A Touch Of Lust - Michelle Horst

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. As an author I love what I write and I wrote it for you. You can reach me at [email protected]. Or you can find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MichelleAnnHorst Michelle Horst ~ A Touch of Lust (MA Horst 2017)

Also by Michelle Horst THE TAINTED INK SERIES Contemporary Romance/ Romantic Suspense Wake Me Up Wyatt Zac – Coming soon Aiden – Coming soon THE BOUNDARIES SERIES Dark Romance/ Erotica/ Romantic Suspense Dark Boundaries Cruel Boundaries – A Novella Twisted Boundaries Broken Boundaries –Coming soon

THE MONSTER SERIES Dark Romance/ Romantic Suspense Saved By Her Saved By Him Footprints In The Sand Special Edition – Stand Alone Romance PREDATOR A Stand Alone Romantic Suspense PROTECTOR A Stand Alone Romantic Suspense PROWLER A Stand Alone Romantic Suspense Coming soon

A TOUCH OF LUST Romance

Acknowledgements I thank God, who has been my pillar of strength every step of the way. Ronald and Sheldon – I’m thankful for the two men in my life.

Kristine, my #crazytwinsie and super-amazing PA, I’d be lost without you. Thank you for never giving up on me <2 Leigh Shen, you’re my rock star. Thank you for helping me through my darkest night. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for being such a beautiful soul. My Beta readers Kristine, Kelly, Morgan and Sophie – Thank you for being the Godparents of my paper baby. To my book bestie and Editor, Karen, thank you for always being there for me. Give Me Books Promotions and Enticing Journey Book Promotions, thank you for taking care of the promotional side of things. A special thank you to every blog that took the time to take part in the cover reveal and release day. Love ya all tons ;)

Dedication

To the outsiders, the rejected, the broken – to you.

Authors Note: Please note that Liam and Mila are not from the same cult.

(Age Sixteen – Name of cult - Miller Clan)

Liam~ “I don’t want to go,” Rosie whispers miserably as we watch the truck come up the drive. “Sorry, kiddo.” I brush my fingers gently over her hair and immediately hate that it’s caught in a tight braid. I can’t stop from pulling a disgusted face as my eyes run over my baby sister. I hate that she has to wear the stupid blue dress and that she has to wear her hair in a tight braid. I hate that she only gets to be a kid two weeks out of a month, and the other two weeks she lives in fear of the cult. Rosie is only thirteen. She shouldn’t have any worries. She should be able to wear pretty things and play with her friends. She should be free to be a kid. I hate the cult and that we have to go to there. Rosie has to work in the kitchen while I have to clean all the gardens. I feel like it’s all they use us for - cheap, manual labor. We weren’t born into the cult, not like all the other kids there. Mom got this crazy idea to join them when I was a twelve-year-old boy. Rosie was only nine back then. I still remember how carefree Rosie was. She was a bubbly kid once, but it all changed. Slowly, she started to lose her sparkle and she smiled less and less. Where Dad would work on his truck on a Sunday morning, Mom would drag us to church with her. Before anyone knew what was happening, she got sucked into the cult. When that fake Prophet, Elijah, said that we all had to move to the property he secured for his followers, it was too late for Dad to try and change Mom’s mind. Mom and Dad got divorced the same year, and then Mom moved to the tiny house the cult gave her. We are still trying to get used to our parents living in two separate houses, never mind how a cult operates. It’s been hard on both of us, but especially on Rosie. Rosie slips her tiny hand into mine and I give it a squeeze. “We’re going to be okay. It’s just for one week, and then we’ll be back home with Dad.” “Why do we have to go?” She looks up at me with the biggest green eyes. I hate seeing Rosie so

upset. “Just three more years and you’ll be sixteen. Then we won’t have to go anymore.” Rosie’s shoulders slump in defeat. “Three years feel like forever,” she whispers as her bottom lip starts to quiver. I slip an arm around her shoulders and draw her into my side. Going to visit Mom is so much harder for Rosie. The cult looks down on women. They’re not even allowed to use their own names. All the single girls are called daughters. The married ones are called sisters. The elderly women are called mothers. They aren’t allowed pretty things. Everyone has the same hairstyle, long hair that’s to be braided at all times. Come summer or winter, they all wear the same plain blue dresses that cover every inch of their bodies. They have to sleep on hard floors, because the beds are to be kept pure and holy for the men. The cult believes that all women are sinners. They have to repent daily for their sins if they want to go to heaven. We don’t have a choice but to go visit Mom. At least we get to stay with Dad every other week. Dad always showers us with love and attention. But then the week comes to an end and we have to go back to the stupid cult. We’re forced to live two totally different lives and it’s confusing to Rosie. Dad tried to fight the system, but he never won. The best he could do was to get joint custody. It didn’t matter that we wanted to stay with Dad all the time. At the age of sixteen, I don’t have to go with Mom anymore, but I keep going for Rosie. I can’t let her be there all by herself. Those perverted men are circling her like vultures. She just turned thirteen last month – the ripe age to be courted, according to the law of the cult. I don’t pay much attention to their teachings. I don’t want to give them a foot in the door. Dad comes out onto the porch and sighs heavily as the truck stops in front of the house. “Just switch off,” he says. He always tells us this. I think that deep down, Dad is scared that we’ll join the cult. “Don’t let them get to you. Look after Rosie, Liam.” There are deep lines etched into Dad’s face. It’s hard for him to let us go. “Yes, Sir,” I say with determination. Prophet Elijah is a self-proclaimed god and his followers believe all his lies. Personally, I think some of the men just pretend to believe in him. I think those men are only there for the sex. They can have many wives. The older I become, the more I realize that the cult is only an excuse to oppress women and use them for sex. It’s nothing more than a sick craze. I hear them all talk while I work in the gardens. People think I’m not a threat, just because I’m quiet. I’ve heard how the men talk about the girls and it’s sickening. “Just one more week,” I whisper as I hold Rosie closer to my side. It’s my duty to keep her safe.

I take a deep breath and then I turn to Dad. “Seven days.” His sad eyes meet mine and I see the tears shimmer in them. It’s hard for him to let us go. This is so unfair. “I’ll see you both in seven days.”

I’m sitting in front of the bathroom while Rosie is taking a quick bath. I stare at the watermarks on the ceiling, dreading the dance we have to go to. The door to the bathroom opens and Rosie comes out. She’s dressed in the stupid blue dress. Her lips are blue from the cold and it makes anger explode in my chest. I quickly get up and take hold of her, hugging her tightly to my chest. I rub her back, trying to get some warmth into her body. The women aren’t allowed any luxuries. No hot water, nothing that can be seen as a comfort. They have to be punished in this life so they may enter heaven’s gates. It’s stupid, and these people are all crazy for believing that crap. “Let’s go,” Mark snaps. I’ve never seen the man smile, and he especially looks upset every time he has to look at me. I’m the son of an outsider and that has to be a thorn in his side. Mom is Mark’s fifth wife. I still don’t understand how Mom could give up being Dad’s only wife just to become one of many to a man who doesn’t seem to care much about her. Because Mom hasn’t given any children to Mark, she’s been given the smallest house. It’s only got one bedroom. Rosie and I sleep on the floor in the living room when we come over. There’s just one couch and we can’t both fit on it. That’s also the reason we have to work all day long. We have to pay for the food we eat. Rosie works in the kitchen from six in the morning until nine at night, tending to whoever might need something, unless she’s at the church repenting. I, on the other hand, make sure to take my time weeding and cutting grass. If I finish early, they’ll just give me more work. I have to carry all the trash to the big dumpster by the gate on a daily basis and then clean the ones located all over the property. I take comfort in the fact that Rosie isn’t alone during the day. Most of the young girls work in the kitchen. They have to all learn how to be the perfect wife so they can be a blessing to their future husbands. I don’t know any of the other kids. The girls are taught to view boys as snakes until the day of their marriage. I’m just glad that Rosie isn’t alone during the day. Mark never arrives at a dance or a service with one of his wives, unless there’s a reason. I scowl at him as he leers at Rosie. I make sure to take Rosie’s hand and pull her shivering body behind mine.

As we walk out of the house, Mom falls into step behind Mark. I take in the slender frame of Mom and once again wonder where it all went so horribly wrong. There’s nothing left of the Mom I grew up loving and that’s so sad. I can’t even mourn her because she’s still alive. As we near the hall where the dance is being held, Mark stops to greet Allen. They call each other brothers and sisters – one huge fucked up family. They both look at Rosie and it makes me walk faster. We walk into the hall and I keep going until we reach the far corner, away from the tables where the food and drinks are. “I’m scared,” Rosie whispers as she comes to stand half behind me. We both know what’s coming. They’re going to try and court Rosie tonight. Things are going to get ugly. I can just feel it in my gut. “Just stay with me,” I tell her. I scowl at every person who dares to look in our direction so they’ll know to not even try. It’s going to be a long night and I’m already tired. The music starts and I watch as old men dance with little girls. Everything about it is wrong and it makes me feel sick. I swallow down the hatred that’s making my breaths come hard and fast. Every muscle in my body is wound tight. The first dance comes to an end and I watch with overwhelming disgust as an old man grins greedily at the little girl standing closest to us. She looks to be a few years younger than Rosie. I’m sure it’s one of the girls that work at the kitchen with Rosie. The old man takes the little girl’s arm and pulls her into a dancing stance. She smiles with quivering lips and dances with the old man. She has no choice – none of them do. When the song ends, the old man lets go of the little girl, and then he looks in our direction. I grind my teeth, challenging him with a dark look. The leader of the cult, Prophet Elijah, comes into the hall and everybody smiles as they watch him with reverence. I can’t believe he’s fooled so many people. Mark comes to stand near us and he gives me a disapproving look. He can go to hell, for all I care. I’m surprised when Elijah comes over to us. He holds his hand out to me and patiently waits for me to take it. The others see it as a great honor to talk with Elijah, but not me. “Brother Liam, how are you?” I ignore his hand and grind out, “I’m not your brother.” Elijah nods and then he watches me with a somber look. “You would’ve made a fine contribution to the brotherhood. You’re a hard worker. It’s such a pity.”

I just snort in contempt. Elijah gives me a sharp look that means nothing good for me. He walks over to the small podium and clears his throat. It’s all it takes for everyone to keep quiet. I’m just glad he’s done talking with me. He starts to drone on and on about the importance of the brotherhood and then his eyes fall on Rosie and he says, “It’s an honor for a woman to be chosen by a brother. By being a sweet and dutiful wife, she is a blessing to her family.” I pull Rosie totally behind me and almost growl at Elijah. His mind tricks won’t work on us. I just keep scowling at everyone and praying that the night will come to an end. I’m so relieved when we get to go back to Mom’s house that it makes me feel emotional and exhausted. My stomach is burning from all the tension. Once we’re standing in the sparsely furnished living room, I rub the back of my neck. “You okay?” I ask Rosie. She drops her chin to her chest and her shoulders droop. She refuses to make eye contact with me. “I …” She swallows hard and then just shakes her head. “I just want to be alone for a while. I’m going to go for a walk.” Mark comes into the house with Mom following right behind him. His eyes burn over me and then he looks at Rosie with the same sharp look. “You’re a disgrace to the brotherhood. By refusing us, you have proclaimed yourself as a sinner before all. You’re to leave the property. You’re banned.” Anger flares hot through me. We’ll walk home if we have to, but I’m tired of these people’s crazy ways. “That’s just fine by me!” I shout back at Mark. “Come on, Rosie.” As we start to head to the door, Mark says, “Only you, Liam. As a daughter of the brotherhood, Rosie stays. She’ll be married to Brother Scott tomorrow and won’t be my problem any longer. As a sinner, you are not to have any contact with her or your mother. They are no longer your family. It’s a choice you made when you chose the ways of the outside.” My mouth drops open and for a stupid moment, I just stare at the man. Rosie’s face pales and her eyes well with tears. Fear and hopelessness make her look even younger and more vulnerable than ever. “I won’t! I’d rather die a thousand deaths before I let that old man touch me!” Rosie shouts before she takes off running out the front door. I stare Mark down as I hiss, “Over my dead body will I leave my baby sister here. You’re all sick. She’s a minor. A little girl! I’m taking my sister and we’re leaving. My dad won’t let you get away with this.” Even as I say the words, I know there’s nothing Dad can do. The cult pays the law officials

to turn a blind eye to what’s happening here. I rush out the door to go after Rosie, but I’m stopped dead in my tracks by all the men gathered in front of the house. Damn, it’s the holy squad - a bunch of men that act as security for the cult. One of the men steps right up to me and shoves hard at my chest. I take a few stumbling steps back and try to look for a way around them. I don’t have time to fight my way out of this mess. I have to get to Rosie. The nervous tension I’ve been feeling all night long starts to ache, making my stomach feel like nothing more than a hard lump of coal. The man that shoved me sneers, “Leave our holy ground, sinner.” “I’ll leave as soon as I have my sister,” I growl. I will not leave without Rosie. “You have no family here!” Mark says from the doorway and I can see Mom cowering behind him. “You’re going to let them do this? You’re our mother! You’re supposed to protect us,” I shout at Mom. I can’t believe this is the same woman who read us bedtime stories when we were toddlers. Mark moves to the side so I can clearly see Mom. She rubs her hands nervously together and her eyes drop shamefully to the ground. Whether it’s shame for failing her children or shame because we refuse to join her crazy cult, I’ll never know. “Why couldn’t you accept the ways of the brotherhood? You’re breaking my heart by shunning us,” she whispers submissively. Her words hit hard. She actually blames me? I shake my head, not sure how to process any of this. The lump of coal in my stomach sinks into my bones, making my whole body feel heavy with disappointment and frustration. The holy squad moves in on me and I dart to the side so I can try and pass them. One of them grabs at my arm and I blindly swing a punch at him. My fist slams into the side of his face, and in that moment, I’m thankful for all the garden work I was forced to do. It helped me build muscle. I manage to yank free just as a scream echoes over the property. Everyone freezes and a wave of shock ripples over my body. What the hell was that? I start to run in the direction the scream came from. Fear starts to claw its way up my legs, making every step feel heavy. The church comes into view. People are rushing into the building and I quickly follow. I hope Rosie is here so I can just take her and leave this fucked up place. As I near the front doors to the huge, white building, I hear a little girl’s hysterical crying, but I know it’s not Rosie’s. Rosie has always been a silent crier. I rush inside, wanting to see if Rosie is here. I need to get her out of here. “Come down, daughter,” Elijah says, and for the first time I hear panic in his voice. “Don’t damn your soul with this vile act.”

I look up and my blood instantly runs cold. My heartbeat slows down until I feel every heavy pound against my ribs. Then the hurt comes. It’s filled with devastation and it slams into me with the force of a thousand blows. A raw cry tears from my throat, and my body moves on its own, because my mind is in too much shock to think clearly. Rosie’s body is still swaying but no one is making an effort to help her, to try and save her. They are all focused on the remaining girl still standing with the rope around her neck. There’s another girl hanging next to Rosie, but I’m too focused on my sister to care about the others. I grab Rosie’s legs and push her body up in an attempt to stop the rope from strangling her. Another raw cry is torn from somewhere deep inside me. “Rosie! I’ve got you. Hold on. I’ll get you down.” I push her body higher and that’s when the first wave of desperation slams into my gut. It makes despair rip through my sanity until it feels as if all hope is lost. The light dims around me. Darkness creeps in along the edges of my vision. Sorrow fills every crevice of my body. “Help me!” I scream at the people around us. “Someone cut the rope! Don’t just fucking stand there! Help me!” Everyone ignores me as they all watch Elijah talk the remaining girl down from the balcony where Rosie’s body is hanging from. I cling to Rosie’s legs with all my might, holding her up so the rope won’t strangle her. Finally, the other girl removes the rope from around her neck and men rush forward to cut the ropes loose. Rosie’s body slumps into me and I quickly lay her down. I rush to untie the rope from her neck and only once I’ve yanked it over her head, do I look at her. Her lips are blue against her pale face. There’s a harsh burn mark around her neck from where the rope strangled her. I don’t know how to feel for a pulse, or how to give CPR. I look up at the adults around us, hoping one of them will help us, but they all just stare at me with morbid faces, some even glaring at us with disapproval. I place my hand over Rosie’s mouth, hoping that I’ll feel a burst of warm breath, but there’s nothing. A man takes a step closer to us and it makes me grab Rosie to my chest. “Don’t you dare touch her!” I glare at everyone, wishing I could kill them all with just a look. “It’s all your fault. You’re a bunch of fucking monsters!” Mark pushes through the crowd, his lips pulling down in disgust. “We need to place the bodies outside the property. Sinners aren’t allowed on holy ground,”

Elijah says. I know what that means. I might be sixteen and grief-stricken, but I know what that means. They are just going to dump them outside the gates. I stumble to my feet with Rosie in my arms. The dead weight of her body makes my arms burn. The people give way as I start to walk with shaky legs. I carry my sister off the property and even though we pass through the gates, I keep walking. I need to get Rosie home. I just need to get home. Tears stream down my cheeks as I carry the body of my baby sister back to our father.

What haunts me most is not the fact that I failed to protect my baby sister – but what horrors she must’ve gone through to be forced over the edge. What really happened to Rosie to make her take her own life? What did they do to break her? I refuse to believe that Rosie was weak. I refuse to believe that she took her own life because of what Mark said. With every passing day we stayed on that property, Rosie turned more into herself. She would never talk to me about it, but I could see that the cult was getting to her. I just never thought it was so bad that she would commit suicide. It haunts me every single second. I hate the cult with a raging passion. I want revenge for Rosie. Thoughts of vengeance keep me going in the days following Rosie’s death.

(Age fourteen - Name of cult – Order of The Promised Land)

Mila~ There have been talks of Outsiders coming to the compound. Prophet David says it’s so they can see that we live a holy life, so they’ll let us live in peace. I’ve had my doubts about The Order for a long time now, but now that Outsiders are coming, it’s solidifying the feelings of doubt and frustration. Prophet David never felt the need to defend our way against Outsiders before, and it’s worrying that he doesn’t have such a tight hold over everything

anymore. It’s always been us and them. Only the Unblemished Brothers get to leave the compound. They say that they protect us from the evil outside the gates. That’s why I don’t understand how Prophet David can allow The Outsiders to come here now. When you look closely at him, you can see the fear in Prophet David’s eyes. I think he’s losing control of The Order he created and that scares him. I’m scared of what’s coming. I can feel it in the air – the tension, the fear, the suppressed panic.

“We give thanks for Prophet David.” Everyone repeats Brother Jacob’s words. We do this four more times as all the Unblemished Brothers take turns to honor Prophet David, and then they form a line behind the podium. All the women kneel while the men remain standing. This is to show that we’re not worthy of standing in the presence of Prophet David. The Temple is also the one place The Outsiders aren’t allowed to come into. They arrived yesterday and have been talking to many people. They have been recording our way of life. They call themselves journalists. Prophet David thinks they are evil, here to test our faith. Prophet David takes his place behind the podium and then his eyes slowly trail over all his followers. “I’ve had a revelation from the Divine One,” he calls out with an almost frenzied eagerness to his voice. It’s a total change from the almost depressed look he’s had the past few weeks. His eyes are wide and a feverish smile envelops his face. “I’m so excited! I can barely contain myself. My fellow believers, Brother William is to take his ninth wife.” He keeps quiet for a few heartbeats, letting the suspense build as his words sink in. We’ve been led to believe that Prophet David talks with God, that he’s a direct descendant of Jesus Christ. I’m not so sure that the voice in his head is actually God’s. I’m starting to think it’s only Prophet David’s inflated ego. I’ve come to realize that he loves being at the center of everything. He’s nothing more than a power hungry mad man. “Mila has been chosen. This news is sacred and not to be shared with The Immoral that have come to seek our destruction.” My heart stutters with shock. I knew this day was coming, just not so soon. I was hoping I’d be gone before things got this bad. I’m to be married to Brother William.

I keep my head low so no one will be able to see the absolute horror that I’m unable to hide. Panicked thoughts start to whirl through my mind. Have I waited too long? I have to run! I have to think of a way to get out today. How will I survive? What’s on the outside of the compound? Will I be better off on the outside, or are things as bad as everyone says? I remember when Chasidee ran away. It didn’t take them long to find her. If I remember correctly, it only took the Unblemished Brothers two weeks to track her down. They brought her back and she was shackled to the ground in the middle of the compound and then flogged three times a day for seven days. Since then I’ve been afraid of leaving. What if I run and they find me? What kind of horrible punishment will they think out for me then? I see how Chasidee is still suffering. She’s had four children since but they’ve taken them from her, saying that she’s not fit to raise children of The Order. My throat is so dry that every time I swallow, it hurts. A heavy, hollow pain forms in my heart, making me feel nauseous. I feel trapped. I want to escape so badly, but the fear of being found and punished is almost crippling. If I follow the way of The Order I’ll be blessed. I’ll go to The Promised Land. The words are nothing more than a habit. As soon as they pop into my head, I suppress the urge to murmur them. It’s hard to break away from the ritual if you’re surrounded by it every single day. It’s all I’ve known, ever since I can remember. Every day of my life, I’m reminded that I’m nothing more than a Daughter of Sin. I’m bad, shameful – nothing but a whore, and I’ll only get to The Promised Land by the mercy and forgiveness of Prophet David. Deep down I’m scared. I try to suppress the fear and swallow the panic that’s welling up in my chest. Be sweet. Be dutiful. Don’t let any of them see that your faith is dwindling. I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. I fight for composure while all I want to do is run away from this madness. This is the way of The Order and I don’t dare show any of them that I’m questioning it.

Quietly, I make my way to the store house. I can feel the suppressed excitement pulsing all around me. A wedding means a celebration. Am I the only one to think that it’s total madness? This can’t be life. I’m only fourteen. I’m not ready to be a wife. Prophet David instructed us to go on with our daily duties and that the wedding will take place

this Saturday. Five days. That’s all the time I have left. It feels as if I’m slowly suffocating from all the anxiety swirling inside me. The most primal part of me just wants to run, but the conditioned part is too scared to go against The Order. The fear of what this day will bring eats away at my insides. I’m not ready to be someone’s wife, especially not to Brother William. He’s a cruel man who loves to punish us for anything. I remember the day Everly got married. It was four years ago. She was thirteen and Brother Gary had been courting her for a few months. She had the prettiest face I’ve ever seen. Happiness always shone from her eyes and laughter always bubbled over her lips. We used to be best friends. But then she got married. After her wedding night she changed. She hardly ever smiled. We used to work together in the store house, Everly and myself. That’s when I first saw the bruises. Everly showed me how Brother Gary had belted the back of her thighs because she wasn’t sweetly enough when one of the Unblemished Brothers came to mate with her. She had to be ready and willing at all times to receive the seed of any of the Unblemished Brothers. They were holy and it was an honor. She was cursed for her body not accepting the seed and bearing a baby. After that day she told me all the horrors of being married. It wasn’t at all like we’ve been told. We were taught that marriage was holy, that by being a dutiful wife you were securing your place, as well as that of your family, in The Promised Land. We weren’t told that you’re beaten on a regular basis. No one told us that the Unblemished Brothers could have intercourse with you at any time so they could spread their seed. Back then, the beatings happened behind closed doors but that, too, has changed. Now the Unblemished Brothers can beat any woman in public if we’re caught doing something they think is sinful. They say it’s to keep the other women from sinning. It’s to keep us all on the narrow path. I don’t believe in the way of The Order anymore. I don’t believe it’s right to beat women, to treat them worse than cattle. I watch as the people live their lives here at the compound, but I can’t bring myself to believe as they do. I’m not one of them. I want to believe that there is beauty out there. I want to believe that there is more to life than being this robot. I would leave if only I knew where to go, what to do. I don’t know what the world is like outside the compound. For all I know, things are the same all over and I’m the only one who thinks it’s wrong. I’ve been hoping things will change, but deep down I’ve always known it’s an empty hope. To everyone else here, this is normal. I’m the odd one out. Everly finally had a child, and since then she stopped working at the store house with me. Now I work with two of my half-sisters, Lauren and Jessica. They’re both younger than me. Even though

we’re family, we look nothing alike - where I have dark brown hair and grey eyes, they have light complexions and green eyes. None of us look like our father. I only have one full blood sister who just turned seven. I’ve been holding out for her. But I can’t marry Brother William, not even for Claire. My half-sisters tend to the front counter while I’m in charge of keeping the books updated. I have to make sure that every purchase is debited on the follower’s account. We all get paid an income for the work we do here at the compound. Whatever we take from the store house is taken from our income. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that they don’t charge us for the air we breathe. I take a seat at the counter and stare at all the journals. I’ll have to go for a fitting with the seamstress later today to have a wedding dress made. It’s the only time we get to wear something other than the awful blue dresses. Just the thought alone makes fear slither down my spine. I can’t bring myself to work. I hear my half-sisters whispering in front, excitement in their voices. I can feel every minute painfully slipping away from me. Just before noon, I bolt to my feet, my breaths exploding from my dry lips. I can’t go through with it. I can’t marry a monster. I’m too scared. Panic floods my body and I start to tremble. Desperately, I look around me for a reason to leave the store house and spot the half full trash bag. That’s perfect! I empty all the trashcans and then take hold of the now fuller bag. I walk by the counter where my half-sisters are elatedly talking about the upcoming wedding that will be a blessing to our family. They don’t even notice as I leave the store house. I walk by groups of women and children and I can hear the exhilaration in their voices. Everyone is caught up in Prophet David’s madness. As I near the dumpsters, my heart starts to beat faster. My fingers dig into the plastic as my nerves wind tightly with fear. I haven’t thought it through. Five seconds ago, it wasn’t even a thought to just walk out of the compound. But that’s all I can think of doing now … escaping the arranged marriage to Brother William. One step at a time gets me closer to the gate – closer to leaving the compound. I reach the dumpsters and suck in a desperate breath to calm myself a little. My eyes dart to the gate. It’s the only entrance and exit to the compound. My whole body starts to tremble with tension as I slowly lift the lid to the dumpster and throw the bag inside.

After lowering the lid again, I wipe my hands on the rough material of my dress. It doesn’t do anything to remove the sweat as my nerves start to get the better of me. I swallow hard and take a tentative step towards the gate. If I run, I can make it. “Daughter.” My heart leaps to my throat, thumping wildly. Startled, I swing around and watch with wide eyes as Brother William comes toward me. A dark frown makes his bushy eyebrows hang low over his eyes. I swallow hard, tamping down on the fear. Brother William is the younger brother to Prophet David – that makes him my uncle. They are going to force me to marry my uncle. Nausea pushes up my throat and panic floods my veins. “Do you have something to repent?” His voice is a dark rumble, promising only punishment for those who dare cross him. There is nothing I can do but to nod. Slowly, I lower myself to the ground, kneeling in front of him. I keep my eyes downcast as the trembling in my body gets worse. “Repent,” he commands. Again I swallow the fear down and then I whisper, “Forgive me for being tardy. I have to work faster. Slothfulness is a sin and I need to be punished.” The church bell tolls and my head snaps up with relief. It’s praise time. Brother William gives me a last look of warning before he walks toward the church without giving me forgiveness. He must really hate that The Outsiders are here. He loves to inflict physical punishment on anyone, and since The Outsiders came, he’s been holding back. I uncurl my stiff fingers from where they’re clutching at the sand, and then slowly force my body up. Tears sting the back of my eyes and my breaths become choppy. My eyes dart over the compound grounds and I watch as everyone hurries to the church so they can praise Prophet David. My eyes land on The Outsiders where they are busy loading the last of their things. They were only given one day to look around. I start to walk towards them and my eyes lock on one of the women. She has thick, wild curls that surround her face. She wears pants, just like the men. When I get close to their van, she looks up and then smiles. “Hello,” she whispers. I try to form a greeting on my lips but all that comes out is, “Help.” The smile drops from her face. “Do you want to leave?” I can’t form any more words and nod, praying I’m doing the right thing.

I glance over my shoulder to see if I’m being watched. If they catch me now, I’ll be in so much trouble. Anxiety spikes in my heart and I take a step away from The Outsider. I still have time to run to the church. Wildly, my eyes swing back to the woman and all I see is compassion on her face. It feels like her eyes are begging me to be strong, encouraging me to take this step. I take a few deep breaths and then walk to the van. It’s now or never. I have to do this or I will regret it for the rest of my miserable life. Even if they catch me, at least I’ll be able to say I tried. “We’re leaving right now! Quickly, before they’re done with church,” the woman suddenly says and then she pulls me to the van. I climb inside and try to ignore the overwhelming panic rushing through me. She shoves me down and whispers, “Stay down until we’re a safe distance away. Don’t worry. I’ll help you.” “Cathy!” one of the men hisses at her. “You can’t just take a kid!” “I can and I will! Only the three of us know about it. You turn a blind eye and let me save at least one person from this hell hole.” “It’s all on you. I see nothing and I know nothing,” he snaps. I’m just relieved when the engine starts up and the van moves. I pinch my eyes closed and cover my ears. I’m so scared that I’ll hear the alarm ring over the grounds. I’m scared that someone will stop the van and find me here. I’m so scared it’s making me feel ill. But no one stops us. There are no alarm bells. I keep my ears covered and my eyes closed. Am I doing the right thing? I’ll come back for Claire. I can’t save both of us right now, but I swear I will find my way on the outside. I’ll come back for Claire as soon as I manage to make it out there. I’m doing the right thing. I’ll come back for Claire. I’m doing the right thing. I chant the words as I enter the outside world for the first time in my life.



(Age Twenty)

Mila~ Just when I think I’ve managed to find a slither of normalcy, it hits me. Wham! A blast from the freaking past. The moment it hits it flays me to the bone, grinding and grinding until I’m nothing but a puddle of sloppy pulp. The panic always slams hard. It hurts to breathe then, clamping down on my lungs until all the air is squeezed from them. It’s a battle to get to the restroom - the fight to keep acting casual, to get to a stall before the darkness rolls over me in a sickening wave. I swallow back the bile pushing up my throat. Digging my nails deeper into my sweaty palms, I focus on every step that takes me closer to my destination where I can fight this in the privacy of a stall. It’s a fight I intend to win - maybe not today but someday. I don’t know how yet, but I will. For now I have to fight my way to the restroom. Fight my next breath into my lungs, to stay calm for another few precious minutes. It’s all about the fight, beating this thing one minute at a time. My vision tunnels, a reminder that the panic attack is going to trip my ass in front of all the students, and I can’t have that. I can’t lose it, not yet. Keep your shit together, Mila. Almost, babe, you’re almost there. I wrap an arm around my churning stomach to try and ease the queasiness I’m feeling and to steady myself. Liam decides to throw a party, and it’s the stupid prom all over again. I’ve had eight guys ask me to go with them. Eight! In two days. Freaking hell. It’s not like I’m Miss America, or something. I can hear Cathy saying, “All boys are horny idiots. You’d swear their brains stop functioning the moment they hit puberty. Dicks rule, brains drool.”

The problem is that my best friend, Harper, doesn’t like to say no. Oh, and she’s super-nova hot. Like sizzling off the charts hot. She has this whole blonde hair and soft green eyes look working for her. The girl just has to pout and the guys are all puddles of drool at her feet. But … then there is me. I say no to everyone. Being raised in a cult still gives me nightmares. Hey, I’m no Helen of Troy that men will cross oceans to wage wars for, but I’m no pavement special either. I’m in the safe zone, your typical girl next door type. I think I’m okay. Okay-ish brown hair. Okay-ish gray eyes. I got dealt a shitty hand when it came to size. I’m a short shit. I mean like really short. Like five foot. No, I didn’t forget to add a point something. That’s it, the whole sum of me. So back to the part about boys being horny idiots. You have this easy-going hot friend on the one side and then okay-ish me. The chick that says no on the other side. Now enter the bunch of horny dicks who think I’m playing hard to get and the bet is on. Let’s see who can get Mila Jameson in bed first. Yeah, like I haven’t heard the rumor running the mill around the college. Last Nathan heard, it was sitting at just over four hundred dollars for whoever gets me laid first. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried anything yet. I’m offended. Only four hundred dollars? Geez. I’m not giving anything up for that. It gets mind-numbing, saying the same shitty sentence over and over. There are especially the hard players, like Clive Ross. He just won’t take no for an answer. I lost my shit five minutes ago. The ass, Clive Ross tried to force me into the maintenance closet! What the hell man? No, is no! Slimy, piece of shit. Just thinking about the dark maintenance closet has my chest aching and my breaths rushing faster. And that brings us back to me panicking my ass off, elbowing my way to the toilets. I’m so sick of this. Almost there, Mila. You can make it. “Excuse me … sorry … in a hurry,” I start to mumble my way through the crowd that’s always gathering right between the guys and girls toilets. Just as my damn luck would have it, they start to move like a flock of birds, in the opposite direction I’m going, making things worse for me. “Ah, freaking hell, people.” I want to sag down to the floor and just curl into a ball. My lungs are burning something fierce already. I get bumped hard into the wall. Keeping to the wall, I squeeze my body against it and try to avoid walking into any more of the students around me. My shoulder connects hard with a solid wall of muscle. I stagger back a dazed step before I manage to regain my balance. Hands take hold of my shoulders and steady me against the wall. Unable to focus on anything but the door only a few more steps away from me, I mumble a quick, “Sorry”.

“You okay, Mila?” His voice is like a cold shower on my overheating brain. He’s standing so close I can feel his breath fan across my hot clammy skin. Liam Wright. Of all the people in the whole college. Couldn’t it be someone else? Anybody else, for crying out loud. Hot-as-sin-Liam. I drop my chin to my chest so he won’t be able to see the panic on my face. Despite the proverbial shit hitting the fan right now, feeling his hands on my shoulders makes it somehow easier to suck in a much needed deep breath. But, all I get is a lung full of Liam. Within seconds, his woodsy fresh scent is all around me. I hold my breath and grind out ‘fine’ as I duck under his arm. Dragging myself forward, I keep my eyes focused on the door. My pulse picks up its punishing pace, reminding me of darkness nipping at my heels. Oh God! Make it stop. Please make it stop. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight this forever. I sigh with relief when the toilets are within reach. Every breath I suck in feels like a wasted effort now. It’s not nearly enough to satisfy the burning need in my lungs. “Hey, Mila, what’s wrong?” Liam asks. I can feel him right behind me. Shit, the panic attack is really bad today. Even Liam sounds different. He actually sounds worried. I can’t focus on that right now, or I’m going to puke all over the floor and him. I have to make it inside and fast. His fingers brush mine, the touch jolting my body, and the urge is strong to turn back, to just lean into him for a moment. Wouldn’t that be crazy? Panic girl freaking her shit all over everyone’s golden boy. Don’t think that would go down too well with all the girls who love to worship at his feet. I must be hallucinating, because I feel his fingers curl around mine, tugging me away from the restroom and closer to his chest that looks like a real awesome place to rest my pounding head. The sudden close proximity of his body makes my pulse rate spike. Confusion swirls in my mind and I feel like a bug, ass-splatting against a windshield. “I just need to…” Oh God, I’m going to hurl a whole litter of cats! Keep your shit in, Mila. I pull free and drag my ass through the door. “Mila, hold up!” Clive Ross calls out as the door slams shut behind me. The ass just won’t give up! Why is it when you’re having a real shitty moment, everyone suddenly notices you? Oh, I’m going to blow chunks any second.

The comfort I felt with Liam fades fast. It’s only the darkness again. A shaky breath shudders through me, tears push up the back of my throat, thick and suffocating. I keep my head down. The toilets aren’t the ideal place to have a panic attack but it’s better than having it outside where every student I know can see me. It reeks of smoke and cheap deodorant. Girls come and go before their next class. I bite down on my teeth, swallowing hard, praying a damn stall will open fast. Oh God, let one open before I lose it. I suck in a shallow breath that rattles into my lungs only to come out wheezing a second later. The girl next to me gives me a sideways glance. I recognize her from one of my classes. Ally, I think, or is it April? I try to focus on her name but it sounds weird in my scrambled mind. Not much of anything is making sense right now. Who would name their daughter after a month? April. Hi, I’m April. A.P.R.I.L. I spell the name out, hoping it won’t sound as weird then, but it sounds absolutely crazy. I’m crazy. I’m losing it, and no one will come out so I can lose it in the privacy of a stinking stall! I can’t breathe! Shiiit, I can’t breathe! “It’s your turn.” Ally, or April, or whatever her name is says. Thank fuck! I run into the stall and slam the door closed, locking it behind me. Sagging down on the dirty floor, I try to find some shred of calmness inside me. I have to fight this, if only I knew how. It’s been six long years and still I can only fight the darkness for so long before it takes me. I start to rock myself, hoping the slight movement will calm my frail nerves. It’s ironic how it always finds me. It chases me down as if I’m nothing but some worthless animal, until I’m locked up again. Whether it’s in a filthy stall in a bathroom, or the room back at the compound, I’m always locked up in the end. I give myself over to the cold sweat trickling down my spine, the uncontrollable trembling, the numbing fear that reminds me that this life I’ve been living for the past few years is all just pretend. It’s nothing but a fantasy world that can come crashing down around me at any given moment. Someone just has to ask the wrong question. It can be the smallest thing and I’m on my knees, begging for forgiveness like a damn dog, having to explain why the ghosts from the past won’t leave me be. I’ll always be a sinner, begging for the forgiveness that will never come. I’m so scared they’ll find me. The fear weighs a ton and carrying it around all these years is starting to take its toll on me. The tears won’t come and it makes my eyes burn even more. I press my palms hard into my eye sockets and rub hard, needing some sort of relief. I want to scream and howl for my loss and pain. I rock harder, and the all too familiar stench wafts up my nostrils. I swallow hard on the bile pushing up from my churning stomach.

