We Thought We Were Invincible (Invincible #1) - Michelle Lynn

We Thought We Were Invincible Invincible Book 1 Michelle Lynn

Copyright (C) 2017 Michelle Lynn Layout design and Copyright (C) 2017 by Creativia Published 2017 by Creativia Cover art by http://www.thecovercollection.com/ This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the author's permission.

Table of Contents Acknowledgments Also by Michelle Lynn Part One Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Part Two Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four Chapter Thirty-Five Chapter Thirty-Six Chapter Thirty-Seven Chapter Thirty-Eight Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty Chapter Forty-One About Michelle

Acknowledgments Helen Keller once said, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” This quote especially rings true in my life, but I think she could have added a bit more to it. “Nothing can be done without hope and confidence and family and friends and lots of love from both.” That love is imperative. It's the love that allows for the patience when dealing with distracted authors. It's the love that forgives the anti-social behaviors and misplaced frustration when a book isn't coming together quite right. It's the love that tells us we are doing something worthwhile. I have a lot of love in my life. This comes in many forms. From my parents who have never once told me that I'm wasting my time when the sales aren't quite there. From my sisters and brother in-laws, Robin, Doug, Mackenzie, and Colby, who support me and give me plenty to write about. My little sister even spent time being my resident skydiving expert for this story. From my niece who can melt my heart with a single smile. Love comes from my beta readers in the form of excellent suggestions to help shape this story. Thank you - Michelle, Linda, Kimberly, Bethany, Kayla, and Patrick. Thanks to everyone at Creativia publishing for taking a chance on a little-known author and doing such excellent work. And of course, everyone who picks up this story. Your love is powerful. It gives me the hope and the confidence to keep going.

Also by Michelle Lynn The Dawn of Rebellion series Dawn of Rebellion Day of Reckoning Eve of Tomorrow The New Beginnings series Choices Promises Dreams Confessions

As Callie is shaped by her friends in this story, I too have been influenced by mine. So this one is for you; the friends I met when I was young, the ones who came into my life in college or after, and the ones who I have yet to know. You make me invincible.

Part One

Chapter One The waves rose up To shake our solid ground Our peace torn away What was once still Raged like an angry storm Destroying, drowning Dragging our refuge To the depths Then all was calm once again And we knew We never were invincible

Chapter Two Callie: The waves rolled towards the shore in perfect formation. Days like this didn't happen much on Florida's Gulf coast; when the surf was perfect, making every board toting salt water junkie forget for a few hours that they didn't live in California or some other surf destination. I was born into a life of tide reports and surf watches. Mom was a self-proclaimed hippie who always said her board would have to be pried out of her cold, stiff fingers when she was old and dead. Well, she didn't get the old part right, but we buried her with her board six years ago. Eyes stinging from saltwater, I lifted my chin and pushed my board away from my chest as it sliced through another wave. The water crashed over me. I drew a long breath when I surfaced and scooped my hands through the water. Almost there, I told my burning arms. Just keep pushing. This, here was what I was used to, what I savored. It reminded me where I was meant to be. The ocean called to me with its silence; its understanding. All my secrets, my feelings, were buried here. I carried them along to watch them sink into the depths. Once the beach was far enough behind me, I sat up, legs dangling on either side of the board. The water lashed against my thighs as I scanned the oncoming waves. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, and my legs kicked the board around. I flattened myself against it and started paddling, the only thing on my mind was conquering that roller. My hands flew through the water rapidly until finally pushing up. I tucked my legs under me and planted my feet on the board, feeling at home as I leaned in to turn. I focused my eyes on the beach and knew it would come too soon. Adrenaline buzzed through my veins as the water sprayed up around me. I didn't see it coming, or I should say I didn't see him coming. Some dumb ass dropped into my wave, catching me off guard. Flinging my arms out to regain my balance, I leaned right when I should have leaned left and my board flew out from under me. The board leash tugged at my ankle as I crashed into the wave. It flipped me over, thoroughly throwing me about. I kicked my legs as hard as I could to be free of the sucking, pulling force. My head broke the surface and the wave tried to drag me back under as I gasped for air. My board, still attached to its leash, was tumbling nearby. I lunged for it and pulled myself up, opting to let the wave push me the rest of the way in. I was done. Being knocked about was nothing new, but this time it wasn't my fault. Anger built from the pit of my stomach that was now full of saltwater. I coughed much of it out and my throat felt raw. A pounding headache was making it hard to see anything but red. The wave broke completely, dissolving into a line of foam rolling towards the shore. It pushed me forward until I could stand. I tore the Velcro on my board leash and heaved my board up under my arm as my feet crashed through the water. I reached the small beach and threw my board onto the sand before marching over to the boy who was running out of the water. He stopped when he saw me. “Jamie Daniels, you idiot!” I shoved him backwards. “That was my wave.” He shrugged, a smirk appearing on his tanned face. “Hello to you too, California.” “The name is Callie, numb nuts.”

“Numb nuts, huh?” He laughed. “Yeah, as in your nuts will be numb when they connect with my knee.” I raised my leg to kick, but he caught it, sending me off balance. He let go as I fell to the sand. “Looks like someone can't seem to stay on her feet today.” He nudged me with his foot. I stood up and huffed out a breath. “I wasn't expecting anyone else to be out here this early.” He cocked his head to the side. “You know you shouldn't surf alone.” “Yeah, cuz you have so many buddies with you.” I gestured to the nearly empty beach around us. “Besides I'm not alone.” His face fell, but he tried to hide it. “Ah, yes. Where is my brother?” “He ran to the car. It's a good thing he didn't see you try to kill me.” “What would you say if I told you I was too lost in my own thoughts to notice you out there?” “Two things. First, that you're full of shit. Second that I don't believe you actually have a thought in your head.” “Why aren't we friends?” he asked, grinning. “Because I hate you.” “Are you two fighting again?” Jayden came up behind me and draped a lazy arm over my shoulders. “He's just being his usual douche-like self.” I turned away from Jamie to look at his brother. “I should go. I promised Kat I'd be at the diner for the Saturday morning rush.” “Waves are dying out here anyway,” Jamie said. “Some of your aunt's waffles sound good right about now.” “Ugh, that was not an invitation for you to come.” I led Jayden across the beach. We climbed over the rocks that sat between the sand and the gravelly parking lot, stopping when we reached my pickup truck. It'd seen better days - peeling red paint made that obvious - but we were old friends. Jay threw my board in the back as I stripped off my rash guard. He didn't surf, but he loved the beach so he was usually up for hanging. I grabbed my clothes from the front seat and pulled on a black t-shirt and knee length jean shorts over my bathing suit. Brushing my hands through my sopping light brown locks, I twisted them into a single braid that hung over my shoulder before hoisting myself into the truck beside Jay. He leaned in to brush his lips lightly over mine and frowned. “Our last beach day of the summer.” “I wish you didn't have to leave,” I said softly. “This summer has been so much fun.” He leaned back and stared at me, his lips finally curving up. “Anyone ever tell you that your eyes look golden when the sun hits them?” “If you don't want to talk about leaving …” “You're beautiful.” He reached out and ran a hand over the top of my head. “I love how the sun lightens the top of your head. That's how I know the surf has been good. Your hair changes color.” “Jay.” I pushed his hand away, coughing uncomfortably. “You remember the deal.” “I do.” He nodded and looked out the window as I started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot. “Okay then, how about this. I'm only going to be a few hours away and I'm sure I'll come home from school for visits and stuff. If both of us are single, let's go out when I'm here.” I glanced sideways and smiled. “It's a date.” I didn't say that it would only be a matter of if he was single because I doubted I'd be anything else. I didn't tend to like people. My aunt Kat laughed about it as if it was some big joke. She was socially adept in a way I could never hope to be. Even my twin brother Colby, in his quiet way, had mad skills in the area. I was different. I preferred my solitude to anything else. That's why I loved the ocean. It gave me strength, peace.

Then there was Jay. He'd been such a huge part of my life. So had Jamie for that matter, whether I liked it or not. We'd all been friends since before I could remember. Unlike Jamie, Jay had always been there for me. He was about to start college and when school ended for the summer, we'd decided to test our friendship on a new level before he left. It was nice … but I didn't feel the things I think I was supposed to feel. I loved the guy, just not in that way. I parked in front of the diner that was already half-full with hungry tourists. Checking the clock on my phone, I realized I was over an hour late. Jay followed me in and sat at the counter as Kat stood in front of me, hands on hips. “You and Allison.” She shook her head, unable to hide a grin. Allison was my mother and the namesake of Ally's diner. Kat liked to tell me I reminded her of mom, her sister. “I hope the surf was good at least.” She tossed me an apron which I caught midair. “It was.” “Table five needs their order taken.” And just like that, my tardiness was forgotten. Kat was good like that. Colby and I were twelve when mom died. Our dad was never in the picture and Kat was the only family we had. She was a twenty-eight-year-old travel photographer who suddenly lost her older sister. Her response? She quit her adventurous job and moved to the small town of Gulf City, Florida to take care of two heartbroken and lonely kids and one failing diner. Table five was taken care of quickly and I started running food out from the kitchen. Anna, the head cook, was cranking orders out quickly. “Duck,” Colby called. I obeyed and he sidestepped me, swinging a bucket of dirty dishes over my head to get to the dishwasher. Leaning on the counter next to my brother, I noticed the bags under his eyes and the tired tilt of his shoulders. “How long have you been here?” I asked. “A couple hours. Kat needed help opening since someone ran out super early.” “Sorry, I know it was my shift, but-” “The waves,” he finished for me. “Yada yada yada. I know. You've been my sister for seventeen years and Jamie has been my best friend for almost as long. I know you guys have that obsession.” “Oh, come on, we rarely get to surf, especially in the summer.” “It's always too flat,” he cut me off again. “I know that too.” “Callie,” Kat called. “Colby.” “Coming,” we said in unison. He rolled his lean shoulders and straightening his glasses as he walked off, looking every bit as confident as he was. At school that confidence paid off. He was quiet, but strong; well liked, popular even, without trying too hard. The perfect combination. He was so very different from me. Our brown hair and dark eyes might give us away as twins, but he was calm and I could be volatile; a fact everyone knew. I followed him to where our aunt was ringing bills into the register. He took over for her as she stepped back into the kitchen and I grabbed the warm plates from the pass-through, setting them in front of Jay and Jamie who now sat beside him. “You guys going to the beach party tonight?” Jamie asked. “The end of summer thing?” I responded skeptically. “I don't know.” “It'll be fun,” Jay pleaded. “One last hurrah before I leave tomorrow.” I laughed, knowing full well I had no other choice. “Fine. Let the debauchery begin.” Jamie clapped his hands together in excitement as I heard my aunt calling me again.

“Duty calls.” Wiping my hands on my apron, I got back to work.

Chapter Three Callie: The beach was packed with kids trying to hold onto the last remnants of summer with both hands. I slipped off my sandals and picked them up with one hand while I held the other out to Jay. I didn't want to be there, but I did want to be with him. My best friend. He smiled at me, the full pearly white kind of smile and pulled me to him. “Hi,” he whispered. “Hi yourself.” “Let's have fun tonight, okay?” He knew exactly what I'd been thinking. This was not my scene. “Stop reading my mind.” I pushed him back slightly and he laughed, wrapping an arm around my waist. “You forget, I know you better than anyone.” “Yeah, don't think I could forget that if I tried.” We walked down the beach towards a fledgling bonfire that was sputtering and trying to pick up steam. Three boys stood around it, arms crossed as they tried to look like they knew what they were doing. “Think they need help?” My brother asked, walking up beside us. “Nah,” Jay and I said at the same time. “You two just want to watch them screw it up.” “That's preposterous,” Jay said in his best British accent, raising one finger in the air towards my brother. Colby swatted it away, shaking his head as I laughed. “Well, I want a fire,” Colby said, walking away. “Besides, I'm not an ass.” When he was out of earshot, Jay held up his hand, pretending it was a microphone. “Well, let's ask his sister about the truthfulness of that last statement.” He angled it towards me. “Well, Jeeves, I think I'd have to say someone's pants are on fire.” “You heard it here first, folks. The pants - the pants are on fire.” We were both holding our stomachs laughing. “Jeeves, huh?” he asked. “It was the British accent.” “Ah, you do get me California girl.” I flinched away from him. “Sorry.” He bumped his shoulder into mine. “It's fine.” My mom named me California because that was the dream. She'd always wanted to live there, surfing every day. It was a dream left unfulfilled. When she got pregnant, she had to be more realistic, moving home to where her ailing father lived. I was eight the first time I asked her about my name. At first I thought I represented something she had to give up. I reached up, touching my cheek as if I could still feel her hand there as she told me I didn't represent a failed dream, only a new one.

Colby was busy putting more driftwood onto the fire as we chose a place to sit. We all had plenty of experience with beach fires. Colby, Jamie, Jay, and I used to have them all the time. We stopped last summer when we were caught enjoying one without a permit. Our fires were some of the only times we all hung out over the last few years. Leaning forward, I dug my hands into the warm sand, feeling it shift back into place with every movement, each grain knowing where it belonged. The golden sun hung just where the water met the sky on the horizon, casting colors across the darkening space. “Want something to drink?” Jay asked. “Sure.” He got up to leave just as Colby walked towards me with Morgan Cook by his side. I didn't have anything against Morgan, but I didn't particularly like her either. She was one of those girls that everything seemed to come too easy for. Everyone wanted to be her friend. She was gorgeous with her cute blond bob and athletic build. No one could match her on the Soccer field. Her dad was a bigwig doctor at the hospital in town, yet never missed any of her games, sitting there with his perfect wife. Was it wrong to be jealous? Was I a horrible person to wish she was a bitch? But no, she was so damn nice that I felt guilty for even disliking her a little bit. “Callie,” Colby called. “Is this great, or what?” He gestured back to the fire that was now building rapidly. “You did great, oh genius one.” I bent at the waist to give him a bow. “You're just green that you don't get to be the hero of the final party before prison is back in session.” “Yeah, if by green you mean ready to puke.” I mimed vomit coming out of my mouth and Colby swatted me on the side of the head. After socking him in the stomach, I looked up to find Morgan grinning at us. “Oh, go on.” She held her hands in front of her chest. “This'll be the most entertainment I get tonight.” Colby straightened up at that, probably realizing fighting with his sister in front of one of the most popular girls in school wasn't the best of ideas. “I can think of better entertainment.” He grinned. “Ew, gross,” I yelled. “Now I really am going to puke. Dude, if that was flirting, you're in serious trouble.” They exchanged a look, one I'd seen before. “Wait.” I grabbed my brother's arm. “Did you start dating Morgan Cook and not tell me?” He dragged me out of ear shot of her. “What's the big deal?” “Um, how about she's out of your league.” “Gee, thanks.” “You know what I mean. Different circles and all that.” “In case you haven't noticed, California, me and you don't exactly have the same friends. Basically, I have them and you don't.” “Shove off.” I stormed by him and walked right by Morgan without so much as a nod. When Jay found me again, I was sitting by myself. Handing me a red cup filled with God knows what, he sat down and pulled me close. I leaned into him, knowing that once he left, my brother would be right. I'd be alone. * * *

An hour passed, and then another. I'd never been one for drinking, preferring control over letting go, but that night I didn't care. I wanted to feel the freedom I always felt when I was out on the water. The willingness to bare my soul out amongst the waves. But you can't hold onto something like that. You can't call it up at will. Out on the waves, it's a different world with different rules. Those rules didn't apply to solid ground. My head buzzed, creating fog where there once was clarity. Jay and I walked down to a more secluded part of the beach, away from the noise of my classmates. Classmates I barely knew because I didn't let them know me. I sat in Jay's lap facing him as he kissed my neck, rubbing his hands up and down my back. I placed my hands on each side of his face and tilted it up so I could kiss him long and hard. His lips were warm, a familiar comfort and needed distraction from life. He was leaving early tomorrow morning and I couldn't get that goodbye out of my head. I couldn't say it so I pressed harder against him, moving more quickly. Jay was the only boy I'd ever kissed. The first time was a month after my mom died. He did it to get my mind off of her, saying he was being a friend. He'd used that tactic ever since. Whenever I'd be upset, he shocked me out of it with his lips. They were sneak attacks and they always worked. Then this summer, they ceased being surprises and became normal. Now I had to try harder to clear my mind. He held me to him until I leaned back and gripped the edge of my shirt, pulling it over my head in one swift motion. “Callie,” he whispered. “Don't say it.” I threw my shirt to the sand and leaned in to kiss him again, cutting off further protest. His hands gripped my waist, but when I reached up to unclasp my bra, he took my hands in his, breaking his lips away from mine. “Stop, Callie.” At those two words, I scrambled off his lap and lunged for my shirt, desperate to cover up my humiliation. “I don't know what your problem is.” I climbed to my feet, wanting to run away. “My problem,” he huffed as he clambered up. “Is that my best friend is drunk and I'm not going to take advantage of her.” “I'm not drunk.” “Fine, but you aren't sober either.” “Do you not want me?” I hated the pathetic sound of my voice as the doubt crept in. My whole life, I told myself I didn't have many friends because I didn't want to, but in the back of my mind lived the thread of self-pity. “Oh God.” He scratched the back of his head, his black hair blending in to the night surrounding us. “I've wanted you as long as I can remember. But, Cal, I'm not going to be your escape. You love me, right?” “Of course.” He put a hand on each of my shoulders to look me in the eye. “But you aren't in love with me.” My shoulders dropped. “I don't think I love you that way either,” he continued. “I think you should go.” My fuzzy thoughts were turning quickly to anger. I knew it wasn't right, but couldn't help myself. “You're probably right. I have to leave early.” He took my hand and I let him lead me back to the party without another word. I couldn't stand the thought of a long, drawn out goodbye in Jay's car as he dropped me off so I told him to leave without me. He hesitated.

“My brother can drive me home.” Another long moment passed and he leaned in for one final kiss. “You're my best friend,” he whispered. “Don't forget that.” I forced a smile to my lips and nodded towards the parking lot, watching him walk away. Turning towards the crowd, I forced my way through. Jamie sat playing his guitar for a crowd of people, his surprisingly sweet voice drifting through the air. Shaking my head at the girls trying to lean in closer to him, I tried to clear it of this crippling selfpity that was working its way into my psyche. I'd have given anything to be on my board. I was standing on the water's edge, staring into the black foaming waves when Morgan walked up beside me. “Are you okay?” she asked. I looked sideways, trying to gage the sincerity of her question. I couldn't tell what she wanted. Maybe it was the three drinks I'd had, or the fact that my best and only true friend just left, but I was tired of shunning everyone. Tired of my suspicion and disdain. I was tired of being alone. “No,” I finally admitted, looking out at the sea once again. “I'm not okay.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and nodded. I walked forward, wanting one thing. The beach sloped into the water slowly, until it dropped off. I knew exactly where that point was and I dove in without a second thought. The water encased me, molding to me to let me pass through, suspended, weightless. My jeans worked to drag me down so my hands unbuckled them and slid the stiff fabric down my legs, knowing my underwear wasn't any more revealing than my bathing suit. When I came up for air, I noticed a group of people milling at the edge of the water, looking for me. “Callie!” Morgan's voice rose above the rest. I continued to float, giving my legs a slight kick to push me towards the beach. The waves tonight were small rollers that push me up as they churned. My hair floated out behind me, surrounding my head. The noise grew louder as I moved closer to the shore. “Come on, Callie,” Morgan said as soon as she spotted me. “You shouldn't swim at night.” I didn't answer, but guilt seeped in. I didn't want to worry her. She didn't know there was less out here to hurt me than there was in there. The warm water washed away the last bits of haze and I was more clear headed than I'd been all night. I stood up, completely forgetting I'd removed my jeans. There were snickers coming from a few boys nearby as I waded in, making me feel a selfconsciousness that hadn't been there only moments before. My legs stopped moving, refusing to come in any closer. I tugged on the edges of my shirt, trying to pull it down as much as I could. The laughter grew louder. “Shut up.” I heard Morgan snap. They didn't listen. “Hey,” a boy said, walking up next to her. Tony Andrews. “You're looking good tonight, Callie.” When I didn't respond, he took it as a cue to keep going. “If you want to hang out with me, I promise you won't need pants.” His friends laughed nearby. “Come on.” He stepped forward and grabbed my arm forcefully, pulling me out of the water. A shiver ran up my spine as a breeze lifted the hair on my arms. It snapped me out of my embarrassment and I tried to twist my arm out of his grasp. When that didn't work, I kneed him in the leg and he let go. “What the hell,” he yelled, his words slightly slurred. His friends had backed away, offering no help. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Morgan run off. So much for being friends. “Leave me the hell alone,” I snarled. “Cat's got bite.” Tony laughed.

“Come any closer and I'll show you how hard I can bite, and not the way I know you're thinking.” Tony Andrews had always been a jerk, but now he was a drunk jerk. He reached out and tried to grab me again, but I spun out of his reach. “Hey asshole,” someone said behind Tony. He turned into Jamie's fist.

Chapter Four Jamie: “Jamie!” Morgan Cook came running up to where I'd been sitting with a few girls from school, playing my guitar. “Do you know where Colby is?” She glanced behind her nervously and that was when I heard it. “Callie,” Tony Andrews' unmistakable douche-like voice cut through the music. My eyes met Morgan's pleading gaze and my fingers stopped their strumming. I brushed Amelia off, who'd had her hand on my shoulder and her chest pressed against my arm. A moment ago, it'd been making my night, but now I shoved my guitar at her and jumped to my feet. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd stormed across the beach, my fist connecting to Tony's face with a loud crunch. He hadn't seen me coming. I ducked a return punch and then tackled him to the ground. I wasn't nearly as wasted as Tony and had the upper hand, but he still got a few good hits in. People came running from the bonfire to see what was happening, but all I could hear was the anger rushing in my ears. I wanted to kill the dude for touching Cal, or trying to. My mind briefly registered Callie pulling on her sand covered jeans and backing away. Others moved in to break up the fight, but I was on a roll, not stopping until my buddy Eric pulled me away. “What's your damage, Daniels?” Tony snapped, wiping blood from his split lip. I stepped close, looking him in the eye. Despite the size he had on me, I refused to be intimidated. “Leave Callie the hell alone.” Backing away, I looked around. Callie was gone. “She went that way,” Morgan told me, her mouth hanging open in the same shock the rest of our classmates were showing. I took off the way Morgan had pointed. “Ass,” Tony said to my back. I let him get away with it because Callie was more important. The noise from the crowd disappeared amid the crashing of the waves and I knew why she'd come this far. Callie would never admit it, but the two of us understood each other. We always had. We may not exactly be friends, but that was by no choice of mine. I found her sitting in the sand with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her small body trembled as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her sopping phone. “For Christ's sake,” she yelled. I watched her silently as she sniffed and buried her face in her arms. What was it about that girl that had me punching people and leaving girls like Amelia behind? I'd felt that way for years, not like she'd notice. She froze suddenly, as if sensing me. “What do you want?” she asked, lifting her head to look at me. “That's not a thank you,” I responded. God, why did I always say things like that around her? She let out a grunt. I chuckled, trying to hide my nervousness as I sat beside her. “To tell you the truth,” I started, turning serious. “I was worried about you.” “Since when do you care?” Okay, maybe I deserved that. I didn't answer her question, but only because I knew she'd laugh in my face if I said it out loud. I

knew what she thought of me. She never tried to hide it. Her bluntness was one of the things I'd always liked about her. “Senior year starts on Monday,” I said instead. “No shit, Sherlock.” I grinned in the dark. “Can we call a truce?” “Why?” Skepticism clouded her voice. “Well, I did just beat up the prized football team's tight end for you.” That finally got her to laugh. “I meant why do you want a truce?” “I've always wanted us to be friends. You're the one who hates me.” The truth of my words stung as I spoke them, but I hid it with a smirk. “I'm not going to stop fighting you.” “Good.” I laughed, glad she was considering it. “We couldn't have that.” Her laugh was interrupted by uncontrollable shivering. “I'm such an idiot,” I cursed myself. “No argument here.” Her teeth chattered. “You're freezing. Of course you are.” I pulled my shirt over my head. “What're you doing?” She shrank away. “Getting you out of your wet shirt at least.” Holding my dry one out to her, “Take this.” She was so cold she didn't argue or even wait for me to turn away before stripping off her sopping shirt. Her skin shone in the dark and I had to bury my hands in the sand to keep from reaching out to touch her. Having mercy on me, she quickly threw my shirt on over her head. God, she looked good in that shirt. Callie wasn't the usual kind of girl I'd dated and there'd been a lot of them. I wasn't what you'd call the relationship type. But there'd always been something about this girl that kept me around. It helped that her brother was my best friend and I spent more time at their house than my own. I watched her, my eyes latching onto hers. “Thank you,” she said finally. “It's just a shirt.” “No, I mean for earlier.” My lips turned up. Maybe Callie and I could be friends after all. “Just make me a promise.” “What?” “Let's make this year epic.” “Okay,” she said slowly. “I mean it. This time next summer, we'll all be going our separate ways. I don't want to leave with any regrets. We can be great this year.” I leaned forward, excitement spilling forth. Callie stared out across the water for a long moment before nodding her head and turning back to me. Something unspoken swirled in her eyes and I knew she needed this just as much as I did. And she knew I was right. We were young. We were free. We could do anything. This was the feeling we both needed. What we'd only found one place. And now it was here, brought by the most unlikely of people. She pursed her lips, still meeting my eyes and then finally grinned. “Epic, huh?”

Chapter Five Callie: “Callie, wake up,” Aunt Kat called for the third time. “We're going to be late.” I rolled over with a groan and pressed my face into my pillow. “I'm not kidding, kid!” When she used “Kid” I knew she must be really annoyed. Most of the time she indulged my perpetual lateness, anything that reminded her of her sister, but I also had a tendency to push her over the edge. At the sound of my door opening, I rolled back over and sat up rubbing my eyes. “You don't look like Kat.” “Whew, that's a relief,” Colby said. The bed bounced as he threw his weight onto it. “How are you so awake when you got home later than me last night?” I asked, yawning. “It's my superpower.” He looked around my messy room, clothes strewn about, and raised an eyebrow. “I thought you cleaned this yesterday.” “I did.” “Okaaay. Why did Jamie drive you home last night? He missed the last half of the party. Frankly I'm surprised you guys got along long enough to sit in the same car.” I grabbed my pillow from behind me and whacked him with it. “We aren't that bad.” “Yes.” He took the pillow from me. “You are.” It was obvious Morgan hadn't told Colby what happened and I didn't feel the need to mention it. I don't know why she kept it to herself, but I was grateful. Colby didn't need to get into a fight on the first day of senior year. Not like he was usually a fighter, but he was protective of me whether he always showed it or not. “Jamie was just being nice,” I finally said. “That doesn't sound like him at all.” His voice was skeptical, but he let it go. “Anyways, Kat's going to have a coronary if you make us late for church again.” I sighed. “Fine.” Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I looked at him. “See? Getting up. I can be ready in twenty. Tell Kat you succeeded in your mission.” He nodded, a small triumphant smile curving his lips. As he left, his words from the night before came back to me. I knew we wouldn't talk about the fight. That wasn't our style. Fake it 'til you make it and all that. Whenever we argued, we'd act like it hadn't happened, both of us hoping the other would forget our harsh words. We never did. Colby and I were too different to be what we needed each other to be. We were inseparable as kids and then the unthinkable happened. Everything was ripped away until all we had was each other, only we didn't really have each other anymore. Even once Kat took us in, we were both desperately lonely. The difference was, he snapped out of it much sooner than me. That loneliness still lingered in the back of my mind, creating a wall between my brother and me. I took a super quick shower before drying off and throwing on a pair of khaki shorts and silk shirt. Tying my wet hair into a messy bun, I looked in the mirror at my puffy eyes, dabbing the tiniest bit of foundation on under then. Some quick eyeliner and I was as ready as I'd ever be. I slipped my flip flops on, knowing full well how some of the women in the church would view them. If it was up to them, we'd all be wearing hideous floral dresses with heels that were too difficult to

walk in. No thank you. This was as dressed up as I got. Kat and Colby were waiting by the front door when I came out of my room and we rushed out to the car. We lived in an old pre-fab house in Gulf City's south side. Three bedrooms with a small kitchen and living space. It wasn't anything special, but it was all we'd ever known. When mom died, Kat didn't have the heart to sell it and she took care of it as much as she could, but she was one person. The yellow exterior paint was peeling, in desperate need of a new coat. The driveway was cracked, but still usable. Florida isn't kind to houses. Between the storms and the heat, they took a beating. It took us ten minutes to get to the church in Kat's old Chevy Tahoe. Gulf City Presbyterian was at the center of town. It wasn't the only church in the area, but it was the biggest. Stained glass windows adorned the front of the brick structure, giving it an air of opulence. Perfectly manicured lawn surrounded white pillars along the walkway from the parking lot to the front door. “See,” I said. “We aren't late. People are still arriving.” Neither Colby or Kat responded as the large glass doors were held open for us. The greeter extended bulletins towards us and we thanked him. “Colby,” Morgan said, walking up to us. Well, walking was probably the wrong word. It was like she bounced everywhere she went. “Hi Morgan,” Kat said affectionately. “Wait, how do you know Morgan?” I asked. “Was I the only one who didn't know about this?” I waggled my finger between my brother and the girl who was now holding onto his arm. “You've been kind of wrapped up in your own stuff this summer, Cal,” Colby said, not meeting my eyes. Was he right? I tried to think back on this summer, remembering only that I surfed when the waves came in and was with Jay the rest of the time. I didn't get a chance to think on it more, because Colby led us to a pew right behind Jamie and his parents. I slid in next to Kat, working hard not to notice the boy who was trying to get my attention in front of me. “Earth to Callie,” Jamie whispered, eliciting a glare from his father. “What?” I asked. “Don't tell me you're reneging on our deal.” I looked up and saw him staring at me like he actually cared if I did back out. Could we really be friends? If I declined to go on his quest for greatness, he'd have others lining up to take him up on it. “I don't know what's in it for you,” I admitted. “Did Jay put you up to this? Ask you to look out for me or something?” His expression turned confused and slightly hurt. “James Candice Daniels,” his father said. “If you don't turn around right now and shut your mouth…” He let the threat hang there and much to my surprise, Jamie did as he said, slumping in his seat. The service started and it was just like any other service on any other Sunday. Reverend Jones was a good speaker, but it never felt like he was speaking to me, like I could relate. I zoned out and instead thought of Jamie. He'd seemed hurt when I questioned his motives, yet he had to see why I would. I've known him my whole life. We were even friends once. As we grew older, he stayed close to Colby and Jay stayed close to me. It'd been like that for years and I'd assumed that was how it'd stay. Usually, the two of us bickered like siblings. If I thought hard about it, I didn't actually hate him, and the more I thought about it, I didn't know why I thought I did. Maybe being friends with him would mean this year didn't have to be as bad as I thought. We filed out of the church an hour later. Colby watched as Jamie followed me. For the first time, I got a look at the other side of his face and gasped. He was sporting a nasty bruise

that ran along his cheekbone. “Jamie, oh my God.” I reached out and touched it. He winced, but didn't push me away. “I'm so sorry.” “Tony had it coming.” He shrugged. “I guess it's not the first fight you've been in.” He was a known hot head. On the soccer field, in the school halls, at the beach. Pretty much anywhere he went, there was a chance he'd throw a punch. “No,” he chuckled. “It's not. Look, I know it's weird, me just saying I want to hang out with you, but we used to be friends.” “That was a long time ago.” “Do you remember two years ago, when Alex Terrel suddenly stopped bullying you?” “Yeah, I always assumed Colby talked to him.” “Terrel was not about to listen to reason,” he scoffed. “More like he had words with my fists.” When I was silent, he continued. “Or last year when I went out with Kendra Lane? You were so mad at me.” “Because she was never anything but a bitch to me. She snapped the fin on my favorite board.” “Then she suddenly stopped,” he said. “That's why you agreed to go on a date.” I started to catch on. “See, I've always been your friend. And yes, Jay may have asked me to keep an eye on you, but I would have done it anyway.” “Jamie Daniels, you aren't nearly as much of a jerk as everyone says you are.” “Just don't tell anyone. Have I convinced you yet? For some reason, I think we'd have fun. Plus, with Jay gone again you've got to be desperate for friends.” “Gee, you really know how to sweet talk a girl,” I deadpanned. “I'm not trying to sweet talk you,” he laughed. “If I was, you'd know.” I shoved him as we kept walking, not answering. Instead, I smirked. “So, your middle name is Candice, huh?” “Not a word,” he growled. “How did I not know about this?” “It's not exactly something I share. It's a family name.” “Can I call you Candy?” “I'm trusting you with my life here,” he pleaded. When I stayed silent, torturing him, he grabbed my arm and spun me to look at him. “Not. A. Word.” “Whatever you say, Candy.” * * * Monday came way too early. The last first day of school. Unless I go to college that is. Ugh, college. I didn't even want to think about it. Colby knew exactly where he wanted to go and already had a scholarship offer to play soccer. Me, I had no clue what my future held, but I wasn't sure it was more classrooms and lectures. I stood at the front counter in the diner making coffee as Kat was back in the kitchen with the morning cook, preparing the first orders. “Hey sweetheart.” I whipped around, expecting to scowl at whoever it was that called me sweetheart, only to find Seth Franklin sitting at the counter. He always used that nickname for me and I let him get away with it because

he was just a sweet old man. “Morning Seth.” I poured him a cup of coffee and slid it across the counter. “What can I get you?” “Shouldn't you be at school, young lady?” “Free first period all year. I'll be leaving soon.” “Oh good. An education is important, you know.” “Thanks for the tip, Seth.” He laughed suddenly. “Yeah, here I am going on about things you already know. Listen, my grandson is a senior, like you this year. Think you could keep an eye on him?” “Sure thing. What's his name?” “Matthew.” I nodded, knowing exactly who the kid was. Everyone did. If Morgan Cook represented one end of the popularity spectrum, Matthew was the other end. Seth put in his order and I laid it on the pass-through window before balling up my apron and tossing it under the counter. “Bye Kat.” “See you after school.” She looked up pointedly. “Try to be nice to people today.” I shook my head, grabbed my backpack, and headed out the door. Was I really that bad? It really sucked when you started to see what your family thought of you. Colby didn't like to be around me, or at least didn't try, and Kat thought I was pathetic. Just wonderful. My truck sputtered to life and I drove the two miles from the diner to school. The halls were empty save for the other seniors lucky enough to have a free first period. Finding my locker, I tried my new combination. “Shit,” I grumbled when it failed to open on the third try. “Need help?” A tentative voice asked beside me. Morgan stood there with her perfect makeup and even better outfit. A pair of cuffed jean shorts hugged her hips below a baby doll t-shirt that never would have looked that good on me. I stepped out of the way and she got my locker open on the first try. Was there anything she didn't do well? “It's a bit finicky,” she said, trying to make me feel less like an idiot. “Yeah, I guess.” Grabbing the books for my first two classes, I shut it, the sound echoing down the hall. “What do you have first?” Morgan asked awkwardly. I didn't know why she suddenly insisted on talking to me after years of silence, but had a sneaking suspicion that Colby was behind it. “Creative writing,” I answered just as awkwardly. “Me too!” This seemed to make her less nervous. “We can totally walk together.” “Uh, sure.” Kat's voice suddenly popped into my head telling me to be nice. One of her favorite things to say over the years had been to try harder. Well Kat, here you go. The bell rang, releasing hordes of students into the hall. The surrounding noise lessened the need for me and Morgan to talk on our way to class. “Here it is,” Morgan said, leading me inside. I found a seat near the back and she took the one beside me. Did she know these would probably remain our seats all semester? A few of her friends walked in and I was sure she was going to move, but she just waved to them as they sat near us. “Can you say sexy?” Morgan whispered, leaning towards me and nodding towards the man who'd just walked in. “Is he Mr. Chase?” someone else said. He was young, the youngest teacher I'd ever had. Tall, wide shoulders, styled black hair, and the

beginnings of a beard, he was also the hottest teacher I'd ever had. Scratch that - the only hot teacher. “Hello,” he said, a thick British accent evident. “I'm Mr. Chase.” “Oh my God,” Morgan gasped. I silently agreed. “I am your creative writing teacher,” he continued, doing his best to make eye contact with each person in the small class. “This is my first year at Gulf City High. Before this, I was teaching at a school in Tampa. A little about me, hmmm …” He tapped his long fingers against his chin. “I don't know if you can hear my accent. It's barely there anymore.” Pausing for laughter, he wasn't disappointed. “But I'm from just outside of London. I lived there until I was seventeen. Then I moved to Florida with my mum and went to Uni in Tampa.” A girl in the front raised her hand. “Yes?” he asked. “And how old are you now?” she asked with a small giggle. Indulging her, he answered. “Thirty-one.” “Now,” he continued. “This year we are going to work on your writing, but it's going to be fun. Writing should always be fun, or else what's the point of doing it?” The class was overwhelmingly female and he had our rapt attention as he went over the syllabus. When class ended, a few girls stayed back, including Morgan, and I used that as my cover to slide out without having to talk to anyone. There was no way Calc was going to be as interesting. I kept my head down as I walk through the crowded hall. If I didn't make eye contact, I wouldn't have to interact. It turned out, someone had other ideas. I felt a hand wrap around my upper arm. Remembering Saturday night, my fight instinct kicked in and I spun around before being pushed into an unused classroom. The door was shut behind me. “What the hell, Jamie?” I yelled, shoving him into the wall as I felt the usual anger he evoked rising up. “Chill, will you?” “Only when you leave me alone.” “Here we go again.” He threw his arms up in the air. “Look, I didn't mean that how it sounded. I'm just not used to you actually talking to me at school.” “It was you who didn't talk to me.” He pointed at me to emphasize his point. “That's ridiculous.” “You're ridiculous,” he countered. “Your mom's ridiculous.” A laugh burst out of him. “Did you just 'your momma' me?” I smirked. “Ended the argument, didn't it?” “I thought you liked arguing with me?” “You just make it so easy.” I laughed. “Well, do you want to know why I'm making you late to class?” he asked excitedly. I looked at the clock on the wall and turned towards the door. “Shit. I have to get to Calc.” “No, you have to get to the beach.” That stopped me. I turned back around and looked up at him. “Why?” “There's a storm coming.” He grinned.

