma laughed and so did he. “Oh I have just the one Assvengers, Skyballs, oh how about the Dark Bone Rises?” he laughed loudly. “Maybe that’s not a good idea,” Emma giggled. Emma watched his expressions as he looked through the movies. His facial expressions were so expressive when it was just them, she didn’t wonder what he was thinking. It was much different from when they first met, the mask he adorned was held in place then. Hiding his true self from everyone. Emma thought it must come with the territory. In the public eye, he was a mystery, just as he had worked so hard to be. But day by day he was coming out of his shell. “What the hell decade are these from, honestly these women seem to literally have monkeys upon their laps, Emma don’t they know about wax or hair removal or just trimming?” He looked disgusted, and Emma laughed. “Step away from the porn, Music Man,” Emma laughed. “No, this is classic stuff Em; do you think we could get the receptionist to bring us some popcorn?” Brody smiled, “Make it a movie date?” “Do you see deep throat in there?” Emma asked quietly. Brody smiled at her amusingly, “You’ve watched …” “No, but I’m sure I could improvise you know, over here,” she walked towards the couch. “Emma how many blow jobs do you think have been given over there?” Brody smiled. “Revolting.” “Exactly,” Brody pushed the buzzer and the nurse knocked and came in. “Could we take this to my car?” Brody said holding up the collection container, “I fear I may have performance anxiety in this room.” Emma giggled and covered her face. “I suppose, um you could use the back door,” the receptionist blushed. “Wouldn’t that taint the…” Brody began. “Alright thank you, we will be right back,” Emma laughed and dragged him out the door. They laughed the entire way to the car. “Emma we could make better porn than that,” Brody laughed. “Okay let’s start now,” Emma undid his pants. “You really can recover from that so fast?” Brody asked as she released him from his pants. “Um, we have a job to do here Music Man,” Emma said took him in her mouth. “Emma stop let me…” Brody started. “You’re going to get a blow job and empty in this cup,” Emma began again. “It’s going to take a while,” he laughed. “Do you want a baby Brody?” Emma sat next to him obviously frustrated. “This can’t be a job Em,” he said scowling. “What’s wrong? You do know what we are here for right?” Emma smiled. “Just...Not what I’m used to Emma…” Brody ran his hands through his hair. Emma smiled, “Well you couldn’t give me control just once could you?” “What?” He asked confused. “Sex Brody, couldn’t let me make you come once without being in control. So here’s the deal,” Emma said hiking her skirt up, “I’m going to get myself off right here, right now, and there isn’t a damn thing I’m going to let you do about it.” Emma stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked hard hollowing her cheeks. Brody’s eyes widened and he started to move towards her, “No.”
Emma pulled her feet up on the leather seat and pulled her panties aside and continued sucking her finger. She saw Brody start to harden and slowly reached down and began to rub her clit. Brody growled, “Emma.” She raised her eyebrow and let out a breath, “Brody?” “My God,” he gasped. Brody lunged forward and put his hand under hers. “You seem ready now,” Emma moaned. “You seemed to have made me that way,” his mouth crashed over hers and his fingers pushed into her. “Brody, damn it,” Emma moaned. *** “Good morning Lila,” Brody said opening the car door for her and handed her flowers. “Really Hines?” Lila laughed. “Yes, Emma insisted that if we’re implanting you today we better at least give you flowers, right Emma?” He said sitting next to her in the car. Emma smiled, “If you’ve changed…” “Emma,” Lila smiled, “I only ask that you do one thing in return for me.” “Anything.” “You will be my coach and my workout buddy after I give birth,” Lila laughed. “I’ll do both, and I’ll cook for you to,” Emma said hugging her. *** Emma, Lila, and Brody sat in the doctor’s office waiting to be called in. “Well the blood work came back and it appears Lila’s HCG levels are very high meaning the home test was accurate even if it was a couple days early,” Dr. Stork scowled. Brody looked at Emma and smiled. She hugged Lila, and they both cried. “We’ll do an ultrasound to see how many babies we are looking at,” Dr. Stork smiled. *** When Emma and Brody were alone in the car, he looked at her and smiled again. Emma smiled back and looked out the window. “Em, what is it?” He asked pulling her towards him. “Nothing, I’m happy,” she smiled and put her face into his chest. And very nervous and scared to be happy for one minute because what happens if…she thought hiding her face against him. “Me too,” he kissed her head, “Three huh?” Emma giggled, “Yep.” “Does that worry you love?” Brody asked. “No, I just won’t get that much sleep,” Emma smiled up at him, “Well worth it.” “You won’t be alone Em, I’m in this as deep as you. Midnight feedings, diaper changes, all of it,” he smiled and kissed her nose. “I’ll remember you said that,” Emma nuzzled into his neck. “You won’t have to. It wasn’t an empty promise Emma, I want this as much if not more than you,” Brody held her tightly. Emma returned his embrace and stayed in his arms. ***
The phone rang at two in the morning and Emma reached for it blindly in the dark. Brody shifted in his sleep as she scrambled off the bed. “Hello,” Emma whispered as she walked into the bathroom so she wouldn’t disturb Brody. “Sorry to call you at this hour Emma, I don’t know what to do…” Lila began to cry. “Lila, are you okay?” Emma was stunned. Lila wasn’t one to cry. She was always so strong and levelheaded. She thought things through and didn’t act without doing so beforehand. “Emma I’m bleeding, I’m so sorry. I knew you would want to know. I called you before calling Mark because these are your babies,” Lila apologized softly. “Okay, but it’s your body Lila, call him if you need him okay?” Emma said quietly. “Emma,” Lila said softly. “I can come now,” Emma stated. “Ok, but you better tell him first Emma...okay?” Lila instructed her. “Okay, I’ll be there soon,” Emma hung up the phone and sat on the bathroom floor and silently sobbed into her knees. When she finally stopped she grabbed a washcloth and wet it under the water. She looked in the mirror and saw Brody standing in the doorway. “Em, come here,” he said and opened his arms and walked towards her. “I’m so sorry, I knew this would happen. I’ve been through this, I never wanted to hurt you or Lila this way,” she cried, “I’m so sorry.” “Shh, come now. I knew what could happen and so did Lila. I’m so sorry you’re reliving this,” he held her tightly and kissed her head. “I just need a few minutes,” Emma tried to pull away, “I’ll be fine, I’m sorry.” “Don’t do that Em,” he held her tighter, “It’s us together, and we’ll do this together.” Brody held her and let her cry. Emma wasn’t sure if she couldn’t stop crying because of the hurt she was feeling for herself, or for Brody or Lila. She couldn’t stop it though, and she realized she was crying for all of them and for the babies she had lost before. Brody held her and let her cry.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN After the appointment with the fertility specialist, all three of them had decided they would wait it out Lila’s body to naturally miscarry instead of surgical procedure that had been suggested. Mark had agreed it was a good option considering any surgery was risky. “Your HCG levels have lowered but not considerably. We are going to make sure everything has passed and do a vaginal Ultra sound,” Dr. Grear explained. “Would you like us to wait outside?” Emma asked Lila. “You canstay. Sorry Hines, but that means you’re going to have to leave,” Lila smiled. Brody understood, he certainly didn’t need to be in the room, but he still wanted Emma to be alright. She hadn’t completely distanced herself from him, but when he walked in a room he often saw her looking out a window deep in thought. His normal reaction was to hug her and ask her if she was alright or what she was thinking. He had stopped doing this when he realized it was incredibly repetitious and she was probably getting tired of telling him the same thing over and over again. He wouldn’t ask her to go through this again and had even looked into the adoption process deeper. Not that he felt it one hundred percent necessary to have a child, but he wanted her to be happy. Hell, he wanted that connection with her. Brody knew that Troy would forever have her love, because of London and at times that made him squirm. Not that he was jealous; he knew her heart was his forever. The door to the exam room opened, and he looked up at Emma’s face. She had tears coming down her cheeks, but she smiled. “Em,” he went to hug her. “Don’t, I want to show you something in here,” Emma smiled as she wiped her face. Brody looked confused, and she laughed, “Cover your eyes, Lila doesn’t want to give you a peep show.” He started to protest, and she giggled, “Just do it!” Emma led Brody to the head of the exam table. The nurse had draped a blanket covering Lila’s private area. “Open your eyes,” Emma said with a smile. Brody opened his eyes, and the ultra sound technician enlarged the screen. Emma took his hand, “Well if look really carefully, and you’ll see that little flutter inside what looks like a peanut.” Brody shook his head, “Yes I see it, and does this mean we have to have Lila go through…” “Brody, one of our babies is still growing inside her, that little flutter, that’s its heart,” Emma beamed, “We’re still going to have a baby, you’re going to be a Daddy!” Brody watched silently for a few seconds, and a smile began to creep across his face. “Are you quite sure?” He asked peeling his eyes off the screen and finally looking at Emma. “We’re at eleven weeks,” Emma beamed, “Almost…” “We can tell London at Christmas Em, we can still do that,” Brody lifted her and twirled her around and kissed her. “Yes, yes we can,” Emma said slowly pulling away. “Thank you!” Brody exclaimed and kissed Lila and then the nurse and finally looked up and said, “Thank you,” to God.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Before they left for England Emma and Brody gave London a package while he and Emma sat back and watched her. “What’s this for?” London smiled. “Just open it,” Brody laughed. London pulled out a shirt and read it, “Big Sister…big sister?” “Yes,” Brody was about ready to burst. “Is Mom...No she can’t be... Mom?” London asked Brody and Emma gave London the PG version of the pregnancy. London cried and Brody though that she was upset and looked devastated. Emma laughed, “Happy tears, Brody.” “Very happy tears,” London pounced on him and hugged him. *** Emma and Brody sat in front of the fire place at his home in England, it was their first night. They had planned to spend two weeks, London’s entire Christmas vacation there. Troy would be joining them on Christmas Eve with Caroline and Henry. Emma had been surprised when Brody had suggested it. He knew it was weighing on her heart being away from her family and keeping London from her father on a day like Christmas. “You tired, Em?” Brody asked as he walked in catching her yawning as he set a glass of wine on the floor next to her. “Sit with me?” she smiled. Brody sat with his back against the couch and pulled her back against his chest and held her. “It’s beautiful here,” she smiled up at him. “I’ve always enjoyed it, truly peaceful and relaxing. I’ve literally fallen asleep in front of this fire at least twice during each holiday I’ve taken,” he said gazing down at her. Emma smiled and pulled his arms tighter around her waist. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like…” Brody stopped. “Go on,” she rubbed his hand gently. Brody smiled, “What it would be like to have someone to truly share this with.” “But you and Ariel spent time here right?” Emma looked at him over her shoulder. “Sure, a few times. When I spent time here she would normally be working. It wasn’t lively enough for her. To me it’s peaceful, its home. I feel much the same comfort here as I do at our home in the states. It’s always brought me tranquility when I’ve been here alone. But with you and London here I have that same peace, the serenity, but it’s so full in here Em, so full,” he sighed as he held his hand to his heart. Emma felt her eyes warm and a pain in her chest. She couldn’t possibly ask for anything more in a man than Brody was. Brody was beautiful, funny, deeply emotional, protective and absolutely, completely, the love of her life. Emma knew there were parts of him that were still a mystery to her, they’ve only been together for three months, and still she knew him. She knew his heart, and she knew he had given it to her to hold and cherish forever. Emma planned to do just that forever and as sure as she was about that, she knew he too — would hold and cherish hers. When Emma looked up again, Brody smiled down at her and kissed her lightly, “Em, don’t be unhappy. None of that amounts to anything any longer. I’m literally happier than ever before. I hope to do
the same for you.” Emma kissed Brody and went to pull away. He gently cupped her chin and pressed his nose to hers and closed his eyes. He moved his hand down her throat lightly skimming his fingertips across her collar bone and to the back of her head. He kissed her gently and ran his tongue across her jawbone and then lightly nibbled her ear. Emma turned her body around to face him, and he ran his hand down her spine. “You imbue my soul, my spirit, Emma,” he whispered kissing her lips softly. A whimper escaped Emma’s mouth, Brody ran his tongue across her lower lip and pulled her onto his lap. He held her arms to her side and kissed down the front of her cotton tee shirt. Emma breathed out a breath she had been holding. Brody held her tight to his body as he kissed her, stroking his tongue up and down hers mimicking how his tongue pleased her in other ways, causing her to push into the growing bulge in his cotton pajama pants “Em,” his low voice vibrated against her cheek. Brody released Emma’s hands, and she held his face lightly as she kissed him. Her tongue entered his mouth as his hands lightly cupped her rear. She ran her fingertips gently across his unshaven face, and her hands moved to his head lightly holding his hair and turning his head slightly to the left. She kissed down his neck and then back up. Brody’s hand skimmed up her back and gently fisted her hair and did the same to her neck as her back arched slightly, pressing her breast against his chest. He sat back and looked into her eyes as she pulled his shirt over his head and he did the same to hers. Brody looked down at her black lacey bra and let out a breath before he kissed her shoulder and let his tongue run underneath her strap before pulling it down over her shoulder. Emma grabbed his face and stroked his face as she kissed his again. She was on fire, his taste, his smell, combined with her need, and brought her body to a place she never knew existed. She had experienced multiple orgasms and mind blowing sex with Brody every time, but right now as she kissed him and he was holding her lightly she felt for the first time that she was giving as much as he was and that was mind altering. Emma pulled his pants over his hips as he stroked her back and ran his hand lightly down the back of her underwear. She took him in her hand, and he snarled. She felt the heat of his body against hers rise ten degrees, she pushed her panties to the side and guided him into her. She circled her hips slowly filling herself with him inch by glorious inch. Brody sat up and pushed into her further, and she felt the pressure in her belly button as she continued to circle her hips, she started to slow down feeling the pressure everywhere including in her bladder. Brody began circling her and hitting her g spot with each move. Emma began to pull away and he kissed her hard on the mouth and pushed into her hitting perfectly on that spot with each thrust. Emma couldn’t think or stop, but she felt her body explode, and she began to feel like… “Em, damn,” Brody held her against him and bucked wildly until her name vibrated across her neck. “Brody I…” Emma’s face was crimson, and he pulled her against him. “Wow, Em,” he said breathlessly. “I’m so sorry — I don’t know why that happened,” Emma said softly. “I can’t wait until it happens again Em…damn,” Brody said sitting back, his eyes on fire. Emma’s eyes were closed, and he was confused. “Em look at me,” Brody chuckled. “Nope,” she said squinting her eyes tightly together. “Why,” he laughed. “Brody I think I just p…” Emma began. Brody was laughing out loud now, and Emma opened her eyes and scowled at him. “It’s called female ejaculation Em, you didn’t give me a golden shower,” he smiled and kissed her
cheek. “That’s happened to you before?” Emma asked. “No Love, I have the wrong parts for that,” he laughed. Emma pushed him away. “I’ve heard of it, never experienced it, but it was hot as hell, Em. How are you feeling?” Brody cupped her chin and looked at her. “Fine,” she whispered. Brody kissed her, and she let out a breath. “Fine, that’s it Em?” Brody prodded. “No, it was great but, that can’t happen again,” Emma said standing up. “Like hell it won’t!” Brody stood and grabbed her. Emma scowled and turned away from him. “You need to get over this,” Brody grabbed her by the waist. “No, I need to clean up,” Emma snapped. Brody brought her back harshly against his chest, “I love you, next time it’ll be in my mouth!” Brody nipped her neck and covered it with kisses. Emma looked at him and shook her head slowly back and forth. “Fucking hot, Em,” Brody kissed her head. “Yeah, real hot, we should probably go through mattresses every other day,” Emma turned back and walked towards the bathroom as Brody laughed. *** Christmas morning was beautiful. London woke early, Brody heard her outside the door and got up and tiptoed to the door. “What are you doing young lady?” Brody smiled. London jumped and covered her mouth, and he chuckled. “I just wanted to peek and see what Santa brought, Mom said I had to wait until seven, it’s almost seven right?” London said sweetly. “Well actually its five Miss London, but I’m also extremely excited. Maybe we could sneak down together but then right back up here okay?” Brody grinned. London and Brody snuck down the stairs slowly and tip toed into the large living room. The tree was lit in white lights, silver tinsel, and deep red ornaments. The room was glowing and beautiful. London giggled and walked quickly to the stockings hanging on the fireplace mantel. “Can I look?” She whispered. Brody smiled, “As long as you don’t move anything, your mom may be upset if she were to miss seeing your beautiful face taking this all in.” “Hey London, would you help me hang these?” Brody asked pulling out a box of deep red bows. “They’re very pretty, I would love to,” London smiled. Brody and London finished hanging the bows and Brody snickered. Brody looked up and saw Troy walking into the room. “You’re in so much trouble kiddo,” Troy beamed. “Don’t tell on me Daddy,” London giggled. “I don’t know, you even have Brody here sucked in,” Troy grabbed her and hugged her, “Merry Christmas, London.” “Merry Christmas, Daddy,” London hugged him back. “I’ll go wake your Mom,” Brody said as he slipped out of the room. All the gifts were opened, and everyone was sitting down at the dining room table when the doorbell
rang. Brody walked to the door and opened it. “Rebecca,” Brody smiled and hugged her. “I brought someone,” Rebecca whispered into his ear. “Hello Son,” Robert Hines smiled at his son. “Father,” Brody extended his hand and shook his father’s hand. “I heard you were home and that I have a daughter- in- law,” he said as he looked down. “Come in please,” Brody opened the door wider allowing them in. Emma walked into the foyer and smiled, “Rebecca, Merry Christmas.” “Em, this is my father Robert,” Brody forced a smile. “A pleasure to meet you, finally,” Emma smiled and hugged him. “The pleasure is mine,” Robert responded softly. “Well come in, meet everyone, dinner is almost ready to be served,” Emma smiled as Brody kissed her head. “I’ll help you,” Brody said softly. “You should introduce your family to everyone, I can handle this.” Brody introduced Robert to Henry, Caroline, London, and Troy. They all shook hands, and Henry went into the kitchen and carved the Prime Rib. “Robert looks a lot like Brody doesn’t he?” Henry smiled politely to his daughter. “Sure does,” Emma agreed. “Do things seem off between them?” Henry asked inquisitively. “I don’t know, I’ve never met him Dad, so I’ll have to reserve judgment,” Emma smiled and kissed him swiftly on the cheek, “Let’s go its dinner time.” “Alright Princess,” Henry smiled, “I still have one last gift you know.” “Of course, could we do it after dinner?” Emma asked. “Sure Emma,” Henry followed Emma into the dining room. Everyone appeared to be having a great time. The food was great and conversation flowing. Troy and London played with her new toys as Rebecca and Robert watched and laughed. Brody was helping Caroline clean up from dinner. “Emma, got a minute?” Henry asked, grabbing a leather bound book and then her hand. “Of course,” Emma smiled sadly. Each year since Emma could remember Henry and her would take time to remember Elizabeth. The book was full of photos from Elizabeth’s birth through the holiday and every special moment in between. Emma’s favorite photos had always been of the two of them playing on the floor in front of the family Christmas tree. Henry had an artist do composite sketches of what Elizabeth would look like each year. Through the years, they looked less eerie and more like photos. “She’s beautiful Daddy,” Emma said as they turned the pages. “She is, Princess,” Henry agreed. Caroline and Brody walked into the room and stood behind them looking over their shoulders as they turned the pages. Starting at the beginning, over and over again. Henry held Caroline’s hand and kissed it. “Look at her, she was beautiful then,” Henry said softly. “I’m sure she’s just as beautiful now, sitting up in heaven with the angels,” Caroline wiped a tear. Brody looked at Emma and smiled, he knew this must be her sister that had been taken years ago. Caroline and Henry excused themselves and Brody sat next to Emma and smiled. “She’s beautiful, Emma,” he kissed her head. “Yeah,” Emma said and wiped a tear away, “Okay, let’s go back.” “Em, if you need a few minutes that would be understandable,” Brody rubbed her hand. “This happens every year,” she smiled, “I’m fine with it. I wish I could fix it, change the past, but I
can’t. But we have family in there, and we should get back.” Brody continued looking at the album after Emma left the room *** “Do you three think you can come to Uncle Bo’s New Year’s party?” Rebecca asked as she walked into the study. “I think it best if we didn’t,” Brody smiled looking up from the leather bound album. “What’s this?” Rebecca asked looking over his shoulder. “A photo book. Emma’s sister Elizabeth was taken from a shopping mall years ago. Henry has sketches done each year so they can see what she would look like today,” Brody answered. “Wow, isn’t that morbid?” Rebecca whispered. “Well I guess if it’s the way they choose to grieve — it should be supported,” Brody answered sitting back in his chair running his hands through his hair. “May I?” Rebecca asked. “Sure,” Brody smiled. “Why won’t you come to the party?” Rebecca asked as she looked through the book. “It’s not a place London should be,” Brody laughed. “Her father and grandparents are here, you could skip out for a bit,” Rebecca prodded. Brody turned to the doorway and smiled at Emma. He walked up and kissed her cheek. “If you want to we can,” Emma whispered into his ear. “We can discuss, yes?” he whispered back. “Of course.” *** “You’re sure about this?” Brody asked as he drove. “We could always skip it and I could show you a few places.” “I’m fine if you are,” Emma rubbed his hand. “I told you about his parties Em,” Brody warned again. “Yes I’m aware. Brody I’ve kept you all to myself for months now. I don’t want to keep you from the people you love,” Emma giggled. “I’m with the people I love, you and London, you aren’t keeping me from anything Emma,” Brody said as he pulled up the long winding driveway. He got out of the car and handed the key to the valet and opened Emma’s door. Emma watched him and knew he was uncomfortable. “Brody,” she said and stopped dead in her tracks tugging lightly at his hand holding him back, “We don’t have to do this, you seem…” “Brody!” A tall older handsome man in a tux stood at the top of the stairs leading to the mansion before them. “Too late now, love,” Brody said looking nervously at her. “Bo this is Emma, my wife,” Brody introduced them. Bo grabbed Emma and hugged her tightly and kissed her on the mouth. Emma pulled back and looked at Brody. “Bo…” Brody’s voice carried warning. Bo laughed, “I couldn’t help myself – she’s exquisite, come.” Emma held tightly to Brody’s hand as Bo led them into the party by her other hand.
The party was in full swing, there were at least a hundred people in the ballroom. Emma noticed that most of the men were her age or older and women were all beautiful and young. Brody held her tightly against him. “Dance,” Brody said with his arms around her waist walking through the crowd to the dance floor. Emma looked up at him, and he knew she was uneasy. “We’ll be leaving very soon,” Brody said holding her tightly against his chest as they danced. “I’m fine, Brody,” Emma smiled. “That’s a fake smile Em. I knew this was a bad idea damn it,” Brody scolded himself. “Brody stop. I’ve always been a bit socially awkward, I’m fine, okay?” She said and kissed him gently. “I love you Em,” Brody rubbed her back. After a few songs Emma felt a tap on her shoulder, “May I cut in?” “My wife and I are dancing, Bo,” Brody said with his brow raised. “It’s okay Brody,” Emma smiled. It took a few seconds for Brody to release her and then when he did he glared at Bo. “You’re beautiful Emma,” Bo said smiling at her. “Thank you,” Emma blushed. “How did you meet my nephew?” “Through a friend,” Emma answered. “So you like rock stars, huh?” Bo chuckled. “I wasn’t aware he was at the time,” Emma said scanning the room for Brody. Emma saw Brody arguing with Rebecca and grew concerned. “He thinks I’m going to try to get you upstairs,” Bo laughed, “But you don’t seem like the type.” “No, I’m not...whatever that means,” Emma still watched Brody, “I should go.” Rebecca grabbed Brody’s hand and dragged him to the dance floor. “He’s fine,” Bo said with a laugh, “Always been quick tempered.” “I haven’t seen that side of him, protective yes, but never without reason,” Emma said sticking up for her husband. Bo waved to a waitress nearby. “A drink for you.” Emma needed a drink, something to take the edge off; she wanted Brody to have a good time and thought he may not be because she was nervous. She wanted desperately for him to never feel like she was trying to keep him from his family. She knew how she would feel if she couldn’t be around her family and he went out of his way to make everything so perfect for her, always. “Well look at you,” Bo laughed and motioned for the waitress again, “Have another.” “Thank you,” Emma smiled and tossed it back. Brody saw her and stormed over towards her. “Emma are you alright?” Brody said cupping her face and searching her eyes. “I am,” Emma smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and kissed him. “Slow down love,” Brody pulled her against his chest. “What the hell did you give her to drink?” Brody snapped at Bo. “I don’t know just something the waitress brought,” Bo patted his shoulder and laughed as he walked away. “Hey Music Man,” Emma slurred, “Is that Ariel?” Brody looked up and saw Ariel walking down the grand staircase. “What in bloody hell is she doing here?” He snapped. “I don’t know,” Emma laughed. “Em, are you alright?” Brody asked lifting her face to his.
“No, I’m…” Emma’s eyes closed and he felt her body become weightless. *** “What the hell did you give her?” Emma heard Brody yelling at someone. “I gave her a drink, two drinks actually,” Bo snarled back. “What the fuck was in it Bo?” Brody yelled again. “The wait staff brought it…” Bo snapped. “Well I suggest you go find out what the fuck it was Bo, before I do it myself,” Brody threatened. A door shut, and Emma heard another voice. “Is she alright Brody?” “She fucking better be!” Brody growled. “Hey Brody did your wife have too much to drink?” “Rebecca, what the fuck is she doing here?” Brody said through his teeth, “Ariel comes every year, Brody,” Rebecca explained. “He knows,” Ariel laughed. “Rebecca, get her the fuck out of here!” Brody’s voice was harsh and direct. Emma heard a door shut, and then felt him lift her onto his lap. “I’m so sorry Em,” he said as he kissed her head over and over again. Emma’s head was clearing, and she began to open her eyes. “Em?” Brody said cupping her face and looking into her eyes. “Hi,” she whispered, “I’m tired Brody.” “Okay love, rest a bit then we’ll leave,” Brody’s eyes showed hurt, “I’m so sorry.” “I took care of it Brody,” Bo said as he walked in the room. “Took care of what, do you care to fucking fill me in?” Brody snapped quietly. “Her drinks contained additives,” Bo began. “You drugged my wife?!” Emma kept her eyes closed and snuggled in tighter to Brody. “I did not DRUG your wife. The wait staff said someone was putting a small dose of a liquid drug called Forget Me Not into the drinks. They’ve been dismissed and dealt with,” Bo snapped at him. “I want to know what the fuck it was,” Brody began to shake slightly. “I’ll have it analyzed but there wasn’t enough to do any permanent damage. I can assure you, she’ll be fine,” Bo looked down at Emma. “From what I understand in high doses she could be out for a couple days, but it wasn’t a large dose Brody and I’m sorry,” Bo explained. “You’re sorry, what the fuck BO! You’re sorry?” Brody was tense and shaking. “You need to calm down Brody, there is nothing else I can possibly do, I’ve taken care of it,” Bo snapped. Emma sat up and looked at Brody, and he let out a deep breath, “You’re awake.” “I am, and I’m going to be fine. I would like to go home Brody,” Emma whispered. “Okay I can change our flight,” Brody said holding her tightly. “No back to your…” Emma began. “Ours, Emma, our place,” Brody kissed her and stood up. “I’m very sorry Emma,” Bo said softly. “Okay,” Emma said quietly. Brody let go of her hand to grab his jacket and turned back to her and saw panic in her eyes. He pulled her into him and held her. “I’m not going to let this go,” he snarled at Bo.
“It would be best if you did Brody. I’ll handle it. You take your wife home now,” Bo looked at Emma, “I am truly sorry Emma. You need to think about your family and keep him in check.” Brody let go of Emma and lunged at Bo. They struggled and fell back into the doorway causing the door to the ballroom to swing open and the crowd to break apart as Brody and Bo tumbled onto the floor. Emma ran to them and tried to pull Brody off of Bo. Rebecca grabbed her and held her back as two security men pulled Brody off of Bo. “You better not make threats you fucking prick!” Brody screamed. Bo spit a mouthful of blood onto the floor and took his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and wiped his face. “It wasn’t a threat Brody, but now it’s a warning. Get him the hell out of here!” Bo’s voice boomed through the now quiet ballroom. “You need to remember who I am Bo, I don’t easily scare,” Brody laughed. Emma grabbed Brody’s hand, “Please Brody, please I want to go.” Brody looked at her and saw tears welling in her eyes and felt her tremble. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head and glared at Bo. “Brody, get her out of here,” Rebecca said pushing him towards the door, “I’ll call in the morning, go home.” Brody’s body encased Emma as they walked through the crowd. He stopped for a moment and looked up at a woman in front of him. She quickly disappeared through the doorway, and he continued walking briskly until they reached the car, and he put Emma into the front seat. *** Brody and Emma drove silently for ten minutes. She watched as his thumb thumped nervously on the steering wheel. “Brody,” Emma whispered and took his hand. “Not now, Em,” he said as his nostrils flared and he rubbed her hand gently. “Then when?” Emma asked pulling her hand away. Brody downshifted and quickly pulled over. He jumped out of the car and paced back and forth as Emma sat in the car and watched him. He loosened his tie and clenched his fists. Emma stepped out of the car and cautiously walked towards him. “Brody, please,” Emma said and began to cry. He grabbed her and held her tightly and she felt his heart beating hard and fast against her chest. After a few minutes, he began to relax. “It’s not your fault,” Emma said and kissed him. Brody let out a breath and opened his eyes and looked down at her, “I shouldn’t have taken you there.” “It was my fault, I thought I was keeping you from your family,” Emma cried. He grabbed her face and wiped her tears with his thumb, “YOU are my family, Emma. You and London and our child, you’re all I need.” “I’m so sorry,” Emma wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t you dare be sorry, I took you there this is my fault,” Brody yelled. “No, it isn’t Brody, no it isn’t... I should have listened, I knew you had reservations I never should’ve pushed,” Emma continued to cry. “I’ll take care of this. Everything will be alright Emma I promise you everything will be fine love,” Brody softly whispered into her neck. The phone rang as they neared the town. “This is Brody,” he snapped as he answered. “Hello its Henry, I just wanted to let you know your father’s here,” Henry said quietly.
“Alright, have him sit still we’ll be there in less than an hour. Thank you Henry,” Brody hung up the phone, “My father is at our home.” “Brody I don’t want my father to know what happened, he over reacts…” Emma began. “It wouldn’t be over reacting Emma, but I understand. If you change your mind I’ll talk to him,” Brody kissed her hand. “I just don’t want him to worry; he’s been through enough with everything that happened to Elizabeth. I have you, and I know we’ll be fine,” Emma was sincere, and he knew it. “I’ll always make sure you are alright, I promise you that, until my last breath Emma, I will keep you safe,” Brody’s voice was deep and angry. “Thank you,” Emma said squeezing his hand. “I don’t know why he’s at our house, but I need to speak to him alone,” Brody said softly. “Okay, I’m tired anyway,” Emma began. “How tired Em…you know we should get you to a hospital,” Brody began to slow down as if he was changing directions. “I’m seriously just tired if I feel any differently I promise to tell you okay?” Emma interrupted. “Promise me Em?” Brody said as he pulled over. “Of course,” Emma smiled. *** Brody tucked Emma in and kissed her, “I’ll be back soon.” “Brody I don’t know what the relationship is with your father, and I hope you understand when I say this, he’s still your father. Regardless of what has happened in the past, please don’t be angry at him He’s going to be our child’s grandfather, people can change Brody...they just need reasons to. Look at Troy, he’s trying,” Emma hugged him, and he kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back soon Emma,” Brody walked out the door and down the stairs and found his father in the study looking through the music library. “Father,” Brody said as he approached. “Son,” Robert smiled, “Are you alright? Is your wife alright? I was on my way here to talk when Rebecca called; I was extremely shocked to hear you went to your Uncle’s.” “Everything is fine for now,” Brody wanted to say more but stopped. “No, Brody, not for now, you have to let it go. Bo has changed. He isn’t right, he’s…” Robert stopped. “Why aren’t you there father? You never missed a party, not since mom became ill. Or as you told us, left you,” Brody snapped. “I can’t change the past Brody, but I do understand that what I told you was wrong. She wouldn’t let me take care of her. She didn’t want you kids to know she was sick. It killed me Brody. God — do you know what it’s like to let someone walk away knowing…” Robert stopped and stood up and walked towards the fireplace, “I’m truly sorry, son.” “Alright Dad, alright,” Brody walked over to him and patted his shoulder. “What I did after was inexcusable; I didn’t understand that until later. I was angry at her, so angry. I think that’s why I leaned on Bo and his lifestyle. She hated him and all that he was, and I truly felt I hated her at that time. I know it was wrong now, I…” Robert wiped away a tear, “I loved her so much. I turned away from all my family and all they could have offered our family because I knew it was all corrupt and that living with nothing but her love was more than enough. And then you all came...” “Dad, I understand alright, I do. I forgive you,” Brody hugged him. He understood what loving someone truly could do to you, finally he knew. “Thank you, thank you so much,” Robert and Brody hugged for a long time. “Can I get you a drink?” Brody said stepping back and drying his eyes.
“I don’t drink anymore,” Robert smiled. “Excellent, tea then?” Brody asked. “I’m alright, but if you need something go ahead,” Robert sat next to the fire, “And then we need to talk.” “I’m fine, tell me what’s on your mind,” Brody sat in the chair next to him. “Stay away from Bo. I’m serious, Brody. You have started a wonderful thing; London’s Child will help so many.” Robert warned. “I have no intention of going back there. But he made a threat…” Brody began. “Just let it go,” Robert was visibly upset. “Has he threatened you?” Brody snarled. “No.” Robert stood up and walked away. “Dad, I want you to come to the States, we would like you to stay with us, we have plenty of room,” Brody offered. “Okay,” Robert smiled, “Let me tie up a few things around here. I’m going to be a Grandfather huh Brody?” “You are,” Brody smiled. Brody and Robert talked for another hour before they hugged and Robert insisted on leaving. Brody went upstairs, and Emma was in the bathroom. “You alright, Em?” Brody asked as he walked in the bathroom. “Of course, I just had to use the bathroom,” Emma smiled, “Are you alright?” “Wonderful actually. Dad has agreed to leave here and move to the States. He’s sober, and I understand why things turned into such a mess for him. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I lost you Emma,” Brody grabbed her face and kissed her. Emma knew he had a rough night and that he needed her. She pulled back and let out a breath, “I want you.” “Then have me,” he said and grabbed her and kissed her hard on the mouth. Emma wrapped her legs around him, and he carried her to the bed. She slowly began to unbutton his shirt as he kissed down her neck. She struggled trying to unbutton his shirt as he lifted her shirt over her head and grabbed her breast and squeezed it gently. Emma moaned and continued unbuttoning his shirt. “Fuck it,” he snarled and ripped his shirt off and continued kissing her. Emma released him from his pants and began to stroke him. Brody gasped and bit down on her nipple as he rubbed the other between his fingers. He pulled her up off the bed and pushed her up against the wall and wrapped her legs around him as he licked and sucked her breast. He moved into her slowly and she moaned. “I will never lose you,” he groaned in her ear, “I love you Emma and you are my life.” Brody continued kissing her neck and pounding into her as she hung on for dear life. “Brody,” she moaned and felt her body explode. Brody laid her on the bed and continued slamming into her until she came again and he finally finished and lay on top of her. “I love you,” he said against her cheek, “So much Em, I love you.” “I love you more,” Emma said right before she fell asleep. *** “Rebecca, what time is it?” Brody asked when he answered the phone. Emma sat up and looked at Brody and saw his face in the moonlight, his expression turned from confusion to pain immediately. “I’ll be right there,” Brody hung up and jumped out of bed.
“Brody?” Emma asked following him into the bathroom. “Em,” he grabbed her and hugged her and quickly pulled back, “There’s been an accident, I need to get to the hospital it’s my father.” Emma grabbed him clothes as he washed his face and brushed his teeth. Emma dressed quickly and walked out of their room and woke her mom to tell her they had to leave and that she would call when she could. Brody was grabbing his coat when she ran down the stairs, “Em you don’t have to go. I’ll call you.” “I’m going with you,” she grabbed her coat. Brody stopped and looked at her and let out a deep breath. “Brody if it were my family you would insist so don’t bother, let’s go,” Emma grabbed the keys and walked out, he followed behind her. “I can drive, Emma,” he snapped. “Get in,” Emma said and started the car. Emma held his hand as they walked into the hospital and Rebecca met them at the desk of the Emergency Room. “Brody, he isn’t good,” she cried. “I want to see him, take us to him,” Brody and Emma followed Rebecca into the exam room. Brody stopped short at the door and turned to Emma, “You don’t have to be in here.” “Brody, stop,” Emma whispered and gently stroked his face. Emma took Brody’s hand and walked to Robert’s side. Brody cringed when he looked at him. Robert’s eyes were swollen and purple, his face had several lacerations and a blood stained bandage was wrapped around the entire top of his head. “Mr. Hines, I’m Doctor James. I would like to discuss your options, would you care to have a seat?” Brody sat down, and Emma stood beside him with her hand on his shoulder. His face was expressionless as he looked at Robert. “Your father suffered a great deal of trauma to his head. He has what we call countercoup injury. The force of the impact from the accident caused severe brain damage to the opposite or left side of his brain. He has also had a fractured skull, the blood you see is from his ears, and his pupils are uneven. From the scans we’ve run it’s only a matter of time before he passes. We would like to know if you would consider allowing us to harvest his organ…” “Get the fuck out,” Brody screamed and stood up. “I understand that this is a horrible…” Doctor James continued. Brody took a step towards him, and Emma stood in front of him, holding him back. “Now is not the time Doctor,” Emma said holding Brody’s hands tightly around her waist. “But it’s a time sensitive…” Doctor James started. Brody tried to release his hands from Emma’s grasp. “With all due respect, get the hell out, get out now,” Emma snapped and the doctor left the room. Emma turned to Brody and grabbed his face and looked into his eyes, “Sit, Brody sit down over here.” Emma dragged a chair next to Robert’s side, and Brody sat, “Hold his hand.” Brody closed his eyes and held his hand. Emma started to walk away. “Em…” Brody started. “I’m not going anywhere,” Emma looked at Rebecca who still stood in the doorway. Emma pulled a chair next to Brody’s and took Rebecca’s hand and walked her to the chair where she sat next to Brody. Emma stood behind them and kissed them both on the head. They sat for close to an hour, and the heart monitor started to beep loudly causing a team of nurses to rush through the door.
“Clear the room,” the head nurse yelled and brought a crash cart into the room. “Brody, Rebecca, we need to let them work,” Emma said softly and pulled them both into the hallway. No one said a word. Emma held their hands as they leaned against the wall. Emma heard a woman crying in the room across the hallway. A stretcher was being brought out of the room with a child on it attached to a ventilator. “We can’t lose him,” the woman cried into what appeared to be her husband’s chest as he rubbed her back. “We have to be prepared,” he held her tighter. “No,” she cried. Doctor James walked past them and nodded. “Anything?” the woman grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry,” he said and patted her hand. Emma closed her eyes she didn’t want to see Brody’s reaction. The nurses exited Robert’s room and Emma looked up. “Go ahead in,” the nurse said. “Could you tell us anything?” Emma asked. “You don’t have a lot of time, his heart is giving out. His brain waves are slowing down. He is only alive because of the machines. You should be prepared to say your goodbyes,” she rubbed Emma’s back and walked away. “Rebecca, you go ahead in, we’ll be in momentarily,” Brody said and kissed his sister. Emma hugged Brody, and he hugged her back. “Please tell me what I have to do, I can’t make that decision Em,” he said quietly. “You have to, you and Rebecca have to make the decision together,” Emma kissed him. “Brody Hines?” the woman who was crying earlier looked at him. “Yes,” he said quietly. “My son is a huge fan, he’ll be back soon. He doesn’t have long, but it would mean a lot to him if you said hello,” she said and cried. “Of course,” Brody smiled softly. Brody looked at Emma and shook his head and pulled her tighter into him. “If he were ours…” Brody started. “He isn’t,” Emma ran her hands through his hair. “My father isn’t going to wake up,” Brody said searching for answers in Emma’s eyes. “No,” she said in barely a whisper. “I need to talk to Rebecca,” Brody said pulling her head against his chest. “I’ll give you a few minutes alone,” Emma offered. “No, I need you Emma unless…” “No, unless, I just thought you may want a few minutes, of course I want to be there for you,” Emma took his hand and they walked in. “We need to make a decision,” Brody said and hugged his sister. “I think we both know what we need to do Brody,” Rebecca said, her facial expression unchanged, “He isn’t here.” “Emma would you go speak to Doctor James, please?” Brody asked. “Of course,” Emma said and hugged him. All the paperwork was signed and they began to wheel the stretcher out of the room. Brody held his hand tightly to his chest, and a look of panic crept into his eyes. Emma couldn’t stop the tears from welling up even though she tried.
“Stop,” Brody’s voice echoed down the hall as he ran to the stretcher and held his father, “I love you, I forgive you.” He looked at the monitors hoping for a change, and nothing had changed. Brody stepped back and watched as the operating room staff took him through the doors and they shut behind them. Brody crouched down and leaned against the wall and hugged his knees. Emma ran down the hall and knelt down in front of him and held him as he cried. Another stretcher passed them as they held each other. Brody stood, and Emma wiped away his tears, “Get me out of here,” he whispered in his ear. “Mr. Hines!” The woman yelled. Brody turned to see the woman motioning her into a room, he closed his eyes and took Emma’s hand and walked towards them. “This is my son Johna,” she smiled. “Hello Johna,” Brody shook his hand. “Wow, it really is you, are you here to see me?” Johna asked. “I am,” Brody smiled. Dr. Green entered the room and looked curiously at Brody. “Johna — we have some great news for you, we have a match, and you’re getting your transplant.” Johna’s mother cried and fell to her knees in prayer. Emma held Brody’s hand tightly. “That’s good news, I mean I’m happy but someone died? Mom I don’t know if I can,” Johna said with tears in his eyes. “Johna, you don’t have a choice darling,” his mother said as she stood and held his hand. Brody stood and stared at the floor, “Mr. Hines, what would you do?” “Well Johna I would take it, you have many years ahead of you. Things happen for a reason. Think of it as a gift from God,” Brody smiled and kissed his head. “Okay, are you sick? Why are you here?” Johna asked as curiously as any eight year old would. “I’m here to see you, and now that I know you’re going to be okay I can leave,” Brody smiled. *** Brody, Emma, and Rebecca walked into the house and Henry met them at the door, he looked at Emma and then Brody. “What can I do to help?” Henry asked. “Thank you Henry but there isn’t much we can do at this hour. Rebecca why don’t you go rest, and call our brother and Bo. You and I will make the arrangements and get back to them,” Brody looked at Emma, “You should rest, we can’t do anything for a couple more hours.” “I will when you do, I’m going to make some tea,” Emma kissed him and disappeared into the kitchen. *** The funeral service was small and private, held graveside. It was held two days after Robert’s passing. Bo, Bobby, Rebecca, and Brody stood together quietly. London and Emma behind them and Caroline and Henry were there as well. The minister read several passages and shook their hands before he walked away. “Emma, Dad and I are going to take London back and get lunch set up,” Caroline said hugging Emma. “Grandma I want to stay with Brody,” London said and started to cry. Emma hugged London, “We have to let him grieve, London. We’ll be there very soon okay?” London looked up, and Brody took her hand, “London, thank you.” London hugged Brody tightly, “Brody, I’m so sorry.”
Brody scooped her up in his arms and held her, “Me too.” “Do you need me to stay?” London asked. “I need you all the time, but maybe Grandma Caroline needs your help setting the table,” Brody wiped London’s tears as he put her down, “Sometimes I wonder if she knows where the fork goes.” “I know where it goes,” London smiled and wiped his tears. “I know you do,” Brody kissed her finger. “Okay but if you need me, Brody,” London said raising her eyebrows. “I know where to find you and I can promise I’ll need extra hugs this evening,” Brody smiled. “Okay, like a hundred? “Maybe a hundred and fifty,” Brody winked. Brody took Emma’s hand and walked towards Bobby and Rebecca. “Bobby this is Emma, Em this is my brother,” Brody introduced them. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” Emma said and shook his hand. “Thank you, I’m sorry this is how we had to meet,” Bobby smiled slightly. “Me too,” Emma said softly. They stood looking at the grave quietly, “Well he’s with Mom now.” Bobby shook his head, “Yeah, what the hell happened? Did he have a heart attack, was he drinking?” “He hadn’t drank in a while, he left our home and hit a tree,” Brody said scowling down. “He stopped drinking?” Bobby asked surprised, “What caused the accident?” “I haven’t had time to get a copy of the accident report,” Rebecca said quickly. “We’ve been busy, Rebecca it’s alright,” Brody said and hugged her. “I’ll look into it, I know a few people in the police department,” Bo offered. “No, I can do it,” Brody scowled. “Brody let him, you guys leave in two days. I’ll call you as soon as we know anything,” Rebecca patted his back. “Fine.” Brody let out a breath. They all drove back to Brody’s and ate. Bobby was staying the night and Bo and Rebecca left shortly after dinner. *** “He stopped drinking?” Bobby laughed. “Yes,” Brody smirked. “Well I guess miracles do happen,” Bobby laughed. “So tell me how are things with you?” Brody asked. “Great, busy but great,” Bobby smiled. “Do you hear from Sally anymore?” Brody smiled. “Not in a while, I kind of messed that up huh?” Bobby chuckled. “I guess you did,” Brody laughed. “I’m settling down, work has me very busy, not a lot of time to get into trouble. And you’re married...again,” Bobby winked. “Yes, this one’s forever, we’re having a child, and then there’s London. It couldn’t be any more perfect. Dad was here before the accident, he was going to move to the States with us. He and I talked, things were good,” Brody said staring into the fire. “I’m glad that you two patched things up. He hurt for many years and then there was Bo,” Bobby looked at Brody. “Yeah, about that, father was no longer a fan of Bo’s. Do you know why?” Brody asked. “Well if he was sober maybe he saw what truly was going on around him,” Bobby scowled.
“The parties?” Brody asked. “Yeah, the parties,” Bobby laughed. “What am I missing?” Brody asked. “From what I remember nothing, you were ass deep into the lifestyle until Jemma’s death,” Bobby rolled his eyes. “Things change, Bobby,” Brody looked away. “I’m glad, none of the Hines family wants anything to do with him anymore, and he is out of control. They cut him off. I have no idea how he is able to afford that place and that lifestyle anymore and honestly I don’t want to,” Bobby sat back, “Stay away from him Brody.” “Well what about Rebecca?” “She’s running that charity for you now, she knows better,” Bobby patted his brother’s knee. “And you are knee deep in Hines family business now,” Brody laughed. “It’s legitimate Brody. And you’re a rock star,” Bobby smiled.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN It had been a few weeks since they had returned from England. Brody and London had been working on a piano piece, writing it and practicing every day for London’s end of year recital. Emma was busy with work and Lila. *** “You’re sure you don’t want to find out what we are having?” Emma smiled as they drove into the city for Lila’s ultrasound appointment. “I thought we’d agreed Em, but if you want to we can,” Brody kissed her head and pulled her closer to him. “No, that’s fine, how about names?” Emma smiled up at him. “You choose,” he smiled. “No, I want to discuss it, I want you to tell me what you want,” Emma rubbed his chest. “I want you, all the time,” he kissed her lips. “Focus Brody, names, let's have it. I’m sure you have some ideas, I want to hear them,” Emma smiled. “Lexington Avenue is where I bought the ring, Lexington Grace, Grace after…” Brody started. “Your mother. Brody it’s perfect. Lexington Grace, London and Lexi,” Emma’s eyes danced, “Yes?” “Yes,” Brody kissed her gently on the lips. Emma laughed, “Okay and for a boy name?” “Robert Henry?” Brody asked. “Yes, it’s perfect. God I love you!” Emma kissed him. Brody laughed, “The nursery?” Emma laughed, “Whatever you want will be perfect, just like you.” “I have a surprise,” Brody smiled. “Okay, I like surprises,” Emma sat up and turned towards him. “Your birthday is the same week as London’s mid- winter break from school yes?” Brody smiled. Emma shook her head, “Well I bought you a present and well I want to take you both to see it that week.” “Okay tell me,” Emma sat on her knees in front of him and clapped. “Oh no, you’ll have to wait,” he smiled. *** “Brody wake up, Brody please wake up,” Emma shook him. Brody sat up and looked around, his body was drenched in sweat, and he shook slightly. He looked around the room and then at Emma. He held her tightly against him and let out a breath. “Damn it Em, I’m sorry, I’m soaked, I need a shower,” Brody stood up quickly and walked into the bathroom. Emma followed him, “Do you remember this one?” “No,” he said and turned on the shower. “Brody…” Emma began. “I don’t remember,” he snapped. Emma turned to walk away, and he grabbed her hand, “Sorry Em, it’s just…I don’t remember.” “Okay,” she said pulling her hand from his, “I’m going back to bed.”
*** Emma walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She began making London’s lunch and felt Brody wrap his arms around her from behind. “Good morning,” he said and kissed her neck. “Good morning, I had a late start, I need to get this done sorry,” she said and pulled away from him. Brody quickly turned her to face him, “Emma, I really don’t remember. I’m sorry I was rude.” “Okay,” she said and started to pull away again. “Em, I love you,” Brody kissed her. “Gross, do you two ever stop?” London laughed as she walked in. “Good morning London. We’re running late, let’s go get those teeth brushed, and wow look at that hair,” Brody laughed, “Alright back up those stairs, get dressed, I’ll be up in a minute. Mom will finish making you lunch, wild one.” London laughed, and Emma hugged her quickly before she continued making her lunch. “Em…” Brody began. “I’m not mad Brody, just worried. You’ve had those dreams, nightmares since we got back, I’m just worried,” Emma smiled and turned back and finished making London’s lunch, “Since your Dad....” “I know, it’ll get better. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t remember,” Brody kissed her, “Wish me luck, I’m off to try to tame the wild one’s hair.” Emma turned and smiled, “I love you.” “Much better Em,” Brody kissed her again and ran to the stairs, “You better be ready Miss London!” *** “It’s so beautiful,” London squealed and clapped. “No fair...I can’t see,” Emma laughed. “It’s your surprise, you’re not supposed to see,” London laughed, “And it’s a very big surprise, wow Brody it’s amazing!” “Perfect huh?” Brody laughed. “Do you think she’ll like it?” “You two are horrible and extremely lucky I don’t take this off,” Emma laughed. “If you try I’ll pull over and tie your hands up, Em,” Brody snickered. “You wouldn’t dare,” London laughed loudly. “I would,” Brody smiled and looked over at Emma who was holding her breath. “Breathe Em,” he said smiling. Emma felt the vehicle stop, “Are we here?” “Yes, London would you like to go have a peek before I bring your mom?” Brody asked. “Oh yes!” London ran ahead. Emma felt him take her hand and help her out. Brody pulled her close to him, “Emma your daughter is out of ear shot and sight. You look completely fuckable right now.” Brody kissed her hard on the mouth, and she moaned into his. His hand skimmed across her chest and he leaned down pulling her shirt up and pulling the cup of her lacey pink bra down, he bit lightly on her nipple and her breath hastened. His hand grabbed the other and released it from her bra and did the same. “I want you so fucking bad right now,” Brody kissed her again. “Okay,” she whimpered. Brody laughed, “Company Em, but tonight I want you in bows. HEY LONDON! Come back here. Breathe Em.” Brody quickly licked both nipples before pulling her bra to cover them, his breath was hot on her neck as he turned her and pulled her back to his chest and walked her to the steps.
“One, Two, Three,” Brody turned her to him and untied the blindfold and looked at her eyes. Emma blinked and looked up at him and closed her eyes and took several breaths. Her eyes were wet and not from tears. “Emma,” Brody clenched his jaw. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, “Sorry, but it’s your fault.” Brody laughed, “And this is yours, you better stay in front of me until I can get you alone, damn it woman!” Emma giggled and pulled back and looked down and then up at him. “You ready?” “Very,” she smiled. Brody threw his head back and laughed deeply and turned her around, “Happy Birthday Em.” “Oh My God!” Emma gasped loudly and started towards the steps. Brody quickly grabbed her and pulled her back against him and laughed, “Don’t you dare expose me.” Emma laughed and turned around and kissed him, “Not helping Em.” The cabin was amazing, it sat on Lake Winnipesaukee. “Was it worth the five hour drive, Em?” Brody asked as he watched her walk around smiling. “Absolutely, Brody this is amazing. How long are we staying?” Emma smiled. “A week this time, but in the summer I thought we could stay here as often as possible,” he smiled, “It’s ours.” Emma gasped, “You bought it?” “Yes, I hope it makes you happy,” Brody said anxiously. “Yes happy, very, very, happy,” Emma threw her arms around him, “I like the fireplace, it reminds me of England.” Brody groaned, “Your parents will be here soon. But right now you need to stay away from me.” Emma laughed and turned away, “London, show me the upstairs?” “I’m up here,” London waved from the balcony, “Five bedrooms Mom!” “Five?” Emma laughed as she ran up the stairs. *** “They’ll be gone at least an hour, show me the room you picked,” Brody smiled. “Well I picked the one London told me you had picked. You two are sneaky, how long have you been working on this?” Emma smiled. “Since we got back from England. I promised you a happy life and well, I’m trying Em,” Brody frowned. “What does that mean Brody?” Emma asked rubbing his face. “Honestly, you’ve had cancer, two lost children, my uncle…God Emma…then my father. It hasn’t been that wonderful, but it will be. I’ve put you through a lot,” Brody pulled her hair back away from her face and lifted her chin, “And now I’ve made you cry.” “Brody, I’m cancer free, you helped me through all that, I have a man who wanted a child with me, who adores and loves my child, your Uncle is an ass, and your father passed away, none of those are your fault, none of it.” Emma kissed him, “I’m happier than I ever imagined. We all have pasts, but each day with you erases the hurt from my past. You don’t just make me happy Brody, you make me whole.” Brody kissed her harshly on the mouth, and his hand floated softly down her back, “I’ve never felt more cherished Em, not ever.” “Me either, I love you,” Emma kissed his neck softly and pulled his shirt off. She undid his pants, and they fell to the ground, “God I’m so glad you don’t wear underwear.” Emma took him in her mouth quickly, and he gasped, “Em stop….fuck.”
Brody took her hair in his hands and guided her head. She stopped and grasped his shaft and stroked gently as her tongue flicked across his tip causing him to twitch. She cupped his sack and tugged gently as she sucked hard on him. Brody moaned and threw his head back. “Emma,” he hissed trying to hold back his release. Emma moved faster and she felt him tense and release into her mouth, and he held the back of her head and thrust into her mouth cursing loudly. When he was empty, he stammered back against the counter, “Damn, Em.” Emma smiled and stood up and watched him try to regain his composure. She took a picture with her phone of him leaning against the counter running his hands through his hair and his mouth slightly opened trying to catch his breath. He opened his eyes and smiled, “Do you have any idea how amazing you are?” “Yes,” Emma beamed. Brody laughed, “Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you?” Emma’s jaw dropped, and she froze, Brody pulled his pants up and peered up at her through his dark lashes and raised his eyebrow. Emma gasped, and he took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. He stood back and leaned on the counter and looked her up and down, slowly he licked his lips and ran his tongue across his plump lower lip. He cocked his head to the side and glared at her. “You may want to run, Em,” his voice warned as he slowly took a step towards her. “What?” She whispered as her eyes grew and jaw dropped. He laughed wickedly, “Three, two…” Emma jumped and ran up the stairs as he followed her, she dove into the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin and watched him come in the room giving her an intimidating glare. “You don’t scare me,” her voice squeaked as he got closer. “Oh this won’t be scary, but you’re going to feel boneless for the rest of the day,” he warned. Emma’s eyes lit up, and Brody laughed a deep dark laugh. He grabbed a box off of the self in the closet and brought it out. “Brody they’ll be back…” Emma began. “I would stop talking if I were you,” Brody warned. “But…” Brody stood up quickly and gave Emma a look that made her stop talking immediately. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialed a number, “Caroline, Emma’s decided she would rather not cook tonight…no she doesn’t want you to either, Emma wants Prime Rib, only the best cut. There’s a place we passed about twenty miles out of town, would you mind terribly? The drive up tired her out and I think she is going to rest a bit and then when you get back she would like to eat, she’s going to be extremely hungry. Thank you.” “Brody…” Emma began to protest. “It would be best if you would just shut that hot little mouth of yours Em, fair warning, not a peep,” he advised his brow raising. Brody opened the box and took out several silk scarves and smiled and looked at Emma. She sat with her knees to her chest with the blanket pulled over her nose and her eyes wide. “Stand up and take your clothes off Emma,” Brody instructed. Emma didn’t move, “Do it now or I’ll do it for you.” Emma stood up quickly and did what he asked. Brody let his pants drop to the floor and stood with his back to her. “Kneel on the edge of the bed and sit back on your heels,” He instructed and turned towards her with his erection in hand slowly moving his hand back and forth. Emma moaned, and her nipples tightened and peeked.
“Look at your tits Emma, begging for my mouth to suck them, look at them Emma,” Brody’s voice was gruff and hot. Emma looked down and closed her knees tightly. “Spread your legs now,” he said pumping himself harder. Brody walked over and grabbed two candles out of the box and set them on the dresser and lit them. “You’re not going to talk, just listen and understand that I’m going to fuck you until you can’t take anymore. These candles might seem romantic, but that hot wax is going to be a bit uncomfortable dripping over those pink aching nipples,” Brody warned. “Do you have any idea how hot…” “Emma don’t,” Brody said harshly. “I know exactly how hot you’re getting, I see your tight little pussy is swollen, wanting me, your perfect tits need to be sucked hard, and you’re getting wet, soaked actually. It started downstairs as you sucked greedily on my cock until I filled your mouth with my come, and then with each warning it gets slicker and wetter and needs me even more. I promise you you’ll come Emma, harder and longer than ever before,” Brody blew out the candles. “I’m going to let that sit for a moment so that I don’t burn you…” Brody started. “I want you too,” Emma panted. “Shh Em, no you don’t and I don’t want to hurt you,” Brody took a scarf and wrapped it around her waist and tied it loosely. “Spread your knees further I want to see that clit,” Brody instructed. “Use your hands on yourself, spread and rub,” Brody said softly. She did as he asked and he stroked himself at the same time. “STOP.” Emma jumped, “I need you, please, I need you.” Emma started squeezing her knees together and Brody stood between them so she couldn’t. He leaned into her and tied two scarves from the waist band to her ankles so that she couldn’t move them and then tied two more to her wrists and attached them to her ankles. “Look at you, so beautiful,” he rubbed his cock lightly against her clit and she groaned loudly. He stepped back and looked her up and down, “Breathtaking,” he whispered. He grabbed the candle and slowly poured little drops on to her left nipple, and she yelled out his name, he repeated it on her right. “You’re going to get so turned on your nipples are going to grow even more and crack that wax after it’s hardened,” Brody blindfolded Emma. “The way you wanted me in the car, unable to see me, just the thought of me, my voice talking about tying you up Em, it’s the anticipation. You couldn’t wait to be on your knees sucking this,” he stroked himself and moaned loudly. “I see your nipples responding to me Em, they are so in need of my mouth, my teeth, my breath,” he blew cold air onto them, “I can’t wait to have them in my mouth.” Brody rubbed from her knees to just below her groin, “And then there is this,” he bent down and blew on her, and she moaned. She felt the blindfold release, “You’ve cracked the wax Em. I think I should get rid of it now.” Brody ran his teeth slowly across her nipples peeling the wax away with his mouth and repeated on the other side. “Oh God,” Emma screamed and she felt herself starting to orgasm. “Damn Em,” Brody released the scarf around her waist and flipped her on her stomach and pushed into her. Emma screamed out with each thrust and tried to pull away. “Hell no,” Brody flipped her to her back and shoved two fingers into her as she peaked, his mouth
covered her as she let go, holding nothing back until she lay limp. “Sorry,” she whispered. “Fuck Em,” he pushed into her and she let out little cries of pleasure until she came again and he did so with her. “How are you feeling?” He asked when he finally pushed himself off of her. “Perfect,” Emma whispered. “You tasted perfect, that has to happen every time,” Emma rolled to her stomach and hid her face in the pillow, Brody smacked her ass, “Got it, no holding back on me, I want it like that every time.” Brody pulled her up, “Shower with me, my fucking hot amazing wife?” Emma looked up at him and scowled, he was beaming. “I wasn’t even in you yet, that’s unbelievable. When you went off...I’m so glad I had my mouth…damn Em, you taste amazing...hot damn!” He twirled her in a circle and kissed her. Emma buried her face in his neck and giggled. Brody cupped her chin and looked at her and smiled, “You’re glowing. We’re so good together love.” Emma felt him growing against her and looked up, “One more time and then a shower, they’ll be here soon.” “Brody!” she yelped when he threw her over his shoulder and smacked her bare butt.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Brody woke from his dream and gasped, he looked over and Emma was still asleep. He got out of bed and washed his face and took a deep breath. He walked downstairs and got a drink and sat on the couch and thought about what he had remembered. A blonde woman, she reminded him of his first experience with a Dom, and he sat back. Why the fuck am I dreaming about this, he wondered. She had a tattoo; it looked more like a brand. He remembered the bar he was at before he was married, with Rebecca when Ariel showed up, the bar maid had the same tattoo, so what, he told himself. He stood and paced the floor and remembered he had seen it again and froze. No big deal, but why the dreams damn it! He asked himself. It’s not like it matters anymore...Brody get a grip. Brody sat on the couch and tried to stop his brain from going back to his dream. He looked down and grabbed the leather photo album and started looking through it. He came to the last page and froze. “Oh my God,” Brody gasped. “Everything okay out here?” Henry asked walking past him into the kitchen. “Yes, everything’s fine,” Brody’s voice shook. Henry walked over and looked at him as he stared down at the pictures, “Brody?” Brody shook his head back and forth, “It’s nothing Henry.” “It doesn’t seem like nothing Hines, you look white as a sheet,” Henry said and sat. “It’s nothing I’ve just been having a rough time lately, not a lot of sleep,” Brody forced a smile. Henry studied his face, “When you’re ready to talk about it son I’m here. Is Emma alright?” “She’s exceptional, wonderful. I love your daughter very much Henry, I always will,” Brody said softly. Brody climbed back into bed, and Emma sat up, “Are you okay?” “I am Emma, I love you,” he lay down and pulled her onto him. “I love you more,” she smiled and wrapped her arms around him. They spent the week in the snow. They cross country skied, snow- shoed, and ice fished. London had a great time, and so did Emma. Caroline and Henry were taking London home with them so that she could have her visit with Troy in the garage apartment. *** “You haven’t had any nightmares this week,” Emma smiled and kissed him, “Maybe we should move up here.” “And forget about the outside world, and responsibilities. I think you prefer it away from home as well,” Brody smiled. “Why would you say that, I love our home,” Emma asked looking up at him. “You seem to let loose more away from home…squirt,” Brody chuckled. “You did not just…” Emma snapped and he covered her mouth and she pulled it away, “Or do that!” “Hmm I did,” Brody’s eyes danced. “Just so you know that embarrasses me, Brody,” Emma said quietly. “Why?” “It’s not normal,” Emma scowled. “It’s a fucking gift, Em,” Brody turned her towards him. “Please don’t call me that,” she looked down.
“Make a deal?” Brody kissed her gently, “Don’t hold back on me and I won’t, but Em I wasn’t poking fun at you okay? I would never.” Brody hugged her tightly, and she began to relax. “Emma, I have to go back to England for a few days to wrap things up with my father’s estate, as well as do a couple interviews before our tour. I would like to get that out of the way as soon as possible so that I can get back here for our child’s birth. Would you like to go?” “I would love to, but London’s in school,” Emma said softly. “I know, I should only be gone a few days, I’ll have Lila work on it, but I want to do it soon is that alright?” Brody asked. “Okay,” she smiled up at him. *** Brody and Emma stood at the airport waiting for his flight to be called. Emma sat playing with her hands, and he grabbed them and kissed them. “Would you stop?” Brody smiled at her. “Sorry,” Emma smiled. “No, Em, I’m sorry. I wish I didn’t have to go, but I must. When I come back it’s happy from here on out okay?” Brody wiped away Emma’s tear and held her tightly. “I don’t mean too…Brody you’re my happily ever after. It hurts to think you don’t know that. I Love you, us and our life, I wish you understood that. You are my more,” Emma held him tightly. “You’re mine as well love,” Brody kissed her, “Listen let’s be happy...we have five minutes before I leave, I want to see you smile Em,” Brody kissed her face. Emma smiled at him, “That’s better.” “Just a few days?” Emma held his face in her hands. Brody smiled, “I’ll be back before you know it.” Brody kissed Emma and pulled her up and hugged her tightly. “The nursery looks good right?” Brody smiled. “It’s perfect, I can’t believe you did all of that,” Emma smiled. “We’ll do more when I get back,” Brody kissed her again. “I need to get going, customs, uugghh!” “I love you Brody Hines, see you soon,” Emma smiled broadly. “I love you Emma Hines, see you soon,” Brody kissed her quickly and turned and walked away. Brody walked through the gate, and his heart pounded, he didn’t relish the idea of not telling his wife the other reason for his trip. But it had to be done; he couldn’t go on ignoring what his gut was telling him. Brody walked through customs and walked to his gate. He looked around to see if his travel companion was waiting. He smiled shyly and sat down. “Thank you for meeting me. I’m sorry about all of this secrecy I just don’t want to hurt her,” Brody put his head in his hands. “I understand Brody; I don’t want to hurt her either. I’m glad you trusted me enough to open up to me about everything. I won’t hold anything against you if this does not pan out, I won’t say that I’m not only hoping but praying things will go well.” “I know, but I don’t think I’m wrong, and it scares the hell out of me. Emma’s going to be hurt; I just don’t know how the hell this happened. Never in a million years could I have ever imagined something like this. Unbelievable,” Brody sighed. Their flight was called, and they walked onto the plane and sat. “It’s going to be a wild few days, I hope you’re ready for it,” Brody laughed nervously. “I’m ready, we should rest on the flight over, I don’t think we’ll get much sleep if we’re to get this all wrapped up in a few days. If it takes any longer they’re both going to be suspicious.”
“I agree,” Brody turned toward the window, “I should have just told her, damn it. It’s going to crush her.” “Why? If nothing comes of it and you did tell her she would be even more devastated. She doesn’t need to know until we figure it out.” “Okay,” Brody said and closed his eyes as the plane took off. *** Emma cried the entire way home. She couldn’t shake the thought that something was going to go horribly wrong. The first time he went to England they broke up. The second time she was drugged and his father died. She couldn’t lose the feeling that he was hiding something from her or that something horrific was about to happen. *** “Em, I’m in London,” Brody said softly. “Okay…Brody is everything alright? I can come if you need me. I love you,” Emma began to cry. “Shh Em, I love you. Everything will be fine, I miss you already,” Brody said softly. “I’m going to come, Mom and Dad can watch London, I should be with you…” Brody cut her off, “Emma I won’t be long, and you need to be with London and Lila. I want you to know I wish you could be here as well, but it’ll be just fine. When I come home it will be a very long time before I ever leave you again. I love you more Em. Kiss London for me, I’ll see you soon.” *** They walked into the bar that he had first seen the tattoo. Brody ordered drinks and sat in the booth. “Do you see the tattoo on that woman’s neck?” Brody asked. “I do.” “It’s the same one, Henry,” Brody shook his head. “Well let’s get the ball rolling. If Elizabeth is alive I need to know,” Henry said with restrained urgency. “We’ll go to the hotel, and I’ll make the call,” Brody said. Brody slammed his drink, and they left.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I want to thank Stephanie for being my forever friend, second set of eyes, her tireless work, and for the constant encouragement. To Kari M. at K23 designs who did the cover, you are amazing! To Laura B. P for all you have done, thank you! To Ellie N. I heart you, there are not enough words. To Chris V, thank you for your work getting this website started and finished, soon. To my Facebook and Twitter friends, you are WONDERFUL and make me smile. To Karen thank you again for your friendship, encouragement, and support. To my family who gives me enough love and support to continue working towards my dream. Mary, Suzanne, Sheila, Taylor, Faye, Emily, Erica, and Tiffany you are all AMAZING To Ally, my heart…I Love you more!
WRAPPED IN ARMOR Book 2
CHAPTER ONE My Dearest Brody, Today marks the third month I haven’t been able to see your beautiful face, and so much has happened. With it all just jumping around in my head, I’m writing in hopes that I can somehow make sense of it all. Elizabeth’s returned to us, and I know I have you to thank for that — my family’s so grateful that you got her out of that hell. She’s still in rehab and counseling, but I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same. I know I should be jumping for joy that my sister who’s been missing for over thirty years is here. I’m not Brody, and I know how incredibly ungrateful and inhuman that sounds, but her being here caused you not to be. My heart won’t be whole until I see you again. A month after you were gone, your fans held a national memorial service that I was supposed to attend. Rebecca went in my place. I couldn’t face them, or the fact that anyone could possibly believe you’re gone, because I know you’re not. I feel you from a far holding all the pieces of my shattered heart together until you walk through that door and hold me telling me it’s all better now. Everyone believed I was mourning your death and couldn’t keep it together to be in public. That’s fine, I actually don’t care what the world thinks...I just want you home. The day of the service London taught me how to play the piece you two had been working on for her end of the year concert. She asked that I play with her since you’re gone and I agreed. I’m hopeful I won’t have to put her through that embarrassment, so you need to hurry home my love, my life, my forever. Month two: Rebecca and your band held their own service. I skipped that one as well, and I didn’t have to come up with an excuse, Lila went into labor. We have a beautiful little girl, Brody. Lexington Grace was born on May 13th, 2013. She weighed six pounds and two ounces and was nineteen inches long. She looks exactly like you; you’re beautiful blue eyes, your thick brown hair and your pouty bottom lip. Lexi was seven weeks early, it was extremely scary for a while, but after a week in the neonatal unit she was able to come home. Lila’s been a dream, she wasn’t teary eyed at all, she looked at me and handed her right to me Brody — she was the perfect surrogate just like you said she would be. Lila agreed to express breast milk for the first month to give our daughter the colostrum which helps build her immunities. After the press got a hold of the story about our beautiful Lexington — London, Lila, Mark, Lexington, and I went to the lake house and stayed for two weeks. Lila was still recovering from her C- section and working her ass off to give them just enough photos and press releases to keep them away. While we were there London finally broke down, and I think I’ve been convincing enough to let her think I have as well, although I cannot ever say the words. We’ve been home for two weeks, my boss has been generous enough to allow me to work from home, but on Monday I have to go back to two days a week. Mom’s cut her hours so that she can be with Lexi on the days I’ll be at work. Clive’s become an invaluable asset. I knew nothing of the finances, bills or anything and he did. I guess you trusted him enough, so he’s stayed on. I honestly feel safer with him here. I do feel bad about using your money to pay him and Lila. I’m managing to take care of most everything else on my salary which has increased since I started, but you know that already. Clive’s amped up security which I’m grateful for, I don’t know why, but without you here I feel scared. I’ve not slept in our bedroom since the authorities brought Elizabeth home and announced you were missing. The first time I walked in there I fell apart, the nights London’s gone I still do. I miss you Brody. I can still smell your intoxicating scent on your pillow. I use your toothbrush hoping I might taste you; I wear your clothes every day that I’m home and change before I pick up London. Lexington and I watch videos of you every day, and I tell her how perfect her Daddy is. Brody she needs to know you, love please come home. I miss you…more. Yours Always and Forever, Em
*** “I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride,” Pastor Page announced, and everyone clapped and cheered. Emma closed her eyes and thought of the last time she heard Pastor Page say those words. She didn’t expect the sting when she offered to hold the wedding at The Hines’ estate. She never could have expected it to hurt like this. Oh Brody I need you now, come home, please, she begged in her thoughts. Emma opened her eyes as she looked at London and smiled brightly, “You’re the most beautiful junior bridesmaid I’ve ever seen.” “And you’re the prettiest Maid of Honor in the universe,” London said and hugged her, “Mommy,
we’re going to be okay, right?” “Of course, we always are,” Emma said and held her tighter, “We love each other more. How could we not be perfect?” “Do I have to go to dads tonight?” “Do you want to stay here, London?” “Yes, I do...I just don’t want to cause a fight,” London said sadly. “Well I’m your Mommy, and I’ll fight for you until the day I die,” Emma smiled, “Why don’t you sit with your sister and I’ll go make a phone call.” *** Emma tucked the girls in and walked back outside where the reception was starting to die down. “Thank you so much Emma for offering to do this for us,” Lila hugged her. “Lila, I owe you so much more, this was nice. A break from the normal Saturday night,” Emma smiled. “Are you alright, I mean with everything?” Lila asked as she did almost daily. Emma nodded her head yes and smiled, “I still don’t believe he’s…” She paused, unable to say the words. “I know, I just really wish you’d talk to me, Emma.” “If I ever feel like I’m going to lose it, you’ll be the first call I make,” Emma smiled, reassuringly. Everyone had left, and Emma walked out to see if there was anything else to do, “Mrs. Hines, everything’s all set, you should go in and sleep,” Clive suggested, “I’ll see to it that everything’s secure for the night.” “I know you will, I’m just not ready to go to bed yet. Would you like some coffee, Clive?” Emma asked holding the door open for him. “Sure, thank you ma’am,” Clive answered. “Honest to God, you need to stop calling me that please,” Emma said with a hint of demand in her voice. “Alright I’ll try,” Clive took the cup of coffee she handed to him. “So you and Brody knew each other before?” “Yes, for many years.” “That’s nice.” “Emma,” Clive choked out and she laughed, he smiled back at her. “Clive?” Emma smiled. “I hear you every night, crying, and I know you watch him on TV every day. Could you tell me why you do that to yourself?” He asked with an inquisitive tone. “I miss him, very much. I don’t believe he’s gone and I expect him to walk through that door someday soon.” “I see,” he looked at her. “You think I’m crazy,” Emma looked away. “No ma’am…Emma, I can’t believe he’s gone either,” Clive confessed, “It just doesn’t make sense. But neither does believing otherwise. He would be with you if he could be.” “Clive, do you think he’s hurt?” Emma asked sadly, “Do you believe he’s still alive?” The hope in her voice made him uneasy, “No ma’am, I just wish, like you do, that he was okay.” Emma’s face fell, she had hoped she wasn’t alone that someone else just knew he was alright. Henry had been using all his contacts at the ISA to try to find him, and failed to turn up anything. Emma had stopped pushing her father since his mini- stroke. Knowing that he felt it was his fault to begin with, Emma herself went to England and retraced every step she could trying to piece together exactly what may have happened to him. Rebecca still kept in contact with the authorities and pushed them to find
something, anything that would help them figure out what had happened. The authorities had found his shirt with cuts in it and blood that matched his DNA by the river, and that was enough for them. My Dearest Brody, I’ve had a difficult day. I hurt thinking of what may have happened to you. I hurt knowing that wherever you are, you’re unable to get back to us. I hurt knowing that I’ve failed in finding you. I hurt so much missing you. I hurt knowing that I’m either crazy believing that you’re out there somewhere, and I hurt thinking you aren’t. Our little Lexington is six months old and cutting her first tooth. She’s healthy and happy and every day she looks more and more like you. Even her mannerisms complement yours. She smiles when she sees your videos on television, she laughs out loud she’s starting to sit up unassisted. Our London has dove into piano and over summer vacation, she attended music camp. She played many of your pieces and each night as I sat and watched her play and smiled and clapped for her. I felt like I was distant from her, and it scared me. I need to be present for them and in order to do that I need to be whole. Without you, I struggle every day to become that again. I have dreams of you often, not the nightmares that I had before, but very pleasant dreams, sometimes too pleasant. I still haven’t slept in our bed and I fear I never will again. It’s been eight months without you and I know when I smell your pillow, it truly isn’t your scent I smell, but the memory of it. People say memories fade...and that scares me senseless. I never want to go a day when I don’t remember your smile, your smell, your touch, your voice or the way you loved me. Yours Always and Forever, Em
“Ma’am, may I have a few moments?” “Of course,” Emma said grabbing the remote and quickly turning off the home video of their first Christmas together. Clive smiled gently, “You didn’t have to turn that off, I know you watch them every day.” “I don’t want everyone to think I’m crazy,” Emma said with tears forming in her eyes. Clive sat and took a deep breath, “Ma’am I need to return to England for a bit, I have family matters to attend to. I’ll return as soon as I can.” “Oh of course, I should’ve insisted you take a vacation. How rude of me, I’m so sorry,” Emma apologized. “Don’t be, I wouldn’t be leaving now except something pressing’s come up, so I’ll leave tonight. Rupert will be here in my place,” Clive said. “Well alright. Clive, do you trust Rupert?” Emma asked. “Of course, as should you. He’s never locked you in the car on my days off, has he?” Clive smiled. “Well...I guess not,” Emma laughed remembering the day he’d locked her in so that Brody could speak to Troy at the rehab center. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Clive squeezed her hand reassuringly. *** Rupert Long was an intimidating man, he didn’t speak often, but when he did, he commanded attention. He was tall and muscular, his skin was like milk chocolate and hair and eyes, black. He had been with them for a week, and London and Emma had bets about who could make him crack a smile or speak more often. London of course won. “Ma’am, this is Clive,” Clive said on the other end of the phone. “Clive how are things? I hope your family is well,” Emma said. “They are, but I’ll need another week,” Clive stated rather than asked. “Oh, alright...of course,” Emma said quietly. “Is everything alright there ma’am?” He asked. “Well…yes they’re fine,” Emma cautiously answered. “You don’t seem so sure. Is there a problem, is Rupert doing alright?” Clive questioned.
“Well honestly he’s a bit, well how do I say this?” Emma pondered out loud. “Overbearing?” Clive asked with a hit of amusement. “Yes, but silently so,” Emma replied in the same tone. “He has a job to do, Mrs. Hines,” Clive chuckled. It’d been months since she had heard him call her Mrs. Hines, and it took her breath away. Clive heard her breath stop, “Are you alright?” “It’s just…never mind,” she whispered. “No...what is it?” Clive asked authoritatively. “You called me Mrs. Hines, and well you haven’t in months,” Emma’s voice cracked. “I’m sorry I’ve upset you…” Clive began. “It didn’t upset me it…” Emma’s tears began to fall. “It’ll be okay, you’re going to be fine,” Clive said softly. Emma cleared her throat, “I’m sorry. Please enjoy the rest of your trip. Don’t worry about us we are fine, and well...if London has her way, Rupert will be a new man by the time you come home,” she giggled. “See you soon Mrs. Hines,” Clive said as he hung up. Rupert became more and more impossible each day. He took many calls which caused him to be even more impossible. At first, he insisted on taking them everywhere, even to the store for milk. He then insisted on knowing where they were at all times and went running with Emma every day. He even began to smile less, which meant almost never. London would tell him jokes, and he’d force himself to turn his lips slightly up. Emma and London would laugh when he did which annoyed him. Emma walked into her parent’s home to drop off Lexington, and Henry was franticly trying to get his bag to zip. “Dad, where are you going?” Emma asked as she hugged him. “Well I have a few things to tie up in England. I left in a hurry, and I need to make things right,” Henry answered avoiding eye contact. “What sort of things?” Emma asked. “Oh just some papers to sign that didn’t get done before I left,” Henry said and smiled and hugged her, “I’ll see you soon, Princess.” Henry left quickly. Caroline came out and smiled and hugged Emma tightly. “Mom...is everything alright?” Emma asked. “It sure is. Hey I’d like us girls to go to the spa tomorrow. I haven’t had pretty feet in months and I’m sure you, Elizabeth, London and maybe even baby Lexi, all deserve a treat,” Caroline said as her eyes shown tears. “Why don’t just you and Elizabeth go?” Emma said and hugged her. “No, I want us all to go, please Emma,” Caroline pleaded. “Of course Mom if it means that much to you,” Emma smiled and looked at Elizabeth. “Good Morning, Emma,” Elizabeth said coolly. “Good morning,” Emma smiled, “Alright then Lexi, you’re going to stay with Grandma and your aunt for a while, I love you baby girl, see you soon.” “Have a fabulous day…Princess,” Elizabeth said following her out the front door and closing it. “Do you need something Elizabeth?” Emma asked as she stopped and turned around. “Well Princess, whatever could I need? Oh, maybe I could shadow you so someday I could become just like you, the ‘perfect little Princess’,” Elizabeth snapped. Emma had held her tongue for months and had taken all the jabs she could handle from her sister. “Look, neither of us asked for any of this to happen. I love you Elizabeth, and I’m sorry for all that you have been…” “You’re sorry? You had a perfect life and parents who treat you like royalty, you look down your
fucking nose at me every time I see you. They may buy your pleasantries but I don’t, so you can cut the shit with me Emma!” Elizabeth snapped. “Elizabeth I think you...” Emma tried to speak. “You think Emma? You can’t stand that I’m here taking time away from you and them. Do you have any idea what I lived Emma, do you? I was taken from my family and shipped in a fucking box overseas and drugged. Passed around to be fucked by every sick bastard that had enough money. I was a child! I didn’t deserve that. I’m a used up disgusting whore and all of you look at me like that every fucking day of my life! I would go back there in an instant, at least I felt wanted and desired, here I’m a burden, a fucking case for you to all look down on!” Elizabeth screamed. “I’ve never thought of you that way, Elizabeth. You were a child and a victim, I love you, I’m truly sorry if I made you feel that way,” Emma cried and tried to hug her. “Cut the crap Emma, you blame me for your husband’s disappearance, you hate that I’m here, and he’s not, don’t you?” Emma didn’t respond, “Answer me, Princess!” “That’s not fair Elizabeth. That’s totally not fair, I love my husband, and I love you. I’m angry and hurt that he’s not here, I’m trying the best I can to keep it together. I don’t blame you,” Emma answered wiping away tears. “You’re a fucking liar!” Elizabeth screamed. “I’m a fucking mess, that’s what I am, and I’m trying to keep it together for my children. Just like our parents did for me when we thought you were dead. I think I’m doing as well as can be expected. And you’re drug free and home where you have people who love and adore you, this nonsense needs to stop between the two of us. I can’t take anymore,” Emma said and shook. Rupert walked up to Emma, “We need to go soon or you’ll be late, Mrs. Hines.” Caroline walked out, “Enough girls, that’s enough,” she cried and Lexi began to cry. Emma grabbed her and hugged her tightly, “It’s alright love. Mommy’s got you.” Emma walked to the car with Lexington in her arms and Rupert opened the door. “Emma,” Caroline yelled. “Mom I’ve got this covered, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m sorry and I love you,” Emma sat in the car and Rupert shut the door. Emma grabbed her phone, and called Lila, “Hey are you incredibly busy today? Great, how would you like to hang out with your god daughter for the day?” Emma pushed the button alerting Rupert she needed his attention, the privacy window came down. “Rupert, I’m going to need to take my car to work for a while. I need you to stay at my parents whenever Lexi’s there.” “Ma’am I’m to stay with you,” Rupert answered back. “I’m in charge here, and I need you to make sure my child is safe, do you understand?” Emma snapped. “I do, however,” he began. “When Clive returns I’d like you to stay on, to watch over my children until my sister stops her hateful behavior towards me. But for now, they need you, and I need you to make sure...” Emma broke down and began to cry. When they pulled up to the office she took a deep breath and wiped below her eyes making sure she got all the tears before stepping from the car. She took a deep breath when she left the office. Rupert was waiting for her at the car, “Ma’am.” “Thank you Rupert,” she said as she slid in the car. “Miss Lila’s at your house with Miss Lexington, your mother changed your spa appointment to this evening,” Rupert said and answered his phone, “Yes sir, one minute please,” he said and raised the privacy glass. Emma sat on the couch and snuggled with Lexington. “Are you alright Emma?” Lila asked stroking her
hair. “I’m better than I was this morning. I went in to see my boss today and asked to be moved to part time. She insisted I stay on full time and offered to let me work from home. I can have Mom or whoever watch her here while I do video meetings,” Emma laughed, “I think my last name makes me very sought- after.” “That’s great Emma — or do you need the break? I could understand that completely. As much as I love her, she’s exhausting,” Lila laughed. “I don’t need anything but them, and you of course. I hope you know how important you are to me, Lila,” Emma said appreciatively. “I feel the same Emma. Hey...I have some news for you,” Lila smiled. “Good news, I hope,” Emma ginned. “Yes. Mark and I are expecting!” Lila laughed. Emma jumped up and hugged her, “Congratulations!” “Why thank you,” Lila laughed. “Wow, you’re really going to be a Mommy,” Emma laughed. *** London was excited about her evening at the spa and Lila was joining them at Emma’s request. Mark was working late, and Emma wanted to treat Lila, a thank you along with congratulations. “If you want to wax you better do it now,” Emma laughed whispering in her ear. “If you do, I will,” Lila laughed. “Sure, why not?’ Emma smiled and looked down sadly. “Has it been hard, I mean no sex?” Lila asked. “No, I don’t think anyone would ever measure up in skill or size,” Emma giggled, “Besides...I’m waiting for my husband.” “Emma maybe you’ll have a Ghost experience like Demi Moore?” Lila chuckled. “Maybe I should buy a pottery wheel,” Emma said and they burst out laughing. “What are you two laughing about Mommy?” London asked. “Brody,” Emma said, and her smile fell. Elizabeth sucked her teeth making a loud annoyed sound. Lila looked at Emma and crossed her eyes. *** “Emma, we need to talk,” Henry said as he walked in the house. “How was your trip Daddy?” Emma asked giving him a quick hug, “A whole week away from Mom.” Rupert came in the room and stood at the door looking above her head as usual. “Emma, I need you to sit down and listen to me for a few minutes, alright?’ Henry said pointing to the chair. “You’re scaring me,” Emma said as she sat. “Princess, Brody’s alive,” Henry said softly holding her hand. Emma gasped, and tears immediately fell down her cheeks, “Is he hurt, is he here?” Emma jumped and ran towards the door. “He’s safe and physically fine. He’ll be flying in tomorrow with Clive,” Henry said calmly leading her back to her chair. “I want to talk to him I need to hear his voice, Daddy let me have my phone please!” She almost pleaded. “Emma, he’s been through a lot, which we need to talk about okay?” Henry said calmly. “Damn it, give me my phone,” Emma cried.
“Princess, he’s lost some of his memory,” Henry said holding her hands tightly, “He doesn’t remember anything after his divorce.” “He doesn't remember me?” Emma asked. “I’m sorry, Emma,” Henry said and hugged her tightly. “I don't care I want to call him, NOW!” Emma demanded. “There’s more that you need to know, and I have to insist you listen to me before you make that decision alright?” Henry said, grabbed his bag and sat next to her. “I don't care! Damn it! I want to hear his voice Dad! I knew he wasn't gone, and no one believed me!” she sobbed. “You love him Emma, and he doesn't remember. He’s angry and detoxing, he’s embarrassed and didn’t want to come back here. He was held captive and drugged for almost a year. Brody doesn't even look the same.” Henry explained. “Does he know about Lexi?” Emma cried. “Yes,” Henry answered. “Does he know we’re married?” Emma said inhaling a deep breath. “He does,” Henry answered. Emma grabbed her phone and ran into the bathroom locking the door. She dialed Clive. “Emma?” Clive answered. “I want to talk to him now Clive,” Emma pleaded through falling tears. “You’ll see him tomorrow night Emma, he needs time,” Clive said softly. “I need to know that I’m not losing my mind Clive, I knew he was still alive, damn it! I love him...I don't care if he thinks...damn it Clive — I need to hear his voice,” she sobbed. Emma cried and sat, and there was nothing on the other end. “Fine,” she said trying to steady her breathing, “All I wanted was to hear him,” Emma said softly. “Demanding little thing aren't you, did I know this about you before you dragged me to the alter Emma?” Brody asked laughing. Emma took a quick breath and sat silently, “Wow I have some effect on you haven't I? I’ve left you speechless and breathless all at once.” “You have no idea,” Emma said softly. “You’ve given me a child?” Brody asked more seriously. “Lexington Grace,” Emma answered still shocked, “she looks just like you,” Emma said softly and started to cry again. “Do you cry often?” Brody asked with humor in his voice. “Lately I have,” Emma answered honestly. “Well I hate to disappoint dear wife, but I’m sure that won’t end anytime soon because I have no bloody clue who you are,” Brody laughed. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Emma said softly. “Oh don't worry about it, I’ll bounce back, might not be in the direction you want me to go, but it’ll all work out,” Brody laughed his insecure nervous laugh. Emma opened the door and walked into the kitchen and past her father and Rupert and Lexi began to cry. “Is that my child making all that noise?” Brody asked. “Yes Lexi’s hungry, aren't you love?” She asked her daughter sweetly. “Well now, I’m going to let you quiet her down, and I’m going to pack, is there anything you would like me to bring you back from London, dear wife? Diamonds, jewels?” He joked. “Just you. Safe, please,” Emma asked, and her voice broke. “Alright then, what do we say when we end a call?” Brody asked annoyed. “See you soon,” Emma said with a smile in her voice. “Awe much better, see you soon,” Brody responded.
“Oh and I don't expect this in return but, I love you Brody, Always,” Emma hung up the phone and hugged her daughter tightly. “Emma, we aren’t finished here,” Henry snapped. “I’m all ears now.” “He’s not returning to you the same Emma, you need to understand a few things.” Emma shook her head in disagreement. “He was held captive and beaten and drugged. He has blocked a lot out Emma, and it’ll more than likely come back and probably not at a time that’s convenient. Clive worked with a man Brody disliked, to find him. Brody doesn’t remember why he hates the man. This is very dangerous, do you understand that? And that problem is nothing compared to the media storm that may follow it, do you understand?” Henry snapped. “He’s had health testing Emma, and he’s been cleaned up. His blood tests have come back negative, but he needs to be retested again, do you understand that?” Emma smiled, “Dad, are we having the sex talk?” “There’s nothing funny about this young lady!” Henry corrected her. “My husband is on his way home and alive Daddy. I’m going to finally breathe for the first time in forever, I don’t care how he comes home. As long as he’s breathing, I have something to work with,” Emma smiled at Lexi, “Your daddy’s going to be alright and you get to meet him, finally.” “London’s with Troy this weekend, in the garage apartment, correct?” Henry asked. “Yes.” “Good, you can get a feel for what you are dealing with then before she knows,” Henry instructed, “I’ll call Lila and let her in on the events.”
CHAPTER TWO Lila stormed into the house at ten thirty that night, “Emma,” she hugged her tightly. Emma cried and so did Lila. Each time they tried to start a conversation, Emma would cry harder. “How are you going to do this Emma?” Lila asked finally able to speak. “I have no idea.” “I’m staying,” Lila said in her drill sergeant like voice. “Thank you,” Emma smiled. “Hey, at least you’re all waxed.” Emma’s eyes widened and she felt her stomach flip. “Lila I can’t even imagine…and I also can’t imagine not.” “Well I think you’ll know when it’s right,” Lila hugged her again. Emma’s phone rang at three o’clock in the afternoon, “Emma it’s Clive, we’ve landed. Brody would like to stay in a hotel tonight, he’s pretty drunk,” he said agitated. “Oh,” Emma’s heart sank. “Emma, I’m sorry,” Clive whispered. “No that’s fine, but Lila probably needs to talk to him, especially if he’s going to be in a public place. This has been kept quiet, but if he insists on doing that he needs to at least get together with her,” Emma’s voice broke, “I have to go, I’m glad you’re both home safely.” Emma hung up the phone, “Lila, Clive should be contacting you soon, and they’re staying at a hotel this evening. I need to go for a run, could you watch Lexi for a bit?” “Emma I’m so sorry, of course, go,” Lila said and took deep breaths until Emma was changed and out the door. *** Emma was gone two hours, she kissed Lexi as she walked past them and up the stairs to shower. She cried some more in the shower and stood numb. Snap out of it, you have two girls who need you she told herself. Emma was toweling off her hair and she heard the door open, “Thank you Lila for allowing me a moment, I’ll be out in a minute,” Emma brushed her teeth and wrapped in a towel and opened the door. Emma looked up and Brody was standing there, “Honey, I’m home,” he laughed. Emma’s jaw dropped and she couldn’t move or breathe. “You’re beautiful, I married well,” he smiled and raised his eyebrow as he walked towards her and whispered in her ear, “Breathe Emma.” Her body began to shake and she widened her eyes to try and stop the tears she knew were coming. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” He smiled down on her. She shook her head no and immediately wrapped her arms around him and held tightly to him, he giggled. “Wife – I’m drunk and you are...I’m assuming naked under that towel, if you don’t step back I won’t be held accountable for my actions.” “Hi,” she finally said, “You came home.” “Well apparently Lila’s grounded me,” Brody laughed “I can think of much worse places to be than here, damn you smell good,” he wrapped his arms around her, “real good.” Lila walked in the room, “I told you to keep your ass downstairs!” He laughed in a deep husky voice and stroked her back, “I think I like it right here. Emma, can I stay here?”
“Yes,” she let out in a whisper. “See Lila, my wife says I can stay and unless you plan on joining this party you may want to leave,” he laughed and Emma stiffened, “Oh, you don’t like that huh?” “No,” Emma stepped back and looked up at him with hurt eyes. He cocked his head to the side and searched her eyes. “You’re pissed now Wife, wait till you hear what I’ve been up to,” he laughed. Emma turned around and walked into her closet and grabbed a t- shirt and threw it on. She grabbed silky black pajama bottoms and put them on. “Brody, this is your closet, all of your things are exactly where they were when you left. I’ll get you a new toothbrush — I threw yours out today. The bedding’s clean so if you’re tired and need to rest,” she walked into his closet, “Here’s your pajamas.” “I don’t wear pajamas, Wife,” he laughed, “will that be a problem?” “No, this is your room,” Emma looked down. “Have you met your daughter yet?” “No I was hoping my wife would be a bit more welcoming,” he smirked and looked her up and down. “She may have been, but she doesn’t share. Neither did you. You’ll remember Brody, and we’ll figure it out,” Emma reached up to rub his face and he pulled back quickly. “How many people have you fucked since I’ve been gone?!” “None.” Emma started to walk out the door. “I don’t believe you,” he called after her. Emma stopped and turned around, “You will when you remember us.” “Why are those sheets cleaned? The dirty ones in the basket?” He demanded. Emma reached down and grabbed the basket, “I changed the sheets Brody,” she grabbed the pillow case out of the basket, “This is where you laid your head to sleep the night before you left. I didn’t wash them. I kept them on…it made me feel like you were still here. I haven’t slept in here since you ...I couldn’t sleep in here. If you need anything I’ll be downstairs. Oh — here,” she handed him his phone, “This I collected from the London authorities, it’s your phone and it’s charged. If you need me call me or text if you can’t find me, I’ll be downstairs feeding our daughter.” “Emma I’m sorry,” Lila hugged her when she reached the bottom of the stairs. “It’s going to be alright, it’s just going to take time,” Emma forced a smile and walked into the kitchen and made a bottle. She turned and saw Clive and Rupert standing with their heads down. “Thank you Clive.” *** Emma sat in the living room with Lexington rocking and smiling at her, “Your Daddy’s here and I’m sure you’ll see him soon. He’s been through some very rough times. Things you, my sweet little gift, will never know about or have to worry about. I think we should talk more about this later, Mommy’s super exhausted and you should be as well,” Lexi giggled and stuck her fingers in Emma’s mouth, “Yum, yum, yum,” Emma laughed and kissed her face. “Are your teeth bugging you? Let’s get you something cold for your mouth, then its music and sleepy bedtime okay?” They sat and rocked and listened to Brody softly sing on the Bose. “Dada,” Lexi yawned. “Yes, Dada,” Emma smiled and held her tighter and rocked as she cuddled her daughter. Lexi was almost asleep when Emma heard a loud crash and jumped up and scaring Lexi who started to cry. “SHIT,” Brody yelled. Emma walked out and peeked in the kitchen and saw he had dropped a glass, she giggled and Brody looked up. “Did I wake you?” He asked. “No I was awake. Do you need help?” “No, is that...” Brody stopped. “Yes and you did wake her,” Emma smiled.
“Sorry,” Brody started to clean up the glass. “Dada,” Lexi babbled. Emma laughed, “Yep, can you say noisy?” Brody turned slowly and looked at them as they walked by and Emma grabbed a broom and dust pan out of the closet. Lexington laughed, “Dada.” “That’s my daughter?” He asked and swallowed hard. “Yep and Lexi this is...” Emma started. “Dada,” she babbled and smiled, reaching her hands towards him. “Brody,” Emma smiled, “Breathe.” “She knows me?” “Yes. Could you take her for a minute so I can clean this up?” Emma didn’t wait for an answer and handed Lexi to her father for the first time. Lexi babbled Dada and grabbed both sides of his face and started to teethe on his chin, “Emma you should take her, she’s trying to eat me,” Brody said nervously. “She’s teething and that feels good to her, besides — she only has two teeth on the bottom, so she won’t eat much,” Emma joked. “I don’t feel comfortable right now,” Brody said anxiously. “Okay, sorry,” Emma dumped the glass in the trash, “Just let me wash my hands please.” Emma walked over and smiled, “You’re in need of sleep little one. You too,” she said and looked at Brody with a smile, “Let’s get you a teething ring and Daddy a drink.” Emma handed him a glass of water, “Try not to throw this one on the floor.” Emma got herself a drink as Lexi went to town on the teething ring. Brody stood staring at them and looked scared. “Brody would you come sit with us in the living room?” “Sure, I’m still on London time, sorry I interrupted,” he scowled down. Emma laughed, “You know when you talked me into doing this again, you also promised to do nighttime feedings and change dirty diapers. You have eight months of catch- up, Brody.” “This was my idea?” Brody asked shocked. “It was,” Emma laughed “Okay so you really remember nothing about me, so this must feel like the first day at a new school, except everyone knows you. Would you like to watch some home videos? Look at pictures, something to see if…” “Yes, and I do remember some things, I asked who Emma was when I saw Clive,” Brody said looking serious. “I would love to think you remember my name but it may also have to do with this” Emma grabbed his hand and he looked nervous. She took his ring finger and held it up, “Emma and Always” He took her hand and looked at it, “How did you get me to do this and you didn’t?” “Well I didn’t, your idea,” she smiled and he looked at her in disbelief. “Alright then first video we should watch...no we’ll start at the beginning. I made a video scrapbook for the girls in case you didn’t come back.” Emma said sadly, “We can start there.” Emma sat on the couch and grabbed the remote, “Shall I put it in?” Brody asked confused. “No it’s in, sit please,” Emma blushed. Brody took a deep breath and sat across from them, “Dada dada” Lexi clapped when the video began. “Yep,” Emma laughed and kissed her as she climbed around on her lap and grabbed her cheeks and mouthed her chin. Brody watched the video, Emma had put captions on each slide and before each video. The video started with the press pictures in New York. At the park where he ran into her, the picture at the club of them dancing and him handing her a tissue, to the carriage ride with London.
“That’s London, your daughter?” Emma closed her eyes and whispered, “Yes.” Emma sat on the floor and swaddled Lexi who wasn’t a bit tired. She crawled over and pulled herself up on the chair Brody was sitting at and babbled dada. He smiled. “So I hear,” he chuckled, “I wish I remembered, Lexington.” She started to cry and he looked terrified. “I know you’re uncomfortable holding her but if you could maybe sit down here and let her crawl around you it would make her happy,” Emma said softly, “But if you don’t, I can take her in her room and try…” “No, I can do this,” Brody sat on the floor. Lexi climbed on his lap and grabbed her blanket. Emma handed her the pacifier and she just laid looking up at him sucking her pacifier and rubbing the silky part of her blanket against her face, “She likes silk?” Brody whispered when she started to doze. Emma bit her cheek, “Yeah, she does.” “Why is that funny?” Brody asked curiously. “Would you like me to take her to bed?” Emma asked changing the subject. “No she may wake up and try to eat me,” he smiled down at her. Emma stared at him as he watched her sleep, he looked fascinated by her. Thank God, Emma thought and breathed out deeply. Brody looked at her, “She shook— is she alright?” “Yes, that’s what London and Lexi do when they finally fall asleep and apparently I do as well.” The Today Show video was playing and he smiled when he talked about M&M’s, “Did that bother you?” He asked. Emma’s face turned red and she shook her head no. The next was the picture he took after the first time he tied her with scarves, she was asleep. “What was this?” He asked amused. “The day you left for London before we got married,” Emma said softly, “I’m going to put her down, do you want to see her room?” “Can you pause this?” He stood up with her in his arms. “Yes, may I take a picture Brody? Of you two?” Emma asked teary eyed. “Sure.” Brody followed her up the stairs into Lexi’s room. It was decorated with all things music and poster sized pictures of him. He laid her down and stroked her little cheek and stood and stared at her for a minute. Brody finally turned to walk out. “I like her room.” “You picked it all out.” “And her name?” “You picked it,” Emma answered. “Do you do everything I say?” He asked with a smile. Emma smiled, “Would you like a tour of your house?” She said and made a face and shook her head, “That sounds so wrong.” Brody laughed, “Where’s London’s room?” “This is her room,” Emma opened the door and turned on the light. “Where is she?” he asked looking around. “She has a visit with her father this weekend,” Emma said sadly. “And you’re not okay with that? “That’s a very long story, but he’s in a much better place now and you helped me with all of that. Plus he’s staying at the apartment above my parents garage, so Mom and Dad are close by,” Emma smiled. He looked at her, “That smile isn’t sincere.” Emma laughed, “So you tell me.” They returned to the living room and Emma sat on the couch, “May I?” Brody asked and Emma smiled
and nodded her head yes. She pushed play and they watched the interview from when he was in England. “Does that all mean what I think?” He asked with wide eyes. “I don’t know, I wasn’t there, as a matter a fact I was telling you to leave me alone at that point,” Emma laughed and looked up at him. He looked pissed, “Why is that funny?” “I can’t give you everything, then we won’t know when you are actually remembering something or it’s just something I fed to you,” Emma smiled gently The next was pictures from Halloween and then the wedding video, “So you didn’t know at all?” “Well you’d proposed already, and we’d discussed it. We hadn’t set a date, and no I had no idea, it was very sweet,” Emma pushed play and they watched the part where they had lost themselves in the moment, when she jumped on him and wrapped her legs around him. Emma stood up, “Can I get you a drink or something to eat?” Brody’s eyes never left the television, “Water’s fine.” Emma returned and handed him the glass and sat down. “Thank you, Emma.” “You’re very welcome, Brody.” “So I definitely went all out for the honeymoon, The Today Show huh?” Brody smiled. Emma laughed, “It was perfect.” The next videos were the holidays and he laughed when he watched London’s expression as she opened every gift, “She’s beautiful Emma, and funny.” “London adores you, Brody. You’ve been so good for her.” They watched the video of their trip to London and the trip to the cabin he had bought in New Hampshire. Emma fell asleep on the floor wrapped in a ball. Brody looked at her and watched her sleep. Her body quivered like Lexington’s had and he smiled. He bent down and picked her up and carried her up the stairs and gently laid her in their bed. He brushed his teeth and looked in the mirror. He took his shirt off and saw the scar’s across his chest and cringed, remembering the beatings. He turned and looked at his back and saw the scar from the stab wound and took a deep breath. Brody put his shirt back on. He walked out and slipped into bed next to this woman who loved him enough to not give up on him. To wait for him...and he knew she’d gone looking for him. He admired her and loved how she was with his child that she had for him. He reflected on the videos, or the holidays. He smiled when he thought of her laying on their bed as she taped him kissing her belly and giving her injections while she was undergoing fertility treatments so that he could be a father, and London could have a sibling. He laid on his side and watched her sleep. He was fighting to stay awake when she sat up quickly and screamed out his name, and cried. “Emma?” he said looking at her, “Emma, are you awake?” “You’re here, God I’ve missed you,” she cried and held him tightly, “Don’t leave me again please.” She begged. Brody closed his eyes and something flashed through his mind. It was like Déjà vu. She was in a bed and she had an IV, there was another man in the room. He gasped causing her to sit up quickly. “Oh I’m so sorry, I …how did I get in here, are you okay? What time...” Emma began. “It’s two in the morning,” Brody breathed out. Emma smiled, “What’s so funny?” “I ask the time a lot, and you used to call me...” Emma started. “Little white rabbit?” Brody asked. “Yes, Brody,” she grabbed his face and kissed him. “Emma,” he moaned and slowly pulled away. “Oh I’m so sorry,” Emma covered her mouth. “No, you told me no earlier and no means no,” Brody shifted uncomfortably.
“I said no to a threesome Brody,” she snapped and he laughed, “It’s really not funny.” “It’s kind of funny, I was trying to make Lila uncomfortable,” Brody smiled. “Have you ever told me no Emma?” Brody asked curiously. Emma smiled, “Yes.” “And that’s funny?” “Well yes, it was.” Emma giggled and he smiled. “I like your laugh,” he looked in her eyes. “How did I react to that?” “Well it was after two weeks of us knowing one another…” she started. “Two weeks,” he gasped, “You made me wait two weeks?” “Yes, well almost,” she scowled and looked down. “And after that did you tell me ‘no’ a lot?” “Oh no, I wouldn’t dare,” she smiled. “What does that mean?” Brody asked nervously. “You’re going to have to figure that out on your own.” “You fell asleep downstairs, I brought you up here. By the way, you do shake like Lexington. Well, I remembered something I think,” Brody said concentrating. “Did you tell me not to leave you ever again and did you have an IV in your arm and a man who I don’t think I liked was there?” Emma nodded her head quickly yes, and tears started filling her eyes, “Emma, do you cry a lot?” Emma laughed as she wiped them, “Sorry.” “Those videos Emma, I know I loved you that couldn’t have been faked, but I don’t remember you,” Brody was frustrated. “You just got here and you remembered two things Brody, the white rabbit and the cancer,” Emma took his hand. “The what?!” He gasped. “Oh, well I had breast cancer. You were in London when I found out, and that’s why I pushed you away. Well...part of it. I wanted more for you than I had to offer. You have a hard time taking no for an answer. You showed up a week early and I was at Lila’s. I did a very intensive radiation treatment and well, you didn’t leave. Your memory, you went to get a drink and I woke up when Mark was putting in the IV and freaked because you weren’t there. Mark’s a doctor, and since you’ve been gone, he and Lila have married. And they have a baby on the way, but that’s a secret,” Emma laughed. “Are you okay now?” “Yes, I’m fine.” “Did you have your breasts removed?” “You saw me in a towel earlier, you tell me?” Brody smiled, “Alright then.” Emma smiled and looked down, “I wouldn’t let you see them for a while,” she whispered. “Are you whispering because you don’t want them to hear?” Brody whispered back at her with a silly grin. “Maybe I am,” Emma looked at him with a smug look on her face. “Emma, I think they heard you,” Brody looked down biting his lip. “No it was you they heard,” she said embarrassed and started to get up. Brody grabbed her waist and pulled her back to him, “I wasn’t done talking to them Emma,” he whispered in her ear and she moaned as she felt her nipples peak even more. “Please,” she said softly. “You’re frustrating,” he loosened his grip, “Did we play games Emma?” Emma rolled her eyes, “Again, I can’t give you everything.” “Okay so I know you must have a lot of questions, God knows I do, but it seems the closer I get to you
the more I remember,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Right now I know you’re smiling, and I know by saying that you have a bigger smile that makes me… well let’s say you don’t play fair,” Emma pouted. “Turn around and look at me,” he said with that smile plastered across his face. “Nope,” she said quickly. “I want to play a game Emma and no means no so you have the power here…” he started. “Oh no I don’t,” Emma said in a deep voice. “Turn and look at me. Please, Emma,” he asked nicely, “I promise I won’t make this any more uncomfortable for you than it will be for me.” His voice now sounded pained and Emma turned around, “Thank you Em…ma.” He said confused. Emma smiled, “Em, that’s what you always called me.” “Okay Em,” he winked and her eyes widened, “What winks do it for you too?” “No!” her voice cracked. “Okay fine. I want to see your breasts, and if you show me yours I’ll show you mine,” he winked and took a deep breath. “Brody?” “It’s not pretty,” he said and reached over and turned on the bedside light without looking. Emma’s eyes were closed, “You okay?” “I am but you just turned on that light without even looking, like you knew exactly how without thinking, Brody we’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” She opened her eyes and looked into his. “That’s the plan, right?” Brody asked, “But if you can’t handle what I’ve done you can walk away from me and I won’t even ask why. Alright take it off Em, on three, two, one.” Emma closed her eyes and lifted her shirt and he did the same. “God you’re beautiful,” Brody sighed. Emma opened her eyes, and looked at him, “Were you hostage at a gym? You’re…ripped Brody.” “I’m scarred Emma, far worse than this little thing,” Brody traced his finger curiously over it. “I hate whoever did this to you Brody, but you’re here and alive, and half naked in our bed. Our daughter fell asleep on your lap for the first time, and all of what happened to you is my fault, if you never met me you wouldn’t be...oh God, I’m SO sorry,” Emma cried. “Shh,” he pulled her on his lap. “I love you so much,” Emma cried into his shoulder. “Emma I know I’ll get there and I know there’s no way possible that I didn’t feel the same way. Give me time; don’t be angry if I don’t say it back right away, it’s all coming back fast though. Everyone told me it may not happen but it will, I want it to,” Brody held her tightly. Emma sat back and looked at him, “Promise?” “Emma, I promise to try,” Brody said sincerely. “Then that’s all I can ask,” Emma said. “May I kiss you, Mr. Hines?” He smiled, “Yeah.” Emma kissed him softly pulling back she smiled, and moved down his chest kissing each scar across his chest and moved back up to kiss his lips, she looked in his eyes and they were wild and wanting. She smiled and kissed him again. He sat back and let her, she pulled at his lip and he slowly opened his mouth and she lightly touched his tongue with hers and he gripped the bed tightly and shifted. She sat back and looked at him. She smiled and wiggled her bottom against him and he groaned, “I remember this.” “Emma you…FUCK!!” He yelled and kissed her hard on the mouth, she gasped and he flipped her over and kissed her. His hand moved to her breast and she held her breath. There was a knock on the door, “Everything alright in there?” Clive asked. “Yes, go away!” Brody snapped.
“Mrs. Hines, are you alright?” Clive asked. Emma breathed out, “Yes.” “Alright if you need anything,” Clive started. “Goodnight, Clive,” Brody snapped and Emma laughed, “They think I’ll hurt you Emma, it’s not funny.” Brody sat up. “Where do you think you’re going?” Emma asked giggling. “I don’t know that I won’t,” Brody grabbed his hair in anger. “I know you won’t,” Emma said taking his hands. He looked at her and scowled, “This is ‘tormented rock star’.” Emma smiled, “He’s cute and very interesting but I like ‘hot and all over me rock star’.” “Emma,” he said still scowling. “Are you telling me no Brody?” “No, I’m saying not yet.” “Okay,” Emma said, “There’s a door behind your clothes with a couple more videos; you’re the only one with the key. Do you think you could figure out where it is?” He looked confused, “I guess I could try, do you need it now?” “Uh huh.” Brody walked in the closet and pushed the clothes aside, “Will you come help me out?” “Sure,” Emma answered and walked into the closet with just her panties on. “Do you walk around like that all the time?” Brody asked as if it pained him. Emma smiled, “No, just on special occasions,” she grabbed one of his shirts and slipped it on, “Sorry if that offended you.” “Look what I found,” Brody took the key and unlocked the door. “Brody just so you know third drawer’s a no go, you’ve said so, I’ve never been in here alone and I just want the videos please,” Emma asked shyly. “Wow, that’s unexpected,” Brody said and walked out, “You into all that Emma?” “I have to say no based on the fact that I’ve never used toys and I don’t know what’s in the third drawer.” “Have you had a lot of sexual partners Emma?” Brody asked. “Well you already know this but Troy, London’s father, was my first and then you,” Emma said and looked down. “You’ve only been with two people?” he asked shocked. “Yes Brody, and I know you had sex when you were way too young…you’ve had lots of sex, at least twenty people, and Jemma until her death. I know you moved here and had seven partners in seven years, one would be Ariel who somehow found her way on a plane next to you the first time you left for London, which by the way I still wonder how that happened. And then me.” “How did you get all that information?” Brody gasped. “Well my husband or fiancée at that time, trusted and loved me enough to tell me everything. Which made me fall even more deeply in love with him and trust him with everything. It was a beautiful, perfect marriage. We trusted each other, and there were no secrets until he left me and went to London to find my sister. Imagine my surprise when my husband and father withheld information from me and it resulted in eight months of hell,” Emma frowned and looked down, she looked up at him and saw the hurt in his eyes, “Please don’t look like that, I didn’t mean to hurt you, sorry.” “I’m very tired, do you want to watch the videos?” “No, we can sleep. We were going to watch these on our anniversary, never before seen footage,” she laughed. “Emma was one on our honeymoon?” “Yes, Brody.” Emma smiled.
“Today Show?” He asked. She nodded her head yes and smiled, “Em, could we watch it?” “Yes,” she put it in and jumped on the bed and sat at the end with her legs crossed. They watched the video and Emma’s face was red by the end, “Well, that was nice,” Brody laughed. “Yes, it was,” Emma got up and went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She came out and climbed into the bed and under the covers, “Goodnight Brody.” “Hey Em, could you sleep next to me?” Brody asked quietly. She scooted over next to him. He wrapped his arms around her, “This feels like home, Em.” “That’s because it is,” Emma pulled his arms tighter around her. *** Emma woke to Brody thrashing and crying out, “No damn it no, Emma!” “Brody wake up,” Emma sat up and turned on the light. “Get the fuck away!” He screamed, “No fucking more, get the fuck away!” “Brody wake up please, it’s Emma, wake up please,” Emma grabbed his hands and he pushed her way. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Clive busted through the door and grabbed him, “Wake up, Brody!” Brody swung and hit him hard in the face, and sat up, “I will fucking kill you!” Emma stood in terror, and Lila ran in, “Emma come on, Clive has him come on.” “No!” She snapped. “Emma?” Brody yelled and looked at her. “I’m here,” she ran back to him and held him. “Don’t you fucking leave me!” He snapped and grabbed her face, his eyes glazed from sleep and anger, “Do you understand?” “Yes, I won’t Brody, I won’t,” she hugged him and he pulled her tightly to him. “I love you Em, don’t leave me,” Brody said clinging to her. Emma looked behind her, “Good night.” Clive and Lila left. “God...I’m so sorry,” Brody squeezed her tightly to him. “No don’t you dare be sorry,” Emma said and held him. They fell asleep wrapped tightly in each other’s arms. Emma woke and heard Lexi babbling on the monitor. She reached over and turned it off and slid out from under Brody. *** Emma was feeding Lexi and making airplane noises when Brody walked in to the kitchen. “Good morning Em,” he smiled. Emma looked up and grinned, “Good morning. Come sit and I’ll make you breakfast.” “I’m really not hungry, but thank you,” he said still standing in the doorway. “Well I’m going to feed you anyways, come sit please,” Emma demanded. Brody sat and looked at Lexi, “Good morning Princess,” he whispered. “DADADADA” Lexi screeched and laughed out loud. “Wow,” Emma laughed. “What did you feed this child, Em?” Brody laughed. “Rice cereal, it’s next to you, she may want more,” Emma laughed at Lexi’s excitement. Brody took a taste with his finger, “Oh God Lexington that’s disgusting,” he laughed and she laughed at him, “Can we feed her something else? She certainly shouldn’t have to eat this rubbish.”
“She likes it, try to feed her,” Emma smiled. “Alright, your Mommy thinks you like this, so could you be a dear and open your mouth?” Brody asked. Lexi took a bite and spit it all over him, Emma laughed. “See she hates it,” Brody laughed as he wiped his face. “No that means she’s full, London taught her that trick,” Emma giggled. Emma placed eggs, ham, and toast in front of Brody, “Can she have this?” “NO!” Emma gasped. “Okay,” he laughed. “Now eat,” Emma picked up the fork and made airplane noises to him and shoved the fork in his mouth. She grabbed a napkin and wiped the remaining cereal off his face and smiled. “Emma, did you hurt your hand once over there?” Brody asked pointing towards the stove. “Yes,” she smiled. “I bandaged it up?” He asked cocking his head to the side. “Yes, you wrapped it up very nicely,” Emma chuckled. “I want to see London, when can I?” He stood up and walked over to her. “Sunday,” “When you were hurt what was the argument over? And did I sit you here?” He grabbed her and sat her on the counter. Emma gasped, “Uh huh.” “Very nice, and did I eat dinner that night?” He smiled. “Yep,” she said and hopped down. “Did I like it?” Brody asked nuzzling into her hair. “Not nearly as much as I did,” she said under her breath. “Mmm, M&M’s and bows,” Brody whispered, “I remember that.” “You need to stop before...” Emma started. “You need to come, Emma,” he said smiling. “Brody,” she turned around. “Well?” he asked. “You’re going to have to wait two weeks,” Emma smiled and turned around. “Like hell I am,” he grabbed her. Emma shrieked and ran, “You are too!” “Mrs. Hines,” Clive raced in. Emma stopped and her face turned red, “Yes?” “Everything alright?” He asked. “For God sakes Clive, everything’s fine,” Brody snapped. “Emma?” Lila ran out. Emma laughed, “Good morning everyone, Rupert.” Emma fed them all breakfast, “Lexi and I are going to shower,” Emma smiled. “Is that safe?” Brody asked alarmed. “Well, sure it’s also very necessary or I won’t get one before naptime,” Emma picked her up. “Pew, yucky pants, your Daddy should do this,” Emma laughed. “Do you want me to?” He asked, shocked. Emma laughed, “We can wait a few days until we force that upon you.” “Well I can watch her while you shower?” Brody offered. “Miss Lexi, a shower all by myself sounds great, after we change those pants.” Emma laughed. “I would like to come watch,” Brody said following her. Emma turned around in shock, and Lila
laughed. Brody smiled, “To learn Emma, the diaper thing.” “Of course,” Emma blushed and walked up the stairs. *** “That’s disgusting,” Brody gagged, “You’re a nasty little thing.” Emma laughed, “Wait until it’s up her back and down her legs.” “Does that happen often?” Brody asked looking horrified. “No, but it’s very hard to stomach. Okay, you have this now?” Emma asked. “Yes, come Princess let’s go see what kind of trouble we can get into,” he smiled as he picked her up, “Have a nice shower Em.” When Emma finished getting ready she walked downstairs, Henry was there and they all sat at the table. “Good morning Princess, are you still upset with me?” Henry asked and hugged her. “Good morning Daddy, no of course not, I was just …” Emma stopped, “I was mad.” “Why were you angry Emma?” Brody asked. “Well maybe not angry, emotional I guess,” Emma smiled softly. “No you were pissed, I wouldn’t let her call you,” Henry smiled. “I see,” Brody looked at her, “Would you like to take Lexington? We need to discuss a few things here.” “Umm no. I think I’ve been kept in the dark about enough, I’ll be staying.” Emma took Lexi, “Come here Lexi.” “I don’t wish to do this now,” Brody stood up and walked away. Emma followed him, “Because I’m here?” “I don’t want you here for this,” he said looking into her eyes and he was angry. “Well I think I should be, shouldn’t I know what’s going on?” Emma asked and reached to touch his face. “No,” Brody stepped back. “Fine. Have it your way, Brody,” Emma walked past him fighting tears. He stood and watched her as she disappeared up the stairs. Emma came down two hours later, and they were still sitting at the table talking. They all quieted down when she walked in the room, “I’m going to make my daughter a bottle,” she snapped and went to the cupboard. “Dada,” Lexington babbled and held her hands out to him. Brody smiled and stood up, “May I?” Emma handed her to him and she laughed. “She likes you, Brody,” Henry smiled. “Yes, well your Princess watched home videos everyday so that Lexi would know me,” Brody smiled and looked at Lexington. Emma walked up and held her hands out for Lexi. “You did?” Henry asked, “That must have been hard, Emma.” “No that was nothing, this right here is hard, but I’ll figure it out,” she left the room and started up the stairs. “What is that supposed to mean?” Brody snapped. “Don’t worry about it,” Emma walked briskly up the stairs. Brody stormed up the stairs and swung opened the door and Emma jumped, “Would you like all the gory detail love? Do you want to look at me with hate instead of love?” “Brody that’s…” Emma said softly. “I cheated on you,” he hissed, “Does that feel better now?”
“I’m feeding our daughter, this is an inappropriate time for this,” Emma said sternly. He scowled at her prude like attitude and walked out. *** Emma sat at the computer and checked her email. She printed out a couple manuscripts that she was to read, her phoned chimed. - Could you please come out now? …Lila Emma took her time and gathered her papers and stapled them together. She walked into the kitchen and sat perched on the counter. Lila stood and handed her a piece of paper, “This is the press release we sent. Brody and you can…” “Are you kidding me?” Emma jumped off the counter, “Where are my damn keys Rupert?” “What is it?” Lila asked. “Do any of you think?” Emma said shaking, trying not to cry. “Elizabeth is aware of the situation,” Henry said standing up. Emma laughed, “That’s great Daddy. But how about London, and Troy? Did you all let them know as well?” “Of course not,” Lila said. “Well how long do you think it’ll take for this to get out? MY FUCKING KEYS RUPERT NOW!” Emma yelled. “I’ll drive you,” Rupert said and walked to the door. “NO! I’ll handle this,” Emma snapped. “Em, just sit down…” Brody said nervously. “I’m not joking, I can walk if I need to,” Emma said through her teeth. “Wow...you’re pissed,” Brody said wide eyed. “Really — you caught that? This is my daughter we’re talking about, one who you always thought of before making choices. And Daddy, I know your head is up your ass about Elizabeth, and the stroke, and everything...but she’s crazy and nasty and I’ve dealt with that as well. I make the choices for my children, got it?!” Emma snapped, “Rupert — I still don’t see my FUCKING keys.” Brody stood up, “Clive, I would like to go too.” “No,” Emma said, “You stay here and do whatever it is you need to do. Lila, please listen for Lexi she’ll probably sleep for two hours.” “I’m coming Emma, you don’t get to choose,” Brody sneered. “That’s where you are wrong, I’ll take care of it. But could you possibly let me know when decisions are made that will affect our children?” Emma said and walked out. Clive opened the door and Emma got in, “Could you please drive fast Clive I swear to God…” Emma started to cry and the privacy window came down, Emma looked up as Brody was sliding in the back through the window, “Are you serious?” “Look I’m going to fuck up several times over the next…fifty years. But don’t do that shit to me Emma,” Brody demanded. “Do what shit? How did you expect me to respond when I’m pushed away?” Emma snapped, “You know what...I can’t do this right now.” “Okay,” he said and looked down. Emma called Troy, “Hey, do you have a minute?” “Well no...yes…. I don’t know Emma. What the hell is going on? Elizabeth was just here and said Brody’s alive?” Troy asked. “SHE WHAT?” Emma gasped.
“Is it true?” Troy asked, “I mean your sister’s a nut job Emma.” “Yes it’s true, we’re actually on our way over now to tell London, I was calling you to give you a heads up. I can’t believe she would do this,” Emma said shaking, “Unbelievable, please tell London we’re on our way, and Troy — he doesn’t remember a lot. Please let her know, this was supposed to have gone much smoother than this, damn it.” Emma grabbed a tissue, “I’m sorry Emma,” Brody said softly “It is what it is,” Emma wiped away tears. “What can I do for you?” Brody asked in a tone that reminded her of a whipped child. “Get better, trust me. Let me ask you a question, when you stormed in and told me you cheated on me, did you have sex with someone remembering me or were you drugged or forced?” Emma asked. “I really don’t know Emma, I don’t remember,” he said sadly. “Okay so you don’t remember me or having sex with whoever?” Emma asked. “I don’t remember you Emma, I remember the sex,” Brody said and looked down. “Did you like it, did you seek it?” Emma asked. “I know I didn’t seek it, did you see the marks Emma?” Brody asked with a forced laugh. “Sorry,” Emma looked down. “That’s not cheating Brody, that’s rape,” Emma whispered. Brody looked at her, “And this is why I didn’t want you to know, the way you’re looking at me now. The way everyone will look at me from now on.” “I love you, I’m not looking at you any differently than I would anyone else who was struggling,” Emma said and hugged him, “Now what the hell am I doing? I’m pissed at you, right? Yes...I’m pissed.” Brody laughed, “You’re very funny.” “I’m not trying to be. How are we going to do this?!” Emma said as they got closer to her parents’ house. “Tell her as much as she can handle, nothing more right?” Brody smiled and Emma nodded her head. “Can you please give me a few minutes to talk to her alone?” Emma asked as she looked up at him. Brody looked at her and stared into her eyes, “God Em,” he said and kissed her. “As nice as that is Brody, we’ll be there any minute…” Emma started and he kissed her again. “You taste so good,” he said and sat up and grabbed her back and pulled her into him, “I’ve missed you,” he kissed her again, he pulled away and pressed the call button, “Clive pull over and take a walk.” “Yes sir,” Clive said. “Brody — they’re expecting us,” Emma gasped as he kissed her again. “I need you now,” Brody said, “I’ll be quick.” Brody started to pull her pants down. “Brody wait, we need a condom, a bed,” Emma started and his hands slide down her thigh and slowly he eased his finger into her, she moaned. “You’re so tight Emma, and hot and wet, they did testing I’m all good, but this is going to take a while to get into,” he said and slowly moved his finger up and down, “Does this feel good Emma?” “God yes,” she moaned. “Then you’re going to love this,” Brody licked his lips and went down, his tongue lightly skimmed her clit and she gasped, as he sucked and nipped her. His tongue plunged deep inside her and she tried to pull back and he grabbed her waist and plunged his skillful tongue even deeper. “Brody, please not now,” she gasped. “Emma,” he said looking up at her as he used his finger to pleasure her, “I need to taste you, please don’t tell me no.” She felt the knowing tightening below her bellybutton. Her back arched and she felt her whole body tighten as she screamed out his name. His mouth moved swiftly down to where it had been and he sucked and tugged at her. She felt like she
was literally going to explode, her hand found his hair and his moved to her breast, her body quaked and she pulled back again, “Oh no Em, I want more, come for me again, come now!” He demanded as his finger plunged deeper. Her body released her orgasm and he buried his face deeper into her and savagely called her body to orgasm again. “Brody,” she yelled out and he continued a bit longer. He sat up and texted Clive, Emma sat up and grabbed tissues and watched him as he washed his face and sat back, and looked down, “Are you satisfied, Emma?” “Yes,” Emma said in a whisper. Brody sat back and looked complacently out the window, “Brody?” “Yes,” he asked still staring out the window. “Why aren’t you looking at me?” she whispered looking down. “Sorry, Em,” he said and turned and took her hand. “You need to talk to me,” Emma said sadly, “Where are you right now?” “Emma love I’m right here, now pull yourself together,” he said and patted her hand.
CHAPTER THREE Emma felt sick to her stomach as they pulled in. She looked at him and his expression was unchanged. She opened the door still looking at him and London dove into the car, “Brody!!!” She shrieked. He turned and looked at her and smiled, “Well hello there, London.” “Are you alright?” She scampered across Emma and sat right next to him, “Give it to me straight I can handle it. Tell me everything.” Brody laughed, “I have no doubt you could, but to be honest...I don’t remember much of the past almost two years, but your mother seems quite sure it’ll be alright.” “Well then, you will be. What blanks can I fill in for you?” London asked smiling at him. “Well I could really use the restroom, do you think you could manage showing me that?” Brody smiled. “Yep, let’s go,” she said climbing across his lap and opening the door, “Come on!” Troy looked at Emma, “This is insane Emma. Do they know who had him?” “No, not yet,” Emma said and started to cry. Troy hugged her, “It’s going to be alright Emma.” “Troy — I don’t trust Elizabeth, I can’t believe she did that, I wanted to tell you and our daughter.” “Yeah, about your sister, she kind of showed up after London was tucked in bed and well — she came onto me Emma,” Troy said his tone full of disgust. “She did what?” Emma snapped. “Yep, and it took me threatening to call Henry to get her out of there, she was um, very...aggressive,” Troy said, his eyes angry. “Where is she?” Emma snapped. “I don’t know,” Troy said shaking his head. “Okay, you two can stay at our house tonight,” Emma said, “I’ll get the bags and you can get London down here.” Elizabeth was in the kitchen and rolled her eyes at Emma, “Hey London, can you go wait downstairs with your Dad for a minute?” “Sure, bye Aunt Elizabeth,” London said skipping out the door. “Elizabeth — you and I need to talk,” Emma snapped. “About what?” she asked in a sticky sweet voice. “Last night? What were you doing up here?” “I came up to see my niece,” Elizabeth answered. “You’re well aware of her bedtime you knew she was in bed. You came up here and tried to get Troy in bed,” Emma snapped. “No, that’s not true,” Elizabeth scowled. “Really? Well, he just told me that you were quite aggressive with him and he threatened to call our father, so are you saying he’s a liar?” Emma snapped. “I told you I didn’t do anything, why don’t you believe me? Oh I see, because of my past you’ll never trust me, even though it wasn’t my fault?” Elizabeth said and began to cry as she raised her eyebrow. “Oh give it up! I’ve dealt with your nonsense for almost a year. Your passive aggressive shit doesn’t fly anymore.” Emma yelled. “How can you be so mean Emma after all I’ve been through?” Elizabeth cried, “Why can’t you accept me?”
“What the hell are you talking about? I’ve tried to, and now I can’t even leave my children here because you’re such a fucking mess. What was the reason behind telling Troy and London about Brody? That isn’t your place Elizabeth – I’m her mother, and she should’ve heard it from ME,” Emma said loudly. “Oh I know...I’m a whore, without children, and the one who got your husband messed up in this. Now he’s fucked up and tainted like me and you blame me for that, don’t you?” Elizabeth yelled back. “No he’s nothing like you, nothing!” Emma snapped, “I’m getting London’s things together...she and Troy will be staying at our place because you can’t be trusted!” Emma walked out of the bedroom with London and Troy’s bags and Brody was holding Elizabeth as she cried, “You’re going to be alright, it’ll get easier,” he whispered. Emma gasped, “Get the fuck out, Elizabeth!” “Emma, you don’t understand what she’s lived,” Brody said softly scolding her. “Get the fuck out!” She screamed. “Thank you Brody, good luck trying to get her to understand,” Elizabeth said kissing his cheek softly as she stared at Emma and smirked. Emma ran towards her and Brody grabbed her, “Enough Emma!” “You’re taking her side? What’s wrong with you, do you know what she’s done to me Brody?” Emma snapped. “The list is very long of what’s wrong with me Emma, and by your reaction to her I’m so glad I never told you. Troy’s staying at our home? I’ll be staying at a hotel.” Brody said and set her down. “Like hell you are!” Emma snapped. “I may remember a little of us Emma and some of you, but this today...is not what I remember at all. So I’m going to take a step back and figure this out. You’re trusting the man you divorced over your sister, who trust me, lived through hell for years. That’s wrong. I’m as fucked up as she is and you’re even worse. Now pull yourself together for your daughter and let’s go.” Brody instructed. “No, No!” Emma screamed, “None of that is true Brody. Don’t you use this as an excuse to run, something changed in the car after…well during or after. Don’t you take the side of a deranged woman who you just met!” “I remember her Emma and you don’t even want to know how, now let’s go,” Brody snapped. Emma felt her legs turn to mush and her heart raced and she couldn’t breathe, “Need a minute Emma?” “Before or after?” Emma breathed out. “Both, years ago and the first one while I was being held,” Brody looked in her eyes and his expression was unreadable. “So now you’re comforting your lover?” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “She wasn’t my lover Emma. We need to go, now!” Emma stood frozen and covered her face as she sobbed. Brody put his hand to his chest as he watched her cry. He clenched his jaw and let out a deep breath and grabbed her, pulling her into his arms. “Damn it Em, this is going to get even harder. But I can tell you I didn’t enjoy watching that fuck hug you out there, after everything he’s done to you and London,” he snapped and pulled her harder into him. Emma looked up, “You remember?” Brody’s eyes widened and he looked as if he was searching. He looked down at Emma, “Yes, I also have fond memories of being over there,” he said and pointed to the chair he proposed in. “Where did you go? In the car, where did you go?” Emma cried. “I’m not sure,” he kissed her nose, “This is a fucked up mess Emma, if you want to cut and run you need to do it soon, the memories come in waves love. Not all pretty but that memory, the one over there on the chair was like a fucking tsunami.” “We should go.”
*** “Everything alright?” Troy asked. “Yes,” Brody said pulling her protectively into him, his eyes deadlocked on Troy’s. “Can I ride with them Dad?” London asked. Troy smiled, “I was actually thinking you may want some time alone with Brody, Mom, and your sister. So I’m going head back if that’s alright with you.” “Thanks Dad,” London hugged him, “Let’s roll Clive.” Brody laughed and followed her into the car. Emma turned to Troy, “Thanks.” “No problem. Please keep me updated, and I think maybe we could talk about visitation, I’m not liking it here Emma” Troy kissed her cheek. Emma pulled away and looked at him, “I’m not trying to stress you out, just tell me what to do,” Troy hugged her and the car door opened. “Let’s go wife,” Brody snapped and grabbed her hand. Troy laughed and Brody gave him a nasty look. “Nice seeing you again Brody, and congratulations on your daughter, she’s an absolute doll.” “How do you know?” Brody snapped and turned around. “Well I’ve spent some time with her, just like you’ve with mine, one big happy family Brody,” Troy smiled and walked to his car. “Brody, let’s go, London’s waiting,” Emma squeezed his hand. They got in the car and London laughed, “Well, I see you remember my father.” “Sorry about that London,” Brody smiled apologetically. *** The entire ride home London chatted with Brody filling him in on all that he had missed as he listened enthusiastically. When the car pulled to a stop Emma jumped out and took a deep breath. She felt dirty and confused. His mood changes were exhausting and she knew she was in for far more than what she’d already experienced. She watched as he smiled at London and walked into the house. The door shut behind them and she was able to take another deep breath before walking into the house. *** “You and I need to talk,” Emma said looking at Henry. Brody looked down and softly touched her back, “Now isn’t a good time, London just came home.” Lila looked confused, “Elizabeth,” Emma sneered. Brody watched Lila’s face. He knew there was more to the story than what he’d caught and he knew he’d screwed up by telling his wife about her sister the way he did. Emma saw him staring and she looked at him and quickly looked away. *** Emma looked at the clock and knew Lexi would be up soon. She grabbed London and hugged her, “A little weird huh?” “Back from the dead,” London said in a zombie voice and Emma laughed and hugged her, “You never believed he was gone, Mom.” “No I didn’t.” London hugged her tightly and Emma could hear the soft little whimpers against her neck. Emma smiled and picked her up, “Let’s go somewhere quiet.” They sat in the office and hugged as London cried, “Mommy, is he going to remember everything?” “He remembers more every day. It’ll all work out eventually,” Emma said smiling at her as she
pushed her hair out of her face. “What did they do to him, Mommy? Aunt Elizabeth said something about a sex ring? What does that mean?” Emma was pissed, “It means your aunt is even crazier than I thought fuc…possible.” “Mom, I heard grandpa and grandma talk about it. That Aunt Elizabeth and Brody knew each other from when they were younger, Grandma said he was fourteen. It was in London and that they knew each other in the Biblical sense. Did they go to church together?” Emma was shocked; her eight years old knew more about this than she did. She was angry that her parents knew and so very angry that Brody was fourteen when that bitch had him. She was three years older than Emma, so that made her almost twenty three years old when she fucked fourteen year old Brody, who had just lost his mother. Emma pulled her tight to her and clenched her teeth together tightly and scrunched her eyes, she wanted to scream. “Probably London,” she managed to say and then opened her eyes. Brody was in the doorway with a pained look on his face. His expression was hurt mixed with guilt. He shook his head and mouthed ‘sorry’ to Emma; she managed to give him a half smile. He knocked on the door jam. London jumped, “Sorry, did I scare you?” Brody asked. “Nope,” London smiled. “Good, may I sit?” Brody asked. “Sure.” London wiped her nose on Emma shirt. Emma tried to smile. “How are you doing?” Brody asked her as Lexi’s voice came over the monitor babbling dada. “I’ll go get your sister, you okay for a while?” she asked London. “Yep,” London smiled. *** Emma walked out of the room and London looked up at him, “Mom missed you a lot.” “I know and how about you?” Brody asked. Her lip began to quiver and she hugged him tightly, “I missed you more.” Brody hugged her and she cried, “Hey, I may not remember everything yet, and it’s because the people who had me gave me lots of medicine and I’m sure I had a pretty nasty blow to my head, but I remember being just like this once before, but in the apartment. I told you it would be alright then and it was, right?” “Yep,” she cried. “Well I’m going to do my best this time as well,” Brody kissed her head and pulled her on his lap. “Okay,” London cried, “I love you, Brody.” “Oh London, I love you…more,” he smiled. Emma walked in feeding Lexi, “Everything alright?” She asked rubbing London’s hair. “Yep,” London stayed right where she was. Henry walked in, “I’m going to be back later, your mother needs my help with something,” he said and shook his head at Emma. “Well by all means hop to it, but do me a favor Dad, do keep in mind who I am,” Emma said sharply. “Yes, and you should do so as well,” Henry retorted. “Bye Grandpa,” London waved. “See you later London,” Henry said and walked out. Lila walked in, “We need some family photos to release of this reunion, before we’re swarmed by press here.” “Brody, you need a haircut,” London laughed.
“You don’t say?” he laughed back and tickled her. “Emma, I’ll finish feeding Lexi, you go get ready,” Lila instructed. “Well London, what shall we wear?” Emma asked. “Christmas PJ’s…I know you bought some for him too, that would be perfect, maybe we could give him all those presents you have tucked away in the closet,” London laughed, “I’ll go get mine and Lexi’s.” “She’s serious, isn’t she?” Brody smiled cautiously. “Oh yes, is that alright?” Emma asked standing up. “Yes, but we need to talk about earlier and about what London said,” Brody said grabbing her hand. “Not now please,” Emma pulled her hand away, “We need to get ready.” *** They all sat in front of the fireplace with their matching footy pajamas on, Lila put a newspaper in the floor with today’s date and Emma and London brought down his gifts. “Emma sit next to me?” Brody asked. “I think you should hold Lexi.” “Alright,” he said softly. He knew she was distancing herself and he didn’t like that he’d brought it on himself. They took several photos of him opening his gifts and laughing with London and Lexi. He opened the last one and read the note inside, My Dearest Brody, This is our second Christmas as man and wife. Though you’re not here I still know you’re sleeping under the same moon and stars we are. I know that the sun is shining over your head and the air that fills my lungs still fills yours. My empty arms ache to hold you and my lips miss yours against them. It is Christmas, a day to celebrate the greatest miracle of all and I believe in miracles. Brody, I believe that you’ll return home to us. Yours Always and Forever, Em
Brody looked up at her and felt his eyes fill, he reached in the box and pulled out an ornament, It had all four of their names on it and written around it was the word believe, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Em please, I know you’re upset but please come here.” Emma walked over and he pulled her on his lap and grabbed her face and kissed her, he held his forehead to hers, “I love you. Please believe me.” He wrapped his arms around her and she finally wrapped hers around him and he let out a breath and tears fell, “I’m sorry.” *** Emma swallowed hard fighting back her own tears, “Ok, Lila are we done here?” She asked, standing up. “Sure are, these are great!” Lila clapped. Emma ran into the bathroom and collapsed on the floor and cried. It hadn’t even been twenty four hours and she felt emotionally drained, like any little thing could bring her to tears. “Mom! Brody wants to order pizza and watch Christmas movies!” London yelled. “Okay give me a minute, please.” Emma said rinsing her face. Emma walked out to the kitchen and Brody walked in behind her, “Emma, what can I do to help?” He asked with pleading eyes. “Enjoy yourself, breathe, watch Christmas movies,” Emma smiled, “I’ll order pizza.” “Em,” he started.
“We’ll be fine, this is just going to be a lot of work,” Emma patted his back. “Okay, if that’ll make you happy,” he said and turned to walk away. “Wait,” she yelled and he turned around and his shoulders slumped and his hands shoved in his pockets, he let out a breath. “Yes Emma?” he asked quietly. “Okay — I don’t want you to hurt and I don’t want to hurt. I can’t live like that again; I did that for many years. That isn’t how we are. That being said, you need to be honest with me and I’ll be honest with the way I feel, always. I’ll be more considerate of you and try to understand that you need time. But you need to give me answers...I don’t want to be blindsided.” “Okay, but if you leave me Emma,” he shook his head back and forth. “Please don’t think like that. This should be wonderful, you’re home,” Emma grabbed his face, “You are home.” He pulled her tightly into his arms and nuzzled into her neck, “You smell so good.” “So you say.” “Will you come watch movies and eat pizza and snuggle with the beautiful little angels?” Brody asked. “Yes, I’m going to order the pizza, do you still like it loaded with meat?” “Yes, and thick crust from that place…Medallions?” Brody smiled. “Good job rock star,” Emma laughed. Brody’s eyes twinkled, “Your approval means so much to me.” *** The girls were in bed and Emma went to the office to work. She was editing when she heard her father come in. She hit save and went out to the kitchen. “Hello,” she said as she looked down. “Your sister’s a mess, Emma,” Henry threw his jacket over the back of the chair. “Well, I kind of get that,” Emma grabbed a bottle of water. She threw her hair up in a bun and grabbed Brody’s sweatshirt and put it on and shoved it over her nose smelling his delicious scent. “You’re being very hard on her,” Henry sat down. “Well let me apologize….” Emma said raising her eyebrow. “Emma, could I stay please?” Brody asked. “Sure, two against one sounds fabulous,” she laughed. “Ok, so you accused your sister of trying to seduce Troy?” Henry asked. “Yep, he told me she did,” Emma answered, “Let me ask you something Dad. Why was she over there? Why didn’t you know she was there? After last week’s nonsense, I thought I’d made myself clear that she’s not to be around them without at least two other adults. And if you don’t believe me, ask Rupert — he was there,” she looked at Brody. “Which by the way was about nine months in the making, and after today’s enlightening bit of information, which you ALSO knew, my husband who was a boy had fucked my sister before sending him back in the bowels of hell to drag her out? That’s unbelievable to me.” “You don’t know what you would do to save your child Emma, especially one that you failed.” He offered, “And I’m sorry about what happened. I truly am, but I couldn’t let her rot,” Henry snapped. “That’s fine, whatever you need to tell yourself. But my husband fucked her again and she’s known for months he was there…” “You don’t know that Emma, she would have told us that,” Henry gasped. “Of course she would. Here’s the deal: I’ve been through the worst hell in my life, more devastating than fertility issues, more devastating than my divorce, through both of those I’ve had you both and I’m truly appreciative for that. But you have lied to me, and put her needs before mine. When I have two
children and their needs are equally important to me. Speaking of, how is it that my eight year old daughter knew about the connection between the two of them,” she said waving her hand towards Brody, “Before I did? Oh and the term ‘sex ring?’ Not something I want to explain to her...but that — bitch used those words when she decided to tell my eight year old that the man who had been more of a father to her than hers ever was, is alive?!” “Emma, I…” Henry began. “No, I’m trying my hardest to spread myself between two beautiful little girls, a fulltime job, and the man I love. I don’t have it in me to let that sadistic bitch continue to batter me whenever she sees fit. So I’m working from home now, I won’t need any help with my children. I love you, but until you take the blinders off and stop enabling her behavior — I’ll keep my distance. Troy no longer wants to do visitation there so I’ll be figuring that out as well. I won’t pretend with her; I will set boundaries if and when I feel like I can be part of her life again, it will be on my terms. I’m pissed and hurt right now. I can empathize with your situation but it doesn’t mean I’ll put my children at risk.” Emma sat back and took a drink. “Elizabeth would like permission to talk with Brody; she feels it would help both of them. I don’t disagree,” Henry said. Emma’s jaw dropped and she looked at Henry and then looked at Brody who sat with his head down and arms crossed over his chest, “Goodnight.” Emma said and stood up. “Emma wait,” Henry snapped. “What Dad, does she want my children as well?” Emma laughed. “You’re being so unlike yourself,” Henry said shaking his head. “Oh I’m SO sorry — but I don’t trust your judgment anymore. I love you Dad, but I don’t trust you,” Emma said and turned to walk away. “You don’t trust her, or me, but your husband you trust?” Henry snapped. “You lied to me, she lied to me…Brody lied for me. As wrong as it is, there is a difference. Again, I’m going to bed.” Emma walked up the stairs and went into London’s room and tucked her in and turned on the monitor she had under the bed. London knew it was there but preferred it to be hidden, it made her feel safe but she didn’t want to seem like a baby, so they compromised. She covered her up and kissed her head. She walked up to Lexington’s room, covered her up and kissed her sweet little cheek. Emma lay in the bed she had slept in for more than eight months and tried to sleep. She lay there thinking until her head hurt. *** Brody walked up the stairs and into their bedroom and Emma wasn’t there. He walked into London’s room, “Goodnight London,” he whispered and kissed her forehead. He walked into Lexington’s room and smiled as he looked at her, “Well Princess, things are a bit of a mess right now, but it’ll get better,” he bent down and kissed her head and she opened her eyes and laughed. “Oh no you don’t go back to sleep,” he giggled, “Your Mommy is going to skin me alive, shhh go to sleep,” she giggled. “Well at least you’re happy with me, come here crazy baby.” He picked her up and grabbed her blanket, “So how does this work?” he laughed, “You’re getting sleeeeepy.” Emma smiled as she watched them. “So what do I do to fix all this Lexi?” he asked and she laughed. “Okay, but your mother may think I’ve gone mad if I just laugh all the time,” Lexi started to grunt and he looked at her, “Oh no you don’t, please Princess not now, wait for your…oh love you did didn’t you? This isn’t good at all, your Mommy is hiding on me and you’ve soiled yourself,” he laid her on the changing table. “Okay there’s a lot of buttons here, could you please stay still, oh Lexi, please stop squirming.” He finally unbuttoned her and started to undo the diaper, “Oh wow, umm, isn’t there a call button or monitor, Hello Emma,” he said and gagged, “How the hell — oh I mean how on earth did all that come out of that tiny little belly, what did
she feed you? Please don’t move…oh this isn’t good…we need a change of clothes,” he pulled his shirt over his nose and Lexi laughed, “How does this not bother you? It’s quite disgusting and all over you, shit!” Emma couldn’t sit back any longer, “Would you like some help?” “Oh God Em, look at what she’s done, I mean I’m sure I didn’t help matters but, this...is appalling,” Brody whined. Emma grabbed her a new sleeper and a clean pair of socks, within minutes she was cleaned and changed, “All better,” Emma kissed her nose. “Thank you, I’m sorry I woke her, where were you?” “Well I fell asleep in here, you woke me,” Emma forced a small smile. “And Lexington...I’m sorry,” Brody said uncomfortably. “Brody she would have woke up on her own if she had to poop,” Emma explained. “Alright, I can try to get her to sleep,” he took her. “I’m going to lie back down over here, just in case you need me okay?” “Thank you, umm are you planning on sleeping in here?” Brody asked looking away. “This is where I’ve slept since she was born,” Emma yawned. “I guess its habit.” “Well do you think it’s one you plan to break anytime soon?” He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I think I only slept in here because I couldn’t sleep in there,” Emma whispered. “Alright, how long does it take for her to fall asleep?” He asked as she tried to stick her fingers in his mouth. “Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours. I can take her if you’re tired,” Emma said and reached for her. Emma lay on the bed and held her on her chest, Lexi mouthed her chin. “Her teeth bothering her?” He asked. Emma smiled and nodded her head, “Okay you’re going to get some medicine. Will you take her for a minute?” *** Emma gave her infant Tylenol and she was asleep within minutes. She lay her down and looked at Brody and took a deep breath. Emma closed the door and followed Brody into their room, she went into the bathroom and showered, brushed her teeth and flossed. She threw on an old t- shirt and walked out. Brody walked past her, “Excuse me.” She heard the shower start and laid down and fell asleep, “Hey Emma,” he said peeking his head out of the bathroom. “Is everything alright?” she asked. “Well I, can you tell me where to find a razor?” Emma got up, walked into the bathroom, and grabbed him one, “Here.” “Thank you, how about scissors?” He asked. She handed him the scissors. “Can you help me get the back if I do the front?” Emma had started to like Brody’s longer hair, the way he pulled it back, or the way it was when he came home, he had a black knit cap on that night and a wool pea coat. The way it tickled her face and the way she was able to hold it in her hands when he was… “Cut your hair?” Emma whispered. “Yes, I used to do it all the time and London was right,” he said combing his hair straight up and cutting three inches off. “Brody,” she gasped.
“You look terrified,” he laughed. “Well you have great hair and you’re just chopping it,” Emma said nervously. He laughed and continued. He combed it and shook his head and handed her the comb. “I don’t think I should.” “Love you’re not going to let me walk around with a mullet are you?” he laughed. “What if I screw it up?” “Then we’ll fix it, it’s quite easy.” Emma listened to his instructions and did as he asked. “It’s short Brody.” He fixed the front a little and she towel dried his hair. “Looks good, thanks,” Brody smiled. Emma grabbed cleaning wipes and cleaned up the hair as he brushed his teeth. They climbed into bed, “Would you like to watch television Em?” “No thank you. I’m really tired, but you can.” Emma fluffed her pillow. Brody was watching the news when his story came across, “Hey that’s us, in pajamas.” He chuckled in his husky tone. Emma sat up and watched as the pictures flipped through, “They look beautiful,” Emma smiled. “All three of you look amazing.” Emma smiled, “As do you.” “Thank you but…Emma do you still want to talk?” Brody looked at her sadly. “I don’t think so, I want to put this whole day to bed,” Emma smiled hoping to ease his angst. “Ok, but can we please just get it over soon?” He looked down. “If you want to now we can, you look sad,” Emma touched his face. He let out a breath and pushed his face hard against her hand, “I feel sick to my stomach. Let me just do this now.” Emma sat up and faced him, “Could you turn around?” He asked. “Why?” “I don’t want to see disappointment, disgust or anger, it hurts me to make you feel those things. Fuck this sucks. You have to know I didn’t expect this, I would have never left you Emma, not ever,” Brody said through clenched teeth. Emma turned around and took his face, “And you have to know, I believe you when you say that, I lost you because you didn’t trust me enough to talk about what was going on, and that crushes me.” Emma hugged him and clung tightly to his neck, “I was fourteen and playing music, you know that. I always looked older because I was tall. My band and I got into bars and were known. We started dabbling in drugs, mostly hash and pot, something to bring us down and not feel. I remember going to this one place and we thought it was a strip club. We sat and drank and were already high as kites. Well people started to fuck right there. Some wore collars with little locks. A closed lock signified that they were in a relationship and an open one meant they were available. We caught on quick and bought ourselves collars. We went to the club a lot. One day a girl blonde hair with green eyes was there, her lock was open, I knew she was older. She carried herself the way that the Dom’s or a Dominant did. Chin up and confident, in control. That was hot to me. I was young, without a parent, horny as hell, and I was seeking that. I watched and learned how the Subs or Submissive acted. They stayed with their Dom’s and waited for their attention. When they received it, they were so happy and pampered and well- fucked.” “So I was high, she was there, I must have followed her around like a lost puppy. She took me back to her huge apartment and took control. She had a small tattoo of a whip on her lower back. The next night I went back a little more assertive, not waiting for her attention I just grabbed her hand and she slapped me and told me to sit. I did, when she was ready to leave she told me to follow her. She took me back to the same place and tied me up and whipped me and then pleasured me: whipped and pleasured me again. She
bought me clothes and fed me well for two weeks. The last night I saw her I walked into the club, there was a man there and her head was hung and she followed him around. When I tried to talk to her, she ignored me. I sat and stared at her when he noticed, he took her arm and dragged her out the door. That was the last time I saw her. Another guy there told us of another club and I walked in head held high. I didn’t like being whipped. I fucked a lot of subs, all older. All had money and wanted to please me. When I wasn’t on drugs I had no interest in this. You still awake Em?” She nodded her head yes. “Any questions?” “Was that woman my sister?” Emma asked her head still buried in his shoulder. “Yes it was sorry” he answered, “Do you want to stop for a while?” She shook her head no. “When I went to London, I called my sister and her and Ariel showed up at the bar in the photo online, the bartender had the same tattoo, but on her neck. I remembered that woman who beat my ass. On Christmas your dad gave you the album, and I saw a picture of what she would look like and when you showed me the album, I thought she looked familiar. The same album was at the cottage, I had some dreams. I woke and looked at it. Your dad noticed my reaction. I blew it off and then started having more dreams, I couldn’t ignore it, I had to know. And I wanted to give you the happiness you deserve.” “I eventually talked to your father. He told me you buried an empty casket. He and I made plans and well you know what came of that. So I went into the bar and invited an old friend that I know is still into that scene: the drugs and the BSDM scene. I asked him if he remembered her and he smiled. He got me in. All of that Em was from your father, Clive, and James, I don’t remember any of it.” “What I do remember is waking up in a dark room. Waking up to being beat and injected. A woman who was there to give me the injection and I remember it was Elizabeth, not as your sister but as my Domme. I remember being threatened and waking up to women sucking me off. I remember getting out and another bad crack to the skull. I think she was helping me escape. I was tied and starved and fucked and drugged and another attempt at escape and I was stabbed. I guess my shirt was found two hours away by the river. At one point another woman Domme told me if I submitted, I would stop being beaten and could shower. I did drugs and ate and worked out and was a sub for a long time. I remember dreams of you, I remember waking and screaming your name which always resulted in being beat. But I had no idea who you were. It was dark so this ring tattoo wasn’t noticeable at all to me. I knew who I was, I knew what was going on, and I chose drugs and being a sub. I didn’t remember you Emma, only in dreams. I was able to work out with weights and they even asked if I wanted to leave, but being there I didn’t have to face the press or fans or anything. I was a mess. Then I was made a Dom, I wore something covering my face so I wouldn’t be recognized. When I was ready to go I was hooded and dropped in the middle of a field with an untraceable cell phone and I only remembered James’ phone number and he was there within an hour. He called Clive. And you were here raising our child and my dear step daughter and believing in me. Emma, are you awake?” “Of course I am,” she said shaking and holding him tighter. “Do you hate me Emma?” “No, never.” “Thank you,” Brody said, “May I kiss your head, your hair?” “Of course you can, Brody — I’m not mad at you,” Emma said and kissed his neck. “Okay...I’m very curious about what questions you may have going on in your extraordinary mind,” he kissed her head lightly and rubbed her back. Emma cleared her throat, “I have something everyone in the know should be wondering.” “Okay what is it?” Brody asked. “She’s been home for months knowing they thought you were dead and knowing where you were and she did nothing to help you, at the very least to let someone know you were alive,” Emma said and her
body stiffened. “Emma, she may have been scared,” Brody said soothingly, “Or she believed I was dead, the police seemed to have sufficient evidence that made everyone else believe I was.” “She hasn’t been scared for one moment since she’s been back, she’s been rude and nasty and tried to seduce my ex and then had my current husband soothing her and lashing out to hurt me as he defended his fucking ex- Domme,” Emma snapped. “And as far as the police convincing everyone, I wasn’t at all convinced. I knew you were alive. I only stopped trying to convince everyone else of that because I was afraid I would lose the girls. I always believed you were alive.” “Okay, maybe you need to blame someone else for what I’ve done to you,” Brody said and Emma immediately sat back and jumped up and walked across the bed and jumped down, walked to the bathroom and slammed the door. She washed her hands, brushed her teeth and walked out and grabbed her pillow and went to the door. Brody grabbed her, “Hold up, Em,” he said gently, “Don’t take off.” “Are you fucking kidding me?” Emma said in a hushed voice, “You dismissive pompous ass.” “Emma come on — don’t do this. I opened up to you, I trusted you enough to tell you everything, more than anyone knows, don’t walk away from me now,” his eyes were hurt. “And I trusted you enough to listen to me and you basically told me I was being ridiculous. I told you I wasn’t mad about all that, I actually hurt FOR you. But you so easily dismiss my feelings and what I’ve dealt with. Brody, when you held her today and she was playing the victim she smirked at me when she kissed your cheek. When I confronted her about Troy, she was rolling her eyes, and as she spoke as if she were hurting...that was an act for you. She told my little girl about sex rings and you being alive. SO you, Brody Hines — shove your head further up your ass and pretend that she’s a wounded little puppy and I’ll make sure her sick twisted ass doesn’t hurt my children or you. Have you even asked Rupert about the other day? Don’t answer that. I’m not some submissive little bitch to be dismissed. DAMN YOU! So stop treating me like that. Do you have any fucking idea what I’ve gone through,” Emma stepped towards him and he grabbed her hands, “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Clive burst through the door, “Em...Ma’am is everything alright?” “No…it’s...not...” Emma walked into the bathroom and sobbed. *** Brody looked at Clive and shook his head, “Look into Elizabeth, ask Rupert what happened. I’m going to go beg my wife’s forgiveness for acting like an ass. Oh and Clive, my door will be unlocked tonight, if you hear me acting like I did last night, please come in.” “Alright, anything else,” Clive asked. “No.” He walked to the bathroom door and knocked lightly and tried to open the door, “Em...please open the door.” “NO!” She snapped. “I’m sorry, please come out.” “Fuck you,” she snapped. Brody grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down a little note and shoved it under the door. He heard her pick it up and giggle. He smiled, “Please,” he said and sat down in front of the door. She didn’t answer. She shoved the paper back under the door and he took it. Emma, Do you love me? Yes Or
No Circle one Your Pompous ass and incredibly stupid husband, Brody
Emma had circled OR. “Can I get you your pillow?” He asked and banged his head on the wall. “No.” “Emma you don’t want to sleep in the bathroom, and just so you know I can pick this lock in about two seconds,” Brody laughed. “Do whatever you need to,” Emma yawned. Brody popped the lock and walked in, he had two pillows and the bed comforter. He climbed in the bathtub with her and lifted her head and placed her pillow under it and covered them up, “Good night my love, my life, my precious and beautiful amazing wife.” Emma tried to think of something to come back with but she was exhausted, “Good night asshole, I love you.” Brody laughed and kissed her neck and bit it lightly. Emma took a quick breath and he kissed her collarbone. She let out a sigh, reached up and pulled his hair gently towards her, while he wrapped his knee around hers and lifted himself above her and pressing his body against her, kissing her head and then her nose and back to her neck. He sat back on his heels pulling her up so that she straddled his lap and kissed her mouth, she opened her mouth and invited him in. She took his arms and wrapped them around her neck and gently put her hands in his hair and kissed him lifting herself on her knees so that she didn’t grind into him. When he moved his mouth down her neck she followed him and took his lips again. She wouldn’t let him do anything but kiss her. Nothing but this. His soft purrs made her kiss him deeper and when his grip tightened she pulled back slightly and kissed him again. He began to moan and his hips moved towards her and she pulled away but continued kissing him. She could tell he was uncomfortable and pulled back from his kiss him, hugged him and held him at a halt against her. She kissed his jaw bone to his neck as he let out soft whimpers that called her body and made her ache for him. She sat back on his knees and pressed her forehead against his chest as he kissed the back of her head, she finally caught her breath and sat up and hugged him. “I love you.” “I love you,” he breathed out against her neck. She stood up and grabbed her pillow and took his hand and pulled him up. She grabbed the blanket and he followed her to bed. He pulled his shirt over his head with one hand without letting go of hers and they got into bed and covered up and fell asleep looking into each other’s eyes, with their foreheads pressed together holding his hand tightly against her heart. Emma woke when he began to thrash, “Brody,” she whispered and touched his face. “No, stop, please stop. Don’t, don’t touch me,” he mumbled, “Don’t fucking touch me, no damn it...NO!” He yelled and Clive ran in. He grabbed Brody and shook him and Brody head butted him, “Take your FUCKING hands off me!” “Wake up Hines, before I kick your ass!” Clive growled. “If you fucking lay a hand on her, I will kill you...Emma!” He yelled. “Brody, please wake up,” Emma cried and turned on the light. “Fuck,” Brody said as his eyes reacted to the light and he pushed his palm into his forehead. “You awake?” Clive said still holding his arms. “Yeah, sorry man,” Brody finally looked at him. “Mrs. Hines are you all set?” Clive asked. “Yes, thank you,” Emma said quietly looking at him. She climbed in bed and pulled Brody’s head to her chest and lay down, “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep. *** Emma woke to light kisses and she smiled and stretched, “My favorite way to wake up.” “Mine too,” Brody hugged her, “Hey I was wondering, is this two week thing a rule? Or does it have to do with…do I disgust you Emma?” “No,” she laughed. “Well no to which part?” “A and B,” she smiled. Lexington’s voice shouted through the monitor. Emma laughed. “I know this is to be continued but, do we have condoms?” Emma laughed, “Now what would I have those for?” “Good point, I may have been pissed if you whipped out a variety pack or something,” he smiled, “Okay so at naptime I want you. I’ll get some from one of the guys. Wow...that sounds so high school.” “Shame to waste this,” she grabbed him gently and slowly stroked him. “Oh God, Em,” he moaned and flopped back. “You need to come Brody,” she smiled and kissed his nose. “Please Em,” he moaned and kissed her. “More than happy to give you a hand anytime Brody,” Emma kissed down his belly and lightly kissed the tip of him and he looked down and gasped, “I miss this though,” she took him in her mouth. And he breathed out her name, “Emma…if we are waiting for test results that isn’t a good idea Em,” he moaned deeply. “Okay sorry, just tell me before,” she said and sucked hard from tip to trunk and he groaned loudly and sat up on his elbows and watched her fuck him with her mouth. She looked up at him and winked as she lightly pulled at his scrotum and he yelled out “Before, Em, for fuck sake! Before!” He grabbed her head and pulled her back and she finished him with her hand. “Oh Emma, God. Thank you.” “My pleasure,” she smiled and grabbed some tissues to clean up and then tossed them in the garbage, he followed her and grabbed her around the waist. “I need you more now than I did when I woke up, what the hell is up with that?” Brody asked reaching up her shirt. Emma laughed and grabbed her toothbrush, “It’s always been that way and trust me — it goes both ways, so you need to stop, our daughter’s awake and she’ll be waking up London soon enough, she’s very loud.” “I want to hear you be very loud,” he kissed her neck and squeezed her nipple. “Aw, Brody stop please, or I might...” Emma started. “Not be able to?” He laughed. Emma turned around and kissed him, “I love you.” *** Emma was busy making breakfast when London and Brody walked in the kitchen. They were dressed in church clothes. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Emma asked. “I do, London performs today,” Brody smiled, “I can’t wait to watch her.” “Okay then,” Emma said wiping her hands off on the dish towel, “Eat and I’ll get ready, come on Lexi…”
“I’ve got her,” Brody kissed Emma’s neck. “Do you know how sexy you look in that suit?” Emma kissed him and ran up the stairs. *** They entered through the back door and sat in the front pew, Pastor Page had set it up for them. London played and played perfectly. She ran and jumped into Brody’s arms when she finished. “Great job, love,” he kissed her cheek. They asked Brody to stand and gave thanks to God for his safe return and he smiled and waved. When he sat, he scowled and looked down. When the service ended Brody took her and pulled her into him and kissed her head, “Sorry,” he said and she looked up at him and wondered why. “That was a great job London,” Henry said and picked her up and hugged her. Caroline and Elizabeth stood behind him. “Hello Emma,” Caroline hugged her tightly. “Hi Mom,” Emma hugged her back. “I miss you,” Caroline’s eyes filled. “We’ll be fine...I miss you too,” Emma took her hand. Elizabeth walked up and hugged Emma and whispered in her ear, “How did I taste?” Emma gasped and stepped back, London gave her a questioning look and Brody continued to talk to Henry with Lexi in his arms. “I wouldn’t know, some people believe in bathing,” Emma smiled and turned to Brody, “Are we ready?” “Sure, ready London?” He smiled politely at Caroline and Elizabeth and walked away. They got in the car, “Do you need anything at the store Emma?” “No thank you,” she said looking out the window. “Alright, I need a couple things, Clive’s going run in.” He said as he sent a text, “Em, does Clive have any money?” He laughed. “Yes, he still has a card.” “Wow Em do we have money? Did you collect life insurance, is the ex paid?” “Everything’s fine Brody,” she smiled, “We can go over all that today, okay?” “I love you,” Brody sat back frustrated. “I love you more,” Emma continued to gaze out the window. They ate lunch and watched a movie and the girls both fell asleep, “Got a minute?” she asked. He smiled his sexy, full teeth, panty drenching smile, “How about an hour?” Emma took a deep breath and tried not to grin, “Can we talk money first?” Brody shook his head no and grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. “I’m nervous,” Emma whispered. He kissed her from ear to collarbone gently and stepped back, “We’ll go as slow as you need, and Em,” he smiled, “My mouth has explored your body, and yours mine...I think we can figure this part out.” He turned her around and slowly unzipped her. “Oh Emma you’re beautiful,” he said as he pushed the sleeves half way down her arms and walked in front of her and pulled the top down exposing her bra. He lightly kissed her plump round mounds of flesh and she closed her eyes. “Look at me, Emma,” he whispered in her ears as he pulled her sleeves down and slipped her bra straps down her shoulders and quickly unclasped her bra, “Do you have any idea how much you turn me on Emma? Feel how hard you make me,” he took her hand and placed it on his pants and she moaned, “This is yours Emma, only yours,” he kissed her. She closed her eyes and felt tears building up behind her eyelids. As he sucked hard and expertly at her erect nipples, “Open your eyes Emma,” he said and pushed the rest of her dress to the ground. He looked up at her and tears fell down her face.
Brody looked panicked and grabbed the blanket off the end of the bed and wrapped her up and walked her to the bed. “What did I do Emma?” he asked running his hands through his hair, and loosening his tie. She closed her eyes again and let out a breath and more tears fell, “Nothing, you didn’t do anything. I’m sorry.” “It doesn’t seem like nothing, tell me what’s wrong please,” Brody asked wrapping his arms around her. “I want you to make love to me Brody. Please, I need you,” Emma cried as she unbuttoned his shirt and pants. “Are you quite sure Emma, we can wait,” Brody said uncomfortably. “No we can’t...please,” she said and touched his face gently. He let his pants drop to the ground and kissed her, he pulled the covers down and knelt on the bed. He took her breast in his mouth as his fingers slowly skimmed from her knees to her sex and she let out a breath. Her hand made its way down to him and he slowly moaned as she stroked him. He kissed down her belly and she pulled his hair gently towards her, “I need you, Brody.” “Let me get you ready, love,” he said continuing his movements inside her with his fingers, “I don’t want to hurt you,” he kissed her and started cascading kisses gently down her belly. “Brody please,” she moaned as his tongue entered her, “Damn it please,” she moaned and felt herself stiffen and she looked down as she held her breath. Brody was peering up at her through his exquisite long dark lashes and slowed down, his eyes heated more and his tongue danced with her clit and she felt her relief as she tossed her head back moaning his name. He sucked on her clit until her body convulsed and his fingers circled as she pulsed until finally she couldn’t move. He kissed up her body and grabbed the foiled package off the nightstand, she heard the tear and she sat up and looked at him skillfully applying the condom, “Is that…” she began. “Lambskin,” he breathed out as he kissed her deeply and then sat up, he thrust his finger into her and then licked them. Emma’s eyes widened when he spit in his hand and rubbed saliva up and down the condom. He looked up at her and smiled, “You are so fucking tight Em, and I want in so bad.” “Oh please Brody,” she begged as he pulled her towards him and held his cock and used it to circle her opening. He slowly fed it in her and his nostrils flared and jaw tightened as he flung his head back and licked his lips. “Em,” he looked back down at her, “this is so hot, watch with me.” Emma propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at them slowly connecting, “I need you to push, take the lead here. When you want more, let me know.” “I want more,” she said slowly circling her hips and pushing further onto him. She hooked her legs behind his back and pushed farther onto him and she looked up and his mouth was opened and he watched their bodies connecting and looked up at her. He thrust his thumb into her mouth, “Suck,” and she obeyed. He pulled his thumb out and used it to circle her clit, and she pushed farther onto him and stopped as she climaxed again. He pushed into her further and circled, stretching her so she could take him further, “You are so wet Em, so hot. Lay back,” he demanded and she obeyed. He followed her and slowly pushed into her until she whimpered. “Are you okay?” “Yes,” she moaned, “oh yes!” “I love you,” he pushed into her and she yelled out. “You okay Em?” “I love you,” she wrapped her arms around him as he slowly moved in and out and she dug into his back. He tensed up but began moving faster. “Oh, Oh God,” Emma moaned and bit into his shoulder. He pumped harder and faster and she met his thrusts with her hips until her body exploded into an eruption
that she was sure could be felt throughout the house, maybe even the universe. Brody kept moving hard and fast and she felt her body being called to orgasm again and she dug her fingers into his firm ass and he came loudly yelling her name. He lay on top of her, his heart beating fast and his hot breath against her head, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and rubbed up and down his back breathing him in, feeling him soften between her legs she wrapped them around him not wanting him to move, “I love you, don’t you ever leave me again,” she purred in his ear. Emma woke feeling him slowly lift off of her and the fullness between her legs was being taken from her. “Don’t, please just stay,” she tightened her grip. Brody kissed her head, “I would love to but we have slept for an hour. I’m afraid I may have squashed you.” “An hour?” She said and sat up and looked down as he pulled off the condom and tied it. “Yes, you tired me out,” he kissed her. She watched as he stood naked at the foot of the bed. “You’re so perfect,” she whispered. He looked up and smiled, “Our little ones will be up soon Mrs. Hines, come now,” he said pulling her up, “Act two after dinner?” He asked cocking his head to the side. “Yes please, and three and…” Emma laughed. “Promise?” He asked nervously. Emma threw on a pair of sweats and tossed him some as well. “Your father invited us to dinner and I thought you would be more comfortable doing it here so I offered. I hope you’re not upset with me, please don’t be,” he said as if he may burst. She looked up at him and scowled and walked past him into the bathroom. “Emma love, don’t be mad,” he tried to grab her and she pulled away. Emma tossed him an angry look and threw on a long sleeve tee shirt and brushed past him out the door and went down to the kitchen. Rupert walked into the kitchen and saw Emma slamming cupboards and banging pots and pans, “Miss London’s still on the couch asleep ma’am, is there anything else?” “Yes lots... are you staying on?” Emma turned and looked at him, her face filled with rage. “If you want, yes,” he answered. “Can you call me Emma?” She asked. Rupert looked confused and then all emotion left, “No.” Emma laughed, “Fine, I want you to stay on. You will answer to me, not Brody. If he gets pissed at me because of it and leaves don’t worry, his child support will more than pay your salary. I want you to know my sister is a fucking nut job who wants my husband and hates me. I fear for my children’s safety and I don’t give a shit who thinks I’m crazy...I’m not! I want security cameras everywhere and little bugs so I can track my children in their fucking clothes. Do you have a gun?” He nodded his head yes, “Good, I want to learn how to shoot.” “Ma’am that’s…” he began. “If you won’t teach me someone else will.” Emma said and turned around, “Do we pay you enough?” “Yes ma’am” Rupert answered. “Good. We can go over my schedule sometime soon. I’m making dinner for my family, parents and her. I would like you here,” Emma said as authoritatively as she could. Clive walked in, “Rupert, I thought I told you that you could leave man...go enjoy.” Emma turned to him, “He has a new boss, me.” Brody laughed as he walked in, “Feisty little thing isn’t she?” He kissed her neck, “Lexington needs a bottle, where are they and why won’t you give poor Rupert the day off?” “He’s staying on full time. And he is MY employee,” Emma said glaring at him.
“Do we fight after sex a lot?” Brody asked cocking his head to the side. Emma turned and gasped. “What’s wrong love? Clive bought the condoms and Rupert watched London, what do you think they thought was going on? So anyway, do we? I mean you sounded like you enjoyed yourself and you tasted…” “Enough Brody!” She yelled. He looked at her smugly and raised his eyebrow, “Enough what, love?” Emma grabbed a bottle and slammed the cupboards loudly, “There’s chicken parm in the oven all beaten up and abused, twice baked potatoes, they have to be cooked again you know— used up, OLD fucking potatoes. Hey — as a vegetable...maybe we should do zucchini! Then you’ll have a place to put the rest of those condoms because you’re certainly not going to need them with me and your fuck buddy apparently doesn’t use them or I WOULDN’T HAVE TO!” Emma yelled, took a deep breath and smiled, “Come on Lexi, Mommy will take care of you.” Brody laughed as she took Lexi and Emma glared at him as she walked by. Brody went into the living room and London was just waking up, “Did I hear Mom yell?” “Yes,” Brody laughed, “Do we fight a lot?” “No, but I think Mom’s in a bad mood today,” London said stretching and pulling the blanket up to her face. “Why would you say that?” “Well, I think she bit Aunt Elizabeth at church.” “WHAT?” Brody gasped. “Yep, I heard Aunt Elizabeth say ‘how did I taste?’ In her ear...and well, mom’s been kind of sad looking since,” London said, “But maybe Mom’s right, Aunt Elizabeth might be crazy, she acts different around everyone else than when it’s Mom and us. I don’t think Mom would bite her, do you?” “Of course not, that’s preposterous! Just stay away from her okay? Unless I’m around, please,” Brody asked trying to keep calm. “That’s what Mom says, her or Rupert,” London smiled. “You like him London?” “Yeah! He’s fun — well funny. Mom and I play a game sometimes to see if we can get him to talk or smile,” London laughed, “It doesn’t happen very often.” *** “Emma, will you come in here please?” Brody yelled over his shoulder. London played with Lexi in the living room and Emma came into the kitchen. Walking towards him, when she got close enough he picked her up around the waist and set her on the counter, looking in her eyes he told her, “The dining tables set, the used up old potatoes are finishing and your chicken looks smashing. I chose broccoli instead of zucchini based on an earlier conversation about rounds two, three, and four. My childlike behavior earlier resembled that of a dog marking its territory, however I chose not to piss up your beautiful leg instead, I made it known you are mine. That steaming from my wife, MY wife — hiring a man I don’t know well enough to protect her and our children...but you trust him with FAR more than you trust me with. London and I had an interesting conversation while you were pouting upstairs, which by the way — I wish I could have witnessed, your bottom lip sticking out because that’s also mine to have,” he said tracing it with his finger, “London told me she overheard Elizabeth making a very insulting comment to you at church. I believe you, I believe in you. I won’t doubt your judgment again. I apologize for agreeing to this dinner. You’ll have to trust me this evening to put that bitch in her place. I do, however, believe treading lightly is the way to go. Emma let me handle this please, I beg you. I asked Clive to look into some things concerning her last night after you told me how she had treated you and what you thought she was doing. I love you. Trust me, please. Keep Rupert, better safe than sorry but
don’t hide things from me love,” he kissed her and lifted her on the counter, “I’m yours and you are mine always Emma,” Brody finished and took a deep breath and hugged her tightly. “I love you, and if we didn’t have GUESTS coming, I would have you coming,” Emma kissed him. He tugged at her lower lip, “Mine.” “Always.” They were lost in their kiss when Henry cleared his throat. Brody pulled back and held her face in his hands, “And forever.” He pulled her off the counter and she slid down his body to the ground. He held her tightly against him and kissed her head. “Dinner will be done shortly — come have a seat in the living room, your children are playing like the little angels they are,” Brody smiled. He spun Emma around and they walked arm in arm into the living room. ***
CHAPTER FOUR They sat quietly at the dinner table as Emma and Brody brought out the food. The chairs at the ends of the table were the only ones left, Brody smiled at Emma as she scowled at the ground. He walked her to her seat and kissed her hand. Emma pouted and looked down until she heard a loud screeching sound. She looked up and Brody walked to the other end of the table and purposely dragged the chair across the floor leaving the spot next to Elizabeth unfilled. London laughed, “Are your arms broke, Brody?” “Nope. Just want to be next to your Mom,” he smiled and sat next to her. “Why not just have her sit on your lap? That’s where she usually is anyway,” London smiled. “Well, we have guests.” “Dinner is wonderful,” Caroline said politely. “It is, Emma’s a great cook,” Brody scooped up some potatoes and fed them to Emma, “Used up old potato’s love,” he whispered and she laughed. “What’s so funny?” London asked. “Brody,” Emma smirked. “So you two seem to be doing well,” Henry said taking a drink, “Are your memories coming back?” “They are,” Brody winked at Emma. “What did you first remember?” Caroline asked. “Hmm, her in bed,” Brody said and Emma choked, “Easy love,” he said patting her back, “The night I went to Lila’s when she was sick, I remembered the IV.” “Oh, did you remember the cancer?” Caroline asked. “No just the IV and her telling me not to leave her ever again, and being angry that man was there, Mark,” Brody took a bite and chewed, “Then I remembered her always asking what time it was and I used to call her the little white rabbit. But when I spoke to her on the phone the night before I came home, I knew there was something. I got loaded because I was nervous and then Lila scolded me and I came here and saw her and knew there was way more than just something. By the end of the night, I knew I loved her. Things come back all the time, like London — I knew I loved her immediately, the apartment, lots of memories. It’s all working out as it should.” *** Emma cleared the table and made a bottle for Lexi, she walked in the living room and sat next to Brody, he put his leg behind her and pulled her back to his chest and looked over her shoulder and smiled at Lexi, “Dada, dada,” she smiled and babbled as formula poured out of the sides of her mouth. He grabbed the burp cloth and quickly cleaned it up. “You have some effect on women...huh, Brody?” Elizabeth smiled. “My daughter adores me, and I thank Em for that. Apparently they watched lots of videos so she would know me,” he rubbed Emma’s back and smiled. “That’s nice, Emma,” Elizabeth smiled. “Thank you,” Emma said as she burped Lexi. London took Caroline and Henry upstairs so they could read to her. Lexi lay asleep on Emma’s chest. “She asleep?” Brody asked. “Yep I’ll go take her to …” Emma said and looked at Elizabeth. “Bed,” Brody smiled, Emma looked at him and looked panicked, “Trust me,” he whispered and
nuzzled his nose in her hair. Emma walked in to lay Lexi down and she opened her eyes and started to cry, “Hey little one, now is so not the time…okay, okay, your teeth?” Emma put her fingers in her mouth and Lexi cried louder. “Okay okay let’s get you something for that,” Emma looked and saw the monitor and smiled, she grabbed it and she and Lexi headed back down the stairs. “Hey,” Brody yelled, thank God she thought. “Hey,” Emma walked into the living room and quietly placed the monitor on the sofa table behind him. “Teeth?” he asked smiling. “Yes, I’m just going to get her some pain reliever,” she kissed his head and walked out. Emma gave Lexi her meds. She walked by the living room and up the stairs, passed London’s room and into Lexi’s. She sat and rocked Lexi and turned the monitor on. “I have a question for you Elizabeth, did you ask my wife how you tasted at church today?” Brody asked in a low tone. “What, of course not, why did she tell you that? She hates me Brody, she made that up because she was jealous about you taking care of me when she flipped on me. She can’t handle people like us,” Elizabeth said in a whisper. “Well honestly she didn’t say a word, my eight year old step daughter, your niece, told me. So again, I’m asking you did you say it.” He asked in a more forceful tone. “Maybe I did, what does it matter?” Elizabeth snapped, “You seem to be forgetting your place.” Brody laughed, “No I know my place, its here with my wife and our children. My job, the only one that matters, is to keep them safe and happy. You’re not making that all that easy.” “It’s because of our history, you miss being told what to do Brody, by me. You are to be submissive to me and if not I will punish you by whatever means necessary,” Elizabeth said calmly. “Elizabeth, I get part of what you’ve lived through and can’t bring myself to imagine the rest. But it’s your choice to change. You have a family who loves you. A new beginning and you could be whoever the hell you want to be. Come on, we all put our asses on the line for you,” Brody pleaded. “And that’s why I know you need me, you want me,” Elizabeth said in a seductive tone. “For God sake Elizabeth she’s your sister! What the fuck are you trying to pull?” “She’s no more my sister then they’re my parents, the only one I feel a connection to is Lexi, she’s part of you and you were mine, and will be again,” Elizabeth said with warning. “You need to get help Elizabeth, I’ll talk to Henry and figure something out. I’m Emma’s always. Lexi’s connected to you through her, she’s your blood. Those people love you and have grieved your loss for years, they want you in their lives. They want YOU in their lives,” Brody said sweetly. “Cut the shit Brody, it’s not who I am — or you for that matter,” Elizabeth laughed. “Sit your ass down now! You have one of two choices here, get some fucking help or stay the fuck away from my wife and children,” Brody snapped. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Elizabeth asked. “Your ass should be at my feet begging forgiveness right now, waiting and wanting punishment for your very inappropriate behavior.” “What you don’t understand is my ass is not fifteen years old anymore, I’m not a child!” Brody growled. “I’m very well aware of that, don’t you remember?” Elizabeth purred. Brody laughed, “Um no, I was drugged, I remember waking up and someone on their knees. I certainly wouldn’t call that willing or wanting.” “You’ll be begging before I let you touch me again,” she seethed. “Not going to happen, what’s wrong with you? Get help, Elizabeth,” Brody said pleading. There was no more conversation. Emma scrambled to her feet and set Lexi in her crib and ran down the stairs. She turned the corner and walked quickly to the living room, “Where’s Brody?”
“In the bathroom cleaning himself up,” she sneered. “Why is that?” Emma asked crossing her arms in front of her. “I got him a bit messy,” she smirked. “Why are you doing this to me?” Emma asked sincerely. “I haven’t done anything to you,” Elizabeth said looking away. “You’re my sister, who was gone for so many years, who’s lived through hell and I’ve loved you for all those years. I’ve watched our parents die inside and slowly heal because they had to, for me. You may think I’ve had it easy Elizabeth, but I’ve grieved your loss in some way or another for all those years. Please, I beg you, please stop doing this to yourself,” Emma wiped away tears that fell down her cheek. “You’re afraid of losing him to me.” “No Elizabeth — not at all. You don’t know him. God...you don’t even know yourself, how could you? Elizabeth I look at you and want to hold you and hug you and fix all of this for you. I look at your beautiful niece and wonder how the hell you survived all of that when you were younger than her. You have no idea how many times I dreamed of you coming home Elizabeth, and having a sister and parents who weren’t broken anymore. I want you in my life and you want to punish me and I don’t know why.” Emma began to cry. “Pull yourself together, Princess,” Elizabeth snickered. “No YOU, damn it! “ Emma cried, “Please!” Brody ran into the room and grabbed Emma and held her, “I think we’ve had enough for one night, Henry!” He yelled. Henry and Caroline walked into the living room and looked back and forth between their daughters, “We should leave,” Henry said. “Caroline. I’ll meet the two of you in the car.” “Emma, your mother and I went in to say good night to Lexington, she’s still asleep but I have no idea how she slept through all that. I’m sorry, I love you Emma,” Henry hugged her. “We have a lot of work to do, please know whatever you need, we’re still here. Don’t push us away. Goodnight Brody.” *** “Are you alright?” Brody asked softly. “Yes,” Emma hugged him. “How did they know?” Brody asked. “Does it really matter?” Emma said and buried her head in his chest. “Emma look at me,” Brody said lifting her chin. “No, I’m tired...can’t we just go to bed?” Emma asked pulling away. “Em, what’s going on?” Brody asked. “I’m not going to answer that. I’m tired and emotionally drained,” Emma turned to walk away. “Alright let’s go,” Brody kissed her head. “I’m going to get a drink, I’ll meet you up there,” Emma yawned. “Okay, I can wait if you wish,” Brody said looking at her searching to see if she was angry. “I’ll meet you up there okay?” Emma squeezed his hand. *** Emma crawled in bed and Brody walked out of the bathroom, “Talk to me Emma, you haven’t even asked what happened, I know you have questions.” “Can we talk tomorrow? I’m tired. I’m not angry with you Brody. I love you, we’re going to be fine,” Emma hugged him and laid down. “So will we be sleeping?” He asked.
“London has school tomorrow, we can play all day,” Emma said softly and rolled over and laid her head on his chest. “Oh, okay,” he said and softly rubbed her back and head. Emma smiled and kissed his chest, “I love you.” “I love you.” Emma looked up at him resting her chin on her hand, “Everything alright?” “Yes,” she whispered and put her head back down. He continued to rub her back and she looked up again, “You should probably lay still.” “Why?” Brody asked with a smile creeping across his face. “You know why,” Emma blushed and scowled at him. “Em, I know you’re tired but I know you want me,” he smiled, “So why are you denying both of us?” “It’s always epic.” “And that’s a bad thing?” Brody smirked. “Oh no, not at all — but I’m very tired,” Emma whined. “What are you asking Em?” He asked as his hands floated down her back and he stopped at the small of her back. “I want you, but I want you in like thirty minutes and not an hour.” “Forget it then,” he said trying to hide his amusement. “Brody you’re exhausting, maybe I could just finish with you once and not five or six times before you,” Emma asked as her hands lowered on his stomach. “Nope,” he said, his tone smug. “Fine, goodnight!” Emma turned over. Brody laughed out loud, he moved his body closer to her, “I’m ready, but my concern is I might hurt you.” He reached his hands around her waist and pushed his fingers under her panties. He lightly stoked her clit and she moaned and pushed into his hand as she rolled over on her back and slide her panties down. “I’m ready, and I want you inside me now,” Emma said as she rolled to her side. Brody smiled at her and kissed her head, “Wait here.” Brody walked out of the closet with handcuffs, “Brody, no way.” “Trust me Emma,” he smiled and sat on the bed. He handed her the key, and clasped one around his wrist, “You’ll need to do the other,” he said and held his wrist out. “I don’t need…” Emma started. “Yes you do, just don’t turn off the lights please,” he said, “Come on Em, it’s all in your control.” Emma smiled, “You’re sure?” “It’s your one chance, you better take it,” he said and thrust his hips towards her smiling. Emma slapped on the cuff and raised her eyebrow and smiled as she pulled his silk bottoms off. Brody put his restrained wrists behind his head and took a deep relaxed breath and watched her as she slowly kissed down his belly, she grabbed him and gently took him in her mouth, her tongue caressed the bulging veins of his hard erect penis and she drew her mouth back and flicked her tongue across his tip. He moaned and closed his eyes, “That feels so good, Em.” Emma moved faster and sucked hard using her hand to stroke him. Her breath became labored, as she moved up his stomach to his mouth, she kissed him as she held him in her hands and slowly rubbed against him as she moaned into his mouth. She sat up and slowly began to lower himself onto him, she stopped and circled with her hips gently pushing, she grimaced and he pulled back, she looked up and gave him a warning look. “Em, easy,” he said in a serene tone. She raised her eyebrow and looked at him and smiled insolently, she took a deep breath, “Emma don’t…” he said through clenched teeth and she slammed into him and yelled out in pain. Brody sat up and wrapped his cuffed arms around her as she clung to his body. “What
the fuck Emma, are you okay?” he said pushing her to her back as he pulled out slowly and she cringed. “Answer me!” Emma laughed, “I thought I was in charge here.” “Yeah, well you’re about to be dethroned...for acting fucking crazy!” Brody scolded and Emma laughed. “Could you please lay back down, I want you,” she said and he looked into her eyes that were dancing. “Pain Em, that does it for you?” Brody asked annoyed. “Not sure but I love the thought of what’s to come,” Emma looked up at him confused, “You’re mad at me?” “You just intentionally inflicted pain upon yourself,” Brody growled, “Take these things off, Em.” “I did not,” she pushed him back and straddled him, she was angry. “Emma enough. This was a bad idea,” Brody said closing his eyes and she pushed onto him again, “Emma enough!” Emma moved slowly up and down him and pain became pleasure Brody watched her as she moaned and moved, she was hot and wet and felt good. “Emma we need a condom,” Brody said through his teeth. “No.” “EMMA ENOUGH!” Clive burst through the door, “Everything…oh shit...sorry…” he said and turned around to walk out. “Clive there’s a pair of keys on the nightstand, Emma cover yourself,” Brody said glaring at her. Brody lifted his arms and Clive removed the cuffs and quickly left the room. Emma jumped up and ran to the bathroom and tripped over the blanket. Brody grabbed her, “Not so fast Emma.” “Don’t touch me,” she said with her jaw clenched. “You will listen and then do whatever you need, but you will listen to me,” Brody said insistently. “Take...your...hands...off me now!” Emma snapped. He held his hands in the air and looked as if he was remembering something. She took the opportunity to grab her shirt and throw it on, ran into the closet and pulled on pajama bottoms, and walked past him. “STOP!” he snapped and Emma jumped, “What you just did Emma, was to hurt yourself.” “No it wasn’t, is was because I wanted to get laid without all the other stuff,” she yelled. “It was because I was tired,” her body started to shake, “It was because you wanted to and I wanted to make you fucking happy because you…no because I…I’m done with this conversation and I’m sleeping in Lexington’s room tonight.” “I will — you stay here,” Brody said and walked past her. “No! You can’t — you might wake up and hurt her,” Emma screamed. Immediately she put her hands over her mouth and he turned around and cocked his head to the side, “I’m sorry.” He shook his head and looked sick to his stomach, “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said in a whisper and walked out the door. At two in the morning Emma woke to Lexington’s babbling. As she walked past the office she saw Brody on the computer. She walked by on her way back and he turned around hearing someone. “Do you need something?” He asked coldly. She held up the bottle and kept walking. She checked on London as she walked by. She was sleeping peacefully snuggled up with the stuffed rabbit Brody had won her at the county fair. She kissed her head, “I love you more.” Emma changed and fed Lexington and fell asleep. She woke again an hour later and put Lexington in her crib and went downstairs to bring the bottle down. Normally she would have waited until morning but she needed to see if he was still awake, to see if he would speak to her. He floored her tonight, and she
lashed out to hurt him. This was only his third night home and she was putting him through so much. It wasn’t what she dreamed about. It wasn’t the romantic notions she had dancing in her head when she thought daily about what it would be like to see him again. She stopped at the door, “Would you like a drink?” She asked and he turned around in his large leather chair. “Sure,” he said and ran his hands through his hair. Emma brought him a glass of water, “Is this okay?” “Yes thank you. Is Lexington alright?” “Yes she was just hungry, she’s asleep now.” “Are you going to bed, or do you have a few minutes?” Oh thank God, she thought. Emma let out a deep breath, “No...I’d like to talk.” “Good, let’s go over the finances. Did you get life insurance money?” “Yes but I returned the check.” “Why?” He asked looking at the computer. “Because you weren’t dead.” Emma looked at her hands on her lap. “Ariel, was she paid?” “Yes,” Emma reached over and clicked the mouse revealing scans of cancelled checks. “Clive, Lila, and Rupert?” Brody asked looking over the screen. “Do you think they would still be working if not?” “Clive would and Lila would,” Brody said in a matter of fact tone. “Yes,” she reached again and clicked on two files. “The properties?” “All paid with royalties, record sales went through the roof when they thought you were dead.” “Where does that leave us?” Brody asked and Emma looked at him wanting to say she was sorry. She took a deep breath and leaned across him again and stopped and turned her head towards him and kissed him, he slowly pulled away, “Sorry.” He didn’t respond, he just looked at her as if he was confused. Emma clicked on a file, “Here.” She sat back down as he looked over the files and compared them to a year ago. “How have you managed this?” “I don’t know, are you upset, did I do something wrong?” “No, there’s more there than a year ago, more than two years ago, do we have a lot of credit card debt?” “No, we’ve never used them, this account here, is a secured account debit card. That’s what Clive and Rupert use,” Emma sat back in her chair. “And what about your personal funds?” Brody asked still searching files. “My pay goes into this account and pays the household bills, utilities, food, groceries, doctors’ copay, and those kinds of things. Rupert’s pay will come out of that as well.” “Don’t you think that sort of thing should be done with my money? I mean if you don’t trust it enough to be combined, why are you leaving yourself so short?” “Brody you’ve been back for three days, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I’m sorry,” Emma stood up, “You know, I thought you would be pleased. Good night.” “I didn’t say I wasn’t,” he said in his cold tone. “Well I can’t tell. You’ve turned to stone, unemotional and very cold. I’m tired, goodnight,” Emma walked upstairs and climbed in their bed, she hugged his pillow and fell asleep. *** She woke up and stretched and looked beside her, she had hoped he had come to bed and he hadn’t.
She pulled her knees to her chest and cried; rocked herself back and forth slowly. She laid across the bed and grabbed her journal out of the nightstand drawer and read the last entry and cried some more. She threw herself back on the pillow and kicked the bed several times. Emma rolled over and tried to fall back to sleep and jumped when she saw him sitting in the chair staring at her. “Can we chat?” Emma dried her eyes and sat up and whispered, “Yes.” “I think we’re doing this wrong. I think I should have stayed away and slowly worked our way back. I’m hurting you and you’re killing me Emma. I know neither of us wants to do that and maybe if we take a step back we can figure this out,” Brody said in that unattached tone that ripped her apart. Emma finally stood up and started towards the bathroom and stopped, “If you leave me again…don’t come back.” Brody burst through the door, “What is that supposed to mean, leave you again Emma?” “Nothing, do whatever it is that you want to do Brody, I need to shower and get ready for my day,” Emma said calmly. “That’s our discussion? That’s it?!” “Right now I need to figure out where I’m going and what I’m going to tell London,” Emma said calmly. “I think this discussion needs both of our input don’t you?” Brody asked coldly. “No, I don’t. But I need you to let me get ready,” Emma swallowed back the pending tears and looked at him, “Please, just leave.” “You can get ready, when she’s at school we’re continue this Emma,” Brody walked out. Emma came downstairs with London and Lexington, they walked by the study and London peeked in, “Good morning, Brody.” “Hey London, good morning,” Brody smiled and stood up, “Can I help with anything?” “Want to ride with us to take me to school?” London beamed. “He’s busy this morning, let’s get you two breakfast,” Emma tickled London. Emma and Lexington got out of the car and she went into the garage and grabbed the stroller, “Rupert I need to run, are you coming or am I off the leash now?” “I’d like to go,” he said, “Give me two minutes.” *** Emma walked into the house after her run and Brody glared at her. “Where have you been for two hours?” Emma looked down at her clothes and laughed, “At a club having drinks.” “You can’t answer your phone?” he snapped. Emma grabbed it off the counter and threw it to him, “Sorry. Come on Lexi, let’s get you a drink.” Emma was feeding Lexington in the nursery when Brody walked in and sat on the bed tapping his foot. “I’m not trying to be rude but that isn’t going to help her fall asleep,” Emma said with a forced smile. He stood up and kissed Lexington’s head and walked out the door. Emma walked out with the empty bottle and he was standing in the hallway against the wall. “Can we talk now?” He asked annoyed. “May I shower first?” Emma asked walking by. He followed her into their room. “No, this needs to be done,” he snapped. “You’ve made that clear, what do we need to discuss?” Emma asked grabbing clean clothes from her closet. “Emma come on talk to me about this,” he rolled his eyes. “Okay.” She sat down on the bed, “talk.”
“Do you understand why I think we should step back?” “No,” Emma answered. “Why not?” He asked and sat next to her. “We’ve been apart for a long time. If we don’t want to be together, no let me rephrase that — if YOU need a break after three days, it will never work. I won’t prolong the inevitable and spend any more time feeling like I’ve gone crazy. I have two beautiful little girls and I will be strong for them. I won’t spend any more time believing in something that isn’t real,” Emma answered and looked at him. “So we aren’t real?” Emma took a deep breath and started to shake. “Listen — don’t mind fuck me anymore, it’s…not nice!” She snapped. “That’s not what I’m asking for Emma. I’m asking that we take the time to make this work,” Brody took her hand. Emma slowly pulled her hand back, “Take all the time you need. Make all the decisions you need to, but I won’t show my daughters how to be a revolving door.” “It won’t be like that Em. Please — why don’t you see that?” “I’m done with this conversation right now, I need time to figure out my next move. If you’ll excuse me,” Emma pointed to the door, “Please.” “If that’s what you want, you should have let me stay away…” Brody said. “God, what do you want from me?” Emma yelled, “Do you really hate me that much, tell me what I did damn it, what did I do to make you hate me?” “I don’t hate you, I…” he began. “Don’t. Don’t you lie to me anymore. This thing you’re doing is hateful, you’re …you need to give me a few moments. I won’t give you the satisfaction of seeing me fall apart. Then you can tell me exactly what you expect, then I’ll rework and resume my life, but right now, I need you to think about the fact that once a long, long time ago you loved me, and that man would have given me a moment,” Emma turned around. “I love you, we can talk when you’re ready,” he grabbed her hand, “I’m still that man and I will never stop loving you.” Emma raised her hand and slapped him across the face, “Get out — now!” Brody turned and walked out the door. Emma had been upstairs for an hour when Brody finally found her in their room, she was packing her clothes. “What are you doing?” he asked and grabbed her. “Don’t touch me,” Emma said quietly. “You’re not going anywhere. I will. Damn it Emma — can you stop?” Emma started to shake, “What did they do to you, you would have never…Brody you are trying to break me. I don’t know why but you are. Please stop, you can’t do this to me. I need to leave, I can’t stay here, how do you not get that? I lived here waiting, praying, and believing you would come back and everything would be alright. I loved you enough to feel that you were still alive and whatever they did to you changed you and…” “Em stop, please,” he grabbed her and hugged her as she cried. Lexi started to cry and Emma looked up at him, “I don’t know how much more I can take before I break and am no good for them, how does that fit in with our break, Brody?” “You’re strong for them, be strong for you, I know you can do this Emma or I wouldn’t ask you. You love me, you believed, you felt, you knew I was alive. I was held up detoxing for two weeks and didn’t remember anything except your name. The minute I sobered up and saw you, I remembered you and hadn’t in months. This is nothing compared to all that Em, nothing,” he grabbed her face, “London doesn’t need
to know anything except that I’m going to stay in the city, Lila’s place is...” “Lila knows about this?” “Yes Em,” he stroked her hair. “So you’ve taken everyone from me now,” Emma sat silently. “No that’s not what I’m doing, you know I wouldn’t do that Emma,” he waited for a response and she sat quietly for. “I’m going to get my daughter,” Emma stood and walked out and got Lexington out of bed, held her tightly against her chest, and closed her eyes trying to regain some composure. She kissed her face and laid her down to change her and kissed her face again. Emma was making a bottle when Brody walked in, “We need to finish this, Em.” “You need to leave me alone,” Emma walked by him. She sat in the living room rocking and feeding Lexi, “Let’s finish this up, London doesn’t need to know. I have interviews everyday starting tomorrow, I’ll stay at Lila’s and stop over for dinner every night. It’ll be no big deal, okay?” “Would you do me a favor?” Emma asked standing up. “Anything Emma, anything,” he closed his eyes tightly and finally breathed. “Feed your daughter,” Emma handed her to him. “Sure,” he looked curiously at her. “You know she eats every three to four hours right? And after three ounces you need to burp her with each bottle. She’s already pooped today, and she will again tonight. Her tooth has poked through and she’s sleeping better. Her naps are normally eight in the morning and again at noon. She normally sleeps from one and a half to three hours for each nap. She only cries when she’s hungry or messy. She loves music, dancing, videos, and books. Her favorite is Guess How Much I Love You, and all Sandra Boynton books. She looks just like her Daddy and is such a good happy girl who deserves a perfect life,” Emma kissed her head and walked into the kitchen and rummaged through the drawer. Brody burped Lexi and laughed at how loud she was, he heard tires squeal and looked out the window at Emma driving out the driveway, he set Lexi in the pack n play and ran out, “Where the fuck is she going, Clive?” He yelled. Rupert jumped in the car and chased after her. *** Emma pulled in the driveway four hours later and Brody stormed out the door, “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!” He screamed. “That’s none of your business,” Emma attempted to walk past him and he grabbed her and without thinking she kneed him in the groin and he doubled over. She quickly moved past him and ran into the house past Rupert. “Is she asleep?” Emma asked with wide nervous eyes, he nodded his head yes, she heard the door slam. “Sorry Rupert,” Emma ran out the back door onto the patio and sat down. Brody walked out and grabbed her face firmly, “Do you know how fucking stupid that was?” “Did you have a nice time with your daughter?” Emma asked pulling her head back away from him. “It would have been if her mother didn’t flake out and run away from her responsibility,” he yelled and punched the table. “I’m so sorry, but you can understand skating responsibility, don’t you?” “Sit the fuck down now,” Brody snapped. “Unless you enjoyed the knee to the nuts Brody, you may want to move,” Emma stood nose to nose with him. “SIT!” He yelled.
“Fuck…” Emma started and he kissed her. Emma pulled away, “That’s enough!” “Do you know what you did to me today?” He asked pulling her into him and squeezing her so tight she couldn’t move. “I do, now let go,” Emma said shaking. “I won’t,” he snapped. “You already did, it should be getting pretty easy for you,” Emma snapped. “This is not a game Emma, this is our lives — don’t you get it?!” “No, why don’t you try to explain?” Emma yelled. “If we can’t spend three days together without all this, how will we make forever?” He asked his voice cool and distant again. “Brody I thought a lot today and I want you to know a few things. I went from a very overprotective shattered family, to a college boyfriend, to a husband, to being a mom, to a divorce, to you. I never really had the opportunity to have those rebellious years most people get a chance to experience. I was hurt by my ex- husband, crushed by my parents’ betrayal, and then there’s you. I’m very ready for you to walk. You don’t need to worry about London. You’re right; I am very strong. I’m also very ready to be single and in control.” Brody gasped and looked at her like she had grown horns and stepped back, closed his eyes and opened them again, “Fine.” “Perfect,” Emma waved her hand at him dismissively. Clive walked out towards them, “Your band mates just landed, they are coming to stay with you, a surprise.” “That’s just fucking great!” Brody looked at Emma, “Hey love, we have company coming to stay, looks like I won’t be leaving tonight!” “I can.” “No you’re not, you’re going to be right here with me, smiling pretty,” Brody said through his teeth. Emma laughed, as she walked in the door. *** Emma was making dinner as London did her homework when someone grabbed her around the waist and kissed her head, “Hello, Beautiful.” “Joe!” London screamed. Emma turned around and smiled, “Well hello there, Joe.” Emma looked around and smiled at Quinn, Oliver, and another man she didn’t recognized. “This is Zachary,” Joe said introducing Emma to him. Zach Taylor had replaced Brody for the last few tour dates with the band. He was tall with black messy hair and green eyes, “Nice to finally meet you, Emma,” Zach kissed her hand. “Very nice to meet you Zach,” Emma smiled and quickly looked away when she heard Brody walk in. “Well hello everyone,” Brody smiled as he walked up and wrapped his arm around Emma and kissed her cheek. Emma looked at him and whispered in his ear, “Please don’t use me to put on a show for your friends. This doesn’t make things easier.” Brody kissed her nose, “It’s not a show, Em.” Emma heard Lexington over the monitor and pulled away, “Dinner will be done in a few minutes,” she said as she walked out the door. “Everything alright Brody?” Joe asked. “It’s getting there,” Brody smiled, “Who wants a drink?”
*** Emma was giving Lexington a bath when Brody walked into the bathroom, “Will you come join us when you are done?” Emma looked up at him confused and grabbed the towel wrapping Lexington up, “I’m going to dress her and I’ll come down to feed her.” “Em, I…” Brody started and stopped. “Are you drunk?” “No, buzzed but not drunk,” Brody looked down. “Nice,” Emma walked past him. He followed her in the nursery, “London’s asleep, Em. I don’t make it a habit of drinking...could you give me a break?” He grabbed her hair and pushed it to the side and kissed her neck. “Look I don’t know what you’re trying to prove here, I’m playing nice but you can’t do that, please stop.” Emma said lifting Lexington off the changing table and walked towards the door. “I love you Em,” Brody pulled her into him and kissed her. “Brody don’t,” Emma whispered. “You’re mine Em, always,” Brody laughed, “Look it even says it here,” he held up his hand. Emma looked at him and scowled. *** Brody was sitting on the chaise when Emma walked in with Lexi. “Sit with me,” he said and moved back. Emma took a deep breath and smiled at the guys. She reluctantly sat down and he pulled her back closely against his chest. Lexi was babbling as Brody played peek- a- boo from behind Emma’s back. The guys talked about upcoming events and record sales. They had decided the next Album would be titled Back from the Dead. Brody announced plans to make the basement into a studio instead of working in England, “See Em, not leaving you, ever,” he whispered in her ear. She looked up at him confused and he pulled her back into his chest and wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled into her neck, “My second favorite place to be.” “I’m going to put her down,” Emma looked at him hurt. “We’ll be back, make yourselves at home,” Brody said following her up the stairs. Emma laid Lexi down and they both kissed her goodnight. Emma folded some laundry and put it away, trying to avoid him. It worked because he left the room and didn’t return. Emma stood and watched Lexington sleep and hugged herself. She was so confused, but didn’t want to think about it. She walked down the hallway and past their room, “Em, I need a moment,” Brody said from the room. Emma took a deep breath and walked in their room, she looked at him and his eyes were red and filled with tears. “You need to trust me that I don’t want to be away from you for even a minute. I love you with every part of me,” he took a breath and pulled her into his arms and began to take deep breaths fighting back pending tears. Emma looked up at him, “I love you...please just stop this,” Brody kissed her and she melted into his arms, his tongue entered her mouth and she met his with hers. He pulled back and pressed his forehead into hers, “I need you now, Emma,” she closed her eyes and he lifted her pulling her legs around him. He set her on the bed and pulled her dress up over her head and kissed her mouth and moved down to her breast, Emma groaned and he slowly laid her down. He kissed down her belly and lifted her knees so that her feet rested on the bed and he knelt on the floor before her. He lightly kissed her from her thighs to her sex, and then traced the imaginary line with his tongue. Emma gasped as he stroked his tongue from
her opening to her clit. He circled her with his tongue and plunged deeper into her. Emma held her breath as he slowly inserted a finger as he sucked in her clit making it throb almost painfully, “Emma, let go Love,” he reached up and squeezed her breast gently with his hands and lightly pulled at her nipple. He inserted another finger and she gasped, “So tight Em, please I need to taste you,” he said and pulled lightly with his lips at her clit, “Mmm, you taste so good, come on Em give it up,” his tongue moved into her. His thumb skillfully circled her clit and she felt the burn lower in her belly and she tried to pull away, his tongue lowered to uncharted territory and he squeezed her nipple firmly, “Come for me Em,” he growled. He tugged lightly on her clit with his teeth and used his fingers harder and faster until she yelled out his name, “Good girl, Em,” he whispered as he continued to suck and lick forcing her to spiral out of control again. “Perfect Em, you are so perfect,” he said as he lifted her up and lay her against the pillow. He knelt before her and she looked down at his erection and bit her lip and closed her eyes. “Open your eyes Emma, I want to see you when I fill you,” Brody whispered as he pulled her hips towards him. He slowly pushed into her and she moaned. He lifted her up so that she sat on him and she whimpered as he slowly lifted her up and down him. She watched him as he bit his lower lip and his nostrils flared as he watched as he moved in and out of her, “So fucking hot, love,” he began pounding harder and harder until she came. Her whole body shook and he laid her down and continued as he held his body up, watching her crumble. “You’re mine, Emma. Say it,” he demanded. “Yes,” she gasped. “Say it, Em,” he said slamming into her harder and faster. “I’m yours,” she said and began to cry as he came hard inside of her. His body crashed into hers and he lay still. He felt her body shake, “Em why are you crying?” “It hurts Brody. Why does it have to hurt?” She wrapped her arms around him. “Oh God I’m sorry I should have been more...” Brody started to pull away and she stopped him. “Not like that Brody. Here — it hurts here,” she cried placing his hand over her heart. “Emma, I love you, trust me please,” his eyes full of sorrow. “I want to.” He stood up and looked down and smiled, “You’re so stunning.” He grabbed her and walked into the bathroom and started the shower. “Oh Brody, we didn’t use a condom.” “I know nice, huh?” He kissed her and pulled back and grinned, “Repeat test results came back this morning, we’re all good love.” She wrapped her arms around him and he carried her into the shower, she wrapped her legs around his waist, “I need you again.” “Then have me,” she whispered, “I’m yours.” He smiled and kissed her, “Always?” He asked and slowly pushed into her. “And forever,” Emma kissed him. *** They got out of the shower and he dried her off, “Thank you love,” he kissed her. “No, thank you.” “I’m going to go down and see if everyone is all set, you wanna come?” He asked pulling his pants on. “I like to come.” He looked up at her and smiled, “You could always get in bed and take a small rest. I can wake you
when I get back.” “Sounds perfect,” Emma smiled. Brody kissed her and took her hand helping her into bed, “Wait for me?” “Of course,” she hugged him. “Promise?” He asked looking back with a half- smile. “Yes and would you hurry up and tuck your boys in? I’ve missed you,” she flopped back on the bed. He smiled and pulled the covers over her, “Be back soon, I always will be,” he smiled and kissed her nose. Emma lay looking at the ceiling thinking of how awful things had been. She knew he loved her, but everything he said and the things he did seemed to contradict each other. She also knew it wasn’t going to be easy and they had only scratched the surface of what was to come. If we face it together it’ll all be fine, she thought. *** Brody woke to Emma under the covers, he smiled and threw them on the ground and propped himself up on his elbows. He pushed her hair to the side so he could watch her, “Good morning Em, what’s this for?” Emma sucked hard down the length of him and looked up as she stroked him, “Well if you must know Music Man, your performance last night was hot, the grand finale caused fireworks to explode in places I never knew could, and the encore was just as amazing,” she smiled and flicked her tongue across his hard swollen head and, “I just thought you deserved a standing ovation?” “Oh yeah?” he smiled. “Well you’re standing…” Emma smiled and continued until she heard him moan loudly followed by the tension and the release. She opened her mouth wide so he could watch himself come in her mouth. When he finished, she licked him clean and he threw himself back. “Fuck Emma, that was hot,” he pulled her up and wrapped his arms tightly around her, “Thank you.” “No...don’t thank me, that was all for me, I’ve missed that too,” she smiled and kissed him. He pulled away and smiled, “I want you to sleep in, and I want to take care of the girls this morning. Can you manage to trust me?” “Of course, always,” she smiled as she rolled off of him. “And forever?” He asked cocking his head to the side. “Nothing less,” she laughed. “Now go!” *** “You’re the absolute best part of us Lexington, beautiful little cherub,” Brody kissed her cheek and smiled. Sweet kisses in the early morning light, Smiling face making my world fill with light. Filled my heart form the very first day I knew of you, A love unknown so sweet and true, a love unknown so sweet and true. Filling dreamless sleep with wonder not fear, Eyes shedding lightly the happiest tears, Missing days watching you grow, Pain I feel you’ll never even know, Armor I build inside for you A love unknown so sweet and true, a love unknown so sweet and true. Armor I build inside for you
My beautiful wonder I wonder and behold My beautiful wonder the greatest love story told. Your smile your smile so true and sincere, Your eyes mirror ours, a love so dear Armor I build inside for you A love unknown so sweet and true, a love unknown so sweet and true. Armor I build inside for you A life full of love for you I proclaim Strength building inside me from the mere whisper of your name Armor I build inside for you A love unknown so sweet and true, a love unknown so sweet and true. Armor I build inside for you A love unknown so sweet and true, a love unknown so sweet and true. My sweet Princess Lexington, oh how I love you. My sweet Princess Lexington, oh how I love you.
Emma laid in bed listening to Brody sing to Lexi in the monitor and drifted off. “Hey, do you want to ride with us to drop London off at school?” Brody kissed Emma’s head. “What time is it?” Emma said sitting up and stretching. Brody laughed, “Half an hour and we need to be out the door.” Emma jumped up and started for the door, “Hey Em,” he said laughing as he grabbed her hand. “I need to pack her lunch and get her …” Emma started. “All done, what you do need is clothes,” he grabbed her ass tightly as he hugged her. “Oh right,” she giggled. “I love to hear you laugh,” he kissed her neck. “We only have half an hour music man, you keep that up and I don’t think I’ll let you leave this room,” Emma pulled away. *** The car pulled up to the school drop off and Brody jumped out and took London’s hand and helped her out. She jumped up and hugged him tightly, “So I’ll see you Friday?” “I’ll be there, bells on alright?” He smiled and kissed her forehead. She looked at him and her smile started fading, “I’ll miss you.” “I’ll miss you more. Call me anytime, text me, or Skype me on your iPod. I love you London,” Brody hugged her and set her down. “You too,” she said and turned and walked away. Brody hopped in the car and looked at Emma who was babbling to Lexi. “She’s upset, I didn’t expect that,” Brody ran his hands through his hair. “What’s she upset about?” “Me staying at Lila’s. I promised I would be here for the weekend. I told her about all the interviews and the gig, she seemed alright when we ate breakfast, I even told her that anything goes this weekend. I’m sorry I’ve upset her Emma,” he said and looked up at her. Emma swallowed hard and forced a smile and immediately looked away, “Please don’t be angry, this is what’s best for all of us,” he squeezed her hand. Emma looked out the window the entire ride home, she felt numb. No more tears over this she thought, no more. “You haven’t said one word Emma, tell me what you’re thinking,” he asked pulling her into him. She quickly sat up and grabbed a drink and moved to the opposite side of the car so that she could face him and he wouldn’t be able to touch her.
“You talked to my daughter about leaving us?” Emma asked avoiding eye contact. “Emma I wanted you to sleep, we had a very busy night,” he smiled moving into her line of vision, “And you know I’m not leaving you.” “No Brody I thought last night meant we were good, back on track. I truly had no idea when I tell you I thought you weren’t still planning to do this to us, our family, to me.” “Emma I…” Brody started. “I’m done with this conversation. I’m done fighting,” Emma sat back and looked out the window. “So I’ll be home Friday night for the weekend Emma, it’s just easier to stay in the city where everything’s going on,” he said softly. “I know the commute all the way there is awful isn’t it?’ She laughed condescendingly. “So now you’re going to be a…” Brody started. “Don’t you dare,” she warned and looked away thankful that they were pulling in the driveway. She quickly grabbed Lexi and scampered into the house. *** Emma walked in and made a bottle and walked into the living room, she rocked and fed Lexington and took her upstairs to bed. She went into London’s room and grabbed laundry and then into hers. She looked at the bed and shook her head and started pulling the sheets and blankets off. “Stupid fucking bed,” she murmured and grabbed a garbage bag from the bathroom and shoved the bedding in it. She walked down the stairs carrying the garbage bag when Brody came out of the study. “Do you need help?” He asked startling her as he grabbed the bag. “No I...” she said as he looked inside. “Something wrong with our bedding?” he asked scowling. “I don’t want it anymore,” Emma walked in to grab her laptop. “Emma here’s my schedule for this week,” he said and handed her a print out. She took it and crumpled it up and let it fall on the floor. “Okay so tomorrow I have The Today Show, Wednesday and Thursday I have two radio programs. While we’re not...” He stopped and watched her walk out of the room. She was in the kitchen reading on her laptop when he walked in. He said nothing and stood looking at her. She looked up, “I’m not doing this. I’m not arguing or name calling. I don’t want to know what takes precedence over this family, or your daughter who you’ve known for five days. I’m done Brody.” His face began turning red, “You were fucking fine last night!” “I misunderstood what was happening,” Emma looked down at her computer. “And this morning when you said you would wait forever?” “For you to come back to bed,” Emma closed her mouth shut tightly hoping to stop herself from saying anything hurtful. “So another misunderstanding?” “Sure,” she looked up and smiled. “That’s a bullshit smile, Em,” he snapped. “And this whole thing is a bunch of...forget it. Could we please not fight?” “Yes,” he breathed out and grabbed her hand. She pulled it away and stood up, “When are you leaving?” “I thought we had plans for this morning Em?” He asked confused. She smiled and shook her head and walked away. “God Damn it, Emma!” She went into the office and popped in her head phones and listened to music as she returned email and he sat next to her, and she ignored him.
He took her iPod and looked to see what she was listening to and she didn’t notice he was there. Send Me On My Way was playing and she was smiling and bouncing her knee, he switched it to Marry Me by Train and she let out a breath and sat back closing her eyes and pulled out the ear pieces. “What do you need from me?” “Trust me,” he lightly caressed her face. “How long is this going to take you? How long do you need to be away from me Brody?” Emma asked feeling the unwelcome heat in her chest and behind her eyes. “Not long, I’ll see you on Friday,” he pulled her into his embrace. “I didn’t marry you expecting to feel this way all the time,” Emma said trying to keep it together. “It’s only for now, I promise you it’ll be the way we planned soon Emma,” he kissed her. “Friday?” He smiled and hugged her.
CHAPTER FIVE Emma sat and turned on the TiVo’d interview from this morning after she dropped London off at school. “Welcome back Brody Hines!” Matt hugged him. “It’s good to be back,” Brody smiled. “I bet, what happened to you?” “I really don’t remember everything, but it’s great to be back,” Brody smiled shyly. “Yeah we thought you might say that so we have a surprise guest for you,” Matt smiled. Elizabeth walked out smiling and gave him a hug, Brody politely smiled back and looked off stage and glared, must be Lila, Emma thought. Elizabeth told her story of her youth and that she knew Brody from a long time ago. She went right to the fact that he was married to her sister and that was how he knew how to find her. She cried and said what a hero he was and how if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t be alive. Brody didn’t say much but smiled. “This bothers you doesn’t it?” Matt asked. “Yeah, it’s kind of personal,” Brody answered. “Well it certainly helps explain why London’s Child is so important to you. Speaking of, your sister’s here as well.” Brody smiled and hugged Rebecca, “I’m so glad you’re alright!” “I always am,” Brody smiled. “So, tell us about your homecoming how did your wife react when you came home?” Matt asked. Brody smiled, “She’s amazing.” “She didn’t attend any of the memorials or funeral?” Matt asked. “No, she felt I was alive. She didn’t let go.” “That’s some connection.” “Sure is,” Brody smiled. “What’s it like being a father?” “Well I’ve been a step father to the coolest little girl, and now, well, I have two. Lexington’s a doll, she knew me when she saw me,” he smiled and sat back and laughed, “Apparently she and her mother watched home videos a lot.” Rebecca talked about the foundation, and the band came out. “You guys going to play something for us today? “ Matt asked Brody. “It’s been awhile, maybe next time,” he laughed. Zach smiled, “I say we play something.” Brody looked at him and raised his eyebrow. “That bother you Brody?” Matt asked “Not at all, the royalty’s pay the same whether he sings or I do,” Brody forced a smile and then looked off stage again. Zach and the band played a song. “You sure you won’t play, we could raise some money?” Matt asked egging him on. “Sure, why not,” Brody took a deep breath. *** Emma was called to the school to pick up London, who was complaining of a stomach ache. As soon
as they got home she began throwing up. Her entire night was spent feeding Lexi and sterilizing everything she came in contact with and trying to keep London from throwing up and fever free. Her phone rang at ten and she answered. “Em,” Brody whispered. “Hi.” “Did you see the show?” he asked with reservation in his voice. “Yep, you sang well,” she said softly. “That was unexpected, as was…” Brody started. “Hey I have to go, goodnight,” she ran in to help London in the bathroom. “This is awful Mommy,” London cried. “I know it’ll get better soon, usually a twenty four hour thing,” Emma smiled as she allowed her a tiny sip of water. “Ma’am, your husband called, he would like you to call him immediately,” Rupert reported and vanished. Brody answered the phone, “Why the fuck aren’t you answering my calls?” “Well let’s see, I have a sick child and between trying to help her, and sterilizing and sanitizing everything so Lexi doesn’t get sick, and taking care of Lexi I haven’t had much of a chance to answer the phone,” Emma said calmly. “So it wasn’t because of today,” Brody asked softly. “Not yet, I haven’t had a chance to be pissed about that.” “I didn’t know she was…” Brody started. “I believe you, but it doesn’t mean I’m not pissed,” Emma said in a clipped tone. “Okay and the dinner…” Brody said softly. “I have to go, London’s up again,” Emma sighed. “I love you Emma,” Brody said as she hung up. “I love you Brody,” she thought. *** The next day London spent on the couch, eating dry toast and bananas and drinking ginger ale. Emma did laundry and snuggled with her girls all day. They did arts and crafts and watched movies. She hadn’t heard from Brody and she was relieved that he wasn’t trying to fight with her. She wasn’t even sure he was, everything was so confusing. Caroline called and asked how London was feeling and Emma was short. “I’m sorry you’re going through this Emma.” Emma laughed, “How did she get to the city yesterday Mom, and how come you didn’t give me a heads up?” “Well I don’t know how to answer that Emma.” “How about the truth or is that too much to ask for anymore?” Emma asked quietly so London wouldn’t hear. “Emma — this is a very hard situation to be in, I’m sorry. It was an opportunity for her and hopefully that’s a step towards healing. Right now she needs your father and I to put her first. I’m sorry. I don’t love you any less Emma.” “I won’t get into this with you. She’s safe now. She should be trying to get her life together. None of you see what she’s doing — no actually you do see! You are feeding into her sick sick games. As a parent you should be helping her not enabling her and you certainly shouldn’t. No! No I won’t do this! I love you Mom but I need to go,” Emma hung up. By noon Lexi was spiking a fever, “We’re going to have a rough night,” Emma sighed and took
London’s temperature, “And you’re going to feel much better.” Emma was helping London wash her hair when Brody called, “Sorry I’m helping London, and can I call you,” Emma laughed, “well, whenever this is over?” “Is she better Em?” “She is, Lexi has a fever now. You’re lucky to not be here or you’d be next,” Emma said with a smile in her voice. “You sound better, happy even.” “I’m a busy Mommy.” “Should I come home, do you need anything?” “Oh boy here we go Lexi. I have to go,” Emma hung up. *** By Thursday night Emma was exhausted and not feeling well. London was going to school in the morning and Lexi was in snuggle mode. Emma lay on the couch sipping green tea when the phone rang. Troy wanted to visit with London. He had ended the visit the weekend before so she could spend time with Brody. Troy asked if she could come home with him for just one night, his cousin Tessa was finally home and London’s cousins would be there. Emma knew he was better and that he wasn’t pushing because he knew Emma was going through a lot and they had become friends when Brody was presumed dead.. Emma talked to London who was excited about seeing her cousins. Troy would pick her up at four Friday afternoon and promised to return in time for bed Saturday. Emma fell asleep and woke up at two in the morning and threw up for four hours. She felt better long enough to take London to school and feed Lexi and it started again. She woke to Rupert telling her to call Brody. “Emma, you really need to start answering your phone,” he said and sounded stressed. “Sorry, I’ve been sick.” “What’s wrong?” “I told you, stomach bug, it went through all three of us, Lexi’s asleep right now and I don’t feel well I need...” Emma dropped the phone and leaned over the toilet and threw up. When she finished she rinsed her mouth and grabbed the phone, “Sorry, I need to sleep.” “Okay, is London looking forward to tonight?” “She’s going with Troy to make up last weekend night he missed, why?” “Well I promised I would be home. Why does he get to make up the night and where are they staying?” He demanded. “She’s going for one night to his home. His cousin’s in town with her cousins. She’s excited, Brody. I feel awful…do we need to do this now?” “No but if she isn’t going to be there and you don’t feel well maybe I should stay and participate in this fundraising dinner tonight,” Brody said quietly. “That’s fine.” “I wish you could come with me Em,” Brody whispered softly. “Will I see you tomorrow?” Emma asked sadly. “Wild horses love,” he said with a smile. Emma smiled when she thought about the time he sang the song and they danced in the rain naked on their back patio. “Mmm” she moaned. “You feeling better, I can blow this off tonight.” “No — go. I want you well.” “How is my little angel?” He asked sadly. “Perfect as always,” Emma yawned.
“Sleep love, I’ll see you tomorrow well rested and ready for lots of me.” “Goodnight music man, I miss you, I love you,” Emma whispered. “Always?” “And forever.” “Hang up and get some sleep, I’m sorry I haven’t been there to help you,” Brody said sweetly. “No you aren’t, or you would be puking as well,” Emma giggled. “Sweet dreams. Love you more,” he said and hung up. *** Emma took a long bath and ate crackers, she smiled and remembered being sick when she was pregnant for London, she ate so many damn saltines that she was sure she would turn into one. She stepped out and onto the scales, she had lost seven pounds since the bug began. Perfect she thought, little black dress is going to look hot now, she laughed, if you ever use it! Emma blew her hair dry and looked in the mirror, looking damn good, she thought smiling. Emma grabbed bronzer and started with her legs and worked her way up, she smiled. “Let’s just see how you fit,” she said and grabbed her dress out and held it against her and twirled and smiled. *** Caroline walked in the house, “I’m glad you called,” she set down her bag, “I think it’ll give us a great chance to talk,” Caroline looked up at Emma, “Honey, what are you doing?” “I miss my husband, I won’t be gone long but could you stay until I get home?” Emma asked considerately. “Of course. You look stunning.” *** Emma walked in and looked around and took a deep breath, “Mrs. Hines,” Zach whispered from behind her. Emma jumped, “Oh, hi Zach,” she laughed. “You look absolutely gorgeous,” he looked her up and down. “Well thank you, and you look dashing.” “Let me grab you a drink,” Zach grabbed two glasses of champagne off the tray passing by, the waitress stopped, smiled, and blushed as she walked away. “You have some effect,” Emma laughed. “Do I?” Zach smiled. Emma drank down the glass in one gulp. “Thirsty?” “I guess so, have you seen my husband?” Emma asked scanning the crowd. “He’s up next,” Zach pointed to the stage. “Oh he is performing?” “Yep and then the DJ and then me. You should stick around and watch,” he smiled coyly and scanned the crowd for the waitress. He raised his hand and the same blonde doe eyed waitress quickly came and he grabbed two more glasses, “Thank you,” he smiled and winked. “Are you trying to make that girl fall apart?” Emma laughed, “So how are things going here, are you raising a lot of money?” “Well that depends, it’s an action of sorts, people bid on the performer and a dance,” Zach said and smiled, “Your husband brought in $50,000. Do you think he’s worth it?” “Sure do,” Emma smiled.
“I bet I can bring in more,” Zach laughed. “Don’t count on it, hot shot.” The music started and Brody sang the song he sang when he proposed to Emma, she smiled brightly as she watched him. She couldn’t wait to get her hands on him. The song ended and Emma took a step forward and Zach grabbed her, “Now he has to dance.” “Oh, okay,” she smiled and took a drink. She saw Ariel walk on the dance floor and Brody bowed as he took her hand and smiled his sexy hot smile. Emma looked at Zach and then her glass. “It’s an obligatory dance Emma,” he smiled and raised his hand and the waitress was there in a seconds. The dance ended and Emma took a deep breath, “Wish me luck, Emma Hines,” Zach smiled as he kissed her hand, “Oh and if I bomb, bail me out.” Emma watched as Ariel hugged Brody and he smiled and turned away. Emma saw Elizabeth walk up to him quickly and they exchanged words. She saw him run his hands through his hair and let out a frustrated breath. He pointed to the door and she shook her head no. Brody grabbed her hand and quickly disappeared out of the room. Emma was shocked and she grabbed a drink off doe eyed blonde’s tray and looked up at the stage, Zach was smiling and his bid was up to $45,000. He turned towards Emma and his eyes widened, Fuck it she thought and raised her paddle. The bid was at $48,000. Emma whispered to the gentleman standing next to her waiting for her bid, $50,001, the auctioneer announced and Emma won the bid. She smiled and Zach laughed. Emma stood watching the door, willing him to come back out, he had been gone for five minutes and she grabbed another glass of champagne. Zach walked up, “Emma we’re up,” he said and dragged her to the dance floor, “Any specific song?” “Something fast, nothing slow, let’s do this,” she plastered a fake smile on her face. “I get to choose?” “Anything you want,” Emma said looking towards the door. “And fast is good?” “Yes Zach fast!” Emma snapped. “Mr. Taylor has chosen the song for him and Mrs. Hines,” the DJ laughed. “I’ve never heard this,” Emma said as she danced out to the floor with Zach. He laughed, “Zach this is naughty,” Emma gasped. And the crowd noticed. Emma smiled and put her hands up as if to say oh well. Emma was drunk and followed his lead and laughed as he walked up behind her and slowly worked his way down, it felt more like a lap dance, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the music and then stood back as he worked the crowd. At the end he walked to the beat of the music towards her and she laughed, he dipped her and she saw Brody walking out with Elizabeth. She quickly stood up, “Hey — I don’t feel very well.” Zach looked over at Brody, “Well, then let’s get you out of here.” They walked out and his car was waiting. He opened the door and was walking around to get in when he saw Brody running out. He cranked up the radio and revved the engine of the red R8, Crazy Bitch blasted through the speakers and Emma laughed at Zach and turned and looked out the window at Brody’s very angry face, “You want to stick around and deal with more of that shit?” “Nope,” she said and shot Brody a dirty look as Zach peeled out. “Slow down, buddy,” Emma laughed. “Buddy huh?” Zach laughed, “Look in your side mirror, two cars back would be a pissed off husband’s limo, I would prefer to get you home without getting into a fight.”
“Oh, Zach, I’m so sorry,” Emma gasped. “That wasn’t my intention, I didn’t mean to start problems.” Zach laughed, “By the looks of you when you walked in tonight, I know that this wasn’t your intention. By the way are you alright?” “I’m fine, I do need some crackers, I feel sick,” Emma said holding her stomach. Zach punched it and the car took off, he zipped into a gas station, “Sit but if you puke in my car I’ll let your husband catch us and kick his ass in front of you,” Zach laughed and ran into the store. He returned with ginger ale and saltines. “Here’s a bag Emma, if you need it,” Zach peeled out of the parking lot. Emma looked at the speedometer and they were going a hundred miles per hour, “Hey now…slow down. I’m a mommy of two beautiful girls and they need me.” Zach laughed, “We’re good, I won’t let you get hurt.” “Thank you for everything tonight.” “No thank you, I got to dance to a, what did you say, naughty song, with the hottest chick in the place,” Zach winked at her. “Listen if you’re driving fast and winking at me, thinking you’re going to get laid you’re wrong. The rock star stuff really doesn’t do it for me,” Emma hiccupped. Zach slowed down and pulled off at a rest area. He turned off the car and turned towards her and grabbed her hands, “Listen — if I wanted to fuck you, you wouldn’t have a chance to say no. You would be begging for it. I’m good Emma, really fucking good,” Emma’s jaw dropped and he lifted her chin closing it and smiled, “I’m going to be honest here, I think you are fucking amazing, beautiful, loyal, and dedicated to your family. The way you dance almost gave me an erection. If I didn’t need this job and I couldn’t see that you love him, you would be leaving him for me, eventually.” Before Emma could speak they were back on the road. “I’m sorry I was rude.” “Don’t, I think it’s hot,” he laughed and passed a police officer going one hundred and twenty miles per hour, “Fuck!” Lights flashed behind them and he pulled off the road. The police asked him to step out of the car and made him do a breath- a- lyzer. Cars drove by, slowed down to watch. Emma saw him smile and shake the officer’s hand and walk back to the car. “Thank God he recognized me, and you by the way,” he smiled and slowly pulled out. *** Zach turned off the car and looked over at Emma who was sleeping, “Emma you’re home.” She didn’t respond and he walked around the car and open the door as Brody stormed out of the house. “Hey Emma your husband’s home and he looks pissed,” Zach laughed as he took her hand and pulled her up. Emma laughed and hiccupped, “Oh well,” and she passed out. Zach threw her over his shoulder and started carrying her up the driveway. “Put her down!” Brody yelled. “Yeah, here’s the thing, your wife is loaded and kind of passed out. I’ll be carrying her,” Zach continued walking. “I’ll take her,” Brody snapped. “I brought her home, I’ll carry her in,” Zach growled back at him. Emma moaned, “Uh oh,” and threw up down his back. Zach laughed, “Mrs. Hines, you just threw up on me.” She sat up and slid down his body and steadied herself against him, “I’m so sorry.” “No big deal, Brody can I get some clothes?” Zach laughed.
Emma turned around, “What are you doing here?” “This is my house, our house,” Brody grabbed her hand, she pulled it away, “Cut the shit, Emma!” “Hey Zach I want you to know how much I a...preci...ate your help tonight, so I won’t fight with this guy in front of you,” Emma spoke slowly and laughed. Caroline walked out, “Emma are you drunk?” “Yeah, I am,” Emma laughed. “Mom this is Zach, Brody’s replacement,” Emma giggled, “In the band when he was missing. Speaking of missing, did you know Elizabeth was at the fundraiser and she and Brody took a long walk together tonight?” Caroline looked at her with hurt in her eyes, “Of course you did,” Emma turned to Zach, “Thank you so much for keeping me sane tonight, my…husband should also thank you because if you didn’t help me get out of there I may have caused an ugly scene,” she hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you Zach,” Brody sneered. “My pleasure, nice meeting you,” he smiled at Caroline and started to walk away. “Hey Zach wait,” Emma laughed, “Your jacket and your car, not a good mix. Brody give him your jacket,” Emma looked at him and he scowled at her, “Fine, I’ll just give him my dress.” “Emma — thanks anyway but I got this,” he took off his jacket and shirt as he walked towards the car. Emma walked in the house and up the stairs. She threw her dress on the floor and pulled on a tee shirt and walked in the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. Emma walked in to check on Lexi and Brody stood over her crib with his arms crossed in front of him. Emma grabbed the thermometer and took her temperature. “Perfect,” she covered her up and kissed her head. Emma walked out and climbed in bed. Brody came in and stood looking at her, “Emma,” he started. “I don’t want to do this tonight. I don’t feel well,” Emma laid her head on her pillow. “So you said when you told me not to come home tonight,” Brody whispered as he took his shirt off getting into bed. “Really, you get to be pissed at me?” Emma sat up too quickly, “Oh God,” she stumbled out of bed and ran into the bathroom and threw up. Brody squatted down and pulled her hair back, “I know you don’t want to do this tonight and that’s fine, Ariel paid for a dance…” “Ya well you owe $50,001 for my dance with Zach,” Emma snapped and threw up again. “That’s fine Emma, but your sister,” he started. “No,” Emma grabbed toilet paper and wiped her mouth. “Damn it listen to me, she was threatening to make things ugly if I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t want a scene Emma. You know damn well that I love you, that I think she’s toxic, that I can’t fucking stand what she’s done to you. I’m trying to get us through this, all of us,” Brody said and let out a breath. “I missed you so much I wanted to surprise you and be with you.” “Em, you surprised me,” he smirked. “That’s not funny,” Emma stood up. “A little funny,” he rubbed her back. “Brody...I don’t feel well,” Emma whispered. “Hmm,” he kissed her neck. “I need to brush my teeth, I just yakked,” Emma made a nasty face. Brody brushed her teeth and carried her to bed, “I should have just come home tonight and not fucking gone there, I’m sorry.” “You’re home now, please let’s go to sleep. I want to feel good in the morning,” she laid across his chest.
“I love you Em,” Brody kissed her head. Emma woke to his screams and thrashing, it was worse than before. “Brody, wake up,” Emma put her hands on his face. He grabbed her hands and flipped her to her back, “You keep your fucking hands off of me bitch, is this what you want?” He yelled pushing into her. “Brody wake up!” She cried out. “You’ve been begging for it, now shut the fuck up!” He reached under her shirt. “Wake up!” She screamed. Clive ran into the room and pulled him off of her, Brody scampered across the floor and crouched in the corner tucking his head into his knees rocking back and forth. “You can go now Clive, thank you,” Emma said taken aback. “I’ll wait until he wakes up ma’am,” Clive stood protectively in front of her crossing his arms. Brody stood up and charged after Clive who grabbed him and restrained him on the floor, “LET ME FUCKING GO, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” He screamed as he fought him trying to get up. Emma sat paralyzed watching her husband, her phone sounded alerting her of a text. - Mrs. Hines…this is your dance partner from this evening. I wanted to give you a heads up. I’ve been staying at the apartment and your husband’s had some pretty fucked up dreams, be careful...Erase this message I don’t want any issues for you or me. If you need anything, you have my number. “Everything okay?” Clive asked as Brody walked into the bathroom finally awake. “Yes. Clive does this happen often?” Emma asked, “I mean have they gotten worse?” “Yes ma’am, and he doesn’t remember them. Would you feel better sleeping in the other room?” “No, I want to be here, with him,” Emma said sadly. Brody walked out of the bathroom with his head hung in shame as he climbed in bed. “Ok, I’ll be here if you need me,” Clive reluctantly left the room. Emma sat and watched him, he was asleep and beautiful, she knew he’d been through hell and wished he could talk to her about it. She bent down and kissed his head and he stirred. She sat back not wanting to wake him. She thought of the last night he had been home and how he didn’t wake up with these awful nightmares. Emma smiled remembering what was different about that night. She leaned down and kissed his cheek and he breathed out and looked peaceful, she lay next to him and he smiled and whispered her name. “Em.” *** Emma woke in the middle of the night and wanted him, needed him. If this was the only way she could feel close to him, loved by him then she would take it. He was laying on his side and he was slightly erect. Emma slipped under the covers and started kissing him softly. “Em,” he moaned and rolled to his back. She moved faster, sucking harder as she ran her tongue along the bulging veins on the underside of his hard, thick penis. His finger moved into her and he pulled the covers off of her watching her pleasuring him as she sucked him faster and used her hands to help her. His thumb began to circle her clit and she squirmed, “Em, come for me,” he moaned and thrust himself into her mouth. She sucked him drawing out to his tip and flicking her tongue forcefully across his head and he began to stiffen. “Slow down, ladies first,” he moaned and slipped a second finger inside her and pressed down on her clit with his thumb. She stiffened but didn’t stop as she sucked him. They exploded together and she swallowed quickly and collapsed with him still in her hand. He rubbed her ass as they caught their breath.
Brody sat up and kissed her behind lightly and looked down. “Now, that’s a very fine sight,” he smiled and bent down and nipped her butt lightly with his teeth. “Without a doubt,” she said kissing the head of him. “Feeling better?” “Just what I needed, way better than that pink stomach medicine,” she sat up. “You looked beautiful this evening, although I much prefer the way you looked down there,” he smiled and pulled her up into his arms. “Can we sleep for a while?” Emma asked kissing his chest. “I don’t know, will you allow it?” He raised his eyebrow and smiled. “Yes, I’ll wake you when I need you,” she raised her eyebrows and turning facing away from him. “Oh really?” He laughed. “Yes really, if my stomach begins to hurt again I’ll just…” she started. He grabbed her and pinned her down kissing her belly and she laughed loudly. “Whenever you need medicine it’s here for you, love. Now get back over here and sleep,” Brody laughed. “God I love you,” Emma whispered. “I love you,” Brody pulled her tighter. “Always?” Emma asked. “And forever,” Brody rubbed her back.
CHAPTER SIX Emma woke to the angelic sound of her husband singing to their daughter. She sat up and stretched and scooted out of bed. Emma showered and grabbed her tee shirt and pulled it over her head and slipped on her favorite sweatpants. “Good morning,” she smiled as she walked into the nursery. “I was hoping you would stay in bed until this one took her nap,” Brody smiled at Lexi. “Well, as soon as she does I promise to, as long as you don’t sneak out on me,” Emma kissed his head and then Lexi’s. “Can I get you anything to drink or eat?” “Are you hungry?” “I am, I’ve been living on saltines and ginger ale. The only thing I’ve had in my stomach of substance was...well you,” she smiled. He held back him smile, “Really now?” “Yep! I’ll be back,” Emma kissed his head and walked out. Brody walked into the kitchen, “She’s asleep, can I feed you?” He smiled reaching down his sweats releasing his erection. Emma’s eyes widened as she looked down, “Please.” He pulled himself up to sit on the counter. Brody clenched his jaw as he watched her suck his cock. *** Emma and Brody were laying on the couch asleep when Clive walked in, “Do you have a minute?” Brody looked at him and rolled his eyes, “Don’t you move, I want you right here…again,” he whispered and kissed her head. “We have a problem,” Clive said as he popped an SD card into his laptop, “This came in the mail today. We have no idea who it’s from, but there are specific instructions about how to keep this from going viral.” Brody watched the video and looked at Clive, “Who the fuck is this from?” “No idea, it was left in the mailbox. I do know that it wasn’t delivered by the mailman.” “What were their fucking demands?” “Two million dollars, if that isn’t delivered by noon tomorrow it gets leaked.” “Get the money Clive, I can’t have her seeing this. It would fucking kill her,” Brody clenched his fist. “Tomorrow is Sunday, Brody. The banks are opened until noon today.” “Alright, let me go tell Emma I need to step out. You call Tanner and have him meet us, I want to know this is authentic,” Brody demanded walking out of the room. *** Brody walked in and Emma was on the couch covered with a blanket, she lifted the blanket and flashed him. “Clive gone?” She asked seductively. “He’s in the kitchen waiting for me, we need to step out for a bit,” Brody looked away. “Really?” She laughed. “Sorry,” he looked back down at her. Emma noticed his eyes go from their sparkling happy place to a distant place, one that wasn’t easily swayed by just her naked body and over confidence in his desire for her. “Oh, okay,” she managed and
quickly pulled the blanket tightly around her body, self- conscious and disappointed. “Em, I won’t be gone long,” he smiled and kissed her head and turned around to leave. “Why?” Emma snapped. Brody turned around and cocked his head to the side and smiled with his eyes, “You need me right now Em, are you ravenous for more already, or can you wait?” She looked down embarrassed by the fact that she didn’t want him to walk out the door again in fear she wouldn’t see him. Even more embarrassed that he knew how badly she wanted him all the damn time. *** “Emma you moved,” Brody said grabbing her around the waist and carrying her up the stairs, “I think I’m going to have to string you up in order to get you to listen to me.” He tossed her on the bed and kissed her neck, he pulled off her clothes and then his. He looked in her eyes and smiled. Emma looked at him and closed her eyes and let him take her. They showered in silence. “You alright?” Brody asked drying off her back. “London will be home soon.” “I know, I stopped and bought some clothes, we have a photographer coming over in the morning after church, family photos sound good?” Brody hugged her. “Sounds good, thank you,” Emma put on clothes. “Are you alright Emma?” Brody asked cupping her face in his hands. “Just tired, I think I have a fever. I probably should have stayed home instead of…” her voice broke and she began to cry. Brody hugged her, “Emma come on, let’s get you into bed.” Emma continued to cry into his chest when Lexi woke, “I’ll get her.” Emma grabbed her phone and called Lila, “Hey, I need to talk to you.” “You’re crying Emma,” Lila said softly. “Things aren’t good here, he’s keeping something from me and I don’t know what, but I can’t help but feel my life is falling apart again. Lila, I’m so scared that one of these days I won’t be able to recover from the blows,” Emma sobbed. “I’m here whenever you need me, even if it’s just to vent. I love you Emma, and I can honestly say that I know he loves you. It has to be okay, right?” “What if it’s not enough Lila, what if love just doesn’t conquer all this time?” Emma cried. “I’m going to look at his schedule for next week and figure out when we can get together, I’ll text you. I don’t care what time it is, call me,” Lila said softly. Emma wiped her eyes and looked up and Brody was standing in the doorway holding Lexi staring at her, “Don’t you give up on us Em, ever,” he walked over and took her temperature, “You don’t have fever.” Emma looked down as Lexi climbed into her lap and she held her tightly. Emma looked up at him and the tears began to fall again, “Someday I hope you can love me enough to trust me. This is breaking me Brody.” He held them both and Emma fell asleep in his arms. Brody was sitting on the bed feeding Lexi when Emma woke up, Lexi was almost asleep. He held his finger to his mouth telling her to be quiet and looked at Lexi. Emma laid her head back down and fell asleep. “Emma,” Brody whispered. She sat up and he hugged her. “Please talk to me.” “I know this feeling Brody...I felt it before you left me…” Emma took a breath. “I didn’t leave you Emma. I’m not leaving you,” Brody kissed her head. “Tuesday morning when I wake up in the middle of the night, am I going to hear your heart dancing in
my ear?” “I don’t know yet.” “When you do, when you know exactly where my life is heading...could you let me know?” Emma went to stand. “Emma sit please,” she did as she was asked. “You know there’s still an investigation going on as to what the hell happened to me right?” Brody asked and she nodded her head. “You know that I’m not fighting about Rupert staying on right?” she nodded her head. “Please trust me, please let me get US through this, please don’t ask questions, its best you don’t know certain things right now...and please don’t give up on us or our family.” “It’s very hard not to Brody, when there’s no trust or belief in me.” “I trust you and believe in you, you need to do the same,” Brody kissed her head. “Are you frightened Brody?” “Of losing you,” Brody answered and his grip tightened and body shook slightly, “I can’t lose you. Regardless of what direction this goes you need to have faith in me, that same faith you had all those months I was gone. You need to be strong for us here and let me take care of the un- pleasantries the outside brings to us.” Emma couldn’t contain her tears anymore. “I’m not good at saying I was wrong. I don’t regret much in my life because all of it brought me to you and I won’t lose you. I know we’ll be alright it’s just going to take some work,” Brody said wiping away her tears, “We won’t be lost Em, we’ll be okay. I’ll not give up on us, and you can’t either.” “But you won’t tell me?” “I can’t, not now, not for a while. Look at me, I love you,” Brody kissed her passionately, “I love you always and forever.” *** Rupert’s wife, Ann, was hired on as a housekeeper. Brody insisted that Emma needed to focus on the girls since he would be away Monday through Friday. London adored her and Rupert actually smiled when she was around. Brody came home for dinner twice during the week on the weekends London spent with Troy so that he could spend time with her. He was home on weekends but very preoccupied when he was there. Sex was no longer a desire, it was a need. He needed Emma, not a soft desire to make her happy but a stress release for himself. Emma of course wasn’t deprived, but many nights she would sit on the bathroom or kitchen floor crying. Ann always seemed to appear with a cup of tea when the tears stopped flowing. Rupert and Emma went three times a week to the shooting range, Emma was getting pretty good at target practice. Emma was also good at piano, she’d stepped in to play with London when Brody went missing but she missed Brody playing with her. As the weeks passed, the weekends London was on her visit Brody would come home on Saturday afternoon instead of Friday night. “Can we talk, Em?” Brody asked stopping her dead in her tracks, he hadn’t asked this in a month. “Yes,” Emma sat at the table playing with her hands. “Okay, Clive went out to grab something and we’ll discuss it okay?” Brody was tapping his foot anxiously. Emma looked at Clive as he walked in and started to hand her an envelope. Emma looked up at him and sat on her hands, and shook her head no. “Em just take it,” Brody said softly. “No!” She snapped and started to shake. “Take the damn papers, Em,” Brody yelled and she jumped.
Emma looked at him and scowled, she looked up at Clive and gave him a hurt questioning look, he didn’t show any emotion. Emma let out a deep breath feeling as if her body, her heart was deflating. She glanced at Brody who looked down and back to Clive and extended her hand that was shaking. “You’ve been served,” Clive said quietly. Emma forced a slight smile and tried to stand. Brody quickly stood and put his hands on the arms of the chair to stop her from moving. Emma pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around them and put her head on her knees. “We need to talk about this Em,” Brody whispered. She heard Clive walk out the door. “I ...would like…you to give me a few minutes, please” Emma started shaking. “Do you trust me Em?” He asked and his voice broke. Emma looked up wiping her tears, “Not even a little.” Brody dropped to his knees and grabbed her tightly, “Emma don’t do this to me, not to us.” Emma sat back, “I didn’t.” “You’re giving up,” he said looking up at her with tears in his eyes. Emma looked at him and shook her head, “When you left six weeks ago, you never came back,” she wiped a tear from his face. He held her hand against his face, “I’ve been here Emma,” his voice now pleading. “You know better than that. I’ve watched the news alerts. I’ve seen pictures of you at dinner with Ariel and Elizabeth. I’ve seen pictures of you at clubs with your friends and dancing with different women. I’ve said nothing, I hoped you would return,” Emma said, “I don’t hate you. I knew this was coming. I just tried to …I tried to believe.” “Emma, I love you,” Brody looked up at her through his perfect thick long lashes. “I love you,” Emma said sadly, “Can we do this before London gets home?” “Everything is yours, and this is a separation not a divorce,” Brody said pulling a chair next to Emma’s and held her hand, “I haven’t cheated on you and I won’t.” “Well we’ll be separated so technically it won’t be cheating anymore, you’re free to date whoever you want,” Emma said looking down. “Like hell I am, and neither are you,” Brody snapped. “You already have Brody. Please don’t tell me what to do,” Emma snapped back. “Your sister’s a fucking nut job! I’m trying to keep her fucking mouth shut,” Brody said looking at Emma like she had three heads. “And Ariel? What’s that about?” Emma asked calmly. “It’s complicated,” Brody looked away. “I see. So how long do we need to be separated before we can file for divorce?” Emma asked standing up and grabbing a glass of water. “Not going to happen, Em,” Brody growled. “So then tell me something, what does my dear sister need to keep her mouth shut about? And really — I don’t get to know why my husband, wait — excuse me... estranged spouse, is dining with his ex when he hasn’t even asked me to go on a date with him since he came back from the dead?” Emma asked in a harsh whisper. “I come home to you Emma. I make love to you. You are the only person I want to be close to, does that mean nothing to you?” “Brody — do you know that most of the time after you fuck me, let’s just call it what it is, it’s fucking, I end up crying for hours because I don’t feel that connection, that intimacy. I get it now, they’re getting that part of you, the emotional connection, I just get you off,” Emma walked out the door. Brody walked onto the patio and watched Emma reading the papers. “I don’t want this house. I don’t
want your money. Sole custody I will keep, and I’ll be moving. I have no one here anymore. Revise this with your lawyer and I’ll get it to mine. I’m going out Friday night, Ann will watch our daughter. London will be with Troy. You can stay in your little bachelor pad and throw a party. You’re free now!” “I’m sorry I’m hurting you right now. I can tell you it’s going to get worse before it’s over but it will be over Emma, and then we can move forward,” Brody said sitting next to her. “Please just leave me alone, I can’t breathe anymore. You’re crushing me, I didn’t think you could ever hurt me like this. Just stop the talking and leave me alone. I feel like you need me to break, like you’re gaining something from it and that makes this pain, this hell even worse, so please Brody just leave it alone,” Emma went to stand and he grabbed her. “It’s better for you and the girls, you’re safer that way alright?” Brody said looking her in the eyes. “Sure from Elizabeth’s threats. You do what you need to do Brody and I’ll do the same,” Emma stood and walked away. Brody walked into the family room and looked at Emma, “I don’t know any other way to do this Em.” Emma looked at him, “I’ve been here before Brody. I never thought I would be here again. I however, do know how to do this and I’ll figure it out.” “No!” He snapped and walked towards her, “It’s not the same Emma…” “It is, its lies and secrecy and it …” Emma stood, “It hurts but I can do this.” Brody grabbed her and pulled her into him, “It’s not the same Em — you know it’s not.” “Let me go, I’ve already made up my mind, I won’t do this,” Brody tried to interrupt her and she pulled away, “Let me go!” Brody looked hurt and confused as he released her, “Do you love me Em?” Emma took a deep breath and stepped back, “Yes, I also still love Troy as the father of my child. There’s a difference between loving someone and being in love Brody.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean!” He reached for her. “Don’t,” Emma said and walked away. “EMMA!” Brody yelled, “IT’S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.” “Ma’am, London’s home,” Rupert announced. “Perfect, thank you,” Emma smiled at him. “Em,” Brody said. “Not now,” Emma said softly. London and Lexi were both asleep when Brody walked into the kitchen. Emma was sipping a cup of tea and didn’t realize he’d come in. Emma turned and saw him, “Are you leaving now?” “I hadn’t planned on it until later,” he ran his hands through his hair. “I think it’s a good idea,” Emma took a drink and turned back to the window. “Why Em?” He asked walking towards her. Emma brushed past him and placed her cup in the sink, “I can’t do this.” Brody followed her, she stopped and turned around, “I can’t do this. I won’t do this.” “Can’t do what Emma?” He asked softly. “Brody, please get help, try to find out why…” she began. “Get HELP?” Brody roared, “I’m not Troy Emma, I’m not out…” “ENOUGH. You can tell yourself whatever you want to. I’ve been lying to myself for weeks as well,” Emma whispered, “You didn’t come back the same, and the worst has been the past few weeks, the lies Brody…” “I have not lied to you…” Brody grabbed her hand. Emma pulled it away slowly and tried to smile, “Not telling me things is lying, going on dates is cheating, me staying here allowing this is enabling and it’s all breaking me. Let it go, I can’t work on
fixing something when I have no idea what the problem is. I can’t trust someone who holds things back from me, and I can’t do this with you anymore.” “I mean that little to you Emma?” Brody looked confused and hurt, he held his hand to his chest. “No, you were my everything. I trusted you with my life, with my daughter, and I trusted you enough to bring another child into my heart. I would never change it, with everything that’s gone on...Do you know what it’s like when your little girl walks into your house after having not seen her in two days and you can’t be happy? Less than two years ago SHE was my everything. My choices have changed her life Brody, and she’s getting a shell of me. Now I have Lexington and she doesn’t even know the love that London knew, because I’ve been pieces of who I could be for her. When it was just London I could hold it together, now I have two,” Emma began to cry, “Do you know how awful I feel about who I’ve become?” “Em, love…” Brody held his hand to his heart and fought tears. “No, let me finish. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to me, I can’t just have you popping in and out of their life like this, not this soon, it’s seriously messing with my head. You want what you expect me to believe is a fake separation. To wait and wonder, and still lay with you when you come home? That’s crushing me far worse than the hell I went through when I had no clue where you were.” “That’s great Em, so if I was still a caged, drugged animal, you would feel better?” He snapped. “God Brody, no. See I can’t do this. I can’t do this to any of us,” Emma cried. Brody grabbed her and held her, “Damn it, I’m sorry Em.” “I need a break from all of this,” Emma said pulling away, “I’m going to take the girls away for a week, alone Brody. Please don’t fight with me, I need this. I need to see them smile, play, and laugh...and I need to do that with them.” “I’ll figure it out and try to come…” Brody began. “No Brody,” Emma whispered looking at the ground, “I need to do this alone. They need this as much as I do. No tension, no stress, just fun.” “We can do that, Em,” Brody’s words were more a plea than a statement. “No, I can’t with you there, I can’t pretend. I need this, they need this,” Emma took a step back and looked at him and then rubbed his face and tears fell. Brody looked confused and hurt and Emma took a step towards him and stopped. He let out a deep breath and his shoulders slumped in and he shook his head in confusion. Emma wiped her tears, “God, I’m so sorry.” “Me too Em, please…” Brody closed his eyes, his words a silent prayer. “I’m exhausted and I need sleep, I need to be healthy for them Brody. You need to understand that and you need to do the same,” Emma turned. “Emma, God Damn it, I love you,” Brody’s voice broke. Emma turned around and forced a smile, “I know Brody.” He watched as she walked away. *** “Hey Mom where are we going?” London skipped into the kitchen. “On an adventure,” Emma smiled. “Is Brody coming?” “No he’s busy but we’re going to have a great time,” Emma grabbed her and spun her around and kissed her. “Give me a hint?” London laughed. “Water and fun,” Emma grinned, “That’s all you’re getting little one. Now go grab another suit.” Emma dialed her phone. “Everything alright Emma?” Troy asked.
“Yes, I’m going to take the girls for a little trip, does your family still have the house on the Cape?” “Yes, Emma — is Brody going?” “No he’s busy and we need a break, do you think you could call Tessa?” “As a matter of fact, she’s on her way there now. Collin’s still out of town but meeting them, I’m sure she would love to see you and the girls,” Troy had a smile in his voice. “Okay, thank you Troy, we’ll be leaving in a couple hours. Hey if you’re not busy…” Emma began. “I would love to come for the weekend, an extra weekend with London sounds perfect,” Troy laughed. “Okay then, thanks.” Emma hung up and took a deep breath. London came down the stairs with her backpack full. Emma opened it to see its contents. “No phone needed, no iPad, wow London let’s have an electronic free…” Emma began. “Mom that’s how I talk to Brody and Dad,” London argued. “You can use my phone,” Emma smiled and put them on the counter. “Let’s bounce, I have some surprises in store for you!” *** Eyes watching, waiting for you to go down, anticipation, greed, to need the moment you release the fiend, Ripping and tearing from inside, the white light burns, hells fury awaits, the past haunts you, the terror the pain covers a blackness never to be clean Taunting eyes glow, the mumbles you hear, pain to anger, anger to fear. Placid places, a palace inside, a meadow a brook a feeling a look, but the burn the pain comes too fast ripping and tearing, black tomorrow to clear. Standing on the edge of hell, searching its escape. Seeking a clearing while losing faith. I see you through the clouds the sun shines onto you, step back to the darkness to keep the sun safe, step back to the darkness to keep the sun safe. Chorus In sleep I seek solace from the burn and the pain Memories of hell running through like a train I seek the suns light the warmth of her rays A walk through hell to reach it for the rest of earth’s days. In early slumber I reach you I feel no agony The beauty and softness her light gives to me. Momentary relief turns back to hell Ripping me from the soft place I fell. Momentary relief turns back to hell Ripping me from the soft place I fell. Closed eyes, hands moving in search for softness’ return, hands annihilated, recoiling, seeking no longer for anything but hells truth The suns ray hidden from clouds, lightning, thunder, hells fury tore from her hearts youth The darkness it spreads, unable to contain the fury and wrath Dizziness drowning, watching life’s beauty pass you by as you walk down darkened path Nothing good in her light you pushed it away, don’t return to me are the words fear compels you to say In hell you lay broken beaten and bruised the early slumber seeking oh seeking today’s tomorrow for a way Chorus In sleep I seek solace from the burn and the pain Memories of hell running through like a train I seek the suns light the warmth of her rays A walk through hell to reach it for the rest of earth’s days. In early slumber I reach you I feel no agony
The beauty and softness her light gives to me. Momentary relief turns back to hell Ripping me from the soft place I fell. Momentary relief turns back to hell Ripping me from the soft place I fell. Bridge
Brody sat in a dark room and wrote, it was his way to release anger in earlier years. His anger now pain, a deep burning pain, one he never knew until recently. Hell on earth. Mirrored pain, reflected anger, the sun glimpse of hell, reflecting the darkness, violently ravaged, torn the pain in her tortured hidden sound Putting you in hells path facing its truth, lighten path for just a glimpse the heart of the sun shattered pieces no longer bound. In sleep I needed solace from the burn and the pain Memories of hell still run through like a train I need for the suns light the warmth of her rays I walked her to hell for the rest of our days. In early slumber I reached you I felt agony The beauty and softness her light no longer given to me. Momentary relief turns back to hell Ripping me from the soft place I fell. Momentary relief turns back to hell Ripping me from the soft place I fell.
CHAPTER SEVEN They pulled in and London clapped, “I knew it!” “You did?” The door swung opened and Tessa grabbed London and smiled, “Hey little one, well not so little, look at you!” “Aunt Tessa!” London said laughing, “Are the cousins here?” “They are and should be here any…” Tessa laughed as the boys grabbed her out of her hands. “I get to see her first!” Harper stomped. Emma laughed and stepped out, “Thank you Tessa,” she whispered as she hugged her. “Please, our pleasure,” Tessa returned her embrace. Ann and Rupert got out of the car as Emma grabbed Lexington’s carrier, she was asleep. “Is this your sister?” CJ asked. “Yes,” London laughed. “Does she sleep all the time?” Matthew smiled. “A lot, but that’s what babies do right?” London giggled. “Let’s grab your suit,” Harper said, “We have castles to make!” Emma and Tessa stood and watched as they ran inside, “Tessa, my God...they’re beautiful.” “Thanks, I can’t believe they’ve grown up so fast,” Tessa said looking towards the house. “How’s Collin?” Emma smiled. “Perfect,” Tessa smiled, “He should be here in two days. What’s going on with you and Brody Hines?” “I don’t know, it’s crazy. I just needed to get away for a while,” Emma tried to smile. “Troy’s filled me in, I hope you don’t mind,” Tessa grabbed a couple bags out of the car. “Of course not. It’s just a mess,” Emma felt tears coming, “But we’re here for fun and family.” “Emma we can chat when they go to bed, okay?” Tessa hugged her. Tessa and Emma sat on the deck and watched their children play. “CJ and Matthew are going to be seniors this year, its crazy. Harper’s going to be a junior and London will be nine?” Tessa smiled. “Yep, and now we have Lexington,” Emma started to cry, “Sorry.” “No Emma, don’t be sorry,” Tessa held her hand. “I love her so much but I really can’t believe that I trusted him and chose this. Troy’s much better now – he’s great with London, and even Lexington while Brody was…gone. I just hate that Lexington will never have what London did.” “Do you love Brody, Emma?” Tessa asked. “More than I thought possible,” Emma said wiping her tears. “Okay. You know Lexington’s as much a part of this family as London right?” Tessa smiled. “Thank you.” “And you know that you are as well?” “Thank you,” Emma smiled. They watched as Harper ran up the beach to them, “Hey Aunt Emma, can I take Lexington down?” Emma smiled and nodded her head yes. “They’re wonderful, your kids,” Emma smiled to Tessa, “I love that they call me Aunt.” “Well you are their Aunt Emma. Sort of, I mean technically I guess their cousin, but I guess it seems
more comfortable for them to think of you as an Aunt,” Tessa laughed, “Because we’re so old.” They laughed, “Hey what’s up with the heavy?” “Oh that’s Rupert, my security team” Emma laughed, “Weird huh?” “Yes, we had one for a while as well. He’s traveling with Collin. Things were really rough when we started,” Tessa laughed, “A boy with a past.” “I know all about that,” Emma smiled, “Does it get better? I mean why don’t you have someone here?” “It gets better. Tomas needs to be with Collin when he travels, I feel better about it. And did you see my boys? Little men and Harper can out shoot them both,” Tessa laughed. “I should unpack,” Emma smiled and started to stand. “Already done ma’am,” Rupert said and both Tessa and Emma jumped, “Ann’s on it.” “Ann?” Tessa whispered. “Housekeeper, she’s amazing,” Emma smiled. “Most Ann’s are. This was my Aunt Ann’s house. She was the best,” Tessa smiled looking at the house. They spent the next few days relaxing and talking. Neither Emma nor Tessa had to worry about lifting a finger — between their housekeepers they got to enjoy the kids and each other. They sat on the deck looking at the stars. Tessa jumped when Rupert stormed out of the house, “Hands up!” “Hey no, no...this is…” Emma began. “I suggest you drop that fucking gun,” Tomas said behind Rupert. “Wow hold on, Collin when did you get home?” Tessa smiled. “Rupert, this is Tessa’s husband and I assume Tomas,” Emma explained. “Holy shit,” Tessa laughed. “Tessa, telling me there was security here may have been a good idea,” Collin scolded. “Oh really? Telling me you would be home early would have been as well,” Tessa stomped. Collin smiled and grabbed her, “God I’ve missed you.” Emma giggled as she watched them kiss, “Tomas — hi. This is Rupert and his wife Ann’s in the house with the kids.” “Thank you ma’am,” Tomas excused himself and Rupert followed him. “I am SO sorry,” Emma said looking at Collin. Collin looked at her, “Do you need help Emma?” “I have help thank you,” Emma said looking down. Tessa watched Collin give Tomas a look and Tomas nodded. “Really?” Tessa smiled at Collin. “Of course, really,” he looked her up and down and closed his eyes. “I’m going to head to bed,” Emma excused herself. “The kids asleep?” Collin asked. “Yes,” Tessa’s breath hitched. “Good, to the basement beautiful,” Collin said and dragged Tessa behind him. *** “Daddy!” London cheered as Troy walked out to the beach. “Hey baby girl,” Troy picked her up and swung her around. “Ma’am, did you know he was coming?” Rupert appeared behind Emma. “Yes, I invited him.” “Your husband’s called several times. He wants to know where you are,” Rupert looked at Emma. Emma smiled at Tessa, “Will you excuse me?”
“Em?” Brody answered the phone. “Hi,” she said softly. “Where are you?” Brody snapped. “I told you…” Emma started. “Where? I can’t trace your whereabouts and see that London’s gadgets are sitting here so I can’t even ask her!” He yelled. “What? You what!” Emma snapped. “Don’t you act like I’m doing something wrong, Emma!” Brody yelled, “Your parents haven’t even heard from you in days!” “That’s right! I needed a break, I told you that. All you need to know is…” Emma began. “Fuck that Emma! I need to know where you are!” Brody screamed and Emma held the phone away from her ear. “I’ll be back in a couple days,” Emma’s voice quivered, “Brody…please understand.” Emma hung up the phone and turned and saw Rupert, “He tracks my phone!” “Yes ma’am but I fixed it,” Rupert smiled. Emma was shocked, “You smiled!” Rupert suddenly looked uncomfortable, “No,” he said as he walked out the door. Emma walked outside and saw Tomas and Rupert talking. And then she saw Tessa laugh and Collin scowled at Tessa. “Everything okay?” Tessa giggled. “No,” Emma sat down and looked up and let out a breath. “Its fine, you’re safe…” Tessa began. “Tessa,” Collin warned. Tessa rolled her eyes and Matthew chuckled. “Aunt Emma, life’s crazy, but we’re very cool here. Can I take Lexi?” Matthew smiled. “Sure.” “Emma, I have a tendency to overstep…” Collin began, Harper and CJ laughed. “Tendency?” Tessa laughed. “Please excuse us, kids, and Tessa…if you can’t hold it together…” Collin began. “Uh oh,” Harper giggled. “Watch it Collin,” Tessa warned. Collin and Tessa glared at each other and CJ and Harper walked away laughing. Emma looked confused, “I’m sorry I don’t understand.” “I looked into your husband’s background. I know that whatever seems to be going on is bigger than you seem to be privy to. You and your children are family and safe here. I’m trying to stop my natural tendency to…” Collin was interrupted by Tessa’s giggle, “Tessa if you need to take a minute to get yourself together…” “Screw you,” Tessa laughed. “Really?” Collin asked looking into her eyes. Emma watched her face turn crimson as Collin continued to look at her. Tessa swallowed hard, “Fine I will,” Tessa stood up and walked away. Collin smiled and watched her and then turned back to Emma, “Any help you need we’re here.” “Thank you,” Emma looked down. “Of course,” Collin patted her shoulder and looked up at Tessa standing on the deck. Collin smiled and Tessa shook her head returning his smile and walked in the house and he followed. Troy sat next to Emma, “How are you Emma?” “Ok.”
“Well if you want to talk to me about anything at all you can, alright?” Troy hugged her. “Smile!” London took a picture with Emma’s phone. Emma and Troy laughed and London took another picture. Tessa and Collin came outside, “I hope you’re up for company?” “Whose coming Tessa?” Troy laughed. “Well Jade and her family and Lucas and his. Kendall and Ben will be stopping by as well,” Tessa looked at Collin and laughed. “You really okay with all that Collin?” Troy laughed. “Of course,” he rolled his eyes at Tessa and they both laughed. “When?” Troy smiled. “A couple hours,” Tessa grinned. “It’ll be great to see them all outside of Doe camp,” Troy got up and walked towards London who was starting yet another sand castle, “But first, another castle to build.” *** London was exhausted and Lexi was falling asleep. Emma laid down with them and read a story and fell asleep with them. “Emma,” Troy whispered as he picked Lexington off the bed and laid her in the portable crib. “What time is it?” she asked rubbing her eyes. “Ten, go back to sleep, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and that Lexington wasn’t going to fall off the bed,” Troy smiled. Emma stood up and covered London, Troy put his finger to his lips, “Shh.” They walked out the door and smiled at each other. “Everyone is getting in the hot tub next door, Tessa’s friends are here. Want to come?” Troy asked as he grabbed his shirt and lifted it over his head. “Sure,” Emma looked down. Troy lifted her chin so she was looking at him, “You okay?” “Yes…yes, I’m…fine. I’ll be right back,” Emma started to turn and heard Troy snicker. She looked back at him and he grinned, “Jesus Emma, we were married for over ten years, and you’re blushing.” “No I’m not,” she walked into the room and put on her suit and walked out. Troy looked her up and down. “What?” she asked. “You look great.” “Thanks,” she walked past him. She heard him suck in a breath and turned around, “Jesus Troy, we were married for over ten years, and you’re gasping?” They both laughed, “You look amazing.” “And you have been working out, huh?” Emma smiled. “Yeah, gotta get back in the game Emma. Damn, London’s parents are fine,” he laughed and put his arm around her shoulder. They walked up onto Tessa’s deck and Lucas was walking out of the house, “Hey Troy how’s it going?” “Good how have you been? It’s been ages,” Troy hugged him. “Yeah, ages,” Lucas laughed, “Emma right?” “Yes hello Lucas, nice to see you.” “You two back together?” Lucas asked as he sat down in the hot tub.
