Copyright © 2017 Kennedy Fox www.kennedyfoxbooks.com Checkmate: This is Dangerous Checkmate Duet Series, Book 5 Cover Design & Photography by Sara Eir...
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Copyright © 2017 Kennedy Fox www.kennedyfoxbooks.com
Checkmate: This is Dangerous Checkmate Duet Series, Book 5 Cover Design & Photography by Sara Eirew Photography Copy editor: Mitzi Carroll Proofreader: Marisa Nichols
All rights reserved. No parts of the book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to another person except when loaned out per Amazon’s lending program. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then it was pirated illegally. Please purchase a copy of your own and respect the hard work of this author.
Checkmate /ˈCHekˌmāt/ Noun (Chess) 1. A position in which a player's king is in check and the player has no legal move (i.e. cannot move out of or escape the check). A player whose king is checkmated loses the game. 2. Utter defeat
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TABLE OF CONTENTS PROLOGUE CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN CHAPTER SIXTEEN CHAPTER SEVENTEEN CHAPTER EIGHTEEN CHAPTER NINETEEN CHAPTER TWENTY CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE COMING NEXT BOOKS BY KENNEDY FOX ABOUT THE AUTHOR ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS NEWSLETTER
PROLOGUE KAYLA Once upon a time, in a faraway land, lived a damsel in distress who wore her heart on her sleeve despite never feeling loved herself. She didn’t wait around for a knight in shining armor to rescue her from her brokenhearted past; rather, she became the hero. Rescuing animals became her passion and showed her the true meaning of love and compassion. Men didn’t even compare, especially when all they wanted was her body, and she had so much more to offer. ...Excuse me while I cringe at another unsolicited dick pic. Do men seriously have no dignity anymore? That’s a rhetorical question considering I’ve been sent over thirty of them on this godforsaken dating website. Just this month alone and it’s not even halfway over. And I blame Logan Knight. Detective godsend, mysterious, brooding. He’s every girl’s wet dream. Too bad he’s full of excuses as to why he can’t date anyone right now. The timing isn’t right. I’m really focused on my career right now. I don’t have time to date. Please. Every time I hear one of his lame excuses, I roll my eyes so hard I nearly give myself whiplash. More like emotional whiplash. One moment we’re friends and texting about meeting up to hang out and the next? He disappears. Again, with the excuses. However, this time he forgot to mention one tiny detail of why he’s so guarded and reluctant to date anyone. He has a daughter. This revelation wouldn’t be nearly as shocking if I knew anything about him to begin with, and although I’ve had my eyes on him for months, it’s the mystery that keeps me interested. Don’t get me wrong, Logan Knight is freaking gorgeous in every way, but there’s so much more to him than meets the eye, and I can’t help wanting to unravel whatever secrets he’s hiding. He tells me I shouldn’t be with a guy like him, but you know what they say about wanting what you can’t have? You want it even more.
So, when Logan texts me early one morning and asks to meet up, I don’t hesitate for a second. I take the fastest shower ever and get myself ready in record time because when a guy like Logan comes knocking—you answer. I just hadn’t realized exactly what I was getting myself into by answering that message. He’s hoarding secrets like a double layer of Spanx and there’s barely enough wiggle room to breathe, but that doesn’t mean I’m not up for the challenge. Of course, Logan doesn’t just come out and tell me he’s a single dad. I must do my own detective work and find out for myself, except now he doesn’t know that I know. And that’s a secret I’m not sure I should keep to myself or not because if I’ve learned anything from being Logan’s friend, if he wanted me to know about his daughter and his past, he’d tell me. Now that I’ve accidentally found out, I have to pretend as if I don’t know and if there’s one thing I suck at—it’s lying. I’ve been shuffled around too many times to count as a child and it was always the same thing. It’s the last time, I promise. It was the biggest lie, and I knew it too, but if I kept telling myself that, I could get through another night of uncertainty. I was determined to make my new family fall in love with me. I’d do whatever it took to find the good in them even when they had nothing good to offer. I wanted a home, but that security never came. I’d tell myself that the next home would be the one. Lies on top of lies, and yet, disappointment felt the same every time. I finally grew up and couldn’t lie to myself anymore—that kind of love didn’t exist. I tried and dated guys, but it never felt right. If by chance you did find it, you held onto it like your life depended on it. Right now, my lifeline was Logan Knight, and no matter how many times he wanted to lie to himself that the timing wasn’t right for us, I’d be there to remind him otherwise.
CHAPTER ONE LOGAN I pace back and forth, my shoes hitting the pavement as I cross my arms over my chest and look over at the schmuck sitting down in front of me. The same schmuck I helped put behind bars just six months ago—Tony “Killer” Black. He’s leaning back in the chair with his legs spread wide and his arms lax over his body as if this interrogation is an inconvenience to him. “Where were you last Saturday at eight p.m.?” I repeat, louder this time. This guy has a criminal background that goes back to his teen years, and yet, he sits here all smug as if he’s smart enough to get out of it. He chuckles, keeping his eyes everywhere except on mine, and finally replies, “I don’t recall.” The corner of my lips tilt upward, knowing damn well he’s lying through his teeth. We’ve got him on surveillance camera and have enough to keep him for the next forty-eight hours until we can clear a warrant. “Think harder,” I press, leaning down so my mouth is mere inches away from his ear. “Or I’ll make sure they put you in with Papa Bear.” His shoulders noticeably tense and his breathing stills. He knows by the seriousness in my tone that I’m not playing. Clyde “Papa Bear” Hernandez may be behind bars, but everyone knows he still runs his empire. Ever since Killer testified against Papa Bear, he’s been a target on his hit list. You’d think he would’ve been smart enough to stay away, but, then again, he wouldn’t be a repeat offender if he were. “Fine,” he grits, his jaw ticking. I smile slightly, knowing that’d do the trick. “I figured you’d have a change of heart.” Once the interrogation is over, my shift is close to being done, but I still have stacks of paperwork to finish. Deciding I’ll take it home with me, I head to a cafe and grab a coffee before my long night begins. “What can I get for you this evening?” the barista asks, biting her lower lip and giving me googly eyes. She’s here every night I stop by after work and always manages to flirt with me over a simple coffee order.
“Just a large brew, Clarissa,” I tell her, flashing a wink in her direction because I know it makes her blush. She also throws in a free pastry. She’s sweet and attractive, but the truth is, there’s no room for dating in my life right now. There’s too much going on with work and the center of my whole world—my daughter, Skylar. I hate that she lives two hours away with her mother, but I plan to change that very soon. Just as I pick up my order at the bar, I turn around and tense when I see my friend, Kayla. I just saw her in Texas over the weekend for our friend’s wedding, yet it feels like I haven’t seen her in weeks. She’s sitting uncomfortably at a table with some guy. Her leg is fidgeting and she looks like she’s getting ready to bail. We met through mutual friends a year or so ago, and as much as she’s tried pursuing a relationship with me, it’s something I’ve kept at a friendship-only level. I haven’t allowed myself to get involved with anyone since Maggie. Kayla’s eyes are glancing down at her phone more than at her date, so I take the opportunity and send her a message. L: Your date looks like a forty-year old virgin. Also, corduroy bibs? I hadn’t realized we traveled back to the old west. I watch as she looks around for me and grins once she finds me. K: I’m on a date from hell. He’s been talking to me in ubbi dubbi and I have no idea what the hell he’s saying. L: What the fuck is ubbi dubbi? K: Exactly! Now HELP me! L: I don’t know. He looks really into you. Maybe you just need to give him a chance? ;) K: I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW. I stifle a laugh and shake my head at her when she looks up at me again. L: Liar! It’s not my fault you know how to pick’em! K: It’s not my fault either! Stupid eMatcher website set us up. It said we were eighty-five percent compatible!
L: What was the other fifteen percent? Lives with his mother and jerks off to picture books? I hear her gasp from across the room and fight the urge to laugh out loud. She looks up once again and narrows her eyes at me, scowling as she shakes her head and mouths I hate you but her lips curl up into a smile. Deciding to help her out, I walk over to their table and pretend to recognize her. “Kayla Sinclair?” I ask in a British accent as I approach the table, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I can’t believe it’s you!” “Uh...yeah. It’s me,” she responds, playing along. “It’s been a long time.” “It sure has. Since freshman year in college, I think.” “Right. Ethics class,” she adds. “When you dumped me for Professor Hayes,” I say, glancing over at her date who now looks horrified. “I take it you two didn’t work out, huh?” She sits up taller in her chair and narrows her eyes at me. “No, it didn’t. Hence why I’m on this date,” she grits between her teeth, shooting daggers at me. “I’m Fred.” The guy interrupts our stare down and my attention is brought to him. Oh look, he can speak English. He’s holding his hand out for me to shake, and I gladly take it, knowing it’ll drive Kayla mad. “Who are you exactly?” he asks. “Oh, excuse my manners.” I make sure to lay the accent on extra thick just to mess with him. “I’m William Prince. Kayla’s first love. We go way back.” “How’d you two meet, if you’re from England?” He furrows his brows, and I can tell he’s getting suspicious. “My family moved to America when I was thirteen and the accent just stuck,” I explain. “Not complaining though. Works wonders on the ladies.” I flash a wink and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Speaking of your parents, how are they?” Kayla asks with a fake smile on her face. “They’re lovely. Ask about you still, but I can’t really blame them. You were like a daughter to them, and then you just ripped my heart out and stomped all over it and they enjoy reminding me of that.” I lay it on thick with pitiful eyes. She cocks her head, pursing her lips tight. “Well, it was a long time ago. Surely they’ll get over it.” “Unless you’d like to try things again? See where they go?” I arch a brow with a side smirk.
Her eyes widen at my words, and I regret them the moment I say them. The last thing I want to do is lead her on and give her the wrong idea, but she proves she’s up for the challenge as soon as she responds. “I think I’d like that...” she purrs, placing a hand under her chin and gazing up at me. Fred loudly clears his throat, grabbing both of our attention back to him. “We’re on a date, mate.” He sits up taller, although he’s probably no more than five-feet-five inches tall. It’s comical. “Not anymore,” I blurt out, holding my hand out to Kayla and nodding my head at her to take it. “Let me take you on a real date. One that doesn’t require clothes.” I don’t see Fred’s reaction because I don’t look back once Kayla grabs my hand. I don’t know what comes over me; perhaps it’s the accent or just being in character, but once she’s standing in front of me, I cup her cheek and press my lips to hers. She whimpers against me, and I know this isn’t fair to her, but I can’t stop. Her warm lips create a buzz inside me I haven’t felt in years—a feeling I’ve pushed away since the moment I laid eyes on her. We’re better off as friends, I remind myself. I can’t get mixed up in a relationship while dealing with Maggie, not when she holds my daughter over my head like she’s a ball of string. Especially with Kayla Sinclair. She’s too sweet for her own good—the poster child of Mother Teresa. She deserves someone who’s uncomplicated and can devote all their attention to her. She deserves better. We don’t stop kissing when Fred scrapes his chair across the floor. We don’t stop when he slams the door shut, clearly pissed I picked up his date. We don’t even stop when people walk past us and brush against us. We should stop—and yet—we don’t.
KAYLA Every part of my body is on fire, fueled by the electricity between Logan and me as his lips glide across the softness of mine. The low hum in my stomach aches when he pulls us apart, and I fight the urge to press my lips back to his. His lips are red and swollen, probably just like mine are right now. I don’t know what got into him, but Logan and I have never, ever kissed before. Hell, we’ve slow danced before at weddings, but nothing this intimate—ever.
“I think that did the trick,” he finally says, catching his breath. Fred left over two minutes ago. “Yeah, I think so.” I take a small step back, trying to act unaffected, but the hard beating in my chest gives me away. I know he feels it, too. I just don’t understand why he pretends he doesn’t. “Thanks for your help,” I say, breaking the tension. “Anytime. It was fun watching him sweat.” He grins, rocking back and forth on his feet, gripping the coffee cup tight in his hand. He’s just as nervous as I am. “Don’t you get enough of that at work?” I tease. “Can never have enough.” He flashes a pleased smile. “You do have some sick fetish for that, don’t you?” “I do. Gets all my juices flowing,” he quips. And just like that, we’re back to our platonic friendship as if the kiss never happened. However, the ache between my legs knows otherwise. It happened, and it was hot as hell. “What are you doing on a dating website anyway?” he asks after I grab another cup of coffee and sit across from him at the table. “How else am I supposed to meet guys?” I ask, although it’s really a rhetorical question. “Guys in bars just want sex and one-night stands. I have a strict no-dating-guys-from-work rule and everyone else is taken or just wants me to be a part of their ménage à trois.” His brows lift. “What kind of people are you hanging out with?” I sigh. “This city literally has no available, decent, single men. I might as well just move to another planet. Like Pluto. Get as far away from here as possible.” “Actually, Pluto isn’t a planet anymore,” he tells me matter-of-factly. I blink, unamused. “Great. Looks like I’m destined to be single forever then.” He chuckles, and I only slightly hate that he finds my pathetic dating life entertaining. “You’re still young. No need to panic until you’re like...thirty.” I grab a piece of his pastry and throw it at him. “You suck.” I scowl. “I’m twenty-six, which means I’m almost thirty, and almost thirty means I should be with the guy I’m planning on marrying. Otherwise, I’ll be forty, my looks will be gone, my boobs will have fallen to my feet, and I’ll have gray hair,” I ramble, knowing I’m over exaggerating, but right now it feels true. Every date is a disaster. More than the last. “Okay, before you go picking out your tombstone and flowers, rein it back a little. This isn’t the nineteen fifties where you get married after high school
graduation and pop out five kids before you’re twenty-three. A lot of millennials aren’t getting married until their thirties or even forties. They’re also not having kids until later—focusing on their careers first and then doing the family thing.” His words are reassuring, yet I still feel that panic that by the time I find my Mr. Right, I’ll be gray and wrinkled. I shrug, not wanting to admit he’s probably right. “At least I’ll always have my fur babies. Adam, Philip, and Kristoff love their mama no matter how old I get.” I grin, thinking about my dogs back home waiting for me. “Maybe I’ll adopt another dog instead.” “So, you’re going to be a dog lady who adopts dogs and names them after Disney Princes?” His brow arches as his lips curve into a knowing grin. Shrugging, I respond, “Might as well. At least I know they won’t leave, cheat, or break my heart.” His lips turn down slightly, but rise again before responding. “I think you’re giving them too much credit.” “Maybe I’ll name my next one Tarzan. Sounds like a good name for a big, burly-sized dog.” “Technically, I don’t think Tarzan’s a Disney Prince,” he tells me with a straight face. I roll my eyes at his stupid technicality. “I mean, if you’re not going for true princes, then I’d suggest Logan because, let’s face it, that’s a brilliant name.” My head falls back in laughter and immediately decide to stop being sour about it. If Logan can do anything well, it’s make me laugh and forget about my pathetic dating life; or rather, lack thereof. Being around him used to be difficult for me considering my feelings for him, but after a while, I got used to it and learned to push it away. However, kissing him has now done the exact opposite. On the outside, I’m pretending as if it didn’t faze me and it’s already been forgotten. On the inside, I’m dying. Dying for his lips on mine again. Dying for his hands and body on me. Dying to feel that electricity burn between us. Once I’ve long finished my drink, Logan tells me he has to get going and my heart sinks because I can’t help wanting to be around him. Even if it won’t lead to anything, I just love talking to him. “I have a briefcase of paperwork to look over. Still catching up from being gone last week,” he tells me. The mutual friends we have in common, Drew and Courtney, just got married in Texas last weekend and are now on their honeymoon in Hawaii. We both flew there to stand in their wedding and watch them say their I Do’s. “Oh, no problem. I should get back and let the dogs out before I head in for the night.” I’m just about to stand up when he tells me he’s going to get a coffee
refill and to wait. I watch as he walks up to the counter, and I can’t help but admire the way his black suit hugs him in all the right places, especially the curves of his ass. Vibration takes my attention to the phone on the table that’s currently lighting up. I grab it, about to tell Logan his phone is ringing, when I notice the name on the caller ID—Maggie & Skylar. Shortly before Courtney and Drew’s wedding, Courtney asked if I had ever heard him talk about someone named, Skylar. I hadn’t, and I assumed whoever it was, he wouldn’t tell me, or anyone else for that matter, even if I had asked. Courtney assumed it was an ex, but according to the picture flashing on the screen of Logan wrapping his arms around a little girl, I can now only assume it’s his daughter. She looks around five years old, no older than seven for sure, and I can’t wrap my mind around how he hasn’t ever mentioned he has a kid. Not wanting Logan to know I saw the name and picture, I set the phone back down and pretend I didn’t notice it. Pretend I’m not freaking out on the inside now that I know his secret. It was a complete accident, but I still feel guilty. The call is sent to voicemail and the vibration stops just before Logan comes back to the table. “Here,” he says, handing me a small brown bag. “Considering your Tuesday night was an epic fail, I wanted to make sure you at least got some dessert before heading back home.” He winks at me and it takes every ounce of willpower to leave my feet planted on the floor. Whether he realizes it or not, every time he makes a sweet gesture of friendship, it makes me fall even harder for him. I smile, taking the bag and opening it. Inside is a donut with pink sprinkles on top. “Good choice. You know I can’t deny my love for sweets.” I flash a genuine smile at him. “Or sprinkles.” He winks. I furrow my brows at him. “How’d you know that?” He chuckles and it warms my heart all over again. “Because every time I’ve seen you with a pastry or donut, it’s lathered in sprinkles.” I’m shocked he’s noticed and even more shocked he’d remember. “Well, thank you. Now I have something sufficient to stuff my face with as I cry my eyes out watching The Fault in our Stars.” In bed. Surrounded by my dogs, of course. With a box of tissues. Oh, God. I’m so pathetic. “The pleasure is all mine.” His mouth does that half-curve smirk thing again and fuck, I hate when he flashes that smile. It’s a panty-melting smile if I’d ever
seen one. Panty-vanisher. That’s what his smile does. Panties vanishing since 1985. He walks me out and to my car, even holding the door open for me as I slip inside and buckle myself. I look into his deep blue eyes, the color of the Pacific Ocean, and I almost get lost in them. “Thanks again for saving me. You’re like my real-life Knight in shining armor.” I blush the moment the words spew out of my mouth. I doubt he’s going to think it’s part of my charm, so I quickly say something again. “I had no idea you had such a great British accent.” “Me neither. Do you think he bought it?” He flashes a knowing smile. “Probably not.” I laugh. “Now I need to reconsider those stupid profile answers and pray I don’t get stuck with another weirdo.” He wraps his fingers around the door, and I watch as they tighten. “You don’t need a dating site. The right guy will come when it’s meant to happen.” I stare up at him, wishing he’d say he was the right guy for me, but the words never come. “Goodnight, Kayla.” He nods his head at me and releases his fingers before walking off. I sigh, resting against the headrest as the sound of his voice saying my name lingers in my mind.
CHAPTER TWO LOGAN My mind is reeling as I drive home and replay exactly what happened between Kayla and me. I analyze every moment—as I always do—and try to pinpoint the exact moment when I lost control. Kissing her was impulsive, I know that, yet it didn’t feel wrong at all. Once her body responded to me I couldn’t hold back any longer. As much as I try, I can’t explain what came over me, and I feel guilty regardless of how exhilarating her warm pouty lips felt on mine. One moment we’re joking, the next our mouths were fighting an unwinnable battle that I don’t think either of us saw coming. The greed, heat, and passion between us is undeniable, but it’s also dangerous. Once I pull into my driveway and park, I grab my briefcase of paperwork and coffee and walk in the door. Just as I set everything down on the table, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and see Maggie’s name flash across the screen, and I’m forced back to reality—my reality. “What took you so long to answer?” she asks in an accusing tone. This isn’t anything new though. If she has any sort of chance to paint me as the bad guy, she does. “My hands were full. What’s up?” I keep my tone flat without any sort of emotion. I know I have to play my cards right with her or she’ll dangle Skylar over my head until she gets what she wants. “I need more child support. Skylar’s dance expenses are a little more than I anticipated, and I can’t keep up with the payments on top of her costumes and new shoes for the Spring Recital.” “My child support should be enough to cover all of that,” I tell her. She gets a nice percentage of my check every week, which I don’t resent because I want to take care of my daughter, but Maggie hasn’t always been the best at budgeting. “Yeah well, that money goes to shelter, food, clothes, hot lunch money, haircuts, shoes...” She rambles on, and finally I cut her off. “All right,” I drag out, annoyed. “How much do you need for her costume?” “Two hundred.” I nearly choke. “For one costume?”
“It’s several costumes and shoes, Logan. These things cost money. Not to mention everything else I’ve had to spend on her.” She says it as if taking care of our daughter is an inconvenience, but I don’t press her on it. “Fine,” I grit between my teeth. “I’ll bring it with me when I come down this weekend.” “Actually, I need it before then. Could you mail it?” “Jesus, Maggie.” I dig my fingernails into my palm. “Fine.” “Great.” I can tell she’s wearing a smug smile. “So, have you thought more about moving here? I’d be able to help with these kinds of expenses and taking her to practice and such. Plus, I want to be there for her more,” I tell her, not for the first time, and probably not for the last. “Not really. It’s not a good time, Logan. Skylar’s already deep into the school year and has made lots of friends. She’s been looking forward to her recital for months. It wouldn’t be fair to just uproot her,” she tells me, although it’s nothing she hasn’t told me before. “Also, I can’t just up and quit my job without having another one lined up. You know this.” I inhale a deep breath, reminding myself I need to play by her rules if I want Skylar closer to me. “I do; however, Skylar could finish the year out there, and, in the meantime, you could look for a job around here. I’m not expecting you to move overnight, Maggie.” “Well it sure sounds like it. You’ve been bringing it up every time we speak.” “Yes, because I want to be involved in my daughter’s life. She’s getting older. I’ve already missed the majority of it because I can only drive down on the weekends.” “Well, it’s not my fault,” she says in an accusing tone. “I couldn’t afford living there with a baby. Once you left us, I had to manage it all on my own.” She makes sure to remind me every chance she gets, knowing it makes me feel guilty as fuck. It’s not exactly what happened, but arguing about it won’t help anything now. “Well, she’s no longer a baby. You have a good paying job now, and I’m offering to help you move. I don’t know what else you could want from me, Maggie? I’m trying here.” She audibly exhales. “Yes, I know, but it’s not fair that you just expect us to uproot everything she’s known for the last five years.” “I’m her father. She needs me just as much as she needs you,” I remind her. “She’s been just fine without you,” she spits back, knowing it’ll work my nerves. “Would you rather I take you to court and fight for custody then? Put Skylar through all of that just because you can’t compromise?” I threaten, knowing it’ll
irritate her as much as she’s irritating me. “On what grounds? I’ve been taking care of her by myself since she was one year old, Logan, so don’t you come at me with your empty threats.” I’m tempted to remind her she’s the one that left the city and that I could’ve co-parented had she stayed, but I stop myself. I know arguing with her about the past isn’t going to help anything now, but every time Maggie throws it in my face that I wanted out of the relationship, my blood boils. “C’mon, Mags. Meet me halfway here. I just want to see my daughter more. The neighborhoods are safer here, too. My job is stable and I can provide a consistent schedule since I have seniority. I’ve offered to help cover expenses. I’ll help you look for work or Skylar can stay with me while you’re out on interviews. Anything. Please, Maggie.” I’m begging like a bitch, but Skylar is the most important thing in the world to me, and I won’t stop fighting to spend more time with her. “Fine. I’ll think about it some more, okay? I need to see if there’s even any nursing positions available near you first before I commit to anything. Not to mention, figuring out how to get out of my lease.” “Thank you.” I exhale a breath of relief. “If it comes down to it, I’ll help you pay off the lease.” I know she only mentioned her lease because she knew I’d offer to pay it, but at this point, I don’t care. I’ll do anything to get her to move closer to me. Driving back and forth every other weekend isn’t going to cut it for me much longer. I hear Skylar talking in the background and before Maggie can hang up, I ask if I can speak to her first. “Hold on.” I hear her shuffling around before she tells Skylar it’s me on the phone. “Daddy!” Skylar says as soon as she puts the phone to her ear. “Hey, baby! Did you have a good day at school?” “Yeah! I had dance tonight and learned a new move.” The excitement in her voice makes me smile. “Wow, that’s wonderful.” “Miss Kelly also talked about the daddy daughter dance for the Spring Recital, and I asked her what would happen if you weren’t there for rehearsals this weekend.” Her tone changes and my heart sinks. “She said I wouldn’t be able to participate.” My brows furrow. “What do you mean if I’m not there? I’ll be there when you need me. Always, baby.” “Mommy said you wouldn’t be able to make it, but you can?” Hope radiates through her voice, and I know Maggie is probably shaking her head in the
background. “Absolutely, baby. I’m coming down this Friday. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” “Okay, Daddy.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “That’s enough,” Maggie says in the background. “Tell your daddy goodnight. You need to get to bed. It’s getting late.” “But...” Skylar says and it kills me to hear the sadness in her voice. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll see you in just a few days,” I tell her. “I love you, Daddy. Goodnight.” “Love you, too. Goodnight. Sweet dreams.” Maggie grabs the phone and tells Skylar to go change into her pajamas before bringing the phone back up to her ear. “Logan, please don’t get her hopes up about that recital. There’s three or four rehearsals before the event and I’ll be the one that has to deal with her disappointment if you don’t make it. There’s no amount of ice cream that’ll make those tears instantly vanish.” “I’ll be there,” I tell her harshly, irritated she assumed I wouldn’t. “Just give me all the details and I’ll clear my schedule.” She huffs. “Okay, I’ll text them to you.” “Thank you. And thank you for taking the time to think about what we talked about. She’s getting older and will need me. Don’t take that away from her,” I plead with sincerity. “Don’t twist this into being my fault, Logan. You’re the one who walked away,” she reminds me—once again. “I never said it was your fault. We both made mistakes, and now I’m trying to make this work for all of us.” I grit my teeth, keeping myself from blowing up. After hanging up, I think back on those days and what I’d do differently. The truth is, though, everything that we went through is what gave us Skylar; so, in retrospect, I wouldn’t change a thing. Maggie and I dated for most of our high school years. On and off, both dating other people before we got back together for the last time. I joined the military right after high school until I was medically discharged. Shortly after I returned, I enrolled in the police academy and found a job at the Sacramento PD. Not long after, Maggie and I found out she was pregnant. We were young, but still I was excited to be having a daughter. However, when Skylar was just a baby, I broke it off and my worst nightmare began when Maggie moved her away from me.
KAYLA The next morning, I wake up to slobbery dog kisses on my face. Not exactly the same as Logan’s lips on mine, which hasn’t left my mind since the moment it happened, but I love waking up to my three fur babies. I push my favorite sleep mask to my forehead and giggle as I try to fight them off me, but Kristoff—the feisty one—is determined to lick my skin right off. “Okay, okay! I’m up!” I whip the covers off and slide my feet into my slippers. They’re all looking up at me, fiercely wagging their tails. “Gotta go outside?” I ask in a high-pitched tone I know gets them excited. “C’mon, let’s go!” I do a quick glance in the mirror and realize my sleep mask is still on my head. Trying to salvage the rat’s nest on top of my head, I pull the mask off and redo my messy bun. Grabbing my sunglasses off my dresser, I follow the dogs down the hall to where their leashes are hanging. Philip’s a black lab mix and well over a hundred pounds. He easily takes over the bed and never budges when I try to move him. He’s the biggest baby out of them all, too. When all three of them are fighting over a toy, he’s the first to give up because he doesn’t want to fight. Adam’s a tall, skinny mutt but is always the first to finish his food and then usually gets caught trying to eat the other dog’s food. He’s more aggressive when it comes to playing and barking at people walking by. He climbs on top of me when I’m sitting because he thinks he’s a lap dog like Kristoff, who’s a small Beagle mix and ironically thinks he’s big like the other two, always trying to fight and get between them when they’re playing. I might sound like a crazy dog lady already, but I love them so much. Every time I volunteer at the animal shelter, I’m tempted to bring another one home with me. That’s where I adopted all three of mine. Fell in love immediately and knew they were meant to be mine. Now I even sling dogs off to my friends as much as they’ll let me. I hate seeing them live in the shelter, and every day I wonder if that’s their day to get a new home. It’s sad and bittersweet all at the same time. I love being able to interact with all the pups and show them love in return, but the greatest satisfaction I get is finally seeing them be placed in a forever home. I leash all three dogs and nearly trip over them as I open the door and they flee down the sidewalk. Walking them all at the same time isn’t an easy task, but
I need to get their walk in before I can get ready for work. Every morning as soon as the sun rises, we walk to Donny’s Dogs and Donuts Bar down the road. It’s become our tradition and one that I know they look forward to. It’s a breakfast cafe that offers donuts and pastries for both people and dogs. So, while I get my pink-frosted with sprinkles donut, each of the dogs get an animal friendly doggie donut that’s healthy for them. I look forward to it every morning if the weather cooperates. “Kristoff, c’mon,” I say as he stops to sniff every bush. “We gotta hurry if you want to get your treat.” As soon as I say the word treat, all three of them go wild. “That’s what I thought,” I say smugly, and start power walking to keep up with them. Donny’s is only a half a mile down the road so we’re there in no time. “Hola, señorita!” Donny greets me as we walk inside. He’s an older man in his late fifties and gray all around. He’s always so welcoming and kind to us. “How are the fellas today?” Philip and Adam jump up on the counter and I pull them back, but by the way their tails are wagging, it’ll be a miracle if they don’t spin right off their bodies. “They’re filled with energy,” I tell him with a smile. “As always.” “Oh, yes. They’re good dogs.” Instead of reaching over the case, he walks around and hand feeds them their treats instead. “Good boys.” He pets them each on the head and the way he’s interacting with them brings another smile to my face. “Thanks, Donny. I swear they only behave for you.” I wink at him, knowing he’ll see right through my white lie. “It’s because I smell like sugar.” He walks back behind the counter and washes his hands off. I laugh. “Probably. They get their sweet tooth from their mama,” I gloat. “Which is why I always make sure to put yours aside,” he tells me, handing me a small white box. “I added a little something extra for you today.” “Aw, Donny! You shouldn’t go to any trouble for me.” I take it from him and he hands me a brown bag to carry it home in. “You’re too good to us.” “Only the best for my favorite customers.” He smiles wide, and I love that his shop is so close. It really brings a sense of home and culture to our little neighborhood. He also serves great coffee, but without a free hand to carry it back, I only get it if I stop in alone. The dogs are eager to get back to their walk, so I pay and tell Donny goodbye and that we’ll see him tomorrow. As we’re walking back, I notice a
dog, chained to a picnic table in a random backyard a few blocks over from my house. The chain is short and the dog, who looks like a lab mix that’s no older than two or three, is all tangled up underneath. He’s lying as close to the picnic legs as he can in order not to choke. Upon closer inspection, I realize there’s no food or water dishes either. My blood is boiling. My dogs start barking and I shush them before they scare the poor pup that’s being held like a prisoner. Gathering their leashes in one hand, I inch closer to the dog and let him smell my hand. “Hey, little guy,” I say softly. My three dogs are eager to smell him, but I do my best to keep them apart. “I’m just going to untangle you, okay?” I do the best I can with one hand and getting the chain untangled from the legs of the picnic table. “There ya go.” I pet his head and let my dogs smell him for a moment before pulling them away. I pet under his belly and can feel his ribs. He also has some patches of hair missing, probably from always having to sit out here with no room to stand or run. “Are you hungry?” I ask him, the anger building up inside me as I dig around for an extra puppy donut. “Here you go.” I pet his head and smile. He so sweet, but looks so timid. I’m angered that he’s out here with no food or water dishes and it’s supposed to be a hot day. Hopefully, he’s just out here for a few minutes and the owner will bring him back in. Otherwise he’s going to get dehydrated. “I’ll come back tonight and check on you, okay? Don’t you worry.” Hopefully he won’t still be tied up, but I won’t be able to sleep tonight unless I know for sure. When I stand up, I feel this nagging ache in my gut about leaving him behind. He looks up at me with sad eyes and I hate that his owner put him in this position. It’s going to be at least eighty degrees today and by seven in the morning, the sun is already blaring down. The only shade the dog has is the damn picnic table he’s chained to. Before leaving, I snap a picture of the dog on my phone just in case. If his owner isn’t going to take care of him properly, I won’t hesitate to find someone who will. Later that night after work, I drive down the street to where I found the dog and find him still tied outside. I brought along some extra food dishes and a bottle of water. The dog greets me as soon as he notices me, and I kneel to pet him. “Hey, I told you I’d be back.” I smile at him, wishing I could take him back with me. I set one dish down that’s already filled with food and pour the water into the other dish. I make sure he’s untangled and sit with him for a few minutes
as he chows down on the food and drinks the water as if he hasn’t had any in days. “You poor guy. This is fucking ridiculous,” I mutter, my blood boiling the longer I watch him. He’s starving and thirsty and his owner doesn’t even give a shit. He could die out here in this heat with no water and I’ll be damned if I let that happen. “Be right back, okay?” I see a light is on, and without much thought, I march up to the door and pound my fist against the wood. A moment goes by without an answer, so I continue knocking. I finally hear someone walking around inside and muttering curse words as an older gentleman opens the door. “Who are you?” he asks roughly. “Don’t try to sell me anything. Not interested.” “I’m not. My name is...Mildred,” I lie. “I noticed your dog didn’t have any food or water, so I brought some for him,” I explain. “Why the hell did you do that?” he grumbles, the lines on his face tense. “Who said you could come onto my property and touch my dog?” he shouts louder, narrowing his eyes and gripping the door as if he’s about to slam it in my face at any moment. “If you can’t care for him, I can take him off your hands. I volunteer at the animal shelter and would happily find him a new home,” I tell him kindly. “He’s been outside, tangled around that picnic table all day.” He grunts. “Herman is just fine out there. He pisses and shits in my house when I’m at work, so he stays outside and eats inside.” “It was almost ninety degrees today and you left him out there with no water. That’s cruel! You should be ashamed of yourself!” My voice rises without realizing it and soon I’m shouting at him. “Get the fuck off my porch before I call the cops. And stay off my goddamn property,” he shouts back. “Good! Call the cops! I’ll tell them you’re neglecting that poor dog and they can decide if you get to keep him or not.” The words come out as a threat, but I won’t hesitate to tell the cops exactly what he’s doing to that poor dog. “I said get off!” he yells just before slamming the door in my face. I’m so enraged, I can feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I walk back to the table tempted to take Herman, but the owner will know it was me if I take him now. I pet his head and softly say, “I’ll be back. I won’t let him get away with this.”
Reluctantly, I stand up and walk back to my car. Driving the short distance back home, I feel saddened that some dog owners feel no remorse for the way they treat their animals. Situations like this drives my motivation to start a nonprofit charity for a no-kill shelter even more, so when dogs are brought in from neglected or abused homes, they have a safe place to go without the threat of being put down. On average, seven hundred thousand dogs are euthanized annually. I won’t let Herman be one of those statistics.
CHAPTER THREE LOGAN Friday morning is here before I know it. Before I lock up, I pack a weekend bag so I can leave directly after work to pick up Skylar. The day passes without too much bullshit and soon I’m on my way to Santa Rosa. I wait for over an hour in gridlock traffic for nothing. There was no accident, no emergency, just a ton of people traveling from one city to another, but that’s normal in California. My two-hour trip turned into three, and by the time I pull up to Maggie’s, she’s pissed. “Now you’re cutting into my time,” she says, her face full of makeup and her hair curled. I try to come every other weekend to get Skylar and she takes the opportunity to go out with her friends. I don’t blame her for having a little fun, but I wish she’d realize that she can do these things more often if she’d just allow me to be the dad I want to be. “I’m sorry, traffic.” I make eye contact with her, but she looks away. Before I can open my mouth and say another word, Skylar bolts past her at full speed and I lift her up into my arms. “Oh, you’re getting heavy,” I tell her and she giggles. “We’re going to make a blanket fort like last time, right?” She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes. “If you want to.” I kiss her cheek and set her down. “Skylar,” Maggie says firmly. “Go grab your backpack and dance bag.” She runs as fast as she can back into the house. “Don’t forget tomorrow the two of you have to be at the rehearsal hall at 2pm. She needs to wear the black leotard with her jazz shoes. Make sure her hair is up and...” “Maggie, I can do this. I don’t need a set of instructions to take care of my daughter.” The words leave my mouth and her lips transform into a tight, straight line. “Fine. Don’t bother me tomorrow then. Just please make sure she’s home on time on Sunday.”
“Okay.” We’re at a standstill and the silence between us drives at my nerves. Maggie keeps looking down at her phone as if she’s expecting someone, but I don’t pry. What she does isn’t my business unless it affects Skylar. The minutes tick until Skylar runs out the door to me. “Give me a kiss bye,” Maggie says and Skylar runs back to her. Maggie smooths the hair down on her head and kneels until she’s eye to eye with Skylar. “Make sure you’re a good girl for your daddy, okay? If you need anything or if you want to be picked up, just let me know.” Maggie glances past Skylar and looks at me. She pulls this shit every time as if she’s secretly hoping Skylar will decide she no longer wants to be with me. My heart begins to pound in my chest, and I push back my annoyance and smile instead. “Okay, Mommy.” Skylar is bouncing and smiling, she’s so excited to be going with me. Maggie watches as I buckle Skylar into her booster seat. I give her a wave before I back out of the driveway, but she doesn’t return the gesture. I position my rearview mirror where I can see Skylar in the back and she’s talking ninety to nothing about dance and soccer and her friends at school. I try to soak in every moment with her that I can. “That’s great. So, what do you want to eat for dinner?” “Ice cream!” Skylar yells and giggles, knowing that’s not going to fly. “Cake!” “Now you’re being silly. What about...pizza?” I ask, knowing it’s her favorite food. We pull into Chuck E. Cheese’s and her face lights up with excitement. The big mouse logo on top of the building greets me, and I give him a small smile because it’s not our first time here and I’m sure it won’t be our last. Once we enter, she gets her hand stamped and I order a pepperoni pizza and drinks. Skylar is so impatient when it comes to bright colorful games that seem to call her name. “Come on, Daddy,” she says tugging at my arm after we find a table. “Let’s play games.” I pull out her game card that allows her to play unlimited amounts of games and she runs straight to a pig with a big mouth. All the pent-up energy she has is being put to good use as she slaps the button to throw balls into the pig’s mouth. Each time she wins tickets, she does a small fist pump and we exchange highfives. This is the life. This is what I live for and every day for the rest of my life, I will try my damnedest to make this little girl happy. As I watch Skylar play another race car game, a mom comes closer and starts a conversation with me. She glances down at my hand and I know for a fact
she’s looking for a wedding ring because most women do. “Is that your daughter?” she asks, making small talk, but I’m not here to pick up a date. “Sure is,” I say with a smile, but I keep it short. “She’s beautiful.” Her son runs up to her and distracts her. She gives me a wink and hands me her phone number before walking away. I wad it up and throw it in the trash with my empty drink. Honestly, who goes to Chuck E. Cheese to pick up a date? Once Skylar starts yawning, we go to the payout machine and feed in the tickets she won. “Show me how many tickets you won.” She turns the paper around and is beaming at the number. “Good job, baby. One hundred and thirty-seven.” I can’t stop smiling as she skips over to the counter. Her eyes light up at all the colorful stickers and toys behind the glass case. “I want a whistle, airheads, and two vampire teeth,” she tells the attendant. I look down at her the same time she looks up at me, and I arch a brow in her direction. “Please,” she adds, getting my signal. The teenager hands her all the items and she thanks him as she holds them in her palms. Handing me the green pair of vampire teeth, she says, “I got that for you, Daddy. Now we can be vampires together.” She smiles wide before placing the pink pair in her mouth. I follow her and stick the green ones in mine and flash her a big, toothy smile. Laughing, she grabs my hand and we walk out to the car. Before we make it to the hotel, Skylar falls asleep. I pull up to the valet and grab her dance bag and princess backpack and throw them over my shoulder. Once I have everything, I pick her up and carry her to our room. As quietly as possible, I lay her down on one of the double beds, pull the covers over her, and click the lamp light on. I decide to jump in the shower quick, and as I’m putting on my clothes, I hear Skylar crying. I rush over to her and realize she’s upset. “Shh,” I try to calm her. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” “I had a bad dream,” she says softly. I sit next to her on the bed and try to comfort her with hugs and bedtime stories. After she’s calm and smiling, she asks to change into her Disney princess gown. Once she’s set and uses the bathroom, I find her toothbrush and toothpaste and hand them to her, reminding her to brush them well. Sometimes she’ll try and say she did to get out of it, so I watch her with a grin. She spits toothpaste in the sink and turns and smiles back at me. “Okay, Daddy, I’m ready for bed now.”
She climbs into her bed and begins to yawn. I sit next to her and press a kiss to her forehead. I turn on the TV, but keep the volume low on a random cartoon she’ll watch until she falls asleep. “I love you, baby. Sweet dreams.” “I love you, Daddy.” She grabs my hand and my heart breaks just a tiny bit knowing our weekend is so short-lived.