Chapter Six Jamie: I wasn't lying exactly. We were expected to be getting a storm next week, but it wouldn't be kicking up the waves quite yet. I was banking on the fact that Callie had been too distracted by the start of school to check herself. Skipping the first day of school was probably stupid, but it was senior year and the beach was calling. Plus, I'd been dying to hang out with Cal since the beach party on Saturday. I still had no illusions that she thought of me as someone worthy of her time, someone as good as my brother Jay, the future lawyer who had everything together. No, I was the screw up of the family and everyone saw that eventually. We stopped to grab my board at my place before driving to Callie's house. I stepped into the bathroom and pulled on my trunks, not bothering with a rash guard this time of year. Plus, I didn't even know if we'd be surfing. Callie met me at the front door, board shorts and rash guard snugly in place. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. We grabbed her board from the garage, strapped it to the roof and got in the car. Callie fidgeted next to me as the beach came into view. “I promised Kat this year would be different,” she said quietly, picking at the hem of her top. The year before Callie had gotten in a lot of trouble for skipping school. That was no secret. I'd been around for many of her fights with Kat about it. Hitting my palm against the steering wheel, I said “Shit, Cal. I should have thought about that.” “When the waves come to town, you don't miss their visit.” She was right. Good swells were rare this time of year. And it was even more scarce to have two in one week. After Saturday, I was expecting it to be a while before I would be riding on top of the water again, and I never thought it'd be with Callie McCoy. This time of year was notoriously flat, but a storm could change that in a heartbeat. I'd used that to get her here. God, please let there be something surfable. “You ready?” I asked. “Let's just get wet.” She pulled her board out and walked by me, swinging it so I had to jump out of the way to keep from being hit. “I could make so many jokes right now, but I won't.” I chuckled. “Good, because I'd kill you.” “Oh California, sweetheart, you'd try.” This time she actually did hit me with her board, stepping up onto the rocks. When she caught sight of the water, she froze. “Jamie, where did you hear about the waves?” “I just saw a storm was coming and …” I stopped as I saw what she saw. It was flat. “Nice going, Candy.” The nickname stung as she dropped her board in the sand and stormed down to the water's edge. “Look,” I said, walking up behind her. “I'm sorry.”

“Kat is so going to kill me.” She sat down in the shallow water. In the distance, the sandbar could be seen, but no waves broke on it. I sat next to her, pushing my hair out of my eyes. “Have I told you I hate you today?” she said. “Why?” I asked. “What?” “You've never told me why you hate me. I've never been able to figure it out.” “The list is too long.” “Well, we're already out of school. I don't have anywhere to be.” I sat still, waiting. “First, you're an idiot. You've always been an idiot.” “Dumber than a box of bricks, got it.” I nodded for her to keep going. “You never take anything seriously. You have this perfect life and you don't even get it. You're great at soccer without even trying. Everyone loves you. Both your parents are around. And all you do is try to screw it up.” I didn't respond to that. She didn't know how untrue those words were. We'd known each other most of our lives and I suddenly realized she didn't really know me at all. “And you call me California.” “That's your name,” I said quietly. “I tell you to stop, yet you never do. Don't you think there's a reason I don't want you calling me that? You don't listen. You don't really know anything about me.” “Yet you're making all these judgments,” I said tersely, anger rising from the depths. “And you definitely don't know a damn thing about me.” I got to my feet, brushing off my butt, and walked back towards my car. I couldn't stand to be there one second longer. “One day, Callie,” I called back. “You're going to realize that the reason you don't like anyone has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Get in the car. I'm taking you home.”

Chapter Seven Callie: “Callie McCoy,” Kat said as soon as I stepped through the door. She stood with hands on hips and feet firmly planted in the kitchen. My feet dragged as I made my way towards her, knowing what was coming. “Your first day.” She shook her head, but her eyes never left my face. “I thought this year was going to be different.” “It is,” I said, sliding into a chair at the table. “Then why is the school calling me at noon, saying you've missed all your morning classes?” “I went to my first class.” At the look on her face, I changed tactics. “Why are you even home?” “Because I'm not the only person who works at the diner.” “Coulda fooled me. You're always there.” “I don't need a commentary on my life, thank you. This is about you and the fact that this year is important.” I stood, not wanting to hear more of the same. “I get it. College. Life. Success.” She didn't say another word as I walked out. I didn't plan on the whole college thing, but she didn't need to know that yet. How was I going to ever tell her? My grades would probably get me into some podunk school, without all the scholarships my brother was going to get, but it just wasn't for me. I didn't know what I wanted to do come graduation, but I knew it wasn't that. Colby wanted to be a doctor, of course. I just wanted to be happy, if I could figure out how to do that. Kat got a degree in photography and tasted success as a travel photographer before being saddled with us. Mom was different though. She was like me and I think she was happy. I still saw her wide smile through the eyes of a twelve-year-old. Even then, when she was sick, it was there. And being young, I always took it at face value. If you smiled, you were happy. Now I wonder what existed behind it. I went into my bedroom and quickly changed out of my surf attire before sitting on my bed and reaching underneath it for the box I always kept there. Lifting off the lid, I pulled out the photos within. My most valuable possessions. The first one I saw was my mom with a toddler on each knee. Her eyes shone as she looked at us. Flipping through, I found my favorite. She was standing with her arm around a much younger Kat with the beach as a backdrop. A surf board lay behind them and perfect waves rolled in the distance. They both squinted into the sun, with matching pearly white smiles. A soft tap on the door snapped me back to reality. Wiping my eyes, I told Kat to come in. She pushed open the door and smiled when she took in the pictures surrounding me. Taking care not to sit on any, she lowered herself to the bed beside me. “That's my favorite.” She gestured to the picture still in my hands. “Mine too,” I admitted, giving her a weak smile. “I must have been only like fifteen there.” “That'd make mom twenty-five.” “She was crazy, your mom,” Kat laughed. “The waves that day were huge, but she wasn't one to back down. And, you know what, she surfed them well. Whenever anyone told her she couldn't do something,

she'd do it just to prove them wrong. You remind me so much of her.” “Yeah?” “It isn't all good.” Kat grew serious. “You couldn't tell her to do anything she didn't want to do. Sometimes I thought she tried to get in trouble.” “Like having us.” Kat was quiet for a long moment. “No. Your father was not in the picture, but she never once thought that what he gave her wasn't good. You and your brother were the best part of her life.” I leaned back into my pillows to hide my face as tears welled in my eyes. “I just worry about you, kid. I see you closing yourself off to people and that was not who your mother was. At the same time, I wish you'd take things seriously.” I started to protest and she put her hand up to stop me. “Things other than surfing,” she clarified. The bed shifted as she stood. “You and Colby were the best things to ever happen to your mother, and you were also the best things to happen to me.” I wiped my eyes, watching her as she left my room. Spending the rest of the day in my room, I watched videos on my computer. Around five, the front door slammed and voices drifted past my room. “You missed school,” Colby was saying. “Is it any wonder coach made you run extra laps.” “It's just not fair. I'm the best forward we have,” Jamie groused. “Excuse me? Cocky much?” “My point is that coach shouldn't be running me ragged if he expects me to play well in our first game tomorrow.” Just what I needed. I sighed, banging my head against the door frame. “Cal,” Colby called. “I'm right here.” I stepped into view, avoiding Jamie's eyes. That wasn't a problem because he was doing the same. “Kat called and said she'd be at the diner 'til late, but she doesn't need us tonight.” “Fine.” I turned to walk back into my room. “You hungry?” he asked. “We're ordering a pizza.” “Sure.” I turned to face him again. “Hawaiian?” He scrunched up his face. “If by that you mean sausage and pepper, then yes.” “Okay. Let me know when it's here.” Forty-five minutes later I was sitting at the kitchen table across from Jamie, with Colby on my left and the pizza in front of me. I kept my mouth full so I wouldn't have to talk, but Jamie did enough of that for all of us. “I can't believe you're going out with Amelia,” Colby said. Jamie feigned nonchalance. “It's been a while since Jess.” Jess was the girl he'd dated over the summer. “I wouldn't call two weeks exactly long,” I snapped. Where did that come from? “Oh, she speaks,” Colby yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth and completely ignorant of the daggers Jamie and I were shooting at each other. “I was wondering where my sister went.” “Two weeks is long enough when you have a chance with a girl like Amelia,” Jamie said. “Anyway, enough about her. How is my dear brother doing without the love of his life by his side at college?” I clenched my fist on the table. “We're not … ugh … you know what? It doesn't matter. I don't need to explain myself or my friendship with Jay to the likes of you.” I pushed my chair back and shot to my feet before storming away and slamming my door. Jamie's chuckling permeated the thin walls.

“I've gotta take a piss.” I heard him tell my brother. I paced the length of my room, clenching and unclenching my fists. Before I realized it had opened, my bedroom door shut and I spun around to find myself face to face with the infuriating blond soccer Phenom himself. “What do you think you're doing?” I asked as the breath left my lungs and he stepped closer. He took me by the shoulders and I protested weakly as he pinned me to the wall. His head dipped suddenly and he was kissing me before I could even think. I didn't respond. Instead, I pushed at his chest and he released me. “What?” I breathed. “It's just that you're hot when you're angry.” He grinned. The heat rose in my face. “You can't just go kissing people.” “Why not?” He shrugged, laughing as I moved out of the way to let him walk out the door. As I watched him go, I realized that he really did think he could do whatever he wanted. I ran a finger across my still tingling lips, knowing full well it hadn't meant anything. It was an impulse. I should have been angry, but all I could think was that I wanted to do it again. That thought quickly turned into guilt when I looked at my ringing phone to see Jay's name lighting up the screen. Quickly throwing my phone as if it'd burned me, I sunk onto my bed, unable to do much else.

Chapter Eight Jamie: The taste of Callie's lips still lingered on mine as I punched out a response to Amelia's millionth text of the day. Okay, I was exaggerating, but the girl was already getting on my nerves and we hadn't even gone out yet. I ran into her after soccer practice. It was only hours after seeing Callie and my anger hadn't abated. I needed something to distract me from the girl I'd wanted for so long. The girl that I couldn't have for many reasons. Both our brothers being some of them. “Dude, we need to talk,” Colby had said as soon as I got to practice. “What's up?” I bent down, pretending to tie my shoe. Something in his tone told me I wouldn't like what he was about to say. “Did you skip with Callie this morning?” I straightened up, but still didn't look him in the eye. “Yeah.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “Man, I know you've had this weird obsession with protecting her over the years, but she doesn't need any of your head games.” “I don't play games.” He leveled me with a stare and I finally met his eyes, releasing a long breath. “Fine. Jamie. Bad.” “She's my sister, ya know?” he went on. “We're friends,” I stated. “Sort of. That's it.” Then I said the one thing that killed me to admit. “Plus, you think my brother would ever forgive me if I went there?” Coach interrupted us then and set us on a grueling practice. By the time Amelia found me, I was sitting on the bench with a towel thrown over my head. Colby went ahead to the locker room, leaving us alone. Exhaustion. Anger. Whatever else I was feeling. It all led to me asking her to dinner. She graced me with a wide smile and hadn't stopped texting me since. Date set, I threw my phone on my bedside table and laid down. Why the hell had I kissed Callie? I didn't even like her in that moment, but something drew me to her. That mouth. So sweet. It wasn't the first time my lips acted independently of my mind. In fact, that was how I usually operated. But not with her. Not with my best friend's sister, the girl my brother loved. He'd never told me he loved her, but the way they were together was obvious. Groaning, I closed my eyes, trying to forget my impulsiveness. Before I could fall asleep, my bedroom door crashed open and my father's imposing figure filled the space. “Dad.” I sighed, sitting up to face him. “I got a call from the school today,” his voice boomed. “Skipping on your first day. I shouldn't have been surprised. When will you stop being such a disappointment, James?” “I guess when you stop expecting things from me.” I clicked on the light beside my bed, his face coming into view. “Impertinence,” he growled, lunging for the bed. I didn't fight it. That'd only make it worse. It was one of the more important lessons I'd learned as a kid. The other was that my face was safe and covering it only exposed my ribs.

Dad grabbed my arm with his vice-like grip. I didn't make a sound and the pain radiated out from where his fingers dug into my skin. His closed fist made contact with the right side of my chest. When he released me, I realized I was lucky that was all I'd gotten. He never did damage that could be noticed. A smart one - my dad. “Shape up, son.” He loomed over me for a moment longer before turning and leaving with as much power as he'd come. “Don't call me son,” I murmured when his back was out of sight. Routine took over from there. I got up, wincing as a bruise formed where I'd been hit. Shutting the door, I went to my desk and pulled out a few aspirin. In the bathroom, I popped them in my mouth and cupped my hands under the water, slurping it the best I could. Lifting my arm, I touched the new bruise while examining it in the mirror. “Ass,” I muttered to myself, shutting off the light and crawling back into bed. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Chapter Nine Callie: “Callie, girl.” Jay's voice came over the phone. “Hey there,” I said. It was good to hear his voice. “How'd your first week of senior year go?” Well, I skipped school, pissed off my aunt, utterly failed at life, oh - and kissed your brother. I didn't say that of course. I went with a simple “fine” and question deflection. “You're the one who just started college. I want to hear all about it.” “I have to admit, it's been pretty great. Good classes, cool roommate, well, I won't bore you with the details. But you should have seen the parties here last night.” I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Jay at a frat party. “Yeah, yeah,” Jay said. “Maybe I can become a partier. I do miss you though.” It was Sunday afternoon and officially one week since he'd left. One long week. I hadn't skipped anymore classes and spent my free time working at the diner. The storm had come in pretty strong so the ocean was un-swimmable for a few days. You never swim after lots of rain. At least, not unless you want to get sick. One thing I had not done, was hang out with Colby and Jamie. “I miss you too,” I said. “I've been trying to call you all week. You already forget about me?” I swear if I looked in the mirror, my cheeks would be lobster-like. “Just busy.” “Kat got you working a lot?” “Yeah, I'm kinda in the dog house.” Oh God, why'd I say that. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for his questions. “What'd you do this time?” Yep, there it was. Oh nothing, just your brother. Wait, I did not do his brother. “Cut class,” I finally said, glad he couldn't see my face. He started laughing and all the tension inside of me broke causing me to join him. “Of course you did. I'll bet the waves were in.” “They were supposed to be,” I groaned, finally feeling at ease. This was my best friend. There was no need to feel nervous talking to him. “We got to the beach and nada.” “That flat, huh?” He didn't ask who was with me. “It was glass.” “Bet you were pissed.” “So mad.” The laughter died out and a moment of silence hung between us. It wasn't uncomfortable, it never was, but it gave me the opportunity to ask about something Jamie had said. “Hey,” I started. “Question.” “Answer,” he said. “Hardy har har. I'm being serious.” “Okay, shoot.” “How come you never talk about your parents?”

“Where is that coming from?” I wrack my brain for any explanation that isn't the truth. “Just something Colby said about Jamie.” “Oh.” The tone change was immediate. “What?” I pressed. “You just want me to divulge our deepest family secrets?” He laughed nervously. “My dad is a state senator. If this got out -” “It's me, Jayden, but I get if you don't want to tell me.” “No, look, it's something that needs some explaining and I'd rather not do that over the phone. I'll be home for your birthday in two weeks. We'll talk then.” “Sounds good. And Jay?” “Yeah?” “I can't wait to see you.” I heard him exhale slowly. “I always look forward to seeing you Callie girl.” I hit End just as my door was pushed open and a blond head appeared sporting a wide grin. “Hi Callie,” Morgan said in her usual cheery way. She practically floated into the room the same way she floated around the halls at school. On the second day of classes, when I actually showed up, I found out I had more than just creative writing with Morgan. She attached herself to me, determined to be friends, and she was already growing on me. “What's up, Morgan?” I tried to be as cheery as her, but felt awkward doing it. “Ugh, the boys are downstairs playing some shooting game and I'm tired of being stuck inside on such a nice day.” I glanced towards the window where I could see rain clouds gathering, casting a pall over the street, and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, fine,” she said, flopping dramatically onto the bed. “It's a shitty day, but I want to do something fun and that does not include sitting on my ass.” “Okay,” I agreed suddenly. “Wait, really? I totally expected you to say no.” Jamie's words from the party at the beach come back to me in that instant and I realize what he meant, even if he had yet to figure it out. I was going to say yes to things I wouldn't normally do. I was going to enjoy myself and right now that meant becoming friends with this girl who wouldn't have it any other way. “Yes, really.” I pulled her up off the bed and grabbed my shoes on the way to the door. “Come on.” She grabbed her soccer bag and we ran the short distance to a nearby field. It was run down, with rusted goal posts and dead grass. When I was little, our soccer games were held on a field nearby, but we'd practice here. I wasn't half bad. Nowhere near as good as Colby or Jamie or even Jay, but I could play. Soccer was a big part of our lives growing up. Like everything else, it too had been destroyed when my mom died. At least for me. I couldn't play anymore without her being on the sidelines. So, I didn't. I quit. I pulled my hair into a pony tail and secured it with a band I'd kept on my wrist. Morgan bounced the ball on her foot. “Alright, Cook,” I said. “Stop showing off.” She flashed me her teeth before passing the ball. I ran forward, dribbling it in front of me, remembering the feel. It wasn't quite like riding a bike. Maybe a rusty, wobbly one. Morgan chased after me, catching up with no difficulty and stealing the ball before taking it in for a goal. “And that's why they pay you the big bucks.” I laughed. “Or will one day.” “Nah,” she said. “My soccer career ends in high school.”

“Oh, come on, I know you're good enough to play in college.” “I'm not going to college. At least not right away.” “Really? You?” To say I was stunned was an understatement. If anyone had the grades and athleticism for multiple scholarships, it was Morgan Cook. “I'm going to do some traveling for a while. See what else is out there.” “And your parents are okay with that?” “It was their idea,” she laughed. “Both of them did the same thing. It's actually how they met. They don't think you should go to college just because everyone else is. You have to know yourself first.” “So, you're going to find yourself?” I tried to hold in a laugh, but couldn't. She cracked a smile. “It isn't as hokey as that.” “No, it sounds amazing actually.” She kicked the ball towards me and we passed and chatted for a while before the first raindrops hit my face. “Think we should get back?” I asked. She looked at me, grinning impishly. “You've never played soccer in the rain, have you?” She raised her face to the sky as the rain began to fall more steadily. Big, heavy drops soaked into my shirt. Morgan started dribbling in circles around the field. The saturated ground wasn't absorbing the water as it started to pool in bare spots. I ran towards her, splashing through a puddle. The water seeped into my sneakers and I didn't even care. I was swept up in whatever Morgan was experiencing. I just wanted to have fun. Patches of the field soon turned to mud. One foot hit first, and then the other was flying through the air, propelling me onto my back. The wind rushed from my lungs and I was left stunned as a laughing Morgan stood over me. She reached her hand down and I yanked, sending her sprawling in the mud beside me. She was laughing so hard her breath wheezed in and out. I suddenly got why everyone liked her so much. She looked over at me grinning. It was her ability to make anyone feel like they too were good enough. She could be friends with anyone and here she was lying in the mud with me. She didn't make you feel like a charity case, only liked. I sprang up, twisting to look at the mud that now stretched from my calves, up over my shorts, leaving a smear across the back of my t-shirt, and even into my hair. A shiver ran the length of my spine and I looked down to see Morgan hugging herself as well. “Hot tea?” I asked. “Oh, definitely.” We made the walk home and for once I hadn't been thinking about Jay or Jamie or even my mom. That's what would make this year great. I just wanted to think about the present. Nothing deep. Nothing bad. If I stayed like that, nothing could touch me. The boys looked up from their game when we walked in. Colby's jaw dropped as he took in our muddy appearance. “Soccer.” Morgan shrugged. Jamie nodded in understanding. Colby's eyes darted between me and his girlfriend, unsure of what to say. Morgan giggled as she leaned down to give him a quick kiss. “Sorry boys, Callie is just more fun than you.” Jamie mouthed my name in question as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing and I stared daggers at him. “Come on, Callie,” Morgan pulled on my arm. “Mind if I borrow some clothes?”

Morgan Cook was borrowing clothes from me, Callie McCoy. What kind of alternate universe had I stepped in to? * * * To the average person, the next couple weeks wouldn't have looked anything other than normal. I went to school, trying my hardest to get through my classes without falling asleep. Afterwards, I'd hop in the truck, listening to it sputtering as it transported me to the diner where I'd work the dinner rush. Then it was home to do my homework and go to bed. Morgan started hanging around more, providing the little variety I had. I found myself getting more comfortable around her. It wasn't a hard thing to do. Colby was still infatuated, much to my surprise. My brother wasn't known for having the longest attention span when it came to dating. With Morgan insisting on spending time with both of us, I ended up actually hanging out with my brother more than I had in a while. Jamie was scarce. I didn't know if it was because of my presence and the resentment I still saw in his eyes over the things I'd said, despite the kiss, or if it was because things were going well for him and Amelia. At school, they could be seen holding hands or being sickeningly coupley. I wasn't jealous. I swore to myself that I still couldn't stand the sight of him. I just hated seeing him and Amelia together more. I didn't hear from Jay. Two weeks was a long time for the two of us to go without talking. I assumed he was busy with school and trying to change his non-partying ways. For me, it was that I was enjoying not having to rely on him for everything for the first time in years. I still missed him though. I was walking through the hall at school when Morgan sidled up beside me and threw her arm around my shoulders. “What are we doing for your birthday?” she asked. I glanced at her quickly before looking forward again and shrugging. It may have been my imagination, but people seemed to part in front of us. Probably the Morgan effect. This school wasn't nearly as intimidating with her by my side. “We have to do something.” She squeezed me tighter. “Colby's having a party at the beach on Saturday.” I wasn't much for birthdays or any day that put the attention on me. “I know that.” Morgan flipped her hair out of her face and waved at someone we passed. “But that's for Colby. Just because you're a twin, doesn't mean you don't deserve a day that's just about you.” “It doesn't really bother me.” That was the truth. It didn't. Colby had always had parties while I opted to just let the day pass. “Well, it bothers me,” she huffed. We turned into our classroom and she finally released me to take my seat. Leaning across her desk, she brought her face close to mine almost conspiratorially. “I got this.” Winking ominously, she sat back in her chair with a satisfied grin and I suddenly remembered why I'd never had many girlfriends before. Mr. Chase walked in and set his case down on the desk before spinning around to face us. “You guys have no idea what you're in for today,” he said excitedly. “Since the start of school almost three weeks ago, we've been doing daily prompts, most having to do with describing things you've done recently.” He looked around, his eyes bright under dark brows, to make sure he had our attention. “What we've been writing is technically nonfiction, but it's prepared you for the first fiction project. Fiction,” he paused, “is a multi-faceted beast. No two people write it the same, in part because it stems from our experiences, or the people we've met in our lives. Callie.” He looked me in the eye. “If you and Morgan went out for the weekend together and did, saw, felt the exact same things, you would still

experience it differently. “So, here's what's going to happen. I have one other creative writing class and I've come up with a list, pairing each of you with someone in that class. Tomorrow during the freshman assembly period, you seniors will have study hall. Instead, meet in this room and you will begin to work with your partners. “What is this brilliant project, you ask?” He grinned. “We are going to attempt to tame the beast while proving that much of writing is subjective. You and your partner will be tasked with sharing an experience. Do something you wouldn't normally do. Have a little fun. Then you will each write a fictional story about a character who does and experiences what you did. You will name your characters and write in third person. Remember, we are using our experiences to write a fictional story, not a stepby-step account of what occurred.” He held up a sheet of paper and smiled at the nervous faces around the room. “Here are the pairings. I'll pass this around and then let you work on today's prompt until the end of class.” No one worked as they watched the list wind around the rows of desks. Morgan snatched it from the girl in front of her, her eyes scanning the page. “Ew,” she said, looking shocked at the volume of her voice. “Matthew Franklin.” This time, her voice was lowered and directed only at me and her friends that sat around us. They started muttering about how it wasn't fair. The words “creep” and “freak” were used. I stayed quiet. I didn't know Matthew very well, but I knew his grandfather. Seth Franklin was a regular at the diner and one of the sweetest people I knew. It felt disloyal to him to join in disparaging Matthew. But that didn't stop the words from slipping past my lips. Something inside me just wanted to be a part of this group. “I can't believe Mr. Chase would put you with him,” I said, feeling an instant clenching in my gut. Morgan's friends nodded towards me in approval and the clenching started to ease, replaced by the tingling of acceptance. “At least he put you with a friend,” Morgan said, handing the list to me. “Who?” I ran down the names, finding mine in the middle of the page. Sliding my finger over to the name opposite of mine, I froze. Jamie Daniels. “I would kill to partner with Jamie,” Hannah, Morgan's friend, sing-songed. I couldn't think of anything else the rest of class, knowing Jamie would be more pissed about this pairing than me. I considered what I'd said to him, and again failed to see how I'd screwed up so bad. I basically told him he had it good and was always trying to mess up his perfect life. That was true, wasn't it? Jay's voice popped into my head. There was a family secret. One that could explain everything. Did I have a right to know it? I knew the answer to that was a resounding no, but Jay was going to tell me anyway. I just had to wait two more days to see him. The bell rang and I hadn't written a single word of the in-class work. Closing the notebook on my blank page, I shoved it into my backpack and followed Morgan out the door.

Chapter Ten Callie: “I think there's enough salt in that shaker, Cal,” Colby said, snatching the salt out of my hand. Glancing down, I realized I'd overfilled the small glass container and the extra salt was spread across the counter. “Shit,” I muttered, cupping my hand at the edge and pushing the excess salt into it. “You cool, sis?” “Fine.” Colby shrugged and walked off to take a nearby table's order. He had a game the next night so their coach had given them tonight off. Meaning he was working. Kat was back in the kitchen, trying to push through a major kitchen backup. It was busy, which was odd for a Thursday, especially since the snow birds weren't due back for another couple months. Summer and fall were pretty lean for us. Heck, so was the winter, but a little less so. In an ideal world, aunt Kat wouldn't have to work in the kitchen at all. She'd just be able to manage the place. We didn't live in an ideal world and we couldn't afford more help, so she ended up doing more work than any one person should. I wiped down the counter that still had remnants of my salt fiasco and pulled the order pad out of my apron as someone sat down. Surprise kept me from moving forward for a moment as I took in Mr. Chase's appearance. The cardinal rule of being a teenager was we weren't supposed to have to see our teachers outside of school. To us, they didn't have lives outside of that room. But here he was, looking good in running shorts and an Under-Armor t-shirt. His hair was ruffled and damp with what I assumed was sweat since his face shone with it as well. I forced my feet forward. “Mr. Chase, hi.” He looked up from the menu in front of him and his smile widened. “Callie. Do you work here?” “Um.” I gestured to my apron. “Yeah. My family owns the place.” “Ah, cheers to that. I've been coming here after my runs, but I guess I've missed you until now. I've talked to Kat. Is that your mum?” I laughed suddenly. “Not unless she had me when she was like twelve. No, my aunt, but I live with her.” “Very good,” he said absently. “Is she… ah … here?” “She's in the kitchen.” I waved away his question, leaning on the counter. “Can I ask you something?” He nodded. “I think 'shoot' is what you yanks say.” “How did you pair us for the fiction project?” “You're expecting me to have some master plan, is that it?” He laughed. “I'd like to say it was because I observed your personalities and determined which combinations would make for the best stories. That'd be pretty brilliant. Sad to say, only a few weeks into school, my magical talents still need honed. No, I paired you based on your seating in class. Your partner sits at the same desk, just during a different period.” I sighed, relieved there was nothing more than coincidence behind this choice. “Is it possible to get a new partner? I'm sure Morgan would switch me.”

He smiled knowingly. “That's not how this works. Use whatever differences cause you to ask for a new partner. Those differences will only enhance your experience together and ultimately lead to a better story. Get through it and then put whatever you were feeling into your writing. That's how this works.” “Noah.” Kat walked up beside me. Was that breathlessness I heard in her voice? I looked up into her face, noticing the slightly rosy cheeks and shy smile. Shifting my glance to Mr. Chase, I took in his even wider smile and the way he was trying to flatten the hair on top of his head. “Oh my God,” I squeaked. They both looked at me oddly and I just walked away, leaving them to whatever that was. I couldn't remember the last time Kat had a date. She was always busy with the diner, the house, and us. Raising two teenagers at twenty-eight wasn't easy. Not for the first time, I thought of everything she'd given up for us. If she could give up a career she loved, dating and having a family of her own, and pretty much everything else to take care of her sister's kids and business, then I could get through this project and so much more. * * * “Did you know Kat has a date with a teacher tonight?” Colby asked, barging into my room. “Mr. Chase, yeah I know.” I continued braiding my hair. “She's calling him Noah.” He screwed up his face and I laughed. “That's his name.” “No, his name is Mr. Chase.” “Do you even have a class with him?” “No, but Jamie does and he says it's the worst because the girls in the class swoon more over the teacher than they do over him.” “Sounds like Jamie.” I backed away from the mirror and sat on the edge of the bed to pull my shoes on. “What's up with this project you two have to do together?” he asked. I looked up. “He told you about that, huh?” “Yeah, he's been going on about what a terrible project it is.” “It's actually pretty great,” I admitted. “With the exception of the partner thing. Mr. Chase.” Colby scowled at the name. I just laughed, shaking my head and continuing. “Mr. Chase wants us to experience something new. Then we write as if our fictional character was doing that exact thing.” “I'm gonna agree with Jamie on this one.” I threw a pillow at him and he ducked, both of us laughing. This felt good. Our relationship used to be like this all the time, light and fun. We were friends, not merely siblings. But, as Mr. Chase said, everyone experiences things in different ways. When Mom died, I hid away and he moved on. “Anyway,” he started. “I'm heading out. Don't be late to school again.” “Yes, Daddy.” Freshman assembly had already started by the time I sprinted up the steps and through the large front doors of the building. The halls were busier than normal. Freshmen were in homeroom meetings and each class was doing different things. Seniors were in study hall, meaning some of them roamed the halls, wearing out the limit on bathroom passes. I hoofed it towards my locker, throwing my books inside. The slam echoed through the hall, ringing in my ears alongside the rushing blood. I hated being late, yet couldn't seem to help it. When I pushed through the classroom door, all eyes fell on me. “Glad you could join us,” Mr. Chase said dryly. “Your partner has been graciously waiting for you at

the back of the class.” Grace was not an attribute I'd ever associate with Jamie, but there he was, looking bored, but remarkably good as he tapped his pencil against the desk. “Of course,” he said. “They put me with someone who couldn't be on time to save her life.” “Oh, shut it, Daniels,” I snapped. “I'm surprised you even showed today. No flat waves to go surf.” It was the wrong thing to say. I saw it in his eyes. Just like mine, his mind went back to that day and the judgments I'd made, however unfairly. For a moment, I wished our memories were shorter than that and we could just focus on what happened afterwards in my room. But then I mentally kicked myself. No, that would be so much worse. “Let's just talk about what we're going to do for the project.” I sighed as I sat in the empty seat beside him. “We could write about Colby's party tomorrow since we'll both be there.” “I don't think that's what Mr. Chase was talking about when he said to do something you've never done before.” Before I could come up with another idea, I heard laughing coming from another corner of the room. Turning in my seat, I caught sight of Morgan working with Matthew, but at the same time trying not to look like she was working with him. A couple of her friends watched them and laughed nearby. A wave of sympathy swelled up in me as I took in Matthew's pale face and hunched shoulders. He knew they were talking about him, that was plain. His black shirt was rumpled and he was sporting a large bruise on the side of his face. “I saw it happen,” Jamie whispered, leaning towards me. Suddenly we weren't at odds. Just for a moment, we were on the same side as we watched what was going on. “Saw what happen?” I asked. “I forgot. You don't have first period. Matthew met the wrong side of Rick Yellen's fist.” “The junior, Rick Yellen?” “Yeah. The one who looks like he's thirty. Him and his buddies have been messing with Matthew for years.” “Along with everyone else.” “Pretty much.” Jamie's tone was matter-of-fact rather than sympathetic. There were plenty of kids who were bullied at Gulf City High. I heard about it, but I never saw it, trapped in my own world as I usually was. The period ended and Jamie and I were no further along with our project. Morgan looped her arm through mine on the way to Calc. “That was awful,” she said. “I'll bet.” I hated how my voice sounded, but I hated my words even more.

Chapter Eleven Jamie: Why did I sleep with her? Oh, that's right, she's hot as sin and I'm a red-blooded male. Amelia gave it up easy enough, not like she was a virgin, but that was the only thing that was easy about her. It made her even more clingy if that was possible. I needed to dump her, but this was Amelia, hottest girl in school. I'd be persona non-grata so fast in those halls. She was the one person with the power to bring me, Jamie Daniels, down. I didn't care about popularity, but I did care if I ever got a date again. Not like the one girl I wanted to date would care what Amelia said. No. Dammit. I didn't want Callie. She pissed me off. Always had. She hated me. She had Jay. Throwing my books into my locker, I slammed it with so much force it shook. “Something wrong, baby?” Amelia walked up behind me. My fist clenched at my side in response to her voice. Breathing deeply, I turned and pasted the fakest of fake smiles on my face. Not like she'd notice. She reached out and ran a hand up my chest, stopping at my collar and using it to pull my face down to hers. Pushing me back into the locker, she deepened the kiss. I kissed her back, hard. This part I didn't hate. The girl could kiss and do just about everything else that drove guys wild. She broke away reluctantly. “You better go if you want to catch the bus to your game.” I nodded and left her without another word. That afternoon, I played like shit. It was like I was running in cement, sluggish and just off. We still won, because let's face it, I said I was the talent on that team, but that wasn't exactly true. Colby already had a scholarship offer to play in college. I'd be lucky to get into some podunk community college. Maybe my father was right. A disappointment was all I'd ever be. Both my parents were sitting at the kitchen table when I got home, enjoying dinner. I walked by them to the fridge, pulling out a soda and sandwich makings. “James,” my father barked. “Aren't you going to greet your mother?” “She's not my mother,” I muttered, not in the mood to pretend. It's not like I was lying. “But hello, Ashley.” I finished making the sandwich quickly and tried to move past them, but dad jumped forward and grabbed me. “Respect.” He knocked the plate from my hands. It clattered to the tile floor, spilling its contents. “Your betters.” He surprised me by going for the face this time, his open palm slamming into my cheek, catching the lower part of my eye socket. I ducked away from the next hit, shoving him backwards and running back out the way I'd come. His bellows followed me out. I wasn't watching where I was going and slammed into someone, sending us both tumbling to the grass. My eyes connected with my brother's. “Jesus Christ, Jamie,” he growled, getting to his feet. “Where's the fire.” My dad was still inside yelling and it finally registered on Jay. He winced, finally taking in my harried appearance. His hand slid through his dark hair as he glanced towards the door, then back at me. He knew what was going on. Reaching a hand down, he pulled me to my feet, finally catching sight of the

red mark on my face. I saw the war raging in his eyes. He was my father's son, but he was also my brother. “Go.” He jerked his head towards my car. “I'll see you later.” Squaring his shoulders, he headed inside. He wasn't in any danger though. Dad would never lay a hand on him, only on the bastard. Swallowing the bitterness, I drove away. The farther from that house I got, the better I felt.