“No, just friends. We have a daughter so we’ll always be friends, huh Emma?” Troy smiled and held her hand as she stepped into the hot tub. “Yes, thank you,” she sat and looked at Tessa, “Where’s Jade?” “Oh she’s sick, so they won’t be able to make it,” Tessa smiled, “She said to give you a hug.” “She won’t be here?” Ashley gasped. “Nope,” Tessa smiled. “Well we should leave then, I mean…” Ashley began. “NO! God Ashley you’re welcome anytime,” Tessa splashed her. “Hey beautiful,” Collin kissed Tessa’s head as he sat down. “Hey,” Tessa grinned at him and he pulled her to him. “Do you two ever stop?” They heard from behind them. “Ben?” Troy stood and shook his hand, “Where’s my cousin?” “Hey everyone,” Kendall jumped in making a splash. “Shit turn this up, this is a great tune, deep...” Ben said reaching over and turning up the music and started singing along. “Who is this?” Ashley asked and smiled. “It’s Brody Hines, Mom,” Ava said walking out on the deck. “What are you doing awake kiddo?” Lucas smiled at his daughter. “I don’t know…this song, his voice, he’s so hot,” Ava laughed. “Ava,” Ashley scolded. “What — you think so too. He’s the one I showed you online, the one who came back from the dead,” Ava giggled. “Oh him?” Ashley giggled. “Oh him?” Lucas splashed Ashley and then Ava, “You encouraging that Ash, come on.” Tessa laughed, “Yeah, a sixteen year old girl should not be ogling a rock star.” “I could ogle something attainable Daddy,” Ava smirked. “Not funny Ava,” Lucas scowled. “I’m just joking, I’ll be a saint like you were,” Ava hugged him. Ben laughed out loud and Tessa scowled at him, “What Tess?” “How is my niece, Ben?” Tessa laughed. “Fine,” he scowled. “So tell me about the rock star whose making you act like a…” Lucas looked at Ava. “He’s beautiful,” Ava smiled. “Hey none of you have met Emma yet,” Tessa laughed. “Oh sorry I should have introduced you, I mean Ashley and Ava don’t know Emma yet. Emma, Ava and Ashley Links, Ava and Ashley, my ex-wife Emma, Emma Hines,” Troy said and tried to smile. “Nice to meet you,” Ava smiled, “So bad Brody was gone for almost a year and his wife...” Ava began. Troy cleared his throat and Emma looked down, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her head to his shoulder and kissed it, “You okay Emma?” “Get your hands off my wife!” They all turned and looked. “Oh my God!” Ava gasped. Emma jumped up, “Brody, what are you doing here?” “I don’t know Em, what are you doing?” he sneered. Rupert ran out the door, “Ma’am Brody’s…” “One step ahead of you, which is very unnerving, Em, a minute please?” Brody said extending his hand.
“Excuse me please,” Emma stood. “Emma, you don’t have to do this,” Troy stood. “Mind your business,” Brody warned Troy. Collin stood and looked for Tomas who nodded to him. “Brody, I’m Collin, nice to meet you,” Collin extended his hand. Brody looked at him and arched his brow and shook his hand firmly. “This is my wife Tessa, Troy’s cousin. The two of them have been hanging out all week with the kids, your daughter’s beautiful,” Collin smiled, “Troy just got here this morning and so did Lucas, Ashley, Ava, and Logan Links. Ben, Kendall and our niece just arrived. If you would like to join us feel free.” “I would like a moment with my wife,” Brody said trying to keep calm. “I understand, I just flew in yesterday. We’ll be here when you’re done talking,” Collin smiled. *** “Do you think you could put some fucking clothes on Em?!” Brody snapped. Emma’s lip began to quiver and she looked up at him and tears started to form in her eyes. “Why did you come?” Emma whispered. Brody continued looking down at her and his face softened. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. “You’re going back to him Em?” He asked softly. Emma wiped away tears, “No,” was all she could manage to say. “What was that then Em? I’m not stupid, so don’t try to bullshit me,” he scowled. “Your song came on, the girl,Ava, was going on about you, apparently he thought I was affected by it and he hugged me Brody...a friendly gesture,” Emma wiped more tears and walked in and grabbed a tee shirt and shorts and pulled them over her bathing suit. Emma turned and watched as Brody looked down at Lexington, “I saw photos of the two of you. He was holding my child. London emailed them to herself from your phone. You have to tell me the truth, Em. Don’t play games with me, I’m not as strong as you.” Brody kissed Lexington and walked to London and did the same. He took Emma’s hand gently and kissed it, “I miss them Em, and I miss you.” He released her hand and started walking out the door. “Wait…” Emma panicked. She walked out the door and shut it behind her. “Yes Em,” Brody turned around and she saw tears in his eyes. Emma walked up to him and wiped his tears and he held her hands tightly to his face and let out a breath. Emma began to cry and he hugged her tightly. “Don’t shut me out Emma,” he kissed her lips softly and walked down the stairs. She ran down after him, “Where are you going?” “Back,” Brody said clearing his throat. “You came all this way? For what Brody? To see if you could still hurt me?” Emma screamed. Brody turned around quickly and stormed towards her, “No Emma, not to hurt you. To make sure you’re okay, to make sure they’re okay. This is not a fucking game!” “You knew I was!” She snapped. “No Em I didn’t, you won’t take my calls, and you’ve made sure I don’t know where you are. I did not know. I do now. You’re safe and getting along just fucking fine without me. I on the other hand have not been able to fucking think straight which truly isn’t a good thing right now. But you can’t just trust me when that’s all I have asked of you!” Brody walked out the door and towards the car. “That’s all you have asked of me?” Emma screamed, “That’s all? Fuck you, Brody!” He turned and looked confused and angry, “Don’t push me Em. I’ve told you I do not play games. And
this, Love, is not a GOD DAMN GAME!” “Everything okay Emma?” Tessa asked walking towards the parking lot. “No it’s not,” Emma sobbed into her hands. Tessa looked at Brody and shook her head. “Tessa, come on,” Collin said walking out the door towards them. Brody walked towards the car, “I apologize.” “Where are you going?” Emma screamed and ran towards him. “Em,” Brody warned. She grabbed his shirt and shook him, “What are you trying to prove!” He grabbed her and opened the car door and set her in and shut it behind her and walked to the other side. “What the…” Tessa walked towards him and Collin grabbed her. “I just need a few moments with her. Rupert, is Ann with the children?” Brody asked. “Yes sir,” he answered. Brody opened the door and slid into the car. “Clive unlock the door,” Emma pounded on the window and Brody grabbed her. “Stop Em,” he held her tightly. “Don’t, my God Brody I hate…” Emma screamed, “Let me go!” “I will but you can’t get out when you’re like this,” Brody tried to calm her. “You did this! Is this what you came here for! Is this what you wanted to see, how far you could push me?” Emma sobbed. “No, I didn’t know where you were, I didn’t plan this Em. I needed to know you were…” Brody started. “And how does it feel? How does it feel to wonder Brody? I know how it feels!” Emma sneered, “The difference is I have to be strong for three people, three Brody! Like I have for a year now! You promised me before I caved into giving you her and then this? I can’t fucking believe I have to do this alone AGAIN! But this is worse Brody, I never would have had another, you liar!” Emma sobbed. Brody sat back and looked down and let her cry, when she finished he handed her a tissue. “You regret our child Em? I can’t understand how I could have thought you wanted this too. I will…” Brody sounded disgusted. “FUCK YOU!” She tried to open the door and he pulled her back. “Oh no, let’s hash this out. I’ve loved your child from day one Emma and you are…unbelievable,” he sighed. Emma slapped him hard across the face, “Don’t you dare. Don’t you EVER …” “What do you expect Emma! What would you expect I think when you say something like that? I will ask one thing from you and that’s all, take care of her. When I’m ready I will rid you of the burden. I will take care of OUR child!” Brody caught her hand. “Not a chance in hell! You sick bastard! LET ME OUT!” Emma screamed. “When I’m finished,” he sat back and took a deep breath, “I’m leaving for London in three days. I should only be gone for a week. I would like visitation with MY child for a day or two.” “No,” Emma said and crossed her arms in front of her. Brody gasped, “Excuse me?” “I said no,” Emma glared at him. “Emma care to explain?” Brody said cautiously. “Take me to court and open the fucking door,” Emma sat forward, “I’m waiting.” “As am I, visitation Em,” Brody looked at her anxiously. “Why are you going?”
“That’s none of your …you don’t need to know,” Brody answered slowly. “Okay, this is the way I see it…” Emma stopped. “Do go on Emma,” Brody raised his eyebrow. “Well, if you want to see her take me to court. We’re separated and I have sole custody,” Emma’s voice broke, “And you probably won’t come back anyway, so why bother? Why put her through that? She hasn’t seen you in over a week anyway…” “Em, that wasn’t my call,” Brody leaned forward, “I will come back.” Brody wiped a tear away from her face and she closed her eyes. “Then when you come back you can see her,” Emma sat back and sighed, “Please Brody open the door.” “You look tired Em,” he whispered. Emma huffed, “A little.” “Me too, please come home, I want to spend time with the girls, all of you before I leave,” Brody let out a slow breath. “Goodnight Brody, have a safe trip,” Emma tried to open the door, “Please.” Brody pulled her into his arms and she didn’t fight it. She couldn’t fight the way her body craved his ouch. She couldn’t fight the way she felt safe when his arms surrounded her. She was scared as hell that she may never feel this again. The man she loves embrace. He was leaving again and she was terrified she may never see him again, “Stay...please Brody.” He pulled her head back and kissed her. “Em, I love you,” he whispered against her lips. “Stay Brody,” she plead. Brody kissed her tears away and opened the door and got out and extended his hand helping her out. Brody watched as Tessa and Collin walked back into their home. Brody followed Emma to the beach and they sat and held each other, no words spoken. Just their bodies entangled sitting on the beach. Emma began to fall asleep and he kissed her and stood up and pulled her up. “Will you stay?” “Is that what you want Emma?” “More than anything. I love you.” “Then I will,” he took her hand and they walked into the house. *** “That’s him?” Harper asked. “Yeah that’s him, he is SO hot,” Ava gushed. *** Brody woke in the morning when London ran into the room and jumped on the bed, “Good morning!” “Good morning to you,” he smiled and hugged her tightly. “Brody…you’re…squishing…me,” London exaggerated and he laughed, “Mom and Dad have breakfast ready!” “Sounds great, I’ll be down in a flash,” he smiled. Brody stood up and looked at the portable crib and took a deep breath. He showered and brushed his teeth with Emma’s tooth brush and found a sweatshirt of his she had packed causing him to smile. “There he is,” he heard a whisper when he walked down the stairs. He looked at Emma who rolled her eyes and nodded to the two teenage girls.
“Good morning,” he smiled. London grabbed his hand and marched him to the table and plopped down on his lap, “Brody, this is my cousin Harper and her friend Ava. Guys this is my step father Brody Hines, yes that one the rock star, but once you get to know him he’s pretty boring,” London exaggerated pretty boring in a thick English accent that made everyone laugh. Emma walked over and sat a plate in front of him, he grabbed her hand, “Good morning, Love.” He pulled her down and kissed her. “Good morning,” she smiled. “Where’s Lexington?” he asked softly. “She’s out on the deck with CJ and Matthew my cousins, oh and Logan,” London rolled her eyes. “Oh I see, Logan,” he mimicked her and rolled his eyes, “A friend of yours.” “NO! Yuck!” she gasped, “He’s a boy Brody!” Brody laughed and Troy walked in with Lexington, Brody looked up at him and tried not to let his temper get the best of him. “Dadadada!” Lexington screeched. “I’ll take mine and you can have this monster,” Troy smiled and handed her to Brody. Emma walked over and nudged Brody, “Thank you Troy,” Brody took Lexi. “Come on London, we have castles to build and shells to find,” Troy scooped her up and carried her outside as she laughed. Brody watched as they walked out and London stuck her tongue out at the boy who must be Logan. Logan winked at her and one of the older boys smacked him in the back of the head. Brody laughed. Emma looked at him strangely, “What?” “The older two boys are her cousins?” He asked and took a bite of his breakfast. “Yes why?” Emma looked confused. “I like them,” he smiled and took a drink, “I like you.” Brody pulled her down and kissed her hard on the mouth and stood up, “Let’s take Lexi upstairs.” Emma turned red and looked towards the girls who were chuckling. “I would like to take her,” Ava grinned. “No she’s fine thank you,” Emma smiled at the girl and scowled at Brody. “Sorry Love, I didn’t see them,” he whispered. “How did you not?” “One track mind, you’re here, nothing else matters,” he kissed her quickly on the cheek. “Alright Lexi change of plans, you and I are going to work on crawling today and walking tomorrow.” “Brody she’s…” Emma began. “Old enough to crawl, I’ve had some free time Em, did some reading. First crawling and then walking and then eating real food,” he smiled as he talked to her. “We can help,” Harper smiled. Emma laughed, “Baby boot camp for you Lexi. But first I think you can eat.” Emma opened the cereal and mixed in applesauce, “Let’s try this with Daddy here.” “First time Em?” He smiled. “Applesauce yes,” she laughed. “Good, may I?” “Of course,” Emma handed him the spoon. “Can you get London, I want her to be part of this,” he smiled at Emma. “She’s with Troy,” Emma laughed. Brody looked at her and his face fell, “Then we wait.” Emma looked confused, “If it’s important I guess I can.”
London came in and smiled, “Thank you for waiting for me.” London hoped on his lap and he handed her the spoon, “You want to do the first bite?” “Yes,” London beamed. “Wait, wait, wait,” Emma ran down the stairs with the video camera, “Okay go ahead.” Lexington opened her mouth and swallowed and then opened it again when the first bite was in her mouth. “You like it, huh?” Brody laughed and Lexington giggled. “She loves it,” London clapped. *** Emma and Brody lay Lexi down. She’d fallen asleep after baby boot camp. “She’s crawling now,” Brody kissed her head. “And eating something other than rice cereal,” Emma smiled. Brody looked up at his wife’s beaming face, “You look lovely, Em.” Emma stopped smiling, “Oh.” Brody took her hands and kissed them, “I love you, I love the girls, both of them. I’m not leaving you Em.” “Good, please don’t,” Emma kissed him and he groaned and pulled away slowly. “Em, it’s been awhile,” Brody’s breaths became heavy and his eyes were hooded. Emma kissed him again and he moaned into her mouth, she pushed her breasts against him and he shook slightly. He pulled his body away slightly and she pulled him against her and kissed down his neck. “Emma, God...slow Love, please.” Brody groaned and she pushed him on the bed, straddled him, and pulled her shirt off. “You’re so sexy,” he sat up and took her breast in his mouth and she let out a muzzled moan. She pulled his hair back and leaned over him and slowly stroking his tongue with hers she breathed against his cheek and shuttered slightly. Emma pulled his shirt over his head and then unsnapped her bra and leaned into him, “Em, we should…” Emma stood up and pulled her shorts and underwear off, she pulled him up and unbuttoned his pants as he tried to catch his breath, “Em…” Emma put her fingers over this mouth and traced his bottom lip, with her finger she pushed him down and turned her back to him and sat on his lap with her legs bent under her, she brought his left hand to her breast and his right between her legs, as he rubbed her gently her hips circled him and he breathed into her neck and ran his tongue down it, she let out a moan. She took him in her hand and rubbed him against her, she heard his breath hitch. He kissed down her neck and pulled her hair back so that she was looking up at him. His tongue traced her lower lip as she lifted herself and slowly eased herself onto him, she moaned into his mouth. Brody groaned as she filled herself with him, “Oh…my…God.” He pushed her hips forward and back with one hand and rubbed her clit with the other. She began to feel the burn and ground her hips deeper into him. Emma rested her hands on her knees and pushed into him until she came. Brody stood up and threw a blanket over the portable crib covering it, he turned to Emma who lay on the bed trying to catch her breath. He took her hand and pulled her up into a seated position and kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he squeezed her ass tightly and lifted her up wrapping her legs around him as he walked into the closet and closed the door. “I love you,” he said before pushing her into the wall and buried himself inside her and she began to yell out his name. He covered her mouth with his as he continued nailing her into the closet door.
“I love you, Brody,” she whispered. She stayed wrapped around him as he kissed her again. “I love you, more.” Brody sat down on the floor in the closet with her on his lap, “You tired, Em?” “No Brody, I’m happy,” she kissed him and held her head snuggly against his neck. *** Brody and Emma sat in the sand playing with London and Lexi. Troy watched as they laughed and kissed often. London loved him and he treated her no different than he did his child with Emma. “Are you okay with all this?” Tessa asked Troy. “It’s certainly interesting sober,” Troy laughed, “No, Tessa...even though it’s been over a year, I still love her, you know?” “I can see that,” Tessa patted his leg. “You moved on,” Troy smiled. “I did, like…a hundred years ago. It wasn’t meant to be,” Tessa smiled. “Yeah, I remember,” Troy laughed. “You really have to leave tonight?” Tessa asked. “I should have left this morning, I want to tuck my little monkey in bed before I go,” Troy smiled. “Hey – you’re absolutely amazing with her,” Tessa smiled. “I missed seven years Tessa, I never realized how much you could possibly love someone until her. She’s funny and smart and absolutely beautiful,” Troy smiled at London. Brody walked up to the house, “Troy, might I have a moment?” “Sure, what’s up?” Troy asked. “Excuse me a moment,” Tessa walked towards Collin smiling from ear to ear. “I…I guess I don’t know exactly how to say this however it must be said. I never liked you,” Brody said scowling down. Troy laughed out loud and Brody smiled and ran his hands through his hair and sat back. “That obvious, huh?” he asked smiling. “On both our parts I think,” Troy smiled. “Well I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have judged you. I know you were there for Em and Lexi while I was gone. I know now how much you love London,” he paused, “I hope that someday we might be friends.” “Sure Brody,” Troy smiled and stuck out his hand and shook Brody’s. “You treat my little girl just like you treat Lexi, and I appreciate that.” “That child is wise beyond her years. She’s literally one of the funniest people I’ve ever met,” Brody smiled as he talked about London, “I couldn’t have ever dreamed of a better step daughter or sister for my own daughter.” “Alright then, we’re good?” Troy smiled. “Yes. Troy if anything ever happens to me, I would want you to…” Brody began. “You don’t even have to say it, I adore your little one. So let’s make a deal. No more awkward moments about them, they’re family. If you look around here all of these people are, Lexi’s and your family as well,” Troy stood and Brody did as well. Brody stuck out his hand and Troy pulled him into a bear hug. Brody laughed as he saw London running towards them, “No way!” “Yes way, London,” Troy scooped her up, “We’re all your family.” “Hey Mom get the camera, we’re having a moment over here.” London yelled.
CHAPTER EIGHT We left Tessa’s late and the kids fell asleep in the car so I tucked London into her bed as Brody rocked and sang to Lexi. Emma stood in the doorway watching him rub Lexi’s back as he softly hum a song she hasn’t heard yet. It was a soft sweet tune, it was beautiful. Brody was beautiful and every time she looked at him she couldn’t help but wonder what she could have possibly done to catch the eye of the man who millions of women, and even girls as young as Harper and Ava gushed over. She couldn’t blame them not with him being over six foot tall with those piercing eyes and beautiful hair…he was stunning. Couple that with his lips, perfectly square jaw, lean muscular body, he was more beautiful than any man she’d ever laid eyes on. Now if he smiled that sexy half smile as he peered through his long black lashes, well, that could make you combust without even so much as a touch. If they only knew about that mouth. Emma closed her eyes and licked her dry lips, lost in thought. *** Brody lay Lexi down and turned and saw her and carefully walked towards her so that he didn’t disturb her from whatever she was thinking. He kissed her neck and her breath hitched, he pulled back and looked at her face. Her eyes were still closed and her face was red, “Love, what are you thinking?” Brody whispered as he kissed her again. “Shh,” she smiled, “Please don’t disturb me, I have the most amazing vision in my head.” “Oh really?” he kissed her neck again. “Uh huh,” she smiled with her eyes closed. “Open your eyes, Em,” he lightly bit her neck and Emma opened her eyes. “Tell me what has you so flushed and peaking.” Emma opened her eyes, “Thank God.” Brody looked at her curiously. “Still dreaming,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Brody smiled as he pulled back and held her face, “I love you, Em.” “I love you,” Emma nuzzled her face into his hands and he kissed her. Brody lifted Emma’s legs around him as she kissed his neck and cheek. He walked into their room and gently placed her on the bed and climbed on top of her. He held her face between his hands and looked into her eyes, “Always Em. Promise me always.” Emma smiled, “And forever Brody. Always and forever.” Brody pulled her nightgown up as he kissed her. His hands ran slowly up her side and they lightly caressed her breasts. He pushed his pants down and then pulled her panties aside and rubbed himself slowly up and down her wetness. He carefully, slowly entered her, “This okay Em?” “Yes,” she whimpered as his mouth kissed up her neck and down and up her jaw until their lips met. His tongue mimicked his slow deep thrust. He kissed her gently as he made love to her slowly. Her body had taken all it could and he finally finished. She went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. When she came out he wasn’t in the room. Her heart began to race and she felt anxious. She walked out the door and ran into him and hugged him tightly. “Em, you okay?” He asked lifting her chin. “I thought you…yes I’m fine,” she hugged him tighter. “Okay, shall we get some rest?” He asked kissing the top of her head.
Emma woke several times during the night and held him tighter each time. “You’re awake,” she said each time. “Em, sleep love,” he kissed her. Brody knew she wasn’t sleeping well and rubbed her back gently until she finally drifted asleep. Emma woke one last time and smiled at him, “I love you.” “I love you more, so much more,” he said in barely a whisper. *** “Mommy,” London climbed onto the bed all smiles. “Good morning,” Emma hugged her tightly and stretched. “You taking me to school?” London smiled. “Sure thing, wow Brody let me sleep in way too late,” Emma smiled, “Quick shower and I’ll be right down.” London and Ann stood in the kitchen, “Ann, let Brody know I’ll be right back.” Emma flew out the door and took London to school. London talked the entire time about how much fun she had at the Cape. They laughed and looked at all the pictures taken over their vacation. “Hey Mom, Brody told me to give you this,” London handed her an envelope and ran into school. Emma opened the envelope and read, Em, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed the past few days with you and the girls. My heart is full and I hope yours is as well. As I mentioned I need to take a short trip to England. It can’t be eluded any longer. I understand you may be a bit angry about saying see you soon this way, and I apologize. I, however...prefer to remember my wife smiling at me as she’s wrapped in my arms after a wonderful three days together. The hurt I presume that’s set in your eyes at this moment would truly crush me. Writing this letter is just as hard. However this way we can avoid the tears and hurtful words that we’ve shared in the past when we must be apart. You are my life Emma, my world. These are not just words Emma they are truths. I promise I will return, I promise you are irreplaceable. I promise I will forever love you. You and those precious little girls are more important to me Emma then my next breath. Not just now as I write to you but Always….and Forever, these words have not and will never cross my lips unfilled. You are my everything. Always and Forever. I am yours, Brody
Emma grabbed her phone from her purse, she wanted to call him, scream at him, and tell him he was a coward, anything but cry. She looked at it, there was a message from Brody. - I love you Em. With your heart love, please with your heart. Yours MM She threw her phone across the car looking out the window she cried. *** “Welcome back Brody Hines,” Matt smiled. “Thank you Matt.” “New single out today huh?” “Yes, that’s why I’m here,” Brody smiled slightly. “So how are things at home?” “Well it’s been a bit of an adjustment,” Brody forced a smile. “I bet, and how’s your daughter?” “Perfect, just like her sister.”
“Anything else you care to share, your separation, what’s that about?” Matt asked and sat back bracing himself. Brody looked up at him and his expression was blank, “What are most about Matt?” “Is it a step towards a divorce or just a break to get back on track?” “Well we’re not like most and it’s none of your fucking business,” Brody said through his teeth. The network’s five second delay came in handy that day. Brody stood and started to walk off stage. “Hey Hines, I’m just doing my fucking job,” Matt stormed after him, he was bleeped out as well and the TV went blank momentarily. After the commercial break, Brody was on stage with his band. “Welcome back everyone, here’s The Brody Hines Band,” the woman anchor announced, as Matt and Brody continued glaring at one another the band started playing. Brody leaned into his stool as he played the guitar. Mistakes, mistaken the flashes that burned Inside dying slowly, absorbing, secretly denying I can’t stand back, from the suns warmth I learned With her warmth and her glow the strength builds to burst, Desiring nothing but to fill, quench her thirst. Blue turns to red, the fire so hot, can’t turn back now cannot stop Soaring through fog towards the sun’s warmth a desire turns to need give me but a drop The pain incredible, undeniable, insane. Each day filled with clouds bitterness and rain. Blue turns to Red, each drop spilled like wine, Dulling the senses boggling my mind. Blue turns to Red yet I seek it still Wanting and needing for her warmth to fill. The picture more distorted like photos close fire Yet try to make it come clear in the minds desire. On more drop, one more flash, the sun’s warmth creeps through the blackened hole, Days to weeks, weeks to months almost a year, not enough for the emptiness in my soul. The sun finds the clouds have been pushed away, Seeking and searching for its way to stay. Shining so hot it enters my breath, Filling completely the emptiness in a heart near death. The crack the pain the darkness that follow Made strong enough to step back and swallow. The Phoenix to the Sun Warmth I will seek until it’s all done Blue turned to Red Hear all what I’ve said I am back from the dead. Blue turned to Red I am back from the dead.
The crowd cheered loudly as Brody looked sternly into the camera and let out a breath and then down. He set his guitar down and finally looked up and smiled and waved to the crowd. “Thank you,” he bowed slightly. “What’s up next for you Brody?” The woman anchor asked grinning, obviously smitten with him. “Well I’m going to take a break for a bit.” “What? We have a tour,” Oliver gasped. “You all go ahead, I’m sure Zach willing to fill in, I need to clear my head,” Brody smiled and walked
off stage. “Brody what the fuck are you doing?” Lila grabbed his arm. “Lila, I’m taking off for a bit, to take care of my girls,” he walked to the car and got in with Clive. Brody grabbed his phone and sent a text to Emma. - Em…trust no one, you’re the only one aside from Clive who knows where I’m going. I mean this Emma as much as I mean it when I say I love you Always and Forever. Trust no one. Delete this message…Yours MM His phone immediately rang and he ignored his call. Clive’s phone rang and he answered. “Clive let me talk to him now!” Emma snapped. “I’m sorry ma’am I’m unable to… “I’m on my way to the airport now,” Emma shouted. His phone rang. “Ma’am he won’t be there, it’s important, no one can know,” Clive said calmly. “LET ME TALK TO HIM!” she screamed. Brody sat in the back listening to her over the speaker. “Ma’am…” Clive began. “Don’t ma’am me damn it!” Emma shouted. “Emma you need to shut up and calm the fuck down,” Clive snapped. “Excuse me?” Emma gasped. “Shall I repeat that?” Clive asked. “Shall I kick your…Clive put him on the damn phone,” she growled. Clive looked in the rear view mirror and Brody smirked. Clive pushed mute, “Do you want to fucking handle this?” “No you’re doing great,” Brody tried not to laugh, “Did you hear her growl? Fucking sexy.” “You’re an asshole,” Emma’s voice rang through the speaker, “You have to hold the mute button, how about reading that manual Clive.” Clive gasped, “Sorry ma’am.” “BRODY!” Emma yelled. “Yes love,” he said with a smile in his voice. “COME HOME NOW!” She screamed. “I can’t Em, trust me...just trust me,” he said softly. “No…no I don’t,” Emma began. “Emma please, kind words and trust. I can’t take it otherwise and I need your strength now…” Brody said softly. “Then don’t, whatever it is don’t!” Emma sat and waited. “Em I’m not going to have my phone but I’ll text often from different lines, you’ll know it’s me. Clive’s going to be unreachable as well. This is going to make things better for all of us. I love you, please don’t argue with me just trust me. I. Love. You.” *** The phone went dead and Emma sat and sobbed. “Where the hell is he going Emma?” Lila’s voice came through the phone. “I have no idea,” Emma said softly. “I’m going to go into labor over your asshole husband!” Lila snapped. “I’m sorry, Lila please calm down and know there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it,” Emma
whispered. “I’m sorry are you okay?” Lila asked. “I have to be,” Emma said softly. Emma called Brody’s phone again, he didn’t answer, “I know you’ve made up your mind, but I need you Brody. Lexi’s needs you and so does London,” Emma paused and took several deep breaths, “I love you more Brody. I love you more.” Emma hung up the phone and sobbed. *** They pulled into the school to pick up London. She slowly opened the door, “Are you mad at him Mom?” London asked. “Who honey?” she asked and smiled. “Brody. He said you might be mad but he would make it okay like he always does,” London smiled up at her. “No not mad,” Emma smiled and hugged her. “Disappointed then right?” “Well I suppose…a little,” Emma smiled, “But it’ll be alright.” “Can we do something fun this weekend?” “We sure can, what were you thinking?” Emma smiled. “The lake,” London smiled. Emma took a deep breath, “Alright, sounds good.” “Can Daddy come?” “Yeah, it’s his weekend, if he would like he can come.” *** Troy pulled in and London ran out and hugged him, “Took you long enough.” He laughed and picked her up and swung her around. “Come on Dad,” she wiggled her way out of his arms. They walked in the house and London counted to three, “Happy Birthday!” Emma and London cheered and Lexi clapped. “Wow, I didn’t expect this, thank you,” Troy smiled. “We made cake Daddy!” London giggled. “How about…” Troy began. “And cookies, your favorite,” London clapped. “Mom make them?” he smiled. “I helped,” she put her hands on her hips. “Wow you made the cake and the cookies?” Troy winked at Emma. “And dinner, which by the way is going to get cold,” London dragged him to the table. *** - Things are taking longer than expected, Always and Forever, soon love…MM - Take your time I’m at the Lake with the girls and Troy…X Her phone rang immediately. “Are you intentionally antagonizing me?” his voice was harsh. “Wow, haven’t heard from you in a week and that’s what I get?” Emma snapped.
“And what did you expect!” he sneered quietly. “Maybe something along the lines of: ‘Hey Em, how’s my daughter?’ ‘Hey Em I can’t wait to come home I’ve been doing X Y and Z.’ Or maybe ‘Hey Em let’s move along with the divorce because you married an asshole’,” Emma snapped. “Are you getting back together with him?” Brody snarled. Emma laughed, “I can promise you I don’t move backward, once my mind’s set its set. Regardless of what else changes, when I’m done I’m done. And Brody right now I’m telling you…” “How’s my daughter, how’s London?” Brody whispered softly. Emma let out a breath, “We celebrated Troy’s birthday tonight, it was London’s idea. On Monday, five days ago Brody, she asked if we could come to the lake with it being Troy’s weekend we invited him. Lexington’s great and happy and causing all sorts of trouble, genetics I guess.” “Ok, and you Em, how are you?” Brody asked. “You don’t get to ask that, and I promise, you don’t want the answer. When will you be back in the States?” Emma asked. “I’m not positive yet, there’s a lot going on now Em…But when I come back I will be HOME, do you understand that?” “I understand that I married someone who gave me hope of something true and real. Who made me believe again, and who doesn’t trust me or believe in me,” Emma swallowed hard, “I hope whatever it is your searching for is enough for you, because apparently I’m…” “Em stop, I love you. I trust you, I believe in us. Please let the girls know I love them as well. Goodnight Em,” and he hung up. Emma sat a cried into her hands, she wanted to scream but if she did, she would wake them and scare them. She wanted to sleep, it had been a week and she couldn’t stay asleep at night, her heart ached, like it was empty and ready to implode. “Emma?” Troy put his hand on her shoulder. “Sorry,” she wiped away her tears. “Don’t be sorry, come here girl,” Troy sat next to her and held her as she cried. When she was finished, she sat up. “Sorry.” “Hell no — don’t be, I owe you this,” he smiled down at her and kissed her head, “You want to talk?” “I don’t know. You tore me apart with all your crap,” Emma slugged him in the stomach, “Either he’s a damn good liar or he loves me as much…” “Emma, I know you love him. Go on,” he smiled. “I fucking trust him Troy, I don’t feel like he’s out screwing around, but my God, am I going to feel stupid,” Emma laughed and so did Troy. “Well if it doesn’t work out you and I could hang out, I already know what stupid feels like, I’ll get you through it, I think I’m an expert,” Troy laughed. “I want you to love again Troy, you’re truly the man I knew you could be,” Emma smiled. Troy smiled, “When I do Emma, it’ll be because you taught me how.” Emma smiled and looked down and swallowed, “I’m going to head up to bed.” “You sure Emma, you don’t want the master suite?” Troy looked confused. “No, I’m going to sleep with Lexi, she’ll be up early and if I’m really lucky, she’ll snuggle with me for an hour longer so I may get six or seven hours of sleep,” Emma laughed. Troy stood up and pulled her up into his arms and hugged her, Emma smiled up at him and went to kiss him on the cheek as Troy tried to kiss hers and their lips met. Neither of them pulled away. Emma let out a breath and hugged him tightly around his neck and grabbed his face and kissed him harder. “Emma,” Troy groaned, “Baby, this isn’t what you want.” Emma pulled back and looked at him and started to cry.
“Now don’t do that,” Emma pulled away, “Stop and sit.” “No,” Emma started to walk away. Troy grabbed her and pulled her onto the couch and smiled, “Wow.” Emma hid her face in her hands. Troy started to laugh, “It’s not funny Troy.” “You’re so pissed at him right now,” Troy said rubbing her back. “No I’m pissed at you right now,” Emma said softly. “Why’s that Emma?” Troy lifted her chin so their eyes met. “Because…because you’re right. What the hell did I just do?” Emma started to cry again. “Tried to disappear, to stop the shit flying through your head,” Troy explained. “Is that why you…” Emma stopped. “Yes, you took care of everything, spoiled my ass Emma. I took you for granted. He’s doing the same thing and you just…you’re hurt Emma,” Troy explained “I’m such a slut,” Emma whispered and Troy laughed out loud. “It’s really not funny.” “You are far from a slut, God Emma — you made me wait two years, how long did you make him wait?” he laughed. Emma looked up at him and frowned. “Wow, that bad huh, you can’t even tell me? You ARE a slut,” Troy looked at her and Emma gasped, “Baby, I’m just joking.” Emma’s lip quivered and he hugged her, “Damn it, I was joking.” “How did you do it and not feel like a dirty…” Emma stopped. Troy laughed, “I numbed it.” “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please don’t make this change all you have accomplished…” Emma started. “Shut up Emma,” Troy smiled, “We kissed, not even the tongue although I have to say when you grabbed my face...you’ve gotten bold Emma.” Emma’s face turned red and she whispered, “Can we talk about something else?” “Can we forget about it please, for both of us and those little sleeping monkeys up there?” Troy smiled. “Thank you,” Emma smiled softly. “Again Emma, I owe you.” “Please you owe me nothing, you gave me London, and a friendship I would never want to lose,” Emma hugged him. “I’m going to kiss your cheek, so don’t move,” he laughed.
CHAPTER NINE “Unreal,” Brody flopped back on the bed of the sleazy motel he had been holed up in. “Everything okay?” Clive asked as he continued scouring the internet trying to find Brody’s old band mate Max. “They’re at the lake house, and when I say they I mean the girls, Emma, and Troy,” Brody let out a deep breath. “She’ll be fine. She waited months Brody for your ass. Okay — now focus, does this woman look familiar?” Clive asked. “Looks like Elizabeth, Clive where the fuck is Elizabeth?” Brody snapped. “I’ll look into it. But who are those people, that young guy with her?” Clive wondered aloud. “I don’t know but, damn it she better leave him the hell alone,” Brody frowned. “So we have a lot of information, and Max isn’t surfacing, do you think we should head back soon?” Clive asked. “I want this fucking wrapped up, she isn’t going to put up with much more of this Clive,” Brody snapped. Brody opened yet another prepaid disposable phone. - Should be home in less than a week, hope all three of you are well. Miss you so fucking bad…MM *** Emma read his text and felt sick to her stomach, she had not slept in a week and hated what she had done. - We need to talk when you get home… - Your sister, where is she?...MM - Not about her I...we’ll talk when you get home, I don’t think we can do this anymore… Emma’s phone rang and she jumped. “What’s going on Love?” Brody sounded exhausted. “No not now, when you get home,” Emma’s voice broke. “Em please stay strong,” his voice was near a whisper. “I kissed Troy…” Emma clasped her hand over her mouth shocked that she had just blurted that out. There was silence on the line and Emma began to cry. She heard him clear his throat, “Your still there?” She whispered. “Yes,” he said slowly. “It wasn’t planned, he and I both tried to peck each other on the cheek and well…” Emma whispered. “Are you going back to him Em?” Brody said through his teeth. “No, no it’s just, well, when he pulled away I kissed him again,” Emma said in a bit of a bolder tone. “I don’t need this right now Em,” Brody snapped. “I don’t either, I just thought maybe you should know,” Emma snapped back. “Oh yes, I should know, I should know that my fucking wife doesn’t believe in us. I should know you
would rather be with someone like him…” Brody yelled. “Don’t it wasn’t…” Emma started. “I don’t want to be here any fucking more! You should keep the girls close until I find out if Elizabeth is here,” Brody said in an all business tone. “Hmmm,” Emma responded sarcastically. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Brody yelled. “I’m awful because of an accidental kiss, but your ex- Domme...well that’s just business!” Emma snapped. *** “Take care Emma,” Brody snapped and the line went dead. “Look into him, I want to get home so I can …FUCK!” Brody snapped. “Okay,” Clive said and made a call. Brody stood in the dark hotel bathroom looking in the mirror when Clive knocked, “Elizabeth was gone for four days. Henry says she’s back now and she’s not talking. We leave in the morning.” Brody nodded and continued staring, “Can I help you with anything?” “Sure, answer a question, how the fuck am I supposed to be angry about a fucking kiss when I’ve done so much worse. And how the hell am I supposed to not be?” Brody shook his head and walked out the door. “She loves you Brody,” Clive said as he walked into the room. “She wouldn’t have waited if she didn’t. And now all this, she can’t know Brody, it would put her in more danger. It’ll all work out.” *** Emma sat crying when her phone rang. It was an unknown number, “Brody, I’m sorry...please…” “I accept whatever apology you’re giving that ass Emma, but it’s Oliver. Can we use the studio for a few days?” He asked. “Of course,” Emma sighed. “And stay in the apartment over the garage?” Oliver asked with a smile in his voice. “Yes,” Emma said softly. “We have to redo a few tracks, Zach needs to be included. So where is he?” Oliver asked. “I have no idea,” Emma’s voice broke. “Emma, we’ll be there shortly. Remember we can get anyone in a better mood love, see you in a bit. And when I say a bit, I mean like thirty minutes?” Oliver squeaked that in. Emma laughed, “Yes please, and thank you Oliver.” Emma’s phone rang again, an unknown number, “What — will you be here sooner?” She laughed. “Who the fuck are you expecting EM?” Brody snapped. “Brody…” Emma said softly. “Yes Em, your fucking husband!” They sat silently neither saying a word. Emma heard Brody release a long breath and tears began to fall. “Brody…” Emma started. “Em, I know this is a bit much, all of this. But please tell me what it is that you find so appalling about me. Are you no longer in love? Are you disgusted by the way I look? Can you not see past what has happened?” There was deep desperation in his voice. “Brody, it was an accident. And I don’t know what possessed me…” Emma said. “Did he push you into this Em?” again his voice was angry. “Not at all, he stopped it,” Emma said quietly and Brody did not respond, “He thinks it’s because I’m
lonely or that…” “Enough, Em I can’t do this on the phone. Maybe you need to …” Brody started. “NO Brody I don’t need to fucking come! I need a relationship with the man who made me believe and trust again, not sex. I need my friend, my partner, I need to know I wasn’t wrong trusting you. I need to know that you truly are different than he was,” Emma began to sob. “I’m doing this for us Em,” he said softly. “That’s great, the last time you tried to surprise me by doing something for us you were gone for months. I can’t live with the lies and deceit anymore. I have two beautiful girls that are getting far less of me than they deserve. The last time I felt like this I changed it, I can do that…” Emma started. “I’m coming home Em, I am coming home,” Brody said softly. “For how long Brody, how long this time?” Emma cried. “See you soon, I love you,” Brody hung up. *** Clive was packing when Brody walked into the darkened motel room. “You ready?” Clive asked. “Yes.” Brody said softly. “Okay so we know he’s involved,” Clive pointed to a picture, “And we now have to figure out who the people Elizabeth met with are, and the young man. We need to find Max.” “Clive this isn’t answers — it’s a damn puzzle!” Brody groaned. “One we’ll piece together, we know who owns the spa, we just have to dig a little deeper and figure out who owns him. We know he also owns the bar and that it’s very likely that place is just a front.” Clive was exasperated, “When we find Max, we find answers. I know you’re right about that.” “Me as well, we’ve been here long enough, you have someone trying to get an ID on Elizabeth’s people?” Brody asked. “Yes, that shouldn’t take long,” Clive answered. “With that we can get her talking. It’s a waiting game and we can wait at home,” Brody said as he grabbed his bag and they walked out the door. *** Emma sat in the basement listening to the band play, they sounded great. Of course it was different with Brody singing but Zach was pure entertainment. Hot and flirtatious and he had a great voice. Not as amazing as Brody’s but he was good. “You making us dinner Emma?” Zach asked pecking her on the cheek. “It’s in the oven,” Emma smiled at them. “Little one in bed?” Oliver asked. “Yes,” Emma smiled holding up the video monitor showing them Lexington. “And London’s with her now sober father?” Joe smiled. “Yep,” Emma said looking down. “Why the face Emma? You don’t like him?” Zach laughed. “I don’t like her being gone. He’s better now and putting her first, so for that I can’t dislike him,” Emma smiled. They sat in the dining room eating when the door opened and Brody walked in with flowers. Emma looked up and her jaw dropped. “Well hello everyone,” Brody smiled at the band. “Welcome home Love,” Joe jumped up and hugged him tightly, “Flowers for me? Oh and three
bouquets, how thoughtful. Now I think I’m going to have to put out,” he laughed. Brody looked at Emma, “Are the girls both in bed?” Emma nodded her head yes and then shook it no. “Well which is it?” Brody asked. “Lexi’s asleep, London’s with her father,” Emma was trying not to cry, “Excuse me, please.” Emma was in the pantry grabbing vases when Brody walked into the kitchen, “They’re lovely, I’ll put water in these.” Emma brushed past him and went to the sink and filled them with water, Brody walked up and handed her a mixed bouquet and she smelled it and closed her eyes and began to cry. “Em,” Brody began and she shook her head no. “They called this morning, sorry. I’ll …” Brody took the vase and lifted her chin, “Don’t.” Brody let out a frustrated breath, “May I hug you or would that be too much to ask after three weeks?” Emma didn’t respond, “I see.” “You should go see them, I’m tired and don’t feel much up to entertaining,” she quickly left the room stopping briefly. Emma wanted to turn around but she couldn’t, she grabbed the monitor and stuck her head in the dining room, “Goodnight.” *** Emma was asleep in the rocking chair holding Lexington when Brody walked in. He gently took her out of Emma’s arms and held her tightly against him. “I love you Princess,” he said kissing her head lightly before laying her down. Emma sat up and looked at him nervously. He grabbed her hand, pulled her up, walking out the door with her hand in his he closed it softly behind them. “I need to...Em I can’t bear that his or anyone else’s lips were the last ones on you. I’m going to kiss you,” Brody held her face tightly in his hands. Emma’s bottom lip began to quiver, “Please just let me go, I can’t take this anymore, Brody it hurts. Please, just please...” He looked into her eyes and wiped the tears not releasing her face, “I won’t ask more of you Em. I’m sure I disgust you and I’m more than certain it’ll get far worse, but please don’t deny me a kiss.” Emma didn’t have time to reply and his mouth covered hers. Softly he drew her lower lip out between his own and caressed it lightly with his tongue. He moved to the top and did the same, slow gentle strokes, cleansing the memory that Troy’s may have left. He let go of her face and took her arms and lifted them, wrapping them around his neck. When she stiffened he didn’t release them, he took them both in one hand and used his other hand to gently stroke the side of her face as he kissed down her jaw line and across her collarbone, she whimpered and pushed her face into his hand. He moved back to her lips and she opened her mouth to breathe, his tongue continued to trace her lips and her tongue met his, he groaned. Brody pushed her against the wall holding her hands above her and kissed her harder. She pushed her body into his and he pulled back leaving a distance between them. He continued to kiss her until he felt her body shake slightly and stiffen, she cried out and started to feel her legs wobble. Brody released her hands and held his forehead tightly against hers looking directly into her eyes. “There’s nothing in my life that’s more important than you and the children. Nothing! If we get through this, and damn it Em, we have to. Your lips are MINE, and mine are YOURS alone. Always and Forever,” Brody watched as her eyes filled again and he closed his eyes and let out a breath, “Goodnight.” Emma watched as he walked to the stairs, “Where are you going? Brody — please don’t do this again,
where are you going?!” Emma fell to her knees and cried with her head in her hands. She finished crying and sat up wiping her eyes, she looked up to see he sat at the top of the stairs. “I have a room in town,” he said softly. “Oh,” was all she could manage. “I’ll see you in the morning if that’s alright,” he looked up at her. She nodded her head and stood up wanting to tell him to stay but she couldn’t take the disappointment. “I love you Em,” Brody said and turned to walk down the stairs. “Brody….” Emma stopped herself and he looked at her searching, seeking something from her, “Stay, please stay…I won’t ask again, I couldn’t take it if you said no…” He let out a breath, “Are you sure?” “Please, I can sleep in Lexington’s room tonight, we can work slowly…just don’t go,” Emma pleaded. “Sleep next to me. Please Em, please love,” Brody closed his eyes until she whispered “yes.” Emma followed Brody into the master suite and he walked into the closet and grabbed her a nightgown and himself pajama pants. “Here Em,” he said handing her the nightgown. Brody walked to his side of the bed and took his shirt off and looked up and saw Emma watching him. He let out a breath and she turned and walked into the bathroom and changed. Emma climbed into the bed and curled into a ball hugging her pillow and he sat on his side and watched her. Brody shifted uncomfortably several times and Emma hugged her pillow tighter each time. He pulled his knees up and rested his head on them and rocked slowly back and forth. Emma sat up and looked at him. He looked over at her and closed his eyes and sat back running his hands through his hair. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. They stared at one another for several minutes until Emma crawled across the bed and sat against the head board next to him. She reached over and took his hand and held it stroking his fingers gently as she looked down at them. He watched her curiously. Emma opened her hand and held it up and placed his against hers, “You have nice hands Brody, strong hands.” “Em?” he said softly and she let go and wrapped her arms around him and put her ear to his chest and listened to his heart beating against her ear. Brody scooted down and wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly to him, “I love you Em. I hope you know that.” “I love you,” Emma said and he released a breath into her hair kissing her and rubbing her back. “Goodnight Love,” he whispered against her hair. “Goodnight,” she said and fell asleep. *** Emma woke still wrapped in his arms and kissed his chest. He held her tighter and looked down and smiled. “You didn’t leave me,” Emma kissed him again. “I almost forgot how beautiful you were. My God, Em.” Emma rolled her eyes, blushed and pulled away sitting up and looking at him, she smirked, “What is it Em?” “It’s you, in our house, in our bed, and always here,” she held her hand to her heart, “I’m so sorry, about what I did. That’s not who I am, I was just so lonely and…angry with you and...” “Please let’s not do this, please just forget it okay?” Brody stood and walked to the bathroom.
Emma sat on the bed and grew frustrated. She grabbed her robe and walked down the hall and peeked in on her sleeping child. She walked down the stairs and started the coffee. Brody walked in and looked at her. “Em…” he started. “No, I don’t think I can do this now Brody. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry,” Emma grabbed a Sippy cup and walked up the stairs to Lexington’s room. Brody quickly followed behind her, “She’s using a cup now?” “She’s almost a year old, I thought it was time,” Emma said opening the door. “Dadadada!” Lexi screeched. “Princess,” he picked her up and held her tightly, “Oh Princess you stink.” Brody laughed, “Really bad!” She laughed and Emma got her clothes ready. Emma changed her clothes and kissed her and handed her a cup. Lexington smiled and reached for Brody, “Dadada.” “May I, Em?” Brody asked. Emma looked confused, “Yes Brody of course.” Emma started leaving the room and he grabbed her hand, “Let’s do something fun today love.” “I think we should talk Brody.” He looked down and then up at her, “Not today Emma.” “Then when?” Emma asked and his expression went blank. Emma shook her head, “You talk to Dadada, and I’m going to get some work done. I’m very far behind.” Emma spent most of the day in the office, at lunchtime she came out. “Eat with us, Em?” Brody smiled. “When you’re ready to talk Brody: when we can move forward — then I’ll be more than happy to be your wife but playing house hurts just as much as you being gone,” Emma said sadly as she walked away. *** Emma’s phone rang as she was taking a break outside in the sun, she jumped, it was an unknown number. “Hello…yes this is Emma Hines…where…are they alright?…I’ll be there in two hours…yes whatever needs to be done,” Emma hung up the phone and stood up and walked towards the house. Brody watched as she ran to the bushes and threw up, her body shook and she stumbled. “Em?” he said as he grabbed her hair away from her face. “Don’t, don’t!” Emma screamed. Her body continued to tremble and he scooped her up and she clung to him. He walked into the kitchen and she said, “Rupert we need to go…Troy…London...Ann, get Lexi ready. Brody put me down please.” “Clive!” Brody yelled, Clive walked into the room and looked at him. Brody looked at Emma, “Where are they?” Emma told him and he grabbed the car seat and diaper bag, he walked out and walked to the car. Rupert and Ann followed in the other car. Emma watched Lexi sleep and caressed her face. “Em what happened?” Emma said nothing and then finally swallowed hard, “They were in an accident.” Brody called the hospital and put it on speaker, “This is Brody Hines, I would like information on London and Troy Fields, London’s mother’s here.” The nurse told them that Troy was in critical condition and in surgery, they were doing everything they could to stop the internal bleeding. He had a serious head injuries that they would address if his surgery
was successful. London had shattered the tibia bone in her leg and would be going into surgery as soon as her CAT scan was read, they hoped that Emma would be there before they took her in. “We’re an hour away, please wait until we get there unless it is medically necessary to do otherwise,” Brody ended the call and looked at Emma who appeared to be in shock. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her head, “She’s going to be alright.” “If she loses her father, she won’t be alright,” Emma sat up. “She’s strong like you Emma, and she has us, we can get her through whatever she may be facing,” Brody kissed her head. “Brody she has me. You and I…” Emma started. “You and I are going to be fine Emma, I’m going to regain your trust. I love you. We’ll get her through this,” Brody pulled her on his lap. “Clive who has Emma’s bag?” “It’s up here,” Clive responded. Brody set Emma down and reached through the dividing window and grabbed it. He opened the bag and looked through it and set it down. “What are you doing?” “Making sure you have your brush and such, we are going to need to put you back together before you see London, you always look beautiful to me, but right now you’re a bit disheveled,” he smiled and kissed her nose. Emma closed her eyes and sat back, “I want an accident report.” “Clive did you hear Emma?” Brody snapped. “Already on it,” Clive answered. Emma looked at Brody, “I don’t know what’s going on but I need you back, I need you back now.” Brody took a deep breath, “That’s the plan.” “No Brody, no more. If this turns out to NOT be an accident you and I are not going to be alright. You came back to me Brody, things were hard but going in the right direction and then you just…God — I can’t do this with you here.” “Em, you can’t do it without me either. I never should have left back then. But again, trust me to fix this,” Brody said sternly. “Trust you?” Emma asked. “Let’s get through this. And yes Emma trust me. Clive…” Brody said through his teeth. “One hour,” he yelled back. “You can do better,” Brody ordered, “And when we get there you get to work!” “Alright,” Clive said quietly. “My rules now!” Brody snapped. “Yes sir,” Clive answered. Emma looked at him confused. “I’m not going anywhere, those fucking papers obviously aren’t making you safe, and that’s done.” “Hines” Clive said with warning in his voice. “What!” Brody said slamming back into the seat. “You think it’s her?” Emma whispered. “Emma,” he warned. “Brody…” she started. “I trust about a handful of people right now, you, me, Clive and our children. I won’t tell you anymore right now. But again Emma you need to fucking trust me, and when I argued about his visits…FUCK!” he yelled. He held Emma tightly against him and stroked her head. Emma let out a breath and wrapped her arms
around his neck. “There you are Em,” he whispered in her neck, “Right where you need to be.” *** Ann took Lexi from the car and Brody began to object, “Brody,” Emma said taking his hands, “They’ll be in there with us.” “Do you trust them?” Brody asked his jaw tightening. “With our lives,” Emma said and he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her. “God Emma, when you act like this, it makes me feel so small, it’s almost…” Brody started as they got in the elevator. “Brody that’s not my intention,” Emma said softly. They got off the elevator and were taken immediately to London. “Mommy, Brody,” she cried, “You’re both here.” Emma kissed and hugged her and Brody smiled, “Nowhere else I’d be London.” “Mrs. Hines we have papers for you to sign at the nurse’s station please,” Nurse Mary said, motioning her out the door. “How’s Troy?” Emma asked as soon as they were away from the room. *** Brody climbed in bed next to London and she wrapped her arms around him trembling. “You’re going to be alright London,” Brody said kissing her head. “Are you going to leave again?” “Nope, not if I don’t have to,” Brody kissed her head. “Can I tell you what happened?” London asked and her eyes widened, he nodded his head yes. “Daddy was going to take me camping, not home, he had lots of phone calls and he seemed different. We got in the car and drove and he kept telling me jokes to make me laugh and I just knew...” “You’re very smart, just like your Mom, go on London.” “Well he started getting nervous, looking in the mirror on the windshield and he said shit, sorry but that’s what he said a lot like shit, shit, shit.” Brody smiled, “Okay I understand, keep going.” London smiled and then her eyes changed, “Then we got bumped and we were going fast. Then we spun in circles and then I think we hit a tree. Daddy was trying to help me and told me he loved me and that he loved Mommy and Lexi. I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings but he didn’t say it about you.” “That’s okay, go on London,” Brody pulled her hair away from her face. “Then I remember lots of blood and that’s it. Is he going to be okay?” “Well he’s in surgery and we’ll know soon. But you’re going to be fine, better than fine okay?” “I don’t think we should worry Mommy,” London said and looked up at him, “She has a lot on her mind with you acting all stupid lately.” Brody laughed, “Well then.” “Just saying it like I see it, you’ve been a shit,” London whispered. Brody sucked his cheeks in trying to mask his smile, “Potty mouth.” “Don’t tell Mommy,” London warned. “I wouldn’t dare,” he said and faked a tremble. “Oh and Daddy has a new phone and a new computer that he shuts every time I walk in the room.” “Anything else?” “Yes, kick the shit out of whoever did this,” London cried. “London we’re going to have to do something about that mouth,” Brody said as sternly as he could to
her. “Sorry, don’t tell Mommy,” London hugged him tightly. “Don’t tell Mommy what London?” Emma asked as she walked to the bed. “Nothing,” they both answered looking at each other. Brody stood up, “You two want a minute?” “Yes thank you,” Emma said looking at London. Brody walked by and kissed Emma, “I’m going to check on Lexington. She’s going to be fine Emma, quite full of it actually.” Emma looked at him and he hugged her and turned her around, “What’s going on,” he whispered in her ear. She smiled and he knew she was trying to be strong, “Em, is he okay?” He felt her body release a breath and looked at her and she whispered, “No.” “Can you keep that from her?” he said kissing her head. “I have to for now,” Emma whispered back. *** Emma held London and Brody brought Lexi in, “Where did Rupert go?” Emma looked at him, “He had to go grab some things for me.” Brody looked at her suspiciously and Emma looked fiercely at him. *** Brody bounced Lexington on his knee and was sending and receiving messages on his phone through the entire surgery. When Emma took Lexi to feed her and he walked out of the room. When Brody returned he looked agitated. “Everything alright?” Emma asked placing sleeping Lexington in the carrier. Brody looked at her, “No. So I should tell you about London and my conversation while you were signing papers.” Emma smiled, “I heard.” “Everything?” “She said shit a lot, and you Brody, didn’t scold her.” “He knew something.” “I heard,” Emma said looking down. “Where’s Rupert Em? He has been gone awhile,” Brody asked raising his eyebrow. Emma looked up at him expressionless, “Maybe he got caught in traffic, did you need him for something?” “Em,” Brody glared. “Brody,” Emma glared back. “So you’re becoming quite an expert marksman,” Brody said raising an eyebrow. “Yep — just waiting to get my license, then I’ll be a gun totting member of the NRA,” Emma laughed. “And you should do a reality show on speed dating or something, you know we each have our thing.” “I’m not dating! God Emma,” Brody snapped. “Well I suppose not,” Emma stood walking towards the door. “They said another thirty minutes and she’ll be in recovery and then an hour until she wakes up, things are going very well,” Brody walked up and hugged her, “I love you, Em.” “You better,” Emma patted his back. “What are you hiding?” Brody asked.
“What are you hiding?” Emma asked in return, “No forget it. I need to be here and present, stop making my head spin.” Brody smiled, “Well at least I can still do that,” Emma kissed him, “Wow — how long has it been since I haven’t had to initiate physical contact?” Emma looked down and shook her head, “I guess I can take that, I did tell you I cry after you fuck me.” “I’ve treated you like a possession and not a privilege. I literally feel like if I make you come, I’ve done my job,” Brody said softly to himself. Emma looked up at him and started laughing. “What?” he asked. “Nothing,” Emma smiled, Brody’s brows creased, “Stop pouting I was just thinking that...at least you take your job seriously. You could have maybe just reported to duty with less on your mind.” Brody looked at her and rolled his eyes, “I’ve had a lot on my mind.” “I’m aware of that and by the way multitasking should be left to women we’re way better at it.” She looked at his eyes and saw them filled with desire. Emma closed her eyes and sat down and he stood looking at her. She grabbed her phone and returned messages and felt him still looking at her, her face felt hot and she looked up. “Stop it.” Emma whispered. “You started it,” Brody walked towards her. “Brody,” she warned. He picked her up and sat her on his lap, “I just want to hold you.” “Really, then what’s this?” she said while moving her bottom. “Yours,” Brody said and reached down and adjusted himself, “just not right now,” he said and chuckled gruffly. Emma took the hand he had just used to adjust himself and kissed each fingertip lightly and looked up at him. His mouth opened slightly and his breaths became shallow. She leaned into him and released his hand. Brody traced her lips with his fingers and she bit lightly on them, “Keep still damn it,” he whispered. Emma smiled and licked his fingertips lightly, “Emma,” he moaned and quickly stood up and went into the bathroom. When he returned Emma smiled smugly at him, “You alright?” He shook his head, “I am now, I literally made it in there just in time. It would have been quite embarrassing walking around with a mess on my pants.” Emma giggled, “Don’t laugh, it may happen again — you know how that makes me feel.” “My laughing at you?” “You being happy sends me to places I would rather not discuss right now,” he said and turned away. “I used to be happy a lot, so did you. I wish you could remember that,” Emma said sadly. “Em I remember, happiest times of my life. I just hope you’ll never forget, ever,” Brody knelt in front of her. Emma grabbed his hair and pressed her forehead to his, “You need to trust me, too.” He smiled, “I do.” “Not enough,” Emma let go of him. He let out a breath and looked down and sat next to her, “Come here please,” he patted his lap, “Get some rest.” Brody fell asleep before she did and Emma woke to Rupert standing in front of her, “Did you get it?” Emma whispered. “Yes, it’ll be where we decided,” Rupert said. “He’s suspicious,” Emma whispered.
“I know, I passed Clive when I was heading out of town, drove like a bat out of hell to get back here,” Rupert smiled, “Its password protected.” “I’m sure I can figure it out,” Emma smiled. “Are you sure you want to do this alone?” Rupert asked. “Yes, just make sure Ann has tea when I need her,” Emma said taking the bag he had put on the floor in front of her. “She always does ma’am,” he said and looked at his wife lovingly. Brody sat up, “What’s in the bag Rupert?” he said accusingly. “The items your wife sent me after sir,” he replied, “Is that all ma’am?” “Yes, thank you,” Emma reached down for the bag. Brody snatched it up and raised his eyebrow, “Brody,” Emma warned. “Em I want to see it first, okay,” he said and glared at her. “No actually, it’s not,” she grabbed for it. “I don’t think this is the appropriate place for this, I’ll tell you everything that I have so far but I don’t want you to see alright?” Brody asked calmly. “No, it’s not. I have a dead ex- husband and a daughter who could have died today. I’m just as deep in this as you are, more so if we count casualties so far. If you can’t handle that, I’m sorry. But you’ll have to figure it out just like I have,” Emma said and opened the bag. “I won’t hurt you anymore than I have damn it!” he grabbed the bag and pulled out the iPad and opened it, “What’s the password Em?” “I don’t know you’ll have to ask London — it’s hers, to replace the one that was smashed up in the accident Brody,” Emma said taking it back and trying to look angry. Lexi woke and Emma fed her, Brody pawed through the bag of pajamas and books that Rupert had stopped and picked up. There were three toothbrushes and three washcloths, toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner. He looked up at Emma and scowled. “This is all Rupert brought back Em?” “Did you need something? I wasn’t sure if you would be staying, I thought maybe you would be returning with Clive,” Emma answered as she held Lexington on her lap, “Did he get the board book I asked him to?” “This?” he asked holding it up. “Yes, come read with us?” Emma smiled. Brody walked over to her and took Lexi, “Your Momma thinks I’m stupid.” “Tell Daddy I think he’s very smart and extremely handsome,” Emma smiled at Lexi. “Tell Mommy to stop treating me like a child,” Brody smiled at Lexi. “Tell Daddy he should go first,” Emma laughed. “Maybe we should ask Rupert who pays his wages?” Brody said tickling Lexi’s chin. “Tell Daddy that was rude, and child support would more than cover it,” Emma smiled. “No ma’am, I would work for you for free,” Rupert said and Ann laughed. Brody scowled at them. The nurse walked in and told them they could go back. Ann took Lexi and Brody took Emma’s hand and kissed it, “You ready?” When they walked in to recovery the first thing London asked about was her father. “Let’s talk about that later okay?” Emma said and kissed her. “Brody is my Daddy dead?” London demanded. “Em,” Brody whispered and searched her face. Emma closed her eyes and tears started flowing. She’d held it together so well until now, “London,” Emma whispered in her ear. “Answer me!” London yelled at Brody.
Brody sat down and grabbed for her hand and she pulled it away, “Is he?” She yelled. “London I’m so sorry, yes your father is gone,” Brody said looking into her eyes. “It’s because you brought her back here, she’s evil and you brought her here, I HATE YOU!” London yelled and started crying. Emma looked at Brody shocked, “London don’t you blame him, he loves you. Brody didn’t do this.” “Stop sticking up for him, he hates you too. He leaves you all the time. He hates all of us,” London yelled. “London please…” Brody started and a tear fell from his eye, “I love you and your mother very much.” “Sometimes it doesn’t matter, you’ll leave again I know you will, that’s what you do,” she snapped. “London I won’t leave you again…” Brody sat on the bed next to her. “Yes you will, I want you to leave now — GET OUT!” She screamed. “London that’s enough,” Emma pleaded. “No Mommy. I don’t want him here, I want him to leave now,” London screamed. Brody kissed London’s head and stood up, “I’m going to be right out there, if you need me I’ll be here just ask.” “London I’m so sorry,” Emma hugged her tightly. “Me too Mom, but I hate Brody. He came into our lives and just keeps leaving,” Emma let her talk, “and he brought her back here and says it’s because he loved you,” London sobbed. “He didn’t like my Dad either, he’s probably glad he’s dead,” London wiped her face on Emma’s shirt, “He hated him because…” “London you should rest baby, we can talk later,” Emma kissed her head. “He hated him because of what happened at the beach,” London said and looked up at Emma. “I know, but I don’t think Brody hated him.” “Well he certainly didn’t like him,” London snapped. “Why do you think that?” Emma said. “I...he left and you got cancer Mommy, he left and you were so sick,” London cried. “I’m good now, right?” Emma kissed her. “Yes Mommy, but then he left and he left for a long time, a very long time and SHE came back instead of him, and she’s mean and evil just evil,” London cried. “And then what happened?” “He came back and loved us again and she stopped coming around and things were good,” London cried. “Okay, Shh” Emma soothed. “And then he left again Mommy and my Dad died, my daddy’s dead, Mommy,” London cried harder, “and now I told him to go away, and I know he will Mommy.” “Well I don’t think…” Emma started. “He can’t leave again Mommy I love him,” London cried and started to close her eyes, “He can’t fix this by coming back Mommy, he can’t bring Daddy back.” “He would if he could London,” Emma said and tears fell. “I was so mean to him Mommy, and now he’s gone. I just want him to fix it like he always does and he can’t. I know it’s not his fault I love him Mommy and I love Dad and this is SHIT!” London yelled. “Okay. It IS sad, but your mouth London...“ Emma said softly. “SHIT I’M SO SORRY, BRODY, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!” London screamed. Brody cleared his throat when he walked in the door, “London, you really need to stop saying that word, it literally means something that comes out of your fanny not out of the mouth of a beautiful girl,” he smiled and she smiled back. “By the way; I love you very much and wish I could fix this for you. I didn’t
hate your father, how could I, he helped make you?” Brody climbed in bed with her and held her as she fell asleep wrapped around him. “Thank you,” Emma said. “No Em, you’re very good at this Mommy stuff. You listen to her and help her…” Brody stopped. “I didn’t help her, I just gave her the opportunity to say what she wanted and explain to herself why she felt that way. God, she loves you,” Emma said sitting with her hands in her hair. “And that troubles you,” Brody said sadly. “More so now than ever Brody, damn it!” Emma sat back. “We’re going to be fine, all of us are going to be just fine,” Brody said and reached over and grabbed her hand.
CHAPTER TEN Brody carried London into the house after they spent two nights in the hospital. “Are you going to leave now?” London asked. Brody smiled, “Sick of me already?” “No, I just want to know if you’re going to leave and for how long.” Emma took Lexi upstairs and laid her down. “Hey London — let’s check out Netflix, were going to do nothing today but chill and watch ridiculously funny movies,” Brody said making a silly face, “here’s the remote, you surf the channels and I’m going to force your mother to make us those chocolate chip cookies we love.” Emma smiled as he slid across the floor in his socks, “Already on it.” “Good wench, your place is in the kitchen,” he grabbed her ass, “And the bedroom.” Emma jumped, “Wow someone’s returned.” “Are you prepared for what that brings?” He asked. “The good, the bad, and the hideous?” “Yes Brody, for better or worse,” Emma said turning around, he sat on the counter, Emma's eyebrow raised remembering the last time he sat there and she closed her eyes and shook her head as if it were an etch- a- sketch and the image in her head would disappear. He laughed, “What are you thinking love?” “I’m making cookies, and you’re in my way.” “Oh I see. Anything I can do to help you out?” he asked cocking his head to the side. “Go back and see if London needs anything,” Emma said walking to the pantry. “Seriously Emma what’s wrong with you, you have a funeral to help plan, a child with a broken leg and some crazy ass out there after your family, and you’re thinking about...” “About what love?” Brody whispered in her ear and bit her lobe lightly. “Cookies I’m thinking about cookies. Does she need anything?” “She’s asleep, probably tired from the ride. So I was thinking,” he spun her around, “Maybe you and I could dance.” “I have cookies to make,” Emma gasped. “I love your cookies, we should add M&M's to them at the end, then they would be the best cookies ever,” he laughed. Emma laughed and then she looked shocked, “You can't leave again.” “I promise I won't but after you hear everything you may want me too,” Brody said and looked at the recipe card trying to forget. “Our girls are asleep, talk as we bake?” “Where’s the computer and the phone Rupert retrieved from Troy’s Em?” Brody asked and looked at her. Emma scowled and looked at him, “I want to see it.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Emma said softly. Brody whispered back, “Even if you say it quietly, it’s still a lie Em.” “Let me ask you why you’re so interested.” “Okay tit for tat, I have a video. It was delivered to our postal box, it’s of me while in captivity, getting my ass beat amongst other things. I had to pay two million dollars as a bribe to someone. We haven’t figured out who yet but we’re narrowing it down. I was contacted after the money was sent western union of all things so it was untraceable, saying if I didn’t return to my old ways, pre marriage, or BE, Before Emma, bad things would happen. After it was noticed that I continued spending a lot of time
here I was contacted and told I needed to file papers. That was a few weeks ago. I refused and further threats were made, I decided to comply and well, I’m sure what happened was a result of it. I didn’t want to leave you, except the first week I was gone. That week was because of the dreams and was afraid I would hurt you or one of them,” Emma looked at him and was angry. “Why didn’t you just tell me Brody, this has been hell. My God Troy’s dead, London could have been. Why didn’t you go to the police or talk to my father?” Emma asked quietly. “Do you think I didn’t considered all of that?” Brody asked looking hurt. “I’m sorry, I just, this is all…okay I’m sorry,” Emma said and started to grab for him and stopped. “You won’t touch me?” Brody asked heartbreakingly. “I just don’t know if it’s alright with you Brody,” Emma said, “Is it?” “Of course,” he said and held his hand out to her, “I’m yours Emma, how many times must I tell you that?” They held each other tightly, “Okay Emma let’s go, it’s about twenty minutes of footage, do you think they’ll sleep that long?” Brody asked leading her to the office. “You don’t have to be in here when I watch it Brody,” Emma swallowed hard. “Oh yes I do,” Brody said authoritatively, “We could do this on the big screen if you’d like,” he laughed uncomfortably and sat down. Emma sat next to him and held his hand. He clicked a few documents and entered a password and sat back rubbing his hand along his stubbly face. Emma watched as Brody was shackled to a wall fighting to get away and screaming for them to let him go, it took three men to pin him to it so that they could strip him and wrap him in some sort of loin cloth. He was left alone, the clock in the back ground was six hours later than in the first incident and he still stood tall with his arms cuffed in the air. He asked to be released and was whipped across the stomach he didn’t flinch. He repeated his request and the whipping continued for two hours. Next was two women fondling him which was very hard to watch but he didn’t react at all. Two men came in and backhanded him across his face repeatedly for being unresponsive to the women. He was poked with a needle and visibly relaxed immediately. A blond woman came in and un- cuffed him. He smiled when she took off her robe and sank into the bed. Emma recognized her, it was Elizabeth. “Have you had enough Em?” Brody asked. “No,” she answered quietly. Elizabeth held herself up above his head by a bar that appeared to be attached to the ceiling. She lowered herself onto his face and Emma looked away. Brody reached up and paused the computer, “I know this is pretty difficult to watch Em but were more than half way through. You need to see this because if it gets leaked I want no surprises.” “Are you alright Brody?” Emma asked quietly. “As long as you don’t end up fucking hating me I will be,” Brody sat back. Emma looked up at him, “They hurt you.” “I’m fine now,” Brody grabbed her hand and kissed it. Emma sat back and pulled her knees into her chest and he moved the curser to play. Elizabeth rocked her pelvis into his face and he turned his head away from her. She held his head between her knees and he was whipped again by someone else. Emma looked at the clock on the screen and it was seven and a half hours from when it started. She could feel Brody looking at her and she squeezed his hand and looked over at him. “Em we’re almost done, but if you want to wait,” he offered. It was a different scene but he was obviously drugged again and he was on his knees this time. His arms strung up above him, he had more marks across his body and Elizabeth stood in front of him with her
foot on the bed behind him, his face was between her legs. When he pulled away from her, he was whipped and after three hours his arms were released and he was sitting on the end of the bed as she straddled him and fucked him. Emma looked down briefly. When she looked up Brody again appeared lethargic and Elizabeth was in a swing of some sort strapped up. He was in a chair and turned his head away from her and was whipped. Finally he wrapped his arms around her legs and began to satisfy her orally and her face when she came made Emma sick. Emma stood and walked out of the room and into the bathroom and threw up. She sat on the floor and cried. Brody walked in and knelt down in front of her and hugged her not saying anything. “Brody you were obviously drugged and beat, and God...you must have been scared,” Emma cried. “And cold, it was really cold,” he whispered, “and it smelled literally like urine in that room. Okay let’s finish this up.” The next ten or so minutes he was beaten less and more submissive. He and Elizabeth must have had sex twenty times. “We need to see what he has on that computer Em and I need a fucking shower,” Brody said disgusted. Emma checked on London and Ann was in the kitchen finishing the cookies. Emma went upstairs and walked into the master bedroom, “You need something Em?” “Just to know you’re alright.” “If you are, I am. What did you think, I mean do you have any questions?” he asked uncomfortably. “Observations, your face was cleanly shaved and by the end you had a full beard, so I’m sure it was over a week, maybe two that all that went on. When I saw your back there weren’t scars from the stab wounds, so I assume you tried to escape or something. Elizabeth looked sober, her pupils didn’t stay fixed like yours were the whole time. She has a big ass and you didn’t look like you enjoyed it. You were fast — it wasn’t ambitious sex, you even looked pissed when you came,” Emma finally looked up at him. “I love you Em.” “Well, I feel the same.” “I should have given you more credit and avoided all this shit,” Brody was irritated. “Shut up Brody and get in the bath, I need to wash you,” Emma ran water. He looked at her shocked, “Ok…join me?” “Yes,” Emma took her clothes off slowly as he watched her and stepped in the bath. “You’re beautiful,” he pulled her onto him. “I love you,” Emma wrapped her arms and legs around him and melted into his arms. *** Brody was downstairs with London when Clive walked in, “Emma’s family is here to see London.” “Alright,” Brody sat up, “You have company!” Henry, Caroline and Elizabeth came into the family room and London looked up at Brody apprehensively. “I’m right here,” he whispered in effort to comfort London. “How are you feeling?’ Caroline sat next to London. “I’m tired,” London said softly. “I bet you are,” Henry smiled, “Are you alright, London?” “No,” her lip quivered. Brody helped her sit up, “What do you need London, can I get you a drink?” “Please don’t leave,” London whispered. “We brought dinner,” Caroline smiled. “And gifts,” Elizabeth sat next to Brody.
Emma walked in with Lexi and froze. “Em, your family brought dinner,” Brody said trying to break her glare at them. “We’ve got it,” Emma snapped. “Dada,” Lexington smiled and reached towards Brody. He started to stand and London squeezed his hand tightly, “Emma, could you bring her to me?” “I’ll get her,” Elizabeth stood walking towards them. “The fuck you will,” Emma snapped. “Emma!” Caroline snapped and London giggled. “She doesn’t touch my children,” Emma pushing past them and sat next to Brody. “Em,” he whispered. “Don’t try to calm me down Brody,” Emma whispered back. “Why are you acting like this now Emma? London needs you to act rationally,” Henry said sternly. “No I don’t. I need her to do exactly what she is doing Grandpa. Elizabeth hates us, don’t you? You’ve been calling Dad and he tells you not to, you look at Brody like he’s cookies and it’s just gross, leave us alone!” London yelled. Emma stood up, “She needs a little bit of normal right now so we can go to the kitchen and chat if you’d like. London, I love you don’t be sad we, all four of us, will be fine. Better than fine.” “Does Emma know about everything Brody?” Elizabeth sneered. “Rupert, Ann” Brody yelled and they came in, “Please watch after the girls while we have a chat with my in-laws.” Brody held Emma’s hand as Caroline, Henry and Elizabeth walked out of the room. “You have to let me deal with this Emma. We have a lot to discuss still okay?” Emma looked up at him and her eyes started to tear up. “I know it’s a lot Em, but you have to hold it together for us okay, all of us.” Brody walked into the kitchen and Emma was behind him holding tightly to his hand. “Right now London’s our priority, this is unnecessary,” Brody said sternly. “She literally got home four hours ago from a two day stay at a hospital being poked and prodded. She’s lost her father and she need us; Emma and me, to get her through this.” “She needs us as well Brody,” Caroline cried. “London’s a very smart girl, she feels that Elizabeth doesn’t like her and she doesn’t need to be upset,” Brody said quietly. “So are you staying here now?” Elizabeth asked, scowling. “I’m not leaving my family, ever again,” Brody sneered, Emma squeezed his hand hoping to calm him down. “Does she know about the video of us?” Elizabeth asked. “I do, I saw it,” Emma said in an even tone. “Sure you have,” Elizabeth laughed. “No I did just today actually. I’m fine thanks for your concern,” Emma smiled. “Your husband fucked me and you’re fine?” Elizabeth laughed. “Yeah, about that...drugged and beaten and not really willing, that’s rape Elizabeth,” Emma growled. “Emma that’s enough,” Henry snapped. Emma laughed, “I agree.” “Does Emma know that your sister and your ex-wife have videos as well?” Elizabeth asked with intent. “We haven’t had a lot of time to discuss that but we’ll get there,” Brody looked down at Emma. “Elizabeth, Brody and I will figure it all out. ALL OF IT TOGETHER!” Emma retorted, “But your interest in him and Troy needs to stop, get a fu...” “Em, stop,” Brody put his finger over her mouth. “I think we’ve had enough today. Next time you visit,
please call.” “This is my daughter and granddaughters you can’t expect me to stop visiting,” Caroline yelled. “I can promise that when this is all sorted out…” Brody began. “Hines you’re way out of line here,” Henry growled. “No Henry, I’m right where I should be doing exactly what I should be doing,” Brody said softly. “So when this is all out in the open, when the media gets a hold of this then what?” Elizabeth laughed. “We will do whatever we need to,” Brody said sternly. “You can stop threatening Elizabeth, I’m not easily intimidated,” Emma smiled. “Feeling tough now that you know how to handle a gun Emma?” Elizabeth said raising her eyebrow. Emma smiled, “With or without, it really doesn’t matter.” “How the fuck did you…” Brody snapped, “It doesn’t matter, get her out of here Henry, she’s not welcome.” Emma looked at Caroline who was crying and looked at her, “Mom don’t…” Brody saw Emma’s hurt and felt torn. He looked at her and whispered, “Em…” Emma touched his face, “We’ll be fine. I’m going to see if London needs anything.” “Emma,” Caroline cried out. Emma ran to her and hugged her tightly, “We’ll all be okay, I understand, take care of her,” she kissed her cheek and pulled away. “Good night Dad,” she quickly hugged him and walked away. “What, no hug for me Emma?” Elizabeth yelled. Emma stopped and turned around and stormed towards her. Brody grabbed her by the waist. “Do you really need all this attention you bitch? My daughter needs me, I’m sure you had…” “Emma enough. Clive!” Brody shouted. Clive walked in and looked at him, “See them are off the property.” “Yes sir,” Clive said and showed them out. *** Brody carried London to bed as Emma took Lexi to bed and they met in the office. “Rupert’s bringing in the computer.” “Alright then,” Brody said and sat pulling her onto his lap and cradling her in his arms. Rupert brought in gloves, “You should wear these, we can put this back for the police if they need it as evidence. The police report doesn’t show foul play.” “Thank you Rupert,” Emma smiled and put on the gloves. “I want Clive in here, is that alright with you?” Brody asked. “Are you sure?” “Em, he knows everything and is very instrumental in this investigation. I trust him as much if not more than you trust Rupert.” The computer was password protected and it took over an hour to crack it but Clive worked at it while Emma and Brody looked at the phone. There were several messages from three different numbers. Brody wrote them down for Clive to figure out when they needed them. One number was threats on London and Emma’s lives if demands weren’t met. The next was thought to be Elizabeth. The messages had three different tones. One was to get Troy into bed, the other to make Brody appear to be a deranged sexual predator, the other was giving him advice on how to get custody of London away from Emma. The third number seemed to be a more friendly tone, his responses to this number were unlike those to Elizabeth. Apologies for Brody taking Emma away, sympathy for his daughter being kept from him, and congratulations for staying sober in this situation. All messages had taken place over a six week period. Clive handed the laptop to Brody and pointed to the file.
“Ready for this?” Brody asked Emma who nodded her head. “Clive, here are the numbers, try to back this phone up so we have a copy of all messages if necessary. The second number is probably Elizabeth, but I don’t recognize the number. See if you can find out how she got her hands on it, or who she’s working with. The third seems familiar, not the number but the tone of the messages, possibly Ariel.” Brody took a deep breath and took Emma’s hands in his, “You ready to run yet, Em?” “No,” “Good,” Brody pulled her arms around his waist and held her tightly, “Sit with me?” He opened the video link and sat back, hoping she didn’t want to run after whatever this may be. The video started with Brody standing in a room robed in a short deep purple silky robe that hit about three inches above his knees. Emma couldn’t help but laugh and Brody hit pause. “What Em?” “You would never wear something like that,” she said sucking her lips in trying to hold back her smile. He smiled, “What — you don’t like it?” “No,” she laughed and he kissed her head, “Purple’s not your color.” “I’ll keep that in mind,” Brody raised his eyebrow and hit play. Two women entered the room in robes matching his and Emma laughed and Brody shook his head, “Your tired, we could do this...” Emma grabbed his hand, “No…it’s just like I would imagine in a porno.” The girls put a mask over his eyes and Emma started laughing again, “What are you, Zorro?” Brody hit pause and laughed, “This isn’t funny Emma. Your laughing because you’re nervous and upset and tired, very tired. Why don’t I go tuck you into bed and Clive and I will finish this up.” “I don’t think so,” Emma looked up at him, “It’s just none of that is you, the robe the mask that’s not you but…” “Emma don’t start questioning, you’re the only one who knows the real me. I kind of hope you continue finding it amusing. I won’t stop again if you laugh, let’s just get through it.” After Brody had been masked the two women untied his robe and four women were ushered into the room and crouched down in the corners. “You may not look me in the eyes. You may watch as they pleasure me, you’re here to learn and hope that one day you may enjoy me,” Brody said in a sexy voice. The two women who had masked him dropped their robes and exposed there naked bodies. One knelt in front of him the other behind him. The women behind him removed his robe Emma hit pause. “Right there are scars, so this is after you’d been stabbed,” she hit play and sat back. The camera turned to the side and the woman in the front took him in her mouth and the one who was behind him stood on the opposite side of the camera and he caressed her breast. Brody wasn’t even hard as she sucked on for about five minutes. “Enough,” he snapped and pushed her away, “That’s unacceptable, leave.” He let go of the woman whose breast he was still calmly caressing even through his annoyance with the other woman. “You down and don’t make the same mistake or you’ll be literally on your ass next.” He stood with his arms crossed over his chest as she did her best to please him. “You in the red come and stand here, don’t look at me,” he demanded. The woman in red scampered to his side, “She isn’t pleasing me enough, help her.” The two women took turns sucking on his still soft shaft, “You both literally suck at this. My god get off of me and go to the bed and see if you can please one another.” The woman in pink giggled, “Is something amusing to you?” “No sir,” she smiled up at him.
He grabbed her and pulled her up, “Bend over,” and she did as he asked. He struck her three times on the bare ass before dismissing her. He looked around at the other two women, “Come watch with me,” he said and walked towards the two women on the bed. For five minutes they watched the two women touch, caressing and suckling each other. “You two leave now, enjoy one another, you disgust me.” “Now you both can take their places,” Brody pulled up a chair. The blue robed woman got on the bed and the one in gray stayed kneeling beside him, “You may answer my question but don’t look at me. Why haven’t you chosen to join your friend?” “I’m not here to serve her, I’m here for your pleasure,” she said quietly. “You may leave,” he said to the woman on the bed. Brody looked down at her, “You’ve pleased me by answering the way you did. Is that the truth?” “Yes Master,” she replied still kneeling down. “Do you think you could please me in other ways?” Brody asked softly. “I’ll do whatever you wish,” she answered. “I want to watch you make yourself come, that would please me,” Brody said softly, “You may use the bed.” “Yes Master,” she disrobed. She laid on the bed and began touching herself, “You seem nervous, I want you to feel relaxed. Watch me, I’ll do the same to myself.” His eyes were dark as he stroked himself until he finished and she did the same. “How do you feel?” He asked her. “Like I did something wrong.” She said quietly. “You did. It’s your job to please me and mine to please you,” he said handing her the robe, “You may dress.” “How long are you here?” Brody asked. “I paid for a week.” “Good, I would like to see you again. To teach you. Would you like that?” He asked. “Yes.” “At your spa time tomorrow I want you to wax, that will please me. What’s your name?” He asked. “Alexandra,” she answered. “How old are you?” “Thirty. This getaway was my birthday gift to myself.” “Alright, tomorrow you’ll help me prepare to meet the next group and if you do well I’ll make you come,” he said. “Goodnight Alexandra,” as he opened the door for her. *** “That’s it Clive?” Brody asked. “There is another that I was unable to get into, a video sent from a mobile phone number that was untraceable. There’s also a document that I was unable to get into,” Clive said and stood. “Wait Clive, so this place is a spa or vacation spot?” Emma asked. “We think so.” “And women pay to be bossed around by men?” “I’m sure it goes both ways,” Clive answered. “I’m sure as well, have you met my sister?” Emma laughed. Brody looked at her cautiously. “So have you asked her if she was there? I mean it looks like a different place but does she know
about it?” “No she says she doesn’t,” Brody answered. “Did Ariel and Rebecca receive the same videos?” “They have similar ones, we have copies, they’ve been very cooperative,” Brody answered. “How much did they have to pay?” “Nothing was demanded of them,” Clive answered. Emma looked at him, “Doesn’t that seem odd to you?” “This whole thing is odd ma’am,” Clive answered. “No, I think Ariel was threatened, by exposure to this, ruining her career and alimony issues if mine was ruined and Rebecca’s my sister and knows it would hurt the foundation. They were asked to keep me quiet and both worried I would tell you and that because your father’s affiliated with the authorities they believed you would then look for justice to be done. They knew you wouldn’t be able to handle what had happened to me otherwise,” Brody said holding her tightly. “So the reason we were apart for all those weeks is because of threats made by my sister and the assumptions of your ex and your sister, both of which barely know me?” Emma asked shocked. “Well when you say it like that it sounds utterly ridiculous. But you need to take into consideration that your sister has also made threats,” Brody answered in a clipped tone. “Furthermore, what happened to Troy and London was no accident. So no Em, this was not a narcissistic move on my part if that’s what you are implying.” “Listen Zorro, I’m not to be spoken to like that,” Emma snapped and started to stand. Brody laughed, “Emma, I prefer music man.” “So do I so get over yourself and stop being so damn dismissive to what I have to say. Clive, look into it and get back to me and if you can’t I’m sure Rupert can, right Rupert?” Emma said loudly. “Already on it ma’am,” he answered. Brody jumped, “Good God Emma, does that not freak you out?” “No I feel safe,” Emma stood up.
CHAPTER ELEVEN Brody, London, and Emma attended Troy’s funeral. Emma and London sat in the front with Troy’s family. Caroline and Henry sat with Brody in the back. “We’re so glad you’re alright London,” Tessa hugged her tightly, “How are things otherwise?” “I miss my Daddy,” she said tearfully. “So do I,” Tessa said with obvious pain in her eyes. “Your cousin’s are downstairs why don’t you go see them so I can talk to your Mom for a bit?” London looked nervously at Emma and Emma turned and looked for Brody to see he was walking towards them. Brody took her hand, “I’m very sorry for your loss.” Tessa smiled, “Thank you. London seems to adore you, I’m glad she has you.” “I’m lucky to have her in my life, thank you.” Brody smiled looking at London. “Brody, London would love to visit her cousins, could you take her down, she’ll tell you where to go,” Emma smiled. “Of course I will,” Brody lifted London up and kissed Emma softly on the cheek, “I’m sorry to see you again under these circumstances Tessa. I hope that we can meet again, London needs to still be a part of her family.” “Now that you mention it we’ll be going to Florida for Spring break, London should come,” Tessa smiled and looked at Emma who looked terrified, “All of you should come.” “Can we Brody?” London smiled. “I don’t know, it seems like a dreadful place, talking rats, magical sorcerers, and evil queens. Doesn’t that frighten you?” Brody asked as he trembled. London laughed, “There are also princesses and princes and the talking rat is a mouse. Are you afraid of mice, Brody?” “Hmm, I’m not sure how I would react, let your Mother talk to your aunt and decide that, shall we? We’ll be downstairs,” Brody smiled and kissed Emma again. “I know this is an odd place to be talking about this Emma but, holy shit, you’re married to Brody Hines, and he’s dazzling, funny, and...damn Emma,” Tessa gasped. “He loves her,” Emma took Tessa’s hand as they walked outside. “He seems to love you too Emma. I’m sorry about what you went through and now Troy’s gone,” Tessa broke down. “Tessa did he talk to you about Elizabeth?” “Just that she was nuts and that she called him a lot. He was afraid of her influence over London. But was sure you shared that concern and well he knew you’re a Momma Bear. Why do you ask?” Tessa said, taking the tissue Emma handed her. “I don’t know yet but I’m going figure it out,” Emma hugged her. “He said she and Brody…” Tessa grimaced. “A long time ago, Brody was fifteen and she was like twenty five. And when he went to help Dad find her he was drugged and beaten and well, then, as well I guess,” Emma frowned. “Well if my opinion matters he looks at you and my niece like the sun wouldn’t rise or set without you. Troy knows how much he loves you both as well.” ***
They stayed in her old house that night. London wanted to one last time and neither Brody nor Emma could have taken that from her. “Does it feel weird being here?” Emma asked Brody sitting next to him on the couch. “A bit, but more because I wonder what you were like then, before I brought all this craziness into your life.” “I can promise you I’m much happier now than I ever was here. That doesn’t sound right, does it?” Emma laughed. “No Em it’s exactly what I needed to hear, thank you,” he kissed her and started to pull away. “Please,” Emma said softly and kissed him again. “Please what Em?” “Please kiss me, it’s been a long time,” Emma said kissing him. “Are you sure, here?” Emma sat back and laughed, “I guess not.” “I’m not saying no, Emma. It has been a really horrible few days and I want to know you’re ready that’s all. I always want you, I just want to know you feel the same and things haven’t changed. I’m giving you time to think,” Brody kissed her hand. “Wow, alright,” Emma said and sat back and began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Brody asked concerned. “I was just thinking, I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm in this house and probably never will,” she laughed. “Do you need one?” he asked smiling. “I said please and I won’t beg,” Emma stuck out her bottom lip. “Where?” he asked smiling. “Everywhere.” “Perfect.” *** They lay on the laundry room floor laughing, “Did we cover everywhere Em?” Brody asked rolling to his side propping his head on his hand. “I think so,” Emma smiled. “Wow.” “Yeah, wow, you sure are amazing,” Emma sat up and kissed him. “I am pretty damn good huh?” Brody laughed. Emma laughed and stood up extending her hand to help him up. “Hey Em, when are you going to break?” Brody asked looking thoughtfully at her. “What?” she laughed. “You’ve been through hell and haven’t had a minute to...I don’t know cry.” “Oh I’ve cried...a lot lately.” “Not about this, not about Troy,” Brody said quietly. “I will when we figure it out. I can’t let this go. Someone killed him and my daughter watched her father die. I won’t let this go,” Emma took a deep breath, “And then you’ll be saying, Em when will you stop the sniveling,” she said in her best English accent and he laughed. “I sound that bad?” “I think it’s sexy as hell,” Emma grabbed a towel and wrapping herself in it, “Where did we leave our clothes?” “Do we need them, we are just going to sleep right?”
*** Brody followed Emma up the stairs with their bag and they got dressed for bed. Brody fell asleep quickly with Lexi in a port- a- crib beside the door. Emma went in with London and watched her sleep. Unbelievable, she thought, all she’s been through in the past two years of her life was heartbreaking. She felt her eyes heat up and she sat in the rocking chair London started to cry in her sleep, “No Daddy wake up, no daddy, please wake up,” she cried. Emma scooped her up and held her tightly, “London, wake up baby.” “Mommy Dad’s dead and he’s never coming back, never,” she cried. “I’m so sorry London,” Emma held her tighter. “Mommy can’t you fix this? Please Mommy...he was better, he got better for me because he loved me Mommy,” London cried harder and squeezed Emma tightly. “If I could I would,” Emma said wiping away her tears. “Mommy, I heard Clive say it was an accident, do you believe that?” “We have to listen to the police London,” Emma hoped that would make her feel safer than the truth. “Mommy a car hit us and he was scared,” London cried softly and shook. “Okay I can promise you the Police think it was an accident, but…” Emma started. “But your Mom and I are looking into it London and no one will hurt you I promise,” Brody said kneeling in front of them as he stroked her hair, “We have Clive and Rupert too, you know you’re safe, right?” “Okay, can I please sleep with you, please Mommy?” London asked. “I’ll stay in here with you and Brody will be in the other room with Lexi, is that okay?” Emma asked and looked at Brody who looked confused, “Why don’t we go to the bathroom before we go back to sleep.” London was in the bathroom, “Emma she could sleep with us. All in the same room.” “Brody when is the last time you had a nightmare?” Emma whispered. “Oh right, damn it!” He said softly. “It’ll get better,” Emma kissed him. “What about Lexi?” He asked. “I don’t think she’ll know what ‘get the fuck off me’ means Brody,” Emma smiled, “But it would frighten London.” “Good point,” Brody ran his hands through his hair. “Don’t pout, it does things to me,” Emma smiled and kissed him. Brody smiled, “Thanks Em.” “For what?” Emma asked. “Always trying to make me feel better,” Brody said softly. “Just returning the favor,” Emma smiled at him and he gave her a questioning look, “I love the way you love me so much Brody, I hope you always remember how much you mean to me, to us.” “Emma?” Brody asked. “Sometimes I just think you need to be reminded how much I cherish you,” Emma said hugging him. “I love you Em,” Brody said and London walked out, “May I tuck you in so your Mom can go to the bathroom? I’ll wait with you,” Brody said and picked her up and carried her to bed. *** The next day his last Will and Testament was read. Troy had two life insurance policies. One half million dollar policy with his mother as the beneficiary. The other was for two million and Emma and
London were the beneficiaries. The house was left to Emma. Troy had re- done his will six months prior to his death and he left letters that were given to all of them. “We can read these when we get back okay?” Emma asked London who shook her head in agreement. “Mommy can we stay here for a few more days?” London asked as they drove back to the house. “I’m sure we could,” Emma hugged her. *** They walked in the house and Brody took London out of Emma’s arms and held her, “I love you, London.” “Brody we can stay here for a few more days’ right?” “If that’s what you need, then of course.” Emma hugged Lexi who was almost asleep, “I love you baby.” “Mommy can Brody read me my letter?” London asked. “Sure, let me put Lexi down we can do it together,” Emma kissed her head. My sweet, sweet London, I hope this isn’t read for another fifty years or so, because I can’t imagine spending any more time away from you than I already have. I have to tell you, the day you were born was the scariest day of my life. There was this beautiful tiny little life that was part of me and part of the love of my life. I was truly intimidated by you. I felt small next to you. Your eyes shined brighter than anything I’ve ever bore witness to. Although I never dreamed there would come a day when I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night and be able to watch you sleep, the way you sucked your fingers even when you were four, the stuffed rabbit always tucked tightly in the crook of your neck and your Mommy’s hair that you had to rub between your thumb and finger to fall asleep, even when you were asleep you still had her silky hair in your hands. You are more precious than I can ever put into words. Those nights that I wasn’t there to tuck you in, I watched you and Mommy sleep. I was a pretty crappy Daddy for a while. It took seeing you through others eyes at first before I could bring myself to realize just how lucky I am, or ‘blessed’ as your Mommy would say, to have such an amazing, kind, talented, smart, beautiful, gift from God. You are my most treasured gift, London. One in which I never truly believed I deserved. Each time I see you I realize that I did, and I hope I can make up those years. I’m glad that you had Brody in your life, and although I will never tell him, it was seeing the way he loved you and knowing that was exactly how you and your Mommy deserved to be treated that made me change. He gave you Lexington, your beautiful little sister, he couldn’t have been all that bad. Our secret, alright? Knowing you’ll read this after I’m gone I want you to know my biggest wish or prayer for you is enough. I pray you’ll have enough love, enough happiness, enough belly laughs, enough smiles, enough successes, and enough good health to far outlast what I was graciously (and undeservingly at times) given from you. Enough London, I wish you enough. I Love you always and now all the way from heaven…enough to last an eternity. Love, Daddy
Emma wiped her tears from her eyes and smiled at London, “He loves you London.” London smiled as tears fell, “I know Mommy.” Brody hugged them both and put the letter in the envelope. “I want you to know that I love him for giving me you London. And when I meet him in heaven someday, I won’t tell him I know your secret okay?” Brody smiled and kissed her cheek. “Promise?” London asked. “Of course.” “Let’s read yours Mommy,” London said and sat forward, “Brody should read it to us.” Emma smiled, “Alright, Brody just use discretion.” Emma, Where does one start, I feel that apologizing for everything I put you through is a good place but it would end up being a
novel. So let’s start with I love you now and I have since the day I saw you at the campus bookstore. I remember exactly what you wore, khaki pants that fit loosely and a gray cardigan, it was over a t- shirt that fit your body like a glove. I wanted you the minute I saw you and when you returned the smile I gave you, I was hooked. Your smile Emma it’s beautiful. You made me work harder than any girl I had ever encountered. It’s almost embarrassing to think about all the times I came to the bookstore to buy trivial items just to be able to see you behind the counter working and to see you smile. You turned me down the first twenty times I asked you out to dinner but I knew I couldn’t stop. Our first date was at a diner and you ordered tea and soup, watching you sip the soup that was second best to your smile. You drove me crazy for two years and I knew there was no one else on this planet that could have been more perfect than you. I needed you to be mine forever. The phone call we received in my dorm as we studied, my father had passed away, two days before your twentieth birthday, you gave me a gift, one that I won’t ever forget. You gave me your heart in hopes to heal mine along with all of your trust. I wish you could know that was what got me through his death and I know it came at a big cost to you. Then I became possessive, jealous, and controlling, not that you ever gave me any reason to do so it was just that I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, ever. When I couldn’t give you a child a part of me died, and well, you know how I acted. But I want you to know it was my own insecurities, nothing that you did. I felt and still do that I didn’t deserve you. No matter how much you proved and showed me how you loved me, it pushed me to think. I was undeserving. You put up with so much and for that I will forever regret. I’m happy to see that smile again and my heart breaks knowing that the man who gave it back to you is gone. I will forever love you Emma, you are my one true love. You gave me you and a perfect daughter and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you deserved. Love, Troy
Emma sat looking down, “Mommy, are you alright?” “I am, I knew all that anyways,” Emma laughed, “I just wish he knew it.” Brody looked at her and smiled, “There’s another note in here, For your eyes only it says, so we should let you read it alone.” Emma took the envelope and opened it. Emma, The combination hasn’t changed, you+ me= London Keep her safe and loved always, Love, Troy
Emma read it again and again and finally put it back in the envelope and smiled, “You okay, Mommy?” “Yes baby, your Daddy’s kind of silly. I’m going to make dinner,” Emma stood and walked into the kitchen. She stood looking out the window when Brody came out he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her from behind, “Talk to me Emma. Are you alright?” “I’m just trying to figure something out that’s all,” Emma said with great distance in her voice. “Okay can I get London something quick before she passes out, she’s tired?” “I’ll make her some soup and grilled cheese, do you want the same?” Emma asked and turned around. “Do you miss him, Em?” Brody asked softly. “Well, over the past couple years I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, and the seven before that weren’t all that great. Why do you ask that?” “Soup, you’re making soup like in his letter,” Brody smiled gently. “Oh good God Brody,” Emma laughed, “It’s quick and easy.” “Okay but you can talk to me about anything, right?”
“I know, silly man,” Emma said putting the soup in the pot to heat up. “Sorry, I just...” he started. Emma turned around and kissed him, “Even he knew you were perfect for me. I love you,” she kissed him again and then handed him the note, “Read this, this is what I’m thinking about, he’s trying to tell me something. Could you get London her pain meds? Then we’ll eat and then we’ll go check out the safe.” Brody looked at her confused, “Trust me Brody, Troy was trying to tell me something. We need to get back to our home I want that computer back.” “Double O Emma’s kind of bossy and very, very, sexy,” Brody kissed her and walked away. *** The next day Emma sat on the couch playing with the computer and entered several variations of the hint that he had left. “This is insane, maybe he was just…no damn it I know him it’s a damn number. He was a numbers guy.” An hour later Brody sat and looked at the note pad she was looking at, “Emma let’s take a break.” “No damn it, we need to…” Emma started and he grabbed her and walked into the bathroom. “What are you doing Brody we need to…” “Take a break, we need to take a break Emma,” he kissed her and pulled back. Emma sat on the counter and crossed her arms and scowled at the ground. He grabbed a washcloth and washed her face and she laughed, “Shh,” he said and ran a bath. He undressed her and helped her in. He undressed and joined her. “We needed a break,” she laid back against his chest and relaxed. After they washed each other she kissed him straddling his lap. “We need this too,” she smiled. “Yeah, I think that’s a great idea, too,” Brody smiled and pushed his finger gently into her, “Always so hot and wet.” “Have you looked in the mirror Music Man? I melt just being in your presence,” Emma smiled. “Well you’ll be happy to know I won’t put you through multiple orgasms before I do this,” he said slowly pushing into her, “I need to be inside you for a long time Em, just slow okay?” Emma smiled and leaned into his neck and slowly lowered herself circling to spread herself around him. He held her up and used his fingers to circle her clit making her moan. He tugged at her nipple with his mouth and she felt her body tense up, “Brody,” she moaned and he lowered her onto him slowly rocking himself at an angle hitting her deeply causing her to come hard and loud. He covered her mouth with his to absorb the sound so the girls wouldn’t wake up. Emma sat up and smiled, “I think you just got me pregnant,” she laughed and he cocked his head to the side and looked at her curiously, “Okay we both know that’s not possible, I just thought…” she started. “I’m going to fuck you hard Em and then were going back to work.” He didn’t wait for a response he lifted her hips up and down hard and fast. Water spilled over the sides of the tub making a mess on the floor and Emma started to speak and Brody took her breast roughly in his mouth and the other in his hand calling her body to climax again as he joined her. “Damn music man,” Emma said after she caught her breath, “You just rocked my world.” “Twice,” he smirked and winked at her. “Out you go.” “Oh now you’re in a hurry, when my legs feel like rubber.” Emma laughed and grabbed them both a towel. “Love, when did you get pregnant with London?” Emma told him and he smiled, “Get that sexy ass clothed and lets go,” he said swatting her bare butt. Brody was on the couch with the laptop on his lap. “Your date of birth plus her conception date.” “Like he would remember that,” Emma laughed. “Emma he was lucky enough to have you in his life for more than fifteen years. You have no idea the
effect you had to have had on him. He loved you the best he knew how, now spill it Mrs. Hines.” Emma looked at him and shook her head, “Wow you’re smart.” “And…” Brody asked. “Sexy…” “And…” “All mine,” Emma laughed. “Always?” Brody asked. “And forever,” Emma kissed him. “We’ll wait for Clive,” Brody said in his sexy in control voice. “But…” Emma started. “No buts,” he said warning her. “Or what?” He looked at her sternly, “Enough Emma,” he sat back and took her hand. She tried to pull it away and he held tighter, she lifted it to her mouth and bit him, he laughed a deep throaty laugh, “I think you need to revisit the bathroom Emma,” he warned narrowing his eyes. “Third time could be a charm,” he grabbed her other hand and pinned her hands behind her back and straddled her and nipped her neck. Emma laughed, “You’re such an ass.” “Hmm, Emma — but I’m your ass,” he kissed her hard on the mouth. Clive cleared his throat, “Sorry Clive, I was just distracting my feisty little piece of ass,” Brody smiled and sat back down and looked at Emma and winked as her face turned red. “You ready for this Em?” he asked, “We can do this without you and I could give you a brief after.” “Shut up Brody and start the damn thing, we don’t even know what it is,” Emma grabbed his hand nervously and kissed where she bit, “Sorry,” she whispered. “Don’t be, I liked it,” he winked. The video started with Brody in that purple robe and he looked at Emma and rolled his eyes, Emma laughed. The woman in the gray robe was with him and crouched in the corner, “You may come,” he said and untied his robe, “On your knees, and don’t look at me, you haven’t earned that privilege. Now show me what you can do.” He looked down and watched her, “Slow now don’t be so greedy….much better,” He took the back of her head and held it firmly and thrust into her mouth, “That’s good, now stay still and I’m going to fuck that mouth,” he moved in and out of her mouth harshly and she started to gag a bit, he stopped, “Is there a problem? You may answer.” “No you’re just very big,” she panted. “Well does that bother you?” he asked and waited, “Answer me!” “No I find it amazing, I just want to please you master,” she answered. “Then do so, now!” he snapped and looked angry. “Easy, I said your mouth not your hands,” he moaned. “Stop now,” he said through clenched teeth, “This is not for you, but it’s now your mess to clean up” he said and pulled her head back and came on her chest. “Now go clean yourself up and you’ll be rewarded,” he demanded and she scampered away. Brody looked at Emma “Do we need to stop Em?” he asked sounding angry. “How long is this?” Emma asked and pulled her knees to her chest. “Clive,” he growled. “Another forty minutes,” Clive said with regret in his voice. The video came back on and he was fucking the gray robed woman. He finished on her back and
cleaned it up with a cloth and gently cleaned between her legs. He pulled her up and helped her put on her robe. “How do you feel?” he asked gently but still his eyes were distant. “Wonderful Master,” she said smiling down. “You deserved it, now go,” he said in a lighter tone, “I want to see you again tonight, rest up.” The next scene was of the four women from before, he was paddling and berating them for their insolent behavior. The grey robe girl was then brought in and she went to her knees and sucked him off. “See how it’s done?” He yelled at them. “Thank you pet,” he purred in her ear, “I’ll come for you later.” “Thank you Master,” she said with her head bowed. “You may all leave,” he dismissed them. The next scene was of the four women same as before all being given a second chance individually. When he finished on their chest he rewarded them. He didn’t have intercourse but instead used different tools, vibrators, beads, anal plugs, and one requested fisting. Emma stood up and ran to the bathroom and locked the door and threw up, “Em, open the door,” Brody said softly. “I’ll be out in a minute,” she said and threw up again and sat on the floor and sobbed. She heard the lock pop and Brody walked in, “I’ll finish this up when you’re in bed. I can hardly stomach it and you obviously can’t. What you must think of me Emma,” he said, his voice sounded so raw and hurt. “No, if I don’t see it I’ll wonder. I love you, even though you shoved your whole damn fist in that woman’s...” Emma stopped, “She asked for that, what the hell is wrong with people?” Emma pulled him up, “Look at me Brody.” “I may have been there Emma but that’s not…” Brody said and tears filled his eyes. “I HATE whoever it is that did this to you!” She hugged him. “They did it to us Emma. How can you move past…” Brody started and Emma kissed him. “You can’t do that Brody, don’t you do that to us please.” He took a deep breath and hugged her, “Let’s go.” The rest of the video was similar but it appeared that Brody was enjoying himself more and more with the gray robed girl, Alexandra. “You liked her,” Emma swallowed hard. “Don’t, I don’t even know her, I don’t even remember her Emma. I fucked her that’s it okay?” Brody stood up, “Let’s sleep Emma.” He pulled her up and walked to the bedroom. Emma checked on Lexi, “I’m going to sleep with London again, just in case okay?” “Sure Em,” he smiled and turned around. She stared at his back and saw him let out a breath and watched his shoulders slump and then he ran his fingers through his hair and stepped next to the bed and flopped back, “Fuck!” She walked over and sat next to him, “I thought you…” he stopped. She looked at him and began to cry and shook her head and laid next to him. They both stared at the ceiling and Brody grabbed her hand and kissed it, “Emma I’m sorry. I won’t blame you if you want to run now. That was awful and I don’t know how I would feel if I were you. I don’t know what you’re thinking Emma...I love you so much, I never would have left you to go there if I knew this was what was going to happen.” “We’ll be fine, you just can’t pull away from me Brody,” Emma whispered. “You left the room Em, I just thought...I wasn’t mad. I worry about you, about what I’ve put you through. This wasn’t what I expected to happen.”
“We need to trust each other, Stalin, this is a democracy.” “That’s shit, you’re saying that because of those fucking videos,” Brody sat up. “No I’m not,” Emma tried not to laugh as she sat up. “And now you’re fucking laughing?” Brody walked out of the room. Emma jumped up and ran into the hallway and jumped on his back, “Listen to me, it had nothing to do with the videos, it’s about the fact that you suck at the whole trusting me thing,” Emma laughed. “Emma,” he growled, “I need a moment,” he said and kept walking. “Tough,” she wrapped her arms and legs around him tighter. He walked down the stairs in silence and went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, acting completely oblivious to her being on his back. He walked into the living room, “Hey Clive,” Emma laughed. Brody sat down and pushed into her with his back, Clive looked at him and saw he was annoyed, “You got something stuck to you.” Brody gave him a dirty look and drank his water and stood up, she clung tightly to him, “Goodnight Clive,” Emma giggled. Brody went in the bathroom and stood at the toilet and pissed, “Hmm impressive,” Emma laughed looking over his shoulder. He washed his hands and walked back up the stairs into the bedroom. He sat on the bed and she didn’t let go, he laid down and rolled to his side, she stayed put and he let out a breath, “Are you quite finished?” “Are you?” “What’s the point in that?” He asked in an exasperated tone. “I’m sticking with you, Music Man. Like it or not.” “How... why...Christ Emma, it made you sick,” Brody said in a low tone that was full of sorrow and fear. Emma sat up and looked at him as he continued lying on his side with his eyes closed. “Please don’t,” she whispered. “I just need a moment Emma, just one damn moment to try and sort this out in my head,” he stood and walked into the hallway and she got ready for bed. She looked in the mirror and studied her face and then closed her eyes and sat on the ground with her back against the wall. He was pulling away, and she knew it. It was a feeling she’d grown accustomed to over the past year and a half. Not one that was welcome or deserving. Emma grew frustrated at herself, wondering what she could do to pull him off this path that she knew always led to destruction for them and when she could come up with nothing she stood and looked in the mirror, brushed her teeth, and walked out of the bathroom and walked out to check on Lexington and London one last time before heading to bed. She woke up two hours later and he wasn’t there. She checked on the girls again and walked down the stairs to find him. “Ma’am can I help you?” Rupert surprised her and she jumped and then quickly tied her robe tightly around her. “Sorry I was just wondering where Brody was,” she whispered. “In the studio, I believe Clive’s with him. I’m going to head to bed now if that’s alright with you,” he said. Emma smiled and gave a quick nod before walking to the stairs to go check on him.
CHAPTER TWELVE Clive was at the computer and Brody was pacing back and forth across the floor. “You’ve got to be kidding me?” Brody sat on the chair next to Clive’s. “I wish I was, but look at the picture, he looks like Lexi. Same skin tone, hair and eye color…” Clive said. “Well of course, but how the hell is this possible? Forget it, just get me answers damn it and I need them now!” Brody snapped startling Emma who jumped and snuck up the stairs. “How old is he?” Brody asked. “Jonathan is fifteen,” Clive answered. “I can’t do this shit to her, damn it. I need answers,” Brody slammed his fist on the desk. “I’d like permission to take off for a couple of weeks. I’ll get answers Brody, and I won’t take long,” Clive said sternly. “Alright, I know she’ll have issues if I go,” Brody whispered, “I need to speak to Elizabeth in the morning, set it up.” “I will,” Clive said softly. “Fuck,” Brody snapped and he stood up, “I should have never…” “I know,” Clive sneered. “I can’t lose her,” Brody snapped at him. “Which is worse man, she’s ass deep in this shit now. When I get back we’ll make a plan to keep you all safe,” Clive said as he made reservations online. He clicked a few more keys on the keyboard and sat back, “I leave at eight in the morning.” “Clive, I need you to look into a drug called Forget Me Not,” Brody breathed out, “I want to know if it’s the same or similar to what I was injected with.” “Of course, is it new? I have never heard of it,” Clive asked. “I am not sure, just look into it please,” Brody said goodnight and went up the stairs. *** Brody opened the door and checked on London and then Lexington, Emma was standing next to her crib watching her sleep. “Em, everything alright in here?” Brody whispered. Emma shook her head and wiped her eyes. Brody hugged her and took her hand and led her out of the room into their bedroom. “Why the tears love?” He asked softly wiping them away. Emma shrugged her shoulders and peered up at him, waiting and hoping he would tell her what was going on. “Let’s get you into bed, it’s been a very rough week,” Brody walked into the closet and brought out night clothes. Emma was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when he walked into the room, “Stop disappearing on me, it worries me.” Brody smiled but the truth was he couldn’t afford to stop worrying and he knew it. Emma looked up at him with pleading eyes, “What is it Em?” “Brody, I just wanted you to tell me…just once for you to tell me,” Emma cried and shook her head as she started out the door.
Brody grabbed her hand, “Hold up Em, you have me at a disadvantage here, I literally have no idea what you’re…” “I went to find you...stop lying to ME!” Emma sobbed. Brody pulled her tightly to him, “Are you spying on me Em?” “NO!” Emma snapped. “We can chat in the morning, it’s been one hell of a day. Were both exhausted please Emma, let’s go to bed.” “Unreal…” Emma started. “Look I’m sorry about what happened earlier, those fucking videos and all of the shit. I love you Emma, I wish, I could make it all go away. But I can’t and now I’m on the defensive with literally everything in my life. Emma I promised you a happy life, I promised you I would make sound decisions for us and our family and I’m failing miserably. This is awful and I’m trying Emma, damn it I’m trying!” Brody sat on the edge of the bed frustrated. “I’m tired, and I’m sorry Brody that you feel like you have to do all this alone. I can look past all of the ugly that’s happened, because I love you. But without,” Emma took a deep breath, “I’m tired, goodnight.” Emma climbed in bed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and laid down. Brody eventually laid next to her and pulled her into his arms and they fell asleep. *** Emma came into the kitchen and watched out the window as Brody shook Clive’s hand and Clive pulled out the driveway. Emma made tea and had two cups waiting on the counter when he walked in. “You’re up early,” he smiled at Emma. “You too,” Emma handed him a cup of tea. Emma waited for him to say something and when he didn’t she rolled her eyes and started to walk away. “Wait,” he grabbed her hand. Emma stopped and looked at him, “We have a bit of time before the girls wake up correct?” “Yes,” Emma said leaning against the counter. “Alright Em, we should discuss something,” Brody looked down and tried to figure out how to start. “I have no idea how to start…The last time I was in England one of my contacts spotted your sister visiting a family. There was a man a women and a child, well young man, about fifteen years in age. Emma, he resembles me,” Brody stopped and looked up at her. “Okay, that could be…” Emma began. “He looks like Lexington. I’m not sure what that means however Clive’s looking into it. He is going back,” Brody stopped and waited for the information to sink in. “Are you seriously thinking that our daughter who’s less than one resembles a teenage boy…Brody, you can’t possibly be serious?” “There is also the fact that she visited them, that she brought gifts, and when Clive looked into their accounts there’s been sizable deposits made monthly dating back at least seven years, Emma. I’m going to talk to your sister this morning, try to figure this out. I wanted you to know. You asked for honesty and that’s what I’m trying to give you here,” Brody ran his hands through his hair and leaned back, “I’m so fucking sorry.” “I’ll go with you, you’re not doing this…” Emma started. “No Emma you are not,” Brody said and walked to the door. “YES Brody, I am!” Emma yelled. Brody stopped and looked at her, “You need to understand a few things love…”
Emma walked out the door and up the stairs. Brody stood with his jaw dropped shocked that she walked out of the room. He walked into the bedroom, “What the hell was that?” Emma turned sharply and glared at him, “Really what was that…God, you’re so…God!” Brody scowled at her and she returned the look. “Do you realize right down there you…uugghh…you spoke to me in the same damn tone the first time you were at Lila’s you self- righteous, arrogant, self- absorbed…ASS!” Emma turned and walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Brody opened the door and walked in with his hands on his hips looking at her. “What?” She snapped. He didn’t reply. “Just go! It’s not like anything I have to say means beans to you buddy, so just GO!” Emma snapped and walked to the kitchen and started cooking breakfast. Brody followed her into the kitchen, “Em please understand…” “No you understand, you don’t have…” Emma took a deep breath and stared out the window, “Brody just go.” Emma walked into the bathroom and locked the door. She heard him leave and she cried. She washed her face and pulled herself together and grabbed her phone and dialed it. “Hey Tessa, you still want to go on vacation?...Great, were in, the sooner the better,” Emma said softly, “I think all of this, Troy’s death, Brody’s disappearance, all of it is connected. I could really use someone to talk to, someone I can trust…great. Thanks…see you then.” *** Emma was packing when Brody walked into the bedroom, “What are you doing Em?” “Well, I’m going to take the girls and go away for a while. You’re going through whatever you’re going through, and can’t talk to me about it and Brody I’m scared and very much alone. I just want to take them somewhere safe. I would love to think you could be part of this, but I just…Brody I know you don’t take what I say seriously and that you don’t trust me with...None of this is coming out right…” Emma blinked her eyes holding back tears. “Can we talk Em or are you just going to take off?” Brody closed his eyes waiting for her to reply. “Go ahead Brody, whatever you want to tell me. I’m listening,” Emma sat on the bed and looked up at him. “I saw your sister. She said the child is a friend of hers that passed away and she’s helping his adoptive family because she promised she would, I don’t buy it. She’s afraid which scares me, I have no idea what she may possibly do. Clive’s going to dig a bit and get some samples for DNA comparisons to be done. My father’s dead, London’s father’s dead, I don’t believe they were accidents. There are holes in the months I was missing and I’m not getting answers fast enough. I’m not going to the police; my foundation, my career, our children, everything Em, would be destroyed. My biggest nightmare would come true, my privacy, your privacy, and that of our children, would be shot to hell. I’m going to figure this out. I promise you, I’m going figure it out,” Brody waited for Emma to respond as she continued looking down, “Nothing Em? Really — you have nothing to say?” “What a mess,” she whispered. “I’m very sorry,” Brody shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” tears fell from Emma’s eyes. “Do you love me Em?” Brody asked kneeling in front of her. “Of course I do, but…” Emma began. “No buts, Love. Trust me to fix this, please trust me to make this better for all of us,” Brody took her
hands and kissed them, “I love you Em, I Always will.” Emma closed her eyes and wiped her tears. “And forever. You did not say it,” Brody began to stand and Emma looked up at him. “Brody, do you think that child is yours?” she whispered. “I’m not sure Em, but I have to find out,” Brody looked at her. “Will you hate him, will you hate me?” “No, of course not. I just don’t know how you’ll explain…” Emma stopped and looked at him. Brody’s eyes were wide and he looked terrified, she felt his hands shake slightly and held them tighter, “If you walk — I’ll understand, it may even keep those little ones safer, but you must know that I love all of you more than I do myself Em.” Emma gasped and threw her arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly, “I love you. I love you so very much.” “Emma if you’re leaving me…” Brody whispered, “I understand.” “No, no, no,” Emma cried. “Alright Love alright,” he rubbed her back. “You’re going back there…” Emma cried softly. “No Emma, I’m going to figure out what needs to be done to ensure your safety and that of our children’s first. And then there’s a possibility,” he hugged her tighter, “This isn’t just going to go away on its own, it’s much bigger than I first feared.” “What do we do Brody?” Emma whispered against his neck. “You should take the girls wherever you had been planning. I’ll meet you when I can, when I know it’s…safe,” Brody shuttered. “Ok, I will. Brody you’re not going back there right? Promise me,” Emma began to pull away and he held her tighter. “Not yet Em. I can’t promise I won’t though. Again, whatever it takes to keep you all safe, don’t ask me to do otherwise,” Brody kissed her head and looked down at her. *** Emma pulled into the driveway and was greeted by Tomas, Collin’s equivalent to Clive. He carried their bags into the house and then took Lexington’s carrier out of her hand and Emma carried sleeping London to the room they would be staying in. “Is that all ma’am?” Tomas asked. “Yes, thank you.” “They’ll be arrive tomorrow late evening, I’ll be here until then. Anything you need please let me know,” Tomas left the room. Emma tried to call Brody and there was no answer. She sent him a text telling him they’d arrived safely and asked that he call her. She watched the hours pass on the clock as she waited to hear from Brody. *** Emma lay in bed tossing and turning when she heard a commotion from outside the room. She reached into her bag and pulled out the gun she used for target practice and turned on an air purifier to muffle the sound so that the girls would sleep through whatever it was that was going on in the other room. Emma opened the door slowly and took a deep breath and tried to stop her hands from shaking. She heard the loud smash of something glass and stepped into the hallway. Emma closed the door quietly behind her and took a few deep breathes. She wanted to call for Tomas but she couldn’t find her voice. The room the noise came from was dark and she heard two distinct male voices and what sounded
like a physical fight. She reached around the corner and flipped on the light switch and saw Brody and Tomas struggling on the floor. Brody was trying to reach for the gun that was near them. “Em, get back,” he shouted. “No Brody stop, Tomas don’t,” she kicked the gun away before either could reach it. Brody looked confused and Tomas jumped up and grabbed the gun and stood beside Emma. “Get the fuck away from her!” Brody yelled as Emma ran to him. “Brody what are you doing here?” Emma was shaking uncontrollably as Brody pulled her into his arms and took the gun, “Please stop.” Emma wrapped her arms around Brody and began to sob, “Who is this Emma?” “Brody its Tomas, he works for Collin and Tessa. You met him at the Cape,” Emma said looking up at him. Tomas still had his gun drawn, “Ma’am, do you trust him?” “Of course I do,” Emma continued to shake and Tomas lowered his weapon. “Brody what are you doing?” He continued looking at Tomas and was clearly confused, “You met him at the Cape, Brody.” “Okay Em, I’m sorry,” he held her tighter. “Hand me the weapon Hines, slowly,” Tomas instructed. Brody slowly gave him the gun. Tomas locked the door that led to the outside. “What is going on?” Emma whispered. “Shh love it’s alright,” Brody kissed her head. “No it’s not, why did you not call or text? Why don’t you remember Tomas?” Emma asked nervously. Tomas stood waiting for an answer, Brody knew he wouldn’t leave the room without one. “We had a break in last night after you left. Elizabeth’s missing. Where’s Rupert?” He asked looking around. “He was with you, we decided I would be safer…Brody?” Emma hugged him tighter. “He was supposed to be here, I sent him here,” Brody grabbed his phone and tried to call him, there was no answer. “Its safe here ma’am,” Tomas sat behind a desk and continued typing on his computer. “Brody, please talk to me. Do you know what could have happened tonight? You didn’t remember him?” Emma asked concerned. “It was dark,” he looked away. “No Brody, even after the lights were on. Don’t withhold information from me!” Emma snapped and pulled away still shaking. “Em, not now,” he said still looking at Tomas. “Yes now!” “Em, I…I’ve been having some episodes,” he whispered. “What do you mean?” Emma asked shocked. “Blackouts, they don’t last long and normally it’s like my nightmares, but not tonight,” Brody looked angry. “How often Brody?” Emma demanded. “More lately,” Brody said looking in her eyes. “Why haven’t you told me, how have I not noticed?” Emma said sadly. “Em, don’t do that to yourself. I’ve had Clive and Rupert, they’ve…” He began. “Rupert knows?” Emma gasped. “It was to keep you safe Em. It was the only way I knew how to let Clive go and to still be here and keep you safe,” Brody tried to explain, “FUCK!” Emma grabbed his hand, “We’ll be okay Brody. We’ll figure it all out.”
“Em, it’s late. I miss the girls. Let’s go get some sleep,” Brody said and hugged her. Brody followed her into the bedroom and held her until she shook and snuck out of the room. Tomas was sitting at his desk and looking at him cautiously. “I’m sorry,” Brody sat with his hands in his hair. “Alright,” Tomas said and continued typing. “I need to move them in the morning…” Brody began. “Mr. Abraham’s working on it,” Tomas interrupted, “He’ll be here…” “No, it’ll put you all in danger,” Brody snapped. “We’re aware of that. He’s working on it. He’ll be here in the morning to discuss it with you. In the meantime there’s another room down the hall, it would probably be best if you slept in there. I’ll be out here to ensure all of your safety. There are security cameras everywhere here. I have two men who will be outside securing the perimeter. I’ve been researching some things. I have a question, are you familiar with a drug called Forget Me Not?” Tomas asked and handed him a printout. “I think I am,” Brody let out a deep breath and sat back. “I think you need to look into it. In the meantime trust us, we’ve been researching a few things since Mrs. Abraham’s cousin’s death. Mr. Abraham will discuss it with you in the morning. Please get some rest.” Tomas smiled softly at him. Brody walked down the hall and entered the room and sat on the bed. He set his alarm to ensure he was awake before Emma and the girls. For once he felt safe enough to fall asleep. He laid down and moments after his head hit the pillow he drifted off.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Brody woke and looked around confused. He sat up, looked at his phone and then noticed Emma sleeping in the chair at the end of the bed. He watched her slow steady breaths and stood up and quietly walked to her. When he got close she jumped startled and just looked at him. “Are you okay?” She asked nervously. “Em,” reaching for her pulling her close holding her tightly. Emma looked at him, “I love you Brody please don’t …” Brody kissed her and held her face gently, “I love you more, Em.” She kissed him, “I need you Brody,” Emma said and began to cry. “Then have me,” Brody lifted her up kissing her as he gently laid her on the bed. His hands cupped her face as his kisses deepened. His tongue lightly caressed her lips as he pulled her hair away from her damp face and he kissed away her tears. Emma pulled his shirt off and kissed his neck as he pulled her nightgown over her head. His hands lightly skimmed her breast causing her to whimper. His mouth moved down her neck and his hand down her belly. She gripped him lightly and he pushed into her hand and groaned. Emma wrapped her legs around him. Taking her breast in his mouth as he pushed into her. He slowly moved in and out of her as he kissed her mouth and kneaded her breasts. “I love you so damn much, it hurts.” Brody kissed her deeper. Emma looked at him and his face was full of desire and pain, not a combination that she was used to. He pulled her up so that they both were sitting and their bodies moved as she held his face to hers, “I love you more.” His thrusts began to accelerate she continued to hold onto him tightly. Emma felt the burn in her belly moving slowly down she began to whimper. She arched her back pushing harder against him as she climaxed he moved his hips in circles making her orgasm last even longer causing him to follow. “Not possible Love,” he held her against him. *** Emma and Brody were making breakfast when Collin walked into the house. Emma looked down, “I’m so sorry.” “Emma don’t be. I’m here to offer some help. I would first like to talk to your husband if that’s ok,” Collin smiled. Emma fed the kids and Brody followed Collin into the bedroom. “I know you’re going through some challenges, I want to offer some help and would like a little more information if you’re willing.” Collin sat and opened a file, “We looked into Troy’s death. I don’t believe it was an accident. The way the car hit the tree indicates they were forced…” “London said they were followed and hit from the back. I believe it was Elizabeth, I just don’t know how she could have done this alone,” Brody said softly. “And the fact that you were held captive, for at least part of the time correct?” Brody nodded. “And drugged. Did anyone take blood work when you surfaced to see what type of drug was in your system?” “I have Clive working on that in England, I’ve been having some episodes.” “Yes Tomas mentioned that, he also gave you information on a newer drug that’s surfaced, today’s
version of LSD. I’d like to take a few samples of your blood to run a tox screen,” Collin looked up at him and Brody nodded in agreement. There was a knock on the door and Tomas entered and whispered something in Collins ear. “Damn it, thank you Tomas,” Collin took deep breath and sat back. Brody watched him gather his thoughts. “Brody, Tessa and I would like to take Emma and the girls away for a while. They’ll be safe with us…” Collin began. “No, you won’t be safe, this is my mess…” Brody said. “We will be and so will they. We wanted you to come as well however some things have just come to light and I think it’s best if we get you out of here for a while,” Collin looked at Brody who was confused. “Rupert and his wife Ann were found dead about five miles from your home. The police are looking for you.” “They’re what?” Brody gasped. “Do you remember what happened yesterday?” Collin asked grabbing a recording device. “We had a break in, I told Rupert to go to Emma. He and Ann left, I packed a bag,” Brody continued searching his thoughts, “I ended up here, I tracked her phone.” “Do you remember them leaving?” “No. DAMN IT!” Brody pounded his fist on the desk. “Okay, you’re going to go with Tomas, he’s going to take you to Clive. I promise your family will be safe,” Collin looked at Brody. “I can’t leave her again,” Brody whispered, “She won’t understand, and London…” “Brody, someone killed Troy and we believe your father as well, what’s the status on his accident?” Collin asked leaning forward looking him in the eyes. “There are video tapes,” Brody began. Brody told him everything he knew. Including the possibility of a fifteen year old child being his with Elizabeth. He gave him an SD card containing all the information. “We have some things, letters…” Brody was interrupted by a knock and Tomas entered. “Speak freely Tomas,” Collin said looking at the computer. “Mrs. Hines has several calls from a Zackary Taylor, she hasn’t answered them,” Tomas said. “Why is he calling my wife?!” “Bring her in and then get to work. A boat from the Keys and then a plane from the Islands, like yesterday Tomas. Brody, you need to let her know what’s going on,” Collin sat back and looked at his phone. Emma came in and sat nervously next to Brody who was shaking his head. Collin gave Emma all the information and left the room. “They think you killed them Brody?” Emma looked at him. “It appears that way. Christ, Em,” Brody sat forward and hugged her, her body tensed up, “Emma you think I did it?” “No…but you don’t remember…No Brody,” Emma threw her arms around him. Brody pulled back and held her head as he stared in her eyes, “Emma?” “This is…you’re leaving again…” Emma cried. “I have no choice Emma,” Brody cleared his throat and sat back, “Do you trust him?” “Yes, yes of course. But I want to go with you…” Emma whispered. Brody looked at her, she could tell he was toying with the idea and then the invisible shield lowered over his eyes, “Our children need you. They need you Emma. Not me, and this shit I’ve brought to their lives, to your life…” “I need you Brody, I need you don’t...don’t you see?” she held his face in her hands, “We ALL need
you!” Brody closed his eyes and kissed her hands lightly and pulled away, “Not like this you don’t. If, when I come back Emma, I’m going to come back to you one hundred percent the man you fell in love with. I won’t come back any other way.” “NO! No you don’t get to decide that, we can go to the police Brody, they’ll see…” Collin walked in the room. “Emma, your husband’s being set up. If he stays, he goes to prison, if we don’t get answers you’ll live in fear for the rest of your life…” Collin began. “Without him, oh my God Brody, I can’t lose you again. Please let’s all just go, please,” she cried. “I won’t allow us to live that way Emma, not in fear or hiding. You are my sun…they are my stars…” Emma hugged him tightly and sobbed quietly into his shoulder. “Emma, I just had a chat with London, she’s very excited to go spend some time with her cousins. Brody needs to be strong so that this can be figured out. You need to be stronger, understand?” Collin asked. Emma nodded her head yes, “She knows Brody’s going away for work and seems a little concerned, you have to be strong for her. Brody we have a very small window of time to get you out of here undetected. Tomas made arrangements with Clive. You leave in an hour.” *** London stood hugging Brody as he held Lexington, “When will you be back?” “Well I’m not positive but hopefully not too long,” Brody kissed her nose. “But you are coming back right?” London asked as tears welled in her eyes. Brody hugged her tightly, “Yes.” He looked up at Emma who was holding her hands to her chest trying her best to keep it together. “Hey London, let’s go in and return the hundreds of calls from your cousins who are very excited to see you,” Collin patted her head. “Okay,” London wiped her eyes, “I love you Brody.” “I love you...” he began. “More,” London laughed, “I said it first!” “But I mean it with all my heart London,” Brody hugged her again. “We both do,” she smiled up at him, “Okay let’s roll, Collin.” Emma closed her eyes and let out a slow cleansing breath and Brody kissed Lexi before handing her to Collin. “I love you Em,” he grabbed her and held her tightly. “Always?” she asked softly. “And forever,” he kissed her sweetly. Brody walked to the car and Tomas drove down the driveway and out of sight. Emma walked down the driveway and cried until she saw a car coming, she saw two men walk out from the woods and nod to her. She walked back towards the house as the car pulled in the driveway. When she got to the door Collin and another man walked out with the kids and their bags. “Hey Mom, change of plans,” London hugged her. They all got into the car with another following them. They drove about two hours and pulled into a small airport and boarded a plane. “Sweet ride huh?” London laughed. “Very nice,” Emma smiled as she tightened London’s seat belt. An hour into the flight and London and Lexi were fast asleep. “You should try to sleep Emma,” Collin patted her knee. “I can’t,” Emma began to cry.
“We’re going somewhere safe, Brody has Clive and a couple others he has yet to meet,” Collin winked, “He’s going to be safe as well.” Emma thanked him and sat back and fell asleep. “Mrs. Hines, we’re here,” Tomas whispered. “Thank you Tomas.” “Please be sure the location device your phone isn’t on, just to be safe,” Tomas carried the bags from the plane to a car. *** After talking to Tessa and Collin she was trying to clear her head enough to try to sleep. She hadn’t heard from Brody and was very worried. Her phone rang and she answered it quickly. “Emma, this is Zack,” she heard on the other end. “Hello,” she was confused as to why he had been calling. “I’ve tried to call you all day, what the hell is going on with Brody?” Zack asked. “I don’t know what you mean…” she answered as he interrupted. “Are you okay? Is he with you? Do you know what he’s done?” Zack snapped. “I’m sorry but I don’t want to…” He cut her off again. “Are you alright?” “Yes.” “Is he there with you?” Zack asked again. “No,” she said firmly. “Are you in danger?” “Zack, I’m confused as to what you need from me.” “I thought we were friends. I need to know that you’re alright and safe,” he said firmly. “I’m safe, I don’t know where Brody is and I can assure you he has done nothing …” Emma started to respond. “Have you watched the news Emma?” “No,” Emma whispered. “Do so please, and then call me back after you’ve processed it all,” Zack instructed. *** Emma sat in the brick home on a remote British Island of Foula. Tessa had explained to her that it was a place they wanted to visit, a place that had very few residents, a place that one could look around and feel at peace in a time of war if they allowed themselves to take in its breathtaking views. Emma opened up the computer she was told had a secure connection and searched Brody’s name. She read the article published in the Post and cried. It didn’t look good. Their home had been searched revealing evidence of a struggle. Blood was found in the kitchen that matched Ann’s and Brody was nowhere to be found. The police were asking for help in locating Brody and Emma Hines so that they could question them. Lila had been asked for a comment, “As we all know Brody Hines was missing for several months, there’s still an ongoing investigation with the London authorities as well as the ISA into what happened to him over the eight month period he was missing. He was treated inhumanely while he was away. Little by little and day by day, parts of the pieces are being put back together. I can promise you that he’s not capable of committing such a heinous crime. The victims were a dearly loved part of their family. I’ve not spoken to him or his wife yet but I assure you when I do, I will give you whatever information I can without hindering the ongoing investigations.”
Emma looked up as Tessa entered the room, “You okay, Emma?” “No this is awful, and now I fear Lila will be in danger,” Emma said quietly. “Collin has someone watching her and your parents, they’ll all be fine,” Tessa smiled softly. “How can I ever repay…” Emma began to cry. “We’re family Emma, this is what we do,” Tessa hugged her. “From what Collin’s said, Brody didn’t ask for any of this. He tried to bring your sister home, he loves you and he’s amazing with London. If she can’t have Troy I’m happy she has him. We’ll figure this all out.” “This isn’t fair to you or your family, it’s putting you in danger,” Emma said apologetically. Tessa smiled, “I have a story to tell you.” Tessa and Emma sat for an hour and discussed Collin’s past and how he overcame abuse, neglect, and when he was twelve killed a man trying to save his sister from being sexually abused “Your Brody reminds me a bit of Collin,” Tessa smiled, “when all of this gets worked out I know you two are be so wrapped up in each other, nothing will tear you apart.” “As long as I can unwrap the armor he’s been building around him Tessa, sometimes I just don’t know…I’m scared that next time I see him it’ll be unbreakable,” Emma sighed and sat back and took a sip of her tea.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN It’s been a week since Brody left his family. He was staying in a small hostel in London’s south end. During the day he and Clive went through police reports and surveillance footage. They agreed that Elizabeth would surface soon, she was still running and from what they had been able to piece together with the help of some of Collin’s people, she would run in this direction. “This is the house?” Brody asked as they passed a small quaint home in a more rural area outside of south London. “Yes, from what we figure they’ll return home in about ten minutes,” Clive pulled over just a few feet away from the home. Brody tapped his foot nervously on the floor of the car, anxiously awaiting the first site of the young man who could possibly be his. They watched through binoculars as the three people entered the house. “He’s tall, same hair. Christ Clive,” Brody sat back and grabbed his hair. “You can’t go to him Brody, not until we have answers,” Clive said trying to calm him down. “And we’re sure he’s Elizabeth’s child?” Brody asked for the tenth time. “Yes ninety nine point nine percent, your results will be here in a few days,” Clive looked at Brody who was chewing his fingernail. The boy walked out of the house as a car pulled down the road. He walked down the road with his shoulders turned in and his hands shoved in his pockets. “Clive,” Brody sneered. “I know, we need answers first. Positive proof Brody,” Clive watched as the car seemed to be slowing in front of the boy’s home. Two men jumped out with assault rifles and quickly crossed the street. Brody started to open the door as the men began firing at the house. The boy turned and started running towards the house and Brody grabbed him around the waist and opened the door and threw him in the backseat, he slid in behind him, “Clive GO!” The boy sat in shock and put his head in his hands and brought his knees to his chest hiding his face, “Please sir, please don’t hurt me.” “You’re safe,” Brody grabbed him pulling him into his arms, “I won’t let anything happen to you.” They heard another car speeding behind them, Brody turned and watched the car smash into the black sedan that the gunmen had exited. A woman stumbled out of the driver’s seat and the gunman opened fire. The boy turned to look and he screamed, “No!” Brody looked back just as Elizabeth’s body fall to the ground as bullets continued to be pumped into her body. “CLIVE!” Brody screamed. “I have to get the both of you out of here,” Clive snapped and hit the accelerator. Brody pulled the boy’s head down into his chest and watched as two cars pulled up and more men jumped out shooting the armed men in the knees bringing them down. Clive drove past the hostile and continued to a small airstrip an hour outside of town. Brody held the shaking boy trying to comfort him, “We need to get going…what’s your name?” “Maddox, my name’s Maddox,” he said softly. “Maddox, I’m Brody,” he smiled. The boy finally looked up at him, “Brody Hines?”
“Yes, Elizabeth’s my sister in-law, I’m going to make sure you’re safe,” Brody opened the door and they both got out, “This is Clive.” “Hello sir,” Maddox said looking down. “We’re going to take a flight, just a short hour away, okay?” Clive asked. “I’ve never flown,” Maddox said entering the plane. “Well this is a great first time experience, this is a private plane,” Brody said rubbing his back and smiling, “Try to rest?” Maddox looked up at him and swallowed hard, “I’m not sure that I’ll be able to.” “Try. You’re safe and when we land hopefully I’ll have some answers for you.” Brody grabbed him and hugged him tightly. When Brody finally released him Maddox looked at him, “I love your music, I’ve listened to it in the library.” Brody smiled, “Well, we’ll get you your own copies.” “I don’t think they’ll allow it, they don’t let me listen to music,” his eyes teared up, “I was on my way to the library when…” “Okay but you’re with me now Maddox, you’re safe son. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you that way,” Brody eyes felt hot, “Would you like a drink?” “Yes please,” Maddox answered. “Soda, water, or tea?” Brody asked turning away so that he could try to keep himself together. “I’m allowed soda?” “Absolutely,” Brody let out a breath. “Then I would love one, we’re only allowed…” Maddox stopped. “It’s going to be alright,” Brody sat next to him and handed him a soda and looked at him. “People tell me I resemble you,” Maddox smiled and shook his head. “I would have to agree Maddox,” Brody smiled at him. *** The plane touched down and Maddox looked out the window, “Its dark.” “It is,” Brody smiled at him. They walked into a small house in the middle of an open field. Collin looked up from a pile of paperwork. “Hello Brody,” he smiled. “Collin, this is Maddox. Maddox, this man has been helping us,” Brody patted his back. “And I’m going to continue to. Come sit and eat, Tessa and Emma cooked all afternoon.” “Are they here?” Brody asked. “Not far from here,” Collin smiled. Maddox and Brody ate, “May I have another soda?” Brody laughed, “You sure can.” Maddox showered and changed into some of Brody’s clothes and went to sleep with a guard outside his door. “Emma’s on her way, she’ll be here in about ten minutes,” Collin smiled at Brody, “When she gets here we’ll discuss everything that went on and how to proceed.” Brody walked out of the bathroom toweling off his hair and there Emma stood looking at him with tears in her eyes. He dropped the towel on the back of the chair and walked towards her and smiled, “Em.” They held each other and she cried, “Thank God you’re okay.” He pulled back and kissed her softly on the lips, “Yes, thank God.”
*** “Our contacts within the London Police departments say evidence from your father’s accident scene was been tampered with. The officers on duty have given statements saying they believe it was foul play. We’ve also learned that your shirt with the slashes from the stab wounds were found near Birdcage walk by the River Thames are authentic. It was a lot of blood, and was absolutely yours. Brody, you’re lucky to be alive. The blood work that we collected from you shows similar chemicals to the drug that’s street name is Forget Me Not. Higher amounts of some of the components could definitely have long term effects such as memory loss or blackouts. Our people in the States, after further review of the accident and Troy’s car, believe he was forced off the road, it wasn’t an accident. The timing of Rupert and Ann’s death compared to when you and Tomas had a scuffle would easily be pinned on you if you’d driven at least eighty miles an hour the entire trip. Lucky for us the highway patrol was out in full force and there’s no way you would have made it undetected. Your security cameras were briefly offline during the break in but back up when you entered and exited your home, so proving that you weren’t involved should be easy enough. You should also know that Elizabeth can absolutely be connected to Troy’s death as well of Rupert and Ann’s. We believe there’s a possibly she was even involved in your father’s Brody,” Collin patted his back and sat. Brody visibly relaxed and sat back, Emma jumped up and hugged him tightly, “I knew you couldn’t ever do that Brody.” “Now before we can sit back and completely think we are off free and clear we should discuss what happened in London. Brody, I’m going to give you and Emma a few moments to discuss it. There are three men outside and three at the other property. I would like to have you two stay here tonight. We have the girls covered. Get some sleep, we leave early afternoon,” Collin stood and walked out the door. Emma smiled and sat on Brody’s lap, “We’re going to be okay Brody.” She kissed him hard on the mouth and he kissed her back, “Em we still need to talk before…” “Not tonight Brody please,” she kissed him softer. They held one another tightly kissing when they heard someone clear their throat, “Please excuse me, I’m terribly sorry.” “No, don’t be sorry Maddox, I want you to meet Emma,” Brody looked at Emma and closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. “Hello Emma, I’m Maddox,” Emma smiled at him and shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” Emma said slightly confused. Brody stood up, “Maddox can I get you something? Is everything alright?” “Everything’s fine, I’m just a bit thirsty,” he looked at Emma and nervously around the room. Emma looked at him and was shocked at the resemblance. The way he looked, the way he stood, spoke, down to his smile. She stared at him in wonder. “Em,” Brody said taking her hand breaking her stare. She looked at Maddox and his eyes where wide and his face showed confusion, “Oh Maddox, I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she hugged him tightly and his body tensed. Emma let go and smiled, “And look I’ve done it again.” “No, I’m just not used to all the...hugging, I wasn’t raised with affection,” Maddox confessed. “Well that’s going to change, we’re going to show you so much love,” Emma hugged him again and began to cry. “Em,” Brody smiled, “Love, we all need rest because tomorrow…” Brody began. “Oh tomorrow you get to meet your sisters and Maddox they are going to love you so very much,” Emma stepped back wiping her eyes. Maddox looked even more confused and Brody closed his eyes and sighed.
“What have I done?” Emma asked. “Maddox we should all have a seat and talk about a few things,” Brody pulled out a chair. “Brody, he doesn’t…” Emma whispered. “No Em but it’s alright,” Brody kissed her head. Maddox sat and stared at him and then at Emma. “Maddox I have no idea how to do this other than to jump right in. Were you aware Elizabeth’s your mother?” Brody asked. “Yes,” Maddox looked at the floor, “But she wasn’t able to care for me.” “Okay, there’s a great possibility that I may be your father…” Brody began. “But Emma is my Aunt?” Maddox asked, “And you’re too young.” “Brody may I?” Emma asked. “Please,” he said softly. “He didn’t know her long, she was kidnapped when she was very young Maddox, and they met in London and had a brief relationship. Brody and I met in the States. He came back when he thought he knew her, with your grandfather Henry. She returned to us and, well…we just found out about you.” Emma smiled. “Are you sure?” Brody smiled, “We can do blood work, DNA testing if you want Maddox, but I’m looking at a reflection of myself, and in my heart I know.” Maddox looked at him, “She never told you?” “No,” Brody answered sadly. “She’s dead,” Maddox whispered. Emma looked at Maddox and then at Brody. “We’ll know more in the morning,” Brody rubbed his knee and looked at Emma who sat in shock. “She didn’t know?” Maddox asked. “It’s okay Maddox, we’ll all get through this together,” Emma hugged him again. Maddox didn’t tense up this time, he slowly wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. After another hour of talking they all decided to go to bed. “Em, I’m …are we okay?” Brody asked as he sat in bed. “Yes,” she smiled. “You’re not angry about Maddox?” “Brody, of course not, he’s…he looks and acts just like you,” she hugged him. “And you’re not concerned about how we’ll tell London?” “No, she’ll be okay,” Emma laid her head on his chest. “And Elizabeth, are you okay?” he asked. “No, but we have to be stronger than before, for him.” “You won’t resent him?” Emma sat up quickly and looked at him, “Brody, do you resent London?” “Of course not,” he sat up, “This is Elizabeth’s child, she’s…” “She was my sister Brody, who lived through hell. I think we should protect him from as much as we can.,” Emma held his face, “He’s a part of you.” “I love you Em, so much,” Brody kissed her and they held each other tightly. *** Brody woke up and Emma wasn’t next to him, he jumped out of the room. “Are you okay?” Emma jumped up and ran towards him. Brody held her tightly, “I am, Em...you were gone.”
“Sorry, I may have woken her up. My stomach,” Maddox stood up, “I’ll go back to bed.” Maddox started towards the room he was been sleeping in. “Maddox, you’re fine come back here,” Emma smiled and walked back towards the couch. “No that’s fine, I apologize for waking you. I feel better now,” he said softly. “Are you sure Maddox?” “Come sit for a few more minutes and then we can try to get you something to eat, saltines may settle your stomach,” Emma smiled. After he’d eaten a few crackers and drank some water Maddox said good night again and went to bed. Brody looked at Emma, “Thank you for taking care of him, do you think he has the stomach bug?” “No Brody, I think he’s fond of soda,” Emma smiled, “I came out for a drink and he and Tomas were at the table and there were three empty cans in front of him.” “Well they apparently didn’t allow him,” Brody began. “I heard,” Emma laughed, “But we have to make sure we teach him sometimes too much of a good thing isn’t all that good.” “By the color of his face I fear he’s learned that on his own,” Brody chuckled. “He’ll be alright,” Emma hugged Brody. “We talked about Elizabeth a bit. He met her when he was ten and only saw her a few times a year, apparently she let him drink soda.” Brody looked at Emma’s face searching, “Are you okay, Em?” “No,” Emma began to cry, “I feel awful about…” “Em, you didn’t do this. You…God Em,” he hugged her. “I hated her, the past few months I hated her,” she whispered against his neck. “Before that Em, before all the horrible events that occurred, how did you feel?” Brody kissed her head and rubbed her back. “I loved her, I missed her and I didn’t even know her. This is so awful. My parents Brody, they’re going to be broken all over again,” Emma cried. Brody held her and she looked up at him. His eyes were distant again and his face pained. “Brody are you okay? I mean it’s a loss for you and …” Emma stopped, “I’m sorry for your loss Brody.” “If I hadn’t found her I wouldn’t have found my son Em. But I never would have put you or them through this hell. We need to sleep, let’s go,” Brody stood and walked towards the room. He looked back and Emma still sat on the couch, “Are you coming?” Emma stood and walked towards him, “Don’t pull away Brody, your armor’s up, please we need to be strong, but not like this. I love you, please don’t do this.” Brody scowled and looked down. Emma took his hand and held his face with her other hand. “I’m not pulling away Emma, I’m bracing myself,” he said and kissed her hand, “Let’s go…” “For what, bracing yourself for what?” Emma gasped. Brody walked her into the room and shut the door behind him, “I need you.” Brody kissed her with urgency, she pulled back, “I need you Brody, but…” “Talk later please Em, I need to know,” he kissed her again. “Know what?” Emma moaned as he laid on top of her and pulled her top up and took her breast in his mouth. “Brody, we need to…” Emma started, “Oh God.” Brody tore her panties off and his fingers pressed into her, “Em, you, my God.” He quickly moved on top of her and slowly pushed into her, “Am I hurting you?” Emma closed her eyes and kissed him. Brody thrust deeply into her as she clung to his shoulders, hiding her face in his chest. He bent to kiss her, “Oh Em, I’m so sorry.”
He pulled out and she gasped, “Brody damn it.” “I hurt you,” he scolded himself. “No, not like that Brody,” Emma sat up, “Here, it hurts here.” She held his hand to her chest, “Okay Em.” Brody kissed her lightly and massaged her breast, “Better?” “Oh Brody,” Emma whispered sadly. He moved into her again slower. “You feel like heaven Em,” he kissed her gently, “I love you so much.” *** Emma sat and watched him sleep hugging herself tightly. Can’t he see? I could never walk away. She buried her head in her knees and wiped her tears away with a tissue. “Em,” Brody sat up, “Why are you crying?” “I don’t know...where I went wrong Brody.” Emma closed her eyes. “Emma, don’t blame yourself for all this, it was me damn it,” he snapped. Emma looked at him and let out a breath, “You need to know what Brody? You said you need to know.” “Could we not, please,” he looked down. “No, answer me Brody,” Emma demanded. “That you still want me Emma, that you still want me. If I can please you…” Brody started. “Brody, here,” she held his hand to her heart again, “My heart Brody belongs to you.” “You no longer desire me?” “Of course, Brody that’s not…” she began. “Em, I overstepped I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, I just thought…” “That if I have sex with you?” Emma scowled. “Make love Em,” Brody scowled back. Emma threw herself back on the bed in frustration. “I’m sorry,” he stood and walked towards the door and Emma threw a pillow at him. “Em,” he turned and gave her a warning look. “You’re an ass,” she sneered. “That...” “Shut up and listen to me! I love you, I love you when you’re in me and when you’re not. I love the way you love me, be it in bed or in the middle of the street. My heart Brody, it hurts when I see that shift in you, your armor. It’s as if you don’t get it, that you don’t believe me. I’m failing you and I don’t want that to happen not ever,” Emma cried into a pillow. “Answer me this Em, is this the life you signed on for with me? This isn’t fucking happy, and there’s no damn fairytale to be seen in a distant land either Emma. So if we’re comparing failures I think I take the cake, love. So this Armor is for self- preservation love. I need it for when you walk away, okay Emma there you have it,” he sneered. “Is that what you want, is that what you’re waiting for Brody?” Emma gasped. “It’s going to happen anyway, and I can assure you I’ll be the one …he never put you through the hell I have Emma and you walked. With all this, I’m expecting you to fucking run,” he snapped. “It was different Brody don’t you see…” Emma sat up. “He cheated, I cheated, he didn’t put you first, neither am I. He won idiot of the year, and me? I won for the whole damn decade,” Brody sneered. Emma closed her eyes and tried not to laugh. “This isn’t funny Emma,” Brody stepped towards her.
“Brody it was …okay yes you win idiot of the decade,” Emma giggled. “Thanks Em,” Brody turned away and stood to walk away. “Get back here or I’ll jump on your back again, and then you’ll be walking around with me on your back in front of all those people and I’m half naked.” “It’s alright for you to change the subject by side tracking me with sex Emma but not if I do?” Brody snapped. “You need to…” Emma grinned. “Em,” he warned. “Okay sit please Brody, just sit,” Emma patted the bed beside her and he sat. Brody looked at her with his arms crossed and eyebrow raised. “This needs to stop,” she said rubbing the crease in his eyebrow down. She uncrossed his arms and looked at him, “Much better.” He looked at her and closed his eyes and hugged her. “I love you Brody,” she said rubbing his back, “Always and Forever.” “Em how could you?” He whispered softly. “How could I not?” She pulled back and kissed his lips softly. “I’m no better for you than he was,” he said softly against her cheek. “It’s not the same Brody. You love me better in all ways. You make me smile,” she said looking into his eyes. “And cry Em,” he scowled. “Oh gee Brody I’m a girl,” she smiled softly, “We cry.” He looked at her and smiled, “You won’t leave me?” “Never,” she said reassuringly, “Never, ever, ever.” “You’re stuck with me Em,” his smile finally hit his eyes. “No place I would rather be stuck,” Emma kissed his nose. “It’s still going to be tough for a while Em.” “We’re tougher,” she kissed his cheek causing Brody to shift slightly. “Your smile Em,” he kissed her, “I can’t help wanting you all the damn time.” “Then have me.” *** They lay tangled in the bed sheets and each other. “You’re smiling Em,” Brody’s eyes twinkled. “So are you,” she kissed his chest and looked up at him. “We need to rest because in just a few short hours we have some serious conversations to have with three children,” Brody looked at her cautiously. “Our children will be fine as long as we are Brody,” Emma giggled. “What is it?” he sat up, “What’s so funny?” Emma frowned, “Well I shouldn’t be laughing I suppose with everything going on but…” “But what Em?” Brody grabbed her hand looking into her eyes. “We have three kids Brody. I’ve always said kids aren’t resilient, we make them have to be,” Emma sighed. “And it’s because of me,” he frowned. Emma looked at him, “It is because of you. It’s because of you that I have three children, two by choice and one by chance.” “He’s going to be a lot of work Em,” Brody warned. “I’m not afraid of that. I’ll welcome him, no…I’ll embrace him, and love him just as you have with
London,” she smiled at him. “London’s suffered,” Brody whispered. “She has an older brother, and a younger sister. A man who helped change her father to a man she can actually be proud of for the rest of her life. And she has an amazing father in you,” Emma smiled. “We’re supposed to be resilient, life isn’t a guarantee. It’s about choices, I choose…no— we choose, to love them and get them through it. We make them okay, Brody. We make them okay, together. I need your strength more then you know.” “Your parents Em…” “They got to see her again, and show her they loved her and they tried so hard. They’ll make it through as long as we do, they need us strong too, Brody,” Emma stroked his face. “Em are you going to crack? I can be whatever you need but if you…” “Brody I need you to be with me and be strong. I’m not afraid of any of this, as long as I have you,” Emma looked at him. “Then you’ll have me,” he hugged her. “Always?” she smiled. “And forever,” he kissed her, “We need to rest?” “Yeah, I think so,” she smiled. Brody covered her face, “Then you better stop smiling at me.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Brody, Emma, and Maddox walked into the cottage. Tessa and Collin were making breakfast. “Good morning,” Tessa smiled, “Maddox, I’m so pleased to meet you.” Tessa hugged him and he tensed up. “I’m sorry, but Maddox you’ll have to get used to this. I’m your aunt, well...as far as I’m concerned I am,” she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “Easy Tessa,” Collin smiled, “Maddox, she means well trust me.” “Brody!” London yelled and jumped into his arms. “Hello there London,” he laughed and hugged her tightly. “I missed you,” London clung tightly to his neck. “I missed you more,” Brody kissed her head and laughed, “I brought you home a rather big surprise.” “I LOVE surprises,” she looked up at him. “Brody,” Emma laughed. “Jump right in, huh Em?” “What’s so funny?” London smiled looking at Emma. “I suppose it’s me,” Maddox smiled shyly. Emma put her arm around his shoulder and laughed, “I suppose you’re right.” “Hi, I’m London,” London smiled and stuck her hand out to shake his. “Hello, I’m Maddox,” he smiled at her. His eyes lit up and his smile grew as he bent down and looked her in the eyes. Brody looked towards Emma and saw tears falling down her face and put his arm around her, “You okay Em?” She nodded her head yes and Maddox looked up at them. “It’s really your surprise for her Maddox, why don’t you tell her,” Brody smiled. “London, I’m Brody’s son, so I suppose that means…” Maddox began. “That you’re my brother?” London smiled and hugged him tightly. “Yes, I think so,” he giggled. “I have a big brother,” she held him tighter. “I have a little sister,” he whispered in her ear and smiled. “Actually you have two, Mom go grab Lexi fast, she’s going to be so excited,” London squealed. Emma brought Lexington out and walked up to Maddox, “Lexi this is...” Lexington reached out her little hand and reached for him and smiled, “Dada.” London laughed, “He looks just like Dada, huh Lexi?” Brody walked over and kissed Lexi, “Have I been gone that long Lexi?” Lexi reached for him and he took her and she smiled, “DADADA!” “That’s more like it,” he laughed and kissed her. “Alright, all of you stand together, I want to take a family picture,” Tessa smiled. Collin laughed, “Maddox just so you know, this family doesn’t walk on egg shells. They jump right on them with both feet. When you’re in you’re in, so get comfortable, there’s no turning back. And trust me, you’ll never want to.” “Alright then,” he let out a breath, “So what shall we do today?” “Well,” London rolled her eyes, “We could walk the entire island in less than a day and then we can walk it again and again and again…”
Everyone laughed. “Are you ready to go home London?” Brody smiled. “We should take him to the lake house,” London clapped. “Not a bad idea,” Emma smiled. “Collin, we may have an issue with identification,” Brody looked concerned. “Well then we fly you in under the radar,” Collin looked at Tomas, Tomas shook his head and walked out the door. “That’ll get you in trouble,” Brody warned. “Were going to stay away for a few more days. Our kids are staying next door. Clive and Miguel will be with you,” Collin nodded to the other man in the room, “We do need to talk about what to expect when you get back.” “We leave in one hour,” Tomas reported. “Great, let’s eat breakfast,” Collin smiled. *** “Em, wake up love, your parents are here,” Brody kissed Emma on the cheek. Emma opened her eyes and looked around the car. Maddox, London, and Lexington were all sound asleep, it had been a long day of travel. “I’m going to have Clive and Miguel sit with them, we should chat with them first?” Brody asked. “Yes, I think you’re right,” Emma sat up. Emma and Brody walked into the camp and Caroline and Henry hugged them. “We have some news,” Brody said sadly. “Mom, Dad...Elizabeth was killed,” Emma said as tears fell down her face. Henry glared at Brody, “Did you do this, Hines?” “Daddy, of course he didn’t…” Emma began. “Well he’s wanted for killing your staff, Emma,” Henry yelled. “He was set up, please…” Emma followed him towards the door. “No Emma, I won’t stand by anymore and watch him tear this family apart!” Henry took Caroline’s hand. “He did NOT tear us apart Dad!” Emma yelled. “Okay Emma, when he’s in custody…” Henry started. “We’ll be long gone, you may want to rethink that Henry,” Brody warned. “We’ll see,” Henry sneered back at him. “Mom?” Emma said standing between the door and her parents. “Emma, I just can’t,” Caroline cried. “That’s all well and good, I understand you’re devastated,” Emma started. “No you don’t understand,” Henry yelled. “Henry do not speak to her that way, you will give us five minutes and then you may do as you see fit,” Brody tried to control his rage. “You don’t tell me what to do, Hines,” Henry yelled. “There are three reasons for you to give us five minutes in that car out there Dad, please don’t, Daddy, please…” Emma began to cry. “You have a fifteen your old grandson,” Brody said loudly enough to stop Henry and Caroline from leaving. “What is this? Some sort of joke?” Henry yelled. “No Daddy, Maddox is Elizabeth’s son,” Emma cried, “He…” “Elizabeth had a child?” Caroline gasped and began to fall.
Henry sat her down and looked at Emma. “Brody’s been looking into it…” Emma said softly. “I’m sure he has, what the hell business is it of his? This should have come directly to me Hines,” Henry snapped. “No Henry…” Brody snapped. “We will take him. But your ass will be behind bars…” Henry snapped back. There was a knock on the door and Clive entered. He was carrying Lexington, “Sorry to interrupt, but London and Maddox need to use the restroom.” “Grandma, Grandpa, this is my brother Maddox,” London grinned, “Maddox, Henry and Caroline, your grandparents.” “Hello, I apologize but I really must use the bathroom,” Maddox blushed. Henry and Caroline both smiled and shook their heads. Henry looked at Brody when London dragged Maddox down the hall. Brody looked him straight in the eye, “He’s fifteen and he won’t be going anywhere with you.” “Brody, he looks…” Caroline began crying. “That’s because he is. Henry, I understand your anger but I’m beyond pissed at you right now. I’m not a monster. I was his age when I met your daughter, this whole mess...regardless, none of us asked to be part of it, not any of us here in this room or even Elizabeth. As Emma pointed out we have more than one reason to be strong now, we have three along with each other. You can make choices for you and Caroline but I’ll be damned if anyone takes my wife or those three beautiful children out of my life ever. If need be I will fight and die for them. You get to choose which side you want to stand on, and you need to pick one. Either beside me or against me, but not ever in my way,” Brody heard Emma cry and pulled her into his arms, “I’m sorry…” “Brody stop saying that, this is no more your fault than it is mine. I love you, please stop blaming yourself,” Emma wiped her eyes. “Dadada,” Lexington woke in her seat and Brody smiled. “Hello Princess,” Brody said and hugged her tightly and looked at Henry. Emma kissed Brody, “I’m going to make them something to eat, they’ll be hungry.” “Will you be staying for dinner?” Brody asked. “Yes we will,” Caroline wiped her eyes and stood up, “Please let me help, Emma.” “Mom...I’m very sorry,” Emma hugged her. “Henry, let’s take a walk,” Brody said and walked outside and Henry followed. *** Caroline hugged London and Maddox, “Welcome home, Maddox.” “Thank you ma’am.” he smiled. London gave Maddox the tour of the cottage and gave up the room she’d claimed as her own, “Mom I’m going to sleep in with Lexi, that okay?” Emma smiled, “Sounds good but maybe Maddox would like the other room.” “I assumed that Henry and Caroline would be staying in there,” Maddox smiled at Emma and then looked at the soda. “That’s very nice of you but I’m not sure…” Emma smiled, “Just one okay Maddox?” “Yes of course,” Maddox took the soda. “We’re going to be staying, thank you Maddox. And please call me Caroline and when you’re ready, Grandma works,” Caroline hugged him tightly. Henry and Brody walked in, “Hello Maddox. I apologize about earlier, I was kind of shocked.” “That’s understandable...Grandpa Henry,” Maddox blushed and shook his head.
“Good job Maddox,” London dove onto his lap and laughed, “Now you just have to call Mom, Mom.” Maddox looked at Emma, “Is that what you prefer as well?” “When you’re ready, if that’s what you want, nothing would make me happier,” Emma smiled. “Is that what you called Elizabeth?” Caroline asked. “No, she was always Elizabeth. I really didn’t know her all that well. I think I met her less than fifteen times in my life,” Maddox said softly. “Did you call your other parents mom and dad?” London asked. “No, never.” “That kind of stinks, did you love them?” London asked. “London honey, let him have a few days to get comfortable,” Emma smiled at her. “That’s fine. No London, they weren’t like your parents or the ones I’ve read about. They actually weren’t very nice,” Maddox smiled sweetly at her. “Well that sucks! But it’ll be all better now right Brody, or Dad…can I call you Dad?” London looked up at him. “Whenever you’re ready London,” Brody smiled, “I would love it.” “My Dad died too Maddox, we could start a club, oh and Brody’s dad, your Grandpa Robert died in an accident,” London told him, “So you are stuck with these two.” Maddox laughed, “You’re very brazen.” “And a potty mouth, London, suck isn’t a nice word love,” Brody tried not to smile. “Sorry Dad,” London giggled, “They are pretty cool Maddox, you’re pretty lucky to be stuck with them, huh Dad?” Brody laughed as he set the table, “Yes London, Henry and Caroline are pretty cool.” Emma watched Maddox laugh and smile with London. She wondered what it must have been like for him growing up and closed her eyes. “Em,” Brody kissed her head. “I’m fine, how are you?” “Overwhelmed, but its good. London’s calling me Dad,” he chuckled, “I hope he will someday.” “Of course he will,” Emma kissed him, “Dinner’s ready.” Brody stood in the door way and watched Emma put food on everyone’s plate, Maddox sat next to her and London. He felt an overwhelming amount of emotions invade his body and he took several deep breaths. “Brody, it’s going to get cold,” Emma smiled. “Give me a minute Love,” he smiled and disappeared into the bathroom. He was gone for a while and heard a knock on the door, “Sorry Em, come in.” Maddox opened the door, “I’m sorry.” Maddox looked at Brody and his cheerful face fell, “Are you alright?” “I will be. I’m not really used to all these feelings either.” “Kind of a gooey feeling right here?” Maddox asked touching his heart. Brody swallowed hard and nodded his head in agreement and Maddox hugged him tightly, “We’ll be fine, right Dad? I mean Brody...this is so weird but even with everything I feel…” Maddox cried and Brody held him tightly. “Gooey son?” “Gooey Dad,” Maddox hugged him back tightly. “I really need to use the bathroom,” Maddox said softly. Brody laughed, “Of course, sorry I’ll be right out there okay?” Brody walked out to the dining room and everyone had finished eating, “I’m warming your plate.” Emma said.
Brody took Emma’s face in his hands, “I love you so damn much.” “Me too, Brody,” he kissed her, “Since I got that reaction out of warming your plate, what do you think I’ll get by telling you London and I are making cookies?” Brody scrunched his nose up and winked, “I’ll show you later.” “Did someone say cookies?” Maddox asked softly. “Yep, really great cookies Maddox, come on…” London started dragging him into the kitchen. “Wait a minute, you and Brody need to finish dinner first,” Emma laughed. Brody and Maddox finished dinner and London carried out a plate full of cookies for Maddox with a candle on it, she began singing Happy Birthday’s to you and everyone joined in, “We missed a few right?” “Sure London,” Maddox blushed, “Thank you.” Maddox took a cookie and ate it and smiled, “Gooey— Dad.” Brody laughed, “Everything is today, huh?” “Yeah, it’s great though, real great,” Maddox smiled and visibly relaxed. “Here’s some milk,” London said and she set in on the table. When she moved her arm it tipped the glass over. “I’m so sorry, please, I’ll clean it up,” Maddox stood quickly and turned bumping into London who fell. He reached down to help her up, “I’m so sorry, London, are you okay? Here let me help you.” Emma looked at him and saw that he was shaking, he looked up at Brody and terror was in his eyes, “Please don’t make me go back...I’ll clean it up...I didn’t mean to…” Emma grabbed him and hugged him, “Maddox it was an accident, London spilled the milk…” Maddox stiffened and his voice broke, “No I did. Please don’t punish her, it was…” London started to cry and hugged him, “Maddox, its okay. Please don’t be sad or scared. We love you. Mom spill some milk show him its okay!” Emma laughed and knelt down, “London come here.” “No! I’m staying with him Momma,” London cried. “Maddox, we don’t get upset over little accidents like that okay? We might be upset if you did this though,” Brody took a full glass of milk and dumped it on London’s head. London gasped and Brody laughed. Maddox looked at Emma whose jaw was gapping open and she started laughing. Maddox took a deep breath and smiled. “You jerk,” London smacked him and laughed. Emma grabbed a towel and started cleaning up the milk and looked at Maddox, “It’s all going to take a while but we’ll get there. We all love each other very much and Maddox, now that you’re here you’re stuck with us, we love you too.” Maddox looked confused and touched his chest. Brody knelt beside him, “The gooey feeling, that’s love Maddox. We love you son.” “More,” London plopped down toweling off her hair, “We love you more.” “More than what?” Maddox asked. “Anything, we all love each other more than anything. Except Daddio here, he’s on my poop list,” London laughed. Caroline and Henry sat on the couch watching them, “So did you pick a side Henry, because I have.” “Was it ever really a choice Caroline? This all started because he was trying to make her happy,” Henry put his arm around Caroline, “I just wish …” “Me too,” Caroline hugged him. *** “They’re all asleep Em,” Brody smiled.
“Our three children,” Emma smiled, “We should have cigars that say, It’s A Boy.” “Em, I have something you could…” Emma laughed, “Really?” “Yeah really, it’s already lit,” he smiled and winked. Emma looked down quickly and back up, he smiled. “Your cheeks are pink Em, your mouth is watering…” Brody laid down on the bed, “What are you waiting for?” Emma turned away, “You’re asking for a …” “Yeah I am,” he laughed. “That’s kind of demeaning you know?” Emma crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “If its demeaning Em why is it making you so damn hot that you’re unable to look at me?” Brody laughed deeply. “Because…” Emma began. “It’s supposed to be wrong?” Brody asked sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head. “I don’t know,” Emma tried to sound strong and her voice cracked. Brody walked by her naked, “Its okay Love, I’ve got it. You must be tired. Get some sleep. I love you.” Emma chewed on her lip and climbed into bed. She threw herself back into the pillows and let out a moan. Brody came out with her tooth brush in one hand and himself in the other, “I brought this for you, you forgot.” Emma looked up at him and grabbed for the tooth brush, “Thank…” “Kiss me goodnight Emma,” Brody said softly into her ear. “You really don’t play fair,” Emma whimpered. “Not when I’m playing with you Em,” he kissed her, “There’s nothing I won’t do for you or to you. Ask anything of me Emma and I’ll do my best. You once said you wanted to be happy, today even through all of this you looked so happy Em. Tell me what made you smile and I’ll do it every day for the rest of my life. I never want to disappoint you again Em, ever.” “Brody, you…you make me happy. The kids, all three of them,” Emma smiled, “Without all the craziness, we wouldn’t have Maddox. We have three kids Brody.” “And you’re still good with that right?” Brody asked kissing her neck. “I am,” she smiled. “Happy enough to celebrate?” he smiled and glanced down. “Yes Brody, happy enough to celebrate,” Emma smiled and took him in her mouth. *** Emma sat up and smiled, “I can’t believe you asked, you’ve never asked.” “I can’t believe you almost denied me, what the hell is up with that Em,” Brody chuckled. “Well it was kind of…” Emma stopped and grinned. “No games Em,” Brody smiled, “You’re mine, remember? And I’m all yours. By the way, I better not have to ask again, you’ve been slacking,” he stood up and smacked her butt. “Oh yeah?” Emma laughed, “It hasn’t been all that readily available as of late.” “Then you should have missed it Em,” Brody pulled her up and looked at her, “You over it?” “What do you mean,” Emma smiled. “I’m not leaving again love, your mouth is going to get very sore. And I’m going to make you happy Em, in your heart and between those legs, often,” he kissed her nose. “Promises promises,” she giggled.
“We have lots of plans to make in the morning, let’s sleep,” Brody pulled her into his arms and they fell asleep. *** “No they won’t get mad,” Emma heard London whisper, “Just come in.” “London, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Maddox laughed in a whisper. “Its fine, I’m just going to ask if we can make breakfast,” London said quietly. Emma opened her eyes and looked at Brody who was grinning at her, “Good morning, London and Maddox.” “Morning Daddio, I want to teach Maddox how to make breakfast, can I?” London whispered. Emma sat up and smiled at Maddox, “I can make you both breakfast, just give me two…” “Mom, please,” London pleaded. “Did she wake you up Maddox?” Emma laughed. “No, she was being really quiet when I opened my eyes and she was sitting on the end of the bed,” Maddox smiled. “London,” Emma scolded, “That’s kind of rude.” “I can’t help it Mom! I have a brother and I’m SOOOO excited!” London did a little dance and they all laughed. “Should we still be in our rooms, I mean what time are we allowed to get up?” Maddox asked. “When you wake up,” Brody sat up, “We just try to let Lexi sleep a little longer than this little early bird does.” “But London needs to give you some privacy as well,” Emma frowned at London. “It’s really no trouble,” Maddox smiled lovingly at London. “Maddox, those eyes cast spells, she’s going have you trapped in her trance,” Brody laughed. “Oh I see,” Maddox laughed. “We’ll be out in a couple minutes,” Emma smiled. They left and Emma smiled at Brody, “Can you even imagine Christmas?” Brody laughed and used his best London voice, “Maddox, it’s Christmas, its 12:01 they won’t be mad, come on.” Emma laughed until she had tears coming out of her eyes and her stomach ached. “We are so screwed, Em,” Brody laughed. “We are,” Emma wiped her eyes, “but I wouldn’t want it any other way.” “Me either Em. Hey we do need to put monitors in her room. I…we just need to be safe, we don’t know what he’s lived,” Brody’s tone turned serious. Emma smiled, “Okay, I never even thought…Brody he has a very kind heart and his eyes are so gentle.” “I’m so glad you feel that way Em,” he hugged her, “But we should just be cautious alright?” “Okay, but they shouldn’t know,” Emma said, “And he can’t think we feel that way, ever Brody…” “Of course not. Do you know how amazing you are?” Brody looked at her as if he were in awe. “I know how amazing you are,” Emma blushed. “I love you Em,” Brody hugged her. “I love you,” Emma whispered in his ear. “I can let you sleep a bit,” he smiled. “No I don’t want to miss this,” Emma stood up, “Brody, we should do Christmas.” “Now?” he asked cocking his head to the side. “No when we get home. We can sneak a tree in and well, for him and the girls, you missed Christmas as well, it’ll be your first Christmas with your kids,” Emma jumped up and clapped.
Brody smiled, “Our first Christmas as a family of five,” he stood up and grabbed a pair of pants, “Hey Em, what are you looking at?” “You,” she blushed. “Hmm my little Ho, Ho, Ho,” Brody grabbed her and kissed her. “That’s so not nice!” Emma snapped. “But funny right?” Brody smiled and his eyes twinkled. “Yeah,” Emma laughed and hugged him. “Breakfast, now or a little later?” Brody kissed her neck. “Now…yes they’re waiting,” Emma whimpered slightly and pulled away, “I think you should start wearing pajama bottoms to bed.” “You do?” he laughed. “Well what if they come in and see?” Emma pulled pants on. “See what Em?” he joked. She shook her head and walked out the door. *** The sat on the water’s edge, watching the kids play. Henry and Caroline looked tired. “Collin sent a message,” Brody said softly, “He has it all set up for Elizabeth to return home.” “We have to bury her …again,” Caroline cried and Henry held her. “We’ll get through this,” Henry kissed his wife’s head. They sat silently for a few minutes. “What plans do you two have? When will you come home?” Henry asked Emma. Emma looked at Brody, “Clive’s waiting for reports and when we get everything he’s giving it to my lawyer, you know Emma and I have yet to discuss this,” he looked at Emma. “Its okay go ahead,” Emma rubbed his hand. “After my lawyer looks things over we’ll probably go to the police and let the chips fall where they may, we’ll be alright,” Brody smiled. “We need to talk to Lila, Brody,” Emma said softly. “I’ll make sure Clive gets information to her,” he smiled, “I don’t want to continue bringing this tragic event up, but Elizabeth will arrive in three days. Her body well be prepared there so a service can happen immediately.” “Okay,” Henry looked out at Maddox. *** “We can go home tomorrow?” Emma smiled. “If you want to Emma,” Brody smiled back, “It won’t be too hard to be there?” “No Brody, our home…we need to get a room ready for Maddox.” “What do you think he would like?” Brody asked confused. “You should ask him.” “Now?” Brody grinned. “Right now,” Emma laughed, “Hey Maddox, can we talk to you for a minute?” “Mom, we’re building a castle,” London gasped. Maddox laughed and walked over to Emma and Brody. “Maddox we want to get a room prepared for you, what are your favorite things?” Brody asked. Maddox looked confused, “Well, I would like a bed.” Emma smiled, “A big one?”
“I’m not fussy, and sheets, a top and bottom,” Brody smiled as he listened to Maddox, “A pillow or two.” “What colors?” Emma asked. “Oh that doesn’t matter at all,” Maddox looked down. “Maddox, your Dad’s rich, ask for whatever you want,” London laughed. “I like blue and gray,” Maddox laughed. “Any sports teams, or favorites?” Brody asked. “I like books and music, I would like copies of your music,” Maddox smiled at Brody.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN They pulled in the driveway and Emma noticed immediately that a gate had been built around a lot of the property. “More secure, I’ll tell you the code a bit later,” Brody kissed her hand. Emma smiled at him and nodded towards Maddox who was looking out the window taking in the view, “Is this whole place?…” “It’s the Hines estate,” London smiled, “its home.” “It’s like something in books,” Maddox whispered. They walked in the house and Maddox smiled, “Your home is beautiful.” “Our home, son,” Brody smiled. “Our home,” Maddox repeated. “Hey London, why don’t you help me start lunch while Brody and Maddox take a look around?” Emma walked into the pantry. *** “Your room is up here on the right, our room is next to yours and the girls’ are down the hall,” Brody opened the door. Maddox walked in and looked around, “The whole room is mine?” “The whole room.” “The bed is big,” Maddox smiled. “Go see if it’s comfortable.” Maddox laid down, “It is perfect and a TV, a big TV, wow.” “London will have to show you how to use it, we don’t watch a lot of TV,” Brody smiled, “This is a Bose system and this is my iPod, all of my music is on it.” Brody showed him how it worked and they listened to a few songs, Maddox sang along with them and Brody smiled, “You sing well.” “Yeah, I think I get that from my father,” Maddox joked. “Hey — and he’s funny. I wonder where he gets that.” Brody laughed. Maddox laughed with him, “I think I love it here.” “I hope you always will Maddox,” Brody smiled, “Now, I’m unsure of what she ordered but Em says there are clothes in the closet.” Maddox opened the dresser and looked amazed, “There’s a lot of socks here.” Brody laughed as London walked into the room, “Time to eat.” *** It had been a long, busy afternoon and the children were all finally asleep. Emma and Brody were setting up the Christmas tree when Caroline, Henry, Lila, and Clive all came in bringing the packages they’d all been assigned to get. They didn’t discuss what had happened but instead they enjoyed preparing what they knew would be a great surprise for all three of the children. When they finished they stood back and admired their work. Clive handed Brody an envelope and smiled, “The test results.” Brody looked at Emma and smiled, “I don’t even need this, he’s ours without a doubt.” Emma smiled, “Then don’t open it.”
“Do you have the other results? I would like Caroline and Henry to have it,” Brody said quietly. They sat at the table and Henry and Brody opened the envelopes together. Each revealing what they already knew. Emma, Caroline, and Henry all cried and hugged one another. Brody looked at Clive, “Did you manage to get anything else about Maddox; a birth certificate, medical records, school records?” “I have a birth certificate. Maddox was never enrolled in school, and there are no medical records,” Clive handed him the birth certificate. Brody smiled as he looked at it, “Henry take a look at this.” Henry took the birth certificate and read it, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Maddox Henry was born on October fifteenth, his mother was Elizabeth Henry and his father was listed as unknown. He weighed four pounds ten ounces and was nineteen inches long,” Caroline read. “He must have been premature,” Emma said softly, “We need to get him to a doctor, and we should find someone to test him to see what grade level he’ll need to be enrolled in at school.” “Em, we will,” Brody said as he watched her face grow cheerless. “His last name, Dad,” Emma began to cry, “I’m so sorry.” Henry hugged her, “She remembered us.” “Brody, I’ve given all of the information to the lawyer, he’s going to the police in the late morning. When you get a moment we need to discuss a few things,” Clive stood up. All eyes were on Brody and as he looked around, “Clive let’s do this now. Lila needs to know everything and so does my wife and her family.” “We’re your family as well Brody, we choose to stand beside you,” Henry said firmly. Brody looked at him, “Thank you Henry…that means a lot to us.” Emma hugged Brody and kissed his cheek. “You’re sure?” Clive asked. “Yes, I’m certain,” Brody let out a breath and looked down at Emma and winked. Clive pulled out a chair and opened his briefcase. He pulled out two files and set one in front of Brody and he opened the other. They began with Brody’s missing persons file from the London Police. Brody sat back and listened intently as Clive covered the key points, the date it was reported to the police, the date his shirt was found and the test results confirming it was his blood. They questioned the amount of blood and how he could possibly be alive. “Excuse me,” they all turned towards the doorway and Maddox was standing there. Emma jumped up, “Are you alright Maddox?” “I had a dream, and I was wondering if I could get some warm milk, I read that it helps to relax you making it easier to sleep,” Maddox looked at Emma. Emma made him a drink and she and Caroline sat with him for a while, “Can I walk you up and read you a story Maddox?” “You don’t have to Grandma Caroline,” he said trying not to smile. “Oh Maddox I really do, I have fifteen years of reading to you to make up for, did you know I was a librarian?” Caroline smiled, “So books are very important to me and so are you, come now let’s head up.” “I love books as well,” Maddox smiled, “It’s alright Emma, is it not?” “Maddox of course it’s alright,” Emma hugged him. Maddox leaned into the dining room, “Goodnight Dad.” Brody walked out, “You sure you’re okay? Do you want me to come up with you?” “I’m alright, Grandma Caroline’s going to read to me,” he said smiling shyly. Brody smiled and hugged him, “Alright then, see you in the morning.”
Brody hugged Emma and smiled, “You ready for more or is this too much?” “Knowledge is power Music Man, I want more,” she quickly kissed him and walked in and sat. Clive went over the information on when he was found. Brody had never talked to the Police or interviewed, Clive had done it all. They looked over his medical reports showing toxins in his system and lots of photos of his injuries. “That should all erase doubts that you were there of your own free will. If the videos are to be included we have experts who have filled out reports saying it was obvious that you were drugged. Next we have information on the accident that killed Robert and Troy, and signed documentation stating evidence was missing and later found with photos and again expert witnesses reports that state the way the scene appeared they were no accidents,” Clive looked at Emma but said nothing. “I’m fine Clive go on,” Emma said trying to hide the horror she must be displaying across her face. “Alright, and here’s the information about the deaths of Ann and Rupert, in which they will probably need to get a statement about the last time you spoke to them Brody and the break in,” Clive briefly glanced up at Brody and then back down. “The London authorities also want to interview you and I, pertaining to what we were doing in London and how it was we came into the country. I’ve started the paperwork but want to have it looked at by Collin’s men. The two men that opened fire on the home Maddox was raised in were Turkish and they’re still investigating that. Elizabeth was shot over thirty times, she also entered the country without being detected. The ISA is in talks with the London authorities on how they were informed, they have the ability to keep that all quiet, again this is why I need our statement to be reviewed by Collin. Henry’s been working on finding out what happened to Elizabeth for all the years she was missing, there are a lot of holes but he’s kept impeccable records for years including contacts, dates, times, and even his findings. None of this is going to be easy to figure out but I’m sure we’ve taken every precaution as far as securing this home, and the home of Caroline and Henry.” “Alright, so work and wait,” Brody said in a direct tone. Emma looked at him, “Lose the armor, or so help me God Brody.” Brody snapped his head around looking at her, “Em, I’m doing the best I can.” “Make sure you do,” she scowled, “Or…” Emma whispered in his ear causing him to laugh, “That doesn’t scare me Em.” “We’ll see,” Emma looked away raising her nose in the air. “Alright before we lose focus Brody,” Lila chimed in, “Pictures and an honest PG version of what happened are going to be important. Maddox needs to be revealed, so I’ll be staying to enjoy the festivities tomorrow and you’ll have to do an interview soon.” “Fine,” Brody rolled his eyes at her and Emma laughed. “Has Emma heard your new songs?” Lila asked. “Not yet,” he smiled at Emma. “Well let’s get her approval and get them out there, private or not it’ll show how you felt when you came home and your fans are going to need something to hold onto after this bombshell gets dropped,” Lila let out a deep breath. “If my career ends, we have enough for a lifetime, I don’t give a shit,” Brody laughed. “Emma, you haven’t told him?” Lila gasped. Brody looked at Emma and her face turned red, “He and I have been busy, I plan to tell him…” “What is it?” He asked concerned. Clive shook his head and looked down. “You know something I don’t Clive?” Brody snapped at him. “It’s not a big deal, we’ll be fine. Jeepers Brody,” Emma tried to make light of the situation. “Spill it Em,” Brody demanded. “Your bank accounts have been frozen, it should all be fine, and I have my account and…” Emma tried
to continue. “How and when did all this happen Clive?” Brody demanded. “That’s a question you should ask your wife, I’m no longer in charge of finances,” Clive looked down. “I’ll call the bank tomorrow, but I assume it’s because you’re a flight risk. But we’ll figure it all out. Brody that’s really the least of our worries,” Emma looked up at him. “Did you have enough to cover all that in there?” Brody asked. “Yes Brody, and everything is paid, were good. I even paid Lila, Clive, and Ariel two months in advance.” “Why would you do that Em,” Brody scowled. “I don’t know,” Emma scuffed her foot across the ground nervously. “Bullshit Emma, why?” Brody demanded. “Because Ariel has to be paid, and we need them through all this I wanted to make sure…” Emma stopped and looked up at him and tears pooled in her eyes, “I wanted to make sure I had them if you left again.” Brody looked stunned and hurt, “Alright then.” Emma stood and walked out of the room. Brody looked around and everyone was staring at him, “Are we done here?” They all nodded yes and got up and went to their rooms. Brody walked into the kitchen, “What are you doing Em?” “Putting together the food for tomorrow, it’ll just have to be baked and we can enjoy the day without cooking,” Emma brushed past him and put the quiche in the refrigerator. “What’s this Em,” Brody said softly as he handed her another pan. “Monkey bread,” Emma said in a whisper. They quietly loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen. Emma stood at the sink looking out the window. “I’m not going anywhere, not by choice,” Brody wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Emma reached back and gently rubbed his face. “It hurts to know I’ve put you in a position that you feel you have to be on the defensive all the time,” he held her tighter. “It’s getting better Brody,” Emma whispered. “I’m not leaving you Em, ever.” “Good because next time I will hunt you down and kick your ass,” Emma joked. Brody spun her around and kissed her, “You’re mine and I’m yours, Always and Forever, Em.” “Good.” Caroline cleared her throat, “Maddox’s asleep.” “Oh thank you for …” Brody smiled at her. “Reading to my grandson?” Caroline began to cry, “Thank you for finding him, bringing him home to his family, for giving us all of this Brody, thank you.” Brody hugged her, “Well we must all get to bed, it’s Christmas Eve.” “I hope you don’t mind, I read him ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and the Bible story of what Christmas really is all about, miracles,” Caroline smiled. “That’s wonderful Mom,” Emma hugged her. “I don’t know about that,” Brody laughed, “He’s going to think we are all mad.” *** “What time is it?” Emma gasped when she felt Brody under the covers. “Time for you to lay still Em,” Brody teasingly ran his tongue up her.
“But…Ouch,” Emma winced. Brody kissed where he’d bitten, “I need you to stay still.” Emma started to talk and his tongue thrust into her and his finger circled her clit. Emma moaned, “Quiet, oh…okay, oh Brody.” While Emma fell apart he swiftly moved up and thrust into her, “God Em, I think you’re finally getting used to me, it’s so fucking good.” “Yes, oh yes,” Emma panted. Brody pulled her to the side of the bed and stood up, not once missing a beat. He pulled her legs to his shoulders and continued thrusting deeply into her. One hand massaged her sweet spot as the other had her breast. “Pillow, Brody pillow,” Emma said and then pulled her arm over mouth and bit it. “Em, shit don’t do that,” he couldn’t stop as he felt the burn moving slowly inside of him. He released her breast and grabbed the remote off the night stand for the surround sound and pushed play. Here Comes Santa Claus blasted through the house as he dropped the remote and grabbed her butt tightly and pounded into her faster and harder. They both screamed out at the same time and he pulled out quickly. He grabbed a tissue and wiped between her boneless legs and then himself. He grabbed her hands and pulled her up. “Merry Christmas Em,” he smiled a wicked grin and kissed her. “Let’s get you dressed, three little children are probably wondering what the fuck is going on.” He bent down and filled his mouth with her breast and sucked hard on her nipple and she whimpered, “You’re insane.” “And all yours love, now get dressed,” he smacked her hard on the ass and disappeared into the bathroom. He threw her yoga pants and a shirt, “Chop, Chop love!’ “I love you Music Man.” “What’s not to love Em?” He winked and dragged her into the hallway. *** Emma and Brody were with Lexington when Maddox and London both peeked out of their rooms, “Merry Christmas,” they yelled together. “Let’s go see what’s going on in the family room,” Brody wrapped his arms around Maddox and London and the three bound down the stairs. Lila, Mark, Caroline, and Henry were up and dressed already waiting for them. “Merry Christmas,” they all smiled. “I love you Em,” Brody whispered and kissed her head. “I love you,” she smiled. “It’s really not Christmas Mom,” London laughed. “It’s our first Christmas as a family of five, we thought we should celebrate,” Emma hugged her. Maddox stood in awe of his surroundings, “This is crazy, I’ve never…” his eyes filled with tears and Brody hugged him. “You will from now on Maddox, every Christmas son,” Brody held him tighter. “Gooey,” Maddox smiled and wiped his fallen tears. “Always,” Brody laughed. “Stockings first,” London clapped. Maddox he noticed his stocking matched the rest of the family’s and smiled. There were tooth brushes, hair gel, socks, underwear, candy, and money in his and he was smiling a smile that mimicked Brody’s when he was truly happy. Emma watched him and smiled just as big.
Gifts were next and when he opened his iPhone he looked confused and then looked to Brody, “Oh Maddox that’s going to be your whole world; music, internet, phone, camera, calendar, and games. A teenage boy’s dream.” “Thank you,” he smiled and shook his head and blushed. He opened an e- reader and smiled, “One of the girls from the library had one, digital books right?” Emma smiled and nodded her head. “Grandma Caroline read me ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas last night, I was a bit confused but now I get it…sort of,” Maddox laughed. After all the gifts were opened London and Maddox helped each other take their gifts to their rooms. “I’m going to go get everything started,” Emma smiled. “I want to help,” Brody took Lexi’s fingers and helped her walk behind Emma. *** “Monkey bread?” Brody giggled. Emma laughed, “I never had a dirty mind until you came into my life.” “Does that bother you?” he asked looking confused. “No Brody, I’ve also never had orgasms like I have with you either,” Emma smiled. “Multiple Em,” he let go of Lexington’s hands and kissed Emma, he grabbed the casserole out of the refrigerator and handed it to Emma. “Where is Lexi?” Emma gasped and they turned around quickly. “Dada,” Lexington clapped and walked towards them. “She’s walking Brody,” Emma laughed. “She is Em, she really is, come here Lexi,” Brody bent down and she walked slowly to him and he swooped her up. “Lexi can walk,” London beamed as she and Maddox walked into the kitchen, “Put her down Brody, come here Lexington.” London held her arms out as Lexington walked slowly towards her and Maddox, she walked up to him and raised her arms, “What am I chopped liver?” London laughed. “You also have multiple children,” Brody smiled at Emma. “I do, thank you so much,” Emma hugged him. “Thank you,” he kissed her. “Do you two ever stop?” London groaned. “Let’s hope not,” Brody smiled as he pulled away and grabbed London and spun her around. *** “The children are all nestled all snug in their beds Em,” Brody smiled when they finished cleaning up the wrapping paper. “They are, all three of them,” Emma smiled. “The mother of multiple children should be rewarded with …” Brody kissed her neck. “I need a bath,” Emma whispered. “Sounds like a good start,” Brody smiled, “I’ll finish up here and then I’ll meet you up there?” “Sounds perfect,” Emma smiled. *** Emma was in the bathtub when she heard a knock on the door, “Brody it’s unlocked. Come in.” “It’s Maddox, Emma.”
Emma jumped up and threw on a robe and opened the door, “Are you okay?” “There are people downstairs, I heard yelling and…” Maddox said nervously. “Okay Maddox, can you stay up here, maybe go into London’s room and wait for me okay, lock the door and wait for me,” Emma grabbed clothes and Maddox did as he was asked. Emma ran down the stairs and saw at least a dozen officers in the house, “Excuse me – where’s my husband?” “The kitchen,” one told her and she ran past him. “Brody?” Emma ran to him. He grabbed Emma and hugged her, “Sorry Em.” “Why are they here? What do they want?” Emma asked. “They want to search our home, they don’t have a warrant. I told them to feel free to look around down here but the kids were sleeping. Clive’s called my lawyer. We’ll be alright Em, we’ve done nothing wrong,” Brody kissed her head. “Brody, I’m so sorry,” Emma held him tighter. A detective walked into the room, “We would like to know if you’ve seen this boy, he was kidnapped from London.” Brody looked at the picture and then at Emma, “I’ll wait for my lawyer to answer any more questions, I’ve given you permission to look around as long as our children aren’t woken up and frankly I don’t know how the hell they slept through that entry. I’m being very cooperative detective.” “If he’s here, you’re in a shit load of trouble Hines, more than you are already. You’re facing a double homicide charge,” Detective Banks sneered. “Are you facing …” Emma started. “Em, please,” Brody hugged her. “You can be charged as well Mrs. Hines,” Banks snapped. “Get the fuck out of my house,” Emma snapped, “We’ve all been through enough.” “You might want to control that, I’m sure you have some toys around here to put her in her place don’t you?” Banks laughed. Emma raised her hand to slap him and Brody caught it, “Emma, love stop he’s trying to push our buttons just keep it together until Eli gets here alright.” “I think maybe he can’t get laid, because he’s a…” Brody pushed her face into his chest to muzzle her voice. “Detective Banks, you’re insulting my wife purposefully I suggest you walk away,” Brody said with an eerie calmness Emma that wasn’t used to. “I can’t believe a fine piece of ass like that would put up with all the shit your domineering sick ass has done,” Banks laughed as he walked away. “Fuck you, pencil prick,” Emma screamed and tried to pull away from Brody. “Damn it, Em,” Brody grabbed her and picked her up and walked out the door, “You have got to stop Em.” “Brody he’s awful, he’s rude, he…” Emma began to cry and he held her tighter. “He’s in our home, our children are sleeping Em, he could take Maddox, we have to be calm,” Brody said holding her face in his hands, “I want you to let it go, please Emma.” “Maddox’s awake, he’s the one who told me…” Emma began to panic. “Emma, we’re going in the house and you’re going to go upstairs and reassure him we’re fine and change your clothes and come back down calmly. I’m going to call your father and get him over here,” Brody closed his eyes, “Please.” They walked in the house and Brody had his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder as they walked through all the officers. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs and Brody kissed her head, “I’ll
be right here.” “Where’s she going?” Banks voice boomed across the room. “To change into clothes so…” Emma looked at Brody’s pleading eyes, “To change my clothes.” She turned and walked up the stairs. *** Emma walked into London’s room and neither were there, she looked around and felt panicked. She opened the closet and all three of them sat huddled in the corner, “Hey there you are.” Emma hugged them all tightly and sat back. “I’m sorry I woke them but I was...I couldn’t leave her alone and she woke London and well, I’m sorry,” Maddox spoke nervously. “No Maddox you did great, there are a lot of people downstairs so why don’t you two stay put and I’ll take Lexi with me. I’ll grab a couple pillows, you can camp in here until they’re gone,” Emma forced a smile. “Mom, everything’s going to be okay, right?” London’s lip quivered. “Well of course, your big brother’s pretty amazing, look at him taking care of you. I’m going to get down there and help Brody out okay? I love you both so much,” she hugged them and left. *** Emma walked in the kitchen with Lexington, “She woke up?” Brody frowned. Emma smiled and looked down and then hugged him, “Maddox had them both hiding in the closet. He wouldn’t leave her. He’s pretty amazing Brody.” Brody smiled and Lexi reached for him. He took her in one arm and wrapped the other around Emma, “Sorry baby girl, try to go back to sleep.” He kissed her cheek and she squealed in delight. They heard several clicks and turned towards the officers, all had drawn their guns when Lexington squealed. “Are you kidding me?’ Emma began to shake and cry, “Brody — get these idiots out of here.” Brody looked at them, “Out,” he handed Lexi gently to Emma. “I said out!” His voice was fierce. “We’re almost finished up here, another hour Hines,” Banks laughed at him. “Listen here you piece of shit — you and these bunch of idiots drew guns on my family, you’re no longer welcome in my home. Get out now,” Brody’s jaw twitched as he walked towards the door. “The warrant will be here in thirty minutes,” Banks laughed. “Well until then get the fuck out of my house and off my property you …get out now!” Brody screamed. It took the police ten minutes to clear out, Banks was the last, “See you in about fifteen minutes.” Henry walked in and Clive and Eli followed. “We need to get the kids out of here Henry...they’re looking for Maddox. Accusing me of kidnapping him, and quite frankly I don’t think our documentation will be enough to stop them. Clive, Detective Banks is a fuck figure it out. Eli they have a warrant on the way, go find out what they want besides Maddox and then explain to me why giving them their case on a silver fucking platter isn’t enough!” Brody was furious. “Brody get your ass calmed down before they get in here, you don’t need to add assaulting an officer to the list of reasons to nail your ass to the wall,” Clive directed. Brody took a deep breath, “Em, get the kids out of here. Henry help her. Clive, show them how.” “I am NOT leaving you!” Emma snapped. “I can take them,” Henry said, “If he gets taken into custody you come to us got it Princess?”
Emma nodded her head yes and ran upstairs. She packed a small bag and got the kids, “Overnight at Grandma and Grandpa’s, I’ll meet you there when I can okay?” Both nodded their head. Henry took Lexington and London out the front and put them in the car. The police watched him carefully. “Alright you two, this is the first time we’ve used this exit and after we do, it never gets talked about again and Maddox, London doesn’t need to know,” Clive laughed. They walked into the studio and Maddox smiled. Emma looked at him, “We’ll have to hang out down here sometime soon.” “Okay Double O Mom,” Maddox smiled at her. Emma laughed and hugged him, “I think I could learn a few tricks from you there, hero.” Emma heard a beep and saw a small door open behind a bookshelf, “Holy shit Clive!” “That’s bad ass,” Maddox said astonished. “Let’s go you two,” Clive smiled. “Maddox that language is not okay, alright?” Emma laughed as she grabbed his hand and ran down the tunnel behind Clive. Henry was waiting in the car behind the woods. “I love you all, Maddox stay down. Daddy — thank you, see you soon…” Emma started to hug them. “Emma we have to be back in there,” Clive said urgently. “Love you too,” Maddox smiled. *** Emma and Clive walked into the kitchen looking flushed. Brody looked up at them and winked. Clive nodded his head and walked into the other room. “Cool, huh Em?” Brody smiled. “Well as Maddox said, bad ass,” Emma laughed and hugged him, “Right after he called me Double O Mom.” “He did?” Brody smiled. “He did,” Emma smiled back at him. “We should tell him that’s not okay” Brody smiled. “I did,” Emma laughed. “How did he react?” Brody asked. “Well we went for a run,” she smiled, “And then I told them I loved them and he said I love you too.” “Not Gooey?” Brody asked. “What?” Emma laughed. “That’s what he says when he feels emotions, it feels gooey,” Brody laughed. Emma smiled up at him, “I love that.” “I love you,” Brody kissed her. They watched as Eli argued with Detective Banks. “Listen if something happens…” Brody started. “Please don’t, we have so much to be happy about right now Brody. Christmas as five, Gooey, Love, and you Brody, you haven’t had a dream in a few days.” “I haven’t, have I?” Brody smiled. “Nope,” she kissed him, “I’m so happy with what we are as a family and what you and I are as a couple.” Brody laughed, “Frozen bank accounts, a house full of uniforms, a sleazy detective, my lawyer, secret rooms.”
“Look at me Brody, I told you I wanted to be happy and you promised me I would be. Even with all the crazy horrible things that have happened – I’m happy. I’m so happy I met you, loved you, married you, had Lexington with you, and Maddox’s so amazing. You’ve given me more, you Brody are the love of my life and I wouldn’t change a thing. We’ll get through anything that comes our way, together okay?” Emma kissed him. “I love you so much Em,” Brody kissed her back. “Always?” Emma smiled. “And forever,” Brody hugged her tightly. “I think we should go into the bathroom, I want to celebrate,” Emma giggled. Brody smiled, “Celebrate?” “Do you have any more cigars?” Emma winked. “For you, an endless supply,” Brody winked back. “Where are you going Hines?” Detective Banks growled. “To the bathroom Detective, would you like to hold it?” Brody glared and Emma tugged his arm and laughed. *** “It’s got to be quick,” Emma smiled and pulled his pants down and sat on the closed toilet. “Fuck—Em...what’s with you and bathrooms…oh God,” Brody moaned as he pushed her hair to the side. Emma took him in her hands, “What’s up or should I say not up with this?” “Em, there’s a room full of cops and…damn Love,” he pushed his hips towards her. “Not a good time for stage fright Music Man,” Emma licked slowly across his head. “No talking Em,” he groaned and his head tilted back as she gently rolled his balls in her hands. “Em,” he moaned as she stroked him and her tongue followed the bulging veins down his shaft. “Mine,” she gasped and took him fully in her mouth. His hands tangled in her hair as he guided her head back and forth on his erection, “Oh God yes, all yours.” Emma moved faster and tugged lightly on his sack. His hips moved faster and deeper into her mouth and she looked up at him when she felt the first twitch. She sucked hard hollowing her cheeks and she swallowed the first burst of hot thick fluid. “Em,” he moaned loudly as he looked down at her. She opened her mouth for him to watch. Her tongue danced with his throbbing head. The last burst filled her mouth and he finally breathed as she watched in awe of the beautiful man trying to compose himself, mouth still open and full of him. Brody stuck his thumb in her mouth and rubbed his juices across her lips and she slowly licked them clean. He pulled her up and kissed her harshly licking her tongue gently with his. “Unfucking believable,” he gasped. He turned her facing away from him and bent her over the sink, pulling her pants down below her knees. “You’re so wet Em,” Brody groaned as he pushed into her. “And you’re…oh Brody,” Emma moaned. “Hard as hell again,” he pushed into her harshly, “Hang on love.” After Emma had climaxed twice he finally joined her. “Wow,” she moaned laying out boneless and drenched over the sink. Brody squeezed her ass and cleaned between her legs. She went to stand and he held her down. “I just want a little taste Em,” he said before licking her from front to back over and over again.
Emma came again and he sucked between her legs. There was a knock on the door. “Just a minute,” Brody snapped. He slowly pulled her pants up as he kissed her behind over and over again. “Where’s your wife Hines?” Banks yelled from outside the door. “In here holding it, why you envious?” Brody snapped. Emma stood up as he was pulling up his pants and smiled at him. “I wasn’t expecting all that,” she smiled. “I couldn’t stop myself Em,” he hugged her tightly, “Look at you all flushed and hmmm. We need to get the hell out of this room before I take you again. I’ll wait out there for you. You might want to fix that hair love, I think I messed it up.” *** Emma and Brody walked hand in hand into the kitchen smiling at each other. “Brody Hines, you are under arrest for the murder of Rupert and Ann Bleek, the kidnapping of Maddox Henry, and tampering with evidence. You have the right to remain silent…” Detective Banks continued reading him his rights. “Why are they doing this?” Emma cried. “There fucking idiots,” Brody smiled, “Clive, it may take him awhile to read me my rights, wanna help him with the cuffs?” “Brody,” Emma clung to him. “The third drawer love,” he whispered in her ear. “What?” She asked confused. “Don’t get freaked out,” he smiled and whispered, “There’s a few things in there for you, not for them, alright?” “Brody?” Emma cried. “Our accounts are frozen Em, you’re going to be alright though, okay. It’s now very safe here, as soon as they take me get Henry and the kids back here. Make them stay with you until I’m released. Call Tessa and trust no one Emma. Your family, Clive, Collin, and Tessa, that’s it okay. This fat fuck here has a problem, Clive’s going to figure it out,” Brody took her face in his hands and kissed her. He felt his hands being pulled behind his back and he rubbed his face softly against hers, “I love you more, Em.” Emma wrapped her arms around him and cried, “Hasn’t he been through enough? Are you all fucking crooked? My God he gave you everything…” “Okay Em, we give them no more. We save it all for us, shh,” he whispered in her ear. “Let’s go Hines,” Banks pulled him away. He looked up at Emma, “You keep yourself and our kids safe Emma, I love you.” The room emptied in minutes, it took far less time for them to leave than it had before. Emma tried to breathe and couldn’t. She held her chest and fell to her knees and cried. “Emma, let’s go get your kids,” Clive rubbed her back gently. “Maddox, Clive how do we keep him safe?” Emma sobbed. “We just do,” Clive said pulling her up. They started walking towards the door, “Wait, I have to get something.” Emma ran up the stairs and fumbled around trying to find the key. “Emma, we really need to get them all back here, to keep them safe,” Clive said fiercely. “I don’t understand, Elizabeth’s dead, we’re alright…” Emma stopped, “You think, oh my God Clive.”
“Let’s go Emma,” Clive and Emma ran down the stairs and to the car. *** Seventeen Emma looked at the clock and it was almost noon. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in that late. But she’d never had three kids that had been dragged through hell and back in a matter of hours either. She looked to her left and London was sound asleep, to her right Lexington was snuggled tightly against her and next to her was Maddox. He opened his eyes and looked sad, “Are you okay Maddox?” “I really have to go to the bathroom,” he said softly. “Go,” Emma smiled. Emma carefully picked Lexington up and took her into her room and laid her down. She’d woken up three times after they got home. Emma knew that her schedule was shot to hell today, she was just going to have to go with it. Emma walked back into her room and London was still asleep. Maddox walked out of the bathroom and Emma motioned for him to follow her. They walked into the kitchen, “Are you hungry?” “I’m okay I can wait for everyone else.” “You don’t have to, aren’t teenage boys supposed to be hungry all the time?” Emma laughed. “Your father ordered pizza and wings it should be here soon,” Caroline kissed Emma and hugged Maddox, “Good afternoon.” “Good afternoon Grandma Caroline,” Maddox smiled. “The girls asleep?” Caroline asked. “Yes, Lexington’s in her crib and London’s in our room,” Emma grabbed two glasses of water and handed Maddox one. “Your father’s going to take you to see Brody in a couple hours, right Emma?” Caroline asked. “Yes,” Emma said swallowing hard. “May I go?” Maddox asked quickly. “Oh Maddox,” Emma hugged him. “Grandpa’s still trying to sort out your paperwork, until then you’re kind of in hiding,” Caroline hugged him. “Let the boy breathe, ladies,” London laughed. “Okay I’m going to run upstairs and shower and get ready,” Emma looked for Clive and he nodded, “I’ll try to hurry.” *** Emma walked into the closet and looked for the key, it only took her a few minutes to find it. It was pinned inside her wedding nightie, one that Brody had her wear monthly before he disappeared. She unlocked the door and walked into the closet and looked at the drawers, she didn’t want to open it, it felt wrong. She stood back and took a deep breath and decided to open the top one. There was a note. Em, I know you so well. Always the lady, cautious and careful. Unless of course you’re with me. I love you, take a chance Em. Yours,
Music Man
She held it to her chest and smiled. Emma opened the next drawer. It was full of vibrators Love, Really you’re going to have to move faster without me, lots at stake. Us and them. There’s no turning back, you’re mine and I’m yours, regardless of what we have to do to stay that way forever. Yours Always and Forever, Music Man
Emma smiled and placed the notes back in their perspective places and closed the drawers. Emma opened the third drawer and her jaw dropped. “Oh my God,” she whispered.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I want to thank Stephanie for being my forever friend, second set of eyes. To my new friend Gloria I am so glad to have met you and am very grateful for all your help. To Melissa thank you for the cover work, you are amazing. To Jenn, thank you for the final edits. To Laura BP for all the help and support your energy is crazy contagious. To Ellie Newob you’ve been a lifesaver, and a friend, a cheerleader, a sounding board, and so much more. I am eternally grateful for all you have done. To Chris V at Creative Communications, thank you for your website skill, and ability to understand my constant crazy ideas. To my Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter friends…I <3 U!! To my family who gives me enough love and support to continue working towards my dream. To Mary, Suzanne, Sheila, Taylor, Faye, Emily, Erica, Tiffany, Karen, Wendy, and Renee you are all AMAZING To Ally, my heart…I love you more! Thank you.
WRAPPED ALWAYS AND FOREVER Book 3
CHAPTER ONE Emma couldn’t believe what her husband, Brody Hines — platinum selling recording artist, had kept a secret from her for the nearly two years they had known each other. She was MORE than surprised that she never questioned him when he’d asked her to not look in the third drawer of the secret closet’s bureau. With everything they’d lived through; her cancer, the fertility treatments, his abduction for nearly a year, his memory of her being gone, the sex videos she watched of his abuse and the ones when he wasn’t being beat into submission but obviously drugged, the deaths left in the wake of his return, a son he never knew, and even now as he sat in jail facing charges of embezzlement and kidnapping, she always believed in the love they shared. He kept things from her to protect her and their family, but this was different. Even now as he sat in jail facing charges, she knew he was innocent. He hid his personal life from the public eye but how the hell could he have hidden this? Emma smiled as she closed the drawer. She opened the drawer containing all the toys they had yet to use and closed it quickly. She stood and took the black bin that contained the scarves that he so enjoyed tying her up with and pulled out a red scarf and rubbed the silky material across her face remembering the very first time he bound her. Emma trusted him explicitly with her body. Something she’d never experienced. She knew now that she could never live without that trust…not while they still shared the same sun and moon. He treasured her; she knew this through the way he loved her, needed to protect her, and the way he touched her. Nothing compared to the pleasure he gave her every time they came together. Some would say it was dirty, hell she thought so at first too, but how could it be? If the giving of each other exclusively and completely in love, desire, and need was wrong, it shouldn’t feel so right. Brody was dominant without a doubt but submitting to his love wasn’t weakness, it wasn’t even something she did just to please him, it was a need felt by both of them and that only they could fill for each other. From the very first time they’d looked into each other’s eyes they both knew, although neither Brody nor Emma thought that they were ready to move on. When they met, they were going through divorces, both not feeling that they could trust, and both hearts wrapped in armor. When fate brought them together again just hours later, he knew he wanted her, but she was resistant and his wounds were still fresh, still unhealed. He was unwilling to take a chance until he saw who she was, all of who she was. Emma tried so hard to be fierce, but he could see what she needed and she finally unwillingly exposed her weakness to him. He pursued her and didn’t let go, chiseling away at her armor until she finally realized it was him that she needed, and submitted to him. He vowed to himself and to her that he would give her a happy life. *** Brody Hines laid on the cot in the eight by ten jail cell thinking about his next move. He’d been through hell trying to keep his vow to Emma. He was dragged back to a world he fled several years ago, a world that gave new meaning to the phrase ‘sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.’ Brody’s desire to be the man he knew he could be for her was buried beneath his own armor. He fell in love with a beautiful woman, both inside and out. He could trust her fully, but his need to protect her innocence, one of the hundreds of reasons he loved her, had only brought more pain, fear, and danger into her life. He loved Emma’s daughter from her first marriage almost as immensely as he did Emma. London was funny and sweet and just as caring as Emma. They were his family, and he would do whatever he could to make sure they were happy, loved, and safe. His attempt to bring Emma’s sister Elizabeth, missing for nearly thirty years, home from hell only
made their lives harder and put them in danger. In return for Elizabeth’s rescue, he missed the birth of his daughter and lost nearly a year of his life. He’d been held against his will for months, during which time he was drugged, raped, and beaten. He was presumed dead after authorities found his blood at the scene of a struggle following one of his escape attempts. Emma, however, never doubted that he was alive. She looked for him, tried convincing others, and held their family together while she waited for him to return to them. Instead, it was Elizabeth who returned, alone, bringing all of hell’s furry onto the family that Brody was trying desperately to bring peace and happiness by freeing her. Elizabeth was now dead, but so were many other people Emma had loved, all because of a choice he made without telling her first. Now Brody lay in jail facing charges while Emma was home raising their blended family. His son Maddox, whom he never knew existed, his infant daughter Lexington, who he’d convinced Emma to have, and the beautiful London, whose father now lay beneath the dirt because of him. He knew Emma was strong, so damn strong, but he feared she would break and that he, but also those three children would lose the part of her they needed and loved most, her heart. Brody stood up and looked out the window through the cold steel bars, wondering how she was doing. How Maddox, who had only known Brody for a few short days, was doing. He wondered if Lexington would ever know her father, or if she could ever depend on him, when he was absent all the damn time. He thought of how London was exactly like her mother, how she needed to fake a smile and take care of everyone around her, needing them to feel loved and giving all of herself so that they would. He desperately wanted London to be able to be a child again and knew that he could get her back to the place she’d been when he first asked her for her mother’s hand in marriage. Brody sat up and gripped his hair wanting to scream. Instead, he rolled to his side and closed his eyes. *** “Alright my three little loves, what do we have for dad?” Emma smiled as she grabbed her coat. Maddox handed her an envelope, “Please tell him we love him and miss him. I know that sounds so strange.” “No Maddox, it sounds perfect,” Emma hugged him. “Thanks super spy Double O Mom,” he laughed and blushed. “No problem Double O Son,” Emma joked in an attempt to make him feel less uncomfortable. “Mom — tell him when he gets home, he’s Dad from now on,” London smiled and held her tightly. “I will London,” Emma kissed her, “Okay do we need anything while I’m out?” “We should have ice cream sundaes for dinner. I think Maddox deserves that don’t you Mom?” London blinked rapidly and flashed a large smile. “I don’t know maybe Maddox doesn’t like ice cream,” Emma smiled. “Oh, I do,” he smiled and mimicked London’s eye flutters and they both laughed. “Pizza for lunch and ice cream for dinner…” Emma began. “And Christmas in July,” London twirled around laughing. “Maddox will get the wrong impression of us, and then when things get back to normal, he’ll be bored,” Emma laughed. “I promise I won’t,” Maddox smiled. “Okay fine,” Emma said giving up, and the two kids gave triumphant cheers. “Give me hugs, big hugs, so I don’t change my mind,” Emma laughed as they both hugged her tightly, “Well, the broken ribs will be a good reminder to stop and get those liver and onions right?” “ICE CREAM,” London yelled. “Oh — okay, ice cream! Now I remember. See you soon,” Emma smiled as she walked out the door. ***
Brody walked into the visiting room and sat, “Could you please un- cuff my hands?” “No, it’s against the rules, I’m sorry Mr. Hines,” the blonde female officer blushed. “Alright, can you tell me who I’m meeting?” He asked softly. “Eli and Emma,” she read off her clipboard. “I want them both in here, is that alright?” He asked trying his best to look confused. “I think I can swing that,” she smiled. “Thank you so much,” he smiled shyly with purpose. Fucking control freaks, he thought. “Is there any way around these?” He asked holding up his wrists exposing the cuffs, “Maybe take one off and attach it to the chair?” “Sure Mr. Hines,” she giggled. Brody sat for a few minutes, and Eli walked in, “Where’s Emma?” “She’s putting away some things that I advised her not to bring in,” Eli smiled as he sat. “Like what?” Brody asked. “Homemade cards,” Eli shot him a look and imperceptibly shook his head no. Brody smiled, “Alright then.” Emma walked in, looked at him, and closed her eyes and tried not to cry, “Come here Em.” Emma walked over and sat next to him, “No contact, Love,” he whispered looking down. “Who told you that?” Eli snapped. “The guard who searched me before I came in here,” Brody said sadly. “Bullshit, hug your husband Emma,” Eli growled. Emma hugged him tightly, “Are you okay?” “As long as you are Em,” he kissed her head and pushed his forehead against hers. “Well then, we’re good,” Emma smiled sweetly. “Alright, we have paperwork being pushed rapidly through family court as we speak. Maddox’s your child, so those charges will be dropped very soon, I’m thinking within an hour. I also have an arraignment hearing in an hour. Emma, I would like you to be there, and if all goes well, he walks with us,” Eli looked up from his notes briefly. Emma took a deep breath, looked at Brody and smiled, “Thank God.” “What will Maddox’s birth certificate say?” Brody asked. “Elizabeth will be listed as his mother and you as his father. I also have the paperwork you have asked for, and as soon as the court drops these ridiculous kidnapping charges we file the others, giving Emma legal guardianship,” Eli rummaged through his file, producing the paperwork. Emma looked at Brody, “Why?” “If I get sent away Em, he has you. Unless you don’t…” Brody started. “Of course I do,” Emma smiled sadly, “Brody, of course I do, but you’re not going anywhere.” “It’s precautionary, alright?” Brody smiled back, “Have I told you yet today that I love you?” “I love you more,” she smiled and held his hand. “And you look beautiful, Em,” he smiled. “And you’re a sight to behold Brody, even in orange,” Emma grinned. “Orange work for you Em?” He winked. “Okay you two, let’s get focused on the task at hand,” Eli was all business as Emma and Brody gazed at each other lovingly. *** Bail was set for two million dollars. Emma looked down trying not to cry. “Eli, our accounts are frozen,” Brody sneered.
“I’ve been working on that as well. We have it covered,” Eli smiled. “How?” Brody gasped. “Your new friends are particularly resourceful,” Eli winked. *** Brody smiled at Emma as he walked through the security gate and she ran up and hugged him. He looked down at her and smiled softly. “Let’s get the hell out of here,” Brody kissed her head quickly, took her hand and walked to the car. “We have to stop at the store, I promised ice cream for dinner,” she looked up at him and smirked. “And you scolded me about soda? You’re getting soft Em,” Brody chuckled as he twirled her around. They climbed into the car, Brody in front next to Henry, Emma’s father, and Emma in the back. “They don’t know, right Dad?” Emma asked. “No, the kids will be very excited,” Henry smiled. Emma handed Brody the envelope of cards and told him what Maddox and London had asked her to tell him. She went into the store alone, against Henry and Brody’s wishes. They wanted to have the grocer deliver, but she insisted that Brody walk into the house with the bag of junk to make sundaes, to surprise the children. Emma stood at the checkout and noticed people staring. She looked down and saw the newspapers with Brody’s arrest plastered on the front of every paper on the rack. She took a deep breath and smiled at the cashier as she signed her name on the credit machine’s screen. “You’re Emma Hines?” The cashier asked, snapping her gum. “Yes I am,” Emma took her receipt. “Sorry you got mixed up with him,” she rolled her eyes. “Well I’m not, he’s a wonderful man who’s being framed,” Emma felt tears in her eyes. “Aren’t they all?” The cashier snickered. “Go to hell,” Emma said under her breath as she grabbed her bags and rapidly walked out the automatic doors. *** Brody watched her walking quickly towards the car, and he got out and ran to her, “Em, are you alright?” He took the bags in one hand and hugged her tightly against him as she wiped her eyes, “Yes, let’s go home please Brody.” “Okay, Love,” he kissed her, “Come on.” When they got in the car, Brody followed her into the back seat and held her as she cried. “What’s wrong Princess?” Henry asked. Emma told them what happened. “You told her to go to hell, Emma?” Brody said, trying not to laugh. Emma scowled at him, “Not very loudly.” “You’re going to have to grow thicker skin than that, Princess,” Henry laughed. “Not while I’m around she won’t. I’m sorry Love, we’re going to have to be tied up in our home for a while, but it’ll get better,” Brody lifted her chin and looked in her eyes. She closed her eyes and tried not to smile. Brody laughed and shook his head, “You missed me, Em?” Emma put her head against his chest, “Yes, Brody, I missed you.”
CHAPTER TWO Emma walked in the house alone and was met at the door by two beautiful children who immediately hugged her in show of love and support. “Mom, did you forget something?” London asked quietly. “No, what was…oh shoot let me grab those bags,” Emma smiled obnoxiously and opened the door. “I got them Em,” Brody smiled and Emma quickly took the bags knowing they would be dropped soon. Maddox and London both hugged Brody. “Now that’s one heck of a welcome,” he laughed. “I’m glad you’re okay Dad,” Maddox said as tears welled in his eyes. “We will all be fine. I love you kid, you know that right?” He asked while cupping Maddox’s face. “I do, I truly do,” Maddox hugged him. Brody looked at Emma and smiled. “Alright is it dinner time yet?” London joked, always trying to lighten the mood. “You had lunch three hours ago,” Emma laughed. “But it’s time to celebrate, right Brody?” London gave him puppy dog eyes. “I don’t know about that,” Brody crossed his arms and lifted his nose in the air, “Ask again.” “Ok,” London giggled, “It’s time to celebrate, right Dad?” “Absolutely,” he hugged her and kissed her head. “And I’m going soft.” Emma giggled. “Better you than me, huh Em?” Brody wagged his eyebrows at her and she laughed. “I’m going to get Lexi,” Emma said still smiling. “You up for some help, Love? Do you need me to come?” Brody smiled and cocked his head to the side. “No, you promised sundaes way to early, get on it Music Man,” Emma said as she walked up the stairs. *** Emma came in the kitchen with Lexington and stood off to the side as Brody helped the kids make sundaes. “Dad, is it alright if I add just a few more?” London looked up at him with sad eyes. “Okay just...just a few, and don’t tell your mother,” Brody whispered. Maddox looked back, and Emma pressed her finger against her lips telling him to ‘Shh.’ He smiled and looked back, “How about you Maddox, what would you like more of?” Brody whispered. “I think this is good,” he answered hesitantly. “No — fair is fair, how about a few more sprinkles,” Brody shook them on and smiled and handed him the bowl. He laughed and turned and saw Emma standing with her eyebrows raised. “I can explain,” Brody quickly said. “Oh you can? ‘Don’t tell Mom.’ I hardly think there’s much explanation for that, Brody,” Emma said and turned away. “Well there is…” Brody stood searching for something to say and laughed, “Lexington did not warn me you were there. Come here Lexi, we need to chat.”
London and Maddox laughed as Emma tried to keep a straight face. Lexington laid her head on Emma’s shoulder and held tightly to her. “You are mad at me as well, huh?” Brody said sticking out his bottom lip and walked away grabbing his bowl of ice cream. “Oh Lexi look what I have,” Brody took a spoonful and made airplane noises trying to coax her. Lexi opened her mouth, and he laughed and reached for her, “Come on girl.” “No,” she said and her lip quivered. Brody looked panicked and quickly put the spoon to her mouth, “Okay, I’m sorry, here.” Lexington opened her mouth and took a bite. Her eyes widened in wonder. He reached for her again, and she laughed and went to him. Brody hugged her and let out a cleansing breath, “Daddy, Lexi,” he whispered as he kissed her cheek. Emma looked at him sympathetically and he shook his head. “It’s going to be alright, Brody,” she said. He hugged her, “I know.” Emma stepped back, “I’m still mad at you.” Maddox laughed and so did London. *** Brody laughed when he walked into his bedroom and saw they were all in the bed. “Where shall I sleep?” He asked and grabbed a pillow. “Right here,” London patted the spot next to her. “I’m not sure I’ll fit,” he laughed. “I can sleep on the floor, I don’t mind,” Maddox said getting up. “No, we’ll figure it out,” Brody laughed, “Where’s Mom?” “She’s putting Lexi in her crib, she’s too little to be scared,” London sighed. “What are you afraid of?” Brody asked pulling her next to him. London looked at Maddox, “You tell him, but wait until I fall asleep I don’t want to hear about it anymore.” Maddox smiled sadly, “Okay London.” “Goodnight, I love you both,” London snuggled up against Brody. “I love you, London,” Maddox smiled sorrowfully. London fell asleep quickly and shook slightly, “Is she alright?” Brody smiled at Maddox, “She does that when she falls asleep. So does Lexi and Emma.” “They’re amazing, this is like a dream,” Maddox said staring at the ceiling, “One I wish to never wake up from.” “You’re an amazing young man, Maddox. As long as I breathe, I’m going to try my hardest to make your life a happy one,” Brody smiled at him. “I do know this isn’t your fault, you didn’t know about me. From what I know, you were my age when you got her pregnant, she was older. It wasn’t okay,” Maddox said and sat up, “She abused you and I’m the result of that.” Brody sat up and looked at him with concern flooding his eyes, “Maddox, she was extremely broken. She was taken and shipped in a box overseas and sold. There are a lot of things you are too young to know but, this is for certain; you’re a gift to me. I love you as much as I love London and Lexington.” “I know, but you don’t have to.” Maddox’s response was truly natural. Brody closed his eyes and hugged him, “I do have to, but more importantly, I want to. I’ve loved you since I learned about you, there’s no turning back. I just wish I could have…”
“Okay let’s be honest here,” Maddox smiled, “You couldn’t have been a father at fifteen.” “Maddox, if I knew about you, I would have found a way,” Brody’s voice was intense. “I believe that. But it just wasn’t meant to be,” Maddox smiled, “Not then anyway.” Brody visibly relaxed. “I also know that she was involved in a sex ring, and that she was extremely young when her abuse began. I know she couldn’t help what she chose for me,” Maddox smiled sadly, “It actually feels good to know that...as odd as it may sound.” “Maddox, how do you know about sex rings?” Brody asked. Maddox took a deep breath, “The people who raised me raised many other children. Most of them left before they were ten or so, some younger, dependent on their physical appearance. I was the only one never sold, or as they said, the only one they adopted.” “Thank God,” Brody said softly. “Yeah I guess,” Maddox looked down and scowled, “There were many others. From what I can piece together, Elizabeth was the only adult that ever visited a child held there. She gave them an envelope whenever she was came. I assume she paid them so that they didn’t get rid of me. Everyone ate well for about a week after she stopped by. The others were also whipped a lot.” “Were you Maddox? Did they whip you?” “Well, I used to step in when the others were beaten. They were so young and scared, like London. Can you imagine watching her plead for her life? Being beaten because she asked for more to eat? Or getting flogged for waking up to use the bathroom?” Maddox asked his voice shook. “Of course not…” Brody said sadly. Maddox smiled, “Well one other good thing I can say about Elizabeth is that one time when she stopped in, I had bruises on my face and back. She asked what happened and wouldn’t let up until I told her. She took them outside and chewed their asses. Oh sorry.” Brody smiled, “Go on.” “I heard her tell them if they ever laid a finger on me again, she would kill them,” Maddox laughed. “And that same day, she told them that I should be allowed to use the library. She knew I loved to read and brought me books every time she came. Once, she stayed for a week, well, stopped in every day for a week, and taught me to read. She was very passionate about it. I was ten and didn’t know how to read, can you even imagine?” “No, I couldn’t,” Brody said sadly, “Your grandmother’s a librarian and Emma’s an editor, the love of books runs in your family.” “I guess so,” Maddox smiled. They sat in silence for a few minutes. “Are they dead? The family I lived with?” Maddox asked. “Yes Maddox. I’m truly sorry,” Brody looked at him. “Don’t be sorry, they were awful people, scum of the earth. There were no other kids in the house at the time. I think they were all sold. A person who reeked of money and power stopped by the day before and gave them a lot of money. Apparently Elizabeth was going to take me for a week. They were taking a vacation,” Maddox explained. Brody sat deep in thought and looked at Maddox, whose expression mirrored his own thoughts. “Maddox, do you think you would like to see a psychiatrist? To help you adjust or…” Brody began. “Do you think I’m crazy?” Maddox asked looking hurt. “No Maddox, not at all. I just want to be sure I’m giving you every opportunity available to get through all of this. I’m actually in awe of you; I don’t understand how you’ve come through all this and seem so well balanced. And when I say that, I mean that if you had Satan on one side of a scale and Jesus on the other, Satan’s ass would be soaring through the air like a rocket to hell...Maddox you are…”
Maddox started laughing. “What’s so funny?” “You are,” Maddox laughed, “Can you just picture Satan flying through the air?” “I guess I can,” Brody laughed. “I’ve read a lot, even parenting articles,” Maddox laughed, “By the way, parents are supposed to be on the same side, that whole ice- cream sprinkle thing…not good parenting.” “Oh great, now I have two of you teaching me!” Brody laughed. “She’s great, Emma I mean,” Maddox smiled, “I can imagine that Elizabeth may have been alright had she not gone through what she did.” “Then I wouldn’t have you,” Brody said without thinking. He looked at Maddox, “And I can’t imagine my life without you, even though it’s only been a few days, Maddox. In all my life, I’ve only felt that way about Emma and London, and then Lexington. We can’t wonder what would have been, we just have to make sure, from here on out, that we cherish one another.” “I agree,” Maddox smiled, “Where’s Emma?” “I assume she has fallen asleep with Lexi,” Brody smiled. “Should you go check…just to be sure they are alright?” Maddox asked. “Will you be okay for a few minutes?” Brody asked. “Yes, and so will she,” Maddox said looking at London. “I want to continue this conversation Maddox, it’s very important that you talk about things openly with us. And please anytime, anywhere, anything you need just let me or Em know. Life will be much different from here on out,” Brody kissed the top of his head. Maddox smiled and shook his head and laid back, taking London’s hand. *** Brody looked in Lexington’s room, and Emma was asleep rocking her. Brody kissed Emma’s cheek, “Em, I’m going to put her down okay?” Emma smiled and nodded her head yes, “I’m going to sleep in here tonight, just to make sure.” “If you’re concerned than we all stay together, is her portable crib still in the closet?” Brody opened the door and grabbed it. “I’m okay staying in here, I just need them to know we’ll take care of them Brody,” Emma stood up and hugged him. “We also need to show them were safe here Emma. They shouldn’t live in fear.” He kissed her and quickly and walked out the door with the portable crib taking it into their bedroom. Brody walked back in Lexington’s room, and Emma smiled at him, “We’ll get there. Those two have each lost a parent.” “How the hell are we going to explain that Elizabeth killed Troy? That’s going to crush them both,” Brody kissed her hand. “We’ll figure it out. From what I understand, we’re going to be here for a while. Although Mom and Dad want to do a graveside service for Elizabeth. I think it may help give Maddox closure.” Emma smiled. Brody closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. “Tired, Brody?” Emma asked walking towards him. He opened his eyes and smiled, “Intense conversation with Maddox, who by the way loves you Em.” He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “What’s not to love?” She smiled up at him and kissed his lips softly, “I love him too.” “I know,” he smiled and kissed her softly again. Emma smiled, “Let’s get to bed.”
Brody kissed her again a little harder, “Now?” “They’re waiting, right?” Emma moaned as his hand slowly slid down her back. “London’s asleep. Let me go see if Maddox is, don’t move, Love,” Brody looked down at her with glassy, lust- filled eyes. She closed her eyes and nodded her head yes. *** Emma was sitting on the bed when he came back, “They’re asleep.” “Okay — should we talk about…” Emma stood up. Brody put his finger gently over her mouth and shook his head no. He traced her lip with his finger. Closing her eyes and kissed his finger gently. Her hands moved down his stomach, pushed his pants down and gently grabbed him. Soft kisses followed the same path her hand had gone, but before she could take him in her mouth, he pulled her up. “Em,” Brody shook his head no and kissed her. He grabbed her, lifted her up and wrapped her legs around him as his tongue entered her mouth slowly. Their kiss became deeper as he laid her on the bed and pulled her panties off. He kissed her belly and slowly started moving lower, Emma moaned loudly, “If I can’t, you can’t,” she started to sit up. “And our daughter is…” Brody pulled her up and kissed her, “How about a sixty eight?” Emma looked at him, confused as Brody opened the door and looked down the hall checking to make sure no one was there. He quickly pulled her into London’s room. He shut the door and kissed her hard on the mouth as he pushed her back into the wall, his kisses moved to her breast. He lightly tugged at her nipple through the thin material of her shirt. She pushed against him and whimpered. He kissed down her stomach and was on his knees before her. He quickly lifted her leg over his shoulder and began licking her softly. “Brody, what’s a sixty eight?” She whimpered. Brody laughed a deep dark laugh and the vibration sent her over the edge. She began to slide down the wall slowly, unable to stand as she exploded. Brody stood, wrapped her legs around him and swiftly pushed into her. Her back was to the wall as his thrusts hastened and he released, hissing through his clenched jaw against her chest. They sat on the floor trying to catch their breath, holding each other tightly. “I could stay wrapped like this forever Em.” “Me too,” she smiled up at him. “Hey Brody,” Emma said softly, “What’s a sixty eight?” Brody laughed softly as he kissed her neck, “I go down on you and you owe me one.” Emma looked confused. Brody raised his eyebrows and then smiled. “Oh, I get it,” Emma giggled. *** Emma walked out of the bathroom as Brody was laying Lexington down in the portable crib. She looked at the bed and laughed softly. “It’s good, right?” He asked hugging her. “Yes, very good,” Emma kissed him. “Just how long do you think this will go on?” Brody asked softly. “I don’t know Brody,” Emma smiled sadly.
“Well I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it? Besides bedroom wall and floor sex is alright, huh?” “Better than alright,” Emma kissed him. “We should sleep, we have lots to chat about tomorrow, Em,” Brody looked at her and closed his eyes. “Third drawer talk?” she asked. “Sure, but Maddox was very forthcoming with some information this evening. I believe we have bigger problems than we initially anticipated. ..” “Ok but he’s such an amazing kid, Brody. I can’t believe how strong he is. How fast he’s adjusting,” Emma closed her eyes, “Brody…” “I asked him if he wanted to see a psychiatrist and it upset him, made him feel as if I thought he was crazy. And what is truly crazy is that I believe he is better adjusted than I am,” Brody smiled, “I just found out I had a son a week ago Em, and he’s very much a part of me as the girls are. I love him, I need him to be okay, I want to take care of him, and he seems…” “Dad,” Brody and Emma turned around and saw Maddox getting up out of bed. “Maddox,” Brody began, “I’m sorry if…” “I need you, too,” Maddox said as tears fell down his face, “I’m just afraid that this is going to end somehow, and I need to be strong so that I don’t go crazy.” Brody hugged him. Emma blinked rapidly so the pending tears wouldn’t fall. Maddox looked up and wiped his face, “I love you…Mom…please don’t cry.” Emma gasped, and the tears fell. Brody pulled her into their hug, “Thank God we’re stuck here for a bit. Can you imagine what the press would do with photos like this?” “Hey Maddox, Em and I want to show you something,” Brody smiled. “We shouldn’t leave her. If she wakes up she’ll be upset,” Maddox said, looking towards London. “I’ll go grab it. We can sit in the hall with flashlights,” Emma smiled as she left the room. Emma ran up the stairs and handed the envelope to Brody, smiling. Brody opened the envelope and handed its contents to Maddox. Maddox read the document with a flashlight and smiled. “You, Maddox, are my son and now we have it on paper. They can’t take you from me,” Brody smiled, “And tomorrow we file legal guardianship paperwork. Emma will be your guardian, so if lightning strikes me dead, you’ll still be a part of this family forever Maddox, not just by chance alone but also by choice.” Maddox closed his eyes, “How did this work, I mean don’t they need proof, did you just pay someone to do this?” “No, Maddox, before I came looking for you, we had samples of your hair and Elizabeth’s medical documentation. We did a DNA report and found she was indeed your mother. The night I saw you I had no doubt you were mine, but my right hand man, Clive, did have a report already in the works. I didn’t need it; however, it made this go much more smoothly, and at least one charge has been dropped,” Brody smiled. “So I’m your son legally as well?” Maddox asked Emma. “Yes,” Emma smiled, “Always and forever.” “Which means we need Lila, your Dad’s publicist and my best friend, to come here in the morning. Lots of pictures and a press release. You ready for all of that?” Emma asked him. “I guess, but what if it causes this family to be in more danger?” Maddox asked. “We’re a family, our family will deal with it together,” Emma hugged him. “Alright then,” Maddox sucked his cheeks in, trying not to smile. “It’s okay to be happy Maddox,” Emma smiled, “Your father does that same thing when he’s trying not to smile, let it go.” He laughed, and she did too.
*** Emma’s parents, Henry and Caroline, and the kids were outside playing as Emma watched out the window smiling. “Lila’s on her way,” Brody said from behind her. “Perfect,” Emma beamed as she turned and looked at him. Brody smiled as he slowly stalked towards her causing her eyes widened. “They’re right outside Brody,” she whispered. “Are they busy?” He smiled seductively. “London’s riding bike and …” Emma stopped when his face change from predatory jungle cat to rabid dog. “He doesn’t have a bicycle?” Brody snapped. “It’s okay Brody, we’ll get him one. He was riding mine, well trying to. I don’t think he’s ever ridden one, and he didn’t want to try anymore. I didn’t push because…” “Fuck,” Brody snapped, “My fifteen year old son doesn’t even know how to ride a fucking bike! Em, I’m so pissed at those fuckers! If they weren’t dead I would be killing them with my bare fucking hands!” “Brody, it’s going to be…” “No, it’s fucking not! The shit he told me last night, Em...how the fuck didn’t I know that I had a kid out there? He was fucking abused and…” Emma tried to reach for his hand, “Not now, damn it Em, this is fucking insane, all of it! I need a moment.” Brody turned to walk away, and Emma yelled, “Well, you don’t get one!” He turned around as she began to cry, “Em I…” “NO! We’re in this together, and you need to get a grip! He needs us to be strong together, and if you need a moment all the damn time, well, you’re just being a PUSSY!” Brody’s jaw dropped in shock. “Now snap the fuck out of it!” Emma stormed past him into the office and got online. Brody walked in a minute behind her fighting to hold his composure, “Emma what are you doing?” “Ordering a damn bike!” She snapped, “But I’m more than sure that’s not what the problem is Brody. Your problem is that you’re hurting because you know he is. And it tears your heart to pieces because you want to do what’s best for him. And you feel like you have to tiptoe around him. Trust me, I get that, but you and I are in this together, Brody — you ass. I don’t need two people to tiptoe around. He needs us. I need my husband to be strong for me and this walking away isn’t strong. This is...screw it, the bike’s ordered. I’m going outside!” Brody grabbed her and hugged her, “Okay Em, I get it.” “You better,” she began to shake, “I need you to talk to me, I can’t do this without you.” “You don’t have to, I’m sorry,” he kissed the top of her head and rested his chin on top of it. “I want you to tell me when you’re angry. I want you to be able to vent to me, but don’t you walk away from me anymore,” Emma whispered. “I promise I won’t, I promise,” he held her and swayed back and forth slightly, and she eventually calmed down. “Alright, it’s a beautiful day, and we should be out there with them. Tonight we need to talk,” Emma pulled away. “About?” Brody wiped her tears and smiled gently at her. “The third drawer Brody,” she looked up and shook her head. He smiled shyly and looked down at her, “You sure?” “I am,” Emma said closing her eyes. ***
Emma was doing dishes when she heard someone come up behind her, “Is Lexi asleep already?” “It’s Maddox, sorry,” Maddox stood next to her. “Oh, I thought it was your Dad,” Emma smiled. Emma looked at him, and he appeared to be trying hard to figure something out. “Do you think it would be alright if I go outside for a bit?” He asked looking up at the ceiling avoiding eye contact. “It’s dark out there; let me finish up and…” Emma began to offer. “No, it was silly,” Maddox started to turn away. “Oh, no you don’t. You and your father are going to drive me crazy. Just spill it,” Emma said grabbing his hand, smiling. He looked at her and let out a held breath and looked uncomfortable. Maddox took a deep breath and looked at Emma. His brows creased and he exhaled again and closed his eyes. His body stiffened and he opened his eyes, “No.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” Emma said and let go of his hand, “Maddox, you know I was joking right?” “Yes I do,” Maddox said. He stood against the counter and scratched his head looking down at the floor. Maddox was uncomfortable. He concentrated on breathing steady as he tried to figure out how to ask for help. It was not something he was used to doing. He learned to take care of himself and learned quickly that asking for help made him look weak. Looking weak caused unwanted attention and pain — so much pain. Emma was unsure of what to do for him, so she just stood and waited for him to talk, and eventually he did. “It bothered me today that London at eight can ride a bicycle, and I can't. That’s all,” he finally looked up. Emma smiled sadly, “It upset Brody that you never had the opportunity to learn. We ordered a bike today, and it should be here soon.” “Yours is fine, it’s just…I was rather embarrassed,” Maddox looked quickly up and then back to the ground. “Maddox, when London learned to ride her bike, I had to hold the seat and run behind her for hours until she could balance. There were lots of scratches and bumps. She was taught and it took time, no one gets it right away. Is that why you wanted to go outside?” Emma asked smiling slightly. “Yes, but…” Maddox began. “But nothing, let's go, just you and I,” Emma turned on the outside lights and they walked outside. “Let’s do this,” she grinned. “I’m a little uncomfortable with this,” Maddox admitted. “Well, tough,” Emma laughed, “I was uncomfortable being taught by my eight year old how to play piano, and I admittedly suck at it, but I did it. You want this, let’s go.” “I do,” Maddox tried not to smile, “Alright then.” *** Brody walked downstairs and looked in the kitchen for Emma. He looked in the living room, family room, and bathroom. His heart raced as he ran up the stairs. London was asleep in Lexington’s room where she had agreed to stay. She had told him she wanted to stay in there in case Lexi got scared. Brody knew it was because she was still frightened from the night he was arrested. He opened Maddox’s door and peeked in. His bedside light was on, but he wasn’t there. Brody raced down the stairs and into the office, “Clive, where are Emma and Maddox?” “Emma was in the kitchen…” Clive began and saw Brody’s face.
Clive jumped up and turned on the surveillance monitors. Brody ran out the door and began yelling for them. “Brody, they’re here, it’s fine,” Clive ran into the kitchen. “Where?” He snapped. Clive pointed out the window. Brody saw Emma and Maddox laughing as she let go of the bicycle seat. Emma was clapping and cheering as he took off down the driveway. Brody walked out the door as Emma began running towards him yelling, “Brakes, Maddox brakes! SHIT!” Brody and Emma ran to the tree that Maddox had run into. They got to him at the same time, “Are you okay?” Maddox opened his eyes and nodded his head quickly up and down. “Thank God,” Brody said hugging him. Maddox sat up, “I can’t breathe.” “Damn it, where are you hurt?” Brody said looking him over. “No, you’re squishing me,” Maddox smiled and looked at Emma. “You did it,” she said smiling. Maddox looked back, “I went pretty far.” “You did,” she smiled broadly, “Are you sure you’re okay?” “I’m pretty good. Wow, I went pretty far. I think I did alright! Well, except the hitting the tree part,” Maddox laughed and stood up, “I want to do it again.” “Maddox…maybe tomorrow,” Brody began. “Good God Brody, leave him alone! Let’s go Maddox,” Emma laughed and held the bike, “Ready?” Maddox laughed and nodded his head. “Go,” she said as she ran behind him and let go. Maddox laughed and looked back at Emma and Brody. He started to fall and put his feet down, catching himself. He cheered and put his hands up in the air triumphantly as Emma and Brody clapped and cheered. “Go help your boy,” Emma smiled at Brody. “You’re sure?” Brody asked, “I mean…” “You’ll do fine. Just let go when he seems steady enough, go!” Emma laughed. After a few times up and down the driveway, Maddox was doing it alone. Emma went inside ahead of them and grabbed them each a drink and made them a tomato and cheese sandwich. It was eleven at night, but she knew they would be hungry after all of that exertion. Brody and Maddox walked in, laughing and talking, “I made you both sandwiches,” Emma sat them on the breakfast bar. “Good job, wench,” Brody said and smacked her bottom. Emma gasped. He looked down and tried not to smile. “Brody,” Emma scolded him. “What, Love?” Brody looked up from his sandwich at Emma and smiled. Emma looked shocked. “Would you like some of this Em?” “No, Brody but you...Brody you can’t …” Emma looked at Maddox and he was biting his cheeks again, “You know that it’s not okay to call a woman a wench, right Maddox? Or to hit her on the butt.” “Yes,” he choked out. “Em come on, Maddox, it was a joke. She’s my wife and she’s never been up…” Brody looked at Emma, and she scowled. He rolled his eyes, “Oh fine, Maddox that was wrong. I shouldn’t have.”
“I understand,” Maddox smiled and took a bite of his sandwich. Emma walked into the hall and heard them both start to laugh. She shook her head and walked up the stairs. *** Brody walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed and whispered, “You asleep, Em?” “I was, I think I was. I...Is everything okay? Is Maddox okay?” She asked sitting up. “He is. Thank you for tonight by the way. You’re amazing with him,” Brody kissed her nose, “He’s still awake, probably has that triumphant teenage boy air about him.” “I can’t believe you have a fifteen year old son,” Emma smiled, “Unbelievable.” “Em, if I’d never met you I’d never have found out,” Brody flopped back on the bed. Emma smiled ran her fingers through his hair, “Tired?” “Exhausted, why what did you have in mind?” Brody winked. “Well we were supposed to talk about…” Emma stopped when she saw his eyes getting heavy. “You are tired.” Brody sat up, “Sorry, seriously unlike me. I haven’t been able to sleep since…well since I’ve come home, and I’m a mess, I need a shower.” There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Brody said and stood up. “Hi, I was wondering...I wanted to thank you Emma,” Maddox smiled, “I mean Mom.” Brody patted him on the back, “I am going to shower, and I’ll be quick.” “Sit down,” Emma patted the bed. Brody took off his socks and threw them in the laundry basket and laughed, “These are foul.” He took off his shirt, and Maddox saw his back; the scars from being whipped, and from the stab wounds, before Brody shut the bathroom door behind him. “Maddox, are you alright?” Emma whispered. “Who did that to him?” He gasped. “Oh Maddox, it’s a particularly long story…” Emma stopped when she saw tears in his eyes. They sat silently for a long time. “Did she do that to him?” Maddox voice was so soft she almost didn’t hear him. Brody came out of the bathroom and smiled, “You sleeping in here?” “Did she do that to you?” Maddox said louder. Brody looked confused. “Your back, he saw your back,” Emma looked at him sadly. “No, I don’t think so. I really don’t remember, long story. But I’m fine,” Brody smiled and threw on a shirt, “See? All gone.” Maddox gulped, trying to calm himself down. Emma touched his hand softly, “Maddox – we’re all going to be fine.” “Do you actually believe that?” He snapped. “Hey Maddox,” Brody sat next to him, “She does or she wouldn’t have said it, alright?” Maddox looked nervous. Emma looked at Brody, “Its fine Brody, he’s upset.” “I get that. I pulled the same shit this morning, Maddox,” Brody smiled, “I was extremely upset that… well I was upset. Em reminded me that we need to be strong. So let's just do that for each other. We’re family.” Maddox looked at Emma, “I didn’t mean…” and his lip began to quiver. “I know,” Emma smiled, “It is completely understandable that you may get upset.”
“But unacceptable that I would treat you like that, I apologize,” Maddox stood up, “Good night.” “Hey wait a minute. I thought you were staying in here,” Emma smiled, “I was going to go stay with London and Lexi for a while. Stay with your Dad.” “Watch some TV?” Brody asked as he moved over. “Just a little, it’s late and you’re both tired. Love you both, good night,” Emma shut the door behind her.
CHAPTER THREE Brody walked out of the bathroom, and Maddox looked up at him with wide eyes. Brody smiled, “What’s up?” “The news. I saw some of the news, they showed our photos and some video clips,” Maddox looked scared. “What kind of video Maddox?” Brody swallowed hard. “Of you, and …” Maddox stopped and looked nervous. Brody’s phone rang, and he answered, “Lila.” “Brody we have a problem…” Lila took a deep breath. “Yes, I heard. My son was watching fuc…television and…what video Lila?” Brody sneered. “The Zorro one, Brody this is NOT good. But at least it was a PG version,” Lila tried to calm him down. “How the fuck is any of that PG, Lila?!” He yelled. He looked over at Maddox who looked back at the television. Brody watched. “British rocker Brody Hines was missing for almost a year, his whereabouts were unknown. We received dated sex videos today. Now folks, I have to tell you this isn’t something you want your children to see,” Bob Burbanks laughed. The video rolled. “Maddox, please don’t watch this,” Brody said. “I already saw it,” Maddox said looking down. “Lila!” Brody snapped, “What the fuck are you going to do about this?!” Emma walked in the bedroom, “What’s going on?” “Lila, Em just walked in. I have to go,” Brody closed his eyes. “Hold on Brody, we need to set up an interview. Tomorrow at your place to tell your side of the story. This will all work out,” Lila said reassuringly. “No, Lila,” Brody snapped. “There’s no other way. Talk to Emma and text me back ASAP,” Lila hung up. “Em, videos have been released,” Brody took her hand, “Maddox, it’s not what you think okay?” Maddox looked at Emma, confused, “Are you involved in…did you know about…” “Oh Maddox,” Emma tried to hug him. He moved quickly up the bed, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in his knees. “Maddox,” Brody sat on the bed, “Emma knew nothing of this.” “Then you,” Maddox snapped, “Did you hurt children or women or…” Emma sat next to Maddox and looked at Brody, who appeared terrified and confused. “No, Maddox, of course not, never,” Brody looked at Emma. She continued, “Remember I told you it was a long story and we shouldn’t talk about it?” Maddox nodded his head yes, “Okay, well...we wanted to protect you from the ugliness in the world Maddox…” “I lived it Emma, I know what that is!” Maddox yelled, “I heard the cries at night from those children. I know what he was doing to them, so don’t try to protect me from that shit! And don’t tell me he wasn’t involved!” “Maddox, you saw the scars. He was drugged, he didn’t do any of this willingly,” Emma hugged him, and he cried. “I felt safe here,” he whimpered. “Maddox, we will keep you safe. Please son, believe me when I tell you I would never hurt anyone
intentionally, especially not my family,” Brody sat and looked down. “Okay, the whole story Maddox?” Emma asked. Maddox looked up and wiped his face, “Please!” he cried almost pleadingly. Brody looked at Emma and sighed. Emma smiled sadly at him. Brody started the story off at when he and Henry went to find Elizabeth and did his best to give an age appropriate explanation. He told him about being drugged and not remembering Emma except for the dreams and that when he saw her his memories began flooding back. “The marks on your back?” Maddox asked. “I was drugged, abused, beaten, and stabbed,” Brody smiled, “But I’m fine now.” “You have to tell them Dad. The news is making you look like…” Maddox stopped. “A freak?” Brody laughed. “Well I was going to say perv, but freak works,” Maddox visibly relaxed. “We need to be careful though Maddox. We’re doing what we can to figure it all out, okay?” Emma smiled, “May I hug you now?” Maddox hugged Emma, “I’m so sorry,” Emma said. “None of us asked for this, but we are stronger when we stand united Maddox. We’ll get through this,” Brody wrapped his arms around both of them. *** Brody walked into the kitchen and kissed Emma on the cheek, “It seems my dear uncle’s in the States. He saw the news and would like to meet Maddox. Do you have any objections, Em?” “No,” Emma said distractedly. “But we need to get ready for the interview. Is Maddox still asleep? The news crew will be here soon, Brody,” Emma anxiously cleaned up the counter from preparing breakfast. “Em, come here,” Brody pulled her into his arms and held her. Emma let out a breath and returned his hug. “This is too much for him,” she whispered. “It’s too much for all of us. We’re still in this together, right?” Brody lifted her chin and looked into her eyes, seeking confirmation. Emma nodded her head, “When will you stop doubting me Brody? If I’m still here after all of that has happened, I’m not going anywhere.” He closed his eyes tightly and held her even tighter. *** Brody sat in the family room across from The Today Show’s anchor, Matt. “Good morning, we are live from Brody Hines’ family home to talk about the video that was released last night, seen by millions of viewers all over the world. Thank you Brody, for inviting us here today so that your side of the story could be told.” “Thank you for coming,” Brody looked up at him. “So let’s jump right in, shall we? What the heck was all that?” Matt asked. “Footage of when I was missing,” Brody sat back and nervously wrung his hands, looking at Matt. “Now, you and I didn’t have time to plan this interview. I know how you feel about privacy, so that must have sent you over the edge,” Matt smiled at him. “It would have, normally,” Brody answered. “What do you mean? You’re not alright with this invasion of privacy, are you?” Matt asked. “Of course I’m not alright with this. It’s sick. My son was the one who saw it first and…” Brody
started to say angrily. “Hold up. Your son, Maddox, is fifteen, right?” Matt asked. “Yes,” Brody raised his eyebrow in warning. “That means you were fifteen or so when he was born,” Matt looked up from his notes. “Or so,” Brody looked angry. “And you knew nothing of him?” Matt asked. “No,” Brody shook his head. “And due to an ongoing investigation you’re not able to discuss in detail how it all came about?” Matt asked. “Correct,” Brody said, letting out a breath. “Well, let me piece together for our viewers what is public record,” Matt read from his notes, “Your sister in law is his biological mother and you’re his father. DNA was provided to verify those facts.” “Yes,” Brody’s answer was clipped. “She was quite a few years older than you and missing, presumed dead, for about thirty years?” Brody asked. “Yes,” Brody answered. “So your child with Elizabeth was a product of…” Matt began. “Matt, watch it. My son will have quite enough to contend with already,” Brody warned. “Okay. You didn’t know about him?” Matt asked. “Of course not!” Brody snapped. “Do you despise his mother for what she did to you at fifteen years old, Brody?” Matt asked. “She was a young child shipped in a box and sold into a life of hell. I’m pretty sure she didn’t choose to become who she was,” Brody growled. “No, but she chose to have sex with a minor, Brody, that’s statutory…” Matt argued. “Enough! Do you hear yourself? She would have fared better had she been raised by a pack of fucking wolves. She was abused, controlled, and drugged. I was at a bar at fourteen or fifteen playing music. I chose to be there when I met her. I chose that!” Brody yelled at Matt. “You were a child yourself, Brody,” Matt said with genuine concern in his eyes. “I’m well aware of that. As shitty as life was back then, the circumstances were beyond my control. I chose to do drugs and drink and have sex, and then I had a moment of clarity and got the hell away from that life. I then made choices to become better, do better for myself. Elizabeth didn’t have the same option, or didn’t know that she did,” Brody explained. Matt looked at him, “How’s your son, Brody?” “He’ll be fine. I’m making sure of it,” Brody scowled. “His mother allegedly caused the accidents that killed your father and Emma’s ex- husbands deaths. How do you feel about that?” Matt asked softly. “There’s not a damn thing I can do to change it,” Brody looked down sadly. “And the videos, Brody...Were your actions by choice?” Matt asked compassionately. “No, Matt, I wasn’t willing...I was drugged and…” Brody looked up as Maddox walked in the room. “Show them your back Dad. Please, show them, so they know who you are,” Maddox pleaded. “Maddox come on,” Emma took his hand. “I want this all to go away, so we can have normal, whatever the hell that is,” Maddox clenched his jaw. “Maddox, go with Em okay?” Brody stood up, “Excuse me for a moment.” They walked into the kitchen and Brody hugged Maddox, “We’ll all be fine, okay?” “I want them to see Dad, see what happened to you. Then maybe you won't get taken away again,” Maddox cried.
“Em?” Brody looked to her for guidance. “Whatever you decide, we’ll support you,” Emma hugged him and Maddox. “Maddox, we need to keep you safe to, okay? Please stay with Em,” Brody hugged him and walked away. *** “We are back with Brody Hines and, well because we are on live TV; you all just got a peek at Maddox Hines. Who, by the way Brody looks exactly like you,” Matt smiled. Brody smiled, “Apparently, he acts an awful lot like me, as well.” “Is that a bad thing?” Matt smiled. “No, I suppose not,” Brody stood up, “He wants you all to see I’m not some sicko. I was drugged beaten and yes, raped. These acts are on video as well. However the video released served its purpose, it made me look pretty bad. This happened over almost a year ago. It’s not pretty.” Brody lifted his shirt over his head, revealing his back to the camera. “The large one is from a stab wound and the others are from being whipped. I won’t share that video with the public. It’s very graphic and I’m not at all willing,” Brody said pulling his shirt back over his head and sitting back down. “You were drugged?” Matt asked sadly. “Yes, Emma noticed the difference in my pupils,” Brody answered softly. “She has seen the videos?” Matt asked, “All of them and she’s still here. I must tell you, I don’t need anyone else to believe or accept any of this, aside from her and my children,” Brody sat back. “Well you actually do Brody. A jury needs to believe you, your fans need to believe you,” Matt scowled. “That would be wonderful. However, I don’t give a fuck what anyone aside from my family believes,” Brody smiled. “We’re going to take a short break and return after this commercial break,” Matt smiled at the camera. “Walk with me Brody,” Matt stood up and looked at him, “Somewhere private.” Brody led Matt out the back door and they sat on the patio. “Stop being an ass Hines, I’m trying to fucking help you,” Matt snapped, “You do need the public to be on your side, you ass!” Brody just looked at him. Matt continued, “I lied to my bosses today. They received information, exposing shit that could put your entire family at risk. Hines, I had already talked to Lila and knew we were doing this today. I told them that you would be willing if this went to you. And that we would have exclusive future interviews, only if this information wasn’t released. They agreed. So cut the shit, Hines!” “What information?” Brody asked looking down. “Well, the accident reports for your father and Emma’s ex, and a copy of a forged passport that is believed to be Elizabeth’s. The name of someone you’ve been looking for. Information on the people who had Maddox. There’s a lot of shit in there Hines. Most of which could clear you of all the speculation created by the reports about you from last night,” Matt looked at him. “The police are aware of most of that already,” Brody looked up at him. “They’re not pushing all that hard to clear your name Brody. I spoke to Detective Banks this morning, and he may as well have said he would do whatever it took to nail your ass to the wall,” Matt shook his head. “I fear for my own family just knowing this shit. As a reporter, I know that you have the potential to blow thirty years’ worth of scum out of the damn water. You need to be really careful here Hines.” Brody looked at him and sat back, “Thank you.” “I like you. I believe you. Trust in me a little here, Brody. And you may not like this, but I want to
portray a happy family here, so this interview needs to involve them a bit,” Matt smiled. *** “Welcome back we are here with Brody, Emma, Maddox, Lexington, and London,” Matt smiled at the camera. “You all look great,” Matt looked at them. “You do too,” London smiled and Matt laughed. “You’ve all been through horrible events in the past year…” Matt began but was interrupted. “We have, but we are happy. We love each other, and I have a big brother and little sister and a Brody, or Dad as I call him now and…” London gushed. “Okay, London,” Emma smiled at her and Brody laughed. “And we have a spokesperson- slash- London who sees beauty through all the ugliness in life,” Maddox chuckled. “Look at us. There’s no ugly here. We love each other more,” London smiled at Maddox. “More than what?” Matt smiled at London. “Anything...duh,” she laughed loudly. Matt looked at Brody. “You asked for this,” Brody said. “And I’m glad I did,” Matt sat back, “London do you want to take over here?” “Sure,” she stood up, “This is my family and we are good people. So good, in fact, that God added to it. We have Lexi and Maddox now and it’s perfect. Maddox say hello.” Maddox smiled, “Hello.” “Now say ‘Cheerio’,” London laughed. Maddox grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap, “Cheerio. Now shall we allow this man to do his job, London?” London laughed, “Sure but I was doing alright, wasn’t I, Lexi? Oh this is Lexi. Lexi, who is this?” “Dadadada,” Lexi babbled. “Yes it is good job,” London clapped and so did Lexi, “She walks now.” “That’s great,” Matt laughed, “London, how did you become so shy?” “Oh, you know,” she rolled her eyes and laughed. “I believe it was because she comes from a good family who’s encouraged her to be herself, loved her and made her feel precious,” Maddox smiled. “Not a crazy, abusive, messed- up bunch,” Matt smiled at him. “No, quite the opposite. I’ve never felt such an overwhelming feeling of…love, ever. If I could choose a fairytale family, this would certainly be it,” Maddox blushed, and London hugged him. “And it’s not just by chance, but by choice,” Brody said as tears filled his eyes. “Thank you Dad, for finding me,” Maddox looked down. London kissed his cheek, “Don’t be sad, Maddox.” “I’m not,” Maddox hugged her. “Holy shit, I’m going to cry on public television, shut those damn cameras off!” Matt snapped. Emma smiled at Matt, “Are they using the five second delay?” “One could only hope,” Matt said and laughed. “Are we done here?” Brody asked. “Yes, I think so,” Matt stood and shook Brody’s hand and then pulled him into a hug, whispering, “I’m leaving you the information. Get it to someone who can blow this shit apart, and keep yourself and your family safe.” “Thank you Matt, for everything,” Brody hugged him.
*** “They’re asleep?” Brody asked Emma as she closed London’s door gently. “Yes, is Maddox?” Emma asked. “He’s insisted he felt better about everything, and that he was fine in his room,” Brody smiled and hugged Emma. “Wow, what a day,” Emma said as she stroked his face, “Are you alright?” “I am, but maybe we could chat about the third drawer,” he smiled. “The third drawer?” Emma nodded her head. She looked up and kissed him quickly, “Sounds so dirty.” “It was a lot dirtier before our trip at Christmas,” Brody smiled and pulled her against him tightly. He lowered his hands down to her rear, cupped her inner thighs from behind, and lifted her. She wrapped her legs around him and smiled. “What changed?” she asked as she looked at him. “You,” he kissed her. “Oh really?” She pulled back. “Absolutely, very relaxed and hot as hell,” he wrapped his lips around hers drawing them out lightly. “I wasn’t before?” She asked pulling away. “Hot yes, relaxed no. It took a lot of work to get you to relax. Not that, I didn’t completely enjoy it Em, but that first night on the floor, that was relaxed and so fucking hot,” Brody kissed her harder and sat on the bed. Emma pushed against him and whimpered. He pulled her shirt over her head and kissed her breast and then tugged lightly on her nipple. “Hasn’t happened since I have been back, Squirt,” he started to run his hand down her stomach and she pulled away from him and stood up. “Em get back here,” Brody chuckled. “I said not to call me that again,” Emma pulled her shirt over her head. “Em get over here,” Brody stood up smiling. “No, let's talk about…” Brody grabbed her around the waist. “Not now Em,” Brody kissed her neck. “I said NO!” She snapped quietly. He lifted his hands in the air and stepped back trying to hide his amusement. “It’s not funny,” she scowled. “I never said it was, I said it was hot,” Brody raised his eyebrow and continued to stare in her eyes. Emma turned around and walked into the closet, “Can we please just do this?” Brody walked in the closet and grabbed the key, brushing up against her, “Sure.” Emma felt his breath against her neck. He opened the door, “Ladies first.” Emma looked down and he stood in the narrow doorway almost filling it completely. “What are you waiting for Em?” he whispered against her neck. As she slid between him and the door, she felt him against her belly. “Em?” He asked cocking his head. “You need to move Brody, or I might hurt you,” she said looking up at him. He licked his lips slowly as he looked down at her. He stood up causing his erection to push against her harder. “You worried about this Em?” He lowered his head until his lips almost met hers, and he felt her breath hitch.
He smiled, and put his hands on her shoulders. Her mouth opened slightly as she felt her need for him sharpen. He kissed her head swiftly and brushed past her. Emma slouched against the door and moaned softly. “Okay, so we know what — Em you alright?” Brody smiled sheepishly. “Yep,” her voice was higher than normal, which made him grin. “Good. So I was thinking we should probably get rid of the contents in the top drawer. We’ve never needed this before,” he handed her the tube of lubricant. “Em, do you think we need it? I mean, when my hands are between your legs you’re always so fucking hot and wet. I was thinking…” “No, we can toss it,” Emma said. She walked out of the closet, hearing Brody chuckle softly behind her. She returned with a small garbage bag. “What about these? Do you think you need the vibrators? I’m pretty sure that when my cock is inside, filling you, I’m hitting the right spots, right Em?” He asked softly. “Yes, I mean no. No, we don’t need them,” Emma cleared her throat and swallowed hard as she tossed it them in the bag. “As far as I’m concerned, these can go to. Your taste is far more delectable than strawberries and cream, Emma. When my tongue dances inside of…” “No, we don’t need those either,” Emma grabbed the few jars of flavored creams and tossed them. “Great. Drawer two; nipple clamps, Emma…” “No, I don’t need…” “Emma, wait. Give me your hand,” Brody didn’t wait for an answer he just took her hand and placed her pinky in his mouth. He sucked and then lightly clamped it using the object that was foreign to her. Brody’s nostrils flared slightly as he took the clamp off her finger and sucked it again. Emma closed her eyes and then opened them, looking up at him. “You want to throw them out?” Brody asked again. Emma didn’t answer. She was burning with desire, “Maybe not? I know you said no, but shall we try these out just so you can make your decisions based on experience?” “Please,” Emma whispered and then looked up at him. “Okay Em. I’m more than glad to help you out, could you pull your shirt up?” She did as she was asked, “This isn’t for me Em, but I’m going to need to kiss them a bit first, suck a bit, alright?” Emma nodded her head quickly up and down. Brody skimmed her pebbled nipple slowly with his tongue and then the next, “You alright, Em?” She cleared her throat and nodded her head yes. Brody rubbed her peaked nipple between his fingers and sucked slowly on the other drawing it out with his teeth and then moved to the other. “Alright Em, it’s going to pinch a bit and then you’ll feel pressure, almost painful but very bearable. Then, when they’re removed,” he lifted her chin, so she was looking up at him and moved his face closer to hers, “You’re going to feel it right down between your legs, alright Love?” “Yes,” she said with need. He applied them slowly, and she winced, “If it’s too much Em, they come off really quickly. Are you alright?” “Uh huh, yes…I am…Brody?” She said. He turned away and pulled out a small set of round objects, “These, do we throw them out as well, Emma?” She looked at him and let out a deep breath. “Shall we see if you like them first?” Brody’s voice was deep and filled with lust. Emma nodded her head and bit her lip.
“Alright Love, I’m going to pull down your panties and put these inside you slowly,” Brody smiled. “Yes...yes,” Emma said as she quickly stepped out of her panties. “I need you to sit here and spread your legs wide,” Brody put the balls in his mouth and sucked them as he knelt in front of her and widened her legs, “These are small, but would it be alright if I made sure you are ready, Em?” “Please,” she moaned. “Very well,” Brody licked his lips and eased two fingers into her; she pushed into his hand and cried out, “Em now — watch, Love. This is how this works,” he said as he began slipping the balls into her. “This string is so when you are on the edge and can't handle it anymore, when the desire builds so harshly that you feel you’re going to explode, I would like to pull them out and then fill you with all of me.” Emma rolled her eyes to the ceiling and cried out. Brody stood up and kissed her head and turned to the drawers, “Now whips. They sounded interesting until I was, well...I don’t want these, do you?” “No,” Emma moaned. “Could you bring me the garbage, Love?” “Yes,” Emma stood out and moaned loudly and quickly closed her knees. “You alright, Love?” He asked glancing briefly over his shoulder. Emma handed him the bag, “Brody, I…” “Just a minute Love, butt plugs. These are fun, you would feel pressure and fullness especially if was I was deep inside you, fullness that you have never experienced.” “I feel that every time with you,” Emma said softly. “Alright, they go. Besides I have yet to use this,” he held up his pinky. “It would work just as well, better actually,” he dumped the rest of the drawer’s content into the bag, “So, are you willing to part with these Em?” Brody looked at her; her eyes were almost like glass. Her knees were clenched together, and she looked like she was going to fall apart. “Em?” Brody looked at her. “Brody please…” Emma whimpered. “Please what Em?” He asked. “Kiss me, please kiss me,” Emma cried. Brody kissed her, and she thrust her tongue into his mouth and pulled his hair, Brody kissed down her neck and back up and then pulled away, “Third drawer?” He asked. “Brody damn it,” Emma cried. “Tell me what you need, Emma,” his voice was gruff. “You, damn it! Now!” Emma closed her eyes. Brody picked her up and carried her to their bed. He removed his pants quickly and pulled harshly at the string, releasing the balls and Emma cried out loudly. He immediately pushed himself into her forcefully and she fell apart. He laid her down, hovering over her, pounding into her, determined to make her come over and over again. He removed the nipple clamps and she groaned loudly. He used his mouth to alleviate any pain as he continued his hard deep thrusts until he finished, cursing loudly. He lay beside her and pulled her onto his chest, “Now, please let me talk without interruption, All those things are hot, Emma Hines, but nothing compares to what I felt on that floor or at the lake. A beautiful woman, who had never experienced true love or even a real orgasm with a man she’d been with for nearly two decades, is mine. The first time we were together was magic, each time after has been just as magical. Those toys are spectacular Emma, they can help bring any woman seeking or trusting a man with her body and mind to react the way you react to my touch. But when you ejaculated...Fuck Em, that wasn’t spectacular or magical, it was the most awe- inspiring sexual experience of my life. It was you and
me Em, completely and totally connected together in trust and love. So when I call you Squirt, that’s what I’m thinking about. You however, find it insulting. Which by the way, is starting to piss me off.” “It just sounds disgusting,” Emma whispered. “Did it feel disgusting Em?” Brody looked down at her, “Think before you answer, did it feel disgusting or just unfamiliar or...exotic, that’s a much better word.” “It felt wonderful Brody, but…” Emma began. “Em I will never forget about it. I would never want to, so don’t ask me to, please. Maybe we can call it something else. Shall we say flow, or flood, or…” “No!” Emma gasped. “Then you think of a way that won’t offend you. So that, I can discuss it when I want to talk about…” Brody stopped when Emma sat up. “Okay, I’m sorry. And by the way, every time we are together I feel that way. You’re a dream every time,” Emma’s face turned red. Brody smiled and sat up and kissed her. “I love you, Em. Do you think we should start on the third drawer?” Brody smiled. “Sure, just let me take that garbage out, so the kids don’t get into it,” Emma kissed him and stood up. “I’ve got it,” he kissed her and walked out the door. Emma showered and tried to think about an acceptable pet name and came up with nothing. She walked out, and Brody hadn’t returned yet. She put on her pajamas and brushed her hair. She went in and kissed sleeping Lexington and then London. She opened Maddox’s door, and he was asleep with his light on, he’d been reading. Emma picked up his e-reader and looked at it. He was reading The Red Badge of Courage. Emma smiled and bookmarked his page and set it on the night table. Emma kissed his head softly and went to turn off the table. “Goodnight Mom. Thank you,” Maddox smiled, his eyes still closed. Emma smiled and walked out the door, and ran into Brody, “Fuck, Emma.” Emma smiled, “I was just checking on the kids. Brody, is everything alright?” “Are they all okay?” He grabbed her hand tightly. “Yes, Brody. You’re worrying me,” Emma said. “Someone was outside; Clive’s going over the footage on the surveillance cameras now.” Emma looked at him, and he took her face in his hands, “They didn’t get inside the gated area Em okay? They just tried to disarm it. An internal alarm went off. There’s a backup, so we’re fine okay?” Emma nodded her head yes, and he hugged her. “Is everything alright?” Maddox asked as he came into the hall rubbing his eyes. “Yes everything’s fine. We have a kick ass security system,” Brody smiled and pulled him into their embrace. “May I sleep on London’s floor?” Maddox asked. “Why don’t you go climb in our bed?” Emma smiled. “Okay, thank you,” Maddox said. “Maddox what is in your hand?” Brody asked, seeing him hide the soda bottle behind his back. “It’s nothing,” Maddox said nervously. “Did you sneak a soda?” Emma laughed. He shook his head no and started to tense up. He began to breathe harder and sweat beaded on his browse. He felt his eyes began to fill. “Maddox what’s wrong?” Brody tried to steady his voice “I had to go to the bathroom,” his voice shook slightly. “Okay, go ahead to bed and I’ll get rid of it,” Emma smiled.