The next morning after waking up, we head downstairs and take advantage of the continental breakfast. Skylar loves the pancake maker and all the different types of syrups. She drinks her orange juice and I had planned to take her to the zoo, but since we have the daddy-daughter rehearsal by two, I decide swimming in the pool would be best. “Did you pack your swimsuit?” I ask. She nods and her smile lights up her whole face, making my heart melt. Skylar looks a lot like Maggie, but she has my eyes and her personality reminds me of myself when I was her age. The kid is fearless and isn’t afraid to say what she wants or thinks, which can be a good and bad thing depending on the circumstances. She’s also extremely smart. I hope when she’s older, she doesn’t give me hell like I gave my parents, but I’m pretty sure that’ll be inevitable. After breakfast, Skylar hurries and changes into her swimsuit that looks like a mermaid. When she moves, the light reflects different colors of purple, pink, and greens like scales. After a few hours of swimming I have to practically drag her away from the pool so we aren’t late to rehearsal. She takes a quick bath and gets dressed into her dance gear. I’m not sure what I should wear so I put on a pair of blue jeans, a T-shirt, and some tennis shoes. “Daddy, you’re going to dance in that?” She snickers and points at my pants. “I didn’t bring my leotard,” I joke with her and help pull her hair into a tight ponytail on top of her head. Before we go downstairs, I call the valet to bring the car around so we can stop and grab lunch before practice. Making a quick stop at McDonalds, I order a salad and her chicken nuggets and we have just enough time to eat and drive across town before rehearsal starts. I’ve been to the studio a few times to watch Skylar practice, and I always feel a little awkward. I’m not in any way a deadbeat dad, but the fake smiles and meaningless conversations make me wonder what’s really been said about me. Sometimes I wish I could peel away all the fakeness, but I know it would never happen. The truth is, I left, and I’m sure Maggie told them all I wouldn’t make it
to practice. But here I am, proving her wrong, proving that I’ll do anything for my little girl. After we learn the basic moves, Skylar holds my hand and I know when we’re apart these are the little moments I’m going to miss. She’s all smiles and tells all the little girls in the room that I’m her dad as we break. All the kids run into the hallway to grab water, and the dance teacher sashays toward me. “I’m happy to see you here Mr. Knight.” She’s being formal and I’m unsure if I should just allow her to continue on, but I do. It’s easy for me to a build a wall around myself and watch my surroundings and she seems to interact with all the parents this way. “Thanks. I’m happy to be here.” I’m polite but I’m already wishing this conversation was over. The look on her face tells me she’s about to drill me with questions, but just as she opens her mouth to speak, my phone rings and I see it’s Maggie. It’s the first time in a long while that I’m happy she’s called. I smile at the teacher and she takes her cue to walk away. “Hey,” I say quietly not trying to draw attention to myself. “Just making sure you made it to practice. I know how traffic seems to stop you from being on time regularly.” I push down my annoyance and smile. “Yep. We’re here now. We’re going to go through the routine a few more times then we’ll be out of here.” “Great. I was thinking I’d pick up Skylar after.” My face tightens, and I don’t like where this is going. “Why? I’ve got her this weekend.” “My parents want to see her since they’re in town.” “Okay, well I’m her father and I’m in town. You can take her to see them next weekend.” “I’ll be there in the next thirty minutes, Logan. Please don’t cause a scene when I get there,” she says sternly. The kids start feeding into the room, and I walk down the hallway for a little privacy. “I barely get to see her and then you pull this shit. This is really low. And her clothes are at the hotel. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” “Plans change, Logan. If anyone knows that, you should. Feel free to drop her clothes off before you head back to Sacramento. I’ve gotta go.” Maggie hangs up. I jog back down the hallway into the room where the whole class is impatiently waiting for me. I apologize and we start the dance routine immediately. I try to wear a smile for Skylar’s sake, but it’s so hard knowing our weekend is being cut short. Once class is over, Maggie walks in and acts so fake that it drives at my nerves.
“Come on, Skylar, we’re going to see Grannie and Papa,” Maggie says. Skylar immediately starts to revolt. She runs to me and grabs my hand, which I know Maggie hates. “Come here right now,” Maggie demands. “No!” Skylar yells and it’s quickly becoming a scene in front of the other dance parents. I kneel until I’m eye to eye with her and wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Skylar,” I say softly, “listen. Grannie and Papa really, really want to see you today.” “But we were supposed to build a blanket fort and eat ice cream.” My heart is tearing in two. I fucking hate this. “I know and I pinky promise next time we’re going to. But you have to go with your mom. Okay?” At first, she doesn’t answer, but then she slowly nods and wraps her arms around my neck and I give her a hug. “I love you, baby.” “I love you too, Daddy. I don’t want you to go.” “I know, baby.” I stand up and look at Maggie and the distaste in my demeanor is not lost on her. Taking every extra moment I can, I walk Skylar to Maggie’s car and buckle her in. I give her another hug and make promises I intend to keep. After I shut the door, I walk around to Maggie before she can get in the car. “Here’s the deal. You find a job in Sacramento and move closer to me and our parents or I will call my lawyer. I’m not playing this game anymore, and before you start, this isn’t a threat. So, figure out the time line and let me know when you’re moving. The sooner, the better.” I don’t give her a second to respond before I walk away. Right now, I’m so furious that my precious time with Skylar was stolen that I can barely think straight.
KAYLA It’s been almost a week since the kiss that saved me from one of the worst dates I’ve ever had, and I still feel it lingering on my lips. I know it wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but I can’t get it out of my mind. The way his hand greedily touched my cheek, the way his body pressed against mine, and the way his mouth captured mine. It’s not something a girl like me easily forgets when it’s with a guy like Logan Knight. And my body certainly as hell hasn’t forgotten it either. Just thinking about it and picturing it in my mind sends shivers down my spine.
Walking into work, I’m greeted by my co-worker, Lucy. She’s holding a mug the size of her head filled with hot coffee, as she does every morning, but the messy topknot on her head is a new look. “Rough night?” I inquire as we both step onto the elevator. She snorts. “Rough weekend.” Laughing, I press the button to our floor and watch as she hangs onto the railing. “So that must be what a social life looks like.” I sigh. “Or wild sex,” she blurts out, perking up. I pretend to gag at her amazing sex life. Considering the last guy I dated, Tyler and I didn’t have a great sex life, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve had wild sex, or just good sex in general. He was a decent guy, but there were no sparks there. I didn’t want to lead him on any longer into thinking my feelings matched his when they didn’t. “Please, spare me the details,” I say, dryly. “I’ve had nothing but one failed date after another, and I’m ready to just call it quits. I’m going to be that old lady who dies in her house with her seventeen dogs and no one even notices because they end up eating my corpse.” “Geez, Kayla.” She flashes me a look. “A little morbid for eight a.m. on a Monday, don’t ya think?” I sigh and blow out a slow breath. “Sorry. I’m PMSing. Doesn’t help that I’ve legit had zero success on that stupid dating website. Either it’s broken or I am.” The elevator doors open and we both walk toward our offices. “Don’t worry, Kay. The right guy will come along.” She flashes a genuine smile and even in her sex-crazed daze, she sounds sincere. I huff at her words, because I don’t believe them for a second. “Easy for you to say. You’re married to the perfect guy.” She releases a slow sigh and her lips part in a giddy smile. “Yeah, he really is perfect. His hair. His lips. His abs. His co—” “Okay!” I interrupt. “I get it. He’s Mr. Wonderful.” “Oh, stop it. Whatever happened with Mr. Knight in shining armor?” “Absolutely nothing.” I told Lucy about our impromptu kiss last weekend and she knows all about our nonrelationship relationship since the day Logan and I met. I’ve told her little details about how I thought maybe something could form between us and how he’d slow danced with me at the wedding and how it was much more than just two friends dancing, yet he refuses to date. She thinks it’s because he swings
for the other team, but knowing what I know now, I’m pretty sure it’s because of his daughter. Speaking of which, I need to text Courtney and update her. She’s still in Hawaii, but they come back in a few days, and I’ll need to catch her up pronto. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to show him what he’s missing.” She winks as she slows her pace and stops in front of her office. I head down to my office and decide I should text Courtney although she won’t get it until she lands on Thursday. K: I hope you’re having a great time on your honeymoon! I miss you! I have SO much to tell you! But it’s probably a good thing you aren’t here this week because I’m super PMSing and it’s not a good look for me. My cramps are a bitch and the dogs nearly killed me this morning when they saw a rabbit and decided they needed to chase after it. Really did wonders for my bleeding uterus. Anyway, come back pregnant! Love you! I smile as I hit send and turn on my computer. My work back load is ridiculous right now and taking those few days off the other week only added to it. I create a checklist for myself so I can have the satisfaction of marking off tasks although it’s going to be a mile long before the day is over. By lunchtime, I’m starving and have checked four lousy things off my list. Lucy and I meet for a quick bite in the shopping center next to our office building. “If I have to do another bedroom makeover for a spoiled teenager’s sweet sixteen, I’m going to vomit all over their Prada shoes,” I groan as we take our seats. “Hey now. Leave Prada out of this,” she tells me seriously. I snort and roll my eyes. “I love my job, I do. But there are days that make me second-guess my decision.” “Are you sure that’s not the PMS talking?” she teases. I throw a French fry at her. “Oh, more than likely, but I really am annoyed with all these kids getting bedrooms that cost more than my entire house, car, and life savings. Like what happens when they move out? Or go to college? You did all that for two years of use?” “You’re giving it way too much thought. Trust fund babies live at home until they get their trust funds—usually at twenty-one or twenty-five—and then take everything with them to their new penthouse.” I frown. “That’s even more depressing.”
She pats me on the shoulder with a snarky grin. “Chin up, buttercup! These Prada-wearing rich teenyboppers are what keep us in business.” “Don’t remind me,” I groan. When I first decided to go to school for interior design, it was because I loved the thrill of putting something new together. It felt like art to me. Taking a blank canvas and designing it to fit the person’s personality. Every new canvas is a challenge and I love that aspect of the job. Nothing’s ever the same. Every client is different, which keeps my job interesting. Lately, my passion for animals and volunteering at the shelter weigh heavy on my mind. I believe working with animals is my true calling, but if all I can offer is my volunteer services to wash dogs, play with them, and help find them new homes, then I’m okay with that for now. Once Lucy and I finish lunch, we head back to our building, and I’m surprised when I see a vase of flowers and a small box sitting on my desk. “For a girl with crappy dating skills, you sure got some nice flowers,” Lucy says, following me in. “Who are they from?” I’m wondering the same thing. “I have no idea. It’s probably a misdelivery,” I say, jaded. “Read the card, dummy.” She picks it off the card holder and hands it to me. Grabbing it from her, I try and think of who would’ve sent me these. After the way my date with Fred ended, I’d highly doubt they’d be from him. Sorry to hear about your lady troubles. Hopefully chocolates and flowers cheer you up! -Logan P.S. I think you meant to text Courtney ;) “Oh my God,” I mutter, staring at the words on the card. “Oh. My. God.” I close my eyes “What is it?” Lucy asks, but I ignore her as I dig around for my phone. Searching through my text messages, I see the message I sent to Logan instead of Courtney. He was the last person I texted and without thinking I clicked on it and started rambling off about my period like a crazy person. “Oh my God,” I whine as I sit down in my chair. “They’re from Logan,” I tell her. “Really?” Her eyes widen and her lips part in a smile. I hand her the card and within seconds, she bursts out laughing. “This is not funny.” I scowl at her. “I sent this whole long message to Courtney about PMSing and how crappy I feel, except I texted it to Logan.” I slam my head into my desk and groan. “This is pure fucking gold.” She continues laughing at my humiliation.
“Do you understand why I suck at dating? I texted the one guy I’m interested in about my bleeding uterus.” I lift my head and see she’s narrowing her eyes at me. “Oh, sweet Jesus, Kay.” She’s shaking her head at me, pursing her lips together as she fails to hold in more laughter. “At least he was thoughtful enough to send gifts.” “I’ll never be able to look him in the eyes again.” “Stop being dramatic. He obviously found it funny and wanted to make you feel better,” she says sincerely, but I’m too mortified to take her seriously. “Maybe he’s not as off the market as you think?” Doubt it. Once I finally get her out of my office and can be humiliated privately, I text Logan in hopes of redeeming myself. K: I’m a freaking idiot. I’m so sorry for sending you that message and burning those images into your brain. You probably want me to lose your number now, right? L: Well once I bleached my eyes and watched an hour of amateur porn, I was good. Then I figured since Courtney wasn’t here to console you, I’d send you some reinforcements to help you get on the mend. K: Glad I could help feed your porn addiction. L: I had to get the images out of my head somehow. K: But seriously. Thanks for the flowers and chocolate. It was really sweet. L: My pleasure. Hope you feel better soon, Kayla. I’m practically swooning in my office chair just from reading his words. I hear his deep, gravelly voice in my mind, and it takes all my willpower to put my phone down and get back to work.
CHAPTER FOUR LOGAN The week comes and goes and after my shift on Friday, I call it an early night. Only a few hours pass before I wake up, gasping for air. My heart is pounding hard in my chest, and I can’t seem to calm down or catch my breath. Trying a method I was taught years ago, I sit on the edge of my bed and count to ten. I feel my clothes sticking to my skin when I realize I’m soaked with sweat. As I rub my hands across my face, I can still hear the screams and gunshots in my head, which makes my ears feel like they’re ringing. The scenario in these nightmares may change, but the ending is always the same that causes me to wake in a panic. They come and go, but since it had been a while, I stupidly thought the nightmares were gone for good. I glance down at the time on my phone and notice it’s four in the morning. Although I’m exhausted, there’s no way I’ll be able to fall back asleep. Instead, I decide to take a lukewarm shower, get dressed, and drive down to the Eat & Drink Diner near the station. As soon as I walk in, I’m greeted by the night crew who know me by name. Over the years, I’ve become a regular. “Logan, sweetheart,” Mary says setting a steaming hot cup of coffee down in front of me. “It’s been awhile. Was wondering if you were ever coming back. You know I worry about my boys.” I give her a smile. It has been awhile since I’ve stopped by, especially since I’ve moved to a more regular schedule at work. Mary’s in her mid-forties and saw the world when she was in the army. She’s always been a good listener and understands me on a different level because of her military background. Not many people in my life know what it’s like to risk their life for our country and to fight for their life every day overseas. Many people don’t know how close I was to losing everything. Mary looks around before she speaks. It’s a regular hangout for the department, but tonight the place is almost empty.
“The military nightmares again?” She scoots in the booth in front of me as I take a sip of coffee. I nod and let out a deep breath. “I thought they were gone for good.” She stares at me for a moment, and I know she’s reliving her past just as I am, but she doesn’t push me on it. It’s been eight years since I was medically discharged, but there are times when it feels like yesterday. The nightmares tend to bring me back to those moments I try so desperately to forget. “You know what you need? A fresh cooked meal. Henry,” she yells over her shoulder. “Breakfast special. Sunny side. Wheat toast. Crispy bacon. Side of strawberry jam.” “You know me so well.” She laughs. “You’ve ordered the same thing for years. It’s permanently etched into my notepad by this point.” “True, very true.” Mary leans in a little closer. “You know if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.” I give her a smile. She’s offered to listen so many times that I’ve lost count, but I don’t. I don’t want to burden her with the details. The only person I’ve ever chatted with is my therapist and I like to keep it that way. At least then I know it’s confidential. Even speaking to her is hard. “It’s easier for me to not talk or think about it.” “I understand. You know where to find me if you change your mind.” Mary grabs some menus and sits a few people that walk in. Soon my food is placed on the table along with a fresh cup of coffee. Across the room a plate crashes to the floor and I jump, spilling coffee in my lap. I stand but I’m immediately taken back to the warzone and the warmth on my leg reminds me of blood. I close my eyes and tighten my fist before I lose it. Mary comes to me, places a hand on my shoulder and sits me down as I try to grasp reality. She hands me napkins to clean the coffee from my pants, and I’m in a daze. The nightmares have affected me more than I imagined and I feel weak, which I hate. Worry fills Mary’s eyes and before she can ask any questions, I pay my bill and she hands me a cup of coffee to go before I head back home. I know I need to deal with this today, and, honestly, I can’t wait to meet Drew and the crew for a late lunch today. I got a reminder text about the lunch as soon as they landed on Wednesday, but I’ve been giving the newlyweds their space. I’ll be happy when things have settled, because Drew makes for good company, and over the years, he’s become more like my brother than anything else. He’s seen my episodes when we were partners and together we’ve worked through it. Though he’s never fought in combat, Drew gets me and is
just as protective of me as I am of him. He’s the only best friend I’ve had since my army days. Once I’m back in my car, I feel the familiar pounding in my chest once again. I grab the steering wheel with tight hands and sit there, trying to take calm breaths in and out. Instead of forcing myself through it, I decide I need to talk about the way I feel before the anxiety slowly creeps up and takes control. Before I put the car in drive, I email my therapist who specializes in veteran affairs and PTSD and ask if it’s okay if we meet today. Though the sun is barely over the horizon, I receive a reply to my email telling me to meet her at the office at eight. It might be the longest three hours of my life. I go home and change into some workout clothes and hit the gym. I run for an hour, lift weights, and stretch. By the time I return home and take a shower, I’m exhausted. When I look in the mirror, the black circles under my eyes are evident of that. I keep myself busy until it’s time to see Dr. Stevens. By the time I arrive at her office, I feel better and have gained control. “Logan,” she says and sits down in her office that always seems cozy. She doesn’t pull out a notepad, and I never feel like she’s dissecting me. I’m thankful because it was hard for me to commit to therapy. I tend to think I can take care of myself and my issues, until one day I realized I couldn’t. “Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.” My hand is shaking and I interlock my fingers together to steady myself, to try to find my calm. “You know I don’t mind. So, tell me what’s been going on.” Her voice is soft and sweet. I let out air. “The nightmares returned. Last night.” She’s patient and waits for me to continue as I search for the words to describe what I saw and felt. “I saw the faces of all the soldiers that were killed in combat. I heard their screams and cries for help as they took their last breaths. I had an episode at the diner when coffee spilled on my lap. But I didn’t see or feel coffee, it was blood.” My mouth goes dry and Dr. Stevens hands me a bottle of water. “The guilt of being one of the few who survived the IED still weighs on me heavily. I should be dead. I shouldn’t be here. I’m struggling and trying to fight off the demons of war right now, but I’m not sure I’m winning even after all these years.” “But you are here. You’re alive and you’re strong. You can work through this. I will help you work through this,” she says, giving me the encouragement I need. “How do you feel right now?” “I’m a different person. Every time I look at Maggie she looks at me like I’m a stranger and has since the day I returned from Iraq. I don’t think she ever
forgave me. When I see people walk toward me, I wonder where their weapons are hidden. Often, I want to drive in the middle of the road because I know it’s the safest place or was in Iraq. It’s been eight years and I still have good and bad days and I wonder if it will ever be only good days. I knew my life would be different after war. Everyone tells you that, but I never imagined it would be like this. I knew at an early age I was born to be a soldier, but now I realize it was a childish dream that forever changed my life and the way I live. I think back to what I could’ve done differently the day of the accident. Everything happened so fast and so slow and the result was losing everyone who patrolled with me along with my best friend. I’ll never forget the look on his mother’s face when I returned with his belongings. I’ll never forget the sound of her cries as she hugged my neck and I’ll always wonder if she resented me, because Jake should have been the one alive, not me.” “There is nothing you could’ve changed in that situation, Logan. Eventually you’ll have to stop blaming yourself and forgive yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Once you’re able to do that, I feel like you’ll be able to heal. You didn’t set the IED. You weren’t the one driving.” “But I was in a hurry to leave. We took a different route that I suggested.” “And as a group, you all decided together that was the best route. Just because there were different paths you could’ve taken, doesn’t mean you could’ve avoided the outcome. The reality is you don’t know and we can’t change the past. You’ll have to work through this every day to accept that what happened isn’t your fault. But it’s normal to feel like it is.” She keeps her voice soft. She’s heard me go over this story several times and probably knows it by heart. “I saw what war was, what it did to people and knowing what being calm in chaos really meant. How fucked up am I? I sometimes look at my daughter’s face and I wonder if her life would have been better without me. I look at Maggie and see the resentment she has each time she speaks to me. I’m known as a hardass. I don’t give people chances to get close and push them away as fast as I can.” She looks at me with sad eyes and I can just imagine the stories she’s heard. “And how does that make you feel when you do that? When you push people away?” “That I’m protecting them from me and my problems,” I answer truthfully. “Have you been avoiding people lately?” I laugh. “When am I not?” “I’m not telling you to open up to everyone, but having relationships with people can help you not be so isolated. Everyone deserves to have friendships, to
love, and have meaningful relationships. I understand wanting to be protected and keeping to yourself, but isolation combined with life stress can often be a breeding ground for the nightmares. When is the last time you felt like yourself?” “When I was with Skylar last weekend. I want to do everything I can to protect her, to make sure she lives an amazing life. I’ve even told Maggie I want them to move back to Sacramento so I can be closer to my daughter. When I’m with Skylar, and she’s smiling, enjoying the life I worked so hard to protect, I know it was all worth it. Skylar gives me purpose.” “That makes me so happy to hear, Logan. If and when she moves closer, I think that will be good for you. I want to give you some homework, and I want to see you next month.” “Okay,” I say, intrigued. “I want you to keep a notepad by your bed, and the next time you wake up with nightmares, write down everything you feel in that moment and bring it to your next session so we can work through it. Remember the breathing and meditation techniques we’ve discussed before. You can’t change the past and what happened wasn’t your fault. Repeat it.” I feel stupid saying it but maybe I’ll eventually believe my words. “We have a support group that meets every Thursday evening over at the Veterans Center. I’d like to encourage you to attend. Everyone there has experienced traumatic events, war, and understand what you’re going through.” “I might,” I say. Each time she’s suggested I attend, I’ve blown her off. In public settings, I build my walls and keep people out. I watch my surroundings. The last thing I ever want is to bring my personal issues out in the open. She lifts her eyebrow. “It might be beneficial for you, but it’s completely up to you. I think you’re making good progress and continuing with the sessions will help until you feel better. If you ever need to chat after hours, I’m always available. Just shoot over an email, call, or text.” “Thank you, Dr. Stevens.” By the time our session is over, I feel as if the elephant is no longer sitting on my chest and I’m almost able to breathe easy. I drive home and finish up some last-minute paperwork before I head over to Drew and Courtney’s. Being around them will most likely take my mind away from the past and will force me into the present.
KAYLA
Saturday morning rolls around and me and the boys take our morning walk to Donny’s. They have so much damn energy this morning, my arm is sore before we even make it to the bakery. Donny gives me a big smile and waves as I leave. Holding my coffee tight in my hand, I pass the house that’s been on my radar for over a week. I slow and peek over the fence to see if Herman is tethered outside. Slightly relieved, I’m happy to see he’s not there today, and I relax—for now—even though my heart knows this isn’t over yet. I bring the boys back home and unlock the doggy door so they can go in and out on their own throughout the day then hurry and get dressed. Quickly I check the time and grab my keys. Today I’m on a schedule and must play it just right so I have time to stop by Courtney’s for the lunch they’re having around two. They’ve been gone for ten days and I’ve missed them both dearly. I drive across town and walk into the soup kitchen on North Street, put on my apron, and give everyone hellos. “Kayla,” Delores says, patting my back with a big smile. She’s over the volunteers and has spent the last thirty years serving meals to the homeless. Each time I look at her soft face and see how she treats everyone the same regardless of their situation, it reminds me to be a better human. I look at the faces of those who hand over their meal tickets and know that I could’ve easily been any one of them. The odds were stacked against me, but somehow, I beat them. I scoop so many mashed potatoes and gravy on each of the plates that I don’t even notice how the time slipped through my fingers. After I help clean up, I throw my apron in the dirty clothes hamper and start a load. Before I can leave, Delores stops me. “Hey Kay, come see,” she says placing her hand on my shoulder and leading me to her office in the back. A few people are prepping food for tomorrow as other are mopping the floors and cleaning the tables. The dining hall still has a few people scattered around but for the most part, everyone ate and left. Sometimes it’s a thankless job and time and time again my heart breaks, because I want to do more. I genuinely want to make a difference. She sits down behind her desk and hands over a few handwritten letters. “I’d like you to read those,” she says sweetly. Note after note speaks of how I treated people kindly who walked through the food line and I don’t notice my crying until tears splash onto the paper in my hand. “I’m so touched, I don’t even know what to say.” “You don’t have to say anything dear. I just want you to know that you’re appreciated here and your compassion shines through.” I smile at her before I stand and hand the letters back over to her. “Thank you so much for sharing that with me.”
“Thank you for giving your time to the kitchen. It’s appreciated.” She stands and gives me a hug and pulls me into her arms tight like I’m family. It’s easy for me to sink into that feeling because a family is all I’ve ever wanted. Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t in my cards. Being in and out of foster care until I was considered an adult shaped the way I am today. I drive across town and head straight to Courtney’s and sit in traffic for almost an hour which makes me late to the party. Before I get out of the car, I see Travis and Viola is here, and glance over at Logan’s car. My heart starts pounding and I adjust the ponytail on my head and try to smooth down the flyaways. Damnit, I should have gone home and changed first, but I’m already late. I suck in a deep breath and get out of the car. As soon as I walk in, I catch sight of Logan leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. A smile is on his lips and his arms are crossed over his chest. Courtney’s laugh echoes through the house and a smile fills my face when Viola waves at me. Viola and I were roommates in college, and ever since I was a bridesmaid in her wedding, we’ve become the best of friends. Together, Courtney, Viola, and I are the three musketeers. They are the closest thing to a family I’ve ever had and I’ll forever be grateful for their friendship. I walk into the kitchen and Courtney runs over to me and gives me a big hug. “Kayla! Where the hell have you been? I was worried about you!” “Sorry, I was volunteering this morning and got stuck in traffic.” I smile. “Hey, Kay! Grab a drink and meet us outside,” Drew says, grabbing plates and walking toward the patio door. “Sure,” I say and Logan hands me a bottle of water. Courtney and Viola follow Drew and Travis outside, so only Logan and I are left in the kitchen. His body is close to mine and I can smell the freshness of the soap on his skin. I breathe in his scent and swallow hard, trying to take my mind off the way his tongue licks his bottom lip. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since our kiss and since I accidently texted him and he sent over flowers and chocolate. I try to gain control, but the way he’s staring intently at me and the silence between us is almost too much. “Um,” he says. “You have something on your shirt.” I look down and see mashed potatoes on me. “Oh my gosh. I was serving mashed potatoes at the soup kitchen,” I say, grabbing a dishrag and rubbing the mess from me. He searches my face and a smile plays on his lips. “What?” I ask playfully. “You’re...” He looks as if he’s trying to find his words, but there’s something else there. Something I wish I could uncover.
I lift my eyebrows and wait, but I feel nervous locked under his gaze. “You’re just a genuinely good person.” “I just want to make a difference.” I let out a small laugh and hear Courtney calling our names and I’m thankful for the interruption. “I guess we should get going?” “After you.” Logan opens the door and I walk out and see Viola and Travis’ cute babies. TJ is only a few months old and is in a baby carrier against Courtney’s chest. Ginny and James are sitting at the table playing with their toys. I take a seat next to Courtney and the only other available seat is directly in front of me, where Logan sits. I glance over at Court and she shrugs, but I know she’s still playing matchmaker. It’s in her blood. Hell, it’s in Viola’s blood too. They’re all guilty, even if it’s by association. “So how was the honeymoon?” Viola asks and Courtney goes into detail as Drew fills our plates with hamburgers. “Oh my God! It was amazing! I swam naked at the beach under the stars and moon.” Courtney is really excited about it. Drew smiles and shakes his head. “Whatever, Drew. You did too!” Courtney laughs and then continues about how they took surfing lessons and swam with the dolphins. Her skin is a pretty golden brown from all the sun she got. “You said you wouldn’t tell anyone,” Drew jokes. I can’t help but laugh. The love they have for each other is so beautiful and natural. “So, about those nieces and nephews?” Viola adds and Travis cracks up, because Viola has brought up the need for Courtney and Drew to have kids pronto for the past few years, even before they were married. “Well,” Courtney says, getting quiet. Viola’s eyes go wide. “What? You’re already pregnant?” “No, no! But we’ve already decided to start trying right away.” Courtney smiles and Drew leans over and gives her a kiss on the cheek. My eyes go wide and I feel them starting to water because I’m genuinely happy to hear this. They’ll both make amazing parents. “I’m so happy for you two,” I add and Courtney wraps her arm around me and squeezes. “I mean, it could take a while to get pregnant, but I stopped taking my birth control so I can officially start tracking my cycle.” “Well, if Drew’s sperm is anything like Travis’, I bet you’ll be knocked up with quadruplets by next weekend,” Viola teases.
“Can you leave my sperm alone, sis?” Drew responds back as he sits next to Courtney. We’re all laughing and when I look up and see Logan watching me, heat rushes to my cheeks, and my mouth goes dry before he looks away. Damn it. He’s making me nervous. Once we’re done eating, the kids are cranky and Travis and Viola decide to get them home before they turn into little demons. We all exchange hugs. “We should hang out next week,” Viola suggest as she squeezes me goodbye. “Just the girls.” “I need a girls’ night,” Courtney yells from the kitchen. “And a massage.” “I’ll get something together and let you both know,” Viola says loud enough for Courtney to hear. “I LOVE YOU!” Courtney runs and gives Viola a huge hug and almost knocks her over, so I grab Viola and we all almost land on the floor laughing. “Well that escaladed quickly,” I quip. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how much momentum I had.” Courtney reaches out her hand and helps us gain our footing. We all give the kids kisses and hugs and walk Viola and Travis outside. Courtney shuts the door behind her and lets out a happy sigh. “I can’t wait to fill this house with babies.” “I can’t wait either. I’m going to spoil the shit out of them,” I promise, and she wraps her arm around me and we walk back into the kitchen and finish cleaning up. “Are you going to tell me what happened. I got your text and was basically freaking out,” Courtney whispers. We haven’t had a chance to talk since I sent her that text. I look over my shoulder to make sure Logan and Drew aren’t around and move in closer to her. “I found out who Skylar is.” Her eyes go wide and I can tell she’s on edge waiting. “It’s his daughter.” Courtney covers her mouth with her hands. “I know. But the problem is he doesn’t know that I know. It’s a big mess and I feel like an asshole for looking at his phone when we were at the coffee shop. I don’t know what to do. I’m really confused about it all. And the kiss.” “Wait. You kissed KISSED?” I give her all the details of what happened with another awful online date and how he came to my rescue and kissed me. Her eyes widen and her lips part, but she doesn’t speak. She’s just as shocked as I am. “Then he sent flowers and chocolate to my office when I texted him about my bleeding uterus when I thought I was texting you.”
Courtney gives me a hug and she’s so damn excited but I’m totally confused. “What?” I ask. “You know what this means, right? He’s totally into you.” I roll my eyes. “No. He’s not. He’s made so many side comments in the past about how I deserve X, Y, and Z as if he’s not any of those things.” “He’s playing hard to get. It’s so damn obvious,” Courtney says matter-offactly. “Who is?” Logan asks as he walks into the kitchen. “Oh, this guy Kayla knows at work. He’s totally into her and I told her she just needs to get over her fear and ask him on a date because he’s too chicken to ask her. I mean she’s such a catch and someone is eventually going to snag her up.” Courtney covers our conversation but goes a little too far with it. Her country accent is seeping through. My eyes go wide because she made up this person off the top of her head and I’m thankful Logan can’t see my face. Until he walks around me and reaches into the fridge to grab a beer. Before he walks away his eyes meet mine. “Really? I thought you didn’t date people you worked with?” Busted. I swallow, not wanting to lie, but it’s true that I don’t date people at work. “She’s just being modest about it.” Courtney pats me on the shoulder and smirks. “So, what’s been going on with you, Logan?” “Work. That’s about it.” “Quit giving him a hard time.” Drew peeks around the corner and asks Logan to hand him a drink as well. “For once, I wasn’t.” Courtney holds out her hands innocently. “Ask him.” “She wasn’t.” Logan reaches back in the fridge and looks back at me. “Well if you’re into him, you should go for it regardless of your rules. Just make sure he’ll treat you right, and that he doesn’t wear a bow tie and have a pocket protector.” I burst out laughing, but my heart aches knowing the truth. Logan Knight is who I want and can’t have. The heart wants what the heart wants, and I’m not sure anyone will be able to change that. I’m doomed.
CHAPTER FIVE LOGAN For the rest of the weekend, I find myself thinking about Kayla way more than I should’ve been. She’s such a good person. So inspiring by how she dedicates her time to the soup kitchen and animal shelter. The more I think about her, the more I know she deserves someone who can give her everything she wants. No drama, no baggage, no complications. As I pour another coffee refill into my travel mug—because it’s been that kind of day—I think back to the dreams that have been keeping me up the past few nights. I don’t want to think about them, but I know the longer I pretend they aren’t happening, the more I’m going to have them. And I need some fucking sleep. Have I mentioned how much I dislike Mondays? “Knight!” I hear behind me. Putting the lid back on my mug, I turn and see my colleague, Brantley Hunter walking toward me. I nod toward him and wait for him to catch up to me. “How’s it goin’, man?” he asks in his deep southern drawl. Brantley and his wife moved to California about a year ago, but his accent only seems to get thicker. “Good. What’s up?” I ask, eyeing the file he’s holding in his hand. “Supervisor Royal is handing out new assignments,” he tells me. “We’re partners on it.” Brantley and I have worked several assignments together already, but I mostly prefer to work solo. I don’t mind the company though, considering I’ll probably need it to take my mind off not sleeping. “Great. What is it?” “Suspected drug trafficking in Elk Grove. Neighbors say there’s been a lot of in and out traffic in a house near the high school and wants us to go check it out. Interview the neighbors for potential witnesses and do a possible stakeout.” “In the ‘burbs?” I arch a brow, not that I’m really shocked. Housewives are the best dealers—the most unsuspecting and hardest to catch considering they’re usually much smarter about their trade. “Guess I better go suit up.” I take a large
sip of my coffee, hoping this new case will be a big enough distraction for me to sleep at night. Brantley starts walking toward his office and calls over his shoulder, “We leave in ten!” I let him drive so I can read through the case file. He turns into the neighborhood of the suspicious address and it looks like a dream place to live. Modern homes, clean-cut yards, privacy fences, and three-car garages. It’s everything I’d love to be able to give Skylar one day. “Houses in this neighborhood cost more than four times my salary,” Brantley says. “Why risk it all for a little side dealing?” “Maybe it’s no longer a side job. Bored housewife starts turning profit and the temptation is too strong to quit,” I tell him, knowing from previous work experience. It wouldn’t be the first time I saw it happen. “How a person can just wake up one day and decide to sell drugs is unfathomable,” he tells me, shaking his head. “It’s not always that easy,” I mutter, although I’m not really sure he’s even listening to me anymore. “All right, that’s the one,” Brantley says, pulling my attention up to the culde-sac with only three properties on it. No wonder the neighbors notice a lot of cars coming in and out of there. “There’s a playset in the back,” I mumble, sadness in my tone. If there is indeed drug trafficking happening here, knowing that children may be living there, too, brings anger and sadness inside. “The perfect façade.” We’re parked down the block in an unmarked car in hopes of seeing an exchange happen. Grabbing my binoculars and camera from the backseat, Brantley shout-whispers and starts patting me on the arm. “Someone just pulled up.” “That was fast.” I hand him the camera and I take the binoculars. After thirty seconds, we realize it’s a false alarm. Looked like one of the kids was being dropped off from school probably, considering the backpack he’s wearing. The car backs out of the driveway and drives off. “Damn,” Brantley pouts, setting the camera down in his lap. Twenty minutes later, another car pulls up and the same kid who was just dropped off comes walking out. I watch through the binoculars as he leans up against the driver’s side door and they talk for less than a minute before the car backs up and leaves. “I’m pretty sure they just exchanged,” I tell Brantley. I didn’t see any money or product exactly, but there was just enough movement to insinuate the kid handed him a baggie while the other kid handed him a bill.
“That kid can’t be no older than fourteen!” Brantley exclaims. “There’s no way.” “He’s under sixteen for sure, considering he probably doesn’t have his license and that’s why he gets a ride home from school,” I explain. “I bet his parents have no clue either.” “Or they know but don’t care enough to do anything about it,” Brantley suggests. “Or they’re in on it,” I respond. God, this kid is going to flush his entire future down the toilet. We can’t do anything about it until we have actual proof, but this is a great start to getting there. Less than ten minutes later, another car pulls up; the kid comes out, they exchange, and in less than a minute, the car is gone. “Where the hell are his parents?” Brantley mutters. “Probably working.” Another five minutes pass, another car comes and goes, and then another one pulls up but it doesn’t idle in the driveway. They park in the driveway and we both watch as the door swings open, waiting to see who’s home. “Ten bucks it’s the mom,” Brantley says as we both wait to see. We both gasp as soon as we see who it is. “No fucking way,” I mutter. “What the hell is she doing here?” “Who’s that?” he asks, grabbing the binoculars to get a better look. I inhale a deep breath. “That’s Penelope Royal.” Supervisor Royal’s oldest daughter. “Holy. Shit.” Brantley draws out slowly, the exact same thing I’m thinking. “She’s seventeen. She could get tried as an adult if she’s involved.” “Could she just be a friend?” Brantley asks in a hopeful tone. “I doubt it. She’s too old to be hanging out with a kid that age, but I guess who knows.” We watch as she stalks inside in six-inch heels and a designer bag hanging off her shoulder. Her father would never buy that expensive shit for her, which only confirms my suspicions. If she is involved with that kid, she’s using her portion of the money to buy the things her parents won’t. She doesn’t even knock; she just walks right inside. I know for a fact that she doesn’t live there and even though her parents are divorced, I also know her mother doesn’t live in this neighborhood. The anticipation is thick as we wait for her to come back out. It’s at least thirty minutes before we see any movement. The screen door swings open, but
she doesn’t step out just yet. A pair of hands wrap around her waist and pull her in for a kiss. “Jesus Christ,” I curse. “She’s sleeping with that kid who’s probably giving her his drug money.” They talk and mess around for a few moments before she finally wrangles out of his grip and starts walking back to her car. Before she makes it, the guy comes running out in only his boxers and you can see her laughing as he lunges at her for one last kiss before she can leave. “I don’t think that’s the kid,” Brantley says, watching intently. Holy fuck. My eyes widen as I realize what he’s referring to. That’s not the kid. That’s got to be the kid’s father. He’s at least forty, gray sprinkled in his facial hair, and an obvious wedding band on his left hand tells us everything. They’re having an affair. His teenage kid is dealing. The father is probably using his cut to buy gifts for his mistress, and if he keeps buying them, she’ll keep coming. The kid probably knows all about it, too. “Dysfunctional with a capital d,” Brantley murmurs. Just when we think shit couldn’t get any worse, another car pulls up less than ten minutes later and parks in the driveway. She’s dressed in a skirt and blazer and carrying a work bag. This time it’s an older woman. Probably the kid’s mom and the father’s wife. And she’s oblivious to all of it.
KAYLA Seeing Logan over the weekend brought all those stomach butterflies back. I know he’s told me he can’t get involved right now, but every time he’s around me, I feel the electricity between us, and I wonder how he can deny it’s there. The way he looks away from me when I catch him staring or how he always finds an excuse to do something unexpected for me. I know he’s fighting it. Seeing Courtney and Viola again brought back so many memories of when all three of us used to hang out all the time. I know we’ll always be friends, but sometimes it’s hard to be the odd one out. Viola and Travis are married with three kids, Courtney and Drew are now married and trying to have a baby, and I’m single with three fur babies who hasn’t gone on one single decent date in months. Even while Tyler and I were dating, he didn’t really take me out on dates. Not that I’m the type to expect to be taken out all the time, but I would’ve appreciated some effort once in a while. In and out of the bedroom.
Another workday has me dragging myself out of bed early to walk the dogs and grab breakfast before I must get ready and head to the office. “All right, boys. Patience,” I tell them as we walk inside Donny’s. He greets us as soon as he hears the bell on the door. “Good morning!” He smiles. “My favorite customers.” I smile even though I know he says that to all his customers. “Morning,” I repeat, trying to keep the dogs from jumping on him. “They’re a little energetic this morning.” “I can tell. You look a little tired.” His lips tilt up into a knowing smile. “Ha-ha, Donny. What gave it away?” I mock, knowing I probably have bags under my eyes. “Well for starters, that donut mask thing you’re wearing on your forehead like a hat was my first clue.” “What?” I nearly gasp as I pat my forehead and feel the sleeping mask I forgot to take off. “Oh my God,” I groan. “I can only imagine what people driving by thought as they saw me.” I sigh, grabbing it off my head and shoving it in my pocket. “Probably that you need coffee and donuts.” He smirks. “You sleep with that on your face all night long?” he asks as he packs up my order. “Yeah, I need my room pitch black to fall asleep,” I explain, hoping he doesn’t probe more into it. Ever since I was a little kid, I preferred to sleep in complete darkness, mostly because I was scared. You’d think it’d be the opposite, but when you’re being juggled from foster home to foster home, you learn quick that darkness is the only safety net from the reality that’s lurking around when the sun rises. At least in the darkness, I could imagine being anywhere I wanted to be. I wasn’t in some crappy room where I didn’t recognize anything because nothing was mine. I wasn’t in an unfamiliar home once again and I could fall asleep dreaming of what if instead of what is. Once the dogs get their donut treats and I pay, we head back out so I’m not late for work. Just my luck, Kristoff wants to stop and pee at every single tree and fire hydrant. A man with two large black labs is walking right toward us and all three of mine go nuts barking at them. I pull their leashes back so the man can walk around us, but, of course, Adam, being the stubborn one, pulls his leash out of my grip and gets all tangled in the guy’s leg and the other leashes. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry,” I blurt out, trying to grab the end of Adam’s leash while trying to control the other two dogs. “He won’t bite. He just wants to smell you.”
The guy laughs and when I look up at him, I relax when I notice he’s not mad or glaring at me. And not to mention, handsome as hell. “I’m not worried,” he says so casually, I sigh in relief. “Here, let me help,” he offers when he realizes I’m struggling to untangle them all. “Thank you. I’m a little disoriented this morning.” “It’s no problem.” His voice is smooth and completely calm. “I work with animals every day. I’m used to being jump on, barked at, bitten. You name it.” He hands me Adam’s leash when they’re finally all untangled. “Really?” I’m intrigued and he takes notice. “I’m a vet, so it’s kind of my job.” He winks and something inside me melts. Whoa. I hadn’t even really noticed what he looked like, and although his voice was intriguing, it’s nothing compared to his near-naked body standing in front of me. “You’re a vet?” I finally manage to speak. “That’s incredible.” “Yeah, I work at Wyatt Animal Village.” “Oh my God! That’s like the top ten rated best vets in the state. Very impressive,” I say, ignoring tingles that are surfacing. “I volunteer at the animal shelter a few times a week, and, well, it’s safe to say I can’t resist bringing them home with me.” “Really? Now that’s impressive. Unless you’re volunteering because it was court ordered?” He arches a brow, his lips tilting in a teasing smirk. I chuckle because it’s not the first time someone’s asked me that when they found out I do volunteer work. “No, not court ordered. Although, that’d probably be a way more interesting story.” “True, but I’m also kind of relieved.” He flashes a smile that could tear panties right off. I’m no expert in the dating scene, but I’m pretty sure Dr. Vet is flirting with me. “I’m Kayla, by the way. Kayla Sinclair. Just in case you don’t believe me about that court order.” I hold my hand out and he takes it in his, laughing at my lame introduction. “It’s nice to meet you, Kayla Sinclair. I’ll be sure to stalk you and run a full credit report.” “Oh, totally fine. Just don’t look up my arrest record,” I tease. “I’m Christian Wyatt. If you decide to look me up though, ignore that one time in college I got arrested for streaking.” I burst out laughing, completely captivated by this stranger I just met. “Wait. Wyatt? You’re the owner of Wyatt Animal Village?”