Fuck! What if they find me? I won’t survive back in the cult – not after tasting freedom. I’ll die. Shit, no. Stop! You have to stop remembering, Mila. Don’t go there! Don’t think about the cult. The first faint whisper breaks through my thoughts, threatening to drag me all the way down. ‘Daughter.’ A low raw moan claws its way up my throat. I wrap my arms around my knees in an attempt to console myself, to keep my body intact, because I might just shatter to pieces at the mere sound of those horrible monsters. “No!” I whisper hoarsely, stopping my train of thoughts. “Stop, don’t go there. Don’t think it. Don’t say it. If you say it, it’ll be real.” I keep rocking. I keep the steady motion going. I start to make feathery soft touches, up and down my arms, trying to soothe myself into some sort of calm state. “No, you don’t dare think of them,” I bite the words out, shaking my head when my mind starts to wander down the dark path again. “Do you have something to repent?” I rock myself hard to try and rid myself of the memories and fear. I slam my head against the wall between the two stalls. The pain is almost welcome. I drop my forehead to my knees, sucking air into my lungs. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t let them keep winning. I’m free of the cult. I’m free. I keep telling myself this, reminding myself that I’m safe, that they won’t come for me. Cathy has kept me hidden for so long. The cult has most probably forgotten about me. I have to keep telling myself that they wouldn’t keep looking for me after so many years. I remind myself of this, over and over, until I feel my heartbeat start to slow down. I feel my breaths ease against my legs until I can take deeper ones. I don’t move a muscle until the trembling stops, too. “You’re free. Get your ass up, Mila. You’re not that weak little kid anymore. You’re stronger than that. You survived them. You will survive this,” I whisper one more time, just to hear the words out loud. I push myself up against the wall, my shaky legs threatening to take me right back down to the filthy floor. Cathy sacrificed so much for me. She home schooled me the first two years after she rescued me. She taught me so much. She gave me a whole new life. I’ve asked her more than once why we can’t just go back to Utah and steal Claire from the cult. I’ve begged and even threatened to go on my own, but she’s right – Claire’s too young. It was hard enough for Cathy to keep me hidden until I was eighteen, but to kidnap and hide a thirteen year old? I’d be asking Cathy to risk her life and she’s already sacrificed so much for me. I have to wait until Claire is sixteen before I can attempt to rescue her. At the age of sixteen, Claire will have the same chances I did. She’ll be able to make something of herself, just like I’ve been doing.

I have to be patient. Just three more years. It will give me time to prepare for her arrival, to save up some money so I can provide for her. In the meantime, I get to study so I can try to get a good job. Cathy has become a mother to me. I’m lucky. I have people I can count on. I even have friends. I have dreams I’m lucky. I keep repeating this until the panic attack has totally faded. Reaching for the toilet paper, I tear a piece off to blow my nose. When I leave the stall, the place has emptied out. Looking at my watch, I’m relieved to see I’ve only spent ten minutes in here. I hate drawing attention to myself. I suppose I can still sneak in the back of the hall and make the last half of class. Hopefully no one will notice I was missing and I won’t have to explain anything. My eyes are puffy and my nose red, just great. I dig in my handbag for the powder I keep around for times like this, and try to cover up the damage as best I can. I drag a brush through my hair and spray myself. Yeah, I might as well add my share to the smell of cheap deodorant hanging in the air. I check myself one more time to make sure I look half decent. Besides, Harper will only drag my ass back if I look like crap. She has this way of thinking that if you look good you’re halfway to feeling good. If you look like crap you’re going to feel like crap. Just thinking about her motto makes me whip out some lip gloss so she doesn’t give me a hard time later. When I’m done doing damage control, I have full intentions of sneaking to the hall to make the class until I open the door. For a split second I think about slamming it closed and hauling ass back to the nearest stall. I’m so freaking tired. I don’t need this shit. I lean heavily against the door and sigh. I walk into the passage giving Clive the dirtiest look I can muster. The guy just doesn’t know the meaning of no.

Liam~ Fuck, I’m worried about Mila. I’m in the restroom, trying to buy some time. I’ve never wasted so much time in the restrooms before. Little Pete even offered me a smoke. There’s still no sign of Mila, and the only other person left out there is that dick Ross. It looks like the dude has a ruler rammed up his ass. I swear if I catch him sniffing around Mila one more time, I might just yank the ruler out and beat the living shit out of him with it. “No, Clive! No means no.” Mila’s tired voice yanks me right out of my thoughts. My eyes jump to where she’s standing, holding onto the door only a few feet from me.

She looks pale. She’s definitely not herself today, and the dickhead is begging for a beating, messing with my girl. I might not have made it official between Mila and myself yet, but it’s only a matter of time. The key word here is yet. The guys should know by now not to screw with Mila. Still, there seems to be the one odd dumbass who feels his balls are worth the sacrifice. “C’mon, Milly, it’s just one date,” the douche begs, pushing away from the wall. Wait? Milly? Where does he get off calling her that? She steps forward and I think about doing the same instead of standing here like a creeper, hiding behind the door. “My answer’s not going to change in five minutes.” She looks pissed as she starts to walk in my direction. Clive still won’t give up. He jogs up to her and grabs hold of her arm. Fuck, I wish I had Hunter here to back me. My cousin could deal with Ross, teach the dumbass a lesson once and for all while I’d take care of Mila. Between Hunter and me, Hunter’s more prone to violence. But as I watch Mila’s whole body tense and she tries to pull away from the creep, I see red. He’s going to die a slow death if he doesn’t take his hand off her. “It’s one party. You’re seriously not going to go to the party?” he asks, actually sounding upset with her for turning his ass down. Who does this asshole think he is, asking her to my party in the first place? Can’t he take no for an answer? Tell him to take a hike, Mila, or I’ll come and do it for you. My muscles are tense and my hands clenched, ready to knock Ross through a wall. “No, I’m not going,” she sighs. She yanks her arm from his. Hold up, she’s not going with him, or she’s not coming to my party? “I’m late for class.” She takes another step towards me, but the asshole must have the thickest skin in college, or some death wish, because he goes for her hand again. I’ve stood on the sidelines long enough. I shove the door out of my way, letting it bang against the wall. I give Ross a ‘back the fuck away’ look the second his head snaps in my direction. Yeah, that’s right. She’s my girl. I burn the message into him with a glare, and he wisely takes a step back. I have two reputations in college, one good, one not so good. I got both from being one of the four. It’s Mickey, Blake and Hunter, and then there’s me. The four of us rule this college. At least, we did for the last four years, but that’s coming to an end after today. You fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us. It’s a painful experience, to say the least. Mickey’s made a name for himself with the girls and thanks to him we got labeled the screw-crew.

The story of my life. I have friends who will have my back no matter what, but now Mila won’t give me the time of day, thanks to Mickey’s reputation. A smile splits across Ross’ face. “Liam, my man.” “Ross,” I don’t bother with his first name. He’s not my friend. I ignore the asshole and focus on Mila, “You feeling better? Ready to get out of here?” Her soft grey eyes widen. She’s shocked to see me. She’s always shocked to see me. I can never figure out why. Her mouth opens and closes a few times and then she starts to do that thing I love so much. She twirls her watch on her left wrist, inching it up and down. It’s quick movements. She has the most beautiful hands I’ve ever seen. Her petite fingers that flutter to move her watch can send me into a trance. She clears her throat, dragging my eyes up to her full lips. “I-I … ah,” she stammers. I’m sure she’s thinking ‘what the hell, not another douche.’ I better do something before she kicks my ass to the curb in front of Ross. I move in and throw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my side. There is no way I’m letting Ross-The-Perv have another shot at her. It must be my lucky day, because she doesn’t pull away. In fact, I feel her lean into my side and it gives me the courage to hold her a little tighter. I wish Ross was MIA. The first time I get to hold Mila and he has to be watching. This sucks. “Later, Ross,” I mumble over my shoulder, wanting to get rid of his ass as quick as possible. I steer Mila in the direction of class. We always have our last class together on Fridays. I need to find out if she’s coming tonight. When we’re out of hearing distance I lean in closer to her. Dammit, I love the smell of her, something soft and flowery. It always makes me think of those wild flowers you see growing in open fields on postcard pictures. She looks wild and free, but soft like those flowers. I lean in more until her silky hair brushes my chin. My girl, all sweet. Bet she’ll taste sweet all over as well. I grow hard just thinking about tasting her. I want this girl more than I want my next breath. I have to clear my throat to make sure my voice doesn’t sound like it’s breaking. The last thing I need is to sound like a damn love-struck teenager. “Nothing says awkward like a guy begging, but did you mean what you said back there?” There’s a flush creeping up her cheeks. I’m really glad she’s looking better. She had me worried there for a few minutes. “Which part?” Glancing up at me, her eyes catch mine. If I lean in a little more, I’d be able to kiss her. Damn, I want to kiss her. I want to taste her so bad.

“Liam?” “Yeah?” She smiles, and I feel like an idiot for staring at her. “Oh yeah … ah…” I rub the back of my neck, “The part where you said you’re not coming to my party.” “I’m definitely not going anywhere with Clive. Thanks, by the way, for that back there. He just wouldn’t give up.” I pull her to a stop outside the hall. I’m not ready to let go of her yet. She turns into me and it brings our bodies so much closer. We both freeze - me with my one arm around her shoulder and my other hand hanging carelessly from my neck, and her standing a mere inch from me. Fuck, I can’t even breathe. “He’s a little persistent, if you know what I mean,” she whispers softly and I feel the heat of her breath seep into my t-shirt. She’s trying to go on as if nothing is happening. I should just play along. Rule number one. Don’t embarrass a girl. But this is Mila. We’ve been doing this for two years now. I take a step forward and she takes one back. I’m so tired of this dance we keep doing around each other. She belongs with me. I have to say something to keep her from running. “Is being persistent a bad thing?” Why do I want to know this? Oh yeah, because I’m about to be persistent myself. I’m not going to back down this time. “Depends on the guy - I suppose,” she says, dropping her voice to a husky whisper as she slips from under my arm just like she did earlier. She sneaks through the open door into the hall. Like I said, it’s always a step backwards with Mila. It’s time for action. I’m leaving for the University of Chicago after summer break. We only have a few weeks and I’ll be damned if I’m going to leave my girl here thinking she’s not mine. Everybody better be clear about that the day I leave.

Mila~ Mr. Rawlins drones on about how we can each make a difference, we are all unique in our own way, yada, yada, bla, bla“So are the three of you coming tonight … to the party at our place?” The whisper jolts me from my thoughts. I turn my head up and at first I just stare. I don’t know what it is about him, Liam Wright. This guy does it to me every time. He has a way of turning my world upside down. The first time I saw him, I thought it was the beginning of a panic attack, but instead of going cold, there was a strange warmth that spread through my insides, turning them into a sentimental mush and not the usual pile of pulp. Liam is like the mother of all firecrackers. He detonates somewhere between my left lung and heart, leaving a mess inside of me every single time. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a good thing. It’s a confusing thing. A thing that leaves me speechless at times, or babbling like an idiot, but mostly running. I’m good at running. Better yet, I’m excellent at hiding. I use my friend Harper as a shield, but seeing as they are nowhere in sight right now, I might be slightly screwed. That leaves me with speechless or babbling. “The … party? Your party? Ahh - I’m not sure. Harper is still thinking about it. She’s always in two minds about stuff - until the last minute. You know Harper.” Babbling it is then. Ugh. I even top it off with an embarrassing little nervous laugh. How lame of me. I stop myself just in time from dropping my face into my hands. Instead, I settle for fidgeting with my watch. It calms me down seeing as I can’t run or hide right now. Liam smiles a smile that melts his dark brown eyes, and my knees. My breathing speeds right back

up. That’s why I confused it with a panic attack the first time it happened. I can’t blame any girl for reacting that way. Most girls have breathing problems when it comes to Liam, or Mickey, or Blake, or Hunter. If you ask my opinion, those four boys are just a dangerous combination in this college and should come with a health warning. But out of the four, Liam is my weakness. He has been ever since we met in this very class two years back. “And you?” he asks. His smile stretches more, forming a dimple in his right cheek. Shit, the dimple. He’s pulling out the big guns. He pushes a hand through his rich dark brown hair, leaving it unruly. My fingers itch to join his, to feel if it’s really as soft as it looks. Now I really can’t stop staring. Holy Moly, I’m in too deep! I go from nodding to blinking. Did Liam just ask me if I’m going to his party? Just the idea that he might want me there makes a gazillion butterflies take flight in the region of my stomach. Gosh, I have it bad for this guy. “I’m not sure.” I’d like to go, really. I mean, it’s Liam’s party, for crying out loud, but I don’t really go out at night. I stay indoors … in my room … with my light on … where it’s safe. I only go out when I really, really have to, and then the place better be lit up like the Fourth of July. Fine, I’ll admit it! I’m a chicken-shit. One who is shit scared of the dark thanks to all the times that insane cult locked me in that room just because I was having my period. They saw it as a shameful event that was inflicted on women once a month to remind them that they weren’t blessed with carrying a child. Liam cocks an eyebrow but before he can say more, Mickey leans around him, interrupting us. “You’re full of shit, Jameson. Everyone’s gonna be at the party. Tell Harper to get her ass over there or I’m gonna drag her there myself, and then she’ll have to pay me for driving her. You might as well come along. You chicks like to travel in packs, hold hands in the toilets, that kinda shit.” He throws his arm around Liam’s shoulder and smiles as if he’s just solved a problem. “See, that way, they’ll both come.” I can’t help but smile. Mickey’s just playing with me. They shouldn’t even be in this class but seeing as it’s the last day, all rules are out the window. The four of them seem to already be in party mode. “And how will she have to pay you, Mickey?” I decide to play along. Harper is going to owe me for this. Big time. Harper and Mickey have been flirting with each other the entire year, but for some reason, Mickey’s just not biting. He smiles seductively and it can only promise good things for her. “I’ll think of something.” I cross my arms over my chest, lean back into my chair and try to look calm while my heart is pounding off the charts on behalf of Harper. I really don’t know how to do this flirting thing. This is more

her scene. “You don’t have the guts, Mickey. The day you show up at our house to drag Harper to a party is the day hell freezes over. You’ve been pissing a circle around her all year, but you never make a move. What makes you think I’m going to believe you now?” Hunter chokes on his laughter behind them. “Mickey, you just had your ass handed to you,” he slaps Mickey on his shoulder before Mickey gets up and comes to sit on the right side of me. Mr. Rawlins stops his babbling and glares in our direction before he turns back to the board. Yeah, I might just have taken on the bull by his horns. On second thought, now might be a good time to high-tail my ass out of here. Mickey throws his arm around my neck and pulls me into his side. So much for making a run for it. “Are you daring me, little Mila? Because it’s a dare you’re going to lose.” “Nope.” I pop the ‘p’. Thank God he can’t hear how chicken-shit I really am. Time to put on the brave face. Can’t let these guys see that I’m intimidated by them. After all, we’re in a class filled with students. What can they do? I poke Mickey in the chest. I can’t believe where this bout of bravery is coming from. Harper better be making dinner for the next week. “I’m telling you, Michael Hayes,” I say his full name for more effect. “You don’t have the guts,” I spell it out for him, slowly. “I think you’re scared of Harper.” Hunter laughs again and it makes my own smile grow bigger. You can’t help but smile when Hunter starts laughing. He has one of those infectious laughs. “Five. I’ll be at your house at five to drag her ass to that party.” Suddenly the bravery is gone, and Mickey’s easy banter is missing in action. Shit! He’s all serious, a crease forming between his eyes. “How will she pay?” I ask again, growing nervous for my best friend. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. These guys don’t play around. They can have any girl they want. Their motto is sex first, name later. I mean, we’re talking the screw-crew of Bloomington here. What if Mickey expects too much from Harper? Oh shit, I clearly didn’t think this through. The panic must show on my face because Mickey’s smile widens and his blue eyes light up like a Christmas tree. The bell rings and everyone takes to their feet. Not thinking, I get up and walk out into the aisle just as a group of jocks in my direction, heading for the main exit. I hardly have time to react when the first guy slams into me. “Watch it,” he barks before his elbow connects with my side. I’m shoved out of the way and into Mickey. Strong fingers wrap around my arm, pulling me back into the row, and then I’m squashed between

Mickey’s back and Liam’s chest. One of the guys bumps into Mickey, causing him to stumble backwards and into me. Mickey’s elbow connects with my chest in a hard blow. “Ow … shit,” I wheeze as soon as I manage to get my breath back. I hear Mickey growl something and I’m shoved harder into Liam’s chest. “Watch it, asshole!” Mickey threatens someone, and his tone alone is enough to make me cower away from him. Finally, we get our turn to leave the class but just as we step into the hallway, another group of guys comes running towards us, hollering. Friday afternoons are a big thing around here. I try to find a spot I can burrow my ass into so I’m not in their way when Liam takes hold of my hips and pushes me up against the wall. Someone slams into his back, shoving his body right up against mine. His body - right up against mine. Sigh. Something explodes inside of me, like a mini volcano erupting, somewhere close to my ovaries. Pure pleasure blasts through me. All of Liam is pressed up against me. His fingers are digging into my hips. My breasts are flattened against his chest. I bring my hands up to brace myself and can only grip hold of his sides. Hard muscles beneath my fingertips. I’m about to freak my shit in a good way. At this rate I’m going to leave an imprint of myself on him. He places his right arm next to my head to keep from squashing me. Having him lean over me like this is doing something to my heartbeat. No, scratch that shit, all my senses are short-circuiting. I only feel Liam’s arm around me, the length of his body pressed against mine as he covers me against the wall. People keep bumping into us but I don’t care. Every time it happens, Liam holds me tighter. I’m standing in Liam’s arms. I’m surrounded by his smell, his masculine woodsy scent, something natural, not spicy like most of the other guys drown themselves in. Maybe I passed out in the toilets from the panic attack and I’m delusional. Maybe I’ve finally lost it. Maybe I should stop this shit and just enjoy feeling his hard body against mine. I’m in freaking heaven! I can feel his hard muscles under my fingertips, every solid inch of Liam. Heat swirls in my stomach and pushes all the way up to my neck. “Mila.” Shit. No! Don’t talk to me now, not while I’m drooling over you.

Dammit, he’s going to see how overwhelmingly aware I am of him. My plan to fly under the radar can’t backfire now. I’ve been doing such a good job of hiding my feelings for him. I clear my throat and suck in a deep breath, hoping to cool myself down before he can feel the heat waves coming from my body. His hand wraps around the back of my neck. His thumb skims the heated skin under my ear, sending a lightening streak straight to the spot between my legs. That’s me, I’m done for. No use in trying to hide anything anymore. He tips my head back and I have no choice but to look into his penetrating eyes. As our eyes meet and lock, a jolt shoots through my stomach. Aww shiiit. I’m so screwed right now. Harper always says I should be careful to not wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m hoping that the thing is nowhere near my eyes, because I get a feeling Liam sees way more than is good for me.

Liam~ The guys think I’m crazy for wanting Mila for so long, but I can’t help it. I believe in fate. It was fate that Mila came to the same college as me. I believe you can’t choose who you fall in love with, that fate does that for you. Since I saw her that first day, hiding behind Nathan, I was lost. She has always been the girl for me. It sucks when you can have anybody, except for the one you want. Mickey wants Harper and I want Mila, yet for some reason these are the two girls we can’t seem to have, and I don’t know why. Looking down at her, I can honestly say the only reason I haven’t asked her out is because I don’t want to hear that no come out of her mouth. It would crush me. But today is our last day. I’m all out of tomorrows. I have no other choice but to ask her. I have to take a chance and pray that fate is on my side. It’s not that I’m scared of a challenge. I mean, damn, I’m going to be studying my ass off for the next three years. It’s definitely not the challenge I’m afraid of. It’s because she’s so breathtakingly beautiful. She’s kind, shy, hell, she’s everything I want in that mysterious way of hers. Her silky, brown hair falls to just beneath her shoulders. I swear I’m obsessed with this girl. I rush to class, happy to see her every day, happy when she said no to all those douchebags who dared to ask her out. As long as she said no everything was okay. As long as I could see her, everything

was okay. Everything’s not okay anymore. No more sitting next to her in class. I won’t be seeing Mila tomorrow. Unless… Mickey bumps into me again as he tries to get our attention. Time’s up, and I’m still staring at her. But then it dawns on me - Mila is staring back, her cheeks flushed a soft rosy pink. That’s a good sign, right? “Hey, lovebirds!” Hunter hollers from the door for everyone to hear. “They’re gonna lock us in if we don’t haul ass now,” Yeah, I’m going to kill my cousin. “Oh,” Mila gasps, and the moment is gone. “I-I …” Her cheeks redden some more. I bite down on my teeth so I don’t snap at Hunter in front of Mila. Instead, I give him a look that tells him to run. I’m going to bust in his face the first chance I get. I shove the thought of killing my cousin back for now and focus on my girl. “Are you okay?” I know I should let her go, but instead I cling to her, taking every second I can get. I don’t want her to think I’m a creep so I move my hand from her hip and let go of her neck, letting them both hang listlessly at my sides. This sucks. All I want to do is hold her. I should have the right to hold her whenever I want to. “You keep asking me that today.” She uncurls her fingers from my sides and I miss her touch immediately. “I do? Is that a bad thing?” My heart spasms as a shy smile transforms her face to that innocent look she always has. Damn, I love that look. It makes her eyes look bigger. I could stare at her for hours, but that would be super-stalkerish. “I guess not.” She reaches up and tucks some hair behind her ear, giving me a clear view of her face. “Thanks, for … ahh … ” She points to the side, then wiggles a finger between us. Her cheeks flush again, and I have to admit, this girl is fucking stunning. “For keeping you from getting squashed?” I help her out. “Yeah, that.” She bites the inside of her cheek, looking more uncomfortable by the second. “Well...” Rocking forward on her feet, she comes to within an inch of me. My body feels the pull of hers and I can’t help but reach for her. My fingers curl around her hips and all I want to do is pull her body into mine. I want to feel every inch of her again. She feels so good against me. I wouldn’t mind another stampede right about now so we can be squashed against the wall.

I want to hear her breathe my name. Damn, I want this girl with every drop of my blood pulsing in my veins. She seems to realize how close she’s standing to me and rocks back into the wall. Her gaze jumps to something behind me. I glance over my shoulder and see that Harper is talking to Mickey. I hear Mila take a deep breath and then she calls out, “Harper.” Do I make her uncomfortable? Dammit, I hope not. That would suck balls. I deflate at the thought and take a step back. She slips past me with a murmured, ‘See ya.’ I wipe a hand over my face as Mila hooks her hand through Harper’s arm, smiling brightly. There’s a stabbing sensation in my heart. I clench my jaw, pissed at myself. I can’t believe I’m fucking jealous of Harper. I want to be the one to make Mila smile. How stupid am I for wanting Mila to hook her arm through mine instead of Harper’s? I shove past Mickey and slam my arm around Hunter’s neck on the way out. “Lovebirds? What are you, like two years old?” I hiss, so only he will hear as I force him to walk with me. He chuckles and jabs me one in the ribs. Everything is a joke to my cousin, and since we’ve enrolled at the University of Chicago, Hunter’s been relentless. It’s as if he’s trying to be the opposite of Blake, his twin brother. I’m only a few months older than them, otherwise we’d be able to pass as triplets. We all have dark brown hair with brown eyes. You can see we’re family a mile away. Blake wants to backpack through Europe while Hunter and I will be finishing our studies so we can take over Uncle Julian’s law firm in the city. Uncle Julian is Dad’s older brother and Hunter and Blake’s dad. I can thank my lucky stars that he was there for us after Rosie’s death. It was also Uncle Julian’s idea that Dad opened the workshop here in Bloomington. It keeps him busy, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Mickey’s going to work with Dad, so at least my best friend will be here to keep an eye on my old man. “You need to get Mila laid before we leave in the fall. Once we start, there will be no time for chicks. You can’t go all loaded, cuz. That shit just ain’t right. It will screw with your head. You’re a walking sperm bomb. One thought of her and you might explode.” He cracks up at his own joke, but this shit’s not funny. I turn into him so my body catches him as I land my fist in his stomach. He wheezes into my shoulder and I hold him to me by his neck. “Don’t go talking shit about Mila. I don’t care what you say about me, but you keep your mouth shut where she’s concerned.” Just then Mickey comes out. His eyes go wide the second he sees the look on my face. I pat Hunter once on the back and push away from him. Mila’s eyes catch mine for a split-second before I stalk toward the exit. Blake said he would organize the kegs, so at least that’s one less thing to worry about.

Sadie, Hunter and Blake’s younger sister, is a sweetheart. She’s helping with the rest of the snacks. I’d be seriously fucked without my cousins. Uncle Julian saved our lives when he let us move in with them. He gave me a place to belong again … a family. I’ll never be able to thank him enough. “You have to tell me how I’m gonna pay first. I won’t set foot near your car before you tell me,” I hear Harper say. “Okay, babe,” Mickey says. His voice is in full panty-dropping-mode. Harper doesn’t know what she’s in for. He’s going to have her dropping her panties for him before the night is over. That reminds me, he better take his own truck. No way he’s doing her in mine. “You have to go out on the lake with me tonight.” Like I said, he has her. “That’s it,” Harper laughs. “A stupid canoe ride?” “Baby, have you ever been out at night? You’re gonna beg me to grip you tight. Us sitting under the stars.” Mickey’s voice has gone all seductive and I can’t help but smile. He’s pulling out all the stops with Harper. I hear Mila laugh and I glance over my shoulder to see her face. She’s focused on what’s happening between Mickey and Harper, a soft smile playing around her full pink lips. Hunter runs past us, yodeling like a damn mad man. Everything’s already forgotten between us. That’s my cousin, the joker of Bloomington. He’s already in party mode. He almost loses his footing as he takes the corner and slams into the doors up ahead. “See ya dumbasses later!” he hollers, taking off through the exit. I don’t know where he gets all the energy from. He’s always running. “Like I was saying,” Mickey continues after Hunter passed through, “then the night swallows us and you cling to me, your nails digging hard into me. You might just remove some skin as we start to make out. You’ll be on your knees and begging me to take you, babe” Mila suddenly darts past me and beats me to the door. Her face is pale, and there’s no sign of the laughter I just saw behind me. What the hell upset her? She gets to the door and shoves at it, but it doesn’t even budge. She’s so small a wind can blow her over. I lean over her and slam the door once. It pops open and I hate that I didn’t get to savor the moment of opening a door for her, as I’m too absorbed by Mila’s weird behavior. “Thanks,” she mumbles and then she darts under my arm and out the door. Fuck, she’s going to leave. This is it. My whole world spins into slow motion. My breathing speeds up and I feel my heart fracture as she walks away without even looking at me. This can’t be it. This can’t be the end of Mila and me. Dammit, Mila, look back!

She hunches her shoulders, like she always does, and only increases her pace. I slam my hand into the door so it bangs open. I can’t let her leave. I can’t leave us like this. I’ve got to do something. I swing to Mickey and Harper. “You’re coming tonight, right?” Harper looks at me, stunned by the urgency in my voice. When she doesn’t answer, I take a step in Mila’s direction. I can’t let her leave without knowing I’ll see her again. “Harper, are you coming tonight?” “Yes.” She frowns at me. “What’s up with you dude?” I don’t care how crazy I look right now, I need to know. “Will Mila come with you?” “I don’t know. She never goes to parties-” That’s all the info I need to hear to light a fire under my ass. I break out into a sprint, my thumping heart chases down every step I take to close the distance between us. She’s already halfway to the parking area when I slam through the exit. “Mila!” I break out into a full blown sprint to catch up to her. Grabbing hold of her arm, I block her from taking one more step that will take her further away from me. Mila wipes over her face before looking up at me. Is she crying? When I get a good look at her face, there are no signs of tears. Her eyes look sad, though. Am I sick for hoping that she’s sad about us? “You have to come tonight,” the words burst from me. I’m about to pull a Mickey on her and drag her to the party if I have to. “Liam?” Confusion flits over her face. She really has no idea how I feel about her. How can this girl not know how I feel about her after all these months? “Everyone is going to be there tonight, Mila. It’s our last chance to be together.” It’s our last chance to be together. I’m willing her to see that. I should just grow a pair and tell her. Why is it so hard to tell her, to just ask her to come with me? She looks away to the side where a bunch of girls are standing, watching this thing between us play out. I should’ve done this inside, not here where the grapevine of Bloomington can see it. “I don’t know, Liam. A party isn’t exactly my scene.” She tugs at her shirt, pulling it up her shoulder, but the thing just falls off again. I love the shirts she wears. They always hang down from her one of her shoulders. Then her words register. It’s not a no. She didn’t say no. “You don’t have to swim. Just come. Just-” I shove my hands through my hair. The air hisses through my teeth as I expel a frustrated breath.

Bite the bullet. Just do it. It’s now or never. She squints up at me, the sun catching her eyes. Instinctively I take a step to the right, shading her. She smiles, a real damn smile. “Thanks.” A flare of bravery streaks through my chest at the sight of her smile. Screw this, I can do it. I’ll never know if I don’t ask her. Balls to the wall and all that shit. A gust of wind catches her hair, blowing it into her face. I reach out and finger some strands, brushing them away from her cheek. Gulping some air down, I just spit it out, “Come for me. I want you there. Come spend time with me.” There. I said it. It’s done. There’s no taking it back now. My stomach drops into my balls. My lungs shrivel to the size of dried raisins, no use trying to even breathe. A loud heartbeat thumps in my ears as the endless seconds tick down the moment to her answer. Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips, and it draws my eyes to her mouth. Damn, I’ve had fantasies about that mouth. “Okay.” Wait - what? Did she just agree? “Really?” I squeak like a mouse. Way-to-go. So much for acting all cool when it counts most. Liam, you’re a stupid dumbass! “Uh … yes.” She says the actual word, yes. My face splits into a home run smile. I’m the first guy to get a yes out of Mila Jameson. “Liam, what’s up, man?” Mickey yells behind me. I ignore him and keep my eyes on hers. “Thanks, Mila. I’ll pick you up at five?” It’s a spontaneous move on my part. It might be the carefree feeling that comes with today being our last day, or because she said yes, but I lean down and wrap my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. I just want to feel her one more time. Her body tenses as she sucks in a breath. Then she brings her arms up between us, and for a second I think she’s going to push me away. But her hands keep going up, past my neck, and my day goes from black and white to 3D fucking multi-colored. She’s hugging me back. Mila is holding me. I bury my face in her neck and take in everything about this moment- the feel of her tiny body pressed against mine, the fresh smell of her, the silky feel of her hair against my cheek. Fuck, her hair is soft. I soak it all in. But most of all I take in the fact that I have to let go of her first. She didn’t push me away. Screeching tires make her glance over her shoulder, to where Hunter is spinning his wheels. Trust

my cousin to ruin another perfect moment for me. Harper comes to stand next to us and it’s the final thing to break us apart. Mila’s arms slip away from me and she takes a step back. “See y’all at five,” Harper calls, her eyes on Mickey behind me. She pulls on Mila’s arm, and I’d like to think Mila would still be standing in front of me if Harper didn’t pull her away. I watch them walk to where Nathan is waiting by his Ford. Just as Mila gets in, she looks back at me, and she smiles. Hell yeah! She looked back. She smiled. “She’s got you by the nuts,” Mickey says. He pats me on the back, shakes his head and walks in the direction of my truck. “Yeah? Like Harper hasn’t been owning yours for the past year,” I call after him. Running, I jump on his back and grab him around the neck. “Fuck, you’re heavy, get off. You’re gonna break my back, and then I’ll be useless tonight.” “She said yes.” The excitement hits me all over again. I pump my fist into the air and almost whoop like a douche. “She did. It’s about time you grew a pair and asked her.” “Shit, we have a lot to do before we have to pick them up.” “Hey, lovebirds, get your asses in the truck. Blake just phoned, he needs help moving the kegs,” Hunter hollers. This is our last few weeks together before Mickey starts to work with Dad. Hunter and I have to move all our shit to the university and Blake will leave for Europe. This is my last few precious weeks I’ll have with Mila. I have to make them count.



Mila~ “He hugged you, twice!” Harper shrieks, her body’s twisted around the passenger seat so she can see my face. “Looked more like he was trying to get into her pants,” Nathan growls. He looks annoyed, but then, he’s been pretty much pissed off with the whole world lately. Nathan is my neighbor, and it’s just by chance that he’s been studying at the same place. Nathan keeps failing. I don’t know what his plans are for his future but he doesn’t seem to be taking anything serious. Cathy asked him to give us a ride to and from college. I’m so glad today’s the last day. The guy gives me the creeps. “Sooo,” Harper shrugs, “your point being?” Dang, Harper still hasn’t learned to just let Nathan be. He’s been overdoing the big brother thing with her lately, and sometimes it’s just better to let him have his little rant than bait him. “My point?” he snaps. “You gonna sit there and tell me you’re okay with Liam rubbing his dick up all over Mila in front of the whole college?” “Jeez, Nathan!” I gasp. “Crude much?” “Yeah, I’d be okay with that,” Harper adds more fuel to the fire. I squeeze myself up between their seats to put out the flames. “Technically, the first one wasn’t a hug. You know I like Liam, so try to be nice, would you? I got squashed between Mickey and him. He was just being nice, keeping me from being trampled. You don’t have to be so ugly about it, Nathan. Besides, you have no say over my life. I get to date who I want. You’re not the boss of me.” I’ll never let a man control me again so Nathan can take his control issues and go fuck himself. I glare at him for extra effect. Cathy says that you should never show you’re scared. If all else fails, then I should fake bravery. She says no one will know the difference and that’s all that matters – fake it until I make it.

“Spin that shit anyway you want. He had you so tight against that wall, I could feel the heat cooking between the two of you.” Harper fans herself. I can’t blame her. It felt pretty hot, but now is not the time to talk about it. Not when I’m trying to calm Nathan. Nathan mumbles something and scowls, but he seems to be calmed down for now. I smile like an idiot and rest my chin on my arm that’s braced between the two seats. I still can’t believe how the day went down. Liam really hugged me. Damn, Liam really asked me out! “I don’t know why he hugged me. I’m still in shock that he asked me to the party. He just leaned down and wham! He was hauling my butt in for a hug. I didn’t know what to do at first. I almost peed my pants,” I laugh, feeling silly but exited that this is really happening. Even saying it out loud makes it sound surreal. Maybe I’ll wake up in my bed and this whole last day will just be one weird dream. “I can’t believe they’re picking us up.” Harper bounces in her seat, her green eyes sparkling with the same excitement that’s bubbling through my veins. “So what? Now I have to go alone?” Nathan snaps. He slams his foot on the gas, making the car roar forward. My body and neck snaps back, while Harper tumbles forwards and slams into the dash. “Nathan, what the fuck, dude?” Harper punches his arm and then quickly straps herself in. The easy vibe is gone. I rub the back of my neck where a dull ache is starting to form. I’m so glad I don’t have to drive around with him anymore. “You guys just made plans, not even thinking of me.” Nathan is clearly pissed now. When his eyes narrow to angry slits like that, it’s not good. I turn my face away, focusing on the scenery outside my window. It won’t even help to get into it with Nathan now. “You can come along. I don’t see why you’re making such an issue out of this. We’re all going to the same party. It’s Liam’s party. He’s picking up Mila and Mickey dared me. We’re still going to be a group when we get there,” she huffs. The second Nathan stops the car in the driveway, I’m out. Harper follows, slamming the door shut. “Don’t slam my fucking door!” Nathan screams after her. I walk faster so I can get away from him. I wish he would go to his own house.

Yeah, so much for wishful thinking. Nathan has only gotten worse, slamming doors all over the house like he actually has a right to be here. I wish he’d just go to his house and sulk there. Cathy got home ten minutes ago and had to sit him down. I don’t know what she said to him, but he seemed calmer when he left. He’s like a virus you just can’t get rid of. “Come on, you have to get dressed. Mickey and Liam will be here in twenty,” I remind Harper, as

she flops down on my bed after doing her make up. She curls up into a fetal position instead of getting up. She pretty much moved in here when she turned eighteen. Her parents don’t seem to care. They know she’s here. Her father is a big shot businessman. He has his fingers dipped into any-and-everything, and her mother checked out of the reality zone a while back. Raising Harper’s down-syndrome sister was a bitter pill for her to swallow and she’s never recovered. Now Harper only goes home to check on her little sister, otherwise she pretty much lives in the guest room here with us. Yeah, not all families are perfect. I let her talk about it whenever she feels like it. Sometimes, I think she only talks about her life in the hopes that I will talk about mine, but I never do. I never will. It hurts too much knowing I left Claire behind in that hell hole. There’s also the fear that follows me like a shadow – the fear that the cult will finally find me and bring a horrible end to this amazing life I’m busy discovering. No one knows about my past, except for Cathy and she only knows because she’s the journalist who saved me. Cathy even went as far as having a fake identity and drivers license made for me through a contact she picked up over her years of being in journalism. We kept my first name but she gave me her last name, Jameson. We needed the I.D so I could enroll for classes. Cathy risked everything for me. Nathan and Harper know that I’m terrified of the dark, but they don’t know the reason why. They know about the panic attacks. With Harper living in the same house as me, she’s picked up on some of the triggers. They know I avoid the dark and small spaces but they don’t know that it’s because the order locked me up once a month. It kills me to know that the same thing is happening to Claire. I have to go back for my sister. I won’t be able to forgive myself if I just leave her there. I just have to hold out until she’s sixteen. I have to get a good job so I can provide for her wherever we end up running to. It’s so hard waiting, but I have to force myself to be patient. “Nathan will only spoil tonight,” Harper mumbles, her face turned into my pillow. “So you want to stay home? Because I’m good with watching a movie.” “Nooo, you’re going! You can’t bail on Liam.” She sits up, then scoots to the end of the bed. Heaving a heavy sigh, she pushes herself off the edge and walks over to my dresser. “So how will I dress ya, pretty mamma?” She pouts, and starts to make kissing noises. She just wants to see me get laid. I swear, it’s her one sole purpose in life. “You know you don’t have one single dress,” she muses after tossing half my clothes on the floor. “And your point is?” I’ve avoided wearing dresses since the order. Wearing pants is my way of rebelling against them. She turns to face me, takes one look, and bursts out laughing. “You should see your face. You’re making fish lips, too.” I am? She’s right, I am. Watching her do it, I unconsciously started to pout my lips. “Oh, suck on it.” I walk over to her and start to ruffle through the clothes on the floor. “I’m

thinking my cut-offs and these.” I hold up a white three-quarter sleeve shirt. “Really? Ugh,” she snubs at it. “I’m thinking this.” She holds up one of her black tube tops that can pass for a bra. How that thing landed between my clothes, only she will know. “Yeah …ah … no. Ugh, I might as well go in a bra then. Nice try throwing it in there, though.” “Oh, c’mon. Just because you’re a virgin, you don’t have to look like one.” I lift an eyebrow, pop out a hip and jab my fist on it, giving her my what the fuck pose. “You didn’t just throw me being a virgin in my face? Are you really going to start that shit again?” I throw my hands up, then settle back into my pissed off pose. “What the hell, Harper? You calling me a nun just because I won’t wear your tube?” “Name one guy you’ve gone to first base with.” She’s been on my case about this since we started college together. My eyebrow drops and I straighten out. So we’re going to do this shit again? I resist the urge to flop down on the bed and take cover under my pillows. “And that does not include your wet dreams of Liam,” she taunts. Yeah well, shit. That about narrows it down to zero. “Screw you,” I throw back at her. The only reason I haven’t told her about my ‘almost’ one time is because it was a mistake. It was one of those gawky teenage experiments that took the express way to awkward. Squeeze a boob, and the second he cupped me between the legs we knew it wouldn’t go any further. I couldn’t even look him in the eye afterwards. Talk about experimenting with the wrong guy. Uh-eww-no! “I’m not that way inclined,” she snickers. But then she keeps going. “Name one, Mila. Just one guy you’ve kissed.” We get into this fight often because she’s still under the impression that I’ve never been kissed. “Actually, you know what,” she goes on, “you’re more like Mother Theresa. The Virgin Mary at least kissed Joseph. You’re like in the nun zone still.” I grab the cut-offs, tops and clean underwear, and stomp towards the door. “You can’t even get changed in front of me. I bet the Virgin Mary got changed in front of the other Mary’s,” she keeps going. My shoulders slump because that was the ultimate low blow. We’ve been friends for two years. I have no reason to not trust Harper. She’s shared all her secrets with me. I know she lost her virginity to Mason Eckhart when she was seventeen. He was some guy she went to school with. I was also the first to know about her crush on Mickey. I have no reason to not trust her. I should open up to her … for once. I suck in a deep breath of air and hope to God I’m doing the right thing. “I kissed Nathan. It was stupid, and only once. A year after I got here. It was a big mistake. It’s like kissing your brother. We burst out laughing afterward. Talk about aww-kwaaard.” I don’t turn around

to see her reaction. “You never told me,” she murmurs with an undertone of sadness in her voice. I didn’t expect her to sound hurt. I’m a shitty friend. I know I am. I should’ve told her sooner. “I was fifteen and stupid. We were talking one night and I told him I’ve never been kissed. It just happened, and believe me, it never should’ve.” “Why didn’t you tell me? I told you about all mine.” I never expected her to sound so hurt. Maybe surprised, but not hurt. I brace myself, because what I’m about to do next should take her mind of that topic. I grip hold of the hem of my shirt. Taking a deep breath, I slowly lift it. It feels as if my stomach is inching up with the material, squashing my thumping heart into the small cavity space of my chest. I hear her suck in a sharp breath as the material slides away from my lower back and over my head. I keep going, getting undressed, and then putting on the clothes for the party, although I’m not so sure about going anymore. This day has been too much of a rollercoaster ride already. “Oh My God!” I keep my back to her. I don’t want to face her and see pity in her eyes. “Mila,” she finally whispers in a tiny hoarse voice. I can hear the tears, thick and heavy. Regret trickles down my spine. The last thing I want is for her to cry for me. She has enough shit in her own life to deal with. I just wanted to give her enough so she would stop asking questions. I suppose it backfired on me. I walk over to my desk so I can check my make-up. I didn’t put on much, only a little powder, waterproof mascara and lip gloss. Maybe I should tie my hair, but then I see Harper’s reflection in the mirror. I stop, slouch back in the chair and huff a sigh. This is why I never talked to her about any of my past. This is why I hide the scars on my lower back left by all the times I’ve been whipped for being sinful. She’s looking at me the exact same way Cathy did. That look of pity. The one everyone has when they see something gruesome in the world they can’t wrap their minds around. First they freeze up, then their faces split with a deep ache, as if they were there, suffering along with me. I can’t understand why they feel pain for me if they weren’t there. I watch her first tear fall and roll over her almost perfect white skin. Her whole face crumbles, and she heaves as a silent sob rakes through her. Cathy was the first person to treat me like an actual human being. Then Harper came along, and I discovered what it was like to have a friend. Everyone at college treated me like I’m just another girl because none of them know about the cult. Now Harper’s seen the scars and the pity in her eyes is enough to choke me.