Maddox released a deep breath, closed his eyes and handed her the bottle full of liquid. He braced himself for the punishment he knew he was about to receive. Emma smiled slightly and looked quickly at Brody, “I’ll be back in a bit.” “Maddox, did you urinate in that?” Brody asked after Emma was out of ear shot. “I had to go…I didn’t want to bother anyone. I couldn’t hold it I’m so…” Maddox began to panic. “Okay but we have a couple bathrooms. Why didn’t you just use one of them?” Brody asked, confused. “I didn’t want to upset you by coming out after…” Maddox began. “Maddox, this is our home, you can use the bathroom whenever you need,” Brody gasped. “Okay but …we couldn’t there,” Maddox closed his eyes. “You can here. Listen, things have been crazy around here, but the rules are simple. Maddox, we’re respectful of each other and love each other. We have a bedtime thing going here, but you’re older than London. If you want to stay up and, I don’t know, play video games or take a piss in the toilet, you can,” Brody tried to contain his anger. “I’m sorry,” Maddox looked upset. “Maddox I’m not upset with you, I just wish, damn it, I wish you didn’t have to endure all that shit!” “Dad, I wish you didn’t have to endure what you did either, okay?” Maddox hugged him. “Thank you,” Brody hugged him, “You’re amazing Maddox.” “I am, aren’t I?” Maddox tried to joke. Brody chuckled, “Damn right you are. You’re my kid, you come by it naturally.” “What’s so funny up here?” Emma smiled. “We’re pretty damn amazing,” Maddox laughed. Emma looked at Brody, “We also can’t talk like that in front of ladies.” “Okay, sorry,” Maddox smiled a big smile. “And you both have smiles that make ladies forget where their heads are, great,” Emma said dramatically, “I’m going to try to carry London in Lexi’s room without waking her, goodnight you two.” “I got it Em,” Brody kissed her quickly and walked away. “Sorry about that...Mom,” Maddox gave her sad eyes. “It’s okay Maddox. We are all learning here,” she hugged him. “I love you, good night.” “I love you as well,” Maddox smiled and walked into the master bedroom. Emma walked in the room as Brody was walking out, “Goodnight.” “When he falls asleep, Emma, I’ll be back. We need to talk about all that third drawer business, and see what Clive came up with. He did contact the police, so if you want to just sleep I can handle this.” “No, we do this together,” she kissed his quickly, “Now go.” “Meet me later?” He winked. “Anytime, anywhere,” Emma grinned. He cocked his head to the side and looked her up and down. “Get out of here, Music Man,” Emma pushed him out the door. *** Emma woke up to sweet kisses being plastered over her face, “Wake up, Squirt.” Emma sat up and scowled, “Brody!” “Shh,” he chuckled and pulled her out of bed. “It’s not funny,” she pouted. “Let’s make a deal. Give it up, and I’ll stop saying it,” Brody pulled her harshly against him and kissed her sweetly. “Don’t we have something to do?” She wiggled away from him trying to hide her amusement.
He threw his head back and groaned, “Yes, damn it!” Emma grabbed his hand, and he followed her down the stairs. “Hey Em, I trust Clive, but this other stuff is between us and only us alright?” He said looking at her. “Of course,” Emma smiled and blushed. “What?” He asked, pushing her hair away from her eyes. “You trust me,” she grinned. “Yes Emma, I always have,” he looked confused. “Not more than Clive,” she put her hands on her hips and scowled, but a smile broke through. Brody shook his head and laughed quietly, “Yes Em, I trust you explicitly. Damn you’re cute.” Brody kissed her, “Cute?” She asked. “Yes Em, cute. When you’re giddy, it’s damn cute,” he kissed her again. “Don’t we have…” Emma cleared her throat and bit her lip trying not to smile. Brody grinned, “Look at you...happy,” and kissed her neck. “We shouldn’t do this right now,” she smiled. “We should be doing lots of things right now, like…” Brody looked up. “You ready?” Clive asked from the door. “You’re in trouble,” Emma sang in his ear softly. “Em,” he used his warning voice and clenched his jaw. “Brody,” Emma mimicked his voice. “Clive, give me a few minutes,” Brody took Emma’s hand. “The police are coming over to check out the footage, they wouldn’t wait until tomorrow,” Clive didn’t move. “Fine. Let’s go, Em,” he dragged her behind her into the office. *** Emma answered the door and rolled her eyes when she saw Detective Banks. “You alone?” Emma asked looking past him. “I was the closest. Some uniformed officers are ten minutes behind me, Sweetheart,” he walked in past her. “You can wait right here for them, then,” Emma said as she walked out of the room and into the office. *** “Banks is here, I don’t trust him. Is this backed up on disk or something, in case?” She stopped when Brody smiled at her. “What?” “Double O Mom,” Brody stood up, “Let’s go bring him in, Clive.” “I got it,” Clive said, working quickly and pulled the scanned disk out and set in his pocket as Brody walked out the door. “Welcome back, Detective,” Brody smiled. “Sure Hines, where’s the surveillance footage?” Banks asked. “Right this way,” Brody said leading him through the kitchen, “Em would you make the nice officer a cup of tea?” “No,” Emma said and Banks laughed. “Please, Love,” Brody smiled. “Would you like a cup, Brody?” She asked. “If you wouldn’t mind,” Brody smiled. ***
Emma walked in with three cups of tea. “Here, yours is black, I don’t know how you take it,” Emma said, handing Banks his tea. “Thank you,” Banks smiled sarcastically. Emma stood next to Brody. “Sit, Em,” Brody said. “I’m fine,” she smiled. “Please?” Emma sat down and watched as Banks looked through the footage. “Who’s that?” Banks asked. “I took some garbage out. That’s when I heard a noise and the alarm chimed alerting us. Right there,” Brody pointed. “Clive, can you enlarge that?” Clive hit a few keys, and the image appeared larger. “It’s a woman,” Banks noticed. “Yes, I believe you're right,” Brody looked closer. “Could be a fan?” Banks asked. “Why would a fan try to disarm our security system?” Emma asked. “They’re going to come out of the woodwork after seeing your husband in action,” Banks looked at her. “How many times did you watch it?” Emma said snidely. “Emma,” Brody warned gently. Banks smiled as he looked away, “Good time to release an album.” “Not a lot of free time when you’re trying to figure out where the last year of your life went,” Brody said softly, looking at the monitor. Emma looked up at him, and he looked down and smiled softly. Emma looked at the ground, and he lifted her chin, “We got this, right?” “Together,” Emma smiled. “Always,” he kissed her nose. “And forever,” she kissed his cheek. Clive watched as Banks looked at them. He was obviously confused and he scowled and looked back at the monitor, “You have a copy for us?” “Yes, here you go,” Brody handed him a disk. “I would like to look around outside,” Banks stood up “Clive will go with you,” Brody stuck out his hand, and Banks reluctantly shook it, “Thank you for coming out.”
CHAPTER FOUR “I am starving, come make a snack with me?” Brody pulled her up. “You okay?” Emma asked. Brody smiled, “Yes, oddly, I feel pretty good. I don’t know what happened with you before Banks came, but you looked so damn happy, Em…and it melted something inside of me,” Emma looked at him and smiled softly. “You know I love you right?” He added. “And I love you,” Emma smiled. Brody looked at her and closed his eyes, “I don’t deserve you, Em.” “I feel the same Brody,” Emma looked down, “I don’t care what we’ve been through or what our future holds, right now it all feels like…” “There’s nothing more right in the world?” He asked, and she nodded her head. Brody closed his eyes and pulled her into his arms, “Would you go on a date with me Em?” Emma smiled, “Sure.” “We could start out the Hines Bistro for a quick bite, and then a little dance place just down the hall,” Emma laughed and Brody smiled. He led her into the kitchen and lit the candles on the counter and brought them to the breakfast bar and set them down and pulled out a chair for her, and she sat. “Thank you,” she smiled. “You are more than welcome,” he smiled back. He turned on the Bose making sure it played only in the kitchen and not throughout the house. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and poured a glass for Emma and himself. He handed her the glass and washed off some strawberries and a peach. He took out the can of whipped cream they had used for the sundaes and some cherries. Brody pulled his chair next to Emma, “Cheers.” They clinked glasses and took a sip, “This is good Em, where did it come from?” “Tessa gave it to me. It’s from the Finger Lakes region in upstate, New York. Surprisingly good.” Brody picked up a strawberry, squirted it with whipped cream, and offered it to Emma. She bit into it, then pulled away and giggled as the juice dripped down her chin. She reached for a napkin, Brody held her chin and licked the juice off slowly, “The strawberries are good, too.” Emma nodded her head yes, and opened her mouth to let out a breath. Brody smiled “Take a drink, Love.” He took a slice of the peach and put half of it in Emma’s mouth, “Share?” Emma smiled and started to take it out of her mouth. He grabbed her hand in his and kissed it, “No hands, Em.” He leaned in and bit it, then kissed her mouth gently and sat back. Emma took a strawberry and put it to his mouth. He ate it then held her hand, licking the juices that had dripped slowly off each finger. “You’re so beautiful,” she said as she sat back slowly. “Thank you. Here’s another strawberry, Em,” he said, watching her. “I wasn’t the one who was hungry,” she smiled. “I seem to have forgotten. I wonder how that happened,” he leaned in for a kiss, and she moved back. “You’re hungry. It’s my turn to feed you,” Emma smiled, and he sat back. She leaned towards him, and he sat further back.
Emma giggled and pushed the plate towards him and sat on his lap facing him. “You’re going to feed me like this, right here in the bistro, Em? It’s scandalous,” he smiled seductively. Emma fed him fruit between kisses. His hands lightly traced lines on her back with each bite. Their eyes danced seductively over each other’s face. He finished the food, sat back and moved his hands lightly up and down her sides. “Thank you Em” Brody smiled. “You feel better now?” Emma asked, squirming. “You’re very ticklish,” he laughed. “You’re very…” she started as Brody slid her more firmly into his lap, “Wow.” “Wow, huh?” Brody smiled. “Wow,” Emma said, grinding her hips against him. They heard the door open, and Emma started to stand. “Don’t you dare,” Brody whispered. “But they’re coming in,” Emma gasped. “And I’m hard as granite Em, stay put please,” he laughed. Emma smiled and put her head to his chest. Banks cleared his throat as he entered the room. “You have a minute?” Banks asked. “Well sure,” Brody chuckled and Emma laughed into his shirt. “We dusted for prints on the box, whoever it was dropped a pair of wire cutters and a screw driver. We are taking them to check them as well. I also found a bag in the trash,” Banks looked at Brody. “No need to dust for prints, they were ours,” Brody chuckled, and Emma giggled against his chest. Banks looked at Emma, whose back was to him. She looked up at Brody and smirked. “Anything else?” Brody asked. “Is she okay?” Banks asked. “She is, we’re on a date,” Brody looked down at her. His face showed mock surprise, and she laughed. “You’re on a date?” Banks chuckled. “Yes, you’re at Hines Bistro. I’m sorry, but the wait staff has retired for the evening. I’m taking my wife dancing right down the way at a quiet little dance club,” Brody said, pointing down the hall. He smiled lovingly at Emma, “We can’t even go to the grocers anymore, but we are having a fabulous time, aren’t we Em?” “We are,” she smiled at Brody. “Clive, could you make sure Detective Banks is shown out, and that everything is locked up?” Brody stood and set Emma on the floor. He turned her around and pulled her back into him. He lifted her hand with his and waved goodbye to Banks, “Bye, bye, Banks.” *** Brody lit some more candles and turned on the song he had written for her when he proposed. Emma smiled, “Awe, my song.” Brody pulled her into his arms and dipped her. They danced slow and close. “You tired Em?” Brody kissed her head. “No, I’m alright,” Emma looked up. “It’s past your curfew, little white rabbit,” Brody kissed her sweetly. “I want to stay here,” Emma closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, “Best date ever.”
Brody laughed, “I would have to agree.” “So good, in fact, that I’m pretty tempted to put out,” Emma smiled. “Really, that good?” Brody’s eyes widened in shock, and they both laughed. “I have to tell you, I’m pretty sure it’s going to get better,” Emma whispered in his ear. Brody kissed her and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his body, “Me too.” Brody walked to the stairs as they kissed passionately, “Hang on, Love.” Brody started to walk up the stairs. “Oh Dad, sorry,” Maddox said from the top of the stairs. Emma jumped down and turned around, “Maddox, we’re so sorry” “No, I’m…okay. I’m going back...Umm, Lexington’s crying and well, London woke up,” Maddox looked confused and embarrassed. “It’s alright, thank you Maddox, I’m sorry,” Emma ran up the stairs. “Maddox, I apologize, let’s get you back to bed,” Brody walked up and Maddox headed towards his own room, “Hey Maddox, it’s alright to come in here.” Emma walked out with the girls, “Family night in the Master Bedroom Inn?” “Of course,” Brody smiled. *** Emma woke, and the kids were still peacefully sleeping. She quietly carried Lexington to her room and laid her down. She watched her sleep; her brown hair was growing thicker, like Brody and Maddox’s. Her plump lips looked like theirs as well. She had Emma and London’s eye shape and skin color, but she changes every day. It amazed her how much she looked like Brody. She imagined Maddox must have looked as an infant. Maddox; sweet, seemingly innocent. It was unreal how quickly he had become adjusted, the way he and London got along was absolutely amazing. His eyes poured out sensitivity like the moon poured out light in the darkest of the night, giving enough glow for even the weariest traveler to find their way. A boy who, through events beyond his control, lived through hell and came out of the deepest parts of it with a pure heart and kind of soul. Emma wondered how he could have possibly survived fifteen years this way. Although it was hard to give Elizabeth credit, she assumed it had something to do with her. *** Brody stood outside with his long arms crossed over his chest, trying to calm himself down. He woke and watched the four people he loved more than his own life sleeping peacefully through the gray clouds that hovered over them day in and day out. He was beyond angry that all of them were in potential danger because of his stupid desire to bring home Elizabeth. It tore him apart to know if he hadn’t done so, Maddox would never have been discovered. And he couldn’t imagine what the rest of his life would have been like. He had to get this figured out; he had to figure out a way to ensure they would all be safe. *** “Good morning,” Emma said softly behind him. Brody looked over his shoulder and smiled, “Morning, Em.” “Penny for your thoughts,” Emma said, walking to him and handing him a cup of tea. He looked at her and frowned. “Okay then,” Emma said and stood beside him looking at the security systems electrical box that had been tampered with the night before. Brody and Emma stood quietly for a few minutes and then he grabbed her hand and kissed it, letting
out a deep cautious breath. “I’m upset too,” Emma squeezed his hand. “Yeah Em, I know,” Brody looked at her and shook his head. Emma looked up at him and smiled, “You look like you’re in self- loathing mode.” Brody smiled slightly, “The many faces of Brody Hines and you seem to figure each one out.” “Tormented rock star, playful friend, loving husband and father…” “You forgot all over me rock star, Em,” Brody smiled. “Oh, I could never forget him,” Emma laughed and nudged him with her elbow, “But the Brody I came out here and found, hurts me as much as he’s hurting himself.” Brody looked at her, confused. “Brody, it kills me to see you angry with yourself. Look at us, we are happier than we have been in a year, we have three amazing kids, and…” “No money, no ability to just go do simple things like watch a show, and no fucking answers as to why this shit is happening,” Brody snapped. “Oh and here’s my favorite — pissed off rock star,” Emma smiled. “Why is that Em?” Brody rolled his eyes. “Because he leads to arguments, and arguments lead to life altering make up sex,” Emma smiled broadly. Brody looked at her out of the corner of his eye, “Em,” he growled. “See, here he comes,” she smiled bigger and clapped. Brody couldn’t help but laugh at her. “I’m not going to make you carry me around on your back this time, but I’ll give you a minute. Just remember, had we missed just one of the horrible events that have happened, we could have missed so many of the wonderful things. With you Brody and those three children, I don’t want to miss a thing,” Emma kissed his cheek and walked towards the house. Brody looked up at the sky and let out a deep breath. He watched Emma walking slowly towards the house. She picked a flower out of one of the flower beds and smelled it and smiled as she went inside. Emma turned to shut the door, saw him and smiled. *** Emma made breakfast as she listened to music. She was bopping around the kitchen when Brody walked in, “Maroon Five?” “Fun music,” Emma smiled a cheesy, obnoxious grin, “Hey, when are you going to start writing again?” “You think my music was too serious back then Em, imagine it now,” he smiled. Emma looked at him and shook her head. “You could go wake Lexi, that will make you smile,” Emma smiled and turned around. “Okay,” Brody said and walked out. Brody’s phone rang after he left. Emma looked at it, and it was an overseas number. “Hello?” “Yes, I am calling for Brody; do I have the correct number?” A man’s voice asked. “Yes, just one…” Emma started. “Emma?” he asked. “Yes. I’m sorry, you have me at a disadvantage,” Emma spoke cautiously. “It’s Bo, I’m in the States. Actually, I’m about ten minutes from your place. I would love to stop by and meet my great niece and nephew, and London,” Bo sounded cheerful. “Alright, just push the button at the gate. See you in a bit,” Emma hung up the phone as Brody walked in with Lexington. “Who was that?” Brody smiled.
“Your uncle. He will be here in ten…” Emma stopped when she saw his expression harden. “Em, I...Damn it,” Brody sneered. “Brody, he wanted to meet Lexington and Maddox. We can…I can,” Emma closed her eyes. “No, Em, it’s fine, if things get odd we can make up some excuse,” Brody forced a smile. “Maddox has a doctor’s appointment today, to see what immunizations he’s had and a normal physical. It’s at eleven,” Emma said anxiously. “Okay Em, we haven’t had the chat about …” Brody smiled when she stepped towards him and hugged him, “Later, alright?” Emma closed her eyes, and he hugged her tighter. “Mom, is breakfast ready?” London called as she ran down the stairs dragging Maddox along. “Yes, but Brody’s Uncle Bo will be here in just a few minutes to meet all of you,” Emma smiled, “Maybe we could wait for him?” “Maddox, let’s set the dining room table,” London giggled. Brody handed Lexington to Emma, “Your great uncle’s an ass, Lexi.” Emma smirked, “And your Daddy shouldn’t talk like that.” “Just making sure she knows,” Brody kissed her head, then went to help the kids set the table while Emma fed Lexington. *** “Brody, Maddox and I were thinking we would like to play in the studio today,” London smiled, and Maddox tried not to laugh. “Oh were you?” Brody chuckled and winked at Maddox. “Since we are stuck here, it would be fun,” London grinned. “Maddox has an appointment later this morning,” Brody smiled at Maddox. Maddox’s face fell, “Maddox, are you alright?” “What kind of appointment?” Maddox asked quietly. “Just a check- up,” Brody said as if it wasn’t a big deal. Maddox looked at him for a moment, his face revealed nothing, “A shrink?” “No Maddox, a regular doctor, just a physical. London and Lexi go to the same office, it’s not a big deal,” Brody finished straightening the chairs. “And if I don’t want too?” Maddox asked with a slightly defiant tone. “Maddox, we can talk about it, alright?” Brody put his hand on his back, and Maddox began to walk away, “Hey, let's go have a chat.” Maddox was fighting to stay calm as Emma walked into the room. She looked at Maddox, “Hey is everything alright?” Maddox began walking away, and Emma grabbed his arm gently, “Maddox…” “Not now,” Maddox said. He pulled away and walked out of the room. Emma started to walk after him, “Em, I’ll go.” Emma watched Brody follow Maddox out of the room. “London, what happened?” “I think Maddox’s upset about going to the doctor,” London answered sadly, “Mom, do you think he’s scared?” “Well, I don’t know London, but I’m sure Brody will help him figure it out,” Emma looked towards the door. “Mrs. Hines, Bo Hines is here,” Clive announced. Emma forced a smile on her face, “Let’s go greet him, girls.”
*** “Hold up, Maddox,” Brody caught the door before it shut in his face and walked in Maddox’s room. Maddox paced back and forth in front of his bed. “You need to talk to me, Maddox...tell me what’s going on,” Brody sat at his desk chair and waited. “I don’t wish to go,” Maddox answered and continued to pace. “Tell me why Maddox. Let me help you figure it out, son,” Brody stood up. “I don’t like doctors,” Maddox answered. “Okay, I don’t either, but its part of life, Maddox,” Brody explained. “Not for me, it hasn’t been,” Maddox whispered. “I can promise you, Emma will make sure…” “Emma’s taking me?” Maddox gasped. “Yes,” Brody answered soothingly. “Now I truly don’t wish to go,” he rolled his eyes. “I can try to go as well if it’ll make you more comfortable,” Brody offered. “You’re supposed to protect me,” Maddox whispered. “I am Maddox, and I always will,” Brody grabbed him and held him tightly. “Don’t make me go,” Maddox whispered. “I won't make you go alone Maddox,” Brody lifted his chin, “I don’t know what it is you’re afraid of, but when you’re ready to tell me, I’m ready to listen. I’ll be going with you Maddox.” They heard London’s little feet patting up the stairs, “You’ll be fine, okay Maddox?” London bound into the bedroom, “Bo’s here. You okay, Maddox?” “I’m fine, thank you London,” Maddox smiled sadly. “Daddio, why don’t you go down? We’ll meet you down there,” London smiled at Brody. Brody looked at Maddox, and he nodded his head yes, “Alright then, see you both down there.” “Maddox,” London smiled, “The doctor’s nice.” Maddox sat on the bed, “Mine wasn’t, London.” “I’m sorry, but I promise you’ll be okay. Besides, we start school in a month, and you need to your shots to get in. You’ll meet friends and have fun,” London smiled broadly, “Maybe a girl?” Maddox laughed, “I don’t think I’ll be ready for that for a very long time.” “Why not?” London asked curiously. “Wouldn’t she take time away from you and Lexington?” Maddox smiled. “Yeah, good point...Forget that pal, I just got you,” London hugged him, and he laughed. “We better get down there.” *** “Bo,” Brody put his hand out to shake his uncle’s. “Hello Brody, thank you for having me,” Bo smiled. Brody looked at Emma and smiled, “Emma made breakfast, let’s go eat. I’m starving. “Is he okay?” Emma said softly. “He is, this is just all new to him,” Brody grabbed the plate of fruit and the homemade hash browns. Bo sat at one end of the table and Brody at the other, “So I’ve met Lexington, she’s beautiful. When will I meet…” “Hi Bo. I’m London and this is Maddox,” London beamed. Bo stood and shook London’s hand, “Pleased to meet you London, you’re gorgeous. Maddox?” Maddox looked up extending his hand when Bo addressed him. He shook Bo’s hand cautiously and looked away quickly, “Ready to eat, London?”
“Yep, sit by me?” London grabbed his hand and pulled him around the table. “So how do you like it in the States, Maddox?” Bo asked. “I like it here very well thank you,” Maddox smiled at Emma as she passed him a plate. They ate quietly. “I’d like to have a shower before my appointment, would that be alright?” Maddox asked Brody. “Of course son,” Brody stood and started clearing the table. “Maddox, it was very nice to meet you,” Bo hugged him. Maddox pulled away after a brief moment and looked up at him. His face showed fear and confusion. “You don’t need to be afraid of me Maddox. We’re family you and I,” Bo said and stepped back. Maddox looked at Emma quickly and back at Bo, “I’m not afraid of you.” Maddox exited the room quickly. Emma settled Lexington and London in the family room and went back to the kitchen where Brody and Bo stood talking. “You sure he’s yours, Brody?” Bo asked. “Did you see him?” Emma laughed knowing it would soften the storm she saw brewing in her husband’s eyes. “I did,” Bo answered quickly. “Looks just like Brody,” Emma smiled and handed a cup of tea to Bo. “Thank you. And Brody looks just like me,” Bo said winking at Emma. “I suppose there are a lot of similarities. He looks a lot like the pictures I’ve seen of his mother Grace as well. The eyes,” Emma rubbed Brody’s back gently. “We had a DNA test done, he’s mine,” Brody answered and looked down at Emma and smiled. “So you had sex with…” Bo began “Christ, Bo,” Brody snapped. “Well I’m just asking,” Bo said defensively. “I was fifteen, it was a long time ago,” Brody snapped. “How was it?” Bo asked. Emma looked at Bo, “My sister lived in hell, and she’s dead now. There’s no reason…” “I’m sorry,” Bo said, “Its time for me to head out. Thank you again for the meal. One more thing Brody, did you happen to come across any paperwork of your father’s that you thought may belong to me?” “No why? What are you looking for?” Brody asked. “My original birth certificate, but I’m also interested in photos, family stories, family tree, anything like that?” Bo asked. “No, but if I do, I’ll let you know,” Brody said walking him to the door. Bo smiled and gave Brody a half hug before walking out the door. Brody looked at Emma, “I’m sorry.” “It’s fine. I think we pissed him off, though,” Emma laughed. “I would have to agree, Em,” Brody smiled, “How terribly inhospitable of us.” Emma laughed, kissed him quickly and turned to finish the dishes. “Would it be alright if we asked Henry and Caroline to come stay with Clive and the girls? I’d like to go with you and Maddox. He’s very resistant to it Em. I want to know why,” Brody looked at her scowling. “Of course,” Emma hugged him. *** “Em and I were chatting, and she mentioned that when London was apprehensive about going to the
doctor, she would promise to take her shopping after,” Brody smiled in the rearview mirror at Maddox. “It isn’t necessary, you’ve already given me so much,” Maddox looked down and let out a breath. “Nope, that was Christmas. Let us do this Maddox, you’re ours and we want to,” Emma turned around and smiled brightly at him. “Anything you want. Let’s have it Maddox, if you could have anything, what would it be?” Brody laughed. Maddox sat looking down, not answering. “Come on Maddox, now’s your chance. Your Dad would give you the moon right now if you asked for it,” Emma laughed. “I would settle for a dog,” Maddox said softly. “A dog?” Brody gasped. Emma squeezed his hand and tried not to smirk. “We don’t have to,” Maddox looked anxious. “No, I think we could do that. London’s mentioned it,” Brody said and closed his eyes briefly. “We should get her one too, then,” Maddox said quickly, “I would not want her to feel badly.” “Two dogs?” Brody huffed. “I think it’s a great idea.” Emma laughed, “And then when Lexington’s older, we could get her a cat.” Brody scowled at her, and she laughed harder. “I’m sorry, just forget I…” Maddox started. “No way, Maddox,” Emma laughed, “I think two dogs will be great, unless you want a cat?” “I don’t like cats. They are sneaky and don’t seem loyal,” Maddox said quietly. “I agree, hideous creatures,” Brody laughed, “What type of dog?” “Big one, well two big ones,” Maddox said looking out the window. “Small dogs are nice,” Brody offered. “No, they’re cats that bark,” Maddox said still seeming distant. “A St. Bernard?” Emma giggled. Brody scowled at her, and she laughed. “I was thinking Labradors.” Maddox finally looked at Emma and smiled slightly. “A boy and a girl and then maybe they could have puppies,” Emma grinned, “What do you think Brody?” He raised his eyebrow in warning, “Alright, we’re here.” Emma and Brody got out of the car, and Maddox sat for a moment, “As soon as we get him through this, you are in a whole lot of trouble, Mrs. Hines.” “Hmm, sounds fun,” Emma giggled. She kissed him sweetly and opened the door for Maddox. *** Maddox sat uncomfortably in the waiting room between Emma and Brody, he looked around and saw that everyone was looking at them and whispering. He looked at Brody who smiled and shook his head. “Get used to it,” he laughed and Emma laughed too. Maddox was playing with his hands looking down. Emma looked at him and couldn’t stand to see him in quiet agony any longer. She stood and walked to the desk. “Do you know how much longer it’s going be?’ “Not long,” the nurse smiled up at her. “Could you put us in a room? He’s struggling and the looks out here aren’t helping,” Emma said trying to not appear angry. They were led into a room, and the nurse gave him a gown and told him to change. “Here?” he gasped.
“I’ll wait outside,” Emma patted his back and left the room. “Are you going out too?” Maddox huffed. “I didn’t want to leave you, Maddox. I can turn around if you need me to,” Brody stood up. “No, that’s fine,” he snapped, “You’re going to see it anyway!” Maddox took off his shirt and turned, revealing two scars on his back, and then took of his pants. One large mark ran across his upper thighs. Maddox turned around, and Brody gasped when he saw the scars on his upper thighs. “Maddox, my God,” Brody whispered. “I’m better now, I won’t do it again,” Maddox whispered and put on the gown. “Maddox, you didn’t do this,” Brody’s hands began to shake. There was a knock on the door and the doctor and Emma walked in. “If you don’t want me to stay, Maddox, I don’t have to. You just tell me what you need right now,” Emma smiled softly. He shook his head no and swallowed hard. “Maddox I’m Dr. Green, but you can call me Karen,” she smiled and sat, “We’re going to do an exam, and then take some blood. We’re going to put you through the wringer today, but it’s necessary.” Maddox stood up, “Get this part over first please. Emma, please turn away.” Maddox pulled down his boxers and bent over the exam table, and Brody’s jaw dropped. “Maddox, we’re not going to do anything like that, alright?” Dr. Green spoke softly. Maddox quickly stood up and pulled his boxers up. He looked embarrassed and confused. “Have a seat, Maddox,” Dr. Green cleared her throat and turned away reaching for something. But Brody knew she was trying to check the emotions he had seen cross her face a moment ago. Emma turned around, and Brody looked at her. He was taking deep breaths to calm himself. “Maddox, why don’t we start with some questions first, okay?” Dr. Green smiled, “Let’s just dive into the scarring on your back. What happened?” “I was whipped,” Maddox answered in a direct tone “I’m truly sorry, are there any other marks like that?” She was drawing on a diagram of a body. “My back, I believe two, right Dad?” Maddox looked at Brody. Brody stood and walked next to him. His son was asking for his help, needing him to validate who he was and show him he would stand by him. “Yes two, maybe three. Perhaps you can take a quick look?” Brody pointed to the other side of the exam table and Dr. Green walked over. “You don’t need to get up Maddox, you’re fine right here.” Maddox grabbed Brody’s hand and held it tightly as the doctor opened the gown in the back and looked at the scars. “Okay, thank you for showing me Maddox,” she sat next to him in her chair, “Are there any more?” Maddox looked at Brody and Brody smiled softly, “These.” Maddox pulled up his robe and revealed the scars on his upper thighs. The doctor swallowed hard and began to document the scaring. “These are from a knife, correct?’ she asked without looking up. “Yes,” he said softly. “Do you know who did this to you Maddox?” Dr. Green asked. Maddox looked at Emma, her eyes were wide, and she was fighting tears. He looked to Brody who said, “Go on Maddox.” “I did,” he whispered. Brody gasped loudly. Maddox looked up at him, “Dad, please don’t be angry at me. I won’t ever do it again. I’m so sorry.”
“Maddox, I don’t think he is angry at you,” Dr. Green said softly. “He isn’t, of course he isn’t,” Emma walked over and hugged Maddox tightly, and he began to cry. Emma shot Brody a look, and he shook his head. “Of course I’m not mad at you Maddox. I just don’t understand. I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation and if you can’t talk to me about it…” Maddox pulled away from Emma, “I’m not crazy!” “Son, I didn’t say that you were,” Brody touched his shoulder. “I won’t see a head doctor, I won’t! I want to leave now — please,” he stood up. “Maddox, please have a seat,” Dr. Green said. “Brody, Emma, that’s called cutting. Maddox, talk to us, please. Everyone here wants you to be alright and in order for us to understand, we need to know, so please just talk to us.” Maddox looked at Dr. Green, who also had tears in her eyes, and he was confused. “Are you going to do a rectal exam?” He snapped. “Maddox, no, I’m not. If something is wrong in that area of your body, you can tell me and then we may have to, but it’s not normal procedure,” Dr. Green wiped the fallen tears, “I’m so sorry...this is extremely unprofessional.” Emma looked at Brody and mouthed, ‘breathe’. “I’m not going to breathe, Emma, I’m going to fucking explode!” “Brody…” Emma began. “Damn it, Emma,” Brody grabbed his hair, “Maddox we need to know everything alright? We love you and just want to help you, so tells us who the fuck…” “Enough, Brody!” Emma snapped and hugged Maddox who began to shake, “Definitely two dogs, and if your father doesn’t pull it together, two cats as well.” Maddox clung tightly to her, and she held him until he was ready to talk. “Before we go on Maddox, I love you. I’m just extremely furious that this has happened to you…” Brody took a deep breath. “It happened to you, too,” he whispered. Brody looked at him and pulled him into a hug, “That’s why this is killing me. I get it Maddox. The pain, the embarrassment and the desire to keep it all to yourself. Maddox, until the darkness is finally exposed, it’ll tear you up. We’re your light Maddox, don’t you dare hide from us. We will never hide from you.” Brody wiped Maddox’s tears away, and Maddox did the same to Brody, “Okay Dad.” “Okay?” Brody asked and kissed the top of his head. “Okay,” he whispered. Emma and Dr. Green both used tissues to wipe their faces while they waited until Maddox was ready to talk. “When I was whipped for trying to stop the beatings the other children received, it felt good. That physical pain replaced the pain in my chest, my heart, I suppose. The last time I stepped in they didn’t beat me. It was after Elizabeth, my biological mother, threatened to kill them if they hit me again. Instead, they locked me in a closet for a few days. It happened again, and the next time I was in the closet it was for a week, I believe. I didn’t like it; the smell, the pain from crouching, the darkness, I didn’t like it,” Maddox shook slightly and took a deep breath. “Need a break?” Brody whispered. “No. When it happened again, I was smart enough to stash empty bottle in the closet, the house was filthy anyway, so I knew they wouldn’t check. That’s when I learned to urinate in bottles. I didn’t drink all that much, so the output wasn’t a large amount. At least that smell was dealt with. I was in the small closet for over a week that time. That last time, they beat a young girl. She was about London’s age, and she and
I were close. I read to her at night,” Maddox sat for a few minutes, “I wonder if she’s alright, I wonder if they’re all alright. I wonder where they are. Now that I have you, I wonder who’s living through hell because they don’t know where their children are. It happened again another night. Noises started; the crying, the painful pillow muffled cries, the pleading. It was her again, and I was so fucking pissed. I wanted to kill him. I smashed a jar, and it cut my hand. It dulled the pain in my chest and gave me a moment to realize that if I was locked in that closet, I wouldn’t be able to comfort her when he was done. I cut my legs to hell that night and many nights after that.” Everyone was quiet, and he looked up, “I should’ve stopped him from hurting her, I should have killed them.” “Maddox, you did what you could,” Emma hugged him. He sat up, “After that night I told him that if he touched her again, I would kill him. He laughed at me. That evening, the doctor came over and did an exam. He usually paid cash or let the nasty pig into a room with one of the girls. I’m not sure if he was an actual doctor, but he did stitches and…exams. Dr. Pig would tell him if someone was untouched. Although I was treated better than everyone else in the house, I wasn’t spared the…exam. Dr. Pig told him that when I misbehaved, he should do this type of exam. I suppose that’s another reason I started cutting myself. “ No one said a word and Maddox looked up, “I’m done.” “Maddox, thank you for sharing with us. Have you ever had shots?” Dr. Green asked. “No,” Maddox said looking up at her. “Will you hate me if I make you get, like, ten?” She smiled. “Maybe,” Maddox smiled softly back. “Okay, we can spread it out. How about five today?” She smiled at him. “That’s fine,” he blushed and looked down. “Maddox, whatever you say in here is between you and I, okay? And I want you to know, I’m very proud of you, you have a heart of gold young man,” Dr. Green smiled, and he blushed. “Now remember that you like me after I make the nurse poke you five times.” *** “Let's go get those dogs,” Brody said as he pushed the unlock button on the car’s remote. “Two or three,” Emma laughed. They looked back at Maddox, who had stopped and was watching a car slowly drive by. “Hey bud, we are talking dog here,” Brody laughed and took his shoulder. Brody hit the remote start as they neared the car, and it exploded. Brody dove on top of Maddox and Emma, knocking them to the ground and covering them with his body as burning metal fell all around them. “Are you both alright?” Brody asked as he examined Maddox and Emma. “I’m fine, my God, Maddox are you…Brody are you…the girls Brody,” Emma screamed. Brody called Clive as Emma held Maddox and called 911. People began running out of the surrounding buildings, “You got him, Em?” Brody said before he ran towards the woman who had walked out of the office behind them. “Are you alright?” he asked, helping her up. “You’re Brody Hines,” she said. “And you are bleeding, come over here,” Brody sat her next to Emma. He yanked his shirt off and ripped a piece from it, using the strip to cover the gash on the side of the stranger’s head. “Those marks,” she pointed to the scar across his chest. “Oh, yes, pretty nasty but sit still, alright?” Brody was distracted as looked around at the fallen metal scraps and the people. He took a breath and looked at Maddox.
“Maddox, are you doing alright son?” “Yes Dad,” Maddox said and looked around confused. The police had pulled in. Banks walked up to them, “Of course you’re involved.” “Banks, go fuck yourself,” Brody sneered, “Where are the ambulances? This woman needs medical attention.” “On their way. Is this your car?” Banks asked. “Yes, you fuck, I told you…” Brody snapped. “Brody, please,” Emma whimpered. “Not now Em. Where are the fucking ambulances, Banks?” Brody yelled. “Brody, I need…” Emma said softly. “Em, not…” Brody looked at Emma and her eyes began to roll backwards, “Emma! “Brody, I’m very tired,” Emma said as he pulled her up. “Dad, Dad, she is...Dad!” Maddox screamed. Brody looked at her back, and there was a piece of metal sticking out of her back. “Oh Em, Love, please,” he held her tightly, “The fucking ambulance Banks, you fucking ass!” *** Emma awoke in the hospital hours later. Brody was in the doorway talking to the police. She looked beside her, Maddox’s head was resting on her bed and he was holding her hand. “Hey Maddox,” Emma smiled. “You’re alive!! You’re okay, Dad!” Maddox cried. “Em, God you’re alright!” Brody kissed her. “How’s the woman who was hurt?” Emma asked. “She’s fine Em, how are you feeling?” Brody kissed her head and closed his eyes. “I’m kind of sore,” she smiled, “But ready to go home, I want to be home. How are the girls?” “They’re safe Em. You lost a lot of blood. Let me get the doctor,” Brody kissed her again and pushed the button and walked to the door waiting impatiently. Emma smiled at Brody’s retreating figure, then turned and looked to Maddox, “Sorry we didn’t get the dogs.” Maddox smiled, “I don’t want you to think about the dogs, I just want you to be okay.” “I will be as soon as we get out of here,” Emma giggled. Brody walked in with the doctor, and Emma was checked over, “You don’t get to do much if we let you out of here, Mrs. Hines.” Emma agreed and was released within the hour. They walked into the house, and Caroline met them at the door and began to cry, “You okay?” “I am Mom, thanks. How are the girls?” Emma hugged her back, “I’m really tired — I think I’ll go up and snuggle with one of them.” “Brody didn’t tell you?” Caroline asked. “Tell me what?” Emma asked. “The five of you are going away for a while,” Caroline said. “Clive thanks for packing for us. Em, family vacation sound fun?” Brody kissed her head before he ran up the stairs. *** They pulled into the airport where Collin and Tessa’s security man Tomas greeted them. Emma looked up at Brody and smiled.
“Take a flight with me?” Brody whispered. “Anywhere you want to go,” Emma kissed him. Maddox carried Lexington and Brody carried London to the plane as Clive loaded the bags. Brody talked with Tomas and shook his hand, “Thank you.” He walked onto the plane as Emma was kissing the kids and making sure their seat belts were buckled. She looked at Brody and smiled. He hugged her, “You okay Em?” “Tired,” she smiled and kissed him. “Sit Em, I’ll be back after I say goodnight to the troops,” Brody winked, and Emma watched as he kissed Lexi and London. “Maddox, you did amazing today,” Brody hugged his son. “You too,” Maddox yawned. Brody smiled, “Get some sleep. We’re going to have fun for a few days, alright?” “Sounds good. Is Emma alright?” Maddox asked and yawned again. “Yep, she is a trooper as well,” Brody smiled and put a blanket over him, “Sleep.” Brody sat beside Emma, buckled his safety belt and looked at her with pain in his eyes, “Em.” “I’m alright,” Emma rubbed his face gently. “If…” “It didn’t, go to sleep. When we’re in the air, I’ll need to lay across your lap because this kind of hurts,” Emma smiled. Brody shook his head, “What a fucked up day.” “It really was awful, huh?” Emma laughed. Brody smiled, “Yes, and you’re all smiles.” “I’m looking at you, those three are alright, and we’re going away from all of it. Life is good,” Emma kissed him, “Stop looking at me like that.” “You could have died, Em,” Brody squeezed his eyes tight. “Brody, any one of us could have, but we didn’t, let’s sleep please,” Emma leaned her head on his shoulder as the plane began lifting off the ground.
CHAPTER FIVE They stepped out of the car, and Tessa ran up to them and hugged London, “Harper’s waiting for you. She’s going to have you sleep in her room tonight okay?” London yawned, “Thanks, I’m tired.” “Its beautiful here Tessa, South America, huh?” Emma smiled. Tessa and Emma got all the kids settled in and walked out into the small room outside of the bedrooms. “What is this place?” Emma smiled. “A work in progress,” Tessa smiled, “We’re just starting up here. Someday it’ll be a training center.” “The basic security is complete, so it's safe,” Collin smiled at Maddox, “You alright?” He nodded his head and yawned, “Thank you.” Brody looked at Collin and Tessa then closed his eyes, “Clive’s home working on a plan, we should only need a couple of days.” “Take as much time as you need,” Tessa smiled. “I won’t have your family in danger as well,” Brody’s voice was pained. “Hines, we’re fine. No one knows you’re here. Enjoy it for a few days,” Collin patted his shoulder. Emma looked at Tessa apologetically and then down. Brody saw the exchange and sat back. “Is there a place for me to sleep?” Maddox asked softly. Emma took him to his room and hugged him tightly, “I’m so glad you’re alright. Go to sleep. We’re safe, and we will figure it all out tomorrow. How’s your arm?” Emma asked referring to the shots he had received. “Sore,” he smiled. “Okay, I’m going to get you some Tylenol,” Emma kissed his head and walked out. *** Emma sat and looked at Brody, “We should get some sleep, lots to figure out tomorrow.” He stood up and followed her into their room. “Let’s chat, Em,” Brody said pacing the floor. “Okay,” she sat and watched him collect his thoughts. He was struggling, and it hurt her to see him that way. “Third drawer,” Brody pulled out the envelope from the third drawer and dropped it on the bed in front of her. Emma smiled, “I knew you were a prince.” Brody looked at her and rolled his eyes, “Prince of doom.” “Prince Charming,” Emma giggled. “I’m not a prince, Em,” he sat next to her. “Okay, but you are of royal blood,” Emma spoke in a British accent that made him smile. “I’m sure if we all dig deeper into our families’ blood lines we all would be,” Brody shrugged. “Okay fine, I’m just trying to make you smile,” she said and spread the papers out in front of them. There were Hines family birth certificates, marriage licenses, certificates of death, maps of property, a family tree, and several other important looking original documents. Brody looked at it, “These have nothing to do with what we are going through now. Frankly I don’t care about these papers or what they represent. I just wanted you to know.”
Brody started to pick up the files, and Emma smiled at him, “You know, it’s extremely cool Brody.” “My father turned his back on it; my mother wanted nothing to do with it. I never knew nor do I care now. But Bo seems to want it, and I won’t let him have it, the ass,” Brody smiled. “It would be awesome to give it to Maddox someday,” Emma smiled. “Alright Em, it’s kind of cool, but I fear it would make London feel, I don’t know,” Brody looked at Emma. Emma smiled, “I love how thoughtful you are. I love that you love her.” “You love Maddox, Em. It’s the same thing,” Brody returned the folder to his bag. “I may not be his mother but he has my blood too,” Emma said softly. “So you would love him less if not for that, Em?” he scowled and shook his head, “We both know better, let’s sleep. I love you,” Brody kissed her. *** Harper was getting a drink when she heard Tessa and Collin talking quietly about Maddox Hines and all that he had been through. She stood outside their door, listening quietly. She heard a noise and jumped. A hand covered her mouth and pulled her outside, into the cool night air. Harper stomped down on her captor’s foot. He released her, she started to run. “Damn it, stop!” he hissed. “I’ll kick your ass,” Harper yelled. “You’ll wake our parents,” Maddox walked slowly towards her, out of the shadows and into the moonlight. “What the hell was that all about?” Harper asked angrily and stomped her foot. “Did you want them to discover you lurking outside of their room?” Maddox asked bluntly, “Listening in on a private conversation not intended for you?” “What business is it of yours?” Harper crossed her arms and turned away. “Oh I think you know what business it is of mine I hope you got all the gory details you wanted,” Maddox snapped. “I wasn’t…” Harper started. “It was none of your bloody business!” Maddox yelled and walked towards the darkness. “Maddox…please Maddox,” Harper ran and grabbed his arm, and he pulled it away. “Leave — go inside. You and I can act like none of this happened for them, but I don’t need, or want you and your false sympathy. Leave it alone!” Maddox felt his body begin to shake. “Maddox, I’m so sorry you have been…” Harper began. “Nothing you need to concern yourself with. It’s an ugly world there, little Princess with the private plane and houses scattered across the world. Walk away,” Maddox insisted. “Excuse me!” Harper snapped, “You don’t know me! Princess huh? How about you, rock star’s son? Really screw you!” Harper stomped off towards the house. Maddox took a few minutes to calm himself. He walked in and locked the door behind himself, then walked towards the bathroom. Harper walked out wiping her face and looked up at him. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Maddox said sadly. “Save it, you ass!” Harper brushed past him and went into her room. Maddox laid in bed thinking of how badly he’d screwed up. *** “Good morning Maddox,” Brody hugged him “Did you sleep well?” Maddox looked around the room and saw Harper scowl at him, “No.”
London jumped up off Harper’s lap, and hugged him, “We’re going to have fun today, and Harper’s going to collect shells with me. You should come.” “No, thank you,” Maddox smiled at London, “How did you sleep?” “Good, I want you to come, please,” London pleaded. “I’ll help you find all the ones you missed with her when you two are finished,” Maddox hugged her. *** Tessa looked at Harper and saw her glare at Maddox, “Harper would love for you to join them Maddox, wouldn’t you Harper?” “Oh yes, it would bring me such joy,” Harper flashed an obnoxious smile at Maddox. He looked at her and rolled his eyes. “Maddox what’s wrong?” Emma asked. “Nothing, the world’s perfect. Private planes, beach estates, wonderful new friends like Harper,” he flashed a smile mimicking Harpers back at her. “Hey, it is perfect, we’re cousins,” London laughed. “No, we’re NOT,” Maddox and Harper snapped at the same time. London looked hurt, “But you're my…Okay I guess not.” London walked outside, and Maddox followed her, “London, come here.” She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, “I thought…I’m sorry. Are you angry at me?” “No, never London! Come here,” he picked her up and hugged her. “He’s just jealous, London,” Harpers voice came from behind him, “He’s jealous that I’ve known you longer. Come on beautiful girl.” “Will you come too?” London asked Maddox. “I’m going to eat and then I’ll join you,” Maddox kissed her head and put her down. “Maddox, is everything alright?” Emma asked when Maddox came back inside. “Yes, I apologize,” Maddox sat and ate. *** After breakfast everyone sat around the outdoor table talking. “Hey Maddox, would you like to take Lexington for a walk?” Brody asked. “Sure Dad,” Maddox smiled at him. The adults watched as Maddox held both of Lexington’s hands as she walked down into the sand. Lexington began to cry, and he picked her up and kissed her gently and calmed her down. “Don’t like the sand?” Maddox chuckled, and she laughed at him. “I’ll tell you a secret Lexi, I’ve never touched it before now, so we’ll just take our time and get used to it, alright?” Maddox sat with her on his lap. He scooped up the sand in his hand and held it for her to play with. “See it’s not so dreadful,” Maddox smiled. *** “What’s up with Maddox and Harper?” Tessa looked at Emma and Brody. “I don’t know, but I apologize for his behavior,” Brody said sincerely. “It wasn’t just him,” Collin laughed. “I think they’ll be fine, just let them work it out. We’re a family, they need to deal with it,” Tessa laughed. “Alright, let's get down to business,” Collin directed the group’s attention back to the task at hand,
“Where are we with the charges against you for your staff’s death? Have they dropped the charges?” “The police seem to be easing off a bit. Then we had the attempted break in and then the explosion. I’m hoping they’re looking into other suspects,” Brody looked at Emma and closed his eyes briefly. Emma smiled softly at him, “We’ll get through it.” “I know Em,” Brody took her hand and kissed it softly, “I know.” “We have people trying to figure out where James is. He’s the man that helped you find Elizabeth. He’s extremely sly, but within a few more days we should have it figured out,” Collin said reassuringly, “We need to make sure your home is still secure, it seems to be the only place you're truly safe.” “I agree,” Brody looked up at him and his eyes narrowed. “Elizabeth’s services have been put on hold?” Collin asked. “How did you know that?” Emma asked. “Oh, he knows everything,” Tessa giggled. “Your ex-wife, are her whereabouts being tracked still?” Collin asked Brody. Brody looked uncomfortably at Emma, “Yes.” “Emma, didn’t know we were considering her?” Collin asked. “We haven’t had a lot of time…” Brody answered. “Make time,” Collin looked at Brody for a moment longer than normal, “Emma she may be involved with this, she and Elizabeth were both connected to Troy through conversations. Are the police aware of that?” Collin said, referring to Emma’s ex-husband who was killed in a car accident. “No, I don’t trust the police,” Brody sneered. “It doesn’t matter, documentation of any tips you give them will be useful at trial,” Collin looked up again. “Brody don’t trust anyone but do share information. Who the hell knows — they may end up being helpful.” “Alright,” Brody conceded. *** “Maddox!” London yelled as she pounced in the sand next to him. “London!” Maddox yelled back. He grabbed her with one arm, pulling her onto his other knee, “Our sister’s not all that fond of sand, she literally freaked out,” he gasped dramatically and tickled London until she laughed so hard she had tears running down her face. Maddox heard someone laugh behind him and turned quickly and saw Harper standing there with a bucket in her hand. “Do you want to show your brother the shells?” Harper asked sitting on her knees next to him. “Sure — check it out we have tons,” London smiled proudly. “Amazing London, they’re beautiful,” he glanced up at Harper for a moment too long, and he felt his face flush. “They are. Maddox, what’s your favorite color?” Harper glanced down at him briefly. “Blue,” he said softly, “I had never thought about it before but I love the color of the ocean. It’s beautiful, and calming as if its depth could swallow up the world and leave nothing ugly behind and still bring peace to all that stand in its glory.” “Like my eyes?” London beamed. Maddox looked up at Harper and back down at London, “Exactly like your eyes, London.” “I have the same color eyes as Harper’s,” London smiled. “I hadn’t noticed,” Maddox said softly. “Well look at them and tell me if you agree,” London insisted. Maddox swallowed and looked at Harper. She was flushed and her eyes widened, “Yes London, they’re almost exactly like Harper’s.”
London giggled and stood up, “Let me see if Lexi will let me walk her.” London and Lexi walked back and forth in front of Harper and Maddox they sat quietly for a few moments. “Hey Maddox,” Harper whispered. “Yes?” he said looking down. “I’m sorry I heard all of that last night. I shouldn’t have listened. I’ll never tell anyone. I’m not a princess…” Harper stopped and took a breath. “No one should know that such ugliness happens in this world,” he whispered. “I’d have to disagree,” Harper said softly. “I’m sure you would…” Maddox started to stand and she grabbed his hand. “Wait! Maddox without sorrow, there wouldn’t be people who, like me, that you think are so privileged, who understand,” Harper rolled her eyes, and Maddox began to pull his hand away, “Please give me two minutes Maddox. I don’t want you to dislike me.” “You seem to be trying to make it so,” he snapped. He looked down at her hand still holding his. “No, sometimes I just don’t come across right, please Maddox. I want you to like me,” Harper said looking down. He sat next to her, and she let out a deep breath. “I may not have lived through what you have, but I see suffering all the time. We travel the world, not to vacation, or sit at a resort getting massages. We help people build villages. This place will be one soon. We teach them how to help themselves and make sure when they need us, we’re available. I don’t want to hurt you, I want to help you Maddox.” “I’m not your project Harper,” Maddox looked up at her sadly. “I don’t see you as a project Maddox,” Harper whispered. “How do you see me then, after all that you know how could you possible see me otherwise?” Maddox pulled his hand away. “My dad was abused Maddox. As a child my Dad was severely abused. I won’t go into detail, but he made a choice to do better for himself and anyone else he could help,” Harper looked down at the hand that was once in his and rubbed it gently. “I’m truly sorry that he was hurt,” Maddox looked at her. “He’s an amazing man because of it,” Harper smiled. “He made a choice to never do what had been done to him to anyone. You can make that choice, too.” Maddox looked at her in shock, “Is that what this is about? Do you fear for yourself or for your cousins?” “No — I see it in your eyes that you would never. Maddox, you’re kind. I know you are, and you have a beautiful soul,” Harper looked away quickly, “Sorry.” Maddox didn’t respond. He just looked at the water and thought for a while. “Harper, you have nothing to worry about with those two girls. I would die for them, do you understand?” “I know that already,” Harpers eyes filled with tears, “I knew that the first time I saw you on the island.” Maddox looked at her and closed his eyes, “Please don’t cry Harper, please.” Harper looked at him, and her lip quivered, “I’m sorry.” “Harper,” Maddox grabbed her and hugged her. After a few minutes, he looked down at her, “Are you alright now?” “Yes, can we please not argue anymore? I need us to be friends.” Harper sat back and wiped her eyes. “We can be friends,” he smiled, “Just not cousins.” “I’ll take friends,” she smiled.
They spent the day playing on the beach and laughing. “Why don’t you guys go for a swim?” Emma suggested after she laid Lexington down for a nap. “I don’t have swim attire,” Maddox said and looked away. “My brothers swim attire should be around here somewhere,” Harper mimicked his heavy British accent, “Come on — it’ll be fun.” “Yeah, it will be fun,” London laughed. Brody looked at Emma, and whispered, “He doesn’t know how, Em.” “Oh, damn it,” Emma whispered. “You girls go get changed,” Brody kissed Emma’s head. Maddox watched as they walked away, “Come with me, Maddox,” Brody said. They walked into his room and grabbed the swim trunks Harper had left. “I don’t like water,” Maddox said looking away. “I know you don’t know how to swim Maddox. How could you have learned? But I’m going to go out with you…” Brody began. “Not in front of her,” Maddox gasped. Brody looked at him, “The scars I carry are no different son.” “That’s not it, well that wasn’t what I was thinking at first…But now I truly don’t want to,” Maddox flopped on his bed. “I’ll go ahead of you. We won’t go over your head. If you feel uncomfortable let me know. Just give it a try that’s all I ask,” Brody changed and turned around, “Seriously Maddox this damn thing is like a SPEEDO on me. I’ll look foolish, not you.” Maddox sat up and looked at Brody and giggled. “See? With me out there no one will notice. I look like a freak,” Brody laughed. “You’re right you do,” Maddox laughed. “Thanks for the encouragement. Go get changed,” Brody threw a suit at him. *** Maddox and Brody walked outside. Brody strutted out, puffing his chest out, “You must do the beach walk, boy.” Maddox laughed, “No. But do continue you look wonderful.” “You picking on me?” Brody laughed. “You're making it quite easy,” Maddox laughed and looked up. “Hey Maddox,” London yelled, “Do you like my suit?” London strutted like Brody and spun in circles. “Absolutely stunning, Miss London,” Maddox smiled. “How about mine?” Harper copied London and laughed. Maddox jaw dropped, and he looked down, “Looks lovely, Harper.” Brody looked at him and started to chuckle, Maddox gave him a dirty look. “Let's get in that water Maddox,” Brody whispered and laughed. Maddox looked anxiously at him as they began walking into the water, “You doing alright?” “No, but I’ll get through it,” Maddox said his jaw tightened. “I have an idea — why don’t you think whatever thought you had on the beach. You seemed to have lost your edge there,” Brody laughed and walked further out. Maddox tried to hide his smile. “She’s a beautiful girl,” Brody egged him on. “She is not,” Maddox blushed. “Oh you’re right – she’s dreadful. Hideous even,” Brody splashed him and laughed.
Maddox splashed him and fell under the water and popped right back up and coughed. “You okay?” Brody panicked. Maddox laughed, “Yes, but sea water’s awful!” “Got to close your mouth before you go under water and don’t breathe through your nose,” Brody patted his back. London dove on Brody’s back and Harper dove on Maddox, “Gotcha!” Brody watched Maddox tense up and go under water. “London, down.” He moved to where they had gone under and stepped into a very deep spot, “Em! GRAB LONDON!” Brody dove under and swam trying to find them and couldn’t. He surfaced and looked around and saw Maddox pop out of the water a few feet in the other direction with Harper still on his back she started to laugh. Maddox let out a deep breath and smiled and laughed with her. “Holy shit!” He shouted. “Maddox, that’s an adult word,” London scolded. “Sorry London,” Maddox laughed and looked over his shoulder at Harper who lifted her arms high in the air and fell back into the water. Maddox turned to watched her and laughed when she popped up, “You’re crazy!” “That was cool,” She stood up and smiled brightly at him. “You have no idea,” he laughed. “Maddox are you alright?” Brody asked. “I am, I think Harper here just taught me how to swim,” he laughed. “You didn’t know how? Oh I’m so sorry,” Harper covered mouth trying not to laugh. “No, it was seriously cool,” Maddox tried to stop smiling. “Want to go out further?” Brody asked. “Hell yeah!” Maddox laughed. “Maddox, your mouth,” London warned. Maddox chuckled, “Sorry London.” “No, you need to learn first!” Harper snapped. “Oh really?” Maddox shook his hair spraying Harper with seawater. “Blow bubbles, float, and tread water,” Harper explained. “You want to teach me, friend?” Maddox cocked his head to the side and winked. Harpers jaw dropped, and she scowled, “Someone needs to, let’s get this done...buddy.” Brody looked at Emma, and looked shocked. “Leave them alone,” Brody whispered. “She doesn’t even have a chance. He looks, acts, and even flirts just like you,” Emma said sadly. Brody cocked his head to the side and winked, “Like that Em?” “Poor girl,” Emma whispered and laughed, “But he has no idea who he’s messing with Brody, that’s Tessa’s daughter. I’m sure…more than sure, she can hold her own.” “Then let them be Em,” he kissed her cheek, “Besides, London’s chaperoning.” Brody rubbed her back lightly, “I’ve never had you in the water.” “For God’s sake Brody,” Emma blushed. “Just making an observation,” Brody smiled, “And a demand, when they go to sleep tonight, you and me out here, got it?” “We’ll see,” Emma blushed. “You look hot as hell in that suit Em,” Brody kissed her neck. “Goodbye, I’m getting out of here right now,” Emma gasped. “Run, run, as fast as you can...Em,” Brody laughed tauntingly
*** Collin and Brody grilled fish and watched as Harper bossed Maddox around. “Tessa, she’s being very unlike herself,” Collin scowled. “She likes him,” Tessa laughed. Collin looked at her and then finally understood what she was implying. “They are cousins,” he gasped. “No, NOT technically,” Tessa giggled. “Well she’s too young to like boys,” Collin snapped. “Same age as I was,” Tessa laughed out loud. “It’s actually not all that funny. Think of poor Maddox,” Collin tried taking the other side. “He started it,” Emma said softly. “He what?” Collin asked. “He cocked his head to the side and winked, he flirted with her,” Emma said looking down. “Em, you're going to get us thrown out of here on our asses,” Brody chuckled, “London’s out there – they’re fine. I mean as long as it is alright with you Collin.” “Its fine,” Tessa laughed while Collin grumbled. *** They all sat at outside and ate dinner. London was falling asleep and Brody laughed. “Look at her, tired baby girl,” he whispered to Emma. “Sun and water,” Emma smiled. “Water and moonlight,” Brody winked. Emma smiled and looked down, “I’m going to tuck London in.” “I got it Love,” Brody picked up London. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled sweetly. “She’s tired,” Maddox smiled as he watched Brody carry her into the room. “You should be as well,” Tessa laughed. “I should be, demanding teacher, high expectations, and…” Maddox smirked. “You can swim now can't you?” Harper snapped and stood up, “I’m going to bed.” Maddox stood up, “Harper I was just poking fun, I truly appreciate your help.” “Fine, you’re welcome, goodnight,” Harper stormed into the bathroom. Maddox looked shocked. “Maddox, I don’t know what’s gotten into her, but she doesn’t act like that. It’ll be dealt with,” Collin stood up and started walking towards the bathroom door. Maddox ran in front of him and stood guarding the door. “She didn’t do anything wrong!” Maddox growled. Collin stepped back and spoke softly, “Maddox, she was rude. I’m going to talk to her.” “Maddox!” Emma snapped and walked up to him and grabbed his arm. He pulled his arm away and glared at Collin. “You and I are going to have a long talk tonight Maddox. But right now, my little girl was rude and she needs to know that,” Collin looked him in the eye. Harper opened the door, “Excuse me.” Maddox didn’t move, “Hello, I would like to get out of here.” “Harper you're going to stop being rude and apologize to Maddox,” Collin looked past Maddox and at his daughter. “Fine,” she stomped, “Sorry Maddox. Now move…please.” Brody walked out of the bedroom and saw the stand- off. Brody walked towards Maddox quickly and grabbed his arm, “Maddox, let's take a walk.”
“Get your fucking hands off me,” Maddox snarled. “I assume he thinks I’m going to hurt my child,” Collin told Brody. “Harper, if you feel threatened for even a minute just say the word and he will be out of your way.” “No, Daddy, Maddox, come on,” Harper snuck under his arm and took his hand, “Walk with me?” Maddox looked at her and scowled. “He and I are going to take a walk Harper. Then he’s going to talk to your father,” Brody looked at Maddox and grabbed his arm, “Let’s go, Emma you too.” They sat at the outdoor table, and Maddox looked down, “What was that in there?” He didn’t answer, “Maddox, your father asked you a question.” “He was going to hurt her,” Maddox yelled. “He was going to scold her for being rude Maddox. One of his jobs is to teach her how to treat others.” Emma took Maddox’s face in her hand and turned his chin towards her. “That’s one of our jobs as well.” “So now you're going to discipline me?” Maddox asked without expression. “Yes, we kind of have to,” Emma replied. “Fine,” Maddox said. “There is, however a learning curve,” Emma said and looked at Brody. “I agree, so your punishment is to talk to Collin and do the dinner dishes,” Brody sat back and looked proudly at Emma. Emma closed her eyes and tried not to laugh. Maddox looked up, “That’s it?” “This time,” Emma smiled softly. “I know you thought he was going to hurt her Maddox, but you truly have to understand that the whole world isn’t like what you have experienced,” Brody said sadly, “There are a lot of assholes out there, but you can't put yourself in situations like that. If it hadn’t been Collin, but another man, it may have been a very serious situation, son.” “I’ll take that into consideration,” Maddox said softly. Brody and Emma looked at one another, “If I grab your arm don’t you yank away from me Maddox. I’ll never hurt you.” “I apologize to both of you for that,” Maddox looked up briefly looking at Emma. “You did that to Emma?” Brody gasped. “Brody, it’s okay,” Emma put her hand on his leg. “That is unacceptable Maddox, completely and totally unacceptable,” Brody stood up and ran his hands through his hair and looked at the sky. Maddox looked anxious, “And this is where you get your desire to protect the people you love,” Emma smiled at Maddox. “Don’t excuse this Emma — if he doesn’t learn now he’s fucked!” Brody snapped. “This is also where you get your foul language,” Emma whispered to Maddox and smiled, “Which we have to tell you isn’t okay, and will cause lots of problems in a social setting such as a church and school. ‘Fuck’ is a naughty word,” Emma winked. Brody looked at her with his blank stare. “And that…” Emma smiled. “Enough Emma,” Brody pulled her up into her and hugged her tightly, “You’re okay?” “Yes I am. And Maddox will be too,” Emma kissed him, “I’m going inside, I love you both.” Brody sat and looked at Maddox, “And that’s the only thing that calms me when I’m ready to blow.” “So you wanted to hurt me for pulling away from her?” Maddox asked confused.
“No, I wanted to make it better for both of you but still give you sufficient discipline. This parenting stuff is truly difficult. The loving you part? That’s very easy. Figure out what made you react like that tonight Maddox. Think long and hard and then we’ll talk. I’m going to send Collin out, he’s a damn good man Maddox. He’s helped us more than you know without even asking anything in return,” Brody kissed his head and walked in the house. *** Maddox stood as soon as he saw Collin walking out the door. “I’m extremely sorry I don’t...what happened...I should….” “Have a seat Maddox.” Collin stood before him, he was tall and well built, very strong and intimidating, and Maddox sat. “Your dad’s getting us a couple drinks, will be out in just a minute,” Collin sat down across from Maddox and smiled gently. “I didn’t want…” “I know you thought I was going to hurt her. You need to learn to read people better,” Collin looked up as Brody walked out, “He thought you would feel more comfortable with him out here.” Maddox visibly relaxed more and Brody felt a sense of relief. “So Maddox, I was raised by my very own mother, who was severely abusive,” Collin sat up, “She would trade her children’s bodies for drugs and we often went hungry.” Maddox’s eyes widened, and he looked at Brody. “She went to prison for killing my sister, and I’m also certain she had my brother killed. I dealt with it very poorly at times but learned from my mistakes and through people who came into my life at the right time. I learned to read people, so I knew who to trust. I didn’t know how to love. I won’t bore you with the specifics, but there are key points that I want and need you to focus on until you start feeling comfortable in your own skin. First you're going to need to know that I loved, or still love, my mother, even though I don’t like her. She’s evil, but still my mother. A dog that’s been kicked by its master since the day it was brought home, that dog still loves its master Maddox. It knows no better, that’s what it’s lived. Second, you need to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. I dove into school and became a doctor. For me, because I lost my siblings it was important that I learned to save lives. Then I wanted to teach people how to take care of themselves. Education is particularly important, and I hear that you love to read. Keep reading. It erases the fear of the unknown and indirectly removes any prejudices you have of people. Knowledge is power. Read people, understanding their quirks and mannerisms will help ease the anxiety that I’m sure is burning deep inside you. Any questions so far?” Maddox shook his head no and swallowed hard. “At your age, it’s going to be hard, but not impossible to trust, it will be okay Maddox, trust that Emma and Brody love you. If they do something you dislike remember that they are human. For now they have the hardest job in the world, they’re parents. I see you with London and Lexington, and I know that you love them. So you’re a few steps ahead of much of the world. You have to make a decision to be a good man. Not just, to decide but plan each step,” Collin sat back and took a drink. “I had the advantage of going to school and church from an age younger than you. I’m not going to lie and tell you it’ll be easy Maddox, but I see strength in you. A man who protects a girl he hardly knows, from a man who could easily kick his ass.” Maddox looked up at him and then back down quickly. “I see that you’re also pretty sure of yourself. Maddox you’re a big boy, six foot right?” Collin asked. “And growing,” Maddox held his eyes to Collins. “Brody this boy needs strength training when he can control his temper,” Collin smiled, “Maddox ask questions — tell people what you're feeling.”
“None of you want to know what I’m thinking, and I’m not willing to share,” Maddox sat back and looked blankly at the floor. “I can assure you there won’t be any judgment here Maddox. I’ve been forgiven for all I’ve done and paid the price for all my wrong doings. I’ve amassed a great amount of material things and accomplished every one of my goals. None of that mattered until I forgave myself, and I have. More importantly I never truly lived until I accepted love from other people. Tessa changed my life. Tessa and our children; CJ, Matthew, and Harper gave me a more than I ever could imagine. Opening yourself up to love, the giving and receiving of it will change your life Maddox, more than anything.” Maddox began to tap his foot and appeared agitated. “Come on Maddox, let’s hear it,” Collin sat back. Maddox looked up at him, “You're pissing me off.” “Maddox enough!” Brody scolded. “No, you want to know what I feel! You all want to know how I feel?” Maddox stood up and glared at them, “I watched twelve children be sold to a sick mother fucker less than two weeks ago, knowing damn well what’s going to become of them. I watched a woman, who granted was no saint but she was my mother, get gunned down in front of me. I was thrown into a car and then a plane. I know how I should feel, I should feel thankful that I’m not being beaten, starved, and shoved in a goddamn closet for weeks. But I’m angry...so fucking angry. I’m brought to this hopeful life. One that I may have dreamt about if I ever actually knew it existed. Then the people I felt safe with...violated and compromised and you don’t even know I feel that way. Then to a doctor where all my nightmares are exposed in front of two people who I trust and know love me whatever the fuck that is. And I feel like I must love them but who the hell knows if it's real. I have no idea when the next car’s going to explode, or someone I care deeply for is going to be abused or killed or taken from me. I want to kick the shit out of someone!” “Okay that’s a good start,” Collin said soothingly. “That’s a good start? Screw you! Then your daughter pisses me off and then is sweet and on my back half fucking naked and I liked it,” Maddox raised his eyebrow, “She was sweet and held me throughout the day and I fucking loved it. Then she gets pissy and you threaten her safety. Then she’s pissed at me for standing up for her, and now here we are, with me trying my utmost to piss you off, both of you, because I just want to fucking get away from all this feeling shit!” “Okay Maddox, I’m sorry Collin and I’m extremely sorry, Maddox,” Brody stood shaking. “Look at your father Maddox…” Collin began. “I would rather look at your daughter,” Maddox sneered. Collin stood up and bent slightly so that he was nose to nose with Maddox, “Brody your son…” “Has had enough for the day, Collin — I apologize,” Brody interrupted taking Maddox by the arm. “No, your son’s scared, he’s lashing out at me because he knows he and I aren’t much different and he’s safe doing so. I have broad shoulders Maddox, but I will not…” Collin started. “Your daughter is beautiful. I would never treat her poorly. I just wanted to piss you off because you pissed me off!” Maddox snapped, “I would never hurt her, I wanted to protect her. I need to get the HELL out of here!” “Maddox — have you ever had a relationship with a female by choice?” Collin asked. “And he just keeps going,” Maddox pronounced to the heavens. Collin laughed and Maddox looked at him like he was crazy. Maddox let out a deep breath. “You done?” Collin laughed. Maddox shook his head, “You purposely pushed me?” “Like breaking a wild horse,” Collin grabbed his shoulders, “You’re further ahead than I was, boy.” “I’m sorry,” Maddox said and closed his eyes. “I accept your apology,” Collin hugged him. “Brody run his ass ragged and you’ll all be fine.”
*** Everyone had gone to bed, and Maddox tossed and turned, Brody wouldn’t leave his room until he thought Maddox had fallen asleep. When the house was quiet, he quietly left his room and walked outside. He stood at the gate looking at the ocean basking in its beauty. He closed his eyes and remembered going underwater and being afraid until he realized that Harper was glued to his back. He didn’t know if she could swim, but he couldn’t take the chance, he grabbed her legs firmly and kicked his feet until they surfaced. The gratification, feeling like he had saved her from death was dreamlike. When she raised her hands in the air and smiled as she trustingly fell into the oceans depth, gave him a surreal feeling. A feeling that he could take care of her and that she trusted he would was the most gratifying feeling he had ever experienced. He secretly wished she didn’t squash that feeling when she emasculated him by insisting on making him blow bubbles as she dunked his face in the water or held his back so that he would learn to float and laughed when he sank. He’d decided to indulge himself and focus only on the memory of saving her. “What do you think you're doing out here?” Harper announced from behind him. “Good evening, Harper,” Maddox laughed turning around. “Good evening?” She asked. “Well, in fact, I was enjoying the beautiful sky and all those twinkling stars until you came out here and ruined it,” Maddox laughed. “Oh really I ruined it? I thought the highlight of your day was when I held you in the water,” Harper said antagonistically. “Harper I won’t let you ruin this moment so please be quiet,” Maddox closed his eyes and stood silently. ‘Well I think…” Harper began and Maddox turned and lightly pinched her lips together. “Why does your thinking involve so much talking?” Maddox cocked his head and smiled. She stilled and he took his hand away, “See? Much better.” “You did NOT just do that!” Harper gasped. “I’ll do it again, fair warning,” Maddox smiled to himself. “You’re impossible!” Harper stomped. “But intriguing enough to follow out here in the wee early morning Harper, Harper, Harper,” Maddox shook his head. “I wanted to see that you were alright, but now I could care less. You’re a jerk,” Harper turned. “Goodnight Harper,” Maddox said sweetly. She stopped and turned around, “If you don’t come inside, I’m telling,” she snapped and Maddox started to laugh, “It’s actually not funny!” “You are a treat,” Maddox turned and looked at her smiling. “Yeah one you find beautiful and you feel the need to protect,” Harper crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “Oh really? What makes you think I think you are beautiful?” Maddox laughed. “You told my dad, and I heard to you say it. So go ahead — try to deny it Maddox,” Harper raised her eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. Maddox looked at her, “Beautiful face and appearance Harper, but the fact that you are so nosey is ugly and hurtful.” *** Harper’s face fell, no longer feeling so full of herself. She looked sadly at him, “Maddox I wasn’t trying to…”
Maddox started to walk passed her. She grabbed his hand, “Please listen. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” “Tell yourself whatever you need to Harper,” he pulled his hand away. “Eavesdropping and sneakiness are not traits that are attractive. Answer me this, why is it any of your fucking business?” Harpers lip quivered, “You tried to protect me. I was just trying to do the same.” “I might believe that Harper if for one second I believed you didn’t trust your father,” Maddox tried to walk away. “Please don’t be mad at me, please, I don’t know why I keep screwing up and being rude to you, but I don’t mean to. I really want to be your friend,” Harper stood uncomfortably looking up at him. “I don’t trust you,” Maddox said and walked past her. Harper sat on the beach and cried until she felt like she couldn’t cry anymore. She didn’t understand why she acted the way she did around him. She really did want — no needed him to be his friend. But she acted like an ass embarrassing herself and him, two things she didn’t want to do. What made it worse was she didn’t know why. She didn’t understand these feelings. She walked inside and quietly opened the door to Maddox’s room. He was lying on his back with the pillow over his head and she tapped on his shoulder. Maddox jumped up, grabbed her and flipped her onto the bed. His hand was on her throat, and he was on top of her when she began to shake. He sat up quickly and growled, “What the hell are you doing in here?” “I won't sleep until you accept my apology,” Harper scowled. “Get out,” Maddox pointed to the door. She shook her head no and crossed her arms in front of her. “Fine,” Maddox grabbed a pillow and a blanket of the bed and laid on the floor. “Please, Maddox I felt really bad, and now I feel worse and I can't let you hate me. I don’t want you to ever hate me,” Harper started crying again. Maddox sat up, “We’re like family right? It’s not likely that I’ll be able to hate you Harper, so fine. I accept your apology.” “We said we weren’t family that we’re friends right?” Harper asked sadly. “I don’t trust you, Harper,” he said looking down. Harper pulled the covers over her face and began to sob, “Shh you’re going to get us both in trouble, damn it! I’m going to get someone, who do you want me to get your Mom or…” “No, please don’t,” she sobbed. “Would you shut up?” Maddox pleaded. “When you say we can be friends…” Harper said and wiped her tears. Maddox scowled at her, “Do the tears normally work for you?” “Yes I suppose,” she scowled back at him. “Listen Harper, you’re confusing the hell out of me and pissing me off, and as you heard tonight, I’m a bit unstable...so you should leave,” Maddox stood up and pointed to the door. Harper looked at him and began to laugh. “Seriously who can I get for you? I may be unstable, but you are a textbook case of fucking crazy,” Maddox shook his head and looked at her as she laughed harder. “You read textbooks?” Harper asked seriously. Maddox stepped towards the door and turned to look at her. He let out a breath he ran his hands through his hair, puzzled. He opened his mouth to say something and stopped. He did it again, and gave up trying to think of what to say to this crazy girl. “You should sit. Let’s hash this out. You may think I’m crazy, but I’m not. What I am is being persistent as hell,” she patted the bed, “I’ll leave as soon as you trust me.”
“Honest to God Harper – I’ll be in a mental institution sooner than previously predicted if I have to deal with you much longer,” Maddox warned and sat down. Harper smiled at him, and he smiled back. “What do I have to do to prove that you can trust me?” Harper asked smiling at him. “Stop snooping,” Maddox scowled. “Then hide nothing from me, ever,” Harper looked up at him. “Why would I do that?” Maddox looked confused. “Because we have to be friends, not just friends who say hello and share pleasantries, but what’s in our hearts and heads. Our fears and our dreams,” Harpers eyes sparkled as she spoke. “Harper, I don’t need that,” Maddox said softly. “I do,” Harper whispered. “I’m sure you have several friends with whom you can share, I’m not capable of doing that, not yet,” he scowled and looked down. “You just did, see it was easy. Now my turn, I don’t have any friends that I feel like I can share those types of things with either,” Harper looked up at him and then quickly down. “I don’t understand,” Maddox admitted. “My family isn’t like the average family. We travel and spend a lot of time with just us. I love it, I actually do, but as far as friends go? Girls compete against one another and all the guys in my town are my relatives, which is cool, but I don’t have anyone to share details with that aren’t too close, you know?” Harper asked quietly. “I’m sorry Harper, but I really don’t,” Maddox looked uncomfortable. “Okay, I’ve never kissed a boy,” Harper said softly and squeezed her eyes shut. “Neither have I,” Maddox said with a smile in his voice. Harper opened her eyes and laughed out loud. He covered her mouth, “Shh!” They giggled, “See this is nice right?” “Yes Harper,” Maddox smiled. “I sometimes wish I could be alone for like a week, and not take care of everyone. But I know after two days I would lose it,” Harper smiled. “Admitting your crazy. See we’re getting somewhere, now,” Maddox smiled. “My dad likes you,” Harper smiled. “I’m not sure about that Harper — I was awful tonight,” Maddox closed his eyes, “But it felt really good to know I could be without being…abused.” “That’s why he likes you; you're like him, except young and funny. But I know I can trust you, I want you to know that the same is true for you. You can trust me,” Harper smiled. Maddox looked in her eyes and didn’t respond as he tried to understand what she was actually telling him. “Okay here’s a bombshell, my dad killed someone,” Harper said, “I trust you enough to keep that a secret.” Maddox looked confused, “Why?” “He was like twelve and his sister was being abused. He stopped it,” Harper looked cautiously up at him. “He saved her,” Maddox whispered. “For a short time, then crazy Nana killed her,” Harper tried to make light of the confession. “That must be where you get it,” Maddox chuckled. “Not funny,” Harper warned. “My mother’s the crazy one. Or was…she died,” Maddox let out a breath. “I heard, I’m sorry Maddox,” Harper grabbed his hand.
“You heard a lot,” Maddox closed his eyes. “You didn’t choose any of those things they chose you. Now it’s your time and lucky you, you have a new friend who’s going to be in your corner — rooting you on,” Harper hugged him. Maddox closed his eyes and put one of his hands gently on her back, “Thank you Harper.” They sat and talked until they both fell asleep with their backs on the wall and their heads together. They didn’t let go of each other hands. *** “Harper Ann!” Tessa snapped as she walked into Maddox room. Harper’s eyes were still closed, “Good morning, Mom.” Harper opened her eyes and smiled. She was under the covers on Maddox’s bed. She felt someone squeeze her hand and looked beside her, “Oh shit,” she heard Maddox whisper, and it made her laugh. “This is not funny Harper,” Tessa snapped, “Now get your ass out here before...” “What’s going on Tessa?” Emma asked from behind her. “We’re in trouble, completely screwed Harper,” Maddox whispered without moving a muscle. “Are you going to wake up and help me out?” Harper giggled. “Hell no, you wouldn’t leave last night. I’m going to fake sleep through this, your so screwed,” he began to snore. “You're seriously ignoring me young lady? If your father sees you, you’re so screwed,” Tessa whispered loudly. “He won't let go of my hand Mom. He wouldn’t let me leave here last night, and I would hate for you to know what he has on under these covers,” Harper said dramatically. “What’s going on Tessa? Everything okay?” Collins voice called from down the hall. Maddox sat up at the sound of Collin’s voice and pushed Harper off the bed, and they laughed. “Damn it Harper Ann — what are you doing in there!” Collin yelled entering the room. “Trying to sleep, but apparently no one thinks it’s a good idea,” she laughed and so did Maddox. “Collin keep your voice down! London and Lexington are sleeping!” Tessa scolded him. Emma was leaning against the wall covering her face terrified to move. “Em, is he okay?” Brody walked out of their room and saw them congregating in the doorway. Brody flew into the room. “Hey, wow, it’s Brody Hines, mega rock star wearing almost nothing,” Harper laughed. Maddox laughed so hard he had tears rolling down his face. Brody stood frozen and then felt tears flooding his eyes. He let out a deep breath and covered his face. He was watching his son who looked so carefree and happy. For the very first time he saw a glimpse of what Maddox may have been like had he not suffered for all of those years. It was an overwhelming feeling “Dad?” Maddox scrambled to his feet and hugged him, “I’m so sorry.” “No Maddox — look at you. Hearing you laugh without reserve. My god, Maddox,” Brody hugged him tighter. “Hines, have you lost your damn mind?” Collin sneered. “Leave him alone Dad,” Harper wrapped her arms around Maddox and Brody. “Tessa,” Collin snapped. “She didn’t do him, for crying out loud Collin,” she snapped back. “Holy shit, Tessa,” Collin gasped. “Take a walk Abraham,” Tessa snapped, “I’ve got this.” “Thank God,” Maddox laughed, “Your dad scares the crap out of me.” Harper laughed and stepped back; she turned to Tessa and smiled. “You're still in trouble, girl. Get your butt out here and give them some privacy,” Tessa grabbed her
hand. Brody looked at her and mouthed thank you. Tessa and Harper both smiled at him. Emma looked at Tessa when she walked out, “Emma, go on in.” *** “I want to kick her ass,” Collin snapped. “Okay that’s a bit much,” Tessa laughed, “They were asleep sitting on the bed. Here look, it was so cute I took a picture.” “You took a fucking picture Tessa?” Collin said, exasperated. “I did. Maybe you should take a picture of this,” she said and flipped him off. “Because if you don’t calm the hell down that’s the closest you're going to get to the real thing, Collin.” Tessa tossed her phone at him and walked into the house. Emma laughed when Tessa walked in the house. “Sorry, Emma.” “No, it’s actually pleasant to know that I’m not alone. Brody and I have lots of those moments. I’m assuming we are going to have one again soon. I don’t think its good parenting to hug your child when they’ve broken a rule,” Emma giggled. “They really weren’t doing anything. If you need proof I have a photo. Cutest little picture ever,” Tessa giggled. “Well I want to see. Maybe you could text it to me?” Harper smiled at her mother and pulled herself up on the counter. Collin walked in the door and glared at Harper, “You are grounded!” Harper laughed, “From what?” “You’re grounded from whatever it is I say that’s what!” Collin snapped and walked past Tessa, “You, in the bedroom now.” “Mom don’t do it, you’ll get grounded to,” Harper yelled as Tessa walked out the door. Emma looked at the floor and tried not to laugh. “Well, is Maddox grounded?” Harper laughed. “I haven’t talked to Brody yet,” Emma smiled softly at Harper. “It was my fault,” Harper offered. “I wanted to talk to him, about all the nonsense I pulled yesterday. And about how he acted with Dad, I kind of insisted,” Harper smiled. “Did you tell her about all the tears you laid on me Harper?” Maddox walked out and smiled at her. “No, not yet,” Harper smiled back. Collin walked into the room and asked everyone to sit, “Tessa believes we should hear you both out before I make any further threats or remarks that…” he looked at Tessa, “Cannot be undone. Go ahead. Let's hear it.” They all sat, and Harper told a highly theatrical account of the evening. Maddox chuckled as she used a British accent. When she told them he had said, “I may be unstable, but you are a textbook case of bleeping crazy,” they all laughed except Collin. “So as you can see ladies and gentlemen, my friend and I were talking and fell asleep. We did not bump uglies.” Collin gasped. “Thank you for attending this adaptation of Harper’s first time…or not.” Brody laughed and stood and clapped, “That was wonderful, Harper.” Brody looked around and his face turned red, and he sat. “The door was open Tessa?” Collin asked. “Yes, Daddy. Maddox tried to show me out several times,” Harper laughed.
“I didn’t want any trouble,” Maddox scowled at her. “I know,” she scowled back and then smiled. Emma looked at Tessa and smiled. “Our socks were on too, Dad,” Harper grinned. “And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Collin snapped. “Mom were Dad’s socks on last night?” Harper asked. “Yes Harper why?” Tessa looked confused. “Well just an observation. When Dad comes out barefoot in the morning, he seems happier, that’s all. Maybe he should keep his socks off every night. Hot feet make you miserable Daddy. Come on Maddox, let’s go for a run,” Harper grabbed his hand, “Oh I’m sorry, is this okay?” “Harper, give me a minute please,” Tessa grabbed her hand. “What Mom?” Harper smiled. “Enough, you're being hurtful to your father and that’s enough,” Tessa scolded her. “But he jumped to conclusions,” Harper stomped. “I don’t care, he’s your father, and you will not be disrespectful to him, ever, understand?” Tessa looked at her. “Whatevs,” Harper smiled. “Okay that was the phone for a week.” Tessa told her. “Are you serious?” Harper gasped. “Of course I am. Shall we continue?” Tessa asked. “Sure Mom. He screws up and I get punished for it?” Harper was shocked. “He’s your father young lady. You did not come with a manual on how to deal with this. Your tone and attitude are what lost you your phone. We’re at a week, shall we add more time?” Tessa asked. “Can I go for a run?” Harper snapped. “Yes Harper,” Tessa answered her eyebrows still raised. Maddox looked at Brody, “Go ahead.” Maddox and Harper both walked outside “I’m truly sorry,” Brody looked at Collin. “No, it was an overreaction. I don’t think they did anything wrong, well I don’t now anyway. Damn this parenting thing isn’t easy with a girl,” Collin looked out the window at Harper. “Good to know. We will have double trouble then, Em,” Brody smiled softly and hugged her, “You okay?” “I kind of just froze, and I cannot believe the girls slept through all that,” Emma laughed. “Sun and fun Em. I wish we could just move here,” Brody smiled. “We have to get back soon, huh?” Emma asked. “Yes, before they find out we left the country while I’m on bail,” Brody smirked, “We are bad ass Em.” Emma laughed and looked at Tessa who was looking at Collin. “We should give them a few minutes,” Brody smiled. “Okay,” Emma smiled back. *** “I’m not used to this,” Maddox panted as he flopped down on the sand. Harper giggled, “You did excellent for your first time.” “I’m sure you will as well,” Maddox smiled at her. “What?” Harper gasped. “You said last night you have never been kissed. I know that bothered you, I’m sure you’ll do well,”
Maddox looked up at Harper. “What makes you think that?” Harper blushed. “Your lips are beautiful and your breath was still sweet this morning,” Maddox smiled and stood up, “You, my friend, will do well.” “Um thanks?” Harper blushed. “Is that inappropriate?” Maddox asked. “No, I suppose not. Unexpected though,” Harper laughed uncomfortable. “I trust you now Harper. After this morning’s craziness, I know I’ll always be able to,” Maddox grabbed her hand, “I’m glad you're my first true friend.” Harper stopped and looked at him, “Me too, Maddox. When’s your birthday and how old are you?” “It's September something, I just saw my birth certificate, I’m pretty sure it’s the third. I’ll be sixteen,” He looked at Harper, “And yours?” “I just turned seventeen on May 13th. I’ll be a senior this year. Ahead of the curve. Mom says it’s because of all the traveling. Apparently I learned to read the summer I turned four,” Harper laughed. “And I learned at ten,” Maddox shook his head. “Oh, so what grade will you be in?” Harper smiled at him. “I have no idea, I’ve never attended school,” Maddox laughed. “It’ll be fun, I’m sure you’ll meet lots of friends,” Harper forced a smile, “Just, so you know, friends don’t normally hold hands.” “I didn’t assume they did. But maybe very special friends do?” Maddox asked. “I don’t know, but we do,” Harper smiled. “Yes we do,” Maddox smiled back. They walked a bit more, “Harper, I want to tell you something, a very big secret.” “I’m listening,” Harper smiled. “I think I know why my family is in danger,” Maddox stopped, “It’s because of me and I’m afraid that one of them will pay for my past.” “Maddox, it’s not your fault,” Harper looked at him, and he looked away. “It may not be, but I can assure you that when I get proof, I’ll be the one who stops it,” Maddox felt her hands on his face, and she gently pulled so he was looking at her. “Please, when you figure it out, tell them Maddox. My Dad will help you,” Harper rubbed his cheek lightly, “Please Maddox; I can't lose my only true friend.” “I’ll make sure they know,” Maddox leaned into her touch, “This feels comfortable.” Harper smiled, “You’re a beautiful person Maddox.” Maddox blushed and opened his eyes. He pulled her hands away from his face, lifted it to his lips. And kissed it gently, “Harper, you are as well.” Harper smiled, “My first kiss.” “Wow, sorry, that must have been disappointing,” Maddox laughed. They continued walking. “No, I bet it’ll be better than the first one with lip action,” Harper smiled, “Who do you think is after your family?” “I won’t do that to you Harper, but I’ll tell you the pig who smelled of whores and money, one who visited the home in which I was held is close. It’ll be very ugly, and I won’t let them be injured,” Maddox smiled sadly. “Have you told them anything?” Harper asked. “It’ll put them in danger Harper,” Maddox looked at her, “I can trust you, can't I?” “Of course. Hey do you have a cell phone?” Harper asked. “I have lots of gadgets,” Maddox smiled. “I’m going to give you my contact information. We can call, text, and email every day. I mean when
we have time, right?” Harper asked. “If I can figure it all out I will,” Maddox smiled. “Good, I want to know you’re alright,” Harper smiled. “We should head back.” Maddox asked. “Yes, wouldn’t want the wardens to get any crankier than they already are,” Harper gaffed. “Hey they love you, but they’re human right?” Maddox asked quietly. Harper let out a breath, “Yes, and I love them, too.”
CHAPTER SIX “Brody...Emma…. we have a problem,” Collin said quietly as he walked out the door, “Please come in when you get a minute.” Brody and Emma stood by the door watching Maddox and Harper play with London and Lexi, “What’s happened?” “The authorities are looking for you. You haven’t answered their calls, and Clive has not given them your whereabouts so there’s an APB out for you. We need to get you back home soon, and we have to get you in undetected. You're out of the country, and if that’s discovered, you know where that will land you.” Collin looked at his phone, “Looks like we’re set for tomorrow morning, I’ll give you the details when I have them all. Tomas is working on it.” Maddox was in the door, and he looked sadly at Brody, “Are we leaving?” “Yes we have to, Maddox,” Emma opened the door. “I would like,” Maddox stopped and looked down. “It’s nice here is it not?” Brody asked. “I’ve enjoyed myself a lot,” Maddox admitted he looked up, “Even though I’ve caused some problems. I’ve really enjoyed my time here. Thank you, Collin and Tessa.” “Please enjoy yourself the rest of the time you’ve got left here, Maddox,” Tessa hugged him. “How does one do that when they know it’s coming to an end?” Maddox asked sincerely. “You choose to make the best of it, and I can assure you that you’ll be welcome anytime,” Collin patted his back. “You aren’t angry with me?” Maddox asked surprised. “No. Even adults make mistakes, Maddox. I misjudged the situation…” Collin began. “Based on what you know of me?” Maddox asked in the same innocent sincere tone. “Well that’s what some people may think, but there has to be a little of self- realization in passing judgment as well,” Collin smiled. “Meaning?” Maddox asked. “Maddox, he means that because of our own life choices…Well they sometimes sway our judgments. So because police officers are quite frankly pissing me off right now, I may hold resentments against all of them for a very long time. Or if I was scratched by a cat as a child and it gave me cat scratch fever, I may never like them again. That’s how people build prejudice, well some people do. For others, prejudice is learned from the people they were raised around. What Collin’s saying is that sometimes our judgment of others is based on what we do, not like that we see in our past. It takes some a lifetime to realize this, others never see it,” Brody smiled. “So it’s like when Harper came to my room last evening, and I didn’t trust her when she said she wanted us to be friends? It may have been because others have come to me wanting more?” Maddox asked. Emma closed her eyes and swallowed hard, “I’m sure your life experiences are going to cause you to mistrust, but you’ll get past it Maddox.” “How can I make it happen faster? Because I enjoy friendship immensely,” Maddox smiled. “Learning your worth is the first step. Your family showing you true love is another. But its hope Maddox. If you allow yourself to hope and well, there is nothing stronger,” Brody said. “So love and hope,” Maddox smiled. “Yes, don’t ever lose either of them,” Emma hugged him tightly.
Maddox looked up, and Harper had tears in her eyes, “I wasn’t spying.” “I didn’t think you were, Harper,” Maddox smiled and looked down, “Trust is another to be added to this list.” “Trust that’s earned Maddox,” Brody cautioned. “Lexington is asleep,” Harper smiled and handed her to Emma, “London has Tomas building sand castles. “Are you serious?” Tessa laughed and looked out the window, “Prayer too Maddox, your list should include believing that, what God has planned for you is better than you could ever imagine.” Maddox smiled softly and looked down. He looked briefly up at Harper who was smiling at him. *** Emma and Brody had everything packed. They laid in bed. “Em, you ready for all this again?” “Yes, I’m ready for our family to move forward. I need to call the school and set up some testing to see where Maddox tests, so we have some idea of where he’ll be when school starts. I need to be sure I have a job when I get home, I need…” “I need you, desperately Em, I need you,” Brody kissed her, and she opened her mouth to him. He pulled her nightgown up and freed himself from the cotton pajama pants he wore. “No silk and bows tonight love, it’s been far too long, I need to be wrapped in you Em. Tell me that’s alright, show me you need this as much as I do,” Brody closed his eyes in silent prayer. Emma kissed him slowly, sliding her tongue on top of his gently, softly, slowly. His hand rubbed gently down her side and between her legs, “So soft, like silk, and wet with desire. Fuck...I want you so bad Em.” “Then have me,” Emma moaned as his finger entered her, “Oh damn.” Brody positioned himself above her and slowly entered her. His face hardened revealing restraint. Emma pulled back. “Are you alright Em?” Brody let out a guttural groan as he fell out of her, and he clenched his jaw. “I’m fine, but I really don’t want to see you holding back for me,” Emma got up and pushed him down on his back, “So I’m going to fuck you until I can't anymore and you’re going to lay there and watch without restraint. When you're ready to come, Brody, I want to feel your big cock twitch as it fills me completely.” “Damn it, Emma,” his jaw clenched. “Shut up, Music Man,” Emma said as she mounted him. “You are so fucking hot Em,” he pushed into her and groaned. “And I’m about to rock your world, Music Man,” she said and licked her lips. Brody clenched his teeth and hissed as she slowly moved down taking almost all of him. He grasped the sheets hard. His knuckles turned white as Emma arched back, holding herself up with her hands on his knees as she bounced up and down on him hard and fast. “Oh God, ahhhh,” Emma started to fall into him. Brody sat up quickly and kissed her as she moaned into his mouth. He held her tightly to his body and pumped wildly into her until he finished. “Em,” he whispered as he leaned back into the bed taking her. She continued circling him with her hips. “You're purring Em,” he kissed her neck. “You need to finish, huh?” “Shh,” she smiled and slowly continued to move. Brody flipped her on her back and kissed her. She opened her eyes and gasped. He swiftly spread her knees with his and pushed two fingers into her hard. He watched her eyes roll slightly, and she bit her lip. “So fucking wet, a nice mixture of me and you, Love,” he kissed her breast and nipped at her pebbled
nipples, “Such a magical combination.” Her body tensed as his fingers moved faster, “I wonder how we taste?” Brody licked her sweet spot and sucked gently as he hummed, “Mmm, so good.” The vibration of his lips pushed her over the edge. Emma grabbed his hair and pushed into him, and her body fell apart. “Much better, Love,” he laid next to her and kissed her as she tried to regain composure, “You look so fucking hot when you’re coming down.” Emma opened her eyes and smiled, “I feel wonderful.” “I can attest to that,” he kissed her and smiled. “You feel amazing,” she smiled back. “You should feel us together, I did, and it was magic Em,” he grinned. Emma blushed and closed her eyes, “I love you more.” *** Maddox stood by the water and watched the moon’s reflection shimmer as he breathed in the sea’s air. “Sneaking out again?” Harper asked nudging him. “Yes, it’s so beautiful out here,” he glanced at her and smiled, “Peaceful.” “I use to sneak out at night and swim. Well I thought I was sneaking out, but Tomas knew,” she giggled. “You swam at night?” Maddox asked. “Best time to swim, want to try it out?” Harper smiled broadly. “How would we get past the security alarms?” Maddox asked. “I know the code. Why, do you truly want to?” Harper clapped and jumped up and down. Maddox laughed, “Sure Harper.” “Cool, I’ll go turn it off, but we have to be quick,” Harper headed to the house and turned and smiled, “Get ready.” Maddox watched as she ran out, “Okay we have fifteen minutes tops, come on buddy!” Harper threw her shirt over her head and took her shorts of and looked up and smiled, “Hurry up.” Maddox looked at her and quickly away. “Oh sorry. Damn now I know how Eve felt,” Harper covered her bra and panties with her hands. Maddox laughed and took his shirt off, “Then I will experience what Adam did. This is odd, you know.” “Think about it, swimwear is more revealing,” Harper looked up at him, “Hey Maddox, you can keep the underwear.” “Oh, sorry, I didn’t…” Maddox nervously pulled up his boxers up. “Hey Maddox, don’t get all funky on me. We’re friends right? No big deal,” Harper smiled and turned towards the water, shook her head slightly, and let out a breath. She swam underwater and surfaced as he stood scowling and looking for her. “I’m here,” she splashed him. “Well don’t do that, I didn’t know where you were,” he said quietly and swam towards her. “It’s nice out here, huh?” Harper smiled. “Amazing,” he looked up in wonder at the stars, “The sky is so clear, the moon’s reflection on the sea is a sight to behold.” Harper smiled, “It is pretty cool.” They both went deeper and tread water, stealing glances at each other and laughing. “Should we go back in?” Maddox asked, “I think it’s been at least ten minutes.” “We have time, unless you want to get out,” Harper looked at him. “Alright then,” Maddox smiled softly.
“Do you have a phone, or an email address?” Harper asked. “I have some gadgets,” he smiled. “Not sure what they do. Harper, I did already tell you this. I would have to ask London — she’s a pro.” Harper laughed, “We should do that before you leave if you want to keep in touch.” Maddox looked at her and smiled, “I would enjoy that.” “Can I ask what happened to you, these marks on you back?” Harper touched them softly. Maddox tried not to flinch, but he could not help it. “Oh I’m sorry,” Harper stepped away. “No, Harper …you didn’t do this. I was beaten,” Maddox raised his eyebrow and shook his head. “I hate whoever did that to you,” Harper whispered. “How could anyone do this to you?” Maddox looked at her curiously. Harper realized how she was looking at him. She closed her eyes and cleared her throat, “It’s not right you know. People should never hurt someone else just to feel empowered. It’s sick.” Maddox closed his eyes and shuddered slightly. “What about the ones on your upper thighs?” Harper asked, and he turned away, Harper grabbed his face gently and turned it towards her. “Maddox, none of this is your fault; it breaks my heart to see…” “Harper what do you need to know?” He pulled away, “And why do you need to know it?” “I care about you Maddox we’re friends,” Harper looked away. “Why?” He snapped. “I see your heart. I see the way you care for the people who love you, and I want to be one of the people you love,” Harper quickly put her hand over her mouth. Maddox looked confused, “Why are you doing this to me? Look at me Harper – I’m a mess. I don’t understand all these things. Friendship is a foreign concept to me. I’m trying, but I can’t just...Damn it — I leave tomorrow. I won’t have friends. I’ll more than likely end up dead Harper, so just forget…” “Why will you be dead Maddox? They can protect you,” Harper began crying. “Please don’t do that. Damn it Harper. Life’s not pretty or perfect. Look at the scars my father wears. My mother’s dead. Emma and my sisters are in danger. I don’t need you in that same position, or anyone else for that matter,” Maddox wiped her tears away and looked down at her, “Thank you for being my first friend Harper, but it can’t continue.” “That’s not how it works! You don’t just stop caring for someone,” Harper snapped at him. Maddox looked at her, and his eyebrows rose, “It’s how it has to be.” Maddox started to swim away and she grabbed him, “Why can you so quickly turn off feelings Maddox?” “I have no choice, Harper,” Maddox yelled. “I want you to be my first kiss,” Harper demanded. “Why?” “It won't be awkward. I won't see you again. So if I suck at it, no one will know. I trust you,” Harper put her hands on her hips. She realized she was going about it all wrong but she desperately wanted him to stop being angry at her, to trust her, to love her. “No, Harper, a kiss shouldn’t be rushed, it should be savored, enjoyed, and special,” Maddox said softly. “I just want it over with,” Harper rolled her eyes. “How silver sweet sound lovers’ tongues by night, like softest music to attending ears, William Shakespeare,” Maddox repeated a revered phrase. “Shakespeare?” Harper asked confused, “You’re quoting Shakespeare?” “Yes,” Maddox smiled and then whispered, “Attending ears Harper.” Harper stepped back and looked at the beach. Brody and Emma stood looking at them.
“Em, not going to happen in the water huh?” Brody chuckled. “No, and now you have to be angry Dad, or at least stern,” Emma smiled at him. “Maddox, Harper, get in here,” Brody yelled and looked at Emma and whispered, “Stern enough Em?” Emma smiled, “Good job Big Daddy.” Brody gasped, “Emma, are you flirting with me at such an inopportune time?” Emma winked, “Sure am.” Maddox and Harper walked out of the water. “What are you two doing?” Emma asked shaking her head. “Just swimming,” Harper stood with her hands on her hips in defensive stance and Maddox looked at her and realized he could nearly see through undergarments. Maddox gasped. Brody looked at Harper, and then at Maddox, who was still staring. Brody quickly covered Maddox eyes and closed his own. Emma looked at them and back at Harper, “Harper take my towel and cover yourself please.” Harper looked down and saw what had caused Maddox and Brody to react like they did. “Holy shit,” Harper gasped and took the towel and wrapped it around herself. Maddox laughed and Harper smacked him. Brody let go of Maddox and looked at Emma, “Is she decent?” “Yes,” Emma said trying not to laugh. Maddox laughed harder, and Harper slugged him in the arm. “We were just swimming, I didn’t know…” Harper looked at Emma and then at Brody, “I’m sorry.” Maddox laughed still harder, “Would you shut up?” “What?” Harper snapped at him. Maddox couldn’t stop the smile from creeping across his face. “Good God, Maddox,” Harper covered her face. “Maddox — enough,” Emma said softly. “Harper, why don’t you go inside and get to bed?” Brody said nicely. Maddox started walking in, and Brody grabbed his arm, “Not you, kiddo.” Emma and Brody watched as Maddox tried to keep a straight face. “She didn’t look like that in the water,” Maddox informed them. “Okay, what happened?” Brody asked. Maddox told them that he was looking at the water that it calmed him and he would miss it. She came out and suggested that they swim. “That’s it?” Brody asked. “Yes. Do I have text messaging or email?” Maddox asked. “We can set it up” Brody smiled. “Good. I like her, and not because of how she appears,” Maddox grinned, “I mean she’s beautiful but I like her friendship.” “I’m glad you have a friend, and I’m also really glad there will be some distance between you two,” Emma said, “Let’s go to bed.” `*** “Maddox,” she whispered shaking him lightly. “I’m awake Harper,” Maddox sat up. “I have something for you,” Harper smiled and sat him and sat next to him, “Give me your wrist.” She didn’t wait for his reply she grabbed his hand and tied something around it.
He looked down, “What’s this for?” “I have traveled a lot and have only met a few true friends, many of which I can't communicate with because of language barriers or the fact that I may never see them again. There are some symbols that represent friendship that I have learned through different people and cultures; I wanted you to have something, so you didn’t forget we were friends. So I made this,” Harper smiled. “Woven bracelets are a universal symbol, but started with the Native Americans. It’s said that if you take it off you’re breaking that bond. But if it falls off due to the fact you have worn it so long you are entitled to a wish that will come true. Its blue, the color is like the ocean, which you seem to like. I put tiny silver beads in it, some engraved. The pineapple is symbolic of friendship in many cultures. When hosts of dinner parties topped their food with the top of a pineapple it honored their guests. The crossing arrows are also a sign of friendship. The topaz is a sign of friendship that will last forever and is said to help with courage, happiness, intelligence, and protects against injury. The cross kind of voids all of that because it’s the true sign of love, and starting new,” Harper let go of the bracelet and looked up and smiled. “Well thank you, but…I wish I had something to give to you,” Maddox looked annoyed. “Accepting this is the only gift I need,” Harper smiled. Maddox looked at her, smiled, and whispered “Thank you.” Harper started to stand. “Wait…I guess I have something…if you still want it.” Maddox said. Harper looked confused. “I’ve never done this so just sit still,” Maddox squinted his eyes tight and let out a breath, “Don’t move,” Maddox opened his eyes and cupped her chin in his hand. “Oh Maddox you don’t have to, not if it makes you uncomfortable…” Harper stopped talking as he slowly curiously rubbed his thumb across her lips. “Shh, please,” he sat up on his knees and pulled her up gently. Harper felt her heart beating against her chest, and she closed her eyes quickly. His hands gently touched the side of her cheeks. She felt him release a hot breath against her face and knew he was close. Maddox lifted her chin slightly and very gently kissed her lips. He closed his eyes and opened his lips slightly and covered hers. Harper let out a sweet, little moan. He felt her hands on his shoulders. He kissed her again. Harper opened her mouth to let out a breath and felt his body sagging and pulling away from her. Maddox kissed her gently again. His lips covered hers and then hers covered his. He hunched his back like a scared cat, ensuring that the connection was their lips only. The tortured feeling, too quickly was turning to pleasure. It felt good to kiss her. Aside from the loving kisses he had just recently experienced with Brody, Emma, and the girls he had never experienced anything like this before. It felt wonderful. Too wonderful. He opened his eyes and took her face between his hands and pulled away. Harper looked up at him as he was searching her eyes for an answer to the question in his mind — was it enjoyable for her as well? Her face was flushed, and her eyes sparkled and danced in his. He slowly released her face, and they both stared at each other. Harper smiled. Maddox closed his eyes and sat back against the wall. “No big deal right?” Harper whispered. Maddox quickly looked up at her and scowled. “No, it was nice Maddox, real nice, but it’s not like the world changed because of it...did it?” Harper looked at him. “No Harper, no big deal,” Maddox looked down. “I didn’t mean it like that,” Harper said sadly.
“Harper, I’m tired okay?” Maddox stood up. “Maddox…” Harper began. “Goodnight Harper,” Maddox said and looked away. “No, listen here friend. It was amazing. It felt great. If you weren’t my friend I would be doing it again,” Harper scowled at him, and he smiled. “Goodnight Harper,” he smiled. “Goodnight Maddox, and thank you,” Harper grinned and turned and walked out the door. Maddox laid down and smiled. He had thought a kiss would be awful...painful even, but it wasn’t, not at all. He smiled and looked at his bracelet examining each bead and remembered the significance of each. He closed his eyes and fell into a peaceful sleep. *** Brody and Collin were sitting outside in deep conversation when Maddox walked outside. “Good morning Dad, good morning Collin,” Maddox smiled. “Have a pleasant swim last night?” Collin asked Maddox smile fell from his face, and he looked at Brody. “I’m sorry,” he said softly to Collin. “Maddox, I’m not angry, just concerned that you so easily put yourself in danger. You need to remember that until we figure out who is behind all this alright?” Collin asked with true concern in his voice. “Yes, I will,” Maddox said softly. “Good morning Daddy, Brody, and Maddox,” Harper smiled brightly, “I’m going to make breakfast and let Mom and Emma sleep in. Any requests?” Collin took a deep breath, “Don’t go for midnight swims, for starters.” Harpers’ face fell, “Ok.” She turned to walk in the house and grinned at Maddox. He couldn’t stop his answering smile, “could I go help?” “Sure,” Brody smiled softly. “Did you see the way she looked at him?” Collin growled after the kids went inside. Brody looked up, “Do you truly want me to answer that or is it a rhetorical question?” Collin smiled, “Probably a good thing you're leaving today.” “I think right now they both truly think it’s a friendship. Maddox has a lot to work through before he even considers any relationship that…Well he has a lot to work on,” Brody said sadly. “You can't beat yourself up over this Brody, you were fifteen and didn’t even know,” Collin let out a groan, “Tessa and I, on the other had have inadvertently sheltered our kids from the western ways of the world by showing them the rest of it. I have two boys that are in college now and that scares the hell out of me more than taking them to any third world country.” Brody laughed, “So we’re screwed either way, huh?” “I hope not. I hope that what we teach them will always bring them back on track when they stray and I say when...because it’s all a part of growing up,” Collin smiled, “Your boy may not be socially ready to conquer the world, but his heart is pure and he desperately wants your acceptance. He’ll be better than fine when you get him through all of this, Brody.” *** They all ate breakfast and made small talk. Tessa and Emma watched as Harper and Maddox stole glances at each other both aware of a connection the two kids had made during this time in hiding.
Brody became more anxious as the hour to leave neared. Emma watched him try to hold it together, “Go for a run, Brody.” “What?” He laughed. “Go for a run down the beach, you’re so tense right now,” Emma rubbed his shoulders. “You told me I didn’t get to run away when I felt like this anymore Emma, I get it now, you can’t just let go and blow off steam. We’re a family. You held it together for a long time alone and I won’t leave you alone in it again,” Brody kissed her. “It’s safe here. We’re leaving and you’re a ball of stress. Go run,” Emma whispered in his ear. “I would rather let off steam another way Em,” Brody smiled at her. “Okay take me right here,” Emma leaned back and lifted her arms in the air and he laughed, and she smiled, “Go running, and if all three little people fall asleep on the plane, well...maybe.” “Mile high club, Em,” he clenched his jaw and held her tightly. “Brody go,” Emma pushed him away, “If you don’t let off some steam, I’m afraid you may kill me when we join that club.” Brody laughed as she walked away. “Hey Maddox,” Brody yelled, “Go for a run with me?” “Sure,” Maddox smiled. *** They pulled into the small one strip airport at two in the afternoon. Tessa and Emma loaded the kids while Collin and Brody grabbed the bags. Maddox and Harper stepped out of the car with the last bag. “Maddox, thank you,” Harper smiled up at him, “Please stay safe and don’t be stupid. If you know something, you have to tell your Dad.” “They’ll be fine Harper,” Maddox looked away. Harper took his face and turned it back towards her, “Easy, Harper,” Maddox smiled pulled her hands off his face. “I want to kiss you goodbye,” Harper said, and her face turned red. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he swallowed hard. Harper stomped her foot and started to turn away, “Don’t be mad at me.” “Why does it feel like I won't see you again? Like you don’t want to see me again?” Harper looked at him studied his face. “Perhaps because I’m leaving, on that plane, right there,” Maddox joked and she smiled. “Tell me you’ll be okay?” Harper said sadly. “Harper, I’m going to kiss you to shut you up, and then I’m getting on that plane. You and I can still talk, you gave me a page full of information on how to contact you,” Maddox laughed. “You are going to kiss me…like a friend?” Harper blushed. “Do friends kiss this much Harper?” Maddox lifted her chin. “We do,” she whispered as she closed her eyes. “You’re lovely Harper,” Maddox whispered and very gently kissed her lips. Harper grabbed his face when she felt him pull away and kissed him harder. He hunched pulling his body away, leaving his lips to hers. “Harper, you need to stop,” he said sadly. She kissed him again. Her lips wrapped around his and then kissed his cheek gently and let go of his face. He didn’t move, and his eyes remained closed. He slowly opened his eyes and breathed, “I want more of that, Harper.”
“Me too,” she smiled shyly. He rubbed her cheek and leaned in for more and she stepped back, “When you show me I can trust you to keep yourself safe and when I see you again I’m going to kiss you until your lips are sore.” “That’s not nice my friend,” he said quietly. “It’ll be very nice,” Harper smiled. Maddox groaned. She smiled, “Just so you know Maddox, those kinds of kisses are magical.” “Do you feel…will you be kissing others like that?” Maddox looked at her. “Will you?” Harper asked. “No, no — I won't,” Maddox took her hand. “I won't either, unless I can't trust you, unless you do something stupid,” Harper scowled. Maddox smiled, “Thank you.” Tessa cleared her throat, and Harper jumped. Emma stood next to her looking down, “Ready, Maddox?” Maddox looked at Harper and winked, “Yes, I am.” Harper smiled, and he started to turn she grabbed him and hugged him, “I’m already in trouble.” Maddox laughed and wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly, “Me too, you are trouble.” Harper kissed his cheek, and he kissed hers, “Call me?” “When I can,” Maddox smiled and stepped away. He walked toward the plane and turned and smiled at Harper, who now stood with her parents. She smiled wildly and blew him a kiss. He laughed and held up his bracelet. Harper rubbed her lips and smiled even bigger. Maddox walked on the plane. *** “Look at him Em, he’s wound. He isn’t going to fall asleep,” Brody kissed her hand, wrapped in his. “He and Harper kissed,” Emma looked up at Brody. “Damn it, Tessa and Collin are going to be pissed,” Brody groaned and flopped back against his seat. “Tessa knows. It happened when she and I left the plane. We watched the whole thing go down. Tessa and I should have stopped it,” Emma giggled. “Why didn’t you?” Brody gasped. “I have no idea,” Emma looked at him and smiled, “Are you mad?” “No, just concerned, sleep Em,” Brody kissed her and closed his eyes leaning back.
CHAPTER SEVEN Emma woke Maddox when they pulled in the driveway, “We’re home.” “Should I carry Lexington?” He asked reaching for her. “Thank you Maddox. Lexi can go right to bed as long as she stays asleep,” Emma smiled as she picked up London. London and Lexington were tucked into bed. Emma stood at the dishwasher and started to put away the dishes. She thought of Ann and all that she had done to help her through so much of the emotional stress she’d been through. She thought of Rupert and how he was a much different person since Ann had come to work for them. It hadn’t been that long but the change in Rupert was like night and day. He smiled more and was kinder. She began to cry and quickly wiped her tears away. Get it together Emma, she told herself, there’s so much more to get through. Maddox walked into the kitchen and got a drink. Emma wiped her face, removing any tears that may still be on her face. She didn’t want him to feel unsafe. She needed to be strong. “Should I head to bed as well?” Maddox asked. “Are you tired?” Emma put away the last dish, and turned to smile at him. “No, not really,” Maddox looked up at Emma shyly. “Then stay with me, we could watch TV,” Emma smiled. “I heard you tell Dad you needed to work. I could just go to my room and read until I’m tired,” Maddox offered. Emma smiled, “What’s on your mind, Maddox?” “I was kind of wondering about e-mail and text messaging,” he blushed. “Go grab your electronic things, I can help you,” Emma giggled knowing he was thinking of Harper. Emma and Maddox added numbers to his phone, and Emma laughed when he tried to find a screen name. Brody walked in the room and found them laughing, “You’re back?” “I am, anyone need anything from me?” Brody sat next to Maddox and smiled. Maddox smiled, “You’re home?” “Yes, they didn’t have enough to hold me, and the fact that I showed up at the police station helped out I’m sure,” Brody smiled and looked at Emma. Emma saw the pain in his eyes and knew something had happened; he smiled and winked at her. His attempt to mask his pain. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Brody put his arm around Maddox shoulder. “No, actually I’m a bit tired. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go to my room,” Maddox looked down. Emma smiled, “Sure Maddox, just remember what we talked about, anything sent is forever okay? That means pictures, conversations; they’re in cyber space forever and ever.” Maddox smiled and nodded his head in agreement. “Hey what did I miss?” Brody looked at them and neither said anything, “Would this have anything to do with your new friend?” Maddox and Emma laughed, “I can email her. She gave me her information — I didn’t ask for it.” “Okay Maddox, be respectful,” Brody stood up and hugged him. Maddox started to walk away, “Does that mean I shouldn’t call her wench, or threaten to smack her backside?” Emma laughed, and Brody grabbed him and hugged him again, “The fact that you have to ask tells me
you somehow already know the answer to that. I love you.” “I love you both, goodnight,” Maddox said, and they heard his feet patter up the stairs. “What’s going on Brody?” Emma asked as he sat next to her. “Well...Ariel overdosed, she died in her place early this morning,” Brody looked at her. “Are you okay? I mean you were married to her,” Emma said softly. “No, I’m not. I can't help feeling that this is all related,” Brody sat up and closed his eyes, “We almost died Emma, Troy, my father, my ex-wife, our staff, and your sister. What the fuck is the connection other than me, and what the hell am I going to do to stop it all?” “We stay held up here. We try our best to keep everyone safe until something clicks, until we get a lead, until the police do their jobs,” Emma stood and paced. “We know that no one is safe when there is a connection to me Emma. No one close anyway,” Brody watched her walk around. “Brody my parents…” Emma panicked. “Clive is on his way to get them, they’ll stay with us,” Brody said softly. “Your sister and brother,” Emma began to shake. Brody stood and held her, “Rebecca’s on her way as well. I spoke to Bobby, he’s very safe where he is, and so is Bo.” “Thank God,” Emma said softly. “We need a break here Emma. I know we’ll get it, I just hate thinking those kids will be bored out of their minds held up here, and that we have to be so strong so that they won’t know how scared we are,” Brody kissed her head. “You’re scared?” Emma asked. “Yes Emma, I can't lose you or the kids, our family. I’m not afraid to fight till the death but I am terrified that someone might hurt you,” Brody closed his eyes. “I feel the same Brody. Whatever we do, we do together,” Emma kissed him. “I really wish I’d always been so forthcoming with you. It feels so good not to hide anymore, to know now that you truly do love me, all of me the good and the bad,” Brody kissed her. “Always,” Emma smiled. “And forever,” Brody smiled. As they kissed they heard footsteps and Brody pushed Emma behind him protectively. He let out a breath when Clive, Henry, and Caroline walked in. Caroline hugged Emma tightly and cried, “You’re okay.” “Yes Mom, we’re all fine,” Emma hugged her back. “Your mother’s going to sleep in with Lexington, I’ll sleep with London,” Henry said sitting the bags down, “For the next few nights anyway. Will you sleep with Maddox?” “Of course.” Brody looked down sadly, “I’m extremely sorry I have brought this all into your lives.” “Brody, you brought back our daughter, something we tried in vain to do for years and now we have closure. You gave us Lexington and Maddox. You love London as if she was yours, and our daughter is happy, even in this crazy mess, she’s happy and strong. We all gained so much from this. Our blessings came in the midst of our walk through hell son, we’ll all get there,” Henry hugged him, “This is all connected, I’ve worked out a theory I need to talk to you about, but I’m tired, can we do it tomorrow?” “Of course,” Brody said softly and patted his back. *** Maddox sat at the top of the stairs listening to the conversation; he knew he was the key to unwrapping the mystery. He just had to figure out which of the three doors the truth would be behind. He stood and went to the bathroom. When he walked out Henry was carrying the portable crib, “Good
evening Grandpa Henry.” Henry smiled, “Hey Maddox, how would you like to have a sleepover with your sister and I tonight?” “Sure,” Maddox smiled, “I’ll grab the cot, no need to disrupt Lexington.” Brody and Emma walked up the stairs and smiled, “Are you going back to bed?” “I’ll sleep in with Lexington and Henry if that is alright,” Maddox smiled shyly. “Alright,” Brody smiled, “Goodnight then.” Emma was changing when Brody walked into the room, “Did you forget something?” Brody took Emma’s robe out of her hand, “Maddox’s sleeping in Lexi’s room with Henry.” He stepped back and looked at her, “That means you and I have the room, to ourselves tonight.” Emma smiled as he pulled his shirt over his head and walked into the closet. Brody walked out with four scarves, “Shall we wrap you in silk, Em?” Her mouth immediately went dry, and she nodded her head yes, “Your eyes are sparkling Em.” Brody dropped his pants and lifted her, and she giggled. “Laughing at me is ill advised at the present time, but humor me — tell me what brings that sensual sound from that delectable mouth,” Brody traced her lips with his thumb and then his tongue. Emma moaned, “That erotic sound Em, what brought it from your lips?” “Brody on demand,” she smiled. “Hmm yes, all for you Em,” Brody raised her arms in the air and wrapped her wrists in silk scarves and placed her bound arms over his head. He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and immediately started rubbing herself against him, “Oh…ravenous girl, you must wait.” Brody ducked his head out of her arms and bit lightly on her nipple she moaned, and her legs tightened around him. “No, no Em, you must wait,” he whispered in her ear as he dropped her on the bed and swiftly spread her legs. He reached under the mattress for the rings they hadn’t used since he’d disappeared. Emma raised her foot and gently rubbed him, and he looked up at her and raised his eyebrow, “Em…” “It was begging to be touched,” Emma smiled. “Begging to be touched, huh?” He bit lightly on her pinky toe and she groaned. “Yes, begging to be…” Brody kissed her hard and pulled back. “Em, be quiet,” Brody warned. “Brody do me,” Emma giggled. Brody swiftly tied a scarf around her head she opened her mouth to object and he pulled it tighter, part of the scarf filled her mouth, and he tied the bow around the outside. He clenched his jaw and looked at her, his voice was deep, “Can you breathe?” She nodded her head yes quickly. “Are you afraid?” She shook her head no, “If you want me to stop let me know.” He tied her legs wide apart and licked his lips and closed his eyes. He moved up her body skimming it with his finger tips and straddled her head he tied her bound hands to the ring behind the headboard and looked down at her. He grabbed a hold of himself and rubbed across her face and across the bow covering her mouth. Emma began squirming beneath him and scowled, “Patience, love.” Brody used his mouth kissing and sucking down her body. Emma watched as he rubbed himself teasingly up and down her opening. “So wet Em, so hot, you need me to fill you, but I’m not ready I want to taste your hot wet…” he lifted her up and licked her savagely and she felt herself explode she screamed out, but the sound was muffled as he continued giving her pleasure. “Give it to me Em,” his growl vibrated against her and she came harshly, almost painfully.
“Fuck — that is so good,” he untied her legs and pushed into her. He untied her arms and draped them over his head as he pushed into her over and over again until he yelled into her neck, inaudible praise and curses. Brody lay beside he panting as he held her head tightly against his heart. “Em,” he started with a smile in his voice. “Please don't,” she whispered. “Damn it Em, I’m in awe of you,” Brody said through his teeth. “Apparently we are of you,” Emma covered her face with a pillow. Brody pulled the pillow away and smiled at her and laughed, “Who is we love?” Emma sat up and crossed her arms, “Me and whatever controls all that.” Brody laughed and hugged her, “We should name her something other than...” “Don't you dare,” Emma buried her head in his chest. “Amm... Sounds like yummy, and it sure as hell tastes that way. What do you think?” He kissed her. “I need a shower,” Emma stood up and threw a pillow at him. “I need to be in you again,” Brody followed her in the bathroom. *** “Good morning,” Emma kissed Brody and jumped out of bed. “It could be better Em. Get back in bed, I have something for you,” Brody flashed open the covers. “I have three kids to feed,” Emma smiled at him as she pulled her shirt over her head. “Ouch Em, that…ouch love,” Brody sat up and looked under the covers, “She doesn’t want you big guy.” Emma laughed, “Did you really just talk to your penis?” “Ouch again Em, that makes it sound so small,” Brody winced. “Well it’s definitely not,” she laughed. “That’s alright love, we forgive you,” Brody stood up and walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Emma stood next to him and did the same. He looked at Emma in the mirror and cocked his head to the side and winked. “Don’t,” she giggled. He did it again, “Brody, you don’t play fair,” Emma turned around and she went to her knees. “That will ensure I never do. Damn, Em,” he moaned. *** Emma and Caroline were baking with Maddox, Lexington, and London while Henry and Brody sat at the table drinking tea. “All of this started with your father’s death, we agree on that right?” Henry asked. “I do agree, yes,” Brody sat back. “Then Elizabeth and the hell you lived, Brody — I have a feeling whoever took her, and whoever had Maddox, they are trying to keep something quiet,” Henry looked at him. “They’re trying to ensure you don’t find something out. We just have to tie it up and feed it to the idiot police.” Clive walked in the room, “Brody the police are here, with a warrant.” “What the hell do they want now?” Brody stood up and walked to the foyer. “Brody Hines, you are under arrest for money laundering and conspiracy to commit murder against your ex-wife…” Detective Banks began. “I have no idea what this is about Banks, but this is BULLSHIT and you know it,” Brody growled as
Banks cuffed him, “My kids are here you piece of…” “Dad?” Maddox ran towards him and Banks stuck out his hand stopping him, “Emma!” Emma came out of the kitchen, “What is going on now?” “Keep them safe Em, Banks so help me God if anything happens to them, I will fucking kill you with my bare hands,” Brody yelled. “Dad!!” Maddox cried as they escorted Brody out the door. “Clive — call Eli. Dad, where are the girls?” Emma started walking towards the kitchen and grabbed Maddox’s hand, “It’ll be fine Maddox.” “Your mom has them upstairs, they saw nothing Princess. Maddox,” Henry hugged him tightly, “It’s going to be alright.” “I need to go, Dad,” Emma hugged him. “Please wait until we find out what is going on, you are going to go sit in the waiting room and get no more answers than you will later, Emma,” Henry pulled her into his arms. “Clive you need to go then, please,” Emma asked. “Henry we went over the security system, do you feel comfortable with this?” Clive asked. “Yes, go take care of whatever it is that needs to be done for Brody,” Henry waved him off. “I’m going to the office,” Henry kissed Emma and Maddox and walked away. “I’m going to my room,” Maddox started walking away “Please don’t Maddox, talk to me it’ll be fine,” Emma said as he continued to walk by, “Maddox, please.” Emma sat on the floor in the living room and cried as she rocked back and forth. Henry heard her cry and ran from the office, “Princess.” Emma let her father hold her, comforting her as he had when she was a child. She cried and couldn’t stop. “We’ll all get through this,” Henry whispered as he rocked her. “I know Daddy it just, I need to breathe, just breathe. So do they — all of them; Brody, Maddox, London, and Lexington,” Emma sat up and wiped her eyes. Henry consoled her for a long time. He wished she didn’t have to go through all of this. He had protected her for years and now everything he’d tried to shield her from was weighing on her shoulders and his heart. The phone rang, and Emma jumped and answered, “Hello.” “Em,” Brody whispered. “How bad is it, when can I see you?” Emma cried. “Please don’t cry love, Eli’s working on it. It looks really bad. London’s child is broke, and they think the fifty million dollars we’ve raised sits in some fucking account, Em. They think I took it. This news will more than likely break tomorrow, so get prepared.” Brody let out a breath waited for her to respond. “Emma are you there? Are you even fucking listening to me?” Brody snapped. “Of course, Brody, I’m just trying to process it all,” Emma sat on the ground. “While you do that, I also want to remind you that Rebecca with be there soon and I want to talk to her first thing in the morning and try to figure this all out alright Em?” Brody said in a much calmer tone. “When can I see you?” Emma asked softly. “Not soon enough,” he whispered softly. “Fine,” she consented. “No, Emma, in the morning. Get Rebecca settled, and the two of you come in the morning, alright love?” Brody’s voice broke. “Okay Brody please don’t, I need you to be strong,” Emma began to cry. “I need nothing but to know that you believe me, and love me Emma. Always and forever,” Brody
whispered. “Of course, Brody,” Emma cleared her throat, “Why did you even say that?” “When will enough be enough Em? When will you leave me like every…” Brody stopped. “I’m here always, I love you,” Emma tried to sound strong. “That’s my Em. Chat tomorrow?” Brody asked softly. “Yes talk to you tomorrow,” Emma hung up the phone “Is he alright Emma?” Henry asked. “I don’t know how he could be, Dad. Rebecca Hines will be here soon, I’ll go get her room ready,” Emma walked up the stairs. Maddox opened his door, “You were crying.” “I’m a bit overwhelmed,” Emma smiled, “But it’ll be alright Maddox.” “And you believe that; truly believe everything will be fine?” Maddox was angry. Emma looked at him, “I’m sorry about all this Maddox. We don’t want this for any of you…but yes Maddox, I believe it’ll be alright, it has to be.” Maddox closed his eyes, “Alright then.” Emma hugged him and walked down the hall. She was putting new sheets on the bed when Maddox walked in the room. “Let me help you,” he said sadly. “You don’t have to, I can do it,” Emma smiled. “I want to,” Maddox grabbed the others side of the sheet. *** Maddox was sitting on the couch with London. She was showing him the books she had on her ereader when Emma poked her head in the doorway, “Your aunt is pulling in.” London clapped and smiled at Maddox, “Come on!” Henry was carrying Rebecca’s bags in when they all walked in the foyer. “God Emma, I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever I can to help,” Rebecca hugged her tightly. “It’ll all work out, it has to,” Emma whispered. “Oh Miss London, look at you as beautiful as ever. I brought you this,” Rebecca handed her a large stuffed bear with a shirt that said, ‘I Love London.’ “Thank you so much,” London hugged her. Maddox stood by the door looking down, “And you must be Maddox?” “Yes and you're my aunt,” Maddox looked up slowly and stared at her for a moment and quickly looked away, “I’ll fetch Lexington.” “Wait, I want just a minute with you,” Rebecca walked up and hugged him tightly. Emma watched Maddox face tighten, and he didn’t breathe until she released him, “You look just like your father Maddox. I brought you something as well; well part of something the rest of the gift must pass customs.” Rebecca handed him a set of keys, “You’ll be sixteen soon correct?” “Yes but I can't accept…” Maddox started to hand her the keys back. “You can and you will,” Rebecca smiled, “Now where’s Lexington?” *** Maddox went to his room and grabbed his phone. Harper sent him a text. - At the cape, last week of freedom until we head back to school. I heard mention that your dad was in trouble again. I want you to know that I’m more
than sure things will work out. I know how strong you are to have lived through what you have. I’m truly happy to be able to call you friend....Your friend forever, Harper Maddox re-read it several times and shoved his phone in his pocket, he knew that she wouldn’t feel the same when she knew, truly knew his heart. He was angry and full of rage, a rage that needed to be released very soon. *** “Dinner was incredible, wasn’t it Maddox?” Rebecca asked. “Yes Emma and my grandmother are wonderful cooks,” Maddox wiped his mouth and stood, “London shall we do the dishes?” “I could help,” Rebecca offered. “No, we enjoy this, don’t we London?” Maddox took London’s hand. “We do now. I assume it’ll get old though. I miss Ann,” London scowled. “Ann was your housekeeper?” Rebecca asked following them with a few dirty dishes. “Yes,” London said softly. “Well when Brody’s back on his feet, and things have finally quieted down I am sure you’ll have another. Life will be back to normal very soon London. As long as …” Rebecca looked at Maddox, “Well, when things are quieted down.” Maddox looked up at her expressionless. Emma walked in behind them with more dishes and smiled, “It’ll be nice Maddox, you’ll see.” Maddox smiled softly at Emma as she dumped the silverware into the sink. Rebecca gasped, “Oh look Emma, a knife. We wouldn’t want the kids to cut themselves would we?” “No, of course not, sorry you two,” Emma smiled, “I seem to be off my game lately.” “That’s understandable, but I promise I’ll help you all get through this. It’ll all go away, and we can all be happy again,” Rebecca smiled at Maddox. Maddox helped Emma get the kids ready for bed, “London’s sleeping with Caroline again?” “She is,” Emma smiled, “I offered, but apparently Grandma reads stories better than I do.” “And Lexington? Will she sleep with Henry again?” Maddox asked softly. “Yes and you can too,” Emma smiled. “Who will protect you?” Maddox asked his face showing fear. “Maddox — I’ll be fine, we’re safe. I’m not afraid in our home,” Emma searched his face. “I’ll sleep on the cot in your room,” Maddox walked out of the room. Emma followed him, “Maddox that’s extremely thoughtful of you but…” “No, I’m sleeping on the cot in your room,” Maddox rolled the cot down the hall. Rebecca walked up the stairs, and Maddox stopped allowing her to pass. “What’s this?” Rebecca asked. “Maddox’s moving a cot into my room,” Emma smiled softly. “Why’s that?” Rebecca asked. “To protect Emma,” Maddox answered and walked past her rolling the cot. Emma smiled and whispered at Rebecca, “We’ll talk about it later.” *** Emma walked down the stairs, and Rebecca was waiting for her in the family room. “Sorry, it has been crazy around here,” Emma sat next to Rebecca, “They’ve all been through more than any kid should have to.”
“Maddox’s sleeping with you?” Rebecca asked. “It started when Brody was taken into custody the first time; they felt safer when we all slept in the same room. It was getting better. I assume him being gone again has brought back all those fears. Maddox feels I need to be protected so I’ll allow it,” Emma stood up, “Would you like some tea?” Rebecca followed her into the kitchen, “So you allow this?” “Yes of course. I want them to feel safe. We’ve ensured them that our home is their safe place. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure them of that,” Emma handed Rebecca a cup of tea. They sat quietly at the breakfast bar, and the phone rang. “Hello…yes this is Emma Hines…What? Is he alright?...Where are they taking him?...Can I be there?...Thank you,” Emma hung up the phone. “What’s happened?” Rebecca gasped, “Is it Brody?” “Yes, damn it – he’s been stabbed, they are taking him to the hospital, I have to go,” Emma grabbed her keys and sent Clive a message. “I should tell my parents,” Emma started towards the stairs. “I’ll go tell them. God Emma he has to be okay,” Rebecca hugged her. Clive was at the door, “Let's go, Emma.” *** Maddox walked into the room and sat on the cot. He pulled out his phone. - Sorry I haven’t returned your text. There are a few things you need to know. I have completed the puzzle Harper. I don’t know where this road will lead me. I do want you to know that I value every moment we’ve shared, but it won’t probably happen again. I’m not good at keeping promises. It’s necessary now, to forget you ever knew me. Maddox sent the text and Rebecca knocked lightly on the door. Maddox took a deep breath and stood up. “We need to talk Maddox,” Rebecca walked towards him. “We should go downstairs,” Maddox asked his heart beating faster. “You first,” Rebecca smiled. *** Maddox stood by the counter, “I know who you are.” “I thought you may have,” Rebecca stood across from him. “Why are you doing this to him?” Maddox asked. “He was getting in the way,” Rebecca’s eyes were frigid. “You’ll be exposed, you know that, right?” Maddox looked at her. “Oh I don’t think so Maddox,” Rebecca’s laugh was dangerous. “Was London’s Child a cover?” Maddox asked. “My brothers’ brain child just made it easier and much more profitable,” Rebecca answered, “Maddox you could keep your mouth shut about all of this and enjoy what it will bring to you. More than you could ever imagine.” “Really? Do tell me more,” Maddox sat on the counter. “I will not be a problem for you Maddox. You’ve kept your mouth shut for hours now. I think I can trust you NOT to expose me, can't I?” Rebecca asked. “You’ll leave them alone?” Maddox asked.
“I will.” Rebecca answered, “But you need to go with me, when the time is right of course.” “All those people that have died? Do you think that won't be discovered?” Maddox asked as he got off the counter and went to the refrigerator. “I killed no one. Your mother did Maddox,” Rebecca answered. “Troy and your father?” Maddox asked as he poured a glass of milk. “Troy yes, my father was crazy, and I needed to protect you,” Rebecca answered. “How’s killing him protecting me?” Maddox asked and took a drink. “All in good time. Maddox, it means you’ll have the means to do everything you’ve ever dreamed,” Rebecca smiled. “Ann and Rupert, Ariel?” Maddox asked. “I have people everywhere,” Rebecca smiled, “They can keep you safe and well fed. You’ll never be hungry again.” “Is that what happened to you Aunt Rebecca? Were you hungry?” Maddox asked with concern in his eyes. “I will never be hungry again,” Rebecca answered. “These people, is Detective Banks on of them?” Maddox asked. “One of many, Rupert and Ann were as well, Maddox. They kept your sisters and Emma safe until their deaths,” Rebecca answered. “Why? I don’t understand,” Maddox asked. “Emma and your sisters knew nothing, they weren’t a threat, I’m not evil Maddox,” Rebecca laughed. “So why did Rupert and Ann die?” Maddox asked. “They tried to get out. Once you’re in this you’re in it. They got too close. I know I won’t have that issue with you Maddox; you’re as cold as I am. A quality that I admire, the ability to stay focused, the ability to know when to stay quiet and do what needs to be done to protect those you love,” Rebecca smiled. “And how did you come to the conclusion that I’m like that?” Maddox asked. “You watched abuse for years and allowed it, in order to stay safe. When you felt pain or rage you took care of it yourself, you’re a cutter right?” Rebecca asked. Maddox felt his anger begin to build, “Did you try to kill us? The car explosion was that you?” “No, it was the good detective’s idea,” Rebecca laughed. “But you allowed it?” Maddox snapped. “Hush now Maddox there are four people in this house that don’t need to be aware of all this. And just so you know the security system is shut down for the time being,” Rebecca stepped towards him. “Stay away,” Maddox stepped back. “Or what, Maddox?” Rebecca asked. “I will kill you,” Maddox growled he reached in his pocket and fumbled for the knife he had taken from the kitchen earlier. Rebecca stopped and grabbed the gun from her pocket, “Perfect — now I’m going to tell you EXACTLY what you are going to do.” “I’m not afraid anymore,” Maddox growled.
CHAPTER EIGHT Emma sat next to Brody rubbing his hand, “Em, I’m fine really I am. You should go home love.” “I don’t want to leave you Brody,” Emma forced back her pending tears. “I don’t want you to either, but I’ll be fine here,” Brody tried to sit up and winced. “You could have died, Brody,” Emma rested her head against his. “Takes a lot more than a shank to the groin, they weren’t trying to kill me. Actually he called me a pervert and said he’d watched my films Em,” Brody laughed, “I think he was a fan.” “It’s not funny, I would have died,” Emma started. “I was thinking of that as well, ‘what would Emma do without my’…” “Brody, it’s not funny,” Emma smiled. “I don’t think it’s funny at all. I would have been pissed off,” Brody smiled, “Go home Em, I’m going to be here for two days. Bring the kids in the morning, I won't be in orange.” “Maddox said he wanted to come with me, he is SO off tonight, actually pulled a cot in our room and demanded he sleep in there to protect me,” Emma was confused and concerned. “He’s scared,” Brody closed his eyes. “I don’t know Brody — something changed. He doesn’t seem scared. He seems…angrier,” Emma said softly. Her phone vibrated, and she looked at it. “Who is it?” Brody asked. “Tessa. I assume they heard about you being in jail again, I’ll call her back,” Emma leaned over and kissed him, “I will be right back?” “Go home Em, before I need you,” Brody winked. “Not fair Music Man,” Emma smiled. “Amme,” he bit his lip, “Oh Em, Go NOW!” Emma smiled, “I love you.” *** Emma walked into the hall and dialed Tessa. “Emma, God Emma, where are you?” Tessa asked. “At the hospital with Clive, Brody was stabbed, but he is…” “Emma who’s with the kids?” Tessa yelled. Emma covered the phone, “Clive go chat with Brody I will be right here.” “Tessa my parents and …”Emma started. “Rebecca, Emma get home now! It’s Rebecca oh my God, she’s with them alone,” Tessa voice was full of terror. Emma ran out into the street and hailed a cab, “Tessa I’m on my way, what the FUCK is going on?” “Harper got a text, and she was worried enough to talk me about it while we were talking another came through. He reordered everything and somehow sent it. Emma he’s in danger — they all are,” Tessa’s voice shook. “I’m three minutes from home, in a cab; you need to call Clive the police, DAMN IT!” Emma yelled. “You can't just barge in there Emma, she has a gun,” Tessa was starting to panic. “So do I. Tessa, if something happens to me, take care of them for me please,” Emma said quietly. “You can't just go in without back up…” Tessa began.
“What choice do I have? This ends tonight Tessa. Come for dinner tomorrow?” Emma joked. “Lots of fucking drinks,” Tessa tried to joke. “Yep I agree,” Emma said softly, “Tessa I’m here, talk to you soon?” “As soon as you can, Emma the police are on their way,” Tessa said, “I can tell you to wait, but I know I wouldn’t be able to.” Emma hung up and took a deep breath. She handed the cab driver money. “Here?” he asked confused looking around. “Yes, thank you,” Emma jumped out and ran through the woods toward the tunnel entrance. *** “You won't get away with this,” Maddox whispered. “I will, because my little cutter nephew is going to kill himself. Unable to deal with all the stress, such a tragedy,” Rebecca said in mock sadness. “I lived fifteen years of hell. Do you truly think anyone would buy that?” Maddox laughed. “You want to protect all those people upstairs, don’t you? Your life for theirs, Maddox. A very noble end — wouldn’t you say?” Rebecca rounded the counter. “You’ll leave them alone?” Maddox asked. Rebecca stopped and looked at him curiously, “If you agree to this, then yes.” “Then we need to make it look good right?” Maddox asked buying time trying to configure a plan. “Yes, plan is you die — they don’t,” Rebecca stepped towards him. “Do you think I actually trust your word? Rebecca do you know why my father was arrested this evening?” Maddox laughed at her. “Devine intervention,” Rebecca lunged at him, and he thrust the knife at her, “Not a fighter, that’s a shame.” Maddox ran towards the door and outside. “Stop or I blow your ass away and go upstairs and finish the others off Maddox!” Rebecca screamed. Maddox stopped and turned to her, “Embezzlement Rebecca! When they figure it out, your finger prints will be all over it!” “Oh Maddox — I’m much smarter than you give me credit for,” Rebecca laughed. “So am I,” Maddox yelled. “No one can hear you out here Maddox,” Rebecca sneered. “Not true,” Maddox looked up and saw Emma holding a gun behind Rebecca. Rebecca turned towards her voice and pointed the gun at Emma, “Then you first.” Maddox dove on Rebecca and shoved the knife into her shoulder. Rebecca yelled out in pain and turned and shot at him. Emma watched as Maddox fell to the ground, “NO!” Emma ran towards Maddox and grabbed his head, “Oh, God NO!” She heard a click and looked up, and Rebecca sat up and pointed the gun at her holding her wounded arm with the other as she shook in pain, “You stupid bitch.” Emma pointed her gun and shot Rebecca repeatedly until her gun was empty. Henry ran out of the house towards Emma. “Call an ambulance!” Emma cried as she held Maddox in her arms rocking him back and forth. Clive drove onto the lawn and jumped out of the car and screamed at Emma, “Don’t you EVER take off again like that!” Maddox looked up at Emma, “Is she gone?” “God I hope so,” she rocked him and hugged him.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly. “I am, and you’re going to be fine to Maddox,” Emma cried. Henry stood next to her and watched her shaking. “She messed with the security system. Are the girls okay? “ Maddox asked sadly. “Yes Maddox, because of you they are. Please beautiful boy save your strength. We’re going to have a long night,” Emma kissed his head. “Double O Mom,” he smiled and closed his eyes. “Clive fix it! Dad, tell me where the girls are,” Emma demanded. “On it,” Clive ran into the house Henry behind him. Emma watched as the police ran from their cars, their guns in hand. “Is Banks with you?” Emma screamed. “No ma’am, we received a call and a voice recording, he is in custody,” he squatted next to Emma, “Let me check him out ma’am.” “Is she dead?” Emma snapped. “Yes ma’am,” he looked at her. “Her gun is under her, she shot him,” Emma’s voice began to shake, “Mine is here.” The officer smiled at her, “You're going to be okay, Emma.” “How can you say that? How will we ever be okay?” Emma cried softly. “This young man unraveled this entire case. You just killed the woman behind it all. You’re safe,” he rubbed her shoulder. The paramedics loaded Maddox on the stretcher and Emma held his hand. “Your girls and mother slept through all of it Emma,” Henry kissed her cheek. “I’m going with him,” Emma smiled, “Keep them safe Daddy. Clive is the security system back online?” “Maddox, be strong,” Henry’s face tensed up as he turned and walked away. “The outside is, I just have to replace a few wires,” Clive looked apologetically at her. “Stay here with them. Can you try to clean this mess up, hose down the yard? I don’t want them to see,” Emma shook. “I should go with you,” Clive scowled. “No, I need you to stay here,” Emma insisted as she climbed in the ambulance. Henry put his hand on Clive’s shoulder stopping him from following her, “Did you see Rebecca?” Clive nodded his head yes. “Then I would not mess with my girl,” Henry smiled at Clive, “Let’s clean this up.” *** Emma walked into the hospital, never letting go of Maddox’s hand, she turned to the officer at the desk, “Get my husband NOW!” “Ma’am he’s in police custody…” “I fucking said now you untrustworthy, incapable, fucking idiots!” Emma screamed. Maddox laughed and opened his eyes. “That was not right of me to say Maddox. I’m sorry,” Emma kissed his head as they walked down the hallway towards the elevators. “Mr. Hines, get back in there, or I will cuff you,” the officer warned. Emma turned around, “Brody!” “Touch me — and I will fuck you up!” Brody snapped as he pushed the officer. “Hines you just assaulted an officer, yet another charge to add…” the uniformed officer began. “At least that one will be true!” Brody snapped.
Dr. Green walked through the door with a wheelchair, “Step aside, this man needs medical assistance. Let’s go Brody.” Brody laughed and sat in the chair, “Why thank you Doctor.” “And you’ll be an accessory!” The officer snapped. “Go screw yourself,” Dr. Green laughed as she ran down the hall pushing Brody, “Hold that elevator.” Dr. Green pulled the blanket off Maddox and smiled at him, “Nice to see you again, Maddox.” “Hey Maddox,” Brody stood and grabbed his hand. “Hey Dad,” Maddox smiled. “You okay?” Brody smiled. “I will be now,” Maddox smiled at Emma who smiled back. “Alright Maddox you have a gunshot wound to the left shoulder,” Dr. Green glanced at the OR nurse to ensure she was taking notes, “No exit wound, so we are going to need to get you into surgery after we take a few pictures okay?” Maddox looked scared, “It will be fine, son.” “Dad — I don’t think I can do this,” Maddox tensed up. “Well lucky for you, you don’t have to do anything, you’re not a doctor yet,” Brody smiled. “Will you be in there with me?” He looked at Emma. “I’m not sure,” Emma smiled. “Can Dad…” Maddox stopped and closed his eyes. “Listen Maddox, I’m not a surgeon but I’ll go in and won’t leave until your Mom or Dad take my place. We need to get this bullet out of you okay?” Dr. Green smiled. “Yes,” Maddox whispered. “His blood pressure is dropping, the bullet may be moving,” the door opened, “Get him in there now!” “I love you Maddox!” Brody yelled as they rushed him into the OR. “Brody you need to sit down,” Emma said her eyes filled with tears. “What the fuck happened, Em?” Brody yelled. “Your sister, she’s the one behind this. Brody she’s dead. She shot Maddox…” Emma started to shake. “Rebecca?” Brody gasped. “Yes and I…I killed her,” Emma cried, and Brody sat down and held his hands in his hair. A nurse stepped into the waiting room, “The x- rays show that the bullet is slowly moving towards his heart, Dr. Green wants you to know that she is hopeful the OR team will fix it quickly, just sit tight okay?” “Thank you,” Brody stood up and paced back and forth. Emma stood up and walked past him out the door. “Eli, this is Emma, I’m going to send you a voice mail that will make this easier, but Brody needs to be released. Call my father, one of his judge friends may be able to help. Maddox has been shot and is in surgery now. I shot and killed Brody’s sister Rebecca at our home about an hour ago,” Emma took a deep breath, “She’s responsible for all of this.” Emma stood in the hallway awaiting information. An officer was now standing guard in front of the waiting room door. Brody came to the door and watched Emma leaning against the wall. “Could you please get my wife?” He asked the officer. Emma walked in the room and looked up sadly at Brody, “I’m sorry I shot her.” Brody sat down, “Emma, was there a choice?” She didn’t answer, and when he looked up he saw how angry she was, “Emma …” “Was there a choice Brody? Do I truly need to explain that to you? Your son is in surgery because she shot him, she killed…she was working with Banks, you were stabbed because of it, was there a choice?
You have some nerve…” Emma started to walk out, and he grabbed her. “That’s not at all what I meant Em, come on, please …please…” Brody started to fall. Emma grabbed him unable to bear his complete weight she eased down to the ground. “I need some help in here!” Emma screamed. The uniformed officer ran in the room, “Not YOU! Get a nurse!” Emma saw Brody’s gown was blood soaked. She pulled it aside and applied pressure to the wound that was gushing with blood. The room filled with nurses, and she moved back to give them room to work. “We should have knocked him out and done this earlier, damn it, get an OR opened now!” one of the nurses yelled. Brody’s eyes fluttered and opened, “Em is he okay?” “Yes, Brody they’re taking you into surgery,” Emma wiped tears from her face, “You have to be alright too, I love you.” “I love you more Em,” Brody’s eyes closed. Emma sat in the waiting room willing herself to stay calm. She chanted over and over in her head, everything’s going to be fine; everything’s going to be fine. “Emma,” a nurse walked in and handed her a bottle of water, “Maddox is in recovery.” “Is he okay?” Emma stood, “Can I see him?” “In about half an hour we’re going to try to wake him, he’s doing great. Dr. Green hasn’t left his side. They removed the bullet and patched him up, he needed some blood, and he’s going to be back to normal in a few days.” “I need to be in there when you try to wake him and just so you know, no is not an option,” the nurse smiled and nodded her head, “And Brody? How is Brody?” “They’re trying to repair the artery that was wounded. We did strongly urge him to have the surgery when we first got the results, but he refused,” she smiled and shook her head. “A man thing I assume.” Emma looked confused, “I don’t understand? I thought he just had to have a few stitches.” She looked at Emma, “Your husband’s wound was extremely deep; it hit an artery and a few nerves. He was told that this could happen but chose to wait to see if things would start to heal itself overnight. The body is a wonderful thing it sometimes happens. Apparently he felt the risk was worth it.” “Bleeding to death was worth waiting?” Emma snapped. “No, hoping the nerves repaired themselves avoiding the possibilities of long term or permanent damage Mrs. Hines.” “Permanent damage where?” Emma was confused. The nurse widened her eyes. Emma gasped, “Oh, oh wow. So he risked…” “I told you it was a man thing,” the nurse looked down at her pager. “Your son appears to be waking up.” *** Emma sat holding Maddox’s hand and his eyes fluttered, “Mom?” “I’m here Maddox,” Emma kissed his forehead. “Where’s Dad?” Maddox asked, “I need a drink, my throat’s so sore.” Emma pushed the call button, “They intubated you, which means…” “They shoved a tube down my throat,” Maddox tried to smile. “I read a lot.” “Medical books?” Emma asked. “Medical, parenting, survival, and music,” Maddox coughed, and Emma pushed the button again, “How did you get there so fast?”
“Tessa called me,” Emma smiled. “Why?” Maddox asked rubbing his chest, “Is Harper alright?” “You sent her the recording of Rebecca’s confession,” Emma laughed. “Smart move on your part.” “I sent it to 911,” Maddox winced as he sat up. “No, you sent it to Harper,” Emma said helping him lay back down. “No, that wasn’t my intention, damn it!” Maddox snapped. “Well after everything that’s come to light, I’m grateful it was her and not them,” Emma smiled. Dr. Green walked in and smiled, “I have a popsicle for my favorite patient.” “Flavored ice,” Emma smiled at Maddox. “You did excellent Maddox,” Dr. Green took his hand and he looked up at her. “Did you see my heart?” He asked curiously. “Biggest one I’ve ever seen,” she sat next to him. Maddox chuckled, “Strong too?” “Biggest and strongest, when you’re feeling better, I’ll show you a picture,” she smiled. “You really took a picture of my heart?” Maddox face beamed. “I really did, just don’t tell on me. Emma you don’t either, got it?” Dr. Green smiled. “I would never,” Emma smiled. “You need to rest Maddox, you have an incision that needs to heal,” Dr. Green patted his head, “Your Dad will be out in about an hour, things are going well with him to. So if, you sleep for two hours when you wake up, I’ll pull a few strings to make sure he’s right next to you. And then a private room for you to share after that.” “Thank you Doctor, thank you very much,” Maddox smiled sincerely. “Yes, thank you,” Emma stood and hugged her tightly. Maddox ate his Popsicle, “I like it.” “They are pretty good,” Emma smiled. “You...Mom...are pretty awesome, I love you, and I trust you. You saved my life,” Maddox squeezed her hand. “Same goes for me Maddox; I love and trust you as well. You saved all of our lives,” Emma hugged him gently. “I think I’m tired,” Maddox yawned. “I am not going anywhere,” Emma pulled a chair close to his bed and held his hand as he fell asleep. *** Emma sat up when she heard the stretcher coming closer “Is my son…” “Mr. Hines your son is fine he’s resting, and his surgery went wonderfully,” a male nurse explained. “Where’s my wife?” he slurred. “With your son,” the nurse answered. “Is she aware of our possible problem?” He said slowly trying to articulate. “Yes,” someone answered. “Wonderful, she’s not going to like this at all,” he slurred loudly. “Literally that is the only thing she cannot do for herself, I am so fucked…or not.” “Mr. Hines you should rest,” someone suggested. “No, let's start therapy,” he laughed, “go fetch Em would you, she needs to come check it out. You didn’t remove any of it did you?” “No, you’re all intact Mr. Hines but you should know…” “Oh fetch my wife; I need to know nothing more than if this limp noodle will rise again,” Brody laughed, “That’s a fabulous song title.”
“We need to give him something to knock him out,” one of the nurses chuckled. “I need to see my wife’s tits, they are beautiful...perfect. She has an itty bitty scar on one; she was so ashamed of it. I must say it’s what I love the most tracing my tongue…” Brody started. The curtain between the two separated, “Brody, glad you’re alright but Maddox is trying to rest and …” “Em, love, do you know what rest rhymes with rest?” Brody laughed loudly. “Dad?” Maddox woke up. “No, it doesn’t rhyme with Dad,” he grinned, “Em, are you angry with me?” “No Brody, Maddox was resting, see right next to you, your son, right here…” “Maddox — we made it son!” Brody laughed. “Well yes. One of us made it with our minds still in working order,” Maddox laughed. “Oh, let's hope that my mind is the only thing not working son, did you know…” “Brody, please sleep,” Emma tried not to laugh as the nurse pushed medication into his IV. “Oh Em that smile always did do…things…” Brody passed out. “What was he talking about?” Maddox laughed. “It doesn’t matter Maddox. I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson here today,” Emma smiled. Maddox looked confused. “Drugs are not our friends,” Emma giggled. *** Emma sat in the room they had been moved into. Neither Maddox nor Brody woke during the transfer. Nurses came in often and finally Brody woke as one poked at his incision. He was annoyed. He looked around confused, “What time is it, I feel like I slept forever?” Emma stood up and kissed his head softly, “Almost three in the morning.” “Maddox?” He whispered and Emma pointed to him sleeping. “He’s doing amazing. He seems very happy, like a brick has been lifted,” Emma said and looked down. “Emma, you saved his life,” Brody kissed her hand. “He saved ours. He and I had that conversation earlier,” Emma looked at him. “You did what you had to do Em. I’m very proud of you, pissed that you left here like you did with no fucking backup, certainly pissed,” Brody sat up and scrunched his eyes in pain. “Well just so you know, I’m pretty pissed at you as well, Brody Hines,” Emma looked down, “You didn’t tell me, actually you lied to me.” “How do I have that conversation with you in the ten fucking minutes we had together?” Brody hissed. Emma looked up at him and shook her head, “Do you need anything?” “Yes, answers. You got any?” Brody glared at her. “Get some sleep Brody,” Emma kissed his head and sat down and closed her eyes. “You should go home,” Brody whispered. Emma looked at him sadly, “I’m sorry that all this has happened Brody. Please stop treating me like this.” “You look tired, you should get some sleep and you’re not going to get any in that chair Emma,” Brody looked down. “I don’t want him to be upset if he wakes up,” Emma said softly. “I’m his father and I’m here,” Brody sounded annoyed. Emma stood and walked out of the room and called Clive, “Hey would you mind coming to the hospital? Brody doesn’t want me here. I don’t feel alright with leaving them alone, not yet anyway.” Emma walked back in the room, and Maddox sat up, “I thought you left.”
“No Maddox, but your Dad’s here and Clive’s on his way,” Emma hugged him and he hugged her back tightly. “You need to sleep?” Maddox asked. “I’m going home so when your sisters wake up I’m there. Then we’ll all come back and visit you and find out when we can spring you from this place,” Emma smiled, “What would you like as a recovery gift?” “I just want a happy life, and I’m pretty sure I already have that,” Maddox smiled. “I’ll make sure of it. I love you,” Emma smiled. “Is he asleep?” Maddox asked. “I think so,” Emma smiled. “Did he wake up acting crazy again?” Maddox laughed. “No, just sore and probably a bit sad. But he was very happy that you’re okay and that you figured this all out Maddox. We’re both so proud of you and so very grateful to have you as a son, and a brother to the girls. Our family is now complete,” Emma hugged him lightly, “Are you sore, Maddox?” “A little, but I’m really hungry,” Maddox smiled. “What would you like?” Emma giggled. “Food, maybe another popsicle. I’ve never had fast food,” Maddox hinted. “It’s greasy, might be hard on your stomach,” Emma smiled and sent a text, “It’s been years since I have had a big, greasy burger. Let's do it.” “I have to use the bathroom,” Maddox said quietly. “Pee?” Emma asked. “Yes,” Maddox blushed. “Here you go in this,” Emma handed him a bed pan. Maddox looked confused. “They have to measure your urine output. Crazy we say no about urinating in objects other than the toilet but they say yes,” Emma laughed, “I’ll take care of it when you’re done.” Emma walked into the hall and responded to several text messages. “I’m done,” Maddox whispered loudly. Brody sat up, “You’re awake?” “Yes,” Maddox smiled, “Mom’s going to sneak in fast food.” “That was a secret,” Emma smiled as she walked in, “But first I have to take care of pee.” “Thanks Mom,” Maddox laughed. Brody looked at Emma sadly, “Don’t pout Brody, I ordered you some too.” “Thanks Emma,” Brody smiled and looked down. “How are you feeling?” Emma asked. “Been better and worse so all is well, right Maddox?” Brody looked at him. “All is definitely well,” Maddox smiled. Clive walked in with the food and handed it to Emma, “This will definitely help with the constipation caused by any medications they get.” Emma laughed, and Clive laughed too. Emma kissed Maddox and Brody, “I’ll see you two later alright.” “Where are you going, Em?” Brody asked between bites. Emma smiled and raised her eyebrows, “Home.” “Why?” Brody asked. Emma looked at him and whispered in his ear, “You wanted me to leave Brody, and I am.” Emma kissed him quickly and turned to Maddox, “I will charge your phone and bring it back. Love you both and see you soon. Clive, the keys please.”
“You’re driving?” Brody cringed. “Yes,” Emma grabbed the keys and left.
CHAPTER NINE “It’s good isn’t it?” Maddox asked Brody. “I’m just not hungry,” Brody tried to smile. “She’s going to be okay Dad. This is over now,” Maddox smiled. “When she brings the phone, I’ll let you listen to the conversation. Rebecca was behind it all.” Maddox said and took his last bite. “I’m very proud of you; I just wish you had told me, Maddox. You could’ve died…you all could have died.” Brody let out a slow long breath. “She was paying Banks; she made sure you were set up. I’m sure he made sure you were hurt, you could have died too, but we are all okay.” Maddox looked at him. “Yes we are. Clive please make sure she made it home, call her now please,” Brody ordered. Brody was angry. He was trying to hide it from Maddox. He had been through enough, and Brody wanted to make sure he didn’t feel it was his fault. “She is home and fine,” Clive said as he walked in the room. “Alright Maddox, now I am HUNGRY,” Brody smiled. “Don’t tell London about this.” “I won’t,” Maddox laughed and took the half Brody handed him. *** Emma laid in bed watching the clock, but she couldn’t sleep. She needed to talk to Eli to see if the charges had been dropped. She needed to speak to the doctors to find out when Brody and Maddox could come home. Emma sat up and made a list of things she needed to get done. Including contacting the school to set up testing for Maddox to let them know where he should be placed when he started school. She looked at the calendar and remembered this was normally the week she took London on vacation. It would also mark two years that she had known Brody. Emma sat back and took a deep breath and exhaled. She looked out the window, and the sun was finally peeking over the horizon, which also reminded her of Brody and sex, and then Brody and no sex. Emma walked down the hall and stripped Maddox’s bed to wash the sheets and bedding. She folded the clothes that were in the dryer and put them away and went downstairs and cut up fruit. Maddox’s phone was on the island, and she played the voice recording over and over again. Emma looked out the window to where she had shot and killed another human being, Brody’s sister. Emma walked out the door with a bucket of water and bleach and searched until she found what she knew was blood. Clive and Henry had done a good job cleaning up; the ground was still damp and soft. Emma sat the bucket down and went into the garage and found a hoe. She dragged the hoe lightly across the spot where Rebecca had died. As the sun shown brighter in the early morning she saw the outline of her body. Emma dug violently at the ground until she heard a voice from behind her. She picked up the bleach water and dumped it and continued to dig. Henry grabbed her and held her as she cried, “Princess, I’m so sorry.” Emma clung to him and sobbed as he rubbed her back. “It’s going to be okay now, you had no choice. You’re so strong Emma…” Henry’s soothing words continued as she cried. “I need a tissue,” Emma pulled away and wiped her nose on her sleeve. She knelt in the dirt and mud mixture, “Sorry, I’m so sorry.” “Emma, your husband is on the phone. You need a tissue, a shower, and some sleep. Your daughter’s
are still asleep, but you need some time to pull it together…” Henry stopped when she did not respond. “Emma, the telephone is for you.” Henry pulled her up. “Daddy are they okay?” She asked in a weak whisper. “Yes, he just…” Henry stopped. “Tell him I’ll call him back.” Emma walked to the garage with the hoe and bucket. “Brody she’ll call you back,” Henry said and hung up the phone. Henry followed her into the house and ran bathwater in the master bathroom. “Thank you,” Emma said looking through him. “I’ll give you some time Princess.” Henry kissed her head and shut the door behind him. Emma stood at the sink and scrubbed her nails and looked up at her dirty reflection in the mirror. She took a deep breath. Emma lay in the bathtub soaking and concentrating on breathing. The water was brown when she stood and stepped into the shower and washed her hair, shaved her legs, and stepped out. Emma sprayed the tub clean and stood at the mirror again. She opened the drawer and grabbed the scissors and set them on the counter. She combed her hair, put it in a ponytail. Emma pulled her hair up and cut three inches off. “Emma what are you doing?” Caroline asked as she walked into the bathroom. “Cutting my hair,” Emma said and brushed it out. She pulled it back into a ponytail and lifted it again and picked up the scissors. “Emma stop,” Caroline took her hand. “I haven’t had a hair cut in a long time.” Emma looked at her mother. “Then we’ll go get one Emma,” Caroline hugged her. “I can’t go out Mom, not after what I have done,” Emma whispered. “Emma you protected Maddox and the rest of us,” Caroline’s eyes grew damp. “You had no choice.” “Fine, but I want to cut my hair. That’s a choice I can make,” Emma said and cut two more inches. “Okay now sit, and I will fix it.” Caroline took the scissors. “I want highlights, Mom can you go to the store, I want to do it now…” Emma looked up still appearing to be in a daze. “Emma, you should call Brody. He has good news.” Caroline hugged her. “He hates me Mom,” Emma swallowed hard. “He asked me to leave last night.” “He doesn’t hate you Emma.” Caroline hugged her tighter. “He hates me,” Emma whispered and began to cry. “What color would you like?” Caroline asked wiping her eyes. Emma looked down. “I have no idea.” “Okay Emma, so you wait so that we don’t make an even bigger mess.” Caroline looked at Emma’s hair and shook her head. Emma watched her try to figure out what to do with it. She blinked her eyes and let out a breath. “Is it a mess Mom?” “Well…yes,” Caroline laughed. Emma smiled, “Then could you braid it?” “I can try, but you just chopped five inches off your hair Emma,” Caroline smiled and let out a breath. “Okay — I can put it in a ponytail,” Emma started to stand. “Oh hell no,” Caroline pushed her down. Emma laughed, “I cut my hair.” “Yes and the more I look at it you actually did a good job layering it, was that what you were trying to do?” Caroline asked. “No,” Emma smiled. “Okay I’m going to French braid it to the side— that should hide some of the…imperfections. I’ll call
Carlos, and he’ll be here tonight. Don’t do that again Emma, you have beautiful hair.” Caroline worked hard and tried to make it look presentable. “Okay I’ll do London’s the same, get dressed Emma. Pull that strength you’ve had for months out of wherever it went and get ready. The girls are eating, and we need to go to the hospital.” Caroline kissed her and walked out. *** They all walked into the hospital room. London was aware that Brody and Maddox had been hurt. Henry had talked to Brody and told him that Emma didn’t want her to know anything about Rebecca until everyone was under the same roof again. London walked quickly up to Brody and kissed him. “You’ll have to give it to me straight later, alright Daddio?” Brody kissed her, “Sure thing London.” Emma sat next to Maddox. He told her what the doctors had said. That as long as he didn’t lift anything he would be released at the same time as Brody, the next day. She hugged him and kissed him. “That is perfect,” Emma smiled at him. Caroline handed Lexington to Brody. He held her and chatted with her as she tried to pull out his IV, and was fascinated by all the machines and lights. The room fell quiet, “Hey Em?” “Hey Brody,” Emma waved. “Take me for a walk?” Brody asked. “I’ll talk to the doctor to make sure it’s alright.” Emma started for the door. “I have a wheelchair,” Brody said loudly, stopping her. Emma turned around and walked back. She put the chair in front of the bed, and he sat in it and wheeled it back and turned around. Emma took the handles and walked to the door. “Clive, you should take off, here are the keys.” “Thank you,” Clive eyes showed concern. “There is a small waiting room up here on the left Em. I would like to go in and chat with you,” Brody looked up at her. Emma held the door open as he wheeled himself in. Brody stood, walked to the couch, and sat. “Sit Emma.” Brody patted the spot next to him. Emma hesitated for a minute and sat. “Em are you okay?” Brody whispered and took her hand. “Yes I am.” Her eyes stayed fixed on the tiled floor. “I heard you this morning, early this morning. I talked to your father, Emma. Please don’t shut me out.” Brody tried to hug her. Emma scowled and sat back. “You hate me.” “Emma we went through this earlier and you know…” Brody began. “And you asked that I go home, not stay here, not even a call. Clive called for you. I understand completely how you feel. I can promise you I’m angry at myself. I killed her Brody, I shot her, I emptied the gun, and I couldn’t stop!” Emma yelled, “I just kept shooting. I wanted her dead, a human being, and your sister!” There was a knock at the door. Dr. Green walked in, “Sorry to interrupt, is everything alright?” Brody looked up, “It will be.” “Tomorrow morning we can discharge you both. I’ll be stopping by to check you out for a couple days, and if everything is alright Maddox can start school on time,” Dr. Green smiled.
Emma stood and hugged her. “Thank you, for everything.” Dr. Green returned her hug, smiled, and left them alone. Emma grabbed the wheel chair. “You ready?” “No, Emma and neither are you, sit please.” Brody closed his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Emma looked up at the fluorescent lights. “Sit anyway,” Brody insisted. “I don’t want to. I want to get back to the kids,” Emma said softly. “I’m sorry if I hurt you Emma.” Brody stood and winced. Emma looked at him. “We can do this a different time, Brody. You should sit and let me take you back.” “No! Damn it Em, I was fucked up on pain meds. I was stabbed and locked up and then my entire family could have died! Em, you almost died! I would have shot the bitch until she looked like fucking Swiss cheese Em, but I couldn’t protect MY FUCKING FAMILY! My wife had to fucking do it! The person I promised a happy life, I let you down, again! And then there’s this fucking train wreck,” he pointed to his lower half. “What happens Em, if I can’t make you…” “Brody shh, please. This has nothing to do with sex if that doesn’t work any…” Emma sat next to him. “Our life has a lot to do with sex Em. You even came in here with fuck me hair today, all fucking tied up…” Brody snapped. “It’s a French braid Brody — you ass, it’s not ‘fuck me’ hair. What the hell is…” Emma stopped when she heard a knock. “Sorry to interrupt again Brody and Emma. We need to talk about what’s going on with your wound.” Dr. Green sat down. “So Brody has some stitches that will take about a week to heal properly, it's very important that well, it is allowed time to heal.” “Sorry Doctor but if this is about my lovely videos…” Brody was angry. “Well not really, it’s more about what you were saying in recovery and that it could lead to possibly popping a stitch. I’m sure that you both hope that everything heals as quickly as possible. You also need to let us know when your sensation returns. Alright I think that’s it, oh one more thing, you should try to keep it down in here,” Dr. Green walked out. “What could I have possibly said in recovery?” Brody snapped. Emma looked down avoiding eye contact. “Okay where were we?” Brody asked, “Oh yes, fuck me hair.” “I don’t want to talk about it, we should get back.” Emma stood. “No! Damn it Emma,” Brody stood to grab her. “Fuck Em.” He sat down quickly and clenched his jaw. “Brody see you can’t get all upset okay?” Emma knelt down. “My kid got fucking shot, my wife went all bad ass, and I got stabbed particularly close to my fucking manhood Em. That’s all I have left because you really don’t need my pathetic ass for anything else and you come here after…saving the fucking world. Having some sort of psychotic breakdown that I wasn’t able to help you through. And you won’t even talk to me about it, with two beautiful little angels making Maddox smile like he’s meeting the fucking Queen with FUCK ME HAIR, EM!” Brody snapped. “I cut my hair; it’s braided because it’s as much of a mess as I am. It’s not fuck me hair Brody. Can we go back now please?” Tears began to fall as she looked at the floor. Brody looked at her completely dumfounded for a moment. He pulled her towards him and hugged her. “You cut your hair?” Brody whispered as he wiped her tears. “Yes, and I dug a really big hole in our yard. I bleached mud, which makes no sense anymore, but it did then, and I cut my hair off,” Emma’s lip quivered. “I’m so tired, I haven’t slept and you hate me, and I’m just...so tired.”
Brody hugged her tighter, “I love you Emma.” “You don’t have to.” Emma wrapped her arms around him and cried, “I’m sorry I killed your sister.” “My love for you isn’t driven by circumstance or choice Emma. I need it like I need the sun.” Brody kissed her softly, “I need you in order to survive.” “I love you,” Emma said quietly. Brody started unbraiding her hair. “Brody don’t.” “I want to see Emma,” Brody continued. He ran his hands through it and tilted her chin up. “You look beautiful Emma.” “It’s all I could do, I had to do something.” Emma closed her eyes. “Digging a hole and bleaching the earth was not enough?” Brody smiled sweetly. Emma shook her head no, “There was blood.” “I see,” Brody hugged her. “I was filthy,” Emma spoke in a whisper. “You needed to feel clean?” Brody kissed her head. “I needed to take control of something.” Emma looked up, “To make a choice that was mine and mine alone...” “Alright then.” Brody rubbed her cheek and looked sadly into her eyes. “We should get back.” Emma stood up. *** Emma sat next to Maddox as she held Lexington whose sleepy head began to bob, and so did Emma’s. “Mom,” London giggled, “Are you tired?” “Sorry I am a bit,” Emma smiled. “Apparently, so is Lexington.” Caroline took Lexington from Emma. “I’m going to grab some coffee.” “Em, come here please.” Brody sat up. “I’m not telling you to leave, but you’re tired, you need some sleep.” “I’m fine,” Emma smiled. “Sit Em, right here.” Brody moved over and patted the bed. “Brody I’m fine,” Emma looked away. He took her hand. “Just for a couple minutes.” Emma sat next to him, and he pulled her down, “Rest.” Brody pulled her head to his chest. “Please don’t…I may fall apart.” Emma whispered. “Then do it here Emma,” he whispered back. *** Emma woke in the morning after a few hours of sleep. She went downstairs and looked out the door and opened it. “Clive what are you doing?” Emma asked. “As I was told,” he smiled up. “Is that going to be a sandbox?” Emma asked looking at the frame. “Yep.” Clive stood and wiped the dirt on his pants. “Why?” Emma asked confused. “Well Brody wanted something here that wouldn’t make you upset. He wanted a dance floor.” Clive tried not to smile as he peered up at her. “A dance floor?” Emma asked. “Well he wanted you all to, well he said something about being able to dance on that bitches …”
“Okay Clive I get it,” Emma scowled. “Did Maddox hear him say that?” “Oh yes, and he laughed very loudly. He looks so much different now Emma. I know the first time you have to end a life is the hardest, it gets easier,” Clive said softly. Emma gasped. “Yes Emma, sometimes its necessary. You were a hero; you are a hero, so strong.” Clive looked up at her, “Stupid, but strong.” “Excuse me?” Emma said as he picked up a roll of hard plastic. “I didn’t stutter; you could have been killed. Do you know what that would have done to Brody? He would have been an even bigger pain in my ass. And those three children Emma...don’t do that shit again,” Clive snapped. Emma looked at him, and he looked up at her. “Don’t wait for an apology that won’t come.” “Fine,” Emma scowled. “Good, now you want to help me roll this out and fill it with the rainbow of colored sand?” Clive smiled. “Sure, is there a cover, so the kids are not playing in raccoon poo?” Emma smiled. “There will be,” Clive smiled. *** Clive pulled up to the hospital entry. It was full of news vans, camera crews, and people. “Lots of press Emma sit still — I’ll get you through them.” Clive opened the door, and Emma stepped out and was bombarded with questions, she looked past them and up at Clive. He enclosed her in his arms and pushed past the crowd and stepped through the automatic doors. The security officer looked briefly up from his paper at them. “Make sure we can get out of here,” Clive snapped. “Emma, text when you’re on your way down. I’m going to make sure there isn’t a problem like that when we leave.” *** Emma walked in the room and smiled at Maddox and Brody. “Ready to get out of here?” “Damn Em,” Brody looked her up and down. “You look amazing.” “Thanks,” Emma looked down and pulled out some clothes. “You should get changed so we can get out of here. Maddox, I bought you a few button up shirts. I hope they are alright. I know you seem to like tee’s, but it’ll be easier to check your wound. You should only have to wear these for a few days.” “Thanks Mom, I like them.” Maddox took his clothes and headed towards the bathroom. Brody smiled. “Your hair Emma, there are rays of sunshine flowing through it.” He ran his hands through it and smiled. “They’re highlights,” Emma said and pulled back. “Blonde,” Brody kissed her head. “I like it…a lot.” “Okay thank you, you should get dressed.” Emma handed him a shirt. “Kiss Em?” Brody smiled. “I wouldn’t want you to pop a stitch Brody,” she said quietly. Brody laughed, “Are you concerned with my healing, Emma?” Emma looked up at him, and her face turned red. “Come on; let’s get out of this place before any more press shows up.” “Hey Em,” Brody whispered, “Sensation has returned.” “Okay, we should tell the doctor.” Emma looked away and felt her face turning even redder. “Want to see?” Brody grinned.
“Brody,” Emma whispered, “Maddox’s in the bathroom.” “I know, but this is great news, is it not?” Brody laughed. “Yes but…” Emma began. “No buts, just a kiss,” Brody pulled her towards him and kissed her. He rested his forehead to hers and smiled, his smile quickly turned to pain. “Brody are you okay?” Emma grabbed his arms. “No, I need to sit,” Brody’s face scrunched up. “Does it hurt Brody, did you pop a stitch?” Emma pulled the gown back. “Christ Emma don’t do that,” Brody let out a pain filled groan. “I’m sorry, I should get a doctor. Maybe a male, an ugly one, Brody tell me what to do,” Emma panicked. Brody started laughing through his pain, “Stop talking, fuck this is not good.” Emma hit the call button. “Emma for Christ sake, I don’t need a nurse.” “I’m sorry,” Emma snapped in a whisper. “What the hell do you want me to do?” “Is everything okay Dad?” Maddox walked out of the bathroom. “Yes, I just pulled something,” Brody sneered. Two nurses walked in. “It was an accident, sorry, false alarm,” Brody smiled shyly. “No...” Emma started. “Emma, I’m fine.” Brody squeezed her hand. Dr. Green walked in. “Everything okay?” “Yes,” Brody blushed, “Everything is fine, Emma could you talk to her outside please?” *** Emma and Dr. Green walked back in the room. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Dr. Green asked as she tried not to smile. Emma bit her lip and looked up at Brody trying not to laugh. “Em,” he warned. “I’m going to get you out of here Maddox, your father is getting very grumpy,” Emma laughed and wheeled Maddox into the hall. “Is there anything, a drug, something to stop this from happening?” Brody whispered to Dr. Green. “Brody it’s kind of a control thing,” she smiled as she checked his incision. “Doesn’t seem to be a problem anymore.” “Well of course not there was a room full of people,” Brody blushed. “Well I guess that’s your answer,” Dr. Green smiled. “But if it continues, your recovery will take longer. I can prescribe you something that may or may not help, but it will make you groggy.” “I’ll try the mind thing,” Brody smiled sadly. *** Emma walked in and smiled as Brody pulled up the sweatpants. “You okay?” Emma asked holding up his shirt up and helping him dress. “Yes, but you’re going to have to help me with this Emma. No sweet little smiles, no fuck me hair, no tantrums, no dancing about, no…” Brody stopped and looked up at her, “I am so fucked!” “No, really you’re not,” Emma giggled. “Em, no giggles.” Brody stood up. “Can I kiss you, like just on the cheek?” Emma asked pouting.
“No and no fucking pouting, get me out of here.” Brody sat in the wheel chair frustrated. “I don’t know why I can’t walk out of here!” Emma looked at the nurse, “Could you push him? I got Maddox.” “Why Em?” Brody snapped. “I wouldn’t want you to pop a stitch,” she scowled and pushed Maddox into the elevator. *** Maddox gasped when he saw all the people outside flashing pictures and screaming. Emma smiled down at him. “What do you think?” Maddox shook his head, “I’m not sure.” “They never go away. We’ll just get into the car quickly, okay? Are you alright?” Emma squatted in front of him. “I’m fine, all those people know Dad?” Maddox looked confused. “As much as you knew him by listening to his music.” Emma smiled and looked at Brody and winked. “You ready for this?” Brody laughed. “Yes...but,” Maddox pointed to the women flashing them. Emma covered his eyes, and Brody looked at her and shook his head. “I really enjoyed being in hiding.” “I don’t think your fans did,” Maddox chuckled. Emma and Brody smiled at each other, Brody grabbed her face and kissed her. Emma pulled away and smiled, “Let’s go.” “I love you, Em.” Brody stood up. “You shouldn’t be walking out Brody,” Emma scolded him. “I need to,” Brody stood behind her and put his hand over hers. Wrapping himself protectively around her. They wheeled Maddox out together. “MADDOX WE LOVE YOU!” “BRODY PUT ME IN MOVIES!” The screams poured in from everywhere, and Emma looked up and saw posters. GUNS KILL, AN EYE FOR AN EYE. Maddox looked down the entire time, and Clive held the door as he got in the car. “HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A MURDERER?” Emma gasped and looked around. Brody took her face, “Emma, it’s okay, let’s go.” Emma looked up at him. “Emma get in, Love,” Brody whispered and pushed her into the car. Emma sat in the car and began to shake. “My wife protected our family. I wish it were me who had to make that decision. I can assure you I would have made the same one. I ask you all for privacy while my family heals from the past year full of not only tragedy, but the blessing we would like time to enjoy.” Brody got in the car, and Clive pulled away. “You two okay?” Brody asked holding their hands.
CHAPTER TEN Emma held the door for Brody and Maddox. They walked into a very colorfully decorated foyer complete with streamers and balloons that said ‘Welcome Home Maddox and Brody.’ “Surprise!” London yelled as she jumped and clapped. Maddox laughed and bent to pick her up. London jumped back, “You have a boo- boo brother.” “Oh right you are,” he smiled. “High five?” London held her hand out. Maddox looked confused. London smiled sweetly and held his hand up. “Five fingers on our hands held up high and then we smack them together, it’s a high five.” “Oh I see, high five then,” Maddox held his hand up. “I get no love, London?” Brody frowned. “Oh yes you do,” she hugged him tightly, “and another hug for the sandbox!” Brody smiled, “You like it?” “I love it. Maddox we have a sandbox, so now we can build castles all the time. Normally we go away the last weekend of summer, but this is just as good,” London smiled. Brody looked at Emma and looked down feeling as if he was disappointing London. “She’s fine.” Emma kissed his cheek. “Mom, can I get popsicles?” London beamed. “Sure,” Emma kissed her head. “You alright?” Brody lifted her chin. “Yes, are you hungry?” Emma asked turning towards the kitchen. “Em, I’m not, can we go sit? I’m a bit sore.” Brody nodded to the family room. “Oh, do you want something for pain?” Emma asked quickly. He shook his head from side to side, “Not yet.” “Okay let’s get you settled in then.” Emma took his hand. Emma pointed to the recliner. “It might help if you elevate.” “I’m fine, I just wanted to sit and talk Emma,” Brody rolled his eyes. “Oh so now you’re faking pain in order to gain my sympathy?” Emma giggled. “Is it working?” He smiled. Emma closed her eyes and shook her head. “Apparently.” “Please tell me how you’re really doing?” Brody sat and patted the spot next to him. Emma sat and took a deep breath, “I’m better, I think the sandbox helped, thank you by the way.” Brody took her hand and kissed it. “I’ll do whatever it takes Emma to make sure you’re alright.” “I feel the same,” Emma smiled up at him. “I just...I’m so sorry Brody.” “I’m sorry as well, now that we have hashed that out, London expects a vacation.” “We can wait,” Emma smiled and looked down at his hand and rubbed gently. “Tomorrow I have someone coming by to test Maddox. Dr. Green will be by for the next few days, and you guys need to rest.” Brody starred down at their hands and smiled. “We can finally breathe Em.” “Yes but…” Emma stopped and looked up at him. “How can we?” “We just do Em.” Brody rubbed her cheek.
“Okay,” she smiled. Brody frowned. “Forced.” Emma smiled bigger and laughed, “Better?” “Much,” he leaned in and kissed her. Emma slowly pulled away and closed her eyes and giggled. “I can still take care of YOU, Em,” Brody winked. “NO!” she gasped. “Telling me no is ill advised Emma,” he pulled her in and kissed her again. Emma pulled away. “Stop, after your stitches have healed we’ll talk.” “Oh Em, we’ll be doing much more than talking,” he laughed. London and Maddox walked in. “Movie day?” “Sure London,” Brody smiled and looked at Emma. *** “They’re all asleep?” Brody asked when Emma walked in the room and started picking up the mess of board games. “Yes, Maddox insisted he sleep in his own room,” Emma smiled. “You made him feel safe,” Brody smiled. Emma continued cleaning up. “Do you have time to go on a date with me?” Brody asked. “Maybe a movie?” “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Emma rolled her eyes. “Get my pain meds I’ll make it worth your while.” Brody winked. “Not going to happen Music Man, not taking any chances,” Emma laughed. “Okay like a PG date? We’ll sit and eat popcorn and hold hands?” Brody stuck out his bottom lip pouting purposely, Emma shook her hand no. “Come on Em, we can pretend we’re in high school, you were a good girl. You can just pretend I’m your prom date. I’m sure you told him no.” “Brody, if you were my prom date I wouldn’t have said no,” Emma laughed. Brody smiled. “Good to hear. Okay Jr. High date, I won’t pressure you at all. Just sit and hold my hand Emma. It felt nice earlier.” Emma looked at him. “That was sweet.” “I can be Emma, let me show you.” Brody patted the spot next to him. “What movie shall we watch Love?” Emma asked and Brody smiled. Emma grabbed a blanket and covered herself up and sat next to him. “You pick,” Emma yawned. “Genre?” Brody asked. “Comedy please,” Emma laughed. “Alright I’m going to go grab some drugs…” Brody started to stand. “Hey I’m not going to the movies with some drugged up rock star wanna be thug.” Emma gave him a dirty look and stood. “Okay then,” Brody laughed. “Are we role playing Em?” “No,” Emma smiled and blushed. “So what are we doing?” Brody looked confused. “I’m going to get popcorn, drinks, and then I’m going to drug my date,” Emma smiled. “You sit.” Brody laughed as he watched her walk out of the room. “Brody, this was just dropped off by a currier, I signed for it.” Clive handed him a package. Brody opened it; there was a hand written note from Ariel. “I really don’t want to deal with this shit right now,” Brody growled.
“Alright then.” Clive took the package. “What’s that?” Emma asked walking in with popcorn and drinks in her hand. “A package from Ariel,” Brody sneered. “We can deal with it later.” “No, let’s just get this done.” Emma sat next to him and smiled gently. “I would prefer to wait until morning Em.” Brody looked at her, and she could tell he was exhausted. “Okay,” she kissed his cheek. “Clive you could look it over if you would like. Emma, feed me drugs and popcorn please,” Brody smiled sweetly. “As you wish.” Emma gave him his medication. They sat and fed each other popcorn and laughed full out belly laughs as they watched a group of women trying on dresses for an upcoming wedding when they all are stricken with food poisoning. Emma stood up, “Pause it please,” and ran out the door. She came back, and Brody asked if everything was alright. “Yes, I had to pee.” “Okay get back here.” Brody lifted the blanket and she snuggled up to him, and they both fell asleep. *** Emma woke to giggles; she opened her eyes and looked up at Brody. “I think we have company.” “Yes, I think we do,” he smiled down at her. Maddox and London laughed, “Good morning parents, I think you may have stayed up too long.” “Good morning children,” Brody laughed. “Where is number three?” “With grandma, should I get her?” London asked. “I can do it.” Emma smiled and jumped up and kissed them both. “Brody you alright, do you need your meds?” “No, only when I go on dates,” he smiled. “You’re going on a date?” London smiled. “We did last night, right here, second best date ever,” Brody smiled. “What was the first?” London asked. Brody smiled and stood up. “Hines bistro and dancing in here, not too long ago.” “Daddy,” Lexington laughed and smiled. Brody smiled and grabbed her. “Brody...no lifting,” Emma said as she walked back in and grabbed Lexington. “Look at the little lip Mommy, she’s not happy.” Brody smiled and kissed her head. “Sit, you can hold her. Sorry Lexi Daddy has a boo- boo,” Emma smiled. “Maddox, we need to check your boo- boo. You need to eat and get ready you have a placement interview for school. Grandma already gave you some medication, and if you need more let me know, you only received half the dose so that it wouldn’t interfere with your ability to wow them. London, brush that hair girl — and teeth, breakfast in ten, troops. I’m going to take a shower, and I’ll be back to give Lexi a bath and Brody, you and Maddox should look online to see what school clothes he would like. London, you and I can shop online, or dress up really silly and go out…” “Em, your feet just hit the floor love, slow down,” Brody grabbed her hand. “There’s lots to do.” Emma kissed his head. “Maybe after breakfast, baths, testing, the doctor, we can do something fun. Maddox, you’re going to have to just relax, but anything I can do…” “I think you should teach me what relaxing means,” Maddox smiled. Emma rolled her eyes at him. “Well, I think you’ll learn. You seemed to have picked up on sarcasm fairly quickly.” Brody and London laughed. “I’ll be right back.” Emma ran up the stairs.
“Well then what shall we do?” Brody looked around. Maddox smiled, and London laughed, “Nothing, I think she’s got it covered.” *** “Emma you’re hovering.” Brody kissed her head. “I just hope this isn’t too much for him,” Emma whispered and moved away from the door. Brody smiled, “I think it’s too much for you.” “Well maybe we could home- school him. I have had a year with Lexi from home and London had seven years, maybe he just needs some time,” Emma yawned. “Tired?” Brody smiled. “Exhausted,” Emma smiled back. “Okay well, please slow down,” Brody kissed her. “Will do. Now go sit down and relax, I’m going to make lunch.” Emma walked into the kitchen with Lexington. Caroline smiled, “Emma you look tired.” “Gee thanks,” Emma laughed. “I want to make lunch.” “I can do it,” Caroline smiled. “I want to Mom. Lexi, and I are going to wash veggies and make a big salad and add chicken and eggies,” Emma laughed and tickled Lexi. “Can I help?” Brody smiled. “Sure, you can sit here,” Emma pulled a stool up to the counter, “and make sure Lexi doesn’t fall out of her little cook’s tower.” Emma boiled eggs and baked chicken. When Brody wasn’t looking she would peek in on Maddox. Maddox saw her almost every time. Maddox smiled, and Emma gave him two thumbs up. “Emma, get back in the kitchen,” Brody chuckled. “He’s been in there a long time, he is probably getting tired,” Emma scowled and walked back in the kitchen and finished the salad. *** “It was very nice of you to come here for the testing,” Maddox extended his hand to Mrs. Tanner. “My pleasure, Maddox. May I speak to you both for a minute?” Mrs. Tanner smiled as she stood in the kitchen doorway. Emma and Brody sat across the table from her and held hands. “Let me just start by saying he aced the first test I gave him. I’ve never had a student do that. Ever,” she looked shocked. “I knew he was smart,” Emma smiled. “I then gave him a practice SAT exam, just to see what I was working with. And just so you know, normally it’s in the spring semester of the junior year that particular test is given. Maddox scored a 2210, putting him in the ninety- ninth percentile. Because of what he has been through socially, he should be placed in tenth grade. He has a September birthday; he would be the same age as most of his class. I do worry though, that he would be bored. Academically he’s ready to be a senior. So what I suggest is that we meet in the middle and he starts in the eleventh grade. It isn’t my call, and I’m still worried he may get bored. So what do you want to do?” Brody looked at Emma. “What do you think?” “I would love for him to start in eleventh grade; he’ll be seventeen when he graduates, but….” Emma
looked at Brody. “But what?” He looked concerned. “Brody he’s so smart, maybe we should ask him,” Emma said softly. “I absolutely agree Emma.” Brody kissed her head and yelled for Maddox to come in. Mrs. Tanner explained everything to him and asked him what he thought. “I’ll be a senior?” He asked. “Yes, but it will be a tough year. You need a certain amount of credits and because of your situation we can test you out of most of it, but you’ll have a very full schedule, and it won’t be easy,” Mrs. Tanner warned. “The worst case is I repeat my senior year?” Maddox asked. “Yes,” she smiled. “I would like to be a senior, please,” Maddox answered. “I would like that to be our plan, but we need to discuss what we would do for college in a year.” Emma looked scared. “Okay,” Maddox smiled. “We’ll meet you in the kitchen in a minute,” Emma smiled. Maddox pulled his phone out of his pocket and then put it back in. Deciding against sending a text to Harper. Brody looked at Emma. “Harper is a senior this year, too.” Emma smiled and Brody chuckled. *** “Emma, Lexington is asleep, I think I can handle carrying her up.” Brody stood. “But…” Emma began. “She’s less than twenty pounds Em,” he pouted. “I want to, please love?” Emma smiled. “Fine but if you hurt yourself I’m going to be pissed.” “Are you worried about me or you?” He laughed. “Me,” she stuck her nose in the air. “I told you I can take care of you, I’m healing very well.” Brody winked. “Nope,” Emma smiled. “I’ll take her.” Brody cocked his head to the side and winked. “Nope.” *** Emma was reading when Brody came down the stairs. “What are you reading?” his breath hit her neck. “It’s for work.” Emma looked up. “You smell good.” Brody kissed her neck. Emma cleared her throat and bookmarked her reading. “Did you sing to Lexington?” Brody smiled and kissed her neck again. “Uh huh.” “Brody, please…please don’t do that.” Emma squirmed down her chair and landed on the floor. “You alright, Em?” Brody laughed. Emma stood up and fixed her shirt. “Yes, do you need your pain medication?” Emma walked quickly away from him. “You can run Em, but you can’t hide,” Brody said tauntingly behind her. Emma stopped and turned around. She put her hands on her hips and scowled, “Stop.” Brody smiled and looked her up and down and licked his lower lip with obvious intention.
“No, means no,” Emma swallowed hard, and her voice quivered. Brody laughed a deep throaty laugh, “No what, Em?” “No Brody.” Emma walked quickly and turned the corner. She felt her face burning and opened the refrigerator and grabbed a cold pack and held it to her head as she tried to calm herself down. Emma shut the door, and Brody was leaning against the counter. “The fuck me eyes are not going to work Brody,” she snapped and threw the cold pack in the freezer. “How did boo-boo bear work Em?” He smiled. “Not funny.” Emma grabbed a glass and filled it with water and drank it down. She turned around and glanced at him. “Does that hurt?” He shook his head no, slowly. Emma grabbed his medicine and a glass of water. “Here.” “Thank you Em,” his voice was a purr. He took his pill and slammed his water. “I need to use the bathroom.” Emma walked past him and walked quickly to the bathroom and locked the door. Ten minutes went by, and she heard a knock. “Are you okay in there?” Brody asked softly. “Yes, would you go sit down?” Emma snapped. “Em are you hiding from me?” Brody laughed. “It’s for your own good,” Emma whispered. “Okay fine, I give up, will you come out now?” Brody whispered. Emma unlocked the door and he stood filling the door. “Excuse me.” “Don’t you hide from me Em…” Brody eyes raked over her. “You don’t play fair, at all Brody.” “I didn’t realize it was a game,” Brody watched her. “Brody, I love you, and I want you all the time okay? I just don’t want to…I want you to heal.” Emma looked up sadly at him. “I love you; shall we go upstairs and spoon Em?” Brody smiled slyly. “No,” she pouted. “No upstairs or no spooning?” Brody asked. “No spooning.” Emma took his hand, and they went upstairs. They peeked in on all the kids and Emma smiled, “Three sleepy babies.” “Three sleeping angels Em, our angels.” Brody kissed her sweetly. They lay in bed with pillows between them, forehead to forehead holding hands. “This is nice, right?” Emma asked. “Well it is interesting,” Brody laughed. “I took a girl to a movie and didn’t get laid, and now I’m in bed with the same girl, and no action. I think I’m losing my touch.” “I doubt that,” Emma rolled. “For argument sake I’m fine here, the only concern is popping a stitch, no worry of permanent damage.” Brody fanned his eyebrows and smiled. “How about we talk to the doctor tomorrow about that?” Emma fanned hers back. “If she says yes, I’m going to make you wait,” Brody scowled. “Yeah okay,” Emma laughed. “I also want to see if we can take off for a few days, I want London’s tradition to carry on. She’s been through enough changes.” Emma started to object, and Brody put his finger lightly against her lips. “It’s also a special anniversary for us, Emma.” Emma smiled and closed her eyes, “Sweetest man ever.”
“And to further impress you,” He paused, “I think your parents should move in with us.” “Really?” Emma asked. “They have also been through hell and with the kids going back to school they won’t see them as much. It is totally up to you Emma, but we have plenty of room.” Brody kissed her head. “If that’s what you want — I don’t want to make that decision.” Emma looked up at him. “Okay, if you don’t want them to that’s fine Emma.” Brody squeezed her hand. “You’re being serious about this?” Emma asked. “Very. Maddox missed fifteen years with family, London’s lost her father, Lexington is absolutely perfect,” Brody beamed. “And selfishly, your mother likes me and seems to be very available and eager to take the kids when I want to tie my wife up. Emma laughed, “You should talk to my Dad.” “Okay and can we go away?” Brody pouted, “Please, Mommy?” “We have to make sure you and Maddox are alright. Speaking of, he may need pain meds. I’m going to check, I’ll be back.” Emma looked back at Brody, “I love you.” “Always?” he smiled sleepily. “And forever,” Emma smiled. “I love you more,” Brody yawned. *** Emma opened Maddox’s door, and he jumped up and gasped. “Oh I’m sorry, I just wanted to see if you were asleep and if you needed pain medication. Did I scare you?” Emma sat next to him. Maddox shoved something under his pillow, and his face turned red, “No, no I am...I am fine.” “Can’t sleep?” Emma asked feeling his forehead. “I’m a little sore but nothing unbearable.” Maddox smiled shyly. “Well if you can’t sleep Maddox, you must be uncomfortable, and if you are you should tell me. I don’t want you to be in pain,” Emma closed her eyes. Maddox’s phone vibrated loudly, and Emma looked at him and smirked. “Sorry I was just…” Maddox stopped and shook his head. “Harper?” Emma smiled “Yes,” he smiled back. “How is she?” Emma smirked. “Well she’s a bit angry at me.” Maddox swallowed. “Why?” Emma asked. “Because I shouldn’t have …I should have…well I’m literally confused about all of it,” Maddox scowled. “Okay,” Emma’s word more a question than a comfort. “About Rebecca, I should’ve told you as soon as I saw her, that’s what she says, and she’s very upset with me.” Maddox looked down. “Well alright so why didn’t you?” Emma asked. “It was a bad day, Dad had been arrested.” Maddox shook his head. “Is that really why?” Emma asked. “No,” Maddox stood up and paced. “I was trying to deceive her; she was unaware that I recognized her. I was waiting for her to confront me. It ended up being perfect that you left. I took a knife to bed with me. I didn’t plan on sleeping, I planned…” “Okay Maddox,” Emma stood and hugged him. “I’m not saying you went about it right, and I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me.”
“I trust you, I love you...I wanted her dead,” Maddox sneered. “So she couldn’t hurt anyone ever again, so that we could be safe.” Emma felt tears in her eyes, “Maddox I understand, I do but had something happened to you…I wouldn’t have survived it, I love you Maddox.” Maddox felt tears in his eyes and looked down. “I’m very sorry I disappointed you.” “You didn’t Maddox. Now this is the part where I’m supposed to give stellar parenting advice and explain how dangerous your decision was,” Emma wiped his tears away and hugged him. “But I wanted the bitch dead too. I unloaded a gun on her, made her ‘Swiss cheese’, as your father said and he would have done the same.” Maddox giggled and looked at Emma. “I know it’s wrong to wish someone dead,” Maddox said sadly. “Yes it is.” Emma looked down and shook her head, “I know that’s not who you are though.” “Maybe she will, someday.” Maddox yawned and rubbed his shoulder as he thought about Harper. “Meds?” Emma rubbed his back. “Please,” Maddox laid down. Emma handed him his pill and water. “Goodnight, I love you.” “I love you, Mom,” Maddox yawned. Emma shut his door and smiled as she walked into her bedroom. *** Emma watched Brody sleeping; his face looked so relaxed, so peaceful. He is absolutely beautiful. His face could be described as oval if it were not for the cheek bones, the strong jaw line that lead to his beautiful lips, and that bottom lip that just begged to be sucked. Don’t even get me started on that chin, Emma closed her eyes and let out a breath. His eyes, ambiguous color, blue, green and dark gray when he was in his predatory jungle cat form, my favorite, Emma thought. The way he clenches his jaw and the muscles flex making my muscles flex involuntarily between my legs. Emma opened her eyes and Brody was sitting up looking at her. “You okay Em?” he yawned. “Yep…yes...I’m fine are you? Do you need anything?” Emma walked around to her side of the bed. Brody smiled and shook his head. “You are so beautiful.” “I’m tired, goodnight.” Emma turned her back to him. Brody giggled and rubbed her back. “Stubborn, beautiful, Em.” “I love you. Goodnight Brody,” Emma sighed. “You need to…” Brody started. “Go to sleep please,” Emma whined. *** Brody watched in the early morning light as Emma slept peacefully. Her lips even while she slept appeared to be smiling very slightly. She looked happy. The back of her hand rested against her forehead and her brown hair that was now adorned with little blonde rays of sunshine hit just below her shoulders. He liked it; she appeared younger than even his actual years. She wore a silk cami that hit just above her belly button with her arms positioned the way they were. He watched as her chest rose and fell slightly with each sweet breath she took. Her lips opened slightly each time she exhaled. He felt a slight stirring in his groin and smiled. He looked at the scar that was just beside her belly button and recalled the first time he saw it almost two years ago and how intriguing it was to him then and still was now. He lifted her shirt slowly exposing her breasts and looked at the scar, a distant reminder of how he almost lost her when he
had left for England. He had almost lost her not only then, but every time he had gone back. New Year’s Eve when she was drugged, the early spring when he went to find her sister, when he went in search of his son, who they thought was named Jonathan, he exhaled blowing across her bare unexpected chest. Emma gasped slightly and lowered her hand to her chest. Brody smirked and blew on her belly causing her to gasp and roll slightly to her side facing him. She put her hand on her forehead again exposing herself. Brody leaned in and traced the scar with his tongue and bit lightly on her pebbled nipple. Emma moaned and pushed against him as he began sucking harder, she opened her eyes. “Brody, damn you,” she moaned. She started to push him away, and he held her hands above her head and continued to please her. “Brody please,” Emma gasped as he rubbed lightly between her legs. Emma closed her knees tightly around his hand, and he bit down on her nipple, triggering her legs to fall open impudently. “Oh, please Brody, just please...oh god,” Emma whimpered. “Fuck that Em,” Brody hovered over her and kissed as he squeezed her nipple, rubbing it harshly between his fingers. “If you…oh damn it,” Emma gasped. Brody pushed his waistband down freeing him from his white cotton pajama pants and lightly rubbed himself in her warmth. “Brody I don’t want…mmm,” Emma moaned. “Just don’t move love, I’ll be careful, nice and slow,” he slowly pushed into her. Emma gripped the sheets tightly forcing herself to stay still; she felt her face scrunch up. “I am so pissed at you,” she groaned. “I can tell Em,” he rubbed his nose up the side of her cheek and kissed her tenderly. “Mmm.” “Damn you,” she breathed into his neck. “Oh Em, please keep damning me,” he hissed. Emma’s back arched and she whimpered loudly as his hip circled and he hit her perfectly and she crumbled. “Okay, stop, please stop,” Emma panted. “Honestly?” Brody looked at her confused. “Yes.” Emma started to sit up. “Alright then,” he clenched his jaw and pulled out and rolled to his back. “Thank you,” Emma moaned. Brody laughed a deep throaty laugh and closed his eyes tightly and sat against the headboard. Emma laughed and scooted under the covers. “Less exertion.” “Sweet, sweet wife.” Brody smiled as he pulled the covers off and watched her take him in her mouth, “Fuck Em, I’m not even…damn, going to try…to make…this …last. Awe fuck!” Emma moved faster using just her mouth, as he held her hair away from her face and watched, “That’s it Em….suck harder…fuck…just like that….awe fuck EM!” Brody’s head fell back as he came in her mouth, “So fucking good!” Emma sat up and smiled a big triumphant grin. “And not a stitch popped.” Brody hugged her and laughed. “I love you Em.” “You better,” she giggled and looked at the clock. “Its very early.” “I woke to a text from Collin. Tessa and the kids are going to the Cape, and we’ve been invited. I was also thinking the lake, what do you say?” Brody kissed the top of her head. “I say we talk to the doctor, and then Maddox — he may not want to go to the Cape.” Emma looked up at Brody.
He laughed, “I think Maddox will want to, Em.” “No, apparently they are at odds, she’s upset with him.” Emma stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. Brody rubbed his thumb across her lip. “Why?” “Because he should have told someone immediately that he recognized Rebecca,” Emma said and kissed his thumb. “Well, I’ll have a talk…” he began. “No, he only told me because I walked in and he was shoving his phone under his pillow,” Emma giggled. “Let him tell you...he has to know he can trust us.” “He also needs to know we are a united front Em.” Brody raised his eyebrow. “Oh okay 'Don't tell Mom about the extra sprinkles,” Emma said exaggerating his accent. He smiled at her and kissed her, “Sprinkles are not the same.” Emma started to object. “I’ll do as you ask Emma, but you have to remember I have been a father longer than you have been a mother. Maddox is a fifteen year old genius I think I did something right.” Emma’s mouth gaped open, and Brody kissed her head and stood up and walked towards the bathroom, he turned back and laughed, “Joking, love.” “You’re insufferable,” Emma laughed and jumped up. “But I’m all yours,” he walked to the bed and cupped her face and kissed her, “and you are all mine.” *** Brody sat with Clive in the office as Emma made breakfast; she was still smiling from her morning with Brody. “Hey Emma, do you have a couple minutes?” Brody asked from behind her. “I do,” she giggled and turned around. “You look simply glowing,” he said sadly. Emma hugged him and whispered in his ear, “I have to tell you I had sex this morning with the hottest man on the planet, I may possibly glow for the rest of the week.” Brody kissed her and smiled. “He must be one lucky man.” Emma laughed. “So what’s going on?” “Clive went through the package Ariel sent and in keeping my promise to share everything with you, I would like you to come have a look,” Brody took her hand and walked towards the office. *** Emma sat next to Brody and looked at him. He sat back and let out a breath and looked at her. “Please don’t be angry with me,” Brody looked at her with pleading eyes. “Lots of photo’s here Emma.” Emma opened the envelope and pulled out a pile of pictures. Emma slowly exhaled as she went through them. There were several pictures of Ariel and Brody naked, and they were not alone. Emma went through them quickly and then came to the last few pictures. Brody watched Emma’s face and when she stopped and gasped he finally let a slow controlled breath release from his lips. Emma sat back and tried to figure out what to say and closed her eyes and looked down. “Emma?” Brody said quietly. “Brody,” Emma said opening her eyes and looking down, “I’m not sure what to say.” “I understand,” Brody said quietly as he played nervously with his hands. “Is that all that was in the envelope?” Emma looked at Clive.
“No, there was a letter.” Clive handed it to her. Emma read the letter as Brody began tapping his foot. When she finished she folded it and handed it to Clive. “Is that all?” Emma asked. “Yes,” Clive answered. “Okay, thank you.” Emma got up and walked into the kitchen. He followed her out. “You aren’t going to say anything Emma?” “I need time to think before I speak Brody,” she answered quietly and checked the breakfast casserole. “But I don’t get a minute when I am upset Emma, so why…” Brody stopped when she looked up at him. Emma was angry; she walked past him and up the stairs into the bathroom and started the shower. She undressed and stepped in. The hot water ran over her face as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Emma felt the burn in her eyes and she took several breaths trying to calm down, but nothing could stop the tears from coming. Emma cried softly so no one would know, she had to hide the pain. Her kids needed her strong and now Maddox was here. Emma walked out of the bedroom, and Brody stopped pacing and looked at her. “I need to explain Emma.” Emma looked at him and tried to speak; as soon as she opened her mouth she felt the burn in her eyes again. She swallowed hard and shook her head no and walked past him into the closet and grabbed her clothes and dressed quickly. She walked out of the closet and tried to pass him. Brody took her hand. “Em please it’s not…” “Not now please,” Emma said and took a step. “Emma you do not need to speak, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try to explain,” Brody said harshly. “I’ve watched videos, and I know you didn’t remember, not only did I forgive it but until today I wiped it out. I chose to forget it so that we could move forward. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let that come between us, our family, and our future.” Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “You…this hurts Brody, and I feel like such a fool, stupid that I didn’t think that it wouldn’t continue. My God I saw pictures online of you at dinner…what the hell is wrong with me?” “It’s not you it’s…” Brody gasped. Emma slapped him across the face and started to walk away. He grabbed both her hands and held them firmly, “I don’t remember Emma!’ “That may have been true then Brody but not since you came back. How stupid do you truly think I am? Is that what you need? I really thought you loved me…” Emma cried. “I love you, damn it listen to me, Em,” Brody’s words were a plea. “My God Emma I love you so much.” He went down onto his knees and hugged her tightly. She looked down at him and he looked up with tears falling down his face. “Please Emma, I’m begging you, just fucking listen to me. I don’t remember.” Emma’s tears fell down her face, and he closed his eyes tightly together. “Please,” he clenched his hands tightly around her hips. “I need to get it together and feed the kids breakfast…” Emma started. “Caroline is finishing up, they’re all still asleep, give me five fucking minutes Emma.” Brody stood up and wiped his eyes, “Please.” Emma stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed. “The pictures of Ariel and I with the other women were taken in London, before you and I Emma. I had a wedding ring on my finger. We partied pretty hard, I can honestly say I don’t remember all that much
about those photos, but I remember a fight when we woke once and two other women were in our bed. I was angry, and she promised it wouldn’t happen again. She also told me I was very agreeable to it the night before. It was during the holidays. You saw the pictures of her and Rebecca, Rebecca appeared to know the camera was there. The pictures of your sister, Ariel and I …Emma, I promise I don’t believe I was aware of what was going on.” Brody looked at Emma. “It was Lila’s apartment, it was when you left us,” Emma whispered. “I left to protect our family Emma,” Brody snapped and shook his head slightly. Emma pulled back and pulled her knees to her chest. “Emma look at me damn it, I don’t fucking remember!” he hissed. Emma cried into her knees. Brody walked away and let out a frustrated growl. Emma jumped when he punched the wall. He spun quickly around. “I didn’t ask for this Emma, and I’m so fucking sorry this hurts you, but you not believing me, CRUSHES me!” Emma looked sadly at him, and he knelt in front of her and took her hand and put it to his heart. “I love you Emma, and I promise you, I do not remember.” Emma’s lip quivered, and he wrapped his arm around her waist and shook in anger. “I’ll figure this out,” Brody sneered when his tears had stopped. Emma closed her eyes, “I just want it to go away.” “Em look at me, I’m hiding nothing from you. If I wanted to hide this I could have, easily. I’m sorry, I need you to believe me that I don’t remember,” Brody pleaded. Emma shook her head, “Okay.” “Okay? Emma what does that mean?” Brody held her face and looked deep into her eyes, into her soul. “I do Brody, but it hurts,” Emma cried, and he pulled her into his arms. “The only thing we can come up with Emma is that I was being drugged. Here as well as in England. It was probably Elizabeth but Ariel could have been doing it as well. I haven’t had dreams or lost moments since Ariel’s death.” Brody lifted her chin, “Think about it Emma, things between you and I, I’m not pulling away anymore. My mood swings…” “Yes, they were epic,” Emma wiped her eyes. “Oh Em yours were impressive as well,” Brody cautiously joked. “I was only reacting to yours.” Brody smiled, “Yes love, but I was drugged.” Emma hugged him tightly.
CHAPTER ELEVEN Emma and Brody walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He kissed her head and sat at the table. Emma handed him a cup of tea. “Thank you,” Brody smiled. Emma knew his thank you was for more than the tea. “I believe you, I trust you.” “Okay,” he smiled. “Brody, I’m sorry. I’m being such a bitch. I don’t want to hurt you, and I know I did. I promise I’ll...” Emma started. “It’s alright, it’s not easy stuff we’re dealing with Emma,” Brody forced a smile. “If I saw you with another man I would see red.” “So Ariel was going to expose Elizabeth after the car explosion,” Emma said sadly. “Yes, my ex must have had a change of heart when she learned her lover, my sister, was trying to kill us. And I thought she was a bitch,” Brody laughed. “You two had threesomes or foursomes…” Emma asked softly. “Apparently sometimes five- some’s as well,” Brody cringed. “I don’t remember that either.” “And your sister and Ariel?” Emma asked. “Interesting isn’t it?” Brody laughed nervously. “Brody…” Emma stopped. “Alright love, the gooey stuff. It’s very difficult to realize that the people who you believe care for you would be so conniving and deceitful. It could easily make you question every person around you, harden you even.” Brody looked out the window, “like you and your armor, I too started building it around me. I won’t do that to us anymore, I can’t lose you. I can’t lose them; I can’t lose what we’ve created together. We need to fully trust each other Em; my heart couldn’t take it any other way. Its wrapped in yours, forever.” Emma looked up at him, “Now, how do I respond to that?” “No, need Em.” Brody kissed her softly. “God you’re beautiful Brody.” Emma wrapped one arm around his neck. “Not just the physical you...but here.” as she placed her other arm on his chest. Brody held the hand she placed above his heart and closed his eyes. “A reflection of what’s here in yours.” “Mom,” London said disgusted. Brody laughed and looked at London and Maddox. Maddox was holding Lexington. “Good morning, children.” “What are we doing today?” London asked. “First, breakfast.” Emma smiled. “And then I’m feeling very inspired, maybe we could hang out in the studio?” Brody asked. Maddox’s smile lit up his face, and London clapped and jumped up and down. “What about you Lexington, does that sound fun?” Brody laughed. “But first the doctor will be here soon,” Emma piped in. *** When they walked into the studio Maddox’s eyes fixed on the tunnel entrance. “It was necessary once,” Brody patted his shoulder.
Maddox smiled at him, “I know.” “Emma’s going to try to give us some time alone. She’s busying London with school shopping online.” Brody grabbed his guitar. “Always my favorite one, it’s a Fender Esquire.” “It’s old, huh?” Maddox looked at the worn brown guitar. On the back of the neck Brody and has band had all signed below the words, Go Big or Go Home. The back of the body had an American flag and flag of England decals that were worn with age. “Eight years, I got this when the band decided we were coming here. The next great British invasion,” Brody laughed. “Okay, let’s see how she feels to you.” “She?” Maddox asked. “It...I guess,” Brody smirked as he positioned the guitar under Maddox’s arm and helped him. “First know your instrument.” Brody pointed out the parts. “Body, sound hole, saddle, bridge, pick guard, neck, frets, fret board, nut, head stick, and tuners, got it?” Maddox smiled, “I think so.” “Alright then follow me.” Brody sat and picked up another one of his guitars. “I’ll help you learn some chords, first A major.” Brody placed three of Maddox’s fingers on the second fret, they worked at C, next D, E, and G. Maddox caught on fast and started strumming as he hummed a tune. “What are you humming?” Brody smiled at him as he followed Maddox playing. “Just something I’ve been writing,” Maddox blushed. “You’re writing a song?” Brody smiled. “Well it’s more a letter but put to music, silly right?” Maddox shook his head. “Not at all, care to share?” Brody was excited. Maddox smiled, “Not yet.” “Okay but when you are I’ll be very excited to hear it,” Brody smiled. “Alright then,” Maddox chuckled. *** Emma and London walked into the studio. “Lexi asleep, Em?” “Yes and London and I spent way too much money on vintage tee- shirts and hats,” Emma smiled. “I hope you don’t mind Maddox, but I think London picked out more for you than she did for herself.” “If he doesn’t like them, we can send them back.” London plopped down next to Maddox. “I’m sure I’ll adore them London,” Maddox smiled. “So Brody and I have a surprise. Brody? Why don’t you tell them?” Emma sat next to him. “Maddox and I are healing well. We think we should take off for the weekend,” Brody smiled. “End of summer vacation?” London grinned. “Yes, end of summer vacation,” Brody grinned back. “Maddox will you go outside with me and play in the sandbox?” London used her pouty face. “Absolutely,” Maddox stood and looked at the guitar and hesitantly handed it back to Brody. “It’s yours Maddox,” Brody smiled. “You’re a natural.” Maddox smiled and closed his eyes briefly. “Thank you Dad.” Brody looked at Emma and smiled, “He’s good Em.” “Like you,” Emma smiled back. “Yeah like me.” Brody sat back. “Have you written anything?” Emma asked looking at his notebook. “A while ago.” Brody picked it up and thumbed through it absently. “We still going to surprise them in the morning?” “That’s the plan right?” Emma asked.
“Yes, we should pack.” Brody started to stand. “You said you felt inspired. Write Brody, it’s been awhile.” Emma smiled and picked up the book, “May I?” He nodded his head and picked up his guitar and started quietly strumming as he watched her read. All I Can Do Slamming the door loud enough for the whole world to hear. The hurt, the hurt in your eyes paralyzing, paralyzing fear. Oh the pain vibrates throughout my body haunting my soul, twisting the knife driving deeper from the hurts taken toll. Try to stop the burn instead I fan and it spreads. Ashes rain down from heaven, true love is dead Nothing to stop the pain, the bottle miles away, distance from her hurt makes it easier each day What can I give you my words fall on deaf ears, the shouting, hurtful shouting I have to push back tears For you to see the darkened door I have closed so long ago, would it be poetic justice now to reap what I have sowed Chorus Do you know I cry out in need of comfort, Do you know it's your love I need? Do you know the hell I will endure for your smile, greater distance from me I walk awhile? Do you know its pain inside, Do you know I did everything for you I tried oh I tried? Do you know this broken man on his knees, his true desire for your hearts fullness, his disease? All I can do is hurt for you, All I can do is try for you, All I would do is die for you, Do you know I would die for you. Do you know I would die for you? What am I to do, alone I fall apart, Crouched in the darkness desperately piecing back memories of your heart How will I know if it works far, far away from you Trust in hurt and pain is all I can do oh, oh all I can do The master of puppets control my every move the bottle I wish with trust would soothe But in the darkness pain echoes inside of me, one desperately hidden so you’ll never see Crawling into darkness voice scream inside my head, reminders crumble heart’s desire broken promise monster fed To give my strength what’s left for your safe existence, to endure the pain from you I keep my distance The windowed wall I watch in shadows, for just one glimpse of pasts singing sparrow. Moving on without me doing what I asked, weapons fire I spread my arms to embrace the blast Chorus x2 Do you know I cry out in need of comfort, Do you know it's your love I need? Do you know the hell I will endure for your smile, greater distance from me I walk a while? Do you know it's pain inside, Do you know I did everything for you I tried oh I tried? Do you know this broken man on his knees, his true desire for your hearts fullness, his disease? All I can do is hurt for you, All I can do is try for you, All I would do is die for you, Do you know I would die for you. Do you know I would die for you?
“Brody,” Emma whispered holding her hand to her neck. “I told you dark stuff, and that’s just one.” Brody set his guitar down. “I hurt you,” Emma began to cry. “I hurt you, and I didn’t even see.” Brody hugged her, “I couldn’t let you.” “You can never do that again, I can never…I love you so much, don’t you ever hide from me,” Emma sobbed into his chest. “Things like this morning hurt you Emma, do you think I feel any different about your pain than you do mine?” Brody lifted her chin, so she was looking at him, “I don’t Emma, and I don’t feel any different.” “God, what a mess we are,” Emma put her forehead to his chest. “Not anymore Em, stronger than ever,” Brody kissed her head. “What you were playing, was it that song?” Emma asked wiping away tears. “Yep,” he smiled. “As soon as I saw your face I knew what you were reading.” “We need happy music Brody,” Emma smiled softly. “We make happy music Em, kind of raspy, breathy…” Brody started. “Okay, okay yes we do,” Emma smiled, “beautiful music.”
“The doctor scolded me today, she said I needed two more days Em.” Brody cocked his head to the side and winked. “You told her?” Emma gasped. “I told her nothing,” he laughed. “About traveling Emma.” “But you told me…” Emma began. “Maddox can travel, kids tend to heal faster. I can’t drive. Who would think a gunshot would heal faster than a knife wound?” Brody smiled. “Was that all you talked about?” Emma looked down. “Two days,” he kissed her. “I even have a note from her to give to you.” Emma laughed and so did Brody. “We should go up,” she smiled. “I agree, I need to talk to your father, and then…Em do you play catch?” Brody asked. “What?” Emma laughed. “Our boy is going to have to endure physical education class.” Brody looked nervous. “We can figure it out,” Emma smiled and took his hand and left the room. *** He watched Emma out the window playing with the kids, and made tea for Henry and Caroline. “Thanks for taking a few minutes away from them.” Brody set the cups in front of them and grabbed his. “First thank you, for everything you’ve done for us, all of us. I don’t think I’ve taken the time to actually say the words. I want you both to know how grateful I am…we are, that you’ve been such a great support to us.” “Of course Brody we’re family,” Caroline smiled. “Yes we are.” Brody gently squeezed her hand returning the affection. “Emma and I would like you to consider moving in with us.” Henry and Caroline looked at each other. Brody knew they were each searching for the answer. “Please take your time making that decision. Emma, the kids, and I are going to head to the lake, and then to the Cape. We would love for you to join us. The kids think we leave Friday morning. We would like to surprise them, and leave first thing tomorrow,” Brody smiled. “Both offers are wonderful, we would like to discuss it.” Henry smiled at Caroline. “Moving in here would mean you would be a direct influence on Maddox’s life. You’re his grandparents, his blood. Emma misses you, and I’m sure London does as well, and Lexington.” Brody smiled, “Through all of this hell she seems to have been unscathed, thank God. Of course, you’re welcome here anytime if you choose to decline the offer.” Caroline smiled at Henry. “We’ll let you know Brody. Was this Emma’s idea?” “Actually I was the one who started the conversation,” Brody smiled as he stood up. “But we both agreed.” *** After Lexington went to bed Brody, Emma, Maddox, and London watched a movie. Maddox sat next to Emma, and they looked through web pages for clothes. “I honestly don’t care,” he laughed. “Okay, why don’t we wait and you can see what other kids are wearing?” Emma smiled. “No thank you, jeans, tee- shirts that London chose, tennis shoes, that’s all I need.” Maddox smiled and messed London’s hair. “You have a birthday coming up, is there anything you’d like?” Brody asked.
“No. Honestly, I have more than I could have imagined.” Maddox closed his eyes. “You’ll be sixteen, how about a car?” London asked. Maddox laughed, “I just conquered the bicycle.” London leaned over and whispered, “Seriously brother? They would give you anything.” Maddox laughed. “Are you conspiring against us London?” Brody laughed. “Just helping a brother out,” London smiled and yawned. “Would it be alright if I thought about it for a bit?” Maddox asked quietly. “Of course,” Emma smiled. *** Emma came down the stairs and heard Brody arguing with someone on the telephone. She walked in and sat down next to him and rubbed his back, he rolled his eyes and scrunched up his face. “Idiots,” he whispered with his hand covering the receiver and kissed her quickly. “We may have to hang out here so one of those idiot detectives can interview us. I’ve been holding them off for days.” Emma’s face fell, and she swallowed hard, “Ok.” Brody put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. “Be here at seven, no later, you’ll have an hour....I don’t give a shit! Our lives have been on hold long enough!” Brody hung up the phone and put his hand under her chin and kissed her. “It’ll all be fine Em.” Emma nodded her head quickly in agreement, and he held her quietly for a few minutes. “Okay damn it, I need to get a grip,” Emma stood abruptly. “Brody, Maddox...he’s going to have to talk to them and relive…” “He’ll be just fine Emma, we all will. Look at me,” he grabbed her and lifted her chin. “Fall apart here Emma, with me, I’ve got you I promise.” “And when do you get to fall apart Brody?” Emma breathed out. “As long as I have you, none of the other stuff matters. Together we make things right for them, there’s no other way.” Brody hugged her. She closed her eyes and looked up at him rubbing her hand up his back, finally relaxing in his embrace, his warmth, his love. “You are my soft place to land.” He smiled and closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Emma felt his body temperature rise as his body tensed and hers in response did the same. He opened his eyes and looked down into her eyes. They mirrored his and he inhaled deeply and let out a low groan, “Wrapped completely, Em.” She smiled slightly at him and felt her face flush. “If we just laid in bed, just holding each other, kissing, rubbing, moving just slowly in and out Em, we could stay that way for hours,” Brody eyes were hooded and darkened. Emma walked up the stairs. He followed her into the bathroom and they brushed their teeth side by side, looking at each other in the mirror. Emma brushed her tongue and glimpsed at him, his eyes rolled slightly back. “Really Brody,” Emma giggled. “Yes, Em really.” Brody continued brushing. Emma rinsed her mouth and looked at him curiously. “It troubles you?” Brody rinsed his. “No, not really but is that truly all men want?” Emma asked slipping her bra off under her shirt. “You’re going to ask me that when you're removing clothing Em?” Brody smiled. “Well I want to know why. I mean if we didn’t have sex, would you still like me?” Emma asked.
He looked at her face and smiled. “You want to talk right now?” “Yes actually, I do,” Emma said brushing past him. Brody walked out after her and stopped and watched as she put on a sweatshirt and yoga pants, she raised her eyebrows, and he laughed. “We’re going to talk then.” Brody smiled and sat on the bed totally naked. Emma threw the covers over him and sat at the end of the bed scowling which made him laugh harder. “I’m serious Brody — if this is all …” Emma began. Brody sat up and grabbed her, pulling her so that her back was against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly and kissed her neck. “If this is all we shared, would it not be enough?” Brody asked. “That’s not what I’m saying Brody,” Emma whispered. “Sex to me was…” Brody began. “Was?” Emma turned her head and looked up at him. “Before you Love, but you need to be quiet because I’m going to tell you a story, so shhh, no interrupting,” he put his finger over her lips making her giggle. “I love your stories,” Emma whispered. “Well thank you but if you intend for me to tell you one you must be quiet.” Brody’s eyes widened warning her teasingly. Emma nodded in agreement. “This story is the truth about some boys and sex, please be advised that it may not pertain to some, but to many it does. This first group of boys we will call the room boys,” Brody smiled. “Room boys?” Emma giggled. “Yes, but do try to postpone comments or questions until after the story has finished, otherwise the storyteller may not be able to control his response to your intellectual stimulation.” Brody kissed the back of her neck. “The room boys are the ones who sit behind closed doors and quietly strum their guitar.” Brody had a smile in his voice. “So we’re not talking about sex?” Emma asked. “Hush please, the story is building,” Brody smiled “The room boys have just figured out what to do with the instrument and more importantly what it does for them. They practice hard, really hard,” Brody chuckled. “Until they realize they are missing something. Room boy is ready to take the stage. The evolution has now begun, room boy is ready to take a chance and move to playing his instrument for a willing, or should I say any willing audience of one. Room boy is now a one man show. He hones his skills so that he may be able to play an entire cord. He realizes that he’s getting pretty good with his instrument, and that’s when he begins to talk about it with his mates. So let’s recap, room boy realizes he enjoys playing his instrument, he then shares his instrument with an audience of one, evolving into a one man show. One man show feels confident in his skills and decides it's time for him to emerge from the audience of one so that his friends know he’s still alive. He shares his love of music and encourages them to join him in kicking it up a notch. Thus his evolution continues to garage band boy. Here, his friends and he realize that there is way more than an audience of one and as the audience grows so do the options. So garage band boy uses his instrument, his honed skills, and has the encouragement of his band mates and the audience to continue using the instrument. The garage band soon has a following and seeks a grander audience. They move from garage band to becoming headliners. The headliners instrument defines him. He’s really good at playing it and word spreads. It’s his way in and out and in and out and some decide through life’s events that it may not be enough, they may want more. At this point some choose to evolve into rock stars. Rock stars can sometimes have their instruments used against them, it becomes who they are, and at times they feel like they have become just an instrument. Their audiences have grown and want
nothing from them but to be able to say that the rock star has played his instrument for them, even though the rock star may want his audience to see him as more than an instrument. Some of the audience does, but at this point the rock star has decided this is enough for them, it feels good, and they do it well.” “Is the story over?” Emma asked. “Oh for many it is. But I want to tell you the happy ending Em, would you like to hear it?” Brody kissed her, and she shook her head yes. “Room boy taught himself to get off, the one man show taught himself how to get someone else off, and the garage band enabled him to experience all it could bring, a great feeling. The headliner had a sense of pride in his ability, he was assured he was good at it. The rock star got sick of it and decided that he was getting older and needed to be done, or his instrument may turn green and fall off.” Brody laughed and so did Emma. “One day rock star had his fill and was sure sex was really the only true pleasure in any sort of relationship and decided that was enough, and then through different events in his life he realized it was enough. He was ready to give up on everything except his music. One run through the park, one woman knocked on her ass, he saw in her what he felt inside, the tears he had never let fall. But something was different, the glimmer in her eyes, the need to show kindness, a hope that he thought he had lost, not a desire for a rock star. And right then, he was ready to take her back to his room, knowing she would say yes, no one had ever said no. She didn’t even know who he was. He was pleasantly surprised that this woman who looked at him differently than any other, didn’t know who he was, for otherwise he would have taken her, then the walk of shame from his room to the curb, and that would have been it. So instead, he mustered up courage and compassion that was fighting desire and left her unharmed. Blessing fell down upon him, and he met her that very same night, the first time he’d been in public in months. She told him no to a dance, even after being introduced as a rock star, further growing his fascination with her. Then photos, and so much drama and an unexpected yearning to comfort her, again a feeling he never felt, but being the one causing the discomfort he settled for an apology and extended the invitation to see him in action. Possibly this would cause her to look at him the way she had before, a look he no longer wanted but needed from her. To see the way she cared for her child, not a way he had lived or witnessed, to see her muster up strength when facing hell, but not in a hardened way, she was soft and vulnerable, and love poured from her soul. Then the music talked, and the way you, I mean she described my, I mean his passion and even knew what he was avoiding, he was done. He had to have her and not for only an evening. When the discussion finally came up, that first kiss, the heat and need he felt was not what he was used to. Then she told him no again, that was awful…for him. When she finally gave in, that moment was amazing. She didn’t give it up easily, and he was very glad, very frustrated but so pleased. She was trembling and nervous, again nothing he had experienced, and at that moment he knew he needed her and only her, always and forever.” Brody kissed her, and she melted further into him. Emma yawned, “That was a beautiful story.” “Well, of course it is, its ours, But please let me finish,” Brody kissed her neck. “That was the first time he had actually felt like he was making love.” Brody smiled, and Emma laughed and rolled her eyes. “I make love to you all the time, our love making Emma started at the park, the first time, and I’m not talking about when I went back to my room and jerked off to the picture of you in my head,” Brody smiled. “Brody!” Emma gasped. “Emma!” Brody gasped back and smiled. “And then saw you hours later, scandalous isn’t it?” Emma laughed and kissed him. “I’m not done, be patient love. Okay let's recap our story, the park, the very steamy shower scene,” Brody cocked his head to the side and winked and then continued. “Oh yes, I make love to you often. When we exchange smiles, or simple hugs Emma, I feel I’m making love to you. When I was giving you
injections so that we could create Lexington, I was making love to you. When I watch you with our children, I’m making love to you. Every second I feel your love, I feel like you are making love to me and I never want it to be any different. When we kiss I’m not shoving my tongue down your throat, I’m tasting you, the woman I’ve made love to in my heart for almost two years. When your breasts are in my mouth Emma, I’m adoring your body, when I touch you like this,” his hand moved under her bulky sweatshirt, “it’s not an orgasm I’m thinking about, its my skin touching yours.” His hand traveled down her belly. “Now I’m feeling you against me and then here,” Emma moaned, “I delight in the fact that you are as in need of me as I am of you, always Em.” His thumb circled her sweet spot, and he nipped at her neck and lightly kissed it. “You show me that you need me as badly as I need you. That you are mine, and I am yours. When I taste you it’s an acceptance of everything you are and when you taste me it’s transcendent. The first time you opened your mouth as I came you showed me you accepted all of me and then wanted more. The physical act of intercourse, I will never see it the way I have in the past, it’s not fucking, it’s not me trying to perform, it’s not dirty, or something to hide. When I’m inside of you Emma I’m wrapped in you, you’re accepting of all that I am, and I’m giving you all of me. If you knew how much pleasure it not only gave my heart and my soul, you may think differently. And now that I’ve told you I hope you do. I hope that you know that there’s no place I would rather be than wrapped in you forever.” “Your voice…your words...seduce my very essence, Music Man,” Emma whimpered. “Well it’s only fair because your heart and soul do the same to me,” Brody kissed her tasting her slowly, adoringly. Emma looked up at him and slowly shook her head in wonder as he continued to slowly, gently, lovingly touch her body and she touched his. *** Emma woke to light kisses on her neck. She smiled slightly and moved her head exposing more places that needed to be kissed. “How is it…that you…smell…so good…after the night …we had?” Brody spoke between the kisses that continued down her still naked body. “Hey Music Man, it’s six,” Emma moaned as he reached her belly button. She grabbed his head with both hands and pulled him up as he grumbled kissing up her body, “Good morning.” “Good Morning, shower with me?” Emma smiled. “Are you trying to kill me?” Brody laid on her and grinded his hips. “That’s very nice Brody,” Emma smiled. “Speaking of me killing someone, we need to get ready for the police.” Brody’s mouth opened immediately releasing her breast from his mouth and looked at her in shock. Emma laughed and whispered, “You didn’t know?” Brody smiled gently and cupped her face. “We got this, right Em?” “Of course.” Emma kissed him back quickly. “Now get off me Music Man, I have lots to do.” Brody didn’t move, he looked into her eyes and kissed her cheek and rubbed his nose across hers. She let out a breath and closed her eyes, “I’m fine.” He kissed her head and smiled, “Yes you are, this is no big deal. We’re going to get through this and then make three little people very happy.” “Thank you,” Emma hugged him. “Now…get off me Music Man?” Brody scowled. Emma smiled, “I was just…I didn’t mean it.” “I know,” he smiled. “Let’s shower.”
*** Eli, Emma, and Brody sat at the table waiting for the detectives to set up the tape recorder. Emma looked and Brody’s chest and wished she could just hide her face against it, it was now her safe place, she had no idea why it brought her so much comfort, but it did. So she focused staring directly up at it, the place she wanted to be. Head to chest, eyes closed, we got this Em, his smooth reassuring words, head to chest, eyes closed, we got this Em, she continued chanting in her head. He rubbed her hand gently, breaking her concentration Emma looked up and smiled nervously at him. “Are you alright Mrs. Hines?” Detective Storks asked. “Yes, sorry could you repeat that question?’ Emma looked at him and gave a weak smile. “For the record what’s your name,” he smiled. “Emma Hines,” she answered. “Could you tell us what happened on the night of August 25th?” Storks looked up at her. “Clive had told me that Brody had been stabbed. I went to the hospital. My parents and Rebecca were here. I ended up coming home and I heard them outside. I walked out, Rebecca turned and had a gun pointed at me. Maddox stabbed her, she turned and he started to run, and she shot him,” Emma closed her eyes and swallowed, “she shot him, and he fell.” Brody watched her, and his foot began to tap. Emma looked up, he leaned forward and looked at her, and he took her chin and kissed her, his jaw twitched. “Like a band aid Em, just do it Love — quick.” “I ran to him and held him and she had a gun, and I shot her, I shot her until I couldn’t stop. I had to keep him safe, I couldn’t stop,” Emma got angry. “I wanted her…” “Alright Em, that’s good Love come here,” Brody pulled her into his arms. “Have you got what you fucking needed?” “We would like to speak to your…” Detective Storks began. “He is a minor!” Brody snapped. “He has already spoken to one of your officers at the hospital.” “We would like to …” Detective Storks began again. “Do your fucking job? Had you taken this serious earlier, less lives would be lost,” Brody sneered. “Dad it’s okay.” Maddox walked in the room. “Maddox you’ve already answered their questions.” Eli stood. “They have had enough.” “Look I’m not the bad guy here. I just want him to tell his story, make sure it’s the same and then we’ll leave. Otherwise, we’ll have to do this again.” Storks’ voice was sincere. “It’s really no problem, but London will be waking up soon, and I don’t want her to be afraid,” Maddox said softly and sat. He pointed to the recorder, “Is it on?” Storks nodded his head yes. “Okay so she, Rebecca, knew I recognized her. I was going to sleep in Mom’s…Emma’s, room and then she was gone, I didn’t know why. She tried to bribe me with a vehicle and other things to keep my mouth shut. I could have agreed but wanted this over for all of us. I told her why my father was in jail hoping she would flee. She insisted I cut my wrist so that it would be thought that I killed myself. I refused. She pulled a gun threatening again that if I didn’t she would kill my family. I ran she followed. Emma came out of nowhere and yelled, Rebecca turned, I stabbed her so that she wouldn’t harm Mom, I mean Emma. She shot me, and I fell to the ground. Mom came to me and then I heard shots. Rebecca must have pulled a gun and Mom shot her to protect our family.” Maddox sat back. “Is that satisfactory?” “Thank you, Maddox.” Emma walked over and hugged him. “No, thank you.” Maddox hugged her back. “Are we quite done here?” Brody asked in a more collected yet clipped tone. “Yes, thank you Maddox that was very brave.” Detective Storks stood, “Thank you for your time,
we’ll be in touch.” Brody kissed Emma’s head and walked them to the door. “Are you okay?” Emma asked Maddox. “I am and you?” Maddox frowned. “If you are,” she smiled, “are you hungry?” “I can wait.” Maddox stood up as Brody walked into the room. “Did you tell him?” Brody smiled and put his hand gently on her back. “No,” Emma smiled up at him, “you go ahead I’m going to make breakfast.” Emma kissed him and walked out. *** “We’re going to take off today,” Brody smiled. “Today?” Maddox asked. “Yes, right after breakfast. Let’s go get the girls and eat.” Brody and Maddox walked out the door.
CHAPTER TWELVE They pulled in at the Lake and London clapped, “What’re we going to do first?” “Unpack,” Emma smiled and clapped. “That’s what you’re going to do,” London rolled her eyes and Brody chuckled. “London,” Emma used her warning voice. “Oh fine,” London theatrically tossed her head back causing Brody to laugh loudly. “Brody!” Emma snapped. “Emma!” Brody laughed. She tried hard to keep a straight face, but her beautiful husband looked so happy, so carefree. A smile crept across her face, and she bit her lip hoping to stop it and giggled as she stared at him. Brody ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, “I love you.” “I love you,” she blushed. He looked at her face and smiled, “Your eyes are twinkling, love.” Emma smiled, “I’m making love to you, Music Man.” Brody smiled, “I’m a lucky man.” Emma kissed him. “We better get things inside and run those three beautiful kids ragged, I want you in my mouth tonight.” “Holy shit, Em.” Brody’s breath hitched. Emma cocked her head to the side and winked and pulled away from him. *** They spent the day playing in the shade of the pine trees and on the beach, playing in the rocks, flying kites, and fishing. “Can we cook out?” London yawned. “Sure.” Emma hugged her. “Hamburgers?” “Cheeseburgers,” London smiled. “Oh you’re pushing it London, we shouldn’t indulge your every desire, we could spoil you,” Brody joked. Emma smiled at him and walked in the house and grabbed the food and came out. Emma handed Brody the plate, and he smiled, “Uh so Em, would you start the grill?” “Sure,” Emma opened the grill and turned the gas on and lit it. “Can I help?” Maddox asked Brody. “Of course, right Emma?” Brody chuckled. “Well sure, I’m going to go in and start the corn and potatoes,” Emma turned to walk away. “Hey love, got a minute?” Brody asked. “Of course.” Emma walked up to him. Brody whispered, “I’ve never done this.” Emma giggled and rolled her eyes. “No love, I’m serious.” Brody looked nervous. “Okay, let me go get the corn and potatoes started,” Emma smiled. “Be right back.” Emma and Brody stood and watched as Maddox flipped burgers. Emma smiled at Brody. Lexington was falling asleep on Brody’s lap as he tried to feed her. “Oh Lexington just one more bite,” Brody smiled.
Emma watched as he tried to keep her awake. The way he looked at her with love and concern made Emma’s heart melt. There was nothing more beautiful than watching him talk sweetly to their children. “You’re gaping love,” Brody pushed Emma’s hair from her face. “It’s you,” she whispered breathlessly. He smiled slightly and shook his head, “Alright.” Emma made no attempt to pull her gaze from him, she was entranced. It wasn’t until she noticed his face turning red that she stopped. “Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. Let me go put her down.” Emma stood and reached out her arms for Lexi, he kissed her and handed her to Emma. “Hey Brody,” Emma smiled. “The burgers are done, can you help them put cheese on them, and move them to the top rack in the grill?” “Of course,” he smiled apprehensively. Emma kissed him. “I love you.” Emma laid Lexington down and kissed her head. “We’re all going to be just fine, better than fine.” Emma rubbed her back until she did her little sleepy shake and kissed her again. Watching her sleep had eased the pain when she missed Brody all the months he was missing. Just holding and rocking her brought her to a serendipitous place, like watching a sunset on a clear night, waves rolling into a beach, the twinkling of the stars in heaven, with the peace only a child could bring. It still had the calming effect now. She had made it through years of an unstable marriage watching London sleep. It brought a warm feeling into a cold heart after an evening of feeling uncomfortable in her own home, in her own skin. It brought light into the darkness she could have easily slipped into had her heart been unfilled by the love London gave her. The love Emma felt was one that only a mother could feel from her children’s smile; the truest form of love. A love that would cause you to do whatever you could to make life beautiful for another human being. Their needs placed before yours without even a thought or a moment of reservation. A love that wasn’t forced, but born into your life. Brody made her feel that way as well, at the beginning before hell came to them. He easily expressed his feelings without prompt or occasion, it was simply who he was with her. Someone whose spirit had awakened by being truly and faithfully loved. For Emma, it took being a mother to feel that way. For Brody, it took Emma. Emma felt tears form in her eyes, not from sadness but from the realization that he had returned. Not just from England, her love had returned, he was stronger now than ever before and so was their love. “Mom, dinner’s ready,” London whispered so she wouldn’t wake Lexington. Emma turned and smiled. She picked London up and hugged her tightly. “I love you so much, London.” Emma kissed her cheek. “I love you more Mommy. Are you alright?” London brushed her tears away. “Did I hurt your feelings today, about unpacking because…” Emma kissed her fingers. “No, London of course not, you are my light. You have been since the day you started growing inside my belly and by the way, we love each other more.” London wrapped her arms around her neck and held tightly and whispered in her ear, “We do, Mommy.” “Always,” Emma held her and walked out of the room quietly. London hopped down and looked up at Emma, “I’m hungry.” “Me too,” Emma smiled and followed London down the stairs. *** After dinner, Emma and London did the dishes as Brody and Maddox cleaned up outside. “Thank you for teaching me to grill Dad,” Maddox smiled and sat down. Brody handed him a bottle of water, “I’d like to take the credit, but I’ve never done that either.”
Maddox smiled, “Emma…Mom?” “Yes,” Brody laughed. “She’s taught me a lot.” Maddox laughed and looked at the water. “It’s beautiful here,” Maddox smiled softly. “It is, and calming isn’t it?” Brody sat back and opened his water and took a drink. “I love the water,” Maddox said softly watching the ripples of the waves. “Me too,” Brody gaze at the water as well. “Did you bring your guitar?” Maddox smiled at him. “No, actually — what was I thinking?” Brody laughed. “I did, I brought the one you gave me.” Maddox smiled, “I’ve been practicing the cords you taught me.” “I have heard you, pretty close to being better than I am, which is amazing, you catch on very fast,” Brody smiled. “Go get it, you can play for me.” *** Maddox ran into the house, and up the stairs, London saw him and smiled. “Mom, his birthday is soon.” “Two days,” Emma laughed. “Can we make a cake tomorrow?” London asked. “Of course, what kind do you think we should make?” Emma smiled at her thoughtful daughter. London’s eyebrows knitted slightly. “London?” Emma asked rinsing out the sink. “I guess it doesn’t matter, Mom. I’m tired can I go to bed?” London asked. “Of course,” Emma smiled. “Will you come in with me?” London asked quietly. “Absolutely.” Emma dried her hands, and they went upstairs. London used the bathroom and then they both brushed their teeth and changed. Emma took off her bra and slipped her night shirt over her head, carefully covering herself. “Does it hurt?” London asked. “Does what hurt?” Emma asked brushing London’s hair. “The scar on your booby?” London giggled. “No,” Emma laughed. They went into the bedroom, and Emma tucked her in and laid next to her. “Prayers, you or me?” Emma asked kissing her head. “I want to,” London said quietly. Emma closed her eyes and held her hands in prayer. London finished the Lord’s Prayer and continued, “God, thank you for all of our blessings, for Lexington, Maddox, Grandma and Grandpa, Mommy and Brody, thank you for keeping us safe and healthy. Thank you for healing Mommy. Thank you all of our blessings…God I wanted to ask a favor, could you please let my Daddy know I love him very much, and I miss him very much. Please take care of him and hug him a lot. He likes hugs and Eskimo kisses and chocolate cake…” Emma opened her eyes when she heard London’s voice break. London’s eyes were closed, and she was fighting tears, she opened them and looked up at Emma, “I miss him, Mommy.” Emma scooped her up and held her tightly. “Me too, London.” “I miss him and it hurts here,” London touched her heart. “Oh London…I’m so sorry,” Emma cried softly with her daughter.
“I know Mommy,” London cried into her neck. “London, I would do anything in my power to bring him back, but I can’t,” Emma choked back tears. “Okay,” London said sadly, “He slept in here with me, we made him cake, I miss him.” “We can leave London, we can leave now if this is too hard for you…” Emma sat up with London in her arms. “No, it was fun, it was a happy time, Mom. I’m not scared, but could I sleep with you?” London asked. “Of course,” Emma smiled and kissed London’s sweet little cheeks. “Let’s go.” *** Maddox sat and played guitar and Brody sat back smiling. “Maddox you’re very good.” “Thanks,” Maddox blushed. “So what was that song you were working on, are you ready to share with me?” Brody leaned forward smiling. “Well it’s not much of a song, it’s just I don’t know, thoughts not even in any particular order.” Maddox blushed. “Okay that’s how it starts” Brody trying to entice him. “Well it’s kind of about the sea, or ocean I guess.” Maddox smiled and strummed the guitar. “That tune Maddox is very catchy,” Brody said sincerely. “Any words to go along with it?” “Maybe just a few so far.” Maddox blushed. “Do you want to hear them?” “Absolutely, I’m literally bursting at the seams to hear it Maddox,” Brody tried to hold his composure and Maddox smiled. “Alright then,” he took a deep breath. Through the sea, I see the beauty hidden, in its depth I find my soul’s light burns inside of me. The waves, they wash away what life’s breath had blown, through her eyes and wind the beauty is shown. Wave’s sounds of thunder in my mind I run, but the seas grand reflection opens up to the warmth and I am done. Reflecting the love burning inside. From the seas song, I realize no longer must hide It welcomes my yearning, it caresses my pain, the rippling water lightly kisses away all of life’s stains. Washed away by the seas calm nurturing I feel renewed, washed away by the seas my soiled soul alive and loves hope is renewed.
“That’s it so far,” Maddox said softly. “Maddox...it’s beautiful, hopeful…it’s healing.” Brody swallowed hard visibly effected by his sons words. “Well yeah…I guess.” Maddox tried to subdue his smile. “Maddox it’s amazing, I mean I expected it to be good, you are my son,” Brody chuckled, “But I’m truly astonished.” “Maybe you could help me finish it…someday?” Maddox smiled. “Sure but I really don’t think you need my help.” Brody looked at Maddox in admiration. “Okay, I’m kind of tired, could we go inside?” Maddox stood up. “Of course...of course. Wow Maddox, you just blew me away.” Brody put his arm around his shoulder, and they walked in the house. “I’m so proud of you Maddox, not just the music — but of who I already know you are. You’ve lived a hell I can’t even imagine, but through the grace of God, your soul and heart are so pure and good Maddox. I love you son,” Brody kissed his cheek and said goodnight. *** “Em,” Brody whispered as he took off his shirt he leaned over to kiss her, “You didn’t come back.”
Emma kissed him back gently, “London is in here.” “Everything alright?” Brody asked quietly. “She misses Troy.” Emma slipped out from under the covers and took his hand and walked out the door. “I know, she was kind of off today…I should have thought…” Brody stopped and looked at her with deep concern in his eyes. “Em, we need to do something for her, for Maddox, for your parents, for you, no one’s had a proper chance to grieve.” Emma looked at him and let out a breath. “Like what Brody? There really isn’t anything we could do. We’ve all lived through hell for over a year, but we can’t look back. There isn’t a thing we can do but keep moving forward.” “I don’t know, but I’m going figure it out. I don’t want you to worry anymore alright?” Brody wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly into his arms and kissed her head. “Go back to bed, snuggle with London.” “I’m sleepy,” she smiled wearily. “I know love,” Brody kissed her and let go. “I’ll check to be sure that Lexington’s asleep.” *** Emma woke and sat up, it was four thirty in the morning. She crept out of bed and walked down the stairs, Brody’s head was on the table, and he had a pen in his hand. Emma looked over and saw he had written something on a pad of yellow paper. She smiled warily as she read, candles, paper lanterns, small boats, tea lights... “Oh my God!” Emma jumped when Brody touched her hand. “No love, just me,” he laughed. “Good morning…I think.” “You fell asleep at the table.” Emma ran her hand through his hair in concern. “Did you miss me?” He stood up and kissed her gently on the lips. “I was worried,” she said softly. “No more worry Em, all good things from here on out.” Brody cupped her chin with his hands and slowly moved in for a kiss. Emma’s head was spinning when she pulled back. “What’s this?” “A surprise,” he smiled, kissed her again and pulled back. “And this is for you, too.” Emma closed her eyes as he rubbed against her. “Yes…but…” “Shh Em,” Brody’s smile didn’t touch his eyes, they were dark and filled with so much desire it made her heart beat faster and her knees clench. “It’s been two days, love.” Brody’s hands moved slowly down her side, she whimpered, “Technically it …” Brody’s jaw clenched and she gasped as he slid his finger inside of her panties and lightly caressed her. “Technically...you’re wet and you need me.” Brody leaned down to kiss her and then pulled back and licked his lips, “and I haven’t made love to you for almost a week, and now I need to be in here, wrapped inside of you, you want me just as badly.” Emma nodded her head and closed her eyes. Brody kissed her lips lightly and then moved to her cheek. He ran his tongue down her jaw and neck. He bowed his head and ran his tongue across the light silk material covering her responsive breasts. She groaned and grabbed his head as she arched her back pushing her breasts into him. Brody sucked lightly and then bit down. “Brody…we…” Emma moaned loudly. “Outside.” His nose flared, and he looked up taking her hand and dragging her still breathless to the door. Brody trudged to an area to the left of the camp where there was a small clearing in the pines. He turned abruptly causing her to run into the wall that was all Brody.
“I need to make you come Em,” he bent down and took her breast harshly in his mouth, and she whimpered as her hands grabbed his hair pulling him closer to her body. “I need you to make me,” she gasped as he kissed and nibbled down her stomach until he reached her belly button. He licked her belly button as he ran his nose gently across her stomach. The light stubble on his chin grazed just above her pubic bone. He dipped his tongue lower gently caressing her sweet spot. “You taste so fucking good Em,” his hot breath against her bare skin caused such pleasure. She felt the burning and throbbing that always came before the whole world exploded. “Please, fuck me, oh Brody, please,” Emma begged. He continued to lick her as he pushed his finger inside her, circling her and hitting just the right spot. “Now, damn it,” Emma whined. Brody continued, and she began to pull away. He lifted her leg over his shoulder and buried his tongue deep inside of her. “Come Em, come now!” “No…I...Brody...stop stop stop…” Emma began to squirm and he held her hips tight to his face and moaned, “Oh Fuck!” “Fuck Em…Oh fucking beautiful,” his lips vibrated against her drenched flesh. He stood up quickly. “Turn around, bend over and grab the tree, I’m going to fuck you hard just like you asked. Fuck EM,” he yelled as he pounded into her from behind. “You…fucking…tasted ...so…good. You are so fucking wet,” he wrapped one arm around her waist helping support her. “Oh God Brody I love you,” Emma moaned. “And you love my mouth on your …fuck,” he slammed into her hard holding her boneless body with one arm, supporting himself with his other hand on the tree. “I’m going to come so hard for you.” “Yes, please, yes…” Emma moaned over and over again until he released. Brody slumped over her body and kissed and sucked the back of her neck as she felt his body jerk inside of her, emptying all he had into her. “I fucking love you,” he growled in her ear. “I fucking love you, back,” she giggled out of breath and began to pull away. “Em, don’t move,” he groaned. Emma felt him growing inside of her, “Brody?” “I need you again, fuck,” he stood up and growled. “Oh…my …” Emma gasped. “Hang on love,” he said and began moving quickly in and out of her. “You have no idea what that does to me.” Emma felt the burn again, “I don’t know how long…” “I have you,” he held her hips and looked down at their bodies connecting. “You are mine.” “Oh, yes,” she panted and pushed into him, meeting his thrust with as much force as she could. “Always,” he slammed into her and she came undone. “I’m going to come, Em.” “And forever,” she screamed as they came together. *** They walked in to the camp quietly, he pulled her hair back away from her face and kissed her softly. Emma smiled up at him and then rested her forehead against his chest. “You’re soaked.” He lifted her chin and kissed her softly again. “Uh huh.” “I made you work,” she kissed him back, and he chuckled. Emma scowled at him. “Oh love…you,” Brody began. “That’s from…” Emma’s face turned bright red.
“Oh yes, and thank you for that, squi…” “Don’t you dare,” she warned. “Then you say it,” he smiled brightly. “No!” she snapped and tried to pull away. “Please,” he pushed his lip out and pouted. “It’ll make me a very happy man.” Emma looked at him, his eyes were twinkling, and she couldn’t help but smile. “No.” “Emma love, my beautiful, hot,” he kissed her sweetly, “tasty wife. I won’t call you squirt.” Emma rolled her eyes and blushed. “I’m going back to bed.” “I’m going to frame this shirt,” he said and stepped back from her quickly and laughed. Emma started towards the stairs. “Em, spoon with me on the couch?” “Lose the shirt,” she said forcing herself to scowl. “You first?” He smiled. “No…if you lose the shirt I’ll sleep with you,” Emma put her hands on her hips. “Are you bartering with me?” He smiled agreeably, she nodded her head yes. “Ok love anything you want.” Brody pulled the shirt over his head and rubbed his face across it slowly, knowing her reaction and welcoming it. He held his shirt out in his hand, she took it and threw it away. Brody started to laugh and she turned around quickly, and he closed his eyes and tilted his head back trying to stop the impending chuckle he felt rising in his throat. He loved her little scowls, he loved every emotion that came from her. More than anything he loved reassuring her that he loved her with all his heart, body, and his soul. *** He was standing shirtless with his faded jeans still undone, he looked absolutely amazing. Emma watched the sun beginning to peek up on the other side of Lake Winnipesaukee. The dawn’s light surrounded his body, and he looked even more glorious to her than ever. Like an angel. Everything they had gone though, the hell she was sure they still had to endure, none of it mattered. The women, the tragedy, the hurt feelings, all the hurt went away with just the slightest smile from him to her. It wasn’t because she was some stupid needy girl, it was because of the undeniable connection they had to each other, the yearning to tend to each other’s needs, even the self- fulfillment she felt when she was on her knees in front of him. She’d never wanted someone in her mouth before, but with Brody...she couldn’t imagine not adoring his body the same way he did hers every time they touched. Emma looked up into his eyes watching hers. His mouth was opened slightly, and his eyes were heavy. He took a step closer. She licked her lips quickly and swallowed hard. “Em,” he clenched his jaw. “I need you…in the bathroom…now,” she turned and started to walk away. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her body tightly against him. His hand slid up her nightgown, and he grabbed and caressed her breast, pulling at her nipple. He licked her neck causing her to whimper. “Em,” he took his other hand and ran his finger across her lip slowly. Emma ran her tongue down his long finger and sucked it slowly up and down. “You want me in your mouth,” it was a statement not a question. “Em, I love how you fuck me with your mouth.” Emma felt the tightening in her belly, and she let out a soft long groan as she sucked his finger harder as they slowly moved towards the bathroom, touching, feeling, and sucking each other. “Lift your arms,” he growled. Emma looked at him confused and turned on, her head was spinning, and she did what he asked. He pulled the night up and stopped at the wrists.
“Keep them raised,” he bent down and licked her nipples as he tied the night around her wrists so that she couldn’t touch him. “Brody…I…” Emma began. “Em I am going to lay you on the floor and give you exactly what you want,” he breathed into her neck and kissed it. “Then I’m going to straddle you and fuck your tits as you suck me off.” Emma nearly convulsed, “Yes, okay, yes.” Emma dropped to her knees and licked his throbbing purple head and sucked hard. “Damn Em…feels so …good,” he held himself with one hand and pulled her hair back and placed his hand on the back of her head and watched as she went farther and farther down his shaft. She began to gag, and he tried to pull away, she bit down. “Em,” he said as his head jarred back and she continued moving up and down him faster and faster stopping only when she needed to breathe. She licked his sac, and he twitched against her face. “Fuck Em, lay down damn it. I want my cock between your tits,” he growled. Emma sat back and was visibly squirming. “Do you know how hot it is that you get so wet for me when you suck my dick Em?” Brody kissed her harshly on the mouth, and she reached for him stroking him. “Is that what you want Em?” “Yes …in my mouth please,” she squirmed. Brody sat back on his heels. “Lift your arms.” Emma lifted her bound arms above her head, and he helped her ease gently onto the ground. He straddled her and pushed her breasts together tightly around him and moved up and down slowly. He felt her hips circle underneath him. Brody pushed up to her mouth, and she hollowed her cheeks and moaned. One hand stretched out and held her chest tightly around him as he pumped and she sucked. He reached back with his other hand and rubbed her sweet spot and she arched into his hand and moaned loudly, and she licked and sucked him fast and hard. He felt her knees start to clench and moved his hand faster, and she came pulling her head back and he lost all control and emptied onto her chest. “Fuck!” When he finished he looked down and Emma’s eyes were closed, and her face was flush. She smiled slightly and peered up at him. “You made a mess,” she smiled as he reached to untie her hands. “Your fault,” he smiled shyly. “Not a mess love.” Brody pulled her arms up and gently caressed her wrists and kissed them. She smiled at him, “Oh no?” Brody raised his eyebrow giving her a challenging look and laid down on her. He rubbed his chest into hers and she giggled. “Love squirts, Em.” “Love squirts,” she smiled and held his face in her hands and kissed him gently. Brody laid on her looking down at her adoringly, causing her to blush. “How did I get so lucky?” Emma rolled her eyes and giggled, “I ask myself the same thing every time I look at you.” “Every time?” He smirked and wrinkled his nose as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Every time,” Emma smiled. “I love you,” he kissed her and sat up pulling her up with him. “Em could we stay like this and wake up glued to each other?” He asked as he rubbed her chest. Emma laughed out loud and grabbed a washcloth and cleaned him and herself. She stood on her toes and kissed his nose. He held her hand and led her out to the living room, they laid on the couch and spooned, just like he wanted to.
“I love you,” he said wrapping his arms around her. “I love you more,” Emma nuzzled her head into his chest and fell asleep. *** Emma woke to Brody watching her and rubbing her back lightly. She smiled, “Good morning.” “Great morning,” he kissed her pleasingly. “I should probably go before London wakes up.” She kissed him and sat up. “I’ll go with you,” Brody stood and followed her. “I’ll check on Lexington and Maddox.” Emma stopped at the foot of the bed and watched London sleeping peacefully. Brody wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, hugged her and kissed her neck. Emma rolled her head to the side enjoying his lips lightly touching her skin. She lifted her hand and ran it through his hair. “They’re sleeping as peacefully as she is, we have a beautiful family Em, a lot to be happy about.” Brody smiled and kissed her neck again. “Honestly — amazing,” she whispered. “Yes, they are,” Brody took her chin and turned it gently into a gentle kiss. Emma pulled back and smiled, “I was talking about you.” Brody looked at her expressionless for a moment and then smiled proudly, “I don’t ever want you to ever feel otherwise.” “I don’t think it’s possible.” Emma turned and kissed him tenderly. “Thank God, “he rubbed her cheek sweetly, “Now go.” Emma smiled and climbed in beside London and Brody laid in the other side. He watched as London very naturally wrapped herself around Emma. He smiled at Emma and whispered, “This is what life should be Emma, for everyone. We are truly blessed.” Emma was taken aback and let out a slow breath and mouthed “I love You, Music Man.” “Always?” he said in barely a whisper. “And forever,” she smiled. *** Emma woke and got out of bed quietly; she grabbed a sweatshirt and shorts and threw them on. She walked into Maddox’s room, and he wasn’t there. She went to check on Lexington, and she was gone too. “Oh no, no, no,” she turned in a panic and ran into Brody, “Their gone.” Her body began to shake, and his eyes mirrored her terror. “You get in there with London, lock the door and don’t open it until I tell you to Emma,” she was in shock, and he shook her. “Em, damn it go.” Emma stood frozen, and he grabbed her and took her in the room and placed his finger over his mouth and whispered, “Lock the door, I love you, everything’s going to be fine.” Emma watched him walk out, and tears flowed down her face as she locked the door and slid down it to the ground silently crying. It felt like a hundred years before she heard him tap lightly on the door. She jumped up and opened the door, “Maddox and Lexi are right down stairs Emma.” Emma shook uncontrollably, and he grabbed her securely holding her to him as he walked out the door and into the bathroom, still holding her. “Lexi was awake, he was letting us sleep in Em, they’re alright Love,” he said in a soothing tone as he rubbed her back and rested his chin on her head.
It took a few minutes for Emma to calm down, when she finally stopped shaking she took in several deep breaths and exhaled slowly into his chest. “He was feeding her breakfast and singing to her,” Brody whispered. Emma stepped back and looked up at him, her voice shook slightly, “I panicked.” “It’s understandable,” he wiped the tears from her face. “No, it’s not Brody, it can’t be, ever…” Emma started. “Look at me,” he lifted her chin. “We’re happy, we’re absolutely wonderful. I promise I will be here to take care of you,” Brody said softly. “Brody we are fooling ourselves that this is over, she couldn’t have done it alone,” Emma whispered in anger. “Elizabeth, Ariel, and Rebecca? Pardon me if this sounds rude but they aren’t quite Charlie’s Angels material, and if they are who the hell is Charlie?” Brody looked down for a split second. “You know something you aren’t telling me.” Brody looked up at her, “I know that we’re safe here. I know that we need this, as a family and as a couple.” “You’re skirting Brody,” Emma scowled. “Em, easy now — alright?” he warned. “Easy!” she snarled. “Honesty Brody, that’s all I have asked for!” Brody’s eyes lit slightly in amusement, “Actually you asked for a happy life Em,” she tried to interrupt, and he leaned towards her and rested his forehead to hers. “Listen to me, I have nothing right now. I could let my mind go in a thousand different directions but right now we need this Emma, all of us. Stay with me please Em, please,” Brody pleaded softly. “Okay,” she hugged him tightly conceding to his request “Okay.” “Em when they go to school we can dig but right now, it’s us. Nothing else matters as much,” Brody held her as forcefully. “Sorry, I was just so scared Brody,” Emma whispered into his chest. “And then you, Brody I can never lose you again.” “And you won’t, we are going to be fine,” Brody reassured her. “Alright love, we have two downstairs, one in bed, your parents should be here soon…” “Wait, what?” Emma stepped back and smiled up at him. He wiped her tears gently, “We’re celebrating tonight; celebrating life, love, and family.” Emma held his hand to her face and closed her eyes, “Thank you.” “I wouldn’t have a thing to celebrate if not for you,” Brody whispered as he stared directly into her eyes. “I would have London, and been fine. I never could have even imagined…” Emma closed her eyes. “We have a lot to celebrate,” Brody kissed her cheek. “Just like you said earlier,” Emma wrapped her arms around his neck. “Okay again you fill me completely, overflowing even with love.” “Then I’m doing everything that matters.” Brody pulled back and kissed her quickly and stepped back and gave her a silly smile. “Go cook me breakfast wench.” Emma smiled, “Of course.” *** The day was spent much the same as it was the day before. Henry, London, Maddox, and Brody fished off the dock. London determined every single one was too small to keep and insisted they be thrown back. The men all agreed, none dared argue with her expert explanation of what made them too small. If it wasn’t the length, it was the fact that they looked an awful lot like a very rare type of fish, or the gills
were too small. She even went so far as to say she thought she saw another fish crying and worrying. Caroline and Emma played with Lexi and took photos of everyone fishing, swimming, smiling, and enjoying life. Emma thought it was a perfect day and when she stole moments to watch Brody smiling and laughing she decided it was absolutely a perfect day. When they had cleaned up from dinner and sat on the screened in porch Brody disappeared for a bit. He walked out carrying a bag. “Would you all care to join me on the beach?” he asked with a smile. Everyone followed his lead. “I have a few traditions I would like to start with our family,” Brody smiled at them all. “An end of the summer celebration, an anniversary of when I found true love and myself at the same time. Had that not happened we would not all be together today. I want to celebrate family and love. To let go of pain and know that our futures are bright and hopeful, and we are exactly where we’re supposed to be, with each other, those that we love and who love us. Those who share our struggles and our smiles. Those who will forever be in our hearts even if they don’t stand here with us but watch us from above sharing in this very moment with us.” Brody pulled out a package of paper lanterns. “We saw these in one of the many princess movies London and I watched together when she was injured. I thought it fitting that we see if we can light up the sky tonight in celebration.” Brody smiled at London and Maddox. They opened the first one and Brody smiled at London. “For your father London, what shall we write on it?” “I don’t know,” London looked confused. “Okay I’ll start.” Brody opened a sharpie and spoke as he wrote, “Sending love to you, part of us always. Thank you Troy for London, for helping care for Emma and Lexington while I couldn’t.” He handed the sharpie to Emma. “Sending love to you for loving me and London, for becoming who I knew you always were, for being my friend and a shoulder when needed.” Emma looked at London and handed her the sharpie. “Sending love to Daddy, with chocolate cake, Eskimo kisses and big long hugs.” Caroline and Henry wrote on it and smiled. “May I?” Maddox asked. London handed him the sharpie. “Sending love to you for my sister, a heart like hers is born, and it was born of two, thank you.” Henry held it opened and up, and Brody lit it. Emma and London walked it to the water’s edge and Emma let go. “You got it,” Emma smiled at London. London smiled and shook her head yes in response. They watched as it floated in the sky and London blew a kiss to it. “Catch it Daddy.” Emma held back tears, and London turned and grabbed her hand and walked back towards her family. She let go of Emma’s hands and ran into Brody’s arms. “He will always be my Daddy, but you’re Dad,” she whispered to him. “I feel very honored London, and very loved,” Brody kissed her cheek. “Maddox your turn,” London smiled. “Sending love to you, for my son and keeping him as safe, as you knew how.” Brody handed the sharpie to Maddox. “Sending love to you, for keeping me safe, teaching me to read, protecting me so fiercely it caused you to lose your life.” Maddox wrote quickly and handed it to Caroline. “Sending you enough love for thirty years lost and for eternity.” Caroline wrote, and Henry signed
Daddy. “Sending you love sister, with happy memories of the Christmas’s that …for Christmas’s in front of our tree as best friends and playmates.” Emma smiled. They all walked it to the water’s edge, Maddox was left holding it and released it into the sky. He stood watching it and a look of relief crossed his face. They each wrote wishes and dreams on their individual paper lanterns and released them. “Sending up thanks for blessings.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN London and Maddox waved out the back window at Henry and Caroline. “I don’t know why we have to leave so early, school doesn’t start for three days.” London pouted, “Grandma and Grandpa are staying.” Brody laughed, “Haven’t we had enough fun? Maddox you enjoyed your birthday celebration here right?” “Yes, it was incredible,” Maddox smiled. “Good,” Brody smiled back at him. “So now we work on driving whatever it is you pick and then your permit, where did all the time go…I feel like we just met.” “You did silly,” London laughed. “So Brody, I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere else and not straight home?” Emma smiled. “Oh I’m not sure it may be far too exciting,” Brody joked. “What do you two have planned?” London laughed and clapped. “Maybe we could visit some friends, maybe go to the Cape?” Brody asked. “Can we really? Are we really?” London yelped. “Well your aunt said something about a family reunion of sorts, why you don’t want to London?” Brody goaded. “Of course I do!” London cheered. “Maddox, doesn’t that sound like fun?” “Sounds great,” Maddox smiled sweetly at her. “We will get there about dinnertime,” Emma smiled as she looked in the rearview mirror. *** They drove for three hours playing silly car games, like I spy, and I’m going to the beach. They spent the time laughing and singing and being happy. When they pulled into the parking area all three kids were asleep. Emma and Brody got out of the car, Brody stretched and reached his hand down his pants to adjust himself. He saw Emma look away. “You want to do that for me Em?” “No, I just don’t understand why guys always have to have their hands down their pants,” she laughed. Brody walked over to her with a devilish grin on his face. “It gets uncomfortable, rubbing against my boo boo Em.” She started to move away, and he held his arms on top of the car caging her. “It needs to be done again, how about you help me out?” “Brody, there are three sleeping…” Emma was interrupted by his kiss. He moved from her lips down her cheekbone and to her neck. He moved to her collar and she gasped and her head arched back. She heard someone clear their voice, and they both jumped. “You made it,” Tessa giggled. “Sorry,” Emma blushed and saw Collin smirking. “Don’t be, okay let us give you guys a hand.” Collin patted Brody’s back as he walked by, “How are you feeling?” Brody smiled and shook his hand, “Good. Thank you for the invitation.” “You may not thank me once you see the mob scene you are in for,” Collin laughed. “Everyone here?” Emma asked Tessa giggling.