Chapter Twelve Callie: “It's decided!” Morgan burst through the front door of my house without bothering to knock. “What's decided?” I looked up from the history book on my lap, rubbing a hand across my forehead. “You're coming to my house.” She leapt onto the couch, jostling me and furthering along the ache that was building in my head. “Wait.” I snapped my book shut and sat up. “Really?” I was still having a hard time believing Morgan and I were friends, choosing instead to think that I was a passing fad for her, knowing as soon as my brother broke her heart that we'd be over as well. “Yes.” She locked her fingers around my arm and started to pull. “Now?” I asked suddenly. “Well, you should change first. I'm thinking something a little more …” She cocked her head, regarding me. “Sexy?” “Uh …” Why the hell would I need to look sexy at her house? That was sooo not my thing. She pulled me from the couch despite my protestations and dragged me towards my room where she proceeded to rummage through my closet. I doubted she'd find what she was looking for in there. “Don't you have any cute clothes? Ugh.” She pulled back from my closet, scowling. “Sorry I'm not like you,” I snapped, slamming the closet door and crossing my arms over my chest. “I have better things to care about than clothes.” Morgan's eyes widened. “Cal, I didn't mean to offend you.” “Then you should try not saying offensive things.” Her lips were pressed together in a flat line as she shifted from foot to foot. “I've got it.” Her face brightened. “You're going to wear something of mine.” “I don't get why I have to change at all.” Looking down at my jeans and Tampa Bay Lightning t-shirt, it looked normal enough for me. “Because.” She clapped her hands together. “Tonight is your eighteenth birthday party.” “What the hell?” I didn't know whether to be angry because I told her I didn't want one or to feel good because she cared. Kat cared, but she was busy and knew better than to go against my wishes. Colby threw himself a beach party. Then a thought struck me. “Who would even come?” “Taken care of.” Morgan grinned. “Come on. We only have an hour before they get there.” Morgan drove us to a house that must have been four times the size of mine. Beige, front-facing concrete made it blend in among the surrounding browns and whites. The two-story house was surrounded by perfectly manicured lawn and a flower bed my mother would have loved to have. Yellow allamandas. They were her favorite. The inside mixed whites and greens and blues to create a calming ocean theme throughout. “Morgan,” a woman called from the kitchen. “Is that you?” “Yeah, Mom.” Morgan walked towards the voice and I followed, coming face to face with a middleaged woman with dusty-blond hair and a wide smile. She hugged her daughter and then turned to me. When her arms came around me, I stiffened in surprise.

“You must be Callie,” she said softly. “We've heard so much about you.” I just nodded when she finally released me. “Are you girls hungry?” she asked. “The food for the party is here. I could make you up a plate?” “Nah, Mom,” Morgan answered. “We have to go get ready.” We turned to leave and as we reached the bottom of the stairs, Morgan's mom called to me. “Oh, I almost forgot. Happy birthday, Callie. Eighteen is a life changing one.” Words caught in my throat at the motherly smile she gave me. “Thank you, Mrs. Cook.” And then I escaped up the stairs. Morgan was already in her closet, which was a freakin' walk-in. It didn't take long before she came back out and lobbed a black dress my way. Holding it up, I shook my head. “In your dreams, Cook.” She crossed her arms, narrowed her eyes, and stared. “It's just a dress.” Sighing, I started to change. She gave me an approving nod and went to find a dress for herself. It was short, shorter than pretty much anything I'd ever worn. I sat on the corner of the bed, pulling on the edges of the dress when Morgan walked back in, looking gorgeous in a simple green maxi dress. “Ugh,” I said. “Why couldn't I wear that?” “I don't see what the problem is. You're a surfer. You always run around in your bathing suit.” “Yeah.” I grimaced. “With a rash guard or wet-suit over it. Have one of those?” “Now.” She tapped a brush against her hand. “Your hair.” I fingered the ends of my pony-tail that brushed the top of my shoulder. “Hey Morg,” a gorgeous blond with long legs and tanned skin pushed into the room. God, did this family hit some sort of gene lottery? “Callie, this is my sister, Parker.” Morgan waved a hand between us. “Older sister,” Parker clarified. “As opposed to all the other sisters we have?” Morgan rolled her eyes my way. “Well, there's Troy.” Morgan snorted. “Troy's our baby brother,” she explained to me. “He's a sophomore.” “Anyway,” Parker said. “I didn't want to talk to you just for the sheer pleasure of it.” “Gee, thanks.” Morgan laughed. “But,” Parker continued with a wink. “There is a man down stairs who looks like sex on a stick and is asking for Callie.” I put my hands to my ears. “You better not be talking about my brother.” He was the only one I could think of who'd ask for me. “Colby?” Parker asked. “Nah. Don't get me wrong, my sister done good.” “Eww.” I plugged my ears. “But this one happens to be someone I went to school with and he's no high-schooler, that's for sure. I've only been out a year, but let me tell you, as soon as you walk across that stage, there is this distance between you and the people that are still there. I wouldn't make this guy wait any longer.” I jumped to my feet and walked into the hall slowly and looked down the stairs. My breath caught. Jay was standing near the front door, his eyes scanning pictures on the wall. His dark hair looked slightly ruffled, but I knew he styled it that way. He looked good, but I didn't know how much of that feeling was because I hadn't seen him in weeks. I ran down the last few steps, seeing him turn as he heard me. His smiled beamed as he stepped forward and scooped me up in his arms. I didn't even think about it as I kissed him solidly. “Well damn,” Parker said behind us. I leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. “You're really here?” “I told you I'd come for your birthday.” He laughed. “Colby called me about tonight.”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Just then, there was a knock at the front door. I didn't move from Jay's arms as Morgan opened the door. Colby walked by, giving Jay a welcome home clap on the back. He was followed closely by Jamie and Amelia. Morgan came up to me and pulled my hair tie out, letting my brown locks fall to my shoulders. She backed away and I looked up, catching Jamies slightly widening eyes as he scanned me from head to toe. A satisfied flush rose in my cheeks and I buried my face against Jay's firm chest as he hooked his arm around my waist. I didn't know how Morgan convinced Jamie and Amelia to come. “Hey brother,” he said carefully, a look passing between them that I didn't understand. “Hey,” Jamie replied, rubbing a spot on his face that I only now noticed was slightly bruised. I watched the exchange between the brothers warily, now knowing I was missing a piece of the puzzle. Hopefully, Jay would put it together for me if I could get him alone. I didn't know why, but the urge to understand Jamie was strong. Shrugging off Jay's arm, I joined everyone else around the food. If our mouths were full, we wouldn't have to talk. Just what everyone wanted for their birthday party. * * * “Soooo,” Jay said, lifting my legs into his lap. “How is my Callie girl doing without me in town to keep her from becoming a hermit?” I punched his shoulder. “A cute hermit?” He grinned. “A very cute surfing hermit.” “I'm just fine, thank you very much.” I couldn't help but laugh at him. “Good, actually.” “Good?” he yelled. “Call the band. We need to celebrate. Callie McCoy is good!” “Shut it.” I pinched him before realizing everyone else had stopped to watch us when Jay started yelling. Parker flopped down onto the couch beside us. Her eyes skipped over me before landing on Jay. “Hey there, sexy.” He only laughed and gave me a very Jay-like satisfied grin. “Oh man, he's going to get a complex,” I groaned. “How long are you in town?” Parker asked. “All weekend,” he answered. “Fancy a bite?” I stared at her open-mouthed. Quite forward, wasn't she? “Sorry, Parker. I'm sort of seeing someone.” My head whipped around so fast I was surprised I didn't break my neck. “So, you two are together?” she asked. Jay laughed suddenly and I had every urge to use the foot that was in his lap to kick him where it hurts. “You should see your face,” he said to me, not quite answering Parker's question yet. “Don't forget, I can read your mind.” He looked back up at Morgan's sister. “Nah, I've started dating someone at school.” Now I hit him for another reason. “You didn't tell me?” “Don't tell me there aren't things you haven't mentioned lately.” His eyes flicked to Jamie and I cringed. Did he know? “Plus, it's new. I didn't want to jinx it.” I nodded, relief flooding through me. If Jay was in a relationship, it took some of the pressure off the two of us. I'd always felt like I should love him like that and guilty that I didn't. Now we could take a step

back and just be friends as we used to be. A thought struck me. “Uh, sorry I kissed you tonight then.” He grinned. “One for luck.” “Right, I'm going to get a drink.” I slid my feet from his grasp and stood up, not realizing Parker was following me until I reached the kitchen. “You cool?” she asked. “What?” I responded absently. “Yeah.” I twisted the top on a bottle of Coke and threw it in the garbage. “Not exactly the birthday you'd imagined?” Sighing, I shook my head slowly. “I'm not one for parties.” “You call this a party?” She laughed. “The only parties I really like are boogies.” “As in, what's in my nose?” “Um, gross. A boogie is a skydiving party.” “You're a skydiver?” I perked up, setting my Coke on the counter and leaning forward. “You bet your ass I am. I'm a tandem instructor at the Gulf City drop zone.” “What's it like?” I'd seen the tail end of a skydive once before. The drop zone was out in the boonies near my mom's favorite farm stand. We'd go there some Saturdays. The three of us. One morning, when I was about nine, we stood watching what seemed like two people just flying through the air. Through the eyes of a child, they seemed larger than life. Now I know that it's a controlled decent, using equipment that makes it possible. Back then they seemed like super-humans. Parker leaned against the counter, her eyes bright. “There's nothing like it. Best feeling in the world. When you're up there, you don't have to think about what's down here. You don't really have to think at all. Mind blank, you just fly.” Closing my eyes, I imagined myself up there and smiled. “If you ever want to go,” Parker continued. “I can get you quite the discount.” “Cal,” Jay poked his head around the corner. “You ready to head out? Everyone else is leaving.” I looked back at Parker one more time and she gave me a wink before I followed Jay through the house and out into his car. “Where to, darlin'?” he asked, using his fake southern accent. “Your humble abode?” I thought for a moment, needing to take my chance. “No, let's go to the beach.” Looking sideways at him, I continued. “We need to talk.”

Chapter Thirteen Callie: The water was turning slightly cooler as fall moved on. It wouldn't be long before I had to pull my wetsuit out for surfing. The evening air was warm, with a slight chill that only came on when the breeze blew across the darkened beach. The hairs on my arms stood on end as I walked along in the shallows, letting the water lap against my calves, draining away the day's stresses. Tomorrow I'd be eighteen. Today, my friends had thrown me a party, if you could call it that. But, the operative word was friends - even if only Morgan and Jay could truly qualify. It used to only be Jay, but life changed as one season turned over to make way for another. The great myth about Florida was that we didn't get seasons, or at least changing ones. It was true that our leaves never fell to make way for winter. We didn't get snow. But we had the rains that turned everything green. Those would end soon to give way to a dry, chilled winter where, yes, we'd have to break out our coats. Grasses would turn brown, flowers would hide away, the ocean would grow cold. Then all at once, everything would burst with color again and residents returned to the beach - when it wasn't raining. Those were our seasons. The only ones I'd ever known. For so long, they'd controlled my life. The surf was good in the winter, flat in the summer. The cold water required different attire. The diner was busiest in winter, as well, when the northerners were in town seeking a little warmth, and traffic was a nightmare. This year, I could already feel myself starting to change, but it was more than my routine. Jay was right. It was odd for me to consider myself 'good'. I kicked at the water, splashing it up towards Jay who was staying dry on the shore and grinning. “You just can't stay out of the water, can you?” he asked with a chuckle. I shrugged, gripping my shoes tighter in my hand. We weren't the only people on the beach tonight, but were far enough away so we wouldn't be overheard. “Jay,” I looked over at him. “I need to know what I'm missing here with Jamie. I feel like I'm going crazy.” In the dark, I could still see him as he scratched the back of his head. “I don't get why you care so much.” Sighing, I left the water behind and walked up beside him, the sand sticking to my wet feet. “Tell me.” I took his hand in mine as he studied my face, looking for something. “Look.” He blew out a long breath. “I know he kissed you.” “I figured. Are you really that good of a mind reader?” “No, Jamie called me right after, freaking out a bit. I was surprised because he doesn't exactly come to his big brother for advice. When he said it was about you, I understood. If I had been there I would have punched him.” “What did he say?” My voice was small. “That it was impulsive and stupid because of you and me.” I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, the breath leaving me in a whoosh. “Did you tell him we're just friends now?” I asked. “Hell no.” He growled. “I figured it wasn't a welcome kiss.” He turned to me, his voice low. “He

isn't good enough for you, Callie.” I flinched away from him when he tried to put his arm around me. What he was saying wasn't anything I hadn't told myself, except in my mind it was always me that wasn't good enough for Jamie. Someone like Amelia was much more his speed. I didn't know why my mind went there. I. Did. Not. Have. Feelings. For. Jamie. Daniels. “Jay, there is nothing between me and your brother except this stupid project we have to do. If there's some way you can help me understand him …” “You want me to share some big family secret because of a school project?” I could practically hear him grinning at how stupid that sounded. “It's me, okay. We know everything about each other.” “You're right. Fine, I'll tell you the sordid details, but this has to go in the vault. My dad is planning a run for US Congress next year.” “Wait.” I held him back. “Really? You're going to be a senator's son? Rather than just a state senator's kid?” “Shit.” He rubbed a hand across his face. “I wasn't supposed to say anything. Jamie doesn't even know.” “And, that brings us to the why. What is it about Jamie that I don't know? Why did he suddenly avoid me after what I said - other than when he kissed me out of the blue. I don't understand him at all.” I threw my arms in the air and stalked further up the beach before plunking my butt in the sand. Jay lowered himself beside me. “Okay, so you know my dad.” “Kinda,” I admitted. “Not really. He's never been around when I've been at your house over the years.” “He's not the warmest guy in the world. When I was two, my parents almost got a divorce. Dad has been in politics in some form my entire life and has always had to travel quite a bit and spend a lot of time in Tallahassee. My mom told me this full story when I was nine and I've never quite forgotten the look on her face when she did. I was one and Dad was in the capitol for about a month. He didn't come home a lot when he was there. This time though, a woman showed up at our door. She was claiming to have had an affair with Dad.” Jay paused. “I can just imagine my mom's face.” “Her name was Candice.” I gasped. “He told you his middle name?” Jay asked, cocking his head. “He doesn't tell anyone that.” “I sort of overheard your dad using his full name. I can't believe he'd name him after his mistress.” “Candice wasn't just Dad's mistress, she was Jamie's mom.” My head spun as Jay continued to explain. “James Candice Daniels was the name she'd put on his birth certificate, but she left the mother blank, wanting my mom to claim him. She left her three-week-old son with us that day. Mom almost left Dad, but she stayed, for his career. He hired a nanny to take care of me and Jamie so Mom wouldn't have much to do with Jamie. She never was able to bond with him and he could feel it. He was eight when he finally found out why.” “Mom started to drink.” I grabbed Jay's hand, knowing small pieces of this next part of the story. He went on. “They hid it well - for his political career. The world thinks Jamie is her son. Dad has never shown anything but disdain for him, when he's not ignoring him altogether.” He stopped and looked at me. “My brother grew up basically without any parents. When he got old enough to see that, his resentment of me drove us apart as well.” My throat was dry as his words permeated my heart. I'd been wrong about everything. Now I got it, why he wanted to seek invincibility. Why he wanted to do it with me.

It was the only way to keep our lives from swallowing us whole. * * * My birthday dawned bright and beautiful. Blue skies. Puffy white clouds. I sat on the front steps of the house, sipping a coffee and cringing with every drop that hit my taste buds. I figured I'd try. I was eighteen now. Legally an adult. Colby had been drinking the stuff for years and Kat was practically addicted. I didn't get it. Mug in hand, I got to my feet and went inside to the kitchen. Sugar. That made everything better. I dumped one spoonful in, considering the dark liquid. “No way in hell that's enough to cover up the taste,” I mumbled to myself, proceeding with three more large spoonfuls of sugary goodness. I had a sweet tooth. That was no secret. Jay constantly made fun of me for it. The thought of him made me get the distinct impression I'd forgotten something as I lazed around all morning. Kat wasn't making us work and Colby was at Morgan's. “Shit, Kat.” Looking up at the clock, I realized I was supposed to meet her and Jay for breakfast half an hour ago. Coffee sloshed over the side when I slammed my mug on the counter and ran to my room. No time for a shower, I kicked aside clothes that were scattered across the floor on my way to my closet. I tugged on a pair of jeans and threw a random blue shirt over my head. California was now scrawled across my boobs. Ironic to some, funny to others. It was Jay's idea of a joke when he'd gone to L.A. last year and bought it in some touristy shop. Right now, I only cared that it was clean. Tugging on my shoes while running was a skill I'd perfected over years of being late and it didn't let me down now. I snatched my keys from the kitchen counter and jumped into my car just as my phone started to ring. “Hey, Jay,” I said, trying to turn the car on. “I'm on my way.” I didn't hear his response, because the only thing my mind could focus on was the too-feint sputtering, followed by an eerie silence from the engine. “Come on, baby.” I turned the key again. “Jay, I'll call you back. I might be a few minutes.” Throwing the phone on the seat beside me, I tried one more time, banging on the dash-board with my free hand as if all it needed was a little love tap. That wasn't all it needed. “Not today.” I sighed, getting out of the truck and staring at it in betrayal. We'd been through a lot, her and me. She was like an old friend - a very old one. I turned when the sound of another car nearby reached my ears. A much more expensive car. Probably one that never breaks down. Jamie looked at me through the windshield for a moment before cutting the engine and stepping out. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't help it, I looked at him and saw a different guy than before. I knew now that he had that expensive car because he was given money and very little else. I knew the strain around his eyes was caused by more than their recent soccer loss. That he got mean when he got close to someone because he couldn't really trust them. Except for my brother. I realized in that moment that Colby must have known. After Mom died, he spent more time at Jamie's house than our own. I looked away, unable to bear the thought of how my words must have hurt him. He knew we were more alike than different. “What's up with your pile of junk?” he asked, eying old red with a skepticism that offended me. “I'll have you know, she's running just fine.” I gritted my teeth. “Liar,” he challenged. It seemed we were always at odds.

“Gah, fine.” I gave in, wanting to strangle him and hug him at the same time. “It won't start and I'm already late for breakfast.” “Always,” he muttered under his breath. “I'm not always late.” I scratched the side of my face and looked at him. “Fine. Whatever. I suck at life. Can you please just give me a ride?” “Where's Colby?” He glanced around. “Where else? At Morgan's.” “Fine,” he said, gesturing to his car. “But you're buying me breakfast.” That was a running joke between all of us and it relieved some of the tension as I got in the car. Jamie and Jay always got free food at Ally's so no one needed to buy them anything. The ride was too short for much conversation, which I was glad for. I didn't know what to do. Did I tell him that I knew? That I was sorry? That I understood? Jay was already seated at the counter and I slid in beside him with Jamie next to me. Kat smiled at me from behind the counter. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” “It might be time to put Old Red to rest,” I announced sadly. “Third time she's quit on me this week.” “I'm sorry, Cal. I know how much that truck means to you.” I shrugged, doing my best to look nonchalant. “This summer the mechanic said I probably shouldn't be driving her so I knew it was coming.” Kat set a steaming plate of pancakes and bacon in front of me as if she had it ready the moment I walked in the door. “No hash browns?” I asked through a mouthful, raising one eyebrow. “Sometimes I still forget you eat as much as Colby's entire soccer team,” she laughed, placing my order for hash browns on the pass-through window. “That,” I said, waving a piece of bacon in front of my face. “Is an exaggeration. Oh, and I'm buying douche bag's breakfast.” “That'd be me,” Jamie cut in, eying my bacon. “So, he'll have eggs with mushrooms and onions.” Jamie was gagging beside me. There were no three foods he hated more. I honestly didn't get how anyone hated eggs. “French toast with extra bacon coming up,” Kat winked at him and a smug smile appeared on his face. “Ooo, and I want coffee.” I said. “Since when?” Jay asked. “Now.” Kat set a mug down in front of me and I turned the sugar container upside-down over it, a single long stream of sugar dropping into the coffee. Jay and Jamie both stared at me, their mouths hanging open as I put the sugar down, stirred, and took a sip. “Soooo much better,” I sighed. Jay chuckled as Jamie snorted and Kat shook her head. “Callie, when you're done eating, can you meet me in the back?” “Sure thing. Just giving me a minute.” I shoveled food into my mouth, not talking to the boys much. They didn't say a word to each other either. I finished my food and hopped off the stool. Kat was in the back, waiting for me, a small box in hand. “Kat, you didn't have to get me anything,” I said. “This isn't from me.” “Then who …” My mouth went dry. “Mom?”

She smiled sadly. “Open it.” I took the box gingerly in my hands, flipping it over, letting the softness brush against my skin. Did she hold this very box? The edges were fraying slightly, but other than that it was perfect. Perfect because what was inside was hers. I pulled it open slowly, revealing a gold chain on which hung a locket shaped like a surfboard. Hesitating slightly, I used my fingernails to pry it open. Nestled inside was a picture of Mom, the diner in the background, and a baby in each arm. Kat wiped a tear from my cheek. “Only happy thoughts today, okay? Your mom loved you and that's what matters. Remember that, and it isn't like she's gone at all.” “Thanks, aunt Kat. Just … thank you.” “Happy eighteenth, California.” * * * Colby's party was pretty epic by our school's standards. Everyone we knew was there. I didn't know if they got that it was a birthday party, but whatever. It was what happened beforehand that stuck with me. Colby and I went to pick up Jamie and Jay. They were going to help us start the fire on the beach, just like old times. Jay came out quickly as if wanting to escape something on the inside. “Jamie will be a few minutes, guys,” he said, climbing into the back. “He's dealing with … stuff.” I had my visor down and he caught my eye in the mirror. “Shit,” Colby cursed as voices drifted out to us. “When will you stop being an embarrassment to this family?” Mr. Daniels screamed. It was followed by a crash. “Screw you.” Jamie's voice was unmistakable. “Like I even want to be a part of this family.” He stumbled out the front door, followed closely by his father, who threw something large at him. It shattered on the sidewalk and Jamie jumped out of the way, towards the car. He got in, slamming the door as he did. “Let's get the hell out of here.” Cheeks red - from exertion, or embarrassment, I didn't know - but I looked back at him; at the bruise winding up his nose. He met my gaze in challenge, daring me to say something so he'd have someone to snap at. I wasn't going to be that person. Turning in my seat, I looked towards the road. For once, I wasn't going to be his verbal punching bag. No, I could do something else for him. I could make him forget, just for a moment. Maybe that was enough.

Chapter Fourteen Callie: “Psssst, Jamie.” I whispered, kneeling down beside the couch. He was asleep in our living room on one couch, with Colby on the other. I'd left the party early, but they'd stayed for a while. “Wake up.” At my nudge, he groaned in his sleep and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. He was shirtless and the blanket had fallen to the ground at some time in the night, revealing his smooth skin, marred by faint bruises and a scar that stretched over the lean muscles in his back. A surfing mishap. I'd been there the day he'd crashed into the rocks, hopping right back up as if nothing had happened and everything was okay - something he'd perfected throughout his life. “Wake up.” I glanced over at Colby, not wanting to wake him. He'd have questions as to why I was rousing his best friend in the wee hours of the morning. The sun was just starting to rise and we had to get going. One of Jamie's legs fell off the side of the couch as he shifted onto his back, one arm thrown over his face and the other resting on his bare chest. I watched him for a moment, suddenly not sure I should wake him after all. Screw that. “Jamie C- Daniels.” It almost slipped out of my mouth, that name. Reaching out, I grabbed his shoulder, his skin warm under my palm, and shook him lightly. He started abruptly, his eyes slamming open, and his hand shooting out to grab my arm. It took him a second to truly wake and realize where he was. His fingers pried themselves from my bicep and I rubbed the place they'd been. “If that leaves a bruise, Jamie, I swear to God …” The threat hung in the air between us and a lazy smile formed on his lips. I was still kneeling, my face close to his, and I realized how intimate it was. Leaning back to get some distance, I waited for him to say something. “Well, if you weren't waking me up so early, your bony little arm would be just fine.” “My arm is not bony,” I said defiantly. His smile widened. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he looked around. “Why are you waking me up? Realize you can't live without me for one second longer?” I put my hand over his mouth to shut him up as Colby stirred and placed a finger in front of my lips. “Do you want to do our project or not?” “Now?” He leaned back against his pillow like he didn't want to leave it. “Yes, now. Get your ass out of bed and for God's sake put on a shirt.” “Can't stand all this manliness?” He scooted to the edge of the couch to get closer to me. “Does being near a sexy man upset your sensibilities?” “I'll let you know when I meet one.” Patting him on the cheek, I stood. “Oh, Callie, you do wound me so.” A laugh escaped at the way he looked with his hands over his heart and his lip stuck out in a pout. Reaching down to grab his hands, I pulled him up. “Come on.”

Chapter Fifteen Jamie: “Are you shitting me?” I asked as we pulled into the drop zone parking lot. Up until now, she'd refused to tell me what her grand plan for this project was. The sun rose as we drove and was now lighting up the entire sky. Stepping out of the car and looking up towards the cloudless blue, I imagined myself up there as she ignored my question. Looking sideways at me, she grinned. “Don't tell me wittle Jamie is scared.” “No.” I straightened up. “Just didn't expect this from you.” “Something new,” she shrugged. “Something exciting. Up there, Jamie, nothing can touch us.” I met her eye, knowing exactly what she meant. “Aww, Callie girl, you may have just become my favorite person.” I used my brother's nickname for her, but it felt different than when he said it. Jay was gone, back to school. Colby was at home. Today it was just us and blue skies. Parker met us at the door, hugging Callie and giving me a smile. “I'm so excited you took me up on my offer, Callie,” she said. “Although, I didn't expect it so soon.” She turned to me. “Please tell me you're eighteen.” “Guilty,” I said. “Summer birthday.” “Perfect.” She clapped her hands together and ushered us into another room where equipment hung along the walls and rectangular tables sat in the middle of the room. Three other people were already inside. “We have five of you going up this morning,” Parker said. “But you're the only tandems. I'll be your instructor, Callie.” An older man with a long beard and weathered skin walked towards us. “Jamie, this is Hank. He's with you.” We spent the next two hours watching video and learning how to position our bodies while hurtling through the air. “Do I get to pull the chute?” I asked. “Not this time,” Hank answered gruffly. The last thing we did was learn how to land and then we were suiting up in warm clothes and jumpsuits. “Trust me,” Parker said. “It may be Florida, but 14,000 feet is still damn cold.” I stepped into my harness, letting Parker tighten it, and pulled on a pair of goggles. “Load five,” a voice said over the loud speaker. “This is your get it on call.” Everyone jumped to action and we were led across the landing zone to a small plane that looked like it had seen better days. A lump of fear formed in my throat as I thought about what I was going to do. Callie stopped walking in front of me, her feet frozen in place. She gasped in a breath as the people in front of us got further and further away as they made their way to the plane. Without thinking, I stepped up beside her, slipping my hand into hers. Our fingers laced together and I squeezed. There was no one else I'd rather be doing this with and that sudden realization slammed into me. I bent down, positioning my lips by her ear. “You can do this.” And it was true. This girl could do anything.

She shivered and I squeezed her hand tighter. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. “I'll do this, Jamie.” She turned her head, her face inches from mine. “But I need you there with me. One-hundred percent. When we step into that plane, there are no dead moms, no uncertain futures or asshole dads or abandoning mothers.” She paused. “You leave your shit here and so will I. We do this together. Parker once told me that up there you have the ability to forget, just for a moment. I need to forget and so do you.” I dropped her hand as her words sunk in and I realized what she'd said. “Abandoning mothers.” She knew. Everything. How? My chest rose slowly and I blew out a breath between my teeth. F-ing Jay. A calm began to settle over me as I looked at her, her eyes wide with fear of what I was thinking. After a long moment of charged silence, I reached out, brushing back a strand that'd fallen loose from her braid. My fingertips trailed along her cheek and I nodded slowly, taking her hand again. “Come on,” I said. We walked up to the plane and climbed in. Two metal benches lined the walls on the inside of the plane. I looked across from me and kept my eyes trained on Callie. We can do this. I gave her a sheepish look as the plane rumbled to life. It seemed to cough and groan as it left the ground behind, making her grip the bench until her knuckles turned white. The three solo skydivers bailed out at 10,000 feet and we finished the climb to 14,500. Parker hooked Callie's harness to hers and the door slid open causing light and wind to rush into the dingy craft. “We're up first!” Parker yelled to be heard. “We aren't quite at altitude so when we walk over, stand with your toes on the edge, but don't jump until I say.” Callie pulled her goggles down and stood before waddling over to the open door. “Good luck, Cal,” I yelled. She was able to pry one hand free of the door frame long enough to flip me the bird. I grinned as she disappeared from sight. Hank and I were next. One instant we were sitting on the bench, and the next we were at the open door. Everything in me screamed that this was wrong. My body wanted to revolt. You're not supposed to jump from a plane. What the hell were we doing? I couldn't see much with the blinding light and adrenaline causing my system to work on overdrive. This was stupid. God, was it stupid. I didn't want to do it anymore. My body wanted to be sitting back on that perfectly good bench. Just when I didn't think I could take it any longer, Hank spoke. “Ready?” “No.” His laugh vibrated through me. “Breathe. Breathe and jump.” Now or never. I dangled one foot out of the door for just a second before making the plunge. There was no stomach drop, no feeling of falling. Instead, our bodies were lifted as I arched my back. The wind rushed in my ears, causing all thought to leave my mind as the ground came into view. The ocean sparkled in the distance, a diamond, uncut and wild. A peace settled in my chest and I only wished it would last. This feeling, like nothing bad could happen to me, it was the closest I'd ever get to perfection. I screamed then, as loud as I could, knowing that not even Hank would hear me and not stopping until my throat felt raw. I closed my eyes for just a second, imagining I was rising instead of plummeting to the earth. I could fly. It was over too soon. My eyes popped open as I was jerked backwards and up as the parachute snapped open above us. The deafening noise that had been present since I stepped out of that plane was gone now, replaced by a calming silence as we floated through space. “Still scared, tough guy?” Hank's rough voice cut the string between reality and fantasy, jerking me out of my peace. “Wasn't that incredible? Gets me every time.”

“Incredible is one word for it.” The adrenaline I hadn't felt on the rapid decent hit me now like a rogue wave, washing over me, trying to pull me under. Excitement warred with fear, until my head finally broke the surface, my body buzzing. I was hanging suspended as we descended the last 6000 feet, but any sense of fear was pushed away. “Dude, this is sweet,” I said. “You'll never see the ocean the same way,” Hank agreed. It shone, large and dark. I'd spent most of my life in those waters, chasing waves, but this was a new perspective. Gulf city came into view, but it wasn't much to see from above. Pretty ugly actually. It took only ten short minutes to reach the ground with Hank steering our parachute towards the landing zone. I wasn't ready to go down yet. Things were so much simpler up there. They just didn't last. I pulled my legs up as we got close, just as I'd been taught. The harness tugged and strained on my upper thighs, making it harder. Hank was shorter than me and I didn't get them up high enough, causing my feet to hit first and sending us tumbling to the grass. He crashed into me, stealing my breath. “That's one way to land,” Hank laughed as he climbed off me and unhooked our harnesses. My heart hammered in my chest as I sat there, stunned to be back on the ground. Hank pushed his visor up and offered me a hand with a smile, knowing exactly what I was feeling, what I'd just experienced. Knowing that if this day wasn't the best day of my life, it was at least top five. I removed my goggles and gripped his hand to climb to my feet. Turning around, I started searching the landing zone. “Jamie.” Callie came barreling towards me, still high on adrenaline. I grinned and met her halfway, picking her up around the waist. She threw her arms around my neck, laughing. “That was the best thing ever,” I yelled, spinning her around. “It was crazy,” she responded. “If by crazy you mean just what we needed.” I stopped moving and pulled back to look at her. “Exactly.” Sliding down my body, her feet hit the ground, jolting her back to herself. She pulled away just as Parker ran over, taking a few pictures and then throwing an arm around each of us. I glanced towards Callie one more time to see the corners of her lips turn up as she watched me before letting Parker drag us inside to get out of our gear.

Chapter Sixteen Callie: “Where have you been all morning?” Colby asked, his mouth full of leftover pizza. I walked further into the living room and collapsed onto the couch beside him. “Oh, just jumping out of planes.” He snorted. “Good one.” “I guess you're right. It was only one plane.” He turned towards me, narrowing his eyes. “You're serious?” I shrugged with a nonchalance I didn't feel. In true annoying Colby fashion, he didn't press for details. He turned back towards the TV. “Kat was wondering why you weren't around to go to church this morning.” The hint of a smirk showed up on his face. He knew what he was doing to me. “That's all I get?” I ask. “I fall 14,000 freaking feet and my brother wonders why I didn't go to church?” His smirk was a full-blown grin now. “Church is important.” I slugged him, causing him to drop his piece of pizza back onto the plate. “Dude, it was like being in church. I've never felt so close to anything, yet so far away from everything at the same time.” “That…” He took a bite. “Makes zero sense.” “You wouldn't understand unless you did it yourself.” “Did what?” Aunt Kat asked from the doorway. “Callie decided eighteen years was long enough to live,” Colby answered. I knocked my shoulder into his. “Do you know you're more likely to die riding in a plane than jumping out of one?” “You went skydiving?” Kat asked. “Yeah.” I grinned. “Would this have anything to do with why Jamie was gone when I woke up?” Colby asked skeptically. “He's the only one I knew would do it with me.” That was only a half truth. I could have just gone with Parker. In reality, Jamie was the one who needed it as much as me. “I'm glad there's someone around who's as crazy as you.” Kat smiled, but then I caught Colby's scowl and my smile faded. He'd always had a bit of a problem with me being around any of his friends. He seemed to think that was a recipe for them to fall madly in love with me - or for me to fall madly in love with them. Probably more of the latter because I didn't exactly have his friends hanging on my every word. I wasn't younger than him, five minutes older in fact, but he treated me as fragile. Like I'd ever be into any of his friends. Jamie came to mind, but no, I was just starting to not hate him. It couldn't be beyond that. Plus, he had a girlfriend. A perfect, beautiful, popular girlfriend. “Oh, Kat, almost forgot to ask. How'd your date go this weekend?” Her cheeks reddened. “I so don't want to hear this.” Colby grimaced. “Noah was … well, he was great.” She smiled. “We're going out again tomorrow.”

“On a Monday?” Colby scoffed. “You're such an old man.” I poked his side. “He wanted to see her again soon. That's cute.” “Don't you guys have homework?” she asked. “On it.” I jumped from the couch. On the way to my room, I heard Colby say, “Since when does she do all her homework, let alone get excited about it?” “Oh, hush, you,” Kat responded. I shut my door and grabbed my laptop on my way to the bed. It wasn't due for another week, but suddenly, I couldn't wait to work on the creative writing project. I had so much to say, images flooding my mind, and I didn't want to lose any of it. My phone dinged with a text. Jamie: I heard the waves are good. You going? I thought for a moment, glancing between my phone and my computer then to the surfboard in the corner of the room. Me: Not this time. Working on our writing project. His response was immediate. Jamie: Me too. The waves will always be back. * * * Jumping out of a plane together seemed to thaw whatever ice had existed between me and Jamie. When we saw each other in the halls at school, we grinned as if we had a secret no one else knew. Maybe we did. We knew how to fly. After school, his soccer season continued as did my work schedule. When we weren't busy, we all hung out - Colby, Morgan, Jamie, Amelia, and the fifth wheel that was me. Sometimes Parker would join us or just convince me to leave the happy couples to their own devices and go out with her. I sat in the stands with Jamie and Colby when Morgan and Amelia had soccer games. I hadn't spent so much time with my brother in years. Sometimes I'd catch Jamie watching me. He'd smile when my gaze connected with his and heat flooded my face. Every. Single. Time. I didn't know what was wrong with me. We turned our writing projects in on a Monday and it felt as if I was handing over a piece of myself. Mr. Chase's kind eyes met mine when I released my story into his care. His smile was supposed to put me at ease, but it did the opposite. While writing the story, I hadn't thought of anyone else reading it. It felt deeply personal. I headed back to my desk, breathing deeply to keep myself from running and snatching back my words. “I still can't believe you went skydiving for a project,” Morgan said, scooting her desk closer to mine. “Jamie must be very convincing.” “It was my idea,” I said quietly, my eyes still focused on the stack of papers on Mr. Chase's desk. Her eyes widened. “I bow to the queen.” She mock bowed, finally making me laugh. “It wasn't a big deal.” “Really?” “Okay, it totally was.” I laughed. “What'd you and Matthew do anyway?” Her face scrunched up in disgust. “Ugh, we just went to the beach for like a second.” “And you got a story out of that?” “With some … embellishments.”