I’ve worked so hard over the past six years to become someone, and especially in the last two years. I won’t let Harper pity me, and I’m certainly not ready to talk to her about any of that shit that happened back at the order. “I don’t want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. Please don’t ask me about it and don’t mention it to anyone.” The tension between us is so thick you can taste the bitterness in the air. She nods wildly as she wipes at her cheeks. She drops down to the floor and without a word starts to gather all the clothes. Her movements become jerky. All of a sudden a loud sob escapes her. The sound makes me cringe. I didn’t mean to upset her like this. She throws the clothes into the corner, slumps down onto her butt, and just sits. Another soft sob drifts through the room. I cringe when she breaks down. I shouldn’t have shown her. Shit! Harper wipes her cheeks again. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to stop. It’s …” She doesn’t stop. She does the one thing I can’t even do for myself. She cries for me. It hurts to watch my best friend cry. I want her to stop so badly. Every tear is like a path of acid river to those dark gates of hell in my soul. It feeds the monster the cult left behind in me. “Hey, hon,” I try to hush her. “Please don’t. You have to stop.” She doesn’t. Her tears keep falling and my hurt changes into anger. There is nothing I hate more than being pitied. “Stop, Harper, you have to stop.” I get up and walk over to her. I kneel in front of her, trying to think of a way that I can calm her down. She grabs hold of me, hugging me tightly. “Please, stop crying. It’s in the past.” I pat her back but it doesn’t help. It’s like I’m winding up that damn box she has in her room, the old one with the ballerina. The more I pat her, the more she’s turning up the waterworks. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to stop. I’ll stop now. It’s just…” she sniffles and tries to wipe her face without smudging her make-up. “I can’t believe someone did that to you. I know you said you don’t want to talk about it, but-” her tongue darts out, wetting her lips. It’s a nervous habit we share, one I picked up from her. I picked up a few habits from her. I didn’t have much of a personality of my own when I got here. Like her, I loop my hair around my fingers and rub it until I fall asleep. I fidget with my watch a lot when I’m nervous. My stomach coils, knowing she’s going to talk about it anyway. “What happened to you? Are those lashes? When I met you … you were this skinny little thing.” Thing?

Did she really just call me that? Disappointment flares hot through me. I shove away from her, and, jumping up, my breaths start to come faster. I force the words out. “Don’t call me that. I’m not a … a … I’m not a thing!” “I-I didn’t,” she stutters, stunned by my outburst. She looks desperate and sad, where she’s kneeling on the floor, clutching her hands in front of her chest. A knock on my door has us both jumping, we’re that tense. “Your rides are here,” Cathy calls. “You better get dressed. You don’t want to keep them waiting,” I bite the words out. Because I’m already in my room, I sit down at my desk and drop my face into the crook of my arm. “Fuck!” Harper snaps behind me. She’s been trying to stop cursing. It was her New Year’s resolution. She was on a downward spiral last year. Cursing and sex were her two vices, and she’s not giving up on sex. So she’s watching her language, or at least trying to. If this is her way of trying to break the tension between us, it’s not going to work. This time Harper has gone too far. I hear her move around the room, and I pray she’ll hurry up. I want her to get her butt out of my room. I need to have a moment to myself. A few minutes later I feel her hand on my shoulder and I flinch away from her touch. “Please come with me.” “The thing wants to be left alone,” I bite the words out, my insides swirling with the raw hurt her words have left behind. I hold my breath until I hear the door close behind her. I still don’t move. I wish I could cry like she did. All I can squeeze out is one miserable tear. I let it be and press my face deeper into the crook of my arm. I’m not a thing. I have to believe I’m someone, or I’ll lose my shit like all those people at the cult. I can’t believe she called me that. She’s supposed to be my best friend! I shouldn’t have shown her the marks. I should’ve known she would react that way, just like everyone else. No one will ever see me just for me. They will always just see the weakling that once belonged to a cult. Shit! Tension and chaos whirl inside of me. I shouldn’t have shown her. I’ve ruined our friendship. The door opens and I huff a shaky breath. My chest feels heavy from the memories weighing down on me. I feel torn from Harper’s reaction. “Please, just go.” My voice cracks, but I push through. I don’t want her near me, not right now. “You made it clear. I get it. You saw it and it shocked the shit out of you. There are times I can’t look at it

myself, either. I get why you called me a thing. Just go. I want to be miserable on my own.” The door doesn’t open again and Harper doesn’t say anything. Instead, someone clears his throat. My head snaps up and I wish I could die a thousand deaths right now. Liam.

Liam~ Harper said Mila was upset, that they had a fight, or something. When Harper said she wasn’t coming I asked which room was hers, because like I said earlier, I will drag her to the party if I have to. I only took in every second word she just said. The thing that hit base was her cracking voice. Mila sounds heartbroken. The idea that my girl is hurting stabs right at my heart. I’ll do just about anything to make her smile. My girl. The thought doesn’t even surprise me anymore. This day took its sweet time coming. I have every intention to make her mine before the end of tonight, but I have to curb my thoughts because her face keeps getting paler, her eyes bigger. She opens her mouth to say something but snaps it closed again. I walked in on something big I can feel it shifting through the air, thick and heavy. I wait to see if she’s going to say more, but then she slumps back in the chair as if she’s giving up. “Harper left with Mickey,” I say the first thing that comes to mind. She makes a small squeaky sound. I think it was supposed to be a word. “I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked first.” No, I’m not, but it’s something to say. I take another step into her room. It’s not what I expected. Damn, it’s a mess. Clothes cover just about every inch of the floor and double bed. There’s a dresser that’s been pretty much emptied out. I guess that’s where the clothes go by the look of the few items hanging out of the drawers. “Harper.” Her voice is hoarse, as if she’s been crying. She waves a hand in the general direction of the disaster that’s her room. “That’s what happened to my room. It doesn’t usually look like this. Harper always leaves it a mess.” “And here I thought you were into trashing rooms. Damn, I was just about to ask you to go do my

room. It needs a make-over.” A glimmer of a smile pulls at the corner of her mouth and I take it as a good sign. “Hey…” I take two cautious steps closer to her. It feels like any sudden movements might make her crumble. I reach out my hand to her, hoping to God she’ll take it. “How about us skipping the part where we trash my room and we go crash my party?” She places her hand in mine and firmly grabs hold. A shy smile tugs at her lips for a second. I can see the moment she makes the decision to have fun tonight. Her eyes brighten and her smile stretches wider. The tight grip on my heart lightens a bit and I can breathe easier. “Why not?” She shrugs. She has always used Harper as a shield to hide behind, so when she stands up and she presses her body against mine, I’m almost done for. Her lips brush softly against my cheek and it knocks me off my feet. My heart all but flat lines for a second. I don’t let go of her hand. No way in hell is that happening. I’m not sure what her reason is for kissing me, but you won’t hear me complaining. Not that I’m saying Mila’s cold. No, not at all. She’s … fuck, she’s just different. How can I say this to her, without sounding like a dick? She’s not easy come, easy go. But, I don’t think she’s shy either. Mila’s guarded. She doesn’t let people in. Fuck knows, I’ve been trying for two years. That’s about the best I can do in the way of explaining Mila. She has walls up that will put the wall of China to shame. She steps back and my eyes drop down the length of her body, straight to her legs. Da-yaamn, those shorts are … uhm … short. Come to think of it, I’ve only ever seen her in jeans. Mila has legs. Of course Mila has legs, but fuck she has stunning legs. I manage to tear my eyes away from them and drag them back up her body. She’s wearing a loose fitting top. I can see her shoulder peeking from where the top has started to slip off on the one side. Damn she looks hot. I clear my throat before I try to speak, not that I have any idea what to say. She beats me to it. “Let me just grab my bag.” Dammit, I’m going to have a hard time keeping my hands off her tonight. Fuck it! I close the distance between us. I’ll try and figure out later why I chose this moment to lose my control, but right this second, I just let go. I lift my hands to her face, press my palms against her cheeks and run the tips of my fingers into her hair. Leaning in, I tilt her face up to mine and I would’ve kissed her if it weren’t for the dried tear track on her left cheek. Well, I would’ve kissed her on her mouth, but now is not the time or the place. She had a fight

with Harper, and it upset her. When I kiss her, the moment will be perfect. I want her to think only of me. I place a soft feathery kiss below her eyelash where the tear track starts, and as the need in me grows, I keep going. I brush my lips gently down the length of her cheek. She exhales, warm shivering breaths against my neck, and it makes the moment perfect. I stop by the corner of her mouth and I almost give in to the need to just claim her mouth. For a few torturous moments I allow myself to feel her warm breath on my face. Damn, I need to get a grip on this situation, or I’m going to grab her right now, and she doesn’t need me losing my control. Fun, she needs to have fun tonight. I pull back, stuff my hands in the pockets of my shorts, and force a half-assed smile to my lips. “Grab what you need. Let’s hit the road.” She blinks a few times, looking stunned that I just pulled that move on her. Then, true Mila style, she throws up a wall, and I have no idea how she feels about me almost kissing her. I watch as she slips on a pair of sandals and grabs a purple bag with huge yellow sunflowers on it. It screams Mila. She scans her room one last time. When I take a step in the direction of her door, she holds her hand up for me to wait. “Oh, I almost forgot.” I watch her bounce over the bed and a hot streak flashes through my body, straight down south. Her ass is in the air as she stretches her tight body over the bed. I tilt my head like a pervert, taking in the full view of her toned ass and legs. She switches on the light beside her bed. The bag tumbles from her shoulder, catching the material of her shirt and drags it up, exposing more of her smooth shoulder. Da-yamn she’s gorgeous. The way her hair tumbles over her back just makes me want to run my fingers through it. I’d love to get on the bed and grip a hand full right now. Ease my hand down her back to where her shirt is inching up. Fuck, I wouldn’t stop there. I’d slip my hand under her shirt and slowly caress my way back up to her neck, taking in the feel of her smooth skin under my fingers. Oh, hell yeah. I reach down to adjust myself, before Mila gets back up. She scoots back over the bed, her ass wiggling. This girl has no idea how sexy she is. Her shirt inches up her back, exposing more of her skin. At first all I see is the bare strip of milky skin between her shirt and her shorts. All I can do is stare. I feel a tendril of shock vibrate through my chest as it starts to register what I’m actually seeing. The twist in my gut is so intense, I almost double over. My eyes jump over her lower back and I have a split-second to take in the sight. I only get a glimpse, because she’s fast, swinging around and adjusting her top, covering the pale pink, thin scars on her skin.

I look to the other side of the room, pretending I didn’t see. Fisting my hands, I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to know how she got those marks. I’ve been so obsessed with seeing her every day, with getting a date from her. I never stopped to think about her – who she is. Who is Mila? Now I want to know her more than ever. What was her life like before we met at college? I have just enough time to paste a smile to my face, when Mila nudges me. She comes to stand right in front of me and smiles playfully. “Let’s go or you’ll be late for your own party.” She’s smiling, that perfect smile that brightens up her face. It goes straight to my heart. I need to get myself together, and fast. “Yeah.” Bringing my hand up to her cheek, I brush the spot where the tear streak was. “Let’s go have fun.” I take her hand in mine and push the marks I just saw on her back out of my mind. I’ll deal with it later. I can’t deny the fact that my insides feel twisted at knowing Mila has been hurt by someone. The thought of her being in pain rips at my gut. But, right now, I just want to focus on the girl standing in front of me. I want to keep that smile on her face. I want to make her fall in love with me as much as I am in love with her.



Liam~ By the time we get to the party, the place is crowded with people. I can hear the music beating all the way to the driveway. I spot Mickey, Hunter and Blake’s trucks. Nice to know the guys are here already. With them here to keep the party going, I can give all my attention to Mila. I park next to Hailey’s blue convertible Mini Cooper. The girl’s something else. We only tolerate her because she hangs out with Maddy who’s a sweetheart. Hunter’s been trying to get her attention for the past two months. I think he’s about to call it a lost cause and move onto greener pastures, though. I just hope he stays away from Hailey. We love Maddy, but Hailey? Not so much. I don’t know why they’re friends. Suppose opposites attract in their case, because Maddy is all angel, where Hailey’s bitch on heels I run around the truck to open the door for Mila. I smile when I think of how I had to help her get in back at her house. It was the cutest damn thing ever when she asked me if I had climbing gear for her to use so she could get into my truck. Roars of laughter fill the air and I hear Hunter whoop from somewhere in the back. I push my arm in behind Mila, and as I lift her out of the truck, I press her body against mine. Her hands grip my shoulders and a carefree giggle bubbles up her throat. Yeah, that’s more like it. Attention on me girl. “Stick with me girl I’ll make you famous.” Talk about a lame line. That sounded much better in my head than out loud. Crap, I sound like a dick. “Is that so?” she teases. She blushes, giving away that her words might just have a double meaning. Do they? Or am I reading too much into them? Damn, I’m becoming a pervert like that dick Ross. I pull her against me, testing the waters. She doesn’t tense up, instead her hands instantly go around my neck. She hasn’t stopped smiling up at me. The sadness in her eyes is gone. They look warm, inviting even. I could kiss her right now. I want to kiss her. Shit, I’ve wanted to taste her for so long.

“Liam.” My head falls back and I let out a growl in frustration. Mila steps away from me as Hailey and Maddy walk over to us. “Why are you standing out here? The party’s inside.” Hailey places her arm around my waist, takes hold of my arm and tries to snuggle closer. I’m tired of this shit. You smile at a girl and they think they own your soul, body and balls. They used to be cool girls to hang around with, now I only tolerate Hailey for Maddy’s sake. Maddy is a sweet chick, but Hailey has gone off the deep end. Lately, rumors have started going around that Hailey charges for sex. I mean, you show her the money and she shows you ‘wet and wild’ porno style. Yeah … ah, like hell no! I try to shrug away, cross my arms over my chest and take another step back just for safety’s sake. This girl is like an octopus that found her next meal, because she comes at me again. Da-yaamn. They don’t come with suction control anymore. She tries to get her claws around my arm again and I’m forced to take another step back. I’m irritated with her interrupting us. “Why don’t you get back to the party?” I ask. “We can wait for you,” Hailey says, not catching onto the fact that I’m trying to get rid of her. Say what? Nu-uh. Hell no! Would you get off me, woman? “I’m busy.” I wish she would take a hint already. “With what?” She frowns at me, then finally she acknowledges Mila’s presence for the first time. She tilts her head to the side and frowns at Mila before looking back to me. “With her?” she asks, going from flirty to super bitch at the speed of Mach 4. Did I wander into the twilight zone or what? Since when do I report to Hailey Young? “I’m going to go. Thanks for the ride, Liam,” Mila says, and that’s when I really know I’m in the twilight zone, because in no reality of mine do I end up with Hailey Young, queen-fucking-bitch of Bloomington, who is weirder than shit on a flying pig, while Mila walks away from me. I slam the passenger door closed and don’t even bother with Hailey and Maddy. If they screw this up for me I’m going to hit level ten on my pissed meter. I know I don’t have the best reputation, but I’m nowhere near as bad as Mickey, or the others, and I’m far from desperate. Mila’s already heading for the front door and I can’t see her face to see if she’s upset. “Mila,” her name rushes from me. I go after her and grab her hand. I ignore my name being called, and pull Mila into my side. “Sorry about that. Some people don’t know when to take a hint.” “They’re your friends,” she says. At least she’s not pulling away. “Only by association. There are only four people at college I call friends.” “Mickey, Hunter, Blake …” She does that cute thing where she bites the corner of her mouth and

peeks to the sky. How did I not notice before today that this is something she does whenever she puts her thinking cap on? “I give up.” “You really don’t know?” She really has no idea that I have the hots for her. “Nope.” She pops her ‘p’, shoves her fingertips in the back pockets of her shorts and glances up at me. I thought I was in love with this girl but every second I get to spend with her, I fall harder. I’m destined to stay on my knees in front of her. “See if you can figure it out by the end of the night.” This should be interesting. “You’re not going to tell me?” Her mouth drops open and she stops walking. Her eyes focus on me. “You’re really not going to tell me,” she says, taking a step closer. “Nope,” I pop the ‘p’ the way she does. “And I can’t convince you to?” “Nope.” “Not even with a dare?” Hold up. A what? She smiles a huge smile. She saw me hesitate. “Ah-hah. What will it be? I’ll trade a dare for your secret.” I look around, trying to think of something. I want to make it fun. Just then Hunter hollers as he swings from the tree into the lake. “Liam,” Mila’s voice is filled with apprehension. She must’ve noticed the direction I’m looking in. “That’s not a dare, that’s suicidal! Are you insane?” “You want to know the fourth person I consider my friend, then swing it, babe.” I turn around and walk in the direction of the bar. I have every confidence she won’t do it. I might as well get us drinks. “Mila, you want a-” the rest of my sentence dies away when I don’t see her behind me. “Did Mila bail on your ass already, dipshit?” I ignore Blake, my eyes darting in the direction of the lake. “She’s doing it!” I can’t believe it. She’s already halfway across the lawn. I break out into a sprint so I can get to the lake before she swings. I watch her weave through the other kids, determination in every step she takes. She walks to where Hunter is standing, hitting on some girl. I watch her talk to him. I have no idea what she’s saying to him, but for the first time Hunter doesn’t smile. Instead, he listens, nods, then says something back. There’s some nodding from her side and then they both move to the edge where Hunter grabs hold of the rope. My throat tightens as Hunter puts his other arm around my girl. This time I’m really going to kill him, as in D.E.A.D. He’s as good as road kill. A heavy arm falls around my shoulder. “Hey man, what’s up?” Blake. Just in time to see how I kill

his brother. “I’m gonna rip his spleen through his ass,” I practically hiss. “What’s he up to now?” Blake sounds bored. “You know my Mila?” I scowl at Blake and point towards the lake. “Hunter’s all over her.” We both stand and watch as Hunter pulls Mila into his body and then my throat closes right up. My heart plummets to somewhere at my feet. There’s not a drop of moisture left in my mouth as Hunter lifts Mila, and she puts her fucking legs around his waist. “Damn. How much did he drink?” Blake asks. I can’t answer as I watch Mila cling to my cousin. Hunter pushes them away from the edge and it’s about all I can take in as they swing together, splash into the water together, come up together. She keeps clinging to Hunter. I can’t take any more of this shit. It feels as if my heart is being ripped from my chest by two of the people I care most about in this world. I didn’t see this coming and the shock makes my thoughts feel all jumbled. I shrug Blake’s arm away and stalk towards the bar. “Liam, wait up,” Blake calls behind me. “I’ll deal with Hunter later. He knows Mila was mine. You don’t have to worry that I’ll make a scene here,” I say to reassure him. “Was? You’re gonna give up so quickly? You’ve wanted that girl ever since she started at college two years ago.” Blake grabs the seat next to me. “Give up? You mean Mila’s toast?” Mickey asks. “Not now, Mickey,” Blake warns, giving him a dark glare to shut him up. “What do you want me to do? Chase after her the rest of my life? I tried. I failed.” “We don’t fail, man. Us Wrights aren’t wired that way.” Blake swivels the chair so he’s leaning against the counter of the bar, facing the crowds. “There’s Sadie, I’m gonna go help her quickly.” He gets up and pats me on the back. “If she’s the one, you never give up. You keep trying until you get it right.”

Mila~ “Thanks, Hunter!” I sputter through the water. When I saw him standing by the lake, I took my chance. Just because I can’t swim doesn’t mean I’m not taking the dare. I knew he could help me win the bet. “Anytime.” He pulls me up and out of the water. Rubbing the last of the water out of my eyes, I go to the spot I left my bag at. I pick it up and start in the direction I last saw Liam in.

No sign of Liam. Feeling a bit disappointed that he didn’t see the jump, I finally spot him at the bar. I tie my hair in a ponytail and figure my clothes will eventually dry. “You missed it,” I say as I get to the bar. “No, I pretty much saw it all,” Liam says in a low voice. He tips the beer back, takes a sip, and, not looking at me, he continues, “I saw the whole damn thing. If you grabbed hold of Hunter any tighter, you guys might’ve become one up there. I’m sure he had a hell of a good time.” Prickles of shock rush all over my body. I didn’t expect this reaction from him. Heat flushes up my neck. Why would Liam be so jealous of his cousin doing me a favor? “Oh.” The word falls lamely from my tongue. For a second, I don’t know what else to say. I rock back on my feet. He takes another sip of his beer as the air tenses between us. Think, Mila. Just think this through for a second. Fine, maybe I should’ve asked him instead of Hunter? Damn, how was I supposed to know Liam was the jealous type? It’s not like IMy brain freezes because I did cling to Hunter. I didn’t mean it that way, but Liam obviously saw it differently. Does he really care that much? I pull my wet shirt away from my chest and swallow hard. I better just apologize and make a run for it. Do what I do best. This kind of shit just isn’t for me. This is no way to keep a low profile. “I’m sorry you saw it that way. Hunter was just doing me a favor. I-I…” Screw this, just run. I turn to leave but I don’t want him to take it out on Hunter. He was only helping me. Disappointment swirls inside of me. I’m hurt that Liam’s just jumping to conclusions, but I can see why. I should’ve thought this through better. I turn back and I’m slammed with the full force of Liam’s penetrating brown eyes. Spit it out, and haul ass girl. “I can’t swim … that’s why I asked him to help me. It was just a stupid dare. I’m sorry.” Shit, I’m babbling again. I’m going down in flames. “I was wrong … I’m sorry … I shouldn’t have taken the dare.” Shut your trap. Go, girl, just run! I weave through all the people as quickly as I can. It was a mistake coming. This whole stupid day has been one huge miserable mistake. I keep going, out the side gate, right by his truck, and I’m heading for the main gate when my body gets yanked back. Panic slams hard into the pit of my stomach. “Oh shit!” My heart leaps to my throat and I’m doing some serious swallowing to keep the rest of my organs from following. I bring my hands up and grab hold of the arms that’s pulling me back like a pair of steel clamps. “I didn’t know you can’t swim,” Liam breathlessly says. My racing heart stutters. I don’t know if it’s from relief that he’s the one holding me and it’s not just another bad memory, or that he actually came after me. He turns me around as if I’m nothing.

“You scared the living shit out of me, Liam. You can’t just go around grabbing me like that,” I let him have a piece of my mind, and while I’m at it, I place both my hands on his chest and push him with every bit of strength I have. Yeah, so much for going up against the Hulk. The guy’s made of solid muscle. He doesn’t even budge an inch. He reaches for me again, hugging me to him as if I didn’t just lash out at him. “Why do you keep hugging me today?” I try to squirm away but he won’t let me. “I don’t understand why you wanted me to come in the first place,” I huff upset, but my voice loses its force, going from intense to soft, as my bravery fizzles out. The longer I keep looking up at him, the more I want to stand in his arms and forget why I was pushing him away in the first place. I drop my gaze to his chest and I’m just about to apologize for wetting him when he starts to ramble like an absolutely crazy person, I might add. “You’re the friend, the fourth person. I don’t understand why you can’t see it.” His hands slide from my back to my shoulders and then one keeps going until his fingers wrap around the back of my neck. “Since that first day you walked down the hallway, trying to hide behind Nathan, thinking no one would see you. I don’t know if you remember that day?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer, he just keeps going. My mouth drops open, because here is Liam of all people telling me what, exactly? “You wore faded jeans,” he chuckles and it makes him only sexier. He pulls me closer so I’m flattened against him. I can feel his heart racing as fast as mine. His eyes are smoldering, almost black. I’ve never seen them so dark. When he continues, his voice is softer. “You always wear jeans and these kinda tops that hang off your shoulder. I love that about you. But that first day, God, you were drownin’ in that shirt. You had it rolled up a couple of times so it wouldn’t keep fallin’ over your hands. I loved the way your hands moved, rolling up the sleeves every time they came undone. It’s like you were trying your best to not look pretty … but you failed, because you were gorgeous.” His fingers slide a hot path down my left arm, takes hold of my hand and he brings it up between us, placing it on his chest. I watch how his hand swallows mine whole. “I wanted to hold your hand that day already. I wanted to hold your hand every day since.” He did? Liam likes me? Of course I know Liam likes me. But I mean, does he really, really like me? Like the way I like him? Oh wow.

Why? It’s the last day of college! I want to kick him for waiting so long. I’ve been dreaming about this moment for two damn years. “Why didn’t you? What took you so long?” “You kept saying no to everyone.” Oh, there’s that. Thanks for the reminder, Liam. Incredulous laughter bubbles up my throat. I’ve spent the last six years doing my best to fly under the radar. I’m the only one of my friends who doesn’t own a phone. No email, no internet … nothing. Everything so the cult can’t find me. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let them take this moment from me, too. I want to be able to experience a normal relationship. I let my eyes drink in every inch of Liam’s strong features. No one does it for me like he does. I want a chance with him. I want to fall hopelessly in love. I think of an excuse, something believable. A reason I can keep saying no … but I come up empty handed. I can’t let my past keep ruining my future. I’ve seen Harper flirt enough times to know how it’s done. I lift myself up on my toes and with a thundering heart, I pray I’m not making a total ass of myself. I let my hands slip up to Liam’s neck, but I can’t bring myself to go higher than his jaw. The tingles in my abdomen are going to explode into full blown fireworks any second now. I exhale slowly when my mouth reaches his ear. You can do it, Mila. Everyone flirts! “I kept saying no because they weren’t you.” Oh dear God, that sounded so corny! He pulls me closer to him until I can feel his body heat warming mine. “Next time you need a lifeguard, ask me,” he whispers against my cheek, and I swear this moment is so intense I can feel it between my legs, like a second heart beating. “Okay,” I say in my sweetest voice. He clenches his jaw and drops his hands to my hips. Gripping me tightly, he pulls my body flush with his. My breath hitches when I feel him, hard against me. I’ve never felt that specific part of a guy’s body pressing against me before. There’s a delicious clenching in my abdomen, and I suppress the need to rub my legs together, to press closer against him. His mouth stops an inch from mine, as if he’s waiting for me to pull away. I can’t stand it anymore. He’s been teasing me like this the whole day, making me think he’s going to kiss me only to pull away. My stomach tightens and my heart races. My insides turn to mush and then… “We should get back to the party,” he whispers. “Uh-huh,” is all I manage to mumble as he drags me back to the rest of the people.



Mila~ Beer. It’s fuzzy, foamy, bitter and just yucky. I don’t know how some people can drink it. Liam laughed at my facial expression a couple of times, as I tried a few sips before I decided it wasn’t going to get any better. “You can’t have her drinking that,” I hear a familiar voice behind me. “Only men can drink that crap.” “Where have you been?” Liam asks Sadie as she walks into the make-shift bar. She hugs Blake who tries to squirm from her wet grip. She’s the same age as me, twenty. Just like me, she’s finishing at Illinois State University. I’ve heard that Liam and Hunter are going to continue with their studies. I’m not sure what Sadie has planned for her future. “You’re wet, woman!” Blake protests playfully. Sometimes I get jealous of the love Hunter and Blake obviously have for their little sister. It makes me miss Claire so much. “Beat it. I’ll take over for a while.” She shoves him away, and then reaches for a green bottle. “Now this is the good stuff.” She pours me some into a paper cup. “Mila, you know Sadie?” Liam asks. I take the cup, eyeing the green liquid cautiously. “Yeah, from classes,” I murmur. My attention isn’t really on the conversation. It would be rude to decline Sadie’s drink, so I take a tiny sip. I scrunch my nose as the sourness of the alcohol hits me, but I love the sweetness that’s mixed in with it. “Ooh, much better than the brown stuff,” I comment. Sadie laughs, “I know, right?” She pours herself some as well. I take a bigger sip this time just as Sadie ask, “So, my cousin finally had the balls to ask you out? How do you feel about him?” Freaking hell! I instantly become a human sprinkler. It’s green stuff everywhere as I spurt it out. I cough to get the remainder out of my burning throat and nose. “Fuck, Sadie! Really?” Liam hisses. “You didn’t just ask her that!” “What?” Sadie laughs “You don’t want to know how she feels?”

I clear my throat as they stare each other down. Blake and Sadie are known for being straight to the point, but damn, this is a whole different level of not beating around the bush. Now I really need some more of the green stuff. I swipe the bottle from Sadie and pour myself a drink. I don’t care what impression I’m giving as I down it. Things are way too tense for my liking. I grab hold of the bottle again, trying to think of something to say. The label’s been peeled off the bottle. “So what’s this called?” “Think of it as truth serum. Hopefully, it’s going to make you spill all your dirty little secrets,” Sadie laughs. Liam sighs. “I’m not going to win with her tonight. I apologize now for whatever my cousin says or does for the rest of the night.” I’ve never seen him so out of his comfort zone. The poor guy. Whether it’s the beer and two drinks, or the vibe of the party ribbing off on me, I don’t know, but I get up and inch closer to Liam. I wink at Sadie and her face brightens instantly. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like your cousin, Sadie,” I admit bravely. “I like him more than I should, if you ask me.” Liam’s face immediately splits into the same smile he had when I said yes earlier. He takes a deep breath before he looks at me. The warm look in his eyes draws me closer until all I want to do is melt into him. I feel lightheaded with the happiness and fun coursing through my veins, and it gives me a spark of bravery. I’ve wanted a kiss from him the whole day but I won’t be the one to start it. So I settle for second best and do the same thing I did earlier. I kiss him on the cheek, only this time, I let the kiss linger a few breaths longer before pulling away. “See ya, Sadie,” Liam says as I pull away. He grabs hold of my hand and pulls me in the direction of the lake where it’s darker. “So,” he says, when we’re out of hearing distance of Sadie. “So,” I whisper back, no longer feeling so brave. “You like me.” I pull a face. Did he have to say it like that? Seems Blake and Sadie aren’t the only straightforward ones in the Wright family. “I was tortured. Truth serum, remember?” It feels as if I have a whole hive of bees swarming in my stomach. Why the hell did I admit that to him? “We should actually go back and make you drink some. I’d love to hear all your secrets. Your cousin is mean. That-” Liam stops and suddenly pulls me into his arms, effectively stopping my babbling. I press my lips

together to stop the rest of the words from spilling out along with my heart that’s trying to claw its way out of my chest. “You’re cute when you’re all nervous,” he whispers. “Glad you think so,” I mutter. “You’re not the one who’s nervous.” “I don’t need truth serum,” he says, getting my full attention. “Why’s that?” I decide to push my luck. Liam brings his hand up to my face and starts to trace his fingers lightly down the side, from my temple to my cheek, leaving tingles racing over my skin. I love the way he touches me. “I like you, Mila. For the longest time I’ve wanted to hold you, to touch you.” He pulls me into a hug and he does that thing to my insides where they all dissolve into mush. I don’t want him to ever let me go. I snuggle closer to him, burying my face deep in his chest, and I wrap my arms as tight as I can around him. Moments like this one makes running away from the cult worth it. It makes it all a little easier while I have to wait to go get Claire. Moments like this keep me from losing my mind to the constant fear that’s threatening to swallow me whole. We stand in silence, enjoying the feel of being in each other’s arms. Liam is the first to move. He takes hold of my hand again and we continue towards the lake. Has he forgotten that I can’t swim? “Why are we walking towards the lake?” I start pulling on his hand, wanting to go back to the bar. “I like the green stuff, let’s go get some more.” “Oh no, you’ve reached your limit. I forgot about you not being into the party thing. You had alcohol before tonight, right?” “Does communion count?” I ask. “It should. You need alcohol to survive half the shit religion throws your way.” Liam sounds angry and as he steps in front of me, I search his face for any sign of why he’d be angry at me. Was it something I said? His hand slips around my waist, between my shorts and my shirt, skin on skin. It’s all it takes to freeze me up. His fingers are inches away from the marks. With a jolt, I realize the last thing I want to do is pull away from him. What if Liam finds out about my past and he’s okay with it? What if he sees the lash marks and he doesn’t pity me? What if love is blind and Liam can just like me for being me? What ifs don’t exist in my world, only cold hard facts. And the only fact staring me in the face is that Liam will be the one running if he sees the marks. My past will scare him away. He’s used to girls with perfect bodies, perfect lives. Damn, he’s perfect. What the hell is he doing orbiting my solar system? “Hey, where did you go?” He ducks his head closer to mine, and it would take an iceberg not to notice the intimate position we’re standing in.

“I’m just thinking.” Me and thinking is a dangerous combination. “You’ve been all dark and broody since I met you. You never gave me any signs that you were into me. Or I just completely missed them all. We don’t even move in the same circles.” Did all of that just come out of my mouth? It must be the green stuff talking. Tie me down. Gag me. Please, someone save me from myself. “You think I’m broody? What, like the quiet, deep in thought kind or the moping kind?” he grins at me. Trust him not to miss a word I’m saying right now. “The quiet kind,” I whisper. “That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.” “Okay, I’ll keep quiet and listen,” he laughs. “You’re busy saying?” He tries to put on a serious face, but the corner of his mouth keeps pulling into a smile, and it makes me smile. “We’re from-” “There you are,” Mickey shouts from behind me. I turn to see him running towards us, Harper, Blake and Hunter behind him. “We’re gonna swing into the lake. C’mon.” Mickey grabs my hand, and a few seconds later we’re all running toward the swing. So much for getting my point across. I need to know what Liam is really like. If it’s all about looks then he needs to go find another girl. Shit, why is dating so damn complicated? Not that I’m free to date at this point in my life. I have a plan to get a job, to save as much money as I can so I can go get Claire and help her the way Cathy has been helping me. I have a plan and nowhere in that plan is there time for a relationship. I’ll only endanger Liam if I allow him into my life. I care too much about him to have him tainted by my life. But I’m also just a girl, and it feels so good being seen by Liam. The way he looks at me makes me feel desirable. Maybe I can allow myself just tonight? Maybe I can allow myself a few days of being the person Liam seems to like? It’s so nice to be this care-free girl and not Mila who’s hiding from a cult. “You still angry with me?” Harper’s question yanks me from my deep thoughts. I haven’t spoken to Harper since this afternoon, so it feels pretty awkward when she falls in next to me. I shrug, slowing my pace. I’m not angry, only a little hurt, but this definitely isn’t the place to talk about it. “I’ll paint my nails blue. Fuck, I’ll even put blue streaks in my hair if you’ll talk to me again,” she whispers. I start to laugh. “Then you’ll look like Hailey and Maddy. No fair trying to look like the hottest girls in college. You’ll have to do better.” She stops and faces me with a small smile. “You’re not a thing. You’re my best friend. I’m so sorry about the fight.” “Woman!” Mickey shouts at Harper. “Get your ass over here.”

Harper lets out a burst of laugher. “Forgive me for wanting a second to talk with my friend.” She shoves her fists in her sides and scowls at him. “And don’t call me woman. You’d swear I’m going to drop to my knees just because you’re under the false impression that you’re hot. You’re not God’s gift to women, dumbass.” Next to us, a girl lets out a shriek. My eyes swing to the commotion and it’s just in time to see how two men are holding a girl down while forcing her to drink something. The blood runs cold through my veins as I watch her struggle for air. The world blurs around me as my heartbeat speeds up. The saliva in my mouth becomes impossibly thick and it’s too hard to swallow. I don’t know what comes over me, but it’s like I’m possessed by the past. I fall to my knees and brace myself for the beating. “Forgive me,” I whisper on a harsh breath as the panic attack drags me under. “No. No. No! They’re going to find me. They’ll find me just like they found Chasidee! There’s nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. They won’t forgive me. They’re going to punish me!” The words keep rolling off my tongue as the memories of what they did to Chasidee engulfs my sanity.