“Of course, it’ll be fun.” Tessa rolled her eyes at Collin. “Yes it always is,” Collin walked past Tessa and kissed her cheek. “I was joking beautiful.” “We should warn you, Harper’s friend is here and very excited that Brody Hines has a son,” Tessa laughed. “Ava, you both met her last time you were here?” “Oh yes,” Emma smiled and Brody rolled his eyes. Tessa and Emma both laughed. “Can I wake them up?” Tessa asked grinning. “Of course,” Brody smiled. London woke giggling as Tessa tickled her belly, “Aunt Tessa.” “London, I’m so glad you are here.” Maddox opened his eyes and looked at Tessa. “Hey Maddox how are you? We’ve been worried about you.” “I’m good, thank you,” Maddox smiled back and got out of the car. “Thank you, by the way, for calling Emma…Mom…that night.” “Of course,” Tessa hugged him. Maddox looked shocked at first, and Brody smiled and gave him a nod. Maddox hugged her back. “Alright, it’s dinner time.” Tessa reached in and unbuckled Lexington and hugged her tightly. Lexington’s lip quivered, and she looked around until she saw Brody, “Daddy.” “Oh Lexington this is Tessa…” Brody began, and she stretched her arms out to him, “Sorry Tessa.” “No, that’s okay,” Tessa handed Lexi to Brody. “You’ll get use to me baby girl.” *** They walked through the house and out to the deck, and Maddox looked up at Brody, “There’s a lot of people here Dad.” “We’ll be fine, just smile.” Brody wrapped his arm around Maddox’s shoulder and held Lexi in his other arm. When they all walked out the boisterous crowd quieted immediately. “Alright everyone knows Emma and London. I’m sure you all saw Lexi and Brody at the service for Troy, but they have no clue who you are,” Tessa smiled. “London? Will you introduce everyone?” London beamed with pride and stepped forward as if she were on stage, “Of course, this is my Mom, but you knew that and Lexington Grace is my baby sister, and I have a big brother his name is Maddox, and he turned sixteen yesterday, and he’s blushing now,” everyone laughed. “And you know Brody, or Dad. Daddy is in heaven and always will be my Daddy, but now I have a Dad here too. He’s a good Dad. He loves us and even …” Brody touched her shoulder and smiled, “It’s okay London you don’t have to try to explain. They all look quite friendly, but thank you Princess.” London smiled and let out a deep breath shaking her head yes. “Maddox and Brody, this is Alex and Phoebe Remington, Liam and AJ, this is Jake, Sarah, and Bella. Ben, Kendall, and Maggie. Aunt Margaret and Uncle John, Jade and Ryan, Luke, Riley, Jackson and Lauren. CJ, Matthew, Harper, and Ava. “ Brody smiled proudly at her, “Thank you London.” “No problem Daddio,” she hugged him. Maddox looked quickly in Harper’s direction and quickly away. “Well Happy Birthday Maddox,” Tessa’s father John said loudly breaking the silence. “Sixteen huh?” “Yes sir and thank you,” Maddox glanced up quickly at him. “So we have to celebrate,” Tessa’s brother Jake laughed. “Sixteen that was a good year. Remind me to tell you some stories Maddox.” Everyone yelled ‘no’ and Jake laughed. Eventually, everyone had wished Maddox a Happy Birthday and hugged him.
“You okay?” Brody smiled at him. “Yes, a bit overwhelmed,” Maddox admitted. “Did you talk to Harper?” Brody prodded. “No,” Maddox looked away. “Okay,” Brody knew to leave it alone. “Maddox come to the beach and help me find shells until dinner?” London grabbed his hand, and he willingly followed. “How’s he doing?” Collin asked. “Surprisingly he seems very well.” Brody watched as he laughed at London who was doing cartwheels and laughing. Collin and Brody watched as all the younger people gathered around them. Brody looked uneasy. “He’ll be fine, let him get used to all the attention now, when he goes to school it’s going to be overwhelming. But I think he’ll be fine, seems like an amazing kid Brody,” Collin smiled. “He’s absolutely wonderful.” Brody laughed as Lexi took his sunglasses off of him and put them on herself. “They all are.” Collin smiled, “Three in less than two years, overwhelming?” “You might think so but no not at all, it’s awe- inspiring,” Brody said watching them all on the beach. “I hear you, we had the boys about nine months after we got married, which was less than a month after we met and then Harper was here less than a year later.” Collin laughed, “Three in diapers.” “That’s a bit overwhelming,” Brody laughed. “I can’t do the poopy diapers, huh Lexington?” *** Emma watched Brody laughing and smiling and it made her smile. “He’s a great guy Emma,” Tessa patted her back. “I know,” Emma whispered. “Does it bother you? You know that I was married to Troy and …” “Troy treated you like shit Emma, I knew it, they all knew it. We also know he changed and was finally being a good Daddy to London. I’m sure Brody had something to do with that change, we all see how he cares for London and you. So no, it makes me happy that you have found someone who loves London now that he isn’t here. I miss him, but well, I miss him.” Tessa smiled at Emma, and they hugged. *** After dinner, the younger people made s’mores and walked out into the ocean. They were splashing each other and Brody watched Maddox standing at the shoreline smiling at them. “Is he okay?” Emma asked kissing Brody on top of the head. “Is Lexington in bed?” Brody asked as he took her hand and kissed it. “Yes, Aunt Margret insisted she sleep in with her and Uncle John,” Emma smiled and sat on the deck with her back against his chair. “If she wakes do you think she’ll be scared?” Brody asked. “She fell asleep in your arms, I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Emma smiled up at him and then looked back at the kids. “Do you see that?” Brody laughed. Emma watched as Ava was talking to Maddox. “I do,” she smiled. “Do you think he’s alight?” “I think this is a safe place for us to let him try to figure it out,” Brody rubbed her shoulders. “I suppose. I wonder what’s going on with Harper, they haven’t even spoke that I’ve seen.” Emma looked up, and Tessa smiled as she sat next to them.
“They’re mad at each other,” Tessa said. “Why?” Emma asked. “She’s mad at him for not telling you and he’s mad at her for telling me.” Tessa smiled and handed them a glass of wine. “Thanks but I’m on some pain medication. Well not yet today, but I’m a bit sore,” Brody smiled. “Okay,” Tessa set it down. “I’ll take that,” Jade, another cousin of Troy’s, smiled and sat down. “Hey Jade,” Emma smiled. “Look at your kids.” “I know, all grown up. Is Lexi asleep? I’m having a baby moment,” Jade grinned. “She is, why not have another?” Emma asked seriously. “Please don’t give her any crazy ideas,” Ryan kissed Jade quickly and sat down. Jade laughed, “I want another.” “Jade, that’s honestly not funny,” Ryan looked at her. “I wasn’t trying to be,” she warned. “Oh heck no Jade,” Tessa laughed. “You both know by arguing with me you’re making me want it more?” Jade glared at Ryan. “Oh Jade let’s have five,” Ryan smiled, “Maybe six.” Jade tried not to laugh, but she couldn’t help it, “No just one.” Ryan shook his head and smiled, “Starting now?” Ryan stood and held out his hand, and she smiled, “Maybe later.” “Maybe?” Ryan looked intensely at her. “I think at this point in life we have to make sure our children are being safe. We’re almost old enough to be grandparents,” Alex joined in. “Speak for yourself,” Jake walked up and pushed him. “Hey Brody Hines, I’m Jake Ross.” “Nice to meet you Jake Ross,” Brody smiled. “I love your music,” Jake smiled enthusiastically. “Jake leave the poor guy alone about music,” Kendall smiled and sat. “How are you Emma?” “Good, and how are you?” Emma smiled and moved over for her to sit next to her. “I’m good,” Kendall sat down and hugged her. “Where’s Ben?” Emma asked looking around. “Work call,” she motioned to the house. John walked out with Brody’s phone and handed it to him. “This was ringing in the bedroom next to us.” “I apologize, thank you.” Brody looked at his phone. “Everything alright?” Emma looked up at him. He kissed her quickly, “My brother called, I’ve been trying to contact him. I should call him back. Please excuse me.” Emma stood up so that he could get away, he winced when he stood. “You need to rest,” Emma said looking up at him and grabbing his face. He smiled and held his hands over hers and rubbed his face gently into her hand, “I have been, all day long.” “Okay, go call your brother. I’m going to see how Maddox is doing.” Emma stood on her toes and kissed him. “I can go with you,” he rested his forehead against hers. “You need to call Bobby.” Emma stepped back and smiled, “Go…now.” Brody smiled and walked away. “Damn Emma,” Jade laughed. “I think he likes you.”
“Yeah me too,” Emma blushed. “I’m going to see how Maddox is feeling.” “If you need to talk Emma, I’m a trained professional,” Jade smiled warmly and giggled. “Thank you but Brody…well I’m alright. I really am,” Emma smiled and walked away. *** “Bobby, finally,” Brody said when his brother answered. “Is it true? Is Rebecca dead?” Bobby asked. “Yes,” Brody said softly. “She tried to kill Maddox, who I had no idea about? She was behind all the stuff you’ve been through?” Bobby asked quickly. “Yes, and Maddox is my son,” Brody’s tone was guarded. “Okay, what the hell is …” Bobby began. “How did you hear?” Brody asked cautiously. “Bo had someone drag me out of the field, my commander told me you had called but didn’t leave any information,” Bobby was annoyed. “Bo? Is he there?” Brody asked. “No, but I have leave coming and I’m going to see him, he wants to discuss something with me, something about our father,” Bobby was clearly agitated. “Bobby, don’t go to him until you hear back from me. I think you and I need to get together, very soon,” Brody said sadly. “Fly home, I’ll be done here in three days,” Bobby offered. “Give me a couple days to figure this out alright, wait for my call,” Brody sighed. “Will do,” Bobby agreed. “Bobby, Google my name, look what you have missed, while you are doing whatever the hell it is you do, and be careful, please,” Brody’s voice was tender. “You to Brody,” Bobby hung up. Brody walked out, and Emma and Tessa were fussing over Maddox. “How’s he doing?” Brody looked at Maddox and smiled. “He’s doing extremely well. One of his stitches has dissolved, and the others are almost there.” Tessa pulled his shirt up to show Brody. Ava and Harper walked out, and Harper gasped out loud causing everyone to turn to look at her. Harper was embarrassed by her reaction and looked at everyone. “Are you okay?” Tessa asked. “No! That was a stupid, stupid thing you did! You could have died.” Harper turned and walked away quickly. Maddox frowned and looked down. “Well I saw it on the news and thought you were very brave.” Ava smiled and sat next to him. “Thank you,” Maddox said softly and looked up in the direction Harper went. Emma smiled sympathetically at Maddox, “Are you tired?” “Yes,” Maddox stood up. “Okay let’s go get you something for the pain, and get you to sleep.” Emma wrapped her arm around his back and guided him towards the house. “Hey London, you ready for bed?” Brody smiled. “Do I have to?” London whined. “No, Princess, just stay out of the water, or you’ll be waterlogged.” Brody smiled and followed Emma and Maddox in the house. “I’m really fine, I’m just tired,” Maddox assured them.
“Okay, so you don’t need a pill?” Emma asked. “No, I’m sure I’ll sleep well tonight,” Maddox said unable to hide the sadness in his voice. “Maddox, she was afraid you would be hurt,” Emma hugged him. “She lost my trust,” Maddox said sadly. “Trying to ensure your safety Maddox,” Emma pulled back and held his face. “She cared enough to get help for you, thank God.” “All very overwhelming emotions I’m far from ready to deal with. I trust my family; you, Dad, London, my grandparents and I know Lexington’s not talking,” Maddox said softly. Emma looked up at Brody and she looked confused and at a loss, not at all a reaction Brody was used to when it came to the three children that were theirs. “Em, would you go check to see how London is faring, she looked to be ready to drop at any moment,” Brody kissed her head and smiled. “I love you Maddox Hines.” Emma kissed his cheek and walked out the door. “So you’re mad at her?” Brody sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m exhausted,” Maddox admitted. “I do know she embarrassed me. That was the first thing she’s said to me. I don’t understand if we’re friends why’s she so angry at me. But I also know I really would like to go to sleep. Maybe we could talk tomorrow Dad.” “Alright but if you need anything come get me, I’m serious, at two in the morning if you want to talk come wake me,” Brody hugged him. “I love you, goodnight.” “I love you, please tell Emma the same, I think I forgot,” Maddox said and laid down to sleep. *** Brody walked out onto the deck and looked at all the people still laughing and having a good time, he knew they all loved Emma and London and that they were kind and good people. He knew they were safe here and that his suspicions needed to be kept in check so that he could fully enjoy his time with the people he loved. He watched Emma sitting on the deck floor laughing with all of them, she felt him and turned and started to stand. “Emma may I steal your husband for a few moments?” Collin asked. “Sure,” Emma smiled at Brody. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” Collin asked. Brody followed him down the stairs into a room under the deck. Collin punched in a code, and the door unlocked. “Wow what the hell is this, The Bat Cave?” Brody chuckled. Collin laughed, “Well sort of. It’s an operations area of sorts and a safe room, it’s come in handy before.” “Maybe I should build one,” Brody looked around in awe. “You have a tunnel Hines’,” Collin smirked. “How do you know that?” Brody gasped. “When Troy died, I looked into things. I should have been around when you went missing, but for some reason I wasn’t,” Collin said expressionless and unapologetic. “London, you wanted to be sure she was safe,” Brody thought out loud. “Yes, of course. I have people working in and around the London area right now.” Collin flipped on a few of the computer screens in the security center and hit a few keys, “This guy, is he a person of interest?” “That’s James, and yes I’ve been trying to find him for a few months now,” Brody looked at the still shots on the screen.
“Why, what do you need from him?” Collin asked. “He was there when I went missing, he was with me at the place I was staying after hell as I call it. The resort of sorts I guess, women paid to be dominated.” Brody sat back and let out a deep breath. “Okay Brody, we have him under surveillance, and I have to tell you this shit is not good. He’s not directly involved that we can tell, but the place Maddox was held, there are no leads, your sister didn’t do this alone, so I have to ask you Brody, are you hiding anything from me that could help blow this out of the water, anything, even something you feel is trivial?” Collin sat back and watched him for a moment. “I think I do have something, but Emma…” Brody groaned loudly and stood up, “Fuck!” “I’m all about open communication Brody. We should work through this tonight when they go to sleep, enjoy the rest of the evening and then brainstorm for an hour or so. If we don’t get back up there, they’ll worry, and we are supposed to be having a good time.” Collin smiled brightly, and Brody laughed. “It is uncomfortable for you?” Brody asked. “It was at the beginning and to be honest when my head’s in work mode, when I need to solve a problem. I sometimes get less than hospitable. That lands me on the shit list,” Collin laughed. “I still enjoy my wife, and I certainly don’t enjoy the cold shoulder.” Brody followed Collin out the door. “We’re safe here right. I’m having a hard time knowing London, Lexington, and Maddox aren’t under my roof.” “Of course, I have eyes everywhere,” Collin patted him on the shoulder and pointed to the cameras. “Where did you two go?” Tessa asked leaning over the railing watching them walk up the stairs. “The Bat Cave beautiful,” Collin whispered and laughed. “Oh, so does Brody know you’ve been spying?” Tessa whispered in his ear and hugged him. “Yes,” Collin said softly against her neck. Emma smiled a goofy smile as she turned towards Brody, “London’s in bed.” “Em are you intoxicated?” Brody tried not to smile as he looked at Emma’s silly grin… “I only had two or five glasses of wine,” she giggled and quickly straightened her face. “What happened between two and five Love?” Brody looked at her in amusement. “Not sure,” she shrugged, “But six is waiting and six is afraid of seven.” “Oh really, and why’s that?” Brody smiled at her in amusement. “Because seven eight nine,” Emma laughed and so did he. Brody sat down, and watched Emma smile and giggle. He couldn’t help but smile, she was happy, so happy. “Music Man,” Emma smiled up at him, “Take me to bed.” Brody smiled, “Anything you ask Em.” “Goodnight everyone,” Emma stood and stumbled. Brody caught her by the elbow and smiled, “You’re drunk.” “I am not…okay maybe a little.” Emma concentrated and held her fingers close together showing him what a little meant. “Some men may find that gesture offensive Em,” he laughed. “Not my Music Man, he’s this big,” she smiled and stretched her arms wide and laughed. “Wow and you can still walk,” Brody chuckled. “No, but I can ride.” Emma cocked her head to the side and winked in an attempt to be sexy. “Now how could I pass up an offer like that?” Brody kissed her head, and they started up the stairs. “Lexi, is Lexi still asleep?” Emma yawned when they walked into the room. Brody nodded his head yes and smiled. “Maddox is asleep?” “I’ll check, and London’s sleeping with the older girls…Harper, Ava, Riley, Maggie, and Sydney?” Brody smiled proudly at her. “Yes, well she’s asleep I doubt they are.” Emma tried to step out of her shorts and almost fell over
and laughed. “Stand still Em, I’ll help you,” Brody gave her a steamy smile. He grabbed a nightgown out of the bag and turned towards her. She lifted her arms in the air and smiled. He slowly lifted her shirt, making sure his fingers slid up her sides causing her to squirm. He held the shirt in his hand and folded it haphazardly as he watched Emma’s eyes widen as she chewed on her lip. He took his time walking to the clothes basket to set it in. He slowly pulled his shirt over his head and looked at her as he dropped it in the basket. Brody walked up to her and bowed his head and sucked softly on her bathing suit top covering her already erect nipples, and she moaned loudly. He stood back and licked his lips slowly as he looked at her trying to decide where to start. He stalked slowly towards her, and she gasped in anticipation of what was to come. He placed his lips around hers and softly sucked and pulled back. Emma’s mouth gaped slightly, and he rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. He kissed her neck and pulled the cup of her bathing suit down exposing her breast and kneaded it gently as he kissed slowly, seductively down her neck and finally took it in his mouth. Emma moaned loudly and moved her hand down unbuttoning his shorts. She took him in her hands and rubbed him against her, and he groaned. “Em your skin tastes sweet as always, with a mix of the seas saltiness,” he whispered into her ear as he untied her suit top, “Delicious.” He removed her top, “I’ve wanted you all day.” Emma took his hand and placed it on her butt, “I want you…I want to try something.” Emma put his hand lower with hers covering his. “Em,” his body quivered. “Just be gentle please,” Emma moaned as his finger caressed her. “You are sure this is what you want Em?” his voice was dark. She pushed her backside into his hand, “I’m sure I want to try.” Brody lifted her chin with his hand, and she looked up into his fiery eyes, “You’re sure Em?” “Yes, just like that,” she arched her back as his pinky finger pushed slowly, gently against unchartered territory. He grabbed her back and pulled her into a harsh passion filled kiss and she whined in pain. Brody immediately stopped, “I’m sorry.” “No, it’s my back, I think I got too much sun.” Emma looked up apologetically at him. He let out a frustrated breath and smiled. “Turn around let me see.” Emma reluctantly released her arms from his body and pouted as she looked up at him. He smiled, “That will take weeks of play Em and lots of lube. Now turn around love.” Brody cringed when he saw her back. “Do we have any aloe?” “No, but there is some in the bathroom, I saw it earlier. Is it bad?” Emma looked over her shoulder at him. “That ass is magnificent,” Brody clenched his jaw. Emma giggled, “Thanks, I’m glad you like my ass.” “Mine Em, my ass,” Brody bent down and nipped it and kissed it softly. “Ok yours, but how is YOUR back,” Emma smiled. “Kind of resembles a lobster. I’ll fetch some aloe and possibly some lubricant. Fuck Em you are such a goddess.” Brody looked up at her and clenched his jaw, “Lie on your front I’ll be right back.” “Hey Music Man,” Emma yawned, “You're pitching a tent.” Brody looked at her confused, and she pointed to his erection. “If you're going out there you should cover up a bit.” Brody smiled and bent down and kissed her swiftly and chuckled, “Right you are Love.”
*** Brody walked out of the bathroom with aloe in his hands, and John crept out of the bedroom. “Is Lexington alright?” Brody asked quietly. John smiled, “She’s asleep, hasn’t woken up once. I do want to tell you those walls are paper thin Brody and I would hate any noise to wake her at this hour.” Brody looked into John’s smiling eyes and returned his smile and nodded in agreement. “Thank you.” Brody quietly opened the door to the room Maddox was sleeping in, he was still asleep. “Goodnight son, I love you,” Brody whispered and closed the door. He knocked lightly on the room the girls were in, the light was still on. Harper opened the door and she asked if everything was alright. “Yes thank you. I was just checking to see if London was asleep,” Brody smiled. Harper opened the door wide and he saw her sleeping peacefully. “Thank you girls very much. I’m sure this time with you all will be one of the highlights of her summer.” “Mr. Hines, London was singing a song, well part of a song earlier about the sea, it is beautiful. Does this mean you’ll have a new album out soon?” Ava asked. Brody smiled, “That song is one that my son has been playing with. I can’t take credit for that.” Harper smiled and looked down. “Thank you again,” Brody said and walked out. “Brody,” Harper followed him out, “Is he alright?” “Physically, he’s healing very quickly. Emotionally, it’s going to be a long road. He amazes me. He’s a kind, loving, gentle boy. Far from what anyone else would be having lived what he did for nearly sixteen years. He’ll learn, but it must be his choice, we mustn’t force it on him. I believe one hundred percent that Maddox is a wonderful young man,” Brody said and looked at Harper with a gentle smile. “I’m sorry I was rude,” Harper said sadly. “Harper I don’t think you were rude, you’re a kind young lady. I know you’re concerned about him. You also have a great heart and head on your shoulders. I’m forever in your debt for the phone call that probably saved his life,” Brody hugged her. “Thank you.” Ava opened the door and gasped. Brody looked at Ava and smiled and then back at Harper, “Thank you Harper for all you have done.” Harper smiled, “Goodnight Brody.” Brody walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He looked at Emma who hadn’t moved. He smiled and sat next to her and squirted aloe on his hands rubbing them together to warm the cold liquid. He bent and kissed the small of her back, and his tongue skimmed gently into and between her Venus dimples and she arched her back ever so slightly. He gently rubbed her shoulders and down her back hoping it would cool the burn on her beautiful skin. He rubbed her shoulders and leaned forward and kissed her cheek, “Love does that feel alright?” Emma didn’t respond, he looked around and saw that she was asleep. He closed his eyes and chuckled a deep disappointed chuckle and sat back and covered her. He stood up and ran his hands through his hair and crossed his arms over his chest watching her sleep peacefully. His phone vibrated in his pocket alerting him of a text message - You free…Collin - be right there…B. *** Brody walked down the stairs beneath the deck, and the door made a clicking sound and opened.
“Hey,” Brody said as he walked in. “Hi, I’m going to leave the door opened, the cooling system seems to be down, it’s hot as hell in here.” Collin punched a few buttons and turned to Brody, “So what do you have?” “I have a file my father insisted I keep safe, it has birth and death certificates linking us to the royal family,” Brody huffed. Collin chuckled, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” “If this is what’s causing all of this heartache it’s certainly not good, besides it means nothing to me. However, my uncle…” Brody began. “Bo Hines?” Collin punched a few keys on the computer and displayed surveillance photos. “Bloody hell Abraham,” Brody leaned forward for a closer look. “Does this look familiar to you?” Collin pointed to a lavish building surrounded by pools and out buildings, beautifully landscaped grounds, and a fence that was at least twelve feet high. Brody looked at it closer. “Yes…yes it does. That’s the resort or compound. Where the hell is it?” “The Netherlands, in the hills. Listen, this place is undoubtedly linked to people with big money, and it’s only two years old. It’s fronted as a resort and was in dire financial trouble until about a year ago. Brody, I think this is where the missing funds from London’s Child went. We’ve been watching it for two weeks now. There doesn’t appear to be minors or sex slaves here. It’s consensual, the women and men who pay to be here are from prominent families. We haven’t linked your uncle as of yet, but we’re working on it.” Collin sat back. “Okay, so it’s not illegal,” Brody was frustrated and sat quietly for a moment. “Where do the employees come from? The Doms or Subs who serve the clients?” Collin took a deep breath, “My assumption Brody?” “Probably the same as mine. Human trafficking, which…FUCKING PIGS!” Brody snapped. “You need to stay calm and level headed about this,” Collin directed, “If not, this will continue.” “He dragged Bobby out of his field work to tell him about Rebecca, he wants to talk to him about what I think is the paperwork my father left me.” Brody looked up at Collin, “He isn’t safe.” “No, where does he work?” Collin asked grabbing a pen and pad. “I have no fucking idea, some secretive operation for the country,” Brody was frustrated. “Who knows about this file?” Collin asked. “Me and Emma that is it. Bobby wants me to meet him when he has leave.” Brody looked at him, “Emma won’t like it Collin, fuck I don’t relish the thought of leaving them again.” “In order to keep them all safe, this needs to end,” Collin looked in his eyes. “Soldiers leave their families every day to protect our country, this is no different. You’re protecting your family and in my deepest hope, putting an end to this appalling human trafficking.” “I started London’s Child for a reason, and now Maddox, my God Collin; I can’t look away until this has been exposed. I know that fuck has something to do with it, I feel it, my mother despised him, I’m … When do we start?” Brody let out a breath and looked at him. “We talk to Emma and Tessa tomorrow, I want the kids to stay at our place back home, it’s far more secure than even here. You and I will do this together,” Collin stood up. “Try to get some sleep Brody.” “I’ll try,” Brody shook his hand. “I don’t know how I could ever repay your kindness or what it must have cost to attain all this information, but I promise you this, I’ll do whatever I can.” “This topic hits very close to home with me Brody, between you and I, Tessa knows what I lived as a young person. I can understand what your son has lived, and I can also see that he’s a strong young man, and a good person, he’s going to get through it. I don’t need repayment, I need vengeance, and I need to do it as legally as possible so I can help put an end to this,” Collin fierce look did not fade, “We do this soon.”.
*** “What are you doing out here?” Harper whispered causing Maddox to jump. “What do you want?” Maddox rolled his eyes. “Are you spying?” Harper scowled. “That is absolutely none of your business. If you want to get all up in arms about it that’s pretty damn judgmental coming from you. What are you doing out here? You know what forget it, just leave me alone,” Maddox sneered and walked quickly towards the beach. Harper stormed after him, “No! What were you doing outside my father’s…office?” “That’s his office?” Maddox scowled. “Whatever, answer my question.” Harper put her hands on her hips and looked at him in a demanding fashion. “I won’t repeat this Harper, so listen carefully. I don’t trust you. You betrayed my trust, you turned your back on me when, from the very little I know about friendship, I needed a friend. I’m hurt by this, and I’m getting over it rather quickly. I won’t be yelled at by someone my own age and I won’t second guess any decisions I have had to or will have to make in the future about people who I’ve put in danger. I will be cordial to you because I know we’ll have to deal with one another for some time. It’s truly uncomfortable being here around you and you made it even more so by yelling at me in front of your entire family this evening.” Maddox looked away. “You don’t just stop being friends with someone Maddox, I was trying to…” Harper began. “Go to your library or Google search attachment disorder sweetheart, and stay the hell away from me,” Maddox started to walk away. “Please Maddox, please don’t…” Harper began to cry. Maddox heard her and turned around and looked at her, “That isn’t going to work.” “I’m not putting on a show, I missed you! You scared me!” Harper stormed up to him and pushed him. “You haven’t messaged me in days,” she shoved him again. Maddox stepped back and placed his hand over his wound were she had hit him, “You didn’t reply to mine!” She shoved him again and then covered her face and cried. Maddox placed his hand over his heart and turned to walk away. He looked up and saw Brody, Tessa, Emma, Collin, and Ava standing on the deck, he let out a deep breath and started walking towards the house. “Don’t you walk away from me!” Harper yelled and threw a rock at his leg. Maddox turned around and stormed towards her stopping before he got to her, “Harper, you have an audience, so just turn it off.” Harper stormed after him when he began walking away and shoved him, “I HATE YOU!” Maddox turned around and looked at her with hurt in his eyes. She sobbed and fell to her knees. He hesitated for a moment, and Collin and Brody ran up to them. “Are you okay?” Brody asked, “Let me see.” Brody lifted his shirt, “Damn it.” “Dad it’s not a big deal, it doesn’t even hurt,” Maddox looked at the ground. “Harper Ann, what the hell is going on with you?” Collin bent down and lifted her up as she continued to cry. “I want to go home Daddy, please,” Harper cried into his neck. “I would like to go to bed please,” Maddox said panicked, looking at Brody. “Okay, but someone needs to look at this.” Brody walked with Maddox behind Collin and Harper. Collin sat Harper on the chaise and looked at Tessa confused, and she smiled softly, “I have her, you
go see if Maddox needs anything.” “I want answers Harper,” he said sternly. “Collin,” Tessa stomped, “GO!” He looked at Tessa and exhaled deeply and turned following Brody and Maddox into the house. “Let me see,” Collin said grabbing the first aid kit and started cleaning the blood. “Okay one of the stitches isn’t healed completely, but it’s just the outer layer. I’m going to put some surgical glue on you and it will be all better, and then I’m going to kick my daughter’s ass.” Maddox tensed up when he said that and Collin let out a frustrated breath. “Not literally Maddox, I won’t hurt her, you and I have been through this before. Although, I’m not sure why after that little show you would mind.” Collin smiled up at Maddox who relaxed as he finished up. “Good news, this will be dry soon and will hold in water. You may be able to swim tomorrow, you like to swim if I remember correctly.” “I don’t wish to cause her anymore angst, I would like to go home,” Maddox said sadly. “I’m pretty sure she’s the one causing the pain here Maddox,” Collin said as he set the kit on the shelf and cleaned up the mess he had left on the counter. Brody chuckled, and Collin and Maddox looked at him confused, “You all set Maddox?” “Yes, when can we leave?” Maddox asked. “We are here for a couple more days…” Brody began. “And then what?” Maddox snapped. “Then we go home,” Brody said confused. “Will you be joining us Dad? Or do you have other plans?” Maddox scowled. Brody looked at Collin and shook his head, “Can we talk about this tomorrow Maddox?” Emma walked in and took Maddox’s hand, “Come on let's get you back to bed.” Maddox didn’t move, he stood and looked at Brody. “We will talk tomorrow Maddox.” Tessa and Harper walked in. “Harper has something she would like to say to Maddox before he goes to bed.” Harper glared at Tessa and then at Maddox, “I’m sorry.” Maddox looked down, “Thank you.” “Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on?” Ava said loudly. “Ava Links,” Tessa gasped. “What, why are they fighting, why did she hit him? Seriously aren’t you all like the Leave It To Beaver family?” Ava asked. “We’re not related,” Harper and Maddox snapped at the same time. Tessa laughed, “Ava and Harper go to bed.” “Come on Maddox,” Emma pulled his hand. Maddox’s glacial stare bore through piercing Brody’s already tormented heart, “Thank you Mom.” He turned away from Brody and followed Emma. *** Emma walked down the stairs, and Tessa was laughing with Brody and Collin were not happy. “Collin it’s cute, she likes him,” Tessa giggled again. “There’s nothing cute about my daughter liking any boy, or hitting him Tessa,” Collin growled. Tessa looked at Collin, and he closed his eyes to try not to react to her. “She’s a senior,” Tessa goaded. “I’m well aware of what she is Tessa. She is too damn young to be losing it over a boy, and if you continue trying to piss me off I will…” Collin stopped and let out an exasperated breath. “Throw me over your shoulder and spank me?” Tessa smiled broadly at him.
“See damn you, that’s where she gets it,” Collin gave a warning glare and Brody laughed out loud. “Oh no, you don’t, I have been with two people in my life, let’s talk about who…” Tessa started, and Collin grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder and stormed towards their bedroom. Tessa laughed and waved, “Goodnight Emma and Brody.” Emma looked at Brody, “Are you okay?” Brody looked up and grabbed her hugging her tightly. “I am, are you Em? Are you feeling alright?” Emma looked up at him and smiled, “I feel better, but you look like something is bugging you, is it Maddox, I don’t think he’s really mad at you I just think…” Brody kissed Emma and pulled back and held his forehead against hers, “I love you so damn much.” Emma smiled, “I love you too.” “I’m exhausted, could we go up to bed?” Brody asked not waiting for an answer and took her hand. They walked into the bedroom, and he held her tightly. “So much Em.” Emma rubbed her hands through his hair. “I woke up naked and alone, I’m not sure you really love me that much.” Brody smiled, “I left to get aloe and came back, and you were asleep.” “You didn’t wake me?” Emma asked. “I rubbed aloe on you and kissed you a bit, you didn’t wake up. I figured I should let you sleep.” Brody yawned. Emma giggled, “Let’s sleep.” “Are you sure you don’t want…” Brody started. “I was drunk,” Emma turned bright red. “But you remember?” Brody asked concerned. “Of course, but…I had too much to drink I wouldn’t,” Emma let out a breath and pushed her head in his chest, “Can we sleep?” “Of course,” Brody kissed her. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you or to you. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about Em.” “But I am so could we stop talking about it?” she scowled looking down and ashamed. “Yes,” Brody pulled the covers down and she climbed in bed. He laid next to her and pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back until she fell asleep. *** Harper walked outside and sat by the water and cried. Ava was mad at her, her father was mad at her, she was sure Emma and Brody hated her. Maddox hated her, she told him she hated him, and she pushed him and hurt him. She wanted desperately to turn back time, to take it all back. She stood up and walked into the water and sat, it was cold, but she didn’t care, she laid down and looked up at the night sky desperately seeking a fix to her predicament. Maddox walked quietly onto the deck, and down the stairs, he took a deep breath and started towards the beach. The moonlight reflected on the water, and he saw something that looked like a body in the water, he walked closer and saw that it was. He dropped his bag and ran quickly into the water and grabbed her. “Harper what are you doing?” He screamed taking her head in his hands and pulling her up into him. He held her tightly against him, and she shook from the chilly night air against her wet skin. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t hate you Maddox,” Harper sobbed. “I was scared that you could have died, and I …Maddox I don’t hate you. I think…I was so scared hearing the things she said to you and mad that you didn’t tell someone and confused about feelings.” “Okay you are shaking let’s get you out of the water.” Maddox was scared. “Why are you in the water?”
“I don’t know,” Harper wiped her face and stood up. He grabbed his bag and pulled out a sweatshirt. “Here, take that off and put this on.” Harper looked at him confused. “Your shirt Harper, its wet, and you are cold, change it.” Harper turned around and lifted her shirt, and he put the dry one over her head. She pulled it down and turned around, “Thank you.” “Okay now you should go inside, go to bed before you get in trouble.” Maddox looked towards the house, and Collin was storming towards them. Tessa ran out behind him throwing on a pair of shorts. “Shit,” Harper whispered and started to laugh. Maddox looked at her like she was crazy and she laughed harder. “Stop laughing,” Maddox pleaded quietly. “Collin stop,” Tessa yelled, and he did not, she ran in front of him and pushed on his chest. “Stop and cool down, now Collin.” “Our daughter was just shirtless Tessa,” Collin snapped. “With a fucking boy!” Tessa looked at him and raised her eyebrow, “Okay that’s a problem, but one we will discuss and not jump to conclusions alright?” “I am not in the mood to be calm Tessa,” Collin sneered. “Take a walk then,” Tessa demanded. He looked at her as if she had gone mad, “Take a walk Collin!” He turned in frustration and walked down the beach. Tessa motioned for Harper and Maddox and walked towards them. She saw a bag sitting on the beach and grabbed it, “Come on you two.” Tessa and the kids sat on the deck. Collin returned the same time Brody and Emma walked out. “You guys want to have a seat?” Tessa smiled softly at them. Collin gave her a dirty look. “Save it, I’m pissed at you too now pal.” “Excuse me?” Collin gasped. Tessa rolled her eyes at him. “Harper was upset and went and laid in the water. Maddox walked out here with a backpack full of things, he isn’t talking, but I have my suspicions.” “Maddox what’s going on?” Brody asked. “Why don’t you tell us Dad, you and him,” Maddox scowled. “Okay I’m confused,” Brody shook his head. “The door was opened, he heard you two,” Harper clarified. “Gee thanks Harper,” Maddox snapped. “I thought it was okay,” Harper said sadly. “What are they talking about Brody?” Emma asked nervously. “Em, I was waiting until tomorrow, or today now. I want to talk to you, but not like this,” Brody grabbed her hands. “He is going back to England,” Maddox snapped. “Wow Maddox, come on this …” Brody started. “No, this is about me too! None of you would be in danger. Rebecca wouldn’t have come looking for me…” Maddox stopped. “I want to leave and I was going to take care of things, but Harper, damn it!” “Maddox, this isn’t something you can take care of.” Brody took his hand, but Maddox pulled it away. “I’m what they want, to keep quiet, that’s it!” Maddox yelled. Collin sat and looked at Brody and then Tessa, “Maddox this isn’t your fault, this has everything to do with a delusional…” “Ross where is my daughter?” Lucas Links stormed onto the deck. “Luke what are you doing?” Tessa stood up. “My daughter called hysterical asking me to come and get her, where the fuck is she?” Lucas snapped.
“You need to watch your tone with my wife Links,” Collin stood. “I fucking told you twenty years ago Tessa that this asshole was no good for you,” Lucas clenched his jaw. “Lucas, pull it together,” Tessa warned. “Fuck that! Tessa, she called me crying, do you have any idea what it’s like...” he stopped and took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you call?” Tessa asked standing up and walking towards him. “What are you thinking Tessa?” Lucas gasped and shook his head. “I think you…” Tessa started. “Harper would you go tell Ava I’m here please?” Lucas looked past Tessa. “If she’s in any sort of danger Tessa, I swear to God…” “Your daughter’s not in danger, Lucas sit please,” Tessa said calmly. “I don’t want to sit,” Lucas scowled. “Okay, please trust me,” Tessa said looking down. “You I can, them not so much,” Lucas whispered looking towards Brody. “He’s all over the news Tessa, people are dropping like flies around him.” “What did Ava say?” Tessa asked calmly. “That Harper went ape shit on the boy and told her it was none of her damn business,” Lucas snarled. “So whatever the hell is going on here Tessa, I never would have allowed her to come if I knew they were here.” “Lucas she is upset because she and Harper are fighting, they did nothing wrong. Trust me when I tell you that,” Tessa said softly. “My daughter’s life Tessa, every part of it is my business, this was a really bad call on your part. She’s mine so I’ll make decisions for her, not you got it?” Lucas glared at her. “I am sorry,” Tessa looked down. “But you don’t get to talk to me like that anymore Lucas.” “Someone needs to, your ass would have been better off with me than wrapped up in this kind of shit,” Lucas snapped. “That’s enough Links,” Collin walked towards them. “Your daughter is perfectly safe here, and as far as Tessa goes and where she would have been better off, that was twenty years ago. I can guarantee I could kick your…” “Alright enough,” Tessa whispered loudly. “No, Tessa he just crossed a line, a particularly faded old line,” Collin snapped at him. “I will protect what’s mine, maybe you should think about shit like that before bringing other people’s children into harm’s way,” Lucas glared at Collin. “From the day your family was here visiting Links, when I was piecing this shit together, you have been well protected.” Collin glared at him, “Your whole family.” “You’ve been watching us?” Lucas gasped. “No… I haven’t,” Collin looked away. “Okay Dr. Dick, you’ve had someone watching us?” Lucas clarified. Collin looked at Tessa, “There have been people in town.” “What the fuck Tessa, do you see what …fuck it, where is she?” Lucas looked around. Harper looked up, “Dad should I go get her?” Lucas laughed an angry laugh. “Please Harper,” Collin nodded. “Fucking robots,” Lucas looked at Tessa. “I’m so sorry that this is your life.” Tessa slapped him across the face, and he gasped. “Don’t talk about my family like that ever again.” Collin’s jaw dropped and Tessa wiped away the tears that were now falling.
“Are you okay Daddy?” Ava hugged him. “Yes, let’s get out of here. Unbelievable Tessa Ross,” Luke said softly. “I’m sorry, Ava…Lucas…I’m sorry,” Tessa covered her mouth and turned away. Collin opened his arms, and she walked into them, “What did I do?” “It’s okay beautiful,” Collin kissed her head. “It’ll all be fine.” They sat down, and Collin looked up, “So we have a lot to discuss.” “Mom, did you date him?” Harper asked. “In high school a long time ago,” Tessa sat up. “Good morning.” CJ, Tessa and Collin’s son walked out. “So Lucas was here?” “Yes and Mom dated him in high school,” Harper laughed. “She lived with him after high school,” CJ laughed. “MOM!” Harper scolded. “Okay enough,” Tessa warned. “Both of you, where’s Matthew? CJ, go get him.” “Collin whatever it is we all need to know,” Tessa looked at him. Collin looked at Brody, “You want to do this?” “No, but I have no other choice, not when my sixteen year old son thinks he’s responsible to take care of us,” Brody scolded him. “Em I’m so sorry, there’s no other way.” Emma looked away from him, and Maddox held her hand. Collin watched Brody growing angry, “This will be a quick in and out mission.” “It’s not a mission Collin,” Tessa said when she saw Emma begin to shake. “Fine, we’re going to end this shit once and for all. Have a seat boys.” Collin motioned for his sons to sit. “We’ll leave in the morning, all of us. You’ll be going home. Emma and the kids will be staying there with you. Tomas will stay as well. Brody and I are going to England to assist the London police to bring down the person behind his disappearance as well as those selling children into slavery. This is nothing new to me, our work has always been about empowering people in third world countries so that they could fight against this type of thing and keep their families safe. Those in countries like ours are pretty ignorant in thinking this doesn’t happen here. Emma knows this first hand, her sister was a victim of human trafficking. I can promise you we will come home, and I’m pretty confident it will be before the first day of your senior year.” “Is it Bo?” Emma whispered. “We think so, yes,” Brody looked at her trying to hold her eyes with his. “We just have to figure out why Em, this has to stop okay?” Brody tried to remain calm. Emma looked at Collin, “You’ll both come home?” “I would never leave a man behind Emma.” “I need to call my parents,” Emma stood up. “I can Emma, I can talk to Henry,” Brody followed her. Emma held her hand up stopping him, “Go get Maddox through this.” Emma walked away, and Brody watched her. “I have work to do beautiful,” Collin kissed Tessa and walked inside.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Maddox watched as everyone played on the beach. CJ and Matthew were amazing with London, and so were all the other cousins. He wanted to sleep, and he really wanted to cut himself, do something to release the pain. He looked at Emma who was avoiding Brody at all costs, he knew she was hurt and scared. He walked to the lighthouse and sat on the rocks. “Penny for your thoughts?” Emma sat next to him. “I’m so sorry, I really wish that I…This is because of me,” Maddox looked at her. “Maddox its not. It’s because of Bo. It’s not your fault or Brody’s,” Emma rubbed his back. “But you're mad at him,” Maddox said softly. Emma smiled and giggled, “Well aren’t we a couple of fools?” Maddox looked at her bemused and she laughed, and he laughed too. “You’re so angry with Harper because she was trying to keep you safe and I’m mad at Brody for the same reason,” Emma laughed. Maddox thought for a moment and smiled at her, “I’ve never had these feelings. And I know this is all my fault.” “It isn’t Maddox, just so you know, regardless of everything that’s happened I would never ever choose a different direction in fear that the path wouldn’t have brought us to you. I love you so much Maddox,” Emma hugged him tightly, and he hugged her back. “Are you scared?” Maddox whispered. “Truth, yes terrified, but I know he’ll come home to us,” Emma pulled away and looked into his eyes. “How?” Maddox asked, and tears started to fall down his face. “He always does,” Emma smiled. Maddox looked up and smiled, “He’s behind us isn’t he Maddox?” “Yes, literally right behind us,” Maddox smiled at Emma. “Embarrassing,” Emma laughed and wiped his tears and then hers. Brody sat next to them and smiled softly. “We’ll be fine and so will many others because of this trip. I feel it. The same thing I felt the moment I saw you in a photo Maddox, I knew you were my son.” *** Brody stood with his hands in his pockets looking out at the water trying in vain to lose the feeling deep inside that this time was different. If he didn’t shake the feeling Emma would know, just as he would know if she wasn’t being truthful in order to spare his feelings. He always acknowledged the fact that he had been blessed beyond what he felt he deserved, but he was not a praying man. But today and for the next few days he needed protection, strength, and a clear mind. Brody closed his eyes and lifted his head and asked for those things. He knew that it was already known that he promised to forever cherish those people he loved and vowed to do everything he could to help all the victims of the atrocious act of human trafficking. “Hey,” Emma said wrapping her arm around his waist standing to his side. “Hey back,” Brody pulled her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “Are you okay?” Emma asked leaning back into him. “Much better now,” he said sweetly. “I know you’re worried,” Emma said and reached her hand up and rubbed his soft stubble with her
nails. “That feels good. If I were a dog, I can guarantee my leg would be shaking like crazy right now,” he pushed his face into her hands. “I want Collin to check and make sure your incision is closed…before you go,” Emma said and rubbed his head faster. “Is there a pet store nearby Emma?” Brody chuckled. “I’m sure, but why…oh, Maddox.” Emma turned around quickly, “We promised.” Brody smiled, “We did, how do you think Tessa and Collin would feel about it?” “They would be fine Brody, let’s go now. Let’s go get the kids,” Emma smiled. “Alright love, wow you’re excited,” Brody laughed. “It will keep him busy. It will be his friend, we need to go now.” Emma grabbed his hand and ran to the deck. *** They pulled into town and drove past two pet stores that Emma had googled, both were closed. Emma texted Collin, and he sent her directions to two more stores and an animal shelter outside of town. Emma looked at Brody and he scrunched his nose up and then stuck out his bottom lip, and Emma laughed. Collin texted that the owner of the shelter would be open and that he said they have several that were in need of homes. “Emma are you sure this is the place, it looks like a house right out of the movie Deliverance,” Brody laughed. Emma giggled and pointed, “I am, the sign is right there.” “Bloody hell Emma do you see that?” He gasped at the man in denim overall’s walking towards them with a shovel. “We’re fucked.” Emma tried not to laugh and failed. “I have seen some fucknuggets in my day, but this one takes the cake, possibly even the entire bakery,” Brody laughed hard. “Okay everyone, let’s get out here,” Emma giggled still looking at Brody. He leaned forward and kissed her, “I love you.” She smiled and kissed him back, “I love you more.” “You here about the dog?” The man asked. “Yes we would like to see what you have available,” Emma smiled. Brody looked at her and raised his eyebrows in pseudo horror. “I’ll grab Lexi,” he leaned in and whispered, “Cover us Em. I’ll be behind you every step of the way.” They walked into a large barn with cages stacked up and through a room that smelled awful. “What are these?” London asked pointing to the large cement wall with drawers. “Incinerators,” the man said without looking back or giving explanation. Brody chuckled, and Emma looked back and rolled her eyes at him. “What do you incinerate?” London asked. “Hey London,” Maddox grabbed her hand trying to divert her attention. They walked through a door, and a hairless cat jumped down off a shelf in front of Brody and he jumped, “Bloody hell, what is that thing!” “Brody,” Emma tried to hush him. “Think it's one of them Elf cats, slated two days from now, long overdue no one wants that damn thing,” the man kept walking. “Pups are this way.” “Birdie,” Lexington pointed at the elf cat. “Ugly birdie,” Brody corrected and stepped around it with a disgusted look on his face and Emma
giggled. They walked in and saw several older dogs, many sickly looking. “Are there any young ones?” Emma looked around. “Yep, but you ain’t gonna want them,” he laughed. “No one will take the two, and when they are separated, well, let’s just say they are being put down tomorrow.” “What do you mean put down?” London asked smiling at him. “Can we see them?” Brody said quickly and winked at Emma. They walked in and saw two dogs and Maddox smiled from ear to ear. “They are not puppies,” Brody said stunned. Emma laughed as she looked at the expressions on the children’s faces and back at Brody’s. “I cannot believe we are doing this,” Brody whispered still in some early state of shock. “Birdie,” Lexington pointed and smiled. “Ugly, uuugly, ugly,” Brody said trying to get her to say it too. They walked into the office to sign paper work as London and Maddox picked out leashes and collars. The owner was willing to give them anything just to get them to take the dastardly duo. “Birdie,” Lexington ran towards the hairless cat when Brody was paying the adoption fee. “Emma, please fetch Lexi, I can’t stomach to go near that thing,” Brody whispered. “Putting it down tomorrow, it is ugly, no one is ever gonna want that thing,” the man continued to talk, and Brody glanced at London who looked sick to her stomach. “Come here Lexi,” Emma picked her up and she started to throw a fit. “Emma, please take her to the car I can’t listen…please,” Brody pleaded. They got in the car, and Lexington was still screaming Birdie when Brody started towards the car. He stopped and turned around and held up a finger, gesturing to wait a minute. *** They pulled into the Cape house, and Emma was still laughing when they all piled out of the car. “We need a bigger vehicle,” Brody moaned. “Well when things get back to normal.” Emma looked up at Brody, and they both laughed. “I married the perfect match for me, I’m a particularly lucky man.” Brody smiled and kissed her. “Two pieces to a very odd puzzle,” Emma smiled. “We needed this today Em,” Brody looked at her and closed his eyes. “We’ll have this every day for the rest of our lives.” Emma smiled, “I’m going to go put Lexi down, and she is exhausted.” “I will,” Brody looked in the car and wrinkled his nose, “You get that.” Emma laughed as Brody walked away. Emma walked onto the patio, and everyone was petting and playing with the pups. “Wow I can’t believe…what’s in the cage?” Tessa asked. “Birdie,” Emma laughed and pulled it out. “What the hell is it?” Tessa laughed. “Lexington’s troll cat,” Emma laughed so hard tears rolled down her face. Brody walked out and cringed. “That thing will never get cute, ever Emma, can’t it live in the cage, possibly in the garage, the neighbor’s garage?” “You went back to get it,” Emma laughed. “She was quite upset, I couldn’t…” Brody started. “She’s a baby, she would have forgotten.” Tessa looked at the cat in disgust. “No, she loved that thing you should have heard her crying Birdie, Birdie,” Brody laughed. “Well Birdie is ours now, and cats live forever.” Emma smiled and handed him the cat.
“I can’t Em,” Brody stepped back. Emma sat down and smiled at him. “Okay so two Saint Bernard’s?” Tessa asked. “Siblings, we couldn’t separate them, and the lad from Deliverance was going to put them down. He told us this several times, I think we were played love what do you think?” Brody smiled at Emma. “I’m sure we were,” Emma looked at Birdie. “You are going to have to get a bus,” Tessa laughed. “Speaking of, do you think you could buy a vehicle when we are away? Keep the Audi but buy an American large SUV Emma, what do you think?” Brody was going to kiss her when Birdie stood on her lap and meowed at him. “Birdie you are hideous. My God Emma what were you thinking?” Emma laughed at him and stood up and sat on his lap. “You do know this is the only way that thing will be near me right?” Brody pulled her hair to the side and kissed her neck. “Oh no, you’re stuck, you will learn to love Birdie,” Emma laughed. “Highly unlikely,” Brody made a nasty face. “We have no names for the boys yet?” “No, they are going to take their time in naming them,” Emma laughed. *** They spent the day relaxing and enjoying each other’s company and at bedtime Brody and Emma sat and talked to the kids. London held back tears and watched for Maddox’s reaction and he did the same. Brody laid next to London in their bed with Lexington asleep on his chest. “Are you scared Brody?” London asked softly. “No, are you?” Brody asked pushing her hair out of her eyes. “I just…well, when you leave sometimes you are gone a long time,” London sat up and looked at him. “Just once London,” he smiled at her. “No, the first time when Mom got sick, that was a long time,” London looked at him sadly. “I have to admit, it did feel like an awfully long time to me as well,” Brody held her little hand. “She loved you way back then too,” London yawned. “Well I remember very well that I was over the moon in love with her and with you immediately. I wanted to be here with you. London I have to tell you something, a secret,” Brody whispered. “Okay,” London smiled and laid back down snuggling into him. “Well maybe a story?” Brody smiled. “Yes, please,” London giggled. She sat back up and grabbed her iPod and pushed a button and laid back down and snuggled into him, “Okay go on.” “Did you set an alarm?” Brody looked at her in amusement. “No, go on I want a story,” she grinned. “Once upon a time there was a beautiful little Princess whose heart was ginormous,” Brody smiled. “Ginormous is not a word,” London giggled. “My story little Princess, I mean London, do be quiet please,” Brody smiled, and London giggled. “Alright now, the Little Princess had a ginormous heart in a kingdom that was full of pain and angst and whose people suffered from itsy bitsy heart syndrome. The Princess was beautiful and once the kingdom’s people were allowed to meet her they appeared to literally feel their hearts grow if given just one smile from the little Princess. If lucky enough to speak to her their hearts grew even more. If given a hug their hearts grew even larger. The Little Princess had no idea how many people’s hearts were healing from her kindness and love, she had no idea the magical powers she was blessed with. People of the Kingdom whose hearts had grown seemed to carry a similar power, and her kingdom began to let go of the pain and angst and live lives filled with happiness. They lived for the todays and tomorrows and not the hurt of
yesterdays. The little Princess never really knew that she had such an effect on all whose hearts she had healed. One day an angry baron watched as the little Princess talked with the Kingdom’s people. He didn’t understand what was happening around him and quite frankly it pissed him off to see all the people who now seemed happier, while his hurts from his yesterday’s still consumed his soul. He had the worst case ever seen by the town’s doctor of itsy bitsy heart syndrome. One day he was in the town square and overheard her talking to a group of people. He heard her speak of normal everyday things that would normally go unnoticed as things of beauty. He saw her care so deeply for others who struggled and even those who mocked her that it made him wonder if she was sane. That night his heart began to heal. The next day he went back hoping to catch a glimpse or hear a story or conversation that the little Princess may have in hopes that it would heal him a bit more. It began to rain, but he didn’t care, he needed to see and hear the little Princess. The town square was empty, but he stood under a tree and waited and hoped, things which he had never done before, he hoped she would show up as she did every day. He saw the Little Princess walk into the square and look around. She saw him hiding behind a tree soaking wet and ran with her umbrella to him. She smiled an offered to share it with him, she offered a stranger kindness. His itsy bitsy heart healed immediately, and he was forever indebted to her. He became her knight, one that would protect her from all those who may intend to bring harm to her or her kingdom.” “That was about me?” London asked confused. “You are my Little Princess,” Brody kissed her cheek. “But what about Lexington?” London asked whispering and pointing to her. “She is as well, but this story was about you and the magic you have, the spell you cast on everyone around you, the love that you share could heal the entire world London,” Brody smiled. “Were you the troll?” London yawned. “The what?” Brody laughed. “The troll, oh no it was a knight,” London giggled. “I’ve learned so much from you and your mother’s love London. I will forever be your knight, your protector, I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe and loved.” Brody looked at her, his face hiding the pain. “I know,” she yawned. “I love you Dad, knight…troll.” Brody laughed out loud, and Lexington moved slightly. “Shh you’ll wake the tiny Princess,” London smiled. “You have taught me a lot to you know.” “I bet I have,” Brody chuckled. “You taught me what a Princess should look for in a Prince. What a Princess feels like to have a Dad who loves her enough to want to be around her and what role modeling that behavior can do,” London yawned. “Role modeling behavior huh?” Brody smiled. “Yep, my Daddy changed because of you, more so when you were gone. I heard Mom tell Lila that. I know it’s true, so you Brody, Dad, Knight, Troll… are just as much a blessing to us. You, Lexington, and now Maddox. We’re a perfect family,” London yawned again. “My sweet, sweet girl, you are tired sleep, Princess.” Brody pulled her into his arms and kissed her head, “I love you.” “I love you more,” she said softly. “We love each other more,” he whispered. Brody snuggled with her until he felt her shake slightly. He carefully tried to move her while Lexington lay asleep on his chest. “Need some help?” Emma smiled as she walked towards the bed. He smiled and nodded his head yes.
*** Brody closed the door quietly behind him, “Thank you Love.” “You should go spend time with Maddox before he goes to bed, he’s outside with the dogs and Birdie follows them everywhere,” Emma smiled. “Birdie,” Brody cringed and Emma laughed. “He looks tired, you should go.” Emma pushed herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him quickly. Brody stood and held both of her hands, “It’s warm outside?” “Yes, Indian summer,” Emma smiled. “Good, I’ll hang out with him then you and I need some time to.” Brody rubbed his nose across hers, “I love you.” “I love you,” Emma blinked. “Emma, don’t be sad, this is different.” Brody held her face so she couldn’t look away. “I know,” she forced a smile. “You should go see Maddox. I’m going to finish packing.” Brody walked down the stairs and went into the bathroom, he looked in the mirror and closed his eyes. There was too much going on in his head, so much to worry about. He stepped back and tried to calm himself by breathing slowly. He couldn’t spend the entire night in here, he needed to make it alright with his family. He squatted down and held his hands tightly in his hair and wanted to scream but instead he held it. He felt tears form in his eyes, and he stood up and clenched his fist. He turned on the water and splashed his face several times washing away the tears and the pain. He turned the water off, turned and saw Emma’s reflection in the mirror, her tears came immediately. “Em,” he scrunched his eyes, “It’s going to be fine.” Emma shut the door and walked quickly up to him and hugged him tightly and whispered, “I’m so afraid to lose you again.” He held her face in his hands and kissed her. Her arms wrapped around him, and she held the back of his head tightly to hers. His kisses slowed and moved from her mouth to her neck. “I need you now and always Em,” he said between kisses. “Then have me,” she pulled his shirt over his head and he did the same to her. His mouth moved to her breast and he sucked hard with need, and she moaned. Her hands moved down pulling his pants down swiftly as she covered his body with kisses. Emma took him in her mouth and he tensed up, and she felt him jerk inside her mouth. “Em, love that…oh fuck,” he moaned and pushed into her mouth, “Fuck.” Emma moved faster, and he looked down at her with hunger in his eyes. She opened her mouth and licked the tip seductively as she rolled his scrotum in her hands and tugged gently. “Em,” he let out a low raspy moan. She used her hands to stroke him up and down, and her mouth to take all she could handle. She sat on her heals to breathe, and he began to pull her up, “No, I want to taste your body.” She licked and sucked gently on the bulging veins from root to tip again and again as she rubbed him against her face and down her neck, “Mine.” She took him in her mouth and looked up at him hollowing her cheeks as she rolled his scrotum. His shoulders hunched forward, and he clenched his jaw tightly and tensed up, “Oh …fuck…Em...stop love.” She shook her head no and continued sucking hard and fast. She felt the first hot thick burst and opened her mouth stroking him with her hand and licking his tip. As the next came she closed her eyes and tilted her head back and rubbed his final burst all over her lips and looked up at him boneless and weakened. His eyes were mere slits, and his hands were still holding himself up against the counter. Emma licked her lips slowly clean and he moaned loudly and tensed, she was rewarded with even more of what she desired, what she needed from him at that very moment.
“Em,” he slide down the counter and sat on the floor and pulled her against him tightly. “That was the most amazing…kiss me.” Emma kissed him, “Thank you for that. Now go see your son.” Emma stood and washed her face and brushed her teeth and Brody still sat with his head back, and eyes closed feeling adored. “Hey Music Man, let’s go,” Emma giggled. “You just sucked the life out of me Em,” Brody smiled as much as he could muster up the energy too. Emma smiled and laughed, “Good to know.” She squatted down and grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, and he lazily put his arms through the holes with her help. “Thank you Love,” he closed his eyes. “Come on Brody,” Emma laughed trying to pull him up off the floor. “Oh no, I’m going nowhere, the picture in my head of you ravenous for my come Em, taking as much of me as you could get, and then more…” There was a knock on the door and he opened his eyes, and he and Emma said, “Just a minute.” Emma started to stand, and he tugged her arm smoothly back down and whispered, “Un-fuckingbelievable.” “Well good, I’m glad because that is exactly how I feel every time.” Emma smiled and kissed him before she stood up, “Come on.” They walked out of the bathroom, and Tessa laughed as she walked past them. “Do you think she knows?” Brody chuckled. “Did you look in the mirror?” Emma laughed. “No, why?” Brody asked running his hands through his hair. “You look kind of high,” Emma smiled. “Best high ever,” Brody kissed her. “Maddox,” Emma reminded him. “And then you Em,” Brody hugged her tightly before walking out to the deck. Brody sat next to Maddox and smiled, “How are they doing?” “They are extraordinary,” Maddox smiled and pet them. “Do they have names yet?” Brody pet one of the dogs. “No, but London is taking suggestions,” Maddox giggled. “Let’s hear them,” Brody pet the next one. “Um, Tessa likes Gwen and Gavin, Collin thinks James and Bond…” Maddox stopped when Brody jumped out of his chair, “Are you oaky?” “That thing is appalling,” Brody tried to move away, and Birdie followed him, “Get that… thing away.” Maddox laughed and picked it up, “Birdie’s actually pretty cool.” “I’m glad you think so Maddox,” Brody’s expression was unchanged from disgust. “Check this out,” Maddox sat up and put Birdie on one of the dogs back and Birdie walked in a circle a few times before laying down. Brody laughed, “Did you teach it that?” “Nope, I think, well Harper thinks he may be cold, but it’s cool that they let Birdie perch on their backs,” Maddox sat back and smiled. “We should buy it a sweater, it may look less atrocious, maybe a toupee?” Brody laughed. Maddox smiled, “I bet London would love to dress him up.” “So how are things with…” Brody stopped. “Fine, has to be right, I’m stuck there while you,” Maddox looked up at Brody, “Fine.” “Maddox, I don’t want to do this, but I won’t have anyone threatening our family,” Brody took a deep
breath, “We shouldn’t live in fear. I won’t allow my children to live in fear.” “It would be better than losing you,” Maddox whispered. “Maddox, I’ll be fine. You feel exactly the same, you were going to leave us Maddox. I won’t have that happen again. Do you know how it felt to think my son, who I just found out about and who is already more important to me than my next breath felt he needed to…don’t you ever do that to me, to us again Maddox, promise me now!” Brody snapped. “Okay…I …I…okay,” Maddox sat back trying to hold his emotions in check. “I can’t lose you,” Brody stood and hugged him, “I need you Maddox.” “I promise,” Maddox hugged him back. After a minute passed Brody sat down, “May I ask a favor?” “Anything,” Maddox looked up at him with sad eyes. “Keep them safe, when I’m gone Maddox, stay with them, watch over them, don’t leave them. Promise me,” Brody’s voice was full of feeling. “I promise,” Maddox cleared his throat and looked him in the eyes. “I promise.” “Okay,” Brody looked at him and his face softened. “Our song has just begun Maddox. I will not miss any more than I’m forced to.” Maddox smiled, “I believe you…do you promise?” “With all that I am, I promise,” Brody smiled. “Are you tired?” Maddox asked. “Not really,” Brody smiled, “Why what did you want to do?” “Fish, if we go to bed early we can get up early and maybe we can fish?” Maddox asked. “Sounds like a great idea,” Brody smiled and stood up. *** Brody searched the house for Emma and could not find her. He walked outside and looked on the deck she wasn’t there. He walked back in and grabbed his phone and sent her a text. Emma responded, - I’m waiting for you…Emma - Where might that be…MM - Walk to the beach and look to the right, I want a date under the stars tonight…Emma - Hmm…MM Brody all but ran out and down the deck stairs and looked right. He stopped and smiled when he saw her sitting on the beach with candles and a basket. *** She stood up and wiped the sand off of her hands as she watched him walk towards her. He was wearing loose fitting khaki shorts that rested on his hips and a tee shirt. He didn’t have shoes on, and he hadn’t shaved in days, his hair blew gently in the breeze. Just the sight of him made her soul smile, her heart melt, her belly flip, and her girly parts nearly max out. Not in need but in knowing, he belonged to her and her to him. She smiled broadly unable to smile any other way at the man she loved more than she ever felt possible. The man who loved her through sickness before promising to do so, who loved her daughter immediately needing to be a strong force in her life. He married her without a long drawn out engagement, knowing they were meant to be together. He loved her enough to open up his past in order to
give her family back something taken long ago. A man who not only could open his heart and soul to her but needed her to know what was inside. He had gone through a nightmare and worked to get it all back, and he brought it back with more than they began with. He showed her every day he loved her, and she hoped that it was enough to fill him as much as it did her. *** Brody looked at his wife, a word that was not strong enough to describe his Emma. A woman whose heart, regardless of the jabs and blows it was dealt, stayed with him, she stood strong and believed in him. Whatever he held from her, whatever the outside world may have shown her when she was looking at him, into his eyes, she knew the love he had for her, and he felt it in his heart, in his soul. Whatever had happened she loved him, they hadn't stolen the light from her eyes that fueled his soul. The love he was given by her was more than enough for ten lifetimes. “Em,” Brody smiled and opened his arms, and she hugged him tightly. “I made a picnic,” she smiled, “On the beach.” “I see that, what a lucky man I am to have been asked by the most beautiful woman in the world,” he looked up at the clear starry sky and continued, “On this heavenly evening, to this extremely romantic date.” Brody lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Are you hungry?” Emma’s voice quivered, and he smiled. “Yes Emma,” Brody smiled and his eyes danced. “Shall we sit?” “You first,” Emma stepped back and extended her hand showing him the pillow behind her. “Very swanky Emma,” Brody smiled and sat. “Don’t tell the dogs, they may be upset I borrowed it,” Emma smiled as she knelt down in front of him and opened the basket and pulled out a blue bottle of wine, Doobie Blues. Brody chuckled, “Is that an ass on that Bottle?” “It’s Doobie,” Emma laughed. “A miniature donkey that lives at Swedish Hill Winery this is my favorite, Tessa brought it.” She poured him a glass and handed it to him and smiled. “So a little arse?” Brody winked, and Emma laughed. “It’s a fun, fruity, and slightly sweet white Riesling,” Emma took a sip and smiled. “Nice description Em,” Brody smiled. “I read it…off the bottle,” Emma giggled and sat back on her heels. “The one with the little ass?” Brody smiled and sat forward and kissed her abruptly. Emma laughed against his mouth, “You are a funny, sweet, talented, smart, kind, incredibly sexy man Brody Hines.” He stared at her and sat back. Emma sat back and smiled as she pulled out a container of strawberries, “Sorry no chocolate. Bite and then take a drink.” Brody did as he was asked, “Very nice.” “Want more?” She asked and put the strawberry to his mouth. “Yeah I want more.” Brody pulled her onto his lap and bit the strawberry and licked her fingers. “Drink Em,” he lifted the glass to her mouth and she took a drink. He bit the strawberry and took a tiny sip of his wine and pulled her head to his and kissed her. Brody titled her head to the side and dipped her slightly sharing the content in his mouth with her and pulled away and watched as she chewed the piece in her mouth and shifted on his lap. “How did it taste Em?” Brody smiled and sat back. “Fruity, slightly sweet, with a heat that spread through my entire mouth and is still moving down,”
Emma smirked, and her face turned red. Brody’s mouth opened slightly, and amusement touched his eyes, “You’re embarrassed by your honesty.” “No,” Emma giggled. “You have said the most incredible things to me in the five minutes we’ve been out here,” Brody smiled. “Do you want me not to?” Emma looked down and he saw her brows knit together, and she swallowed hard. “No Love, it feels wonderful please don’t frown,” he rubbed his thumb upward softly as he stared into her eyes. She sat silently for a few moments and a tear fell, “Should we just go to bed?” Brody pulled her against him and held her rubbing her back. “I have watched you all day, pushing me through knowing what tomorrow brings. We spent the morning and afternoon with our children having an amazing time. I held Lexington and London while they fell asleep as you packed. You came into the bathroom and… well literally blew my mind. Then shuffled me off to Maddox…” “I didn’t mean to…” Emma sat up. “Shh listen please Em,” Brody closed his eyes. “You prepared a picnic and spoke words of love and adoration, leaving me at a loss for words. I often find myself wondering what I could have possibly done to have been so blessed to have met you. You are my everything Emma, my world, my heart. Your smile breathes air into my lungs, and I don’t think I could possibly ever thank you enough for the life you have given to me. From the kindness, and forgiveness to the love and the reverence I feel from your heart and soul. I am so madly, deeply, always, and forever in love with you. You are my rock and my soft place to land, whichever I need whenever I need it. You’re beautiful and kind, loving and giving. I adore you, I cherish you.” Emma clung to him tighter and released the breath she had been holding and softly spoke, “I just want to make you as happy as you’ve made me.” Brody sighed and pushed her back, “I’ve marched you through hell at least four times Emma.” Emma sighed, “And I believe every word you’ve said and I…I don’t deserve you, I truly don’t, I kissed Troy and I wasn’t...” “Emma shut up,” Brody smiled. “No, damn it listen to me! I have never been so in love with anyone as I am with you. I’ve never felt so loved and complete Brody and I pushed you away, and you came at me full speed and I was awful, more awful to you than anyone in my life and you stayed and loved me through cancer, and bitchiness. You loved London immediately and dealt with the things you knew bothered me so I wouldn’t have to. And Lexi, my God Brody you were so sweet through it all from day one, always putting me first. Before your own safety you put me and our girls first and Maddox. Brody I…” Brody sat up and kissed her, she grabbed his hair and kissed him back passionately. She lowered her hand and unbuttoned him and gently rubbed him. He growled into her mouth and pulled her tighter to him. “I need you,” Emma pulled his erection free and shifted, so she was rubbing skin to delicate skin against him. “Damn Em, no panties,” Brody kissed her neck. “No…none,” she began, and her head fell back as she moaned. “You had plans to seduce me,” Brody pulled back and ran his hand under her shirt grabbing her breast and squeezing hard. Brody grabbed her chin and rubbed his thumb across her lip and gently pulled it towards him and kissed her. She held him in her hands and lifted on her knees, her mouth never left his. She lowered herself slowly onto him and whimpered against his neck as he stretched her. She circled her hips to
further stretch to accommodate his substantial size. He felt her begin to tense, “I’m not even all the way in Love, fuck you really needed this.” “Yes, oh yes awe….” she dug her toes under his legs and he thrust into her deeper holding her hips in place. “On your back love,” Brody demanded as he flipped her quickly and thrust into her filling her completely. “Come on Em, give it to me again.” “You…come...” Emma dug into is back hard and yelled out his name. “Come on Em, give it up,” he growled and pulled her legs up, so they were resting on his shoulders, “Fuck, look at you in the moon light.” Brody slammed into her and rubbed her clit with his fingers until she came again. “That’s it love, so fucking good.” He let her legs fall down and bent and took her breast in his mouth pulling at her nipples with his teeth. She felt him tense and jerk inside of her and his body fell softly onto her. “You are so beautiful.” She wrapped her legs and arms around him and held him tightly as they both gasped for air. Brody pushed his body off of hers and bent down and kissed her breasts and then her mouth. “Look at you,” he smiled and pulled her up and hugged her. “Look at you,” she kissed him and smiled. “We should get inside before we’re seen,” Brody smiled and stood pulling her up with him. They walked into the house and put everything away, “Where shall we sleep?” “Wherever,” Emma smiled. “Oh Emma, you’re swooning,” he kissed her. “You are extremely swoon worthy,” Emma giggled. “Let’s spoon and swoon,” Brody smiled and laughed. “On the couch Love. We’ll wake before the children. Oh, Maddox wants to fish in the morning.” “Okay, do you know how?” Emma asked as she lay next to him. Brody laughed, “Yes Emma I know how.” Emma giggled and snuggled into him, “I love you.” “Always and forever?” Brody looked down at her. “Always and forever,” Emma laid her head on his chest and fell asleep. *** Brody woke and kissed her cheek and whispered, “Good morning Love.” Emma smiled and wrapped her body around him, “Could be better.” Brody chuckled and hugged her closer, “I need to wake Maddox.” “You need a shower first don’t you?” Emma smiled and rolled on top of him and sat up. “I believe I do,” Brody sat up quickly. They walked into the bathroom and brushed their teeth and quickly removed each other’s clothes. “We have to do this quickly,” Emma grabbed his head and kissed him. “Not my favorite way to do you Em,” Brody smiled and turned on the water and checked the temperature as she stoked him. “As long as you’re in me…” “Wrapped in you,” he moaned against her breast. “Uh huh,” Emma stepped slowly into the shower. “You’re dragging me by my cock Em,” Brody smiled. “I am,” Emma laughed. “Hands on the wall,” his voice went from playful to forceful and Emma went from wanting to needing. The shower was cooling when they finally finished touching, loving, and then cleaning one another.
They stepped out of the shower, and he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist smiling. “Lift your arms,” Brody looked her up and down holding a towel, “Now jump.” Emma laughed and grabbed the towel from him and wrapped herself up, “Not funny.” “I wasn’t trying to be funny Love I wanted to see your tits bounce,” Brody tried to keep the serious look on his face, and Emma rolled her eyes and he smiled. “We didn’t bring clothes,” Emma smiled. “Do you think we could streak through the house without getting caught?” “I wouldn’t call it streaking in towels Emma.” Brody took her hand and grabbed the dirty clothes and walked out the door. *** They all ate quietly as Collin went over the itinerary for today. Brody would be leaving at noon ensuring enough time for him to retrieve the file his father had left him before catching his flight to London. Collin would be flying out a few hours later. They would share a flight but not sitting near each other so that no connection between the two wouldn’t be exposed any more than it may be at this time. Collin would be in the shadows at all times ensuring Body’s safety. Tomas would be taking Brody to the airport. The ride to the airport wasn’t long enough. Emma was having a hard time controlling her emotions. “You are very quiet,” Brody whispered against her neck. Emma smiled up at him and held him tighter. “Christ Em, just say something,” Brody sat up and pushed her back so he could look at her face. Emma smiled sadly, “Like what? I love you, please don’t leave…please don’t leave again. I’m so scared for you, terrified that you’re doing this. None of it matters Brody, and I can’t fight with you. I get it, I get why, it doesn’t mean I like it at all, it doesn’t mean that because I’m quiet I’m not,” Emma swallowed hard and tried to calm herself down, “I love you so much Brody.” “Sorry, damn it Em, I’m sorry,” he hugged her, “I didn’t mean…” “Don’t be sorry, just don’t let go,” Emma clung to him. Tomas pulled up to the airport drop off and Brody and Emma got out, he pulled his sunglasses over his eyes and grabbed his bag with one hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulder holding her tightly against him. They walked into the airport and checked in through the kiosk. Brody stood at the end of the security check line and looked at his beautiful Em. He pulled her gently in front of him, and she looked up at him and smiled. He bent his head to hers and smiled back. Brody kissed her forehead and left his lips against her while breathing in her scent. He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head as he held her. The line moved slowly, and he was thankful he was able to spend just a little more time with her. He tried not to worry, he knew what he was going to do. He was going without caring if he got answers, he was going to put an end to the ugliness, rid those he loved of the cloud that loomed over the light. Emma stepped back, “You’re humming and swaying.” “Sorry Love,” he kissed her head and pulled her back into him. “It was beautiful,” she looked up at him. “Thank you, I wrote it for you,” Brody reached in his pocket and pulled out a flash drive and handed it to her. “Listen to it when you miss me?” Emma nodded her head quickly up and down, “I didn’t give you anything, I should have…” Brody smiled softly, “You gave me a gift last night, a couple actually, the picnic and hot sex on the beach and the most mind blowing…” “Okay,” Emma covered his mouth and he nipped her finger and then kissed it gently. Emma’s eyes flashed desire and Brody laughed out loud. “What?”
“You, you are so fucking perfect,” Brody kissed her gently and pulled back, “Your eyes show your every feeling Emma.” Emma blushed, “I love you.” “I love you,” Brody kissed her and looked up and closed his eyes and shook his head slowly side to side. Emma turned to look at what was bothering him and saw there were only two people in front of him, “I have to take my shoes off.” “Of course,” Emma took his bag as he removed his shoes. “Do you remember how to do this?” Brody asked. Emma smiled a big fake smile and nodded her head yes. “I’m going to kiss you,” Brody said as he cupped her chin. “I’m going to kiss you back,” she placed her hands on his shoulder. Softly and sweetly they kissed each other. “I’m next,” Brody kissed her again. “This isn’t goodbye,” Emma whispered into his neck, and he held her tightly. “See you soon, I love you Em always,” he let go of her. “See you soon…I love you forever,” Emma kissed his cheek and turned and walked out of the line.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN “Hello Love, I’m here,” Brody’s voice had gained strength from when he had called last. “You sound strong,” she spoke without thinking. “I am strong Emma,” Brody answered her unspoken question, “I am everything the woman I love needs. Not only by chance but by necessity. I would never be anything other than that for you, I couldn’t.” Emma was silent unable to respond. “Em?” Brody asked. “I love you so much Brody, please if you feel like it’s…I love you, just come home Brody we can figure this out here…” Emma’s voice shook. “This is all going to work out Emma, we’re going to be able to go to the doctors without fear that… I’ll come home to you Em,” Brody’s voice was strong and full of conviction. Emma cleared her throat, “Okay… I know… I love you.” “Em, I won’t call again until I have answers for you, for our family,” Brody told her. “No, please don’t do that. I’m sorry, I know how strong you are, I didn’t mean to…” Emma panicked. “How are the kids Emma?” Brody asked. “Good, they’re good, Brody…” Emma started. “And the new pets?” Brody interrupted again. Emma stayed quiet for a minute as she composed herself, “They’re well, riding for five hours with them was interesting.” Brody let out a breath, “Was it?” “Yes, and Birdie misses you,” Emma tried to joke. Brody laughed, “Do you think maybe one of the dogs will possibly eat Birdie before I return?” Without thinking Emma responded, “If that’s what it takes to get you home I’ll eat Birdie.” Brody laughed loudly, a full out belly laugh and Emma smiled to herself. “I may hold you to that, how would Lexington feel about that?” Brody said with a smile in his voice. “She wouldn’t remember,” Emma responded with the same smile in hers. “You would eat Birdie for me Em?” Brody snickered. “I would do anything for you,” Emma said quietly. Brody’s breath hitched, “We would do anything for each other Emma.” Emma knew he needed to get back into his protective, dominate, confident, alpha male, mindset. “Brody, I’ll let you do anything you want to me when you get home, and I mean anything.” “You sure about that Em?” his voice was deep and dark. “Uh huh,” Emma smiled. “Promise?” Brody asked. “Yep,” she giggled. “Good girl Em,” Brody cleared his throat. “I need to get going. I love you.” “Always?” Emma asked. “And forever,” Brody said and hung up the phone. *** He looked up at Collin and smiled. “Good talk?” Collin snickered as he inspected the weapons. “Yeah,” Brody smiled.
“Good,” Collin handed him a gun. “You know how to use this?” “Aim and click right?” Brody smiled. “Aim and click,” Collin patted his back. “Alright we should get some sleep. Your brother will be at your place tomorrow?” “Yes,” Brody looked at him. “Clive’s there now making sure everything’s alright.” “Alright now this paperwork, let’s figure it out,” Collin opened the file. Collin sat back and laughed, “Your ancestors were royalty?” “As I told Emma, yours probably are as well. It’s not a big deal,” Brody rolled his eyes. “Do you know of the land, the maps, where is it?” Collin asked. “I’m not sure, if you want someone to look at it be my guest,” Brody looked up at him. “These are copies, the originals are safe.” “I’ll get it to someone we can trust.” Collin knew it was difficult for Brody to hand over the file his father had left him. “Brody, this is going to help, the sooner the better.” Brody’s phone rang, “Bobby, where are you?” Brody hung up the phone, “He is with Bo, and he said Bo was insistent that he visit him, he would like to meet at my house in Liverpool tomorrow.” Collin looked at him with concern, “We should go now, and I’m sure Bo knows you’re in England and could possibly be tracking your cell. Clive and my boys have swept your place, let’s get going now.” Brody and Collin walked into the Liverpool house, “Very nice place.” “Thank you, I have always loved it here. Your family should feel free to stay anytime you want,” Brody smiled. Collin’s phone rang, and he answered it and listened intently. “I see, yes, alright. The file is scanned and messaged to you after you look it over, destroy it. Alright, yes thank you.” Collin growled and looked at Brody, “Three men in ski masks busted down the door to our motel and filled it with holes, and your phone was traced.” Brody closed his eyes, “They aren’t fucking around huh?” “No, we need to be smart, your uncle…” Collin reached for his phone and listened, “Thank you. The maps, there’s a lot of land not just here, but many other European countries. It’s your families land. I wonder if your father was aware of this, he must have been. The documentation has been changed, the government lists it as Bo’s, and this paperwork proves otherwise. The compound, the one you were held at, it is on that land. We have him tied in now Brody. If you want to get out of here? We can make the case from home.” “No, I want to see Bobby, I want to know what he fucking knew. I want to confront that fuck Bo and see how deep he’s in this, those kids Collin,” Brody screamed and stood up. “I want to make him fucking pay for what he did to Maddox, Elizabeth, my God what a sick fuck. And if my brother had anything to do with this he fucking pays to!” “Alright then,” Collin agreed, “calm down, get you shit in check, we have a big day tomorrow.” *** Brody woke to a gun in his chest, “Get up and don’t say a word or your buddy gets a bullet.” Brody looked up and rubbed his eyes, “Bo?” “Like you didn’t know it was coming,” Bo laughed. Brody sat up slowly never losing eye contact with his uncle, “You can put that thing away old man.” Bo laughed, “I’m not a stupid man Brody.” “Oh? You are fucking stupid, and sick and disgusting…” Bo struck him across the face hard with his pistol knocking him to the ground, “Get up! Your friends are waiting downstairs.” “What friends,” Brody spit blood on the ground and looked up at Bo.
“Oh a few, move it,” Bo pushed him towards the door. “Just so you know Bo, I’m going to kill you,” Brody said walking down the hall. “And I’m going to take great pride in doing so, but before that you sick fucking pig I’m going to shove your own gun up your ass, sparing the pleasantries of lubricant and blast you apart from the inside out!” Bo struck him in the back of the head dropping him to his knees, “Shut your fucking mouth!” Brody stood up and continued walking towards the stairs, “That’s not all, you disgusting swine, I’m going to cut your fucking dick off and feed it to you as you bleed out, very slowly.” Bo kicked him in the back and Brody fell down half the stairway hitting his head and gashing his eye. He pulled himself up and continued to walk, “Then I’m going to leave you lying in your own pool of blood drowning as I piss in your face!” “You’ll be dead long before that,” Bo kicked him, and he fell down the rest of the wooden staircase. Brody tried to stand and he couldn’t. He slumped down on the ground, and Bo stepped towards him and kicked him hard in the ribs. Brody groaned and lay on the wooden floor. “Bo what the hell are you doing?” Bobby went to Brody’s side and grabbed him. “Listen here boys,” Bo started. “No, damn it Bo, what the hell is this? Brody needs a doctor and you need to get a fucking grip!” Bobby helped Brody sit up, “You have two men tied up in the damn dining room, and you want to tell me what the hell this is all about?” “I told you Bobby, he is looking for someone to put the blame on for that whore Elizabeth, your sister, and the child he believes is his. He will tear apart all we have worked for years to build here. The lives of three traitors against England, for the safety of all, there is no choice Bobby, our lives work,” Bo yelled. Bobby looked at Bo confused, “How is he a traitor Bo? He has been through hell. He’s trying to keep his child safe.” “He is full of shit Bobby,” Brody gurgled, and blood came out of his mouth. “He has been selling children, he runs some sicko fucking human trafficking…” “Shut the fuck up,” Bo screamed. “What’s going on Bo?” Bobby stood up and looked at him. “Your brother’s full of shit,” Bo snapped. “No, we have plenty of proof, I want to know where all those kids are, how you move them without being caught. How the hell you let Maddox live in such…” Brody started. “Maddox was fine, for fifteen years I made sure of it, I treated him,” Bo screamed, and Bobby interrupted. “You knew about him? You allowed this, are you involved?” Bobby yelled at him, and Bo looked at him. Bobby lunged towards him and Bo fired his gun shooting him in the stomach. Brody stood up and dove at him tackling Bo to the ground. A shot was fired. Collin freed himself from his restraints and was running towards the commotion when he heard the shot. He ran into the room and slipped on the floor in a pool of blood. He stood and ran towards Brody who was lying on top of Bo. Collin pulled his gun and pointed it at Bo, he kicked the pistol across the floor and rolled Brody off of him. Brody opened his eyes and looked at Collin, “My brother.” “Okay,” Collin looked at Bobby and grabbed a blanket and held it against his stomach to stop the bleeding. “Is that fucker Bo dead?” Brody asked fighting to stay awake. Collin shook his head no and looked Bo over, he was shot in the shoulder and unconscious. “No, he’s alive,” Collin stood. “Brody don’t move I’m going to let Zack loose and call an
ambulance.” Collin moved quickly out of the room, and Brody watched Bo move for the gun. Brody used all his remaining strength to get to it first. Bo laid back and laughed at him, “I can make this all your fault Brody…” Brody looked at him, pulled the trigger shooting him in the heart, “I don’t think so.” Collin ran in the room and looked at Brody who leaned against the wall and put the gun down and smirked, “I felt threatened.” Collin looked at him, “Alright.” “Is he dead?” Brody asked and closed his eyes. “Yeah I would say so,” Collin closed his eyes. “Is my brother alive?” Collin shook his head yes. “I want to talk to Em.” “Okay,” Collin sat next to him and Brody looked up. “Thanks man,” Brody smiled and then his eyes rolled back as he lost consciousness. *** Brody slowly opened his eyes and saw a bright light, “Oh please not yet,” he whispered. “Hey,” he heard her voice. “Oh God not yet,” he mumbled, “I don’t want to go yet.” “Okay,” he felt her rub his hand. “Okay just tell me, am I dead?” he groaned. “No,” Emma kissed his cheek lightly. “And those lips on my face better me my wife’s,” Brody smiled. “Yes they better be,” Emma giggled. Brody opened his eyes, “Hello Love.” “Hello Music Man,” Emma rested her head on his hand. “How long have I been out?” Brody asked. “About ten hours,” Emma answered looking up at him. “Is Bobby alight?” He asked. “He’s stable,” Emma smiled. “I shot Bo,” Brody looked at Emma. Emma smiled softly and stroked his cheek with her hand gently. “May not have …” Brody stopped when Emma kissed him. “I brought cards from the kids.” Emma let go of his hand. Brody looked at the card and laughed, “I love you.” “I love you more,” Emma stood next to the bed looking at him. “Am I a mess?” Brody asked. “You are absolutely beautiful,” Emma said, and her lip quivered. “That bad huh Em,” Brody squeezed her hand, “Lay with me?” “I would love to,” Emma quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. “Do you think you could turn off the light Emma? I swear I thought I was dead, going towards a bright light that can seriously fuck with someone.” Brody smiled, and Emma did as he asked. Emma sent a message and sat next to Brody on the bed and took off her shoes, and Brody moved over a bit and winced. “Are you okay?” Emma sat up. “I am, don’t move Em, stay here,” Brody grabbed her hand stopping her. Emma laid down and remained stiff. “Emma it’s like sitting next to a rock. Come on love,” Brody coaxed her.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Emma smiled sadly at him. “What are my injuries?” Brody looked at her and smiled. “Well you have a very bad concussion, you have about ten stitches above your eye, a cracked rib and some bruised ribs,” Emma looked at him. “You’ll heal, and you are alive.” “That fucker nailed me a few times pretty damn good,” Brody smiled and closed his eyes. “I know. You should rest,” Emma pushed his hair back and kissed his forehead. “How did you get here so fast Em,” Brody closed his eyes and kissed her hand. “Oh I know a guy… with a plane,” Emma smiled. “Did he get out on time, before…” Brody smirked. “Yes and he is already home, and with our children,” Emma smiled. “Good, and you’re here with me,” Brody searched her eyes. Emma smiled, “Of course I am.” “I love you Emma,” he squeezed her hand. “Always?” Emma kissed his forehead. “And forever,” Brody smiled. “Nothing less, now rest please Brody,” Emma kissed his eyebrow lightly. “Em it hurts here to,” Brody pointed to the back of his head and she kissed it, “And here,” he pointed to his ribs, and she kissed him cautiously. “Better?” Emma asked. “Much, but right here,” Brody lifted the blue hospital gown, “Very sore.” Emma smiled and looked at him, he raised his eyebrows, and she laughed. There was a knock and Brody pulled his gown down and smiled at Emma and looked at the door, “Hey Clive, what’s up?” Brody winked at Emma, and she laughed and kissed him sweetly. “How are you?” Clive asked. “Good, how are you?” Brody asked with concern in his voice. “I’m fine, pissed that they got in. The place was secure Brody. I talked to Bobby, so I’m less pissed off at myself. Apparently there are tunnels under your home here as well, they came through the wine cellar,” Clive explained. “How the hell did that go unnoticed?” Brody gasped. “No idea,” Clive scowled, “But that’s not the only tunnel. Bobby’s work for years has been building tunnels and setting up underground bunkers. It’s secret government work. The maps you had, that you didn’t trust me with,” Clive glared at him. “There are tunnel connections under all but three of the parcels. Bo must have hidden all this from his family, greedy fuck.” Brody looked at Emma, and each had a shocked expression. Emma closed her eyes and shook her head, “Do you think…” “Yeah I think, Clive the place in the Netherlands, is there a tunnel?” Brody sat up and cringed. “Yes, it has a connecting tunnel, the plans are to connect it to this one here,” Clive pointed to the map. “Clive has anyone searched the tunnels,” Emma asked quietly. “No, for …” Clive looked up at them, “No fucking way!” “Get someone on it, I want to talk to Collin. When the FUCK can I get out of here!” Brody snapped. “Please Brody, just try to calm down, please,” Emma pleaded. Zachery Taylor walked in the door, “Brody how are you feeling?” Brody looked at Zachery, “What are you doing here?” “Zack used to work for the ISA, he left when they merged with the CRB,” Clive started to explain. “What? You …seriously what the fuck…” Brody was angry. “My little sister went missing about five years ago. I went to work for the ISA after being in the Royal
Marines. We never made any gain, and I was fed up. When the talks of a merge began I left. I met James while trying to continue to figure out what to do next, he was drunk and enjoyed telling stories about your youth. Your band was looking for a singer to replace you and my gut told me to do it,” Zachery explained. “I thought…well I was sure it would lead me in the right direction. I was right, but not about you. A man who works for Collin caught me following you the night Maddox was found. I’ve been working with him ever since. I want the same thing as you do Hines.” Emma was shocked and staring at Zack, “That’s why you warned me about his dreams?” “What?” Brody asked loudly. “He text messaged me…a long time ago, after the benefit,” Emma slowly looked away from Zack at Brody. “Really Em, and you didn’t think you should have told me that?” Brody snapped. “Obviously I wasn’t concerned, but… you’re mad?” Emma asked baffled. “I don’t know,” Brody barked. “Listen, I’m trying to find my sister, I have connections. I’m here for the same reason you are now,” Zack said trying to redirect the conversation. “Zack was there last night Brody, he was with Collin tied up when everything went down. I was outside and knew nothing until shots were fired. He’s also the reason you are not in custody,” Clive explained. “Hines, you were pretty damn stupid, the way you talked to Bo last night, you are lucky he didn’t shoot you right there,” Zack laughed. “I was pissed,” Brody looked away. “I gathered,” Zack laughed. “Look I need to move on this before word gets out if there’s anything you can tell me I would appreciate it.” “I think they’re moving people through the tunnels, I wouldn’t go it alone,” Brody told him. Emma held his hands tighter, and he looked at her and closed his eyes and looked back at Zack. “Clive, give him everything you’ve got. Zack, you should speak to my brother, he’s been working on these for years believing it was for the country, his love of our Queen,” Brody smiled remembering how much Bobby loved her growing up. “I want to know everything, don’t hold back on me. Find the investors for the resort in the Netherlands, when I’m released I’ll…” Emma unknowingly squeezed his hand harder and closed her eyes looking away. Brody glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, “When I’m able I’ll be going home. My children start school in two days.” Emma turned quickly towards him and let out the breath she was holding, and he smiled at her. “That sound alright to you love?” Emma nodded her head and hugged him tightly. His face scrunched up, and he held in his desire to cry out in pain. Her holding him was worth it, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. “Emma,” Zach said, and she let go and turned away from Brody and looked at him. “You have a great man here.” “I know, thank you,” Emma smiled and wiped away tears. Zach smiled at her, “Brody, when all of this is done I would like to speak to Maddox, just show him a picture of her if you feel like he can handle it, if not I understand.” “Of course,” Brody agreed. “I’ll be in touch,” Zack started to leave. “Be careful, call Collin, I pray you find her,” Emma stood up and hugged him. Brody looked down, and Zach laughed, “Thanks Emma. Thank you Brody.” When Zach left Brody looked at Clive, “Does he have back up?” “Yes, and he has connections like you wouldn’t believe,” Clive smiled.
“I want you to make sure Bobby’s alright and then make sure he had nothing to do with this…I know he didn’t…I just want to know we’re all safe again.” Clive started leaving, “Hey thank you Clive, and thank you brother.” “Of course,” Clive smiled and walked out. “Emma would you please fetch a doctor, we need to get home,” Brody smiled.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Brody stepped out of his driveway and breathed in the late summer air, “We’re home Em.” Emma smiled up at him, “Yes we are.” “When will the children be here?” Brody asked. “Anytime now,” Emma took his hand and they walked towards the house. He stopped outside the door and scuffed his feet on the doormat, “Clean off your feet Love?” Emma smiled, “Okay but there isn’t any mud.” “Please,” he pouted. Emma rubbed her feet against the mat and started to punch in the code, “Are you sure they are clean?” Emma smiled and began to laugh, “Pretty sure.” She scuffed them again and looked down, the welcome mat had been replaced, and she smiled as she read it. We Chased Happiness and Caught It. Loving each other more each day. Always and Forever. Brody, Emma, Maddox, London, and Lexington. “You...” Emma started to cry, “You are my world, my more, my everything. I love you Brody so much.” Brody groaned and laughed, “Em could you love me just a little less, my ribs love.” “Oh sorry,” Emma stepped back and scowled. “Until they heal you better stop being so adorable.” Brody laughed, “When they heal I’m going to make you regret calling me adorable Em. I’m not a child or a dog…” “Or a Birdie,” Emma grinned. “Speaking of Birdie, you promised me anything I want, remember?” Brody gloated. “I may be rethinking,” Emma smiled as she walked in the door and he followed her. “No way Em,” Brody laughed, “I think I get a week of anything I want, did you see my boo boo’s love?” “I did, and Brody, you can have anything you want from now until the end of time,” Emma blushed. “Oh Em, that’s a good girl,” Brody licked his lips quickly. “Starting when Em?” Emma looked out the door, “Probably at about nine o’clock tonight. Go have a seat, so they don’t pounce.” “They’re here,” Brody smiled. “They are,” Emma kissed him. “Now go please sit and relax, I’m your nurse for the next few weeks.” “Naughty nurse Emma, sounds delightful,” Brody winked as he headed towards the family room. Brody walked into the family room, and the room exploded into applause and ’Welcome Homes.’ Brody laughed, “You mean literally here.” “Yes,” Emma laughed, “Now sit please.” Brody sat, and each child carefully hugged him except for Lexington, she all but dove on him. He held her tightly and laughed through the pain. Henry and Caroline explained that they brought them home the night before, and Collin had people check the premises before. Dinner was already made, and they all ate together. “Where are the pups?” Brody asked Maddox. “Outside, so they don’t jump on you,” Maddox smiled. “Birdie is upstairs shall I…” “Maddox I don’t think I could handle that right now. I’m awfully ill you know,” Brody smiled. “What did you name them?” “Hey London, Dad wants to know what we named the pups,” Maddox called her over.
“Mine is Bailey,” London smiled waiting for Maddox. “Mine would be Shakespeare,” Maddox chuckled. “Very nice names,” Brody smiled. Lila and Mark stopped in as well. Plans were set in place for an interview with Matt in three days. “Look at you,” Emma rubbed Lila’s belly. “Unreal isn’t it?” Lila smiled at her. “It’s going to be amazing, you are going to have the coolest baby,” Emma grinned. “I hope it’s a girl, her and Lexi would be so close.” Lila rubbed her belly. “They would, they shared a womb,” Emma giggled. “Sort of womb mates,” Lila laughed out loud. They looked at each other in silence for a brief moment, “What a crazy two years.” “Definitely crazy but more than worth all the heartache. I have you back in my life, a husband who I adore and three beautiful children, two are thanks to you.” Emma smiled and looked at the children talking with Brody. “Two?” Lila looked confused. “Lexi for obvious reasons and Maddox, well had I never met Brody I wouldn’t have him,” Emma’s smile was full of gratitude. Lila giggled, “Awe thanks, and I wouldn’t have met Mark if not for you. I have to tell you I think I got the better end of the stick.” “I’m glad you feel that way…but my Music Man, well he rocks my world.” Emma laughed at how corny she sounded. She looked at Brody who was listening in, and he smiled and winked. *** “Your parents have decided to move in,” Brody smiled. “I’m very glad they did,” Emma sat next to him in bed. “I’m as well, it’ll be good for all the kids,” Brody laid back and groaned. “The medicine will kick in soon,” Emma said sadly. “It’s going to knock me out,” Brody frowned. “At least you won’t be in pain,” Emma kissed him quickly. Brody grabbed her face, “I want more.” Emma kissed him cautiously, and he laughed, “I’m not that fragile Em.” “I don’t want to hurt you,” Emma smiled, “I have an idea.” Emma reached her hand down under the covers, and Brody smiled, “Whatcha gonna do with that?” “Anything you want,” Emma smiled back. “Em, these meds are starting to kick in,” Brody fought to keep his eyes open, and his smile slowly began to disappear as he fell asleep. Emma reluctantly let go of him and watched him sleep. He was home, he was safe, and he was hers, always and forever. She lay down next to him and rubbed his cheek softly, and he opened his eyes briefly and smiled and closed his eyes again. *** Emma walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen and made a cup of decaffeinated tea, she sat on the couch and turned on her iPad. She looked through her email and read a letter from her boss. She smiled at the kindness they had given her over the past year and responded sending her gratitude and
expressing her need to get back into work mode. She heard someone clear their throat and looked up at Maddox and smiled, “You can’t sleep?” “No,” he sat next to her. “Are you nervous about school?” She asked. “A bit,” he admitted. “That is perfectly normal,” Emma smiled. “Did you pick out what you’re going to wear?” “Well, London and Grandma Caroline did,” he smiled, and Emma laughed. “You wear whatever you want,” Emma patted his hand. Maddox smiled, “Will you tell me what is going on?” “Ask me anything you want to know Maddox,” Emma stood up. “But first would you like a drink or a snack?” “Water would be great,” Maddox answered. Emma returned with water and a sliced apple, “Alright ask away.” “Is he dead?” Maddox asked. “Yes,” Emma answered. “Good, and do they know what role he played?” Maddox asked quietly. “They’ve figured it out, they will figure more out during the investigation.” Emma looked at Maddox and saw relief flooding his face. “And the other children, have they found anything out about them?” Maddox looked at her. Emma took a moment, “Maddox can I ask a question?” “Anything,” he answered. “Where you ever in a tunnel or underground?” Emma asked. “Between moves I believe once,” Maddox looked at her with concern. “Well we think that’s how they move the kids without being detected. They’re working on that now. We hope that it brings answers,” Emma smiled gently. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Maddox’s tone was full of need. “I’m sure there’s a lot. But first we need to try to give you time to adjust Maddox, to be a kid.” Emma sadly looked at him. “I’m pretty sure I bypassed the kid stage,” Maddox smiled. “And I’m truly sorry for that,” Emma looked at him. “No, don’t be sorry. I’ve watched my father and Collin who have both been through some horrific life experiences and they are men to definitely look up to. You and Tessa aren’t like women in books, you’re strong yet nurturing, you would do anything for your children, and I’m very proud to be one of them now. What I see in all of you is that you don’t sit idly by waiting for something to happen and you don’t get stuck in your troubles. I won’t either,” Maddox smiled. “You haven’t Maddox, you’re such a beautiful soul, I’m in awe of you,” Emma hugged him. “When you walk into that school tomorrow you’re going to be older than all of them, not in years but in wisdom. Do not forget that, don’t forget who you are in here,” Emma touched his heart. Maddox smiled, “I’ll remember that. I’ll also remember who my family is.” “Awe you’re so brilliantly wonderful,” Emma smiled. “Okay it’s late, we have an early morning.” “Bedtime?” Maddox smiled. “Yes, sorry,” Emma smiled weakly. *** Brody walked down the stairs and watched as Emma and Caroline fussed over London and Maddox. He watched Caroline braid London’s long dark hair making sure that it was perfect. Caroline went after Maddox next. Brody watched his son smile at her and then when she looked away he let out a breath and
ran his hands through his hair and messed it up. Brody laughed, and they all turned and looked at him, “Good morning everyone.” Emma smiled, “Good morning do you need anything? Pain meds and a drink?” “I wouldn’t want to drop the children off at school today high Love. I’m sure there’s enough talk about me, I wouldn’t want to add to it.” Brody smiled and walked up to her, “Good morning Love.” He kissed her sweetly, and she smiled. “You should really try to relax,” he whispered. “Good morning, you should be the one relaxing,” Emma kissed him quickly and moved to the counter. “Alright, money has been added to your accounts for lunch, you should get personal identification numbers from your teacher this morning. I packed lunches but if you’re still hungry feel free to buy. There are notes in your bags with new contact information and emergency contacts. If something happens you’re to call grandma immediately, both of you have cell phones. I don’t care what they say at school, have them on you, hide in the bathroom and text if you need us. It’ll take less than fifteen minutes for us to get to you. There are guards at your schools, you are safe there,” Emma took a deep breath. “You’ll both have an amazing day, new friends and opportunities await,” Brody wrapped his arm around Emma’s shoulder and smiled at her. “Sorry,” Emma whispered and he kissed her head. “Just so you know Maddox, it’s the same every year,” London rolled her eyes, and Maddox laughed at her. “You’re lucky you only have one year of it. You’re going to be just fine brother.” “Thank you sister,” he kissed the top of her head. “We ready to roll Clive?” London yelled. “He isn’t here yet,” Brody laughed. “Who’s driving us?” London asked shocked. “We will,” Emma smiled at her. “You better, Daddio is all banged up,” London giggled. “Did you two feed the dogs?” Emma asked. They both laughed and took off to get the dogs food. “Are you feeling alright?” Emma felt Brody’s head. “I’m fine,” Brody gabbed her hands and smiled at her. “I was thinking I may need a sponge bath from my naughty nurse after…” Brody stopped when he heard someone clear their throat. Henry raised his eyebrow and shook his head at Brody and Brody looked down and bit his lips so he wouldn’t laugh. He looked up at Emma and she was bright red. “It’s not like he hasn’t heard worse out of your mouth Em,” Brody whispered, and Emma giggled. “My poor father,” Emma smiled and watched Henry walk out of the room. “We should get him a bell,” Brody joked, and Emma smiled. *** Brody and Emma walked into the house quietly and looked around. “Wow, this is odd,” Brody looked at Emma. “Are you going to be alright?” Emma asked. “I’m sick to my stomach and unsure if it’s because I’m hungry or that we’ve just left them …oh Em, this sucks,” Brody laughed uncomfortably. “I know right?” Emma took his hand and walked to the kitchen. “I’ll make you some breakfast and then if you want we can spend the day driving between schools and peering in the windows.” “We would get arrested,” Brody smiled as he sat. “Lexi will be awake very soon, she’ll keep you occupied,” Emma smiled as she cracked eggs into the frying pan.
“She loves me,” Brody smiled and sat back crossing his arms over his chest. “She does,” Emma giggled. “You love me,” he said chuckling. “I do,” Emma looked over at him and watched him beam. “What a wonderful life we have Emma. Well minus the past year or so,” Brody smiled at her again. “I love the doormat,” Emma said as she flipped the eggs. Emma sat the plate in front of him and leaned on the breakfast counter and smiled. He smiled back at her, “Thank you love.” “You’re very welcome.” Emma watched him eat, and he looked up at her through his insanely long lashes. “See something you like?” He winked. Emma blushed and turned around, “I’m going to get you some fruit.” “Hey Em, do you think that, wow this is strange,” Brody paused, and Emma turned towards him and smiled. “I would like to take you on a date, when I’m better. I have never taken you on a real date Emma.” Emma set the plate of fruit on the breakfast bar and shook her head yes and chewed a grape, “Where would we go?” “I have no idea,” Body laughed. “We are having a breakfast date now,” Emma smiled and shoved a grape in his mouth. Brody laughed, “Yes we are.” “I don’t need a date Brody,” Emma smiled adoringly at him. “Besides, wait until we see what the kids bring home today. Permission slips, different sports and clubs they want to join, homework out of their ears, life is about to get …well stay crazy,” Emma smiled. Brody looked at her, “Alright then, how about a honeymoon? We haven’t done that yet either Em.” “Okay, whatever you want, we’ll figure it out.” Emma looked at the monitor and smiled, “Lexi’s awake, I’ll go grab her and then you two can finish breakfast together.” *** Brody waited and listened to Emma talking to Lexington through the monitor. Emma was telling her that Daddy was waiting and Lexington was laughing. Nothing sounded as beautiful to him as the two of them carrying on. “See I told you,” Emma smiled as Lexi was trying to wiggle out of her arms. “Daddy,” Lexi dove for him and hugged him. “Princess, good morning,” Brody hugged her tightly and Lexi tried to get down. “Birdie Daddy, Birdie,” Lexington clapped. “Oh wonderful,” Brody smiled at her. “Up Daddy, Birdie up,” Lexington carried on. “Oh Lexi, Daddy can’t pick Birdie up,” Brody frowned to her, “Lets you and I eat.” Emma laughed at him, and he rolled his eyes, “What the hell was I thinking?” *** Brody was on the phone when Emma walked down the stairs after putting Lexington down for her nap, he patted the spot beside him, and Emma sat down as he hung up the phone. He looked frustrated and angry. “They found where I was held, Clive says it matches the video footage perfectly. I was in a fucking tunnel. They’re holding Bobby and interrogating him, Clive isn’t allowed in.” “Okay well there are some answers we were looking for right?” Emma held his hand.
“Sure Emma,” he sat back. Emma looked down at their hands and rubbed her hands slowly across his knuckles. “Zack’s in there with Bobby, which pisses me off,” Brody grumbled. “I’m sorry you’re upset Brody,” Emma said sadly. “I just want more answers Em. I want to be able to tell Maddox something good when he gets here,” Brody closed his eyes. “Call Zack,” Emma suggested. “We don’t have his number,” Brody laughed. “I do,” Emma grabbed his phone and thumbed through it and handed it to him, “Call him.” Brody looked at her, “Why do you have …” “He sent me a text, the night…” Emma began. “Oh that’s right, the night you left with him,” Brody scowled. Emma laughed, “Sorry.” He looked up at her, and his face was unreadable, “Are you mad Brody?” He looked up at the ceiling, “Frustrated as hell.” “What can I do to help?” Emma was concerned for him. Brody laughed, “Just keep doing what you’re doing Emma, I’m going to be a bear.” “I won’t let you,” Emma smiled and kissed him. “Let me get you some pain meds?” “Emma, I’m truly fine for a bit,” Brody held her hand tightly. “Okay, call Zach, I’m going to make you lunch.” Brody looked at her and smiled, “You’re amazing.” “I know,” she giggled, “and so are…” “You know, pretty confident are we,” Brody kissed her hand and laughed. “Sure am, I have this guy in my life, who loves me enough to tell me very often and who shows me every day, so yes, I’m pretty confident. I only hope I do the same for him,” Emma smiled. “Oh you do, damn we are …” Brody looked at Emma and stopped talking. Emma wiped her mouth, “Is there something on my lip?” Brody shook his head no and closed his eyes trying not to laugh. “Seriously you’re staring at my mouth if there is something on my lips it would be rude of you not to tell me,” Emma sat back. “Just admiring Em,” Brody chuckled. “You are sure?” Emma wiped her lips. Brody looked at her, “There could be.” Emma looked confused and then looked in his dark eyes, “Oh…oh.” Emma stood up and took his hand, “Where are you taking me Em?” “To the office, the door locks,” Emma smiled. Emma pointed to the chair and locked the door behind her. “So what is it you wanted?” Emma smiled with pride. “I want very badly to be inside you right now Em,” Brody looked at her and raised his eyebrow, “Very bad Em.” “I thought you were talking about my mouth Brody,” Emma knelt in front of him and released him from his loose sweats, “Looks like you’re all set.’ “Why don’t you sit up on my lap Love,” Brody clenched his jaw. Emma looked up at him and slowly rubbed her tongue across his tip looking up into his eyes. Brody’s mouth was opened slightly, and she repeated the movement. “Em, please just climb your hot little ass up here.” Emma scooted between his legs and kissed his inner thigh lightly and ran her tongue up the length of
him. “Fuck come on Em, get up here,” he growled. Emma took him in her mouth almost completely and moved fast. Each time he touched the back of her throat he let out a strangled moan, “Awe fuck Em, please…” Emma continued until he growled her name and she tasted him, pumping him until he was empty in her mouth. She sat back on her heels and looked up at him. “I must be getting better at this,” Emma smiled proudly at him. Brody opened his eyes and looked down at her, “Why would you say that?” “It didn’t take as long,” Emma stood and kissed him and smiled at him. “Em that’s the wrong thing to say to a man,” Brody closed his eyes. “Oh, sorry…why?” Emma asked and pulled a chair next to him and took him in her hand again. Brody looked at her and smiled, “I work pretty damn hard not to explode on impact love, every time.” “I hurt your feelings?” Emma asked. “No Emma…” “You do know ninety nine percent of the time I’ve come at least three or four times before you and I can barely walk right? So I’m going to enjoy that I just got you off,” Emma stroked him gently. “And I’m going to enjoy doing it again, and it looks like it will happen pretty soon.” Brody smiled at her, “When I get my strength back, you are so fucked Em.” “Is that supposed to be a threat? Because I’m not afraid of you at all Music Man, kind of turns me on,” Emma laughed and knelt down again. “Hey Brody,” Emma looked up at him, cocked her head and winked, “Sit back and enjoy, I’m going to suck your brain straight.” Brody laughed and pulled her hair to the side so he could watch as she moved from his thighs to his scrotum and teased him as his erection twitched each time she lightly rubbed her tongue across it. “Sounds like beautiful torture Em.” *** Emma and Brody sat on the couch snuggled up with Lexi between them when the phone rang. “Hello this is Emma…yes of course…we will be right there.” Emma hung up the phone and looked at Brody, “Problem at school.” They walked into the main office at Maddox’s school, and he was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest scowling down with Caroline sitting next to him. Caroline looked up, “Let me take Lexington, the principal’s waiting, they called me down here from London’s school, I called you as soon as I could.” Caroline looked at Maddox and bent down and kissed his head, “I love you.” They sat in the office, and the principal walked in and sat down. “Good afternoon, thank you for stopping in, I could have handled this, but Caroline jumped the …” “You all were told if there was a problem to call us immediately,” Brody sneered. “Maddox why didn’t you call?” “They took my phone,” Maddox looked back down. “He’s enrolled with us, and we take care of these types…” the principal started. “Excuse me, but his situation is a bit different wouldn’t you say?” Emma asked. “Regardless, rules are rules, kids are resilient, we’ll make sure he understands,” the Principal looked at Maddox. Emma looked at Brody, and he was several different shades of red and about ready to blow. Emma held his hand gently and rubbed it, “What happened Maddox?” “Some kid wouldn’t leave this girl alone, I told him to. He shoved me and continued, he then put his hand on her. I told him to leave her the fuck alone, he pushed me, and I punched him in the eye,” Maddox
was unemotional in his description. “Alright where is the other student?” Emma asked Maddox. “I assume in class,” Maddox looked at Emma. “This is Maddox’s word against the other student, who’s been here for four years Mrs. Hines,” the Principal responded smugly. “Do you have videos, did you ask the girl, or are you simply going to blame Maddox, does that make your job easier?” Emma’s voice was shaking. “I am well aware of my job Mrs. Hines,” he snapped. “Listen pal, watch your tone with my wife. Who is your boss? Get him here and the other students. You may want to take some notes as well or have someone take them for you because you sure don’t retain information. Maddox don’t answer a damn thing they ask you without Em or I present, ever okay?” Brody was livid and looked back at the principal, “Do you need help pushing the buttons on your phone Dudley?” Maddox smirked, and Emma kicked him causing him to laugh. “You may want to watch your tone Mr. Hines,” Dudley warned him. “You may want to dial your phone Dudley,” Brody mimicked him. Dudley left the room, and Emma scolded Maddox and Brody. She dialed her phone and called the pediatrician’s office and spoke to his doctor quietly while Maddox and Brody talked to one another. “Thank you Karen, it is very much appreciated,” Emma hung up, and Brody looked curiously at her. “I don’t like Dudley douchebag Em,” Brody smiled and Maddox laughed. “Okay I don’t like him either but as far as area schools go, my Mom is here and I feel that the kids are safer with her here okay?” Emma looked down. “Okay, sorry Em,” Brody said softly noticing her trying to keep herself together. They waited for twenty minutes until Dudley returned with the two other students and their parents. “Interesting that their parents are phoned only after we cause a commotion Dudley and where is your boss?” Brody tried to keep calm. “I am his boss, the superintendent of the school, and this is my son Richard,” the man in the suit sat in Dudley’s chair. “Oh I see now,” Brody laughed. “No Mr. Hines I don’t think you do. My son has a black eye because or your child’s inability to control his temper,” he looked at Brody and sat back. “I want to see whatever video footage you have,” Brody took his sunglasses off and the two students gasped. Maddox looked at Emma and smiled and Emma patted his knee. “Well I apologize but the surveillance cameras in that wing of the school don’t seem to be working, we are waiting to have someone come in to fix them soon,” Richard Sr. responded almost smugly. “Of course, now Dudley would you like to question the children or shall I?” Brody asked. Dudley looked nervously at Richard. “Oh what a waste of time. Miss I don’t know your name, but if you tell a boy no, it means no if they continue you scream. Young Dick, just because your daddy is a dick doesn’t mean you have to follow in his footsteps…” “That’s enough!” Richard senior snapped. “Have a seat Dick. Here’s the deal, I won’t be punishing my son for defending a girl or himself over a little Dick’s behavior. Little Dick only learned his grotesque behavior from someone I assume is a dick. Moral to the story children, don’t be a dick.” Brody sat forward, “Maddox, son you’re to call us if people around here start treating you like the two dumb dicks here.” “Students are not allowed cell phones Mr. Hines,” Dudley said nervously.
“Little Dick what’s in your pocket?” Brody asked. “That is none of your business,” Richard snapped. “Okay DICK let's assume it’s a cell phone…” Brody started to stand. “Brody, it’s alright. Dr. Green is faxing a note saying he is allowed, I don’t think…Richard, or Dudley will have a problem with that will you?” Emma asked. Neither answered the question. “Okay, we’ve wasted enough time here, are you alright?” Emma asked the girl. “Yes,” she whispered. “Don’t let anyone touch you like that if it happens again…” Emma started. “We don’t have evidence it in fact did happen Mrs. Hines,” Richard snapped. “Again, watch the tone big Dick,” Brody growled. “Is that a threat?” Richard snapped. “Oh no, my Dad doesn’t threaten,” Maddox chuckled. “Okay Maddox,” Emma said calmly, “Richard when is the next board meeting?” Richard didn’t respond, “My wife asked you a question…” “Okay Brody,” Emma held his hand. The final bell rang, and Emma looked at Richard, “We have a great lawyer Richard and a bit of free time on our hands. Our son better not have any more problems and this girl better not be touched again, do you understand?” Richard’s face was red, “Yes.” “Good, Maddox you should go grab your things, your Dad and I will wait here. It’s time to celebrate a great first day of school,” Emma smiled sarcastically. “I’m really not sure yet which way to go,” Maddox said softly. “I can take you Maddox, my name is Chloe,” the dark haired girl smiled at him, and they walked out. Richard Jr. glared at them when they walked out. “Little Dick, if my son has one more issue with you, I will kick your father’s ass,” Brody smiled. “That’s it call the police, he threatened me,” Richard Sr. yelled. “Oh Dick there was no threat in what I just said to little dickey over here,” Brody sneered at him. “Okay let’s go wait for Maddox,” Emma turned to Chloe’s parents, “Sorry about this.” “Don’t be, thank you,” the man smiled. Caroline handed Lexington to Emma, “How did that go?” “It went,” Brody was still agitated. “What are your dinner plans?” Caroline asked. “We are going out for pizza,” Brody smiled at Lexington. “We are?” Emma gasped. “Yes we are,” Brody kissed Lexington. “Brody I don’t think…” Emma looked at him nervously. “Then don’t think Em,” Brody kissed her quickly. “Caroline, we’ll bring dinner home for you and Henry.” Caroline smiled at Emma who was still looking at Brody with her jaw dropped. Brody looked at her and smiled. He gently pushed her lower jaw up, and she closed her mouth. “Does things to me Em,” he winked. “Alright Maddox, let’s go fetch London we’re going out.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Emma climbed into bed and smiled at Brody who was busy on his iPad. “What are you doing?” Emma asked kissing his cheek. “I just messaged Eli to update him on the school situation. I’m now looking at the press releases in London, lots of arrests have been made,” Brody smiled and kissed her head. “Are you feeling alright?” Emma asked, “I forgot to grab your medicine.” “Emma I’m fine,” Brody smiled and looked back at the screen. Emma lay on her back and stretched, “Good.” “You alright Em?” Brody patted her head and continued reading. “Yep, just stretching,” Emma rolled to her stomach and arched her back, stuck her chest out. “You sure you are alright Em,” Brody tried not to smile. “Yep,” Emma tucked her knees under her and stretched, so her finger tips reached the edge of the bed. Brody watched her out of the corner of his eye as she arched her back, so her bottom was slightly elevated. He looked away when she looked towards him, he heard her let out a muffled frustrated noise, and she sat. “Would it bother you if I watched TV?” “You want to watch TV?” Brody smiled. “Yep,” Emma laid on her belly and spread her knees and hooked her ankles. “Can I have the remote?’ Brody caught a glimpse of her lavender silk panties and smiled to himself. “Yes Em, anything you want,” he handed her the remote. Emma dropped it off the edge of the bed. “Oops,” she said loudly. She bent over the edge of the bed, reached out for the remote purposely exposing her backside to him. “Oh shit,” Emma fell off the end of the bed and popped up quickly with the remote. Brody laughed and grabbed a pillow holding it to his stomach, “You okay Em?” “Yes I’m fine,” Emma let out a frustrated breath and sat on the bed. Brody set his iPad on the nightstand and sat behind her and scooted wrapping his arms and legs around her, “That was quite a show Em.” “I fell,” Emma said trying to sound like it wasn’t a big deal. Brody laughed, “Sure Em.” “I fell Brody, you saw me,” Emma said quietly. “I certainly saw you Em.” Brody kissed her neck, “I saw you stretching seductively trying to gain my attention.” “Well it didn’t work until I fell off the bed,” Emma pouted and Brody giggled into her neck. “Not true Em, when you stretched on your back you exposed the little scare that hypnotized me from the very first time I saw it. Then you rolled to your stomach and arched your back pushing your chest out, I met them first Em, in the city on Lila’s bathroom counter,” Brody’s fingers lightly caressed them over her nightshirt. “Then you arched that hot little ass in the air and I began to harden. And then you lay on your belly that I once took such care of with kisses after giving you shots in order for us to create Lexington together,” Brody rubbed his palm down low on her stomach. “You then spread your knees revealing lavender silk, one of my favorite colors on you, covering the breathtaking place I would spend every waking moment kissing, caressing, rubbing and being wrapped in Em.” Emma moaned as he rubbed between her legs, “Then I fell.” “You fell, are you sure you are alright Emma?” Brody rubbed her delicately around her clit.
“Uh huh,” Emma’s head fell back into his shoulder, and she whimpered. “Do you remember earlier I wanted you to climb up on me Em?” Brody licked and nipped her neck as he pushed a finger inside her. “Oh yes…yes,” Emma moaned. “Do you think you could possibly consider filling that need now love?” Brody rubbed his thumb around her clit and slid another finger inside her slowing and lightly caressing her sweet spot. “Yes please…,” she moaned breathlessly. “Do you need me Em?” Brody continued pleasuring her. “Yes,” Emma moaned as she began to feel the burning. “Anytime,” Brody pulled his hand away, “Turn around Em.” Emma turned, and he pulled his pants down quickly, “Lay down Love.” Emma did as he asked. “You make me so fucking hard all the time Em.” Emma whimpered loudly and covered her face in embarrassment. “Fuck Em, that bad huh?” Brody uncovered her face, and she closed her eyes tightly, “Alright Love.” Brody slowly pushed into her, and she clenched her teeth and hissed and pushed into his thrust. “Shit,” he groaned and arched his back. “Are…you…okay,” Emma asked between breaths. Brody winced, “Uh huh.” “Stop…lay on your back,” Emma sat up and kissed him quickly moving to the side. She let out a moan when he pulled out. He was frustrated, “Sorry Em.” “No, you don’t,” Emma smiled and mounted him. She started slowly and moved faster resting her hands back on his thighs, and she fell apart almost immediately. She arched her back and slowed down. “Don’t stop now love,” Brody clenched his jaw. Emma put her feet in front of her and bounced up and down, and she began to burn again, this time she stopped and her toes curled into the duvet as she exploded. “Em, I’m going to kick your ass if you keep stopping,” Brody laughed and winced. “I’m sorry,” Emma panted. “Off the bed Em,” Brody smiled and pointed, she scampered off the bed. “Bend over and hold on.” Emma couldn’t move as he continued to pound into her spent body, he pushed her hair to the side so he could watch her face. “Em,” Brody exploded inside of her and then lay on the bed next to her. Emma looked at him, “You’re in pain.” “Hurts, but well worth it, Em are you hungry?” He giggled. “No, but if you are…” Emma began. “No, but you were biting the hell out of our bed,” he smiled. “Very hot by the way, made me come earlier than anticipated.” Emma blushed and hid her head in her hands and laughed. “I love you Em,” Brody panted. “I love you more,” Emma smiled at him. “You better,” Brody stood and smacked her butt. “Drug me wench?” Emma stood and smiled at him, “Anything you want.” *** “Good morning,” Emma opened the door to the slew of The Today Show camera people and Matt. “Set up in the family room Mrs. Hines?”
“Sure,” Emma smiled as she held the door for everyone. “Good morning Emma,” Matt smiled as he walked in. “It is a good morning, I have coffee, tea, and scones for everyone,” Emma closed the door behind him. “Overdid it Love,” Brody walked in and kissed her and shook Matt’s hand, “Matt.” Matt laughed, “You got your ass kicked.” Brody smiled unable to hold it back, “I did and then I shot the fucker.” “Brody,” Emma scolded, and Matt laughed. “Can I quote you on that?” Matt joked. The family room was set up, and Emma brought in a tray of scones and handed them out. “Are you going to behave? We’re live,” Matt smiled. “As long as you do,” Brody smiled back. Lila walked in the room, “Sorry I’m late.” “They haven’t started yet.” Emma hugged her, “I love your belly.” “Yeah me too, but you are going to have to help me get rid of this one to,” Lila rolled her eyes. “Anything you want,” Emma smiled. “Alright we should get started,” Matt smiled at Emma. Emma sat next to Brody and held his hand. “Still not used to this huh Love?” Brody kissed her cheek. “No,” Emma smiled. “Good morning we’re live at the Hines estate with Brody and Emma Hines, how are you two doing?” Matt smiled. “We’re well,” Brody answered. “Just so you know Brody you’re not looking all that great,” Matt laughed. “I know, thank you for pointing that out,” Brody smiled. “Ten stitches above your eye, a severe concussion, and a couple broken and bruised ribs?” Matt smiled. “I think that sums it up pretty well,” Brody smiled shyly. “I don’t think traveling to England is a great idea for you Brody,” Matt laughed. “Well it’s pretty much the same as it is here, except we don’t get followed around by paparazzi as much in England,” Brody smiled. Matt laughed, “Last time we sat down we met Maddox, your son, Lexington, your daughter, and London…” “My daughter, yes. The whole family,” Brody smiled. “Everyone’s breathing a little easier now I hear?” Matt looked at Emma. “Um, yes we are. Finally,” Emma smiled at Brody and he squeezed her hand reassuring her. “Your name has been cleared of all bogus charges, which is wonderful,” Matt looked at Brody. “Yes, now we can continue moving forward,” Brody smiled at Emma. “Is there anything you would like to say to your fans?” Matt asked. “Actually yes, thank you for the support through all of this and believing in me,” Brody smiled. “Are you worried that you have lost some fans?” Matt asked. “No, those who truly are fans are that because of the music, the people who have made slanderous remarks or chose not to buy our records, well it is their choice. I hold nothing against them. It’s never been about that for me. Making music is my passion, and I’ve been blessed being able to do what I love and make a good living doing so. I’ve met some wonderful people along my journey as a musician, so I’m happy,” Brody smiled at the camera. “That’s great Brody.” Matt shook his head, “How do you feel knowing your sister and uncle were behind your disappearance and that they also knew of Maddox?”
“Well it pisses me off, but Maddox is healthy and fine. He’s very smart and adjusting wonderfully. He’s a very kind soul. And well, Bo and Rebecca are dead, they have to be judged by God, and I’m sure he can dish it out much better than I can.” Brody smiled, “It’s very hard knowing that the people who you thought you could trust, you couldn’t.” “But you seem happier than you ever have Brody,” Matt observed. “I have a wonderful family and a great group of people I know I can trust. I have fans who still love my music, I won’t wallow in shit…” Brody looked at Matt apologetically. “Well we almost got through one segment with Brody Hines without needing that delay,” Matt laughed. “I’m working on that, sorry,” Brody laughed. “Daddy,” Lexington came running into the family room chasing the cat. Matt looked at the cat and laughed, “What is that thing?” “We adopted some pets on a weekend family trip,” Brody laughed, and Emma picked up Lexington and she climbed on Brody’s lap. “Brody Brody,” Lexington laughed. “She calls you Brody?” Matt laughed. “No, it’s Daddy,” Brody looked at Lexington confused. “Brody!” she clapped, and the cat jumped on the couch and crawled across Brody’s lap. “She calls the cat Brody,” Matt laughed hysterically, “That cat.” “No, it’s Birdie,” Brody smiled, “Birdie Lexington.” She shook her head no, “Brody.” Lexington took Brody’s hand and rubbed it across the cat’s back, and Brody cringed. “Em?” Brody forced a smile and looked at her. Emma and Lila were trying not to laugh. “Is she calling that thing Brody?” he asked. “Well we thought she was saying Birdie,” Emma tried not to laugh, “But it turns out…” “Oh hell no,” Brody cringed, “Commercial break please.” The cameras turned off, and Emma and Lila laughed so hard they had tears falling down their face. “It’s sweet Brody, she loves that…that cat,” Lila laughed. “Well I think the damn…Lexington BIRDIE,” Brody smiled at her. “No, Brody Daddy,” Lexington smiled at him. “Emma, how the hell do we fix that? And could you please get this thing off my lap?” Brody pleaded. Brody looked at Matt and the camera crew, they were all trying their best not to laugh, and Emma took Birdie, “Birdie has to take a nap Lexi, come with Mommy?” Matt laughed when he looked at Brody, “Well that’s love Brody.” Brody shook his head, “It is going to have to be damn it, and I should have left it there.” “You chose that thing?” Matt laughed. “No, he just wouldn’t listen to her cry,” Emma walked back in and kissed Brody’s cheek. “Which was very sweet.” “No, it was only fair, the others got Saint Bernard’s,” Brody tried defending himself. “Oh, please bring them in,” Matt laughed. “The viewers will love this.” *** Emma and Brody sat on the couch and Emma smiled, “One more day until the weekend.” “It will be nice to have them home,” Brody yawned, “Zach wants to see Maddox are you alright with that?” “As long as you are,” Emma smiled. “He needs answers too Em, so do all those people out there, I couldn’t even…no I won’t. It will also
help Maddox, by the way have you talked to him today?” Brody yawned again. “I have, a couple texts. He seems great, that girl’s in a few of his classes, so he knows someone. Apparently her friends are very nice to him,” Emma smiled. “Good,” Brody closed his eyes and then opened them quickly. “We need to fix the issue with the cat,” Emma started to laugh. “No, I am serious Em, its Birdie, ok?” “Okay,” Emma smiled. *** The weekend was finally here, and London was up and ready to go bright and early. “Miss London why is it that you woke so much earlier today, without any of the coaxing that you needed in the past three days?” Brody smiled and opened his eyes feeling her watching them in their sleep. London giggled, “It’s family day.” “Yes it is, its also sleep in day, so climb your little fanny up in here and snuggle with us,” Brody tickled her chin. Emma laughed at them. “Not funny Em, I was asleep and I feel these big bright eyes tearing into me,” Brody laughed. “Well I missed you,” London tried the pouty face. “It’s still effective London, however it would be more so if it was not used so often,” Brody laughed and covered his head with the pillow. Maddox walked in the room, “Is everything alright?” London laughed and mimicked Brody, “Yes it is, but its sleep in day, so climb your little fanny up in here and snuggle with us.” Brody laughed, and Emma did too. “Brody!” they heard over the monitor. London and Maddox laughed, and Brody sat up and looked at them and they stopped laughing. “Why… don’t you two...” Emma looked up. “Three, look like the cat that ate the canary, you taught her that!” Brody yelled. They all laughed, and he gasped, “I was away risking my life and you taught her that?” Brody stood up and walked out of the room and grabbed Lexi, “Birdie, Birdie, Birdie.” He stomped in the room, “This weekend we deprogram her, understand you three?” Brody looked at London and scowled and pointed, “It was you wasn’t it?” London giggled and pointed to Maddox, and he laughed and flopped back on the bed, “Wasn’t London.” “Maybe if we get…say…a pony we might consider deprogramming her,” London raised her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips. “Oh London, you are in for it,” Brody scowled and walked out of the room. “Is he mad?” Maddox whispered, and Emma laughed. “Come here,” London took his hand and tiptoed to the door and pointed. Maddox looked out, and London and he both jumped and started laughing. “Shit take her,” Brody cringed in pain. “Are you alright?” Maddox gasped. “Yes, it just hurts like hell,” Brody cringed. Emma walked out in the hall to check on him, “Get back in bed and lay down. Dad needs to rest today, well for a few days.” “Yes ma’am,” Brody walked past London and stuck out his tongue. “He’s faking,” London laughed.
“Of course he’s not,” Emma scolded her, “I’ll make breakfast you stay in bed I’ll bring it up.” Emma kissed his head and walked out of the room. London looked at Brody and scowled. He patted the bed. “Stick with me kid,” he hugged London next to him. “Faker,” London scowled and laughed. “Am not,” Brody scowled and laughed back. “It really hurts doesn’t it?” London asked. “Yes it hurts, but I’m playing around too Princess,” Brody kissed her head. *** Zach spent several hours talking to Maddox. They went through photo albums and pictures online. Maddox was very engaged and wanted desperately to help him find anyone he could. “Can you leave these, or somehow get me copies? I want to look through them more,” Maddox asked. “Maddox, it’s really up to your parents. You need to live life for you now alright?” Zach patted his back and watched him flip through the pages again. “This is frustrating, there are so many,” Maddox sat back. “It’s a lot Maddox, I don’t want to overwhelm you okay,” Zach smiled. Zach handed him another album, and he got to the third page and stopped, “I know her, she was at the house, I know her!” “Good, do you know how long ago?” Zach asked. “Yes, before they all left together, she was there. I read to her, she was very young,” Emma stood up and walked over to them and sat next to Maddox and rubbed his back. “Zach how well did you check the tunnels?” Emma asked. “We find new hidden accesses all the time. When Brody’s brother gets well he is going to work with us to find more,” Zach answered. “They are in there Mr. Taylor; I spent at least two weeks underground once. It was a three hour car ride at night, so I have no idea where we were, but you should check the entire area three hours from where my home was,” Maddox insisted. Zach pulled out his smart phone and sent a message, “Maddox, thank you. If you think of anything else, please let your parents know and call me okay?” “Yes, but I’m not done with the picture books,” Maddox looked panicked. “I’ll email everything I have to you, from the last fifteen years Maddox. You need to take a break though, no longer than an hour a day. There are so many they will become just faces, and we never want that to happen.” Zach thanked him, Brody, and Emma and left. “Great job Maddox,” Brody hugged him. “Dad, they’re going to find her, oh please tell him her name was Lucy.” Maddox smiled, “She was such a nice little girl.” *** Over the next few weeks, Maddox searched the databases and recognized more children, over fifty total. He spent a lot of time on it. Brody and Emma sometimes found him asleep at his desk when they checked on him before going to bed. Neither had the heart to stop him but worried he was becoming consumed. They took the children out often, and Brody worked on his music every day. Zach called when they found Lucy, she was in fact in one of the tunnels. Her parents contacted Maddox and thanked him. He even spoke to Lucy on Skype, she cried a lot and he told her it would be alright. He told her to read and trust and move forward and not be in fear. It was then when he finally was
able to stop searching for longer than an hour a day. Maddox excelled in school and made friends easily, even Little Dick started acting human around him. Not that Maddox cared either way. He enjoyed the weekends the most. He was very much a part of his family, he loved them all as much as they loved him. *** Brody stood at the bottom of the stairs and Emma walked down in a dress smiling. Henry met her and walked her to Brody. Brody stood with Maddox, London and Lexington. She blushed and giggled when she got to them. “Marry me again Emma, knowing everything there is to know. The good and the bad will you do me the honor of saying yes to me a second time?” Brody smiled. “A second surprise wedding? How could I say no?” Emma smiled. “Well this time I come bearing gifts, I don’t know how you could say no,” Brody’s blue eyes sparkled. “What kind of gifts?” Emma grinned. “Well three actually, these three beautiful gifts have agreed to it. We’re just waiting for you.” Brody smiled brightly, “I bring you three hearts to combine with ours Emma. A family of five people who love each other more and whose hearts and lives will be wrapped always and forever together in love. What do you say Em, would you do it all again?” Emma closed her eyes and felt tears welling, “Of course.” “She said yes,” he whispered to the kids and smiled knowing they heard her. “Happy tears Mom?” London asked. “Absolutely, forever nothing less London,” Emma hugged her. The minister performed a unity ceremony, just the five of them and Henry and Caroline. When they finished London clapped and so did Lexington. Brody gave all three children platinum bands. “The ring signifies a never ending love. Each has the same inscription. We love each other more… Always and Forever,” Brody smiled. “You’re stuck with us forever you know,” Emma hugged Maddox. “I’m so happy I am,” Maddox smiled. “Alright, I’m taking your mother away for a bit if anyone needs anything Clive’s pulling in now.” Brody smiled, “Hugs and kisses my united crew of crazies.” *** “We don’t have to stay all night Em, but we can,” Brody smiled as they pulled into the hotel they had stayed at on their wedding night. “We are going to have dinner first.” Brody opened the door and held his hand out to her, she took it and smiled. He handed the valet the keys, and they walked into the hotel. Brody pulled her chair out, and she sat at the table near the stage in the lounge, “Drinks first?” “Are you trying to get me drunk?” Emma smiled. Brody winked, “Hell yeah.” He sat, and the waiter brought out a bottle of champagne and poured them each a glass. “What a crazy ride it’s been,” Brody smiled and pulled Emma’s chair closer to him. Emma smiled, “It has been.” “But yet you said yes again, I’m a lucky man,” Brody kissed her sweetly. “Oh no, I’m the lucky one, I…” Emma began. “No Emma, I never knew what life could be like, and with you I could never imagine it being any different,” Brody kissed her.
“I would say we are both lucky, blessed,” Emma blushed and looked up into his sexy smoldering eyes. “I have something for you,” he smiled. Emma looked confused, and Brody stood and walked to the small stage and sat down. He picked up his guitar and looked at her and closed his eyes. “This is for my wife,” he said quietly, and the room went silent. “It’s called Chasing Happiness, Em for you.” Soft Caramel hair still fans across my chest, The scent intoxicating as the warmth of your breath. You wrapped around me and me wrapped in you A lifetime like this made my heart full and true When I sit alone it’s your smile your heart your love I miss, A deep desire, the taste of your kiss. I close my eyes, and I feel you beneath me holding me high you never deceive me. Wrapped in my arms, my heart feels full. Wrapped is my heart, loves light never dull Wrapped in silk, as your body should be always, Wrap you in silk from head to toe, Wrap you in my love topped with soft silky bows. More precious to me your smile becomes each day, The roads once traveled are now far away, the wounds unaware your love has healed, My need for you I have never known the confusion it caused not even real. Years of pain my heart hid in fear, Weeks of a need unfamiliar brought down to tears. I tried to let go, willed myself to run Chains were let loose replaced with smooth silk, without you could have never been done I won’t let go I won't let go Forever is not long enough. Forever wrapped in your silk.
Applause broke out, and Brody’s eyes left Emma’s just long enough to smile at the crowd. He set the guitar down and shook hands with the band taking the stage. When he finally made his way to her Emma stood and hugged him, “I love that song.” Brody kissed her gently, “A few words were changed.” “A lot has changed,” Emma smiled as he led her to the back of the lounge and into the dining room. “Not my feelings,” Brody smiled as he pulled the chair out for her to sit. Emma smiled and giggled. “You don’t believe me?” Brody hooked his ankle under her chair and pulled it towards him making her giggle more. “Oh Em, you are laughing at me.” “Oh Brody I’m laughing but never at you,” she smiled and leaned forward and grabbed his hair and kissed him. “Good, I’m not sure you are aware of this, but you have some debts to pay tonight,” Brody looked at her raising his eyebrow. “Oh do I?” Emma laughed. The waiter brought out salads and set them in front of them, “Thank you.” Brody smiled and sat back as he poured them a glass of champagne, “Leave the bottle please.” Emma smiled as the waiter walked away and Brody chuckled. “Three days in bows, that debt has never been paid,” Brody put a folk full of salad in her mouth before she could talk and she smiled and wiped her mouth. “Oh and a week’s worth of anything I want
Em.” Emma swallowed and took a drink, “We only have…” Brody put another bite in her mouth and smiled smugly at himself, “You may want to eat, and you’ll need the energy. We may have only one night Em, but I’m sure I can help you fulfill all those promises tonight.” Emma smiled and sat back, “Listen Music Man, I’m not afraid, not even a little nervous… actually…” The waiter set their dinner in front of them, “We’ll have dessert in our room, have it sent up please,” Brody smiled, and the waiter left them. “A little what Em? Turned on? Wet? Ready for me to fuck your…” Emma stood up and cleared her throat, “Yes…have dinner sent up as well.” Brody looked into her eyes and the glaze of desire bore through her green. He looked down at the silk dress, and her nipples were erect. “As badly as I want you right now Em, I want to eat dinner in public with my wife.” Emma let out a deep breath and smiled as she sat, “Okay.” Brody chuckled and took her hand and kissed it. His hand rested on her lap as they ate. His hand rubbed her thigh under the table lightly, and she closed her eyes. “I’m full Brody, can we please go now?” Emma’s eyes were still glazed and her body alert and filled with desire. “The band sounds wonderful. Will you dance with me Em?” Brody wiped his mouth and stood up pulling her chair out. Brody didn’t wait for an answer, he took her hand and kissed it and led her to the dance floor. He twirled her slowly and brought her body close to his. One hand on the small of her back holding her firmly against him and the other wrapped in hers held between them. Emma rubbed the back of his neck with her fingertips to the soothing rhythm of the blues band playing. She rested her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck lightly. He bent down and kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back up and down keeping the same rhythm. Seductive music filled the air, and they continued to dance through the entire set. When the band took a break Brody smiled down at her, “You ready?” The heat of his voice made her even hotter than she was, “For whatever you have planned.” Brody smiled and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly covering her mouth with his and pulled back resting his forehead against hers, “Let’s get the hell out of here.” “Thank you,” Emma smiled as they walked into the elevator. “Thank you Em,” he pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I love you,” Emma rubbed his cheek. “Always?” he kissed her. “And forever,” Emma purred.
THE BURNING SOULS SERIES
STAINED Book 1
Burning Souls; how it beganMaddox and Harper are a couple who I couldn’t put away. They were introduced in the Wrapped series and many of the supporting characters are from the Love series. This is a standalone series. You obviously get more depth from reading the Love series and Wrapped but it’s not necessary. You can always travel back if you decide you want to learn more about Lucas Links, Tessa and Collin Abraham, or the rest of the Ross family in the Love Series. You can read more about Brody and Emma in the Wrapped series.
DEDICATION To all who have traveled through hell and never gave up. To those who understand a broken soul and love them anyway. To those who have fought and struggled but pushed forward in search of clear waters.
PROLOGUE The room was small, dark, cold, and smelled of urine and feces. He sat in the corner hugging his knees and rocking himself back and forth trying not to cry. He was hungry, weak, and very angry. His punishment had been a result of his anger, the rage burning inside of him. The pig had them and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had been locked in the closet for over a week as a result of trying to stop the pig’s torture. The night sounds ran through his head like a freight train. He covered his ears and rocked faster as he buried his head in his knees. His angry tears scorched the side of his face and the pain in his chest blazed through his soul. “Shhh, shhh, shhh,” he chanted softly hoping his voice would cover the screams of the damned. The innocent screams of the damned. The children he had watched come in and out of the door since he could remember. The children: given, sold, or taken. Maddox jumped as he woke from his nightmare. He was drenched in sweat and his bed was soaked. His body shook violently. He was used to this, the same every time he had the nightmares, for the past six months. He grabbed a shirt and threw it on. His hands were still trembling. He began to breathe, in and out, relaxing deep breaths. The tremors slowed and he stripped his bed.
CHAPTER ONE Maddox Maddox Hines, son of rockstar Brody Hines, sat in the Principal's Office. He waited as he had at least once a week for the past nine months for his father and step mother, Emma, to arrive. Brody would always storm in and argue with the principal or superintendent about whatever situation Maddox had found himself in. Maddox’s outbursts were never unprovoked and Brody and Emma fought with all they had to keep him in school. He only had a month left until he graduated valedictorian at sixteen years old. “What is it today, Maddox?” Brody hugged his son as he walked into the office. “Your son attacked another student, again.” The superintendent Richard White snapped. “Alright then Big Dick was it your boy this time?” Brody chuckled, “You should teach little Dick to keep his mouth shut and hands to himself and then he would not have these problems.” “Alright Brody,” Emma quietly tried to calm the storm she saw brewing in her husband’s eyes. She looked at Maddox. “Maddox, it’s not funny.” “Sorry Mom,” Maddox tried to keep a straight face. “It was a lot different this time, Hines. His attack was unprovoked. He walked into the cafeteria and punched another student in the nose. He is on his way to the hospital, and your son is on his way to jail,” Richard sat back and smiled smugly at Brody. “You better be joking, Dick.” Brody stood up, and Emma grabbed his hand. “No joke. They are here now,” Richard nodded to the door. Brody was shocked when two uniformed police officers walked into the principal's office. Brody stood protectively in front of his son. His jaw was tight, and hands fisted at his side. “Sir, you need to step away.” “I don’t think so,” he sneered. Maddox looked at Emma; his face became rigid as the fear that was initially on it faded. He smirked. Emma dug through her bag frantically searching for her phone and dialed their lawyer, Eli. “Mr. Hines, step away,” the other officer said to him. “What are you charging him with?” Emma’s voice quivered. “Assault.” “Okay we can bring him down; you don’t have to take him. Our lawyer will meet us,” Emma tried to sound strong. “You’re not even going to ask what the fuck happened!” Brody’s booming voice filled the room. “He assaulted a student, who is on his way to the hospital. Not much to question. It’s all on tape,” Richard snapped. “Big Dick sit down and shut the FUCK up! No doubt your little fucking spawn deserved it!” Brody snapped. “Maddox?” Emma was seeking an explanation to what had happened. “I punched him, twice actually. He deserved it, and he is lucky I did not…” “No more Maddox, say no more,” Brody looked at the officers who stood waiting. The officers walked towards Brody, one had his hand on his gun. “Are you kidding me?” Emma stood between Maddox and the officer, “You certainly don’t need a damn gun!” “If you don’t step away…” the officer began.
Brody stepped away from Maddox and took Emma’s hand, pulling her away and allowing the officer’s access to Maddox. “You will be okay right, Maddox?” Brody watched the terror in Maddox’s eyes. “Dad?” Maddox was scared “Can I ride with him?” “No, Mr. Hines.” “Why?” Brody growled. “Forget it, you have one car?” “Yes,” the officer looked confused at the question. “Perfect,” Brody smirked and looked at Emma, “Love, you got Eli meeting us at the station?” Emma nodded her head yes and watched as they started to cuff Maddox. “Is that necessary?” The officers did not respond and continued. “Dad?” “Wait, Maddox, what happened? Why did you hit him?” Brody stood in front of the doorway blocking it completely with his generously proportioned body. “My personal file was on the school webpage.” Maddox voice quivered, “Everything Dad.” “Okay son. Dick you wanna pull that up?” Brody walked towards the desk. The officers waited, and Brody stood next to Richard. “See, nothing,” Richard looked smugly at Brody. “Perfect,” Brody winked at Emma drew his arm back and punched Richard in the face. “Maddox, little Dick, had no chance with a fucking big Dick as a father.” Brody turned and put his hands behind his back. “Cuff me.” “Damn it, Brody!” Emma snapped. “Been awhile since I have been in jail, Em, I miss the food,” Brody laughed as they walked them out the door. Maddox looked at him in shock. “I guess we will be riding together. Hey Dick, sorry about that,” Brody said with false sincerity.
Emma and Eli sat in the interview room two hours after the arrest. Eli was diligently working, messaging his office and the school’s attorney. Brody and Maddox were escorted into the interview room by a guard, all three of them were laughing. “Well hello Love, did you miss me?” Brody winked. Emma looked down and did not reply. “Oh, you're mad at me,” he squatted down before her, took her hands and kissed them. “Eli,” Emma looked away refusing eye contact. “Would you care to tell us what is going on?” “We are waiting for the school’s attorney to drop the charges. My office found the post on a few students’ social media accounts. The link was followed back to the school's web page. This should not take that long.” Eli looked up at Maddox. “Contrary to what your father’s behavior showed you today, your actions are not justifiable, Maddox. It doesn’t matter what they say or do you cannot just hit someone, either one of you!” Brody looked at him glaring, “He had…” “Brody, enough,” Emma snapped. “Oh, so now she speaks,” he smirked. “You were wrong, Brody. Maddox, you are going to have to have consequences for your actions.”
Emma did her best to be the parent since her husband was not. “And Dad, does he get consequences?” Maddox chuckled, “Sorry, Mom, I understand.” “The answer is yes, he will have consequences too.” Emma crossed her arms in front of her chest and scowled at the ground. “Promise?” Brody whispered into her ear causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand at attention and her face to get flushed.
Emma avoided Brody since they returned home. She tucked her daughter from her first marriage, London, into bed. They said prayers which normally ended in London sending hugs, Eskimo kisses and chocolate cake to her father, Troy, in heaven. But tonight it was different. “God please help Maddox learn not to care what others say about him or do to him. We love him more, and that’s all that matters,” London peeked up at Emma who opened her eyes. “London that was nice…” Emma began. “Mom, don’t be mad at him,” London stuck her bottom lip out. “I am not mad at him, I’m just disappointed and sad,” Emma hugged her. “Okay,” London seemed content with Emma's clarification and fell asleep quickly. Emma stood up and saw Brody leaning against the door jamb holding their two year old daughter, Lexington, as she slept in his arms. “I thought maybe you would want to give her a kiss before I put her in bed.” Emma took Lexi and hugged her as she brushed past Brody and walked into her room. “Good night little princess,” Brody leaned over Emma’s shoulder and kissed Lexi’s head. He didn’t move and looked into Emma’s eyes. Emma leaned away when he tried to kiss her. He chuckled quietly and walked out the door.
Emma walked into Maddox’s room he sat at his computer as he did every night. He was looking at the missing children’s web link that was sent to him by Zach Taylor. “It’s time for bed Maddox,” Emma rubbed his head. “Can I please…just ten more minutes, please?” Maddox continued to scroll down looking over the pictures of their faces. There were so many. “Sure Maddox, I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, okay?” “Thanks.” Maddox continued to stare at a picture. Emma moved closer to see what he was fixated on, “Maddox, does she look familiar?” “It’s Zach’s sister. She looks familiar. I am sure it is because I want so badly to give him peace.” Maddox continued to stare. “Okay,” Emma kissed his head, “Do you want me to stay and look with you?” “No, not tonight, I probably don’t deserve…” Maddox stopped, “I am sorry about today.” Emma let out a frustrated breath, “Maddox I am sorry about today too. I just never want to see you in trouble again okay? Dad and I are not always going to be able to fix it. This one is tricky, more so because
your father acted like an ass.” “I was scared. He didn’t want me to go alone,” Maddox looked up at her, “So it’s my fault as well.” “He is the adult, Maddox. It is not your fault.” Maddox tried to hold his face straight, and Emma couldn’t keep hers that way either, “Shh, if we laugh he will hear us.” “Sorry Mom.” “I will be back in fifteen minutes okay?” Emma hugged him and left the room.
Emma sat on the bed and called Lila, “How is that little guy?” “He is amazing, I can't believe Markus is going to be six months old soon, they grow up so fast,” Lila sounded so young and carefree when she talked about her son, and only when she talked about her son. “Some of them anyway,” Emma said sarcastically. “You’re mad at him.” “I am mad at him. Well I should be right? Ugh,” Emma threw herself back on the bed. “So he hit him right in the face?” “Yes he did.” “Did it turn you on?” “Everything Brody does turns me on. It sucks! I should be so mad at him right now. I mean, honestly, what the hell was he thinking? Well, I know what he was thinking, and even that turns me on. He is the easiest man to love and want to slap all within the same second. He …God Lila,” Emma smirked as she sat up, “Oh!” “You okay Emma?” “Uh huh.” “Is he standing there listening?” “Uh huh.” “Have fun with that,” Lila laughed, “Call me in the morning.” Emma hung up the phone and closed her eyes. “Look at me, Em,” his breath hit her hands that were covering her face. He had moved from the doorway to her in the blink of an eye. She shook her head no. “Come on now, Em,” Brody lifted her chin. She looked into his smoldering blue eyes, “You shouldn’t have hit him.” “Nothing else would have gotten me in that police car with him, Em,” Brody didn’t break eye contact, “I did what needed to be done.” “But…” “But nothing, Em, I will take care of him. I would do anything for my family. You, Maddox, London and Lexi. I will never change;” His hands moved down her body slowly, “Your body’s reaction to who I am better not either. So fucking hot, Em.” Brody’s lips and body covered her. She wanted to tell him no, she needed to talk to him, to tell him that this was not okay. She pulled her lips from his and his mouth moved to her neck. Pleasure consumed her body, heat spread lower and lower. “I told him…I told Maddox I would be back in fifteen minutes,” Emma whimpered as his cascade of kisses fell lower and lower, “Oh God, Brody.” “That’s all I need,” he lifted her up swiftly pulling her legs around him. She grabbed his hair, pulled
his mouth to hers, and kissed him deeply, passionately, “For now.”
Brody and Emma walked into Maddox’s room together. Maddox smiled and turned off the computer, “Are you done fighting?” “We were not fighting, Maddox,” Brody smiled and kissed Emma’s hand, “We want what’s best for you. I should not have hit Big Dick, you should not have hit, little… “Brody,” Emma raised her eyebrow in warning. Maddox tried hiding his smile. “We need to find a way to deal with anger. Both of us,” Brody looked at Emma, “I will work it out tomorrow. We love you, get some sleep.”
They sat in the district office at the high school waiting for the hearing to begin. Eli had two assistants and a thick folder in front of him. Richard walked in with a piece of tape over his nose, and so did his son. Brody’s jaw clenched and Emma kicked him hard under the table. He bit his cheek trying his damnedest not to laugh out loud. Emma looked at Maddox, and he was doing the same. Are you freaking kidding me? S he thought. The meeting began, and the school’s attorney attempted to take control. He stood and lectured Maddox and Brody on what was and was not acceptable in the school district. He lectured them on the law, and finally a lesson on basic manners. He informed them that nothing had been found on the school's website and that these types of false accusations would not be tolerated. “After an in-house investigation, we have decided to suspend Maddox for the rest of the school year. We will allow you to return next fall and finish your senior year as long as Maddox works with a therapist on his anger issues. I also think you may want to consult a doctor about the possibility of anxiety medication. This is absolutely the best we can do, and honestly I think that’s more than fair,” he sat down. Brody’s face was almost purple, and Emma squeezed his hand as he began to speak, “Un- fuc...” Eli quickly interrupted, “This investigation, were students interviewed?” “It was not necessary; there was nothing on the website. It was a false…” the attorney began. Eli stood up, and the school’s attorney stopped talking. Eli’s assistant, walked around the table handing out reports. “We had a forensic computer investigator look into these allegations. We found that they were in fact truths not lies. Open to page two and you’ll see Maddox Hines private file was in fact pulled up and posted on the school’s main web page. It was then deleted two hours later. But there was time for it to be posted on several Student’s social media pages. Open to pages three through twelve. They were deleted also. The password used to enter the school’s site is on page thirteen. I am sure we know who it belongs to. So here is what we are going to do, Maddox will be back in school tomorrow, he will be treated well. He will in fact graduate in May and you will drop all charges.” “He broke my son’s nose and then his father…” Richard senior began. “Shut up, Dick,” Brody growled, “My son is a minor, he has been through hell, and he comes to this
fucking place only to be tormented by a couple of dicks!” “I did nothing!” Richard senior snapped, “I will not drop charges!” “Well I think you will once you and I have spoken, come with me,” Eli walked to the door, “Or we can do this here?” They left the room for a few minutes and returned. “You ready?” Eli smiled at the Hines crew. “We will see you in the morning, Dick.”
Brody and Emma sat with Maddox at the table after the girls were in bed. “We want to give you the option of whether or not to return. You should look at this report so that you know what you may be up against. If you don’t feel that you can handle what kids may say to you, we want you to be honest with us, and we will hire a tutor,” Brody pushed the file across the table to Maddox. Maddox opened the file and began to read. The first part was all typical academic information. His test scores, grades, schedule and behavior report. Maddox had been in thirty physical altercations over the past thirty-six weeks he had attended school. The next page was notes written by the school psychologist. In his notes there were several different diagnosis for Maddox. Maddox chuckled, “Stockholm syndrome? I didn’t leave or try to because I feared for the safety of others. Not because I had any delusional need to stay with the pigs. Bipolar, not me either. Besides by definition, it sounds a lot like most teenagers going through hormone changes, no offense Mom, but girls are crazy emotional. Separation anxiety, the closest I had come to those feelings were when I was being cuffed and when Dad went to England to confront Uncle Bo. Oh and attachment disorder, attached to FUCKING WHAT?” “He has had enough, Brody,” Emma began to shake. “Fuck that I am just getting started,” Maddox grabbed the paper and continued to read, “Emotionally disturbed, that’s a fucking joke. Who the fuck isn’t emotionally disturbed? What a bunch of shit!” “Brody please,” Emma whispered choking back tears as Maddox sprung to his feet and paced the floor. “I was raised by a bunch of scum for fifteen and a half fucking years. I was beat and shoved in a fucking closet. Some piece of shit shoved fingers up my ass! I was starved and abused for all but the past eleven months of my life. So I hit a few douche bags who don’t know what the fucking word NO means, oh well the piece of shit deserved it. They are lucky to be breathing!” Maddox sat back down and opened the next page, “Sexual deviant, well no shit? But the funny thing is I’m a virgin by choice! I had ample opportunity to fuck any number of girls, even women, but I pushed them off me. Waking up to getting sucked off and saying no because it’s fucking dirty and I am a sexual deviant? Un. Fucking. Believable! Oh and a cutter, well no other mother fucker got cut I would say I am pretty well fucking adjusted considering. Fuck!” Maddox stood again and paced. “Maddox, I am so sorry,” Emma stood to hug him. “Not now, please. Not now,” Maddox walked out the door and paced back and forth in the lawn cursing. “Brody, do something he is hurting!” Emma began to sob. “He is finally breaking down, Em.” Brody hugged her. Maddox came storming in the door and froze when he saw Emma crying, “I am sorry it’s just…damn it. I know all that shit I lived in was wrong, I chose different. I chose! I had no one to be accountable to and I chose! This psychobabble bullshit is a fucking excuse for shit behavior. Shrinks preach it giving
every damaged person an excuse for their shitbag decisions. I mean honest to God, it didn’t feel good to be abused. It felt good to read to the kids and let them escape the hell even if just for a fucking minute! It felt good to smile at them and make them forget all of that shit. But you give someone like me who…oh my God.” Maddox stopped and scrunched his eyes together. “What is it son?” Brody asked softly. “Fucking Elizabeth. I knew it wasn’t okay to be beat because of fucking Elizabeth,” Maddox’s body trembled slightly, and he looked at Brody. “She taught me that.” “She did,” Brody swallowed hard. “So why the fuck…damn it!” Maddox squatted down again and shook violently. “Some people don’t know any better Maddox. Some people think its normal behavior. Until someone shows them or tells them differently,” Emma knelt down in front of them. “Elizabeth, your mother and my sister, knew that. She was kidnapped at five years old. She knew the basic rights and wrongs.” “Why didn’t she get help? She drove to visit me and pay the pigs. She could have escaped!” Maddox stopped and looked up at Emma seeking answers. “I assume she was terrified, Maddox. She had a pretty perfect first five years of life. They could have told her anything. It is even possible that they told her my parents sold her. We really don’t know. What we do know is she loved you the best she could in the situation she was in. And we know she died trying to save you, she so loved you, Maddox,” Emma hugged him. “You chose because you were taught. Psychology isn’t bullshit. People however, can use whatever excuse they can get their hands on for poor behavior. You chose not to, that’s what a psychologist’s job is. They give the seeker an answer to why. It is then in their hands to decide if they change it or not. Unfortunately, most don’t. You Maddox, are so strong and smart, you chose right, and we are so proud of you.” “Mommy?” London cried walking in the room, “Maddox don’t be sad. It’s all better now right?” London hugged him tightly. “Yes London, I will be fine,” Maddox returned her hug.
Brody sat on Maddox’s bed waiting for him to finish showering and trying to figure out what to say to him. Emma walked in and hugged him pulling his head into her embrace. “Thanks Love, I needed that,” he smiled gently and rubbed the side of his head against her chest as she held him and kissed the top of his head. “It will be okay,” Emma said softly. Maddox scowled and looked down as he entered his room and saw them. “You okay?” “Wonderful,” Maddox said as he walked in his closet and changed into his pajamas. “I will leave you two alone.” “So let's talk,” Brody patted the bed. “I feel like I have done enough of that tonight,” Maddox flipped on the computer and sat to look at the missing children’s database. “Maddox, maybe you need to stop doing this every night. It has to hurt like hell,” Brody stood next to him. “Most things do,” Maddox said expressionless as he scrolled through the page slowly. “Okay I get it,” Brody began. “No Dad, I don’t think you do. I watch you and her wrapped around each other all the time. Then I
watch kids at school groping each other. Then I look at these pictures and think of what they have…what we have endured because of dirty desires,” Maddox sneered. “Maddox it’s different, so different. It’s not dirty desires with Emma, it’s love. Wow Maddox, I think we need to have the sex talk,” Brody chuckled nervously. “No, I don’t think we do,” Maddox’s face turned red. “Maddox, you kissed Harper correct?” Brody asked. Maddox looked up at him and scowled, “Did that feel dirty?” “YES,” Maddox snapped, “No…I don’t know.” Brody pulled a chair up beside him, “Give me your attention for ten minutes Maddox, and then you can go through this again.” Maddox sat back and looked at him. “Between two consenting adults, two people who are both willing, sex is a beautiful thing. It’s not supposed to be impressed upon someone. Two people who make a commitment to care for each other, mind, body, and soul take pleasure in adoring each other’s…” “Okay, okay,” Maddox covered his ears as his face turned beet red. Brody smiled, “It bothered you that Emma and I were hugging?” “It bothered me that your head was squished into her tits on my bed in front of me,” Maddox said in disgust. “Emma knew I was struggling tonight. She hugged me, and I rested my head against her heart. Taking comfort in her act of love,” Brody explained, “Her heart just happens to be beneath her tits.” Maddox tried not to laugh, “I get it, fine, I get it.” “Maddox even before Emma, sex was enjoyable. Maybe not while being held captive and beat; you know what that’s not true. Your body responds to touch. It feels good to be touched. I was disgusted with myself when I saw the tapes. I should not have…it feels good to be touched, our bodies are built to enjoy the pleasure. In that way sometimes, our bodies defy our minds, and that can cause confusion. You spoke about girls coming into your room who eventually began touching you. Did you enjoy that?” “NO! How could I?” Maddox snapped “Okay but they craved you. They wanted to take comfort in you. They didn’t know any better. Their bodies betrayed them. Your mind tells you it’s dirty and that’s okay. They knew that they can receive enjoyment from that act. They didn’t know any better. Those girls, I pray to God have received counseling, Maddox because they may think that they were immoral because it was pleasurable at times. I almost guarantee that’s what Elizabeth thought. So you are on the complete opposite side of the spectrum.” “I heard them cry, Dad,” Maddox’s voice was barely a whisper, “In fear and in pain. I know what each sounds like. The cry of fear is a quivering in the throat, a low rumbling sound mixed with soft pleas. Pain is that times a million except it’s not quiet it’s loud and filled with horror. It’s still the quiver but the rumble is gone, and it’s like a fucking bomb is exploding in your ears and in your heart. It brings you to your knees in desperation, and you cover your ears hoping it stops for them and then selfishly you hope it stops for you,” Maddox’s eyes were closed tight as he slowly rocked himself back and forth, “The longer those cries went on the worse they sounded the longer they lasted. When the pain and horror sounds left, the cries of disgust or self-loathing began. They didn’t last that long. Then I would hear the pig shut the door and walk into the bathroom.” Brody was horrified, but made himself let Maddox talk. Maddox needed to get this shit out, he told himself. “One of the older girls used to go in the room when called. She didn’t cry out in fear or pain. She made low little moaning sounds. The pig didn’t stay in there long at all,” Maddox wiped his eyes and looked up at Brody, “I asked her if she was okay once and she scowled at me. The next time I asked her she looked at me in disgust. I avoided her at all costs. One night, the night Lucy was brought to the house,
the pig was taking one of them in the room. Fucking dragging this girl by her hair. I saw the horror in that girl’s eyes, and I snapped. I ran at him and punched him until he let go of the girl’s hair and he grabbed his belt and beat me with it. He shoved me in the closet and locked me in. I was wild; I beat the door and screamed. I have no idea how the neighbors heard none of this! Lucy started screaming and then she stopped. I was so afraid he was hurting her. The older girl hit the door and hissed SHUT THE FUCK UP. I heard her trying to comfort Lucy she just kept repeating Shh Shh Shh over and over again, until Lucy stopped crying. Then I heard her telling Lucy that “If he takes you in there, don’t you cry. He likes that, and it hurts longer, don’t you cry, Lucy,” Maddox covered his ears and again closed his eyes, he brought is knees to his chest and continued “Shh, shhh, shhh. She said it over and over again. I don’t know how long I was in there but when I came out I was filthy. She opened the door when I was showering and put a towel on the sink and walked out. She came to my room that night; I had not eaten in days. She brought me bread and apples. We heard Lucy…I tried to open the door, but it was locked. She covered my mouth when I tried to scream and …Shh Shhh Shh…. I threw up everything I ate, and she fucking cleaned it up. She told me he was drunk, and he would pass out. After the pig unlocked the door she snuck out while he was in the bathroom. She got Lucy cleaned up and brought her into my room after he passed out. We all laid in my bed, and I read to them, the Velveteen Rabbit, why do I remember that?” he finally looked up at Brody. “Does she have a name?” Brody asked quietly. “She called herself Jane…Jane Doe. I found out she was sold by her family to the pig. She was not a virgin when she came. She put herself…God Dad, she was…I need to find her. She was a beautiful soul even though she did not think so. What she did…she vied for his attention. She said she liked it, she was the first one that came to me, and I told her no. She kept many nights quiet. But it made me just as sick. I need to find her,” Maddox stood up and walked to the computer. “Maddox it’s late. You have had a rough night,” Brody tried to stop him. “NO! I NEED TO FUCKING FIND HER!” Maddox yelled. “Maddox, you need to breathe and calm down,” Brody didn’t move out of his way. Maddox’s face was red and veins bulged in his neck. He did not get into bed he stared at Brody challenging him: angry and emotionally destroyed. “Maddox, it’s time for bed.” Maddox’s breaths began to hasten and sweat glistened on his brow. He clenched his jaw and his fists. “You pissed Maddox?” Brody crossed his arms over his chest taking a non-defensive stance. “I want to break something,” he growled. “I know the feeling,” Brody walked around him and pulled the covers down, “Get in bed, I will grab the IPad we will look together for ten minutes, then its lights out. You and I are getting up early in the morning and run. Tomorrow after school we hit the gym-- you and I are going to work out. Release some of this anger.”
Brody left the room and walked into his bedroom, and Emma sat on the bed and quickly wiped her tears, “Come here Em, what all did you hear?” “Everything, Brody,” Emma sobbed quietly into his shirt, “God, what more is he hiding?” Brody hugged her and kissed her head, “I hope he will trust us enough to tell us eventually.” “You better go,” Emma wiped her face on his shirt, “Oh sorry.” He smiled, “That alright, love. Will you be alright?” he wiped her tears and kissed her on the nose she
nodded her head yes, “Get some sleep?” “Yes, go take care of him.” Emma hugged him tight and stepped away. “He needs you more than I do right now, go.” Brody ran his hands through his hair and scrunched his eyes together, “Alright.”
Maddox read the text message he received from Harper. - Thinking about you, I hope ur alright…HA Maddox didn’t reply - Maddox tell me you are okay, I saw the post…HA - I am fine leave it alone Harper…MH - I am sorry you are going through this again…HA - What part of leave it alone do you not fucking get Harper, goodnight…MH He threw his phone on the floor and laid down.
Maddox and Brody ran every morning before anyone else was out of bed and they hit the gym after school. Maddox always ended his time at a punching bag. Brody stood and watched him before walking to the front desk, “Do you offer private boxing lessons?” “Yes, we do, Mr. Hines. Would you like me to set that up for you?” the receptionist was nervous and fumbling trying to find the information for them behind the desk. “A phone number would be greatly appreciated. By the way I am just a normal guy like everyone else in here,” Brody smiled. “Thanks, it’s just…do you know who you are?” she laughed. “I do.” She handed him the paper with a name and number on it, “He is the best. He has not been taking on new clients, but I think he would make an exception.”
CHAPTER TWO Harper Harper had few friends that truly knew her. She and her family had traveled since she could remember to faraway places helping to build communities in areas all over the world. Not just the typical construction of buildings, but village communities in impoverished areas. Her father Collin would send in teams that would secure the areas near cities run by drug lords and guerrilla armies. To places that women and children were brutalized every day by boys and men who knew no different in their way of life. When it was secured, the team would bring in some of those men and boys to help build up the complexes. Turning it into a safe place to walk outside their homes. Places they could receive medical attention. They learned to grow their own food, take care of their bodies, be taught to read and write. Little things that we all take for granted every day. Harper’s mother, Tessa, was a nurse practitioner. Tessa was in charge of the medical clinics ensuring that they were supplied and manned. She typically hand-picked three younger women to teach them all she knew. Wound care, immunizations, delivering children, amongst other medically necessary tasks. She also taught them how to take care of their homes, children, bodies and minds. It was truly a family business. Harper’s only living grandparents, John and Maggie, spent time with them. Maggie was also a nurse and John a farmer. They helped out everywhere. So did her aunts and uncles, cousins and some close family friends. These people did not spend nearly as much time as Harper’s immediate family did when they came to help, but when they did come; Harper enjoyed watching them give of themselves selflessly. When they left a community, they left it in the able hands of locals who could now feel safe walking out of their doors in the evening. They could watch their children play in the streets with other children. They could go to bed without worry that they would be woken up by rifle blasts or men stealing or raping their children. They were left to live and breathe with new skills and abilities giving them the capability to help others in the same way they were helped. Harper had met so many people. She even kept in contact with at least one or two from each village through hand written letters and the occasional trips they took to visit and help out when they could. Harper and her twin brothers, CJ and Matthew, lived a normal life. They attended school and played sports. Her brothers, we’re attending college now. Matthew was at Harvard studying international law. CJ was following in his parents footsteps. He was going to school for medicine. His desire was to become a holistic doctor. Her family owned a private plane, so there was no issues taking off for a four day weekend during the school year and helping out wherever they needed to. Tomas, their one man security team, was never far away. Harper’s father had been raised in a living hell by a woman who was a monster. Katherine Abraham had traded her children for drugs right here in the United States. She was abusive and neglectful on her sober days. Collin did not know his father, he was pretty sure Katherine didn’t even know which of the many men in and out of his childhood home was his father. She is believed to have killed Collin’s sister and brother. Before Harper’s parents first date, Katherine escaped from a rehab after her prison sentence was up, and had plans in place to kill Collin and Tessa. Harper’s parents had a strong marriage. Their love was true and unending. He adored her, and she adored him. Collin was very intense about everything, and Tessa was a feisty woman. He was decisive; most things were black and white to him. He admittedly knew nothing of love until he met her. They were
married quickly and had the twins before their first anniversary and Harper less than a year after that were born. They were a true team and loved their life’s work and the opportunities it gave their children to see how truly blessed they were. At home and in school it was difficult for Harper to watch her friends driving cars their parents bought for them, wearing shoes that cost more than it would take to feed an entire village, and act like they truly deserved everything they had. Harper’s home was magnificent-- her bedroom fit for a princess, her wardrobe impeccable, and she had everything she could ever want and then more. She was grateful for everything she had. Her father had talked her through a breakdown when she was old enough to realize just how privileged she was. Her Dad told her that hard work pays off and that they are taking nothing away from anyone. She wanted to know how they made money, and that’s when she found out that he also wrote papers and had a research and development team who worked on finding cures and developing drugs to help cancer patients. The money they could have easily used to pay themselves with from grants and funding they received from outside sources always went back into the communities they built. In fact, some of their family money also was used. That was also when her mother found out that the weekly pay she received was actually from Collin because he wanted her to feel like she had some control over finances. Tessa was livid, and that was the first time Harper ever heard her swear, “So you give me a fucking allowance?” Tessa stomped. “Well no…I guess…Tessa our money is ours does it really matter?” Collin pleaded. “Yes, it matters you ass! You lied to me!” Tessa stormed away, and they did not speak for three days. That was also the first time Harper ever saw her father look anything less than in control and confident. She was mad at her mother for hurting his feelings. She walked down for a drink of water on that third night. Tessa was sitting on the counter, and Collin was peering up at her with his head hung low. “I’m truly sorry, Tessa.” “Good,” Tessa’s voice broke. “I never wanted you to feel trapped or like you had to depend on me. I wanted you to feel of value in all that you do for everyone,” Collin scowled at the ground. “What the hell makes you think I don’t?” Tessa snapped and tried to jump of the counter. Collin stood in front of her with his hands firmly planted on the counter trapping her without touching her, “Your last relationship, Tessa! You hated that he made you feel like what you worked for did not matter! I won’t have you feel like that EVER!” Tessa scooted back against the cupboard, “Well you are an ass! Seriously Collin, that was years ago. Get over it already!” Tessa tried to push past him, and he did not budge, “No I won’t. Don’t ask me to. You taught me I could love and be loved. I will spend every day of my life trying to make you as happy as you have me.” “Still? You still feel that way you…ASS! For someone so damn smart you actually are an idiot, now get out of my way,” Collin stepped back and held his hand to his heart and looked wounded as Tessa ran past him. Harper felt tears burning her eyes and wanted to scream until she saw her mother walk back to him crying, “What do I need to do, Collin, to make you realize I love you just as much? That your happiness is as important to me, as mine is to you? I am so angry with you right now. I want to leave. You just crushed me.” Collin reached for her, and she pulled back, “Don’t. I am going to sleep in Harper’s room tonight. What have the past twenty years been to you, Collin? I will wait for an answer. I don’t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear I want to know why. What have I done for you to even doubt? …goodnight.” Collin grabbed her, “It was years ago Tessa, it’s how I felt years ago. I wanted and still want you to know every fucking day how much I value you, how much I value us, how much I love you!”
Tessa wrapped her arms around him and cried, and he held her, “Don’t cry beautiful I can’t take it. It’ll tear me apart.” They held each other and Harper couldn’t turn away. What she was seeing was something rare, something beautiful. Not that she didn’t know they were different from her friend’s parents, they were. In everyday interactions, she saw them search for each other in a room full of people and smile at each other. When they were working they each took time to give each other a quick hug or sweet kiss on the cheek. When either was frustrated, the other anticipated their need and filled it without even a second thought. They didn’t fight or even really discuss much except their children. They just knew what the other wanted or needed. The looks they gave each other replaced a thousand words. Something rare indeed, Harper thought as she watched them hidden against the darkened hall wall. Collin relaxed, “Come to bed?” Tessa nodded her head yes.
Harper lay in bed waiting for Maddox to say he was sorry, she knew he wanted to. He could not possibly want her to feel bad. He was different, like her dad. Her dad would never want her mom to feel bad. She waited ten more minutes and still nothing. She re-read his last text. What part of leave it alone do you not fucking get Harper, goodnight…MH Her eyes burned, and she swallowed hard and she began responding The part where it’s okay for you to be nasty to me when I am just showing concern. The part that crushed my heart because I know I could love you and that you could love me… that part asshole! She looked at it, pushed the send button, and threw her phone on the floor then turned off her light and tried to fall asleep. She tossed and turned, all she could think was this was the worst day ever. She replayed the scene at lunch in her head. “Harper we need to talk,” Ava was nervous, and she did not know why. “Okay.” “Can we go somewhere, maybe the locker room?” They walked into the locker room and sat down. “Ava, you look so upset what is going on?” Harper was concerned. Ava Links was the one girl in the school who knew almost everything about her. Back at home, Ava was indeed Harper’s closest friend. “It’s about Senior Prom,” Ava sat next to her. Her jet black long hair covered her blue eyes when she looked down. “Okay, its next week right?” Harper joked, “Unless they changed it.” “Harper don’t be mad at me, but I like…really like Carter. He and I have been talking, and he and I want to know if it’s okay for us to go together?” Ava closed her eyes tightly and waited for Harper to respond. “Oh…okay,” Harper said softly. “No, you are mad forget it,” Ava began. “I am not mad that you like each other it’s just…what about your date, who will he go with?” Harper didn’t want it to be an issue, but it was, it truly was. One week before prom and she was going to be dateless which normally would mean nothing to her but a week before PROM, WHAT THE HELL, she screamed in her head. “We thought maybe he could go with you?” Ava said nervously. “No way. Ava you and Carter go ahead, but I will not be going with Joe,” Harper stood up.
“Well why not?” Ava was annoyed. How the hell can you be annoyed at me? Harper shouted in her head but instead she took the highroad. She always took the damn highroad, “He is my second or third cousin Ava, no thanks.” “Well, so Carter and you were just friends what’s the difference?” Ava pushed forward, always pushing things to the limit. “Ava, it was different…is different. I am not mad, but I will absolutely not have a relative as a prom date,” Harper laughed it off. “Was different? Why because you kissed him? He said it was like kissing his sister, he said you agreed that it was a mistake. Do you like him?” Ava was irritated. “He said WHAT?” Harper snapped, “He kissed me, I turned my head avoiding it. Like his sister, shit it was like kissing a damn frog!” “Like kissing a frog? Really he is hot Harper, you like him that’s why you are getting pissed,” Ava snapped back. “No, actually I don’t. I liked the idea of having a date to the prom!” Harper laughed loudly. “I know you’re pissed, the whole girl code thing, he figured you would be,” Ava scowled at Harper. “Girl code thing? What a joke, -- I don’t own him, and he doesn’t own me. What a freaking idiotic thing. Girl code, seriously? Ava get over it,” Harper walked out the door.
When she got home from school she sat in her car and banged her head on the steering wheel. She was still trying to figure out how to tell her parents that they wasted a ton of money, enough to feed a village for at least three days, on a stupid dance she would not be attending. Her phone rang, and it was Carter. Great, she thought as she answered it, “Hello.” “Are you mad?” Carter asked. “Yes, but not about what you think I may be mad about,” Harper opened the door and grabbed her bag. “I am sorry, but you really should take Joe, he’s a good guy. Ava is having a hard time trying to figure out how to tell him,” Carter said quietly, “And hey, if he could go with you, I bet he would be happy as hell.” “Carter I owe you nothing, so don’t try to sweet talk me! You told Ava I kissed you, and it was like kissing your sister. Seriously, what is wrong with you? If you remember correctly, you tried to kiss me and I turned away so you managed to kiss my cheek, and it freaked me the hell out. And then, ‘Oh Harper you skin tastes like heaven I want your lips. Please Harper… I will die if I don’t taste your lips.’ And it went on and on and on,” Harper was aware of her obnoxiousness and more than aware it was because she was pissed that she had to tell her parents. “Listen you spoiled little princess. I tried to kiss you, and would have said whatever it took to get what I wanted. I thought you were a nice girl not some snobby little bitch. Did you tell Ava that?” Carter snapped. “I told her it wasn’t like kissing a sibling more like a frog! Not about you being a hormone fueled raging lunatic. Or about your hard-on pressing on my stomach as I tried my damnedest to pull away from you!” Harper snapped. “So you liked my dick against you, huh? Pretty unforgettable was it?” Carter chuckled. “Something that size should not be called a dick. Maybe a prick but not a dick, goodbye freak,” Harper pushed end and turned around smugly to walk into the house. She walked in the door, and her parents were standing by the window. Collin was ready to explode,
and Tessa was trying not to laugh. “Good day at school, Harper?” Tessa asked. “Where does that little bastard live?” Collin yelled. Harper froze and looked at the ground. “Answer me, damn it, Harper! Or I will get Tomas on it!” Collin insisted. “Collin she did just fine on her own, let it be,” Tessa tried not to laugh. “He…his…damn it!” Collin yelled into the air. “Collin go take a walk, calm down, and then come back okay?” Tessa grabbed his face, “She did very well. I am proud of her, and once you process it, you will be too.” Collin stormed outside and Tessa took Harper’s hand and lead her to the couch. Harper sat, while Tessa went and grabbed a couple glasses of milk and some cookies. “Tell me how you are,” Tessa said dunking a cookie in milk and brought it to Harper’s mouth. “Mom, seriously?” Harper rolled her eyes. “Yep, seriously Harper Ann. You are my little girl, and you have had a pretty rough day. If I want to feed you cookies, you better let me.” Harper took a bite, and her lip began to quiver, “I don’t have a date to the prom.” “Okay, but it sounds like you did not like your date very much anyway,” Tessa dunked the cookie again, and Harper took a bite. When Harper finished chewing she started to cry, “You both heard me?” “Yep.” Tessa smiled and rubbed Harper’s head. “Am I in trouble?” Harper’s voice broke. “No, Harper,” Tessa pulled Harper in to her arms and held her as she cried. “Ask Maddox Hines.” Tessa smiled and watched Harper’s face change.
Harper was asleep on Tessa’s lap when Collin walked in. Tessa smiled, “Did you go swimming or running?” “She okay?” Collin grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it. Tessa nodded her head yes, “She doesn’t have a prom date.” “Good.” Collin clenched his jaw and walked away. He was in the shower when Tessa walked into the bathroom and got in the shower with him, “She did not like him, Collin, but she is upset. It’s her prom.” “You do know you have clothes on?” Collin said trying to remain angry. “I do,” Tessa smiled, “This was something normal for her to do. Every girl dreams of prom.” “Fine I will lighten up if you let me take those clothes off of you’ll probably be even more relaxed. And by the way, the prom means nothing to guys. But this, a hot chick in the shower,” he began undressing her, “Naked, is every man’s fantasy.” “I could care less about every man, Collin, just you,” Tessa smiled as she leaned against the shower wall. He went down on his knees, and he lifted her leg over his shoulder and smiled up at her and growled.
Harper still lay awake. She grabbed her phone off the floor to see if he had returned her text and he had not. How could she ask him to go to prom with her after that? Screw him! No, he has already been screwed. She could not believe someone had posted his personal file online. God she wanted to know he was okay, but he made it clear - What part of leave it alone do you not fucking get Harper, goodnight…MH Harper cried herself to sleep.
Harper sat in the library at lunch. Ava was still mad at her after a week, and she wanted to just disappear. Ava being mad was not a big deal. Maddox hurting her feelings--well that crushed her. She grabbed her phone to torture herself once again and read his text. She turned it on, and she had three missed messages. Her mom and dad had both sent her a message wishing her a better day and Maddox. A message from Maddox sent only minutes ago. - I have reconsidered….MH - What have you reconsidered?... HA She waited anxiously for his reply. - Apparently you asked me to Prom next week, and I said no. I have reconsidered…MH - I don’t know what you are talking about…HA Her heart beat faster as she waited. - Emma told me that Tessa told her you asked me to prom and I said I was busy, I am available if you still want me to go…MH - Well I did not ask you…HA - Listen, I was in a bad place the last time we texted. Apparently you had a rough day as well. I have a fight scheduled, I am canceling it. So what do you say…MH - What fight?...HA - Boxing. A week in and I am a natural. It’s good for me. First fight tonight wish me luck?...MH - Do your parents know?...HA - Yes Harper…MH
She could tell he rolled his eyes when he wrote that, and it made her smile. - Good Luck…HA - Thank you, so I will see you next week?...MH - For what?...HA He did not reply right away, and she started to get nervous. - Harper Ann Abraham, may I escort you to Senior Prom?…MH - Maddox...I will have to think about it…HA - WHAT?!?!?!...MH - Sorry have to go to class. I hope you have a great day XOXOXO…HA - Oh I get it, you are going to make me work…MH Harper smiled, Hell Yes, she thought as she walked out of the library and floated around, beaming the rest of the day.
Harper walked into the house and smiled at Tessa and Collin, and she ran up the stairs and changed. “Going for a run,” she smiled as she ran past them. She took out her phone and sent him a message. - KICK BUTT TODAY MADDOX! Be safe please…HA - Thank you, I will try to keep my face free from bruises…MH’ - You better…HA - Why are you accepting my request to escort you to prom?…MH - We will see…still thinking it over…send me a picture after your fight. I want to make sure any date I may or may not accept is presentable…HA - Will do…MH Harper showered and ate dinner and she watched her phone all night. She went to bed worried that he had been hurt. She closed her book and reached for her phone. A text popped up, and it was him. Holy cow! Harper stared at the picture of Maddox covered in sweat. His arms lifted in the air, and his smile was amazing. His hair was shorter, and his body had definitely changed. He wasn’t just lean muscles anymore- he had a six pack, and pecks, and oh my, my, my, the V. His arms were bulky and his jaw appeared even squarer than she remembered. The lips, she thought as she ran her fingers gently across hers remembering how they felt. That dimple damn, damn, damn. - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!…HA Her phone rang, and she answered. “So, Harper, I have had a great night. I won my first fight,” Maddox had a smile in his voice.
“Congratulations,” her voice was a whisper. “Make it even better, say yes you want me to take you to prom,” Maddox voice was unchanged, still a smile. “Do you still have those shorts on?” Harper asked. Maddox laughed, “Still at the gym, so yes.” “Good send me a video of you asking me to prom and then call me and ask me again,” Harper said softly. “What?” Maddox laughed. “You heard me,” Harper said and hung up. She started to get nervous that he was annoyed, and the video came. He had a white robe on, and a hood over his head, “Harper may I please take you to prom?” Harper texted him back. - Loose the robe and try again…HA - Seriously?!?!...MH - Please…HA - Why?...MH - You are beautiful…HA “And I sent it what the hell was I thinking sending that?” She got just what she asked for and watched it three times before he called. “Anything else, Harper?” Maddox asked, “No,” she smiled. “Are you telling me no after all that?” Maddox groaned. “No, nothing else. I would be honored to go to prom with you. Thank you, Maddox,” Harper blushed. Even though he could not see her, he could tell. “Harper, do you think I am beautiful?” Maddox whispered. “Well, yes-- I always have,” Harper whispered. “Hmm. I want a picture send me one,” he said softly. “Nope, you can see me on prom night,” Harper laughed, “Ivory Tux.” She hung up and giggled as she looked at the picture and watched the videos over and over again.
CHAPTER THREE Prom Harper looked in the mirror and felt sick to her stomach. She looked great and knew it, but just different. Her hair was beautiful, yet unrecognizable to her. She wore makeup and heels that she knew would be long gone when she danced (if she danced), and she thought to herself: Did Maddox dance…oh God I am going to throw up all over him. She looked away from the mirror. Her dress was a champagne color with a pale blue underlay covering the important parts. Her father was shocked when he saw it. His face turned red, and he scowled at Tessa and she laughed. He looked back at Harper. “You are stunning, Harper Ann, too stunning. Beautiful, too damn beautiful. Look at my baby girl, Tessa,” he squeezed his eyes shut and let out an angry, frustrated breath, scowled at Tessa and walked out of the room. “Is he mad, Mom?” “Not at you, maybe at me,” Tessa smiled, “You look amazing…it’s just hard to see you all grown up.” “It’s hard for me too-- my lord, look at my boobs, Mom! They have gotten huge,” Harper pushed them in trying to make them smaller, and Tessa laughed. “You ready? They are waiting in the family room,” Tessa grinned. “Sure,” Harper whispered. They walked in, and Maddox stood, swallowed hard and looked at the ground. He looked up and his eyes widened. “Wow, Harper you look --wow!” London ran and hugged her, “Your boobs are enormous! Are mine going to get that big?” Harper laughed, “I hope not, for your sake.” Tessa laughed and covered her mouth. Harper looked around, hoping no one else heard London—and it appeared no one had. “You’re sure about not wanting to ride in the limo with your friends?” Collin asked. “No, I think it’ll be fine if Tomas takes us, Dad,” Harper smiled, “Is that all right with you Maddox?” He nodded in agreement, “Yeah that sounds great. You look outstanding, Harper.” “Thanks, Maddox, you’re looking pretty great yourself,” Harper smiled broadly. “Harper, why don't you invite some people back here after the prom? I will cook-- you guys can hang out, listen to music, or swim if you want,” Tessa smiled. “Okay,” Harper smiled back and hugged her, “You ready to go?” “Yeah,” Maddox’s eyes were bright blue. “WAIT pictures!!!” London laughed.
They sat in the back of the black SUV quietly, not a word was said. “You are very quiet, are you sure you…” Harper began. “I want to be here with you, Harper,” Maddox looked down and tried to figure out what to say as he
laughed nervously, “You have certainly changed in the past eight months.” Harper didn’t know how to respond she felt the heat rise from her neck to her face. Oh…. please don’t break out in hives, she pleaded with herself. She began rubbing her neck, oh no, no, no. “You okay?” “No, damn it,” Harper tapped on the security glass and Tomas rolled in down, “Can you pull over for a minute please?” Tomas pulled over and Harper jumped out. She started to walk down the road, calm down calm down, she breathed in and out slowly as she walked. “Harper, what the hell is going on?” Maddox ran up to her and grabbed her hand. “I just need a minute,” She pulled her hand away and he walked in front of her, blocking her from going any further. “Seriously, what is going on Harper?” he lifted her chin up and looked at her. “Am I a mess: my neck, my face…?” “Your chest,” Maddox said and quickly looked up at her eyes, “Did you eat something? Is this an allergic reaction? Do you need to get to a doctor?” Harpers lip quivered, “Its hives, it has not happened in a while but it use to happen when I got nervous. Please just go back, don’t look at me, I promise it will go away soon.” “Why are you nervous?” “Why are you?” Harper scowled at the ground. “You look beautiful, Harper.” “Well, so do you.” “Now that we have that out in the open do you think we can head back to Tomas?” Maddox smiled and took her hand. “Yeah, I don’t want things to be weird tonight, Maddox.” “I think we just got weird out of the way,” he squeezed her hand, “That being said could we talk about any awkward thing that may come up, you know, so you don’t bust out in hives?” “Sure,” she pushed him with her shoulder and laughed. “You really do look beautiful, Harper,” Maddox opened the door for her. “You really need to stop saying that,” Harper giggled as she sat down. “Hives?” “Possibly,” Harper looked into his eyes and smiled, “I forgot how blue your eyes were.” Maddox smiled and grabbed her hand, “So tonight, who am I?” “Who do you want to be?” “I am a bit concerned with people knowing who I am… it may cause issues for you,” Maddox looked at her with sincerity in his beautiful blue eyes “Does anyone know I am coming with you?” “No, I haven’t been all that social lately.” “Why?” Maddox rubbed her hand gently. “Well my date is going with Ava,” Harper laughed. Maddox didn’t respond for a while. “Was he your boyfriend?” Harper could tell he was upset, “No, not at all.” “Good,” Maddox sat back against the leather seat, “So you’re mad at her, why?” “Your ‘best friend,’” Harper used air quotes, “Falls for a guy who just so happens to be your prom date and then being left dateless, kind of sucks, Maddox.” “So you liked him?” Maddox whispered. “No,” Harper laughed, “I liked that he was not related to me, and that he liked me enough to ask me to my prom.”
“Okay.”
Maddox opened the door and held his hand out for Harper. She smiled and took his hand. “This place has an amazing view,” Maddox looked out over Cayuga Lake. “Do you want to walk out back before we head in?” Maddox smiled and nodded his head yes. They walked into the lawn and stood hand in hand, looking over the water. “Harper, I didn’t get you flowers. They’re nice and all, but this is a special occasion in your life, I assume,” Maddox smiled. “Both of ours. Oh, unless you already did prom at your school,” Harper said hoping he had not. “No, I was asked, just didn’t want to go. Harper here,” Maddox handed her a box and she opened it. Inside was a silver bracelet with a palm tree dangling from it, “You didn’t have to, but it’s beautiful.” Harper grabbed his arm and pulled up his sleeve looking at the friendship bracelet she had given him almost a year ago, “It’s still here,” he smiled. “It better be,” Harper laughed. “Should we go in?” “I guess we should.” “You don’t seem excited.” “I am excited you’re here, that stuff means nothing,” Harper’s face turned red. “Don’t start getting embarrassed Harper, you may break out. I thought we were past all that.” Harper looked at his lips and then closed her eyes. She opened them when she heard him chuckle. “You're heating up on me, Harper,” he smiled and squeezed her hand. “Great,” she rolled her eyes. “I am going to give you something else okay?” he smiled shyly, “Something I think will get us both through this extremely awkward moment.” She looked up into his blue eyes and then at his lips. He licked his lips quickly and let out a slow, sweet, minty breath. He took her face in his hands and leaned in towards her slowly… cautiously, “This okay, Harper? I haven’t kissed you since…” Harper stood in her tip toes and kissed him quickly. His eyes stayed fixed on her lips. “I want more,” he said softly. “Me too,” Harper wrapped her arms around his waist beneath his jacket and pulled him into her. He kissed her softly and rubbed his nose against hers. He tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers again and again. She felt him tense up -- his muscles felt hard under her hands. He had definitely been working out. He reached around her and took both of her hands in his and stepped back, leaving his forehead against hers. They both opened their eyes and smiled. “Abraham—get your ass up here!” she heard a familiar male voice yell from behind them. “Busted,” she smiled as he straightened up, “No big deal, it’s my cousin. You met him, one of Alex’s sons.” “Is he going to try to kick my ass?” Maddox smiled. “He will have to get through me first,” Harper giggled, took one of his hands and walked towards the Watch. “Liam, this is my date, Maddox,” Harper smiled as she introduced them.
“Shit, you don’t even look the same,” Liam was tall and blonde and looked just like his father did as a senior in high school. “Good, maybe no one here will recognize me,” Maddox smiled, and they shook hands. “We could call you…” Liam tried to think of a name. “Yeah that’ll work-- have you heard him speak?” Harper laughed and smiled up at Maddox. “I bet if I put forth some effort I could pull it off,” Maddox smiled back at her. “Whatever floats your boat,” Harper giggled and kissed his cheek. He looked at her and then Liam, and his face turned red, “You’re heating up on me, Maddox,” Harper laughed. “Guys don’t like PDA, Harper,” Liam laughed, “Isn’t that right, Johnny?” “Johnny?” Harper laughed. “Sure, why not? Right?” Liam looked at Maddox. “Sure, I reckon I can pull that off,” Maddox chuckled using a southern accent. “What was that?” Harper laughed. “John Wayne,” Maddox smiled. “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” Liam smiled and patted his back, “Let’s just stick with Johnny.” “Good thing it’s a masquerade,” Harper laughed. Tomas met them at the door and handed Harper and Maddox their masks, “If you need anything, I will be out here.” They walked into the Watch. The building resembled a barn. They were given their table assignment at the reception table. Maddox looked around taking in the beauty of the wood and brick walls. Maddox smiled at Harper, and she smiled back at him, “Shall we?” he took her hand and began walking in the direction of the other attendees. They walked through the large archway into the room. It was decorated in gold and red. The ceiling was lit up with thousands of twinkling white lights and gold fabric hung from beam to beam. There was a second floor that opened overlooking the dance floor. The support beams that ran from floor to ceiling were wrapped in the same gold fabric. The round tables were covered with black linen and topping off the black linen, were deep red square table covers. Harper looked for table seven and worried it would be as awkward for her as it would be for Maddox. How the hell am I going to get him through this if I feel like crap about the whole thing? “Harper?” Maddox asked breaking her out of her thoughts, “You okay?” She nodded her head yes, “Why? Do you want to go-- is this too much?” “No, you're squeezing the hell out of my hand,” He smiled, “You sure you want to do this? I mean if you’re second guessing bringing me?” “No, Maddox, it’s just been a couple of really messed up weeks. I am just…Maddox I would not want to be here with anyone else,” Harper looked up at him lovingly. “Then let's do this,” he smiled. They walked to their table and Harper smiled, “Hi.” Everyone smiled and said nothing. “Alright then,” Harper’s hand began to shake in his. Maddox squeezed gently and let go and pulled out her chair, “Thank you.” “Hello I’m John,” Maddox was stepping way out of his comfort zone, but what else could he do, she was being so unlike herself. “Hi, I’m Ava,” she stood and shook his hand, “This is Trinity, Ella, Olivia, Joe, Carter and I assume you know Liam.” “Yes, we have met,” Maddox sat down next to Harper and smiled. “You have been hiding on us,” Ella smiled looking at Harper.
“I don’t think I was hiding, just a lot of studying,” she rolled her eyes, “Lots!” “But why didn’t you want to ride with us?” Trinity asked. “I just thought Madd… err, my date would be more comfortable. He doesn’t know anyone and he got into town late. I wouldn’t have wanted you all to skip the group pictures at the park, on account of my date.” Harper smiled convincingly at them. “So where are you from, and how do you know Harper?” Ava asked sitting forward. “My dad hired him,” Harper giggled. “Oh yeah,” Liam laughed and Maddox chuckled. “Yep,” Harper laughed, “Look at him, definitely worth every cent. My pictures are going to be perfect.” Maddox laughed, and Ava gasped. “Rentadate.com?” Liam asked. “No, rentahotdate.com,” Harper smiled. Everyone at the table gasped, it was truly unlike Harper to act this way. She was normally quiet and refined. “What?” “I don’t know,” Ava asked annoyed, “You don’t talk like…like that?” “It’s okay for you all, but not me?” Harper smiled and her face started turning red. “Can I have a moment?” Maddox smiled and stood up pulling her chair out. “Sure,” Harper stood confused as he took her hand and lead her onto the patio. “Harper, we don’t have to do this,” he lifted her mask and looked into her eyes. “Did it offend you? I mean I’m sorry if …how stupid of course it…” Harper tried to turn away. “I’m not offended; I do have a sense of humor. I am just confused as to who the real Harper is. They seem to think you’re acting, and I don’t want you to do that with me,” Maddox said quietly. Harper lifted his mask and saw his brows knit together, “You know more about me than any of them, Maddox. I just don’t feel comfortable sharing my true self with them. They all say they are pretty tight, but that’s not what I see. Ella was supposed to come to the prom with Billy but he is at table four with Amber, who was Ella’s best friend until she screwed around with Billy. So they now hate each other. Amber was dating Joe who is now here with Olivia because he was going to go with Ava, who is now here with Carter, who was going to be my date. It’s all drama all the time. I’m sure it’s normal high school behavior. I guess I’m not normal.” “Thank God,” Maddox smiled. “I am extremely grateful that you're not normal.” “Me too,” Harper smiled with relief. “And you're upset with Ava because?” Maddox studied her face. “I don’t like him, Maddox. I will tell you all about that train wreck later-- when we get home. I want to tell them who you are, and I want them to know how I feel,” Harper stopped. “Go on,” Maddox squeezed her hand. Harper was deep in thought trying to figure out how to explain her feelings for him, “Have you ever watched Bambi?” “The cartoon with the deer?” Maddox chuckled. “Yeah,” Harper smiled and looked down at the ground and blushed, “The part where the owl explains what’s going on with Bambi to Thumper and Flower?” “Harper I have watched it, but only once. I have yet to memorize the movie,” he smiled and lifted her chin, so she was looking at him. “Twitterpated,” she closed her eyes and sighed, “I feel twitterpated.” She opened her eyes and they were sparkling. Maddox looked at her sweet gaze, and his mouth was suddenly dry. He swallowed hard, licked his lips, and Harper’s eyes widened and she smiled,
“Twitterpated.” He kissed her and a moan escaped against his mouth, and he trembled slightly. “Abraham!” Liam yelled from the door, “Dinner!” “Completely and utterly twitterpated,” Harper beamed. “Yeah, me too,” Maddox closed his eyes and stepped back, “Let's go.” He didn’t wait for an answer. He took her hand and walked quickly inside. They made their way to the table and he pulled out her chair; she sat and smiled up at him, “Thank you Johnny.” He winked at her and sat down. Harper stared at Maddox. He was much different from the closed off soul that burned with selfloathing when their fathers went to England together to bring down the people responsible for keeping him captive for almost sixteen years. He was relaxed and having fun. With her. “Do you have to pay extra for make out sessions?” Carter forced a laugh. “No, actually I couldn’t help myself,” Maddox laughed and squeezed Harper’s hand. “He is actually a friend of my family’s, we met a while ago,” Harper said raising her eyebrow in warning. Ava looked at her dumbfounded, “And you …” “Please don’t let this get uncomfortable,” Harper closed her eyes her tone was a plea. “Fine, Harper, but you are supposed to be one of our best friends. We should know about your good friends. So we will chat later,” Ava scowled and Olivia, Trinity and Ella laughed. Dinner was over, and the DJ started to play music, “Do you dance, Johnny?” Ava asked. “Not very often,” he answered, his eyes never moving from Harper’s. “Harper does,” Ava smiled and grabbed Harper’s hand, “Let’s go.” Harper looked panicked, as she did not want to leave him. “He can hang with me, you go,” Liam smiled. “I am fine, go dance,” Maddox kissed her hand. Maddox loosened his tie and sat back letting out a deep breath. “You like her,” Liam smiled. “Yes I do,” he smiled and turned to watch them dance. The music slowed down, and Maddox stood up and watched as Harper walked towards him smiling. “You can dance, Harper,” Maddox smiled as she approached. “I like to dance,” she sat down. “Would you like to dance with me?” Maddox held out his hand. “Are you sure?” Harper looked apprehensive. “It’s a slow song, Harper. London has prepared me,” he laughed. “She has?” Harper laughed back. “Oh yes. Pretty much insisted that I give her favorite cousin the best prom ever,” Maddox mimicked London’s excited expression. “I love her,” Harper smiled, “She is such an amazing kid.” “She is, I love and adore her as well,” Maddox turned towards Harper and put his hands on her waist, “I promise I will not step on your feet.” Harper looked up at him, “Wait, its dark in here. Now can we lose the masks?” “Yes please,” he pulled his off, and she took it from him. She stood and looked at his lips and eyes, her two favorite features. She bit her lip and rocked back and forth on her heels. When she was finally able to stop gawking she laughed, “Don’t move beautiful boy, I will be right back.” Harper set the masks on the table and walked back to dance: he had not moved. He put his hands on her hips, and she put hers on his shoulders. They smiled at each other; she looked
down and licked her lips. He watched her for a moment and closed his eyes. Wanted by Hunter Hayes surrounded the room and she was leading. Her hips swayed slightly to the beat of the music, and he followed the gentle rhythm she set. She finally looked up at him, “This okay?” she whispered, and he slowly nodded his head up and down. They gazed into each other’s eyes, neither looked away. His bashful smile melted her heart as he listened to the song, concentrating on the lyrics. She looked down needing space between her eyes and his lips. When the chorus started she sang softly, and he lifted her chin. She stopped singing. “Don’t stop now.” “You going to sing with me?” she smiled. “Next time the chorus starts I can try,” he laughed and took one of her hands and kissed it, “Come on Harper sing to me.” “As good as you make me feel, I wanna make you feel better,” she sang along with the music, and he smiled as she sang to him. Harper’s walls fell completely away when she was happy. It brought her completely out of her shell, for him and only him. The boy she chose to be her friend forever, and her first kiss. They danced and smiled as she sang, “You’re all I ever wanted,” she sang, and he stepped away and twirled her-- pulling her back to his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist as they sang the chorus together, his lips to her ear. When the song ended he kissed her cheek and twirled her around. She curtsied, he bowed, and they both laughed. She bit her lower lip, trying to stop smiling. He took her hand and put it on his shoulder and one of his went on her waist. He held her other hand in his. “Are you having as much fun as I am?” Harper asked as they danced to Mirrors by Justin Timberlake. “I really am, all the nervousness I have felt for the past week was gone as soon as we stood out back,” he smiled. “The water,” Harper smiled as he took the lead. “No, I don’t think so,” he smiled. His body was less tense and his moves were as smooth as silk. He pulled her closer and she smelled his clean skin and his very light cologne. “What are you wearing?” She breathed him in. “You,” he smiled and kissed the top of her head. The song ended, and they still held each other. Maddox finally looked around the now empty dance floor. “Do you think we should go have a seat?” Maddox’s eyes twinkled. She shook her head no. He laughed and pulled her behind him. They came to the table and he pulled the chair out for her, and she sat. He turned his chair to face her and they still sat looking at one another, both lost in each other’s eyes, completely twitterpated. “I knew I recognized you!” Ava laughed loudly. It was as if a needle scratched across a vinyl record. Harper’s face dropped. Gone was the giddy smile and feeling as if she was floating, defying gravity, or on cloud nine. Maddox squeezed her hand and smiled, “Doesn’t bother me Harper, not at all.” “You sure?” Harper’s voice squeaked, and she looked miserable. “If you’re alright, Harper, then so am I.” “Alright then, maybe you should introduce yourself,” Harper rolled her eyes dramatically. “Yes Ava-- sorry we did not want any drama,” Maddox smiled. “Well who is he?” Carter asked.
“My name is Maddox,” he introduced himself. Ella, Trinity, and Olivia gasped. “Okay, so what’s the big deal?” Carter asked. “He is Brody Hines’ son,” Ava told him. “The kid that was missing?” Carter stopped, “Well not missing but…” “Yes, that one,” Maddox gave a look of shock and smiled. Harper held his hand tightly and looked at him, trying to figure out what he was feeling. She didn’t have to wonder long. He leaned towards her and smiled, “I am fine and you?” “Yes,” she whispered, “I just can't wait until this thing is over.” Liam and Ella took the stage, they lead the prom committee. “Alright it’s time to announce our king and queen,” Ella said over the DJ’s microphone. “Would those in court please come to the dance floor,” Liam’s voice boomed, “Sorry,” he laughed pulling further away from the microphone. “Oh damn,” Harper’s face turned red. Maddox laughed; she rolled her eyes, stood up, and walked with Ava to the dance floor. “So you and Harper Abraham, huh?” Carter asked as they all stood together on the edge of the dance floor. “Yes, Carson was it?” Maddox asked no longer having to try to disguise his voice. “No Carter,” he laughed, “Good luck getting into that.” Maddox felt his face start to heat and his jaw clenched, “If I ever hear you talk about her like that again, I will break your fucking jaw. Do you understand, Carson?” Carter laughed, and Olivia noticed Maddox’s fists clench. “Don’t be a dick, Carter! Come on, Maddox Hines! Let's get closer so we can get some good pictures.” Olivia stood between them and waved her hands in front of Maddox’s face, “Hey did you hear me?” Maddox closed his eyes and then looked at Olivia, “Yes, I heard you.” Olivia grabbed his arm, he tensed up and pulled away slowly, “Oh, sorry.” “No, I am. Olivia, right?” Maddox smiled and looked for Harper. “Come on big guy, follow me. She is…” Olivia laughed, “Apparently she is the first runner up. She was so pissed she was nominated.” Maddox smiled as he watched her blush as Liam handed her flowers, “Why was she pissed?” “She doesn’t like this stuff, thinks it’s ‘just wrong’,” Olivia used air quotes and laughed. Ava was crowned Queen and Harper gave her a big hug and smile. “Way to go Ava,” Carter’s voice boomed through the room, and Maddox cringed. Harper walked through the crowd towards Maddox. She was stopped several times and given hugs and congratulations, she just wanted to get to him. As she got closer she could tell he was agitated. She excused herself and walked faster towards him, “Hey, is everything alright?” “Carter is a dick,” Maddox snapped and tried to avoid eye contact. “Prick,” Harper laughed, “Let’s get out of here.” Maddox looked at her and closed his eyes, “Sorry, no we can stay. It’s your prom, Harper.” Harper smiled back at him, “Thanks, but I would prefer to head back, with you.”
CHAPTER FOUR After Prom Harper and Maddox went home and changed. Maddox went with Tomas to help their parents set up the camp for Harper’s cousins and the get together they would host after they all left the prom. Harper’s hair felt like cement. She decided to shower to remove the ten pounds of hairspray out of it and remove her makeup. She dressed in shorts and a hoody and did her hair. She normally would have just thrown it up in a wet messy bun on top of her head, but she truly enjoyed the way Maddox looked at her tonight. She drove the four wheeler to the camp and parked it. Tessa, Collin, Brody and Emma came outside. Harper chatted briefly with them, and Collin pulled her aside and reminded her of the rules before they left. Harper walked into camp and Maddox had his back to the door. He was watching the fire, and she stopped to give him a few moments, allowing herself a moment to watch him. He turned, smiled, and walked towards her, “Did they give you the rules?” Harper laughed, “Yes, my dad did.” They stood looking at each other, neither knowing what to say, “Awkward,” Harper whispered looking up at the wooden beams. “Play a game?” Maddox smiled and sat on the couch and patted the spot beside him, and she sat and nodded her head yes. “Good, although it’s not really a game, it’s just taking turns asking questions. Would that be okay?” “Yes,” Harper tried to hold back a smile. “You first,” Maddox took her hand and sat back. “Did you have fun tonight?” “Yep, for most of the time. Now me, what will you do when you graduate?” he asked. “I agreed to go to a local college for at least a year and then the parental units,” she giggled, “Agreed that I could pick any college I want. What will you do?” “Same thing. Are your grades good enough for you to choose any school?” he asked. “Yep, Salutatorian. Liam is Valedictorian. How about you?” She asked finally looking at him. “Valedictorian,” He smiled. “Damn, we are smart,” she laughed and snuggled up against his shoulder. “Imagine if we…” he stopped and blushed. “Go on, if we what?” She quietly hoped he would say what she thought he was thinking. Maddox looked at her and smiled gently, “I just think we could probably rule the world. My turn: What do you want to do, career wise?” “Rule the world,” she laughed, “And you?” “I am having a hard time deciding between law and music,” he answered, “And you, this time a serious answer.” “I am having a hard time as well, has to be something helping people though. Possibly social work,” Harper answered. “What do you think your future holds?” He looked down at her and smiled again, “Not sure, but I hope…” “Break it up in here,” Liam laughed as he stormed through the door. “Really, Liam?” Harper laughed and stood up to grab one of the dishes he carried in.
Maddox grabbed the other and followed Harper. “Ready for this?” Harper nodded to the door as her cousins piled in with their dates. “I think I remember most of them from the Cape, remember that, Harper?” he joked. Harper’s face fell as she remembered how awful she was to him, “Maddox I was scared…you…I am so sorry.” Maddox looked at her for a moment, “I get it, Harper. I get it now.” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, “I don’t ever want to fight with you again.” He hugged her back and closed his eyes resting his chin on her head, he bent down and kissed it gently, “Me either, Harper, never again.” Harper smiled up at him, stood on her toes, and kissed him. Liam cleared his throat loudly, and Maddox started to pull away, Harper held her face to his, with his lips to hers, he laughed. She stepped back and grinned, “Almost a year ago, Maddox Hines.” He kissed her quickly and stepped back, “Yeah, first friend. First kiss.” “First, or only?” she scowled. “Only, Harper,” he blushed and smiled. “Good and you better keep it that way,” Harper smacked his butt then took his hand. She looked up at him, and he looked amusingly shocked. She laughed, and he closed his eyes, shook his head and followed her. They were all having a great time when the door opened. Ava, Carter and another guy walked in. Harper was dancing and laughing with Olivia and Ella when she saw them. She quickly looked for Maddox who was standing with Liam and Jackson. His eyes narrowed and nose flared. Harper swiftly made her way over to him. “Hey,” she smiled as she watched Ava and Carter walking towards them. “It’s okay that we are here, right?” Ava smiled at Harper. “Of course. It was a last minute thing, and I’m glad you came,” Harper hugged her and Carter wrapped his arms around both of them and laughed loudly. Liam saw Maddox’s demeanor change, “Hey, no harm no foul man.” “I don’t particularly care for him,” Maddox said through clenched teeth. “Me either,” Liam rolled his eyes and patted Maddox’s shoulder. Harper turned and looked at Maddox, “Take a walk with me?” He nodded his head and followed her into a room off the back. When they sat on the couch, Harper lifted his arm and put it over her shoulder and leaned into him. “I don’t know about you, but I am tired. It has been a very long week,” Harper laughed. “Why is that?” Maddox began to relax. “Anxiously awaiting prom and well, seeing you,” She smiled and looked up at him. He kissed her lips a little harder than usual and she turned her body leaning into him. His hand held the back of her head to his as he kissed her cheek and then down her neck and back to her mouth. She rested her hand on his chest and followed his lead. She kissed his neck, and his breaths became harsher, and he felt the burning in his chest again. They both sat back and stared at each other in awe. “That was really…” Harper stopped and looked at his glassy eyes. “Nice. Really nice,” the corner of his lip turned up in a much different smile than he had given her before. “I am really thirsty. Can I get you anything?” He started to stand, “No you sit, I have to go the bathroom so just let me get you a drink, please,” she smiled. “Okay, but if he…” Maddox started. “He? Oh my Gosh, Maddox, eww,” she laughed.
“He likes you,” Maddox scowled. “Well I don’t think so, but even if he did he wouldn’t have a shot,” Harper giggled, “Can I tell you a secret?” Maddox nodded his head yes and leaned forward, “I have these really strong feelings for this amazing, beautiful, smart guy. It’s like I am…twitterpated,” she leaned down and rested her hands on his thighs and kissed him gently. “Twitterpated?” he asked. “Completely twitterpated,” she smiled. “My goodness, you two are so cute!” Ava squealed and clapped her hands. “You guys want a drink?” “I was just going to get us one and go to the bathroom,” Harper smiled. “Well here, Maddox,” Ava handed him a bottle of water. “Thank you, Ava,” he smiled and looked at Harper, “Hurry back?” “Yeah,” she smiled and left the room. Ava followed.
Harper came back in the room, and Maddox was taking off his hoody. He smiled that same smile and curled his finger towards himself beckoning her. Her heart raced as she looked at him. She closed the door halfway and walked to him. He took her hand and pulled her into him and kissed her, “I can't get enough of your lips. Harper, you taste so good.” She kissed him harder, and he pulled her tightly against him, she could feel his heart racing and sweat was glistening on his brow. “I feel the same.” “I don’t know what has happened since the Cape, but you have become even more beautiful,” he kissed her neck and rubbed his hand gently up her side causing her body to press snugly against his. He pulled his head back and took her hand and placed it on his speeding heart. “My God you’re beautiful,” he kissed her again, hard. She whimpered, and he stopped and pushed her a little further from him. He didn’t want her to know what he was feeling. Her eyes moved down his body, and they widened. “Do I disgust you right now, Harper?” Maddox swallowed hard and his brows knit together. She quickly shook her head no and kissed him again. He pulled back and smiled, his hands kneading her hips, “I had a talk with my father about my reservations about …” “You don’t have to say it, Maddox,” Harper traced his lips softly with her finger. He kissed them and smiled, “I get it now, what he was trying to tell me. It feels so good touching you and being touched by you.” Harper’s mouth opened slightly, and she nodded, “Yes.” “I don’t want to push anything with you. I’m sure I’m not ready, but when I am, I want it to be with you. I feel like a brick is lifted off my chest and my heart. Each time we kiss, or hold hands, I feel like it will all be alright. Harper, I do not want to go eight months without seeing you ever again. I think I would crumble. Your smile Harper, it eases my pain. Your kiss reassures me that each tomorrow will be even better. Your touch heals my broken fucking heart. The need I feel from you and for you extinguishes the embers still burning my soul.” Harper kissed him as she felt the burning in her eyes. The words he had just spoken made her feel like she had not been completely out of her mind for almost a year.
She sat up, and he gasped and frantically began wiping the tears away, “I am so sorry.” “No Maddox, I have felt so strongly for you from the first time I laid eyes on you. I really have,” she cried as he rubbed her cheeks, “I swore I was going crazy, I was so angry at you one minute, and hating myself for it the next. God, I am an idiot.” He sat up and pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back as he kissed her head, “This would have never felt right if I had not met you. We are both completely twitterpated.” Maddox sat back expecting to see her grinning like she did when he made a joke, he needed to see her smile. She shook her head no, “That’s not what it is, Maddox, it’s…” “I love you, Harper Ann Abrahams,” his mouth wrapped around hers with urgency. “I love you,” she gasped. He laid her down gently on the floor and held his body above hers, “I need you; but not now. Will you wait for me, Harper?” he continued kissing her jaw and down her neck stopping just above her rapidly rising and falling chest. “Just name the time and place,” her breath hitched as his kisses became firmer, “Oh wow, Maddox.” He pushed himself quickly back from her, “When we are both of age.” He closed his eyes to steady his breathing. “We are both minors for another week,” Harper’s voice shook, “We can…” “Don’t say it please, Harper. My heart is racing, and I am wrecked-- if you saw it now I am not going to be able to hold it together,” Maddox was pleading with her. She sat up and rubbed her hand through his hair, “Maddox, you are sweating bullets.” “Tell me there will be no one else,” Maddox stood and began to shake. “My first and only, Maddox,” Harper said as she stood. “No one else’s lips, please tell me you will save your kisses for me,” Maddox closed his eyes and began trying even harder to calm himself down. “I promise,” Harper rubbed his face, and he pushed his head into her hand. “Me too. Harper, I need to get some air, by myself. I need to calm the fuck down,” Maddox laughed, “This love stuff is crazy. I have never felt so much emotion and energy.” Harper grinned, “I’ll be right here waiting.” “I may be rethinking the waiting thing, Harper,” he adjusted himself. “Please do,” she kissed him and he groaned loudly as he left the room.
“Get the hell away from me!” Maddox heard Harper squeal as he walked towards the back of the camp. “You wanted it before, Harper. And your lips sure do taste like heaven, just one more time and I’ll leave you alone. No one has to know.” Maddox recognized Carter’s voice. He tried to open the door, but it was locked, “OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!” The music turned off, and everyone turned and watched as Maddox kicked the door in. They all ran to the back of the camp. Maddox grabbed Carter and pulled him off of Harper he grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall, “First and only, Harper! You kissed him?” “It’s not what you think,” Harper tried to grab his arm, and he pushed her away.
“What kind of game are you trying to play with me?” Carter swung and hit him in the face, he didn’t flinch, “Answer me damn it!” He was hit again, “Maddox, it’s not…” Carter nailed him again, and Maddox laughed, “Is that all you’ve got, you pussy?” He let go of Carter’s throat, and he gasped for air and lunged at Maddox. Maddox punched him in the face, and the sound of crushing bone filled the room. Blood poured from Carter’s nose and Maddox laughed and drew his arm back to strike again. Liam and Jackson grabbed him and dragged him out of the room as Carter screamed in pain. “Keep crying you little bitch,” Maddox screamed trying to free himself from Jackson and Liam’s grasp. Within seconds, Tomas was running towards the back of camp as Liam and Jackson pulled Maddox outside restraining him against the hard, cold ground. Harper ran outside crying and screamed, “You said you loved me!” “That was before I knew you were a liar,” Maddox screamed back. “I am not a liar! He tried to kiss me, and I moved,” Harper cried, “He tried to kiss me. Please, you have to believe me.” Harper fell to her knees beside him, and he turned his head away from her, “Let it go, it was a mistake!” “No! You love me,” Harper began to scramble to the other side of him. Collin, Tessa, Brody and Emma came running down the path. “Get me the fuck out of here, Dad!” Maddox yelled. Liam and Jackson released his arms that were pinned to his back. “Oh my God, Liam,” Tessa yelled and ran in and got the first aid kit to clean the cut above his eye. Brody sat Maddox up and looked at him, “What the hell did you get into tonight?” “Obviously a fight. Please, I want to go home,” Maddox pleaded with Brody. “Collin, look at his eyes,” Brody clenched his fists and stood up and walked away. “Dad!” Maddox yelled. “Just give me a minute,” Brody looked at Emma and she could tell he was ready to lose it. “Breathe, Brody,” Emma whispered and rubbed his chest. “He is fucked up on something, Em,” Brody said through clenched teeth. “It doesn't matter, go to him. He needs you, Brody, you’re his dad,” Emma said sadly. He hugged her tightly and walked over to Maddox. “What did you do, Maddox, what drugs? Just tell me,” Brody squatted down next to him. “WHAT?” Maddox gasped “Are you kidding me right now?” Collin looked at Harper, “Let's hear it, Harper.” “He didn’t do any drugs, or drink, or anything,” Harper snapped. Collin and Brody looked at each other. Tessa was in the camp tending to Carter when all the kids came outside. “I want to know what kind of shit has been going on here tonight.” Collin spat, “Who's been doing drugs?” They all looked at him like he was crazy. Jackson spoke up, “We haven't done anything, Collin!” “Who the hell is this kid?” Collin pointed to Carter’s friend. Tessa walked over and grabbed Collin’s arm and walked him away from the crowd of kids, “Carter’s nose is completely shattered. We need to call his parents and an ambulance. His dad is the DA in Tompkins County, Collin.” Collin growled, “Get Tomas, I want you to get a piss sample and blood work from fucking Rocky over there. Tessa, we should call the police too. I want to know who has drugs on them. He is high as a
kite, and I trust he knows nothing about it.” Tessa took Emma, Brody and Maddox to the house and explained to them Collin’s suspicions. “Tell me what you're feeling,” Tessa asked Maddox as she wrapped the tourniquet around his arm. “Pissed off!” Maddox scowled as he watched her push the needle in his vein. “Okay, I would be as well,” Tessa untied the rubber tourniquet allowing the blood to fill the tube. Tomas walked into the house, “Brody, Collin thinks you and Maddox should probably get out of here for a while. The police and ambulance have been called. It’s probably going to get a bit ugly.” Brody looked at Emma and his eyes widened, “Go. Get him home. Maybe you should fly.” Brody kissed her and held her tightly, “Yeah. I am so sorry, Em.” Tessa walked back in the room, “Dad will drive you; he’s on his way.” Emma and Brody went upstairs to throw their belongings into their bags. “Where is Harper?” Maddox asked panicked. “She is with her father,” Tessa looked sadly at him. “I want to see her, tell her I am sorry for ruining her night,” Maddox stood and walked towards the door. “Maddox no. Not right now, okay?” Tessa grabbed his arm, and he pulled it away. “No, it’s NOT okay,” Maddox yelled. “Listen to me, Maddox; she is not going to be angry with you. You guys can talk sometime soon. But right now, you need to go,” Tessa raised her eyebrow at him. “I’m sorry, I have no damn idea what the hell is going on,” Maddox squatted down on the floor and hugged his knees. Tessa knelt next to him and hugged him tightly, “It will be okay, Maddox. So much has happened to you and I can tell you, I am in awe that you’re as able to keep it together as much as you have. Give yourself time to heal okay?”
“You trust me to take off right, Em?” Brody kissed her as he walked past to grab Maddox’s phone from the nightstand. “Of course I do,” she smiled “We need to get back down there, right?” He grabbed her by the waist as she walked by. “Yep,” she kissed him and he rubbed his nose against hers. “Let’s go, love,” he held her hand and grabbed the bags with his other, “I am going to miss you.” “When the girls wake up we are on our way home, you won't miss me for long.” She walked down the stairs.
Maddox was on the floor, and Tessa was sitting next to him. Brody stopped abruptly, and Emma looked up into his eyes. Brody looked panicked within seconds. That look left and then he was gone. The armor was up, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Hey…come back,” Emma whispered and rubbed his unshaved face gently.
He opened his eyes and kissed her, “We have to get him through this no matter what, Em, right?” “Yes,” she smiled, “We are his parents.” “Alright then, let's get him out of here,” Brody hugged her and kissed her swiftly. John, Tessa’s father walked in the house, “You two ready?” “Thanks Daddy,” Tessa stood up and pulled Maddox up with her. She walked over and hugged her father. “I am very sorry I have caused such stress again,” Maddox voice quivered. “Maddox, you will be fine and so will that little…” Tessa stopped when Harper and Collin walked in the house. “Where are you going?” Harper yelled looking at Brody carrying two bags. “Harper, they are taking off its better this way,” Collin whispered as he grabbed Harper, stopping her from running towards Maddox “Put the bags down!” she yelled at Brody. “Harper, they have to leave,” Tessa gave her a stern look. “NO! He needs to know I didn’t kiss Carter. I love him!” Harper began to shake. Collin gasped, and John started to laugh. They all looked at John. “It’s not funny, Grandpa,” Harper started to cry. “No baby girl it’s not funny, it hurts. I am just...well…I am just happy your mom gets to experience this part of parenting while I am taking the boys to the airport,” John hugged Harper, “You and I are going to spend some time together tomorrow got it?” Harper nodded her head yes and wiped her tears away. John winked at Tessa, hugged her, and whispered in her ear, “You deserve this one.” Tessa smirked, “Thanks a lot Dad!” “How come I am Daddy when I walk in to help you out but when I state the obvious I am just Dad?” John laughed and walked to the door, “I’ll be out here waiting.” Collin called Tomas, “Make the calls now,” he hung up, “You two need to get going, your plane tickets are waiting in Ithaca at the counter. Luckily, your flight leaves in less than an hour.” Brody hugged Emma, “See you soon, Love.” “See you soon,” she hugged him and Maddox, “Your dad is going to take care of things now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m sorry, I wish I could go with you now.” “Gotta go, Hines,” Collin said with urgency in his voice. “I am sorry, Harper,” Maddox yelled over his shoulder as they walked out the door. “Wait,” she started to run towards them. Collin grabbed her holding her back, “Daddy-- let me go!” “No, Harper now is not the time,” Collin held her back as she fought to get to him, “Tessa, we need to see if she is under the influence of whatever Maddox was.” Harper began to sob, and Tessa grabbed her and hugged her, “It’s going to be okay.” “Why does it feel like it never will be again?” Harper sobbed into her mother's chest. “It has been a rough night, that’s all,” Tessa looked at Emma, and they both hugged Harper tightly. “I hate to interrupt this moment, but you ladies need to pull yourselves together so we can get to camp,” Collin said as he walked towards them. Tessa glared at him, “A little compassion, Collin.” “There will be time for that later, let’s go,” Collin pulled Harper up, “We need to get back understand?” Harper nodded yes, “Joan’s here correct?” “Yes, she will look after the girls,” Tessa grabbed a coat and followed them out the door.
Collin, Tessa, Emma and Harper walked into camp. Alex and Jade were with Tomas and the kids. Headlights were coming down the long driveway. “Have everyone's parents been called?” Collin asked Tomas. “Yes, the ambulance as well,” Tomas stepped aside. “Wild party tonight, huh?” Jade laughed. The door flew opened, Lucas Links, Ava’s father stormed in the door, “What the hell is going on?” Ava ran up to him, and he hugged her tightly, and she began to cry. “Maddox hit Carter hard-- not that he didn’t deserve it,” Ava glared at Carter. “Maddox? Oh, Maddox Hines,” Lucas rolled his eyes. “Yes and he was also really messed up, Daddy, Tessa took blood…” Ava stopped when she saw her father glare at Tessa. “You want to explain, Ross?” Lucas snapped. “By Ross, I assume you're talking to me,” Alex stepped in. “Yeah, sure,” Lucas took a deep breath. “Liam assures me Maddox wasn’t doing drugs. I believe him. Carter locked himself back there in doe camp area and tried to mess with my niece. Maddox took care of it.” He nodded towards Carter. “Is this true?” Lucas asked Ava. “Lucas, you are pissing me off!” Tessa stomped, “Of course it’s true-- you ass!” Collin smirked and looked at Jade. “Well it pisses me off that I have been called by my little girl, twice, because of some damn issue when she was with you!” Lucas yelled back. “Alright let’s all agree that we are pissed off about the going on’s of tonight. It’s only going to get worse.” Collin took Tessa’s hand. “Always the peacekeeper,” Lucas scowled at Collin. “No, not always,” Collin smiled at Lucas. Jade laughed as she watched the look between Lucas and Collin change from annoyed to amused, “My favorite bromance ever-- better than reality TV. See, you two love each other.” Tessa smiled at Jade, and they both laughed. “The ambulance is here, and two other cars are pulling down,” Tomas reported and walked out to meet them. Jade laughed again, and Emma looked at her and smiled. Emma’s phone chimed - On the plane now…text you when we get in, I love you more Em, don’t you forget it...Music Man Emma smiled and shoved her phone back in her pocket, “They are all set,” she whispered to Collin. He nodded quickly. The ambulance pulled in, accompanied by the police and District Attorney Carson Stains. “What the hell happened here tonight?” Stains was about five foot ten and a little on the thick side. He had brown eyes and brown hair. “Dad, just get me to the hospital,” Carter whined, holding his nose. “I want answers now!” Stains yelled.
“Hey. Carson,” Lucas smiled and reached his hand out. Carson glared at him, “Alright then.” Collin explained to him what had happened, leaving out names. “Who hit my boy?” Stains snapped. “Maddox Hines,” Carter told him. “I want him arrested--- right God Damn now!” Stains yelled. “He isn't here, and he was drugged. We need to…” Collin began. “There were DRUGS!” Stains screamed. “Holy shit,” Lucas murmured under his breath. “Search these kids,” Stains yelled at the officers. “I have no problem with that,” Collin took a step towards him, “What I do have a problem with, is your son locking the door and trying to force himself on my daughter. If it weren't for Maddox Hines, who the hell knows what he would have done? So while you insist on searching these kids I am going to insist on a drug test, or we can take this to court.” “He went to prom with Links’ kid, not yours!” Stains snapped, “He didn’t like her. I find it hard to believe he would have to force himself on anyone. He probably had a sure thing with…” “You may want to watch your fucking mouth dick stain,” Lucas sneered at him. “You know what they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Stains sneered back. “Fuck--- yours doesn't have too far to fall now, does it little guy?’ Lucas egged him on. “I have thought you were a piece of shit for years,” Stains growled at Lucas. “I am sure you have,” Lucas laughed, “All that frustration pent up for years must have caused some permanent damage. Damn Stains, you must be almost certifiably insane” “You son of a bitch,” he sneered. “By the way how are Tina and Tammy?” Lucas winked at Tessa. “I am warning you, Links,” he began. “Oh and your mom what a fine piece of…” Lucas smiled as Carson lunged at him. “DADDY,” Ava screamed, as Lucas put his hands in the air and let Carson strike him. “Lucas what the hell is wrong with you?” Collin pulled him up after the police officers pulled Carson away. Lucas laughed and so did Tessa. Collin glared at Tessa, “This is not funny!” “Actually it is,” Lucas whispered, “Check this shit out.” Lucas held his jaw and let out a pain filled moan, “I want his ass arrested!” Jade and Tessa giggled as Ava and Harper looked at them like they were insane. “Do you want to press charges Mr. Links?” one of the officers asked. “I am in too much pain to make that decision right now,” Lucas was playing it up big time. “I want these kids tested,” Collin told the police officer, “and you can search all of their persons now. I am sure their parents will not be upset. Most are here anyway. Ella and Olivia, please call your folks.” The kids went in one by one and gave urine samples to the officers. Collin handed him Maddox’s blood sample, “I want the results to this as well.” Carter hugged Ava quickly before walking out with his father, “Sorry, Ava.” She pulled away and looked at him in disgust, “Screw off!” The police searched Carter and his friend and found nothing. They were allowed to leave with Carson. The police searched all the kids still inside. “We have a problem,” one of the officers said as Ava emptied her purse and a small vial of liquid fell out. Ava looked shocked and looked at Lucas, “Daddy, I swear it’s not mine.” Lucas took a step back and looked at her. He said nothing.
“Ava,” Tessa grabbed her and hugged her, “I am sure he believes you, right Lucas?” “No, he doesn’t” she cried and held tightly to Tessa, “I swear I would never.” “Ava Links,” the officer began. Lucas looked quickly up, “Over my dead fucking body!” Emma held Harper who was crying and Collin stepped between the police officer and Lucas, “Hold on, isn't there a law about possession, is this enough to hold someone?” “Get a lawyer,” the police snapped at Lucas. “Not a problem, Twinny,” Lucas snapped back. Jade laughed, “Do you know his sister too?” “His wife actually,” Lucas whispered and winked at her, “Maria number one.” “Pig,” Jade whispered back. “Reformed pig, Jade,” he smiled. “We need to speak to Maddox Hines,” Officer Twinny looked around the room. “I’m sorry; he and his father are on their way home. If there are any questions you can contact our lawyer,” Emma handed him Eli’s card. “Links bring your kid in tomorrow-- it’s not a request,” Twinny left the cabin. Emma received a text, - Just landed, love…Music Man - Good. Call Eli. I don’t see this going away… the boy’s Dad is a district attorney and an ass…Em - You know how much I love you right?...MM - of course, MORE…Em - Call me in the morning sleep in, please. See you soon…MM - Ok, I love you…Em - Love you...MM “Was that Brody?” Collin asked “Yep they just landed,” Emma looked at him, “I am so sorry.” “Between you and I, the kids don’t need to know this, I am very grateful, Emma. That little bastard could have seriously hurt my daughter,” Collin’s body visibly shook, and Emma hugged him. “Hey, is there anything else I can do here, or should I get back to let your housekeeper get home?” Emma asked. “Go ahead, nothing else is going to go on tonight,” Collin smiled and looked at Tessa still consoling Harper and Ava. Emma left, and the girls went with her. Alex and the other parents took the kids home. Jade stayed. Collin sat down and looked around at Tessa, Jade and Lucas. “I don’t see this going well for either Ava or Maddox,” Collin ran his hands through his hair and sat back. “You don’t think my daughter had anything to do with this do you?” Lucas glared at him. “No Links, you have a great kid. I think one of those two boys put the shit in her bag,” Collin sat forward looked down. “Well don’t you have like secret agent shit everywhere?” Lucas laughed, “Cameras or something?” Tessa laughed, “Not in camp, Lucas, what happens at camp stays at camp.” Collin looked at her and winked, “It was a good idea then anyway.”
“How about outside?” Jade asked nervously. “Yep, Tomas goes through the footage, I’ll have him check it out,” Collin answered her and looked at Tessa. Lucas laughed, “What’s so funny, Links?” “Jade, your face is crimson girl,” Lucas smiled, “You and Ryan like the great outdoors huh?” “Shut up, Lucas,” Jade smacked him. “Sorry,” Lucas laughed. “You should be! You’re going to have a lot of explaining to do to Ava about your slut years after tonight.” Jade laughed back. “Nah, she won't ask. She was pretty damn worried about the crap she is going to have to deal with. I do, however, have a card to play,” Lucas smiled at Tessa. “Button pusher,” Tessa giggled. “Yeah, no kidding,” Collin laughed, “Reminded me of a long ago Lucas.” “That secret power does come in handy, every now and then,” Lucas laughed. “Excuse me for a minute,” Collin’s phone was vibrating and he walked outside to take the call from Brody.
CHAPTER FIVE Life Emma sat up and looked at the alarm clock; it was ten in the morning. She was shocked she had slept that long-- a full eight hours. She looked around for the noise that woke her and found her phone under the covers. She grabbed it and saw Brody’s picture. “Good morning, how are you?” Emma smiled as she spoke. “Been better, Em,” Brody sounded unhappy. “We will get through this,” Emma tried to soothe his worries. “Promise me regardless of what happens we will, Em?” “Did you talk to Eli? What’s going on?” Emma was worried. It took a lot to make Brody nervous, and it scared the hell out of her. “I talked to him right after I got off the phone with you. They want his ass nailed to the wall, Emma,” Brody sounded exhausted. “Okay, you just sit still. I packed last night and I can be out of here in thirty minutes,” Emma said as she hurried around the room. Brody heard her shutting drawers, “Emma, slow down and have a seat we need to talk.” The tone in his voice froze her in her tracks. She sat down immediately. “You sitting, Love?” Brody asked softly. “Yes. Brody… you're scaring me.” “Em, Maddox and I are in England…” Brody began and then he heard a click, she had hung up on him. Her phone immediately rang, and she ignored the call and text him. - I will not fight with you…Em. - I don’t want to fight, Love. I want to explain…Music Man - I don’t want an explanation, I want you and Maddox home…Em - He can't be, and one of us needs to take care of him, and the other needs to get London through the rest of the school year and take care of Lexi…MM She did not reply. - Em I don’t believe there was any other option…MM - You couldn’t have told me--- talked to me about it?!!...EM - It was a split second decision. We are heading to the house in Liverpool. I’ll call you when we get there, please answer your phone then. I love you more Em…MM Emma threw her phone on the floor and cried quietly into her pillow. She heard a tap on the door, and it opened. Tessa saw Emma’s tear stained face and closed the door behind her. “Emma,” she hugged her and rubbed her back.
“I was just thinking: Troy was a walk in the park compared to this madness,” Emma sat back, wiped her face, and laughed. Tessa smiled, “You miss him?” “Of course,” Emma pulled her knees up and hugged her knees, “More so when I watch London and see her laugh like he did.” “Or when Brody pisses you off?” Tessa smiled, and Emma nodded. “He did it for Maddox. Collin seems to think he did the right thing.” “Tell Collin…” Emma stopped, and Tessa laughed, “I know but every time he leaves, it just feels like horrible things happen.” “Horrible things happen when he is here too.” Emma looked shocked and Tessa laughed, “It’s not him, Emma, its life. Get London through the end of the semester and go. Take some time to get Maddox through this.” “I am angry with Brody, he should have talked to me, damn it!” Collin walked through the door and handed them each a cup of tea, “Then you would have been an accessory. Alex, Phoebe and the boys are here.” He left the room and Tessa smiled, “You could have stayed with Troy, and I could have stayed with Lucas, and we would’ve missed out on all the fun our men bring us. You shower and get ready to talk to London. I have to talk to Harper, and then you should stay another night or two, or just move back. I miss you when you’re gone, and I miss London. She’s a riot.” “Thank you, Tessa.” Emma said as they got off the bed. Emma got out of the shower, and she had a missed call from Brody. She secretly was glad she missed it because she was sure she would have forgiven him in the first thirty seconds of their conversation. Her phone rang again, and it was Maddox’s number. “Hello,” Emma answered quickly. “Aw Love, so predictable,” Brody chuckled. “Really?” Emma’s snapped. “Tell me I am forgiven, and that you understand.” “How is Maddox?” Emma asked coldly, “Did you even think he should see a doctor or…” “Em, he was high as a kite for the entire plane ride to JFK. Halfway here he finally passed out. He is fine and probably will sleep the entire day.” “Good,” Emma whispered. “How angry is London at me?” “She doesn’t know yet. I can swing it either way though, Brody. I can tell her the truth, and she will be pissed at you. Or I can say it was both our decision and share the burden,” Emma was angry. “Which will you do, Love?” Brody said softly. “You piss me off,” she snapped. “Why is that?” Brody asked. “Don’t play dumb with me. I’ll talk to you later, when I figure it out!” Emma hung up the phone and got dressed. She was ready to walk out of the room, and she looked at her phone again. She picked it up and called Brody. “Hello Love,” Brody answered. “I am pissed at you!” Emma yelled. “I understand,” Brody said calmly. “Do you Brody? Do you know how shitty it feels to not want someone out of your sight because you're afraid they are just going to take off? I don’t enjoy feeling jealous and insecure,” Emma started to cry. “Em, don’t do that, don’t cry, please. As far as being insecure-- how could you be? That would
insinuate that you don’t trust me. I will never leave you,” Brody sounded hurt. “You do…all the time,” Emma wiped her face. “Never to be rid of you,” he whispered. “Fine,” Emma flopped back on the bed. “What are you wearing right now, love?” Brody purred in her ear. “Go fuck yourself, Brody,” she tried not to laugh. “Exactly what I had planned to do. I even took your panties. I am going to take them in the shower with me and…” Brody began. “Have fun with that.” “You will be with me in spirit, love,” he had a smile in his voice. “Goodbye,” Emma said. “Oh no Em, it's see you soon. By the way guess what I have in my hand,” Brody groaned. “See you soon,” Emma hung up and moaned as she lay on the bed wishing he was here to take away the emptiness she felt inside.
Harper sat on the couch snuggled up in a blanket wondering how the absolute best night of her life turned into the worst. He said he loved her. She was not sure if it was truly how Maddox felt or if it because of the drug. It couldn’t be, she thought as tears fell down her cheek. She wiped them quickly with the blanket when Liam walked in and sat next to her. “Please don’t cry girl,” Liam grabbed her head and pulled it into his chest. “What a mess,” Harper forced herself to laugh. “Other than the whole drugged Brit, along with the assault, the cops and finally Ava being set up. I think it all went pretty well,” Liam laughed and Harper smacked him. “I’m glad to have you around, Liam.” “Tell me why I never knew how you felt about Maddox,” Liam scowled down at her. “How am I supposed to talk about boys with you?” Harper forced herself to smile “I am a boy Harper, who better to talk to about boys then a boy?” Liam laughed. “He told me he loved me,” Harper whispered. “How could he not?” Liam hugged her tighter. “I love him Liam, I really do,” Harper cried. “I have no doubt you do, he is a lucky boy,” Liam continued to listen to her. “He is gone, he and Brody are in England,” Harper whispered. “Okay, so if it’s meant to be it will be right? You are both too young baby girl. But right now you are showing an emotion besides pissed off and it makes me happy,” Liam laughed. “Promise me when you need to cry you do it with me?” “What?” Harper laughed. “Have you ever seen a girl cry, Harper? It’s kind of ugly,” Liam laughed and caught her fist in his hand, “Sorry, but I cannot lie to you, it’s hideous.” Harper tried to squirm out of his arms, and he wouldn’t let go. Harper laughed, and he laughed with her. She finally stopped trying to fight him and calmed down. “It’s raining, so I don’t have to help grandpa and dad, wanna watch a movie?” “Yeah… but it has to be a really sappy one,” Harper looked at him and waited for him to object. “Fine, but if you tell anyone I’ll kick your ass,” Liam laughed.
“I won't tell anyone,” Harper smiled. “Thanks, Liam.” Harper and Liam lay on the couch, and Tessa walked in with popcorn, “Thanks Aunt T,” Liam smiled and took the bowl. Tessa smiled, he reminded her of all the times his father had comforted her during her Lucas years. She walked into the kitchen, and Collin walked in with his phone in hand. “Liquid G,” Collin snapped. “What?” Tessa asked confused. “The drug, it was liquid G. It used to be like a date rape drug, I bet that fuck was expecting Harper to have… Lucas and Ava are on their way. They just left the police station,” Collin hugged Tessa and lifted her setting her on the counter, “How is our girl?” “She is doing okay-- Liam is watching a chick flick with her. God, he reminds me of Alex the way he was comforting her,” Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her, “I am the luckiest chick in the world.” “Oh yeah?” Collin smiled. “Oh yeah,” Tessa kissed him and pulled back, “No socks tonight, Collin.” He laughed, “Perfect.” He kissed her and his hands started rubbing up her side, making her laugh. “It’s raining outside, shall we go dance?” he kissed her again. Tessa sat back and rubbed her finger tips and lightly scratched up his neck, and she bit her lip. Collin growled and hoisted her over his shoulder and smacked her ass. They heard a knock on the door, and he pulled her down his body slowly. She stuck her bottom lip out; he nipped it and growled into her mouth. He reached down and adjusted himself. “You get that, I need a minute, beautiful,” Collin smiled as he walked into the bathroom. “Collin around?” Lucas asked when Tessa answered the door. “Yeah, where is Ashley?” Tessa asked. “On her way home from Jersey,” Lucas walked past Tessa avoiding eye contact. Tessa hugged Ava, “Hey, how are you?” “Not good,” Ava hugged Tessa, “How is Harper?” “She and Liam are in the family room watching a movie, go ahead in,” Tessa kissed her head and Ava left the room. Lucas paced uncomfortably back and forth. “What’s going on, Lucas?” Tessa asked and motioned for him to sit down. “This is a fucking mess,” Lucas sat next to her and banged his head on the counter. “Don’t hurt yourself there bud,” Tessa smiled and rubbed the back of his head. He looked up at her and then closed his eyes and let out the breath he had been holding. Collin walked out and sat next to Tessa, and she grinned at him he smiled and looked at Lucas, “Did you press charges?” “Not yet,” Lucas said uncomfortably. “Why?” Collin asked as he got up and grabbed three bottles of water out of the refrigerator. “He will get the charges dropped against Ava if I don’t press charges,” Lucas looked up, “But he won't drop the charges against Maddox. He has fucking Napoleon Syndrome hardcore. He is going to go after him hard, I know it.” “They are in London,” Tessa looked at Lucas. “She didn’t do it, Tessa, I know she didn’t,” Lucas wanted her to believe him. “Of course she didn’t,” Tessa smiled. Collin yelled for Ava and Harper, and they came out, “What did you guys drink last night?” “Dad we didn’t drink, geesh,” Harper rolled her eyes.
“No, Harper, not alcohol, did anyone give you something to drink?” Collin asked. “Ava gave Maddox and I water…” Harper looked confused. Lucas groaned and hit his head on the breakfast bar again; Tessa laughed and smacked him in the back, “Cut it out.” “Were they opened?” Collin asked. “Carter opened them for me,” Ava looked at him confused, “That little prick is the one who told me I should take them water. NO WAY!” “Yes way,” Collin slammed his fist on the counter and walked outside. Lucas followed him, “I know that this little prick should pay for what he has done, Collin.” “What are your reservations?” Collin asked. “My kid having a record,” Lucas snapped. “I get it Links, she didn’t ask for this shit either,” Collin shoved his hands in his pocket. “Even just possession is not alright with me, she is going to college for pre-law. My daughter wants to be a lawyer. This would screw everything up for her,” Lucas punched the tree. “Lucas, that tree didn’t do this,” Collin tried not to laugh. “This shit is not funny,” Lucas growled. “I watched you allow someone to punch you in the face last night and now your hand is probably broken,” Collin saw Lucas’s wife Ashley walking towards them, “Hello Ashley.” “She isn't here,” Lucas sneered. “Hello Collin,” Ashley said from behind Lucas. “Ashley, when did you get in?” Lucas was shocked. “I left when you called this morning,” Ashley answered. “Is Logan here?” Lucas looked at her hopefully. “He’s at Jade and Ryan’s. Where’s my girl?” Ashley asked. “I’ll go get her,” Collin excused himself. Lucas looked at Ashley, and she looked away, “Ash, come on… don’t be like this.” “Like what Lucas?” Ashley looked at him. “Angry. Pissed off. God — you can't even look at me for two damn minutes,” Lucas grabbed her face, “Look at me — God damn it Ash!” “Stop, this is about Ava, not you and I,” Ashley pulled away. “No damn it. I fucked up, Ash. I apologized; I said it because I was pissed. I love you. I miss you!” Lucas hugged her tightly. “Let. Go. Of. Me. Lucas,” Ashley yelled. “Not a fucking chance,” Lucas held her tighter. They heard the door open, “Mom,” Ava ran into her arms, “You came?” “Yes of course. You need me, I’ll be here,” Ashley hugged her tightly, and they both cried. “I didn’t do it, Mom,” Ava sobbed. “I know, peanut,” she wiped her eyes. “You have to stay home Mom, I need you,” Ashley cried. Ashley Links had been going to stay with her family in New Jersey on weekends for the past six months. Ava had told her that Lucas yelled at Tessa when he picked her up at the Cape, while Ava was with Harper and her family on vacation. Ashley was devastated that her child knew that Lucas and Tessa had a five year relationship many years ago. She expected someday, that it would surface. What she didn’t expect was that Lucas told Ava not to say anything to Ashley, and that it had been kept a secret from her, for nearly five months. Lucas clenched his fist and walked away from them. He had not meant to hurt Ashley; the only woman he had ever been faithful to, the only woman who he not just loved but respected, the woman he chose to
stay with forever, and the mother of his children. Harper came out and called them all in for lunch. Ashley looked at Lucas, and he closed his eye and mouthed, “Please.” “Ava, give Dad and I a minute,” Ashley kissed her, and Ava went in the house. “Ash come on, stop this shit. You know damn well that I love you,” Lucas took her hands, “Look at me, Ash.” “You hurt me,” Ashley stepped back. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it. I was trying to keep you from being hurt. Do you understand that, Ash?” Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets trying to stop himself from grabbing her. “She needs us,” Ashley wiped her tears. “Yeah,” Lucas agreed. “Logan misses you,” Ashley took a deep breath. “I miss him,” Lucas closed his eyes, “I miss you, Ash.” “We should go in…do they know?” Ashley asked. “No,” Lucas said and looked at the ground. “Does anyone?” “No, Ash,” Lucas swallowed hard. “You didn’t tell Ryan?” Ashley asked. “Ashley, no one knows. Let's get in there,” Lucas reached his hand out hoping she would take it. “Do you love her?” Ashley asked. “Ash can we talk about this later?” Lucas asked. “No, I want to know… now.” Ashley wasn’t moving. “I have told you how I feel a hundred times,” Lucas said, “Nothing has changed.” Ashley looked at him and took a deep breath and took his hand. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, “I love no one the way I love you Ash. No one.” Ashley looked up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly, “No secrets Lucas, not from me.” “Never again,” Lucas kissed her, and she whimpered against his mouth, “Baby, did you miss me?” “We need to get inside.” “Ash, I can promise you it’ll only take a couple seconds baby, I’ve never gone without sex this long,” he laughed as he kissed her neck.
They sat at the table and talked about the issues at hand. All agreed that Ashley, Lucas and Ava needed to make the final decision. Collin would speak to Brody and Emma after the decision was made. Ashley helped Tessa with the dishes while Ava and Harper sat uncomfortably looking at each other. “Harper, please don’t be mad at me,” Ava whispered. “I’m not mad at you Ava, I am mad at the situation,” Harper smiled quickly at her, “I am going to shower. Call me tomorrow?” “Okay, Harper. I really am sorry,” Ava hugged her and she went upstairs.
Harper walked into her room and lay on her bed. She looked at her phone for the millionth time today, and there was still nothing from Maddox. She grabbed the hoody she had worn and remembered Maddox had taken his off at camp before the fight. Harper ran down the stairs and out the door and ran the entire way to the camp. She ran inside and into the back and on the floor she saw his gray hooded sweatshirt. She dropped to her knees and began to sob as she held it to her face and smelled it. She looked around the room. The room Carter had held her against the wall pressing against her, groping her. She began to shake and screamed at the top of her lungs, crying like she had never cried before breaking apart inside. A feeling she had never felt before, she knew she was dying. Collin ran in the room and picked her up as she cried into his chest, “Beautiful girl, you are going to be okay. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, ever.” He walked down the driveway toward the house, carrying her as she sobbed. Lucas, Ashley and Ava stood in the driveway as he walked into the house. Ava started to cry and Lucas held her. Tessa walked out, “Sorry about that. Ava, don’t cry. We’ll talk to you all later.”
Collin sat with Harper curled up on the couch. Tessa grabbed a blanket, covered her and kissed her cheek. She looked at Collin. He was clenching his teeth and his eyes were red. Tessa rubbed her hands against his cheek and he pushed his face into her hand and rubbed his cheek against it. Tessa bent down and kissed his cheek softly, “We got this.” He closed his eyes as she rubbed his face. When Harper had fallen asleep, he laid her down on the couch. Tessa grabbed his hands and hugged him, “You're doing great, Collin.” “I’m going to fucking kill that piece of shit,” he snarled. “No you aren’t. We are going to be strong for her. She needs us to be strong for her,” Tessa started to cry. Collin looked at her and his shoulders wilted, “Okay, Tessa, I got you, we can do this. Tomorrow morning we press charges.” Tessa looked at him confused, “Lucas drops charges, charges are dropped against Ava and Harper presses charges against Carter. I have no clue why I just thought of this. I need to call Links.”
CHAPTER SIX Liverpool Maddox woke in an unfamiliar place. His heart raced, and he wiped the sweat from his forehead. It was dark and very quiet. He slowly moved to the center of the bed and saw a light from under a doorway. He stood to make his escape; he took a step and the floor creaked. He froze when he saw a figure standing up from a chair in the corner of his room. “You are finally awake. I bet you’re hungry,” he knew the voice and watched as the door opened, allowing light in and exposing his captor. Maddox let out a sigh of relief when he saw his father, “Dad.” Maddox walked quickly to him and hugged him tightly. “Well, who did you think it was?” Brody returned his hug and stepped back, “Maddox --you are soaked, did you have a dream?” “Yeah. I…I’m sorry,” Maddox was clearly embarrassed. “I really am.” “Not a big deal, Maddox, it can be cleaned. In less than twenty four hours you have been drugged and brought back here, I am sure it’s messing with your head. Bathrooms was three doors down on the right. Go and try to relax-- I got this.” “I can clean it up, Dad. I’m the one who pissed the bed,” Maddox looked disgusted and embarrassed. “Go shower Maddox, I am really not shocked that this happened. You have been through a lot. Really, go on,” Brody pushed him gently towards the door. Maddox walked into the bathroom disgusted and looked around. It was not as modern as the one at home. Home, he thought of how upset London, Lexi and Emma must be with him. He thought of his grandparents and the disappointment they must feel. He thought of the rage he felt inside for the pain that he was making all of them go through. He would not think of Harper or the tears she cried when he had said such hateful things to her. He would not think of her kiss, and the comfort he felt in her embrace. Or think of dancing with her and holding her; or the sweet sound of her voice as she sang to him while he held her. If he allowed himself to think of her, he knew he would not survive. He heard his father on the phone as he started down the hall. “Thanks for letting me know, Collin. That’s great, but don’t put Harper through that if it’s just to get the charges dropped. Yeah, I don’t want that either, the little fucker needs to pay. Alright, talk to you soon,” Brody hung up the phone and set it down and grabbed the laundry basket. “Dad,” Maddox came down the stairs, “What is going on with…what is going on with the charges?” “Well, why don’t we take a ride and grab something to eat and then we can chat,” Brody smiled. “I don’t know,” Maddox looked around. “Why don’t we start with a tour of the house and grounds? I think there might be pasta somewhere. It has been a long time since I have been here,” Brody smiled and put his arm around Maddox’s shoulder. “It doesn’t bother you to be here?” Maddox asked knowing it was here that Brody had confronted his Uncle Bo, a man he knew had something to do with keeping Maddox in hell for fifteen years. “Maddox, we are perfectly safe here,” Brody pointed to the floor, “I shot a very evil man dead right there. Because of that, my family is safe. Many people are free and reunited with their families because of you and because he is gone. I feel empowered standing here. Not fearful.” Maddox nodded his head in acceptance, “Okay.” “There is also a kickass security system,” Brody smiled, “Let me show you around.”
They walked through the house, and Brody took Maddox down to the wine cellar, he froze when he saw the tunnel entry. “I can’t stay here, I would rather be in jail,” Maddox ran up the stairs, and Brody followed him out the front door. “Maddox wait!” Brody ran down the long driveway after him. Maddox finally stopped at the road. When Brody got to him, he began to shake. “I can’t go back there, please do not make me. I am sorry I messed up I promise not to again. But I can't go back there,” Brody grabbed him and hugged him as he shook, “I know you are angry, I have torn your family apart but please don’t send me back there.” “Maddox enough! I would not send you back to that, ever. Do you understand? Not ever!” Brody shook him. “I won't do it again,” Maddox knelt down tried to calm himself down. He didn’t want to make Brody angry. Brody gasped at Maddox’s reaction, he had not seen him act this way. He knew he was scared, he knew shaking him to try bringing him back to reality was a bad idea, but this was not what he expected. “Maddox, stand up please,” Brody’s voice shook. He did as he was told. “We are going inside to grab a few things then we can leave,” Brody looked at him sadly. “Where will we go?” Maddox asked. “Wherever you want,” Brody patted his back. “Are we safe here?” “I would never have brought you here if it wasn’t. I’m not leaving you either. We get through this together.” “Alright then.” “Leave or stay Maddox, your call.” “Stay.” “Alright then.”
Maddox closed his eyes and laid in bed. He fell asleep. The house was dark; the night sounds filled his ears. He covered them and rocked back and forth, trying to drown the sounds. They stopped, and he scampered under his bed, but not fast enough. He grabbed the legs of the bed holding tightly so that the pig couldn’t get him. Hands wrapped around his ankles and pulled him. He kicked trying to free himself, but he was not strong enough. He yelled out in pain when he felt the blow to his side causing him to let go. The pig stood over him smiling. Maddox jumped up and looked around his dimly lit room. Brody had bought him a night light, he insisted he didn’t need such a thing but right now he was glad Brody bought it anyway. He walked out of his room towards the bathroom. There was a nightlight in the hall and one in the bathroom. When he was finished he walked to the top of the stairs and heard Brody on the phone. “Thanks Love…I miss you all as well…No London he is asleep, it is late here, or early… I don’t remember…Oh Lexington, I miss you Da Da Da misses you…Love you all more, Em call me later…Does not matter what time,” Brody hung up the phone and stood up and walked to the stairs he started to walk up and saw Maddox, “Hey, you should have came down. The girls and Emma would have loved to talk to you, Maddox, they miss you.”
“I just had to use the bathroom,” Maddox attempted a smile. “Okay, you hungry?” Brody asked, and he shook his head no. “We will have television tomorrow, and internet,” Brody attempted to entice him, “Oh, and if you’re ready for company the band is waiting for the green flag to stop in.” “Will Zach be with them?” Maddox showed a bit of excitement. “Yes, he was also here before we arrived. He made improvements on the security system. He personally saw to it that the tunnel leading here was permanently sealed off from the others,” Brody watched Maddox relax, “Please remember that he is not officially part of any of the investigations that went on or are currently going on. He has connections; he’s kind of like a secret agent, without being paid. Kind of like you.” “How like me?” Maddox was bewildered. “Come on, let’s get a drink,” Brody walked down the stairs and Maddox followed. “You helped a lot of people get found, Maddox. A lot of people found their missing loved ones.” Maddox nodded his head in agreement, and Brody felt relieved. When they finished chatting both Brody and Maddox sat waiting for the other to talk. Brody laughed, “You look better.” Maddox rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his head and sat up and smiled “You said it will be okay.” “Yes I did. And I promise it will be,” Brody sat back and tried to figure out what to do or say that would make him believe it. “Dad, is Emma angry with you?” Maddox asked, peering up at him. “No, she understands,” Brody smiled slightly. “Okay.” Maddox sat back, “Is she mad at me?” “Of course not,” Brody looked at him with concern, “Look no one planned for this to happen. But who knows, maybe it is a good thing.” “I’m tired,” Maddox stood up. “Cool, I want you to sleep in my room tonight,” Maddox began objecting, “Maddox, not a big deal. It is odd staying in a new place, especially one as quiet as this. We are used to London, Lexi, your grandparents, the dogs…” “Birdie,” Maddox laughed. “Ugghhh, that damn thing,” Brody chuckled, “She better leave that in the States.” Maddox looked confused, “Are they coming here?” “We are waiting to see what happens with Harper. She is pressing charges against Carter. It may cause him to drop the charges against you…a little leverage. The charges against Ava were dropped because the DA popped Lucas Links in the jaw and Links in turn dropped the charges against him.” “I do not want Harper to drop the charges. If he had…” Maddox took a deep breath and he felt his heart race. “Maddox that’s up to Harper, Collin and Tessa-- not us, okay?” Brody spoke softly trying calm him and reassure him that he did not have to carry that burden, “Whatever they choose to do we will support them.”
Maddox woke in the dark again. Brody was not in the room. He heard him talking in the hallway. “Em, just hold tight okay. London finishes school in two weeks, let her finish there. We will make that
decision when the time comes.” Maddox walked closer to the door and listened as Brody continued: “Eli will handle it; there is not much that can be done to us if we are here.” Brody had stopped talking for a moment, “He is much better tonight. He asked if you were upset with him… I assured him you weren’t…I’ll have him call you in the morning…No, Harper has not tried to contact him…We will have internet service tomorrow……Skype?...Fine Em, but one day…I love you more, kiss the girls…He may have an issue if I walked in there and kissed him for you-- he is asleep…Alright then sweet dreams…see you soon.” He heard Brody let out a weary breath, and he went back and laid down. He did not want to fall asleep. He was afraid of the dreams, ones he had not had in years, ones he wished he didn’t remember.
Brody woke and Maddox sat up, “Good morning.” “It is,” Brody smiled, “Why don’t you and I take showers and head out to breakfast, do a little shopping, and we can have the band over this afternoon?” “Alright-- can you actually go shopping here?” Maddox smiled. “Yes, weird huh?” Brody chuckled as he stood up, “We should also have the internet up today. Maybe we could find a gym, a place to box?” “That sounds great. It has only been a few days, but I miss it,” Maddox smiled, “I miss the hell out of it.” “Don’t let me forget we need some more adapters for the gadgets. Your phone is probably dead,” Brody smiled as he walked into the master bathroom.
Brody and Maddox spent the morning walking around City Centre through crowds of people without being stalked by photographers. They sat near the waterfront and watched some street performers. “Did you ever just start playing your guitar here without prompt or occasion?” Maddox smiled. “Sure have, you and I should do it,” Brody joked. “Alright,” Maddox laughed. “You really would?” Brody was shocked. “Yeah, I think I would,” Maddox laughed at his surprise. “Cool maybe this weekend the guys will come with us and blow their minds,” Brody sat back as he and Maddox watched the performers. Brody’s phone rang. “Oh damn,” Brody laughed. “The guys are at the house, we gots to go boy.” They got to the car, and Brody tossed him the keys, “You drive.” “What?” Maddox was shocked. “Just like a video game,” Brody got in the car. Maddox gasped, “Dad, I can’t.” “Get in, just remember you drive on the opposite side as we do in the states and you’re driving a very expensive car,” Brody laughed.
Maddox looked at him, “Have you lost your mind?” “Maybe, but you’re going to be 17 soon. Let's do this,” Brody smiled, “I trust that you can do it-come on.” Maddox laughed and sat in the driver’s side. Brody gave him instructions, and he started the car, “Just go slow, no hurry, we are only about ten miles from home.” Maddox drove slowly, and Brody laughed every time someone passed them. Maddox could not help but laugh along with him. He pulled into the driveway, and all the guys were standing outside. “Great job, Maddox,” Brody hugged him, “Alright let's meet the crew, and by the way, they don’t know about Zach either. So if I act like an ass to him once in a while, it’s all part of the show.” “They don’t know?” Maddox gasped. “Nope,” Brody winked. Joe, Quinn, Oliver and Zach swarmed as soon as Brody and Maddox got out of the car. “Maddox,” Oliver hugged him tightly and laughed, “I have seen a lot about you, television star already. You do better than your father during interviews.” Brody laughed, and Oliver hugged him, “Man, it’s good to see you.” “You as well,” Brody laughed. “We going to jam today?” Joe asked tapping his sticks together. “Yeah, that sounds great. You in, Maddox?” Brody ruffled his hair. “Maddox, you play?” Zach asked. “Um no not…” Maddox began. “Yeah he does, and he sings,” Brody punched in the security code and tried to open the door, “What the hell?” He tried it again, and sirens began to screech. Maddox covered his ears and laughed as Brody continued punching in numbers cursing loudly and finally kicking the door. Maddox watched Zach laughing as he took his cell out of his pocket and tapped the screen a few times and the alarms stopped. Zach winked at Maddox, and he laughed. Brody turned around and glared at Zach and then looked at Maddox snickering. He loved watching his son laugh and smile. Brody laughed and opened the door. He nudged Zach as he walked in and draped his arm over Maddox’s shoulder. They played for hours; laughing, writing and singing. Before they left they had plans to do the same the next day. “Hey Brody, when will you be kicking my ass out of the band?” Zach laughed. “Not yet, too much going on right now,” Brody smiled. “When you do, I am taking Maddox with me,” Zach winked at Maddox, “You’re real good kid. We could throw some tracks down, maybe we could open for the band. Concert in 6 weeks at O2 to kick off the European tour. You two aren't wanted around here are you?” Brody laughed, “Not yet.” “What do you think, Maddox?” Zach asked. Maddox looked at Brody, and Brody nodded his head yes. “I don’t know,” Maddox answered apprehensively. “We can definitely get you ready, a song or two. Your Dad on the other hand, I’m not sure he can hang anymore. See you both tomorrow,” Zach waved as he walked down the driveway. Maddox smiled at Brody, “I can't do that.” “Yes you can,” Brody grinned, “You would do great.” “We won't be here,” Maddox said hopefully, “I have to get back for graduation.” Brody tried his best to smile, “We should go back up to the Waterfront tonight.” Maddox nodded his head in agreement.
“I am going to call Emma. Would you like to talk to her?” Brody asked walking into the house. “Yes, and my sisters,” Maddox smiled. London answered the phone, “Hello Daddio.” “London,” Maddox laughed. “MADDOX!” she screamed, and he held the phone away from his ear and chuckled. “Hello London,” Maddox laughed. “So, are you awake now? Mom says you have been tired. I would like the whole story when I see you. They think I am a baby,” London cleared her throat, “So do you like the house?” “It is nice, quiet though,” Maddox poked fun at her. “We sent a package, you and Dad should get it tomorrow,” London giggled. “Tell me what it is?” Maddox asked. “A surprise from Lexi,” London laughed. “Sounds great,” Maddox smiled at Brody. “I can't wait to blow this popsicle stand and hop the pond, it is going to be so cool living in…” Emma grabbed the phone from London. “Hey, Maddox, we miss you,” Emma’s smile has clearly heard in her voice. “I miss you, Mom. Did London say we will be living here?” Maddox asked. “Hey, how about we do the speaker phone thing, that way we can all talk together?” Emma asked and she waited until she knew it was on speaker. “Hello, London and Lexington, Em,” Brody chimed in. “Brody,” Emma used a deep voice mimicking his and giggled. “You are trouble,” he laughed, “Alright children; we have decided to stay for the summer here. If we like it we stay, but it has to be a decision we make together. Emma did you talk to Dick today?” “Yes, and Maddox can test out, so Maddox you are graduating this year!” London and Emma cheered. “Alright then,” Maddox said quietly. “You didn’t want to?” London laughed. “Of course I did,” Maddox tried to sound happy for her. “Maddox and I have been pretty busy today, why don’t you tell them about it, Maddox,” Brody patted his back. “Dad let me drive…” Maddox began. “Hey now that was not what I was talking about,” Brody tried not to laugh. “Brody!” Emma snapped. “Em?” Brody chuckled, “He is quite good at it.” “Maddox do you think you can look after your father until I get there?” Emma laughed, “You know, help him make big boy decisions.” Maddox laughed, “You mean like the concert he is trying to get me to perform in?” “Wow, you two have been busy. Are you really going to?” Emma asked “I am not sure,” Brody laughed, “It’s been awhile.” “Chicken,” London teased. “Am not,” Brody replied. “Prove it then,” London goaded him. “Yay, Dad do it,” Maddox snickered. “If you do I will,” Brody laughed, “On that note… pun intended; Maddox and I are going to head downtown. I love you all more. Em, I’ll Skype with you later.”
Maddox sat anxiously while Brody talked to the three piece band set up on the waterfront. He watched Brody shake their hands and walk towards him, smiling. “I am going to play bass; you are going to play acoustic. They know most of my songs which do you feel comfortable with?” Brody smiled proudly at Maddox. “You mean now?” Maddox gasped. “Of course, do you think the first time you play in public I am going to let it be with anyone else?” Brody gave a shocked look and smiled. “I can’t,” Maddox whispered. “Just try for me. Please,” Brody held his hands as if in prayer. Maddox followed apprehensively. The three younger guys shook his hand and chatted with them for a while. “Hey man — I’m T. Your father is amazing. You any good?” T asked. “I wouldn’t count on it,” Maddox laughed timidly. “Don’t sweat it man, people just walk by and smile. I have watched your dad on MTV. He looks over people. That’s what I did the first time, it gets easier. Let's do this: London’s Child?” T asked. “I think I can do that,” Maddox took the guitar the scrawny blonde kid handed him, “Thanks.” T tapped his sticks and Brody nodded to Maddox who started playing. He knew the song well, one of his favorites to play. “I forgot the words, Maddox, it’s all you,” Brody winked. Maddox shook his head no, and T started to sing. Maddox smiled and joined along. By the time the first chorus started Maddox was singing louder, and a crowd had gathered. They moved on to Blue Love and Maddox relaxed a bit more. They played a third song and the small crowd of thirty multiplied by at least five. They all cheered, and Maddox looked down at the ground grinning. Brody thanked the boys and the crowd, who knew exactly who he was. He introduced Maddox and his face turned red. He gave a quick wave and a thank you. “Maddox Hines,” T shook his hand, “These guys are fun, but pretty much suck. Both leave for college soon. Let me know if you need a drummer, I would love to ride the Hines coattails. You’re really good. I am not just kissing your ass. We’re back here Saturday, a real band backed out of the summer kick off. Stop by.” “Thanks T,” Maddox smiled, “I’ll talk to Dad.” Brody stood back and watched the ease in which they interacted. The same way he and his friends did when they began playing together. He liked T immediately, sensing he was a good kid but didn’t have much more than the sticks he shoved in his back pocket. The other two boys, on the other hand, looked high as a kite, and he would prefer Maddox steer clear of them. “Maddox, let's grab a bite. T, if you would like to join us feel free,” Brody walked towards the food area of center city, and they followed. T looked at his clothes when they walked up to a hotel restaurant. He knew he didn’t belong, “Hey man I am going to take off.” “Where are you headed, we can give you a ride,” Brody offered. “I am taking the train back to London,” T started to walk away. “That’s a long ride T, eat with us-- I insist,” Brody would not take no for an answer. “Table for three is ready,” they followed the host to the back of the restaurant.