She waggled her eyebrows, but I only looked away. I loved being friends with Morgan, but some days were hard. If Colby weren't my brother, I'd probably have been one of those kids they tormented all through high school. I used to be friends with a few of them before shutting myself off. I knew what they went through. I wasn't strong enough to fight it. If I was a better person, I'd tell Morgan that how she and her friends treated Matthew was crappy. Heck the way they treated anyone outside their group sucked. Most of them still didn't talk to me. Only Morgan and occasionally Amelia. If Morgan wasn't dating Colby, would I just be another invisible to her? The sad thing was - I knew the answer to that was a resounding yes. “You okay today, Cal?” Morgan asked. “Fine,” I said before being saved by the bell. “I have to go to the office before calc.” It was a lie, but one that Morgan believed without question as I ditched her in the hall and hurried towards the stairwell. At the bottom, I almost collided with the large body of Rick Yellen. He didn't see me as he bulled his way into the stairwell, but I was yanked back as someone wrapped an arm around my waist from behind. My back slammed into a hard chest. “Watch where you're going, Callie girl.” Jamie chuckled, sending vibrations through my body. I pushed away from him, needing to get out of that school. “Wait up,” he called, but I was already booking it towards the front door. I didn't have a car anymore since Old Red died on me, but the beach wasn't far. Glancing back at the school, I legged it down the sidewalk, needing as much distance as my legs could give. I barely knew most of the kids I went to school with. Some I'd been friends with at one point since I grew up in town, but were no longer part of my life. Others I'd avoided. Or maybe they'd avoided me. Skydiving had given me a sense of contentment that lasted for a little while, but was wearing out as I lived the same old life with the same old people. I needed another shot. The beach would give me that feeling as long as I was there and that's what I needed now. It was an addiction. Could you be addicted to escaping? I didn't even know. Adrenaline? Sure. Forgetting? Definitely. My jaw dropped when I got to the beach. If there was ever such a thing as perfection, those waves were it. Bigger than we usually got, I couldn't remember surfing in such conditions, but I suddenly couldn't think of anything else. There were a few surfers out there, probably older, with more experience. I didn't care. This was why I'd felt such an urge to leave school. Something was pulling me here. Only a few problems. I was carless, suitless, and boardless. But I did have a phone. Me: Beach. Now. His response was quick. Jamie: In class. I snapped a picture of the waves and sent it. Jamie: Well, okay then. I grinned, putting my phone away and parking myself on the rocks. It didn't take long for the crunch of gravel to signify an oncoming car. Jamie slammed the door and sauntered towards me, an excited look in his eyes. “I thought you were in class,” I said. “I may have just walked out,” he responded, whistling through his teeth. “I have to get out there.” Dusting my pants off as I got to my feet, I turned towards him. “I need my board.” “Mine is in your garage,” he said.

Once at my house, I sprinted inside while he strapped the boards to the roof of his car. I came back out as he was rifling through a bag in his back seat. Looking through his tinted windows, I saw clothes, pillows, and food wrappers scattered around and shock choked off my words. He saw me and shame clouded his eyes. “I couldn't very well stay in my father's house right now.” “So, you're sleeping in your car?” I gasped. “Jamie.” He looked down, our mission forgotten for just a moment. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He stiffened immediately before lowering his head to rest his chin on my shoulder. I squeezed him tighter. “I'll talk to Kat,” I said, leaning back to run a hand over his head as if he was a young child. “You should have told me. Colby too. You could've stayed with us.” “I didn't want you to know.” He pressed the side of his face into my hand. “Hate to break it to you, but we know your dad is an ass.” That made him smile and he finally broke our embrace as if realizing for the first time that he was in my arms. “Shit.” He ran a hand through his hair wildly. “Amelia.” “What about Amelia?” “Just…” He gestured from me to him. “Us. And I'm with Amelia.” “Jamie.” I put a hand on his arm to calm him. “I just hugged you because you looked like you needed it. Don't get so full of yourself, yeah?” He looked away from me and chuckled before grabbing his bag and heading into the house to change. What I didn't tell him was that being that close to him made my heart pound so hard it hurt, but then it hurt more when it stopped. Oh man, what was I doing? Something inside of me had been turned on and I was afraid it wouldn't stop. I had feelings for Jamie Daniels.

Chapter Seventeen Callie: I ran down the beach, my board tucked under my arm, and splashed into the water. Jamie was right behind me. We weren't the only ones there, but there were enough waves for everyone. “Race you,” Jamie shouted. I grinned as the water lifted my board. Securing the Velcro leash around my ankle, I got on and started paddling furiously. Jamie had a head start and was in much better shape than me so he pulled ahead easily, looking back every now and again laughing. The car ride had been awkward, but that was forgotten as soon as the waves came into view. It was a single mindedness not unlike what we'd experienced skydiving. Maybe that's why I'd felt so at home up there. We hadn't had any good surf days for over a week now and it felt good to be back. As my hands scooped water, arms starting to burn, my mind began to clear, the confusion of earlier taking a back seat to pulsing adrenaline. Extending my arms, I dug my board through a large wave as it crashed around me. Coming out of it, I saw Jamie glance back, his blond hair dripping. He grinned, making me lose focus for just a second, long enough for a wave to flip me over. I clung to the smooth wood, squeezing my legs around the edges, and righted myself. Jamie was laughing. “Bastard,” I mumbled, unable to hide the sheepish smile on my lips. “Need a little help?” he asked, feigning worry. I kept moving, trying to catch up. We made it out past the breakers, far from the sandbar. He was sitting with his legs dangling in the water when I reached him. “Not a word,” I said darkly. “Then you wouldn't want me to ask if you want the first wave?” “So, you ask now?” I laughed. The last time we'd both been out here, he'd cut in on my wave, making me fall. I hated falling. His only response was a shrug. This was new territory for us. For years, we'd rotated around the same circles. Okay, he'd been the center of the circle and I'd been on the outside. But still, we'd been around each other when we were with Colby or Jay. That was only the second time we'd hung out together on purpose in years. It was the first time we'd surfed together. I pretended to scan the waves, not really seeing them. My mouth grew dry, the salt on my lips not helping any. I didn't know how to do this. Be friends. With Jay, it was always easy. Nothing with Jamie was that simple. “You gonna go?” Jamie asked, meeting my eye knowingly. “Huh?” He gestured to an oncoming wave that looked so perfect I was shocked he hadn't taken it. I kicked myself around and started to paddle. It was going to break early, I could tell, so I pushed myself up and planted my feet, letting the water carry me forward. This was what I knew. Not boys or friendships or anything they taught in school. For a

few moments, it was all I needed in this world. It broke over me, the wave barreling for a very short time before collapsing. I jumped off my board before it did and turned just in time to see Jamie, his tanned chest shining in the sun as he spread his arms wide. The wind picked his hair up from his neck and blew it out behind him. He looked strong, his leg muscles, toned from soccer and flexing as he turned his board. His black swim trunks hung low on his hips. I'd thought he was crazy for not wearing a wetsuit or at least a rash guard, but suddenly I was glad. He fell into his wave as it folded in on itself, his head popping up above the water moments later. I was still holding onto my board with my legs treading water so I swung back up on top and headed back out deep. We each caught a few more waves. My muscles ached, but I didn't want to stop. Each set grew larger than the last and I knew that as soon as school let out, there'd be many more people out here. “We should probably head in soon,” Jamie said, stretching his arms above his head and causing his muscles to contract. “What?” I snapped my head around to look at him. “Why?” “Don't you see what's happening here?” He gestured out to sea. “Most everyone else has already gone in. The waves are getting out of control.” I looked around, noticing for the first time that most of the other surfers were gone or in on the beach. Only two others continued to surf. Wanting to stay out here as long as possible, I turned around and started swinging my arms through the water. As the wave rolled, I struggled to stay up, my legs wanting to give out beneath me. But I did it. Bailing out of the wave before it took me in close, I paddled back out to where Jamie still sat. He'd been watching me carefully, his eyes worried. “Callie girl, come on,” he said. “Don't call me that.” For some reason, I no longer wanted him using Jay's nickname for me. I just couldn't stand it. Turning abruptly, I started out, my arms and legs still throbbing and weak from the last wave. This one came in at an angle and I didn't stop. I couldn't, even though I knew I should. I knew it as soon as I pushed myself up. My legs shook beneath me as I dropped into the craziest one I'd surfed all day. In seconds, I was caught in the lip of the wave and then flying forward towards the flat water below. My scream was muffled as the water swallowed me whole. There were very few times I could remember being scared in the ocean. To me, it'd always been something to love, not something to fear. But as I was flipped end over end, struggling to break the surface, a terror gripped my chest. I kicked as hard as my tired legs would let me, trapped and clawing to get out. I broke through long enough to suck in a breath of air before being pulled back under. As I fought, I lost track of which way was up. The light, my foggy brain nudged me. That's up. My board leash had long snapped and suddenly all I could think was that the board itself was probably broken. I pulled my head above water again, gasping and sucking in both air and water. Then I was choking and losing sight of the sky as the water closed in around me once again. A sharp pain shot up my leg, shocking my system, as it crashed against a rock that was hidden at the bottom. My mouth filled with water as I instinctively cried out. I barely registered the hands on my arms as I was pulled free of the water, my head lolling to one side. Then I was being lifted, limp in someone's arms. Someone said something to me, but I couldn't make out the words. We were moving quickly and then my back hit the sand. I flopped onto my side, my throat burning as I choked out the salty water. I heaved

until there was no more. Sucking in quick breaths, I turned to the woman crouching next to me. “You're okay,” she said, trying to reassure me. “My name is Freya. I'm a nurse.” She too was in a wetsuit, with her red hair tied on top of her head. The sound of someone crashing through the shallow water made me turn my head. Freya stepped back as Jamie came into view. “You really should go get that cut taken care of.” She gestured to my leg, then looked at Jamie as if trying to decide if he'd take me. Jamie dropped knees first into the sand by my head. “I'm just over there if you need me,” Freya said, pointing towards the other end of the beach before heading that way. “Are you okay?” Jamie ran his hands over me, checking for injury and finding the gash on my leg. “We should get this taken care of. I'll take you to the hospital. We need to call Kat and Colby, probably Morgan too. It's going to be fine. You're fine.” He pressed a hand to his forehead. “You're fine.” His words broke me, the terror of the last few minutes becoming real. “Jamie.” I started to cry. My leg throbbed. My lungs burned. I was shaken. He wiped at the tears of my face and I gripped his leg as if to tell him not to leave me. It was irrational because I knew he wouldn't, but the thought still gripped me. I couldn't stand to be alone after that. I pushed myself up on my elbows and he immediately pulled me to him. “It's okay,” he whispered in my ear. “You're fine.” It was the third time he'd said it and I got the impression he was reassuring himself just as much as me. More tears fell, my chest was shaking. Jamie kissed my forehead, his lips soft on my skin, then moved down to my cheek as if he could kiss away the tears. He lingered there, his breath warm, before pressing them to the corner of my mouth. His hands brought me closer to him, pressing me up against his chest, as I turned slightly to kiss him back. He hesitated. I slid my arms up around his neck and wound my fingers into his hair and that broke any last restraint he had. His next kiss was hard. “I was so scared,” he whispered against my lips. I kissed him, drawing my teeth against his bottom lip. He broke away for a moment, his hands now digging into my hips. “I …” “Jamie.” I put a hand over his mouth. “You're ruining it.” I felt his smile and he kissed my fingers until I replaced them with my mouth. I couldn't seem to care that we weren't alone on the beach. All I cared about was the fact that I may have almost died and now it was time to grab on to the nearest life-raft, consequences be damned. My breath shook as we shifted and broke apart. A stab of pain wound up my leg and I flinched. Jamie saw it, his eyes going wide. “Shit, we need to get you to the hospital.” He stood regretfully, bending down to lift me easily, his eyes refusing to meet mine. My mind spun out of control as I touched my tingling lips, the feeling mixing with the pain in my leg to create a cloud of confusion. What had just happened? * * * Kat rushed into the room as I was helped off the table. “Callie, are you okay?” she asked, pulling me into a hug. “Jamie said you'd had a pretty bad spill off

your board.” “Not going to yell at me for skipping school?” My joke fell flat. She pulled me into her arms. “Just a few stitches,” I reassured her. “Jamie said it was serious. You had to have help from some nurse at the beach?” “Is Jamie still here?” I looked past her apprehensively. He hadn't come into the exam room with me. “No,” she said, holding my face between her hands to look at me. “He had to go take care of something.” I did my best to keep my face blank, but was sure the disappointed showed, hoping aunt Kat would chalk it up to exhaustion. That was exactly what she did. The doctor who'd stitched me up told me to avoid putting too much strain on the leg for a few days, but I was good to go. With aunt Kat's help, I made it to her car. At home, I found the two halves of my board leaning up against the front door. Inside my room, I laid them gingerly on my desk and collapsed on my bed. That board was my mom's. When I was on it, I always felt closer to her, like she'd make sure nothing happened to me out there. Well, it had. Tears came to my eyes. Wiping them away angrily, I turned onto my side away from the board. That wasn't supposed to happen. The waves had always healed me. Never hurt me. Until now.

Chapter Eighteen Jamie: “I don't understand,” Amelia said, her voice growing thick. Please don't cry. Please don't cry. “I just can't do this anymore,” I said. “It isn't fair to you.” “What isn't fair to me? Is there someone else?” Was there? “No,” I said finally. “That's not what I meant.” An image of Callie on the beach broke into my thoughts, her body soft beneath mine. Then that image changed to her getting thrashed about in the waves and me too far away to help. I stumbled back. Amelia didn't notice. “But you slept with me like last week.” “I know.” I was always one to skip through relationships, but now actually felt bad about it. “Look, Amelia.” I put my hands on her shoulders. She looked up at me, her lip quivering but an anger stirring in her eyes. “I'm sorry. I'm not the guy for you.” “You're right about that,” she snapped. “You never were good enough.” Her words hit a little too close to home and I released her, turning away. “I have to go.” “Ass,” she yelled to my back. I sat in my car, my hands shaking. I could've lost her, Callie. Resting my head back against the headrest, I squeezed my eyes shut. She wasn't mine. She was Colby's. She was Jay's. And they'd never allow me to go there. Knowing she'd be home by now, I headed there. It was time we had a talk. I paused with my hand raised to knock on the door, glancing to each side to make sure Colby and Kat were both in their rooms. I didn't know what I was doing. This wasn't okay, but I'd seen her almost drown today and that wasn't an image I could shake. I needed to see her, touch her, to reassure myself she was okay. My knuckles rapped softly against the door and I held my breath as I waited. “Sleeping,” came her voice on the other side of the door. I leaned my forehead against the solid wood. “Callie.” I opened the door slowly and she sat up on her bed, combing her fingers through her hair desperately. I stood there, silently watching her. I'd replaced my swim trunks with jeans and a bright yellow polo. Callie had opted for a pair of sweats and ratty old t-shirt. We were so different, the two of us, but I liked that about her. She didn't try too hard. “We need to talk,” I said quietly. Hurt entered her expression and I wanted to kick myself for putting it there. She knew what I was going to say. “Just go,” she begged. “Please.” Her eyes shifted away from me and my stomach twisted. Tears shone in her eyes and I followed her gaze to where it now rested on her broken board. This couldn't be going any worse. “We can't do this, Cal.” I leaned against the door frame and hung my head. I wished I could tell her these words hurt me as much as they did her.

“I know.” she sniffed. A steely resolve entered her eyes as she tried to shove her weakness away. I wanted to tell her I didn't think it was weakness at all. She was the strongest person I knew. “You're with Amelia.” Those words startled me. How could she ever think I'd choose Amelia over her? Now, this was about more than my ex. I looked up at her. “I broke up with her. That's why I left you at the hospital.” She looked up suddenly, urging me to continue. I did. “She's a nice girl. It wasn't fair to stay with her when I had feelings for someone else.” She reached out as if to touch me, but I was too far away. Pushing herself up from her bed, the pain showed on her face as she put weight on her leg. She wobbled and I lurched forward to catch her around the waist and ease her back onto the bed. When she was lying back down, I released her quickly. I jumped away from her bed and started pacing. “I don't understand,” she finally said. I didn't say anything for a long moment before turning towards her and bursting out. “You're Jay's!” “Excuse me?” “He's my brother and it's always been you two. Everyone assumed it always would be. I can't do that to him.” She pushed up again, her sudden anger keeping her going. “I don't belong to anyone. Jay has a girlfriend.” “But we all know he's just waiting for you.” “No, he's not. God, all you people don't know what you're talking about. I make my own decisions. Jay doesn't have any hold over me and I don't have any over him. We're friends. Get that through your thick skull. God, you drive me insane.” “What about Colby? He'd be so pissed.” “What does he have to be pissed about? Right now, I'm more likely to kill you than kiss you again.” “But he's your brother and my best friend.” I scratched my jaw, looking back towards the door, not wanting to tell her Colby had forbidden me from seeing her. “You're talking and all I hear is blah blah blah.” I stopped pacing at the side of her bed, right in front of her, smiling at her words. “Blah blah blah, huh?” With confidence, she reached out and took my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. She tugged and I couldn't make myself stop her this time. Bunching her other hand up in my shirt, she used it to pull me down onto the bed. “Maybe we shouldn't tell Colby,” she said. I winced at that, but all resistance had left me and my voice came out slightly strangled. “Definitely not.” My lips seared the promise into her. I'd figured out what I was a long time ago - an escapist. Surfing, skydiving - they gave me everything I needed. But Callie, she was the ultimate escape.

Chapter Nineteen Callie: Mom smiled at me, sitting up straight on her board as the waves raced towards the shore in front of us. She was beautiful, perfect. My entire life, everyone told me I was just like her. Not the beautiful part, but the personality. I watched as she threw her head back, laughing at something the man on her left said. That smile she wore was just for him. He was faceless, but a warmth radiated out from him. That board she rode, I recognized it and a twisting in my gut began. She raised her face to the sun, basking in its glow on her skin. She was happy. Then she looked at me, a look filled with love and regret. “Callie,” she said. I jolted awake, tears stinging my eyes. I didn't let them fall. When my gaze landing on the broken board, it hardened. I couldn't think about that. But what about the faceless man? It wasn't the first time I'd dreamed about him. By now, I knew who he was supposed to be. My father. The man I'd never met. Mom told me a long time ago that he left her and us, but I couldn't shake the look of bliss on her face from my dreams. Had she loved him? I closed my eyes, trying to shake those images out of my head. I was putting way too much stock in a dream, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to put a face on that man. Was I crazy? Didn't everyone want to know their father? No, not father. Sperm donor. That was a better term for someone who'd left. Aunt Kat always said she didn't know much, but I wondered how true that was. I looked up as my door opened slowly. Jamie's tentative smile took me out of my own thoughts. “Hi.” My voice was more breathless than I'd have liked. He shut the door and was kneeling by the bed in a matter of seconds. He kissed me, but I pushed him away. “Dude, I haven't even brushed my teeth yet.” “I don't care.” He held my face between his hands and kissed me again. “Ew.” I laughed, rolling away from him and standing on my good leg. He ran to the other side of the bed and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Must be nice to be a slacker.” “Ummm …” I pointed to my leg. “Injured. Almost died. Ring a bell?” “Slacker,” he breathed against my lips. “What are you even doing in here? Colby might find out.” “Relax,” he laughed. “He thinks I'm in the bathroom.” “Then you should go.” I shoved at him. “Nuh uh, one more kiss.” My lips parted and he took that as invitation to explore, his tongue rough and demanding against mine. I was breathless when he finally released me, winking as he left my room. Sinking back onto the bed, I tried to wrap my head around what was happening. That had been Jamie, right? Jamie Daniels? Since when did he make my heart race like this? The boy I'd spent so long not liking. The one who was arrogant and self-centered. The one with an ego the size of Florida.

Well, I thought. That was one way to take my mind off everything else. * * * Jamie and Colby left for school, but Kat allowed me to stay home. She also gave me the day off from the diner. My leg wasn't that bad and I probably could've gone, but who was I to complain? Still in my pajamas, I relaxed into the couch and started flipping through channels. Boredom soon enveloped me and I decided to take a long bath, hanging my freshly stitched leg out of the tub. It soothed my aching muscles. I'd been thrashed pretty thoroughly the day before. Other events kept me from thinking about it too deeply. Jamie's lips on mine as he realized I was okay came to mind. The two were connected now. The sinking, drowning feeling and the relief of his warmth. The terror of losing control and the thrill of being under his control. When I closed my eyes, I pictured it. The wave tossed me about like a ball being passed as a part of some game. For a second I hadn't been able to see anything, then I was pulled up. The sea was so cruel, the land my savior. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be out there and now I couldn't imagine it. My peace no longer existed, my safe place was gone. I climbed out of the tub and dried off as I walked into my room to throw on some clothes and crawl back into bed. I jolted awake when the front door slammed. “Cal,” Colby called. “In here.” I jumped up and grabbed my computer so I didn't look like I'd been in bed all day. He pushed through the door and took his glasses off. “You've been sleeping all day?” Damn. “What does it look like?” I asked. “I'm working on something.” He moved around the bed and I wasn't quick enough to shut the laptop before he caught a glimpse of the blank screen. “Huh.” He regarded me, slightly worried. “I figured you'd be going stir crazy stuck in the house all day. Want me to drop you at the beach before going to the diner?” “Shouldn't you be at soccer?” “Off day.” He shrugged. I tried to hide my hesitation. No, I didn't want to go to the beach. “Jamie told me what happened yesterday.” “What?” I choked on the word. “Your spill.” “Oh.” Could he see the relief on my face? Or was that guilt? “I'm fine. I'll just come with you to the diner.” I scrambled off my bed, running my hands through my hair as I did. I'd fallen asleep with it wet and there was nothing I could do but tie it back. As soon as we walked inside, Colby ducked behind the counter and I slid onto a stool. “Coffee?” Colby asked with a smirk. “God, no. Just water. And can you slide a piece of Kat's key lime pie my way?” “You've got it.” The place was slow, so after Colby brought me my pie and checked on the one other table in the place, he leaned against the counter, looking around for Kat.

“She must be in the kitchen,” I said. He just grunted, then his face turned serious. “Look, Cal, there's something I need to talk to you about.” I swallowed a bite of pie, nodding for him to continue. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I don't know if I should be talking about this with you. It's totally breaking bro-code.” “Bro-code?” I laughed, taking a sip of water. “I think Jamie has a thing for you.” I almost spit water at him, but ended up choking instead. “Hold on,” I wheezed, working to keep the truth from showing up on my face. Jamie did have a thing for me. That I was sure of. Colby looked like it was the most horrible thing he could think of. I couldn't tell him the truth. “That's ridiculous,” I said finally. “See.” He pounded his hand on the counter. “That's what I thought. You guys haven't been able to stand each other in years. But then, he's been mentioning you lately. A lot. At first, I thought it was because you were becoming friends, which is weird enough. Then it seemed like more. And yesterday he broke up with Amelia who was totally perfect for him.” Meaning I wasn't perfect for him. At that moment, I wanted to punch my brother. “Jamie doesn't exactly have the best record with girls.” He was oblivious to my obvious change in demeanor. “And you do?” I spat. “At least I'm nice to them,” he bit back. “I can't and won't have him liking my sister.” He pounded his fist again, causing me to jump this time. “Sorry,” he sighed. “Look, he hasn't exactly had things easy. There are things you don't know.” I neglected to tell him just how untrue that was, so he went on. “Just, be nice, okay? I know you can be a little harsh, but I'm asking you to let him down easy. He doesn't take rejection well.” My anger began to calm. My brother was only looking after me. He was right about Jamie, I knew he was. I knew this probably wouldn't end well, but couldn't seem to care. Just like everything else we'd been doing lately, this was exciting. The rush would eventually wear off, but for now he was my high. I thought back to that end of summer beach party when we'd decided this year would be great. We'd be great. I doubt this was what either of us meant. A soft chuckle escaped my lips and Colby looked at me strangely. “I'll be easy on him,” I promised with a smile he couldn't possibly have known the meaning of. He didn't get a chance to ask, because an old, lumbering figure took the stool beside me. “You kids look chipper today,” Seth said. His voice was clear, but there was something sad about the way he hunched over the counter not meeting our eyes. “Afternoon, Seth.” Colby flipped over a mug and poured him some coffee. “We usually only see you in the morning,” I said. “I was out,” he said tiredly. “My daughter had to work all day so it was up to me to take my grandson in for treatment.” As he talked, it seemed like he'd forgotten we were there altogether. “He'll be in the hospital for a few days under watch. Another mental break.” He finally looked at us. “Do you know about any problems with bullying at your school? That's where he goes.” I looked away, afraid he'd see the look of shame. Meeting Colby's eyes, I saw the same emotion in him. “It's actually a pretty big issue.” I was glad Colby could speak because my tongue seemed glued to the roof of my mouth.

“That's what I thought.” Seth shook his head. “We don't know what to do with that boy. How to help him.” Seth looked so lost that I put a hand on his shoulder. “I'm sure you're doing the best you can.” Colby left to go take the orders of a couple who'd just walked in and I sat with a despondent and silent Seth. Uncomfortable didn't begin to describe the situation, but I couldn't just leave him. Kat finally appeared, taking in the man sitting next to me. “Callie,” she said. “Why don't you go roll some silverware.” I didn't tell her I wasn't supposed to be working because she was throwing me a life-line. I hopped up and limped behind the counter as she replaced me. She talked to Seth in a low voice as I turned away. * * * Jamie stayed with us for a few weeks with no word from his dad. He'd sneak into my room and we'd kiss as long as we could without being caught. It never went further than that and we got pretty good at the whole stealth thing. I should have felt bad. I was lying to Colby, Kat, Morgan and everyone else. But instead, I felt exhilarated. I didn't go back to the beach, I couldn't stand it. The broken pieces of my mom's board now rested beneath my bed, out of sight. The dream returned, but then Jamie was able to push it out of my mind. Before we knew it, it was November. The weather grew cooler and the rains lessened. I didn't skip any more school and even received an A for the story on our skydiving adventure. Mr. Chase told us that before the holidays we'd be reading some of them aloud. Mr. Chase, he hung around the diner quite a bit and I even saw him at home. The way aunt Kat looked at him started to remind me of the way Mom gazed at the faceless man in my dream. It made me smile to see her that way, but also sad because it obviously hadn't ended well for my mom. If it had, I'd know my dad. The school hall buzzed around me as I walked towards Creative Writing, which had quickly become my favorite class. Before I made it there, a hand gripped my upper arm, pulling me into the women's bathroom. “What are you doing?” I demanded, whipping my head around to make sure we were alone. “You shouldn't be in here.” Jamie grinned. He was getting riskier. I couldn't say I hated it. Before I knew it, my back was pressed up against the door. I dropped my backpack to the ground and hooked my fingers into his belt loops, pulling him closer. When his lips brushed against mine, I didn't think about anything else. I couldn't say if my mind was clear or just too full of this boy who'd taken me by storm. “I missed my morning kiss,” he growled. “Because you went on an early run with Colby.” I shrugged. “Not my fault.” He pressed his mouth to the hollow of my throat and an embarrassing moan escaped me. His lips curved up against my skin, his words vibrating off it as he spoke. “What are you doing to me, Callie?” I pulled him in for another kiss. “Colby had a chat with me about you the other day,” he said, breaking away. That cooled the fire in my veins in record time. I slipped out of his arms and walked towards the mirrors. Gripping the sides of the sink, I hung my head, refusing to look back at him. “He talked to me about it too,” I admitted.

“What'd he say to you?” “No.” I turned around. “You first.” Jamie ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, shifting his feet nervously. A look of anger crossed his face as he thought about it, but then it was gone. “He says you're off limits. That he could tell I was into you, but you aren't the type of girl I usually go after.” Now it was my time to be angry. “Well, excuse me if I'm not one of those pin-ups out there.” I gestured towards the hall. “So, my brother doesn't think I'm pretty enough or popular enough for the great Jamie Daniels?” Jamie moved forward quickly, grabbing my hips to keep me from stepping away from him. “No, Callie. Just … no.” He rested his forehead against mine, our breaths mingling. “He says I'm just going to mess with your mind.” “Are you?” I whispered, closing my eyes as he pressed closer. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he pushed himself away instead. “I don't know.” I gripped the sink again to keep him from seeing my shaking hands. “He told me to let you down easy.” “Is that what you're going to do?” he asked quietly. “It'd be easier,” I admitted, pausing. “But when has my life ever been easy?” He stopped shifting to look at me. “So, you want to keep doing this?” “No. I want to be with you, Jamie, but I want to tell my brother.” “Absolutely not.” His eyes hardened. “You don't get it. Colby is my best and oldest friend. He's my brother. And he's made it very clear that if I go there with you, that's over.” “Bit dramatic, isn't it?” I asked, surprised my brother would go to those lengths. “Have you told Jay about us?” “No way. He'd be worse than Colby about it.” “Exactly. You wouldn't risk your best friend.” “That's different.” “Why, because I haven't slept with Colby?” I squeezed my eyes shut and sucked in a breath to keep from saying something I'd regret. I didn't sleep with Jay, but didn't feel like sharing that bit of information with my anger simmering. “I'm late to class.” Before I got to the door, it swung open and Morgan walked in, stopping when she spotted the two of us. “Oh, uh …” she laughed. “Didn't realize this was occupied.” She gave me an inquisitive look. “Mr. Chase is wondering where you are, Cal.” I ducked out into the hall. Jamie didn't follow me, but Morgan did. “Didn't you need to pee or something?” I snapped. “Nah, just wanted to get out of class. This is better.” She leaned in to whisper even though there was no one around. “You and Jamie?” “No, we were just -” “I know what I saw. You guys were arguing and your lips are all swollen. Tell me something, as one of the few girls in this school who hasn't kissed him, is he good?” “I think that's an exaggeration.” “What? That he's good or that he's gotten around?” “Morgan,” I sighed. “Fine, fine.” She held her hands up in surrender. “I just thought you guys hated each other.” “You can't tell Colby.” I stopped outside our classroom and looked her in the eye. “Please.”

“Why?” The understanding dawned on her face. “Ohhhh, he doesn't want his sister dating the school Lothario.” “Morgan.” “Alright, I'll let you guys have your dirty little secret.” I gave her a grateful smile and followed her into the room. “Callie,” Mr. Chase said. “You have a good excuse, I hope.” I shrugged and he shook his head, disappointment shining in his eyes. Sometimes it was hard to separate Mr. Chase the teacher from Noah the guy who spent most of his free time hanging around the diner for the few spare minutes aunt Kat had to give him. He continued talking as I took my seat. “Today we're going to begin reading the stories you all turned in. We'll also be reading the work of your partners in the other class in order to compare points of view. Morgan, we are beginning with you and your partner, Matthew.” She scrunched her face and the other girls around her laughed. I didn't join them this time because all I could picture was old Seth slumped over the counter at the diner. Morgan's story wasn't bad. It was about two people from different walks of life exploring the beach together. She wrote it as if they had a wonderful time and she came out looking good. It was a fluff story that didn't delve too much into their interactions with each other. When Mr. Chase finished, I found myself leaning forward, anxious to hear the other side to the story. Morgan accepted congratulations from her friends who also told her that at least it was over. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, my fight with Jamie giving me less tolerance for those girls. Morgan's words rang in my head and I couldn't help but wonder which of them he'd hooked up with. Those thoughts were pushed aside as Mr. Chase began Matthews story. His main character was named Andy. “Andy was never the most popular kid,” Mr. Chase read. “School was a nightmare for him and there were people there who only tried to make it worse. Sally was one of them.” Morgan shifted in her seat uncomfortably as Mr. Chase continued. “She didn't bully him like others did. No, she wasn't that type of person. What she did was worse. She didn't know he existed. Every day in the halls at school, he'd hope she just looked at him. Hell, he hoped anyone would look at him. That was the only thing he was good at, going through life unseen.” Mr. Chase hesitated, not sure he should continue. We hadn't been told ahead of time that these would be read out loud. He made a decision and stuck with it. “Then Andy was thrust into Sally's view. She didn't want it and he didn't blame her. He wouldn't want to be seen with him either. Her disgust showed on her face even if she didn't voice it. But Andy had been through worse that very week so he did what he always did, he got through it.” By the end of the story, all energy was drained from the room. No one said a word. Morgan and Matthew had gone to the beach as she'd said, but her friends came along. They barely spoke to him. He'd watched them with longing, just wanting to be noticed. There was none of the anger I'd expect in his story, only desperation. No one was snickering now or talking about Matthew with disdain. What none of them knew was that at that very moment, Matthew was in the hospital. They'd put him there. We'd all put him there. Without a word, Morgan stood up and left, her classmate's eyes burning into her back. I should have gone after her, but couldn't. I was glued to my seat. Mr. Chase put the stack of stories in his desk drawer, deciding that was enough for today. “Let's start today's writing prompt.” He cleared his throat. “Poetry.” * * *

I pulled my brother's car into the parking lot in front of the apartments across from the University of South Florida's campus. He'd let me borrow it only after making me beg. Sadist. As soon as I woke up on Saturday, the urge to see my best friend was strong. I needed him to talk some sense into me, to tell me what I already knew. I was an idiot. Getting involved with Jamie. Being friends with Morgan's crowd. None of it was me. Did I want the old me back? Maybe that was why I was here. But I couldn't stop thinking of Jamie. His blond hair, clear eyes, and solid arms. I liked what he did to me. When it was just us, who we used to be didn't matter so much. Then the rest of the world would close in, suffocating us and cutting us off before we could even get started. I cut the engine and pulled out my phone to send Jay a text. Me: You home? Jay: ??? Me: I'm sitting outside your apartment. At least I hoped it was his place. I thought the address was right. A few short moments passed before the front door of the building was flung open, Jay rushing out of it. He stopped when he saw me. Flipping dark hair out of his eyes, he unleashed his most Jay-like grin, making me suddenly feel like everything was going to be okay. He had that effect on people. He was at my door before I'd even stepped out, practically pulling me from the car. “What are you doing here, Callie girl?” he asked, pulling me into a strong hug. I rested my head on his shoulder. “Can't a girl just miss her best friend?” A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest as he released me. “Do you have a bag?” “I'm not staying the night. Kat wants me back today so I can go to church in the morning.” He threw an arm over my shoulders, squeezing me to his side, and leading me inside. “I'm glad you're here.” “I'm not ruining any plans with your girlfriend or anything, am I?” “Nah, she went home for the weekend. I'm all yours.” I smiled at the thought of that. Any romantic feelings I'd had for Jay were washed away when I thought of Jamie. I'd never been this confused about where things stood with Jay, always knowing that we were good for the moment, but there was a time limit on our relationship. It felt safe that way. Jamie was anything but safe. If I wasn't careful, I'd lose more than just a few kisses to him. We'd end up hurting each other. We were made to be at odds. “You okay?” Jay unlocked the door to his place and showed me in. “I've been hooking up with Jamie.” The words were out before I could stop them. He stood in the doorway in stunned silence as I walked past him, trying to turn my mind to anything else. The apartment was not what I'd expect from a college student. Expensive black furniture adorned the immaculate space. Silver and blue abstract artwork hung perfectly placed. The kitchen was small, but clean. I stopped near the dark wood dining room table and gripped the back of a chair to steady myself. Jay still hadn't reacted, a bomb that had yet to go off. His footsteps sounded on the hardwood floor as he walked into the kitchen briskly, grabbing a glass from a cabinet and filling it at the faucet. Tipping it against his lips, he still didn't look back at me. I know that wasn't how I should tell him, but I was all tied up in knots and needed to get it out. “Is that why you made me tell you about his mom?” Jay still wouldn't face me as he spoke. “No,” I said softly, trying to strengthen my voice. I let go of the chair and took tentative steps towards him. “Nothing had happened at that point. I didn't feel …” I couldn't finish that sentence. Jay finally spun around, a fiery look dancing in his eyes. “Didn't feel what?” He stepped towards

me. “You said you were hooking up with my brother. Now you say you feel something?” “No,” I yelled. “God, I shouldn't have told you.” His eyes softened then and he slumped back against the counter. “You've never kept anything from me before. Don't start now.” My smile started out small. This was my Jay. This was why I came. He set his glass down and gestured to the living room. I followed him and sank back into his plush couch. “Oh my God, this is the best thing ever.” I sighed. He laughed. “Thank my father for that and pretty much everything else in this place.” “Not likely.” I scowled. “Cal, he's not so bad.” “To you maybe.” I turned to look him in the eye. “Did you know Jamie is living with us?” “So, that's how this happened? Makes sense. Jamie hasn't met a pretty girl he didn't want in his bed so living with one probably makes that even worse.” “Hell, you are more like him than you'd admit. For your information, he thinks I slept with you. In case anyone else is listening, I'm not screwing the Daniels brothers.” “Good.” The relief on his face only made me angrier. “You know, Colby told Jamie that I was off limits. I don't need another over-protective asshole. I can take care of myself.” “Colby said that? Good for him.” I punched him in the arm as hard as I could. “I'm out of here.” He grabbed my hand as I stood and pulled me back to the couch. “Look, I'm sorry. Stay. Talk to me. You obviously drove all the way here for a reason.” “I just needed to get out of Gulf city.” “Bullshit. You came to see if I'd tell you what you're doing is a bad idea.” “Maybe a little.” “It is.” I looked at him sharply. “What?” “Jamie is not someone you need in your life. He has issues that he'll never get over and if you let him in, he's only going to burn you from the inside out.” Jay's eyes bore into me, unrelenting and stern. I shrank away from his stare. “What if he's already in?” I asked quietly. He shut his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, all hardness was gone. He reached for me and I curled up against his side. He didn't have an answer for my question. When I looked up at him, he seemed lost in thought. “Are things really that bad between him and my dad?” he asked suddenly. “Worse.” Jay sighed. “I may not like that he's in your life, but I'm glad you're in his.” Nothing else needed to be said as we settled in and he flipped on the TV. The news blinked on. “You hear about this?” Jay asked. “Hurricane Anna is churning up the gulf.” “Is it going to hit?” Hurricanes and tropical storm warnings weren't anything new to us. “Does it ever really hit us?” he laughed. “We'll probably just get the rain.” “Hmmm.” I leaned in towards the TV. It'd been a slow hurricane season and they were rare in November even though the season didn't officially end until the last day of the month. I glanced sideways at my best friend, remembering all the times we'd watched potential storms and then headed out to the beach - me to surf, him to watch the waves pick up.