Liam~ I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I’ve been sitting at the bar nursing the same beer for the last two hours, trying to make sense of what happened. One minute we were laughing, running, and the next Mila is freaking out. I mean, she did a whole one-eighty. It was like she saw a ghost or something. I can’t get the look on her face, the sounds she made – all of it - out of my mind. She was scared, so damn scared. When she fell to her knees, I thought she tripped, but then she started hyperventilating. I only made out some of what she said and it sounded like she’s running or hiding from someone? I’m not sure. Hunter slams another empty bottle down next to me. “Some freaky shit, yeah? You’ve got yourself a crazy one there, bro.” “Shut the fuck up,” I fume. I shove back from the bar and send the beer I was holding spinning over the counter. “Don’t talk about Mila like that! You know nothing. Just shut it.” I shove him hard, making him stagger. I always hide my memories of Rosie so deep because they burn like hot coals when I dare to let

them to the surface, but tonight I’m struggling to keep them locked down. Rosie used to have panic attacks, too. She would fall to her knees just like Mila did, and she’d beg for it all to end. Now that I’m older, I hate myself even more for failing Rosie. The signs were all there. I should have known how badly my sister was suffering. I could have saved her. My breaths are harsh as the old anger soaks into my gut. Mila is in trouble. I can’t fail her the way I failed Rosie. I need to know she’s okay. I should’ve gone home with her. I shouldn’t have listened to Harper and let Nathan take her home. I brought her to the party. She’s mine. She’s my girl. Dammit, I should’ve made sure she was okay. What will she think of me? Does she feel that I’ve let her down? Fuck! It sure feels like I’ve failed her. Just the idea that she might think that of me sets a fire under my ass and I run to my truck. My breaths rush hard as I throw the truck in gear and speed down the street. I only realize that it’s past midnight already once I turn up her street. I park outside her house and stare at the one light that’s still on. I’m pretty sure that’s her room. After five minutes of torture, I phone Mickey. “Where did you go?” he asks before I can say something. “I’m at Mila’s. Do you have Harper’s number?” “Yeah. You sure you wanna do this tonight? Wait until tomorrow, man.” “Just send it. I’ll see you later.” I count down the seconds until my phone beeps. Now I hope Harper will take it easy on my ass. Her phone rings a couple of times. I pinch the bridge of my nose, thinking she’s not going to answer. I should’ve listened to Mickey. “Hello,” Harper’s voice is muffled. “Ah … it’s Liam. I got your number from Mickey. Are you at home with Mila?” Shit, I sound like a creep. “Yeah, I’m with her. She’s not-” I hear Mila, barely audible in the background, say something. There’s a muffled sound, and then Harper’s muted reply to Mila, “It’s Liam.” “Harper, let me talk to her,” I practically sputter the words in my hurry to get my message across. “He wants to talk to you.” This sucks. I can’t hear her reply and it makes me feel even more frustrated. “Liam,” Harper starts in a ‘take-no-prisoners’ tone. “Tell her I’m outside.” I have to try. “He’s outside,” Harper whispers, and then I hear Mila more clearly reply, “What? Like right outside?” My eyes are glued to the window. I hear movement, then the curtains are swept aside and I see her. She climbs out of her window, and she’s standing right there in the light coming from her room, while I’m

still sitting in my truck, not believing my eyes. “Move it, dickhead,” I snap at myself. I drop the phone, shove the door open and run toward her. She’s wearing a clean pair of white shorts, a grey top with no sleeves, only two thin straps. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and all I see is skin. Shit, there is so much skin. I drink in the sight of her. When I get to her, she leans back against the window, looks down at her bare feet and starts to play with the hem of her shirt. “Why are you here?” Her voice is soft, not whisper soft, but rather a fragile kind of soft. It chips away at my heart. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring you home.” I decide to start with an apology first, to get that out of the way before I lay it all on the table. Her head snaps up. “What?” A look of confusion settles on her face and she shakes her head once. “Why?” “I should’ve brought you home, not Nathan. I don’t want you to think that you can’t-” I look up at the stars, hoping I’ll say the right thing. “I want you to be with me. I want you to know that if it happens again, I’ll be able to handle it. I’ll bring you home safely.” She starts to shake her head more firmly, her eyes shimmering in the nightlight. “Not if, Liam … when. When it happens again. That’s why I don’t go out. I’ll only embarrass you. Go back to your party.” She turns around, ducking to go back in. I reach for her and grab hold of her wrist. She has to hear me out. “No, Mila.” Her eyes dart from my hand holding her back to my eyes. “It took me two years to grow a set and finally ask you today. I’m not backing away now, not when I’m this close. I can handle your panic attacks. I’ve handled them before with someone else.” “Close to what, Liam?” She slaps her other hand to her forehead, a pained expression filling her eyes. “You’ve built a sand castle, and for some crazy reason you’ve put me in it. I’m not that girl. I’m not like the other girls you’ve dated.” “That’s why!” I say with all the urgency I can muster. Dammit, how am I going to get this through to her? “You’re different. A good different.” “You think I’m different? I’m not normal?” Her face falls and her grey eyes drown in sorrow. Shit, I’m so bad at this and she won’t even look at me anymore. “You’re right, Liam.” She sucks in a deep breath, and it shudders out on her next exhale. It doesn’t sound good. Girls do that before they start to cry. “I-I …” She takes another breath, a steadier one. “Those other girls you’re used to dating are perfect, just like you.” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? “They all fit in your world. They have these perfect lives. All of it is perfect.” Finally, she looks up at me. Her eyes are so sad it chips at my heart. I just want to hold her. “I’m different,” she whispers.

“None of that matters to me.” Breathe, I need to breathe and say this right. “I don’t want any other girl, Mila. I want you. I want you because you’re different. You’re a fucking beautiful woman and I want you.” Clear as fucking daylight. I couldn’t have said it any better. She feels this thing between us, too. There’s no way these feelings are only one sided. She has to feel this tension between us. Too much tension and I’m afraid we might explode, but just the right amount, like what we have going at this moment, andI lean in before she can take another breath. I’ll just have to prove to her how right we are together. I press my lips to hers and bring my right hand up to the side of her face to keep her locked to me. Letting go of her wrist, I slip my left arm around her back and pull her up against me, and only then do I move my lips to nip at hers. Her whole body shudders and I feel it against mine. She reaches up, gripping hold of my shoulders. I pull back slightly, hovering over her lips. She sucks in a shaky breath. The tip of her tongue moves against my bottom lip as it darts out, wetting her lips. Our breaths rush into each other, the air growing hotter. I can’t hold back much longer. I want to devour her, but I also want her to give me some sort of green light here. Another hot breath fans against me and then she pushes herself up, her mouth crashing into mine, and that is good enough for me. She finally kisses me back. I run the tip of my tongue along her lips, urging her to open for me, and when she does, she tastes better than she did in my dreams. Sweet … Mila is so damn sweet. I brush my tongue along hers in one slow sweep, then pull her bottom lip between my teeth. I’ve wanted to bite it for the longest time. Her hands crawl around my neck, her fingers twisting into my hair. She moans softly into my mouth, igniting every inch of my body with a scorching heat. It burns through my veins. This is where Mila belongs, right in my arms, and I don’t even care that she can feel how hard I am for her. I’d die a happy man if I were to spontaneous combust right now. I’ve never wanted anything the way I want her. I pull away before I lose control and slam her up against the wall. Resting my forehead against hers, I take a few deep breaths. “Give me the summer to prove to you how right we are together.” She peeks up at me, looking adorably shy. “What do you mean?” “We can work, Mila. All I need is this summer. If I’m wrong, I’ll leave, and I won’t bother you again, but if I’m right…” I can’t finish the sentence because I know I’m right … we’re right together – a

perfect match. She looks at the stars, bites at her cheek, and this time I reach for her face because I can. I brush the back of my fingers along her skin and watch her eyes flutter closed. Damn, I want to hear her moan again. I want her so badly, it’s becoming a demanding ache in my gut. She ducks her face into my chest and mutters shyly, “I should probably tell you that I have panic attacks often. I can’t guarantee you’ll always be safe around me.” “I figured that one out, but don’t worry about my safety. Just know I’ll always guard yours.” I smile at how adorable she’s being about what happened tonight, but now I’m trying to figure out if this is her way of saying yes to us giving this thing a try. She smiles a mega-watt smile up at me. “Smart-ass.” “You also don’t swim and you get tipsy really fast. Although, I should remember the second I can use that to my advantage someday,” I tease her, loving the way her smile keeps growing. “Is that so? I only like the green stuff.” Warmth spreads through my chest and in this moment I know I’ll do anything to keep that smile on her face. “You can’t stand out here the whole night,” she whispers. Damn, I’d do anything but go home. She looks over her shoulder to her room and I can see that she’s torn in two. Please, let her give me a few more minutes. “Wait one sec, will you?” she says with a shy smile. “Sure.” She climbs back through the window, and I check out her body like the horny fucker I am around her. I hear some shuffling and then a blanket gets tossed against me. She climbs out, a flashlight in her hand. I like where this is going I like this a lot. “What do you have in mind?” She switches the flashlight on and shines at something over my shoulder. “Tree house. But I swear, if you leave my side out here in the dark, I’ll kill you.” She says it in the sweetest voice as she passes me, heading towards the huge tree standing in the middle of the yard. It makes me laugh, the fact that she thinks I’ll leave her side tonight. Fuck me … the view I have of Mila’s ass as she climbs up ahead of me is giving me a huge problem. I need to get rid of it before I get up there. I adjust myself quickly, then follow her hot ass up to the tree house. I want to take it slow with Mila although that seems almost impossible with me growing a problem down south every few minutes. When I reach the top of the tree, I wait for her to scoot to the side before I lift myself up. It’s a

pretty plain tree house from what I can make out. It’s a few slabs of wood slapped together, and yeah, that’s about it. “Did you guys run out of wood?” I joke. “No.” She spreads the blanket out on the slab of wood. “I wanted it like this. Open. I get claustrophobic in…,” She signals widely with her hands and then falls back onto the blanket. “I don’t do small spaces.” “Got it. Stairs instead of elevators.” She giggles and starts to draw the figure eight on the branches overhead with the light beaming from the flashlight. I lie down beside her and watch in silence for a while as she makes different patterns with the flashlight. My mind starts going over a hundred things to talk about. College being finished, the party, what happened tonight to make her freak out like that? I’m just about to ask when the flashlight stops moving. She clears her throat and sounds hesitant when she asks, “So Blake is going backpacking over Europe. What are your plans?” “Nothing interesting.” I reach over and take hold of her hand, weaving my fingers through hers. I was hoping to put this conversation off, until maybe the day before we move to the city. Who wants to start a relationship with someone that’s leaving? Not that I’ll be so far away. It’s only a two and a half hour drive. Maybe, I’ll be able to come home every other weekend, but I can’t make any promises. I have to focus on my studies for the next three years. I owe it to myself and Uncle Julian. “We’re going to finish our law studies at the University of Chicago’s law school. It’s another three years of studying, and then we’ll come back and help Uncle Julian out at his firm.” Her fingers tighten around mine. I feel my whole body tense as the seconds tick by, waiting for her to say something. She takes in a slow breath, and she lets it out even slower. “And here I was hoping…” her voice cracks, she clears her throat real quick. “I was hoping we could go and do something boring like jump on a spaceship and take over a planet,” I hear the slight quiver in her voice and it make me want to hold her. I turn on my side to face her, take the flashlight and place it between us before I reach for her and pull her closer. She turns over to her side so we’re lying face to face, and the sadness in her eyes is a blow to my gut. I was right. She does care more than she’s been showing me. I really don’t want to talk about my leaving tonight. Act calm, act cool. “You’d take over a planet with me?” My voice sounds hoarse. I sound like a damn frog, she’s got me wound up so damn bad. “Sure,” she deadpans. Her face is so serious, for about five seconds then she cracks into a wide

smile. She’s unbelievable. “Look,” she whispers. “At what?” I can’t take my eyes off her face. I’ve honestly never seen anything more beautiful. “There’s a feather.” She reaches to the side of my face and picks it up. It’s a normal grey feather, probably from a pigeon. “I love feathers,” she whispers. “I have a box filled with them in my room.” “That’s cool,” I whisper. I prop myself up on my hand and then inch closer to her until my elbow is brushing against her hair. I lean down and I can feel her breath fan my face. I whisper, “I want to kiss you.” There’s a damn sweet tightening in my abdomen as her eyes drop to my mouth. I can’t believe I’ve waited so long. I could’ve had her sooner. How many times could I have kissed her already? “Mila,” someone calls from down below. “Shit!” Her eyes go huge. She grabs hold of my shoulders, ducks her face into my chest and starts to giggle. “Yes, Cathy?” Her voice sounds so sweet I’d bet that if I kissed her now, she’d taste like honey. “Are you okay up there?” Cathy says, sounding a bit concerned. She should be. If only she knew what I’d like to do to Mila right now, she’d lock her up in her room to keep her away from the likes of me. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Mila turns her face into my neck, and her warm breath sizzles all the way down to my groin. “If you need me, I’ll be inside,” Cathy calls up to us. Damn, I need Mila. “You have the flashlight?” Cathy continues. “I don’t see any light and you weren’t in your room, so I got worried. There’s a truck out front … is someone with you?” “Yeah, I have the flashlight.” Mila fumbles around for it and then shines it over my shoulder. “Liam, say hello,” she says in my neck. “Evening, ma’am.” Shit, my voice sounds hoarse. I clear it quickly. Mila’s body starts to shake against mine with silent laughter. I slide my hand over her hip, towards her lower back, and press her closer to me. “Evening, Liam. I’ll leave you two to it then.” “Night, Cathy,” Mila sings in my neck, and then she starts to giggle. Seconds later her giggle is a full blown fit of laughter that’s pushing her tight body against mine in every good way. Feeling her breasts shake with laughter against my chest is a dream coming true right about now. “That’s so funny. Evening, ma’am.” She cracks up all over again. “No one has ever called Cathy ma’am.” Reaching my limit, I grab her right arm and pin it down over her head. When I slide my one leg

between hers, her laughter disappears like mist before the sun. “You think that was funny?” I whisper intimately. Smiling, she nods until my eyes drop to her breasts. Dammit, she’s not wearing a bra. Her nipples are hard, and the thin material isn’t doing much to cover her. My body really does have a brain of its own. Where I had full intention of taking it slow, my pelvis is like a heat-seeking missile. My cock is practically lined up with the gates of heaven. I can’t help but thrust. I’m only human and she’s so damn hot. I thrust against her again, loving the friction that’s building between us. She should slap some sense into me but instead she opens her legs wider, all spread out like a dream before me. And then she moans. Fuck that moan sets my body on fire for her. It’s the end of me. I crush my body down on hers. I take her mouth as if she’s my last breath of life. Sweeping my tongue inside her mouth, she grips hold of my biceps and her nails dig in deep. It only fuels the fire in me. I rock my hips into her, and her breath rushes into me. This is hot. This is so fucking hot. This is what I want. Mila breathing my every breath. I reach for her shirt, but the second I take hold of the material, she breaks the kiss. “Wait …” she gasps for air and then grabs hold of my hand. “Um … wait.” She slowly guides my hand away from her and then starts to push me back. “I should probably go in,” she whispers, sounding sad. She just went from smoking hot to ice. I blew it. I pushed her too fast. Fuck my life. “Yeah, it’s getting late. I have to go make sure the guys leave the house in one piece.” I pull her up with me, highly conscious of every move she makes. Our legs graze, our arms touch. I see skin everywhere. I need a cold shower, fast. I make sure I go down first. Yeah, I’m a creep, there’s no way I’m missing the view of her ass. I grab hold of her hips to help her down the last piece, but she surprises me and kicks herself away from the tree. “Catch me, Liam,” she laughs. I hold onto her and go with the momentum of her body pressing back into mine. I swing her in a half-circle before I set her down, but before I can pull back, she turns in my arms, stands on her toes, and pulls me down to her. “It’s not that I don’t want to, because I really do. I just need time. My life’s a mess right now.” Her mouth crashes into mine, and it’s hot. I love this care-free side of Mila, this side I’ve never seen before. She places another chaste kiss against my mouth. “Take as much time as you need,” I say as she starts to pull away. “Does that mean you’ll give us a

chance?” “Drive safely, Liam,” her voice is soft again. She’s back to being the withdrawn Mila I’ve always known. I hate that she closes up around me. It’s not that she doesn’t know me. We need to get past this for there to ever be an us. “Are you going to do this every time I ask a question? Only fun? I’m not allowed to get to know you?” “You said it would only be for the summer,” she throws my words back at me. “I’m not even sure I can give you the summer. There are things in my life I have to deal with. I have to find a job, get a place of my own. I’m just not in a good place right now.” The look on her face can only be described as confusion. Did I get this wrong? Does she see this as a fling, and I’m the only one that feels more? I wipe my face in frustration. I really like this girl, but shit, she’s complicated. None of my friends would’ve stuck around this long, and it’s only day one. Actually, no, it’s been two years. I’ve been in love with her for two years, and I’ve been trying my ass off to get her attention. “I only said that because I’ll be going to school in the city. How many different ways do I still have to say this to you? I want to get to know you. I want to see if we can be something before I leave. We could make something work while I’m away studying.” “I can’t.” The words are soft, but I hear them alright. “This, tonight … I can do tonight, but I can’t be something with someone.” She leaves me standing, or I let her go, I’m not sure which. When I drive away five minutes later, her light is still on. I’ll give her the time she needs to get used to the idea of us. Hell, I’ve waited two years, what’s a few more days?



Mila~ I make sure that Harper is asleep before I go look for Cathy where she’s sitting in the kitchen while working on her next article. “Hey, do you have a minute?” I ask as I go about making myself some coffee. “Sure.” She looks up from her laptop, giving me her full attention. “You want more?” I ask, holding the coffee cup to her. She takes it and I quickly make myself another before I sit down at the table. I take a sip and give her a shy smile. It’s not easy talking about myself, but Cathy always has the right answers, and she’s never pushy. I think a lot of people underestimate Cathy. She’s small and feminine, but she never backs down from a fight. She once told me that it’s not the size that matters but the heart. I swallow down a sip and then blurt it out, “I like a guy.” Cathy just looks at me, waiting for me to go on. “He’s really nice, Cathy. I had a panic attack and it didn’t freak him out. He’s not like all the other guys I’ve met before. But …” My shoulders drop and I sigh miserably. “But?” She places her cup on the table and leans back in her chair. “You’re scared of that cult? You still think they’ll come and yank you out of this life and drag you back?” I nod and feel the burn of tears in the back of my throat. “I don’t want him to get hurt, Cathy. And,” I take a deep breath to try and control my emotions, “I have to focus on Claire. How can I enjoy life while she’s suffering in the cult?” “Oh, kiddo,” Cathy sighs and then she reaches for my hand. She gives it a comforting squeeze. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again until you believe me. You’re entitled to happiness. You can’t build your happiness around the fact that you might save Claire. She might not want to come with you. Hell, she was seven when you last saw her. You have to prepare yourself for the fact that she might have already forgotten you. You said that most of the women there were happy to live those lives. You are one in a

million, kiddo. Not everyone is as brave as you are.” I swallow back the tears and try to smile but I know I’m not being very successful. “I want to save my sister so badly, Cathy. Half of the time it’s all I think about, and the other half…” Cathy smiles at me. “And the other half you spend dreaming about a life with this guy?” I nod. “It’s amazing how we clicked. It’s like we’ve known each other forever. He’s good. I can feel it, Cathy. I know I’ll be safe with him, but he won’t be safe with me. I care too much for him to place him in harms way.” Cathy thinks over my words and then she says,” Kiddo, you have to do what your gut tells you. I can’t give you any answers. Do what you feel is right. At the end of the day, only you have to live with the consequences of your choices.” She’s right. Cathy is always right. I have to make my own choices. I’m just about to get up when she says, “With all your climbing through the window because you’re too lazy to use the damn door, you’ve gone and chipped the paint off. There’s paint in the garage. If you’re so insistent on climbing through it, you can fix it.” I smile remorsefully. “I’ll take care of it this weekend.” “Oh, talking about this weekend. I’m leaving for a few days. I should be back around Tuesday if I get all the information I need.” I walk to Cathy and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Travel safely, Cathy.” “Will do, kiddo.”

If Harper glares at me one more time, I’m going to throw her with the first thing I lay eyes on. “I’m bo-o-o-o-r-” “Harper,” I throw my brush at her. “Shut the hell up!” She falls off the bed, taking half the blanket as cover with her. “Geez, go to your own room, would you?” I grab my laptop, and with a last scowl in her direction, I climb out of the window. Cathy has threatened to seal it shut plenty of times before. She doesn’t get why we can’t use the front door like the rest of civilization, but I like climbing through the window. It’s my short cut to my tree. I need to prepare for the interview for Assistant Social Worker and if I have to go to the tree house to get some quiet time, then I’ll just have to. “Oh, seriously? You’re gonna go to the tree house? You’re fucking twenty, Mila!” “It’s the only place you won’t follow me to.”

“That’s just … that’s low, even for you,” she says behind me. I laugh as I swing the laptop bag across my chest and start up the tree. “Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do,” I yell back to her. “Two can play this game, you know.” “All empty threats. You won’t come up here,” I call down to her. “The day you come up here is the day I sleep with my light off.” And that is the truth. Harper is afraid of heights, snakes and lately big crowds have been making her feel uneasy. We’re a great match, both weird as shit. “I didn’t say I was gonna climb up,” she growls. I throw the bag onto the platform and glance over my shoulder just in time to see her take out her phone. “Hello yourself,” she giggles into the phone. Shiiit, she’s giggling like a damn sixteen-year-old-hormonal-crazed-teenager-in-love … aww fuck! “No, Harper!” She gives me the middle finger. “You wanna come over?” I watch her do it all, twirling the hair, pouting the lips. You’d swear Mickey was standing in front of her. “No, we’re both at home. Bring the others. We can watch a movie or something.” She flips me off again the second I open my mouth. I haven’t seen Liam in a week. A whole seven days. “No, it’ll just be us. No, Cathy’s gone on an assignment,” she practically sings. “She’ll be back sometime next week.” “Harper!” She flips me off again and I slump down. God only knows how many people are going to come over now. I hear her flirt with Mickey some more before they say goodbye. “When the whole town decides to come party here, you will have to explain to Cathy why some drunk dude puked all over her roses.” She laughs at me. Great, she thinks I’m funny. “Get down, we have to get ready.” “Na-ah. You invited them, you entertain them. My ass is staying up here. I have work to do.” I give her my best pissed off impression. Harper gives me one more dark glare before walking back to the house. “Remember what I said, two can play this game.” “You suck,” I call after her. “Virgin Mary.” She flips me the bird again. “Stop calling me that … and stop flipping me off. Who’s childish now?” “I will if you tell me what happened between you and Liam last Friday. It’s been a week, Mila!

Mickey says he’s miserable. You’re no fucking box of chocolates, either.” “Nothing happened. Let it be.” “Fine - I will.” But she won’t. She climbs through the window but before she lets the curtain fall, she belts it out, “Virgin Fucking Mary.” I chuckle as I make myself comfortable, taking out my laptop from the bag. Damn, I should’ve remembered snacks. Too late now. “You should call her a whore,” Nathan mutters from below. I lean over the edge to see him leaning against the tree, his one foot propped up against the bark, his arms crossed over his chest. Oh-oh, someone pissed on his battery. Why the hell did he have to come over now? I’m so tired of his moody shit. I kissed the guy once, and it’s been almost five years since. I wish he’d get the message already. “I have work to do,” I snap. I’ve tried being nice to him, but the guy just doesn’t get the message. “Why are you friends with her anyway?” he asks, as if he actually has a right to know. “Ah, that’s none of your freaking business.” I sigh loudly, hoping he’ll hear it and leave. “None of my business? I thought we were friends,” he snaps. I watch him as he steps away from the tree, kicking at invisible rocks. “Friends? Are you being for real?” I hate being a bitch but this guy is really working on my last nerve. “Friends would mean that we actually like each other. We’re not friends, Nathan. You’re just the neighbor that won’t stop coming over.” “We kissed!” he shouts. I flinch back from the volume of his voice. “We’ve been friends since you moved here.” My breathing escalates at his anger. Maybe I’m taking on too much? This day is just going to shit. I’m not good at confrontations, especially when it’s with a man. “We kissed once and it was five years ago. I was a confused kid. It meant nothing.” “Fuck you! You’re nothing more than a fucking cock teaser,” he shouts. “Don’t talk to me like that!” My voice cracks, my breath hitches and my heart starts to thump heavily in my chest. I was hoping to avoid this fight with him. He’s freaking insane if he thinks we could ever be friends. I never led him on. I even tried to be nice to him for Cathy’s sake, but now he’s taking his creepy shit too far. Nathan stalks away, but halfway to his house he turns back. He runs his fingers through his already messy blonde hair, then yanks hard at it. When he looks up at me his eyes are pale, watered down. “And here I’ve been thinking Harper was the easy lay, but I’ve had it wrong all along.” I stay right where I am, kneeling on the hard wood, my hands in tight fists on my lap. My breaths are mere explosions over my dry lips. “Say something!” he screams, yanking at his hair again. “What do you want me to say?” I whisper, just wanting this fight to end already.

“That you’re worse than Harper. Admit it,” he spits. He places both his hands on his head and it makes him look gangly thin. Nathan is tall, almost as tall as Liam, almost six feet. Only he’s scrawny. He doesn’t have half the muscle Liam has. Now that I get a good look at Nathan, he looks pathetically thin. I hear doors slam and my eyes dart to where the guys are getting out of Mickey’s truck. I need to salvage this before it gets totally out of hand in front of them. Nathan points a long, scrawny finger at me and continues, oblivious to everyone behind him, “You’re just like the rest of them.” “Like who?” I keep my voice soft. My eyes dart to where I can see Hunter’s truck pull up. Shit, more people? My eyes do a wild dance from Nathan to where Mickey and Liam are coming up behind him. Mickey keeps walking to where Harper is coming out of the front door. She hasn’t said a word yet, and that might be a good thing. Nathan will only lose it with her. Nathan waves an arm through the air, and as he takes another step in my direction, Liam matches it, moving closer to him. “How much do you ask? What’s Mila Jameson’s price?” Nathan keeps yelling. I wish he’d stop. I shake my head at him, not even sure I’m fully following what he’s fighting about anymore. “Come on,” he sneers. “What’s your price, whore?” My breath slams into my throat. Shit, what did he just call me? I wait for the darkness to come, but it doesn’t. White-hot anger rages through me instead. I leap from the tree house, a growl ripping its way up my throat. My body slams hard into Nathan’s and I welcome the pain tearing through me as my chin hits his shoulder and my knees knock into the ground. I don’t think, I just act. With every ounce of rage pulsing hot through me, I throw my first punch into his chest. “Fuck you!” I scream at him. “I’m not a fucking whore!” “Get off-” I slam my fist right into his teeth, stopping his words from coming out, and I feel the pain eat at my knuckles. I only manage to punch him four more times before I’m pulled off him. “Let me at him!” I scream at the person who dared to pull me off. “You’re an asshole, Nathan! How dare you say that to me!” I yell, trying to get a kick in but my legs are too short. I try to yank free so I can continue to beat the shit out of Nathan. “That’s enough, Mila,” Liam’s voice is firm, close to my ear. It snaps me out of the rage, and right into a wave of embarrassment. My eyes dart around, from one shocked face to the another. They are all here, watching me lose my shit. Mickey, Blake, Hunter, Harper, even Maddy. Damn, by tomorrow the whole town of Bloomington will know I beat up my so called friend. “Let go of me,” I say softly. When Liam does, I look down at Nathan. Hurt explodes in me. “You

know what, Nathan? You’re just another man that thinks he’s a god. You’re nothing but a bully.” Nathan stares up at me, then he shakes his head before wiping the blood from his mouth. I hold up my hand when he starts to say something. “You know what? I don’t care what you think. You’re just another fucked up man.” I don’t wait for his response. I’m done listening to Nathan, running his mouth off about things he knows nothing about. He had no business saying that about me. I climb through the window and immediately start to look for my sneakers and iPod. I stuff the earphones into my ears and put my sneakers on. The second the music starts to blast through the earphones, I’m up and out the window again. I ignore everyone and jog right past them. Harper invited them, she can entertain them. I have to run the anger and embarrassment out of my system. I let the music take me away, my eyes on the road whooshing by under my feet. I keep going, letting my feet decide the turns, the pace, the destination. All I do is keep my eyes on the road. I don’t know how long I’ve been going when I start to slow down. I’m pissed all over again when I recognize Liam’s street. “Ugh, of all the streets my traitorous legs had to bring me to his,” I huff, all disgusted with myself. I turn around to start the run back to the other side of town, only to see Liam standing not too far away from me. I take the earphones out as he approaches me. He points to his house. “We might as well get some water. I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty.” “I-I,” Yeah, how about that? This is a whole different level of embarrassment. “C’mon, Mila, I’m all for training, but it’s Friday. Let’s call it a day.” He walks right by me and across their perfect green lawn. He’s not even out of breath. I’m still huffing and puffing like a dog in heat. I’m sweaty. I’m smelly. I take a whiff of myself as I start to follow him. “Eeww, downright nasty,” I mutter under my breath. “What you expect?” I didn’t think he would hear me, but apparently he did. “You don’t run across town and come out the other side looking as fresh as a daisy.” “Hardy-freaking-har.” I follow him into the Wright’s double story house, and the first thing that greets me is a painting of a woman’s back. It’s a nude from her butt to her shoulders. “Hey, there you are. What’re you looking at?” Liam comes to stand next to me, holding a bottle of water in front of me. “Here you go.” “Thanks.” I take a few sips. Gosh, I am thirsty. “Do you like it?” he asks, pointing to the painting. I take another look at it. “I don’t think so.” “Why?” “What do you see?” I ask, curious to know his thoughts.

“A woman’s back?” I watch his throat work as finishes his water. “I see a naked woman. She’s been stripped bare for all the world to judge.” I stare at it a little longer, thinking how Liam will soon be leaving. I’ve tried to avoid thinking of it, but, standing here, it’s staring me in the face. I can’t imagine the neighborhood without him. It’s going to break my heart whether we’re together, or not. I care so much about him. What if he meets someone else? God, I’ll die! “It tells me a sad story, Liam.” I take another sip of my water, trying to swallow the sadness down. “It kinda sucks, because the longer I look at it, the more I think of you going away.” I turn to face him, raising my eyes to his. They’re more intense than usual and I have to force myself to not look away. “But then, you’re going to study. The world is at your feet.” Okaaay … and on that serious note I do a full one eighty to head out the door again, but he grabs hold of my hand. “You just had water, you can’t run now. Let’s go sit out back.” I try not to think too much of it when he links his fingers with mine. We’re just friends. I mean, it’s not like I heard from him this week, and after the scene with Nathan, it’s a wonder Liam hasn’t gone all MIA on my ass yet. We weave through a modern looking lounge. A rusty, blood colored leather suite is decorated with black velvet pillows. Metal art catches my eye. It looks like a wave, but as we pass through the lounge and get closer, it takes the shape of a woman’s hip. We didn’t walk through the house last week. It’s nice seeing the place Liam calls home. Liam takes a hard left when the lounge opens up into a passage. I eye another more formal lounge through an open door and a dining room through another. It’s decorated much lighter than the one we just came through, in creams and peach colors. To my left is the kitchen, but I hardly get a look at it as my arm jerks right. The rest of me follows down a few stairs to where Liam leads me into an entertainment area. Oh, my freaking word, this place is huge! There’s a bar along the left side of the wall, lined with all kinds of bottles. I spot green ones, too, and can’t help but smile. There’s a pool table, dart board and flat screen TV in the corner. “Did the place come with a map?” “There’s the Mila I know,” he laughs. “No, no map.” He walks us through a double set of glass doors and at first all I see is a carpet of green grass, then the lake. “Let’s go sit by the lake.” I knew Liam came from money, but this is a whole different level of wealth. The place is totally gorgeous in daylight. “How good are you at swimming?” I ask as we get to the pier. If I fall in, I want to know he can get me out before I even set foot near that pier. “Not too bad. Why, you want to swim?”

I shake my head, taking a step back from the water. “Uh, no, but if I fall in, I want to know you can get me out before I blow my last bubble.” “I’ll have you out before you blow your first bubble,” he says confidently. “Is that so? You sound really confident.” That sounded like a dare. What the hell am I busy doing? He takes a step closer to me. “You want to test my confidence, Mila?” I shake my head. “No, I’ll take your word for it.” “So why did you never learn how to swim?” I dart a glance over the smooth water. I wish I felt that calm inside right now. Why does one little question have the power to rock my world like that? “I can float on water. At least I learned how to do that.” I walk out onto the edge of the pier and sit down, dipping the tips of my sneakers in the water. I kick slowly, making drops fly through the air and watch them sparkle in the sun. Liam sits down next to me, pressing his arm and leg against mine. It’s comforting having him this close to me. I haven’t told anyone what I’m about to tell him. “You can float but not swim?” he asks puzzled as he starts to take off his shoes and socks. “I’m from Utah.” I don’t expect a reply so I launch into the rest, before the memories can overwhelm me. “Cathy has been slowly teaching me how to do stuff.” I swallow down the memories and push through with the rest. “To make a long story short, where I’m from, women weren’t allowed to do much. Swimming was the last thing on my mind.” I reach down and take off my shoes. I inch over to the post and grip it tight. I don’t want to fall in. I lower myself slowly into the water, not looking for Liam’s reaction. The cool water laps around my calves, then my thighs. It swallows my hips, and with one shaky breath I spread my arms and kick myself away from the post. Focusing on the scattered clouds above, I concentrate on evening out my breaths as I beat my arms once through the water to steady my body, and then I still. I let the water take me as I float. “Cathy figured I should at least be able to float. She’s still going to teach me how to swim.” Liam doesn’t say anything. He better not pity me. If he reacts anything like Harper, I might just drown myself today. I hear a splash, but I keep my eyes on the scattered clouds, white feathery wisps against the powder blue heaven above me.

Liam~ It’s been the longest week of my life, not seeing Mila every day. When Mickey said we were heading over

to her place, I could almost taste the relief. When we got there, it’s hard to explain how I felt about what went down. I can’t wrap my mind around what Nathan said. I was just about to step in and break it up. I don’t care if they are ‘neighbors’, you have no business talking to another person like that. But then Nathan froze my ass on the spot with what he said about Mila, and when she jumped from the tree house and kicked his ass, damn, my heart all but stopped. It took me a good minute to get over the shock and pull her off him. I’m proud of her for standing her ground, but I hate that she got in a fight. She could’ve hurt herself. And then she decides to go for a run! Damn, who knew the girl could run that far? At least it gave me time to clear my head before we got to my house. As I swim out to her, where her body is stretched out on the water for all to see, I’m feeling two things - a burning rage towards Nathan, and that prickly warmth that keeps taking a jab at my heart. I just want to hold her. What she just said about her being from Utah and that women weren’t allowed to do much – it reminds me of the days Rosie and I had to go to the cult. I hate that Mila had to experience any form of oppression in her past. It brings back the old anger and it’s a bitter feeling to keep buried. “How old were you when Cathy taught you to float?” I say when I get close to her. I don’t care what she tells me as long as we can keep talking about her. “Gosh … ah … I think I was sixteen or seventeen, give or take.” “You’re kidding me,” I laugh. “That’s like three years ago. At the rate you’re going you’ll never learn.” Once the words are out, I want to kick my own ass. She snaps her head in my direction, losing her focus. I grab for her as she starts to sink, panic flashing in her eyes for a second. “Don’t worry, no bubbles.” Her hands grab at my shoulders, her fingers digging hard into my skin, and as her legs come around my waist all I can think is what a lucky dumbass that cousin of mine was last Friday. She clamps her legs around me, and first adjusts one arm around my neck before moving the other to grip hold of my shoulder. “If you let me go, I’ll come back and haunt your ass,” she threatens, her voice trembling. “Not a chance that I’m going to let you go. You can relax. I’ve got a tight grip on you, Mila.” I slide my hands from her back to her waist, tightening my grip there. “Nu-uh. Not letting go,” her voice is growing smaller. Damn, she’s really scared. “It hurts that you don’t trust me. You think I’ll let you drown?” I keep my voice light, although there really is a pang of hurt in my chest. I want her to trust me, to feel safe with me. She drops her forehead to my shoulder and brings her one hand to my bicep. “You’re not wearing

a shirt!” She sounds shocked as she slightly pulls away from me. “I normally don’t swim with a shirt on. You’re the only one I know who swims in clothes,” I deadpan. I’m smiling nonetheless. It’s taking her mind off drowning. “Oh, yeah?” She’s starting to sound breathless and it sends bolts of heat to where my cock is pressing not so unnoticeably against her. This is so not a good time to get a hard-on. “How did you learn to swim?” Her breath fans against my collar bone. Her lips are a barelythere touch against my skin. I keep my eyes locked on the house, for about another five seconds, then I give in and tilt my face to hers. “Hunter taught me in this lake. It was the Fourth of July and the whole family was here. Hunter had those wings on and Uncle Julian was already in the water with him … ah, Uncle Julian is Hunter’s dad,” I explain just in case she doesn’t know. She turns her head slightly and with a ghost of a smile around her lips, she looks up at me. I want her to smile more, so much more. Her eyes move down my shoulder to my arm making circular motions in the water. She’s watching me swim. I place a soft kiss on her hair before I continue, “I was eight and had this thing about wanting to be better than Hunter,” I laugh at the memory. It was before my mother lost her mind and tore our family apart. “I insisted there was no way I’d wear those water wings. Shit, did I swallow water that day, might even have swallowed a fish, or two.” I chuckle at the memories. “Everyone had gotten out to eat and I thought I’d show them. I ran down the pier, did a half ass jump off of it and belly flopped. It was one hell of a stinger. Hunter was the only one who saw me. He still had his water wings on, so he jumped in after me and saved my sorry ass. Then he showed me how to swim back to the pier. By the time my dad and Uncle Julian came looking for us, I was swimming on my own, thanks to Hunter.” Mila tightens her arm around my neck. Her other hand slides from my shoulder to my neck when she whispers, “You were really close back then already?” “Yeah, those were the good days.” I don’t mention Rosie and that it’s also one of the good memories I have of her. We were all so happy back then. Fuck, I miss those days. I miss hearing Rosie laugh. I miss seeing her do cartwheels across the lawn. It’s times like this – when I’m reminded of losing Rosie – that the hatred I feel for that cult comes back in full force.