They were seated and were handed menus. “You are honestly going back to London and then coming back here Saturday?” Brody took a drink of water. “Yeah.” T took a drink and sat back into the plush chair. “Then how will you and Maddox be able to practice for Saturday?” Brody looked down at his menu. T looked at Brody shocked, “You would seriously let him play?” “If he wants to. You’re very good. By the way, what does T stand for?” Brody motioned for the waiter. “Thomas. My name is Thomas.” “Three salads to start, house dressing, followed by whatever soup you choose and three steaks medium,” Brody handed him back the menu, “Is there a gym available for hotel guests?” “Of course sir,” the waiter filled their wine glasses. “Are there rooms available here?” “I can check Mr. Hines, how long will you be staying?” the waiter asked. “A week,” Brody sat back and looked at Thomas “How old are you?” “Eighteen in a week,” T drank his wine and Maddox looked at Brody apprehensively. “The legal drinking age is eighteen here Maddox. It is not frowned upon if someone your age has a glass of wine with a meal. If you don’t want it you don’t have to. T, we haven’t found a gym here in town yet. I want Maddox to have time to practice playing with you. You will stay here alright?” Brody looked at him briefly. Maddox looked at Brody “Dad, what about his parents?” “T, do you stay with your parents?” “No sir,” he looked down. “Is this an acceptable arrangement?” “I can’t accept, no. It’s far too much,” T looked uncomfortably around the room. “It would be doing us a favor, Thomas, but you owe us nothing, so I understand,” Brody watched the waiter bring the salads and soup. They ate quietly, and Maddox looked back and forth between the two of them, “T, I think it would be cool.” “It would be very cool it’s just a lot.” “Again it would be doing us a favor,” Brody watched as the wait staff returned. “We have one suite available,” he informed Brody. “What do you say, T?” Brody smiled at him. “Alright,” T’s face was flushed and he looked at Maddox who laughed.
Brody and Maddox went up with T to the suite. It had a separate kitchen and living area, and a master bedroom with a large sunken bathtub. “Damn,” T whispered when he looked around. Brody placed the left overs in the refrigerator and walked into the bathroom. He called the front desk. T and Maddox clicked through the TV channels until they came to MTV. “You are going to be on this someday Maddox,” T elbowed him. “Yeah right,” Maddox laughed, “If I do you’ll be up there with me.” “Deal,” T watched Brody walk out of the bathroom, then onto the balcony.
Brody dialed his phone, “Hello Love.” “Hi.” “I am standing on a balcony of a wonderful hotel looking over the water.” “Oh?” “Oh yes. Maddox met a friend, T-- short for Thomas. He’s a drummer and the three of us played on the waterfront tonight.” “Really? How was it, how did he do?” “He did amazing. And if that’s not enough to make me smile, he has made friends with a very gifted drummer.” “Would that be T?” “Uh huh. We had dinner, and he was going to take the train back to London. I got a room for him. Em, he is a really cool kid. Very laid back and he and Maddox are very comfortable together. Saturday night T’s band is playing again, and he wants Maddox to play with them. “How is Maddox with that?” “I think he wants to. So Maddox will be very busy practicing with T and the band. Of course, they don’t know this yet,” Brody laughed. “You are doing an excellent job, music man.” “I am,” Brody laughed, “How are you, love?” “I miss you very much. But we are packing, London is excited, Lexi misses you, Mom and Dad seem excited.” “So they agreed to come?” “Yes of course. After a couple weeks.” “Good, I miss you Em.” “Only a couple weeks away, we will do just fine. You keep him busy, and I’ll get things set for the move. Brody, the dogs have to stay in a kennel for a few weeks when they arrive. London is trying to hide the disappointment, but it's not working.” “And that cat?” “Birdie doesn’t have to be quarantined,” Emma laughed. “Of course not. Em, can we just pretend he had to stay in the States? We could make up a ‘no ugly cats allowed in the UK’ law… she would never know.” “Birdie misses you. Lexington tells him he will see Daddy soon.” “Oh, how thoughtful of Lexi.” Brody laughed. “What is Maddox doing?” Brody turned around and watched through the glass door at Maddox and T, “They’re watching MTV.” “Good-- he has a friend.” “Yes he does. All that kitty talk made me miss you even more, Love. Purr for me?” Brody’s voice was heat filled, and Emma laughed. “Em… please love?” “Oh Brody I’m tired. Tomorrow you will get lots of purring. Maybe even a scratch or two,” Emma said softly. “Mmm but no Skype?” “I am going to bed. I love you, Brody. Tell Maddox the same.” “Love you more kitten. And I can't wait until tomorrow.” “Me either.”
Brody and Maddox walked into the house, “Thanks Dad, I had an amazing night.” “Me too, and I am exhausted,” Brody yawned. “I’m going to head up to bed.” “Alright Maddox—I’ll be up soon.” Maddox walked into his room and grabbed his phone. He wanted to see how Harper was. He was disappointed that she had not texted him. She always did first. He sat the phone down and went and showered. After he had dressed for bed he sat and stared at the phone and then flopped onto his pillows. He realized that one glass of wine was still affecting him. - Are you awake?...MH He sat and looked at the phone wondering if a text from this distance took longer. He looked at the time again and pulled his pillow over his head and groaned wishing he didn’t send it. She is pissed, rightfully so, stupid, stupid, stupid.
CHAPTER SEVEN Upstate “It has to be your choice, Harper,” Collin twisted his hands on his lap. “I don’t want to make the choice.” Harper was conflicted. She didn’t feel like Carter should go innocent; she wanted him punished for what he had done. She worried that Maddox would never be able to return if the charges were not dropped. “Harper, I spoke to Emma this morning. They are all going to spend at least the summer in England regardless of what happens. This choice is yours, but I do want you to think about what it all means though. Carter could hurt someone else someday, Harper… I…we want you to take the night and sleep on it. First thing in the morning you tell us your decision,” Tessa hoped she would make the right one. Tessa was appalled by the fact that because they could technically not prove Carter was the one who put the drug in the water; he would get away without the drug charge. She was horror-struck that her daughter was locked in a room being groped by a boy, who clearly did not take no for an answer. Shocked that it happened on their property with Tomas sitting out of sight because she had told Collin he was being ridiculous, and that she was fine. And appalled that it took so long for them to even think how all of this affected her. They worried first about Maddox being arrested, and then about Ava. Harper had told her parents repeatedly over the last few days that she was fine. It could have been much worse. She told them she fought him off and then Maddox and Tomas took care of the rest. She did not want them to feel badly for any of it. And she certainly did not want them being any more overprotective then they already were. Harper had not told her parents about Ava’s shocking confessional. That Ava wanted to hurt Harper so she went after Carter because she was upset and blamed her for the trouble in her parents’ marriage.
Harper lay in bed trying to process everything that had transpired over the past few days when Tessa knocked and walked in the door. “Can we talk?” Tessa sat on her bed, and Harper nodded her head yes, “Okay, can you talk? I’ll just listen. Sometimes just venting, letting things out, is freeing.” “I’m afraid you will think its silly,” Harper scooted over as Tessa laid down next to her. “Maddox?” “Yeah. Out of everything that has gone on, that’s all I can think about,” Harper rolled her eyes and Tessa laughed. “First love thing,” Tessa grabbed Harper’s hand and kissed it quickly. “Maybe you should spill the beans-- I may just come out of my shell and tell you even more than you want to know if you told me about your first love, Mom,” Harper rolled to her side and stared at Tessa. “Harper, my mistakes…do you really need this?” Tessa did not want to tell her any of it. “I think it would help.” “Okay, Lucas persuaded me. I was resistant. I was angry about…oh here we go another secret…your
grandparents splitting up,” Harper gasped, “I acted out, very badly. We struggled the entire time. It hurt, and I cried. A lot. I disappointed myself and my family.” “Did you have sex with Lucas Links, Mom?” Harper sat up on her bed. “Harper… dear God,” Tessa rolled on her stomach and hid her face. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Harper laughed and stopped, “Wait, does Dad know?” “Your father knows everything. Of course he knows.” Tessa sat up. “Okay, so you lived together?” Harper asked. “Yes, Lucas went to SU and played football. Then he was drafted. It was never easy for us, and we were our own worst enemies. Jealous, possessive, needy; it was a very unhealthy relationship. We broke up, and I met your Dad. I never looked back or thought twice. The scariest thing is that if I had not walked away I would have never met the man who treasures me, and I would not have known what it was like to get back as much as I gave in a relationship. We almost missed our chance several times.” “The picture of you two as kids above the fireplace?” Harper asked. “We did not see each other for many years after that. We didn’t know one another’s names,” Tessa smiled looking at her ring. “And then?” Harper clapped wanting more. “Your great-aunt died when I visited her, she lived in the family house on the Cape. Your father was on leave and working on our house next door. He held me together, literally… until Pastor Lou came. I never saw his face. Not long after that a very dear friend who was in the military at the same time your daddy was, died. Your father was in uniform at the funeral. Everyone had left, and I sat on the grave sobbing. Your dad handed me a tissue to comfort me. Those two encounters were while I was wrapped up in a relationship that was so wrong on many levels.” Collin walked in and sat down, and Tessa’s face turned red, and she laughed, “She has not gotten to the best part. Well besides you three children. We were meant to be. I know for a fact I would have never married or had a family if not for your mother. We would not have missed our chance; we would have eventually found each other. Right beautiful?” Collin pulled her head to his chest, “Anything worth having is worth waiting for. If this boy is meant for you, it will happen. If he isn’t, it won't. But you cannot stop living and doing what makes you happy or what you are drawn to, Harper. Get through college, travel, smile, sing and dance. If Maddox Hines was supposed to be yours right now it would not be this hard. Who knows what your future holds? Could be him or it could be the next one. Just don’t rush it, okay?” “You waited for mom all that time?” Harper hugged him, and Collin looked at her and smiled. “I waited. Of course I waited,” Collin smiled. “So you never lived with anyone else?” Harper continued hugging him. “No Harper, I never even dated anyone else,” Collin winked at Tessa, and she glared at him. “So Mom do you feel like…bad that you were, and he wasn’t?” Harper looked at Tessa and waited for an answer. “Yes, Harper,” Collin chuckled behind Harper’s back knowing how angry this probably made Tessa, and that made it even harder not to laugh, “Well then if you need anything else I’ll be in my room.” “Daddy you are just SO perfect,” Tessa heard Harper say as she walked out the door. Collin laughed as he hugged his little girl and then he heard not one but two doors slam, “Harper if you need anything at all just yell. I’m going to see if your mom needs anything.” “Yeah, those doors must be kicking her butt,” Harper smiled as she rolled over to turn off her light. Harper tossed and turned and finally got up and went to her closet. She pulled his sweatshirt off the hanger she had placed it on so that no one would wash it. She laid down and smelled it. It still smelled as lovely as he does, thank God. Harper grabbed her phone to set her alarm. Her heart raced when she saw she had a message, a message from Maddox.
- I am awake, sorry. I just got this. Maddox, how are you?...HA - I am well. I have not used my phone since we arrived here. I want to know that you are alright…MH - Thank God. I thought you were mad at me. Are you mad at me? You know I did not kiss him don’t you? …HA - I am not mad at you Harper. ..MH - Good I was serious when I told you I loved you…HA Harper waited for his response it was taking longer than she thought. She re-read the texts and felt sick to her stomach. She should not have said it, not this soon. God what was I thinking? - Harper I don’t know how to respond to that. I know when I was with you before being drugged, I felt strongly for you. I am uncomfortable saying the words. I do not ever wish to hurt you, ever…MH Harper re-read the texts. What was I thinking, what do I say, why does this hurt so badly? - Okay, not a big deal. I am glad you’re being honest. So how is England....HA Maddox looked at the text and felt bad. But as she said it was not a big deal. If not, then why do I feel so bad? - Are you pressing charges? I think you should, he had very bad intentions. I don’t want to see you get hurt Harper…MH Too late she thought as she typed. - My parents and I are going to talk tomorrow. They said that you were moving to England for a long time. How do you feel about that?...HA - Harper, you have to press charges…MH - I want to see what kind of deal they offer. Maddox you may be able to come back… Isn't that what you want…HA It’s what I want Harper thought, as she pushed send. Maddox read her text and started to get angry. - I want to know that he cannot hurt you ever again…MH - He was trying to kiss me, Maddox. BECAUSE I TURNED AWAY WHEN HE TRIED BEFORE…HA Because I want no one else kissing me but you, Harper wanted to cry. - England is great. I am excited to be here, I hope that everyone decides after our family trial period is over that this is where they will want to stay as well… MH There Harper…take me out of the equation. Maddox pressed send. - We are spending the summer as we usually do. This year it’s South America, remember when you went there? And then the Cape for the last two weeks before college begins…HA
Please remember, Harper pushed send. - Yes South America was beautiful. I, however, preferred the Cape. A much more realistic vacation atmosphere. I jammed with my Dad’s band all afternoon. The man who has filled in for him for the past year or so asked that I join him, and he and Dad think we could open for him in London at 02 to kick off the European tour. If we do well, we can open at every event. I played guitar and sang in public with my father and a small band earlier this evening. I also met a new friend who is a drummer. Very cool….MH Okay, see Harper? I am not coming back, press charges. Maddox sent the message. Harper read it over and over again. He was trying to tell her he did not have feelings for her. That South America was a joke, and he had met a new “friend”. - Very exciting things for you, I hope the music and your new friend make you happy. I want nothing less for you…HA - Harper do you realize when you sign off it says HA, like it’s a joke? I never realized that. It’s kind of funny isn't it?…MH He knew that would make her smile, sent. - Yes it’s funny. I never realized it before, Good catch…ha Ouch, Ouch, Ouch. Now I am a joke? “HA” she snapped. - I am a bit tired I had a glass of wine with dinner. A first for me-- apparently it isn’t frowned upon here in England. I think it will help me sleep. I hope you sleep well, HA. Please let me know that you have pressed charges tomorrow… MA - Anything in excess is not good for you, one glass right? Please take care of yourself. I have a very busy day tomorrow, and a speech to write for graduation if I don’t have time to call, I am sure Emma will tell Tessa…HA - Alright take care of yourself in the meantime. Chat with you soon…MH Harper re-read all the messages. How could she have allowed herself to believe this was anything? For a year, she thought about him. In her head, she had allowed herself to dream about what it would be like to kiss him and hold him again. The fact that the reality far surpassed her dreams, made this even harder. She had allowed herself to dream of him; and her spending time at the Cape, of school breaks meeting him somewhere and taking walks and talking, maybe even attending the same college where she could see him every day. For God’s sake, she even allowed herself to imagine marrying him. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!!! She screamed in her head. Harper turned off her light and finally after an hour of self-loathing, she fell asleep.
Harper sat at her desk going over her speech for her graduation ceremony. She read the inspiring speech over and over. The one her mother had shed tears over while she read it, her father beamed with
pride, and her advisor at school told her it was the most beautiful speech she had ever heard. She reflected on the past two weeks of school; how all the guys except Jackson and Liam snickered at her when she passed them in the halls along with some of the girls, no doubt the ones who had dated or whose future plans included dating Carter, gave her dirty looks while she passed them in the halls. Girls she thought were her friends. The class that voted her onto homecoming court even though she thought it lame. Oh yes, and then there was the fact that she hadn’t heard a peep from Maddox. No text the next day saying, “Yes Harper I do love you.” Not even an “I love my friend.” She sat back and crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. Yes, it was more for effect, the stupid thing was saved on her computer, and no doubt a copy was already framed and ready to be hung next to Matthew and CJ’s in the family room. Ha, she thought and then ha was not funny it was a joke just like the past freaking year of her life. HA! Harper Ann Abraham, so HAA-- the joke was she could even be laughed at longer with a long a sound. Haa and if she had married Maddox it could be HAAH or just HAH, Harper laughed at how ridiculous she was Ha! Hell yes, I can laugh at myself, ha ha ha, just like that. Harper was in her room laughing hysterically at herself, and she grabbed a pen and paper and began to write. Harper stood at the podium overlooking the two hundred people sitting in the bleachers to watch the people they loved graduate. Her brothers were home, Grandpa John and Grandma Maggie sat in the front row of the bleachers next to her parents, aunts, and uncles. She smiled politely, and Matthew winked at her, and she laughed. Her laugh boomed into the microphone, and all she could think was HA. “My fellow students, educators, family and friends,” Harper began to giggle, and Liam sat in the chair next to her and laughed, “Ha,” he said to him and he laughed uncomfortably, she smiled and took a deep breath. Crumpled up her paper and looked at the crowd. “I am not a spontaneous person, so I am going to start trying to be more so, today,” she looked at Tessa who smiled at her, “We sit here today celebrating four years of hard work to achieve the ultimate goal; receiving our diploma. Check it out, there is a basket full of them all rolled up with pretty blue ribbons and topped with a bow. We did not get here alone… we did it with help from our families who love us, through educators - some who love us, and some who are probably going to throw their own party when they are sure they do not have to look at us again, ever, and I can say I truly appreciate what they have all done for me. Leading me to the finish line to capture the ultimate prize; a rolled up piece of paper with a ribbon. Harper looked at her grandfather and he was smirking, she watched her mother kick him, and she laughed. “I really want to take the time to thank my fellow students for all they have taught me as well. All the lessons received, you know all the things that we are not graded on. From you I have learned so many things,” Harper giggled and stared for a few moments at the crumpled paper before her, “That was a really bad decision.” Liam stood up and grabbed her hand and whispered in her ear, “You don’t have to do this, Harper.” “Thanks, but I do,” Harper did not let go of his hand, he stood next to her, and she took a deep breath, “I had some really important things I was going to teach you all today, but I suppose that we have all learned enough or we would not be here in these glossy gowns, and mortarboard caps with these silly little tassels. So why not talk about what we do have to celebrate; tomorrow. Tomorrow, the order in which we sit here becomes our yesterday. Those of us who are not happy about it can begin our walk to change it. Tomorrow we don’t walk into a building we so desperately wanted to leave. Instead we walk towards a dream of everything we knew life could be…without the voices of others obscuring the voice within ourselves. Let no one hold you back from your dreams. The saying, if you love someone set them free comes to mind. Reality is we are far too young to hold ourselves to the idea of one life, one love forever before we even know truly who we are. If they love you they want you to be happy as well. Oh,
and seriously being pissed off at someone who your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you with, is lame. Move on get over it, don’t let it consume you and for God’s sake, stop talking crap about them, you are so not perfect. Okay, now I remember my badass speech. We have all screwed up, all of us. We are kids we are supposed to screw up. Just because, you didn’t ace your SAT’s doesn’t mean your dream of Harvard is unattainable. Work hard and don’t stop ‘til you get there. Just because you didn’t get the lead in the play doesn’t mean you won't have a star on Hollywood Boulevard. Just because someone called you a ho because you loved on their boyfriend doesn’t make you a ho, same goes for the guys out there, figure you out. Walk out of here today smiling knowing that less than half of the people you had to impress or outdo will never cross your path again. If it hurts or makes you angry, LET. IT. GO. Tomorrow we become accountable to ourselves, tomorrow we become accountable for our future. Tomorrow we get to choose. I’ll finish with a quote from one of my favorite people ever, Ellen DeGeneres, ‘Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods, and you’re lost, and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.’ Harper looked at Liam and smiled, “That’s all I have, thank you and congratulations everyone.” CJ and Matthew stood up and clapped and whistled loudly, Harper smiled and covered her eyes. She heard a loud unfamiliar noise. Harper laughed out loud when she saw her grandfather and brothers ringing cowbells. Tessa stood and whistled loudly and grabbed a cowbell and joined them. The crowd joined in, and Harper hugged Liam and sat down. “Alright, quiet down now,” Liam stood at the podium and laughed, “I don’t know how I am supposed to follow that badass speech, but I’ll try.”
Liam, Jackson and Harper were holding their graduation party together. Harper walked out of the house towards the tents set up for the celebration. Jackson grabbed Harper and dragged her behind him to the tent. “Ready to have some fun?” Jackson smiled over his shoulder. “I am ready to hide in shame, Jackson.” Harper slowed down. “Get over it girl. Like you said; Let. It. Go,” Jackson laughed, “Check it out Luke Lane is home and Matthew brought a friend. I don’t think either of them saw you at the graduation ceremony.” Harper smacked Jackson’s arm and stomped away, laughing. “Hey Harper,” Jackson smiled, “Don’t you tell Liam, but your speech was…badass.” Harper rolled her eyes and blushed, “Thanks.” “No B S. I really liked it,” Jackson hugged her. Tessa smiled as she saw her walking towards the tent, “Give me a minute?” “Yeah,” Harper was looking around the crowd. “London is not here, they left this morning for England,” Tessa squeezed her hand. “Without saying goodbye?” Harper was angry. “We can visit…” “NO!” Harper was shocked and covered her mouth. “Harper it will be okay,” Tessa wrapped her arm around her shoulder, “I have to tell you I was shocked by the speech today. But heed your own advice, Harper. Follow your dreams.” “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Not a big deal.” “We are going to South America, one of the communities already set up so far less work,” Tessa
smiled at Harper. “I would probably prefer more work,” Harper smiled. “And then the Cape,” Tessa tried to make her smile, “With the whole family.” “Cut short by two weeks, and then off to College,” Harper smiled and held two thumbs up and rolled her eyes. Matthew walked up behind her and poked her in the sides causing her to jump and laugh. She turned around and was about to punch him in the arm. “You better not, I brought company home. I have to be on my best behavior,” Matthew stepped back. “That doesn’t mean I have to be,” Harper lunged at him, and he stepped aside, and she fell into the arms of a stranger, “Oops, sorry.” “Harper, this is my roommate, Blake. Blake, this is Harper,” Matthew watched as Harper stood up and stepped back. Blake smiled, “You okay?” Harper nodded her head yes, “Thank you.” “No problem, that was a great speech,” his smile broadened, and she noticed the dimple. Devil dimple, stupid devil dimple. “Harper, the one person who thought your speech was great, and you can't even say thank you?” Matthew joked. “Thanks,” she rolled her eyes and laughed, “See you around.” Harper ran towards Jackson and Liam. “Who's the new guy?” Liam laughed. “Blake, Matthew’s roommate from college,” Harper pulled her sunglasses over her eyes. “Fresh meat?” “Eww gross!” “Sorry --but I noticed you checking him out.” “Whatever, Liam.” They walked into the tent and grabbed a plate of food and sat at a table with Jackson, Luke Lane and a few other cousins. Harper noticed Matthew and Blake at the buffet. “Whatcha looking at?” Liam whispered. Harper looked at him and made a nasty face. “Yeah, eww gross, huh?” “Liam, knock it off,” Harper laughed. Blake was handsome, he had short black hair and light brown eyes. His smile was gentle as were the rest of his features. His button up shirt looked pressed and expensive. He wore shorts and tennis shoes. He carried himself very well and smiled at everyone. He was charming, and everyone he stopped and said hello to seemed very much at ease. “Here he comes,” Liam goaded. “I swear Liam, I am going to pop you in the nose,” Harper growled at him, and he laughed. “How is the chicken, Harper?” Matthew sat next to her. “Well its feather free, organic, hot but not too hot, and marinated for the perfect amount of time allowing the sauce to flavor the meat perfectly,” Harper smiled and took a bite and chewed obnoxiously. “Cornell sauce,” Matthew winked. “Yes, indeed,” Harper rolled her eyes. “Harper, will you be attending Cornell?” Blake asked. “Yep, Liam and I both are.” Harper answered without looking at him. “Ivy League, very nice.”
“What? After that speech you doubted it?” Matthew laughed. “It was a great speech,” Blake elbowed Matthew. “A badass speech,” CJ sat on the other side of the table and winked at Harper. “Yes, she had a badass prom as well. Which I want details, Harper,” CJ raised his eyebrow and sat back. “God, you act just like dad,” Harper scowled at him. “She had a great prom. I caught her sucking face with Maddox outside and…” Harper smacked him in the back of the head, “I had to drag her inside.” “YOU KISSED A BOY?” CJ yelled loudly. Harper covered her face and slumped down in her chair, “Shut up!” “And she liked it,” Liam laughed, “Maddox Hines then proceeded to shatter her ex-prom date’s nose after kicking in…” Harper stood up and walked away as they all laughed. Ava ran up to her, “Remarkable speech! It’s hot as hell out here, let’s go swimming!”
Harper and Ava dove into the pond and swam to the floating raft. “We are going to Jersey for a month and are renting a house on the beach. You should see if your parents will let you come for a while. Blow off a week in the South, wherever.” “They would not go for it. Sounds fun though,” Harper laughed and pushed Ava in the pond and jumped in next to her. “Jerk,” Ava splashed her. “The cousins are coming, the cousins are coming!” Ava pointed to the guys on the dock. Harper laughed and watched as Blake unbuttoned his shirt. “Damn, Harper, is that a cousin?” Ava looked over her sunglasses at Blake. “No, that is Matthew’s roommate,” Harper answered and rolled onto her stomach to dry her back in the sun’s heat. “Wow, you should be all over that,” Ava put her hands behind her so she could watch as they all swam out, “Your mom and Jade are watching us check him out.” Harper laughed, “You mean watching you check them out?” “Us, me, the same thing.” Ava laughed, “Here they come -- sit up, sit up already.” Harper giggled and rolled over as Blake jumped on the raft and smiled slightly at Harper before turning and giving Matthew a hand. He was bent over reaching out to Matthew, and Harper looked at Ava devilishly. She lifted her foot and gave his rear a push, and he fell over Matthew, and into the water. Ava and Harper laughed, “Not a word, Ava.” Matthew jumped up and laughed as he shook his wet hair over them. Blake jumped out of the water and laughed, “Which one of you is in serious trouble right now?” Ava and Harper pointed at each other and started laughing. Luke Lane grabbed Ava from behind, threw her over his shoulder, smacked her on the butt and tossed her in. “It was that one,” he pointed at Harper. “I thought so,” he looked at Harper, and she looked back at him smugly, “You have two choices.” “Oh yeah?” she laughed. “Yes. Stand up and yell at the top of your lungs that you are sorry and will never do such a hurtful
thing to me again,” he smirked. “The second option,” she smiled. “Be tormented by me all summer long. Wondering when I’ll strike back.” Blake stepped back, “I will give you about three seconds to decide.” “One, two, three,” Harper rolled her eyes and jumped in the water and when she surfaced she was laughing. Harper looked around for Blake and began swimming to shore. She felt someone come up between her legs and within a split second she was on Blake’s shoulders high in the air. She laughed out loud and grabbed his hands that were holding her legs as he walked out of the water onto the dock, “You ready?” He did not wait for a reply and Blake ran down the dock and jumped in the water holding her tightly on his shoulders. When they came up they both laughed. Harper swam towards the dock and climbed up onto it. Blake was right behind her. “We even now?” Harper wrung out her hair and smiled. “Probably not,” Blake smiled, “I have the entire summer to torment you. I gave you the opportunity.” “The entire summer?” “I’m going with your family to South America,” Blake smiled and jumped back in the water and swam to shore.
CHAPTER EIGHT O2 Bound London and Lexington had passed out on Brody’s lap three hours after they arrived at their home in Liverpool. Maddox sat with Emma and Brody in the den talking about plans for the week ahead when Birdie rubbed up against Brody’s leg. “I can't believe you did that to me,” Brody smiled at Emma. “He loves you and look, you don’t even look ill when he comes near you anymore,” Emma picked Lexington up off his lap; “I am going to put her down. Be back in a minute.” Emma disappeared up the stairs, “You seem glad to have them here.” Brody smiled as he lifted London up, “I’ll be back down in a minute.” Maddox grabbed his IPad-- He was so happy that London had set it up for him. He looked at Harper’s social media page. While it was loading he grabbed his phone. - Congratulations Harper Abraham…MH He pushed send and waited for her reply. Harper sat up and grabbed her phone, her stomach did its usual somersault, and she could not stop the grin from spreading across her face. - Thanks Maddox, you too…HA - How was your party?...MH - Good, how was the arrival of the new Queen of England? I miss her…HA - I missed them as well, I am glad they are here, sorry they missed your party… MH Harper was sorry Maddox had missed it, too. - You still there?…MH - Yep. So what have you been up to?...HA - Playing a lot, singing a lot and writing even more. Zach, T and I are looking for a pianist and a band name…MH - What is Zach’s last name?…HA And who the hell is T, she wanted to write. - Taylor why?...MH - Band names, Brody Hines Band. Just trying to brainstorm. What’s T’s last name…HA Harpers page came up, and Maddox was looking trying to open the links to the pictures, but it would not allow him to.
- I am going to send you a friend request would you accept?…MH - I thought we were friends, Maddox…HA - On your page. I sent it it will be from JD anonymous… MH - Oh, give me a minute… I have not been on in weeks…HA Maddox waited until she accepted his request. He clicked on pictures she was tagged in. There were several of prom, one with Carter in the background. Maddox tried to delete it, and it would not allow him to. The next link was of her graduation speech, it was a video and he watched it. Hearing her voice made his chest tighten, a feeling he was not comfortable with. She was beautiful… even more so in that prom gown. He clicked back on the pictures of prom, looking at them dancing. He wished he could see her look at him that way again. - Do you have Skype?...MH - Yes and Facetime do you?...HA - Yeah-- may I Skype you?...MH Harper laughed and sent him a message. - Anytime…HA Her heart beat faster as she went ran into the bathroom and brushed her hair and teeth. She even put on mascara and laughed at herself as she ran into the office so that she could connect with him on her father’s large computer monitor. She messaged him the link and sat back waiting for him. He popped up on the screen, and she could not stop the impending ginormous grin from spreading across her face. “Hello Harper,” he smiled softly. “Hi,” she rolled her eyes and felt her face turning red. “Are you in your father’s office?” “Yep. Where are you?” “In England,” he laughed, “Would you like a tour?” “Yes, please,” Harper sat back in her father’s large leather chair and pulled her knees to her chest. Maddox looked at her and closed his eyes and smiled briefly, “One landmark at a time, alright?” Harper nodded yes. The camera turned to a clock and away from him, “This is Little Ben, Big Ben’s cousin.” Harper laughed, and he quickly turned it around so that he could see her laughing on the screen. He smiled brightly in response to her laugh. “Next time I’ll take you to London’s Bridge, and by that I mean I’ll have London make a bridge-- the actual one is about a five hour drive from here,” Maddox joked. Harper smiled, “Perfect. You look amazing Maddox. Happy.” “You too. I watched your graduation speech.” “Oh great speech, huh? I screwed that up. Wait, who put that on there? I swear I haven't been on in weeks.” Maddox watched as Harper stood and walked away from the computer. “Hey, get back here!” Maddox whispered loudly and laughed. Harper sat down and smiled, “Did you miss me?” “Yeah,” he scowled and widened his eyes, “Crazy.” Harper glanced up at the screen and smiled and looked back down at her laptop, “Now we can look together.” “The graduation video first?” Maddox smiled.
Harper arched her eyebrow, “No thank you, I wonder who put that up. I’ll have to thank…Matthew; I’m going to kick his butt!” “Why, I really thought it was great, Harper.” “It’s been a rough couple weeks.” Maddox looked at some pictures from the party, “You went swimming.” “Yes, of course,” Harper joked. “Nice suit,” Maddox grinned. “Shut up.” “No, it really is quite nice Harper, and hey check that out, which cousin is that?” “Which picture?” “You on someone’s shoulders. Damn you look happy. God Harper, you really are very beautiful,” as soon as the words fell from his lips they both looked back at the screen. She smiled, “Back at you. We’re two beautiful souls, Maddox Hines,” Harper laughed. Maddox blushed and looked back at the pictures, “I like Liam, you two seem very close. But look at you beaming in the shoulder shot, who is that again?” Harper looked through the photos until she came to it, “Oh that’s Matthew’s roommate Blake. He is going to South America with us for the summer. Apparently he is going to be a doctor.” “Have you known him long?” Maddox didn’t look back up at the screen as he continued looking at the photo. “Just met him today. He seems nice,” Harper smiled. “Oh,” Maddox sat back and took a deep breath, “There is a prom picture you were tagged in that dick Carter is in it you should edit him out.” “Oh wow I’ll do that,” Harper looked at the prom pictures and smiled, “Someone took a lot of pictures of us dancing. Should I tag you in them?” “No, did you get that one edited?” Maddox was annoyed. “I’ll do it now, geesh. I was just enjoying our pictures,” she smiled and looked at him on the screen. She reached up and touched the screen moving her thumb up trying to remove the scowl that was formed between his eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked as he looked at his screen now only showing her mouth, her lips. The ones he wanted so badly all the time. Harper sat back, smiled, and looked at him, “Trying to remove that scowl. Did you feel it because apparently it did not work. You’re pouting, Maddox.” “It’s not funny, Harper.” “Sorry.” They sat silently looking at each other for a minute. “Emma sent a gift from us for your graduation,” Maddox finally looked relaxed. “Okay well I need your address so I can send you one,” Harper looked at him sadly. “I don’t know it,” Maddox yawned. “You’re tired,” Harper whispered. “Yes, I had a glass of wine with dinner, and it kicks my ass. Which is good because I can’t normally sleep through the night,” Maddox stopped himself from rambling; she did not need to know about his horrible nightmares. “They let you drink?” Harper was shocked. “The drinking age is eighteen, but it is customary to allow a glass of wine at dinner for someone my age,” Maddox answered, “Hey did you edit that photo, Harper?” “It’s not mine so I couldn’t. I removed the tag though, so it won't be on my page.” “Okay good. I don’t know how that would affect the charges against Carter, but I want them to nail
him,” Maddox sat back and watched as Harper looked down and her lips made an o shape, “Harper, how is that all going?” She looked up, “The lawyers are all working on it,” she whispered. “Explain please,” Maddox sat forward. “Maddox, how am I supposed to ruin someone's future? If everything works out the charges against you will be dropped, and he will have learned his lesson. All he did was try to kiss me and touch my boob. He did not…” “He touched your tits?” Maddox gasped. “Just for a…” “No, they are not his to touch, Harper!” “I know but…” “No buts! Had he not drugged me, and I not left you alone…” “We can't prove he did drug you, Maddox. So all the drama, a trial…” “They were not his to touch. You would have been mine that night, fuck!” Harper started feeling the burn that started in her chest that moved slowly to her throat, and would eventually burn her eyes. A feeling she had known now for a year. “Harper, do you like the fact that he touched you?” “Maddox…” “Your lips were mine, your hugs were mine, your tits, and every other part of your body should have been mine that night. He took that away from both of us.” “Maddox, you said you thought those feelings were because of being drugged.” “I have wanted to be…I have wanted you since our first kiss, Harper. I thought it meant something to you as well. Now he has taken that from me, and you are going to let him walk?” “You are hurting me and making me feel…” “How am I making you feel, Harper?” “You’re gone! I told you I loved you again, and you said you didn’t feel the same. WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT. FROM. ME? Tell me Maddox, just tell me, please!” “I am so angry that I let myself believe these feelings were reciprocated!” “You were the one who said they weren’t! Stop hurting me! The charges being dropped meant that you could come home, Maddox. Maybe that we could try to…” “Try to what? I was trying to make this easy for you! But a picture is worth a thousand words…you were not home, pining away for me. Your crotch was snug up against some stranger’s neck today, and that is unacceptable. Fuck, now I get it.” “Get what? What are you talking about, I don’t even know him, he is…” “Exactly! You don’t know him! You don’t know me enough to say those words either Harper! But shit, he gets you in the water and well, we do know how much you enjoy the water!” Harper started crying, “Oh yes maybe you could use the tears on him as well. That was a nice little trick you used on me, very effective!” “Please stop, please Maddox--- you are just angry and I get it but it’s not you…” “Don’t you pretend to know me!” “Maddox, I love you,” Harper cried. “Don’t say those words to me again, just don’t!” The office door opened, and someone walked behind Harper. “Hey what are you crying for little girl?” Harper wiped her face, “Nothing, I’m not, please just leave.” “Should I get Matthew?” the male voice said softly. “No, please—I’m fine,” Harper hugged her knees and hid her head.
“You don’t need to be alone. Let me get your brother, okay?” He left the room and Harper looked up at the black screen. “God, Maddox, please tell me what to do.” Maddox lifted the IPad to his face, his eyes were blazing and red, “Was that him?” “Maddox, there’s only you. I’m not...” “Was that him?” “It was Matthew’s friend.” “Well he is certainly better for you. I didn’t want to… I will never be who you want me to be.” “You are though.” “You don’t know me, Harper.” “You don’t know yourself.” Maddox’s jaw clenched, and he looked into the screen, “Thanks for that, my little vamp. This is done. I can assure you I will try my damnedest to figure out who exactly I am! Turn around and grab on to that friend of Matthew’s because I know damn well that’s what you want!” “Just stop! Just stop… you’re hurting both of us, and you don’t mean to,” Harper cried. “What the hell is going on, Harper?” Matthew said from behind her. Maddox saw Harper lean forward and touch the computer screen. He watched as Matthew lifted her chin and the other guy knelt down next to her. “It's nothing, please just leave me alone,” Harper wiped her face. “Bullshit, Harper, who were you talking to?” Matthew looked around. Maddox realized that she thought she had shut down their session. “Leave it alone,” Harper started to stand. Matthew stood in front of her. “Let me leave, Matthew,” Harper snapped at him. “It's either me or dad, you decide,” Matthew snapped back. “Fine! I was talking to Maddox on Skype,” Harper said softly. “And he made you cry like this? What is going on with you two?” Matthew demanded. “He thinks I like him,” Harper snapped. “Blake?” Matthew laughed. “Yes. I don't-- I love Maddox,” Harper started to cry again. “Do I know him, was he here?” Blake asked. “Isn't he in England?” Matthew asked. Maddox did not hear her reply. “And you love him?” Matthew laughed. “Yes!” Harper’s voice was loud and clear. “So you love someone who makes you cry like this, Harper? And act like you did at the Cape?” Matthew sounded shocked. Maddox saw her lip stick out and wanted so badly to say he was sorry, to take away what he had said. “This is not love, Harper, this is sadness. He is a fucked up kid...” “You don't know him!” “I know enough to know he has one hell of a road before him; he is hurting you, and making you act like a crazy person! Enough Harper! Don't you see?” “Leave me alone Matthew! Don't worry about it! He doesn't want me anyway! Now get out of my way!” “No, you need to talk to someone about this shit.” “I don't need an audience, Matthew.” “Oh, I apologize. I just... I’m sorry.”
Maddox heard a door shut, goodbye chump. “Harper that was rude,” Matthew scolded her. “So go console him and leave me alone. Why is he here anyway? If he wasn't...” “He is doing a summer internship with dad, trying to get ahead of his education.” “If he didn't come Maddox and I would be...” “What Harper, what would you be? He is a kid who needs to deal with a lot of shit and you are probably the first girl he saw. You need to leave him alone – you’re smarter than this!” “I. Love...” “You’re seventeen and going off to college. He is in England, and has so much to deal with. You were the first girl he saw. Probably the first person who was kind to him aside from his family. That’s a bond, but it’s not love. If it was love it would not hurt you like this.” “I hate you,” Harper said softly. Maddox had never heard her say that to him before. He was shocked. “I know you do. Because you know I am right and because I know you really love me I’ll let it slide. Please Harper, let this go.” “I really don't have a choice. I disgust him.” Matthew laughed, “I doubt that, Harper.” “Yes I do.” Maddox had heard enough, so he shut down the session and the computer. He shook in anger and grabbed his phone and typed ‘mine,’ took a deep breath and threw his phone on the table. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine. He pulled the cork and drank from the bottle and set it down. He placed the cork back in the bottle and went upstairs to bed.
Maddox stood off stage looking at the crowd, holy shit, he thought. He looked at the VIP section hoping she had gotten his gift, and praying she found a way to convince her parents to let her come. He had not talked to her in weeks, not since the fight. He had busied himself with writing; there was no lack of inspiration. He wrote almost a song a day, it was healing. It helped release his pain. Not allowing himself to talk to her made him miss her more. It also made him realize how true his feelings were for her. Maddox had sent three tickets to his first big show to Harper as a graduation present. He knew she would show, she had to. She had not returned the gift, had not defriended him, and he had even liked some of her photos from South America with the dickhead in it. She did not reply, and he was sure she was giving both of them time to heal, to grow, to get to know who they were. He walked on stage with his guitar and waved at the crowd. He looked at T who was beaming, and they both smiled a smile as if to say, “Holy shit we made it.” Zach was playing bass, and he winked at Maddox as he walked to center stage. Maddox leaned into the mic, “Thank you all for coming out tonight,” he yelled and the crowd roared, “I said, Thank you all for coming out tonight!” They screamed louder, “We are Burning Souls!” T tapped his sticks and the music began. And the crowd roared. Maddox wasn’t afraid to look at them like he had been at the waterfront. His fear was that the larger the venue the more anxiety he would feel, and that was absolutely not the case. It was less personal. The stage was elevated and security held back the crowd. The first song was Mad and Twisted a song he had wrote the night he slammed the bottle of wine, the night he fought with Harper. It was an angry “screw you” loud, fast, hard, rock song. The crowd was going crazy and cheering. He was having a great time dancing. Zach was moving as well, getting the
crowd of screaming females even more worked up. The song ended, and Maddox winked at T. “This next song was written a year ago, it’s called Stained. My sister the lovely London Fields will accompany us on keyboard, get out here girl.” The crowd cheered. Waves crash of thunder I run. Inside my mind, I run. Seas grand reflection open the warmth, Undone, undone. Reflecting the love in my soul, burning inside of my soul. The sea whispers softly, no longer hide, Don’t hide, don’t hide, don’t hide, and don’t hide. Washed away by the seas calm, Nurtured by the wind, the sound of her song. Breeze gently holding me high, The weights lightly lifted up to the sky Elevated, raised, floating up high, What remains a stain, just a stain, a stain. Lips touching softly on mine, hidden desperations An Island of questions, my pride, my pride, my pride, my pride. Carried away by the beauty the wind and her tide. Blowing away the hurting, hurting inside. I lay back in comfort drifting I see the beauty the sea has given to me. The sea, the sea, the sea, the sea. Washed away by the seas calm. Nurtured by the wind, the sound of her song. Breeze gently holding me high. The weights lightly lifted up to the sky. Elevated, raised, floating up high, What remains, a stain Just a stain remains. Wash crash of thunder I run. Inside my mind I run. Elevated raised floating up high what remains a stain, just a stain a stain.
“Thank you very much. Now we are going to hand it over to Zach,” Maddox smiled, and Zach took the mic. Maddox and T jammed, and Zach played a few songs he had written when he replaced Brody. Maddox was anxious to know if she had come and he tried to search her out in the crowd. He was pretty sure he saw Matthew and even waved in his direction and Matthew waved back, it has to be him. He saw a blonde that stood near Matthew, but he was not sure. Maddox took back the mic and sang two more songs ending their set. T did a drum solo and threw some sticks in the crowd. “Thank you all for putting up with us tonight,” the crowd started chanting his name and he laughed, “That’s me. Up next is the reason you all actually came, the greatest band ever, with the coolest lead singer in the entire world, my Dad. We will take a short break, and then you can all enjoy The Brody Hines Band!” The crowd chanted his name loudly, and he smiled and threw some guitar picks out. “Hey lighting guy. It seems unfair that they know my name, and I can't even see their faces, do me a favor shine your light down on them!” Maddox looked out into the crowd pretending to wave at the screaming masses. He saw Matthew clearly and that dick from the photos. He saw the blonde wrap her arms around Blake’s neck and kiss him
as he rubbed her back. “Fuck that, you all want some more?” Maddox screamed and held the mic out to them, “I can't hear you!” He gave T and Zach a smile, “Give me just a minute I have to take a piss!” Brody was standing off stage, “You don’t mind do you, Dad?” “No, they love you Maddox, you sure you have another one ready?” “Yeah, where’s London?” “She went back with Emma to wait in the dressing room.” “Perfect, give me a minute,” Maddox walked down the corridor to the bathroom and slammed the door when he went in. “UNBELIEVABLE!” he screamed. “Dude you okay,” one of the stage crew he had seen earlier asked him. Maddox began to piss in the urinal. “What’re you smoking?” “Dude, I am sorry.” “No, is it harsh, I mean can you still function?” “Just some hash, man. You want some?” “Hell yes, but I have another song to do. How much can I smoke and still function?” Maddox took the little black pipe. “First time?” “Yes, I don’t know man a few pulls?” “Okay,” Maddox said and lit it up.
Maddox walked onstage, and the crowd went wild he whispered to T. “You sure?” “Hell yes, she’s here man,” Maddox chuckled immediately feeling the effects of the hash. “Where?” “Right out there making out with the dick from the picture online.” “No way!” “Yeah, let's do this, T,” Maddox laughed. He whispered to Zach, and he looked confused, “Just follow along.” “Alright this is a song I am dedicating to all you girls out there who quickly fall in love. Don’t look for it on our upcoming record it won't be on it,” Maddox laughed and T started tapping his sticks. Hey little girl, yeah you right there, the one in the short skirt and the long blonde hair. I'm the one who you were moaning my name. Whose that dude, yeah what’s his name? You don’t know, what you mean he’s just a guy, the one who just had his hands rubbing up your thigh. Look at me girl; you remember this, the one who just left to take a piss. I remember you girl your ass so tight, pulling me down begging for just one night, Please Maddox please, you know how I feel, you feel it too so what’s your deal? I’ll never stop wanting you, I love you too, please don’t leave me Maddox boo hoo, hoo, hoo. So quick to forget, out of sight out of mind. I agree when those fools say love is blind Sit still little girl I got something for you, sit and watch me baby this shits for you.”
T played the drums as Maddox pointed to a girl in the front row and curled his finger to her. She mouthed me? He winked and nodded his head yes.
“Hey make sure she's of age and bring her up,” Maddox yelled to the buff security guard. She stood in front of him and he breathed hard into the mic and started again. Look but don’t touch baby I wanna show you stuff, I promise once you see you’ll never get enough.
He pulled his shirt off and the crowd screamed as T played a beat. He looked at the girl and winked as he ran his hands slowly down his hard defined abs. You like it girl see these abs do you feel the need; hey check the V baby girl, leading to my seed.
He walked slowly to her and unbuttoned the top button of his jeans, chewed the bottom of his lip, winked, and continued singing. He stood back just as she reached to touch him. Fuck you, I don’t think so. Fuck you, you, I don’t think so. You’re such a tease, dirty little -tease. Fuck you, I don’t think so. Fuck you, you I don’t think so. You’re such a tease, dirty little -tease. Get down on your knees, wanna hear you and groan- please. Fuck you, you I don’t think so. Fuck you I don’t think so. You’re such a tease, dirty little -tease. Fuck you, you I don’t think so. You’re such a tease, nothing but a -tease. Down on your knees Begging me please, please.
He pulled the girl up off her knees, “Thanks for playing along, I’ll make sure to get you an autograph.” “I would settle for a kiss,” she smiled. “Alright then,” Maddox pulled her up against him and kissed her hard on the mouth. “We square?” She nodded and screamed. The crowd went nuts. Maddox smiled at her and kissed her cheek, “Thanks again.” “Goodnight everyone!” Maddox dropped the microphone and walked off stage. He turned and watched T laughing as he walked followed him. “Holy shit, Maddox! That was awesome!” T hugged him quickly. “What the hell was that?” Zach asked trying not to laugh. “A new love song, you like it?” Maddox patted his back. Maddox looked up, and Brody was standing with his arms crossed across his chest. “What the hell was that, Maddox?” Brody asked without expression. “Did you like it?” “Really a song called Fuck You?” Brody raised his eyebrow. “And making out with a fan onstage?” Maddox grabbed a ball cap and pulled it down low, “I was pissed at…” “Harper?” Brody asked. “Yes!” Maddox snapped. “Really because she is right over there,” Brody pointed towards Emma. “And I thought you were friends. It has been two months since you have even talked to her.” “What’s it matter? She was out there sucking some dickheads face off at a show I was performing at! Kind of fucking rude!” “She has been back here the whole time. Matthew and a couple of his friends were out there, Maddox,” Brody quietly scolded him. Maddox was shocked, “I saw her!” “No, you didn’t. She and London have been back here the entire time. Regardless, as your friend I’m sure it’s no big deal to her how you act, right Maddox? Wish me luck, I’m up.” Brody smiled sadly. “Good luck, Dad.”
Brody walked on stage, and the crowd went wild. “Hello, London!” T looked at Maddox and started laughing, “You fucked up.” “Shut up, T.” “Maddox are you crying?” T stopped laughing. “No, why?” Maddox laughed. “Your eyes man…did you do something, like smoke pot?” “Hash, one of the stage crew was in the bathroom smoking.” “So you just smoked shit with him?” “Yeah, I did,” Maddox laughed, “And then I made out with a fan.” “Fucking Rock Stars,” T laughed. “Hey there’s a really hot blonde over there. Do you mind if I go try to get her on her knees?” “You’re an asshole,” Maddox looked towards Harper. Harper saw him look at her and turned to Emma, “I’m going to say hello and then go find Matthew. It was nice seeing you.” “Stay with us tonight. London would love it.” Emma hugged her. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Harper smiled sadly. “Hey Harper,” Maddox walked up and stuck his hand out to shake hers. Harper smiled and shook his hand. “Good show.” Maddox laughed and so did T. “Maddox is that polite?” Emma scolded him. “Sorry. Harper this is T. He’s the drummer,” Maddox shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched. “You did a great job, T. Nice to meet you,” Harper smiled and stuck her hand out to shake his hand. He pulled her in and hugged her tightly, “Nice to put a face to the name.” “Yeah, I bet,” Harper whispered. “He thought you were…” “Alright T let her go, Harper, can I have a moment alone?” Maddox asked. “I’m going to get going. Matthew and his friends are waiting,” Harper smiled. “They aren't staying to watch dad, Harper? Just give me ten damn minutes,” Maddox snapped. “Maddox, that’s enough,” Emma looked at him, “What is going on with you tonight?” “Sorry, it’s just… Harper, please,” Maddox squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay, but then I need to get back to them.” Maddox took her hand and started to walk towards the dressing room, she pulled it away slowly, and he stopped and looked at her. “I’m following you, lead the way,” Harper forced a smile. They walked into the room, and he shut the door behind her. He looked in the mirror quickly and noticed he was still shirtless, and his pants were undone. He took his hat off and put both hands on the counter and leaned down with his head hung in shame. “Harper about tonight; I thought you were with the douche bag, making out with him in the audience,” Maddox turned around and looked at her. Harper smiled, “What he does is not my business, Maddox. He’s my friend. That’s it.” “And then that song, Harper, I’m so sorry,” Maddox looked up at her through his thick black eyelashes. “What can I do to make it up to you?” Harper looked at him, and her voice was soft and sad. “What you do is not my business either.” “Bullshit, Harper!” Maddox snapped and grabbed her face, “I call bullshit!” She froze and looked at him, “It’s not bull…” He leaned in and kissed her lips lightly, and she moved her face quickly away. “Please don’t do that again,” Harper’s eyebrows crept up and he closed his eyes and pulled her into a hug, “Maddox, please let go of me.”
He stepped back and looked at her, “Why did you even fucking come? I mean if I meant nothing to you why did you even bother?” Harper blinked rapidly fighting tears, “I don’t know.” She turned for the door, and he quickly ran in front of it, blocking her exit, “Don’t leave. Please don’t leave.” “Maddox are you on something?” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Your eyes are red. Are you on drugs, or have you been drinking?” “What the hell does that have anything to do with?” “If you’re not thinking clearly, you should just not say anything, Maddox. We’ve been through this.” “Did you hear Stained, Harper?” “Please Maddox,” her voice shook, “I really want to be your friend. I came here tonight as your friend.” Maddox’s heart began to beat hard and he panicked “I smoked hash tonight. I drink every night before bed,” he looked up at her. “I have nightmares every night if I don’t.” Harper wiped tears off her cheek. “I don’t deserve you in any form; friend or…I just don’t deserve you.” Harper squatted down in front of him. “You need to tell Brody and Emma so they can find someone to…” “No, I don’t and neither do you!” “What kind of friend would I be if I did not try to help you, Maddox?” “Stay with me and watch my father. Stay tonight with us—please, Harper?” “I don’t think…” “The bozo can stay too.” “The bozo has a name.” “Fine Blake can stay too.” “His parents have a house about two hours away. That’s where we’re staying.” “Harper please stay tonight…for London?” “That’s pretty low, Maddox.” He shrugged, “I’ll do whatever it takes and whatever you ask. Just please don’t walk away from me after what I just did. If you leave, I know I will never see you again. If you stay, I know that I still have my friend.” “You have me as a friend Maddox, regardless of where I stay.” “So you won't stay with me? Just one night, Harper? Please.” He looked into her eyes, and she looked incredibly sad and confused. He knew that look; he had seen it in several dozen girls before. He felt sick to his stomach. He had seen her angry and hurt before. But tonight he crossed a line. He was no better than the pig or Carter. The difference was he once had her love. He had her heart and her trust. “If you promise me one thing, Maddox, just one thing.” “Anything.” “You tell your father and Emma what you told me. You tell them you are having dreams and that you’re drinking and smoking things to get through it.” He saw hope in her eyes, “Sure.” “Alright let’s get out there and watch your dad.” Harper stood and offered him her hand. She pulled him up and let go of his hand, “Let's go.” Matthew was less than excited about Harper staying with Maddox even though he knew how excited London would be. If it wasn’t for her, he would have dragged Harper out of there, and Maddox knew it. Matthew gave him a look, one meant for intimidation. Little did he know Maddox had faced worse looks
in his lifetime, so he was not at all afraid of Matthew. He was only afraid of hurting Harper even more.
Maddox was standing in front of the fireplace in his pajama pants when Harper walked down the stairs. He smiled at her, “Can’t sleep?” “I was thirsty, and London’s finally asleep,” Harper looked at the fire. “What would you like to drink, Harper?” “Water, but I can get it,” Harper started walking in the wrong direction, and he grabbed her hand and chuckled. She started to pull it away, but he held it tighter, “You’re going the wrong way. And please, Harper, we have held hands since forever. Please don’t take that away from me.” Harper scowled at him, and he dropped her hand instantly. “I am trying really hard here, Maddox.” “I know.” “Okay, show me to the kitchen.” Maddox poured two glasses of water and handed her one and leaned against the counter and drank his. He watched her the entire time. “I am really sorry about the show, Harper. I thought you were with him, I thought you brought him to the concert and thoroughly disregarded how I may feel if I saw you making out with him.” “I completely understand how that may be incredibly uncomfortable,” she tried hide the sarcasm in her voice. He took a step toward her, “I need to ask you for one thing, Harper. Please kiss me, like before. Just once. I screwed up. I never will again. Just please.” “Maddox, you’re high.” “No, actually-- that shit wears off… fast,” Maddox grabbed her hand and walked back into the den. “We don’t want this. We are too young and going in two different directions. Just let it go. That’s what you have told me for a year. That’s what you showed me tonight. Please don’t fight with me, please.” “One kiss Harper, one of choice and desire. Like before, not what I did tonight. Your kiss, Harper.” “Maddox, I’m going to bed.” “No,” he set his hands on the sides of the chair capturing her, “One. Kiss.” “Will it be enough then?” “What do you mean?” “Can I go to bed then?” “If that’s what you want.” “Go ahead,” Harper closed her eyes and he held her face in his hands. “This is home Harper, right here this close to you makes me feel like I am at home,” he ran his nose up the side of her face slowly and then rubbed it across hers. He opened his eyes, and saw hers were not closed anymore. The desire he had not only seen but felt from her every time they were close was gone. Completely and utterly gone. He stepped towards her and grabbed her pulling her into him. He held her and rubbed her back. “Please just relax, Harper.” He stood back and looked at her and leaned in, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll be right back… please sit I won't be long.” Maddox walked into the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine. He started to replace the cork and stopped. He lifted the bottle to his lips and drank from it. He took another drink, this time longer until the bottle was gone. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He returned to the den, and she was sitting on the edge of the couch.
He knelt down in front of her, “Here Harper, this will help you relax.” “Maddox… I’m eighteen,” Harper sat back away from him. “Perfect, that’s legal here,” he smiled and took a drink from his glass, “It’s very good.” “I don’t drink,” Harper forced herself to look away from him. “Fine, I just thought…” “Thought what--- if I drank I would forget?” “Maybe…maybe you’d forgive me. I don’t know, Harper. I just don’t like to see you so uptight,” Maddox finished his glass and set it down. “I forgive you,” she scowled briefly, “Maddox; it’s really not a big…” “Get pissed at me, Christ Harper! Yell at me!” “Why?” She was too calm, and it infuriated him, “That’s what you do Harper, when I am an ass or screw up you yell, and you get pissed off! Tell me you hate me!” “Shh, you are going to wake everyone.” “Then say it-- say you hate me!” “I don’t hate you Maddox. You can do whatever…” “I need you to hate me, damn it!” “Why? Why do you need me to hate you?” “TELL ME YOU HATE ME!” Harper tried to stand, and he stood in front of her with his arms crossed. “Please move.” “NO, not until you act like you give a shit! You told me you loved me. You came tonight! I fucked up! TELL ME YOU HATE ME!” “No, I don’t hate you, you jackass,” Harper hissed at him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Please move!” “NO!” Brody and Emma ran down the stairs and into the den, “What the hell is going on?” Maddox glared at Harper, “Tell me.” Harper looked at Emma her face turned red, “Maddox, please move.” “Not until you say it,” he growled. “Maddox move, let her by,” Brody grabbed his arm, and he yanked it away. “Have you been drinking?” Emma picked up the glasses that sat on the floor next to Maddox feet. “Nope,” Maddox glared at Harper. Harper was angry, “You said…” “Shut up, Harper,” Maddox snapped. “That’s enough, Maddox,” Brody grabbed his arm and Maddox tried to pull it away again, but Brody held it tighter. “Let go of my fucking arm, Brody!” “Brody?” “That’s your name isn't it?” Brody was crushed, “Yes, it is, Maddox, I’m pretty sure you’re drunk. You need to get your ass upstairs and sleep it off.” “Not until she says it!” “Maddox, please don’t.” Harper began to shake as she watched Maddox try to free his arm. “Say it and I’ll leave you alone. Just FUCKING say it!” “Say I hate you? That’s what you want?” “Yes!”
“Maddox stop. Just go to bed okay?” Emma pleaded. “Fuck you too!” “And that’s enough!” Brody dragged him out the back door. “Leave me alone!” “Maddox, I don’t know what has…” “She has! Why the hell did she come here?”
Emma sat on the couch with Harper and held her hand. “I am so sorry.” “Its fine,” Harpers voice cracked, and she began to cry. “It is not fine, Harper. His behavior today has been unacceptable.” Emma hugged her, and they sat on the couch quietly. “He has nightmares every night,” Harper whispered and wiped her face. Maddox laughed when he walked through the door with Brody. “And there you go; should have never trusted a word you said.” Harper looked up at him sadly, “I’m so sorry.” “Is it true?” Brody asked. “No,” Maddox laughed, “All the love I have felt since you pulled me from hell has been all that I have needed to get over fifteen years of pain. And you all think I am fucked up! Well, you're all delusional!” “Brody, please just get Maddox to bed. He will feel better…” “And you win the crown, Queen of Butterflies and Rainbows.” Maddox laughed, and Brody walked him to the stairs, “Goodnight, Harper, my bewitching little vamp!” “Enough,” Brody snarled. “Oh, is this where you throw me back to the wolves, Brody?” “I would never do that Maddox, and you should know that at this point.” “Emma, I’m fine, just go with them, please,” Harper whispered, “I’m going to go to bed.” “You are sure you’re okay?” “Yes.”
Maddox woke, and the room was still moving like it was before he blacked out. He looked around, and Brody was asleep in a chair in the corner of his room. He remembered O2, and that Harper was there. He crept out of his room. Everything was spinning-- he was still drunk. He held his hand on the wall to steady himself as he staggered slowly down the hall until he came to her door. He opened it slowly and stumbled in, closing the door behind him. He crawled into bed next to her and pulled her back to his chest, and she woke, “Please, Maddox.” “Shh, shhh, shhh,” he rubbed her back lightly, “I am so sorry.” “Stop saying that, it isn’t a big deal okay. You should…” “I am staying here,” he spoke slowly and softly into her ear, “I’ll make sure you feel safe tonight.” He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly and let out a soft moan, “See, it will be okay.”
“You should go back.” “No, I should be right here.”
Maddox woke confused. He sat up and looked around. She was here…wasn’t she? He walked down the stairs, and Brody and Emma were sitting in the den. He looked at them, hung his head in shame, and walked into the kitchen. She wasn’t there…so he continued walking around until every room was searched. Maddox walked into the den and looked at Brody and Emma, “I know I screwed up last night, I don’t remember everything, but I know I owe you both an apology. I know I owe Harper one as well. She leaves today, so if you could tell me where she is I could…” “Matthew picked her up a couple hours ago,” Brody looked at him. “Oh,” Maddox sat down and held his head in his hands. No one said a word. His heart began to beat harder, and he finally looked up at them. “Did she say anything?” he whispered. “Just that she wanted to leave. We offered to take her, and she wanted Matthew. She was upset.” “What happened?” Maddox scowled and clenched his fist as he looked down. “You were drunk. You demanded that she tell you that she hated you,” Brody sounded hurt, and Maddox looked up at him, “Why do you want that and why the hell have you kept it a secret that you have dreams every night? You need to talk to someone Maddox; we obviously are not helping you.” “How did I end up in there, in the bed?” “I woke, and you were gone, Maddox.” “Then what Dad?” Maddox was getting upset. “When I woke I found you in there. You were asleep she was not…” “Did I hurt her?” “She was very upset,” Brody began, and Maddox stood and ran up the stairs. He grabbed his phone and tried to call her. Brody walked in his room as Maddox threw his phone against the wall and it smashed into pieces. “Maddox…” “Did I hurt her?” “She didn’t say so.” “I need to talk to her!” “She is on a flight right now Maddox. And you don’t need to talk to her. You need to focus on getting help, getting better.” Maddox walked past him and down the stairs. He grabbed Emma’s hand and walked out the door. He shut the door behind them. “What did she say? I need to know what happened,” Brody walked out the door, and Maddox squatted on the ground. “She said you have been drinking a lot. She said she was sorry. She is blaming herself, Maddox. You need to leave her alone,” Emma knelt in front of him, “She is hurt, and so are you. Let it be.” Maddox looked at her expressionless. He stood slowly and walked into the back garden and raised his hands in the air and screamed. Emma and Brody stood and watched him holding hands tightly as he crumbled before them.
CHAPTER NINE Home Harper sat on the plane with her ear buds firmly in place. She closed her eyes but could not erase the images of Maddox: on stage, or Maddox yelling at her, begging for her to tell him she hated him, or him coming into the guest room. She knew she would never forget Maddox holding her so tightly against him, or what he had said to her as he held her. And she would never be able to forget what happened after. She thumbed through her music and wanted to scream. Every song reminded her of him. Everything did. She felt tears falling down her face and pulled her hood over her head and cinched it tightly so no one should see her crying. She opened her eyes as Blake was laying a blanket over her. She closed them, and he patted her shoulder and sat across the aisle from her. She must have fallen asleep because she jumped when Matthew sat down next to her. He turned on the television, and an entertainment news program was showing clips of the concert. She heard Brody’s raspy voice and turned and looked. Matthew put his arm around her and pulled her head against his shoulder. The screen changed to Maddox on stage and of all songs it was Stained. His voice was deep like Brody’s, but it was not raspy. It was gentle, smooth, and sexy as hell. If you could touch his voice it would be smooth like ice, but warm. Harper felt her face heating up. As if anyone can hear my thoughts! She looked up at Matthew anyway just to be sure, and he kissed the top of her head and pulled her tighter. She glanced at Blake, and he was looking at her as if he could tell what she was thinking. He smiled slightly and sat back. And then that song started. Harper stood up and started to walk towards the bathroom. Blake grabbed her hand, “Harper…” She pulled her hand away and walked into the bathroom, closed the door, and cried. Eventually the tears stopped. She was sure there were no more left. There was a tap at the door, and Harper wiped her face and looked in the mirror. Looking like crap, Harper, she thought as she cupped water and splashed her face. She opened the door and Blake was standing in the doorway, “Matthew fell asleep, we should be landing soon.” He didn’t move; he just looked at her. She looked down away from him, and he still didn’t move, “Blake, we should probably sit…” Blake grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his arms and held her. Tears immediately fell; and he rubbed her back gently, “I’m sorry I did this to you.” Harper's body shook, and he held her tighter, “I am so…” Harper looked up at him, and she began laughing. He looked confused, and she laughed some more. “I am SO sick of people saying that to me,” she stepped back and looked up at him. “I don’t understand,” Blake was confused. “You didn’t do this,” Harper stopped laughing and looked up at him, “It’s a stupid crush. We were stupid. Seriously, what was I thinking? We live in different countries, we are both so young, he is going to be seventeen, and I am eighteen.” Harper twirled her hair in her fingers and looked up at him, “How old are you Blake?” “Twenty,” he answered softly. “How long have you and the girl from last night been together?” Harper whispered back. “It was a date; we have known each other for…” Harper stepped towards him and he stopped talking.
She looked up at him, “Just a date, not a girlfriend?” His mouth opened slightly, and he nodded his head slowly up and down. “Good to know,” Harper smiled, “Excuse me.” He let out a breath and stepped back. She started to walk by, and he grabbed her hand, “Harper, what the hell was that?” “What?” “That, I don’t know?” he scowled. “I am curious about dating and relationships and I really don’t want to talk about it,” Harper walked away.
The plane landed, and CJ, Tessa and Collin met them on the airstrip. They had not planned on visiting the small community outside of Arlit in Niger West Africa, but it was necessary. Harper welcomed the work. Instead of spending the traditional two weeks at the Cape they would spend one week to end the summer before heading into her first year in college. In February, the President of the United States sent one hundred troops into Niger’s capital Niamey, to set up a base which would house unarmed predator aircrafts to conduct surveillance in the surrounding areas. It was necessary after the neighboring country of Mali was overtaken by militants and terrorists. French and African troops re-took the northern cities of Timbuktu, Kidal and Goa making it safer in Arlit, but over two thousand militia and terrorists were now hiding in the Desert Mountains. The United States deployed soldiers to partner with the British, French, and African troops against the threats of suicide bombers and terrorist attacks on civilians. Collin did not get wrapped up in politics. He was however, concerned that the community he built before being married and having a family, would crumble. Tomas had spent two weeks prior to their arrival in the community, just to ensure they would be safe. Collin and his family would be there to help ease the fears of the people they supported who had become self-reliant over the past twenty years. The drone planes flying overhead made them nervous. Collin’s concern was that they would somehow be swayed to join the militia and terrorist cells which would cause the people of the community to lose everything they worked so hard to achieve. Harper stepped off the plane and pulled her sunglasses down standing still for a few moments, taking in the dry one hundred and eight degree temperature. She immediately missed the wet smell in England. The smell when the rain first hits the ground, and magnifies the green earth’s smell. The desert smelled of dust. Dust reminded her of death and death reminded her of endings. She tilted her head back basking in the heat and thought; this may be the perfect place to be at the perfect moment in time. Tessa hugged her son and then Blake. They unloaded the cargo area under the private planes belly and loaded its contents into the Jeeps waiting to take them back to Altri. They waited for Harper to come down the stairs. Tessa hugged her tightly, “I love you.” “I love you,” Harper smiled when she pulled back, “I have to talk to you about something.” “Emma called, and I am ready to listen. Let’s get back to base.” Tessa and Harper held hands as they walked to the Jeep.
PART TWO
CHAPTER TEN One Year Maddox walked onstage at O2. It was Burning Souls first headline show, of their European tour. “How are you all doing tonight?” Brody and Emma stood off the wing, smiling. It had been one hell of a year. It took Maddox three months, seven shattered phones, and a lot of time at the gym before he finally started acting like himself again. It took the entire European tour before it appeared he may ever let anyone in. And three more months to see the excitement in the eyes of a battered boy who had never truly lived, who was now living the dream of millions, on auto-pilot. Brody kissed Emma, “Look at him.” “What a change,” Emma rubbed Brody’s back. “Thank God,” Brody laughed. “This is good. I just hope he keeps pushing forward. There are times when he looks so happy, like when he and T are sitting at the waterfront…” “Trolling,” Brody laughed. “What does that mean?” “Em, they’re checking out the ladies.” Emma scowled, “No they are not, he is…” “Remember the stages, Love? One man show…” “Yes I remember Brody, but he skipped that one,” Emma laughed. “Oh Em, you just can’t see it because you’re a Mommy,” Brody laughed at her. “So he,” Emma stopped and looked up at him, “He has had sex?” “Pretty sure,” Brody smiled proudly. “That’s not okay!” Emma snapped. “He is almost eighteen and…” “So what! You should not be…” Brody put his hand over her mouth, “Let me finish, Love,” Emma bit his hand, and he let out a dark laugh, “You ready for me to drag your ass to the dressing room, Em? You know what that does to me.” Emma scowled at him, and he laughed, “How will you feel when it’s London or Lexington?” Brody’s jaw flexed, “See!” He grabbed her and pulled her tightly against him, “Not the same.” “Is so!” Emma tried to push him away. “They will never know what he has known, Emma,” Emma looked up at him, and her expression changed, “Do you see now? He is not disgusted by it anymore. I am absolutely thrilled that he has gotten through that. I am also pleased that he is no longer smashing phones to stop himself from calling or texting Harper. I was very concerned that he would be too possessive when it came to relationships and that he would crumble when he suffered each heartbreak. I am elated that he has bonded with T and Zach, building relationships. Not just that… I caught him tossing off, or when I saw him getting a blowjob in Germany or…” “And you didn’t tell me?” “He doesn’t know I know, or at least… he isn’t sure I know.” “Is he using protection?”
“I gave him condoms he told me he was not ready for that.” “He said that?” “Yep.” “And you believe him?” “Not one bit. But what can we do?” “I don’t know maybe talk about it?” “You mad at me, Em?” “Actually, yes.” He lifted her chin so that she was looking at him, “How mad?” “Enough that this…is not going to work.” “That’s not what your eyes are saying, Love.” “Knock it off, watch the show.”
Maddox, T and Zach walked off the stage sweating and smiling. “That was unbelievable,” T grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat off his head. “Yeah it was! Di d you see those girls in the front?” Maddox laughed. “How could you miss them? They threw bras on the stage the first song. Every time you walked to the front of the stage they gave you a peep show,” Zach laughed. “Nice tits too,” Maddox wiggled his eyebrows. Brody and Emma walked up to them, “Great job you guys did out there.” “Yes, you did amazing.” “You have to say that,” Maddox laughed. “When you’re ready to head back to the hotel we will be in in the car with the girls,” Brody patted his back. “Hey Dad, T and I were thinking about going out for a bit is that alright?” Maddox grabbed a towel. “There is a club next to the hotel,” Emma said quickly, “Come with us, shower and change?” T smiled, and Maddox, “Of course, that sounds great.” “We have autographs to sign,” T nodded to the group of fans waiting. “We will wait, T,” Emma smiled politely. “Thanks Mrs. Hines,” T hugged her.
Maddox and T walked into the dressing room, Zach bailed with this week’s girlfriend. Surge was huge-- six foot four, and completely ripped. T and Maddox often laughed about the fact that he even had muscles on his muscles. He was their body guard, one of the only reasons Brody and Emma gave them any privacy at all. “Same thing tonight?” “Same thing,” Maddox smiled, “Just give us ten minutes before you send anyone in.” T grabbed a bowl out of his bag, and they both hit it several times. They opened the window and turned on the fan allowing the smoke to empty out of it.
“Beer?” T offered. “Please,” Maddox flopped back on the couch and relaxed. T handed him a beer and walked to the other side of the room and sat in a chair, “I’m exhausted.” “You’re high,” Maddox chuckled. “Yeah I am,” T laughed as he dropped Visine into his eyes and then tossed it to Maddox, “To think I never wanted to try this shit. You’re a bad influence, Hines.” “Nobody twisted your arm, T.” “I’m joking.” Two by two fans entered the room, and Maddox and T signed autographs, took pictures, listened to how awesome they were and when Maddox tilted his head to the left Surge would tell them it was time to leave. “Maddox, they were kind of hot,” T complained. “No, not really.” “Why cause they weren’t blonde?” “Shut up, T.” The next two girls that walked in were both blonde and T laughed out loud. Maddox nodded right. “Did you enjoy the show?” Maddox gave a sexy, half smile. They both answered yes. “You two old enough for a drink?” Maddox stood and looked at Surge who nodded, and Maddox handed them a drink. “Guitar or drums?” T asked leaning forward as he looked the shorter one up and down very slowly. Maddox sat on the couch and drank his beer as the taller blonde sat next to him. Her hand was on his thigh and moving up, she leaned towards him to kiss him, and he smiled and slowly shook his head no. He smiled at her and leaned back. Her hand worked its way up, rubbing him through his jeans. He reached down and squeezed her breast through her shirt, and she moaned and released him from his jeans and stroked him as he leaned back and watched the back of her head as she took him in her mouth. Her hair was too wavy, not like Harper’s. He closed his eyes and leaned back and took another drink as she sucked harder and faster.
Maddox and T sat in the club’s VIP area, Surge stood in front of their corner table. They ordered drinks and sat back, still buzzing. “We need to decide on a keyboard player, someone that will be part of our band,” T took a drink. “I know,” Maddox looked out over the crowd. “So what’s wrong with Robert?” “Seems like a douche bag.” “Care to elaborate?” “The way he looks at the fans, the girls in particular.” “So he would fit right in,” T teased. Maddox looked at T and shook his head, “No, he looks like he would… never mind.” “Maddox, was that you and I back there getting blow jobs in your dressing room?” “Yes. But they were of age and certainly not looking for anything lasting, or they would have been out.” “So that’s how you choose?”
Maddox looked at T and rolled his eyes. “What if I wanted to start dating one of the fans?” “Go ahead, just watch your ass,” Maddox smiled, “You really think you want a girlfriend?” “I don’t know, maybe someday. You don’t?” “No,” Maddox finished his drink, “This is fine for now.” “Blow jobs are enough?” T asked. “Is this shit going to get deep? Because I am tired.” “You would not want to wake up to that chick in the morning?” Maddox laughed, “She wouldn’t do.” “Why not?” “She’s a Hoover.” “A what?” T laughed. “Hoover…sucked hard and fast just to get the job done. Like she’s cleaning a carpet.” T laughed, “Okay this is an interesting conversation. What about the chick from Germany?” “Yanker, I swear she was going to pull my dick off,” Maddox took a drink and chuckled. “Russia?” “Women are starving up there. I was afraid she was going to suck my insides out. I was long done filling her mouth and she just kept sucking. I honestly had to say ‘Thanks I’m done.’ And she didn’t understand a thing I was saying,” Maddox and T laughed. “How about the droolers?” Maddox laughed, “Saliva stains on your pants suck.” “Oh, how about the chick that spits in her hand and rubbed it all over you, I almost pissed in her friend’s mouth I was laughing so hard at the disgust on your face.” “I had to fake cum,” Maddox laughed. “How in the hell did you pull that off?” “Told her my shit was so pure she couldn’t even taste it and played with her tits, so she didn’t feel bad.” Maddox and T laughed, “The lollipop gang?” “No shit what is up with that? They just lick which I have to admit builds the excitement but seriously suck a dick already.” T laughed, “Might be sick, but I like to watch them gag. At first I felt bad, but she just kept going like it was her job to beat the shit out of her tonsils with my dick.” “That’s sick, T.” “So what do you prefer?” “I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I find it.” T laughed, and Maddox looked at him, “Harper… Are you waiting for that?” “No, I screwed that up.” “Fix it,” T waved for the waitress to refill their drinks. “Not going to happen. I have to piss.” Maddox stood up and made his way to the bathroom. He passed by the bar, and a dark haired girl caught his eye. He slowed his pace down to check her out. Dark hair was not his thing, but this girl seemed different. She did not look at him like he was an object of her rock star fantasies… she looked at him like she was trying to figure out the same thing he was. He stopped, and T bumped into him. “I thought we were going to…” T followed his line of vision, “Not your type Maddox, not blonde.” Maddox looked away briefly and saw Surge watching him. He titled his head right and followed T to the bathroom. “She was hot, huh?” T asked as he stood at the urinal.
“She was…I don’t know, different,” Maddox looked confused. “Maybe you’re the one wanting a girlfriend,” T laughed. “I’m tired T, I’m going to take off,” Maddox zipped up and washed his hands. “I’m going to hang out awhile,” T shook off and laughed. “Might want to put that away,” Maddox patted his back and walked out the door. Maddox walked towards the bar and Surge pointed to the door, Maddox nodded and walked outside. Surge opened the door, and Maddox slid in the back of the limo. He sat and stared at the woman with black hair and deep brown eyes. She was petite and very pretty. “Could I get you a drink?” Maddox asked, pouring himself a glass of scotch from the limo’s well stocked bar. “Do you think I’ll need one?” “I think I am going to need two for this,” he tossed back the drink and poured two glasses. “Yeah, I think you will.” She smiled at him and took the glass and drank it down fast, “Fill it up?” “Of course,” Maddox smiled.
Maddox walked into the hotel lobby, and she followed him. “I need a room.” “Of course, Mr. Hines,” the concierge quickly entered the information he already had and handed Maddox a room key. She looked around and saw people staring, and he saw how uncomfortable she looked. He took her hand. “You alright?” She swallowed hard and nodded her head yes, “Good, let’s get upstairs.” They stepped into the empty elevator and rode in silence to the fifteenth floor. The elevator stopped, and she followed him to the hall. He swiped the key, and they entered. He walked to the well-stocked mini bar and poured them both a drink and handed her the glass, “I’m sure there are robes in the bathroom-- why don’t you shower while I make a couple calls? I’ll be right here when you’re done.” She nodded her head yes and walked into the bathroom. Maddox picked up his phone and sent a text to Surge instructing him to grab some clothes for the lady. She walked out of the bathroom wearing the fluffy white hotel robe, he looked up from his phone, and she smiled at him. She slowly untied the robe and let it slip down her body. Maddox closed his eyes and sat back, “I have had a lot to drink tonight.” “Me too,” she started walking towards him and there was a knock at the door. Maddox stood and grabbed her robe, “Put this on and go into the bathroom.” He opened the door, and Surge handed him a bag, “This is all I could get.” “I’m sure it’s fine for now. No one needs to know where I am,” Maddox looked at him, and he nodded his head in agreement. Maddox looked in the bag as he walked towards the bathroom. He grabbed the hooded sweatshirt and a pair of his boxer briefs out of the bag and tapped on the door. She opened it and stood naked in front of him. “Here, this is all I could get tonight, I’ll get more in the morning,” Maddox turned, and she grabbed his hand. He did not turn around, “It’s late and I’m tired. Get dressed and we’ll get some sleep.” “Is that what you want?” “Yes.”
Maddox woke to his father yelling at Surge. He stood up and walked to the door and opened it. Brody pushed through the door and began pacing back and forth. Maddox knew he was angry, livid actually, and he was trying to calm himself down. Brody took several deep breaths and stopped and looked at Maddox before continuing to pace. The bedroom door opened, and she walked out in a Burning Souls t-shirt and Maddox’s boxers. Brody’s jaw dropped, and he looked at Maddox. She walked over and stood behind him, frightened by the storm before her, Brody. “You and I need to goddamned talk!” “Fine,” Maddox turned around and whispered in her ear. She shook her head quickly back and forth in disagreement before finally walking back into the bedroom and shutting the door. Brody stood with his arms crossed in front of him, “We have been worried sick!” “Dad, I am almost…” “Don’t! Don’t you act like I’m being overprotective Maddox, not after everything we have ALL gone through!” “Okay, I’m sorry. But I need you to know that I’ll be eighteen very soon. I will be looking for a place of my own and…” “What?” Brody gasped. “We have only had you for two years Maddox, you’re not ready!” “No, Dad, I don’t think you are ready. I’m going to be just fine.” “When she leaves, you and I will discuss this. Then you can have that conversation with Emma and London. I don’t care what you think Maddox, you are not ready. You’re being led around by your dick!” “Dad, don’t.” “Don’t what, Maddox. I was young and single once. I know exactly…” “It’s not the same.” Brody looked at Maddox’s expressionless face. He felt sick to his stomach, angry and hurt. “Get rid of her and get your ass back to our suite!” Brody stormed to the door. He stopped and looked at Surge, “I don’t care who the fuck you’re protecting here, but when I call--- you answer. Do you fucking understand me?” Surge looked at him and said nothing. “Keep your shit up and you’ll be unemployed! And then it will be my life’s work to see that you don’t have a job doing anything other than asking if they want fries with that. DO you fucking understand ME?” “Dad…” “What? We love you! We want you to be okay and this is not okay!” “I love you too,” Maddox stood up and looked at Brody and then walked into the bedroom. “Look at me, motherfucker,” Brody sneered, “I don’t care how big you are, your ass will fall just like anyone else’s. This is not a threat. If I call, you better damn well answer by the third ring and answer whatever I ask, or it’s you and me.” Brody slammed the door behind him and paced back and forth. He reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone. “Em, get your parents to take the girls to breakfast. I need you,” Brody hung up the phone and walked to the elevator.
CHAPTER ELEVEN Moving On Harper closed the last cardboard box in her now empty apartment in downtown Ithaca. She had done three years of coursework in just two years. She was ready for a break. Even though she was less than an hour from home she had often felt home sick. Matthew and CJ were graduating from college this year and they would be home in less than a week. To celebrate, the entire family would be going to the Cape for a week of downtime before life as the Abraham family changed drastically. Tomas carried the last box out to the moving truck. Harper stopped when she saw the radio. She closed her eyes and decided to leave it. She had not listened to it in two years because whenever she did, there would always be a song on by The Brody Hines Band or Burning Souls. She had completely stopped listening to the radio, or anything other than country music she had downloaded onto her iPhone. Diga, Diga, Twang, she thought, and I like it! She sat in the passenger side of the truck as Tomas pulled out onto the busy street. They passed by her first dorm; she remembered the party she attended the first weekend she had moved in. The people were loud, and the music was deafening. “Fuck You” had never been officially released by Burning Souls but the powers that be figured out how to take the video and stream the music everywhere online. It was unavoidable. The weekend before February break her dorm had a music awards party night where everyone sat around the flat screen eating and singing along to the music on the show. It was fun; until the best international band was announced, and it was Burning Souls who played Stained via satellite. When the song ended she could not take any more. The memories of that night were still too fresh in her mind. From that night forward, she stopped watching the awards shows, but always heard the banter the next day about who won and who played. Apparently, The Brody Hines Band and Burning Souls were up against each other for International song of the year, and The Brody Hines Band won for Back from the Dead. She heard the girls in her quad gossiping about how Burning Souls should have won but didn’t because “Fuck You” was their biggest song of the year, but was never released. Of course, they didn’t understand why. Harper smiled as traffic finally began moving in front of the dorm. When she wanted to be angry at Maddox, that’s what she thought about. Him not winning song of the year for Fuck You was like her flipping him the bird. Ha, yep, Ha. She knew the joke was on her; what the hell did she expect? He was so lost, and she had really thought he was strong and focused. She sat back and pulled her sunglasses down and thought of that night. The last night she had talked to Maddox Hines, the first boy she kissed. The first boy she loved; and the first boy who touched her body. Harper slipped into her memory bank, and couldn’t stop herself from remembering him screaming at her: “Tell me you hate me.” She could never hate him. She remembered Brody almost carrying him up the stairs as Emma held her. She went to bed that night in large, unfamiliar surroundings, crying softly into her pillow until she’d had enough. She woke to him standing over the bed in linen pajama pants, shirtless with his arms crossed over his bare chest. He looked lost. And then he laid down, “Shh, Shh I’ll keep you safe tonight.” He cried into her hair, and she could not take it anymore. She moved so she was lying on her back
and held his head to her chest as he cried softly. “This is so fucked up,” he said, “I never meant to hurt you, Harper… ever.” “It’s okay. I’m fine, and you will be too. We…” He lifted his head and looked down at her, “Stop Harper. I can’t take it. Just stop. I love you, and I hurt you.” “You love me?” “Yes, I’ve tried not to. I have tried so damn hard to remind myself I am a fucked up kid, and I need to get through some shit, Harper. But it’s not going away, this burning in my soul. God-- it’s you. I need you, Harper--- so fucking badly.” “I’m right here, Maddox, I am a phone call away when I’m not and…” “Not good enough. The phone calls, the Skype…. you can do that with anyone.” “We’re friends.” “The fuck we are,” he held her hand against his rapidly beating heart, “You are in here, Harper.” “And you are here, Maddox,” she held his hand to hers. “I will always want to know you’re okay.” She let go of his hand, and he didn’t move his. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, “Not enough.” “Maddox you should…” He kissed her, stopping her from talking, his mouth over hers his lips pulling hers gently, “Maddox please, this is not…” He kissed her again this time harder. She whimpered into his mouth, and he kissed across her face and down her neck stopping just above his hand that still rested on her hurried heartbeat. He pulled his head away and kissed her softly, tenderly, “I love you.” She looked at him and wanted to cry. “I know you feel this too, Harper. Tell me to stop, tell me no, tell me you hate me.” She turned her head away from his intense eyes, “I don’t hate you.” “Tell me you don’t love me.” “It hurts.” “I know. Tell me what to do, Harper.” “Maddox… I don’t know. I just want you to be happy.” He kissed her again, “This makes me happy. You make me happy. I am making you uncomfortable,” he moved his hand slowly away, and she closed her eyes as he skimmed over her breast, “Tell me to leave, tell me not to look back, Harper.” She shook her head slowly from side to side. “You feel it too. You know you do, Harper.” She nodded her head yes. “Tell me to leave before I never can.” She closed her eyes and tears ran down her face. He kissed each one, “I can make you love me again.” He continued to kiss her, between each was an apology. “Stop it,” Maddox sat up quickly, “Stop saying you’re sorry. I know, Maddox. I know you don’t mean to hurt me. Stop saying that because that means I’m hurting you. I don’t want to hurt you either.” “Tell me why Harper, why don’t you want to hurt me?” Harper sat up and looked at him, “Because I love you too.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” He took her face between his hands and kissed her. He kissed her lips, her cheek, and her neck and stopped.
He leaned back and closed his eyes taking deep breaths. She rubbed his face with her hand and he pushed into it, enjoying her touch, “It feels so good when you touch me.” She rubbed her thumb across his lower lip and leaned in and kissed him. He leaned forward until she was lying on the bed again, “Let me love you.” She took his hand and held it to her chest and he gently squeezed watching her face. She closed her eyes tightly. He pulled her shirt up and kissed her even more gently. He kissed down her stomach slowly leaving his hands on her chest. Harper’s head fell back as he kissed across her waist. He moved back up her stomach and across her chest and then kissed her mouth again. She held his head between her hands, and he laid on her caressing her, kissing her, adoring her. He pulled his head back slowly, “Is this too much?” “Not enough.” She kissed him again and he groaned and shifted his body away from hers, “No.” “You’re certain?” He kissed her and stroked her cheek with his fingers softly. She leaned up and kissed him. His body touched hers. She felt him against her, and she moaned into his mouth. “I love you, Harper.” “I love you, Maddox.” “Thank you.” He kissed her hard and rubbed against her. He reached down and touched her gently causing her to gasp loudly, “We need protection.” “I’m sure there are condoms in the bathroom cabinet. I’ll go.” “No, I will. God, I must be a mess right now.” Harper ran her fingers through her hair. “You are more beautiful today than you were at your prom, Harper. Each time I see you, you are more breathtaking,” Maddox kissed her again and pulled her shirt over her head, “My God I will never tire of you?” Harper stood, and he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into him, resting his head against her naked chest. She ran her fingers over his head, and he moaned. They stayed like that, just holding each other for a very long time. She laid her head on top of his and rubbed his back and neck. “You better go before you change your mind,” Maddox kissed her and laid down. She stood in the mirror looking at herself. Her cheeks were flush and lips red and swollen. And her hair was an insane mess from his hands. She smiled and took a deep breath. She was nervous but knew he was without a doubt the only one she ever wanted or ever would. She decided to take a very quick shower. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. She walked out into the dark room and walked to the bed. She dropped the towel and slid under the covers beside him. She wrapped her arms around him, and he held her tightly. “I have missed you, are you alright?” “Yes, I just wanted to shower.” “Okay.” He rubbed her back and kissed her head and laid back. Harper ran her hand down his stomach, and he grabbed her hand, “No.” “Oh, okay. Did I do something wrong?” “All I want is to hold you. You have been through enough tonight.” “So we are not going to…” “No. Go to sleep. I’ll protect you. You’re safe tonight, Jane.” “Maddox, wake up.” “Shh Shh Shh, Jane I am here”
Harper opened her eyes as they pulled off the road onto the long driveway. She looked over at Tomas and he smiled, “Glad to be home?” “Yes. Thank you Tomas-- for everything.” “It’s not just my job Harper, it’s my pleasure.” “You are the best,” Harper smiled. They pulled in front of the house, and Harper jumped up and ran in. Tessa was walking out of the office and hugged her tightly, “I missed you.” “I’m so glad I am here,” Harper held on tightly to her mother. “I am too. Hey… Dad and the boys are at the Cape now. What do you say we leave tonight and drive up?” Tessa smiled. “Oh, okay!” Harper looked around. “Unless you don’t want to?” Tessa stepped back and looked at her. “No, that’s cool. Can I shower first?” “Of course.” Harper walked into her room and walked into the closet and saw the sweatshirt hanging. She was wearing it the night Tessa showed up out of the blue at her apartment. “Hey lets go grab dinner,” Tessa smiled when Harper opened the door. “Hey Mom, we just went out last night. I still have leftovers. What’s the occasion?” “Thought I would mix it up. You know Wednesday and Saturday are so typical. I thought a Thursday would be just the thing we needed. Hurry up, grab a sweatshirt-- we can eat outside.” They sat on the deck at the restaurant, and Harper pulled the sweatshirt over her head. Tessa looked at it and back up at Harper’s face. “So why did you really come?” Harper took a bite of her mashed potatoes. “To see you. I missed you.” “Okay, the real reason?” ”I’ll only tell you if I can have a sleepover,” Tessa smiled and sat back. “A sleepover?” Tessa nodded. “I’m over it Mom. Whatever it is I am okay.” “Just, well he moved out of Brody and Emma’s and into his own place in London.” “Okay are Emma and the girls alright?” “No. London was crying when she called.” “I should call her.” “I figured you would. Hey, look. He didn’t move into his new place alone.” “T?” “No, Harper not T.” Harper looked at her plate and pushed the food around, “A girl?” “Yes, Harper I’m…” “Seriously Mom, it’s no big deal. I hear all the girls talking about how he leaves clubs with different women all the time. I hope he is happy.” “Okay, I am still spending the night.” “No, I can do this. “Well, I can’t. No argument. Pedi, mani and sleepover. Do it for me?”
Harper had given her mother the sweatshirt the next morning before she left. She thought it would reassure her that she was over it. Over it, by The Brody Hines Band, Harper smiled and pulled the shirt from the hanger and smelled it. It didn’t smell like him-- that was a very good sign. Harper bounced down the stairs feeling refreshed from her shower and Tessa stood at the door. “Dad left you a gift,” Tessa smiled. “Great!” “Grab your bag and whatever else you need and let's cruise to the Cape. If we get tired we can stop and sleep at a swanky hotel,” Tessa smiled.
“No way,” Harper gasped and then laughed out loud, “This is absolutely perfect.” “We thought it was time,” Tessa threw her the keys. “I love it,” Harper danced around and laughed. “I had one just like it when I was your age, except it was blue, standard shift and…” “I think the word you are looking for is vintage,” Harper laughed from her belly. Tessa smiled and laughed too. Her eyes filled with tears, and she hugged Harper. “I have not heard you laugh like that in two years.” “I’ve been busy, Mom,” Harper smiled sweetly. “I know. Okay, let’s go before Tomas catches us with the top down and calls your father,” Tessa hoped in the passenger side. “Why is he my father now? And when you are not annoyed by something he’s obviously…” “Good God, Harper, let’s go!” Tessa reached her foot across the Jeep and punched the gas. Harper and Tessa both laughed and waved to Tomas who was still looking for the keys as he stomped around.
They pulled over to grab dinner about an hour from the Cape. Tessa had ignored Collin’s calls and simply texted him back that they were busy and safe and having fun. Harper’s phone rang when they sat in the booth at a little diner on the side of the road. “Hello Daddy, thank you for the Jeep…No, she can't talk right now. We have the top off and she is standing up flashing everyone who drives by,” Harper laughed and then gasped, “Mom, Dad wants to talk to you.” “Hello hot stuff…you said WHAT!? Collin that was more than twenty years ago get over it!...Fine!...Of course I didn’t, but I may do it now!...Fine…what?...oh I see…alright then.” Tessa hung up the phone and took a drink. “What’s wrong?” Harper asked eating a greasy fry.
“Well, nothing, I just,” Tessa looked at Harper. “Out with it, then I want to hear what you did twenty years ago that still has Daddy all hot and bothered,” Harper ate another fry. “Well Emma, London, Lexington and Brody are in town. They will be coming over to stay with us for a couple days,” Tessa smiled. “Cool. I feel awful that I haven’t spent any time with London in the past couple years. And Lexington won't even remember me,” Harper nibbled on a fry. “Harper, Maddox has an interview on the Today Show in the morning. He kicks of his US tour in Madison Square Garden in four days.” “Very cool,” Harper took a drink and sat back. “He’s coming to see us for a couple days,” Tessa whispered. “Oh my God,” Harper whispered back and rolled her eyes. Tessa smiled. “Mom do you think you will be okay? If it’s too much, I could take you back I mean I know it’s been…” “Harper, I really want you to talk to me.” “I am,” Harper smiled, “I’m fine. Excited to see London, let’s go!” “Don’t you want to eat anymore?” “No, I am ready to go see…Hey Mom, I have an idea. I promise if you do me just one favor I’ll be fine.” “Anything Harper, you know that.”
Harper laid on the horn when they pulled into the parking lot, “Come on Mom you promised!” “I did. Let's do this.” Tessa stood up as Harper honked the horn, Collin ran out the door, and Tessa smiled and lifted her shirt. Harper laughed when she saw her father’s face. “Hey Collin,” Tessa jumped out of the Jeep. “Did you miss me?” Harper was laughing so hard she could not get out of the Jeep. She also could not hear her father scolding Tessa, but she did see her mother turn and walk back towards the Jeep and then turn around and flash him again. Tessa jumped in the Jeep, and Harper could not stop laughing. Collin took only four strides to make it to the Jeep where he grabbed the keys and scowled at Tessa, kissed Harper and walked away. Harper looked up, and the entire Hines family was standing on the back porch of Ann’s house smirking, “They’re here, Mom.” Tessa’s jaw dropped, and she looked at them and laughed out loud. Harper started laughing again. “You did this!” Tessa laughed. “I didn’t-- it was your boobs hanging out there.” Tessa jumped out, and London ran into her open arms. Harper jumped out and joined in their hug. “I missed you.” “I missed you more,” London hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry, I have been so busy with school,” Harper kissed her face a million times.
London laughed. “Come on girl, are going to take a ride in my new Jeep!” Harper smiled and hugged Emma, “Is that okay?” “Sure,” Emma smiled. “Cool-- lets go get some ice cream. But first I need to go beg my Daddy for my keys.” Harper walked out of the house and handed her a pair of shades, “Gotta get you dressed up girl.” She opened the back of the Jeep and grabbed cowboy hats, “Come on!” London sat in the passenger seat and put the hat on and stood up, “Hey Brody, check me out!” “We have only just arrived, and your neck is turning red Miss London,” Brody laughed. Harper turned on the Jeep and cranked up Zach Brown’s Toes and pulled out. Harper and London laughed as they drove slowly down the main strip with country music blasting. They played the song on repeat until London knew all the words. She of course said “butt” instead of ass. Harper pulled over at an empty beach, “Let's go put our toes in the water, London.” “And our a--butts in the sand,” London laughed. “Oh yes, and sing at the top of our lungs and dance!” And that is just what they did. They made up moves and sang loudly. They jumped in the Jeep after an hour, “Do you have Taylor Swift?” “Of course, who doesn’t?” Harper laughed as she thumbed through her music. “We don’t, Brody and Maddox are not big fans.” “Oh no?” Harper laughed. “Nope, they say its boy bashing bubble gum music.” “Well then let’s go get ice cream and buy some bubble gum.” London laughed, and that is exactly what they did. They drove around singing “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty- two.”
“Ready?” Harper laughed as they pulled back into the parking area at the beach house. “Both songs?” “Of course!” They stood in the seats and cranked the tunes and sang and danced until everyone was outside watching them. Emma was videotaping them on her phone and laughing. Brody was pretending it was awful and Lexington ran up to the Jeep, and Harper got out and picked her up and placed the hat on her head and danced with her in her arms. London was singing at the top of her lungs and stopped abruptly. Harper was too busy twirling in circles and singing to Lexi, to see London run smiling into the crowd. The music stopped, and Harper turned off the Jeep and grabbed her phone. She turned around, and she and Lexi were still laughing. She looked up, and saw Maddox holding London. She grabbed the bag out of the back and took a deep breath, “Hey everyone, we brought back ice cream. You want to go see your Mommy? I have to use the bathroom.” Emma took Lexington and watched Harper continue to smile. “Hello, Maddox,” she waved as she walked by.
She opened the door to the house and almost ran to the bathroom. She leaned against the door and took a deep breath. Seriously, get over it! She looked in the mirror and laughed out loud and covered her mouth quickly. She was definitely going to stick with that hat. Who cares that she looked ridiculous. Nobody here would. She brushed her teeth and washed her hands and walked out into the kitchen. Tessa walked in from outside. She smiled at Harper, “You okay?” “Yes, are you?” Tessa laughed and nodded, “Yep. I’m going to start dinner, would you like to help?” “Sure.”
Tessa stood on the deck watching her sons docking the boat and talking to their father. She smiled when CJ looked up and waved her down. She ran down the stairs, and Brody and Maddox stopped talking and looked up at her. “Sorry,” Harper smiled and ran past them down the beach, and into CJ’s arms. “Hey, look at you!” CJ took her hat off and put it on his head, “Country girl, huh?” “Taste’s change,” Harper smiled and hugged Matthew. “Thank God,” Matthew stepped back and looked at her. “We have dinner ready.” “Shouldn’t we take a swim first?” Matthew grabbed her arms, and CJ took her heels and she screamed at them to stop as they swung her back and forth and flung her into the water. “Assholes!” He laughed as she popped up out of the water and pulled herself onto the dock. “Some things don’t change,” Matthew laughed and handed her a towel.
They all sat at the table. London sat next to Harper, and Lexington climbed on her lap. “See, she remembers you,” Tessa laughed as she sat down. “You are very beautiful, Lexington,” Harper smiled and hugged her tightly. London led the conversation as usual. She talked about England, her new school, and of course music. “Harper listens to country music don’t you?” “I do,” Harper smiled at her, “And I am going to make you a Taylor Swift fan before you leave.” “Please don’t do that,” Brody laughed. “She bought bubble gum, Dad,” London laughed. “Well isn’t that perfect,” Brody grinned. “We should crank up some dinner music, Harper.”
“Sure, London. Come on Lexi,” Harper stood up to walk inside. “Oh no, we can’t do that. It would be rude to our guests,” CJ shook his head, “And to our poor ears.” Harper laughed and sat down, “After dinner you and I can listen okay?” Harper looked up, and Maddox was looking at her. She quickly looked away. “So Harper how is school?” Emma asked. “Good, very good.” “Harper finished three years of course work in two years. In the fall she will do an internship, and then she graduates,” Collin beamed with pride, “Matthew and CJ will be continuing their education and Tessa and I will be… what will we be Tessa?” “Empty nesters,” Tessa made a disgusted face. “I’m sure we will be busy following them all over the place,” Collin leaned forward and rubbed her hand. “They will be fine and so will we. The only problem we have is that Tessa will not be able to make three trips a week to visit Harper every week.” Harper smiled at Tessa, “Time to let me go, Mom.” “Never,” Tessa smiled back. “Shouldn’t we feel bad about this?” Matthew asked CJ. “Oh, no. I actually feel pretty good about Mom hovering over Harper and not us,” CJ laughed. “You’re just jealous she likes me more,” Harper laughed. “Yeah, that’s it,” CJ laughed. “Actually, I love all of you equally. And your father and I’ll be a little more ‘hands off’ from now on. Harper will be overseas and Tomas will be going with her. You should both be happy that we have let you have freedom.” “Mom, Matthew and I know we have a tail, so please… just stop right there,” Matthew laughed and so did Maddox, “You too?” Maddox sat back, “I have a team. One I have hired, and one I am not supposed to know about.” Brody looked at him in shock and Maddox laughed, “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” “I don’t know how to reply to that,” Brody looked away, and everyone laughed. “One’s not enough?” CJ asked. “Dad doesn’t like my guy,” Maddox smiled. “He doesn’t, does he?” London laughed. “No,” Maddox smiled broadly at her. “He’s an idiot,” Brody raised his eyebrow. “He’s accountable to me,” Maddox looked at Brody, “And I have not argued about your guy tailing me. I know it makes you feel better.” “You could move home, that would make us all feel better,” London grumbled. “I am nearly twenty, London…” “And shacked up with Satan,” London scowled. Harper laughed out loud and quickly covered her mouth and looked at Maddox, “Sorry.” “She is my roommate, London,” he did not look away from Harper. “A girl roommate, and not a very nice one either,” London scowled at him. “Hey, London…” Brody said quietly. “What? She isn’t. She doesn’t smile, or laugh, or…” “Some people are not as crazy as we are London,” Harper crossed her eyes at London. London smiled a little, “Would you want your brothers’ shacking up with Satan?” “London, she is my roommate…” “And your keyboard player, and she is always with you, and I hate her,” London stood up, and Harper grabbed her hand.
“I would be happy for Matthew or CJ if they found someone, even if it were Satan, just as long as that made them happy.” Emma stood up, “Let’s me and you go for a walk.” “No. I’m sorry Maddox,” London sat down on Harper’s lap. “London I miss you too, every day. It’s all part of growing up.” “Sure…”
Harper kissed London’s forehead and looked at the clock: it was one in the morning. She had fallen asleep, trying to come up with every reason under the sun for London to accept Maddox’s decision; to make it alright for both London and Maddox. She understood why she felt the need to do it for London, but hated that she felt that she needed to for Maddox, as well. She walked out onto the patio of the house her family owned; next to their own. It had been her greatgreat-aunt Ann’s house. The place her parents met and fell in love. She walked out into the fenced in lawn that she had played in since she was a baby and opened the gate leading to the beach. She stood on the shore looking over the ocean. She looked up at the moon and then closed her eyes. All the reasons she had told London to accept Maddox’s choices faded in the moonlight. The way he looked at her when he was responding to London was etched in her mind. His blue eyes appeared guarded, and they probably were, but the way she allowed them to pierce her heart made her angry. She was not a stupid girl needing and seeking his attention. She was a woman now, and she was proud of herself for who she was and who she would become. She had worked hard and would continue her focus on school. “Hey,” the hair on the back of her neck stood up in response to his voice. She looked up and smiled, “Hi.” He sat down next to her, “Thanks for all that tonight.” “Well it was for her, but you’re welcome. I hope it helps.” They sat in silence looking over the water. It was becoming uncomfortable, “Well… goodnight.” Harper started to stand. “Wait, just…. just wait a minute alright? Sit and talk for just a minute?” “Maddox, I really am tired. We can talk in the morning.” “I won’t be here, I have an interview.” “Okay shoot.” “I heard everything you said to London in that room.” “Okay.” “The walls are paper thin.” “Okay. If I upset you I’m sorry.” “That’s three times, Harper, since I have been here you have said sorry--- three times.” “And the only thing I can think of in response to that is …” “Don’t you dare,” he smiled at her and looked into her eyes, “Just don’t.” The way he looked at her is the same way he did at prom before he kissed her. He was even more beautiful right now then he was that night. His brown hair was a bit longer than the short cut he had at the time, his eyes just as sparkling blue. The difference was he looked relaxed and not on edge “I won’t,” Harper finally looked away, “I should get inside.” “I need to say a few things to you, if you would just give me a few more minutes.” She sat back and looked up at the sky.
“Harper, I’ve missed you.” Oh please don’t, she thought to herself as her chest began to burn and the heat moved to her throat. “The morning I woke up and you were gone, I fell apart. I was left with no answers and when I tried to call you and you didn’t answer, I threw my phone at the wall. It took two weeks to finally ask for it to be replaced. I was afraid I would call you and hurt you again like I did that night… and it killed me. I looked you up on those social media pages and there was nothing. It was like you went in hiding. Which I understood and I certainly deserved.” “I was in South Africa,” Harper whispered. “I know that now. I also know that you have done four fundraisers a year since then to raise money to help foundations all over the world, your focus on women and children. I know that every year at the end of the summer you still come here with your family. I know that there has not been a holiday or birthday that you have not sent gifts or called London or Lexington. I know that you send birthday cards every year to all of us. I know that you have not changed from the girl I knew two years ago. I know that every time I have seen your picture on your families Christmas card or a photo of you from a party, or an event… I fall for you again.” Harper didn’t say anything. She didn’t know how to respond. “Harper, I…” “Maddox don’t, whatever it is you are going to say next, just don’t.” “I need to.” “Well maybe you should listen to what my two years have been like.” “I would like that, Harper.” “After your show I felt dirty. Like I was…filthy. After that last night, I was disgusted with myself,” “Why? What…” “Please let me finish.” “Alright.” “I had to hear that song at every party I attended, which hurt. I had to watch music award show’s that you performed in, without showing an emotion because I’ll share that with no one. I stopped listening to the radio because back then it hurt so badly. I can't watch TV, or MTV, or even the news without seeing you and whatever girl you left clubs with, or who popped out of your limo. That hurt, so I stopped. I found out about your girlfriend and you moving in together from my mother. She told me, so I didn’t hear it from someone else. Even avoiding all that I did, I still heard every time you made the news. Whether from a friend, or sitting in the library studying, it hurt. I moved out of the dorms and got an apartment and freaking Netflix, so I didn’t have to see or hear about you. I knew you were healthy and safe. That was my agreement with my mother. Tell me if he is not okay. That’s it.” “I…” “No, please just give me a minute.” He nodded his head in agreement, “That last night took a lot of getting over. But I did. I’m good right now, Maddox, and you’re happy and living with someone and…” “Harper, she’s just my roommate.” “Fine, whatever, I’m happy for you. That’s the point. I finally forgave myself for what happened in Liverpool and…” “What happened, Harper? I honestly do not remember, and it has haunted me since. I swear I have dreamt up this story in my head, a vision, just to stop me from thinking I hurt you badly enough that you left me in the middle of the night.” “Maddox, I can't travel down that road again.” “Please Harper, I need this. You don’t know what …” “You’re fine, Maddox. Neither of us needs to go back there.” “Bullshit!”
Harper looked at him and shook her head, “Don’t, please don’t yell at me or be angry or…” He watched the tears falling from her eyes and grabbed her and hugged her tightly and groaned softly when she rested her head on his shoulder. “With you in my arms, Harper, I could never yell or be angry. In my head, I repeat the words you have said to me in the past when I needed to feel like this. I have not felt this calm or this at peace since that night at your camp. You just make everything right for me.” “You wouldn’t feel that way if you remembered what had happened.” “You should let me make that decision, Harper. But I can promise you, nothing could make me stop feeling what I do for you. I have tried to stop the dreams of you and the nightmares of losing you.” Harper started to sit up, “Please don’t, please stay.” “You came into the room and stood over me. I woke up, and you said very beautiful things to me. You held my hand to your heart and then I did the same…” “We kissed, you allowed me to touch you.” She nodded her head yes. “I kissed every perfect part of you?” Her body quivered, and he held her tighter, “I claimed your body with my mouth and hands. You did the same. And I woke up, and you were gone. It’s my dream, the dream I have of you all the time.” “I showered and grabbed condoms out of the bathroom, where you told me they were. I came out, and you told me no. You pushed my hands away from you and told me no. I have been ashamed of myself for letting it happen when you were drunk ever since. When I say I am sorry…” “Harper, stop.” “No, after all you’ve gone through. I knew you were drunk. It disgusts me.” “I must have been out of my mind. My old nightmares were of saying no. Of things long before you, Harper. Since that night, I have only woken up trembling because you were gone.” “You have to stop saying things like that to me, Maddox. I fall for it every time.” “I’ll catch you, Harper, and never let you go.” “No, no, no, no, no,” Harper pulled away. “Okay, I’m sorry. Just don’t leave…please?” Maddox’s voice mimicked a prayer. “You sleep around, you live with someone and you are a freaking rock star. I’m a good girl,” Harper scowled. Maddox tried not to smile at her, “You are not only a good girl, Harper, but you are my good girl.” “What makes you think…?” “I don’t think, I know. You belong with me, to me…” “Really, you smug…” “Not smug, Harper, it’s the truth and you know it. You feel it.” Harper looked away from him and stood up as he did too, “You don’t want to leave, Harper, you feel the same way I do. You hear my voice and everything inside of you comes alive.” “What makes you think…?” “You can't even listen to my music when I’m across the ocean because it calls to you. The sound of my voice makes you burn inside.” He walked towards her, and she held her hand out telling him to stop, “When we kiss, every part of your body wants me. When we finally do this, Harper, you’ll never want me to go away. You’ll stop fighting me, and you will never want another.” He took her hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles as she closed her eyes. “When we’re not together, you’ll still remember my touch, my taste, and the desire you have for me that is slowly burning deep inside of you right now.” Harper’s heart beat faster. He pulled her into his arms, his lips touched hers softy. “I am going to make it, so you never forget me, so you can never walk away from me again.” “I don’t think…” “Then don’t.” He kissed her harder and lifted her up pulling her legs around his waist, “I want you, I have since the first time I saw you. You won’t say no, because you feel it too.” He cupped her ass and
rubbed hard. “You’re going to burn from me being so deep inside of you…and you will take it, every inch of me.” He kissed her hard on the mouth and walked towards the water. He reached behind her and pulled her shirt over her head. “This is a bad idea,” Harper said softly between kisses. “Does this feel bad, Harper?” he bit her neck lightly. “Oh God.” He laid her on the beach and continued kissing her. “We should stop,” she gasped when he began kissing her inner thighs, “Oh Maddox, please stop.” “Give me one good reason, Harper,” his lips cascaded across her. “Maddox stop, please stop,” Harper sat up and looked sadly at him, “This is too much, it took too long to stop…” Maddox sat on his knees in front of her, his eyes dark with desire, “You are mine, Harper.” “You live with someone, Maddox. I…I cannot be one of many. I won’t be.” “She’s my roommate, that’s all. I haven’t had sex with her.” Confusion shown in her eyes, “I don’t understand.” “Jazz is someone I knew a long time ago. From before, her name was…” “Jane?” “Do you know this from the song?” “No, Maddox. I told you, I don’t listen to the radio.” “Right, because my voice calls to you, let’s get back to that,” Maddox took her hand and kissed it and held it to his heart, “Feel this Harper…” She pulled her hand away, “Let’s get back to Jane.” “If that’s what you need.” “You called me Jane. That night in Liverpool, you called me Jane.” He looked at her, “I must have been having a nightmare.” “I don’t think that’s it, Maddox.” “Care to explain?” “You care about her.” “Of course I do,” he snapped, “I care about all of the…” “Maddox let me make this easier. I don’t want this. I have a lot going on next year, and I need …” “You need me, Harper!” Harper looked down and whispered, “We are going to fight.” He lifted her chin, “Tell me what you need from me to make this happen.” “This? Make this happen?” “That’s not what I meant.” “How many people have you been with, Maddox?” “Well that all depends on what your definition of been with is.” “How many people have you kissed?” “Three,” he looked at her and raised his eyebrows as if to say, HA! “I have kissed one.” “I know this, what’s the point here, Harper?” “How many people have you touched?” “Again the answer is dependent on…” “Fine if we are going to be childish about this. How many breasts have been in your hands? And before you need clarification…” “Lots. My fingers have been in a lot of wet…” “God---not so descriptive, please,” Harper covered her ears.
He took her wrists in his hands and pulled them away, “Bullshit you want answers I am giving them to you. After every show I get a blowjob. I could have several, but…” “Okay, Maddox, I don’t want to know anything except this: has Jane been one of the people you have been with sexually?” He looked at her and let out a frustrated breath, “It’s different with her then it is with you.” Harper swallowed hard, “Is she the other one you have kissed?” He looked at her and scowled, “Harper, still not the same. I get that you don’t understand because you lack…” Harper stood up and tried to walk away. He grabbed her arm and pulled her around, “You can't just walk away from a conversation like this.” “Don’t you get it? It should have never happened. I am walking away because I can’t stay; I can’t be the other woman. I can’t be…” “The other? Jazz took comfort in my body, Harper. I care about her. It’s not what I feel with you.” “You still don’t get it. I have waited my whole life for someone to choose me and only me…” “I’ll make her move her things into another bedroom. Will that make you feel any better?” “You sleep in the same room?” “Yes, but we don’t have sex, Harper. She has horrible dreams still and…” “Maddox…” “Meet her. Come with me tomorrow and meet her. You will see that what Jazz and I have… it’s not love, Harper.” “I don’t want…” “She knows about you.” Harper looked down, exhausted, and not wanting to fight, “I can’t go to the city. It’s my brother’s graduation party.” “Then I’ll bring her here.” “You need to figure out what will work for you. I could not trust…” “Harper, just meet her.” “I don’t think my parents would appreciate…” “I’ll talk to your father.” “Maddox, do you remember how angry you were when I was on someone’s shoulders? Totally innocent-- and you came undone.” “We were younger then. I still needed to grow…” “Maddox, I will never be okay with the person I give myself to, the person who held my heart for so long, sharing a bed or having a roommate who he has been with. So it IS me, not you. I don’t want to meet her…” “If you did you would understand Harper, I know you would.” “Maddox, if I fell in love with you the very first time I saw you, she…” “Stop,” Maddox held her lips together. “You know that still makes me mad?” He smiled and kissed her softly, “She is nothing like you, Harper.” “Maddox it’s…” he interrupted her with another kiss. “Will you trust me?” “Will you earn my trust, Maddox? It’s been…” Another kiss and she giggled, “Knock it off.” “No,” he leaned in again. She stepped back and smiled, “I missed you. But I will not allow myself to go through another two years of hell, Maddox Hines.”
“I bet an hour in heaven would help erase some of the pain,” he winked, and she laughed out loud. “I missed you, Harper.” “We could be really good friends, Maddox.” “We will be, and more.” Harper smiled and walked up the stairs to the deck, and he followed her. “What are you doing, you’re next door?” “We’re going to talk,” he pointed to the chase, “I want you to know everything you need to know. I want to know what you have done over the past two years. You know, get this friend thing out of the way.” He laughed. “Out of the way?” “You know what I mean. I promise, PG only.” Harper took a deep breath and sat, “I watched Bambi you know.” “Oh yeah, how was it?” “Well, it hit home.” Harper looked at him, “The momma deer?” He smiled, “Sure, but I was thinking…” “Twitterpated?” “Yes, and it made me think of you every time I watched it.” Harper looked at his smile, relaxed and happy. “Every time?” “Shut up, Harper,” he pulled her into his arms. “Every time.” “Told you I missed you.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Harper jumped when she heard her father’s voice. Maddox sat up and looked at Collin, “Sorry, we fell asleep.” Harper could feel her face burning, and Tessa walked out onto the deck. “Harper…” she said sadly. Harper sat up on the double chase and rubbed her eyes and looked at Maddox who was staring at Collin, “I need to talk to you.” “Maddox, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harper whispered. Maddox pushed the blanket off of them and stood up, “It’s something that has to be done,” he bent and kissed the top of her head. Collin growled. “Maddox, you’ll have to give me a few minutes to talk to my husband,” Tessa took Collins hand and dragged him into the house. Maddox squatted beside Harper, “Good morning.” “Good morning?” “Come with me to New York?” “No, I’m not ready for that.” “But will you meet her?” “It depends on what my father says, Maddox.” “Okay,” he kissed her softly, “I missed your lips, Harper.” Harper rolled her eyes and covered her face. He pulled her hands away, “Answer a question?” “Sure.” “Be mine?”
“What?” Harper laughed. “Be mine, and only mine.” “Will you do the same?” “Absolutely.” She nodded, smiled, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Tessa cleared her throat, and Harper sat back and looked up at Collin’s infuriated gaze. “Let’s go have a chat, Maddox.”
CHAPTER TWELVE New York They sat in Collin’s office, or the bat cave, as Harper had once referred to it. Collin flipped on the surveillance cameras and Maddox moved uncomfortably in his chair. “I love your daughter.” “We’ll wait for your father,” Collin was still agitated. “With all due respect Collin, I am almost twenty years old, live on my own, and make my own decisions. He has nothing to do with this,” Maddox looked right into Collin’s eyes. “We’ll wait for your father,” Collin sat behind his desk strumming his fingers. Brody walked through the opened door, “Is everything alright? It’s five in the morning.” “Harper and I fell asleep on the deck, Collin is angry. And I love Harper,” Maddox looked at Brody. “Collin?” Brody looked at him for answers. “Your son lives with another woman,” Collin glared at Maddox. “She’s my roommate,” Maddox glared back. “Maddox… easy, this is his daughter.” “I am well aware of that. I won’t hurt her.” “Maddox, where did you meet this girl?” Collin began typing on his computer. “What are you doing?” “A background investigation,” Collin looked at Maddox. “Is that necessary?” “If you want my daughter to meet someone who London refers to as Satan…and whose name does not come up in a search,” “Jazz is her stage name.” “Fine, give me her real name.” “No.” “Excuse me?” “Maddox, I don’t think it’s too much to ask,” Brody began. “And why the hell have you not done this?” Collin snapped at Brody. “He has been a little stand offish lately, Collin. He has security.” Collin cleared his throat, “Her name or it’s never going to happen, Maddox.” “Your daughter is twenty years old, she…” Collin stood up and leaned over his desk. His blue eyes were fierce, and he fisted his hands tightly, “This is where you and I will have problems, Maddox.” “Maddox… it’s his daughter.” “It’s Jane, Dad.” “WHAT?” “It’s Jane. She was sold by her family; she doesn’t want anyone to know who she is. Harper knows this; we talked about everything last night.” Collin sat down and took several deep breaths, “Last name.” “I don’t know…Doe?” “Holy shit, Maddox,” Brody groaned. “What? I am helping her!”
“She is in your band, a legitimate job. She has been helped Maddox. You cannot think that.” Collin stood up, “The answer is no.” “It’s not up to you,” Maddox stood facing him. “The hell it isn’t,” Collin looked at Brody, “Find out who she is. Get her help.” “She doesn’t need help, she is fine,” Maddox snapped. “When you tell her about another woman, see how she is then Maddox. She sees you as her savior. My daughter will not be exposed to that kind of danger.” “She knows all about my feeling for Harper. She knows more than Harper knows!” Collin shook his head back and forth, “Maddox, you may not see this, but you are putting yourself and my daughter in danger.” “Does Zach know this?” Brody was angry. “Why are you pissed off?” Maddox yelled at him. “You’re smarter than this, Maddox! What we have been through, what you’ve survived. You have talked to Lucy for over two years, she’s a mess, and she has parents who love her and look what she is going through. Maddox…you’re moving home.” Maddox laughed loudly, “I have a cross country tour starting in a week. I’ll be here, and so will the band, which includes Jazz. You can both see for yourselves. Hire all the security you want, hell hire a shrink to travel with us. I can assure you, she is fine.” “My daughter will not be…” Harper walked in and looked at Maddox and smiled, “I won’t be what, Daddy?” “You will not be in danger,” Collin scowled at Maddox. “Hey Maddox, you need to catch your flight, right?” “Yes,” Maddox tried to calm himself down. “I would like to go…” “Harper, that’s enough!” “Dad, Tomas can come.” “You are not going anywhere!” “Harper, it’s not really a good idea yet, okay?” Brody said, siding with Collin. “Brody, I understand all of your reservations, but I am an adult.” “Harper Ann, get your ass out of here!” Collin snapped. “Do not speak to her like that!” “Maddox, that’s enough!” Brody yelled. “Come on, Maddox,” Harper took his hand and they walked out the door. Tessa stood, looking horrified, “Please don’t do this, Harper.” “Mom, I’ll be back; Maddox when will we be back?” “We are on at nine, and we can be back by one at the latest. Harper… you don’t have to do this.” “Yes I do. Mom, I’m sorry. Can you see if Tomas will meet us? I think it will make Dad feel better,” Harper smiled sadly and hugged her. Tessa looked at Maddox, “She is our baby.” Maddox looked at Harper conflicted, “You really don’t have to do this. I understand completely. I would never let anything happen to her,” Maddox looked at Tessa. “I believe you, Maddox, I do. You need to find out more about her.” “Okay, if that will make this easier I’ll,” Maddox turned to Harper and held both of her hands, “Stay.” “No.” “Harper, let me get them some answers and then…” “No, I’m going with you,” she stomped her foot. “Maybe your Mom needs your help,” Maddox looked down at her.
“I’ll be back by one, party starts at five. I’m going with you. I don’t need to meet her,” Harper turned to Tessa, “I’ll stay with Tomas.” “Are you asking permission? Because the answer will be not yet, Harper,” Tessa’s voice shook slightly. “Maddox, let's go,” Harper took his hand and walked into the house and grabbed a bag and threw clothes into it. “Hey,” he turned her towards him, “Stay, let them get used to the idea. I have a show in three days, come to that. Stay the night with me in New York. Fight that battle after your brother’s party.” “Is that what you want?” “I don’t want this to be a fight for you.” “I can make my own decisions.” “I’ll be traveling all summer right here in the United States. Make your decision then. I would love to have you with me.” She looked at the ground and closed her eyes. “Let’s be honest here, last night you said no. I think your choosing this time to rebel,” Maddox lifted her chin and smiled. “Better late than never,” Harper rolled her eyes. He hugged her and kissed her pouty lips, “I understand their reservations…” “You didn’t seem to then?” “I don’t like being told what to do,” he laughed softly, “We are both rebelling.” “Fine, you’ll come back though, right?” “Of course.”
“Good Morning New York!” Maddox yelled, smiling into the crowd, and T laughed. “Right now, there is no place I would rather be than in the United States! Hit it, T!” They played You Never, and the crowd went crazy. There she goes again smile on her pretty little face controlling my heart and setting its pace. Laughing and touching no more worlds apart. Moments of closeness race in my heart The music stops we still feel the song, moving us higher all night long. Breathe on my skin intoxicating scent The first time I Love you, that’s how it went. Don’t open your eyes you’ll miss her lips the sound deafening of empty clips You never should have loved me, and then you'd never leave me, standing outside in the rain, feeling all the hurt and pain. You never should have loved me, and then you couldn’t leave my head, heavy from, all the noise, looking for ways to fill your void. You never should have loved me, you never should have trusted, I could be the one for you, the one who would be worthy and true. You never should have loved me; you never should left me crying out in the night, waking to life’s endless fight. One more drink or two, I will see her soon and hold her under the spring’s full moon Holding, touching, swaying back and forth to the beat. You set the tempo I follow your feet You sing to me the sweetest melody. About healing love that makes you see me not one that hurts you not one that tears you away. A soft gentle song making your hips sway. A beat we created long, long ago, trying to move so slow One moment of anger and we let go. You never should have loved me, and then you’d never leave me, standing outside in the rain, feeling all the hurt and pain. You never should have loved me, and then you couldn’t leave my head, heavy from, all noise, looking for ways to fill your void. You never should have loved me, you never should have trusted, I could be the one for you, the one who would be worthy and true. You never should have loved me; yu never should left me crying out in the night, waking to life’s endless fight. How could I want this for you? You deserve better this we know is true. I’ll disappear from your life I will leave you alone.
Seeking solace in the knife twisting and turning until I take comfort in my sleep. How did this happen I ask to the sky, how did I hurt you enough not to say goodbye. You never should have loved me, and then you’d never leave me, standing outside in the rain, feeling all the hurt and pain. You never should have loved me, and then you couldn’t leave my head, heavy from, all noise, looking for ways to fill your void. You never should have loved me, you never should have trusted, I could be the one for you, the one who would be worthy and true. You never should have loved me, you never should left me crying out in the night, waking to life’s endless fight.
The song ended, and Matt walked on stage, “Maddox Hines, it has been a very long time, great to see you.” “Good to see you, too.” “What an amazing two years it has been for you and your band, Burning Souls.” Maddox waved the band over, “It has been unbelievable.” “I always thought your father’s music was deep, must be genetic huh?” “Possibly,” Maddox laughed. “So the United States tour starts off at Madison Square Garden in just a couple of days, how amazing is that?” “It’s amazing,” Maddox laughed. “So,” Matt looked over at Brody and smiled, “Do you get as angry as your father does when someone asks personal questions?” “I guess it depends on the question.” “Jazz and you live together?” “We are roommates and friends.” “That’s it?” Maddox looked at him and raised his eyebrow, “Yes.” Matt laughed, “So are you dating anyone?” “I have a girlfriend.” “Does she have a name?” “She does, and she has two arms, and two legs,” Maddox smiled. “How long have you been together?” Maddox laughed. “I don’t know how to answer that.” “No?” “She has been with me forever, in here,” Maddox put his hand on his heart. “You just broke some hearts here, Maddox.” “As long as I never break hers again I really don’t give a fu…” “Like father like son,” Matt looked at the camera, “Thank you to Burning Souls, we will be back in two.” The band signed autographs and made their way to the waiting limo. Jazz sat close to Maddox and grabbed his hand. He smiled at her and looked out the window, “You did great today, and I think I even saw you smile, Jazz.” “I smiled because you’re back,” she whispered, “It was hard to sleep in the hotel when you weren’t there.” “But you did it,” Maddox smiled at her. “Please don’t make me do it again, ever.” “Jazz, we need to talk about something.” “Harper?” “Yeah… Harper.” “Is she your girlfriend?” “Yes.”
“Why?” “You know how I feel about her.” “But you will sleep with me when we are home?” “Jazz, we’ve talked about this. We can't anymore okay?” He saw her normally emotionless face flash anger and then she closed her eyes, and it was gone. “You like me to touch you.” “We have talked about that too.” “Right.” “Jazz, I want you to meet her someday.” “No, I don’t need to.” “She knows about you.” Jazz turned and looked at him, “What did you tell her?” “She knows how we met, the first time. She knows we are only roommates, not dating. She knows we have shared a bed.” “She is okay with that?” “Not from this point forward.” “Hmm, then you will have to tell her she can't be your girlfriend.” “I won't be telling her that, Jazz.” “Then I will, so you don’t have to.” “No, that’s not going to happen. I love her Jazz, very much.” “Okay. We can all work it out, but you can’t leave me.” Maddox sat back trying to figure out the best way to do this. For a year, he had told her “no,” when she tried to seduce him. He even continued hooking up with occasional women and she acted as if it were a non-issue. She’d had sexual experiences with others. He had made it clear that they would be friends. He would help her get on her feet, so she no longer had to sell her body in order to feed herself. He had a piano instructor come to his home and teach her to play. She had learned quickly, and he often caught her playing in the middle of the night. She was so proud of herself, like a child who had learned to tie their shoes. That was the first time he caught her playing. It was then that she kissed him. He pulled away, and it killed him to see the excitement diminish from her face. He smiled and said he was sorry and kissed her very quickly on the lips. Her excitement returned, and they sat at the piano for hours as she played. Jazz had her first nightmare the very first night they had moved into the house. He went into her room, and it was torn apart. She was crouched in the corner, naked and rocking herself back and forth, her hands covering her ears. He held her and rocked her until she fell asleep just as she had done for him years ago. The limo pulled up to the hotel, and they got out. They rode the elevator to the twelfth floor in silence. The doors opened, and Zach was pacing. “Everything okay, Zach?” Maddox asked taking the room key out of his pocket. “NO! What the hell, how could you keep this from me?” Jazz looked at Maddox and walked behind him, “Let’s go in the room and we’ll talk, Zach.” Zach looked at Jazz, “Hey Jazz.” “Hey Zach.” She was confused. “How are you?” Maddox opened the door, and they walked in the suite. “What the hell happened in here?” Jazz looked at him, “I couldn’t sleep.” “So you trashed the place?” She looked at him and walked passed him into the bathroom. Zach looked at Maddox, “What the fuck are you doing?” “Who told you?”
“Doesn’t matter, but you should’ve!” “She is scared Zach, I told her I wouldn’t…” “Look around Maddox, look at this mess.” Maddox looked around and saw curtains pulled from the windows, bedding everywhere, lipstick drawings on the wall of stick figures, the couch cushions scattered everywhere, the mini bar was empty and the small bottles smashed everywhere. “Do you know why this happened, Maddox?” “She couldn’t sleep.” “Is this normal? Does this happen often?” “Not for a long time. She used to wake up and flip out. She doesn’t anymore; well… she hadn’t in a very long time.” “What changed that caused her to stop, Maddox?” Maddox looked at him and said nothing, “And you really think you can drag Harper into this?” Jazz came out wrapped in a small towel, and looked at them, “I need sleep. Maddox?” “Jazz, we just talked about this.” “I. Need. Sleep.” “Then go,” Maddox glared at her. “Come with me.” “Jazz, I am going back to my family for a couple days, until the concert. You can do this.” She looked shocked, “You’re leaving me for them?” “Jesus Christ, Maddox, see!” Zach snapped. “No, Zach, she really is fine, aren’t you Jazz?” She rolled her eyes, dropped the towel and turned and walked away. When the bedroom door closed Zach looked at Maddox, “You expect her to be fine after you have been banging her for two fucking years, Maddox?” “We have never had sex.” “Then explain what that was.” “She likes to be held so she can fall asleep.” “Butt ass naked?!” “Sometimes.” “You don’t see how wrong that is?” “It comforts her, Zach. Don’t fucking judge unless you have been there, buddy.” “What else?” “That’s none of you’re…” “I’ll tell him, Maddox,” Jazz walked out naked and picked up the towel and covered herself. “Sometimes I need him to touch me, would you like to know where?” “No Jazz, I can probably figure that out.” “And sometimes I wake him by touching him, should I tell you…” “Jazz, enough!” “No Maddox, I think everyone should know. Especially Harper. That’s the right thing to do, right Zach?” “Jazz you need someone to talk to. Someone who can help you.” “NO!” “Zach-- you need to leave.” “No Maddox, you can't do this alone. Jazz, he still has a lot to deal with too. You both need support and I am not trying to be an asshole here, but this is like two toddlers trying to raise each other.” “Fuck you,” Jazz lunged at him and he caught her arms.
“Enough, that’s enough! You go do whatever you need to do. Surge and I will take care of this.” “Don’t leave, Maddox, let me go!” Jazz kicked at Zach. “Get the hell out of here, Maddox!” “I can’t leave…” “GO!” “Don’t leave me with him; he is no better than all the others. Different women all the time, he…” “Zach, let go of her. I got this, just give me a few.” “Maddox, you have no idea what you are doing here. You are not helping her. And you certainly are not helping you!” “We don’t need you or anyone else!” Maddox grabbed the towel and took her in his arms, “Zach, clearly I need help, but not right now. Come on Jazz, let’s get you dressed.”
Maddox sat on the bedroom floor next to Brody. “Dad, I …” “It’s fine Maddox. We move forward and find a way to get you through this.” “And her Dad?” “We can try Maddox, but it’s not my priority.” “She is mine. I brought her into this. I thought she was getting better. I thought she was fine.” “Maddox, you are responsible to you. We will do whatever we can for her, but you can’t do this.” “I can’t walk away.”
- Jazz had a breakdown. I can’t leave her now. Not because I don’t want to be with you. I want to see you so badly. I screwed up, and I need to fix it. Dad and a few other people are going to help with it. I get that I can’t do this alone…MH - Okay…HA - Don’t be mad, please…MH - Not mad…HA - But not real talkative…MH - Busy, lots of things to do before everyone arrives…HA - OK, I’m sorry…MH - No big deal…HA Maddox read the text and sat back frustrated.
“Are you mad at me?” “No Jazz, we just need to figure it out.” “Are you leaving?” “No, not today.” “Is she mad at you?” “No.” “Why?” “Because she’s Harper.” “What does that mean?” “I can’t explain it.” “Does she love you?” “Yes.” “How do you know?” “She has accepted me always, Jazz. Flaws and all.” “Just like you have me.” Maddox looked up from the paper and into her light brown eyes. “It’s different.” “Why?” “Because she isn’t like us, she…” “That’s why you don’t want me? Because I’m a whore?” “Jazz, it’s not like that. It never was like that.” “Okay. Go to her.” “Are you going to trash the place again?” “No, I don’t think so.” Her voice was soft and sincere. “I’ll stay today, and go in the morning. Zach and Dad have a doctor coming for…” “No.” “Jazz, we need to get you through the nights.” “Will you be drugging me?” “No, it’s for anxiety. Not a drug, a pill to help you relax. They think it will help you.” “Did you take them?” “No, I had Dad and Emma and…” “I had you.” “We will always be friends Jazz, and we work together and…” “We live together,” she reminded him. “Right now yes, but not always.” “Because of Harper?” “Because it’s time, Jazz. It’s time for you to be happy with you, and maybe find someone to love.” “I love you.” “I love you to Jazz, like family which lasts forever okay? Just no more trashing places or touching me.” “Because of Harper.” “Because it’s time, Jazz.” “I want to meet her.”
“Why?” “Because it’s Harper.” “What does that mean, Jazz?” “I have heard of her for years. Maybe she will love me too.” Maddox smiled, “I know she would.” “Okay, when?” “After we see a doctor and figure this out.” “Okay.”
Jazz was sleeping comfortably in the adjacent room. She had been prescribed an anti-anxiety medication and given her first physical in many, many years. She did not argue when they drew blood, she didn’t even flinch. The next morning she didn’t wake easily. She was cranky and nervous. She cried when he said he was going to leave and that Surge was staying with her. She begged him to stay just one more day, and after the concert she promised he could go be with Harper. She begged to meet her first, and she knew once she saw her, she would be okay. - I have to stay one more night. Tomorrow night, come to the concert with Dad and Emma…MH - I’ll see if I can…HA - Do better than that…MH - I’ll try…HA - I miss you…MH There was no immediate response - Harper, I miss you…MH Again nothing - Well then fuck it…MH He tossed his phone and laid in his hotel bed. - Maddox I was talking to my parents…HA - Sorry…MH - It’s fine Maddox…HA Her phone rang, and she smiled when she saw his number. “Hello.” “Sorry I just thought you were blowing me off.” “I understand the feeling,” Harper giggled, and he laughed. “Not at all, Harper. I just didn’t expect her to act like this.” “I’m sorry you have to go through it.” “My own damn fault.” “Live and learn right?”
“Yeah, I suppose.” “Are you excited for tomorrow night?” “That all depends.” “Oh yeah, on what?” “Will you be in attendance?” “Hmm, I haven’t decided…” “Oh really?” “Do you think I should?” He laughed, “Yes, I do.” “Okay then, I will.” “They agreed?” “With Emma and Brody oh and Clive, and Surge. Who is Surge?” “My Tomas.” “Oh I see,” Harper laughed, “Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be normal?” “What do you mean?” “No tail. I mean it’s great to know you’re safe but really what is it like to be invisible just once?” Maddox laughed, “I have no clue.” “Okay, so I need to be a girl and decide what I am wearing tomorrow.” “As little as possible.” Harper laughed, “Oh really?” “It’s supposed to be hot out. I am just trying to make sure you’re comfortable.” “What are you wearing?” “Clothes,” he laughed. “Like skin tight leather pants and a ripped up shirt?” “No!” he laughed. “Not typical rock star get up, huh?” “Hell no, jeans and a tee,” Maddox laughed. “Do you wear make-up?” “I refuse to answer that.” “Oh my God, you do!” “Again, I refuse to answer that.” Harper laughed, “I can’t wait to see you.” “Stay with me tomorrow night?” Harper closed her eyes and didn’t reply. “I’m not going to try to get in your panties.” “That’s good because I wasn’t planning on wearing any,” Harper whispered. “Fuck Harper,” Maddox groaned. Harper laughed, “I was just joking… I have always wanted to use that line though.” “Tease.” “You going to sing that song again tomorrow night?” “No Harper. I could have made millions on that one song alone, and I refused to record it.” “Could have donated the money to a charity.” “Oh yeah, Fuck You helps feed the children?” Harper laughed, “Yeah… that would not be cool.” “Did you see the show?” “I did.” “The interview?”
“Yes.” “Do you know who I was talking about?” “Hmm, maybe you could tell me.” “You, Harper, mine.” She giggled. “Get some sleep, I’ll see you soon.” He hung up the phone and laid back down and fell asleep thinking about tomorrow.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN The Garden Harper looked in the dressing room mirror. She wore a black tank top adorned with sparkling rhinestones that spelled out ROCK and short white shorts. Her straightened, sun- bleached blonde hair hung down her back, just below her bra strap. She pulled her black cropped jacket off the back of the chair and put it on, covering herself a bit. Her make-up was applied lightly; something she had avoided doing for nearly two years, but decided tonight she needed a little something special. She looked down and laughed at her choice of shoes. Black chucks See not all groupie looking she laughed to herself. Tomas was standing outside giving her privacy. He was like family; she loved him and knew he loved her. He also gave her more privacy than her father would, which was very much appreciated. There was a knock at the door, and she sat in the chair in front of the lighted mirror, “Enter.” “Oh wow, I think I have the wrong room, I thought this was mine.” Harper rolled her eyes and stuck her nose in the air, “No-- mine.” It only took three strides for him to move from the door to her. He leaned down restraining her wrists gently to the arms of the chair, “All mine.” His lips covered hers, and he groaned as he sucked them lightly pulling them out with his own, “You look fucking beautiful.” Harper’s eyes sparkled, and she smiled brightly, “You look very handsome.” “Shit, I was going for hot,” he smiled and kissed her neck. His lips ran across the rhinestones on her shirt, and she giggled, “Rock, huh? I thought I had a country girl.” “Things are ‘a changing.” She grabbed his hair and pulled his head back and kissed him hard, her mouth covering his. He held the back of her head firmly against is chest and walked to the couch and laid her down. His tongue lightly stroked hers. “Delicious,” he kissed down her shirt, pushing the bottom of her tank top up with his nose and started dipping his tongue into her belly button. “Hold up there, cowboy,” Harper whimpered. He laughed against her stomach, “There is no cowboy here sweetness. All rock star, and I am about to make you scream for more.” “Oh yeah?” Harper pushed herself up on her elbows and looked down at him, “Getting a little ahead of yourself aren’t you?” “Two years’ worth of making up to get underway. I would say I am a little bit,” he sat on his knees and lifted her legs up high and bit her ass lightly and she squealed, “Behind.” “Maddox Hines,” she tried to squirm away. “Yeah, sweetness?” “Slow down,” she smiled shyly. “You make everything feel better, Harper. I just thought I would return the favor,” he gave a little nervous laugh and lowered her legs and sat on the edge of the couch. Harper sat up next to him and elbowed him softly, “Just don’t wanna get banged backstage at a rock concert. Too cliché.” He looked at her, “I wouldn’t bang you in the dressing room, Harper, not the first time anyway.” “Okay,” Harper giggled. “A hotel room, candles, music, lots and lots of time to work you up,” “Work me up?” Harper laughed.
“Yeah,” he looked at her and winked. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Let’s just say you will be begging before…” Maddox turned his head towards the door as it was opening. Jazz stopped when she saw Harper, “That’s far enough,” Tomas’ deep voice came from directly behind her. “Is this her?” Maddox stood and smiled, “Jazz this is Harper, Harper this is my friend Jazz.” “Hi Jazz,” Harper smiled softly and stood up. Jazz looked at her briefly before turning towards Maddox, “She’s blonde.” “I told you that,” Maddox’s voice was gentle yet firm. “She’s tall.” Harper looked down. “Blue eyes, needs more makeup,” Harper closed her eyes. “Jazz, that’s enough,” Maddox warned. “She has huge boobs, is that what it is?” “I’ll see you on stage, Jazz.” “Nice to meet you, Jazz,” Harper called as Jazz went out the door. “Nice to meet you?” “She freaked me out.” “She thinks you have nice tits.” “Great,” Harper laughed. “Was it that awful?” “Weird.” “Alright sweetness, time for me to get out there. Walk with me?” “Maybe I should stay…” “Oh no you don’t,” Maddox picked her up and kissed her, “Walk or I’ll carry you out there right on stage.”
Maddox stood away from the band holding Harper’s face in his hands. His forehead held against hers, stroking his nose slowly across hers. T, Zach, and Jazz took the stage, and the crowd screamed-- it was deafening. He took her hand and held it to his chest, and his heart began to beat faster. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. “This happens every time I’m about ready to perform onstage.” “That’s pretty cool.” “The only other time it happens, Harper, is when I think about being inside of you.” Holy Shit, she felt her face turn red. “Don’t blush sweetness; think back… it’s been happening for three years,” Maddox smiled when he heard T tapping his sticks, “That’s my cue.” He kissed her lips and went to pull away; she bit down on his lower lip and ran the tip of her tongue slowly across it. His eyes closed, and he let out a deep breath and she let go. “What are you trying to do to me?” “Good luck, Maddox.” “Yeah,” he pulled her tightly against him and kissed her several times softly and sweetly. He stepped back and winked, “Be back soon.” When Maddox bound on the stage the crowd went wild, “Hello, New
York!” They screamed even louder, “Thanks for having us here tonight. I’m Maddox Hines and we are Burning Souls!” Emma walked over to Harper and smiled, “How are things?” “Great,” Harper looked quickly at Emma and then back to the stage. “He’s good,” Emma smiled. “He is amazing,” Harper corrected her and laughed. Harper watched him play his guitar and sing, dance, and jump around. He was very comfortable with the crowd, not nervous like he had seemed at O2 before the lovely song that still left a bitter taste in her mouth. But he had changed. He and T looked like they had so much fun together, truly friends. She looked at Jazz, whose focus was unbreakable. She was just over five feet tall, and very petite. She was pretty, and Harper imagined she would be prettier without so much dark make up on. Zach was definitely playing for the ladies in the crowd. He was very handsome. Tall, sharp features and built well. He had a definite badass look to him. T was adorable with blonde hair, blue eyes, just at six feet tall and lean. His hair was spiked in a faux hawk tonight and watching him was a show in of its own. Maddox stalked off stage, eyes fixed on Harper. His gray tee shirt was drenched with sweat, and he toweled off his hair as he continued walking towards her. He grabbed her and hugged her, tightly nipping her neck and then covering it with kisses. “Hey there, animal,” she laughed. “Animal, huh?” “Yeah, and you are getting me all wet,” she pulled away. “Then I’m doing my job properly,” Maddox laughed and stepped away. He took her hand pulling her behind him down the hall. They walked into his dressing room and pulled off his shirt. She looked away, and he laughed. He grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from his body and grabbed another shirt and put it on. Harper looked up and smirked, “You peeking at me?” She nodded her head yes. “Good. Did you like the show?” “Which one?” She smiled. “Aw, first half of the show, you funny girl.” “Intermission has been pretty cool.” He walked towards her, pulled her into him, and kissed her quickly, “Wait till the after show.” “Oh?” “Private show, you wanna come?” Maddox smiled as if he was enjoying a secret. “Sure?” Maddox laughed, “Got to get back out there, let’s go,” Maddox took her hand and walked to the stage’s wing where Harper would stand and watch the second half of the show. “Wait here, I need a drink, you want one?” Harper nodded her head yes. Harper smiled at the ground and hugged herself. “You think he loves you?” Harper turned around and saw Jazz standing behind her. She looked over Jazz, Tomas was looking at her. “Jazz, I…” “No, you really thinks he loves you. He doesn’t, he just wants to fuck you. Then you’ll be out of his nightmares, and he will be done with you,” Jazz smiled. “Jazz, that’s not how it is with Maddox and me,” Harper looked sadly at her. “This isn’t to hurt you. I would really like to be your friend.” “Maddox is my friend, you are not,” Jazz smiled at her and looked up as Maddox walked quickly towards them. “Everything okay?” “Yes,” Harper smiled and looked at Maddox, “I was just telling Jazz I would like us to be friends.” Jazz smiled and walked away.
Maddox handed her a bottle of water, “How did that go?” “Not well,” Harper scowled. “Thanks for trying Harper, but I’ll handle this,” Maddox kissed her and looked at Tomas briefly, “Thirty minutes on stage, thirty minutes to sign autographs and take pictures with the backstage passers, and then the rest of the night in heaven.” He kissed her again and walked quickly out to the screaming crowd. Tomas walked up to Harper, arms folded over his chest and looked her directly in the eyes, “She is going to be trouble, Miss Harper.” “She’ll come around,” Harper smiled and looked off stage. “Harper, never alone with her do you understand?” “Tomas, I’m not stupid.” “I know that. But your eyes are not focused on anything, but that boy. You need to…” “That’s what I have you for Tomas,” Harper smiled and kissed his cheek quickly.
Brody stood against the wall-- arms crossed and brows knit together. Emma walked over to him and smiled, “You alright?” “Nope,” he kissed the top of her head swiftly and continued looking onstage. “Penny for your thoughts?” “I don’t have a good feeling about this.” “Tessa said that they leave in a week and will be gone for a month.” “You really think she’s going to agree to that?” “I trust that she will.” “And what about Maddox, he has this tour and…” “He’ll be very busy. I hope he’ll let us help out with Jazz and we can get her head on straight.” “She has been part of his everyday life for a year, Emma. Without a doubt, she will be an issue, but I think we are underestimating how he is going to feel.” “You think he loves her?” “Not the way he feels for Harper. He feels responsible for her, which may pose more of a problem.” “So we fix it for him.” “How much has he allowed us to help him with since Jazz came into the picture?” “We just have to push harder.” “And if he resists?” “Then we keep pushing.” Brody smiled at her and pulled her back against his chest, “Alright then.”
Harper’s phone vibrated in her jacket pocket. She pulled it out and saw the picture ID of her and her mother, “Hey Mom!” “Hi Harper, I miss you,” Tessa was quieter than normal.
“I would say the same, but I am at an amazing show, and I would be lying!” Tessa laughed, “What are your plans for tonight?” “Um, I don’t know yet.” There was silence on the line, and Harper felt her face warming. She was glad there was a distance between them. Her mother would know her intentions immediately if she could see her. “Okay. We’re going to all be leaving in a few days to head back to South Africa for a few weeks.” “Okay… I figured we would be going somewhere.” “So enjoy spending time with Maddox. But Harper, remember who you are,” Tessa’s voice cracked. “I’ll be home tomorrow, Mom,” Harper said softly. “I know, but tonight Harper, remember who you are alright?” “I will, I love you Mom.” “I love you.” Harper shoved the phone in her pocket and took a deep breath and looked back on stage at Maddox. The lights dimmed, and it was dark. She felt someone beside her, “That was awesome!” She turned and hugged who she thought was Maddox and the lights came back on. Harper’s arms dropped quickly, “I am so sorry.” “You want to be my friend?” “Yes,” Harper looked for Tomas and he was walking quickly towards her. “Why?” her glare was intense and Jazz grabbed her hand, “Why?” Maddox ran off stage and grabbed Harper, “Jazz get back out there, we have one more song!” Jazz stood still holding Harper’s hand staring into her eyes, “Jazz!” She finally blinked and looked at Maddox, “GO!” She looked down and walked off stage, “You okay?” The hair on the back of her neck stood straight up, and she laughed making light of what had just happened, “I am fine, go.” “We can leave.” “Don’t be silly, go.” Maddox looked at Tomas, and he nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
Harper and Emma sat in the dressing room waiting for Maddox. “Harper, are you alright?” “Just tired,” Harper smiled and stood up. “What did she say to you?” “She wanted to know why I said I wanted to be her friend.” “Did you tell her you did?” Harper nodded her head yes. “Okay. Harper, do you think that’s possible?” “Maybe not right now. I know she’s hurting, and I know how I may feel if I were her.” “So how do you see this playing out?” “I’m not really sure.” “Do you think Maddox is going to be able to walk away from her, Harper?” “I don’t know honestly. I thought at first it would all work out, but…”
“But then she scared the hell out of you?” “She is very intimidating. She has lived through hell. I’m glad she has Maddox to help her,” Harper felt dizzy and sat down quickly. “Are you okay?” “Yes, I just know he won't be able to walk way, and I need to be her friend and I am willing, but…” “You have to think this through. It really is none of my business, but I love you very much and want you to be alright.” “Thanks. Why won’t she just try to be my friend?” “Harper, Maddox cares so much about you. He probably has since you and he …Since you met. You were kind, gentle, and stuck by him. His first friend, his first kiss, the first person outside of us that accepted him and who saw him for who he is not what had happened to him. Harper looked up, “I feel the same. He is the first person I could really talk to, my first kiss, and I have missed him so much.” “Jazz has deeper issues than I believe even Maddox had. And, Harper, he was her first friend. Look what he has done for her. Do you know she never had played an instrument before? He hired someone to teach her. He clothed her, fed her, and gave her a safe home. Please watch your back and go slow with this.” Maddox walked in the door and looked down, “Hey.” “Hi,” Harper smiled wryly. Emma stood up and hugged Maddox, “Great show.” “Thanks,” he hugged her back. “Plans for tonight?” “I want to take Harper on a date,” Maddox smiled. “Sounds fun, Surge will be there?” “Yes and Tomas I assume,” Maddox looked at Harper. She smiled and nodded yes. “See you later, Harper?” “Yep.” Harper hugged her. When Emma left, Maddox smiled, “You okay?” Harper nodded yes, “Cool, the band just left and the crew is clearing the stage. I want to shower and then I have some things planned. I need to know if you are really okay.” “I am,” she smiled and looked down, “We should get going.” “I’m going to shower and change. Tomas is outside the door. I’ll be right back,” Maddox took her hands and pulled her towards him. He lifted her chin and licked his lips slowly his head tilted to the left, and she closed her eyes and lifted her head in anticipation of his kiss. He kissed her cheek softly and pulled back. She opened her eyes and looked confused. He turned and walked away. Harper laughed and flopped on the couch when the door shut behind him. She sat for a few moments and then stood and walked to the mirror. She brushed her hair and looked at herself again. She pawed through her bag and grabbed her toothbrush and paste. She brushed her teeth and spit in the empty water bottle. Real classy, she thought as she buried it in the garbage. There was a knock at the door, and she opened it. “Can I have your bag?” “Sure,” Harper handed the bag to Tomas. “Surge and I are here, you’re safe, and Maddox is waiting for you on stage,” Tomas looked away. “What?” “Your date, Harper, is waiting on stage,” Tomas extended his arm showing her the way. Harper giggled and hugged him quickly and walked towards the stage. She saw Surge standing in the wing, he nodded to the stage, and she smiled at him. She turned and looked up from the ground. Maddox was
standing in the center holding a guitar. It was not the same one he played tonight; it was an older acoustic guitar. He was surrounded by dozens of candles and looking down as he picked at the chords. He looked up and smiled, “You wanna come out here? Or am I on my own?” Harper smiled and walked out towards him. He pointed to a chair, “Have a seat.” Harper sat and played nervously with her hands. “I have grown a lot in the past two years. A lot of crazy shit has happened, most of it I wish I could change, but the fact is; all the mistakes and choices I have made lead me right back to you. I tried really hard to forget about you. I wanted better for you. I tried like crazy to ignore the truth: you are supposed to be with me and I am supposed to be with you. I know I’m not alone in this.” Maddox smiled, “I want a do over. I want tonight to take us back to the first time I told you I loved you. Before drugs, and booze, and girls, and rotten spiteful songs. Back to the night you put a name to my feelings.” Maddox took a deep breath and chuckled nervously, “Not to ruin the moment, but if you ever tell anyone I know this song I’ll be really tempted to kick your ass, Harper.” She giggled, and he began to play. She quickly realized what song it was. And she felt her eyes burning instantaneously. She had played the song on repeat every night and cried herself to sleep for two weeks after he left the camp. “Don’t cry,” He whispered and began to sing. “You know I fell apart without you, I don’t know how you did what you did. ‘Cause everything that made no sense about me made sense when I was with you…” He changed some of the words and did his own rendition of the song. He stopped singing after the first chorus, and the rest of the song began to fill the air. He walked to her and held out his hand, and she gave him hers. He pulled her up into his arms, “Sing to me?” Harper smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, and he wiped her tears, “Happy tears?” She nodded her head yes and tried to kiss him, “Sing with me?” “Sure,” Harper sang softly as they danced and held each other and just like the last time they danced, he slowly twirled her and brought her back to his chest. “Okay sweetness, we have places to go,” he pointed up to the sky, and she saw a helicopter starting to descend. “Shut up!” Harper laughed. “We were going to fly back to your place, but that would be four hours in that thing. Four hours that you and I could not be alone,” he looked off stage at Tomas and Surge, “Well, as alone as we’re ever going to get for a long time,” Maddox laughed and waved them over. “Let’s go.” They flew over the city, the pilot pointed out the Statue of Liberty, each of the five borough’s, the Empire State Building, Radio City where she thought Maddox should play for his daughter’s twelfth birthday, Central Park, the new twin towers, and many other areas in the city. The lights were beautiful, the city was beautiful, but Harper was anxious for what was next. They landed high atop a building near Central Park. Maddox smiled and thanked the pilot. Maddox took Harper’s hand and walked through the door leading to the elevator. Surge and Tomas were right behind them. The elevator ride was a short one. One floor down to the penthouse suite. Tomas punched in the code and the elevator door opened, Surge and Tomas both walked in and began searching the suite. “They’re not staying,” Maddox kissed Harper’s head and began walking out, “Harper?” She looked nervous. “I need a minute,” she stepped back into the elevator and Maddox quickly stopped the door from shutting with his foot. “You can take all the time you need, Harper, but please do it in here. Those two will have a fit if you disappear,” Maddox smiled, “Took a lot of convincing them to approve my plan. Honestly, it was easier negotiating the record deal.” Harper took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Maddox looked at her and smiled, “Hey, no expectations here, okay?” “A hotel room does not insinuate no expectations, Maddox,” Harper began to rub her neck.
Maddox laughed, “Well this is kind of like prom night; you’re heating up on me, Harper Ann.” She walked in and folded her arms across her chest. Tomas and Surge walked out. Tomas looked at Harper, “You okay?” She smiled and nodded her head yes, “You have your phone?” “Yes,” she pulled it out of her pocket and he took it and pushed some buttons and handed it back to her. “Charge it,” Tomas grabbed her and hugged her, “Remember who you are.” Harper started to laugh, “Tomas, you hugged me.” “Unprofessional, I apologize,” he stepped back, “Everything is secure here, Harper, there are also two rooms. If something doesn’t feel right, call me. I have the car and I can get you back home whenever you want.” Harper hugged him and smiled, “Thanks, I’m fine.” Maddox stood back and watched them and then disappeared into the other room. When Tomas and Surge left, Harper walked out on the balcony and looked out at the city lights. She took a deep breath, stood up, and turned around. Maddox was leaning against the doorway watching her, “Are you okay?” She nodded her head yes and smiled, “It’s really beautiful out here.” “Should we eat dinner out here?” “It’s like midnight.” “I’m starving.” “Well you should be, animal,” she laughed. “Are you poking fun at me?” “Oh no way. You were amazing. If I shook my ass that much I would be out already,” Harper walked towards him, “And if I stuffed myself, I would be asleep forever.” Maddox smiled, “Nothing heavy, pasta and salad, oh and some fruit.” “Alright then. Let’s feed you,” Harper smiled as she walked past him. He grabbed her hand, “Follow me.” They walked into the bedroom, and there were candles lit and soft music in the background. Harper rubbed her neck and closed her eyes. Maddox smiled and flipped on the lights. She opened her eyes and looked at him, “Sorry I’m being so…” “Don’t be sorry, Harper. I have had years of dreaming up this night, wanting it to be perfect, romantic,” he chuckled nervously and pulled out the chair for her. Harper sat down, “Years of practice, huh?” He sat and tilted his head and looked confused, “No not practice, daydreams of you’” Harper laughed, “That’s funny, why?” “Let's not play the innocent card, Maddox, I heard the stories, saw some videos and pictures,” Harper laughed and picked up her fork. Maddox sat back and looked at her, “Harper did any of the videos or pictures you saw show me on a romantic date?” “Most of what I saw where you holding the door of the limo while someone…” “Ninety-nine percent were blondes.” “O…kay?” Harper laughed nervously. “Let’s get this all out shall we?” “No, it’s not necessary.” “Sure it is, ask me anything you wish,” Maddox grabbed his water glass and took a drink, then leaned back, rocking in his chair looking smug. Harper looked up at him and put her fork down, “How about you save me the embarrassment and tell me of all your conquests.” He smiled and laughed out loud, “Blondes, I prefer them, Harper. Do you want to know why?”
“Because they’re more fun?” Maddox laughed again, “Sure. And before I tell you everything I want to lead with this: I can assure you that this conversation will end with you on that bed anxious to have me inside of you.” “You are pretty sure of yourself aren’t you?” Harper scowled. “As a matter of fact I am,” Maddox leaned forward and pushed his silver covered tray away. “I already told you I have only kissed two other people, you were there for one of them, the only other one that was not a quick peck.” “Oh right,” Harper huffed, “great night.” “Okay so we are going to argue tonight, perfect. We’re good at that. But just so you know, it’ll end the same as I told you it would,” Maddox winked. “Okay let's start with oral sex. After every concert, except that first one at O2 and tonight, I have been given at least one blow job in my dressing room. All blondes and all eager to please. It starts out the same. T and I smoke a little pot or hash, have a beer and relax. They come in two by two and I pick from there. All blondes all eager to please, non-minors and none looking for anything but to blow a rock star. My cock in their hands as they stroke me and then there lips wrapped around it. I sit back and watch them suck me off until my cum fills their mouth and they swallow it.” “Maddox I don’t…” “No, please keep listening. I watch the back of their heads bobbing up and down, and I think of you.” “Is that supposed to turn me on?” Harper sneered. “That’s not the point, Harper, but if it works for you,” Harper picked up her napkin and threw it at him, and he laughed. “Occasionally I squeezed a tit, but not often.” “Do you like that word?” “Tit?” “Yes.” “I love it, makes me a little hard actually. You wanna see?” “Okay Romeo, you’re losing me here, you know.” “Possibly for a moment, but I’m still pretty sure of myself about that bed.” “Arrogant ass.” “Your nipples are hard, Harper.” Her face turned red, and he laughed,” I can make you cum with one hand barely touching you.” “Okay look…” Maddox stood and swiftly moved to her, “Listen to me, Harper.” He picked her up and sat her on the bed. “I know how long you have waited for this. I know you want me, all of me. Just as bad as I want you.” Maddox kissed her, and she tried to pull back, “Don’t Harper, this is our time. Right here, right now.” “NO! You expect me to still want this when you just told me all that?” Maddox sat back on his knees, “What I just told you is the women you saw pictures of meant nothing to me, Harper… that it was always you I wanted.” Harper sat up and scooted against the head board, “How would you feel if I said the same?” “I would know it wasn’t true. I know you, Harper.” “Well I never thought you would do all that.” “Either did I, but it brought me here with you.” “And there with all them and then let’s not forget about Jane.” “Is that what this is about? Is she in your head, Harper? Because she is not in mine, there is only you. My first friend, my first kiss, the first person whose body I touched…” Harper jumped off the bed and he grabbed her quickly around the waist, “You will hear me out.” “And then you’ll be taking my virginity, Maddox, I don’t think so.” Harper tried to pull away.
He held her and sat against the headboard and pulled her back to his chest, “You asked me if I had sex with her and I told you no. I just told you about the others, Harper. I know you love me, and you know damn well I feel the same. I want you to know everything and would have preferred you ask but now you’re angry at me. I don’t want it like this either. So just lay here with me… PG Harper. If that’s all it is, I will take it gladly and gratefully.” Harper sat stiffly against him. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned forward resting her chin to her knees. They sat there quietly for a long time and he rubbed her back. His stomach growled loudly, and she snickered. “That’s funny?” “Go eat, Maddox.” “Come with me?” “It’s right there, three feet from us. You worked your ass off tonight go eat.” Maddox moved from behind her and sat at the table. He pushed his food around and took a few bites. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, hoping she would fall asleep. He walked out, and she was gone. He looked around, and she was not in the room or the living area. He walked out, and she was leaning against the railing on the balcony again. “Hey, I’m sorry,” Maddox walked up to the railing and leaned against it a few feet from her. “No, I need to get over it Maddox. I’m probably the only twenty year old virgin in this city.” Maddox smiled and stood up, “I’ll be with you shortly. It’s cold out here…” “What did you just say?” “Really trying to kill the ego tonight, Harper. Come on, it’s cold out here.” “You said,” Harper’s jaw dropped. Maddox looked at her and shook his head, “I just told you that inside.” “Well, why?” Harper’s voice was louder than she expected, and she covered her mouth. He looked at her and seeking the right words, he shook his head and walked towards the door, “I’m tired, so whenever you’re done out here, I’ll be in bed. If you don’t…” “Hey Maddox,” Harper’s voice shook and he turned around, “I love you.” He smiled, “I know. Goodnight, Harper.” “Hey Maddox.” He turned back, and she pulled the sash on her robe, and it fell open, “I’m naked under here.” He closed his eyes and his jaw flexed, “We can wait.” “That wasn’t very convincing.” He opened his eyes, “You are so fucking beautiful.” “You are so fucking hot,” she smiled. “You’re sure about this?” “Yeah, I am,” Harper smiled. “Should we go in?” “How about right here?” Harper dropped the robe, and he groaned loudly. He looked up laughed and then grabbed her robe and covered her. “That’s mine,” he laughed as he lifted her up, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her legs around him. “And you’re mine.” “Yeah, most definitely. You ready to meet Thumper?” “What?” Harper laughed. “Fucking insanely twitterpated right now,” his mouth covered hers and his hand cupped between her legs and she gasped. He carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed. He sat back on his knees, and she grabbed the covers, “Oh hell no.” “But…”
“You are the most beautiful women I have ever seen Harper, do not cover yourself. I want to memorize every part of your body. And then I am going to kiss you everywhere.” “Maddox…” “I love you; let me show you how much.” He laid on top of her and kissed her, pulling her hair away from her face. “Are you okay?” “Yes,” she blushed. “We are going to go really slow Harper. I am not going to hurt you; I am going to love you.” Harper nodded her head and pulled the back of his shirt over his head; he smiled and pulled it off the rest of the way. Maddox’s broad shoulders lead to his long strong arms. His chest was broad, much broader than two years ago. She rubbed her finger tips across the sparse hair running down his toned six pack and he moved slightly. His sapphire blue eyes were hooded and darker than usual. “You’re so perfect,” she closed her eyes and smiled. He took her hand and held it above her head and lightly kissed her neck as he kneaded her breast, gently. She arched her back into his touch and tried to muffle the approaching whimper she felt raising in her throat. “I want to hear you, Sweetness,” Harper opened her eyes and looked into his, they were dark and glazed. His face was flush and the muscles in his jaw flexed. She leaned up and kissed his jaw and then pulled his hair lightly so that his lips were on hers. He stroked her tongue with his, the same tempo his hands kept on her breast. She let her hands slide down his back and his muscles flexed, and he chuckled. “Easy there.” “Are you ticklish?” “Apparently,” he kissed down her neck and stopped and looked up, “I am going to taste your tits, Sweetness.” Harper’s eyes widened and, and he licked lightly across her taut nipple. She gasped and threw her head back into the pillow, “Dear god.” He sucked lightly, and she whimpered. His other hand lightly rubbed her other breast as he sucked hard pulling her nipple out with his lips, he groaned loudly and did it again. “Harper, you are so red, like little fucking cherries” he sucked again and then bit lightly. “Oh…ahh…” Harper’s back arched into his mouth. “That’s it Sweetness,” he sucked and nipped again and then moved to the other. He held her nipple between his teeth and pulled lightly and she moaned. Her body shook slightly and she started to tense up. He moved back up to her lips and kissed her gently, sweetly, “Are you okay?” She opened her eyes and they appeared moist, “Yes.” Her head was spinning and she felt her body temperature rising. He kissed her neck again, and she whimpered. He moved down her chest kissing, licking and sucking slowly and softly. His hands rubbed up and down her sides slowly. He kissed down her stomach her back arched into his kiss automatically. “Stop, oh God…. Maddox, please.” He sat up on his knees between her legs, “Talk to me, what’s wrong.” “It feels,” she grabbed the blanket and pulled it over her, “I am embarrassed.” He smiled and leaned down and kissed her stomach and unbuttoned his loose jeans. He stood off the bed and pulled them down and kicked them off, “So then I should feel, exposed as well.” He turned around and pulled his black boxer briefs down. Harper looked at his bare backside and bit her lip. His narrow hips led to his amazing ass. It was beautiful, and she giggled as he bent and his muscles flexed. “Are you laughing at my ass, Harper?” Maddox looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. “That is a beautiful ass, Maddox.” He smiled and turned around, completely and totally naked. He was hard and large-- her eyes widened, and she looked away. He sat at the end of the bed and looked at her, “Lose the blanket.” She shook her head no, and he laughed and grabbed her arm and pulled her up.
He pulled her onto his lap and she gasped when their bodies touched, “I don’t think it’s going to work?” “No?” he kissed her neck. “Maddox, I’m scared,” Harper rested her forehead to his chest. “Of what?” “It’s big,” she whispered. “You’ll stretch Harper, and I won’t push you any further than you’re willing to go.” His hands rubbed her chest again. She lifted her head and smiled nervously and moved closer to him. He moaned loudly and his eyes rolled slightly, and he took a deep breath, “So fucking close.” She felt him twitch against her. “Lay back and trust me.” Harper leaned back still on his lap, and he looked down, “Aw fuck, so pretty and pink.” He threw the duvets on the floor and lifted her hips as he bent and kissed her inner thigh he pushed her body up the bed and bent over her kissing her from hip to hip. His tongue ran down her pelvic bone, and she gasped loudly and then held her breath. His hand found its way to her chest as he kissed his way lower. He licked her slit lightly from back to front, and she cried out. He continued a little deeper carefully avoiding her bundle of nerves. His tongue circled her, her hips pushed towards him, and he growled as she cried out louder, “Oh, please stop.” He sucked gently on her soft lips, and she whimpered loudly. “You sure you want me to stop?” he asked and licked her again from back to front, stopping before her hitting her sweet spot. “No,” she moaned and he laughed and she screamed out his name, “Please…” Maddox gently inserted one finger in her, and her toes curled into the bed. He lifted her leg over his shoulder, ran his nose across her, and she dug her toes into his back. He curled his finger upward hitting her g-spot, and he felt her body begin to quiver, “That’s it, Sweetness” he pushed another finger into her and made a slow circular motion and he continued using his tongue circling her clit. She started to clench her knees and he nipped her inner thigh and then plunged his tongue just inside her opening and licked up hard, and she grabbed his hair and screamed out his name as the heat exploded around her and spread through her vagina, contracting around his still moving fingers. He kissed his way up her belly when her body started to relax. He smiled when he saw her flushed chest and neck, and a lazy smile sprawled across her face. “I fucking love you,” she whispered. He laughed and kissed her cheek, “I fucking love you too Sweetness.” “Maddox, what is with you calling me Sweetness?” He kissed her lightly on the lips, “Your taste, and your scent, so sweet.” He pushed himself off the bed and stood up, “Need to rest?” “Oh no, I want more,” she pushed herself up on her elbow and looked at him and blushed. “You sure?” “Yeah,” she smiled and flopped back, covered her face and giggled, “Yeah.” “I’ll go grab a condom, and be right back,” Maddox walked into the bathroom as Harper watched his ass flex with each step. “Oh my God,” she giggled to herself and covered her face. Maddox returned quickly and opened the foiled package and rolled the condom on. He walked over to the bed and pulled the covers from the floor and leaned over her body and covered them. “No blankets,” Harper blushed. Maddox smiled and kissed her tenderly, “You’re sure?” Looked down and then closed her eyes, “Yes, are you?” Maddox laughed, and she opened her eyes and looked at his shyly. He closed his eyes and kissed her
and let his body cover hers. His skin was hot, and his hands moved to her breasts again, “I really like these.” “They really like you.” Harper reached down between them and held him in her hand, and he groaned into her mouth and kissed her harder. She spread her legs and rubbed him against her, “Aw, damn,” he groaned, “So warm.” He held himself up on one elbow and reached down and rubbed her softly, and she shuttered, he kissed her and then bowed his head and kissed her breasts as he slipped a finger inside of her. She bit her lip as he rubbed himself against her opening. His breath hitched, and he clenched his jaw. He held himself in his hand as he slowly pushed into her. He began circling her clit with his thumb, and she moaned and pushed slowly into him. His mouth opened slightly, and his breath became faster. She pushed into him more, moaning loudly. “Oh, God,” she felt her insides contract as he continued circling her, “Wow, holy shit. Maddox damn it just, oh God! Just fuck me!” Maddox jaw dropped and he felt her spasm around him as she arched her back, he pushed into her, and she yelped, he stilled and she opened her eyes and looked at him, he looked horrified. “I’m falling apart right now, do this with me please,” She clenched her jaw and pushed into him again and cried out. She opened her eyes and looked up at Maddox who sat back on his heels pulling her with him. He held her hips and pulled her tightly against him and groaned loudly. “Yes,” she whimpered. “Yeah,” he asked crashing into her again. “God, yes,” Harper smiled and moaned. “Okay, let's try to get all the way in now okay?” Harper stopped and looked up at him, “What?” “What do you mean, ‘what’? I don’t understand what you’re asking, Harper.” She propped her elbows behind her and looked down, “Oh, wow.” “Relax and lean back,” Maddox pushed in slowly one arm wrapped under her back holding her. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked then began rubbing around her clit again, and she began to move into his hand. Each time he moved a little further until finally, “Aw, damn Harper.” “Damn meaning good or bad,” she moaned. “Oh so fucking good,” he pulled her up onto him and kissed her hard on the mouth. He pulled her legs around him and laid down on the bed and continued slowly moving in and out until he fell apart. He lay panting on top of her: kissing her head and rubbing her legs that were still wrapped tightly around him. She rubbed his back and kissed his neck. He let out a deep breath and pushed himself off of her and looked at her peacefully lying with her eyes closed, “You asleep?” “Almost,” she smiled with her eyes still closed. “Okay, I am going to take care of this,” he smiled and looked down she opened her eyes and sat up. “You want some help?” He laughed, “I think I can handle it, you hungry?” “Uh, are you?” “Yeah.” She jumped off the bed and bent down to grab his tee shirt. He watched her and immediately his body came back to life. She put his shirt on and turned around and smiled, “I am going to warm this up for you.” “You don’t have…” She kissed him quickly, “I want to, go take care of that.”
Maddox walked into the bathroom and groaned as he pulled the condom off. He jumped in the shower and washed up quickly and wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out. Harper was sitting on the bed smiling. “Nice towel, lose it.” He laughed and grabbed his bag. “Please,” Harper whispered. Maddox looked at her and smiled his shy smile. “Lose the shirt.” Harper quickly pulled the shirt off and smiled. Maddox took a deep breath and dropped the towel exposing his erection. “Wow.” “Yeah,” he blushed. “Hi there Thumper.” “Christ, Harper,” Maddox shifted uncomfortably. Harper giggled, “He is beautiful, Maddox.” He rolled his eyes and flopped back on the bed. She stood up and carried the tray to the nightstand beside him and set it down. He looked at her naked body standing beside him. She sat with her back to him and looked at his erection, “Hey there, Thumper.” She leaned down and kissed its head. “Harper,” Maddox growled. She looked behind her, “You quiet down, I’m trying to have a conversation here.” “Oh yeah?” “Yes.” Harper turned around and grabbed him in her hands, and he hissed, “You are quite interesting. So hard, yet soft like a bunny’s ear.” “God, Harper,” Maddox groaned as she stroked him. “You are a very big bunny,” she bent down and kissed its head, and it twitched, “And very jumpy.” She ran her tongue around its tip. “Aw, fuck Harper,” Maddox grabbed her ass firmly. Harper licked around the rim and then kissed it, “You are so big, I was afraid of you.” She sucked the tip, and he groaned loudly, “You taste really good, too.” She licked the pre cum off of him, and he squeezed her harder. She continued licking him; hard long strokes of her tongue concentrating in the head as she pumped him with her hand. She ran her tongue down the soft underside of him, and he cursed loudly. She continued stroking him up and down moving her hand clockwise on the upstroke and counter clockwise on the down stroke and sucking, taking as much as she could in her mouth. “You need to stop, Harper,” he grabbed the sheets and groaned. She licked harder and wrapped her lips around his tip and sucked. She continued until he filled her mouth. “Holy hell,” he pulled her onto him and held her tightly against his rapidly beating heart. “Did I do okay?” He took her face in his hands, “Absolutely beautiful. Holy shit, Harper.” He laughed and kissed her, “I swear to God I need to tell T about this.” Harpers jaw dropped, and she scowled, “You better not!” He laughed and held her close, “I won't, but damn, Harper.” “Seriously I am getting a better reaction to a blow job than sex---what the hell is that about?” Harper giggled. He sat up quickly, “That’s not true.”
“It sure is,” Harper laughed. “Let me explain,” Maddox closed his eyes. “No, we’re good,” Harper smiled and sat up straddling him. “Just let me tell you that was the absolute, most beautiful blow job I have ever had,” Maddox sat up and kissed her. “Wow, do I get like a crown or something?” Harper felt him beneath her again, and she moved her hips against him and bit her lip. “Really?” “Yeah, really.”
Maddox stood in the bathroom and looked in the mirror and smiled. He walked out, and she was asleep on her side. He pulled the blanket over her and she moaned. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned over and kissed her. He looked down, “Cut the shit, Thumper.” Maddox grabbed the tray and took it in the living area. He ate and sat back and smiled. He looked around and let out a deep breath and laughed softly. He sat forward and rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was three in the morning, and he was exhausted. He walked into the room and grabbed his boxers and threw them on. He looked at Harper sleeping sweetly. He climbed in beside her and she rolled over and wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest, “I love you, Maddox.” “I love you Sweetness,” he rubbed her back until she was fully asleep. She made little noises each time he was about to fall asleep. He scowled each time one of her sexy little noises caused the sheet to tent. He was exhausted, and it was four thirty. He walked into the bathroom and laid in the bathtub and debated on what he should do. He had not drank or smoked since he had seen Harper again. He had not needed to. As soon as he saw her he knew she would be his again. He dialed the phone, and Brody answered quickly in a whisper, “Maddox, are you alright?” “I am fine Dad.” “Okay what’s going on Maddox you sound upset?” “I am fucking exhausted, and I can’t sleep.” “Why Harper is there still, right? Is she okay is…” “It’s Harper’s fault I can’t sleep.” “Why? Maddox should I come over…” “No, I shouldn’t have called. I’ll talk to you later.” “Come on Maddox, if you need something just let me know. I’m glad you called me.” “You can’t laugh at me.” “Of course not.” “I can’t sleep because every time she moves I get a fucking hard on.” Brody didn’t reply. “Dad?” “Sorry, Maddox, I was trying to honor your request. It is early, and I may have misunderstood could you please repeat yourself?” “You heard me, Dad. How do I stop it? What can I do?” “Maddox, what have you done in the past?” “What do you mean?” “Girls you have slept with when you get turned…” “She is the first person, Dad.” “Tonight was your first time?” “Yes.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” “Do you really think I would say it otherwise?” “Okay but what about Jazz and the others?” “Blow jobs, they gave me blow jobs. I didn’t have sex with them.” “Are you kidding me?” “Dad could you help me out? You look at Emma all the time, but I don’t see you pitching a damn tent.” Brody laughed out loud. “Ha, Ha …funny-- just give me a damn hint.” “Only remedy I know of takes nine months to kick in.” “Fine, I’m a quick learner… tell me please?” “Kids,” Brody laughed, “Even teenagers. You wanna borrow your sisters for a while?” “That is not funny.” “I’m being serious.” “There has to be something else.” “Nothing that I have found. Tight boxers and long shirts maybe?” “Okay you’re a damn comedian this morning,” Maddox groaned. “And a magician, I bet it’s gone now,” Brody chuckled. “Yeah, until I walk out and see her laying there.” “Up until tonight you were a virgin?” “Technically, yes.” “How is she doing?” “She is more amazing every second. I love her.” “Be good to her, Maddox.” “Of course.” “When you love someone, they come first.” “I agree,” Maddox chuckled. “That’s my boy.” “Goodnight, Dad.” “I love you, Maddox.” “I love you too, Dad.”
Emma walked into the living area tying her robe, “Is everything okay?” Brody laughed, “Yeah.” “Who was that?” “Maddox.” “Do you need to go to him?” “No, he’s fine,” Brody smiled. “Then why did he call at this hour, he must be…” “He needed some advice,” Brody laughed. Emma looked at him curiously. “He and Harper, danced tonight,” Brody winked. “Brody it’s early could you be a little less cryptic?” “Probably not, but I could show you,” Brody walked towards her. She held out her hand stopping him. “Is she alright?”
“I assume so, and so is he. He wanted to know how to stop wanting her.” “This is not good, she has never…he has the Jazz issue…Collin and Tessa.” “Wanna hear something pretty cool, Em?” She rolled her eyes, “What?” “She was his first as well.” “That’s highly unlikely.” “Nope all the others blew him, that’s it.” “And you believe that?” “Yeah, I do. He’s not one to lie, and he called me, Em. Seeking advice, pretty cool huh?” Emma laughed, “Probably not a great idea on his part.” “Why is that?” “Did you tell him to tie her up?” Brody raised his eyebrow and looked her up and down, slowly, “No, but it sounds like a really good idea.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Tour Harper woke smiling and opened her eyes. Maddox lay on his back with one arm across his forehead and this other hand holding hers. He was truly the most handsome man she had ever seen. His eyes had always been her favorite, beautiful deep blue eyes. This dark lashes fanned across his face, and his perfect lips were parted slightly. She was pretty sure they were quickly becoming her favorite facial feature. She closed her eyes and smiled broadly. She wanted to wake him, but he looked so peaceful. After last night’s performance (or performances), he needed to sleep. She watched his chest rise and fall consistently, great pecks. Her eyes traveled down to his stomach and the hair which lead to something she now desired greatly. She closed her eyes and whispered, “Thumper.” She heard his chuckle and opened her eyes and he pulled her hand that was still wrapped in his up and kissed it sweetly. “Good morning.” “Good morning. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” “Sleep with me,” he closed his eyes and pulled her down. Her head lay on his chest, and she listened to his heartbeat intensify. She kissed his chest and sat up, “I’m going to use the bathroom, go back to sleep.” “You sure?” “Yes, very sure.” “Thanks, Sweetness.” Maddox woke to the sound of Harper’s phone ringing. He found it on the floor next to the bed. The picture ID showed Harper and Tessa smiling vibrantly. He was about to answer it when it stopped ringing and then chimed a message immediately. - Harper you need to call me now…Love Mom He stood up and tapped on the bathroom door, and she didn’t answer. He opened the door and heard her singing softly in the shower. “Hey, your mom called.” Harper pulled back the curtain, “Did you answer?” “No,” he smiled and looked away, Damn it! “Good, I still don’t know what I’m going to say to her. It’s not like she probably doesn’t already know, but it’s going to be a very awkward conversation. I mean...” “Hey Harper, can we talk about this out there?” “Oh, sure,” she looked at him and he peeked up at her briefly….his face was red, and his hands were covering his lower half. “Whatcha got there?” Harper pointed and smiled. He rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, “What’s it look like?” “A lot of fun,” she opened the curtain, “Bring it to me.” He looked at her confused and embarrassed, “Fine I won’t talk to you.” She looked down, “Hey Thumper! Wanna come here and play?” Maddox laughed, “Really Harper, you're bypassing me now and going straight to…” “He’s not as shy as you, I think he likes me.” “I think so, as well.” “Well whatcha waiting for?”
They stood in the bathroom toweling each other’s bodies off, and her phone rang again. “It’s on the bed,” he kissed her nose. “Thanks,” she kissed his. “Do you think you should go get it?” “Can we just run away?” He smiled, “Sure.” “I wish.” Harper ran and dove onto the bed and grabbed her phone, “Good morning, Mom.” “Good morning,” Tessa said sadly. “Is everything okay?” “No, not really.” “Mom what is wrong?” Maddox held up the shirt he had pulled out of her bag and pulled it over her head. “Have you watched TV this morning?” “Um, no.” “You’re on TV.” “What?” Harper covered the mouth piece, “Will you turn on the TV please?” Maddox looked at her curiously, and she shrugged her shoulders. He turned on the morning television. “You and Maddox, at the Garden, and at the hotel and…” “Oh my God!” Harper whispered. “Harper you need to get back here…” “I’ll call you back in a few minutes, Mom.” Harper watched as Maddox sang to her on the stage and then they danced. She looked over at Maddox, and he stared at the TV. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and then his jaw dropped. Harper turned and looked at the television. It was her and him on the balcony the night before. There were several shots of her, body parts covered by black shielding. The next was of him grabbing her robe and then of him carrying her into the hotel wrapped around him. She stood up and ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. Maddox let his held breath out and began to walk towards the bathroom. He heard a knock on the door and stopped to walk and open the door. Brody walked in, “She asleep?” “No, she just got off the phone with Tessa.” “We’re going to sue their asses!” “I don’t think now is a good time. I need to talk to Harper.” “Bring her out.” “Dad, alone. She ran into the bathroom clearly upset, and then you knocked and…” “Go, I’ll wait out here.” “Let me call you when we have had the opportunity to discuss this.” “Maddox, first of all this needs to be dealt with now. Second, you will probably be dealing with a very angry father.” “We’re adults, Dad. Please let me deal with this. I’ll call you.” “Maddox…”
“I am going to insist.” Brody scowled, “Fine, but it needs to be nipped in the bud, Maddox.” Maddox opened the door, “I’ll call you.” He knocked on the bathroom door and didn’t wait for an answer. He walked in and saw her sitting on the floor crying. “Come here,” Maddox pulled her up. He held her hand and walked out to the bedroom. “Look… I’m sorry about this.” She wiped her eyes, “It’s not your fault.” “Okay, what upsets you about this?” “Maddox did you see…” “Yes. But does it upset you that people know about us?” “No, but I don’t like that my ass is all over the morning news.” Maddox tried not to smile, “I understand. It is a beautiful ass though, Harper.” Harper scowled at him, “You…I…God!” “You, I, and God are the only people who truly know what went on here last night,” he kissed her hand and smiled slightly.” “Why aren't you pissed about this?” “What’s done is done.” “Maddox, you would normally be as freaked out about this as I am. My parents saw it, who the hell am I kidding--- America freaking saw it!” “I’m sure the world has seen it by now…” “Thanks a lot…” “Shh, here’s the deal. I don’t care who knows about us, Harper. I’m not hiding a damn thing. You’re mine, and I am yours. I’m sorry you feel this embarrassed by all of that. I’m not happy that your ass is on television. But to get angry and…” “What the hell happened to you? You should be stupid pissed off right now!” “I am pretty sure you sucked stupid out of me last night.” “Oh that’s nice” Harper started to stand, and he pulled her down on his lap. “You and I are going out to breakfast.” “Oh, that should be fun.” “Are you embarrassed to be with me?” “No, I just…” “I don’t care who knows, Harper.” “They saw my ass!” “Lucky them,” Maddox laughed and kissed her neck. “You wouldn’t like it if they saw yours.” “Why not, they can look all they want. You’re mine and I don’t care who knows. You’re not a dirty little secret, Harper,” he kissed her neck, “Let’s go.” “Are you being serious?” “As a leprechaun in a nudist camp.” “What?” Harper laughed and turned around and looked at him. “I love you, and I don’t care who knows Harper.” “I love you too, but what was that a joke?” “Get dressed and let’s go.” “I have to do my hair and makeup, and I have nothing to …” “You and me, let’s go.” Maddox stood up and pulled on a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt, “Come on Sweetness.” Harper pulled on a pair of jeans, “I should call my mom.”
“We have Surge and Tomas, we’re going now.” “Bossy,” Harper laughed as she grabbed her bag. “Leave the bag, chop, chop hot stuff.” Maddox and Harper walked into the elevator holding hands. He sent a text to Surge to meet them in the lobby and Harper sent one to Tomas. Tomas hurried to her, “This is not a good idea.” Harper looked up at Maddox who wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her head. “If they don’t have to chase us they won't invade our privacy nearly as much.” They walked onto the street, and several photographers snapped photos. Maddox smiled and waved and continued holding her tightly against him. “Who is the girl?” a reporter yelled. “My wife,” Maddox smiled. “What’s her name?” “Mrs. Hines.” Harper’s eyes widened, and she looked up at him, and he kissed her swiftly on the lips and continued walking. “Are you insane?” Harper gasped. “That’s debatable, does this look okay?” he pointed to a street vendor. “Sure?” Maddox grabbed four breakfast burritos and two orange juices. He smiled at Harper, and they walked through the crowded streets and into Central Park. They walked towards a bench and sat. They sat and looked at each other, and he smiled, “See? Not so bad.” Harper looked and laughed, “If you pretend that the photographers are not all over I suppose not.” He smiled and unwrapped a burrito and held it to her mouth, “I am capable.” “Let me,” he smiled and she took a bite. “Thanks,” she smiled. “I love you.” Harper looked up at him and smiled, and they ate silently. “Can we go back now please?” “Sure, are you alright?” “Yes, I’ll never keep you a secret. But I really would like to take you back to our room and stay there for like…ever.” Harper laughed, “That’s not going to happen, but I like the way you think.” Maddox stood and pulled her up. He tossed the empty wrappers into the garbage and held her hand as he looked at Surge and nodded. They walked quietly for a while, and Harper stopped and he looked down at her. “Everything okay?” “Sure, just tired,” he smiled and looked away. “Maddox?” “Yeah?” “Are we okay?” He smiled, “Let’s get back.” She had to walk fast to keep up with his long strides. He seemed tense and distant, and she had no idea why. Maybe it was all the people, maybe he was just tired, maybe she was just over analyzing everything because she too, was tired. They rode the elevator up to the suite. The door opened to a room full of people. “What the hell were you thinking?” Brody demanded. “I was thinking we needed breakfast,” Maddox walked past everyone and towards the bedroom. “Maddox, we need to talk!” Zach’s voice boomed and silenced the room. Maddox turned around and
glared at him. “She’s in the hospital! She took a bunch of fucking pills this morning, and she almost died!” Maddox looked confused. “Jazz, Jane, do you want to know who she really is MADDOX?” “Zach, calm down,” Brody grabbed him as he started towards Maddox. “This is so fucked up!” “I know, Zach,” Brody put his hand on his shoulder. Maddox cocked his head to the side and looked at Zach for a few moments. His face dropped and he began breathing heavy. He closed his eyes tightly as he clenched his fists. “She is my little sister, Maddox,” Zach pounded his chest, “My sister! Claire, not Jane or Jazz, or some God Damn girl that you can toy with! She is my sister!” “Zach, he didn’t know,” Emma rubbed his back softly. “FUCK!” Zach screamed and wiped his face quickly, “She is my God Damn sister Maddox, and she is lying in a hospital bed because she took a bottle of sleeping pills after she watched you on the news this morning! Not because she has been raped, or beaten, or starved, or sold, or had to sell herself to survive, but because she fucking thought you loved her!” Maddox shook his head side to side no several times. “Zach this is not his fault. He didn’t know, you didn’t even know,” Brody whispered. “I need to get the fuck out of here! She loves you! You made her feel like she mattered!” he looked at Harper: “The same way he feels for you! It’s not real; it’s the first person that made them feel human! Maddox, I thought you of all people…” Maddox opened his eyes and looked at Zach, “This is not Harper’s fault. Leave her the fuck out of this, Zach,” he turned and looked at Harper, “I am so sorry.” Maddox kissed her head and walked into the bathroom where he locked the door and sat on the floor and rocked himself back and forth, “Shh, Shh, Shh.”
The room fell silent, and no one said a word. They all stood looking at the ground. Harper’s phone rang, and she looked around and saw it sitting on the coffee table. She walked to it and picked it up. She had seventeen missed calls from her mother and father. She had several text messages. She closed her eyes and began to shake. Tomas walked to her side and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “You are going to be fine,” he whispered in her ear. She looked up at him and blinked rapidly and swallowed hard. Emma looked at Zach, “I know you’re hurting. I can assure you Maddox is falling apart. You and I both know how hard he has worked at helping find all of those kids for years Zach… years. This will all work out.” “Will it Emma? They won’t let me see her! The fucking doctor said she was refusing all visitors and that in her state of mind, she could know nothing! She doesn’t even know!” “You don’t know that, Zach.” “Then why,” Zach screamed and looked at Harper, “Your hold on him is the same as his is on her, don’t you see? You can fix this, make up your mind to be selfish or…” “That’s enough, Zach!” Brody snapped Maddox walked out of the bathroom his eyes were blazing red, “She is not the problem here, Zach! She doesn’t have to make any decisions. It rests on my shoulders, not hers.” “Then see that you do the right fucking thing!” “Surge, get him the fuck out of here,” Brody growled.
“You can all leave; give me fifteen minutes with Harper please.”
Harper felt her face burning, and she swallowed hard. Maddox closed the door behind Brody and turned to her. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before walking over and sitting on the couch. “Come sit with me, please,” Maddox looked up at her quickly and then back down to the ground. She sat next to him and folded her hands nervously on her lap. His eyes closed, and he took several slow deep breaths in and then out. “Apparently we have poor timing.” Maddox looked at her. She looked up at him and forced a smile. “I did not expect this, Harper,” his voice was low and steady, and he took another breath, “It is possible that Zach is right in why I feel drawn to you.” Harper swallowed hard and looked up into his face, “What?” She whispered, and the pain in her voice shredded him. He closed his eyes tightly and let out a deep breath, “I’ll never regret that you were the first person…” Harper stood up and he stopped talking. She walked to the bedroom and put her things in her bag. “Do you need help?” Maddox’s tone was a little less steady. “Nope, thanks though.” Harper walked past him into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush. “Harper…” “Maddox, I know what you think you have to do. I’m not angry at you at all. I get it.” Harper felt her body begin to shake. And she took a deep breath, “I really hope she is okay. And I pray you will be as well.” “I did not expect this, Harper,” Harper turned around and he put his hands against the wall blocking her from leaving. “I know,” Harper looked up at the ceiling trying to stop the tears from falling, “Maddox, please let me go.” “I don’t know how, Harper,” Maddox jaw tightened and his eyes burned. “It’s easy, just put your hands to your sides, step back, and let me walk away,” Harper forced a big smile. He looked at her and blew out a slow breath, “Damn it Harper, I…” Harper pinched her fingers around his lips closing his mouth, just like he had done to her several times and then slowly ran her thumb across his lips. He pushed his face into her hand and rubbed it back and forth against her gentle skin. His stubble tickled her hand and wrist. “Take care,” she pulled her hand away and started to walk quickly towards the door. Tomas held the elevator. “Deep breaths, Miss Harper. Just a few more minutes until we get into the car; deep breaths.” Harper pulled the baseball cap out of her bag and pulled it down over her eyes, the elevator door opened, and they walked out on the street full of reporters. “Congratulations… just one picture…What is your name…. Congratulations,” was all she heard until she was in the limo. She sat silently wondering why they were not moving when the door opened, “Thanks for waiting.” Harper looked up, and Emma sat next to her and pulled her into her arms. Harper cried softly, and Emma did too.
Maddox walked out of the bedroom, and Brody stood waiting for him, “She is not your responsibility.” “Yes she is,” Maddox looked away. “Maddox…” “Dad, I can't walk away from her,” Maddox snapped. “But you can walk away from Harper?” Maddox looked at him emotionless, “She’ll be fine. And Dad, not another mention of her name, ever.” “Can you live with that, Maddox?” “Yes.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Alone Harper spent the week after Emma and the girls had left to join Brody and Maddox on tour, in her bed. Her phone was in her hands at all times, and her mother was by her side. Her father had said very little to her since she had come back to the Cape. Every night Collin did come in to hug her, kiss her cheek, and hold her until she told him goodnight. Two days before they were to leave for South America she walked outside and sat on the deck next to Tessa. She smiled and pulled her black sunglasses over her eyes and smiled. “It’s a beautiful day.” Tessa smiled, “What should we do today?” “Shop?” “Sure.” “I want to drive.” “Sounds good, the Jeep?” “Yes, I have only driven it a couple times. Where is Dad?” “He and your brothers are on the boat.” “Does he hate me, Mom?” “No Harper, of course not.” “Okay.”
The Abraham family spent the next three and a half weeks in Africa and returned for a week to their home upstate. Harper had worked hard: she was focused and un-emotional. She was able to avoid everything that she assumed was being reported on in the media. They pulled down the long driveway leading to the house, and Harper saw Liam’s truck and smiled. Tessa looked at Harper and smiled feeling a twinge of relief. Harper jumped out of the SUV and ran and hugged Liam, “I missed you!” “I just saw you four weeks ago, girl.” “Yeah, I know. Let’s do something,” Harper smiled and stepped back. “Alright like what?” “I don’t care, anything!” “Movie?” “No,” Harper smiled. “You said anything,” Liam laughed. “I want to eat. Bad food, greasy, fattening, food.” “Okay, let’s go get something to eat. Aunt Tessa, Harper and I are going to grab some lunch.” Tessa smiled and nodded her head.
They walked into her favorite diner just outside of town and sat in their favorite corner booth. Helen walked up and smiled, “Hello kids what can I get for you?” “Harper just got home from one of those trips Helen, and she is hungry,” Liam smiled. “Oh, let me try to remember it’s been awhile. Cheeseburger deluxe loaded, fries, the greasier the better, chocolate milk shake, and a big old brownie sundae to finish it up?” “Aw Helen… you remember,” Harper smiled at her favorite waitress ever. “Of course I do, Harper. Same for you Liam?” He smiled and nodded his head yes. Helen winked and walked away. “So let's hear all about it,” Liam whispered. “You’re back!” Harper heard someone yell, and she turned to see Ava running towards her. Harper smiled when Ava jumped in the booth and hugged her tightly. “You haven’t called me. We have a lot to talk about.” “We truly just pulled in about twenty minutes ago. My phone is dead I haven’t charged it in like…” “Twenty one days?” Ava smiled. “Ava,” Liam scolded her. Harper looked at Liam and then back at Ava neither said a word. She sat back in the red vinyl booth and crossed her arms. “Okay spill it.” “It’s a song, Billboard number one hit in the US and the UK this week. Guess who the band is?” Harper felt her face turn red, “I don’t know who?” “Burning Souls,” Ava beamed, and they sat quietly, “Look I don’t know exactly what happened, but that boy loves you and you love him.” “Ava, enough,” Liam whispered sternly. “Whatevs,” Ava rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think she has been through enough?” “I think that Harper lost her virginity and…” Harper laughed out loud and covered her mouth. “See she’s going to be fine. It’s not like a dirty little secret, Liam.” “No, not a secret at all,” Harper laughed, “My first time was televised.” Ava smiled, “Well at least we won’t have to make a scrapbook.” “Nope we won't, it’s well documented.” “Your ass looked fabulous by the way,” Ava giggled. “Damn it Ava, shut up!” Harper smiled looked at him and then back at Ava, “Thank God.” “And the next morning he told everyone you were his wife,” Ava smiled sweetly. “Sure did,” Harper shook her head. “So tell me, was he any good?” “Oh my God Ava, shut up!” “Liam, I am fine. I have had a lot of time to figure out how to deal with this. I’ll be fine.” “Seriously every woman in the world envy’s you. He sang to you, our prom theme for crying out loud. Then you danced, and he took you on a helicopter tour; and then to only the most beautiful hotel in the city…” “Ava I swear to God I’m going to gag you.”
Harper laughed, and Helen brought their food to the table, “Can I get the same thing please?” “Sure Ava,” Helen looked at Harper, “She causing trouble?” “Yes of course,” Harper laughed and Ava rolled her eyes, “But it’s a particularly welcome kind of trouble.” “See, Liam!” “Yeah, I see Ava,” Liam scowled at her. “So then what happened?” “Well, I believe that was also caught on camera.” “Oh yeah, balcony scene.” Ava smiled, “I do have to warn you though, if you keep eating like this your ass is going to be as big as mine.” “Your ass is not big, Ava,” Harper laughed. “I have my mom’s ass, Harper, and you have your mom’s. I’m not blind.” “Some guys like round asses, huh Liam?” “Well I suppose they’re better than those nineteen eighties music video girls sporting mono-kinis.” Ava and Harper laughed, “My dad is apparently an ass man.” Harper smiled, “How are they doing?” “Disgustingly good,” Ava made a gagging sound, “So did you have the big O?” “Alright Ava, I swear to God…” “Yeah, I did, a few actually,” Harper smiled and looked at Liam who covered his ears and groaned, “And the next morning he took me out to show the world I was not a secret. We ate burritos, and walked back to the hotel, and less than thirty minutes I was doing the walk of shame.” Ava smiled sadly, “What happened, Harper?” “You know what happened Ava; it’s been all over the news.” Harper looked at Ava, “Jazz?” “Yeah…” “Ava, she just got back leave it alone.” “No, she deserves to know Liam!” “I want to know,’ Harper looked at Ava. “Helen, can we get some take out containers?” “Sure thing Liam.”
They drove silently to the pond, and Liam put the Chevy into park, “I don’t think this is a good idea. You should just forget about it. Move on Harper.” “I want to know!” Ava opened the door and jumped out Harper followed her. Liam got out with the food containers in hand. They sat on the dock in a circle, and Ava looked up, “He walked out of the hotel a few minutes later and looked just like you did, hat pulled down over his eyes, with his very beautiful daddy,” Ava giggled. “Emma was with me,” Harper whispered. “Always have to throw her in don’t you?” Ava smiled and took her hand, “Next were photos of the hospital and then the news of the keyboardist’s attempt at suicide. Then the video of them leaving the hospital being bombarded by reporters. One reporter asked where his wife was, and she went crazy,” Ava used her best British Accent, ‘Not with him, for Christ sake-- he finally broke his duck, he rose this
morning as a man, not just a lollipop! That’s all it was, tell them Maddox, tell them’ and then she was basically shoved by a really big guy into the car and Maddox looked around and his face turned bright red, and he got in the car.” “Broke his Duck?” “Yeah, I had to Google it. Apparently it’s a British term for a man losing his virginity. Was he a virgin?” “That’s not for me to discuss,” Harper looked up at the sky. “I wonder if he’s okay.” “Call him.” “No, she doesn’t need to,” Liam warned Ava. “They have two more stops on their US tour.” “Ava, it may take her a bit longer to get over her first than it does the normal girl.” “What is that supposed to mean?” Ava shouted back. “Exactly what I said, leave her alone.” “Hey Harper, I fucked Liam in the barn at the farm a year and a half ago.” “Jesus, Ava!” Harper giggled. “What we know about her first time she should know about ours. So your cousin is hot…” “Ava, honest to God…” “And safe, I knew I would be comfortable and we were both curious.” “I’m leaving.” “Sit down and shut up, Liam!” “And this is why it will never happen again.” “He is kind of big, so it was not really…” “Goodbye Harper, please call me when she is done.” Harper and Ava looked at each other and started laughing when Liam peeled out. “Okay now that he’s gone…” “Oh no, I wanna hear about this,” Harper laughed. “No big deal, I just didn’t want to be uncomfortable when I did find the one.” “Have you found the one?” “Nope, tried another time though,” Ava smiled big. “Who?” “Your brother…” “What! Which one?” “Oh I couldn’t choose, so I took them both on,” Ava smiled. “Are you kidding me?” “Yes, but it made you smile. So look, Burning Souls played in Red Rock last night, they play in Noblesville, Indiana tomorrow, and in four days they end their tour in Jersey baby, Bader Field. You are going to go hang with me for a few days, and we are going to that concert.” “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harper looked at her and tried not to smile. “It’s a great idea, you should be off of the ‘I must love him’ high, so you go see him and if it’s still there we form a plan and if not we go out and find you a rebound bang.” “Ava.” “You’re twenty years old. They will let you go. Just be like, I need to clear my head so that I can move on, and they will let you. Come on, it’ll be fun!” “Fine,’ Harper looked at her shaking her head. “Really?” Ava smiled broadly. “Yeah.”
Harper and Ava walked out of Ava’s grandfather’s house in New Jersey, giggling. They both wore Sweatshirts and mesh shorts. They had told Ava’s Grandparents they were going to the movies, then to dinner, and would be home late. Harper called her mother when they got in the Jeep to let her know where they were going out. Tessa told her to have fun and to be careful. Harper hung up and banged her head on the steering wheel. “Get over it,” Ava laughed. “I know. Let's do this!” Harper pulled out of the driveway and the sped down the road. They drove around looking for a glimpse of the band’s bus. They parked as close as they could get to it. When they got out they pulled off their sweatshirts and straightened their dresses. Both wore black tank style dresses and sandals. Not matching, but very similar. They threw their shorts in the Jeep, and Harper grabbed her small cross body purse. Ava smiled and jumped up and down. The opening act was thanking the crowd of screaming fans when they walked through the gate. They showed their VIP badges to the security guard, and he let them pass and they made their way to their seats. Harper looked around and recognized many of the crew members from the show at Madison Square Garden. She pulled her black shades over her eyes. She and Ava kind of stuck out from the crowd. They were the only ones not sweat drenched and the only ones in dresses. “We over did it.” “We look hot,” Ava yelled, and they heard tapping sticks. Harper looked up and saw T, Zach, and someone who was not Jazz on the keyboard, “Have they mentioned anything about Jazz on the news?” “Just that she was taking a break,” Ava scowled, “Stop worrying about her!” “HELLO NEW JERSEY!” Harper looked at Ava, and her jaw dropped she didn’t look at the stage, she couldn’t. “This is one hell of a crowd to end our US tour with, thanks for coming out tonight!” Harper turned and looked at the stage. He had a grey tank that revealed the lean muscles in his long strong arms. Arms that had held her, arms that moved her body to where he wanted it, arms that at this moment, she needed around her. He had Black cargo shorts that hit just above his knees leaving his muscular calves exposed, and his black military looking boots were undone. He grabbed his guitar and lifted the strap over his shoulder exposing the v, and the dark trail of hair that started just below his belly button and lead to his long, thick… “Harper!” Ava yelled and snapped her fingers in front of her face, “What are you thinking?” Ava laughed. “He is so beautiful,” Harper turned towards Ava and closed her eyes. “Yeah he is, but what about the boy in the back? He is delicious!” “T?” “U, V W, X, Y I don’t care what his name is, you’re introducing me to him. T will be number three,” Ava laughed. “Who was number two?” Harper asked as she watched Maddox sing, not really caring about the answer. “Not your brothers, we’ll discuss that when you can concentrate,” Ava laughed at Harper. Harper could not stop watching him; his voice seduced her, just like he said. He knew it, and she
knew it now more than ever. She closed her eyes when he started to sing Stained and felt a tear fall down her face. She opened them at the last chorus and looked up. He was standing on the edge looking at her. She knew he could see her, and she smiled. “He sees you!” Ava clapped. He closed his eyes and finished. Maddox walked off stage and Zach looked at T confused. T shrugged his shoulders and started bagging on the drums. Maddox bound back on stage, “Did you miss me?” The crowd screamed, and he looked back towards where Harper and Ava stood and laughed out loud, “It has been a long, hot summer,” the crowd yelled. “I have to tell you I really didn’t think I would make it here, what a fucking maddening month. Do you all know how long it takes to form a nasty little habit?” The crowd screamed Twenty One Days. “That’s right and how long does it take to break one?” They answered again. “That’s right so tonight we end it right here. The last night on stage in the US for a very longtime, with all of you! I’ll miss you all, but it’s time to get back home. Hit it, T!” Maddox pulled his guitar strap over his shoulder and smiled. “Let’s do this” Twenty one days of regret, twenty one days to forget. Twenty one ways to get through, the day twenty one ways to make it okay. Sitting thinking, drowning drinking, sinking lower you’re not speaking. Needing wanting, pushing pulling, suffocating silence is my hearts still beating Close my eyes thinking of all the ways we should have said our goodbye, Knowing there was no way. No way to keep you here, to make you stay. I search to find the answers to let you go, to get over you I found twenty one days to live thirty years, twenty one days for first and lasts to shed their tears. Twenty one beats of my heart. feels like twenty one lifetimes apart. For twenty one days I sat alone, learning twenty one notes that make your name a song. For twenty one days I sank lower than the Dead Sea, twenty one days down on my knees. Twenty one habits I formed just to break, hoping twenty one days is all it takes. To forget the twenty one reasons I count today, those twenty one sins that took you away. Twenty one days of regret twenty one days to forget. Twenty one ways to get through the day, twenty one ways to make it okay. Singing strumming, smoking drumming, close my eyes and see you crying Seeking looking, seeing dying, memories draw me in sinning lying. I sit and wonder why I’m here, the torments worse when you're not near. I’ll let go, no way to renew, to make you know. I dredge the depths to where I fell, face to face with my new hell I found twenty one days to live thirty years, twenty one days for first and lasts to shed their tears. Twenty one beats of my heart, feels like twenty one lifetimes apart. For twenty one days I sat alone, learning twenty one notes that make your name a song. For twenty one days I sank lower than the Dead Sea, twenty one days down on my knees. Twenty one habits I will form just to break, hoping twenty one days is all it takes. To forget the twenty one reasons I count today, those twenty one sins that took you away.
The chorus repeated, and the crowd screamed and chanted FUCK YOU! “Is that what you all want?” Maddox laughed, “Well then how could I refuse, it’s a new day, a new chapter so fuck you all!” He sang and danced and looked beautiful doing so. He even looked happy: how could he look happy
singing that song? Harper felt sick to her stomach. He didn’t pull anyone onstage, and she was glad he didn’t. Harper sat the rest of the concert, surrounded by his voice and the screams of all the fans. She was emotionally drained and wanted to go home. The last song of the concert he took his shirt off and wiped his sweaty face and threw it out to the crowd. It almost caused a riot to the left of Harper and Ava. The concert ended, the crowd thinned out and the girls with backstage passes were all rushing to get in line. Harper stood up and looked at Ava, “If he wanted to talk to me he would have called, I don’t want to…” “You’ll do it for me?” Ava dragged her to the back of the crowd, “That drummer is fine, fine, fine just what I need to get over number two.” “Okay but only if you spill it,” Harper looked at Ava and crossed her arms. Ava pulled out the cute little gray and black floppy hats out of Harpers bag and shoved one on her head, “Here, no one will recognize us now. Put on your shades.” “This is crazy, we look like we are in disguises,” Harper laughed. “They’ll think we are covering up our eyes, my god I think I caught my first buzz just off the second hand smoke,” Ava laughed. “Stop skirting the issue Ava, a name,” Harper pulled her sunglasses on. “Fine, Luke,” Ava shoved her glasses on. “Luke Lane, as in Jade’s son, my second cousin, your father’s namesake and God child, who just happens to be five years older than you?” Harper gasped. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one, focus on the task at hand,” Ava blushed and turned away. They watched as the security guards pulled the younger girls with their parents to the front of the line. “Speaking of fine looking older men, check out Maddox’s daddy. Damn, he’s yummy,” Ava laughed. “Oh God I hope they don’t see us,” Harper squatted down as they walked by holding hands and laughing. “Dodged a bullet,” Ava laughed. “Okay, they have passed stop hiding.” “Then tell me about Luke.” “His parents and mine were out to dinner a few months ago. I watched him with his bitch girlfriend all night while a bunch of us hung at the pool. I mean seriously... he’s on leave, and she acts like a complete bitch to him. It pissed me off. He ignored her until she left and he was drinking a lot. Everyone went into sleep and we went swimming. One thing leads to another and well let's just say I practically had to beg him to do me after we teased each other all night. He went down, a first and I swear I have never felt that way before. Then I guess it turned him on, you know the OH MY GOD, OH, AW, YES, MORE, AW, OH GOD LUKE” Ava reenacted her noises loudly, and Harper giggled when people turned around and looked at her Ava looked up at the women in front of them who were scowling at her, “WHAT? That’s what it sounds like when you get off…sorry you two have never been there.” “AVA,” Harper tried to calm her down. “Well I’m sure if that were true we could remedy that tonight,” the blonde sneered. “Like you have a freaking chance,” Ava hissed at her. “We were in Denver,” she snickered. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Ava asked. “You’ll see, after me of course,” she rolled her eyes and looked away. “Skank ass bitches!” Ava snapped. And they were escorted in. Ava and Harper were last in line. They stood for thirty minutes and waited. “I want to go now,” Harper whispered, “Ava I can’t do this, I don’t want to see him. I think I’m going
to get sick.” The two skanky big haired over done pigs walked out smiling and laughed at Ava, “Fucking pigs.” “Go ahead in.” T and Maddox walked out of the bathroom chuckling followed by a cloud of smoke. Maddox pulled his hat lower over his eyes and didn’t look up; he had not put on a shirt. He flopped on the couch and pulled his hat over his eyes. “Did you enjoy the show loves?” T smiled and sat back on the other couch. “It was great,” Ava smiled. “So do you want an autograph or photo, or tell me why else would two beautiful ladies be coming back here tonight?” T asked looking Ava up and down. “Well to say hi, I suppose,” Ava blushed. “Oh Kitten look at your pink cheeks, so flush and we have yet to begin,” T winked. Ava blushed deeper. “Let me ask you something kitten, do you prefer drums or guitar?” “Well I don’t play either,” Ava was confused, and Maddox chuckled causing his abs to flex but still he said nothing. “Have you ever held a stick in your hand kitten? Even made of wood it is smooth as silk, shall I show you?” “Are you talking about your dick?” Ava yelled. “Well it’s not American, so it’s a bit bigger than a dick, it’s a cock love, come have a look.” Maddox threw his arm over his face trying not to laugh. “Does that shit really work for you?” “Um yes, twice tonight so far but I hear the third time’s a charm, show me kitten, show me…” “You’re a fucking pig, S!” “Oh Kitten its T…” “Seriously you need a reality check band boy,” Ava rolled her eyes. “How many people have licked you from inside out…?” “Oh God…” Harper held her stomach. “That’s it see she gets it…” “Oh shit,” Harper sprinted to the garbage and threw up. “Is she drunk?” T laughed. Maddox walked into the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of water and paper towels. “Hey, here,” he handed them to her and she sat back on her heels not looking at him. “I want to leave,” her voice shook. Maddox pulled her hair away from her face and rubbed her back as she threw up, “Don’t touch me.” “Sorry,” he said softly, “Are you alright?” He took the top off the water and handed it to her. She moved quickly away and slipped on the water that had spilled. He caught her, “Sit for a minute. I’ll make him shut up.” “DON’T TOUCH ME!” He spun her around, “Harper? What the hell are you doing here?” “She came to see you idiot,” Ava smacked him in the back of the head, “and now she is leaving.” “Like hell she is,” Maddox growled, “Have you been drinking?” Maddox didn’t wait for her to reply he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, closed the toilet with his foot and sat her down. “Leave me alone, this was a really bad idea, sorry, I should not have…” “Back off asshole,” Ava pushed past him. “No, you back the fuck off,” Maddox growled, “T come take care of this!”
T grabbed Ava from behind and carried her out of the bathroom. Maddox kicked the door shut and locked it. He handed her another bottle of water and she looked away with tears falling down her face. “How much did you drink?” “I didn’t.” “Then why were you sick?” “Seriously Maddox, you’re not fucking stupid, I am not stupid. My coming here was…” He grabbed her face, “Look at me!” “I don’t want to,” she tried to hold her breath to stop from sobbing. “What did you expect when you came here?” Maddox yelled, “Harper, you could have called if you needed something.” “I didn’t need anything I wanted to see you. I didn’t expect that you were fucking everything that…” “I didn’t fuck anyone!” “Oh really, the girls from Denver…” “They sucked us off Harper, that’s it…” “That’s it?” “You knew that’s what went on, I told you that!” “That was before, Maddox,” Harper pulled away. “Before what!” “Oh my God, oh my God. I am so stupid!” “No, none of this is your…” “Fuck you!” Maddox looked confused. “Fuck you, let me go!” Maddox held her arms tightly, “I did Harper, and you came to me! I fucking did! What the hell are you doing to me?” He pulled her in to his arms and held her tightly. “Don’t you dare!” “Tell me you hate me!” “What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you say that to me?” “Because I know what that means to you and if you can’t love me I want you to hate me!” “What the hell was I thinking?” “It doesn’t mean anything Harper, it’s a blow job!” “Good to know, now let go of me!” “What’s good to know? What?” He pulled her back and shook her. “Blow jobs mean nothing. I am going to go fucking…” “GET OUT!” he let go of her. “Get out of my way!” “You’re going to go be just like them!” “Yep, they seem to be more important to you…” “Unbelievable,” he grabbed her face and held it as he screamed, “Listen Princess, you are not like them, you are far worse! You fucking know better, and yet, you choose…” “Take your filthy, fucking hands off me! Don’t you ever talk to me like that again!” Harper slapped him across the face. “You are such a bitch!” Maddox grabbed her and pushed her against the wall and kissed her. She started to shake, and he pulled back and then kissed her again, “I have never wanted to hit a woman in my life, and I swear to God Harper… you have gotten me SO amped up.” He kissed her hard
again, and she whimpered and opened her mouth to him. His tongue licked hers harshly, and his hand moved up her dress. Her head was spinning, and her body began to burn everywhere, “Tell me to stop, Harper… or I am going to nail you against this fucking wall.” She pushed her hands against his chest and began to cry. “Tell me to stop, Harper.” She shook her head no and kissed him. His finger pushed into her harshly, and she gasped and reached down and unbuttoned his pants and grabbed him firmly. He groaned and pushed into her hand as she stroked him. He pulled her dress up then pulled her legs around him and rammed into her savagely. She bit down on his shoulder, and he squeezed her ass firmly and thrust into her over and over again. She whimpered and he felt her squeezing around him. “You have to stop,” Harper moaned against his neck. “No, this is mine,” he pushed up hard, and she came again. “You're not wearing, oh God, stop,” She moaned. “Say your tight little pussy is mine,” he growled in her ear. “Fuck you,” Harper quivered. He pulled out quickly and emptied into a tissue. She fixed her dress and started to open the door, he kicked it shut and leaned against it. “Is that why you came here, Harper?” “Yes, just like all the others but worse.” He didn’t say a word he looked her up and down. “Move please.” He grabbed her hand and held it to his chest as he glared into her eyes. He let go of her hand and opened the door. T was sitting on the floor in front of Ava rubbing her feet and smiling like a fool up at her, “Okay I am done with you,” she pulled her foot away and stood, “You ready?” “Yes,” Harper didn’t stop she walked out the door quickly. “She loves you--- you idiot,” Ava snapped at Maddox and walked after Harper. Maddox took a deep breath and looked down at T, “What the hell are you doing?” “Whatever she asks,” T covered his face and fell back on the floor and laughed.
Ava caught up to Harper and grabbed her hand, “You okay?” “No, I just want to get the hell out of here, I hate him!” “HEY!” they heard a voice and turned around to Jazz running towards them, “What are you doing here?” “It was a mistake Jazz, it won't be happening again, he’s all yours,” Harper started to walk away. “So did you two get each other off in front of him? He likes that you know,” she ran and grabbed Harper’s arm stopping her, “He used to love when I brought someone home, he would get fucked up and watch us go at it and then whoever she was would suck him off as he pleasured me. Is that what you did Harper?” “You’re fucking…” “Ava don’t. Jazz, I came to say goodbye.” “How did he take it? Was he upset?” “No Jazz he…” “You don’t have to answer any of her questions!”
“Ava, no more. It’s done; you don’t have to worry about me anymore.” “I was never worried about you,” Jazz laughed at her, “When he figures out you’re no better, he’ll be done moping.” “Well I’m sure he gets it now, Jazz. Goodnight.” “Yeah, goodnight,” Jazz looked at her confused and walked away. The gate opened, and they walked into the parking lot. Ava stopped and hugged her, “Sorry, I’m sorry. We should never have done this, I should never have …” “No, it needed to be done,” Harper pulled away and held her stomach. They walked towards the Jeep, and Harper’s stomach turned again and she bent over and threw up again. The Jeep door opened, and both girls gasped, “Come on let’s get you two back to the house.” Ava scowled, “What are you doing here?” “Well you were not at the movies, Ava! Those fucks wouldn’t let me in and the cops…” “You called the cops!” “Of course I did. You two take off and lie about where the hell you are going and sneak around with…” “Call them back and tell them not to come!” “They wouldn’t come damn it your twenty!” Harper giggled and looked at Ava who started to laugh. Ava hugged her again. “Yay we are and we are taking a girls vacation this summer a road trip.” “Like hell you are!” “What are you going to do about it? Call the cops?” Ava laughed out loud. “Get your ass in the Jeep, I’m driving you two have obviously been drinking. Harper is throwing up, you are …out of control and,” “We have not… jeepers Dad.” “WHAT!” “I can handle myself,” Ava laughed and got in the back of the Jeep. “You sit in the front,” Harper hissed at Ava. “No way--- he’s PISSED,” Ava laughed. “Then scoot over,” Harper laughed at her and got in. Lucas was outside pacing back and forth. He took his phone out of his pocket and answered, “Yes, I have them. I’m going to call Ash.” He got in the Jeep and looked in the backseat, “You two are in so much trouble!” “You going to ground me, aren’t you Dad?” “Yes until your fucking my age!” The black stretch limo pulled out of the gate and slowed as it pulled by the Jeep, T stood out of the moon roof and yelled, “Marry me Ava, you Goddess!” Lucas jumped out of the Jeep and stormed towards the limo, “Dad get back here!” Ava yelled, climbing over the seat and out the passenger door. Lucas picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. “Release her you old pervert!” T shouted and began climbing out of the moon roof. Maddox stood up and grabbed him, “Ava, do you know who that is?” “No! It’s some crazy man,” Ava laughed and smacked her father in the back. Maddox and T both jumped out of the limo and Surge jumped out in front of them. “Let her go!” Maddox stormed towards them. Harper jumped out as Maddox and T grabbed Ava, and she laughed.
“It’s her father!” Maddox and T stepped back, and Lucas set Ava down, “Get your asses in the vehicle now!” “We apologize father of the Goddess Ava,” T slurred. “You might want to get back into that car before I kick your ass!” Lucas snapped. “I am sorry let me introduce myself, I am T, and I am madly in love with that beautiful dark haired Goddess. I would like to take this opportunity to ask for her hand in marriage.” Maddox grabbed him, “Take him Surge. Mr. Links, I am very sorry about that.” Maddox looked at the Jeep and watched as Lucas pealed out of the parking lot. “Ava… start talking!” “I am very tired Daddy, wake me when we get to Grandpa’s.” She hugged Harper and laughed, “We are going to have so much fun on our trip.” Lucas answered his phone, “Sorry Ash, I have them, and your daughter is grounded for LIFE!” “Lucas be nice, are you okay Ava?” “Hi Mom, I am I had a great time tonight,” Ava laughed. “She had some band member ask if he could fu…” “Ava?” “Yep, I chose drums,” Ava and Harper laughed. “Ava I can assume your father is driving too fast and that you are enjoying torturing him. Please don’t okay,” Ashley started to cry. “Ash don’t cry,” Lucas said sweetly. “Okay here’s the story, we went to a concert, went back stage. The boy who just asked for my hand in marriage was loaded, came on really strong. I told him all about himself, and when Maddox slammed the door in my face and held Harper captive in the bathroom he continued trying to… well…. he was talking really dirty,” Ava laughed, “I told him he had a better chance meeting God and then told him the closest he was going to touching me was if he was on his knees rubbing my stinky sweaty feet and he did!” Harper and Ashley laughed, “See Lucas, she did well.” “Yeah-- well she’s still grounded. Thelma and Louis think they are going away together, and that’s not happening!” “Why Lucas?” “I don’t want either one of them getting banged in the backstage of some god damn concert Ash!” “Lucas, enough.” “Too late Lucas,” Harper laughed and then started crying. “Oh damn it Harper, don’t cry,” Lucas slowed down and pulled over. “What a mess,” Harper laughed and wiped her tears. “It’s okay Harper, seriously he made you throw up, trust me that’s not a good sign,” Lucas handed her a tissue. “Yeah, probably not,” Harper wiped her eyes. “Look we all make mistakes, well, most of us,” Lucas winked at Ava. “Dad do you think I am a virgin?” “You better damn well…” “Lucas, calm down,” Ashley’s voice came from the speakers. “Mom, I did Liam in the cow barn at Alex and Phoebe’s,” Ava smiled at Harper, “He was huge.” “I am going to kill him,” Lucas punched the gas pedal and pealed out on the side of the road. “Why? I’m the one who asked him.” “Ava, I think you should stop.” “Fine but Liam did me,” she stopped and winked at Harper, “a favor.” “A favor, Ava?” Lucas sneered.
“Yes, no hurt feelings. No heartbreak, it’s over, gone, caput, I don’t have to worry about it.” “Ava you need to shut your mouth now!” “I love you Daddy,” Ava yawned and snuggled with Harper.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN London Maddox woke up and held his head tightly. The events of the previous night were blurry, very blurry. Every night since he left New Jersey had been. He reached across his large bed and opened the nightstand and grabbed his bowl. He hit it twice and set it down and leaned back. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. The picture in his head of tears falling from her eyes as he fucked her against the wall back stage made his stomach turn. He had told her she was worse than the others which made his heart ache. The fact that he had not talked to her in weeks made the blackness creep in filling the hollow inside his heart. Maddox had never hated himself until now. He did not like the man who stared blankly back at him in the mirror. He didn’t like the way he threw away someone he loved to try to get Jazz healthy but he knew there was no other way. Zach had moved into the house and Jazz refused to talk to him, and he refused to stop trying. It was so hard watching him, the pain in his face when he finally broke down and revealed what had actually happened to her when she was so young. Zach’s mother had left them all when Zach was three and Jazz (who he refused to stop calling Claire, regardless of how angry it made her) was less than a year old. Their father killed himself, and they were both taken away by someone, he did not remember who. They were eventually separated, and he ended up with a loving family who tried without resolve to find his sister. They all assumed she had been taken out of the country. He never stopped looking for her. Maddox was angry at him for not telling him the truth from the beginning and Zach was still too angry at Maddox to care. Brody and Emma were relentless about him spending time with them. If he was honest with himself he would admit that when he was with them it was the only time he felt even the slightest bit comfortable in his own skin. But he did not like going to his family home. The memories of what had happened at his first concert always came flooding back. Had he just waited to see if it were truly her in the crowd he would have never done drugs that night, or sang that song, or kissed that girl, or broke her heart causing his to break simultaneously. He had caused such a mess of what should have been a fairytale life. A happily ever after for the boy who sat locked in the closet for sometimes weeks at a time. When those thoughts caused the emotions to rip him apart he drank or smoked, blocking out thoughts of Harper. It stopped the sound of her voice in his head, the taste of her skin on his lips, the memories of what it felt like to be loved by someone who deserved so much more than he could ever give her. The worst was the image of her crying as he was inside her, when he held her face in his hands, and the pooled tears fell down her cheek. That memory made his heart slow; he swore he felt it expand until it hurt so badly he wished it would just explode. Maddox still looked at her page on the internet almost daily. She never posted anything, but Ava on the other hand tagged her in every post for a week. He saw her laughing and smiling as they checked in and out of hotels on some sort of trip Ava had named the photo album on her page, out with the old. He sometimes laughed at the banter between her and her father. T saw it once and quickly created a page of his own giving himself the name of Humble Servant. She accepted his friend request and within minutes tagged him in a photo of him on his knees rubbing her feet. He had on a hat so you could not see his face, but both Maddox and T knew exactly when it was. T responded, “The night I met my Goddess.” Ava did not respond, but her father did.
“Leave it alone, or I’ll rip your face off.” T had a bit too much to drink and replied, “The pleasure of her company for just a second in time would make the pain bearable.” Maddox laughed as they sat in front of the computer “You should be warned, pushing ones father is ill advised,” Maddox’s heart literally stopped when he saw it was from Harper. T looked at him and smiled, “What shall I reply?” “Whatever you want,” Maddox scowled. “You reply for me,” T wiggled his eyebrows. “No.” “Come on you know you want to.” Maddox did want to, and he wanted her to know it was him. He typed, “Thanks for the advice, Sweetness.” He stared at the screen and waited. “Sweetness? I would never call her that.” “I know that, and so does she.” She did not reply, and he became agitated, “You got nothing?” When her reply never came across he closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair.
Maddox walked into the studio with T, Zach, and Jazz. They were going to record the last few tracks for the album's release before their European tour started up. The band played the music and Maddox would stay behind and do the vocals with the producers. Maddox had a few minutes to wait until they were ready. He grabbed his phone and looked at Ava’s page, and still Harper had not responded. He sat back and closed his eyes. He heard someone walk into the room, and he opened his eyes and sat up. Four girls walked into the room. “Maddox Hines,” one said, and he looked up. She had long blonde hair that hung to her waist, and blue eyes. She was very attractive, and her smile was from ear to ear, “I am Ally: and this Taylor, Jenna, and Laura we’re M.A.S.S.” Maddox stood and smiled, “Nice to meet you all. So you’ll be opening for us?” “Yep, thanks for the opportunity.” “We are stoked,” Taylor shook his hand. “We just finished up down the hall. Could we stick around and hear you guys?” “Ally, was it?” she nodded her head yes, “It’s just me and I’m only doing two songs. Sorry to disappoint.” “That’s would be cool with us if you don’t mind.” Ally sat down not waiting for an answer. Maddox laughed. “He probably doesn’t want us to,” Jenna whispered. “No, it’s fine,” Maddox smiled and walked into the recoding booth. It only took twice through for them to get everything they wanted, “Thanks Maddox.” Ziggy, took his hand as he left. “Thank you,” Maddox smiled. “That was awesome!” Ally jumped up and hugged him, “I think we should celebrate. Let's go get dinner.” “Alright then. We can take my car,” Maddox loved her energy. It was the excitement of a new artist. One who truly loved their craft. They sat in a pub not far from the studio. They all ordered, and Maddox found out they were all eighteen and went to the same school together. They were from a small town in Massachusetts, they all had boyfriends at home, and they were all taking a semester off before their first
year of college to pursue their dream. They had put a few of their songs online and Maddox’s record label found them and decided to give them a shot. He had a great time just hanging out with them. No one asked questions about his childhood or reminded him of any of his recent mistakes. He paid for dinner and promised to download their music and listen to them before he dropped them off at their hotel. Maddox woke the next morning to banging on his door. He had started locking it at night so that Jazz wouldn’t come in. He needed the distance. To show her that he was serious about no longer having any type of sexual relationship with her. He opened the door, and Jazz lunged at him, “Is it because she looks like her?” Maddox grabbed her arms to stop her from hitting him, “Calm the fuck down!” “NO! Do you like her now, because she looks like Harper?” “What the hell are you talking about?” “The TV Maddox, your date with three girls is all over TV!” “I did not go on a date, Jazz!” “You did, and you like her because she looks like Harper!” Zach flew down the hall and grabbed her, “Come on Claire.” “I am not Claire!” “Fine Jazz, whatever you say, let it alone,” Zach carried her down the hall kicking and screaming. Maddox followed them and turned on the TV. Sure enough the entertainment channel was mudslinging less than twelve hours later. “I went to dinner after recording with four girls Jazz, not one. They are M.A.S.S our opening act. Three teenage girls from the US, with boyfriends at home. Nice girls who do not resemble Harper. And if they did, so fucking what? They’re not her! I walked away from love for friendship Jazz--- for you my friend! What you just did was uncalled for!” Jazz glared at him and she started to walk away. “You wait just a fucking minute!” Jazz stopped and turned around, “You will behave around them. You will not discuss me, my past, or your past. This is business-- do you understand me? And if you do, so help me god Jazz, all of this is done! I am dying here. You are not alone anymore. No one is going to fucking hurt you. You get to choose who you are now. I am doing you absolutely no good. You continue to suck the life out of me don’t you? And your brother!” “That’s enough, Maddox,” Zach snapped. “The hell it is,” Maddox screamed, “I was given a chance, I fucked up, and those who truly love me continued to give me chances. My family loves me. Jesus Christ Jazz, I don’t even spend time with my sisters anymore because you can't pull your shit together. Look at me!” Maddox pounded his chest, “I’m dying inside. I can’t go a day without getting fucked up, not one fucking day! You do NOT love me Jazz, not even as a friend. You are doing the same to him!” “Don’t speak for me,” Zach snapped. “I won’t, I fucking won’t!” Maddox stormed to his room and slammed the door.
Maddox walked backstage after his sound check. He watched as the three girls laughed and chatted. Their excitement was so pure and innocent. Something he remembered lasted only a moment for him. The moment he first walked on the stage of O2 until the moment he thought he saw Harper and Blake. Since that time more than two years ago he hadn’t felt it, until now. Ally skipped over to him, “Are you excited?” “I am excited for you three, more than I am for myself,” he smiled.
“Aw, thanks Maddox Hines,” she playfully hip checked him and he laughed. He saw Jazz out of the corner of his eye, watching them. She had something of a different expression on her face. Not the normal blank stare or scowl. “Earth to Maddox,” Ally snapped her fingers in front of her face. “Sorry,” he laughed. “You like her?” “I care deeply for her but not in any way aside from friendship.” “She doesn’t like us.” “She doesn’t know how.” “Do you know her from…?” Ally stopped when his eyes widened, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.” “You know of my past?” “Doesn’t everyone?” “But you don’t act like everyone, none of you react the way we are used to.” “That’s because we’re that cool,” Ally smiled and laughed, “And we don’t judge, we all have pasts, Maddox Hines.” He laughed, “Maddox is fine.” “Fine,” she rolled her eyes, “We’re going to get pedicures to celebrate. Do you think she would like to come, you know-- hang with girls and not you boys?” “I don’t know if you should take that chance.” “Well why not, no harm in asking right?” “Ally, she may be a bit nasty. I don’t think it’s a wise idea.” “I never said I was a wise girl. But I am a bit of a risk taker. Here’s the deal; she says no and gets angry, and I don’t know, hits me, I won’t sue you. She says yes, you have to come on stage and play or sing during one of our songs.” Maddox laughed, “Not a good idea.” “What? You don’t like our music?” “No I do, I would however not like to have to replace you if you run screaming for the hills. The tour starts tonight.” “I promise I won't,” Ally walked over to Jazz before he could say any more. Jazz looked at her, confused and then looked at Maddox. He smiled, and she nodded her head yes. Maddox about fell over from shock and then texted Surge instructions to follow along. The four girls left in Maddox’s car, he insisted. “That’s not a good idea, Maddox,” Zach was angry. “We have to start somewhere, this has not been working,” Maddox walked away.
Maddox, T, and Zach sat backstage waiting for Jazz and the girls to come back when the car pulled in. Ally, Taylor, Jenna, and Laura got out laughing carrying shopping bags. Jazz got out and smiled at them shaking her head looking down. Maddox and Zach looked at each other hopefully. “You girls better hurry it up, you are on in an hour,” T yelled to them. Maddox watched them all, including Jazz walk by and go their dressing room, and smiled. “They are not miracle workers, Maddox, don’t get your hopes up,” Zach patted him on the back and walked away.
T smiled, “One can always hope.” They all stood on the side of the stage listening to the crowd, the three girls were in a huddle with their arms around each other. Maddox watched Jazz looking at them and walked over to her. “Did you have fun?” She looked at him briefly. “Good,” Maddox patted her back and started to walk away. “Are you trying to give me to them?” her words stopped him dead in his tracks and he turned around. “Jazz, first of all you are not mine to give away…” “You’re trying to give me to Zach.” “He’s your brother; I want you to build a relationship with him. He loves you; he looked for you for twenty years Jazz. Ally asked you to go, I absolutely did not encourage that, it was all her idea.” “Are you angry that I went?” “No Jazz, I am happy you went. I want you to make friends and be happy, and live.” “So that you can?” “So that I can what Jazz?” “Live. So that you can live. So that you can leave me for Harper?” “I’ve already lost Harper. My hope is the same for you as it is for me Jazz; that we can live life and be happy. That we can allow others to care for us, and we can care for them. Friends, family, and lovers. One’s who fill our lives and hearts. I want to be your friend, Jazz.” “She said that too.” “Who said that, MASS?” “No Harper. I was mean, and she told me she would like to be my friend.” Maddox closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Then she meant it.” “You want to be my friend?” “Of course I do.” “Even after everything… you want to be my friend?” “Jazz where is this coming from?” “They talked about friends--- ones they missed and ones they didn’t. Which would I be to you?” Maddox laughed, “A little of both,” he looked at her face, “You’re smiling.” “Is that okay?” “What did I ever do to make you think it wasn’t?” “You don’t smile a lot.” “I get sad a lot.” “Because you miss Harper?” “And my family. Jazz you need to stop talking about Harper. That makes me sad, okay?” “Okay.” “Jazz, your brother loves you. Be his friend too, okay?” “I don’t know.”
“Hello LONDON!” Ally yelled when they walked on stage, “Thanks for coming out tonight we are MASS!” As promised, Maddox walked on before their last song and the crowd blew up. Ally and the girls danced and sang, and he played the guitar. He had as much fun as they did. They called Jazz on stage, and
she played piano alongside MASS’s pianist. The show was great, and at the end of the night both bands went out to a small restaurant outside the city and ate a very late dinner. They then went to a pub and danced and sang with the Juke Box. Jazz seemed far less awkward than normal. The tour was sold out all over Europe. MASS was climbing the charts. There were only two more concerts to go both in Germany: Munich and then Frankfurt. Jazz was doing well. She and Zach were even talking more. She was alright if the conversation was not about her youth. When the subject came up, she would simply get up and walk away… not flip out like she used to. Maddox was happy, he enjoyed fewer and fewer after concert autograph signing sessions in the dressing room. He preferred going to dinner and hanging out with his friends, old and new. He no longer drank before shows-- occasionally he would hit the pipe with the crew before taking stage, but it was not always necessary. He could still not fall asleep at night without seeing her face, so he continued taking a few hits before dozing off to sleep. MASS had been contacted about taking part in a fundraiser in Zurich. Ally asked Maddox advice, and he told her it would be a great opportunity for further exposure. It was a few weeks after the tour ended and he offered her any help she needed and a place for her and the band to stay. When the tour ended at Brody’s request, Maddox went back to Liverpool to spend time with them for a few days.
Maddox walked into the entry and London and Lexington greeted him with a welcome home sign and balloons. He smiled and picked them both up and spun them in a circle. Brody and Emma hugged him, and they all went into the dining room to eat dinner. “How long are you staying?” London asked. “Yeah, how long?” Lexington copied her exact tone. Both blunt and to the point. “As long as it takes for me to drive you both mad,” he laughed. “London’s mad at you already,” Lexington smirked. “Am not.” “You said so, uh huh,” Lexington frowned. “I missed him. I wasn’t mad, Lexington,” London began to turn red. “I missed you both as well. I’m not upset, London, I have been pretty absent lately. I apologize. Will you forgive me, please?” “Depends,” London smiled. “What are your terms, London?” “Never go a week without visiting again.” “Unless I’m on tour… done.” “Never go a day without calling.” “Alright, unless I have a terrible cold and I cannot speak,” Maddox held his throat in jest. “Never go a day without sending a text.” “Unless my fingers are broken or my phone has been eaten by dreadful dragons, done.” “When did you talk to Harper last?” Maddox smiled sadly, “It has been a very long time.” “Okay London, that’s enough,” Emma said softly. “No, that’s fine. When did you last speak to her, London?” “A week ago. I made her promise to call me once a week. She is living in Sweden now. An internship with the Who,” London took a bit of her mashed potatoes.
“The band?” Maddox was surprised. London laughed, “No silly, the WHO, the World Health Organization. She has been here for two months,” London changed her voice mimicking Harper’s; she’s having a fabulous time. She enjoys her job a great deal.” Maddox took a drink and cleared his throat. “How long will she be here?” “I guess it’s a six month gig. Then she’ll graduate from Cornell. She seems pretty excited,” London smiled. “That’s great, does she call often?” “Yep, she’ll call right before I go to bed tonight.” “Hmm that’s nice, London.” Brody and Emma looked at each other with concern in their eyes and Maddox noticed, “I will not make trouble for her.” “We didn’t think you would, Maddox.” “Then what is with the look?” Maddox was getting frustrated. “This, right here is your home. You need to be happy here.” “I am.” Maddox ate in silence. When everyone was finished he and London cleared the table and washed dishes, with a little help from Lexington.
Maddox was in London’s bedroom waiting to read to her when her phone rang. She was still in the bathroom, so he answered it. “Hello.” “Oh I’m sorry I must have the wrong number.” “Harper?” “Who is this?” her voice had softened. “It’s Maddox, Harper. London is in the bathroom.” “Okay I’ll call her another…” “No, please stay on the phone… she’ll be here any minute. She would be upset if she didn’t hear from you.” “Ok.” They sat in silence for what seemed like ages. Maddox cleared his throat, “How have you been?” “Fine.” Her answer was quick and short. “Good, that’s very good to hear.” “Why?” “Why is it good that you’re fine?” “Never mind.” “No, I think I can handle answering that question.” “I would prefer you didn’t.” “Harper, please don’t be angry at me anymore.” “I’m not, I just feel like this is a waste of time.” “Well we sort of are wasting time aren’t we?” Maddox smiled, and she heard it in his voice. She did not reply or hang up, “Harper, Jazz is getting better.” “That’s great Maddox.”
“Yes I think so as well. She is actually pleasant to be around.” “Well I’m happy for both of you.” “Why then did you say it like that?” “Please let London know I called. She can call me back any…” “What just happened, Harper?” “Maddox, nothing just happened, okay? Absolutely nothing. I am happy for you both. I don’t know what more you want me to say.” “Anything Harper… say anything. It’s just really good to hear your voice.” Again she did not answer. “I’ll stop talking now again I am,” the phone went dead, “Are you there Harper? Harper are you…” Maddox looked at the phone and read call ended, “FUCK!” “That’s a bad word,” London walked in and bounced on the bed. “Sorry.” “She is mad at you?” “Yes.” “You will be okay, Maddox. Just give it time.” “I certainly don’t deserve her kindness or yours.” “Of course you do. I love you.” “I love you more,” Maddox smiled at her. “Not true,” he tickled her and she laughed, “Not possible!” he tickled her more, “NOT EVEN CLOSE!” Brody walked in and chuckled, “Lexington is asleep, or was.” Maddox sat up and smiled, “Sorry, Dad.” Brody hugged them both and walked out the door. London grabbed her phone and dialed it. She held the phone to her ear and held Maddox’s hand. “Hello,” Harper answered. “Do you have a cold?” “Well hello, London.” “Sorry I missed your call I was in the bathroom.” “That’s alright, how was your week?” “It’s better now.” “Why is that?” “Well my brother is here, and I am on the phone with you. I’m just happy.” “I am glad you are happy.” “Cool. So the holidays are coming up. You live close now; can you come to Thanksgiving and Christmas?” “I won't be able to for Thanksgiving. I have a fundraiser the day before. I am pretty sure I’ll be tired.” “What kind of fundraiser?” “Raising money for WHO, a concert actually.” “Oh that’s sounds like fun. Who’s playing?” London looked at Maddox and raised her eyebrows. “I am not in charge of that, but I don’t think it’s anyone really popular.” “So that’s next week?” “Yes.” “We should plan something for Christmas.” “We will see okay? If not, maybe something when I am done here.” “When will you be done with your internship?” “The beginning of March. And then I have to find a real job,” Harper laughed. “I bet you will be good at whatever you do.”
“Aw thanks London-- you are very sweet.” “So are you. I miss you.” “I miss you as much.” “I love you.” “I love you as much.”
Maddox laid in his room looking at the ceiling, wishing he did not pick today to try the whole sobriety thing. He knew Emma and Brody had not restocked the wine cellar since the last time he was home, and he sure as hell was not going to lie around trying to fall asleep when he knew it would not happen. He jumped out of bed and threw on his sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. He grabbed his keys and snuck down the stairs and out the back door. He drove down to the waterfront and hopped out of his car and locked it with the remote. And walked to the spot he had first performed with T. He sat with his hood up and drank a glass of wine and watched some street performers. They were pretty good. He had a few more glasses, and the group took a break. “Hey man, are you Maddox Hines?” the guitarist asked Maddox. “Yeah, but not tonight. Tonight I am just like you,” Maddox shook his hand. “Cool, wanna go catch a buzz?” “Sounds wonderful,” Maddox drank his glass and stood up and followed him.
Maddox woke to someone tapping on his car window. He sat up confused and high as the moon. He unrolled the window and laughed. “Mr. Hines, can you please step out of the car?” “I sure can try, what is the problem officer?” “Your car in the ditch for starters.” “Oh shit, I must have fallen asleep.” The officer put him in the back of the car, and Maddox laughed, “Silly question but are you taking me back home?” “You could have killed yourself or someone else tonight.” “I honestly drank a couple glasses of wine and I probably should not be telling you this, but off the record I took a couple hits of some pot. This has never happened before.” “Was it your own?” “Nah.” “That’s pretty stupid.” “I know.” The police officer called a tow truck and they waited on the side of the road. “Maddox, I’m going to take you home. I don’t feel real good about this either, you can’t do shit like this. You could have killed someone. I’m going to say you swerved to miss an animal. This is your one get out of jail free card. I swear to the Lord himself if I hear of this happening again I’ll make sure you don’t get away with it.”
Maddox woke the next morning to Brody pacing at the foot of his bed. “Good morning,” Maddox sat up and rubbed his eyes. “It’s noon, Maddox!” Brody was trying to keep his cool. “You are all over the news.” “Okay, I can explain.” “Do not bullshit me!” “I won’t.” Maddox told Brody exactly what had happened; leaving out that the kid was in a band. He knew his father’s temper, and he knew if he were to tell him Brody would end up in jail. When he walked down the stairs London looked up and then turned away from him and walked outside. He followed her. “You’re mad at me?” “Were you drinking?” Maddox brows knit together, and he let out a frustrated breath. “You said you loved me right?” he nodded, “You lied and I do not want to talk to you anymore.” London walked towards the house, and he grabbed her arm. “I do love you, London.” “Do you remember hearing about my daddy, Maddox? He loved me enough to stop doing this kind of thing. But I sure remember how bad it hurt when he was doing it. It felt like SHIT, Maddox!” “Shit is a bad word, London,” Maddox forced a smile. “I don’t care. Why don’t you just leave if you don’t love us enough to be here? Just leave!” London ran in the house crying, and Maddox stood outside feeling as if he may do the same. Emma grabbed London’s arm when she ran in, “What just happened out there?” “I told him he was like Daddy was, and that he doesn’t love us, and that he should leave!” Brody dropped the plate he was holding, and Emma looked at him, “Go Brody.” “London he is not like daddy okay? He has had a really bad start to life but he is getting better,” Emma held her as she cried. “No, he is not getting better, he is just here less! He doesn’t love us, he loves her!” “London, I want you to really think about how you would feel if he left right now okay?” “I would feel the same as I always do! Scared he won’t come back! Scared he will get hurt or die like everyone else!” Emma pulled her tight and held her as she sobbed. Brody and Maddox had heard everything she had said. Maddox had not moved from the place she had left him standing. “I think I need help, Dad,” Maddox whispered. “I’ll do whatever you need,” Brody wrapped his arm around his shoulder and they stood looking at the garden listening to London cry.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Switzerland Harper sat in the bay window of her third floor apartment overlooking the lake in Geneva, Switzerland. It was a quiet and practical place to live. She was half a mile from the train station that took her to work every morning. She was about 200 yards from a lake that she often sat by on weekend mornings feeding the ducks. The apartment itself was completely white with a spacious open floor plan. It came furnished and had around the clock security and staff that was willing to take care of anything she asked of them, which was not much. She was sure her father paid them dearly for it each month. She wrapped her gray cardigan around herself in response to the chill in the air and laughed to herself when she realized it was outside, not in her apartment. At times she was annoyed by the luxurious living conditions she was surrounded by and wished her parents had given into the flat she desperately wanted in the heart of the city. In light of recent findings, she was happy they did not allow it. The quiet calm and peace of this place was what she needed now, and she knew it. A place to sit and look over the lake. A place she did not look down on the streets and see lovers strolling arm in arm. A place to get over Maddox so she could be the person she needed to be for the next phase of her life. Talking to London was normally so comforting. She looked forward to hearing her talk about Lexington and her schooling. The love in her voice was like a hundred hugs. But two days after the last conversation she was already getting nervous about her weekly call. Her only distraction would come in the form of her unexpected new closest friend and confidant Blake James. Harper had taken her internship in Switzerland with complete confidence that she would not know anyone. She was looking forward to it. She would be working for an organization that helped fund some of the programs her family had run since before she was born. It was not what she had planned for her future to be, not even close, but things had changed. She knew she would need them more than ever, and as much as she needed them, both her parents would need to be very involved with the next phase in her life. When she walked into the meeting room that morning weeks ago she was not feeling well. She was homesick and disgusted by the photos and reports popping up all over the internet about Maddox and the band members of MASS. They were inseparable. Every night at a different restaurant or club with photos of Maddox laughing and smiling with them. The blondes name was Ally; she knew it because she had read it. She and Maddox seemed very close. Even Jazz seemed to like her. When she saw the picture of the two of them in Germany singing at a pub and later dancing close, she knew he was falling for her just like he had fallen for Harper. She looked up when the head of the internship program introduced their newest doctor, Blake James. He did not look at her. He introduced himself and talked about his schooling and then about the foundation he had worked for every summer that had lead him to leave his surgical rotation in order to pursue what he was passionate about. When they broke for lunch, she found him. “Did they put you up to this?” Harper snapped at him. “No, it just kind of happened.” Blake did not look at her, he looked over her, “No one needs to know who your parents are if that’s what you are worried about. We can just pretend we don’t know each other.” “Fine,” she walked away and didn’t talk to him for a week. As fate had it, they were put on the same committee for the upcoming Giving Thanks fundraiser. They had worked together for three months now side by side. He was the head of their committee, her boss. She worked her ass off for him. He demanded no less from her or anyone else. He walked into their weekly
meetings in his tailored suits and perfectly polished shoes. His hair always in place and his face shaved. He did not look like the boy that she had pushed into the pond or whose shoulders she sat on at her graduation party and he certainly did not act like him. It took her two weeks to figure out who it was that he reminded her of and when she finally did, it was in the middle of a presentation he was giving to the committee, herself, and twelve other interns. She laughed out loud and then quickly covered her mouth. Everyone in the room gasped, and she looked up at him with her blue eyes wide. She saw a glimpse of the boy he was back then at the pond before he disappeared under the mask. As soon as he dismissed them she stood quickly. His voice boomed, “Harper, a moment please.” She felt like she was being called to the Principal's office for the first time in her life. When the room was empty he looked at her, “Do you care to tell me what was so funny?” She looked at him with his arms crossed over his chest and laughed again. He looked at her confused and embarrassed which made her laugh more and cover her mouth, “Are you drunk?” “No,” she wiped her tears away caused by laughter. It had been the first time she had laughed in months. “Spill it,” he scowled. “Your pants are undone,” she smiled, and he looked down quickly. He looked up at her and shook his head no. “Fine, I have been trying to figure out who the new super in control, no emotions to be seen, Dr. Badass you reminded me of.” “Care to share?” he raised an eyebrow. “My Dad,” she smiled. “Are you homesick, Harper?” his face seemed softer. “I think so.” “I’m sorry.” “I should be the one apologizing. See you around Dr. James.” A week later she became ill with some sort of killer bug and called him to inform him she would not be able to come in. His voice mail picked up, and she left a message. Three hours later he was at her door with chicken noodle soup, crackers, and ginger ale. She threw up on his feet and he laughed, and she started to cry. When he had cleaned himself up he walked out of the bathroom looking sadly at her. It took only a few seconds for her to realize why. He sat next to her on the white couch, barefoot, in his boxers, and his crisp white dress shirt. He called the apartments concierge, and within an hour he had sweatpants, socks, a sweatshirt, and three comedies delivered. They spent the entire weekend on the couch curled up under blankets talking about the work he and she had both done that drew them to this place and time. The doorbell rang bringing her back to the here and now. Blake used his key to get in. “Good morning,” he smiled and gave her a quick hug, “How is everyone?” “That depends, did you bring me nusstorte?” “Yes and some schokoladenpretzel’s.” “Then the world is perfect,” Harper snatched the bag from his hand, and they both laughed. “Alright, I will be gone for three days. I’ll return in time to pick you up and head down to Hallenstadion. You’re good?” “I am great,” Harper took a big bite of the nut cake. “Alright then see you later?” “Call me when you land?” Harper talked with her mouth full. “Now how could I say no to you?”
Blake and Harper walked into the stadium separately. He talked to a few people she had met at the office before making her way towards the VIP tents. She was grateful it was not as cold as had been predicted, it was actually unseasonably warm for this time of year-- it was almost sixty degrees. She wore her W.H.O sweatshirt, hat, and mittens. They finished unpacking the VIP gift bags ten minutes before the gates opened. And Blake finally made it to the heated tent to make sure everything was correct. “Looks good everyone, excellent job. Please be sure you give the artists the correct bags, they are gold, and the VIP’s get what color?” “Red,” they all answered. “Great job team. One last thing, have fun today. I am officially off the clock and here to volunteer my time just like everyone else.” “Sure he is,” Harper heard someone behind her snicker. “Holy shit-- boss man has jeans on, check out that ass, who would have thought,” Harper looked behind her and laughed. The event was to last four hours from the first act to the last. Harper did not even know who was playing she only knew Brody and Maddox were not. Each person had been assigned shifts; hers was first she would work for two hours, and then she was free to do whatever she wanted. Coincidentally Blake was assigned those hours as well since he made the schedule. When MASS was introduced Harper felt her heart beat stronger. She didn’t even realize where she was or what she was doing when she wound up in the front row of the VIP section standing there looking up at the blonde from the photos. They did two songs, the same as each band had. “We have one more song that we would like to play for you all tonight with our special guest. Come on out Maddox Hines!” The crowd went wild and Harper felt her eyes burning. He walked out on stage, and the blonde pointed towards Harper. Tears fell down her cheek, and he stood in front of the microphone, “Don’t you cry, Sweetness.” She wiped her face quickly and looked around. She wasn’t sure if he was talking to her and she looked back up, “Yeah you---- there’s no one else.” Harper saw Blake walking towards her, and she looked at him and wiped her face, “Get me out of here.” “Okay, you’ll be alright,” Blake took her hand, and they tried to make their way out of the crowd. More people had moved in when they heard Maddox’s name and no one was moving. Blake whispered “Sorry,” and hugged her as she cried into his chest. He glared up at Maddox and Maddox closed his eyes and sang the chorus. I need you to, tell me that you hate me, I need you tell me that, so I can't, walk away and leave you lonely and crying. I need you to, tell me that you hate me So I can know inside, this is for real, and not just my twisted heart that's lying. I need you to, Tell me that you Hate me The words they mean so much, from you, it says your love once was true, I need you to, Tell me that you hate me I can love you Sweetness, even harder, I’ll never leave you sad and blue I need you to, tell me that you hate me, And this crazy messed up heart is yours eternal, this burning soul will leave you never
I need you to, Tell me that you hate me So I can move on from right now and walk hand in hand with you into forever.
Harper was crying so hard she did not hear the rest of the words. The song ended and Maddox watched Blake and Harper walking out of the VIP area. He smiled and walked off stage scrambling past everyone to find her before he lost her. He saw them walking out of the side gate, “Harper, wait!” Blake stopped, and Harper continued to walk. Maddox started to walk past Blake, and he stopped him, “She doesn’t want to see you.” “Oh man-- you really don’t want to stand in my way right now,” Maddox laughed irritably. Blake started to talk, and Maddox moved left and then quickly right. Blake grabbed his shirt and tried holding him back. “Hey Harper, your buddy here has his hands on me, and I really don’t want to break his face!” Maddox yelled behind her. She stopped and turned around and stormed at Maddox. She pushed him, “Why are you here?” she pushed him again, “Haven’t you done enough?” He stood there and let her beat on him. “Harper, come on let’s get you home,” Blake stood in front of her. “NO! What did I ever do to you, Maddox?” Harper was sobbing, “Why do you keep doing this to me?” she pushed him again. “Harper, we need to get you out of here, people we work with are going to see you,” Blake said softly. “I don’t fucking care! Hate is not a strong enough word, Maddox,” Harper pushed him again, “I loathe you, you disgust me! Go get your fucking blow jobs by the whores you said I was worse than …I DETEST YOU!” Harper turned and walked into the parking lot she looked back at Maddox, “Why? Why!” She took a step to cross the driveway and a car struck her. She lay on the ground completely still. Maddox and Blake both ran to her side. “Harper?” Blake grabbed her. Maddox saw blood on the side of her face, and her elbow was going in the wrong direction, “Easy Blake,” Maddox took his shirt of and cleaned the side of her head, “Your arm hurt, Sweetness?” “Screw you,” Harper tried to sit up and her lip quivered. “Lay down and relax for a few minutes,” Maddox started. “I’m a doctor Hines, I got this!” “How about you call an ambulance,” Maddox tried not to contain his disdain for Blake. “I will…” “Listen up Doc-- her arm is pretty messed up, and she has a head injury, call an ambulance!” “There are several here already…” “Then go fucking get one!” Harper tried sitting again, “I would not suggest that,” Maddox pushed her hair away from her cut and smiled, “This is not how I expected our reunion to go, Sweetness.” “Shut up Maddox, just shut up,” Harper tried to hit him and yelled out in pain. “You can't hit me right now, but I promise you can beat the shit out of me when your boo- boo is all better,” Maddox tried to kiss her head. “Leave me alone,” Harper started to cry, “Just leave me alone!” “Not going to happen, I am nothing if not persistent, just like you said all those years...” “I was a kid Maddox. I am a woman now, and I don’t want you…Oh God!’ “What is it?” Her left arm covered her stomach, and she cringed.
“Your stomach? Are you bleeding?” Maddox grabbed the hem of her sweatshirt, and she held it tight, “I have to look Harper, come on I promise I won’t...” Blake ran towards her, “They will be here any second okay?” “Harper?” Maddox was confused and looked back down. “Sorry, just forget it okay?” “I won’t. How long have you known?” Blake looked down and then looked at Harper, “It’s none of your concern.” “Like hell it’s not!” “It’s mine!” “Nice try douchebag! Go flag down that ambulance!” “How about you go …” “Hey Sweetness, lots of things have changed in the past few weeks, one thing has not. I have a slightly bad temper. This is not about him, and he needs to walk,” Maddox looked at Blake, “Did you catch that? She needs a fucking ambulance!” Harper’s eyes become heavy and then it was dark.
Harper woke in the ambulance to an awful smell. She opened her eyes, and Maddox was sitting behind her stroking and kissing her head. “Where’s Blake? “I’m right here,” Blake was in the front of the ambulance sitting next to the driver, and he was clearly annoyed. “I called your parents, they are…” “You what?” “He said they didn’t know about our child,” Maddox tried not to smile, “I didn’t tell them anything other than which hospital we would be at and that you would be fine.” “And then I gave your father a medical assessment of your situation. Which as a doctor he needed,” Blake glared at Maddox. “And then I sang said assessment to your mother. As a mother that’s what she needed,” Maddox winked at Harper and then looked at the paramedic, “Is there some sort of curtain we can close, the noise from up front is slightly annoying,” He smiled and looked at Harper, “You are going to be just fine, I’ll make sure of it.” “What are you going to do sing her well?” “Oh Blake, you and I are going to…” “Stop, both of you please stop,” Harper began to cry. Maddox closed his eyes, “You know what your tears do to me?” Harper tried to lift her arm to wipe her face and cried out on pain. “I got them,” Maddox kissed her cheek. “Enough,” Harper snapped, “You don’t get to just show up and act like everything is fine, Maddox!” “I never said everything is fine Harper, but you don’t need to worry about it. You worry about healing. I’ll worry about how I am going to spend forever making it up to you.” “Stop talking like that!” “Okay Sweetness. I’m sorry,” Maddox looked into her eyes and took her right hand he held it to his chest and then kissed her fingers. She pulled her hand away and closed her eyes. When they arrived at the hospital the paramedics wheeled Harper into an exam room. A nurse put her
hands up stopping them both, “One at a time.” “I’m a doctor,” Blake smirked. Maddox glared at him, “I agree that you have medical knowledge pal so I’ll concede. But when you get answers I go in.” “She doesn’t want you in there.” “You going to stand here and argue with me or go see how MY girl is doing?” Maddox pointed to the exam room.
Maddox stood against the wall with his hands shoved in his pockets and his head hanging down. Harper was pregnant and he did not care what the douchebag said, he knew it was his. She loved him, and he loved her. Everything would be fine. He didn’t understand why she had not told her parents. He wanted to tell his, and London, she would be so happy. He smiled and tilted his head back against the wall, and they wheeled her out he looked at her and she scowled at him. Blake started to walk by him, and he stuck his hand out stopping him, “What’s up Doc?” “Get your hand off of me,” Maddox took his hand away, “They are going to do some x-ray’s.” “Is that safe?” Maddox gasped. “It has to be done. They will put an apron on her. It is fine,” Blake walked away. Maddox took out his phone and sent a text to Ally, T, and Zach telling them what had happened and that he did not know when he would return. He called Brody and he answered as the pushed the stretcher by. Harper scowled at him again and he looked away. All the happy feelings were fading quickly. He had played the scenario in his head for a week of how this day would go. Nothing was going as planned. His nerves were getting the best of him. “You can go in, they gave her something to relax her and…” Maddox did not wait to hear what Blake had to say he walked quickly past him and into the exam room. Harper looked up at him and then back to the nurse, “The Orthopedic Surgeon will be in to set your arm after he reviews the x-rays and radiologists reports. It looks like there will be no need for surgery which is great news for you and this little one. Keep the ice on it. Swelling will make it harder to set. Shall we take a peek?” Harper’s heavy eyes closed briefly, and she smiled and opened them again, “Yes please, I haven’t done this yet. Maddox you should go.” “Should I Harper, or should I be here by your side when we see our child for the first time.” “It is my child,” Harper rubbed her belly. “May I please stay?” Harper looked at the nurse, “Go ahead.” Maddox tried to keep his emotions in check when they pulled the wand out and applied the lubricant. Harper looked up at him and giggled. He closed his eyes and held her hand. “Okay here we go,” the nurse turned the screen so that they could see it better; she pointed out the heart and each part of the growing baby. Maddox pointed to the screen, “It’s a boy?” “No, that’s the leg,” the nurse laughed and so did Harper. “If it’s a boy there will not be much difference,” Maddox whispered in Harper’s ear. “When will we be able to tell the sex?” “Harper do you want to know?”
“Do you, Maddox?” her speech was slow. “Of course,” Maddox smiled and rubbed her hand. “No, I don’t want to,” Harper giggled, and the nurse laughed. “Sorry, Momma rules,” the nurse smiled. “Whatever she wants,” Maddox rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “How about you write it down and put it in an envelope,” Harper smiled as she looked at the screen. “When my mind is clear I will make that decision.” “Of course,” the nurse smiled and winked at Maddox. When she left the room Harper looked at Maddox who held a copy of the sonogram picture, and she could not tell what he was thinking. He felt her watching him and looked at her. “Sorry.” “Rest, you need to heal.” “They are going to be in soon,” Harpers lip quivered. “Are you afraid?” “Yes.” “Of the pain?” “Of all of it, Maddox.” “I promise you…” “Don’t, please just don’t.” “You’re very angry at me, I understand, but…” “Stop, just stop!” “Okay. I am not here to upset you, Harper; I did not expect all of this. But I am here now, and I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what you need from me right now. Whatever you need me to do I’ll do it.” “Just stop talking.” Maddox sat still holding her hand as she fell asleep. The doctor came into the room and smiled, “Maddox Hines.” “Yes. This is Harper, she just fell asleep, and she is very tired. She’s pregnant and in pain. Whatever you need to do please do it as quickly and painlessly as possible.” “I’ll certainly try.” The doctor looked over his paperwork and then looked at her arm. She was still asleep when he lifted it. She moved slightly and pulled the hand Maddox held against her face. “Should I wake her?” “I’m not sure.” “Could she sleep through this?” “Probably not, we need to raise the back of the bed,” he raised the bed using the remote and Harper opened her eyes and looked at Maddox. “The doctor is going to fix your arm,” Maddox leaned over and held her back, helping her to sit. “Okay,” she rested her head against his chest, “Maddox why don’t you have a shirt on?” “I used it to clean up the blood from your head.” “Oh. It doesn’t hurt.” “I’m glad.” “Harper, I am Doctor Ryan. This may hurt a bit but as soon as it's back in place we will take another picture, and hopefully you can get out of here.”
Harper was asleep on Maddox’s chest for over an hour. He didn’t move, he barley even breathed. She
opened her eyes and sat up. “Do you feel any better?” Maddox stroked her back. “Yes, where is Blake?” “We can leave soon. I’ll take you back to Geneva. Emma is on her way now….” “What?” “Your mother called her and asked that she stay with you until they can get here.” “Seriously? This is not happening.” “They care about you.” “They don’t know, Maddox. I was not ready for anyone to know and now this. Why did you come?” “To tell you I love you, to tell you I am sorry. I came to win back your heart.” “Well look at me now, huh?” “How long have you known?” “Two months.” “Why didn’t you call me, Harper?” She looked away from him, “I didn’t want you to know. This does not change anything with us, Maddox. When the baby is born it is my responsibility not…” “It is my responsibility. I want to take care of my child, and you, Harper.” She rolled her eyes and let out a perturbed groan, “I don’t want you to! I want you to just leave me alone!” Maddox looked away from her and swallowed hard, “When you are released I’m driving you back. We will tell our parents together. We’ll move forward from there.” “Do you not understand what I just said?” “Harper, do you not understand that things are changing?” “I don’t want you around me, Maddox. Nothing has to change for you, just go! Go back to the girls, and the drugs, and the stage. I have handled this just fine without you.” “Have you, Harper?” “What the hell is that supposed to mean!” “Let’s get one thing straight. Blake is not my child’s father. He may be the one you have chosen to lean on, and you have no idea how pissed off I am that that fuck knew about this, and I did not.” “What do you want, Maddox? Let’s see, let me paint you the picture of what I will not allow to happen to my child, growing in my body. The child will NOT be in a house filled with rock stars, getting high and drunk. It will not be waiting in any line to see it’s father after he fucks his fans, it will not be hanging with Uncle T after the show talking about who likes drums and who likes guitars, it will not be exposed to the likes of Jazz who will tell them how much his or her father likes to watch when she brings friends over and then gets her off. It will never be told that he or she is no different from the whores in the lines outside a fucking dressing room and then dismissed! I didn’t tell you because I did not want you to know, Maddox. The very few moments I thought maybe you should know I would pop on the internet and see you with the girls from that band. You make me sick. I make me sick! To think I fell for this shit and now for the rest of my life I’ll have to protect MY child from all of that!” Maddox was glaring at Harper his chest rose and fell quickly. The doctor walked in with discharge papers just as he was about to open his mouth. He gave instructions and then asked who was taking her home. “I am,” Maddox glared at her. “Blake drove me here.” Maddox bent down and whispered in her ear, “I don’t give a fuck.” When the nurse pushed Harper out of the hospital a black town car and a cab waited outside. “The cab will take you to get your car Blake,” Maddox opened the door to the town car, “Get in Harper.”
Harper looked at Blake, “She’s riding with me, Hines.” “No she is not, we have some things to discuss,” Maddox looked at her, “Get in.” “Or what?” “Or I call our parents and tell them everything I have learned in the past six hours.” “What are you, two?” “Whatever you need me to be, Harper. Now get the fuck in the car!” She sat still, and he picked her up, set her in and shut the door. He started walking around to the other side and Blake stood in front of him, “You can move and get in that cab or stand here and they’ll be wheeling your ass back inside.” “She needs to rest!” “She’ll be fine.” “She needs me with her.” “My child has heard your fucking voice enough! Go find someone else to play hero to. She doesn’t need you, she has me.” “She doesn’t want you.” “Oh she does Blake, she always has.” Maddox pushed him out of the way and got in the car, “Drive.” “Do you feel better now? Was that necessary? He has been a god send to me Maddox, a true friend.” “He wants to fuck you Harper, learn the difference.” “Maybe he already has,” Harper looked smugly at him. “Nice try…” “I slept with him, Maddox.” Maddox laughed, “You are so full of shit right now, Sweetness.”
They pulled in front of her building, and he jumped out and ran and opened the door for her. He held his hand out to help her, and she refused it. She stood and held her head and the car door steadying herself. He picked her up and cradled her in his arms. “If you don’t put me down I swear I am going to scream!” “Shut it Betty bad butt,” Maddox raised his eyebrow and kept walking. She hid her face in his chest as he carried her through the lobby and got on the elevator. “Can you please put me down now?” Maddox stepped off the elevator, and Emma walked up to them, “Are you okay Harper?” “I’m fine. Put me down now, Maddox. Emma you really didn’t have to come.” “You were hurt, and I was closer than your Mom-- of course I came,” Emma hugged her and walked towards the apartment, “I hope you don’t mind the doorman let me in.” Maddox held the door for her and followed her in, “Wow, this is nice. Very white.” “Yeah, bright, cheerful, like a brand new canvas. And all mine,” Harper rolled her eyes at him. “So were you surprised to see Maddox, he has been working really hard…” “Mom, please,” Maddox looked embarrassed. “Sorry, I just….sorry. Have you two had a chance to talk things over?” “We have been kind of busy. Are you hungry? Harper can I get you anything?” Maddox opened the refrigerator. “There is nothing but yogurt and pastries in here, not real healthy.” Emma looked at him and whispered, “That’s not helping.”
“Did you get a rental? Can I get the keys? I’m going to grab some food and fill her prescription. Harper, anything I can get for you while I am out?” “Yogurt and chocolate,” Harper smiled obnoxiously. “Do you have a grill?” “Yep.” Maddox walked up to Harper, grabbed her hair and pulled it back so she was looking up at him, “Chicken or beef?” “Guitar or drums?” she scowled. He kissed her quickly and turned and walked away. Emma watched as she rubbed her fingers across her lips slowly. When Harper saw her smile she wiped them harder and made a disgusted face. “He’s trying you know. He loves you, Harper.” “I’m going to bed. It’s been a very long day. The spare room is right down there. I’m sorry I’m not good company.” “I’ll wake you when dinner is ready.” “I’m really not hungry, it is really late. Do you know where Maddox left the discharge paperwork?” “No, but when he gets back I’ll ask him.” “Thanks, I will see you in the morning?” “I’ll be here all day tomorrow. My flight leaves at nine tomorrow night.” “Okay, good night.” Harper walked into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush and brushed her teeth. She brushed her hair and pulled it to the side. She took off her jeans that were now getting too tight, one handed. It was a lot harder than she thought it would be. She grabbed a clean t-shirt and tried to take off her bra. It was impossible. She pulled her t shirt over her head and carefully removed it. She tried to put the new one on but was too tired, emotional, and in pain to continue trying. She pulled back the white duvet and crawled into the middle of the King size bed. She grabbed the body pillow from the top and laid it next to her. She laid down and snuggled into it and fell asleep quickly.