“Not yet. Technically, my father is and will be handing it down to me when he retires,” he explains, and I can’t stop looking at him and melting over the sound of his sultry voice. “Wow, that’s amazing. Sounds like a dream job.” Before he can reply, Philip lifts his leg and pees directly on Christian’s shoes. He looks down and completely breaks out in fits of laughter. “Philip! Bad dog!” I pull his leash back, knowing he won’t have any idea what he did wrong. “I’m seriously so sorry. I swear they aren’t always this obnoxious.” “Kayla, it’s fine. I promise. It’s not the first time I’ve been peed on and it won’t be the last.” He lifts his foot and shakes his shoe off over the grass. “I probably had it coming anyway. He looks like he’s pretty territorial of you.” I sigh. “He is. They all are. Bunch of mama’s boys.” I chuckle. “Yours seem so well behaved. Perhaps they should have a doggie playdate and can teach mine a thing or two about manners.” Did I just ask him out? I’m pretty sure that’s how it sounded. I hadn’t meant for the words to come out, but like everything else in my life, the words just came out like vomit. “I’d love that. Let me give you my card.” He reaches in his back pocket and grabs his business card out of his wallet before handing it over to me. “My cell number is on there, so feel free to contact me anytime you want to get them together.” I so appreciate him not making this a bigger deal and playing along with it being for the dogs. He knows I’m asking him out, which is something I don’t normally do—or at least do well—but this guy is actually decent. He’s extremely attractive, fit, tall, thick brown hair, light facial hair, and he loves animals. Is he even for real? “Perfect. Thank you.” I smile as I grab the card and hold it tightly between my fingers. “Well, I should get going. I need to be to work in like thirty minutes,” he tells me and something inside me snaps. “Oh my God! I’m going to be late for work. I’m so sorry to just run, but I’ll call you and set that playdate up soon! It was nice meeting you!” I’m practically halfway down the block by the time I stop shouting at him. God. He must think I’m a complete spaz. Rushing back to the house, I feed and water the dogs, hop in the shower, and get ready in record time. I nearly have enough time to brush my hair, so I throw it up in a bun and decide I’ll comb it out once I get to work. My boss won’t care that I just met the perfect guy this morning. He won’t care that Christian is a vet
and works with animals or that he’s clearly as passionate about them as I am. He won’t even care that I haven’t had sex—like good sex—in months. He’ll only care that I’m late for work and look like a train wreck. But it’ll be so worth it.
CHAPTER SIX LOGAN Tuesday morning rolls around and just as I walk into the PD, Brantley rushes up behind me and starts firing off questions. “What do you suggest we do? Are we going to tell Royal? Are we doing another stakeout?” I’ve barely had my coffee and slept like shit last night, so I’m in no mood to spell it out for him. I know what we should do, but I know we have to follow protocol; otherwise, it could jeopardize the entire case and the kid won’t get charged. “We do what we were put on this case to do. We’ll go door to door to interview some of their neighbors and see if they have anything we can add to build our case.” “That’s it? What about Royal’s daughter?” The concern in his voice is evident, but I’ve learned long ago to not attach myself to people or the cases I work. That’s when things start to slip by and you make mistakes. “What about her? We don’t have any proof. Just speculation,” I explain. “The last time that held up in a case was never, so for now, we continue our investigation and document it just like we always do.” “You don’t think when it comes out that we knew what was going on with his daughter that he won’t make us responsible for it?” “No.” Probably. But I don’t tell him that. I could break the code of ethics and tell Supervisor Royal his daughter is wrapped up in drug and affair scandal, but if this case is as big as I think it’s going to be, I can’t risk it. He’ll confront her, she’ll tell them we’re onto them, and they’ll just move their location of exchange leaving us with nothing. “He’ll understand,” I tell Brantley. He gives me a look that says he’s doubtful, but I don’t comment anymore on it. I have to finish writing up my notes and interview questions if we’re going to nail this case. After a long day, I finally head home at dinnertime and am excited when I see that Skylar’s FaceTiming me. “Hey, baby!” I greet as I see her smiling face. “Hi, Daddy! Guess what?” Before I can ask what, she continues rambling on.
“I was the student of the day! I got to write on the Smartboard, hand out papers, and be the line leader to the cafeteria!” Her energetic voice echoes through my living room and it makes me the happiest hearing her after a long day. “That’s amazing! How exciting, baby. I bet you had a blast,” I say, smiling from ear to ear at how happy she looks. She then goes into fine detail about everything she did that day from using the potty after recess to coming home and playing with her neighbor friend, Jessica. Soon, Maggie interrupts and tells her to go get her jammies on so she and I can chat. “Sounds like she had a great day,” I say, waiting for Skylar to be out of hearing distance. “She did, which is another reason moving her would be a bad idea. She likes her school and her friends and uprooting her would only upset her,” she tells me in a firm voice. “She’s six-years-old, Maggie. Kids her age are resilient. She’ll adjust and make new friends just fine,” I inform her, although I know she won’t agree with me. “Logan...” she begins, but I’m done listening to her excuses. “I’ve already done most of the hard work for you. I’ve been looking for decent apartments, job openings, the best elementary schools in the area, and I even got a quote from a moving company to help you pack and move everything here. I’ve offered to help you a dozen times so you don’t have to deal with the financial burden, so as soon as Skylar’s out of school, I want you to move here,” I say firmly, anticipating a fight. She goes quiet for a moment, her eyes glassing over. “Really? You did that for me?” The way she’s looking at me is the same way she used to look at me whenever we’d make up from a fight, but we’re no longer together so there’s no making up happening. “No, I did it for Skylar. She deserves to spend time with her mother and father. We’ll share custody and work around our work schedules so you still have your free time and we both get to spend time with her.” She shifts in her seat as she takes her eyes off me. I can tell she’s processing everything I just said. I’ve known her long enough to know what she’s thinking. She’s trying to think of something to counter my offer, but she has no reason to. I’m making this more than easy for her. “How’s June fifteenth sound?” I ask, trying to hold back a smile. “I’ll send you links I find of potential apartments and jobs, and anytime you have a job interview, you can bring Skylar here.”
“The only thing I’ll be able to afford there is a studio apartment where Skylar and I share a futon bed,” she says overdramatically. I’ve already told her a halfdozen times that I’d help her out if she needed it, but, apparently, she’s become hard of hearing since we’ve been together. “I’ll make sure you get a two-bedroom apartment or house in a good neighborhood, okay? I already told you I’d help.” She doesn’t respond right away, just sticks her nose up like a snob. “So now that you have nothing else to argue, can I say goodnight to Skylar?” She rolls her eyes and calls out for her. Skylar’s face pops back onto the screen and reminds me why I put up with Maggie in the first place. “Night, baby. I’ll talk to you in a couple days, okay? I love you!” I tell her. “Night, Daddy!” She waves and then blows a kiss at the screen. “Love you!” Once we log off, I decide to search for any new apartments and job listings. Lord knows Maggie won’t lift a finger. If I ever wanted anything done, I always had to do it myself or leave her a hundred reminders. Just another reason things would’ve never worked out between us anyway. I email Maggie some links that I think she’ll be interested in. Apart from always having to hold her hand, I’ll probably have to send in her resume and call for interviews, too. But it’ll all be worth it to see my little girl more often. I miss her and sick of missing so much of her daily life that I’ll never get back. Once I close my laptop for the night, I look around and think about how Skylar will be living here part-time in about a month. My house is decent size, especially just for one person, but it’s not set up for a child at all. I’ve always been the one to drive up and visit Skylar at her mom’s, mostly because Maggie refused to meet me halfway or compromise at all, so I did what I had to to spend time with her. I have a spare room that I can convert into a bedroom for her, but I don’t have any furniture or any necessities she’ll need. I make a mental list of things I’ll need to start buying, but honestly, it’s a little overwhelming. Skylar’s only six, so I know I can get away with a twin-sized bed and probably a nightstand and dresser. I’d like to get her some new sheets and clothes for her to keep here, but I don’t even know where to start on adding things she likes or how to decorate it. Just as I’m about to get up and dig around in the fridge for something to eat, my cell rings and I’m frozen in place when I see Kayla’s name appear on my screen. It’s after ten o’clock, so my curiosity spikes, and although I should keep my distance when it comes to her, I answer it anyway. “Hey,” I say, walking to the fridge and seeing if there’s anything I can easily whip up.
“Logan,” she whispers and my senses go into overdrive. “Kayla? Are you okay?” My heart is pounding in my chest with concern. “I don’t...” The phone begins to cut out as she talks and I can’t hear what she’s saying. “Hello? Kayla? Kayla? I can’t hear you.” I’m pacing back and forth in the kitchen as I struggle to hear her words. “Dammit!” I curse, my free hand forming a fist with frustration. Where the hell is she? “I need your help, Logan.” I hear her whimper and the broken sounds of her voice nearly cripples me. “Where are you?” I ask in a frenzy, grabbing my car keys off the countertop and walking toward the door. “I’m going to come to you.” “I’m on Spencer Ave.” “Okay, I’m on my way.” I shut the front door behind me and take wide strides to my car. “Text me the address number.” “You’ll see my car parked on the street,” she tells me, talking low. “Park behind me and walk to the big Oak tree across the street until you find me.” What the fuck? I have a million questions surfacing through my mind, but I want to get to her as quickly as possible so I rush out of my driveway and head toward her. “Okay, I’m on my way.” “Please hurry.”
KAYLA I can’t stop smiling. Since meeting Christian yesterday morning, I’ve been distracted by the thought of his eyes and the cute dimples that appeared when he smiled at me. I’m tempted to text Courtney—because I need to tell someone— but I know she’ll ask me a million questions I don’t yet have the answers to, so for now I keep it to myself. Even if it’s hard. “Hey,” Lucy calls as she pops her head in my office, breaking my trance. “Want to go out to that new Mexican restaurant for Taco Tuesday? I’ll even buy you the first margarita,” she says with a smirk, trying to lure me. “It’s two-for-one drinks,” I say flatly, knowing she’ll only have to buy one anyway. She sighs and steps inside. “Okay, fine. You caught me.” She laughs. “But c’mon. Hubby is playing poker tonight and I could use some girl time outside of work. So, what do you say?” She interlocks her hands together as if she’s praying in a pathetic plea and begs me to say yes. Worried I’ll spill details about Christian once I have some alcohol in my system, I counter her offer. “Okay, fine. But only one drink.” I point a finger at
her, letting her know I’m serious. She cocks her head as if to say she doesn’t believe me. “One. Drink,” I repeat. “But I’ll be glad to eat like five tacos if that makes you feel better.” Plus, if I’m stuffing my face, I won’t accidentally slip about Christian. As much as I want to, it feels like I’ll jinx it if I say it aloud. She smiles and starts skipping back to the hallway. “It will! I’ll meet you here after work!” The day flies by smoothly, and I’m excited to meet up with Lucy for tacos and drinks. I texted Viola and Courtney to come meet us, but Viola is home alone with the kids all night and Courtney and Drew are still in the honeymoon stage where they don’t come up for air unless there’s an emergency. Even after texting her Are you knocked up yet? and her replying with a picture of her ass in a thong with a message, Not yet, but we’re definitely working on it ;) I know I won’t be seeing much of her for a while. Can’t say I blame them though. If I were lucky enough to find that kind of love, I’d soak it up for all it’s worth. “So, you want to hear all about the latest drama in accounting?” Lucy’s an interior designer like me, but she lives for work gossip and knows everything about everyone in the building. “Obviously.” I take a bite of my chip dipped in salsa and listen as she spills all the juicy details. We finish eating and I stick to my word of only having one drink, although I’m tempted to have another. “Looks like it may rain soon. I should get going so I can walk the dogs before it gets dark,” I tell her, digging out my wallet so I can pay my tab. “Yeah, I should get going too. I have three weeks of The Bachelor to catch up on.” She grins. “You really do live for drama, don’t you?” I tease. “Drama and scandals, baby.” She sets cash down on the table, and by the way she smiles, I’m almost expecting her to throw it up in the air and make it rain just to prove her point. I snort and shake my head at her. We walk out together and say our goodbyes just before we both get into our cars. It’s later than usual for me to be getting home, so I know the boys are going to be eager to go on their walk. Chaos and barking greet me as soon as I walk in the door. Between jumping on me and their tails wagging so hard, it knocks over everything in their way, and I can tell they’re more than ready to go. “Boys! Hello! Are you ready to go out? Yeah? Okay, just give me a minute.” I set my purse down and quickly change into a pair of leggings and Chucks. Before I grab their leashes, I put a few treats in my pocket along with some dog
poop baggies. I leash them all and as soon as I open the door, they fly down the staircase and out onto the sidewalk. They furiously sniff everything they can and I have to pull them to encourage them to keep walking with me. “I know, you were all cooped up all day, but slow down. My feet were in heels all day,” I groan, knowing they won’t have any idea what I’m saying anyway. Since they had to wait longer for me to get home, I decide to take them on the scenic route. They’ll need to get the energy out of their systems now so they sleep tonight instead of constantly jumping on and off my bed. On our way back, it starts raining and I stupidly forgot to bring my jacket. “Shit,” I mutter. “C’mon, guys.” I try and speed up the pace, but it’s no use because I’m going to be drenched in a few seconds anyway. “I picked a bad time to wear white.” I mumble a few choice words to myself and do my best to keep my head down. We’re only a couple of blocks away from the house when I hear a dog whining. I look over and notice it’s the same yard as before with Herman. It’s hard to see between the rain and gloomy skies, but I’m pretty sure he’s tied up to the picnic table again. “Asshole,” I mutter at the dog owner who is nowhere to be seen or even cares he left their dog outside in the cold and pouring rain. His leash is wrapped around the leg of the picnic table, making it even shorter than normal. It gives him no room to move and by the looks of it, he can’t lay down either or get under the table to get out of the rain. All three of my dogs are barking as we approach Herman, which is scaring him even more. I throw them each a treat to quiet them until I can get closer to his leash and untangle him. Just as I’m about to unhook him and let him loose, the owner stalks in the yard and begins hollering at me to get off his property. When he gets closer, I realize he has a rifle in his hand. “You again?” My dogs begin barking aggressively at him, and I secretly wonder what would happen if I just happen to let the two big ones loose. “He’s going to die out here!” I yell between the rain falling and thunder echoing in the distance. Herman’s noticeably shivering and my anger rises. “He’s cold and wet and probably starving. He doesn’t deserve that!” “Henry’s an outside dog since he decided to be a little house-shitter,” he shouts, slurring his words. Philip and Adam are pulling against their leash the louder he gets.
“Henry?” I question, pulling the dogs back just enough so they’re still in front of me. “You said his name was Herman.” He throws his hand in the air like it’s no big deal. “Whatever.” “You don’t know your own dog’s name?” I scream, enraged. “His name is whatever the hell I want it to be! Now get off my property before I have you arrested for trespassing. Again.” He flashes his gun before resting it on his shoulders. “Fine,” I grit between my teeth, but this is far from over. I pull the dogs back as we walk back to the sidewalk. I watch to see if he brings Herman inside with him, and when he walks back into his house alone—it’s decided. I’m coming back for him.
As soon as we’re back in the house, I don’t waste much time getting things ready for leaving again. I dry off with a towel quickly and start packing a bag. That asshole isn’t getting away with this. I had the dogs shake off before we got back inside and fortunately now they’re all tired out and laying on the couch. I make sure to pack flashlights, towels, dog treats, and an extra leash. After I have everything, I grab a dark hoodie and pull the hood up over my head. I throw the bag over my shoulder and head back out. This time I take my car, even though I’m just going down the block, but the faster I get Herman out of there, the faster I can get him out of the cold and rain. Before starting the engine, I lay the towels down on my backseat so he has something dry to lay on. As I slowly drive down the road, the rain picks up and comes down harder. My windshield wipers can barely keep up, but, luckily, I don’t have far to go. I park on the opposite side of the street where Herman is still laying in the backyard, drenched and cold. I reach over and grab my bag before opening the car door. The street lights are dimmed by the rain, which I’m thankful for in this situation. The less chance of his deadbeat owner being able to see me the better chance at sneaking him out. There’s a few large trees and I hide behind one so I can scan the yard and make sure the old man is nowhere to be seen. There’s no traffic noise and everything is quiet except for the downpour of the rain, so I know I have to stay down and quiet or I’ll spook Herman. I grab the leash out of my backpack and wrap it around my neck so I can clip mine on him right away without the hassle
of trying to untangle his. The old man will see that Herman was rescued and that he’s no longer going to get away with being a neglectful owner. I reach for my flashlight and shine it toward Herman. I don’t know him well enough to trust that he won’t get spooked and bite me. I packed treats so he’ll eat them out of my hand and learn to trust me so he’ll allow me to get close to him. Crawling on the grass toward Herman, the rain starts blurring my vision. I can hear the water sloshing against my legs as I make my way to the picnic table. I’m almost there when I hear a loud slamming noise. Looking up, I see the owner coming out of his house and walking down the porch steps. He’s carrying a long item in his arms, and when I squint to get a better look, I see it’s his rifle resting on his shoulder. “I know you’re out here,” he shouts and shivers run down my spine. “Fuck,” I hiss, searching around for which direction I should go. If I head back the way I came, I’ll be in plain view. He’ll hear my shoes splashing against the grass and who knows if he’ll really shoot his gun at me, but at a time like this, I’m not sure it’s worth finding out. How’d he even see me in the dark? Creep probably has night vision binoculars. I hear him walking toward me, and if I don’t move, he’ll walk right into me. My car is too far away to just run for it, but I’m not sure I have much choice at the moment. “I told you to stay off my property,” he shouts again as I make my way to the other tree on the other side of the picnic table, but it doesn’t have a large enough trunk to hide me if he comes searching for me in this direction. In the spur of the moment, I decide to call Logan because I’m not sure I’ll be able to get myself out of this predicament without an extra hand now that the old man has seen me. I whisper and keep my voice low as best I can and only hope Logan can find me. We hang up and I hear the old man walking closer. “Come out, come out wherever you are,” he taunts in a low singsong voice. “I saw your little flashlight, so I know you’re here somewhere.” I kneel, holding as still as I can and trying to control my breathing so he doesn’t hear me. The rain is coming down harder now and my body is shivering from the cold. “Come here, Henry,” I hear him call out to the dog. I’m tempted to scream at him for calling him the wrong name, but instead, I take advantage of his voice echoing and making enough noise for me to find a better hiding spot. There’s a large green bush that separates his yard from the neighbors that’ll hide me completely if he decides to walk this way. I don’t have much time to overthink it because he shifts his eyes in my direction.
Herman starts growling as the man approaches him, distracting him away from looking for me. I slowly crawl behind the bush just enough where I can still see them between the leaves. There are other trees surrounding the area, so luckily there are no streetlights shining where I’m hunched over. “So, you think you can steal my dog, do you?” he says, knowing I can hear him. “What were to happen if say...there was no more dog for you to steal?” What? No! I hear him cock his rifle and when I look closer, I can see he’s aiming it right in Herman’s face. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and my breathing becomes staggered. He shifts the gun and positions it so it’s lined up right at Herman. I can’t tell if he’s bluffing or not, because if he’s not, I’m going to be the reason Herman dies. “Ready?” His voice is light, almost as if he’s finding amusement in his little game. “Three...two...” “No!” I scream and quickly cover my mouth. But it’s too late. The gun fires off.
CHAPTER SEVEN LOGAN Luckily, there’s hardly any traffic at this time of night, but the downpour isn’t helping me get there any faster. Kayla’s voice sounded strained as if she was in trouble, and as soon as I heard it, my heart raced with panic. Is she hurt? Is she safe? Will I make it in time? All questions swirling around in my mind causing me to panic before I even know what’s going on. Turning onto Spencer Ave, I see her car and do as she said and park behind her. Once I turn off the engine and look around, I realize it’s nearly impossible to see anything with the dimmed street lights and rain. I get out of the car and struggle to keep my head down and out of the rain as I scan the area searching for her. The streetlights are no help, so I follow her directions and find the Oak tree across the street. Right as I’m about to text her, I hear a dog howling about fifty feet away. Squinting, I can see a silhouette in the distance and jog toward it. “Kayla?” I shout, getting closer and now seeing two silhouettes. Who the hell is she with? “Logan!” she shouts. “He tried to kill Herman!” “What? Who?” Before she can respond, the scene I walk into answers it for me. An old man is pointing a rifle right in Kayla’s face. “What the fuck?” I approach slowly, trying to gauge the man’s moves. “Put your weapon down, sir. I’m with the Sacramento PD,” I say firmly, but as calm as possible. “She’s a trespasser,” he states. “And a thief.” “Okay, hand me your weapon and we can talk this out,” I tell him, holding my hand out so I can slowly attempt to grab it from him. “Hand it over slowly.” “He tried to shoot Herman!” Kayla screams. I still don’t know who Herman is, but when I look behind the guy, I see a dog tied up. Motherfucker.
“Sir, I’m going to need you to back away from the woman and the dog and surrender your weapon.” “Fuck you,” he spits back, his body shifting and now pointing the gun at me. I can see the rage in his eyes as his entire body tenses. “Good. Point the gun at me. Not at her,” I say calmly, motioning to Kayla with my facial expressions to get the fuck out of here. I widen my eyes and tilt my head to the side, but she ignores me. Instead, she runs to the dog and kneels beside him. Goddammit. “Now lower your gun,” I demand. “Let’s walk away without anyone getting hurt, okay?” I reach my hand out farther and the old man takes a step back, straightening his gun. “Don’t come any closer, pig.” My jaw tightens at the realization that this guy is completely unhinged. I keep one eye on Kayla, hoping she’ll take advantage and escape, but knowing her, she won’t without Herman. “Kayla,” I mutter between tense lips. “Get out of here and call 9-1-1.” “I need to untangle him first,” she says over her shoulder. I can tell the old man’s patience is running out. “Kayla,” I repeat, low and firm. “Go. Now.” “I’m not leaving without Herman!” she cries out stubbornly. The rain has us all drenched, and even if I wanted to attempt grabbing the gun from the old man’s hands, the risk of slipping in the process is too high. “I’ll make sure Herman is okay,” I promise her, hoping it comforts her enough to finally get herself out of here. “You ain’t taking my damn dog anywhere,” the old man hisses, turning his body toward Kayla. The gun is no longer in my face and with only a second to react, I leap for it. My fingers slip on the barrel, and I lose my grip. It gives him time to steady himself and secure the gun in his hands. Everything happens in a blur. So fast, yet in slow motion. Kayla’s screaming, Herman’s barking, the old man is cussing. The metallic sound of the gun going off startles all three of us. The deafening sound has my ears ringing almost immediately. Realizing what just happened, I quickly drop to my knees and wrap my arms around the old man’s legs. In one smooth motion, I pull him down until he loses his balance and falls to the ground. I reach for his gun and throw it out of his reach. Before he can regain his footing, I flip him over onto his stomach and secure his arms behind his back. I dig my knee into his lower back to keep him down.
“Oh my God! Are you okay?” Kayla asks, frantic from the ground where she’s kneeling by Herman. “I’m fine.” I try to sound calmly. “It fired behind me.” Kayla works at untangling the dog, but between her shaky hands and the rain slowing her down, she struggles with the leash. “Just take off his collar,” I tell her. I know she’s scared, but I need her to get out of here. “Get him in your car and go home. I’ll meet you there.” “What about you?” she asks, finally freeing Herman. “I’ll meet you there!” I repeat. “Go!” I watch as she leads Herman to her car and once she’s a good distance away, I release the old man. He doesn’t jump up right away, but I stalk toward his gun anyway. I take the shells out of the chamber, stuff them into my pockets, and toss the rifle on the ground. He looks up at me, but doesn’t react. I walk away without another word and jog toward my car. I’m completely drenched, but I don’t have time to think about it because I need to get to Kayla’s house and find out what the hell she was thinking. I’ve been to Kayla’s house before for a Christmas in July ugly sweater party she’s hosted before, but never alone. I knock on the door, and after a minute when she doesn’t answer, I let myself in and find Herman laying on a blanket in her living room. There’s a towel on the floor next to him that looks to have been used to dry him off. He looks to be fine, but I can tell he’s scared by the way his ears pull back. “It’s okay, buddy. You’re safe now,” I tell him, petting him slowly. Standing up, I scan the rest of the house for Kayla, but I can only assume she’s drying off and changing. “Kayla?” I shout out. Three dogs come barking and charging at me before I can stop them from going for Herman. He buries his head behind my legs and the dogs continue growling and sniffing both of us. “Kayla?” I shout again, louder this time. “Sorry! Coming!” She storms in with a small towel in her hand and her hair pulled down. She must’ve been drying it because it’s not nearly as drenched as it was before. “Adam! Phillip! Kristoff!” She snaps her fingers, grabbing their attention and directing them out of the room. She follows behind and I hear a door click before she walks back out. “Sorry,” she says and it’s when I finally notice she’s no longer wearing her dark hoodie. She’s in a pair of short basketball shorts and a white tank top.
“Their bark is much bigger than their bite. They’re protective is all. They’ll warm up to you eventually.” I don’t mean to, but my eyes lower down her body and it’s not hard to notice she’s not wearing a bra. In fact, her white top is see-through from the rain leaking through her hoodie. Blinking, I direct my eyes back up to her face and purse my lips. When I don’t speak, she takes a step closer. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” The concern is evident in her tone, but the realization that she’s the one that could’ve been hurt hits me. “Kayla...” I begin, stepping toward her and closing the gap between us. She looks up at me with wide brown eyes and it takes everything inside me to not rub my fingers along her cheek. “What the hell were you thinking?” “What?” she asks, taken aback. “I can explain everything. It’s not what he made it sound to be. I wasn’t stealing him, well...” She pauses, fidgeting with her fingers. “Technically, I was, but I had a legit reason for it.” My blood is boiling at thinking about what could’ve happened if I hadn’t made it there when I did. My heart hasn’t stopped racing since the moment I got her phone call. “I don’t care what your reason is, Kayla. Do you know how stupid that was? Do you know how much trouble you could’ve been in had I not shown up when I did?” I ask, my voice rising. “Have you lost your freaking mind?” “Okay, yes, I know!” she shouts back. “But I couldn’t just leave Herman there to die! Every time I walk pass that house and he’s tied up, he has no food or water, no room to run, and he’s always tangled up. I warned the owner and—” “You what?” I interrupt, my brows shooting up. “I-I knocked on his door and said that if he couldn’t take care of his dog, I’d find him a home.” Frustrated, I brush my hand through my hair and mutter curse words. “Christ, Kayla.” “What?” she shoots back defensively. “He was neglecting him! It’s eighty plus degrees out and he’s laying out in the beating sun with no water. What would you expect me to do?” “Why didn’t you just call the cops? Or tell me? Or hell, what about Drew? You had alternate options, Kayla!” “Okay, I know!” She throws her arms up. “But in the moment of seeing him once again tied up, tangled and scared, I snapped. He could’ve choked himself on that short leash or starved to death, and I wasn’t about to just walk away and wait for the proper authority to arrive. Dog rescuing isn’t exactly at the top of their lists,” she spits out.
My jaw ticks, pissed that the old man would do that to an innocent dog and pissed that Kayla went about this all wrong. I know she’s passionate about animals, especially dogs, but the fear I felt when I saw the owner point his rifle in her face is unparalleled. “He could’ve shot you. He could’ve killed you. He could’ve shot and killed you and no one would’ve ever known,” I ramble, my mind going wild with the possibilities. The thoughts run through my mind and it’s not until she grabs my hand and presses it against her chest that I realize I’m pacing back and forth. “Logan,” she says softly. “I’m sorry. It was dumb and impulsive and you’re completely right about everything. I should’ve called for help first. I thought I could just sneak into his yard and take Herman without being noticed. I didn’t think about the consequences or the man coming out with a gun, obviously.” Her words comfort me some, knowing that she was just trying to help the dog, but I’m still worked up. The way her heart is beating against my palm sets my body on fire, and I hope she doesn’t notice the way my body is reacting to hers. “I can’t even begin to imagine what could’ve happened if you didn’t call me,” I tell her, my voice breaking with each word. Now that we’re out of that situation and I really have time to process it all, I’m overcome with fear and anxiety. “I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve thought it through.” She surprises me when she wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me against her chest. I wrap my arms around her and tighten my grip. Feeling her against me feels much better than it should. I feel her body shiver and the fast beating of her heart against my chest. I know how she feels for me, but I can’t cross that line with her again. Needing to break the obvious tension between us, I loosen my grip and wait for her to do the same. “Perhaps tonight was a bad time to wear white,” I tease, pointing my eyes down to her chest. Her eyes follow, dropping them to where her nipples are hard and evident through the thin fabric. Her eyes widen and she quickly covers up her chest. A smile plays on my lips at the way she acts embarrassed. “Apparently, I’m just full of bad choices tonight,” she mutters, mostly to herself, but blushes when she catches me watching her. “Well, sometimes you have to make the bad choices to figure out what the right choices are,” I tell her, the seriousness in my tone letting her know I can’t stay mad at her, even if she nearly got us killed. Ever since meeting Kayla, she’s been a good friend to everyone that’s lucky enough to know her. She volunteers,
does good deeds, is passionate about helping others, and sometimes I wonder if she’s too good to be true. Of course, she is. She’s Kayla Sinclair. Gorgeous goddess with the biggest heart there is. I’m losing myself in my thoughts as I stare into her eyes. My hand brushes along her cheek and cups her face. She looks up at me, her big brown eyes beaming into mine, and I lose all train of thought. I’m completely mesmerized by her. She leans her body into mine and without realizing it, I take a step closer to her and bow my head down. She tilts her head up and I slowly bring my lips toward hers. She smells amazing and looks gorgeous, drenched and all. Our lips are so close, I can feel her breath against my skin. I remember the way her lips felt pressed to mine last time and it overcomes all my willpower to pull away. Her eyes close and in a moment of weakness, I lean even closer toward her. My top lip barely brushes hers when a loud bang pulls us apart. “Oh my God.” She jumps, startled. She looks around and sees Herman sniffing around the lamp he just knocked over. It takes me a second to collect my thoughts. I don’t move or say anything, because anything I say right now will hurt her. She turns back toward me, our bodies still close, lips nearly touching again, and before she can take another step closer, I exhale and take a step back. “I’m sorry, Kayla. I can’t.” I close my eyes briefly, not wanting to see the disappointment on her face. “Why?” she asks, so softly, I almost don’t hear her. “Why won’t you give us a chance?” I open my eyes and see the pain in her features. I wish I could explain. I wish I could tell her, but I know if I do, she’ll try to convince me it won’t bother her. But I know better. “I’m not the right guy for you, Kayla. I can’t be what you need,” I tell her sincerely, although saying the words aloud rips me apart. “What does that even mean?” I can hear the anger in her tone. “You’re such a good person. You deserve someone just as amazing and without a complicated history. I can’t offer you that.” She lowers her eyes and bites down on her lower lip for a moment. She’s soaking the words in and I can tell she’s not happy with my explanation. “Is this about Skylar?” she asks, looking back up at me. “How do you know about Skylar?” My jaw ticks. I haven’t told anyone about her except Drew when we were partners “I just do.” She shrugs, but I know there’s more to the story. “So, is that the reason? You think because you’re a single dad, you aren’t good enough for me?”
I know she’s trying to be sensitive, but it’s not that simple. “You don’t know anything about her or my past and it’s best it stays that way, Kayla,” I say firmly. “Why won’t you tell me then? What are you afraid of?” She studies me and I know she’s trying to figure me out. “This is exactly why we can’t get involved. I don’t share my past with anyone. Skylar is my number one priority. I’d be an awful person to be with and like I said, you deserve so much better than that.” She blinks and licks her lips. She’s nervous. “Don’t you think I should be the one to decide that? Whether I deserve better or who I decide is good enough for me?” “Of course, but that’s not the point.” “Then what is your point?” Falling in love with Kayla Sinclair would be reckless. Allowing her to fall for me would be dangerous. “Just trust me, okay? It’s not the right time for me to date anyone, and if we were to get involved, I’d just fuck it up and everything would be ruined.” “I wish you could see what I see.” She places the palm of her hand against my chest, my heart beating rapidly. “You have a kind heart. You’re a protector. You’re always here when I need you. Whether you see it or not, you’re a good soul, Logan Knight.”
KAYLA It takes all the strength inside me to keep my emotions at bay. Tears are threatening to pour down my cheeks, and my body is trembling with anxiety at the way Logan continues to push the idea of us away. I know he’s fighting his feelings for me. I can see it in the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he tenses anytime our bodies are close. He’s scared, I can see that; I just wish he’d trust me enough to confide in me and let me be there for him. We pull away, and I know the conversation is over. He’s said what he needed to say and so have I. If and when there ever is a right time for us, I can only hope he’ll be open enough to tell me. Every time I decide I need to get over him and move on, his charm and sweetness suck me back in without him even trying. I’ve locked my three dogs in my bedroom to give Herman some space. I can’t imagine he’s used to being around other dogs since he was always tied up all day long. My dogs can be a bit territorial and overwhelming. I’ve set the food
and water dishes out for him but he has yet to go over by them. I lay out an extra dog bed, but he only sniffs it and sits next to it rather than on it. “Do you think I should take him to a vet?” I sit down next to Herman and pet him softly. His fur is filthy and mangled up with dirt. It’s obvious he didn’t get regular baths or even brushed. “I doubt he’s had any shots or deworming treatments.” “It probably couldn’t hurt,” he says, taking a seat on the couch and keeping his distance. “Do you plan on taking him to the shelter? Wouldn’t they have a vet on staff?” “They do, but I’m afraid what will happen if I take him there. He’s not a young pup and there’s already so many dogs waiting for a forever home.” I rub his ears, wishing I could take him in myself. “You think they’d euthanize him if he doesn’t get adopted?” The concern in his tone is evident, and I wonder if I’ll be able to find him a home in time. “Only if a dog is really sick or bites a person.” I cringe just thinking about it. “So that’s why you’re so passionate about volunteering there, isn’t it?” I smile, nodding. “Yes. I want to find them all homes before it ever has to resort to the extreme. Problem is, there aren’t enough volunteers, not enough donations, not enough resources, and not enough homes willing to adopt. People want purebreds and puppies.” “Sounds like you’re doing all that you can though.” “It doesn’t always feel that way.” I frown. “I know a thing or two about what it feels like to not have a place to call home.” “What do you mean?” I swallow down the insecurity I feel whenever I talk about my past. Even though Logan is fighting his own battles and we’re nothing more than friends, I can’t help but feel safe whenever I’m around him. He makes it feel safe to talk about. “I grew up in foster homes for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember my mom or dad. I don’t know if I have any biological siblings. I don’t know my grandparents or aunts or uncles. I was juggled from foster home to foster home and I never really felt like I had a home,” I admit, feeling a sense of relief as I say the words aloud. I don’t talk about my past, mostly because I hate the look people give me. The exact look Logan is giving me right now. Pity. “Wow. I had no idea.” I can tell he doesn’t know what to say. Another reason why I don’t talk about it. It usually makes people uncomfortable. “I haven’t talked about it in years. Not even to Courtney and Viola,” I confess, feeling a bit guilty about not sharing it with two of my closest friends.
“Really?” He arches a brow. I shrug. “It’s just easier to pretend it never happened.” At least that’s how I prefer it. “How many homes were you in?” he asks, watching me intently. I suck in my lower lip, feeling ashamed, even though I know I don’t have anything to be ashamed for. I just know once people realize how fucked up my past is, it changes how they see me. “Sixteen total.” “Oh my God.” His voice rises an octave. “Why the hell did they move you around so much?” I shrug, pretending it didn’t bother me. “Let’s just say the system is less than perfect. Homes that were eligible at first became no longer eligible once drugs and abuse were apparent. Some families got pregnant and no longer had room for a foster kid. Some just didn’t want to anymore. Some died.” “Died?” He gasps and then inhales a deep breath. “Drugs, abuse, and death,” he says it like a mantra. “So fucked up.” I nod in agreement. Living it was even more fucked up. “I never had emotional attachments to anyone. I learned not to at a young age. Foster kids were coming and going. Just long enough to form a bond and then one of us would have to leave. The first time I allowed myself to get emotionally attached to anything was to a dog named Bruno. He was a male Border Collie. The sweetest dog ever. My foster family was horrible. I was the only one who remembered to feed and water him. They treated him like trash and when my social worker came for a surprise visit, I pretended everything was just fine so she wouldn’t transfer me again. I knew that if I left, Bruno would end up dead.” “So, you stayed in a bad situation for his sake?” “Yeah, I did. I couldn’t just leave him.” I shrug, knowing I would still make the same decision all over again. “He was the reason I survived that place as long as I did. He’d sleep in my bed with me and I’d just pet him until we both fell asleep. I talked to him all the time since no one else cared to listen and believe it or not, dogs are great listeners.” I smile. “We only had each other when no one else cared and it was something really special. It was the first time in my life where I felt like I could survive this. I would come out on top and be a better person for it.” I exhaled, all those feelings from years ago resurfacing. “Sounds corny, right?” My cheeks heat up at the intent way he’s looking at me. “No. Sounds brave actually. You’re an inspiring person, Kayla.” His voice is low but steady, and I know he’s being one-hundred percent genuine as he looks me in the eyes.
I lower my eyes and shake my head. “I just did what I had to do to survive.” Shrugging, I look back up at him and see the sadness in his features. “I could’ve used an advocate while I was growing up to ensure the best possible lifestyle for me, but it’s not always the case. Same with animals. They need someone to look out for them, and I like being that someone for them. It gives me a purpose when I never felt like I had any as a child.” He flashes a small smile and I watch as his tongue slides over his bottom lip as if he’s holding back something he wants to say. “I like that. Really says a lot about who you are deep inside. I see a lot of kids that don’t come out of the system as adjusted and smart as you. You’re the exception.” I wish that were enough for him to see that we could work if he’d only give us a chance, but just like before, he shuts that part of his heart down. I stand up and grab the food and water dishes. I set them closer to Herman to encourage him, but he doesn’t budge. Either he’s used to scrap food or doesn’t have enough energy to even try and eat. I kneel next to him and pet him slowly. I’m getting more and more concerned as he lays next to me and I watch as his breathing rapidly increases. “I think something’s wrong,” I say, pressing my hand to his chest. “His heart is beating really fast and I’m worried he could be dehydrated.” Logan bounces off the couch and kneels by Herman and me. He places a hand on his body and feels the slow rhythmic movements of his breaths. “It’s possible,” he says, concerned. “We need to get him to drink something.” “I brought the dish closer to him but he doesn’t seem to have any interest.” I rub around his belly and feel how swollen it is. “What about calling an emergency animal clinic? They have a couple around here, I think,” he says, which then reminds me of Christian. His clinic isn’t open twenty-four hours, but he did say I could call him. I’m not sure I want our first phone conversation to be about a dog I stole and then explaining all that to him. Not to mention, he’ll probably think I’m insane for waking him up at midnight because of said stolen dog is not drinking. Just as thoughts of Christian and his perfect smile invade my mind, Herman sits up and his upper body jerks. Before I can move, he throws up all over the dog bed I placed out here for him. “Shit,” I blurt out. “Are you okay, Herman?” I rub his back and speak in soft tones. “Vomiting is a symptom of dehydration. I think I might know someone I can call.” Even though calling him this late at night is going to be awkward and uncomfortable, I know letting Herman suffer is not an option.
First impressions be damned. It’s obvious Logan is confused as soon as I hang up the phone with Christian. He narrows his eyes at me as he listened to me ramble on like a complete airhead. I’m sure I sounded like a crazy dog lady, but I had no idea if he’d remember me so I had to remind him I was the one who walked right into his groin and got our dog leashes tangled up. I probably could’ve worded that better. Either way, Christian got the gist of the story and told me he’d meet us there right away. Luckily, it’s not a far drive because it’s still raining outside, and I don’t need to have a repeat of the wet t-shirt contest. Logan offers to drive us there and I take him up on it so I can lay in the back with Herman. My concern increases when he vomits once more in the vet parking lot. “Poor baby.” I try consoling him. “Let’s go get you checked out and get you feeling better, okay?” Christian greets us at the door and smiles as we walk through the door. “This is my friend, Logan,” I introduce. “Logan, this is Dr. Wyatt. The vet.” They give a firm nod at each other and I can tell they’re sizing each other up. If this wasn’t an emergency, I’d be secretly hoping for a wrestling match of some sort. “Thank you again for seeing us so late. I didn’t know what else to do,” I say as he leads us into an exam room. “Not a problem at all.” He takes the leash from me and leads Herman to a scale. “The pups and I were just watching a documentary on the history channel,” he tells me, and I notice Logan rolling his eyes behind him. I narrow my eyes at Logan, letting him know I saw that. He stands tall with his arms crossed over his chest and legs parted as if he’s supervising the scene. Logan’s guarded by nature, especially being in the profession he’s in, but if I’m reading his body language correctly, I’d say he’s a little intimidated by Christian. Not that I could really blame him. Christian is one of those hot doctor clichés that you only see on Instagram with a six-pack of abs and perfect smile to boot. He’d be the cover model for Vet Weekly, if there were such a thing. He has kind, blue eyes that remind me of the summer skies and although this is only our second time meeting, it’s easy to tell he’s a kind and genuine person. And bonus —he’s an animal lover. Once he finally gets Herman to cooperate and stand on the scale to get his weight, he starts checking him over. “Oh okay, good.” I flash him an over-the-top smile knowing Logan will be watching our interaction. I’m tempted to text Courtney and update her on all the
news, but she’ll reply with a thousand questions, and it’d just be easier to tell her over the phone or in person. “I’m going to take him into the procedure room and hook him up to an IV to get some fluids back in his system. His heart rate is staggered, which is most likely from being dehydrated. I’ll give him some vaccinations and deworm him right away, too, since you said he most likely hasn’t been.” “Great. Thank you, Dr. Wyatt.” “Please, call me Christian. Dr. Wyatt makes me think of my father.” He smiles and winks at me before grabbing Herman’s leash and walking him out of the room. Once Logan and I are left alone, the air is thick with tension. I’m not sure what to say considering the heavy conversation we had earlier, but he’s made it clear as day that we’re just friends so why is he acting like a jealous boyfriend? “So how do you know this guy?” Logan breaks the silence finally. He’s looking at me like an overprotective father. “I don’t really. We met the other day when I was walking the dogs. Our leashes got tangled up and that’s really it.” I shrug like it’s no big deal. “How’d that end up with him giving you his phone number?” His stance stays tense, his body language saying one thing but his words from earlier saying another. “What’s with the third degree? We met. We talked about our love of animals. It was brought up he was a vet, and I volunteered at the shelter and he gave me his card. What’s the big deal?” Before he can respond, Christian returns with Herman and already he’s looking so much better. “Hey boy,” I coo softly and kneel to pet him. “You feeling better?” “He did great,” Christian tells me, kneeling beside me and petting Herman. “He started drinking water on his own and took a few bites of food. I think he’ll start to regain his strength within a week or so, but keep an eye on him. I’ll have you come back in for a follow-up appointment, but if he throws up again or stops eating, call me right away.” “I will. Thank you again.” I smile, taking the leash from him. “I’ll call in the morning to make that appointment.” Logan follows me out with Herman and helps him get settled into the car. He’s not talking or looking at me, and I have a feeling he’s more upset about the Christian thing than he’s letting on. As I buckle myself in, I glance over at him and see his jaw is tense and he’s keeping a straight face. Anger starts to burn through my blood because he has absolutely no reason to be upset with me about meeting Christian. Being upset about stealing the dog in the first place I can
understand, but after telling me he’s not in a place to date and that I deserve better, his reaction doesn’t justify his actions and that pisses me off. The last thing I want to do is fight with him, but I don’t deserve the cold shoulder he’s giving me. We don’t speak the entire car ride back home and even once parked in my driveway, he doesn’t look in my direction as he helps get Herman out of the car. “I can take it from here,” I bite out, snatching Herman’s leash from his fingers. “Thanks again for helping.” I take two steps toward my front door before Logan grabs my other hand and spins me around. “What’s your deal?” “My deal?” He parts his lips, runs his tongue over them, and then closes his mouth. “You’re the most confusing human I know. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me? Am I right?” I blurt out without thinking. “You’re mad Christian gave me his card and that I called him tonight.” “Yes, I mean, no. I’m not mad. I...” “Then what?” He inhales a deep breath, and I know he’s at a loss for words. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Let’s get Herman back inside.” I unlock the door and step inside. There are so many words I want to say but I decide to drop it because I’m way too tired and emotionally exhausted from this entire day. But now I’m not so sure we’ll ever be able to get back to being friends.
