Week 20

WEEK TWENTY Welcome to Week Twenty of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan. We hope you are having a great week and are ready for this week's journey. Jim writes in his Seasons of Life book, spring is a time of resurgence--new beginnings and new opportunities. Similarly today, regardless of the past, we all have new opportunities to start being who we desire to be--the husband or wife, the parent, the employee or employer and also the friend (the focus of today's edition) that is in our heart and mind to be; the opportunity to experience the health and vitality we deserve; to have the boldness and clarity to challenge stagnation or mistakes from the past. In essence, we have the chance to start fresh again today and throughout this year. It's hard to believe that we are already on Week 20. I trust you are experiencing growth and shifts in your vision, thinking and actions. If you're behind in the program, that's okay. Just start today with this week's lesson. Remember, we're looking for the diamond or one thought or concept each week that is meant uniquely for us and our current situation. You've already enrolled (made a commitment) and that's 70% of the victory. Now let each week provide an insight or change that will help take you toward your desired outcome. Life is full of opportunities. You are a winner - Go For It! Enjoy! Kyle

“Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.” -- Jennie Jerome Churchill

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R REELLA AT TIIO ON NSSH HIIP PSS Jim Rohn's Fifth Pillar of Success: Relationships, Part Three – Friendships Hi, Jim Rohn here. This month we are exploring the secrets of successful relationships, and are seeking to understand what ingredients make healthy relationships in our lives. We are looking at four main areas: 1. Basics of Healthy Relationships. There are certain fundamentals that, if mastered, will take you far down the road of healthy relationships. The key to understanding relationships is that relationships involve people. And while every person is different, there are general principles that make most people tick. If we understand these basics or fundamentals, and operate accordingly, we can make our bad relationships good and our good relationships great. We covered these basics two week's ago. 2. Family and Spousal Relationships. The primary relationships that most people have are with their family. Yes, that wonderful enigma we call family. Those deep and meaningful relationships that can bring the highlights - and the lowlights - of life. That group of people, many of whom we didn't even get to choose, who will walk through this life with us. Your family relationships must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship growing and flourishing. We discussed how to have great family and spousal relationships in last week's edition. 3. Friendships. Second to family, friends are the most important relationships we have. Friendships are unique because they are the relationships we have that are almost entirely voluntary. You don't get to choose your parents or your siblings, but you do get to choose your friends. And so many times we find that these relationships can provide matchless dynamics not found in our other relationships. These especially can, in their own special way, enhance our other relationships. This makes the relationship unique, and we will take a deeper look into successful friendships in today's edition. 4. Business Relationships. Many people do not understand how powerful relationships are in business. You've heard me say it before, but you cannot succeed by yourself. It is hard to find a rich hermit. So many times we underestimate this unique dynamic that has the potential to take us to new levels in our businesses. We may understand that family and friends are about relationships, but mistakenly think that "business is business". The fact is that even in business, relationships rule. Think for a moment about two sales people, one of whom is a friend and one of whom you have never met before. When it comes right down to it, you are most likely to buy from the one you know. That is the foundation of relationships. Next week we will look at how to have great business relationships. This week we will be taking a closer look at the importance of friendships. Copyright Jim Rohn International 2002-2004

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As I mentioned above, friendships are the second most important relationships we have in this life, second only to family relationships. We do well to place a high emphasis on friendships and their positive role in our lives. Here are some important thoughts on finding and developing life-long friendships. Remember that your associations, your friends, have an affect on you. So choose your friends wisely. The character flaws that your friends exhibit, if you spend much time with them, will inevitably begin to work their way into your life. The old proverb says, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” Your friends will be the primary influencers of who you are. Now understand that there are two parts to influence: first, influence is powerful; and second, influence is subtle. You might not let your friends push you off course, but you might let them nudge you off course and not even realize it. So pick good ones. It is also true that if we surround ourselves with good friends we will see their positive aspects rub off on us as well, and make us better people because they are in our lives. So get around people who have something of value to share with you. The impact can be significant. Commit time to your friendships. One thing I have noticed is that we tend to go through stages in life where the pendulum swings too far in one direction. One example of this is when people get married they tend to spend very little time with their friends as individuals. Now, of course our families should take priority, but many times we end up neglecting friendships that could and should be so meaningful for our lives. No matter what your time commitments, whether work or family, be sure to set aside time on a regular basis for your friends. If you are married, both of you should give the other ample time to spend with friends. Your partner will be better off, as will your marriage. You will also be setting a good example for children who need to see healthy adult friendships. Balance fun times with meaningful times. Friendships have a tendency to be centered on entertainment or fun, especially for men (going to sporting events or doing outdoor activities). Those times are good, but they need to be balanced out with making sure that we have good, challenging, and meaningful times too--good discussions and thoughtful times. This is what rounds out relationships and friendships. Now we know the opposite is sometimes true with marriage relationships – we get so tied up in the mundane or the “important” that we often forget to have fun. So keep a monitor on your friendships and make sure you are getting everything you can from them. Remain loyal. So many times we let friends come and go too easily. Yet the best relationships are those that last for long periods of time and remain through both the tough times and the good times. Too many people today avoid friends who are going through hard times, but I believe we become better people by remaining loyal. This is Copyright Jim Rohn International 2002-2004