Maddox walked into the apartment with his arms full of bags. Emma laughed and grabbed some of them that he had hung from his arms. “Do you think you got enough?” “I don’t know I can go back if I didn’t. Where is she?” “In bed, she is tired.” They put away the groceries together, “She asked where her discharge papers were.” “Right here,” Maddox grabbed the folded paper from his back pocket, and one dropped to the ground. Emma bent down and picked it up, “Oh Maddox, is this Harpers?” Maddox looked up from what he was reading and let out a slow forced breath, “No one knows, well no one except that Fuck Blake. He knows.” “Is it yours?” “Yep. You can't tell anyone Mom okay? She has not even told her parents.” “When did you find out?” “Today, right after she got hit. Unbelievable fucking day, what a damn mess and she detests me. The way she looks at me, the way she pushes me away. She told me to leave and forget about this. She told me it was her child, not ours. That her child would not be raised around the crap I am around. I cannot
believe she thinks that of me, I would never expose my child to that. Fuck, I let her go so she didn’t have to deal with my shit.” “Is it really that hard to believe, Maddox? She sees what’s reported, not the truth. You just have to tell her what you have done to change things in your life. She loved you then Maddox; she is going to fall head over heels now.” “God I hope so. She needs to ice her arm every four hours and she can have a pain pill. I’m going to get her something to eat and take care of her arm.” “Maddox it’s almost two in the morning, she is exhausted. Let her sleep. I am going to the spare bedroom to sleep myself. Unless you want it.” “Nope, I’ll take the couch. Thanks so much for coming. Hey are Grandma Caroline and Grandpa Henry back from the States yet?” “Yes, got in yesterday, why?” “I want Dad to know when her parents find out. I don’t want him to feel like I did today. Sucked so badly.” “I’ll call and see if he can get here” Emma hugged him tightly, “You are going to be a great Daddy, Maddox.” “You know what? I am not going to dispute that. It’s so odd. I know I should be worried or nervous but when I think of holding my child, my child with Harper, I feel so at peace.” Emma smiled, “You are going to make me cry.” “I am going to make you proud.” Maddox sounded so convinced and confident, she hugged him again, “Goodnight Maddox, I love you more.”
Maddox walked into the bedroom, lighting its darkness with his phone. He shined it to the left and saw a bathroom. He walked in and flipped on its light. He could now see the dimly lit bed and Harper hugging something tightly. He looked at the time, she was past due for her medicine, and he needed to ice her arm. He set everything on the nightstand next to her and pushed the hair out of her face. She whimpered in pain when she moved. “Hey Sweetness, you need to take some pills and let me ice your elbow,” Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she sat up. “I am tired, so tired. It hurts,” she cringed. “I know, take a drink,” he held up a cup with a straw. “We have straws?” He smiled, “WE do.” “That’s not what I meant,” Harper rolled her eyes and took a drink. “Pills,” he held them, “Open your mouth.” “I think I can handle it.” “Let me,” she opened her mouth and he put them on her tongue, “Now drink. I brought you a sandwich. If you’re not hungry too bad, but the medication says to take with food.” Harper took a bite, “Oh my goodness what is this?” “Nutella, tastes kind of like chocolate and it has sliced strawberries, you like?” “I love,” she took the sandwich from him and ate the whole thing. He smiled as he watched her eat when she was done he handed her a moist cloth and smiled, “Baby wipes, I could not help myself.”
“You’re ridiculous.” “But you are smiling finally, and you're not even high yet.” “You fed me. I am pregnant and done throwing up every time I eat so yes, of course I smiled.” “I’ll take it however I can get it. I will feed you chocolate and strawberries every day, if that’s what it takes.” “I’ll weigh two hundred pounds if you do.” “Your tits are close to that now,” Maddox smirked. Harper looked down and gasped, “I couldn’t get my bra off and the shirt was winning the battle.” She pulled the duvet up and blushed. “I can help you out,” Maddox bent over her and started to reach behind her. “Don’t,” her breath hitched. “I won't look, Harper,” Maddox mouth was inches from her face. “I’m pregnant.” “You are, we are.” Maddox unsnapped her bra and sat back and cleared his throat and looked down, “God made you so beautiful, Harper.” She closed her eyes, “You should leave.” “After I ice your arm.” Harper looked down, and his running pants were tented, “Um you should…” “Should what Harper?” “Maddox you’re getting…” “You’re showing me your tits, Harper. What did you expect would happen?” “I am not,” Harper looked down, “Holy shit. I am sorry.” “I’m not,” he laughed uncomfortably and stood up, “Where is your night gown?” She turned, and her eyes immediately went to his pants. She was sitting he was standing, and it was right there in her face, “Oh damn it,” she chuckled, “its Thumper.” “Yeah, we have missed you, Sweetness,” Maddox smiled and adjusted himself. “My shirt is right over there,” she pointed, and he grabbed it, she snatched it out of his hands. She pulled it over her head, and he chuckled and pulled it off, “Stop it or I’ll scream.” “Go ahead scream, you’ll wake up Emma. I am trying to help you,” Maddox gently put her arm in through the arm hole and pulled the shirt over her head and kissed her head, “See Harper, I’m just trying to help you out.” Harper’s eyes started getting heavy and she smiled, “Thanks, hey I am really tired and I have to go the bathroom, and I need to sleep.” “I’ll help you.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Geneva Harper woke up with her head on Maddox’s chest. She didn’t move. Like the last time she woke up in his arms, she knew he would be gone soon anyway. She loved him, but it was so wrong. He was incapable of giving her more. She had forced herself to accept that for months, and now here he was. Her first love, kiss, lover, her first everything. She wished she had been smart like Ava. No attachment, just give it away. She closed her eyes and desperately wanted to stay. But it was not going to happen. But today she would have to tell her parents that she was going to have a baby in less than five months. They would have to help her fight like hell to keep this baby safe and loved and away from all the things he would bring into its life. She loved the boy she was about to crush, for a baby she made with him. “Harper, don’t cry,” she looked up into his eyes. “Why are you here?” “To take care of you.” “Why are you in my bed?” Harper whispered. “I fell asleep. It wasn’t intentional, but to wake up like this…” Harper sat up and scooted off the bed. “We need to talk, Harper. This anger and distain is not good for our child.” “I am not talking to you about this.” “We will have to eventually.” “No, we can get lawyers and they can…” “What do we need lawyers for Harper?” “I will not share this child.” “It won’t be like that.” “No, it won’t.” Harper threw on a pair of sweatpants and tried to brush her hair. Maddox stood up and walked towards her, “Let me help you.” “I don’t want your help. I want you to leave. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this with you. I won't go after you for money or anything else. The baby will have my last name…” Maddox sat on the edge of the bed, and his heart began to race, “Harper, I am not going anywhere. We love each other and,” “I don’t love you, Maddox.” He closed his eyes and looked away from her. He stood up and walked out of the bedroom door. Emma was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. “Good morning Maddox. A package came for you, I think its clothes.” “Morning,” he opened the bag and took out a hooded sweatshirt. “I am going to go for a run, clear my head for a bit.” “Maddox, what is going on?” “I just need to clear my head okay.” “Maddox, remember everything that you have worked at for the past week.” “I do. I am going running. Not anything else.” “What brought this on, you look defeated, and it’s all just started.” “Can we talk later?” “Of course, your dad, sisters, and grandparents should be here at the same time as Tessa and Collin
get here. They had an apartment in this building, Dad rented it. Do you know what today is?” Maddox shook his head no, “It’s Thanksgiving, I have ordered dinner it will be delivered to the apartment for all of us.” “That’s good, thanks.” Maddox walked out the door. Emma knew the look in his eyes, and it scared her. She closed her eyes, and tears began to fall. “Are you okay?” Emma wiped her eyes quickly, “Yep, everything will be fine. Did you know it was Thanksgiving?” Harper shook her head no, “Well Brody and the girls are coming. They had and apartment available so we won’t be intruding. We will be hosting dinner for everyone.” “Thanks,” Harper could not look her in the eyes, “I’m still tired. I am just going to get a drink and then go back to bed.” “Don’t you think you should eat, I mean,” Emma stopped talking and her eyes fell to Harper’s stomach. Harper pulled at her shirt, and Emma looked up at her and quickly away. “He told you?” “No, I saw a picture it was not intentional.” “My parents don’t even know.” “Harper, I won’t tell anyone.” “They are going to be so hurt,” Harper started to cry. She wiped her tears and stepped back when Emma tried to hug her, “This is going to get ugly.” “What do you mean, Harper? I know it’s a tough situation, but you two can figure this out. He loves you.” “No, no, no, no. He doesn’t love me. He plays games with me. He hurts me. He is a mess, and you are too close to see it. This baby, my baby, is not going to be exposed to all of what he has become. I’ll never allow my child to be talked to, the way he has talked to me,” Harper began sobbing. “He has changed Harper, he is different,” Emma started to cry; “He loves you. He really does. Harper after all he has been through he can’t go through this.” “I can't either Emma! I can’t either,” Harper sobbed, “You left your ex, you left Troy to keep London safe. He made shitty choices, but he did not live what Maddox did. He can’t do this. He can't! I have thought about all of it for months. I wish I could raise my child with its father, but I felt like I was going to die, Emma. He broke my heart over and over again. He was so mean; he made me feel like a whore. My child was conceived in a fucking bathroom while its father was fucked up, and I was so stupid to allow it, want it. Then he berated me,” Harper stopped and held her stomach and winced, “I’m going back to bed. I’m sorry, but this is not a happily ever after moment, Emma. This is Hell.” Harper turned to walk away and Maddox stood in the doorway, his eyes were large, and he was trembling, “You said Dad rented a place?” Emma nodded; “Can you find out if it’s available, please?” Emma walked down the hall quickly. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Maddox.” “You didn’t hurt me Harper, you just destroyed me. I would like you to call Blake so that you are not alone while you wait for your parents,” Maddox’s voice broke, and he stopped talking and walked to the sink and drank from the faucet and cleared his throat. He cupped water and splashed his face and turned around. Harper was leaning against the counter holding her stomach, “Are you alright?” She nodded. “Why are you holding your stomach?” “The baby kicked,” she scrunched her eyes closed tightly. “For the very first time.” “May I feel it please?” She nodded her head yes and took his hand and held it to her stomach. He closed his eyes tightly and smiled when he felt it.
“I am capable of loving this child. I may never be trusted with your heart again Harper, and I’ll accept that, but I am not walking away from a child. I will protect and love it forever. You don’t have to believe me. I would prefer that it be kept out of the court, but if you need it to be, so be it.” Emma walked out of the bathroom, “It’s available.” “Okay I’ll meet you there, just text me the apartment number. Harper call Blake.” “Don’t tell me what to do,” Harper whispered. “It’s him or me and you have taken comfort in him for months,” Maddox jaw clenched, “And I am very sure you and I, do not want to be around each other.” “I am going to get our things,” Emma said sadly. “Just yours. I’ll get mine, thank you Mom,” his eyes never left Harper’s. “I want you to leave,” Harper hissed. “I want you to call Blake,” Maddox hissed back. “Oh you do you?” “Sure he seems to enjoy playing daddy to my child. Let me ask you something as you sit there and judge how I have dealt with my hell Harper. Did you ever think that you may be pretty fucked up as well?” Maddox clenched his fist, “Call Blake!” “Fuck. You.” He did not reply he grabbed his phone, “You may think I am the biggest piece of shit you have ever met, but I am not leaving you here alone.” “I have been alone for…” “Have you Harper? Or did you have someone’s shoulder to cry on?” “Like you didn’t!” “No, actually I didn’t. I got a few blow jobs when I was fucked up. No big deal at all. You however formed a relationship with someone who wants to poke my child in the fucking head!” “We are friends!” “Harper, that’s great — call your friend.” “I’m going back to bed, I don’t need him.” “Good. Go. I’ll take the couch.” “Oh yeah right. Just like you did last night. I don’t trust you.” “You just told Emma exactly how you feel about me. I get it. And trust me, all warm and fuzzies I had coming to see you yesterday are gone. I want to make sure you are taking care of my child.” “Does it hurt, Maddox?” His eyes lit up, “Fuck…” “Let’s have it tell me how worthless I am, and go ahead and show me and the world as well. The difference between you and I is I actually feel horrible that you heard me talking to Emma. You could give a shit less.” Harper held her stomach again. “You may think I am…Harper every fucking night I went to bed I closed my eyes and saw you crying in that bathroom…” “Oh you mean the night you fucked me against the wall, tore me up, spit me out, and then your fucking live in fuck buddy…” “She is not my fuck buddy!” “No, you just like to watch and then get her off,” Harper started to laugh. “That was before New York. After I had to flee the country because I was drugged and beat up the boy who touched your tit without consent that you didn’t press charges against! Call your fucking boyfriend I don’t want to be here anymore than you want me here, Harper! You are not perfect, I am not perfect!” “No we aren’t are we? I am no different from anyone else!” “Fuck you!”
“Yeah, me and whoever else stands in line huh?” “You know what Harper, that’s where you’re fucking wrong. I never fucked anyone else. That’s where you are different. I never wanted to be inside anyone else, and I never let anyone else inside my fucked up heart or head!” “But I am no different; you showed me that, you show me that every time we try to do this, this, whatever it is.” He grabbed her hand and held it to his heart, “Fine you're no fucking different, but you are mine Harper, you are mine!” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, she tried to pull away, and he held her against him. He pulled her lip with his teeth, she opened her mouth, his tongue rubbed hers and she opened wider. He tilted her head to the side and kissed down her neck. His hand moved down her back slowly until it rested on her butt. Her hand rubbed down his stomach and under his waistband. She gripped him firmly, and he moaned into her shoulder. He lifted her and sat her on the counter. He pulled away and closed his eyes. He lifted her shirt and bent down and kissed her rounded belly softly over and over again. He stood up and pulled her shirt down and looked into her heated eyes. She closed them tightly. “Are you going to call Blake?” She shook her head no, “Then go get your ass into bed and rest. It is Thanksgiving, and we are going to act like adults.” Harper’s eyes shot open, and she glared at him, “Who do you think you are?” “The man you love, the father of your child, and the person who is here right now to make sure your ass rests and heals.” “I am not…” Maddox grabbed her, and she clung to him, “You’re an ass.” “You are going to bed,” Maddox stomped down the hall and into her room, “If you were not carrying my child I would be nailing you to that wall right now.” “What makes you think I would let you?” “Let’s just say I can tell,” he laid her on the bed and ran his nose down the side of her neck and over her pebbled nipples. She moaned loudly and grabbed his hair holding him against her he bit lightly and pulled away. He stood up and covered her with the duvet. “Where are you going?” “To shower.” “You’re such an ass.” “You have already mentioned that. And by the way, I am your ass.”
Maddox walked out of the bedroom and shut the door. He squatted down and drew back his fist. “I don’t think hitting that wall is a good idea,” Emma patted his shoulder. “This is a fucking mess.” “I was not eavesdropping; however I did hear you both. I am pretty sure after you work through all the issues you have with each other it will be fine,” Emma kissed his head, “You are not an easy person to walk away from. You’re a lot like your daddy. Maddox, fight for her, but do it wisely.” “Thanks, Mom. I am going to hang out here until she threatens to call the cops,” Maddox grabbed his hair and closed his eyes. He stood up forced a smile, “I am going to get her some ice, did she take any of her medicine?” “No, and she did not eat either,” Emma smiled and walked to the door.
Maddox walked in and Harper quickly shoved a book under the covers. “You need to eat,” he said, and she sat up. “I am not hungry,” she looked away from him. “Okay, but I am sure the little one in your belly is. Probably why he was trying to kick the hell out of you,” Maddox handed her toast. “What’s on this?” “Nutella, the chocolate stuff you liked last night. I eat it with banana slices, you wanna try it?” “No… I” Harper stopped when the doorbell chimed she heard someone open the door. “You in the bedroom?” Blake yelled. “He has a key?” Harper nodded her head yes, “Yes we are, and we are very busy!” “Maddox be nice,” Harper jumped out of bed and walked out. Maddox grabbed the book, What to Expect. He smiled when he saw two book marks. One was on a chapter about mood swings and the other about sex while pregnant. He walked out in the living room, and she was sitting on the couch next to Blake. “Sweetness, you should know until we get control over chapter twelve, chapter sixteen is not going to happen.” He dropped the book on the coffee table and watched her face turn bright red. He kissed her head and looked at the bag full of pastries. “And my baby needs fruit, not just sugar. Right, Doc?” “She is fine, she enjoys something sweet in the morning,” Blake glared at him. “She has already had something sweet and she will every morning,” he winked at her and walked down the hall. Blake looked at her, “How are you?” “Fine, he is impossible,” Harper blushed and took a bite. She heard Maddox walking down the hall, “This is really good, thanks so much,” she kissed Blake on the cheek. Maddox stopped and looked at her for a moment and then looked away, “Your friend is here,” he emphasized friend, “I’ll shower at my place. See you for dinner.” “Yes WE will be there,” Harper gave him a snotty look. He walked back to her and whispered in her ear, “If I truly thought you could like this guy, I would not be leaving. Play whatever little game you want to sweetness I know you are mine.” He kissed her quickly on the lips, “Mine,” and walked out the door. “Sorry about that,” Harper looked at the floor. “You don’t have to deal with that, Harper. I can get him to leave,” Blake pulled her into a hug, “How are you feeling?” “Better now. I slept well last night.” “Let's go for a walk around the lake.” “Okay let me get my coat and shoes.
Harper and Blake walked in silence he held her hand tighter than before but said nothing. As they headed back towards the entry of the apartment building; he stopped and looked down at her. “You have been the closet friend I have ever had, Harper… I don’t want that to end.” “It won't.” “I really would like to believe that,” Blake’s hand started to shake and Harper held it tighter. “It won’t. I owe you so much.” “No Harper, you don't owe me anything. I don’t want it to be like that. I care about you and that baby growing in you. I respect the person I know you are. I’ll be here for as long as you will allow it. Right now I am scared as hell of losing you.” Harper looked at him and smiled, “I am not a fortune teller, Blake. I don’t know what tomorrow brings I certainly did not see this coming,” Harper laughed. “I knew it would at some point. I just did not expect it to be this soon. I thought we had time,” Blake stopped and laughed nervously. “We have time, Blake. We have not crossed any lines beyond friendship and …” “Because I have held back, Harper! I have held back so that I did not complicate this already confusing situation. I did not want to force my feelings on you. Now its a little time sensitive, so I need you to know that I am…” “Oh, please don’t,” Harper closed her eyes and whispered. “Okay I won't,” he hugged her, “I won't force your hand. I just wanted to let you know.” They walked silently towards the building, and a black stretch limo pulled up. She saw Maddox walk towards the car, and he looked towards her and quickly away. Emma did the same. The door opened, and London jumped out and into his arms. Harper giggled as she watched her kiss his face and he laughed. He swung her around onto his back and bent over to pick up Lexington. She saw Brody step out and pull Emma into a very intimate kiss. “Wow,” Harper gasped. “Yeah— too much PDA, huh?” “That’s how they are. Brody and Emma have such an amazing love story.” Harper smiled as she watched Henry help Caroline out of the car. And the whole family hugged. Harper saw her Mom and Dad getting out and Blake quickly dropped her hand. Harper didn’t even notice and started walking towards them with a huge smile on her face. “Come on,” she called to Blake from behind her. London saw Harper and jumped down off of Brody’s back and started running full speed towards her. Maddox ran after her and stood in front of Harper laughing with Lexington still in his arms. “Hey get out of my way,” London laughed loudly as he held her under one arm. “No way kiddo, are you not ditching me already.” “I see you every day, let me at her,” London kicked her feet and swung her arms laughing. “Alright but remember she is in a very delicate condition,” Maddox let her feet touch the ground, and he looked at Harper who looked at him and scowled, “Harper got hit by a car yesterday, so no tackling her, alright?” “Fine, I won’t.” London escaped and hugged her lightly, “I missed you!” Harper smiled, “I missed you too.” They hugged and laughed, and London looked up, “Who is this?” “Oh how rude of me! This is my friend, Blake. Blake, this is my favorite cousin, besides Lexi of course,” she winked at London, “London.” Blake smiled and squatted down, “Very nice to meet you London.” She looked at him for a few seconds, “It is isn’t it?” She grabbed Harper’s hand and dragged her behind her towards their family, “See you later, Drake.” “London, it’s Blake,” Harper laughed.
“Potato Potahto, tomato tomahto, let’s call the whole thing off,” London sang and continued walking. Harper looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Maddox biting back a smile, “She is truly wonderful isn’t she?” “Yes Maddox, she is,” Harper nodded her head and continued walking. Tessa laughed and hugged Harper, “Look at you.” She held Harper’s arm up high, “You’re not banged up too bad.” Maddox chuckled as he walked by, “Hello Collin.” “Maddox,” Collin shook his hand and walked to the back of the car and grabbed some bags from the trunk. “Hey Daddy, do I get a hello?” “Hello Harper,” he set the bags down and hugged her, “Brody says Emma has dinner coming?” “Yes, I am starving are you?” “I suppose. Let's take this party inside. Hey Blake,” Collin hugged him, “How are you?” Maddox looked at Harper and cocked his eyebrow. She looked confused and shrugged her shoulders. “Hey Mom can you help me wash my hair before dinner? Kind of hard to use this arm still,” Harper held up the sling. “Of course, let’s all head up,” Tessa smiled at London who had not left Harper’s side. “I would love to show you the ducks, London and Lexington. Dad there is a small store just inside do you mind buying some bread? The rest of you come with me, and we can see if we can get the Momma duck and her three baby’s attention.” “Sounds like fun,” Tessa hugged London, Lexington, and then Maddox, “What a good big brother. Alright let's go wash that hair.”
Maddox rang the doorbell and Tessa answered it, “Dinner is here, and it looks great.” “Come on in, we are almost ready.” Tessa wore a black dress her hair and makeup were perfect. “You look beautiful, I see where Harper gets it,” Maddox hugged Tessa and looked over at Collin and Blake sitting on the couch. Both dressed in pants and jackets, “The resemblance on Collin and Blake should not go unnoticed either.” Tessa giggled and stepped back, “Oh wow, I am sorry I did not mean…” “It’s okay Maddox, I agree. I won’t mention it,” Tessa whispered and turned around, “Dinner is ready.” Harper walked out of her room with sweatpants and a baggy hoody. Her hair was in a ponytail on top of her head, and she wore glasses. “Well Harper-- you look, comfortable,” Collin tried to smile. “She looks wonderful,” Maddox smiled broadly. “Do you need a minute to change?” Collin asked. “Why bother, dinner is ready. She is just going to stuff herself full of turkey, sweet potatoes, and all the fixings,” Maddox looked at her adoringly. “I actually am a little sore. I won’t be good company. I was thinking I should just take my medicine and…” “Oh nonsense,” Maddox walked quickly across the room and grabbed her hand, “Let’s go, London would be upset if you didn’t show.” He did not give her time to argue, he walked quickly to the door holding her hand firmly, “Hey Doc why not grab her meds?”
“I need shoes Maddox,” Harper stopped. Maddox laughed, “No you don’t.”
Maddox pulled out the chair next to London for Harper, “I can't believe your right next door London.” Harper looked up at Maddox, and he laughed. “I know, and we don’t have to leave until Monday,” London clapped. “We should do something fun. Is there anything fun to do around here?” Blake sat on the other side of Harper, “Lots of things aren’t there, Harper?” “Sure,” Harper smiled at him. “What do you like to do, Drake?” “Blake,” he corrected her and smiled. Maddox laughed as he sat across from London. Lexington climbed on his lap. “Lexi come sit with Momma,” Emma smiled. “She missed him,” London laughed. “She sees him every day,” Emma pouted and held her arms out to Lexi. Lexi shook her head no and hugged Maddox. “Your sisters adore you,” Tessa smiled at Maddox. “No more than I adore them,” Maddox kissed Lexi’s hand. “How do you see them every day when you live in London?” Collin asked. “I moved home,” Maddox took a spoon full of sweet potatoes and held them out for Lexington. “She doesn’t like those,” London laughed, “She will spit them at you.” “You wouldn’t do that to me now would you Lexington? Open your mouth,” he smiled and made a choo choo sound. Lexington laughed and ate them, “Delicious huh?” “Lisciou,” Lexington laughed and hugged Maddox. “I am her father and she won't eat them for me. Lexington, Princess, your breaking Daddy’s heart,” Brody pouted, and she laughed. “She doesn’t talk a lot does she?” Collin asked. “She has London to do that for her,” Maddox smiled and put another spoonful of sweet potatoes in her mouth. “Ha ha,” London scowled at Maddox, “Hey Lexi.” London stuck out her tongue and then smiled and nodded her head. Lexington stuck out her tongue and spit the entire content of sweet potatoes all over Maddox. Blake gasped. Harper held her napkin over her mouth and tried not to laugh. “Oh Lexington, you are in so much trouble,” Maddox tried to keep a straight face and failed miserably. She hugged him tightly around his neck, and he smeared his sweet potato-dirtied face all over hers. Tessa laughed and so did Emma and Brody. Collin looked as though he wanted to, but looked down instead. “I need bath, Maddox,” Lexington laughed. “Yeah, how about we eat first? And if you don’t spit anymore food at me, I’ll give you the very first piece of coconut cream pie,” Maddox wiped her face and then his, “Deal?” “Deal”
After dinner everyone sat around the table and made small talk. Collin and Blake discussed his position at the WHO as Brody and Henry listened attentively. London showed Harper how to play Candy Crush on her IPad. Caroline, Tessa, and Emma cleaned up as Lexington stood on a stool beside Maddox doing dishes. “Is this a holiday thing, Maddox?” Tessa nudged him with her hip as she brought more dishes to the sink. Emma laughed, “Maddox has been doing dishes forever. Even London will help when he is home.” “It’s relaxing,” Maddox smiled shyly as he held a handful of suds in his hand and put it on Lexi’s chin. He snapped a picture on his phone and showed her, “Lexiclaus.” Lexington put some soap on her hands and put it on his nose, “Maddox Rudolph.” “Put it together?” Maddox gave her an Eskimo kiss “And we have Madolph.” Lexington laughed and put more suds on his ears, “Mad elf.” “You're so excited for Christmas, huh Lexi?” she nodded her head yes enthusiastically, “What would you like for Christmas?” “Coco cream pie,” Lexington grinned. “Oh, you did not forget did you?” Maddox laughed and picked her up and took a towel and wiped off her suds beard. “We just ate, piggy,” London skipped into the room. Lexington yawned and raised her hands in the air and wrapped them around his neck and whispered, “Pleeeease.” Maddox laughed and whispered in her ear. “Down, please,” she smiled. “Very good,” Maddox set her down and she ran to the bathroom.
“Where did Maddox go?” London asked looking around. Harper held her finger over her mouth, “Shhh,” and pointed down the hall. “He is giving her pie isn’t he?” London whispered. Harper smiled and shrugged her shoulders, “Let’s go see.” Harper and London tiptoed down the hall and quietly opened the door to the bedroom. Maddox looked up surprised as he was feeding Lexington a bite of pie. “Busted,” London laughed. Maddox looked up at Harper, smiled, and looked away quickly. “It’s a holiday, London, we should keep this secret,” Harper smiled as she watched Maddox. “Only if he gets me a piece,” London scowled, and Maddox laughed. “You stay here and I will. Wish me luck?” Maddox stood up and handed London Lexington’s pie. “Good luck,” London smiled as he snuck out of the room. London laughed and looked at Harper, “He is very fun.” “Always?” “Well, before we moved to Liverpool and now since he moved back in with us,” London smiled.
“When did he move back in?” “Um, remember the night I talked to you on the phone and he answered?” “Yes.” “He got in an accident that night, and he has been there ever since. Sometimes he leaves for a day for work, but that’s it.” Maddox opened the door and had two bowls in his hands, “I was almost busted by the evil doers out there.” “Drake?” London laughed and Maddox started to. He looked at Harper, “No I don’t think he is evil, London, just under an enchanted spell.” He handed London and Harper a bowl, and saw Lexington starting to doze off, “Lexi love, you need a bath before you pass out.” “You give me one?” “Of course,” he picked her up and looked at London, “You better hurry up and finish that before you get busted.”
Maddox was reading Lexington a story when London pulled Harper in the room. “I have to go to bed,” she rolled her eyes. “But tomorrow you can stay with me okay?” Harper smiled. “I want to tonight,” London pouted. “I am really tired tonight London… I am sorry.” “London get your PJ’s on and climb up here. I’ll read to you.” “I am not tired,” London scowled. “I disagree, you are getting grumpy and how long did you play that game?” “A while.” “And how long ago?” “I don’t know.” “You need at least an hour away from that thing before bed or you get like this remember?” “You read too much.” Maddox laughed, “Wow that’s awful isn’t it?” London disappeared and Harper stood looking at Maddox. He looked up, “Did you want to read to her?” “You are very good with them.” “I love them.” “That’s not it though.” Maddox looked up at her and shook his head no, “I am a good person, Harper. I have fu...” he looked at Lexi who was now asleep, “messed up. I will be a good father.” Harper looked away and took a deep breath, “This was not planned.” “It doesn’t mean we should be upset about it or hide it or fight about it, Harper. When I forget about the fight you promised to put up, I think about a part of me, and a part of you all wrapped up in a beautiful little bundle. It will be loved, and safe, and protected fiercely. It is not a burden, Harper; it’s a gift to be treasured.” London walked in and looked at Harper and then at Maddox, “You made her cry already. Gosh you’re a bonehead.”
Harper laughed, “He did not make me cry.” “Oh so what happened did you poke yourself in the eye?” “London get your butt up here,” Maddox smiled, stood up, and pulled the covers down. London hopped in bed. Maddox walked over and hugged Harper, “Listen, we will figure this out. I am going to read until the evil one falls asleep. Caroline and Henry are here they can watch the girls while we all discuss this together. Now go say goodnight to Drake.” Harper stepped back, “Blake.” “Whatever,” Maddox rolled his eyes and smiled.
Maddox, Emma, and Brody walked into Harper’s apartment. Harper paced nervously back and forth in the kitchen. Maddox walked in and looked at her, “Relax, Harper.” “That’s easy for you to say.” “Not really, I see this going down one of two ways,” Maddox walked towards her, “the latter ends with my balls in a vise.” Harper looked up and smiled, “He won’t do that.” “See you can smile. Be brave you are not in this alone,” Harper closed her eyes and he pulled her towards him and hugged her, “I got you, Harper.” They walked out into the living room and sat next to each other, “We need to tell you all something.” No one said a word Harper looked nervous and Maddox laughed at her and she rolled her eyes. “Harper and I are going to have a baby,” Maddox smiled and held her hand. “Way to ease into it, Maddox,” Harper whispered. “She is due in twenty weeks,” Maddox pulled the sonogram picture out of his pocket and handed it to Tessa. Still no one spoke, “And it’s triplets.” Everyone looked up and gasped, “Just joking.” “This is not something to joke about,” Collin clenched his fists and his face turned red. “How long have you known?” Tessa asked and looked back at the picture. “A few months,” Harper whispered. “And you two both thought it was not something to share with us?” Tessa looked at her with hurt pouring from her eyes. Maddox waited for Harper to speak and when she didn’t he did, “She was waiting until she was ready.” Tessa looked around, “No one else has questions here?” “What should we ask Tessa? Our daughter is pregnant by a young man who has publically treated her like a groupie and who is in the news with different women and living with a woman who is never going be stable enough to be around our grandchild. He is a drug addict and a…” “Brody don’t,” Emma held his hand tightly and whispered. “Do not talk about my son like that,” Brody visible shook. “It’s the damn truth, Hines!” “Collin, enough,” Tessa scowled at him. “No it’s not enough! We will handle this,” Collin snapped. “My son has busted his ass to get healthy for a girl he is head up his ass in love with,” Brody stood
up. Maddox stood, “Don’t, just don’t.” “No damn it! He can sit there and judge you when his daughter didn’t tell you she was pregnant and had known for…” “How long have you known about this Brody?” Tessa looked angry and he did not respond, “Emma?” “I found out last night it was a…” “Did you tell Dad?” “Maddox, I tell your father everything. He only knew for a few hours longer than…” Tessa stood up and walked towards the door, “Mom, please.” “Harper, I’ll get this,” Maddox bent down and kissed her head and ran out the door. He put his foot in the elevator door to stop it and got in. “Maddox, I need time to process this.” “Me too,” he smiled wryly. They walked off the elevator and outside. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards a path, “I ran here this morning, it’s not lit well I’ll keep my mouth shut and walk behind you.” They walked around the lake in silence. She continued to walk and he followed. “Maddox?” “Yeah?” “Why didn’t she tell me?” “I have no idea. When I found out she as she was lying in a parking lot bleeding from the head with her elbow pointing in the wrong direction.” “Hyper-extended.” “Yep.” “But you told Emma right away?” “No, I grabbed her discharge papers and didn’t realize the sonogram picture had fallen. She picked it up. She had planned on telling you and Collin together. And I wanted Dad and Mom to know as well.” “Oh.” “Blake knew.” “He did?” “Yep, they have gotten very close.” Tessa stopped and looked at him, “How do you feel about that.” “I hate it,” Maddox kicked a stone. Tessa laughed, “How do you feel about being a father?” “If Harper didn’t hate me and ask me to walk away and leave her and the child alone because I am a piece of crap, I would honestly be ecstatic.” “She’s confused.” “I know. So am I.” “Are you angry at her for not telling you?” “I can’t be, leads me to dark places.” “Like?” “Drinking, smoking pot or kicking the shit out of Blake.” “It’s not his fault you know.” “No, I don’t know. He has gone to doctor appointments for my child. And he told me to leave several times. He is a douche bag.” Tessa giggled, “He is protecting her.” “Not his place.” “Okay I understand, but she chose him as a confidant over both of us.”
Maddox stopped and looked at Tessa, “Do you think I should walk away?” “I saw you with the girls tonight. I watched you help Harper through the big reveal tonight. I know you don’t want to, and I know down deep you can’t. I just worry about my daughter getting hurt. I worry about your drinking and drug issues.” “I am sober and love your daughter. I already love that baby. She kicked this morning for the first time and I felt it.” “She?” “Just a feeling,” Maddox laughed. “Can you stay sober?” “I know my triggers.” “Is Harper one?” “Disappointing Harper, hurting her, and even though she does not see it, being hurt by her are all dangerous triggers.” “Show her who you are, Maddox. Don’t push her. I happen to know she is a hot head,” Tessa laughed and pointed to herself, “Genetics.” Maddox laughed, “I fully intend on showing her. If she does not choose me, I fully intend on staying healthy for your grandchild.” “Grandma, ugh!” Tessa teased. “Yeah, wait till it sinks in to Dad, a Grandfather at thirty-five,” Maddox laughed. “Wait until London finds out. I would ask if she knew but I am sure she wouldn’t be able to hide that,” Tessa laughed. “Not in a million years. I actually think we should not tell her. She would drag Harper kicking and screaming to the altar,” Maddox laughed. “Do you want to marry my daughter?” Maddox looked down and smiled, “I want Harper to have everything she has ever dreamed of.” Tessa smiled, “I’m ready to head back in.” “Alright. Do you think Dad and Collin are both alive still?” “Emma is there.” “Thank God,” Maddox laughed, “Will you forgive her for not telling you sooner?” “She’s my daughter Maddox, I will forgive her.” “Good, she is under a lot of stress right now.” Tessa smiled at him, “You love her.” “Even when it hurts so bad it burns my soul.”
MERGED Book 3
DEDICATION To those who find hope when all hope seems lost. To those who find strength to move forward when others would retreat.
CHAPTER ONE Rockefeller Center
Maddox I slide the key card through the lock, aggravated that I was here in NYC for work and not upstate where I knew I should be; with her, the other half of my heart, with Harper, who was sitting beside her dying grandfather. Harrison Dunlap, her paternal grandfather, who she never knew existed until just a short time ago. She didn’t know him until she was kidnapped and beaten so badly that our son, growing inside of her, was killed. Her father Collin understood more than I will ever pretend to understand about myself, knew who I was. He was a good man who grew up in a horror that most people could never even want to begin to imagine. I reminded her of him, she told me that once. So did her mother Tessa. As the last few weeks of our life unfolded one secret at a time my respect for him grew deeper. He didn’t know the man who his daughter Harper was comforting. The man who lay dying in a hospital; he man who had one night with Collin’s mother and never knew of Collin either. A man who I had grown to know was not unlike my own father, Brody. Had he known about me, I would never have had the life I did. But it made me who I am; it made Collin Abraham who he was. Two men that loved a beautiful girl more than their own lives. Two men who would give theirs to protect hers and one already did. A young beautiful, kind, loving, strong willed angel on earth who is and always will be, my Sweetness, Harper Abraham. So I am here in NYC without her, and her without me. Advice given by her family’s bodyguard, Tomas. Unsolicited advice that she needed this. For me to let her feel like she is still her own person and that I am my own. What he failed to say was it would give her the sense that I knew after the hell she had gone through we needed to move forward, because nothing, and I mean nothing, good ever came out of living in the past. Tomas and I would someday soon be having a conversation about this. I knew he also was hurting and that he loved her. Regardless, he would have to learn a few things soon. I would always do what was best for her, always. What he didn’t understand is that she was mine. I owned her body, heart, mind, and soul. Just like she owned mine. She was mine always and forever She knew from the first time, she told me so. When I think back I’m sure I knew then too but I was so fucked up that I really didn’t get it; I didn’t get what love truly was, I didn’t get that people actually stayed when they came into your life or I didn’t realize that sex wasn’t dirty. Never in a million years did I think that when you’re so fucking busy fighting your past, the demons you allow to haunt you, you can never truly move forward and live, really live. I threw my bag on the sofa and walked to the balcony. It was so odd being here; I loved and hated this room. This was the first place Harper and I became one. On this balcony she dropped her robe and wrapped her beautiful naked body around me. Here is the place where she was willing to accept me, flaws and all—me! Offering her body, her love, her—all of her. I had several sexual experiences before that of course but I was only going through the motions. Getting sucked off and stroked backstage at a concert was nice? Yes nice. But staying away from Harper, keeping her safe from the harm I could bring her heart was hell. Blow jobs, alcohol and pot numbed the fire I felt for her. But it never went away, never. I stood silently with my eyes closed remembering that moment. The moment I now feel like I had waited for my entire life. Ready, willing, needing to touch and taste every part of her. I needed to be one with her, the only person I knew I could be with that intimately, that completely, Harper. I knew when that day finally came it would be pure elation, heaven on earth. I had never felt the need I felt for her. I never wanted to make anyone cum the way I wanted, no --needed her to. Not dirty, not recreational, not just fifteen minutes of excitement and then the short and sweet feel of release. I NEEDED to make her feel the ecstasy I felt when I thought of pleasing her; the high, the frenzy, the rapture, the stupor I imagined would overtake my entire being when our souls, souls that have burned for each other for so
long, finally come together as one. I’m glad I waited to share that with my sweetness, my love, the other half of my heart, the reason I was created by God. At times I was so angry with God. Questioned his existence, his love, everything that I had read about him was a joke at that time. No one being could possibly hate a child like I had been hated. I’d never given him a reason to hate me and neither had any of the others that where bought and sold by the pigs I lived in that hell with for fifteen years. I still didn’t understand completely the whole God thing but I believed now. Harper wouldn’t have it any other way and I wouldn’t either. If his plan for me was to burn in hell for another fifteen years knowing my reward at the end would be that very moment with Harper, I wouldn’t bat an eye, I would go willingly. I remember when I first learned there had been photos of that moment splashed all over the internet and the news. How upset she was and how I secretly thanked the universe because now the world knew she was mine. I had sung to her on stage, the very first song we had ever danced to. I had made love to her with my mouth, my hands, and my body, all of me. I knew she felt the same about me as I did her and that physically I had pleased her. I had the ring, the proposal memorized, the whole thing planned. Then the proverbial shit hit the fan. After months apart, she finally came for me and I couldn’t control myself. I regretted the aftermath of that moment immediately because she walked away again. Still, somehow I won her back. I held nothing from her. She knew my feelings about the time we were apart. I felt her hurt and she felt mine. She was such an enigma to me for so long. It took a long time for me to feel the love I have for Dad, Mom, London, and Lexie. Why such a thing as love was given so freely from them to me I didn’t understand. I completely understood that now and I would die for any one of them. Finally after years I was no longer trying to figure out what it was that Harper saw in me. Why she loved me when she didn’t have to. The moments that I still doubt God exists all I do is look at the angel who most certainly changed me, and all the doubt is erased. I walked back in to the suite and looked at my phone; she hadn’t returned my text so I worried --of course I worried. I loved her so damn much it was killing me inside being away from her. I knew she would call or text when she could. I knew that I had left her…FUCK! Why had I listened to Tomas? I needed to be with her, this was shit, fucking shit! I must have stared at the wall that I caged her against when I had learned that Jane was really Claire for a very long time. I held my hand above my heart because that memory, that moment that I let her go, hurt like hell still. I checked my phone again and still nothing. A few missed calls from unknown numbers but no messages, Harper knew to leave a message if she wasn’t calling from her phone, or one that had a recognizable number. I took a long hot shower hoping it would help me get relaxed or tired--something.
I lay on the bed in my towel trying to relax. I laughed to myself knowing it was impossible without her. I jumped when my phone started playing Wanted the acoustic version, my ring tone for Harper. “Harper.” I’m sure I sounded like a fucking wounded dog. I hadn’t wanted to; she didn’t need that right now. “Maddox.” She sounded no better than I did. She sighed and continued, “He’s not doing well.” “How are you?” “This just…God I don’t even know. Every time he seems to be taking his last breath I want him to
fight. I just got him; I’m not ready for this.” “I can come home.” “No, no Maddox. If we’re to move on we…Maddox, Mom’s waving me into the room.” “Don’t hang up; let me be there with you.” She was quiet and I heard her boots clicking against the tile floor as she went down the hall to Harrison’s room. I felt sick to my stomach knowing she must feel the same. I heard Tessa whisper to her. ‘We need to let him go, be strong for him. He’s in pain Harper’. I heard her brothers Matthew and CJ saying their goodbyes. “You can do this Harper.” I whispered not knowing if she could hear me but needing desperately to be there with her in some way. “I know Maddox.” “Good girl. I love you.” “I love you. I’ll call you back okay?” No, I wanted to say no. “I love you and I’m here, always.” “Good because after all this, all we’ve been through, I need you to show me that we can have normal Maddox. Well, our normal.” She kind of had a smile in her voice, a sad smile, but a smile none the less. “Call me back?” “Of course, talk to you in a bit.” And that was it, she hung up. I hated this! Hated all that she had been though, that we needed to move on, to grow from tragedy. I knew it was necessary but my God how much more could she take? How many days could she go with gloom hanging over her before she felt like nothing would ever be the same? Could things ever be the same? I grabbed my phone well aware of what time it was, and truly didn’t give a shit. I needed to do something for her. If I couldn’t be there I needed someone to be. Someone who could make her smile, laugh, forget about the hurt for five minutes. I dialed my phone and waited for the answer. “Hello,” a sleepy voice cracked. “Ava?” “What the hell, is this, is Harper…” “This is Maddox Hines.” “Am I dreaming?” “Ava, I think Harper could use a friend…” “Wait, hold on just a second hot stuff let me wake up. Tell me you didn’t fuck up again. If you did I swear to God I’ll…” “No I’m in New York City. She’s at Community General Hospital with her Grandfather…” “John?” “No Harrison, Collin’s father. He’s dying and I just thought maybe—this was probably a bad idea.” “Nope, well I don’t think it is, but you need to finish. What can I do?” “Make her laugh? Be her friend? Shit I don’t know. Do whatever it is you do that makes her smile in situations like this until I get back.” “You asking for a favor Maddox Hines?” “I suppose I am, yes.” She laughed, “I’ll go. Is he…” “Dying. And I feel like he’s holding on for her.”
“So you want me to go in there like the Grimm Reaper and…” “You truly have a way with words Ava,” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s a gift.” She responded flippantly. “Of course I’ll go. I was here first you know hottie McRockstar.” “I know and thank you.” “You owe me.” “What do I owe you?” “Your boy T’s number. Not now though, but someday.” “It’s a deal.” “Good, stay safe Maddox Hines.” “You as well. Thank you again.”
There was a knock at the door which startled me. I opened the door and Dad was standing there, alone. “Everything alright Dad?” “Nice to see you too son.” Dad laughed. “Sorry it’s just—come in.” I opened the door and he walked in, he looked behind him. “Thanks Surge.” “What are you doing here?” “Just came to hang out, see how you were, you know?” “Checking up on me?” “No, just didn’t want you to be alone.” He patted my back and set his bag on the table. “You tired?” “No, if you are you can take the bed.” “You know Maddox; we haven’t spent much time alone together since we moved to England after the prom incident.” “It’s fine Dad. By the way, where are Emma and the girls?” “Back upstate. Emma and I thought it was a good idea that I be here with you. You know male bonding,” he laughed and shrugged off his jacket. “It’s cold as hell outside.” “That’s too bad, I was thinking about going out for a walk.” “You still don’t sleep.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me with fatherly concern. My father Brody Hines is only fifteen years my senior. He never knew about me until about five years ago. What a mind fuck that was for him and I; he never knew he had a son and I couldn’t have even begun to dream that I had a father at all. And then mega rockstar Brody Hines storms into my life, damn. “I sleep with Harper.” He tried to hold back a grin and I laughed, “N I actually sleep when I’m with her.” “I knew what you were saying Maddox.” “Yeah Dad I know you do. But the shit ass grin?” “I was just remembering our very first conversation about sex…” “Very awkward.” He laughed, “A bit, but…” “Still very awkward Dad.” He laughed harder and I laughed too. “You still wanna walk?” “Yeah.”
“I’ll go too.” There was no arguing about it. Dad put his coat back on and stood waiting for me. “Everything alright?” “Yes, I just have an idea. Not a whim, something I have thought about doing for a while now. I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it.” He nodded. “Maddox, when you’ve made a decision I have come to the realization there isn’t much I can do to change your mind.” “Good, I’m kind of hungry are you?” “Always, let’s go to Soho. It’s been a long time since I’ve been there.” With Surge in tow we headed out into the brutal cold night. “Sure you wanna walk Dad?” “Yeah, whatever you want.” He smiled as he pulled his collar up around his neck. “Surge you cold?” Surge shook his head no and I laughed, “Let’s grab a cab.”
I must have checked my phone twenty times to see if she had called and I forced myself not to send a message. “She’s doing exactly what you are Maddox. She’s trying to get through a rough night just the same as you. When Emma and I brought dinner to Tessa and Harper I mentioned coming here and she all but pushed me out of the hospital.” “I sicced Ava on her.” Dad laughed, “That’ll keep her busy.” “And entertained.” We pulled up in front of a place called Brinkley Station. “Best fifteen dollar burger and beer in the city.” Dad reached through the window and paid the cab driver. “Come back in an hour.” He hopped out and clapped his hands together and blew in them as he waited for me and Surge to get out. He looked at me and lowered his eyes, “We can go somewhere else if you’d prefer.” “No Dad. It’s late; bars are really the only option. Besides I really don’t have an issue with alcohol or drugs. I had an issue with myself and I changed that. I actually may like a glass of wine or a beer now and again.” “Okay, I really think we should go somewhere else.” “Where McDonald’s?” I laughed and walked to the door and opened it. “Come on Dad.” I sat at the bar and he looked incredibly uncomfortable when he sat next to me. The bar keeper asked what we wanted and he ordered three sodas. I sat back and smiled; he looked at me out of the corner of his eye and caught me. “I just don’t think…” “I don’t need a drink. I just told you it isn’t a problem.” “I just don’t want it to become one again Maddox.” “I understand and respect that. However, if I choose to have one no one is going to stop me.” He looked at me like he did London when he was trying to figure out what to say and again I smiled. My phone vibrated and it was a message from Harper.
- Thanks for sending Ava. She came at a perfect time…HA - I’m glad but it doesn’t mean I would not be there if you asked. I promise you are always my priority. Oh and thanks for sending my father…MH - I love you Maddox Hines…HA - I love you more Harper Abraham…MH I looked up and Dad was looking at me again. “You really need to stop that. My God Dad I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me that I’m unaware of.” He smiled and shook his head back and forth. “No Maddox. Even having watched you go through everything you have I am just amazed at you, that’s all.” “I’m pretty amazing aren’t I?” He laughed, “You take after your father.” “I do. So remember that when you get freaked out about being at a bar with me. I used alcohol as a coping mechanism, I know this now.” “So what will stop you from using again?” “Harper. I used it to cope with losing her over and over again. I know I’m worthy of her now,” he started to interrupt. “And I know who I am as well.” “Good. I hope you know how much I love you and your sisters and Emma and…” “The whole world, I get it.” He smiled proudly at me. That feeling, the feeling that you have made someone proud, is something I enjoyed so much.
The cab pulled up and we got in, “One hundred eight West twenty eighth street please,” I told the cab driver. “Where are we headed now son?” The cabbie laughed, “Studio twenty eight?” “Yes, please.” When we pulled up Dad looked at me, “You sure about this?” “Of course I am.” I looked at the cab driver, “We should be done in two hours, if you’re on could you swing back by?” I saw Dad hand him a hundred. “Yes sir! I will see you then.”
I hadn’t slept for shit and woke from my twenty minute power nap annoyed. Dad was up and on the phone. As soon as he saw me he stopped pacing and then said his I love you’s to I’m assuming Emma, and the girls. “You can’t shower yet,” he pointed to me. “I know. I’ll just wash up and change.”
Standing inside the studio doors at Rockefeller center with my band mates Zach, T, Claire, and I was aggravated. I looked out over the crowd as I walked out of the studio and shuttered, it was cold as fuck outside. I didn’t want to be here, I needed to be somewhere else, I needed to be with Harper. She had messaged me ‘Be brilliant’ and then ‘Talk to you soon’. The crowd began chanting my name, Maddox, Maddox, Maddox; I looked up and took the microphone off the stand. I sang Stained, my go to song of course and thought of Harper. I saw some sort of commotion out of the corner of my eye and looked deeper into the crowd. A girl with dark hair had arms flying in the air, head bobbing and then I saw her draw back an arm. I motioned for security and they were immediately in route. There was something familiar about the girl and upon further inspection of the crowd I was pretty fucking sure her entourage looked even more familiar. I held up my hand stopping the band and bound off the stage towards the crowd. Dad grabbed at me and I pulled away. I jumped over the crowd control gates and dove into the crowd. I grabbed Harper, who was holding her eye and then the security guard who was holding Ava around the waist as she swung furiously at the crowd of completely under clothed, young women who stood glowering at her and giving her disgusted looks further egging her on. I saw Matthew and CJ with their arms protectively surrounding a blonde who I assumed was Tessa. Zach grabbed Tessa and pulled her through the gates towards the stage with CJ and Matthew close behind. I looked to my side and T walked in front of the security guard and said something to Ava and she laughed and hugged him. The security guard then set her on her feet and held the crowd back as they walked towards the stage. I held Harper’s head against my chest and stood frozen. I held her, smelled her, and kissed her head. I knew she needed this or she wouldn’t have come. Without her even telling me, I knew Harrison had passed. The crowd started pushing against us; yelling my name, grabbing my clothing, but I didn’t give a fuck. That’s what she did to me. No matter what was going on around me if she was in my arms nothing else mattered. “Come on Maddox,” I looked up at Dad. He was being bombarded as well. I picked Harper up and Dad stood in front of me as we pushed through the crowd. “Fuck that T; those bitches need to learn their place. You fuck with the farm girl and you get the machinery fucking Barbie wanna be. Stupid bitches, who the fuck…” “Ava, I’m mic’ed!” T laughed. “Good! Do you hear that trashy whores?! You want some more of me…” Dad grabbed her, “Let’s get you inside killer.” We all walked back into the studio and were hurried into a larger room and the door was closed behind us. “Sweetness, let me see you,” I pulled away and looked down at Harper. Her eye was already turning black and blue and her face was tear stained. Tessa was beside her in a flash. “They hurt you.” “Not as bad as I got that bitch,” Ava snapped and held up her hand, “Trifling bitch gonna be
wondering where her fucking extensions went!” Harper started laughing and so did Tessa and soon everyone else in the room was laughing too. Matt walked in and looked around in shock. He looked at Dad and closed his eyes, “They all with you Hines?” “Would you have assumed otherwise?” “Does the farm girl have a name?” Tessa laughed and the rest of the room erupted in laughter again. “Can I ask what the hell you want me to do?” He asked my father. “I can do the interview,” I interjected. “You sure?” “You know the rules?” I asked him. “I’m not going to pretend to know anything when it comes to you all.” The interview was pushed back so that we could discuss how we should proceed. Dogs that did tricks took my place and Matt commented that they would be easier to interview than me or my father.
CHAPTER TWO Athenee
Harper I stood watching out the glass doors as Brody, Surge, Ava, and my family loaded into the sleek limo outside the studio. As one limo sped away, another took its place. “This is ours,” he whispered as he held me tightly against him. Maddox enclosed me in his arms as we were escorted out of the studio past the slew of fans screaming his name. It wasn’t easy keeping up with his long strides but I knew if I didn’t he would carry me as if I were nothing until I was safely in the car. I had always been raised to be confident and strong; I was raised to know how to take in my surroundings and keep myself safe from danger. My father taught me how to be a soldier from the time I was little. I never feared anything—until now. Maddox pushed me gently into the car and followed behind me. As soon as he sat he pulled me into his lap and began kissing my eye. Softly and gently his lips caressed the spot that was elbowed by a girl who said horrible hateful things about me. Then when Ava, little Ava, went off on her she pretended to be shoved and her elbow connected with my eye. The eye that was now receiving tender care from the man who loved me, the man she had said that I was not worthy of. I sat astride him; his hands running deftly up and down my spine as he cared for me like a protective lion would care for his cub. I sat taking excessive pleasure in the softness of his lips. When I felt his tongue slowly caress my eyelid I let out a small moan. And he kissed me tenderly a soft groan hit my cheek, “Sweetness I’m trying to take care of you. Please …” I sat up and linked my fingers behind his neck as I ran my thumbs up into his soft silky hair, “Please what?” “Let me,” he smiled and looked down at my lips. “I won’t ever stop you.” “Harper, tell me how you are.” I looked up and rolled my eyes, “I’m alright, better now.” “Your grandfather, I’m very sorry.” “I let him go,” I whispered and leaned forward to kiss him. He gave me a quick peck and sat back, his hands holding my hips, “Your eye, what happened?” “Please just kiss me,” I didn’t want to talk about what that girl had said. “If that’s what you need right this moment that’s what I’ll give you,” he leaned forward and I leaned back. “I want more,” I wiggled my butt against him and he smiled. “Sweetness, we’re two blocks from the hotel and our families are waiting.” “It’s what I want.” I was sulking. “Tell me why right this second you want that?” “I want to be lost in you. Take me away for a while?” “We should wait so I have the proper amount of time Harper. I’ve missed you just as much.” I leaned forward and hugged him tightly, “But you want me still right?” “More than my next breath. Why would you even ask me that?” I saw the concern in his eyes and heard it in his voice. “I’m on your lap and nothing’s happening.” “Harper, you just got a black eye and you lost your grandfather. It wouldn’t be appropriate. I’m trying to be a gentleman.”
“Well there have been plenty of other times when it wasn’t necessarily appropriate but I still knew you wanted me.” “I’m trying to build myself into a better man for you Harper, trying to gain a little self-control.” “You are a better man, the best for me…” “And never anyone else.” He smiled at me and pulled me against him. “I like that you lose control with me. I don’t want that to stop.” “It never will. Talk to me Harper,” he held my face still in his hands. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to go back. I want us to be happy and not have this gloom and doom constantly hanging over our heads like a storm cloud waiting for the next bolt of lightning to crash down on us or our families. I just want to move forward. I want to not have nightmares when I’m sleeping alone about being taken. I want…I want to turn back time and bring my Dad back, our child back. But then I think that if I turned it back too much I would have missed the exact moment when you and I finally…” Tears were soaking my face and I watched as his eyes moved quickly to each new one. He wiped them away and looked determined to catch each one, tear by tear and take it away from me. “We can’t choose Sweetness, we didn’t choose this. Neither of us. All we can do is get past it at whatever pace we need. I’m here for you and you are here for me…fucking Tomas! I’m not leaving you again. I don’t care if he thinks he knows you better than I do, I don’t care if…” “Wait, what does he have to do with it?” He was lost in concentration and thought. “Nothing, nothing, come here,” he wiped the remaining tears from my face and kissed each tear stained spot away before hugging me so tight it nearly crushed me. “It’s not nothing Maddox,” I nuzzled into his neck and held his hair in my hands. “I listened to him. Believed he knew you better and believed if I stayed and blew this whole thing off you’d be upset. When here,” he took my hand and held it against his rapidly beating heart, “I know you need me as badly.” “More, I need you more.” The car came to a stop and the door flung open. “Dismount girl, lets go.” I laughed when I heard her voice and looked up at Maddox who was rolling his eyes. “Thanks for calling her.” “Yeah okay,” he smirked, “Let’s go.” “Maddox, take everyone up to the suite. I’ll be up shortly,” Maddox nodded to his Dad and walked to the elevator.
“Is this the place?” Ava whispered to me as we walked into the suite. Maddox looked at me and I felt my face start to heat up. He laughed and kissed my head as he shut the door behind Zack. The room was even more magnificent than I remembered. It was a mix of European contemporary and traditional fixtures; the floor was wooden and the walls held black and white photos of many beautiful New York City architectural wonders. I hadn’t noticed them before, I wonder why. Everyone sat around the dining table and sofas, all of which looked new to me as well. There were eight people in the room looking around the same way I was. I looked over and Maddox was talking to
Surge or rather at him as he nodded no doubt taking instruction. “Damn Harper check out this bathroom,” Ava peaked her head out of the door and I smiled at her. “Oh you already have haven’t you?” Ava laughed and I looked towards Mom who was smirking down at the ground. I shot Ava a look and she giggled as she walked back in. I looked into the bedroom where Maddox and I had first made love. I felt like if anyone were to look at me right this moment they would be able to see my thoughts. I stepped back quickly hoping to avoid that and right into a wall of lean muscle and warmth. I looked up as Maddox grabbed my hips stopping me from falling. “You okay?” “Yeah,” I cleared my throat as he looked at me curiously. “You tired?” I shook my head no and stepped around him. Brody walked in the suite and clapped his hands and everyone looked at him. I admired how he commanded attention. “I love your father,” I smiled as I looked at him. “Anything I need to be concerned with?” I looked at Maddox and laughed, “No Maddox.” He looked at me suspiciously and I laughed again. “Harper, I have an ice pack for your eye,” Brody walked towards me and Maddox snatched it out of his hand. “Thanks Dad, I got it.” Ava was peeking out of the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy white robe, she winked at me and pointed at the bedroom and screamed. “A mouse, under the bed, oh my good lord, Brody, Maddox, get it.” Brody and Maddox ran in and looked under the bed, everyone was watching as they flipped the mattress and pillows frantically looking for the ‘mouse’. I looked at Ava and now she was covering her mouth trying not to laugh. They put the mattress back in place. She handed me her phone, “Just one photo please.” She flopped on the bed as each one of them, one on each side of the bed, placed a pillow against the head board. She raised her hands up and bit her lip and looked up giving me a sultry look. I, of course, snapped the picture and she laughed and sat up and stretched, “Thanks boys! You were better than I imagined.” My mother’s laughter erupted from behind me and she walked in, “You are absolutely adorable Ava Links. You remind me of …” “Dad?” she smiled. “No, actually Ben,” Mom sat next to her. “Kendal’s husband?” Ava asked. Brody let out a frustrated grumble and Ava looked up at him, “Oh lighten up rockstar we’re on a mini vaca.” “A vacation?” Brody laughed. “Hell yes, we’ve been at a concert, a mosh pit, and now in a hotel room with two very hot legends. Thanks for that, now I can cross it off my bucket list.” T appeared in the room as I sat next to Ava, “Could’ve done it up right Ava Links.” “Not everything on my list is crossed off little drummer boy, a little rump-a-bum-bum is still on that list.”
“Oh the Goddess Ava has returned more beautiful than ever.” “Alright I hate to be the voice of reason interrupting this fantasy here, but we have a lot to discuss. A lot went down this morning,” Brody pointed out. “Let’s all sit and have a chat.” Ava patted the spot behind her, “Have a seat here Brody.” “You’re something else Ava. I’m a very happily married man and I am sure my wife wouldn’t appreciate me feeding into your…” “Awe man you had to go and ruin it,” Ava groaned dramatically and stood up and stomped to the table in the expansive dining area. The room emptied and Maddox looked at me and appeared a touch irritated. I smiled and he smiled back thoughtfully. “You called her,” I whispered as I stood up. “I did, didn’t I?” He took my hand and kissed it, “You sure about staying here a few days?” The concern in his eyes was fervent and I nodded, “It’ll do us all some good to be away from home for a few days.” The way he looked at me, the way he had looked at me for a few months now, continued to take me by surprise. I don’t know why. He loved me, adored me, the same feelings I had for him. Feelings I didn’t feel I needed to bury anymore. Feelings that I no longer questioned. “Let’s go see what Dad has to say shall we?” He smiled and sat in the only available chair left at the table and pulled me down on his lap. He grabbed the ice pack he had set on the table when Ava cried ‘mouse’ and held it against my eye. “All better now?” he whispered before kissing my head. “Much,” I leaned back into him. “What exactly happened today?” Brody asked looking between Ava, Mom, and me. “I’ll tell you what happened. Those bitches made some,” by the grace of God Ava stopped and looked at me. Her eyes turned sad and she looked at the floor. “They said some very not nice things about Harper. I told them to shut the…I told them to shut up. They realized then who she was and apparently thought it alright to look at her like she was shit. I told them off, one pushed me, and so I pushed her back. Bimbo number two elbowed Harper. Tessa and the brothers pushed to the front of the crowd and then Maddox stopped singing. They should be beat down like the bitches they are for saying what they did to her.” “Harper what did they say?” Mom asked. “Just stuff they had probably heard on the news. I don’t want to talk about it.” “I’m sorry you had to deal with all that Harper, I truly am. However the studio called and apparently the police have asked for the footage. Ava you appeared to be the antagonist in it so we need to make sure we can show otherwise. They have your names, all of you. I prefer to handle this without lawyers and police so anything we can tell them proving otherwise would be beneficial.” “Are you fucking kidding me Dad?” “No son, I wish I was.” A low grumble escaped Maddox’s mouth and I looked at him, “It’ll be alright.” He took a few breaths as he stared intently into my eyes, “What did they say to you Harper?” “It really doesn’t matter Maddox.” “It does.” “Look, I’m sure everyone is tired. We had a late night and you all flew in very early. I have a suite down the hall and another across from this one. Let’s all rest up for a few hours and meet for lunch. Emma and the girls are flying in with Clive; Maddox, they should be here in two hours. Sound good everyone?” I looked up into Maddox’s intense stare knowing he wouldn’t let it go and then away.
“Sounds perfect,” I smiled at Brody. “Good, Tessa, you and the boys and Ava can take the one across the hall. Emma, the girls, and I will be next door.” “Where will you be T?” Ava giggled and twirled her long dark hair in her fingers flirtatiously. “I’m only one floor down with Claire and Zach. Anything you need you just let me know,” T winked and left the room. Once everyone had left I took my bag into the bedroom. Maddox was pacing in the dining room. He followed me in, looked at me and then the door. “You’ll tell me won’t you Harper? I don’t like not knowing.” “Sure will, just let me get things put away.” “Hold up,” he grabbed my hand and walked towards the wall and caged me like he had a long time ago. “I love this room Harper, all except what happened right here. We need to change this memory, now.” I closed my eyes as he pushed me gently against the wall. I opened them when I no longer felt him touching me. Now, his hands were now on the wall capturing me. “Do you remember me telling you I didn’t know how to let go?” “I do.” “I never did and I never will. Harper you are the other half of my soul.” “I feel the same, you know that right?” “Of course.” He leaned in to kiss me and my mouth fell immediately open needing his touch. My body went into a frenzy as soon as his lips touched mine. It was as if every cell that makes me who I am comes to life when his tongue touches it. That connection, that intimacy, the hunger for Maddox, my beautiful Maddox, was all I needed to truly be brought to life. He wrapped his arms around me and his hands moved down my back, under my pants and panties, skin on skin. He cupped my butt and his long fingers lightly traced its natural divide. He didn’t ask permission to touch me, he didn’t need it. A body that was once mine was now shared with him. He owned every part of me, just as I owned him. His mouth left mine and traveled slowly, sensually down my neck, inch by inch he awakened my senses. One hand left my ass and cupped my breast gently. He kneaded me as his thumb skimmed over my pebbled nipple. “I need you naked,” his breathy whisper hit my neck and my arms rose instinctively. With one hand still stroking my butt as he squatted down and pulled my shirt up exposing my midriff. His tongue dipped into my belly button and took my breath away. Heat spread down my belly further warming my moistening subordinate lips. “Maddox,” I moaned. “Hmmm,” his nose ran across my pelvic bone as my pants started slowly coming down. Not long ago it had made me uncomfortable, almost feeling ashamed when he knelt before me as if he was worshipping my body. I didn’t understand yet that hunger, the need, the revering that overtook him. I thought it was my body and not me. It was now natural, expected, and as much my need to hear his appreciative moans, his indigent inhales of breath and his hungry growls as he tasted my skin. It was moments like this that I felt there were only two people on the planet, time like this brought out the animalistic nature brought out in me by Maddox, the man I loved, and the man that loved me. The man I had watched desperately for years struggle. Praying that one day he would become the man I knew he was destined to be from the first time I saw his beauty, his torment, the heart that had just only begun to beat. He was born again in front of me, the man stolen and taken in ways that made me feel as if my heart would burst and fall to the ground in a pile of ashes. From those ashes rose my friend, my lover, my soul mate,
and the man I knew undoubtedly was created by God for me. “Sweetness?” I looked down as he was lifting my foot, “Please, I need you.” “You can have all of me,” I lifted my foot and his jaw clenched. I quickly removed my shirt as he kissed his way up from my toes to my inner thigh. I looked down fumbling with my bra. I couldn’t get it off fast enough. He licked his lips and then leaned forward and blew a cold burst of air against my bare, hot, wet skin. My knees buckled as I was overcome by sensation. He grabbed my hips firmly, steadying me. “Your pussy is soaked Harper. Your desire is beading up on that beautiful fucking skin. I need to taste you,” his voice was thick, full of need and desire. He stood and ducked his head taking one of my breasts in his hand and the other in his mouth, leading me towards the bed. He pushed me gently on the edge of the bed and fell to his knees. He grabbed behind my knees and spread my legs wide as he looked me over. “Fuck Sweetness, look at you,” he looked up at me expectantly. “Maddox no…” “You don’t tell me no when it comes to this Harper. One hundred and ten percent trust and zero boundaries when it comes to our need for each other.” He took my hand in his and brought it between my legs, “Feel how wet you are?” “Yes,” I whimpered. He was barely letting our hands touch my body. Only his thumb was touching, rubbing right above my clit. I rocked my hips upward and he pulled our hands away. “Move back against the head board. Sit up, feet on the bed, and Sweetness,” he said as he stood and kicked his shoes off, “Spread as wide as you can because, I’m fucking starved for you.” It took me a minute to take my eyes off of him as his jeans dropped to the floor. I saw the head of him against his belly button, my knees clenched together as he pulled down his boxer briefs. God, I loved his size. I knew there was nothing in my past to compare it to, but it was so big. So thick and heavy that when it was in my mouth, no matter how hard I tried, and believe me I tried, to take it all for him, there was no way. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him, to please him, just like there was nothing stopping this storm of a man from controlling my body with just a word or a look. He moved with jungle cat prowess, up the bed towards me as I moved back quickly. He started to lay down, “Your shirt Maddox.” “Not yet,” he pulled my legs apart. “Yes, please, I need to see you as much as you need to see me.” He let out a deep breath and sat back on his heels, “Promise me you won’t stop me after I take this off?” “Of course I…” I gasped when I saw his side covered in bandages, “What happened to you?”
CHAPTER THREE Angels At The Met
Maddox “I almost forgot…” She sat forward and touched my face, “Maddox just tell me alright? I won’t…” I reached up and closed her lips with my fingers. I knew what she was thinking. She thought I had cut myself. Something I had done in the past to stop the emotional pain. “I got a tattoo Harper,” she looked stunned like a deer in headlights. “What? Why? When?” I couldn’t help but smile. But I was nervous about what she would think. I didn’t answer. I pulled the tape off and she leaned in closer to look. I watched her face change from concern to wonder. She glanced up at me and then bent her head and kissed my rib. “For you,” I said cupping her chin and I bent and kissed her. “It’s beautiful Maddox. It really is.” I lay down on my back and raised my arm so she could get the whole picture. “See the harp?” I pointed and she smiled and nodded, “Guess what that represents?” She laughed, “Me?” “Of course it’s you. And in the floating notes is you, look closely it spells out—what?” She looked closer and then smiled, “Sweetness.” “Yes, now you’re always with me.” “The angel,” she whispered. She pointed to the decretive etching on the harp’s sound box. “Our son,” I leaned down to kiss her and she sat back and looked at me. “You saw him?” her broken voice crushed me, “I thought you didn’t.” “Harper I…” “We don’t keep things from each other remember Maddox.” She moved so quick I didn’t have time to grab her. She grabbed her clothes and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I felt anger rising inside my chest. I was angry, but not at her, at myself. I knocked on the door, “Sweetness please open the door.” “I need a minute Maddox.” “I’m coming in.” “It’s locked!” “I’ll come in regardless.” I was ready to bust down the door when she opened it. I went to reach for her and she held up her hand. “You’ve given yourself time to process this, now give me time Maddox.” She was hurt and angry and I was as well, “No, you’ll hear me out Harper.” “You don’t get to…” I picked her up and carried her to the bed and sat her down. She was crying, I fucking hated seeing tears and I hated that right now I’m the one who caused them. “I know you are angry at me Harper but you need to understand a few things. First, every part of me wants to kiss those fucking tears away, but I know you’ll fight me. Second, I will not regret the choice I made to not tell you.” She looked up at me and all signs of hurt were replaced by anger. “That day you lost your father, you lost your child; you lost your innocence…”
“My innocence?! What the hell is that supposed to mean!?” she wiped her tears furiously—my tears to remove from her face. “If you get angry Harper so be it, but I’ll answer your questions. Your life, your entire life you knew you were safe. You had your parents, your family; you had never truly been put in a situation that would put you in danger. I never wanted you to be. I nearly killed myself trying to stay away from you because I didn’t want my existence to taint you in any way Harper, that’s how much I love you. I know you’re not a spoiled little princess; I know who you are and I love you so fucking much. What happened to you robbed you of something so precious. So when I say innocence I mean that exactly. They took that faith in humanity, that security, be it false or otherwise, they took it from you. Your child, our child was taken from you and you couldn’t do a damn thing about it. That’s the innocence I’m talking about. We have to move forward from all this Harper, that’s what we both want and we fucking deserve to be able to!” “They said you deserved better than me. That I was ugly, that I was nothing. They basically said it was a blessing that our baby died, so you wouldn’t have to be stuck with someone like me.” She was sobbing now and I was dying. “Who said that to you Sweetness? “Because whoever it was I was going to kill. “Those girls today, the ones that Ava…” I stood and walked towards the door, “No! You don’t get to run away right now.” “I’m not running Harper. I’m going to go find those bitches and rip their mother fucking tongues out so they can’t spew venom anymore.” I stopped and started pulling my boxers on. “You can’t. You’ll be arrested.” “The fuck I would, I’d be doing a service to humanity!” I heard her sigh and looked up. She looked even more exhausted than she had earlier. “Don’t be mad at me Harper, I was only trying to spare your feelings, not lie.” “Don’t go rip anyone’s tongues off and I’ll consider it.” She laid back and pulled the blankets up around her. I sat next to her and she moved over giving me room to lie next to her. “I’m sorry Sweetness. I never want to see you hurt.” “Maddox, you can’t rip anyone’s tongue out,” she yawned. “I could,” I slid in next to her and pulled her against me. “But you won’t.” “I’ll try my best not to.” “You wouldn’t be able to sleep in jail,” she rolled over and kissed my chest and all was well with the world again. “I have you tattooed on me now so you’re always with me. I may be able to sleep now.” “I wouldn’t be able to,” she pressed her head against me. “We can’t fight anymore.” “We’re going to argue once in a while.” “I don’t think we have to.” She was quiet and I was grateful that she seemed alright. I was about to fall asleep when she spoke. “Did you hold him?” “Harper can’t we just let this go, please you don’t need anymore…” “What did he look like?” “Little, very little.” She moved back and looked up at me, “Please Maddox, I need to know too.” “He wasn’t ready to be born Harper.”
“He wasn’t ready to die either.” We lay looking at each other silently for a moment. She closed her eyes and a tear escaped. “Maddox, please,” she breathed a plea. “He was about eight inches long and no more than a pound and a half, Harper. He had ten toes and ten tiny fingers.” More tears escaped and she wrapped her arms around my neck and held her forehead to mine. I reached between us and wiped away the tears. “They asked if I wanted a photo and I said no.” “They asked you that?” “Yeah.” “Did you hold him?” “We both did. You were asleep but I held him here against your neck and held your hands to him.” “I held him? I held our baby?” “You did.” “I wish you had a picture.” “No Harper you don’t.” “Was he scary looking?” That question crushed me because even though he looked like a baby he wasn’t pink, or breathing, or what I had imagined. “No, not scary, he was beautiful.” “Okay.” “Can you sleep?” “Can you hold me tighter?” “Yes, as tight as you need.”
When she woke I had already dressed and gotten ready. She sat up and stretched. “Did I sleep long?” “No, but we’re going to a late lunch with everyone.” “Okay let me get ready.” When she was ready she came out and I grabbed her and hugged her, “I love you.” “I love you.”
The cars pulled up on 5th avenue at the Met. Harper looked out the window, “Are we eating here?” “We are, is that alright?” “If everyone else is alright with it so am I,” she looked at her mother for acceptance. I must have looked at Tessa for too long because she looked at me. I wasn’t sure how she was holding it all together but she was so strong. Stronger than I could ever be had I lost the person I loved. She smiled at me as if she knew what I was thinking and looked down into her lap. And as if the God himself was running personal interference over the gloom that was now seeping into
the car, Ava spoke. “Dad brought me here when we were little for my birthday,” a devilish little grin took over her face, “I was confused as to why he’d bring me here Tessa.” Tessa smiled and looked up, “Why is that Ava?” “He may as well have taken me to a strip club; this place was full of pornographic pictures and statues. I’m talking life-size portraits of unclothed penis. Come on, lets go check it out!” Tessa laughed and so did Harper. I looked at Dad, Matthew, and CJ who tried to pretend it wasn’t a bit funny but I knew better. We went through security after our own G men walked ahead of us. I stayed back with Dad and allowed Ava to entertain Harper and Tessa. “She’s a prize isn’t she?” Dad patted my back. “She’s exactly what they need right now.” “You and Harper doing alright?” “Yeah,” I watched as they waked through the security check laughing. “You sure?” “I’m sure we will someday be able to breathe. I just don’t know how the hell Tessa keeps it together.” Dad looked over at me and smiled softly, “Her angels are here Maddox. She’s strong for the three of them and they’re strong for her.” I nodded in agreement. After spending at least half an hour looking at the Arms and Amour display we ate lunch in the café. It was nice being here, not a lot of people stopped and stared at us. Harper seemed to have relaxed and that was all I needed. We walked up the grand staircase and I pulled out my phone and looked at the information I had found on a famous painting. I had read about it in the library back in England, when I was still living in that hell and my only escape was through books. One picture always caught my attention. I wondered about it and what the artist, Peter Paul Rubens, was thinking while painting it. It was said to have been painted in the sixteen hundreds. The women depicted obviously adored the man and he was leaving her behind and an angel was holding his leg. When Harper was laying in that operating room in England as I held our son against her neck; place of comfort for me, I wished he could smell her, feel her warmth, and take it with him to heaven. I also knew that at that moment, I would be strong enough to walk away from her if only he could live to know the beautiful woman Harper was. That moment gave me a taste of the faith my Harper had in God. I may have been angry and wondered why the suffering, why the pain and hell on earth was so easily given to me, to a child, to all the children and people who suffer. Looking at her with our child I knew that God would never give his precious Harper to anyone who wouldn’t fully appreciate what it must have taken to create her. He made me for her and although I nearly lost her on several occasions, he always brought us back together. That moment; a moment that was one of the most heartbreaking times in my life, I believed in God, and I will thank him every day for Harper and trust that our little boy, our angel in heaven, is being taken care of and loved in heaven as much as I love his mother. Harper turned around and looked at me and smiled. I tried to hide the sadness from showing but just as I could tell her every emotion when I looked upon her face, she could do the same. She walked back to me and I grabbed her hand, “I need to show you something.” I pulled her into the room that was said to have held the painting that had haunted me for years. I looked around searching and she pulled me away from thought in another direction. I followed but still looked around searching. When she stopped I looked up. I almost stopped breathing when I realized she had brought us to that very painting, Venus and Adonis.
It was breathtaking. A much different experience than I had looking in library books. So lifelike, it was as if they could walk right out of the painting. “This is beautiful,” she whispered. “Venus and Adonis.” She leaned in to look at the plaque and I pulled her back, “Wait don’t read it just let me tell you a story first please.” “A story?” “Yes a story.” “Okay.” I pulled her back and sat down on the bench and she sat next to me. I held her hand and kissed it. “When I was still in England I was allowed to go to the library. Elizabeth insisted and my captors had no choice but to agree. I often spent time looking at this very picture in a book of famous paintings. I was drawn to it; I never did understand that child trying to hold back the man. In my experience men were not nice and I often found it odd. But for some reason I went back to this picture time and again. When you were holding our child, this photo popped into my mind at the very moment I desperately wanted our child to live, and praying God would take me instead. You know I believe that God existed but never cherished him as you do. I thought of him as an antagonist who only cared for a select few. I wondered how he could let all of those children suffer the way I had, and many worse. I know now that he made me the man I am for you. To love you, protect you, to be the man you deserve. I also know that you are my reward for a life of hell. When I thought of this picture in the hospital I thought of God and our angel saying ‘no you get her, you were made for her’. I thought of our angel getting to go directly to heaven because he did not deserve to suffer a world of hate and hurt. I let him go when all I wanted was to have him here with us because I know that God that made you and God that gave you to me was not an antagonist but one worthy of all the praise in the universe. Harper, this is what our son looked like to me. A beautiful little cherub with wings who wanted his Mommy and Daddy to love one another. A little cherub who is in heaven with your father who made the ultimate sacrifice for his angel on earth and the woman he loves.” I looked away from the photo at Harper and the rest who had gathered unbeknownst to me. Tessa wiped her eyes, “Don’t forget Maddox, Elizabeth is there as well. She now has a chance to be the mother she would have been to you if she knew how.” Tessa sat next to Harper and held her other hand, “We are a strong family.” She reached for CJ and Matthew and they both stood behind her. Each placed a hand on her shoulder. Dad sat next to me and Ava rested her chin atop Harper’s head. Tessa laughed, “We haven’t really had a chance to grieve have we? With Harrison and everything that has gone on, we haven’t allowed ourselves that time.” “You guys have about two days to get it out of your system,” Ava sniffled, “Collin would kick your asses if you didn’t move on with your lives. He didn’t raise a bunch of slackers damn it.” Tessa laughed and Ava bent over and kissed her cheek, “I love you Momma Tessa.” “I love you too Ava.”
We left the Met and returned to our hotel. Tessa and Harper insisted on ordering pizza and watching movies. When we walked into the room Emma and the girls were there. I smiled when I saw Harper and Tessa light up. “Geez what took you guys so long at that museum?” London grabbed Harper and hugged her tight, “Boring huh?”
“Compared to you being around, everything is,” Harper laughed. Lexi looked at me and grinned. I grinned back and she leaped from Dad’s arms into mine, “I missed you.” “Crazy isn’t it? It’s only been one full day since I’ve seen you and I miss you…more.” She must have had enough of my hugs because she was on to Harper next. God I loved those girls. Lexi was talking a hundred miles an hour to Harper, and London was sitting on Tessa’s lap, yes at fourteen she still thought she could. She was almost as tall as Emma already. “Hey Daddio,” London looked full of piss and vinegar at Dad. “Hey London,” he smiled. “Can you take me bra shopping at La Perla?” His face fell and London laughed, “We drove by it, nice bras and I have boobs you know.” He looked at Emma who was trying not to laugh and Dad raised his eyebrow giving her a challenging look. “How about I take your mother shopping and leave you with Maddox?” “You wanna buy mom bras?” London laughed. Emma glared at Body, “I sure do.” Tessa giggled and London looked between the three of them, “Eww GROSS!” “What’s gross?” Lexington asked raising her palms in the air. “Dad wants to…” Thankfully Tessa covered her mouth, “I think the two of you should take off, the girls can stay here with us.” “No that’s very nice of you but,” Dad looked at Ava skeptically. “Oh good god rockstar I can keep it under control!” Ava huffed, “Emma, you go have fun. We got this.” I watched Dad as he tried his damndest not to look excited. They really didn’t get a lot of time alone together lately. He looked at me and I tried not to smile. “Fine if you insist. Em shall we go …shopping?” The way he looked at her didn’t go unnoticed. “Oh god yes Emma say YES!” Emma laughed, “Okay Ava for you…” Ava laughed, “Well thank you.” I leaned over and whispered into Harper’s ear, “As soon as they have left the building you and I are going to go to their room. I need to be inside you.”
CHAPTER FOUR Time For Us
Harper I went into the bathroom to change into the pajamas Mom had brought from home. I laughed when I saw they were footies. Ava barged into the bathroom and looked me up and down. “You really gonna wear those?” “I am, Maddox loves footies,” I joked. Ava stripped down and threw on her silky shorts and top. “This is what you should be wearing, wanna switch?” She was looking in the mirror making seductive faces and I laughed, “No I love these things.” I zipped up and stood beside her and mimicked her facial expressions. She stepped back and smiled, “You’ve changed.” “I haven’t.” I grabbed my tooth brush and paste. “Yes, you have. It’s weird though, something stronger and something else completely vulnerable. I know you’ve been through hell and I wish I could change that for you.” “Thanks Ava, but I’ll be fine. I have all of you to keep me focused and strong right?” “Yeah you do,” she hugged me and whispered. “If I would have lost you Harper, I don’t know what I would have done.” “I’m here now and Ava, I want you to know that you make me smile. I don’t know what I would do without you either.” She stepped back and laughed, “If I wasn’t here, you wouldn’t be in those dreadful things. You’d be in that big old bed with your rockstar. Now let’s go tire them two girls out so you can get some action later.”
We walked out and I looked at Mom and laughed, “Thanks.” “No problem I know how much you’ve always loved those types of pajamas.” Maddox walked out of the bedroom pulling a t-shirt over his head and his jaw nearly dropped to the ground. I laughed and so did Mom. “Hot huh?” Ava took my hand and twirled me around. He didn’t say anything, he just forced a smile. “Hey Maddox, what do you have on your side?” Ava asked walking up to him. “I got a tattoo,” he looked around at everyone. “Do show us,” Ava grinned. “Yes, do,” Mom looked at him as she would have if one of my brothers had gotten one. He lifted up the side of his shirt, “It’s a …” “Harp, oh my God Harper you better be putting,” she covered her mouth and looked at my Mom. “Where are the girls?” “Getting changed.” Mom stood and walked over to Maddox. She bent and looked closer at it approvingly. “It’s actually very beautiful Maddox.” “Thank you Tessa,” he smiled and pulled his shirt back down. Ava’s phone rang and she looked at it and rolled her eyes, “It’s for you.” She handed me the phone. “Hello?” “Where are you?” It was her father and he sounded upset.
“Lucas?” “Yes Ava, but Dad works too.” “This is Harper, I apologize. I’ll get her.” “Hey Harper,” his voice was less irritated now and I smirked. “Hey Lucas,” I said back. “You all still here in the city?” “Yes.” “Good, Brody around?” “No he stepped out; I can give him a message.” “How about Tomas is he there?” “Yep, but I think he’s down the hall...” “Good. I’m gonna swing by, you’re at Athenee’s correct?” “Yes.” “Okay kiddo, I should arrive in a little less than an hour. Tell my daughter I can’t wait to see her will you?” His voice dripped of the same sarcasm hers did at times and it made me laugh, “Will do.” “Okay talk to you soon.” I hung up the phone and looked at Ava, “Your Dad said hello and he’s coming to see you.” “Here?” she gasped. “Yes. Hey Maddox, Lucas wants to talk to Tomas where did he go?” “Honey, I think he went down to our suite.” Tessa smiled. Maddox nearly threw Lexington off his lap, “Lets you and I go give him the message.” “Uh! Maddox, we were just gonna paint your nails,” London wagged her eyebrows and giggled. “Perfect timing then,” he grabbed my hand, “Let’s go.”
He walked across the hall and I knocked, CJ answered, “Hey, I was just coming over.” “Wonderful, make sure you put on your pajamas apparently it’s imperative,” Maddox rolled his eyes. CJ looked at me and laughed, “Very nice. Mom?” “Yeah, I bet you have some too.” “If I do, I could lend them to you Maddox,” CJ laughed. “No thanks, I’ll pass. Could you tell Tomas that Lucas Links phoned and is on his way here? He’d like to speak to him.” “Sure thing Maddox. Tomas, Surge, and Clive are all in here.” “Perfect, we’ll see you in a few.” Maddox turned and looked at me, “I need to get that thing from Dad’s room. We’ll be back in a few.” I didn’t have time to respond, he was dragging me behind him down the hall. He slid the key through the lock and pulled me into the dark room and shut the door behind him. “Those things need to go,” he looked me up and down. “I kind of like them,” I grinned. “Look, we don’t have a lot of time and I need you now.” He started to unzip me and I stepped back. “Please Sweetness,” he pleaded. “Not here! What if someone walks in?” “Fine then, bathroom.” He grabbed and lifted me, “Legs around my waist Harper.”
His left hand was cupping my ass and his right fidgeting with the zipper. “These fucking things are awful.” “So you’ve mentioned.” I felt him growing against me and I wiggled a bit, “I think you like them more than you’re willing to admit.” He smirked, “I like what’s underneath them.” He sat me on the counter and unzipped me. As soon as the zipper past my breasts his mouth was on them, “Mmm.” I should have told him not now, that we should wait, that people would be wondering where we were, but I couldn’t. My hands were in his hair as I pushed myself further into his embrace. He tugged at my now erect nipples as he continued unzipping me. “Sweetness you can’t wear shit like this anymore.” He pulled the zipper and I heard it snap. “Maddox!” “Sorry Sweetness. Ass up, we don’t have a lot of time,” he was lifting me as he nearly tore them off of my body. “You better be able to fix—Oh God,” he cupped his hand between my legs and slides his finger just inside of me. “How about I fix this first?” His lips covered mine as I pulled down his cotton pajama bottoms and held his heavy cock in my hands. He groaned into my mouth as I began to stroke him. I moved my hand up towards his tip and skimmed my thumb across him. He pulled his mouth away from mine and hissed before ducking down and nipping my tender swollen nipples, first the left and then the right. He lifted me, causing me to let go of him; to hold on to his neck. I leaned in to taste his skin; I loved the way he tasted. “I need in Sweetness.” His hands were now under me; his finger ran up and down my wet lips as he kneaded my ass roughly. “Yes,” I gasped as he pushed a finger inside of me. “We need to get you ready.” He slipped another in without warning. He reached down and grabbed himself as he rubbed his cock against me. He pulled away and I groaned in protest. He set me on my feet and quickly turned me around and fisted my hair in his hands. He pulled my head back and ran his tongue up my neck and then sucked; pulling my skin inside his mouth. “Bend over.” I did as he asked as he reached under my chin and held my head up so that I was looking at our reflection. “Stay right like that Harper, I want to see your face while I take you.” He let go and held my hips in his hands and squeezed hard, “You have a beautiful ass Harper.” He bent and reached around my waist cupping me again, teasing my throbbing clit. I looked at his face, the face of an angel, the beautiful man I would one day soon marry. He bit his lip as he rubbed himself against my opening. “You ready for me?” His finger pushed into me and I felt my knees buckle. “Yes! Please Maddox!” He pushed in and instantly my breath was gone. It always happened first the moment of contact, when he and I were connected this way. I was lost; I threw my head back and whimpered his name. He rolled his hips stretching me, preparing me for what was to come. His thumb caressed my clit and I felt the burn instantly and he pushed in a bit more. “Maddox, awe, Maddox.”
“That’s it; we’re taking it slow but only for a minute. Feel me sweetness, feel me filling you slowly?” “Oh God yes. More, oh Maddox I want…” He pushed in further and then stilled my hips. He moved in and out slowly, steadily as he bit his lip and looked down, “I wish you could see how fucking perfect we are. Feel it Sweetness? Feel how your body stretches for mine. How I only give what you can handle until my cock has pleased you enough so that your sweet little pussy begs for more?” “Yes,” I moaned, “Oh yes.” “Mmm, more Sweetness you’re ready for a little more.” He pushed inside me further and his hips thrust a little faster. “Oh God!” “That’s it Sweetness. I can’t control myself any more. You ready?” “Oh God please!” He slammed into me and my legs turned to mush. It was almost painful; it was too full. I could feel him so far inside me. I moved forward trying to alleviate the burn of pain mixed with pleasure. He held me still, “Stay Sweetness, you’re gonna fucking love this.” He hammered into me and rolled his hips, hitting that spot hidden deep inside. “Oh God yes, please don’t stop!” He growled and his pace quickened. “This what you need Sweetness?” “Yes, oh yes!” “This is what we both need. Nothing else, just you and I.” He was moving faster and I began to fall apart completely. Exploding from the inside out. He didn’t stop; there was no reprieve or rest as I felt my next orgasm rolling through me. “I feel you tightening around me again, strangling me. Come for me again Sweetness.” He leaned over me nipping and kissing my shoulders as he cupped my breasts and pulled me up. I looked at our reflections. His eyes blazing as he continued pounding into me; he was in deep concentration and his teeth where clenched tightly as he continued. Brought back to life by the deepened desire when I saw him like this. I arched back against him and began meeting him thrust for thrust. The sound of flesh hitting flesh filled the room and the sweet smell of sex was intoxicating. He reached down and took my hand and held it against my breast. I saw the heat intensify in his eyes and I knew what he was asking for. His hand left mine and traveled down my body. One stroke of his finger against my clit sent me out of control again. I began to buckle and his hand moved up to my collarbone and slowly up my neck. I was dying, cumming so hard for him it hurt. I screamed out and he relentlessly continued his pleasure inducing yet punishing thrusts until I felt him swell further. His head fell back and he yelled out my name as his massive erection twitched inside of me. Watching him fall apart was the most beautiful, erotic thing in the entire universe. This man loved me and I loved him madly. Even when he was empty he continued to sway his hips as he kissed my neck, my shoulders, and my back. He pushed me forward slightly. My hot skin took comfort in the cool hard granite I was now laying on. He rubbed my ass gently, “Every part of you is more beautiful than any piece of art we saw today Harper Ann. I am truly blessed to have you. Not a day will go by that I will not make sure you know this.” He leaned over and kissed his way down my back and then his tongue traced my lower spine as he slowly pulled out of me. I groaned in objection and he chuckled. I was about to stand and he held me down gently with one hand. I heard the water run in the sink beside me and a cool cloth wiped between my legs as he cleaned me. “Maddox…”
“No Harper let me.” I knew not to argue, as much as I knew how exquisite it felt to be cared for by my future husband. When he was done he pulled me up against his bare chest and again cupped my breasts. “I’ve decided bras are no longer necessary.” I smiled at his reflection, “Oh really?” “Really. I say we just walk around like this for—ever.” “I say that’s a good…” The door opened behind us and I heard Emma giggle. “Mom!” “Oh, oh good Lord.” The door shut quickly and I heard Brody laughing loudly. Maddox grabbed my pajamas and I grabbed his shirt. We quickly dressed each other. Maddox tried, and failed, to fix the zipper he accidentally broke on my footies. “Oh Sweetness look what you’ve done,” he smirked and I batted his hand away. I fussed with it a bit and peaked up at Maddox leaning against the counter, one foot across the other and his arms across his chest with a sarcastic smirk on his smug face. “Mom’s going to be mad at you.” “I’m sure she expected it,” he shrugged. “Well what am I supposed to do now?” I whispered loudly. “Never wear those blasted things again is the first,” he stood up and walked towards me kissing me on the nose. “I’m sure Emma has something.” He walked to the door, opened it and then turned back, “You are so beautiful.” I looked into the mirror. My hair showed no evidence supporting his words of adoration; the truth was I was a mess. My skin still flush and moist with perspiration brought on by being ravaged by Maddox. I tried to flatten my tousled hair with my hands and my attention was immediately caught by the ring that adorned my hand. It was beautiful, so beautiful, just like the man who gave it to me. The one that I should be upset with for ruining my footies. I smiled as I tried again to fix the zipper. I was pretty sure I would wear these every night just so he would rip them off me again. Maddox returned with a robe. “Here this should work.” “Gee thanks.” “Dad and Emma said Lucas called them and that he and Logan are on their way. Apparently there’s a problem. One of his business acquaintances contacted his attorney. The attorney’s daughter was one of the girls whose tongue needs to be pulled out.” “His attorney?” “Yes, they are considering pressing charges against Ava. We should head back. This night just got even longer.”
CHAPTER FIVE NYPD
Maddox When we walked out of the bathroom, Harper’s face immediately turned the most beautiful shade of coral. Emma smiled at us and Harper closed her eyes briefly and whispered, “Sorry.” “Don’t be,” Emma shook her head no. “So shall we all go talk to Tessa before Lucas arrives?” “I think that’s a good idea.” Emma began. “We’ll meet you there in a few minutes.” Dad’s eyes never left Emma as she looked up at him and her face matched the color of Harper’s. I nodded. “Let’s go Harper.” We walked into our suite and all eyes turned to meet us. “Took you long enough Maddox, geesh.” London rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. I briefly glanced at Tessa and she looked away quickly. Clearly she knew what we had been up to, but she didn’t mention a thing. “Did anyone order the pizzas? I’m starving.” I let go of Harper’s hand and grabbed Lexi and tickled her sides. “I bet you are.” Ava giggled under her breath. I looked up at her and then at Tessa who smirked. “Okay girls what shall we do?” “Movie!” Lexington clapped. “Which one Lexington?” “The One Direction Tour is on pay per view!” London clapped and Ava joined her. “Really London? That’s almost hurtful.” I tried to look sad. “I can’t crush on my favorite British boy singer.” She laughed and hopped on my lap. “You got a tattoo?” “I did.” “Good, that way they can’t tell me no when I want one.” London laughed. “Not until you know it’s something that will be with you always.” She looked at me curiously and then smiled and hugged me tight. “I can’t wait until you get married.” “I can’t either London.” “When?” “This summer.” “At the Cape?” She asked. “At the Cape.” The door opened and Emma and Dad walked in, Lucas and Logan Links followed behind them. “Hey Loggy.” Ava jumped up and gave her brother a hug. “You got yourself into trouble huh Ava?” “What are you talking about dork?” Ava laughed and pushed him. She hugged her father. “Did you miss me Daddy?” Lucas let out a grumble and hugged her tightly. “Sure did.” “Lexington and London, let’s get you into bed.” Emma smiled. “Mom! It’s like seven o’clock.” London grumbled. “Okay well, we’ve had a long day,” Emma gave her a look. “Come on Lexington, apparently being almost fourteen means absolutely nothing around here.” Logan chuckled and London glared at him. “What’re you laughing at?!” “London that’s enough,” Emma corrected her.
“What, Mom, he’s like…” “I’m eighteen,” Logan cocked an eyebrow at London. “That’s really old,” Lexington looked up at London and gasped. “Yeah ancient. Come on, Lexington, maybe Mom can read us some bedtime stories.” “Do you need your blanket London?” Emma held up London’s favorite blanket. London gasped, turned red, and looked over at Logan who was snickering. “Laugh it up dork,” she mumbled as she walked quickly past him out the door dragging Lexington behind her. I laughed when she was out and Harper looked at me and smirked, “What?” “Nothing,” she whispered. “No spill it.” “She likes him.” “She does not,” I laughed. I looked at Harper and she was trying to hide her amusement. “Harper that’s not funny, at all.” “Sorry but it kind of is.” “No, not at all.” I was starting to get annoyed. “She’s thirteen years old Harper.” “You were fifteen.” I looked at her for a long time and she finally looked away smirking. “She’s not like me.” “Who’s she like then?” Harper asked goading me on. “Well more like you and…” She laughed, “Then you better ready yourself. I wouldn’t have …” “We were different.” She grabbed my hand and rested her head on my shoulder. “Sorry, Maddox, I didn’t mean to get you all worked up.” “Oh I think that’s exactly what you’re trying to do. Just so you know, I’m gonna take it out on you later,” I looked down on her and pointed to the bedroom, “In there.” She leaned up and puckered her lips and of course I kissed her. “Promise?” she whispered against my lips. I pulled back and looked down at her tits, “Promise.” Emma had left with the girls and Lucas looked at Ava, “So you made the news.” She laughed, “I did?” “Yeah you did. What were you thinking Ava? Acting like a wild…” “She was sticking up for Harper,” I interrupted. “Personally I am fucking grateful for that.” Lucas looked at me and then Harper, “You have a black eye.” “Yeah, it wasn’t a good morning.” Harper smiled slightly. “I received a call from my attorney…” “Your attorney?!” Tessa gasped. “Yes apparently the girl that my daughter went after is Samuel Hammond…” “The Sam Hammond?” Ava laughed. “Ava, it’s not funny in this instance.” “Why are lawyers involved?” Tessa stood up and walked toward Lucas. “He wants to press charges against Ava,” Lucas looked at Ava. “Me?” she gasped as she pointed to herself. “That skank bitch was saying horrible things about Harper.” “You can’t hit people Ava, you know this.” Lucas’ tone reminded me of a warning, one he seemed to
have given before. “She elbowed Harper in the damn eye Daddy.” “Okay,” Lucas nodded. “We’ll figure it out but you can’t have a record either if you still intend on becoming a lawyer.” “Maybe you should become a boxer Ava,” Logan laughed. Tessa giggled and Lucas smirked and shook his head and looked up at her. “How did they find out who we were?” Ava asked. “I assume that weasel Sam looked into it and as soon as he found out it was my kid he probably just about burst.” “Why is that Lucas?” “He won a contract for a big job on Seventy Eighth Street. We were contracted to do another part of the project. I noticed that he was using cheaper materials, ones that wouldn’t hold up, to pocket more money. My crews would have been going in when his phase was completed. I talked to the general contractor and said no way would my crews’ safety be put in jeopardy because Sam was a fuck up. They looked into it, he lost his contract, we gained and the bastard has hated me since.” I noticed Tessa smile. “Okay so what do we do?” “I’ll handle it. You guys just enjoy your getaway. I am going to go to Sam in the morning to chat.” Lucas scowled. “I’ll go as well,” Dad piped up. “I can take care of it,” Lucas smiled. “No, I’ll go too,” Dad was adamant. “I think I’ll be fine Hines,” Lucas looked at him. “If this could cause issues for my future daughter-in-law I’d like to be there,” Dad stared him in the eyes. Lucas’s eyebrow cocked up, “I to am concerned about Harper. I’ll see to it that she is fine as well.” They said nothing more and their glacial stare was broken when there was a knock on the door. Tessa looked between Lucas and Dad and then went to answer the door. “Oh thank you, hold on just a moment.” She went to grab her wallet. “No Tessa, I have it.” I stood and walked toward the door and Lucas was already paying “How much do I owe you?” “Nothing, we’re the ones who crashed the party; the least we could do is buy dinner.” Lucas sat the pizzas on the table and looked over at Ava who smirked. I saw him scowl at her and she giggled. I looked at Harper and she smiled. “We’ll be fine.” “Yes, you will be.” “What topping do you want?” “You,” I bent down kissed her nose and wrapped my arms around her. “But first I should go get the girls and Emma.” “I can send a text,” she offered. “No, London was a slight bit sideways; I get to go play the hero.” I kissed her again as she laughed and then walked away. London was happy that I sprung her and even more excited that Lexington was tired and would rather stay snuggled up on the couch in Emma’s arms. We walked into the suite and I looked at Logan who was looking at London out of the corner of his eye. I quickly looked at her to see if she had noticed and she was scowling at him. Logan smirked and held up her soft yellow blanket lined in tattered ribbon. “Did you forget this kiddo?”
“Ha ha very funny dork,” she blushed. I looked at Harper who was sitting on her knees next to Ava on the floor by the coffee table. They both looked at one another and laughed. “Come on London, let’s get some pizza.” I gave Harper a scowl and she sucked in her lips trying not to smile. “So what brings you to the city Logan?” Dad asked. “NFC playoff game tomorrow. Dad thought we should stay overnight near the Meadowlands, apparently a nor’easter is coming in. We don’t want to miss it.” “Freezing in the cold sounds like a lot of fun, just to watch men beat on each other,” London snapped. “Dad used to play professional ball. We enjoy going to watch games.” “Logan here plays too. You ever see a game London?” “No Mr. Links,” London smiled politely. “It’s Lucas, London,” Lucas smiled. “If you’d like to go we have a box, it’s not cold in there. If Dad and my sisters can’t make it in with their families we’ll have the entire box to ourselves. You could all come, that’s thirteen extra seats.” “That’s thoughtful of you.” Dad sat back in his seat. “Logan, who are they playing?” Tessa asked. “Dallas,” Logan smiled. “My favorite team.” “They were mine once too,” Tessa smiled. I noticed Lucas laugh. “It was a long time ago, Tessa, but I was sure it was the Giants you loved.” “I hardly think so,” Tessa laughed. “Oh that’s right, you hated the Giants.” “Yes and still do. Even though I don’t watch that much football anymore.” “That settles it then, if they don’t make it you should all come. You remember Jose?” “Of course I do. He and Kendall dated right?” Lucas smiled at her, “Yeah I remember. Well he’s an assistant coach for the Giants. It’s his first season.” “No way!” I looked at Tessa and she was smiling. “Yeah, I bet he’d love to see you.” “Do you keep in touch?” “We exchange Christmas cards,” Lucas smiled and looked down. “Twenty one years now.” “Will Ashly be coming?” Tessa took a bite of her pizza. “Maybe,” Lucas looked over at Logan and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “Too bad you didn’t have an extra Cowboys jersey. You and Tessa could both be the cause of whatever fight I have to break up tomorrow.” “Don’t you worry Logan; if I go I’ll be sure they don’t mess with you.” Tessa winked at Logan and he laughed. I looked over at Harper; she was watching the interaction between the two of them intensely. CJ and Matthew were doing the same. Matthew looked up at me, “You still leaving the band?” “You’re what?” Ava gasped. “Yeah,” I nodded and then looked at Harper. “He shouldn’t, he loves music.” She got up and walked over and sat at my feet. She looked up at me and smiled. “He’s an amazing artist too.” I looked down into her big blue eyes and smiled. “We’ll figure it out.” “Why would you do that?” Logan asked. “Because he loves Harper.” London answered for me.
I looked at London. “Harper and I will decide what works best for us.” “Of course you will,” London beamed. There was a knock on the door and CJ got up to answer it but Tomas and Surge barged through the door. “NYPD is coming up in the elevator now,” Tomas growled. “They want to question Ava and Harper.” “Bullshit,” Dad jumped up and Lucas followed. “Just questions, they don’t have enough to hold them if an arrest…” “An arrest!” Harper grabbed my hand. “Maddox don’t, it’ll make things worse. Surge, go get Emma and stay with Lexi.” Tessa walked up to Dad and Lucas. “Don’t act like a couple of asses. Let them talk. Ava and Harper, just be honest, you’ll be fine.” I looked at Harper and my blood started to boil. “You are staying right beside me.” “Of course I am.” Emma walked into the suite followed by the police and looked between Dad and me giving us both pleading eyes. “Good evening, we’d like to speak to Ava Links and Harper Abraham.” “That’s us,” Ava smiled and waved them in. “Would you like some pizza officers?” “No thank you ma’am.” “Now do I look like a ma’am, isn’t it more like Miss?” “Ava,” Lucas growled. “Ladies, please step out in the hall with us,” one of the four officers nodded to the door. “No, they stay,” Lucas said calmly. “You Lucas Links?” “Yes I am.” “We were warned about your temper and about these two,” he pointed to me and Dad. “Ladies step outside in the hall please.” Dad stepped forward and I stood in front of Harper. “Maddox I’ll be fine.” My ears began to ring and I could feel the veins in my neck starting to pulse. “Emma please make him stay. Maddox,” she grabbed my face and kissed me on the cheek. “We did nothing wrong, it’ll be fine.” They walked out into the hall and I stood in the doorway watching them. “Step back into the room Hines.” One of the fuckers snapped at me. “No.” “Fine, ladies you’ll be coming downtown with us.” “What? You have got to be kidding me! I have a black eye and I’m getting arrested.” I started to walk out in the hall and Dad grabbed my shoulder. “Stay back Maddox.” “They aren’t taking her!” “We aren’t arresting you. We’re taking you back to the precinct to interview you. This appears to be a hostile environment.” “You’re fucking kidding me right! You four are armed for fuck sake,” Lucas laughed haughtily. “Tell me your three G men aren’t,” the oldest officer laughed. “Are you gonna cuff me?” Ava smiled and held her arms out. “Do we need to?” the youngest officer smiled. “Watch how you talk to my daughter, fuck stick!” “Lucas, shut up.” Tessa stood in front of him. “Officers this is unnecessary, can’t you all just go down in the lobby and chat?” “Sorry ma’am,” he tipped his hat.
“Hey Tessa, Ava, we’ll be right behind you,” Tessa’s voice quivered. “With an ass load of lawyers and a fucking lawsuit or at least media coverage talking about what pussies NYPD is!” “Hey Maddox, it’s alright,” Harper smiled trying to calm me. I could feel my body shake. “You’ve been through enough!” “She has me. Oh and by the way boys, unless your cuffs are pink and fuzzy I would prefer they not be put on me.” Ava smiled and took Harper’s hand. “Come on, we’re just going on an adventure.” “If anything happens to them I will …” Tessa stood in front of me. “Not another word or you’ll be joining them and not for questioning.” The elevator doors opened and I heard Ava. “Did you guys know I’m a law student?” “No ma’am.” “Well technically, I’m a third year student, concentrating on criminal law. So I know we are cooperating nicely with you and am sure you’ll treat us as such. Harper is …” The door shut on the elevator and we all scrambled to get dressed and head down to the police station. I looked at Lucas. “I want that fucker Sam’s address!” “Maddox, don’t worry. I think Ava…” “Fuck! She better control herself.” Lucas crouched down. “Give her some credit Lucas,” Tessa patted his head. “Come on let’s get a move on.” I looked at Tessa and she hugged me. “She’ll be fine.” Lucas looked at her and then at me. “They both will be. Hey Logan, you hang here.” “No Dad…” “Logan it wasn’t a question and for God’s sake don’t call your mother!” Lucas clenched his eyes and then looked at me. “We got this.” “I want his number.” “I have a better idea. Besides he’s probably padding the pockets of half the city officials. Trust me on this one; he’ll back down or I’ll fucking ruin him. Let’s get going.”
CHAPTER SIX 21st Street
Harper “Where are you taking us, Riker’s Island?” Ava laughed as she stood in front of the police car, “By the way if there’s piss or puke in here, we’ll be taking a cab.” I looked up as I got in the car. I half expected to see him standing behind the police officers but he wasn’t. I knew he shouldn’t be there, if he was he’d be in trouble. The officers took their time chatting while we sat in back of the car. Ava banged on the window, “If you’re just gonna stand around, let us out.” I saw one of them make a remark that the other three chuckled at, so did Ava. “Open the fucking door!” “Ava you’re egging them on. Apparently that’s what they’re after just let it be.” She sat back and was fidgeting, “Unreal. We are cooperating with this bullshit and they sit out there,” she smacked the window again, “DONUT BREAK’S over assholes!” I laughed partially because it was funny but the other part was I didn’t like being locked in a car, it made me nervous. Now one was leaning on the hood far too relaxed as he chatted it up while we sat in the back of the cold car. I started to shake and Ava looked over at me and noticed, “Get pissed it’ll keep you warm.” She grabbed my hand and pulled my head down to her shoulder. She looked at her watch, “It’s been seven minutes. Two more minutes and I’m seriously going to be filing a report against these assholes! Four more minutes and I’m gonna kick the damn window out.” I closed my eyes and all I could think about, all I could picture, was when I was locked in the back of that van. I shook more and Ava started beating on the window harder. She didn’t just stop at a couple raps; she beat the hell out of it. I looked towards the door and saw Brody, Lucas, Mom, and Maddox walking out of the hotel lobby. Maddox saw me and started storming towards the car. Brody tried to grab him and he moved away from him. He reached down to open the door and all four cops started yelling. Brody grabbed him and held him back. He looked angry; his eyes were wild, the same look I saw in him the night he had snapped the man’s neck back in London. I felt tears falling and I wiped them away trying to show him I was fine. My Mom was screaming at the police and Lucas was holding her back. Two officers stood to block the window and the other two finally, twelve minutes later, got into the car. “Fucking pigs, expect a lawsuit!” Ava screamed. “Ava, say no more!” I heard Lucas. “We were passing information, perfectly legal Miss Links.” “You had two people locked in the back of a filthy squad car that have done nothing! Sam have something to do with this? Are you two lowlifes being paid off to fuck with us?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” one said and they both laughed. “I’m sure, fucking dirty ass pigs,” Ava snapped. “Watch it little girl,” he warned. It took twenty minutes to arrive at the thirteenth precinct. Ava was fuming and had not stopped running her mouth. She recited several laws they had violated and told them exactly what she would do to make sure they got in trouble for their inability to perform their jobs. When they opened the door one of them grabbed Ava and she wrenched her arm away, “Watch it!” “Ava don’t, obviously they’re intentionally pushing buttons here. So think about why. They have
nothing to hold us on but if you push any harder they may give you a reason to want to act out. So just don’t,” I whispered and took her hand. We walked up the steps to the precinct and were immediately walked through the glass doors beside the desk. Ava looked at me and me at her--she was so angry and I was scared. None of this felt right. I saw a female officer and she looked at me curiously. She looked at the two uniformed officers. “What’s going on?” “Just interviewing a couple possible suspects.” “This is bullshit! We’re suspects in what? We did nothing wrong!” Ava yelled at them. “Ava, answer nothing, they’re nothing but two beat cops. We wait for our families and lawyers.” “Are they being charged?” Ava snapped. “Not yet, but ….” “But nothing! Harper was hit by some little bitch who….” “Ava stop, just stop we’ll be fine.” “These two need to be separated or we’ll never get the true story.” I looked at the female officer’s name badge, “Officer Buchanan, please.” I looked out the glass door and saw Maddox, Mom, Brody, and Lucas storm to the desk. Maddox saw me and walked towards the door. I shook my head no, hoping to stop him. He looked at me, anger and concern flooding his eyes. I saw Mom start to cry and Brody was still screaming at the officer at the desk. “They with you?” Buchanan asked me. “Yes, my Mom, her Dad, my fiancée…” “Maddox Hines is your fiancée?” “Yes ma’am.” The way she looked at me I could tell she knew of me, probably knew everything we had been through. “Let’s go, you in this room, you in that one.” “Smith, what are you charging them with?” “Assault.” He answered. “Fuck that! It was self-defense!” “Ava.” The female police officer looked at me and held my eyes. “I will see what I can do.” “You stay out of it!” Officer Smith snapped at her. She gave him a look and then looked back at me, “I’ll see what I can do.” She looked at Ava. “Calm down.” She quickly walked out the door and Maddox stormed up to her. I saw him start to yell and she held up her hand and stopped him. I don’t know what she was saying but he looked to calm down a little. I sat in an interrogation room alone for at least twenty minutes before the Officer Buchanan walked in. “I contacted a friend who works in the district attorney’s office. I advised your mother to call a lawyer. I’m technically off work now but I’m not going anywhere.” “Thank you. I’m sorry about…” “Don’t be sorry. You’ve been through a lot Harper. I am going to leave you so I can go try to calm your friend down a bit.” “She was protecting me. Sticking up for me. She isn’t a criminal.” “I understand but she is pretty mouthy.” “She’s a law student.” “Then she should know to keep her mouth shut.” She stood. “I’ll be back.”
“Thank you.” One of the officers came in with a detective and they took my statement. I asked if I could leave and they told me not yet. I looked up at the clock and it was midnight; I was sitting in a police station, in pajamas, and worried that Maddox wouldn’t be alright. Half an hour passed and a man walked in. “Hello, I’m Eli an attorney of the Hines family.” “Hi, I’m Harper.” “Alright, you okay?” Eli was a tall lean man with brown hair, green eyes and smartly dressed. I felt completely at ease with him. “I’ve been worse.” “I know and let me tell you how truly sorry I am about that.” “Thank you.” I explained to him what happened at the Today show and he genuinely looked concerned as he wrote down a few things on his yellow tablet. When he was finished, he looked up at me. “Harper has anyone offered you a drink?” “No sir and I probably would have declined based on the fact that this all seems very disconcerting to me.” He smiled. “You’re a smart young lady. I’m going to go let your mother and the highly agitated young man in the waiting area know you’re alright. I will grab you a drink and be back. You’ll be released soon. Brody didn’t just call me.” He laughed as he left the room. It was one o’clock when I finally laid my head on the table. I must have fallen sleep because when I heard Maddox’s voice, I nearly fell out of the chair. I immediately looked around the room and saw Ava standing next to Eli. “Let’s get you back to the hotel.” Maddox took my hand and pulled me up to him and hugged me tightly. “There is a bit of press out front.” Maddox warned in a whisper. “Normally we would avoid it but Dad and Lucas think it best we put on a bit of a show.” “I’m in pajamas.” I started to panic. “Which is perfect. Let’s go ladies.” Maddox tucked me in under his arm and Lucas did the same to Ava. Snow was coming down in buckets. Mom and Brody walked out ahead of us. Maddox wasn’t kidding, there was a bit of press. At least thirty reporters with news crews shouted questions. I heard an unfamiliar voice behind me and turned to look, “Lila.” Maddox whispered as he shuffled me into the car. “Dad’s publicist.” “The one who was a surrogate for Emma and him?” Brody entered the car and laughed. “Yes, she was the oven that cooked Lexington. Emma’s best friend from college.” I looked out the window and she was answering questions as we sped down the road. Ava looked up at Lucas and huffed. “Sorry Daddy.” “Not a big deal.” Lucas hugged her. “You would’ve been the first Links to be arrested but that’s…” Mom giggled and he looked at her. “Did Dad get arrested?” Ava gasped. “Not arrested, held for questioning.” Lucas looked at Mom in amusement. “What did you…” “It was a long time ago. Let’s not worry about it.” Lucas kissed Ava’s head. “So, it appears that we may have those seats tomorrow. If you all feel up to it you should come.”
He was looking at Brody. “Sounds intriguing.” “Good. Ava, you’re going to have to entertain your brother in the morning. I have an early meeting.” “You do? With who? I thought…” “Looks like we’re almost at the hotel. Text Logan and have him wait in the lobby. I’ll warm the car and…” “You should just stay here. It would be silly to leave and come back.” Mom yawned. “There’s plenty of room.” “Yeah Dad.” Ava smacked him. “Logan’s not a morning person.” “What teenagers are?” Brody laughed.
We walked off the elevator and Ava hugged me. “You okay?” “Are you?” “Of course.” “Good. See you in the morning.” Ava and Lucas waked into Mom’s suite and I peeked in. Logan was asleep on the sofa and Matthew and CJ jumped up. “Come on in, let him sleep.” They followed us across the hall and Maddox looked at me. “You all need rest.” “I need a bath.” “Good, I will draw you one. You can chat but not for too long.” Mom, CJ, Matthew, and Lucas sat in the living area talking. My brothers asked a million questions and Mom and Lucas answered most of them. They started talking football and I was almost asleep when I heard Maddox talking to my mother. “You should stay in the other room here with us. Give them your room?” “Sounds perfect.” Mom stood and gave the boys and me a kiss. “Lucas thanks and maybe you should think about taking someone with you tomorrow.” I looked at Lucas whose jaw twitched. “I’ll be fine.” “Don’t be a stubborn ass Links. One of you go with him?” “Tessa, I’m not a child.” Lucas raised his eyebrow. “Lucas, when you’re angry sometimes you act like one. Please take someone with you.” She shut the door to her room and Lucas looked around and then rolled his eyes. “We can both go.” Matthew offered. “If this is about what happened today I want to be there.” Lucas looked apprehensively at him. “You two really don’t need to. The man’s a weasel and I’m just gonna make some noise.” Maddox looked at me and then back at my brothers. “I’d like to go as well.” Matthew laughed out loud. “Hell no!” Maddox’s face turned red in anger. “I have a few things I’d like to say.” “Hold up a minute, maybe I do too. If you go so am I.” I truly had no desire but I knew if I made a stink about it he may understand why it was I didn’t want him to go. Lucas chuckled as he stood. “Goodnight Harper. Goodnight boys.” Maddox looked at me with a blank expression for a moment without saying a word. When everyone had left he walked over to the room’s refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water. “Your bath is ready.”
I stood and walked to the bathroom. I turned off the water and started taking off my shirt when the door opened. I watched Maddox’s reflection in the mirror trying to gauge his mood. He didn’t make eye contact. He set the water bottles down on the counter and leaned against the counter. “I should be the one handling this…” “Maddox…” “No Harper let me finish. I should be the one confronting the man who is trying to cause yet more problems for you.” He stepped forward and lifted my shirt. “It is not only my job, but also my pleasure, to take care of you. Turn around please.” He unhooked my bra. “It’s mine to take care of you as well. I won’t have you getting in trouble, getting arrested, fleeing the country—again.” He turned and looked down at me and he pulled my bottoms down along with my underwear. I grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head and looked at his tattoo. I bent and kissed it. “I love you no less.” “I know that.” “I wouldn’t be alright if I was to be without you again Maddox.” “It’ll never happen. Not ever again.” “Then don’t go.” He bent and kissed my cheek. “Let’s take a bath.” “Maddox, I’m serious. Don’t go.” “Harper, let’s just have a nice bath. You and me. I’m not going anywhere.” We both sat in the tub opposite each other. He washed my feet and moved up my body pulling me closer to him with each inch he cleaned. He pulled me on his lap. “Lean back.” He held my back as I did as he commanded leaning backwards until my head was submerged in the water. He pulled me up and soaped my hair as I wrapped my arms around him and cleaned his back. He leaned me back again cupping water in his hands as he rinsed the suds from my hair. I could feel his rock hard erection growing between my legs. I reached down and took him in my hands and rubbed him against me. His eyes hooded and a groan escaped his chest as I slowly lifted myself above him and lowered; taking him inside of me, inch by glorious inch. I moved slowly up and down him holding the sides of the tub. Taking control of this beautiful moment was an indulgence I rarely took. Maddox was amazing in every way, and giving him control always ensured I was more than satisfied, several times, before he finally let go. One could say he was controlling in bed and one could say he enjoyed rendering me powerless and senseless. Both would be true and I would be a liar if I said that it was a burden. It wasn’t, it was a blessing. But right now, at this moment, the way he watched me move up and down on him was almost as wonderful as when he was on top and I would hear him cry out my name when he came inside of me. The reverence in his voice when this happened was something of beauty. He was looking at me now in awe and it made me feel the same way. He watched me working myself up and down him, his hands holding the tub in front of mine. He wasn’t touching me with his hands but he was with his soul. He was burning for me and me for him. When I was on edge I grabbed around his neck; riding him fast as I took my pleasure. When I finally came, he did too and held nothing back. We sat in the cool water both trying to catch our breath as we looked deeply into one another’s eyes. “I love you Harper Ann Abraham.” “I love you Maddox Henry Hines.”
We lay in bed naked wrapped in each other’s arms. Maddox kissed my head and then sat up. “You’re shivering. Let me grab you a shirt and turn up the heat.” I watched as he walked over to his bag and grabbed a sweatshirt, the one that said Brody Hines Band on the front, with the faded British flag. My favorite one to wear whenever I missed him. The one I did wear when he and I weren’t together while I attended Cornell. I sat up and he pulled it over my head. He pulled my wet hair out from the back as I pushed my arms through the sleeves. “Better?” “Almost.” I lay down and he slid in beside me. He pulled me closer and wrapped his arm around me holding me tightly against him. “Better now?” He asked. “Perfect.”
CHAPTER SEVEN Freezing Temps
Maddox I had kept my cool throughout that whole mess. When all I wanted to do was throw my fist through those dirty ass cops faces. Now Harper was trying to keep me from going with Lucas to confront the man who had tried to press charges against my Harper. I know what she was trying to prove in the bath. She was taking control of a situation that was normally mine to control. It wasn’t unenjoyable or uncomfortable per say, but what she was trying to do wasn’t going to happen. I am a man and she was mine. I wouldn’t be told not to do something that every part of me was fighting to do. She was wrapped up in my arms, peacefully asleep looking like an angel. I would take it all in now because the next few days would be cold ones. She was going to be angry but hopefully she would understand. I will not allow her to be talked to or treated like she was today. Hell, if she gets too upset I could always tell her if she had told me she was coming she would’ve been safe. She would have been closer to me. Fucking Tomas, where the hell was he when she was struck and spoken to like she was. Yes, he and I would definitely be having a chat very soon. I held her tighter, closer and allowed myself to close my eyes long enough to sleep for a couple of hours.
“Can you see them?” “Maddox, yes I see them. Relax.” “Relax; yeah that’s just what I’ll do. Ever been on the shit list Surge?” I watched him peer up in the rearview mirror at me. “Yes I have. The list is normally yours.” I rolled my eyes and sat back but he was right. I had been hard on him since England. We pulled over right behind Lucas’s black Audi SUV. I jumped out and followed him across the road. “Wait up!” He stopped and looked back. “What the hell are you doing here? I left early enough so Tessa’s boys would stay the hell out of the situation and now you? Maddox, I want you to turn around and go back.” “I won’t.” “Listen up kid; this is all about me now. I don’t need…” “She’s mine to take care of! I go with you or I go alone!” He looked at me frustrated. “This conversation stays between you and I Maddox. I know what needs to be said and done. This is because of him and me.” “Not the girls who put their fucking hands on Harper. Not the bitches who said they were glad my child died because she wasn’t good enough!” He held his hands up stopping me. “I am very sorry that happened to you. More than you could begin to understand. I love that little girl Maddox. I’ve watched her grow up, how could I not? What people say about us, about you and her doesn’t mean shit. It’s unfortunate that people are that shallow. They see you and want something from you. They see Harper as something getting in their way. Unfortunately you both have to grow a thicker skin. I’m not saying it to be rude, but to protect her you can’t live like that. You’ll ruin it between the two of you. Show her how much you adore her every day. Ignore the demons and the self- doubt or you’ll lose yourself and her in the process.”
“I get that but I’m still going.” “Maddox it’s a public restaurant. If you walk in there with me, you keep your cool. You let me say what I need to and you don’t ever repeat a word of it or I won’t go in there. Do you understand?” “I’ll do my best.” “No Maddox, you’ll do as I ask. Trust me on this.” I knew he wasn’t budging. “Fine.” I followed Lucas into the hotel restaurant that was full of people enjoying a Sunday breakfast. The hostess tried to stop us but Lucas kept walking and I followed him. We walked up to a group of men sitting in a back corner. Lucas grabbed a chair from a table next to theirs filled with women. He winked as he dragged it to the table. He sat backwards in the chair next to a man I didn’t recognize and reached over to his plate and grabbed a piece of bacon. “Sam Hammond just the man I was looking for. Oh and hey Maddox, do you recognize these two?” He handed me a piece of bacon. “Pigs?” Sam started standing and Lucas pushed his chair forward trapping him. “Oh please don’t get up Sam. Don’t waste your pleasantries. Maddox you have your phone?” “Yeah.” “Great how about you get a few pictures while I explain why the fuck the shit that went down last night will never happen again.” I did as I was asked. “Perfect now Sam, your daughters…” “One daughter Links. The other girl was my niece, Senator Robertson’s daughter.” “Which little bitch hit my fiancée’?” Sam looked back at me, “My daughter moved her arm, it just so happens her face got in the way,” Sam looked over at the cops from last night. “A complete accident.” “And who was talking about a young woman whose father and child had just been murdered?” Lucas pushed his chair just as Sam was talking a drink. “Fucking asshole you spilt my drink.” “Oh I am so sorry.” Lucas said sarcastically. “You can tell your little bitch to keep her mouth fucking shut!” Lucas looked up at me and shook his head no. “Here’s the deal, stay the fuck away from my kids. Stay the fuck away from Maddox and his family. And you two boys need to really think about who you align yourselves with.” “We have photos now proving the link between you scum.” I held up my phone. “Sent to others so don’t even try to deny it.” “Links how’s your wife?” Sam snarled. “She’s just the same. But yours is looking a little lonely. Give her my number?” Lucas stood up and then returned the chair to the ladies at the table next to them. “You catch all that?” They smiled and nodded yes. “Perfect.” Lucas smiled and waved the waitress over and he handed her money. “Please see to it these beautiful women are well taken care of.” He turned around and sniffed at Sam Hammond’s table. “Smells like shit over here. Let’s roll Hines.” I turned around and walked back to Sam Hammond and whispered in his ear and then walked away. “You couldn’t help yourself could you boy?” Lucas put his hand on my shoulder and we walked out the door. “Nope.” We stopped in front of his car and Surge pulled the car in front of it. “You’re on the shit list you
know?” “She won’t like it but she’ll understand.” He laughed. “Was it worth it?” “I know his name and his face. So yes, it was.” “Good. Okay let’s get back to the hotel. With any luck they slept in.”
When we got off the elevator Harper was pacing at the end of the hall along with her mother, my mother, Dad, and well everyone except London and Lexington. “She a foot stomper?” Lucas chuckled. I looked at him and nodded. “It’s gonna feel like a heat wave outside for a while boy, and it’s fucking February.” He patted me on the back and we walked down the hall to the angry mob assembled. “Links…” “Dad, he didn’t even know I was following him.” “Maddox I can speak for myself.” “Harper…” She turned around and stomped into her our suite. I followed her into the bedroom where she grabbed her suitcase and started throwing clothes in it. I grabbed it away and she snatched it back. “I told you NO!” “You asked me not to go.” “And what that’s not enough? You know what Maddox you ass, I’m not talking to you!” She threw some things in her bag and when she turned to grab her stuff from the bathroom I dumped it all out. She walked out arms full and gasped. “What the hell are you doing?” “Stopping you from remove acting foolishly.” I started holding her shirt and she snatched it away. “I’m not staying here with you.” “Yes, you are.” I grabbed her clothes and held them. “You’re a child. Do you have any idea,” she stopped talking and walked out the door and across the hall slamming the door to her families suite shut. I sat on the bed, exhausted and pissed off, still holding her damn clothes. What the hell was I gonna do keep them hostage? Shit, I knew she was gonna be pissed off but not to this degree. Holy hell she was fuming. Fuck it, she was gonna have to talk to me in order to get her clothes back. I sent Surge a text asking that he come take her damn pajamas and get them fixed. I knew I wasn’t getting into her panties tonight and she may as well be wearing those damn things. Dad came in and looked at me. “What were you thinking?” “I was thinking,” I stopped talking when Ava came in the room. “Harper would like her clothes. She is going to shower and get ready for the football game.” “We aren’t going. We talked about it last night.” I snapped at her. “Oh she’s going. Her clothes please.” Ava held out her hand. “Tell her if she wants them come and get ‘em.” Ava laughed as she walked out of the room. I watched from my bed as she opened the suite’s door and Harper was standing there waiting. “Maddox, she was worried.” “Well now there’s one less thing she needs to worry about Dad.”
I grabbed her bag and shoved her clothes in it. “You want me to take them over?” “No Dad, I want her to come talk to me.” I shoved the bag under the bed and looked up into my Dad’s shocked and slightly amused eyes. “Don’t you think that’ll make things worse?” “No. She’ll need clothes at some point.” “And you’re not afraid that’s pushing a bit too much?” “I don’t know Dad you tell me. What would you do if Emma was being unreasonable?” He looked at me stone face. “You handle things your way and I will mine. She loves me she’ll understand.” I looked away. I was still sitting on the bed an hour later when Harper walked in with a tight little shirt on and loose fitting belted pants. She walked in and right past me. Immediately I noticed her tits were free. She grabbed her boots and shoved her feet in them and then grabbed her handbag. She looked at me and rolled her eyes and grabbed her coat and threw it on. She started walking towards the door. “Where the hell are you going?” She turned around and scowled, “To the game Maddox.” “With no fucking bra!” I was infuriated. “Well it seems I don’t have clothes anymore. So no bra or panties.” She walked out the door quickly and slammed it shut. I scrambled to my feet and grabbed the bag from under the bed and grabbed a blue lacy bra. I ran to the door and opened it ready to haul her little ass back in here and shove her tits in that thing myself if she fought me I didn’t care. “You coming?” Lexington smiled. “Yes, yes I am. Just one minute please. Harper I need a moment.” She scowled at me and stomped in the room. I shut and locked the door behind her and held up her bra. “Put this on.” “Kiss my …” She stopped and grabbed it and turned around and quickly latched it in front of her and turned it pulling her arms under the obscenely tight top and pulling it up. She turned around and glared at me. “Better?” “Whose fucking shirt is that London’s?” I hissed even though I knew I shouldn’t be pushing my luck. “It’s Ava’s.” She walked past me and out the door. I threw a hat on and shoved my feet in my boots, grabbed my coat and I was out the door. Dad looked at me and snickered.
She didn’t ride with me, instead she road with Lucas and his kids. Fuck she was pissed. I sat staring out the window as we went into the tunnel. I could still see Lucas’s tail lights and Harper sitting in the backseat with Ava. I would make damn sure she didn’t ignore me today. We pulled into the parking lot behind them and parked next to the SUV. Lucas opened the back and pulled out some sort of table and began unfolding it. “What is going on?” “Tailgate party Maddox.” He smacked my back and laughed as he pulled out a cooler. I watched as he and Logan set up a grill and Ava pulled out another massive cooler. She reached in
and grabbed two drinks and opened one and handed it to Harper. Harper laughed and took a drink and I watched as she made a face as it went down. “Be careful Harper.” Tessa laughed and patted her on the back. Ava handed Tessa the other. “I shouldn’t.” “Yes you should. We’re tailgating come on let your hair down girl.” Ava grabbed another and handed it to Emma. “Thank you Ava.” “Alright little ladies lets go grab you some fan gear.” Dad took the girls to a vendor walking around selling foam fingers and tee shirts. Ava held her drink up. “A toast to you and a toast to me, and a toast to the boys that lick us where we pee!” Lucas gasped and all the girls laughed. Logan held up his drink. “May the girls with Itty Bitty’s let me pet their pretty kitties.” “Alright you two that’s enough.” Lucas tried scolding his kids. “Logan hand it over now.” CJ held up his beer. “Here’s to the girl on the hill who says no way but her sister will.” Matthew held his drink up. “To a fine selection, no rejection, a firm erection, a clean injection, and no infection.” Tessa covered her face and laughed. It was great to hear her laugh again. And then I heard my sweet little Harper. “To the hole that never heals, the more I rub it the better it feels.” I’m sure my jaw hit the pavement and Ava pointed at me and laughed. Dad and Lucas both looked at me and quickly away. “Here’s to those who wish us well and those who don’t, can go straight to hell!” Tessa laughed. “To the ones we love and the others who hate. May we know the difference while standing face to face.” Lucas took a drink looking distracted momentarily. “Alright let’s cook some steaks.” Harper completely avoided me and I completely wanted to crush the skulls of every one of the guys who stopped to talk with Harper and Ava. She didn’t chat long, she would find a reason to be closer to me than the three foot distance she had been keeping and I was grateful for that. What wasn’t cool was that my Harper, the Harper I had not seen drink more than three or four times, was getting tanked. She had never drunk more than a glass of wine and she had pounded at least three Mike’s Hard Lemonades in the hour and a half we froze our asses off in the parking lot. Or tailgated as London pointed out. We were finally going into the stadium. Tessa, Ava, Emma, and Harper were extremely giggly. Everyone seemed to be having a good time except me. We walked past a group of girls and they immediately noticed Dad and me. Their shrieks stopped Harper dead in her tracks. She turned around and looked at me as the girls approached asking for autographs. Dad signed a few programs and so did I. I pointed Harper out to the girls and mentioned fiancée before politely excusing myself. I made sure Harper heard me. Inside the box was warm; there were televisions, food and booze. The game started and Tessa was all mouth. London was extremely impressed with her knowledge of football and laughed when she cursed at the Giants. Harper and Ava were giggling and had both had three more drinks before half time. I walked up to the glass next to Dad. “You enjoying the game?” “I am actually. I’ve played in this stadium a few times. It’s interesting to see what’s it’s actually used for. Are you?” His concern was evident. “It’s cool. I suppose if I knew what was actually going on I might enjoy it.” Logan stood closer. He explained the game to me and I was able to follow along a little better. I noticed Harper had slowed down on the drinking and she and Ava were sitting now. I walked up to her and squatted. “How are you feeling?”
“Well Mad Mad Maddox I’m actually feeling pissed off…at you.” She slurred and poked my chest. “I understand that but you’ve drunk a lot are you sure you’re feeling…” She leaned forward and nearly slid off the chair. “You left me today.” “I never left you I went to take care of something. I came back to you Harper.” “Do you…re -re –me- ber last time you left to take care.” She stopped talking and scowled. “When you left in England?” I wasn’t expecting that at all. Not one bit. “Harper.” “No Ma. Mad. Dox. No. I’m not talking to you.” “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking of that Sweetness. I wish you would have…” “Ava?” “Harper?” “Will you tell him to go stand over...” She hiccupped. “Over there?” “Maddox…” “Harper I won’t push you while you’re drunk but we will discuss this.” I took her face in my hands. “I love you.” She closed her eyes tightly and huffed. I stood and walked away. Tessa was clapping and whistling her team was ahead by seven. “See the score?” Lucas laughed, “I do. Jose 1s gonna be pissed at you for bringing his team bad luck.” Tessa giggled. “Well I’m pissed at him for coaching the Giants. So we’ll be even.” Logan and she were doing a victory dance when the game ended. Ava and Harper were not. Their heads rested against each other’s and were nearly asleep. Lucas looked at them and shook his head. “Sober up ladies. Twenty minutes until we go meet Jose.”
CHAPTER EIGHT Meadowlands
Harper The room had slowed down a little. I was on a carousel now and not the damn scrambler. Note to self…drinking, totally not your thing. “You okay?” Ava snorted. “Are you?” “Yeah I am; we’re going to the locker room.” “Outside of the locker room Ava.” Lucas scowled. She whispered loudly. “I’m sneaking in.” Lucas’s head snapped back and she laughed hysterically, she even snorted. “She does that on purpose you know?” Mom laughed. “Uh huh. She better be joking.” Lucas said loud enough for Ava to hear. “Maybe I’ll go with her.” Mom teased. “Like hell you are.” Lucas laughed and then after a moment walked a bit further ahead of us. Maddox was next to me and occasionally he grabbed my elbow. Apparently, I was stumbling. The assistant coach, Jose, walked out and gave Lucas a big hug. He immediately recognized my mom and he picked her up and hugged her, twirling her in a circle. Lucas introduced everyone and they chatted awhile. He was very nice and I’m pretty sure he mentioned that he dated my Aunt Kendall briefly. He talked Mom into taking us all out to dinner, his treat the hotel Athenee. When we all loaded in the vehicle’s Maddox reached in and buckled me, shut the door, and then tapped the roof. Lucas backed out and I watched the sad expression on his face. Ava pulled me into a big hug and I started to cry. Lucas looked in the rearview mirror, “Harper that boy loves you and you love him so don’t fight.” “I told him not to go.” I sniffed and wiped my face. “I know you did. But I’m pretty sure he couldn’t help himself. If it makes you feel any better I told him to go home and he didn’t listen to me either.” “It doesn’t make me feel,” I hiccupped, “Any better.” I was feeling queasy and swallowing back tears was not helping. As soon as Lucas pulled into the underground parking garage I unbuckled and rolled down the window. I wasn’t used to the city air; it was crisp and heavy and it was not helping my stomach at all. I stuck my head out the window and Lucas pulled into an empty spot next to the elevator. I leaned out the window and hurled. Ava started laughing and so did Logan. “Alright there girl.” Lucas opened the door and helped me out. “Sorry, I...” “Don’t worry about it. Let’s get you up to your room.” Lucas caught me as I fell out and picked me up. “Okay kid look, you need to throw up again you tell me okay?” Logan and Ava followed, I think, because next thing I knew I heard water running. I opened my eyes and Maddox was standing over me in the bathroom. He didn’t say anything. I heard Mom talking she was thanking Lucas and apologizing for the mess I made. He laughed and made mention that the Ross family had a very low tolerance for alcohol. I sat up and held my palms against the cold marble floor. It felt good so I lay back down and rested my face on it. “Let’s get you up and bathed.” “Don’t even think about it.” I closed my eyes tight and I heard my mom laugh. “All I’m thinking of right now is that I’m sure you would feel and smell better after a bath Harper.
Come on, up you go.” “No Maddox. Mommy please?” “Listen up Harper…” “I got it Maddox.” I felt Mom’s hands on me and I opened my eyes. “Mommy huh?” I shook my head yes. “That bad is it?” “Worse.” She hugged me and I cried. “You’ll feel better once you’re cleaned up and have slept it off.” “I don’t think I will.” “I promise you will.” She helped me up and I sat on the toilet as she peeled my shirt off. I looked up and Maddox was pacing. “You should leave.” I snapped. “No, I should be right here.” “Maddox maybe just go get her night clothes and the bed ready?” “I’m sleeping with you.” “Like hell…” “Maddox.” I was sure she was giving him the eye because he stopped talking and stormed out of the room. I was sitting in the tub and Mom was washing my hair. “I miss him Mom.” “Me too.” She leaned over and kissed my head. “Every day.” “Why does it hurt worse today?” “Well because you’re drunk. Alcohol’s a depressant and because he,” She stopped talking. “Oh Harper I don’t think it’ll ever stop. Not ever, but we have to live.” “Some days…” “I know. But we do it for each other.” When I was clean I wrapped a towel around me. Mom and I walked out into the bedroom. Maddox was standing there with underwear and footies. “They’re broke.” “I had them fixed. Come on Harper lets be done fighting alright? Please.” “Tomorrow.” Mom walked out of the room and I allowed Maddox to help me. I stood and put my arms in my pajamas and he zipped them up quickly. “Stay.” “No Maddox.” I wouldn’t look into his eyes. I knew he was hurting but I was still so upset, and not feeling well. I walked in the suite past everyone and straight into Mom’s room and lay down and cried. Mom came in and laid next to me. “You’ll be alright. Tomorrow you’ll feel much better.” “No I won’t. Mom Maddox is mad at me and I’m so afraid he’s gonna,” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. “Okay Harper Ann. Let’s get some sleep alright?” I woke up to Maddox picking me up out of bed. He carried me out of the room and across the hall into our room and laid me on the bed. “I’ll sleep on the floor.” I rolled so my back was facing him and fell asleep.
When I woke I still felt awful but I was warm and wrapped in Maddox. I was mad at him; I wanted him safe. I looked up as his eyes were fluttering open. He kissed my head and rolled to his back. “I’ll get you a drink and something for your head.” He walked out of the room and into the living room area. I went to use the bathroom and brush my teeth; my mouth felt disgusting. When I came out he stood and pulled the blankets back. “Get back in here, sleep it off.” I sat down and took the bottle of water and the Tylenol. I lay back down and he sat next to me. “When you went across the hall I followed. I waited until you stopped crying. When your mom came out I told her I wasn’t leaving without you and that she should go meet her friends. I brought you in here. You can be pissed at me, I expect it. What I didn’t expect was that you were afraid if I left you’d be hurt again. For that I’m sorry. I never want you to be afraid again.” I pulled the blankets up. “Say something Harper. Please, just say something.” “You told me you had that tattoo now. You told me jail wouldn’t bother you. That’s what upset me first. But then it was that,” I stopped and looked at him. “I wasn’t afraid for me Maddox I was afraid for you. What if you’d gotten in trouble? What if you’d gotten hurt?” “I brought Surge. I knew Lucas was going to be there. I wanted to see the man who was so cold that he would have those two bitches press charges. I wanted to see him so I knew what he looked like. So I know his face. I also needed him to know some things as well.” “I don’t want to fight right now.” “I don’t want to fight ever again.” “Then don’t do things like that.” “Listen, you can’t ask me not to want to keep you safe.” “I’m going back to sleep.” He lay down beside me. “That’s perfect because that way you won’t look at me the way you did all day.”
CJ and Matthew had to head back to school, both were going to take the semester off but Mom convinced them not to. Matthew was working on his Doctorate in Judicial Science and CJ was in his fourth year in the MD program. I hated to see them leave and felt my mother’s tension heighten after she waved them off. We landed in Ithaca at four in the afternoon. I was glad to be back upstate and excited that we were only thirty minutes from home. The only other place that came close to giving me this feeling was the Cape. “You guys mind dropping me off at my house?” “Of course not Ava.” Mom smiled. “Thanks. Then tomorrow we go look for dresses! We only have four months until the wedding.” I could feel Maddox’s eyes burning into me. “Syracuse?” Ava asked. “I’ll look into it and call you?” “I’ll research places as well.” We dropped Ava off and I looked behind us. Emma, Brody, and the girls still followed behind. I was use to Tomas always being with us, I had also grown use to this. Brody Hines was different than my father, a lot less reserved yet in many ways he was like him. Very protective and I admired that about him.
Mom was sitting in the front of the vehicle with Tomas. They were talking about the business and what needed to be done from here on out. My father and mother had decided that the holidays would be a shutdown of sorts a long time ago. No travel, no consistent connection to the entire world and its problems. The holidays were a time for us but losing Dad on Christmas would forever change that. New Year’s had come and gone as had Valentine’s Day. Maddox and I didn’t make a big deal of it. He understood my request to not have Mom hurt even more because Dad was gone. The boys were allowed to take extra time to resume there prospective programs because of the circumstances that surrounded Dad’s death. It would now be much quieter around our family’s home. I would be worrying about them grieving alone while I am planning my wedding. A happy time that Mom would now have to deal with as well. I looked over at Maddox and he was running his hands slowly up and down the side of his leg. He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw me staring. I pushed my hand across the seat and stuck my picky out as he watched me. “I get that now?” I nodded. “That’s it?” “For now.” He grabbed my hand and then grabbed my knee and pulled me across the seat. He threw his arm around me and pulled my head into his chest. “Nothing I can do about who I am Sweetness.” “You need to at the very least tell me Maddox. It’s not fair.” “Would you have let me go?” I didn’t answer. “That’s why I don’t tell you Harper. I needed this in order to be the only man I want to be for you.” “That’s not fair.” “No? So you tell me how you want me to be?” “I don’t want to fight.” “Perfect because I have other plans for us as well.” I let out a frustrated breath and he looked at me with confusion in his eyes. “Switzerland turns into Iceland over this Harper?” “What?” “Nothing.” He looked back out the window. I sat back and he shook his head. Maddox was mad at me. Perfect. We pulled in and everyone piled out of the cars. We walked into the house and I saw Mom take in a deep breath. I knew what she was thinking; it hurt to be here but it also hurt not to. She walked into the family room and looked around. The hospital bed was gone and so was all the other medical equipment that had been here for my grandfather. I stood behind her and put my hand on her shoulder. “What’s next Mom?” “We start over.” She smiled and hugged me. “Excuse me for a minute.” She walked quickly into the bathroom. My eyes immediately stung and I walked into the room and stood where the bed had been. Tears fell, not just for Harrison, but for Dad. I missed them both so much. It still wasn’t real to me; and I cried for my child, our child. I put my head inside my shirt and covered my mouth. I felt my body jerk as I cried. Get a grip Harper! God I couldn’t keep doing this and I didn’t know how not to. I pulled my head out and wiped my face. I saw Maddox standing a foot away from me with his hands in his pockets.
“Did you need something?” “Nope. Just wanted to be here if you needed…” I turned and hugged him. I hugged him so tight and cried more. He held me and rubbed my back. All the while, he said nothing, he just held me. When I was done I stepped back, “Sorry.” “Don’t be.” “I don’t know how she does it. How she hasn’t lost it at all.” “She’s strong…” “Not invincible.” “No.” “We need to come back here. I can’t be back in,” I stopped and looked at him. “Iceland?” “Sorry.” “You’re a jerk.” I rolled my eyes. “Sometimes. You can be as well.” “Sometimes.” He hugged me again as he looked around the room. “We gonna be here again?” “At least the room has a door now.” “Yeah. It’ll be good for both of you.” “Thanks.” “Anything you need Harper.” I heard Grandpa John and Grandma Caroline. “We should go out.” “We will. Then you’re gonna chill with your Mom and I’m going to gather some things from Switzerland.”
The house was full of family. Everyone showed up. Mom looked so tired but content. I hadn’t left her side and I don’t think I could. She watched as Maddox walked in kicking snow off his boots carrying two bags full of things from camp. “Maddox what are you doing?” “Moving back in.” I took one of the bags and he took his boots off. “No. You two need space.” “Mom, I want to be here.” “Harper we need to move on. We need to get past it. I can’t walk around this place every day wondering when he’s gonna come back. You can’t live your life trying to take care of me. I will be fine.” She walked out of the room and into the bathroom and shut the door. Grandpa John put his arm over my shoulder and smiled. “Stubborn pain in the ass. You better listen to her Harper Ann.” “I can’t let her be here alone Grandpa.” “She can’t handle you trying to take care of her either. You need to move forward so she can.” When she came out Maddox was walking back in from taking everything back. “Maddox I’m sorry. You are very welcome to stay that was rude. Of course I want you both here.” “So shall I go back?” I saw the confusion in his eyes and heard it in his voice. It made me laugh which made them both look
at me. Mom started laughing and Maddox looked at the ground. “I think it’s best if you stay up there. The two of us might just drive you over the edge.” I walked over and stood next to Mom and held her hand. “You just tell me what you need. I’ll do the same.” “You’re my baby Harper. I need you to live. Be happy. Not worry over me.” “Well I need the same from you.”
We all sat around the huge table to eat what Grandma had brought. Mom sat in Dad’s chair and let out a deep breath. Things got loud, everyone was talking over everyone else and for a moment it all felt right. Jade walked in stomping off her shoes. “I’m here for a sleep over.” “Perfect because I’m staying too.” Aunt Phoebe laughed and then reached over and squeezed my hand. “We got this tonight. Please let us.” “That’s fine but I hope you’re both up for a run in the morning.” Mom smirked. “On second thought.” Jade tried to act annoyed. “Fine, but please keep in mind I’m not eighteen anymore.” Conversation was still flowing as we all cleaned up dinner dishes. Emma and Brody announced they were going to start looking into buying land nearby. Mom had mentioned more than once that there was enough land surrounding us and that they should build here. I wanted this too; I wanted Maddox to be close to his family and I couldn’t imagine leaving mine, especially not now. Maddox looked at me yawn for the tenth time tonight and squeezed my hand. “You ready to get back? I started a fire.” “Yeah.” We said our goodbyes, goodnights, and headed up the hill.
CHAPTER NINE Switzerland
Maddox We walked into Switzerland and took off our shoes and coats. Harper looked up at me and scowled. “If your face freezes like that, don’tworry, I’ll still love you.” She giggled. “You laugh at my jokes and I’ll love you more.” “Maddox.” She stopped and looked up at me. Tears started welling in her beautiful ocean blue eyes. “Whatever you need to say Harper I’m all ears.” “Please don’t do that to me again. Don’t let me wake up expecting you to be beside me and be gone.” “I’m not gonna be able to change how I am or who I am.” “But you lied to me. In the bathroom.” I cut her off. “Think about our conversation. I never lied.” She started to argue. I held her lips together, “I never lied.” “I lost our baby--my father! I’m not going to lose you too Maddox.” “I’m not losing you either.” She stomped over to the fire as I hung both our coats. She was standing in front of the fire and I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. “Maddox don’t.” “Why?” “I’m upset at you.” “This too shall,” she elbowed me in the stomach. “Sweetness that was not very nice of you.” I held my side and she turned and looked up at me. “Did I hurt you?” “A little.” I stepped back and sat on the couch. “Maddox. I’m so sorry.” She knelt in front of me and lifted my shirt. “Here?” “A little lower. But I’m fine really.” I tried to pull my shirt down. When I say tried, I mean I gave it a little effort but certainly not my all. “The lights so low in here do you think it’s bruised Maddox?” “Nah. I’m almost certain it’ll be okay.” She kissed my side and I purposely cringed. “Here?” God no, lower Sweetness. “It’s good really. I think I’ll make it Sweetness.” I was hard as a fucking rock. If she couldn’t tell that, I would eat fucking dirt. She unbuttoned my pants and rubbed just under my waist band. Her fingertip brushed across my throbbing cock. “Here?” “It’s a start Sweetness.” She reached her hand lower as she unzipped me. Her hand gripped around me tightly and I hissed. Her tongue flicked across my cock and I gripped the back of her head. She licked again, this time harder. “Better?” I shook my head no and gently guided her head back. Harper scooted between my legs on her knees. She took me in her mouth and began licking, sucking, and even nibbling lightly on me. I fucking loved it when she did that. Never too hard, always just right.
“Sweetness.” I groaned as my hips thrust forward. Her eyes were hungry. She needed this just as much as I did. I reached down and shoved my hand down her shirt. Her nipples were rock hard and tight as hell. With my cock in her mouth she cried out softly as I rolled them between my fingers. “I need you up here. Like fucking now.” Mouth still full of me she shook her head no and began moving faster up and down me. My tip was hitting the back of her throat and she was trying to take me further. She shuttered and I nearly lost it. Blood was rushing down my body. I felt myself begin to throb. “Sweetness. Stop now.” She didn’t. She looked up at me eyes watering as she continued moving her mouth up and down my cock. Hard, fast, licking and sucking the life out of me. I grabbed the back of her head. “Almost at the point.” I hissed when she went almost all the way down. “Fuck Harper. I’m not gonna be able to hold it much longer.” She groaned and then swallowed. Her throat muscles squeezed around my cock and my ass thrust forward. She grabbed my hips and tried her best to hold me still as she moved faster licking my cock rim and sucking harder than ever before. I cried out her name wrapped in fucks and so goods as she swallowed everything I had to give her. I reached down breathlessly, rubbed her head, and patted her back. “I owe you big Sweetness,” I was out of breath and I hadn’t even moved. She was still licking me and rubbing my cock all over her beautiful face. Fuck that was an amazing sight. My Sweetness and Thumper all snuggling. I chuckled and she looked up and smiled. I reached down and grabbed her under the arms and pulled her up on my lap and nuzzled into her hair. “Fucking beautiful.” “Me or the blow job Maddox?” I peaked up. “You, then the blowjob. Sweetness was loving on Thumper.” She smiled and kissed me. “Okay good. So how’s your side?” “My what? Oh my side. All better now thanks.” She rolled her eyes. “The boy who cried wolf.” “Aww but the girl knew it and was all about hunting rabbit.” She yawned and her eyes smiled. “Let’s go to bed. I’m tired.” “Oh no. I owe you.” “Then how about we call it good and you just hold me tonight.” “We’ll see. Up you get. Bathroom, pill, teeth and no fucking footies.” Harper stood quickly and ran into the little bathroom. I stood and pulled my pants up and followed her. I knocked on the door. “You alright in there?” “Yes. No. Damn it!” “Harper.” I opened the door and she was holding her birth control pills. I looked at her curiously and say the look of terror on her face as she pushed three pills from the pack. She started putting them in her mouth and I grabbed her hand. “Not a good idea. You call the doctor tomorrow but no pills until then.” Her limp plumped out and began quivering. I reached over and grabbed her and hugged her. “Don’t cry. I’m sure its fine okay. We only had sex one time and…” “That’s all it takes Maddox.” She was sobbing against my chest.
“Okay stop now. Would it really be that bad?” “We get married in four months Maddox. We just lost a child. Yeah it would be bad; really bad.” Her head snapped up and she looked at me. “You’d be happy wouldn’t you?” After the way she growled I sure as hell should be saying no but that would be a lie. “Let’s get some sleep and not…” “No answer me.” “Will you be quite upset if I don’t answer truthfully?” “We aren’t ready for that.” She pulled away and grabbed her toothbrush all pissy too. She handed me mine and I stood beside her brushing my teeth as she brushed hers. She spit and then I did. Neither of us said a word. She was staring in the mirror looking horrified and then she looked at me. “I got drunk.” She was completely out of sorts. “The likelihood of this being a conversation we need to have is…” Frustrated she set her toothbrush down and walked out. I cleaned both brushes off and gave her enough time to settle in our bed. When I walked in she was standing still clothed looking out the window. I grabbed my pajama bottoms out of the dresser and then grabbed her some of those damn pajamas she liked. “Come on Harper. Let’s get to bed.” “This doesn’t bother you?” “No Harper, if it’s meant to be it will be. Nothing we can do to stop it.” “Yes there is Maddox. If you’re not ready for this we could do a lot of things. There’s termination, adoption…” “Harper enough. Get dressed and get in bed. Neither is an option and you know this just as well as I do. You’re freaking out over something beyond your control. Something that would never be a burden to either of us.” “You’re yelling at me?” “You’re exhausting. Please love let’s…” “Why did you bring me footies?” I looked at her and bit my tongue. I stepped into my pants, pulled them up, and walked over and kissed her. “You need rest…” “Because you think I am?” “No Harper, because you’re acting very unlike yourself. So I know you must be tired. We talk about this tomorrow.” “I got drunk. God Maddox I got wasted!” I pulled her shirt over her head and then reached around unsnapping her bra. I looked down at her tits. Last time they had gotten bigger so I was just kind of curious. “Maddox?” “Sorry Sweetness. They’re hypnotic. Come on let’s get you dressed. You’re going to be fine.” “I was drunk. Didn’t you hear that?” “I heard it, three times now as a matter a fact, and witnessed the occasion. All of it. If you’re concerned about that let me remind you that when you got pregnant last time I was high as a kite. I’m sure whatever is going on in there,” I rubbed her stomach as I pulled down her pants. “Will be fine. Stop fusing and let’s get you in those ridiculous pajamas before I bury my cock inside you, ensuring you get pregnant.” “So you want that? Now you want me to be pregnant?” “Now, tomorrow, next month, whenever it happens I will be ready.” “I have to get back into school. You said you wanted to start school. We have a wedding to plan.”
She continued talking as I dressed her. “Harper, I just put footed pajamas on my very sexy beautiful bride to be. I’m fairly certain I can handle whatever it is that happens. Like I am just as sure you’ll be alright with it too. So would you like to take the three steps it takes to make it into that cozy little bed or would you like me to carry you?” She didn’t answer so I picked her up so she was eyes to eye with me and took two steps, turned around and sat down on our bed as I swung her legs to the side and set her down on my lap—hard. “I’m tired. Drained actually. Probably from the crazy shit that’s gone on with us so I am making an executive decision.” “An executive decision?” “Yes. I’m the man. You’re the little woman. So I make the decisions.” She elbowed me again. “Damn Sweetness is that some sort of foreplay now?” She tried not to smile and buried her head in my neck. “I mean if you wanna suck my dick again feel free. I certainly won’t stop you but Harper the violence isn’t necessary though.” I lay down and she didn’t let go. “Sorry.” It was a whisper. A very low whisper but it was an apology. “It’s all good Sweetness. Tomorrow we call the doctor we figure it out then. Life doesn’t change. Got it?” “Got it.” “Good let’s sleep. I’m exhausted.”
She was asleep and I couldn’t close my eyes. The thought of her carrying a child, our child again, over flooded me with emotion. Fear, concern, love, and I was feeling ecstatic. The most confusing feeling I was overcome with was I was so fucking turned on. Harper is absolutely the most beautiful woman on the planet; probably in the heavens as well. But pregnant Harper gave me a six week constant erection before. It was as if my dick was pointing out ‘hey look what I did’ non-fucking-stop. I could only imagine what it would be like now. I had to work out the entire time she was at work just to ensure I didn’t come off as an over-sexed asshole. I looked down as I sat next to her and I’d be damned if the definition in my abs wasn’t fading. I poked my stomach and I swear I felt a bit mushy. I’m not a vain guy but there is no way I was going to turn into a fat ass now. If she were pregnant I better be in damn good shape because she was gonna have to want me all the damn time. “Thank God your big huh buddy?” I whispered. “Maddox?” “What is it Sweetness?” I lay down next to her. “Who are you whispering too?” Awe damn it! “No one. Just go back to sleep.” “Hold me?” “Of course.” My Sweetness was moody as hell when she was pregnant. She had to be now. She scooted herself back against me and I purposely pushed into her. “Is that? Are you?”
“Yeah. Go to sleep ignore it.” “You sure?” “Yes. Go to sleep please. Your talking isn’t helping.” “Seriously?” She yawned. “I love you. Go to sleep.” She was giggling when she yawned again and I swear it sounded erotic as hell. When she fell asleep again I grabbed my phone and started looking up anything I could on pregnancy. Not that I had forgotten a damn thing I had read before. Once it was in my head it was there for good. Due date calculator. So the problem with this is she really hadn’t had a period. She bled for a long time after we lost our little angel. Valentine’s Day she had been spotting for a couple days but not enough to stop me from celebrating all over her beautiful body. So that would make her due November nineteenth. After sending a couple important emails I felt better. I felt like I now had enough off my chest that I could possibly go to sleep for a couple hours. Maybe more.
CHAPTER TEN Spy Baby
Harper I woke up to Maddox head buried in my neck and his hand holding my bottom. I loved waking up with him especially when he was asleep. I loved watching him in such a peaceful place. He deserved that. He deserved so much more than I could ever give him. The beautiful thing was that I knew I was enough to make him happy; I knew he wouldn’t hurt me intentionally, I knew he would never cheat and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I loved him more than I ever could another. Even when we were apart. I tried to force feelings for Blake but it didn’t happen. How could it when I loved Maddox Hines from the moment I saw him? My stomach turned and I felt myself begin to grow anxious. I looked at the clock and it was already nine in the morning. I never slept this late. Only back in September. I saw his phone light up on the nightstand and I slowly scooted out of the bed. He rolled to his back but didn’t wake. I grabbed his phone and ran to the bathroom when and answered. “Hello?” “Hello is this Harper?” “Yes it is.” “Good morning this is Skaneateles OBGYN. Maddox sent an email saying you had missed a few pills?” It took me a moment to decide if was just shocked, or if I was mad, or if I was mad and shocked. “Yes. Four actually.” “Where in your cycle were you?” “It was the beginning.” “When did you have your last period?” “My first since I lost the baby was before Valentine’s Day.” My stomach was in knots and my mouth started to fill with saliva. “I don’t feel very well.” Was the last thing I said before dropping the phone and hugging the toilet. At that moment there was no doubt for me. None. I knew I was pregnant. The second time I barfed I felt my hair be swept away from my face and his hand running up and down my back. “It’s alright Sweetness.” I threw up again and leaned back against him. I pointed down. “Phone.” He grabbed it. “Hello?” I threw up again and he held my hair as I continued. I didn’t hear much of the conversation until he started yelling. “No! She’ll be dehydrated! What do you mean this is natural? Yes, I read books but she cannot go through this.” He stopped and listened. “Then she needs a fucking IV!” “Maddox don’t.” I sat back and he held me and I took the towel he was just about ready to wipe my face with. “Give me the phone.” He handed me the phone. “Then please ask him…” “Maddox stop. I have this.”
After making an appointment for the next day even though Maddox tried to get me to make it for this morning I hung up. He no longer was barking orders. He was very quiet as he pulled me between his legs against his
chest. I sat back and felt his heart beating like crazy against my back. “You need to relax or you’ll give yourself a heart attack.” “Jesus Harper are you sure you’re alright?” “Yes. This happens when I’m…” I stopped because I wasn’t ready to admit it out loud. “This much?” “Yes.” “Every day?” “Every morning yes.” “So you are positive?” “Ninety percent sure yes. But a hundred percent sure that I am still going back to take classes and finish my degree.” “They said you didn’t…” “Maddox I’m finishing.” He was quiet for a moment. “Your due date is November nineteenth.” I turned and looked at him. He had a gentle smile playing across his whole face and he couldn’t hide it no matter how hard he tried. He kissed my cheek and then pressed his lips against my neck. I could feel him smile against me. I could be mad and I could be bitchy. Who could blame me I had just thrown up at least ten times and felt it may be possible to do it again. But I wasn’t. He was genuinely happy. “Do you think you could act a little less overjoyed and a little more sympathetic?” “I can sympathize with you and I will through every beat of this. But I’m a happy man Harper. Very happy.” “Well I’m glad. Now tell me what you’re really feeling.” I was joking but I guess he didn’t know that. “Well I’m thinking I have a baby growing in there. Inside of you Harper. My favorite place to be. I’m thinking it may be our angel is finally ready to come back to us. That maybe he was just waiting in heaven until now. Oh and I’m thinking I’m glad that fuck Drake isn’t around.” “Maddox!” I gasped. “You asked Sweetness now don’t be angry when I answer truthfully.” “Did you hear the part about finishing school?” “I did and I will support you in anyway humanly possible.” I sat thinking for a while. “You emailed the OB.” “Yes I did. Apparently that helped me sleep soundly enough for you to sneak out of bed this morning.” “Baby Spy.” He laughed. “We’ll be married in June and holding our child in November. And from now until then I will be peaking in on that baby regularly.” “Shit!” I stood up and he stood too. “I’m going dress shopping today. How the hell am I supposed to pick out a dress Maddox?” “Stay home today and let this all sink in. Let me show you how much you mean to me all day long.” He grabbed my hands and started pulling me towards the door. “Maddox I’m going. Please help me figure this out.” “Nothing tight. Okay figured out now let’s go back until…What time will you be going?” I grabbed my phone off the counter. “Ten thirty. Mom and Ava messaged.” I read the messages. “Emma, Aunt Phoebe, Jade, and Grandma Maggie are going as well. I need to be ready in an hour.” He grumbled and walked back into the bathroom and started the shower. “Come on little Momma. I’m
gonna take one with you. I really need your pussy now Harper.” “Maddox?” “What?” “I was just throwing up.” He grabbed his toothbrush and quickly brushed his teeth. He rinsed and spit. “Right. Do you still feel nauseous?” “No, not really.” “Perfect.” I started to brush my teeth as his flannel pajamas went flying off in record time. I had just put my toothbrush down and he was behind me yanking down my underpants. I stepped out and he kissed up my legs and then nipped my bottom. My shirt was slowly being pushed up as a cascade of wet slow kisses made their way up my spine. I lifted my arms and my shirt came off. His lips on my neck, one hand between my legs and the other cupping my breast. An appreciative groan vibrated against my skin. My back arched and his breath hit my neck. Hotter. Faster. God I loved his body. We stood under the shower. Plastered together by choice but also because space dictated it. He squirted soap in my hands and his. He started to rub my breasts. “Squeaky clean.” “I don’t have much time.” “Don’t need much time.” He started kissing down my body and then washing every inch. He maneuvered behind me and pulled my head back under the shower head. He kissed my hungrily; licking and then sucking lightly on my tongue as he rubbed shampoo in my hair. He turned me and grabbed the conditioner and squirted it in his hands. He rubbed the conditioner through my hair haphazardly as he rubbed himself against me. “Turn, hands on the wall.” He maneuvered behind me. “Maddox I, oh yes.” “Yes?” He didn’t wait for a response he pushed into me slowly. Inch by inch. His hips moved stretching me to accommodate his size and then finally he thrust deeper. I was already burning, pulsing. “Sweetness already?” “How? How did you…” “Squeezing.” He pushed into me harshly. “The fuck.” He groaned. “Out of me.” He stopped moving. “What are you doing?” I whined. He gave a sympathetic smile. “I really need for more than five minutes with you Harper. My stamina is fucking withering away.” “We don’t have time right now Maddox.” I pushed back against him. “Fuck me!” After the initial shocked expression left his face and mine. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. His jaw clenched and nostrils flared. “Say it again.” “No.” “Sweetness say it again.” “Fu…Oh God!” He pushed into me harshly and then continued fast shallow thrusts until I came. “You good Sweetness?” “Oh yes.”
He pumped into me faster and harder until I left his release and he yelled. “Fuck!” Maddox pulled out and grabbed a wash cloth. He groaned as he cleaned between my legs. “You have no idea how insane you drive me.” He kissed my shoulder and then wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and leaned my back against his chest. “I do.” He lifted my chin and kissed me. “My beautiful, sexy little Momma.” “We aren’t sure.” “Yeah we are. Sweetness we can be happy about this okay.” I nodded and smiled. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed if I’m not.” “It wouldn’t be for long. If you weren’t you are now.” “Shit.” “No shit Sweetness. I just got you pregnant.” The way he smiled and wiggled his eyebrows made me laugh. I turned and kissed him. “Keep it up and I’ll be carrying you to bed. Making you stay there all day while I…” “You awake?” I heard Moms voice. Maddox chuckled. “We will never again have a true Switzerland will we?” I shook my head no. “Does it bother you?” “Not one bit. It’s nice and…” Mom banged on the bathroom door. “You okay in there?” “Just a minute Mom.” I stood on my tip toes and kissed his very soft very full lips and then stepped out.
Mom was standing next to the fireplace completely unaware that I had come out. I set my hand on her shoulder and she smiled. “Did I interrupt?” “No.” Maddox walked out in his pajama pants while drying his hair and Mom giggled. “I did. Do you mind if I use the bathroom?” “No go ahead.” I walked into the bedroom and grabbed some clothes. Maddox was sitting on the bed. “Sweetness?” “Yeah?” I grabbed my underclothes out of the drawer. “Tell her.” “It’s too soon. We don’t even know.” “Then tell her that. Give her something to look forward to.” I stopped dressing and looked at him. I felt my eyes starting to water and he stood up and walked to me. He squatted so we were eye level. “Let her know first. Then I will have to tell my parents of course, but give her this.” I shook my head yes and he wiped my fallen tears. “I love you so much Maddox.” “Don’t ever stop.” “I won’t ever.” “Promise?” “I promise. I want you to tell her.”
“No you. I’ll be right there too.” After we finished dressing we walked out and Mom was standing against the counter again she was inside her head. “Mom?” “Oh sorry Harper I didn’t hear you.” “You’re gonna want to hear this Tessa.” Maddox smiled. “Have a seat.” Mom followed me over to the sofa and we both sat. Maddox stood behind me holding my shoulder. “Mom, there is a great possibility that I may be pregnant.” “A very great possibility.” She looked back and forth between Maddox and me. I was so afraid she was upset but then she started laughing, crying and the hugged me tight. “We’re not a hundred percent sure…” “But your daughter threw up A LOT this morning.” “And I missed about a weeks’ worth of pills. I have an appointment tomorrow.” “We would like you to go with us.” Maddox leaned over and gave her a quick hug. “We aren’t telling anyone yet.” “But you agreed that we could tell my parents soon.” “Of course. But...” I stopped and looked up at Maddox. “What is it Harper?” “I want to get plan a wedding. Get married. Enjoy all of that before anyone knows. That’s even if I’m pregnant.” Mom smiled. “I absolutely understand.” “I’d like to go today.” Maddox said as he walked into the bedroom. “Harper is he serious?” “It doesn’t matter if he is. It’s not gonna happen.” He walked back out in jeans as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Maddox you can’t.” “I certainly can. Nothing else planned today.” “No you aren’t. You can’t see the dress before we get married.” “That’s ridiculous.” “It’s tradition Maddox.” He looked at me with a blank stare for a moment. “Surge and Tomas go, both of them. No one goes anywhere alone. I don’t like this one bit.” “Maddox. Tomas will be driving. We will be fine.” The door swung open and Ava walked in first. “Are we ready yet?” Everyone else started walking in. Jade, Emma, London, Lexington, Phoebe, Grandma Maggie and a surprise visit from Caroline. I smiled as Aunt Phoebe hugged me. “Your big day.” “Lexington and London aren’t you supposed to be in school?” “No! This is a girl’s day Maddox.” “Yeah Maddox.” Lexington giggled. Caroline hugged Maddox. “I’ve missed you.” “I suppose you and Grandpa Henry ought to move here as well?” I looked over to see her expression. She smiled and patted his cheek. “I think maybe you’re right.” She looked at me and smiled curiously. “And how are you Harper?”
“I’m great.” I hugged her and she laughed. “I would say so. A perfect life from here on out.” “Jade is Riley meeting us there?” Jade nodded. “Very cool. Let’s get this party started!” Ava laughed. “Give him a kiss and let’s go.” While everyone walked out Maddox hugged me. “Don’t tire yourself out too much today. I have big plans tonight.” “Bigger than this morning?” “Hmm. We shall see.” I hugged him tighter and he chuckled. “Maddox, I’m going to get a wedding dress.” “Please just make it something short and sinful.” I laughed and stepped back. “Sinful?” “Yes please.” I shoved my shoes in my feet and looked down. I looked like hell. Yoga pants and a Cornell sweatshirt. He looked at my face. “What is that for?” “Did you see what I’m wearing Maddox?” “Harper I swear to you that you have never looked more beautiful to me than right this moment.” When he said those things to me I melted inside. There was no longer a doubt. But still there was that butterfly feeling I prayed would never ever go away.
CHAPTER ELEVEN Wow
Maddox I watched as the cars pull out of the driveway. I didn’t like her leaving without me. I also didn’t feel she was in harm’s way. Surge and Tomas were there and so was Ava. As annoying as she could be, and as much as I didn’t like her when I was introduced to her at Harpers’ prom, I knew she was a good friend to my girl. She brought her to me last summer and she went after a girl for talking badly of Harper. I was about ready to walk in when I saw Dad jogging up from the house. I stood waiting on the small porch as he made his way up. “Good morning! Feel like taking a run?” “Absolutely just give me two minutes.” I went inside and Dad followed me. “How’s everything with Harper?” He yelled from the living area. “Good.” “No more issues from the other day?” “No I think that’s over.” “Will you be doing that again?” “You mean taking care of a situation if it arises?” “Maddox…” “Yes Dad. I absolutely will do it again if need be. Harper knows this.” “Could you at least let me know?” “Maybe.” I walked out and he followed me. “I need for you to let me be there for you Maddox.” We started running up the driveway towards the road. “Dad you’ve done the same thing.” “I also learned to talk about things with Emma. Give her a heads up and let her in on what is going on. Collin Abraham taught me that.” I didn’t say anything as we ran faster. When we got to the road I looked at him. “He needed to know who I was.” “Meaning?” “That I will protect was is mine. You taught me that.” He didn’t reply. We ran in silence for about twenty minutes before we slowed down at the end of the wooded country road. “Look Maddox. You’re my son. I may be new to all this but I can promise you that I am learning as I go. Emma gets pissed, well emotional, when I make decisions that make her uncomfortable but she trusts me more now than ever. I can promise you that the more trust you have in a relationship the deeper your love for one another grows. Life is much easier that way. Much more enjoyable as well.” “I’m trying. Learning something new every day.” We started jogging again. “Maddox please stop shutting me out. I not only want but I need to know you’re alright.” “Dad I’m fine.” “Then tell me why you needed to be there.” “He needed to be told who I was.” “Maddox that’s not difficult to figure out.” “He needed to know the hype isn’t bullshit. That I did not fear him or any man and that I would always protect what was mine.”
Dad didn’t say much as he ran harder. When we got to the top of the driveway he stopped and looked at me. “Your mine to protect as well…” “Dad I’m not a child.” “You’re my child Maddox! I may not have been able to protect you back then but I will do whatever the fuck I can now. This bullshit, whatever it is that’s been going on between the two of us, stops now! I don’t give a fuck how old you are. One or one hundred. You are mine. So I’m done tip toeing and I’m done thinking that you blame me for what happened to you and that’s why…” “I don’t blame you! Jesus Dad I just want her to know I can take care of her. That regardless of my past I can actually be what she deserves. That I’m not a fucking child!” “She saw that with her own eyes Maddox; she knows you would do anything to protect her.” We were now walking down the hill and he was pissed. I’d never really seen him upset or angry at me before today but I finally realized just how harsh I was being to him. “It was never my intention to hurt your feelings. I’m a man now I assumed that …” “You’ll always be my son Maddox. I have a lot to make up for.” “You’ve given me everything I could ever dream of and then some.” “Fine. But damnit talk to me.” I heard pain in his voice. “Okay.” “Okay?” He looked at me suspiciously. “What’s this tradition that says I can’t see her dress?” “Supposed to be bad luck.” “Okay then tell me what’s expected out of a groom. I want her to have everything and anything she wants.” Dad and I arrived at the camp and I now knew what the many traditions were. “Would you like to go out for breakfast?” “Sounds good.”
We sat at a little restaurant in town at a booth. It was interesting to have everyone look at us and see them whispering but not approach us. The waitress walked up to the table and smiled. “Well good morning.” “Good morning.” Dad gave his stage smile. She smiled back and looked at me. “How’s my girl?” “Pardon me?” “Harper. How is she?” “She’s well thank you.” “She’s a wonderful girl.” “I agree.” I felt Dad kick me under the table and I looked at him. “What?” She looked back and forth between us and smiled. “That family means a lot to us around here. Their part of this community, a cherished part. I suppose if all the gossip is true that means you’ll be part of it as well?” “Harper and I will be married and hope to live here.”
“Good well than welcome.” She looked at Dad. “And you are Emma Fields husband?” “Emma Hines yes.” “And London…” “Of course London.” Dad smiled and she laughed. “Well than to both of you. What can I get you for breakfast?” After eating a very large very enjoyable meal—in public Dad and I sat in the car and both laughed. “It’ll be nice here yes?” “Seems like a great place to lay down roots.” “Hey Dad I wanna tell you something but only if you can keep it from Emma until tomorrow night.” He looked at me curiously and then his jaw dropped. “Yeah Harper and I…” “No. Don’t she’ll be upset if I don’t tell her so just stop right there.” He sat back in his seat and closed his eyes and then smiled and shook his head. “Great place to lay down roots.” “So I can’t tell you?” “No.” He laughed. “And I can’t tell you how happy I am for you. Or ask how she’s dealing with this, how you are feeling. But damn!” “I won’t tell you that I’m ecstatic and that she is happy as well. Or that even though this was far from planned it’s a great blessing.” “And I can’t tell you that I am going to take Tessa up on her offer to buy land and build real fucking close to you. Or that even though I’m only thirty four years old…” “Nice try. You’ll be thirty six on October 31st.” We both laughed as he pulled out onto the road. “Shall we drive around and look at the Abraham land?” “I’d like that. Dad, where’s Clive?” He looked at me and tried not to smile. “I won’t tell you he’s tailing Tomas and Surge.” “Will it be like this always?” “Will you be comfortable otherwise? I mean when you have children someday will you feel comfortable not having someone?” “No.” I sent Harper a text - I miss you sweetness…MH - She doesn’t miss you. She’s having a great time trying on dresses. Too bad you can see them. The lingerie is next…Ava “You checking in on Harper?” “I was trying too. Got Ava instead.” Dad chuckled. “How do you feel about her?” “When I first met her I thought she was wild. At Harpers’ prom she certainly wasn’t my favorite person. But she brought Harper to me in New Jersey and then she attacked some bitch a few days ago defending Harper. I actually like her a lot now. She always seems to be able to brighten Harpers moods.” “Moods?” “Well lately but I think.” I stopped and looked at him. “I think I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Dad laughed and my phone started going crazy alerting me of messages. All from Harper or should I say Harpers phone. “Everything alright?”
“Yes. Ava is sending pictures.” I felt my face burn and Dad looked at me inquisitively. “Apparently the store had a lot of lingerie.” “Really?” Dad pulled into the driveway and looked over at my phone. The first was a halter type lace nighty that tied around her neck. I’m pretty sure if on a woman the neckline would be just above the navel. I also knew a woman like Harper would have no coverage whatsoever. The next picture I opened had the back view there was a heart shape cut out. And not a small cut out, Harpers fine ass would be completely exposed. Dad and I both gave an appreciative groan. The next was a halter top bra with a plaid pleated skirt that was short enough to completely expose the red patch of red fabric that had an A plus on it. “Naughty schoolgirl.” Dad chuckled. The next was a back shot of black leather looking material that appeared to be just straps of material with gaps large enough between them to leave little to nothing to the imagination. “Not my thing.” I looked at Dad and he tried very hard to act as if he felt the same way but the smug ass grin started creeping up the side of his mouth. The next was a red number that had the cups open except for a ribbon that tied into a large bow that would cover the breast area. With matching thongs of course. “This would be nice in blue.” “Fuck that Emma is amazing in red bows.” I looked at him and he laughed. “TMI Maddox?” “Yeah.” “Well then you won’t like me asking for you to message me that photo?” “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” As soon as I forward it on he was texting Emma I assume. The next was a teddy with ruffle detail, trim and rhinestones. Harper never wore anything glamorous except for prom. She didn’t need too but I would love to see her in that sexy little number. A white tulle lace baby doll with long sheer sleeves was next. It tied at the waist and was floor length. It would be the perfect bridal night attire. I would love her in a thong with garter belts. No bra and heels. Her belly would be showing by then and that was truly one of the sexiest things in the world to me. The last was a pale blue flowing sheer teddy. It was adorned in ribbons and lace-up front. Attached were matching blue garter belts. There were more. I didn’t care though. I loved the pale blue one. Dad’s phone vibrated and he looked at it and smiled and looked back at me. “You like that one huh?” “Yes. Could you possible send it on to Mom? Don’t tell her it’s for me.” “Will do but she’ll know. Red and Black are Emma’s color. Red, black, and bows.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah alright.” He parked in front of Switzerland and I started getting out. “What are you going to do the rest of the day?” I looked at him and laughed. “Weren’t we supposed to go look at land?” “Oh shit it totally slipped my mind. Get back in here boy and let’s go.”
We returned two hours later and Dad had narrowed it down to two pieces of land just down the road. We drove around a bit more and found a wooded lot with a for sale sign on it. Dad called the name on the
sign and the relator had actually met us there in fifteen minutes. We walked the land. It was thirty acres of beautiful trees and ten more in the cleared lot next to it that was also for sale. Dad asked whose land connected and the answer was a very welcome surprise. “Well Mr. Hines it’s your son’s future in-laws land. The Abraham estate is connected.” Dad shook his hand and asked that he gave him three days to talk to his wife. He promised to get back to him either way. When we got in the car Dad looked over at the realtor and motioned him over. He rolled down his window. “How much?” “They’re asking five thousand an acre. Technically its farm land.” “Call them now and ask if they’ll take four. I’d like the other lot as well.” “Give me five minutes.” He walked away and Dad rolled up the window and looked at me. “Emma gonna be upset about this?” “If she doesn’t want to build here it’s fine. Maybe you and Harper would like too. Or London and Lexington. Or all of you for that matter. If not, no one builds behind Tessa’s home. Perimeter secured.” The relator returned. “Forty five hundred an acre was his counter offer.” Dad reached across the car and opened the glove box and grabbed his check book. “One hundred and eighty thousand they pay closing costs.” “I’m sure that will be acceptable.” Dad wrote a check. “They get this after the offer is accepted. The landowners will be listed as my children. I want this to happen immediately. I will text you the legal names and tax information. You can send me the name of a local attorney who will get this done immediately.” They shook hands as Dad handed him the check and the relator walked away with a little more pep to his step. “You just laid down roots.” “In farm country.” “We’ll have to get you a tractor.” “You’ll need one as well then.” “Dad I’m gonna make that tractor sexy.” We both laughed as we pulled back onto the road. Dad cringed when he heard the mud spitting off the tires and hitting his new SUV. “We also need to get some black top down as well.” It was quiet but only for a moment. “Maddox what have you decided about your future?” “I really haven’t thought much about it. I know I’m done with Burning Souls.” “Will you join me?” “I love music but I don’t want it to make her uncomfortable. Tours can be grueling and honestly I don’t wish to be away from her or my children…when we decide to have them.” “I’m not away from Emma or you all often.” “You’re semi-retired.” “Have you checked the Billboard top artist lists at the end of the year?” “No. I was absolutely not paying any attention to that back in December or January.” “Burning Souls was number fifteen in record sales for the year.” “That’s pretty damn cool.” “The Brody Hines Band was five.” I looked at him a little shocked and he laughed.
“I am not retired Maddox. I’m selective.” “Is that what they call it?” “Hey it seems to be working for me. It would work for you as well. I have an American tour fifteen cities all scheduled around the girls school schedule this winter and spring. That works out to me being away from home for just over thirty days. Mini vacations we like to call them. All have family friendly activities near where we perform. London actually helped pick them while you were in Switzerland. This summer we have seven in Europe. That’s it. I planned to write and record in the fall and until after the holidays. Maddox, I make enough money in royalties to never work again.” “Then why do you?” “I love it. It’s part of me. I want you with me.” “I’ll have to look at Harpers schedule.” “You can go to school as well.” “Dad have you ever done benefit concerts?” “I’ve been involved in many yes.” “I’d like to plan some.” “So you’re in?” The excitement in his voice mirrored that inside of me. “I will talk to Harper. But I think if we’re also doing fundraising for the communities her family has built she would feel still connected to her father and then I wouldn’t feel as guilty as I do knowing I’ll be working with you.” He smiled and nodded. “I’m in. Whatever you want Maddox. Whatever it takes for us to all be together.” “I’m not sure what Tessa has planned now. What she’ll do with the organization.” “I’ve spoken with Tomas about it. She still wants to be involved and she still plans to travel. Our tour schedule works with her schedule. I made a promise to a man to watch over his family and I will.” “Almost perfect.” “I know son. But he’d want her to move forward in life and not live in the past.” “Do you think she ever will? She’s only what forty three or forty four.” “She needs time to grieve properly.” “I wouldn’t be able to be with anyone else. Had I lost her I would forever be alone.” “Would you want the same for Harper?” “Yes I would.” Dad laughed and it annoyed me. “I love Emma more than I the air I breathe. But she is a woman who deserves love in her life. We all do.” “I would agree that Tessa deserves to be loved.” “But not Harper?” “No. I love her enough for eternity.” “Maddox isn’t that selfish?” “Emma waited for year. For almost a year right?” “She did yes. Thank God because I would have killed the bastard and fucked her stupid.” “Jesus Dad.” “Sorry. Well obviously this is a touchy subject.” “I guess so.” I whispered. “Maddox, Collin is never coming back and she has half a lifetime to live. I hope it’s not alone.” “Me too.” “But Harper?” “No Dad. Harper would not be allowed.” Dad laughed and I found myself smiling because it was stupid to believe that.
“They would have to be damn near perfect or I’d fight to come back from heaven or hell.” “I agree. If Tessa dates we will be there to ensure he is worthy of her.” “God I feel sorry for anyone who thinks they can date the girls.” “We’ll handle them as well.” “Fuck yes we will.”
We walked into Switzerland and sat on the sofa. “How long do you plan to stay here?” “Well apparently we will be evicted come September. Deer camp.” Dad nodded. “Well you two have a lot to figure out don’t you?” “Yeah. We’ll talk tomorrow after.” I smiled. “Good. When will Harper go back to school?” “She only has to do three days a week to finish her internship. A professor she was close with is helping her out. She didn’t have to do any of it but my girl is as stubborn as the day is long.” “When she’s at school what will you do?” “Between dropping her off and picking her up…” “Does she know this yet Maddox?” “She will. Between those hours I will definitely be working out.” “Writing too?” “Yeah Dad. Yeah that’s sounds real good.” “Perfect.”
CHAPTER TWELVE Yellow and Blue
Harper We were finally in the car heading home with Emma and the girls followed behind us. London and Lexington were exhausted. They had done so well during the entire shopping experience. I couldn’t wait to see them in the dresses they had picked out. Our colors are a very pale blue and very pale yellow. Mom mentioned they were like sunshine and water. To me they were perfect for a Cape wedding. Riley had left to meet up with a boyfriend that Jade obviously didn’t approve of. At. All. “He’s seven years older than her.” “Have you met him?” Aunt Phoebe asked. “No. I’ve done a background investigation on him. He has a record! Possession, public intoxication, that kind of thing. She has to go to him all the time he never comes to her. I don’t like him and Ryan is beside himself. But when it’s brought up she threatens to move out and in with him.” “Jade, she’s a smart girl I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Mom was trying to calm her down. “I met him. He’s fucking gorgeous and built too. Blonde hair green eyes. He owns a bar Jade. He’s not rift raft.” “Thanks Ava. But I’m not impressed. He’s been arrested.” “So have Harper and me.” Ava laughed. “In NYC baby.” “Does your father know?” Jade gasped. “He does. Wasn’t impressed. He was all No Links has ever been arrested and stuff.” Jade laughed, “Wrong your father was.” “Jade.” Mom kicked her. “What? He was Tessa.” “For what?” Ava leaned enthusiastically seeking information to hang over her father’s head. “Trying to kill Tessa.” Jade roared. “Oh for fuck sake Jade!” Mom snapped. “It’s true isn’t it?” Jade laughed as she rubbed her leg where Mom had kicked her. “Oh no spill it. I need the 411!” Ava wasn’t gonna back down. “He didn’t try to kill me. I fell off the rocks by the old light house. Collin thought he pushed me which was absolutely not true. I was knocked out so I didn’t know what went down. The next morning…” “You’re wedding day.” “Thanks Jade.” Mom rolled her eyes. “Yes, well I cleared things up and he was released. No charges pressed because it was just a misunderstanding.” “Was he like trying to stop your wedding?” Ava asked. “Hell yes he was!” “Jade! Shut the hell up!” Jade laughed and Aunt Phoebe scowled at her. “He loved you?” “We were two messed up kids who played house. We would have made great friends; we are good friends. That’s all. Ancient history. I was meant to be with Collin and he was supposed to be with Ashley. Had that not happened we wouldn’t have Harper’s wedding to plan or you helping her plan it.” I noticed Ava staring at Mom a little longer than she normally would have. “I won’t bring it up. And trust me I’d love to throw it in his face. But not now. It’s probably not the best time to taunt him.” Jade looked at her funny and then Ava laughed. “I’ll save that for when I have bigger fish to fry with my Daddy.” Mom was looking out the window deep in thought and I grabbed her hand. She squeezed mine and smiled.
Ava looked between us and then down. Her head popped up and she had a very sly little smile creeping across her face. “Since we found everything today I think it’s time for me to start planning the bachelorette party.” Mom and I both laughed. “Have you seen her fiancée? That’s a party all by itself.” Jade giggled. “He certainly is.” I dug through my purse to find my phone it had been nearly six hours since I had talked to him. “Here.” Ava grabbed my phone out of her jacket and handed it to me. “You left it in the chair outside the dressing room. Don’t worry I returned his text.” I grabbed the phone and frantically looked through the messages. I swear my jaw hit my lap when I saw the pictures she sent him. She laughed and clapped. “You should see the ones I got for the shower. None of them are in the photos.” Mom grabbed my phone and started laughing as she thumbed through the text. “Ava you need a man.” Mom giggled. “I need to finish school.” Her face turned red. Yes, Ava blushed. “Two more years.” Ava groaned. I looked up at both Phoebe and Jade and then back at Ava who was shooting daggers at me and I laughed to myself. Not very often could you turn the tables on Ava but right now I guarantee she was sweating it a bit. Ava, Ava, Ava. If only Phoebe and Jade knew the two boys she has cared for are their sons. I smiled and she kicked me. Mom looked at me and then her curiously. Then her eyes widened and Ava’s jaw dropped when she realized Mom had possibly figured it out. Ava blushed again and Mom and I both laughed. She covered her face and threw herself back into the seat. “What’s going on?” Jade smiled. “Nothing.” Mom and I both said at the same time. Ava visible relaxed. She looked at mom and shrugged her shoulders.
We pulled in the driveway and Emma followed us in. Brody was at our little camp. Maddox and Brody both walked out to greet us. “Missed you.” Maddox whispered as he kissed my head and hugged me tightly. “Both of you.” I looked up and tried to smile as I yawned. He chuckled and kissed my head. “Nap for you.” “I’ll never sleep tonight.” The way he was smiling at me was amazing. I loved the way it made me feel inside and out. He loved me and he was happy. So was I. “You two about done? Come on Maddox help me out here.” Ava walked towards him with her arms full of bags. He let go and walked towards her. “Harper did you buy all this?” He asked as he took the bags from her. “No.” I laughed. “It’s Ava’s.” “Yeah. For now anyway.” She winked at him and pointed to her car. “In there please.”
Maddox shook his head and rolled his eyes as he carried all the bags to Ava’s car. Ava giggled and gave me a hug. “I’m gonna take off. I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m gonna head back home. Monday you and I head back to school.” “Are you excited?” “I will be when the two years are up and I’m a lawyer. You have what six weeks?” “I hope that’s it. I’ll know more Monday.” “And what will Maddox be doing—besides you of course?” I laughed and then two very strong arms wrapped around me from behind. He kissed my head. “Harper and I will discuss it and I’m sure she’ll report back Ava.” “Good I expect a full report very soon.” Ava waved as she walked towards her car. Maddox nuzzled into the side of my neck and let out a deep breath. “Tired?” “I am.” “Let’s nap.” “You’re really pushing that huh?” I turned and looked at him and he smirked and nodded slowly. Immediately I felt my nipples harden. Caroline came up and asked if she could take the girls to the store in town. They both agreed. Brody looked at Clive and he nodded. “You guys want to come in?” I yawned again. “For a minute then I am sure we all have things to do.” Mom smiled as she walked past me into camp. “I’ll make tea.” Maddox pulled out a chair for me and I sat. “What did you two do while we were gone?” Emma smiled at Brody. “Funny you should ask,” Brody laughed and so did Maddox. “We went for a run. Then to brunch in town…” “Harper, the waitress wanted to make sure I was aware how much you were loved here.” I laughed. “No she actually did Harper. I think she’s trying to intimidate him.” Brody chuckled. “She doesn’t know him well enough yet to understand he doesn’t intimidate easily.” I looked at Maddox whose validating smirk quickly came and left. “So Emma we found a great building lot.” “I would love to see it Brody.” Emma smiled. “Perfect let’s go now.” “I’m in no hurry. We have time right Tessa?” I knew Emma was uneasy about leaving Mom. I felt it too. “Well we do have a timeline. Harper and Maddox will be evicted from here in a few months and,” he stopped and looked at Maddox. “Well, they’ll want to be with Tessa.” Mom looked at me and I looked at Maddox whose head was hung in shame. I know I could be upset. I probably could be if it didn’t absolutely tear me apart to see him fighting the inner turmoil to be happy and feel guilty at the same time. Not only that but, Brody looked the same exact way. I grabbed the four cups of tea I had poured and set them at the table. Maddox reached out and brushed his fingers across my hand and I stepped back to grab my cup. I looked over as his eyes fought to figure out what I was thinking. This could be a fun game to play. One involving him feeling anxious and me reaping its rewards. But that’s not at all what I wanted for him. Perhaps in the past when he hurt me I had done that. It wasn’t even a conscious thought until now. But there was no reward in his pain. Not even a little. His happiness was all I wanted. Well his happiness and love. I plopped myself on his lap and he visible relaxed as his arms wrapped around my waist. His fingers toyed a bit with my belly and I knew he was in his own way communicating with our child. Our baby
growing inside of the place I knew his hands would be for the next eight months or so. This time no one would take him or her from us. No one. “Sorry.” He whispered as he nuzzled his head into my neck. “Don’t be,” I whispered back. Maddox sat back slowly and looked at me puzzled and it made me laugh. He raised his eyebrow and looked at me still trying to comprehend what I was laughing at. “Excuse us for a moment please.” Maddox stood and I grabbed his arms afraid that in his hurry he would knock me on my butt. And then he laughed at me. Set me down and took my hand. He looked at our parents, “Just for a moment.” He quickly walked to our bedroom and shut the door behind me. “It wasn’t my intention…” “You’re happy. Excited to share the news Maddox I understand.” I sat down on our bed. He started pacing and I saw a glimpse of the Maddox I fell in love with many years ago. One who didn’t believe he should be loved or could even comprehend what love was. It crushed me. I felt tears welling in my eyes. “If you’re angry…” “Maddox stop.” He looked at me and his breath left him. “Sweetness don’t cry.” He knelt before me. “I fucked up. I won’t…” I held his lips together with my fingers and smiled at him. “Then don’t be like that. Don’t go back there Maddox.” He pulled my hand away and kissed it. “You’re not easy to figure out Harper.” “I know. God I know how awful I’ve...” “Awful? No Sweetness. Not awful. Wonderful, amazing, perfect…” “I love you so much.” I leaned down and kissed him. Softy at first and then he kissed me harder as a growled escaped his chest. He pulled back hesitantly. “We have company and I want inside you so bad Sweetness.” “I want you as badly.” He stood and adjusted himself. “You’ll have to walk in front of me. And for fuck sake don’t sit on my lap or Thumper will never calm down.” I giggled. “Not funny Sweetness.” We walked back out as instructed I was Thumper’s shield. Maddox sat next to Emma and I sat across from them. I looked over at Mom and she smiled and grabbed my hand. I smiled at her and then nodded to Maddox. “Hey Mom.” He grabbed Emma’s hand and she smiled at him. I loved that even though she wasn’t his mother biologically he referred to her as such. The way she smiled when he called her Mom made me so happy. Happy that Maddox, who knew who his biological mother was, still recognized what a mother truly is. After all he had lived in his life. After all the hurt, the pain, the neglect and the abuse he had suffered, Maddox was truly remarkable in every way. Maddox was born into a true hell on earth. It was truly miraculous that he had defied the odds and the cycle of abuse. Maddox was an angel; a gift from God. My heart knew from the moment I saw him so many years ago that it needed him, wanted him, and belonged to him. It was as if his souls, a soul still
smoldering from the unfathomable burning it had endured for almost sixteen years merged with mine that very moment. I knew that’s what happened. “Sweetness?” I didn’t even know he had moved. He was on his knees in front of me wiping away my tears that I hadn’t realized I was shedding. I looked up and Mom, Emma, and Brody were all standing in front of me. All looking at me. “Are you feeling alright?” I nodded and felt my heart nearly burst when let out a breath and visibly relaxed. “I don’t want to wait Maddox.” He cocked his head and looked at me curiously. “I don’t want to wait to marry you I want to do it now. I want to wear the pretty dress and I want to walk down the aisle in the church I grew up in.” I stopped and looked at Mom. “I hope that’s alright with you- I mean if he agrees.” “He agrees.” Maddox nodded. I looked at him and felt pure joy surround my entire body. “Thank God.” He hugged me and then sat back on his heels. “Mom?” “Of course, of course Harper.” She looked truly happy. “I still want a party at the Cape this summer. I just can’t wait okay?” Maddox stood up allowing my Mom access to me. She gave me a big hug and then stepped back and smirked at Maddox. She knew he didn’t like being away from me anymore than I did him. “Good because I really didn’t like that dress. I want something that I’ll feel beautiful in when I become Mrs. Hines. Not something to cover the baby bump.” “The what?” Emma gasped. I looked back at Maddox and he smiled and looked at the ground. “I thought you had told her—just now I thought…” “Doesn’t matter.” Maddox laughed and kissed my head. He looked over at Emma. “Hey Mom! Harper is pregnant. We have an appointment tomorrow to confirm.” Emma burst into tears and hugged him. Then she hugged me and Mom. I watched her look to Brody and he held his hand out, took hers, and pulled her into his embrace. Emma looked up at Body. “You knew.” “I slipped up Mom. Sorry but when we were talking I just—” “You wanted him to know Maddox. I’m glad you shared with me too. What a blessing. Congratulations to both of you.” “And to all of us.” Brody laughed loudly. “Grandpa.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Acceptance
Maddox Everyone seemed to be pretty emotional including myself. An almost overwhelming joy passed through the room. Harper couldn’t stop smiling. In her smile was a promise. One from her to me and then from me to her. Her promise was that she was ready to be my wife; the mother of my children, to love me regardless of what I had lived or done. My promise was that this moment, right now, would never pass. I would forever keep that smile on her face. Make her my queen and hold her heart as adroitly as I could from now until forever. Harper yawned and smiled at her mom. Tessa looked so pleased. Almost like a breath of life had been blown back into her. Her baby was going to be a mother. How must that feel? I can’t say that Dad felt the same. I was never his baby because I was never anyone’s baby. I did know that watching how Emma and Brody parented not only London but myself, as well as Lexington, that I was well prepared to be a damn good father regardless. But right now I was going to take care of Harper, my sweetness. “She’s tired.” I looked around and they all seemed to agree. We all said our goodbyes and exchanged more congratulatory hugs. Harper looked over at me and smiled. That same smile as before, the one I would work forever to keep on her beautiful face. “I am such a lucky man.” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud but I’m glad I did. Harper wrapped her arms around my neck and I bent to kiss her sweet lips. “And I’m a lucky girl.” She arched her back closing the gap between our bodies and let out a breath as she nuzzled her head into my neck. She smelled amazing. She always has.. I would describe it as if the wind lightly blew in a garden of roses; the smell that it would give off was Harper’s natural scent. A light fragrant rose with a touch of fresh clean country air. I would never get enough of her scent. It was home to me. I inhaled deeply and she hummed as she nuzzled closer. I stood with my arms wrapped around her, smelling her hair while rubbing my nose and lips across the top of her head. Her body relaxed against mine. I felt more relaxed than I had in months. I wasn’t sure what had happened to make me feel that way but there was a calmness settling inside of me. I could never get close enough to her before unless our bodies were connected completely, and normally that wasn’t enough to curb my need. Until right now. “You are mine.” She nodded against me. It struck me in that moment that all the fear and angst I had let consume me for years, had just moments ago been diminished. Harper’s acceptance of my love while in Switzerland lessened that burn. Harper saying yes to my proposal of marriage reduced it even further, so that the burn was just smoldering ashes of the intensity of the inferno burning within me, from as far back in my life that I could remember. The events of today—Harper not being anxious about being pregnant and wanting to marry me, to become my wife sooner than planned, was lucky rain falling upon those ashes. Extinguishing years of pain, selfloathing, self-doubt, and hatred. I realized the man I could be months ago. It was a faint picture in my mind, but right now in this moment in time, the picture was crystal clear. Gone were the fire, the ashes, and the smoke. In this moment with my Harper, my Sweetness, swathed in my arms, my future was clear and untarnished by the past. It’s evidence gone and before me was a future filled with love, hope, and insurmountable happiness. I looked down at the other half of my soul and smiled. She looked up at me and smiled back.
“Do you have any idea how happy I am going to make you for the rest of time?” “I do.” She smiled and yawned. “Tired Sweetness?” “Yes but this is nice.” “Let’s go nap. You’ve had a busy day.” “Let’s.”
I laid down next to her and she rolled to her side and smiled. “I’m really tired but I wanna talk about your day. Your Dad bought land?” “He did. It connects to your family’s…” “Our families,” She bit her lower lip and smiled. “Our families.” “What else did you do?” “Went for a run…” “A run?” “Yeah with Dad.” She yawned again and smiled. “We talked about your finishing up school and what I would be doing.” “You did?” “Yes. I will be taking you to school and picking you up of course.” I waited for her to argue but to my surprise she didn’t. She nodded. “How do you feel about me becoming part of his band?” “Is that what you want?” “When he and I talked about it Harper, it made perfect sense. I think it would be flexible enough a schedule that we would be able to be together at all times. The majority of his concerts are centered on the girl’s school year. It could be the same with us.” “You’re alright with not going back to school yourself?” I wasn’t sure if that would serve as a disappointment to her but I was sure. “Yes. But if you have any objections Harper, I want to hear them.” I took her hand and held it against my heart and she smiled. “It only beats like this for me Maddox…” “Of course.” “And when you’re about to go on stage.” She smiled and flattened her hand against my chest and I felt its beat accelerate. “More for you.” “You love singing…” “I love writing more.” She giggled, “You love to perform.” “On stage, I enjoy performing. But my favorite performances are given to a crowd of one.” “That caused a crowd of two.” We both laughed and I pulled her closer against me. “That will continue to cause more to join this crowd.” “More? How many?” “A dozen maybe two dozen.” “I hope you’re talking in orgasms because…”
I planted my mouth firmly over hers and she giggled as I kissed her over and over again. When she started laughing I stopped kissing her to watch. It was beautiful to see her this happy. “I don’t remember the last time I saw you smile like this and laugh like there was nothing holding you back.” Her face fell and I immediately wished I could force the words back. “Sweetness I didn’t….” “Maddox I got wasted in New York.” Fear took over her eyes and I knew exactly what she was thinking. “Sweetness the baby is fine.” “How do you know Maddox? What if I caused …” “I’ve read a lot. The baby will be fine. Our baby is fine.” I held my hand over her stomach and slowly rubbed it. “Stress is more harmful at this stage in a pregnancy than one night having drunk five or six drinks Harper.” “Surly I had more than that.” “No Sweetness. You didn’t.” “You counted?” “I did. I also think the reason you got sick and were so moody…” “Maddox Hines!” “You have to admit it.” She shook her head from side to side as if she was disagreeing with me and held her head against my chest. “You’re sure?” “Positive.” The brief silence was interrupted by a yawn and then she scooted closer. Acceptance. “Sleep now Sweetness.”
Harper drifted off into dreamland in my arms where I wanted her forever. I didn’t want to let go but desperately needed to take a piss. After draining my bladder I walked back into the bedroom and looked at her lying peacefully. Harper is, and would be, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. Her face was a masterpiece. A flawless piece that only God alone could have created. God. Once an antagonist to me could never be more real for a girl like Harper. A girl who had people who loved her from conception throughout her life. Tessa and Collin Abraham were given an angel. They cherished, nurtured, loved and protected her all of her life. Then she met me. God was not her enemy, he was her creator. I had been Harper’s antagonist for many years. I was the one who hurt her. A deeper hurt than she had ever known in her life. Yet she was laying here in a sweet slumber. She fell asleep in my arms; her eyes sparkled for me. Her lips were mine. Her body was mine. Her soul was mine. I thought back to when I had read the Bible as a younger person. When my angst for him began. I knew then I was not worthy. I knew that I was not one of his chosen people… like Harper. When I looked at her now; when I finally allowed myself to feel and receive her love, it was then I finally realized I was in fact chosen. The feeling coming over me was overwhelming. The burn in my chest making its way to my throat and now heating behind my eyes was one of realization. I was in fact chosen. Needing to be closer to her, as always, I sat on the bed as I felt a tear fall.
Her eyes blinked and then opened. I wasn’t able to look away fast enough and she looked scared. “Maddox I…” I kissed her, stopping her from talking. Her hands cupped my face and she pulled away. “Talk to me.” I kissed her neck and pulled her up so that she was on my lap. “I love you more every day Harper.” “Maddox.” Her hands held my head and she pulled me back gently. The look of concern evident. “Sweetness.” I kissed her again. I kissed her check and moved across to her lips. “I need you now.” “I need you always.” Her hands found my hair. As she tugged gently at my hair she leaned her head back. Her breaths came quicker now. I looked up briefly, needing to know she was here with me, not just accepting but wanting. I received a faint moan as my hand drifted up under her shirt. Acceptance again. “You are so beautiful Sweetness.” I lifted her shirt and her arms rose above her head. Acceptance. Her shirt was off. I pulled her white lace bra down and her plump breasts fell slightly. I wetted my lips and dragged them across her nipples back and forth until I felt them stiffen. I peered up again and she was biting her bottom lip, her eyes laden with lust for me. She arched her back up, asking me with her body for more. My tongue dragged slowly, lazily, across her taut red nipple and she whimpered. I circled it and she pushed into me farther. I continued slow heavy licks, stopping and moving to her left breast to do the same. I reached behind her and unsnapped her bra. Harper pulled up my shirt and I lifted my arms so that as soon as it was removed as I pulled her bra straps down her arms. As soon as they were free she grabbed ahold of me and I her. That brief moment we were not touching was as torturous for her as it was for me. I grabbed the back of her head and held it against mine as I laid her down on her back. I sat back and looked at her blond hair fanned across the pillow. Her blue eyes full of need, her swollen lips as she licked them. “Maddox.” “You are mine.” “Then take me.” She reached up to pull me down. I held her arms and leaned forward pinning them down. “You are mine Harper.” She nodded and looked at me, confusion taking over lust and need. “God made me for you. He made you for me…” “Maddox…” “Sweetness listen to me. God doesn’t hate me…” “Of course he doesn’t Maddox…” “No, he gave me you.” “Okay.” “He made the Egyptians walk around for forty years in a fucking desert Harper…” “So you know now that he loves you.” “If he gave me you I absolutely do.” “And that’s why you were…” “Upset.” I didn’t want to hear her say I was crying. I was a man. Her man. “Maddox?” “What is it Sweetness?” I leaned down and sucked on one of her nipples and she gasped. “You can’t have a come to Jesus moment when you’re about to screw your pregnant unwed girlfriend.
It messes with me.” I tried not to smile, I really did but I couldn’t stop it. Harper freed her hands and smacked me in the stomach. Then she pushed me over on my back and mounted me. “You can’t wake me up needing me either unless you’re going to do something about it.” I laughed again, “Sweetness I was working on it.” “Not fast enough.” I flipped her on her back and pinned her hands above her head and she smiled and bit her lip again. “You ready to be had Sweetness?” She nodded her head. As soon as I released her hands she was shoving my pants down. “Easy Sweetness. Put your hands above your head and let me take care of you. Can you do that?” “Yes.” I grabbed her pants and pulled them down as she lifted her hips helping me. “Harper, I got this, you just lay back and let me touch you Sweetness. I need to touch you.” Gone was the confusion and the amusement. The look in her eyes now was what drove me out of my mind with need. I moved up to her lips and kissed them lightly. She pressed her lips to mine harder. I moved back and she grabbed me again. “Sweetness just let me love you.” “I’m trying.” She grabbed ahold of my hair again and pulled me down. I chuckled and she pulled my hair tighter. “Not funny Maddox.” “I’m not joking—and I really want to. I should tie you up.” “Either that or….” Fuck! I wasn’t joking around. “I’m gonna tie you up.” She looked at me and nodded. I looked around the room quickly to find something—anything to bind her hands with. “Give me two seconds Sweetness. If you move I’ll—paddle your ass.” “You’re pushing it.” “I’m gonna push it, suck it, fuck it, and bite it Sweetness. You just opened a can of worms. Stay put.” I walked around the camp trying to find my belt when the door opened. “Dad?” I tried to cover myself a bit and he looked up avoiding the sight of Thumper straining against my pants. “Sorry, the umm—the bag. Emma said she thinks she left it here?” I had no clue what the fuck he was talking about “More specific, please.” Fuck I was uncomfortable! Could this get any worse? “Maddox two seconds is up! Either get in here and tie me up or…” “Harper one damn minute!” Dad’s immediate reaction was shock, then his eyes danced and he was trying his damndest not to laugh. “Look in the car?” “Will do—son.” “Okay this is bad enough…” “Suggestion?” “No.” “Get a gag.” Dad chuckled as he closed the door quietly behind him. I grabbed my belt that was lying across the chair and hurried into the bedroom.
Harper was pissed. “Sweetness I didn’t mean to…” “You yelled at me.” She started to sit and I stopped her. “To stop you from talking. Dad was here.” “HE WHAT?” She darted up and I held her still. “Did he hear me?” “Lay back down. He’s gone.” “Did. He. Hear. Me?” “Can I tie you up before I answer that?” “Oh God he did.” She covered her face and tried to hide her embarrassment. “He wasn’t upset about it.” “Seriously Maddox.” “Come on don’t let that stop this. I want you so fucking bad like that Harper.” She pulled away and I stood up. Frustrated. I dropped my pants and faced her. I watched her look at my dick and then quickly up as she blew her hair out of her face. “Look at me Sweetness.” She looked back at me and I grabbed ahold of myself and stroked back and forth a few times. She swallowed hard. “See something you like Harper?” “Yes Maddox but…” “No buts. Yes or no.” “Of course I see…” “Yes. Or. No.” She nodded. “You’re perfect.” “I’m glad you like what you see. Now answer me this Sweetness,” I said as I continued stroking myself and walking towards her slowly. “Do you like how I make you feel when I suck your tits and lick your sweet pussy?” She reached for me and I stepped back. “I’m going to tie you up. I’m going to feast on your body. You’re going to cum for me—several times, then I’m going to fuck you good Sweetness.” I let go of my dick and walked up to her and took her hands and held them over her head and laid her back down. She allowed me to tie her hands to the head board. “I’m going to do you so good Sweetness.” “I know.” “Good. Now lay there and let me love you.” “Please.” “Lay back and relax.” I grabbed her favorite body lotion off her nightstand and warmed it between my hands and sat at the end of the bed. I took her foot and massaged the lotion slowly into her foot and up to her knees. I moved to the next and looked up at her. “Spread your legs Sweetness.” “Maddox…” “Come on Harper, I want to see what I’m about to eat.” She laid her head back and let out a sharp breath. It took her a few seconds but she finally opened her
legs for me. “Beautiful Sweetness. Absolutely beautiful.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Harper I don’t know why it made me uncomfortable to be like this. Hands tied and legs spread out before Maddox but it did for a moment. I looked down at Maddox as he now rubbed lotion up from my knees to just below outside of my pubic area. I held my breath as I watched his eyes as they remain fixed at the completely exposed flesh. He licked his lips and bent to kiss me. My head fell back when he sucked on my inner thigh. “Maddox,” I whimpered unable to hold it in. I looked down when his mouth left my body and his eyes captured mine. He blew a slow cold breath against my burning flesh and then ran his nose slowly across my lips. My hips rose about even though I tried to restrain myself. “Greedy Sweetness.” He ran his lips across them and I had to hold on to the headboard that I was tied to. He looked up and me and groaned. I felt my legs tense and try to close just to stop the burn. Take off the edge. The way his eyes still watching me as he very slowly ran his tongue up and down the outside of my opening. “You taste so fucking good.” His tongue now ran slowly up and down my slit dipping inside me with each pass and his teeth barred every time. “I’m gonna fuck you with my tongue Sweetness.” He licked around slowly avoiding my clit completely. “Please Maddox.” As soon as the words left my mouth he covered me completely with his lips. His tongue lapped at me and he sucked harshly on me. My knees started to move together and he forced them open and he pulled them even further apart as he continued eating me. Growling and pushing against me harder as if he couldn’t possibly get enough. He pulled my legs apart even more and his tongue dipped lower and hit my back opening and I gasped. He did it again even harder. He was savagely going down on me and I was lost in the sensation, overcome with pleasure until I felt my body hum, my muscles clench and I was fighting to stay with him. He reached beneath me as he crawled up closer to me. “Fuck!” He roared as he lifted me so my ass no longer touched the bed. He threw my legs over his shoulders and his tongue; his wonderful, skillful, pleasure giving tongue plunged deeper inside of me. His hands kneaded into my butt and then when I couldn’t bear it anymore I began to beg. “Maddox please,” I panted over and over. His tongue swept upward hitting my g-spot as this thumb glided across my rear opening further giving me pleasure. “Too much Maddox!” I screamed out bucking violently against his face as he continued the sweet torture of pleasuring my body. My release finally came and I slowly began to come down from my high. Maddox lowered my body and then sucked on my clit, bringing me back into the frenzied stupor I had just begun being released from. “Oh Maddox!” I cried out as I came a second time. Back to back orgasms. The quakes from the first were still coursing through my body as the waves from the second rippled through me.
He lowered me as I relaxed. “I can’t hold back Sweetness.” He pushed harshly into me and stilled as he yelled curses and praises to me. “So fucking great.” He pulled out and slammed into me again and stopped. “Sweetness you gonna come with me?” “I don’t think I can.” He slammed into me again and roared. “You fucking will.” His jaw clenched and he moved in and out of me. Hard, slow thrusts deep in and then out. He held my leg with one hand as he sucked, kissed, and licked up and down it. His other hand pinched and pulled at my nipples. His face showed determination and restraint. I had no idea how he could hold back so long. I certainly couldn’t. He pushed deep inside of me taking my breath away. “Give it to me again Sweetness. I wanna feel your tight little pussy squeeze against my cock like it did my tongue.” Desire built quickly. And I felt my muscles contract. His mouth fell opened and his thrust came faster. “You’re there Sweetness. Fuck your strangling me. Give it to me!” I came and he lowered my leg and held himself over me as he sucked fiercely on my nipple until he finally let go yelling my name against my breast. Normally he would lay on me as he caught his breath. This time he pulled out and cupped me in his hand gently squeezing my still pulsing mound. “Fuck that was amazing.” He kissed me. “Always so amazing.” “Maddox.” I pulled against the headboard and he looked up. “I don’t know if I should let you go.” He grinned a lazy grin and kissed my neck. “You better or I’ll scream.” He looked up and laughed. “Awe that’s why Dad suggested the gag.” “What?” He reached up and undid the belt as he laughed and kissed me again. “Nothing Sweetness.” “No, it’s not nothing.” “When you yelled at me? Right before he left he suggested a gag.” He sat and pulled me up unwinding my hands. “You think that’s funny?” “Not funny, practical I guess…” I pushed him back as he tried to kiss me again and he laughed. “How funny is it when you think that he probably does that with Emma?” A disgusted look replaced the smugness and I laughed. He was quiet for a moment and I stood up and walked out to use the bathroom. When I returned he was making the bed up. He held back the covers for me and I climbed in. “Are you alright?” “Of course I’m alright. I was just joking Maddox. Don’t get all weird on me please.” “I’m going to get us a drink and then we need to chat.” He kissed my head and walked away. I had no idea what he was thinking and felt bad that I may have hurt his feelings. When he returned he sat next to me and handed me a glass of milk. “If you want it warmed I can do that for you.”
He held my hand and watched me cautiously. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “Was I too rough on you?” “No it was great, wonderful, perfect actually.” He nodded and took another deep breath. “I can’t think about Emma that way.” “She’s your mother of course you can’t. I was joking. If it bothers you I won’t do it again.” “No Harper, that’s not it. My child doesn’t need to think of me that way either.” “Maddox hold up…” “No listen. Ten minutes ago I was talking about,” He stopped and whispered. “Fucking your tight little pussy and demanding you cum.” My jaw dropped. “See it’s vulgar and I will not have our child…” I started laughing. “It really isn’t that funny.” “Maddox we were having sex.” “I can make love to you. I don’t have to be vulgar and…” “Or you can fuck me and continue ….” “Harper, it’s not necessary. I adore you and I know you love me. I am not out trying to prove a point to you or anyone else anymore. You are mine I will treat you like the treasure you are to me, end of discussion.” He was being very serious. I wanted to laugh but it would probably hurt his feelings. He very sweetly wrapped his arms around me, laid down and held me even closer. “I love you Harper.” “I love you Maddox.”
I woke to the light coming in the window and Maddox was asleep peacefully next to me. I tried to move my head and realized quickly that his hand was tangled in my hair. I reached up and gently pried my hair out of his hand slowly so I didn’t wake him. I stood up and my stomach immediately turned. I ran into the bathroom and made in just in time. I threw up several times and sat back just as Maddox skid across the floor. “You alright?” He squatted down next to me and pulled my hair back away from my face and handed me a towel. I nodded and my stomach learched again but nothing came up. “This is not good.” He stood and left the room returning with a glass of water. “Drink this.” “Not yet.” “Tell me what I can do?” “Nothing Maddox this is all part of it.” “For how fuc…” He stopped and closed his eyes. “How long should I expect this to happen?” I looked up at his crazed expression and took the glass of water. His free hand covered his heart and I laughed and took a drink. “This is not fuc…Harper this isn’t funny.” “A few weeks.”
“You’re going to be vomiting and feel like this for a few weeks?” “Yes.” I finished the water and started to stand. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me up to quickly. I pulled away and threw up again. “Dear God what have I done to you?” “Well it started with a hot night of sex.” I sat back and smiled. I took the towel and wiped my mouth. I couldn’t look up at him because I knew by him not responding he was probably half out of his mind and if I saw that expression I would certainly loose it. “Then I missed a few pills. You came inside of my…” “Harper.” His tone was filled warning and I laughed. I looked up and saw sadness and concern. “I’m fine.” I raised my hand and he took it. “Slowly.” He pulled me up and hugged me. “Sweetness I am so sorry.” “I’m not.” I stepped back and looked at him. “I’m not sorry Maddox, not one bit. It happens when women get pregnant. It’s very normal.” “I just thought…” “You thought what?” “I don’t know what I thought but I do know I would have never expected this…you.” He stopped and looked at me. “I would trade places with you if I could Harper, I hope you know that.” “I do Maddox. I’m glad it’s me though. I’m going to enjoy this throwing up thing. The nausea, the constipation, the exhaustion, the cravings, all of it.” “How will you enjoy it Harper? Feeling like shi…garbage.” I laughed at him trying to rein in the curses as I walked out of the bathroom and he followed. “I’m also going to learn to appreciate my rockstar turning into Mr. Rogers.” “Who? What’s that supposed to mean?” He opened the refrigerator and then slammed it. “We have nothing of nutritional value in there. We eat like shit!” “Or not?” I whispered. “Not what?” “Not Mr. Rogers. He would never say that.” Maddox looked at me and tilted his head and ran his hands through his hair deep in thought. “Who?” “Never mind.” “Harper are you confused? You’re not making any sense to me. Come sit please.” I walked over, completely amused and sat. “Sweetness just relax.” He leaned to kiss me and I leaned back. “Hormones?” “No vomit. I am fine; I’m going to shower.” I waited for him to respond and he didn’t. So I walked in the bathroom, alone. I brushed my teeth listening to Maddox sputter. His accent was always thicker when he wasn’t thinking about what he was going to say next. When he was angry it was heavier yet. I loved it. I loved that he was out of his element and more concerned about becoming a father now than even before. I knew it was because last time it was a shock. He was more concerned with gaining my love back. Little did he know then that he never lost it. He popped his head in as I was undressing and then looked away quickly shocking me. “Harper I am going to run to town to pick up something decent for you to eat.” I watched him looking at the ceiling and flung my underwear at him.
They hit him in the face and he looked at me and then away. I laughed, “Maddox are you alright?” “Yes…yes. I am just umm.” He stopped turned his back. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” “There is food here. We can go after our appointment.” “Is that what you want?” He yelled from the kitchen. “Yeah. We need a few things. I want to get some food that I can take for lunches to school next week.” He wouldn’t look at me. Not even for a second. “Alright then you should shower.” “You could join me.” He stopped and then bent back down looking into the refrigerator. “No go ahead.”
We pulled into the doctor’s office after the thirty minutes of awkward silence interrupted by awkward conversation. I started to get out. “Wait. Just sit still.” Maddox jumped out and walked around the Jeep and opened my door and held out his hand for me. “Thank you.” I took his hand and stepped out. He put his arm around me and placed his hand on my back as we walked into the entry of the doctor’s office. After checking in we sat and waited to be called. He held my hand and tapped his foot nervously the entire time. Once called in I was sent to the bathroom to pee in a cup. When I finished and came out Maddox was thanking a very friendly nurse who gave him pad of paper and a pen. I watched him smile and then look towards me and his face tensed again. I rolled my eyes as I walked past him and followed the nurse into the exam room. Maddox sat and wrote on that note pad until the doctor walked in. He stood and shook his hand. “Nice to see you both again.” Dr. James sat and rolled his chair up next to Maddox and I. “So you think you may be pregnant again?” “We do. I would like to ask a few questions if you don’t mind.” “Go ahead Maddox ask away.” Maddox seemed to be concerned with the fact that I had in fact been on the pill for a month previously and that even though I had only missed a weeks’ worth of pills I was pregnant. Apparently he found thing online that said it was possible but that he still didn’t understand. “Your body thinks it’s pregnant while you’re on the pill. That’s why it is such a highly effective form of birth control. When you stop and then menstruation accrues your body knows it in fact…” I sat back and crossed my arms as they went back and forth. I wasn’t listening anymore. It was something I learned in seventh grade health class. Maddox however, never had. “Harper?” I looked over at them after he repeated my name. “See this is what’s been happening. She seems so—off.” The doctor laughed and patted him knee. “That happens during pregnancy.” I was off? I was off! Oh man he was in for it. The knock at the door interrupted their conversation. The nurse smiled as she handed Dr. James the chart. Dr. James opened it and smiled. “Congratulations.”
Maddox let out a deep breath. He continued asking questions and writing things down. They didn’t stop chatting even when the nurse came in to draw blood. Maddox did stand next to me and held my hand while the blood was drawn. But as soon as the nurse left, he continued asking those questions and writing everything down. Very cute, very intense, very… Maddox. The doctor scheduled an appointment for an internal exam in two weeks. I did not ask one single question at the appointment. Not one.
I gave Maddox directions to the supermarket and he nodded. He didn’t say anything and I could tell he was lost in his head. He again darted out the door and was standing there when I went to get out. He held his hand out for me. He pulled a cap out of his pocket, let go of my hand and pulled it down so the brim covered his face. “They’ll still know it’s you.” “Should I grab my sun glasses?” “No Maddox. They’re going to know that the six foot two hottie trying to hide is Maddox Hines. The lead singer of Burning Souls. Talented man and regardless of how much he tries to hide,” I pulled his hat off. “He is still sexy as all hell.” “They’ll always think of me like that. Like,” He let out a shamed breath and shook his head from side to side. “Like what Maddox?” He didn’t answer and continued walking into the store. When we walked in I wrapped my arm around his waist and rested my thumb inside his waist band. He stiffened and took my hand in his. We didn’t talk all that much. He grabbed fruits and vegetables and all organic. He read labels and placed items into the cart as I followed him. We walked by the bakery and I stopped and grabbed a box to fill with all the goodies I was now just about drooling over. When I was satisfied I looked up at his wide obviously disturbed eyes. “There are healthier alternatives to all of that.” I rolled my eyes and set the box into the cart. We walked quietly around the store until the cart was completely full. It was a bit much. Quite a bit much. After the checkout girl flirted with him and he didn’t reciprocate with even a smile we drove home again in silence.
When all the groceries were all put away I was tired. “Take a nap. You look exhausted Harper.” “I’ll be tired for eight more weeks. I still have to function.” “Not for three more days you don’t. Rest, I will make lunch when you wake up and then we’ll eat.” I grabbed an éclair out of the box on the counter and he huffed. I looked at him and took a big bit and then some of the filling dripped onto my chin, I laughed. I licked to see if I could catch it and Maddox looked away and quickly scampered into the bathroom. I knew immediately where my Maddox had been going to when he was lost inside himself for the past
twelve plus hours. It was so cute. Maybe a bit annoying but oh well. Regardless I loved that boy and would not let him beat himself up anymore. We had decided to move forward and I would be damned if we didn’t. I was tired. And Maddox was right I should rest. He walked out of the bathroom as I was peeling a banana. I saw him look at me as I was taking the first bite. His eyes did a little dance and then he stopped and looked away. I stood up and walked right in front of him. I took a very large bite, almost gagging me and chewed slowly. His mouth dropped a little and then he clenched his jaw and looked away. “You wanna bite Maddox?” “No…no thank you. You ready to nap?” He scooted away and I followed him into the bedroom. “Will you join me?” I pulled my sweater over my head and he scowled. “No. I’m going to make you a healthy lunch for you.” “Banana is healthy. I just ate a banana Maddox.” “I’m very well aware of that thank you Harper. Now get in bed and sleep please.” When I didn’t move he pleaded, “Please.” I laid down and as he tucked me in I pulled his arm so he was nose to nose with me. I leaned up and kissed him and he let out a very very faint groan. “Rest with me.” “Harper I am going to make lunch…” “When you’re done you could come in and…” “When I am done I will rest with you.” He patted my head and walked away. Patted my head like a puppy. I may have been annoyed by this before and being pregnant I may be annoyed by this when I wake up but I think I know what he’s fighting inside and right now I need to let him figure it out. When I woke I walked out into the kitchen area. Mom was sitting next to the fire. “Come sit.” She patted the spot next to her. I sat down and hugged her. She held me tight, a little tighter than usual. “You alright Mom?” “I am wonderful. Maddox told me that you are definitely pregnant.” “Yep, suspicions confirmed. Where is he by the way?” “He meaning the very nervous father to be?” “Yes Mom it was like a flip switched last night.” “What brought it on?” I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even look at her. Mom laughed and so did I. “Men change when they know something’s growing in your belly. They become-- softer.” “Dad?” “No not Dad. He asked a lot of questions about sex during pregnancy. When I was pregnant for you I was on bed rest. Your father made sure I stayed in bed and that the hour I was allowed to be active was his hour.” She was smiling, I loved her smile. “Then…” I stopped because I knew exactly who she was referring to. “Lucas.” She looked down and nodded. “Your father was older, a doctor. He became more gentle as well but once he had thoroughly researched it all it was, well the same again.” The door opened and Maddox walked in.
Mom stood up and hugged me. “I will leave you two alone.” “Stay for lunch.” Maddox barked. I had to bite back a laugh. Maddox clearly was going through some things. He looked between Mom and I. “At least stay while I shower so she doesn’t have to be alone please.” Maddox stormed through the room and into the bathroom. Mom and I giggled. “He’s afraid you’ll attack him in the shower?” “He is.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Adjusting
Maddox When I came out of the bathroom Tessa and Harper were setting the small corner table. Having forgotten my clothes I walked past them quickly in a towel. I was in the bedroom dressing when I heard them giggle. I threw on my navy Hollister sweatpants and a long sleeved tee shirt. I really needed some new clothes; a more mature look. I walked out and they were sitting at the table waiting. “Chicken looks good right?” I sat next to my future mother in law and noticed watching Harper. “Let me grab the salad.” I came back and Harper was cutting up the chicken and looking a bit flush. “You alright?” I sat the salad next to her and smiled. “You alright Harper?” Tessa leaned over and rubbed her hand. She shook her head yes and took a small fork full of the chicken and put it in her mouth. I took a bite. It was absolutely delicious. I looked to see if Tessa appeared to like it and she looked pleased. Harper did not look pleased, she looked a very unattractive shade of green. She stood and walked into the bathroom and I heard her throw up. “Fuck!” I walked in and grabbed her hair and held it back as she sat resting her arm over the seat with her head resting on it. I sat behind her with a towel. The same way I had sat behind her for two mornings and now even in the afternoon. “Here you go Harper.” “Thanks.” She wiped her face and sat back against me. She reached behind her and grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her waist and I tensed. “Please stop with that.” “With what?” “Acting like that. Acting cold.” “I’m not cold I’m simply… adjusting.” “Adjusting?” “Yes. Adjusting.” She sat silently for a moment and then stood and turned as I stood up. She walked to the sink and brushed her teeth. I waited till she finished and then walked out when I knew she was behind me. Tessa was cleaning up her plate and Harpers. “Salad sound alright?” Harper shook her head no and walked over and grabbed another one of those damn donuts and took a big obnoxious bite. I was about ready to say something when Tessa smiled at her, “Whatever stays down for now. Did you get the prenatal vitamins?” Harper looked at me and I looked at her. Both of us clearly shocked that neither of us remembered. “Damn it.” I started walking towards the door and Tessa stopped me. “Drug store in town?” “Yes Mom, but I would actually like to go and grab them myself.” Harper started walking towards the door and I stepped in front of her. “I’ll drive you.”
“No Maddox you stay here and…adjust. I would love fifteen minutes to myself.” I went to follow her and Tessa held up her hand to stop me. “Maddox remember she…” “Yes I remember but who will go with her? She certainly can’t go alone.” “I will.” “Fine, but Tomas…” “Maddox I’ll go.” I watched them pullout the driveway and felt that tightening in my chest. I hated it. I hated that she was still the better person; that I couldn’t tell her what I was feeling and thinking right now because I didn’t want to upset her. I hated that there was still a part of me that I didn’t understand and that part of me was dark.
They weren’t gone long only twenty minutes but it seemed like forever. When Harper came in she started to unload the bag. I went over to help her. She smiled but the concern in her eyes was crippling. I took her hand and held it to my chest. I wanted her to know that she was now and always would be the reason my heart beat. “Talk to me.” She whispered. “When I can figure out how, I will.” “Are you scared Maddox? About the baby?” “Nothing makes me happier and terrifies me at the same time.” “What can I do?” “Keep being you.” I held her face and then rested my head against hers. “Let me figure it out.” “I’ll give you whatever you need Maddox but you have to remember it’s you and I together in this. I’m not angry, just concerned that you won’t let me help with whatever is going on.” “Just give me time.” “I will but you have to do the same for me.” I stepped back and looked at her. “What does that mean?” She took some more things out of the bag. “Harper what does that mean?” I knew I was pushing but I needed to know. “It means that when I am terrified or worried or confused you do the same for me. Let me hold it all inside until I have figured it out myself.” “I don’t want that. I want you to be…” She sealed my lips with her hand and smiled. “I don’t either but I won’t fight with you about it. I will only say that what’s good for you is good for me.” “Harper…” “I got the prenatal vitamins, calcium chews, extra iron, and lots and lots of crackers.” She was changing the subject. She was done with the conversation and I should have been grateful, but I wasn’t. My blood was boiling and my heart racing faster than ever. “You wanna watch a movie?” “A movie?” I knew it came out mocking and I hadn’t intended it to but I didn’t want to watch a movie, fuck that. So she could be all snuggled up against me when I was trying to be a better man for her. Her shoulders slumped in and she looked away. “I’m gonna go down to the house and see what they’re up to.”
“Why?” “Because Maddox.” “I’ll come too.” “No I’m fine.” “Maybe I want to come.” Pissy again, I was going to fuck this up. She walked past me and into the bedroom and laid down. I watched her roll to her side and hug the blanket up close to her face. I walked over and sat in front of the fire trying to figure out how I could explain what I was feeling heard her sniff and knew I had made her cry. I walked into the bedroom and knelt on the floor next to her. She jumped when I touched her. “Can I lay with you?” She rolled over her back to me and scooted over giving me room. I laid behind her and smelled her hair. I loved the smell of her. I wrapped my arm around her and rubbed her hand. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head no. “I am Harper. I’m sorry that I can’t talk about this yet. I’m sorry that…” “Is it us? Is it me, the baby, are you…” “It’s me. Not you. Not our child. Not us. It’s me.” “Is there a difference?” “I don’t understand what you’re asking Harper.” She didn’t respond and I wasn’t going to push. “I promise you I will talk to you, when I can figure out how.” Harper sat up and looked at me. “No.” “No? No what?” “Talk. To. Me.” “You’ll think less of me.” She looked at me like I was out of my damn mind and maybe I was but I certainly wasn’t going to give her confirmation. “How? How could I possible think less of you Maddox? I love you, I always have and I always will. I don’t understand. I know it had something to do with last night; I know you won’t touch me or look at me. I know you’re keeping a distance from me and that it isn’t just physical space but emotional; I know I want to give you the time you need to deal with whatever it is your dealing with. I also know that if this is how you’re going to act when you’re struggling with something that makes you feel I will think less of you than I’m going to feel that way too. We, Maddox, we have to be more than that. I need us to be and so do you. So just --figure it out. But do so knowing I am marrying the boy who I want it all with because from the moment I saw him I knew I could never stop loving him. Not ever.” She started to stand and I held her hand stopping her. “Please Sweet...Harper.” “I love you Maddox. I’m not feeling well. I’m tired. I’m growing our baby in my belly right now and this…this…thing is messing with me. So please figure it out.” “I’m not telling you because I don’t want to stress you Harper. I’m not doing it to cause issues.” “It’s having the opposite effect.” She slowly pulled her hand from mine. “I’m going to watch a movie. A happy movie.” “Because I’m causing you unhappiness.”
She walked out of the room and left me with my inner demons. My inner battle, that if I were honest with myself, I had been fighting since I was found by my father. I walked out and she was cozied up on the couch wrapped in a thick quilt she had made with her grandmother when she was ten. Her favorite blanket. I knew this because like everything Harper told me I remembered. She was that important, she is everything to me. “May I?” I pointed to the couch and she lifted the blanket for me to sit with her. “What are we watching?” “The Notebook.” “Chick flick?” “Love story.” “I don’t want our children to think the things about me that I did about my father.” And there you have it. That was it in a nutshell. I loved my father. But I knew everything about him. So did everyone around the world. She looked at me waiting for me to continue. “When I saw the news. The sex tapes. I was disgusted. The things he did reminded me of the pig that – for lack of better words, who raised me.” Harper held my hand and rested her head on my shoulder. “A part of me is so angry that he left us when he was trying to find who was behind everything and that his arrest caused me and my siblings to be put in harms’ way.” “Are you still angry with him?” “No. I understand it. But I will never forget the distain and fear I felt when I saw the news. Or the abandonment I felt every time he left Emma and us. Even the anger that I felt when he took me out of country after your prom. He left them.” “But you understand it now?” “I suppose. Yes, but I have been cold to him for years. And last night Harper I reminded myself of him.” “And you don’t want to be like him?” “And that sounds awful. As a man I know he did what had to be done. But when I think about it through a child’s eyes. Through your eyes. I feel less than deserving of ….” “No you stop Maddox just for a minute –please.” “I’ve killed people.” “And I have never felt more protected and loved in you doing so.” I looked at her finally. “I admire everything about your father. He is a good man. He fought to get back to his family. He fought to make sure you were protected. He helped my father find me. He may not have always been there but I know without a doubt he would have if he knew about you Maddox. You have got to know that.” “That’s the problem Harper. I do know that but I don’t want our child, our children’s souls, so be darkened because of who I am. I have to make it better for you and for them.” “And I know until they ask those questions, until they are much older, they will never know.” “They’ll see it in me.” “They’ll see in you what I do. Someone whose love has no boundaries.” I closed my eyes and tried to think about everything we had just discussed. The way she loved me and would give me anything I asked of her. I never wanted to take too much. “Last night I should never have even asked that of you.” She sat up and turned to me and smiled. “I would hope you keep leading in our sexual exploration.” “Sexual exploration?” And here you have it. I could not look at her without wanting to touch her. I could not smell her skin without wanting to taste it. I could not hear her say things like that without feeling
my dick harden. “Sexual exploration.” She smiled and then blushed. “We need to at least take it easy while you’re pregnant.” I was well aware that my voice dropped an entire octave when I was raging inside. “We didn’t before.” “We should now.” She climbed on my lap and straddled me and ran her hands up my shirt slowly. “Your hands should be on me Maddox. Your mouth should be on me. No one is here, no one is expected.” “If I do I won’t stop.” “I wouldn’t want you to.” I reached around her and rubbed her ass pushing it slowly forward so that she rubbed on my dick. “When you grab my ass, squeeze it. I like that.” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah. And when I’m naked like earlier-- don’t look away.” “No?” “No Maddox.” “I want you all the time you know that.” “Thank God.” Her mouth crashed into mine. I held her against my body pulling her hips tight against my throbbing dick. She reached between us and pulled me free from my sweats and stroked me up and down. “Easy Sweetness.” She stood with my cock still in her hand pumping me back and forth as she shed her pants and underwear and climbed back on me. “Let me take care of you first Harper.” She shook her head from side to side and rubbed my tip against her warm opening. Her eyes were glassy and full of lust. She slowly circled her hips stretching to accommodate my size. I reached up her shirt and held her breast in my hand and tugged at her nipple. She winced. “Sore.” She lowered raised herself up and then back down my cock. “A few more weeks no more… aw hell you feel so damn good.” Her head fell back and she yelled out as she rode me. “You’re so fucking beautiful Harper.” “You, oh God Maddox you’re …you’re…I’m gonna come.” I held her hips still and she whimpered and rotated her hips first clockwise then counter clock wise and I nearly lost it. I stood and she wrapped her legs around my hips. “Fucking beautiful legs Sweetness.” I carried her in the bedroom and laid her down, breaking the connection of our bodies and she moaned in protest. “I am going to go easy on you. I promise not to be as greedy as I have always been.” “Don’t do that. Maddox don’t do that, I want you just the same.” I laid next to her and rolled to my side and she did the same. I pulled her leg over my hip and rubbed myself up and down her hitting her clit with each slow motion. Each time her eyes rolled back and she bit her lip stifling her cries. “Look at you. You really do want me as much don’t you?” I lightly passed my tip over her very sensitive ball of nerves and her mouth opened releasing a cry. “Yes, more damn it. More!” One more time I rubbed against her clit, harder this time, and her whole body tensed. I knew she was
going to come with me in or out of her and I wanted in. I needed that connection of body and soul. I needed it so fucking bad. “Then have it Harper.” I entered her slowly watching as she inhaled and her lip quivered. “Feel good slow?” “Yes,” she panted. “Yes.” I felt like I was under a spell. I couldn’t look away. It was never like this, never savored. Watching her come apart like this was like watching the tide come in for the very first time. Its experience was new to me and I cherished this and every moment with my Sweetness. I bowed my head and licked lightly across her nipple as I pushed further into her warmth. She came apart. “Fucking beautiful Harper!” I hastened my thrusts until I came yelling her name. She had her eyes closed and was smiling. Her cheeks where flush and she looked so relaxed. I kissed her head. “Stay, I will go get a cloth to clean you.” “Maddox that’s not necessary I can get up.” When she didn’t move, she just laid completely content and smiling I walked out and to the bathroom. When I came out I grabbed a banana. I cleaned between her legs and dropped the cloth in the dirty clothes basket and knelt between her legs. “Sweetness, I have something for you.” She opened her eyes and looked at me confused. I looked down realizing how this must look to her and after the conversation we had earlier, I wanted to laugh but instead I reached out for her hand and pulled her up. “To eat Sweetness. The banana is to eat.” “Oh,” she whispered and blushed. ***
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Lake Watch
Harper The weekend was a blur. Maddox and I just hung out and watched movies like a couple of bums. Well I did, he was on a running kick. Twice a day he would take off before I woke. Mom would stop by while he was gone and we would look through wedding magazines. I wanted to wait until my first trimester was over so that I wouldn’t be exhausted and yawning during the vows. Mom thought it was a good idea and Maddox said it wouldn’t matter either way he just wanted it to happen, ‘The sooner the better’. Maddox was amazing and I couldn’t wait until I was his wife, his wife. There would be no attendants during the ceremony. My brothers and Grandpa John would give me away. My mom would be my witness and Brody was to be Maddox’s. No matter how small I wanted this occasion to be it wasn’t going to happen. We had a big, huge family and I wanted them all there. It would still be an intimate wedding. Just us and those we loved. The next month Maddox would wake me after his run with ginger snaps and water. He had read it would help with the nausea and it did. I wasn’t throwing up as much. Only on the days I had to be at Cornell wrapping up my internship. Those days were more hurried. Maddox took and picked me up every day. The third day I noticed the Jeep in the parking lot outside of the building. I was shocked and honestly a little bit annoyed. I went out and asked him what he was doing and he pulled out his ear bud and smiled. “Writing Sweetness.” “Here? Have you done this all week?” He was clearly embarrassed. “What’s the sense in driving home for the three hours I have until I leave to come pick you up?” “I’m driving next week.” I walked back into the building and swear I felt his eyes on me the entire time. When I came out an hour later he was standing against the Jeep, shades on with one leg crossed in front of the other and his arms crossed in front of him. He looked amazing. Maddox was without a doubt the sexiest thing on the planet. Add to that the smile that could completely cut through me and any negative emotion I may have and I was completely done for. His smile did that to me. “End of your first week Sweetness?” He opened the door for me still smiling. He handed me one rose, it was white and beautiful. “It’s what you smell like to me.” “Roses?” “White roses specifically.” “There’s a difference?” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me snuggly against him and kissed me, holding his lips still against mine. “Do you always have to be so difficult Sweetness?” He laughed as he asked it. “I love you.” “You’ll love me more in a few minutes.” “Oh yeah?” He stepped back and opened the door. On the seat was a box of Little Debbie’s Swiss rolls and I laughed. “See I am conceding on the fight for complete control over your nutritional intake.” “I see that. Thank you that was very....” I held the box next to my face and smiled as if I was in a commercial. “Sweet.” He laughed as I sat in the Jeep and kissed me quickly before shutting my door. I opened the box and took out two packets and opened them.
He got in the driver’s side, sat down, and buckled. I shoved the first one half in my mouth and offered him the other. “No thank you but I won’t complain at all if you concede to a request of mine.” “What would that request be?” I pooped the other half in my mouth and he shook his head and smirked. “Don’t get angry that I cannot bring myself to leave you here without me.” “Maddox I am fine here.” “I am not. I left after you had your little episode and…” “My episode?” “Well--yes.” “I’m safe here.” “That may be true but you’re safer with me here.” “Maddox.” I couldn’t continue, the look in his bright blue eyes said determination. He would not give in. “I left for an hour Harper and it took all I had not to jump out of the Jeep and kick a little old ladies ass who stopped at a fucking green light that turned red causing me to be away for an extra three minutes. Now do you want that kind of publicity shining down on us?” I started laughing and he took a deep breath and smiled softly. “You really would have?” He held his hand up showing me. “I was this close.” “It’s a you thing Maddox. I feel safe here and at home.” “I assume I will in time as well. Just don’t ask me to change something I can’t right now.” “Okay.” I whispered and took his hand. “Thank you.” It was quiet as we headed up East Shore drive heading out of downtown Ithaca. Maddox slowed down as we went past the Lake Watch. I shoved another half a Swiss cake in my mouth. They were so damn good. He pulled in the driveway and I wondered what he was doing. He parked and jumped out before I could ask anything. He opened my door and held out his hand for me. I took his hand and stepped out. “Follow me?” “Always.” I’m not sure why but my stomach was in knots. Not because of the baby but because of where we were. “I came here when I left. I thought it would calm me.” He walked us out the back into the expansive lawn. “I looked out over the lake and thought of you. But it didn’t do a damn thing but make me want to get back to you even more.” He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Resting his chin on my shoulder he gently kissed my cheek. “All I could think about was how bad I wanted to do this at your prom.” His hand moved under my sweater and beneath my cami so his fingers touched my skin. His hand moved up my shirt until he cupped my very sensitive, tender breast. I rested my head against his as we stood looking over the water. I yawned and he laughed. “Sweetness, had I touched your tits back then I probably would have creamed myself.” “Nice Maddox.” I turned towards him and he was grinning from ear to ear. “I was sure I was gonna have you that night.” “I’m sure you would have had things not…” I stopped and rolled my eyes. “Everything happens for a reason Harper. Each step we have taken since the day we met, regardless
of how difficult, brought us back to each other. Now and until the day I die I promise I will never ever leave you.” I smiled and a yawn escaped. He took me in his arms and hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head. “Let’s get you home for a nap.” I tried to hide the fact that I was going to cry if he said anymore to me right now but of course, Maddox noticed. “I upset you. Come here Sweetness.” I laughed as tears fell and he simply held me. When I had finally gotten it together I looked up into his gently yet concerned beautiful bright blue eyes and smiled. “You didn’t upset me. Thank you Maddox.” “I’m not sure what you’re thanking me for but you’re welcome.” He tried to hide the amusement in his eyes as he wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead holding his lips against me. He took a deep breath and stepped back. “What’s so funny?’ “Oh Sweetness, the hormones.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah sorry about that.” His eye bro crept up and his lips twisted. “Not complaining I’m just really excited about your second trimester.” “Why’s that?” “Well last time you turned into a sexual goddess and wanted me all the time.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Maddox I still want you all the time.” “Between yawns?” “Even during. Let’s go so I can nap and then...” I tried to give him the sexiest look I could. His bite his bottom lip and let out a very soft groan. He grabbed my hand and walked quickly to the Jeep. Once I was in, he reached around to buckle me. His hand stayed on the buckle for a moment longer than necessary and then he ducked his head and rubbed his nose across my chest. “Every teenage boys dream.” He lifted my shirt and ran his lips and nose down between my breasts and then licked, tasting my skin, slowly up my neck until he came to my ear. He placed a soft kiss on my temple. “My reality.” Then he stepped back and shut the door. Leaving me out of sorts and completely aroused. When he sat in the driver’s seat I had to close my eyes and sit back. He started up the Jeep and slowly pulled out of the driveway. Once we were back on Route 34 he leaned over and took my hand. He rested his elbow on the console and held my hand against his mouth giving it feather light kisses and light licks. Heat was spreading through my body at a rapid speed. I felt my face heating and needs intensifying. I crossed my legs trying to take the edge off making a small moan escape. Embarrassed I looked to see if he noticed but of course he did. “Sorry,” I whispered. “Don’t ever be sorry about that Sweetness. Fuck!” He let go of my hand and leaned further over and tucked his hands between my legs. “Uncross those beautiful legs of yours.” With no shame, I did as I was asked. He pulled my leg towards him widening my spread. “Recline the seat.” The tone in he used was not a request but an instruction calling me to action from somewhere deep inside. Again I shamelessly followed his instruction. “Pull down you pants and panties Sweetness.” When I had done as I was asked I laid back, bare from the waist down.
“You fascinate me Sweetness. So conservative on the outside but a temptress underneath it all. One who takes me as I am. “ “I wouldn’t want you any other way.” “Fucking perfect. Not tired anymore?” “Wide awake.” “Mmm.” His eyes left the road briefly as the gazed down at my naked lower half. He took in a slow deep breath making an appreciative hissing sound. Then he looked away and licked his lips. His hand brushed between my legs sending a thousand little waves of delight through my body. He continued slowly teasing me and I was growing impatient. I pushed up against his hand, wanting, needing more contact. “Patience Sweetness we’re still pretty far from home.” “Please?” His hand cupped me and his palm pressed firmer against me. “Oh God. It feels so good.” His finger dipped just inside of me and then up just nudging against my clit. I cried out and looked up at him. His eyes were dark and his lips twisted up a bit. “Not yet patience Sweetness.” “I have none right now.” I held his hand firmly against me. “That bad Sweetness? You wanna come without me?” I knew I was being greedy but I couldn’t help it. It felt so damn good. His finger was now moving inside me. “If I give this to you don’t hold back on me. I wanna hear you scream my name as you come in my fucking hand. Fuck Harper! That’s right ride my finger Sweetness. I wanna hear you scream my name as much as you need to come.” I reached over to undo his pants. “No. Not now.” “It’s unfair to you.” “Fuck that, you riding my hand as my finger is buried inside your tight swollen little pussy is just as much for me.” “No...” “If not for me that for who Harper?” His finger swept up hitting that spot and I whimpered. “Who made that happen Sweetness?” “Oh God!” He was now hitting thrusting faster sending me into a frenzy. “Answer me Sweetness who is this for?” “Maddox! Oh God Maddox.” I contracted around his finger and he growled. “Fuck my hand faster Sweetness.” He continued thrusting as he pulled over and threw the Jeep into park. He leaned over and his mouth closed over mine, his hand working me so hard I couldn’t move. My body tensed and sparks shot inside of me to every cell of my body as I came grinding against his hand yelling his name. “That’s it Sweetness, thank you.” He kissed my neck as I lay lifeless and exhausted still being held in his hand. “Thank you.” I panted. Maddox sat up and kissed my lips and trying not to smile as he watched me try to catch my breath.
I covered my face with my arm unable and unwilling to move. Maddox got out of the vehicle and when my door opened he lifted my arm and kissed me. “Can’t hide from me, Sweetness.” I looked up at the arrogant little smile on his face and couldn’t help but smile. He bent down kissed my stomach. His kisses descended lower until he pulled my leg spreading me again. He kissed between my legs and growled. His tongue swept over my still pulsing and extremely sensitive flesh. “Mine.” “Yours.” He stood and kissed me again before turning me towards him. He grabbed my underwear and pants. “Feet.” Maddox dressed me as I lazily helped in the effort. “Now lift that sweet ass so I can pull them the rest of the way up.” I laughed and so did he. “Sweetness come on we don’t want to get caught now do we?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted. When my pants were back in place he looked down at me and smiled, kissing me once again. “I love you more.” “Not possible.” He stepped back and shut the door. Climbed in his side and pulled back onto the road. “I’m gonna have a hard time getting rid of this vehicle.” “What?” “We’ve both gotten off in here.” “I wanna keep it forever. Dad bought it for me.” Maddox looked over at me his eyes saddened. “We’ll keep it forever then.” I took his hand and held it against my face and yawned. “She’s a tired girl. Long day at school, emotionally on edge, and coming down from one hell of an orgasm.” “She is.” “Sleep until we get home. Then I’ll cook dinner and we can snuggle up in front of the fire and watch one of those movies you love.” “You’re perfect.” “I am aren’t I?” We both laughed. “We are perfectly matched Harper, you and I. I am a lucky man.” “And I am a lucky girl.” “My girl.” “Your girl.” Maddox let go of my hand and turned on the radio. David Nail’s Whatever She’s Got came on and he grumbled and went to change the channel. “Don’t you dare.” I grabbed his hand and held it. “Sweetness we do rock music okay. We,” he motioned between us, “are rock and roll.” I moved the seat back up and faced him and started to sing and his scowl softened and melted into a smile. By the time the song finished Maddox was laughing at me and of course I yawned. “Sweetness you can sing.”
I laughed. “I can joke around.” “That too, I very much enjoy the silly you.” “I’m a very funny girl. How did you not know this about me?” “Very good question. Wow, sexy as hell, in love with me, talented, and funny. I’m pretty sure you’re a keeper.” “Yeah yeah yeah.” I yawned and he leaned over seeking a kiss. “Sleep please.” “Okay.” I reclined my seat and closed my eyes
When I woke up Maddox was sitting in the driver’s seat with a hat pulled down over his eyes. We were in the driveway at Switzerland and it was getting dark. He was asleep; he looked adorable, peaceful, and content. It wasn’t often that I got to see him sleeping and when I did I loved it. That sleeping boy loved me. He was often times a bit over the edge with his possessiveness but that would never go away. It was who he is and who he always would be. A boy who rose from hell and unimaginably came out with his heart intact and the strength of ten thousand men. Physically but mentally as well. He killed for me. For me. And if I didn’t already know I loved him more than I felt humanly possible before then I knew it now and always and forever would. I love him madly. I want to make him as happy as he made me. And I knew exactly how I would do that at this moment. I was nervous as I slowly sat up on my knees in the passenger seat. I wet my dry lips as I looked at the outline of his length covered in just thin running pants. It wasn’t hard to see. Maddox was very well endowed. Beautiful actually. I reached over and lightly ran my finger over its outline and he rustled a bit. I quickly pulled back my hand so I didn’t wake him. When he had stopped moving I reached over again and ran two fingers down him. I continued doing this and he began to harden. As his dick grew it shifted to the side and strained against the material of his pants. I saw the outline of Thumpers head and felt the excitement grow in me as well. I stroked my fingers lightly across its head and Thumper twitched. Maddox wasn’t waking and I wanted him in my mouth so badly. I used my free hand to pull the waist band of his pants up and gently coaxed Thumper so that he was lying straight up and peeking out of Maddox pants. The tip was moist and I clenched my jaw trying to restrain myself from diving head first over him and sucking him fiercely. I pulled my hair back and to the side and leaned over careful not to touch any part of him. I carefully flicked my tongue across his broad head and again his cock twitched. I did it again and looked up to make sure he wasn’t awake yet. Satisfied that I was able to continue exploring him as he slept I leaned over and ran my tongue around his rim. He let out a soft moan. I quickly sat back up. His head fell to the side but his eyes were still closed. I leaned back down and dragged my tongue slowly across him head and then sucked lightly. I pulled his pants lower exposing more of his glorious cock allowing myself to take him further in my mouth. I loved to taste his skin. I wasn’t afforded the opportunity often. He was a take charge man when we were intimate and I wasn’t about to complain because there was nothing to complain about but other than three or four occasions I couldn’t think of many times I was given the opportunity to do this and right now I wanted it so badly. I lifted his silky rock hard cock off his very well defined V and opened my mouth wide to accommodate his girth as I tried to pull his pants further down. “You need some help Sweetness?” Startled I jumped back and fell between the seat and the dash.
“Maddox!” His eyes widened and he looked shocked. “You alright?” He leaned over and grabbed my arm and pulled me back up onto the seat. My face burned with embarrassment and he smirked. “It’s not funny!” “It kind of is.” He cocked his head to the side and looked thoroughly amused. “How long have you been awake?” “Since you started rubbing my cock.” He looked entirely too damn arrogant. And I could think of nothing to say. “Want me to pretend to sleep again so you can continue?” He sucked his cheeks in trying not to laugh or smile or both. “Yes!” “Fine by me.” He pulled his pants down a bit. Thumper was standing tall and proud. He lifted his shirt up and held himself in his hand. Slowly he began stroking himself up and down. It was incredibly sexy and I was so turned on but this was him taking charge again. “If you’ve got it all under control I can leave you two alone.” I started to open the door and he let out a deep laugh and pulled my arm towards him. “You want my cock Sweetness, it’s all yours.” “Mine.” “Say it again.” His growled. “Mine.” I leaned over and took him almost completely in my mouth. I almost gagged as I felt him against the back of my throat. “Easy.” He whispered as his hands rubbed the back of my head. I moved hard faster sucking his delicious cock hard just to hear him growl and hiss as I ravaged him. “Fuck Sweetness I’m not gonna last if you keep that up.” He said in a sexy growl. I continued up and down him, rubbing my tongue up and down the underside. I was drooling but didn’t want to stop so I continued, pausing only to swallow with him still in my mouth. “FUCK!” He roared. His hips began pumping and his hands fisted my hair. “Sweetness swallow again with my cock deep in your mouth. Squeeze the life out of…” I did and his entire body tensed. The first burst hit the back of my throat. “Can’t stop now. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” He came so much it was spilling out of my mouth as the last hot burst came. “Oh my God!” He flopped back panting. “You are so fucking amazing.” He lifted his head to look at me as I was wiping my chin with my shirt. “That is so fucking beautiful Harper. My cum on your chin is probably the hottest…” I opened the door as soon as my stomach turned and made it out just in time. I threw up three times before I realized Maddox was behind me holding me up. “I am so sorry Sweetness.” He rubbed my back as he pulled my hair back. “Not your fault,” I managed to croak before throwing up one last time. “That’s not happening again. How fucking selfish of me! Sorry Harper…” “Shut up,” I whispered and wiped my face. I stood up and leaned into him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as I caught my breath. “You alright?” He whispered as he kissed the top of my head.
I stood up and turned around. “I’m fine.” He was brooding. “Maddox I am fine. I wanted it. Please don’t be upset.” “That’s not gonna happen again. Fucking stupid to be so rough on you.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I’ll do it again if I want. When I want.” “Why so you can throw up again? No Harper absolutely not.” “I’ll wait until you’re asleep.” His jaw dropped and rather than laugh at his obvious shock I walked around him and grabbed my things from the Jeep. Shut the door and walked into our little Switzerland. When he hadn’t come in behind me I looked out the window and watched him pace and sputter to himself. God I love him!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Nations Divide
Maddox I cannot believe she threw up after giving me the best blow job of my life! What the hell is that! Lullaby blow job I thought to myself and wanted to call T and tell him about that but it was absolutely not going to happen. Fuck this sucked. Wrong choice of words but it did. How the hell do I go back in there and act like that didn’t happen? I made her throw up because I swear I just came more than I ever had in my life. I wanted to celebrate and crawl under a rock at the same time. I heard the door shut and she was walking towards me smiling. Fucking beautiful Temptress. And it hit me; she is carrying my child, what she eats the baby eats. That thought alone made me want to hurl. She laughed that sweet little laugh she did when we weren’t going to argue about my temperament but she wanted to tell me I was being ridiculous. “You better get it together Rockstar; Mom wants us to come for dinner.” I did not just imagine her exaggerating that word, know I didn’t. “You sure you’re up to that?” “Maddox I just threw up. My stomach is empty. I’m pregnant and hungry. So yes, I’m sure. Come on.” I grabbed her hand as she started to walk away. She turned towards me and looked up. I bent and planted a kiss on her lips. She put her hands on my shoulders and then linked her fingers behind my neck. I pried my lips off hers. “Tell me you’re alright.” “I’m alright Maddox. But I do need to eat something.” “I cannot believe you got sick after…” “Maddox, I would have even if your dick wasn’t rubbing my tonsils.” Her smile broadened and I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to hers. “It was amazing, well before you threw up. It was fucking amazing waking up like that Harper.” “I enjoyed it too, well before I threw up.” “Yeah?” “Yeah. Now let’s go eat. She made steak and I’m really hungry.” Her voice rumbled when she said hungry and if Thumper wasn’t ashamed of himself right this moment he would want to play again.
We walked into the house and were immediately greeted by Lexington and London. They ran up and hugged us. “I miss you.” Lexington giggled as I picked her up. “You miss me? How is that possible? We are staying right up the way Lexi.” “But I don’t see you.” She hugged my neck so tight. I hugged her almost as tightly back. “Well we need to fix that don’t we?” Harper smiled as London dragged her away ranting about a spring dance that she was going to. I heard her say a boy asked her and nearly fell over. “Lexi did London say she had a date?” Lexi leaned back smirking and nodded her head yes. “Well that’s not going to happen.”
“That’s what Daddy said and she told him she isn’t much younger than you were when you met Harper.” “No, that’s different.” Lexington laughed and I felt my blood begin to boil. “Not really Maddox, she is thirteen now you know.” “Thirty is the magic number Lexington. You’ll do well to remember that.” I walked into the kitchen carrying Lexington and saw Dad scowling as he looked at the floor. Emma and Tessa were standing with Harper and London. “He’s fourteen almost fifteen.” London said pointing at a book. “Cute huh? He plays piano in the school band and basketball and I think baseball.” I looked at Dad and he was shaking his head back and forth. “London you’re thirteen.” I scolded her. “Yeah? The point Maddox?” Damn she was getting sassier. “The point is you should be worried about school and I don’t know fu… ponies and such.” Harper giggled and I gave her a reproachful look which made Emma and Tessa laugh as well. “Dad?” “Apparently I’m outnumbered here.” He said glowering. “Well Lexington and I are on your side right Lexi?” “No way, he’s really cute Maddox.” “Lexington that’s not right.” I scolded. I gave Dad a look and he walked over as Lexi jumped down to go stand with the traitors. He leaned against the counter. “You think you can let Tomas or Surge or even both watch after your fiancée next week so we can get some writing done?” “Possible.” He looked at me deep in thought. “Maddox, should we just wait until she completes school?” “No you shouldn’t.” I jumped when I heard Harper behind me. She laughed. “Maddox, I’ll be fine.” Thankfully Tessa called us all to the table so that we couldn’t argue. Or rather she wouldn’t argue a fight I was unwilling to back down from. We were all seated at the table when Tessa cleared her throat. “I wanted everyone to know that I will be taking a trip back to Nicaragua in a few weeks.” I looked at Harper whose jaw dropped and chest started to rise and fall a bit faster. I reached under the table to hold her hand and she clung to it. Tessa smiled at her and continued. “It was a very special place to your father and me. We went when I was pregnant for the boys and again when you were just a baby. Your father always planned to build these communities up, made them self-sufficient and handed over the key so to speak to whoever was the leader at the time. It’s been taking care of itself for years and he couldn’t give it up because it had sentimental value.” “Then keep it Mom.” Harper’s voice was a painful plea. Tessa swallowed and then smiled. “We always said we would retire. Travel to wherever you three were. Enjoy our children and their children. Your Daddy was a bit nostalgic of five places in particular. Tomas and I have been in touch with all the leaders within the communities and we will be visiting each one to cut them loose.” “No Mom, when I finish school I want to be part of that still. I want….” Harper stopped and looked at me. “Maddox I’m sorry I haven’t talked about this with you but…” “Harper the decision has been made.” Tessa looked down avoiding Harper’s disappointed
expression. “Is that what he’d want Mom?” Harper’s voice broke and Tessa didn’t answer. “Is it?” “Yes Harper, I’m sure it’s exactly what he would want.” Tessa pushed her food around. “We aren’t walking away from the shelters, the homes and the programs we run here in the States. I would love for you to take a bigger role in the operations in state Harper if that’s what you want.” Harper let out a quick breath. “Of course I want that.” The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. All except for Lexington and an occasional Londonism would come out taking the chill out of the room. She was too damn excited about the dance and I’m pretty sure she had Harper agreeing to chaperone which was her attempt at our parents not being there. Dad and I cleaned up after he insisted Tessa sit down and enjoy Harper’s company. “If you don’t want to leave her there I understand. Maybe we could work tomorrow. I have a few new songs ready to record. We should only need three or four more, for the tour we do some old and some new. Easy as groupies.” I laughed and looked over at Dad. “I like to see you smile son.” “Yeah I like it too.” “Rough week?” “Rough fucking years.” “It’s getting better though right?” I looked at him and saw the pain deep inside his eyes. “Of course. Yeah every day.” He seemed mildly content with the answer I gave him and I was happy that he was. After Harper and my conversation about me being hard on my father I realized he must feel it as well. I didn’t want that for him. I loved him too damn much for what he had done for me and I needed to be damn sure he knew it. As I have learned throughout this past few years, not everyone is perfect. I clearly had made mistakes and was forgiven, so who am I to hold anything against a man who not only gave me life but saved mine risking his own repeatedly for the ones he loved. I was also ever aware that tomorrow was not a guarantee and I better be damn sure the people I loved knew it. These people who were now my family —my family. By not only blood but by choice. Emma wasn’t my biological mother but she was more a mother than I would have ever known had she not loved my father—more. She believed in her love for him and his for her so much that there was not a question or one moment of hesitation in accepting me, trusting me, loving me. “You alright Maddox?” “Yeah Dad. I love you. You know that right?” “I do Maddox and I love you. Don’t you ever doubt that?” “I won’t.” Dad hugged me like he had years ago and instead of feeling embarrassed I hugged him back. I stepped back and he smiled and whispered. “I’m gonna be a fucking grandpa.” I smiled. “Sure are.” I looked over into the family room and Harper was sitting between Lexington and London looking through a bridal magazine. We still hadn’t set the date we would have the ceremony and I could hardly wait for her to become my wife. It seemed odd to me that it was so important to me to be her husband, but it was. She was already my everything, mine in every way. But as much as my mouth craved the taste of her skin, as much as I could still never feel fully connected when I wasn’t inside of her, I needed the words “I do” and the paper making her mine legally. She looked up and smiled sadly. She could feel me staring. It didn’t even embarrass me anymore to get caught. I didn’t care if she or the rest of the world knew just how much she meant to me. I walked to her light not caring that she had that pull over me. I remember when I was so fucking confused by it. I fought it with everything I was. I told myself it was dirty to feel that way about her, that I was not good enough. I nearly killed myself trying to stay away from her, for years. As I gazed down at
her now her cheeks turn a faint pink. I smiled, brushed my hand across the left side of her face, and squatted down in front of her, knowing damn well I was good enough. She showed me I was. I now knew no one else could possibly be good enough for her aside from me. “Sweetness when are we gonna do this?” “Maddox.” London rolled her eyes. “When she wants. Not until then.” “She wants, don’t ya Harper?” “Yes I want.” “What are we waiting for again?” “Time?” “Fine you have three weeks. We do this on March,” I pulled my phone out and thumbed to the calendar. “March 21st.” “Yeah?” A smile spread across her face. “Or sooner…” “No not sooner we have to plan Maddox! I don’t know if that’s enough time.” London stood and began to pace. “Yeah Maddox. Not enough time.” Lexington got up and mimicked London. “What do we need time for little ladies?” They both turned and looked at me as if I was insane. “Shopping! Hair, makeup….” London began. “Shoes!” Lexington shouted and started to clap. “She needs to be beautiful Maddox.” “London, then I say I marry her right here and now. She is stunning, the most beautiful woman in the entire world.” Her face turned a darker pink and she rolled her eyes. “Sweetness, three weeks or I drag a priest to Switzerland and we do it there.” I kissed her cheek and stood up and looked at Emma and Tessa. “Did you here that? March 21st we are getting married. If you can’t get it together I will.” Dad laughed and I looked back at Harper who smiled and then yawned. “Ready to head back up and get some sleep?” “Yeah.” I gave her my hand and she took it. I pulled her up and into me giving her a quick kiss. “Say our goodnights?” She nodded her head and said goodnight to everyone. She looked at her mother and Tessa smiled and opened her arms. Harper walked up to her and hugged her. “I love you Harper Ann, so much.” “I know Mom, I love you too.” Harper turned to me and looked at me. I swear I could feel her sorrow and knew we were heading towards an emotional night. I held out my hand and she took it and we walked to the door. When we walked out into the chilly evening air I felt her shudder. I fell back a step and wrapped my arms around her from behind trying to keep her warm. She looked up and gave me a little smile as we walked slowly up the path to Switzerland. “Sweetness, look at that sunset.” I pointed to the beautiful pink and orange sky and kissed her cheek. “I did that for you.” “The sunset?” “Yes don’t sound so shocked, I intend on doing it for you ever night until I can’t anymore.”
“Thank you.” “You are more than welcome.” She slowed down and then came to a stop. We stood for a moment as she gazed up at the sky. She turned holding my arms in place. “My Dad did that for Mom as well.” “Until he couldn’t…” She finished my sentence, “Anymore.” I nodded my head and she stood looking up at me the way I imagined our child would as questions ran through his or her mind. “Maddox?” “What is it Harper? Tell me what you’re thinking.” “Do you think she blames me?” “Who?” “Mom. Do you think she blames me for Dad not being here? I mean do you ever think when she’s sad that she gets angry that it was him and not me?” I watched as tears welled in her beautiful blue eyes. “Harper no. Not ever.” “I did.” Tears started to flow down her cheeks and I hugged her not knowing what to say. So I said nothing for a long time. I just held her and waited until I could no longer feel tears falling against my neck. “Harper you need to know there is no life more valuable than yours is to me. You also should know your father felt the same way about you. You can feel that inside of you, I know you can. I didn’t know him all my life but I knew him when my life truly began. I know without question or doubt that he and your mother would have given their lives for you, so no. Not once has that crossed Tessa Abrahams mind.” She let out a very deep breath and stood for a moment. “I’m emotional.” “That’s expected. Not just because of what you’ve been through but because of the little life that is growing inside of you. One that was certainly meant to be here.” She nodded and looked at me knowing what I was implying. “You ready to go rest now?” “Yeah.” “That’s good.” I took her arms off of me, kissed her hand, turned my back and squatted. “Climb on. You watch that sunset while I get us back home. I busted my ass to make that for you and I want you to appreciate it.” She climbed up and held on as I started to jog up the hill into the woods. She kissed my neck at least a dozen times and whispered, “Thank you.”
We walked in and kicked off our shoes. Neither of us said a word as we walked into the tiny little bathroom and brushed our teeth. No words were spoken as we walked into the bedroom. She lifted her arms when I began to pull her shirt over her head. I grabbed her pajama top and she shook her head no and then lifted my shirt. When we had slowly undressed one another she pulled the duvet down and laid on the bed. “Beautiful,” I whispered as I climbed in next to her. She pulled me towards her and kissed me as she ran one hand through my hair and the other down my
body. There was nothing hurried as our hands touched each other. Slow and very soft was the need I felt calling from her. I rubbed her wet slit and she moaned as she closed her eyes and relaxed onto her back. My fingers circled inside of her, she was wet and soft like silk. I continued slow very deliberate strokes, touching one of the places deep inside that made her purr as my thumb lightly rubbed her clit. She reached up pulling me closer. She was ready and wanting me to take her at a leisurely pace we were not accustomed to. I entered her warmth as my mouth took hers. We met each other’s hips with slow deep thrusts as our tongues caressed and tasted each other at the same leisurely pace. I felt her tighten around me and I held myself up with one hand so I could look down at her coming apart beneath me. When she was finished and had relaxed under me, I continued thrusting slowly and deeply. I pulled her pebbled little nipples into my mouth and sucked again at a slower pace. She moaned coaxing me to continue. Her hands reached around and held my ass tight against her. I lowered myself a bit, allowing my body to press against her still sensitive, still pulsing body and her eyes opened and she moaned louder. “Can you get there again like this Sweetness?” “Yes, oh yes.” Her head fell back and I moved a touch faster until she tensed and let out a very erotic moan. “Oh …Oh…” I couldn’t hold back, I didn’t want to. We came together and I rolled to my side not wanting to squash her or the baby. I was still inside her and that’s where I intended to stay the entire night. She made no attempt to move. I rubbed her back and her sweet ass until she was asleep.