Closing my eyes to still the panic in my chest at the thought of being out in the water, I opened them to find Jay watching me knowingly. Bastard. He knew me too damn well.

Chapter Twenty Jamie: It was late when I snuck down the hall and knocked on Callie's door. “Cal?” I whispered. “You awake?” “Well, if I hadn't been, I would be now.” “Sorry.” I turned to go, not wanting to bother her. “Wait,” she hissed. “Get your ass in here.” “Oh, you like my ass, do you?” I laughed, pushing open the door. I found her sitting at her desk, staring at a stack of college brochures. “Finally going to fill out your applications?” I asked. “I'm not really sure,” she said, glancing up. “I was just thinking about mom and what she'd want.” I walked over to her and bent down to wrap my arms around her. “What are you doing?” she asked. “We're done fighting.” I kissed the top of her head before lifting her to her feet. “Just like that?” “Yeah.” I smiled shyly when she faced me. “Just like that.” Leading her towards the bed, I pulled back the covers and slid in, scooting over to make room for her. When she took the invitation, I released a sigh and pulled her against me. She didn't resist and it felt good to have her in my arms. It felt right. My arms circled her waist and I nudged her hair to the side to press kisses against her soft skin. A shiver ran up her spine and I grinned against her shoulder. My hand dipped under her tank, rubbing small circles along the flat planes of her stomach as my lips continued their trail along her neck. A groan escaped her lips and I clutched her tighter. “That was the sexiest thing I've ever heard.” “You shouldn't be in here,” she whispered. “What if Colby wakes up? Or Kat? And you aren't asleep on the couch.” In one swift movement, I flipped her around so she was facing me. She let out a yelp of surprise. “Shhh,” I whispered, brushing my lips against hers. “Let's just make sure they don't wake up.” I cut off any further words with a crushing kiss that I felt in every bone in my body. Wrapping her arms around my back, she molded herself to me, throwing one leg over mine. “Mmmm,” I moaned. “You taste sweet.” My wandering hands pushed her tank up higher until half her stomach was bare. I bent down to drop tiny kisses on the exposed skin, leaving fire in my wake. She ran her hands through my hair, tugging on the ends. I looked up at her with heated eyes. As I moved back up towards her, she surprised me by pushing my shirt up. I yanked it off over my head. She sucked in a breath and sat up, pushing me down in the same movement. Starting at the dip of my throat, she kissed her way down, using her tongue to draw circles on my skin. She'd just started tracing the ridges of my abs when a door opened into the hall. She stilled, her face hovering over my chest, listening intently. My muscles tensed, waiting. We heard the bathroom door open and shut. A minute later, it opened again. We didn't move until we heard a bedroom door close.

She collapsed onto me with a sigh, burying her face in my neck. My arms held her to me. “This sucks,” she mumbled. “I don't know,” I chuckled. “All this sneaking around is kinda hot.” She pinched my side and I flipped her over, still laughing. “You want it rough now, do you?” I asked, not giving her a chance to respond before my fingers dug into her sides. “No,” she whined. “I hate being tickled.” she squirmed beneath me, but I pinned her between my legs, continuing the onslaught. Despite what I'd said, I wasn't rough about it, my hands working themselves up her sides as she twisted and laughed. Suddenly I wasn't tickling her anymore. Instead, I was sliding her tank up and over her sexy white bra. I took it off over her head and didn't waste any time moving towards her shorts. Her breath quickened as my touch grazed the skin under the band of her shorts. “Jamie.” Her voice came out a strangled cry and I stilled, kicking myself for pushing her too far. She shrank into herself, rolling over and pulling her legs up towards her chest. “I'm sorry,” she said into my pillow. A thought struck me, but, no it couldn't be true. She'd been with Jay. But there was something about the way she looked at me now. I sat back on my heels. “You're a virgin.” “Ugh.” She buried her face again. “Don't say that word.” “Why not?” I leaned down towards her, forcing her to look at me. “It sounds so … technical.” She pushed me back and got out of bed. “I'm so not talking about this with you.” “You told me you slept with my brother.” “No. You assumed.” She stomped towards the door and flipped the light on, shielding her eyes from the sudden brightness. “You were an ass about it actually.” Still stunned, I walked over to her, turning the light back off. “Hey.” She tried to move me, but I wouldn't budge. “Someone is getting cranky.” I grabbed her hips and turned her towards me. “You need to sleep.” My head bent to capture her lips in an agonizingly slow kiss that was broken way too quickly. I left her to her darkness, her taste still on my tongue and her confession still on my mind.

Chapter Twenty-One Callie: Sweet dreams always end too abruptly, ripping the dreamer from a world that was infinitely better than their own. I'd been surfing, something I hadn't even tried since my accident. The waves were curling around me, a perfection that's only possible in the dream world. Suddenly, I was being jolted awake, two hard bodies landing on my bed. “Wake up,” Colby said, shaking my shoulders. I groaned, opening one eye to find my brother and Jamie both inches from my face. Liberating one arm from the covers, I swatted at them. “We have to go soon.” Colby sounded irritated, but I knew he found it funny to see the many ways he could wake me up. “Fine,” I grumbled, kicking my feet free. The movement sent an unsuspecting Jamie sprawling to the floor. I couldn't hold in my laugh. Colby held his sides as he doubled over. As I scrambled over Jamie, he caught my leg. “Jamie.” I landed on him. Hard. The air rushed out of him. “Serves you right,” I laughed. Colby watched us curiously as I took too long to extricate myself from Jamie's arms. I scrambled to my knees, earning myself a smack on the ass. Colby tensed, but his shoulders relaxed as I left the room. I didn't realize I'd been followed until I was standing in the bathroom in front of the sink. Jamie appeared next to me, reaching for his toothbrush as I grabbed mine. He winked at me in the mirror, putting the toothbrush into that perfect mouth. I brushed my teeth slowly, trying hard to ignore him. He nudged my shoulder, his arm coming around me for a fraction of a second before it dropped. The door was open and my brother was around. I nudged him back before bending forward to spit into the sink. He followed suit and wiped his mouth before pressing a light kiss to my cheek. A blush rose up my face, but he was gone and it was time for me to get ready to go. Jamie shifted in the backseat of Kat's car, unable to sit still. “What is wrong with you?” I whispered. He hesitated a moment, looking out the window, before turning to pin me with darkened eyes. “I haven't been to church since the last time I saw my dad.” Understanding dawned and I longed to reach out to him. My eyes flicked to Kat and Colby in the front seats and I thought better of it. “Are you scared to see him?” I asked stupidly. “A little,” he admitted. “I don't know if I'm more nervous that he'll talk to me or that he won't.” That was all I got from him, but it was enough for my heart to break just a bit. My mom was gone forever, but if she was here, there'd be no question that she wanted me - that she loved me. My dad was another story. Had he walked away? Jamie wanted the same thing I'd always dreamed of from my own father. To know he loved him.

We parked and got out of the car. Mr. Chase met us outside the building in sport coat and slacks. He bent to give Kat a kiss then turned to us. “If it isn't some of my most promising writers.” He looked between me and Jamie as if he meant both of us. I hadn't gotten to read Jamie's story, but suddenly couldn't wait. “Hi Mr. Chase,” I said. When he gave me a stern look, I amended that. “Sorry … Noah.” Wow, that felt weird. Aunt Kat and Mr. Chase … er … Noah walked in first, followed by the three of us. The service was nothing out of the ordinary, spotlighting a sermon of doing good works with simple acts of kindness. I felt Jamie tense up beside me towards the end when his father stepped up to the lectern to say the prayer. I reached down between us, twining my fingers with his. He didn't respond at first, then I felt the pressure as he squeezed my hand as if it could hold him together. We bowed our heads in prayer, Mr. Daniels' voice echoing through the room. Jamie didn't relax until the service ended. Our hands were still clasped together when Colby glanced towards us. His brow scrunched and I dropped Jamie's hand quickly. “Anybody seeing the news?” Someone ran through the crowd that was exiting the building. He waved his phone towards the pastor. Noah took out his phone and started typing. “Shit.” As soon as he said it, he looked to us apologetically - ever the teacher. “What's up?” Kat asked. “Storm is turning. Looks like a forty percent chance it could be a direct hit.” “When?” Jamie asked. I knew what the excitement in his voice meant. “They're saying tomorrow.” His grin widened, fading only when a voice spoke behind us. “Son.” Mr. Daniels voice held an authority that left little room to question it. Maybe that was why he was rising politically. Jamie turned on his heel and marched away. I went after him, but I wasn't the only one. “James Daniels.” His father's tone stopped him in his tracks. “I think it's about time you quit this charade and come home.” I watched Jamie as his jaw clenched. He cracked his knuckles down by his sides, trying not to explode. “Speak,” his father commanded. “I have nothing to say,” Jamie answered. When Mr. Daniels' hard eyes turned on me, I fought the urge to shrink back. “Young lady, I'd like to speak to my son. Alone.” “She stays.” Jamie grabbed my arm to make sure I didn't leave him. “Son.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stop calling me that.” Jamie's grip on my arm tightened. Yep, there'd be a bruise there later. I shifted to try to get him to release his grasp, but he wasn't focused on me. “We're heading into an election year. I can't have my son living with someone else.” “Afraid it will affect your family man image the republicans love so much?” A snarl entered Jamie's voice. He wanted a fight. His father didn't bite. “Frankly, yes. Don't forget, James, you still drive a car that I pay for. You wear clothes that I've bought. If you manage to convince a college to take you, you will need me to pay for it. So, make no mistake, you will cooperate with this election. I expect you home by the end of the week.” He turned and walked away without another word. Jamie suddenly released my arm. “Sorry.” I rubbed the spot where his fingers had been, not knowing what to say.

I wanted to hug him, give him whatever comfort I had, but there were eyes on us so there was nothing I could do as his shoulders slumped and he walked towards the car where Kat and Colby were waiting. As we sat in the backseat, I gave Jamie the only thing I could. I didn't look at him as I said, “Storm's coming.” * * * Let me ask you a question. When something terrible happens, do you hide or do you run into the fire ready to fight? It was a favorite question of my mom's, one of her parting pieces of wisdom. She never wanted us to be runners, only fighters. That's why I was there. Telling myself that didn't make it any easier. It didn't slow my rapidly beating heart. It didn't make the collar of my wet-suit feel any less suffocating. I tugged at it with one hand while the other ran over the smooth surface of the board that was stuck in the sand beside me. It wasn't my board. Mine was still in pieces beneath my bed. No, this was a spare one we had in the garage. My mom had never used it as she had the other and it no longer felt like she was out here with me. It no longer felt like I was safe. Jamie grinned at me for the first time since his conversation with his father, reminding me why I even bothered. The waves crashed and rolled, waiting for us to take the plunge. I ripped my board from the sand and tucked it under my arm, taking tentative steps until I was ankle deep in water, the foam swirling around my calves. Jamie was just ahead of me. “It's perfect out here today,” he yelled back towards me. I didn't respond. I couldn't. A lump formed in my throat, cutting off all words, making it hard to breath. I dropped my board, but it didn't go far tethered to my ankle as it was. Air. God, I needed air. A sharp pain stabbed through my chest. When I closed my eyes to block out the waves, I was assaulted with images. Being pulled under. Gasping for breath. Darkness. So much darkness. Pain in my leg. I couldn't take it anymore. I picked up my board and ran from the water. Dropping it on the sand, I ripped the board leash from my ankle and fell to my knees, trying to breathe. One hand on my chest and the other in the sand to keep from falling over, I sucked in air. The images sank back into the ocean and the panic loosened its hold on my heart. Jamie ran up the beach towards me, dropping at my side. “Cal.” At the sound of my name, I lost it, burying my face against him as large tears rolled down my cheeks. His arms came around me, calming me down. “Come on,” he said, pulling me up. “We don't need to do this today.” “No.” I wiped my face. “We came here to help you work out your frustration. I can watch. You should get out there.” “I can think of better ways to work out frustrations.” He tilted my face up to kiss him. “Mmmm,” I whispered, my trauma forgotten when he was that close. “That is something I think I can help you with.”

Chapter Twenty-Two Callie: “Car is gassed up,” Aunt Kat said, running through her check list. “Water. Food. Batteries. Candles. Flashlights.” “I'll get the hurricane shutters put up,” Noah said. “Though I doubt we'll need them.” “Thanks sweetie.” Kat leaned in for a kiss before he went out. I regarded her for a moment. “I'm glad you're happy Aunt Kat.” She looked at me, surprise shining in her eyes. “What's going on with you, Callie?” she laughed. “You've been way too chipper lately.” I shrugged. “If I didn't know better, I'd say there was a guy involved. You were always nicer when you were with Jay.” I grabbed a towel off the counter and snapped her with it. “Are you and Jay back together?” “Did I hear my name?” Jay walked in, flashing us a grin. I threw the towel down and went to him, very aware of Kat's eyes on us. “What are you doing here?” He leaned in to whisper. “Why is she looking at us like that?” “She thinks we're back together.” He threw his head back with a laugh. “Then this is going to be a surprise.” As soon as he said it, a tall girl with long honey brown hair and a flawless complexion walked in. “This is Brandy,” he said. She walked over, suddenly making me feel small. “Kat,” Jay raised his voice. “This is my girlfriend.” Kat shook her head with a laugh and went to help Noah. “I've heard a lot about you, Callie,” Brandy said. Her voice didn't match her appearance. It was sweet. “What are you guys doing here?” I asked him for the second time. “Heard you had a hurricane day from school.” He shrugged. “Our Monday classes were canceled so we decided to come hang.” Commotion came from the door. Jamie and Colby were arguing about something. By the time they got inside, Colby had his arm swung over Jamie's shoulders in a headlock. Morgan followed behind them helplessly. “What's going on?” I asked. Morgan shrugged. At the sound of my voice, Jamie stopped and looked up grinning. Then he saw who was next to me and the grin faded. “Hey, brother,” Jay said. “Jay,” Jamie nodded. Introductions were made all around with Brandy and we all settled into the living room. I was sandwiched between Colby and Jamie on the couch. The movie we put on couldn't hold my interest and I found myself hyper-aware of the boy next to me. Jamie put his hand on my knee and I swatted it away with a stern look, secretly wishing he could do it

again. “Stop fidgeting,” Colby said. On the other side of him, Morgan gave me a knowing look. Jay was watching us, curiosity alight in his eyes. “Dammit,” I burst out, my face heating up. Everyone stared at me like I was losing my mind. The rain pounded against the roof as Noah and Kat walked into the living room with trays of food. “Hurricane snacks.” Noah offered his platter to Jay. With the shutters up, the house had darkened considerably, the air growing stale. I jumped up to turn on the overhead fan, needing something to do, then mumbled a few words and took off towards my room. I couldn't take it anymore. The lying. The sneaking around. Nothing I felt was worth that. I wasn't made for subterfuge. My whole life, I'd been known for being blunt and too honest. The door opened and Jamie slipped in behind me. Before I could protest, he pulled me to him for a scorching kiss. “Jamie,” I broke away. “They're all right out there.” “I don't care.” I put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Yes, you do. That's the problem.” With a growl, he stepped back from me. “I need to tell you something.” I ran a hand over my braid, tucking in a few stray hairs, stalling. “I kind of told Jay about us.” “You've got to be kidding me.” He sighed. “I shouldn't be surprised. Your precious Jay.” “What's that supposed to mean?” “Nothing. I … nothing.” “No, you don't get to do that. Tell me.” “No one is ever going to live up to him in your mind.” “You have no idea what you're talking about,” I spat. “Jay is my friend. My best friend. But you're … you know what, never mind.” His face softened, heat returning to his eyes. “I'm what, Cal?” he said. “I feel -” Before I could spill my guts, Colby knocked and pushed open the door, scowling when he saw the two of us together. He tried to hide it. “What are you two doing?” he asked. The lights flickered, but remained on. “Nothing,” I said, brushing by him. “Absolutely nothing.” * * * “So, they canceled school again for tomorrow,” Morgan said when I threw myself down onto the couch beside her. “Seriously?” I pulled out my phone to check out the radar. “Now it doesn't even look like we'll get a direct hit. The eye is way out in the gulf.” “Which is why it's totally OK to go out tonight, right?” She winked conspiratorially. “Probably not.” I glanced back towards Jamie and Colby. “But why should that stop us?” “Oooo, your corruption is complete.” She laughed, throwing her arms around me. “There's a hurricane party. I doubt Colby would go since there's no way Kat would say yes. We could invite Jamie though.” “No,” I said quickly. When she eyed me curiously, I amended that. “Let's do a girl's night.” “Perfect. We'll just tell Kat you're staying at my house. The party started earlier since it's kinda an

all-day thing so we can say we're heading out when the rain lets up. Amelia's parents are out of town and her house is the perfect place for a party.” I swallowed hard. We were going to Amelia's party. If I had known that, I may not have agreed so quickly. Reminding myself that she didn't know about me and Jamie, I tried to push the nerves away. High school parties were foreign to me. Before this year, I was never the kind of person who was invited. Colby always was, but rarely went. He was too focused on school and soccer, something that only made him more popular. He was mysterious. People didn't know me either and they thought I was just weird. Not this year. This year I was one of them. Jay and his girlfriend left as soon as there was a break in the rain, saying they had to meet up with his father. Jamie didn't react. Not until Morgan and I announced we were leaving. He started to protest, but I gave him a sharp look. The truth was, I needed a break. A break from secrets and all these little arguments we seemed to keep having. A break from not feeling good enough. Wearing an outfit Morgan picked for me - skinny jeans with a loose black shirt and long silver necklace - and my hair swept off my neck in a high pony-tail, I followed her out to her car. Nothing looked out of place outside, only wet. So much for the hurricane. Amelia's house was tucked away in a gated community on the other side of Gulf city. Morgan had the gate code so we got through easily and parked on the street amongst the other cars. It looked like everyone from school was here. Trudging up her long driveway, I was glad I'd insisted on boots when Morgan tried to force me into heels. The house before us had a blue concrete face and intricately carved pillars. It looked like a typical Florida house on steroids. Music poured from the front door that stood wide open. We stepped inside the large entryway. A crowd was spilling out of the living room down the hall and before we knew it, we were being swept into the room. People were calling Morgan's name and I tried not to lose her. I recognized most of the faces, but didn't actually know many of them. When I turned around for a split second, I was separated from my only life-line. Needing to breath, I pushed myself back into the hall where I ran into a tall, skinny kid. “Sorry,” he said quickly, reaching out to steady me. “Totally my fault.” I looked up at him. There was something about him that seemed familiar. “Well, a pretty girl like you can run into me any time you'd like.” He grinned boyishly. My cheeks heated up, but a laugh broke free. “Troy,” Morgan yelled, sidling up to me. “Stop hitting on my friends.” “Hey Morg.” He swayed slightly and for the first time I realized he was drunk. “Hi, little brother.” She laughed. “You okay?” “Never better.” “Uh huh. Well, Callie and I are going to get a drink.” She dragged me away, whispering in my ear. “Shots?” I didn't want to tell her I'd never had a shot in my life, so I nodded. First time for everything, right? In the kitchen, Amelia was lining up shot glasses on the counter while a few of her friends milled around nearby. “Morgan, perfect!” She glanced up, stopping what she was doing. Her eyes were glazed as if she'd been at this all day. She probably had. “Oh.” She stumbled against the counter before righting herself. “You brought Callie.” “That a problem?” Morgan challenged. “No.” A grin spread across her face quickly, but it was worse than fake. “Even if she was sleeping

with Jamie while I was dating him.” Now it was my turn to stumble. “I… I wasn't …” People stared from me to Amelia and back again in shock. “I know you're sleeping together,” she said. “I saw you kissing at school.” Morgan stepped forward. “Even if they are now, which I am totally not confirming, it didn't start until you broke up.” “Well, if it wasn't you.” Amelia pointed at me. “It was someone. I know for a fact that he slept with someone the night before we broke up.” I didn't have anything to say to that. A part of me hurt hearing it. That would have been soon after we went skydiving together. When I thought … well, it didn't matter what I thought. I looked from Morgan's concerned face to Amelia's smug one, then down at the shot of tequila that was within arm's reach. Making a quick decision, I snatched it and threw it back. It burned, causing me to sputter and cough before settling its warmth in my belly. “I want another.” I slammed the shot glass back on the table. A hint of acceptance had replaced the smugness in Amelia's expression as she nodded and poured me another along with one for herself. We downed them together in solidarity. I did two more before stumbling out of the kitchen. Shots? Check. Another thing on my invincible checklist for this year. Only, that was something I was supposed to be doing with Jamie. Screw Jamie. Why did it hurt that he'd been with someone else so soon before me? Was it that he cheated on Amelia? I'd always believed that you could never trust a cheater. But we weren't even together. Not really. If we were, we wouldn't hide like we were ashamed. The rain had started again, its rhythm soothing to my spinning head. I lost Morgan, but it didn't bother me as much anymore. I walked through the party, for once not caring what these people thought of me. It was freeing. Morgan's brother Troy was dancing by himself when I found him. He grinned at me. His was one of those faces you couldn't help but like. Not hot exactly - he was two years younger, so gross - but open and friendly. I took his offered hand and started moving as if I actually knew what I was doing. It was fun and silly. Amelia even joined us, made nicer by the copious amounts of alcohol she'd consumed. For the first time, I felt like I fit in that world. After a while, I fumbled my way through the house in search of the restroom. Troy followed close behind, talking my ear off about anything and everything. He was funny and I found myself wanting us to be friends. Upstairs, we started opening doors in our search. The second one we opened was one I wish had stayed shut forever. Morgan sat on a bed, her shirt partially off, a boy who was not my brother glued to her lips. “Morgan, gross,” Troy shouted. Her eyes snapped in our direction and I took off, my need for the restroom momentarily forgotten. Troy and Morgan's footsteps thundered down the stairs after me, but I bolted from the house and down the street into the light rain. I didn't stop until I was sure they weren't following. Pulling out my phone, I saw the time. It was late and I just wanted to go home. There was no way I was calling Colby after what I just saw and Kat would ground me forever. Jamie was still on my shit list. I dialed the only person I could, hoping he was still in town. “Hola,” Jay answered. “Hey.” My voice was slightly slurred. “I need a ride.” “Shit, Cal. You drunk?” He laughed.

“I'll text you the address.” I hung up and shot him off a text. He arrived about twenty minutes later. “Where's the girlfriend?” I asked, dropping into the passenger seat. “Asleep.” He shook his head. “Do you know how late it is?” “Thanks for coming.” “Anything for you. I just don't expect you to hang out with people like this. Amelia, really?” “You know her?” “Her brother was in my year.” “I know I don't fit.” I sunk back into the chair. “No.” He reached out and squeezed my arm. “It's them that don't fit you.”

Chapter Twenty-Three Jamie: “Dude, what the hell?” Colby yelled. “We're on the same team. Stop trying to shoot me.” I growled in frustration. “Then get out of my way.” “What is wrong with you?” He put his controller on the coffee table and took a sip of water. “Are you quitting?” “You're being an ass, so yeah.” I heard his sister in those words and sighed. Neither of them realized how similar they really were. That thought creeped me out a bit since I couldn't seem to get her out of my mind. “You think the girls went to Amelia's party?” I asked for the tenth time that night. Colby barked out a laugh. “The one place you wouldn't be welcome.” “Can you picture Callie there?” I tried to laugh with him. Colby succeeded where I failed, holding his stomach as he did. “God no. She's probably hating every second of it. I'm kind of surprised she isn't back.” “Me too.” Colby eyed me suspiciously and I let it drop. Callie and I weren't dating. We were only having a little fun and I knew it'd have to stop soon, before anyone found out. Colby was the closest thing I had to family. He'd been there through everything growing up. He was the only person besides Jay and his mom who knew what my dad could be like. This house was a haven, always had been, and I hoped it always would be. Jamie Daniels didn't get feelings and I wasn't going to start now, not with so much on the line. Because Colby was right, I'd only mess it up. That's what screw ups did and my best friend had the same opinion of me that my father did, a fact I hadn't known until he thought he was protecting his sister. It hurt, but I was used to what people thought of me by now. The front door rattled as someone tried and failed to unlock it. There was the crash of keys on the ground and then it rattled again before it opened. Callie stumbled in, waving at someone behind her. “Bye,” she yelled, unable to control the volume of her voice while obviously trying not to be heard. “It's okay, Cal,” Colby said, causing her to jump and slam her back against the wall. “Kat isn't here. She's at Noah's.” I almost laughed at the look on her face when her eyes swung from Colby to me and back again. She opened her mouth to say something, then snapped it shut and shook her head. Keeping one hand on the wall for balance as she kicked off her boots, she stumbled again before righting herself and walking purposefully past us into the kitchen. Colby glanced at me and we both followed her. “What are you doing back?” Colby asked. “And drunk,” I laughed. “I'm not drunk.” I had to give her credit, she enunciated each word so they didn't sound slurred. “Oh, I beg to differ.” I leaned against the door-frame, folding my arms across my chest. The look she gave me started out defiant, but turned heated as she scanned me from head to toe, taking in my cotton pajama pants and white shirt that had always been a little too tight.

Colby shifted uncomfortably and I moved across the room to pull out a glass. Filling it at the tap, I handed it to Callie. “Drink.” She obeyed, keeping her eyes trained on me as if she refused to look at her brother. “How was the party?” Colby asked. “I didn't go to a party.” Her voice rose an octave. “I was just at Morgan's like I said I would be.” “Then why'd you come home? And drunk?” She looked around nervously. “Don't ask me what happened, okay? Because I've had an awful lot of Tequila and I'll tell you. Trust me, you don't want to know.” There was a battle going on in her mind, I could tell. “Did you kiss someone at the party?” As he said it, I watched her face. A guilty look sprang into place that cut me deep. That wasn't supposed to hurt so much. It was proof that things had gone too far with us. “It wasn't …” Colby cut her off and I could've punched him. “Why'd you even go?” She stomped her foot and turned on him angrily. “Maybe because I was invited.” A queasy grimace passed over her face and she sat down. “Contrary to what some people think, I'm not a social pariah.” “That's not …” He ran a hand through his hair. “You know that's not what I think.” “Do I?” “Cal,” I stopped them both. “Just tell us what happened.” “Fine.” She fixed her brother with a stare, still angry at him. “I found Morgan in a room with some guy,” she finally said. “They were going at it pretty heavily.” “Shit,” I whispered. Colby didn't respond. His expression hardened. I knew my friend. Impulsive. Unforgiving. That look meant he'd made an instant choice and he didn't like it. Without another word, he turned around and went back into the living room. Callie and I stared at each other wordlessly for another moment before she pushed herself up. “You guys made me tell.” She sighed as she walked to her room and shut the door.

Chapter Twenty-Four Callie: The hurricane never hit us, the worst of it staying far enough out in the Gulf. I spent Monday in bed with a hangover, thankful Kat kept the diner closed. Jamie returned home to his father's house in an effort to keep his car, nothing truly resolved between us. After helping Kat open the diner bright and early Tuesday morning, I caught a ride to school with Colby. He didn't tell me what happened with Morgan, but it wasn't hard to guess. I spent my free first period in the library catching glares from Amelia across the room. I guessed our camaraderie from her party was over. Her eyes narrowed every time they connected with mine. Creative writing was worse. When I got there, Morgan's friend Hannah had her butt firmly planted in my seat. Morgan's friends were closing in around her and squeezing me out. Stupid girl tears built up in the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away. I'd never cried over a friend before, let alone someone I probably never should have been friends with in the first place. I let myself believe I was accepted, believe I was in. Slumping into an empty seat on the other side of the room, I felt myself being torn back to reality, or at least the reality that existed before this year. Callie McCoy was meant to be the girl sitting alone. All because I chose my brother. The look on Morgan's face told me I did the right thing. She was never truly my friend at all. Mr. Chase began class by reading a couple more of our fiction stories from earlier in the semester. I barely heard a word he said and when the bell rang, I bolted from the class. Halfway to the front door of the school, I stopped. There were so many places I'd rather be than under the piercing glare of my exfriend, but I wasn't in the wrong. Turning on my heel, I lifted my chin to hold my head high and ran down the hall towards my next class. * * * The buzz at school was the upcoming winter dance. It was always popular. I'd never been and that didn't seem likely to change. Surprise surprise, I hadn't been asked. Morgan and I had talked about getting ready together and then going as a group, but that didn't seem likely to happen anymore. Not that I cared. I didn't, I swear. It's not like Jamie and I could go together, especially since I'd now reverted back to my old status. We'd only seen each other at school over the past week. He'd give me a nod and a heart-stopping smile, but then move on. Last weekend was soccer championships, taking up every second of his time. I'd had to cover Colby's shifts at the diner - not that I minded. It gave me something to keep my mind occupied. We were getting busier with the return of snowbirds. Maybe that's what I'd do this weekend. Work. Who needs school dances anyway? Bad music. Spiked punch. Sitting around waiting to be asked to dance. Let's face it, I was one of those girls. Friday came. The day of the dance. Morgan hadn't spoken to me since the party the week before so I wasn't surprised to find my usual seat occupied. Mr. Chase walked in jovially, dropping a pile of papers onto his desk with a thud. His accent

reverberated around the room. “Good morning ladies and gents.” He grinned. “Winter break is almost upon us. You only have one week left of my class before exams unless you've decided to take creative writing two, which I hope you have. We will be delving into nonfiction and how to add your own style to it. But today, we have lots of work to do. Our prompt is going to take most of class, so we only have time to read excerpts from two of our fiction stories. Callie, you and Jamie are up. I've chosen the action sequences to read so we can see your differences.” He pulled our stories off the top of the stack and flipped the page, choosing mine first. I buried my face in my hands, not wanting anyone to see my reddening cheeks as the blood pulsed in my ears. He started reading and it was a while before I could bring myself to listen. “… Cara decided it was now or never. The moment of truth. She sucked in a breath, blowing it out as she stepped out over blue skies. Arching her back upwards towards the clouds, she felt the world holding her up at the same time it was trying to drag her down…” He read a few more paragraphs before placing the pages on the desk and looking to Jamie's. I sat forward in my chair, anxious and curious. “This wasn't his idea and Jim wasn't so sure about it anymore. He was afraid. Her brown hair disappeared out the door and his gut clenched. There was no turning back. She went through with it so now he had no choice.” I chuckled as Mr. Chase read. Of course that'd be Jamie's reasoning. I thought back on that day that seemed like a lifetime ago. It was not long before he supposedly cheated on Amelia. Did I have a right to care about that? I got home from school to find Colby sitting on my bed, flipping through my photo albums. He'd been down all week, even after scoring two goals in the finals. The team had lost, but his future college had been impressed. “Hey brother.” I sat next to him, looking over his shoulder at the image of Mom. “I haven't looked at these in years.” I didn't know what to say to that. “Think she'd be proud of us?” he asked, closing the album and turning to me. “Of you?” I snorted. “Duh.” He smiled at that, bumping his shoulder into mine. “Yeah, but I'm not fearless like you.” I couldn't help it. I snorted again. “Really. You are. At least this year. You've changed, sis. I don't think anything could break you.” Shows what he knows. I shrugged. “You just aren't used to being the one who is hurt.” “Is this what I do to people?” he asked earnestly. “Worse because us girls take things harder and you don't exactly have the best track record.” “I like that you're mean.” He grinned suddenly. “I like that you're a doofus.” He stood and brought me with him. “Come on. Kat's probably waiting for us at the diner.” She wasn't, in fact, waiting for us. We were on the schedule, but the place was slow since the dinner rush hadn't hit yet. Kat was leaning up against the counter, talking closely with Mr. Chase. They both straightened up when they saw us. “Hey kids,” Kat said. “Uh, hi.” Colby gave them a look that made me giggle. Seth Franklin walked in behind us, lumbering towards his usual seat. “Callie,” he boomed. “Colby. Don't you two have a dance to go to tonight? What are you doing here?” I shrugged and Colby answered for the both of us. “Gotta have a date.”

“That's bologna. I keep trying to convince Matthew to go and he says the same thing. In my day, you went with your friends.” “Gotta have friends,” I mumbled with a short laugh. “Now you really sound like my grandson.” I went to fill up a coffee pitcher and Colby followed me. “Jamie is going.” “What?” Acting like I didn't care was hard, so I kept my back to him. “With who?” “No one.” He said that pointedly as if it should mean something. “He's just meeting up with some of the guys from the soccer team.” Mr. Chase saved me from my brother's prying eye by waving me over. He smiled at me as I refilled his coffee. “Callie, what I'm about to do is probably unethical, but you would've read it in class if we'd had time today. Plus, I know something is going on with you and I love your aunt and care about you.” “I hope that isn't the first time you've said you love her,” I laughed at his rambling. “Because saying it to me first is soooo not cool.” “That's not the point.” “Then what is, because you kinda aren't making sense.” He chuckled, reaching into his briefcase. “The rest of the story.” I leaned in, whispering, “I know how it ends, I was there.” His smile widened. “Not yours. Jamie's.” “Oh.” I gripped the counter. “Yes. Oh.” He slid the papers across to me. I couldn't tell you why a bout of nerves struck me as I picked them up. Mr. Chase nodded towards the back room and I took the hint, disappearing from curious eyes. The beginning of the story was an accurate account of our arrival and training. He'd named me Lia. “Get it on,” someone said over the loudspeaker, telling us to head to the loading zone. Jim followed Lia outside, almost running into her when she stopped suddenly, her shoulders shaking. Without over-thinking it, he slid his hand into hers. “You can do this,” he whispered, feeling her closeness. “I'll do it Jim,” she said. “But I need you there with me. One-hundred percent. When we step into that plane, all of our issues stay here.” She paused. “You leave your shit here and so will I. We do this together. We forget.” He dropped her hand as her eyes pierced into his very soul. She knew every part of him, of that he was suddenly sure. The girl who was off-limits. The one who was so completely different than him, but the same. Emotions he'd thought long buried rose up. Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, he suddenly realized he'd do anything she asked. The rest of the story was a chronological account, almost as if he'd accidentally let this emotional sliver in, not knowing it'd be read by anyone. I put a hand on the wall to steady myself. What did he mean by buried emotions? What did he mean by any of it? I needed to know. I had to go to that dance. Pushing through the swinging door, I almost ran right into Colby, but I didn't stop. “You're coming with me.” “Huh?” he asked. I ignored him. “Aunt Kat?” She popped out from the kitchen. “Yeah?” “Can you deal without us tonight?” “What's up?” she asked. “I need to go to the dance.” A smile spread across her face. “I'm so glad you're going. Of course I'll be fine. You guys weren't

even supposed to be on the schedule. Noah can help until he has to go chaperone the dance.” She winked at him. “I'm not going to the dance.” Colby put his hands up protectively. “Brother,” I looked him in the eye. “Please. I need you to go with me.” He sighed. Last year we wouldn't have been caught dead going together. Things had changed. “Fine.” I grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the diner and into his car. When we got home, I realized I had absolutely nothing to wear to a dance so I turned to Kat's closet instead. Her dresses would be tighter and shorter than I'd like, but desperate times… When all was said and done, I stood in the living room wearing an icy blue dress that stopped midthigh. It was a winter dance, but winters in Florida were quite different. My hair hung in waves over one shoulder. All in all, I thought I looked pretty good. By the time Colby and I walked out the door, the dance had already begun and I started to forget why I was going in the first place. What did I even say? I creeped on your paper and think you're in love with me? “Tell me something.” Colby turned off the car as soon as we parked. “Are we here so you can find Jamie?” “No?” “I'm not an idiot, Cal. Give me some credit.” “Ok.” I sighed. “But I don't want you to hate him.” “Sis, Jamie's my best friend. I'm not going to hate him. I can't say that I like it. I still think it'll end badly, but I won't stop you. Plus, Jamie hasn't been with anyone besides I'm assuming you since Amelia. That's a big deal for him.” “Didn't he cheat on her?” “Jamie doesn't cheat. Ever. He may not be the most reliable guy, but he'd never do that. If he wants to be with someone else, he dumps whoever he's with.” “I just have this really bad feeling,” I admitted. “I don't know if it has to do with him. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.” “Too late. Let's go.” He got out and I had no choice but to follow. We passed Matthew sitting in his car nearby. Guess he changed his mind, like us. His presence didn't register as odd so we kept going, the awful feeling I'd had only growing stronger. The school loomed in front of us, a brick shadow in the darkness. In contrast, the inside of the school was roaring with life. Music blared from the gym as students hung out, danced, and laughed like tonight was special and they didn't have a care in the world. On this night, we were just teenagers having a good time before the real world crept in. We paid for our entry and signed in before moving into the gym. I scanned the room seeing groups of kids sitting with their own, not interacting with those they didn't know. Morgan stood off to the side, arguing with her younger brother Troy. Troy caught my eye and waved. Morgan slapped his hand down. And then there was another brother and sister, standing in the doorway, both feeling on the outside. Looking towards Colby, he nodded at someone on the other side of the room. “I'm going to find some of the guys,” he said. I turned towards where he'd been looking to find Jamie's eyes scanning me from head to toe from where he stood by the opposite door. A small, unsure smile appeared on his face. It didn't belong there in place of his usual confidence. I ran my hands down my stomach nervously, straightening the fabric that now felt too tight. Jamie's words entered my mind. He suddenly realized he'd do anything she asked. My feet carried me in his direction, stopping a few feet away. “I want you to kiss me,” I blurted before I could stop myself.