CHAPTER EIGHT LOGAN Seeing the defeated expression on Kayla’s face as she sits down next to me and Herman on the couch makes me realize the extra stress she’s now under. I know I probably added to that and seeing the way it’s affecting her, I feel like even more of a jackass than before. “Kayla...” I begin, but the words get stuck in my throat. She looks up at me, her eyes pleading to say the words I know she wants me to say, but no matter how much I want to tell her I have feelings for her, I can’t allow myself. It’s not just Skylar or my messy past with Maggie that’s stopping me, but something so much bigger than I can even explain. “I’m truly sorry for the way I acted. You’ve had a stressful night as it is and didn’t deserve me adding to it,” I genuinely tell her, hoping we can move past the elephant in the room. “Thanks, Logan. It’s okay. I put you in a really difficult situation tonight with Herman and that guy, so I should be the one apologizing to you. Again.” She raises her lashes and flashes a small smile. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you called when you did. I still can’t believe he came out with a freaking shotgun.” I shake my head at the image. “Yeah, who knew an animal neglector would own a gun?” she teases, then her smile drops. “I shouldn’t joke. It was one of the most terrifying things I’ve experienced. Though, you’ve probably been in dozens of terrifying situations before.” I know it’s not what she wants to hear, but I say it anyway. “I have. In the military and while on police duty.” I swallow, contemplating on continuing. “But seeing that gun pointed at you tonight...I’ve never been more scared in my entire life,” I tell her honestly, and I can feel the raw emotion building up inside me. We stare at one another, both of us unsure of what to say and now I know I’ve taken her off guard. Finally, she breaks the tension. “Will you stay tonight?” she blurts out, her cheeks blushing instantly. “On the couch. With Herman,” she clarifies. Blinking, she gathers her thoughts and starts over. “My dogs sleep with me in my room,
and I don’t know how they’ll react with a strange dog in there with them. I don’t want to leave Herman alone though.” “Sure, that’s no problem. Herman and I will have a good man-to-man talk.” I smirk. She smiles and laughs. “Thanks. I’m too tired to even think, so I’m going to head in with the three amigos.” She pets Herman one last time before standing up. “Wake me though if he throws up again or is acting weird, okay?” “I will.” “I’ll go grab you some blankets and a pillow.” She walks off down a hallway and returns moments later with a large comforter and feather pillow. “Fancy,” I mock. “La casa de Kayla is always fancy.” She winks. “Perks of the job, I suppose.” She shrugs when I laugh. “Need anything else?” she asks, looking around. I can’t sleep in pants, so I’m going to need her to leave so I can get comfortable on the couch. “Nope. All good. Herman and I will be just fine,” I reassure her. “Okay. Well, goodnight.” She surprises me by wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling us together. “Thank you again, Logan.” I carefully wrap my arms around her and enjoy the way she clings to me. “Anything for you, Kayla. Goodnight.” We pull away, and I can tell she has something on her mind, but whatever it is, she decides not to say it. I watch as she walks back down the hall and wait until I hear the door close before I undress down to my boxers and get comfortable on the couch with Herman. “Just you and me big guy,” I say, petting his head. Sleeping in a new place worries me some, mostly because I don’t want to have any nightmare outbursts and scare the shit out of Herman or Kayla. I don’t have much time to worry about it though because it doesn’t take much for me to fall asleep, especially after the day I’ve had. Morning arrives much too soon and I’m woken up with two dog tongues in my face. “Adam! Philip! Get over here!” I hear Kayla hiss-whisper. “Do not wake him up!” “Too late. I’m up,” I say aloud, peeking one eye open and seeing Kayla looking disoriented. She couldn’t have had more than four hours of sleep at this hour. “Shit, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep. I’m just taking them for their morning walk.”
“Do you want help? You must be exhausted.” I shift my body and sit upright on the couch quickly to cover myself up with the blanket once I realize I’m still in only my boxers. “No, it’s fine. The brisk air will wake me up,” she mocks. “I’ll bring you back a donut from Donny’s!” She’s getting pulled toward the door from the dogs eager to go out. It amazes me she handles them as well as she does. For a petite girl, she sure has some strong arms. I realize there’s something on her head and without thinking I get up and rush toward her. “Kayla, wait!” She spins around just as I merge with her chest. “What is it?” She looks up at me, confused at our proximity and probably my lack of clothing. She slowly lowers her eyes and sharply inhales. I don’t answer her right away and wait until her eyes meet mine again. “I think you forgot something,” I tell her, reaching for her sleeping mask that’s propped up on her forehead. I take my time, letting my fingers brush along the softness of her skin and watch as her body stills from my touch. I chuckle as I finally slide it over her head and hold it in my palm. “Donuts, huh?” “Oh my God,” she groans, taking it from my hand. “I swear my neighbors think I’m crazy enough.” “I think it’s cute. Donuts suit you.” “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” she questions, ignoring the way her dogs pull against their collars. “Sweet like sugar but a bit flaky.” I smirk. She smacks my bare chest and her eyes widen as she registers I’m still standing in front of her without most of my clothes. “I am not flaky! You’re supposed to say sweet and delicious, or something.” “Sweet and delicious and flaky,” I tease. She smiles as she rolls her eyes at me. “Well thanks for saving me from embarrassment. I’ll be back in fifteen with your flaky donut.” “Now is that any way to talk about yourself?” I arch a brow, waiting for her verbal slap. Instead, she heads out the door and flips me the bird over her shoulder and laughs. I watch as she flawlessly handles the dogs and wait until they get out of view before I head back to the couch where my clothes and Herman are still put. After getting dressed and cleaned up, I take Herman to the backyard. It’s not huge, which explains why Kayla walks all the dogs every morning, but anything other than being tied to a picnic table will make Herman happy. “That’s a good boy,” I praise as he strolls back to me. “Let’s see if you’ll eat now.”
We head back in and I refill his water dish with fresh, cold water. I set his dishes down in the kitchen so I can watch him while I make Kayla a real breakfast.
KAYLA The boys and I happily walk into Donny’s and he already has our treat bags set out for us. “You treat us too good, Don.” I smile, reaching for the bags. “You might need to start giving me the mini donuts from now on.” “Why’s that?” “I’m worried what it’s going to do in this area—” I make a circle with my hand near my stomach. “Right here.” “You’re crazy. You’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are.” “Aw, Donny. Why aren’t you like thirty years younger?” “You will find him. Don’t you worry.” He winks. I have found him. At least I’m pretty sure I have. Too bad he doesn’t feel the same. As we walk back toward the house, I hear my phone go off with a text message. I instantly smile when I see it’s from Courtney. Apparently, she’s finally come up for air. C: Remember a few weeks ago when we were talking about Tyler and how he just didn’t do it for you in the bedroom? Something about you preferring really rough sex? Jesus Christ. She sure sugarcoats shit. K: Uh...what about it? C: I think you’ve been on the wrong online dating site. I found a better one that’ll suit you. K: Oh God. I don’t trust you. C: www.kinkysingles.com TRUUUUUUST ME. Sometimes I really regret telling her things that’ll come back to bite me in the ass. I remember that conversation clear as day too. Viola, Court, and I were
having a girls’ day, getting our nails done for Court’s wedding when they asked for details on why I broke up with Tyler. Truth is, Tyler and I didn’t connect in the bedroom. I have certain tastes and we just didn’t click, but I never assumed Courtney would be prowling kinky dating sites for me. K: Are you serious? I am NOT going to find a guy on a site called Kinky Singles! C: Kay, you obviously need some good dick. Tiny Tyler couldn’t get the job done. Why not indulge in some good meaty goodness? K: It is seriously way too early for this conversation. In other news: Logan slept on my couch last night. I hit send with a smile, knowing that’ll give her enough to chew on for a while. C: WHAT! Why am I just hearing about this now? K: Relax! It’s a long story. He helped me out with a dog I rescued, which is why he slept over. My dogs were going nuts with a new dog in the house. C: Speaking of nuts... K: Shut. Up. C: LOL! C’mon! Give me something here. I’m desperate. K: Don’t you have your own All-You-Can-Eat Dick Buffet at home? C: Aunt Flo is in town :( And I’m not wasting his baby gravy by swallowing it down. K: *Gag* Seriously, spare me the details please. I want to be able to look Drew in the eyes again. C: Btw: he has a great O face. K: This conversation just escalated WAY too far. I’m nearly in tears laughing by the time the dogs and I walk back into the house. I immediately smell food cooking from the kitchen and head there as
soon as I lock the dogs back up in my bedroom. “Are you cooking?” I ask, walking in from behind him. His back is to me as he works the stove like a pro. “I figured you could use a good breakfast for once.” “Smells delicious.” I set the bag of donuts on the counter. The dogs ate theirs before we even left Donny’s. “I don’t usually have time to cook anything.” “You should always start your day off with a hearty breakfast.” He finally turns and I see the dimples in his cheeks as he smiles wide at me. “Plus, I figured it’d be rude to make myself something and not offer anything to you.” He winks. “Should’ve known there was an ulterior motive.” Plates are already set on the counter and I watch as he serves us equally. Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and fruit. It’s probably the most food my kitchen has seen in months. “It’s amazing,” I say between bites. “I love that you added extra cheese on top.” “Oh, it’s a must. My dad used to put hot sauce on his,” he tells me, but as soon as the words slip out, his face drops as if he hadn’t meant to admit that. “The only time my foster parents made any kind of gourmet breakfast was on holiday mornings. Even though I was shuffled around, it was something they all had in common. Just for a day, they pretended to be a family that had their shit together and loved each other.” I deflect the conversation as best I can knowing he’s obviously uncomfortable talking about his past. “At least you had solids,” he mocks. “My dad was strict about my diet growing up, especially in high school when I really got into sports. Protein shakes and smoothies were all I had for years.” I chuckle lightly, agreeing with him. I wish he knew he could open up to me, tell me all his secrets and about the things he’s lived through and seen. I know he’s experienced a lot more than I have, but everyone needs a person they can talk to. However, I get the feeling Logan doesn’t talk to anyone about what he went through and just from getting to know him these past couple years, I can tell he doesn’t let himself think about it often either. He closes up anytime his past is brought up and avoids the subject. “Christmas is my favorite holiday,” I blurt out. “It was the one day a year I could count on. That’s why I make such an effort to celebrate it.” “Is that why you have a Christmas in July party?” “Christmas in July Ugly Sweater Party,” I correct with a grin. “And yes. I never knew where I’d be for which holiday and what traditions they’d have that I’d maybe be a part of, but one thing was always for certain—they all watched Christmas movies. Christmas was never about the gifts for me, mostly because I
learned at a really young age foster kids didn’t get many presents, so I learned to get excited about other things. Christmas traditions such as movies, parties, baking, or the Christmas musical at school. It’s the only positive memories I have from my childhood, so I like holding onto them as much as I can. They’re all I have.” Logan studies me, his features not giving much away. He lowers his eyes briefly before looking back up at me. “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” “I have a lot of favorites, but if I had to pick my top favorite, it’s definitely National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” “Really? Why that one?” “Because it’s not the perfect Christmas that every other movie tries to portray. The family is completely dysfunctional in a funny, but realistic way. It always made me smile and laugh and even though it was a disaster of a time for their family it always gave me hope. Hope that one day I would have Christmas traditions with my own family. My own tree. Dinner on the table. Family from out of town coming to see me.” I shrug, losing myself in my thoughts. “It was the only time of year I ever felt hope and happiness, and I guess I just always wanted to bottle that up for as long as I could.” “I can understand that,” he says, collecting our plates and placing them in the sink. “We all want to have that sense of belonging and family.” “I don’t know any of my blood relatives, but I do know that the friends I do have, are always going to be more than family to me. They stuck around because they wanted to, not because they felt obligated to.” “That’s a beautiful way of thinking. See? You’re always so insightful and full of good vibes.” I snort, leaning against the counter and yawning. “I have to work at it. Some days more than others.” Herman nudges my leg, reminding me we’re not alone. “What’s the matter, boy?” I pet his head and smile when I see his tail is wagging. “Oh, that reminds me.” I lift my head up and make eye contact with Logan. Biting my lower lip, I contemplate on asking him what I need to, but I should if I’m going to find him a home. He cocks a brow, narrowing his eyes at me. “What’s that look?” “I need to ask you something.” I hesitate. “I hate asking, because I know you’re busy enough, but it would only be temporary. I’d also come on my lunch breaks and after work so you wouldn’t feel obligated to switch anything around.” “Kayla.” He holds a hand up to stop my ramblings. “Spit it out.” “Would you foster Herman for me?” I beg with my hands. “Just for like a week? A month tops.”
“A month?” His eyes widen. “I just don’t want to take him to the shelter if I can find him a home soon. I’d keep him but I’m worried how my dogs will take to him considering everything Herman’s been through and, I’m not sure how he’ll react to them since he wasn’t socialized.” “Okay.” “And I’ll pay for all his food. I’ll come and feed him and walk him, so you won’t even know he’s there. I’ll make sure he has a bed and dishes and toys and —” “Kayla!” he shouts, grabbing my attention. “I already said okay.” He smiles. “Really?” I squeal. “Oh my God! Thank you! You’re seriously a knight in shining armor, you know that?” I round the counter and hug him even though I know we should keep our distance, but I can’t help it. “The last name really suits you.” I smile up at him. “Thank you again.” He smiles briefly as he looks down at me and softly wraps a piece of loose hair behind my ear. My hair is a complete mess anyway, but his single touch immediately sends shivers down my spine and I wonder if he notices the way he affects me when he does that. “Not sure I agree with that, but I’ll do anything for you, Kayla. Don’t forget that.”
CHAPTER NINE LOGAN I wake up to a dog pressed against my back, leaning against me with all his weight. He’s been the only one in this bed since Maggie and I separated, but I’ve slept with no interruptions since I’ve taken him in. Maybe the dreams are gone for good or maybe Herman’s keeping the demons away. Honestly, I might miss the furball when Kayla finds him a permanent home. He’s been a handful with needing to be taken out during my lunch breaks. Not to mention the baths he’s needed after playing in the mud in the backyard, but I can’t complain too much. I knew taking Herman in would make Kayla happy, and she's so busy I wouldn't feel right having her come over and do basic things for him like she offered. Honestly, he keeps me company. Finally, I get up, take Herman outside, and feed him before I make myself breakfast. As I’m standing at the stove scrambling eggs, I pop some bread in the toaster, and the thoughts of Kayla and the Mr. Perfect Vet pop into my mind. Sadly enough, it’s haunted me more than I’d like to admit. The way his hand graced along hers and how she looked back at him with that look in her eyes did something to me. He was obviously flirting and laid it on thick once Kayla said we were just friends. But we are just that—friends—and it’s better that way. I can’t deny I felt a tinge of jealousy, an emotion I’m not used to experiencing, and I’m still slightly confused by that. I scrape the eggs on a plate and sit at the table. Herman comes to my feet, begging, but he knows better. “So, what do you think about Kayla and the vet?” I look down at Herman as I place eggs onto a piece of toast. “You obviously liked him, huh?” He looks guilty and lays his head on the floor. I groan. “You don’t care. I shouldn’t care either. She’s better off with someone else anyway. Someone that doesn’t have baggage the size of Mount Rushmore.” As if he’s tired of listening to me ramble, he strolls into the living room and jumps on the couch. I finish eating, rinse off my plate, and then get dressed for
work. On the way to the station, I think about Skylar and Maggie moving back and how putting Kayla in the middle of all of that wouldn’t be fair to her. There’s so much I want to tell her, yet I keep it inside. I know that makes me stubborn, but it’s what makes the most sense right now. We’re still friends and I’d rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all. Even if it kills me to see her with someone else after telling myself all those things, I know she deserves to be with someone who doesn’t have issues or baggage and can give her everything she needs and deserves. I’m not that man. My phone goes off just as I walk into my office. I pull it out of my pocket and see it’s from Kayla. K: Good morning! How’s Herman today? L: He’s doing fine. I’m going to leave during lunch to take him outside. K: Can I meet you there? I’d like to see him. I hesitate before texting her but I’m not sure why. K: ...or maybe I can come by after work if it’s inconvenient for you. L: No, it’s fine. You can meet me during lunch. I’ll text you before I head that way around 11. K: Great! See you then :) I don’t want to lead her on. I don’t want her to think there is more between us than there is or can be. I make a pact with myself that I don’t intend on breaking. I’m fine with us just being friends and that’s how we’ll stay. The day flies by and before I know it, I’m texting Kayla and letting her know I’m on my way home. As soon as I pull into my driveway, she comes speeding down the road in her mustang. She steps out, wearing red high heels, a tight pencil skirt, and a shirt that hugs her in all the right places. Her hair is down and I watch as she tucks loose strands behind her ear. She’s...gorgeous. I open my mouth to speak and then close it. She doesn’t even notice she stole the words from my lips. “Sorry!” she shouts, walking over to me with purpose in her step. “I thought I would be late.” I laugh. “It’s okay. I just got here.” She looks me up and down and smiles. “All right, Detective. Lead the way.”
I unlock the door and motion for her to come inside. As soon as Kayla steps in, Herman comes running toward her. She bends down to pet him, his tail wagging and whooshing air around the room. “Do you want a treat?” she asks, showing a few treats in her palm. He eats it up and I laugh as I walk to the backdoor and open it. Of course, she would bring him treats. As soon as he hears the creak of the door, he takes off running. I leave the backdoor open until he decides to come in. The least I can do is give him thirty minutes to run around because he’ll be locked up for a few more hours while I’m at work. Granted it’s much better than his previous situation. Kayla is standing in the living room with her arms folded looking around. “So, this is where the magic happens.” I shake my head. “No magic happens here.” She snorts. “Look at this archway and the brick wall in the structure. This house is beautiful and with a little elbow grease and decoration, some paint and pictures on the walls, it would be fabulous. Plus, you’ve got a big corner lot. All you need is some landscaping and you’d have major curb appeal. If you ever wanted to flip this house...” “You should have your own television show, you know that?” I notice the pout in her lip when she smiles and start to realize those little things about her that I shouldn’t. Freckles lightly dusted across her nose, and when she doesn’t quite know what to say, she bites the inside of her cheek. These are just a few things I’ve noticed in the last five minutes. She walks toward me but then stops at a picture of Skylar and me on the accent table. I’m brought back to my reality. Kayla picks up the picture and genuinely smiles when she looks at her. “She’s beautiful, Logan,” she says. My mouth slightly falls open and turns into a smile. “She is. She’s my pride and joy.” Kayla sets the picture back down on the table and we share a small moment, a blink in time. Before I speak, I think of the words that need to be said and then clear my throat. “I’m sorry for not telling you. It’s a complicated situation,” I tell her. “The only one who really knows the full story is Drew, and I’ve asked him to keep it to himself.” “I understand. Sometimes it’s easier to keep our lives to ourselves.” She sits on the couch. I wonder if she’s thinking about her own past that she hadn’t shared with anyone. We’re on the same page and I’m grateful she doesn’t push me to explain why. “I’m fighting for her to move closer to me, but that’s still to be determined.”
Kayla crosses her leg and smiles big. I can almost see her gears turning as she looks around the room. “Then you know what that means, right?” I’m so confused right now, but her excitement makes me smile. “Not entirely.” “That this house needs to be ready for your little girl. You can’t bring her here with it looking like a hospital.” “It’s not that bad, is it?” She gives me the eye, and as I look around, I understand what she’s talking about. Stark white walls with zero personalization, not even a rug on the floor. It’s where I eat and sleep and I’ve never really taken the time to make it a home. It’s where I moved when Maggie and I separated. “Honestly, If I’m being truthful, I don’t know where to start.” “Have you ever heard of a thing called Pinterest?” Kayla lifts an eyebrow and smirks. “Well, I was thinking...” I shake my head. “Never mind.” “What?” She’s so close to me on the couch, I can smell the sweetness of her skin. “I was thinking that I could use the help of Kayla Sinclair?” She laughs. “I am way better than Pinterest.” She’s silent for another moment as if she’s contemplating something and I wait on edge for her to respond. If anyone could make this house more like a home, I know Kayla could. After what she did for Courtney and Drew’s house after they bought it, I have no doubt about it. “I’d be happy to help you,” she finally says. Relief flashes across my face. She’ll be able to make this house a place Skylar will love. “Thank you.” “Anytime, Detective. I kind of owe you for helping me with Herman.” As if he heard his name, Herman comes bolting inside with a stick in his mouth. It’s so big it won’t fit through the door, and I have a hell of a time trying to get him to release it. Kayla is laughing so hard, tears are running down her cheeks and she’s doubled over. When she stands up, I lightly brush one of my fingers across her cheeks and wipe away the tear. She lets out a ragged breath, and when she looks up at me, with fire and passion in her gaze, I’m forced to take a step back. I went too far and I know if our lips happen to touch again I won’t be able to stop, which isn’t fair to her. Kayla is beautiful and a genuinely good person who spends so much of her free time making the world a better place, that she deserves a man that can make all her dreams come true. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I’ll ever be him.
KAYLA By the time I make it back to my office, I’m over an hour late, and I know it will put me behind this afternoon, which means I’ll have to stay later. I hope and pray when I walk in my boss is still out for lunch because he’s been riding my ass lately about coming in late and taking longer lunches. As I round the corner, I realize that my wish was not granted because Mr. Huffman is eyeing me with disdain on his face. “Long lunch again, Sinclair?” he practically snarls. “I actually worked through lunch and met with a potential client.” I’m not lying, but it’s not the complete truth either. His demeanor changes slightly as I head to my office and get my notes sorted for the house I’m visiting today for the staging tomorrow afternoon. Not only do I specialize in interior design, but when any of my clients decide to sell their homes, I help them set up their entire house with furniture and decorations to make it feel like a home when potential buyers do walk-throughs. I’m proud to say that every space I’ve staged has sold within twenty-four hours of a showing. I try to create the dream house that I would’ve loved to have lived in when I was a kid instead of being shuffled from foster home to foster home. My only goal is to create a safe haven for families, a place that feels cozy. And it doesn’t hurt that I bake fresh cookies before each showing so it feels and smells like home. Lucy pops her head in my office and she’s smiling really big. “I don’t want to hear about your lunch quickie.” I stop her before she can even open her mouth. She playfully rolls her eyes. “Do I look like I just had sex?” I stop what I’m doing and look at her. “Truthfully?” She nods with wild hair and pink cheeks. “Yes. Ugh, so jealous,” I say stuffing my files and iPad into my oversized purse, making sure I have the correct address. “So...” she sits on the edge of my desk. “Spill it. I know you’ve got something to say. I’ve been working with you for waaaay too long.” I stand, packing my laptop into my bag. She’s grinning so big that I stop and laugh. “What? Come on! Tell me!” She taps her finger on her swollen lips. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”
I look at her like she’s lost her mind. “Probably going to watch Christmas movies and snuggle with my dogs...as usual.” Lucy takes my hand in hers. “Actually, I was thinking you should join Mr. Wonderful and me for dinner along with his best friend, Dr. Christian Wyatt.” My mouth falls open and she places her finger under my chin and shuts it. “Your husband is not best friends with Christian Wyatt.” She smirks. “Have been since high school. And somehow your name was brought up over drinks last night. So, I thought I’d, I dunno, play matchmaker or something.” She pretends to have a bow and arrow and points it straight toward me. “You’re serious?” I ask again. “Let me show you his Facebook. He’s got it pretty locked down but since we’re friends...” She opens Facebook and scrolls through his photos. A sound escapes me when I see a picture of him hiking shirtless and see abs for days. “Here’s a picture of him as the best man at my wedding.” “That tux though,” I say, almost drooling. “I know. And he’s single and kindhearted. He loves animals more than you do, don’t know how that’s possible, and he hasn’t mentioned a girl in years until last night when your name popped up in our conversation. Of course, I told him about how amazing and single you were.” Heat rushes to my face, and I might be a little embarrassed. “I also mentioned how when you’re older you wanted to have seventeen dogs.” “No. You. Didn’t.” “Chill out. I’m kidding. I told him how you’re the kindest person I know. And, honestly, I’m slapping myself for not trying to hook you two up sooner. Could’ve saved you some of that online dating torture.” I groan and roll my eyes. “He’s just not been interested in anyone. Until you, it seems,” she tells me matter-of-factly with a satisfied smile. The alarm on my phone goes off and I look at the time and go into panic mode. “Oh crap, I’m going to be late. Text me the details please! Thank you! I love you!” I grab my purse and rush out of the office to my car and drive across town as fast as I can. Lately I’ve felt like I’ve been in nothing but a rush everywhere I go. My heels clack against the cement as I walk-run across the driveway of the two-story home where I’m doing a walk-through. As soon as I step inside, I go into planning mode, taking pictures with my iPad and double-checking the
dimensions of each room. Just as I’m about to leave, the owners pull up with smiles on their faces because they know they’re about to sell this million-dollar home for their asking price. “Ms. Sinclair,” Jessica says. “I’m so happy you’re helping with this.” She gives me one of those fake kisses on each cheek and I hold back the eyerolls. “Me too. I should have everything staged tomorrow afternoon so you can have the showings anytime on Friday.” “That’s perfect, darling. If you’re as good as everyone says you are, I’ll be writing an extra bonus for you.” I give her a sweet smile, explain the process, and promise to send her an email with my expectations and timelines of how tomorrow will play out. I head back to the office and park two blocks away because there is no parking at the building. I’m exhausted and my feet are killing me from wearing heels all day. Tomorrow I’m going for flats. Once I’m back inside, I sit down at my computer and start writing up the email I promised to send Jessica. She’s a high-profile client, and I know that if my staging is perfect, that house will sell with no issues for the price they’re asking. It could open up a lot of opportunities for me, which might allow me to branch out on my own someday. That’s the dream at least. I set up delivery for the furniture I have being stored off-site and it’ll take several truckloads to get it across town. After a few hours of designing each room, I decide it’s time to call it a night and get back home to my fur babies. The sun is setting over the horizon, and I want nothing more than a glass of wine and a hot bubble bath. Once I’m home and have taken the dogs out and eaten dinner, I head to the master bathroom. As I turn on the water in the tub, I finally have a moment to think about what happened between Logan and me today. He confuses me. He looks at me like he wants me but he doesn’t respond or make a move or anything. He’s made it clear we’re just friends, and going forward, I’m going to treat it as such, regardless of the way my body responds when his eyes meet mine or how each time we’re together that low hum of electricity seems to stream between us. Before hopping in the bath, I grab one of my favorite bath bombs off my vanity and toss it into the water. I watch as it fizzes and purple and blue colors start surfacing. It smells amazing, like lavender and ocean mist. It’s so calming, and I enjoy using them whenever I have the time to take a bath. A text dings on my phone, distracting me from the bath, and when I look at the screen, I nearly faint in shock.
L: Do you want to get together tomorrow night and go over some decorating ideas? I write out several messages and delete them before I finally find the right words to say. I don’t want to lie, but I feel weird telling him I have a date with Christian. K: I’d love to but I kinda have plans. How about Saturday? L: Actually, I’ll be out of town all weekend. Speaking of which, can I bring Herman over Friday after work until I’m back? He doesn’t say he’s going to visit Skylar, but I know he is. It explains so much actually, but every time we have a conversation that’s surrounded with awkward tension, I wish more than anything that I could just tear down his walls. Then again, he’s not the only one who has skeletons hiding in his closet. I just wish he wasn’t so guarded with them, but I honestly understand. I’ve got my own issues I don’t talk about either. K: Yeah, no problem. Just text me when you’re bringing him and we can get together next week sometime. L: Sure. I don’t push him to tell me and I know our conversation is basically over. I slowly step in the steaming bath and sink down into the water. I close my eyes as the hot water relaxes my muscles. It’s so calming and soothing, but I feel a strange sense of guilt overtake me. Logan and I are just friends and he’s made it very clear he wants to keep it that way. If I’m ever going to get over my feelings for him, I have to date. I have to give people who are interested a chance and that’s exactly what I plan to do— starting now.
CHAPTER TEN LOGAN Thursday passes and Friday is gone within a blink. Over the last few days I’ve kept myself busy and viewed different apartments and houses for Maggie and Skylar. There’s a two-bedroom house a few blocks away from me and it’s affordable. The elementary school is close as well and it won’t be available for another month. A part of me wants to put the deposit down and let Maggie know it’s taken care of, but I know I can’t be too overbearing about this. Each time I push her, she instinctively pulls away. I put Herman in the backseat of the car and drive over to Kayla’s allowing him to hang his head out the window the whole time. After parking in her driveway, I grab the leash and walk Herman up the sidewalk leading to her door. Before I can knock, she opens it with a huge smile on her face. “There you two are,” she says beaming, allowing us to enter. Her three dogs come running and instantly start playing with Herman. I turn and look at her smiling and notice she’s wearing a black dress that goes midthigh and slightly falls from her shoulders. Her brown hair is pinned up out of her face. She licks her red lips and scrunches her nose at me. “What?” She places her hands on her hips and waits for me to answer. “Nothing.” I’m taken aback by how stunning she is, but I keep it to myself and push the thoughts away that push through my mind. She playfully rolls her eyes just as a knock is heard on the door. Tucking loose strands of hair behind her ear, Kayla lets out a deep breath. After the door creaks open, she laughs and I hear a familiar voice complimenting how beautiful she looks. Christian enters, dressed in a button-up shirt and nice slacks. I eye him, and an unspoken message is exchanged between us and I think he understands he better not hurt her. Christian looks at me then looks over at Kayla. “Oh sorry, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” His manners are on point, and the way he smiles and looks at her, brings back that familiar feeling I keep pushing away. “No, I was dropping off Herman,” I say walking toward the door. “Just leaving, actually.”
Christian places his hand on the small of Kayla’s back as I walk past them and I realize what’s taking place. Kayla is going on a date with Mr. Perfect and I should be happy for them both. That’s what friends do. As I walk past his Mercedes I feel the jealousy stream through me. I climb into my car and turn up the radio to drown out my thoughts. As always, I get stuck in traffic while heading toward Maggie’s and it annoys me more than usual when my phone vibrates in my pocket. M: We need to cancel this weekend. Skylar’s running a fever. Instead of texting back, I call and it goes straight to voicemail. Fuck. Taking the next exit, I pull over at a gas station and try to call Maggie again and this time she answers. “What do you want, Logan? My text should’ve been enough.” She’s talking quietly but the hostility isn’t lost on me. “I’m on my way there already, can I come see her at least?” “It’s not a good idea. She’s been in and out of sleep and her fever is climbing. She needs her rest and you being here would do exactly the opposite of that.” The silence between us cuts as sharp as a knife. “Anything else?” she adds. “I guess not.” Maggie hangs up and I stare out the window of the car for a long while and watch the storm clouds drift on the horizon. This is exactly why they need to be closer. Before I get on the highway, I call Drew because he’s my go-to buddy on the weekends I’m home and he happens to be off until Sunday. “Hey man,” Drew is in the middle of laughing as he answers. “Are you busy tonight?” I ask since my weekend plans are shot. “Going to grab dinner in about thirty minutes.” I hear Courtney yelling in the background inviting me to come along and I smile. Courtney is known for being a tad abrasive but at times like this, I welcome it. “Apparently I need to invite you. Wanna meet us at the Wine Bar on 5th?” “Are you sure? I mean if it’s a date, I don’t–” Courtney grabs the phone from Drew. “You’re coming. So, meet us there, ‘k?” Over the years she’s been determined to crack my shell and I let out a laugh. It’s the first time I’ve really smiled in the last hour. “Yeah, I’ll meet you two there.”
She squeals and gives the phone back to Drew. “See you in a bit.” Drew and Courtney pull up as soon as I do and I meet them at the door before we walk in. Courtney gives me a big smile and Drew’s shaking his head at her. “Detective,” she nods as I open the door for her. “She’s really feisty today,” Drew warns, following behind Courtney. I’m pretty sure she’s feisty every day, but I don’t dare say that, even though I’m sure Drew would agree. We walk in and are immediately seated at a corner table in the dark room. Jazz music flows lightly in the background and the flickers of candles on the tables reflects shadows against the walls. This is a place where people bring their dates, not have a dinner with a friend and it just became really awkward. “And I officially feel like a third wheel,” I say before opening the menu. Courtney rolls her eyes and gives me a big smile. “Do you want me to sit beside you?” I shake my head but she doesn’t hesitate and moves beside me. “I much prefer staring into Drew’s eyes over dinner anyway.” I chuckle. “I got a smile out of hard-ass Logan Knight. That’s winning,” she says, her Southern twang obvious, then laughs loudly not giving a fuck how quiet the room is or who’s dinner she’s interrupting. The waiter comes to the table and Courtney orders a few bottles of wine and appetizers. While we wait, I ask the right questions about her family, the honeymoon, her job, and the questions-and-answer game goes on and on. Though at times I can be awkward in social situations, Courtney tends to not care and treats me the same way she treats everyone else. She calls is Southern hospitality and I call it being an extrovert who gives no fucks, but, somehow, we meet in the middle. Drew continues about work and I add a few things to the conversation as well, but it’s nothing more than small talk. I’m grateful for their company even though the situation is less than perfect. I take a sip of wine and scan the room as I always do, mostly out of habit, but I swallow hard and let out a calm cool breath when I see a tall brunette wearing a black dress staring at me from across the room.
KAYLA Christian is a nice guy and love animals as much as I do, which I agree with Lucy, I don’t know how that’s even possible. Our Thursday night double date
was cancelled and he rescheduled for tonight, just the two of us, which I willingly agreed to. When I look at Christian, I know he’s the whole package. He has a career, he’s compassionate, loves to have fun, and he’s gorgeous. If I had to describe my dream man two years ago before meeting Logan Knight, Christian would check all the boxes. As we’re walking out to Christian’s car, I feel my phone vibrate and notice I have a text from Courtney. C: What are your plans tonight? K: Going on a date! C: OMG! Finally! Let me know how it goes! K: I will! I lock my phone and shove it in my clutch. Christian opens the car door for me, being the perfect gentleman. During the ride to dinner he asks me a series of questions, and after each one it ends with a me too. We have a lot in common, mostly, but I don’t dare bring up my past. It’s often too painful to talk about. Even mentioning or thinking about foster care doesn’t really brighten the mood and I don’t want his or anyone’s pity. It’s made me who I am today and I’m proud of who I’ve become regardless of my adversities. The time passes by so quickly as we drive across town and soon he’s pulling up to the valet. Before we walk inside, he places his hand on the small of my back, and his touch does something to me. Oddly enough it feels natural. The hostess smiles at Christian, but he doesn’t notice her low-cut shirt or the way she’s undressing him with her eyes. He’s too busy looking at me, as if I’m the only woman in the room. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been the center of anyone’s attention, but it makes me feel wanted and I’m not complaining at all. Before we’re sat, Christian excuses himself to the bathroom and I wait with a smile on my face and that’s when I notice Courtney, Logan, and Drew sitting in the corner. I’m a little confused because I thought he was going to visit his daughter this weekend. I try to put the pieces together but it’s not adding up. At first, he doesn’t notice me, but when he does, I feel the fire burning between us, even across the low-lit room. His gaze singes over me and heat rushes through my body. Though no words are exchanged, and he’d never admit he’s thought twice about us, his eyes say it all. There’s too much tension, unspoken words, and emotions flowing between us, and I’m temporarily lost in the thoughts of us. My heartrate is erratic and I almost forget to breathe as I try to recompose myself. Swallowing hard, I turn my head, trying to pretend I didn’t see him, though it’s a poor attempt because it’s too obvious. Courtney notices
Logan’s attention is on something else, I see her ask him a question because nothing gets past her. Thinking quickly, I turn around putting my back toward them and hope she doesn’t draw attention and that Logan doesn’t out that I’m here. I hope, just this once, she doesn’t get involved because it would make this date extremely awkward. Christian returns and I look over at him and smile, hoping he doesn’t notice the change in my behavior. The hostess seats us in direct line of their table and I catch stolen moments with Logan over Christian’s shoulder, which feels so wrong. Randomly our eyes meet and I try my damnedest to pretend he’s not there, but it’s hard. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m drawn to him like sprinkles on donuts. This date was supposed to be about getting over Logan and here I am thinking about him. Granted the current situation doesn’t help at all. We order wine and I’m two glasses in before our dinner arrives. “Everything okay?” Christian asks cutting into his vegetarian pasta. “Yeah, fine.” I smile over the rim of my glass before I empty it and fiddle with my salad, but I’ve lost my appetite. “I was thinking of volunteering at the shelter tomorrow, do you plan on being there?” he asks. I search his face and my heart does a little flutter at the thought of him wanting to genuinely help. “Of course. I’m sure they’d love to have you.” “Would you?” His bluntness slightly catches me off guard or maybe it’s the wine—probably a little bit of both—but I give him a smile. Heat rushes to my face so I excuse myself to the bathroom. Just as I’m out of sight, I lean against the wall and breathe. I have so many mixed emotions flowing through me that it’s hard to pinpoint how I feel right now while my mind is swimming. After I compose myself for a moment, I walk to the end of the low-lit hallway, noticing the way the lanterns on the walls flicker like candles. Just as I’m getting ready to push open the bathroom door, someone grabs my hand and turns me around. Words slip from my mouth until I’m face-to-face with blue eyes. “What are you doing?” I try not to look at Logan, not wanting to fall into his gaze that’s kept me captive for the past hour. “Wondering if you need to be rescued or not.” He slightly smiles, and I can’t tell if he’s joking or being serious. I narrow my eyes at him. “I’m fine, thank you very much. I’m actually having a great time.” “Is that why you’re more interested in everything but your date?”
My mouth falls open and I’m ready to rebut him except I don’t realize how close we are until his warm breath brushes against my cheek. My back presses against the cool wall and I’m teetering on edge as his mouth moves closer to mine. The warmth of his body encapsulates me and I’m losing myself in the moment. Logan takes my cheek in his hand just as our mouths crash together, but this is no accident. My fingers instinctively thread through his hair, and our kiss deepens even further as our breaths become more ragged. Our tongues brush against each other—greedy mouths and lips—and I’m trying to stop, but we’re in too deep—completely committed to kissing. We’re lost in each other for an indefinite amount of time, and I don’t seem to care. Emotions soar through me, and I know he feels it, too, because his body gives him away. Logan’s mouth slows, and he whispers, ‘I’m sorry’ across my lips. He lingers over my mouth for a blink of time before pushing away. I have just enough time to look into his eyes that are so damn sad. I open my mouth to say something, anything. I want to scream out to him but the words don’t come as he walks away.
CHAPTER ELEVEN LOGAN That kiss should have never happened, but it did, and I can’t take it back. Days have passed and it’s been running through my mind on repeat. Kayla hasn’t returned my text messages, and the last time I saw her was when she dropped Herman back at my house. Needless to say, the conversation was short and the guilt of it all is weighing heavily on my shoulders. After a few moments of me staring at my computer screen, Brantley walks in my office pulling me away from my thoughts. “Ready to go? Elk Grove is calling.” I can already tell he’s in a bad mood and I know this case is bothering him, but we both have an oath to uphold, regardless if our supervisor’s daughter is involved or not. We walk down the hallway like we’re about to wreak havoc on the drug lords of Sacramento, and, in a way, we are. “How’s the case going?” Supervisor Royal asks walking down the hall sipping a steaming cup of coffee. Brantley stands there, waiting for me to answer. “I think it’s going good. We’ve gotten some more anonymous tips on the case and am working with the night shift to help prove drugs are involved. We suspect they are, but haven’t had any hard evidence yet. Hoping to get that today.” “Good work. Keep me updated.” Supervisor Royal obliviously walks into his office and I turn and look at Brantley who’s sweating. “Chill the fuck out,” I whisper to him and he lets out a deep breath. Once we’re in the unmarked car, driving to the suburbs, Brantley slightly relaxes. “I’ve called in a few police officers to patrol the area. Once we get solid identification of vehicles that are doing deals, we’ll call it in.” Brantley parks around the corner, and we wait for thirty minutes before any activity is in the neighborhood. Once school dismisses and the teenage boy arrives home, it seems a new vehicle pulls up every few minutes. He walks to their car, there’s a quick exchange which neither of us can see and the cars drive away.