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character building at its finest. Now let me say that sometimes your friends will not be loyal to you, but you can remain loyal to them because it's not based on their loyalty, it is simply a decision. And there is something good that happens from sticking it out. Now obviously, I'm not saying to support harmful or illegal behavior; that is an entirely different subject and would require different guidelines. But in general, when times are hard, be loyal. When friends aren’t loyal, be loyal. Let your friends be resources. Our friends are tremendous resources for us and have so much to offer us. They have strengths we don’t have. They have insights we don’t. Too often we have these tremendous resources around us and we fail to get all that we can from them. Now make sure this is a reciprocal benefit and that you are bringing your best to the friendship as well. But so often we try to do it on our own when we should have others help us shoulder the load. Go to your friends and ask for their help and insights. Let them help you. Care for your friends. One of the things that has happened in our highly mobile society is that we have lost our ability to care for those around us. In the past, people lived in the same neighborhoods for decades and everyone knew each other and cared for each other and their children. When someone was sick, the neighborhood pitched in and helped out. This falls to families most of the time, but now many families live thousands of miles from each other. Therefore, friends are the ones who can do such a great service for one another by providing that net of care around each other. Life is tough sometimes and we need good people around us to help out. This is, as the saying goes, what friends are for. In the next section, Chris is going to give you some thoughts on friendships, as well as some questions for reflection and actions points. Until next week, let’s do something remarkable! Jim Rohn

“The best words for resolving a disagreement are, ‘I could be wrong; I often am.’ It's true.” -– Brian Tracy

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Hi there, Chris Widener here. I want to share an article I had previously written that I believe is very fitting for this week's topic. Seven Things You Must Give to Others if You Want to Achieve Successful Friendships! A major part of the process of achieving success and living the kind of life that you dream of is to give. This is especially true in friendships and relationships of all sorts. Many people think that to get what you want, you have to take it. There is a universal truth though that the true path to get what you want is to give. When you give, you get. What you sow, you shall reap. If this is true, then what is it we must give to develop great and lasting friendships? I’ll show you the way... Give Your Friends Your Honesty. The world we live in has a simple rule that most follow: Lie when you have to. Unfortunately, this may make some people wealthy but it makes us poor as humans. To achieve success is to become wealthy not only in money, but also in character. To be successful, truly successful, is to be able to attain your goals and keep your character at the same time! If we want to develop great friendships we will have to become people of complete and total honesty. "Honesty is the single most important factor having a direct bearing on the final success of an individual, corporation, or product." Ed McMahon Mr. McMahon is right, though others will tell you otherwise. Some people will say, “You have to bend the truth to get ahead.” Not true. Some of the most successful people who have ever lived where honest people. How about you? Are you honest in all things with your friends? The problem with little lies is they become big ones. Lies spin out of control. You get caught in one lie and then you lie to get out of it, etc. In all things and at all times, give your friends your honesty. Give Your Friends Your Respect. Most of the time we give people respect based on what they have done or what they have accomplished. We gauge whether or not they are “worthy” of it based on what we know of what they have achieved, or who they know or are related to.

“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.” -- Len Wein

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But I believe we should have a higher standard: We respect people not for what they have done or for who they are related to, or for what they can do for us. Instead, we respect people for simply being. What would happen in our world, in our company, and yes, even in our families if we started with respect for everyone else rather than making them earn it? I think we would see that most people would live up to the respect that we give them! Give Your Friends Your Vulnerability. We are taught to “be strong.” And yes, we should be strong. But we have also embraced something that I think keeps us from having the kind of friendships that we long for. It is an idea that keeps us from experiencing the kind of relationships that would bring deep meaning to us. It is the idea of vulnerability. “But Chris, make yourself vulnerable and people will step all over you!” It is true that this can happen. But I have also seen that most people will be drawn to you. They will help you. They will open up to you. You see, we are all broken people inside. We all have secrets. Yet everyone plays the poser. When one lets down their veil, others soon follow – and we all win. Give Your Friends Your Care. Too many people are running around this old earth not caring about others. The days of “Look Out for Number One” and “Winning Through Intimidation” are over! Let’s bring about a new day when we can care about others and succeed! Take the time to show your friends that you care. Listen to them. Empathize with them. Love them. Now, I don’t mean that you have to go around hugging everyone, but we can take some time to be human! I have found that when we do so our friendships succeed! Give Your Friends Your Passion. There is nothing this world needs more than passionate people. We all benefit from having passionate people around us. Living in this day and age can be tiring. The hustle and bustle of it all can wear you down and tire you out. Give your passion to your friends and fire them up. Don’t just be humdrum – be excited. Give your friends all the energy you can muster up. And you will find that energy reciprocated. They will get energized and passionate. This in turn will fire you up even more if you are already charged, or get you going when you may not feel like moving at all! Copyright Jim Rohn International 2002-2004