Liam~ “Tell me more,” she whispers, pressing her face into the crook of my neck. Her mouth is hot against my skin and it makes me want to kiss her. I’m glad she can’t read my thoughts. I’m not ready to tell her about Rosie. I want today to be about me and her getting to know each other. That makes me clamp down on my memories and feelings. I need to stay focused on Mila for now. This is my one chance to make her see that we can be great together. “More?” Her breath fans warm over my throat, making it hard to concentrate on anything. She has to know how hard I am for her, with her pussy pressing down on me like that. My hand grows a mind of its own. I lift the hem of her shirt and start a slow caress on the strip of skin just above her shorts, working my way from her hip to her back. “Tell me your happy moments as a kid,” she murmurs, her voice vibrating against my skin. I tilt my head more so my mouth brushes along the side of her face, only stopping when I reach her ear. “Happy moments,” I whisper in her ear. I close my eyes, bringing up the first day I saw her. “This girl walked into class, and she took my breath away. I still remember saying thank you for her coming to study there. She was even smaller than Little Pete, and never said a word, not to anyone. When she finally made a friend, Harper was the lucky one. I tried to figure out what she did right just so I could do the same thing and make that beautiful girl my friend.” “Harper was a relentless little shit.” Mila lifts her head. There’s a soft smile around her lips. “I never knew.” Her words are barely a whisper, as soft as her fingers skimming up my neck, towards my jaw. She cups my cheeks, her hands smooth and cool against the stubble starting to form already. “Liam?” “Yeah?” I can hardly breathe with her this close to me. I watch her swallow hard. Her eyes jump to my mouth, only for an instant, before they come back to my eyes. “I’m sorry about last Friday, it’s just…” She tilts her head, looking away over my shoulder, but I catch the look in her eyes, a flash of hopelessness and fear. Something is keeping her from giving herself to me. I tighten my hold on her, my hand fanning open over her back. She arches into me, also tightening

her hold on me, and it encourages me to ask, “Tell me what’s making you hold back, Mila. What’s keeping you from spending this time with me, from trying to see if there can be more between us?” Her fingertips press hard into my shoulder blades and it’s only when her breaths start to heat the stretch of skin over my shoulder that I hear her breathing hard. She inches closer to me still, pressing her breasts hard into my chest and if it weren’t for her ragged breaths, I’d be turned on to the point of exploding in my pants. I slide my hand to her side so I can pull her back when I feel the ridges under my fingertips. I feel her tremble, I hear her gasp and it all makes sense – the marks I saw peeking out from under her shirt last Friday. I forgot about the damn marks. Are they the reason she stopped me? She keeps saying she’s different. Could it all be because of the damn scars? I want her to open up to me so badly, so I take a chance. “So there’s this girl, right, and I’m crazy about her.” Shit, my voice is trembling. I’m sure she can feel how my heart is racing right now. “She’s funny and likes to climb trees, or a specific tree that I know of. She loves feathers, even the plain grey ones. She gets drunk really fast and then wants to take over planets.” Her breathing calms to a few shaky ones. “I want this girl to take over my planet. I just don’t know how to convince her to do that.” The silence stretches between us. I don’t move my hand from her back, taking in the feel of the silky skin stretched thin over the welts. “I don’t know how to take over planets,” she says before a miserable, little laugh bubbles up her throat. “You’re doing a great job of it so far.” I’m taking in the fact that she’s letting me touch her back as a damn good sign, so I keep going. “I want to be with you, Mila, more than anything.” “I want to be with you, too, but-” That’s all I need to hear, all I want to hear. “No buts, nothing else matters. It only matters that you feel the same as me.” “Liam,” she cries, pushing away from me, but when she realizes she has nowhere to go in the water, she grabs hold of my biceps again. “I should’ve brought you into the lake sooner. It would’ve saved us a whole week.” “How do you figure that?” she says, scowling at me. She even looks cute scowling. I’m never going to be able to be angry at this girl. I’m so screwed. “You’re stuck, totally at my mercy. You have to talk this thing through before I’ll let you out of the water,” I say, grinning like the total douche I’m being right now. “You’re going to keep me here until I agree to date you?” She narrows her eyes at me and I feel the air shift between us to something more serious, intense. I stand my ground, because if there is one thing I want, it’s her. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Hmm.” What the hell does that mean? It’s like when a woman says fine. That one word has a zillion meanings. She glances up at the sky, then slides her hands up the sides of my neck. “I’d guess it’s around six, what do you think? We have another two hours of sun. I don’t mind seeing who can last the two hours before sunset.” “You think I can’t hold you for two hours?” She obviously doesn’t know how much I want her. “You weigh nothing, Mila.” “It’s not holding me that’s going to be your problem, Liam,” her voice drops. Sweet Lord, it sounds like velvet. She tightens her legs around me and lets go with her hands. For a second I think she’s going to fall back, but then she reaches down between us, into the water. The movement is swift. I really didn’t see it coming until the material passes over her head. I make a sound, something between a growl and a moan, and she smiles as if she’s already won. Droplets of water run down her face, her neck, and I keep following them to the swells of her breasts peeking from the bra she’s wearing. It’s cute as hell. It’s a soft pink color and is covered with little blue dots. The lace cups her perfectly. All the blood rushes to my cock. Oh shit, I’m screwed. The slap of her shirt over my shoulder rips my eyes away from her breasts, and I find that my legs have to work harder to keep us above the water. She might just win the challenge after all. “You’re such a guy, Liam,” she teases. “One peek at the girls and we almost go under.” “Actually, this is perfect.” I keep my voice neutral, smirking a little. “You can keep going. Don’t let me stop you now,” I throw the dare back at her. “Are you being for real?” “Hey, this was your idea. I didn’t tell you to start stripping. I figure I can stay out here until you’re all out of clothes. Nothing on God’s green earth will be able to distract me from you giving me a personal strip show.” The sweetest laughter bubbles up, and my eyes drop back down to her bouncing breasts. It’s taking everything I have not to grab hold of her hips and press her down on me. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?” she teases. “Just sayin’,” I joke back. Mila leans in, brushing her lacy bra against my chest. My heart stutters, and I swear everything in me jumps to attention. Damn, that feels good. She presses harder against me and it gives her a super-hot cleavage, one she doesn’t hesitate to rub against me. My body starts to hum with need for this girl. I slide my hand up to her neck, soaking in the feel of her soft skin.

“Do you still feel brave, Liam?” Her voice drops to a murmur, and I think it’s about time I turn the tables on her before I lose it and grab her right here in the lake. “The question was never about how brave I was, Mila.” Using my other hand, I lift her higher so she’s face to face with me, and her warm center is around my abs. “It’s about how brave you choose to be, Mila,” I say, daring her with my eyes to give us a chance. “What’s your definition of bravery?” “Someone who keeps going against all odds.” That answer came easy. I really believe it’s someone who never gives up. They keep going no matter what. Only the bravest survive. Her face clouds over, her eyes dropping to my chest. That was not the reaction I expected. Her voice is hoarse when she whispers, “Cathy called me brave once. She said I beat the odds, that I’m one in a million.” I tilt my head, trying to catch her eyes, and when I do I grip her closer to me. She has the same scared look she had last Friday before she freaked out. She’s been giving me all these little pieces of herself today. I want to take every bad memory she has and replace them with good ones. I don’t want Mila to suffer. Watching how Rosie was destroyed by those people almost killed me. I won’t let that happen to Mila as well. Mickey’s right, she’s got me by the nuts. She’s watching me closely and I know she’s taking in my reactions to what she’s telling me. I’ll deal with it all later, when I’m alone. Right now, I’ll be whoever she needs me to be. I dare asking her another question, hoping she’ll tell me more. “What odds?” She opens her mouth and I can see she’s trying to form the words. Her eyes glaze over with pain and then she whispers, “Liam.” She makes my name sound like a prayer. It happens fast. Her breaths start to wheeze and I feel her heart hammering against my chest. That was one question too many. I don’t hesitate and bring us to the pier in record time. I hold her shaking body to mine as I haul us out with one arm. When I set her feet down on the wood, her breath hitches and I wait to see what she’ll do next. She doesn’t freak out like last Friday. She slams her tiny body into mine, wraps her arms around my waist and clings to me. It feels good. She chose me instead of letting the panic attack take her. She finally chose me. I hold her to me, enjoying that, in this moment, I am stronger than whatever Mila fears. She might not realize it, but there is no way I’m going to let her go now. Her breathing calms slowly, and after a little while her voice comes out, trembling at first. I lean in closer to catch every word.

“They were all just sitting outside the house, like it was just another day. Don’t ask me why I did it, I just did.” Mila tightens her arms around me, as if she’s trying to burrow deeper into my chest. “I buried her wedding ring in the sand when she wasn’t watching. She had forgotten it right by the kitchen sink after doing the dishes. When she started to look for it, I got scared. I knew I’d be in trouble so I went to hide from them.” She turns her face into my chest and by drawing her shoulders up, she manages to make herself even smaller. A protective instinct flares hot through me and I wrap my arms tighter around her, wanting to shield her with everything I am. I won’t let her down. This time I’ll fight harder. I’ll be there for Mila. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be. I won’t fail again. “There was an old suitcase under the bed he slept on whenever it was her turn for him to visit. I was so scared. I didn’t think. I got in it and pushed my way back under the bed. They found me later that night. I’d managed to stay hidden since the morning. A whole day I stayed in that suitcase listening to them calling for me. But I knew then already to be scared … to fear them.” My heart aches when I think of her small and scared. She rubs her cheek against my chest, her voice barely a trembling whisper. “I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have stayed so long. I should’ve run away sooner … but I was too scared that they would find me.” I stand, shocked. What kind of life did Mila have before she came to Bloomington? “What happened when they found you that day?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer. “I was punished and I had to repent.” She shivers and I start to rub some warmth into her back. The word repent sticks with me. I’ve heard Elijah and the men from the cult say it a lot. For a horrible moment the thought crosses my mind that Mila could be from a cult, but I quickly dismiss it. “He came into my room. The light was off and he told me …” She turns her face fully into me, her body trembling in my arms. “It’s okay,” I say, not knowing what else to say right now. I press my mouth into her hair and whisper the words again. “It’s okay.” “It’s the first night he told me that I’m tainted …” She sucks in a breath and then the words come out hoarse and broken. “He said I’d never be good enough for anyone. He said I was nothing more than a disgrace to my family … a burden.” She makes a tiny sound, muffled against my chest, but it vibrates all the way to my gut. What kind of parent does something like that? Then again, I know what kind of parent – someone like my mother. I drop more kisses in her hair. If I could swallow her with my body, I would. My throat grows thick, wishing I could erase all her bad memories. “Tell me how you got hurt,” I start a slow caress over the right side of her back where the scarring is. “It wasn’t just one time. Every time I didn’t do something right, I got punished.” I drop my eyes

slowly from where I’ve been looking at the porch wrapping around our house, to her back. I hate seeing the welts left on her creamy skin. I’ve never talked to anyone about Rosie. Sure, the people around here found out, but that’s because of my cousins dropping a word here and there. I haven’t even said Rosie’s name out loud since we moved from Utah to Bloomington. Weird – that both Mila and I are from Utah. Seems everyone is crazy in that state. “I’ve never told anyone any of this,” she murmurs, yanking me from my thoughts, and it’s quite the revelation. “Not even Harper?” I ask anyway. I want to hear her say it. A selfish part of me needs to hear it. “Nope, tag you’re it,” she sighs into me and if it weren’t for the fact that I just saw Uncle Julian opening the balcony door, I’d stay like this the whole night, with her pressed up against me, but“My uncle just got home. I think it would be better if you meet him wearing your shirt,” I say as casually as I can keep my tone. I start to laugh as she jerks away from me. “He’s here? Where?” She keeps darting glances over her shoulder, while trying to find her shirt. “Where’s my shirt?” she whispers. We look at each other at the same time, realizing the same thing. It’s somewhere in the lake. “Oh you have got to be joking! My shirt is fish bait? You face him without a shirt.” She wiggles her tiny finger at me, grabs my shirt that’s lying on the pier, drags it over her head and looks pleased with herself for solving her problem. “I like you in my shirt, Mila.” “You mean my shirt.” She stands on her toes, places a firm kiss on my lips, then picks up her shoes before walking in the direction of the house. “If that’s payment for the shirt, I have about thirty more in my room if you want them,” I call after her. I grab my shoes, socks and phone, and go after her. “You think the others got something to eat while we’ve been gone? I’m hungry,” I say as we walk together to the house. Tonight is going to be awesome, I can just feel it. Tonight is the start of us.

Mila~ “Let me just grab some clean clothes, and then I’ll call Mickey. My truck is here so we can always grab some pizza on the way back to your place if they didn’t get anything yet.” He speaks the magic words.

“Hawaiian! Get that and I’ll do it, Liam,” I turn around and walk backwards to watch his reaction. “You’ll do what?” he asks, a slow smile starting to pull at the corner of his mouth. Damn, he’s so hot. My favorite actor, Chris Hemsworth, has nothing on this guy. When his hand slipped up my shirt I waited for the panic, but there were only tingles, sparkles, fire crackers! I’m slipping into a Liam coma. I can’t stop talking to him. It’s like he’s sucking it out of me with those eyes. There’s no pity from him. He takes what I tell him and he just absorbs it. He just takes it all from me. “I’ll give us a try,” I yelp with laughter, as he launches at me. I don’t even get to turn around in time when his hands grip hold of my hips and he yanks me back against him. I want to drool every time he pulls me up against his hardness. It’s like he wants me to feel what I’m doing to him. The only reason I’m wearing his shirt is so he doesn’t have to. I’d like to make a calendar of him for my wall. Liam is off the charts sexy, just a whole lot of swoon worthy body to ogle. Something vibrates between us, right against my thigh, and I can’t help but giggle. “You’re vibrating, Liam. Not exactly the reaction I was going for,” I say in my most flirtatious voice. Yeah, that right there is the end of me. I start to laugh. “Da-aymn, Mila,” Liam says clearing his throat, acting shocked. It only makes me laugh more. “I really have no comeback for that one.” He sets me down. I try to get my laughter under control while he talks to Mickey. I only pay attention to what he’s saying when I hear my name. “Tell Harper that Mila is fine. No, don’t,” Liam rolls his eyes, then drags his hand through his hair. “No, Harper, she’s fine. We’ll pick up the pizza. Seriously, girl, you need to chill.” I start laughing again. I can only imagine the third degree she’s giving him. “Nooo, mom,” he stretches out the words, throwing his hand in the air. “We skinny dipped. Sorry, we forgot to use protection.” My jaw drops as he cuts the call, grinning. “That should shut her up,” he says, all pleased with himself, then he sees my face. “What, too much?” I can feel the heat crawling up my neck. “You just implied that we … ah,” I wiggle a finger between us, “you know.” “We almost skinny dipped, and she doesn’t have to know we didn’t use sunblock. Damn, Mila. You have a one track mind. Is that something I should worry about? First vibrators, now sex. What are you going to think of next?” I choke on a cough. “Spit … wrong hole.” He starts to laugh, enjoying every second of my embarrassment. I’ll get him back. “Just you wait, Liam,” I huff. “Payback’s a bitch.”

“As long as you’re the one dishing out the payback, things might just get kinky.” I pretend to be offended, widening my eyes. “You calling me a bitch?” He widens his eyes and tries to look all innocent. “I wouldn’t dare, babe.” I plant my butt on the grass and quickly put on my sneakers. When I finish, Liam holds out his hand to me and I grab hold, letting him pull me up. I can’t believe I’m here, at his house. Then again, so much has changed between us in the last few days. He’s … wow, he’s actually human. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He tilts his head, his lips starting to curve into a smile. He has always been this attractive crush to me, but now that I’ve seen more of him, he’s reached a whole new level. His dark brown hair is spikey and messed up, water drops sparkle in it. His dark brown eyes rest warm on me. My eyes drink in the chiseled features of his strong face, but I no longer see the boy I fell in love with. I see a twenty-two-year-old man … a man I can love. When did this go from a one night thing to love? I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the thought. I can’t love him. I can’t do that to him. Scared that he’s already seen too much on my face, I turn around and start to jog the last piece to his house. “Hurry up,” I yell back to him, hating that I sound breathless, but hoping he’ll think it’s because I’m jogging. “I can hear that pizza calling my name.” Thank God for big houses. I feel relieved when we don’t run into his uncle. Liam manages to sneak me into his room, which is a bonus. I get a peek into who he is. The first thing I see is how neat his room is. Damn, what must he have thought of my room last week after Hurricane Harper went through it? I’ve never been in a guy’s room before. I take a deep breath to steady myself. I can do this. I can be normal. I want to be the girl Liam wants to be with. I want it so badly. “Here’s a clean shirt you can change into. I’m going to shower quickly while you change.” “Okay,” I only manage a whisper. And it’s really okay, because I’m not freaking out like I thought I would and that alone is a miracle. “Thank you,” I blurt out the words, as I take the shirt from him. His smile softens and he brings his hand up to my cheek. Brushing his fingertips down to my chin, he tilts my face up to his. “Any time.” His voice is low and my stomach tightens as his eyes drops to my mouth. I get the feeling he knows I’m saying thank you for so much more than just the shirt I’m twisting in my hands. Nervous anticipation starts to coil inside of me. I actually do feel like the Virgin Mary right now. Harper would have such a hoot if she had to see me now, unsure of what to do.

Last week I was brave because he pretty much knew nothing about me. Also, he wasn’t staring at me the way he is right now - as if he’s a starving man and I’m his last meal. My eyes drop to his neck, unable to handle the intensity of his eyes any longer. Kiss me … I try some Jedi mind tricks. His other hand slips up my back towards my neck. Yes! Progress. I inch a little closer and tilt my head, giving him the universal sign for ‘kiss me now’. I’m about to start climbing up his bare chest when he lowers his face to mine. My eyes dart between his full lips and gorgeous brown eyes, begging him not to stop this time. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Darn it! And he stops a tempting inch from my mouth. I can’t keep the frustrated groan back any longer. His hand bunches in the shirt, between my shoulder blades, and he pulls me in the last inch. At long last, our lips touch. The same sparks sizzle through my nerve endings just like the last time he kissed me. When his tongue slips into my mouth, explosions erupt behind my eyelids. I drop the shirt I’m holding and reach for him, needing to touch him. I stand on my toes to get closer to him, wanting to feel his body press against mine. At first he kisses me slowly, keeping the strokes tentative. When I slip my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers into his hair, the game changes. He pushes me back with his body and the one step I take knocks me into his bed. I know I was brave earlier, taking my shirt off and all, but that was almost the same as wearing a bathing suit. This … this is his bedroom, his bed. I’m not ready for sex with his uncle in the house somewhere. I try to keep my focus on the kiss, but I can’t, not with my nerves going crazy inside of me. He leans in closer and I lean backwards to accommodate his weight. There’s no way I’m going down on his bed. Suddenly, he pulls away, and he gives me a worried look. “What’s wrong?” As if every drop of blood I have is pumping into my face, my cheeks flush scarlet. “Ahhm…” I try to buy some time but I can’t think of a valid excuse. How do I tell Liam I’m not the usual quick screw his friends are used to? I know I shouldn’t put him in the same boat as them, but I don’t know what his expectations are right now. Oh my gosh! I’m such a hypocrite. I want him so bad, just not with his uncle roaming the hallways. I want it to be special. Liam has so much more experience than me that it’s kind of frightening. He’s going to laugh at me like Harper does. I’m an idiot for thinking this could work. “Mila, c’mon, don’t look at me like that.” His voice is soft. Then he pulls me down to sit on the bed anyway.

My whole body goes rigid the second my butt touches his bed. My heart is pumping like crazy, ensuring every drop of blood stays in my face. It’s so not helping. “Nothing’s wrong,” I mutter, feeling more like an idiot as the seconds tick by. It’s not a big deal, right? I’m not in the order anymore. I have to get my shit together. Most people have sex by the second date. I think. I sit up straighter and, oh no, I can feel it coming – I’m going to start babbling. I bite the corner of my mouth to try and keep it in but it still just bubbles up. “It’s really nothing, just a minor little thing.” I pinch my thumb and forefinger together to emphasize how minor. “You just caught me off guard.” Oh shit, here it comes. I even lift my hand to my throat. I think I was aiming for my mouth but I missed. I rattle on, “You’re more experienced than I am. You and you’re friends have been with so many girls.” I throw my arms wide for extra effect. “Me, I’ve … ” No! Don’t you dare say it, Mila! I slap my hand over my mouth, but I still manage to mutter a few choice words out between my fingers. “I wouldn’t know what to do with you.” I jump up and quickly walk to the bedroom door, putting some space between us. I can’t believe that just came out of my mouth. I stare at the ceiling with wide eyes, my body on fire with embarrassment. “Ah … if you have some sort of delete function, now would be an awesome time to use it. Just like delete the last ten minutes. That … that would be so freaking great,” I mumble under my breath. I grab hold of his door, yank it open and aim for the quickest exit in human history.

Liam~ Mila leaving is not a good thing. I snap out of my shocked state when she yanks the door open and practically hurl myself at her. Her eyes go wider when I press the door closed and slide between her and the only way out of my room. There’s no way she’s leaving. I’m not letting her run anymore. “Can I say something now?” She takes a small step back, refusing to meet my eyes. “So much for hoping you had a delete function,” she mutters. I’m not at all sure what just went down. I do know Mickey’s past just bit me in the ass. Yes, I’ve been with a few girls, but none of them compares to Mila. And I’m not sure if being with three qualifies me for manwhore status, but that number is nothing close to Mickey’s headcount.

“Look, I know I have a reputation-” Her head snaps up. “No!” She holds her hand up between us, a look of misery flashing across her eyes. “Shit, I didn’t mean to insult you, Liam. I didn’t mean it that way at all.” A frustrating noise escapes her and then my heart melts as she pouts, makes the cutest damn puppy face I’ve ever seen. I think she’s trying to look miserable, but damn, she’s looking cute. “You don’t have a reputation at all. That came out all wrong. I’m screwing this up.” She hangs her head for a second before she whispers, “I-I haven’t.” She glances shyly up at me, her eyes jumping between my chest and my eyes. “You haven’t?” I’m not following her. “You know.” She tilts her head and widens her eyes. I’m still not following her. She widens her eyes a little more. “Damn, Liam! Do I have to spell it out for you? I haven’t done the deed. Crossed the line. Taken the plunge. Oh my freaking word.” She rolls her eyes and sighs as she mutters, “I haven’t had sex, Liam.” Oh, that’s it? That’s the problem? No one has touched Mila. Relief suddenly fills my chest. Thank God. “Delete function, you really don’t have one of those?” She squints up at me, looking mortified that she had to tell me. “So that what’s been bothering you all this time?” She nods shyly. I take hold of her chin and lift her face to mine. “I’m not going to lie. I want you, all of you. I want to know what makes you happy. I want you to share all your memories with me, but I want you to do it at your pace.” She drops her eyes from mine and takes hold of my wrist. A panicked look crosses her face and I can’t help but think there is still something big that can come between us. “Mila, I’ve wanted you for two years, so believe me when I say I really want to make this work. I can be patient. Trust me. I’m in love with you. Nothing can change that.”

Mila~ I tell him I’m a virgin and he tells me he’s in love with me. Most guys tell you to take a hike, but not Liam Wright. He slaps me with a love declaration and then goes to take a shower, leaving me all flustered and stunned. I change into the clean shirt he gave me. It’s one of his baseball shirts from his high school. I tie it at my waist so it doesn’t look like a dress. Expedition Liam commences. I make sure the water is running before I start snooping if you can call glancing around snooping. He likes war movies. He has a whole collection of DVD’s. Black Hawk Down, Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, The Hurt Locker, Saving Private Ryan, gosh the list goes on. Talk about a gore junky. He even has a Navy SEAL and USMC poster up on his wall. I wonder what Liam will look like in uniform. Yummy, can only be good. He comes out of the bathroom, and I flush scarlet as if he can actually hear my thoughts. Feeling guilty for snooping, I tuck my hands behind my back. “Some collection you have here.” He looks edible in a pair of faded jeans. He’s wearing a white t-shirt with a blue button up hanging open over it. Gorgeous, from his boots to his tousled hair. “What kind of movies do you like?” he asks. I look back over his collection. “Ah … I’m more a fantasy type person. Give me Avatar, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, that kinda thing and I’m as happy as a pig in sh … yeah, well … uhm.” I clap my hands together, feeling a little uncomfortable. “Safe to say we won’t be going to the movies together,” I joke to try and lighten the fact that I was snooping. “Never said I didn’t like fantasy,” he says. I swallow hard and my heart does a sky dive straight to my stomach when he comes right at me and leans into me. Oh, wow, he smells good. Sign me up as a Liam groupie. “Here’s the rest,” he whispers over my head. I look over my shoulder. Ugh, idiot. So much for the leaning in thing. He’s reaching for a DVD

rack behind the stack of war DVD’s. And there they are, a whole stack of comedies, fantasy and sci-fi movies. “Movie freak,” I mutter. “C’mon, I’m hungry. Feed the stomach.” I refuse to get out of his truck when we get to the pizza place. A girl’s got to have some pride. “I look like a bad version of some lost swamp girl. No way.” “You really care what people think about you?” This guy really has me all figured out. “No. You think you’re so good, don’t you?” I stick my tongue out and open the door, signaling he’s won this round. With damp shorts, and sporting half the lake in my hair, I turn to get out. Yeah, hold that thought. “I need a ladder, or climbing gear, or a parachute, or-” “Or wait for me,” he laughs. He jogs around the truck while I wait for him, swinging my legs. He grabs hold of my hips and I take advantage of the situation to get closer to him. I throw my arms around his neck and make my voice all breathless. “My hero. I would have done the hair toss, but it’s all tangled.” He doesn’t let go of me, but instead pushes me up against the body of the truck once he’s lifted me out. Tiny sparks flare across my skin as his mouth brushes along the side of my face all the way to my ear. A tightening starts in my abdomen. I clench my legs together as the need I’ve been feeling around him the whole day keeps growing. His lips brush mine and I open my mouth for him instantly. I’m intoxicated by him. “You guys need to get a room,” the bitchy comment rips through our moment. He pulls away slowly and I drop my chin to my chest, trying hard not to grind my teeth. Hailey Young. She’s so pretty that every time I’m near her, I feel like an old rag. I try to slip by Liam, but he tightens his hold on my waist, holding me back. “How are you, Hailey?” I lean back against the truck. I can’t believe I have to listen to Liam and Hailey. I’d rather be ordering pizza. “I’m fantabulous!” Huh? I cringe at the word and the whiny way she says it. She walks closer, swinging her hips. Damn, you’ve got to admire the swinging skills the girl’s got. I’d swing myself right off balance. I’m being bitchy. I need to stop. Hailey’s never been nasty to me. “Getting pizza?” she asks. “Yeah, just about to head inside.” Shit, this can go on forever. “Where’s Mickey and the others?” She glances at me and I’m surprised to see something like curiosity on her face. Is that for me or Liam? “At Mila’s.” Liam’s voice drops with the two words. My eyes snaps to his face to see if he’s embarrassed to say that, but instead I see his eyes smoldering and his jaw is clenched. He looks pissed.

“What, are you two … like … together now?” Hailey asks surprised. “Not that it’s any of your business,” Liam leans against the truck, next to me. He keeps his one arm around my waist, “but yes, we’re together, or whatever you want to call it. Mila’s my girlfriend.” Girlfriend. Wow. I grin like an idiot when we finally get to go inside to order food. The girlfriend comment totally made my day.

Liam~ The definition of perfect: Mila asleep on my lap while we’re watching movies. Mickey and Harper have been missing since we put the last movie on and Maddy fell asleep on the bed Hunter made for her on the floor. Blake keeps dozing off. Earlier, Maddy mentioned she had a fight with Hailey. It would seem that Maddy finally got some sense and kicked Hailey to the curb. Good for her. Watching Hunter inch his way under the blankets next to Maddy, and trying not to wake her, is hilarious. I glance down at the sleeping angel on my lap. I don’t want to wake her, but she can’t sleep like this the whole night. I reach for the remote and toss it on Hunter’s chest. “Put everything off before you fall asleep, dipshit.” “You gonna go sleep?” “Yeah, she can’t sleep like this. Hands above the blankets. Don’t scare Maddy.” “Up yours, numbnuts.” I pick Mila up, cradling her against my chest, and slowly make my way to her room. Everything is dark. A little light would’ve been awesome. I can hear Mickey’s voice as I pass Harper’s room, and I know Mila’s is next. She stirs in my arms. “Liam?” Her voice is all sleepy and she snuggles closer to me. “Yeah, I’m here.” I nudge her door open and after I’ve slipped inside, I kick it closed behind us. I place her on the bed before lying down beside her. She snuggles back against me and presses her face to the side of my neck, and then I hear her take a deep breath. “I’m tired.” She sounds exhausted as she presses herself closer to me. I grab the blanket lying across the foot of her bed, the one we used last Friday, and drape it over her. “Try to sleep again. I’m not going anywhere.” “I don’t mean that kind of tired. Don’t you ever wonder what’s the point? Why are we born? Why

do we live? Do you think you have a purpose?” “I’ve never thought about it like that. There is you, and my family and friends. Life is full of purpose.” She’s silent for a long while. I close my eyes for a second and I start to drift off when she sits up. She reaches over me and switches on the light next to the bed, then scoots off the bed. Earlier, when we got here, she showered and just left her hair to dry. It’s falling in brown waves to below her shoulders. She strips off the shirt she has on while walking over to her dresser, and my mouth dries right up. With her back facing me, I watch her unclasp her bra and then slip on a cream sleeveless shirt. My heart stutters when she shimmies out of her jeans. I roll a little forward to cover the growing problem I’m getting from the show. She bends over to grab a pair of shorts from the bottom drawer, only making my problem worse. This girl’s going to be the death of me. I watch the material slip up her legs and wet my dry lips. When she turns around, I don’t even pretend not to be watching her. Her eyes widen slightly in surprise. “I thought you fell asleep,” she whispers, looking a little nervous. “Wide awake now.” I hold my hand out to her and she doesn’t miss a beat. She bounces onto the bed and flops down beside me, her hair fanning over the pillow. “Tell me why you feel tired.” She turns on her side and snuggles closer to me until our bodies are huddled tightly together. “That’s a story for another day,” she whispers. I let it go, knowing she’ll tell me when she’s ready. “Hey, can I try something?” I slide my one arm in under her, so I can hold her better. “Okay,” she says hesitantly. “Tell me when it gets too much. I just want to try this,” I say, while reaching back to switch the light off. I want to show her there’s nothing to be afraid of in the dark. Her hands grip my shirt, but I push through. I bring my hand back to her arm and slide it up until I reach her face. Then I lean in so she can feel my breath on her lips. I press my lips softly to hers in a barely-there kiss. “I now understand why you kept to yourself, but you have so much to offer the world. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You have to let everybody see the Mila I’ve seen today. You’re an amazing person.” I give her another barely-there kiss. “I know you’re scared of the dark,” I brush my cheek against hers, just savoring the feel of her against me, “but I want to replace it. Hear my voice instead, telling you that you mean the world to me. Feel me right here with you.” Her hands crawl up my chest and when she reaches my neck, she pulls me to her. Our mouths crash into each other, sparking a scorching heat. I let her take what she needs. This is about her, not me.

She tastes so damn sweet as her tongue brushes over mine. Instantly, I grow hard as her kiss grows more urgent. Our tongues twist and when I nip at her bottom lip, she brings her one hand down to my chest. Our heated breathing is the only sound in the room. She pushes me onto my back and for a second I’m confused until she follows, crawling on top of me. Hell yes! I like where this is going. Her leg slides over my waist and she straddles me. A surge of frustration washes through me. I want the clothes gone. I want to feel Mila - skin to skin against me. She pushes her hips down, rubbing her core against my cock. When this happens, it will be over in a matter of seconds. I want her that badly. A soft moan slips from her lips and it’s the hottest sound I’ve ever heard. I pull myself up against the headboard and remove my shirt while I’m at it. “This one, too,” she whispers, tugging at the t-shirt I have on underneath. I let her pull it over my head. Delicious shivers rush over my skin as her fingers trace a hot path down my chest to my abs. “What are you doing, Mila?” I need to know what her intentions are, just how far she wants to take this. “Second base.” The two magic words fall hot against my jaw. Her hips move again, rocking hard against me. We both groan and if she keeps pressing down on me like that, I’m going to detonate like a damn nuclear warhead. I grab hold of her hips with the intention of keeping her still but she has other ideas. She starts a slow and steady rhythm, up and down against me. “Shit, Liam,” she moans, her breaths coming faster. I pull her shirt up and over head, fast. I can’t see anything, but just knowing she’s topless is hot. My right hand finds her breast like a magnet. Wanting to hear her moan again, I start placing kisses down her neck, working my way to her breasts. My mouth trails the curve of her breasts until I find her hard nipple. I suck it into my mouth which earns me that sweet moan. Her hands grip hold of my hair, and she arches her back, thrusting her breasts into my face. This night couldn’t have worked out more perfect. I need more of her. I kiss my way back up to her ear, placing a final kiss just below her earlobe. “I want to touch you, Mila. Dammit, I want you so much.” “Okay.” No hesitation. I roll her over until she’s lying on her back. I grip hold of her panties along with her shorts and drag them down her legs. It makes my insides turn to molten lava with want. She’s fucking naked beneath me. Heaven.

I place a few kisses on her thighs, wishing I could see her right now. It’s never bothered me if I have sex with the light on or off. But, hell, I want to see her so badly. I want to drink in the sight of her. As I crawl up her body, she brings her knees up on either side of me, giving me full access to her sweet center. I place my hand on her hip, and it’s heavenly to feel her bare skin beneath my fingertips. Shit, I want my clothes gone, but the second I remove my pants, it will be game over. I lie down on top of her and rub myself against her center. Dry humping has never been such a turn on for me before. “Do that … do it again,” she breathes hard. Her nails dig into my shoulders and she pulls me down to her mouth. I roll my hips into her again and her body shudders under mine. Her tongue starts a fast and hot assault on me. Every nerve in my body is tingling. Every inch of me is on fire for her. I slide my hand from her hip, and when my hand cups her, we both moan. Our mouths are inches from each other. I can see her eyes shining in the dark. “Mila, you’re so ready,” I groan. She moves her hips up, pressing herself into my hand. She sucks in a deep breath, her movements becoming erratic with the lust building up between us. Damn, it’s not going to take much to satisfy my girl. She wasn’t joking when she said she’s a virgin. “I’ve never …” she tries to speak when a low moan builds up in a throat. “Oh … shit, Liam.” Cupping her, I slip a finger inside her. She gasps sharply, her body tenses for a moment, and then a sweet tremble rocks her. “Tell me if it hurts,” I whisper. Because, shit, the last thing I want to do is hurt her. “Uh-huh,” she mumbles, then she brushes her cheek against mine, pressing soft kisses along my jaw. I move my finger deeper inside of her, rubbing slow circles over her with my palm. She’s so damn tight. It’s going to feel like heaven to be inside of her. She slides her hands to my sides and I take it as a good sign. I pull out slowly. When I thrust in, deeper this time, her body arches into mine. She wraps her arms around my waist, clinging tightly. “Ow.” The one soft word makes me freeze. Can you take a girl’s virginity this way? I’ve never been with a virgin. Dammit, I should’ve asked the guys about this shit first. “Ow, how?” What the hell am I asking her? “Uncomfortable. Just,” she takes a deep breath, “keep going.” “We can stop.” I start to pull away, but Mila grabs hold of my wrist. Her head falls back against the pillow.

“Don’t stop. I want this. Touch me, Liam.” She presses my hand harder against her, forcing me back inside her, and it’s so damn hot. She doesn’t have to ask me twice. I move slowly, checking her reaction. When she pushes up against my hand, I relax. I start gently, sliding my finger deeper with every thrust. Her breathing starts to pick up and she tightens her grip on my wrist. “Is that better, baby?” “So good,” she breathes. Her other hand finds its way along my abs, making a torturous path to my jeans. I feel her unbutton it and then the zipper goes next. She lets go of my wrist to yank my jeans away and pull my boxers back. The second her fingertips brush the head of my erection, I almost come undone. “Fucking hell, Mila!” I bury my face in her hair. Every muscle in my body tightens as she grips me. This is more than I could ever ask for. She starts her slow assault on me, working her hand up and down the length of me. The faster I thrust my fingers in and out of her, the quicker she strokes me. “Liam, I’m gonna … this is,” she throws her head back. I know what she means. She has to stop or I’m going to cum all over her. I bring my other arm down between us and cover her hand, holding it still against me. Her body shudders under mine and when she opens her legs wider for me, I groan and quicken my pace. “Ah … Liam!” She yanks her hands from my pants and covers my hand with both of hers, holding me to her as her breathing hitches. It’s the most beautiful sound ever. Her movements slow down, and her hips start to do an erotic grind against me, as she rides out her orgasm. “Liam,” she whispers as the last of the trembles rakes through her body and I don’t care. I reach over for the light. I need to see her. I’m just in time to see her head fall to the side, her hair splayed over the pillow all around her. Her hands are still holding mine to her. I wish I could burn this image into my heart. I wish I could take this with me. “I’ve never,” I choke up and Mila must hear the emotion in my voice, because her eyes snap open. A faint blush creeps up her neck and colors her cheeks a perfect pink, God only knows what she’s thinking now. “I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful in my life,” I finish what I wanted to say before I got overwhelmed with the perfect moment.