“I feel like they got a new supply in,” I say. Writing down license plates and descriptions to make sure to watch for those same vehicles next time. “That kid looks like he’s tweaked out today. Look how he’s scratching his arms.” Brantley’s mouth falls open. “There she is.” I hurry and pick up the binoculars and see the Royal kid get out of a Cadillac with a duffle bag swung over her shoulder. She walks in like she owns the place, spends thirty minutes inside, and walks out with disheveled hair. The bag is almost too heavy for her to carry. “What do you think is in there?” Brantley asks. Without hesitation, I pick up the radio and describe the vehicle to dispatch. I give the location and the license plate number and dispatch repeats it back. I request that they pull the vehicle over in a different location, so then it’s not so suspicious. We don’t want our cover blown. “Follow them.” Brantley doesn’t wait a second and stays far enough away from the vehicle that it’s not noticeable they’re being followed. Soon a K-9 police car pulls from a random neighborhood and tailgates them. I know the plates had already been run because I heard it over the feed, but it’s important for me to know what’s in that bag. I’m willing to bet it’s money or drugs. Regardless a seventeen-year-old has no business having either or being involved in this. I’m sure she thinks she’s invincible, considering who her father is. Before the Cadillac can pull up onto the freeway, the police car flicks its lights on. We make the block and park in a grocery store parking lot. Two older white guys get out of the vehicle along with Penelope. She’s as calm as can be as she hands over her license and says something. I’m sure she name-dropped her father. The officer looks at her and recognition flashes across his face, and he knows exactly who she is. “Do what you’re supposed to do,” I say between gritted teeth as I watch the whole thing go down through binoculars. The officer doesn’t get the dog to sniff out the vehicle and lets them all go without a search. “What the fuck!” Brantley says. I set the binoculars down in my lap and sit there a bit stunned. “I somewhat figured that would happen. Do you know what officer that was?” “I think it was Officer Riley. He’s a dick.” I shake my head. “I want to know what was in the bag. If she’s selling to other high school students, we’re going to have a huge problem.” “Do you know if her and that kid are enrolled in private school?” I try to remember bits and pieces of conversations I’ve had with Royal. “I’m pretty sure his kids go to public school, because one plays on the school softball
team.” “My daughter is a freshman; do you want me to see if she knows anything?” I contemplate this. “No, it’s best not to get her or anyone else involved because I have a feeling this is bigger than either of us realize.” After chatting, we get a cup of coffee and return to the neighborhood. All is quiet, until a moving truck backs into the driveway. Two people load twenty to thirty boxes into the garage until it’s practically full while the kid watches. When it’s over, he slips the driver something in the palm of his hand and they’re off. The kid laughs like a maniac looking at all the boxes. His father comes out the front door, paranoia written all over his face and they step inside the garage and close the door. “What the hell? This just keeps getting stranger and stranger,” Brantley says. “What do you think is in there?” “Wouldn’t surprise me if we just watched a massive drug delivery go down. It’s the perfect cover-up. Moving truck. Stuff the drugs in moving boxes. Doesn’t look too suspicious to the average neighbor, but we know better.” Right on time, the mother pulls up in her car and the neighborhood stays quiet for the next hour. “So, we’ve learned they do business between the hours of four and six. Once the woman shows up, all of it ends.” I make a note in the case files. “That makes for quick business every day.” Brantley starts the car and we head back to the office. “We need to see what their activity is like on the weekends. I have a feeling even more shady shit is going down during that time.” “You’ll be in town this weekend?” I nod. “Plan on it.” “Let’s meet at eight in the morning so we can see what they’re really doing.” I agree that it’s a good idea. As soon as we’re back at the station I walk into my office and Brantley follows behind me giving different scenarios. Our conversation is interrupted when Officer Riley walks in and slams the door closed. I turn around and am met eye to eye with him. “What the fuck?” he asks. I take a step back, creating space between us. “What is your issue, Officer?” “Having me pull over Supervisor Royal’s daughter. I’m not stupid.” Brantley takes a step closer and I stare at Officer Riley for a moment as agitation flows over him. I’ve never spoken to him before, and it’s a pity our first exchange has to be like this, but if he would have done his fucking job, we wouldn’t be in this position and I would know what the hell was in her bag.
“We had you pull over a suspicious vehicle. It’s as simple as that. My questions to you is why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do? Get the K9 out of the car. Do a walk-around? This isn’t rocket science.” “I don’t know what you’re playing at, Knight, but I’m not getting wrapped up in this bullshit.” “I think this conversation is over,” Brantley interrupts. Officer Riley stares me down for a moment then huffs out of my office and slams the door behind him. Brantley shakes his head. “Told you he was a dick.” “He has a bad attitude that I don’t care for and ruined a perfect opportunity to find drugs in that vehicle. I’m pissed.” I slam the files on my desk and sit on the corner of it. “Do you think he’ll go to Supervisor Royal?” Brantley asks. “Nope. He’s too concerned about repercussion.” I smile. “Maybe he should be your partner on this case instead?” “Funny. My choices are a dick or an asshole.” I crack up laughing. “Sounds like a party.” After a few more hours we finish our case files for the day and head out. We’re making progress and that is all I could hope for. This case could go on for months before it’s solved unless we can get solid proof there are drugs involved. Once I’m home, I let Herman out, play with him and his favorite ball in the backyard, then hop in the shower. As the water runs down my body the stress of the day slowly begins to vanish. I stand under the hot water for minutes and while my eyes are closed, the thoughts of that damn kiss fill my mind. Why did I do that? Why did I feel like I had to have her at that moment? It wasn’t fair considering she was on a date, but the way she looked at me across the room, the way she licked her lips when our eyes met, it was too fucking much. Once I’m out of the shower, I throw together a salad and scroll through my phone. Pictures of Skylar and me at the park prompts me to text Maggie. It’s close to eight and I want to chat with my baby, but she may be in bed already. L: Is Skylar still awake? M: She’s with my parents. They came into town and took her to dinner. L: When she gets home please tell her I love her and wish her sweet dreams. M: I will. Maggie doesn’t say anything else and I hope she will keep her word about delivering my message to Skylar. I let out a deep breath and look around my house and realize Kayla is right. There is nothing personal about it. Without the
furniture, it would look like an empty house. I unlock my phone and try to think of the right things to say to Kayla. I type it out and erase it several times until I hit send. L: You’re right about my house. Can we meet sometime tomorrow to discuss your ideas? I almost throw in an emoji for good measure since she’s ignored my previous attempts at contact, but I don’t. I wait a few moments and smile when I see her name flash across my screen. K: I can book you tomorrow at 12pm. I’ll need to do a complete walk through and discuss budget. L: I’ll be here. There’s so much more I want to say, words that don’t come, so I leave it be.
KAYLA To say I’m pissed at Logan Knight is an understatement. The way he kissed me on Friday is what fairy tales are made of, until he left me standing there alone with my thoughts. It turned into a nightmare situation quick. Afterward Christian drove me home, and I agreed to another date because I genuinely want to give him a fair chance without any distraction. He’s such a gentleman and walked me to the door but didn’t go in for a kiss, which I was grateful for. I think it would have been awkward. My Friday is busy as hell, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think it was a Monday. I have appointments booked every two hours and while I’m not complaining, I know afterward I’ll need a relaxing night with my dogs and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Chevy Chase never gets old. After my final morning client, I stop and grab a quick lunch and head over to Logan’s. Dread follows me across town and the anxiety of seeing him washes over me as I park in his driveway. I suck in a deep breath then step out of my car, steadying myself in my high heels. The only reason I’m doing this is because I know how important this is and how he desperately needs my help. Logan opens the door wearing a boyish grin and my heart lurches but I try to keep calm.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Knight. My name is Kayla Sinclair, and I’ll be doing a walk-through of your house today.” Logan tilts his head at me a smile almost playing on his lips. “Okay, I guess I deserve that.” I look up into his blue eyes trying to hold my emotions at bay. “Our relationship is strictly professional from this point on.” I almost wish he would disagree with me, but he doesn’t. He smiles at me, steps aside, and allows me in. Herman runs to me and I bend down and pet and kiss his head. It slightly takes me out of my zone. I stand and turn around and see Logan watching us. He lifts his eyebrows and gives me a small grin. I feel like we’re back in the hallway and he’s pouring himself into me. The urge to talk about what happened rests on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t bring it up. It’s better for me to pretend it didn’t happen though it’s hard for me when I look at him. Stolen moments in a low-lit room is what provoked him Friday. I’ll make sure nothing like that happens again. I open my iPad and begin snapping pictures of each room. “Do you have a specific budget in mind?” I stare at the empty room that’s meant for Skylar. He shakes his head. “Whatever amount it takes.” “So, ten thousand dollars?” I give him a challenging smirk. He takes a step closer and my heart rate increases. The smell of him completely encapsulates me and it’s almost too much. I’m frozen in place, completely unable to move as he walks past me. “A reasonable budget, but I want it to feel like a home to Skylar.” “I think we can make that happen, Mr. Knight.” I pop an eyebrow and open my notepad application. “When you call me that...never mind.” I’m on edge waiting for him to finish, but I clear my throat and change the subject. “So, what’s her favorite color?” “Purple and Pink, and she’s six and loves anything that has to with princesses or dance.” When Logan speaks about Skylar, his entire face lights up and I can’t help but smile. His love for her is so obvious. “What?” he asks. “Nothing.” My eyes wandered too long but I couldn’t help but notice him, really see him when he talked about his daughter. Happiness radiated from him which is why this project is so important. Though he frustrates me to hell and back, and I may never be allowed to be anything more than his friend, I want him to be happy.
I go back to my app with the photos and start drawing rough sketches of furniture over the blank space so he can get an idea. Back at the office I’ve got hundreds of swatches of the colors pink and purple. “Come see,” I tell him. He stands next to me and when his arm brushes against mine, I pretend it didn’t happen, but his touch sets me on fire. Slowly, I exhale, getting a grip. “Wow. So, the bed here, a desk and chair there, and a small dresser here? I can almost imagine it.” Logan’s smiling. “And I was thinking a big fuzzy rug here, bright colors, and decorate with princess accents and pink walls. It’s going to be cozy and fun but something she can grow into as well.” I’m talking fast because I’m excited for this project and I can tell Logan is just as thrilled. “I’ll draw up something more official and let you look over it before we start ordering things.” After we’ve finished the room, I walk down the hallway toward two doors and choose a random one. His bathroom is as stale as the other parts of the house. “Is this room on the list too?” I turn around smiling. “It’s not that bad, is it? I mean, what does anyone really need in a bathroom other than the necessities?” “I need for it not to feel or look like you could do surgery in here,” I say looking at the stark white walls, white shower curtain—white everything. “Fair enough. Add it to the list.” “Great.” I open the door opposite from the bathroom and it’s his bedroom. Neatly made bed, which doesn’t surprise me, nightstands on both sides, but still very impersonal. “You can leave that room how it is,” he says over my shoulder. It smells like his cologne inside and instead of lingering any longer, I close the door and walk down the hall. “Never saw someone so tidy. I don’t think I’ve actually met a person who makes their bed every morning without a maid or housekeeping taking care of it.” “I blame the military for that.” Logan’s eyes meet mine and though I want to ask questions about his past military life, I know he’s sealed like a vault. I change the subject when we walk into the living room. “I was thinking we could get a nice, large, area rug to cover the hardwood floors. Refinish your mantel, paint an accent wall, and move your furniture around where it flows nicely into the kitchen when you walk in. I’ve got a few large paintings in my garage that I haven’t used yet that would fit perfect against this wall.” Logan is listening, nodding his head at everything I’m saying. He might be the easiest client I’ve had. I look down at my iPad and realize I’ve been here for
almost an hour. Time seems to fly, but it feels like it’s standing still when I’m around Logan. “Well, Mr. Knight, I think that concludes our walk-through. As I said before, I’ll set up another meeting with you with actual designs and a proposal and some paperwork.” A smile creeps across his lips, and he continues to play along. I walk to the door to open it and Logan places his hand on my shoulder. “Kayla.” I turn around and search his face. “I was thinking about what you said the other day about how monumental having a dog in your life was as a child.” He pauses. “I know our month deadline is coming up, but I’d like to keep Herman and give him that forever home he deserves. I’ve grown to love the little furball and I think Skylar would love him just as much.” I cover my mouth with my hands and hold back squeals. Without hesitation, I go to Logan and wrap my arms around his neck and his arms snake around my waist. “Thank you! Thank you so much. Skylar is going to love him without a doubt.”
CHAPTER TWELVE LOGAN The weekend with Skylar was perfect. The daughter-daddy dance went off without a hitch and I loved watching her dance in the recital. Maggie and I sat close but our words were limited. My parents drove out to see Skylar dance too. For once, we almost seemed like a family. Maggie thanked me before I left. It was a simple gesture, one that I appreciated. I truly believe she’s considering moving closer now, just by side comments she made to my parents, which is a relief. Once I’m home, I let Herman out, kick off my shoes and finish watching the Yankees game. My phone rings and I see Kayla’s name flash across the screen. I smile and answer it, but my heart drops when I hear her voice, broken and ragged. “Logan...I called the police, but I’m scared.” I don’t hesitate to put on my shoes and grab my keys. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Where are you?” I’m in my car, starting it, and already down the street before she responds. “I’m at home. Someone...someone broke into my house.” I step on the gas and head toward her, trying to keep her attention, hoping she stays safe. “Get in your car and lock the door in case the person is still there. I’m on my way.” I hear her fidget with her keys and the car door slams closed, and I feel better knowing she’s safe. “Tell me what you see.” I stay calm, but I grip the steering wheel with a tight grasp. She’s silent for a moment which causes me to drive faster. “My front door looks like it’s been knocked off the hinges and the doorknob is broken. I hope my dogs are okay. I don’t care about anything else.” She’s holding back tears and it rips through me like glass. “You once told me they were protective and their bark is bigger than their bite. I doubt anyone got far after hearing or seeing Adam.” She sniffs. “I hope you’re right.” Before she can say another word, I’m pulling into her driveway.
Kayla gets out of her car and mascara is in long streaks down her cheeks. Her body is shaking and I pull her into my arms to offer some sort of comfort. “You’re okay, everything is going to be okay,” I tell her and she holds me tight. Just as she pulls away, a police car slows and pulls into the driveway. Tyler gets out with his new partner and walks toward Kayla. Things just got awkward considering Kayla dated him for a short period last year. He pulls out a notepad to take notes as his partner heads toward the house with a flashlight. “Knight,” he says, then glances over at Kayla who is visibly upset. Confusion flashes across his face and I know he’s trying to figure out why I’m here. With her. “Tyler,” she says, forcing a smile. “I’m thankful you’re here.” Her words cause him to perk up a little, and by the way he looks at her, I’m not sure he ever got over the breakup. I never asked why they are no longer a thing, because I felt it wasn’t my business, but from what I pieced together, Kayla ended it. I take the opportunity to step away and follow Officer Castle over to the door. “Knight,” he says with a big smile and offers me a friendly but firm handshake. He points his flashlight at the door and Kayla had described it correctly, ripped off the hinges. “Looks like someone really wanted in,” Castle says, inspecting it closer. The door is cracked open, and when Castle peeks inside, all of Kayla’s dogs start barking furiously which makes me smile. The princes may have been the only thing that stopped the intruder. I look over my shoulder and see Tyler talking entirely way too close to her, flirting while on the job. Castle flags them to come over. “What the hell,” Tyler says, noticing how damaged the door is. “Whoever it was must have used something pretty heavy to break the knob like this and tons of force to damage the frame so badly.” I hold back my Captain Obvious remarks and stand back because he’s always seemed slightly intimidated by me. “I’m really scared to go inside,” Kayla says, which causes Tyler to act like a superhero and swing open the door. He’s trying to show off, I think. Kayla’s dogs are barking like crazy and she runs to them, trying to comfort them, petting and kissing each one. She gives them a few treats then begins turning on all the lights in the house as Castle searches around with her. Tyler stays back with me. He glances over at me and I look him straight in the eyes. “Why are you here?” he asks.
“Because she wants me here.” My answer is short and he gets the hint, but it’s none of his damn business. “Everything looks exactly how I left it,” Kayla says, walking back to the living room where Tyler and I are standing. “I’m just confused why someone would go through all the trouble.” Castle begins writing up the police report and I take a moment to step outside and clear my mind. Why the hell would someone target her? The neighborhood has little to no crime and it’s barely after dark. Someone was looking for something, but what? I walk to the end of her driveway and look up and down the street; everything is completely calm. Light poles line the streets and the neighborhood is well lit. It blows my mind how no one saw or reported anything. Castle and Tyler step outside with Kayla behind them. I can tell she’s not herself and I hate seeing her like this. “We’re going to file this police report, and you should be able to pick up a copy tomorrow for your insurance. If you find that anything is missing or there’s other damage, please let us know.” “Thanks, Tyler,” Kayla says. He gives her a smile and places his hand on her shoulder. “If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know.” She doesn’t respond but offers him a smile and they get in the police car and leave. I hold up a hand waving goodbye as they back out of the driveway then walk to her. “Why would anyone break in and not take anything? I feel so violated,” she says. “You’re positive nothing is missing?” “Nothing was taken.” We move toward the house again and she hesitates before walking in, but goes inside. I follow her through each room, and, she’s right, it does look as if nothing was touched. Everything is tidy and neat and she’s really transformed her house into a home. Pictures of her dogs are scattered around in silver frames and she’s got motivational printed quotes on her walls. I’ve been in her house a few times before but I’ve never noticed the little details, the stuff that makes it hers. She turns and looks at me and swallows hard. “This was left on the fridge.” She’s holding a piece of paper. “What is it?” She hands it over. It’s a note that reads, I’ll be back. “What the fuck?”
“I’m pretty sure I know who it was now.” Kayla’s eyes lower and she wraps her arms around her body. “I can take a guess.” Herman’s former owner, no doubt. “I’m not allowing you to stay here tonight.” Her face contorts, and for the first time tonight, I see her hold back a smile. “You’re not the boss of me, Detective.” “Tonight I am. I can’t in good conscience let you stay here alone.” “But...” “No buts. Grab your shit. Get your dogs. You’re staying with me.”
KAYLA Courtney, Viola, and I went out for pedicures after I volunteered at the retirement home on Maple Street. A few times a month, I go and visit the residents. I know what it’s like to not have a family who cares or a family at all, so I try to bring small gifts and books for them. It’s something I’ve done since moving to Sacramento. Many of them call me their adopted granddaughter, and it feels good to have a sense of family, even if they aren’t blood related. The weather is perfect and I can’t help but notice the pinks and purples in the sky as I pull into the Nail Depot. As soon as I walk inside, Courtney and Viola come to me and we exchange hugs. “I so need this,” I say. “Girl, I haven’t had a pedicure since the wedding. I’m gonna have to tip her big. Better pull out the cheese grater,” Courtney says under her breath just loud enough for Viola and me to hear. “You’re disgusting!” Viola says as we’re being walked over to the foot tubs and chairs that give massages. “Never a dull moment with you, Court.” She smiles at me. “Catch us up with what’s going on with you,” Viola says. “It’s been awhile.” “I still haven’t heard what happened the night at the Wine Bar,” Courtney says. “But if you don’t want to talk about it, I totally understand.” I bite my lip and smile. “I was on a date with Christian and stupid me couldn’t keep my eyes of Logan.” “Wait, who’s Christian?” Viola asks. “This super hot vet that asked Kayla on a date, but I have a feeling it’s not going to work out.” Courtney fills her in quickly. “Logan met me in the hall and took my breath away for the second time. Bastard.” I whisper. “I wish he would just give me a chance. He’s driving me
crazy.” “Maybe he’s changing his mind?” Viola says. “Hopefully.” Courtney tucks her hair behind her ear. “Anytime I mention your name around him, I can see a flicker of something in his eyes. I just really hope he’s the bad boy kind in bed so he doesn’t disappoint like Tyler.” I instantly laugh. “Logan’s too brooding to be sweet and sensitive in the sheets.” “I bet he’s a freak,” Viola says. “You could probably spot them considering who your husband is,” Courtney adds. Viola doesn’t disagree and laughs. “I’ve got a knack for those things.” Once our toes are painted and we’ve paid our bills, we walk outside and stand around and chat. “I’m starting to plan my Christmas in July Ugly Sweater party. I’ll let you know when it is, but you all have to come,” I tell Courtney and Viola before we walk to our cars. “We’ll be there!” Viola says. “For sure let me know, I’ve got a new Christmas muffin recipe I’ll make.” Courtney gives me a wink. “Oh my gosh, you better!” I tell her, not even kidding. We exchange hugs then we all go our separate ways. I drive home thinking about how much I love those girls. Once I park in my driveway, I grab a few portfolios from the backseat, and that’s when I feel something is off, but I don’t notice it until I pull out my keys to open the front door. I take a few steps back and stumble away, realizing my front door is cracked, the knob is damaged along with the frame. I don’t think twice before I reach for my phone and dial 9-1-1. Once I hang up, the next person I call is Logan. I’m on edge waiting for him, needing him to answer. My heart is racing, and when he answers, he instantly knows something is wrong. It takes everything in me to find my words, and I do what he says and wait in my car until he arrives. Fear rushes through mem and my body trembles from the inside out. All I can think about are my babies and I hope they’re okay. Just the thought of something happening to Adam, Philip, and Kristoff forces me to fight back tears. Nothing else in that house matters to me. In less than ten minutes, Logan is in my driveway and I breathe a breath of relief. As soon as I get out of my car, he pulls me into his strong arms and it feels like home. I open my mouth to say something, but as soon as I do a police car pulls into my driveway. My heart drops when I see Tyler get out of the car considering our past. I tense but push it away because I have to. I don’t think he got over the fact that I
ended it and the way he’s looking at me and eyeing Logan tells me I’m right. I go through the motions as if he’s not an ex and walk toward the house. When Tyler opens the door, I run to my pups. Their bark is fierce, but they are nothing more than big balls of fur. I give them love, kissing and petting each one, then grab a few treats. “Are my boys okay?” They wag their tails as if nothing happened, and for the first time all night, I slightly relax. I turn around and glance over at Logan and Tyler standing next to each other chatting then walk around the house with Officer Castle. Everything is in place, just as I had left it, but it confuses me more than anything. Why go through all the trouble? Tyler and Officer Castle give me the rundown and Logan steps outside. I’m worried that he’s leaving since I’ve filed the report. My heart rate increases, and all I want to do is make sure he’s still here. I follow Officer Castle outside and I see Logan standing next to his car. Our eyes meet across the distance and I’m relieved he hasn’t left. Once the police car backs out of the driveway, Logan walks toward me. I swallow hard, noticing the jeans hanging off his hips and the black T-shirt that’s holding on to his abs for dear life and all I can think is he came to rescue me like a real-life knight in shining armor. He asks me a few questions about the break-in and we walk back toward the house and I hesitate before opening the door. I know the night is almost over and he will leave and I’ll be here alone drowning in my thoughts of what-if and might-haves. I turn and look at Logan. “I’m not allowing you to stay here tonight,” he says, sternly. “You’re not the boss of me, Detective,” I say playfully, knowing damn well I’d let him be the boss of me any day. “Tonight I am. I can’t in good conscious let you stay here.” His words catch me off guard and I can’t help the way my body responds to him. “But...” “No buts. Grab your shit. Get your dogs. You’re staying with me.” His words ring through my house and I stand there for a moment staring at him. I guess this makes me a real-life damsel in distress. He lifts his brows and flashes me that smirk that always gives me butterflies. Sometimes I think he’s flirting with me, but then other times I know to not get my hopes up. It takes me awhile to pack an overnight bag and grab leashes and food for the dogs. Logan helps me carry everything outside and I load the dogs up in my backseat as I follow him to his house.
“Okay, boys. We’re going to have a slumber party tonight at Logan’s. You know how I feel about him so please behave.” Kristoff and Adam stare out the window while Philip lays in the backseat. “I’ll take that as an okay.” I pull up to Logan’s house and he gets out and grabs all my things and carries them inside. He sets my bag down on the couch and my dogs go crazy and want to play as soon as they see Herman. “Calm down, calm down.” I take them off their leashes and Logan opens the backdoor and the four of them run outside as fast as they can. He laughs. “That should keep them busy for a while.” He walks toward me and studies my face. “Are you okay?” “I am now,” I say truthfully. We exchange a moment and there’s so many words I want to say. “Thank you. Thank you for rescuing me...again. I feel so stupid. I’m sorry for bothering you and—” “Kayla.” He takes a step forward. “Don’t ever think you’re bothering me. If you need anything, I’m here for you. Always.” I tuck my lips inside my mouth. No one has ever said those words to me and meant them, no one except for Logan. “Thank you.” “I really appreciate this. You have no idea what this means to me. The couch will be fine,” I say, grabbing a throw pillow and sitting. “No. You can stay in my room with your pups.” My mouth falls open. “But...” He places his index finger below my chin and shuts my mouth. “I’ve already told you no buts. There’s clean sheets and tons of room for the princes. I insist.” Logan stands, grabs my overnight bags and waits for me to follow with a boyish grin on his face. I do as he wishes and Herman bolts in through the back door with the other three in tow just as I’m taking a step forward. I trip over them and Logan catches me in his arms. “I’m such a damsel tonight. Geez.” He chuckles. “It’s fine.” Kristoff, Adam, and Philip run past me and jump on Logan’s perfectly-made bed. “Looks like they’ve made themselves at home already,” I say. “And you should too. If you need anything, I’ll be on the couch. Just holler.” Logan gives me another smile, sets my bags on the edge of the bed, and shuts the door behind him. Not too long ago I was pissed at him and now I’m sleeping over at his house, in his room, in his bed. The smell of him surrounds me as I undress and slip under his sheets. My pups are scattered around the bed, completely laid out, and
after I put on my sleeping mask I somehow fall asleep thinking of nothing but him.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN LOGAN I wake up with a cold nose rubbing against my cheek and a kink in my neck. Peeling an eye open, I see Herman directly in front of me, wagging his tail, obviously eager to go outside. He nudges me with his nose again, and once I manage to peel myself off the couch, I slip my jeans on and lead Herman to the door. “Come on, boy.” He follows me out, and I stretch as I wait for him to finish his business. The air is hot and humid already, the California sun blaring down at me as I try and massage the knot out of my shoulder. Despite sleeping on the couch, I slept quite well. For the first time in weeks. “That’s a good boy,” I kneel and praise him as he runs back to me. I pat his head and ruffle his fur along his face. “Let’s get you some breakfast.” After refilling his food and water dishes, I grab my cell and call my supervisor. I tell him there’s been a family emergency, and I need to take a personal day. He gives me his usual shit, but lets me take the day off. Relieved to know I’ll have time to work on Kayla’s door and install a better lock and security cameras, I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Knowing Kayla is sleeping in my bed right now gets me worked up. I try to keep the images away, but the harder I try, the more I fail at censoring my thoughts. I know her feelings for me aren’t one-sided, but I can’t validate the way I feel for her. At least not right now. Skylar is my number one priority, and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t focus all my time on her right now. I can’t afford to lose sight of giving Skylar a better life here. Her mother has already been fighting me at every possible angle, and I can’t let myself get distracted. Because Kayla Sinclair is one hell of a distraction. Stepping inside the shower, I adjust the water and stand in the stream as I let her occupy my mind. My cock starts getting hard at just the thought of her. The way her long brown hair falls in loose waves down her back and looks flawless
every time I see her. She makes it seem effortless the way she donates her time to charities and others, without expecting anything in return. She’s not just the ideal woman—she’s the perfect woman. Equal parts sweet and sassy, she definitely gives me a run for my money. I can’t keep my shit together around her, and every time she gives me the opportunity, I either hold back or completely lose the willpower to stay away from her. It never seems to fail, though, whenever I see her with someone else, I lose all control. I’ve always had eyes for Kayla, but that doesn’t mean I can put my guard down. Dating has never come easy for me, especially since Maggie and being sent overseas. No matter how hard I fight it—my feelings for Kayla, my desire to feel her lips against mine, my fear that I’d end up fucking it all up—I can’t deny the way my body responds to hers. I can’t get my cock to calm down. Thinking about her drives me insane and knowing she’s sleeping in my bed right now is making me have wildly inappropriate thoughts. I palm my cock to ease the pressure, but with visions of her surfacing in my mind, nothing is going to help unless I release it myself. Giving into the desire, I pump my cock and close my eyes as I allow myself this one guilty pleasure. She’s a temptation I fear I’ll no longer be able to deny the closer we get. Having her help with Skylar’s room was one way to keep her around me, but now that her house was broken into, I want her around all the time. Hearing the way her voice cracked on the phone when she told me the news nearly broke me. I wanted to comfort her in more ways than just a friend should. I release hard and fast into my hand, groaning out loudly before I remind myself I have company in the next room. Sinking my teeth into my lower lip to quiet myself, I pump myself again until I’m completely spent. “Fuck,” I mumble under my breath, shaking my head. I need to get a grip on reality. I’ve pushed Kayla away every time she’s hinted at wanting more, and, inevitably, I pushed her right into Dr. Perfect’s arms. I can’t deny that he’d be the better fit for her, but I also can’t deny the jealousy that surfaces every time I know she’s with another guy. I know it’s my fault, that I’ve taken a bite of the apple and kissed her when she wasn’t mine to kiss, but I don’t know how to back away anymore. The willpower diminishes every time I’m with her. Once I’m out of the shower and dried off, I wrap the towel around my waist and finish getting ready for the day. Now that I’m not going into work, I can wear jeans and a regular T-shirt. However, I’m worried I’ll wake Kayla and her tribe of dogs if I go into my room to grab clothes out of my dresser.
The concern immediately vanishes as I open the door and run smack into Kayla. She’s taken off guard, nearly falling on her ass. I quickly wrap my arm around her and pull her to my chest. “Shit, I’m sorry.” I look over her disgruntled look, smiling. “You okay?” “Yeah, I’m fine.” She blinks a couple times as she clings to me. “It’s not every morning I walk straight into a wet, bare chest.” That’s somehow reassuring. I smile. The dogs race down the hall past us and I can soon hear them playing in the living room with Herman. “I was lost in thought, I guess. But had you fallen head first, that mask would’ve cushioned your fall.” I chuckle, not releasing her just yet. “Hey, no dissing the mask before breakfast,” she teases. “I usually remember to take it off once I’ve had my coffee.” We stand still, our bodies pressed against another, neither of us letting go. The air is thick between us, and I know I should make the first move. Gently, I slide my arm out from around her and take a step back, putting some space between us. “So, I guess breakfast?” I suggest, motioning to the kitchen. “Yeah, as soon as I let the dogs out.” Things just got really awkward for some reason. Then I remember I’m still standing here in only a towel. “Right. I’m going to get dressed, then we’ll talk about the rest of the day.” I take a step to the side to walk around her, but she moves at the same time and ends up getting her finger caught in my towel. I don’t realize it until the towel slides down my legs and pools to my feet. “Oh my God!” Shrieking, she covers her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I hadn’t meant to do that.” My head falls back and a hearty roaring laugh escapes my lips. I can’t help it. The way she immediately turns beat red and closes her eyes is completely humorous. “Why are you laughing?” she demands. “Because you’re adorable.” I smile, reaching down and grabbing my towel. “Can you please just cover yourself so I can open my eyes and walk away with some dignity left.” She squeezes her eyes tighter, her cheeks reddening. I knot my towel and take a step toward her, closing the gap between us. “Here, let me help.” I wrap my fingers around the elastic band of her sleeping mask and pull it down over her eyes. She crosses her arms, clearly not amused. “This does nothing to help.” She then laughs, and it’s the sweetest sounding sound in the entire world. “Can you
walk away now?” “If that’s what you want.” I smirk, even though she can’t see me. “However, most would say you’re an angel for not wanting to peek just a little.” She snorts. “Stop gloating.” I chuckle, shaking my head and take a step down the hallway. “And I’m not an angel.” I turn around and face her again. “No?” I ask. “I did peek,” she admits. “I just didn’t want you to know.” I can’t stop the smile from forming on my face as she confesses as if she’s a child and got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “Well, for what it’s worth, you’re still an angel to me,” I tell her before turning around and walking toward my room. I look down and see my cock getting excited again, and it’s a good fucking thing she still had that mask on.
KAYLA Oh my God. I’m completely humiliated, and I still have to face him when I return from walking the dogs. Maybe he’ll bleach the last twenty minutes out of his brain and he won’t remember a thing? If only. Logan Knight makes me act like a fucking moron. The signals, the vibes, the tension—I feel them the minute I’m near him—and it’s as if I can’t get my brain to function normally. I suddenly turn into a spaz. I shouldn’t be having thoughts about Logan anymore. I’m dating Christian— sort of—and I need to focus on that. On him. He’s the full package and more. He’s actually available. But, that doesn’t stop the thoughts of Logan roaming in my mind. It might be the warm morning air talking, but I’m almost positive Logan was being a bit more friendly than usual. One moment he’s kissing me and then apologizing and saying it never should’ve happened, and the next he’s pushing me up against his body to act as a shield. The man is infuriating at times! Either way, I need to cleanse the image of his half-naked, wet body out of my mind and remember that we’re just friends. In fact, he’s been more like a best friend as of late. I know I can call him whenever I need him and he’ll always be right there for me. He took Herman in as his own, knowing it’d make me happy. He listened to me and made me feel comfortable when I told him about my upbringing and all the memories I try to push away. I know I can rely on him and
he’s yet to let me down on that front. I know he’s keeping secrets from me, but I can only assume they’re to protect me, not hurt me. Logan Knight would never intentionally hurt me; that, I know for a fact. The boys and I have a different route since we’re in Logan’s neighborhood. I miss going to Donny’s and wonder if he’ll be worried about us. I make a mental note to stop in there on my way to work. Shit. Work. I haven’t planned that far out but now I’m worried what I’m going to do with the dogs while I wait to get my door fixed. As soon as we come back to the house, I start writing out a text to Viola to see if the dogs can stay with her just for the day. “Oh good. You’re back,” I hear Logan say from behind me. I look up and nod. “Yeah, I was just going to see if Viola could watch my dogs while I’m at work today since my door needs to be fixed. Oh, that reminds me. I need to call a locksmith or something.” I exit out of the text message without hitting send and click to search the internet for local recommendations. “Kayla...” he says, grabbing my attention. His eyes are fixated on mine as I look up at him. “I’m going to do that for you. I’m putting on a touch keypad deadbolt lock and security cameras that’ll link right to your phone.” “No, Logan. You have to work. I couldn’t ask you to do that.” “You didn’t ask me. I’m offering. And I took the day off. You should, too, after what happened.” “I like the distraction of work, but I wouldn’t feel right you taking off work because of me and installing all that gadgety stuff.” “It’s too late. I’ve already called in. You should too. Stay home with the dogs and relax for once.” “Who says I don’t relax?” I ask almost offended. “You mean in between your full-time job, hours of volunteering, and dogstealing hours you actually find time to relax?” he asks with a knowing smirk. “Fine,” I groan, rolling my eyes at him. “I will call in, but not because you told me to.” Smirking, he pinches his lips together and looks away. “Whatever you say, Angel.”
Logan heads out while I stay at his house and watch the dogs. I’m not used to all this downtime, so after an hour of vegging out on the couch, I get up and start cleaning. I don’t know why, I just need to keep myself busy. I’ve already eaten breakfast and cleaned my dishes, but if I don’t keep my mind occupied, I’m going to drive myself insane. The dogs lounge on the couch while I vacuum, dust, clean up the kitchen and start the dishwasher, put a load of dirty towels in the wash, clean the bathroom, and tidy up his bedroom. Once I’m finished, I look around and realize what I’ve done. “Shit,” I mutter to myself. “He’s going to think I’m a crazy person.” Adam barks, grabbing my attention to where he’s lying on the couch. He rolls to his back, showing off his big belly and begging for belly scratches. “You can’t just make yourself at home here, you know?” I tell him, laughing at the irony. Logan walks in less than five minutes later and his shirt is drenched in sweat. It’s humid and nearing ninety degrees out, which makes me feel even worse that he did that for me. “There’s no way anyone is breaking in through that door now. I attached five cameras around the outside of the house. I’ve already downloaded the app to test it out and you can see everything in real time. It’s motion sensored, so any movement will set it off.” “Wow...I have a feeling the girl scouts aren’t going to be coming around this year,” I quip, feeling nervous around him. “They’ll be too intimidated.” “They will if they want to sell cookies,” he teases. “True. I am a sucker for those damn thin mints. So addicting.” “I wouldn’t know. Never had them.” “What!” I screech. “How’s that even humanly possible?” He shrugs. “Guess I was never home when they came by.” “Okay, well it’s settled. I’m baking you my famous mint truffles. They taste just like a thin mint cookie,” I tell him matter-of-factly. “There’s no way you can go on living without knowing what a thin mint tastes like.” He chuckles. “I can’t deny baked goods.” He starts walking toward the hall when he stops frozen in his tracks and looks around. He scrunches up his nose as if he’s smelling the air. He cocks his head and narrows his eyes at me. “Did you clean?” My heart races in my chest and I know he’s going to think I’m a total nut job for cleaning his house. “I tidied up a little. I felt bad you were at my house working and needed to keep busy,” I explain, my voice sounding obviously nervous.
He bows his head, shakes it and laughs at me. “You really don’t know how to relax, do you?” My shoulders drop in relief. “Shut up!” I laugh at the way he’s laughing at me. “I tried, okay? I sat on the couch for an hour.” “We need to work on your taking-it-easy skills. But first, I need to shower and change.” He starts walking but I stop him. “If it’s safe for me to go home now, I think the dogs and I should head back. I need to shower and change.” I lower my eyes to the clothes I came over in last night. “Uh, yeah. I’ll text you the app so you can download it to your phone.” We stare at one another, both unsure of what to do or say now. “Will you come over tonight?” I blurt out without thinking. He furrows his brows, silently questioning me. “Let me make you dinner. To say thank you. It’s the least I can do. Please.” I feel pathetic begging him, but I need more time with him. I know he feels what I do, and even though it’s risky, I’m taking the leap. He has feelings for me and I’m going to crack him until he admits he wants me just as much as I want him. “Oh, and we can go over Skylar’s bedroom design. I have a plan drawn up for you to look at.” “Sure, I can do dinner. That sounds good.” He flashes a boyish grin, and I nearly melt against him like the sweat that’s coating his body. “Perfect! Seven?” “Sounds good. I’ll be there.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN LOGAN Fuck. Kayla inviting me over for dinner was a nice gesture, but I know it’s a bad idea. Dinner together sounds like a date. It’ll be just the two of us and we’ve never had dinner alone. Perhaps I’m making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be, but I’m on my last ounce of willpower to control myself around her. Pushing her away will be nearly impossible this time if she looks at me the way she has been—like she’s waiting for me. Yet at ten to seven, I leave Herman asleep in my bed and lock up my house and head to the car. I can’t even pretend that I’m not looking forward to spending the rest of the evening with her. She makes me smile and laugh more than I’ve done in months. In years. Before I pull out of the driveway, I decide to call Drew first. I haven’t really spoken to him much about Kayla and even though he and Travis have given me shit about her in the past, this time is different. “So, what’s the problem?” Drew asks when I inform him about Kayla’s dinner invite. “I’m worried I’ll give her the wrong idea. Dinner at her house sounds like a date,” I tell him. “I don’t want to disappoint her.” “Logan...” He pauses. “I’ve known you for years now. I’ve seen the way you keep people away to protect yourself and after what happened with Maggie, I can’t say I blame you. But I also think it’s time to give yourself a second chance.” “A second chance?” I ask, pessimistic. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” He blows out a long sigh. “You start with admitting your true feelings and go from there.” Once we end the call, I sit for a moment and reflect on what Drew said. Deep down I know he’s right, but for some reason, I hold back. I hold back to prevent repeating the same mistakes I did with Maggie.