His smiled dropped. “Demanding, aren't we?” “I thought you'd do anything I asked.” Confusion rose in his eyes for a moment before understanding dawned. “I'm asking you to kiss me, Jamie,” I said with a confidence I didn't feel. “Right here. I don't care what anyone says anymore.” “I thought you liked the excitement of sneaking around?” “It's not exciting anymore,” I admitted. “It's painful.” His face was serious and for a moment, I was scared he was going to walk away. Then, before I had time to process, he closed the gap between us and kissed me harder than he ever had before. His arm came around me to pull me in closer. I worked my hands up around his neck, holding his head in place. It felt different than before. This time we weren't trying to hide. The adrenaline was replaced with peace; my escape replaced with home. I don't know how long we stood in the crowded gym, kissing as if our lives depended on it. There were sure to be stares and whispers, but I didn't care. I smiled against his lips, finally pausing to catch my breath as a scream pierced the air around us. “Gun!”

Part Two

Chapter Twenty-Five Callie: We thought we were invincible. Impenetrable. Separated from all the evil in the world, high school our protector. In an instant, the glass surrounding our lives was shattered. Chaos took no time at all to develop. It just happened. We didn't get a warning. Cries rose up from the mayhem. No one knew what was going on. I couldn't think. Couldn't move. My muscles were heavy with disbelief. People ran to hide under tables, behind the stage, anywhere they could get away from the unknown assailant. Someone gripped my arm, jerking it back and pulling me from my state of immobility. “Callie,” Jamie was yelling above the noise. “California.” I looked into his wide eyes as he forcefully pushed me through the door. He followed close behind, running towards the nearest door as soon as we were in the hall. “Locked. Dammit.” “They lock the classrooms during dances,” I said, just needing to say something. Jamie pushed his hair back out of his face and looked around frantically. A couple other students had the same idea as us, getting out of the gym. No one knew where the gun was or even if there was one. But the terror was real. It was here. A boy ran past us down the hall, but he wouldn't get out of the school without going to the other side of the gym. We were in the hall that led to the locker rooms. As soon as I had the thought, it was like Jamie read my mind. We ran down the hall and around the corner. “Oh thank God,” Jamie said when the knob turned and the door swung open. We weren't the first ones in there. Two freshman girls I recognized were huddled together near a junior boy. Three senior boys followed us in and shut the door. “Turn off the lights,” I said, remembering our lock down drills. They obeyed. I expected to feel calmer out of the gym, but with nothing left to do, that one word rang in my head. “Gun!” I ducked quickly past the rows of lockers, feeling my way in the dark, until I was alone and let out a sob. Jamie came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, squeezing hard. He buried his face in my back. “Are you okay?” he asked, voice trembling. Before I could answer, two bangs pierced the well cultivated safety of our lives. I jumped in Jamie's arms before my legs gave out and I slid to the ground, my knees banging into the concrete. Cries came from the other end of the locker-room, but they barely registered. I choked out a sob as Jamie sat in front of me, pulling me into his lap. A tear dripped onto my cheek and when I looked up, he too was crying. “Shhhh,” he soothed, his voice thick. “It's going to be okay.”

His words were empty. We both knew it. But they were the type of words that had to be said. A few more moments passed and when the third shot sounded, I didn't even jump. I curled tighter against Jamie. He kissed my head, my cheek, the corner of my mouth. I couldn't tell you how long we sat there in the dark, waiting for more gunfire, listening only to the quiet sobs of the locker-room's other inhabitants. “What do you think is happening?” I whispered. “I wish I hadn't left my phone on the table out there.” He chuckled slightly, a foreign sound at a time like this. “This damn dress had nowhere to put mine.” “Did I tell you how hot you look in it?” he asked, running a hand down my bare leg. “Jamie,” I warned. “Why couldn't you have just stayed home tonight?” he sighed. “You and Colby both.” “Oh God, Colby. Did you see him before we got out?” “No.” He blew out a heavy breath. “I wish you were safe.” “How could I stay home after that story you wrote about us? I think you actually like me.” “Oh, Callie girl, I think I actually love you.” I didn't get a chance to process his words because there were loud footsteps in the hall outside the locker-room. We all held our collective breaths, not releasing them until the sound was gone. I shook in Jamie's arms and he hugged me so hard I almost couldn't breathe. “It's going to be okay,” he whispered again. I didn't know if he was telling me or himself. Colby was out there. I didn't know where. I'd dragged him here, putting him in danger. Had I really only been worried about him finding out about me and Jamie hours ago? Why did that even matter? Minutes or hours or, hell, days passed in that room before we heard footsteps again. They stopped outside the room. Time stood still. The door opened, spilling light in from the hall. The overhead light was flipped on, revealing two people with SWAT printed across their chests. The man yelled behind him, “We have some in here.” The woman walked further into the room. “It's okay,” she said, scanning us. “It's all over now.” I scrambled to my feet, moving out from behind the far lockers. “We have to take them out through the gym,” the man said. She gave a sad nod of her head, knowing that was the only exit from this part of the school. I looked around at the others in the room. I wasn't likely to ever forget their faces or the sound of their cries. We were together when our worlds came tumbling down. A part of the gym was sectioned off with bright yellow tape. It was hard to miss. My eyes caught two things on the ground shrouded in white sheets. “You don't want to see that,” the SWAT woman said, putting herself between me and the sight of what happened there. Leaving the gym behind felt like breathing fresh air for the first time in my life. I looked back over my shoulder as Jamie took my hand. We were the last to leave the building, but we were far from the only ones there. Cameras flashed as soon as we stepped outside. The missing nine as they'd come to call us. They'd gotten a count over an hour ago, and couldn't account for us. You never think it's going to happen to you. The terror. The helplessness. It's on the news; in TV shows. Not in your own small town. You're safe. We thought we could fly high, enjoying our last year of high school before starting on the next adventure. We were no longer safe. That'd been torn away with the speed of a bullet.

I looked through the crowd that had gathered outside the school. Students greeted their families with tears. Police officers talked to the media. An ambulance stood by. It was a different kind of chaos than what we'd experienced in that school, but chaos all the same. The flashing lights made me jump. The crowd made it hard to breath. And then it all disappeared because standing there searching frantically was my brother, my twin. I let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry. “Colby.” He turned, his face transforming from panic to relief as he sprinted towards me. Jamie released me so I could throw my arms around my brother. He lifted me off my feet and we cried together. “Come on,” he said, putting me down. “Aunt Kat is over here.” Kat was sitting next to Noah who was having his face tended to. “Noah,” I gasped. “What happened?” Kat turned at the sound of my voice, staring at me as if I'd disappear in a moment. She pulled me into a hug that was equally as bruising as Colby's, then did the same to Jamie. “You two had us scared.” “What happened to Noah?” I asked again. “He tackled Matthew Franklin.” “Wait,” I said. “What?” “Cal,” Colby put his arm around me. “He was the shooter.” I looked up into his face, for the first time noticing the redness around his eyes. Those weren't tears of relief at seeing me. “What aren't you telling me?” No one answered for a long moment. Noah finally cleared his throat. “Matthew took his own life, but not before he shot Morgan Cook.” “Morgan's dead?” I choked, collapsing into Jamie's chest. “No.” I jerked my head up. Noah continued. “She went to the hospital in an ambulance, but should live. Troy Cook, however, did not make it.” I staggered away from Jamie. He tried to reach for me again, but I put up a hand to stop him. Troy. The sweet boy I only recently met from the perfect family. This was going to tear them apart. I pictured his mom, with her eagerness to please. Parker with her openness and brashness. Hell, even Morgan. Nothing would ever be the same. Not in Gulf City. Not in any of our lives. “Jamie.” We all turned towards the man intruding on our moment, realizing it was Jamie's father and he was as entitled to his reunion as we were. To my surprise, Jamie went to him, hugging him in much the same way I'd hugged Kat. Mr. Daniels relaxed, even eventually hugging his son back. “Senator Daniels.” A reporter walked up, camera following closely behind. “Was your son in the building?” Mr. Daniels released Jamie, but kept a hand on his shoulder. “He was one of the missing nine.” Jamie tried to step away, but his father held him in place as he answered question after question. Our statements were taken, interview requests received and denied. The only thing left to do was try to make sense out of something so senseless. “Come on,” Kat said, once Noah was ready to go. “Let's go home.” The reporters moved on and Jamie's dad said something in his ear. Jamie walked over to me. “I have to go home with my dad.” I nodded, threading my arms around his back and tilting my head up, not wanting to let go. His kiss was soft, the reassuring touch I sorely needed. As we walked to the cars, Kat raised an eyebrow at me, but I just shook my head and got into

Colby's car. Tonight was not the night for those discussions.

Chapter Twenty-Six Jamie: Dad didn't have much to say to me once we got home. That was nothing new, but this time it seemed different. He seemed different. It was as if he'd actually been scared standing out there waiting to hear where I was. They'd all been scared, the reporters had told us. When they realized nine kids were still missing, they'd feared the worst, not knowing what state they'd find us in. I knew that by tomorrow my father would be planning how to use this for his political advantage, but tonight he was just a dad. We stood at the bottom of the tall staircase, looking anywhere but at each other. I shifted from foot to foot. He was still as a statue. “Son,” he finally said, taking a long pause. “I …” He scratched his chin in thought. “You should get some sleep.” Before I could respond, he reached out to grip my shoulder. I flinched slightly. Pretending he didn't notice, he gave me a few quick pats on the back and then walked into his study. My brain was still working on overload from the evening. I shook my head and trudged up the stairs. Alone in your room, it becomes more real. It happened. There's no escaping it. Nothing to hide behind. I turned over in the dark, unable to close my eyes without hearing the gunshots or footsteps pacing outside my door. Rubbing my fists against my eyes, I let out an exasperated groan. A door opened down the hall, making me jump. I couldn't do it, couldn't be there. With a sudden certainty, I knew the only thing I wanted to do was be with the two people I cared most about. The two people who'd gone through the same thing as me. Whatever happened with me and Callie, we'd always be connected now. I don't think I could ever look back on this day without remembering that the feel of her in my arms grounded me, kept me together. For that, I'd always be grateful. For that, some part of me would always love her. Because I knew now. I was in love with Callie McCoy. It should have scared me, but in light of everything else, it just didn't. Kicking off the covers, I got up and pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I was on auto-pilot as I got in my car and drove the short distance to the house that felt more like home than my own. The TV was on in the living room, its sounds drifted past the front door. Using the key I'd had since I was ten, I unlocked the door. Shutting it behind me, I walked in to find brother and sister, my best friend and my girlfriend, sitting side by side on the couch staring at me. Callie had the blanket pulled to her chin and a death grip on Colby's arm that she relaxed when her brain finally registered it was me and not some intruder. I saw in them the same fear that brought me here. “Couldn't sleep?” I asked them. Colby looked to his sister, an exhausted sigh escaping his lips. “I don't think I'll ever sleep again.” “Me either,” Callie agreed, scooting over and folding her legs beneath her. She held up an end of the blanket, inviting me to stay.

My shoulders sagged in relief as I sunk into the couch and instinctively wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Colby didn't say anything and it was then that I remembered he'd come with Callie to the dance so she could confront me. Our friendship was safe. He caught my eye and nodded solemnly. “It's good that you're here, man.” None of us said it, but the real reason we were there was because we couldn't bear to be alone. Colby flipped through channels, settling on an old John Wayne movie on TMC and the three of us sat together all night, knowing full well that although one night stole away our peace, it'd take a lot more to bring it back - if that was even possible.

Chapter Twenty-Seven Callie: Exams were postponed and school was closed early for the holidays. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a mistake. It gave all of us way too much time to think, way too much time on our own. I threw myself into working at the diner. The holidays increased business enough so there was always something for me to do. Those first days were the hardest. News crews hung around town. People made speeches. We were the talk of the nation. To them we were another school in a long line to use to advance political agendas. Should we have more guns? Less guns? I didn't care. Not at the time. All I wanted was to forget. To feel like life could be good again. Jamie's dad was everywhere. I swore, he only saw us as his way to Washington. He was using his son to get there. Every time he spoke, he insisted on having Jamie by his side, wanting to remind people that his son was there. The son he'd kept hidden before. Now he was the family man, only wanting to keep his boy safe. It made me want to vomit. Jay called. It took over an hour to convince him I was okay. What a lie. I threw another set of rolled silverware in the bin, glancing up at the clock. On a normal day, Seth would come lumbering in right about then, ready for his early dinner. He'd give me life tips, talking in a soft tone that was surprising coming out of such a large man. His stool was empty, only reminding us of what happened. Seth's grandson did that to us. I wrung a towel between my hands, crushing it and squeezing it. I hated Matthew. I couldn't help it. Maybe things could have been different if we'd helped him, but that didn't stop the heart-bruising anger at what he'd done to us. Tears welled up in my eyes for what must have been the millionth time in the days since that night. Turning away from Seth's place in our lives, I threw the towel on the counter and tore the apron off over my head. The chime on the door sounded and I looked up, hoping for news. Morgan was having her third, final, and most difficult surgery today. She'd pulled through the others, but a part of me didn't believe she'd make it. Colby walked towards me. It was brief, but I saw his eyes tick towards the empty stool as mine had. He gave me a weak smile. “Parker says we've still got a few hours 'til she's out.” His eyes held the same sadness that I was sure were mirrored in mine. Morgan had broken both our hearts, but neither of us could stop caring. We hadn't gone to the hospital. Colby said it was to give the family time, but I knew it was because neither of us could face them. “Your shift is over, right?” he asked. “Like an hour ago,” I admitted. “I was just -” “Trying to keep busy,” he finished for me. “Come on. Jamie's meeting us at the beach.” When we pulled into the parking lot, Jamie was leaning up against his car, one arm crossed over the other, hair blowing away from his face in the wind. He pushed himself away from his car to meet me at my door. I'd barely stepped out when he pulled me into his arms. My eyes darted towards my brother, but his focus was on the water so I relaxed into

Jamie. His lips grazed my ear. “I don't like being away from you,” he whispered. I looked up into his face. A few days ago, I couldn't imagine him ever saying things like that to me. He kept an arm around my waist as we clamored over the rocks onto the beach. The waves were kicking today, but their call in my life had been lost back with a broken board and shaken confidence. I was content to stay on dry land. We walked halfway down the beach before plopping down in the sand, watching the sea gulls fight over something a few yards away. We didn't have much to say to each other, the silence acting as a merciful cloak rather than a demanding burden. My mind was with Morgan. With Troy. Heck, even with Seth. The fading sun hung on the distant edge of the water, a golden beacon about to disappear into darkness, but not before silhouetting the final surfer who'd finally bid goodnight to the sea. He ran by us, heading up the beach to his spot closer to the rocks. I looked out on the now rider-less ocean, feeling as if it had abandoned me. It was the first safe haven to be destroyed; the first to fall in my eyes, soon to be followed by others. This was the new normal – this brokenness. “Kat said I'd find you guys here,” someone said, walking up behind us. I turned towards Jay. He aimed a sad smile at me, then looked at both his brother and Colby in turn. “I told you, you didn't have to come,” I quietly protested, secretly glad he didn't listen to me. He chuckled, but it was forced. False. “When have I ever obeyed you?” I shrugged off Jamie's arm and stood to hug Jay. Probably not a good move, but I didn't care. I just needed my best friend. He'd been with me through everything bad in my life, and now he was here, once again. Beside me. “Thanks for ignoring me,” I said, finally releasing him. “I'd have been here that night, but I had exams. I came as soon as I could. If you'd asked me to though, I'd have skipped them.” Too many emotions were tugging at my ribcage and I sent my gaze to the water, blinking at the setting sun. “I know.” Jay watched me closely as I sat back down and leaned into Jamie once more. He gripped Colby's shoulder in silent camaraderie before sitting beside him. The four of us had been through so much together; we'd grown apart, only to find each other once again. Now, as the world darkened around us, we held onto one other. Colby took my hand in his, a gesture reminiscent of when we were kids. Only this time, he wasn't just protecting his sister; he was holding onto me, taking comfort. The sun had finally sunk below the ocean, but left satin strands of orange and pink to remain and play against the velvet night. It was an unreachable beauty that I knew, now, was only an illusion. The beach was lonely, with only the four of us left; the silence deafening as we waited. And waited. Finally, Colby's phone rang, breaking the tension that threatened to choke us all. He pulled it from his pocket with trembling fingers, the glow lighting up his face. Answering it, he held it to his ear. “Parker,” he said softly. We all watched him take in the news that none of us could hear. “So, she's -” He listened again. “Thanks for calling. And Parker, we're all thinking about your family.” Colby put his phone away and looked to me. “Surgery went well.” And there they were. The words that made my heart start beating again. “She's awake.”

I lunged towards my brother and he caught me as he fell back into the sand, a relieved smile plastered across his lips. A true, genuine smile. It felt like ages since I'd seen one of those. I rolled off him onto the sand and lay there, feeling the cracks in my heart mend just the tiniest bit. * * * Morgan refused to see us the entire time she was in the hospital, but we didn't stop trying. Parker, no longer the care-free girl I knew, kept us updated. Their family was hurting and that wasn't likely to end any time soon. We were all dealing in our own ways. I kept busy, trying to forget. That was easiest. Morgan pulled away from even her closest friends. Colby went about business as usual, keeping up his impervious facade. And Jamie. Oh Jamie, the boy who never needed anyone. Well, he held onto everyone with both hands and his feet and even his teeth if he could. His father became a larger fixture in his life, despite their differences. And me, well things were different than they were before. Jamie laid on my bed, flipping through a magazine. I found him waiting there when I got off work. “Break is almost over,” he said. “We have to go back to that place.” “I hadn't thought about it.” I looked away and pretended to straighten things on my desk. In truth, I'd thought about little else. He leapt up, catching me around the waist. “It's okay. I'm going to be right there with you.” “Uh huh.” “Callie, look at me.” I did as he asked, meeting his bright eyes. “I'm going to be right there with you. We're doing this, you and me. I meant what I told you in that locker room.” I looked down again. His words had been playing through my head for weeks, but they were mixed in with everything else I'd been feeling and we hadn't talked about it. “I'm in love with you.” “I just figured you thought we were going to die.” I tried to make a joke because that's what I did. Deflect. Deflect. Deflect. He pulled me against his chest. “Don't do that.” “Do what?” “Downplay what I'm telling you.” “Jamie, I know you think you love me now, but I don't want it to be just because of what we went through together.” “It's -” I held a finger to his lips. “One of these days this is all going to feel real to you like it does to the rest of us. It's not going to be about speeches with your father or realizing how lucky you are to be alive. Because that's what's happening. You feel lucky and you feel the need to tell people you care. When you crash and that luck turns to guilt or fear, you'll see how hearing someone loves you is not enough to fill the hole in your heart. Not yet.” His arms slipped from my waist to hang limp at his sides. I released him, allowing him to pass me. He stopped at the door and turned. “I'll pick you up for school tomorrow.” I nodded and he was gone.

Chapter Twenty-Eight Callie: The first thing we were told at school was that there were therapists available to talk to us if need be. Talk. Like any of us could form the words. The gym was closed until further notice, just one more reminder. It was exam week since they'd been postponed. I walked into creative writing to be greeted with a warm smile from Mr. Chase. I'd spent a lot of time with him over the holidays but now he was my teacher once again. Looking towards the back, I was shocked to see Morgan sitting in her usual seat. If it wasn't for the sling on her arm, she'd look as if nothing happened. I slid in beside her and she didn't even look up. Hannah sat on her other side, but the two didn't speak. When our exam was over, she stood and made her way to the door, an obvious slowness to her movements. In the halls, just as in the town, we were divided. Those who were there and those who weren't. A line had been drawn. Everyone who'd stayed home, talked about it and stared, but they'd never know. Not really. That evening when I was working, I felt eyes on me wherever I moved. I hadn't only been there, I'd been one of the missing nine that the town agonized over for an hour before we were found. It was a celebrity I didn't want. The muttering started in the booths nearest to the door, spreading across the diner. I turned from where I was refilling sugar packets. Seth's large frame stood in the doorway. He looked around nervously. It was his first time back since that night. He didn't take his usual spot at the counter, instead opting for a booth that was tucked away in the corner, out of sight of prying eyes. He slumped forwards, burying his face in his hands. I should have gone over there. He held no more blame than anyone. So, why couldn't I make my feet move? Before I got the chance, Kat brushed by me, mug of coffee in hand. She set it down in front of Seth, gave his shoulder a squeeze, and sat across from him. She didn't leave his table until he was done and ready to leave. Walking towards me, her eyes said it all. “That poor man.” “I don't know how you do it,” I said. “Do what?” “Be so damn nice all the time.” “Callie.” She forced me to stop what I was doing. “That's not being nice. It's called being human.” Seth returned to his normal routine, stopping in for dinner each evening. The rest of us tried to live our lives as we had before. Exams went as good as could be expected. The new semester started without much fanfare. Talk at school turned from school shooting to graduation and colleges. Matthew and Troy were left out of our words, but it wasn't so easy with our thoughts. Morgan remained aloof, at times cruel, to the people she once cared about. Jamie and I were together, but the things I'd said to him constantly hung between us, a barrier to

break through. The weeks passed and we all put on the act, though in truth, we weren't the same people we were before. College brochures piled up on my desk, a not so subtle nudge from Kat, but I ignored it. The future was not something I could think about.

Chapter Twenty-Nine Jamie: What dude wears make-up? This one apparently. I coughed and sputtered as one of my dad's secretaries brush powder across my cheeks. Again. This was the third interview I'd had to attend in the two months since December. I never said anything. I was an ornament, there to remind the people that my dad was just like them. He too had been touched by tragedy. He was using me, using what happened to us, for political gain. It should have bothered me, but all I knew was that he hadn't hit me since it happened. He hadn't yelled or made me feel like I wasn't wanted in his family. In fact, for the first time in my life, it felt like he wanted me. Me. Not Jay. I'd always been the son in the background. The one he didn't want everyone knowing about because I represented what he'd done. I followed a step behind my father as he walked up to the podium. I blinked rapidly as cameras flashed bright and blinding. Reporters spoke one on top of another, but my father's press secretary was able to calm them down enough to get the questions one at a time. My father expertly answered a few before the big one came. “Congressman Daniels,” the reporter said. “Is it true that you're planning a run for the US senate?” I couldn't see his face, but I could picture my dad's smile. The one he saved for the cameras. His back shook as he chuckled lightly in his scripted way. “Now, Linda. You just had to go and steal my thunder.” There was a rumble of laughter from the crowd. “It's true. Today I am announcing a run for the US senate. But don't you folks worry, my job in the state senate isn't finished and I will continue to work for all of you during this campaign.” “One more question.” The press secretary nodded at a man in the back. “Paul.” “Thank you,” Paul said, rising to his feet. His eyes weren't focused on my father, however, they seared into me. “Your son was part of the missing nine at the tragedy that occurred at Gulf City High and we are so thankful they were all found. But you have as of yet failed to tell us how you plan to combat future events such as this. What will your campaign say about guns in schools?” I wiped my sweaty palms against my slacks, feeling the weight of my father's impending answer hanging in the room. My father glanced sideways at his press secretary. He'd just announced his campaign. He couldn't not answer. My heart thundered in my chest as images of that night rolled through my mind. I'd dreamed about it. Thought about it. Lived it every day since. The heat from the cameras overwhelmed me as we all waited. Someone tapped their foot against the ground, the sound echoing through the room. Growing up with my dad, I knew how politics worked. This early in his campaign, he couldn't speak in support of guns or against them. It was one of the hottest issues in this state. He breathed deeply, preparing to give his scripted answer to any gun question. Without realizing what I was doing, I stepped forward and leaned towards the microphone. “Kids died,” I said, clearing my throat. “My friend was shot.” Someone tried to pull me back, but I shook them off. “Do you get that?” They were more forceful this time. I lunged away from them for one more moment. “Don't fucking politicize us.”

A strong arm wrapped around my chest, pulling me back. One of my father's body guards. I didn't fight him this time. I caught one more glimpse of my father at the podium before he turned on his heel without another word and walked backstage, effectively ending the press conference. “Let me go,” I growled once we were out of sight. He did. With my father refusing to look at me, I stormed out and got in my car without looking back. He was right. I screwed everything up. I couldn't help it. And Callie had been right. Simply feeling lucky to be alive wasn't enough to combat the crash of reality. The clip of me dropping an f-bomb to reporters made the national news. Passionate. Scarred. Misunderstood. Those were a few of the things they called me. It brought my dad the recognition he'd wanted for his campaign, but it was more likely to hurt than to help. That night, he backhanded me for the first time in months as I sat at the kitchen table with my math book open in front of me. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to. Things were back to normal between us. I went to hide out in my room, powering up my laptop and looking through the list of small colleges the guidance counselor sent me. I didn't know if I'd get in, my GPA as low as it was, but I had to try. If there was one thing I knew, it was that I couldn't stay in Gulf City after high school. I had to get away from here.

Chapter Thirty Callie: My mom returned to my dreams for the first time in months. She sat on the beach, my beach - our beach, with the faceless man beside her. She had the most care-free laugh and my dream-self wanted to watch her forever. A calm settled over me as I woke slowly. The corner of my mouth lifted in a half smile as I rolled over and flipped on the bedside lamp. The clock read half past six. The early rays of light filtered in through my window, creating an eerie glow. Stretching my arms above my head, I realized I had the entire day off. Colby was working at the diner with Kat and Jamie had some interview thing with his dad again. He'd had one after school yesterday as well. I didn't know what to do on my own. I laid there for a moment longer before heading downstairs in search of sustenance. I almost passed it without notice. Almost. Then something made me turn and the yellow flowers caught my eye. There, leaning against the wall by the front door, was mom's board. I'd always think of it as hers. She was only lending it to me. I reached out slowly, tapping my fingers against it to make sure it was real. My lips curled up. I could feel mom's strength radiating off it, permeating my hard core. A post-it fluttered to the floor. I bent to pick it up. Hope you don't mind. I stole the pieces from under your bed. You need the waves as much as I need you. I love you - don't tell me I don't. -Jamie I leaned my forehead against the smooth board, he'd even waxed it for me. A laugh begun in my belly before finding it's outlet. “Is today the day, mom?” I whispered. Suddenly wide awake, I ran back to my room. I grabbed my phone off the bedside table, checking my alerts. Sure enough it was there. The waves were in. I started digging through the pile of clothes on my floor, pulling free a bathing suit and wetsuit before putting them on so quickly you'd think there was an emergency. I tied my hair in the usual braid and ran out of there. Thankfully, Colby rode to the diner with Kat, leaving his car at home. I grabbed his keys and a granola bar on my way out. I slid the board in the back, having to open a window for it to fit, then took off. I was hardly the first one at the beach. Surfers dotted the horizon, riding the gorgeous waves. They rolled towards the beach with a steady rhythm, pounding the sand like the beat of a drum. I can do this, I told myself. And I could. Something had changed the moment I touched that board

again. I no longer felt so far away from her, my mom. A piece of me had returned. I ran down the beach, not slowing until my feet splashed into the water. Fear gripped me momentarily, but I pushed it away. I needed this and it was now or never. Wading out deeper, I tightened the Velcro around my ankle, running my hand over the still visible scar. I let the water take hold of my board and breathed deeply. In. Out. Don't think. Just do. Let the ocean wash away that which troubles you. It was a saying I used to live by and wanted to feel again. The water was chest high by the time I pulled myself onto my board and started paddling. After so many months away, my arms burned, but I kept going. I had to. Stroke. Stroke. Push yourself to the limit. Let the feel of the water, the strain of your muscles, fill your mind. I pushed out, breaking through a large wave, letting the water crash around me like a symphony speeding up its pace. Once I was past the breaking waves, I sat up and kicked myself around. Looking back over my shoulder, I chose a wave and made sure the way was clear. My body remembered what to do. It had never been scared, only held back. My arms swung, racing against the wave. They straightened and I brought my feet under me, catching my balance. That was it. I was home. That was me. I turned into the wave, riding through a tunnel that was trying to swallow me whole. When I came out of it still standing, I pumped my fist in the air, knowing that if anything could heal me, this was it. The pieces of my soul started moving back into place. I dove off my board in one graceful movement, surfacing moments later with a smile on my face. I only made it halfway on the next wave before tumbling off. I thought I'd be scared as the wave dragged me under, but I knew what to do and it didn't take much effort to break the surface. I conquered a few more before letting the water push me closer into the beach. I sat up on my board, throwing my head back with a laugh as I kicked my legs. “Hey,” someone called from further in. “Callie, right?” I caught the red hair and recognized her immediately. “That's me. You're Freya.” “I've had an eye out for you since your accident.” She walked closer, her bright yellow board tucked under her arm. “Yeah, well it's taken me a little while to find my way back.” “I get that,” she said. “I didn't surf for a year after I hit some rocks out in California.” “You've surfed in California?” Her smile widened. “Nothing here compares.” “Then why are you in Gulf city?” “It's where the rest of my heart lies. The waves will always be here for you, but the people we love may not.” Her words hit me with so much force that I stumbled backwards. “Freya, it was good to see you. I have to go.” She nodded knowingly and headed back out into the waves. I called Jamie on the way home to throw some dry clothes on, but he didn't answer. I had to tell him. I was wrong when I told him he didn't love me. It'd been months and we hadn't talked about it since. I hadn't been myself, or maybe I'd been too much myself. I didn't know. Leaving my wet-suit in a sopping pile on the floor, I pulled on some jeans and a red cotton shirt. No one answered the front door when I rapped the large brass knocker against the wood. I rang the doorbell and still no such luck. About to leave, I caught the faint sound of a guitar coming from the backyard. Taking the steps two at a time, I leapt off the pillared porch and ran around to the high wooden

gate. It was stained black, contrasting with the light house and standing as a warning to any uninvited trespassers. The latch was old and worn, rarely used, but I managed to push it open and step into the backyard. Jamie sat with his back to me, guitar resting naturally on his thigh. His head hung low, eyes tracking his fingers as they worked the complicated song. The music washed over me, full of sadness and desperation. Not the typical kind of song Jamie was known for. It wasn't an original; never was. He claimed he wasn't smart enough or good enough to write. I'd known Jamie most of my life, but never understood him, never known anything about his life. Now that I did, my heart broke for all those years. I walked quietly up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder and leaning in to kiss the side of his head, not wanting him to stop. He flinched away from me, the music crashing to a halt. “Sorry,” I murmured, stepping in front of him. “Didn't mean to startle you.” He sighed in relief upon hearing my voice and looked up at me, breathing heavily. I sucked in a breath when I saw his face, a swirling brown and red bruise stretching the length of his cheek. “What happened?” I reached out to touch his face. He turned away from me and set his guitar down. “Did you see the news?” he asked, back still towards me. “Haven't had a chance.” He pulled out his phone and turned back around, typing on the screen. Angling it towards me, he nodded for me to watch the video that was coming up. Jamie's dad appeared, but the clip was only the end of the press conference. I saw him go off on the reporters and couldn't help the laugh that escaped. Or the ones after that. “Don't fucking politicize it,” I wheezed. “You said that to a freaking reporter.” He gave me an amused smile. “I know. I was there. It got me this bruise and dis-invited from today's interview.” I slapped my leg, bending over to catch my breath. “Oh my God, if I wasn't already in love with you, I sure as hell would be now.” His wry smile turned into a full-fledged grin. “If what?” “Huh?” That was not how I wanted to say it. No. Definitely not. “You're in love with me.” “I don't know what you're talking about.” “You know, it's just the grief talking. You aren't actually in love with me.” I couldn't believe he was throwing that back in my face. “Ass.” I stomped off the deck. “You love this ass.” I stopped, laughing once again. “I do. It's the boy attached to the ass I'm not so sure about.” “No take backs,” he sang. “Does this mean I can finally tell you I love you without you cutting off my balls.” “Jamie!” He jumped from the deck, landing in front of me. His arms circled my waist. “I love you Callie McCoy.” He held me to him as he dipped me back, almost to the ground, and kissed me like none of the rest of it mattered. Bringing me back up, he grinned. “I've always wanted to do that.” “Nerd.” I laughed, still a little breathless. “I do love you though. Not just because of the interview. It's everything. Jamie, I can't believe you got my board fixed. I thought it was a goner.” “I have a guy,” he said. “He went out of his way to keep the original.” “I did it. I went back out there today.”

Before I knew it, I was being lifted off my feet and spun around. Jamie let out a yell. “I'm so proud of you. How did it feel?” “Like coming home.”

Chapter Thirty-One Callie: Hurrying out of the school, I did my best to tie my hair up into a pony tail. I was running late. Surprise surprise. Jamie cornered me after my last class, pulling me into an empty room and kissing all sense of obligation right out of my head. I'd forgotten I promised Kat I'd be at the diner right after school. She had some kind of meeting she wouldn't tell me about. I hiked my bag higher on my shoulder and scanned the parking lot for where Colby parked his car. He was hitting the weight room with Jamie and would get a ride to the diner for the dinner shift. “Dammit, Colby,” I mumbled to myself. My eyes scanned each row, finally settling on the familiar death trap. We McCoys seemed to have a penchant for barely running cars. Man, I missed my truck. Before setting off in that direction, I spotted Morgan sitting alone on a bench. She kicked her toe against the ground with her head dipped low, refusing to acknowledge anyone around her. There was a battle going on inside of me. I wanted nothing more than to get in that car and drive away. I was already late and this was a girl who'd been nothing but nasty for months. But my body seemed to have other ideas. I walked towards her slowly. Rocking back on my heels, I waited for her to look up. “Hey,” I said finally. “Hey,” she muttered, tucking strands of her blond hair behind her ears. It wasn't styled as it usually was, perfectly straightened and then curled. No, it looked stringy, like she hadn't bothered trying. That wasn't the Morgan I knew. When she finally looked up, her gaze was on some far-off place. “Are you okay?” Can you say awkward? “I'm fine.” She wiped a hand across her face and sniffled slightly. “Where's your car?” “I sort of crashed it last week.” She shrugged. Why didn't I hear about that? Last semester, this girl changed my life, she changed me - gave me confidence that I hadn't had in years. She made me happy. Did I owe her anything even after these past months? No, I didn't. But a part of me couldn't stand seeing her like that. “Do you have a ride?” I asked. “My mom was supposed to pick me up, but she's been … forgetful.” “Well, I have to get to work.” I pointed over my shoulder at the rows of cars. “But do you feel like a coffee.” Morgan didn't react right away as she weighed my words. With a tiny nod of her head, she said, “That'd be nice.” The ride to the diner was stifling. I didn't know what to say to Morgan and she seemed intent on not saying anything at all. Kat was waiting for me when I walked in. “I told you to be here right after school let out.” “I know, I'm sorry.” I inclined my head towards Morgan and Kat's scowl fell. “Hi Morgan.” She gave her a soft smile and then, to my surprise, pulled Morgan into a hug. “We've missed you around here.”