I sat up in the darkness and cold. I held Harper against me and tried to turn on the lamp next to the bed. “I have to pee.” Harper kissed my chest where she had been laying. “Turn on the light please?” “It’s not working.” “What?” I grabbed my phone so we could have a little light. “Maddox it’s cold in here.” I wrapped the blanket around her. “Stay I’ll get you some pajamas” I dug through her drawer and all I could find where those dammed footies. I hated those things but they would keep her warm until I figured out what the problem was. “Can you get these on so I can check things out?” “Yeah.” Her teeth chattered. I walked out and heard the door open. I grabbed the broom and held it like a baseball bat. “Maddox?” “Who the fuck is it.” “Tomas. The security system went off alerting me there was an electrical problem. You two okay?” “Yeah fine. Come on in.” “I can call someone to come fix it or the two of you can stay at the house until morning.” “Hey Tomas.” Harper walked out. “Let’s not bother anyone tonight. Maddox you don’t mind do you?” “Not at all. Let’s go.” Harper held her stomach and then went to the counter and grabbed those Swiss rolls. She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. Absolutely adorable.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN United
Harper We walked into the house and I looked at the clock it was one in the morning. “Living room?” “Sure.” “Will it bother you Harper?” “Because of Harrison?” He nodded. “No Maddox it’s fine, really. I’m just gonna grab some blankets.” “I’ll see if I can make it comfy for us in there.” He kissed my head walked into the room. I walked towards the hall closet next to my father’s office and saw that the light was still on. I pushed the door open after hearing soft sobs. I saw Mom sitting in Dad’s chair with her knees pulled to her chest. “Mom?” She looked up quickly and wiped her face. “Harper is everything alright?” I nodded my head and walked to her. I hugged her and she laughed. “Sorry Harper. I’m supposed to be strong.” “Says who?” “Your Daddy of course.” I let go of her and reached for the chair behind her desk pulling it up next to her. “I don’t understand.” I saw her shoving something in the desk drawer. “It’s nothing. I’m being ridiculous. A weak moment.” “What did you just put in the drawer?” “It’s nothing Harper.” “Obviously it is. Talk to me Mom, don’t grieve alone. Why are you hiding something?” “Not hiding it’s just personal.” She tried so hard to smile and then shook her head back and forth. “I found a journal a month ago. Something he wrote in for the first three years we were married. I get letters now.” “Letters?” “Your father wrote me a letter on our anniversary every year. One to himself and one that he gave me.” “I don’t understand.” “It was like he knew that I would be here after he was gone.” “You’re tired Mom. You should go to sleep.” “Yeah.” We both stood and I took her hand. We walked past Maddox and he looked at me and mouthed ‘Stay with her’. We walked up the stairs and into Moms bedroom. “I’m sorry Harper. I don’t want to let go of all of our memories either …” “No I’m sorry. I didn’t mean too…” “Harper Ann. In his letters he instructed me to move forward. He had planned to be done with all the overseas work.” “I understand. I was just…” “I’m not ready to do this either. I’m not ready to let go of all the people we love when he’s not even here. I’m angry at him for not being here to do this with me. He knows I can’t do this!” Watching my mother cry was heart breaking. “You won’t do it alone Tessa. We’ll be there with you.” We looked up as Maddox walked in the bedroom. “No. No! I won’t let this affect you two. I’m simply having a hard time tonight. I’m being ridiculous.”
I smiled at Maddox and turned back to Mom. “No, we’ll go. We just need a few days to figure it out.” “I said no.” “I don’t care.” Mom’s eyes widened. I never talked to her like that. Never. Maddox pulled the comforter down. “Let’s go ladies. It’s late. You’re both emotional and tired, and understandably so.” “Come on Mom.” I sat up on the bed and scooted to Dad’s side and patted the spot beside me. “Harper you go with Maddox. I’m fine.” “I’m not leaving.” “She’s not leaving.” Maddox kissed me and my mom on the head before walking out and shutting the door behind him. Mom wiped my eyes and smiled sadly. “Sorry.” “Don’t ever be sorry.” We laid in bed holding hands until she and I both fell asleep.
I woke up needing to use the bathroom. I slid out of bed quietly not wanting to wake her. After using the bathroom I crept out the door and tiptoed down the stairs. Thirsty, I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before making my way back to the room I had found my mother in. It killed me to know my father had died to save my life but I could no longer grieve a loss that resulted in my being here today. As Maddox had pointed out, my father would have had it no other way. I was going to try even though it pained me to celebrate the life of the man who gave me mine. The man who saved mine. The greatest man I ever knew, my Daddy. I sat behind his large desk in his oversized chair. The same chair I use to sit in and spin myself around in circles until I became dizzy. In the same room I spent hours in watching my parents work tirelessly in to ready themselves for upcoming trips. Trips that were not just a job for them but a part of who they were. A part of who I was because of them. I pulled the chair up to the desk and opened the drawer. I pulled out the letter that Mom had obviously shoved into it. I sat back ready to feel what she must have felt when she fell apart. It felt a little wrong but not completely. To my Beautiful Angel, I know things seem hard for you now. I know that as much as you wish I could hold you and tell you that everything was going to be alright, I wish it too. As I have said in the previous letter I am here with you always Tessa Ann Abraham. I am in your heart, and in the smiles of our children and the children they will bring into your life. Forever. That will never change. If I felt your love for a moment it would have been enough to know what love was. If you lips touched mine only once I would have known what a true love tasted of. If I had only lain in bed wrapped in your arms one time I would have been fully satisfied for an eternity. But that didn’t happen. I had a lifetime of your lips, gentle touch and your love. More than I could have ever imagined. My being gone doesn’t stop my love for you or yours for me. You know that as well as I. Things do have to change now Tessa. We battled ourselves for years wanting to continue our life’s work. We discussed when we would stop and pushed the years of service further and further. It’s time now Beautiful. It’s time to stop. We both knew what our deepest desire was and it was to always be a family that was together. It worked then. You may not be ready to do this and I am deeply sorry for being unable to take these final trips with you but they must be done. I know that even if I say let Tomas handle this you would not allow that. I don’t like it but I understand. Do not go alone or I will fight my way out of heaven to be there and end up in hell because of it. That can’t happen because when your time comes I want to be the first to greet you here in the sky with the rest of the angels. I love you forever.
Yours, Collin
He added to his letter years later. Only a few things have changed in my above writing. I have been given even more time to love and be loved by you. A blessing and something to be eternally grateful for. Since Harper graduated the plans have been drawn up for us to hand back the final five communities to very capable leaders. I ask that you follow them. Do it knowing that’s what I would want. Be strong Beautiful. I love you forever. Yours, Collin
I sat back numb. I could hear him saying the words her wrote to her. I felt the tears begin to fall and then felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Maddox and he bent down and hugged me as I cried. He took the letter from my hand and placed it back into the drawer and then picked me up. “I’m so sorry Harper.” He carried me into the living room and sat in Dad’s brown leather recliner. Holding me on his lap he reclined. He pulled my head into his neck and rubbed my back as he kissed my head. “Sleep Sweetness.” I got comfortable and wrapped my arms around his neck needing him to be closer to me until I couldn’t cry anymore and I fell to sleep in the arms of the man I know loved more than any man on earth.
I woke alone on the air mattress that Maddox had set up the night before. I missed waking next to him asleep with his arms around me of his hand in various places on my body. And I missed waking next to him asleep with his lashes fanned across his face and his upper body exposed. He didn’t sleep covered completely unless it was me who covered him. There was a bottle of water and ginger snaps on a plate; Maddox obviously had left them here as he did every morning. Today was no exception. He was so very thoughtful and took such good care of me. I heard music coming from the dining room. The sound of an acoustic guitar and a low humming. I sat up and shoved a ginger snap in my mouth and took a drink of water before standing up. This seemed to be working for me lately; I only felt slightly queasy the past few mornings. I walked into the bathroom quietly so that he would continue playing. It was a treat to hear Maddox play. It seemed like ages since he had picked up his old guitar, the one his father gave him when he first found him. The one he wouldn’t replace regardless of how haggard it looked. I looked in the mirror as I brushed my teeth quickly so that when I kissed Maddox my breath wasn’t hideous. He wouldn’t care less but I did. After crying myself to sleep in his arms I’m sure it was awful smelling and would taste even worse. I nearly gagged when I brushed my tongue but somehow managed to contain it. I quickly brushed through my hair and then threw it on top of my head in a messy bun of sorts. I washed my face and then took one last look in the mirror. “Good enough.” I walked towards the beautiful sound of my future husband and the soft strumming of the acoustic guitar. His back was to me as I quietly sneaked towards him. I put my hands in front of his eyes covering them so he couldn’t see who it was. He immediately stopped playing and set the guitar on the ground. “I wonder who this is?” I smiled big trying my best to stay still and quiet. His hands covered mine and he pulled them down and rubbed his soft stubble against my hand. “Feel lovely. Smells of heaven.” He stopped and kissed my hand. “Soft velvety skin.”
He licked my hand sending chills throughout my body and then sucked my finger. “Tastes sinfully sweet.” I giggled unable to hold it completely back. “Voice of an angel.” He pulled my around in front of him and down onto his lap. “You are undeniable the most amazing being on this planet.” His lips covered mine and he sucked lightly on them. His mouth gapped slightly and he licked the line where my lips touched each other. I opened for him and his tongue stroked mine softly. “Good morning sweetness.” “Good morning.” “How are you feeling?” He asked as his hand ran on top of my footies over my belly. “I have to pee.” I jumped up and ran back to the bathroom.
When I came out Maddox was standing waiting. “All better now?” “Yep.” He was smiling as he looked me up and down. “What?” “Those damn pajamas keep popping up regardless of how many pairs I get rid of Harper.” I walked up and linked my hands behind his neck and smiled. “Christmas cards this year you’ll be wearing a pair too.” “I highly doubt that.” “Oh you will. We have to match. All three of us will be in them.” He looked at me and I was unable to read what he was thinking. He finally smiled and then rolled his eyes. “I suppose I could cave in and do that on one condition.” “What’s that?” “I get to choose what’s underneath them.” “Oh yeah and what will you choose?” “Not much.” I pushed myself up on my toes and gave him a quick kiss. “It’ll be a nursing bra and granny panties.” He looked curiously at me. “I’ll be breast feeding.” I stopped on purpose to take in the desire filling his eyes knowing full well I was about to crush him. “And probably bleeding like a stuck pig.” He laughed out loud and hugged me. He kissed my head and whispered in my ear, “We’ll figure out a way around it.” And then he patted my butt. I laughed and then heard the door open and shut in the kitchen. “Mom’s up.” I took off and slide across the wood floor stopping when I saw Grandpa John walk in and stomp his shoes off on the entry rug. “Good morning Harper Ann.” “Good morning Grandpa.” I walked over and gave him a big hug. “Your Mom around kiddo?” “I think she’s still sleeping.” “No she left right before you woke up. Said she needed to go for a run. Tomas is with her.” Mom hadn’t run in years and it made me a bit nervous. “Don’t worry Harper. She’s just working something out. That’s what she did when she was your age.” “She’s going to hand over South America. I think I upset here. Maddox was she…”
“She was fine Harper. We actually discussed what you wanted to do and she seemed alright with it. She said you would still finish school and that I should think of my career before chasing her around the country. I assured her we would figure it out.” “You both planning on joining her?” “Sure am Grandpa. Why you wanna come too?” “No. It’ll be good for you both to do this. If Maddox and a couple of those guys are with you then I’m fine with it. You don’t want me slowing you down anyways.” I looked back at Maddox. “You sure she wasn’t you know—like last night?” “She was alright.” He walked up and wrapped his hand around my waist. “Bad night?” Grandpa kicked his muck boots off and walked towards the coffee pot. “Dad left her letters.” I covered my mouth. “Please don’t tell her I told you.” “Not a shock to me little girl. He left us one as well. Thanking us for her and for being his family. He asked that we watched out for you four as long as we could and then said he knew he didn’t even have to ask but wanted to make sure we helped her move on when she was ready.” “What does that mean move on?” “Your mother’s still young. He wants her to live life. He says there are no guarantees of tomorrow and he wanted her to be happy.” I didn’t know exactly what he meant by this and I was a bit confused—but only for a moment. “He wants her to love again.” “If that’s what she wants then yes Harper, that’s exactly what he means.” I walked to the sink and looked out the window towards the swing set Dad, Uncle Alex, Uncle Jake and Ryan had built when I was five. I had many fond memories of playing in the fort that sat on stilts. Memories of playing princess with Ava and Riley while Dad fought the imaginary dragons with Ryan and Logan. “You want the same for her right Harper?” “Of course I do Grandpa.” Just not yet. The room fell silent for a moment. Thank fully the sound of trampling footsteps and giggles filled the room as Lexi and London barreled into the room. “Morning Grandpa John!” Lexi squealed. “Morning? It’s almost afternoon.” Grandpa picked her up and hugged her. “Is not,” she laughed as he tickled her chin. “Is so.” “It’s only eight thirty,” she giggled. Grandpa laughed, “Days almost done. Don’t you have school?” “It’s Saturday.” London laughed. “Well shouldn’t you have a job London? No sense in wasting the days away.” Maddox smiled as he watched there interactions. Emma and Brody walked in with his hand resting on her shoulder. “Good morning John.” “Morning Brody. Good morning Emma.” “Where’s your Mom?” Emma asked. “She went for a run.” I looked around and then at Maddox. “When did she leave?” He looked at the clock “Over an hour ago.” I felt my heart race and Grandpa set Lexi down and walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Tomas is with her.” I looked up as Tomas walked in the door. “Mom with you?” “No she wanted to be alone.”
“Why? Where is she?” I walked over to the door and grabbed my boots. Tomas smiled. “You’re in your pajamas Harper Ann. She’s at the farm. She has her phone and more importantly she said if I didn’t leave she was going to fire me.” Grandpa and Brody laughed. Tomas didn’t. “She’s fine. Your aunt and uncle are there. She said she’d call me when she was ready.” I played it off that it didn’t bother me and that I wasn’t worried. I even helped Emma make breakfast as Brody and Grandpa talked about the ground breaking next week. Grandpa mentioned that it hadn’t taken too long. Brody agreed and mentioned that money talks. I looked over at Lexington who looked at them like they were crazy and then whispered something in Maddox ear. He laughed out loud immediately covered his mouth obviously embarrassed. She then pointed her finger at him giving him sort of warning and he pretended to shutter in fear. He whispered, ‘It’s a figure of speech.’ And she rolled her eyes and whispered back, ‘I know that.’ I took the moment everyone was occupied to sneak into the office. I picked up the phone and dialed the farm. “Uncle Alex?” I whispered. “Harper its Lucas, is everything alright?” “Yeah, is Alex around?” “Nope. Haven’t seen him yet. I just stopped by to see if he had any of that flea and tick ointment for our dog.” “So no one is there?” I was shocked. “Harper tell me what’s going on.” “Mom went for a run. Told Tomas if he didn’t come back here he was fired. I’m just worried.” “I’m sure she’s fine.” “I know it just…” I stopped trying to figure out how to shut the hell up. I had already ran my mouth to Grandpa and didn’t want to do it again. “She upset Harper?” “Yeah.” God I felt awful. “Well she was last night.” “Okay you relax and I promise I’ll call you back in fifteen minutes. I’m pretty sure I know where she is.” “How do you know?” Again I stopped feeling like a complete idiot. “Well, let’s just say I pissed your Mom off a lot many many years ago. Two places she would go then. She hasn’t changed much so if she’s not at camp she’s down by …” “The falls.” “Yeah. So give me fifteen minutes okay kid?” “Thanks Lucas.” “No problem. She’s fine Harper okay?” “Yeah okay.” “I’ll call you back at this number?” “Yep it’s my cell. Lucas—don’t tell her I called.” He laughed, “Can’t promise anything. She may find it odd if I show up down there. I’ll look for your uncle if you want I can send him down.” “If he’s not there?” “I’ll go.” “Okay.” I turned around and Maddox was standing in the doorway leaning against the wall.
I jumped and covered my mouth and he stood up and walked towards me holding his hand out. “Breakfast is ready.” “I wasn’t doing anything.” “I know Sweetness, you never are.” I pulled my hand back. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He smirked and shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s go eat.” “No what does that mean?” I demanded quietly. “It doesn’t mean you’re nosy.” “Excuse me?” He laughed. “Sweetness you are a very curious girl that’s all. Remember when I caught you sneaking around when we met. You had overheard things about me?” “It’s not the same.” He grabbed me by the hips. “Use to piss me off you know.” I tried to pull away and he held a little firmer. “Maddox…” “Until I realized you did it because you care. I wouldn’t change it Harper, I really wouldn’t.” I relaxed and rested my forehead to his chest. “With my possessiveness and your…” “Be nice Maddox.” “Need to help and care for people when they’re struggling.” I looked up and smiled and he kissed my nose. “Our children are so fucked.” We both laughed and he bowed his head and kissed me and then rubbed his nose up the side of my face inhaling deeply. “We’re gonna have a lot of babies if you keep turning me on every five damn seconds. Even in those blasted pajamas.” I nuzzled into his neck and rapped my arms around his waist. “After breakfast we need to get to work. I want you to draft a letter to your professor and see if there’s an alternative project you can do to complete your program. Maybe a paper on our pending travels.” “I couldn’t ask that Maddox.” “When I was talking to your mother this morning, you finishing school now was her biggest concern. Ask for her not for you, but do it today so we can get plans rolling.” I looked up at him and he gave me a look. “Not a request.” “Oh no then what is it?” “An order. From your future husband.” “You better reel it in buddy.” He smiled and kissed me. “Please.” “Okay.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN Rolling
Maddox Tessa returned and looked completely exhausted. I watched as Harper tried her best to cheer her up. They sat in the office and each worked on their computers. I assumed Harper was drafting an email to her professor and walked over to her. “I’m going to see if Dad wants to go over a few things I’ve written.” I gave her a quick kiss. “I’m going to make lunch when it’s time so no worries from you two lovely ladies.” Harper looked at me and giggled and then looked at her mother who smirked and looked back at her computer. “Am I missing something?” “No rockstar go make me some music.” She smacked my ass and Tessa laughed. I felt my face turning red and quickly walked out the door. As I was shutting it behind me I heard Harper whisper, “That’s his stage smile. The one that says I’m the shit ladies without a word.” “Confident.” Tessa whispered back. “For good reason.” With that I felt grinned to myself and walked away. I walked into the kitchen smiling as my parents were sitting at the bar looking at blue prints. “That was quick.” I stood over Mom and looked at them. “Wow that’s impressive.” “Your father ordered them online. We are going to scale it down a bit.” She looked up at Dad eyebrows raised. I looked at him as his eyebrow arched. “We need all those rooms love.” “For what?” He smirked and she gasped and then looked up at me as her face turned red. “Excuse me for a moment.” Dad was blatantly staring at her ass when she left the room. He slowly turned towards me and smiled. “What’s up Maddox?” “You sure you can focus?” “She is very lovely.” “Jesus Dad.” “Please Maddox you feel the same about Harper.” “I don’t openly eye fu…” “Like hell you don’t.” He laughed loudly. I didn’t argue. I’m sure it was apparent that I couldn’t stand being away from her. Of course it was. Fuck who am I kidding and who the hell was I? “Fine but she’s Mom okay?” He nodded and took a sip of his tea. “I need to work. I have to get shit in order and hope that Tessa agrees to schedule.” “Have you written anything or do you want to just use my stuff?” “Yeah I write all the time. I’m just not sure it’s—appropriate.” “Emma’s going up to Syracuse to see what dresses she can find for her and the girls for the wedding. Maybe Tessa and Harper would like to go.” “They don’t need anything fancy. It’s just going to be a small intimate family only ceremony and then we’ll go to dinner or something.” “Small? Maddox think about that. If only close family attends you’ll have at least fifty people there. Add to that the fact that it’ll be here. Everyone in this town feels they know Harper’s family. In reality they do.” I must have looked openly confused for a moment and Dad laughed. “Let’s go over the tour schedule.
You do what you can no pressure, you have a lot going on.” Dad walked into the living room and grabbed a notebook, pen and his phone. “I wanna pull my weight around here and take care of my family. I won’t leach off anyone.” “I never thought you were. Look I know how much money you made when selling your house Maddox, I’m more than sure you’re financially secure.” “I can’t sit around all day. What would Harper think?” “I’m sure Harper doesn’t feel that I’m a slug Maddox. I work smart, not hard. The payoff is I enjoy my life now on my schedule. You can do the same.” “So that’s it? I write when I want and play a dozen concerts a year for the rest of my life?” “You forgot that you’ll be able to be with the woman you love and your children. No greater reward in life.” I just looked at him with what I assume was a blank expression. “Nothing better Maddox. I promise.” He pulled out his phone. “Two weeks from today you’ll get married. The week before that we have a gig at The Times Union Center in Albany. It’s a Friday night thing. I plan on going up Thursday night. Friday during the day, the crew sets the stage. We can do a run through in a couple hours. Then go relax until we do a two hour gig. We head back to the hotel after. Sleep the night and then head home Saturday morning. The next gig isn’t until a month later. During that break we write our asses off. Practice in the studio we are building at the new house and in April we have four shows. June three…” “What about May?” “You were getting married in May so I didn’t schedule anything. Things will be different with our band than it was with Burning Souls. We’re established and work very well together. Our crew has been with us for years. Not one of us has to work anymore but we love what we do so we continue.” “Okay can you message me the dates so I can discuss this with Harper and Tessa?” “Discuss what?” Harper walked in and sat next to me. Tessa sat next to her. “Tour scheduling not clashing with hand over dates.” The four of us sat at the dining room table and somehow made the schedule mesh very well. Tessa had a five week plan but somehow Harper had convinced her to slow it down and not put so much pressure on herself. I assumed Tessa did it so that it wouldn’t tire Harper out but either way it worked. By Memorial Day weekend all international communities would be handed over to those who would take care of them. There were five US neighborhoods that Collin and Tessa had oversaw funding, development and medical for the residents. They were much different than the international communities. The decision between Harper and Tessa was to continue the work with them after discussing with Matthew and CJ. Harper received an email back from her professor allowing her to finish the program remotely and asked that she pick one location and explain how funding is raised to begin such a venture and what it takes to keep it going. She would have to bust her ass to get it done and I assumed her mother would be helping with the task of doing so. Harper and Tessa did decide to accompany my mom and sisters on the dress finding adventure. I wasn’t pleased but Tomas and Clive were going as well. Harper started to object and I exerted my authority as her soon to be husband and put her pretty little ass in check. The demand naturally ended with a ‘please’ which made her smile and feel that she had some sort of say in it. This is fine with me but manners are important. What I hope she doesn’t understand is that agreeing or not it didn’t matter one bit to me, it would have happened. Dad and I worked on a song I had written while in London. He set up his computer to record it. Just so we could see how it would play out. He counted to three and began strumming away and I sang Same Black Cloud. Pain inside. I was a broken man.
I saw this girl. I could never have. Smile fades. The clouds roll in. Night fears claim. Wrecked again. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you. No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Out the window. The rain it falls. Dark looms but I still stand tall. In front of you. I take control. Back stage whispers. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you. No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Nothing matters. But this fucking song. I share with you. You take it all. You scream my name. Consumed my friends. I strum this bitch and you come again. Thunder rolls in not loud. Darkness clear to me. Life’s not always what you see. High on you you’re high on me. There’s only all of you here with me. Thunder rumbling high. Music soars up to the sky. No stars to see. Nothings clear to me except the songs filling in the misery. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you. No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you No bright days ahead. The stadium calls. Same dark cloud hanging over me is hanging over you. No bright days ahead. The stadium calls.
After listening to it once we knew it was a go. “Crowds gonna love it Maddox.” “I thought so.” “Anything else you feel strongly about?” “Not yet but I’m working on a couple others. With Harper working from home maybe I’ll be able to focus.” “Great. Now let’s talk about the lineup.” We sat for a few hours going through the lists of top hits from The Brody Hines Band. He wouldn’t add any from before Emma came into his life. He didn’t want to add any from before I had either but his song about London was one I loved. He and I split up the song making it a bit of a duet. It was amazing working with not only my father, but the first band I ever heard that I felt a connection to. Little did I know back then why I felt that way. It had been years since Dad and I jammed together and felt the connection again. His encouragement and love for his art, one that I loved more than I cared to admit. Music was part of me. Not as much as Harper was. I would have walked away from it all together but she knew more clearly than I just how much it meant to me.
This tour was going to be a clash of old and new. It would give the fans what they previously loved and more to look forward to. It was going to be perfect not only because I would be performing again but I would be doing so with my father. And off stage would be the other half of my soul. Our lives would never be traditional and I felt badly about doing that to her. She deserved the white picket fence; the two and a half kids, the dog and a man who would walk through hell for her time and again if necessary. I only hoped it wouldn’t come to that ever again. We cannot change the past but we can learn from it and still look forward to a future filled with dreams coming true and abundant love. Love— once a foreign concept brought to the light of day. Unperceivable events clouded the dream of feeling it truly. But now as I sit with the man who brought me out of the dark and look forward to the light that is Harper and our future together my heart is full and spilling over. I looked at the clock on my phone and realized Harper had been gone for four hours. I was ready to call her when Dad walked back in the room with sandwiches. “Oh and one more question. How does Harper feel about the song Fuck You?” I laughed, “Why?” “It’s been watched on Utube ten million times.” “It’s not a good …” “Hear me out. After your child is born Maddox you’ll want to take time off. Who am I kidding, I want to take time off and I haven’t toured in a long time. That song would sell a million copies. You wouldn’t have to…” “Do it Maddox.” I spun around and saw Harper walk into the room. She set her purse on the counter and smiled. “Just do it.” “It was a shit thing to do to you.” “It was a long time ago.” “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She smiled, “I think it’s great. Think of it as your song to all the chicks out there that think they can get a piece of what’s mine. Just change it to F you or screw you? “ “Screw you is good.” Dad watched as Mom walked in. “For god sake Dad.” It was obvious more so now than ever before the way he looked at Mom. “Oh okay captain obvious you think you’re any different?” He turned to Emma who looked confused. “He thinks I eye bang you all the…” “I don’t think, you do…” “As do you son. Come here Em.” Dad patted his lap and she shook her head no. Harper walked over and plopped down wiggling herself around to get comfortable. She leaned her back against my chest and looped her arms over her head reaching behind my neck and linking her fingers. “Leave them alone.” She looked back at me and puckered her lips. I kissed her and wrapped my arms around her. I rested my cheek against the top of her head and took in her scent and she laughed, “Miss me?” “Yeah I did.” Tessa and the girls walked in and Tomas and Clive followed with dress bags. “Did you find something?” “Yeah I did. We all did.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “May I see?” “NO!” London snapped. “On the day of. Not before got it Maddox? It’s bad luck.” “Well we wouldn’t want any of that now would we?” “Alright ladies, lots of work to do. We have a wedding to plan. Two weeks from today.” Tessa
seemed to be in a much better mood which made me very happy. Harper turned on my lap pressing against Thumper who was starting to stiffen. “We’re gonna move back in here if that’s alright?” “Whatever you want is fine you know that.” “Electricians called Mom and it’ll be a couple weeks unless it’s an emergency.” “Harper say no more. I’m good with it. At least we’ll have a door on our room now.” “Yeah that’s a good thing.” “I’m going to install a lock. No need for our family to walk in on us.” “Why? Oh hey there mister slow down I have an idea. I was thinking we could wait until our wedding night to…” “No. Fuck Harper are you trying to kill me?” “It would be sweet and…” “No. That not an option. Just get it out of your head.” “Maybe you could think…” “Maybe you should stop thinking about it.” She giggled and kissed me. “I’m going to do some girl stuff.” “Yeah? Well then I will head up and grab our things.” “No Maddox I can help. Just wait for me.” “Harper we really haven’t got a lot there. We’ve never settled in you know. Maybe soon we could talk about what our living arrangements will be before next winter.” “We have lots of time.” “Okay Sweetness.” She looked at me for a moment before saying, “Don’t you do anything about that either without me or I will be pissed.” There was something about Harper talking trashy that turned me on. Even just the word pissed got me thinking about being in her. “Maddox.” “I heard you. I wouldn’t dare.” She stood up and turned giving me a very nice little kiss before walking down into her parents office.
It was the day before the concert and we were all just arriving at the hotel. Tessa even came with us. This would be the first real concert she had been to of mine and I would definitely be anxious to not only hear but be able to see how she felt about my career choice. She had the same expressive eyes Harper did; neither one could hide emotion well or pull off bullshit and I was glad of that. After checking into the hotel and having dinner we all decided to call it an early night. Harper hadn’t gotten sick in over a week but she was completely exhausted by five. It was now seven and watching her try to stay awake was adorable. “Ready to sleep?” “No, when Mom’s done in the bathroom I’m going to take a shower and see if I can stay awake for a couple more hours. We’re going to address the envelopes for the wedding.” “It’s a week away is that really necessary?” “Yes. I want whatever we can pull off that resembles traditional.” Tessa walked out yawning. “Tired Mom?”
“Yeah actually I am.” Her phone chimed and she pulled it out of her pocket. She smiled and responded before walking into her room. I sat down and pulled out my ear buds to listen to the lineup for tomorrow. It was memorized but I still needed to be sure. It had been since September that I had been on stage for a performance other than the one at the Today show. Six months was a long time. Harper walked out and smiled. She sat at the table with her mother filling out cards. I pulled out one of the ear pieces and offered help. They agreed and I sat next them at the table. I was given a list of about twenty people and a black thin tipped pen. As I began addressing the envelopes I noticed the invitations. The front was the back of a couple kids holding hands. This Day I Marry My Friend was written in script. I looked over at Harper whose hair was pulled on top of her head in the sexiest little bun and smiled. “I cannot wait.” She smiled and blushed and quickly went back to work. Harper pointed to my envelopes and smiled. “What?” “Your writing is better than mine.” “Not true.” Tessa looked over. “Oh my goodness, you have beautiful handwriting Maddox.” “Well thanks I guess.” I continued addressing envelops laughing inside at the fact that I may possibly need a few male friends. I was quickly tuning into an honorary chick. We finished in less than an hour and both Tessa and Harper looked spent. There was a knock at the door and when opened it, London rushed in and looked around. “Maddox. Lexi and I want to go swimming and Mom says no.” “Do they know where you are?” “Yeah.” Her voice squeaked and she held up the ice bucket. “Getting freaking ice.” I heard Harper giggle as she walked up behind me. “London is that your way of asking him to take you?” “Geesh finally someone gets it.” She rested her hand on her hip and looked at me. “So?” Harper yawned. “I can go.” “You’re tired.” London huffed and I looked at her. “I’ll take you and Lexi but an hour tops. Now get your butt back to the room I’ll call in five minutes.” London smiled and stood on her tip toes and gave me a loud kiss on the cheek and quickly walked out the door. I looked at Harper. “What the hell is up with her?” “She’s growing up. You know hormones. She’s even growing boobs. We bought a ….” I covered my ears I didn’t want to hear anymore. Harper pulled my hands away laughing. “She even has her period.” “Enough. I don’t want to hear another word.” I tried to cover my ears again and she held my hands down. “Boobs, periods, she’s almost fourteen….” “She’s seven. London is a sweet seven year old little girl whose heart is the biggest I had ever seen. She is…” “Growing up.” “God help us. This isn’t good.” “How much do you wanna bet there’s a hot lifeguard down…” I walked away and she followed laughing and carrying on. Tessa looked up when we walked into the room. “Everything alright with London?”
“Tell Maddox she’s growing boobs and…” I turned and grabbed her by the hips and lifted her over my shoulder swatting her on the ass. “Say goodnight to your mom Harper.” They both laughed as Harper said goodnight. I dropped her onto the bed gently and looked at her smiling. “Go to sleep when I get back I’m going to be all over you.” “Oh you are are you?” “Yep.” I dropped my pants and stood long enough that she could catch a glimpse of Thumper before turning around and walking to the suit case to grab my trunks.
When I got back she was asleep. As much as I wanted inside her, I wanted her to sleep. I dropped my trunks and crawled into bed and curled my body around her holding her. I had done laps while London and Lexington swam. I was exhausted and fell into a peaceful sleep next to my Harper.
I was edgy all day. Tense and anxious. “You are so cute today.” I turned and looked at her like she had lost her mind. “What? You are. I don’t get to see you like this often. It’s a treat.” “Cute?” “Very cute. Like a little puppy that can’t wait to be pet.” “You’ll see not so cute after the show Harper.” “Really?” she laughed. “Your hot little ass better be in the dressing room as soon as I’m done.” She looked at me oddly and then smiled her polite smile. I had no idea what was going on in her mind but I was gonna burst if I didn’t relieve some stress. “You should take a nap. I’m going to use the fitness center get rid of some of this tension.” “Sounds good.” I turned and looked at her, “You okay Sweetness?” “Fine, just tired.” She crawled up into the bed and pulled the blankets up. “Okay. I’m gonna head down. Then come back and shower.” I bent down and gave her a kiss. “Love you Sweetness. Be back soon.”
Harper was still asleep when I got out of the shower. Tessa told me she had talked to Harper after I left to work out and she was very tired and talked about riding with Emma, the girls and I do the concert tonight. “She alright?” I began to get nervous about her health. Tessa smiled, “She’s pregnant Maddox.”
I had to stop myself from snapping. “Her body just needs more rest right now. She’ll be fine. So will you.” “Has she eaten?” “She will when she’s hungry. We should just let her rest.” I agreed and Tessa seemed satisfied. She went into the bathroom and I immediately ordered dinner. Pasta and steamed vegetables seemed to be her favorite as of late. I also ordered steak hoping like hell she would eat some of it. I opened the closet and picked out my clothing for tonight and thought about shaving but quickly decided against it. I went into the bathroom and changed into my pants and the tee shirt that would be under the shirt Harper hand picked out. She begged for skinny jeans and I was adamant about not wearing them. They crushed my balls and I certainly didn’t need that while performing. I heard a knock at the door and quickly walked out of the room hoping it wouldn’t wake up sleeping beauty. Fuck she’s beautiful and all mine. I brought dinner to the table and Tessa walked out from her room and smirked. “There’s enough for all of us. If she wakes up and isn’t hungry she can eat before she comes to the show.” “Okay sounds good.” I looked back in the room and she was stretching. Her arms above her head tugged her shirt up just enough so that I could see her belly button. I immediately wanted to spill something in it just so I could drink from it. I walked in and watched as her eyelashes batted on her cheek as she started to open her eyes. She rolled to the edge of the bed and I knelt down beside it. I looked at the clock and had thirty minutes before I had to leave to go do sound checks. I knew she needed sleep but I wanted to see her, kiss her and feed her, anything she could spare before I left. She opened her eyes and smiled. “You smell good.” “Yeah?” “Uh huh.” She leaned over and kissed my neck. I heard her inhale and then she sat back. “You should wear that more often.” “Noted. I’ve always just worn it for shows. You know to mask the scent of sweat.” Her browse knitted together for a moment and then she laid back and looked at the ceiling. “You hungry?” “Not really.” “Would you come sit with me while I eat? I have less than 30 minutes and I want to chill with you. I know it’s selfish and you’re tired but I need this.” She nodded and sat up. “Of course.” “I can bring it in here.” “Where do you want to eat?” “Here’s good. I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” We sat and ate. She was very quiet and I was so worried about her I was happy with the fact that she ate the broccoli and squash and delighted that she let me feed her some steak. When she sat back I knew she was finished. “How are you doing? Did the worked help to calm you?” “A bit yes. And you? Did your nap make you feel better?” She looked at me apprehensively as if she was sorting something out. “Yeah.” I shoveled the rest of the steak in my mouth and set the plate on the nightstand. I moved behind her and pulled her back against my chest and held her, taking comfort in our closeness. “Maddox are you sure you’re alright?”
“Perfect right here like this. Maybe you could on stage with me.” She let out a sigh and I kissed her head inhaling her. “I’ll be there. I was thinking I could ride with…” “Your Mom already told me. Of course Harper whatever makes you comfortable.” “You sure?” “As long as I see your beautiful smile when I look off stage I’m sure. I just hope I don’t fuck up.” “You won’t. Besides I don’t think your fans would give a damn if you did. They just want to listen to the magic that comes out of your mouth and hope that they can get in line so you can.” She stopped and I felt her body tense. “You okay?” We were interrupted by a knock on the door. Tessa opened it and walked in. “Your Dad’s here and ready Maddox.” “Thanks I’ll be right out.” I moved from behind her and gave her a hug. “See you soon?” She smiled. “Kick ass rockstar.” “We shall see.”
I stood back stage with Dad listening to the opening act Unassisted a UK Indie band he found on YouTube. They were actually pretty damn good. I looked around and didn’t see Harper yet. I grabbed my phone to see if she had text and she hadn’t. “You hear from Emma?” “They’re on the way. Relax and enjoy Maddox. They have two more songs and then we can go dazzle the crowd.” I looked back to stage and watched them finish they’re next song. Where the hell was she? The last song was about to end when two hands wrapped around me from the back one going up my shirt and resting against my speedy heart. I turned my head and looked behind me. “This only happens with me right?” “Yeah.” I held her hands against me and turned around. She was wearing a shirt that said ‘I fancy the lead singer’. “I like the shirt.” “Sorry were late. Traffic was insane.” Unassisted walked off stage and up to Dad. They thanked him and shook his hand. One of the guys looked Harper up and down and smirked. “Should we entertain while you’re onstage?” I felt rage building up and I took a step towards him. Harper grabbed the back of my belt. “Does she have a name?” He asked. “Mine, that’s her fucking name,” I poked him in the chest. “Maddox.” Harper moved in front of me. “I’m Harper. Maddox’s fiancée.” She stuck out her hand and he held it up and kissed it. “Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” “Are you fucking heedless? Your lips touch her again and I will tear them the fuck off!” “Maddox everything alright?” “Fuck no this idiot…” “Everything is fine Brody.” Harper took my hand and pulled me away from the idiot that I should have
beat half to death. She didn’t say anything. She stood in front of me and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She placed my hand on her belly and leaned up seeking a kiss. I kissed her. When she began to pull away I caught her lower lip between my teeth and she leaned in again. Holding her calmed me but I still needed to be sure that fuck stayed away for her or this audience would be getting a bigger show than they hoped to see here tonight. Beginning with me wiping the stage with his damn face. I kissed the back of her head when Dad tapped my shoulder. “It’s go time Sweetness. Stay with the girls or I may flip the hell out.” I nodded to Surge and looked for Tomas who gave me a nod. I looked for Clive and he was standing behind London and Lexington who appeared far less enthusiastic than normal kids would be at a show like this. The lights darkened further on stage and I grabbed my guitar, my bitch. I turned and gave Harper one last kiss and the gong sounded once. The band rushed on stage. The gong sounded again and Dad went out as I stood waiting for the third gong. “Hello Albany!” He yelled and the crowd went ape shit. “Thanks for having us here tonight. We are the Brody Hines Band.” He gave them time to let out the deafening screams. “I’m Brody Hines and I’m Back from the Dead!” The band started to play and Dad sang to his fans. Standing in the wing you could see the entire stage and the front VIP section. I motioned to Surge and asked that he bring Harper a stool so she could sit and watch. I wanted to be able to see her when I was out there. The song ended and the third gong sounded. “We have a new member joining us not only on this tour but as an official part of the band. Raise your hands in the air for Maddox Hines!”
CHAPTER TWENTY The Stage
Harper As Maddox took stage the screams grew louder than I could have imagined. I even covered my ears trying to block some of the noise. I looked at my mom who sat next to me on a stool Surge had brought out. We both smiled and then quickly looked back so we wouldn’t miss a thing. Emma sat next to me. “Where are the girls?” “Dressing room.” She yelled over the screaming crowd. “You never know what Brody is gonna pull. Being out there is like a high to him.” Brody began singing London’s song and I reached over and grabbed Emma’s hand and she smiled. When they finished they waited for the crowd to die down and Maddox strutted slowly up to the microphone. He raised a fist in the air and the crowd went wild. “How you doing out there tonight?” The response was another deafening thunder of applause and screams. He pushed his guitar around to his back and began adjusting the microphone. “Give me just a minute. Gotta adjust this a bit.” He stopped and ran his hand down his stomach and grabbed between his legs. “I’m a little bigger than the other Hines.” The crowd went wild and Maddox smiled that cocky smile and bit his lower lip. That look could ignite wet wood. It worked on me every time. He looked off stage searching for me. Our eyes met and his jaw clenched and he licked his lips. Gawh! I looked at Mom and she was looking down wide eyed. Brody sauntered up to him and looked down. “How much you wanna bet boy?” Brody put his guitar pic between his teeth and started to unbuckle his pants. I gasped and looked at Emma who just shook her head and looked away. I looked to Mom and she nodded so that I would look back on stage. Maddox was unbuckling too. I had no idea what to expect. But within two second three bras landed at their feet. “What have we here” Brody lifted one with his boot. “Looks like some type of cover.” Maddox joked. “Perfect ‘cause I got nothing on under these pants.” “Commando?” Brody gave him an atta boy look and then pulled out his waist band a little bit and looked at himself—down there. “Like father like son.” The crowd screamed. I heard some of them cheering Tag Team! I want some of that! Maddox! Brody! Fuck me! You’re so hot! Maddox winked at the front row. “You wanna see it?” The whole stadium erupted. He laughed and then stood eyes moving slowly over the crowd. I’m sure they all thought he was looking at them. Of course I wondered that too. “Hell no! I don’t think so!” The band began to play the first song Maddox ever sang about me. The song formally known as Fuck You. Maddox danced as he sang. Swaying his hips and grinding suggestively. The crowd was practically on fire and Maddox was in his glory. Maddox and Brody were amazing as the front men of their own bands but together it was astonishing. Seeing them work together smiling, and encouraging one another, made my heart swell. The show ended with Maddox and Brody singing Stained. Maddox was so amped up when he came off stage that he tore his shirt off and wiped his sweaty face off. He dropped his shirt and stormed towards me. He lifted me up and I grabbed ahold of his shoulders afraid I would fall. His mouth crashed over mine and he growled into it. After he had tasted me he pulled back resting his forehead against mine. His eyes where the darkest
shade of blue I had ever seen. “What did you think?” He asked as his hands kneaded into my ass. I smiled. “It was great. You were amazing.” “Yeah. I was thinking about you and me maybe hitting the bathroom in the dressing room. I thought about fucking you against the wall the entire time I was out there.” “Maddox,” I whispered in his ear. “Our family is here.” “They should leave.” He was being dead serious and when I laughed his eyebrows shot up. I wiggled out of his arms and he groaned in protest. I looked at Emma who was standing five feet from a sweaty Brody Hines who was staring at her unapologetically and unashamed. She gave me a knowing look and shook her head. I stood up on my tip toes and whispered into his ear, “I thought blowjobs were your after show thing.” “That’ll work.” He grabbed my hand and started walking toward the dressing room. “At the hotel.” He stopped and turned around. “Sweetness, you’re killing me.” “I promise to make it up to you.” He looked at me. “Promise?” “I want you as much. The whole time you were out there I was thinking about our first time.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”
Back at the hotel I chatted with Mom while Maddox showered. When we heard the bathroom door shut in our room Mom excused herself and went to bed. Maddox was back in the bathroom when I walked in and shut the door quietly. I removed my pants and tied the black lead singer tee up on the side so that it exposed my midriff. I pulled off my panties and put on a black lace lingerie belt and garters snapping the thigh high stockings to them. I took the clip out of my hair and shook my hair so it was full and sexy. Last, I slipped into a pair of heels. I looked in the mirror and hardly recognized the person staring back at me but she was sexy. I heard a gasp and looked up at a towel clad beautiful rock star. He stood with his jaw dropped. I couldn’t see his eyes in the dimly lit room. When he didn’t move and I began becoming uncomfortable. I let out a held breath. “Bad idea.” I started to turn and he stalked toward me. “Please don’t you move,” his voice quivered and deep. “Okay.” He turned me back so I was facing the full length mirror and closed his eyes letting out a breath. His head moved slowly towards me as he licked his lips. One hand stayed on my hip and the other pulled my hair to the side exposing my neck. He looked in the mirror at me as he licked at an agonizing slow pace from my shoulder until he reached my earlobe and he let out a soft groan as he licked up the shell of my ear. His open mouth grazed the side of my face as his hand ran slowly from my hip until it was between my legs cupping me. We both watched as his long thick finger spread me and he rubbed slowly up and down my now wet lips. “Sweetness you are absolutely stunning.” He kissed me and pushed his finger just inside of me. I felt his erection on the small of my back and pushed into it. He lifted his hand and licked his fingers and moaned. “So damn good.”
His hand moved down and his slide one and then two fingers into me. My knees buckled slightly and his free hand wrapped around my waist. I stood nearly weeping at the slow lazy movement giving me such pleasure. My hips moved into his hand and he hissed. “That’s it Sweetness, show me what you need.” He released my waist and took my hand and placed it over his hand that was still working me. “Guide my hand. Show me what you want.” I closed my eyes and rested my head against his shoulder as I guided his hand. His tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth for him knowing he wanted to taste me. Feast on me. “I’m gonna need to lick your pussy like this Sweetness.” His hand pulled away from me leaving me abruptly empty. I groaned in disapproval. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. He stepped back and pulled the seat away from the end of the bed so it was facing the mirror. “Have a seat and spread your legs wide for your man Harper.” I did as he asked. And he stepped aside. “Look at that pretty little pussy in the mirror sweetness. Give it a pet for me.” I looked up at him ready to tell him no. “There’s nothing we don’t share or do for each other. I wanna see you rub your pussy Sweetness now.” I took a deep breath and he took a firm hold on his cock and started to stroke himself up and down. I swallowed hard wanting desperately to have him in my mouth so I did as he asked. “Don’t touch your clit Sweetness. That’s mine.” He positioned himself behind me still stroking himself and rubbing his tip against my cheek. I turned and licked him and he hissed. I turned and saw our reflection in the mirror. Me touching myself as he stroked his cock as he watched me. “Fuck look at you. So damn beautiful and all mine.” He let go of himself and reached over me and lifted my shirt over my head. “Lead singer fancies you as well but he loves to see those beautiful tits. Lift your arms. This needs to come off.” I lifted my arms. He walked in front of me and knelt between my legs. “Spread as wide as you can. I need to taste you.” He pulled my chin down with his thumb and then knotted his fingers in my hair. He licked slowly inside my mouth. He tasted like bottled water. Clean, fresh, and oh so crisp. I loved when he tasted me— everywhere. He let go of my hair and licked his way down to my breasts. His tongue flicked over my puckered aching nipples. He sucked lightly on the left and then the right. I gasped and he groaned sucking one into his mouth again. My body was rigid as my desire built. I couldn’t close my legs because he was positioned between them and I wouldn’t want him anywhere else. I looked up and watched his reflection as he moved down my body. The way his muscles flexed on his beautiful body. The way his back arched when he groaned. God his ass was magnificent. The visual, the sounds of desire escaping both of us mixed with my body igniting made this the most erotic sexual experience of my life. His head moved lower as he is licking and sucking hungrily between my legs. One hand toyed with my nipple and his other was between my legs moving his fingers inside of me. “Maddox.” I moaned and he looked up continuing his deep tongue thrusts between my folds. “Mmm.” He groaned against me as his licks became more forceful. “I’m gonna…Oh god!” His fingers pushed into me faster as I fell apart in his hand and mouth. Watching myself. Maddox stood and pulled me up and walked us behind the low back chair. “Bend over for me Sweetness. Ass high in the air.” I glanced up and saw him behind me. He was squeezing my ass spreading me wider. He looked up into the mirror.
“Look at you. Damn Sweetness how did I get so lucky?” I closed my eyes and he ran his finger from my clit all the way up me until his finger pressed against my rear. “I’m gonna have that someday Sweetness. I need it.” He bent down and licked me there. His hands spread me wider and his tongue ran from my still pulsing pussy to my ass. “Fuck. Every part of you.” He moved up my body nipping my ass. He pushed his finger inside me. “You little pussy is still swollen Sweetness. Every time you come before I’m in you you’re so tight you strangle me. Fuck I won’t last long. You’re so wet. You ready for me Sweetness?” “God yes.” I pushed into his hand. He rubbed himself up and down my opening and groaned. I watched as his jaw clenched and he pushed in my just a little. He pulled back. “No.” I whimpered. He smiled as he looked in the mirror. “I wanna watch you watch me fall apart.” He pushed into me hard and then back. One hand stayed on my ass as he rubbed me in that spot. I felt him push down and I watched as his teeth barred with need. I lifted my ass to him wanting to give him what he wanted. He quickly looked up in the mirror. “Not too much.” “Nice and easy Sweetness. Nice and fucking easy.” His thrusts hastened and I was on edge again. His finger pushed into me and I gasped. “Too much?” “To full. Oh God Maddox I’m gonna come.” “Just a fingertip. I won’t go any further.” His voice was husky and filled with need. “Tell me does it feel good?” “Yes damn it but no more.” I pushed into his cock. “Greedy little thing. I’ll give it to you Sweetness. You just keep that fine ass up in the air as I pump you full and overflowing. Sound good?” “Oh yes please.” I whimpered. He reached around in front of me tweaking my nipples as he dove deeper, harder and faster inside of me. “Oh…Yeah…Fuck…Beautiful…Sweetness…Hell yes… Awe…Love you…so …much.” He pulled me up and laid me on the edge of the bed. He withdrew leaving me empty and rolled me over and held himself over me guiding himself inside me once again. “Need to taste you when I come.” I fell apart again and he stilled but only for a moment and then he moved faster and faster until he came with a roar. I lay on the bed feeling wilted, covered in sweat and sticky nearly everywhere. Maddox still hovering over me licking and kissing me as he panted against my chest. He lifted his head and looked at me. “You alright?” “Uh…huh.” “How do you feel?” “You tell me.” He leaned down and nibbled on my neck as he chuckled. “Damn good.” “I liked the mirror.” “That was hot Sweetness. I want them everywhere in our bedroom.” He rolled to his back and took my hand and kissed it. “Smells like you. Insane how good you taste and smell.” “You to.” I rolled to my side and looked at him. He chuckled. “What?” “Last time you tasted me you threw up.”
“Is that why that was left out of tonight’s performance?” He kissed my hand again and stood up. “Maddox. Answer me please.” “I’m gonna grab a washcloth and clean you up don’t you move.” I flopped back on the bed and waited for him. He began to clean me and I let him partially because I loved him touching me and partially because I couldn’t move. “Maddox?” “What Sweetness?” “I’m going to suck you off whenever I want or you…” “You can’t say suck me off Harper. And don’t you even think about finishing that sentence. I will taste you whenever I please.” “Hmm.” He looked up and smiled. “You’ll nap all day everyday won’t you?” “Why?” “Well it makes you a little minx in the sheets.” I laughed out loud and he smiled as he finished cleaning my body. He kissed me and stood up to take the washcloth in the bathroom. “I’m pretty sure it had a lot to do with watching you preform and needing to make sure you didn’t need to have your normal after concert treats.” He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me. He looked upset and then angry. “Is that why you were so off today?” I looked up at him and pulled the blanket over me. I rolled over on my side and wiggled lower under the blankets. “Harper I asked you a question.” “Yes. Okay. Yes! That song, how you acted all day, yes. Okay I’m tired.” I felt the covers being pulled completely off the bed and looked up at him. I covered myself with the pillow. “You’re a pain in the ass. What have I done to make you think for two bloody seconds that I am remotely interested in back stage blow jobs?” I didn’t answer him and he reached down and grabbed my ankle and pulled me down the bed. “Maddox!” He reached down and pulled me up. “Answer the damn question.” “You –you know.” I didn’t even know I have no idea what made me expect him too. “No I don’t so kindly tell me.” “Give me the blanket Maddox.” He dragged the blanket behind him and plopped down in the chair. “You’ll get it when you answer the question.” I stood on the bed pissed and removed the stockings and the garter belt and threw it at him. I jumped down off the bed and stomped to my bag. I grabbed my night shirt and put it on. I walked over and tugged on the blanket. He held firmly his look still outraged. I pulled the sheet down and crawled under. “You gonna answer me?” I sat up and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m pregnant. Hormones raging, exhausted, and now cold and very upset.” He stood up and pointed to the pillow. “Lay down.” I did and he covered me up. He laid in bed and huffed a few times before whispering. “When you
figure it out let me know so I don’t hurt you again.” “You didn’t do anything. I told you already.” “The song pissed you off? I asked if it was alright.” “Not that one. The one about The Stage.” He rolled to his side and pulled me over so I was looking at him. “I wrote it a long time ago.” “I’m the black cloud.” “No life was Harper. I was my own worst enemy at that time. Tell me to cut it and I will. Tell me what to do to not make you ever doubt my love for your and I will do it immediately.” “I watched Emma’s reaction to Brody on stage tonight. That helped.” “Helped? I don’t understand.” “They all want you. You entertain them. But still there’s some bitch out there that wants you. It pisses me off.” He smirked, “Awe so you’re jealous.” “Yeah I am. And you like it?” “I’m not gonna lie. I do like it. Actually I love it that you want me and only me.” “I always have Maddox.” “Good. Don’t stop. My dick is yours. My heart is yours. The only after show treats I want happen to be between your legs.” I smiled and he did in return. “Oh and I want it like that after every show too.” “Like what?” “Lingerie. Lots of different outfits that I can have you in. My new and much improved after concert treat. I’ll start a collection.” I yawned and he pulled me closer. “You were pissed.” I giggled. “Hell yes I was. I worried about you all day. Your mom assured me you were just tired but I still worried.” “You didn’t touch me today.” He looked down as I looked up at him. “Sweetness I would have torn you apart.” “You were amped up.” “Hell yes I was. Do you realize I was fucked up during most of my shows?” “No.” “I needed something to calm me down.” “But not anymore?” “Nope. I have you. That’s all I ever needed.” “Then that’s all you’ll ever have.” He kissed my head. “Good night Sweetness, I love you.” “Good night Maddox, I love you.”
I woke to Maddox’s arms surrounding me with one hand in my hair the other holding my ass. I looked over at the clock and it was nine in the morning. I didn’t want to move so I didn’t. I nuzzled into his neck and fell back to sleep. I woke to a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Mom standing over me covering her eyes. “Mom?”
“Yeah sorry. We have to check out in an hour. Breakfast will be here in a couple minutes.” “Thanks Mom and sorry about this.” She smirked and whispered. “You’re right. He does have a nice butt.” I smiled and she walked out. “Sweetness am I awake or is this some sort of fucked up dream that your mother said I have a nice ass?” He let go of my hair and ass and grabbed my face and kissed in at least ten times. “You do have a nice ass.” “Yours is nicer.” “Breakfast will be here soon and I am starving.” “Yeah?” “Oh yes.” “Perfect.” I got up and saw two outfits laid out on the dresser and laughed. Maddox sat up and looked at the dresser. “She do this?” “She did.” “Can we keep her? She sets out clothes for us and thinks I have a nice ass. We have to keep her.”
We were an hour from home when my phone rang. “Hey Ava.” “Saturday? Like one week from today? Are you out of your mind? There’s so much to do!” “Nope nothing left to do but walk down the aisle and say forever.” “Hello we need a shower, a bachelorette party. We need our dresses.” “If you can be here next Saturday Ava I would love that. We have your dress and Riley’s. I understand you’re busy but…” “I’ll see you Friday. Mani, pedi’s and a girl’s night. Don’t even say no. I love you pain in my ass. I’m hanging up before you can object. Goodbye.” “Is she upset?” Mom asked. “Not angry just frazzled.” Mom smiled and nodded. It was quiet for a while. “Luke won’t be here.” I looked up at Mom and she continued. “She likes Luke Lane and he won’t be here.” “I never thought about it.” “Don’t. We still have a thing this summer at the Cape. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see him then.” “Liam can stand in.” Maddox snickered. “Maddox!” “What? She likes him too right?” He tried to play it off like he was clueless and I smacked his arm.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE Merged
Maddox I was sitting in little Switzerland surrounded by a bunch of men. How messed up is that? They were people who loved her and I suppose by default got me too. She insisted on this, well that pain in the ass Ava insisted and she agreed. She even agreed to us spending the night apart. Everyone was drinking and playing cards. Dad and I weren’t drinking; he still thought it was an alcohol problem that I had a year ago when I wrecked my car. It wasn’t, it was a shattered heart problem. Self-inflicted because I was fighting demons. “You ready for tomorrow?” Grandpa John asked. “Of course. More than ready.” He smiled. “She’s an amazing kid you know.” “I do.” More amazing every day. “I promise to take care of her John, always.” “If I ever doubted that, that doubt was erased when you saved her life. I could never repay a debt like that. You have earned my gratitude and respect. I hope to earn yours.” “You already have it. If not for you and your wife, Tessa and Collin here would not be a Harper. She is such a beautiful person. One I didn’t think I deserved but now I know I was put here for her. So thank you.” John smiled and nodded. “You ever think she was put here for you?” “And no one else.” John laughed, “Exactly. She’s gonna be a pain in the ass.” “She already is and I’d have her no other way.”
I was looking out the window when the door flung opened and in walked T. “I can’t believe you were gonna do this shit without me Hines.” I gave him a quick hug. “I wasn’t even thinking about…” “Anything but Harper. So nothings’ changed in the past three years huh?” “Not one damn thing.” “Except now you got the girl.” “And I will never let her go.” “Whipped.” “Hell yeah.” Dad cleared his throat. “Glad you could make it T.” He gave Dad a hug. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. You forget, I loved Harper for years too. If he didn’t get his shit together and I didn’t have a hard on for that little dark haired Goddess Ava, I’d be all over that girl.” “And I’d kill you.” Someone cleared their throat loudly and I turned to see a very annoyed Lucas glowering at T. “Hey Mr. Links. How are you?” T walked over and hugged him. Lucas stood unmoving looking at T. Grandpa John laughed and patted Lucas on the back. “Alright just as soon as Matthew and CJ get in we can get this party started.” “Didn’t know you were here Mr. Links. No disrespect intended.” Lucas nodded and turned back to Harper’s uncles who stood smirking at him.
“You deserve that shit.” Ben laughed. “Fuck you Ben.”
Everyone was present that was supposed to be by 9 that night. I saw the SUV pull down the drive. I went to walk out and Liam grabbed the back of my shirt. “She said no man. You have to wait until tomorrow.” If he wasn’t her favorite cousin I’d have kicked his ass. He must have known it too because he laughed and patted my back. T sat down next to me. “So as your best friend I am supposed to ask you if you’re sure about this. If there is any second guessing and if you think she can make you happy forever. I know you are and that she will so now I gotta ask who the fuck are all these people?” “Harper’s family, the only ones not related in some way is Lucas and his son Logan. You know them. So basically everyone in this room loves Harper and Ava, so watch it man.” “You could’ve warned me dude.” “I didn’t even know you were here.” “Yeah your Dad took care of it. Fucker still watches over me. I love it. Zach wanted to be here but he and Jazz…” “Claire.” I corrected. I couldn’t think of her as Jane or Jazz anymore. I would always carry guilt about that. I should have asked for help but at the time I couldn’t. I didn’t understand that I could ask for more than my newly found family had given me. They gave up so much to begin with. “I know. She’s doing great though. Matthew checks in with her pretty regularly.” “Matthew? Harper’s brother?” “Yeah. Just to see how she’s doing. Between you and I I’m pretty damn sure she is gonna be okay. Did you know she could sing?” “Nope.” I didn’t want to think about her and I’m sure he could tell. “Cool, so we have tuxes and the whole nine yards huh?” “That we do.” “So give me names.” He pointed at the group of men assembled in the cabin. “Uncles Ben, Kendall’s husband, their daughter Maggie is with the girls. Alex is married to Phoebe; their boys are Remington and Liam. Ryan is kind of an uncle but really a cousin. He’s Jade’s husband. Their sons are Luke, Jackson, Gabe, and their daughter is Riley. Molly and Josh have Sydney and Sam.” “All her family? How do you keep them straight?” “It’s important. Lucas and Ashley Links and their kids, Logan…” “And Ava.” “Yes and Ava.” “She have a boyfriend?” “You just saw her a month ago.” “Didn’t ask her. Didn’t have time.” “I don’t think she does, no.” “Perfect.” “T she’s family now.” “I get it, no worries.” The door swung open again and I about had a heart attack. Shakespeare and Bailey, our Saint Bernard’s, bound in followed by Grandpa Henry.
“Maddox we’re back.” I looked at Dad and shook my head. Damn he was full of surprises. “You brought my boy.” “Yep, they finally made it through customs and quarantine.” Shakespeare jumped up on me and nearly knocked me over. “Down boy.” I laughed as he licked my face. “Shake, get down you big baboon. Look at your sister.” Bailey was sitting next to Dad who had knelt down and was petting her. “Where’s Birdy?” I asked squatting down trying to avoid the tongue of my overly excited dog that I had horribly neglected for years now. He still loved me regardless of how seldom I had seen him. “Please tell me that damn thing didn’t make it through customs.” “Dad, Lexington would be a mess. She loves that cat.” “In the car with Caroline, purring and happy as hell.” Grandpa Henry patted my back. “You ready for tomorrow?” “Of course.” “Okay, I’ll be back after delivering Caroline and the animals down to Tessa’s place. Need anything?” “No Grandpa but maybe we could leave Shakespeare here. He may be a little too rambunctious.” “You don’t have to pretend you missed your dog. He certainly isn’t pretending.” Everyone started rolling out at around midnight. Liam, T, Jackson and Dad were staying with me tonight at camp. All would be standing up with me. Like Ava, Riley, London and Lexi would be standing up with Harper, my Harper. The pain in the ass I had immediately felt an attraction for. An attraction that took me forever to realize wasn’t a perversion but a fire that sparked from the first time I saw her. Burned into my very soul. I knew even then I would never be able to leave her alone. I tried, my God how I tried. I could have ruined her, I was afraid I had. I was willing to walk away even if it cost me my life. Without her it meant nothing anyway. But there was no way I could. I loved her like no other and I now know she feels exactly the same. I came out of my room and Dad was sitting on the couch texting. “Emma?” “Who else?” He replied as he patted the spot next to him. I sat down trying to figure out how to tell him how much I appreciated him. “I wanted to talk to you a bit.” “I’m here anytime.” “I know that. I am trying to accept that. I’ve accepted it from Harper.” I stopped. “I love you Dad. I am grateful for everything. My God look what you pulled off for me tonight. For me.” I shook my head from side to side. “T, Grandpa, the dogs. I’m just not use to it. I feel like I take from you giving nothing back and the guilt kills me.” “Giving is part of love. Be it in gifts or in support or as a child to a parent, a hug, a smile or appreciation. Maddox you gave all that immediately.” “Not enough.” “Not true. Not until you felt you had disappointed me. I know exactly the moment. It’s when we left for London.” “You understand it now right Maddox? That it’s what had to happen. I don’t regret it at all. You don’t just leave family.” “I took you away from them.” “All not within your control.” “Still hurts to know I made that happen.” “No you didn’t. That kid did. The one who dropped shit in your drink. Regardless, that’s in the past. Had that not happened Zach and Claire would never had found one another. So much would have
changed.” “Yeah, I still feel pretty bad about all of it, but thank you.” “Lots of things in my past I feel bad about too. But once you find love, the true kind, all is forgiven. Emma and that little pain in the ass London taught me that. It was intensified by Lexi and you. And now you are giving me the ultimate gift.” He looked around making sure no one was listening and winked. I knew he was talking about my child. “I will be a great father when that happens, because of you.” “Thanks, but let’s be honest here Maddox. You’ve always been a protector and caretaker.” “Well now I know how to do it effectively.” We sat and talked until two thirty in the morning. As I was ready to get up and go to bed dad checked his e-mail and laughed out loud. “What’s so funny?” “Check out Lila’s email.” I read it. Apparently Dad had sent in the revised Fuck you song and it was available for sale online. In one day it sold over a million copies. “That’s cool Dad.” “What’s cool is that it’s signed to no one and one hundred percent owned by you. Any idea what kind of cash that is?” “A lot?” “Hell yes a lot, about half a million dollars in a day. Pretty damn good huh?” “What the hell will I do with that kind of money?” “College fund for your kid. Feed a small village. Burn it. Doesn’t matter, it’s all yours.” “No it’s ours.” “No it’s not. Your song, your money.” “You can’t seriously believe that.” “The home that Emma and London lived in with Troy is London’s. She never paid for it but it is hers. Emma and I decided it.” He laughed. “London wanted to give it to Henry and Caroline. Maddox, they bought it from her. Sold their house in Terry Town and just tonight moved here. She didn’t want the money either so it sits in a bank account with the life insurance money she received from her father’s death. When she needs it or wants it she has access, at eighteen of course. I was poor and hungry once and so were you. I won’t allow that for any of my children or grandchildren.” I sat and looked at him. Not knowing what to say. “My boy is getting married tomorrow. He needs to sleep so he can, umm, function properly tomorrow.” “I assure you I can function properly.” “Aww now we’re talking.” I stood up. “No we’re not.” I laid in bed and Shakespeare jumped up next to me. “You better not get use to this boy. You’re in Harper’s spot.” He swatted me with his paw. “That shit stops too. And no jumping got it?” He panted and licked my face. I pet him until I thought I could fall asleep.
I woke to slobbering kisses and looked at the clock. It was eighty thirty in the morning. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my phone to see if Harper had texted me. She hadn’t. She was pretty damn insistent on
keeping us apart until we said I do. She hadn’t let me inside her since the night at the hotel; it drove me nuts but I gave in. My dick might not have been inside her but she had woken up every morning with my tongue between her legs and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. She didn’t complain, not one bit. She did try to repay the favor and I told her not until she let me inside. Both of us were as stubborn as the day is long. -Love you more Harper Ann Abraham. Cannot wait until I can officially say you are not only mine in heart and soul but legally as well. Please look under your bed. White box. It’s what I want you in tonight…Yours MH I waited for a reply and I got one. -Listen you stubborn Brit no contact until the I do’s or I’m gonna take that white box and chuck it in the pond! -Ava? T is here…MH -WHAT!!!! - You throw that in the pond I’ll tell him you have a horrible STD…MH My phone rang and I answered it. “You wouldn’t dare!” “You better not test that theory.” “You’re as much a pain in the ass as she is. God! I caught her trying to sneak out twice last night. And I’m holding her phone hostage!” I laughed and so did she. “Please see that she gets the message and tell her I cannot wait to see her and for her to become my wife.” I heard Ava sniff. “Ava are you crying?” “I’ll tell her.” She sniffed again. “Ava?” “What?” “Thank you.”
The church was the same place Collin’s service was held. The church Tessa was raised in and where Collin had proposed to her. The church Harper had attended since she was a child when they were here in her home town, now our town. We stood in a room in the sanctuary where Liam was pacing and T was laughing at him. “I have these pins I want us to wear.” I handed them teal ribbon pins. “I’d like us all to place them on our lapel. Its significance is child abuse.” “For Collin.” Liam nodded as he put it on his jacket. “Yes. I want him here for her.” “For Elizabeth too.” Dad applied his. “For all of us.” T put his on and looked at me. There was something haunted in his voice. Something I recognized, but he had never mentioned. Dad was in and out of the room. Apparently, Lexington wanted to be with me and he was trying to get her to stay with the ladies. “How did she take that?” I asked.
Dad laughed. “She stomped her little foot. Put her hands on her hips and said in the cutest little angry Lexi voice, I’m no lady Daddy. I asked her then what was she? Ticked off, that’s what I am! I told her God wouldn’t like her to act like that in church and she informed me God wouldn’t like me being a big fat bully either. That’s when I laughed and Emma scolded me for antagonizing her and made me leave.” “So you left Emma to deal with it?” “Yes I did. She’s much better at that kind of thing.” “Yet you deal with London better.” “Yeah, London and I have a much different relationship. She sees me as a hero and I sure as hell will not let her know the difference.” He laughed and so did I. Pastor Strotter walked in. “Are we ready?” “We are.” We said a prayer before T and Liam left leaving Dad and I alone. “As your father I should be giving you advice or something. But there is nothing I can tell you that you don’t already know. I’m very proud of you Maddox. Never happier for you than I am right now. I love you more than I can express and whatever you need from me, now and in the future, I am here.” I gave him a hug and thanked him. “I couldn’t have dreamed of a better man than you to be my father. Thank you for saving me.” Pastor Strotter opened the door. “Let’s go.” I stood in the front of the church next to my father. Music began to play, an acoustic version of Hunter Hayes Wanted. I smiled when I saw Lexi appear in the sanctuaries entryway. She stopped and gave me a big smile and spun around. Her light blue gown hit right above her shoes and flared out when she spun again and again. Everyone in attendance laughed. She stopped and fell right on her butt. She stood up quickly and huffed as she glared at the people in the pews and then very un-lady like and intentionally she stomped down the aisle and then ran up and jumped on me hugging me tightly. “Your butt sore?” I whispered. “A little, don’t you tell anyone.” “I wouldn’t dare.” “I wanna stand with you.” She looked over my shoulder and stuck her tongue out at Dad and he did it back. “How’s Harper?” “Beautiful. She was crying a little.” “Maybe she needs you to stand with her Lexi. Can you be strong for her?” She hopped down. “Yep.” She walked over and stood in her spot. She looked at me and lifted her shoulders. I gave her a wink and a thumbs up and she smiled. London was next, she wore a dress that looked like Lexi’s but it hit above the knee. She walked slower and her smile brightened the room. She looked amazing but a little too damn grown up for my liking. She looked in the pews while she walked. She looked a bit too long in one section. I looked over and saw Logan looking at her. She looked away and her cheeks started turning pink. London wasn’t a blusher except when that kid was around. I looked over at Dad and he rolled his eyes. “She’ll be the death of me,” he whispered. Harper’s cousin Riley walked in, same dress as London. She looked just like her mother Jade. And then was Ava. Her dress was the same. She smiled and held her head high a she walked in. She had on much higher heels than Riley because she wasn’t normally that tall. I wanted to look back and see the expression on T and Liam’s faces but Ava would probably cuff me. She smiled as she came to the front and then stopped and gave me a hug. “Love you like a brother
Maddox Hines.” The Wedding March started and I felt my heart begin to beat harder and faster. Tessa walked in and to the front of the church and stood next to her mother. CJ and Matthew walked in next. I was about ready to walk down the aisle and grab her myself when I saw her walking in. Grandpa John on one side and Tomas on the other. John looked the same as he always did. The man was so even tempered. Tomas looked like I imagined a father would. Like a man who was about to lose his daughter to me. Harper was an angel. Her dress was strapless and ball length. It wasn’t full of beading or lace. It was simple, elegant and absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was up on the sides and her curls were loose and cascading down the back. She wore a veil but it didn’t cover her face like I had thought. She looked at me and smiled as she walked towards me. I closed my eyes and thanked God for her. When I opened them she looked concerned and I smiled. A smile came from my soul. She immediately smiled her big beautiful smile and then she took in a breath and a small sob escaped. I walked towards her and met them half way. I couldn’t see her like that and not go to her. “Sweetness you okay?” “Yes. You look amazing Maddox.” “Beautiful isn’t a strong enough word to describe how you look.” She laughed and a tear fell. I hugged her. “Do I need to carry you down the aisle?” “No I wanna walk to you. Go.” “Whatever you want.” “Go,” she laughed. I walked back and stood waiting for her. I swear she was glowing. Like all the angels in the sky were shining down on her telling me how amazing she is; how full of love and life she is. I already knew but I wanted those angels to be here with us now and with her always. We exchanged tearful vows through laughs and hugs. It wasn’t a sad occasion, neither of us second guessing what we were getting into, we already knew. Pastor Strotter looked at me and nodded. Harper smiled when I stepped back and T handed me my hidden guitar. “This is for you.” Fearing you got too close seeing what’s on the inside of me. You came unafraid of what everyone else could see. Stained and forged together you came accepting I pushed hard afraid you’d wake up and realize you should be rejecting—me. You and me were meant to be. Nothing that I could have ever seen. Always thinking about you. Never stop thinking ‘bout you. Walls cracked as you opened your heart Giving your love regardless of what I did to tear it apart. You did it all because you love me A part of me knew but I was too blinded by demons to see You and me were meant to be. Nothing that I could have ever seen. Always thinking about you. Never stop thinking bout you. Acceptance of self led me back to you. Nothing ever felt so right or true. I will love you forever Fight it again not once not ever When you come home you’ll know you’re not alone I’ll be there to comfort you, hold my hand we’ll make it through
Our blessing comes from love we’ve lost, love we’ve found, love that will forever be true You and me were meant to be. Nothing that I could have ever seen. Always thinking about you. Never stop thinking bout you.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO Blurred
Harper I was smiling and crying as I stood listening to this beautiful man singing to me. He handed This guitar and walked to me shoving one hand in his pocket. He did that when he was feeling a little self-conscious. I took his hand, reach for the other and took it too. “I have something I want to say…” Matthew coughed, “Don’t do it.” I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him and Maddox laughed. “I’m not good at this whole public speaking thing but I want you and everyone here to know that I am the luckiest girl in the world. It’s been that way since birth. I had the most amazing father; I have one great brother.” Everyone laughed as I scowled at Matthew. “My family is amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better friend. I never thought to ask for more. I never thought this day would happen to me. I never dared ask for someone to love me, protect me, adore me and who would truly love me deeper than I could ever even imagine possible. Maddox, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I don’t want to question it because blessings are gifts from above. We found each other a miracle in itself. We fought for each other’s love through so much,” my voice broke and I stopped and smiled. He rubbed my cheek and I held my hand over his. “I know you’d do anything for me. I hope you know there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you. I love you and I will always. You were made for me and I was made for you. There is no other explanation for us ending up here after everything. I love you Maddox Hines.” He bent to kiss me and Pastor Strotter cleared his throat stopping him. Maddox closed his eyes and groaned. His jaw clenched and eyes opened. “I do.” He said and kissed me. I smiled and he pulled the back of my head to his and kissed me deeper. He stopped and ran his nose across mine. “I do.” I smiled. “Well by the power vested in me by God and the state of New York I now pronounce you husband and wife. Maddox you may kiss your bride.” “Oh I will.” Maddox grabbed me by the hips and lifted me up. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him. He started walking us down the aisle and I laughed. The pianist started to play music and Maddox picked up the pace carrying me while kissing my neck. He walked us into the bathroom and shut the door. “Last night killed me.” He kissed down my neck and nibbled on my shoulders. “Never a night apart again.” “Never.” I laughed. “This dress is stunning.” “It was my mom’s.” He stopped kissing me and leaned back. “You okay?” “Yeah.” I ran my finger over the ribbon. He smiled knowing I knew what it meant. He kissed me again. “Did you get my gift?” “I did.” “Show me.” “Maddox we’re in a bathroom at a church.” “We’re married now. I’m sure…” “Our family is waiting.”
He growled and nipped my ear. “Mrs. Hines.” I smiled so big it hurt. “That’s me.” “It is. You’re speech was beautiful. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for saying I do.” “We’ve to go out there.” I stuck my bottom lip out and he grabbed it with his teeth and sucked on it. “I love you.” “I love you—more.”
After an hour worth of family pictures we headed to the Lake Watch. Maddox smiled when we pulled in. “We’re doing this up big huh?” “Does that upset you?” “Not a bit. Well maybe a bit. I really wanna check out what’s under that dress.” “Oh I can’t wait for you to see.” He looked at me oddly and then smiled. The door opened and we got out. “We have four hours here and then…” “Four hours?” I looked stopped walking. “We don’t have to stay.” “You’ll nap when we get back. I’m already ready to be inside you and very thankful this jacket covers what’s going on in my pants right now.” I laughed and pulled him behind me. As soon as we walked in everyone started hugging us. Although we had just done this at church it was still very welcome. We hadn’t had a happy family gathering in a while. It was time. Tomas came up to me and took my hand. “I need just a few moments.” Maddox was talking to Brody and Emma and I followed him into the corner. “Have a seat.” Once I sat he pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to me. “It’s from your father. He wrote letters throughout the year in case he wasn’t around for things like this Harper. He wrote this after leaving Switzerland when he found out you were pregnant. I will stay while you read it or I can leave it’s up to you.” “Thanks. Stay please.” My hands trembled as I opened the letter. I held it against my heart and took a deep breath. Harper Ann, I hope to never have to have this delivered because selfishly I want to always be there for all the events in your life. If you’re reading this, God had other plans. If my life is over I am still with you don’t you ever forget that. Be my little soldier Harper. Live life to the fullest always. I don’t even have to wonder who it is that has stolen your perfect little heart I already know who it is that you’ll be saying those two words that bind people together for a lifetime to. Maddox Hines. My son in law. I see myself in him and have since the very first time I saw him. He will be a perfect match for you and you for him. I want you to remember that it’s hard for people like me and Maddox to open ourselves up to others but once we do it’s for a lifetime. I am so happy he has you and just as happy you have him. He and I may have gone round a few times but there is no better man for you. He will love you as fiercely as he fought to protect you from himself. You will never have to wonder if he loves you, he always has and I’ve known it since he was fifteen. Be patient with him Harper. You, my dear, are a lot like your Mom. Which brings me to your children. Love like she does, always love like she does. Forgive those who hurt you. Make peace with your brothers if they bother you. Hold everyone tight because tomorrow is never a guarantee. Choose to be happy. I need that for you.
Tomorrow. There is a tomorrow. All of us deserve that. Make sure you remember that when you have an argument, don’t go to bed angry or alone. Marriage is a lot of work but there is nothing more satisfying than true love that concurs all. You and Maddox deserve that just like everyone around you. And Harper I mean everyone baby girl. I am proud of who you are. I am proud that I am and always will be the father God gave you. I love you Harper. Congratulations. Love Forever, Dad
I looked up with tears falling down my face and saw Maddox standing over my shoulder. He leaned down and wiped the tears. “He knew I would marry you.” He closed his eyes and leaned down and gave me a kiss. “I’m supposed to live everyday being happy.” The music stopped and food was starting to come out. I folded the letter and handed it to Maddox. “Could you hold this?” He nodded yes and pulled out my chair. “Tomas, thank you for walking me down the aisle and for the letter.” I gave him a hug and a kiss and took Maddox’s hand. Dinner was great and boy did I eat. I was feeling bloated and tired when the music started and Ava dragged me out on the dance floor. She grabbed two glasses off the tray of the water passing by and handed me one. “Congratulations and cheers.” I froze and her jaw dropped. “Oh. My.” I covered her mouth and she started laughing. I pulled my hand back and she downed her first glass and then mine. “You better carry this empty around so no one else figures it out. When?” “We have an appointment Monday. We’ll find out then.” “Who knows besides you and the hot Brit?” “Mom, Emma, and Brody.” “Holy shit! Congratulations and fake cheers.” We clinked glasses and took pretend sips and we started laughing. Maddox was behind me immediately. “Sweetness?” Ava smacked his chest, “Wow that shits tight.” She smacked him again. “No wonder you keep getting knocked up. I drank hers hot stuff, she’s carrying around an empty for show. Secrets safe with the godmother, and yeah I’m calling it.” “Do not say a word Ava. Our siblings…” “I know or you’ll tell T I have a horrible STD.” Ava started laughing as she continued dancing. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and moved on to dance with Reily and my brothers. “You threatened her with that?” He smiled and grabbed me by the hips and pulled me against him and we danced. “She threatened to throw the gift in the pond.” I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. The song changed and Blurred Lines started playing. I set the glass down on a nearby table and backed up into my husband. I took his hands and held them up over my head and grinded against him. He let out a groan and I laughed. I let go of one hand and twirled myself around facing him and bit my lip. His eyes immediately darkened and he tried to grab my hips. “No way rockstar I’m a married women. Got the ring and all.” I held up my rings “And I’m a Good Girl.” I sang and he smiled. “Look but don’t touch.” I rotated my hips and ran my hand slowly up my neck and hair. I reached out and grabbed his tie. His eyebrow arched and I arched my back purposely pushing out my chest bending further back shaking my shoulders as I held onto his tie. Ava danced up to one side of me and Riley was on the other. We all laughed and I let go of his tie and started dancing together. Ava started singing and we joined.
“One thing I ask of you let me be the one you back that ass into. Yo, from Malibu, to Paribu Yeah had a bitch but she ain’t as bad as you.” They both pointed to me. “So hit me up when you passing through I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two.” We were dancing pretty nasty and I looked up and everyone was watching. Phoebe, Jade, Mom and Kendall walked out onto the dance floor and started dancing too. Grandpa John looked down and shook his head smirking. Emma was laughing and so was Brody. We continued singing and I walked up to Maddox and he quickly grabbed me and turned me so my back was against him I gasped when I felt his erection against my back. “He don’t smack that ass and pull your hair like that.” He sang. I nearly convulsed right there. “Two can play at this little tease game Sweetness. But do continue cause I’m enjoying the hell out of watching your performance. Gives me ideas.” He bent down and kissed my neck and then let go. The song was about to change and he motioned down to the DJ. A Thousand Years by Christina Perri started and He turned me around and pulled me into his arms. “Sing to me Mrs. Hines.” So I did. We danced holding each other closely. The song changed to Eternal Flame by The Bangles and I looked around wanting to make sure everyone was having a good time. I saw Mom standing alone and looked around Lucas was walking by glaring I saw Ava dancing with T. “Lucas!” I yelled. He turned and looked at me. “Make Mom dance please.” I saw him whisper in her ear and she looked at me and rolled her eyes. He grabbed her hand and dragged her onto the dance floor. I looked up and smiled. “My husband.” “Yours.” “Mine.” We danced for a little longer until I felt nature call. “I need to use the restroom.” He leaned down to give me a kiss. “I’ll get you a drink.” I turned to leave and he swatted my butt. I turned to him and pretended to look shocked. “Mine.” “Yours.” I laughed as I walked away. As I walked into the bathroom I saw Jade walk outside. I came out and saw Grandpa walk out. I followed wanting to make sure everything was alright. Jade was trying to calm Ashley down. “Everything alright?” Mom asked from behind me. “I don’t know?” She walked past me and over to the car. Lucas was standing head bowed with his hands in his pockets. I walked closer and Grandpa held my hand “Let it be baby girl.” “What’s going on Jade?” Mom asked again. “You are what’s going on Tessa.” “Ash I suggest you get in that car and I’ll take you home.” Lucas was pissed. He got in the car and started it. Ashley stormed around the car. “Your husband is lucky to be dead so he doesn’t have to watch you and my husband play grab ass for another…” Mom slapped her across the face and Jade grabbed her. “Don’t you talk about Collin like that ever!” Lucas jumped out of the car and grabbed Ashley who was holding her face.
“She’s just as crazy as the rest of the bitches…” “Get in the fucking car NOW!” Lucas snapped. Ashley jumped in the car and shut the door. Lucas tried to open the door and she threw it in drive and peeled out of the driveway. I heard someone behind me and looked. Ava was covering her mouth as tears rolled down her cheeks. “She deserves to know Lucas. You tell her or I will.” Jade spun around and saw the three of us standing there. “I’ll take care of the girls.” Mom looked back and started walking towards us. “There’s a room upstairs let’s go ladies.” I followed Jade up the stairs. I looked back to make sure Ava was alright and Grandpa had his arm around her walking in behind us. We got upstairs and sat down. “Ava I’m so sorry. I was wrong to hit…” “Tessa she was wrong to say that about Collin. It’s my fault.” “No Ava it’s not your fault.” Lucas squatted next to her and wiped her tears away. “Is to Dad. Harper I am so sorry I ruined your wedding and your prom. If you never talk to me again I would understand.” “Don’t be silly Ava.” “Fuck Harper don’t fucking take off like that again.” Maddox said as he stormed across the room. “Sorry it’s just…” “Listen everyone. What just happened out there is unfortunate.” Lucas began. “Daddy I want to leave.” Ava stood up. “You stay and have fun Ava. I’m gonna get a cab and go deal with this.” “Why! Why don’t you just leave her?” Lucas ran his hands through his hair and tried to gain some composure. “Bottom line. Your brother needs to finish school. I don’t want him distracted. When he’s graduated if that’s what I have to do then I will.” “She’s been cheating on you for…” “Okay Ava let’s not do this here.” Jade looked at Mom and then at Lucas. “Listen Ava, no one else here is gonna say anything so I will. Ava your Mom has been cheating on your father for years now.” “Jade that is enough.” Lucas warned. “Then you tell her Lucas. Do you think they don’t feel it? Your house is like a fucking iceberg.” She looked at Mom. “You don’t seem surprised.” “What? I …” “Oh for Christ sake Jade she didn’t do a damn thing.” Lucas snapped. “It’s all my fault.” Ava cried. “No Ava it’s not. Your Mom’s been fucking around for probably half of our marriage.” “Why didn’t you leave her?” Mom snapped. Lucas looked at her stunned. “Why would you put up with it Lucas? God! Collin told me he thought something was going on and…” “Collin knew?” Lucas sounded shocked. Jade laughed. “Where do you think the letter came from telling you jackass?” “Shit that was just recently, I’ve known for years.” “And you did nothing?” Ava cried. “What should I have done Ava? Leave her and see you two every other weekend?” “We would have stayed with you!” “It wouldn’t have been your choice. Besides up until a year ago it was just a suspicion. No damn it.
I’m not going to explain myself to you. Shit happens. That’s it.” Lucas sat down and scratched his head. “The man I suspected she was with is a politician. His brother is the fuck that had you two arrested. That’s what my kids would have dealt with, fucking scum like that and that wasn’t happening. Ava you tell me what you want and I will consider it but you have to consider that Logan is at a very impressionable age. I can handle my shit just fine I can assure you that.” I stood up and Maddox rubbed my shoulders. “Sit?” He sat down and pulled me onto his lap. The DJ announced the cake was to be cut and I looked around. Ava stood and looked at Lucas. “Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.” “We have until June; give me at least that long.” “Okay.” I stood and took Ava’s hand. “Let’s go eat cake.” She smiled. “Do I look okay?” “Hot as always.” “Good I need to get laid.” “Ava!” Lucas snapped. “Dad how the hell do you hear everything?” Ava and I laughed as we followed Maddox down the stairs.
“Maddox I think I’ve had enough cake.” I said still chewing as he held another fork full to my mouth. “Then just pretend to eat Sweetness. It’s fascinating.” “You just like putting things in my mouth.” Maddox chuckled, “You bet your ass I do—Wife.” We stood up and I looked for Mom. She was standing talking with Jade, Ryan and Lucas. Ava was dancing with T and she winked at me and I laughed. “I warned him that she was family now.” Maddox whispered. “You keep getting better you know.” “I will continue doing so.” “So will I.” “Impossible Harper Ann Hines.” “Hah.” He laughed. “Hah.” We walked over to Mom. “You okay?” “I’m tired.” Lucas chuckled and Mom smacked his stomach. “Mean.” “She is tired.” “Fine Tessa.” Lucas looked at me. “You two have plans?” Mom smacked him again. “Damn Tessa you wanna take me out in the parking lot and just beat the hell out of me?” He laughed as he pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket. “Go north on Route 34 to the white inn. They’re expecting you for two nights. I heard your traveling or I would’ve done more.” “That place is fucking amazing,” Ryan chuckled and Mom hit him too. “Ouch Tessa. Jade and I stayed there. Remember Jade?”
“Of course I remember I was knocked up and you wouldn’t leave me alone.” “That’s not how I remember it. You were always a little fox especially when you were pregnant. I’m sure that’s why we have four kids. Then when you turned 40, its gotten even better.” “Alright Ryan they don’t need any advice from you.” “Wait until she’s forty.” Ryan whispered loudly. Maddox laughed and then looked at Lucas. “You didn’t have to do that. Thank you.” “It’s a wedding gift. Of course I did. Just enjoy and try to forget about well just enjoy yourselves.” He looked towards Ava who was now making out with T. “Yeah Ryan and Jade let’s roll. I’ll kick his ass!” “Thanks Mom.” I gave her a big hug. “See you in two days?” “We could do just one.” “No I insist. And Maddox let her sleep.” “Of course. I…” Mom laughed. “Enjoy each other.”
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE The Rose
Maddox As soon as she got into the car she lost her heels. That's a shame, I thought until she reached down and rubbed her feet. I pulled her feet onto my lap and began to rub. She laid back a smiled. “Hands and feet huh?” I asked looking at the French tips and sparkly little diamond. She smiled and then giggled, “Yep.” “Tired sweetness?” “Not too bad.” I knew she was full of shit and just trying to appease me. “You have to be. With all the dancing you did today. I know I am.” She smirked and wiggled her feet back and forth calling my attention back to them. “Demanding Mrs. Hines?” “I will be Mr. Hines.” “Temptress.” “Tempter” I lifted her foot and kissed each of her toes. She laughed and tried to pull her foot back. “Oh no! I’ve found a new place that now fascinates me.” “Maddox gross,” she laughed as I sucked on her pinky toes. I shook my head no and continued to the next. “You may as well lay back and enjoy that I own you now.” “That works both ways you know?” “I'm counting on that.” We pulled into the Rose Inn and I finally let go of her foot, I loved her little feet. I loved every part of this woman. ”You coming?” “Yeah I am.” We walked in and both men at the desk smiled. The blond one clapped his hands. “Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Hines.” It was damn good to hear that. I looked at Harper to see her reaction. She was smiling a blushing a bit. “Thank you.” “Your suite is already for you. Just go up the grand staircase to your left and all the way down the hall.” I picked Harper up knowing she would wrap her arms around my neck and I was right. “You’re gonna carry me?” “Everywhere.” When I opened the door to our room I was blown away. I hadn't expected for it to be so exquisite; the marble floor throughout the suite shined brightly and the large bed was covered in white bedding with red rose petals scattered about. I looked at the beautiful woman in my arms and she smiled. “It's beautiful.” “It is, but not half as beautiful as you.” She blushed and I kissed her. “I have been inside of you and kissed every part of your body and still you blush.” “It's different now. You're my husband.” Her words made me blush and immediately start to get anxious. I walked her to the bed and laid her down. Her blush deepened and my anxiety rose. I laid beside her and cupped the side of her face with my hand bringing her mouth to mine.
“You need to sleep.” “I need you.” She kissed me and I let her. I opened my mouth to her and her tongue rubbed against mine. She tasted sweet like grapes and so soft. She leaned over me, a position that was not normal for us but I enjoyed feeling her weight against me. I pulled her on top of me and she smiled and kissed me deeper, tasting me like I tasted her. Moaning and taking pleasure from me as I willingly let her. I never thought I would be alright with the position I now found myself in. Someone else having control over my body. Losing the power to her was not as difficult as I thought it would be. She married me, was carrying my child and would be by my side loving me for the rest of my life. I trusted her completely and I loved her entirely. She stopped to take a breath. Her rapid short and sweet breathes kissed my face. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled. “I love you Maddox.” “I love you Sweetness.” She sat up and turned around putting her back to me. “Unzip me please.” I sat up and pushed her hair over her shoulders and kissed her neck as I unzipped her dress. I saw the back of the light blue bra that I had given her as a wedding gift. More for me than her I suppose, it looked beautiful against her skin. She stood up and wiggled her hips allowing the gown to drop in a heap on top of me. Her ass looked edible framed in the garter belt that’s straps held up the stockings in the same pale blue. She looked over her shoulder at me as she turned and squatted down pulling the dress up into her arms covering herself. “I need to hang this.” She started to step off the bed and I took her hand stopping her. “How about you lay down and I do that for you?” “How about you take off that tux and I’ll be right back.” I wasted no time throwing the jacket off and to the ground and quickly unbuttoned my shirt. I looked up and she was bending over the foot of the bed pulling off my shoes. “What are you doing Sweetness?” “Helping my husband get naked,” She bit her lip and yanked my sock off. “You lay still and let me.” I propped myself on my elbows and watched as she was bent, her tits nearly falling out of the push up bra and my dick was straining against my pants. She pulled off my shoe and sock and then slowly crawled up the bed and stopped when she came to my tented pants. She bowed down and ran her face slowly across my covered cock and it felt damn good. She unbuttoned my pants and I reached down holding back Thumper. “Let me undress you.” She pleaded as desire consumed her eyes. “Mrs. Hines, you whatever you want. I’m only protecting Thumper from a zipper incident. I’m hard as a rock and you look so hungry Sweetness. I didn’t want an injury to ruin our wedding night.” She covered her face and giggle. “Don’t stop now. Focus Mrs. Hines.” “God I love you,” she whispered as she unzipped me. “If only half as much as I love you we’ll lead a very happy life.” I uncovered myself and my cock sprung up. “All three are in agreement. Let’s check you out.” I pulled her up to closer and reached between her legs. “What did you do?” “Waxed. Hands, nails, and...” I pushed her up so she was seated on my stomach. “Very interesting.” I ran my hands across her bare little lips. “I want…” She moved back and began stroking me. She situated herself above me and slowly brought herself down.
“Damn,” I hissed as she moved her hips stretching herself making room for me. “Damn,” she whimpered. She moved slowly raising and lowering herself up and down me. I had to remind myself to look at her face. I was completely distracted by her now bare flesh. She had a tiny little freckle exposed now that was once concealed by hair. She began moving faster her hands fell to my stomach as she rode me. I took her hands and held them up as she began moving faster. I needed to see our bodies connect. “Maddox!” She screamed out as she came. She stilled and sat panting. I sat up and held her against be as I bucked into her until I felt my own orgasm approaching. Liquid fire burned through my body. I let out a groan and then took her tit in my mouth hoping like hell I could get her there. “Give me another Sweetness,” I commanded as I moved to her next breast. She whimpered and began moving again. “That’s it fuck, Sweetness I’m gonna...” I couldn’t hold back and she followed as I pumped her full of my cum. Marking her as my wife I lay back bringing her down on top of me and kissed her damp forehead and hair and finally her lips. “You alright?” “Yes.” I rubbed her back as she tried to catch her breath. “You got waxed.” “That crap hurts too,” she giggled and peeked up at me. “Then why?” “I wanted to? I don’t know Ava said…” “Oh dear God. Harper, I loved your little fuzzies.” She laughed and then sat up. “Ava said bush was out. And then she said like in the eighties! I just thought you’d like something a little different.” “First of all I can’t believe we’re talking about Ava while I’m inside of you.” I let go of her hips and linked my arms behind my head. “Second I will never want anything but you, fuzzy or not. It’s not like you don’t trim.” I reached down and rubbed her a bit and she squirmed. “Very soft though. I can’t wait to taste you now.” She smiled. “I’m sure it tastes the same.” “Like heaven.” She yawned and I lifted her up and rolled her onto her back. “I’m going to run a bath. Then call Surge and get…No forget it. We will be naked for two days.” “Two day huh?” “No clothes. You and I taking and receiving pleasure from one another. For two nights Mrs. Hines I will feast on your sexy body…” “And I on yours.” “Perfect.”
Surge had brought our bag Sunday night and it was delivered to our doorstep this morning. “I can’t believe I’m dressing you. It completely goes against everything I believe should be between us.” “And what is that.” She began buttoning her shirt. “Sweat, little to no space, bath water, cum, well that’s about it.”
Harper looked up and laughed, “Really?” “Really, now let’s get out of here before I go with my instincts and shred that damn shirt.”
We pulled into the doctor’s office and both of us were excited. Today we get to see our little one. Not that it would look like a baby but it was exciting regardless. Harper nearly skipped into the office. She was happy, so damn happy. The woman I thought could never be more beautiful and loved by me was more so every day. She lay on the exam table with her legs in stirrups. I was less than please that she was spread open waiting for the technician to shove that fucking probe inside her. She looked up at me and pulled our entwined hands to her lips and kissed the back of my hand. “She’ll be in here in just a minute, relax you look like you’re going to explode.” I tried my best to act unaffected but she could tell. “What’s wrong?” “Someone else is…” She started to laugh as the door opened. “Everything alright?” the middle aged woman asked as she walked in. “Well;” Harper started laughing harder and I glared at her. “My wife seems to have a case of the sillies.” “The sillies huh?” The woman with the dick in her hand asked. “Oh yes,” Harper laughed. “Bad case of those.” “Okay just relax your knees a bit.” She shoved the condom clade object into Harper and I felt Harper start to pull her hand away. I looked down and let go of her hand. She mouthed ouch; I must have squeezed her hand. “You okay Sweetness? I’m sorry.” The tech looked up at me and smiled. “There’s lots of lubrication on this I’m sure she’s fine aren’t you dear?” Harper smirked nodded yes and then took my hand. She turned the screen towards us. “The little one is here.” I no longer felt anger, I felt elation. I laughed and bent down and kissed Harper’s head. Harper was looking at me and smiling, her eyes sparkling and so blue. The tech clicked a few buttons and then pulled the probe out of Harper. “You’re measurements look good. Best guess is that you are ten weeks pregnant.” “No worries then?” I smiled. “Nope you’re almost out of the first trimester. Everything should be just fine.” “Will we see the doctor today?” “No. You will come back in about five weeks and see him. Then, if you want, we can set up an appointment for an ultra sound to see if we can find out the sex of the baby. Everything looks great. If you need to see him before then just call; I’m sure he’ll get you right in. Oh and your due date is Halloween.” I looked immediately to Harper and she looked up at me. “Our child is going to have the most amazing birthday parties.” She scowled at me and I laughed, “Is that a problem?” “Our child will celebrate them separately.” I tried to assert some authority. “Our child can make that…” She clasped my lips together and I grabbed her hand and kissed it repeatedly.
“We need to get home and celebrate…Halloween.” She smacked at me and I jumped back. “Get that sweet little ass…” “Maddox!” She looked quickly at the technician. “I apologize,” I laughed. She smirked. “Congratulations.” As she left the room. Harper got up and tried her best to appear annoyed and I wrapped my arms around her from behind and kissed her. “Sweetness, that’s Dad’s birthday.” “It is? Oh my God it is! It’s also their anniversary.” “Coolest birthday ever.” She turned and hugged me. “Pretty cool birthday.” We walked out and Harper was bouncing again. She started swinging our arms as we walked towards the Jeep. I started skipping and she laughed and stopped. “You’re picking on me?” “No Sweetness I’m joining in the fun.”
Harper and I went shopping in the nearby town of Auburn. A grocery store that had the largest selection of local, organic and natural foods, called Wegmans. Her Grandparents has sold their produce to them for years. I was excited that she was phasing past the junk food obsessed part of her pregnancy and ready to eat healthy. When we returned home we were alone; Tessa was with Jade, Brody and Emma were helping Grandma Caroline and Grandpa Henry set up their new home. The girls were at school and I had made damn sure our security team wasn’t around. We cranked up the radio and sang and danced as we cut up vegetables to steam and steak to sauté. Six months ago I was on a stage singing to her in Switzerland because if I didn’t let her know once and for all how I truly felt I would not have been the only one to feel the pain. I would have slipped back to being the boy in the closet. I would have dragged with me my parents and sisters. And I would have never known how much she truly loved me. Nothing felt as good as right now. I wasn’t playing house like I was in Switzerland. With the fear that she would change her mind and tell me I wasn’t enough loomed over my head daily. She was so fucking happy and she was my wife. Not just a promise to become Mrs. Maddox Hines. We were given the blessing of her family and her father who trusted me with her heart. She was now and forever Mrs. Maddox Hines. Her eyes would always remind me of the cleansing water that washed away the stains of the past. Looking at her when she wasn’t looking always reminded me of the day we became one, our bodies forged together making me understand that love and touch together was the most beautiful thing in the world. Our vows shared just a few days ago merged our hearts and souls together for an eternity. Nothing would ever tear us apart. I no longer was afraid that if I let my guard down I would lose her. I just accepted that I would never leave her alone without me to protect her. “Maddox,” Her voice tore me from thought. “You gotta stir the cheese or it’ll burn.” She nudged me with her hip and grabbed the spoon and stirred the cheesy in the pan. “Sorry Sweetness.” She lifted it, blew on it and then held it up to me cupping her hand under it in case it dripped. “Mmm, very good.”
“I know right?” She grabbed the fondue pot and set the last of the three on the island. “The girls are gonna love this.” I kissed her head as I poured the cheese into the pot. “So am I.” She eyed the chocolate in the last fondue pot. “Vegetable, meat and then dessert right?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
We all came together into the dining room; Harper and my grandparents, my sisters, Tessa, Brody and Emma. “This looks so yummy.” Lexi sat in the chair next to me on her knees where Harper was going to sit. I looked up and Harper winked and sat next to London. After passing around the vegetables and everyone had begun to eat I looked at Harper and she smiled and nodded. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. “Harper and I have a game we want to play. It’s called pass the picture. You can’t say out loud what it is until it gets all the way around the table.” I looked at London and she rolled her eyes. I laughed, “Go ahead Harper.” She handed it to London and it only took about ten seconds for her jaw to drop. She smiled and handed it to Emma. When it made it to Lexington she turned it upside down and sideways until she looked at me. “Is it a UFO or something?” “Shh Grandma Caroline hasn’t seen it yet.” I whispered. “Grandma Caroline already figured it out. No need.” She laughed. “Gotta start listening to my instinct.” “How did you know?” I was shocked. “No what?” Lexington asked loudly. “I knew Elizabeth was alive for years. Everyone thought I was crazy.” Henry laughed and she nudged him. “Hush up. I knew as soon as I saw Brody he was gonna be a pain in the butt but would bring love into this family. I knew Harper was a keeper and that you’d figure it out. I knew Tessa was special from the moment I saw her and I know she knows what I mean by that.” She stopped and looked at London. “Go ahead London tell them what I have known for a few weeks now.” London clapped and jumped up and walked to Lexington and whispered into her ear. Lexi gasped and yelled out. “What does that mean? Maddox? What does Harper’s knocked up mean?” Dad busted up laughing and Emma gave London a very angry and embarrassed look. Everyone else laughed and Mom sank down in her chair. “Well Lexington all those blurred lines,” She paused and raised her eyebrow at me. “It means Maddox took a good girl,” she sang and Harper laughed harder and covered her mouth. “What rhymes with hug me?” “London that is enough!” Mom snapped. “Good song,” Grandma Caroline laughed. “For God sake Mother.” Mom covered her face. “Harper did Maddox knock you around?” “Lexington, of course not. Harper is pregnant,” I whispered. “Well why didn’t you just tell me she had a bun in the oven then London?” “Who taught you that term?” Dad finally stepping in.
Lexi shrugged her shoulder and took a bite of cheese covered bread. “I’m a rockstars' kid Dad. I know some things yo.” “Does one of those things you know include not talking with food in your mouth?” Dad laughed. She crossed her eyes and chewed obnoxiously. “Obviously not.” After everyone had finally stopped laughing and the main course was served I went out and got the chocolate and tray of goodies. I sat down and patted my lap. Lexington climbed up on it. “You know Harper and I are going to be traveling a lot for awhile right?” “Yeah, I’ll miss you.” “I’ll miss you too. I was wondering if you could take care of Shakespeare for me.” “Sure will. And I will see you lots the other times.” “Sure will. Hey Lexi, you do know you shouldn’t talk with your mouth full right?” She giggled and leaned over and whispered, “It makes Dad crazy.”
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Taking Flight
Harper When we landed in South Africa Maddox looked out the window Maddox looked at me I knew he was agitated and he knew I was concerned. “I promise I won’t kick his ass Harper.” and seemed agitated. He had insisted that Clive and Surge stay at home. I heard him tell Brody that this was something that Tessa and I needed to do. He said he felt like he was intruding so certainly Clive and Surge would be. He wanted us to be able to say goodbye without feeling we needed to take care of or worry about more people than necessary. Each trip would last only two days. Enough time for Tomas and Mom to take care of the handover and me to make sure everyone knew that we would always be here. I had grown up with most of the leaders of these communities. Many of them were my age; kids I had grown up playing with during our stays and friends who would be forever in my heart, regardless of where I was. After pulling through the main gates the Jeep stopped and a man walked out of the guard station. When I realized who it was I looked at Maddox who closed his eyes and shook his head. “Welcome back.” Blake opened Moms’ door and gave her a hug. “What are you doing here?” Mom was genuinely surprised. “Things have been a bit hostile in the area. I was getting sick of being cooped up in an office so I asked to come here. Come on in we’ve been expecting you.” We sat at the big conference room table and Blake stood in the front. “There aren’t enough apologies in the university to give to your family for…” “We don’t blame you Blake. So please don’t.” “If I hadn’t.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Collin was a good man. You’re all amazing people; you too Maddox. By default I have come into a very large amount of money. Harrison adopted me when I was very young. He was a good man and loved me like a son. When his will was read the money was to be split between his two sons.” He pushed an envelope to Tessa. “And three grandchildren. When he was ill he added Harper, Matthew, and CJ into his will. He didn’t change the two son’s clause. I am the only living son so I got half of his fortune. I have decided if you Tessa agree to it, to continue Collin’s work and Harrisons funding of many similar charities around the globe.” He sat down and smiled at me. “I hear congratulations are in order.” “How the hell…” “You’re big news globally Hines. Didn’t have to dig, it’s all over the place that Maddox Hines was married. I couldn’t think of anyone you would marry besides Harper. You two belong together. I know how much you love her and how much she loves you.” “Thank you Blake.” I squeezed Maddox hand. “Yes thanks Dr…” I elbowed him. “Blake. That’s nice of you.” “If we can all agree I want you to come say your goodbyes and get back on that jet. Things are getting worse around here. I don’t want to put you in anymore danger than I already did.” Maddox, Mom, and I made our way around the village and saw everyone Mom and I had both decided in advance that we needed to see. Maddox reminded me of my father by constantly looking around making sure everything was as it should be. We returned to the plane ten hours later and I was exhausted. “Do you two want to head back or should we see if we can’t get at least half of this done with?” “Will you let Blake take over?” “Tomas had a discussion with him. He is welcome to continue funding but we need to give them back control. It was never our intention to keep it.” Mom explained. “Blake has agreed. He is going to just visit and help out where needed. He and I agreed if a problem
arose that warranted a brief overtaking that I would help him gain the trust of those in charge.” Tomas added.
Two months later we flew into South America. I knew this final handover would be the hardest for Mom. Tomas had flown in a week before and I suspected it was to talk to Alejandra, the head of the community hospital. She and Mom were very close but Mom hadn’t talked to her since Dad died. She said it would be too hard to tell her over the internet or the phone. Mom and Dad had paid for her to attend medical school and in return, Alejandra had devoted her life to the community that Mom held so dear to her. Maddox stood and pulled me up. “We’ve made four trips out of the country and done six shows. You Sweetness are going to sleep this entire flight. No fighting. No arguing. We have this trip and then eight more shows over the next two months. You’re healthy and I won’t have that change now.” We landed on the airstrip that was constructed right before I was born. It normally took two to three hours to drive up the mountains and Dad knew that us kids would probably not enjoy the bumpy mountain roads “You ready?” “Yes. I slept the entire time?” I stood and walked towards him. “Sure did. So did your Mom.” “Good. Maddox, this is going to be hard for her.” “She has you. Come on she’s already off the plane.” When we walked down the stairs I saw my brothers hugging Mom. She was wiping her face. “Did you know they were coming?” “Yeah I did. I was threatened that if I said a word they’d beat me up.” We went into the compound. I had always loved it here the most. It was the first place I visited and although I didn’t remember I heard stories and had plenty of pictures to make those memories never fade. This was the one place I had a room of my own. Maria, one of the friends I had kept in contact with, use to have sleep overs with me. I expected the same welcome as usual but instead we were lead into the training building and down the stairs into the conference room that housed all the security and satellite video feeds. Tomas, Mom, CJ, Matthew, Maddox and I sat around the wooden table. Tomas cleared his throat. “Your father and I never took one day for granted. Both of us know how very precious life is and how quickly it can end. Collin was like a brother to me. More than a brother he was also my best friend. I know that none of you know about my past. It was never questioned because your trust in Collin was deeper than anything he or I could have ever experienced. My birth name is Marcus Ortego. I was eighteen years old when I met Collin Abrahams. I was in an alley and had just beaten to death the man who had raped and killed my newlywed wife in my home country of Brazil. When he came in and pulled me off of him I panicked and ran. It didn’t take him long to find me; I had dropped my identification card. By the grace of God he saw something in me and instead of handing it over to the authorities he looked for me. The man who I killed was the constable’s nephew. I was nobody. Had I been caught, I would have been executed. Collin looked into me before coming to find me and after telling him my story he got me out of the country. He insisted I work for him to pay off my debt. I owed him my life and respect. It didn’t take me long to figure out that he was teaching me to become a noble man. He also knew I would kill again if need be. I received a letter just like you all have. He is releasing me of my obligation to him. He has left me enough money to live ten life times. When you all return home in a couple days I am staying
here.” “What?” I was shocked. “Tomas…” “Harper, I will never be more than a phone call away.” I looked at my mother whose hands shook. Then I looked at Matthew and CJ. “You two knew he was going to do this?” “You three are my children. I love you very much. Tessa you are as much a sister as he was a brother, I love you as well.” Tomas never showed emotion but I could tell this was breaking him. “Then don’t do this!” Tomas stood up and walked over to me and knelt down. “I need to be here Tessa.” Mom cleared her voice. “If that’s what you truly want Tomas, we will support you in any way you ask.” Tomas looked into my eyes. “Is that true Harper? Will you please support me in this?” “What if I need you?” “You, my dear, need me less than those two boys over there need me. Sorry boys but it’s true, she always has been one step ahead of you. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t know one hundred percent that the man sitting next to you was more than capable of taking care of you.” There was a knock on the door and it opened. Alejandra and Mick, head of security, walked in. “Have a seat.” Tomas motioned to them to sit. “The Abrahams family has some news to share.”
Two days later we returned home. It felt odd not having Tomas with us. The emptiness inside was one I was growing accustom too. When we pulled in the driveway Brody, Emma and the girls drove up next to us. “Welcome home.” “Thanks Dad. Where you heading off too?” “Well the house is pretty much done. We moved our stuff in last night. Why don’t you three rest and come up for dinner tonight?” “Sounds great.” “How’s the bun?” Lexi yelled out the window. “Still baking,” I yelled back. We walked into the house and Mom stood at the sink. “You okay Mom?” “I’m fine. Really wish your father was here so I could yell at him. That was a bombshell huh?” “Tomas?” “Yeah.” Mom laughed. “He’s in love with Alejandra.” Maddox sat down and looked at us. “No way!” We both said at the same time. “Oh yes he is.” “Did he tell you that?” I asked. “Nope, I just recognize the symptoms.” “And what are they?” Mom asked. “Well she looks at him when no one else is looking and when he catches her she shoots daggers at him. When he’s not looking, she is checking him out. He’s on the shit list, he’ll be groveling.” “I don’t believe that.” “I’m right, just mark my words.” Maddox laughed and walked outside.
“You think?” I asked Mom. “Now that I think about it, yeah I do.” “Well than now I’m not so pissed at him. I just didn’t want him to be alone.”
I lay on the table at the doctor’s office waiting for the technician to come in. Maddox wasn’t as anxious this time since it was going to be a sonogram not an ultra sound. The tech came in and I watched Maddox eyeing her suspiciously and it made me want to laugh. She squirted the cold jelly on my stomach and spread it around with the probe. She smiled and then turned the monitor for us to see. She pointed out the arms and legs and the little butt. She took pictures and measurements and was explaining everything but I honestly couldn’t focus on anything except the little flutter of our baby’s heart. “Sweetness you have an answer?” I opened my mouth to answer a question and I didn’t even know what it was. Tear fell down my face as I continued looking at our baby. “Harper, everything is fine.” The technician whispered. “Beautiful.” Maddox leaned down and held his face against mine and very softly held my hand to his racing heart. I wrapped my free arm around his neck and cried; these tears where tears of joy. He raised his head and wiped my face. He looked like he was going to cry as well. “Do we want to know if that little one is a boy or a girl?” “I already know.” “Okay.” He stood up and forced a smile. “Could we get the sex to go?” I giggled and he looked down and winked. “In an envelope that we can open when she is ready?” The technician laughed and scratched a note on a piece of paper and then grabbed an envelope and put it in, sealed it and handed it to Maddox. “Sex to go.” She laughed and walked out of the office.
When we returned home there was a note on the counter that Mom was with Jade shopping. “She’s with Jade an awful lot lately.” “That’s good right?” Maddox asked as he grabbed a couple glasses out of the cupboard. “Yeah. So do we want to open up that envelope?” “That’s up to you. We can wait for your mom if you want.” “I think I want it to be just us.” He smiled and set the glass in front of me and then quickly snatched the envelope out of my hand. “Hey!” “You gonna change your mind?” “No, go ahead.” He started to open it. “Tell me your guess.” “A boy.” “Care to place a bet?” “You think it’s a girl?”
“Not necessarily, I just have a kinky little game I think we could play. Kind of like heads or tail but top or bottom.” “Explain,” I laughed. “I get to see first. Then I’m gonna do you. If I come when I’m on top of you it’s a boy; if I come while you’re riding me it’s a girl.” “How about the other way around? I haven’t ridden since our wedding night.” “That confident in your guess huh?” “Sure am.” I stood up and pulled my shirt over my head. “Open that up Mr. Hines.” He opened the envelope. “This is my game so you’ll do as I say.” I bent over and took off my pants and threw them at him. “You’re going to be pregnant a lot Harper Hines.” “Why’s that?” “You are damn beautiful with those swelled tits and that belly. Have I told you that your naked belly makes me hard instantly?” “No you haven’t told me but I now understand the recent increase in shower wall sex.” “Harper I want you to go bend over the arm of the couch real bad,” he growled. I immediately went to the couch and looked over my shoulder. “Lose the clothes Mr. Hines.” I bent over the couch naked and he came up behind me and started rubbing between my legs. God it felt good. “Let’s see here.” He knelt down and licked twice at my cleft and I immediately felt myself moisten. I heard the envelop rip open and a finger began to spread me he rubbed back and forth and I looked back as he shoved the paper back in the envelope. He dropped it on the ground and undid his pants. “Your ass is more beautiful every day.” He rubbed the head of his cock against me and then spread me wider with his feet. He dragged himself up and down my opening until he was in me, but just barely. “Hang on Sweetness.” He pushed slowly into me and then moved out. “Fuck your soaked.” “Maddox give it back,” I begged. He shoved into me just enough to drive me nuts “This what you want?” “Yes.” I pushed back against him taking more. “Feisty little Momma.” He pushed in further. “Oh God!” “Yeah?” He pushed in as much as he could and then began to rotate his hips stretching me further to accommodate him. “Oh yes. Harder.” My wish was his command he began moving faster and harder until I was on edge. He pulled me up; one hand cupped my breasts and the other on the base of my throat. He guided us to the couch where he backed up and sat bringing me down hard on top of him. “Ride me Sweetness. Take what you want.” I was straddling him with my back to his chest, riding him hard. “This. Is. So. Good!” I bent forward bracing myself on his knees as I rode him hard and fast. “I’m gonna…” He stopped me by holding my hips still. He pushed me up until he was no longer in me. “Lay down Sweetness.” “It’s a boy.” I laid on the floor laughing and he lifted my hips and put his face between my legs. He licked me once, twice and then sucked my clit hard until tensed. “Not without me.” He was on his knees and pushed into me. “I won’t last long.” He continued thrusting as he held me up. His jaw tightened. “So. Fucking. Beautiful!”
He pushed harder and stilled. He reached down and grabbed my arms pulling me up against him and sat on the floor bringing me down hard. “Not a boy Sweetness.” He growled as he bucked into me over and over until he came with me on top. He kissed me lips and then down my neck. “Maddox?” “Yeah Sweetness?” “We’re having a girl?” “We certainly are,” he panted into my neck. I started laughing and hugged him tight. “A girl.” “A beautiful little Harper.” I heard Mom and Jade laughing as they walked in the back door. Maddox jaw gapped open. I reached behind him and grabbed the blanket off the chair and covered myself. “What have we here?” I heard Jade snicker as her footsteps got closer. “Jade please don’t come in here!” “Harper is that you?” Jade laughed. “Jade! Leave them alone,” Mom whispered. “You doing a solo act or you got a hot hubby with you?” Jade giggled. “Fuck! Damn it Tessa that hurt.” “Leave them alone then or I’ll smack your other arm.” Jade laughed. Maddox pants hit me in the head and I laughed. Next was my shirt. I grabbed at it and pulled it on. My pants came flying next. “Cute undies Harper Ann.” Jade laughed and then flung them in. “Maddox you got underwear out here.” “No Ma’am. I don’t wear them things.” he laughed and so did I. I threw my panties on and then my leggings and stood up. Mom and Jade had their backs to us. “Get dressed.” I laughed at Maddox and ran around the couch. “Oh Harper you’re home.” Jade laughed and turned around. I looked into the family room and Maddox had his back to us buttoning his pants. He turned and walked towards us. He stopped and bent over to grab the envelope. He handed it to me and kissed my head. “Sorry about that ladies.” He smiled his stage smile at Jade and I laughed out loud. “You sure you’re sorry?” “Well Jade that’s the polite thing to say isn’t it?” “Well Maddox if you were able to finish yes but if you weren’t we should be apologizing.” “Jade Brooks!” Mom snapped. “Well Tess that’s the polite thing to say isn’t it?”
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE New Jersey
Maddox This would be my last concert for a while. We would be skipping Europe and had added seven shows to our US tour. Dad could’ve done it alone but said he was having too much fun with me on stage. I didn’t want to drag Harper overseas where she may feel the pain we left there while she was carrying our little girl. We would go back though. We conquered the Cape which she was afraid would be hard. She said it brought her peace and I was so happy that it did. I wanted nothing but peace for her. For us and our family. “HELLO NEW JERSEY!” I yelled to the screaming crowd. “This is one hell of a crowd to end our US tour with. Thanks for coming out tonight! Feels like Deja vu it was only a year ago I stood here on this very stage at Badger Field doing the same damn thing. Ending one hell of a summer concert series!” The crowd screamed and I loved it. “Did you miss me? Of course you did. I missed you too!” We played our asses off. I was having fun but the after concert party, with hot ass outfit and a very big bundle of baby up front was waiting for me back stage. Best way to end a show. “I wanna end tonight with a song that changed my life. A song I hope will change yours too. When you find that one person who can make you want to spend the rest of your life with hold on to them. When you feel that pull that force greater than you feel it embrace it follow it. Life changing events can happen when you finally let someone in.” Waves crash of thunder I run, Inside my mind I run Seas grand reflection open the warmth, Undone, undone Reflecting the love my soul. Burning inside of my soul, The sea whispers softly, no longer hide. Don’t hide, don’t hide, don’t hide, don’t hide. Washed away by the seas calm, Nurtured by the wind, the sound of her song. Breeze gently holding me high. The weights lightly lifted up to the sky Elevated, raised, floating up high, What remains a stain just a stain a satin. Lips touching softly on mine, hidden desperations An Island of questions my pride My pride, my pride, my pride. Carried away by her beauty the wind and her tide, Blowing away the hurting, hurting inside, I lay back in comfort, Drifting I see The beauty the sea has given to me, The sea the sea, the sea, the sea, the sea ya Washed away by the seas calm, Nurtured by the wind, the sound of her song. Breeze gently holding me high. The weights lightly lifted up to the sky Elevated, raised, floating up high, What remains a stain just a stain a satin.
Waves crash of thunder I run, Inside my mind I run Elevated, raised, floating up high, What remains a stain just a stain a stain.
Dad knew the drill I wasn’t hanging out after the concert; I was going to my dressing room. I was gonna bang my wife backstage. The shit about tonight was that her Mom, Jade and Ava were in the crowd so I knew I had thirty minutes tops to get her off at least twice before I let lose. She was a maniac lately and wanted me all the time. I had to get over wanting to be on top all the time the belly was getting in the way. Doggy style and my wife riding me were the best ways to go. Ever since the day we found out we would be having a girl she had also grown very fond of the reverse cowgirl position. I’m not gonna lie I loved playing with her ass as she rode me so it was a new favorite of mine too. I walked into the dressing room and started shedding clothes. “Sweetness we don’t have much time.” “I’m in the bathroom Maddox.” “Okay but I’m not sure we can pull of the wall sex thing this time my dicks big but not that…” I opened the door and she was bent over the sink. “Sweetness red huh?” I walked up behind her and grabbed her ass pretty damn hard. “Maddox I think…” “Shh. I think it’s fucking perfect.” I reached between her legs and she whimpered. “Maddox I think…” I was ready to lick my fingers when I saw red. “Harper?” “My water broke. Oh this hurts really bad! I think…” I picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom. “Can you stand?” “Yes but I need my clothes.” “Okay just give me just a minute.” I threw my jeans on and called Dad. “Get a car and Tessa to meet us. Harper’s water broke.” I tossed my phone down and went to grab her clothes. “Maddox I…” I caught her before she hit the ground. I grabbed a robe and threw it over her and grabbed my phone. I called 911. “Hey Sweetness talk to me.” “Dizzy.” “Okay. An ambulance is already here you’re going to be fine.” “The baby.” “She’s fine too.” I saw Mac one of our crew men. “Mac go get Harpers’ and my shit from the dressing room.” “On it!” I walked out the back door and the ambulance was coming around. As soon as I was down the steps the back of the ambulance opened and I carried her in. “Set her down right here Mr. Hines.” “I’ll hold her.” “We need to check her out.” “Maddox I have slut clothes on,” she whispered in my ear. “Awe fuck.” “Mr. Hines your wife needs medical attention and we need you to answer some questions”
I laid Harper down and knelt beside her. She turned towards me. “Mom?” “Dad’s getting her. I’ll text them. What hospital?” “New Jersey General is the closest.” “I’m scared.” “I’m not.” I rubbed her hair away from her face. “You’ll both be fine.” “How far along is she?” “33 weeks.” The sirens started to blast and the Ambulance picked up speed.
Tessa ran down the hall in the labor and delivery ward and past the room we were in. “Your Mom’s here Harper. She just went flying by.” “Tell her where we are?” “I’m sure they’ll tell her at the desk. I’m not leaving you.” “Ever?” “Not ever.” “Maddox what if…” I very gently closed her lips with my hand and kissed her. “Not gonna happen. She’s fine and you’ll be fine. All of our bad days are in the past. Nothing but blue sky’s from here on out.” “Okay.” She laid back and her body tensed. “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” Tessa walked in and the nurse followed her. “Ma’am you need ID.” “Mommy?” Harper started to cry and Tessa hugged her. “Has anyone been in to check you yet?” Tessa kissed her cheek. “No.” “Ma’am?” “When Maddox’s parents get in here, they’ll bring my ID. Go get a doctor for my daughter now.” “Ma’am…” “I won’t ask nicely next time.” “I’m telling you …” “Maddox you have your phone?” “Yes I do.” “Good, if she opens her mouth one more time call the fucking media.” The nurse huffed and turned to walked out. “And if she comes back in here call the fucking police!” “Mom.” “Okay let’s see what’s going on.” Tessa pulled the robe away. “Alright is this what started it all?” “What?” “Maddox were you and Harper having…” “No!” “Okay then. Maddox, please look in that cabinet to see if there is a hospital gown. Harper we’re going to get this hot little number off of you.” I was embarrassed and probably was as red as that little outfit was. “I’m scared Mom, it’s early.” “She and you will be fine.” Tessa pulled the garter belt and stockings off and handed them to me. “I’m gonna help you sit up we need to get this off.” Tessa had her undressed and a gown on her in less than a
minute. “You came early to. And look how perfect you are.” The doctor walked in and the same nurse followed him. Tessa turned and looked at her. “I told you not to come back and I wasn’t joking.” “What seems to be the problem?” The doctor was finally here. “My daughter needs medical attention. You take care of that and I’ll go find another nurse because she’s not welcome.”
Two hours later Harper was about ready to give up. She was exhausted and in severe pain. “Maddox I’m so tired. Oh God!” I held one leg and Tessa had the other. Harper pushed three more times and finally, when almost all hope of a natural delivery was lost, our little girl came out just a screaming. She was beautiful and loud. She was tiny and pink; she had ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers. She had lots of hair and it was nearly white. Harper and I were able to hold her and kiss her. We both told her we loved her and then they took her screaming to the neonatal nursery to be examined. Tessa was allowed to go with her which made it easier on Harper and me. When Tessa left Harper hugged me and cried. I did the same. Exhausted, happy, nervous, and full of joyful tears. “Maddox? I’m really thirsty.” As I was getting her a drink Dad and Emma walked in. He gave me a big bear hug and so did Mom. “She’s beautiful Harper.” Dad hugged her. “She is definitely all Hines. I heard the pipes on her all the way down the hall.” Harper immediately looked at me and laughed. “That’s it Maddox!” “What’s it?” I handed her a drink. “Our daughter. You liked Melody because it was musical. A combination of you and me.” “But you said you didn’t.” “No, I said I knew too many people named Melody. But your Dad said pipes. How about Piper?” Maddox smiled. “Different but I like it. Piper Ann?” “Piper Ann Hines.”
EPILOGUE Harper I should have been tired but I wasn’t. I was emotional and cried over every little thing that was going on. Piper was nineteen inches long and weighed an even six pounds. She was born on my mother’s birthday instead of Brody’s. I was sure my father was in heaven pleading his case to send her a birthday gift. I knew he would if given the opportunity. Her lungs were well developed for preemie but we stayed at New Jersey General Hospital for a week. The car ride home was a nightmare; she hated that seat and Maddox hated hearing her cry. In order to keep her from screaming I had to position myself over her car seat so that she could feed until she fell asleep. Mom took pictures and even that made me cry, which of course made her feel bad. And then Maddox told me that the stress hormones in my breast milk were probably causing her to become upset. I took his smart ass phone and threw it on the ground. “I don’t give a shit what Siri says Maddox!” When we finally made it home I was sure Maddox, my mother, and Piper all thought I had lost my mind entirely. They weren’t alone though, I was sure I had as well. As soon as I hit our bed I was out. I didn’t wake until I felt Maddox lifting my shirt. I looked down and I was shocked when I say him placing Piper against me to feed. “Maddox,” I groaned. “She’s hungry.” I sat myself up and held her. “Have you ever seen Meet the Fockers?” “No. is it a good movie?” He asked as he positioned my breast to her mouth. “I’m gonna get you that movie. I can do this Maddox. That’s why I have boobs and you don’t.” “It’s a sacrifice for me as well Harper. If I’m going to let this go on for any length of time you better accept that I will be helping.” I was ready to snap at him until he sat up and climbed behind me, rested his chin on my shoulder watching our daughter feed, and kissed my cheek. I have loved Maddox Hines from the moment I saw him. I tried so hard to stop when the pain was unbearable, but I never could. We were meant to be together and a force stronger than us decided it. No amount of hurt or pain took away that love. “My two angels.” He whispered. “What a truly blessed man I am.” I was sure I fell in love with him even more right then and there. And yes, that made me cry too.
Maddox “Two months old. How was that even possible that our little Piper was eight weeks old already?” I picked her up and she smiled. No it wasn’t gas it was a smile, one that was all for me. “Maddox she was fine in her bed.” Harper walked into the room with her pacifier. “Sweetness she wasn’t okay. She was looking at me like what are you doing just sitting there? Pick me up damn it. Didn’t you Piper?” “You’ll spoil her. You have to let her be sometimes.” Harper climbed up into our bed and pushed the pacifier into Piper’s mouth. “I’ll start letting her lay there wide awake you stop obsessing over sterilizing those Piper plugs after they touch the floor for two seconds. Deal? Besides she wants your breast and not this thing.” “Maddox I just fed her an hour ago.” “You let me sleep through it Harper. So it doesn’t count.” “It counts.” She grabbed the co-sleeping device and put it between us. “Lay her down and let’s get some sleep.” I looked at Harper and shook my head no. I was terrified that I would wake up lying on top of her; smothering her. I was finally sleeping every night. Sometime even through Pipers beginning wake up cries. You know the quieter ones that lead of to the roars if you don’t catch them in time. They are terrifying to wake up to. I held her as she looked up at me with her sleepy little brilliant blue eyes sucking away on her little plug until she finally closed her eyes and was sleeping like the little angel she was. I looked over at Harper who was watching me watch Piper with the same eyes our daughter had. She took her out of my arms and swaddled her a little bit tighter. Kissed her little head and got up to put her in the cradle on my side of the bed. When she climbed back into bed she snuggled up against me and I held her until she was asleep. I now said prayers every night thanking God, instead of cursing the thought of him. When I looked at my angels sleeping next to me I knew without a doubt that God was real. Through hell and heartache I was given the strength I needed to be in the place I was now. Each step I had taken in the past year brought me to Harper and Piper. I have said it before and today is no different; would do it all again to know my reward was what I have now. Love in its truest form, a gift only God above could have given me.
FORGED Book 2
DEDICATION To those who find hope when all hope seems lost. To those who find strength to move forward when others would retreat.
CHAPTER ONE In Hell It’d been three days since his family had gone back to England, and Maddox Hines sat on the couch in the rented apartment next door to Harper’s. He felt his chest tighten when he thought about the fight they’d had. The last time she spoke to him was three days ago. Maddox and Harper waved goodbye as their families walked through the security gate at the airport. His sister, London, blew kisses to them and he watched Harper catch them and smile as she threw a kiss back to her before they all disappeared down the corridor to their gate. Maddox smiled at Harper and reached for her hand. She stepped back and shook her head “no”. “Did I do something to offend you, Harper?” “We don’t have to pretend anymore.” “I hope I didn’t give you the impression I was pretending.” “Maddox, nothing has changed, except for the fact that they all know. I was doing a great job keeping this from everyone until you had to show up and screw…” “Harper, I came here to tell you I was sorry. I came here to tell you I love you and wanted to try to work this out. I didn’t expect to come here and discover that you’d been hiding…” Harper turned and walked out of the automatic doors and stood on the curb attempting to hail a cab. Maddox stood beside her confused and hurt. “We have a car coming, Harper.” “There is no ‘we,’ Maddox. There is NO we. Just leave it alone I’m not doing this with you.” The car pulled up and Maddox opened the door, “We can talk about this back at your place.” “My place? You’re not going back to my place, Maddox. You need to go! Just leave me alone to figure all of this out!” Embarrassed by the public outburst and confused by the mixed signals he had been receiving from her, he took her arm. “Harper, get in the damn car!” She pulled away and screamed at the top of her lungs, “Let go of me!” Very quickly security officers were standing beside her. Maddox looked at her. His face was sad, confused, and shocked. She walked away from him and opened the door to the cab that had pulled up behind them. He watched her pull away. She was looking down and he felt his chest tighten, anxiety. He rode back to the apartment complex in silence. He tried to calm himself down by taking deep controlled breaths and releasing them slowly, counting, anything he could think of to make the pain stop. When he got off the elevator he went to her apartment and knocked on the door. She didn’t answer. He sent her a text asking that she just sit down and talk to him, and she didn’t respond. When she came home after six that night, he was sitting in the hallway with his back against the wall. He jumped up, “Where have you been?” She looked at him with no expression, “That isn’t any of your business, Maddox.” “I …Harper…It IS my business. You’re carrying our child!” He was pissed and hurt. “You can go back to England, Maddox.” “I am here for the two of you, I’m not…” She unlocked and walked in her door and shut it behind her leaving him in the hallway. That was the last time he’d talked to her. He was staying in the apartment next to hers, right next door.
He heard her leave every morning and return every evening after work. He reminded himself of what her mother had said, don’t push. He was trying to be strong. The first night he texted her several times and she didn’t return his texts. The past three days he had toned it down, sending only one in the morning telling her to have a nice day and one at night telling her goodnight. She didn’t reply to any of them.
Maddox sat against the door knowing she would be walking by soon, returning from work. He heard her laughing, a sound he hadn’t heard in a few days. He stood and looked out the peep hole and saw Blake walking with her. Blake hadn’t been around since Thanksgiving. Maddox knew they still worked together and that there was nothing he could do about that, but it still made him incredibly heated. Blake had known for a few months that Harper was carrying his child. Blake brought her pastries and desserts. Blake was who she confided in, trusted, and wanted to spend time with. Maddox punched the wall and then immediately looked out the peep hole, hoping they didn’t hear it. Harper stopped and looked back. Blake put his hand on her lower back and urged her to keep walking, which she did. Maddox grabbed an ice pack and held it on his hand and wanted to scream. He threw the ice pack against the wall and walked into his room and changed into warm up pants and a t-shirt. It was cold but he needed to run, to box, to do something. Anything to stop him from ripping apart the apartment. He pulled on a grey hooded Brody Hines Band sweatshirt, threw on his Adidas sneakers, and walked out of the apartment. Maddox walked towards the trail that ran around the manmade lake on the property. He had not been out here since he and Tessa had talked after both families found out about the pregnancy. He could feel angst rising inside of him, and he began to run. He ran to try and escape the pain he felt caused by seeing the woman he loved, laughing with the man she chose to bring into her life at a time that she could have leaned on Maddox. Had he known, he would’ve walked away from his tour and his need to help Jazz get well. If he knew, he would’ve told her how much he loved her. It wouldn’t have taken months for him to gain the courage to go after her. If he knew she would not have had to hide what should be one of the happiest times of a woman’s life from the people she loved and those that loved her. If he knew, she would be smiling and laughing with him. She would be in his arms, she would be… he just knew it. He ran harder, trying to escape the memories of when they’d first met, when he and his family hid from the past. He ran to try to stop the memories of her demanding they be friends and not leaving his room until he agreed, memories of the next morning when they were asleep leaning on each other and still holding hands. When she taught him to swim, their first kiss, the many times she flew off the handle angry at him. The memories of her prom and the first time he told her he loved her. He had run around the lake five times trying to out-run the memories of him trying to forget her and then the memory of when he realized he never could. His pace slowed when the memories of the concert at Madison Square Garden came flooding back and the night they made love for the first time. He slowed to a jog, remembering every detail of what led to right here and right now. Maddox walked around the lake one time to try to cool down, which should not have been hard to do, it was freezing in Geneva, Switzerland in December. He was trying to exhaust himself and this wasn’t enough. He walked into the apartment complex and headed to the fitness center inside where he worked out for another hour. Maddox ran to the elevator that was beginning to close and slipped in just in time. “Sorry,” he smiled and then looked up. Harper was standing in the corner and crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. Even with
the way he had just worked his body into an exhaustion, his emotions were still all over the place. The ride up was uncomfortably quiet. He felt his body tense up. He was pissed that she wouldn’t talk to him. He was pissed that every time he was around her, he wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her how much he loved her and needed to love her more than he needed the next breath of air to fill his lungs. The elevator stopped and he waited for her to get off and followed her. He walked into his apartment, feeling exactly the same as he had left it hours earlier. He looked at his phone and London had called three times. He called back and she didn’t answer. He stripped down and walked into the steamy hot shower and stood under it until it began to run cool. He got out, dried off, and got dressed.
Maddox stood on the balcony looking at the water, trying to bring back the calming feeling it had always brought him. It had not yet frozen over, but still it didn’t move. The lack of movement in the water reminded him of the way he imagined the blood flowed inside of him, just barely enough to keep him alive. He began to feel his chest tighten again and then his phone rang. “Hello London.” He listened to her talk about how much fun she’d had when she was there with him and Harper, and he laughed when she told her about Lexington’s latest stunt. He talked to Lexington who repeated everything London had told him and that she missed him. His father was now on the phone. “How are things going?” “Well,” Maddox sighed, “not good, Dad.” “What do you mean?” Maddox explained that he and Harper had not spoken since after they left the airport. “No Dad, I don’t want anyone here. I’m managing.” “Come home.” “I’m not coming home. I’m going to stay here until she and I talk. Until she’s ready, Dad.” “How is that going to help you, Maddox?” “It’s not just about me anymore.” “It is about you!” “Stop. This fucking sucks, Dad. I don’t want you angry at me and I don’t want anyone taking care of this for me. I’m an adult; I have a child coming into this world in four months. Support me, Dad, but don’t push.”
On Friday, Harper didn’t return at her normal time. Maddox decided he couldn’t sit in the apartment for another day alone while she was out. He dressed, grabbed his coat, a hat, and left. When Maddox returned to the apartment complex after two hours of walking around the city, he had a few shopping bags in his hands as he stood against the elevator wall. The door started to close when Blake stopped it and Harper jumped in laughing. “Sorry.” She laughed and then looked up and saw Maddox. Maddox felt his jaw clench as he looked at her and then looked away. Again, the ride was too long and very silent. When the door opened he bolted out, if he didn’t he would have done something bad. I would’ve obliterated that fucker! He walked into his apartment, slammed the door, and wanted to scream; instead he sat on the couch with his laptop and tried to write. He stopped after two hours when he realized nothing he had written could be put to music.
His phone rang and it was London. He couldn’t talk to her right now, not when he was this angry.
Maddox got out of the shower. He’d washed away the anger and was now just hurt. He’d dried off and brushed his teeth. He walked out in the kitchen drying his hair and grabbed a glass of water. He turned around and Harper was sitting on the couch. “Shit!” Maddox dropped the glass and jumped back avoiding the glass from dropping on his foot. The glass shattered and Harper jumped up to help him, “Don’t!” Harper stopped immediately, “I was just…” “You’ll get cut, just let me…” Maddox looked down and realized he was completely naked, “Christ, Harper.” He grabbed the towel off the counter and wrapped it around his waist. It was too small to cover him and his face turned red. He looked up at Harper who was just as red and hadn’t turned away from him. “Don’t move, just…don’t move,” Maddox jumped over the mess and ran to his room. Harper closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She turned and looked towards the pantry. She was sure she could find the broom there. She knew where it was, his apartment was set up just like hers, the only difference was his was larger, and had five bedrooms instead of two. And she knew she was trying to focus on something else, anything at all besides Maddox completely bare. Her face was heating up and she was so nervous… she might’ve broken out in hives. Maddox walked out with a pair of mesh shorts on. He threw on his sneakers and grabbed the broom and dust pan out of the pantry. He cleaned up the mess while trying to ignore the pounding in his chest that only happened when he was about ready to take stage at one of his concerts or when Harper was around. “Your leg,” Harper’s voice cracked. Maddox looked at her confused. She pointed down, “Your leg is bleeding.” Maddox looked down, and shook his head and shrugged. He finished sweeping up the glass and she started walking towards him. He froze as she got closer and bent down. “Harper, what are you doing?” She looked up at him, “Your leg.” He stepped back quickly, “Okay.” He grabbed some paper towels and wiped up the blood and cringed. “I can…” “The floor, just stay back. I don’t want you to get hurt.” When he had finally wiped up the water he grabbed more paper towels. He wiped the floor down several times hoping to remove any slivers of glass. He took his time knowing the longer he took the longer she would stay and if it took him forever to clean up every sliver-- real or imagined, knowing forever still would not be long enough with her. He felt a burn in his throat and was terrified that months’ worth of pain would erupt from his eyes in front of her. It would not happen. Oh please no. He took several deep breaths calming himself before he turned towards Harper. “Hello.” Maddox looked at her his eyes full of hurt. “Your leg.” Harper pointed and looked down, unable to see him like that, not only physically in pain but emotionally as well. “Oh, yes. Of course,” Maddox turned away and grabbed more paper towels. “You should wash it,” Harper said softly. “It’ll be fine,” Maddox walked over towards her, “Did you need something?” “What?” Harper was confused.
He smiled nervously, “I got out of the shower and you were...” “Oh right, how I could forget,” Harper whispered and Maddox smiled shyly, “No that’s not what I meant.” “Of course not,” Maddox took a deep breath and sat on the floor in front of her. “You’re going to get blood everywhere,” Harper pointed and he looked down. “It’s really no big deal,” Maddox lifted the paper towel and looked at it, “Shit.” He covered it quickly. “Let me see.” Harper knelt down. “No it’s okay. Just please just tell me why you came.” Maddox looked into her eyes, hopeful as he had ever been. “It was nothing, London was just worried. Let’s take care of that first.” Harper went to the kitchen and grabbed more paper towels, “Come sit.” “Look I can take care of it, just tell me what you want.” He sounded defeated. “Please, just let me look at that,” Harper looked down and scowled. Maddox walked over and lifted his leg so that she could see it. “You could use a couple stitches, Maddox. I could call Blake and he could...” Maddox pulled his leg slowly back and looked at her closing his eyes tightly and exhaling, “No.” He walked into the bathroom and rinsed his leg under the bathtub faucet. There was a shard of glass in his leg. He grabbed tweezers from the medicine cabinet and winced as he pulled it out. He looked in the mirror and she was standing behind him. “Do you have hydrogen peroxide?” “It will be fine.” His tone was clipped, unbelievable, Blake, fix my leg! FUCK BLAKE, he thought. “I’m going to get some things. I’ll be right back.” Maddox was sitting on the couch when the door opened. “Blake wants to look at it.” Harper looked briefly in his eyes and then quickly away, unwilling to see whatever emotion she just evoked from him allowing Blake to return with her. Maddox stood up quickly. “I said I was fine.” “Come on Maddox, it’s no big deal.” Blake walked towards him. “I said no. Thank you for the offer but I would rather the fucking thing turn green.” Trembling with rage Maddox took a deep breath and walked to the door and opened it, “Thanks for stopping by.” “Maddox. London said you seemed…” “Harper, please.” Maddox closed his eyes tightly and clenched his jaw. “Fine. Have a good night Maddox.” Harper whispered as she walked by.
Maddox heard a knock on the door and looked at the clock, it was almost midnight. He jumped out of bed and ran to the door. Harper pushed her way past him, “Sit down.” “Did your boyfriend leave?” She shut the door and quickly walked past him as she removed her gloves and hat, “Don’t.” “Don’t what Harper?” “Just let me help you take…” “I don’t need your God damn help Harper, I need you!” “Maddox, just…” Maddox opened the apartment door, “When you want to talk about us, or our child… feel free to come back.”
“You’re telling me to leave?” Harper was shocked. “I’m telling you I would rather be alone and locked in a fucking closet than be next door watching you and your goddamned boyfriend flounce in and out laughing and, never mind… When you’re ready to talk, let me know. If you’re having issues with something pregnancy related, please let me know. Don’t you bring him in here and …that fucking hurt Harper,” his eyes widened and he cleared his throat. Harper looked up at him sadly, “I just wanted to help.” “Well you did, thanks,” Maddox looked away willing her to just leave it alone. Afraid he would break, and he couldn’t afford to do that. “Please let me...” “Harper,” he grabbed her face and lifted it so he was looking in her eyes; “I’m trying to be strong for you and my child. I’m trying to keep it all together, but I’m not shatter proof. Please know that asking you to leave is for self-preservation.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Maddox stepped back and closed his eyes, he shook his head and then opened his eyes again. He took her hand softly and held it to his rapidly beating chest. He kissed her fingers and let go, “Is it still beating, Harper?” Confused she shook her head yes, “I couldn’t tell.” Maddox stepped back and opened the door wider. Harper stood looking up at him and then turned around and walked back into the kitchen. She opened the bag and set the supplies on the counter. “Harper, please…” “Did you clean it?” “Sure,” Maddox stood at the door so worked up in frustration that he was sure he was going to lose it. “Please let me,” Harper looked down sadly. He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his wallet and returned to the kitchen. He grabbed the bag and pulled out the receipt and then opened his wallet and handed her money to cover the costs of the supplies. “I don’t want your money!” Maddox’s eyebrows shot up, “Then take the shit and…” “Screw you, Maddox,” tears started falling down her cheeks. Maddox’s jaw dropped in surprise and he grabbed a tissue and wiped her face. He hated when she cried, and he hated when it was his fault she was crying, “Please don’t do that.” “Then let me help you!” “Fine, just don’t cry.” “Sit up here on the counter.” Harper poured hydrogen peroxide in the cut and then applied triple antibiotic ointment. She looked up at him frequently to make sure he was alright. Just her being that close, touching him, caring for him, made him feel relaxed. “What’s that?” Maddox pushed her long blonde hair to the side so he could see what she was doing. Her body shook slightly when his fingers brushed over her neck. Harper cleared her throat, “It’s like super glue for skin.” “Alright, are you okay?” “Yep, and you’re all done,” Harper stood back and forced a smile, “I should go.” Maddox closed his eyes and shook his head no, “Please don’t.” Harper looked up at him, “The definition of insanity involves repeating the same behavior, and expecting a different outcome.” Maddox lifted her chin, “You forgot the part about without changing anything.” “What’s changed Maddox?”
“Everything, Harper.” Maddox looked at her intensely. “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean…” “I didn’t come here over a week ago knowing that was even…” “And I didn’t tell you, so I’m a horrible…” “Shut up, Harper.” Maddox jumped off the counter and grabbed her face. “It’s a fucking bonus.” “You’re pissed at me -- everyone is pissed at me.” Harpers lip trembled. “I chose to keep it. It doesn’t mean you should have to be…no, no, no.” “I thought you hid this because of my lifestyle, Harper. I’m a bit confused.” Maddox was still holding her face. “There are a hundred reasons why this can’t happen—a million.” Harper pulled her head back, her eyes blinked rapidly. “Yet two that trump it all, Harper.” Maddox crossed his arms in front of him and leaned back against the counter. “I have to go.” Harper started walking away. Maddox pulled her back against his chest and into his hard, strong body. “I’ll never hurt you again.” He kissed her neck softly and then reached down and rubbed her belly. “I will hurt you never.” “Then just walk away, Maddox.” Harper pulled away slowly. “Never.” Maddox pulled her back to him and kissed her neck. Harper took a deep breath and slowly pulled away from him. “I have to go.” “Please, come back soon.” Maddox opened the door.
CHAPTER TWO Hormones Harper walked back into her apartment and sat on the couch. He was right, she had kept it all to herself, not sharing the news of her pregnancy with anyone. Blake had found out by accident and had been by her side for all of it. He didn’t make judgments or demands-- he just supported her in anything she decided. He’d even managed to get her out of a month long depression she had fallen into after she found out. Blake made her laugh, smile, and even forget for just a few moments that she was carrying a child, one that belonged to her first love, her first kiss, her first everything. They watched movies, played games, went for walks and talked. He held her when she fell apart. Her phone chimed - Goodnight Harper…MH She looked at it and shook her head. This is his child too, but she was so afraid of what he would allow into its life. She had been so angry at him for so long. - We need to talk…HA Within seconds there was a knock on her door, she opened it as he was pulling a sweatshirt over his head. “I didn’t mean right now.” “Alright,” Maddox’s tone was defeated and it hurt her. “Just tell me when.” “Aren’t you tired?” “No Harper, I don’t sleep. Just text me when you want to talk.” “I don’t want the baby around your-- lifestyle.” Maddox stopped and turned back around. “I don’t want it to be in danger.” Harper looked away and wiped tears that started to fall. “I just want it to be safe and healthy and happy and…” Maddox grabbed her and hugged her tightly and she cried against his chest. “Let’s go talk.” Maddox started walking towards his apartment with her still in his arms. “We can go…” “No.” Maddox opened his door and walked her to the couch. “This is a mess.” Harper looked up into his sad eyes. “Then we fix it.” “You don’t sound so sure, Maddox.” “Harper, I don’t know what to say to you because I don’t want to upset you, or push you any further away than I have already.” “That’s crap.” “Please tell me what you expected to happen when I finally found out you were having or had given birth to our child?” His voice shook. “I’m going home.” Harper stood up and walked towards the door. Maddox sprung in front of her. “No Harper-- answer the question! I’ve been sitting here for over a fucking week waiting to talk about this with you. Giving you space to figure out how you wanted to proceed with this.” “Proceed with this?”
“Harper please, just sit, just tell me what you want. But just so you know; me walking away is NOT an option.” “I hate you!” Maddox leaned against the door and smiled, finally. “You’re an ass!” “I know.” He smiled and walked towards her. “Come on, sit, and let’s work this all out.” “I don’t want to, I’m tired and cranky and...What are you doing?” Harper squealed when Maddox picked her up and started carrying her towards the master suite. “We’re going to talk and you’re tired. If you fall asleep, you fall asleep in bed. If you wake up and you need to add to what has been discussed, you can. We are doing this now, Harper.” “Put me down!” He kept walking with a smug look on his face. “If this is some evil trick to get me in bed.” Maddox laughed and set her in the middle of the bed. Harper scooted to the headboard. “It’s not funny!” Maddox crawled up from the foot of the bed his eyes fixed on hers, “Knock it off.” She looked away and he stopped and sat on his knees. “Let’s talk.” He took a deep breath and she looked at him her eyes widened. “Harper-- don’t look at me like that.” She cleared her throat. “Like what?” “Fuck.” Maddox hid his face in his hands. Harper pulled them away. “Thought we were going to…” Maddox grabbed the back of her head and kissed her. When she didn’t pull away he kissed her again and ran his tongue slowly across her lower lip causing her to whimper. He started to pull away and she grabbed his bottom lip with her teeth. He groaned against her mouth. Harper climbed on his lap. “Sweetness, don’t start something you don’t want to finish.” He pulled back and looked at her. She wanted to touch him, kiss him and more than anything she wanted to believe he wanted to change, but this was Maddox Hines. The very broken boy who had made her feel loved and wanted, but wasn’t capable of loving her. Hating him, the hate she knew could be felt was never going to be an option but protecting her heart, she had to do that in order to survive. Her body craved his touch. She rationalized that she was pregnant and he was a craving she would indulge in. If she had learned anything from the past she knew soon after it happened Maddox would leave. He always did. She knew this, and she knew it wasn’t going to stop her from touching him just this one last time. After that, he’d leave her alone. “I really want you.” “Me, or Thumper?” She opened her eyes and looked down. “Your lips, and Thumper.” She kissed him hard and he kissed her back. “Harper, I love you. It’s all of me or nothing.” “Yeah, all of you.” She kissed him again. He took her face in his hands and kissed her nose. “I need to know that…” “Seriously Maddox, I’m pregnant and incredibly horny and if you don’t just shut up and fuck me I’m going to…” “Going to what?” “Maddox, just shut up,” she leaned in and tried to kiss him. He closed his eyes and sat back, “I’ve got to be the stupidest man in the world.” He opened his eyes. “Do you love me?” “Do I need to say it in order to get laid?” Maddox started to laugh and she slugged him in the arm. “Yeah, you do.”
“You banged me back stage at a rock concert all fucked up and didn’t ask for me to say it then!” This should be easy, and he wasn’t making it so. “I knew it then.” Maddox scowled and looked up. “Are we going to make this work?” “Are you going to put out?” “Do you love me, Harper?” Harper started to laugh and flopped back on the bed. “I love Thumper.” “He loves you too, Sweetness.” “Well than tell him to hop out here and play.” Maddox smiled, stood up, and walked to the top of the bed and sat against the headboard. He reached down and grabbed her underneath the arms and pulled her back to his chest. “I love you. I came here with all intentions of winning back your love and your heart.” “But then you found out I was knocked up.” Harper whispered. Maddox rubbed her belly. “Your mother is stressed out because your father was a complete ass.” “You’re by-passing me now.” There was a smile in her voice. “Shh, I need to talk to our child.” “It doesn’t…” Maddox covered her mouth. “She does not mean to call you an It. We just don’t know yet what you are.” Maddox felt her relax and lean into him. He kissed her head and he felt her shake a little, “Are you alright?” “No,” she whispered feeling stupid about what had just happened. “It would be easy Maddox, I understand –us. I can accept it too, just …I’m scared.” “Don’t be,” he continued to rub her stomach. “I’ve thought about giving it up for adoption,” he didn’t say anything, “Now that’s not an option.” “Harper, why would you even consider…” “To keep it safe, Maddox!” She started to pull away. He held her tighter so that she couldn’t leave, “Okay and that’s because of me. I get it… but let me prove to you that I’ll do anything and everything to keep you and our child safe.” Harper looked over her shoulder and he wiped away her tears. “Don’t cry, Sweetness.” “You broke my heart, Maddox.” “I’ll fix it.” “You left me for someone else, Maddox. “I left you to keep you away from a crazy fucked up mess, Harper.” “What’s changed?” it wasn’t really a question, it was her attempt at ending the conversation. “When you left New York, I didn’t have time to think about anything but trying to fix the mess I’d made. It was easier to deal with all that then deal with losing you. I just knew you deserved better than a fucked up kid like me.” “I never thought of you like that Maddox, well not until…” Harper yawned. “Okay but I did. I realized how stupid it was trying to help her without anyone else’s help. Then seeing how she reacted to you and then what happened after. I never really thought how it would affect you. You’ve always been so strong. But not me, I just couldn’t stay away anymore. I had a lot of time to think and reflect on our conversation at the beach. I should’ve listened to your concerns then but I couldn’t see past wanting you.” Harper yawned again, “Does she still live with you?” “She and Zach live in my house yes, until it sells. I’ve been there a few times. She has friends now, and she and Zach are sort of getting along.” “What do you mean sort of?” “She gets angry with him when he talks about their parents. But that isn’t what I want to discuss with
you. After you and I were… after New York, I stopped allowing her in my room. I was pretty stupid to think that was okay. She flipped out about me and Ally and the other girls from MASS hanging out, but I told her it was not her concern.” “Do you like her, Ally?” “Yes, she’s a great person. But she’s my friend Harper, that’s all.” “I guess it's none of my business.” “It certainly is your business. I’d like you to meet her…” “The last chick you wanted me to meet…” “She’s different.” “I see.” “Harper you’re tired, and the baby…” Harper rolled her eyes, “Do you think it only sleeps when I do?” “No, I’ve done a lot of reading,” he laughed. She sat up and turned around, “About what in particular?” “Chapters…” Harper covered her ears and laughed, when she stopped he was smiling at her, “About all of it, Harper. I don’t want to miss a thing.” “It …” “Okay we need to stop calling the baby it,” Maddox grabbed her hand and kissed it and her face flushed. “By we you mean I need to stop calling the baby it?” “Yeah,” he smiled, “and ‘the baby’ stops too. It’s our baby Harper, mine and yours.” Harper looked down at their hands, “I haven’t been the best Mommy.” “Don’t do that-- you haven’t had a chance to be excited. We need to change that.” “Maddox, Blake is going to be hurt.” “Okay.” “It’s not okay. I should’ve never…” “What made you confide in him?” She looked at his eyes: full of sadness and disappointment, “It happened when I was sick. He came here out of the blue, bringing soup. I threw up on him. He went into the bathroom to clean up and the test was sitting there.” “So you didn’t go to him asking for help?” “No, and Maddox, I don’t need anyone’s help,” Harper looked down. “What had you planned to do before he showed up?” “I hadn’t had time to process it, I was sick.” “Okay.” “But he has been a good friend, Maddox.” “I bet he has,” Maddox tried not to sound angry. “He’ll do whatever I ask him to.” “I’m sure.” “Maddox don’t, okay? Just listen. When I’m not exhausted, I’ll figure out how to tell him that you’re going to be part of its life.” “I can tell him for you,” he smiled impudently. “Don’t be a jerk.” “Fine, but when you tell him-- if he says one thing to upset you, I swear to God I’ll break his fucking face.” Harper rolled her eyes, “You’re going to be a daddy soon you can’t do things like that.” Maddox looked at her, “When you tell him you love me, how will he react?”
“I never said…” “Will you just cut the shit, Harper? I know you’re mine.” “Maddox, I’m tired and we can talk about baby stuff, but this…” “Fine,” he growled and sat back. Harper smiled, “I’m going to go back to my place.” “Like hell you are,” Maddox grabbed her hands. “You can’t make me stay here.” “Oh yes I can,” he smiled smugly. “And we need to finish this conversation in the morning so you will stay here. By the way when is your lease up?” “Maddox, you’re impossible.” “Persistent as hell. Now lay down so I can talk to our baby.” Maddox was ecstatic, he knew even though she was just testing, dipping her toe in the water, she was giving him a chance to prove himself. If his assumption was wrong, he didn’t care. She loved him and he knew it, he would never hurt her again and he would work his ass off to show her that. He gently pulled her down. “It’s asleep,” Harper laughed as her head hit the pillow. “When can we open that damn envelope?” “In the morning,” Harper smiled. “Yeah?” “Yeah, I’m ready to celebrate this baby.” “Our baby,” Maddox bent down and pulled her shirt up and kissed her belly, “Tomorrow we find out who you are,” he kissed it again. “Maddox: the baby is right here,” she guided his hand, “This is where I feel the flutters.” “That is amazing.” “It is.” Maddox kissed her belly and rubbed it gently, “Your Daddy loves you little one, so, so much.” Harper moved her leg so it wasn’t holding him back; she closed her eyes as he continued to talk to the baby.
Harper woke up and Maddox was asleep with his head resting on her upper thigh, her other leg was over his waist. One hand was resting on her stomach and the other was wrapped under her leg resting on the other side of her stomach. It looked like he was holding her belly. His long lashes were fanned across his face; he was still the most stunning man she had ever laid eyes on. He took a deep breath and nuzzled into her leg pushing her pajama shorts further up. Harper wanted to touch his hair. Remembering how soft it was, bringing memories of how the rest of him felt flooding into her mind. She closed her eyes tightly and she shook her head. She opened her eyes and he was looking up at her. “Sorry I didn’t…” “We fell asleep.” “Yeah,” he rubbed her belly and kissed it, “Good morning baby, we get to find out what you are today.” Harper smiled slightly and held her hand over his, “I’ll go grab it. I left my phone as well.” He kissed her belly again, “I’ll get it, and you stay in bed. Doesn’t look like you could have been very comfortable last night. I’ll make you…” Harper rubbed his head and he smiled nervously, “Your hair’s soft.” “Thank you?” Harper laughed and laid back.
“Are you going to move your leg so I can…?” “Nope,” Harper giggled. “Fine with me,” he rubbed her belly and kissed it some more. “Okay maybe you should stop that,” Harper’s voice quivered. “Maybe I don’t want to,” Maddox looked up at her and saw her eyes filled with desire. “Sorry I’m so…” “I love you,” Maddox kissed her belly again, her back arched slightly and he kissed lower, “I love you.” “Oh damn,” she whimpered. “Harper, if you need anything I will be the one who takes care of it.” “I’m pregnant,” Harper moaned as he kissed her hip bone, “Maddox did you read chapter…” “Mmm huh?” he moved lower and rubbed his nose across her pelvic bone. “You know I…I…” he moved lower and she gasped. Harper grabbed the back of his head and moaned and he laughed and continued kissing and lightly nipping. “Stop, stop, stop,” Harper moaned. “Sweetness, you may want to let go of my hair and maybe ease up on my face with your thighs, if you really want me to stop,” Maddox chuckled. Harper let go and sat up, “I don’t know…” Maddox kissed her, “Shut up, Harper.” Harper blushed and covered her face. “I’m going to grab that envelope.” “Now?” Harper screeched. Maddox laughed and kissed her head, “Yeah. I’m not that easy, Harper.” Maddox started walking toward the door. “But you're mine right?” Maddox froze, his heart beat against his chest rapidly, “What?” “You heard me,” Harper whispered. Maddox turned around, “Don’t mess with me, Harper.” “You’re right I just said it. I’m just trying to get laid.” Maddox turned around, “I’ll be right back.” “Maddox…” “I’ll be right back.” Maddox shut the door behind him and held his hand to his heart and took a deep breath. He opened Harper’s door and went into her room and grabbed the envelope and her phone. He shut the door and walked out of her apartment, and looked up. Blake was coming down the hall. “Fucker,” Maddox growled. “How’s your leg?” “Well Blake, it’s just fine thank you,” Maddox smiled obnoxiously and went to walk around him. “Is she awake?” “She isn’t there.” Blake stuck his hand out to stop him, “Why do you have her phone?” “Why is it any of your fucking business?” “Because she doesn’t need a…” “Listen up Doc, you are two fucking seconds from getting your ass pounded. Walk the fuck away and call her. If she wants to talk… she’ll answer her phone.” Maddox walked away and left him standing with his mouth gaping.
He opened the door to the apartment and Harper stood just inside the door completely naked. “I love you. I always have, always will, don’t you hurt me again.” Maddox shut the door with his foot and closed his eyes briefly. Harper wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her up with one arm, she wrapped her legs around him and he kissed her, “Never. I promise. Damn you’re beautiful, more beautiful than I remembered. I love you… The door flew opened, “I want to talk…” Harper gasped and Maddox walked into the bedroom, “Did you know he was here?” “Yes… no… he was in the hallway I told him to call…fuck! Here.” He pulled a sweatshirt over her head and she stood speechless, “Harper, breathe Sweetness and step into these shorts.” “I don’t know what to say to him, Maddox.” “Well let’s just go do this,” Maddox pulled her shorts up, “I can’t believe I’m dressing you instead of… fucker! Let’s go.” Blake was pacing in the living room when they walked out, “This is seriously what you want or did your hormones just kick into overdrive?” “Blake I…” “I bought you something to take care of yourself if you….” “Blake! Stop, that’s not it.” “Then what? You want someone who’s going to treat…” Maddox looked at Harper, “I’m going to rip his face off.” “Maddox, he has just...” “He bought you a fucking vibrator?” Harper looked at him and her face turned red. “Did you like it?” Maddox looked surprisingly interested. “Maddox, just give me a minute okay?” Harper’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. “You better make nice Doc, and by that… I don’t mean send a fucking gift!” Maddox turned to Harper, “I’m making you breakfast and then I’m going to…” “Okay, please calm down okay?” Maddox walked into the kitchen and Harper heard him sputtering obscenities. “Blake, I’m sorry you walked in on that.” “Are you?” “Well, you’re my friend and I…” “Harper, are you really going to do this with him?” Blake sneered, and pointed to the kitchen. Maddox started singing loudly, “I can fucking hear you and I don’t want to, so I’m going to sing until you either leave or become a fan. Whatever she wants I’ll do, because I love her and she loves me too, man.” “He’s a lunatic,” Blake snapped. Harper smiled, “Yeah I know, but he’s my lunatic and this baby’s father. I want to be friends still Blake. Nothing has to change.” “How will he deal with that, huh Harper?” “Hey Sweetness, is Blake staying for breakfast?” Maddox yelled in a sticky sweet voice. “YES!” Blake snapped. “Perfect,” Maddox laughed loudly. Maddox walked out with a bowl of fresh fruit and toasted bagel, “We weren’t expecting company, but have a seat.” He left the room and brought in plates, silverware, and three glasses of milk. Harper looked at Maddox anxiously, “Have a seat.” He pulled out her chair, “Doc?” Maddox pulled out a chair for him. Blake’s eyes grew large and he was angry. Harper had never seen him like this, “Blake, please sit.”
Blake sat down and Maddox passed around the bowl of fruit, “It looks delicious doesn’t it?” Harper looked at him and shook her head yes. “You’re seriously going to do this?” Blake laughed, “Raise a child with someone who…” “Someone who has loved her always, someone who will never again put another before her? Someone who will make it their priority in life to ensure her and OUR child are safe? Someone who belongs to her heart, mind, body and soul? Someone who will not sit here and listen to her be questioned by a man who is supposed to be her friend, but buys her a FUCKING…” “Maddox please…” “Apparently she didn’t use it, if she ended…” Maddox flew out of his chair and was on Blake in the snap of a finger. “MADDOX NO!” Maddox stood up and looked at Blake, “Get the fuck out!” “This is what you want, Harper?!” Blake screamed as he stood up. “Yes,” Harper whispered and stood in front of Maddox, “I’m sorry. We can talk another time Blake, okay?” “Why?!” “Well. Because,” Harper whispered. “Have fun with that, Harper, I pray to God you don’t end up on the receiving end of one of his outlandish episodes.” Blake slammed the door behind him and Harper stood with her back to Maddox. “Harper I…” She turned around and looked at him. He was nervous… not angry like she expected, “You didn’t break his face.” Maddox shook his head no, “But I wanted to.” “I know,” Harper hugged him. “I love you.” Harper pulled away, “I’m so scared.” “You don’t have to be.” “I love you Maddox, but it doesn’t mean I can forget everything.” “You let me work on making you forget. Then when you trust me again, we never look back, alright?” Harper looked at him cautiously and shook her head yes, “Good… now let’s feed you and,” Maddox smiled, “Can we open the envelope?” “Yes,” Harper smiled. “Shall we do it alone or put our families on speaker phone, or Skype?” “Alone,” a smile slowly crept across Harper’s face, “Wait until London finds out.” “Yeah I know,” Maddox laughed and kissed her sweetly, “Will you have time off for a long weekend anytime soon?” “I have two weeks at Christmas,” Harper smiled, “Why?” “We should ask your parents to come to Liverpool, your brothers as well. We can tell them all together?” Harper smiled, “That sounds great.” “Good, and then I’m going to have a chance to make up for that one night?” “In Liverpool?” “Yes, we can start there,” Maddox kissed her again. He stood back and looked her up and down, “You look good in my shirt, Harper. But it would look better on my bedroom floor.” Harper laughed, “How about the dining room floor?” She lifted it over her head. “Oh yeah that works,” Maddox’s mouth was on her breast before she had both arms out of the shirt.
He bit down lightly and she whimpered, “So fucking good.” His hand gently kneaded the left as he sucked on the right tugging and pulling at her nipple. Her breath became short and her knees began to weaken. He lifted her onto the table and sat her on the edge standing between her legs. His lips moved to her cheek and slowly down her jaw and across her shoulder blade. “I need to taste you, Sweetness,” Maddox’s tongue ran between her breasts and down her belly stopping briefly, “Go to sleep baby, Daddy needs Mommy’s wet, hot…” “Maddox… shhh,” Harper urged his head down and he laughed. He pulled her shorts down and growled, “Lay back.” He lifted her legs and was on his knees. He licked her gently from back to front, “Impossible, even better than I remember.” He licked her deeper and lifted her legs over his shoulders and pulled her down hard against his face and growled as his tongue licked her deeper and circled her clit. “Oh Maddox,” she moaned. “Mmm.” His tongue pushed just inside her and he licked upward harshly. His thumb circled her clit and he continued licking until she came loudly, pulling his hair and screaming his name. She lay trembling on the table and he grabbed the bowl of fruit and placed a strawberry between his teeth and bent over her body and rubbed it across her lips, and she laughed a lazy laugh and took a bite. “Good, huh?” “Uh huh,” Harper chewed slowly still trying to come down from the high of a much needed orgasm. Maddox grabbed another strawberry and squeezed the juice out of it onto her chest, she jumped slightly, opened her eyes and smiled as he did it to the other breast and then licked them clean. “Why are your clothes on?” Harper smiled. “You ready for another?” He fed her another strawberry and nodded her head yes. “I’m going to cum inside you, Harper.” “You won’t get me pregnant.” “No?” “No. Maddox your pants are still on.” She pushed herself up on her elbows. He dropped his shorts, “Commando? Was it like that all night?” “Yeah. Oh IT is now banned from your vocabulary.” He bent over and kissed her and she felt him rub against her and moaned. He stood up and looked down at her. He held himself in his hand and stroked himself up and down, slowly. “Is this what you want, Sweetness?” She nodded and swallowed hard, “Please.” He lifted her legs and rested her feet on his shoulders and kissed her ankle. He rubbed his thick, hard cock against her and she whimpered, “We are going to take it easy.” “Oh please.” He continued rubbing himself against her slowly teasing her as she moaned his name. He pushed just inside her and rolled his hips slowly. “So wet, so hot. Damn, you feel so good.” He pushed in slightly deeper and thrust upward hitting her G spot. She burned and trembled, “Maddox …oh please.” “More Sweetness?” “Please,” he felt her tighten around him and he pushed in slowly. She thrust her hips and whimpered, “Oh God!” “Good Sweetness?” “So…good... oh so good.” Maddox pushed into her and she screamed. He moved slowly in and out, “Damn so tight, so fucking hot. More?” “Oh yes, please! Oh Maddox--- please,” she grabbed his forearms and dug her nails into him. He pushed into her, taking her further, “Easy please Maddox, oh!”
He held back not pushing her any further than she could handle, he felt her tighten and quickened his pace until he came violently, loudly, filling her full and overflowing. His heart was beating and he wiped the sweat off his forehead and then lifted Harper up and held her tightly against his chest, “I love you,” they both said at the same time and then laughed softly as they kissed. “We should shower,” Harper smiled as he lifted her off the table and still deep inside of her, he carried her to the bathroom. He reached in with one hand still cupping her backside holding her up, turned on the water and walked into the shower. “Maddox?” Harper gasped. “Yeah?” “Your…it’s… getting hard again.” “I am well aware of that,” he kissed her neck. “Inside of me,” she whispered. “Yes.” He groaned as he began to move his hips. “Oh my,” Harper moaned.
CHAPTER THREE Together Harper lay panting in Maddox’s bed, he watched her smiling. She opened her eyes and laughed, “Are you going to go to sleep?” “I prefer not to,” he leaned over and kissed her head and pulled her snuggly against him, “We didn’t open the envelope.” “We were busy,” Harper giggled. “We were,” he kissed her again, “get some sleep, Sweetness.” Maddox rubbed her back as she drifted off to sleep. He closed his eyes but couldn’t fall asleep. He hadn’t slept for more than an hour or two at the most in over a week. Last night was the most sleep he’d gotten in months. Harper woke up, and Maddox wasn’t next to her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes and looked again. She swung her legs over the bed and went into the bathroom. Maddox was sitting on the floor staring at the wall. “Hey,” Harper whispered. Maddox jumped, startled, and stood up and smiled, “You alright? Did you need something?” Harper smiled, “Just to use the bathroom. Was I hogging the bed Maddox?” “No, I just…I don’t sleep well and I didn’t want to wake you,” he forced a smile, “I think I can sleep now. I’ll meet you out there; do you need anything, a drink, something to eat?” “No, just to use the bathroom.” “Alright then, I’ll be right out there,” Maddox pointed to the door, “If you need anything alright?” Harper shook her head yes. Seeing him sitting on the floor caused Harper to become anxious. Why wasn’t he sleeping? Was he reconsidering them again? She washed her hands and looked in the mirror, whatever happens it’ll be fine. She rubbed her belly and let out a deep breath. Maddox stood up off the bed, yawned and stretched before patting the bed, “Come on, Sweetness.” Harper climbed in bed and laid down facing away from him. He lay beside her and pulled her against his chest, “Closer,” he whispered against the back of her head. He felt her tremble slightly, “Are you cold?” She shook her head no and he took her face gently in his hand tilting her chin so she was facing him, “Why are you crying, Harper?” His face showing signs of anxiety. “I’m not,” she quickly wiped her tears away. Maddox crawled over her so that he was facing her, “Talk to me please. Are you second guessing us, Harper, because…” “Are you?” her voice squeaked and more tears fell. “Harper, why would you…” “You were in the bathroom…” “I didn’t want to wake you,” Maddox wiped her tears and kissed her head. “Maddox don’t… tell me why-- the truth, why aren’t you sleeping?” Maddox let out a heavy breath, “I love you. When you told me you can’t just forget I was serious when I said that I would make you. I didn’t sleep before because you haunted my dreams.” “Nightmares?”
“No, not at all,” Maddox closed his eyes, “Dreams that haunted me, dreams of you and I together, dreams of our lives combined, and even dreams of you and I with children…” “Children?” “Yes, three no, four actually,” Maddox smirked. “So not happening,” Harper smiled as he wiped the last tears from her face. “You are so incredibly beautiful and I love you so damn much,” Maddox kissed her. “Then why were you in there?” “You’re really going to make me do this?” Maddox squinted his beautiful blue eyes. “Not if you don’t want to,” Harper looked in his eyes. “My stomach is in knots,” Maddox pulled her head against his chest, “I have to make sure I don’t fuck up.” He felt her tense up, “No Sweetness, not like that. I can’t lose you, not ever again. I’m trying to figure out how to make it up to you. How to show you that you are fucking everything to me. How this child of ours is going to be the most loved child in the world, the universe. And I’m trying to figure out how to do that without fucking suffocating you, or pushing you away. It’s so fucked up,” he took her hand and held it against his rapidly beating heart. “You’ve done this to me from day one. The first time I saw you, I was a mess, Harper-- yet this happened. Your soul encompassed mine and I have fought so hard for years to stop it and I couldn’t. I wanted better for you. And now I’m fighting like hell to at least learn how to control it enough so that you don’t get sick of me. So that I believe that if I fall asleep, you’ll still be here in the morning, so that whenever you make little moans in your sleep I don’t get a raging fucking hard on. So that you…” Maddox lifted her chin, “Sweetness, I’m pouring it out here and you’re laughing at me?” “You had me at raging hard on,” Harper giggled and then tears began to flow. “And you Sweetness, have raging hormones,” Maddox licked at her cheek tasting her tears. “Don’t leave the bed again,” Harper looked up, “And don’t stop trying to make me sick of you.” She kissed him and closed her eyes, their mouths still touching each other’s, “I cannot get enough of you.” “No?” he kissed her softly. “No,” she kissed him. “And it’s not raging hormones. It’s this,” Harper held her hand to his chest. “It’s all yours, Harper,” Maddox’s jaw clenched, “to do whatever you need to with it.” “Then I’ll take care of it, like you will with this one,” she pulled his hand to her chest and closed her eyes as his palm ran across her alert nipples and she whimpered softly. She pulled her hand down to her stomach, “And this one.” He rubbed her belly. “I will never stop, Harper. I couldn’t if I wanted to.” “Good, then no more hiding in the bathroom.” Harper pecked him on the cheek. “Can’t promise that. You won’t be able to walk and our child will be born with an indentation in … the child’s head.” “You almost said its,” Harper giggled. “Yeah I did,” He smiled. “Hey Maddox, don’t hide in the bathroom,” Harper closed her eyes. “I said—hey Sweetness what are you doing? Oh God,” Maddox rolled to his back as she took him in her mouth, “Aw fuck.” Harper winked at him and with her mouth full of him, “No suck.” “Yeah, keep doing that,” Maddox pulled her hair away from her face, “So fucking good.” Harper’s tongue traced the rim of his rock hard cock and traveled down his shaft. She sucked hollowing her checks and his hand fisted her hair as she tasted the salty juice beading at the tip of his head. She licked across him tasting him, “Mmm.” “Damn it Harper,” Maddox grabbed the head board; “Easy Sweetness or I’m going to fill that hot little mouth of yours up.” “Mmm,” Harper licked down his thick, throbbing erection and licked further down until she had his
sack in her mouth. She looked up and his eyes rolled slightly back and his jaw clenched. She stroked him slowly at first and moved faster. She took his head in her mouth as her hand continued swiftly stroking up and down. “Sweetness,” Maddox wrapped his hand around hers gently, “Slow, or I’m going to fucking blow.” Harper stopped sucking and looked up, “Kind of the point right?” “You don’t have to—damn Sweetness. Harper, tell me what to do. Aw fuck!” “Come in my mouth, Maddox,” Harper’s tongue stroked his throbbing erection. From root to tip and back down. Her tongue rubbed his bulging veins as she watched his face. Heat and desire took over control. His eyes rolled back and his jaw opened slightly. “Fuck Sweetness,” his jaw clenched as he filled her mouth. Harper continued slowly stroking him until he closed his eyes and relaxed. “I fucking love you,” Maddox chuckled sluggishly. Harper walked out of the bathroom and Maddox was falling asleep. He opened his eyes and smiled softly as she curled up next to him, “Best. Blow Job. Ever.” “Awe gee, thanks,” Harper laid her head on his chest and they both fell asleep.
Harper woke to Maddox draped across her body. He had woken her several times throughout the night pulling her against him or laying his arm and leg across her. She loved that he found her in that big bed if she wasn’t touching him in his sleep. His chin was touching her head; she heard each soft, deep breath he took. She looked at the clock and it was nine in the morning. She was not used to sleeping in this late, she had always been an early riser. She snuggled her head against his chest breathing in his scent, it was the same as it’d been since they met. Clean and alluring. She could lay there all morning wrapped in his arms, listening to him breathe and smelling him. She smiled, thinking of how messed up it was that less than two days ago she had been busy reinforcing the wall she had been building up around her since the concert in New Jersey. She was sure it was fireproof, bulletproof, and Maddoxproof. She was Never, Ever, Ever going to get back together with this man, like ever. She smiled bigger as Taylor Swift’s voice ran through her mind and how the Hines family was anti “that type of music”. Maddox owned her heart just like he had for many years. Even before she understood exactly how much of it he owned. She wouldn’t hurt him; he had suffered for fifteen years. She believed him with every cell in her being that he would protect and love both her and the baby once she allowed herself to let him back in. Harper slipped out from underneath him and used the bathroom. She walked into the bedroom as his hands ran over the sheets next to him searching for her. He scowled in his sleep and his eyes fluttered as he started to wake adjusting to the light. He looked at the empty space beside him through squinted eyes and then sat up quickly realizing she was not there. He saw her standing against the door jam, as she unknowingly rubbed her hand over her belly, “Good morning, Harper. Are you alright?” “Good morning, Maddox, and yes I’m fine. Are you?” Harper held back the self-gratified smile from creeping across her face. “I am, but as you well know,” Maddox cocked his eyebrow and stepped off of the bed and walked towards her slowly, “I didn’t like waking up and you being gone.” Maddox wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly as he kissed her soft lips gently. “You should go back to bed,” Harper smiled and kissed him. “You should come, too,” he kissed her. “Yeah?”
Maddox did not reply, he dropped his hands to her hips and lifted her. His lips covered hers and he sucked them and rubbed his tongue gently across them. He dipped his head and slid his mouth down her throat and his tongue dipped down her night shirt between her breasts. His voice was thick and raspy, “This needs to come off.” She lifted her arms as he pulled the hem of her shirt over her head. He squatted down and looked up at her, his eyes glazed and dark as he pulled her panties down, “Step out.” Harper was mesmerized by his eyes and the desire she saw seeping out of him and into her soul. Her body burned for his touch. His tongue glided between her legs stopping at the source of her need and he licked harshly up rubbing her clit. Her entire body shuttered as she whimpered. He kissed up her body and took her nipple lightly between his teeth and he sucked tugging it. “Maddox,” Harper whimpered and wrapped her arms around his neck as she arched her back into him. “I need to be inside of you, Sweetness,” he warned before lifting her and pulling his white cotton pajama bottoms down and pushing into her savagely. “Yes,” she hissed, her head collapsing into his neck. “So good, Sweetness.” He pushed her back against the wall and continued his deep possessive thrusts into her. Harper came loudly and he continued pushing into her, “One more Sweetness, please,” he growled against her ear. “I can’t, oh Maddox,” “Come on I can feel your tight little pussy squeezing me Sweetness, tightening around my cock.” Harper dug into his back and her orgasm crashed through her body as she screamed his name. Maddox came and held her as he sat on the bed. He rubbed her back and covered her cheeks and face with kisses, “Was I too hard on you?” She shook her head no as her body began to relax. After several minutes he kissed her and laid her on the bed and she smiled with her eyes closed. “Hungry?” “I’m... I’ll go make breakfast.” “No you go shower, I’ll do breakfast,” Maddox watched her as she opened her eyes. Her face began turning red, “Are you blushing?” “No!” Her voice squeaked. Maddox laughed, “Yes you are, why?” Harper covered her face and giggled. “Tell me why?” Harper looked up at him, “The things you say.” “Does it offend you?” he sat next to her. Harper shook her head no, “But it should.” “Why?” Maddox took her chin and turned her head towards him. “Do we have to talk about this?” Harper whispered which made him smirk. “We do now,” Maddox kneeled on the floor in front of her, “Your body is beautiful, Harper. You are beautiful. The mere thought of you accepting me inside of you makes my blood start to heat up.” Harper swallowed hard and felt the heat in her face burn hotter. “When that happens the blood feels like it pools in my groin. Then it tingles and my cock gets so hard it almost hurts until it’s right in here,” Maddox ran his finger up her inner thigh and his fingers rubbed the outside of her very wet opening. “Maddox, I need to shower,” Harper’s voice hitched. “Because of this?” his finger pushed inside of her gently feeling the warmth and wet between her legs,
and she gasped, “You and I mixed together Harper, it’s fucking beautiful.” “Maddox…” “Lay back, I need to taste you.” “Maddox…” “Now Harper,” Maddox kissed her and she whimpered in his mouth as his fingers still circled her inside. “Maddox,” she moaned softly, “You can’t.” “Why?” his finger curled up hitting her g spot and she cried out softly. His kisses descended until his tongue brushed her clit. Her breath hitched and he licked her deep inside, “So good Sweetness.” He sucked on her clit and she arched her back, “Oh Maddox.” “Taste us, Sweetness,” Maddox lifted her up and rubbed his finger across her lips. She licked them slowly, he groaned and his jaw clenched. He stood up and kissed her, slowly rubbing his tongue against hers, “So good.” Harper shook her head yes and reached down and held his rock hard erection in her hand, she stroked him slowly. His kisses became more possessive as both of their bodies, inflamed with desire’s touch. Harper pulled away from his kiss and bent down taking him in her mouth, “Taste me Sweetness? Is it good?” She whimpered, “Yes.” He knelt before her on the bed as she sucked harder, “Lay down Sweetness.” “I want to…” “Me too, lay down,” his voice was filled with heat and she did as he asked. He pushed her tits together and pushed his long thick cock between them, “Suck.” He pulled back and turned so he was over her, “I want you in my mouth too, Harper.” “Yes,” she panted as he turned his body and held himself above her. “Roll over sweetness,” he said as he licked her. He lay on his back and she sat above him. She took him in her mouth deeper than before and he pulled her hips grinding her drenched sex into his face. Maddox growled as he licked and sucked. His hands began kneading her ass. His finger lightly rubbed around her tight puckered hole and she gasped, “Sweetness, don’t stop,” he instructed and she did as he said. He pushed his finger into her as his tongue danced with her clit. He ran the slickness back to her ass and lightly, with the tip of his pinky, pushed into her, “Does it hurt, baby?” “No,” she gasped, “But…” “Nothing between us is dirty Sweetness, and I will not hurt you. I need to claim every part of you. Suck harder sweetness, while I taste your wet hot little pussy.” Harper’s body shuttered as he continued eating her. He pushed into her a little more with his pinky and her back arched into his touch, “Fuck yeah, Sweetness.” His tongue licked her where she never imagined it happening and her breaths became deeper, “I’m going to consume you, fill every part of you that has ever felt empty, and parts of you that you never knew were.” His pinky pushed in a little deeper and he felt her tighten around the two fingers deep inside her pussy. “That’s right, consumed Harper. Every part of you claimed by me.” “Yes,” she moaned loudly. “You are mine always.” “Yes,” her voice was full of need. His pinky pulled out slightly, “No.” “You want me deeper in you, Sweetness?”
“Please,” she moaned, and then sucked him faster as her hips curled into his mouth until she came, screaming his name as he filled her mouth with his thick, warm, salty cum. She rolled off of him trying to catch her breath. Maddox sat up and kissed her. “I love you, Harper. Nothing about what we just did was dirty.” Harper nodded. “Good, because if I could figure out a way to fuck every opening, your nose and ears would be my next target.” Harper gasped. “Don’t look so shocked. And I’m going to work on being balls deep in that fine little ass of yours soon. My body was made to please yours, and yours for me to devour and take care of.” Harper smiled shyly, “Okay.” “Your heart too.” Maddox kissed her, “And your belly. I’m going to make you breakfast. You rest.” Maddox kissed her head and started walking out of the room. “Maddox,” Harper sat up, “I love you.” He smiled, “I know and I love you… more.”
Maddox finished making breakfast and smiled as he watched Harper walk out into the kitchen towel drying her long blonde hair, “Beautiful,” he whispered to himself. “Looks very good, thank you. So I was thinking, we spent the entire day yesterday in bed,” Harper sat down in front of the egg white and spinach omelet he had made. “I was thinking about that, too,” he winked and kissed her head. Harper smiled, “That means I have done nothing else, but…well you.” “You did it very well,” Maddox sat next to her. She looked up at him and his beautiful blue eyes were twinkling. She smiled, “But it means I’ll have to spend most the day doing laundry and cleaning my place. Work tomorrow, you know.” “Yeah, I was thinking you should just stay here naked for the next, I don’t know—forever?” Harper laughed, “Very tempting, but reality is…” “Shopping for some maternity clothes…” “Not yet!” “Fine, how about those bra’s for breast feeding, they have these trap doors,” Maddox chuckled and put a bite of omelet in her mouth when she was trying to say something, “Good, right?” “Maddox my clothes…” “You are beautiful whether you wear my t-shirt or the shapeless attire you have been rocking since… never mind, your clothes are perfect,” he looked away. Harper grabbed his chin and turned his face back towards her, “Care to explain?” “You go back to work tomorrow.” “Yes.” “Your work clothes are perfect,” he raised his eyebrow. Harper tried not to laugh. “It’s not all that amusing, Harper.” “Maybe we should go shopping. My wardrobe seems to have reflected my mood lately. But that has changed so maybe I should get some…” Maddox closed her lips with his hands, “I said they are fine.” Harper smiled and shook her head, “Jealous much?”
He cocked his eyebrow, “You could say that.” “So when you’re on stage shaking that beautiful ass I should be jealous?” “Blake,” Maddox rolled his eyes. “Millions of adoring fans who stand in lines to give you…” “Alright. I’ll try to hide, I mean stow away my very jealous tendencies,” Maddox scowled. “I won’t,” Harper sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, “And I’ll so use the whole emotional, pregnant mess card…” “I’ll accept that. You got me, Harper. Any whim, craving, need, want, or desire that you can conjure up will be filled by me. You couldn’t push me away if you tried.” “Maddox that’s called pussy whipped,” Harper laughed. “No Sweetness, that’s called love.” Harper’s eyes widened and she swallowed hard and whispered, “Okay.” “Twitterpated,” Maddox smiled shyly and kissed her cheek. “Twitterpated,” Harper hugged him.
They spent the day in Harper’s apartment doing her laundry and watching the first five seasons of True Blood. Harper had read the Sookie Stackhouse series as an escape during her first year at Cornell and wanted to watch the HBO series. “Is this a whim, or a craving?” Maddox smiled as he emptied the microwave popcorn bag into the bowl. “Popcorn craving, True Blood a need.” “A need huh?” “Yep,” Harper lifted the blanket and Maddox snuggled up next to her on the couch.
Harper woke snuggled up in Maddox’s arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up. “I fell asleep.” “You did. You need rest.” “I rested a lot during the first three months…” “Trimester,” Maddox kissed her nose, “You still need rest. I really like holding you while you sleep.” Harper closed her eyes and held him tighter, “I really like it too, Maddox. A lot, so much it scares me.” Maddox looked into her eyes, “Never be afraid of your love for me. I fought for years thinking you deserved better, Harper. Fucked up so much fighting it.” “Maddox, do you think that it’s because I’m pregnant…” Maddox’s jaw dropped and his body tensed up, “I already told you…” “No, just hear me out,” he started to object and she clamped her fingers over his mouth, “Please, let me, Maddox.” He took a deep breath and sat back. Harper stood up off the couch and knelt on the floor, “When I saw you at the fundraiser, it killed me. The first night I wanted you so bad. I wanted you to fuck me and leave, like you did then.” “Harper,” Maddox growled. “No let me finish!” Maddox nodded his head and scowled.
“When you found out about the baby I knew you wouldn’t walk away. But I wanted you to, Maddox. As much as it hurt knowing for the past week you have been right next door I didn’t want you to feel obligated. I want you to be happy. I want you to live, Maddox,” tears began falling down her face. “What you survived, the hell you have been through—I love you enough to let you live. I love you enough to want all your dreams to come true. I love you enough to walk away from you, and lose part of my soul in the process. I love you enough that if this baby is the reason you’re still here …” Maddox’s eyes were on fire. He stood up abruptly and walked to the door and walked out. Harper followed him, “Maddox!” He turned and picked her up, “You are done fucking talking, do you understand?!” She didn’t have time to reply. His mouth crashed over hers. He pulled her legs around him and she held onto his neck as he walked towards his apartment. He opened the door and walked to the couch and sat her down, “Stay.” Harper watched him disappear down the hallway. Scared that she may have just pushed him too hard. Afraid she had just made him doubt his feelings. Terrified that her words had pushed him back to a place he had lived for years. He walked out and rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. “My turn now, alright?” She shook her head up and down quickly. He sat on the floor in front of her and held her hands and kissed them. “I’m choosing not to go back through that hell. You know what happened to me. But Harper it is what happened to me okay? It’s not at all who I am,” Maddox looked sternly into her eyes. Harper’s lip quivered uncontrollably and she cried harder, “Maddox, I’m so sorry… that’s not what I was…” She stopped talking and sat on his lap with her arms wrapped around him, “I love you. I love you so much.” “I know Harper,” he held her, “I love you just the same.” “You don’t have to…” “Yeah I do. I knew way back then it was wrong. I’m sure it was learned through my reading. I’m sure that’s why Elizabeth taught me to read. I don’t hate her; I feel she did what she did trying to keep me safe. I believe in some twisted way that’s all she could do and get this Harper: I love her for that.” Harper sat up and smiled sadly and kissed him on the cheek saying nothing, allowing him to talk. “Growing up I knew good from bad, and I could even decipher the in-between which I have been told is pretty fucking amazing, all things considered. I didn’t get attached to my captures, they disgusted me. I didn’t get too attached to the children that were brought in and taken out of the home. I couldn’t… self-preservation I assume. I did fight for them and realize now that I was still fighting for Jane. That’s where I have always felt comfortable, fighting for people who needed my help regardless the cost to me. Harper, I know myself better than most people know themselves. For all intents and purposes-- I was my parent, my own family, an Island in a sea of shit. I knew how to not get too deeply attached to anything. I knew how to go without eating for days without it wearing me down; making myself vulnerable to the rabid dogs I was surrounded by. I knew how to keep sane as I was locked in a closet for a week at a time. My family, Brody, Emma, London, and Lexington are more than I could ever had dreamed of. Un-fucking-believable still, that they’re my family.” “You deserve that, Maddox,” Harper sobbed into his chest. “Thank you Harper,” he wiped away her tears and lifted her head. “When we met, I was all over the place. Scared as hell, elated, devastated, and ecstatic all at the same time. My guard was up; I was waiting for the bomb to drop. My family, and yours, were like the light that people describe before they die. Like them, I was brought back from death. When I’m with you, Harper, it’s hard to believe that I truly exist on this planet. I wonder if I walked into the light and it’s you standing at the end of that tunnel accepting me, every fucking time, just like you have from the first time we met. When I try to stop it, the
feeling --knowing I need you to have everything you deserve. A need that’s so intense, I would give the air I breathe to make sure you had it, doubting I could give it to you, I burned. It’s my hell, worse than the first fifteen years of my life. You Harper Abraham, are my own personal heaven. I know no other way to describe it. You are what I fought against needing, and you are what I will fight against losing until the day I die. I’ll never push you away, and I’ll never let go again. I fucking exist for you.” Maddox closed his eyes tightly. “Our first date or dates. The Prom, the Garden, I’ve never felt more connected to another human being, ever. When I came here, I had huge plans that would have blown them completely out of the water. So none of this is about the life we created that is growing inside of you. You are done thinking that. You’re done feeling guilty that I didn’t know. I love you even more now than when I came here, you would suffer doing this alone for me, Harper? You have no idea what that does to me.” Harper could tell he was fighting tears and that every word that fell from his lips was sincere. He didn’t hate her for the choices she had made, as he said he loved her even more. “Look at me, sweetness. Before I knew about this blessing,” he rubbed her belly, “I’d planned to sing you the song I wrote for you in front of those thousands of people. Jumping off that stage and you running into my arms. I planned to take you to dinner and then stay with you here until I had the answer I needed.” Maddox stood and sat her on the couch. “All of this before knowing of our child, Harper. I’ve loved you since I knew what love was. I’ve wanted you since I knew my desire was not something to be ashamed of. I need you more than the air I breathe because without you, I just don’t give a fuck, Harper. You are mine and I am yours always. We are each other’s forever. Harper Ann Abraham,” Maddox knelt and pulled a box out of his pants pocket and opened it, “Marry me?”
CHAPTER FOUR Exposed Maddox sat outside the World Health Organization’s headquarters as he had every day waiting for Harper to get out of work. He’d bought a new SUV on the phone with an Audi salesperson while she slept the night she accepted his proposal. She slept like an angel after they made love the rest of the day. He picked her up from work in it as a surprise. This is yours and the babies, look in the back. She looked back and saw an infant seat and laughed. He loved how excited she got every time he did something for her. He especially liked the gift she gave him in return all the way home as he drove gripping the wheel so tightly his hands hurt. The future Mrs. Hines was born of privilege, yet so completely grateful for everything he did. He smiled thinking about the past three weeks and what his life had become. He loved that girl more and more each day and he loved that she seemed to feel exactly the same. Harper had moved into his place. It was of course a little disagreement but he had won. If our family comes to visit Harper, we need this place. She agreed and her first day back at work he packed and moved everything she owned back into what was his and now is their apartment. They had argued over opening the envelope and decided that they would do so at Christmas when they both told London. Harper’s idea and it made Maddox smile still thinking of how perfect their lives would be. Maddox also asked if she would mind allowing him to ask her father’s permission to marry her before they announced it. She told him that it didn’t matter to her, and he explained to her that it did matter to him; now more than ever. She didn’t wear the ring to work, both feared Blake would tell Collin before they could. Maddox got out of the SUV when Harper walked out in the bright winter sun. She pulled her sunglasses down and looked around until she spotted him. He had been parking away from the building so that her co-workers didn’t see him. Another disagreement between them…that she won. It was Friday and she would be out of work for two weeks. When she came back she would be wearing his ring and the whole world could know. “You parked in a different place today,” she smiled nervously. He picked her up and kissed her, “Yeah, I hope that doesn’t upset you, but I want everyone to know, Harper.” She smiled, “We’ve got to go get our stuff packed for our trip.” She noticed his smile was not the bright sunshine she had grown accustom to when he got in the car, “Maddox, I’m not upset. I want everyone to know, too. By the way,” Harper cleared her throat and held out her left hand. He smiled as he reached in the console and grabbed the ring box. It had been the same every day she got out of work, “Harper Abraham, will you marry me?” Harper laughed, “Yes, of course.” Maddox slid the ring on her finger and smiled. He leaned over and kissed her. “I love you,” he groaned into her mouth. “It’s a good thing you’ll be able to sleep on the plane because I’m going to have you all night.” “Perfect,” Harper’s hand slid from his knee up his leg. “Easy sweetness, Thumper may just jump out of his cage and …” There was a knock on the window and Harper jumped.
Her office mate Serena was standing outside the SUV with her mouth gapping. Harper rolled down the window and smiled, “Hello.” “Is that?” Serena was a beautiful girl, petite with dark hair and brown eyes. Harper laughed, “Maddox, this is Serena. Serena this is Maddox.” “Hines?” Serena’s voice squeaked. “Very nice to meet you, Serena,” Maddox gave an award winning smile and stuck out his hand to shake hers. “Oh. My. God,” Serena shook his hand, “Harper, are you the same girl from the video in…” “Yes she was, my one and only,” Maddox grabbed Harper’s hand, “Love.” “Unbelievable. I can’t believe you’ve never told me about him. You let me go on and on about our boss and …I’m so embarrassed now. Of course you don’t see how incredibly sexy Blake is, when you have Maddox fucking Hines!” Serena laughed. “She has me, alright,” Maddox forced a smile. “Oh my…okay it’s a secret then, Harper, I promise I can keep a secret, I am so…” “Serena, do you have a car?” Maddox asked. “No I walk. It’s not very…” “Get in we’ll give you a ride,” Maddox smiled. “Really?” Serena asked. “It’s freezing out Serena, we would be glad to give you a ride,” Harper smiled. Serena jumped in and looked at the car seat, “I didn’t just see that.” Maddox laughed and Harper sat back in the seat and covered her eyes, “Or that, wow Harper!” Harper gave Maddox a confused look, “The ring, Sweetness.” He took her hand and kissed it. “Oh boy,” Harper groaned. “I won’t tell anyone,” Serena clapped, “My office mate is engaged to and knocked up by Maddox fucking Hines.” “Serena, that’s twice,” Maddox tried to keep a straight face. She looked confused, “I’m pretty sure my middle name is not fucking.” Serena covered her mouth and Harper held back as long as she could and then burst out laughing and so did Maddox. “Wow this is unreal, your father is…” “Brody fucking Hines,” Maddox laughed. “If you only knew the …I’m going to stop while I’m ahead. Harper –wow--- just WOW!” “Pretty amazing, isn’t he?” Harper smiled back at her. “He’s pretty damn lucky,” Maddox pulled her hand to his chest, “So fucking lucky.” Maddox kissed her again, “Where to, Miss Serena?” Serena laughed, “I’m good here.” Maddox chuckled and glanced at Harper. “Take the next right, then the fourth left,” Serena laughed. “We’ll chat when I get back from the holiday, top secret got it?” “Of course Harper, you have a great holiday Maddox fucking Hines,” Serena hopped out of the SUV. “Funny, right?” Maddox laughed. “Did you do that on purpose?” “What on purpose, Harper?” “Offer her a ride, so she would see the car seat?” Maddox looked at Harper briefly and then away. “You did!” “Are we going to argue, Sweetness?”
“Are you going to answer? I mean you parked almost in front of the door and then you offer her a ride.” “Yes.” “Yes what?” “Yes it was on purpose, Harper.” “Why?” “I’m sick of hiding. I want to pick you up from work and not hide behind a fucking tree. I want to send you flowers. I want to bring you lunch. I want people to know you’re mine.” Harper didn’t say anything as they silently drove towards the apartment. He got out and opened the door for her. “Thank you,” Harper said as he held his hand out for her to hold as she got out onto the icy parking lot. They rode up in the elevator quietly holding hands. Maddox let out a slow deep breath as they exited. He unlocked the door to the apartment and held it open. She walked in and smiled as she looked around the room. “You did this?” “I did,” he dropped the keys into the bowl sitting on the entry table, kissed her head and walked past her to lite candles on the coffee table as she took in the room. He had flowers everywhere and music playing, a picnic blanket on the ground and an ice bucket chilling a bottle of sparkling cider. “Why?” she asked following him into the kitchen. “Why what Harper?” Maddox asked as he took the chicken parmesan out of the oven. “What made you do this?” Maddox heard nervousness in her voice and turned around, “I made us dinner, Harper. I’ve done that a lot lately. The other stuff, well it’s our last night alone for a while and, I was trying to be romantic… I guess.” He scratched his head and leaned back against the counter. Harper scowled at him and looked away. “Look, I’m sorry about your friend. I’m not sorry, I want the entire fucking universe to know about us. We’re not kids, we’re in love. The whole birds chirping, head spinning, heart beating faster, flowers, and indoor picnic kind of love. So, it may have been juvenile but…” “You’re coming back with me right?” Harper’s voice cracked and he stood up straight and walked towards her. “What?” He was shocked. “Harper, don’t cry. Please…why are you asking if I’m coming back with you? Of course I’m coming back with you. This is where we live at least until March; when you finish here. Then we have a month until the baby is born and a lot of stuff to figure out, but yes -- I am coming back with you.” “I can’t lose you again,” Harper shook. “Harper, I’ve asked you to marry me every day since I proposed. I don’t understand…” “All this, is a lot like that first night and you so easily walked away and…” “Hold up,” he smiled bending and wiping her tears away as he looked in her eyes, “We have to do better than this, Sweetness. I know you’re emotional now, but…” “When you get like that, like what you pulled today…” “What I pulled today Harper, is going to continue happening. As soon as your parents know about this, we are getting married I’m going to put it up in lights.” “Maddox, it was like you were marking me. Like you were trying to prove a point, like it didn’t matter that we’d discussed and agreed upon, waiting until our families knew.” “I think you’re hungry, go sit I’ll bring…” “I think you’re avoiding, Maddox.” He put the food on the plate without saying a word and carried it over to the picnic blanket and set it
down. Are you coming?” “Are you going to talk to me?” “Sure, after you sit,” Maddox looked at her with no emotion on his face. “You’re mad,” Harper whispered as she sat down. “I am a little. Look I’m probably going to act like an ass sometimes, Harper. I’m going to hold your hand in public, I’m going to kiss you, I’m going to wear a stupid ass grin on my face, and if anyone looks at you wrong it is possible, that I may lose it. You make me stupid happy, and stupid possessive, and stupid…” “Stop, just stop,” Harper climbed on his lap and hugged him, “I was just remembering what happened at the Cape, and in New York, and how you were so damn positive and then the next day…” “We walked to breakfast and on our way back I said I wanted to take you back to my room and stay like that forever and you laughed and said ‘That’s not going to happen, but I like the way you think’. That…” “Maddox, we were joking,” Harper sat up and looked at his eyes, he looked away and didn’t say anything, “Maddox you …you got really weird after that.” “I was very serious, Harper,” he lifted her hand and looked at her ring, “I’ve had this for a long time.” “But then everything happened with Jazz and…” “Harper, everything happens for a reason. Let’s not go back to that alright?” “You were going to ask me to marry you?” “I was,” Maddox looked into her eyes. “But …” “No, let’s not do this,” Maddox looked at her and shook his head no. “Would you have chosen me that day, and not…” “I’ve known forever that I wanted, no-- needed you to be my always. But I …Do we have to do this?” “I hurt you that day?” “I was kind of hurt, yeah,” Maddox shook his head. “You know I had no idea right?” “I do now, but at the time no. I told the press you were my wife remember? I planned on making it so.” “But I was taking an internship, and…” “I was touring. I would have spent the summer with you and followed you here or wherever you went. My schedule can be very flexible, you know.” “But then you just gave up.” “I had things to deal with. I needed to figure out what to do to make you feel the same as I did. I doubted how you felt after our walk. Then the Jazz thing… I couldn’t walk away from helping her, knowing you didn’t feel the same way I did for you. At the hotel, you made a comment that it was easy-just step back and say goodbye, and then, New Jersey…” “Our baby was conceived,” Harper lifted his chin. “When I was fucked up and you came after me.” “And then …” “Do we need to talk about all this? Can we move past all the shit and just be stupid, happy, and Twitterpated? “Yes,” Harper smiled and kissed him, “And if I ever hurt you… please say something to me Maddox. You are my …” “I’m yours and you’re mine.” Maddox leaned back and grabbed two wine glasses and filled them with sparkling cider and handed her one. “To us.” “And to stupid, happy, Twitterpation.” “Oh… I like that,” Maddox smiled.
“Me too,” Harper kissed him and he held her tightly. “I’ve been thinking about drinking this out of your belly button all day,” Maddox swirled the glass and nipped her earlobe. “Oh yeah?” “Definitely,” Maddox leaned over and pulled her legs behind him. He leaned forward kissing her and holding her back until her head was on the floor. Maddox slowly poured the cold liquid from his glass into her belly button and she shivered. “Cold, Sweetness?” “Yes,” she whimpered as he licked her belly. “I wonder if we can keep it right there and see if we can make it boil,” his eyes swept down her body and he licked his lips “Stay still, sweetness.” He pulled her skirt down slowly and then her underwear. Harper watched his jaw tighten as he ran his finger down the front of her and she quivered when he licked his lips again. He looked up at her, his eyes ablaze, “Don’t you move.” He pushed his finger slowly into her and she moaned, “That feel good, Sweetness?” His thumb grazed her clit. Her hips thrust up slightly, “Should I tie you up?” Her eyes widened and she bit her lip as he slid another finger into her. “Would you like that?” She shook her head no, “That’s not what your eyes are saying or your hot little pussy is telling me. So fucking wet, Harper.” Maddox pulled his fingers out and she groaned. He lifted his fingers to his mouth and sucked them slowly. “You taste so fucking good, sweetness.” Maddox watched her knees start to pull together and he dipped his head down and licked her belly button deeply and harshly, “Please.” Harper whimpered. “Please what, sweetness?” he licked again. “Maddox, please.” “Tell me what you want, Harper.” “You,” her hips pushed up against him. “What do you want from me?” Harper squinted her eyes, frustrated and desperately wanting him. “Do you want me to lick that sweet little pussy, Harper?” She shook her head yes as his tongue traced between her hip bones, “Say it Harper.” “I want you to lick me,” Harper whimpered. “Where sweetness?” His nose ran across her and she moaned loudly. “Lick my pussy, Maddox.” “I’m going to lick it and then fuck you with my tongue until you come over and over again.” Maddox’s tongue plunged deep inside her, and she grabbed his hair, “So good, sweetness.” His tongue pushed in again, he pushed against her g spot and she fell apart. He grabbed her hips and held her against his mouth. He licked harshly and sucked on her clit until she screamed again and again. When she was no longer pulling away he pulled his pants off and sat on his knees and pulled her onto him. “Fuck,” he hissed as he slid into her, “Feel how wet you are, my cock is sliding into your wet little pussy, Harper.” He swiveled his hips and pushed further, she moaned. “So fucking wet, so tight, and mine.” He thrust deeper into her and she dug her nails into his back, “Oh God, Maddox!” “That’s right Sweetness, come for me again. Come riding me,” he lifted her up and pushed into her over and over again.
Her body was slamming against his until she screamed out and he came with her. He held her tightly against him, both panting as they tried to catch their breath. “Damn, I love you,” Maddox sat back and looked into her eyes. Harper smiled and kissed him. “Taste good huh?” Maddox kissed her and ran his tongue across hers. Harper laughed and sat back. “I swear to you I need my tongue in you like you need air in your lungs,” the muscles in his jaw twitched. “Orally fixated,” Harper bit her lower lip. “Hell yeah,” Maddox kissed her and laughed. Harper was deep in thought and he smiled at her. “I’m going to breast feed.” His hand immediately went up her shirt and he rolled her nipple between his fingers, “Me too.” Maddox lifted her shirt and sucked on her nipple, “Have I mentioned lately how much I love your tits?” Harper smiled and giggled. “Seriously, Harper, look at these things,” Maddox cupped her breasts and gently kneaded them, “Works of art.” Harper covered her face and laughed.
Harper woke to gentle kisses on her neck, “Good morning, Sweetness.” “Morning,” she smiled and hugged him tighter pulling him against her. “We need to leave in about an hour,” Maddox kissed her lips. “WHAT?” Harper pushed him up, “I have to pack! I didn’t get a chance to last night.” Maddox chuckled, “Done, relax. There are two things that we must do first.” He kissed down her throat and licked across her breast. “Shower and fuck.” Harper looked at him, “So crude.” Maddox raised his eyebrow and tilted his head as his hand traveled down and rubbed between her legs, “But you like it, so wet…” Harper smiled, “How about fuck and then shower?” “That’s more like it,” Maddox smiled and kissed her.
Harper sat on the plane holding Maddox’s hand tightly. “Are you alright?” “Yes… I just don’t like to fly in these big planes,” Harper closed her eyes and sat back. Maddox chuckled and Harper sat up and looked at him, “What?” “Princess with a private plane,” Maddox whispered. She smiled and rolled her eyes, “How do you remember that? It was so long ago.” “I remember everything that has ever happened between us, I remember the swim suit you wore as you strutted around in front of me…” “When I taught you to swim? You do not,” Harper laughed. “Oh yes I do, blue tankini that matched your eyes and the sea. I assume you chose it because it covered a lot. That same night you and I went swimming after everyone was asleep, well let’s just say I saw
everything underneath those white panties and bra…” “Yeah, so did your poor father,” Harper laughed. “And Emma,” Maddox laughed, “He was so embarrassed, which was very funny. The time we went to the Cape, well I remember that suit was a deep purple and much smaller.” “You’re naughty,” Harper looked into his sparkling eyes. “I could control it just fine then, but now is a completely different story.” “And why is that?” Harper smirked. Maddox leaned towards her and whispered in her ear, “Your tits have been in my mouth,” he licked her earlobe, “You sweet pink pussy, all over my face,” he growled and nipped her ear, “My cock has been inside that tight little…” “Would you care for a drink?” The flight attendant interrupted. Maddox smiled, “Two waters?” Harper’s face was red and she nodded and looked down. The flight attendant left, and Maddox nodded towards the window and Harper looked out, “We’re in the sky?!” “Yes,” he smirked. “You were talking all—dirty, to draw my attention from…” “Yes, and imagine what the delivery room will be like.” Harper gasped and then laughed out loud, “You wouldn’t.” “Oh yes I would. For you of course,” he laughed. “All for you. You should sleep, Harper.” “We’ll land soon,” Harper yawned. “I know. Surge will be picking us up from the airport.” “Not your parents?” “No, I thought about it but well a little more time alone to chat once we are in England sounded like a good idea.” “About what?” Maddox saw panic in her eyes. “Harper, you need to stop that now. We are going to be fine. If you keep acting like the bottom is going to fall out from under us, I’m going to spank yours.” “Well, then what do we have to talk about, Maddox?” he saw her eyes begin to fill with tears. “When we get to Liverpool I’ll have to talk to a few people, you know this right?” “I will be with you, you know this right?” “Not if it’s unsafe,” Maddox looked uneasy and then he smiled, “You’re my beautiful future wife are just as possessive as I am. The difference is... I like it.” “You like it?” “I like it a lot.” Harper smiled nervously and then the plane touched down. He smiled back at her, “We’re here.” “Yay,” she looked out the window. “Now let’s see who bombards us when we get off the plane.” “Your fans?” “Who knows,” Maddox laughed as he stood and grabbed the bags from the overhead compartment. He held his hand out and pulled Harper into him and kissed her, “I got you.” He pulled a knit cap out of his carry-on and pulled it down over his head and then pulled a Yankees cap over her head. Harper smiled, “You like baseball?” “I like the Yankees.” He handed her sunglasses and held her wool coat out for her to put her arms in. He turned her around and kissed her nose, “Perfect let’s go.”
“Hey-- we may have a problem.” “What is it? Are you alright?” “My Dad is going to be upset with you,” Harper gave him a dramatic nervous look. “Why?” “He’s a Sox fan,” Harper gasped. Maddox laughed, “Well, we’ll have to agree to disagree.” “Choose your battles,” Harper smiled as he pulled her behind him.
Walking through the security check, Maddox spotted Surge and T; he smiled and pulled Harper tightly against him. He looked down at her, she looked incredibly nervous. He held her tighter and she squeezed his hand. People everywhere noticed Maddox and took pictures as they walked down the corridor. The way she looked up at him made his heart melt. Harper was incredible, strong headed, and took on every challenge she ever encountered with an attitude that nothing would stop her. He always felt she was stronger than he was, and in some instances she may be. He loved that Harper that was full of piss and vinegar. The one who loved deeply and would stand her ground to do what she felt was right and fight for those she cared about. Over the past few weeks he had begun to see her differently. He knew she was beautiful, kind, and caring. But he learned that she hid her insecurities well. The girl he fell head up his ass in love with was no longer a girl, she was a woman. Each night before work she carefully pressed her clothes and made her lunch. Maddox watched her dress each day, looking cautiously at herself in the mirror trying to get a glimpse of what the outside world would see. Her work attire was very conservative. Pant suits and dresses which normally were covered by a sharply tailored suit coat. Her hair was carefully placed in a bun or pinned back at the sides. She wore very little makeup and her heels were never high. She did not pose or smile at herself like he watched other woman do when they looked at themselves. “You alright?” she whispered as they approached Surge. “Do you know how perfect you are?” he looked at her in wonder. Harper blushed and looked away, “Thanks.” He stopped abruptly jerking her back slightly. “Maddox?” “I love you, you are without a doubt the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, Harper.” He took her face gently between his hands, and kissed her. She closed her eyes and smiled sweetly at him when he pulled away. He rubbed his nose across hers gently and kissed her again. Harper smiled a smile that showed concern and insecurity. “Don’t do that, Sweetness,” he whispered and kissed her cheek, “I told you I’ve got you. And just so you know, I’ll never let go.” Harper blinked rapidly and then aware of her surroundings she fought not to cry, “There’s a lot of people here, Maddox.” “I don’t care,” he smiled, kissed her head and they walked out of the airport.
CHAPTER FIVE Talk To Me They sat in the car and Maddox noticed that Harper was looking down and was very quiet. He rubbed his thumb back and forth across her knuckles lifted her hand and kissed it. She looked up and gave him a quick smile before sitting back against the black leather seat. He watched her head relax against the seat and then her hand rubbed over her belly keeping time with his thumb across her knuckles. Maddox gave her a minute to think before he could not take it anymore, “Talk to me.” Harper looked up at him curiously, “What shall we discuss?” She gave him a quick smile. “Whatever it is that is bothering you,” his eyes held hers. She wanted to look away but she couldn’t, “It’s nothing.” He raised his eyebrow and held her stare, “Come on Harper, don’t do that.” “I’m tired.” “And?” She smiled and then her lip quivered and tears pricked the back of her eyes. Maddox pulled her onto his lap and held her head to his chest as she cried. He rubbed her back and kissed her head over and over again, “Emotional and tired?” “Yes, I think so,” she choked out. Maddox reached in his pocket and pulled out the box. He opened it and took out the ring, “Marry me?” Harper kissed him and held his face in her hands tightly and shook her head yes. He smiled and slipped the ring on her finger and kissed it and then her soft wet lips. “We have an hour before we get to the house, sleep please, Sweetness. I promise you everything’s going to be okay.” While Harper slept on his lap Maddox rubbed her little belly. He thought about ways to make her more secure with their relationship, their love. He couldn’t bear to see her upset, he had done that to her plenty over the past few years. He’d finally accepted what his heart had told him since he was fifteen years old. He loved her more than words or a song could express, and he would stop at nothing to make her believe him. Maddox knew she felt the same way about him, when she wasn’t worried about what everyone around her thought or felt. When she was not worrying about the outside world. He secretly wished he could spend every second of the day with just her and soon just her and their child. He closed his eyes thinking about how truly selfish that was. This need deep inside to keep her just to himself… his. It reminded him of the first fifteen years of his life, and the weeks… probably months if he added up the time by days, that he had spent locked in the closet and alone. Hungry, tired, scared, and in pain. He would never do such a thing to anyone and no one who cared to take their next breath would ever do that to someone he loved. Maddox looked down at his sleeping Harper, curled up on his lap with her hands locked behind his neck and he took a deep breath. He closed his eyes trying to bring himself back to the apartment, a place he had lived for only a few short weeks but had never felt more alive. He finally slept for more than a few hours at night, his sedative, Harper, in his arms. She was his sea, his calm, his breath, his everything. Every night he watched her eyes flutter as she tried to stay awake, mentally exhausted from work and physically exhausted from the hours they spent every night pleasing each other. He loved when he woke before her and could watch her sleep. But when he slept longer and was either treated with wake up kisses, or the ability to watch through the open door as she got ready for her day, those moments when he
could see Harper the way she thought others should see her, melted his heart. It made him smile from the inside out knowing that he was indeed still the person she chose, like she had many years ago, to know the real her. Yet it made him sad that she seemed insecure in who she was to everyone else around her. Even he no longer felt that way about himself. They watched endless hours of ridiculous movies that made her laugh out loud and he could not help but do the same in response. He read to her, because she thought, Damn, it’s hot to hear him read nineteenth century English literature. It was when they were together, just the two of them, that both he and Harper felt relaxed and happy. They took comfort in each other. He remembered the first week she lived in his place officially after they had made love, she asked what time it was and he told her. It only took him the first weeks to realize if it were before seven at night she dressed in clothing and if it was after she would beam and throw on a tank top and cotton pajama pants and either a sweater or one of his sweatshirts, which he loved. On the weekends, they didn’t spend time at clubs or at the movies, they stayed at home. Snuggled up, wrapped in each other under blankets. She decided that she needed to get back into working out sot they would go to the gym in the building and she would walk as he ran on the treadmill. When he stopped and lifted weights she would walk at a leisurely pace and watch him. It was when he would break a sweat her eyes would get that dopey, dewy appearance and she would lick and bite her lips a lot. The gym trips never lasted long, because he would start to get hard and they would have to leave. They barely made it off of the elevator before they were tearing each other’s clothes off and they were in the shower washing and touching each other until he couldn’t handle the whimpers coming from her. They decided they could get more of a workout in the shower than at the gym. If it were warm out, they’d go walk on the trail around the lake, and end up either in the trees or standing in front of the water silently holding each other. He watched as they neared the gate to the Hines estate and kissed her head gently, “We are here, Sweetness.” Her eyes blinked and she yawned into his chest and looked up, “Sorry.” He smiled adoringly, “For what?” “Falling asleep on you. It must have been uncomfortable,” she started to move. “There’s nothing more comfortable than this,” he kissed her forehead as the car came to a stop in front of the house, “But now be prepared for London, she’s going to be all over you.” Harper laughed and then hugged him tightly, “It sounds great.” Maddox took her hand as she stepped out of the car and looked around, “No welcome committee… London is slipping.” Harper took a step towards the door and Maddox grabbed her hand and stuck her ring finger in his mouth and sucked gently. Her eyes rolled slightly and she held her breath as she watched him. He slowly pulled her finger out and kissed it smiling, revealing the ring. Harper laughed, “Oops.” Maddox grabbed her face and rubbed the ring across her lower lip and then stepped back and took it out of his mouth, “Soon Sweetness, very, very soon.” The front door flew open, “Are you guys going to play kissy face all day or are you coming in?” London dove towards Harper. Maddox grabbed London and hugged her tightly twirling her around, “Me first.” London laughed loudly as he tickled her and tried to escape yelling, “Let me at her.” Harper laughed and grabbed her face and kissed her. “We have a big…well a few big surprises for you inside, Harper,” London grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. “Merry Christmas!” Harper looked around the room at her parents, brothers, grandparents, and
Maddox’s entire family as well. She smiled and looked at Maddox, “Your eyes are sparkling, Harper.” “Did you know?” “Yeah,” he kissed her head and Tessa hugged her and Maddox smiled, “Harper, I need some time with your Dad before we make the announcement alright?” Tessa hugged Maddox, “Good to see you.” “You as well.” Maddox hugged Brody and Emma, “Where is Lexi?” “She’s napping,” Emma looked sadly at Brody. “She has a fever,” Brody smiled gently at Emma, “She’s going to be just fine, Love.” When Maddox got done with Caroline and Henry he looked at Harper. He saw her brother’s looking at him and then glanced at Collin who had his arm protectively around Harper’s shoulder. He took a deep breath and forced a smile on his face. “Hello CJ, Matthew, and Collin,” he looked them each in the eye as he spoke. His voice didn’t waver nor did his demeanor, he was strong and confident as he stuck out his hand to shake theirs. He stepped back and looked at Harper briefly and she was holding back a smirk. His eyes widened and she smirked, she bit her lip and winked causing him to chuckle. He looked away from her very slowly and drew his attention to Collin, “I was wondering if I could have a moment alone with you?” Collin gave a quick nod and followed Maddox into the kitchen. “Would you like to have a seat?” Maddox pointed to the table and Collin sat, “Would you like a drink?” “No I’m all set,” Collin crossed his arms and sat back in the chair. “Alright then,” Maddox blew out a slow breath. He sat down, scowled at the ground and then looked up. “I love your daughter and I’m absolutely positive that I have loved her since the first time I saw her. I will never hurt her again; I couldn’t -- I wouldn’t survive being without her.” Maddox closed his eyes and took a deep breath and looked up at him, “I would like your permission—blessing to marry Harper.” Collin’s expression was unchanged, he stared into Maddox’s eyes for a full minute before he spoke. “Will you ask her if I say no?” “Yes, I just felt like this was…” “Maddox, she is one of the four people in this word that mean more to me than my next breath,” Collin glared into his eyes and Maddox chuckled. “I feel the same. I can assure you that…” Matthew walked into the room and Maddox stopped talking, “Please don’t tell me you are going to tell him yes!” “Matthew that’s…” “He’s just doing this because she’s pregnant,” he whispered. Maddox’s head snapped towards him, “How do you know that?” Collin looked down and Matthew scowled at Maddox and did not reply. Maddox stood up, “I’m going to ask you this one more time. How did you…” He stopped when he saw Matthew looking at Collin as if to ask for help. “You knew…” Maddox whispered harshly. “Let’s take this outside,” Collin stood and walked out the back door into the cold winter’s air on the large brick patio. Maddox looked at him waiting impatiently for an answer. “Blake told you didn’t he?!” Collin looked at him and started to answer and Maddox interrupted him.
“How long have you known?” “That’s none of your damn business,” Matthew snapped at Maddox. “I beg to differ, MY child is MY business,” Maddox sneered. “You knew your sister was pregnant and didn’t go to her, or try to help her figure out…” “Blake was there. I knew HE could take care of it,” Matthew glared at him. “BLAKE is not the baby’s father. BLAKE is not Harper’s family! Do you have any idea how hurt she’d be if…” “Fuck you! How hurt she would be! I know exactly what MY SISTER has gone through with your shit!” Collin held up his hand and they both stopped, “Enough!” “Did you know!?” Maddox asked him. Collin did not answer. “Un-fucking believable!” Maddox threw his hands in the air, “She went through months of…” “Crying over you! Because you have a problem keeping your dick in your pants!” “Now you listen here, if you weren’t her brother you would be picking your bloodied ass up off the fucking bricks, Matthew!” “And you would have your hands full too, tough guy. I watched my sister fall apart before graduation because of you…” “I was fucking drugged and brought back here, young and fucking…” Maddox stopped and looked at Collin, “Does your wife know you knew?” “No she doesn’t,” Collin looked at him, “Harper had been killing herself inside and rebelling, I knew she would be safe and have Blake to watch over her.” “You’re kidding right, that fuck bought your daughter a vibrator in case she …” “He what?!” Collin snapped. Maddox’s hands fisted and he looked back and forth between Matthew and Collin and opened his mouth to say something and quickly closed it knowing he was going to say something he might regret. “Don’t sit there and judge us, Hines. While you were out fucking everything that moved…” “Let me tell you something, my dick has been inside of one person! One! Care to fucking guess who that is?” Maddox asked antagonistically and then growled loudly and walked away. Maddox stood looking into the woods trying his best to figure out how to hide this from her. He immediately felt guilty at the thought and then he got angry. So, so angry. Maddox looked over and Collin was standing next to him, “I was going to tell Tessa and then…” “How long did you know?” “Maddox, I only knew for two weeks. I’m not trying to give an excuse here, but I knew Tessa would go to her and insist she tell you.” “You don’t think it was my fu…” “Harper didn’t want you to know. She was doing fine and you were a fucking mess Maddox. I knew at some point you would need to know and I knew she was safe and had a friend.” Maddox stood and glared into the woods, avoiding eye contact. “I’d really like to refocus this conversation, Maddox. Do you want to marry my daughter because she’s pregnant?” Maddox’s head whipped around and he faced Collin, “I want to marry Harper because I love her, because I always have, and because I know she feels the same. I want to marry Harper because we’ve wasted too much time based on my insecurities and desire for her to have more than I thought I could give her. I want to marry your daughter, Collin, because no matter how much I’ve tried to stop feeling this way, I need her even more than I need air in my lungs. I need to make sure she’s safe, I need to make sure she’s happy, and I need to make sure she knows that I’ll love her now, as much as I did the first time I saw her
and will love her, until long after I am not of this earth.” Collin looked at him, “When?” “Funny you should ask,” Maddox shook his head.
CHAPTER SIX Past The Storm Harper watched out the kitchen window at Maddox and Collin. She saw Matthew pacing back and forth and knew he was angry. Of course he would be… he was her brother. Oh just wait until CJ hears the news, she thought as she looked back at Maddox. She watched Maddox as he stood confidently, and her father doing the same. They didn’t look angry anymore, but the conversation certainly looked deep. Finally Maddox stuck out his hand offering it to Collin and Collin took it. They shook hands and Harper couldn’t stop smiling. She saw Collin put his arm over Maddox’s shoulder and smile at him. Her heart melted. She would have married Maddox Hines without agreement from her father, but it made it even more real. It made her suddenly feel like it was not just her and Maddox who believed in their love, but her father as well. Harper was overcome with emotion and she tried taking deep breaths to hold back the approaching tears. She needed to be alone, just for a moment. She looked towards the doorway that led to the family room where everyone was and then towards the back patio door and saw them approaching quickly. She didn’t want her Dad to see her crying, he would worry he made the wrong decision, and if Maddox saw her, he’d worry that she didn’t want her Dad to say yes. They were coming and she had no time to hide. She purposely dropped the glass on the floor and it smashed as Maddox, Collin, and Matthew all walked in the door. She let the tears flow and stood looking down. Maddox quickly grabbed a broom and dust pan, “Hey, don’t cry. It’s no big deal, Harper.” Collin walked over and hugged her as Maddox dumped the glass into the basket, “Harper, it’s just a glass.” Collin held her tighter as the room filled with people. She looked up and closed her eyes. “Did you get hurt, Harper?” Maddox reached between her and Collin and wiped her face. “No,” she whispered and looked up at him. “Okay, then.” Maddox lifted her and walked her to the doorway and set her down. Harper held his elbows and looked up at him and whispered, “I’m really tired.” “Alright give me a minute and I will…” “Harper, we have a room ready for you upstairs. Let me show you,” London grabbed her hand. Maddox smiled at Harper, “She is tired though, right?” “I know, I know, I know,” London dragged Harper behind her. Maddox looked around the very quiet room and smiled, “London has got it all under control.” Everyone laughed and he helped clean up the floor.
Maddox walked up the stairs an hour later and saw Tessa walking quietly out of the room. The room he had woken up in the day after his very first concert and found Harper had left. He stood silently as he watched Tessa carefully shut the door behind her. “Is she asleep?” Maddox whispered. “Yes. Has she been feeling alright?” Tessa looked very concerned. “I asked her that question every day for a week and she finally rolled her eyes, put her hands on her
hips and said, ‘Do you want me to be sick?’ I of course, don’t but her point was taken and I didn’t ask again,” Maddox smiled and Tessa giggled. “I told you she was full of it.” “Full of life and love. You did an amazing job raising her Tessa, thank you,” Maddox was following her down the hallway when Tessa stopped and turned around. Tessa looked at him and his eyes widened. She knew he was afraid he’d offended her and she knew this because it had taken forever to make Collin feel comfortable opening up to the people she loved when she wasn’t there to validate his worth. “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. My children are my life.” “I can tell, it’s the same with Emma, I can see it in her eyes. I also see it in Harper’s. She is going to be an amazing mother to our child, because you showed her how,” Maddox looked up and then back at Tessa. “I hope you know I’ll be a great father to our child as well. I’ve learned that from my father. There is nothing in this world as important as family.” “Maddox, I know you love her. I see it. I have also seen the way she has looked at you for years now. I watch you with London and Lexington and I’m sure you’ll be a good father. I’m just – Maddox will you continue to sing? Will you be away from her for months at a time? Will you…” “I’d like to have a discussion with my parents as well as you and Collin while Harper naps,” Maddox smiled, “That is, if London can be entertained. We have planned how to tell her, Harper wouldn’t be pleased if she found out, otherwise.” They walked into the family room and Maddox watched as Tessa whispered something to Matthew. Within minutes, he was dragging London outside in full snow gear to play. “Now good?” Tessa smiled. “Of course,” Maddox laughed.
Maddox sat at the dining room table with Brody, Emma, Tessa, and Collin. He took a deep breath and smiled, “I’ve had a few weeks to try to figure out what, besides Harper and all of you, is the most important to me in light of recent events. I also have more than myself to take into consideration now.” Maddox sat back and looked at Brody and quickly away, “I don’t want anyone to be disappointed…” “Maddox-- whatever it is son, I never would be,” Brody scowled, “Whatever you need I will help you make it happen.” “I do know that, and I appreciate it more than you know,” Maddox took a deep breath. “When I step back and think of what would make Harper happy in concern to our future, I don’t think staying with Burning Souls fits into it all. I love music, but it never was my dream. It has afforded me a lot. I own a home that’s paid for and have invested wisely over the past few years. I’ll continue collecting royalties on my music, and from what I can figure record sales will sky rocket once word hits that I am to become a father. You know, curiosity…,” Maddox smiled at Brody. “I do love it, but don’t wish for it to disrupt my family life. I also don’t want Harper to feel insecure or nervous ever about my lifestyle and its effect on our child.” “Maddox, you could join us, I would love for you to. It would be great,” Brody smiled. “I have considered that. Not full time, but as a guest if you would have me once in a while. Harper is going to be a Cornell graduate in just a few months. I’m very proud of the strength she showed by finishing her schooling while I was acting like – for lack of a better term, a piece of shit. I’ve considered going back to school. I love to learn and truly feel a need and desire to go back. I’ve applied to a few schools, just to see what my options are. I’ve heard back from two. Cornell is one, and the other is Harvard.” Maddox tried not to smile but he could not help himself, “Two totally different programs.
Literature and,” Maddox looked at Brody and Emma, “Psychology.” Emma smiled and whispered softly, “You could help so many.” “There are several avenues I could travel in the field,” Maddox smiled at her. “Psychology is Cornell isn’t it?” Emma asked. “It is,” Maddox looked cautiously between her and Brody, “I’m waiting to hear back from…” “No, I can see it in your eyes son, do it. You’re young, you’re brilliant…” “I’ll discuss it with Harper. I applied before Thanksgiving and frankly, I forgot until yesterday. I’ll ask that I start wherever Harper and I decide, in the fall. I’ll play the few shows we have scheduled in February and then I will be done. That brings me to the next topic; my…Harper isn’t going to like what I need to do tomorrow, but it needs to be done. She made mention that whatever business I needed to conduct, she would be accompanying me. I need to talk to the band. I do not want her there when I do that. I know she’s going to be very upset about this and I am asking for your help in convincing her that…” “Convincing her what?” Maddox’s head snapped around when he heard Harper’s voice. “You were supposed to be sleeping,” Maddox stood up and walked towards her smiling. He kissed her head, “Feeling better?” “I was, but now I’m little concerned,” she looked around the room. “Oh no you don’t,” Maddox smiled and whispered “I love you, Sweetness.” She smiled and raised her eyebrow, “I’m going with you.” “I’m going to make sure you are safe,” Maddox held her face in his hands. “We’ll talk about it later alright?” Harper narrowed her eyes at Maddox as Caroline walked into the room with Lexington. “Maddox,” her voice cracked as she raised her little hand and rubbed her red eyes. “Hey Lexi, you are feeling better?” Maddox walked over and scooped her up and hugged her. Her bottom lip pushed out and she began to cry, “No.” “Okay, well I’m going to hold you until you do okay?” she shook her head yes, “Your throat dry?” she shook her head again, “Let’s go get you a drink.”
Maddox held Lexi until she was falling asleep at the dinner table. He stood up and walked out of the room. Harper watched him and smiled softly. When he was out of sight she looked at the ground and felt tears again stinging her eyes. She stood up quickly, “Please excuse me.” Harper walked quickly towards the bathroom her eyes fixed on the floor beneath her, “Sweetness?” Maddox grabbed her hand, “What’s going on with you today?” He pulled her in and hugged her tightly and she began to cry, “Emotional.” Maddox took her hand and pulled her into the bathroom, “Talk to me.” “I don’t know…earlier I was watching you and my father out the window.” “Always snooping,” Maddox joked and Harper tried to pull away and cried more, “Listen, I was joking and looking back I wouldn’t have had it any other way, Harper.” London walked into the hallway and she stopped quickly, “Maddox, you make her cry a lot. If you love her…do you love her?” Maddox looked at London’s shocked expression. She looked like a bell had gone off in her head, “You do love her!” “Madly,” Maddox smiled widely at her. “Wow does this mean…” “London, you and I need to talk,” Maddox gave her a look of warning and she stopped and then laughed.
Harper looked at her and smiled, “I kind of like him, too.” “Kind of, my brother is hot stuff, Harper. All the girls at school are like, OOOO your brother is gorgeous… could you hook us up? Seriously they are like twelve or thirteen, grow up…emotionally of course because obviously socially they are WAY too…” “Your brother is beautiful, London,” Harper stopped London’s rant and giggled. “And so are you,” London hugged her. “London, I would love you to help me with something. Do you think they would mind if we disappeared for a little bit?” Maddox pointed to the dining room. “Maybe Harper could keep them busy,” London smiled at Harper. “Sure, unless you need my help,” Harper looked at Maddox confused. Maddox winked at Harper, “We got this—huh, London?”
London walked into the dining room beaming, “Ladies and gentlemen, could you please join me in the living room?” “We have dessert first London, and…” Emma began. “Not a chance. Living room. Now.” London left quickly before she could get the lecture she knew her mother was ready to dish out and knowing they would follow. She heard Tessa laugh. “Tessa?” Emma tried not to laugh but smiled and shook her head. “You heard her. Living room. Now.” Tessa laughed and they all stood up to join London. London patted the spot next to her on the couch and Harper sat next to her, “Sooo do you really like Maddox?” Harper laughed, “Sooo yes… I really do.” “What do you like about him?” London looked past her towards the stairs. “He is very cute,” Harper laughed. “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. And?” “He makes me happy,” Harper said softly. London looked at her quickly, “Then why do you sound sad?” “Maybe because I secretly hope I can make him just half as happy as he makes me,” Harper whispered to her. “Oh, I think you do,” London laughed and hugged her tightly.
Maddox walked in with his guitar and Harper looked up. He was smiling and blushing a bit, he chuckled when he saw Harper’s checks turn pink. “London and I had a chat; it appears she thinks I would be a complete idiot if I went one more day without telling Harper how I truly feel about her. But what London doesn’t know is that Harper has been told every day for the past few weeks how much I want her in my life now and forever. I love you, Harper Abraham. I’m one hundred percent certain I have from the day I met you.” Maddox swallowed hard and looked at Harper, “Of course London also thinks I should sing to the woman I love, so I kind of threw something new together.” Maddox sat next to Harper and smiled shyly and began to play. My past was a storm, the rain, and thunder crashing down. The water rose, drowning me taking me deeper into the depths, doubting and faithless that what I felt was authenticity. One voice of hope one sweet kiss, dragged to the shores, sunlight peeking through blackened clouds, was it real or a dream,
out of harm's way an illusion or a certainty I fell and stumbled, broken down, hidden sorrow. The waters rose swallowing this soul again. Fighting the current, the pull, the torment, the agony. Towards the light the sweetness my spirit’s desire, in my heart and soul, I missed you my friend… No longer fearing the rising waters, from the storm. No longer feeling inadequate, doubting my capability, I am not alone, I have been carried by your love all this time. I am giving everything to you now, I am giving you my life, my heart, my love, Everything comes down to love, to hope, to faith. No longer what I am afraid of. When I look in your eyes, everything awake in my soul, no longer trying to forget, that I’m yours. I am not alone, I have been carried by your love all this time.
Maddox set down his guitar, “I love you with everything I am and everything I will become, knowing you’ll be with me forever,” he knelt in front of her and pulled the box out of his pocket, “Marry me, Harper Abraham, walk through this life with me forever.” Tears began to fall from Harper’s eyes and she shook her head yes and hugged him tightly. “Sweetness,” he whispered, “Wow, tears when you already knew…” “Not like that Maddox, I didn’t expect it like that in front of everyone, or like that. I think I love you even more and I didn’t think that was possible.” “I hope and pray each day you feel that way,” Maddox pulled back and held her face between his hands and kissed her lips lightly, “I love you.” Harper leaned forward and kissed him harder and grabbed his hair in her hands and her tongue traced his lower lip. “Sweetness, we aren’t alone,” Maddox pulled back and clenched his jaw. His eyes began to darken and she laughed, “I forgot.” Maddox stood up and pulled her up keeping her hand in his, “She said yes London, what do you think?” “I think that’s perfect!” Maddox and Harper hugged London and then looked around the room. Tessa and Emma were holding hands and crying; the grandmothers, Caroline and Maggie were smiling at them. Brody laughed and clapped his hands, “Well then, when do we do this?” Maddox and Harper laughed and Matthew walked over and shook Maddox’s hand and hugged Harper. Matthew gasped when he felt her stomach push against his and she laughed. “Well I think we need to ask you all to sit down again, we have something else we need to tell you,” Harper smiled at Maddox and he shook his head yes and smiled back at her. Harper looked around the room and then at London, “Maddox and I have another BIG surprise.” London smiled, “Bigger than that?” “Just as big, come here, London,” Harper took her hand and held it against her slightly rounded belly and as if on cue the baby kicked. London jumped back and squealed in surprise and then laughed out loud and put her hand back on Harper’s belly and felt the baby move again and smiled and laughed. “I thought you were just eating a lot of chocolate...” “London,” Emma gasped. “What, you know like you did when you and Daddy lived together, you…” Brody laughed out loud, “Alright, London.” “Well, just …she was sad, and I thought my brother was a gigantic jerk to her and…” “Wow, London, not just a normal sized jerk but a gigantic one?” Maddox laughed. “Well her belly is …” “Alright that’s enough,” Emma laughed and wiped tears from her eyes.
“Mommy I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just…well Daddio must be better than chocolate,” London smirked and laughter rolled through the air. “LONDON,” Emma gapped, “These are happy tears but if you keep it up you may drive me back to the chocolate, or wine.” Emma grabbed London and hugged her. She whispered in her ear, “Are you as happy as you look about this?” “More Mommy,” London hid her face in her hair and cried, “So much more.” Is she crying? Maddox mouthed to Emma and she shook her head yes. “Hey London, we have one more little surprise. This envelope has been sealed since we got it. How about you open it and tell us if we will have a boy or a girl?” London jumped up and wiped her face and snatched the envelope out of his hand. “We do this my way,” London raised both eyebrows at him. “That’s fine but how about you see what Tessa and Mom have to say about that,” Maddox chuckled at her. London’s jaw dropped and she smiled slyly at Maddox, “Perfect idea. Come on Tessa and Mom, the great-grandmas too,” London laughed loudly. Maddox looked at Harper who was looking down at her ring, “Penny for your thoughts?” Harper looked up at him, “This must have cost a whole lot of pennies.” “And that bothers you?” “It didn’t before, but I just look at my father and…” “Harper, that ring is a promise from me to you and from you to me. Please don’t feel bad about it, it will break my heart,” Maddox stuck out his bottom lip and purposely pouted. “You know I love it, Maddox, almost as much as I love you,” Harper smiled and kissed him, “What is taking them so long?” Maddox’s eyes widened, shocked by her abrupt switch in conversation, “In a hurry to find out? I’d like to remind you this was your idea.” Harper’s eyes narrowed and he smiled, “Textbook fucking crazy.” “Not funny,” Harper warned. “No?” “No.” She looked away and then back at him, “Fine a little. I can’t believe you remember all this stuff.” “It’s not stuff, Harper; it’s our story, our beginning of forever.” He looked different when he said things like that, innocent and vulnerable, which lasted two point two seconds before he kissed her lips and ran his tongue across her lips, “I want to taste you so bad right now.” “Maddox,” Harper whispered harshly as she looked around the room at their families. “So fucking bad,” Maddox’s eyes ran down her body slowly taking her in. He licked his lips and held his bottom lip between his teeth. Harper felt the air begin to leave the room, her breaths deeper as his eyes raked her body slowly moving from her ankles, stopping at her crotch, he licked his pink lips and moved up to her breasts. His nostrils flared slightly and he held his lip between his teeth and let out a slow deep silky groan. Harper was shocked at how her body was reacting. He was not even touching her and she was sure her panties were wet and her nipples grew very alert. She swallowed hard, “Stop please,” came out in a whimper and his eyes held hers. He shook his head slowly back and forth, “Never.” “Harper, Maddox, we have an …” London began. “London has an idea,” Emma interrupted. “And a fabulous one at that,” Tessa laughed.
Harper blinked and slowly turned her head away from Maddox. She smiled at London and cleared her throat, “What is this fabulous idea?” “Well Mom has become obsessed with this picture she saw online and Facebook stalked,” London giggled, “Thaty’s Cakes in Texas. Anyway the idea came from there, we should do a reveal. We can make a cake and fill it with Blue or Pink, and then you eat it and find out what it is, a boy or a girl. Can we do it please, Please, PLEASE?” Harper laughed as London jumped up and down, she looked at Maddox who was smiling at her, he nodded quickly, “Yes, Yes, and YES!!” “See Mom, they can wait too,” London smiled antagonistically at Emma. “Fine, but I really want to know so I can only imagine how they feel,” Emma let out a frustrated breath. “Tomorrow, Mom, okay, geesh relax,” London ran up and hugged Maddox, “I bet I know what it is.” “Oh, do tell, London,” Maddox chuckled as he smiled at her. “A BABY!” London laughed and everyone followed suit.
After London had finished bouncing off the walls everyone decided it was time for bed. London dragged Harper into her room and Emma woke Lexi to her give her a dose of medicine. Brody watched as Emma pulled Lexington’s hair away from her face and kissed her on the cheek, “She looks better.” “I hate seeing her sick,” Emma kissed her again. “I hate seeing you exhausted. I’m going to tuck you in, and then I’ll sleep in here tonight,” Brody took her hand and walked out of Lexington’s room. “No it’s alright, I can,” Emma yawned. “Em, you haven’t slept in two days and tomorrow is Christmas Eve and...” Emma watched as he struggled to come up with even more excuses in order to get her into their bed. It had been three days and she had been so busy preparing for the arrival of their guests and Lexington being sick that she had completely neglected her husband’s insatiable sexual needs. “You need something, Music Man?” She had thought she had caught him off guard, that he would laugh or scowl or something, but he didn’t. Brody cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrow, “I think we both do, Em.” The way he said her name caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand up and a chill flowed through her body. He picked her up and carried her into their room and sat her on the bed. Emma started to say something and he shook his head slowly no. He walked slowly to the door and shut and locked it. Brody turned and looked her up and down very slowly. He reached behind his back and pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the ground and walked into the closet. Emma watched him walk out with scarves in his hand and he smiled salaciously. Holy hell, Emma thought as his jaw tightened a bit. He threw the red silk scarves over his shoulder and unbuttoned his pants. She could see his erection through his pants as he pulled them down slightly and reached down and pulled his hard cock out and stroked himself slowly up and down. “Brody…” Emma whimpered. “Shh Em, I will take care of you,” Brody pushed his cock back in his pants and walked slowly up to her. “Lift your arms,” his voice was raspy and deep. Emma did as he asked and he removed her shirt and
then her bra. “Beautiful, fucking beautiful,” Brody dipped his head and sucked hard on her pebbled nipple and then moved to the next. His tongue traced the scar caused by the removal of the cancerous lump found several years ago. He kissed and traced it with his tongue again. He had mentioned several times how much he loved that part of her body. The scar that disgusted her, he adored. Had the cancer not been detected he would’ve lost her, and that was something he could never imagine facing. Her hands went to his dark thick hair and she held him tighter against her body. She loved his skin against hers. He pulled her hands away and pushed her back against the bed. “No, Em, I’m going to tie you up tonight and fuck you so hard when I finally finish you’ll miss my cock being inside of you. Three days will feel like a lifetime to you; wanting and needing me to be inside you, filling you completely,” she looked into his burning eyes, “Completely, Em.” Emma pushed her knees together hoping to slow the heat building inside. Emma knew her husband and her challenging him in the bedroom was not a good idea. He needed to feel in control and she needed to let him. Giving herself completely to him was never the wrong thing to do. When he was under stress or deeply concerned about things he needed to be wrapped in her, the woman he loved. She never went unsatisfied, even when she was wrapped up in silk, and it was always even more mind blowing each time. She was a little less inhibited and even more in awe of her husband, her music man. Brody pulled her up and removed her pants and underwear swiftly, he pushed her feet apart and turned her towards the bed bending her over it. He squeezed her ass lightly and pushed her feet apart with his. He pulled her hands behind her back and tied them together. “You are so lovely Em, such a feast for my eyes, my mouth, and my cock.” She heard his pants drop to the ground and felt him rub the tip of him up and down against her opening. She pushed back into him wanting more, “Patience Love.” Brody pulled her up and turned her around facing him. Her breaths were deep and fast. He kissed down her body, biting her nipples and moving down, stopping just above her crotch. “Brody,” she whimpered. “No Em,” Brody grabbed his pants and reached into his pocket pulling out the nipple clamps, “Been awhile hasn’t it?” Emma’s mouth went dry and her eyes widened as she shook her head yes quickly. He sucked her nipple hard and she moaned loudly, “Em, we have guests Love, you are going to have to try to keep quiet.” He clamped her left nipple as he sucked on her right and then placed the other clamp on it as well and she whimpered. He kissed down her body and lazily dragged his tongue across her opening, “Brody…please.” “Patience Love,” Brody reached into his pocket and pulled out two silver balls, “Remember these?” “Yes,” she panted softly. “Good,” Brody placed the balls into his mouth and sucked on them as he slid a finger inside her. “Ahh...” “Patience Love, I’m going to take my time savoring you,” Brody pulled his finger out and knelt before her. He raised her leg over his shoulder and licked her slowly and then slowly pushed the balls inside of her. He tugged on the attached string and she moaned loudly. “We are going to try something new and you’re going to forget any idea you may have that anything could ever be dirty or wrong when it comes to your body and my body coming together. You trust me, Em?” She shook her head yes.
“Good girl. Em,” he rewarded her with a kiss and a deep lick against her clit. She slouched against him as her body burned even more. “Turn around and bend over the bed, Love,” Emma looked at him curiously and Brody twirled his finger showing her what he meant. Emma laid face first on the bed clenching her muscles tightly holding the balls in place. “Do you trust me enough for this, Em?” Brody asked as he slid his finger between her cheeks brushing lightly across the outside of her ass. “Brody…” “Do. You. Trust me?” “Yes.” Brody used his feet to spread her legs further apart. He rubbed his cock between her legs and hit her clit, “So wet, Love.” Brody rubbed her clit and made his way to her ass. He rubbed his wet finger up and down and then rubbed her wet pussy again. He rubbed his cock from her clit to her ass over and over again. Emma was panting and whimpering, “Please, Brody, please.” “Where love, where do you want me?” “Everywhere,” she moaned. His hands grabbed her ass cheeks pulling them apart as he pushed his head against her, “So fucking tight Love, you need to relax. I won’t go any further than you can handle. I will take care of you.” Brody reached around and caressed her clit and kissed her neck lightly, “You feel so good everywhere, Em. Is this too much?” “Not yet.” She held her breath. He pushed so his head was inside her, “Every place I touch you feels so fucking good, Em. I am going to do the same for you.” He tugged at the string holding the balls that were deep inside her and brushed his thumb against her clit. “Oh God,” Emma groaned and threw her head back, “Kiss me damn it.” Brody leaned over and kissed her pushing into her further. Emma‘s head reared back again, “Too much, too…full.” Brody swiftly pulled the string almost removing the balls and Emma pushed back into him harshly, “Awe fuck Em,” Brody pulled back. “No…don’t—don’t stop,” Emma lifted her hands and he pulled the scarf releasing her arms. “Are you alright?” Brody groaned. “Uh huh…yes…YES,” Emma moaned into the duvet covering their bed. Brody pushed in slowly, until he was halfway in her, “I feel like I’m going to tear you apart, Em,” he growled, “So fucking tight.” She felt him throbbing inside her, pulsing, she felt every curve and contour of his cock, “No further please, but don’t you dare stop.” “Alright love, so…fucking…good!” He pulled out swiftly and Emma whimpered loudly. “Brody!” Emma cried out and he flipped her on her back. He pulled the string releasing the balls from her pussy and pushed harshly into her, “Oh Brody!” “Love, shhh,” Brody continued pounding into her and promptly unclipped the clamps and took her nipples into his mouth hollowing his cheeks as he sucked them. Emma bit his shoulder to stop herself from screaming out again. “Fuck,” Brody growled as he continued thrusting hard and fast into her until he came powerfully inside her. Brody lay panting on top of Emma, “Damn, Em.”
“Damn, Brody,” Emma whispered and buried her head into his neck. “Un-fucking-believable,” Brody pushed himself up on his elbows and held her face between his hands forcing her to look in his eyes. “Good, huh?” “Brody,” Emma groaned and tried to move her face to look away from him. “Wife,” he kissed her lips and rubbed his finger across it and she blushed, “hot little…sexy Em.” “Really?” Emma scowled. “Fuck yeah, really,” Brody smiled, “Next time I’m all in, Love.” “Get…off...me...” Emma tried to push him and hide her face. “You are smiling, yet you won’t let me bask in the aftermath with you. Such a mean little Em,” Brody smiled broadly. Emma tried not to smile. “Too much...too full...” Brody panted mimicking her. “You’re an ass,” Emma laughed. “Hmmm,” Brody kissed her and ran his nose across her face, “I love you more, Em.” “You better,” Emma sat up and squeezed his ass hard and looked at him and smirked. “Don’t even think about it,” Brody laughed and pulled her into him.
Collin was changing into shorts for bed when Tessa walked in, “Lose the shorts, lover.” Collin turned and shook his head, “Did you want to wear them?” “Nope, but I don’t think I want you to either,” Tessa smiled and watched as he dropped his shorts. “Like this beautiful?” Collin walked slowly towards her. She looked down and watched him growing. Just the sight of him naked, even after over twenty years, made her muscles tighten and her throat go dry. She shook her head quickly up and down. “Tell me how you want me, Tessa,” Collin stood looking into her eyes. “You, always you,” she whimpered. “Alright beautiful how do you want me?” “On me, in me, kiss me Collin, please,” Tessa stepped forward and her arms wrapped around him and his around her. They kissed slowly, his mouth over hers and he growled. He stood up and stepped back. He lifted her shirt looking at her bare breasts, a chill went through him and he closed his eyes briefly. “More beautiful every day,” he ran his finger up her side and his kisses trailed the path is finger had created. Petal soft kisses, adoring her body. He had to hold back, after a day like today he needed her badly. Always his soft place to land in the chaotic mess life was. He began to kiss her harder and took her breast in his mouth as she pushed into him, “Collin,” she whispered. “Mmm,” Collin trailed kisses between her breasts until he was on his knees in front of her. She watched him as hunger took over desire, and need replaced want. His tongue spread her and he lifted her leg over his shoulder. She held his hair tightly steadying her shaking legs as her desire burned deep inside. Fiercely he licked her, tasted her, and teased her with his tongue. He pulled her leg down and stood and lifted her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and he growled as he pushed into her harshly. “I love you, beautiful,” his voice was a plea that she was unaccustomed to. The way his mouth continued to kiss and lick her skin sent lightning throughout her. He was different than normal. He was with her, in her, caressing and kissing her but she knew something was amiss.
“Don’t hold back on me, Tessa,” Collin growled as he pushed harder into her. “I love you,” Tessa held tightly to him burying her head in the crook of his neck. Something was wrong, and she desperately needed to find out what it was. He was hurting and it hurt her, too. Collin pulled out and turned her facing the bed, “Bend over Tessa.” “I can’t see you that…” “Please Tessa,” Collin turned her back and she did as he had asked. When he entered her from behind his hands gripped her hips tightly as he pushed in and pulled out almost all the way. “No please,” Tessa whimpered, “Don’t stop.” Collin slammed into her and she fell apart and he followed. They lay next to each other trying to catch their breath. Collin held her hand to his mouth kissing it as he tried to slow his breathing. Tessa watched as Collin closed his eyes. They were not the restful lazy after orgasm eyes he usually had after they made love. Nor was he looking at her smiling or adoringly. He was struggling with something and she knew it. Tessa lay on her side and rubbed her husband’s chest, “You wanna talk about it?” He squinted his eyes and shook his head no. Tessa leaned down and kissed his chest. “Everything is going to be alright. She loves him, Collin. When I look in her eyes, when she looks at him, or talks about him, I know she’s completely in love with him,” Tessa sat up and kissed his head and laughed, “You’re going to be a grandfather. I’m going to be a nana.” Tessa expected him to laugh or smile but he did not. He sat up on his knees and took both her hands in his. “Hey beautiful, we need to talk about something. Before I start you need to know how much I love you. I love our life, our family, more than anything, alright?” Tessa tilted her head and concern shown over her entire face, “You’re scaring me,” came out in a whisper. “Not nearly as much as this scares me,” Collin pulled her into him and held her head against his rapidly beating heart, “You know how much I not only love you, Tessa, but I adore you. You are the reason I exist. You’ve given me three beautiful children and…” Tessa began to tremble and he held her tightly, “Just tell me, please, Collin.” He kissed her head and sat back and took her hands. He leaned in and kissed her lips and rested his forehead against hers, “I love you beautiful, always have and nothing will ever change that.” Tears started falling down her face and she sat back and quickly wiped them away, “Tell me. Whatever it is that’s hurting you is killing me too. Just tell me now, Collin.” Collin looked up at her sadly, “I knew Harper was pregnant, I knew for two weeks…” Tessa’s mouth dropped and he reached for her recoiled hand, “What?” “Blake told me and I didn’t know how to tell you without you going to her and…” “I’m her mother, Collin! Of course I would’ve gone to her. You knew!” Tessa jumped off the bed and he stood and grabbed her. “Let go of me… now!” “I won’t, I won’t ever,” Collin held her to his chest. “I’m so angry at you, so hurt,” Tessa wiped away tears, “She needed us, me! She had no one…” “I’m so sorry and nothing can excuse this-- but Blake was there, Tessa, she wasn’t alone,” his voice had lost its edge, his control was leaving. “Did you do that too, Collin?” Tessa pulled away and he held her tighter. “Of course I did. She wouldn’t let Tomas go, she was going to be alone and I trusted him. He was qualified for the position so I pushed a little. I needed her to be safe too, Tessa.” “You need to let go of me now, Collin. I’m getting even more pissed at you every second so just
SHUT UP!” Tessa pulled away and he let go. She grabbed her clothes and pulled them on quickly. “I’ll leave,” Collin threw on his pants and then his shirt, “I do want you to think about a couple things. First, Harper was rebelling against everything since the concert, she needed something of her own, and I needed her to tell us. Second, was Maddox really in a place at that point to deal with this? You would have talked her into telling him, he would not have come to her on his own accord and she would’ve never felt like he came there for her. Third, I love my children just as much as you do, Tessa. Just like I love you. I messed up. I was going to tell you, but I was angry and afraid of how I may come off. I was absolutely going to discuss this with you.” Tessa looked up at him and shook her head back and forth, “Is that all you got, Collin?” “Yes.” “Are you leaving or am I?” Collin closed his eyes tightly for a moment. As he turned towards the door he whispered, “I love you.” Tessa threw herself on the bed and sobbed into her pillow. She was so angry at him, hurt that he kept it from her. Confused as to how he could love his child, yet still let her struggle for two minutes let alone two weeks. She dried her eyes and continued to let her mind run wild. What else had he kept from her, after all these years did she even truly know her husband? She felt sick to her stomach and ran to the bathroom and threw up. She sat on the bathroom’s cold tile floor and cried some more. Her baby, her daughter that grew inside her, was going through hell and she didn’t even know it. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and felt emotionally drained as she walked back into the bedroom, laid down and fell asleep. Collin knelt beside the bed and watched his wife sleep. He was dying inside, he never intended on hurting her, it was quite the opposite; he tried to protect her always. Tessa tossed and turned in her sleep, whimpering as if she were in pain. She had dreams often that caused her many restless nights. Collin rubbed her back gently trying to soothe her as he always did. “No, no, no, no, no,” Tessa cried as she sat up. Collin recoiled his hand and she looked at him. She looked lost and confused and again, pain built in his chest. She jumped forward and hugged him tightly. “It’s a dream beautiful, it’s alright,” he held her as he stood; cradling her in his arms and sat on the bed kissing her head and rocking back and forth slowly. Tessa’s grip finally began to loosen and she looked up at him, “You hurt me.” “I never intended to,” he whispered and looked down, “never.” Tessa dried her eyes, “Why? Why would you keep that from me it’s—cruel.” “I’m going to tell you. Just so you know I’m terrified that you’ll be even more angry and hurt. That is never what I wanted, not ever Tessa,” Collin sat back and looked at her, he closed his eyes gathering his thoughts. “I wanted to go to her, you and me to go to her… immediately. I sat and thought about the fact that in two weeks we would be face to face with her and I knew she would tell us then. I know you Tessa, I know if someone is hurting or struggling it tears you apart. I know you stop at nothing to help them. I knew that if I asked you to wait, your ears would’ve turned a beautiful shade of red trying your damnedest to not blow up, but you would blow up. You would have called her, and dragged it out of her and then you would have been disappointed that she didn’t tell you. It would have hurt you.” Tessa started to object, “No Tessa… hear me out please. Our son CJ looks like me and acts like you. He is hot headed and very quick to jump to action. He doesn’t think before he reacts, he just does. This is why he is going to be a damn good doctor. Matthew looks like you, acts a lot like me. Everything is strategic and well planned out. He gets quiet when there’s a problem and internalizes nearly everything. Again he is going to make an
amazing lawyer or business man…it will take him more time to choose which way to go. Our Harper tries to be perfect, Tessa. She tries to appease us. When something happens like the night in New York City… when she…she was hurt by him but also scared as hell that we were going to be disappointed. Sneaking to that concert at her age instead of telling us. Her road trip with Ava, she was either rebelling or trying to prove to herself that she could do it. Harper is so much like you when it comes to family. But like me when it comes to wanting to please you. She loves you, needs you, and would do whatever she could to not have you look at her with disappointment. She is a perfect blend of us. I didn’t tell you Tessa, because I wanted her to be the one to do it. I wanted your little girl to tell you first. The other thing was I needed her to make a decision that she could do this alone…” “No, she would never have to do it alone,” Tessa tried to get up. “Hold up Tessa, I meant without Maddox, not you. If he hadn’t wanted to change, if he had …this could’ve been very ugly, Tessa. You would have lost Emma and the girls.” “He loves her I knew that from the first time I saw them together, it would not have…” “He wasn’t ready. He thought he was, but he wasn’t. I knew that, I don’t doubt my actions, Tessa. I feel badly about it, but I don’t…” “What else have you not told me, Collin? What else do you not trust me with?” Tessa was getting angry again. Collin took a deep breath, “Tessa, if I tell you everything, I know you – you can’t try to fix it all. I truly believe that…” “You don’t trust me!” “That’s not what I said, Tessa. Please understand that…” Tessa pulled away and stood up, “I’m done…” Collin sprung to his feet, “NO! What the hell is that supposed to mean, Tessa? Never mind. Apparently you never truly loved…” “WHAT? You are such an ass, Collin; I’m done with this conversation, you…you...ASS!” Collin grabbed her and pulled her against him, “I told you over twenty years ago that you could crush me, Tessa, and that has not changed. I. LOVE. YOU. I would never fucking hurt you.” “Don’t I …don’t” Tessa began to cry again. “I’m fucking this up and all I wanted to do was protect you and our children and…you don’t trust me?” Tessa stepped back and looked into his eyes, “You hide things from me about…” “Sit, I’ll tell you everything about our kids,” Tessa sat and looked up at him sadly. “I do love you Collin, so please stop looking at me like you’re afraid,” Tessa wiped her eyes. Collin stepped towards her and she held her hand up stopping him, “I’m angry at you. But I love you.” Collin stood with his hands in his pockets and his head hung, “CJ goes out with different girls all the time. He never stays with them for more than a week. Matthew has been…Tessa you can’t tell them any of this, if they know we can’t keep them safe. They will start to pull away we will lose them.” “I’m not an idiot, Collin,” Tessa snapped. “I know you’re not. Damn it…Matthew slept with his …this is not easy to talk to you about Tessa. They are boys and…” “Spill it,” Tessa closed her eyes. “Matthew had a two year fling with his law professor’s assistant. She moved back to her hometown and got back together with her high school boyfriend. Matthew followed her to tell her he cared and she told him no. He was hurt but got through it,” Collin peeked up through his lashes at Tessa, her jaw was dropped, “Do you want to talk about it? With me Tessa, not them or it will…” “What else do you know?” “Ava Links slept with Liam for a while and then Luke Lane,” Collin grimaced.
“She did?” Tessa gasped. “Yep and …” Collin stopped “Go on,” Tessa looked at him wide eyed and he shook his head from side to side. “I can’t…Tessa I can’t lose you,” Collin’s hands fisted at his sides. “You aren’t going to, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be pissed. Spill it,” Tessa crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not one hundred percent sure about this and I swear to God above, Tessa, that if this causes problems for us, if you leave me for him…” “What the hell are you talking about, Collin?” “I’m pretty sure that Ashley Links has been having an affair since the winter before Harper and Ava’s prom,” Collin took a deep breath and looked up at Tessa. Her face was expressionless. “Say something here, Tessa,” Collin’s voice trembled. Tessa grabbed his face, “I’m tired.” “That’s it?” Collin asked in a somewhat angry tone. “What do I say to that? I mean really what do I say?” She started to climb into bed and he stood looking at her nervously, “What are you feeling? At least tell me that.” “I feel bad for Ava and Logan, and yes I feel badly for Lucas. I think Ashley is an idiot, he loves her. When he finds out…” “You can’t tell him, Tessa.” “I won’t, it’s not my place,” Tessa closed her eyes, “It’s going to crush him.” “And he’ll come after you, Tessa,” Collin growled. “No he won’t, it’s been twenty years and we are friends, you’re his friend. Lucas wouldn’t do that to you, Collin. He may have treated girls badly back then, but he has bromance issues so just get that out of your head and figure out how YOU are going to tell him,” Tessa laid down expecting him to lie next to her. “I won’t tell him,” Collin said, “It isn’t my place.” Tessa turned around and looked at him, “Would you want to know Collin? If I was out screwing around wouldn’t you want Lucas to tell you?” “I would know,” Collin whispered. “Alright stalker, but he doesn’t,” Tessa yawned, “You’re going to have to find a way to at least lead him to it, Collin. I’m tired and pissed at you and I’m going to bed.” Tessa covered up and looked back, Collin stood looking at her, “Well goodnight then, Tessa, I’m sorry, and I love you.” Collin began walking away, “Come to bed, Collin,” Tessa pulled the covers back, “Just understand that I’m hurt, and you may never …” her voice broke. “Come here beautiful,” Collin pulled her into his arms and held her until she fell asleep.
Maddox walked into London’s room and looked for Harper; she’d fallen asleep with London earlier. She wasn’t in the room. He tucked London in, and kissed her head. When he turned around Harper was standing in the doorway. “Hello,” Maddox said looking at Harper’s smiling face. “Hi,” Harper walked into his arms and hugged him. He chuckled lightly and held her, “You were sleeping so soundly.”
Harper giggled, “Your parents are loud.” Maddox pulled back and looked at her, “So are yours.” “No way,” Harper giggled. “Yes, I’m sure your father will be barefoot in the morning,” Maddox kissed her, “I would like to be as well.” “You remember the barefoot thing?” Harper smiled with a look of confusion on her face. “I told you I remember everything Harper. Well, all except some of the last night we spent the night here. I would love a do over,” Maddox’s fingertips grazed her check. Her hand covered his and she pushed her cheek into it, “Aren’t you tired?” She pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed his fingertips. He slowly shook his head back and forth, “No, sweetness. Tired isn’t what I’m feeling right now?” “No?” Harper took his middle finger in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it causing Maddox to moan. “Let’s go,” his voice was deep and his eyes full of desire. Harper turned and pushed her back against him still holding his hand to her mouth, still teasing him with her tongue. His free hand reached around her and slowly moved under her shirt and he grabbed her breast as he kissed her neck and groaned as his finger lightly skimmed over her erect nipple. Harper arched her back, pushing her breasts into his hand and reached over her shoulder while she grabbed a handful of his dark silky hair. He nipped her neck and licked it and groaned against her skin causing her body to shudder and a million tiny goose bumps to spread over her body. “Unbelievable,” she whispered as they reached the door. Harper turned around and Maddox kicked the door shut behind him and reached back locking the door, “Come here, sweetness.” Harper looked down at his blue plaid cotton pajama pant bottoms and saw his erection pressed against them. She licked her lips and looked up at him. “See something you like, Sweetness?” Maddox reached over and pulled the bottom of her shirt swiftly over her head, “Look at those tits, unbelievable.” Harper reached down and released him from his pants and stroked him slowly back and forth. His head bowed and he took her breast in his mouth; he sucked as she stroked him. She stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed and licked her lips, “Come…here.” His brows shot up in mock shock and a sly grin lifted in the corner of his mouth. He reached down his pants, pulled himself free, and slowly walked towards her as she chewed on her bottom lip. He chuckled deeply as she grabbed him and pulled him into her mouth. His hands fisted in her hair and he watched her take him in her mouth as deeply as she could. “Awe fuck, Sweetness.” Maddox’s head fell to the side and his mouth gaped as he breathed in slowly. Harper looked up at his steamy sapphire blue, now almost black, eyes. He looked so hot; she took him further and faster. The sounds coming from his mouth, his throat, from him, made her so hot she almost lost it. “Sweetness, unless you want a mouthful of our future children you better…Why the hell did you bite me?” Maddox jumped back and held himself. He looked down and laughed “Sweetness, now you have pissed off Thumper, look he’s retreating.” He turned her face to him. Harper looked up at him expressionless, “You’re not going without me.” Harper stood and he tried to grab her elbow and she pulled away. “I’m going with you tomorrow.” She grabbed her shirt and threw it over her head and handed him his shirt and pointed to the door. Maddox’s mouth fell open and he very slowly pulled his pants up as he watched her try to pull her eyes away from his hard and growing penis. He smirked as he watched her eyeing him still biting her lip. “Harper, I proposed to you today,” Maddox stood and slowly stalked towards her and she turned
away, “Everyone knows how I feel about you, that we love each other. Everyone we love knows you feel the same.” Maddox grabbed her from behind by the hips and pulled her towards him. His fingers automatically sprawled across her belly rubbing gently as he pulled her firmly against him. His nose pressed into the side of her hair as he breathed in deeply. He felt her shake slightly and he chuckled silently. Harper elbowed him and he groaned loudly in her ear. “Please, let go,” she meant to sound strong but her voice betrayed her. “No, thank you,” he said with a smile in his voice. “You can bite poor Thumper, and elbow me all you want. I understand what you’re trying to prove, Harper, but it made me even more…” He rolled his hips into her and she gasped. “You need to trust me as much as I trust you. I love you, you love me: we have covered that. Now I work on gaining your trust. When I have done that, you can try to gain back Thumper’s trust.” “Ass!” Harper tried to wiggle out of his arms as he laughed, making her even more irritated. “I’m going to scream.” “Harper, my father and yours are accompanying me tomorrow.” She turned abruptly and looked over her shoulder at him in shock, “You bit Thumper, Sweetness,” he shook his head back and forth slowly in mock disappointment. Harper looked away quickly and remained stiff. Maddox stepped back and turned her around as she looked down unwilling to look into his eyes. He reached down and took her hand and kissed her ring and then knelt and kissed her belly. He stood up slowly, took her hand and led her to the bed. She lay down and faced the other way, and he tucked her in. He stood up and walked to the other side and squatted in front of her. He kissed her cheek. “Get some sleep, I think you’re a bit grumpy because you’re tired and possibly overwhelmed. I won’t bother you tonight. My room is three doors down on the right if you need anything.” He stood up, “I love you, Harper, goodnight.”
CHAPTER SEVEN My Everything Maddox shut the door behind him and laughed to himself. He walked by Lexi’s room and heard her making a noise. He cracked opened the door and the light from the hallway allowed him to see her sitting up with her bottom lip quivering and knew she was about to cry. He walked in and smiled, “Feeling better, Lexington?” He sat down and she climbed on his lap and hugged him. “Oh there we go,” he rubbed her back and felt her head, “You are sweating like crazy, girl. Let’s get you a drink and some dry clothes okay?” She shook her head yes and yawned. He stood up, grabbed her a clean nightshirt, and carried her down to the bathroom and turned on the light. “Too bright,” she nuzzled into his neck. “Okay, sorry,” Maddox turned the light off and the nightlight automatically came on lighting the dark room... “See,” she leaned back. Maddox helped her take her gown off and wiped her body down as she shivered. He quickly put the new nightgown on, “Go potty while we’re in here?” “Yes,” she sat down and went to the bathroom as he filled up the Dixie cup of water. He heard her begin to whimper and quickly turned around, “What’s wrong Lexi?” “I forgot to pull up my gown,” her face scrunched up and she started to cry. “Oh that’s no big deal,” he pulled it over her head quickly. “I want Daddy,” Lexi’s little voice squeaked and she covered her face. “Hey, I’ve missed you. I wanted to read to you would that be alright?” Maddox pulled his shirt over his head and put it over her and she smiled shyly. “It’s too big.” “It’s perfect,” he smiled and she giggled. He walked into the hallway holding her and Brody walked out of his room, “I was just coming to check on her.” “Maddox is going to read to me,” Lexi reached her hands out and gave him a hug. “New nightgown?” Brody smiled. “No.” Lexington scowled and looked at Maddox. “Her fever broke, huh Lexington?” She smiled sweetly and shook her head yes. “Well that’s good news,” Brody smiled at Maddox, “You sure you don’t have things to do, Maddox?” “I have a book to read,” Maddox crinkled his nose up at Lexington and she smiled, “And I have missed her, so we are just fine.”
Harper came out of the guest room and walked to Maddox’s room. He was not in his bed. She saw a light on and peeked into the room next to his and saw him lying on his back, one arm behind his head and the other around Lexington who was sleeping with her head on his shoulder. She walked in quietly and
kissed his messy brown hair and went to turn off the light. He grabbed her hand and smiled sleepily. He saw her eyes begin to moisten. He held his finger up signaling her to wait. He slid his arm out from under Lexington and tucked her in. He kissed her head and took Harper’s hand. He led her to the hallway and turned towards his room. She pulled his arm stopping him. He looked at her and she tried to walk back to her room. “No way,” he chuckled, “Nothing good has ever happened in that room.” “Please,” Harper squeezed her eyes shut and a tear fell. “Sweetness, please don’t do that,” he turned and wiped the tear away. “I really am sorry, I’m just…” Harper’s lip started to quiver. “Come on, let’s go.” He pulled her into his room and shut the door and hugged her. “We’ve had a long, very emotional day. Everything is fine, better than fine.” Maddox lifted her hand and started to pull the ring from her finger. She pulled her hand back quickly and looked panicked. He smiled and took it again and she let him pull it off. He sat her on the bed and knelt in front of her, “Marry me, Harper?” She shook her head yes quickly and he pushed the ring on her finger and hugged her. He dropped his pants and climbed into bed and pulled her up into his arms and fell asleep after she finally did.