Just before I back out of my driveway, I get a text from Kayla. Worried she’s canceling, I shift the car back into park and check her message. K: So I know this is really random and I’ll explain in more detail later, but I slept in Logan’s bed last night—alone (long story) and totally sneaked a peek at his dick this morning after he got out of the shower. It was by complete accident (a happy one) but now I can’t get the image of his huge cock out of my head! I’ve tried everything! I took a walk to Donny’s this afternoon to clear my mind and all I could think about was how I’d like to eat my glazed donut right off his cock and then some. Totally disturbing, I know! But now he’s on his way over here for dinner (I’ll explain why later) and I’m majorly freaking out. Do you think wearing a dress is trying too hard? It’s cute without being overly dressy. GAH. I don’t know why I’m overthinking this. I haven’t texted Christian back in three days and even though I know he’s like the PERFECT guy, I just can’t force it anymore. Am I crazy? Please tell me I’m crazy because I feel fucking crazy right now. I mean, did I mention how big and thick his dick is? Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had hot and rough sex? I nearly rubbed my clit off in the shower thinking about it. Okay, sorry to ramble on and on. He’s going to be here soon. I’ll text you tomorrow. Mwah! My eyes nearly bug out of my head as I read the message Kayla obviously meant for someone else. I can’t deny the fact that I’m a little flattered yet shocked at the moment. Mostly because she thinks a glazed donut would fit around my shaft. It wouldn’t by the way. She really needs to double check who she types her messages out to. Torn, I’m not sure if I should tell her she just texted me all her dirty thoughts or if I should pretend I didn’t just see that. Although it’s going to be really fucking hard to pretend I didn’t just read that —especially the part where she hasn’t texted Christian back in three days—I won’t say anything to her about messaging the wrong person. Well, at least not right away. I pull into Kayla’s driveway, a little weary yet excited to be spending the evening with her. I’m not sure what I expected, but when I knock on the door and watch Kayla whip it open with a burst of energy, I can tell she’s completely oblivious about the message. “Hey,” she greets, smiling wide. My eyes trail down her body, noticing the dress she’s picked out. It looks perfect against her curves. I almost blow my
cover by telling her it doesn’t look like she’s trying too hard—not that she ever needs to try hard with me—but luckily, I catch myself. She’s curled her long dark hair into waves that fall along her shoulder and back. She looks fucking stunning. “Hey,” I repeat. “You look amazing.” “Oh, thank you.” She blushes, brushing the hair away from her face. “You do, too.” This is starting to feel like a date, yet oddly—I don’t mind. She leads me inside, and, of course, the three amigos greet me as soon as I step in. They can smell Herman on me, which I’m sure is the only reason they allow me inside the house without barking. “So, what’s for dinner?” I ask as I follow her into the kitchen. “It smells delicious.” “It’s my special spaghetti recipe,” she tells me, walking over to the stovetop where she stirs the sauce. I smile at the proud look that’s on her face as she spoons the sauce and slowly blows on it. “What’s so special about it?” I ask as I watch her intently, oddly mesmerized by the way she glides her tongue along her lower lip before trying the sauce. “My secret ingredient.” She grins. “Try it.” She holds the wooden spoon out for me, and without much thought, I take it in my mouth and taste it for myself. Watching me, she focuses in on my lips, and I hear her breath hitch. We stand silent, neither of us making a move. Finally, she takes a step back, setting the spoon down as if she needed a reason to break eye contact. I lick my lips, tasting the sauce that got left behind. “Wine?” I ask. “What?” She looks startled. “Your secret ingredient,” I remind her, nodding my head toward the saucepan. “Red wine?” “Oh! Yes.” She adjusts the knob and turns the heat down to a simmer. “I mix red wine in with my sauce. Adds richness,” she explains proudly as she slowly stirs the wooden spoon around the pot. “Half a cup usually does the trick.” I eye the empty wine bottle that's sitting on top of her counter and smirk, knowing she had to have some liquid courage before I arrived, which explains the lengthy and accidental text message. “So where did the rest of the wine go?” Her cheeks redden as if she’s been caught. It’s quite cute—the way she easily blushes anytime we’re near. After talking to Drew, I finally feel ready to drop
my guard with her. I’m done pretending the feelings aren’t mutual. However, I can only hope she’s not given up on me after pushing her away all this time. “I might’ve tested the product first,” she teases. “And then some.” Once she finishes perfecting her sauce, she serves two plates with the pasta, sauce, cheese bread, and finishes it off with sprinkling parmesan cheese over everything. “It all looks delicious,” I tell her as she sets the plate down in front of me. We sit at the small tabletop she has in her kitchen and before taking her own seat, she brings over a binder. “Well, I only hope it taste delicious. However, for legal purposes, I must tell you that this dinner has no association with Heavenly Designs Company and if you die from food poisoning, they can’t be held liable.” She can barely say it with a straight face and laughs. “Since this is probably more of a business dinner and all,” she says, but this time in a more serious tone as if she’s needing confirmation. “That might depend on who you’re asking,” I say, staring into her eyes. “Are you usually allowed to drink on the job?” I smirk, knowing that’ll get her to relax. She finally takes a seat across from me and smiles. “Well if anything does happen to you, we’ll just leave that little detail out.” We both laugh and soon it feels easy and natural being with her. We take our first few bites before she starts talking about Skylar’s room. “I think you’ll really like what I drew up for her room. I started envisioning white furniture with lavender painted walls that’ll help keep it looking bright and clean. I think she’d love a full-size bed with a twin-size trundle bed underneath. That way it gives her room to grow comfortably in a larger bed and if she ever wants to have a friend sleep over or wants Herman to sleep in her room, you can pull out the bed from underneath.” “I think that’s a great idea,” I tell her, grabbing the cheese bread and bringing it up to my mouth. At least I’m pretty sure this can’t kill me. “Then I was thinking about having silhouette black cutouts of dancers on the wall her dresser is on so the decor is all together. Then a sheer canopy that’ll hang from the ceiling and drape over her bed. She’ll feel just like a princess,” she says with a wide smile. It’s sometimes hard to believe Kayla went through everything she did as a child. It’s no secret she probably wished for a room of her own when she was Skylar’s age and even imagined what she’d want it to look like. I can see how passionate she is about her job and about giving Skylar the best room possible.
“Then I found this great stuffed animal zoo storage holder idea to go in the corner so she can still grab them on her own, but it’ll make cleaning them up a hundred times easier.” “What’s that?” I ask, swirling my fork around in my pasta and hanging onto every word she says. “There’s three sides like a triangle so it fits nicely in the corner of two walls. There’s a wooden top and bottom and then bars between them so the stuffed animal stays securely inside, yet easy enough to take out when she wants to play with them.” She watches for my reaction, but I’m still trying to picture it in my mind. “Hold on, I’ll show you.” She laughs. She starts showing me her drawings and I can finally see it in my head. It all looks amazing, and I know anything Kayla does, I’ll love. “Then in the opposite corner near her bed, I thought setting up a little reading nook would be nice. Some place you two can sit and read together. Hang some floating shelves or even rain gutters to display the books and then some pillows or a bean bag underneath.” “I actually really love that idea!” I get goose bumps just thinking about it. I can’t wait to have Skylar here. “Yay! I’m so glad. I tend to go a little overboard sometimes,” she admits, biting down on that lower lip that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. Our eyes meet, and I wonder if she can feel what I feel right now. She swallows and we break eye contact. “What about the other wall?” I ask, deflecting the tension. “Well, I was thinking an eight-by-two cube storage where she would have bins and could store her toys. That way it helps with the clutter and makes it easy to pick up. That’d give her room to decorate and put up pictures or whatever on top,” she says proudly. “She’d probably love some pictures of the two of you displayed there.” “I definitely want to get more of us,” I tell her, trying to remember the last time we got professional family photos done. She was just a baby. She shuffles her papers around and shows me more. “Then above the storage cubes, I was thinking of putting more hanging shelves where she could decorate with knickknacks or more picture frames. As she gets older, she’ll have more things she’ll want to put up there too.” “Sounds perfect,” I tell her with a genuine smile. “I hope so.” She smiles back and I can tell she’s relieved that I approve. Her shoulders drop and her body relaxes once again. “I was going to find some pretty things to hang on the wall too. Hobby Lobby is my weakness, so prepare for some damage.”
I chuckle at her honesty and nod my head in understanding. “Whatever it takes.”
KAYLA I don’t know why I feel so nervous tonight, but Logan has always made me feel a little anxious anytime we’re together. But for some reason, tonight feels different. My nerves are on fire, and I can feel his eyes burning into me. “Well, how’s Christian doing?” he asks, helping me clean up the table once we’ve finished eating. He hasn’t brought him up since the night Logan charged at me and kissed me during my date. I’ve only talked to Christian once since then, but I’m not sure I should tell Logan that. He’d probably assume it was because of him. Which it mostly is, but he doesn’t need to get an ego boost over it. “Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?” I arch my brows, letting him know I’m not impressed with his way of bringing Christian into the conversation. “What? I was just making polite conversation.” He tries to hide the knowing smirk behind his hand as he brushes his fingers along his jawline. I roll my eyes, calling his bullshit. I rinse our plates before setting them into the dishwasher and close it up before responding. “Well, if you must know. We aren’t seeing each other anymore. I’m not even sure having one date is considered dating but there are no plans to go on another date.” I look away, hiding the fact that he makes me nervous, and when I’m nervous, I ramble. “That’s too bad. I figured he’d be the perfect guy for you.” The emphasis on perfect doesn’t go unnoticed or the way he idly steps closer. Gah, what the hell is he trying to do to me? I shrug it off as if I don’t agree or disagree with his statement. “Can’t force something that’s not there, I guess.” He purses his lips as if he’s giving it deep thought, although I know he’s more than happy to hear that I’m not planning to continue things with Christian. “Well I’d hate for you to have to settle with someone that you didn’t want to eat a glazed donut off of.” He spits out so confidently, I’m surprised he doesn’t choke on his tongue. Wait. What? It takes a moment to process what he just said. Glazed donut? Oh my God. Glazed donut!
I think back to when I sent that message to Courtney, mentioning Christian, Logan, and the glazed donut I’d like to eat off his... Oh my God. No no. No. “I sent you the wrong message again, didn’t I?” I close my eyes, hoping maybe if I can’t see my reality, this won’t be happening right now. “It appears that way,” he says, trying to stifle his laughter. “I mean, I wouldn’t have brought it up but I feel I should get to defend myself first.” “Defend yourself? Of what?” I lean against the kitchen counter, needing to hold myself up. He’s standing in front of me, only a small gap between us. I can’t read him or figure out his angle, but I feel it. The way my skin pricks with goose bumps, the butterflies in my stomach, and how my heart is beating harder and harder in my chest. He takes a step toward me. “That you’re telling people a glazed donut could fit around my shaft. I mean, that’s not exactly a compliment, so I should get to prove myself otherwise.” He takes another step toward me. My chest rises and falls, faster and deeper, but by the way he looks at me and how my feet feel frozen to the floor, I swear he’s about to close the space between us and do things to me I’ve only dreamed of. I can’t even think straight. My mind is going a hundred miles a minute and I can’t find the part in my brain that tells my body to move or my mouth to speak. Watching me, he takes the final step that brings our bodies chest to chest. His hand cups my face and he softly rubs the pad of his thumb along my cheek. I stare up into his eyes, waiting for him to say the words I so desperately need to hear. “Please don’t,” I whimper just above a whisper. He narrows his brows at me and I swallow in anticipation. “Don’t kiss me if you just plan to leave again.” My voice is pleading because I can’t handle it again. He drags his teeth along his bottom lip briefly before releasing it. “Angel, I plan to do a lot more than kiss you this time. You okay with that?” My heart leaps into my throat, barely able to get the words out when I feel his thumb trace along my lower lip. “Why? Why now?” The moment I ask, I want to punch myself in the vag for delaying his mouth on mine. But I can’t risk getting hurt by him again. Too many times he has kissed my breath away and left me standing speechless. “Because I’m tired of playing catch and release.” I still. “No more games,” he tells me, the look in his eyes proving his sincerity, yet I can’t stop the doubt that’s flooding my mind.
“Why should I believe you?” I whisper, needing him to calm my nerves. “You don’t have to. I’ll just work harder at proving it to you.” I open my mouth to speak again, but he covers my lips with his and silences any words that I had planned to say. I don’t fight it though. I welcome his taste against my lips and sink into his touch. He cups my other cheek and holds me in place with both of his hands. Pressed against me, I can feel the way his body reacts to mine. Eager hands slide down the length of my arms and continue to my hips and ass. I wrap my arms around his neck as he simultaneously lifts me up and sets me on top of the counter. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pull him closer. His lips never leave mine and all I can focus on right now is how good he feels pressed against me. His hands make their way back up and tangle in my hair. Moaning against his mouth, I feel his erection pressing against my thighs. God, I want to feel all of him. Inside me. Fucking me. His kisses are calculated and eager; rough and passionate. I can’t get enough of his lips. I want them everywhere all at the same time. He fists his hands in my hair and pulls my head back. Moaning loudly, he drags his lips down my jaw and neck. I arch my hips and feel him grind against me. “Fucking Christ, Kayla,” he mutters against my collarbone. “I’ve been fighting this for way too goddamn long.” “About time you came to your senses,” I tease, hoping he takes the hint that I want this as much as he does. And that he doesn’t fucking stop anytime soon. “Don’t push it, Angel. You said you liked it rough?” he asks, tracing his tongue up my neck so I can feel him smiling against my ear. “Or was that just for Courtney to know?” he mocks. “You couldn’t handle knowing the truth,” I tell him, neither confirming or denying his accusations, although I really really want him to know. He brings his mouth back down on mine, taking the air right out of my lungs as he presses his body harder into me. My legs tighten around his waist, and I can feel his hardness rub against my pussy. I almost don’t recognize him when he pulls away and I see the hunger in his eyes. My chest rises and falls hard as I wait for his next move. Barely catching my breath, he charges at me and scoops me up. “Ah!” I scream, laughing. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hold on tightly as he starts walking us out of the kitchen. “What are you doing?” He glances down at me and smirks. The bastard actually smirks at me as a way to say he’s not going to tell me.
He walks us down the hallway and once he’s in front of my bedroom door, he kicks it open but doesn’t step inside. “You going to tell me now?” “No.” I grin. “Well, you aren’t denying it’s true, so I’m going to risk it anyway.” He steps into my bedroom just enough to kick the door shut behind us and then releases me. “Standing up or bent over.” “What?” I nearly gasp, shocked by his bluntness. Grabbing ahold of my waist, he spins us around and pins me to the door with his hands on either side of my body. Leaning his head down so our noses almost touch, he mutters, “You either tell me how you like it, Angel, or I’m going to have to do it my way.” YES. YES. Your way, please. As long as it involves him getting inside me. “I may be a hard-ass at my job, but I’m nothing short of a gentleman in the bedroom. I won’t do anything you don’t give me permission to do. So, tell me,” he demands, his voice on edge. Blinking, I look down and see the noticeable bulge in his jeans. He’s probably going to burst if I don’t answer him. No longer able to hide the eager grin on my face, I look up at him and tell him exactly what I want. “I want you. I want it fast. Slow. Hard. Bent over. Against the wall. I want it all night long. In the morning. In the shower and the kitchen. I want you to break me, Logan. I’ve never wanted anyone else as badly as I want you.” He stares down at me silently, and it’s evident he’s processing everything I just admitted. Worried I scared him off, I speak up again. “Too much for you to handle, Detective?” I tease, knowing it’ll drive him insane. Stepping back, he brushes his hand along his jawline and stares intently into my eyes. The corner of his lips tilt. “You have no idea what you just asked for.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN LOGAN Kayla has completely taken over my self-control. I have zero willpower left and the only thing I want to do is strip her down and taste every inch of her. Stalking toward her, I lift her up and cover her mouth with mine. I pin her against the door with my hips as she wraps her legs around my waist and I devour her lips. So soft, yet eager. A whimper escapes her throat, driving hunger and desire right through me. My cock presses against my jeans and the harder it gets, the harder it becomes to restrain myself. Swinging us around, I walk us to the bed and lay her down. She smiles up at me as I pull my shirt up over my head and toss it to the floor. “You should always not be wearing a shirt,” she teases, admiring the view. “I’m sure that’d be a real bonus for my partner during stakeouts.” I smirk. She laughs and blushes at the same time. I can tell she’s nervous, but not in an uncertain kind of way. She wants this as badly as I do. I crawl down her body and pull up her dress until her stomach and panties are exposed. “Did you wear these for me?” I ask, plucking the thin string. She moans at the way I slide my finger over the fabric and rub her clit. “Answer me, Angel,” I growl, adding more pressure. “I wore them for you,” she finally confesses. “In hopes you’d be the one taking them off.” “Fuck,” I groan. I can already tell she’s going to kill me. She’s not shy in the bedroom, and I’m only getting started. “I can feel how wet you are, and I’ve barely touched you. Are you always this ready?” “Usually,” she admits. “Whenever I think of you. Or touch myself thinking about you.” I look up and make eye contact with her, smiling. “Or donuts,” she adds with a smirk. “I should’ve known you’d like food in the bedroom. You’re a kinky vixen, aren’t you?” I circle her clit faster, waiting for her to reply except her lips are
quivering and her eyes have rolled to the back of her head as she fists the sheets. “Thought so.” I smile, knowing I’m the one making her respond like this. And I haven’t even put my mouth on her yet. I spread her legs and pull her panties to the side. I slip a finger inside and feel her tighten around me instantly. She arches her hips, eager to feel me inside deeper. I add a second finger and watch as she jerks her hips faster. I fucking love the way she’s responding, and as much as I’ve tried holding out to taste her, I don’t think I can any longer. Pushing her legs back together, I loop a finger around her panties and slide them down her legs. I make extra effort in tossing them over my shoulder. “You won’t be needing these for a while,” I tell her. “Or this.” I pull her up so I can take her dress off. She looks fucking amazing right now, and I take an extra moment just to admire how breathtaking she is. “So fucking gorgeous, Kayla. Inside and out,” I mutter, pressing her lips to mine before making my way down her body once again. Eager to taste her, I don’t waste any more time and sink my mouth down on her. I push her knees back, diving my tongue inside her as deep as I can. She shivers and shakes against my mouth, and I love every second of it. She tastes so good, better than I could’ve ever imagined. “Fuck, Angel. You taste so goddamn incredible.” I lick my lips and slide two fingers back inside her, making sure to keep her worked up. She’s so tight and wet, I know she’s not too far from coming. Kayla arches her back, forcing my tongue and fingers deeper inside her. Within moments, she’s shaking uncontrollably and screaming out in bursts of inaudible sounds. I don’t slow down though. I make sure to keep going until she begs me to stop. “Fuck, Logan...” she pants, squeezing her hands around my arms. “I-I can’t... oh my God...” I love hearing her at a loss for words on my account. My cock is dying to be inside her, but not just yet. I plan to take my time with her and have my way with her as much as possible. Kayla Sinclair isn’t a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of girl. She’s the forever kind of girl. She tries clenching her thighs together, but I don’t allow it. Pinning them down with my palms, I dive back in between them and lick up her release, moaning over the incredible way she tastes when she comes. “I don’t think I can quit you now,” I confess between sliding my tongue in and out of her. “You taste too fucking good. Now I’m going to want it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and in between.”
“I don’t know that I’ll be able to walk after that,” she teases right back, still holding onto me for support. Her fingers wrap securely around my biceps as I keep her pinned to the bed. “Fine with me. I’m happy keeping you right here.” I smile against her swollen pussy. “In fact, I plan to keep you indefinitely.” She smiles briefly, but it quickly fades once I rotate my fingers back inside her and her head falls back on the bed. I speed up my pace and finger fuck her hard and fast until she’s clenching around me again and screaming out my name. Unable to control the urge to taste the rest of her any longer, I kiss along her stomach and make my way up to her breasts. I pull her bra down and sink my teeth against her taut nipple. She grinds her hips against my erection, letting me know how needy and ready she is—although I already knew that from the beginning. I wrap my arms around her and unclasp her bra. She helps by detangling it from her arms and throws it to the floor. “Fuck,” I groan, adjusting my crotch as I look down at her. I palm her breasts in both hands and squeeze as I bend down and cover her mouth with mine. She moans in delight as she tastes herself on my lips. Wrapping a hand around her neck, I hold her close to me as I devour her mouth and tongue. Everything about her tastes and feels so damn right. I clench my fingers around her breast again and she releases a loud moan in response. “You like that, don’t you? Your breasts grabbed hard,” I inquire, noticing the way she reacts when I get rough with them. “I do,” she tells me. “A lot, actually.” Fuck. I have a feeling Kayla Sinclair is going to test my restraint on a lot of things. Fucking her senseless right now is one of those things. “So how rough are we talking? Since Courtney knows the details, I feel I should, too.” I smirk against her lips. “Nice try, Detective. You’re going to have to find that out for yourself,” she says matter-of-factly, biting on her lower lip. “You’re seriously testing my willpower,” I groan, moving my lips down her jaw and neck. “I don’t want to go too far, Kayla. You need to tell me.” I’ve never had the urge to be rough with someone like I do Kayla, but I need to know her boundaries. I won’t push them without her permission. “You want specifics?” she asks, tilting her neck so I can kiss her. “Yes.” I grind my hips into her, knowing she’ll feel how hard and eager I am. “Tell me.”
“As long as you don’t scream out another girl’s name and eat Cinnamon Red Hots before going down on me, I won’t complain.” She laughs immediately after against my lips and I tilt my head, trying to read her. “Are you serious?” I arch a brow, wondering what idiot would do those things. “I’ve had a few bad dates, okay? I could probably write a book about it. It’d be called How Not to Date in the 21st Century.” I chuckle, biting my lip to stifle the sound but she catches me. “Don’t laugh!” She giggles. “It burned down there for hours afterward.” “Oh my God.” I shake my head in defeat. “I can say without a doubt, I would never do any of those ridiculous things, okay? Now if you tell me to lather you up in hot wax, you’re going to need to talk me through that one.” Her head falls back with laughter and it’s so damn sweet. Nothing has ever felt more right or perfect than it does right now with her. I want more than just sex. Deep down, I always did but never had the courage to allow myself. I was scared to let anyone in after what’s happened in the past, but I won’t be dumb enough to let her go again. When you find a girl who makes you feel normal and wanted again, you grab on tight and you don’t let go. “Now that we have the dos and don'ts in order...” she begins, twisting her body so she can overpower me and push me onto my back. She straddles me and without effort since I gladly give in to whatever she wants. “Let’s settle this donut debate once and for all.” My head falls back with laughter as she crawls down my body and unbuttons my jeans. She struggles with the zipper as my cock strains against it, eager for her to touch me. And be inside her. I fold my arms behind my head and watch in anticipation as she frees my cock. Her eyes zone in on me and she licks her bottom lip as she wraps her fingers around my shaft and begins stroking it. She pulls my shorts and jeans down farther until I can kick them off and she climbs back between my legs. Taking my cock in her hand, she directs it to her mouth and starts sucking while pumping hard and fast. Fuck, she wastes no time at all. Closing my eyes, I moan at the warm sensation of her mouth. Goddamn, she feels good. “Fuck, Angel. Your mouth was made for my cock.” I arch my hips so she takes it even deeper. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I grow even harder as she works me faster. “Jesus Christ, Kayla.” I growl at how good she’s taking all of me into her mouth. So fucking deep and rough. I nearly lose myself and need to pull her away so I can regain my control. “Get on your knees,” I demand, grabbing a fistful of her hair and releasing my cock from her mouth. She’s driving me to the edge and she knows it. She
looks up at me with a knowing smile and slides off the bed. She does as I say and kneels without hesitation and waits for me. I sit up from the bed and stand in front of her so she can take me in her mouth again. She wraps a hand around my shaft and strokes me repeatedly until finally putting me back in her mouth. She sucks and slides her tongue all the way up to the tip, which she pays extra attention to before putting all of me back inside her warm mouth. Jesus. I don’t normally pray at a time like this, but she’s making all kinds of incoherent thoughts run through my head. She works me deep and hard, moaning and rubbing her clit while pleasuring me. Before I lose all control, I stop her. Taking a step back, she releases me from her mouth and quickly wipes her fingers along her lips. She looks fucking amazing like this—on her knees, flushed with swollen lips. I fist my hand in her hair and pull her up. She stumbles briefly, but I catch her just in time to spin her around. I direct her to the bed and bend her over so only her palms are resting on top of the sheets. Standing behind her, I nudge her feet apart and spread her legs. “Are you ready, Angel? Because I’m about to do real heavenly things to you.” She lowers to her elbows, arching her back and opening up for me. Fucking perfect. “I’ve been ready, Detective.” She tilts her head so I see the smirk lining her lips. Smiling in return, I press the tip of my cock against her pussy and slide it up and down her slit, teasing her until I feel her shiver. She moans, giving me permission to continue. Palming her ass cheeks, I slap a hand across one cheek before spreading them and angling myself against her opening. Slowly, I slide inside her and wait for her to adjust before going in any deeper. She’s wet and tight, gripping my cock as I slowly pull back out and push back in. “Fuck, Kayla...” I murmur softly. “You feel so good and I’ve barely felt you yet.” “Don’t stop. Please,” she begs, sliding her hand down to her stomach and circling her fingers along her clit. “I can’t, Angel.” I thrust in deeper and feel her tighten around me once again, her fingers working her clit to the same rhythm. “Fuck.” I smack her ass again, taking her harder and faster as I grip her hips. She pushes her body against mine as we collide together in the most perfect way possible. She feels so fucking good riding my cock, and I already know her little moans are going to be my undoing.
Leaning over, I reach around her waist and palm her breasts. Squeezing hard, I jerk my hips even harder as I take a nipple in between my fingers and pull. “Yes! Oh my God, yes,” she screams, grinding against me even faster as I tug on her nipple again. “Fuck. You like that, don’t you?” I ask in amusement. She replies with an inaudible moan and I take that as my cue to continue. I want to worship her body, but the way she’s worked me up, I’m not sure I can hold back. I feather kisses across her shoulders and drag my teeth down her back as I fuck her uncontrollably. She clamps down on my cock, and I can tell she’s close. Gripping her hips, I thrust as deep as I can and feel her release against me. She screams out her pleasure as she grips the sheets in her fingers, widening her hips so I can prolong her release with my cock deep inside her. “Oh my God,” she whimpers, resting her cheek against the bed. I don’t let her rest for long. Smiling, I fist her hair and pull her head back until my mouth reaches her ear. “That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” I tell her, wrapping my other arm around her waist to hold her up. “You coming on my cock is the only thing I’m ever going to be able to think about now.” “I don’t normally come that fast, but you have one exceptional cock,” she banters, tilting her head back so I can cover her mouth with mine. “Still think you could eat a donut off it?” I arch a brow, sliding my hand down her stomach and rubbing the pad of my thumb over her clit. “I could eat a donut off anything, because I’m classy like that, but I think you’d break a donut in half if I tried to slide it on you, which if it’s a cream-filled one, even better.” Her tone is completely serious, but I know she’s totally messing with me. She can barely keep a straight face. “You’re cute,” I mock. “Now turn around.”
KAYLA Logan Knight is a fucking godsend in and out of the bedroom, but right now, he’s worshipping my body in ways I could only dream about. He spins me around, pushes me down on the bed, kneels in between my thighs and spreads my legs. Sliding back inside me, he takes me again and again. He palms my ass cheeks and drives himself deeper and harder, taking away any coherent thoughts in my brain. Over and over, he thrusts in and out until I come
a second time. It’s a good damn thing he’s holding my legs because they feel so numb I doubt I could walk right now. The way he pulls my hair and nipples has my brain in overdrive. I fucking love when he does that and I only want more the harder he pulls. Once I’ve caught my breath, he swoops me up and lifts me off the bed. Wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, he carries us out of the bedroom. “The shower and kitchen you said, right?” He smirks, remembering what I said earlier. Laughing, I nod. “You got that right.” “Good. Kitchen it is.” He walks us down the hall and I see the dogs are all asleep on the couch. “We’re going to wake the dogs,” I whisper as he steps into the kitchen. “They’ll start barking at us.” Setting me down on the kitchen counter, he flashes a boyish grin at me. “Then you better keep it down.” He slides back inside me and wraps his lips around my nipple while going deeper and harder. I bite down on my lower lip, but I can’t stop the moans that escape my throat. “Shhh...” he reminds me, even though I’m trying. “It’s your fault,” I tease. He arches a brow as if he has a brilliant idea. He shifts my body so I’m angled directly in front of him and I have a leg on each side of him. Placing a hand over my mouth, he begins to thrust faster. “Don’t make a sound,” he tells me, keeping his eyes locked on mine as the pressure of his hand gets firmer. He speeds up his pace, knowing he’s making it harder for me to stay quiet. My hands rest on the counter, keeping me upright as he pounds roughly into me. Thank God for those years I danced in college. I want to scream my damn head off, but I know it’ll alert the dogs. However, it’s really working for me. I can feel my body building up once again. Christ. I can’t remember the last guy that’s ever given me more than one orgasm at a time. Usually because they blow their load right after and it’s as if my pleasure wasn’t a priority. “Kayla...” Logan grabs my attention back. I blink my eyes back to him as I concentrate on keeping my mouth clamped tight. “I can feel you tighten up again, Angel. Let go so I can ride it out with you.” I shake my head no. I know if I do, there’s no way I’ll be able to keep quiet.
Removing his hand, he grips his fingers around my knees and pulls me closer against him. He moves us faster and faster until I’m no longer able to control it. Instead of trying to conceal my voice, he covers his lips with mine, and I scream into his mouth as I feel my walls tighten and he releases inside me. He doesn’t stop until he feels me starting to come down. “Holy fuck,” I whisper. Wrapping a hand around my neck, he pulls me back in and slowly kisses me. He leans his forehead against mine as we both try and catch our breaths. “Holy fuck is right,” he whispers. “That was perfect,” I admit, blushing that the words just spewed out of my mouth. But I feel safe around Logan. Safe and comfortable. He looks me in the eyes, brushing the loose strands of hair off my face and smiles. “So goddamn perfect.”
Once we’ve cleaned up, we end up back in my bedroom and I end up falling asleep on his chest. We talked for a few minutes, but my body and mind were completely defeated and I gave in to the sleep warriors. Feels like I closed my eyes for only a minute before my alarm goes off. Even though I’m going to be dragging ass all day at work, it’ll be a hundred percent worth it. A night with Logan Knight is worth working on only a few hours of sleep. But I am concerned the limp I’m bound to have is going to target me as soon as Lucy notices. Rolling over to shut my alarm off, I notice Logan isn’t in the bed with me. I’m sure he works early today too, but the only reason I get up this early is to walk the dogs. Slowly sitting upright and kicking the covers off me, I feel the ache as soon as I stand. “Fuck,” I mutter, laughing to myself. I tie my hair up, knowing it’s a complete mess and then walk to my closet, grab some clothes, and change before stepping out of my room to look for Logan. I hear the shower running and know he’s still here. Smiling, I walk down to the living room and get an obnoxious greeting from the dogs. “Hey, boys,” I say in a high-pitch tone. “Are you ready for your walk? Yeah? C’mon.” I grab the leashes, slip on my shoes and hook them all up. “Okay, let’s go.”
I’m certain I look like a crazy person walking down the sidewalk right now. I’m smiling like an idiot, with a limp that’s bound to be unattractive, and my head has crazy-sex-hair written all over it. Yet, I don’t have a care in the world. Because not only did I get laid last night, it was with Logan Knight. And he didn’t disappoint one damn bit. Although, I’m pretty sure I’m still in shock from everything that happened last night. I don’t know what this means exactly, or if it means anything at all, but it’s confirmation that our feelings are one hundred percent mutual. I want Logan and he wants me. Now I just need to know if that means the same to him as it does to me. We walk to Donny’s, and I’m greeted with our donut bags, except this time I tell him I need an extra pink frosted with sprinkles on. “Two? Either you’ve decided to increase your carb intake or you have a guest,” he mocks, arching his gray-colored brow at me. “Don’t be so crass, Donny.” I blush, taking the bag from him. “It was an overnight guest, okay?” He smiles. “Well, it’s about time. Rumors about you being a crazy dog lady were in high gear.” I snort, shaking my head. Walking back to the door, I push it open and call over my shoulder, “Goodbye, Donny!” Once the dogs and I are back to the house, I unleash them and set the bag on the kitchen counter. Logan comes stalking in wearing only a towel around his waist. “Mm...a girl could get used to this.” He stands in front of me and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me against his wet chest. “And I could get used to this.” Smiling, he presses a kiss to my lips. “You always look so cute in the morning.” I roll my eyes and smack his hard chest. “Don’t distract me or I’ll end up going to work looking like this.” He bites down on his lower lip as if he’s contemplating it. “Well you could’ve joined me in the shower...” I sigh and frown. “I wish. The dogs aren’t very patient once they know I’m awake.” He kisses the top of my nose. “Well, maybe next time.” He winks and it sends shivers down my spine. “I hate to leave, but I have to take Herman out before I get to the office. I’m going to be buried today.” “Me too,” I groan. “Oh! I brought you a donut.” He follows my eyes that land on the white bag on the counter.
“Seriously?” He laughs. “Well, I didn’t want to be rude and devour one in front of you.” I shrug, grinning. His head falls back in laughter, settling the uneasy feeling I had in my gut about how the morning after with him would be. I don’t need him to formally ask me out, but just something to ease my mind that last night wasn’t one-sided. “Well, I appreciate that. I dig a polite girl.” “I wasn’t sure what your taste was, so I got one cream-filled and one without. Your pick.” He brushes a hand threw his wet hair, nearly choking on his tongue. “Jesus, Kayla. You aren’t going to make leaving you easy, are you?” I stick my lower lip out, pouting that we have to part. He squeezes me, his buff arms engulfing me in a bear hug. “I’ll call you, okay?” Nodding, I tilt my head up and press a soft kiss on his lips. “Okay.”
I walk into work feeling like I could deal with anything that comes my way today. Although I didn’t get a lot of sleep, the adrenaline rushing through me is keeping me awake and energetic. Taking a seat at my desk, I log into my computer and get right to work. I’m already feeling the anxiety creep in from being off work yesterday and trying to keep up with all the emails. “Hey!” Lucy pops her head in, making me jump. My eyes were glued to my screen and I hadn’t even heard her walking down the hall. “Geez, you scared the shit out of me.” I hold a hand to my chest and exhale. “What’s up?” She walks in with a suspicious smile on her face. “Did I see you walking in with a limp this morning?” She cocks a brow, taking a seat across from me. “How’d you see me walk in?” “I was walking behind you in the parking lot and even called your name but you were in your own little world so I figured I’d catch up with you later.” She smiles. “Which is now. So, spill.” I furrow my brows as if I have no idea what she’s talking about. “Spill what?” “Why weren’t you here yesterday...where were you...who you were with...or rather, who you were getting busy with.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re crazy.” “True, but I’m right. You were with someone last night. I can see it all over your face.” Instinctively, I pat my cheeks, wondering if I’m giving myself away. “Ha!” She points at me. “I knew it. Was it Christian? Did you two finally hook up and do the tango between the sheets?” She’s way giddier about this than she should be, so I almost feel bad that I have to tell her I didn’t pursue anything with Christian. “Okay, slow your roll, diva. It wasn’t Christian. We didn’t work out,” I explain. She frowns, but then perks up and asks, “Okay, well, then, who was it?” I purse my lips and look away. “Oh my God! Logan? Was it Logan?” I laugh at her obnoxious behavior and finally tell her. “Yes, okay!” She fist bumps the air and shouts, “I knew it! I knew you two were destined to finally hook up. About damn time.” “It wasn’t planned; it just happened. We’d been spending a lot of time together and that night I had my date with Christian, he showed up at the restaurant and kissed me in the hallway.” “Oh my God...” Her jaw drops. “This is getting good. I should’ve grabbed some popcorn.” I throw my gum wrapper at her and snarl. “I’m not giving you a play by play.” “That’s fine. I only need the highlights. Or CliffsNotes. Mostly, was it big and how many times did you orgasm.” My eyes widen at the blunt words that come out of her mouth. “You seriously need to get a life,” I tease. Once I give Lucy the information she wants, I finally have my office to myself again and finish up another hour of work. At this rate, I’ll be here all night long. I work through my lunch, and shortly after, a soft knock on the door grabs my attention. Looking up, I see a guy with a bouquet of flowers. “Hello?” “Hi, I have a delivery for...” He peeks at the card. “Angel?” My cheeks instantly redden. Oh my God. Thank God Lucy isn’t here to witness this. “Yes, come in,” I direct. He sets them down on my desk and smiles. “Enjoy.” Then walks out.
I know I’m smiling like a fool right now, but I don’t even care. Grabbing for the card, I take a moment to smell the flowers before opening it up. Hope you didn’t eat my donut. I plan to put it to good use tonight ;)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN LOGAN I never intended on Kayla and I moving so quickly. The last time I felt so enamored by someone was when I met Maggie, over a decade ago. Is it possible two people with broken pasts can feel whole again together? Though I’m afraid of fully committing myself, I know I would do anything for her. As I’m driving home from work, I feel my phone vibrate and pull it from my pocket. When I see it’s Maggie, I slightly hesitate then answer. “I just wanted to let you know that I was offered a job at Sacramento General Hospital. They’ve offered me a ten percent pay increase from my current job. They want me to start as soon as possible. I’m about to put in my two-week notice.” The tone of her voice tells me she’s excited. Happiness rushes over me because having Skylar close is more real than ever. “That’s great, Mags. You worked hard for this and deserve it.” I’m genuinely happy for her. “I was going to drive down this weekend and check out a few places and see when we can start moving. This is all happening so fast. I have to admit, I didn’t think it would go so smoothly.” She’s a realist most of the time and doesn’t believe things until it happens. Sometimes I wonder if I was the one who made her so hard. There was a time in our relationship when she wasn’t like that. I pull into my driveway and turn off my car. “There’s a house that would be perfect for you two several blocks from the elementary school. It’s a safe neighborhood. I’ll text you the address.” “Thanks. Do you think you could watch Skylar next weekend so I can go house hunting?” “Absolutely.” I don’t ask to go with her and give her the space she’s requested. I can’t stop smiling thinking about all of this. It seems as if all the jagged pieces of the puzzle have been worn down and now they are able to fit together. “Thanks, Logan. I was hesitant at first and as much as it pains me to say this, I think moving back is the right thing to do. My parents are getting older and are
finding it hard to drive distances and I do want Skylar to have a relationship with you.” “I’ll be around to help you with whatever you need. Just let me know.” Our conversation ends and I can’t hold back the smile that’s filling my face. I can’t help but think about how much stuff really needs to be done to Skylar’s room and the house in general. After I’m inside, I let Herman out and look around and text Kayla letting her know the good news and the deadline. K: I think we can knock it out in a day. Everything I ordered is being delivered tomorrow. I was just about to text you. Weird. L: That’s great news. Have dinner plans this fine Friday night? K: Are you asking me on a date, Detective? L: Babe. Don’t get cocky. K: :) Fineeee. I don’t have plans. L: Meet me at 7. My place? K: I’ll be there after I run home and take out the dogs. I feed Herman and jump in the shower before Kayla comes over. Just as I’m pulling a T-shirt over my head, I hear a knock on the door and walk barefoot to let her in. “Hey,” she says, shyly. I smile and search her face. “Hey. Come in.” “Well, actually, can you help me grab a few things from my car?” I put on my shoes and follow her outside. Her Mustang is stuffed with large framed pictures, blinds, and boxes full of things, not to mention the rug that’s hanging halfway out of her trunk. “Are you moving in?” I joke with her. “Only if you want me too,” she fires back with a sexy little smirk. “Touché.” We have to take a few trips back and forth with all the stuff she brought over. “Okay, explain,” I say. “I had a few things that my other clients didn’t particularly care for.” She laughs. “Okay, a lot of things, but they would be perfect for your living room.”
When we step inside, it’s so hard for me not to pull her into my arms and kiss her, but I don’t want to be overbearing. She notices me watching her so she takes a few steps forward, but then stops when she sees National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation DVD sitting next to the TV. Her eyes widen and she lets out a small chuckle. “I thought we could do a movie and a pizza.” Moments later, she’s wrapping her arms around my waist and I pull her as close as I can to my chest. When she’s in my arms it feels like home and that emotion is foreign to me. With her body pressed against mine, nothing else matters. She pulls away and stands on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “I like cheese pizza,” she says. “Consider it done.” I step away to make the order and when I walk back into the living room, Kayla has her shoes off, her hair tied into a ponytail and she’s busy replacing curtains with blinds and already hung a few pictures. “Wow,” I say. “I know right. Just those few window treatments made a huge difference.” Her hands are on her hips and I can tell she’s proud of what she’s done so far. “I was talking about you. You’re beautiful.” She looks over at me, a hint of blush hitting her cheeks. I move closer to her, her breath hitching, chest rising and falling, and our lips crash together. She runs her fingers through my hair and our lips are so ravenous for the others that I almost forget to breathe. We fall on the couch and I brace myself, hovering above her, both breathing heavily when a knock on the door echoes through the house. “Fuck,” I whisper and she pulls me down to her lips again. She’s addictive and all encapsulating and the only thing that pulls me away is the annoyed knock that seems to be getting louder. I stand up and adjust myself then head to the door. The kid with the pizza is already walking down the sidewalk back to his car, and I have to speak up to grab his attention. He looks at me, and I can tell he’s holding back an eyeroll. Teenagers. I walk inside and grab two plates and paper towels for us. “Want to start the movie?” I ask, placing the box of pizza on the coffee table and hand her a plate and paper towel. “Of course,” Kayla says. Herman watches every bite we take. Once we’re done eating, I flick off the light and hold Kayla in my arms as we watch Chevy Chase make an ass out of himself. “This Christmas, I want to decorate my house like that.” I laugh.
“Don’t even joke. I’ll be hanging up lights by Halloween.” “Deal,” I whisper in her ear and can feel goose bumps race down her arm. Once the movie is over, she looks over at the stuff we carried in earlier. “What are your plans tomorrow?” “I should be asking you that question considering you usually volunteer on Saturdays.” “Well I have this client I have to help who is under a really tight deadline so I think that’s going to take up most of my day.” She winks at me. “Hope your client isn’t a hard-ass,” I quip. “Oh, he totally is, most of the time.” She checks her phone and hours have passed though it feels like she just arrived. Kayla starts to yawn and I can tell she's exhausted. She goes and goes, never giving herself time to rest. “It’s been a long day. I should get home to the boys. They’re probably going crazy right now.” She looks at me and I want to ask her to stay. I want to hold her in my arms until she falls asleep. “Understandable. Let me walk you out.” She gives me a sweet smile and I follow her to her car. We hesitate outside, like it’s our first date, but it passes quickly because I grab her face in my hands and place a sweet kiss on her lips. She sighs against my mouth before we pull away. “Thanks for the wonderful night,” Kayla says leaning against her car, smiling. “Always, Angel.”
KAYLA It’s bright and early on Saturday, and as I’m washing dogs at the shelter, all I can think about is Logan’s soft lips pressed against mine. He’s somehow stolen my thoughts and replaced them with him. Though, it’s not anything new really, but now that we’ve moved to the next step, I’ve been more confused about us. What are we exactly? What are we doing? I haven’t gotten the courage to ask, and while I’m not complaining, I don’t want to be a side project. After I finish my duties, I run home and take a quick shower, throw my hair into a ponytail, and put on some yoga pants and a T-shirt. Finishing Skylar’s room is possible, but we still need to paint the accent wall so that has to be done first. After I take my dogs for another quick walk and feed them some treats, I head over to Logan’s. Butterflies swarm my belly and I’m so anxious to see him. Each time we’re together, it’s better than the last. So far, it’s been more than I could have ever dreamed of.