Mila~ Planets collided. It was out of this world. Liam seriously just rocked my world. I don’t give him time to say something else. I reach up and pull him back down on top of me. This is the special I’ve always wanted. I can hear every beat of my heartbeat, I’m that nervous. I don’t want to mess this up. I’m conscious of everything about this moment, the way his body is pressing into mine in all the right places. The carnal growls he makes when I touch him unravels me. I breathe his warm breath in, and it fills my lungs. I want to breathe him forever. This kiss is tentative, as if he knows what I’m asking of him. I pull back and look into his eyes. His entire body is held taut like he’s unsure of my next move. Careful not to shatter the moment we’ve woven between us, I reach down between us and start to tug his jeans down. I want them gone. He gets the message and helps me remove them along with his boxers. I try to keep the look of shock from my face when I see him naked. He takes a foil packet from his wallet before crawling back to me. “Kiss me, Mila,” he growls. I laugh and feel the nervous bees in my stomach lessen when his hungry mouth presses firmly against mine. His tongue glides between my lips and I get lost in Liam. I want this moment to last forever. Pulse racing, I slide my hands down his back, tracing his spine until I reach his lower back, where I let my hands linger. He presses his body harder into mine, his chest against my breasts, his hips hard on mine, and I feel him hard and ready between my legs. My abdomen clenches and it feels as if my whole body is reaching out to his. “Damn,” he groans. Perfect. I trail tiny kisses along his jaw when I hear the rip of foil. I can’t think of anything but

Liam in this moment. My mouth still pressed into his jaw, I feel him put the condom on. I know that I’m taking a huge risk, putting all I’ve worked so hard for on the line, but I can’t give this moment back. Am I being selfish? Yes. I want this so much. Just this one moment with Liam. I want something that will be just mine. It’s something the cult will never be able to take from me. The little good I am belongs to Liam, and I want him to have it. I feel him position himself, and I bring my mouth to his. I wrap my arms tightly around him. “You’re the one, Mila, always have been,” he whispers, as he starts to slowly push inside of me. I kiss him harder, expecting pain. Harper told me it would be painful. I’ve heard horror stories from the other women I grew up with, but as Liam slowly fills me all I feel is a slight discomfort. When he pulls out, I sigh with relief and practically melt against him. The whisper slips out, “I love you.” I bite my tongue the second I’ve said it. I didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want him to know I feel that way about him. It’s too soon. It’s filled with promises I can’t give him. Liam slips his arms under me, crushing my body to his. “I always knew we were meant to be,” he says, and then he rolls his hips into me, making those tiny firecrackers explode everywhere inside of me. My mouth drops open. I can’t even get a sound out as Liam shows me a whole new level of ecstasy. He’s ruining me. I’ll never be the same again. A quickening feeling builds in my abdomen, and I dig my fingers into his lower back, trying to keep him there. A low moan escapes my throat and I throw my head back, pushing my body into his, trying to get closer still, as he rocks into me. He slips his hand to my butt and keeps me locked to him. I didn’t even notice I was moving, but his hand holding me down is what I need, because I feel him right where I need him as he thrusts in harder. Tingles start in my toes, and my body turns to liquid ecstasy as I clench and contract with one wave of pure deliciousness after the other. I can’t moan. I can’t breathe until the last ripple ebbs away, and I feel Liam shudder as he’s overcome with pleasure above me. His eyes are burning like twin coals, alive with passion. He’s so beautiful that it makes my insides quiver. Tears well up in the back of my throat because this moment is so perfect that I don’t want to give it

up. I want to be selfish and just stay here with him. I reach up and trace my fingers down the side of his face. He places a chaste kiss on my lips. “Be right back.” I miss his warmth the second he pulls away from me. He gets out of bed and then his eyes sweep over me one more time. “You’re the best kind of sin, Mila. I’ve never worshipped anything until you.” His words slam hard into me, only serving as a reminder to where I’m from. In an instant, all the happy feelings are gone, and the unforgiving panic flares up again. While he runs to the bathroom, I grab my shorts and search for his baseball shirt I was wearing earlier. I have to let him go. I can’t let this thing between us go any further.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep him forever. I live in a world where I’m forced to live in fear. I knew I could only have Liam for one night. If the order ever finds me, God only knows what will happen. And there’s Claire – I have to focus on Claire. I can’t have this life that’s just within my reach. I need to start planning a way to save Claire. I owe my sister a chance of being free of the cult. Liam is going to be somebody great. Liam will continue to rock people’s worlds, just not mine. I can’t be selfish and hold him back. My life can’t affect Liam’s future. I need to cut this short before it grows into something more. “Mila?” I clear my throat, but it’s useless. I never could cry for myself but things are about to change. I feel the prick of tears, and a burning sensation pushes up my throat. I have to do this for Liam. He deserves the perfect girl, a perfect future. He doesn’t need my shit. I can feel my heart cracking - a physical pain. It’s alive and consuming, and it makes me feel light headed. It leaves my chest feeling knotted. It’s getting hard to breathe past the shattered pieces of my heart. I have to do this. I can do this. I’m strong enough to do this for him. C’mon Mila, be strong for Liam. Give him this. You can’t let that cult into his life. Just the thought of them near Liam makes my insides shrivel. I blink and the first tear escapes down my cheek. I take a step back as he starts toward me. I turn my back to him and I force the words out that will be a killing blow to the young love between us – it never stood a chance. “You win.” I try hard to stop the tears. They contradict everything I’m going to say. “Now you can tell all the guys I’m easy. I said yes. You win the bet. You got to fuck Mila for four hundred bucks.” “What the hell, Mila,” Liam snaps, but at least he’s stopped walking towards me. I can feel him

tensing behind me. He’s being blindsided but it’s the best thing to do. The quicker I stop this, the better for him. Ouch, this hurts more than I thought it would. It feels like I’m ripping my own heart from my chest. I clench a bunch of material in my fist, right over the spot where the heartache is the worst. I suck in a breath and tell myself to be brave for Liam. When I feel a sob building, I hold my breath, but it doesn’t help and I quickly walk closer to the window. I can’t stand to know that I’ll be hurting him. “Please just go,” I beg, and then I understand what Harper meant when she said she couldn’t stop crying. The tears start to fall and I can’t stop them. “Mila,” Liam says my name with an urgency as I start to climb through the window. “Let’s talk about this!” I don’t answer him. I just begin walking. Once I’m a good distance away from my window I let the cries tear through me. I know he won’t understand, but how do I tell him that I’m from a cult? He won’t understand. He’ll judge me just like they did. “Mila, would you stop walking away from me so we can talk?” I swing back to him and anger of how unfair life is explodes in me. Anger makes you brave. Anger gives you strength when you have nothing else left in you to fight with. “I escaped from a cult, Liam.” The words burn over my lips. I never thought the day would come that I’d have to admit that out loud to someone. I watch as shock registers on his face until he looks like a beaten down boy and not the man who loved me just a few seconds ago. I knew he would judge me but seeing it on his face is a death blow to my heart. I had hope. I realize this as anger shadows Liam’s face. I had hope that he would be different. I had hope that Liam would love me for just being me and not judge me for my past. I had hope, and I was wrong. He’s just like every other person – quick to judge, quick to condemn – he’s just another man. “I was fourteen when I got out. Cathy was a journalist and she snuck me off the compound grounds.” I don’t know why I’m even telling him this. It’s like watching the nails slam into the coffin where our love now lies dead. His jaw tightens and I watch as his shock transforms into anger. “But you got out? You’re not a cult member anymore?” he grinds the words out as if they’re burning his tongue. “I was born into one. I escaped when I was fourteen, but they can find me any day,” I say almost

breathlessly. It’s hard admitting your fears to someone else. “How can you be sure? You just said you escaped six years ago. Maybe they’ve forgotten about you.” Hope mixes with the anger on his face and it makes my gut tighten with apprehension. “That might be true. They might’ve given up on finding me, but I’m not done with them, Liam.” “What?” Again, shock flashes over his face. “I have to go back,” I whisper, already knowing that he won’t understand. He places his hands on his legs and bends over as if someone just punched him in the gut. I watch as he sucks in harsh breaths, and then he screams. My eyes widen and I feel a flicker of fear mingle with all the heartache as he starts to stalk right at me. “A fucking cult!” he spits the words out again as he gets closer. “You’re going to go back to the very place you ran from? Why would you do something so fucking stupid?” I don’t recognize the man in front of me. I’ve never seen such anger before and it’s terrifying me. I take a step back, scared of this angry person he’s becoming right in front of my eyes. He’s just like all the rest – he’s just another man. My heart thumps painfully in my chest. My mouth dries out to the point where my tongue feels thick and foreign. “I can’t explain it now. I just need to go back and take care of something. I wish I could tell you more, but I can’t, Liam. I’m sorry.” “Fuck you,” he spits out and the two words are soaked in venom. “You’re all the fucking same. Why do you have to be so fucking destructive?” He steps right up to me and then bites out, “Why. Do. You. Have. To. Kill. Everything. That. Is. Beautiful?” “I … I … Liam?” It hurts so much more than I ever thought it would. The pain and sorrow is becoming too much – it’s overwhelming me. But … this was what I wanted. He’ll be safe. He has to hate me so I can keep him safe. “News flash, Mila,” he whispers and his voice is drowning in pain and rage. “I had a little sister. She’s dead because of people like you - a fucking cult. You just managed to kill the last bit of faith I had in humanity. You proved to me that if there is something good in this world, you’ll fucking find it, and you’ll kill it.” I cover my mouth as a sob escapes my tight throat. Every word that comes from him cuts through me. Every word knocks me back a step until it feels like I’ve lost the person I fought so hard to become. I’m nothing but Mila the sinner. He has managed to break me down, making me feel like I’m nothing again. I don’t think, I just run. I run as fast as I can. I run from Liam and all the beauty and love he’s ripped from me, and with each step, I cry harder.

I run into the darkness I’m afraid of, rather than stay with the man I thought I could love … I thought I could trust. This is my fault. This is what I wanted. It’s for the best. If the cult comes for me at least Liam will be safe. And even if they don’t come for me, I have to think of Claire. Liam hates me and it’s for the best.

When a car pulls up next to me, the last person I expect to see is Hailey. “Get in. You look like shit.” Although her words are biting, the split lip and fresh blood on her shirt makes her look just as vulnerable as I feel. I stare at her, not sure I should get in. “Oh, come on,” she says, looking really tired. “What are you gonna do? Walk all night?” “That’s the idea,” I whisper. “I’m too tired for this shit. Either you get in and I give you a ride, or you walk,” she says, slumping back in her chair. I might have trust issues but I’m more scared of the dark, than of Hailey. I get in because it’s better than wandering the streets in the middle of the night. “What are you doing out so late?” she asks, squinting at me through her good eye. The other is busy swelling up badly. “You need to get that looked at.” I point to her face. “What happened to you?” I ask, showing her that her questioning is as unwelcome as mine. “Fair enough. I’ll go first. My uncle and father slapped me around for not wanting to do a delivery for them.” My mouth drops open and my tears are forgotten. So the rumors are maybe true? “Don’t you dare sit there and judge me,” she grinds out. “I’m not. I’ll be the last person to judge you,” I say quickly. I just don’t understand why someone as beautiful and popular as Hailey would do such a thing. “What kind of delivery?” “Tell me why you were running and I’ll tell you mine,” she smirks. I look out the window instead of answering her. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone. Hailey drives around for a while and I’m so thankful when she doesn’t press me to talk. I watch the street lamps whoosh by us and then I glance at Hailey. I’m surprised to see her wiping tears from her cheeks. “I was running from Liam.”

Her eyebrow jumps at this little piece of info. “Why? Didn’t you wanna spread them?” “Why do you have to be so mean?” I snap at her. Her reckless words are like salt on my open wounds. She lets out a miserable sigh. “Survival of the fittest, Mila. So, why were you running?” “It’s better if I let him go. I’m no good for him.” She looks surprised, then sad. “You and me both, hon. My father makes me do things I don’t want to. I have dreams, you know? My mom was a music teacher. Why can’t I be like her?” She says it, just like that, like we’re old friends. In that instant Hailey changes in front of me, from bitch to kindred spirit. We are so much alike. “Hailey …” “Don’t, Mila …” “Wait,” I cut her off, before she can think I’m about to pity her. “Let me finish. This isn’t pity. I’m the last person that’ll pity you.” I grab hold of her arm and give it a little squeeze. “I know about being forced to do things you don’t want to. I know what it feels like to be suffocated and to feel like you’re a prisoner in your own life.” She nods and it feels so good to have someone understand what I’m feeling and not judging me. “You need to leave, Hailey.” I can help her. Excitement bubbles up in me and she sees what I’m thinking before I say it. “You want me to just leave? My father will kill me,” she says, and I hear the fear in her voice. It’s the same fear I live with every day. “What are you going to do? Let him keep using you? You’ll get hurt, maybe even end up dead.” “Easier said than done, Mila!” she screams at me. She pulls the car over to the side of the road and looks at me with the same hopeless eyes I’ve seen so many times look back at me from the mirror. “It is easy, Hailey. Just leave. We can go together. If you don’t’ want to run, you can move in with me. Cathy will help you. You’re a grown woman, Hailey. He can’t force you to stay with him.” I try to encourage her. “What do you know of leaving home?” she bites out. I do a double take. She’s not listening to a word I’m saying. “Hailey, I ran away from the only home I ever knew. I know what it feels like to take that leap into the unknown.” She shakes her head, looking guilty. “Sorry, Mila. Things are just so bad. I’m scared.” “Hey, it’s okay. I know about bad.” I reach for her hand again and squeeze it. “I know all about how screwed up life can be.” I give her hand another squeeze. “But, Hailey, you can leave yours. If I could, then you can, too. Come stay with me. Cathy won’t mind. It’ll be temporary, until we get jobs, then we can move.” “I’ll go home with you on one condition,” she says.

“Okay.” “Tell me why you ran from Liam.” “I told you I’m not good enough for him. It’s to keep him safe.” “I’m calling BS on that.” It’s my turn to sigh miserably. “He hates me. He blames me for something … his little sister dying? I’m not sure.” I hold Hailey’s hand tighter, feeling we have some sort of connection with my shitty past and her crappy life. “Besides, I can’t have Liam in my life right now. I have things I need to do.” “Rosie … I heard he had a little sister named Rosie. I think she committed suicide. Apparently, it totally fucked with Liam,” Hailey whispers. My mouth drops open and shock ripples over me in waves. No wonder Liam hates me so much. His sister died in a cult. I’m from a cult. He’s blaming me for wanting to go back. “We might not know each other all that well, but no one has ever stopped to give me the time of day. It’s one a.m. and you’re offering me a place to stay, and I’ve done nothing but be a bitch to you. Bitches stick together. Two walls are thicker than one.” She gives me half a smile and there’s a flicker of strength in her eyes. “I like that,” I whisper back, “bitches stick together.”



Liam~ I’m leaving. Every single thing has gone to shit. Mickey and Harper are tense with each other. Hunter is eyeing Harper, all of a sudden, and no matter how many times he denies that shit, I can see it a mile away, so Mickey’s got to see it too. Then there’s this thing with Mila. She fucking destroyed me. I didn’t see that coming. The one second she’s coming apart in my arms, telling me she loves me, and the next she’s losing her shit, telling me she’s from a cult. A fucking cult! I could handle that but the fact that she wants to go back – that just kills me. I never got over Rosie’s death. I never will. I can’t forgive Mila for wanting to go back to a cult – the very people who took Rosie from me. That was the first time I said her name out loud since she died. Rosie.

My baby sister. My angel. Tears overwhelm me again. Tears of a loss that will keep eating away at me until I die. Tears of guilt because I failed Rosie. Tears of anger because the one person I allowed into my heart turned out to be nothing more than a fraud. She fucking destroyed me. Why didn’t I see it coming? I’ll never trust a woman again. All they do is fucking hurt you – just like my mother. I waited for Mila to come back and she came back with none other than fucking Hailey Young. They’re right – shit attracts shit. Harper says Hailey even lives there now. I was so wrong about Mila. Fuck was I wrong. How could I be so blind? I’m leaving. I can’t start classes like this. I’ll fail and I can’t let Uncle Julian down. I can’t be around Mila for the rest of the summer, either. I might end up doing something that I’ll regret. I’m leaving with Blake for a few weeks. I need to clear my head. I don’t know why I’m fucking torturing myself like this, but I need to see Mila one last time. I need closure. Pulling up to her house, my heart is beating a mile a minute. I skip the front door and head straight for her window. I can hear them inside and it only makes my heart threaten to rip right through my chest. “You should go tonight,” Harper says. “Everyone is going.” They must be talking about the party Hunter is throwing. “It’ll be weird. He won’t want me there,” Mila whispers. She sounds heartbroken but I can’t focus on that. I need to get my closure. “Just because things are over between the two of you doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with Mickey and Hunter. Don’t isolate yourself from the world because of one man. You taught me that,” Hailey says, and I’m a little shocked to hear that Mila told her about us. I step forward, my clothes feeling stiff against my skin. I hesitate for a second but my anger gets me through and I sweep the curtains away. The girls jump when they see me. “Mila, can I have a second?” I snap. Shit, I didn’t mean to snap. I just want to leave things civilized. I need a clear conscience. She nods, all wide-eyed. She scrambles off the bed and looks to the other girls with a pleading look in her eyes. I hold the curtains back for her and try as I might, I can’t help but take a deep breath of her scent as she passes by me. I have things to get off my chest before I go, and that’s all that matters. “I just wanted to say something before I leave.” Her eyes are swimming with tears and it makes them look breathlessly beautiful. My heart clenches, and for a moment I feel regret. I reach in and hug her

to me with one arm and that’s a mistake, because now I can’t let her go. Fuck … this hurts. I shouldn’t have come. There will never be closure between us. She ruined me. I bring my other arm around her as well and tighten my hold on her. I want to cry. I hate what she’s done to us. “Tell me, why.” I want the truth. I want to know how she can belong to a cult, how she can choose them over me. “It’s me not you,” she says, and this time the words pisses me off. I see fucking red but I still can’t get my arms to let her go. My heart is shattering into a million pieces, my body is aching for her and I want to hate her so badly. If I hate her, I’ll survive. “It’s you,” I repeat, like the dumbass I am. “It’s not me. That’s the best you can do? We meant so little to you that you’re throwing it away for a cult? Why? What makes a cult so fucking special that you’re willing to kill what we could have had?” She tries to yank back. “No, Liam! That’s not it. You’re everything and so much more.” I tighten my hold on her so she can’t move. Hurt bubbles up inside me, making it hard to breathe. “I’m just not worth it, right? You’d rather be part of a fucked up cult than be with me?” I state, fully pissed off now. “What is it with you women? Why do you want to belong to a man that has a dozen wives? You’re just like my mother. You’re weak,” I hiss the words out, but they taste bitter. There’s nothing satisfying about this moment. Now I know how Dad felt when Mom left him. “Nooo,” she starts to cry. She buries her face in her hands, still refusing to hold me. She won’t give me anything. Mila’s giving me nothing but fucking tears and pathetic excuses. “You’re so stubborn,” she suddenly screams. “I’m trying to protect you! Get on your fucking plane and leave. Go!” “Protect me from what?” “My life. I can’t let it taint you.” She places her hand on my chest, then brushes over my shirt, touching the buttons lightly. A look of pride settles on her face. “You’re going to do great, Liam. I’ll pray for you every day. Come home safely, please.” “This isn’t over. We are not done with this conversation, Mila. You can’t expect me to accept your half-assed excuses. We have to write, phone, email … anything. You owe me that. I need closure.” Panic fills my chest, thinking this is it. She’s going to let me walk away without giving me a solid reason why she’s choosing a cult over me. “I don’t have a phone or any of those things.” She bites the inside of her mouth and squints up at me. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. I just want to protect you, Liam. I need time. If you could just give me time.” Her eyes are two pools of sorrow and it makes me feel torn in two. I want to love her so badly but

she’ll take me under. She’s a force of destruction. She’s a ball of raging fire and she’ll burn us all to the ground. “You keep saying that. Protect me from what?” “The cult. I have to go back and I can’t tell you why. Don’t ask me why. Please, it’s the one thing I can’t tell you.” I frown as she says it. It’s always the fucking cult! “Don’t look at me like that, Liam. Please don’t! I understand that you’re hurting, but they’re still a part of my life.” She tells me this now – after I give her a piece of me. Un-fucking-believable. “Why? Why are you letting them into your life?” She shakes her head and her bottom lip starts to tremble. She’s still the most beautiful woman in the world. “I can’t tell you,” she whispers, and it makes frustration explode in me. “For how long will you let them brainwash you?” I ask. I wish I could shake some sense into her. She yanks her hand from mine, her eyes going wide with horror. “Let it go! I can’t tell you why I have to go back. Go, Liam. I don’t want you. I lied. I don’t love you. I’m weak … just like you said. Go … just go!” I drop my eyes to the grass and swallow back the anger that’s threatening to tear me apart. There’s a small grey feather lying to the left of us. I bend down and pick it up and then hold it out to her. “I now understand why you love feathers,” I whisper heartbrokenly. She takes it from me with trembling fingers, her eyes welling with tears. “Why?” “You only keep the people in your life that will help you fly. Once a person is of no use to you – you just drop them. You’re that fucking bird that will sit and yank all your feathers out until you’re naked and alone.” Her breaths rush so fast that for a second I think she might hyperventilate. I have to walk away. I can’t allow myself to feel anything for this woman. Before I leave, I whisper, “I could’ve been your wings, Mila. I’d never pluck you out of my life the way you did to me. I would’ve kept you from falling.” “You’re wrong, Liam,” she says hoarsely. “You did let me fall when I needed someone the most. We’re just not good for each other. Forget me like I’ll forget you.” Those are the words Mila leaves me with. Lies. She’s going to keep fighting me because she’s scared shitless of a fucking cult. I know she loves me. I felt it. God help me, it hurts to walk away from her.



Liam~ Two months turned into three fucking years. The thought echoes painfully through me. I wanted to get away from Mila, and I did. Those goddamned last words she said are ingrained in my bones. It’s me not you. They pulse through my body with every beat of my heart. Why? Why did I have to love the one girl that didn’t love me back? I still don’t understand why she chose the cult over me, or over this life, for that matter. She opened all the old wounds and memories I tried so hard to bury after losing Rosie. She’s eating at my gut and nothing I do can get her out. She’s like a cancer. It’s not love, it can’t be. I need to hate her. I need to hurt her the way she hurt me. I just need to fuck Mila Jameson once more. Fuck her out of my system. Revenge fuck the bitch for what she did to us, to what we could’ve been. Once I’ve had her one last time, I won’t want her anymore. She’ll be just like all the others. “You look like shit,” Mickey mutters. He knocks my feet off the table. “Wanna play some pool?” “Sure.” I take a sip of my beer. “Where’s Hunter?” “Taking a piss,” Mickey says as he starts to deal. We graduated a week ago and start working with Uncle Julian in three weeks. You’d think that would be enough to satisfy me. I’ve achieved what I’ve always wanted. I feel fucking empty. Being in the city made it a bit easier to pretend that a bitch like Mila wasn’t out there. It made it easy to pretend that she never fucking ripped my heart out. Now that I’m back home, I can’t pretend. The pain is real. The anger I feel for her is as alive and raging inside me as it was three years ago.

I need to make her feel the pain she’s forced me to live with.

Mila~ “Hailey, we have to move. I was thinking to another country,” I say as I start the water for some much needed coffee. I’ve become addicted to the stuff. “You want to just grab Claire and make a run for it? I don’t think it will work,” she argues. We’ve had this talk so many times. All I can do is roll my eyes. I just want to find Claire and make a run for it. She’s sixteen now, no longer a kid. I might not have the perfect job but I make enough to support our basic needs. “Besides, everything’s in my name. The rent, the phone, like, everything. They won’t know where to find you if they even bother to go after you and Claire,” Hailey says, but I can hear the doubt in her voice. “I say we go in, drag her ass out and come home. Chill, it will all work out.” She looks up at me and then smiles. Even her smile is telling me we don’t stand a chance. “Don’t worry, bitch. I got your back. Bitches stick together.” “You want some coffee?” Without waiting for her reply, I take down a cup for her. I opened up to Hailey just after we moved in together. I needed to share my fear with someone and Hailey was there. Shortly after graduating I got a waitressing job over at Joe’s Pancakes. I work as many shifts as I can. Hailey is a bartender at the Dark Room. I’m still trying to get my foot in the door to become a social worker but it’s not easy. I was hoping things would go according to plan, that I’d get the perfect job, save up money and then get to save Claire sooner. None of my plans worked out. Not one. It feels like I’m being knocked a hundred steps backward for every step I try to inch forward. Harper continued with her studies. Her dad made her go. He might not be around much but at least he’s looking out for her. She studied physiotherapy, said she wanted to help people in some way. I think she feels helpless with her sister having Down’s Syndrome and all. The shit with Hailey and me got to her as well. Even though she lives with us, she’s been withdrawing from us and doing her own thing. I’m not surprised. People never stick around. I know the day will come when Hailey will leave as well. It’s just the way things are. In a way, Liam was right people are like feathers. Some keep you flying for a short while before they leave, and then a new person takes their place.

We all share a two bedroom apartment. Because Harper and Hailey pay most of the rent, I let them have the bedrooms. We converted the one corner of the living room into a small space for a bedroom using room dividers. It looks pretty. I don’t need a lot of space so it works for me. It’s not like I date or anything, so I don’t bring anyone back to the apartment like Harper and Hailey sometimes do. We all share a bathroom, so things can get crazy in the mornings when Hailey and I have to get ready for work. Harper work by appointment only. She’s lucky that way. I wish I could’ve studied further. I wish for a lot of things - and at the top of my list is that Liam stays safe wherever he is. I grip the counter tightly as the thought of him out there doing God only knows what runs through my mind. “Please, keep him safe,” I breathe the words for the zillionth time. “Let him find happiness.” Harper slams the apartment door open, almost giving me a heart attack. There’s a hole in the wall from the few dozen times she’s banged the door into the wall already. “I’ve got some news!” she sings. “The door, Harper,” I say for the hundredth time. “You want old Jefferson to have a fit again? He’s going to make us pay for the plaster and paint to cover the crater you’re banging into the wall.” “Did you miss the part where I said I have news?” Harper snaps, throwing her bag on the counter. “Harper! That thing is filthy, not on the counter. We prepare food on it,” Hailey complains. She’s lying upside down on the couch, flipping through the channels. “Fuck, the two of you are seriously working on my nerves. I’ll put my fucking bag where I want to and slam the door right through the wall! The guys are back. Apparently they’ve been back for a week already. Not that you want to know,” Harper sneers. I freeze and Hailey drops from the couch with a dull thud. “Yeah, I thought that would get your attention. I’m gonna go shower. I’m seeing Hunter later.” And then she leaves us, just like that. “Wait! Harper, what do mean the guys are back?” I run after her. She can’t just say that and nothing else. “Back, as in back in town. They’ve graduated and from what I hear, they’re taking over Old Man Julian’s firm. I told him to come over at five,” she says it with no emotion at all, as if she’s talking about the weather. My heart aches thinking that they are back and I didn’t even know. “Liam. What about Liam?” I whisper, finally giving in to my curiosity. “Don’t know,” she says, then Harper gives me a cocky smile, “and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. You’re over him, right?” She closes her bedroom door on me. I turn to Hailey, needing some kind of comfort.

“Come here, bitch.” She opens her arms wide for me and I let my body slump against hers. I don’t blame Harper for being nasty. She never fully forgave me for turning to Hailey instead of her after things went sour between Liam and me. But she won’t understand. Hailey and I … we’re the same. We share the same shit. I love them both, but I can only talk to Hailey about my past because Hailey doesn’t pity me. It’s like we were cut from the same cloth. “He’s never going to forgive me. He hates me. What if I see him on the street and he ignores me?” I choke out. I haven’t spoken or heard from Liam since the day he left. Whenever I ask Mickey anything, he just says Liam’s fine. Mickey has sort of made our place his home away from home. It’s only because he’s still hung up on Harper. The poor guy. I wish she would stop playing hard to get and give him a chance. “I’m sure that won’t happen,” she coos, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Twenty minutes later, three cups of coffee, and Harper finally comes out of her room. I give her a cup of coffee, hoping to ease the tension between us. “You girls better change into something else. The guys will be here any minute.” I spray the sip of coffee I just took all over the counter. Actually, I spray it pretty much over half our kitchen. Yeah, our kitchen is that small, more like a shoe box. Hailey tried to pretty it up with some towels and a plant that died a while back. “You didn’t say they were coming here!” Hailey squeals. “You’re being a real whore, Harper. What the hell’s gotten into you? You’re into fucking your friends over now?” Harper gives Hailey a frosty look. “I still think she was wrong to let him go. Liam was supersweet to her. You two have been best of friends ever since. Fuck only knows why. No one will tell me why she broke it off with him. Do you know what it feels like to stand on the outside of this friendship, waiting for either one of you to open up to me? It feels like I’m begging for shitty crumbs. I’m sick of it! I’ve been trying hard to be a part of this little,” she makes air quotes and hisses, “friendship. But no more. I’m fucking done with you two. I’m looking for another place to stay. You girls wanna be thick as thieves, have a ball. I’m done kissing your asses.” Harper stalks by me and pours the rest of her coffee out into the basin. “Shit, we need to change. Move your ass,” Hailey hisses, clearly not concerned with Harper’s outburst. But I am. I didn’t know it bothered her that much. “Harper,” I start, but she stops me by giving me the hand. Always the fucking hand! And she wonders why I can’t talk to her. “Okay, but we’ll talk later. We’re not done here. You should’ve said something sooner.” I rush over to my corner and strip out of the ratty slacks and Liam’s old baseball shirt I always lounge around in. I never gave it back to him. I throw it on my bed and grab a clean pair of jeans and a

gray shirt. Unbuttoning the top three buttons, I show a little cleavage. Showing some of the girls can’t do any harm at this point in the game. I touch up my mascara and lip gloss, and I’m just finished pulling a brush through my hair when there’s a knock at the door. My stomach free-falls all the way to my toes. “Harper, Hailey! Anyone, get the freakin’ door!” I yell, standing frozen behind the dividers, too scared to move. “I’ll get it,” Hailey calls out. I hear the door’s hinges creak. “Fuck me! You sons of a bitches look better than I expected. Come on in. Tonight’s just gonna be fan-fucking-tastic. Girls, the guys are here,” Hailey calls out, all melodramatic. I drop my face into my hands. Trust Hailey to start it off with a bang. “See you’re still around.” Liam! Even though his voice is deeper, I’d recognize it anywhere. My heart stutters with longing. “Yeah, you know, never say die. Sticking to Mila like a piece of shit to a wool blanket. Speaking of her,” I hear her boots on our old wooden floor, heading my way. “Hey, bitch, what’s taking so long? Get your sexy ass out here. I’m a buzz-kill. I need back-up.” I shake my head. I love her, but sometimes, I think she’s like this on purpose. She loves pissing people off. She’s really one of a kind. As soon as she peeks around the divider I start backtracking. I mouth the words ‘I can’t’ to her. “Screw this. That’s why I’m the best friend and Harper is the one throwing you to the sharks,” she mutters. She grabs hold of my hand and drags me out. Yeah, she fucking drags me out. I force a smile around my stiff lips as we head around the dividers. The first person I see is Blake, or the man who used to be Blake. Damn, he’s grown so much in three years. The last time I saw him, his brown hair was all shaggy. Now, it’s shaven neatly. He’s taller and much broader than I remember. There’s no sign of the boy I knew. Hunter draws my attention when he walks toward the nearest coach. There’s a limp every time he uses his left leg. “I can’t wait for an invitation. My leg’s hurting. Hey girls, how’re things?” “What happened to your leg?” I ask. “Just pulled a muscle, nothing serious,” he says while straightening his leg out on our coffee table. “Are we going out or can we order some pizza? I’m starving.” My eyes jump back to Blake, and that’s when I see him – Liam. My legs turn to nothing. Oh wow. He’s gone all Hulk on me. His muscles have doubled in size. His hair is shaven, just like Hunter’s.

There’s no sign of Liam the boy. He’s all chiseled and hard core. There’s a mean look in his eyes and it’s because of that look that I’m the first to look away. “I’m glad you’re all back safely,” I murmur, but like my traitorous heart, my eyes find their way back to Liam’s. He’s still staring at me with the same mean look in his dark chocolate eyes. The warm intensity he used to have for me is gone. My Liam is gone. “Let’s order in, then,” Hailey breaks the uncomfortable silence that’s starting to hang heavy in the small space. “Help me get the beer, bitch?” “Yeah,” I whisper and follow her into the tiny space of our kitchen. Once we’re hidden behind the fridge, she hisses, “Get it together. I know it’s hard, but don’t show it. You’re stronger than this. Later, we’ll drown your sorrows in ice cream, but right now you’ve got to switch over into my uber-bitch mode.” She grabs hold of my shoulders and pushes them back, thrusting my boobs out. “You’re right.” I suck in a deep breath of air and lift my chin. “Uber-bitch mode. I can do this.” It’s just one night. I can pretend that I’m over him. I can pretend that I’m happy. I have to. I help Hailey open the beers and almost drop one as we walk back into the living room. Harper is on her knees in front of Hunter. He’s stripped out of his jeans and is sitting in front of her in his boxers. I realize that she’s looking at his leg and hope he didn’t hurt it too badly. “Mila,” Liam’s voice snaps me out of my daze. My eyes dart to him and I can’t help letting them do a lazy sweep over his body. No one has ever looked that good in a pair of jeans and a gun-metal gray shirt. Still sexy as sin. He starts in my direction and with the first huge step he takes, my lungs go into shut-down mode. “Not little Mila anymore,” he says when he stops in front of me. For a moment I’m confused. I frown and look down at myself, looking for signs of rolls of fat. Damn, I didn’t pick up that much weight, did I? “When did you have the growing spurt?” he asks. Oh, that! “Ah, just after you left. I guess my legs decided to reach for the stars.” Yeah, I finally caught up with everyone. I’m no longer a short shit. My ability to breathe normal goes out the window when Liam takes another step closer to me. I hardly reach his shoulder, -so much for standing tall when you’re facing Goliath. “I see you did some hulking as well,” I try to sound casual. Liam tilts his head. “Hulking?” “You … uhm, you went all … man?” Really, that’s all I can say? Man? Oh, c’mon! For fuck’s sakes. He chuckles, a deep throaty sound that streaks straight to my g-spot.

“Let me take those.” When he takes two of the beers from me, our fingers brush. The same electric vibe that’s always been there between us messes with every nerve in my body. I won’t be able to function now, even if my very life depends on it. Our apartment door swings open and Mickey comes bursting in. My whole body relaxes at the sight of him. Mickey will know what to do, he always does. After the guys left, Mickey took it upon himself to start checking in on us. It became a weekend thing. We never stopped him. Having his fun ass around was well … fun. I see how he hovers around Harper, but she’s still playing hard to get. I told him to be patient. Good things come to those who wait, that kind of shit. “How are my girls?” Mickey heads straight for Harper, plants a lingering kiss on her forehead and then moves on to Hailey. He dips her, pretending to smooch the crap out her. Giggles erupt between the two of them and I don’t miss the dark glare Harper shoots their way. I’m smiling like a dork when he lets her go, turning to me. He always makes me smile. “Hey sexy,” I say in my best husky voice. It’s routine already. We act this out every Saturday in the hopes of getting Harper to see Mickey differently. It’s also the closest I get to any kind of action. Not that there will ever be something between Mickey and me. Oh hell no. We’re just very good friends. Like Hailey says, he’s our brother from another mother. We know Harper likes Mickey, but she keeps going on about Hunter. Hunter this, Hunter that. But if Mickey takes a girl home, she’s jealous as shit. It’s only a matter of time before she’ll give up on the act that she’s got the hots for Hunter and grab Mickey instead. Jealousy is a bitch that works in her own way. “Baby, get your sexy ass in my arms,” Mickey says. I don’t hesitate. I run and jump a few feet before I reach him. Just like all the times before, he catches me. With his hands on my hips, he hugs me tightly. “Fuck, I missed you girls this week. Fending off all those hot bodies is tiring as hell.” “Yeah, yeah, in your wildest dreams,” I hush him. “You want some coffee or a beer?” He cups both my cheeks and then squeezes them together until my lips are pouting. “You’re addicted to that shit,” he laughs. He gives me another quick hug. “I’ll have a beer, thanks.” Mickey’s the only guy I feel comfortable with. He’s been a steady rock the past three years. “Did we miss something?” Blake interrupts. “Since when are you two together?” I shove the beer into Mickey’s hand and give him a pleading look I hope he’ll take for, ‘your best friend is back and he’s ripping my heart to shreds with his hotness alone. Please save me.’ Mickey shakes his head. No go. He’s not going to lie to Liam. Damn. It was worth a try. “We’re not,” Mickey’s eyes hold mine, signaling how sorry he is for not going along with what I’m asking, “but she’s my baby girl and she’s off limits to you dickheads.” He gives me a loving smile, sliding his hand into my hair before he pulls me back into his comforting chest. “So no dicking around

with any of my girls.” Hailey comes to worm her way into our hug. “I need some loving too,” she mumbles. Mickey chuckles and wraps his other arm around her. “Anytime, babe. You know I love threesomes.” “Such a turn-on,” she coos in a throaty voice. Liam clears his throat from across the room. “Love to stay and catch up but I’ve got things to do. You almost done there, Hunter?” He sounds pissed with a capital P. “The session takes an hour. You’re welcome to leave. I’ll drop Hunter off when we’re finished,” Harper answers for him. Thankfully, Hailey’s phone starts blasting Katy Perry’s Roar . While she goes to my ‘room’ for some privacy, I walk over to our poor excuse for a sound system to select a CD. Liam and Mickey take a seat on one of the couches. That must mean they’re staying. So much for having things to do. I’ve just decided on a CD and am about to put it in when I hear Hailey literally squeak, “Mila.” Two things are wrong with this picture. Hailey always calls me bitch, it’s our thing. Hailey never sounds like she swallowed a bug. I spin around and all she has to say to have me drop the CD is, “Scum Two.” My body goes cold knowing it’s her dad that just phoned her. She labeled the men in her life. Her uncle is Scum One, and her dad is Scum Two. She’s never told me their names. I think it’s because she wants to keep me safe. I run to her, not thinking what it must look like to the others. The only thought in my mind is that Hailey needs me right now. “What does he want? How did he get your number?” I told her no phones, but she wouldn’t listen. Shit! “He has ways of getting what he wants,” her voice hitches, and I watch my strong friend try her best to keep it together. “It’s bad, Mila.” “I know,” I shriek. I take a deep breath and then whisper, “We can’t let him get to you. Go pack. We’re moving. Road trip. Right now!” Hailey shakes her head. Her bottom lip starts to tremble. “We can’t.” She rushes forward and takes a strong hold of my hand, her tawny eyes swimming with unshed tears “There’s something I have to tell you, Mila. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please remember that.” “What do you mean?” I’m not following. “I never told you about my dad and uncle so I could protect you. I tried so hard to do just that, but they were always one step behind me. I tried, Mila. I really tried. You have to believe me.”