Morgan's back shook, but as Kat released her, she regained her composure. “You and Colby can handle the dinner rush, right?” Kat asked. “After my meeting, Noah wants to take me out.” “What's this meeting about, anyways?” I eyed her curiously. “I already told you it's none of your business.” “Fine fine. Yes, go. Have fun. Don't worry about us. There are two cooks on the schedule so Colby and I will only have to handle the front.” “Like you two would ever help cook.” Kat laughed. “Just go.” I pushed her towards the door, waving goodbye as she got into her car. Turning back to Morgan, I gestured towards the counter. She sat on a stool while I tied my apron on and started a fresh pot of coffee. I went to check on the two customers we had. It was another slow day. Once they were taken care of, I slid a mug towards Morgan and poured coffee into it. Then I grabbed the bowl of creamer packets and handed it to her before she could ask. Some things you don't forget. Working up the nerve, I finally asked the question that'd been on my mind for the past two months. “How's your family doing?” She finished stirring in a packet of sweetener before lifting the cup to her lips slowly. Taking a tiny sip, she placed it back on the counter and looked up at me. “Do you really want to know, Callie?” she asked. “Of course.” “It's just that most people would rather forget. They ask how we are out of obligation, but they don't truly want an answer other than 'good'. No one will talk about it. My mom won't even let us mention Troy.” Her eyes began to water. “Morgan, you can talk to me.” “After how terrible I've been? The rational part of me knows you were just protecting your brother. I was the cheater. But the other part of me, blamed you for spinning my life out of control. That was the beginning and it's hard to separate that terrible feeling from the horror of losing my brother, the pain of being shot.” “That's why you've been so mean?” She nodded, taking another sip of coffee. Her hands shook as she lifted the cup. When she caught me noticing, she put it down quickly. “Side effect,” she explained. “Just another reminder.” She rested her elbows on the counter and hid her face in her hands. “My mom barely leaves the house. Dad barely leaves work. Parker's the same way. All she does is jump out of those damn planes.” “That's not surprising,” I said. “Have you ever gone with her?” “No.” “Maybe it'd help you. Up there, all your problems disappear, even if it's only for a short time.” “I thought she was just avoiding being home with me and mom.” A harsh laugh escaped her. “I don't know how to help any of them. I can't even help myself.” Before I could respond, the bell above the door chimed and in walked Seth Franklin. I froze, looking back and forth between Seth and Morgan. Morgan looked towards the door, her face showing no recognition. Sighing in relief, I walked towards Seth. “Afternoon, Seth. Do you want a booth today?” I asked, hoping his answer was yes. “That's okay, Sweetheart. I'll sit at the counter today.” To my dismay, he situated himself on the stool next to Morgan. I moved back behind the counter, pulling out a mug, filling it, and setting it in front of him.

“The usual, Seth?” I asked. “You're too good to an old man like me.” He smiled as I wrote his order on my pad and set it in the pass-through window to the kitchen. When I walked back, Seth was chatting with Morgan as if they were just two strangers who weren't grieving the same event. I guessed, to them, they were. “I'm sorry to hear about your brother,” Seth was saying. I don't know what possessed her to tell him about Troy. Seth was open and had this caring way about him. Maybe that prompted it. “I recently lost my grandson,” Seth continued. “I'm not sure it ever gets easier. Especially when most people want to remember them for the things they did wrong. All I think about is the sweet child he once was.” “I treated my brother like the annoying younger sibling for most of my life. He was only two years younger than me. I figured we had plenty of time to be friends when we were older.” I felt like I'd intruded on some deep conversation, but Seth pinned me with his gaze, preventing me from leaving, when he said his next words. “Death teaches us more about life than living ever does.” Seth and I both knew he was talking about Matthew, but Morgan nodded along in ignorance. Seth's food was ready and as I set it in front of him, he gave me a sad smile. Morgan smiled too when I handed her a piece of pie. An actual smile. My gut clenched when I looked at the two of them side by side. Both destroyed by a single night. A customer came to the counter to pay his bill. I ran his card and he was on his way. After taking the check out to the other diner and accepting her payment, I turned on my heel and went into the back room, needing a second to breathe. Pain gripped my chest as I breathed deeply. In. Out. My teeth clattered as I released the last puff of air and turned, hearing the bell above the door signal a new arrival. Colby and Jamie were walking in when I reappeared. Jamie came straight to me, pulling me close for a scorching kiss. “Hi,” I breathed. A smirk appeared on his face. “Hi yourself.” Behind him, I saw Colby give Morgan a long hug. When he pulled back, he glanced between Morgan and Seth, a question in his eyes. He shrugged with a nonchalance I envied before pulling on his own apron. “We've been super busy,” I said. “I can see that.” Colby laughed, looking around the nearly empty diner. He shook hands with Seth as Jamie plopped himself down on the other side of Morgan and threw and arm around her shoulders. “So,” he said. “Are you done avoiding us?” Morgan laughed self-consciously. “You should be used to people avoiding you, Jamie.” “Ms. Cook, you wound me.” He squeezed her tighter. “We've missed you.” I watched them with a contented smile on my face. Morgan needed us, but I had the feeling we needed her just as much.

Chapter Thirty-Two Callie: College application deadlines were long passed and I hadn't sent any in. Not a single one. It was a decision that aunt Kat and Colby wouldn't understand, but I felt like there was something else I was supposed to be doing. Graduation was only a couple months away and I didn't know what would happen after that. Before the shooting, I may have done what was expected of me - go to a small school and get a degree in something I didn't particularly care about. That wasn't me anymore. I might not have known what I wanted, but I knew what I didn't want. Would I stay in Gulf City? That was another question that had no answer. Was there anything for me here? I looked towards Jamie's sleeping figure. Was he staying? If so, was that enough for me? I wanted something big for my life, but I also wanted him. He shifted, groaning in his sleep, as the sheet dipped lower, revealing more of his bare skin. Unable to resist the urge, I reached out to touch the soft blond curls on his chest. He groaned again, shifting towards me. One eye cracked open. “Mmmm, hi.” I smiled at him, angling closer. We'd gone to his house after school. The intention was not to spend all afternoon making out in bed, but there we were. We'd fallen asleep. The sun was long gone and the moon cast shadows across the room. “I wish I could stay all night,” I whispered. “You can.” “Kat would kill me.” I laughed. “Well.” He rolled over, pinning me to the bed. “We can't have that.” I rose off the bed to kiss him, eliciting a moan when I bit his lip. “Keep kissing me like that and I'll never let you leave.” His voice was low. “Kiss you like what?” I kissed him again. “Like this?” He pushed closer, a growl ripping from his throat. His hands ran up my skin underneath my top. I was so distracted I didn't hear the pounding on the door. “Jamie, you in here?” Jay pushed open the door, freezing immediately. “Shit.” “Jay,” I yelled. “What the hell, man?” Jamie cursed. Jay backed out quickly, shutting the door behind him. I scrambled from the bed, fumbling for my clothes on the ground. Jamie switched on the lamp by his bed and started getting dressed as well. Neither of us said anything. Weird didn't begin to cover it. I was out the door before Jamie could stop me. Jay was waiting downstairs, his hands in his pockets. He gave me a sheepish grin and rocked back on his heels nervously. “Oh, shut up,” I snapped, wanting to slap my best friend. “I'm just surprised is all.” He laughed. “I knew you guys were kind of starting something, but damn.” I grabbed his arm and made him follow me out the door. “Don't you be an ass to him about this,” I

scolded. “Why are you even here?” “Doesn't sound like you're happy to see me.” “You know it's not like that. I'm always glad when you're around.” “Spring break.” He shrugged. “Us too. Today was our last day of school. Look, I've got to get home. Sunday I don't have to work, you want to hang out.” “With you? Always.” Jamie came out and I waved goodbye as we got into his car so he could drive me home. * * * The house was dark when I got home save for a single light in the kitchen. I stood in the doorway, watching aunt Kat sit hunched over at the table, papers spread out in front of her. She pressed the heels of her hands against both eyes and let out a troubled sigh. “Dammit,” she muttered to herself. “Everything okay?” I asked. She jerked her head up sharply as if I'd shocked her. “Callie.” As I moved further into the room, she quickly gathered up the papers in front of her, hiding them from view. “You're home late.” She was trying to distract me. I walked to the fridge and pulled it open. Peering inside as the cold jolted me, I grabbed a bottle of water, but before the door could swing shut, I changed my mind and pulled out a beer instead. Kat raised an eyebrow as I unscrewed the cap and set the chilled bottle in front of her. “You look like you could use it.” She didn't argue, taking a long swig before looking at me again. I sat across from her. “Now, what's wrong?” “Not anything you should have to worry about.” “Kat.” “Callie.” I leaned back in the chair, crossing my arms over my chest. If she wanted to be stubborn, so did I. “I have all night.” “When did you get so grown up?” She laughed, brushing honeyed bangs out of her face. “It's been quite the year.” “Yes, it has.” Another sigh. “Maybe you do have a right to know.” “Know what?” Colby appeared in the doorway. “I might as well tell you both.” She gestured to an empty chair. “Sit down.” “You're scaring me, Kat,” I said. “When your mother died, she left everything to the two of you. I'm only the guardian. The will was written so that control goes to you the day you graduate high school. That's coming quickly.” She slid a paper across the table and I scooted closer to Colby so we could both read it. Numbers were arranged in columns with dates along the side. “I don't understand what this says.” Irritation was starting to get the better of me. Colby picked it up to examine it closer. After a long moment, he looked up at Kat. “That bad?” She nodded. “The diner has lost money every summer since it was opened by your mother. That's nothing new, but it's always been rectified once the snow birds come to town. Winter carries us the rest of the year. The last two winters have seen more loss than profit.” She pulled out another sheet from the pile in front of her. I jumped out of my chair to go look over

her shoulder. Colby stood and laid a hand on Kat's shoulder. “These are the projections for the rest of the spring and summer. I'm not sure there's enough to keep the doors open.” She slammed her fist down on the table. I stared down at her, words failing me. The diner. Our diner. Mom's diner. It was home. And now it too would be gone. A tear rolled down my cheek. “How did this happen?” Kat's shoulders shook under Colby's grasp. He grabbed my hand, connecting the three of us. “I'm so sorry kiddos,” Kat choked out. “I've failed you. I've failed my sister.” “No one believes that, Kat,” Colby said, his steadiness keeping us from falling apart. “Look at me, both of you.” We did as he asked. “We're a team, right? We'll get through this.” Kat placed a hand over his and I nodded slowly. “There will be some decisions to make,” Kat said. “But first, I need to go make a phone call.” She left us standing there, the foundation on which we'd stood less stable than it was before. * * * A desperate calm overtook me and I donned my pajamas. A feeling of being out of control, but an acceptance that there was nothing to be done. The rhythm that came with brushing my teeth brought about a welcome feeling of normalcy. Every night I did it. There was nothing different about tonight. Only there was. Hours ago, I'd been with Jamie, only worried about the future. Now it was the past that came unbidden to my mind. The diner held many memories. Working there provided the stability I'd sorely needed in my life. The connection to my mother when not even the ocean called. Kat's raised voice drifted through her door. “No. I already told you. We aren't using it for this.” I inched closer, pushing the feeling of intrusion from my mind. Aunt Kat had kept enough from us. “You don't understand,” she said, her voice low. There was a long moment of silence when the person on the other end of the call must've been talking. “That money is theirs. It will go towards their future. I will not sink another dime of it into keeping a failing business afloat.” She let out a curse and then everything went silent. I pushed open her door. “Who were you talking to?” I demanded. “Callie,” she sighed. “Leave this alone.” “No. Colby and I have a right to know things that will affect our lives. Maybe if you'd told us about the problems with the diner sooner, we wouldn't have been blindsided.” She jerked back as if I'd slapped her. “When you grow up, Callie, you'll learn quickly that just because you demand something, doesn't mean it's what you'll get. Leave. This. Alone.” I spun around and stormed out of her room, slamming the door behind me. Stomping into Colby's room, I threw myself onto his bed. “I'm so sick of these secrets,” I growled. He looked up from his desk, removing his glasses as he did. “I don't get it,” he said. “If the diner hasn't been making any money, how has Kat been paying the bills?” “That's what I mean. She was on the phone talking to someone about us and I got the feeling someone has been sending money.” “Who, though? Grandma and grandpa didn't leave them anything. There's no more family that we

know of.” I leaned forward conspiratorially. “That we know.” He picked up on my meaning. “You think?” “We need to find out.” “Kat and Noah are going down to Tampa for a couple days this week.” Colby wasn't usually one for breaking the rules. “We can go through the stuff in the attic.” “Monday.” He nodded. Waiting that long was going to be torture.

Chapter Thirty-Three Callie: I sat next to Jay on the beach wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, but wishing I was in my wet-suit. That'd get me out of this funk, clear my mind. Colby, Jamie, Morgan, and Parker ran the length of the beach kicking a soccer ball between them. Jamie shouted something at Colby, laughing at the top of his lungs as he dribbled around him before passing to Morgan. Jay bumped his shoulder into mine. “Can I ask you a question?” I looked into his worried face and frowned. I couldn't take any more bad news. “Sure.” I bumped his shoulder back, finally eliciting a smile. “Is Jamie doing okay? I can't get him to talk to me.” “You guys have never been very brotherly.” “Cal, I just need to know that he's OK. He may not care one ounce for me, but I still worry about the knuckle head. He just can't see past my relationship with my father.” “To be fair, your dad is an ass.” Looking towards Jamie, I knew I'd defend him to anyone, even my best friend. He ignored my comment, but the corners of his lips pulled down. There were some things we didn't talk about. “Jamie doesn't seem like himself these days.” My shoulders sagged under the weight of that statement and I couldn't honestly refute it. “He's changed,” I admitted. “The other Jamie is still there, he's just more, I guess.” I met Jay's eye. “He's kinder than he ever was before. He tells me what he's feeling. Before, when we were sneaking around, I was sure he'd be done with me quickly.” “Not you, Cal,” Jay admitted. “Jamie has had this thing for you since we were young. I thought it had gone away until the two of us started dating. Did I ever tell you he hit me?” I choked out a laugh. “No.” “He'd been drinking. Called me a bastard.” Jay looked away. “I told him I wasn't the bastard in the family. The only time I've ever thrown that in his face.” I closed my eyes for a moment as Jay continued. “At the time, I thought I was in love with you too.” My eyes snapped open. He smiled sadly. “I think the two of us just wanted to love each other.” “Would have been easier.” “Do you love my brother?” he asked. I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips. “I do.” “I wasn't okay with this initially, but I'm happy for you. Just please watch out for him. He's always been the kid who got by fine despite the lack of direction in his life. But the real world is coming and he can't survive it being the little lost boy anymore.” The ball came sailing towards us. I snatched it out of the air and glanced up to see a now shirtless Jamie running towards us. “Aren't you cold?” I laughed. “Nah.” He shrugged.

“You're nuts.” “Aw, babe, I love it when you talk about my nuts,” he smirked. I kicked sand at him and threw the ball as hard as I could towards my brother so he could dribble away from Jamie. Jamie shrugged as he plunked down in the sand near me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Ew,” I shrieked. “You're all sweaty.” “I want a kiss,” he said, resting his chin on my shoulder. “What if I don't want to kiss you?” “Oh, you do.” He was right, of course. I tried for something quick, uncomfortably aware of Jay sitting on the other side of me, but Jamie wasn't having it. He took what I gave and demanded more, sliding his warm tongue into my mouth with a groan. His hands held my face in place until he finally let up. “God, I love you,” he breathed, releasing me and jumping to his feet. “Are you coming, lover boy?” Morgan yelled. With a final wink, Jamie ran after them. “That is not my brother,” Jay laughed, shaking his head. “Jay, you ask me to help him, but what if he's not the only one who's lost?” I turned towards him. “Callie …” He didn't know what else to say. “This year has been hard. I've done things I never would've dreamed. My life has been invaded by all these doubts and fears. The shooting changed how I see the world. It changed me. And now I don't know anything anymore. We graduate soon and after that, I can't see my life.” I lifted my eyes to his. “Everyone at school is talking about college. Colby has a full scholarship. I haven't told anyone this, but I didn't even apply.” “Seriously?” He looked stunned. “Why not?” “I had a few colleges picked out and then everything happened. After that, I realized I didn't want to do something just because it was expected. In that locker-room, all I could think was that I was going to die and all I'd ever done was sit in a classroom. So, I watched the deadlines pass.” “So, what do you want to do?” “I don't know.” I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around my knees. “Get out of Gulf City I guess.” “How does Jamie fit into that?” he asked. “I don't know that either.” He sat still for a while, before pulling me into a side hug as we turned our attention to our friends, their care-free laughter standing as a strange backdrop to our thoughts of the future. * * * “Is she gone?” I asked as Colby peered out the front window. “Just pulled away,” he confirmed. I jumped up from the couch and followed my brother out into the garage. He pulled out a ladder and positioned it under the door to the attic before climbing to the top and pushing up on the ceiling panel that was our access. He slid it out of the way as I positioned myself near the bottom. His head and torso disappeared into the small attic. “There isn't much up here.” His voice was muffled coming through the ceiling. “Let's bring it all down,” I called. He ducked out of the attic, box in hand, and stepped down a few rungs before handing it to me. This

was repeated until we had stacks of about ten boxes. Neither of us had ever had much interest in what was up there, but now it seemed to be the only thing that mattered. I hoisted a box into my arms, carrying it inside and dropping it in the middle of the living room floor with a loud thud. Colby followed suit as I headed out for another one. Once it was all there, right in front of us, we both froze as the enormity of what we were doing crashed down around us. “Our father could be in there,” he whispered reverently. I looked at him, scanning his face until our eyes met. My brother had never before shown an interest in learning about our past. Our entire lives, I'd been the one asking questions, hounding mom and aunt Kat. Maybe he'd just been hiding it well, because now, in his eyes, all I saw was a desperation that matched my own. He gave me a small smile and a nod. It was time. We moved as one towards the boxes, lowering ourselves to sit in front of them on the floor. I lifted the lid off the first one as Colby got to work on another. Memories of my mom flooded out. Nick knacks and other inconsequential things Kat hadn't been able to bring herself to get rid of. Family heirlooms I recognized. Mom used to show us these things with pride as she talked about her parents who were gone by the time we were four. I moved on to the next box and then the next. More of the same. An hour passed and we were no closer. I picked up a framed photo of my mom as a child and smiled for just an instant before slamming it down. “There's nothing here.” I shoved the box away with my foot as the disappointment closed in around me. Colby took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “There's one more.” He gestured to the small final box, resignation dulling his movements. The final box was full of pictures, nothing more. Colby scooted towards me and we began to lay them on the floor in front of us. Mom smiling - as always. Mom and Kat. Mom, Kat, and their parents. Kat and some man. Mom sitting on her surf board in the ocean next to a man I didn't recognize. I turned to grab more pictures to sift through. Wait. Snatching the image off the ground, I held it closer. “Do you have something?” Colby asked. The beat of my heart pounded in my ears, drowning out all other sound. This was it. Him. I turned the photo over to see mom's familiar messy scrawl. E and A. Always. “E and A,” I muttered. I knew who A was. Allison. Mom. “Who the hell is E?” Colby took the picture from my shaking hands, his eyes lighting up when he read the back. “This has to be him, doesn't it?” I only nodded. Faceless man from my dreams was faceless no more. The picture had to be at least nineteen years old because it was before mom was pregnant. I didn't recognize the beach they were near, so I focused on the man whose blood ran through my veins. He had brown hair a few shades darker than mine and Colby's. Deep chocolate eyes stared towards the camera, a stubborn tilt to his chin. He wasn't smiling like the woman beside him. No, he seemed different. Strong arms rested on tanned thighs, the relaxation in his pose in stark contrast to the grim determination on his face. “He looks like you do when you surf,” Colby said, eying me curiously.

If that was true, I knew what he looked like moments after this picture - riding a wave instead of waiting for one. His muscles would strain and flex, doing what they were made to do, and his face would soften as his mind went blank. We didn't know his name. We didn't know where he lived. We didn't know why he left. There was only one thing we were sure of. This man was our father.

Chapter Thirty-Four Callie: We didn't find anything else that would give us clues as to who the man was. Kat had proven time and time again that she wasn't going to share what she knew. We were at a dead end. Colby did better moving forward than I did. He started looking towards graduation, working harder than ever to keep his grades up and training non-stop to head into his first college soccer season in the best shape of his life. I had less to distract me. Trying to cut costs, we scaled back open hours at the diner. Kat let one of the cooks go, forcing herself to spend a majority of her time in the kitchen while I ran the front. The worst part about that was that it didn't seem to be helping our bottom line. We grew even slower as the snow birds made their great escape north after Easter. I had my back to the door when the bell above it chimed, signaling a customer - our only one at the moment. I spun around. “Hey Morgan,” I called. She smiled at me and then called something behind her. Her mom appeared seconds later. I took a step back, the smile falling from my face for an instant before a fake one replaced it. I hadn't seen this woman since my birthday party at her house. Certainly not since she lost her son. What was I going to say to her? Nothing. That's what I had. Absolutely nothing. Morgan had been slow to recover and even now there were times where I could tell the bubbly girl she'd once been was gone. But she was trying. And she had us to help her. Her mom was a different story. Morgan told us of how she spent most of her time shut up in the house. She refused to talk about Troy. Just seeing her brought it all back. We'd all done our best to forget. Okay, maybe forget was the wrong word. That would never happen, but we wanted to let go. “Mrs. Cook.” I recovered quickly. “How are you?” “Hi Callie,” she said softly. “We're just stopping in for a coffee.” “If you want to have a seat in one of the booths, I'll bring it.” Mrs. Cook did as I bade, but Morgan followed me back behind the counter. “I finally got her out of the house,” she said, sadness creeping into her voice. “How's she doing?” “Did I ever tell you that Troy was her favorite?” Morgan asked instead of answering my question. I looked at her over my shoulder as I made a fresh pot of coffee and shook my head. “Parents will say they don't choose favorites, but they always do. Parker and I were always okay with it though, because Troy was just Troy. She won't even let me mention his name and that hurts more than anything.” I turned around, leaning my hip against the counter as the machine started to drip behind me. “I'm sorry, Morgan.” Those words felt stupid, pointless. She'd probably heard the same thing a million times. “I'm leaving after graduation.” I jerked upright in surprise. “Where are you going?”

“I told you once that I wanted to spend a year traveling before college. Nothing that happened this year has changed that.” “I guess I thought …” “That getting shot and losing my brother would throw a wrench in my plans?” She cocked her head to the side. “If anything, it's made me want to go even more. I want to be here for my mom, but I feel like I'm suffocating. My life didn't stop just because Troy's did and I don't want to feel guilty for that.” “You shouldn't.” I turned again to pour the coffee in a carafe. “Do you know where you're going to go?” She grinned. “I'm starting in Prague. We'll see from there. Parker's coming with me, especially since dad agreed to finance it. He thinks we need to get away.” She took the carafe from me and started heading towards her table. “Anyway, have you decided what you're doing after graduation?” “No. No, I haven't.” I took a step back. “Enjoy your coffee. I'll be over by the counter if you need me.” I couldn't get away fast enough. It was the question on everyone's mind. What's next. Morgan and her mom stayed for two cups of coffee, leaving some bills on the table, and waving as they left. The silence of the empty diner left me with only my own thoughts for company, eating away at my sanity. Kat was cleaning in the kitchen, so I wiped down every surface out front. Twice. I pulled the picture I always kept with me out of my purse, staring at the man who now had a face, but no name. E. Eric? Ethan? Elijah? The bell chimed and I put it away quickly. Colby and Jamie walked in. Without a word, Jamie wrapped me in a hug. “Mmm,” I said. “How do you always know what I need?” “Oh, this is totally selfish. I just wanted your hot little body pressed up against me.” I pushed away from him, slapping his chest with a laugh. “Jerk.” “I was just kidding.” He chuckled. “Come here.” He pulled me back to him. “Wanna get out of here?” I nodded against his chest, looking towards Colby who was putting on his apron. “I'm here to relieve you,” he said. “Go.” I couldn't untie my apron fast enough. Jamie and I ended up back at his house. He slid past me into his room, giving me a kiss on the move. I followed him in, climbing onto his big bed and leaning back. “Can I ask you something?” I said. “Sure,” he responded. “We never talk about what's next.” He leaned over, removing his guitar from its case. “I don't know what you mean.” “Yes, you do. We've actually gotten quite good at it. Masterful even. I've known you most of my life. We've been together for months. Yet, I have no clue what you're doing after high school. You don't find that weird?” “I don't know what you're doing.” He shrugged the strap over his shoulder, testing a few notes with his thumb. “That's weird. We're weird.” “We're perfect.” He flashed me a dimpled grin and started playing slow and steady, his fingers switching chords smoothly. I knew what he was doing. When he started singing, it almost worked. His voice had a smooth quality that was hard to resist. “I know what you're trying to do.” I crossed my arms, keeping my eyes trained on his face. Those

lips as they formed the words to the song. Those cheeks that always reddened slightly when he was playing for me. Those eyes, deeper than the ocean. “I don't know what you're talking about.” There was that grin again. The one that worked for every girl he unleashed it on. I clamped my hand down over his on the strings, stopping the vibrations immediately. Leaning forward, I captured his lips, biting down to elicit a growl. He kissed me back just as hard, the guitar preventing it from going further. I finally broke away. “Now that that's out of my system.” I flashed him a smile of my own, enjoying his speechlessness. “Talk to me, Jamie.” He pulled the guitar strap off over his head and pushed it to the side. “I'm still deciding,” he said vaguely. “Didn't most people already have to accept their college spots?” “There are a few deadlines that aren't until June,” he said. “I'm weighing my options.” I took what he said at face value because at the time, it never occurred to me that Jamie Daniels, son of a state senator, wouldn't go to college. And it definitely didn't occur to me that the place he would choose would be far away. “What about you?” He nudged me. “You didn't apply to college, so what's next for Callie McCoy?” “I honestly don't know.” I leaned into him. “And, Jamie, that scares the crap out of me.”

Chapter Thirty-Five Jamie: We regret to inform you that you have not been selected to attend our university for fall semester. “Regret,” I said, my voice growing louder. “Regret. Here's what I'll do with your regret!” My fist curled around the letter, crumpling it into a ball and flinging it with all my strength. It flew out my open bedroom door, striking the wall with little impact. That was the last one. They all said the same thing. With a GPA that was barely enough to graduate, I didn't know what I was expecting. Maybe that my dad's status as a state senator would hold some sway on my future. Great. Just my luck. My father's footsteps, slightly muffled by the carpeting, came down the hall. I couldn't look at him as he stopped to pick up the ball of paper. “Throwing things?” he asked, reaching to hand it back. Before I could take it from him, he thought better of it and started to flatten it out. “Hmmph.” His only response. I braced for his reaction, but he only released the letter, letting it float to the ground, and left without another word. I had to get out of there. My fingers grazed the phone in my pocket, itching to call Callie, but all it'd do was prove that I wasn't good enough. Not for my father. Not for her. Grabbing the shirt hanging on the back of my desk chair, I slid it over my head and swiped my keys off their hook. I was in my car and heading down the road in record time. Rolling my window down, I felt the warm spring air blast my face and pressed down harder on the gas pedal. Weaving in and out of cars, I knew where I was heading. Dixon road was lined by preserve on one side and horse ranches on the other. It was deserted save for the odd car. I sped up, adrenaline pumping through my veins. The car slid towards the center of the road when I took a curve too fast, but I veered back over quickly. Graduation was only a month away. I amped up the speed. I had no idea what was next. I cranked up the stereo. Everyone I knew was going off to college or travel. A scream ripped through my chest. Not everyone, I suddenly remembered, easing up on the gas. Callie had been trying to talk about this for months. She was just as scared as me. I slowed some more, breathing deeply with the need to see her. The road curved as a cross street came in on the left next to an old, run down barn. I tried to turn, but the car had other ideas. I should have been frightened. I should have screamed. Instead, I closed my eyes, stomping my foot down as hard as I could on the brake. The car screeched. She protested, fought me with everything she had. I was slammed forward, my face bouncing off the steering wheel with a mighty crack. My eyes sprung open as I was jostled, the wheels bouncing along the rough terrain. Then it was over. I won. The car stopped five feet away from a large Florida pine that seemed to spring up from nowhere. Breath returned to my chest with a whoosh as I panted and gasped, feeling at once relieved and exhilarated. I wiped an arm under my nose, my sleeve coming away bloody. “Damn.” The word left me with a laugh. “That was close.” My mind worked a mile a minute, slowly letting reality creep back in. My reasons for being out here, for needing the speed. Dad. College.

Needing something to do, I rummaged around, finding a napkin. Tearing it in two, I stuck an end up each nostril to staunch the bleeding. I turned the keys, only eliciting a loud coughing sound. “Dammit.” Stepping out of the car, I was careful not to touch the burning hood. It smoked slightly. Looking around, I was glad to see I hadn't gone too far off the road. Just as I started to get my bearings, a pair of headlights moved closer, all but blinding me in the process. “You okay?” A man's voice yelled. He cut the lights and I saw him get out of his truck. He was solidly built, walking with the confidence of someone in authority. “I think so,” I finally answered. The man looked back towards his truck and it was the first time I noticed he wasn't alone. A girl sat in the passenger seat, but I couldn't make out her face. “You need a ride somewhere?” he asked. “Uh …” I looked at him skeptically, holding out my phone. “I can call my buddy.” “Oh,” the man laughed suddenly. “Guess I should introduce myself. Logan Andrews.” He held his hand out for me to shake. I took it, but still didn't get it. “You know my sister Amelia.” He gestured up to the truck. I swallowed hard, narrowing my eyes. “We saw you veer off the road,” he explained. “She thought we should help.” “What? Help you hide my body?” “Come on.” Logan clapped me on the shoulder. “I have a buddy who can come tow your car.” He made it nearly impossible to refuse his offer and before I knew it, I was in the backseat of Logan's truck. Amelia turned in her seat to look at me. “Jamie Daniels, you sir are an idiot.” I jerked my head up to look at her and she continued. “We saw how fast you were going. Dixon road is no joke.” I leaned back, crossing my arms and looking away. “Give it a rest, Amelia.” “No,” she stated. “We just helped your ass, so I have a right to say a few things to you.” “And I have a right not to listen.” “You're infuriating.” She turned to her brother. “Let's go to Jessie's.” “Take me home.” “No.” We stared at each other for a long moment before I couldn't take it anymore. Jessie's was a coffee shop nearby. It was fairly quiet when we got there. Amelia ordered me to a booth in the back and I had no choice so I obeyed. She sat across from me with Logan beside her. After ordering our drinks, she fixed me with a stare that didn't seem much like the girl I'd known. Had we really known each other at all? “Tell me,” she said simply. And I did. I didn't mention my dad other than his disappointment in me, but I found myself telling them about the colleges I'd applied to and been rejected. It felt good to talk to people who had no expectations of me, no hopes. Amelia was easy to talk to and I suddenly found myself wondering why we'd never done much of it back when we were together. Callie. That was why. I never put much effort into my relationship with Amelia because she wasn't the one I'd wanted to be with. “Why do you want to go to college?” she asked once I was finished. That was something I'd been asking myself since I'd applied. To make my family proud? To have some direction? Was it enough? I shrugged, occupying myself by taking a long sip of coffee.

“Have you thought about doing something else?” Logan spoke for the first time since we'd sat down. Again, I shrugged. “I'm technically going to college,” Amelia started. “But not your typical school. Air Force Academy all the way.” “Wait, really?” I looked at her in shock. “Shows how much you paid attention,” she said with a hint of scorn. “I've been working towards it for years.” “Yeah,” Logan jumped in. “Because she's a traitor.” “Y'all just need to get over it,” she responded with a laugh before turning to explain to me. “We're an army family. Three uncles, two cousins, and this big lug here.” “I'm home on leave, but I head back to base in a few days.” A sudden interest struck me and I found myself leaning forward. “Are you glad you joined up?” Logan's face brightened. “Best damn decision I ever made. Before, I didn't know anything. I was always getting in trouble. There's something about fighting for something bigger than ourselves that lets us figure out who we really are. It changed my life. Let me prove to people that I was more than the person I'd been.” His words cemented themselves in my brain and I knew without a doubt that they weren't ones I'd forget any time soon.

Chapter Thirty-Six Callie: What did I like to do? What was I good at? Those were the questions the visiting speaker had for us in Creative Writing. Mr. Chase brought in a woman who was supposed to help us figure out what we might want to do in life. Surfing. That's the only thing I came up with and she looked at me like I was a little nuts. Yes, I knew I wasn't going to surf for a career. I wasn't good enough to be a professional. I liked to write - something I'd found out first semester and kept doing when I had the time. I was even kind of good at it. Once again - not exactly a legit career choice. She'd asked if I knew how many writers never made it. Plus, there was the whole college thing to consider. I wasn't going. After that, I came up blank. Beside me, Morgan was chattering away about all the things she could see herself doing. I stuck my hand in my backpack, running my fingertips over the now familiar picture. That was what I wanted. The last month of senior year was a little pointless. There were no exams to prepare for. No homework to be done. Our senior projects were turned in last week. It was just a whole lot of waiting. That's why I had no problem with leaving after my first class. Okay, it wasn't like I'd had issues with it before, but now it felt different. I didn't text Jamie to ditch with me. No, today I had a mission. It'd been over a month since Colby and I found the picture. I wanted answers. The diner was now closed on Mondays so I hoped I'd find Kat at home. She looked up from her coffee when I pulled open the door. “Hi, sweetie, what are you doing home?” I marched towards the table and slapped the picture down. It took a moment for the image to register with her. “Where did you find this?” She lifted it gingerly to get a better look. I didn't answer her question. “That's our dad, isn't it?” “Yes.” Thickness clouded her voice. “That's Asher.” “Asher?” I demanded. “Then who the hell is E?” I turned the picture over to show her the writing on the back. She sighed. “There's so much you don't know.” “And who's fault is that?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Yours and mom's.” “Don't you dare blame this on her.” “She never told us anything.” “You were a kid when she died,” Kat yelled. Squeezing her eyes shut, she sighed. “You're still a kid.” Opening her eyes, she stared at me in sadness. “If I tell you, you're going to go. I know you, Cal. And your mom didn't want you in that life.” “Go where? What life?” “California.” She stood up slowly. “Come on.” I followed her into her room. She stepped into her closet, returning a moment later with a small box.