I pull into the driveway and can hear the music blaring from inside his house. I knock on the door and he doesn’t answer so I just walk in. The rug is spread across the floor and different pictures are hung. Each of the boxes that I brought over last night are empty, and I’m shocked he placed everything so perfectly. “Holy shit,” he says with pink paint on his shirt. “You startled me.” “Sorry, I knocked but...” “My jams were blaring.” He laughs. “You started painting without me!” I say, motioning toward the paint on his shirt. “I thought I’d get an early start. Come see.” He reaches his hand out and takes mine then practically drags me to Skylar’s room. I walk past mattresses leaning against the wall in the hallway and other random pieces of furniture. “Head start? You’re basically finished except for the final touches.” The room is painted and the furniture that was delivered to his house early this morning is already put together. “You make my job easy, Knight.” I joke with him. “You’ve done a really great job.” “The paint was fast drying. I started at around six this morning so it should be almost completely dry by now. All it needs is your magic touch.” I lift an eyebrow at him and I feel heat rush to my cheeks by the way he’s staring at me. “This whole dad thing kinda works for you. You know that?” “Kinda?” He asks taking a few steps toward me, his tongue swipes across his bottom lip. “Me being here today is strictly professional, Mr. Knight.” I remind him of the day I agreed to take on this project. He holds his hands up and chuckles. “Okay, okay then. Don’t make me have to remind you of that later.” I place my hands on my hips. “Oh, really? Do you want to make a bet?” “I’m not a betting man, but it’s one I’d be more than willing to take,” he says slyly, holding out his hand to shake on it and I do, but by the way he’s already studying my lips, I know I’m doomed. I place my finger on the wall to see if it’s dry, and it is, which is perfect. “Okay boss, tell me what you need me to do,” Logan says, taking off his shirt and throwing it on the floor. His pants hang haphazardly on his hips, and I can’t help but notice his abs and that perfect V. “Holy shit,” I say under my breath. “You’re totally trying to make me crack!”
He acts as if he doesn’t know what I’m talking about, and I roll my eyes which only causes him to laugh. “Let’s move the bed against this wall. We’ll place the book shelves right there and the reading nook there. We can start hanging the photographs and wooden silhouettes of dancers I had made. Did you see a pink shaggy rug?” Logan lifts his eyebrows. “Sorry, I tend to go ninety to nothing when doing this stuff.” We move the bed against the wall and place all the furniture in its place. The rest of the items are in boxes in the hallways and we begin to unpack them. I handpicked toys and children's books, along with a large assortment of Crayons and coloring books. As Logan hangs the large cutouts of ballerinas on the wall, I make her bed, lay out the large pink furry rug and arrange all the stuffed animals in the storage holder. Hours pass, and when we’ve finally hung the canopy from the ceiling and everything is in place, I cover my mouth with my hands because even I’m amazed. It’s fit for a little princess. Logan stands at the doorway and I can tell he’s holding back. “It looks like it was ripped straight out of a magazine. It’s perfect for my little girl,” Logan says, the smile on his face tells me everything I need to know. “Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Knight,” I say holding out my hand. He looks down at it and shakes his head. “Fuck this,” he says, pulling me into him, taking my mouth and tongue and claiming them as his own. “God, I need you,” I say against his mouth, feeling his hardness press against my stomach. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need you, too.” His fingers brush up my shirt and up my stomach until my shirt is on the floor into a crumpled pile. I fidget with the top button of his pants until they fall to the floor. Logan’s mouth is all encapsulating and my body instantly responds to his touch. At this moment, I can’t think about anything but him as he unclasps my bra and places my nipple in his mouth. His tongue twirls around my hard peak as his hands memorize my body. With his strong arms, he lifts my body and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. Logan carries me to his bedroom and lays me down across his bed. Fire and passion fills his eyes as he studies my body. No one has ever looked at me the way he does, like I’m everything. After another moment, Logan comes to me, and when our lips connect, it feels as if something I lost had been found. His mouth trails down my neck, gives extra attention to my breasts, before kissing a path down my stomach. My breathing increases and just as he hooks his fingers in my yoga pants, a knock is heard on the door.
“Ignore it,” Logan says, giving me a sexy little smile before he kisses the inside of my thigh. But the knocking doesn’t stop.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN LOGAN Kayla sits up on her elbows and her eyes are wide. “Maybe you should answer it? What if it’s an emergency or something?” “Fuck.” I’m annoyed. I hurry and pull some clothes out of a drawer and close the bedroom door behind me. Honestly, what the hell is so important at four in the afternoon? I open the front door and I’m shocked when I see Maggie standing in front of me. “Oh, hey,” I say, stepping outside, barefoot. “Is it a bad time?” she asks. I don’t answer, because the truth is not something I want to explain to her right now. I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up, and I’m not sure what her reaction would be. Some words are better left unsaid, which I learned a long time ago. “Right. My boss gave me today off so I thought I would look at houses sooner than next weekend. My parents took Skylar to the pool so I have some extra time.” I cross my arms across my chest, still not sure why she’s here, exactly. I’ve never been her backup plan for anything, not since we separated at least. She doesn’t ask me to join her though, so I’m curious as to what she wants. Maggie looks over her shoulder at the Mustang sitting in the driveway and I know she wants to ask me who it belongs to, but doesn’t. “Clearly, I came at a bad time, but I looked at the house by the elementary school that you recommended. I just wanted to let you know.” She pulls a key out of her pocket and dangles it in the air. Happiness exudes from her, and it genuinely makes me happy, too, because everything is finally falling into place after six years of it being a tug of war. Plus, that means Skylar will be less than ten minutes away from me always. “That’s great. When can you start moving in?” I ask, leaning against the door. “Next weekend. Is it okay if Skylar stays with you like we discussed?”
I nod. “Her room should be ready by then.” “Perfect. Well. I guess I’ll let you get back to your business. Sorry for stopping by unannounced.” There are things I want to say, but I refrain. “No problem. I’ll see you next weekend.” Maggie gives me a smile before walking away, and I can see a pep in her step as she walks to her car. I wave to her as she backs out of the driveway. Letting out a sigh of relief, I walk back inside the house and see Kayla fully dressed sitting on the couch. “Hey,” I say. She’s not upset, but she’s not where I left her. “Logan. Are you sure you’re up for this?” I sit next to her on the couch. “What do you mean, this? You?” She nods. “Angel.” I brush my thumb across her cheek and force her to look into my eyes. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this—for someone like you?” She swallows hard, sucks her lips into her mouth, and shakes her head. “Years,” I say truthfully. “Too fucking long. I never thought I’d be in a relationship again, but spending time with you has shown me how much I’ve been missing with you. The first day I met you, I knew you were special. Your hair was up off your shoulders and you had that red lip classic look going. You were so sweet and kind and beautiful. I knew then I was a goner. It was just a matter of time.” “That’s when I knew you were trouble,” she laughs. Her big brown eyes meet mine and she steals my breath because she’s so damn beautiful in a natural way, without even trying. “Drug addicts keep drugs at a distance because they’re weak and have no self-control. You have always been my drug, Kayla Sinclair. You’re so fucking addicting,” I say. “I just don’t want you to feel like you’re rushing into things with me. If you’re not ready to–” I take her face in my hands and kiss the fuck out of her and she sinks into me. “I can’t imagine you being with anyone else. I don’t want you to be with anyone else but me. You’re mine, Kayla. You never have to be alone again.” She places her hand over her swollen lips and a single tear streams down her face. I wipe it away. “Please, no tears, Angel.” “I promise no more tears. But we should finish the rest of the house before taking any breaks.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“Fine, but then you’re all mine.” “Deal.”
Every time I walk into my house, I’m blown away by the transformation. The difference is day and night and I will forever be thankful for all the hard work and planning Kayla put into making this space a home. It’s completely opposite from the sterile hospital vibe I had going on before. Every day since Saturday we’ve talked and texted and had dinner a few times. I’ve been putting in extra effort and even built Skylar a swing and slide set that’s now in the backyard. She’s going to be so excited and I can’t wait to see happiness radiate from her. Friday night Kayla comes over and we do pizza and a movie, which is quickly becoming one of our traditions. This time we watched Elf with Will Ferrell and I laughed my ass off. It might be one of my favorite Christmas movies now. I wake up Saturday looking forward to the day. After Kayla and I grab a quick lunch, I head home, and soon afterward Maggie pulls up. She walks Skylar to the door and I bend down and give her a hug. “Hey, baby. I’m so happy you’re here.” “Me too, Daddy! It’s going to be fun!” Skylar turns and gives Maggie a hug then goes inside. I can hear her talking to Herman and it warms my heart. They’ve already become friends, I’m sure of it. “We’re going to try to get everything situated this weekend. The movers have already delivered everything; my parents are helping me put it all up. If anything happens, please call me, okay?” “You know I will.” I hate how she insinuates that something will happen when Skylar is with me. I understand why she acts like that, but I’ve returned Skylar to her without a scratch for years. It’s frustrating. Maggie walks away and I shut the door. Skylar is on the floor and Herman is licking her to death as she giggles. “That’s Herman. He’s our dog.” Her face lights up and she hugs his neck. He’s eating up all the attention and his tail hasn’t stopped wagging since Skylar arrived. “Daddy, this is where you live?” She stands up and walks around. “I like it here.” I grab her hand and lead her down the hallway. Her backpack is swung over her arm. On the door, Kayla had Skylar’s name placed in glitter letters.
“That’s my name!” “It sure is. Go ahead, go inside.” Skylar turns the doorknob and she screams when she sees the pink and purple room, the rug, the bed, and all the toys and books. She goes to the stuffed animals and starts pulling them down. “This is mine, Daddy?” “Yes, baby. It’s all yours. This is your room when you stay with me, which will be a lot more often now.” She runs to me and tries to wrap her arms around my legs to hug me. I bend down and pull her into my arms. “I love you, baby.” “I love you too, Daddy. I love this room, too.” “That’s great! Now, one more thing I have to show you.” Skylar follows me through the house and Herman falls in line beside us. I slide open the patio door and Skylar takes off running toward the swing set. Herman runs around the yard as Skylar chases him. The two of them run so much they wear each other out in a matter of thirty minutes. Happiness fills my heart. This is what I’ve always wanted, a place where my daughter can play and stay with me, another place she can feel at home, and it’s all because of Kayla.
KAYLA I want to call Logan and see how it’s going but I also want to give him his space. I seriously cannot wait to find out how Skylar liked her room. It was one of the most fun remodels I’ve had, mainly because the parent didn’t ask for Gucci and Louis Vuitton curtains, towels, and bed spreads. If I have to do one more remodel for a spoiled trust fund kid, I might scream. Keeping myself busy, I spend most of Sunday cleaning and washing the dogs because they got into something in the backyard and smelled like trash. After everything is tidy and the dogs are clean, I decide to take a shower. Just as the water rushes over my body, the shower curtain moves and I see Logan’s face. My heart races because he scared me to death. “What the hell!” I say, with my hand over my heart. “You have to warn a girl.” “I said your name five different times and texted you that I was on my way. But honestly, I can’t complain at the view I’m getting right now.” “Then why don’t you join me, Detective?” “You did mention the shower before,” he says in a husky voice, stepping inside, already hard. I take a ragged breath as the water runs over me and just
like that our hands are roaming each other’s bodies. His lips circle my ear, slide down my neck, stomach, and continues until he’s on his knees. “I have to taste you,” he says lifting my leg and placing it over his shoulder, flicking his tongue against my clit. I sync into him as he devours me, going fast and slow, creating a rhythm with his mouth that my body almost can’t handle. I throw my head back, steadying myself against the wall when he places a finger inside. The build happens quickly in the pit of my stomach, but he doesn’t allow me to succumb to the impending orgasm. “So greedy,” he growls as he stands and turns me around so my eyes are facing the wall. His hands touch every part of my body and I lean my back into his chest, allowing the beads of water to pound against my breasts. Logan takes both of my hands in his and presses them against the wall, then grabs my hips and pulls me back toward him. I raise my ass in the air, and he circles my opening with his hard cock. I’ve completely given into him, heart, body, and soul, and I stand on edge, waiting to feel him deep inside and make me whole again. My body begs for him and my frustration is evident as he teases me to the extreme. “Tell me what you want, Angel.” I look at him over my shoulder. “I want you to break me.” “I don’t come with a warning, Angel. Maybe I should.” Logan bites his lip before he pushes deep inside me and I feel like I really might break in two. I moan out in relief as he slides completely out and takes me again. His fingers dig deep into my hips and I try to take control but he doesn’t allow me too, which turns me on even more. Logan takes it slow, and with each thrust I moan out, begging for more. “You don’t have to beg me, ever. I’m going to make you come so fucking hard, but when I want you to,” he whispers in my ear as I pant for relief. My body shudders wanting every inch of him. Even when I have him, it doesn’t ever feel like enough. Logan grabs my ass then reaches around and places pressure on my clit, making me lose myself completely on his dick. As my body releases, he grabs hold of me, and tenses. “Kayla, I’m about to—.” I buckle beneath him, finally able to take control as he loses himself. I turn around and he places his head on my shoulder, trying to catch his breath. “What are you doing to me?” he asks, kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear. All I can do is smile because I know exactly what he’s talking about. Logan takes the bar of soap in his hands and proceeds to wash my entire body. He massages my muscles, and I watch as soap suds trail down my body and splash on the floor. I return the favor and wash him as well. My hands trail over his
muscles and I pay extra attention to his perfect ass, playfully taking handfuls of it. Once the water turns cold, we get out of the shower and dry off. I can’t stop looking at him. He’s perfection and though it’s still odd, he’s mine. I keep waiting to wake up from this fantasy, because for so long, he’s all I’ve ever wanted, exactly like this. Logan puts his clothes back on and kisses my forehead before we walk out of the bathroom. “Addicting,” he says following me into my bedroom. “I’m ready for round two.” “Already?” I laugh. He looks down and he’s hard as a rock and I’m not complaining. Hell no. Soon he’s taking off his clothes and we go for a quickie. Afterward, I lay in bed comfortable in Logan’s arms and I don’t even want to get up. My body is revolting against everything but him, a sensation I can’t recall ever having with anyone else. He’s already stolen my heart. What am I talking about? He stole it a long time ago. “Have you eaten dinner yet?” he asks giving me a quick smack on the lips. “Do you count as dinner, because if so...” “Want to do takeout or go out? I owe you big time.” I laugh and sit up, my face close to his. “For what?” “For the smile on my little girl’s face when she saw her room. She cried when she had to leave today. And that trundle bed was perfect for Herman. He didn’t let her out of his sight the entire time she was at the house. They’re the best of pals.” I can’t hide the smile on my face. “Aww. this makes me so happy. I’m glad it worked out, and I can’t believe she cried.” Logan pulls me on top of him, until my face is hovering above his. “Let’s go out tonight. What are you in the mood for?” I smile against his lips. “What about seafood?” “Perfect.” I climb over him and put on a sundress that hangs off my shoulders and leave my hair down. Logan gets up and takes the dogs out while I finish getting ready. Soon, we’re leaving and heading toward The Boiling Point, a quaint restaurant downtown. The drive over I feel nervous. We haven’t really gone out in public together, like on a date. It’s all very new to me. As we continue down the road, Logan grabs my hand and interlocks his fingers with mine and it feels comfortable and right. We chat about Skylar and I love the way his face lights up when he mentions her to me. He’s carefree and happy and though his guard isn’t completely down, I’m okay with where we are.
We walk in holding hands and sit in a booth toward the back of the restaurant. It doesn’t take long before we order our food and it’s even quicker coming out. We eat and drink and have a wonderful time with each other. Throughout the night we exchange glances and smiles and my heart is so full by the time we leave, that I can’t stop smiling. “What?” he asks when we’re outside walking toward the car. “Nothing.” I shake my head. “It’s just, it felt like a real date. One I wasn’t trying to run from or hide in the bathroom. I didn’t have to find an excuse to leave or hope some Knight in shining armor would rescue me.” “It was a real date; the first of many, many more.” Logan opens my door and while he walks around, I pull out my phone and text Courtney quick, double checking that it’s really Courtney I’m about to text. K: Just went on an “official” date with Logan. C: OMFG. YES. FINALLY! TELL ME EVERYTHING WHEN YOU HAVE TIME! CATCH ME UP! K: I know. I’ll text you about it tomorrow and fill you in. There’s so much to talk about. Also, don’t forget about my annual Christmas in July Ugly Sweater party coming up. You better be coming! C: You know I’m there! Gotta run! Love you! As soon as Logan starts the car, I burst out laughing. “Do I even want to know?” He gives me a side glance as we travel back toward the house. “Just thinking about the party. Want to wear matching ugly sweaters?” I ask, just testing him. “If you’d like me to, I will. Just for you though.” “Seriously? I was just kidding, but now...” Logan looks over at me with raised eyebrows. “Don’t make me spank you for that.” “I might like it though.” I lick my lips and wink at him. Soon we’re pulling up to my house and we sit in the driveway for a moment. “Logan.” I turn my body so I’m practically facing him. “Will you stay with me tonight?” He pretends like he’s thinking about it then smiles. “You must really want that spanking now.”
I lean over until my lips are so close to his that I can feel his breath brush against my skin. “I’ll take that as a yes.” And that’s all it takes for him to nod. We walk inside and I let the dogs out. I watch them for a moment as they run around the backyard chasing each other and hope they settle down before coming in; otherwise, Logan will have to hear me yell at them all night for being rowdy. The three of them come running inside. Adam grabs a squeeze toy and squeezes it until my brain feels like it’s going to explode as Kristoff and Philip fight over a rope toy. They’re in a feisty mood tonight. Logan and I sit on the couch and I can’t stop yawning. It’s been a long day full of activities and I’m exhausted. I’m sure the glass of wine I had at dinner didn’t help. “Want to go to bed?” I look up at him with pleading eyes. “Sure.” I turn off everything and the boys come running toward the bedroom. They jump on the bed, leaving no room for Logan and he stands there waiting. “Apparently, they don’t like sharing you either,” he jokes, moving Kristoff out of the way. I laugh because it's so true. Logan pulls me into his arm and I inhale his scent. One I've already grown accustomed too. “Goodnight. Thank you for a wonderful night.” “Always.” Logan leans down and kisses me so soft and sweet that I let out an audible sigh before slowly drifting off to sleep. “Goodnight, Angel.” With the sun blaring through the window and waking me up, I realize I forgot to put on my sleeping mask. I roll over and reach for Logan but the bed is empty, again. I suck in a deep breath and can smell fresh coffee brewing. I get out of bed just as Logan is delivering a hot steaming cup to me. “Coffee,” I grumble. “My lifeblood.” He chuckles and kisses me. “Did you sleep okay?” I glance over at the clock and I’m earlier than usual on a Monday morning. “I usually do when you’re in my bed.” I stretch and start slipping on some clothes so I’m halfway decent. “I need to walk the dogs before work.” “I already fed them and let them outside. I’ve got plenty of time this morning so I’ll join you.” I grab the leashes and Logan snaps them on the dogs and takes all three. “Careful, they will drag you straight to Donny’s. They’re workhorses in the morning. Amped and ready to go,” I warn with a smirk.
He thinks I’m joking until his arm is basically pulled out of socket because they are rearing to go. By the time we make it to Donny’s I’ve laughed so hard my stomach hurts. We walk in and my dogs act like they own the place, with their paws on the counter and their tongues hanging out, waiting for Donny to feed them their morning treat. As soon as he sees me with Logan his eyes light up. “Good morning! The usual?” “Actually, we’d like to get two cream filled donuts today. I’m in the mood.” I glance over at Logan and he smirks. “Oh, and this is Logan, my boyfriend,” I add. Logan doesn’t even flinch at the word; instead, he smiles. It’s the first time either of us has ever used titles out loud. Donny is so thrilled that he comes around the counter and shakes Logan’s free hand. “Kayla is such a catch. Don’t ever let her go.” “I don’t plan on it.” He gives Donny a genuine smile. Before we leave, I turn around and mouth, Thank you to Donny. He winks and shoots me a thumbs up. “Do you want me to take over?” I ask with a smile, knowing they’re wearing him out. “I honestly don’t know how you handle these behemoths every morning,” he says just as the three of them see a squirrel by the fence line. I move the arm of my shirt and flex. “Because I bring the guns.” Logan wraps his arm around me as we walk up the sidewalk to my house. “You’re so damn cute.” Once we’re inside, I go through my morning routine of getting ready while I eat my donut. Logan kisses me goodbye and before he leaves I hand him the bag with the other donut in it with a wink. He pops an eyebrow, instantly getting the reference, and I don’t think it’s a memory we’ll be forgetting anytime soon.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN LOGAN “You can’t be serious?” I ask Kayla as soon as she holds up the sweater she bought for us. “It looks like Buddy the elf vomited all over it with his obnoxious Christmas spirit.” “Hey now.” She points her finger at me and tries to hide the smirk forming on her lips. “No bad talking Buddy. He’s legit.” Sitting on her bed, I tilt my head back and laugh. “I’m sure he is. But does that mean I have to wear that?” I arch a brow, hoping she changes her mind. Instead, she sticks out her lower lip and pouts. “But you said we could wear matching sweaters,” she reminds me, giving me her best sad puppy eyes. Groaning, I brush a hand over my face and give in. “Okay, fine.” I grab her hand and pull her over by me. I grab the sweaters out of her other hand and toss them behind us as she straddles my lap. “On one condition,” I say as she grinds her hips against me. “No pictures.” She tilts her head and narrows her eyes at me as if I said something completely crazy. “I’m not agreeing to that.” “Okay, then just no pictures of me.” I chuckle. “Stop!” She laughs. “Don’t you want to get at least one of us so we can put it in one of your empty frames?” She smiles up at me and it’s the cutest thing ever. Damn her. She knows just how to work me to get what she wants. But I can’t even complain about it because I love giving her what she wants anyway. “You got me there. Fine.” She smiles and crashes her lips to mine. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly against my chest. My hands slide to the edge of her shirt and start riding up her back until I feel her bra strap. Just as I’m about to unclasp it, she stops me. “I don’t think so, mister.” She swats my hands away. “We have a party to get ready for.” “Not even a little?” I whine, pretending to pout.
She places both hands on my cheeks and pecks my lips briefly. “No time, but if you play your cards right, I might let you take a bath with me later.” She flashes a wink and a smirk that drives me insane. “Okay, deal.”
We spend the afternoon setting up, getting Christmas lights, her mini-sized tree, and decorations all placed. It feels completely weird considering it’s hot and sunny outside right now, but I love seeing Kayla happy. She’s beaming from ear to ear right now, and I’d do anything to see that look on her face. “What else needs to be done?” I ask her. “Popcorn garland and mistletoe?” I tease. “Funny, but no. Well, possibly mistletoe.” She grins. “But I have another bin in my garage. Can you go grab it for me please? It’s green and has XMAS DECOR written on the outside.” “Almost every bin in your garage has Christmas written on it,” I mock, dodging out of the way at her attempt to swat my chest. “Kidding! I’ll go grab it.” I flash a smile in her direction and she shakes her head at me. As I shuffle the bins around, I see the one she’s after and accidentally knock over a box in the crossfire. “Shit.” The bins are all stacked on top of each other, and even though I was trying to be careful, one tipped over. Expecting to see more decorations or items she put away in storage, I’m completely shocked when I see files inside. I check the outside of the box where it reads SOCIAL SERVICES PAPERS. I know about Kayla’s upbringing, although she doesn’t seem to like to talk about it very much. She’s told me about being in foster homes all her life, which is the ultimate reason behind her traditional Christmas in July parties. As I begin collecting the files that have fallen out, I stop when one titled ADOPTION catches my attention. Kayla never got adopted by a family, which is why she was on her own after she graduated high school and ultimately was left to fend for herself. The way she told it, she didn’t get along with her foster parents but stuck it out until she could leave for college. Knowing I shouldn’t snoop through her personal files, I collect the rest of the papers that fell out of the box. Before I place the lid back on, I hesitate and stare at the file. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I grab the file back out and open it up.
I don’t quite understand what I’m looking at as I browse quick over the documents, but I stop as soon as I read the line, BIOLOGICAL MOTHER: KAYLA SINCLAIR. Blinking over and over, I refuse to believe I’m reading this right. I continue reading and finally understand what I’m looking at. I hear the door to the garage open and quickly shuffle everything back in the box and push it out of the way. Standing up, I grab the Christmas bin and spin around to Kayla walking toward me. “You find it okay?” “Yup.” I plaster on a smile. “Was just coming out.” “Oh, perfect. We have to make a run to the store still. I need ice, soda, beer, and wine.” “Okay, no problem.” We walk out of the garage together, but I feel completely uneasy about what I just found. Conflicted on whether to mention it to her, I know it probably wouldn’t end well. If she had wanted me to know, she would’ve told me. If I bring it up and ask her about it, she’ll get upset I looked through her stuff. Either way, I’m starting to realize there’s still so much I don’t know about Kayla and stuff she doesn’t know about me. I can only hope one day she feels safe telling me the truth, and even though I’ve never felt more comfortable being with someone before, there’s something I’ve yet to reveal to her that I had hoped to keep to myself. However, the longer we’re together and I don’t tell her, the harder it is going to be to come clean.
A few hours later, the house is complete with decorations, the kitchen is filled with drinks and snacks, the dogs are asleep in her room, and Kayla and I are ready to get in our matching sweaters. She’s a bit more excited about that part than I am, but hey, I’m trying. Kayla’s been schooling me on some of the other guests she’s invited. A few girls she works with, a couple from college that still live in the area, and, of course, our mutual friends. She told me to invite some buddies of mine from work, but I don’t want to blur the lines of my professional life with my personal life. At least not if I don’t have to. “You two look so stinking cute, it’s disgusting.” The first words that come out of Courtney’s mouth, not that anyone should be surprised.
Kayla greets her with a hug and smile. Courtney and Drew are the first to arrive. He holds up a six-pack as a silent greeting and I motion for him to follow me into the kitchen. “Been awhile since I’ve seen you, man. Courtney been holding you up?” I tease since they’ve only been married since March, and I haven’t seen much of him. “You could say that.” He grins while taking a pull of his beer. “She jumps on me every chance she gets. I barely walk in the door and my pants are already off.” I laugh, happy that Drew found a great girl like Courtney. They’re a perfect match and it’s evident in the way they look at one another. “Excuse me, mister.” Courtney comes strolling in, obviously hearing the entire conversation. “I can’t even get dressed in the morning without him clawing them off like a wild animal.” Kayla and I both laugh. She’s standing next to Courtney and I hear her offering her a drink. “No, thanks. I’m not drinking.” Kayla zeroes in on Courtney and gives her a weird look. “What?” Courtney asks. “Are you pregnant?” Kayla asks. Drew’s face goes pale and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing. “No, no!” Courtney’s quick to correct. “I’m just taking early precaution and making sure I don’t drink and take my prenatal vitamins and all that. You don’t know you’re pregnant for at least two weeks, so I don’t want to take any chances. Just in case, you know?” “Oh, got it. Well, it’s only been four months. I’m sure you two are enjoying trying though.” Kayla smirks. “Speaking of which,” Courtney scowls at Drew. “You’re not supposed to be drinking either. You told me that pack was for Logan.” “But it’s a party, Court.” He tries defending himself. “Just one, I swear.” She groans and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” She tries being serious but soon busts out laughing. “That’s going to cost you, by the way.” “Cost what? I’m already putting out twice a day,” Drew blurts out and Courtney’s eyes bug out. Kayla is dying laughing and as if on cue, the doorbell rings. “I’m going to go answer that,” she says, backing away. “I’ll come with you,” I tell her, needing an out of this awkward conversation. “Aren’t you glad we have the best kind of friends?” Kayla quips as I wrap my arm around her and guide her to the front door.
“Even more so since that’s how we met in the first place.” I wink at her as she reaches for the door. She smiles. “True.” It’s Travis and Viola minus their tribe. They must’ve found a sitter for tonight after all. “Hey!” They all scream at the same time. We greet them and lead them inside. Right behind them comes another couple of people. “Oh, I want you to meet Lucy and Rochelle. The girls I work with.” We stand at the door and wait for them to walk up the sidewalk. They both charge at Kayla and give her obnoxious bear hugs. “So, you’re the one with the big—” “Lucy!” Kayla shouts at her before she can finish. “What?” She throws her hands up. “I was going to say big heart. Geez. Get your mind out of the gutter,” she teases with a cheeky smile. “For taking in Herman,” she adds to her explanation. “Yeah, okay. Let’s get you inside with a plate of food so you can’t talk anymore.” Kayla grabs her hand and leads her two friends inside. I watch as she introduces them to Courtney and Viola and decide to go stand by Travis and Drew. “So, what’s this I hear about you being pussy whipped?” Travis blurts out, making me nearly choke on my beer. “Dude,” Drew snickers. Travis points to my sweater with his beer and raises his brows. “I know I’m pussy whipped, but that’s after being married and three kids. You’re still in the new relationship phase. You’re supposed to cover your balls for another few months at least before you hand them over.” I shake my head at him. “You’re such a prick.” Drew and I laugh. A few more of Kayla’s friends come, and even after introducing them to me, I don’t remember their names, but they seem nice enough so I just smile and say hello. I can see she’s busy talking with her girlfriends in the kitchen, but I can’t stop staring at her. I want to grab her and keep her all to myself. Kayla has Christmas music playing in the background and when All I Want For Christmas is You comes on, I decide to stalk over and interrupt their little powwow. Grabbing her hand, I spin her around and lead her to the doorway. I dip her in my arms and press my lips to hers directly under the mistletoe. I can hear her friends hooting and hollering around us and Kayla eventually breaks the kiss with her laughter. We stand back up and Kayla giggles again. “Guess that was one way to mark your first public event as a couple?” Viola says loud enough for everyone to hear.
I don’t care though. I stare into Kayla’s eyes and smile. “First of many.”
KAYLA By the time everyone leaves, I’m completely feeling the effects of the alcohol. Logan was such a great cohost even though he pretends it was all my doing. “We can clean up tomorrow,” I tell him as I lean against the doorway. “Are you sure?” “Yeah. Let’s take the dogs out and go to bed.” He smiles at the buzzed look in my eyes. “Okay. I’ll let them out. Let’s get you in bed.” “I’m fine,” I lie. “Yeah, and I’m Thor. C’mon.” He grabs my hand and leads me down the hallway. “Oh, Chris Hemsworth.” I chuckle. “Don’t tease me.” He laughs. “I’ll be Thor. You be Jane.” “As long as you wear my face like a hat, I’m down to be anyone you want.” “Jesus, Kayla.” He shakes his head at me and I watch as he adjusts his crotch. “You can’t say things like that when I’m really tempted to do just that.” “I’m not stopping you, Detective...” I taunt as I open my bedroom door and all three dogs come barreling out. “Well, I am. You’ve been drinking,” he states in a serious tone. “Lemonade,” I counter. “Vodka Lemonade,” he reminds me, and I roll my eyes at him being so technical as he motions for me to step in. “I’ll take the dogs out. You get in bed and I’ll meet you there.” “You got it, Thor.” I watch as the dogs follow him down the hall and start getting undressed. I strip down to my bra and panties before slipping under the covers. I grab my sleep mask and wrap it around my head and wait for Logan and the dogs to return. My eyelids feel heavy, so I succumb to sleep, knowing the lemonade —vodka—is taking over. The sun shining through my window startles me awake and makes me realize I forgot to pull my mask over my eyes. Annoyed, I look over to check the time when I realize that Logan isn’t in the bed with me. Kristoff is sleeping at the end of the bed and Adam and Philip are both sleeping on the floor, so he’s not taking
them out. Blinking, I finally clear my vision enough to see that it’s just after six o’clock in the morning. Where the hell would he be? Almost every time we slept in the same bed together, I’ve woken up to him not being in the bed. He was either in the shower or taking Herman out or making breakfast. But considering it’s Sunday, there’s no reason for him to be up this early doing any of those things. Kristoff feels me waking up and takes it upon himself to wake up the other two. “You bastard,” I mutter, groaning, but unable to stay mad for long. He nudges his nose in my face and licks my cheek. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” I grab my silk robe from the back of my door and slip it on. They’re anxious to go on their walk, but I want to look for Logan first. I find him in the living room sleeping on the couch. He’s using the small couch blanket, which barely covers up to his waist. Admiring the view of him shirtless for only a moment, I tiptoe to the couch so I don’t startle him, but Philip comes up behind me and jumps on top of the couch next to him. “Philip!” I whisper-hiss, but it’s too late. Logan’s already woken up. “Shit, sorry!” I snap my fingers at Philip and tell him to get down. “I came out looking for you. What are you doing out here?” He blinks a few times before he sits up and brushes his palms over his face. “I couldn’t sleep,” he finally says. “I came out to pick up a little and must’ve fallen asleep.” I kneel in between his legs and wrap my arms around his waist. “I told you we could worry about that later. You’re going to be exhausted now.” “Nah, I’ll be fine.” He reassures me with a smile and kiss. “What are you doing up so early?” I explain to him about the sun and sleep mask situation and he laughs at my dramatics, but it’s a real issue. “You go back to bed.” He kisses the top of my nose. “I’ll walk the dogs and come back in when I’m back.” “Are you sure?” “Yes! Now go.” Logan follows me into the bedroom to get dressed, but mostly to make sure I get back into the bed. I make sure to put my mask on this time and anxiously wait for him to return. I feel movement on the bed about twenty minutes later. I’m only about half asleep, but I can feel the chill of his skin against mine. He itches closer, and I feel his facial hair rubbing against my cheek. “Don’t take the mask off,” he whispers in my ear. Wait, what?
“I’m trying to sleep,” I groan, pushing him away with a grin. “Go ahead,” he snickers, grabbing my hands and raising my arms above my head. “Grab ahold of the headboard.” I do as he says and wrap my fingers around the bars. “What are you doing?” “Just giving you the breakfast in bed experience.” I feel his hands and mouth moving down my body, pressing his lips against my bare skin. I’m still in only my bra and panties, so the cold chill of his skin gives me goose bumps. “I don’t smell any breakfast,” I mock, knowing he hasn’t made anything. “Oh...I meant breakfast for me, Angel.” The teasing tone in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. In fact, I know exactly what he’s up to. He slides my panties to the side and teases me with his tongue, circling my clit and licking up my slit. He devours me, tossing my legs over his shoulders and eating me like a Thanksgiving Day feast. He inserts two fingers and circulates them while teasing my clit and driving me insane. I fist a hand in his hair, needing him to give me a moment to catch my breath. “Put your hand back on the bar,” he demands. “Or I’ll be forced to tie them there instead.” “I-I can’t...” I pant, wiggling my legs against his mouth, needing relief. “I want to touch you.” “We’re playing by my rules this time, baby. No looking. No touching.” “That’s not fair,” I complain, moving my hand back to the headboard. “Too bad.” He smiles against my thigh. “I don’t tell you how to eat your breakfast, so you don’t get to be the boss this time.” I chuckle at his little game, but it doesn’t last long. He twists his fingers in deeper, sucks my clit harder, and makes me come within seconds. “Holy fuck,” I mutter, my legs feeling sore as they stay wrapped around his neck. He presses more kisses along my thigh, cleaning me up with his tongue. “Well, I can attest to your tagline now.” “Huh?” I ask confused, still on a high. “Serves the Best Breakfast in Town!” He finally sets my legs down and crawls up my body, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. “Wouldn’t you agree?” I lick my lips, pretending to give it actual thought. I still can’t see him, but I can tell he’s satisfied with himself. “I can’t quite say. I haven’t tasted their proclaimed World’s Best Sausage yet.” He laughs against my mouth and rolls us so I’m on top of him now. “Well. Bon appétit!”
CHAPTER NINETEEN LOGAN Watching Kayla fall asleep in my arms is one of the best feelings in the world. She makes me feel safe and secure, which is probably ironic considering I’m the one that wants to make her feel that way. Regardless, she does. Knowing that someone as amazing as Kayla has feelings for me the same way I do about her makes me feel like I have finally gained back some control in my life. Once I know she’s asleep, I slide my arm out from under her and quietly get out of the bed. I grab my phone and head out of the room. Once I shut the door behind me, I head to her couch, set my alarm, and fall asleep. I hear my alarm and quickly turn it off. I don’t have to be to work for another two hours, but I get up early since I have to run back to my house and take Herman out before getting ready. Folding the blanket and making sure to set it back down in the right spot, I head for the bathroom. Before I can make it to the hallway, I see Kayla in the kitchen looking directly at me. And she doesn’t look happy. “Hey, babe. You’re up early.” I walk toward her, opening my arms to hug her, but she folds her arms over her chest and takes a step back. “What’s wrong?” “What’s wrong? You’re sleeping on the couch!” “Babe, it’s not what you’re thinking.” “Then what is it?” she asks, dropping her arms. “Do you not like sleeping next to me or something? Do you snore? Wait, do I snore?” “Of course, I love sleeping next to you. And no, it’s not that. It’s me, okay? I have trouble sleeping in the same bed with another person.” She furrows her brows, trying to figure me out. I know I’m being vague, but now isn’t the time to discuss this. “I promise, it’s not you.” “Then what is it?” she asks softly. “It’s...” I don’t even know how to begin this conversation. “It’s not something I can explain easily. Come over after work and we can talk, okay?” She lowers her eyes but nods. “Do you want me to walk the dogs with you?”
“No, it’s all right. I’m going to sleep for another hour.” I follow her into the bedroom and kiss her before I leave. I feel awful that she’s caught me and even worse that I haven’t told her the truth. It’s something I’ve been dreading, but I know she deserves to hear it. I just hope it's not a game changer for her. Losing her would break me—in more ways than one. Once I’m at work, I keep busy with catching up on calls and emails. This drug trafficking case has been draining with keeping up on interviewing the neighbors and doing random stakeouts. The more we can build our case, the better chance we have at taking the whole thing down, but going after them too soon could ruin the bust. I can’t concentrate as much knowing Kayla is upset with me. As soon as I finish my shift, I head home to take Herman out and text her. L: Come over tonight. I’ll make dinner. K: What time? L: 7, but sooner if you can. K: I’ll be there. I can feel her indifference through her messages, and I know I have a lot of making up to do. We haven’t been together that long, but we’ve been friends long enough that I should’ve known I could trust her to tell her the truth. Either way, I plan to fix that tonight. I know it won’t be easy reliving that time in my life, but I’ll do it for her. I’ll do anything for her and anything to keep her. At quarter to seven, Kayla knocks on the door and I’m so relieved when I see her. “Hey, baby.” I pull her against my chest and inhale the scent of her floral shampoo. Pressing my lips against her skin, I feel her relax. “Thanks for coming.” “Sure.” I welcome her inside and Herman greets her immediately. She kneels and pets him, flashing a smile in his direction. “I hope you’re hungry. I made enough for an army,” I tell her, taking her hand and walking her into the kitchen. “Wow, it smells amazing,” she boasts. “So, you’re a man of many talents I see?” “I try—I’m no gourmet chef—but I know my way around a grill.” Years of cooking for yourself will make that happen. She laughs, and it’s music to my ears. I know I owe her an explanation; I just don’t even know where to start at this point. I place the two ribeye steaks, smothered with garlic onto two plates, add the twice baked potatoes and sprinkle parmesan cheese over the steamed broccoli.
“Are you trying to put me in a food coma?” she asks as I set the dishes on the table and she sees everything. “Only if that leads to you naked in my bed,” I tease, taking my seat across from her, but she ends up glaring at me, and I know she’s not finding it funny. I watch as she lowers her eyes and cuts the steak with her fork and knife. “It started shortly after I came home from touring overseas,” I begin, knowing we aren’t going to get much done until we talk about the elephant in the room. She looks back up at me and listens. “I started drinking before bed so I would pass out hard enough in hopes I wouldn’t have the nightmares. One or two drinks at night turned into four or five and before long, I was passing out and instead of waking up from the nightmares, I was waking up on top of Maggie.” I swallow the words down, never before saying them aloud. I didn’t talk to a therapist then and by the time I did, Maggie and I were no longer together. “What do you mean you were on top of Maggie?” She’s set her fork down, and I know she’s probably already lost the appeal to eat. I suck my lips in my mouth, ashamed and embarrassed, but wanting to be completely honest with her, I lick my lips and start from the beginning. “The first time it happened, I was on top of her and screaming in her face to wake up. A buddy of mine was in an accident, and when I found him, he was covered in blood and I panicked, so I screamed at him to wake up. I didn’t want to believe he was dead at the time. When the memories started haunting me in my sleep, I drank to push them away, but instead they clouded my mind until there was no hiding from it.” “Oh my God. That sounds awful.” She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “I’m so sorry you had to experience that.” “It gets worse,” I warn her. “I stopped drinking once Maggie found out we were expecting. The nightmares continued, but nothing she couldn’t wake me up from. I started taking sleeping pills to help keep me in REM sleep so I could sleep through it. That helped for a bit, but then it started up again. I wake up to Maggie pouring a glass of cold water over my face just to wake me out of the dream.” “Jesus,” she whispers. “Then one night, we were arguing over something stupid. Maggie was eight months pregnant and she wasn’t getting a lot of sleep because she couldn’t get comfortable, and I became a restless sleeper. I remember I fell asleep before she came into bed that night and it was something I regretted ever since. She always told me we shouldn’t go to bed mad at each other considering I was in a war zone and we shouldn't take anything for granted. But I was tired and I didn’t
want to spend all night talking about it, so I swallowed down three sleeping pills with a glass of whiskey.” “Oh my God...” she mutters, covering her mouth with her other hand. I feel like the world’s biggest asshole having to retell this story that involves Maggie and me, but it’s inevitable at this point. “I woke up hours later in handcuffs,” I tell her, closing my eyes in shame. “What?” “I had climbed on top of her again, except instead of screaming at her, I was choking her.” My voice trembles as I recall the moments of that night. “I wasn’t conscious and she couldn’t stop me. She barely managed to grab her cell to dial 9-1-1, and once they heard her screaming, they sent officers over and they barged in through the front door and tackled me to the ground. I don’t recall any of that. The last thing I remember after falling asleep was being held to the ground with my hands behind my back. The paramedics came and did an exam on Maggie and once she was cleared, they hauled me to jail.” “Weren’t you a police officer then?” “Yeah, I was. That’s why I was only held for twelve hours. Maggie gave a statement, and once it was clear that it wasn’t intentional, I was released. My supervisor at the time persuaded me to go to therapy for my PTSD. It helped in some ways, but the dreams still come and go. I don’t know what would happen if Maggie and I slept together again because I never fell asleep in bed with her again. I’d lie with her until she fell asleep and then move to the couch. I couldn’t risk hurting her again.” “So that’s why you won’t stay in the bed with me? You’re worried about hurting me?” I nod. “But you don’t know what variables caused that kind of subconscious reaction. Between the alcohol and pills, those could’ve triggered those memories. If you aren’t doing those anymore, don’t you think you’d be okay?” I shrug, because I honestly don’t know. “I’ve thought about it, wondering if it’s been long enough for my mind to deal with those memories, but I can’t risk it,” I explain, looking into her deep brown eyes. “I could never forgive myself if I hurt you, Kayla. This is something I have to live with, but I don’t want it to be something you have to live with. I don’t want you to sleep in fear, which is why I sleep on the couch so I can be sure you stay safe.” “Is that why you and Maggie broke up? Because you couldn’t sleep in the same bed together?” “Ultimately, it was a variety of reasons, but it was the start of a ripple effect. It affected us being intimate together, even more so once Skylar was born
because we were both new parents and not getting a lot of sleep. Even though she said she didn’t, I knew she resented me for what I did. In the end, it was something neither of us could get over. I couldn’t forgive myself for what I’d done and she couldn’t feel safe around me.”