“Hailey, you’re not making any sense.” Worry for her makes my stomach pull into a hard knot. I haven’t had a panic attack in such a long time. I’ve been doing so good. Since that day I spent with Liam, things have gotten easier for me. Whenever shit happens, I picture Liam, or I used to. It’s hard to picture him now, since my Liam doesn’t exist anymore. All I see now is that mean look in his eyes. For the first time in three years, I can’t call up those warm eyes, and instead panic swirls in my chest. “What’s going on?” I squeeze the words out. I have to fight the panic for Hailey. I have to be strong for her. “I’m so sorry,” Hailey starts to cry. I give her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “Hailey, it’s okay.” “No, it’s not! My uncle is Prophet David. My dad is his brother. We’re cousins, Mila. I was sent to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don’t talk until they decided what to do with you.” Shock numbs all of me. I take a step away from her as the numbness continues to spread throughout my entire body. I open my mouth, but no words come out. Betrayal and disappointment carves a gaping crack right through my heart. I trusted Hailey. I actually trusted her. She was more than just a best friend – she was like a sister to me. Anguish makes my chest ache. I can’t believe she betrayed me. “You’re with the order?” I don’t know where the strength comes from to ask any questions. Quickly, Hailey shakes her head. “No, no I’m not! My dad works on the outside for the order. He … he takes girls off the streets and promises them a place to stay. That’s how new girls come to the order. There’s so much about the order that you don’t know about. I wanted to save you the heartache. I promise you, Mila, I never listened to them. Once I got to know you, I wanted to be your friend. I wanted us to just be cousins. But … they just won’t let us be! I’ve tried so hard to fight this on my own, but I can’t do it alone anymore … not after the threat.” I’m so angry at Hailey but I have to stay calm so I can think my way out of this. Just the thought that the cult has been watching my every step is enough to make me go insane from the fear alone – but I can’t let that happen. I have to be stronger than ever. Right now I have to be brave. “What threat?” I grind out the words. “They are threatening to punish Claire for your sins. You have to go back or they will hurt her.” “I have to go back?” I whisper, horrified. It was always the plan to go back … but I would sneak in and out. It would be on my term – not theirs. Hailey starts to shake her head and I have to hand it to her - she looks devastated. I trusted her and

she’s been one of them all along. She actually looks sorry. What a fucking fool I’ve been all this time. I almost gave up my friendship with Harper for Hailey. Shit, she dug herself so deep into my life that it’s going to leave gaping holes when I yank her out. I can’t even deal with the pain of her betrayal right now. Everything is happening all at once. It’s too much. It feels like I’m being beaten down and I don’t know if I have the strength to get back up. I’ve told her about my past, about how the so called brothers would beat us, how they would lock us away when we had our periods because it was sinful. I told her how we got reminded daily that we were no good, that we were weak. She knows all about it. She knows and, still, she led them right to me. I grab hold of her shoulders and start to shake her hard. “How could you do this to me? I trusted you! I fucking trusted you and you’re throwing me to the wolves?” “What the fuck, Mila?” Liam says behind me. I don’t know how much he heard. My knees weaken so much I use Hailey to steady myself. “Liam,” his name is a hoarse whisper. I see confirmation in Hailey’s eyes. Dammit! He heard it all? Fuck, please no. “What’s going on?” His voice sends icy shivers racing down my spine. Hailey closes her eyes as if she can’t face the damage she’s done. I’ll deal with Liam later. Right now, I have to deal with Hailey. “You say you’re my family,” I whisper heartbrokenly. “Bitches stick together. I thought you meant it. I always thought love brought people together, but that’s not true. Love is never strong enough. It fades and then people are left with nothing, like Liam and me, like you and me.” I’m well aware of the fact that he’s listening to every word, but I’m beyond the point of caring. “But pain – fuck, pain can make you unbreakable. Pain is stronger than love because it runs so much deeper. It bleeds into your soul until there’s nothing left to fear.” I take a step forward and look her right in the eye. “I don’t fear you, Hailey. I don’t fear your cult. You tell them that. You tell them that I’m coming for my sister. I’m done hiding.” She crumbles to the floor as sobs make her body shudder. I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for her. She should’ve trusted me enough to come clean to me right in the beginning, but instead she chose to lie to me. Even if what she says is true, that she never meant to harm me, I’ll never be able to trust her again. I turn away from her and find Liam watching me with a what the fuck look on his face. “What are you still doing here?” I want to scream the words at him but all I manage is a broken whisper. “It’s not like you actually care. Go home, Liam. Right now, my shit bucket is overflowing. I’ll give you a call when you can come and add your share to it.” Hailey’s phone starts to echo Roar through the small space again. I hear her fumble for it behind me.

“Hello,” she croaks. She struggles back to her feet and goes to lean against the wall. She looks beaten down, just like that night when she found me next to the road. “She says no,” she whispers. She must be referring to me, not wanting to go along with their shit. I glance at Liam, not sure why he’s even still standing here. “He wants to talk to you,” Hailey whispers behind me. I hold my hand out for her phone. I faced them once I can do it again. I look down at the floor so I don’t have to make eye contact with any of the people standing around me. I swallow hard on the familiar twinge of panic. I can’t let them get to me. I’ve fought so hard to become this person I am today. I can’t let them win. I take the phone from Hailey and with a trembling hand I press it to my ear. I can only let out a breath. There are no words to make the horror of this moment any less. Loud laughter sounds over the phone, grating its way down my spine. “Mila … Mila … Mila. What are the chances of us meeting again? You think because you ran away, that we wouldn’t keep track of you? You think you’re safe? You’re only living that pathetic life because we’re allowing you to. You think Hailey’s your friend? Wrong again. She’s just there to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don’t talk. You thought you could run? The ends of the earth won’t be far enough for you, Daughter.” Prophet David. I never thought I’d hear his voice again. It’s not the same, but in a way it is. It still sounds manic but there’s a new level of darkness to it. This time, nothing keeps my legs from folding under me and I go down like a house of cards. “Mila!” Hailey grabs me, her arms folding around my chest in an attempt to comfort me, but I yank my body away from her. I don’t want her to touch me. I wish I could cry as her sobs fill the small space. “I’m so sorry,” Hailey whispers mournfully from behind me. A pair of legs comes into my line of sight and then he crouches down before me. Liam tilts his head slightly, and I see the questions and worry on his face. There’s no sign of the mean look he had earlier. Right now, I’m looking into the eyes I love and it gives me strength to just breathe. I can’t cry, not for the monster on the other side of the phone. The only thing he stirs inside of me is the kind of fear where you piss your pants, the kind where you can’t say a word – you can only whimper like a beaten down animal. I lied when I told Hailey I don’t fear the cult. I do – so fucking much. Prophet David’s laughter turns creepy. “I think it’s time you come home.” He takes a rasping breath, as if it will be his last any second. God, I hope so. “You were a settlement of debt, and it’s time Brother William gets his payment. The man isn’t getting any younger.” I can’t get anything out but a whimpering sound. None of this makes sense. Prophet David runs the cult. It sounds like he gives the women as

payment for his debt? I can’t wrap my mind around any of it. He sells us as brides to these old men? Then the light goes on. The cult is nothing more than a form of sex slavery and a cover for it. That’s where the money comes from. Fuck, that’s it! They covered it all so well. “Oh, I sure missed the sound of you whimpering. It’s music to my ears.” He chuckles and then says, “Nothing like a good beating to get you under control again. Brother William is going to get his payment in full.” “Fuck you!” I scream. I hold the phone in front of my mouth and scream hysterically. “I’ll kill you! I’ll fucking kill you before I let that sick man touch me!” The phone gets pried from my fingers before I can tell him how I’m going to peel his flesh from his bones. “Who are you talking to?” Liam asks. In a hate-filled daze I watch him press the phone to his ear. “No! No. No. No,” I start to chant, trying to wrench it back from him, but I’m too late. “What’s going on?” Blake asks, followed by Mickey and a limping Hunter. Harper follows behind the guys. Just great. Everyone is here to watch the shit hit the fan. My eyes jump back to Liam’s face when I hear him grind his teeth. He looks like a killing machine where he’s crouching in front of me. I watch the blood drain from his face, then he hisses, “We’re coming for you. You better sleep with one eye open, fucker.” With the simple warning he cuts the call to Prophet David. I start to shake my head as he drops the phone to the floor. My eyes follow his movements as he reaches for me. “Tell me everything,” he says in a low, aggressive tone. He takes hold of my shoulders and pulls me up until I’m standing on shaky legs. “No,” I whisper. I can’t have him looking at me any worse than he already does. I’ll deal with it on my own. “Mila, so help me God. You have someone say fucked up shit over the phone, and you’re still not going to tell me what’s really going on? It’s been three fucking years! Just tell me already.” “You don’t get to come back and demand shit, Liam.” I turn to Hailey and I have to use all my strength to not take a swing at her. “Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again.” I crouch down and yank my bag from under my bed. I have to get out of here. I can’t breathe with all these people standing around me. I yank open the dresser and start to shove clothes into the bag. “Mila!” Liam snaps. “Let us help you. You can’t just leave.” “What do you mean, she’s leaving?” Harper shrieks. “Mila! Calm down, let’s talk about this.” And then I hear Harper hiss, “You have five minutes to get your shit and to get out. I’ve let you fuck with

my friend for way too long. Get the fuck out of our home.” It hurts to hear her talk that way to Hailey. There’s still a part of me that loves Hailey, even after she stabbed me in the back. Love doesn’t just up and vanish when someone betrays you. That’s what makes betrayal such a destructive emotion. It destroys the love you feel for that person – it taints every good memory you made together. “Baby girl,” Mickey comes to stand next to me. “Hey now, talk to us.” He tries to block my way but I just dart around him. “Nothing to say,” I hiss as I continue to shove as much clothes as I can into the small bag. Hailey still hasn’t moved from where she’s standing to the side, crying over the mess she’s created. “Hailey, get out of my fucking sight!” I scream at the top of my lungs. My breaths are coming way too fast. My heart is pounding painfully in my chest. My mind is a mess. It feels like I’m caught in a storm and it’s tearing me to shreds. I drop some of the clothes and when I kneel down to gather them, a pair of hands grab hold of my waist. I’m yanked into the air, then tossed onto the bed. Within another second I’m pinned down. My chest is heaving something fierce. Panic has long been replaced with cold terror, but all I can think about right this second is Liam’s face mere inches from mine, and it looks like he’s about to kill someone.



Liam~ Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best move I’ve ever made in my life. Hauling Mila’s ass off the floor and throwing her on the bed? What the fuck am I doing? I just want to stop her from leaving. I just want to calm her ass down and find out what the fuck is going on. Walking into this shithole she calls home and seeing her wrap herself all over Mickey? That shit’s just not on. I’ve been home for a week, and Mickey said nothing about her, about them being best-fuckingfriends. Then this bomb with Hailey explodes? The weird as ass fucking phone calls? And no one will tell me shit. I drop my forehead to Mila’s shoulder, and as I take a deep breath of her, I try to calm the swirl of hostile emotions threatening to drag me under. I take in a lung full of her sweet flowery scent. Fuck, she still smells the same. She still feels the same. Three years have done nothing but shape her into a scorching hot woman. Her heaving breasts have filled out plenty, and I can feel her curves pressing into my body, soft and supple. Her hair’s longer and still the same color as burned honey. Those huge eyes - fuck me eyes – still has the power to make me hard in an instant. There’s no denying it. This woman still has me by the balls. After all is said and done, I still love her. And I hate her for it. But there’s no time to dwell on it now. I have to find out what the hell is going on. I push myself up and straddle her so she can’t move. “I have to go. Get off me!” she shrieks angrily. She tries to tilt her hips, but all she ends up doing is rubbing her pussy against my cock. She stills when she realizes what she’s done.

It takes a lot to keep the serious look on my face, but there’s nothing I can do about the hard-on. My body is addicted to hers. There’s nothing I can do about it. She caves first and turns her face away, looking at the fucking dividers she’s got up. Some excuse for a room. I lift myself and instead of us rubbing against each other, I hover over her. This is not a make out session. Sounding as pissed off as I feel I say, “You guys mind giving us some privacy?” They mumble in protest but they leave, and that’s all that matters. I wait for Hunter to clear a crying Hailey out of the room. The guys follow Harper, and then I finally have Mila to myself. I take hold of her chin and at the mere touch of her skin, my abs tightens. I turn her face to me and then grind the words out, “Tell me everything now.” She laughs bitterly. Not what I expected. “Why do you even care?” Anger creeps into her eyes. She yanks her face out of my hand and tries to level me with a glare. “Why won’t you let me help you?” I don’t get her. What happened to girls wanting guys to help them? “Because I don’t need you,” she shrieks. “Get off me. You’re heavy.” Slowly, I let my eyes take her in. Her fierce gaze doesn’t falter before mine. She swallows hard and lifts her chin. I bring my hand to her neck and let my fingers brush softly down the length of her silky skin. “Stop that!” She squirms under me and grabs hold of my hand. I smirk. She’s not as tough as she’d like me to believe. I capture both her hands with one of mine and pin them above her head. “Liam,” she hisses. “I don’t have time for this.” She tries to flip me off of her by twisting her body, but it really helps to be twice her size. She’s totally at my mercy and just the thought of her thrashing under me is a fucking turn-on. “Just tell me,” I say again. “There’s nothing to tell,” she says breathlessly. Her eyes widen as I lean in real closer. “You miss me, babe?” Cause I sure as fuck missed you. I stop an inch from her mouth. She doesn’t try to turn away from me. Our breaths mingle, hot and fast. She inches up, just barely, but not enough for us to touch. “You know what, Liam?” she whispers hoarsely. The sound of her seductive voice is like a lightning bolt through my body and I tense above her. I’ve never wanted her more than I want her in this moment. She tilts her head slightly, letting her breath fan across my jaw. I swear I hear her moan softly or it

could just be my imagination wanting to hear it so badly. “I did miss you,” she admits. “I missed you so damn much it ached all over.” Her words soak into me. It’s as if I’ve been stuck in a desert the past three years and I’ve finally found my oasis. I close the distance between us, brushing my lips along her jaw, tasting sweet skin. It’s everything I remember and so much more. She arches into me, moaning. I let go of her hands and she brings hers to my shoulders. I let my hands slide down her sides. Digging under her, I grab hold of her ass. “Your shirt,” she breathes, starting to pull at my shirt. This was not what I had in mind but I’ve wanted this girl for so long. I move off of her and grab hold of my shirt. I don’t even see it coming. Mila shoves me back and makes a run for it. She darts out of the room and I hear a commotion in the living room before I realize what’s happening. She fucking played me. I growl and for the first time in my life, I think about letting her go, but then I look at the bed and I see my old baseball shirt. She’s kept it all this time. It’s all the encouragement I need to go after my girl.

Mila~ I shriek with panic as I run into the living room. I don’t even look at the others. I just sprint for the door. This is the first time I’m grateful that Hailey makes us keep our bags by the door. We got a coatrack shortly after we moved in just so we could hang our bags somewhere. I grab my bag and dart out the door. I race towards the stairs while digging in the bag for my keys. I don’t want to waste time looking for it when I get to the car. Halfway down the flight of stairs I hear the thundering footsteps of someone behind me. “Leave me alone,” I squeal, knowing the person is catching up to me. I can hear his boots hitting the tiles, closing the distance between us. I start to jump two steps at a time, and using the railing, I try not to fall on my ass. When I can feel the person right behind me, a shriek erupts from me. My heart can’t take much more. With the next jump I take, I miss the step and my body gives way beneath me. A pair of muscled legs ploughs into me and we both slam into the banister. The cold steel of the rail knocks hard against my ear. The pain is sharp and stuns me momentarily. I shake my head to clear the

black dots spotting my vision but they keep creeping in on me. “Get up,” Liam grabs hold of my elbow and yanks me up. I blink rapidly, trying to bring his blurring face into focus, but the darkness keeps creeping in. With numb fingers I reach for the wetness trickling from my ear. “Liam,” I whisper just before the night drags me under.

Liam~ Fuck, I hurt her. She’s bleeding. Those are my first thoughts as her fingers come away with blood from her ear. “Liam,” she whispers weakly. I see the exact moment the lights go out and move into her, bracing her body with my own. Slipping my arms under her, I lift her to my chest. I don’t even bother taking her back to the shithole she calls home. “Go,” she murmurs into my chest. She’s not out cold so that’s a good sign. “What did you do to her!” Harper screeches behind me. “Guys, would you shut her up?” I glare behind me, scowling at Mickey and Hunter. “No, I want to know what you’re going to do with her,” she demands. Once outside, I head straight for my truck. “Hunter,” I glare at him over my shoulder, “I’m taking her to my place. Find out what you can from Hailey.” I hurry to my truck, wanting to get to my house before Mila regains her full consciousness. It will make things easier, seeing as she’s become a little wildcat. It only takes me fifteen minutes to get to my place but my eyes keep darting to Mila. I made a mistake leaving her without demanding she tell me more. I should have stood my ground back then, but I was too hurt to try harder. Just as I park in the garage, Mila groans again. I hope I did the right thing bringing her here. It’s only a few drops of blood, but I’ve seen worse. If she doesn’t come to within the hour I’ll take her to the hospital. Why did she have to run? Frustration bubbles in my gut. I fucking hate that she trusts Hailey, the fucking snake, instead of me. Shoving the door open, I get out and jog around to her side of the truck. She’s slumped against the door so I open it slowly and I let her slide into my arms, then pull her against me. With one quick lift I settle her nicely in my arms - right where she has always belonged.

Once I’ve laid her down in one of the guest bedrooms, I actually contemplate tying her ass down. The last thing I want is her making another run for it. I quickly go to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. When I get back to the room, I’m relieved to see that she hasn’t thrown a disappearing act on my ass. I settle for grabbing a chair and sitting my ass down next to the bed. Only when the adrenaline fades do I feel the bite of cold. I get up to turn up the heat before covering Mila with a blanket. She doesn’t groan or flutter her eyes. Her breathing stops, and that’s how I know she’s fully conscious. Then she tries to even it out, pretending to still be asleep. “I know you’re awake,” I whisper. Her eyes flutter open. They still look hazy from being knocked out. “You slammed into me?” “It was an accident.” “You weigh a ton,” she groans. “Can’t help you’re so tiny. Why did you go down in the first place? Why did you run?” I bite the questions out. I sit down on the bed, determined to get answers from her. She groans as she scoots up to lean against the headboard. The fact that she’s moving is a good sign. There’s color in her cheeks. I reach for the water next to the bed. “Drink it.” “Thanks,” she murmurs. There’s no trembling when she takes the glass and I feel my gut settling. At least she’s okay, and safe here with me. “Talk, Mila,” I demand. Fuck, I sound like a control freak. This is my Mila, I remind myself, not some convict I’m about to interrogate. I’ve got to keep this in mind when dealing with her. “Why can’t you just stay out of it?” The fire is back in her words. She slams the half full glass on the stand next to the bed, and some of it spills over her hand. I watch her wipe it off on her top. “Why can’t you just tell me?” I counter. She finally looks at me and tries to level me with a dark glare. After about thirty seconds she huffs a frustrated sigh. “You’ve changed.” “You too,” I throw back at her. “You’re frustrating the hell out of me,” she snaps. “You’re doing the same thing to me.” “Shut up.” I scowl at her and shake my head. I won’t have her talking to me that way. “Where am I?” she asks after another thirty seconds of silence. I keep scowling. No one tells me to shut up. No one. Mila’s about to learn a few lessons in

manners. “Liam!” she shrieks. “Where am I?” I get up, real slow, and stretching to my full length I tower over her. Grim-faced, I know I look like a menacing bastard. I let the seconds tick over. I wait for the uncomfortable silence to settle between us. Mila swallows. Her tongue darts out nervously, wetting her lips. She starts to fidget with her watch. Still the same tell-tale signs that she’s nervous. “Liam?” she asks, not so heated anymore. “You’re exactly where I want you to be.” My voice is low and threatening. Not that I would ever hurt her, but she needs to know I’m being serious. I’m done playing games. Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. Good, we’re on the same page. About-fucking-time. I move closer and placing my hands on either side of her head, I bring my face inches from hers. “Here’s how things are going to work from now on. I’m going to help you get out of whatever mess you’re in for one reason only.” I wait for my words to sink in. “Are you listening, Mila?” She’s just staring at me. I hate being ignored. Communication is a two-way street “Say yes!” She jumps at the volume of my voice and I immediately regret it. She’s making things unnecessarily hard here. “Yes,” she snaps. Good, the fire is still there. “I’m only helping you because I protect what’s mine.” “What the hell?” She looks at me all confused. “I have nothing that’s yours.” I bring my hand to her cheek and I notice she doesn’t pull away. She lets me brush my fingers down her silky cheek, all the way to her neck. I keep going to the edge of her shirt and I follow it to where the buttons are splayed open, revealing some of her cleavage. The swells of her breasts start to rise and fall faster under my fingertips. I lean down and trail soft breaths along her neck, following the path my fingers just took, all the way down to her breasts. I make sure my mouth doesn’t touch her. I hear her breathing harder and it’s such a turn-on. When I reach her breasts, I let out a deep breath, letting the hot air fan over her. Faster than she can blink, I grab hold of her face with both my hands. Her eyes are filled with lust. She has no time to cover her feelings up. She still wants me. I don’t know what her deal is, but I’m going figure it out. “Just a touch of lust, that’s all it takes to prove to you that you belong to me.” Shock registers deep in her eyes. I let go of her and stalk to the door. Before I leave, I turn back to give her my final blow. “You’re not leaving here until you start telling me what shit you’re in. The sooner you start talking the sooner we can move on with our lives. We’ve already lost three years. It’s time to stop this shit, Mila.”

Then I leave the room. I settle my back against the closed door and wait. Knowing Mila, it shouldn’t take too long for her to start talking. She hates not being in control.



Mila~ I can’t believe he just said that. I can’t believe Liam just took me from my home. He practically kidnapped me. Shit! Everything that happened today is just all too overwhelming. I sit still for another few seconds and let the horrible day really sink in. The betrayal of Hailey is too bitter to swallow. The fear of the cult having found me makes it feel like the walls are closing in on me. My head starts to ache and the suffocating feeling engulfs me. I sit on the toilet and stare down at the blood. Fear claws at my stomach. Why am I bleeding? I don’t understand it. I try to wipe it all up but it doesn’t help. “Help!” I scream, hoping one of the sisters will hear me. “Help me!” The door slams open and I’m horrified to see Brother Samuel. He’s the caretaker here. “Why are you hollering like that?” he snaps at me. I quickly get off the toilet and cover myself as best I can. Confusion and shame floods every part of me. “Is that blood?” he asks. I can only nod, too scared to say anything. “You’ve sinned so much that you’ve started bleeding from it. I’m disappointed, daughter.” Tears well up in the back of my throat and I sink to my knees. “I’m so sorry, Brother Samuel. Please forgive me?” “There’s no forgiving this sin, daughter. You have to be punished. You’ll bleed once a month until the bearing of a child cleanses you clean.” I hear the whooshing sound of the leather as he pulls his belt free from his trousers. “Repent, daughter.” “I don’t know what to repent for.” I start to cry, knowing that he’s going to give me a lashing. “Repent for being a daughter of sin.”

I feel utterly spent when I open my eyes again. I’m back on the bed but this time Liam is sitting next to me. There’s no anger in his eyes, only concern. “You had a panic attack,” he whispers. As the memories of the panic attack start to come back, I quickly look away. I don’t want him seeing the emotions raging inside of me. “You said some stuff,” he whispers, and I hate the kindness in his voice. I’d rather he was mean to me. “Don’t be nice to me now!” I snap. “Fuck, Mila,” he growls. “I can never win with you.” “That’s better,” I mumble, feeling so tired. If Liam’s going to be nice to me, I’m really going to lose my shit. As long as he’s mean, I can fight. It makes sense in my crazy mind. “Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just mind your own business?” “I told you, you’re mine,” he snaps. He was being serious about that shit? He sighs heavily before he leans back against the headboard. “Tell me so I can help you,” he says, his voice all kind again. If I talk, they might all get hurt. Liam, Harper, Mickey - all my friends. “You can’t help me. I’m helping you. Stop asking me to talk.” My voice is not as strong as I would like it to be. “Let me guess. It’s you not me.” He throws my words right back at me and I can hear the bitterness lacing every word. I didn’t want to tell him because I didn’t want him to see me for the monster I am. It might actually be better to tell him so he won’t keep me on this damn pedestal. It’s the only way to get him to leave - to let him see the monster in me.

Liam~ “I’ll talk,” she says the magic words. I watch her scoot high up on the bed and for the life of me, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t force

myself to hate her. I love her too much. “I just want the truth, Mila. Just talk to me.” Can’t she see I’m right here? I’ll do anything to keep her safe. “If I tell you, will you let me go?” She grabs hold of a pillow, using it as a shield in front of her, as if it can actually keep me away from her. “Not making any promises. It all depends on what you tell me.” I get up and walk over to the chair, turning it around, I straddle it. I might as well make myself comfortable. I rest my arms on the back of the chair and give Mila my undivided attention. “I was born into The Order Of The Promised Land. It’s in Utah. I was raised to be the perfect wife. My best friend got married and it changed things. She started telling me what married life was really like. She told me that the Unblemished Brothers can have sex with us whenever they want, so they can spread their seed. She told me that she got beaten for not being able to bear a child. I didn’t understand all that she told me. She was four years older and I guess she was more like an older sister to me.” Mila takes a shaky breath and I can tell that this is hard for her, but I force myself to not go to her. I have to let her talk. It’s taken too long to get to this point to jeopardize it now. Anger starts to simmer in the darkest parts of me. It’s an old anger – one that’s gained strength over the years. Suddenly, she scoots to the edge of the bed, closer to me. Shoving the pillow behind her with one hand, she grips hold of the side of the chair with her other hand. There’s panic written all over her face. “Please, I have to go. If they find me here…” She looks at me with fear filled eyes. I remember that one day we spent at my uncle’s house, the day she told me about some of her past. Her past sounded bad, and now I fear what she still has to tell me. “Tell me everything, Mila,” I whisper softly, trying to encourage her to further open up to me. “Liam,” she whispers, begging me to let it go. “Just walk away. You don’t want me to tell you.” “Mila, try me. I might just surprise you.” Her head snaps up, anger etched deep in her eyes. It’s good. As long as she’s angry, she’s not panicking. I can deal with her anger. “You think you can deal with my past?” she hisses. “They locked me up once a month. I fucking got beaten just for having my period! I had to repent for being a woman.” I saw some things during my stay at the cult my mother belonged to and it made me angry. Things like women not being allowed to make eye contact with the men. Things like women having to eat scraps of food left by the men. Woman only allowed cold baths because the heat was reserved for the men. I heard and saw a lot, but hearing Mila tell me that she was beaten for being a woman? I’m feeling all kinds of angry and primal right about now. “I’m sorry, Mila,” I say, because someone has to apologize to her for the fucked up life she’s been

given. “Liam, they’re bad people. I come from an evil place. Women are sold to settle debts. The men are gods there. They can do what they want. The order is a smoke screen for what’s really happening there. I have to go back. I left my baby sister there. I have to go back for Claire. I can’t just leave her to be abused while I’m safely here with you.” My blood turns to fucking ice, learning that she has a sister trapped in that hell hole. It all makes sense now. Fucking hell! Now I understand why Mila wants to go back. I get up and shove the chair away, needing to get to Mila – because finally she’s opening up to me – fucking finally she lets me in. “I’m a monster, Liam. I ran away and just left her there,” she whispers hauntingly. Her eyes glaze over as she sinks further into her past. “It feels as if the gates of hell are right inside of me. No matter how far I run, it’s never far enough.” I crouch in front of her. This is what my girl’s been carrying inside of her all these years? I never should have left her. “I’m so sorry I left you, Mila,” I squeeze the words out. Her head snaps back as if I’ve physically punched her. Something like bewilderment flashes over her face before it makes way for anger again. “I want you to leave! Why won’t you leave? Why don’t you get it?” She grabs hold of my shoulders with her hands and her fingers dig in deep. I don’t know if she’s doing this to hold on to me, or if she’s trying to force the words into me. “I have to go back for Claire. I might not make it out of the cult a second time, but I have to try for Claire. And if I don’t go back – they can find me, and I can’t be with you when they come. They’ll hurt you. I can’t put you through that, Liam. I love you too much.” I see the terror of her words alive in her eyes and it’s time I put her mind at ease. “Baby, I won’t let them hurt you or me. I can protect you.” Mila falls back onto the bed in frustration, and grabs the pillow, covering her face. I hear a muffled scream. Two seconds later, the pillow flies right by me, across the room, and Mila follows. She launches herself at me and tackles me right onto my ass. With my back flat on the floor, she straddles me and ties to hold me down by pressing on my chest with both her hands. I’ll give her the illusion of control for a few minutes. Her breaths are raging fast, her hair a wild mess. If we weren’t having a serious conversation this would be hot as fuck. “They’re dangerous, Liam. Get that! They’re monsters. They said they can end my life at any time.” Her face crumbles as she realizes what she just said. “Oh God, they’re already here,” she whispers. Her arms give way and she sinks into my chest. Her body trembles as she starts to cry. “I don’t want to be a prisoner again. I won’t survive it. I can’t let them beat me. I can’t marry Brother William and let the Unblemished Brothers fuck me whenever they feel

like it. I’d rather die.” The second she says those words into my chest, I feel the anger explode inside of me. I start to tremble with rage. It’s like I’m being forced to relive Rosie’s last days. “Fuck, Mila.” My voice is a low growl. I wrap my arms around her, as tightly as I can without hurting her. She presses her face harder into my chest. “I won’t allow it. I won’t fail you, too.” She heaves a shaky breath that warms my now cold body. I pull her higher, needing to hold her close to me. I slip my hand under her hair to her neck, and press her face into the crook of my neck. I want to feel her racing breaths on me. I let my other hand do a slow caress down her spine, to where I grab hold of her ass. “The marks on your back … it’s from all the beatings?” She tucks her arms in around my neck and snuggles in closer. This is all I ever wanted. Mila here in my arms. Mila is finally trusting me. “At first I couldn’t run. I knew I didn’t believe in the way of the order anymore. I knew that, if they found out, the punishment would be horrible. I also knew that if I ran, they would look for me. There was this girl, Chasidee. She ran and they found her. She was punished in front of everyone. The shackled her to the ground like a dog. She was beaten badly. They never stopped punishing her. They even took her children away from her, saying that she wasn’t worthy of being their mother. I was so scared. I was scared of staying and scared of running.” I can’t explain all I feel inside. Rage doesn’t even come close. Hatred has taken on a whole new meaning. Now, I understand how someone can kill another human being. I understand what drives someone to commit murder. “I can only remember one day in my life where I didn’t feel suffocated by fear,” she whispers. “When was that?” I’ll do anything to recreate that day for her. “The day we spent at your uncle’s place. The night you made love to me. You made me feel like I could be someone. You made me feel like I could be fearless. You made me feel brave.” “Oh baby,” I say with a trembling voice. “I love you so fucking much. You have to believe that by now. I’m going to help you get your sister. I’ll help you face that fucking cult, and we’ll deal with whatever they throw our way. Let me help you so we can finally be together. Let me do this with you. You don’t have to be alone.” “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Liam. It will kill me.” “I’ve survived a cult once, Mila.” I watch the news sink in. “My mother belongs to a cult. She gave me and my sister up because of a fucking cult. After everything you told me, I can’t help but wonder if that’s the reason Rosie committed suicide. I was only sixteen back then. I wasn’t able to save my sister, and I have to live with that regret and anger every day. Let me help you, Mila. Give me a chance to be there for you.”

She hugs me tightly to her trembling body. “I’m so sorry, Liam. I’m sorry you lost Rosie.” She takes a few deep breaths and then looks up at me. “Just promise me you won’t take any chances. Promise me you’ll be careful, and if anything goes wrong you’ll run. Promise me.” “I promise I won’t leave you alone again, Mila. I promise I won’t risk your life.” She gives me a pleading look. “That’s not what I asked.” “I promise to be careful.” She nods, knowing that’s all I can promise right now.



Mila~ Liam helps me up from the floor and places a kiss to my forehead. I feel his breath fan over my skin as he whispers, “Thank you for talking to me.” I smile shyly up at him. Now that I’ve calmed down, I feel embarrassed for the way I behaved. “It’s cold up here. Let’s go to the family room. I’ll get the fire going and make us some coffee.” “Sounds like a great idea.” I follow Liam out of the room and down a modern staircase. The banisters are made of wrought iron. I pause halfway down and lean on the banister to get a closer look. “Are those birds?” Liam stops and smiles up at me, and the pure beauty of the man before me makes my heart stutter. “Yes, it’s a bird and wind design. The second I saw it I knew this was the house for us.” My eyebrows pop up. “Us?” He slowly starts back up the stairs until he’s right in front of me. There’s so much love in his eyes and it warms my heart to finally see him looking at me like that. I missed it so much. “When will you realize that there was an us the second I laid eyes on you? We’re meant to be, babe.” He leans in and when I don’t move away, he presses a gentle kiss to my lips. Taking my hand, he leads me down the stairs and only when we walk into a cozy room, does he let go. I go to sit on the plush couch, watching as Liam starts the fire. I was always scared something horrible might happen the second I tell him about my life. I was so wrong. It felt so good when I finally told him everything that he didn’t turn his back on me, and he doesn’t blame me for being part of a cult. Liam didn’t judge me. Instead he said that he loves me. I really thought I’d lost him but now I see how stupid I’ve been. I should’ve trusted Liam instead of Hailey. I’m too drained to deal with the devastation Hailey’s confession has left behind inside me. I’ll deal with it tomorrow after a good night’s rest.

If I see her now, I might just lose my shit and beat the living hell out of her. I let my eyes follow every movement Liam makes. It’s so surreal, being here with him. “I’ll do it,” I whisper. He glances at me from over his shoulder. “You’ll do what?” I’ve missed being able to just look at him. “I’ll do us.” A look of surprise flashes over his face and then he smiles tenderly. He might have become a man in the past three years, but I still see glimpses of the boy I fell in love with. “I’m so sorry for not trusting you sooner,” I whisper. Gosh, I’ve wasted so much time that we could’ve been together. I won’t waste another second. “So we’re good now?” he asks gently. I sigh and smile at him as he sits down next to me. “We’re good,” I say, biting my lip. “Let’s just take tonight for ourselves. We’ll deal with Hailey and the cult tomorrow.” I reach up and place my hand on his cheek. “That’s a good idea. I’m too tired to face that problem now.” The day old stubble is rough against my palm. He closes his eyes, as if he’s savoring my touch. “I’m so sorry for the time I’ve wasted.” Tears sting my eyes as I scoot closer to him. "Every time I told you to go, I prayed you’d stay. Fear made me weak, Liam, and I’m so sorry.” He leans in to me and then places a tender kiss on my lips. “I’m sorry for not fighting harder, for walking away when you needed me.” I let out a soft sob and then press my lips to his. I need to feel his warmth so I move as close to him as I can. “I’ll never let you go again,” he whispers against my lip. “I’ll never doubt you again,” I whisper back, lust already coursing through my body. He breaks the kiss and stands up. He reaches behind him, and then he pulls his long-sleeved-shirt over his head. I struggle to keep my mouth from dropping open. He’s always been the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, but now… he’s perfection. He’s all hard muscle, not an ounce of fat on him. I have a sudden urge to lick his golden skin. Back at the cult we were forced to think of the men as gods, but not one of them ever looked the part. But Liam, he’s huge, and, standing before me, he looks just like what I’d imagine a god to be. "Liam, you're…" I whisper, unable to tear my eyes from his perfect chest. He leans down, and, placing a hand on either side of my head, he kisses me, a warm and tender kiss. He reaches for my shirt and starts to drag it up. I close my eyes as it moves over my head. This moment is perfect.

We can finally be together with no secrets between us. I stand up from the couch and his hands immediately move to unbutton my jeans. My eyes dart up to his and I feel the spark of heat between us. I lick my lips as I start to shove the denim down my legs. When the material is lying in a pool next to my feet, I feel a little self-conscious about standing in front of him in only my bra and panties. My first instinct is to cover myself, but the scorching look in his eyes makes me stand still. My conscience screams at me that this is wrong, but it’s quickly silenced by the sinner in me. I’m done with feeling guilty for feeling desire for the man that I love. “Don’t look at me like I’m your ticket to the promised land, babe. I’ll only lead you to hell.” There’s so much lust in his voice, it takes the sting from the words and instead settles like a bolt of fire between my legs. Heat spreads through my body and tiny tongues of desire lick at my skin. “You make me want to be a bad girl,” I whisper. My voice is hoarse with sinful need. I want to feel his touch. I want to be defiled by him. “You make me want to do bad things to you,” he growls, and then he quickly strips out of the rest of his clothes. I take in his naked perfection, so exquisitely male in every way. I reach behind me and unhook my bra, never taking my eyes from his. I let the material fall to the floor and immediately Liam's eyes drop down to my breasts. He makes a sound of pure pleasure which gives me the guts to step out of my panties. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Mila. The sight of you leaves me breathless.” I can’t remember a time when I wanted something as much like I want his hands on me. Liam is mine. I’m his. That’s all I ever wanted. A delicious shiver rushes over my skin at the thought that we’re finally together. “I missed seeing that,” he whispers. I tilt my head, silently showing him to go on. He reaches out and brushes his fingers down my cheek. “The look of pure pleasure on your face,” he says, smiling lovingly. I let my eyes drink in his features, his dark lashes and deep brown eyes that never miss a thing. My eyes keep trailing down his face to his straight nose and then they land on his full lips. I lift my hand to his face and also brush the tips of my fingers over his skin, just enjoying the feel of him. I stand on my toes at the same moment that he leans down, and our mouths find each other’s. At first the kiss is slow, but then our tongues meet, and I can’t help but moan in delight. Liam thrusts his tongue deeper and he takes a step closer, crushing our bodies together.

Sparks shoot through me and go straight to my pussy. Damn, he tastes so good. How have I lived without him the past three years? He makes me burn up until all that remains of me are smoldering ashes. I press my breasts harder against his chest. I feel his erection pressing into my lower belly and the thought of him being so close to me is a heady one. His mouth crushes to mine in a wild and hungry kiss until our breaths are racing into each other. I love the look on his face. It’s one of pure adoration and lust.

Liam~ I pull her right against me and soak in the pure pleasure of feeling her naked body rubbing against mine before I lay her down on the thick carpet right by the fireplace. I kiss her hungrily, like the starving man I am. I want to lose myself in her. I kiss her with every ounce of love I have in my heart. Finally, Mila’s naked under me. I can’t believe that we’re here, together. Was it only this afternoon that I was still drowning in my anger? I pull slightly away from her and look down at her lust filled eyes. I need to drink in every inch of her. She’s really here with me. She talked to me. My heart feels light for the first time. I feel relieved and at peace, even though we still have to face that cult. Right now, I just want to lose myself in Mila. She’s so fucking beautiful. Her long, silky brown hair is spread over the carpet. Her cheeks are flushed with desire. Once again, a fierce protectiveness fills my chest to the point where it feels like I might explode. We’ve always belonged together. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her. She was mine that day. She’ll be mine for all eternity. I close the distance between us and trail gentle kisses over her skin. “Liam,” she sighs blissfully. Fuck, I can listen to her saying my name all night long. She makes it sound like a prayer. I’m so hard for her. My cock throbs against her stomach. Once I’m inside of her, it will only take a matter of seconds for me. It’s been too long.