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Give Your Friends Your Experience. We all have areas in which we excel, and they are usually areas that we have experience in. One of the things we can do to make our friendships more meaningful and be of utmost help to others is to show them the way through the experiences we have. Sometimes it will be what they should do: shortcuts to take, people to meet, etc. Sometimes it will be what they should not do: shortcuts not to take and people to stay away from! Whatever it is, we can be of service to others by giving them our experience and ultimately, it will make us all better! Give Your Friends Your Help. All in all, what we want to do is to help others. Zig Ziglar says that if we will “help others get what they want, we will in turn get what we want.” If we want to be successful, we should consider ourselves servants of other people. What can we do to help them and make them better? This is the true path to greatness and success, not only in friendships, but in life! If you want to have great friendships ask yourself if you: Give Others Your Honesty. Give Others Your Respect. Give Others Your Vulnerability. Give Others Your Care. Give Others Your Passion. Give Others Your Experience. Give Others Your Help. Chris Widener

“The more credit you give away, the more will come back to you. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.” -- Brian Tracy

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Q Qu ueessttiioon nss ffoorr R Reefflleeccttiioon n:: Q. How would you evaluate the associations you call friends? Are they good in that they make you a better person, or do they hold you back and nudge you off course?

Q. How much time do you devote each week to your friendships? Are you proactive about maintaining your friendships and spending time on them?

Q. Do you have a good balance of fun and meaningful times with your friends? How so?

Q. In what areas are your friends resources for you? To what degree do you take advantage of that? Are you allowing your friends to influence you in all the great ways they can? If not, how can you increase that?

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Q. Would you say that you are characterized by care for your friends? How can you develop this aspect even more? In what ways do your friends need your care now?

A Accttiioon n SStteep pss T Th hiiss W Weeeekk:: 1. Take some time this week to evaluate the level of associations you have in your friendships. On a scale of one to ten, rate your friendships in regard to what kind of person they make you.

2. Talk to a friend this week about scheduling a regular time together so you are proactive about your friendship.

3. Take a step in balancing your friendships. This week, when you get together, if you are normally fun-oriented, be serious. And if you are normally serious, schedule something fun!

4. Do something this week that shows you care for your friends. Don’t just think it – Do it! Write your plans here.

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Review of CD 14 •

To attract attractive people, you must be attractive.

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Refine your philosophy.

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America is the depository of the gifts of the world.

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Leadership is the challenge of being above average.

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Learn to be strong but not rude.

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Learn to be kind but not weak.

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Learn to be bold but not a bully.

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Learn to be thoughtful but not lazy.

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Learn to be a dreamer but not a dreamer who never acts.

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Learn to be proud but not arrogant.

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Learn to be humble but not timid.

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Learn to be humorous, but not full of folly.

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Learn to be witty but not silly.

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The law of averages: If you do something often enough you get a ratio of results.

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Once the ratio starts, it tends to continue.

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The ratio can be improved.

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Everything is a pyramid.

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Life takes its inevitable toll.

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Each person has a different vision of their future.

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Not everybody should. Not everybody will.

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Don’t send ducks to eagles' school.

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Wealth does not guarantee that you will know your graces or be sophisticated.

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Learn to work with people who deserve it, not who need it.

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Sowing and reaping.

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You reap more than what you sow.

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Be careful about what you sow.

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Sometimes when you sow, you do not reap.

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Leaders understand what creates a wealthy person.

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Jim is wealthy because of: 1. His heritage 2. His country 3. His experiences 4. His friends 5. What he has learned 6. His future 7. His unique love experiences

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Let others lead small lives, but not you.

A A LLooookk FFoorrw waarrd d:: This week we will be listening to CD 15 of the New Millennium series.

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The Platinum Mastermind Group

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Books that changed your life

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The one thing you do better than anyone else

And More! See you next week, Chris Widener

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N Nootteess ffoorr C hn Rooh nN Neew w CD D FFiifftteeeen n ffrroom m tth hee JJiim mR M i l l e n n i u m s e r i e s : Millennium series: ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Copyright Jim Rohn International 2002-2004

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