KAYLA My heart is breaking for Logan right now, and I honestly don’t know how I feel about what he’s just told me. I believe and trust him wholeheartedly, but the concern is still there. Can a relationship really work if you can’t sleep in the same bed together? Would he ever feel safe to sleep next to me? Or would we always have to be separated? “You haven’t blinked in a really long time,” Logan blurts out. “I’m sorry I have to burden you with all this.” I can hear the sadness in his voice, which is to be expected. I know he’s probably worried I’ll bail on him or tell him this will no longer work between us. I don’t want that at all, but I still need to process it all. Licking my lips, I look back up at him and see the caring, sweet, genuine, and protective Logan that I’ve always known. “I feel really sad for you,” I confess. “I’m sad that you’ve had to go through everything you did between being overseas, losing your friends, witnessing what you did, and everything that happened with Maggie. I’m sad you had to experience that.” “That means a lot to me.” “I want you to sleep with me tonight,” I tell him, making a decision. “Sleep in the bed with me and let me prove to you that we can work through this.” “No,” he says sternly. “I’ll just lie there wide awake too afraid to fall asleep.” “Then I’ll have to make sure to settle your nerves beforehand. Make sure you feel nice and rested.” I grin. He gives me a look as if he’s not taking the bait. “Logan, it was over six years ago. I know you’re afraid, but do you really want to live in fear the rest of your life? I know I don’t. I feel safe when I’m in your arms. Safe and secure,” I reassure him. He slides his chair out and walks to me, pulling me up so my chest is pressed against him. Smiling, he tilts my chin up and presses a soft kiss against my lips. “What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?” “Probably a lot of things.” I smile and wrap my arms around him. “You don’t ever have to worry about being honest with me. I’ll only judge you if it’s something ridiculous like being Team Feylin or something.”
His cheeks nearly touch his ears by the loud laughter that roars from his throat. “Well for the record, I’d be Team Feysand.” I laugh, appreciating that he knew what I was talking about. “Don’t know whether I’m concerned or impressed that you know the ACOTAR series.” I’m not a self-proclaimed fangirl, but I will elbow my way through a bookstore on release day to get the next book. “My partner, Brantley, has younger sisters that were talking about it one time. We were on a stakeout when they called, and for my amusement, he put them on speakerphone. For three hours, they were going back and forth discussing all about it and because I was bored as shit, I actually paid attention.” I love that Logan and I can talk through things, even if the truth is hard to hear. It proves we’re capable of working together during the rough patches. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy considering his past and being a single dad, but I have faith we’ll always have good communication between us. We finish our dinner and eventually end up on the couch to watch a movie. After scrolling through Netflix and unable to decide, I tell Logan to just pick something that neither of us has seen before. It doesn’t take long to predict the plot of the story. The young girl ends up pregnant and although faced with real consequences decides to keep the baby while juggling a part-time job and night classes to finish her GED. I can feel Logan tense next to me, though I’m not sure why. He’s not the one with the secret that’s been haunting him since he was fifteen years old. Pretending my teen years didn’t happen is a lot easier when your mistakes aren’t thrown in your face. I left that life behind long ago and even though I’ve kept that part of me a secret from everyone I love in my life, it’s for the best. “It’s late,” I tell him as we both stand up from the couch. “I should get home and let the dogs out one more time.” He leads me to the door, agreeing it’s probably a good idea I go home tonight. He brushes a few loose strands of hair behind my ear and kisses me softly on the lips. I look up into his eyes and see the sincerity there. “Sweet dreams.” “Night. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him before heading out, the conversation we shared still fresh in my mind as I walk to my car and drive back home.
On Wednesday after work, I made plans to drive to the food pantry to volunteer for a few hours. After I tell Logan about my plans, he completely surprises me when I see him there. “What are you doing here?” I hug him and give him a quick kiss. “Wanted to help out,” he says proudly. “My girlfriend is pretty inspirational, and I wanted to donate my time.” “Babe.” I cover his cheeks with my hands and kiss him again. “You’re the sweetest.” I grab his hand and start leading him down a hallway. “They’re always short on volunteers so Bonnie will be so excited to see you. Considering you’ll be the new eye candy.” I chuckle, loving that Logan is here. Bringing him into the room where the other volunteer members are sitting and after looking around, he whispers, “Who was the previous eye candy?” I lean in, whispering back, “Larry. The one over there.” I nod my head toward a guy in his late fifties with gray hair and a beard that touches the middle of his beer gut. “Wow. I can see the competition was stiff.” I snort, shaking my head at him. Bonnie stalks in and notices Logan right away. “Well, Kayla dear. It’s not my birthday for another month, but...” She takes it upon herself to squeeze his bicep and grins like a fool. “I’ll take it.” I burst out laughing. Bonnie has a great sense of humor and always has everyone laughing. Once everyone has arrived, I give Logan the details on how everything works. He’s smart and easily catches on, not that it’s really that complicated, but with him next to me, time is flying by. “He’s so handsome and strong, Kayla. No wonder you’ve been keeping him to yourself for so long,” she mutters to me with a cheeky smile. “I think he’d be too young for you, Bonnie,” I tell her in a playful voice. “Although, he has lots of single friends in the department he works in, so I could help set you up.” “Oh, don’t tempt me.” She winks and smiles wide. “You dirty bird,” I tease, laughing. I hope I’m as cool and hip as Bonnie when I’m her age. I love seeing Logan getting involved and interested in the things that I am. It really shows me the kind of person he is and that he values what I do. We talk while unpacking boxes of food to stock on the shelves. I tell him about the statistics in our area of how many families the pantry feeds on a weekly basis and how many wouldn’t be able to survive without it. It’s eye-opening once you educate yourself on the topics. A lot of those families come from single parents with multiple children. Without volunteers, the pantry couldn’t operate and that’s
what drives me to donate my time. If I can contribute to a cause where it’ll help families and kids, then I want to be able to do what I can. I introduce Logan to some of the other regular volunteers, and once they all find out he was a police officer and now detective, they get all swoony-eyed at him even more. We end up staying an extra hour longer than I typically would since Bonnie had him lifting all the heavy boxes and basically reorganizing the storage closet. Once we say goodbye, we walk hand in hand out into the parking lot. He walks me to my car and before I can open my door, he swings me around and pins me against it. “What are you doing?” I squeal, laughing at the sudden movement. He cages me in with his arms and rubs his nose along the length of my jawline. “Trying to seduce you into coming to my place tonight,” he mutters against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “Is it working?” I feel his lips spread into a smile. Laughing, I wrap my arms around him and play along. “It always works.” He leans down and kisses me once again. “On one condition,” I say. “What’s that?” “You have to stay in bed with me. I don’t want fear to control our relationship, and I want you to trust me.” He furrows his brows at me and takes a step back. “Why wouldn’t I trust you?” “I want you to trust me enough to know that you can stay in bed with me and nothing is going to happen.” “I trust you with my life, Kayla, but that doesn’t mean nothing’s going to happen. I don’t trust me.” “Well I trust you completely, Logan Knight.” He brushes a hand through his hair and blinks. “Okay. For you, Kayla Sinclair. I will.”
CHAPTER TWENTY LOGAN Falling asleep next to Kayla made me realize that maybe I’m not the monster I always thought I was. Surprisingly, I didn’t wake up once throughout the night and loved feeling her ass press against my erection in the morning. Our bodies fit perfectly together like two puzzle pieces, and I held her like she was my saving grace. Relief washes over my face when she rolls over to kiss me. She smiles wide, and I can tell she’s happy we were able to get past this hump. It’d been years since I fell asleep with another person next to me, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried, but, deep down, I know I can’t live in fear forever. Although nothing happened, I’m not convinced nothing could ever happen. However, I’m willing to try—for her. The week flies by and since Kayla’s spending her day volunteering, and Skylar is mine today, I planned a small get-together with my parents. Now that Maggie lives in Sacramento, having lunches like this on the weekends is so much easier. As of right now, we aren’t doing dedicated times with Skylar because Maggie’s work schedule changes week to week, so we’re working together—for once. A knock echoes through the house, and, when I open the door, I see Maggie and Skylar. “Daddy!” Skylar squeals, jumping in for a hug. “Hi, sweetheart! I missed you,” I tell her even though it hasn’t been long since I’ve seen her last. It doesn’t matter though. I always miss her when she’s not with me. “Come in,” I tell Maggie, stepping aside. “I can’t stay too long. I don't want to be late,” Maggie says, dressed in her scrubs. She steps in and starts looking around. Her eyes light up and her jaw nearly falls to the floor. “Wow, Logan. It looks amazing in here,” she praises. Skylar grabs Maggie’s hand and leads her to her bedroom with Herman right behind them.
“See Mommy!” Skylar says proud of her room. “Herman sleeps here, and I sleep here. And come see.” She runs to the window and pushes the purple curtain to the side. “Look!” Maggie sees the swing set in the backyard then looks around the room and she’s taken aback. For once she has no words which kind of shocks me. “You did all this for her?” she asks as we walk down the hall toward the front door. “I wanted it to be perfect for when she stayed with me.” I admit. “You did a great job, Logan. She really loves it here,” Maggie says, and I follow her outside. “Thank you, Mags. That means a lot.” I shove my hands in my pockets and she stands there for a moment staring at me. “I knew the real you would eventually come around. Whatever is making you happy, keep doing it. Skylar needs her daddy.” Maggie gets in her car and smiles at me before backing out the driveway. Her words resonate with me as I walk back inside the house and the only difference in my life is Kayla. She’s what’s making me happy. She’s what’s changing me for the better. I can hear Skylar in her room talking to Herman and I lean my shoulder against the doorway and watch. She’s got a crown on his head and is brushing him with a princess comb that goes to one of her dolls. He looks miserable but allows her to do whatever she wants to him. These are the irreplaceable moments I yearned for. “Look, Daddy! Herman is a pretty princess.” “He sure is,” I say just as the oven timer goes off. “Be right back, baby. Gran and Pawpaw are coming over soon to have lunch with us.” “Okay, Daddy,” she says, following me into the kitchen talking a million miles to nothing about her new dance class. I’m happy she’s meeting new friends and loves her instructor. I pull the casserole out of the oven and place it on top when I hear a faint knock on the door. Skylar runs through the kitchen to the living room and asks who it is, but there’s no response. I stop what I’m doing and open the door and that’s when I see Kayla running back to her car just as my parents are pulling into the driveway, blocking her in. “Kayla,” I call after her. She turns and looks at me. “I’m sorry.” Her face drops. “I forgot that...” I wave my hand for her to come back. Just as she steps back up the porch, Skylar comes running out the door and charges at my parents with her arms open wide. I hear my mother talking to her and telling her how big she looks.
“Mom. Dad.” I motion for them to come meet us at the door. “I have someone I want you to meet.” Kayla looks up at me with wide eyes, but I wrap my arm around her and flash her a smile so she doesn’t worry. “Who is this?” Skylar asks shyly as she walks toward us with my parents. “This is Kayla.” I wave a hand between them. “She helped decorate your room.” “Oh, cool.” She starts jumping around, and I know I’ve lost her interest. “Kayla, these are my parents. Richard and Meredith Knight.” “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Kayla greets, holding her hand out, but, of course, Mom doesn’t go for it. “I don’t know what treatment our son’s been showing you around here, but we’re huggers.” She wraps her arms around Kayla and gives her a tight squeeze. “It’s been a long time since Logan’s introduced us to a girl.” “Mom,” I warn, but she hushes me. “Well, it’s true,” she snickers, giving me a side-eye glare. “Meredith, stop hogging the pretty girl,” my dad says, stepping forward to give Kayla a hug. “You’re way too pretty for my son, by the way.” He winks at her before stepping back. Kayla snorts and chuckles, obviously surprised by my parents’ bluntness. “Well, let’s head inside. Hope you’re all hungry!” I hug my mom and shake my dad’s hand. “I made Grandma’s Italian casserole.” “Starving,” my dad says and mom smiles and we all walk in the house together. I step back and walk beside Kayla. “I’m so sorry to intrude. I was going to bring some treats for Herman because they were on sale and didn’t realize...” “You’re stuck like glue, Angel. Come have lunch with us. It’ll be fine.” She hesitates but walks inside and smiles sweetly with the bag of dog treats in her hand. I set plates and place the casserole and salad in the middle of the table. Mom and Dad sit down beside each other and Kayla sits across from them and Skylar rushes to sit beside her. When Herman moseys into the kitchen, with the crown still attached to his head, Kayla bursts out laughing then opens the backdoor and lets him out. “He’s a princess,” Skylar explains to her. “I see that,” Kayla says so sweetly. “I’ve heard you are too.” Skylar giggles and tries to sit as close as possible to Kayla. As we eat, my parents ask her questions that are maybe a little too personal to discuss but that’s just how they are. Nothing’s off limits when it comes to my
parents. “How did you two meet?” Mom asks. “Oh, we have mutual friends, Drew and Courtney,” Kayla explains. “So how are Drew and Courtney? They are such a sweet couple,” Mom asks between bites. “They’re doing great, Mom. Happily married,” I remind her. “And doing lots of newlywed-type things.” Kayla snorts besides me. “Oh, newlyweds. You know how I love weddings,” she draws out, glaring at me. She then winks at Kayla, and I officially want to stab my fork in my eye. Dad stays quiet, too busy stuffing his face with his favorite pasta dish. “I love weddings, too! Drew and Courtney’s was beautiful, but it was so hot in Texas.” Kayla smiles then looks over at me. “This casserole is so good. You’ll have to share the recipe with me.” She just changed the marriage subject like a pro. I look over and smile proudly. “It was one of my grandmother’s recipes that she always made when I was a kid,” I tell her. “I’m going to have to give her a call and let her know. It tastes exactly like hers, secret ingredient and all,” Mom says, finishing the food on my plate. “You even added the red wine to the sauce?” Dad adds, and I nod. Kayla glances over at me, her mouth slightly falling open, and I shoot her a wink. She’s not the only one who adds secret ingredients to their recipes. Once we’re finished eating, Skylar hugs my mother and father and is so proud of her room, she drags them in there for an official room tour. She’s telling them about every little detail, and I can hear my mom telling her how beautiful everything is. I take the moment to steal a kiss from Kayla. “Your parents are so nice,” she whispers against my lips. “They like you.” She blushes. I start cleaning off the table and she helps me load all the dishes in the dishwasher. “There’s a new Disney movie in the theatre today. Thought we’d take Skylar to see it,” Mom says. Skylar starts bouncing around and begs to go. “Okay. Okay. Only if you promise not to fill her with chocolate and send her back,” I tell my mother, looking her straight in the eyes. “No promises, son,” Dad adds with a grin, and I know for a fact they’re going to buy her whatever she wants. She has us all—most especially my parents
—wrapped around her little pinky. “It starts in about forty-five minutes,” Mom tells Skylar and she’s so excited about the movie that I let out a chuckle. “Which means we should probably get going so we don’t get stuck in traffic,” Dad says placing his hand on Mom’s shoulder. Before they head out, they give Kayla a big hug and tell her how much they enjoyed meeting her. Skylar motions for Kayla to bend down and whispers to her. “You decorated my room?” Kayla nods with a smile. “I did.” “How did you know what I liked?” Skylar asks as my parents start moving toward the door, waiting for her. “Your dad told me,” Kayla whispers. Skylar’s mouth drops open then she smiles real big and runs off. “We’ll be back in a few hours,” Mom calls out. I give Skylar a hug goodbye and remind her to behave, even though I know she will because she’s a good kid. Once they’re gone, Kayla lets out a sigh of relief. “Seriously, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to impose or anything. I feel horrible.” I place my hands on her shoulders, and her eyes meet mine. “I’m glad you’re here. I should’ve invited you...I’m still learning these things.” She gives me a weak smile. “As soon as I heard Skylar’s voice, I tried to run back to the car and leave as quick as I could, but you were too fast,” she admits. “I understand how important it is for our relationship to stay separate from that part of your world.” Before she can continue, I place my lips against hers and kiss the fuck out of her. She pours herself into me and when we pull away, I pull her into a hug. “You’re a big part of my world now, Kayla. Don’t you ever forget that.”
KAYLA Though Logan has said over and over that he was genuinely happy I joined his family for lunch on Saturday, I’ve still felt terrible about it crashing it. He’s an honest and genuine guy, and I know if it was an issue, he would’ve said so, but that still doesn’t make my guilt vanish. However, I loved meeting Skylar and his parents so much. Skylar’s so full of life and such a beautiful little girl, and his parents were so welcoming and kind. Admittedly, I felt like I was with family, not a sensation I’m too accustomed to.
Today, Courtney and Drew invited us all over for a cookout, and I’m excited to be going. Logan is picking me up and we’re driving over there together, and honestly it feels great to be out and open about us. There’s no more secrets. No more hiding. Everyone knows we’re together, and I couldn’t be happier about that. Right on time, Logan pulls up wearing jeans and a button-up shirt. “What are you smiling about?” he asks as we walk to the car hand in hand. “I was just thinking that you look so damn good I could eat a donut...” I lift my eyebrows, not finishing the sentence, and he starts chuckling. “Maybe we’ll save it for the honeymoon considering all my mother talks about since she met you is our wedding.” “Does she really?” I sincerely ask. “You made an impression on her. You’re a sweet and kind girl and she knows a good girl when she sees one—her words not mine. I wanted to tell her how bad you really are, but I thought that would be highly inappropriate considering it’s my mother. Oh, and she wants us to join them for dinner sometime next week, if you’re available.” I don’t know what to say, but I love his mom already. She looks like the type of mother that would be caring and affectionate and send you home with a dozen of freshly-baked cookies after each visit like the perfect TV mom. “Yeah, I’d love that. I really like your mom and your dad, too. She just seems so perfect. And your dad, he’s funny but quiet. You remind me a lot of him.” Logan looks out into the distance as if he’s thinking of something. “I love them both. Since Dad is former military, I can see where you’d get that. Sometimes, there’s nothing to say, so it’s easier to just watch. And mom, she can be very—what’s the word—overbearing at times. But she means well.” “You’re lucky,” I say and Logan grabs my hand. “Only because I have you.” My heart slightly melts as we pull up to Drew and Courtney’s. Logan parks then turns and looks at me. “I mean it.” We both sit in the car for a second, not breaking our eye contact. “That’s why I like you so much. You don’t allow my insecurities to take over. You welcome and dismiss them. Thank you for caring about me. I can’t say too many people have,” I say truthfully. He sucks in a deep breath. “I try to be a better person, to live by the examples you set for yourself. I’m not perfect. I have my own issues and demons that I wrestle every day but I’m trying because you keep me grounded. You’ve made me a better person, a better father, and a better son. You rescued me when I needed it the most.”
My nose begins to burn and my eyes fill with tears. I’m trying not to lose it, but I feel my emotions getting ready to spill over. I try to suck in air, and as a single tear rolls down my cheek, Logan catches it with his finger and kisses it away. I let out a breath as I fight for control. “I guess we should get in there.” His thumb brushes across my cheek, then across my lips before he kisses me. My eyes flutter closed and I know that I could sit here with him in this car forever, but we have to go. We get out of the car and Logan wraps his arm around my shoulder as we walk to the door. Ringing the doorbell, Courtney answers with an apron tied around her waist and she has that crazy look in her eye like she’s been baking muffins for days. As soon as we walk in and see the castle of them on the table, I know something is up. “Hey, Court. What’s been going on?” I smile and watch Logan meet Drew and Travis outside. Viola shakes her head behind Courtney, trying to give me a warning but I see it way too late. Courtney grabs a muffin, breaks it in two and begins eating it. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get pregnant. It’s been months and I really thought it would happen by now.” Viola gives Courtney a sweet smile and they exchange a hug. I can tell she’s really upset about this. “I got my period this morning and it’s just made me even more moody because I know I’m not pregnant.” I give her a hug. “Aww, honey, I’m so sorry. It’s going to happen. In the meanwhile, enjoy all the amazing sex.” She almost forces a laugh. “It is pretty amazing.” “See, that’s a plus. Trust me when I say your sex life will almost die after you give birth.” Viola tells us. “Right, Lola,” Courtney says not believing her. “That’s why there’s three little Traviolas running around?” “Okay well it dies at first. But then you have to worry about another little human running around and can’t just come and go as you please. It changes things for sure. I know you’re more than ready, Court. And you’re going to make a great mom, but there’s no rush,” Viola tells her. “Viola is right,” I add. “I don’t want to be the old mom with a kid in kindergarten. I’m already at my prime!” Courtney goes to grab another muffin and Viola stops her. “Stressing about it won’t help. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen. Just believe in the timing. No need to be impatient. It’s totally a Texan thing, isn’t it?” I ask.
“You’re right, Kay. God, I love y’all. You make me feel so much better. I’m sure Drew is tired of seeing the garbage can of ovulation and pregnancy tests and hearing me groan after every negative result. I curse them little sticks more than the damn scale.” We go in for a group hug, just as the men walk in and they immediately walk back outside. “I guess Drew warned them all,” Courtney jokes and grabs the salad out of the fridge. “He probably did,” Viola admits and it causes me to laugh. “Though Travis knows considering you’ve been a little stressed at work for the past couple months.” “I’ve got to stop taking random pregnancy tests at work. They make me want to kick dirt,” Courtney admits, her nostrils flaring. “Yes, you do. For the sake of everyone. Your wrath is frightening,” Viola says and opens the door to the patio. We follow her out and start setting the table. The afternoon is perfect. The wind is blowing freely through my hair and the smell of the meat on the grill is divine. Logan randomly shoots me smiles from across the patio and it makes me feel so damn special and beautiful. We all sit down to eat, and he rests his hand on my thigh. What’s even better is no one asks any questions about us. Probably because it was obvious we had feelings for each other all this time. Once we’re done eating, the guys watch a baseball game and the three of us just sit on the patio and chitchat about everything. “How are things going so far?” Viola finally asks. “It’s perfect. I can’t complain at all. Everything I ever imagined,” I say with doe-eyes. “Everything, everything?” Courtney asks and I laugh at her, because I know what she’s insinuating. Sex. “Especially that everything.” I reassure her. Viola lifts her wine glass in the air and Courtney lifts her bottle of water, because she is so not drinking until after she’s had a baby. “I will drink to that,” Viola says. Just as we clank our drinks together, Logan walks outside. “What are you toasting to?” I smile real big. “To cream-filled donuts.” He slightly stiffens and it makes me laugh so hard that my stomach hurts, but the confusion on Courtney’s face lets him know that they really have no idea. “Hey, I thought we could get going. I have something I need to take care of.”
Viola and Courtney fill in the silence with oohs and ahhs, finally teasing. I stand and tell the girls bye as I follow him through the house. I say bye to Drew and Travis and they lift their beers at me. Once we’re outside I ask if everything is okay. “Yep. Maggie got called into work so I need to get Skylar.” My demeanor completely changes. “That’s no problem, you can drop me off at home and I–” “I’ll be happy to drop you off at home, but then you need to take your dogs out and come back over. Skylar wants to watch The Little Mermaid, and, well, I thought you’d like to watch it with us.” “You’re inviting me over? With Skylar there?” I ask, the surprise evident in my tone. “Of course. She asked if the pretty lady who decorated her room would come over too.” I place my hand over my heart and can’t help but let out an, “Aww.” “So, pretty lady, are you coming?” “Absolutely.” Logan drops me off and I feed the boys treats and let them play outside while I look for all the extra princess stuff I have stored in my garage. There’s crowns and even costumes that I think are her size. I’ve been saving them for the perfect time and this is it. The whole drive over, all I can think about is how excited she’s going to be. I even packed pink popcorn for us to eat while watching the movie. As soon as I pull up, I can see the porch light is on waiting for me. I knock on the door and hear Skylar ask who it is. I answer and she opens the door. “Hey! We were waiting for you!” she says with a big toothy smile. Logan is sitting on the couch, leaning against the arm with a sexy smile on his face. Okay, so the dad thing really does work for him. I bend down, where I’m eye to eye with Skylar and pull two crowns out of my bag. “Ooh, they are sparkly!” “Which one do you want?” I ask her, holding them both in my hand. She picks one and I place it on her head and her face lights up when I place the other one on my head. I pull out a few princess dresses and she begs Logan to put one on and he gives her permission. She runs to the bathroom and it takes her awhile. “She already adores you,” Logan says quietly. “I adore her, too.” Skylar comes sprinting out of the bathroom looking like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
“Oh, it fits you perfectly! You look so pretty!” I compliment her as she twirls around. “Can we watch this one instead, Daddy?” She points to the dress. “Yeah, baby. Whichever one you want.” Before the movie starts, I place the colored popcorn in the microwave and she loves it and asks tons of questions about why it’s that color. Once Beauty and the Beast starts playing, Skylar leans her head against me. Logan watches us, not taking his eyes off us. I look over at him and he’s smiling with so much adoration and love in his eyes that it almost takes my breath away. By the time the movie’s over, Skylar is asleep on me. Logan carefully picks her up and walks her to her bedroom. I lean against the doorway as I watch him carefully tuck her in and pet Herman who is happily asleep on the trundle bed. Logan walks me out to my car and runs his fingers through my hair before he kisses me. As we break apart, he searches my eyes, as if he has something else to say. I swallow hard, not rushing him, as his face is mere inches from mine. “I love you, Kayla.” He presses a soft kiss against my lips. Leaning his forehead against mine, he releases a breath. “I love you so much.” Butterflies swarm my belly at his sincere tone. His words leave me breathless, but somehow, I find my voice. I look up into his eyes and smile. “I love you, too.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE LOGAN As soon as I walk into the office, the hustle and bustle of the day is in full force, and it's barely even seven in the morning. “What’s with the cheesy ass grin, Knight?” Brantley asks. “Nothing,” I respond, pouring a cup of coffee. But that’s not entirely the truth. Kayla Sinclair is to blame. After yesterday and seeing her with Skylar, it made me the happiest I’ve been in years. Honestly, I wasn’t planning on introducing them so soon, but I know Kayla isn’t a short-term thing. We’re in this together for the long haul. Fuck, I love her so damn much. Surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to tell her how I feel. Those three words had only been reserved for Skylar for the last six years, and I swore I’d never say them again after Maggie. However, I also never expected to have these types of feelings again. I couldn’t wait another day to tell her. The way she looked into my eyes as she whispered the words back to me, made me feel whole again. “Whatever you say,” Brantley snickers, following me into my office. “A few undercovers went over to the house and scored meth. We know for sure they’re selling and they trust our undercovers so we have to keep them safe. Apparently around three today they’re having a big shipment of something big come in. They told our guys to come back and they wouldn’t be disappointed. I say, we watch the shipment come in, have our undercovers purchase it, watch to see how many others go over there, wait a few hours, and then bust their asses.” His face is full of disgust. “Jesus.” I shake my head. “And to think they’re selling to kids. Those motherfuckers need to be stopped.” “When the time is right,” he reminds me running his fingers through his hair. “They’re probably supplying the whole county with drugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the people who show up today, and pick up, are dealers in the area. The house could be the main source, which means this could be one of the largest busts our department has had in over a decade.” Brantley nods. “I believe you’re right.”
“So, we’ll head over there after lunch? I have some other cases I'm reviewing this morning,” I explain looking at the stack of files piled up on my desk. “Yeah, let's head out after lunch,” he agrees. The day passes quickly, and I can't wait for it to be over so I can see Kayla. Since she's on my mind and has been all damn day, I text her. L: Are you available for lunch? K: I was just thinking about you, Detective. L: Dirty thoughts I'm sure. K: How'd you guess? :) I'm free for lunch, but I can't stay for very long. Busy afternoon. L: Perfect! Meet me at Roxie Deli. K: I'll be there at 11. Can't wait to see you! The morning passes quickly and soon I’m heading across town to meet Kayla for lunch. I make it over there without waiting in traffic and go inside and wait for her, and can’t help but plant a kiss on her lips as soon as she’s close enough for me to touch her. “Well hello to you, too,” she says with a bright smile on her face. I lean over and whisper in her ear before she orders. “You look beautiful.” She’s wearing a high-waisted pencil skirt, a low-cut blouse, and heels. Her hair is tucked behind her ears and a hint of blush hits her cheeks. We grab our sandwiches and sit close by the window and eat. “I have a surprise for you tonight,” Kayla says, smirking. “Does it include donuts?” I inquire, arching a brow. She snorts and sets her sandwich down. “Something better...” “I’m loving the sound of this already.” Once we’re finished eating, I walk her to her car. My body presses against hers as our mouths and tongues connect. Want and need rushes over me as my hands run up her body. I feel her shiver beneath me. “Logan,” she warns. “Tonight.” She’s nearly gasping for air as she whispers against my mouth. We force ourselves apart, both breathing heavily. “Tonight, then.” I drive back to the office as fast as I can knowing lunch took a little longer than I expected. As soon as I walk in, Brantley is walking toward me with the
keys to the unmarked car in his hand. I turn around and follow him. “Are you ready for this?” he asks, holding up the search warrant as he climbs in the driver’s side and starts the car. Selling to the undercover cops was enough probable cause to get a judge to sign one. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” We’ve handled big cases before and I’m pretty settle in stressful situations such as this one. Being in a war zone, you learn quick that staying calm is a form of survival. You take it one step at a time and focus on the target. We drive to the suburban neighborhood in Elk Grove and park a little farther than usual. Normally we’d take a whole team with us, search the home, confiscate all the drugs, and arrest them. However, knowing they’re getting a big shipment in, we decided to wait until after it’s in their possession to add on the additional charges. Once we start seeing them distribute again, we’ll call for backup and raid the premises. We want to make sure these guys go down hard. We shoot the shit as we watch the house with binoculars and cameras. Right as I look over at Brantley, he nods toward the house. “Look, we’ve got our first customer of the day already.” I pick up my binoculars and my heart drops when I see a Mustang convertible sitting in the driveway. “Please, don’t,” I grit under my breath. The door swings open and I see high heels, a tight skirt, and a low-cut blouse. I feel fucking ill to my stomach when the woman turns around, and I see Kayla’s beautiful face. “What the fuck!” I yell, not even realizing I spoke. “What? What is it?” Brantley asks as Kayla walks up the sidewalk and knocks on the door. “That’s...” I swallow hard, blinking and trying to comprehend what I’m seeing. “That’s my girlfriend.” Brantley turns and looks. “What?” My mouth goes dry and anger rushes through my body. What the fuck is she doing there? It’s dangerous and unpredictable. She doesn’t need to be there. I can’t understand why she’d be here. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” Brantley tries to reassure me, but when the door swings open and the older man pulls Kayla into his arms and hugs her, I see his arms traveling further down her back than appropriate. My jaw ticks and I’m two seconds from opening the door and walking over there and beating the fuck out of this creep. She steps inside and I’m stressed the fuck out. I want to text her, warn her, ask her what the hell is going on. But I know I can’t. She’d ask questions. She’d want to know how I know she’s there. It’d make her look
suspicious to the creep, and I can’t risk putting her in more danger than she already is. Or maybe she knows more than I think she does. My mind is reeling, swimming in a fog that I can’t seem to get out of. I check the clock, thirty minutes pass but it feels like I’m drowning. She’s still in there. So many questions run through me. So many awful scenarios playing in my head. Finally, she steps outside carrying a duffle bag. The same type of bag the Royal girl had. One of the neighbors is outside watering their lawn and the man keeps glancing over at her. Before Kayla gets in the car, the young kid is dropped off. He walks toward the house with a bad attitude. The older man says something to him and the kid looks at Kayla and with everything he has, pushes her hard. It all happens so fast, yet plays out in slow motion. She stumbles backward, trying to catch herself as she falls to the ground. Her head hits the pavement and even though I’m not close, I can tell it was a hard hit. I reach for the door handle and Brantley pulls me back. “No!” he shouts. “You can’t go out there. You’ll blow our case before we can get a team of guys to issue the warrant.” I’m thankful Brantley is thinking straight because I’m losing my fucking mind. The older man goes to Kayla and shakes her but she doesn’t respond. I watch with bated breath, worried out of my mind, as the little punk kid walks inside giving no shits about what he just did. I call dispatch and request an ambulance at the address, letting them know what I know. I can’t stand being in here as she lies lifeless on the ground, but I know I’d be putting everyone’s lives at risk if I break protocol. The neighbor pulls out her cell phone and yells something to the man. He shakes his head, telling her no and waving her off, but the woman thankfully doesn’t listen. Brantley puts a hand on my shoulder, grabbing my attention back to him. “As soon as the ambulance takes her, I’ll drive you straight to the hospital.” Brantley tries to calm me because I’m so volatile waiting. “Thanks, man.” I run my hands over my face, sinking further into dark thoughts as each second passes. Finally, the ambulance arrives along with an onduty fireman. The look on the homeowner’s face is evident he’s stressed. He knows any extra attention isn’t good considering he has a house full of drugs. We watch as the paramedics check her over and see if she’s conscious. They hook her up to an oxygen line before loading her onto the stretcher. “Thank God,” I mutter, rocking back and forth in my seat. The guy waits until the ambulance starts backing out before pulling his phone out and walks away as he begins talking.
“I bet he just called off the delivery,” Brantley suggests. “He knows he has a target on him right now.” I can’t even respond. I feel my walls slowly building up. I’m tense and stressed to the max. I can’t think about anything or give two fucks about this case while Kayla is medically unresponsive. I can only pray that she’s okay. “They’re going to stay low right now. I bet nothing happens until next week,” Brantley says. I agree and as soon as the ambulance is out of sight we make our way straight to the hospital. I send a quick text to Drew and let him know what’s going on. Brantley drives as fast as he can to the hospital, while anxiety creeps through me, and I feel some sort of relief when I see Drew standing outside the emergency entrance, talking on his cell phone. I thank Brantley before he decides to go back and watch the house alone. As soon as Drew sees me walking toward him, he hangs up and falls in line with me. “I just called Courtney and she’s picking up Viola. They’re on their way.” “Okay.” My jaw ticks, unable to really process anything right now. “You have no idea why she’d be in that neighborhood?” he asks. “I have no fucking idea. It doesn't look good, at all, considering how long she was in there and how comfortable she was with him like they were friends or something. But there must be legit reason. There has to be.” Every horrible scenario plays through my mind and it takes everything I have to push them away. Drew places his hand on my shoulder and pulls me back to reality. “I’m sure there is. I’ll wait for Court and Viola out here. We’ll meet you inside.” I walk to the registration desk and tell the woman I’m with the Sacramento PD. After explaining the situation about Kayla and that I’m her boyfriend, I give a physical description so she can find details about her right away. “They brought her into triage, and once she’s stable, they’ll transfer her into the ICU and you’ll be able to see her.” “I need to see her now.” “They were taking her to get an MRI since they’re worried about brain injury and swelling.” She then reaches into a basket. “Take this buzzer and when it’s time, I’ll buzz you.” Drew finally walks back in with Courtney and Viola. They both engulf me with hugs and start asking me a million questions. All questions I want answers to as well. A half hour passes before I get buzzed. I sprint to the registration desk and the same woman is still there. “Can I see her now?”
She flashes a small smile. “Yes. Follow me.” Drew and the girls stay back and wait for me to return with an update. I just want to see her and know that she’s okay. “You can only stay for ten minutes,” the woman warns. “Can you have a nurse give me an update?’ “Yes, I’ll send her right in,” she tells me before walking away. I walk through the door with my heart racing and my blood boiling. I don’t even know anything yet and I’m already scared out of my mind. My heart drops when I see she’s still hooked up to oxygen and a bunch of machines are beeping around her. I walk to the bed and grab her hand, hoping she can feel me. “Kayla, can you hear me?” She doesn’t respond. “I love you, Angel.” I kiss her hand and rub my finger along her cheek. “I love you so fucking much.” A nurse walks in and greets me with a smile. “You must be Detective Knight. I’m Sara, the ICU nurse.” “Can you tell me anything?” “We’re still waiting for the MRI results, but otherwise everything looks good so far. Her heart rate and blood pressure are all within the normal ranges. The oxygen is just a precautionary until we know more.” “And what will the MRI tell you?” “Just if there’s any bleeding or swelling. She was knocked unconscious and we’re keeping her sedated for now until we know for sure. If there’s trauma to the head, having her sedated will help her body to heal.” It takes everything inside me to not lose it.
The next three days go by in a blur. I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. I don’t even remember what it feels like to need to eat or sleep. The MRI results came back with minor swelling, so they kept her sedated to allow her body to begin healing naturally. I hate not being able to hear her voice. Holding her hand, I speak to her and remind her how much she’s loved and that I miss her so damn much. Viola and Courtney also visit her every day, but we all only get a short window to be in her room, which means we’re mostly camping out in the waiting room. If something changes, one of us will at least be here. On the fourth day, her nurse tells me they’ve lowered the sedation levels and she could possibly wake up within the next twelve hours. After another MRI that
morning, they could see that swelling has gone down and that she should have a full recovery as soon as it continues to decrease. The good news gives me hope. I’ve been a fucking wreck, but trying my best to stay strong for her sake. After sitting down in the chair next to her bed and pressing a kiss to her hand, I tell her the news her nurse told me. I don’t know if she can hear me or not, but just in case she can, I want her to know that she’s strong enough to pull through this. I know this situation could’ve been a lot worse, considering the guy’s background, but talking to her gives me comfort, too. A nurse pops in and reminds me of my time limit, which I fucking hate. If they’d let me sleep on the floor, I would, just to be next to her. She looks so peaceful, like a real-life Sleeping Beauty, except my kiss won’t wake her. I check my watch and realize half my time is up already, but when I look back at her, Kayla’s eyes begin to flutter open. “Kayla?” I perk up and rub my hand across her cheek. “Finally. I was so scared and worried, Angel.” She blinks a few times, looking around the room and at me, but doesn’t say anything. “I’m so happy you’re awake. Do you remember anything?” She shakes her head as she studies my face. “That’s okay. That’s normal for traumatic situations. I’m just so damn thankful I witnessed what happened and was able to get an ambulance there for you as quick as possible.” She breathes in deep and releases a soft breath and tries to sit up. I help her adjust her pillow and she smiles. The first time I’ve seen that beautiful smile in four days. “What happened?” she asks. “You were knocked down and smacked your head on the pavement pretty hard. They did an MRI and saw you had some swelling, so they wanted to keep you sedated until it started to go down. “Oh,” is all she says. “I’m just so happy you’re awake. I’ve been going insane for four days.” I smile at her and she smiles back. “Are Viola and Courtney coming?” she asks, and I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles. “I’m going to text them as soon as I can tell them you’re awake. I’ll make sure Drew and Travis know, too.” A nurse steps in, seeing that Kayla is awake and is almost as shocked as I was. I’m smiling and thrilled because I didn’t really expect this to happen so
soon once they decreased the medicine. The nurse introduces herself to Kayla and lets her know she’s going to do some neurological testing. She puts her pen up and instructs Kayla to follow it with her eyes. She then asks her a series of questions like her name, her birth date, what city we’re in, and other standard questions. I smile when I hear her answer correctly. The nurse is typing all her notes on the computer and nods her head at me to come over. “Your time is almost up,” she tells me quietly. “But don’t worry. Now that she’s awake, if her vitals stay stable, she’ll be moved to a regular room.” She comforts me because I don’t plan to leave anytime soon. The nurse directs her attention back to Kayla and smiles. “Honey, do you have any questions or do you need anything?” “Actually,” she says, clearing her throat. She sits there for a moment, staring at the nurse. When her words come, they are quiet and meek and rip a knife straight through my heart. “Who is he?”
TO BE CONTINUED...
COMING NEXT Checkmate: This is Beautiful A second-chance romance Coming September 2017 Kayla Sinclair is a saint and real life Angel. She wears her heart on her sleeve and inspires me to be a better person. Rescuing dogs, feeding the homeless, volunteering at the local food pantry are just a few of the ways she gives back to others, although no one has ever been there for her. Falling for her was inevitable, losing her will destroy me. Letting someone in didn’t come easy, but she made me want to try for the first time in years. Her bubbling personality and kind spirit make it impossible to forget a girl like her. But when tragedy strikes and she loses all memory that our relationship ever existed, my worst nightmare comes to life. I’ll do anything to remind her of the love we shared. I know it’ll be an uphill battle, but I won’t walk away without a fight. Whoever said all is fair in love and war never played by my rules. Checkmate, Angel.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kennedy Fox is a duo of bestselling authors who share a love of You’ve Got Mail and The Holiday. When they aren’t bonding over romantic comedies, they like to brainstorm new book ideas. One day, they decided to collaborate under a pseudonym and have some fun creating new characters that’ll make your lady bits tingle and your heart melt. If you enjoy romance stories with sexy, tattooed alpha males and smart, quirky, independent women, then a Kennedy Fox book is for you! They’re looking forward to bringing you many more stories to fall in love with!
Places to find us: Instagram.com/kennedyfoxbooks Twitter @kennedyfoxbooks Facebook.com/kennedyfoxbooks http://www.kennedyfoxbooks.com Join our reader group! Email us! Subscribe to our newsletter!
BOOKS BY KENNEDY FOX AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS DUET | TRAVIS & VIOLA CHECKMATE: THIS IS WAR CHECKMATE: THIS IS LOVE A FRIENDS TO LOVERS DUET | DREW & COURTNEY CHECKMATE: THIS IS RECKLESS CHECKMATE: THIS IS EFFORTLESS A SECOND-CHANCE ROMANCE | LOGAN & KAYLA CHECKMATE: THIS IS DANGEROUS CHECKMATE: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL COMING IN 2018 THE BISHOP BROTHERS STANDALONE NOVELS KEEPING HIM NEEDING HIM CHASING HIM TAMING HIM
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS THANK YOU... To our readers who loved Logan & Kayla and wanted to hear their story! To our InstaFam for their continuous support & love! You’re truly apart of our family now! #FoxSquad To our husbands and family, who deal with us during our intense deadlines and crazy work/sleep schedule! To our team who helps us during this process—our betas, cover designer, editor, The Hype PR! To the book community who brought us all together! Donut worry, be happy! -Kennedy Fox