I’ll make it up to her right through the night, but right now I have no control. I can’t hold myself back anymore. I close my mouth over her breast and groan at the salty taste of her flesh. I take my time licking and sucking until she starts to roll her hips against me. I brush my hand over her toned stomach and then over her pussy. She’s so fucking wet … so ready. “Soon, Mila,” I groan against her silky skin. “Please, Liam. I need you now. Please.” What my girl wants, my girl gets. I crush my lips against hers and then line my cock up with her pussy. She opens her legs wider and then I surge into her tight, wet heat. “Fuck … fuck, it’s heaven,” I growl at the perfect feel of her around my cock. Her muscles ripple and her pussy grips me tightly, making my hips surge forward. Our mouths meet in a frenzy, and I start to thrust as I let all my control go. Being with Mila in such an intimate way is all I ever wanted. She starts to thrust back, rubbing her pussy against me. My hips surge forward, thrusting and grinding. “Mila,” I growl as pleasure starts to ripple through me, setting every nerve-ending on fire. “Liam,” she breathes, and pure pleasure in that one word sends me over the edge. A tingling starts in my abdomen, making me move faster. Just as the world explodes around me and my cock starts to jerk inside of Mila, she screams, “Liam!” Her pussy spasms around my cock, milking every last drop from me. I can’t bring myself to move so I remain still for a few seconds, just absorbing the feel of Mila. When strength returns to my body, I push my upper body up and look down into her eyes, filled with love and satisfaction. I place a quick kiss to her lips and as I pull out, the realization hits. “Shit, I didn’t use a condom. It was the furthest thing from my mind. I'm so sorry.” She keeps quiet until an uneasy feeling crawls up my spine, but then she shrugs. “It’s okay. The worst thing that can happen is that I get pregnant and to me that will be the greatest honor, Liam.” “Don’t say stuff like that,” I laugh. “It’s hard enough to not want to fuck you day and night, I don’t need more motivation.” She smiles up at me. “I can’t think of a better way to spend our time together.” “Me too,” I say as I roll off and pull her against me. The crackling of the fire is the only sound breaking the peaceful silence cocooning us. I wish we could stay like this forever. After a couple of minutes, Mila’s breathing slows. Slowly, I get up and look down at her sleeping form. Her nipples are still hard pebbles from our

love making. Her stomach is flat and toned as it leads to the valley between her legs. She’s perfect in every way. I grab the blanket from the couch and lie down beside her. I cover us up and then I just stare at her face in the flickering light of the fire. “I promise to protect you, Mila. I promise not to fail you like I failed Rosie,” I whisper before I let sleep take me too.

Mila As I wake up, I snuggle into the warmth enfolding me. Only my eyes are visible from beneath the blankets that smell like Liam. I smile when I remember how passionately he made love to me. A sigh of happiness escapes my lips. One glance around the room tells me that I’m alone. I sit up and spot my clothes in a bundle where I dropped them the night before. I wrap the blanket around myself before gathering my clothes, and then I go in search of a bathroom. I’m in desperate need of a shower and I’m happy when I find it quickly. I place the clothes on the bathroom counter and then reach into the shower to open the faucets. The shower is twice the size of the one back at the apartment. I’m so going to enjoy this. Liam comes up behind me and puts his arms around me. He nuzzles my neck and then whispers. “I love watching you move around my house.” “I love moving around your house,” I say, turning in his arms. “You know you’re moving in here, right?” I let my hands slide over his muscled chest, loving the feel of him. The memory of his ass flexing in my hands as he was thrusting inside me turns me on instantly. I smile up at him. “You might want to rethink that. Once I move in I might just tie you to the bed so I can have my wicked way with you all the time.” I don’t know where the bravery is coming from to say these words to him. Maybe it’s because his eyes are filled with love for me. “In that case you’re moving in today ,” he says, all seductive. He leans into me, placing a tender kiss on my lips. The second his tongue brushes over my bottom lip, things start to escalate rather quickly. It feels so good to be desired by this man. “You make me feel like a woman, something precious,” I whisper against his lips. He takes hold of the blanket and lets it fall to the floor, exposing me to him.

“You’re a goddess. You should be fucked like one,” he growls, lust swirling in his eyes. He crushes his mouth to mine in a hungry kiss that makes my insides clench with desire. I love everything about this man. I love the way he kisses me, the way his hands caress my body, the way he makes love to me. I’ll never get my fill of him. I let my hand travel down his body until I find his cock, hard and ready. I take him in my hand and squeeze. Liam lets out a moan and then he thrusts into my hand. Glancing up at him, all I see is desire, his lips slightly parted. He pushes me back until we’re both in the shower and then he circles his hips against my hand. “Feel that? That’s me wanting you right now. Hard and fucking fast,” he says, his voice deep and strained. It sends shivers racing over my body from pure delight of being able to do this to him. He turns me around and I place my hands against the wall to keep my balance. His hand caresses a hot path over the marks on my back and then he brings his arm around the front of me. His forearm goes over my breast while his fingers close around my throat. As his other hand slips over the swell of my ass, I let my head fall back against his shoulder. His fingers slip between my legs and it instantly draws a moan from me. “I want to hear you say it, babe. Say you're mine," he demands - while slipping his finger into me. I push my ass back against him and when I feel his rock hard cock, I start to move up and down, rubbing myself against him. “I’m yours,” I whisper breathlessly into the water. He pushes another finger inside me and then starts to rub my pussy while he thrusts hard against my ass. This is so erotic, feeling his hard cock sliding against me while his fingers work magic. I bring my hands to my breasts and squeeze them. It draws a low groan from Liam. “Fuck yes,” he growls, moving even faster until I’m caught up in a cloud of pleasure. The orgasm hits hard and it makes my legs quiver. Liam presses his palm hard against my clit and it makes a carnal ecstasy rip through me. He takes all of my weight as he finds his own orgasm against my ass. I feel his body jerk against mine until the last of the pleasure flows through him.



Liam~ As much as I’d like to forget the outside world exists and to stay in bed with Mila, we have to face the cult. I phoned Hunter and asked him to bring Hailey over so we can find out what she knows. I find Mila in the kitchen, making coffee. We’ll need to go by her place so she can pack her stuff, because I’m not letting her stay in that dump a day longer. “I spoke with Hunter. He’s bringing Hailey over. We need to find out what she knows and then we’ll map out a plan on how to get to Claire.” Her movements still and her body stiffens. I hate that she has to deal with this. I wish I could just do it all for her while she stays safely here, but I know there’s not a snowflake’s chance in hell of that happening. “It started snowing. After we get all the info from Hailey, we’ll head over to your place so you can get your stuff. I want you here with me,” I say as I go to stand behind her. I place my arms around her and bury my face in her hair. “I know it’s happening fast but I won’t survive another day without you.” She turns in my arms without looking up at me. I totally get that it will take her some time to get used to the idea of us. She places her hands on my chest. “I never felt like I belonged anywhere,” she whispers. “At the compound, I felt like an outsider. When I stayed with Cathy, I felt like I owed her for all she had done for me. Staying with Hailey and Harper, I felt like I had to be thankful that they were allowing me to have the corner of the living room. I’ve never felt like I belonged-” Her eyes slowly move up until they find mine, “-until you. I don’t care where I live as long as it’s with you, because you’re my home. You’re the only person who makes me feel like I could be more. You make me feel like I’m not Mila who has to hide her past, but Mila who has a future.” This woman has a way of bringing me to my knees. She has the power to break me or make me into a better man. She holds my heart in her beautiful hands and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I love you so fucking much, Mila.” I press a kiss to her forehead and soak in the feeling of us finally being together. I hear a car pull up outside, and my body tenses just thinking about what’s lying ahead of us today. If I’m feeling the pressure of what’s coming then Mila must be feeling it too. “No matter what happens, I’m here,” I say before I go to open the door. I open the door to a tired looking Hunter and a distraught looking Hailey. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her. I owe you,” I say to Hunter as I let them walk in. “I’ll get Mila. Go through to the family room.” “Sure,” Hunter says in a low tone. He sounds pissed off, which is pretty unusual for him. He’s always been the one to see the funny side to everything. Then again, there’s nothing funny about the shit that’s going down right now. I find Mila exactly where I left her. She’s fidgeting with her watch and there’s a heartbroken look clouding her face. “I’m sorry you have to do this, babe. We have to find out what she knows.” “I know,” she whispers. She tries to give me a smile. I take her hand and we walk to the family room, the coffee she was making now forgotten. The instant we walk into the room, Hailey gets up. “Mila, please, let me explain.” There’s a nervous urgency to her voice that almost makes me feel sorry for her. But then again, I’ve never seen a good side to Hailey so I just can’t bring myself to care about her, especially seeing as she’s practically back stabbed Mila.

Mila~ She looks so sincere. My heart aches just seeing her. I’m torn between feeling angry and sad. If I let the sadness take over, then I’ll pity her, and I can’t afford for her to get her nails any deeper into my heart. I go with anger because it fuels me to find out what the truth is. “Last night was a complete mess,” I say as I walk to the fireplace. I stare at the leaping flames, keeping my back to Hailey. “You said we’re cousins?” “Yes!” she exclaims. I hear movement and quickly look over my shoulder to see her coming closer. “Don’t.” I shake my head at her. “I don’t want you near me.” I turn to face her and I let my eyes glide over her. She looks like hell. Her eyes are swollen red

and her hair’s a mess. “You said you were sent to keep an eye on me?” Answers, that’s all I want from her. She nods and then sits down next to Hunter who’s staring at the floor. I’ve never seen him look so serious before. “At first it took a while for them to find you, but then you got your GED and they sent me from Salt Lake City.” “I thought you said you weren’t a part of the order,” I snap, a blinding bolt of anger lashing through me. “I’m not!” She gets up again but one look at my face makes her sit down. “I’m not, Mila.” “Then how do you fit into the picture?” Liam asks, sounding impatient. He never liked Hailey. He was right not to. Hailey’s shoulders slump and her posture looks beaten down. Hunter glances at her and I see the pity on his face. “What are you not telling me?” A tear rolls down Hailey’s cheek and she takes a shuddering breath. Her voice is thick with tears when she whispers, “You know by now that the order is a front for sex slavery, Mila. Men buy a wife from Uncle David, and, in a controlled environment, they get to do anything to her.” She takes another shaky breath and then continues, “I worked the outside. Not all clients wanted a bride. Some just wanted a quick fuck. There’s an entire outside market you know nothing of.” She looks up and her eyes are bruised pools of pain. “All women born into our family are traded in some way or another.” Silence falls over us and for a moment, all I can do is look at her. My heart is torn in two. I want to feel for Hailey. It’s almost second nature to care about her, but I can’t get past the fact that she lied to me. Eventually, I find my voice again. “So the rumors of you taking payment were true?” She just nods. Hunter gets up and limps out of the room. He looks almost as upset as I feel. I frown when the realization hits. “You and Hunter?” Again, Hailey nods, and then she whispers, “He didn’t know about my dad and Uncle David. He thought I was being full of shit.” She gets up and clasps her hands in front of her. Her eyes find mine, pleading with me. “I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. I understand that I’ve thrown our friendship away, but please let me help. Let me help you get Claire. I’ll disappear after that, and you’ll never have to see me again.” I look to Liam, not sure if I can trust a word Hailey says. This can all be a trap. “How can you help us?” Liam asks, his eyes still cold on Hailey.

“I can phone them. I can get you into the compound. They won’t just let her in with you there. I can tell them you’re looking to do business with them.” “And they’ll believe you, just like that? It’s so easy, right? Everything’s easy when it comes to you.” “Liam,” I whisper to stop him. There’s no need to insult her. It won’t make anything better. “Hailey has a point. Maybe if you say you’re there to buy me, David will let you in?” Liam shakes his head and I see the determined look on his face. “No. I don’t trust her. We’ll go with our own plan.” He looks at her with contempt. “Go back to Salt Lake City and tell them to go fuck themselves.” Hailey doesn’t even look at Liam as he tells her this. Her eyes stay locked with mine. “I didn’t fake our friendship, not once. It might not mean anything to you, but I do love you, Mila. I really tried to protect you.” She doesn’t give me chance to respond, but walks out of the room. Liam follows her out. Inside me it’s screaming to go after her, but my bruised heart won’t let me. I need time to deal with her betrayal.

Hunter took Hailey back to the apartment, or so we thought, but when we got there to pack up my stuff the place was empty. “Do you think Harper is with Mickey?” I ask on the way back to Liam’s house. “Yeah, he texted me last night. She’s going to stay with him until everything has blown over. Let’s just get you settled in, and then we’ll put a plan together.” I stare at the snow covering everything as we drive. The cult is just the same. From the outside, some might think everything is peaceful, but underneath that deceitful layer, there is only destruction and death. Nothing survives. When we get home, Liam helps me take the bags up to his room. “I’m going to go make that coffee I promised you last night already.” He kisses me lightly on the lips. “Please, don’t think of this as my house. I want you to think of it as our home, our room, our future.” That brings a smile to my face. It’s a dream coming true. I just wish it wasn’t tainted by the cult. I unpack my stuff and then put on clean clothes. When I throw my dirty clothes in the laundry basket, a smile creeps over my lips. I’ve never had my dirty clothes mixed with a man’s before. I go downstairs and find Liam in the family room. He seems to love the fireplace. I can’t blame him - it’s the warmest room in the house. He’s standing by the window watching the snow come down. I go to stand behind him and place my arms around his waist. I rest my cheek on his back and close my eyes.

“Thank you for everything,” I whisper. I’ve been thinking a lot about the cult. I’m still scared to death that something might happen to Liam. I’m not so sure I can just sit by and let him come along. But I don’t tell him this as he turns around and smiles down at me. I keep my worries buried deep, hoping he can’t see them in my eyes. I just want one more day with him. I just want one more day of feeling like I belong before I risk it all for Claire. “No more worries for the rest of the day. Let’s just take it easy,” Liam says. He brushes the back of his knuckles over my cheek, down my neck, over the tip of my breast, and then I feel him start to work the zipper on my jeans. I grin up at him. “This is your version of taking it easy?” He kneels before me and it makes my heart stutter. No man has ever kneeled before me. “Liam,” I whisper his name with all the love I feel for him. “Don’t go down on your knees.” He grins wickedly up at me. “Baby, relax. Let me do this for you. I want to.” “Relax,” I mumble as he hooks his hands into both my panties and jeans, and then he pulls them down in one go. Embarrassment of standing before Liam in such a vulnerable state makes me look at the window. Our reflection stares back at me and it’s a sight to behold – Liam on his knees in front of me. I feel the trembling all the way to my soul, and it makes tears well in my eyes. All my life I’ve been the one to kneel. Now the man I love is on his knees staring up at me with all the love my heart has always desired. “You’re a dream come true, Liam Wright,” I whisper, and then he pulls my legs apart and his tongue brushes over my pussy. My legs almost give way from the wonderful sensations that I have to place my hands on the window to brace myself against the assault. He circles his tongue around my clit, making my hips jerk with pleasure. This is … damn, this is heaven. I feel the tingling start low in my abdomen and the combination of his tongue working me and seeing our reflection sends me spiraling over the edge. Before my senses have returned, Liam strips himself of his clothes, and then lifts me. Quickly, I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks to the fireplace where he lies me down on the soft rug, and before I can brace myself, he thrusts into me with a loud growl. I dig my toes into the carpet and wrap my arms around his neck as he starts to ruthlessly thrust into me. My hands travel down his back until I cup his muscled ass. I can feel it tightening as he moves in and out of me. His whole body tenses over mine and I can feel the power pour out of him as his orgasm hits,

leaving him breathless.





Liam~ Besides Hailey coming over and the thing with the cult hanging over our heads, the past few hours have been some of the happiest I’ve ever been. I woke up early and I’ve been staring at Mila ever since. I know she plans on going to the cult by herself, but there’s no way I’m going to let her. I get up and take a nice hot shower before getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I grab a jacket and shrug it on before putting on my boots. It’s fucking cold out. When I walk back into the bedroom, Mila is busy wrapping the blanket around her. She smiles when she sees me. I walk over to her and place a kiss to her forehead. “Go take a nice long shower. I’ll get the coffee going.” I slap her on the ass as she walks away from me. “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” she teases me. I raise my eyebrows. “Is that an invitation?” She walks into the bathroom and her laughter echo against the tiles. “No, I’m talking about the coffee. You’ve been promising me coffee since I got here, and I still haven’t had any.” I shake my head at her sassiness. “I’ll make a pot just for you.” I go downstairs and quickly get the coffee going before I pull my laptop closer. I go online and book us flights to Salt Lake City for later this morning. I want to get this done as soon as possible. When Mila walks into the kitchen, she’s fidgeting with her watch. I can feel the heaviness coming off of her in waves. “Don’t,” I say, already shaking my head. “I’m going with you, Mila. Nothing you can say will change my mind. I’ve already booked the flights. We’re leaving in an hour. I’ve booked two nights there but I hope to God we get it done today.” She covers her face with her hands and I hear her take a deep breath. “I won’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you,” she whispers. I get up and quickly walk to her. I reach for her hands and pull then away, cupping her cheeks. I tilt

her face up to me and wait for her to make eye contact. Her grey eyes are clouded with worry. I hate seeing her so upset. “I’m going with you. It’s my duty to protect you, Mila, not the other way around. Nothing you say will change my mind. We’re going to do this as a team.” Her chin trembles and her voice is strained when she whispers, “I’m so scared.” I wish I could take her fear away. I wish I could shield her from what’s to come. “I know, babe.” I pull her into my arms and hold her for a long time, trying to comfort her before the storm hits us.

We make the two and a half hour drive to Chicago in silence, each busy with their own thoughts. The flight is only two and a half hours and it doesn’t take us long to get our bags. Once outside the airport, we grab a cab to take us to Hyatt Place Hotel. I really hope we won’t be staying longer than the two nights I booked it for. Mickey, Hunter and Blake wanted to come with us. They weren’t too happy when I told them that it’s something Mila and I have to do for ourselves. With time, they might come to understand that this is the closure we both need. I don’t know what I expected to feel being back here, but it’s not a sense of numbness. I expected to be flooded with dread and anger, but there’s just nothing. When we reach the hotel, I hand the cab driver the fee before climbing out after Mila. She’s tense, her eyes darting everywhere. “Are you okay, babe?” I ask as I take her hand. She gives me a nervous smile. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but it’s not this.” A short burst of laughter escapes her lips. “For some reason I thought it would all look like the compound. I never knew there was a city so close to the small world I was raised in.” I trail my eyes over our surroundings. This was my world for sixteen years. I had so much more than Mila, growing up. What happened to us as kids is so very wrong, but at least we got out. At least we found each other. I have to focus on the positive. If I don’t, the negative will drag me under.

Mila~

I sit on the bed and watch Liam as he checks something on his phone. “So we’re just going to drive up to the gates and demand they give us Claire?” There is no way in hell that it will work. Liam shakes his head. “No, we’re going to sneak onto the compound through the east side.” He comes to sit next to me and shows me a map. “Can you remember what this building is used for?” At first I have no idea, but then I find the main entrance on the map and work it out from there. “I think that’s the store house. That is, if they haven’t changed things since I’ve been there. There’s a good chance that Claire could be working there.” I feel a flicker of hope. Maybe all my fear is for nothing and it will all work out perfectly. “Okay, then we’re going to use this main road and pull over somewhere here. From there, we’ll cover this small stretch of vacant land and then use the store house for cover.” I take hold of Liam’s hand so he will look at me. “They have men that keep watch. They won’t be kind if they find us.” He gives me an encouraging smile. “I’ve dealt with a god squad before, and I was sixteen back then. We’ll take it one step at a time.” He gets up and digs in our bags. I watch him take out three pairs of socks and an extra jacket. His eyes glide over the room, then he says, “Grab that blanket as well. We might have to hide Claire.” I do as he says and pick up the blanket, holding it to my chest. My heart starts to beat fast and I have a strange feeling – this is all so familiar – the fear, the anxiety, the what ifs. It takes us another thirty minutes to hire a car. Liam makes sure the gas tank is full before he starts to drive away from the city. With each stretch of road we cover I feel edgier, until my eyes are jumping all over the place. I keep swallowing the fear down. Liam stops the car in the middle of nowhere. “Wait here. I’m going to take a look around to make sure everything is okay.” With wide eyes and a thundering heart, I watch him get out. Oh hell no! He’s not leaving me behind. I get out just as a cold wind sweeps over me. Icy shivers race down my spine. “I’m going with you,” I say to him when I see the look of warning in his eyes. He looks at me. “You stay behind me at all times, Mila. At the first sign of trouble, we call it off.” I nod quickly, thankful that he’s not making me wait in the car. We start to walk over the vacant land, sticking to the trees. When buildings become visible in the distance, my heart jumps to my throat. I can hear every heartbeat resounding through my body. I begin to tremble and I’m not sure if it’s from the cold or from fear. We reach a fence and Liam lifts the top part so I can crawl through. I wait for him before we sneak to the back of the store house.

Our feet crunch in the snow and I can only pray no one hears us. I can hear muffled voices coming from inside. Just as we peek around the corner, the door opens, and a girl steps out. She looks like a younger version of me. Before Liam can reach for me, I rush forward. “Claire!” Her name urgently explodes over my lips. She swings around and shock registers on her face. I’ve played this moment over and over in my mind. She would smile, happy to see me. She would run into my arms, thankful that I didn’t forget her. She would look up at me with those trusting eyes and … “Outsiders!” she screams. She tosses the bucket she is carrying to the side and starts to run – away from me. Outsider. I’m frozen on the spot. I watch as people run towards Claire. I hear Liam calling my name. I see the unblemished brothers running from the church, and then I see David. I shake my head as the dream I’ve been harboring in my heart shatters around me. “Claire,” I whisper. My body starts to move again, and I rush forward. I grab her hand and hold her icy fingers to my chest. “It’s me, Mila. I’m not an outsider. I’ve come for you like I promised all those years back.” Her eyes are huge and fearful. Someone shoves hard at me, and I tumble back onto the frozen ground. Liam is instantly there, helping me up. My eyes dart to the man standing beside Claire – Brother William. “Go see to the child,” he barks at Claire and I watch in horror as my sister walks away from me. She doesn’t look back. She doesn’t say anything. She just walks away from me. “Claire!” I scream, not caring about the people closing in on us. “There’s a beautiful world outside this compound. You don’t have to be scared. I’m your sister! I’ll take care of you. Come with me,” I beg. She stops and turns to face me. Her face is void of any emotion. Her shoulders are hunched – dutiful and humble. “You’re not my family,” she says meekly, the way we’ve been taught to speak. “My family is here. I’m a mother,” she says with so much pride it slays me. Liam’s arm around my waist is the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground. “I’m a wife to an Unblemished Brother.” She shakes her head at me. “You’re not my family.” She turns away from me for the second time and I watch her until she goes into one of the houses. “Enough!” David’s voice sounds over the grounds. “Go about your duties.” That’s all it takes to have everyone dutifully return to whatever job they have.

He comes to stand in front of us. Part of me instinctively wants to kneel, but I don’t. He’s just a man. “You think you can return after nine years and Claire would just leave with you? You’re a fool.” Liam’s been quiet up until now. He takes a step forward so that he’s standing between David and me. “Claire is sixteen,” Liam hisses and the anger in his voice surprises even me. “She’s a minor.” “There are no minors here,” David says smugly. “They marry when the divine one orders it so.” “That’s a load of shit you can feed your puppets,” Liam takes another step closer. “You ordered a child to marry that old piece of shit.” The control David’s been keeping in front of his people slips away. “The women here know their place. They are born to serve. They willingly marry to …” I go blind with rage as the shock of Claire refusing me starts to recede. I launch my body at David and throw everything I have into the punch. When my fist explodes with his jaw, pain shudders through my hand and up my arm. Before I can take another swing at him, Liam is there, pulling me away. He keeps his arms around me and I feel the cold metal of his phone pressing against the back of my hand. I look down and see the numbers ticking over on his phone’s screen. I frown, not fully understanding what I’m seeing. David struggles to his knees before one of the other men helps him to stand. “I’ll ruin you,” he hisses at Liam. “I’ll sell her over and over until they use her up. Women are only good for one thing and that’s turning a profit by spreading their legs.” Liam’s arms tighten around me and then I watch him press a button and everything that happened in the last few minutes pours from his phone’s tiny speaker. He recorded it? “You’re going to forget you ever knew Mila. If I find out you’re sniffling around her, I’ll send this to the press. I’ll give it to anyone who’s willing to listen. I can’t do much about this fucked up slave thing you have going here, but I can protect Mila. Don’t send someone like you did with Hailey. Don’t ever make contact again.” David’s face pales, and it’s with sadistic curiosity that I watch the side of his face turn red from where I hit him. He suddenly lunges at Liam and tries to grab the phone from his hands. The men standing around us also close in and fear ripples over me. They’re going to kill us! I’ve risked it all for nothing. “Stop!” Liam shouts. “I’ll fucking press send and this recording will go to my cousins and uncle. They will finish you off.” Immediately, David stills, and I can see the anger warring with frustration in his eyes. He knows Liam has him cornered but I can see the manic look that might just push him over the edge – he wants to kill us.

“If you come after us, I’ll send the message. If you threaten us in any way, I will send the message. I have you by the balls and you know it. Now back the fuck off.” “Get off my property. You’re trespassing,” David spits in anger. He looks at me as if I’m nothing but shit under his shoe but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Claire has rejected me, rejected freedom. I failed to save my sister. Liam grabs my hand and he starts to run back to the car. My legs move because I’ll fall if they don’t. He bundles me into the passenger side and quickly runs around the car. He speeds away from my former life, the sister that rejected me, and the hope that now lays shattered on the compound ground.

Closure … it’s such a deceiving word. There’s no such thing as closure. Time doesn’t heal all things, either. You just get used to living with the pain. That’s all there is to it. You get so used to it that sometimes, you can make yourself believe that it’s gone. There will come a day that I’ll be able to tell myself that I don’t feel rejected by Claire. There will come a day where I’ll believe myself when I say it’s okay that I left her there. Today is not that day. When we get home to Bloomington, Harper and Mickey is waiting at the house. My emotions are all over the place. I’m not sure how we got back to the car. I don’t remember much of anything after the realization that Claire wasn’t coming with me hit. “You’re okay!” Harper cries out and she grabs me, pulling me to her. She holds me so tightly that it feels like she’s squeezing the tears from me. I feel deflated. I had hoped for so much. I had dreamt an entire future that included Claire. I’ve had fantasies where I get to kill David in the most gruesome way. I feel deflated. Everything I had hoped for, dreamt about, fantasized about – none of it happened. Liam has a recording and he believes David will leave me alone. But I don’t have Claire. I don’t have the satisfaction of watching the life drain from David’s eyes. “You’re okay,” Harper says again, and then she starts to cry. For the longest moment we both just hold each other while we cry. “I have nothing,” I sob into her shoulder. “My sister rejected me. I didn’t even get to kill that bastard.” “Shh … shh,” Harper comforts me. “You have so much.” She pulls back and her hands cup my cheeks. “You do have a sister. Fuck, Mila, I’ve been here all along. Stop pushing me away. I want to be in

your life. I want to love you.” Her words make me cry harder and I throw my arms around her neck. I cling to Harper with all my strength. “I thought I lost you,” I say through the sobs tearing through my chest. “Never,” she whispers hoarsely. “I love you so much, Mila.” I feel a hand on my back and then Liam says, “It’s been a long day, Harper. I told Mickey that we’ll get together tomorrow night. Right now, we need to sleep.” “Sure,” she says, pulling away from me. Her eyes caress my face and then she smiles. “I’m so glad you’re back.” “Thank you,” I whisper as she steps away from me. “Thank you for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself.” She reaches out to me and gently brushes a tear from my cheek. “That’s what sisters do.”



Liam~ I watch everyone talking while we share the pizza Hunter brought over. I go to sit next to him and whisper, “What happened with Hailey?” He shrugs and places his plate on the coffee table. “She took off. She didn’t stick around after we left here. To be honest, I feel like shit. I feel we could have done more to try and help her.” “The problem is that we don’t know if we can trust her. She led the cult right to Mila. It’s not a matter of forgiving and forgetting. It’s a matter of not trusting her. I just don’t trust her around the woman I love.’ “I get that.” Hunter shakes his head, his shoulders slumped. I can see the guilt eating away at him. “I’m not talking about you and Mila giving Hailey a chance, I’m talking about myself. I should’ve tried harder to help her.” I stare at Hunter for a while, not sure what to make of his response to Hailey. “Do you care about her?” He stares at the floor, deep in thought and then he nods. “More than I should.” He gets up and takes a deep breath. “I’ll figure the shit out. Maybe, I’ll dig around and find out where she went. You know, just to make sure that she’s okay. I’ll feel better then.” I nod as I get up. “You do what’s best for you. It doesn’t matter what we think, Hunter. At the end of the day, it’s your life. You have to do what’s best for you, what will make you happy.” He gives me half a smile. “Thanks for understanding.” He reaches a hand out to me which I don’t hesitate to take. “I’m gonna head home. It’s been a few long days.” His eyes drift to Mila and he smiles again. “I’m glad you’re together now. Please tell her bye for me.” “Will do. Go get some rest. I’ll see you at the office on Monday.” He just nods as he walks away and for the first time I feel a twinge of guilt for the way I treated Hailey. My eyes find Mila where she’s in a deep conversation with Harper. I’m glad she has Harper. It’s

going to take a long time for Mila to get over the betrayal of Hailey and for losing her sister. I’ve made copies of the recordings and given each of the guys one, just in case that fucker is insane enough to try something. When we’ve all caught up on the craziness of the past week, Mila goes to make us all coffee. I follow her into the kitchen and lean against the wall. It’s a wonderful thing to watch her move around the kitchen. I still think she has the most beautiful hands. With everything behind us, the very air we breathe feels more relaxed. I can see the sadness shadowing her eyes because Claire wouldn’t come with us, but she knew there was a chance that would happen. But at least the fear she always carried around with her is gone. I didn’t see it for what it was mind-numbing fear. I thought she was just a shy introvert, but she wasn’t – she was scared shitless all the time. Rosie had the same demeanor towards the end. Everyone thought Rosie was just a shy kid but now I know that wasn’t the case at all. I knew she was scared back then – I just didn’t know how scared. Fear will either make you strong, or it will drown you. Rosie was only a kid. She never should’ve known that type of fear. She had the right to feel safe. I can’t blame my sister for taking her own life. But I no longer blame myself, either. Just like Mila can’t blame herself for Claire choosing to stay with the cult. With time, Mila will come to realize this, just like I did. I tried my best to protect Rosie, and Mila tried her best to save Claire – but we’re only human after all. We’re not gods. We have no control over the choices other people will make. It was a hard lesson to learn, but it’s one I’ll never forget. Some feathers will fall along the way, but new ones will always grow back. It doesn’t make the old feathers less important because they kept you flying for so long – they kept you alive. Nothing in this life is permanent. You just have to appreciate the people you have in your life, while you have, them because tomorrow, they might be gone. I’ve been blessed with Mila. I don’t know how much time we’ll have together, but I’m going to fly so damn high while I have her. She’s more than the feathers that keep me flying – she’s the wind beneath my wings. It’s late when I lock the door and check that the alarm is activated. It wasn’t one of the crazy parties we always have, and now’s not the time. Once Mila has adjusted to her new home and worked through all the shit that’s happened to her in the past week, then we can talk party. Right now I just want to make her feel safe and loved. I move to sit on the couch and stare at the fire. Mila comes into the family room and she gives me half a smile.

“Thank you for going with me. You kept me sane there for a while.” I hold my hand out to her and she comes to stand by me. I take hold of her hand and link our fingers. “I would have loved to have seen you beat him to death, but that would not have made things better.” “I know.” She drops to her knees in front of me and the sight alone is enough to make me instantly hard. “Babe?” She gives me a shy look. “I just want to be with you, Liam. I know that it will take time for the pain to go away, but until it does, I just want to lose myself in you.” I shake my hand and cup her cheek gently. “No, babe. Never lose the fucking amazing person that you are. You faced your biggest fear for another human. You’re so brave, Mila. You’re so fucking brave. Never forget that.” She reaches up and undoes my zipper, her eyes never leaving mine. “You’ve always seen the best in me,” she says as she starts to pull my pants and boxers down. I lift my ass to make it easier for her. “Only because you let me in.” When she rushes her hand over my cock before taking it in a fist, I quickly place my hand over hers. “Mila, you don’t have to do this.” “I want to.” She smiles lovingly up at me and I can see the sadness recede as lust starts to whirl in her eyes. She strokes me lightly and it sends tingles of pleasure racing over my skin. A moan bubbles up from the back of my throat as she starts to stroke me faster. I’ll do anything she wants, and it’s not because she’s got me by the balls, but because I love her with every ounce of my being. She leans a bit forward and my eyes widen. Fuck, she’s going to take me in her mouth. The thought alone makes my cock jump in her hand with anticipation. My breath hitches and my stomach tightens. She pumps me one more time with her fist before she presses her mouth to my cock. Her lips part and a breath of hot air bursts over my sensitive skin, again making my cock jump in her hand. She takes the tip of me into her mouth and then she twirls her tongue around my sensitive head, almost making me come right then. “Fuck, Mila. It feels fucking good. Don’t stop,” I growl as my hips start to thrust, wanting to plunge my cock deeper inside her mouth. She takes me fully and as she pulls back her tongue licks me from base to tip, instantly making pre-cum form on the tip. I’m not going to last long. Shit! She slides her mouth fully over me again and then starts to bob her head up and down, sucking me

hard. I lean my head back and watch her suck me. I reach for her and let my hands tangle with her silky hair. Feeling her head move beneath my hands while watching her lips glide over me … sucking me hard – fuck, it’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. My breaths come faster over my parted lips and my insides clench with pleasure. She moans and I feel the vibration all the way to my balls, and it sends me over the edge. My ass muscles tighten and I lift off the couch in a hard thrust. “Fuck, I’m going to come, baby,” I groan out as my hips start to thrust hard and fast, searching for that explosion of ecstasy in my gut. She tightens her fist around the base of my cock and then sucks hard one more time. It’s all I need to make the orgasm shudder through me, hot and fucking intense. After the last of the pleasure ebbs away, I sink back on the couch, totally drained. “That was fucking perfect.” She smiles proudly at me. “I was aiming for perfect.” She climbs on my lap and presses a kiss to my lips. “Watching you come because I’m sucking you is such a turn on.” Her tone is seductive and her eyes burn with lust. Her honesty stuns me. She’s come a long way from the shy girl I met in class. I can feel her body trembling with need. She wants me just as badly as I want her. She wants me to fuck her raw. I’m going to torture her sweet pussy until she’s aching for my cock. I start to pull her pants down and she quickly gets off my lap so she can get rid of her clothes before she straddles me again. When she tries to position herself over my already hard cock, I stop her by taking hold of her hips. I see the question in her eyes until my fingers brush over her clit. I pinch her gently and her mouth drops open on a moan. Her nipples harden even more and I lean forward, taking one between my teeth. I bite down gently and a tremble rocks her body. When I push a finger inside of her, I can feel how wet she is for me. I pull my finger out and then, taking hold of my cock, I start to rub her clit until her hips rub shamelessly against me, her pussy begging for more. Her cheeks flush with pleasure as she moans again. I drink in her soft features, her lips parting on her moans, her nipples hard as fuck, and her hips thrusting down on me. Fuck, she’s my salvation. I’m going to corrupt her and I’m going to enjoy every fucking minute. I’m her damnation and it feels fucking amazing. “Liam,” she groans when I again let the tip of my cock rub teasingly over her opening. “Say it, babe,” I growl, wanting to hear the words from her panting lips.

“Fuck me,” she moans her desire-filled eyes begging me. I position the head of my cock at her opening and before I can thrust up she pushes down on me. The pleasure is overwhelming as she wildly starts to ride me. I let my head fall back as the woman of my dreams fuck me raw. The sound of our skin slapping, our breaths rushing, and our hearts beating off the charts, make this moment all the more perfect. Her fingers dig into my shoulders and she starts to chant, “Liam … fuck …Liam,” as a look of pure ecstasy washes over her face. She moves faster as she chases her orgasm, pushing me over the edge. I thrust up hard as a shout escapes my lips. It’s toe-curling, body-numbing, earth-fucking-shattering carnality. She slumps against me and neither of us moves for a long time. We don’t have to. We can stay naked and fuck all night long because we’re finally home. Our lives are finally ours to do with what we want, and for now, all I want is Mila naked on my lap.

Liam~

I can’t stop staring at the screen. I hear a knock on my office door but keep reading the messages over and over. “You are going to be a daddy,” I hear the most amazing seven words ever spoken. I look up from the screen and my eyes instantly go to her stomach. As if in a trance I get up and walk to where she’s standing. I kneel down before her and press my forehead to her stomach. I take a few deep breaths as I try to not cry, but it’s useless because the tears start rolling over my cheeks. I look up at Mila – my Mila. I can’t get any words out as the moment is overwhelming me with joy. She kneels in front of me and then she brings her hands to my cheeks. She caresses the tears away with her thumbs and then presses a kiss to my lips. She takes my hand and holds it to her stomach and then looks up at me with a brilliant smile.

“Our child … our love.”

A letter from me to you… This book almost didn’t happen. I know you want your happily-ever-after for Mila and Claire, but things don’t always work out as we planned. I know you want David dead, but sometimes bad triumphs good. This story is not about being reunited or getting revenge – this story is learning to live when it feels like you’ve failed. This story is about forgiving yourself for matters outside of your control. It’s about learning to treasure what you do have, instead of pining away for what you don’t have. It’s a scary thought – being alone. We attach ourselves to people to the point where we lose the person we are. We convince ourselves that we wouldn’t last a single day without them. I believe life has a way of yanking you back onto your feet. It forces you out of your comfort zone so you won’t lose yourself completely. When the sharp edges of the pain have subsided, you’re left with only one thing to do – you have to face yourself. I’ve learned that at the end of the day, people come and go – but only one remains a constant. You. Fight for yourself. Be strong for yourself. You deserve someone who won’t leave you behind – and that someone is you. You deserve to trust someone unconditionally – that someone is you. You deserve to love someone with all your heart and soul – that someone is you. If you’re going to give it all, then give your all to you. Hugs, Michelle.