Setting it on the bed, she gestured for me to take a seat. “Callie, you have to promise me you won't judge your mom too harshly.” “Why?” “Promise me.” “It won't make me stop loving her if that's what you mean.” She sighed. “I guess that'll have to be good enough.” She lifted the lid off the box and took out a stack of news clippings and pictures. Sliding the first one across to me, she said, “To start, this was your mom.” The headline read Emma Bay Lands the Role of a Lifetime. “Emma Bay?” I ask, my heart pounding in my ears as I recognize the young girl in the picture. “That was her Hollywood name.” Kat sat next to me. “I was so proud when she was cast in her first role. I told everyone my sister was going to be a big star.” “Was she?” A tear leaked from the corner of her eye as she nodded. I picked up the next few press clippings, each about a girl named Emma Bay who was the darling of Hollywood. My mom? A movie star? “She met Asher Hendrick during a movie when she was playing a surf whiz. Her favorite kind of role.” Asher Hendrick. A name for the face. A niggling sense of recognition bit at me. “Asher was the son of a studio owner.” “Wait a second,” I stopped her, my head spinning. “The Asher Hendrick. Hendrick's productions. Everyone knows him.” Kat nodded, watching me warily. “That's him. Cal, I need to get this story out before my better judgment stops me.” “No more interruptions. Got it.” “Asher was wild. Irresponsible. And your mother loved him completely. He took her down a dark path that is so easy to find in that town. The drinking. The drugs. Then one night they were out at a club. A man was quite aggressive with your mom. Asher was the jealous type, the angry type.” “The fight didn't last long because Asher was on something, crazed. The man almost died and Asher was arrested.” “Oh my God,” I said. Kat continued. “Asher's father was a dangerous man. He controlled much of what went on in that town, but this was something he couldn't fix. Asher only got a few months, but his father blamed your mom, the great Emma Bay. He started working against her to ruin her career, spreading nasty things around Hollywood and putting pressure on the studios who were producing her current movies. She was a determined woman and took everything he threw at her. Then he tried to force her out another way; to scare her, make her run.” “So, he had his thugs show up at her place, smashing a window to break in. They held her at gunpoint. It worked. Emma Bay disappeared from Hollywood and Allison McCoy showed back up in Gulf City, a new look, old name, and newly pregnant.” “When Asher got out of prison a few months later, he tried to use the media to find her, but she was gone.” She grew quiet. I blew out a long breath, trying to calm myself as I watched the tears roll freely down Kat's face. Had I even known my mother at all? She was this whole other person that had nothing to do with Allison McCoy. “So, he didn't even know we existed? She didn't tell him? You didn't?” “Oh, honey.” Kat pulled me into a hug. “It was your mother's wish. That was a life she didn't want

you anywhere near. She loved him desperately, but she loved you more.” I sat up, rubbing at my eyes furiously. “He doesn't know.” I was repeating myself, but it was the only thing I could think of to say as everything I thought I knew about my life was put into question. He hadn't left us. Then I thought of the phone conversation I'd overheard. “If he didn't know about us, then who is sending us money?” She smiled sadly. “Your mother left quite a bit for you in a trust. I've had to use some of it over the years to pay the bills, but wanted to leave it there for you when you needed it. It's been her taking care of us all along. I was going to tell you all of this after graduation.” “How am I supposed to believe that?” I asked. “You should've told us before now.” She hung her head. “I know.” I climbed to my feet. “I love you Kat, but I don't know if I trust a thing you say right now. You or mom.” With that, I slammed her door behind me, ran outside and started walking with no set destination in mind. * * * I wandered the beach for hours, staring out at the calm waters that didn't even have the decency to rise up to meet my mood. What was my mood? I didn't know how to feel, how to act, what to think. It was all too much. Clenching my fists at my sides, I kicked at the sand, the toe of my shoe flinging it wide. The grains caught in the wind, some blowing back on me but others scattering. How was there wind, but no waves? It didn't make any freaking sense. My mind tried to grab onto those unimportant threads, but they slipped through, dragging my focus back to the subject I wanted to avoid. Lowering myself to the sand, I pulled out the news clipping I'd taken from Kat's room. Mom couldn't have been more than a few years older than me and Colby. She looked … different. Her hair was bleached blond, hanging over her shoulders in perfectly styled waves. It was a far cry from the honey pixie cut I'd known her with. Her eyes in the picture were blue instead of amber. It had to be contacts. Was any of it real? What if it was? That'd mean the woman I'd known was the impostor. My arms jerked forward, ripping the clipping in half, then ripping it again. I threw the pieces before burying my face in my arms. Someone bent down to pick up the pieces, defeated eyes looking up to meet mine. I choked on a sob as my brother sat beside me. We'd both lost mom when we were young, both grown up without a father, but we hadn't gone through it together. Not really. This time it was different. It had to be. I didn't think I could do it on my own. Colby shoved the pieces of the newly revealed secret in his pocket and sat beside me. “Kat told you.” I said, more as a statement of fact than a question. “Right when I got home from school,” he said. “At least we know.” He slung his arm over my shoulders and I was twelve years old again. “I think I'd rather be kept in the dark.” “Me too.” Neither of us wanted to talk about it. Our mom. Our dad. Secrets. So, we didn't say anything more at

all. Since the shooting, we'd known anything could happen. Our lives could be turned upside down. Here we were, living proof of that. And we'd get through it. We always did. I leaned my head on my twin brother's shoulder, knowing that this secret was going to take me away from everything and everyone I loved. Maybe mom had known that to. Maybe she just wanted me to be ready.

Chapter Thirty-Seven Jamie: I found Callie sitting on my front porch. The parents were in Tallahassee for the week so they weren't around to bother us. But something was bothering Callie. I could tell. I could always tell. “Hey there.” I tried to smile, the corners of my lips being pulled down by the weight of secrets. She had mercy on me though as she stood and brought her lips to mine. I kissed her like it could be the last time, breathing in her sweet perfume, burning every moment into memory. I'd been in love with Callie as long as I could remember, but it had never been as powerful as it was in that moment, when I knew I'd have to let go. She drew back, wrapping her arms around herself for protection. High school was coming to an end and we both knew what that could mean. Her eyes held an uncertain glaze, before they sharpened into a look I knew only too well. It was wholly Callie. “My mom was a movie star,” she blurted, her chest heaving with a sudden laugh. “That's a weird way to break the tension.” I laughed with her. “No, I'm serious.” And then she told me the most incredulous story I'd ever heard. If I didn't know the girl telling it to me, I wouldn't have believed it. She held out a picture that'd been cut from a newspaper. The woman in it had Callie's eyes - sharp, eyes that saw everything but also held a softness around the edges. Her mom ran from stardom while pregnant with two babies. It had the makings of some ridiculous movie that threw believability right out the window. “I don't know what to say.” I handed her back the picture and ran a hand through my hair, trying to recall what I remembered of her mom. She was a great cook and an even better surfer. Kind. A mother to me. “How did people in this town not know who was living here?” I asked. “That's just it. They didn't know Allison McCoy was a movie star. Allison was said to be living in Europe until she came home pregnant.” “Someone had to have known.” Callie shrugged. “Jamie, I'm going.” “What?” “Maybe just for the summer. Hell, maybe I'll get there and come right on back. But I need to meet him. My dad.” “You should.” It'd make my news easier for her if she had a plan, but it didn't mean it was easier for me. I knew her - knew that she'd stay in California until her father gave her exactly what she wanted, the answers she needed. She wouldn't come back without them and now I wouldn't be here when she did. “I want you to come.” She grabbed my hand. “I don't want to do it without you and you don't have any plans this summer, right? Kat has a buyer for the diner and I can use my money from the sale and my mom left me some money too. It's all planned.” She was rambling in excitement. I sucked in a breath, willing myself to get it over with. Rip off the band-aid, spilling my guts forth.

“I can't,” I finally cut her off. “Wait, what?” “I just signed the papers today.” “Could you be any more vague?” “The army.” She stopped talking then, slowing removing her hand from mine. The world seemed to tilt as I waited for her response. My stomach churned in anticipation. Emotions flitted across her face. Shock. Anger. And lastly hurt. Deep, deep hurt. The pain in her eyes nearly killed me. “Callie,” I croaked, reaching for her. She stepped back, shaking her head. “Explain, please,” she said, her voice small. Sticking my hands deep in the pockets of my jeans, I shifted from foot to foot. “I'll try. My entire life, I've been the screw up.” When she looked up sharply, I continued, my voice less sure than before. “It's okay. It was my fault. But I don't want to be that person anymore. College isn't for me and it took me a long time to see that. I need to be a part of something. I need to get away from this town and this life.” “Away from me,” she whispered. “God no. Callie, I love you.” She shook her head as if to clear it. “I leave for boot-camp the day after graduation.” Her lip quivered. “Okay.” Louder this time. “Okay.” She walked down the steps before turning back to me. “I'm happy for you, Jamie. You may not believe that, but if this is truly what you want then I want it for you. I just … I don't think I can be with you every day knowing I have to say goodbye in a couple weeks. I think it's best if we start preparing for our separate futures now.” My throat clogged with tears as her words sunk in. “Callie, come on. We still have time.” Not enough. I'd do anything to keep her in my life, but the impossibility of the situation washed over me, choking me with despair. I looked into her glassy eyes, seeing she'd made up her mind. “That's just it, Jamie. Nothing lasts forever. There's never enough time. And sometimes you have to let go.” She turned and ran down the rest of the driveway, jumping into Colby's car and speeding off, leaving me standing alone on the porch as the sun sank down around me. “Ahhhh.” Slamming my fist into the wall by the door, it connected to the concrete in a burst of pain that seared up my arm. I punched the house again, leaving a smear of blood from my knuckles in my wake. Hand throbbing, I curled it in close to my chest and slumped down onto the swinging bench. Back and forth I swung, like a pendulum that never stopped. Predictable. A ride you could never escape. Sticking my foot out, I planted it on the floor to stop the movement as tears ran down my face. No shame. I was getting off this ride. Now the only question stood - would it mean anything without Callie? If I made something of a life that didn't have her in it … We could, Cal. We could last forever. But she was right. We were out of time.

Chapter Thirty-Eight Callie: “Oh, honey,” Morgan said, wrapping her arm around me. I sat on the end of her bed, unable to join in the excitement of graduation. I was heartbroken because of Jamie and nervous because of my dad. This wasn't how I was supposed to feel days before such a big event. I cried on Morgan's shoulder for what must have been the hundredth time over the past couple weeks. “I never thought I'd be one to cry over high school being finished.” I laughed softly, wiping at my eyes. Morgan snorted. “You were such a loser before you knew me.” “Hey.” I pinched her side, eliciting a yelp that turned quickly into a giggle. “Just trying to make you laugh, sweetheart.” Patting the top of my head, she stood and walked into her closet, still searching for the perfect graduation outfit. “Morgan, you do know we'll have gowns covering our clothes.” I leveled her with a look. “No one will know what we're wearing.” “But I'll know.” She gave me her best duh stare and spun around so her back was to me. “Mom and dad have bought me so many things for my trip that I didn't want to ask them for something for graduation.” There was a softness in her voice that was always reserved for her family; a sadness. And then it was gone in the most Morgan like fashion. She was back to her old self, only a slight dimming of her eyes betraying her loss. It was familiar because we all had it, a taint to our emotions. Hesitation to our joy. Guilt to our sadness. Regret to our nostalgia. “Honestly, Cal,” Morgan said, spinning around with a printed black dress in her grasp. “This has been the worst year of my life. But it's also been the best. Being friends with you guys has …” Clearing her throat, she held up the dress. “How about this one?” “Really?” I said. “Black?” She looked at it as if seeing the color for the first time. Shaking her head in surprise, she put it back. “Habit.” I don't know if she meant that to be heard, so I didn't respond. The next dress she chose was an off the shoulder powder blue semi. I smiled. “Perfect. Very you.” It'd look great with her crystal blue eyes and blond hair. “Now you.” She grinned, pointed one long, manicured finger my way. “Nuh uh.” My braid slapped against my shoulder as I swung my head from side to side. “You're right.” She tapped her finger against her chin. “It's graduation. You should wear something that's screams you.” I laughed. “Well, that'd be a wet-suit.” Her smile widened. “No.” I stood. “I can't wear a wet-suit to my high school graduation.” “You said yourself that no one would know. Come on. I need some entertainment.” “Okay, the Morgan I know would never let me go to a ceremony looking anything but my best.” For just a second, it was like the shades lifted from her eyes and the shine was back. It was so short,

I thought I imagined it. She pursed her lips. “Maybe I've learned that you only look your best when you look like you.” Putting a hand on each shoulder, she looked me in the eye. “I'm like a proud momma right now.” I would have laughed if she didn't look so damn serious. “We've been through a lot this year and changed quite a bit. You, my dear, have changed the most. I know you're scared, but the truth of the matter is that you don't need any of us. You never did. But we sure as hell needed you.” Winding my arms around her back, I pulled her into a hug, my chin barely reaching her shoulder. “I'm glad we're friends too, Morgan. Despite the fact that you're a total sap.” Morgan hiccupped a laugh and it was only then I realized she was crying. “I don't know what I'm going to do without you, Colby, and Jay around,” I said, leaving out the one person I still couldn't think about. “You're going to kick ass,” she said, pulling back. “That's what you're going to do.” * * * I didn't wear a wet-suit. It was May in Florida. There was no way I'd survive the ceremony in that, especially since it was outside. But I'd heard what Morgan said and looking like myself was important even if I was the only one who would see. My favorite pair of board shorts sat snug on my hips, the white and yellow pattern hanging to just above my knees. I wore a yellow bikini top and saw no reason to put a shirt over that. I slid my white robe on over my shoulders and bent to zip it from floor to neck. It hung like a bag, loose and boxy, but the silky fabric felt good on my skin. I left my hair loose on my shoulders, the sun highlights shifting with every movement. I'd just finished my make-up when Colby barged into my room and swept me up into his arms. “Colby,” I yelled, laughing. “Put me down.” “Yes, ma'am.” He threw me and I landed on the bed, still laughing and out of breath. “How do I look?” Colby spun, his robe fanning out as he did. His hair was slicked to the side. It was so stylish it almost made me laugh seeing it on my brother. He narrowed his eyes behind his glasses. “Just wonderful,” I said, stifling a giggle. “Why thank you.” He bowed elaborately. “You ready to go? Kat is in the living room with that camera she bought for the new photography job and is just dying to take a million unnecessary pictures.” I grabbed my purse and followed him out. Kat stood talking with Noah and someone else who's back I'd recognize anywhere. I sucked in a breath and Colby spoke in a low tone beside me. “I didn't want him having to go to the ceremony with his family.” He looked at me in apology. “No.” I patted his hand. “It's good that he's with us. This is his family.” I hadn't spoken to Jamie since that day on his front porch. The day we finally said what we should have known all along. We were heading in different directions. We had to do what we had to do. All of that would help if only my heart didn't jump whenever I saw him in the halls at school or when my brother mentioned his name. It'd be easier to accept if I didn't love him so stupidly much. Jamie turned, his gaze landing on me, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Hi,” I said, completely ignoring that we weren't the only ones in the room. “Hey.” His teeth flashed and I couldn't breathe. “Callie took so long we're going to be late,” Kat said. “Pictures afterwards.” “Surprise surprise,” Jamie laughed. “Callie making us late.” “For the record,” I grumbled, following them out the door. “I didn't take too long. I just didn't start

getting ready until the last minute.” “Yeah, that's not any better, sis.” Colby grinned over my head at Jamie and I could have punched the both of them. Colby, Jamie, and I said bye to Kat and Noah once we got to the school and walked across the football field to where our classmates were beginning to line up. “Callie.” Morgan sprinted towards us, her gown flapping at her legs. She hugged me roughly and then turned to do the same to the boys. We found our spots in line moments before it started moving. As far as ceremonies go, it wasn't half bad. But nothing compared to when Morgan got up to do her speech. Along with the valedictorian, we had a class elected speaker and we'd wanted Morgan. A cheer rose up - much louder than for the valedictorian I noticed - and Morgan raised a hand, grinning. “Guys,” she started. “Our parents are watching. We're not a bunch of hooligans. Save the shenanigans for the parties tonight.” A laugh wound through her captive audience. “But seriously, this year has been full of a lot of crap.” I laughed again. The faculty didn't know what they were getting with her. They didn't know why everyone loved her so much. “School was hard. Damn hard.” She leaned in to the microphone. “But the parties were fun.” She paused to get serious again. “We got shot. Some of us literally.” She gestured to her shoulder. Silence followed. “We had an intruder in our school. OUR SCHOOL. One of us, but an intruder all the same. A lot was taken from us.” She looked towards her parents in the stands. “I'm not just talking about a canceled prom or even my brother, as much as that loss hurt us. It's unexplainable, but every single one of you knows exactly what I mean.” She pointed towards us, pausing to take a breath. “We're still standing. Evil didn't win. We are strong. We are fierce. This class, OUR class, will be remembered for not giving up. For not turning on each other. For not being afraid. That's what we take with us from this place. Yeah, the knowledge will be useful, the memories fond, but our resiliency is priceless. Shit happens. Are you going to bury yourself in it or shovel it?” I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing and I wasn't the only one. “What does that last part even mean?” I whispered to Colby. “Did she seriously just say 'shit happens' in her commencement speech?” he responded. Morgan had a shit eating grin - oh the irony - on her face as she walked back to her seat. The principle walked forward, rubbing a hand over his face and stuttered through a short speech before beginning to call our names. Kat met us on the other side of the field when it was over, a big smile on her face. She cupped my cheek before wrapping her arms around me. “Your mom would be so proud.” Her other arm snaked out and snagged Colby to join our hug. “Of both of you.” She released us and pulled out her camera. Jamie joined us for a few pictures before wandering off. I was standing on my own, my mind lost in memories of the past year when someone stepped up beside me, resting his forearm on my shoulder. “I'll bet it feels good to be so accomplished Ms. McCoy.” The British accent was fake and I grinned. “Yes.” I did my best Emma Watson. “In the grand scheme of things, Mr. Daniels, high school is quite the achievement. There are only billions of us graduates.” “Billions, you say? However did you join such an exclusive group?” “Oh, it's all very difficult.” I looked down at my nails. “I showed up.” Jay snorted, wrapping his arm around me. “I'm gonna miss you, kid.” “You do realize that calling me a kid makes you a bit of a pedo.” I looked up at him to catch the twitch of his lips. “This time last year we were just starting our torrid summer affair.”

“That's what the kids are calling it these days?” I chuckled. He laughed softly until it died out. “And now you're leaving.” “I'll be back,” I said. “Is that a promise?” “There's no way I'm actually going to stay in L.A. I give it a few months. If he wants to see me that is.” “He will.” He looked down at me, getting serious. “How are you with the whole Jamie thing?” I lifted my shoulders, dropping them immediately. “It hurts, Jay.” He pulled me in tighter against his side acting as a balm for the burn. My best friend. I breathed in slowly, releasing it in one puff. “Maybe it's just not meant to be. I think it'll be okay.” “A few of us are skipping the parties tonight,” he said finally. “Sounds perfect.” * * * By a few of us, Jay had meant our group. When we got to the beach, Morgan, Colby, Parker, and Jamie were all there. A somber mood hung in the air, a smoke clogging our lungs. This was it. Jamie left tomorrow. I was gone the day after that. Morgan and Parker were on a plane in two weeks. Only Colby and Jay were sticking around for the summer. Morgan grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the water. I'd taken off the robe in the car and was thankful to be in my board-shorts and bathing suit. Kicking off my sandals, I dug my toes in the sand as the tide rose up, washing over my feet, pulling the sand out from beneath me and letting me sink further in. It was one of my favorite feelings, like I was becoming one with the beach. A small, almost opaque crab walked past my ankles, paying me no heed. Morgan, still in her dress, didn't seem to care that the water splashed up to catch the hem. A carefree laugh bubbled out of her chest as she swung our arms between us. I looked sideways at her, pulling my lips to the side. My feet came free like suction cups, protesting the movement. I broke Morgan's hold on my fingers, turning towards her and kicking the water as it came near us. She shrieked and ran, circling back around to shove me further out towards the water. I laughed and dug my feet in, catching Parker's eye as she walked up behind her sister. She grabbed her legs and I took her arms as Morgan squirmed and screeched, trying to free herself. We walked as fast as we could, swinging her out in an arc and letting go. “I'm gonna -” Her words were drowned as she went under and came up sputtering and laughing. She sprinted back towards us. Colby blocked her, picked her back up, and ran into the water in his clothes. Jay wasn't far behind and Parker dove in. I stood there watching them, feeling rather than seeing Jamie's presence beside me. “Still sure you have to leave?” I asked, gesturing to our friends. “I wouldn't have a choice now,” he answered. “But yes. I'm sure.” “Good.” “Are you?” “It's the only thing I am sure of.” It was only then that I realized he'd been staring at me and I took the chance his silence gave me to escape to the water, plastering on a smile, determined to make this night a happy one. After a while, we all left to change and get the supplies for our final bonfire. The one none of us would forget.

The light was already fading by the time we got back. Colby and I were first. He was basically a professional, always the one we relied on to get these things started. In no time, he had a small fire going. “What's taking them so long?” I looked back towards the parking lot. “Jay got us a permit for this, right?” Colby asked, always one to play by the rules. “Of course.” I spread out a blanket and sat down, watching Colby worry over the fire and just about everything else. It was such a familiar sight that I laughed. “What's so funny?” he asked. “You.” I leaned back on my elbows with another laugh. He flashed me a grin, taking a seat beside me. “I can't believe you're leaving.” “Aw, brother.” I grabbed his arm. “Are you actually saying you'll miss me?” He leaned back next to me. “Can I tell you a secret?” he asked. “I will.” “You could come with me, you know.” “You might be ready for this, Cal, but I'm not.” Leaning my head on his shoulders. “Before this year, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to miss you too.” A car door slammed and Morgan came into view with Jay and Jamie not far behind. She glanced at the fledgling fire, then at us and grinned. “Well, this is how we started the year. Only fitting we end it like this as well.” * * * Jamie wasn't playing his guitar anymore, but the music was stuck in my head as I walked around the point of rocks, out of sight of the rest of the group. I couldn't take the goodbyes any longer. It wasn't only my friends, it was this place. I'd always felt like Gulf City wasn't where I was meant to be, but this beach was. L.A. had beaches and many many more waves to catch, but would I feel the same way about it? Would I still feel close to my mom? I knew now that she'd spent a part of her life there as well. California. Had she named me after the place or the people she'd left there? My entire life, I thought I represented a failed dream, my name weighed down with regret. Looking out towards the darkened sea, I saw the truth reflected back at me. I was, I am, I will always be California. My mom's California. “You look happy.” Jamie's voice made me jump and I clutched my chest. “Don't do that,” I gasped. “I saw you disappear around the corner.” He stepped towards me. “I had to make sure you were okay.” I turned to him, feeling my way in the dark, and touched his cheek lightly. “Thanks.” His features were hidden from me, but my awareness of him was heightened. He breathed loudly. “What time do you leave tomorrow?” I took a step back, needing space. “I don't want to talk about leaving. Not tonight.” “Then what do you want?” The air around us was charged, preparing for lightning to strike. “Callie,” Jamie whispered, his voice pained. He moved quickly, bending to capture my lips with his and for the first time in weeks, I could breathe. Winding my arms around his neck, I pushed closer, shivering as his hands rubbed up and down

my sides. His tongue parted my lips, seeking the same thing I'd been looking for. To feel whole. He could swallow me, devour me, and I wouldn't care. All I wanted in that moment was him. Nothing else mattered. I played with the hair at the base of his head and he growled into my mouth before pulling back. “Callie,” he whispered. “California. I love you so much it's killing me.” My voice shook as I tried to speak. “Show me.” “What?” “Show me how much you love me. Give me something to remember.” It was a line we'd never crossed before, him being much more experienced than me, but I suddenly wanted it to be him. Only him. Jamie hesitated, weighing his next actions. After a tense moment, he pulled off his shirt, laying it on the sand. “Come here.” He held his hand out to me and I took it as he pulled me down. I ran my hands up his chest like I'd done a million times before, before tugging off my shirt and kissing him like it was the last thing I'd ever do. When my hands started fumbling with the button on his jeans, he stopped me. “Hey.” His voice calmed me with a single word. “Slow is good.” He dropped small kisses on my stomach, making his way up towards my neck in an agonizingly slow assault. I moaned as his tongue made circles on my burning skin. “Too slow,” I panted, pushing him up so I could shimmy out of my pants. His chuckle was cut off as he stared at me, pupils dilating. “You're beautiful.” His fingertips grazed my bare skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Are you sure about this?” “Jamie, we can't give each other anything else. But we can give this moment. We can give goodbye.” My voice thickened on the last word and he pulled me down again, cutting off any tears that might have come. Jamie made love to me under the stars with the ocean roaring in the background. It was perfect. And it was the end. When we were done, I laid with my head on his chest, listening to the steady pounding of his heart. Tears dripped down my face onto his skin. “I'm sorry.” I sat up quickly and turned away from him. “I don't mean to cry.” His hand came up to rub my back as he sat up behind me. “California, look at me.” I did as he asked, wiping at my face as I turned. “Don't try to make me feel better, Jamie. I don't want to be okay. I don't want to get over you.” He cupped my cheek. “I love you.” His back shook slightly and it was only then that I realized he was crying too. “I'm scared.” “Your dad is going to love you.” “Not about that.” I sucked in a shaky breath. “You're joining the army. What if …” A sob escaped. “What if something happens to you.” “I'll be okay.” “You don't know that.” I paused to calm myself. “Can you make me a promise?” “Anything.” “No matter what's going on in our lives, I need to know that you're okay. Promise me that you'll always stay in touch.” He wiped the tears from his face. “Is that all our future holds? Staying in touch?” I reached for my clothes and quickly pulled them on. “I hope the army helps you find what you're

looking for, Jamie. I really do.” I got to my feet, brushing sand from my clothes. Looking down at him one more time, I shook my head and started walking back to meet Colby to head home. In one simple act, the boy I loved with everything I had became a part of my past, disappearing from both my present and future.

Chapter Thirty-Nine Jamie: I stuffed the final shirt into my bag roughly and shoved it off my bed. It landed on the floor with a definitive thud. Eight hours and forty-seven minutes. That was how long it'd been since I'd said goodbye to Callie and to Colby, the only true family I'd ever known. I sat on the edge of my bed and leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees. My breaths came in heavy rasps. I can do this. Despite what I told everyone, I was scared shitless. Only two hours to go before I was on my own. But I'd never really be on my own. Amelia's brother told me I had the army now. They would be my family. It was hard to see that when it hurt so much. Leaving Gulf city was easy. Getting free of my father and even leaving my brother were simple things. I'd promised Callie to stay in touch, but what if that wasn't enough? What if I just couldn't do it? What if I just became as big a disappointment to the army as I was to everyone else? No, that was my father speaking. For the first time in my life, I actually felt like this was something I could do and I could do it well. I'd prove him wrong if it was the last thing I did. I stood then and picked up my bag to put in back on the bed before grabbing my guitar and sitting back down. I'd only managed to strum out a few chords before the front door downstairs slammed shut. Heavy steps sounded on the stairs and I waited. Over the years, I'd memorized the sounds in this house so I could always know what was coming. Jay's steps were always quick – one two, one two, one two. His mom's were like little flutters, barely audible. Dad's, his were different. They had a sense of finality to them, a stern authority. His steps grew louder until he pushed open the door to my room without knocking. I leaned back against the wall, barely acknowledging the intrusion. My fingers picked at the strings, playing a simple tune. “James,” my father said. “Stand up. I've come to say goodbye.” That made my fingers freeze. I finally looked up and set the guitar on the bed in front of me before rising to meet him. “Thought you'd be more of the 'good riddance' kind.” I tried to crack a smile, but it fell quickly. “You're joining the army, son.” “I know. I was there when I signed the papers.” He scowled. “It's a proud organization. You will not mess up.” “Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence.” If I was going to mouth off, I should have been ready for him, but my mind wasn't in it. His hand shot out quickly and he grabbed me by the shirt to pull me close. His strong cologne filled my nostrils and I resisted the urge to cough. “You will not embarrass the Daniels name.” “No, you already do that enough.” I'd never said anything like that to him before and it emboldened me. “You think that you have power because you can beat on your eighteen-year-old son? You think that makes you more of a man? I think it makes you a coward.” I grabbed his arm when he tried to swing at me and slammed my other fist into his chin. He released me and stumbled back in shock. I didn't waste any time hefting my bag over my shoulder

and pushing past my still speechless father. I looked back at him once more. “You will never touch me again, you arrogant bastard.” Getting into my car, I glanced up at the house that was home to so many memories, most of them bad. In that moment, I knew. I wouldn't be back as long as that man was still here. Gulf City was no longer my home. It was time I found a place that was. I would always love Callie, but she was leaving too. As I left the city limits behind, I wasn't sad any longer. I was free.

Chapter Forty Callie: The house was hidden behind a tall hedge fence and a long driveway. I looked down at the address Kat had given me, then back up at the number on the fence. Yep, that was it. It was my third day in Beverly Hills and not the first time I'd stood in this very spot, trying to work up the nerve. Beverly Hills was a different world from Gulf City - in a good way. There was so much going on it made my head spin. Yesterday I'd gone to the beach and watched the surfers. They were good, some of them impressive. And the waves! I was itching to get out there. I never dreamed I'd get to surf in California, not this small-town Florida girl. I was the girl who was supposed to be stuck in that place. That was who I'd always assumed I'd be. Now, here I was, doing things my way. A smile formed on my lips as a shot of confidence jolted through me and my legs moved forward. The driveway was endless, but it eventually led me to a large, white, modern house with a glass front door. A white shade was drawn down, preventing me from getting a peek inside. There were two expensive looking cars in the driveway. Colby would've been able to tell me what kind they were. The sudden thought made me wish my brother was there with me. I raised my hand to knock, but the door swung open before I got the chance. A startled older woman stared back at me. “Ummm …” I said. “I might have the wrong house.” Footsteps came up the walkway behind me, trapping me between them and the woman at the door. I looked back over my shoulder into the pale face of a man I recognized at once. My throat closed up, preventing me from breaking the tense silence. He looked at me curiously. I thought I saw a hint of recognition on his face, but that was probably just wishful thinking. He didn't even know I existed. There was a younger man with him, who was looking around in confusion. He pushed his long dark hair behind his ears and fixed beautiful emerald eyes on me. “Hello there.” His Australian accent snapped me out of my stupor and I turned my gaze to him. “I don't know what is going on, but this is awkward. So, since boss-man here has forgotten his manners, allow me to introduce myself.” He held out his hand and I placed mine in it, jumping when he kissed it. “The name is Dylan. I'm one of Mr. Hendrick's technical advisers.” He looked towards his boss. “Okay, I'm a surf double, but working my way into the production side of things.” I took my hand back. “My name is California McCoy and my mother was Emma Bay.” I hadn't meant to just blurt it out, but couldn't keep it in any longer. Dylan's mouth hung open in shock. “Rack off. Emma Bay. Wasn't she the one who …” One look at the man beside him shut him up. My dad - for lack of a better name - looked lost, but the woman put a hand on my shoulder. “Let the child speak,” she said, a gleam in her eye. “You were about to tell us that you're my granddaughter, I believe.” She took my arm, leading me into the house with the two men following. Explanation escaped me. “How?” I asked.

“I knew your mother was pregnant when she left.” That confession finally got my father's attention. He turned hard eyes on his mother who held up her hands in surrender. “I couldn't have your father finding out,” she explained. “It was better for the child this way and for that sweet sweet Emma.” At her name, my father sunk into the couch, burying his face in his hands. I watched the man who'd fathered me. His mouth opened to speak and then shut again. The house seemed even bigger on the inside. High ceilings enlarged the rooms. A glass staircase stood on the other end near a fireplace covered in marble. I turned when I realized the woman was speaking. “I'm your grandmother Laura,” she said. “My son seems to have forgotten how to use the English language, but finding out about a daughter will do that to you.” “And a son,” I said quietly, looking down at my hands. “I have a twin brother.” She smiled. “I have wanted grandchildren for a very long time. You know, I used to imagine meeting you. I was very fond of your mother.” “Your mother.” My father finally looked up, his eyes red. “Did she send you?” Tears came to my eyes, unwelcome, and I shook my head. “Mom died six years ago. Our aunt Kat has been taking care of us.” His shoulders dropped and the look that crossed his face nearly broke me in two. I couldn't take it any longer. The breath wheezed from my lungs as the tension squeezed all life from the room. “I'm sorry,” I whispered. “This was a mistake.” Tears streamed freely down my face as I bolted towards the door. I don't know what I'd been searching for, but it wasn't this. I didn't want to bring the anguish of my mother's death onto anyone else. That was my burden. It belonged to me and my brother, not this man I didn't know. I was out the door before Dylan caught up with me. “You can't just go.” I wiped an arm across my face. “What do you want from me?” “You obviously came here for a reason.” He grasped my arm, refusing to let me go. “Your … dad,” he paused, “is a good man. He's in a bit of shock right now. You have to cut him some slack.” “I know.” I hid my face in my hands. “I just …” A sob escaped me and Dylan wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Come back inside.” I had no more fight left in me as he led me back up the steps to where Laura was standing. She took me in her arms. “It's okay, sweetheart. You're with family. You can cry.” The dam broke and everything I'd felt about my father over the years poured out in a torrent of tears. He hadn't abandoned us. He hadn't left mom. Even now, I saw it in his tear stained face – he'd loved her. He still did. I fingered the locket resting against my chest; the one Kat gave me for my birthday. Before I left, Kat told me that mom always planned on me finding out the truth when I was old enough. She knew I'd come. She wanted me to. I turned towards the living room once again where my father now stood, his tear stained cheeks matching mine. In this, we were together. “California,” he said, his hands gripping each other tightly in front of him. “You look just like her.” I smiled at the best compliment he could have given me even as my eyes welled up again. He looked to his mother helplessly. “Please don't cry again.” “I don't know what I'm supposed to say,” I admitted. “I only planned the 'I'm your daughter part'.” Dylan cleared his throat. “So, I take it we aren't surfing this afternoon?” My father looked at him, then turned to me, a nervous twitch on his lips. “Do you surf?”

I grinned, wiping away the remaining tears. “Of course.” I met his eyes. “As you say, I am my mother's daughter.” He laughed then, breaking all remaining tension and clapped his hands together, his face lit up with joy. “To the beach?” Dylan asked. “To the beach,” my dad responded, looking my way. I nodded, knowing this was a language we both spoke. Surfing. It was a start. “Let's go.”

Chapter Forty-One Jamie: 10 years later I never thought I'd be back in Gulf City. That first year gone, all I'd wanted was to come back and regain what I'd lost. My friends. My girl. Then I got used to being away. It became easier with each passing day, until it lost its power over me. I became a part of a new family. Had new friends. Even a new girl. My platoon. They were the ones I wanted to be with now, but they were back on base in Georgia and I was here. I didn't want to be here, but I had no choice. There was a funeral and no matter how I felt about it, this was where I was supposed to be. The church was packed with mourners, but I paid little attention to any of them. They didn't recognize me. They wouldn't. My scraggly blond hair was buzzed short. My lean frame had bulked up considerably. I wasn't the Jamie Daniels they knew. This new Jamie had seen things, done things, that changed a person. I kept my head up, catching the attention of quite a few people with my dress uniform, but managing not to be pulled to the front. I watched as my brother, looking just as he always had, sat in the front pew. His mother, having had a service in Washington D.C. wasn't there. Two people joined Jay and I recognized them at once. Colby, dressed in a stylish suit, was greeted by each person he saw. His face had grown leaner, losing the softness of youth. Callie stood beside him, standing tall in her elegant black dress. Her hair was different - dyed dark chocolate and sitting just above her shoulders in soft layers. Gone was the simple long braid. This version of Callie was older, more mature; mesmerizing. For the first time in ten years, the confidence I'd cultivated started to slip. She put her arm around my brother and I wanted nothing more than to feel her touch, see her smile. I slid out the back after the funeral, needing to drive around for a little while to regain control before I saw all of them. Control. It got me through my missions. I became a ranger because I wanted to do something big with my life. I was damn good at it. We ran into the situations everyone else ran from. How did Florida feel more like a mine field than that? He's dead, I told myself. My dad was gone. So why did the thought of him still make me feel so inadequate. I pulled to the side of the road in front of a house with too many memories and a street that was overflowing with cars. The place looked the same as it always had. That porch was the first place I'd ever gotten my heartbroken. My face had been broken by my father's fist in that entryway. Hell, pretty much every room held a memory like that. His anger has seeped into the walls themselves. I stood by the open door, watching the people who only knew the face my father put on, not the real man. A young boy was sitting on the bench by the door and I stopped, not quite ready to go in. “Hello,” I said, stalling the inevitable. He looked at me with wide eyes. “Are you a soldier?” I laughed, the sound seeming foreign in this place. “I am. What's your name?”

“Jackson,” he said, puffing out his chest. “You can call me Jacks. I'm nine.” “Well, hello Jacks, I'm Jamie and nine is a very good age.” “Jackson, your mother is looking for you” a familiar voice called, coming outside. Kat looked at me in astonishment. “Jamie Daniels.” A grin formed. “I didn't know you were coming.” I stood, giving her a hug. “No one did.” “Oh, this is gonna be good. None of them have talked to you in ten years. Boy, you have some explaining to do.” Her face softened. “It's so good to see you. I'll handle Jacks. You go on in.” I breathed deeply, pulling open the door. The place was packed, but as I walked through, only one person caught my eye. She was standing in the kitchen, putting out dishes of food with the help of a few other ladies from town. Grabbing a pot of coffee, she glanced up, letting out a yell as she dropped the pot to the floor. I rushed forward, crushing her to me. In my dreams, I'd held her so many times over the last decade. But now, here, this was real and for the first time, I knew coming home was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. Callie sucked in a shaky breath, pulling away as she did. Before I knew what was happening, I was kissing her and her fist was connecting with my jaw. I fell back against the counter and saw Colby and Jay laughing nearby. “We'd do the same if she hadn't beaten us to it,” Colby said. “Ten years, dude.” Callie looked from her brother to Jay to me. She shoved me once more and stalked away. “Mom,” Jacks yelled trailing behind her. “Why are you beating up the soldier?” <<<< The End >>>> You made it to the end! I'm so glad and I hope you liked it. Don't hate me for the ending because there is another book coming. We Thought We Knew It All will bring all of our favorite friends back together for some hard lessons on life, love, and moving on. If you enjoyed this story, and especially if you didn't, please consider leaving a review on amazon. I read them all. They help sell books, but they're also how I grow as a writer. I need to know what worked or didn't work for you. Thank you in advance. While you're waiting for book 2, I have a free novella for you to read. Book four in my New Beginnings series, Confessions, is free to all email subscribers. Each book in this series can be read as a standalone. Subscribe here. Connect with me. I'm a talker so don't hesitate to get me gabbing. Facebook Twitter Goodreads Website

About Michelle Writing came about in Michelle's life in a pretty unique way. And illness she had became physically disabling. It was the hardest thing she ever had to deal with. The disability is still there, but it's no longer hard. Instead, it created a passion for writing out of a need to escape. She has a ton of time on her hands and spends it crafting stories or reading. She loves hockey and Florida winters. Disabled living has been a big learning experience and the most important conclusion she's come to is that disability is only as bad as you decide it is. She may not be able to do a lot of walking, but in her stories, she can do anything.

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