Harper woke to the morning light and slid out from under Maddox. She’d never been in his room. It was very big and clean. It was painted gray and the floors were dark hardwood. She saw his desk and it had pictures in frames from when they were younger in South Africa. One of them on the beach with London and Lexington, the first time they had spoken. She rubbed her fingers across where his scars shone. Scars from when he was beaten as a child, before Brody knew of him. She felt tears touch her eyes. She grabbed the frame and held it tightly to her chest. She was hugging him, while wishing she could have helped him, then. She opened a small five by seven platinum plated album. The first picture was of them asleep in the room he slept in. The night she wouldn’t leave until he promised to be her friend. There were a few from the Cape, after the truth about his past was revealed. She remembered being so angry at him and now it crushed her to think of how awful she had been to him. She was so angry that he hadn’t told anyone, tried to get help when he realized his Aunt Rebecca was someone who knew of him before he even knew, before Brody knew. Before she realized it tears were pouring down her face and Maddox was kneeling in front of her. “Harper,” he whispered as he hugged her. “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, “for every rotten thing I have ever done to you. I don’t deserve you. God Maddox, I have been so awful.” She held onto him as if her life depended on it and he lifted her up and held her tightly against his chest. “Sweetness, we’ve gone through this. I’m sorry too, okay? We’re going to be fine…right?” The question in his voice hurt her and she cried more, “I love you.” “Alright, what has got you so…” Maddox looked down at her arm still between them and saw her holding a picture frame, “Can I see?” She shook her head yes and kissed him, he smiled and pulled his head back, “Thank you for that.” He took the picture frame and looked at it and whispered, “The first time we met.” “No,” she wiped her eyes and looked up at him, “I saw you before, on the island when you first
came…” “But we hadn’t met yet,” he smiled. “I knew then,” she looked up at him and then closed her eyes, “I knew I loved you then.” “Yeah?” Harper watched a smile creep across his face, “Yeah.” “I’m so glad you did, Harper.” She watched as he studied the picture trying to figure out what had upset her and then she saw him trying not to scowl, “I’d never hurt anyone like that, if that’s what you are worried about, Harper, please don’t…” “No, no, Maddox,” she hugged him, “I know that. God, I know that. I’ve hurt you, though. I can’t believe the things…” Harper stopped talking when he moved away from her, “Maddox please…” He grabbed the photo album and then her hand. He sat them on the bed and opened it, “You really need to see us how I do, Harper. This is only a glimpse of it.” He held up the framed picture, “This was us on the beach, after our first run-in,” he smirked, “I remember being a total tool because you knew of my past. God… I was so pissed at you that night. But you pushed the next day and we played in the sand, together, overlooking the ocean which I swore calmed me. But it was actually you that calmed me. Made me feel…like I was going to be alright. You didn’t have to embrace me like my family did. You chose to. This one was the first time I slept with someone,” he winked at her and she smiled and relaxed into his side a little more, “out of friendship.” He turned the page and smiled. “Prom,” Harper whispered. “I really wanted to do naughty things to you,” Maddox smiled. “I really would have let you,” Harper wrapped her arms around his waist and he chuckled as they continued looking at the prom pictures. “That was the first time we said I love you,” Maddox whispered again. “The first time we said it yes, not the first time I knew.” He turned the page and his body tensed. “Backstage at your first concert,” Harper looked up at him. “Yeah,” he started turning the page and she stopped him. “I would have let you that night too. Even though…” “I’m so sorry,” Maddox’s voice was a pained whisper. “No Maddox, it…I understand,” Harper took his hand and kissed it, she felt him relax again. The next picture was of them backstage at the Garden and Harper smiled. Maddox looked down at her confused, “You’re smiling.” “Yes, you sang to me,” Harper’s smile widened. He started to close the book and she stopped him. “Harper, the rest is kind of private,” Maddox’s face started turning red. “I want to see,” she snatched the album from his hand and turned the page. Harper’s mouth dropped open and Maddox chuckled as he sat up and rested his head on her shoulder looking down. “Where did you get this?” Maddox looked at the picture of her on the balcony naked wrapped around him at the hotel on their first night. “I have my ways. You can’t get mad; it’s the same picture that was splashed all over the news.” Harper turned the page and saw pictures of her sleeping that same night. Maddox ran his finger across one that had her breast exposed. “Great masturbation material,” Maddox joked and laughed nervously.
“WHAT?” He laughed at her response, “Hell yes, after being inside you the very first time I knew it wasn’t just your love I needed, but your hot, wet, tight little…” Harper elbowed him and he let out a groan and then laughed. He pulled her between his legs and looked over her shoulder as she flipped through the pages. Each page was part of their story, even those that were not of them together. It was in chronological order. A photo of Cornell University. One of the band’s albums and ticket stubs from the New Jersey concert. “A computer?” Maddox shook his head, “Yep,” and he laughed, “That was when you replied to T’s comment to Ava’s father and I responded to let you know it was me…you didn’t respond.” “I couldn’t,” Harper whispered. “I desperately wanted you to. I felt,” Maddox stopped. “Please go on,” Harper raised her hand and rubbed it through his hair. “I hoped it would open up communication between us again, I missed you so much it hurt, Harper. To know what I’d done to you in New Jersey,” he whispered. “Sorry, I just couldn’t,” Harper pushed her head against the side of his cheek. He turned the page, “The phone. Our conversation when you called for London.” Maddox snapped the album shut, “And that’s it.” He quickly shoved it under the pillow and grabbed her chin lifting it up, “Unless you want to check for teeth marks,” he kissed her and chuckled against her mouth, “We could take a picture of that.” “Sorry,” Harper turned around and climbed on his lap and hugged him. She had realized he had closed the album before she had actually seen the entire album. While Maddox was busy running his hand slowly up and down her back and softly kissing her neck she reached underneath the pillow and grabbed the book. Trying to move stealthily she flipped through the pictures and came to the one of the phone and turned to the next. There was a hand written note in place of a picture. Mine…Always and Forever. The ways I love you are countless and without end. The first and last of all things, my dearest friend. Smile of angels and darkness combines. The life and death of me, a light that blinds.
On the page next to it was a photo of the bracelet she had made him in South America when they were younger, a friendship bracelet. Harper rubbed it gently as Maddox’s hand went up her shirt. She turned the page and there was a heart drawn, words of the same poem she had just read making the outline of the heart. Inside it said Harper Ann Hines and under underneath HAH. Maddox’s hand left her breast, “Sweetness, am I boring you?” “No…no I was just…” Maddox lay back with her on him and onto the album, “What the…” Harper leaned over and kissed him deeply trying to sidetrack him. He laughed and kissed her equally as hard. His tongue tracing the outline of her lower lip and then dipped inside her mouth. He grabbed her and rolled them to their sides. Harper’s hand moved from his hair, down his chest. He tensed as she moved down his very tight and toned abs and she moaned into his mouth. Her hand slipped down his loose cotton pajama bottoms and she grasped him in her hand stroking him firmly. She pulled her mouth away from his and started kissing the path her hand paved. Maddox flopped his head back. “Damn,” he groaned as she took him in her mouth. He turned his head to see what he had hit it on and saw the album. He rolled his eyes and was about to
stop her for a little chat when her tongue swirled around his head. “Fuck,” he whimpered, “Sweetness stop—awe fuck don’t stop,” he pulled her hair away from her face and watched as she slowly moved up and down his length. “Okay…damn it,” Maddox pulled her head back away from him and moved away from her. “Really, Maddox?” Harper gasped, “Fine. Thumper, I’m really very sorry that I…” Maddox laughed out loud and Harper looked up at him and scowled, “No, please don’t stop on my account continue your conversation. When you’re finished chatting we need to talk about this.” Harper looked up at Maddox. He was holding the album and his eyebrow raised. “Thumper, you are attached to the most maddening man I have ever met,” Harper rolled to her back and covered her face. “Maddening, huh?” Harper started to stand up and he grabbed her and pulled her into him. “Yes, very,” Harper giggled, “Why would you hide that from me?” “Are you always going to be so nosy?” “Are you going to continue answering my questions with questions?” Maddox chuckled, “Are you ever going to stop driving me crazy?” “Do you really want me to?” Maddox kissed her cheek, “Hmm, in some ways yes, others …no way.” “You still have the bracelet?” “No,” Maddox laughed, “It was a figment of your imagination.” “Well it is very sweet,” Harper whispered and looked up at him. “Yeah, I suppose.” “What does that mean?’ Harper turned to face him. “Well,” Maddox chuckled, “Kind of...emasculating.” “No Maddox. Your feelings are not. You are all man.” Harper climbed on his lap and grabbed his hair with both hands and looked at him, “No more secrets, no more hidden feelings, and no more being anything but what we have always been. Friends first Maddox, promise me that. I want to know first; not my daddy. I love that you asked him to go with you but if you don’t trust me enough to tell me, well it makes me nervous. Which makes me irritable, which makes me...?” “Bite poor Thumper and become very nosey?” “I cannot have it any other way. I want to be…” “My everything,” Maddox whispered and looked down. “You are, Harper, and my God I don’t want you to doubt that. I just…I need some sort of control, Harper. I know that seems…” Harper lifted his chin and he closed his eyes, “Please open those drop dead gorgeous, blue ‘fuck me’ eyes, Maddox Hines.” Maddox smirked and opened his eyes and peered up at her through his dark lashes. “Mmm mmm mmm,” Harper smiled and kissed him. “My life has only been mine for a few years, Harper,” Maddox began, “It’s hard to explain.” She covered his lips with her hands, “We’ll figure it out together.” Maddox took her hand and kissed it and then held it to his heart. “Mine,” Harper whispered. “All yours, always,” Maddox kissed it again. Harper moved in for a kiss and he leaned back, “I need to tell you a few things.” Harper’s eyes widened and she sat back. “Where do you want to live when you’re finished here?” “I really haven’t thought about it, but with you of course,” Harper answered skeptically. “Well yes, but…”
Harper scowled, “You should know something about me Maddox Hines, when I feel like I’m about to be hurt, I get pissed.” Maddox smiled, “I’m very well aware of that, Harper, so damn hot.” His thumb rubbed her lip and she attempted to bite it and he pulled it back quickly. “Okay, just sit and listen, alright?” Harper shook her head yes. “Before I came to you I had applied to a few schools. I’ve been accepted to a couple,” Maddox watched her blink rapidly. “You need to tell me which one you would prefer. Cornell is one of them.” She looked down at her ring and rubbed it slowly with her finger, “It’s up to you. What about the band and the baby and…” “I’m going to quit the band.” Harper’s eyes snapped up and met his, “You love it Maddox, I don’t even have to ask if you do. When you’re on stage you shine, you…” “Music makes me happy, Harper, but you make me shine. When I’m at my best on stage, you’re with me, in my words, in my heart, in each note I sing. It was never my dream to be a rock star. For as long as I have known you, you have been my dream. We’re going to have a child and your reservations about my lifestyle…I won’t have you doubt that I am anything but one hundred and ten percent yours. I applied for school when you and I weren’t together. I really want this, for us.” “Okay,” Harper smiled and looked again at her ring. Maddox smiled, “We will be married, then have a child, and then I will return to school.” Harper looked up at him, “You’re sure?” “Positive, I would marry you right now if you would agree to it,” Maddox lifted her chin. She smiled at him and felt her face flush as his eyes gleamed. “You are so beautiful,” Maddox whispered and kissed her. Harper stepped off the bed and started to lift her shirt. “No,” Maddox grinned and took her hand.
He opened the door to the guest bedroom and she smiled as she walked in. He shut the door behind her and locked it. “I don’t care about the bad things that happened in our past. Today and tomorrow, now and forever are what matters the most for you and I. So this room of disappointments changes from black to red hot now.” Maddox started walking towards her. Harper looked at him and her lips curled slightly, “We are going to be so happy, Maddox.” He stopped and tilted his head and looked at her and smiled softly, “Of course,” Maddox licked his lips slowly as his eyes took her in, completely. “I’m going to make you very fucking happy right now.”
London knocked on the door and there was no answer. She tried to open the door and it was locked, “Grrr.” She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, “Is Maddox down here?” Emma looked at her. “No, he’s probably still sleeping. He was up late with your sister.” Brody looked up at her and smiled, “She chose him over me, London. It broke my heart.” “Well you’re not alone. Harper is locked in her room crying. I knocked and she stopped. So wherever Maddox is I think he piss…”
“London!” Emma gasped and looked at Tessa. “He loves her so he should stop being a…” “London, enough,” Brody tried not to laugh. “The language.” “What? My dad and brother drop the f bomb like it’s hot all the time,” London crossed her arms in front of her. “I am a product of my environment. Rock stars’ kids are supposed to be…” Brody grabbed her and tickled her. She laughed loudly. “Don’t blame me there, potty mouth. Your mouth started when you were seven. I remember shit popping out of your mouth six years ago.” Tessa smiled at Emma and they both excused themselves. “She is a trip,” Tessa laughed when they left the room. “Yes, she certainly is. Let’s go check to see how Harper is doing.” They walked up the stairs and Tessa was about to open the door when they heard Maddox growl, “Fuck Sweetness, so fucking…” Emma’s face turned bright red and she covered her ears. Tessa laughed out loud and Emma covered her mouth. “God Maddox, oh God, yes.” Harper’s voice came through the door and Tessa covered her ears. “Oh my God,” Emma whispered. Tessa was about to knock on the door and Emma grabbed her hand, “Let them finish, for God sake.” Tessa’s jaw dropped and she covered her mouth and grabbed Emma’s hand and they ran across the hall into the bathroom where they both started laughing. Emma looked at Tessa and tried to stop herself and started again. “That was…” “Embarrassing?” Emma tried to keep a straight face. “I was going to say that, I really was, but then…” “Then what, Tessa?” Emma gasped. “I’m glad my daughter is happy. That’s so wrong,” Tessa covered her face and laughed. Emma and Tessa froze when they heard Harper giggle in the hallway. “Get that little ass back here,” Maddox growled. “I’m going to shower,” Harper whispered. “I am …coming with you,” Maddox chuckled. “You just did. I miss showering with you too, but not here,” Harper smacked his hand away as she opened the bathroom door. Emma and Tessa froze covering their mouths. “Now you’re hitting me. Wow, you bit Thumper last night and then…” “I said I was sorry, Maddox. What more can I do?” Harper turned standing in the doorway. “Well you could wash him, rub him, and kiss him better in the shower Sweetness,” Harper laughed and Maddox pushed the door open and hit Tessa in the head. “Damn it,” Tessa held her head and Maddox quickly looked behind the door. “Oh. My. God.” Harper turned red as she looked at Emma and Tessa behind the door. “Oh shit,” Maddox whispered closing his eyes. They all stood looking at each other in shock and then Emma started laughing out loud. “Mom,” Maddox gasped. “Sorry,” Emma covered her mouth and Tessa began to laugh. There was a knock on the door and Caroline popped her head in. “Oh God,” Maddox covered his face. “Maddox there is nothing to be ashamed of,” Caroline smiled. “Mom!” Emma’s voice squeaked and she tried to gather her wits. “Last night there was lots of crying and praying in this house last night. Both your’s and Tessa’s
room, so you just back off of them,” Caroline stopped and watched Tessa and Emma turn deep red. “So Harper my dear and Maddox my boy… don’t let these two prudes stop you from enjoying your…youth as thoroughly and as often as you wish.” Harper looked at Maddox shocked and he laughed. “He comes by it naturally, Harper, and from the sound of your parents last night, you do as well. Sex is…” “MOM!” Emma yelled. “Oh fine. Maddox, London is looking for you. Apparently you made Harper cry this morning,” Caroline smiled and walked out the door. Maddox laughed out loud, “Enjoy your shower, Harper.” He kissed her head and walked out the door. Harper looked at her mom, “Sorry I…” “You bit his…” “Oh for crying out loud Mom could we just forget all of that just happened?” Harper held the door open and Emma and Tessa laughed as they walked out. She watched them walk down the stairs and groaned. “Hey, get that ass in the shower,” Maddox smiled as he walked back down the hall towards her. Harper quickly walked in the bathroom and started to shut the door and he stopped it. “Quick shower saves water,” Maddox pulled his shirt over his head and then went for hers. “No, Maddox!” “Grandmother Caroline said that we should take advantage of our youth, Harper. She is getting older and I wouldn’t want to disobey her,” Maddox shut the door behind them and locked it. “You’re so…oh God,” Harper said as he took her breast in his mouth.
Freshly showered Maddox and Harper walked down the stairs holding hands and laughing. “There you are! Did you make her cry again?” London put her hands on her hips. “No, London,” Harper smiled, “I get a little emotional now that I’m…” “Carrying my niece?” London clapped. Maddox looked up at Emma and smiled, “It’s a girl?” London looked around at everyone and looked as if she was about to cry. Harper smiled and knelt down, “Am I having a girl?” Tears started to roll down her face. “I knew it!” Maddox beamed and picked Harper up and twirled her around. “Maddox,” Harper whispered and nodded towards London. “London, don’t you dare cry,” Maddox grabbed her hand. “I ruined it. The cupcakes, the announcement, the…” “London we wanted you to be the one to tell us and you did. Just in a little different way than you planned, but it’s all the same. Thank you,” Harper hugged her and Maddox joined them. London closed her eyes and hugged them. She smiled, “Will you still eat the cupcakes?” “Of course, I’ll even pretend to be surprised when I see the pink frosting,” Maddox smiled and kissed her cheek. London got the cupcakes out and handed them out to everyone. Harper looked at her sulking. She looked at Maddox who was carefully studying her face, his lip twisted up in the corner. She saw London peek up at him and she pushed her bottom lip out further and he chuckled. Harper elbowed him and whispered, “She’s already upset, Maddox.”
“Take a bite of your cupcake,” he sucked in his cheek so he would not smile. Harper took a bite and looked down, “Oh my God!” “And the Oscar goes to…” London laughed out loud so did everyone else, “It’s a BOY!!!” Harper looked at Maddox in shock, “Did you know?” Maddox hugged her, “I know London, little actress.” “We are having a boy, Maddox,” Harper felt tears spring to her eyes. “We are,” Maddox laughed and kissed her. “I hope he looks like you,” Harper laughed as he picked her up and spun her around. “Of course he will,” Maddox rolled his eyes and laughed out loud. “Cocky,” Harper giggled. “Don’t say that word to me,” Harper laughed as he kissed her neck.
Collin walked down the stairs dressed in jeans and deep red sweater. He saw Tessa looking out the window. He walked up and wrapped his arms around her and smelled her hair, “Do you know how beautiful you are?” Tessa held his arms tightly around her, “No, could you tell me?” He laughed as he kissed her neck, “More beautiful every day.” “Have you been drinking?” Tessa laughed. Collin laughed, “No, Tessa.” Tessa turned and looked up at her husband, “You make me that way.” He smiled and closed his eyes, “You made me this way. When I look at Maddox I remember how hard it was to feel comfortable in my own skin, until the day I knocked on that door.” “You told me I was parked in your parking spot,” Tessa huffed. “I had to say something,” Collin had a shy smile on his face, “Trust me, that may have been why I knocked on your door that day but when you opened it…I still feel that way sometimes.” Tessa looked concerned, “I don’t understand.” “I’m in awe of you, always have been,” Collin smiled and kissed her, “You changed my entire world that day. It still makes me crazy to think that if I had run, like I wanted to, I would never had known love. I would never have had children, or…my God, Tessa, I’m going to be a grandfather.” Tessa laughed, “My life would have been pretty miserable without you. We had no choice anyways. We were supposed to be together. It was already in the cards.” “Thank God,” they both said and smiled. After a kiss Collin stepped back and took a deep breath, “I better get the Hines boys moving.” “Yes. Harper looks like a ball of stress,” Tessa nodded to the family room.
“I’ll be back in a few hours, Sweetness,” Maddox stood behind her rubbing her belly as he kissed her neck. “Our first Christmas together. Do you have any idea how that feels to me, Harper?” She shook her head yes, “I know exactly how it feels, I feel the same. Maddox, I know you have to do this, I just don’t like it.” Maddox smiled and turned her to face him, “Me either but its necessary. I’m going to tell them I’m done.”
“Maddox, I told you that you shouldn’t…” “If I get the itch, I do it with Dad’s band okay?” Harper smiled, “I get to watch you on stage?” “You can watch me anywhere I am Harper, you’re going to be my wife, mine forever,” he kissed her, “and ever,” he kissed her again, “and ever.” Harper was smiling. He was happy he had made her smile and she knew it. “You’re a beautiful soul, Maddox,” Harper grabbed his hair with both hands and pulled him towards her. Maddox’s jaw flexed and he grabbed her hands. He pushed one against his face and held the other to his heart, “You showed me I could be.” Harper smiled and kissed him. “You two able to take a break for a bit?” Brody chuckled behind them. “Yes,” Harper kissed him again. “So we’re good? No crazy, pissed off, biting…” Harper pushed Maddox and laughed, “Keep it up and it may be that way.” Maddox laughed, “I love you.” “I love you,” Harper hugged him and stepped back, “Now go… and please hurry.” “I’ll be as quick as I possibly can,” Maddox grabbed her hand, “Walk me out?” “No, just go alright?” Harper whispered. “Okay if that’s what you want,” Maddox looked down into her eyes. She shook her head yes. Maddox gave her another swift kiss on the cheek and walked out the door behind his father and Collin. Harper held her hand to her heart once the door closed. She stood looking down and took several deep breaths and she started to cover her face, not wanting to sob. Her emotions were all over the place and she knew it was partially pregnancy related. She felt her baby, her son kick, and she put her hands on her belly. “Hey baby boy,” she smiled and rubbed her belly, “You have the greatest family. I cannot wait for you to meet your daddy. He loves you so much, he is going to love you even more once you’re here and …” Harper looked up and Maddox was standing in the doorway watching her. She looked shocked and he smiled as he walked towards her, “I forgot to ask you one thing.” Maddox took her hand and removed the ring, knelt down on one knee and kissed her belly, “Marry me?” “Of course,” she smiled, “Anytime, anyplace.” Maddox laughed as he stood up, “Glad to hear it. Be back soon.” He kissed her head, rubbed her, belly and was out the door quickly.
CHAPTER EIGHT Saying Goodbye Instead of driving for five hours Collin had his jet ready. A thirty minute flight was plenty of time for the three men to discuss what needed to be discussed. “I’m just going to tell them, I’m getting married, having a baby, and I’m done with the band. Whatever reaction she has she has,” Maddox looked out the window. “You are sure about the band?” “Yeah Dad.” Maddox smiled over at him, “Harper said the same thing.” “She loves you; she just wants you to be happy.” Collin sat forward and looked at him, studying his face. “I’m happiest when I’m with her. The music is fun; I can still play with Dad’s band. I don’t want her to worry, ever, that she is not more than enough. I want to see her smile and shine.” Maddox threw himself back against the seat, “God, she is beautiful.” “Is she enough, Maddox? What happens if you wake up some morning and the physical attraction to her is gone? What happens when…?” Maddox scowled at Collin, “Well then I would be dead, and in hell if she was not there, and I would be fucking stupid. Not going to happen. You really want to know Collin, what it is that makes me know she is it?” “If you care to share, of course I would,” Collin sat back. “Your daughter has been a huge pain in my ass since day one. Nosey, bossy, pushy, she threw tantrums, cried purposely to get her way, a real pain in the ass. That is never going to change and should probably push me right away from her. But I knew she loved me. She wasn’t trying to hurt me… she was trying to figure out her feelings and the emotions she was dealing with. I tried to leave it alone, to let her find all she deserved. I never thought I’d be good enough for her, I wanted better for her. I left her alone for a very long time. In New York, I was going to propose. I made a comment to the press that she was my wife. On our way back from our walk I told her I wanted to be like this forever and she laughed and said ‘That’s not going to happen’. I thought she didn’t want what I did. Then within minutes everything happened with Jazz. Believing Harper was not as in love as I was, and then believing she deserved more, I let her go. I was sure that’s what was best for her. Then New Jersey, what a fucking mess.” Maddox sat back and ran his hands through his hair and sat quietly for a moment and then laughed. “A beautiful mess as it turns out. From that point I knew she wanted me as badly as I did her, but again, she easily walked away. It took me a lot to figure it out. Thinking with a clear head, realizing what I was doing to dull my emotions, the accident, and my family. One phone call and I realized I had never fought for her. She needed me to, and I know that for the rest of my life I will fight for her, for her smile, her kiss, her love, her heart, and her soul. She is mine and I am hers always.” Collin smiled at him, “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.” Maddox chuckled. “You smile as you say that, but I know you’re being very serious. I know this because I’d do the same. I’ll love her, and protect her as fiercely as you have, Collin. I promise this with everything I am.” “You mentioned getting married very soon, when?” Collin asked. “New Year’s Eve, before midnight,” Maddox looked at his father. Brody smiled, “Does she know this?”
“No, but I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. And then this summer I thought we could have a reception of sorts at the Cape. I’m considering buying a house there as well,” Maddox sat back and looked at Collin. “If you are two hundred percent positive I will happily walk her down the aisle Maddox, I have known from the first time I saw you that you would be a good man,” Collin smiled. “Tessa knew from day one you and Harper had some connection. I trust what my wife feels. Brody, you good with this?” “Whatever makes him happy, he survived hell with hardly a scratch. I trust him and what he feels. If he screws up London will kill him,” Brody laughed and so did Maddox and Collin.
As they pulled in through the gates of Maddox’s home he grabbed his phone from his pocket. - Sweetness…I feel like I have been away from you for weeks. Fucked up how badly I need you all the time. I hope you know what you are in for…forever. Not to mention that I wish I hadn’t showered before leaving so I could smell you on my hands. Stop the eye rolling and no it’s not dirty Harper, insane but not dirty. We’re here-- text you before we fly out. I love you Harper Ann…MH Maddox sat back as the car drove up the driveway and his phone chimed. - No eye rolling going on here. Nipples aching for your touch, panties wet with desire, need you just as badly. BTW I will take you dirty anytime, anyplace. I love you Maddox…HA Maddox clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. - Please don’t reply like that again. Me getting hard sitting with our fathers right here is rather embarrassing. I’m not going to show you dirty tonight, Sweetness. I am going to show you filthy!..MH - Hmmm, Can. Not... Wait….<3 HA
Maddox walked through the double front doors and Jazz ran up to him and hugged him tightly. Maddox patted her back and stepped back and looked down at her. “I missed you!” Jazz beamed. Maddox smiled, “Is your brother here?” “Yes,” Jazz turned as Zach was walking out into the foyer smiling. “Welcome back, man,” Zach smiled and hugged Maddox. Zach shook Brody and Collin’s hand. They made their way to the dining room, “So, we are glad you came over. We kind of have some news,” Zach smiled at Jazz, “Claire and I would like to buy the house.” “Really?” Maddox was surprised. “Yep, our therapist says the stability is good,” Zach smiled at Claire. “He means my therapist,” her face turned red, “Zach, you don’t have to try making me look sane.” “That’s not what…” Zach started to panic. Maddox laughed, “Wow, things have changed for you two.” “What do you mean?” Claire asked. “Well you look happy,” Maddox smiled.
“Could be the medication,” Claire looked at Maddox emotionless and then started laughing, “Therapy has been good for me, you were right.” “You’re sure about the house?” Maddox said smiling at Claire but directing his question to Zach. “Yes, its home,” Zach looked lovingly at his sister. “Alright then,” Maddox looked back at Claire, “You look so happy.” “I finally think I am,” she sat back and looked at Brody and Collin and then at the ground. “You know they’re good people right?” Maddox leaned forward and looked at her. “It’s still kind of hard and saying it is equally as hard, but that is what I’m supposed to do, say how I feel,” Claire smiled up at him and then at Zach. Maddox had never seen Zach as relaxed and happy before, nor had he seen Claire that way. “So you’re alright with Claire now?” Maddox asked softly. “Yes, I actually am. That’s who I was before.” “Well we can’t stay long and …” “Where is Harper?” Claire asked. Maddox looked up, “Back at the house, preparing for Christmas.” “Right, that’s tomorrow,” Claire smiled softly, “So are you happy, and is she happy, Maddox?” “Yes, we are actually getting married soon,” Maddox studied her face for a reaction. Claire smiled, “That makes you happy.” It was a statement not a question. “That makes you very happy.” “Yes, it does. I want you to also know something else before you hear it from somewhere else,” Maddox looked cautiously up at her, “Harper and I are going to have a baby, very soon.” Claire forced a smile but he saw hurt in her eyes. “This is what I want Ja…Claire. This is what makes me happy,” Maddox continued to look at her. “Because of Harper? Or because you want a baby?” “Because of Harper. Because I love Harper and I always have,” Maddox smiled softly. “Well that’s good then. Will she let you stay in the band…with me?” Claire asked softly. “I wanted to talk to you about that as well, both of you. I want to talk to T about it too, but both of you first,” Maddox cleared his throat and sat up, “It was never my dream to be in a band. I am going to go back to school, to further my…” “Because of Harper?” Claire was a little less in control of her emotions, her voice shook slightly. “No, not because of Harper. I applied to schools before we even got back together, Claire. I told her last night and she was also concerned that I was doing this for her. She wants me to do what makes me happy,” Maddox’s tone was soft but authoritative and carried warning. “Oh,” Claire looked away. “Zach, this band will be as popular without me,” Maddox started. “Maddox, we got this alright?” Zach smiled gently. Claire stood up, “It was lovely seeing you again. I’m going to run out for some last minute gifts,” she held her hand out stopping Zach, “Alone, Zach.” “I have to grab a few things too,” Zach seemed nervous. “Zach, I’m doing fine. I’m just going out for a little while,” Claire raised her eyebrow. “My therapist told you I needed to be able to do some things for myself, so please.” Maddox stood up and hugged her, “I hope we can stay friends. I hope you’ll always know that I love you like family.” “Will she be okay with that?” there was a bite in Claire’s tone. “Yes Harper would want that,” Maddox pulled back and smiled, “Claire we are still us, but with a better understanding of who we actually are. Our decisions shape us not our past.” “You sound like my therapist,” Claire smiled and rolled her eyes.
“Well then… I like her,” Maddox smiled. “Him,” Claire corrected. “You trust him?” Maddox whispered. “I do,” she whispered back. “Is that where you’re going?” Maddox asked. “No, I’m going shopping,” Claire smirked, “Isn’t that what I said, in there, just two minutes ago?” Maddox smiled, “How often are you going to therapy?” “Why?” “You’ve changed, really changed. You even look healthier. Not as much makeup, your clothes…” “Cover me?” she smiled. “Yes,” Maddox laughed. “I want what you have, Maddox. Each day I realize I might just be able to have it.” “Alright then. Merry Christmas, Claire,” Maddox smiled. “Merry Christmas, Maddox,” Claire looked at him and then away, “See you sometime.” She started walking away and looked back. Her face showed a little more sadness than it had but still Maddox was sure she was going to be alright.
Zach and Brody were talking when Maddox came back in the room. Collin was on the phone and smiling, Maddox assumed it was Tessa. He sat next to Brody and Zach smiled, “You are getting married and going to be a dad.” “I am,” Maddox beamed. “I feel so blessed. My family, the girl I love, a child on the way. Jazz…” “Claire,” Zach corrected, and Maddox laughed. “She seems like she’s doing so good.” “She is, it’s crazy but the day you stormed out of here, it was like a switch flipped. Like she understood. I’d love to take all the credit, but I can honestly say that if you had not left, nothing would have changed. I tried to get her to leave here and get a place with me. She refused, which scared the hell out of me. She insisted it was because this was home, the only real home she had ever had. I didn’t believe her and that’s when she surprised me and suggested therapy. We went together every day for a week. That was the only time we talked about the past, when we were here it was quiet and calm. We talked about music. One day she asked me about my work outside of music. I told her that I had looked for Claire all of my adult life. Talking about my sister, who I loved, like it wasn’t the girl that was sitting next to me. I fucking cried and she hugged me, she held me so God damn tight and trembled as she broke down. After a while she looked up at me, her eyes were no different than the memories of her that have haunted me for years. ‘You found her Zach, she is here, right here, and she is so sorry she has hurt you when all you have done is loved her. She is here Zach, I’m Claire and I want to say thank you for loving me enough to look for me as long as you have’. Well that was it, from then she was Claire, my baby sister. She stopped dying her hair and wearing all that black makeup. She came back that day.” Zach looked down with tears in his eyes, “I was an ass to you, Maddox. I never realized how strong you actually were until the day you walked out of here. You saved her that day. You gave me back my baby sister, you gave me back Claire.” Maddox’s eyes were red when he looked up at Zach and he shook his head, “She saved me a very long time ago. I owed her.” “You have more than paid back that debt, Maddox. I’ll forever be grateful to you and so will all the parents of the kids you helped identify. You’re a fucking hero, and a rock star man,” Zach wiped a tear away. “You’re also a forever friend, please know that anything you ever need, anything I can do for you, I
will do.” “You and T are like brothers to me Zach, I’ve got your back always, too,” Maddox stood and looked around. “Let me pack this all up for you,” Zach watched Maddox look at everything in the room. “You know what; I don’t want any of it. I want a fresh start with the future Mrs. Hines, whatever you guys don’t want, donate it to London’s Child.” “Oh shit, that reminds me, we talked about a benefit concert for them. Claire has taken a huge interest in that specific charity. What do you say?” Zach smiled. “I’m in, when is it?” Brody smiled. “I’ll text you the details,” Zach smiled. “Well, I hope you and Claire have an amazing Christmas, Zach,” Brody hugged him. “To you and yours as well,” Zach smiled. “Hey Zach, I’m going to surprise Harper on New Year’s Eve with a little impromptu wedding,” Maddox laughed, “Just family, but in the Spring or Summer, or whenever she decides we will have a proper wedding. I would like you to be there.” Zach smiled and shook his head in agreement. Maddox watched Brody and Collin get in the car. “One favor, find out all you can about Blake, I don’t trust him,” Maddox looked at Zach. “No explanation needed. I’ll get on it now.”
Maddox smiled as he got in the back of the black town car with Brody and Collin. “That is where you bought the engagement ring, huh?” Brody patted his knee. “Yes, such an interesting little shop, and they design everything in house,” Maddox looked out the window as they sped past the little shops on the road. “How did you know about it?” Brody smiled. “Just saw it while I was thinking of Harper. I walked in and knew this was where I had to buy the ring,” Maddox laughed, “Why?” “I bought Emma’s there. Same thing, drawn to it,” Brody laughed. “You are serious?” Collin asked shocked. “I am,” Brody smiled. “Well Tessa would take that as a sign from God above,” Collin laughed. “I would have to agree,” Maddox whispered as he looked out the window.
They sat on the small eight passenger plane waiting for take-off, and Maddox grabbed his phone from his wool jacket pocket. - Coming home to you Sweetness and I will never leave you again. Yours Always…MH The captain asked that all electronic devices be shut down and the plane began to taxi down the runway. Maddox leaned back feeling more at ease than he had since he could remember. Everything was good. Everyone he cared about was happy or at least content. He sat back and for the first time fell asleep on a plane.
Brody felt an overwhelming amount of joy as he watched his son smile in his sleep. He looked over at Collin, “I’ve waited for that for years.” “I’m so glad you didn’t lose faith. You have molded him-- whether or not you can take that credit is up to you, but it’s the truth, Brody. He watches you with Emma and the girls and now that the Jazz situation has been handled, I have no doubt there is no other man I would want Harper to spend the rest of her life with.”
The plane touched down in Liverpool and Maddox woke up. He looked out the window and smiled. “We are back,” Brody patted him on the shoulder. “It’s Christmas Eve,” Maddox smiled. Collin laughed, “You like Christmas, huh?” “I do, and this Christmas is going to be the best ever, well next Christmas with my son will probably top this one,” Maddox stood up and grabbed his phone. - Just landed cannot wait to see you…Maddox
Brody climbed into the driver’s seat of the car and Collin and Maddox got in. Collin turned on his phone and saw the missed calls from his sons and then a message - 911…Matthew “How far are we from your place Hines?” Collin tried to steady his voice. “Ten minutes,” Brody answered. “Make it two, we have a problem,” Collin’s voice shook. “What is it?” Maddox leaned forward in the backseat. “I’m calling Matthew now to find out,” Collin dialed his phone. “Where are you,” Matthew tried to control the rage in his voice. “Matthew, what’s going on?” Collin tried to speak calmly. “Dad, get here NOW, get Tomas here, get…” “Alright Matthew, I need to know what is going on,” Collin’s voice was a little less steady as he took deep breaths. “Harper, Lexi, and London are gone. We came back from shopping and Emma and Mom had been attacked…” “What do you mean, Matthew?” “Someone took them; all three of them are fucking gone!” “Did you call the police?” “Yes they’re here now, but they are not moving that entirely fast Dad,” Collin heard Matthew’s voice break. “We’ll be there in five minutes, Matthew. Are Emma and your mother alright?” Brody’s head turned towards Collin and Collin mouthed DRIVE. “They’re a mess Dad, beat up and scared to death,” Matthew whispered. “Alright Matthew I need to make some calls, we’ll be there soon,” Collin looked at Brody and then back at Maddox, “Someone attacked Emma and Tessa…” “Oh my God! Are they…”
“And they took Harper, London, and Lexington.” No one said a word and Brody hammered the gas pedal.
They pulled in through the gates and jumped out of the car. There were police cars and paramedics everywhere. Brody, Maddox, and Collin ran towards the house and were immediately stopped. “This is my fucking house you idiot, get your fucking hands…” “We need to ask you a few questions,” one of the officers said stopping Brody, “Where have you been for the past three hours?” Brody pushed the officer, “Get your fucking hands off of me.” Collin grabbed Brody, “We were in London and then on a plane, do your job and let us by.” Maddox pushed past them and ran into the house, he saw Emma and Tessa clinging to each other crying. Matthew, CJ, Caroline, Maggie, Henry, and John all stood around them. He ran past the police and up the stairs. One of the officers grabbed for him to stop him and he pulled away. He heard nothing they said as he went into each room looking in closets and under beds. Brody and Collin followed him and watched him flip mattresses and searching frantically. “Maddox.” Brody grabbed him and held him as he shook. “Let go, Dad,” Maddox pulled free and ran down the stairs. He ran to Emma, “What happened, Mom?” Emma looked up at him and he gasped. Her eye was swollen shut and her lip was split. He looked at Tessa who looked the same. Collin and Brody came into the room and knelt in front of their wives who sobbed as they clung to their husbands. Maddox looked around and saw CJ looking at him. His saw people talking, but he couldn’t hear them, he walked into the kitchen and saw a bottle of wine. His heart, he could hear his heart beating faster. He picked up the wine bottle and looked at it. He heard them talking, Three hours…APB…three men…hooded…London screamed and ran…Tessa lunged…Emma fought… Harper… Maddox looked back at the bottle and CJ walked into the room, “We’ll find them, Maddox.” Maddox looked at him and back at the wine bottle. He pushed through the swarms of people and opened the door to the wine cellar, his heart beat faster as he walked down the stairs. He noticed the wine rack was pulled out. He ran to it and pulled it away and opened the door to the tunnel that had been sealed off years ago. He grabbed his phone to light up the room and shined it around. London sat in the corner covering Lexington’s mouth, both shaking and looking terrified. “Oh my God,” Maddox gasped and ran to them. London let out an ear piecing cry and he grabbed her and Lexington and held them tightly, “Shh, shhh,” Maddox whispered as he held them. “Maddox,” London cried. Maddox held them as he looked around for Harper. “London, is Harper in here with you?” “No Maddox, they hurt Mommy and Tessa and Harper,” London cried. “Listen, there are a lot of people upstairs worried about you two. Your Mommy is alright okay? Just beat up a little,” Maddox held her tighter, “Lexington are you okay?”
“No,” her lip quivered, “I want to go back in there Maddox, please.” “Dad is here, Collin is here and a lot of police officers are here too. We need to let them know you’re both okay so that we can find Harper, alright Lexi?” Maddox’s voice cracked when he said Harper’s name. Maddox held both girls as he walked up the stairs, “You’re both going to be fine, alright? Dad will make sure of it.” Maddox walked into the room and Emma looked up and cried out loud Brody, helped her to stand up and Maddox walked towards them. The police swarmed around them, again Maddox heard nothing they said-- he just knew his sisters were alright and Harper was not. He looked towards Tessa and their eyes locked. He let Brody and Emma have the girls and walked towards her, “She wasn’t with them.” “They took her, Maddox,” Tessa cried, “I tried to stop them and they took my little girl.” Maddox hugged her as she cried, “I promise I’ll find her and bring her back to you Tessa. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll bring Harper home.” Maddox opened his eyes and saw Collin looking at him. He watched the uniformed officers and the detectives talking. He looked at Brody holding Emma and the girls as they cried. He watched Harper’s brothers trying to hold Tessa together. Both Caroline and Maggie sat with their heads together as Maggie softly spoke; she appeared to be praying. John and Henry were both trying to hear what the detectives were saying. Maddox’s eyes went back to Collin, he took a deep breath and walked towards him. “We have to find her,” Maddox looked him in the eyes. “We will,” Collin answered back. “Surveillance footage, has anyone gone through it?” Maddox scowled. “I don’t think so…Maddox where are you going?” Collin followed him into the hallway. “Zach, he knows everything about this system. I know some, and Dad seems…” “I’m here Maddox, I am right here,” Brody hugged him, “Call Zach, have him come now. Collin, can we get the plane to him?” “Of course,” Collin closed his eyes. “But what about Claire…” Maddox began, “I will call T, he can, no Surge but he is…FUCK!” Maddox punched the wall. “Maddox, you’ve held your shit together for the past fifteen minutes…” Collin began. “Fifteen minutes! It’s only been fifteen minutes!” Brody grabbed him and shook him, “That’s a good thing, Maddox. You found your sisters in that amount of time, we’ll find Harper.” “Three hours…it’s been three fucking hours!” Maddox screamed. “I have called Tomas, have you called Clive?” Collin asked and Brody shook his head yes, “Maddox call Zach, and get Surge here and do it now.” Maddox walked outside and took a deep breath and dialed his phone, “Zach, I need your help.” “Maddox what’s going on?” Zach asked nervously. Maddox gave him the condensed version and added, “I can get T…” “Maddox,” Zach whispered, “Claire hasn’t come back, and she isn’t answering her phone.” “Have you looked for her?” “Yes, everywhere, she is gone.” “Do you think…?” Maddox began. “Do you?” “No, no I don’t, she was fine, she was good, she wouldn’t…”
“As soon as the cops know Maddox, they’ll write it off, no one else will be suspected. I have some friends going over street cameras now. I can’t leave here. Keep that phone charged, anything I think of, any advice I can give, anything I can do to help you bring Harper home I will do, Maddox. I need the same from you, any information, leads, anything-- this can’t be a coincidence. I also don’t think Claire has anything to do with it. She loves you and wants you to be happy.” Maddox took a deep breath, “I’ll call you every hour.” “More, if you need to.”
Maddox looked at Collin and then looked quickly away. He didn’t want them to know anything if it could be helped. He saw Collin walk to the officer holding a cell phone, Harper’s phone. He walked quickly to them, “May I see it, please?” Maddox saw the last text he’d sent, it was unread. He thumbed through the texts and saw Blake had sent one to her that she did not reply to. “Find Blake,” he sneered at Collin. “If there are any leads, we need to handle them,” the officer looked at Maddox. “What have you done so far?” Maddox yelled at him. “We have taken prints, secured and searched the property…” “Failing to find two scared little girls in the fucking process! If you think we’re going to allow you to FUCK this up…” Collin put his hand on Maddox’s shoulder, “Let them do what they need to, Maddox.” “I need the phone, Mr. Hines,” the officer put his hand out. “Go fuck yourself!” “Maddox, give him the phone,” Collin raised his eyebrow. “They are going to fuck this up mark my words,” Maddox growled, “Do you have kids officer?” “Yes I do…” “If my fiancée, who is carrying my child, does not come home, I will fucking tear…” Collin grabbed Maddox and dragged him away, “Do you want to end up in jail Maddox?!” “No I want them to do their fucking job! I want her home, I want her safe, and in my arms. I want them to find her!” Maddox screamed into the clouds and walked away, he felt his emotions swell up inside his chest, and it burned. The heat crept to his throat as he started walking down the driveway, away from the swarm of people. He made it to the gate and saw that news crews were starting to show up. He turned to walk back to the house, and rage overtook him. Maddox stormed towards them and he heard Brody and Collin yelling behind him. He didn’t stop; he walked to the gate and pushed the button. Camera’s flashed and reporters fired questions at him. Collin ran and stood in front of him, “I want her home just as much as you do, Maddox. I need my little girl home DAMN IT! This is NOT the way to handle this!” Brody stopped the reporters from coming through the gate and shut it. He grabbed Maddox and started walking towards the house. He looked back and saw Collin standing glaring at the gate. He let go of Maddox and walked back towards Collin, “Let’s go Collin.” “No, No, NO!” Collin’s voice echoed through the air. He walked towards the gate, “My name is Collin Abraham. My daughter Harper was taken by three men in a black Volkswagen van approximately three hours and thirty minutes ago. She’s my little girl.
Anyone with information leading to her safe return …I beg you to call the police department. She has long wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. She is five foot eight and weighs about a hundred and thirty pounds. She has...” Collin dug for his wallet, “FUCK!” Maddox stood beside him and held up his phone, “Zoom in on this. Harper is...fucking beautiful, perfect, and the kindest gentlest person I have ever met. She’s my fiancée,” Maddox’s voice broke. “WHEN she is returned, she will be returning to people who love her and will never let this happen to her again. I love you, Sweetness, if you can hear me, I love you so much.” Maddox stopped and cleared his voice, “I’m offering a two million dollar reward for her safe return, or information leading to her safe return. To whoever has my…Harper-- you need to understand that none of the three men you see here, all of whom love her, will stop until she is safely home. I fear nothing except a life without her. I’ll walk through hell to bring her home. Consider this your warning-- when I find out who has her I will rip everyone you love apart, limb by limb as you watch, just like my sisters watched their mother and Harper’s mother be brutalized by you sick fucks! I will not stop until she is safely home to me…” “Maddox let’s go,” Brody whispered. “LET. HER. GO, that is your final warning,” Maddox turned and walked away with Collin and Brody. “Wait,” Maddox stopped and nodded to the police, “I need to tell you something I don’t want those fuckers to know.” Collin pulled her SIM card from his pocket, “I’m not as trusting in them as you think Maddox, but they need to think we are.” “Claire never came home, she’s missing as well. Zach is looking into it but he thinks that if they…” “If they think it’s her, they won’t look into any other suspects,” Collin said in agreement. “Blake-- he called and texted her several times today, I want to talk to that…” “You can Maddox but he wouldn’t hurt her,” Collin scowled down at the ground. “I don’t buy it; there is something about him that I don’t trust. I’m sure you did all sorts of background checks on him but I need to know…” “Maddox, he is out of town, back in the United States with his family for Christmas,” Collin looked him in the eye, “I’ve already spoken to him, he said he wanted to wish her a Merry Christmas and he seems to be…” “BULLSHIT! You’re holding something back Collin, I can…” “Maddox, he wants her safely returned as much as you do,” Brody tried to calm him. “We also need to be prepared, in case…” “NO! She’ll be coming home, she’s alive and…” “How do you know that, Maddox?” Collin had tears forming in his eyes. “I’m still breathing; if she were gone, my fucking heart would’ve stopped. If she were gone, I’d be gone, too.”
CHAPTER NINE Darkness Harper woke to darkness. Her head was heavy and her body was aching. All she knew was that she was in a vehicle, and in pain. Harper’s hands were bound in front of her and she rubbed her belly and prayed that her little boy was alright. I’m not afraid for myself, but I’ll fight to keep him safe, no matter what it takes… I will keep him safe, Maddox and my baby safe. She reminded herself over and over of this. She felt tears dripping down her face and she took a deep breath and the hood stuck to her mouth, she began to panic, unable to raise her arms, she cried out. She jumped when she felt someone touch her. “Shh, shh, shh,” she heard a soft voice beside her and she began to shake. “Who’s there,” Harper whispered, “Mom, mom is that…” “Shh, shh, shh,” the voice said again. “Please, please I beg you, let me go…” “Shh, shh, shh.” Harper’s body began to shake and the vehicle in which she was in slowed down and turned a sharp left. She fell into the person next to her, and winced at the contact. She sobbed silently as the vehicle bounced down the bumpy road. Harper had no idea what happened after she was hooded and dragged from the Hines estate but when she closed her eyes she could see every detail of what happened in the house. Harper was outside in the back with the girls collecting pine cones to make a wreath. Everyone had left to go into town to grab some last minute Christmas gifts except Emma, Tessa, Harper, Lexi, and London. Harper was laughing when she heard screaming from inside the house. She ran to the kitchen door and looked inside and saw Tessa being slapped across the face by a man with a ski mask on. She turned and saw London holding her hand over Lexington’s mouth trying to stop the screams from escaping Lexington’s lungs. Harper moved them quickly from the door, “Is there a really safe place here to hide London?” With tears running down her face she shook her head yes, “Alright, you follow me, Lexington you can’t cry; promise me you won’t make a peep alright.” Shaking, Lexington shook her head yes. “Good… listen—we’re going to sneak in and no matter what happens you run and get to a safe place. I’m going to help them okay?” Both girls shook their heads yes and then they heard Emma scream in pain, “I need to help them, girls; you just get to a safe place. Everyone’ll be back soon and I’ll make sure you’re safe. I love you both so much now stay behind me and I’m going to make sure your Mommy, and mine get help.” Harper walked into the house with the girls behind her, and London pointed to the cellar door, “Go,” Harper mouthed. Emma fell through the door and screamed, “NO!” London screamed, alerting the intruders that they were there, Harper emerged from the hall after closing the door to the cellar screaming to divert the attacker’s attention. She ran from them and one dove and grabbed her foot causing her to land hard on the floor. She kicked at the man as he pulled her effortlessly towards him. Tessa jumped at him, bashing him in the head with a vase and he swatted her off
as if she were a fly. Tessa landed against the wall and Harper ran to her. She was unconscious. Emma was frantically holding onto the leg of a bureau as the other man was trying to pull her away from it. She kicked him hard in the face and she pulled herself up. Blood was gushing from her mouth as she opened a drawer and grabbed a gun. The man tackled her, causing her to smash her head into the side of the bureau knocking her unconscious. The other man was pulling rope from his back pocket and as Harper stood to run, he grabbed for her and she kicked him with all her might between the legs. He bent over and she attempted to run past him. He grabbed her hair, jerking her backwards and backhanded her across the face. After that… she remembered nothing. The vehicle turned left again and she fell, her body was too weak and in pain to hold herself up. The person beside her placed their arms over her body keeping her on her side softly whispering “Shh, shh, shhh.” Harper couldn’t gather the strength to sit up, she was strangely comforted by the voice and stayed where she was, trying to allow her body to relax so that when it came time to fight she could. The vehicle stopped and she heard a soft voice, “Sit up, don’t let them see you weak and don’t you fight them-- not yet.” She heard a door open and someone grabbed her bound hands and pulled her out of the vehicle. Unable to get her feet under her she fell to the ground on her stomach and was dragged across what she assumed was rock. She twisted her body to the side hoping to protect her stomach and the attacker jerked her hard so that she fell again and yelled out in pain. She heard soft groans from another person who sounded like they too were being dragged. A door squeaked, and she was now on wood. Her arms were released and she dropped to the ground. She heard the whimpers of the other person, a female she was sure, but not her Mom and not Emma. Oh God, please let the girls be safe, she screamed in her head. The hood was pulled off of her and she kept her eyes closed until she heard footsteps leading away from her, a door opened then shut, and she heard the click of what she assumed was a lock. Harper opened her eyes, the room was dark she gave her eyes time to adjust and rolled to her back. After a few minutes she heard a vehicle’s tires crunching down the gravel driveway. She looked around the room that she lay in the middle of, her eyes were better adjusted but it was pitch black. She needed water, she needed to use the bathroom, and she needed to get the hell out of here. “Hello?” she whispered. “Shh,” she heard from behind her. “Who’s there?” “Keep quiet,” the female voice with a thick British accent whispered. “Where are you?” “The room behind you, keep quiet please,” the voice whispered. “I have to go to the bathroom,” Harper whispered as she scooted across the wooden floor on her bottom. “You can’t, you must wait, you must keep quiet,” she whispered. “Do I know you?” “I don’t think so,” the voice whispered, “But you’re going to get us both killed if you don’t keep quiet. Try to sleep.” Harper leaned against the wall, shaking and scared. She closed her eyes and prayed silently.
“Get up,” he said as he kicked her foot.
Harper jumped and opened her eyes and looked around. It was dawn; there was light coming from a small rectangular window, the only one in the dark room. She tried to scramble to her feet and fell. The man grabbed her under the arm and hoisted her up. “I need to use a bathroom,” Harper could barely find her voice. Her throat was so dry. “There isn’t one. You can piss over there,” the man pointed to the corner where a metal pan sat. Harper didn’t look at him, if she did not he may let her go knowing she couldn’t identify him. “Could you please undo my hands, I promise I won’t…” “No,” his voice was dark and deep. “But I won’t be able to…” Harper gasped when he reached around from behind her and unbuttoned her pants. He reached down and slowly unzipped them. She heard him smell her hair as he did and his breath became rigid. She stepped forward and he pulled her back tightly against him, she could feel him hard against her back, “Oh God please don’t…” His laugh was deep and full of malice, she felt his hand run up her stomach and then she cried out, “No.” He looked down and saw liquid running down onto his shoe. He pushed her hard into the wall, “Disgusting whore!” He lunged at her and she pulled her knees protectively into her chest and buried her head as she shook, “Please, oh God please don’t hurt me.” He kicked her hard in the side and she cried out loud. “HEY!” the voice from behind the door yelled, “I have to use the bathroom.” “Shut up bitch,” He snapped as he flung the door open. Harper heard footsteps and then they stopped, “Could you either untie me or help me out?” “You going to piss on me?” “Not if you hurry up,” the voice was soft and sweet. Harper peeked out from under her arm and saw two little feet between two large black boots all pointing towards her. “Could you hold the dress up while I go?” the voice was soft. She heard him growl and pull her against him. “Wow,” the girl whispered. She heard the man groan and then the girl moaned softly. “Please untie me, I won’t try anything…you don’t want me to,” the girl whispered softly. “Fine, you run I’ll kill you,” he growled. “I won’t run,” Harper saw her turn towards the man, “Thank you.” She heard the girl use the bathroom and then a vehicle crunching the gravel outside. “Hey you should tie me back up, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble,” the voice said sweetly. He growled in response. She looked up at him and whispered, “Please don’t let him hurt me.” Harper looked up and saw the man looking curiously at the girl, “Quiet down!” Harper looked away before he could see her look at him. He had shoulder length greasy looking black hair, approximately five foot ten and was built. His eyes were dark and he had a scar on his left cheek. The door opened, Harper could see two more sets of feet walk through the door. One set was tan work boots, the other had leather shiny dress shoes. “We move tonight, when we’re out of England we take care of them.” Harper looked up, “You’re going to kill us?” “You shut the fuck up,” her captor was about to kick her and the tall sandy brown haired man dressed
nicely stopped him. He squatted down, “Harper Abraham.” His smile was full of disgust and she spit in his face. The goon from earlier went to grab her and the man stopped him. He took a crisp white handkerchief from a pocket inside his jacket and wiped his mouth. “I am not going to harm a hair on your precious little head,” he glared at her. “Why, why are you doing this? You don’t have to kill us, my Dad…my Dad has money, he will pay you whatever you want,” Harper began to shake. “Collin Abraham, ex-Navy, Doctor, and humanitarian of the year? Hmmm, I don’t think so,” he laughed maliciously. “My boyfriend he will…” “Maddox Hines,” he laughed again and looked back at the girl. “Come sit, pet,” he patted the floor next to him. “Have you two met? You have a lot in common, Claire, Harper, Harper, Claire.” “You did this!” Harper screamed, “YOU DID THIS!” Claire shook her head back and forth looking at the ground. “Why! TELL me why, you piece of shit! What have I done…Oh God,” Harper held her stomach, “Oh God… please?” “No faking sick here… my dear niece, I won’t take you to the doctor,” he laughed and stood up. “What did you call me?” Harper cried out in pain and the man knelt in front of her again. “Harper, what a silly ridiculous little name. Take a good look at me, who do I look like?” “Satan, that’s who you look, ouch, ouch, ouch,” Harper bent forward. “Do I look like your perfect father Harper? Do I hold any resemblance to my brother?”
CHAPTER TEN Frantic Maddox walked down the stairs and looked at Brody as he cradled Emma, stroking her hair as she cried. Her eyes were still swollen shut and the left side of her face was a deep purple. Maddox could see the storm brewing inside of Brody; it mirrored the one inside of him. The girls both clung to him all evening, he knew it was only because he was the one who found them. Had they not needed him, he knew he would fall apart. Tessa was sitting on the couch with John and Caroline looking just like Emma, beaten and in intense physical pain. Through her eyes he could see the deep despair; she was being torn apart just like he was. He walked over to her and knelt before her, “She’s out there Tessa—she’s alive. I promise you I’ll find her. I won’t stop looking until I’ve brought her back to you.” Tessa grabbed him and sobbed into his shoulder, “What if…what if…” “She is alive, I feel it. So do you Tessa, close your eyes and see her. Her heart is beating and she is scared but she knows we will find her,” Maddox was doing everything he could to stay strong. It was killing him to sit and wait. Maddox’s phone chimed. - Call me as soon as you can…Z
Collin slammed down the phone and walked outside to clear his head. It had been less than twelve hours since his daughter was taken. The police had come up with nothing and his team was hitting walls every time they turned around. His baby had gone missing. He looked behind him and his chest tightened when he looked at his wife, the woman he loved more than anything, broken and beaten trying to protect their baby. Tears pricked his eyes, he had been so strong, and tried to stay objective and think of this as just another recovery mission, but it was his daughter. The little girl who he taught to ride a bike, and who tried to teach him to dance. He had taught all three of his children to protect themselves but he pushed Harper the hardest. Drilling her on how to react in crisis. He closed his eyes remembering when she was almost ready to enter kindergarten, he spent the afternoon teaching her self-defense moves and how to react in case something were to happen at school. “Like what Daddy?” her little voice squeaked. “Like…” “Like your crazy Daddy misses you so much he tries to bust in and take you home when you are having too much fun with your new friends, and Liam,” Tessa interrupted. Harper laughed as Tessa tickled her until she was rolling on the ground. “I’m gonna pee!” she laughed. “Well go go go” Tessa laughed. “Like a bear Mommy?” Harper danced around holding herself. “Sure, go go go!” When Harper was behind the tree peeing Tessa looked at Collin, “You’re going to scare her.”
“I’m scared Tessa, she’s four years old. The boys…” “Went to school and are just fine,” Tessa softly scolded him. “I don’t like it; she should stay home until…” “She is a freaking trained SEAL?” “It’s not funny, Tessa, it pisses me off, she is…” “I peed! I didn’t get any on me,” Harper turned around and shook her little butt at them and Tessa laughed. Harper turned and looked at them, she noticed Collin’s scowl, “Daddy if bad guys come in with guns I will kick them in the ding- ding and then play dead like this,” Harper threw herself on the ground and closed her eyes and let her tongue hang out. “That’s my little soldier,” Collin laughed and picked her up and swung her in a circle. Tessa smiled politely and walked away. Collin stood with his shoulders slumped as tears rolled down his cheek. He squatted down on the ground and let his tears fall. He heard someone behind him and quickly wiped his face and stood. Tessa walked in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist and held him, “I’m so sorry, beautiful.” “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” “Are you feeling alright physically?” “I’m numb everywhere. Have you heard anything?” “No, not one damn thing. Blake called, he said he’s coming,” Collin looked down at his wife. “Maddox, he isn’t going to…” “I’m sure Maddox will be alright with more help, Tessa. He knows how she feels about him,” Collin closed his eyes, “She looks at him the same way you looked at me.” “Look, the same way I look at you still, Collin,” Tessa closed her eyes. “I know Tessa. God I love you,” he held her closer. “What were you thinking about when I came out?” “Harper of course, the day before she went…” “To kindergarten?” “Yeah.” “I owe you an apology now, don’t I?” Tessa smiled sadly up at him. “When I bring her back you can make up for it,” Collin forced a smile. “Make up for it?” Tessa tried to look confused. “You didn’t touch me for four days,” Collin raised his eyebrow at her; “You slept in her room.” “I missed her while she was at school.” Collin’s smile finally touched his eyes, “Okay I won’t argue with that…not now anyway.” Tears gathered in his eyes and Tessa could not stop hers from rising. “I’ll find her beautiful. You know I will,” Collin kissed her cheek carefully. Tessa shook her head in agreement. “I’m going to talk to Brody and Maddox. Then I’ll call Tomas and if I have nothing still I’m going to take off and find her and bring her back to you,” Collin kissed her nose. “To all of us.” Tessa cried softly into her husband’s chest.
They sat in the living room and Maddox walked in and sat across from Collin. “I need to tell you something but you need to listen. I know in my heart that she had nothing to do with Harper’s disappearance,” Maddox said looking Collin in the eye. “Claire still has not returned. Zach
made calls and found credit card purchases at a few stores near the London house. I talked to him twenty minutes ago. Three stores where the card was reportedly used do not show her using them. The transactions are date and time stamped and the video footage shows a man using the cards. The same man at each store. He knew what he was doing because he avoided looking into the cameras, leading us to believe this is not some random pick pocket who stole a card to use on Christmas Eve. It was not questioned by the store employees because Zach is also an authorized card user. He is looking at street camera footage now. Again I don’t believe she did it. Zach has not reported her missing because he believes it will mess with the investigation of Harper’s disappearance.” Maddox looked up at Collin, “Same thing I said earlier. Whoever took Harper, took her as well. Maddox, I know you want her back as much as I do. You need to think really hard about whom it is that would do this to you.” “I have thought this whole time about it. Anyone who hates my family is…well dead. I can come up with nothing. You do need to take into consideration my suspicions about…” Clive cleared his throat as he entered the room, “Blake is here to see you.” Maddox jumped up and his eyes turned to ice. Brody grabbed his shoulder, “What the fuck is he doing here?” “He came to help Maddox. He saw her every day for three months; he can help fill in the blanks. Nothing else has come to light. I need a fucking united front,” Collin smashed his fist on the coffee table. “I don’t give a fuck about hurt feelings! I want my little girl home on Christmas with her family where she belongs!” “Collin,” Tessa whispered and held his hand tightly. “There’s something I have to tell you and I need you to believe I didn’t make the connection until your call,” Blake looked at Collin. “I’m going to help you bring her home. Maddox, I’m going to help you too. I know how much you love her and I know how much she loves you.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN Fight “No— you don’t look like my father, and you certainly don’t act like him,” Harper tried to free her hands. He laughed a malicious laugh and stood up, “We move tomorrow. I have something important to do to make sure this all ends up looking like a love triangle. Keep them quiet until you hear from me.” “If what you’re saying is true, why? Why would you do this to me, if your family…” “Blood means nothing to me,” he sneered at her and walked quickly towards her. Claire stood up in front of him, “Will you keep me…for your pet?” He looked her up and down, “We’ll see.” When he left the other man left too. Claire looked at their captor, “She smells can’t we give her a bath?” “No, there isn’t…” “I will wash her, you can stand watch.” Claire looked up at him and smiled seductively. “You’ll shower too. I’ll go grab supplies. There is an outside shower it’s going to be cold,” his eyes darkened and he looked her up and down slowly, “Get undressed—I’ll be back.” Claire smiled again at him, “Give us five minutes, you should probably untie me so I can…” “She stays tied up!” “How will I undress her?” Claire held her hands up and bit her lip. He looked at her suspiciously and then bent to untie her arms. Claire stroked his head softly and he peered up at her and she whispered, “I have wanted to touch your hair since I saw you.” He smiled and his eyes filled with desire, “You have four minutes.” “I’ll be waiting,” she whispered again. As soon as the door closed behind her she walked quickly to Harper. “Give me your hands.” “No way, they’re going to kill me either way, I won’t let you…” “Do you think I want any of this? Give me your hands, Harper,” she scowled, “I will do whatever I can to get out of here, alive. You need to think the same way.” Harper held up her hands as tears fell down her cheeks, “I’d rather die than allow them or…” Claire grabbed her face, “Stop crying, stop arguing, people like that eat little girls like you up. I cannot even remember a time when I…” Harper looked into her sad eyes, “You really had nothing to do with this?” “No, of course not,” Claire looked wounded as she untied her hands. She looked at the rope burns on Harper’s arms and closed her eyes, “Self-preservation Harper. That’s what my shrink calls this. I have not been with a man since…” “Maddox,” Harper said softly. “Technically, I was not with Maddox,” Claire stood up, “He helped me by leaving.” Claire began taking her clothes off and Harper saw the scars on her back and let out a quiet cry as she covered her mouth. Claire turned back and saw her. “It was a long time ago,” she whispered. “No one has the right to…” “I know that now. Harper, pull yourself together. When we shower do not fight me, but don’t act like you enjoy yourself either. I will do my best to not make you uncomfortable. Very mother-child like alright?
I don’t want this either, Harper. But I want to live and I want to bring you back to Maddox, he loves you.” Claire stood before her completely naked and Harper looked away, “Harper you need to take your clothes off.” Claire turned her back and Harper undressed. She looked at her stomach and the bruises all over her, she held her stomach and Claire turned around. Claire held her hand over Harper's, “Is the baby moving?” Tears fell from Harper’s face, “No, he isn’t.” “He?” Claire asked sadly. Harper shook her head yes and Claire wiped her eyes, “They don’t know you’re pregnant. You need to keep it that way as long as you can.” The door opened and Claire closed her eyes tightly. Harper knew Claire was as scared as she was but instead of fighting she was buying time. Harper pulled off her pants and noticed the blood. Her tears fell faster and her body shook. Claire opened her eyes and looked down. “It doesn’t mean…” Harper let out a quiet sob and Claire grabbed her face and pulled her into her, she kissed her cheek and whispered, “You need to stay strong, Harper. They will die for what they have done to you, and to Maddox. You have all the reason in the world to fight now. Follow my lead.” Claire pulled her face away from Harper’s and turned around, “She’s never been with a woman, and she’s scared. She’s menstruating and embarrassed. I’ve told her she needs to do as she’s told, and she has agreed,” Claire turned and looked at Harper whose tears fell down her face, “Isn’t that so, pet?” Harper shook her head yes as tears continued to fall. “What supplies do we have, Master?” Claire walked slowly and seductively towards him. “Master?” he looked at her and laughed nervously. “You’re in control here correct?” Claire said as she began to reach for him, he shook his head yes, “May I touch your hair, Master?” He shook his head yes and she did, “Will you be showering with us, Master?” “No,” he said as he swallowed hard. “I wish you would,” she pulled his hair lightly drawing his head down to her, “I would really like that.” He pulled away quickly and snapped, “What are you trying to pull?” Claire dropped to her knees cried, “I did not mean to offend you Master, please forgive me. It’s just my desire for you is so strong. I just want to please you.” Harper watched as the confusion left his face and heat fell upon it, “Stand up.” Claire stood, “Please forgive me I just…I had a Master before who liked to share me. He liked two of us at a time. I just was hopeful you wanted only me. I wanted to please you.” Harper looked down and briefly wondered if she was referring to Maddox, and then she was afraid Claire was involved. “I’m cold,” Harper’s voice shook. Claire took a towel and walked over and wrapped her in it. They walked outside shivering towards the back of the small wooden cabin. The water was running and cold, Claire saw her eyes narrow. “Don’t, just wash off. I won’t even touch you, our backs will be to him, hold your hand under mine,” Harper shook uncontrollably. “You’re going to be fine, open your mouth and drink Harper. I’ll wash your hair.” Harper stood under the shower head that was drizzling water and held her mouth open. She drank as Claire cupped water and dumped it over her head. Her teeth began to chatter and she began to quietly sob. “Shh, Harper, it’ll be alright. Think of a beach---Maddox talked about you teaching him to swim and
he said he loved the water. He never went to the water so I can safely assume it was you he loved. He loves you, Harper.” The words Claire spoke to her comforted her. She was by no means warm but the thought of Maddox brought her peace. “He must be so worried,” Harper whispered. “Okay now, turn and face me, do what I just did, wash my hair Harper. Of course he is worried,” Claire turned away from her, “Just like I did.” Harper looked at their captor and watched as desire poured from his eyes. “Disgusting fuck,” she whispered softly. Claire looked up at her, “Most men are, now pretend to kiss my neck.” “WHAT!” Harper scowled. “Either that or…” Harper did as she instructed and Claire put on a magnificent performance, moaning. “Enough! Get inside,” he snapped. “See Harper, didn’t even have to get dirty and I bet that fuck only lasts two minutes,” Claire rolled her eyes. “I won’t…” “You won’t have to, Harper,” Claire gave her a slight smile, “I’m used to this.” “No, you don’t have to either,” Harper said through clenched teeth. “We shall see, maybe he’s already blown his wad,” Claire’s lips pursed together and she smiled nervously.
CHAPTER TWELVE Break Maddox paced the floor, he hated that Blake was there and he hated that Harper wasn’t. “My mother was married for two years when I was three to a man named Harrison Dunlop. He was older and…” “The fucking point, Drake!” Maddox snapped. “I have a stepbrother his name is Atticus. He looks a lot like you, Collin. He is about five years younger than you. Harrison is ill and he asked me to visit him. We chatted about what my life has been like, school, work, that kind of thing. I showed him some photos on my phone, he saw you. He asked about you. Where you were from, what you did. He didn’t say much more. After…when I was no longer speaking to Harper daily, my mother visited. We discussed it. She called to speak to Harrison, Atticus answered Harrison was sleeping. He asked her several questions and told her his father did not need to be disturbed while he was sick over her ridiculous assumptions. He told her as of right now she was part of Harrison’s will. Harrison cheated on my mother, she left him. Apparently he loved her and still felt guilty. Atticus told her to let it go or she would get nothing.” “You think he has Harper?” Collin asked as he sent a text message. “I think that unless Maddox has some crazy stalker fan or his ex…” “Fuck you,” Maddox grabbed him. “You fucking brought this on, the one who kept her from me for months worrying her about what shit I would bring into her life!” Brody grabbed Maddox, and tried to pull him off of Blake. “MADDOX!” Collin snapped. Tessa ran down the stairs, “This isn’t helping! Stop this now!” Collin grabbed her and held her as Maddox walked out the door.
“Zach, look into Atticus Dunlop. Son of Harrison Dunlop, Blake just showed up and he thinks that is Collin’s father and brother,” Maddox’s voice was full of anger. “Breathe Maddox, now isn’t the time to lose it.” “What the fuck else can I do, Zach?! This is…” “I just received a message that the vehicle spotted in the street surveillance cameras was seen three hours from you in New Castle. Don’t leave without me. I will text Tomas. No cops, I’m going to be to you in an hour.” “Thanks, Zach, I’ll see you then,” Maddox walked into the house and looked at everyone, “I have a lead.” Collin looked up at him, “Let’s hear it.” “Not with him in the room,” Maddox glared at Blake. “Maddox, I had no idea…” Blake began and Maddox cut him off. “I’d like to talk to you all in the other room,” Maddox looked at Collin. “Do I threaten you that much, Maddox? I flew seven hours to give my help in finding a young woman who I have known for years and a family who means a lot to me.” Maddox walked past him and glared, “You’re a fucking dick, Drake.”
“You’re a fucking Prince Max,” Blake sneered from behind him. Brody grabbed Maddox and took him in the kitchen, “No more, you’re struggling and I get it-- but no more.” “I need to find her, God damn it Dad, I’m going fucking crazy,” Maddox clenched his fist, “You see what they did to Emma and Tessa, I can only imagine --FUCK!” Maddox held his head in his hands and tried to take a few deep breaths to relax himself, it wasn’t helping. Collin and his sons walked into the kitchen, “What do you know?” Maddox looked suspiciously at Matthew, “She is my sister, Maddox. Just because I knew…” “Fine! Street surveillance footage showed someone pulling Claire into a black van. As I said before, I know she has nothing to do with this. The vehicle was spotted about three hours north of here. It’s not a hundred percent but at least it’s something. Zach will be here in an hour. He didn’t call the police... we should wait for him and then go bring her, them home.” Collin let out a heavy, deep breath, “Alright. Let me talk to Tessa and Tomas…” “Zach is also contacting Tomas.” “Thank you, Maddox,” Collin disappeared from the room and his sons followed. Maddox looked at Brody, “I’m going with him.” “I know that, and so am I.” “No Dad you need to stay with Emma and the girls. This is my fight, my soon to be wife and my child.” “You are my child…” Maddox interrupted him, “They need you.” “This is not even up for discussion, Maddox. Go shower--- it’s going to be a long night. I’m going to go talk to Em.”
“Hey beautiful,” Collin sat next to Tessa and patted his lap. Tessa looked at him sadly, climbed on his lap, hugged him tightly and whispered, “Collin.” “We have a lead.” “Tell me, where is she?” “I’m waiting for details from Tomas. Zach will be here soon. His sister Claire was taken as well. They think the vehicle Claire was dragged into is three hours north of here.” Tessa was crying and shook her head up and down, “Okay.” “I’m going to make sure our baby comes back to you, Tessa Abraham,” Collin looked into her eyes, “Do you understand?” “You’re going?” Tessa wiped her tears and then took his face in her hands. “Yeah,” Collin whispered. “You’ll bring her home?” Tessa stroked his cheek gently with her thumb. “I will.” “Okay, let me go.” “No Tessa. I need to focus on one person, alright?” Collin kissed her forehead, “I’d like to shower and I’d like you to come with me.” Tessa stood up and took his hand.
Collin turned on the water, and then turned the radio on to an instrumental station. Tessa shook her head and looked down. “Are you going to make up words for me Tessa?” Collin took the hem of her shirt and lifted it up over her head. She shook her head no as she unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled her bra straps over her shoulder and kissed down her arm as one hand slipped behind her and un-snapped her bra. “Do you know how much I love you?” Collin took her breast in his mouth and the other in his hand. He stepped back as she unbuttoned his pants, “Just as much as I did the first time I saw you. You’ve given me so much more than I ever dared dream, more than I ever knew I even wanted. Two sons, a daughter, your heart, and your love.” Collin pulled down her pants and lifted her up, placing her legs around his waist, “I love you, beautiful,” Collin kissed her and pushed into her harshly. “Oh Collin,” she cried into his neck. “My God everything about you, Tessa,” he growled into her hair. “I love you,” Tessa moaned. “Tessa,” he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her. She grabbed him as he pushed her into the shower wall and moved slowly in and out of her. “I love you, Collin, so much.” “Tessa,” he moved faster and harder until he came. They held each other kissing slowly, softly, passionately. “Hey beautiful,” he cupped her chin as he saw tears falling down her face. “You are beautiful,” Tessa took a deep breath. “You have given me so much Collin, more than I ever expected.” “No more tears alright, we need to get our girl back,” Collin stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel and held it up for Tessa. He gently toweled her hair and she wrapped her towel around him holding him against her. Collin smiled down at her, “I promise to bring her back.” Tessa kissed his chest. “Alright,” he hugged her, “Listen, I need your help.” “Anything,” Tessa looked back up at him. “I need to be able to focus on getting her home. Maddox, Blake, and our boys are too…emotional. I can’t be worried about them too, Tessa.” “What’re you asking?” “Cover for me while I slip out of here. Zach will be here soon and Tomas should be waiting at the airport for me now. He and I have worked together for years. I know I can get her back to you beautiful, but I’m concerned that with the boys there…” “You’re sure, Collin?” “A clear head, focused on Harper, and no one else, Tessa. I’m sure that’s what I need,” Collin grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. “Alright, but what do I…” “I’ll contact Zach as soon as we take off,” Collin walked into the bedroom and grabbed a sweatshirt and black loose pants as Tessa grabbed a pair of yoga pants. “If that’s what you need, of course,” Tessa shook her head. “Do you have everything you need?” “Yes, Tomas has taken care of everything, as usual,” Collin smiled, “Look at me.” Tessa looked up at him and he kissed her nose, “Beautiful.”
Collin slipped out the back door and quickly walked to the end of the driveway. He opened the back door to the black car waiting for him. “What the…” “So predictable,” Brody rolled his eyes. “You should…” “Listen, I understand not needing the entourage,” Brody patted his back. “Emma will be…” “Em knows and she also knew not to argue. Maddox is a fucking mess, we don’t want him to get hurt because he is worried about that dick, Drake,” Brody smirked. “His name is…” “Whatever,” Brody mimicked London’s eye rolling. “Fine. Update?” Colin asked as they sped down the road towards the airstrip.
Tessa sat up and wiped her eyes when she heard a knock on the door. She stood and slowly walked towards the door. “Tessa, I need to speak to Collin,” Maddox looked past her. “Come in and have a seat, Maddox,” Tessa wiped her eyes again. “Zach should be here any minute and I’d like to speak to Collin before he gets here.” Maddox looked at Tessa, “Please don’t cry. I know she is going to be alright.” “I pray she is, Maddox, because if…” “No. No if’s and keep praying,” Maddox looked around, “Is he in here?” “No he…” Emma walked into the room, “Maddox, why don’t you get some rest before Zach gets here?” “He should be here any minute and there is no way I would sleep,” Maddox looked at Emma and then back at Tessa, “Where is Dad?” Emma looked up at him, “Maddox now don’t…” “Please tell me that they’re here,” his voice shook in anger. “Maddox, Collin…” “She’s my heart, Tessa! I need to find her just as badly as he does,” Maddox clenched his jaw and glared at Emma, “Did he go, too?” “No Maddox, Collin and Tomas…” “Yes, yes he did. You’re his heart, Maddox, and he…” “They had no right to leave me out of this! She is mine to protect and love just as much as…fuck!” Maddox stormed out of the room and down the stairs. Emma ran after him, “Collin knows what he’s doing, Maddox! Stop! He is her daughter …” “And she is carrying MY child, Emma! I’m not a boy! I…” “You’re your father’s child Maddox, they’re doing this for both of you,” Emma started to cry. Maddox turned and looked at her, “I have sat here for nearly twenty-four hours holding myself together. I won’t sit here any longer; someone is going to pay for what they have done to her—to all of you!” “I know Maddox, I’m so sorry,” Emma sobbed and Maddox hugged her tightly, “I can’t lose you, Maddox.” “You won’t,” Maddox stepped back and looked around the room, “If I don’t leave here, that fucker is going to pay with his life.” “It’s not his fault, Maddox,” Emma whispered.
Zach walked through the front door and looked around, “You ready?” “Yes,” Maddox grabbed his jacket. “We are going too,” Matthew said pointing to his brother. “No…” “Try and stop us,” Matthew sneered. “Fine, but Drake stay’s here!” Maddox walked out the door and CJ and Matthew looked at Tessa. “We’ll see you soon, Mom,” CJ and Matthew each hugged her and followed him out.
They all piled into the car and Zach looked at Maddox, “Clive is meeting us at the airstrip. Collin, Brody, and Tomas are in the air. We have two locations and they’re going to check out the area before we arrive, if they can get to them…” “Them?” CJ looked confused. “My sister is there as well,” Zach said and continued, “Maddox, having two teams is a good thing, get over it. We work together to bring them home.” Maddox sat back and then looked out the window. Silence.
Collin looked at the laptop with the new information Tomas had just received. Harrison Dunlop was a very wealthy playboy who owned several businesses worldwide. He was worth billions of dollars. His son, Atticus, was the typical son of a wealthy man. Photos of him with beautiful women always attached to his arm were all over the internet. His appetite for women, money, and power were apparent everywhere. He clicked back to Harrison’s photos. He had dark hair with hues of gray throughout. He saw the resemblance in the eyes and stature. He read a couple of articles that talked about his businesses and charities he gave to. He was divorced from Blake’s mother over twenty years ago. She was much younger than he was and beautiful. Brody looked over his shoulder at the photos, “He looks like you.” Collin nodded and then sat back, “He’s dying of cancer.” “I’m sorry.” “I don’t know if I am. A man like him could have found a child if he wanted to.” Collin let out a deep breath, “A man like me could have found a father if I wanted to. But I didn’t and still don’t.” “I understand.” “My children are going to want to meet him,” Collin rubbed his chin, “I can’t tell them no.” “I understand that as well.” “I have fought all my life for everything I have. I have tried to protect them yet teach them to be humble, to care for others, to give more than they received. This is unreal; never in a million years would I have thought something like this could happen to them. Tessa, my God I love that woman. I would have been no different than Harrison Dunlop had I not found her, had fate not shoved her at me over and over again.” Collin hung his head and took a deep breath, “That woman has given me everything, and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to bring our daughter home to her. After Harper is safe I’m going to rip apart whoever is responsible with my bare hands.” “Collin--- I understand that need as well, but what will your children learn from you when you are behind bars. If you kill Atticus…his father may feel the same way about him, as you and I feel about
ours.” Collin sat silently in thought for several minutes, “You and Maddox will protect them.” “Just as you have for my family.” Brody looked at him, “You’re like a brother to me, Collin. I trust you more than I have anyone in my life. You don’t even have to question what depths I’ll go to for you and your family.” “Thank you,” Collin sat back, “I’m still going to rip that motherfucker apart.” Brody chuckled, “And I’ll swear it was self-defense. Just like you did for me with Bo.” Collin smiled at him, “I knew you would.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Lost Their captor walked in behind them as Harper held Claire’s hand tightly. “Did you get our clothes?” Claire asked as he closed the door behind them. He didn’t answer and Harper looked back. He opened the small wood burning stove and threw their clothes in. He opened the bag he carried and threw shirts at them and then sweat pants. “Thank you,” Harper said as she started to dress. “Not so fast,” his voice was dark and taunting. He started walking towards them when his phone buzzed. He stopped and reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He cleared his throat. “Yes…now…no not yet…alright then…yes sir,” he hung up the phone and shoved it in his pocket. He looked at Claire and Harper, “Get dressed, we’re leaving.” Harper and Claire looked at each other as they threw the clothes on. Their captor took everything that was in the room and began throwing it in the stove. Harper looked at Claire and whispered, “If we leave, we die. I’m going to fight Claire, we are going to fight.” “Harper, you’re bleeding and weak. I would love to think we could…” “If we leave, Claire, we die. I am not leaving here. If I die, I die here,” Harper looked at her ring and took it off her finger and closed her eyes. Harper walked quietly to the corner. A place that had already been cleaned out. She dropped the ring on the floor and kicked it towards the darkest part of the corner. Claire walked up to the captor and tapped his shoulder and he jumped, turned around and grabbed her forcefully. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” “What did you want?” His tone was full of rage. “I wanted to know where we were going, if there would be a warm shower, soft towels, maybe a bed?” Claire gave him a seductive look. Desire flashed in his eyes and then left as quickly as it came. Rage overtook him, “NO!” “But we were…” Their capture struck her hard across the face and she fell to the ground. She stood up slowly, “I am so sorry, Master.” “I am NOT YOUR MASTER!” He pushed her away from him. Harper gasped as she watched Claire’s head bounce of the side of the small wooden table and her body fell to the ground. She ran to her side and pulled her head to her lap. She grabbed the towel on the floor and held it to her head and tried to stop the bleeding. “Get her up now! We have to move!” The man was an animal, a soulless animal, Harper knew this the minute she saw his eyes. “We can’t move her, we have to stop the bleeding!” Harper screamed at him, “You’re okay Claire, we’re going to be…” The capture grabbed Claire’s arm and tried to pull her up. Harper grabbed her tightly, “NO!” He grabbed Harper by the hair, yanked her back, and kicked her across the room. Harper fell to her side and yelled out in pain.
Claire opened her eyes as he grabbed her by the hair. She grabbed his hands and dug her nails into him and screamed. Harper stood and lunged at him, he swatted her across the face with the back of his hand and she fell. He grabbed both of them by the hair and the door opened. A hood covered Harper’s head as she kicked and scratched at the man restraining her. His knee crashed into her stomach and she fell again. Unable to fight anymore her hands were bound with little resistance. It was dark and Harper was in pain, they dragged her out the door across the gravel driveway. She screamed out, as the sharp rocks cut into her body. She fought hard to free herself and felt her legs lift and then for a moment she was weightless. Her body fell into the metal below. Harper tried to sit up and was thrown back again when Claire was thrown against her. They felt the rumble of the vehicle as it pulled down the long bumpy driveway. Harper felt Claire’s bound hands search for hers and they held hands tightly. “I’m not done fighting Claire, we’re not done fighting. Rest now, Claire,” Harper felt her hands relax and she held tightly to them. “Claire, we are going to be alright,” Harper tried to sooth her the same way she had soothed Harper, “Shh, shh, shh.” Harper tried to fight to stay awake, she felt the strength leaving her body and exhaustion take over, “Please give me strength and please God… help us survive.” Her body slumped against Claire’s and darkness overcame her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Darkest Hour Brody and Collin jumped in the car. Tomas handed him a phone, “You have a call.” “Are you there?” Tessa’s voice was soft and scared. “Yes beautiful, I love you. You’ll hear from me soon,” Collin’s voice was soft yet sturdy: exactly what she needed and he knew it. “You be careful, Collin,” Tessa’s voice broke. “Of course,” he said softly. “I love you,” she whispered. “I know, and I love you, Tessa Abraham,” Collin let out a deep breath. “Talk to you soon.” Tomas handed him the phone and the computer pointing to the location, “Maddox?” “There are two locations. The vehicle that left the Liverpool property and the vehicle that was spotted on the London street surveillance cameras are about forty miles apart. Pick the one you’ll go to.” Maddox’s tone was strong and confident. “We’ll go east, you take west. We communicate Maddox…” “Collin,” Maddox’s voice shook, “I agree with the communication thing, I wasn’t the one who took off…” “You’ll understand one day, soon,” Collin said in a low deep voice. “I understand now.” “This cannot be an issue,” Collin began, “We stand united.” “Understood,” Maddox agreed. “We have four with us, and you have?” “Four as well, your sons are as stubborn as the rest of you,” Maddox said sarcastically. Collin sat quietly, “You tell them to do as Zach tells them to, you do the same Maddox, you’re my son now too. Which means all three of your asses are grounded when we finish this thing.” Maddox smiled trying to lighten the grave mood, “Your dad says you’re grounded.” “Maddox, could you put me on speaker please?” Collin heard the phone connect to the Bluetooth system in the car. “Matthew and CJ, you go in just like it was an untapped and hostile situation. We have talked about this. You watch to see what’s going on, survey the area don’t just run in there half-cocked. She is not your sister today do you understand? Your emotions will get you killed. I need you all alive and well, just as much as I need Harper and my grandson, do you understand?” They both answered yes. “Good. I assume you are all armed. Remember to know where each other are at all times. When we sweep our site we will come to yours. One of us will have your sister and Claire. Good luck and we will talk to you soon. I love you.” “Is Dad right there?” Maddox asked. “Yes you’re on speaker.” “Hey Maddox,” Brody’s voice boomed through the speaker, “I trust you understand what Collin just said.” “Of course,” Maddox answered, “I want to add something though.” “Go ahead, Maddox.” “None of the fuckers walk out alive,” Maddox growled, “Anyone who had anything to do with this
dies tonight. I have fucking had it with shit bags” Brody laughed and Collin shot him a dirty look, “Sorry Collin, but I agree. Keep each other safe, that’s first, got it? Then I agree, fuck them up, Maddox.” “I love you, Dad,” Maddox smiled. “I love you, as well. See you soon,” Brody hung up. Maddox sat back and looked out the window, “Zach, how much farther?” “Less than ten minutes,” Zach answered.
They pulled just down the road from the driveway and all got out of the car. Zach handed them each two hand guns. Maddox looked at Matthew and CJ, “Your sister will kick my ass if you get hurt.” Matthew smiled, “Yeah, she would.” CJ chuckled as he shoved his second gun in his belt. “Let’s do this. Follow me,” Zach had night vision goggles slung around his neck. He pointed up in the sky, “Smoke, someone is here.” Maddox felt far too calm, and it scared the hell out of him. They stayed hidden behind the trees as they surveyed the area and secured the perimeter. Zach motioned towards the other side of the house and pointed to himself and Matthew. Then pointed to CJ and Maddox and pointed to the cabin. “Give us thirty seconds, and then we move in, sweeping from back to front. Wait for the three,” he held up his fingers, “Then we go in together.” “Waste of time, she’s not fucking here,” Maddox growled at Zach and ran towards the house. “Fuck,” Zach ran behind him and Harper’s brothers followed. Maddox kicked in the door and held his gun and flashlight together in his hands as he walked through the cabin quickly shining the light and pointing his gun in around the small room. He opened the stove and saw hot pink silk scraps inside the small smoldering embers. He reached in and pulled the slow burning material out and dropped in on the ground. He stomped on it as the others searched the rest of the back room. Maddox called his father’s phone and Brody answered quickly, “Maddox.” “Put me on speaker, Dad,” Maddox growled. “Go ahead.” “She was here. I would guess by the fire in the stove they have been gone less than an hour,” Maddox was interrupted. “The fires almost dead Maddox they have been gone longer…” Maddox pointed to the ground, “Those are your sisters.” “You can’t assume…” “Matthew not an argument, they are hers,” Maddox snapped as he shone the light down. He cringed when he saw the blood. “Dad, she’s bleeding,” his voice shook, “FUCK!” “You can’t be sure that they’re…” “Matthew she was fucking here!” Collin snapped, “Enough! Anything else?” Maddox walked around the room and shined his light. He saw something in the corner of the room and walked to it and picked it up, “Her ring, MOTHERFUCKER!” Maddox grabbed it and the panties, and ran out of the cabin towards the car. He climbed behind the wheel. “Maddox, I’ll drive…”
“Get the fuck in Zach! I’m driving.” “Maddox,” he looked at his phone. “I’m here,” he said as he peeled out. “You get to us alive Maddox, slow the fuck down,” Brody snapped at him. “Sure Dad, I’ll go the speed limit. How far are you from your destination?” “Twenty minutes,” Collin answered. “Wait for us, there were five sets of footprints, Dad. Two areas I suspect…I think they dragged them out of the cabin. You need to wait. Have you called mom?” CJ asked. “Not yet CJ,” Collin’s tone did not waiver, as normal he was calm and direct, “I will now.” “Call Emma, Dad-- or you’ll be on the shit list,” Maddox pressed the gas pedal harder. “How long before you get to our destination, Zach?” Collin asked. “Pretty fucking hard to tell,” Zach laughed nervously as Maddox took a corner at over a hundred miles per hour. “Maddox, slow down damn it!” Brody snapped. “Alright Dad,” Maddox clenched his jaw. “How many miles Zach?” Collin asked. “Well it changes pretty quickly,” Zach answered trying not to worry Collin. Matthew and CJ laughed. “Don’t encourage him,” Collin said calmly. “Maddox, slow down or I’ll tell Harper I think you’re an asshole and advise her not to marry you.” CJ and Matthew laughed and Maddox slowed down a bit without even realizing it. “That worked,” Matthew laughed. “Alright boys, I have some calls to make. I’ll call you when we get there and give you instructions,” Collin chuckled. “She is going to be fine, they are going to be fine. We just need to make sure you get to us in one piece.” “Talk to you soon?” Maddox asked. “Get back to you in twenty, Son.” Maddox looked at Zach briefly, “Get T and Surge to my parent’s place-- extra bodies. I think Caroline, Henry, Maggie, and John should get the kids back to New York. Find out the nearest hospital to our destination and get Emma and Tessa there.” Zach looked at him curiously, “It’s never this fucking easy, Zach. I trust you… now give me the same courtesy.”
“What’s up Dad?” Maddox answered the car phone. “We’ll be there in five minutes. How long before you get here?” Brody asked. “Fifteen tops,” Maddox answered. “You’ll see a black sedan parked about a mile out. Meet us there,” Collin instructed. “You sure you’ll be there, Dad?” Matthew asked sarcastically. He didn’t answer, “We’ll see you there Dad, be safe.” “See you soon, Maddox,” Brody said softly, “Use your heads boys.” Maddox hung up and pressed the gas pedal even further.
“Collin, another call for you,” Tomas handed him the phone. Collin looked at the phone, “Were you able to retrieve the number?”
Tomas shook his head no, “But we’re all set up now to trace it.” “This is, Collin Abraham.” “Collin, my name is Harrison Dunlap,” his voice was weak. Collin looked quickly at Tomas, “What can I do for you, Harrison?” “I’d like to meet you Collin,” he took a deep breath; “I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone. “Well I’m a very busy man, Harrison and…” “I’m a very sick man, Collin. I don’t have time for games. I want to meet you.” “Harrison, I am aware of who you are. I believe you are the man who screwed a whore and impregnated her.” He heard him take a deep breath, “I believe Collin, that you are my son. I also believe that there is possibly trouble brewing,” he took another breath, “with my son, Atticus.” “Tell me what you know about this ‘trouble’, Harrison.” Brody watched Collin retain control and had no fucking clue how he could. “I think you may have reason to be concerned.” He took a breath, “Atticus has always been-troubled,” he coughed, “He’s sometimes explosive when he feels threatened.” “When is the last time you spoke to or saw him?” “Two days ago. I have someone who watches him,” he took a breath. “I never knew he was aware of it. A trusted employee told me he offered them money to keep me away from my ex-wife and her son, Blake,” he took a deep breath. “He told them he would soon have more than enough money to continue their employment,” Harrison coughed and took a deep breath, “I’m dying, it could be a year it could be a day. I contacted Blake’s mother and she told me she had talked to him and that he threatened her.” “I don’t have time for this, Harrison. As we speak I’m searching for my little girl Harper. There was a break in at a home we were visiting here in England. My wife and her cousin were assaulted. My daughter was taken. We are past the twenty four hour mark, so statistically there is very little chance she is alive. So no I do not have time to bond with you at this time. I don’t even know if I have it in me to do so. When you hear what I have to say, you and I may become mortal enemies. You must understand one thing about me, Harrison; I will fiercely protect my own. When I find whomever is responsible for this, they will pay for what they have done.” “I have read about your past, Collin. But you need to remember something as well. Atticus is my son…” “If he is responsible for her abduction,” Brody grabbed Collin’s shoulder and shook his head slowly no, Collin laughed angrily. “My daughter, your FUCKING BLOOD Harrison… is a smart, sweet, kind, giving, loving, and beautiful girl. She has two brothers who are no different. They take care of others, they work hard, and they have kind hearts, and have done NOTHING to deserve this!” “I never said they did, Collin. From what I’ve learned recently, they must take after you, Son. I hope someday soon to meet all of you. I hope someday you can,” Harrison stopped and coughed, then took several deep breaths, “Forgive me.” “Forgive you? Forgive you for what? I don’t even know you. You don’t know me, there is nothing to forgive.” “Thank you Collin, for not blaming me for something that was out of my control. I would have come for you.” “Harrison, we can’t fix what we don’t know.” “You certainly are my son. I need to meet you.” “Please understand that right now I need to …” “I understand. I want to meet them as well. Please give me your word that very soon we can make that happen.”
“I don’t know if that will happen. You may not want that.” “Goodnight, Son,” Harrison coughed, “Go get your daughter. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I’ll do whatever is in my power.”
Collin hung up and sat back running his hands through his hair. “You need to get back your focus, Collin. Your shield lowered, my God, you do have emotions,” Brody smiled and Collin looked at him curiously. “The Collin I know is one bad motherfucker. The only time you get bent is when it comes to your wife or Harper.” “I don’t think that’s true,” Collin stated. “I didn’t think you were human for some time,” Brody laughed and so did Collin, “Armor up, Collin, we have some people to fuck up.” Collin looked at him and shook his head yes, “For Harper.” “Absolutely for Harper, for Claire, for Tessa, and for my Em. Whoever blackened her eye is going to eat their own dick.” “You have issues,” Collin cracked a smile, “Fucking Rock Stars.” “Crazy ass motherfuckers,” Brody gave a maddening look and then smiled. The car slowed down as it passed a driveway. Tomas looked with night vision goggles at the clearing. They drove down the road further and turned around and parked a mile back. Collin got out and Brody called Maddox, “ETA?” “What?” Maddox asked. “When will you be here?” “Ten minutes,” Zach chimed in. “Alright we drove by. Both vehicles are here. Park by the black car and follow us in on foot. See you soon.” “See you soon.” Maddox hung up and gunned it.
“You ready?” Collin handed Brody a handgun. “Hell yes. Let’s get her, and get the fuck out before any more of our kids get here.” Brody and Clive followed Tomas and Collin quietly into the woods. They quickly and silently ran in the direction of the house. They arrived at the clearing and Collin held his hand up stopping them. Two men were outside on the small porch. They were talking, but Collin couldn’t make out what they were saying. He motioned for Tomas to lead Clive to the back and circle the property. Collin and Brody snuck closer to the house. The lot had several trees and they easily got closer to the house. He held up two fingers and motioned to Brody. They snuck to a window and Collin peeked in. He saw two bodies slouched against each other both hooded and bound. He noticed two doors leading off the main room and motioned for Brody to follow him around back. They looked in windows but couldn’t see anything. Black drapes hung over them. Collin pushed one up and it lifted effortlessly. He pointed to himself and then the window. Then he pointed to Brody and whispered Tomas. Brody shook his head ‘no’, disagreeing that he should enter alone. Collin effortlessly pulled himself up and slipped through the window. Brody quickly made his way to Tomas. Collin was in a small room with a cot and a door. He carefully crept across the room and listened at the door. He opened it slowly revealing that he was alone.
He quickly made his way to them and bent down, “Harper, its Daddy, be very quiet.” He pulled the hood off and she opened her swollen eyes, “Daddy,” she whispered, “Claire.” “I know, Princess,” he untied her hands and did his best to mask the anger building up inside when he saw his little girl had been severely beaten. “Don’t move.” He untied Claire’s hands quickly and pulled her hood off. She turned away and looked towards Harper, “Daddy,” Harper whispered and Claire shook her head up and down once and a tear fell down her swollen face. He looked at Harper and held his finger to his lips. He held up two fingers and raised his shoulders in question. Harper lifted her arm and held up three. “Well hello, Collin,” he heard from behind him, “I would drop the gun and turn around very slowly if I were you.” Collin did as he asked. He stood and looked at the man holding a gun, “Atticus, I presume.” “Very good, Collin. Or should I say, brother?” “You’re going to turn around and walk out of here and let them go,” Collin said his voice smooth and steady. “Oh I don’t think so.” “You have no choice in the matter,” Collin took a slow step towards him.
Maddox, Zach, Matthew, and CJ walked noiselessly through the woods when they heard a gunshot. Panicked-- Maddox ran full speed through the trees, glancing briefly at the path of broken branches laid out before them by Collin, Brody, and the others. He came upon the clearing and all hell broke loose. He scanned the area and saw Brody grabbing his gun. As he continued to run hidden in the trees, he saw two men on the porch quickly duck inside the cabin’s door. He looked back and saw Zach, Matthew, and CJ hot on his heels. He pointed towards Tomas and Clive and then to Brody. Zach, Matthew, and CJ ran towards them. Another shot was fired and he heard Harper scream in horror. Maddox watched as Tomas held Matthew back from running towards the cabin. Harper screamed: “NO!” Maddox heard no one as he ran to the back of the cabin. He saw an open window and climbed through. A foot kicked him hard under the chin sending him falling backwards. He quickly stood and dove on the man. Maddox grabbed him by the throat and his long thick fingers easily wrapped around tight enough that the man was unable to make a sound. Maddox squeezed harder until his body quickly went limp. He dragged him towards the window intending on throwing his limp lifeless body out of it when he saw Matthew climbing through the window. Maddox grabbed his hand and pulled him in. Matthew looked at the limp body in Maddox’s other hand and looked shocked as Maddox pushed him out the window. They stood silently and listened to Harper’s soft sobs. Two men’s voices were muffled and angry, “Where the fuck is he?” The door to the room flew open and Maddox jabbed him in the face knocking him unconscious. “Get him out,” Maddox didn’t give Matthew a chance to respond. He stormed through the door and Atticus grabbed Harper. Maddox drew his gun and slowly moved facing Atticus. His eyes swept over Harper’s bruised body. He glanced at Collin lying on the floor as blood pooled around him. Claire had maneuvered herself into a
corner. “Drop the gun, Hines,” Atticus pointed his gun to Harper’s head and pulled back the hammer. “You first,” Maddox growled. “You’re in no position to make demands,” Atticus smiled salaciously, “Now! Or I shoot her in the head.” Maddox’s eyes fixed on Harper’s and he slowly dropped the gun to the ground. A shot was fired and Maddox dove toward Harper covering her body with his. Atticus hit him hard in the back of the head and Maddox growled as he was pulled up. Atticus forced him to walk towards the front window. He pressed Maddox’s head against the glass, “Back the fuck off, or he dies next.” “Fucking listen to him,” Maddox yelled. A shot rang out from behind them and Atticus yanked Maddox away from the window and closed the curtain. Maddox was facing Harper with his back to Atticus when the goon walked out from the back room wiping the blood from his mouth, “You’re going to pay for that mother fucker,” he said as he pointed his gun at Maddox. Maddox laughed a deep throaty laugh, “Sweetness, which one of these guys fucked up that pretty little face of yours?” “Maddox, no,” Harper whimpered. The goon laughed, “I did--- what the fuck…” Maddox swiftly kicked him in the face again sending him tumbling to the ground. Atticus grabbed his neck from behind and a shot rang out. The goon jumped up and lunged towards Maddox pointing his gun at him. Maddox wrestled him to the ground and pinned him face down. He heard a commotion behind him and glanced back. Atticus lay on the ground with a bullet through his head, “Dad, Matthew, in the back!” Brody ran in the back room and Tomas pulled Collin’s head to his lap. Harper began crying. He let go and started towards her, the goon grabbed for his gun and Maddox grabbed him by his hair forcing him up on his knees as he struggled to get the gun from him, “Sweetness, which one!” “Him, Maddox… my father,” Harper whimpered and held her stomach, “Our baby.” “Not anymore BITCH!” the goon growled loudly. Maddox’s eyes went dark as he watched Harper shake her head slowly from side to side, “YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Maddox screamed as he held the goons head tightly. Maddox screamed out as he put one arm around his neck and in the blink of an eye took his jaw in the other hand and snapped his neck. He let go and the man fell face down into the dirty wooden floor. Harper screamed as she held her hands over her ears and cried loudly. Maddox rushed to her, he grabbed her in his arms and held her as she sobbed. “I’ve got you, Sweetness. You’re going to be okay,” Maddox said as he stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her body shook violently, “Claire,” she whispered. Brody came out with Matthew limping, as he leaned on Brody. Maddox looked at him and then quickly towards Collin. Tomas and Zach were performing CPR on Collin. Matthew dropped to his knees, “NO!” Harper looked up and saw them, “Daddy please…” she cried out. Matthew looked around the room his eyes wide and angry. He saw Claire in the corner and pulled himself towards her. Claire was shaking as she covered her ears and rocked herself back and forth, “Shh, shh, shh.” Matthew grabbed her, “No… please no.”
He pulled her towards him and pulled her head to his chest, “You’re alright now.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Shattered It seemed like forever had passed when the police and ambulances arrived at the scene. Zach and Tomas continued CPR trying to revive Collin. They continued as they loaded him into one ambulance; Harper and Maddox in another, and Zach, Claire, and Matthew in the third. “I need to be with him,” Harper cried as she tried to sit up. “They are doing everything they can, Harper. Please Sweetness, lay back alright?” Maddox watched her pained eyes, “Rest please. Let me take care of you now.” Harper laid back and one hand gripped her shirt over her heart and the other rubbed her belly slowly. “It hurts, Maddox,” she whispered. “I know, Sweetness, I know,” Maddox kissed her check, “You’re here now, I have you.” Harper closed her eyes as silent tears escaped them. Maddox took a slow deep breath as he opened his mouth slightly and captured the tear; he sucked gently and then slowly licked the spot the tear had fallen. A metallic taste touched his lips, blood he thought. Rage and fury burned through his veins. Maddox blocked out the need to tear everything around him to shreds. His awareness of her needs, and a desire stronger than any force he had ever felt to tend to them, strangled the rage. He moved to the next tear and slowly did the same. Harper let go and sobbed quietly against his face. She grabbed his hair and pressed his head against hers as he kissed her. Gently licking away her tears and the dried blood on her face and around her mouth, Maddox lost awareness of everything else going on around him. The paramedic touched his arm and tried to hand him a damp cloth, Maddox shook his head ‘no’, and continued. A growl crept out as he continued to clean her wounds. He placed his hand over hers as she continued rubbing her swollen stomach. She sobbed loudly. “Maddox,” convulsive gasps followed his name, “I feel like I’m going to die.” “You’re not, Harper,” he swallowed back the pain he felt filling him, “I won’t ever allow that to happen.” “Right now,” she took a large intake of breath, “right now-- I wish I had, Maddox, I wish I had!” She nuzzled her nose against his neck as she sobbed. Her arms reached around him and she cried out again. Squeezing him, she screamed out in rage-- “WHY?!” His hand brushed over her hair trying to calm her as she continued. Her body began to shake and the electrocardiograph machine spiked. “We have to give her something to relax,” the female paramedic said softly. Maddox held her tightly against him as he laid her back down. She flinched and let out a pained cry when the IV was placed into her arm and Maddox snarled at the paramedic. “I am so sorry Miss,” she said before shooting something into the plastic line attached to Harper’s hand. “Easy,” Maddox warned the paramedic, “Just what she has to have, no more.” The paramedic nodded. Harper’s sobs softened as he felt the pressure from her firm grasp start to loosen. “I need to see my daddy, Maddox,” Harper sniffled softly. “I know, Sweetness,” Maddox softly stroked her swollen cheek and kissed her hair gently.
“Our baby boy…” “Harper,” he whispered against her head, “I will get you through this.” “What about you, you…” “Taking care of you is my focus, Harper,” Maddox looked into her swollen, bloodshot blue eyes protectively. The red and white flashes of the lights stopped moving around them as Harper became more and more restful. She wondered if it were in her imagination. If the lights were a dream, a nightmare. If this calm now washing over her was actually because of the medication that burned when entering her veins, if Maddox was actually holding her gently in his arms, or if in fact she was now entering into the light. The only thing she did know was movement had stopped. The pain was fleeing her body, the terror of the past day and night, and the next day now night again was dwindling. The strangling pain in her heart for what she knew was lost was now a weighty soreness. The doors to the ambulance flew open and Maddox looked up and saw Emma, “Go to Tessa, I have this, Mom.” Emma heard a blood curdling scream and she ran to the other ambulance. She ran towards the sound and saw a paramedic straddling a man as he did chest compressions. Her eyes swept left and she saw Brody holding Tessa back as she fought to get to the man Emma now knew was Collin. “WAKE UP NOW!” Tessa screamed as her sons took her from Brody, “Don’t you leave me DAMN IT!” Heavy with emotion and still sore from the attack, Emma’s knees began to buckle. Brody quickly grabbed her before she fell. He held her as they followed the stretchers through the emergency room doors. Harper tried lifting her head and Maddox leaned over as he held her hand never leaving her side, “Rest, Sweetness. You can see him in a minute alright?” Harper let out a whimper as she slowly nodded her head yes. The emergency room doctors took over administering CPR as Maddox watched the breathless paramedic squat down on the ground trying to regain his strength, “We had him back-- don’t stop damn it.” Maddox watched Harper’s groggy eyes as they went towards the bustling noise that filled the emergency room. Tessa glanced behind her as if she could sense her child was present. She wiped her eyes vehemently, trying to mask the pain and wipe away its evidence as she ran towards Harper. “Baby girl, you’re okay,” Tessa kissed her face gently and looked at Maddox for answers. “She’s going to be fine,” Maddox looked sadly into Tessa’s eyes. The third stretcher made its way into the busy halls and Maddox looked back at Claire, “Please, no. Please I don’t want to be here. PLEASE NO!” The deafening sound of the heart monitor’s flat line filled the hallway causing time to stop as everyone looked towards Collin, silence. Harper dug deep inside herself and found her voice, “NO, DADDY, NO!” The heart monitor beeped and Collin gasped and his eyes opened wide, “There you are. I knew you wouldn’t leave me,” Tessa sobbed. “..Can’t…have …you…yet,” he gasped. “No-- not yet, but we have lots of time Collin…” “Love...so…much beautiful,” he gasped again. “I love you, I love you, Collin,” she covered his face with kisses and tears. Maddox swooped Harper up in his arms when he heard, “Hey, put her down.” “Try to stop me,” he growled at the nurse as he walked by. “Daddy,” Harper whispered, “Thank you, thank you so much for finding me.” “Maddox...” Collin tried to swallow.
“Both of you, Daddy,” Maddox bent down so she could kiss him, “I love you.” Collin’s eyes widened as he looked to his sons, back to Harper, and finally at Tessa, “Four chambers…full…truest…love. Thank you…” Tessa shook, “No Collin-- thank you, thank you.” “The OR is ready, let’s get him up there,” the doctor shouted. “Enough…to fill…all four…overflowing…” Collin’s eyes rolled back and the machine sounded again. “GET BACK,” the doctor grabbed the defibrillator paddles, “CLEAR.” Collin’s body jilted up, beep-beep beep…and nothing. “CLEAR,” they shocked him again. “YOU FIGHT! YOU FIGHT NOW!” Tessa screamed. “CLEAR,” beep-beep beep…and nothing. “CLEAR,” beep-beep beep…and nothing. “Time of…” “NO! NO! NO! NO!” Tessa screamed as she pushed the doctor away and clung to Collin’s lifeless body, “I love you, please Collin. GOD please.” Matthew and CJ grabbed her. “Daddy, no don’t go, please, PLEASE! WHY? Take me God, damn it-- take me!” Harper screamed. Maddox held her tighter as tears filled his eyes and he whispered, “He can’t have you, Harper.” “NO!” Harper screamed and shook. Maddox felt like he was going to lose it. He couldn’t stand to see her hurt any more than she was. He looked for the nurse and nodded to her. She gave Harper a shot in her arm. “No, please, no,” Harper fought the effects of the drugs as long as she could, holding onto Maddox as if her life depended on it, “Maddox, please.” “Rest, Harper, please, rest,” Maddox watched as Tessa sobbed and Matthew and CJ tried their very best to calm her down.
Maddox paced beside Harper’s hospital bed when Matthew popped his head in, “Claire is out of surgery. They were able to drain the blood from her lung and fix the puncture.” “That’s good Matthew. How are you?” “Strong. I have to be,” he gave a weak smile. “Tessa?” “She’ll be up soon,” Matthew took a deep breath, “Emma got her to shower, and she is in scrubs. Don’t let that fool you though, she really isn’t a doctor.” Maddox smiled politely at his joke, “I won’t.” Matthew walked over to Harper and whispered, “She looks like hell. Fuckers.” “No one will ever lay a hand on her again…” “Or you’ll kill them?” Matthew asked. Maddox looked quickly up at Matthew and scowled slightly. Matthew chuckled, “I was climbing through a window and saw you strangle a man.” “I would do it again.” “Then you snapped another man’s neck,” Matthew chuckled again. Maddox looked at him showing no emotion and started to speak. “I know, you would do it again,” Matthew gave him a slight smile. “He liked you.” Maddox looked at Matthew as tears threatened his eyes and waited for him to regain his composure.
“He liked you a lot. I now see why,” Matthew bent down and kissed Harper’s head. “You ever hurt her and I won’t snap your neck, Maddox, I’ll just fucking shoot you.” Maddox’s eyes left Harper’s face and widened a bit as he looked at Matthew. Matthew smiled, “I know you won’t. I’m just fucking with you.” Maddox gave him a half smile, “We got off to a bad start. I’m truly sorry I ever caused her any pain.” “I know. Well, looks like we are stuck with each other,” Matthew looked at Harper again and then up at Maddox. Maddox stuck out his hand and Matthew shook it, “I’m going to see how Mom is and we will be back up,” he started walking out of the room, “I will check on Claire again.” Maddox shook his head and looked back at Harper. Her eyes fluttered and then slowly opened. He smiled sadly and bent down and kissed her head. Harper tried to sit up. “Hold up there, Sweetness,” Maddox held a pillow to her stomach and lifted her back so she could sit. “Maddox what…” He bent down and kissed her lips lightly, “You had a little surgery. You should feel better in a few weeks. Until then when you sit up, you need to hold a pillow against you. It will hurt less.” Harper’s lip quivered, “The baby?” Maddox shook his head and looked at her. “What did they do with his…?” “Harper do you remember everything that went on?” She shook her head yes. “Okay well,” he swallowed and sat by her feet holding her hands. “Your father you remember that?” She shook her head again. “Your mom said his wish was to be cremated. Did you know that?” She shook her head as tears began to fall. Maddox wiped them away, “I asked that the baby be with him.” Harper closed her eyes and tears fell down her cheeks. “Is that alright?” “It’s alright,” she choked out. “It will be, Harper.” “How?” she shook and then pulled the pillow to her stomach. “I don’t know how to answer that. I know that whatever you need, that’s within my control will be done.” “Ok,” Harper whispered as he rubbed her hands gently. “Maddox.” “Yes, Sweetness?” “I need you to hold me.” Maddox got up quickly and she moved over. He sat next to her and pulled her head to his chest, “I love you. I’ll do anything you need me to.” Maddox kissed her head and rubbed her hand. Harper looked down and gasped, “My ring, I left it…” Maddox reached in his pocket, “I found it.” “You went there?” “Yes, and I saw it. You were so smart, Harper, to leave it. It helped us find you,” Maddox kissed her again. Harper reached out to take it from him and he closed his hand around it. She looked up at him. “Harper Abraham, will you marry me?”
She shook her head yes and he placed the ring back on her finger and kissed it. “I love you,” she winced as she tried to sit up and look at him. “I love you, now rest, Sweetness. We need to get you out of here and back home,” he held her tightly.
Emma and Tessa sat in the waiting room. Brody was talking quietly on the phone and so were Tomas and CJ. They were trying to make arrangements to get everyone back to the US. Tessa stood when she saw Matthew, she wiped her eyes, “Is she awake?” “Not yet, but she will be soon,” Matthew hugged his mother tightly. “It’s bad enough that you boys have seen me like this, she can’t,” Tessa tried to smile. “Mom, you don’t have to be strong for any of us,” Matthew quietly whispered as he hugged her. “I do.” Tessa stood back, “You need to get that bullet out of your foot Matthew.” “I offered,” CJ approached them with a smile, “He thinks it’s a bad idea.” Tessa smiled at him, “Well either way, it has to come out.” “They checked it out and agreed it really wasn’t in a dangerous place Mom. Let’s get back home and I’ll do it then.” “If you don’t I’m going to let CJ,” Tessa forced a small smile. “Okay let’s get up there and be strong…” “We are all little soldiers, Mom,” CJ swallowed hard. “We got this.” Tessa closed her eyes and shook her head. “Do you have a minute?” Brody asked softly and Tessa shook her head up and down. “We’re all set for tomorrow if Harper is released.” Tessa smiled and shook her head in agreement, “You’re sure about this?” Emma smiled, “We are.” “Alright then…” “Keep your fucking hands off of me,” Zach’s deep low voice came from the hallway, “When my sister is released you and I can handle this like men, unless you are too much of a pussy still.” “You’re not an agent anymore. You’ve been warned repeatedly. You broke the law…again.” “What would you have me do? Wait until you fucks screwed this one up too? Fuck that,” Zach growled. “A life was lost because of this Taylor,” another voice growled. “Two would have been, you fucking idiot. And just so you know, that man died saving his child. HIS CHILD!” “How very noble…” Brody heard and then a loud bang rang out the door into the hallway. “Zach let him go,” Brody grabbed Zach and pulled him away. “That’s assault…” “That was fucking nothing, you mother…” “Could we not do this, not now officer? Not now, we’re grieving in there. A family is trying … enough! His sister is in surgery, can’t you just let it go for now?” The man straightened himself up, “You have twenty-four hours.” “Yeah we’ll see you…” Zach began. “Let’s go,” Brody pushed Zach through the doorway and looked over his shoulder, “Thank you.” Zach walked in the room and everyone was looking at him, “I sincerely apologize for…” “Don’t apologize, Zach. From what I understand you are the main reason my daughter was found,” Tessa hugged him, “Thank you.” Zach looked at her and stepped back, “I’m sorry it came at such a loss to you and your family.”
Everyone was quiet as Tessa stared at the ground and shook her head back and forth, “It was not your fault. Any of yours. Collin,” her voice cracked and she swallowed and cleared her throat, “He would have done it even if he knew the outcome.” CJ and Matthew each held one of her hands, “We should go see her now.”
Tessa and her sons walked into Harper’s room and she was asleep against Maddox’s chest. “Did she wake up?” Matthew asked. “Briefly,” Maddox whispered trying not to disturb her, “Tessa I’m so…” “No, Maddox--- stop right there, alright? She’s here because of you. Never be sorry for any of this,” Tessa walked to the opposite side of her bed. “Make her happy. Love and protect her, just like her father did all of us.” Maddox shook his head up and down, “Always.” Harper opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Maddox reached in front of her holding the small pillow against her incision site, “Thank you.” Maddox kissed her head quickly. “Mom,” Harper whispered and hugged Tessa. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Harper,” Tessa hugged her back. “Mom,” Harper began to cry, “Daddy…” “And your baby, my grandchild…I know Harper,” Tessa cried softly. Maddox clenched his jaw and stood up holding his hand to his heart. Harper lifted her head and looked at him, “I’ll give you a minute. I’m going to grab a shower if you are sure you’ll be alright.” Maddox bent and kissed her head. Harper grabbed his shirt and he looked at the confusion in her eyes. She placed her hand over his heart. Tessa sat back and wiped her eyes. “You do this when it hurts, every time,” Harper whispered to Maddox. Maddox closed his eyes, “Sorry, Sweetness…Harper. I’m fine. If you are, I am.” Harper grasped his shirt and pulled him towards her, “I know.” She kissed him on the cheek and let go of him, “I love you, I’ll be back really quickly.”
Maddox walked quickly towards the nurses’ station at the end of the hall. “Maddox,” he heard Brody’s voice coming from the small waiting room to the left of the nurses’ station. “Dad,” Maddox stopped and Brody hugged him. “You okay, son? Harper okay?” “Yes, I am and she’ll be fine.” Maddox stepped back and looked in the room. Zach was pacing and Tomas was eyeing him intently. “What’s going on?” he nodded to them. “Zach is in some trouble. Some douchebag detective wants his ass bad,” Brody explained, “Tomas is trying to convince him to take off, go back to the states, but he’s worried about Claire. He thinks she’ll have a hard time.” “So she goes too,” Maddox looked up as Matthew walked behind them. “Yes, that’s the plan but he has a very small window of time,” Brody shook his head. Matthew walked into the room and up to Zach, “I’ll take care of it, Zach. I’ll make sure she’s alright.
She…” “She doesn’t know you, Matthew. She can be a handful and…” “And you behind bars is going to help her how?” Matthew scowled. Maddox watched the interaction between them and looked at Brody and shrugged. “Let’s go see what she thinks,” Matthew walked out the door and Zach let out an exasperated breath and followed him. Maddox watched them leave and the corner of his mouth curled up and Brody laughed, “What are you thinking?” Maddox looked at him, “I think I despised him, and now I actually like him.” “That’s good--- he’ll be family,” Brody patted his back. Maddox shook his head in agreement, “I need a shower and some clothes do you think the nurses…” “Here,” Emma handed him a bag, “They were in the gift shop, nothing great and no underwear,” Emma whispered. “That’s fine,” he smiled, “Thanks, Mom.” “I’m so sorry, Maddox, I’m so sorry about the baby,” Emma whispered as she hugged him. “Me too,” he whispered back.
Maddox peeked his head in Harper’s room and the curtain was drawn. He held his hand up telling Brody and Emma to wait as he walked in and through the curtain. Harper looked up when she heard him, “Maddox, now is…” Maddox looked down as the nurse was removing the catheter and then back up at her face, “I won’t look if it embarrasses you, Harper, but I was right here when they did it.” Maddox continued looking at her face as he walked up to her. He was sure she was turning red, but there was really no way of telling because of all the bruising. Maddox held her hand as her eyes widened and then scrunched up showing discomfort. “All set,” the nurse said as she covered Harper back up, “If you need to use the bathroom please press the red call button, we’ll help you the first few times.” The nurse left and opened the curtain. Tessa, Brody, and Emma walked in when the nurse left and gave them the okay. Harper continued looking at Maddox. He bent and kissed her head whispering, “Nothing to be embarrassed about, Harper.” “It’s---gross,” Harper whispered back and made a disgusted face. “Nothing about you is. Nothing,” Maddox kissed her forehead and stood up and looked back at Tessa and his parents. “The doctor agreed that if you went to the bathroom and stayed next to my side we could leave tomorrow; to go home Harper, how does that sound?” Tessa asked. “Sounds good, Mom, but I have to finish…” “Well, your father,” Tessa forced a smile, “After Maddox asked him to help plan the surprise…” Maddox looked at Tessa as she covered her mouth she appeared to look as if she would cry, “Tessa, it’s fine,” Maddox smiled gently, “I want her to know that he not only agreed but wanted to make it special. It’s truly alright.” “But now…” “We wait, no big deal. Truly no one could have seen this coming,” Maddox smiled again, “it’s fine, Tessa.” “What’s fine,” Harper asked, “Why don’t I know? We said no secrets…”
“It wasn’t a secret,” Maddox smiled, “It’s a surprise.” “What’s the difference?” “Well, I never agreed to not being able to surprise you,” Maddox could tell she was getting angry. “Harper, they were planning a wedding. Your wedding,” Tessa smiled, “Surprise.” Harper looked up at Maddox, “My dad was helping you?” Maddox shook his head yes and looked at Tessa and smiled trying to show her it was alright. “We’re in no hurry though Harper, we have…” Harper looked at Maddox, “Did you have a date?” Maddox let out a breath, “Yeah, but as I said before…” “When?” “Sweetness we have…” “WHEN?” “Wow,” Maddox smiled nervously, “You should try to settle…” “Maddox,” she growled. “You’re not going to win this, Maddox,” Tessa laughed. “The official ceremony would have been New Year’s Eve. But in the summer we would hold a reception at the Cape,” Maddox looked into her eyes, “That was his idea. Now we should just…” “I want to get married where you did Mom. The church where you and Dad met,” Harper’s lip quivered. “That sounds perfect, Harper,” Tessa squeezed her hand. After Tessa and Harper hugged she looked up at Maddox with apologetic eyes. He rubbed his thumb across the back of the hand he held, nonverbally accepting her apology. Maddox took a deep breath, “He also made arrangements for you to complete your schooling back at Cornell. He was sure Tessa and you would want to be together before,” Maddox stopped and looked into her eyes, “Before the baby was born.” Harper shook her head in agreement, “I would have wanted that, I think.” Maddox gave her a quick smile, “So you’re not upset?” “No, not about that,” Harper lay down, “Especially, not now.” Everyone was quiet for several minutes and Harper looked around the room filled with family, “Hey it’s too quiet where is London?” “When Maddox called last night he suggested that your grandparents and his take the girls back home. To our home. Safer, I suppose at that time,” Tessa answered. “So you knew something was wrong,” Harper yawned. Maddox tried to hide his pending grin, “What?” “Harper, I was pretty sure that you weren’t out shopping when I saw our mothers,” Maddox smiled sympathetically. “Of course. London, Lexington, how are they? Did they?” “They were in the wine cellar. Apparently you suggested that?” Harper shook her head yes. “Maddox found them,” Brody smiled, “We thought they too, were taken.” Harper smiled at Maddox and yawned again. “Before you fall asleep, Harper, I need to let you all know something,” everyone looked at Brody, “Before we arrived Collin and I promised each other that we would protect each other’s families. Maddox, he trusts you completely. I hope you don’t doubt that ever.” Maddox shook his head acknowledging what Brody had said. “Emma and I have decided to sell the Liverpool house. We…” “Dad you don’t have to do that,” Maddox was shocked. He knew how Brody felt about the house, even after all the past events, to Brody it was home. “That house was always a place of peace for me, even after the Bo incident. It is just a house, what is
important is what stands before me. And the little girls on a plane without us,” Brody rolled his eyes. “Emma and I discussed this after the conversation between all of us the other night. I don’t want it anymore; I want the girls and all of you to feel safe. Our security system was second to none but we got comfortable…” “Brody,” Emma patted his arm, “Okay.” Brody looked down at her for several moments before looking back up, “We’re moving back to the States. London will graduate as a Saint and Lexington will start her schooling there as well.” “You’re moving home, Emma?” Tessa smiled. “Yes,” Emma smiled. “To your old…” “No,” Brody shook his head, “We’ll build a new home.” “So you’ll stay with us until it’s finished,” Tessa smiled, a real smile, the first since the night Harper was taken, “And you both, as well.” Harper looked to Maddox and he smiled and shook his head, “Sounds good for now.” Zach popped his head in the door, “Brody, do you have a minute?” “Zach, how is Claire?” Harper asked. Zach stepped in, “She woke up a few minutes ago, confused but…” “I want to see her,” Harper sat up holding the pillow to her stomach. “She’s kind of groggy, Harper,” Zach said softly. “I won’t be long,” she swung her legs over the side of the bed. “Harper, damn it…” “Maddox, I’m fine,” Harper stood, “Dizzy, but fine.” Maddox glared at her, “Sit your little ass…” Harper reached up and closed his lips with her fingers, pinching them together, “I want to see her.” She pulled her hand away and he closed his eyes, “I’ll take you and you’ll sit so that I can get a wheelchair.” “I can walk,” Harper insisted. “It’s on a totally different floor, Harper. I really wish you would just wait,” Maddox looked at her with pleading eyes. “I need to do this, Maddox,” Harper looked at him. She hoped he understood that she did not have to explain what she, Jane/Jazz/Claire, had done for her. Harper sat and waited for him to get the chair and looked around the room. “Harper, you are as far away from…” Harper looked confused as Maddox walked in the room pushing the chair, “Can we have a minute please?” Maddox waited until everyone had left and he helped Harper into the chair. He squatted down before her and took both of her hands and kissed them softly and ran his lips back and forth over her knuckles. When he finally looked up he looked sad, “Sweetness, the surgery you had required that you be brought to the same floor as…” Harper gasped, “Maddox are we,” Harper cleared her throat, “Am I in the maternity unit?” His brows knit slightly as he shook his head up and down, “Your room is the farthest away…” “From the babies,” Harper whispered and started to look down. “We will have children, Harper, more children. Your dad… he needed part of you to be with him while he waits, for his other angels to join him someday.” Harper swallowed back tears and placed her hand against his heart, “Did you see him Maddox? Did you see…?” “No, Sweetness.”
“Okay, I can do this,” her voice barely a whisper as she started to pull her hand away. Maddox placed his over hers as they looked into each other’s eyes, each other’s souls, gaining strength from one another as they had done so many times before.
Maddox begrudgingly stood outside the door as Harper wheeled herself into Claire’s room, “Hi Zach, Matthew,” Harper looked confused. “Hey Harper, do they know you escaped?” Matthew smiled and stood up off the wall heater mounted beside Claire’s bed. He walked over and kissed his sisters head, “Do you need something?” “Yes, I need a minute. I want to talk to Claire,” Harper smiled sadly at him. Matthew nodded and Zach stood and patted her shoulder as they walked out the door. “How are you feeling?” “I’m well,” Claire smiled. Harper looked down at the ground, “I wanted to say thank you, Claire. I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there with me. I wanted to say sorry because you would have never been in that situation if it weren’t for me. I want you to know I will always be thankful, grateful. If there is ever anything I can do, please tell me.” Claire smiled sadly, “Did you lose…” she stopped talking when Harper shook her head, “I’m sorry for your loss. I really am.” Harper looked up at her and saw tears in her eyes, “Claire…” “No, please let me. The first time I met you I wasn’t kind. I purposely hurt you each time. I didn’t know you. I didn’t want to.” “I know that, Claire, and I understand.” “I was jealous.” “I’m sorry.” “Please don’t be,” Claire smiled and looked down at Harper’s hand, “You got your ring back.” “I did.” “I’m glad, very glad that you and Maddox have each other. He loves you. Maddox was kind to me. But he loves you, deeply,” Claire smiled slightly, “I’m glad he has you.” “Someday you’ll find the person you are meant to be with also, Claire.” “Well for now, I just really want to find myself.” Harper smiled at her, “Anything I can do…” “You, your whole family, have a lot to deal with.” “We all do, Claire.” “The police have to interview us. Zach won’t be here, they want to arrest him.” “Why would they want to do that?” “Apparently he was warned about going rogue,” Claire smiled, “My brother doesn’t listen well. He has to leave the country, today.” Harper could tell Claire was uncomfortable, “Where will he go?” “The US. I guess Tomas and Brody are taking care of it,” Claire looked scared. “Well… we do the interview together, and when we leave we’ll take you to him Claire…” “Your brother Matthew offered the same.” Harper shook her head and smiled, “So that’s what we do. No worries.” Zach and Maddox walked into the room, “Claire I have to take off, I don’t want to…” Claire smiled slightly, “I’ll be fine.” “How do you…” Zach started.
Claire squeezed Harper’s hand, “Because of Harper. She said she’ll help me.” Maddox looked between the two of them nervously and Harper looked up and smiled. His eyes were cold and his face was expressionless. Harper took his hand and smiled slightly, “We’ll all be fine.” Maddox let out his held breath slowly and Harper tilted her head towards Claire motioning him to say something. “You’re alright Ja...Claire?” “Yes Maddox, thank you,” Claire smiled at him.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN Empty Harper insisted on staying in Claire’s room after Zach left. She wanted to wait until she was alright. Matthew knocked and walked into her room, “Hey Claire. Zach is in the air and I just talked to the police. They will interview both of you in the morning and then us. After that we all fly back to the US and Zach will meet us.” “Thank you, Matthew,” Claire yawned. “Of course,” Matthew winked. Claire scowled at him and Maddox laughed, “It’s a friendly gesture Ja… Claire.” “Alright then,” Claire was obviously embarrassed, “I’d like the pain medication. I want to sleep.” “Promise if you wake up and need company you’ll let us know?” Harper reached up and squeezed her hand. “Yes, thank you Harper,” Claire shifted to her side and closed her eyes. “See you in the morning, Claire,” Maddox said as he pushed Harper into the hallway. Claire covered her face when they left and started to shake. She was alone in a hospital and scared. She knew she shouldn’t be. Zach had told her she was safe and through the counseling she had received, it was still hard. She felt safe for the first time in her life and then again she was taken. Again, she used her body to try to manipulate a situation based solely on the only thing she knew to do to survive. Claire jumped when she felt someone take her hand and pulled away. “Claire, you are alright.” She looked up and Matthew stood beside her hospital bed. “I want the medicine, please.” “They’ll be in with it in just a few minutes,” Matthew pulled a chair next to her bed and then another. “What are you doing?” “I’m going to get comfortable,” he smiled, “I’ll be right here if you need me.” Claire shook her head no as she looked at him with eyes full of terror. “I promised your brother,” Matthew sat down and propped his feet on the other chair. “I’m a man of my word. I’ll stay with you until we can get you to Zach.” “What if I don’t want you to?” Matthew laid his head back against the chair and closed his eyes, “You don’t have a choice. Now try to sleep, we travel tomorrow.” Claire knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but not having a choice made her angry. He wasn’t like the men she had known all her life. She rolled to her side facing away from him and curled up into a ball.
Detective Buchanan and two uniformed officers sat in the empty waiting room the hospital administrators had allowed them to use for the interview, waiting for everyone to arrive. Matthew and Maddox pushed Claire and Harper into the room, Emma, Tessa, and Brody followed them. “We would like to interview them one at a time,” Buchanan said as Brody closed the door behind him. “That is not necessary, we do this now or you wait until we have attorney’s present,” Brody sat next to them.
Claire looked at Harper and Harper raised her lips forming a small put-on smile, “I’ll go first.” Harper held Claire’s hand as she gave an account of the kidnapping. She stopped when Buchanan held up his hand. “Claire, you could give your statement now.” Claire cleared her throat and started talking, her voice became softer and softer and her body shook. Matthew stood behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She glanced up and he gave her a look of encouragement. She continued talking a bit louder. When asked what stopped the beating Claire scowled and looked down. Harper continued the story. She talked about how courageous Claire had been and how lucky she herself was that Claire was able to manipulate the man. She did not give details and Claire looked at her appreciatively. When Buchannan was finished with Claire and Harper, the men gave their statements. Matthew left out specifics about what he had seen Maddox do as he was coming through the window and it was agreed upon that the extreme measures that had been taken where done so in self-defense. Buchanan asked where Zach was and Brody told him he had to fly back to the States for some Burning Souls business, explaining that obviously Maddox couldn’t do it at this time. Brody also told him that he was sure Zach would be in touch. Buchanan looked angry and was further angered when he saw the picture pop up on his cell phone of Zach holding up his middle finger standing next to a JFK International Airport sign and cursed when he read the caption attached to the picture, You seriously fucking suck at your job and when Madeline gets sick of lying under a douche bag, let her know I’ll let her taste my dick again. Brody chuckled to himself when he walked out of the room after peering over Buchanan’s shoulder to read the text. “What’s so funny?” Emma whispered. “Nothing Em,” Brody pulled her into his side and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek.
Maddox wheeled Harper through the doors towards her room. He hurried as they walked by the large glass window overlooking the nursery and wondered when the realization would finally hit her that she’d lost a child. Maddox pushed the chair up next to her bed and she stood and looked at him as he put it in the hall and shut the door behind him. Harper looked at him, “I know what you’re doing.” “Shutting the door?” Maddox smiled slightly, “then helping you into bed, hoping you’ll be comfortable lying on your side so I can hold you until you fall asleep?” Harper looked blankly at him, “Your parents, CJ, and my mom are going to pack up our stuff, and meet us back here in the morning.” “Yep,” Maddox lifted her feet and swung them carefully onto the bed. “Tomorrow we get on a plane with a box containing my father and our child,” Harper said in a matter a fact tone causing Maddox to stop and stare at her. “I know you push me past the nursery so that I don’t see what I know is in there. I know that you sneak out in the hall when I’m asleep and talk to Tomas and your father about…” “Harper,” Maddox said softly as he finally sat next to her. “I know you keep looking at me waiting for me to fall apart. I know you want more of the story about what happened when I was…taken. But what I need right now is to be strong for me, Maddox. I need to hold it together for my mom.”
Maddox nodded his head slowly up and down, “But you also need to let me take care of you Harper.” “You lost a child, too,” Harper whispered. “So you need to take care of that for me as well, Harper?” Maddox’s voice carried an edgy bite. Harper looked up at him concerned and shrugged her shoulders. “If you want to discuss this now, it’s fine. I am a bit apprehensive as to how you may react to my feelings at this time.” “What does that mean, Maddox?” “I wouldn’t trade you for anything or anyone. I need you, Harper. I don’t know how to explain exactly, and I know it’ll come out incredibly selfish. I haven’t given myself a proper amount of time to process all of it. I don’t even know if it’s something I should try to do. Two lives were lost, taken from you and from me. I took two lives in return. An eye for an eye. Nothing will change, regardless of what I say or do.” Harper looked into his intense blue eyes. A mix of pain and rage hid deep inside them. She said nothing; she just looked at him and then lay down and closed her eyes. Harper took a few deep breaths and rolled to her side. Maddox sat looking at her, waiting. She kept her eyes closed, and patted the pillow. She heard a mournful sound escape his chest and he laid down. He placed his lips on her forehead and she placed her hand on his heart. She felt him take a deep breath. “Goodnight Maddox, I love you,” Harper whispered and scooted closer to him. “I love you, Sweetness,” Maddox reached down and held her hand and rubbed her ring finger, “Marry me?” “Of course.” Harper felt his body relax and she tilted her head up towards him. He rubbed his nose across hers and breathed her in, “I’m so sorry for everything, Harper. Your hurt and pain. I am so sorry I was not there to protect you.” “You did, Maddox. You saved my life.” They spent the next hour holding and comforting each other through gentle touch and soft sweet kisses.
The car pulled up on the tarmac and Maddox helped Harper out. Surge had returned from his holiday and Maddox was extremely short with him. Harper noticed and elbowed him in the side. He looked around quickly wondering what had bothered her; upset her enough to do that. When he looked back at her she scowled. “What is it Harper?” he quickly looked around again. “Don’t be an ass to him.” “To who?” Maddox had no idea what she was talking about. “Surge, none of this is his fault, Maddox.” He let out a deep breath and looked into her eyes, “I know that.” “Well he doesn’t, Maddox; he’s walking on pins and needles around you.” “Good,” Maddox sneered. “Oh for God’s sake, Maddox. IT’S NOT HIS FAULT!” Harper screamed. Maddox stopped walking and turned and looked sternly at her and took her face in his hand, “I know that, Harper.” “NO YOU DON’T!” She screamed and smacked his hand away, “NO YOU DON’T! You think it’s everyone’s fault!” Harper pushed him, “You think it’s his fault, you think it’s her fault,” she pointed at Claire and then pushed him again and he stood and watched her face. Maddox reached for her hand and
she slapped at it furiously, “You think its Blake’s fault! You think its Daddy’s fault!” Harper slapped him in the shoulder, “You think I’m awful because I didn’t tell you about our baby, and…” CJ ran up and grabbed her arms stopping her from hitting Maddox again, “Harper, enough!” “NO, CJ! He hates me! He thinks I’m awful. I hid his baby from him because he would hurt him.” Harper turned and looked at Maddox with tears running down her face, “SAY IT! Say I deserve this for hiding it. For resenting him, when I was mad at you. SAY IT!” Maddox looked at her expressionless. “I HATE YOU!” Harper screamed. “Harper that is enough!” CJ scooped her up in his arms and carried her sobbing as he walked up the stairs boarding the plane. Maddox looked down at the ground. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then turned and walked down the tarmac. Tessa covered her mouth as tears streamed down her face. Brody patted her shoulder and looked at Maddox, “Em, you and Tessa go ahead, I got this.” Brody stood watching his son, giving him enough time to work through whatever must be going on in his head. When Maddox stopped Brody slowly walked towards him. Maddox saw Brody standing next to him and looked up from the ground. “We have to get going, Maddox.” “I know,” Maddox said and squinted as he looked off into the distance. “You’re doing great, Maddox,” Brody patted his shoulder. “I’ll continue doing so.” “Alright then, let’s get going.” When they boarded the plane Maddox looked around quickly. “She and mom are in the back,” Matthew answered his unspoken question, “CJ is with them.” Maddox shook his head and walked to a seat away from the others and sat looking out the window as the plane began to taxi down the runway.
When they were able to Harper unbuckled her seat belt and walked to the door and opened it. She looked out and saw Maddox sitting in a chair away from everyone else. He had his knit cap pulled down low and his eyes were closed. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands were clasped tightly together. He lowered his head looking at the ground. “Harper,” Matthew said. Maddox looked up quickly and saw her shut the door. Maddox looked at Matthew and Matthew nodded towards the door telling him to go in. Maddox sat back contemplating and decided not to. Harper sat on the bed and looked at Tessa, “I’m sorry, Mom. I am so sorry.” Tessa hugged her, “It’s expected, Harper. This is awful for you, for me, for your brothers. It’s awful for everyone here on this plane and when we get home, well it’s going to be awful then as well. But for you and Maddox, Harper,” Tessa hugged her daughter, “I know it wasn’t planned and I know you’re holding guilt about a lot of things inside, but you lost twice and so did I. I’m so sorry, Harper.” “Mom, it’s fine, I’ll be fine,” Harper swallowed hard. “If you want to talk about this with me…when you are ready to, please Harper-- understand that I’m here and know that I’m equally as sad that I lost a grandchild.” Harper shook her head as tears built in her eyes, “Mom, I’m so tired.” “I know, you lay down and go to sleep. We’re all here for you.”
Everyone had fallen asleep and Maddox stood up and walked to the cabin door. He opened it slowly and saw Harper and Tessa asleep on the cabin’s bed. Harper’s head rested on Tessa’s shoulder and they were holding hands. He walked in and grabbed the blanket and pulled it up around them and kissed her head softly. As he exited the room Harper opened her eyes and saw him leave. She closed her eyes and felt her eyes heat up.
Maddox sat back down in his chair and grabbed his head phones out of his bag. He popped them in and sat back and closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep before they landed, knowing he wouldn’t. He felt someone sit beside him and the music playing in his ears changed. Waves crash of thunder inside my mind I run I run Seas grand reflection open to warmth Undone Undone Reflecting the love burning inside My soul my soul The sea whispers softly Don’t hide, don’t hide She welcomes the yearning caresses my pain rippling water lightly kisses away Life’s stain Life’s stains Washed away by the seas calm, nurtured by the wind the sound of her song,
Maddox opened his eyes and Claire sat next to him. He smiled and she returned his smile, “She’s just sad.” “I know Jazz,” he patted her hand. “Claire,” her lips turned up slightly. Maddox smiled, “Claire.” She sat back and held his hand, “She loves you.” “I love her, too.” “It’ll be okay,” Claire smiled. “You sure about that?” “Yep.” “Why so sure?” “Because it’s Harper,” Claire’s smile broadened. Maddox chuckled, “I know.” They sat silently for a few more minutes. “I’m sorry about what happened to you, Claire,” Maddox said softly. “Been through worse,” she answered as if it were no big deal. Maddox shook his head in agreement even though he was not sure that was true. “She hasn’t though, Maddox. She needs you to be strong for her,” Claire sat up and looked at him. He opened his eyes, “I will be, of course… I will be.” “I know.” Claire leaned back into the chair.
“Claire, I’m also here for you, alright? As your friend, I’m here for you anytime you need me.” She smiled and hugged Maddox. He hugged her back, “Thank you, Maddox.” “You’re very welcome.” “I’m here for you as well,” Claire laughed and sat back and shook her head and giggled, “We are friends, aren’t we, Maddox?” “Of course,” Maddox smiled.
When the plane touched down, Maddox woke and Claire’s head rested against his shoulder. They both opened their eyes and smiled. “Morning buddy,” Claire giggled. “Morning friend,” Maddox stuck his hand out and they shook hands. When he looked up Harper was walking out of the cabin. She had on dark glasses and as she walked past him completely ignoring him he reached and grabbed for her hand. Harper pulled it away as if it would burn her skin and exited the plane. Maddox closed his eyes, ran his hands through his hair, and stood up. Matthew looked at him curiously and Maddox scowled and shook his head. He turned to walk off the plane. Claire looked sternly at Matthew, “Just because I am what I am, does not mean he is!” Matthew’s jaw dropped on shock, “Claire I didn’t…” “You both did,” she grabbed her bag and left the plane. Matthew looked around and Brody looked at him and patted his back, “It’ll all be fine.” Matthew nodded, “Gotta be.”
Harper slammed the door of the car as Maddox walked down the stairs from the plane. He walked up and opened the door and climbed in. Harper moved to sit between her mother and CJ. Maddox sat across from her. “Good morning,” he said as he looked at Harper. She looked away. “Good afternoon, Maddox,” CJ smiled, “Time change.” “Right,” Maddox acknowledged his correction with a polite smile and continued looking at Harper, “Good afternoon.” Tessa mouthed sorry to Maddox, and he shrugged, “Please don’t be…” “Be WHAT Maddox!” “Harper, he was…” “Don’t stick up for him, Mom.” “Harper…” Maddox began. “Don’t!” Tessa closed her eyes, a silent plea for him to stop and he closed his eyes and sat back. “When we get home, there’ll more than likely be a very large welcoming committee waiting for us,” Tessa said as she brushed Harper’s hair with her fingers, “You should both know that your loss has not been talked about. Even London knows it was between just our very immediate families” Maddox looked at her and then at Emma, “She’s fine, Maddox.” He let out a breath nodded and sat back watching Harper.
They pulled down the long driveway and Tessa smiled and a tear escaped her eye, “They’re all here.” Harper lifted her head up and looked out the window, she smiled at Tessa and wiped her tear, “Of course they are.” Brody opened the door and stepped out of the car and helped Emma out. The girls ran towards them smiling and he scooped them up, “Hello, little Princesses.” Emma joined their embrace. Maddox waited as Tessa got out, “Harper,” he grabbed her hand and she looked at him. “We will get through all of this, don’t shut me out. I love you.” Harper slowly pulled her hand away and got out of the car. London looked up at her and her eyes widened. She swallowed hard and let go of Brody and Emma and quickly walked to Harper, “Hi.” Harper smiled, “Hi.” London threw her arms around Harper and started to cry, “London I’m alright, okay?” “Yes,” she looked up. “Harper I …I…” “Hey London,” Maddox bent down and kissed her head. “MADDOX!” London opened her arm for him to join their hug. He smiled softly at her and joined. Harper’s body tensed when he put his arm around her, and Maddox kissed the top of her head, “I love you, Sweetness.” Harper shook slightly and London looked up, “Harper, don’t cry.” Harper wiped her tear, “Sorry.” “London, Harper and I need to talk for just a couple minutes, alright?” She shook her head and walked away. Maddox wrapped his arms around Harper and he breathed her in deeply and whispered, “I won’t let you push me away.” She looked up at him, “You’re doing it all by yourself.” Maddox’s eyes locked on hers, “No Harper, you’re trying to read my mind. Trying to figure out what I am thinking, feeling—I told you the other night I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I do know that I’m not going anywhere, Harper; no matter how hard you push me away, no matter what it is you say to me, I’m not going anywhere. We belong together….” Maddox looked up as Matthew cleared his throat he pointed to the back of Harper, and mouthed Blood. Maddox closed his eyes briefly and let go of her. He removed his jacket and started to put it on her, “I’m fine.” “Show me where the bathroom is?” Harper looked at him, “You know…” Maddox turned her around and held her hips as he walked her towards the house, “Back door. Less people.” “Maddox, you’re pissing me off,” Harper growled. “Harper I’m taking care of what needs to be taken care of.” They walked in the backdoor and walked through the mudroom towards the bathroom. “No-- the one near your room.” “Maddox,” she pulled away from him. “Harper-- you need to get a change of clothes and wash up. There’s blood on the back of your pants and …,” Harper gasped and her face, still bruised turned bright red.
“Come on, I will help you.” “I can do it myself!” “I’m sure you can,” Maddox lifted her up and carried her up the stairs. Harper began crying and he held her head against his chest. He opened her bedroom door and walked towards her closet as she cried. He grabbed a shirt and some jeans, still holding her he walked to her dresser and opened a drawer and grabbed underwear. He walked out of her large bedroom and into the bathroom next to it. He dropped the clothes and rubbed her hair away from her face and kissed away her tears. “STOP!” Harper wiggled out of his arms. “Harper…” “Did you kiss her like that?” Maddox looked confused, “Last night when you were mad at me? Did you comfort her like you used to?” Maddox looked appalled as he tried to keep it together, he took a deep breath and laughed an angry deep laugh. “DID YOU?!” Without saying a word, he walked to the shower and started it. He felt the water to make sure it wasn’t too hot. “I am going down to get new bandages and the wrap to cover your incision. I will only be a couple minutes,” Maddox started walking away and stopped, “I asked you to marry me Harper. Not her, not anyone else. I asked YOU to marry ME!” Harper sat on the floor and cried. Angry and confused and completely overwhelmed by the events of the past few days. She reached up and grabbed a towel from the towel rack and dragged the towel to her face and screamed into it. She cried for her mother and her brothers. She cried for herself and she cried for Claire. She cried for her child, her father, and finally… she cried knowing she was hurting Maddox. Maddox walked in and found her on the floor and dropped his bag as he fell to his knees and pulled her into his arms. Harper wrapped her arms around him and screamed into his neck. “Shh, shhh, shh,” Maddox whispered as he held her tightly. Harper tried pushing him away. “Harper, I’m not letting go. Stop fighting please, just stop.” “I want to know! I want to know what happened last night!” Maddox held her face in his hands, firmly but gently, “I was sitting down in the same area as your brother, my parents and Claire, Harper! After I snuck in like a fucking thief when you had fallen to sleep to kiss your head and cover you with a damn blanket I came back out and sat. I was listening to music, trying to fall asleep because I haven’t slept since Switzerland because your mood swings are fucking epic, and that’s putting it mildly! The music switched and I opened my fucking eyes and she was sitting there. I thanked her, we talked about you…” “What did she tell you?” Harper grabbed his wrists and tried to pull his hands away from her face and he didn’t let go, “I want to know!” “We talked about friendship and…” “Did she tell you about our shower together? Did she tell you about us washing each other? Did she?!” Maddox could not mask the surprise expression that covered his face and he shook his head no, “We talked about how much I love you. She played Stained, what are you talking about?” “Let me go,” Harper growled. “Never. Answer my question, Harper. What are you talking about?” Harper glared at him and wiped her tears away not saying a word and avoiding eye contact.
“Fine, I’ll ask her,” Maddox stood up, “Although I should be able to talk to my fucking fiancé about it.” Maddox turned to walk away and she grabbed his leg stopping him. “NO!” “Harper,” he pulled her up, “Whatever it is,” he lifted her chin, “Whatever it is, it is fucking with you hard core. Talk to be damn it!” She shook her head no. “Fine, when you’re ready.” Maddox pulled her shirt over her head and she looked down at her still swollen stomach covered with bruises. He slipped her bra over her shoulders and then pulled her pants down. Her underpants were saturated. He grabbed a towel and draped it over her shoulders and walked her to the toilet. He began pulling her underpants down and she stopped him, “Harper just stop alright. Stop fighting with me, stop fighting with yourself.” He grabbed the clothes and threw them and the pants and underpants in the garbage. “It’s a lot of blood, Maddox,” Harper’s voice squeaked. “I know,” he pulled her up and grabbed the plastic wrap and covered her wound. She looked down and whispered, “I’m disgusting.” “You’re beautiful,” Maddox took her hand and walked her into the large walk in shower. He placed her beneath the shower and gently rubbed his hands through her hair and scrubbed her scalp as she began to cry again. He turned her around and kissed her nose, “Lean back and rinse.” She looked at him, “You’re getting soaked.” He shrugged, “Doesn’t matter.” Harper took a step forward and looked down. She was ashamed of her body, ashamed of what had happened, and ashamed of the way she was treating the man she loved. He lifted her chin, “Rinse, Sweetness.” Harper looked at him and lifted his wet shirt over his head and he pulled it off. He unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down. He looked at Harper and she was looking down at his erection, “Maddox we …” “I know that, he obviously doesn’t,” Maddox smiled shyly. Harper pulled him towards her and grabbed his hair tightly and kissed him hard on the mouth, “Apparently you don’t either, but…” “Kiss me,” she pleaded, “Like before. Kiss me please.” Maddox let out a low groan as he kissed her lips and her nipples tightened as they pressed into his rock hard abs. He pulled away and grabbed the sponge and squirted soap on it. He scrubbed her body cautiously avoiding her incision site. After she was rinsed he knelt down and kissed her stomach over and over as she rubbed his head. The water was running cold when he stepped out and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. He took another and toweled his hair and then slung it around his waist. Harper’s eyes looked amusingly at him when she saw his erection had still not lessened. He looked down and smiled and shook his head. He grabbed the sweatshirt and smiled when he saw that it was the one he had left years ago. She lifted her arms and he put it over her head and bent down and kissed her nipple before pulling it down. “Sorry, Sweetness,” he smirked. She smiled and grabbed her underpants and pulled them on. She stepped into her pants and pulled them up. She tried to button them and Maddox glanced over when he heard her huff. “Take them off. I should have grabbed something different. You need to wear something loose while you heal.” “Like what a moo-moo?” Harper groaned.
Maddox pulled a pair of sweats out of his bag, “These.” She stepped into them and when they fell, he laughed. Harper looked up at him and smiled apologetically, “Not funny.” “Even my pants are protesting you being dressed.” “Well if they had eyes, they wouldn’t,” Harper pulled the drawstring and tied it. She rolled the waist of the pants so that they would stay up. Maddox grabbed a brush off the counter and started brushing her hair, “You’re perfect, Harper.” She looked in the mirror at Maddox standing behind her brushing her hair. His wet brown hair looked black and his blue eyes shimmered. As he looked down his incredibly long dark lashes fanned across his perfect checks. He stood a good five inches taller than her five foot eight frame. His shoulders were strong and he had the most beautiful chest and abs. Out of everything physically beautiful about him her favorite part of his body was his arms. Long strong arms that seemed to hold her together and pull her back to him no matter what she did, how she acted, or how hard she pushed him away for the past few months. “Maddox, I’m…” He spun her around, “Beautiful, you are beautiful. You are going through hell right now, Harper. You’ve lost so much in the past few days that you cannot even begin to make sense of it. You wonder what you did to deserve it, and you feel guilty about things that were beyond your control. You’re lashing out at me which is just fine Sweetness, I have thick skin, and I can take it.” Harper shook her head no. “Alright then what am I missing here? Please let me know.” She looked down and whispered, “You’re going to leave me. You’re going to get sick of me and there is nothing holding you to me now. You’re going to be pissed when you think about what I just said, and you’re going to hate me.” Maddox leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her contemplating what to say that wouldn’t upset her further. “You lost something, too,” Harper looked up at him nervously. “There isn’t anything I can do about it.” “We should get downstairs,” Harper looked at him. “This conversation needs to continue, Harper. I am not going anywhere unless you truly believe that’s what you want,” Maddox brushed through his hair quickly; “even then I can’t promise I will leave.” “Why? You deserve so much more than…” “If you believe that Harper, truly believe that, then you know you are my more, you are everything to me.” Maddox opened the door and they walked out into the hall. Ava was coming towards them and grinned and turned away, “I’m seriously trying not to look.” Harper laughed and looked at Maddox, “You forgot your clothes.” “I’ll change in your room,” he bent down and planted a kiss on her cheek and walked away. Ava looked up, “Band boy must be rocking the gym.” Harper smiled, “He’s always looked like that.” “No, I think he may possibly be hotter than his father. Man….father-son action is beating my brain right now.” Harper giggled when she saw Emma walking up behind Ava. Ava looked behind her and quickly back at Harper and put her finger over her lips, “Hush.” “Is Maddox up here?” “Right here, Mom,” Maddox walked out dressed in a long sleeve thermal shirt and loose jeans, “Everything alright?”
“Lexington was looking for you,” she smiled and gave him a hug, “Take your time.” Emma walked away. “Killer genetics, you two would have beautiful babies,” Ava winked at Harper. Maddox stepped beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “We will, won’t we, Sweetness?” Harper blinked rapidly and started to cry. Maddox turned her towards him and held her, “Alright.” “I don’t want to act like it didn’t happen, Maddox.” “I don’t either, Sweetness.” “You don’t?” Harper was surprised, she had thought he wanted to forget it, a secret. “Nope, not ever,” Maddox pulled her head back to his chest. “Should I go?” Ava asked. She shook her head no, “Is Liam here yet?” “I saw him downstairs; do you want me to go get him?” “She would love that, Ava. Thank you,” Maddox smiled politely. When Ava was out of ear shot Maddox looked at Harper, “Did I do or say something that made you believe I wanted to hide that our child died, Harper?” “Yes…no…I don’t know, Maddox. I’m so fucked up right now.” “I wanted it to be your choice, Harper. You’re the one whose body has been through hell. Without trying to upset you, please keep in mind that aside from the losses, the brutality you endured, and the trauma it does to our emotions, you’re dealing with huge hormonal changes as well. I …” “How do you…” “Your doctor and nurses Harper, when you slept, I spoke with them. The books I read about what to expect after you had our child also talked about post-partum depression and baby blues. After what you have gone through I would say you’re actually doing extraordinarily well. Again, you amaze me Harper.” “Maddox I’m not doing extraordinary. I’m falling apart; I honestly have thought it would’ve been easier if I had just…” Maddox lightly closed his fingers over her lips and she rolled her eyes, his lip curled up slightly, “If that ever happens, you take me with you. Although the past few days have been awful, Harper Ann Abraham-- the past month has been the best in my life. You see, I know that feeling Harper, the one you just talked about. I’ve felt that for a very long time. But now if given the choice to erase those almost sixteen years and miss out on where it has lead me… I would do it all again knowing that right here,” Maddox took her hand and held it to his chest, “inside of me is you. Harper if you just feel half as much as I feel for you we are worth it.” “I don’t want to give you just half Maddox; you deserve more than just half. I don’t know if I will ever be able to do more than what I’m doing right now. I don’t know anything anymore.” “Do you love me, Harper?” Harper shook her head yes slowly. “That’s all I need.” “You deserve more!” “Right now you are giving me all you can, Harper and I know that. I also know how much more you have to give. I’ll help you get there.” “When you hate me at the end I’m going to say I told you so.” “That’s fine because when we are one hundred and ten, I probably won’t even know what the hell you’re talking about,” Maddox smiled sweetly. Harper looked at him, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I have.” “Good to know,” Maddox’s smile deepened and touched his eyes.
He watched her smile fade and she shook her head slowly back and forth and squeezed her hand gently, “Don’t go back, Harper. Stay with me.” She started tapping her foot and took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to say something and snapped her mouth shut. “Sweetness, talk to me,” Maddox wrapped his long fingers behind her head and rubbed his thumb lightly across her swollen cheek. “Is this what you did for her?” “For…Claire?” Maddox looked confused. She shook her head yes. “No Harper,” he said softly, “Not at all.” “Well what…” “Harper and Maddox, Tessa asked that you come down when you’re ready,” Ava’s voice was soft and a bit shaky, not like normal. “Thank you Ava we will be down soon,” Maddox’s hand never left her face, he continued the soothing strokes. “You and I are strong; our love is so strong, Harper. When I was a fifteen year old boy fighting like hell to keep you away; building walls and your stubborn little ass did not take no for an answer. When I fell you caught me. I am here for you to fall into, Harper. When your head is spinning and you’re holding back, look to me to fall into.” Maddox leaned in and gently kissed her lips and she closed her eyes. He moved his head slowly to the side and ran his nose slowly up her neck breathing her in, he reached her ear and wrapped his lips softly around her ear lobe sucking softly as he whispered in her ear, “I love you, Harper.” He leaned back and looked into her moist eyes. He took her hand and they walked down the hall towards the stairs.
When they entered the family room all eyes were on them, Harper looked down and Maddox lifted her chin and smiled, “I’m not going anywhere.” They walked over to one of the couches that had been left empty and sat. Her entire family was there cousins, aunts, and uncles. Maddox lifted his arm and Harper sat with her head on his shoulder looking around at everyone who sat in the uncomfortable silence. “Mom, where are the girls?” Maddox asked breaking the hush. “The grandparents took the girls to the pond,” Emma smiled a gentle smile. “Isn’t it a bit cold for swimming?” Maddox said in his charming British accent. Everyone politely laughed. “Tough crowd huh, Harper?” Maddox smiled down at her. CJ looked around, “Well, we made the news.” Harper looked up at him and then at Maddox. “What exactly was reported?” Maddox asked CJ. “The kidnapping, Dad’s death, the three others that died,” CJ sat back and let out an exasperated breath, “We have a Grandfather who is apparently wealthy and on deaths door.” “And of course Brody and Maddox,” Zach intervened. Brody looked at Maddox and shrugged. “Is it true?” Jade, Tessa’s first cousin asked. “Yes,” Tessa said standing by the fireplace looking at family photos. “Where did you think Dad was, Jade?” Matthew joked.
“Africa, South America, I don’t really know. Tessa,” Jade stood and walked over to her and hugged her, “I am so sorry.” “Me too,” she patted Jade’s back and took a deep breath, “January third we will have a service. Apparently Tomas has everything under control. Collin had already documented what his wishes were. He was cremated and Brody pulled strings to get him home with us.” Harper’s Aunt Phoebe walked over to her and hugged her, “You don’t have to talk about this; I know this is horrible for you.” Tessa smiled and turned away from the picture and looked at everyone, “With everything I am I loved him. He and I had this conversation over and over again. Since you boys were little. I know what he expects of me and I will not let him down. We will get through this as a family, and we will stay strong for one another and for your father,” she looked at her three children. “We cannot let this break us.” “Of course not, Mom,” Matthew stood and walked over, hugged her and CJ followed suit. Harper started to stand and winced. Maddox placed his hand against her stomach and helped her up. “Mom,” Harper hugged her. Eventually everyone walked up and joined the hug. Maddox, Zach, Claire, and Brody stood and watched. When everyone had cried enough and hugged enough, for the time being they all sat. Silence filled the room once more. Tessa sat next to Harper and held her hand, “We also have good news to share. Maddox asked Collin’s permission to marry Harper, and Collin said yes.” Ava squealed and clapped. Tessa smiled at her, “I am so glad you’re here Ava, some happy noise.” “I’ll accept that as a compliment,” She flashed a dimpled grin. “It was truly intended as one. We need our friends now, just as much as we need family. We need people to make us laugh because we’re going on day two of sorrow. I am sure Collin left instruction on how long we are allowed to grieve I just haven’t gotten there yet.” Everyone laughed. “Maddox, will you?” Harper asked quietly. “Of course,” Maddox kissed her head, “We had thought of keeping this to ourselves but when we further discussed it we agreed we’d like to share a joy we were able to celebrate for a few months. Harper and I were expecting a child in a few months. When she was taken, she was beaten and the baby didn’t survive the trauma. Harper is here and that is all that…” “You were pregnant?” Ava gasped. Harper smiled and shook her head yes. “And you didn’t tell me?” Ava gasped. “Sorry Ava, but to be fair I didn’t even tell Maddox,” Harper’s voice was quiet. “He didn’t know?” Ava gasped. Harper hung her head in shame. “I really wasn’t involved at the time,” Maddox pulled her closer to him, comforting her, telling her he forgave her, “She was doing what she needed to.” Ava looked at Harper and back at Maddox. “Sorry Harper,” Liam walked and sat next to her taking her hand. “Someone beat you up, killed your baby, and shot your father?!” Ava covered her face and started to cry. She wiped her face and looked up, “I hope those fuckers are dead, because if they’re not I’m going to kill them.” Harper giggled and everyone looked at her sadly making her uncomfortable, “I love you, Ava, but you’re not a fighter.” “Don’t worry Ava, Maddox took care of it,” Matthew winked at Harper.
Maddox looked up at him and then back at Harper. Matthew chuckled, “Choked one and chucked him out the window and snapped the other’s neck.” “Matthew,” Maddox scowled at him. “What man? It was fucking awesome,” Matthew smiled. “You killed two people with your bare hands?” Ava tried to look shocked, but a grin crept across her face. Harper laughed out loud, “That’s seriously hot you know. I mean no offense to you or Emma but that fantasy is going to be impossible to erase from my mind now.” “Ava!” Lucas snapped from behind her. “Oh hey, Daddy… when did you get here?” she said in a very innocent tone and winked at Harper causing Harper to laugh, which was exactly her intention. “Just a minute ago,” Lucas answered quietly and then snapped, “You don’t talk like that.” “Oh Daddy, you have no idea what I have running through my …” “Ava Links, you are going to be grounded…” Tessa laughed loudly and so did everyone else and Lucas closed his eyes and shook his head. “She’s fine Lucas; she made us laugh. We needed that.” Tessa patted his shoulder and gave him a quick hug, “Thanks for stopping by.” “Tessa I’m so sorry,” Lucas hugged her tightly, “If you need a friend, I’m here.” Tessa felt a tear fall and finally stepped back. Lucas reached up and wiped it away, “I know and thank you. I’ll be fine, and so will they.” Lucas looked sadly at her, “Alright then.” “Where is Ashley?” Lucas gave Tessa a look and quickly answered, “Jersey.” Tessa nodded and smiled and looked around the room, “I’m very happy you all came to be with us. I know Harper is tired, I’m jet lagged. You’re all welcome to hang out but I’m going to try to get some rest. Oh and you better eat, good God… there’s enough food for a hundred people out there.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Healing Maddox talked Harper into taking a nap, with the time change and the emotional stress she needed to rest. Harper lay in bed and he stood beside it, “You haven’t slept, have you?” He shook his head no. “Because of me?” “No, my own issues,” Maddox smiled as he pulled her blanket around her. “You need to sleep, Maddox,” Harper yawned. “You need to heal,” he kissed her head, “I’ll check on you…” “No, come to bed Maddox, please,” she looked up at him sadly, “I need you…to sleep.” Maddox looked at her curiously, “You need me in order to sleep?” “I need you to sleep. You need sleep too,” Harper yawned. “There are things that need to be done,” Maddox smiled and bent down, “I’ll come back as soon as I can.” “Then fine, I need you in order to sleep,” Harper scowled. “Are you trying to trick me, Harper?” Maddox sat on the bed next to her. “I don’t know,” she whispered and pulled his arm so that he was lying down. Maddox looked at her, “We should both use the bathroom…” Harper laughed, “Oh my God, Maddox.” “What?” Harper stood off the bed still smiling, “You!” Maddox smiled back, “Just don’t want you to mess up my pants, Sweetness.” “Well WE appreciate the reminder.” Maddox smiled as he watched her walk out, completely aware that her mood may swing back at any given moment but she smiled and she laughed. For now that was good enough. He yawned, as he stood and took off his shirt and pants and started to climb into bed. He looked up and Harper was standing in the doorway smiling. “I guess I am tired,” he stood and pulled the covers down, “Come on, girl.” Harper took his sweats off, “So I won’t mess up your pants.” He smiled and looked away, “I don’t care about the pants.” Harper got into bed and lay on her back and looked at Maddox sitting on the edge of the bed, “No?” Harper watched him looking at her, his eyes traveled down to her stomach and stayed there for a few seconds. His eyes changed, there was no longer anger and rage showing in them. It was now sorrow and pain. Harper rubbed her belly feeling the same hurt. Maddox quickly looked up at her, “Does it hurt?” She took his hand and placed it on her stomach and whispered, “You tell me.” He closed his eyes and said, “I wish I could kill them again.” “What would it change?” Harper smiled sadly He smiled, “I know that’s what I said to you, right? Great words of advice huh?” Harper shook her head yes and looked down and put her hand over his, “Maddox, I’m truly sorry I
didn’t tell you before, about the baby I mean.” Maddox leaned down and kissed her stomach, “We’ve already done this conversation, I understand. I’m sorry I was such an ass, if I wasn’t, I would’ve been with you then, not…Drake,” Maddox kissed her belly one more time and sat back up. “If you weren’t an ass, I wouldn’t have gone to that concert,” Harper giggled. “And again, you wouldn’t have been in this situation,” Maddox looked down in shame. Harper continued rubbing her stomach as they sat in silence. “Hey, Maddox?” “Yes?” he looked up at her, “Please remind me when I flip out again, that I said this,” her lips curled up, “I’m a Mommy and you are a Daddy. We’re parents still.” Maddox looked slightly confused. Harper took his hand and rubbed her belly with it, “We are the most special kind of parents ever Maddox,” Harper’s voice broke and she whimpered quietly and swallowed hard, “We are parents to an angel.” Maddox smiled and looked up into her eyes, “We are.” “Yes and our little angel is keeping my dad company, and showing your mom what she missed, what she deserved to have. What some sick, sick person took from her, and in turn, took from you, my angel.” Maddox’s eyes opened wider and he looked away and then looked back at her, “I am no angel, Harper,” he cleared his throat and tried to keep his emotions in check, “But he is.” “You are,” Harper sat up and grabbed his hair in her hand, “Yes, you are.” Maddox leaned in and kissed her and ran his nose against hers. He dipped his head and kissed the base of her neck and slowly dragged his tongue up her throat to her ear. “You are everything to me,” he whispered. “I love you, Maddox,” Harper whispered. Maddox pulled his head back and kissed her lips a little harder than before, his tongue slid across her lips and she opened to him. His tongue licked hers. Each deep lick, more possessive than the one before, slowly tasting her mouth, declaring his love with each luxurious touch. Harper whimpered into his mouth and grabbed his head with both hands pulling him tighter against her, opening wider for him, wanting more of what he was giving her. Giving him more of who she was. Her door squeaked as it opened and Maddox jumped back leaving Harper dizzy and panting as he tried to control his breathlessness. “Oh I’m so sorry… No I’m not…You both know you can’t …have sex yet, right?” Tessa’s face was burning red. “Mom, we aren’t, he was just… cleaning me,” Harper gasped. Maddox groaned and hung his head. “Cleaning you?” Tessa’s voice squeaked. “Harper,” Maddox whispered. Harper threw her hands over her face, “Oh. My. God.” Tessa walked up and sat on the bed and hugged her, “its okay.” Maddox squinted his eyes shut and slowly grabbed a pillow from behind Harper and placed in on his lap. “Oh God,” Harper said when she noticed Tessa glance at the slowly moving pillow that Maddox pulled onto his bulging boxers. “Okay, okay,” Tessa tried to calm Harper down and looked towards Maddox, who was slowly opening one eye cringing at what reaction he was going to get. Tessa giggled nervously. “Mom,” Harper groaned. “Okay alright listen, I don’t know what you two are…I don’t know what you two are into but we do
have a bath…” “MOM!” “Harper I’m sorry but cleaning you? Cleaning what? Your tonsils?” Tessa laughed out loud. “I think she meant kissing her, Tessa, I was kissing her,” Maddox blushed and looked away. “No cleaning me! Nothing dirty, Mom. Like in the ambulance, Maddox, you were kissing me to comfort me and then licking and sucking…” “Dear God, Harper,” Maddox gasped and stood up. Both Harper and Tessa looked down, “Really ladies?” Maddox gasped in dismay, grabbed his jeans, threw them on, and walked out the door. Harper and Tessa both looked at each other in shock and immediately started laughing. Tessa hugged Harper as their laughter turned into tears as they held each other. Maddox opened the door, “I forgot my,” he stopped when he saw them crying. He walked over and grabbed his shirt and put it on. Tessa sat back and Harper wiped her eyes, “We’re good, right?” “We are,” Tessa smiled. “Mom I…” “I am sorry I fell apart, it won't happen again,” Tessa whispered. Maddox stood in front of them and let out a heavy breath and extended his hands, “Alright both of you come with me.” They looked at him curiously, “Please.”
Maddox lead them to the double doors leading to the master bedroom. “I don’t want to go in there,” Tessa stepped back. Maddox opened the door and walked in, “The man you loved and will always love is not in this room, Tessa. He’s in your heart and your children’s hearts. He is in their smile and their eyes. He is everywhere. In every breath and step that you take. He’s in your past, your future, and your always. The man that you loved, loved you not only in words, but the way he lived. As a man he was a protector of what he loved, it was who Collin Abraham was. He died saving his daughter, and giving the woman he loves back her child, his child. He is not in here Tessa he is forever burned into your soul.” Tessa closed her eyes and chocked back a sob; she held Harper’s hand as they walked in the room. “You both need to sleep. It’s been physically and emotionally exhausting for all of you,” Maddox walked over to the large bed and pulled back the heavy deep red duvet, “Please for each other, both of you, climb up here, and sleep.” Harper hugged Maddox tightly and kissed his cheek before climbing into the bed. Tessa stood with her eyes closed and Maddox grabbed her hand and pulled her into a strong embrace. He stepped back and motioned for her to go get into bed. Tessa climbed in and lay down and Harper hugged her tightly. Maddox pulled the covers up over them, “I will be checking on you both, if you don’t go to sleep Harper…” “We will, right Mom?” “We will,” Tessa whispered. Maddox turned and Matthew, CJ, Ava, and Liam stood in the doorway. He ran his hand through his hair, “Matthew, CJ, they may need you. That bed is plenty big enough.” Matthew and CJ both nodded at him as he walked out of the room.
Maddox walked inside the house with Harper’s bag and smiled politely at her family as he walked into the kitchen. “Hello,” he said quietly as he sat her bag on the counter. “Hello,” Harper’s Uncle Alex smiled, “Are they in bed?” “They are,” he smiled slightly as he walked to the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water. “That was really nice what you said up there,” Liam sat at a barstool at the kitchen island. “Well it was all very true,” Maddox smiled briefly and opened Harper’s bag. He grabbed the medication bottles out and looked at them. “Do you have sleeping pills in there?” Maggie asked giving Maddox a one armed hug. “One is an antibiotic, to fight infection. The other a pain pill. That one will ensure Harper sleeps,” he smiled shyly at her. “Could you give one to Tessa?” Maddox looked at her and smirked, “You’re asking me to drug your daughter?” “No Maddox, I’m insisting on it. She won’t sleep soundly otherwise, and I am a nurse so…” “Mom, seriously?” Alex laughed. “Alex, mind your business,” Maggie scolded him and kissed Maddox’s cheek, “Tell her I said so, and that I’ll be up to check on her, and that I’ll be able to tell if she is faking.” “Yes Ma’am,” Maddox smirked. “So you really killed the guy that…” Ava began. “Two guys,” Maddox looked at Ava unemotionally, “And my father shot the fucker who killed Collin.” Maggie gasped, “I apologize for the language, Maggie.” “Alright,” Maggie patted his back and left the room. Liam chuckled, “Isn’t she sweet?” “She is, just don’t upset her,” Alex laughed, “You’re lucky she didn’t make you chew on a bar of soap like she did our younger brother Jake when he was not much younger than you are Maddox.” “I’ll remember that in the future,” Maddox grabbed a glass of milk and leaned against the counter. “That’s incredibly hot you know,” Ava grinned. “Ava, I am telling you…” Lucas began. “Yes, Daddy,” she batted her eyes. Alex laughed loudly, “She is all you, Lucas.” “Well Liam here certainly isn’t you Alex,” Lucas glared at Liam. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex asked confused. “Daddy, you do like me to come home and visit, right?” Ava raised her eyebrows. “Of course I do Ava, but that…” “Daddy, I love you. But I absolutely will be staying in Charlotte and not moving back here to east bum fuck if you think you need to intrude on my private life,” Ava had a touch of sweet and a dash of hell in the way she spoke. “Well good night, or afternoon,” Maddox smiled as he walked out of the room. “Ava, I don’t think you should be trying to piss your father off,” Liam whispered. “Let’s go in the other room.” “What other room?” Lucas raised an eyebrow at Liam. “The living room, why?” Liam smiled. “Not the barn?” Lucas asked. Liam’s face turned red and Ava laughed out loud, “No, Sir.” “Now I’m Sir?” Lucas cocked his eyebrow. “Apparently,” Liam stood and left the room.
Jade and Phoebe walked into the master bedroom and saw Harper’s head resting on Tessa’s shoulder as they held hands. Both wide awake. “No invite to the slumber party?” Jade smiled sadly. “Sorry, the boys are going to stay in here tonight. It’s a big bed but not that big,” Tessa smiled, “Hop on up here until they get back.” Phoebe lay next to Harper and pulled her hair away from her face and held her other hand, “I am so sorry you went through all of that, Harper.” “Thanks Aunt Phoebe,” Harper smiled. Jade lay next to Tessa and held her hand, “You got me through Tommy, and I’m here regardless of how much you push me away, Tessa the Terrible.” “I know, but really I will be fine. We’ll be fine, right Harper?” She shook her head and smiled. “Liam and Ava told us what they overheard up here,” Phoebe rubbed Harper’s hand. “Maddox?” Harper asked. “Yep,” Jade grinned and sat up. “I may be old now but I’m not dead, that boy, or young man I should say, makes me feel like a cougar, is H.O.T hot Harper, and you and he?” “Aunt Jade, I don’t think I can handle another embarrassing conversation tonight,” Harper blushed furiously. “Oh please do tell,” Jade clapped. Tessa laughed, “May I?” “Mom seriously?” “It was the sweetest thing ever Harper, well except for him trying to hide the excitement… that was incredibly uncomfortable,” Tessa laughed. “But does the rock star hottie carry a big instrument?” Jade growled and they all laughed. Harper covered her face and laughed at them while Tessa reenacted one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. She ended her story with what he had said. “How do you not ooze when he’s around?” Jade grinned. “Aunt Jade,” Harper scolded her. “Look Harper Ann, how the hell do you think you got here? Why do you think I have so many kids? It’s a part of life,” Jade said as if it were no big deal. “The things he said are so sweet Harper, he seems incredibly romantic,” Phoebe scowled at Jade. “He writes music, he told me he thinks about me when he writes,” Harper’s voice was sweet and soft. “You love him?” Phoebe smiled at her. “Too much, I love him too much,” Harper said sadly. Maddox cleared his throat and they all looked back at him leaning on the doorway, “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Harper looked up and saw his face was red, “Hi.” “Hello. You are supposed to be asleep,” he smiled as he walked towards her. “Damn,” Jade whispered and Tessa laughed. “You won’t think its funny Tessa when I tell you that your mother insists you take this pill so that you’ll get some sleep as well.” Maddox walked to Harper’s side of the bed and held out the medicine and opened the bottle of water, “Open.” Harper opened her mouth and he put one of the pills on her tongue and handed her the water, “Swallow.”
“Holy shit,” Jade whispered and Tessa giggled again. Maddox looked over at Tessa, “Open,” he smirked and Tessa reached for the pill. “No way Mom, he said open,” Harper smiled. “Yeah Tessa, he said open,” Jade laughed. Tessa rolled her eyes and did as she was asked. “Good girls,” Maddox looked back at Harper, “One more for you. Open,” Maddox pursed his lips so he would not laugh and Harper took her pill. “What about me?” Jade giggled and opened her mouth. “Leave him alone,” Phoebe reached over and smacked her arm. Maddox smiled and kissed Harper’s forehead, “Good night, I love you.” Harper’s eyes widened and her face turned red. “I don’t know how you could possibly be embarrassed by that, growing up around all of this,” Maddox laughed at Harper, “And I warned you already, stupid love, hand holding, kisses, the whole nine yards, and then some,” he whispered in her ear as he started to stand. “Goodnight Maddox,” Jade said in a sultry voice. Maddox laughed as he left the room. “Wow,” Phoebe smiled at Harper. “Yeah, wow,” Harper smiled back and yawned. “Your head must be spinning a mile a minute, Harper Ann,” Jade smiled at her. Harper smiled and nodded. “When will you be getting married?” Phoebe asked still smiling. “I don’t know,” Harper looked at Tessa. “Whenever she wants. You two don’t mind if we get some sleep? You don’t have to leave,” Tessa let out a deep breath as she looked around the room. “We’ll be downstairs,” Jade kissed Tessa and Harper and she and Phoebe walked out of the room. Tessa lay down and Harper and she held hands again looking blankly at the ceiling. “Mom…” “Sorry Harper, I’m so sorry,” Tessa whispered. “I hate that he is gone, I hate that he died because of me,” Harper whispered. “He didn’t die because of you. He died because some crazy man wanted him to hurt. A man who never even met him, hated him because he was a good man. A good man who loved us so much,” Tessa whispered. “You have a good man now, Harper. Maddox adores you.” “I’m not always that nice to him,” Harper whispered. “You two have gone through a lot,” Tessa squeezed her hand, “Your dad liked him.” “How do I get through this Mom, Dads gone and my baby…?” “I am going to tell you how, Harper. You’re not going to act like it didn’t happen. You’re not going to get angry at yourself, you’re going to share your feelings. Losing a child at any stage is awful.” Something in Tessa’s voice left her with a question she could not ignore. Harper turned and looked at her, “Have you…Mom had you lost a baby?” Tessa smiled sadly and turned towards her, “This doesn’t get discussed again alright? Too many people would be hurt.” Harper shook her head up and down, “Of course.” Tessa closed her eyes, “I was nineteen.” “So it wasn’t Daddy’s?” “No.” “Lucas’s?” Tessa shook her head yes, “Right after high school we had been broken up for a while and got back
together. I got pregnant. Lucas was so excited and I was devastated. I was rotten for a while and then happy. The miscarriage happened on New Year’s Day. I beat myself up about it for a while. I didn’t talk to him. I kept everything inside, and then when I did talk about the hurt it wasn’t to him. Things spiraled out of control, we broke up.” “Because you lost the baby?” “Not all because of that, but I’m sure it didn’t help. I was always on guard with him, I never let him in.” “Did Dad know?” Tessa smiled, “He knew everything.” “Do you ever wish you and Lucas…?” “Heck no,” Tessa laughed, “We would’ve killed each other. Neither of us was in any place to be playing house. It was like we ran in place for years; it never really progressed beyond high school. Your Daddy, God… that man was amazing. He and I were meant to be. We have had a great life. Lucas and Ashley have a great life as well. We were supposed to be friends, that’s it.” “Did you love him?” “Of course, still do, just in a different way,” Tessa looked over at her, “Lucas and I have been friends forever. He needed someone to show him how to love and that he deserved to be loved. He had never had a female friend and he needed one to show him he was worth more. That’s all it should have ever been, and that’s the way it has been since the day I met your Daddy, Harper. I knew immediately with him.” “But… never mind,” Harper looked up at the ceiling and tears began to fall. “Harper talk to me,” Tessa sat up, “I need you to be able to talk to me.” Harper’s face scrunched up and she cried softly, “It sounds just like Maddox, Mom, he needed to…” “No Harper, your Maddox,” Tessa wiped her tears, “He is something special. You two have both known for years. I’ve known for years.” “But you …” “I am telling you, Harper Ann that he is your soul mate and you are his. I am telling you that he had so much to work through and I never thought that you should’ve turned and walked away and never looked back. I know for a fact that the times your dad and I met before getting married that I was so wrapped up in everything else going on we would have had a very bumpy road. Your father and I came together finally when it was meant to be. Our time was not then. Maddox reminds me so much of Collin, and has from day one. If you feel differently now I really think it’s because of all you have been through.” “How do I know, Mom?” “You stop thinking and start feeling.” “I love him so much.” “And I know he feels the same.” “I trust him,” Harper yawned. “I do too.”
Maddox walked into Harper’s room and walked around a bit. He was exhausted, but knew he would not sleep. He grabbed his bag and pulled out his notebook and then sat on the bed. He propped her pillows into a pile and sat back against the headboard and opened the notebook. He opened it and went through the pages that he had written when they were in Switzerland and nothing was working so there were many torn pages from his book. He smiled as he looked at the last song he had completed and actually liked enough not to discard it. Tell me you hate me the song he sang with MASS, the song he wrote for Harper.
His eyes felt heavy as he put his pen to the empty sheet of composition page. He knew it wasn’t going to happen, he never fell asleep without Harper or getting fucked up, not for more than a couple hours anyways. Maddox stood and pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his jeans leaving them in a heap on the fluffy white area rug next to her bed. He sat down in the middle of the bed and wrote. Light through the darkness. He doodled on the page writing Mrs. Maddox Hines, Harper Ann Hines, Maddox and Harper Hines, HAH and MAH. He looked at the page and laughed at himself, you’re such a fucking girl, he thought to himself and sat the book next to him and lay down. Just an hour please, just let me sleep an hour. He tossed and turned finally rolling to his stomach and growling into her pillow. He breathed in deeply and it hit him. He took another deep breath through his nose and he could smell her on the pillow. He rolled over to his side and looked around the room and saw her clothes neatly in her laundry basket. The sweatshirt she had worn most of the day laid on top of it. He hopped out of bed and grabbed it. He adjusted the pillows so they lay next to him and threw her sweatshirt over it, just a couple hours he thought as he lay down and buried his face into his makeshift Harper.
Maddox breathed in deeply and adjusted the pillows and groaned as he nuzzled into it deeper. He heard someone giggle and he blinked as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight coming through the window. He finally opened his eyes and saw Harper’s smiling face. “Good morning, Sweetness,” he yawned, “What are you doing way over there?” “Watching this absolutely gorgeous guy make out with my sweatshirt and…” Maddox looked down at the pillows and sweatshirt and rolling his eyes he flopped on his back and covered his face, “Shit.” “Busted,” Harper giggled as she walked over and sat next to him. Maddox stretched and the chuckled, “I was not making out with pillow Harper.” “Pillow Harper?” she laughed. “Uh huh, she isn’t quite as exciting, but apparently works as a good substitute,” Maddox sat up quickly and kissed her cheek, “Sweetness, if you tell anyone about this I will kick your sweet little ass.” “Tell anyone? Maddox I already put it on Facebook that my rock star stud is really just a big cuddle bear,” Harper smiled and sat back, “With picture.” Harper held up her phone and showed him the picture and he tried to grab it as he laughed. She stood up off the bed and held it up, “Oh and the notebook with the doodling Mrs. Hines… that was adorable!” Maddox jumped up out of bed and she snapped a photo, he looked down, “Sweetness, morning wood does not belong on the internet.” “Cuddle Bear, that’s not wood that’s the whole tree. Morning Thumper,” Harper laughed out loud as he walked quickly after her. She held her stomach as she squealed when he got closer he froze, “Does it hurt?” Harper’s smile softened, “Sure does, but it’s getting better every day.” “Yeah?” he asked walking slowly towards her again. “Yep,” she wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist. “Good,” Maddox kissed her lips lightly and leaned back, “I slept without you.” “Placebo effect,” she giggled. “One day you’ll realize it’s not me and then I will be nothing more than a dirty shirt to you.”
“Pretty sure that’s not true.” Harper kissed him, “I love you.” “I never want to go a day without hearing that from you again,” there was sadness in his voice. Harper looked up at him, “Sorry, I won’t ever do it again.” “That’s good because I won’t let you,” he ran his nose across her forehead. “Cuddle bear,” Harper giggled, “Could you tell Thumper as much as I adore both of you he is pushing on my boo boo.” Maddox chuckled, “Sorry Sweetness, but that’s all your fault.” “Not true.” “No?” “Nope it was the sweatshirt,” she giggled. Maddox kissed her swiftly on the head and stood back, “This place, your home feels like home. I like it here almost as much as I liked Switzerland.” Harper smiled, “I would have to agree, but the Cape is home too.” “Yeah, it has a nice feel as well,” Maddox smiled, “Speaking of feeling, I am going to shower and take care of Thumper. Then make you breakfast.” Harper laughed loudly and looked down and licked her lips, “You are a very stubborn bunny.” “You have got to stop, you’re going to drive me crazy,” Maddox walked around behind her and kissed her head as his hand reached around her and quickly went up her shirt, “And fair is fair.” Harper leaned into him and moaned, “We can’t…this is--naughty,” Maddox bit her neck and licked harshly as his thumb brushed across her nipple, “too soon…too much.” Harper forced herself to pull away and took several steps away from him and turned around. His face was flush and eyes hooded, “Not naughty, need, Sweetness.” Harper cleared her throat and walked to the bed. She grabbed the sweatshirt and tossed it to him and smiled, “See you downstairs. Have a nice shower.” Maddox laughed out loud as she opened the door. “He awake?” Tessa asked as she started to walk in. “He is but…” It was too late, Tessa popped her head in the doorway, “Good morning Mad…Oh my …” Tessa covered her face when she saw Maddox cover himself with the sweatshirt. Harper laughed out loud as Tessa walked out, she turned and saw Maddox’s natural golden color turn to beet red. “That’s twice…Thumper,” Harper giggled and shut the door behind her. Tessa looked at her and tried not to laugh, “I really need to knock from now on.” Harper looked at her mother and smiled, “We know we can’t.” “Okay good,” Tessa grabbed her daughter’s hand and walked down the stairs.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Goodbye The ride to the church was only five miles but it seemed like an eternity. In just minutes she would walk into the church filled with people who she had known all her life. All there to say goodbye to the first man she loved, the man who taught her how to ride a bike, throw a ball, and teach others to take care of themselves. A man whose life’s work was to protect and foster communities in all cultures, to gain strength from knowledge, and to train them to do the same. Harper’s father gave his life protecting her. Harper was almost thankful that her father had been cremated so that she didn’t have to sit in the front row, in her church, and stare at his lifeless body while listening to her Pastor. They started the service with a hymn. Maddox sat beside her in his black suit, with his arm around her shoulder, his finger stroked her arm softly as he tried to comfort her. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and she looked down at the floor, he pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head where it stayed. Maddox looked about the room at the hundreds of photos of Collin and his wife, children, and extended family. He spotted a few from the times their families had been together. He smiled slightly at one of him and Harper at the Cape. He noticed Collin in the background with his arms crossed over his chest watching them as they laughed at something. He saw the small smile on Collin’s face and smiled. He looked down at Harper again. Her hands were folded on her lap as she tried not to play with them. He took her hand and kissed it and held it on his knee. He looked at Tessa and she was watching him. She smiled sadly and looked towards the picture he had been admiring. Her lips curled up a bit more and he smiled knowing that she was telling him Collin accepted him in their lives even then. He took his hand off Harper’s shoulder and placed it on Tessa’s and she patted it and looked back towards the Pastor as she held onto his hand. Brody and Emma sat directly behind them. He squeezed Emma’s hand when he saw his son comforting Tessa. Emma smiled up at Brody and beamed with pride just as he did. Tomas walked up to the front of the church and smiled at Tessa and then the kids and read his very well prepared Eulogy. Harper looked over at her mother as they both wiped their eyes, “Daddy.” Tessa’s lips curled up slightly, “Without a doubt.” Harper sat back against Maddox’s shoulder and he looked down at her and kissed her head, “Dad wrote his own eulogy.” He recognized sadness in her voice and nodded. He looked back at Brody and shook his head yes. Brody looked up at Tomas who was stepping away from the microphone and nodded. Tomas whispered to the Pastor and he smiled. Maddox kissed Harper and squeezed Tessa’s hand before he stood and stepped out of the pew into the aisle. Brody joined him and patted him on the shoulder. Harper watched them wondering what he would say about her father. Tomas handed them each a guitar and Maddox let out a deep breath and looked at Brody. When the music began Harper immediately knew the song by the notes he played. As Brody and Maddox sang Amazing Grace there was not a dry eye in the church. It was an acoustic rendition that filled the air. Harper smiled at Maddox as tears fell down her face. It was not haunting like it felt at other funeral services. It did not hang heavy over her making her pain worsen. It lifted her sorrow, elevated her pain, and gave her hope that time would not only heal the hurt inside her but that of her mother and her brothers
and of all whose lives Collin Abraham had touched. When the song finished, Harper kissed her fingers and touched her heart and Maddox did the same in return. Maddox looked at Brody and Brody walked down the steps and sat next to Emma. Maddox began playing again, a song she didn’t recognize. She watched him as he began to sing a song of beautiful things. She smiled and cried happy tears when she realized what it meant to him and more importantly what it meant to them. Harper looked at Tessa and hugged her tightly as he sang. “Daddy called you beautiful all the time,” she whispered into her ear. “He did,” she smiled. “He and I made three beautiful things,” Tessa smiled as they both wiped tears off each other’s faces. Tessa sat back and leaned against CJ and reached beside him and held Matthew’s hand as Harper held her other hand. All around, hope is springing up from this old ground. Out of chaos life is being found in you. You make beautiful things; you make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things you make beautiful things out of us.
Maddox ended the song and looked up at Harper; he gave her a tiny little smile and looked around as he set the guitar down. The tears he saw on the congregation’s faces were falling down hopeful faces now. None of them mattered, it was Harper and her family that he had wished to give hope to. Maddox sat next to Harper and she grabbed his hand, “Did you write that?” He shook his head no, “A group called Gungor, it’s called Beautiful Things. Did you like it?” “I loved it, so did she,” Harper nodded towards Tessa, “Dad used to…” “Call her beautiful all the time,” Maddox smiled and held her hand, “It was for all of you Harper, but for our angel too.” Harper’s eyes widened when she realized what he was saying, “I love you.” He smiled, “I love you too.” Tessa had heard what he had said and reached across and patted his back, “Thank you.” He nodded and smiled softly. The service ended and Tessa waited for the people to exit the sanctuary. Following the service the women’s group had organized a dinner in the fellowship hall. The family walked around and looked at the pictures and Tessa stood looking at the ground hugging herself. Her father, John, walked up and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she looked up and held his hand, “You’re doing real well Tessa.” “Thanks Dad,” she smiled, “I have to be strong.” “Not always,” he kissed her head and pulled it to his shoulder. “I know why you’re standing here, Tessa.” She smiled and looked up at him, “Yeah?” “This is where he proposed. You were wearing a blue dress, he told everyone what an ass he was and that you told him, he ‘would be on one knee in front of God and his family before he had a chance’.” Tessa smiled and shook her head yes, “He kept his word to you from that point on. He loved you.” “I loved him,” Tessa smiled and tears began to fall. “You going to keep your promise to him, Tessa?” “What do you mean, Dad?” Tessa scowled. “I remember being at that one’s wedding in Jersey,” John pointed to the enormous spray on the table before them of white Gerber daises and yellow roses. “Lucas?” “Yes. You thought you had lost Collin that day. You told Lucas to leave because he had a reception to
get to and you had two little boys that needed you. I also remember a conversation where Collin made you promise that whatever happened, when he was away you would stay strong and live your life, you promised him you would.” John looked at her, “I’ll make you keep that promise, because it’s not only what you promised Collin, but I need you to also.” Tessa kissed her father’s cheek, “I will be strong.” “I know you will, but if I see you’re not, I’ll give you a swift kick in the right direction,” John chuckled, “Promise?” “Yes Dad.”
Maddox was standing in front of the picture he had noticed during the service when Harper finally made it back to him. She rubbed his back, “You were even gorgeous then.” Maddox chuckled, “I never saw him look at me that way. I always saw the warning in his eyes when he and I chatted back then. “You’re just like him,” Harper smiled sadly. “You think so?” “I do.” Maddox turned and looked at her, “I do?” Harper smiled, “I will.” “When?” “After all this dies down,” Harper said and then gasped, “I said dies down.” Maddox smiled adoringly at her, “I’m the only one who heard you and all I’m thinking is I do.” Harper blushed, the way he was looking at her melted her heart. The way her dad looked at the two of them in the photo made her certain he was up in heaven holding their angel, rooting for them. Just as he had rooted for her at every field hockey and softball game she had ever played. An overwhelming sense of acceptance rushed through her almost making her knees buckle. Maddox grabbed her quickly when he noticed, “You need to rest, damn it. This has all been too much.” Harper hugged him and laughed loudly. The room went silent and everyone looked at Maddox’s shocked face, he immediately lifted her so her feet were off the ground. She continued laughing into his shoulder as he walked out the emergency exit carrying her. Once outside he set her on the sidewalk, “Sweetness, it’s going to be…” Harper laughed even louder and raised both hands in the air, “Going to be fine!” “I think we need to get you home, today has been…” Harper lunged towards him and grabbed his face. Maddox’s eyes widened, “I felt it!” Maddox shook his head slowly agreeing with whatever it was she trying to say and then looked at her like she was crazy which made her laugh harder. “Okay,” Maddox put one arm around her, “Let’s just take a drive…” “Maddox, my dad is holding our baby in heaven,” Maddox looked sadly at the girl he loved like she was having some sort of psychotic breakdown. “He wants you and I to be happy, he wants all of us to be happy,” Harper raised her hands in the air again. Maddox took the opportunity to lift her up wanting to get her away from this place. She wrapped her legs around his waist and arms tightly around his neck and leaned up and kissed him hard on the mouth. Maddox slowly pulled back, “We really should get you somewhere.”
Harper smiled and took his face in her hands again, “I love you, I’m alright, better than alright.” Maddox glanced behind Harper and her whole family was standing watching them. Harper kissed him again. She heard a loud whistle and laughed against Maddox’s mouth, “Ava?” Maddox peeked around them again and shook his head yes. Harper unwrapped her legs and he set her on the ground. “I felt it Maddox, I felt my father when we were in there. Everything is going to be alright,” she whispered as she smiled up at him. He shook his head yes, “Your whole family and many others are watching us right now.” Harper giggled. Maddox tried not to smile, “If you want we could leave for a while so that you can get yourself together and…” “Do you believe me?” “I do. Something happened and I would prefer not to think that my future wife has gone mad, this early into our forever,” Maddox smirked. Tessa walked up and looked at Harper, “You alright?” “I felt Dad here, Mom,” she whispered. Tessa smiled, “Yeah?” Harper shook her head quickly up and down. Tessa hugged her and whispered into her ear, “Me too.” “Everything is going to be alright, Mom.” “I know.” Tessa smiled and looked at Maddox who was still a bit uneasy, “You alright?” He looked at Harper and raised his eyebrows. She blushed and smiled, “I’m not crazy.” “It wouldn’t matter if you were,” Maddox laughed when she pushed him. “Shall we go in?” Tessa asked. “Yes,” Harper held her hand and grabbed Maddox’s and they walked past everyone into the church. The women’s group was busy setting up the food and Tessa and the entire family stood in a procession line and one by one everyone came through and offered condolences, gave hugs, and some even kissed them. Harper and Maddox moved to the end of the line after many of her classmates stood and talked to Harper asking questions about her and Maddox holding up the line. Maddox stood with his arm around Harper supportively and protectively. Ava was one of the last people to come through. “You all better now?” She smiled as she hugged Harper. “Yes I am,” Harper laughed, quietly this time. “We need a road trip,” Ava smirked and looked at Maddox who looked at her and away quickly. “What hot stuff, you can come too, maybe get the drummer on board, hit up Spring Break or Mardi Gras. You know whoop it up before the nuptials.” Maddox looked at Harper stone faced and she smiled at him, “It might be fun you know.” Maddox opened his mouth, closed it and then forced a smile. “If you would like to we can do that.” Ava clapped loudly and winked at Maddox. “Perfect! Call S and have him join us.” “You’re holding up the line,” Lucas scowled at Ava and nudged her with his hip. Tessa laughed and looked back at Ashley, she stuck out her hand and Ashley smiled, “I’m very sorry for your loss.” Tessa smiled, “Thanks.” Lucas hugged her and whispered, “Sorry Tessa, I really am, he was a great guy.”
“Thanks again, Lucas. Oh and the flowers were beautiful.” Lucas smiled and hugged Harper, “Sorry about your dad and your child.” “Thanks Lucas” Harper hugged him back. Maddox smiled at Lucas and shook his hand, “Big shoes to fill, Maddox.” “Yes sir,” Maddox smiled politely. “From what I understand you fit the bill,” Lucas smiled back. “I’ll do whatever I can.” “If you ever need anything feel free to call me,” Lucas handed him his card and walked away. When everyone but close family had left Maddox pulled out a chair, “Tired?” “Yes actually,” Harper sat. “How is your belly?” “Fat,” she laughed. “Is not,” Maddox smiled as he knelt in front of her. Harper took his hand and placed it on her stomach and smiled sadly, “It’s not hard anymore.” Maddox smiled and leaned forward and kissed it, “It’s perfect, Sweetness.” “I have an appointment in two days,” Harper yawned. “Yes we do,” Maddox sat back on his heels and looked up at her. “You don’t have to go, it’s not like you’ll miss anything like a heartbeat or…” “I’m going with you.” “Luke!” Tessa gasped and Harper looked up and smiled. “Hey Aunt Tessa,” Maddox watched the tall handsome dark haired man hug Tessa and he picked her up and swung her around. His hair was short, high and tight. He was not bulky but he had a nice build. Ava sat down next to Harper and moaned loudly and Harper laughed. “That is one fine piece of US Army property,” Ava rolled her eyes dramatically. Maddox looked at Harper curiously. “My cousin Luke Lane. He is Jade’s first born son…” “And hot as hell,” Ava growled. Harper rolled her eyes and looked back at Maddox, “Moms’ and Lucas’ godson.” Lucas laughed out loud and walked up to him and hugged him, “They let you come home?” “Yes, I have two weeks leave,” Luke patted him on the back. “That’s it?” Tessa asked. “I have two more weeks this summer and then my time is up.” Luke looked back at Tessa, “I am so sorry. Mom told me what happened and I would have been here sooner, but… you know.” “You’re here now,” she hugged him again. “Where is Harper and the guys?” “Harper is over there,” Tessa pointed, “The boys are helping put away the last of the chairs and tables.” “Everyone going to your place after?” “Everyone is more than welcome to, we have so much food up there that is going to get tossed if you all don’t come up,” Tessa smiled. “Perfect, I’m going to go say hi to her.” Luke walked up to Harper, “Hey there girl. I’m very sorry for your, fuck Harper, for all of it.” Harper stood and hugged him, “Thanks, everything is getting better.” “Alright then,” Luke looked at Maddox and smiled, “Maddox Hines.” Maddox shook his hand, “Nice to meet you.” “Yeah, you too. So you and Harper-- huh?” Luke smiled.
“Yes,” Maddox nodded “Harper and I are engaged to be married.” “Do you have a date yet?” Maddox looked at Harper and they both smiled at each other, “We need to come up with a new one.” “I’ll be home on leave for two weeks starting July third.” Maddox looked at Harper, “We can’t wait that long.” “Awe come on,” Luke goaded. “We could do the reception at the Cape then,” Harper offered and then looked at Maddox. “We’ll be married before then,” Maddox raised his eyebrow. “Are you asking her or telling her?” Ava leaned forward and looked at Maddox. “Neither,” Maddox gave Ava a look. “Well maybe you should ASK her what she wants. Don’t just leave her waiting so you get to call all the shots!” Ava stood up and stormed away. Luke looked at the ground and turned red. Harper laughed, “I don’t think that was at all about us, Maddox.” Luke looked up at her and back down quickly, “Hey, I um…will see you at your place in a little bit okay?” “Of course,” Harper laughed as he walked away.
CHAPTER NINETEEN Answers Harper’s doctor appointment had gone very well. Her doctor was not as concerned about the amount of bleeding as Maddox was. Harper was slightly amused at the amount of questions that Maddox asked and even more amused that he actually took notes. Her doctor was very patient with Maddox even when Harper was fully dressed and standing next to the door the conversation continued. Just as Harper was about to tell Maddox that was enough the doctor asked for his autograph and Harper smiled to herself now realizing why he had been so patient, he was a fan. When they got into the Jeep, Harper laughed at Maddox, “What?” he asked. Harper laughed and looked away. “Fine, maybe I did ask a lot of questions. I just want to be sure you're alright.” He smiled as he started the Jeep and backed out of the parking spot, “You know--- I kind of love you and stuff.” Harper laughed, “I kind of love you and stuff too.” “Cool, so in two weeks you go back, and if all is well…” Maddox smirked as he pulled onto the road. Harper smiled, “If all goes well what?” He glanced out of the corner of his eye, “I get to,” Maddox stopped and smiled and winked at her, “Do you, and stuff.” “Like what kind of stuff?” Harper whispered. “All kinds of stuff,” Maddox swallowed. “Come on, tell me what you’ll do first,” Harper rested her chin on her hand. “Well first of all I’m just about starving,” he grinned, “I miss tasting you.” “I miss tasting you too,” Harper grinned. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah,” Harper laughed. It was quiet for a few minutes, “Sweetness, do you have a dentist appointment in the morning?” “No why?” Harper was confused as to why he would ask such a thing and she looked down. “Just wondering.” “Does Thumper want kisses?” Maddox laughed, “You are a naughty girl what would even make you think that…” Harper unbuttoned his pants and reached down and felt the slick tip of his rock hard erection. “Hey there, Thumper,” Harper whispered. “He says hey back,” Maddox groaned as she unzipped him and pulled his cock free of his pants. “I have missed you,” she bent over the console and kissed him lightly. He twitched in her hand. “Harper I was just kidding about the…FUCK!” he roared when she licked the pre cum off of him, “I can’t give back Sweetness… you should just,” he hissed loudly when she took more of him in her mouth. His hips lunged forward and she moaned, “Listen, you need to...” Harper took him into her mouth as far as she could; “Stop now before, Harper damn,” his hips thrust forward again and he started to slow the vehicle down. Harper moved faster and he cried out her name and his hand reached between her and the console she was leaning over and grabbed her breast. “Fuck Harper, I’m going to cum so fucking hard.” Harper moaned with him in her mouth and he growled loudly between clenched teeth as he slowly tried to pull over.
A horn blew loudly as it passed them and she didn’t stop, “Sweetness, I need you to stop so I can pull the fuck over…damn, damn, damn!” Harper laughed as she moved up and down his length hollowing her cheeks at his tip and another car passed them and blew their horn. Unsure if they were still driving down the road or pulled over Harper moved faster and when the first hot thick burst shot into her mouth she tried to swallow the next one came and as she licked him savagely another car honked as it passed. The third burst gagged her and spilled out of her mouth as she tried to swallow it. Harper was panting as she moved up and down on him licking and sucking until she knew he was empty. Harper sat up and Maddox looked at her. His face was red and he was breathless and panting, “Thank…you…Sweetness.” Harper licked his cum from her lips and smirked, “The least I could do for the man who saved my life.” Maddox pulled over and a line of cars past them honking; some even had passengers hanging out the window flipping them off. Harper laughed as she opened the glove box and grabbed a package of tissues. She started to wipe him clean and he laughed, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Maddox looked down at the mess and laughed, “T would be proud. I just got a sloppy blow job,” Maddox took the tissues and cleaned up the best he could. He looked at Harper and winked, “You are fucking amazing.” “I know,” she smiled and they both laughed. “But seriously, Harper, you don’t have to do that for me. I can’t do a damn thing for you right now.” “You just did,” Harper smiled at him. “Oh yeah?” “Uh huh.” Maddox pulled back out onto the road with a huge smile across his face, “I owe you big.” “Yeah you do,” Harper laughed, “Maddox, don’t you like, take care of yourself in the shower?” “Sometimes,” Maddox laughed uncomfortably. “Oh.” “Oh? No way… spill it,” he laughed. “Well that was a lot of…stuff.” Maddox laughed, “It’s different.” “What do you mean?” Harper asked looking over at him. “Well, I don’t know how to say this without potentially pissing you off so that doesn’t happen as often as I would like.” “Just tell me,” Harper rolled her eyes and took a drink of water. “Alright. When I used to be a very bad boy, you know…” “Guitar or drums?” Maddox wanted to laugh but he didn’t, “Yeah. Basically cumming is cumming and an orgasm is an orgasm.” “So every time you have an orgasm it doesn’t feel the same?” “No, Harper.” “Oh,” Harper sat back and looked at him with a question in her eyes and then looked out the window. “Jerking off in the shower is a chore, seriously I just wanted the release. But with you I don’t want the release I want to be inside of you whenever I can be, to enjoy you. When I finally know I have satisfied you, I can really let go.” Harper smiled and nodded her head. They heard sirens and Maddox looked into the rearview mirror, “Shit.” He looked down at the speedometer and it said eighty miles per hour.
He pulled off to the side of the road and continued buttoning himself up. The cop asked for his license and registration and Maddox handed it to him. When the officer walked back he handed him his belongings back, “You’re Maddox Hines?” “I am.” “Slow it down and uh, could I have your autograph?” Maddox smiled and handed him the empty citation with the autograph and then pulled back out onto the road. “Maddox Hines, your stardom is so cool. You better not stop being a rock star.” “I already promised we would be done with all of that.” “Well after all that has happened in the past…Maddox, what happened was my fault not you or your music or…” “What happened is not your fault, Harper,” Maddox grabbed her hand. “Well neither was everything that happened to you,” Harper whispered, “I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way.” “Well look at us, Harper,” Maddox squeezed her hand, “I think both of us are growing up and I think it has a lot to do with our angel.” Harper leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, “Maddox, I really think you are amazing. You’re talented, and so damn perfect.” Maddox chuckled, “Perfect is a little much.” “No Maddox, it’s not enough,” she whispered. “Well do keep going, I get a blow job driving down the road and I’m amazing and perfect, don’t stop there Sweetness, keep it coming.” Maddox kissed her head. “I love watching you perform,” Harper giggled. “Oh yeah?” “Uh huh. It’s very sexy.” “Yeah?” “Uh huh, it’s like hours’ worth of foreplay,” Harper whispered. “Jesus Harper!” Maddox groaned as she stroked him over his jeans. “You said keep it coming,” Harper laughed as she undid his pants again. “You’re insatiable.” “I want you to still sing in the band,” Harper pulled him free from his pants. “I already quit and I like performing for an audience of one much better,” he hissed as her grip tightened. “Do the US stops you have lined up with Burning Souls and then make up your mind. You said you’d start school in the fall. What would you do until then?” “You, I would fucking do you,” his jaw tightened and her hand moved faster. “We are going to make a mess again, Sweetness.” “You can still do me,” Harper kissed his neck and moved up to his ear. “You have to …do we have to talk about this right now?” “Promise me you’ll stick with it,” Harper licked his earlobe. “Promise me you’ll come with me?” Maddox growled. Harper’s hand moved faster and she bent over again and kissed his head, “Not this time, but we’ll discuss the tour later.” Harper took him in her mouth and slowly moved up and down the rest of the way home. They pulled into the driveway right after his release, “Un-fucking-real.” Harper smiled proudly and he laughed, “Good?” “Perfect Sweetness, you just made love to Thumper with your mouth.”
“Not a sloppy blow job?” Harper laughed. “No Sweetness, I’m going to have to come up with a name for what you just did to me soon though,” Maddox laughed as he put the Jeep in park and kissed her. Harper laughed and they kissed again. She opened her door and saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Maddox looked at her curiously and she shrugged her shoulders. He grabbed her hand and walked towards the house.
They walked in and two men sat at the large dining room table with Tessa, Tomas, John, and Brody. Maddox looked at his father’s face and knew he was on edge. Tessa stood up quickly and went to Harper and hugged her, “Everything alright?” Harper nodded yes, “She’s doing great,” Maddox smiled quickly and nodded to the table, “Everything alright here?” “These men work for Harrison Dunlop,” Tessa looked at Harper, “Your dad’s biological father.” Harper immediately tensed up and Maddox pulled her into his side, wrapping his arm protectively around her shoulder, “You’re fine, I have got you.” “Brody mentioned he called Collin before, before he passed,” Tessa whispered. Harper shook her head up and down and looked nervously into Tessa’s eyes. “Your brothers are on their way back from helping Grandma and then I want you all to come sit down and hear what these men have to say.” Tessa sat down at the table and Harper and Maddox sat next to her. “Is this Harper?” one of the men asked. Maddox answered a stern, “Yes.” “Harrison would like to meet you,” he began. “You’ll wait for her brothers to continue this conversation. She only needs to hear your plea one time,” Brody looked at him coldly. The man nodded once and sat back. Matthew and CJ came in and sat near their mother and sister. Tessa tried to smile at them but failed, “What’s going on, Mom?” CJ looked at the men. “We work for a man named Harrison Dunlop…” “As in Atticus Dunlop’s father?” Matthew snapped. “Yes, and Collin’s father,” the smaller of the two men relayed with sincerity in his voice. The other man cleared his throat, “Harrison asked that he meet you all.” “That’s not going to happen,” Maddox sputtered. The man looked at him, “He’s dying. Against medical advice he and his medical team have flown to Syracuse. This is probably the last time he will travel and he did so wanting to meet his grandchildren.” “Waste of a…” Harper squeezed his hand stopping him. Maddox looked at her with concern. “This is up to the three of you, I will support any decision you make,” Tessa looked between her three grown children. “We ask that you make the decision based on who Harrison is; he is nothing like Atticus, he is a good man,” he pulled four plastic covered booklets out of his bag and sat them in front of Tessa. “We’ll wait in the car for you to talk this over. I would like you to keep in mind that the issue is extremely time sensitive.” With that the men left the house and Tessa looked down at the bound reports. “Do you three want to meet him, if not we don’t have to bother with these.”
“Do you, Mom?” “I don’t know, Matthew. I really don’t know, whatever you all decide is fine with me,” Tessa sat and waited. CJ grabbed a report, “You know what they say about curiosity?” Matthew chuckled and took one, “Yeah but we aren’t damn cats are we, Harper?” Maddox felt her tremble slightly, “She’s not ready for this.” “Why don’t you let her make up her own…?” “You need to back off of her,” Maddox growled. “It’s fine, Maddox,” Harper let out a deep breath and sat up. “You’re not fine, Harper, you were shaking,” Maddox snapped as he looked at her brothers. “Do you two know what she has been through?!” Both of her brothers looked up at him. Matthew was visibly angry and CJ looked confused, “Of course we do.” “Maddox it’s fine,” Harper opened the folder and felt his hand on her knee tighten a bit, “Maddox, come with me for a minute.” She stood and he followed her into the bathroom. She shut the door and looked at him. His jaw muscles tightened and flexed and his eyes were dark and worried. She sat on the counter and curled her finger towards her asking him to come. She put her hands behind his neck and gently ran her fingernails through his hair, “Please relax.” “You trembled,” he closed his eyes. “I was cold,” she whispered. His eyes opened and he looked at her with concern, “Harper, what you have been through.” “Less than twenty minutes ago we were laughing,” Maddox tried to interrupt her and she closed his lips with her fingers and smiled, “I was thinking that…I wished my dad could have met his father. I want to know if,” Harper paused, “Maddox he was brought up a lot like you. His childhood was awful too. You met Brody, and well, what if Harrison is like him. What if…” “If he was like Brody he would not have raised a monster like Atticus. If you need this Harper, I’m going with you.” Harper smiled, “Of course you are.” Maddox watched her eyes and she seemed to have made up her mind, “Alright then.” Harper hugged him and let out a deep cleansing breath against his neck. Maddox closed his eyes and his fingers gently ran up and down her spine, he felt her body relax with each upward motion. He kissed her head and ran his nose across it as he held her. After several minutes she sat up and smiled, “The calm to my storm.” “I don’t want the damn storm for you anymore,” he looked down sadly, “I want Switzerland.” Harper smiled and he looked up and gave her a small smile back. “We get through this and …” “Then you want me to go on tour,” Maddox looked at her nervously. “I will go too, just let me…” “You will?” Harper smiled at his surprise, “Did you think I wouldn’t?” “You said we would talk about it later,” Maddox said using his best Harper impression and she laughed. “Actually, you said we would while I was busy. I have to finish up my internship, and how that all works from here. Then I’m all yours.” “Meet the monster, figure out school, and get shit ready for the tour…”
Maddox was making a mental note of all he had to do and Harper laughed, “He might not be a monster.” “Sorry Sweetness, that’s not, I hope not. I really do,” Maddox picked her up and sat her feet on the ground. “No bus right, like a tour bus, we don’t have to do that do we?” “We don’t have to, no. You and I will get hotel rooms,” Maddox’s eyes sparkled, “Tour kicks off at the Garden.” Harper smiled and bit her lip, “Our Switzerland.” “Yeah,” he started to lift the hem of her shirt and she looked down. “I need a damn gym,” she pushed his hand away. “No you don’t,” he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her against him, “Beautiful, absolutely perfect.”
They drove down route 41A and turned left onto Genesee Street. Harper looked at Tessa and squeezed her hand. Tessa looked out the window as they pulled into the Hotel and Spa that she and Collin had spent every Valentine’s Day at when the kids were at school. She closed her eyes and let the memories of couple’s massages and heat filled nights in front of the fireplace in their favorite French country cottage run through her mind. The SUV pulled around back and parked next to Harrison’s peoples’ car. There was a man who looked exactly like the two they followed standing in the door. Matthew looked at CJ and laughed, “Men in Black, do you think he’s an alien?” CJ looked at Tessa, concerned it would upset her, and Tessa smiled. They all sat watching as several people came out of the cottage door. “Give us a minute,” Brody and Tomas passed a look between them and stepped out of the vehicle. Maddox watched as his father and Tomas spoke to the men. Tomas walked inside and Brody came back to the SUV. “Tomas is going to check things out before we go in,” Brody grabbed his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Clive who was back at the house with Emma, the girls and the rest of the family. Maddox watched his face and knew he was worried, “Dad, if there’s something you’re worried about we shouldn’t do this.” “No, they need this. I’m just making sure everything is alright back at the house.” Tessa started to laugh and Harper looked at her, “Mom, are you alright?” “Yes, this is just,” she started laughing again. “Tessa we should go back,” Brody started opening the door. Tessa snapped, “No.” Everyone looked at her surprised. “This is my husband’s father. Look at us,” she waved her hand around to everyone, “We are all sitting here waiting for a fucking bomb to drop!” The boys gasped which made Tessa laugh. “I swear, sometimes I swear. I get pissed and I laugh because I want to be happy! I will not sit in fear, or let any of you either. He is an old man who is dying and we are acting like he can take what we have left away from us. I won’t live like this and neither will any of the people I love.” Tessa started to open the door and Brody stopped her, “Brody, I swear to God…” “I promised I would watch over all of you and I will not go back on my word,” His voice was deep and direct.
“I have lived like this for years, being directed. I love Collin and that man is the only one I would ever allow to make decisions for me. The only man I wanted to take care of me. He is gone and that ends now.” Tessa pushed Brody’s hand away from blocking the door and got out. She started walking towards the door and Harper jumped out behind her and grabbed her hand and they walked towards the door together. Matthew and Collin laughed as they caught up, “Mom’s a bad ass.” “Mom didn’t have to be before, but she’s back,” Tessa laughed and looked at the man standing in front of the entry. He stood in their way and didn’t move. Maddox stood in front of Tessa. “He asked for them to come and you’re going to block the door? Get the…” “Harper’s man is badass, too,” Matthew laughed. “Do you need ID?” Tessa snapped. The man tried not to smile, “I was told by Mr. Tomas that you were to wait.” “Mr. Tomas is not my keeper and I’m feeling real feisty right now so you may want to…” Tomas opened the door. “Thank you Mitchell,” Tomas opened the door, “It’s just Harrison and his personal assistant, come on in.” Maddox grabbed Harper’s hand tightly and whispered in her ear, “If this gets to be too much…” “I’m fine. You do know I’m her daughter, right?” Maddox smiled, “You do know I have known you for years, right?” Tessa looked back and laughed, “She’s right Maddox, in fifty years I don’t want to hear why didn’t you warn me about her.” Maddox smiled and looked at Harper, “I will take her whatever way she comes.” Tessa laughed and covered her mouth and Maddox’s jaw dropped, “That’s not what I mean.” Harper laughed out loud, “Again, I’m her daughter.” They all stood in the room waiting for their host to come out of the bedroom smiling at each other. The door opened to the adjoining room and Harrison was wheeled out. Harper looked up at her mother and watched her reaction to an older version of Collin in a wheel chair. He looked up and took a deep breath from the oxygen mask he held in his hand. It took him several moments to compose himself, to reel back in the emotions that he felt flooding him. “Hello, I am Harrison,” he looked at Harper sadly, “I’m so sorry, dear one.” Harper tried to smile but holding back the tears she was unable, she shook her head quickly up and down. Harrison’s eyes widened and he inhaled through the mask again and swallowed hard. He wiped away tears, “I’m also sorry about this. I normally don’t …” he took another breath and looked down, “I don’t even know what to say to you all.” Harper let go of Maddox’s hand and ran to him and fell to her knees. She grabbed his hand and used her other to wipe his tears, “You look just like him.” He let out a breath and wiped at her tears, “I wish I could’ve known him.” Maddox squatted down next to her and rubbed her back. “Harrison this is Maddox,” Harper smiled. “The man who…protected you,” Harrison held out his hand to shake Maddox’s. Maddox looked at him, “I would do it again.” Harrison smiled softly, “I am very happy to hear that.” Maddox shook his hand and Harper smiled at him, “Matthew and Collin John, or CJ as we call him are right here.”
They stood beside her and shook his hand, “Hello.” “Hello,” they both responded. “The twins,” Harrison smiled, “Three grandchildren” “Mom,” Harper stood up and motioned for her. Tessa walked up to him and stuck out her hand and started to introduce herself. “Tessa Ann Abraham. Collin’s wife and mother of his three beautiful children,” Harrison shook her hand. They spent the next few hours talking about Collin. Telling Harrison stories about him and all that he did and gave and the way he loved and protected them. Harrison smiled and listened to their stories. There were tears and laughter. Harrison had dinner brought to the room and they all ate and continued sharing stories about Collin for a few more hours. Tessa noticed Harrison was beginning to appear uncomfortable and tired. “Harrison needs to rest,” she smiled at her children. “I don’t want to yet. We still have so much to talk about,” Harrison objected. “We can come back,” Harper smiled brightly at him. “I would love that,” Harrison’s smile matched hers. “Maybe tonight we could…” “Harper, he needs to rest,” Tessa patted her shoulder. “But Mom…” Harrison laughed. “Fine, how long will you be here?” “Awhile,” Harrison patted her hand. “Awhile like a week or awhile like a couple days?” Harper demanded. Harrison laughed, “Awhile like I really can’t answer that.” Tessa understood what he was saying, “You shouldn’t travel.” Harrison shook his head slowly from side to side. Harper looked angry when she realized what they meant. As always, Maddox was watching her. He took her hand and rubbed his thumb across the back of it. She looked up at him and her lip quivered. He pulled her towards him and she laid her head against his neck. She took a deep breath. His scent and touch were her sedative, her comfort, and her solace. He stroked her back as she continued taking deep breaths until he could tell she was relaxed once again. Harper looked up at him sadly. He lowered his head and held his lips against hers as he looked her in the eyes. No movement, just him right there with her, holding her together, supporting her, loving her. He felt a slight smile against his mouth and pulled back and whispered, “Better?” She shook her head yes.
CHAPTER TWENTY Switzerland The ride home was quiet and when they finally returned to the house it was as quiet. Harper smiled at Emma, “The girls in bed?” Emma hugged her tightly, stood back, and rubbed her arms up and down slowly, “They’re both starting school in the morning.” Harper looked at Maddox stunned, “I forgot. Oh how could I forget that’s…?” Maddox handed her his phone, “We messaged all afternoon.” Harper thumbed through the messages, “She’s got to know that was not me replying,” Harper laughed. Maddox smirked and shook his head no, “I don’t say things in that tone.” “A tone, it’s a message, Sweetness,” Maddox chuckled. “Emma, did she know?” Emma tried not to laugh, “Sorry, Harper, but she absolutely thought it was you. She thought you were texting for Maddox too.” Harper giggled, “Well good.” Maddox smiled, “You tired?” “I’m exhausted.” “Let’s go to bed,” Maddox pulled her behind him. “Wait,” she laughed. Maddox let out a frustrated groan and dropped her hand. She kissed his cheek and walked quickly into the kitchen. Tessa and Emma stopped talking when she walked in, “Really?” she laughed and then whispered, “I know the truth about Santa, and the tooth fairy.” Maddox laughed from behind her, “So fucking adorable.” “Maddox,” Emma scolded him. “Oh sorry but she is,” Harper blushed as she looked at him, “You are, incredibly adorable.” “Oh wow did the doctor give you the go ahead?” Tessa whispered the last part. Brody chuckled as he walked in and Emma scowled at him. Maddox blushed and Harper laughed loudly. “No actually I just…I know she’s tired and I am as well and…” “He likes to cuddle,” Harper grinned. Tessa and Emma both cooed AWE and Brody patted him on the back. “My cuddle bear,” Harper grinned at Maddox. Maddox raised his eyebrows, “Shall we discuss the ride home from…” “NO!” Maddox’s lips turned up slightly as he tried to mask his amusement. Harper scowled and his blue eyes sparkled. Brody chuckled again and hugged Emma. Harper’s face was burning red when she finally looked at her mother, “I want to go back in the morning. He is a part of all of us. He’s dying and doing it alone.” “I know honey we will okay,” Tessa hugged her and smiled, “Cuddle Bear is waiting.” Maddox raised an eyebrow and was about to say something. His jaw snapped shut and he opened it
again but could find no appropriate words to say to his future mother-in-law. “Harper if that sticks-- your ass is in deep trouble.” He turned and stomped up the stairs. “Goodnight everyone,” Harper smiled and whispered, “I need to go calm the bear.” Harper walked into the bedroom and he wasn’t in there. She thought about everything the doctor had said, that because she didn’t have a vaginal delivery, the part of abstaining from intercourse was simply because they were waiting for her womb to heal and he advised a couple weeks for that reason alone. He told Maddox that she may not feel sexual because, like a normal pregnancy she was experiencing the hormonal changes and that a caring partner would make sure she wanted to be touched, asked to be touched before her partner did so. She looked out the window and rubbed her hand over her stomach slowly. It was no longer hard, it hadn’t been in a few days. She hated the way it moved beneath her hand. She walked over to the mirror and looked into it. In loose clothes she looked the same. She knew that even under her clothes she would soon be the same size she had been since tenth grade. She lifted her shirt and looked at her breasts, they had been tender since the hospital. She ran her hand slowly across her nipple and back again trying to get a reaction. When Maddox had touched her breasts in the Jeep it wasn’t the immense pleasure she had always felt when she wanted him, or when she looked into his eyes and they burned for her, calling her body by a simple look. She pulled her shirt over her head, tossed it on the floor, slipped her bra straps off her shoulders pulling it down far enough so her breasts sprang out of the cups. She looked at them, examining her reflection in the mirror. She gently held them, one in each hand and squeezed gently. She pushed them together and looked in the mirror, nothing. She licked her fingers and ran its wetness across her nipple and blew lightly down on them, still nothing. She let out a frustrated breath and unclasped her bra and tossed it on the floor. She turned to grab her shirt and saw Maddox standing against the wall wrapped in a towel. “Oh my God.” Harper grabbed her shirt and covered herself as she felt her face burning. Maddox walked quickly to her and lifted her chin and kissed her nose. “Please don’t,” she whispered as she started to pull away from him. He turned her around facing the mirror, “Open your eyes, please.” His breath was warm on her neck but not deep and heady. “No, Maddox that was—embarrassing.” “You are beautiful, Harper,” he kissed her neck and gently pulled the shirt from her hand exposing her, “Open your eyes, please.” “No I…” “Give me one full minute and if you still object I will let you get dressed, trust me please.” Harper opened her eyes and looked at her reflection, “You have fifty eight seconds.” Maddox smiled at her, “When I walked in here I was a bit shocked, and very turned on. You touching yourself was the single most erotic thing I have ever witnessed in my life.” “Maddox…” “Unless we’re pausing the speculative time clock you’ll let me finish,” Maddox looked at her eyes in the mirror. She nodded her head and he continued. “I watched your hands moving, focusing on them alone. When I saw the disdain in your eyes I knew what you were thinking and it completely bewilders me that you could even for one second not see what you are. Harper, you are incredibly sexy. With us…you are completely open and willing to be pleased and to please me. Your body is amazing outside and deep inside. It is my favorite place to play and my favorite treat. A feast for my eyes, my mouth, my ears, my hands, my cock, and my nose. I love the way you smell when you’re turned on, it calls to me, Harper. I love the way you look, I have memorized every part of your body, from your hair to your toes. I can honestly tell you I would give up food if you allowed me to have my mouth on you all the time. When I touch your skin it’s like silk and velvet. When you say my name, moaning or otherwise it is the sweetest
sound I have ever heard, every time. When I’m buried inside you moving in and out of you I’m connected to my lifeline. I’m one with you and you are one with me. Do not try to hide from me Harper, ever.” “Maddox.” “Harper?” He turned her towards him. “I’m a girl, I am going to have moments of self-loathing and insecurity.” “You’re my girl Harper, and I won’t allow it. You’re mine to care for, mine.” Harper smiled at him, “So when I get old and things start really sagging…” “You’ll be beautiful to me,” Maddox smiled. “What if I get so fat, I can’t move?” Harper smiled. “Genetically impossible,” Maddox laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Your mother is a beautiful woman and so is Maggie,” Maddox smiled. “You check out my mom?” Maddox laughed, “Not like that, but yeah she’s hot.” Harper laughed, “I’m going to tell her you said that.” “Harper you got a …damn it!” Tessa darted back in the hallway and shut the door. Maddox laughed and grabbed Harper’s shirt, “Sorry, Sweetness.” Harper let him put it back on her, “Mom get back here.” Tessa walked in as Maddox was walking in the closet still wrapped in a towel. “You need to start locking this door until I get used to all this, Harper Ann,” Tessa’s face was red. “We really weren’t doing anything,” Harper sat on the bed and patted it. Maddox walked out dressed in a tee shirt and shorts looking at the ground, “We really…” “Actually right before you walked in Maddox was telling me you were hot,” Harper giggled. “Harper?” Maddox gasped. “He was… Maddox --women like to hear these things.” Harper explained. “Not really,” Tessa blushed furiously. “I’m going to grab a drink and as much as I would like our private life to be private I really hope you explain that to Tessa in better detail.” Maddox left the room and Harper laughed. “I don’t even know if I want to know, Harper. I think you two are …” “I was having body issues. My stomach is gross and…well he was telling me what a feast I was to him,” Harper began. “Maybe you should keep this to yourself,” Tessa closed her eyes. “No Mom, he is amazing. He basically just said that he loves everything about me. That I would always be beautiful to him. When I asked if I got so fat I couldn’t move he said it was genetically impossible. That you were a beautiful woman and so was Grandma Maggie.” Tessa smiled, “He is pretty amazing, huh?” “A dream,” Harper fell back on her bed and laughed. Tessa lay back down next to her, “I’ve been thinking about Harrison.” “I don’t want to see him die Mom but I don’t want him to die alone.” “Your father wouldn’t want that either,” Tessa whispered. “So we bring him home,” Harper turned and looked at Tessa. Tessa smiled, “I thought about it.” “So that’s what we do tomorrow,” Harper sat up. “We have a bit of a room issue,” Tessa smiled. “Oh, wow I forgot the boy’s room was full.” “Yes but I have an idea,” Tessa smiled and sat up.
“You do?” “Yes. But you have to agree to it and it will take a couple days. Until then do you and Maddox mind sleeping in the family room? Could you also try to keep your hands to yourselves for a couple days?” “Can’t promise anything, Mom,” Harper joked.
Harrison tried to explain to Tessa and the children that he wants to spend as much time getting to know them as he could, but didn’t want to be a burden. Harper explained to him that family was family and he would do as he was told. He laughed at her, but she was adamant. Harrison was a proud man, he was also a man who had lost two sons in one day which Harper was sure was not helping his health at all.
Maddox woke up a week later to an empty bed, which he did not like at all, but she had been doing it every morning. When she walked into the house he was pacing in the kitchen. “Hey,” she smiled as she pulled her sweatshirt over her head. “Good morning, Harper,” Maddox pulled her hat off revealing the sweat drenched head it covered. “I want to show you something,” Maddox dragged her into the bathroom and shut the door. “Oh yeah?” She laughed. He pulled up his shirt and poked himself in the stomach, “I could use some exercise as well.” Harper laughed and poked him, “Whatever.” Maddox pushed his stomach out, “See.” Harper laughed and cupped his belly in her hands, “I think its twins.” Maddox let his breath out, “I don’t like you doing this every morning alone.” “Maddox, I have done this for years, even my father allowed it,” Harper laughed. “Besides, someone must have told on me,” she poked him in the chest, “and that someone should know Tomas’s cover has been blown, I know he’s out there too.” “I didn’t tell Tomas…are you sure it was him…FUCK!” Maddox stormed out the door and outside in his slippers. He crossed the snow covered driveway and up the back steps of the garage. He banged on the door and Tomas opened it panting, “Harper thinks I told you to follow her on her little morning runs in the woods. I didn’t. SO someone…” “You didn’t have to, her father did. I promised him I would always watch out for them,” Tomas answered without expression as per the norm. “So it was you?” “Yes and how the hell did she know?” Maddox smiled and shook his head back and forth, “She is a pain in the ass.” Tomas smiled briefly, “Always has been, always will be.” “Thank you Tomas,” Maddox said and walked back down the stairs. He walked into the house and Harper smirked, “Eggs?” “Please and tomorrow you let poor Tomas sleep in, I’m going with you,” Maddox sat pouting on a bar stool. Tessa ran down the stairs, “Shower quickly Harper, Maddox call the boys and have them meet us at Community General. Harrison was just transported by ambulance.”
Harper quietly sat looking out the window as they drove home from the hospital. They had spent twelve hours there and when Harrison woke and saw them he immediately shed tears. He had suffered with COPD for years and had exhausted every option available. Harrison was extremely wealthy and was mentally capable of understanding that he would die soon. He reminded his newly found family every chance he got. Harper continued sneaking out to run in the morning and Maddox although still annoyed by it he understood and had begun to run himself in the evening, giving Harper time with her mother. Harper had told Tessa that Maddox had been hearing her cry a lot at night, and when she was confronted about it Tessa made up a silly reason to stop the questioning. Harper knew her mother was a lot like her and she needed to grieve alone. A week later Maddox and Harper went to the hospital to bring him home. When they turned onto route 41A Harper looked at him and smiled, he closed his eyes, “This is not necessary.” “Again Pops… you don’t have a choice,” Harper kissed him on the cheek with a loud smack. He smiled and squeezed her hand. Harper and Maddox had moved into the family room when they had first decided to bring Harrison home with them. London was ecstatic when Harper offered her room to her and said that she and Maddox liked it in the family room. Maddox didn’t argue and assumed it was because she would rather not be truly alone with him and he understood, sort of. When they returned Maddox and Harper’s things had been moved, the family room was set up with a hospital bed, heart monitor, oxygen machines, and back up tanks. Maddox pushed the wheelchair into the house and Harrison smiled up at Harper, “This is beautiful.” She smiled, “You’ll love it here.” Jade’s husband Ryan walked in the kitchen and stuck out his hand, “You must be Harrison and you must be very important. They are giving you privacy; I just put a door on your room.” “I wish you had not gone through all the trouble,” Harrison took a deep breath of oxygen. Harper looked up at Maddox and smirked. He gave her a tight smile and she knew he was growing frustrated with the fact that they had no privacy at all anymore. He slept naked when they were in Switzerland and since they had moved to the family room they both wore pajamas to bed. A week ago the mail had delivered sleeper pajamas that Lexington wore to bed. Maddox turned the deepest shade of red when Harper came down in an adult size matching pair of footies. The entire night he tossed and turned on the air mattress that during the day was used as a trampoline by his sisters and in the evening was their bed. Harper fell on the floor then he threw himself back frustrated with not being able to sleep. He jumped up and scrambled to her side to make sure she was alright and she was laughing. “What’s wrong?” she giggled. “I can’t sleep worth a shit down here with all these damn clothes on and then you come to bed in a fucking body condom which disturbs me further.” Harper had sucked in her cheeks so she could stop from laughing and he scowled, stripped naked and threw his clothes on the floor, “There!” He climbed into bed and laid so his back was to her. She climbed beside him and nuzzled her nose into his neck and wrapped her legs and arms over his. He sprung up and she almost fell again, this time he caught her and she laughed so hard she had tears running down her face. He ran his hands through his hair and groaned in frustration and turned and looked at her, “I can’t touch you through that,” his hands waved up and down, “so you can’t touch me!” Harper pulled herself together and he lay on his back. She climbed over him straddling him and he
groaned, “Tease.” Harper wiggled her butt against him and his eyes rolled back. “I thought you would find this sexy,” Harper giggled. Maddox grabbed a pillow and covered his face and cursed loudly into it. The light flicked on and Tessa ran in, “Is everything alright?” Maddox threw the pillow and grabbed Harper’s hips holding her to him so she did not expose him once again in front of her mother. Harper laughed and laughed and Tessa flicked off the switch, “You’re going to kill that poor boy, Harper Ann. Goodnight.” The next night as Harper looked for the footie pajamas Maddox pretended to write as he was trying to hide his amusement. “Do you know where my pajamas are?” “No sorry maybe they are in the laundry,” he smirked as she walked out. He heard her bound down the stairs and when she walked in this time she sported a blue pair, same as the ones he threw into the fireplace during her shower and of all people Tessa walked in on him cursing them as they burned. Maddox was nervous and Tessa giggled as she walked out of the room.
Everyone sat and ate dinner. They ate French onion soup and Harper mentioned how well she enjoyed the Swiss cheese topping…several times and they ate Swiss chard steak. Again Harper asked Maddox at least three times why he thought they called it Swiss chard. The last time she asked he looked at her like she may be losing it, “I still have no idea, but I promise that I will Google it when we finish dinner, Harper.” Emma and Tessa both laughed at his response and he looked at them oddly. After the girls were in bed and Harrison was asleep Harper walked out into the kitchen, “I’m going for a run, wanna come Maddox?” she winked at him. “I don’t know why you need to run, it’s dark out,” Maddox pointed to the window. “Suit yourself,” and with that Harper took off out the door. Mumbling. Maddox threw on his shoes and grabbed Harper’s coat and chased after her. He yelled her name several times and she just kept going. He watched her walk into the cabin, her family’s deer camp. When he finally got close enough he saw a flag hanging across the small front porch. He saw Harper peek out the window. She opened the door in her dreaded blue footies holding a cup, “Would you like some hot cocoa? It’s Swiss Miss,” Harper smiled at him. “I like the flag,” he said as he looked her up and down slowly. “Come on in, welcome to Switzerland,” Harper smiled and bit her bottom lip. She was beaming with excitement when he walked in. He looked around at the dozens of tiny little Swiss flags stuck everywhere and then quickly back at Harper and smiled. “Looks much different in here than I remember.” “Things change you know,” Harper looked quickly towards the back. “Is there still a room back there?” “Yes, and it even has a door.” “Care to show me?” “I would love to.” Harper took his hand and they walked into the back. “No couches?” “Nope, they have just recently been removed to make room for this new bed. You should sit down and see if you like it.”
Maddox sat down and leaned towards Harper and she stood up and moved away. “You wanna check out the rest of the place?” “Harper, I think I just saw it when I walked in.” “Well no, we added a bathroom last year for hunting season. It has the cutest little shower,” Harper smiled and walked out of the room. Maddox stood up and walked out behind her. His hands wrapped around from behind her and he kissed her neck, “How long do we have?” “Well, as soon as your parents decide where they will build, it shouldn’t be long after that.” Harper turned around, “Will this work?” Maddox shook his head yes, “When did you do all this?” “Morning runs” she used air quotes, “and Mom and Emma helped out when I couldn’t sneak away.” “You did this for me?” “I did this for us,” she smiled and kissed him. As soon as he pulled her tightly to his body she whimpered and he pulled back quickly, “Sorry.” Her face was flush and eyes hooded, “Sorry for what, Maddox?” “I know you have to see the doctor and…” “I saw him at the hospital today. He snuck me in a room did a quick exam and said ‘Go rock his world.’” “What? When?” “I ran into him in the hallway, when I left to use the bathroom,” Harper smiled proudly. “Why are we still dressed?” “Because you keep asking questions,” Harper grabbed the silky smooth locks in his hair and pulled him down to meet her mouth. “We go slowly,” Maddox said after he had licked her mouth deeply and was moving down her neck. “Uh huh,” Harper feverishly pulled his thermal shirt over his head and then kissed him passionately again. “Take these fucking things off,” Maddox pulled the zipper down and she stepped out of them. Her foot was stuck and he pulled it out and then crumpled up the pajamas and tossed them into the fireplace and turned back around and looked at Harper, “I swear to God himself, if you ever come to bed in something like that again I will spank your little ass,” his hand cupped her breast and she pushed into him. “I swear to God himself, I may actually be turned on by that thought,” Harper moaned. Maddox looked down at her, “Very nice nighty… but it needs to go,” he groaned as he pulled the scrap of lace covering her down as he trailed kisses from her hipbone to her neck. His hand cupped her mound, and he rubbed his palm against it, Harper cried out as he latched onto her breast sucking and pulling on her erect nipple and then moved to the next. He stepped back quickly and Harper looked down and breathlessly spoke, “Hey-- you fixed them.” Maddox laughed through clenched teeth, “I wanna eat that pussy, Sweetness.” “By all means…OH GOD!” Harper cried out as his tongue ravaged her and he sucked on her clit. “Oh Maddox,” she pulled his hair as he threw her leg over his shoulder and licked her from front to back slowly, she cried out when his tongue plunged inside her and found her g spot. Her body trembled violently, “Maddox.” Maddox grabbed her other leg and held her by her ass holding her up. “Maddox please I’m already…” He sat back and lowered her on the ground, “Did I hurt you?” “No, no, not at all,” she panted. “Do you want me to stop, Harper, is this too much?”
“Maddox that’s not what…” “I want you to come all over my face, Sweetness; I want to bury my tongue inside of you and…” Harper bit her lip and shook her head quickly up and down. “Good girl. Lie back.” Harper lay on the floor and he bent her knees and spread her legs. He ran one finger outside of her sensitive skin and then again this time he parted her. His finger pushed into her curling up hitting her g spot lightly and she whimpered. He used his thumb to circle her clit as he took turns watching her face and his own hand movements. He slipped another finger inside and pushed in and out of her quicker, “So wet,” he growled as he continued to finger fuck her. He sucked on her lips and licked her clit then circled it with his tongue, “Mmm so good, so fucking good,” he growled and quickly pulled his fingers out and lay on his stomach. He threw her legs over his back and ravaged her hot, wet pussy. Her hips met his face each time his tongue hit her g spot, he growled and nipped her sensitive skin when she tried to pull away. She screamed out his name wrapped in moans of passion and whimpers of praise as he continued until she was completely spent. He kissed and sucked his way up her body and he looked into her heavy eyes, “You ready for this?” “Please,” she moaned and he pushed into her slowly. Her hips plunged forward as he filled her, “God, Maddox.” “Slow Sweetness this is going to end real fucking quick if you don’t slow down,” he hissed into her throat, “I almost came just tasting you. You are so fucking hot. I swear to God Harper, I could live on you forever.” Harper responded by pushing against him hard, causing him to hit her g spot again and she cried out loudly. He pumped hard and fast into her then withdrew himself as he came hard all over her stomach, cursing incomprehensibly. He lay down and nibbled and licked her ear as he tried to catch his breath as she did the same. After a few minutes Harper giggled and Maddox sat up and smiled a sexy victorious smile, “Something amusing, Sweetness?” Harper pointed to a flag she had placed earlier, “You came on Switzerland.” He laughed, “Some distance I got huh?” Harper looked down at her stomach and chest and laughed, “Apparently so.” She sat up and it began to slide down her body Maddox’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. Harper laughed as she stood up, “Where are you going?” “Um to wash up,” Harper laughed. “I kind of like my stuff all over you.” She laughed and walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower and jumped in, Maddox followed. “It’s cramped in here,” he kissed the back of her neck as he washed his face and then rubbed her ass. “It is,” Harper turned her head and pursed her lips asking for a kiss. Maddox bit down on her lips lightly and dragged his tongue across them. Harper pushed her butt back against him, “Thumper you need to take a break there buddy.” Maddox laughed into her neck. Cold water burst through the shower head and Harper gasped and jumped out of the shower, laughing Maddox followed. Harper grabbed a towel and dried off and threw him a wash cloth, “What’s this supposed to do?” Maddox laughed as he toweled his hair. Harper looked down at him, “Not much.” He smiled, “No?” “Nope,” Harper giggled as he walked towards her and snatched the towel away. “Fair is fair,” he laughed walking out completely naked into the open kitchen and living room area.
Harper watched as the muscles in his ass flexed with each step he took and nibbled on her lip when he turned around and caught her staring. He smiled and looked down at his erection. He grabbed a hold of himself and looked down, “Nice huh, buddy?” Harper laughed, “Hey leave him alone, that’s mine.” Maddox looked up at her and winked and cocked his head to the side smiling, “He and I chat once in a while too you know.” Harper grabbed his shirt and threw it over her head laughing, “Oh yeah, what about?” Harper grabbed her panties and then his boxers and tossed them into the fireplace. “What was that for?” he laughed. “You burned my footies,” Harper smiled. “Thumper hated those things,” Maddox grabbed her and kissed her. “What else do you talk about?” “Well he gets yelled at a lot,” Maddox smiled. “Damn it Thumper, the dinner table is a completely inappropriate time to get all worked up even if watching her suck spaghetti is so incredibly hot it should be rated triple X.” “Spaghetti?” “Harper you suck that shit so slowly it makes me chub up instantly. And then sometimes you use your tongue to swirl it around. Oh and in the morning when you drink the milk out of your bowl and some spills on your lip and you lick it —So. Fucking. Hot.” “God I love you,” she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. “Sweetness these fucking things got to go,” he ripped her panties off her and tossed them into the fire as he pushed into her slowly, “Damn Harper, so wet.” “Damn Maddox, your fault,” Harper kissed him, “Condoms, bedroom.” “Condoms, bedroom,” he held onto her and walked into their new bedroom.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE Moving Forward Maddox and Harper walked into the house smiling at each other and holding hands. Tessa looked up and took a sip of her tea, “How was Switzerland?” Harper smiled, “Perfect.” Maddox smiled at her and looked up at Tessa, “Thank you for helping her out with the surprise. It was very nice.” London and Lexington ran into the room, “You wanna take us to school, Maddox?” Maddox looked at Harper, “Can we pull ourselves away from here for them?” “I think we can. Do I have time to shower?” Harper looked up and Emma shook her head yes. Maddox started to follow her. Harper turned to him and whispered, “Just a little break?” He stuck out his bottom lip and she laughed and ran up the stairs. Maddox turned and Tessa and Emma were smiling at him and looked away. “Good Morning, son,” Brody patted him on the back smiling, “How was Switzerland?” Maddox looked at him and laughed, “Great Dad.” “I need a quick minute to talk business, okay with you?” Maddox shook his head yes, “Lila called and the Today show would like an interview. MASS is playing in two days on the Plaza. Your tour starts in two weeks; they are willing to squeeze Burning Souls in for one song to kick it off. T is on his way in and should be arriving soon. I can push them to do it all the same day. Our label is ready to kick your ass because Tell Me You Hate Me is an internet sensation and you have not recorded it. I’m sure MASS would be willing and…” “I’m not going to do all that shit right now,” Maddox scowled and looked down. “Maddox, you wrote that song. It went viral and has over ten million clicks on it. That one song would pay for four years at Cornell. Unless you’re willing for me to pay which I…” “No I’m paying for my schooling, I’ll be married by then,” Maddox rubbed his head and growled. “Hey Maddox, got a minute?” Harper didn’t wait for an answer she pulled him down the hall and to the bathroom. She shut the door and looked at him, “Why not?” He got agitated, “No listen to me. Two days pays for a Cornell education Maddox? Do you know how amazing that is, how many people…” “Will you come with me?” He searched her face for a reaction. He is so damn adorable, she thought, “Um, let me think about it.” She looked down, “No forget it. I’m telling him no. I sold my house in London, that’ll pay for Cornell. Fuck it and fuck the music industry and…” Harper clamped his lips shut, “You’re not backing out of the tour.” “Fine-- at least I have time to prepare for that fucking…” Harper clamped his lips shut again, “Can you get the same room at the Garden?” Maddox smiled, “If I have to drag its occupants out kicking and screaming.” Maddox picked her up and hugged her tightly, “I love you.” “I love you.” His hand moved up her shirt and she giggled, “Are you laughing at me?” “Did you forget we have to take the girls to school?” “Oh shit,” Maddox dropped his head on her shoulder and groaned, “When we get back we go to
Switzerland, alright?” “We will see,” Harper laughed and he pulled his hand back out from under her shirt.
Harper and Maddox were packing when her phone rang, “Mom, do you know you’re calling my cell and I’m in Switzerland, should have used the Viber app….oh…oh God…no we are on our way.” Harper hung up the phone, “We have to get down there,” she started throwing things in their bag. “Harrison?” “Yes,” Harper grabbed the carry on and Maddox followed with the bag. They jumped in the Jeep and drove down to the house. Harper ran into the house and Maddox followed. They ran into his room as Tessa was holding his hand, “Stay with us Harrison, we aren’t ready for you to go yet.” Harper sat on the bed next to him, “Don’t you go anywhere-- damn it!” Harrison’s eye’s fluttered and then opened, “Harper.” “Yes damn it, don’t you go anywhere!” “Collin,” his voice was gurgled and Tessa gasped. The paramedics arrived and he was loaded into the ambulance. Harper and Tessa jumped in, “Tomas, the Jeep” Maddox and Tomas got in the Jeep and followed the ambulance. “Do you know what she’ll do?” Tomas asked pointing to their bags. “I’ll stay with her,” Maddox answered after he had figured out what he was talking about. “She loves you, Maddox,” Tomas laughed, “Don’t suffocate her.” “I plan on supporting her, thank you,” Maddox scowled at him. “Isn’t that what she is doing by going with you to New York?” “Tomas, we love one another,” Maddox began. “I know this. I’ve known that little one since before the day she was born. You captured a free spirit, Maddox.” “Just what is it you’re trying to say, Tomas?” Tomas laughed, which Maddox knew was not something that happened often, “I never had children and those three are probably closer to me than any child I would have had of my own had Collin and I not crossed paths. I’d have more than likely ended up in the Navy until retirement or death, keeping me away from any family I would’ve created. As a child Harper and her brothers used to capture fireflies. Both boys insisted on keeping them in mason jars beside their beds. She would stay awake until they fell asleep and replace the jar with an empty one and sneak out of their room. She would sneak into hers and open the window and release them. If they didn’t fly out she would get so angry at them. One night I watched as she started to cry, ‘I want you to stay too, but I love you, go now be free’ I was so touched by what she said that it nearly brought me to tears. Then she stomped her little foot and got angry, ‘What are you stupid do you want to die? Get the hell out, and I won’t save you next time’. As a teenager she would do whatever she could to pull one over on her parents. You should remember this, sneaking out and swimming... ring a bell?” Maddox smiled and nodded his head. “Harper loves her parents and always does the right thing but she needs space from time to time. She will want desperately to stay with Harrison and you admittedly know that’s what she should do. But Harper will choose to go with you if you insist on staying, Maddox. She made a commitment to you and she will keep it.” “I don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.” “You’re smarter than that, Maddox,” Tomas smiled and looked out the window. “I want her with me. I want to be here for her…”
“Which is it first? Before you answer that understand she’ll know the answer to that.” “What the fuck does that mean?” “No need to get pissed off. Together you are perfect for each other, where one of you…” “You think I’m weak!” “No not at all. Physically you are a bear, Maddox.” “But emotionally, you think I’m weak?” “Not when it comes to what you do for her. You have to be that for yourself too. If not…” “Last time I left her…” “I’ll be here and so will …” “If anyone hurts her…” “Maddox, I can guarantee she has felt the same about you since she met you.” “I can take care…” Tomas laughed, “You two are going to kill each other.” “Listen; tell me what the fuck you are talking about.” “She will tell you exactly what she needs, you just have to listen.” “If I had done that in Switzerland,” Tomas looked away from him quickly. “Oh my God--- you think this is my fault.” Maddox pulled into the emergency parking lot and looked at Tomas, “Are you going to answer my question?” “It’s no one’s fault, Maddox,” Tomas quickly exited the vehicle. After they had stabilized Harrison, Harper walked out into the hallway and crouched down and cried into her knees. Maddox sat on the ground and pulled her onto his lap. She clung tightly to his neck as he rubbed her back. “We missed our flight,” Harper looked up at him and he wiped her tears. “Not a big deal,” he pulled her head back against his chest. He continued to comfort her and she continued to allow it. Harper groaned and sat up, “We should check on flights.” Harper watched Tessa walk out of the hospital room and covered her mouth and let out a sob. She walked quickly to the bathroom. Harper stood up and Maddox grabbed her hand gently, “She may need a minute.” Harper closed her eyes and shook her head yes. “Tell me not to go and I won’t,” Maddox said as he lifted her chin. “We have to,” she scowled and looked down, “We have to.” “As much as I want you with me all the time, she needs you now. You need her just as much,” Maddox smiled sadly. “I told you I would go, I talked you into going,” Harper rested her forehead against his chest and looked up, “Go.” He closed his eyes, “This being a grown up things sucks huh, Sweetness?” “Yep,” she faked a smile. He did the same back and then kissed her, “Go see your mom while I make this stupid fucking call.”
Harper walked Maddox to the front door where Tomas was waiting in the Jeep. “I love you, Sweetness. Tomas assures me you’re going to be safe,” he smiled. “I love you and Tomas assured me… there he is,” Harper smiled when Surge climbed out of the cab. “He meddles,” Maddox smiled.
“Well we both have our guys, huh?” “See you in two days,” Maddox kissed her and pulled her into a hug. “Kick ass Rockstar.” Harper looked up and bit his lower lip. “Keep that shit up and I won’t leave,” he licked her lip with his tongue. Harper giggled and grabbed his hair and pulled him down to her neck, “Keep that shit up and I won’t let you.” Maddox groaned and nipped her neck, “Say the word and I stay.” Harper looked into his eyes, “I know you would and you know I want you to. But think of what this means for you, for us.” He looked into her eyes, “I’m not thinking long term right now, I’m thinking two days and now I’m thinking in five months you’ll be mine forever.” “Maddox, I already am.”
ALSO BY MJ FIELDS The Men of Steel Series Forever Steel Jase Jase and Carly Cyrus Zandor Xavier Momma Joe The Ties of Steel Series Abe Dominic Eroe Sabato The Rockers of Steel Series Memphis Black (Memphis and Tallia) Finn Beckett (Finn and Sonia) River James (River and Kianna) Billy Jeffers (Billy and Madison) LRAH Legacy Series (These families’ stories are intertwined starting with The Love series, they move to the Wrapped Series, the Burning Souls series, and end in Love You Anyways. Many more series will spin off from these characters already written and each will be a stand-alone series but for those of us who love a story to continue I recommend reading in this order. The Love Series (Must Be Read In This Order) Blue Love New Love Sad Love True Love The Wrapped Series Wrapped In Silk Wrapped In Armor Wrapped In Always and Forever
Burning Souls Series Stained Forged Merged LRAH Legacy Additions Love You Anyway Love Notes The Truth About Love Duet 27 Truths: Ava’s Story Untitled (Coming October 2016) *** The Norfolk Series (Must Be Read In This Order) Irons 1(Jax and Frankie, book 1) Irons 2 (Jax and Frankie, book 2) Irons 3 (Jax and Frankie, book 3) The Caldwell Brothers Series (co-written w/ Chelsea Camaron) Hendrix Morrison Jagger Visibly Broken (Coming Soon) UnSocial Daters Club Match Duet UnSocially Yours! (Prequel) Match This! ImPerfectly Matched!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR USA Today bestselling author MJ Fields love of writing was in full swing by age eight. Together with her cousins, she wrote a newsletter and sold it for ten cents to family members. She self-published her first contemporary, new adult romance in January 2013. Today she has completed seven self-published series, The Love series, The Wrapped series, The Burning Souls series, The Men of Steel series, Ties of Steel series, The Rockers of Steel series and The Norfolk series. MJ is a hybrid author and publishes an indie book almost every month and has over 40 self-published titles. She is also signed with a traditional publisher, Loveswept, Penguin Random House, for her cowritten series The Caldwell Brothers. MJ was a former small business owner, who closed shop so she could write full time. MJ lives in central New York, surrounded by family and friends. Her house is full of pets, friends, and noise ninety percent of the time, and she would have it no other way. mjfieldsbooks.com facebook.com/MJFieldsBooks @mjfieldsbooks Instagram.com/mjfieldsbooks mjfieldsbooks.tumblr.com Pinterest.com/mjfieldsbooks SIGN UP FOR MJ’S MONTHLY NEWSLETTER WITH GIVEAWAYS
EXCERPT FROM 27 TRUTHS: AVA’S STORY
PROLOGUE
You can’t run or hide from love. Love will always find you. — H. Scully
SEVEN YEARS AGO For as far back as I can remember, I have loved Luke Lane. Luke’s father, Tommy, was my father’s best friend. Dad and Tommy went to school together, played football together—they did everything together. They planned to play football in college together, but Tommy Lane fell in love with Jade Ross, and Jade fell in love with Tommy. From the stories I have been told, they were the happiest high school couple ever. They shared a love story for the ages. One night during their senior year in high school, they went to Syracuse. Tommy was driving with Jade by his side. My father and Ryan, a friend of theirs, were in the back seat. A drunk city bus driver ran a red light, hit the vehicle on the driver’s side, and Tommy was killed. They were all rushed to the hospital where Jade found out she was pregnant. My father did what he knew Tommy would do for him. He helped Jade in any way he could. And when Jade’s son was born, he was named after my father, and my father became his godfather. My father is not particularly close to his own parents. The Ross family became his family, even after the breakup with his high school girlfriend, Tessa Ross. They still loved him and included him in nearly everything. By default, my brother Logan and I were part of that family, as well. Even when Jade married Ryan, my father was still a huge part of their lives. He loved Luke Lane like he was his own. He loved Luke Lane because he was Tommy’s son. I love him because I know that we are meant to be together. Growing up next-door to him, we saw each other often. With our families being so close, I saw him even more often. Holidays, birthdays, cookouts, pool parties—we even vacationed together. Luke Lane was taller than me, bigger than me, older than me, and there was always a part of him that was protective of me. He watched out for me, much like my father watched out for him. When all the kids would choose teams for beach volleyball or kickball, I was always the last chosen. Luke once told me that I should stop wearing my tutu and my crown all the time, and then they might take me a little bit more seriously as an athlete. I told him, when he was captain, he should choose me, anyway, because that’s what people who love each other do. I was young, very young, and he was … Luke. He nodded and said, “Fine.” From then on, I was always his second pick. I understood that he needed to make sure his team had a chance to win, and he understood that I was still going to wear my crown and tutu. There are pictures of him and me in abundance: me on his shoulders in the pool, me tagging along behind him, me at his football games, him at some of my dance competitions, and hundreds of photos at get-togethers. There are more pictures of the two of us than me or him with anyone else. Those things don’t just happen; they are signs. A sign that Luke Lane and Ava Links are meant to be together forever. When I went through my “awkward phase”—you know the one: body changing, boobs growing, things like that—he no longer put me on his shoulders in the pool. He no longer picked me to be on his team when we played games. Instead, he distanced himself. At first, it hurt. At school, when I told my best friend Harper, his second cousin, that I had been reading magazine articles on how to make a guy fall in love with you, she laughed.
I didn’t think it was funny at all. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just …” She stopped, and I waited. Harper Abraham was that girl you wish you could be. She was the top of our class academically; any sports she played, she excelled at; and she was a friend to all, kindness pouring out of her. She did not do drama, and she smiled often. As a result, when she laughed at my teenage heartbreak, it pissed me off. “Just what?” I asked, packing my book bag full of magazines and books. “Ava, don’t be mad. He’s just … I don’t know, older and, like, family,” she finally said. “You’re his family; I’m not.” Harper and I went through a rough time after that. I left the library and never mentioned his name to her again. I hid my love for Luke for a while. When she brought it up, I shot it down. She didn’t get it. He was mine, I was his, and that was the way it was. Harper wasn’t the kind of girl who dreamed of her Prince Charming, though. She was too worried about spreading kindness and helping the less fortunate. (Seriously, she is that perfect.) When Luke started dating, I accepted it. He didn’t love those girls. I mean, what was there to love? They didn’t know him, and he didn’t know them. Harper was right. Our age difference was an issue, but someday, it wouldn’t be. Until then, I had to believe that true love would prevail. And it would. Luke joined the Army. The day I found out, my heart broke. “Why?” I asked him when no one else was in earshot. “Why, what?” he asked, also looking around to make sure no one could hear me, including his bimbo girlfriend. “Why are you doing this? Leaving me?” I waved my hand around. “Leaving us?” He looked at me and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m a man, Ava. Until you grow up, you won’t understand this, but I need to make my own way.” Tears immediately sprung to my eyes. My emotions were all over the place: hurt that he saw me as a child, sorrow because he was leaving, and anger because he just didn’t get it. Then he hugged me. “Someday, you’ll understand, okay? I’ll be back.” You’ll be back for me, I thought. For me. I prayed for Luke Lane every night. I prayed for his safety. I prayed for his return. I prayed for his love. God knew he was made for me, and so did I. That was all that mattered. He came home on leave in time for graduation. His brother Jackson, Harper, his cousin Liam, and I all graduated that year. A few days after graduation, there was a party celebrating his safe return. And like every time he came home, there was a girl waiting. She was not me. She was physically my opposite: tall, big boobs, and red hair. I am short and dark-haired with less than average sized breasts and an ass that brings attention that I’m undetermined whether I like or not. Alexis was also a complete bitch. Bitches come in droves, so that bitch brought her mini-bitches. The mini-bitches and queen bitch ate, drank, and were merry. They clearly enjoyed their time poolside, strutting around with their plastic personalities and plastic-enhanced body parts. I overheard a conversation they had about how hot he was and “obviously he could do better than being a soldier in the Army because his family clearly could afford to send him to college.” It happened to be a day when I was liking the size of my ass. I had snuck a few drinks and decided to go plant my butt amongst the bitches. “I’m Ava.” I smiled nice and big, getting comfortable. They all clammed up. “So, I heard you talking shit about Luke.” They gasped and vice bitch, the one closest to Alexis, rolled her eyes. “We were just saying he could
do better.” She waved her hand about. “I mean, look at this place. It’s not like he has no other options. Clearly, he could take better care of Alexis if he just worked for his family.” I pulled my shades down and looked over at them. “He’s busy taking care of a country. And what exactly is she doing? No, never mind, I heard. She quit school.” “So she could be available for him,” vice bitch snapped. “Then what does she do the other eleven months out of the year? Sit around and bitch to you guys about needing a man to take care of her?” I hold my hand up. “Never mind. Don’t give a shit. You’re all trifling ass bitches, anyway.” “And who the hell are you?” one of them gasped. “Some teenage trust fund baby?” “No, bitch. I’m going to be a woman who will make damn sure I can take care of myself and my man. The only sucking off him I’ll be doing is—” “Ava, I need your help,” Harper said, grabbing my arm and yanking me up. “But—” “Now.” “Bitches,” I grumbled as I walked away. “Fat ass,” one said behind me. I tried to yank my arm away as I turned around. “Your boyfriend liked it.” “Ava,” Harper snapped, pulling me into the garage. “What a bunch of cu—” “You’re loaded,” Harper gasped. “So?” I huffed. “At least I’m not a cu—” “Ava, everything okay?” Luke’s brother Jackson asked, snickering. “Bitch told me I have a fat ass.” I turned around and bent over. “It may be fat, but it’s a nice fat ass, right?” “Everything okay in here?” I looked back as Luke walked in the garage. They all said everything was good, all except me. “Do you think my ass is fat?” I asked. His eyes locked onto mine. There was something different in them, something that heated my body in the center and spread into every cell. “Answering a question like that can get a man in trouble,” he said, his nostrils flaring a bit. “Trouble is my middle—” “Ava’s had too much to drink,” Liam interrupted, coming in behind Luke. After that incident, the crowd thinned. My parents stayed to help Jade and Ryan clean up. I did, too. Then Mom and Logan left before Dad and I got in the pool to cool off from the drunken cleaning in ninetydegree heat. Luke’s brothers, Riley and Jackson, were in the pool with their girlfriends. Lauren, his sister, was walking in the house with Jade. I was on an inflatable floating tube, and Luke was standing by the edge of the pool. He was shirtless, his arms crossed over his expansive chest, wearing black board shorts hanging low on his hips, exposing the small trail of hair leading beneath his waistband. He was so beautiful it was almost painful to look at him. I swore he could have made my eyes bleed. His jet black hair was cut short on the sides, his full lips completely kissable, and his deep, dark blue eyes were cast down. He looked up as if he could sense me looking at him, his face unreadable. I wondered what he was thinking. God, I wished I knew what he was thinking. He squatted down and put his hand in the water as if to test the temperature. When he looked up at me again, he lifted his hand and curled his finger, beckoning me.
I pointed to myself because I was unsure he was truly referring to me. The side of his lips curled up, and he looked around then back at me with his eyebrow raised and nodded. I let out a very slow breath that was held as I looked around. We were alone. Everyone had left. Totally alone. I paddled toward him, my eyes not leaving his, his never leaving mine, as I reminded myself to breathe. Just breathe. It seemed like it took forever to get to him, but if it truly did, it was okay with me. He was looking at me, and it was so very different than it had ever been. As I swam closer, I expected him to stand, but he didn’t. “Water’s too cold for you, Ava.” “I’m not cold,” I said, my voice sounding different, sexier. “No?” He shook his head back and forth as he said it. “As a matter of fact, I’m kinda hot,” I told him, sounding much more confident than I felt. “I think you should come up out of that water,” he said, reaching out his hand for me. I took it, and he pulled me up. Before he had a chance to pull it away, though, I took his hand and placed it against the base of my neck. “Do you think I feel cold?” His body tensed, and he shook his head. I kept his hand in place and looked around. “No one else is here.” I looked back at him and watched his eyes dart between my lips and my eyes. “So, tell me; do you think my ass is fat?” He didn’t respond. I took my hand away from his, but he left it on me. My chest rose and fell faster, so did his. “What does your boyfriend think?” “Don’t have one,” I responded quietly. “So no one has touched you?” he asked as he started to pull his hand away. I quickly covered it with mine, not wanting him to remove it. “I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re asking.” “No?” His hand started to move up my neck slowly. “No. I’m not a child, either.” “Don’t appear to be,” he said, focused on his hand that was gently gripping my neck as his thumb slid up and down my jawline. He was touching me, and my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest. Luke Lane was touching me. His thumb brushed across my lower lip, and I closed my eyes and ran my tongue slowly over it. Then I wrapped my lips around it and sucked gently. “I have a girlfriend,” he grumbled. I tipped my head back, letting go of his thumb, opening my eyes, and looking into his. “You could do so much better.” He didn’t confirm or deny. I knew he was aware it was true. “Can’t do this with you,” he said as his lips hovered centimeters from mine. My mouth was watering. My legs were trembling. My body’s core was on fire. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life, and I was so close to having his lush lips on mine. I had to kiss him. I was terrified that, if I didn’t take this opportunity—one given by fate—I would never have it again. “Then don’t,” I whispered as I grabbed his waist with one hand and the back of his neck with the other.
Then I kissed him. The sound that escaped him when our lips met came from a place of unmeasurable depth. Every ounce of courage it took to kiss him was swallowed up in its complexity. I trembled when his arm wrapped around me and pulled me tightly to him. If he let go, I feared I might fall or pass out. He didn’t. His kiss intensified. Hands in my hair, his tongue caressing mine, he kept his other hand holding me securely against him. I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was feel, and the feelings were so overwhelming I swore all control was not just gone; it was shattered. He pulled his mouth from mine, and I couldn’t help grabbing his face. “Don’t stop,” I pleaded softly. “Ava …” he whispered and closed his eyes. My name had never sounded so beautiful and tormented all at the same time. “Please …” I begged, bowing my head until it touched his chin. “I’m not the man you need,” he said gruffly, and the sadness in it didn’t go unnoticed. “I don’t need a man,” I said, daring to look up at him. “I’m going to law school; you’re going back to Kentucky. I know that.” “Then why?” His brows furrowed. “Because I have wanted you my entire life,” I said out loud, while inside, I told him it was because I loved him. I love you so much. “We’ve both had way too much to drink.” He stepped back. “Luke …” I started, my hands trembling for a completely different reason. “I have a girlfriend,” he repeated. I shook my head as I told him, “She doesn’t deserve you.” His eyes penetrated mine, and we were silent, but it wasn’t awkward. In the silence, there was a force field keeping us both in the same place, not letting us move. I closed my eyes and said again, “She doesn’t deserve a man like you.” “You don’t deserve a man like me, Ava. All those romantic notions you have about me are not reality. When you tell me you want me, I know damn well you want what you think I am. You sure as hell don’t want me.” “Do so,” I said and quickly realized I sounded like a spoiled little girl. “I’m a soldier. I fight. I breathe for my country, and I will die for my country if need be. It is who I am. I am not walking away from who I am to play house with a girl who thinks she knows me when, in reality, I never knew who I was until the United States Army brought it out of me.” “I’m not a stupid girl,” I told him. “Never said you were. But if I fucked you, it would be a fuck, not a relationship. No wedding bells or picket fence. If I fuck you, Ava, it’s purely physical.” “What about your girlfriend? Do you love her?” He shook his head. “Don’t know. I loved the promises she made to me when I got home and that, if I wanted her to come with me, she’d come. I loved the letters she wrote when I was in the field, loved that she would marry me tomorrow.” “But …” “I don’t anymore. She doesn’t want me to stay in. She’s doing nothing here with her life. The first time I came home, I told her she needed to do her thing, that I had changed. She didn’t listen.” “Then why not just break up with her?” “I like having someone at home. I like getting letters in the field.” He looked back up. “I’m a fucking
asshole.” I shook my head. “You’re not. She’s stupid.” He sighed and shrugged. “I’m not stupid. I’m going to be so busy at school for seven years, Luke. Seven. Break up with her. I’ll write you.” “Ava …” he said in a tone that made me feel like he thought I was stupid or maybe not worthy. “I write you letters, anyway,” I told him immediately. “And when you come home, I’m always here.” “This won’t always be home for me.” “Pft, like it will be for me,” I said, acting like it was no big deal. And it wasn’t. He was my home. He just didn’t know it yet. “Sex isn’t a once a year thing,” he told me. “So?” “So tell me you’d be okay with me fucking you and others.” No, but after me, you’ll want no one else, I thought to myself. “As long as you’re okay with the same,” I told him. His eyebrows shot up as he studied me. “What? I’m not ready to settle down. I have goals and dreams and aspirations.” He turned and started to walk away. “Where are you going?” He stopped and looked back. “If I come back out here and you’re gone, it means you’re smarter than I am. If I come back out and you’re still here, I’ll know you mean what you said. If we do this, it’s physical, Ava. That means you don’t tell anyone—” “I won’t,” I said almost too enthusiastically. “Not even Harper,” he said. “Of course not Harper,” I huffed. He looked me up and down again. “You should be gone when I get back.” “You should break up with that bitch before you come back out.” The corner of his mouth quirked up, and he nodded.
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